A Lover's Wish

Fascinated with Chinese culture, Kianna has saved every spare penny. The unexpected death of her parents snatches her dream of travelling from her grip and fate forces her to use her savings to pay for the funerals. Defeated, depressed and dying slowly on the inside, she goes through her days on automation. Dao takes one look at Kianna and something inside snaps. He wants to get to know her better and hires her as his personal assistant. Destiny intercedes and a family emergency sends him rushing to China, taking Kianna with him. Dao deals with Kianna’s low view of herself, his family’s emergency and everything else that comes with courting a woman outside his culture. Unexpectedly handed a chance to glimpse her lost dream, Kianna is forced to confront her fears.

The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. A Lover’s Wish Copyright © 2009 Kadian Tracey ISBN: 978-1-55487-453-8 Cover art by Martine Jardin All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher. Published by Devine Destinies An imprint of eXtasy Books Look for us online at: www.devinedestinies.com

A Lover’s Wish

By

Kadian Tracey

Dedication To Grandma V—you are loved, RIP

Prologue he moment Kianna opened her eyes, there was Tsomething in the air that did not feel right.

There was a strange sense of doom. She lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling like a deer in headlights. The feeling was so overwhelming that each time she thought about getting up, fear shoved her back against the bed. Her stomach curled into knots, her palms got sweaty and her heart began racing. She rolled over, glanced at the clock beside her bed and arched a brow. That was strange. It was past eleven in the morning and she had somehow slept in until then. Had the phone rang and she hadn’t heard it? Normally on a Saturday morning, her mother would have called to wake her at nine o’clock sharp. Then the two would go grocery shopping together. Ever since Kianna had moved into her own house, her mother would go grocery shopping with her. Kianna always thought that this was her mother’s way of making sure she was eating right, but she hadn’t pushed the issue. 1

Kadian Tracey She shoved her feet out of bed and sat on the edge, just staring at the telephone. She peered at the voicemail beside the clock, but the red message light wasn’t flashing. Something was definitely wrong. Without taking a shower, Kianna got dressed in a pair of jeans and a tank top. She grabbed her car keys and wallet just before slipping a piece of minty gum into her mouth, then hurried out the door. Halfway to her car, she skidded to a stop, turned back inside the house and this time she stopped in the kitchen. She yanked her cell phone from the charger and was out the door again in a flash. She was starting the car and hadn’t even closed the driver’s door. Soon she was speeding down the street. Her heart was beating harder inside her chest— so hard that a sharp pain vibrated from it through her. The beat of her heart was so loud that it sounded as though it was humming inside her ears. She swallowed and there was a slight pop in her ears, but she didn’t stop to worry about it. Why hadn’t her mother called? Why hadn’t her mother driven over to wake her up? Where was her mother? All she knew was that she had to get to them and fast. The feeling didn’t go away—it simply got worse. She dodged through traffic, ran through a stop sign and made the left that carried her onto her 2

A Lover’s Wish parents’ street. She should have looked around to make sure there weren’t any cops, but didn’t have time for that. She would deal with them if they sent her a ticket later. The cops didn’t have to pull you over anymore—they simply get your license plate number, entered it into a computer and you got the ticket in the mail. It was safer for them and annoying for the driver. That caused her to roll her eyes insolently and she slammed on the brakes. When she pulled up before her parents’ place, she felt a strange sense of coldness wash over her. The dread got worse the closer she got to the front door of the large house. “Mom!” she called, stepping forward into the open door. She closed the door behind her. That in itself was strange. Her parents always closed the door and locked it. Her father always checked it after her mother entered to make sure it was secure. “Dad? It’s me! Where is everyone?” She peered into the living room before walking into the kitchen. Her dad was sitting, slouched over the kitchen table, “Dad?” She rushed to his side and sat him back into the chair. “Dad?” “Kiki?” her father muttered. “It’s all over.” “Dad what’s going on, where’s Mom? She didn’t call me for groceries this morning.” “Gone.” 3

Kadian Tracey Kianna arched a surprised brow, “Dad, you’re not making any sense. What do you mean gone? Did she leave you? What did you two argue about?” “No argument. She woke me up saying that her chest hurt about two-thirty this morning. I took her to the hospital and they couldn’t save her— she had a stroke. All these years and she’s gone just like that. What am I going to do?” Her mother was gone? How could she be gone? Her mother had been the one who insisted on eating healthy. Even though Kianna gained some pounds that was because—well nature—because she could not afford baseball anymore or a gym membership. She couldn’t even afford to go down to the local recreation centre to take up some sort of dance program. But her mother was healthy. She had gone on a cruise a year before and brought back pictures of her doing the limbo! How could her mother be dead? There had to be some kind of mistake! “Mom isn’t dead!” Kianna gripped her father’s shirt and shook. “How can she be dead! She is Mrs. Healthy! She’s the one that forced me into sports when I was only six! She was the one that got you walking every morning because the doctor told you that you needed to lose a few pounds! How can she be dead from a stroke?” 4

A Lover’s Wish Her father didn’t fight back. He didn’t argue or yell. He simply sat there with a dazed look in his eyes. Guilt washed over Kianna and she released him. “Dad why didn’t you call me?” Kianna sobbed, burying her face into her father’s chest. “Why didn’t you call me?” “It happened so fast. One minute we were driving to the hospital and the next minute the doctors were telling me she is gone. I didn’t even tell her goodbye and that I loved her.” “I’m sure she knew you loved you, Dad,” Kianna whispered. “But I used to tell her every day,” he replied weakly. “The first words I’ve said to that woman every morning since we began sleeping in the same bed were I love you. I didn’t tell her this morning, Kiki.” When she stepped back and looked at her father, she hardly recognized the man sitting at the table. He didn’t look like the strong man she had grown up with—he was weaker, a shadow of his former self. He was no longer the man who had picked her up and twirled her around while she laughed and begged him to spin her faster. His eyes were dead and it seemed that the moment her mother died, her father had given up. “Have you eaten Dad?” “No. I’m not hungry.” 5

Kadian Tracey “Dad, if you eat something, then we can talk about what to do about Mom and the funeral.” He inhaled deeply and stood. He wavered slightly on his feet before clutching the table tightly. “Alright. You make me some scrambled eggs.” He kissed her head. “I’m going to grab the brochures that the doctor gave me from the car. I love you.” Kianna gave a small smile even though she felt her world falling apart. But at least she had her father. Together, she knew they would be able to work through everything. “Love you, too, Daddy mine,” she whispered what she would always say when he told her how much he loved her. Ever since she was a child, those were the words she would reply. His face would light up back then, but at that moment, he had simply smiled at her. He turned and walked from the room—not in his normal proud, upright walk. But in a walk that told her he had been broken. With tears pooling down her face, Kianna turned to the cupboards and began putting together what she needed in order to make breakfast. She couldn’t fall apart, not in front of her father. She would be strong for him and when she got some free time alone, would fall apart. It made no sense to make him see her cry. “Kiki!” Her mother yelped the first time Kianna had caught them kissing. She had not been feeling 6

A Lover’s Wish well at school and after lunch period, her teacher finally sent her home with a note. They hadn’t expected her to be home so early. She was just in time to watch her father sneak up behind her mother, grab her around the waist and kiss her neck. When her mother saw her and yelped with a laugh, Kianna had just giggled, handed over the note and darted up the stairs. Her mother and father weren’t far behind, wanting to know if she was alright. Her family was different. They always made sure that each other was alright, but there was a sense that they weren’t the typical, African American family. A smile crossed Kianna’s lips and she inhaled shakily. She had been just about to put the pot onto the stove and had picked up an egg when the silence of the air was shattered by a loud bang. As though in slow motion, the egg and the pot slipped from her fingers. They hadn’t even hit the ground yet, but Kianna was out the door and darting toward the garage. She skidded to a stop beside the car and bit down painfully against her lip. She fell to her knees and banged her fist against the side of the car. “You coward!” she screamed at her dead father. “You selfish coward!” She didn’t have to go into the car to know he was dead. She could see the evidence on the other 7

Kadian Tracey side window—blood and small chunks of flesh. She knew he was dead. “Don’t leave me…” Her life was over and there was nothing she could do about it. She wasn’t given a choice! He had simply taken the easy way out and left her alone in a world that was confusing to her. She was an adult, but she was scared to be by herself in the world. Anger and hurt surged through her, causing her head to throb. Someone was calling her name, but she was too lost to reply. The voice sounded like gibberish. Hands held her shoulders while the voice yelled at someone else. She was being lifted from the ground when her eyes suddenly rolled back into her head and darkness took over. The next moment Kianna opened her eyes, she looked up into her best friend, Jace’s, face. Kianna smiled. “I had the worse dream.” The grim look on Jace’s face caused Kianna to fly into sitting position, wince and flop back against the bed. The room spun above her head. “Where am I?” “The hospital,” Jace whispered. “Your parent’s neighbours found you against your father’s car and called the ambulance—” “It wasn’t a dream, was it?” Jace shook her head. Kianna passed out again. 8

A Lover’s Wish

Chapter One was probably a good thing that Kianna ItSanderson did not believe in reincarnation. If she

had, she would have believed that she must have done something extremely horrible in a previous life and was being punished in her current life. If she believed in reincarnation, she would think that someone had held a grudge from her previous life. That had to be the explanation to everything that was happening around her and to her. She sat in the waiting room, clutching the cheque to her chest. She was sitting on the edge of her seat, back straight, purse over one arm and her feet crossed at the ankles. Staring straight ahead, she couldn’t remember the last time she had blinked or felt anything. She blinked—simply because her mind couldn’t remember. She hadn’t cried yet because she was waiting to be alone to allow her selfish tears to pool down her face. Her heart hammered into her chest as her mind told her to run. Her mind told her that if she got 9

Kadian Tracey up now and ran out the door, they couldn’t take her cheque, they couldn’t stop her and she wouldn’t have to give up a dream she had had since she was sixteen years old. It was hers, no one else’s and they didn’t have a right to be putting her through this. Tears stung her eyes and she inhaled deeply and held the breath. The veins in her neck stood stiff, bulking out the side of her neck as she tried to hold the tears back. The longer she held the breath, the less the tears stung until finally she let the breath out with a whoosh through her mouth. “Ms. Sanderson, the director will see you now,” the secretary called in one of those sickeningly sweet voices that would annoy the hell out of anyone. Kianna stood. She wondered why the secretary was so cheerful. The woman had been smiling ever since Kianna walked in for her appointment. Was this woman too dumb to realize she worked in a funeral home—a place where no one wanted to see a smile? It was like the woman had that smile stapled onto her face, a permanent fixture and she would die should she stop smiling. Kianna hated people like that. They were the kind of people that woke up happy—the kind that you could hit them with your car and they would look at you, smile then say, don’t worry about it, accidents happen! and giggle with a shrug. They drove her 10

A Lover’s Wish mad, made her blood boil. It was not understandable to her how a person could always be happy. It wasn’t natural. The woman ain’t right. There had to be some kind of pill or injection or tea that made someone that way. But then again, one can always tell what was on the outside of a person, but have no clue what was on the inside. The inside could be a storm, a darkness. Damn happy people. Biting back a growl at the woman, Kianna barely refrained from hissing. She swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat while using one hand to straighten her skirt, then her jacket. Taking in a deep breath, she still had the cheque gripped to her chest with her other hand. Kianna bid her feet to move her toward the office. Walking into the room, she swore that the people working in the funeral home had no clue what it felt like to be mourning. First there was the secretary with that stupid smile on her damn face and now this? The walls were painted an ungodly bright blue. It was as though they were trying to take people’s mind off the fact that it was a funeral home and that they would have to fork over big money to bury someone they loved. When the door closed behind her with a distinct click, she jerked around and looked at it. It was her trap. Kianna knew it, a fact there was no 11

Kadian Tracey turning back once that door closed behind her. It was strange how life worked. Everything that she had ever dreamt of doing with that money she had been saving over the years was gone. One stroke and a suicide later, she was fresh out of dreams, hope and the will to live. Biting down against her lower lip, she stood before the man’s desk, waiting on him to look up from the file he was scribbling in. The office was dark and depressing. Not only were the walls painted in that dumb blue colour that looked as though they had given it one too many coats, but there were no windows and only two small bulbs in the ceiling gave any light at all. Pictures of Abraham Lincoln and landscapes hung askew on the walls and she wondered when the last time someone had gone through and fixed anything was. On his desk was a replica of the Starship Enterprise NC-1701-A—Captain Kirk’s ship if she knew anything about her Star Trek. A framed picture of a dog sat facing the visitor’s seats as well as a plastic grenade that said complaints department, pick a number. If Kianna wasn’t so upset, she would have laughed, but she didn’t feel like it. She had tried, but nothing came. It’s a sad day when a woman can’t smile. There were no pictures of family or friends. Figures. The undertaker has no family. 12

A Lover’s Wish “Ms. Sanderson!” He greeted her with a big smile on his face. If someone was going to pay her twenty thousand dollars she’d be happy, too. I swear if one more person in this joint smiles at me again, I won’t be liable for my actions! Lifting her chin proudly, she used her free hand and accepted his. She shook it once and let his hand go as though he had the plague. “Please, have a seat.” With a curt nod, she sat on the edge of her seat. “You said to bury both my parents it would be twenty thousand dollars.” Kianna was rather proud of herself because her voice sounded strong to her ears. There was no shaking, no quivering, but cold and hard. “That is correct.” Kianna nodded again. Bowing her head, she pulled the cheque from her chest and stared down at it. In a way, she was slowly saying goodbye. She was saying goodbye to years of working in a fast food joint, working through college and then working a dead-end job at a bookstore after she had graduated. It was farewell to years of going without makeup, girls’ nights, name brand clothes—new clothes for that matter. It was years of living on a strict budget, never deviating and buying crazy things. When the tears threatened to topple down her cheeks, she held out the money 13

Kadian Tracey and lifted her head to look at the man in the black suit that sat across from her. “Here,” she spoke weakly. The man reached out and tried taking the cheque. Kianna’s fingers were frozen against it. “Ms. Sanderson, you have to let it go.” “Yeah,” she whispered and her fingers released the piece of paper. As the meeting progressed, Kianna signed all the necessary papers, then stood, shook his hand again. Thanking him, she turned and left the funeral home. She walked by the secretary’s desk without as much as a smile. Shoving out the double doors, Kianna quickly slid on her sunglasses. The tears broke their borders and toppled down he cheeks then. She let them have their way because soon she would be in the privacy of her car. But they were only silent tears as she climbed into her ten-year-old car and sped off toward her small house near the Rogue. She didn’t turn the radio on or even the air conditioner. She had to get home quickly. Her fingers tightened against the steering wheel until her knuckles were a strange, pale brown colour. Her back wasn’t even touching the back of her seat. Her foot was on the gas and she was going. Getting home then wasn’t in any fashion of following directions, but by automation. 14

A Lover’s Wish When she finally burst through her front door, she slammed it shut behind her, slid the dead bolt and the chain in place and dropped her purse and keys to the ground. Stumbling into the living room like a zombie, she sat down slowly against the edge of her sofa. Removing her sunglasses, it slipped from her fingers against the floor and she didn’t care. Doubling over, Kianna buried her face into her hands as her control disappeared. She sobbed. Her body shook violently. She cried not only for herself, because of everything then. She cried for the loss of her mother to the hand of nature. She cried for her father’s utter stupidity in killing himself. But most importantly, she cried because she was alone and her dreams were gone. She had nothing left. Kianna cried until she was literally out of tears. Her throat burnt, her eyes stung and her ribs hurt from heaving. When that happened, she stopped sobbing, dried her eyes with the back of her hands and stood. Walking up the stairs of her small house, she stripped down, turned on the shower and sat in the tub beneath the downpour of water. It was four long days later and it seemed as though every last person from her mother’s church and her father’s workplace were at her house. Her friend, Jace, had helped her because 15

Kadian Tracey Kianna’s hands were shaking too hard to do much of anything on her own that day. She was dressed in a long black dress with her short hair gelled down neatly. Her stocking clad legs carried her through the room, greeting people, accepting their deepest condolences for the loss of her dear, dear mother and her poor father. Some of the people, Kianna knew were there to eat the food because she’d never met them before. Still, she stapled a smile to her face and continued with her head held high. But it was really hard. Someone had just spilled juice on the sofa and before that, she tried to rest her feet only to sit in what looked to be salsa on a chair. They were really starting to irritate the hell out of her. Kianna turned to pick up another tray. “We’re out of chicken fingers,” Jace MacBride whispered. “I’m gonna run down to the corner store and pick some up.” “Don’t leave me alone with these people!” Kianna whispered fiercely. “If we’re out of chicken fingers, then we’re out. They’ll just have to eat something else or get the hell out.” “The store is just around the corner and I’m driving so I’ll be back before you even notice I’m gone,” Jace arched a brow. “I’m serious, Jace. I think I’m about ready to snap and we both know it won’t be pretty.” “You know you’re overreacting, right?” 16

A Lover’s Wish Kianna wagged a finger at her best friend and was about to say something when her name was called. Inhaling deeply, she found the smile from somewhere deep, placed it on her face and turned around. It was Mrs. Jackson, the pastor’s wife. “What time is the funeral?” the woman questioned with the hat that looked ridiculously too big to fit her head. Kianna wanted to whack her with something. How could you be the pastor’s wife, be the pastor’s secretary and not know when he’s supposed to be presiding over a funeral? Kianna turned to Jace and whispered, “Still think I’m overreacting?” Kianna’s smile did not waver when she turned back to the older woman, “I believe it is at ten in the morning.” “Ten in the morning? Why that ungodly hour? Do you know what the traffic will be like in this forsaken city? And besides, on Saturdays I am not awake before eleven. Who picked that time?” Kianna’s smile faltered and she growled, “Look, you lazy—” “It was the best time the funeral home could come up with,” Jace stepped in. Kianna’s plastic smile was back the moment Mrs. Jackson looked to Jace, then back to Kianna. Excusing herself, she placed her tray down. If she didn’t get out now, she was going to say something she would regret later. The thought 17

Kadian Tracey that those people were her parent’s friends and not hers and she couldn’t care less what they thought flashed through her mind. But in order to save her partial sanity, she turned. She was making a beeline for the stairs to hide herself in her bedroom when the pastor himself stepped into her path. She wasn’t ready to hear one of his infamous lectures about God’s will be done and she was sure if he started one, she would haul off and kick his butt to Albuquerque. “Sister Sanderson,” Pastor Jackson began. “Is dead. My name is Kianna,” she spoke insolently. “Very well, Kianna. I am truly sorry for your loss. I know it is hard now because you loved your parents like any good daughter should. But you have to understand that this is God’s will.” “With all due respect, Pastor, if you believe that my mother’s stroke was God’s will, then alright, I’ll give you that one. But I sure as hell don’t think that it was God’s will that my father took a .45 to his own damn head!” Shoving roughly by him, she heard someone gasp, but didn’t give a flying fig if she had offended anyone. Climbing the stairs, she locked herself in the bedroom and stared out the window. She was breathing harder than normal—her anger had seeped through her veins, flowed throughout her body and left her panting. Closing her eyes for a 18

A Lover’s Wish brief moment, she reeled in her temper and leaned heavily against the wall. The sun dying over Dillon Hall was the most beautiful thing in the early November sun. There were splotches of purples, oranges and yellows in the sky. The cool air flowing through the open window kissed and caressed her skin. She tried to take some comfort in it, but all she could think of was the sight of her father slumped over the steering wheel of his car. Kianna whimpered weakly while shaking her head to clear the images. Had he even stopped to think that this daughter, his only baby, would find him like that? Had he thought of what kind if mental issues she would have after witnessing her father dead like that? Whenever she closed her eyes, she could still see it. In fact, she could see him walking toward the car with the gun in his hands. Then he would climb into the car, close and lock the door, inhale deeply before lifting the gun to his head. Bang! She dipped to hide with a gasp. When she realized it was all in her head, Kianna started laughing. Her own mirth sounded alien to her very ears, but she continued laughing. It was one of those instances to her that if she didn’t laugh, she would go insane. She finally stood again and leaned against the window frame. Staring out desperately, she 19

Kadian Tracey inhaled deeply. She needed a salvation, a saving grace and she was praying that she would see it out the window. Instead, she was taken in by the beauty of the old mansion across the way. The vines attached to the outside of Dillon Hall had leaves of all colours—reds, oranges, yellows and browns. She tilted her head and marvelled at the way such simple things in life could take someone’s mind off the worse things in life. She allowed herself to be taken away, to a world where she was not in pain, a world where she wasn’t conflicted. She could hear the waves of an ocean crashing against rocks and from somewhere in the distance, a foghorn blared. Birds flew overhead, singing their beautiful songs. In this peaceful place that Kianna had managed to pull herself, she was laying beneath the eyes of heaven with the sun kissing her face. In this place, she was untouchable, invincible and loved. But sadly that peace was not to last as the door opened behind her and Jace called her name. Kianna didn’t turn away from the view before her. “Kianna, the guests are leaving,” Jace whispered. “I thought maybe you would like to come and thank them for coming?” “No,” Kianna spoke defiantly. “I am tired of them. Let them all leave.” There was a slight silence and Kianna thought that Jace had left. 20

A Lover’s Wish Turning around, she saw that Jace was still there, watching her, “What?” “After they leave, you and I need to sit down and have a little talk.” Kianna turned back to the window. She watched as one by one, her street cleared of her visitors’ cars. She could only imagine the mess they had left behind for her to clean up later. A frown creased her lips and that frown only got deeper when her door opened again and she heard her bed creak from Jace flopping down on it. “Alright, so let’s talk,” Jace breathed. Kianna stood at her window, her place of invincibility and thought about it. She thought of where to begin with what she was wanting, thinking, feeling. But no matter what she thought about or how she thought about it, it didn’t seem like a very appropriate place to start. “Where do I start?” “At the beginning,” Jace replied. “If I wanted Kung-Fu confusion, I would watch an episode of the Legend of Kung-Fu,” Kianna snapped. “Look, there’s no need to bite my head off! I’m just trying to help you put things into perspective. First of all, where’d you get twenty thousand dollars? Even though I thought he was ripping you off.” 21

Kadian Tracey “Don’t start with the rip off thing again.” Kianna sighed and moved to sit down beside Jace on the bed. She didn’t meet her friend’s eyes because she felt as though she had done something horribly wrong. “I know. But ain’t no one paying that much money to bury two people.” “Jace…” Kianna’s exasperation was showing. “I know—I know! Anyway—wait a minute. Did you use your mortgage savings?” Jace flew into sitting position. “Kianna?” “No.” “Then where did you get twenty thousand—oh hell no! Tell me you didn’t.” Kianna got up again. Suddenly it was as though her bed was on fire and she couldn’t be anywhere near it. It scorched her. “Kiki?” “Jace, don’t make this harder, please,” Kianna pleaded. She wrapped her arms around herself as she felt tears welling up again. “I just…” “How could you do that though?” “It wasn’t like I had any other choice! They died and left nothing but the house. A house can’t pay for their funeral. The funeral home wanted their money—and they wanted it now. All those years they’ve been working, they didn’t save a penny! They hadn’t had a child to take care of for twelve years and they had nothing saved! I didn’t want 22

A Lover’s Wish them to have a pauper’s funeral—I couldn’t live with myself.” “It’s all gone?” Jace’s voice trembled. Kianna shrugged while turning to face Jace. “Yep,” she managed before the tears went tumbling down her cheeks. “All gone—” That last phrase sounded like a small child who had just thrown something out that her parents wanted to keep. She felt feeble, weak almost pathetic. Jace’s arms were around her and the next thing she knew, Kianna let her forehead fall against her friend’s shoulder. She didn’t sob like she had earlier because she couldn’t. She had nothing left within her. “There has to be a way to get it all back,” Jace whispered while pressing a kiss to Kianna’s head. “There has to be.” “It’s going to take too long. I work minimum wage now and I actually have to take care of a house and a car now. I have bills to pay. I can’t afford to scrimp on those. That money had taken me years to stash away. There is no way I can save that much again.” Kianna pushed air out her mouth and stood away from her friend. “No. I have to face the facts that some dreams aren’t worth it and just move on. It blows baby chunks, but what can you really do about it? Huh? Nothing. You can sit there and sob all the time and drive yourself nuts or you can just shrug and walk 23

Kadian Tracey away. So I’m going to get a glass of wine, take a bath and crawl into bed. Tomorrow is a whole other disappointment and I can’t wait to see which one it’s going to be.” “The funeral?” “I doubt it,” Kianna spoke, wrinkling her brow. “They’d better do a good job, especially since I paid so much money. I’ll be mad as hell otherwise.” “I’m not going to say anything to that. You know how I feel about it,” Jace chuckled at that and turned for the door. “You get in the bath and I’ll get you a glass of wine.” “No, we should clean up first.” Jace didn’t argue. Kianna was happy for that. The truth was, Kianna needed something to keep her mind and hands busy. If she was too busy to think, this whole thing would just be one big blur to her and she could tire herself out faster. That way when she finally fell asleep that night, she would be too tired to even dream. That was how she liked her life since her parents had died—a blank slate. Silently, the two worked stuffing paper plates into large, black garbage bags. Then they crushed Styrofoam cups, emptied uneaten food into bags and dumped half-empty cups into the sink. Afterward, while Jace washed the serving trays, bowls and plates, Kianna took disinfectant wipes 24

A Lover’s Wish to the living room—anywhere someone might have placed a cup or a plate or even their bum. At one point someone, had taken it upon themselves to sit on her dinning table, which had left her fuming. Giving that spot an extra dose of pine disinfectant, she dumped the used wipes into the garbage and proceeded into the kitchen to help Jace with the washing. “Hey! I got an idea!” Jace flailed happily. Her outburst scared the crap out of Kianna. The glass she held slipped and smashed to the floor. Kianna moaned. “Ugh! Sorry Kiki.” “What idea did you get?” “You could sell your parent’s house!” Jace explained. “I mean you have your own house, you don’t need two, right? It would cut down on the bills and the going back and forth—it would help. Maybe use that money to go to China like you always wanted to.” Kianna pressed her back against the counter. She crossed her arms over her chest and thought about what Jace had suggested. A strange feeling flowed through her. “Ain’t nobody wants to live in a house where a man and his wife died. There is something about that house—something strange.” “That’s what you think.” Jace frowned. “In this economic down turn, people want a good deal on houses—especially since many of them are 25

Kadian Tracey looking to start over. How much did your parents pay for the house?” Kianna shrugged. “No clue. I guess I can dig through their papers and find out. I do know they paid off the mortgage years ago. And it would be good to not have to worry about the upkeep on it.” She sighed and fell silent. “Well, you could get a job, something that pays a lot,” Jace sighed. Again Kianna sighed. It was late into the night, bordering midnight, when the two friends slumped onto the living room sofa with a glass of cheap, red wine in one hand and cookies in the other. With their backs pressed into the sofa, they sat there silently, sipping from their glass and watching the moon outside the window. “Do you ever stop to think that maybe, your father could never live without your mother?” Jace questioned out of the blue. “I mean, think about it. He’s known her ever since high school. They’d dated for five years, then got married. The two of them have been together for what? Thirtyfive years in total?” “No, about forty-one, forty-two,” Kianna corrected. “They started dating, then broke up, which, by the way, lasted for like a minute and went back to being friends, then dated again. Second time was the charm I guess.” 26

A Lover’s Wish “That’s my point,” Jace whispered. “They had to have loved each other very much to have stayed together for so long.” “There’s no such thing,” Kianna blurted before sitting up and draining her glass. “No one can love another person that much.” “How do you know?” “Because that’s something fairy tales are made of and I was taught a long time ago that fairy tales weren’t real.” “Just because your brother was a prick, doesn’t mean you have to believe everything he said,” Jace countered. Kianna rubbed her tired eyes and exhaled. “Look,” Jace continued. “All I’m saying is maybe after so many years, your father couldn’t see himself waking up every morning, reaching over for her and her not there. Maybe that was harder for him to think about than death.” Kianna remained silent. “There are worse things in this life than death, Kiki,” Jace added. “Maybe being alone, after loving and being with someone for so long was the one thing in your dad’s life that was worse than death, you know?” Kianna didn’t reply. The grandfather clock close to the front door began singing. It was midnight. 27

Kadian Tracey

That night, in bed, for the first time since she was six, Kianna prayed. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the lord my soul to keep. That if I die before I wake. I pray dear lord my soul to take. The day of the funeral was no better or different. Kianna still felt as though someone had stolen something from her that ruined her life. When the coffins of her parents were lowered into the ground, she still couldn’t cry for her father. She didn’t think he deserved the tears, though she wanted to mourn him. All she kept thinking was that he had a choice—life or death and he chose the wrong one. He chose to leave her in a world that she didn’t like, a world she had never without family in before—alone. Rain fell lightly over the crowd that had gathered to pay their respects to the dead couple. People were wailing and sniffling and Kianna felt sick to her stomach. She knew that when they went home, their conversations would not be sympathetic. “Poor child. Can you believe what her father did?” “Darling girl, but she is a tad strange.” Kianna shook her head and slumped back into the chair as the priest went on to The Lord’s Prayer. She could barely bear it. But still she sat, like a 28

A Lover’s Wish good little girl. When it was all over, she spent a few minutes alone with the graves until it began raining. Jace returned, wrapped her arms around Kianna’s shoulders and walked her back to the car. They drove in silence all the way back to Kianna’s home and just as silently, Jace tucked her into bed.

29

Kadian Tracey

Chapter Two smiled as he listened to his mother’s worry. Dao “Don’t worry Ma, I just want to make sure you and Dad are taken care of. You took care of me— you’re still taking care of me—why can’t I do the same for you?” “But a private doctor? That has to be expensive! How are you affording all of this?” “Ma, please don’t worry, okay?” Dao pressed. “Let me do this. Besides, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you and Dad. Okay, please?” “You’re not into the drugs, are you?” His mother’s voice sounded incredulous. “I heard those things are big in Canada.” Dao laughed. “No Ma. I’m not into drugs. Do not worry. I promise.” His mother went silent. Dao kept the quiet going for he knew her well enough to know she was thinking. His personal assistant stuck her head in to remind him of his upcoming meeting and he nodded. “Alright, Ma. I’ll call you soon. I have a meeting. Be nice to the 30

A Lover’s Wish doctor for me? And if he gives you and Dad medicine, please take them. Don’t worry about the cost.” His mother laughed. “I’m your mother. I’m always nice.” Dao chuckled for he could see her inside his head, lifting her chin proudly as she said that. He blew her a kiss over the phone. “Ngo oi ney.” “Love you, too,” she replied. He waited until she hung up before he dropped his phone back into the cradle. No matter how many times he told her what he did for a living, she always forgot. He didn’t mind though, he loved her too much to care about such petty things. He called his mother regularly since she was still in China. He actually didn’t quite call her—he would call a friend of his, ask the young man get his mother or both his parents and bring them back to where the phone was. Then he would call back in one hour to speak to his parents. At the end of each month, he would send the man money in payment for what he did. His mother had refused the cell phone he offered to get them. Sometimes her wanting to be so ancient worried him and angered him. The cell phone would have settled his nerves, but then again his parents did not have electricity where they lived. They still used oil lamps at nights, washed clothes 31

Kadian Tracey in the river and boiled the river water for drinking. He wanted to make certain both her and his father were well taken care of, but they weren’t making it easy for him. Dao left his office with his papers and a smile on his face. He walked into the meeting room to find that his associates were already there. He greeted them with a smile before taking his seat. “Alright.” He opened the file before him and peered in. “Let’s do this. First let’s deal with the Hoboken situation. Do we have a representative down there? We need that group under Red Dragon and with how amazing they are, we have to move fast.” “Amber is heading down there as we speak,” someone called from the far end. “She should get there in the next few hours—oh and she took the contracts with her.” “Good. Keep me updated.” The meeting dragged on. For the most part they were trying to get him to send one of their singers on a world tour. He was talented, but the kid rubbed Dao the wrong way. Even without that, Dao knew that Prodigy—the singer- was an international incident waiting to happen. No matter what the kid put his hands on—except music—turned to hell in a hand basket and he was costing Red Dragon way too much money. 32

A Lover’s Wish “He’s not going on tour,” Dao put his foot down. “This kid is nothing but trouble. The last time I sent him out, he started a fight with a minor and left us holding a lawsuit. I’m not even going to start with the other stunts he has pulled. Until he can prove to me that he knows how to behave himself and how to represent this company in a respectable light, he stays in the studios.” Most of the others weren’t pleased, but Dao couldn’t say he cared. He had a business to run and couldn’t very well do that when he was busy doling out money for different lawsuits. “How is he going to make money if he doesn’t go on tour?” one person asked. “Promote his album and Red Dragon?” “He is making money from his albums,” Dao pointed out. “He will earn more once he learns to behave himself. This is a business, and as much as I know people would pay big bucks to see him, those big bucks won’t help Red Dragon if we have to pay that money out to the next person he decided talks too much and deserves a fist to the face.” Dao turned to Prodigy’s manager. “Put him on probation. Prove to me he’s changed.” “We can always take him somewhere else,” the man huffed. Why do they always do this? “You have a contract with Red Dragon and if you breach that I 33

Kadian Tracey wouldn’t hesitate to make you both pay. But aside from that, you could try taking him somewhere else, but don’t kid yourself in thinking someone would pick him up after we release him. Do you want to know why? No other company is going to put up with half the crap we put up with. Now we can sit here arguing about this all day or you can talk to your client.” That silenced Prodigy’s manager and Dao turned to see the next person who wanted to get on his bad side. When no one spoke, Dao opened a second folder and pulled out a contract. He sailed it across the table. “Jackson, that contract is for Bai. Have her agent and lawyers read it over and if everything is good, sign it and drop it off to Beth-Ann.” With the meeting finally out of the way, Dao walked out to the front and leaned heavily against the counter. He suddenly felt like he had the world on his shoulders. He was extremely tired. His secretary, Beth-Ann, stood and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Over the past few years that she had been there, the two had become friends. He could depend on her to have his back and that was something he didn’t find much in anyone except his best friend, Claude. “They still trying to get you to tour Prod?” Beth-Ann handed him a cup of steaming coffee. 34

A Lover’s Wish Dao took a sip. “Yah. That kid is a walking disaster. It seems that every time we let him loose, he causes some kind issue. It has gotten to the point where every time the phone rings, I wonder what he did this time and how much it was going to cost me! I mean he has so much potential, but if they keep pushing me on touring him, I’m going to rip up his contract. There’s only so much I can take.” The telephone rang and Beth-Ann answered it. Dao watched her eyes change from anger to worry. She covered the mouthpiece with a hand. “Go into your office and turn on the television. Put it on MTV.” Oh no! Prodigy! Dao didn’t argue. He darted into his office, flipped on the television and turned to the channel Beth-Ann had told him. He was just in time to catch a slow motion replay of Prodigy, undoing his pants, turning around and fully mooning the MTV camera and audience. “I’ll kill him,” Dao growled. “Dao?” it was Beth-Ann behind him. “Breathe.” “Breathe? We just went through this!” “I know but—” “See? This is exactly what I was talking about!” Dao was fuming. He banged his fist into the desk angrily. His head began throbbing lightly as rage surged through him. He could not believe it. The 35

Kadian Tracey kid was going to single handily bring down the Red Dragon Label and he would be damned if he allowed that to happen. “Find his contract for me, then get Mark and Prodigy over here, now.” He heard Beth-Ann’s feet leave the office and Dao flipped off the television as they were replaying the scene over and over—each time they played it slower and slower. He flopped down into his seat and buried his face in his hands. He loved giving people second chances because he thought some people could change to do better. But Prodigy was cut from a different cloth—he had gotten a second chance, a third chance and a fourth chance. The kid had to go there was no way around it. There were so many other singers out there that would kill for a chance to have Dao listen to their demo. Everything had come easy for Prodigy, for Dao knew about him through the kid’s father. But there was a time for loyalty and a time for good business sense. For the rest of the day, Dao could think of nothing else. His anger hadn’t subsided either. He was angrier at himself than at Prodigy then. He was mad because he had allowed himself to be suckered in by everything that has been said after each incident. He began wondering what was taking them so long to get Mark and his client in.

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A Lover’s Wish It was almost time to call it quits for the day when a knock came at the door and Mark stuck his head in. Dao motioned for him to come in. Behind Mark was Prodigy and behind him was Beth-Ann. They all sat down and Dao grinded his teeth before he began speaking. “I’m a very patient man,” Dao spoke softly. “But for the past two years, you’ve been a royal pain in my ass.” He eyed Prodigy who was lounging in his chair. “Sit up!” Dao thundered. Maybe it was the anger in his voice or something else, but the young singer flew upward into his seat. “You’ve only been here for two years and already you’ve cost us one point two million dollars in lawsuits and damages to public property. Do you understand how many people would kill to have what you have? Are you that dense that you don’t see what you have here and why you should do everything in your power to protect it? I’ve given you chance after chance and you keep racking up the bills! Do you know what your skinny ass on television is going to do to us? We have reputation to uphold.” Dao stopped to breathe before he turned to Beth-Ann. She handed him Prodigy’s contract and Dao ripped the papers in half. “You’ve just violated your contract one too many times. You no 37

Kadian Tracey longer belong to Red Dragon. My lawyers will contact you. Now get out.” “Come on, Dao,” Mark pleaded. “This will end his career!” “Well, ask me if I care. He should have thought about that before he decided to give the world a view of his backside. Beth-Ann, call security.” “You can’t do this!” the young singer flew out of his seat. “We have a contract.” “How appropriate! Now you are acknowledging the contract? What did the contract say about representing Red Dragon? Answer me!” The kid didn’t speak. “You are nineteen years old and you have no respect for anything or anyone!” Dao snapped. “You have caused us to lose more money than you brought us. Every time we let you out in public, you cause one havoc after another, then you leave us to clean up your mess. Like I said before, I am a very patient man, Prodigy, but enough is enough. Now, you need to leave or I will personally throw you out. And trust me, it is a very long drop from this floor.” That cleared the room. Dao’s temples were throbbing. It was as if someone was playing a set of drums inside his head. He checked his email one last time to some bad news. His personal assistant had quit. With a 38

A Lover’s Wish shake of his head, he slammed the laptop shut, shoved it into his bag and left the office. “I can’t stand this crap,” he muttered angrily. At home, he took a small nap. When he woke up and remembered all he had gone through that day, the slight pounding came back. With a moan, he decided to try and get some work done and not wait for the morning. The first order of business was to find a way of getting a new personal assistant as soon as possible. But when midnight rolled around, Dao Zhi still sat before his computer typing out a mass email. No matter how many times he changed the wording, he was still not satisfied with it. He tried typing it all out in Chinese, then translating it to English, but that had been a major mistake. He had to get it perfect or close to it because it would be an ad to the newspapers where everyone would see it. It had been a rather trying few weeks and the day before had been the one sent forth to challenge him. At the last minute, he got an idea and added a slew of email addresses from people who had applied for work with Red Dragon before. They hadn’t gotten a job, but their resumes had interested him. When he finally hit send, he pressed back against the seat, arched his back and 39

Kadian Tracey moaned as his spine seemed to snap back into place. He purred at the delicious feelings vibrating through him as he closed his laptop and climbed the stairs from the den to his bedroom. He crawled into bed and just as he began pulling the sheets to his waist, it started raining. Lightning lit up his room followed quickly by thunder and he knew it was going to be a bad one. Thankfully, he had parked in his driveway. That meant his vehicle would be clean the next morning. Grinning, he turned to set his alarm clock, then rolled over to face the wall. With his window open, Dao’s mind drifted back to when he was a child and it rained in Xingping, China. He would always want to go floating on his raft down the Li River, but his parents would not allow him. They always told him, do not anger the river while she feeds. That made absolutely no sense to him then and it was even more confusing as an adult. Maybe they meant for him not to tempt fate—who knew with his parents? They meant well. Back then, he would grin it off and rushed out the door to play in the rain. There was something magical about feeling the raindrops fall gently against his skin. He loved feeling the cool water soaking through his hair and his clothes. The wet mud seeping between his toes was utter pleasure 40

A Lover’s Wish and watching the fog that the rain brought over the Limestone Mountains was breathtaking. He may have only been a child, but he loved every second of it. Every breath of air had a sweet tinge of magic to it. Sometimes, in the morning, he would sit on a large rock behind his house. He would close his eyes and did nothing but inhale. But in order to make a life for himself, he had to leave China. He had to leave and would have taken his parents with him had they wanted to leave. He did not feel as though he could remain where he had grown up. It was as though he was forced to fly a plane, blindfolded and with his hands tied behind his back. But the small place was so utterly breathtaking, especially when it rained. “Dao, I cannot leave, Xingping,” his mother had pleaded. “I was born here, met your father here. I grew up here, had you here and with that saying, I will die here. It is peaceful. You have to understand that I love peace.” Dao smiled in the darkness of his room, “I know, Mou Chan,” he whispered just as his eyes slipped shut. “I know.” It had stormed all night. Each time the storm got bad, the thunder would rumble throughout Scarborough and this caused Dao to jerk upright in bed. He hated the storm—the light rain he 41

Kadian Tracey would rather have because he could play in it. Whenever he was a child and it stormed, he would toss and turn in his sleep. He would also cry out so terrifyingly that his mother would wake him up, make him some tea and sit with him until the storm was over. He was so used to having someone with him that each time it stormed, Dao felt alone. Each time he woke up, it took longer to fall asleep again until finally he gave up. By the time morning finally came, Dao had long since been awake, carrying out his morning routine. It had finally stopped raining. When the sun was fully up, Dao moved his body into the Closing Form of his Tia Chi form. Inhaling, he pressed his arms, straight down at his side and bowed deeply to the rising sun. For him, Tai Chi calmed him and kept him grounded through his day. That did not mean that Dao didn’t get angry, far from it. But with Tai Chi, he felt more in control of his days and what happened around him. Sweat was leaking from his body by this time and when he stood straight again, he turned and walked back through the backdoor of his home. Grabbing the towel that he had tossed over the back of a chair, he picked up the Blackberry from the counter and rushed up the stairs. He scrolled into his email and replied to a few of them. By the 42

A Lover’s Wish time he looked up at the clock and glanced back at the screen, he already had seven interviews for that day. A sound left his throat as he hated interviewing. His day from hell had officially begun. His last personal assistant had quit the day before, leaving him high and dry. He tried not to be angry, but could not help it. As he climbed the stairs, he scanned through the electronic day planner and added his long list of interviews. Frowning, he placed the Berry down against his night table, dropped the towel to the floor and entered the bathroom. Dao Zhi’s clothing line and record label were booming and having the person who was supposed to back him up just quitting at the last minute was not something he wanted to go through again. He thought about making it a part of the contract with the next personal assistant he hired that they must give him two weeks notice before quitting. He knew that sending out a mass email and an emergency ad in newspapers were going to just give the deadbeats access to him, but he was desperate. Lifting his face to the water, he rubbed his hands over his abs, but did not have time to enjoy the coolness of the water over his skin. If he didn’t hurry, he would not have time to get any settling in done once he got to the office. He loved going 43

Kadian Tracey into the office earlier than everyone else and just sit there in the silence until the day began. His days consisted of one meeting after another, calls from abroad, calls from within Canada. Clients freaking out, singers throwing tantrums, contract mishaps—it was one drama after another and Dao wouldn’t have it any other way. Smirking, he stepped from the tub and wrapped a towel around his waist. Glancing at his face in the mirror, he decided to go against shaving. The truth was, he would rather light his pants on fire than shave, but that was being dramatic. He dumped some aftershave into his palm, rubbed them together, then wiped it against his cheeks and neck. It had taken a bit, but he was finally dressed in a designer suit and was rushing down the stairs again. He was halfway down when he remembered his Blackberry. He made a second trip and realized that he had left his cell phone as well. Grabbing them and ensuring he wasn’t forgetting anything else, Dao turned down the stairs again. He was dumping his things into the passenger side seat when a voice called. “Morning, Mr. Zhi!” Dao smiled and turned to wave at the paperboy. Seeing the kid meant that Dao was on time and hadn’t managed to shoot his schedule to Hades just yet. Reaching a hand out, he caught the 44

A Lover’s Wish paper before it fell. “Thanks, Danny!” He climbed into his luxury car. With that, he was on his way, speeding through the streets of Scarborough, heading toward downtown Toronto. The traffic was brutal. It was as if everyone had decided to leave their home at the exact same time. He had a thought to try the 407 highway since it was a tolled route, but knew that others must have had the same idea—that route wouldn’t be any better. Dao knew that most of the motorists probably thought that if they left early, they could beat the traffic. And low and behold, everyone else had that exact idea. Inhaling deeply, he tapped his fingers against his steering wheel as he waited in traffic. Just like he had every other morning, he wondered why he had taken the Gardiner Expressway. Reaching forward, he pressed on the radio, trying to see if he could probably get another route to work, but there was nothing. In his frustration, he turned the radio off again just as his cell phone began ringing. “Zhi,” he spoke into the headpiece. “Erm, good morning,” the female voice sounded nervous, shy even. “I’m calling about the ad in my email seeking a personal assistant?” Had he really forwarded all his calls to his cell phone? When had he done that—why had he done that? “Yes,” Dao pulled his mind from his confusion. 45

Kadian Tracey “Is it for real?” Dao smiled. He got that question every time he sent out a call for application for an open position. “Yes it is.” “I would like to schedule an appointment for an interview. Is that possible?” “It sure is. What is your name?” “Kianna Sanderson.” “Are you available today, Ms. Sanderson?” “Yes I am.” “What time could you come in?” There was a slight pause, sounds of paper moving around, then a reply, “Three o’clock?” “That would work perfectly, Ms. Sanderson. Do you have our address?” That was a dumb question since any one who was anyone knew where the Red Dragon building was. “Yes, I do.” “Very well, I will see you at three o ‘clock.” He waited for her to hang up first before he did. Long after the conversation ended and he was walking into his office, he thought about that voice on the telephone. He could tell a lot from a person by the sound of their voice and with Ms. Sanderson, he wasn’t sure she could be anyone’s personal assistant. She sounded scared, unsure of herself. Pushing some air out his mouth, he flipped on the coffeemaker in his office and walked out to greet his secretary. 46

A Lover’s Wish “Good morning, thank you for calling Red Dragon Records, how may I help you?” her voice sang. He smiled. It was too early to be that cheerful, but he did give her some credit for trying. Leaning against the counter, he waited until she finished speaking on the phone before talking to her. “Debbie quit yesterday. I had the newspapers run an ad for me plus applicants from the time I hired Debbie and so far I have eight interviews for today.” “Eight?” Beth-Ann’s eyes bulged. “In one night?” “Some of the people are on our mailing list from applying for some kind of work here previously. I had sent out a mass email before I went to bed last night.” “I’m just sayin’,” Beth-Ann stood to grab some papers from a counter behind her and walked back. “Eight is cutting it kinda close. You want to make sure the next one won’t flake like Debbie. I don’t understand her. She was supposed to give you two weeks notice.” “Some people don’t believe that applies to them,” Dao grinned. “My first appointment should be here soon. And, erm, Beth—” “Yeah, boss?”

47

Kadian Tracey “Have Denton add that two weeks notice is non-negotiable to the contract. I don’t want to deal with this mess again.” “Got it, boss.” By the time three o’clock rolled around, Dao was getting more and more unmotivated to find a new personal assistant. He had gone through seven interviews and none of them would be good enough. The females were scantily dressed and were wearing enough makeup to choke a cow and the two male possibilities both had demos in their back pockets that they wanted him to listen to. Frowning, he drained his fifteenth cup of coffee, popped a mint into his mouth and pressed the red button on his phone. “Yes, Mr. Zhi?” “Please send in Ms. Sanderson.” She couldn’t be any better than the last few he had seen that day, but he only had to sit through one more. It was so hard for him to sit there and pretend like he gave a damn about what they were saying. All through it, he wanted to ask them if they were dropped on the head as a child. He remained polite. He was rubbing his eyes when the distinct clicks of female shoes were heard against the ground. They stopped at his door and he looked up. He stood with a smile and extended a hand to 48

A Lover’s Wish her. Instantly, she stepped forward and took his hand. “Good afternoon,” she greeted professionally. The first thing he did was give her the look over. She was dressed appropriately for the job she was being interviewed for. That to Dao was like a breath of fresh air washing over him and he inhaled deeply while walking to close the door. She wore a business suit, black pants and jacket with a pale pink top just barely peeking out from beneath. He found himself drinking in the way the pink blended perfectly with her dark, ebony skin. She wore neither earrings, nor necklace and there was a faint scent of Jasmine as he passed her. “Hello.” Dao took his seat once more and stapled his fingers. “Did you find the place alright?” “Yes.” She smiled again and a ray of sunlight flowed over the room. “It is kinda hard to miss.” He knew she was referring to the red dragon statue at the front of the building. The dragon was wound around a sword. Dao loved the design. It wasn’t big enough to be overpowering and look as though they were trying too hard. The statue was just the right size to show what was inside the building. Dao decided to test her. Though he already had her resume in his file before him, he cleared his throat and asked, “May I see your resume?” To his surprise, she was prepared and filed through the 49

Kadian Tracey folder in her hands, then held a copy of her resume out to him. “Thank you.” He began reading through it. It seemed she had a number of experiences. Though none of them had anything to do with being a personal assistant, he wondered why she was still on his list. Knowing that she can work with the public came in very handy and endeared her toward him a little more—maybe that was why he had kept her email. “It says here you have a diploma in Office Administration? What exactly does that entail?” “Well, simply put, I’m a glorified secretary,” she replied in a polite voice. Dao nodded in appreciation for her simplicity. He had a long day and the last thing he wanted was to have another long, knock-down-draggedout session. Reading again, he placed the resume down and looked her square in the eyes. “Are you looking for a record deal?” He watched as her eyes changed from smilingly nervous to fiery. He arched his brow, curious to see what she was going to say—if he had read her right. “Look, Mr. Zhi. The truth is, I have a mortgage, car payments, bills, I need a job that will allow me to handle all of those,” she paused. “And besides, the last thing anyone wants me to do is sing.” Studying her carefully, he laughed, “You cannot be that bad.” 50

A Lover’s Wish “Trust me, Mr. Zhi, I’m the worse. I don’t even sing in the shower, I hum.” He leant back in the overstuffed chair and chuckled. “Anyone you know want a deal?” “No. I don’t really have much time to hang with anyone but my girl, Jace. And between you and me, we don’t want to hear her sing either.” Dao found himself smiling more than he had in the last week. There was something wonderfully, liberating about being around her, something strangely depressing about seeing her eyes fall into sadness. He couldn’t remember the last time he met a woman like her. She was straightforward, nervous about the interview, but relaxed with her answers. He knew she was nervous from the way she had wiped her palms onto the thighs of her pants before she shook his hand. Also by the way she sat in the seat, at the edge with her back straight and neck held high. She probably didn’t even realize she was doing all those. Dao had learnt over the years to gauge people’s reactions, their small idiosyncrasies and come to a decision about their personalities. Her words were well pronounced like a woman that had been well educated, but he could still pick up a small hint of an accent. “The reason I asked those questions is—”

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Kadian Tracey “It’s perfectly alright. I suspect everyone out there has a talent and you’re the man to make them stars.” Dao nodded as he reached across his desk to pick up a blue folder. “I tell you what, Ms. Sanderson,” Dao stood and extended the folder to her. “You’ve got yourself a job then. Take this out and give it to Beth-Ann, the secretary. If you want the job, there are some papers you need to fill out.” She squealed happily before pressing her palm against her lips to stifle her excitement. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. It’s just—I don’t think you understand what you have just given me.” “I’m happy you’re happy,” Dao spoke softly. He almost reluctantly released the papers when she took the folder from his hand. “Thank you!” “You’re very welcome. Come and see me once you’re finished with the paperwork.” “I will!” He watched her almost dart out the door. Standing there with a smile on his lips, he almost burst out laughing when she skidded to a stop, turned around and returned to close his door. When the door closed, he laughed and slumped back into his seat. There was such beauty in laughing freely. She had the kind of laughter that had no strings or hatred behind it. It was alluring. 52

A Lover’s Wish If it was one thing he knew, working with Ms. Kianna Sanderson was not going to be boring in the least.

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Chapter Three was so excited that after she finished Kianna signing the paperwork, she found out where the

restroom was and excused herself. Her knees were shaking, but she managed to make her way to the restroom and stopped before the mirror. She clenched her fist and let out a stifled squeal. She followed that up by flailing her arms happily, ran around in a giddy circle and stopped once more before the mirror. Jace was not going to believe what had just happened. The realization hit her like a brick. Kianna had a job at Red Dragon. It was such a coveted position and she had managed to snag it without any experience at all. There was going to be so many people that would be jealous of her, but she didn’t care—she couldn’t. If she was going to afford her trip in her lifetime, she had to hold on to this new job. She had to make sure she kept her temper in check, not show how truly depressed she was or that she has no friends aside 54

A Lover’s Wish from one. She had to act as if she was a part of their world and get her job done. She inhaled deeply before wetting her hands beneath the cold tap. She brushed the cool palms against her heated cheeks. She reeled a paper towel from the holder and patted her face dry, then dropped it into the bin. After applying a fresh coat of lip gloss, straightening her hair and clothes, Kianna exited the restroom and knocked softly against Dao’s door. “Come in,” the voice called. She entered. He was on the telephone with someone. She felt out of place, not knowing what to do. Kianna clutched her purse before her and used that moment to peer around the office. It was a beautiful office. She had been so scared before that she hadn’t noticed any of it. It was very different from the one at the funeral home. There were two leather seats across from his desk where she had sat for her interview. Behind those, was a large, leather sofa that looked overly comfortable. The room was perfectly lit because of the ground to ceiling windows that were the outer walls. There was a beautiful potted bamboo plant in the far corner. On his desk was the picture of an older couple, she assumed were his parents. There was a picture of a banyan tree and that brought a smirk to her lips. It was of a beautiful Banyan tree and she wondered if it was of the Big Banyan. 55

Kadian Tracey There were so many stories about that tree— stories that left her smiling and hopeful every time she read them. “Ms. Sanderson,” he spoke, pulling her from her musings. “Please have a seat at the desk.” She followed where his finger pointed to see there was another door. Kianna hadn’t realized that before. How had she missed that during her second go around? Maybe it was because she was too busy wondering about the age of the women Dao Zhi loved to have in his arms. She nodded and walked through the door. This room was even better. The view from so high up was absolutely breathtaking. Standing at the large windows, she looked around for as far as her eyes could see. She could see above some of the skyscrapers and far out in the horizon was Lake Ontario. She inhaled deeply as if she could smell the fresh air from the water. The clicking of the door closing drew her to turn around and she smiled shyly. She took a seat, crossed her legs beneath the table, then waited to see what the meeting was all about. “First,” Dao spoke. “Welcome to Red Dragon. I feel I should give you a quick rundown of what your job entails. When working for me, the job descriptions tend to be a tad different from anyone else. Your job is a very, involved one. The only 56

A Lover’s Wish two people that work directly with me almost one hundred percent of the time are you and BethAnn. Beth is my wall through the phones and emails. You, my dear, will be privileged to a lot of important information, my house, my car…” “Your house?” Kianna interrupted. “Yes. My house. I don’t always work from the office,” he explained. “Does that make you uncomfortable?” “Erm—honestly?” “Always.” “I don’t know. I’ve never had to go to someone’s house for work before. But I’ll handle it.” The meeting turned into a personal Dao Zhi tour of the building from the first floor back up to the twenty-eighth. She found out where supplies were kept, how to order supplies though she never had to—that was Beth-Ann’s job. She was introduced to some of Dao’s international stars and she found that most of them weren’t as vain as she thought they would be. It was all around a great day and after a few hours, she left Red Dragon to go home and rest up for the next day. On her drive home, she began thinking of Dao. She was used to being around all cultures, but the Chinese had always intrigued her. She loved their colour superstitions, foods— everything. But Dao Zhi was so much different 57

Kadian Tracey than she had expected. He was tall, with a body that she could tell was rather sleek and muscular beneath those designer clothes. He had gorgeous brown eyes, neatly cut dark hair and a smile that could put the moon to shame. What are you doing, Kiki? Even as she left that evening for home, she was still giddy with her crush on her boss. That was never a good thing. While she waited at the traffic light, Kianna literally shook herself and reached for the stereo. But excitement still pumped through her veins. Instead of going home, she pulled up at Jace’s house and knocked at the door. Jace pulled the door open. “Kiki? You alright? Why are you grinning so much?” “I got a job,” Kianna explained before reaching in to press a quick kiss to her friend’s cheek. The two women walked into the house and closed the door. Both ladies sat in the kitchen around a plate of nachos and began speaking. “Oh no the girl’s a stripper!” Jace cried dramatically. Kianna fell into fits of laughter. “Come on, Jace,” she laughed harder. “Ain’t nobody wants to see me naked, much less pay for it. Come to think of it, I think they would pay me to keep my clothes on.” “So explain,” Jace pleaded. 58

A Lover’s Wish “Well remember a few months ago I stepped out of my box and applied for a job at Red Dragon?” “The job you didn’t get.” “Uh-huh. Well last night I got an email from Dao Zhi himself saying he had a personal assistant spot open at Red Dragon. So this morning, I called him and asked if it was for real and when he told me it was, I was so shocked, I almost dropped the phone. So anyway, he asked if I could come in for an interview and of course I dove at it. I mean, come on! It’s Red Dragon! I would have taken a janitor’s job there if I had to. Guess who’s the new PA for Dao Zhi!” Jace squealed and hugged her friend. “Oh my lord! You!” Kianna nodded as they laughed. “Oh yah! I’ll be his personal assistant. Apparently, where he goes, I go—sorta like a tail. And the best part is, I’m going to be making way more than I ever made so I may still have my trip after all!” Kianna began flailing happily because it was as though the true value of it all was just seeping into her. “Don’t you see?” Jace questioned soberly. “This means that because he’s into mostly Asian music and you’re his personal assistant that you travel with him.” That, Kianna hadn’t thought about. She was so happy at that moment, so absolutely overjoyed 59

Kadian Tracey that she fell into silence. She was rendered speechless. She looked at Jace and shook her head with tears welling up into her eyes. “This is good for me, Jace. But there’s just one thing.” “What’s that?” “I don’t want to screw this up,” Kianna confessed. “I mean he’s going to give me a cell phone that leads directly to him so he can call me when he needs me. That means I’m on call and you know me and my temper. I’m afraid that at one of the times he calls, I’ll tell him to go screw himself and hang up.” Jace started laughing. Kianna was so confused that she tilted her head to one side like a child who couldn’t figure out how something worked. “What? It’s not funny because we both know it could happen!” “This job means too much to you, Kiki,” Jace admitted. “You’ll never do that until you can find something better. And where are you going to find something better than being Dao Zhi’s personal assistant?” Kianna nodded. “All your life, Kianna, you’ve put everyone else ahead of you,” Jace explained. “I mean, you’ve worked ever since you were sixteen just so you could afford to go to China. You’ve always been obsessed with the culture and what did you do? Because your parents were irresponsible, you had 60

A Lover’s Wish to give up that dream to pay for their funeral— and not just any old funeral. You went all out for those two.” “Jace…” “No. There’s no other word other than irresponsible. But here’s what I’m going to do. If I ever see you getting cranky or irritated with this job before you’re able to save enough, I’m going to remind you that this is for something you’ve always wanted.” Kianna smiled. “Thanks baby girl.” “Good, now we have to celebrate. I have ice cream and cheesecake in the fridge, what’s your poison?” Kianna purred, “Both! Now, stop holding out! Gimme!” **** The moment Dao placed his head against the pillow, the dream came back. The last time he dated an African American woman, she had left him and took his heart. Yet he had tender thoughts for Kianna Sanderson. It was too early to even have those kinds of thoughts. She hadn’t dressed provocatively or even tried to give him a peek of her breasts. All she did was dress in a way to leave sexual views to the imagination. Dao’s mind had taken that and ran with it. He rolled 61

Kadian Tracey over on the bed and snuggled into his pillows. His eyes drifted shut again and the dream returned. Dao gave Mishawn’s hand one last kiss before taking a deep breath. She kissed his lips and he smiled at her. It was all he could do to hide the butterflies that danced in his stomach. He had to be strong because he couldn’t let these people believe he was no good for their daughter. In his culture, if the man showed weakness, he was dubbed not fit for his fiancée. He had to show that he was man enough to protect her and hold her above all else. The exact wrong thing to do at that moment was wimp out at the last minute. That would not be the way to win their hearts. Dao Zhi licked his suddenly dry lips, adjusted his tie and nodded. “Are you ready?” Mishawn asked him. Dao nodded. “As ready as I’ll ever be.” Together, they stepped through the door. No one moved. It was as though someone had just set off a bomb in the room and there was nothing but deathly silence after the initial shock. The older woman, who Dao assumed was Mishawn’s mother, had her mouth hanging open. The man, he assumed was her father, had his arms crossed over his chest as though he was ready to deck someone. A younger man stood off to the side, shaking his head from side to side slowly and Dao knew what was coming. But he wasn’t worried. Mishawn was to be his wife and she would be by his side and have his back. He pushed a smile to his lips even though he didn’t feel like it, but couldn’t be rude. 62

A Lover’s Wish “Mom, dad, please meet Dao,” Mishawn spoke in a voice that Dao didn’t recognize. “No,” her mother began speaking while shaking her head. “I knew his last name was Zhi, but dang! I am not having any chinks in my family.” Dao was shocked. His eyes widened and he looked over at Mishawn to see what she was going to say. But her hand slipped from his. His heart almost stopped. “I hear that,” the father spoke up. “You are not marrying my daughter.” “You’re not going to say anything,” Dao spoke rather than question. He could not believe what he was experiencing. He had tried his best to be what they wanted for their daughter and here they were calling him a chink? He had tried holding onto his temper, but her betrayal had completely caught him off guard. As he spoke to her, she backed away from him, moving to her mother’s side. He licked his suddenly dry lips while nodding needlessly. The shock was wearing off and reality seeped in on him like an ungodly plague. “A chink?” he turned to Mishawn’s mother. “You called me a Chink. See? That’s the issue with you. You are ignorant.” Dao turned to Mishawn and shook his head in disappointment. “I have never asked you for anything, but your heart. I never once pushed you to do anything you didn’t want to do. You asked me to wait for sex until we are married and I did. I’ve waited for three and a half years. I’ve remained faithful to you, being by 63

Kadian Tracey your side even when these morons were driving you to the edge.” “Hey!” someone yelled from the room. Dao continued, undeterred. “I have never once given you a reason to doubt my honour and my sincerity. My parents have done nothing but love you and respect you. In a way, I am happy this happened, because now I see the kind of wife you will be. A dishonourable one. Keep the ring, pawn it for all I care…” Then he stalked from the room before he said something he really regretted. It was something so horrible that not even he could think of it as he climbed into the front seat of his luxury sports car and sped off down the street. First thing the next morning, Dao was in his office. He thought he would have been the first person there, but to his pleasant shock, Kianna was already there. She was sitting in his office, with a day planner open on his desk, a note pad and pen while reading through the employee handbook. He stood at the door, watching her, and wondered why such a woman wanted a job like this one. She looked strong, proud, beautiful and deserved so much more. That thought was venturing into dangerous territory again for him so he cleared his throat. The sound caused her to jerk around. Dao instantly felt like a jerk. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” “It’s okay,” she spoke. 64

A Lover’s Wish Then came that smile that he was rapidly growing addicted to each time she gave it to him. He smiled and sat across from her. “You start working at nine,” he spoke, shrugging out of his jacket. He tossed it with practiced ease and watched it land on the coat hook. “I know. I just wanted to get some reading done before you came in,” Kianna replied. “BethAnn gave me the employee handbooks and stuff. It’s quiet here and at home—well, let’s just say my neighbours believe everyone is a fan of Limp Biscuit.” “What now?” “It’s a band…” “I know. It just boggles the mind. I still can’t believe there’s a band called Limp Biscuit.” She laughed. “Me either. I guess it is better than naming the band Fly By The Seat Of Our Pants. And besides, in this day and age there are pills for that sort of thing.” Dao chuckled at that. He was better at Asian artists rather than the English ones. But even then, he had heard about the band. They had a few hits that he liked, but other than that, he wasn’t a fan. Shaking his head, he picked up a Blackberry and handed it to her. “This is yours.” “It’s not my birthday!” She smirked. He chuckled. “I’m playing. Thank you.” 65

Kadian Tracey Dao smirked. “Well, it’s only a Blackberry. I would have to assume the man in your life would get you something that’s worth a little bit more than a piece of technology.” She looked away form him then and he knew she was blushing. He didn’t have to be told. He stood with a smile, walked over to the window and stared out. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at the traffic below him. They were so small. “Right now, I have a new prospective rapper coming in to see me. He raps in both English and Korean and from what I heard, he’s really good.” “I thought the great Dao Zhi didn’t want good. He wanted great.” Dao chuckled. “You thought right. But still. If he’s half as good as they say he is, then we have a new star on our hands and after the last fiasco, we need some fresh blood around here.” He was excited about the new prospect. It was about time he brought in some fresh blood. He didn’t have time to muse for his phone began ringing. He reached over and hit the flashing button. “Dao, there’s a long distant call for you on line one—I think it’s your mother.” “My mother,” he muttered. “I’ll wait out there to give you some privacy,” Kianna pointed over her shoulder while getting up. 66

A Lover’s Wish “Thanks,” Dao spoke. His voice was soft for he was truly confused as to why his mother was calling him. Normally, he would call her because he could afford the charges. He would call her every other day just to keep up and because they were so much older, he wanted to make sure they were alright. He wasn’t due to call them until the next day. Something was wrong. Lifting the phone to his ear, he flopped down in the chair. ”Mah ma,” he greeted. She began rambling in rapid Cantonese. She was speaking so fast, it made his head spin. “Mah ma!” he called in Cantonese. “Slow down. Now, what happened?” She stopped speaking, then began again. When she was finished, Dao was on his feet calling for Kianna and speaking instructions into the phone, “Keep him as comfortable as you can. I’ll get on my way from here as soon as I can. Okay, don’t worry. I’ll be there—” By the time Kianna rushed through the door, he had gotten dishevelled and worried as he slammed the phone down. “Could you tell Beth-Ann to have my private jet fuelled and ready? And you need to pack.” “Pack?” She arched a brow. “What’s going on?” “We’re going on a trip.” **** 67

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Kianna wanted to ask where they were going, but there was a sadness in his eyes that just screamed urgent. She stood and ran out to deliver the message. It was only when she was halfway home that she realized that she hadn’t made a plan about if she was to lug her things back to the office or if he would be picking her up. Also, it wasn’t until she was at home that she noticed she had no idea where they were going. What was she going to pack? Should she pack tropical, winter? Barging in her door, Kianna shoved her blackberry into the waist of her pants and grabbed her cordless phone. She dialled Jace’s cell phone, tripped up the stairs and frowned. Not only was she in a mad rush, but thanks to her fall, her knees hurt. “Hello? Anyone there?” “Jace! It’s me,” Kianna moaned and struggled to haul her small suitcase out from below her bed. She chucked it on her bed and flipped it open. “Listen, I’m going out of town for a while.” “Erm…what?” “Well there’s an emergency in Dao’s family and he’s taking me with him,” she explained. “It just happened. I don’t know where we’re going. I just ran home to pack some stuff.” “I hope everything is alright,” Jace sounded worried. “But why are you going?” 68

A Lover’s Wish “Personal assistant, remember? I’m his tail, I go where he goes. But he didn’t look so good when he told me to go pack. I guess I’m overreacting—I hope I’m only overreacting.” “Alright. You finish packing. Gimme a call as soon as you find out where you’re going. And, Kiki, be safe.” Kianna stopped dropping folded clothes into her suitcase to promise that she would before hanging up and zipping her suitcase shut. Then she packed another bag. Soon she was hauling her suitcase down the stairs when the doorbell rang. She glanced at the clock and moaned. Who could it be now? And why did they have such horrible timing? “Coming!” she called. Grunting, she turned and shoved her suitcase and watched it tumble the rest of the way down the stairs. Thankfully, it didn’t fly open. She was sweaty and ruffled by the time she yanked the door open. “Mr. Zhi,” she called, shocked. “Erm, I was just going to head back to the office. Was I gone that long?” “No, I wanted to pick you up on the way to the airport.” His eyes were sad. She missed the spark that was in them the first time they had met. His body didn’t look as strong at it did before and she wanted to hold him, to be his strength. But he was her boss, she couldn’t do that. Biting her lower lip, 69

Kadian Tracey she gave him a small smile and moved to grab her suitcase. She was struggling to haul it to the door when his hand covered hers on the strap. A shiver sparked down her spine for his hands were warm and large over hers. Looking up, their eyes met and for a brief moment, Kianna could see them together. “Allow me,” his voice was low, husky and sexy. She yanked her hand away as though burnt and tried to smile. “Thank you.”

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Chapter Four had been a rush. To get to the airport Everything was one flurry of events as well as getting

checked in. He hated doing anything last minute, but it wasn’t like he had a choice. His mind went to his parents and he began worrying again. Through the rush he had forgotten what was happening—just going through the motions then. But as soon as things calmed down and Kianna was safely in her seatbelt, his mind gave up on him and began running a mile a minute. There were so many possibilities of what was happening to his father. He cursed their stubbornness at not leaving Xingping when he had asked. If they had, they would have been at the hospital already. He had tried calling his friend, but the phone was always busy each time he called. After a while, he gave up and focused on getting to his parents as quickly as he could. Knowing his father, the man wouldn’t have wanted to leave his home anyway. 71

Kadian Tracey Dao’s body was stiff, sitting against the leather seat in the private plane. He rested his elbow against the window and propped his chin up with his arm. The plane taxied down the runway and lifted into the air. He never liked flying, but when the plane lifted off from Pearson International Airport, Dao didn’t get that strange, queasy feeling he normally got. At that moment, he just felt numb and cold. He couldn’t feel anything else. That scared him because he wanted to feel something, anything at all. When the plane levelled off and the seatbelt sign pinged off, something caught his attention out of the corner of his eyes and he looked around. Kianna—he had been a horrible host to her. It was strange for she had been so quiet in the grand chaos of his mind that he had forgotten she was there. He was literally kidnapping her from her home, taking her across the world and he hadn’t even explained to her what was happening. To make matters worse, he had just sat there like a zombie while she was probably bored or hurting and confused. The ride over in the limo she had tried to get him to eat, but Dao wasn’t really hungry. She had then given him a protein shake from the limo’s fridge right after threatening to hook him up to an IV if he didn’t eat something. Feeling horrible, he had taken it and drank a couple of swallows 72

A Lover’s Wish before handing it back. The smile she had given him then caused him to take the can back and drain it. Just to see her smile. She had just shifted in her seat and that had caught his attention. If he had any doubts about hiring her before, they were gone when he saw the way she spoke to his flight attendants. She had stepped up to the plate and ordered that he have something light for lunch since she wasn’t sure when the last time was that he had eaten. Kelly, the stewardess agreed. As he sat there watching her read, a smile graced his eyes and he inhaled deeply. “I’m sorry,” he spoke. Her head snapped up from the book she was reading. “I should tell you what is happening and where we’re going.” “That would be nice.” She nodded and closed the book. “I did not want to add more stress to what you were going through.” “How do you know it is stressful?” “You all but kidnapped me.” She smirked. Dao nodded. “I deserved that.” “But seriously.” Kianna smiled. “I can see it in your eyes.” “The phone call I got earlier was from my parents. Well my mother at least. She never calls me. I always call her because it’s really expensive for her to call me and I don’t want her spending too much money because of a phone call. In order 73

Kadian Tracey for her to call, she has to travel on the Li River and I don’t like her doing that alone. She told me that my father had an accident and they don’t think he has much time.” “I’m sorry—” “Thank you. So we’re heading to Yangshuo. I know it’s a little bit out of your life, but I would really appreciate you with me so that I can still do a little business while I’m there.” He arched his brow for the look she was giving him was starting to scare him. Moving close to her, he knelt before her. She was shaking slightly, but her gaze didn’t leave his face. Dao was scared. “Kianna!” He took her hands. Her fingertips were freezing. Lifting her fingers to his lips, he blew against them before burying her smaller hands inside his. “Kianna? Speak to me.” “Yangshuo…” He was stunned because the way she said it was the exact same way a person from Yangshuo would pronounce it. The emphasis was on the right letters and he wondered how she knew to do that. She couldn’t have gotten it by him saying the word once. “Yes.” “Your parents live in Yangshuo—Xingping?” “Yes, to be exact.” “Your parents live in Xingping.”

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A Lover’s Wish “Kianna, you said that already. What’s wrong? I can let you go back to Toronto once we get to Hong Kong if you’d like.” “No.” She shook her head and looked down into his eyes. “I saved for years to go to China. Then there was a family emergency and I gave the money to help. I never thought I’d be able to save up enough to go because it’s so expensive to travel.” “Well now you are going.” He smiled. “I’m sorry that it’s under such dire circumstances, but you will get a chance to see some things while there.” “Thank you,” she whispered. “But we are going to China to make sure your parents are well—not for me to go on vacation.” Dao watched her. There was a strength in her voice and eyes that caused his heart to throb sweetly within his chest. He was still holding her hands. When she bowed her head and looked at where he held her, he let her go and moved back to his seat. But his gaze never left her, even after she went back to her book. Tilting his head, he glanced at the cover and blushed before turning to look out the window. She was reading one of those romance novels that his mother would read when he was younger. Even today, he would get them specially translated into Cantonese and 75

Kadian Tracey shipped to her. They would make her sound so happy. At that moment, Dao wondered what kind of men Kianna dated. Did she like them to touch her tenderly or roughly? Was she a romantic person? Turning his head, he looked at her and for that moment, his depression was gone. His gaze caressed her face—with the full lips, sad brown eyes, proud nose. While his gaze travelled down her neck, over full breasts and lower, his mind came to one conclusion—any man she dated was lucky. He said nothing. Dao took his pleasure from watching her read. From time to time, she would gasp and flip the page quickly. Other times, she would smile or giggle softly. “Our flight is fourteen hours, roughly,” he spoke. She looked up. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you, but would you like to talk? My brain is going too fast and I need to hear someone’s voice.” She smiled and closed her book. She stuck it beside her in the seat and crossed her legs. Dao bit back a moan. Nothing she did was overtly sexual, but just that alone—their simplicity turned him on more than he even thought was possibly. “What would you like to talk about?” 76

A Lover’s Wish “I don’t know. Tell me a little about yourself.” “There isn’t much to tell. I’m an only child now, both parents are gone. My brother was killed in a car accident when I was seventeen.” “I’m sorry.” “It’s alright, really,” she replied. “It happened over ten years ago.” “What do you like to do?” “Nothing lately. I haven’t had the urge to do much of anything. But before, I loved the theatre, reading, trying to learn different languages— geeky things like that.” She chuckled. “I told you there wasn’t much.” Dao nodded. “Thanks for the warning.” A smile was on his lips. “This may be none of my business and if it is, please tell me and I will respect your answer. Are you seeing anyone?” He watched as she looked away from him and reached for her book again. He assumed she didn’t want to talk about it so he nodded and looked back out the window. He had crossed the line, but for some reason he wanted her to look at him and answer to the negative. The thought of her being with another man angered him. He chuckled to himself before getting up and turning to leave the main area. “Mr. Zhi?” “It’s Dao—please.” “Dao—no I’m not seeing anyone.” 77

Kadian Tracey The relieved smile that swam over him shocked Dao. It was a good thing he wasn’t looking at her when she spoke for she would have seen it. “Where are you going?” “I was going to leave you to your book,” Dao replied. Wiping the smile from his face, he turned around to look at her. “I thought that was what you wanted. Did I think wrong?” “Yes,” her voice was soft and she stood. She walked toward him. Dao could not move away. He thought maybe she wanted to walk around him, but his feet wouldn’t move. Still, he stood in her path, but she didn’t try to get around him. Instead, she braced a palm against his chest, pushed up onto her tiptoes and brushed her lips gently against his. He growled and reached for her hair. He tangled his fingers in it, then pulled her lips roughly against his. When her lips spread for his tongue, he readily drank from her heat, sliding his tongue against hers and growling his satisfaction. He bit against her lower lip and pulled before sucking the pain away. He took her lips again, this time he conquered her, tasting, kneading, moulding their mouths together. When she finally pulled back, Dao was out of his mind with arousal, but let his hands fall away from her. “What—what was that for?” he questioned, pulling her lips back to his 78

A Lover’s Wish again. She tasted so good, his mouth watered. He was drunk with her scent. **** Kianna Sanderson had just done something completely out of her league. Kissing someone by just taking what she wanted was never something she would normally do, especially with her boss. But Dao’s lips were calling to her and she couldn’t resist. Inhaling deeply, she pulled way from him and stumbled into her seat again. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. Her body was still pulsating sweetly from the kiss. It was a short kiss, but it was the most wonderful kiss she’d ever experienced. It was so wrong, but it had caused her heart to hammer in her chest. All she had to do was behave herself and not maul her boss because she thought he was so sexy. Burying her face in her hands, Kianna inhaled deeply. “Kianna?” His voice was soft, husky. She didn’t look at him. How could she look him in the eyes after what she had just done? She felt his hands on her, trying to pull her hands away, but she fought him back. He was stronger, however, and her hands fell away. “What are you sorry about, Kianna?” his voice showed genuine concern. “We’re two consenting 79

Kadian Tracey adults. We shared a kiss—one that I thoroughly enjoyed. Why are you sorry?” Kianna couldn’t speak. The words that she wanted to put forth died in her throat. He had said he enjoyed her kiss and she knew then he was toying with her. He had to have been. How could he—Dao Zhi—have wanted a kiss from her? She rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Talk to me.” “It didn’t happen,” Kianna spoke strongly. “It never happened.” “Kianna I don’t—” “There’s nothing for you to understand!” Kianna interrupted too harshly. “It never happened.” “Alright,” Dao stood from where he had been kneeling before her. “The fact that we both just went out of control and had you not pulled back when you did, I would have gone too far—it never happened. If that is what you want.” “It is.” “Very well then…” Kianna felt sick to her stomach. She hung her head in shame and when she looked up to explain to him what had happened, Dao was gone. This situation was out of control because she didn’t want to get involved with another man. She has no idea what men are good for her and knew that Dao’s family would not accept her. How could 80

A Lover’s Wish they? She’s black, slightly overweight and had a temper. She loved to do for herself, on her own sometimes and in Asian cultures, it was all about the family. If you wanted to buy a car, it was a family decision. Kianna couldn’t live with that. She had her own rules to live, her own life and she couldn’t let some man and his family take that away. “Ugh,” she got out. “Ms. Sanderson,” the stewardess called. Kianna looked up and was surprised to see that the food cart was out. She smiled, not feeling really hungry, but they had made her the food and it would be sad to waste it. She thought back to what her mother would have said should she have all that food thrown out. “You know, Kiki,” her mother would have said softly. “There are millions of children in the world who would give their right hands for that food. Don’t waste it.” Kianna pressed her lips into a thin line and moaned. “Thank you,” she whispered with a nod as she was served. At that point, Dao came back and sat down. The stewardess served him a light snack at first and after he was finished that, she came back with heavier food. Kianna even went as far as having a half of a glass of wine. She was wound up tighter than a taut rubber band. The wine didn’t help so she frowned, cleaned up her own plates, then snuggled beneath a blanket and 81

Kadian Tracey stared out the window. It was extremely dark outside now. It surprised her that she was up higher and should be seeing stars, but there were none. Pulling out her book, she snuggled into the soft seat and began reading again. But she couldn’t concentrate. She kept on reading the same line over and over. All she could think of was Dao’s hard body that was pressed into hers. She had wrapped her curves around him. The kiss told her that he wasn’t weak—not by a long shot. He had taken control and given her such pleasure. He had dug his fingers into her hair and moaned when her tongue passed over his. No man had ever seemed to get quite as much enjoyment out of kissing her than Dao had. He had seemed almost dazed when the kiss ended. Sighing, she slammed the book shut. “You alright?” Dao’s voice came through her haze. “Fine,” she answered a little too sharply, but didn’t apologize. Kianna hit the button on the side of her seat, sending the back down into a recline position and pulled her blanket over her head.

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Chapter Five Hong Kong International airport was just like The Dao remembered it. It was like something from

a futuristic movie. The building alone was a work of architectural genius, but Dao would never admit that. His friend, Claude, would never let him live it down. The two had debated over it for years and Dao had always thought the money could have been used for something more important. Deep down, he knew the building was impressive. There were places to do some serious shopping and entertaining. Anything you wanted, it was there. Layover at that airport was never boring. They still had another leg to their flight from Hong Kong to Guilin and even then they would have to float the rest of the way. It was still dark and it wasn’t a long ride to their second destination. It would take a few hours for the jet to be refuelled, but he was still iffy on speaking to 83

Kadian Tracey Kianna. He wanted her to approach him about the issue on the plane first. “Kianna,” he spoke to her as she stared out the glass window at the planes. She jerked slightly, but turned to face him. He felt as though he had forced himself on her and it was a horrendous feeling. “I’ll stay away. But we have some decisions to make.” “I didn’t mean to kiss you,” Kianna spoke. He held up a hand to stop her. “It never happened, remember? Wasn’t that what you wanted? How can you be sorry for doing something that never happened?” Kianna nodded. “That’s what you wanted,” Dao whispered. He found his voice cracking with the feelings behind it. He was hurt that she did not want to remember his kiss. He could not have done it that horribly. He did not push the issue. “It’s dark out but it’s not a long flight to Guilin. I wanted to know if you wanted to spend the night at a hotel tonight and then start fresh in the morning. That way we won’t have to spend too much time in Guilin, but catch a boat directly to Xingping.” “But you want to get to your parents. We don’t have to stop. I can handle this.” He tilted his head to one side, impressed. But he couldn’t let that affect his decision. Inhaling deeply, he walked by her and stared out the 84

A Lover’s Wish windows. Nodding for no reason, he turned to face her. He pulled out his cell phone and paced away from her as he spoke into it. When he was finished, he walked to the counter to find out when his plane would be able to leave in the morning. With his departure time in his head, he walked back to Kianna. “Our flight leaves tomorrow morning at nine. Our hotel room waits.” Turning away again, he expected her to walk with him. When he glanced back, she was keeping up with him, but her arms were wrapped around herself. Shaking his head, he held open the airport’s door for her and allowed her to climb the stairs into the shuttle bus ahead of him. Her scent was still intoxicating. While her scent swirled around his head, he remembered her soft, sexy lips and the way they moulded against his. She was perfect for him, for his body, but he knew it was too early to spring that on her—he would never spring that on her. She had made it perfectly care that she wanted nothing to do with him other than a boss–worker relationship. Their kiss never happened just because she wished it so. He smiled to himself trying to remember the last woman who had rejected him. There weren’t many. All of them wanted his body because of the way it was built, 85

Kadian Tracey others wanted his money, and the rest wanted both. But Kianna was different. He knew that. He craved that. But there was a time and place for everything and maybe this lifetime wasn’t the time or place for her to be with him. That was a sad thought. It gripped him painfully, but he merely winced and carried on. He could have been a good man to her if the fates hadn’t conspired against him. Dao didn’t sit beside her, but across from her. Reclining into his seat, he folded his arms across his chest and closed his eyes. It would be a few minutes before the shuttle got to the hotel. He had a bit of time to think about what he would do if his father didn’t make it. He didn’t want to, but he had to prepare for the worse. He would have to get ready to try and talk his mother into leaving China. There was no way he would leave her there by herself—no matter how much she kicked and screamed. How could he? A part of him was angry that they hadn’t left when he had asked them to. He went away, struck it rich mostly so he could get them to live a better life with only visits to China. Neither of them wanted to—they didn’t even want to leave Xingping! Well his father didn’t want to and his mother stuck with the old man to be a good wife. By leaving, she would spread dishonour on their home and the Zhi name. 86

A Lover’s Wish “You and your damn honour!” Dao had growled when his mother had explained her reason for staying. He could not understand that. He did not get the need to stay in a place where they could barely make ends meet when he could give them so much more. He then tried getting them a bigger house, maybe in Beijing, anywhere but Xinping. If they were to get hurt, it was hard to get medical attention to them. Even worse so because they were older by then. But his parents loved each other. No matter how much they may pretend sometimes that they didn’t, Dao knew that his father would willingly die for his mother. The bus stopped and he stood. “We’re here,” he spoke to Kianna and watched as she stepped from the bus. The two walked into the hotel. Speaking softly to the lady at the front desk in fluent Cantonese, Dao took the keys from her and walked Kianna to the elevator. They travelled to the fifteenth floor and then to her room door. He handed her the key to her room. “Goodnight, Kianna.” Taking the key, she let her arms fall to her sides. “Aren’t you coming in?” “No,” he spoke simply and turned away. “Goodnight.” “‘Night.”

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Kadian Tracey As he stood at his window and stared out into the night, Dao wondered what kind of news he would get from his mother once he got home again. He didn’t want to hear that his father was dead, but a bad feeling was surging through him. Rubbing his neck, he turned his head away from the window but no matter how much he tried to get away from the thought, he couldn’t. Frowning, he removed his jacket and flopped down against the bed. He didn’t even know why he got a room for himself because he would never get any sleep. Rolling his eyes, he rolled over and faced the wall. “This is nuts.” **** He was gone. Just like that. Kianna spent the night sitting on her bed with her knees pulled up beneath her chin. Everything had slowly wound itself out of control just because his luscious lips, beautiful eyes and hard body called to her and she couldn’t resist. He had tasted like magic. When Dao’s tongue flowed over hers, she felt as though she was the most beautiful person on the planet. Then he had tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her in, savagely feeding from her mouth. He had growled and that must have meant he had enjoyed the kiss—with her. But why couldn’t she face the fact that he had taken pleasure in it? 88

A Lover’s Wish It was too late to feel sorry. All she had to do next, was go to Xingping, help him out with his family emergency and keep her eye on his business. She would then return to Canada and get back to work. It would be just—just like it never happen. There, I’ve forgotten what it is already. Frowning at her thoughts and mentally threatening to stab her brain with a q-tip, she pushed from her bed and walked to the window. She was suddenly so cold and so alone. She wished that Jace was with her, but it was time Kianna stood on her own two feet. She could probably go to Dao and ask him to hold her, to warm her body. But instead, she stood there, staring out the window. It was going to be a long night. But it didn’t have to be. Kianna frowned at herself for all she had to do was go him. Where was he? Bowing her head, Kianna turned from the window and pushed her cold body beneath the sheets. She was shivering now and her teeth chattered. She had checked the A/C before and it was set perfectly so maybe the cold was all in her head. Kianna wished she had asked if she could call home. She didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but lying cold and alone in a hotel room was not the way she wanted her trip to China to be. She had to get out. 89

Kadian Tracey Grabbing her room key, she rummaged through her carryon for a shawl and slipped from the room. “I’m in Hong Kong,” she spoke as she broke through the hotel front doors and stared upward at all the lights. “I might as well enjoy myself.” But then she remembered. It was custom to bring the host of the Chinese house you were visiting a gift. She stopped in the path of traffic on the sidewalk, trying to remember what numbers were bad luck and what numbers weren’t. She couldn’t remember. Was it six? Seven? It couldn’t be seven because that was an odd number. Panic went through her. Okay, all I have to do is breathe. I can remember. When was the Olympics in Beijing? The eight day of the eight month two thousand and eight! “Eight! Ha!” Kianna pumped a fist into the air, then stopped to flail her arms a little. Stopping in mid-flail she realized that people around her had stopped to peer at her in confusion. She bowed her eyes shyly and ducked off down the path.

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Chapter Six ringing telephone ripped Dao from his sleep The at about six thirty in the morning. It was his

pilot, calling to make sure he was awake. Smiling, he inhaled deeply, “Yeah, Paul, I’m up,” he lied and pushed himself into a sitting position. His eyes were burning like hell because he hadn’t gotten enough sleep. When did I even fall asleep? “And wake your lady as well,” Paul suggested before laughing and hanging up. “Smartass.” Dao dropped the phone back into the cradle and rubbed a hand over his face. He hadn’t even changed the night before. When had he fallen asleep? He couldn’t remember. Hauling himself to the bathroom, Dao stared into the mirror and the haunted eyes that shone back at him caused him to moan and turn away. He couldn’t face himself. There was too much pain, hate, utter need that glared back at him. Washing his face, Dao sniffed at his armpits, the old fashioned way of testing one’s clothes for 91

Kadian Tracey cleanliness. Satisfied that he didn’t stink, Dao exited the room and walked the few doors down to Kianna. After knocking, he leant against the doorframe with both his hands stuck into his pocket to wait. His head bowed, he began sticking himself into the frame of mind that he wouldn’t be upset, needy or wanting when he saw her. This was the way to get over something. But how could he get over someone he wasn’t beside anyway? Chuckling, Dao shook his head and knocked again. This time the door opened and he lifted his head. “Morning,” he greeted with some pep to his voice. He didn’t feel that excited, but he could at least fake it. “I’m here to pick you up.” “I thought the plane didn’t leave until…” She was dressed in a towel, wrapped around her mocha skin. Dao kept his gaze glued to hers for if he had looked away, he knew that he would have grabbed her, ripped that towel away and simply ravish her. “Yah, but we have to check in and we all know how that goes,” he explained. She glanced around her nervously. It was as though she thought he would push himself on her so he leaned off the frame and stepped back. Dao shook his head and turned to walk away again. There are some dramas in life that one just didn’t need in their life. Why was it 92

A Lover’s Wish that humans make such a big deal out of things that are so small, so very miniscule? “Dao!” she called. He stopped, but didn’t turn to face her. There were certain things that a man didn’t want to see in a woman’s eyes. “You can come in,” her voice was soft and welcoming. He knew that wasn’t what she thought. He took a step away from her. “Please?” Inhaling deeply, he turned and walked back and by her into the room. Sometimes he wondered why he bothered trying to understand women. It felt to him that since the beginning of time, men have been trying that and so far they all failed miserably. Silently, he walked over to the window. “Get dressed.” He stared out the window. It would be better to say nothing at all. “Why are you being like this?” Dao didn’t move. “Being like what?” “Silent.” “I don’t know what to say around you, Kianna.” His voice was soft yet tight. “I keep to myself and that way there’s less of a chance of me offending you. Now please, get dressed.” “I can’t live like this.”

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Kadian Tracey Dao turned to face her. “Then I will get you a ticket and you can return home.” He turned toward the door. “Is this because of the kiss?” He stopped in his tracks. “It never happened, remember? How is this because of something that never happened?” “Then maybe I should go home because you’re a disagreeable jerk that treats women like crap for no reason!” “I see. Well good news, Kianna Sanderson, you just got your wish, report to the front desk once you have gotten dressed. Your ticket home will be waiting for you.” He placed some money down on a table in the room and glanced at her. Dao frowned and walked out the door, closing it behind him. There were certain things he did not need at the moment with what was ahead of him. It felt strange for him. He was giving her space, being a gentleman and yet she accused him of ill treating her. What more could he have done? He stayed out of her reach. He didn’t speak unless spoken to. All he wanted was an assistant to keep track of things for him while he was out of the country. That was it. He had no intentions of fighting with anyone, except maybe his mother once he told her she was moving back with him, away from her beloved China. 94

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**** Kianna felt utterly defeated. She saw what he was trying to do, but she wasn’t used to being around someone and not speaking to them. He was staying away from her—giving her space, but she didn’t feel like she wanted it. What did she want? She wanted him to hold her like he had on the plane, and kiss her. She wanted him to touch her, whisper to her, protect her from the sadness that now swept through her. As she heard the door click shut behind him, it took a while before she even thought to move from the spot that she was glued to. Her brain wasn’t communicating to her legs. She was going home. Just like that. He had given her such a wonderful opportunity and hadn’t asked for anything in return. She had cut into his time to get to his family and he never complained. He never once talked back to her. Rubbing a hand over her face, she became unglued and rushed to put her clothes back on. Kianna then breezed to the elevator and stood there, jabbing her fingers against the down button over and over. When it didn’t come as fast as she wished, she stomped her foot in frustration like an insolent child and began pressing the button over and over. 95

Kadian Tracey The ping sound finally came and she rushed into the elevator, shoving past those who exited. They spoke in utter disbelief at her rudeness, but she simply frowned and smacked the lobby button. Once more the damn metal abomination that was the elevator stood there with the door open. She wanted to go down—now! She jabbed her finger into the close door button over and over until the door slid shut. All the way down to the lobby, she paced the small space of the elevator. What was she going to say to him? Would she be on time? So many thoughts rushed through her mind that she wanted to wince and cringe into a corner. But she had to be strong. If not, she would then spend the rest of her life wondering what the possibilities would have been. Bursting out the elevator once the door opened, she caught Dao leaving the hotel via the front door. “Dao!” He stopped and turned. She instantly saw the confused look in his eyes. “What now?” “I don’t want to go back.” “What?” “I do not want to go back,” she spoke in shaky Cantonese. “I want to go with you.” She saw the arch to one of his brows and knew he was shocked that she had just spoken in his native tongue. She lowered her eyes shyly. Instead of leaving though, 96

A Lover’s Wish she felt his finger against her flesh, pushing her chin up softly. “You speak Cantonese?” he questioned in his native tongue. “A little,” she whispered in English now. “I learnt from the internet mostly, on chat groups and forums. I am never sure if what they taught me was right.” “That was perfect,” he whispered. “What do you mean you don’t want to go back?” Kianna thought about it, translated her answer from English into Cantonese, and replied, “I want to go with you, to see your mother. I even got her a present—eight of them actually.” He smiled, a soft lift to the corner of his lips, showing perfect, white teeth. “Very well,” he replied and took her hand. “Wait, I have to get my bags,” she stopped. “Don’t worry about it—I’ll have Paul take care of it.” True to his word, he grabbed his cell phone and after explaining to Paul what he wanted, he took Kianna’s hand again. Walking back to the counter, he had her ticket cancelled and they exited the hotel to a waiting limo. As the car moved from the hotel, via the shuttle route back to the airport, Kianna kept her eyes focused on him. He was reading from a paper that was in Cantonese from his lap. She couldn’t read 97

Kadian Tracey the official language when it was written, but she could read the words when they were spelled out with English letters—somewhat. She trailed her gaze from his forehead, down over his eyes to his nose. Then ever so slowly, she stared at his lips, down to his chin, then back to his lips. There was an infatuation she had developed for them. She allowed her eyes to caress from one side of his sensuous mouth to the next—then back again. Oh how she would love to just move across the small space and have him kiss her. She dragged her eyes back and shivered visibly. “Are you cold?” She jerked to face him. Had he seen her staring at him? “No,” she lied. “I was just thinking. That happens when I think.” He smiled at her before leaning forward and draping his jacket over her shoulders nonetheless. He then took his seat and glanced back down to his paper. She pushed back into the plush seat and tried to shut her brain off until they reached the airport. His jacket smelt of him—hot, musky absolutely him. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. She had to say something, even if it caused another argument. “I don’t want to forget.” Dao didn’t look up right away. He looked up in a fashion as though he wanted to finish reading 98

A Lover’s Wish the sentence he was on, then arched a brow He folded his paper and put it away, then faced her again. Still he didn’t speak. “I’ve never been kissed before,” she confessed. The shock in his eyes mocked her and she looked away. “Well not like that. The men—er, man—I’ve been with never really had the time to kiss me like that. Also I never had much time—for dating, for boys, anything. I mean, I barely had time to go to school. I was always working to pay for my travelling…” She trailed off and looked up at him again. “I had this urge to press my lips against yours and when I did and you spread your lips to me, I couldn’t pull away. I needed you…” “Why did you want to forget your first real kiss? Was I not satisfactory, Kianna?” She blushed. “I don’t know. You could say that I have nothing to compare it to. But it made me go hot and cold all over. My knees shook from the delicious shock of it and it confused me. It scared me.” Silence from him again made her want to scream. He was looking at her with that look in his eyes again. It was the same look he had after pulling away from the kiss on the plane—a dark look that sent steam surging through her body. “Say something. Please. Anything at all.” “Would you like to have something to compare your first real kiss to, Kianna?” She nodded without thinking. 99

Kadian Tracey “Then I’m going to kiss you,” Dao explained, while undoing his seatbelt. “You will definitely have something to compare it to.” He moved toward her like a predator—silent, lethal, graceful. She moaned just because of the way his eyes glued to her. They were heated, strong, dark and she began leaning forward in anticipation. When his arm went behind her neck, he gently pulled her close. Weakly, she shivered and watched his lips lower to hers. This time, the kiss was even better than the first. This time, his lips formed against hers. Their tongues danced and tangled with each other. He tasted absolutely divine to her and when his tongue withdrew and plunged into her heat again, she whimpered and wrapped her arms around his neck. His arms went around her back and pulled her tightly against him as much as their cramped quarters allowed. Then he did something that made her sigh contently, Dao pulled back and sucked against her lower lip before dropping a kiss on her upper lip. When she moaned, he pulled back. “I would never force you into anything you’re not ready for,” his voice was soft, husky, sexy. “But I will take what you give to me—on the condition that I feel that it is what you truly want.” 100

A Lover’s Wish “Doh je,” Kianna whispered before bravely taking his lips in a small kiss. “You’re very welcome,” Dao replied. “Mister Zhi,” the driver’s voice came from the small speakers. “We are here.” **** Nodding, Dao looked up. He hadn’t realized they had even stopped. He was caught up in the kiss that had curled his toes and caused his eyes to roll back into his head. He gave her a small kiss against her forehead before pushing out the car before the driver could walk around. He took her hand and led her from the limo, paid the driver and entered the Hong Kong International Airport once more for their flight from Hong Kong to Guilin. “Stay here for a sec, would you?” Dao got the perfect idea. When she nodded, he took off down the wide hall, dodging through the crowd to the gift shop. It took him a couple of minutes to find what he wanted, but eventually he returned with a bag and they silently checked in. Situated on the plane, Dao sat with his long legs crossed, watching Kianna silently. She was once again buried nose deep in a romance novel. He wondered if the men inside those novels were the kind of men she liked. They were the strong men 101

Kadian Tracey that loved so fiercely that it hurt. He remembered his mother explaining that to him. There was always a part of him that wished he could be that kind of man for a woman some day. But he was not perfect. Tearing his eyes away, he glanced out the window. It wouldn’t be far to Guilin and soon they would be on a boat heading into Yangshuo— Xingping via the Li River. He could feel his body begin to change as he got ever so close to home. He could feel the stress of the big city melting away and the feeling of living the way his culture dictated once more. The sense of eating fried crap to real food swam through him and his mouth watered at the thought. “Can I ask you a question?” Her voice came to him as a shock for he didn’t expect her to speak. She had looked so enthralled by her book that he had expected her to keep reading until the private plane landed again. “Sure.” He looked at her. “And you will be honest with me?” A smirk graced his lips. “Always.” He kept eye contact with her, but she didn’t speak for a while, just continued looking at him. “Did I say the wrong thing?” She shook her head. “No. I’m just rethinking my question.” “It cannot be that bad. Let’s hear it.” 102

A Lover’s Wish She cleared her throat and closed her book completely. She placed it beside her in the seat. She uncrossed her legs, rubbed her palms against her thighs and levelled her gaze on his, “This is hard for me so just listen until my question is complete, then answer. Okay. You’re a guy right?” Dao smirked. “The last time I checked.” He was going to ask her to come and check just to make sure, but he figured that would be pushing a joke too far. Instead, he waited to hear what she said to that. “If I were to come to you, as a guy that is— hypothetically—if I were to come to you and strip naked and ask you to make love to me, would you?” That stunned him. Her question caused him to bite back a growl and crossing his legs became harder than he ever thought it could be. He was aroused, immensely so, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. “If you were ready and I was sure you meant it.” “How would you know if I was ready? Hypothetically, speaking.” “Yes, of course. I would know from your eyes, the way your body moved, your lips-” “And what if I had you blindfolded?” she wanted to know. Dao swallowed hard and this time a small noise rumbled from his chest. Her questions were 103

Kadian Tracey starting to carry him into a more than aroused territory “This is one more of those hypothetical things?” He smiled. She looked away while nodding. “Well, then, I’d let you do anything you wanted to do to my body—hypothetically…that is.” She licked her lips then and Dao noticed that he loved the way her pink tongue flowed over her dark lips. He remembered that only minutes ago that same tongue was plunged deep within his mouth. Only mere minutes before he had sucked on that tongue, allowed it to tangle with his and had gotten a wonderful pleasure from it. A shock went up and down his spine, causing him to press back into his seat. He said a silent prayer, seeking patience and strength to resist what he was thinking of doing to the woman sitting across from him.

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Chapter Seven the plane landed in Guilin, Dao stopped When Kianna when she moved to stand. He picked

up the item that he bought in the airport in Hong Kong and knelt before her. Pulling a wrapped box from the bag, he held it out. “I know that you didn’t have time to do much of anything before I all but kidnapped you to come with me,” he began softly. “And I know you probably don’t have one. The sunsets in Xingping are absolutely to die for and I don’t want you to miss a second of it. Go ahead, open it.” She took it with shaking hands. He could see the way her hands trembled as she took the wrapped box from him. Her eyes shone surprise, confusion, but still he smiled. He watched as she daintily ripped through the packaging. It did his heart well to see her ripping through those papers and he ached to see her on Christmas morning, dressed in his oversized robe and ripping through her Christmas presents. His 105

Kadian Tracey heart soared. The silence caught his attention and he looked to see that she had opened the box. She was staring at him. “This is for me?” “Yes. It’s not much but…” She flew at his chest with her present behind him in one hand as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She squeezed him and Dao knew then he could never let her go. He had to find a way to have her feel as much for him as he was beginning to feel for her. He hugged her back and accepted the kiss that she pressed against his lips before sitting back to pull the camera from the box. “I take it you like it?” “Like it?” she retorted. “I love it! I’ve never had a real camera before! No one has ever bought me anything this lovely before.” “This one takes both film and digital. There’s film in the bag along with extra batteries. I made sure you had enough because my family does not have electricity where we’re going.” “Thank you…this means so much…” “Kianna?” “Yes?” “When you smile, you are absolutely beautiful.”

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A Lover’s Wish She giggled softly and pressed her forehead against his shoulder just as the pilot walked into the plane. “I have some bad news,” Paul spoke as he allowed his body to fall into one of the seats. “Oh, hello.” “Paul, this is Kianna, Kiki this is my pilot. What do you mean you have bad news? Did something happen to the plane? Clearance?” “Nice to meet you,” Kianna replied. Paul smiled at her before turning serious eyes of Dao. Dao didn’t like the look. He sat on the edge of his seat and gave his full attention to Paul. “Nothing like that, really. The Li is a bit rough today,” Paul announced. “We couldn’t find one boat who wanted to risk it. They said it’s been like that since yesterday. So until it goes back to normal, you’re stuck in Yangshuo.” Dao frowned and stood. He paced the space from one end of the plane to the next while he thought of what to do. He wanted to get to his parents post-haste, but he wasn’t willing to put his life, a boatman’s and especially Kianna’s life at risk because he was in a hurry. Resigning, he turned to face them again. “Alright. Keep an ear out for me and let me know when we can travel. Kianna, you and I will find a hotel.” “What about you?” Kianna asked Paul. 107

Kadian Tracey The pilot simply smirked beautifully at her before standing. “I am way ahead of you.” He waved some form of a card. “I get to stay for free when I travel. I’ll see to the bags just let me know where you’ll be.” Dao smiled as Paul wished them a good evening and left. He turned to her and took her hand. He kissed her wrist gently, then released her hand. He did not know what to say to her. He had promised they would be in Xingping soon, but once again something happened to keep them from their destination. Reaching in, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and fell into the seat across from her. Picking up the phone, he dialled and listened. He spent a few minutes booking them a place to stay for the night. At one point, he pressed a hand over the receiver and spoke, “Would you rather have your own room or room with me?” He smiled. Seeing she was embarrassed, he nodded. “I guess two,” he said to her before lifting his hand. “Hi,” he began again to the person on the phone when a hand touched his shoulder. He looked up to see her there. “Make that one room with two beds?” she arched a brow at him. Dao smiled. After the room was booked, he collected her bag along with his instead of having Paul deal with them, and was happy to find a car 108

A Lover’s Wish waiting for them. He knew there was a reason he had hired Paul. **** Kianna took a while, just standing outside the hotel and looking up at the building. The hotel was built a little ways in from the street, but there was a beautiful courtyard in the front. A gorgeous waterfall stood in the middle with clear water flowing. The ground was gold in colour and as Dao took her hand in one of his and their bags in another and led her toward the front door, she couldn’t help the way her jaw dropped. The building itself was high, so high that as she counted the floors going up and lost count at twenty seven, then tried again. Soon she couldn’t look up anymore because the sun was glaring down into her eyes. She winced and clung closer to his side. Stepping through the front doors ahead of him was something else. It was as though she had stepped into a whole new world. It was a world filled with glamour and cool, serene colours. Everything was more beautiful than she thought, than the pictures that had gone tattered in her diary as she had stared at them too much. Leather chairs, plants, pictures of dragons, waterfalls, people, the dragon boats! Everything was too 109

Kadian Tracey much for her and she began panting for air to refrain from crying. “Are you alright?” Dao whispered close to her ear. She nodded, but that simply pulled the tears and they toppled down her cheeks. A large fingertip caught one of her tears. Dao kissed her eyelids. “Tell me what’s wrong.” “It’s so beautiful,” Kianna felt like a blubbering mess, but couldn’t help it. “I can’t believe I’m actually here.” She looked up into his smiling eyes and the look he gave her caused her to nod. She wanted to tell him, prove to him that she was indeed going to be fine. He read her eyes for a bit before inhaling and leading her to the front desk In the gorgeous room, Kianna sat on her bed, fingering the camera that Dao had gotten her. She ached to use it to take her first picture, but nothing seemed worthy of it. She had aimed it a few times out the car window on their way from the Liangjiang International Airport, but nothing. She knew she was being picky, but it was the first picture her brand new camera would ever take. It was the first present that a man had ever gotten her. Other women would want jewellery, cars, expensive things, but Kianna was perfectly happy 110

A Lover’s Wish with the camera. It meant more to her than any amount of money in the world. The sun was setting and everything was silent in the room. She hadn’t expected that. She thought Dao would like to talk business with her, but figured he was too worried about his father for conversation. Getting up, she walked out of the bedroom to find him and what she found, took her breath away. There, standing on the balcony overlooking the rough waters of the Li was Dao. He was shirtless and Kianna swallowed nervously. His back was muscular, strong. His skin looked smooth with nothing but one scar to tarnish the perfect view. But she liked that. A man that was smoother than she was didn’t sit right with her. The sunset flowed against his skin, causing it to turn into a light, caramel colour. Licking her lips, she lifted her camera to her eyes. “Dao?” “Mhmm.” He inhaled and turned to look over his shoulder. Kianna snapped her first picture then, lowered the camera to grin. “I know there had to be something better you could have taken your first picture of.” He turned to face her fully. “Have you seen yourself against a sunset?” Dao smiled. “Can’t say I have.” 111

Kadian Tracey Kianna placed her camera against the table beside her and walked out to the balcony. She said nothing to him. All she did was press her palms to his hard chest and caress downward slowly. She enjoyed the way her skin looked against him. She was going giddy from the way the heat of his flesh singed her hands. Her mouth watered at the steady beat of his heart when her hand moved over it. “I was just going—” She tweaked his nipple and he sucked some air through gritted teeth. “To see if you were hungry.” “Uh-huh,” she whispered absentmindedly before leaning forward to kiss his neck, then down under against his pulse. “Very hungry.” Kianna felt it the moment his heart quickened. His arms still didn’t move around her so she continued her nervous exploration of his body. She sucked against one of his nipple, swirled her tongue around it and grazed it with her teeth. She felt his body jerk and assumed she was doing something wrong. Moving her hands to Dao’s hips, Kianna took a deep breath and moved in closer. Sticking her tongue out, she trailed it down his chest and over his hard stomach before straightening and looking up into Dao’s face. Dao was gritting his teeth and he was holding so hard against the rail that his knuckles turned white. Instantly, Kianna 112

A Lover’s Wish felt as though she had done something wrong. “I—” “Please, don’t say you’re sorry.” “Why won’t you touch me? Why are you just standing there?” Dao chuckled softly. “Trust me, Kianna. If I touched you right now, I would have you facing downtown Guilin while I enter you from behind. Is that what you want?” “I don’t know. I just want to explore you,” Kianna admitted. “I want to feel your heartbeat against my lips, to taste the heated mass that’s your skin.” Dao smiled down into her eyes and reached to tangle his fingers into her hair. He brought her lips up to his and drank from them. Kianna released a sigh she had been holding and allowed her arms to circle his waist. But the kiss didn’t last. His mouth was then against her neck, sucking, licking, biting. She whispered his name as his mouth trailed over her pulse and up to kiss and suck at her chin. “Dao,” she managed while licking her lips. The wet heat of his mouth was driving her absolutely insane. She was whimpering, shaking in his arms as though he had suddenly dipped her in hot water, then in cold. She fought against him, to be closer to him. She pulled at his jeans, clawed at his back and groaned when his teeth nipped against 113

Kadian Tracey the tender spot below her ear. Her knees buckled, but his strong arms held her up. Spinning, he pressed her against the rail while he continued his meal of her skin **** Dao loved the feel of her skin against his tongue and he made a note to make it a habit to taste, lick at her often. He sucked at her neck, earlobe and chin. He nipped at her shoulder blade, pushing her robe out of the way. He took great pleasure in it when it pooled at their feet to reveal a beautiful red tank top with a pair of jeans shorts. He fought to move slowly and soon he was kissing at the swells of her breasts that had drawn his attention. Holding against the small of her back, he used his teeth to pull one tank top strap from her shoulder. She was whispering something to him in English, then Cantonese, but he was too far gone to know what it was. But even then, those words built his desire, haunted his senses and tore at his soul. With the strap off, one of her beautiful breasts sprang into view and Dao growled in utter satisfaction when his mouth engulfed the ebony orb. There was nothing more beautiful than a woman’s breast, but with Kianna, he had never had the pleasure of tasting any like hers. He took 114

A Lover’s Wish his time, savoured every feel of her body as it writhed beneath him. Dao had patience, licking her, making her whimper and scream his name to the Chinese evening. Moving his mouth across, stopping to drop a kiss between her breasts, he bared the next one to his eyes and took the nipple between his lips. Squeezing down just barely enough to cause a bit of pain, he then sucked it away. “Yes,” she groaned out. Her fingers found his long hair and they tightened. When Dao released the breast, he slumped downward, pulling down the tank top as he went, kissing her stomach, tasting her belly button and having her cry out. When the shirt pooled to the ground, Dao set to work against her shorts. He undid the button and kissed at her stomach again. Unzipping, he pulled the shorts down, then reached for her thong. When she was fully naked before his eyes, Dao did not feel worthy. “I have to ask you something.” Dao looked up into her pleasure dazed eyes. “Anything…” “Are you a virgin, Kiki?” She went silent. Dao thought she wouldn’t answer. Her eyes were hollow, dark and unreadable. That scared him. He moved to stand up again, but she moved. 115

Kadian Tracey She pulled away, stepped away from her clothes. “Yes.” She darted into the hotel room.

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Chapter Eight body had opened up to him and Kianna Herloved every moment of it. His mouth roaming

over her skin, his fingers grazing her skin was enough to make her cry to the night around them. But knowing that he knew that she had never been touched by a man before, he would want out and she couldn’t say she blamed him. What kind of man wants to have sex with someone who had no idea what she was doing in bed? Frustrated, she slipped into another robe that came with the room and tied the beautiful material carefully around her body. Scooting into her bed, she brought her knees up to her chin and pressed her eyes shut. “Kianna.” Dao’s voice grated against her pride and her bed sank down slightly to show he was sitting against the edge. He touched her arm slightly and she jerked away. “Kiki, being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of,” Dao explained. 117

Kadian Tracey “Why’d you have to ask that, huh?” Kianna demanded. “Because I needed to know.” “Other guys would have just been happy they were getting some!” Silence tore through the room at her comment and she felt the bed give. Looking up, she knew she had stuck her foot in her mouth again, but didn’t know how. Sitting up, she watched as he walked to the window and stared out it for a while. There was nothing out there, no lights—nothing. But still he stared. She remained silent, trying to think of what could be going through his mind. Still he didn’t speak and she thought her mind would explode with the silence. With her lips pressed into a thin line, she pushed from the bed. “Do you really think all I want from you is sex?” Dao questioned. “I-I…” “Kianna, listen to me.” He still faced out the dark window. “I don’t want just sex from you. Never from you…” She watched as he turned and walked toward the door, “Where are you going? Your bed is here?” “To get some food,” was the simple answer. There was a strange silence that followed his exit. It was the kind of silence that left a person holding their breath, waiting for something to 118

A Lover’s Wish happen—anything to happen. The silence was interrupted by a slam of the room’s door and she knew he had left. The sound of the door caused her to gasp in fright. Slowly, she got up and walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Stripping the robe off, she allowed it to fall to the ground and stepped into the shower. With the water flowing over her, she finally cried. She cried not because of the fact that she had hurt Dao again without meaning to, but because she felt so useless. She felt as though her life was passing her by and she had no idea how to grab a hold of it. Dao could be the one. Then again he may not be, but he the way he touched her couldn’t be a lie. Kianna knew she should learn to take chances and Dao would be the ultimate test. He had so many opportunities to have taken advantage of her, but didn’t. If he had been any other man, he would have taken her in the plane when she had kissed him, or after the other kisses they had shared. He could have forced himself onto her on the plane, in the cars, that night in Hong Kong. But the big one came when she thought about how close they had come to making love on the balcony. He could have not asked her at all. He could have just taken her, but he was worried about her. Dao had asked the ultimate question 119

Kadian Tracey disregarding the fact that a man never asked such a question. Once again, she had pushed him away. Her body reacted to him strongly. When he touched her, all she could think about was doing anything he said—gave him anything he wanted. But once again, her brain had stepped in and ruined everything. **** Dao did not know why she kept on pushing him away. He had tried everything to stay away from her, but she kept right on coming. Each time he gave in to her, she simply freaked out and ran. Sighing, he thanked the man at the restaurant for the wrapped food and took the bag. He then dumped his change into his pocket, glanced both ways and rushed across the street ahead of a bicycle. With one hand holding the bag and the other in his pocket, Dao made his way up the street back to the hotel. At the door, Dao stopped, took a deep breath before swiping his card and pushing the door open. He heard the water running and figured she might be taking a shower. He unpacked the food onto the table and sat down, waiting. He ripped open a fortune cookie. He didn’t want the cookie, 120

A Lover’s Wish he just wanted some good news—any good news. He unfolded the piece of paper inside. You will find great happiness with a new love. Dao rolled his eyes, growled and hurled the cookie and the fortune into the garbage. The bathroom door opened and Kianna walked into the room. He stood and entered the kitchen area. He washed his hands and moved back silently to the table. “I brought you some food,” he spoke without looking at her. “Can we talk?” “No, just eat,” Dao spoke harsher than he really wanted to, but didn’t apologize for it. He walked around her and out the door to the balcony. He inhaled deeply and he could smell the river that ran not far from where they were staying. The air smelt different in China. It smelt better to him. A smile graced his lips, but almost as quickly as it came, the smile was gone. Reaching into his pocket, he tried calling his mother, but the call wouldn’t go through. Frowning, he really wished that she would have moved when he had suggested it. He was worried about his father again. That bad feeling washed over him once more and he cringed while his fingers tightened against the rail. Again he tried to call. This time the phone rang, but when someone on the other end picked up, it died. Dao barely 121

Kadian Tracey held back a profanity as he tried again and again, but still no luck. He was tempted to send the phone flying off the balcony, but knew he needed it. Looking up at the sky, he silently questioned the stars. Why? “Dao?” He tensed. He remained standing in the position he was in, his head tilted back, staring at the sky with contempt. “I’m sorry,” Kianna spoke. “What are you sorry for, Kianna?” “The uncertainty. Accusing you of being like other men. This is all new to me.” “You don’t have to apologize, Kianna. It’s your body.” He turned to face her. “It is your decision on who you allow inside it. So don’t be sorry.” “Then why are you angry?” “I’m not angry. I’m frustrated, there’s a difference.” “What’s the difference?” Dao inhaled deeply and turned from her again. He did not feel like going through a lecture with anyone at that moment. “Did you eat?” “Don’t change the subject, Dao.” “Why the hell not?” He swung to face her. “You do. Why can’t I change my mind when I want to— look, Kianna. Every time you touch me and pull away, a part of me dies. I stay out of your reach, 122

A Lover’s Wish out of your path because I can’t have you touch me.” “Then fine, I won’t touch you!” she snapped and turned to enter the hotel room. “That’s right. Do like you always do and put words in my mouth, Kianna, then run away,” Dao spat distastefully. She stopped. He thought she was going to stop and fight, but as usual, Kianna picked up and ran. Shaking his head, he turned back to the night before him. He was so damn sick and tired of her tantrums. At that last one, he didn’t care anymore. Saying a silent prayer of protection over his father, Dao walked into the sitting area of the living room. He removed his shirt and tossed it over the back of a chair and tried to settle his body in a comfortable position on the sofa. But he was too tall. Groaning, he placed the cushions on the ground and stretched out against them. Closing his eyes, he was out like alight. **** It was the middle of the night and Kianna couldn’t sleep. She kept waiting for Dao to walk into the room and crawl into his bed. But that didn’t happen. At first she tried to tell herself she didn’t care. She tried to make herself feel better by saying 123

Kadian Tracey it was up to him if he wanted to be a jerk, let him be a jerk. But halfway through the night, she couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t just lay there thinking ill of him. Pressing her eyes shut, she exited the room and began searching for him. She found him tossing and turning on the living-room floor. She felt horrible—mean. Sleeping the way he was, against the floor on cushions could not be good for his body. He would be in pain in the morning, she knew that. Kneeling beside him, she lifted a hand and hesitated. Every time you touch me and pull away, a part of me dies. His words tore through her and she sat back against her haunches. She allowed her gaze to trail over his body, to caress his face from between his eyes, over the slope of his nose. Her gaze trailed across his kissable mouth, down his chin and down his bare chest. Involuntarily, she bit her lower lip. Again her hand rose and again his words stopped her. His head thrashed against the cushion. “Mother…” His voice was filled with shadow, pain. He was hurting. There had to be some way to sooth him, to take his pain away. She couldn’t think of anything other than what she was about to do. He may not like it, but she couldn’t help it. 124

A Lover’s Wish “Please…Mother…” With tears in her eyes at the thought of what he must be dreaming, she moved against the cushions, rested her head against his heart, wrapped her arm across his body and pulled him in close. **** The movement against him, pulled Dao from his nightmare and he rolled over. He thought it was a part of his night terror, but when a warm arm was tossed over him, he knew it was real. Before opening his eyes, he smelt her and knew she was holding him. Pressing his eyes shut again, he begged some higher being for mercy and patience. He tried to sit up, but she was holding him so tight that he couldn’t. Already, his body was at attention, aroused to her scent and her warmth pressing against him. But Dao had learnt his lesson. He wouldn’t be going there again. “Kianna,” he whispered while shaking her gently. “Kianna, wake up.” “What? Is it time to go already?” She moaned and snuggled in against his chest even more. “No. But you can’t sleep here, you need to go to bed.” “After you,” she retorted. 125

Kadian Tracey “I’m giving you your space. Seriously, go to bed.” “If you don’t go, I won’t go.” She lifted her head to look at him. The dim light flowing through the room flashed into her eyes and Dao inhaled deeply. Reaching up, he took her hand and squeezed it. “What do you want from me, Kianna?” “What you did to me on the balcony…” Dao pushed away at that comment and moaned as his stiff body was lifted quickly from the ground. He rubbed his lower back, then his shoulder and walked into the kitchen section. He glanced at the food on the table and his stomach growled at him. Frowning, he sat down and grabbed a box of Low Mein and some chopsticks. “Now who’s running away?” Kianna challenged. “There’s nothing else to do,” Dao spoke. “Do you know why I asked you if you were a virgin?” Kianna shook her head and took the seat across from him. He watched her carefully as he chewed. Placing his chopsticks across the mouth of the food’s box, he leant forward to make sure she was getting his undivided attention. “A woman’s first time is painful,” he began. “I did not want to hurt you, alright? That’s why I asked. But as usual, you took 126

A Lover’s Wish it the wrong way and you told me off and ran away.” “I didn’t know…” “Of course not. Because you just assume that I’m out to be a prick. Look, I—just give me a few days and then you can go home and pretend that none of this ever happened…wasn’t that what you wanted to begin with?” Kianna stood, undid the clasp of her robe and pushed it off her shoulders. She was naked. Dao swallowed conversely. He couldn’t do it anymore. He stood and turned his back on her. But she didn’t go away. To his utter frustration, she walked around him, took his hand and brought it up over one of her breasts. Dao stiffened. “Kianna, please…” his voice was shaking. “I want you, Dao. No turning back, no running away.” Dao shook his head. “Not like this.” “What do you mean?” “I don’t want you doing this because it is what you think I want,” Dao explained sadly. Though he was very much aroused by her nakedness, he had to put her first. He had to make sure that even if he had regrets later, she wouldn’t have any. He wanted if they made love that it would be because they both wanted to, not because of stress. 127

Kadian Tracey She took his hand again, singled one finger out and moved in closer. Dao held his breath and watched in shock as she pressed the finger into her hot wetness. He moaned. That one movement was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He took her shoulder with his free hand while his fingers of the other continued teasing the tight little bud between her legs. She was moaning now, her head tilted backward. Dao reached in for her lips and took them fiercely. There were days of pent up, sexual frustration that he was feeling, but knew he had to hold on to them—just a bit longer. She gripped against his shoulders and arched her breasts into his chest. Dao’s fingers moved faster against her jewel as he backed her into the bedroom. Slowly, gently, Dao laid her across the bed and crawled over her. Looking down into her eyes, he smiled, “Are you sure about this?” Dao knew questions like that always drove her away, but he couldn’t help it. He had to make sure he gave her every chance to stop it. “Make love to me, Dao,” she whispered, arching up to him. “I want to know what it feels like, please.” Searching her eyes, Dao saw what he wanted and dipped his head again. This time, he lowered himself against Kianna’s body. He made a path 128

A Lover’s Wish with his tongue until he was face to face with her heat. He looked up and she was looking down at him by propping herself up on her elbows. Smiling, Dao licked his lips and began feeding savagely from her centre. **** “Dao!” Kianna cried and her body jerked. The smile he had given her right before delving into his feast was like the big bad wolf and he was about to gobble her up. She loved the feeling and the look in his eyes. She writhed against his mouth, shoving her hips upward for she couldn’t lay still. Her fingers found his hair and pressed his mouth down against her and he moaned. She whimpered as her knees bent and straightened. Her arms lost control and fell to her sides. She crushed the sheet into tight fists. Again, she cried up to him, begging him, pleading with him for what was coming. She knew what was it called— orgasm, ultimate release, the end. Whatever it was called, she wanted it, needed, craved it. “Dao please…” she called as her back arched from the bed. Her eyes rolled back into her head as his tongue made another sets of passes over the tender bud. She was delirious—crying out in English, then Cantonese. She scratched at his shoulders before banging fists of utter insanity 129

Kadian Tracey against the bed. Her body shook as her breath caught in her throat. Then it hit her. It began in her toes. They curled and fire shot up her knees. He pressed her legs apart, then ravished her more. Kianna lifted her hips from the bed and began bucking. It was happening! Her great undoing was happening and she wanted it! With her mind completely shattered, her orgasm coursed through her like a tidal wave. She screamed as his tongue shoved her off into the great abyss. She trembled, whimpered, clawed for him to hold her. “That was…” she began, but she could barely form a coherent sentence. When she flopped down against the bed, Dao stopped and lifted his body over hers.

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Chapter Nine sounds she made—be it screaming his name The or murmuring in her throat, to purring, Dao

loved. They spurred him on to give her more and more of himself. He needed to make her feel what it could be like should she choose to stay with him after this whole experience was over. Now things took a more sensuous turn while he braced over her, cradling her face. “I want to be the forever that you seek,” Dao whispered as he dropped butterfly kisses against her face, shoulders, ears. “The man that holds your soul in my heart. I shall be gentle with it, I swear. A promise made in a whisper from the very depths of my being. It will make me fight to keep my word. In the middle of the night, when your soul is yearning, let me be the answer you seek. Fall into my arms and I’ll be your hero, your lover, your friend. Take my body the way only you can. Tis a fortress for your storming. Let it 131

Kadian Tracey ease your every hunger and boil your desires. I want to be the forever that you seek…” When he lifted his head, she was crying softly, clinging to him harder. When he pulled back slightly, she pressed her face into his neck. “Kianna,” Dao whispered, easing her back so that he could see her face. “Open your eyes.” She still trembled against him. “That,” she managed, “was so beautiful…” “A friend of mine wrote it a few years ago. He’s in the military now—but I meant every word,” Dao told her truthfully. “I want to be that rock for you—not because of this, what we’re in the middle of, but because I feel something for you, Kianna.” She nodded with a smile. “Thank you…that look in your eyes, do you want to stop?” “No, but what’s about to happen,” he trailed off in a groan because at that precise moment, Kianna lifted her hot wetness against his trapped arousal. “I’m going to try and be as gentle as I can—but it may still hurt…” Her eyes glistened up into his and Dao felt as though he was about to take her life. He fought not to leave her because of his nerves. If he did that, he knew it would crush her. She would no doubt believe that he was leaving because she was a virgin. As if in answer to him, he felt her legs wrap around his thighs and he smiled before kissing her 132

A Lover’s Wish forehead. Pulling away from her, he stood at the foot of the hotel’s bed and undid his pants. He stepped back to the bed and moved up her body. Her hand instantly found his arousal and he moaned her name and nipped at her neck. There on his knees, he whimpered, sighed, growled as her hands stroked him tightly. He arms shook threatening to send his body crashing against hers, but he gritted his teeth and held out. With one hand driving him crazy, her free hand went up around his shoulder. He kissed the swells of her breasts, the nipples to try and keep his sanity, but that didn’t work. Soon his head was tossed back, his black hair spilling against his shoulder. His hips thrusts softly down into her hand. “Am I doing it right?” her voice was playfully soft. He moaned his reply. He could not find words to answer her question. This woman not only held his member in her hand, but also his very being and it did not scare him. Kissing her lips, he captured her hand, laced his fingers with hers and allowed his body to press her into the softness of the bed. He released one of her hands to take himself and enter her partially. Looking into her eyes, he bit down against his lower lip, then gritted his teeth. Just barely within her, she was 133

Kadian Tracey burning him alive. “Kianna,” he managed. Letting her hand go, he plunged within her. She cried out to him, biting down into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry,” Dao whispered, kissing every inch of her face he could. Her fingers dragged down his back and he looked into her eyes, confused. He thought she was in pain, but her hips were twisting against him. “Kianna?” “More…” “Aren’t you in pain?” She smirked. “Do I look like I’m in pain?” Dao needed no further prodding. He withdrew from her slightly and pushed forward. She moaned and wrapped her legs around him again. He held himself up against his palms, pushing into the bed as he rode her. The bed creaked softly, then louder as his hips began slamming forward harder and harder. He was absolutely fevered with the feelings pulsating through him. Her arms went around his neck and her body pulled up so that her face was pressing into his neck. He loved the feeling of her heat against him. It was even better when she clamped down around him with her release. He gritted his teeth, trying to stop his cry of searing desire, but it didn’t work. **** 134

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Kianna thought making love to a man would be amazing, but never the way she was feeling. As her body arched even closer to him and she felt her soul give way to another eruption, she clung to him tighter and pressed her face into his neck to stifle her cry. He pulled her up so that she was sitting against his thighs and she swore he had slipped even deeper within her. She let her head fall backward and his mouth attached to her neck. Her eyes were rolling back into her head as she bounced against him. His mouth moved closer to her nipples. Over and over her body crashed and she welcomed it. His chest began shaking against her, his body stiffened and his arms tightened around her. Dao pulled from her and yelled his release. She bent her head and licked against his shoulder as her orgasm coursed through her. **** The next time, Dao opened his eyes, he was wrapped in Kianna’s arms. She was sleeping soundly beside him. She didn’t move when he leaned in and kissed her neck. The sunlight was coming into the room now. He did not want to move for moving constituted Kianna’s arms no longer holding him. He pulled his body from her 135

Kadian Tracey reluctantly, walked out into the living area and grabbed his cell phone. He had missed a few calls and had a voice mail. Checking it, he smiled and walked back into the bedroom. Kianna was sitting up with the sheets up to her chest. She looked so damn sexy Dao couldn’t help himself. Going down on his knees beside the bed, he wrapped his fingers into her hair. Gently, he took her lips, savouring the taste of her, the scent of her, relishing her. When he pulled back and looked up into her face, her dark brown eyes had taken on a sexy haze and he smiled. “Good morning.” “If you can wake me up like that, every morning—” “I can…” She smiled and leant into him for another kiss. “I have some good news,” Dao spoke softly against her lips between stolen kisses. “If you keep kissing me like that we won’t be getting to Xingping. The river is normal again.” Kianna giggled. “You don’t mean that.” She poked his chest. “Come on, let’s get ready and go. We have to get to your dad.” Dao nodded with a small smile on his lips. He watched her scoot off the bed and hurried toward the bathroom and even then he had to smirk. “Nice butt.” 136

A Lover’s Wish “Dao Zhi!” she called in English, but then flipped to Cantonese. “Be nice!” “I am!” Dao called, feigning innocence. He laughed when she stuck her tongue out at him and closed the door. If he wasn’t in a rush to get home, he would take her into that bathroom and show her how to use that tongue. Shaking his head, he searched for Paul’s number and dialled. “You got Paul, go!” Dao shook his head. “Morning.” “Boss man! I see you’re awake. I know why you’re calling.” “Gimme some good news, Paul.” “You didn’t get my text?” “Yeah.” “Well, boss man, I got you a boat to take only you and your lady across. But he’s charging a little more than normal since he won’t be able to carry anyone else but you two. I told him to be ready to go at lunch time.” “My man!” Dao cheered. He didn’t have to ask the cost because money meant nothing to him, not when it concerned his family. Paul laughed. “I’ll send a car for you in two hours. So eat, do what you gatta do and be ready.” “We’ll be ready,” Dao promised and hung up. By the time Kianna snuck into the sitting area and wrapped her arms around his bare waist, Dao had breakfast ordered from room service and had it 137

Kadian Tracey ready. He moaned when her body pressed into his and smiled. “Our car gets here in about one hour and forty-five minutes,” Dao explained and turned into her arms. “Please eat something. You haven’t eaten much over the past few days.” She nodded. Dao helped her into her chair. Taking the chair across from her, they ate silently for a while before he felt one of her feet sliding up his leg. He eyed her with a smile, but she simply continued eating as though nothing was happening. “You are one evil woman.” He laughed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kianna pouted. Dao loved the playfulness in her eyes now. That was something he would love to see in her eyes always. A happy spark that turned him on more than he cared to admit at that moment.

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Chapter Ten was so excited. As she sat on the front of Kianna the boat, Dao was speaking with the driver.

Inhaling, she marvelled at the beauty that was the scenery on both sides of the Li River. Everything was wonderfully green, fragrant, absolutely breathtaking. She wanted to close her eyes and inhaled long and deep, but that could be a problem. She could miss something while her eyes were closed. Kianna was at such peace she knew she never wanted it to end. There wasn’t any other time in her life she could remember feeling such silent wonder, such utter respect for a place. As landmark after landmark floated by, Kianna felt this overwhelming urge to stand and pay her respects to this beautiful place by bowing. Feeling a little guilty about not taking pictures—as though the picture would take away the beautiful from the world around her, Kianna lifted that wonderful camera to her eyes. She 139

Kadian Tracey snapped a few pictures of the greenery around her, then turned around and the limestone Karst came into view. She almost dropped the camera she was shaking so hard. It was more beautiful than all the pictures she had ever seen of it. It was as though the singled out mountains were touching the sky, gently kissing the heavens. She snapped a few pictures of them and the smile that spread across her face spoke volumes. Shifting slightly, she took a few more pictures before getting up on shaky legs. She did bow then, a deep, low bow that caused her body to shake slightly. Still, she held the position for a little while longer before straightening and walking around the boat to where Dao stood in deep conversation with the driver. They were speaking back and forth in Cantonese and she could decipher a few words here and there, but for the most part they were speaking too fast. Kianna stood there silently, watching him, taking his picture. When he looked up and smiled at her, she gasped and lowered the camera. Shyly, she bowed her head. “New love?” the driver questioned in Cantonese. That bit Kianna got. She opened her mouth to say something. “Something like that,” Dao replied before walking over to take Kianna’s hand. 140

A Lover’s Wish The two walked back to where she was sitting earlier. He pulled her between his legs and like she had seen done on television so many times— she rested back against his chest. Dao kissed her head over and over until his mouth dipped against her neck, then back to her ear and head. “This is so peaceful,” she whispered while caressing his thigh absently. “Mhmm,” he replied. “You know, I never thought anything like this could ever happen.” “Anything like what?” “This—us. I don’t even know if you want there to be an us. I’ve always wanted someone to hold me as you’ve held me. I’m still a little afraid that I’m going to open my eyes and it would have all been a dream.” **** “Well in that case, stay asleep,” Dao’s voice was husky and strong as he tilted forward and kissed her lips. He knew how he felt about Kianna, wanted to offer her more, but not before he found out about his father. He needed to deal with one crisis at a time. Inhaling deeply, he looked around him. He was almost home and began to feel his heart racing. Kianna must have felt it for she sat up, then turned to face him. 141

Kadian Tracey “You alright?” she questioned. “I feel as if my heart is ready to jump out my mouth,” Dao admitted. “It has been a while since I’ve been here. Normally I land in Guilin and send for my parents. It takes too much to get all the way out here. But I couldn’t have my father travel.” She nodded and reached in to hug him tightly, “I got your back.” That one phrase showed Dao without a doubt the wonderful person Kianna was. He believed in that one line more than he had ever believed in anything. Tangling his fingers into her hair, he lifted her lips to his once more. He kissed her completely, allowing her scent and tongue to take away all the troubles he was worried about at that moment. But his sweet reprieve was taken away when the driver yelled that they were at their destination. Slowly, he pulled from her and helped her up. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he looked to the direction of his parent’s home. The small house looked so still, so absolutely quiet that Dao had to fight to wait until the boat was properly docked before he jumped off into the shallow water. The house looked like death lived there—a dark and retched kind of death that drained the life out of everyone in the vicinity. It poured through him like a strange illness. He reached up, taking 142

A Lover’s Wish Kianna by the waist and without putting her down, carried her in his arms to dry land. Dao needed to feel her against him for with her, he felt as if he could do anything. He then returned for their bags. He paid the driver with a hefty tip and walked back to her. Standing beside her, he pulled her closer to his side and looked toward the house. Swallowing, Dao felt like a teenager, about to tell his crush how he felt. It was an unnerving feeling, the kind that made his palms sweat and he was happy he was holding on to Kianna’s hip. Taking a deep breath, he looked down into her eyes. “Can you kiss me?” he pleaded. “Just, something to hold me over. Give me some of your strength, Kianna.” When she gave him her lips, Dao drew from her strength. He tasted from her lips as though the world was ending. Reluctantly, he lifted his lips from her, stole another kiss before smiling down at her. “Are you ready?” “Dau zue,” Kianna nodded. He grinned. Walking up the slight embankment with both his bags and Kianna’s, he stopped at the door and knocked. When there was no reply right away, Dao felt as though he had just seen his world die before his eyes. He knocked again, this time in a slight panic. When the door opened, he had never seen his mother so tired. 143

Kadian Tracey Stepping forward, the bags slipped from his fingers. He dropped to his knees before his mother and wrapped his arms around her knees. Overwhelming feelings, sadness, rushed through him as he pressed his face against her. She was warm and felt like Mother—home. With her was where he should be when his world was crashing in on him. “Mama,” he whispered. Dao only stood when his mother tugged at his shoulder. Standing, he kissed her on both cheeks before hugging her tightly to him. Her frail body trembled gently against him and Dao felt his heart break. She was much skinnier than he had seen her the last time— mere months before. She had insisted that he didn’t baby her, but how could he not? She was his mother, his heaven, his all. He had stopped visiting her so regularly and stuck to a few times a year rather than two to three times a month. Instead, he called, sent money, sent letters and anything she needed or things that he thought she needed, but wouldn’t ask for. He cradled his mother’s face and looked down into her eyes. Those eyes that would strike fear into his heart as a child were so gentle then. They mourn for a love she’d had for so long. Pure, true love for the man lying in the next room spewed from his mother’s eyes. If he had any doubt before, he knew it then. His mother loved his father. 144

A Lover’s Wish “If I could trade places,” she whispered. “I know, Ma,” he whispered. “I know.” When she stepped away from him, Dao smiled. “Who is this?” his mother questioned in Cantonese. **** Kianna had watched in utter shock as her heart broke in two while the grown man fell to his knees before the woman who had raised him. Her hand lifted to her chest and she blinked back her tears. Her eyes stung, but she pressed her lips together, determined not to cry. For a moment there, she was thinking she was eavesdropping. Taking a step back, she wanted to give them some privacy, but it would be disrespectful to walk away when they hadn’t even been introduced. Still, she stood there, taken in by the emotions that flowed over her. When the woman spoke, Kianna blinked and looked at the two of them with fresh eyes. Dao was smiling at her and his mother was peering at her. Dao had the look of a man who was proud of something he had done and that confused her for a bit. “This is my girlfriend, Ma,” Dao explained. Kianna suddenly wished the earth would open and swallow her. He hadn’t even explained anything to her like asking her to play along. He 145

Kadian Tracey just came right out and told his mother. He might as well have told the woman that they were sleeping together. Then it occurred to Kianna that he hadn’t even asked if she wanted to be his girlfriend. What if she didn’t want to be? “Kianna,” Dao finished. Kianna found a smile from somewhere deep, stepped forward, bowed slightly in greeting, “Zhi Fūrén,” she spoke eloquently. When she lifted her face, Mrs. Zhi was looking at her with shock. Kianna thought she had maybe pronounced the honorific name at the end of her name wrong. She looked at Dao for some help, but the jerk was smiling at her. Kianna wanted to flip her lid and just freak at him, but couldn’t. She had to be respectful, keep face or Gei-mian-zi as the Chinese called it. For that brief moment that felt like an eternity, Kianna held onto her temper by squeezing her hands into tight fists at her sides. The older woman released Dao and stepped forward to stand before Kianna. Here we go. She’s about to tell me how I’m not good enough for her son. “Do you speak Cantonese?” the older woman questioned in the language. Kianna glanced at Dao before speaking. “A-a little,” she got out in Cantonese. Mrs. Zhi walked around Kianna, from time to time poking the younger woman against the arm, 146

A Lover’s Wish the back, the butt. Finally, she stood before Kianna with a smile on her face. “Welcome to our home,” she spoke in perfect English. Kianna was surprised. With a sigh of relief, she bowed her head again before speaking, “Doh Je.”

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Chapter Eleven t was as though the world had stood still. Once Ihis mother had explained to him what was

happening with his father, Dao rushed over to his father’s bed and fell to his knees beside it. “Fuh chan,” he whispered taking his father’s hand. It was so stupefying that this old, frail man at death’s door on the bed was his father. Lee Zhi had been such a strong person. The man could gain respect even from the toughest of gangsters in his time. He could lift things that men his size shouldn’t have been able to lift. This man was the centre of his universe when he was a boy, his hero. Lee still was Dao’s hero, just a weaker version. But even then, Lee could do no wrong in Dao’s eyes. The man turned his head and recognition lit up the older man’s eyes. He smiled at Dao and that did his heart well. “Fuh Chan,” Dao called again. “Dao…” Lee got out and tried to sit up. “Don’t…save your strength.” 148

A Lover’s Wish “There is something I have to talk to you about.” Lee grabbed Dao’s hand and squeezed. “I know that I do not have much time. And I would have liked to have given your bride my blessings…” “Fuh Chan.” Lee smiled. “I am not blaming you. I know that you wanted to make your life comfortable before bringing a wife into your world. That is respectable, but I’d like to give you my blessings now. And you will have to pass them onto the bride you chose for me.” “I found her, fuh chan.” Dao smiled lovingly into his father’s face. “I’ve found her and she is here with me.” His father’s face lit up. Dao’s heart danced proudly at the smile he was able to bring his father. Standing, Dao took Kianna’s hand and walked her back to the bed, “This is her…” The older man asked Dao to help him up and with Dao’s help, Lee sat up with pillows propping him up. Dao watched as Lee took Kianna’s hand and pressed a kiss against her wrists. He looked up into her eyes, whispered something before smiling. He lay back against the pillows. Dao exchanged a look with Kianna then knelt back down beside his father’s bed. Late into the night, while Kianna slept against the ground with 149

Kadian Tracey her head in his lap, Dao’s eyes snapped open. Something was different. Something that he desperately needed wasn’t there anymore. “Kiki,” he shook her gently. “Kiki, wake up.” She moaned, “Dao? What’s wrong?” Once she was sitting up, Dao pushed up to look at his father’s face. “My son’s home,” Lee whispered. “My son’s…” Those were his last words before his hand that was holding Dao’s went slack. Dao knew that his beloved father, the man he’d honoured above all others, was gone. He had so much money, so much power in the business world and he had no control over the death of his father. Dao’s world shattered as he knelt there, Kianna’s arms around him. When he finally snapped out of his daze, he released his father’s hands and began rummaging through the drawers inside the small room. Finding some red paper, he began covering every statue of Chinese deities with the red paper. It would have seemed his mother had been prepared for the death of her husband. With all the statues covered, Dao turned to Kianna and swallowed nervously. “Please, Kianna, wake my mother,” he whispered. After she left the room, Dao went back to kneeling beside his father’s bed. ***** 150

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It was the most horrible thing she had ever had to do. Bringing a woman back to doom, the loss of the man she had loved with all her heart. It was not a pretty thing and even as she did it, she wondered why Dao had let her. But it hit her that it wasn’t about her, it was about the man she was falling for being in pain. It was about the loss of someone who was a large part of a family. With that thought, she sucked it up and allowed her feet to carry her to where Mrs. Zhi slept. The old woman was tossing and turning against her pillow and Kianna didn’t feel so guilty in waking her up. Kianna brought Mrs. Zhi back and felt out of place as both son and mother went back to the father’s body. She decided to make herself useful by doing what she had studied about Chinese customs so long ago. Walking over to the far wall, she removed a hanging mirror that was there and brought it from the bedroom. In the next room, she placed it up-sided down in a far corner out of the way. In Mrs. Zhi’s bedroom, Kianna pulled a white sheet from the bed and hung it over the bedroom door of the room where the dead man lay. She couldn’t find a gong, but she knew it was supposed to be placed inside the door on the left hand side. 151

Kadian Tracey With all that finished, Kianna stood outside in the darkness of the midnight air and inhaled. It was important to give mother and son time to get used to the idea that the man they loved so dearly was no longer there with them. Kianna knew how that felt, all too well and having strangers in her face was the last thing she wanted. She’d wanted them all to go fly a kite and leave her alone. She wrapped her arms around herself as she stared down at the river. The moon sparkled off the water like a blessing. She welcomed it all, all that this strange, exotic land had to offer her. But in the house behind her, death had reached in and snatched a father, a husband and a friend. That was a feeling she never wanted to have, ever again. Dao’s eyes had died when his father did, Kianna was no fool. She saw the light in those beautiful brown eyes go out. When she began removing the mirror, she saw him looking at her, but she did not stop. Loneliness like no other would flow through Dao’s mother. It was a feeling that Kianna knew all too well. She was going to wake up in the middle of the night, roll over to bury herself within her husband’s heat, only he wouldn’t be there and her heart would break. She knew all this because even though she had only been with Dao, she knew how she felt all those years when Jace would tell her about sex and love. Then Kianna 152

A Lover’s Wish would crawl into bed, have a rather raunchy dream and wake up reaching for her dream lover. She knew it all too well. For a brief moment, she wished there was something she could do for Mrs. Zhi. But then she realized, she wouldn’t know the first thing to do in order to make the hurt go away short of taking the pain onto herself. The truth was, if Kianna could have pulled Mrs. Zhi’s and Dao’s pain onto herself, she would—if only to see Dao smile at her like he did during their lovemaking. She smelled him before he wrapped his arms around her. She turned into Dao’s arms and cradled his face before he bowed and let his face fall against her neck. She felt his body shake gently and his tears flowed against the flesh of her neck. Tenderly, she caressed his neck and hair as he cried for his father. Kianna felt proud that this man, this sexy man, wasn’t afraid to show his true feelings. He was hurt and he sought her arms for comfort. She felt honoured. He held her tightly, his face pressed to her neck, then her cheeks. He lifted his face to brush his tear-covered lips to her nose and forehead, before cradling her face and taking her lips. Kianna moaned in desire and utter pain as he drank from her. She felt the ever pulsating pain he felt as his heart broke. Everything he went through she would be right there. Her heart meshed with his, 153

Kadian Tracey going through the sensations, the terrible sensations of his absolute fear and dread. There were no words for what they were feeling. There was nothing else to do but hold him as the moon began saying its goodbye. She allowed him to lead her around the house to a large rock that overlooked the Li River. Then he pulled her into his arms, pressed her head against his chest and there the sunlight found them. Kianna wrapped in Dao’s arms protectively, breathing softly in her sleep. **** Time flew by Dao without him even noticing it. He had spent half the morning trying to convince his mother that she should go back to Canada with him and another half trying to convince Kianna to talk his mother into moving to Canada with them. When that hadn’t work, Dao had gotten frustrated enough to cry. He watched his mother as she bathed his father and prepared him for the coffin. He had left her with Kianna and went into Guilin to get the coffin. There were no preparations made for his father’s death since it had been so sudden. As the boat moved through the water of the Li River, Dao ached for it to go faster. The further he got from Xingping, the less he felt his father’s 154

A Lover’s Wish spirit and that gnawed at him. He felt guilty that he wasn’t leaving for things to bury his beloved father in. It felt as though he was running away. He inhaled, but could smell nothing but death on the air. It was putrid, rancid, foul. He hated the smell of the air and for a moment there, he wished he didn’t have to breathe, but he had to. He spent the day making deals, trying to get someone to go with him back to Xingping and bring his father, mother and Kianna back to Guilin so that they could bury his father beside his grandparents. With those deals finished, he ducked down to the plot and arranged for a hole to be dug. After all those errands were finished, he bought some new clothes, white to be exact—for both himself and Kianna, then returned home. When he returned home, his mother still had not spoken to anyone, not even Dao. Once in a while she would mutter something, but it wasn’t audible and Dao feared for her. He would have taken Kianna back to Guilin with him, but he knew that his mother trusted Kianna and if Kianna was there, he knew that his lover would at least make sure that his mother ate something. He spent the rest of the day watching over his father’s body. Finally he unfolded himself and went to find Kianna. He found her, dressed in a blue outfit with a hood over her hair, telling his mother a story as she lay, wide eyed on the bed, 155

Kadian Tracey listening. Kianna’s Cantonese was shaky, but she was getting her point through. He was surprised that she knew so much about his culture, but didn’t mention it. “Hi, Ma,” he whispered before dropping a kiss on Kianna’s head. “Shh,” his mother hushed. “She is telling me a story.” Dao smiled sadly and left the room. The childlike sound of his mother’s voice broke his heart. He knew that he had not just lost his father, he lost his mother, too. She would never be the same. He couldn’t imagine what it felt like to have someone by your side for more than thirty years, then all of a sudden he’s not there anymore. Or to have someone kiss your cheeks whenever he came home from work, then suddenly one day, that person isn’t there anymore and the kisses are gone. He had seen her eyes light up when he spoke after entering the room, then they had died. It was as though she expected her husband and when she saw her son, she died a little more inside. For a moment there, he felt like a killer. In the room where his father lay, he placed his father into the coffin and whispered a soft prayer. Lighting incense and candles, he sat on the floor and thought back to his childhood.

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Chapter Twelve got up from where she had been seated Kianna telling Mrs. Zhi an impromptu story about a girl who honoured her family wonderfully. The older woman had been intrigued greatly by such story and though it brought a smile to her lips briefly, Mrs. Zhi could not stay awake to hear the end. Picking up the donation box that she had made out of cardboard for the funeral, Kianna searched and found Dao sitting silently on the ground. She moved in and sat down beside him, then pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He turned to look at her, then and she smiled at him. “How are you doing?” she questioned softly. “A little better.” His eyes danced at her in the dim candlelight. “You know, the first time I lit a candle around you should have been the night I am making love to you in our own bed. I didn’t want it to be a funeral candle.” Kianna smiled at him, then glanced over to the altar where candles and incense burnt. “It’s okay,” 157

Kadian Tracey she whispered. “This isn’t your fault. And besides, I am thankful that you chose me to stand by your side in this.” He wrapped an arm around her, then and hauled her into his side. Kianna moaned at his heat, “I smell funky,” she spoke softly, resting her head against him. “Is there anywhere I can take a shower?” Dao laughed softly and kissed her head. “I would hold you in my arms even if you smelt like a cesspool.” “Ugh.” Kianna socked him playfully against the thigh. He simply laughed softly. “Yeah there’s a hot springs just behind the house.” Kianna never understood why people whispered in the presence of the dead. They couldn’t hear it. Human’s knack for respecting the dead astounded her. She rubbed her hands up his back and stood. “I’ll go wash up. You can stay here…” “No, I should come with you.” Dao stood. “Was Ma sleeping?” Kianna nodded. “Okay, I’ll go in and look in on her, then we can go wash up.” Before Kianna could respond, Dao slipped from the room. She went to where their bags still sat by the door and rummaged through hers to find 158

A Lover’s Wish some things she might need. She only took out an organic body wash because she didn’t want to do any damage to the lovely country. Shaking her head, she stood and inhaled deeply. There was a difference to the air now. A slight cooling as the moon rose higher. She glanced out the window and was amazed at the loveliness of the moon. It looked bigger, fuller and more breathtaking than she could remember. Had she not looked before? “Baby, you ready?” “Mhmm,” she answered and turned to face Dao. She wanted to kiss him so badly, but she couldn’t due to respecting the home of her hosts. Blinking back her yearning, she took his outstretched hand and allowed him to lead her from the small home, past the stone where she had slept in his arms the morning before and up through some trees until they came to a lovely hole in the ground. It was large, with rocks leading down slightly to the water that heat danced lazily upward from. Kianna’s mouth watered to be in it and it seemed as though Dao was reading her mind. He began undoing her shirt from behind. When the material gave, she lifted her hands out so that he could push the clothes off. When she was fully naked, he stripped as well and led her down the path. She smiled lovingly up at him. When he lowered her into the water, she 159

Kadian Tracey moaned in satisfaction and moved into his arms. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Kianna pushed upward. “Can I please kiss you now? Is it disrespectful if I….” Dao’s lips were hungrily on her. His arms pulled her tighter, crushing her into his body. The kiss felt to Kianna as though he was drowning and she was his only way to survive. She dug into his hair, moaning and tightening her fingers. He growled and lifted her slightly. That caused her legs to spread and when he lowered her, she sat astride him. Kianna slid further into Dao’s body, her softness pressing against his naked arousal. Shifting her body, he entered her and Dao’s mouth was ripped from hers. His head tossed back, his eyes widened and he growled at the full moon. Kianna smiled as she rode him, slow at first, but as he began pushing upward and into her, her hips moved faster and faster. She whispered his name and pressed her breasts into his chest. His large hands moved down to her bum and began pushing her down against him even harder. Deeper and deeper he went until she began climaxing around him. “Oh, Kianna,” Dao whispered before kissing her savagely. “I’ve missed you…” She started pulling away from him, his arms greedily reached for and brought her back into his lap. With her back to him, Dao impaled her again. 160

A Lover’s Wish Wrapping her hair around his arm, he forced her to ride him. “Harder,” Dao whispered against her earlobe. When she complied, Dao whispered something in Cantonese, but she didn’t care what it was. It sounded so sexy that her eyes rolled into her head. A purring sound escaped her throat as her back arched until her head rested against his shoulders. When he released her hair and reached around, a satisfied smiled spread across her face as he began massaging her breasts. The nipples were hard and tender. She began trembling against him again. “Let it go, Kiki,” he growled in her ear. She clutched at his arm, digging her nails in as another orgasm stormed her body. His arms tightened around her and his mouth pressed into her neck. She knew he was going to explode. She felt it the moment it happened. He stiffened beneath her in the warm of the water. His growl tore through the air, clouding her senses further. **** Dao felt as though he had just purged his soul. He didn’t remember ever having an orgasm that powerful before and he was happy it was with Kianna. She had tightened around his arousal and Dao had literally lost his mind. She left his body weak and he craved that. He had missed her 161

Kadian Tracey terribly when his father died and he couldn’t touch her. As he held her against him, he felt her shiver so he moved his body to a lower seat in the warm water so that the water was covering her up to the neck. Then he caressed her back gently and they both sat there in silence. For a long while, he listened to his heart pounding in his ears. Emotions were welling up inside until he felt as though he was going to explode. “Kianna.” he whispered. “Yeah, babe?” “I am going to say something to you,” Dao spoke not sure if he should. “I know that this may not be what you want to hear and if it’s not, then I’m sorry, but I have to let it out.” She stiffened and turned to look up into his face. He saw fear in her eyes and wondered why she was scared. “You want to end it?” her voice cracked. “No. Not by a long shot. That poem, my friend told me that I was only supposed to use it when I met the person who I wanted to be with…the person.” “I don’t understand.” Kianna shifted again. “What I wanted to say was that Ngo oi ney, Kianna. So much that when dad died and I couldn’t bury myself within you, I almost died. I 162

A Lover’s Wish got it so bad for you that I feel being able to have you hold me again saved me from a fate that’s worse than anything I can think of. Kianna, I love you…” Silence flowed between them and Dao felt as though it had been a forever since he had confessed his love to this woman. She said nothing, but caressed his face. He wanted words, needed the words. He wished she would tell him to go to hell or something—anything. Her eyes were unreadable, her body language was on mute and he just sat there, still, stiff and dying slowly on the inside, waiting for her answer. He was on the brink of putting her away from him and walking away. “Ngo oi ney, too.” Dao laughed and wrapped her in his arms again, “You scared the crap out of me,” he admitted. “I thought you were gonna send me packing.” “The waiting is always the worse part,” she spoke with laughter in her voice. “But I love you, too. I know that now.” Dao kissed her again and the two remained where they were, in the position they were in, for another little bit before heading back. He was beginning to feel guilty that he had taken time out to be with Kianna and not remain by his mother’s side. He did not mention it to Kianna, he simply 163

Kadian Tracey looked for her towel and led her from the water. He patted her dry, then helped her dress before he dressed himself. “I’ve never had a man dress me before.” She smiled brightly at him. “Your father—did he give me his blessings?” Dao brushed a knuckle gently over her cheek. “Yes. He gave you his blessings to be my wife— but that shouldn’t pressure you into anything.” “I know…” “You should get some sleep,” Dao whispered as they walked back inside. “I want you to get some sleep.” “I know. I don’t think I could sleep.” “But you barely slept since you’ve gotten here. You took a nap in my lap so you must be tired.” She stopped at the door. Dao willingly allowed her to pull him by the front of his shirt into her arms. Wrapping his free arm around her, he kissed her, long and hard. When he lifted his head to breathe, he smiled down at her. “Please. You can sleep in my old room.” “Where are you going to sleep?” “I’ll be fine. I have some things I need to think about.” “About me?” He caressed her cheek. “Partly. But I have to think of what I’m going to do about Ma.” 164

A Lover’s Wish “She doesn’t want to leave, Dao. I don’t think you could get her to.” Dao nodded. “I know.” He kissed her. “Get some sleep, huh? She opened her mouth again. Dao just knew she was going to give him a hard time. Before she could speak again, he plunged his tongue into the heat of her mouth. She moaned and slumped against him.

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Chapter Thirteen didn’t sleep that night. He spent the night Dao praying by the candles and incense, spending

time with his father. Somewhere along the way, Dao had fallen out of touch with his culture, with his father. How had that happened? When had that happened? Guilt washed through him as he thought about it. He never once wanted to fall out of face with his father, to lose his father’s respect. Even though Lee had told Dao over and over that that wasn’t true, Dao couldn’t help feeling like a failure. Moving his body across the room, he straightened it against the hard floor and stared up at the ceiling. The hot spring had done wonders for his body, but he just knew that in the morning he would be in serious pain. He didn’t care. He needed to be next to his father for just a while longer. Growing up, his father had been his hero. Lee taught Dao everything school didn’t and after he 166

A Lover’s Wish left for Canada, Dao had somehow forgotten most of the things Lee had taught him. For the second time since his return home, tears flowed down his face. There, in the dim light of the night, Dao sobbed. It was as though he was cleansing his soul. The tears flowed for his father’s death, his mother’s withering soul and Kianna—the woman who dared to take a chance and love him back. He cried for not trying harder to get his parents out of China and closer to him. He knew that if they had lived, even in Hong Kong, he would have been able to get help sooner. Regrets. His body shook slightly until he felt as though he could not cry anymore. Dao was out of tears. Drying his face, Dao rolled to his side and closed his eyes. It took a while before he fell asleep, but when he finally did, it was not peaceful. The dreams that soared through his night were enough to make him crazy. His father was there, trying to tell him something, but no matter how hard Dao tried, he could not hear clearly what his father was saying. Frustration shot through him and from time to time, he woke up, jerking into sitting position and panting for air. Maybe that was the side effects of sleeping in the same room with a dead man that just ravished one’s mind with nightmares. 167

Kadian Tracey Pushing into standing position, he grabbed a light jacket from his bag and exited the small house. He sat on the ground beneath a small tree and stared at the house. Staring, completely and overly confused, as to what his mother saw in the place. True it was peaceful, almost serene, but he wanted her to be safe. His father would have wanted him to take care of her. Dao wanted to take care of her, but she was too proud for that. What would he do? He couldn’t build her a new place in Xingping—there wasn’t any room. He knew that his mother wouldn’t want to move, especially after his father’s death. Her mother before her wouldn’t leave Xingping after her husband’s death. Rubbing a hand over his face, Dao moaned. He was so tired, but afraid to close his eyes. So much to do and he knew he didn’t have the knowhow or time to do it all in. Getting up, he paced toward the river. He stuck his bare feet into the water and stood there. It was cool against his flesh and sent a beautiful surge of bliss running through him. “Dao?” He turned around to face her. From somewhere deep down, he found a smile and it floated across his lips with much effort. “Hey, baby.” He walked toward her and took her hand to help her down toward him. When she was standing in the water, he pulled her into his arms and held on. Once she 168

A Lover’s Wish was there, he felt alright. Smiling, he kissed her head. “Didn’t I tell you to get some sleep?” Kianna laughed. “Did you actually think I’d be able to sleep?” “I should have known.” Dao chuckled. “Come sit with me. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” “Okay,” Kianna whispered. Leading her back to the rock, he once again took her into his arms and cradled her head against his chest. “My mother,” he began slowly. “I want to take her back with us to Scarborough. She won’t want to of course…” “Of course.” “She won’t want to leave Father and she’s in no condition to be here by herself now. I don’t know what to do.” “Well, you might want to talk to her.” Kianna shrugged against him. “See what she wants. If she doesn’t want to leave, then you’re going to have to accept that she’s an adult.” “But I don’t like the idea of her being her alone now. When Dad was alive, it was different. He was here to love her and keep her. But now, with the love of her life gone, who knows what is going to happen with her.” “I know you’re worried, and truthfully so am I. I know what happened once my father lost the woman he loved with all his heart. It’s not pretty 169

Kadian Tracey so I’m starting to worry. But you can’t make her do what she doesn’t want to do.” Her words snapped him from his worry and he shifted so he could see her face. “What do you mean? What happened to your parents?” “My mother—she died. And then my father, couldn’t seem to live with the thought of not having her so he killed himself.” She shivered. Dao tightened his arms around her. “I didn’t mean to spring that on you, especially now but…” “It’s alright,” he assured her. “I asked. I’m so sorry, baby.” **** Guilin was silent. It was as though they sensed the death of a father and wanted to show their respects. As they drove through the streets toward the cemetery, it felt as though they were the only people on the planet. The burial was finally over for Dao’s father, but still an air of nostalgia lay over the small house. Kianna was sitting on Dao’s old bed, changing the film in her camera while Dao’s voice swam through to her. He was trying to convince his mother to go back with them to Canada. He wasn’t having very much luck. She could hear frustration in his voice and couldn’t say she blamed him. But Mrs. Zhi 170

A Lover’s Wish loved Lee very much, there was no mistaking that. Now that she loved Dao, Kianna thought about it and couldn’t see herself leaving if she was in Mrs. Zhi’s shoes. It just wouldn’t have happened. She would have stayed right where she was, by his side, in his spirit’s present until it was her time to die. Then it dawned on her, Jace had been right. The reason her father killed himself was because he couldn’t live without her mother. She felt like a spoiled little brat for only thinking of herself after the deaths. But even though it should be that a child buried his or her parents, Kianna still didn’t think it was right for her father to have done what he had. When the voices in the next room stopped, Kianna looked up from the camera. How long had they stopped speaking? She hadn’t noticed when the voices had stopped. Snapping the cover in place, she placed the camera on the bed and rushed from the room. She literally skidded to a stop in the room before Dao and his mother. It seemed as though they had been all talked out and were just sitting there. “What’s the verdict?” Kianna got out in Cantonese. “She’s staying here,” Dao explained in a tired voice.

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Kadian Tracey “Do not talk about me like I am not here. I am sitting right here!” Mrs. Zhi frowned as she smacked him softly against the thigh. Kianna chuckled and sat down beside Dao. There was a little light back in Mrs. Zhi’s eyes, but Kianna didn’t comment on that. “Well, Dao, you can always come visit,” Kianna pointed out. “You can afford to, right?” “That’s not the point!” “Can we not talk about this again?” Mrs. Zhi questioned. Kianna bit down on her lower lip and nodded. She glanced over at Dao and as he sat there, with his sexy self, she wanted too much to reach out and kiss his lips, to wrap her curves around his hard body and let him have his way with her. She wished she could tell him she loved him over and over with a touch, a taste, a flick of her tongue. But not in this house, never in this house. Inhaling deeply, she held the breath and stood. She squealed when Dao pulled her back against him. “I love you,” Dao whispered in her ear. He got up before she could reply and left the room on his mother’s heels. “Last chance to come with us, Ma,” Dao was speaking. “Go away, boy, you bothering me,” Mrs. Zhi tsked. 172

A Lover’s Wish Kianna giggled when Dao moaned like a six year old that didn’t get what he wanted for Christmas. Relaxing against the chair for a while, she wondered when they would be going back home. Jace must be worried sick about her since she couldn’t use Dao’s now dead cell phone to call home. Frowning, Kianna rubbed a hand over her face. Pushing from the chair, she figured she should at least help Mrs. Zhi fix dinner. “But I’m going to make sure you get groceries and a doctor every two weeks,” Dao was explaining while removing some peas from their pods. Kianna walked in silently and began helping him. “Ma, if you won’t come back with me, at least let me have the peace of mind that you’re being taken care of—can you let me have that one thing?” The older woman eyed her son warily before nodding. “Very well. I won’t like it.” “I don’t like you being here alone, but you’re going to do it anyway.” Dao spoke, irritation evident in his voice. He dropped the pod of peas he had in his hands and stalked from the room. Kianna watched him go and licked her lips before glancing over at Dao’s mother. The woman was silent, still as the grave, looking down into the pot before her. “I am trying so hard to understand 173

Kadian Tracey this and I do not mean any disrespect. Why won’t you let him help? Can’t you see he just wants to be a good son?” She said nothing. Kianna felt ignored, but said nothing else. She kept on pulling peas from their sheath and letting them fall into the bowl on the counter in front of her. She wished she still had parents and Dao had one left and was doing his best. But Mrs. Zhi doesn’t seem to want his help. That angered her, but in the same breath confused her. Every other parent she knew always spoke about that day when they no longer had to work and when their children would care for them. They all stressed the point to their children of when I get old you will have to care for me, yet the mother she stood with did not want that. “He is a good son,” Mrs. Zhi spoke. Her voice cracked from time to time and her head bowed slowly. “But I love simple. My life here is simple.” Kianna walked to stand beside her. “I understand that. No one understands simple like I do, but you aren’t as young as you used to be,” she pleaded. “He worries about you, that you won’t be able to get help. He feels guilty…” “Guilty?” “Yes.” She looked at Kianna now and Kianna smiled. “Guilty for what?” 174

A Lover’s Wish “He hasn’t said anything, but I feel that he feels guilty for not getting here faster,” Kianna explained. “I look in his eyes and I see it. I think the bottom line is, he doesn’t want that to happen a second time. So please, if you’re not going to go home with us, at least let us have groceries and a doctor come out here to you. That is not so unreasonable, is it?” Mrs. Zhi watched her silently for a while. Kianna felt as though she wanted to scream. The silence was beginning to drive her crazy. “What?” “You really love my son!” Mrs. Zhi sounded shocked at that. Kianna was about to screech, to clench her teeth, tightened her fist and scream what’s love got to do with it, but the utter disbelief in Mrs. Zhi’s eyes caught her attention. “Of course I love him.” Kianna relaxed then, watching Mrs. Zhi and came to the conclusion that Mrs. Zhi deserved to know what was happening. “I haven’t had time for men all my life, but when I met, Dao, I couldn’t stay away…do you understand?” Mrs. Zhi nodded. “It is an unbelievable pull that you just cannot understand. An urge that tugs from somewhere deep inside and you just cannot ignore it.” Kianna nodded her head shyly. 175

Kadian Tracey “I understand very well. That is the way I felt for Dao’s father since the very first moment I saw him across from me in our marriage room.” “In your marriage room? You mean, you didn’t meet him before?” Mrs. Zhi chuckled good heartedly and walked back to her pot on the stove to stir it. “No, my dear. Lee and I were arranged to be married even before I was born.” “Wow, I couldn’t imagine. I would hate him just because…” Dao’s mother laughed. “I had made up my mind to hate Lee. But there I was, standing with my veil over my face, trembling—I was so young and so terrified. But Lee, tenderly lifted my veil, pushed my chin up so that I could see his eyes. He was so handsome. He had these brown eyes that smiled down at me and I felt it that moment. Our first kiss—” she stopped and went silent. Kianna rushed to her side. “Are you alright?” “Dou je.” Mrs. Zhi nodded. “I am fine. But Lee has loved me from that moment. I could see the moment he fell in love with me dance through his eyes. Then he gave me this smile that left me breathless and then took me into his arms while I sobbed. I cried—” Mrs. Zhi laughed— “I actually cried. But he just held me, whispering things to me.” She took Kianna’s hands and patted them, “My son, is a wonderful person and ever since he 176

A Lover’s Wish was a young boy, he loved with all his heart. He’s never once brought a woman home, but he brought you. It is safe to say that he loves you and I can see now that you love him. There’s something I want you to have.” “Mrs. Zhi I can’t…” “It would be disrespectful to me if you do not accept it.” “Could I at least give you my presents first?” Kianna pleaded. Mrs. Zhi laughed. “Very well.” Kianna walked to her bags and grabbed her present, then returned to find Mrs. Zhi waiting for her. She smiled and sat down. Holding the present, beautiful candles, in both hands and offered it. Mrs. Zhi thanked her taking the present with both hands. She sniffed the candles. “My favourite scent. Thank you.” Kianna absolutely beamed. Mrs. Zhi pulled out a box and opened it. Gently, she pulled out a golden necklace with a beautiful, heart-shaped pendant, “I want you to have this.” She held up a hand when Kianna began shaking her head again. “Listen, this necklace was given to me, by my mother when I got married. She told me to one day give it to my daughter when she falls in love. 177

Kadian Tracey But as you can see, I have no daughters and at my age, will not have one. So I want you to have it.” Tears flowed down Kianna’s face, blurring the lovely piece of jewellery that meant so much to the Zhi family. With shaking hands, she took the gift with both hands and felt along it since she could no longer see it. “Let me,” Mrs. Zhi spoke. Kianna bowed her head while Mrs. Zhi attached the necklace around her neck. Then she couldn’t help herself, “I can’t help it, can I give you a hug?” “Sure, my dear.” Mrs. Zhi smiled. “Everything alright?” Dao’s voice flowed over her and Kianna sat back while drying her eyes. “Perfect.” She fondled the necklace around her neck. “Dao come here,” she called to her son. Kianna sat up straight. Mrs. Zhi placed Dao’s hand into Kianna’s. “I will be fine.” She pressed a kiss to Dao’s head. “I know you worry about me. I really know that. But you do not have to. I have that phone you sent me. Plus I can call my neighbours for help and the groceries will be coming with the doctor…” “So you’ve agreed to let that happen?” Dao questioned. Mrs. Zhi nodded and that was where the conversation ended. 178

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Chapter Fourteen a heartfelt goodbye to Mrs. Zhi, Dao After scooped Kianna into his arms and carried her to

the boat. She giggled and blushed because Mrs. Zhi was waving at them with a knowing smile. Once her feet were placed securely on the boat, Kianna waved to the old woman on the banks while Dao climbed onto the boat and wrapped an arm around her waist. She watched as he blew his mother a kiss and the boat began moving. There, in the same spot, the two stood and watched Mrs. Zhi until she was a tiny speck in the distance. Only then did Kianna look up into Dao’s face. “You miss her,” Kianna spoke. “She’s all the family I have left, Kiki.” Dao smiled down into her face. Kianna pulled into his body, trying her best to soothe him. She pressed her face against his shoulder and kissed him. She began going over in her head her own fear of losing Dao and that caused her arms to tighten around him. She 179

Kadian Tracey whimpered and pressed her face into his chest. She was terrified that he only wanted her because of his father’s death—because he was in mourning. “I have a surprise for you.” Dao’s voice caused her to lift her head. She titled backward slightly to peer into his eyes. “Really?” “I know that this wasn’t really the kind of trip to China that you were expecting,” Dao spoke and his hands began caressing up her back before resting against the small of her back. “Dao, I am just happy that I came here.” “But you haven’t had a chance to do anything. You were in mourning with me for a man you didn’t know. You’ve been my rock through all of this—” “And I’d do it again.” Dao smiled. Kianna wanted to dance. He was so utterly beautiful. At that moment, Kianna made a decision. She decided that if Dao was going to be it, she was going to enjoy him for as long as possible. She would inhale every bit of good that he could give her, the kisses, touches, lust. She would take it all. He confessed his love for her and that had caused her heart to fly, but as she stood there, she wasn’t sure. 180

A Lover’s Wish “So before we go back to the plane I’m taking you somewhere.” Kianna smiled. “Alright.” The first stop, Dao pressed his hand over her eyes and she laughed. A feeling of freedom and love surged through her as he led her off the boat and down a slight slope. She felt the change in the land. They stopped and Dao’s hard, muscular body pressed against her back. His mouth licked and nipped against her ear and Kianna shivered. “Ready for your surprise?” His hot breath blew against her flesh and Kianna moaned. Her head fell to one side. “Yes.” Her voice was breathy. Dao moved his hand. Kianna fell down slightly. His arms tightened around her hips to keep her on her feet. Before her was the Big Banyan Tree. It was said to be the oldest Banyan tree that existed anywhere in the world. “The Tree of love,” Kianna whispered. She ached to move forward to touch the bark, but didn’t think she was worthy. Her hands flew to cover her mouth in utter, blissful shock. Tearing her eyes from the tree to glance up at Dao, she looked back at the tree as tears began sliding down her cheeks. She had to delete it from her list of places to go during her planning of her China trip. She didn’t have enough money for it. 181

Kadian Tracey But then she had to give up the money for the funerals and she thought she didn’t even have a chance to float by the tree. “Thank you.” She turned to press her lips to Dao’s. “Make a wish,” he whispered. “What?” Kianna was confused. Dao took her hand and led her over to the tree. He placed her palm against the bark of the ancient tree. “In ancient times, people believed this tree was a source of great medical powers. It served the poor people that had no money to pay for a doctor when they were sick. The custom was that if you were sick you were to write a wish on a small piece of red paper and stick it to the tree, the illness would go away. Make a heartfelt wish under the tree and it just might make your dreams come true!” “But I don’t have any red paper,” Kianna pouted. “But you can still make your wish,” Dao encouraged. “Go ahead.” Nodding, weakly, Kianna turned to the tree, closed her eyes and made her wish. When she looked back at Dao, he was holding up her camera. She giggled like an excited school girl, kissed him soundly before she began snapping pictures of the tree. **** 182

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Amazed at how such a small gesture could make her so happy, Dao knew at that very moment that when he had told her he loved her, he wasn’t just saying that because it was the thing to say. He truly loved her and lived to see her happy. He watched as she made her wish, then began snapping pictures of the tree. He couldn’t believe she was so overly excited. When she was ready to leave, he wrapped an arm around her hip and walked her back to the boat. The next stop was Moon Hill about one kilometre away from the Banyan tree. Her reaction was just as excited. He watched as she sat on the boat and stared up at the large piece of natural landscape before her. Dao moved his body behind her and pulled her between his legs. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he did not speak because he didn’t know if she wanted words. Slight mists flowed across Moon Hill and Dao felt at peace. The boat swayed gently beneath their bodies as the water moved, but the boat remained in place where the boatman had attached it. It was moving like a lullaby. His mother’s voice floated to his head in the form of the sweet lullaby Mama Hao—Mama is the Best in the World. “Shi shang zhi you mama hao,” Dao sang softly against her cheek for he couldn’t help himself. 183

Kadian Tracey “You ma de hai zi xiang ge bao. Tou jin mama de huai bao. Xin fu xiang bu liao.” “That’s beautiful.” Kianna sighed. “What is it?” “It’s a lullaby that my mother used to sing to me as a child,” Dao explained. “It is in Mandarin, but roughly it’s titled, Mama is the Best in the World. It says only Mama is the best in all the world. With a mama, you have the most valued treasure. Jump into mama’s heart and you have endless happiness.” “That is lovely,” Kianna whispered. “It’s even better when my mom sings it.” Dao nipped her ear. “She has a better voice than I do.” The boat continued dancing against the water. He was happy the boatman hadn’t bothered them. After all, he had explained to the owner of the boat that he would be paid twice that which a tourist would normally pay him. That promise must have kept the man away. Dao carried Kianna off the boat because the water had risen a week ago and the land was still too slick to be walked on. “I never thought,” she whispered after a while. “That any man would think me so special as to show me such beauty.” Dao heard her voice catch in her throat and he kissed her neck. Still, he said nothing. “But this—Oh, Dao, this is utterly breathtaking.” 184

A Lover’s Wish “I’m glad you like it,” Dao told her softly. He nuzzled her neck with his lips and nose. He needed to be against her in that serene moment. “Any man that doesn’t treat you like a queen, Kiki, doesn’t deserve you.” “Dao.” She lifted a hand and caressed his face. “You are too sweet.” “But I am dead serious.” She moaned and turned to lift her lips to his. He accepted the kiss, his hand stroking her stomach, then up over a breast. He felt the nipple tighten beneath his fingers and groaned. Reluctantly, he lifted his head. “I hope that made up for the horrible trip you’ve had, Kiki.” She smiled into his eyes and stroked his head. “It wasn’t a horrible trip, but this just made it even better.” **** By the time they made it to Guilin again, it was too late to fly anywhere. Kianna sat at the large table in their plus room and stared over at Dao who was sitting across from her. He was silent again and it scared her. “You’re silent.” she whispered before lifting her chopsticks to her lips. “I’m sorry,” Dao whispered. “Still a little worried about Ma.” 185

Kadian Tracey “I understand.” Kianna nodded truthfully before placing her chopsticks across the top of her bowl and rose from the table. She meant to walk away, but Dao caught her hand. Turning, she looked down at where they had met and sighed. There was a strange silence in the room that Kianna wondered about. The touch of his hand sent a surge or electricity through her body at lightning speed. “Dao,” she called quietly. He didn’t answer, but lifted her hand to his lips, kissing each finger, then her palms. He pulled her closer to him before sitting her down on his lap. Without a word, he kissed her. He allowed his tongue to be plunged into the heat of her mouth and Kianna was helpless under his tender assault. Whimpering, she wrapped an arm around his neck and deepened the kiss. She was taken in by his mouth and when the kiss ended, she wanted to cry. His tongue washed against her neck while his free hand began unbuttoning her shirt. When it was open, Dao’s hand shoved her bra away to caress her nipple lovingly. Growling, he pushed away his food, causing the plates to scatter against the ground, but neither paid any attention to the mess. He placed her on the table and leant forward to tease her hardened nipple with his tongue. 186

A Lover’s Wish “Oh my.” She gasped for air and licked her lips, trying to come to grips with the absolutely delicious feelings that were storming her body. She arched inward, to press more of her breast into his mouth, but he simply moved to the other breast. He teased it, tormented it, and licked it. He was so good at it that her legs began shaking uncontrollable. She braced the soles of her feet to the side of his chair and rocked her body against his mouth. His hands were busy pushing her shirt from her shoulder and undoing the zipper on her skirt. She felt her body lifting, but paid no attention. Soon she was fully naked and he was feasting from her moist folds. **** Dao did not need words to tell her he wanted her—needed her. All he had to do was touch her and Kianna seemed to melt into him. The way she looked at him told him she knew exactly what he wanted. Tenderly, he became a part of her and as his hips dipped deeper, he kissed at her neck and ears. Making love to her wasn’t out of pure physical urges, but it felt as though he had to. She sat in his lap, impaled on him with a leg on either side of his body. He held her as though she was fragile against his body and each time her world evaporated 187

Kadian Tracey around him, he felt her shiver and heard her gasp. The second time it happened, she bit down against his shoulder. He growled against the pain of it, but then her tongue flowed over the tender flesh, leaving him gasping for dear air. Finally, he came undone—he couldn’t hold off anyone longer. Luckily, he was sitting down with her cuddled against him.

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A Lover’s Wish

Chapter Fifteen at work, Kianna stopped and grabbed Dao’s Back mail. She stopped to get a cup of coffee, then entered his office, closing the door behind her. When she walked in, he looked up and gave her a lopsided grin. “This is not going to work,” he told her while standing and walking toward her. “You firing me or are you breaking up with me?” Kianna questioned, placing her coffee cup down on his desk. “Neither,” he whispered. She fell against his chest when he took her arm and pulled gently. The mail she carried fell to the floor, but he ignored it. “I can’t go through my day without kissing you.” “You kissed me this morning,” Kianna pouted while eyeing the mail on the floor. “Shouldn’t we get those?” 189

Kadian Tracey “Not yet…do you know what a turn on it is for man to work with the woman he loves?” That surprised her for she was fully expecting him to dump her. A smile danced across her lips. She looked up into his face. She lifted her hands to cradle his face and giggled when he spanked her softly against one bum cheek, then the other. She arched a brow with a grin, “Spanking, Dao Zhi?” she teased. The phone began ringing. He ignored it and took her lips. She moaned and melted into his chest. She loved the feeling of his lips against hers, his taste. “Why don’t we take the rest of the day off?” Dao questioned. “There are some things I need to talk to you about.” Kianna sighed and stepped back from his arms. She stopped and picked up the letters, trying hard not to think about what he wanted to speak with her about. He had explained he wasn’t dumping her, but her self-esteem wasn’t having anything to do with his explanations. She began fussing over the dropped letters. “Give me those,” Dao took them from her fingers and led her to the sofa. “We need to talk about what happens next, Kianna. The world isn’t ending.” “Maybe not for you!” Kianna snapped. “I knew this was too good to be true. I mean you take me 190

A Lover’s Wish to China and you were so sweet in buying me a camera and introducing me to your mother and touching me like—like—” She stopped as tears toppled down her cheeks. “You touched me like you really did care and you told me you loved me and I believed you!” She rambled on and on because she couldn’t stop herself. The words just seemed to want to topple from her lips. She felt used, betrayed and scared. She felt alone and prayed that no one else in the world ever had to feel like she was feeling at that very moment. “It’s okay. It’s my fault.” Kianna tried to get up. Dao yanked her back into the soft folds of the sofa. He trapped her there with his body. “Please, just let me go.” “I can’t,” Dao whispered. There was sadness in his voice and Kianna looked up into his eyes, trying to find out why. “Why are you sad? You’re breaking my soul, you have no right to be sad!” she flung at him. “Is that what you think of me?” Dao questioned softly. “Is that what you think I’m doing to you? You think that I would break you so badly as to break your soul? Is that the kind of monster you think I am?” Kianna said nothing. “Speak, Kianna. I need to know. Is that what you think of me?” Kianna lifted her chin proudly. “Yes.” 191

Kadian Tracey Dao nodded. “I should have known that I couldn’t turn a scared little girl into a grown woman.” She saw something die inside Dao’s eyes. She felt like a murderer. When he released her, Dao stood, picked up the letters she had brought in earlier and left the office. She did not know what to take from that. She bowed her head and pressed her face into her hands, trying hard to stop the tears that poured down her face. But she couldn’t dry them fast enough. What had just happened between her and Dao? Her ringing telephone dragged her from her stupor and she grabbed it. It was the photofinishing place telling her she could pick up the pictures. Kianna thought the trip to the store would clear her mind of what had just happened—of the fact that she had just broken Dao’s heart. As she sat across from her best friend that night, she was still wondering. “I mean what in the hell did he have to be so bloody angry about? I was the one that was being dumped.” “Did he say he was dumping you?” Jace wanted to know. The two of them each had a container of chocolate ice cream in their hands. “He didn’t have to say it.” Kianna stuck a spoonful into her mouth. “I saw it coming. If 192

A Lover’s Wish anything, he should be thanking me. He didn’t have to dump me. I helped him!” “You jumped to a conclusion again, Kiki,” Jace pushed. “Admit it. You have no idea why he wanted to talk to you. So naturally you think that he’s about to dump you.” “What the hell? You’re supposed to be on my side!” “Not when you do something this stupid!” Jace fired. “You listen to me. Wake up and smell the dirty gym sock, Kiki! Dao Zhi is in love with you. I saw it the moment you introduced me to him. I saw it in the way he wrapped one arm around your waist possessively, the way he stole kisses from you so that everyone could see. The way he stared at you when he thought no one was looking—I’m a best friend, I’m supposed to see these things. I’m supposed to be the one to weed out the assholes that will break your heart. I’m supposed to be the one to keep you from messing the good things up. You are some kind of stupid, Kianna. Don’t let this man walk out of your life because you’re scared.” Jace stood. “Where are you going?” “I’m going home,” Jace spat, walking for the kitchen to put away the ice cream. “I can’t just sit here and listen to you let go the one bit of happiness you’ve ever had—” Jace disappeared into the kitchen, but soon returned with her jacket 193

Kadian Tracey and car keys. “Do you have any idea how many women out there would kill to have a man like Dao?” “Then let them have him.” Kianna dug into her ice cream again. Jace shook her head, “You will never find another man that loves you as much as Dao does and you’re just gonna give him up without a fight. I said it before and I’m going to say it again. You’re some kinda stupid.” “Have you ever seen the moon at night?” Kianna questioned. “What’re you talking about?” Jace asked. “There’s nothing there.” “That’s my point!” Kianna sat up fully. “There’s nothing there. Don’t you think that’s a little weird? I mean, there’s a moon. There’re stars!” “Kiki! What’s wrong?” “What’s wrong? What’s wrong is the fact that there isn’t a moon. You can’t see it. Why? Because some morons decided to go home and leave all their bloody lights on. It’s so bright that you can’t even see the most romantic creation ever.” Silence tore between the two women. Kianna frowned at her sudden outburst and flopped against the lounge chair. She felt stiff, stale and at a standstill. She felt alone, confused and just useless. Everything lately was a test of her limited patience. When had she become so angry 194

A Lover’s Wish and impatient? She was normally a lot more tolerable and the moon was just one more of those annoying things that drove her nuts. “Aside from the obvious, what the hell is wrong with you?” Jace pushed. “You’ve been a real bitch lately, ever since you came back from China. I think I really should go home.” “Jace…” “Drop it, Kiki. You obviously aren’t in the mood for company tonight. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Kianna allowed her friend to leave and Jace slammed the door so hard that Kianna jerked upward into a standing position. Long after Jace’s engine died in the distance, Kianna still stood where she had risen. She felt as though her life was one big mess. I should have known that I couldn’t turn a scared little girl into a grown woman. Those words were hurtful and she wished she could smack them back down his throat. How dare he call her a little girl? But why was she so angry? Jace was right, she had jumped to conclusion—again. Ever since she was a little girl, she had been jumping to the wrong conclusions. Each time something good happened, she automatically assumed that it was going to go wrong. Her parents were not the best parents and after her brother’s death, they had spent three 195

Kadian Tracey years in a shell away from her. Then slowly they emerged and tried to be parents to her once more. Things were going well until they died. Kianna inhaled deeply and her heart throbbed with that simple, necessary action. She walked back into the house and to her bedroom. **** Dao Zhi stood by his window and stared out. The woman he had loved so dearly, so completely thought he would rip her heart out. He felt like a butcher, even though he did not have any intentions of letting her go. Why could she not see that he loved her too much for that? He would give everything up just to hold her again, but she wasn’t ready—that wasn’t what she wanted. His telephone began ringing and he tried to ignore it. The ringing wouldn’t go away though. He frowned and picked it up, “What?” he grumbled into the receiver. “Dao?” His eyes pressed shut as pain tore through him, “Why are you haunting me, Kianna? What have I done to you?” “I’m sorry, Dao. Can I please come see you?” “Why? So you can accuse me of hurting you again?” “No, Dao, please…” 196

A Lover’s Wish Dao bit down against his lower lip. When it came to Kianna, he had no control. He could never deny her anything that he thought would make her happy. If she had been any other woman, any of the others he had dated but hadn’t bothered making a commitment to, he wouldn’t have cared. But Kianna was the one. He had prayed, wished, hoped she was the woman to settle him down and start a family with. How could he deny her the chance to come to him? There was no logical answer to that. He knew her coming over would only end in heartache, but still he said, “Fine.” He hung up the phone. A loud knock caused him to swing around to face the direction of his front door. He glanced down at the phone and arched a brow. He didn’t think that was Kianna, unless she was superwoman there was no way she could have reached his house from hers already. The knock came again and that got Dao’s feet unglued and sent him walking down the stairs toward the front door. He yanked the front door open to see Kianna standing there, “How’d you…” Kianna waved the cell phone at him, “Can I come in?” Dao nodded and reluctantly stepped aside. When he had seen her there, he felt awkward. Every moment since their return from China when they saw each other, he would take her in his 197

Kadian Tracey arms. He would kiss her until he couldn’t breathe. He would kiss her until his head swirled and his knees threatened to buckle. But after their argument, he did not know what to do, how to act around her. He watched her walk by him into the house and as he closed the door, images of her body writhing against his popped into his mind. But Dao knew that he couldn’t let himself go there. He couldn’t let himself back into that position where he needed to hold her. Dao wanted to hold her. “Would you like something to drink?” “No thank you,” she whispered before flopping down into the sofa. She looked tired and as though she had been crying. An overwhelming feeling to hold her, soothe her surged through him and Dao had to sit on his hands to keep himself away. “What do you want, Kianna?” “I want—I want to know that you really love me,” she admitted. “I am scared that you only want sex and then you’re gone.” “You’re telling me that my word means nothing to you,” it was a statement rather than a question. “When I told you that I love you so much that the thought of living without you hurts me, that means nothing to you. To you, those are just words.” Kianna shook her head. “That’s not it. I’ve never had anyone love me, intimately. I have no 198

A Lover’s Wish idea how to act around you when it comes to deep feelings.” “How exactly is that my fault?” Dao inquired. “I-I don’t know,” Kianna stuttered. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” Dao rubbed his eyes before looking at her again. “So let me get this straight,” he began slowly. “I tell you I love you and you freak. I tell you we need to talk about what happens next, you freak and now you want me to say I’m sorry? Is that it?” “No! That’s not it.” “So you think I lied to you when I told you I loved you? Tell me the truth!” “Yes,” she whispered. That one word raked at Dao’s soul. His fist curled at his sides and he had to fight hard to avoid yelling his frustration for everyone to hear. This whole situation was starting to make him mad. “So why are you here?” Dao couldn’t deal anymore. “Why are you here when you don’t believe anything I say—when you can’t believe anything I say?” “Because I want to,” Kianna pleaded. “I want to believe everything you say. Isn’t that enough?” Dao shook his head. “No. It’s not enough. It can never be enough.” He pushed off the sofa and Kianna’s hands gripped his arm. He stumbled back against the seat. 199

Kadian Tracey “Why not?” “Because!” Dao yelled, then caught himself. “Because every time I tell you I love you or every time I buy you a gift for no reason, you’re going to be sitting there analyzing what it means. You’re going to not trust my words and I’m going to see that look of disbelief in your eyes. You question my honour, Kianna, and that’s all I have left that’s worth anything.” “But that’s not true!” “Kianna, I love you!” “No you don’t!” “That, Kianna,” Dao spoke softly. “That right there is what I meant. You claim you trust me yet you won’t believe that I love you. How can you trust someone, but not their words? That makes no sense to me.” Kianna couldn’t answer. “Come on, Kianna,” Dao pleaded gripping her shoulders and shaking her slightly as though trying to make her come to her senses. “Make me understand. Explain it to me because as God is my witness I want to so bad.” Kianna remained silent. Her mouth opened, but nothing left her lips. Dao nodded and allowed his arms to fall back to his side. “You need to leave now—” Those last five words were the hardest he had ever had to utter. It was like pushing away your heart, 200

A Lover’s Wish denying himself life. He was slowly dying inside. Somewhere along the way, Dao had fallen in love with Kianna so completely that he didn’t even know what hit him. “I don’t want to go,” Kianna spoke defiantly. “I don’t want to leave you.” “What do you want from me? All I can give you now is money. I have nothing else that is worth anything.” “I don’t want your money!” “Then I have nothing for you!” Dao snapped back. “I have nothing!” He meant to walk away but she stood and pressed herself against his chest. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and buried her face against his chest. He tried to push her off him, but she clung tightly. He fought to get her away from him, to keep her curves from being wrapped with his body. “Kianna…” “Please don’t send me away,” Kianna whispered. “Make love to me instead. I love you, but I am terrified. Help me release, Dao.” “I can’t help you,” Dao felt his voice caught in his throat. “I can’t help you. I don’t know how.”

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Chapter Sixteen caressed Dao’s back, pulling even closer Kianna into his warmth. His words were husky and

filled with pain. The only other man’s voice she had heard so sad was her father’s when he spoke about the death of her mother. She lifted her face from his chest, cradled his face and looked up into his eyes. She caressed his cheeks before pushing up on her tiptoes. Without hesitating, Kianna brushed her lips against his. She felt his body tense. She rubbed her tongue against his lower lip before nipping at his upper lip. She felt him tremble against her and she took that opportunity to let her tongue slip into his mouth. The kiss started out soft, almost like a wisp of air flowing around them. She closed her eyes and tried to deepen the kiss, but Dao took her shoulders. At first she thought he was going to push her away, but then he took over the kiss. It 202

A Lover’s Wish was rough, desperate and filled with enough passion and fire that Kianna whimpered weakly. She spread her lips for him and he conquered her mouth. Their tongues danced together, sending torrents of electricity through her. When he lifted his head, she moaned and opened her heavy eyelids. “Make love to me, Dao.” Something in his eyes made her slip from her coat and let it pool to the floor behind her. She began undoing her top, but Dao reached in and pulled at her shirt. The sound of ripping material swirled around her, but she couldn’t pull her eyes from Dao’s. His mouth went down savagely against her neck and all she could manage was his name. She licked her dry lips and turned her head to drop a kiss against his head. His hot, wet tongue danced against her flesh. She reached up and buried her fingers into his hair. “Dao,” she whispered over and over again. His mouth moved around and kissed at her pulse before he rained kisses over the swells of her breasts. Her head fell backward. Her mouth hung open, but no sound left her body. Her eyes widened in unbridled pleasure for his mouth had engulfed one of her breasts. She tightened her fingers in his hair as his arms stole around her waist. Her back bent slightly backward as his mouth moved back to hers, rougher against hers. 203

Kadian Tracey She felt her feet leaving the ground and knew he was picking her up. Dao Zhi isn’t just any man. He carried her up the stairs and placed her gently against his bed. She watched him as he stripped for her. Slowly, intoxicatingly, teasingly as each bit of clothes left his sleek body and fell to the ground. She rolled to her knees and tried to touch him, but Dao pulled her hands away from his body. Gasping, she glanced up into his eyes and was even more turned on at the way they danced down at her. He had mystery in them and she smiled. He pushed her backward against the bed while climbing astride her body. When he bowed his head and took her nipple into his mouth, she arched upward against him. With her mind gone, Kianna allowed the man she loved to take her. She made sounds in the back of her throat to encourage him and spurred him on. As he moved down her body, she tangled her fingers in his hair. His tongue dipped between her moist folds and stars went off behind her eyelids. Her legs fell weakly against the bed and her body jerked in relish of the pleasures that flowed through her. Long strokes of his tongue left her trembling and gasping for air. “Dao!” she cried out. He replied to her cries by adding speed to his tongue against the jewel of her desires. 204

A Lover’s Wish **** Dao tasted from her eagerly. He had been starving for her and having her lying below him like she was, turned him into a ravenous beast. He growled greedily, sucking against the small, hard bud he found between the thick, moist folds. When her legs clamped against the sides of his head, he knew she was about to explode. He added pressure to the bud before sucking it into his mouth. His name was ripped from her lips and he took great pleasure in that. His name from her lips was like a symphony to his ears—a beautiful symphony. He played her like a fine tuned harp, taking a soothing love from the sounds she made. Her fingers tightened in his hair and a smile graced his lips before he licked his lips and crawled up her body. He untangled her fingers from his hair and laced his fingers with hers. Pressing her hands back against the pillow, he looked down into her eyes, found her entrance with his arousal and entered her swift and hard. Her eyes widened, he watched her pupils dilate and her mouth sprang open. No sound left her lips, but she didn’t break eye contact with him. Harder, faster his hips rolled against her. Looking in her eyes, watching the different emotions racing through those big orbs 205

Kadian Tracey made Dao feel so manly his hips began slamming against hers. When she climaxed, he could see it in her eyes and that was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He leaned in and took her lips. Without warning, his body erupted within hers. His head lifted sharply away from hers, his hair brushed his back as he growled. “I love you, Dao,” Kianna whispered. He felt her mouth against his chest, over a still taut nipple and Dao’s body jerked. His arms gave out and he fell against the bed beside her. “Kianna look into my eyes,” Dao spoke. He waited until she rolled with a moan to face him. “Say it again.” “I love you.” “I know you do,” Dao nodded and swallowed. “I know you do. The problem is if you believe that I love you.” She nodded and when her hand lifted to caress his face, she pushed some hair from his eyes. “I know now you love me, ” she whispered. A tear rolled down her cheeks and Dao used a large finger to wipe it away. “The day I woke up and hurried to my parent’s home, my father was explaining to me that my mother was dead. I knew no matter their faults, they loved each other dearly, more than life itself. The sound of your voice when you asked me to leave was the same sound as my father’s voice.” 206

A Lover’s Wish Excitedly, Dao pushed to his elbows and cradled her face. “I love you. I love you,” he whispered over and over until her body shook with sobs. Then tenderly, he bowed his head and took her lips. The kiss wasn’t because he had a choice. The kiss was out of necessity. The kiss was for soothing and loving. “After my father killed himself, I hated him for it.” Dao pulled her into his arms. “I blamed him for leaving me alone and for taking my dreams. The dreams weren’t to make millions of dollars or to find prince charming, I just wanted to travel and I lost that dream. But I never once considered that he had no idea how to live without my mother. Jace tried to explain it to me, but I didn’t care—I didn’t want to listen to her. But I know now how my father felt. He must have felt alone, desperate, confused and scared as hell. Can you imagine loving someone your whole life—then one day, poof! She’s gone. Just like that with no explanation. How do you mourn and move on from that? How do you move on from kissing this person good morning for almost forty years to nothing?” Dao listened to her confession. He let her talk all she wanted about her father and became a sponge for her. He held her while she snaked a finger over his chest in an absentminded fashion, 207

Kadian Tracey not to tease, but because she needed to do it. From time to time, he kissed her head and when she went silent, he spoke, “It must have been wonderful to love someone like that. I can’t promise that I love you that much, but I do know that it comes damn close. It almost killed me to ask you to leave when all I wanted to do was hold you and never let you go.” “I know you don’t love me that much yet.” Kianna inhaled deeply. “It’s only natural that it grows, right?” “Right,” Dao spoke softly. “But I can promise you one thing, I want it to grow into a love more powerful than your parents because you deserve that and so much more.” “Have I told you today what a wonderful man I think you are, Dao Zhi?” She smiled. That smile caused Dao’s world to break out into a world of glorious light. “Not today.” He smirked up at her. “Well—” She kissed him on the forehead, then his lips. “You are a very wonderful man and I love you.” **** Kianna’s head was against Dao’s chest as the morning light floated in through the bedroom window. One of his arms was wrapped around 208

A Lover’s Wish her and she had her leg tossed over his. She looked up and kissed his chin, causing her to grin. His beard had grown overnight and his chin was rough. She caressed his chest, tweaking a nipple. When he inhaled deeply, she lifted her body to see that he was still asleep. Kianna moved her body and pressed her face into his neck. Inhaling deeply, she wondered what would happen next. She hadn’t meant to sleep there the whole night. Her mind began firing. Had she overstayed her welcome? That thought scared her for she had never spent the night at his place before—except for China and she hadn’t really gotten much sleep there. She tried to get up, but Dao’s arms tightened around her hips. “What’s wrong?” his voice was sleepy. “I felt you tense.” She turned to face him. “Did I overstay my welcome, Dao?” His eyelids flew open when she asked her question. His brown eyes focused on her, unreadable. “This house, Kianna, is now yours, if you wish it so.” As he told her this, he lifted his head to place his arm behind it. “Don’t move.” He scooted from the bed and walked his naked body out the door. Before he disappeared though, Kianna watched the way his muscles flowed over his body. Sleek, sexy muscled thighs, back, and legs—she loved 209

Kadian Tracey that about him. When he walked back in, she looked away shyly and heard him chuckle. The next thing she knew, he was lifting her chin while he knelt down before her. “Remember when I left you to get ready in the hotel in Hong Kong?” “Uh-huh.” “I didn’t tell you the truth about where I was going.” He produced a box that was wrapped in beautiful red paper and held it up to her. “I went to get this. I wanted to ask you in China, but I didn’t think it was right. I wanted to talk to you about it in my office earlier, but you—” “Freaked and ran.” Dao smiled and nodded. “Here, open it.” With trembling fingers, she accepted the package. It was small. She ripped into the paper and a red, velvet box fell into her palm. She looked into his eyes and he smiled. “Go on,” he encouraged. Her hand shook uncontrollably as she flipped the box open, then her eyes widened. There in the box was a ring with a lovely Jade stone. “Would you be my girlfriend, Kianna? I know it’s not a diamond, but I want to do this right. Take you on dates and all that stuff. I don’t want to screw it up.” Tears flowed down her face as she listened to his words and before he could say anything else, 210

A Lover’s Wish she wrapped her arms around his neck. She held on tightly as he rubbed her back and she sobbed. She was so happy that she could not control it. When he asked her not to move and left the room, a slight bit of fear ran through her, but she had sat there, waiting. “Yes,” she spoke, her mouth against his hair. “I would love to be your woman.” “Can I put the ring on your finger?” “Ring? Oh!” She sat back against the bed and glanced down at her hands. “Which finger do you put a girlfriend ring on?” Dao kissed her ring finger before sliding the beautiful ring against it. She giggled, squealed and dove for his chest again.

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Chapter Seventeen ao glanced down at clock and frowned. Kianna Dwas going to strangle him. It wasn’t late as yet,

but he knew with his next meeting he was going to be late. As he rushed from the office, past BethAnn’s empty desk, he hurried for the elevator. While he jabbed a finger against the elevator button, he yanked his cell phone from his hip. Dialling Kianna’s number, he waited for her to answer. “Hello?” a familiar voice came from the other side, but it wasn’t Kianna. “Jace, it’s Dao.” “Hey, you! What’s up? What time are you coming?” “Erm, can I talk to Kiki?” Jace chuckled. “You in trouble!” Dao grinned. “Hold on, I’ll get her.”

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A Lover’s Wish There was a ruffling sound from the other end of the line, then Jace yelling on the phone that Kiki’s lover was on the phone. “Hey, baby? You okay?” “I’m fine. Listen, I’m going to be a little late. I have to stop for this meeting that I put off while I was in China.” “Well,” Kianna gasped. “Someone won’t be getting any booty tonight.” “Oh come on, girl,” Dao chuckled. “Oh alright. I’ll see you later. We’ll watch a movie until you get here. Deal?” The elevator came and Dao stuck his foot into the door to keep it open so it wouldn’t leave him to wait for it to come again, “I’ll make it up to you. I swear.” Kianna laughed. “Oh trust me. You will.” After telling her he loved her, Dao hung up the phone and dashed into the elevator. He hooked the phone back against his belt and bit his lower lip. He had missed out on so many meetings while he was in China. But he would do it again in a heartbeat. Family came first over business. A person can always rebuild their business, but once a family was gone, it was gone. The ride came to a smooth end and he stepped from the elevator. “Goodnight, Mr. Zhi!” the guard called and Dao stopped and walked over to him. 213

Kadian Tracey “Jason,” Dao arched a brow. “How long have you been working here nights? I remember you were working in the evenings.” “I need the money,” Jason Tilman explained. “I’m going back to school and I have to pay for it somehow.” “You go to school full time or part time?” “Full time,” Jason shrugged. “When do you sleep?” Jason laughed. “Sleep’s overrated.” Dao nodded for in school he had told his mother that same thing. But in the same breath, if Jason was too tired, he would not manage in school. “What are you going to school for?” “Bachelor degree in music,” Jason shrugged. “I tried the whole music industry thing, it bit me so I’m going in to be a music teacher.” “So you’re doing teacher’s college after you’re finished your degree.” Jason nodded. “Alright listen.” Dao rummaged through his pocket and handed Jason a card. “I’ll talk to someone and have them find someone to take your shifts. Come see me Monday morning and bring your demo. If that doesn’t work, I’ll find another job for you to do. Because working nights while going to school full-time is not healthy.” Jason laughed and took the card happily. “Thank you.” 214

A Lover’s Wish Leaving the building, Dao drove for his meeting, wondering what he would have done if his father was anything like Jason’s. Jason’s father was doing a life sentence for a homicide and his mother had taken off the first chance she got. Dao did a detailed background search on each person that worked in the Red Dragon building. He made sure he knew about everyone. If he could lend a hand to Jason to help him in anyway, he would. The kid did not want to continue the deadbeat cycle and Dao for one, would support that. He glanced at the time again and sighed. He was definitely late. By the time the meeting was over, it was almost eight in the evening. He stopped and picked up some flowers as his apology and then sped all the way home. When he opened the door and stepped in, the aroma of Chinese food assaulted his senses and he tried to remember the last time he had homemade Chinese food out of China. He couldn’t. Living on his own, he didn’t order in, but he cooked Canadian food or protein bars. Smiling, he entered the kitchen where Kianna was speaking to Jace over a bottle of wine and pressed a kiss to Kianna’s lips. He moaned for her lips tasted delicious. Forcing himself to behave, he kissed Jace’s cheek. “Sorry I’m late.” He handed 215

Kadian Tracey Kianna a bouquet of roses, but not before removing one and handing it to Jace. “He is a sweet talker, this one.” Jace sniffed the rose. Dao smirked. “Why thank you.” “Thanks for the flowers.” Kianna smiled. He watched as she got up to place them in a vase before he spoke. “I’m going to change. Then I promise we can have dinner.” When she nodded, he excused himself and darted up the stairs. He changed quickly into a pair of blue jeans and a black dress shirt before hurrying back. “Okay, ladies.” He clapped his hands together with a goofy grin. “Feed me.” Kianna laughed and motioned for him to sit at the table where she had been sitting, she was busy setting up for dinner with Jace. He insisted on helping them and when everything was set, they all sat down. He kissed Kianna’s neck in thanks and picked up his chopsticks. “How in the world do you use these?” Jace wanted to know. Dao watched as his lady, his queen reached in to teach her friend how to use the long sticks to eat with. He chewed and smiled. “This is hard.” “Not really, once you get used to it,” Dao explained. 216

A Lover’s Wish Jace made a face. “Well I’ve never used them before.” The piece of chicken she was picking up went flying when the chopsticks slipped. Dao laughed. “It’s alright, Jace, you can use a fork.” “I told her that earlier,” Kianna spoke. “But she never listens.” “It’s not that I never listen,” Jace piped in with her tongue stuck out the corner of her mouth in concentration. “I am just stubborn.” Dao laughed. “You’re telling me.” Kianna grinned. At that moment Dao’s telephone began ringing. He looked up and made to ignore it. He was already late and didn’t want Kianna to feel as though he was choosing his job over her. That wasn’t the case and besides, who called a house so late? He didn’t have time to muse over it because Kianna got up and answered it. “Hello, Zhi residence!” she chimed. “Oh, hi…One second—Dao?” Dao frowned, but stood. As he took the phone from her hand, he kissed her nose before pressing it to his ears. “Hello?” “What woman do you have answering your phone!” the masculine voice wanted to know. Dao shook his head. “You’ve never brought any of them home long enough to answer your phone. What is going on?” 217

Kadian Tracey “Hey, stranger! You missed a lot since you’ve been away. What? The telephone hadn’t been discovered in Paris?” Dao leant against the wall. “I deserved that,” Claude St. Pierre muttered. “Things haven’t necessarily been the greatest over on my end. I spent way too much time in a cramped office trying to figure out how to—look it’s a very long story, one that I don’t want to go into over the phone. I wanted to come see you tonight. But I guess you have a guest.” “You know you’re always welcome,” Dao spoke, arching a brow. “You alright?” “Yeah…I’ll be over in about one hour? I’ll explain it all then.” “Alright, I’ll be here,” Dao assured before hanging up. He walked back to the table and sat down, “We’re going to have one extra for dinner. He’s a friend of mine from back in the day.” “Wow, he has friends.” Kianna giggled. Dao gave her a wickedly hot look in promise of retaliation later. Dinner was the most amazing meal he had had in years. Nothing after leaving home, China, had prepared him for the rampant loneliness that had consumed him. He was happy, overly so, that he was with the woman he loved and her friend who were busy chatting with him and laughing. 218

A Lover’s Wish Laughter, it had been so long that there was a woman’s laughter in his home. He had forgotten how lovely the sound was to have a lover laugh. He smiled and picked up Kianna’s hand to press a kiss to her wrist. Silence fell over them as he did that. It was interrupted by Jace. “Aww!” She grinned happily. Dao opened his mouth to speak, but the doorbell chimed, breaking the spell and slipping into his thoughts. “Sit,” Kianna demanded as she placed her napkin on the table. “You’ve had a long day.” Dao smiled at her and watched her hips as she walked toward the door. He wanted to take her up the stairs as her perfectly rounded hips danced before his eyes. A low sound rumbled from his throat before he could stop it. “Down boy,” Jace joked. Dao smiled and tore gaze eyes from Kianna’s body. “I really love her, Jace. I never thought I could, but I really do love her.” “I see it in your eyes, Dao. You may try to hide it, but you fail miserably. Just now, you growled at her.” Dao laughed, but couldn’t reply as Kianna walked back into the room with Claude quickly on her heels. “I think this belongs to you,” Kianna beamed. 219

Kadian Tracey Dao rose from his seat with open arms. He hugged Claude tightly, squeezing his friend for it had been a while since he had seen Claude. “Whoa, you could have told me you had two lovely ladies with you.” Claude pulled back. “Sorry. Claude St. Pierre, meet my lovely girlfriend, Kianna, and her friend, Jace,” Dao explained. “Well.” Claude kissed Kianna’s hand, then turned to do the same to Jace. “I don’t know how you put up with him, but if you want to leave…” Dao simply chuckled before offering his friend a seat. **** Being introduced as his girlfriend was so new to Kianna that when he had said it, she had glanced behind her to see if there was someone standing there. She smiled at Claude and as they sat down and talked for a while, she felt included. Dao had not hesitated when introducing her as his girlfriend and that made her so proud that he loved her so dearly. Even hours later when she was in the swimming pool with Jace and Dao spoke with Claude on the deck drinking a beer, she was still beaming. “What do you think of Claude?” Jace wanted to know. 220

A Lover’s Wish “He’s sexy.” Kianna grinned. “He has that lovely, French accent that just makes you wanna purr.” “Lay off, lady,” Jace grinned. “You like him…” Jace shrugged. “It’s too early to say that. Like is such a strong word. I just like what I see when I look at him. And besides, he’s Dao’s friend, he can’t be that bad. Can he?” Kianna glanced over at Claude and thought about the question. Claude was a lovely man. He reminded her of a model with large body, jet black hair and green eyes. He spoke as though he was educated and from the looks of it, Claude had money. But Kianna knew that Jace didn’t care for that. “Well, if you’re going to go for it, you should do it soon,” Kianna advised. “From his accent, I’d say he doesn’t spend much time in Canada.” “He could be from Quebec.” Kianna nodded. “That is also true. But if you want, he’s staying here tonight. Dao has tons of room and you know he likes you. So you can stay and I can talk to Dao about him.” “You would do that for me?” Jace questioned. “Of course!” Jace squealed and flew at Kianna in a hug. “You ladies alright?” Dao and Claude asked, leaping from their chairs. 221

Kadian Tracey Kianna was sinking slightly in the deep of the water from Jace’s weight, but was happy when the men spoke and Jace let go. She treaded water and nodded. “Fine!”

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Chapter Eighteen snuggled into the pillow and watched Kianna Dao as he stripped. As a young girl, she had

imagined having a man to love her and she would watch him while he prepared for bed. Her dreams would go further to where he would crawl into bed and make love to her until she couldn’t stand it. But the man before her and the one from her dream were so different it was scary. The man in her dreams was African American, sexy and sculpted. The man of her dreams was a brotha with some cash and a job that he had to work nine to five every week. But Dao Zhi was Asian, sculpted with his own business. When Dao removed his pants and boxers, Kianna couldn’t help herself. She smirked and whistled. When he laughed and crawled into bed, she squealed happily as he pressed a kiss against her neck. “Stop that,” she chided. “I need to talk to you about something.”

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Kadian Tracey Dao inhaled against her skin, causing her to giggle for it tickled, but lifted his head. He moaned and flopped against the bed. “It’s nothing bad,” she whispered. “It’s about Claude.” Dao pushed onto his elbow to meet her eyes. “You don’t like him?” “No! That’s not it.” Kianna reached in to kissed Dao’s chin. “Jace took one look at him and I think bells went off in her head. She wants to talk to him, but she’s afraid he may be a jerk.” She watched Dao fall to his back against the bed and pull her so that she was on top of him. She stroked his face. “What do you think?” “She likes him, huh?” “Well, she says like is too much of a strong word. Maybe she wants to speak with him, maybe go out for dinner just to see where things lead.” “Well, I can talk to him for you,” Dao offered. “Now what?” Kianna beamed and bowed her head to take his lips as her reply. “Oh wait!” Kianna grinned and rushed off the bed and from the room. She grabbed a large framed picture and carried it back. She turned it so that he couldn’t see it until she wanted him to. “What are you up to?” Dao questioned. She sat down beside him and handed over the frame. It was the first picture she had taken in 224

A Lover’s Wish China. The colour was sucked out and Dao Zhi stood there, shirtless, staring at her in beautiful black and white. “You are one breathtaking man,” Kianna snuggled into Dao’s side. He was still staring at the picture. The moment she had seen it, her breath had caught in her throat. She stood in the store, staring at the picture with tears in her eyes. It was right after she thought they had broken up, but she couldn’t deny the beauty that Dao held. His eyes spoke to her—spoke volumes. It told of a man in love and in pain. Taking it home, she had tossed a sheet over it, trying not to remember. But she couldn’t tune him out. “And you are one sexy, talented woman,” Dao whispered. She watched him put the large frame down against the wall, then climb into bed. She giggled, then purred when his large index finger found its way between her legs. The sun rose over Scarborough and Kianna rolled over in bed. Her back did not hit Dao’s chest. Opening her eyes, she glanced around before sitting up in bed. Dao wasn’t there. She flopped against the bed, then remembered he had mentioned a meeting he had to cancel before China that he had to attend that morning. She sighed as she remembered that she had guests. 225

Kadian Tracey With her brain still a sleep-fuzzied mess, she pushed her feet from the bed and dragged herself into the shower. The shower should be able to snap her awake. The shower was quick and in no time at all, she was walking into her kitchen with a smile on her lips, expecting to find Jace and Claude or one or the other. Instead, she found Dao, shirtless watching the television on the counter. “Morning.” he called muting the television. Kianna stopped to press a kiss to his lips. She reached for coffee. “Where are the others?” “Claude took Jace for a walk,” Dao replied. There was something in his voice that scared her. She ignored her coffee mug on the island and faced him fully. She braced her hands against her hips and waited. “I need to talk to you.” The fear that had curled her insides the first time he said that line to her returned. The last time he said that, Kianna had run as fast and far as she possibly could until her heart knocked her down and sent her tearing back to his heart. It took every bit of strength she had in her not to run again. “Okay?” she whispered. Her voice cracked horribly and she tried to cover it by clearing her throat. When he took her hand and led her out the door onto the patio, she fell into the seat. It creaked beneath her weight, but she didn’t 226

A Lover’s Wish complain. She didn’t react. Instead, she curled her legs self-consciously beneath her. “I almost got married once,” Dao confessed. Her head snapped up. Was he trying to tell her he had someone else? Why would he do that? Why hadn’t he told her this before? “You—what?” “We never made it that far. We dated for a few years and I thought I knew that she was the one. I could have sworn that I was in love and no one could tell me different. But I never met her parents—all those years we were together. It was my fault. I didn’t insist on it. Then I finally met them and I wish to God I hadn’t.” “What do you mean?” “They didn’t want a chink for a son-in-law.” Kianna’s heart began hammering in utter anger. She reached over to touch his arm, but he stood away from her and walked to the edge of the pool. He was staring at the water and that a scared her. She walked over and looped her arms with his. “They didn’t like you because you were Chinese? What were they?” He went silent. She glanced up to see that he was looking down at her intently. “What?” “She was black.” “Oh….” Again he took her hand and led her back to the seat and helped her into it. He hunched down 227

Kadian Tracey before her and stared into her eyes. “I thought I was over it. But I need to know that you will never do that to me. I couldn’t have it, not from you.” “How do you know you love me, Dao? You thought this other woman was the one and she wasn’t.” He moved to get up. She grabbed his arms and pulled him onto her. “Do you feel my heart racing?” he questioned. “Do you feel it against your breast?” Kianna nodded. “What does that tell you?” “That you love me?” “No questions, Kianna. Speak those words like you believe them.” “That you love me.” “My heart cannot lie to you, Kianna. Lying to you would be lying to my heart—to myself, and I cannot do that.” She cradled his face in her hands and smiled. “I’m sorry she hurt you, Dao. I really am. And I can safely promise you that I would never do that to you. Besides, I don’t have parents.” She gave him a brighter smile than she felt, then continued. “And Jace likes you because she called me some kind of stupid because I was thinking of ending it.” Dao smiled. He took her lips roughly and Kianna moaned. 228

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Chapter Nineteen day had dragged on with Dao trying to get The some work done at home. Eventually he gave

up and tried bugging Kianna, but she simply told him to go sit on a tack. He retaliated by making love to her against the stairs and then carrying her upstairs into bed. The two fell asleep tangled in each other’s arms. Dao couldn’t remember the last time he had done something like that or taken a nap in the middle of the afternoon, but he was sure glad he did it. His dreams were filled with his father. Lee was giving Dao his blessings over and over beneath a giant Banyan tree. The next moment, Dao opened his eyes, he felt rested and happy, but Kianna was not beside him. “Kiki?” he whispered. “Sweetheart?” he called louder. When no reply came, he pushed from the bed without his shirt and was on the verge of panic. The curtains at the balcony door blew inward and he caught sight of her. He exhaled in relief. He stood silently by the doors, watching her 229

Kadian Tracey stare at the water and knew that she had come to love that view. She would spend hours out there, just staring at the water as the sun died over it and he felt like a thief whenever he interrupted her. He didn’t say anything and quietly entered the house again, allowing her some peace. It was a couple hours later when Dao finally walked out the set of double doors to sit beside Kianna. The sun was just going down over the waters of Lake Ontario, casting beautiful shades of colours across the sky. She had been silent and though he had been worried, he was on the phone trying to book Jason some trial gigs. He wanted to feel out the industry for his kind of soulful, sensual music before he offered a full contract. But after a while of not seeing her by the door, stripping to tease him or smiling at him, he got extremely worried. He grabbed two mugs of mint tea and offered one to her. He pressed a kiss to her head and curled a leg beneath him. “Are you alright?” he wanted to know. She didn’t answer, but placed her cup down against the glass table to curl into his arms. He did the same with his mug and held her. Something was definitely wrong. “Talk to me, baby. I can help.” She lifted her head and smiled down at him. “I need to talk to you about my houses,” she 230

A Lover’s Wish whispered. “I have to make a decision—to let one go.” “Mom’s and Dad’s is close to the woods—it’s quiet. If we ever need to get away from here without travelling, it’s the best place to be. It has the small waterfall and is very romantic. But at the same time, my house is well, mine.” “I told you before that you’re welcome here,” Dao explained softly. “Do you not want to be here?” “I want.” She nodded. “I want to be with you. But I have to be careful. I haven’t had the best of luck with the few men I’ve been with so far and well, I’m scared.” Dao rubbed her back. “Well, you should sell one,” he agreed with her. “That will save you on the bills that you have to pay for both of them. Your house is smaller and in a place where I don’t feel comfortable with you being in. I know that you’re worried since your father—” Her nodding caused him to cut his words off. He saw the pain in her eyes and didn’t want to see her hurt. Dao kissed her forehead over and over. “So sell your house and keep your parent’s house as our sort of vacation house.” “You would like that?” Kianna asked. Her eyes twinkled up at him. “To see that smile on your face, Kianna,” his voice was caught in his throat, “I would do anything, anything all.” 231

Kadian Tracey She pounced on him, hugged him. After catching her in his chest, Dao laughed. He crushed her body against his and kissed her neck. “Kiki?” “Hmmm?” “I need to make love to you now,” Dao managed. “So bad. Stand up and strip for me.” “Dao Zhi, we are on a balcony,” she feigned shyness. “For me,” his voice was husky and cracking with emotion. “Only for me.” He watched the way her body pulled from his. When she was standing and began undoing the belt of her robe, a smirk found his lips. Her personality and self-esteem had grown between the time they had first made love and that very moment that she danced sexily to entice him. He relaxed against the seat and watched her slow-eyed. Her body swayed sexily. He adored her curves, the roundness of her hips. He loved the thickness of her thighs and the smooth chocolate of her skin. Her robe slipped from her shoulders to pool on the ground behind her and Dao had to struggle to keep sitting—just to watch. It was hard as his body was throbbing with just the thought of touching her, tasting her. She walked naked to him and sat down astride his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled in close. Finally, Dao shifted and kissed the swells 232

A Lover’s Wish of her breasts. He allowed himself the pleasure of feeding from her. “Dao,” she whispered hoarsely. He smiled. “Yes my love?” “Oh, Dao…” “I’m right here…” **** Their lovemaking was slow against the patio chair. She was wrapped around him, moving rhythmically against him. She pulled him deep and caused him to scream her name over and over. She shuddered in response, especially when he bit her neck gently, then licked it away. Kianna felt touched, worshipped, loved. Her arms tightened around his neck, her fingers dug into his hair, yanking his neck back. As she exploded around him for what seemed like the hundredth time, she sought out his lips and plunged her tongue hungrily within his mouth. Tender hands held her against her back before moving to grip her hips. He held her in place and drove his hips upward. She wrenched her lips from his to yell his name. Her body twitched, trembled and detonated. Her toes curled, her eyes rolled into her head and her fingers clenched even more in his hair. **** 233

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“Kianna I can’t…” That was all he managed before his fingers tightened against her waist. He hauled her downward, held her there and shoved roughly within her. His head tossed backward against the seat, his eyes widened and his whole world collapsed beautifully around him. **** Panting for air, she crumbled against his chest and his eyes drifted shut. “Would you like my help with packing up the house?” Dao sighed. “Brain-mush-no-decisions-now.” Kianna trembled. Throughout the night as Dao slept with his arms wrapped tightly around her, Kianna had thought back to the patio. She thought back to meeting Dao, China and everything that had happened. She wondered if all of it—even the bad parts—had happened just to throw them together. She remembered her mother always told her that everything happened for a reason and even though she loved Dao dearly, she didn’t want to believe that her parents’ death happened for her to find love. 234

A Lover’s Wish But her parents had lived a full life—one that was full of love. She had seen how much her father loved her mother and vice versa. Guilt swept through her because it was as though she was seeking a reason to be happy. She winced and slipped further into Dao’s arms, pressing her face into his neck. But by the time morning came, Kianna had come to a decision. If she wanted the wish that she made on the Banyan Tree in China to come through, she was going to have to face facts. Before Dao woke up, she got up and showered. She made breakfast and brought it upstairs. “Honey?” she shook him gently. “Hmm?” “Wake up. I made you breakfast. I have to go talk to the real estate people this morning. You want to meet me at my house later?” Dao opened his eyes and smiled. “Sure. I’ll get some papers signed, make it a short day and meet you over there. Maybe I can help you pack up some things?” “That would be lovely.” Kianna kissed him. “Thank you.” She kissed him again. “See you later. Love you.” “Love you—wait. How about another kiss?”

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Chapter Twenty sat in his office and stared at the blank pad Dao before him. He could not believe what he was

feeling. He was actually feeling like writing a song. He hadn’t done that since the beginning days of Red Dragon, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. He grabbed the note pad and began scribbling. If he wrote down all he was feeling and was sure the obsession he felt would go away. He had been so carried away that when a soft knock sounded at his door, Dao jerked up in his seat. “Dao?” Beth-Ann called. “Yah? What’s wrong?” “Well I was going to ask you the same question.” Beth-Ann tilted her head. “You’ve been sitting there for hours. You’re spacing, Kianna is freaking– what’s going on?” Dao glanced at the clock and flew out of his seat. “Oh no! I didn’t mean to stay here this late. Where’s Jason?” Dao pushed some folders into his bag to do some work from home the next day. 237

Kadian Tracey “Studio, erm…three!” she replied. “He’s recording Heart’s A Fire. That’s what you left for him to do today.” Dao nodded. “Perfect. Give him this one, too.” Dao handed over the song he had written while zoning. “See if they can work it up for him. Did Britonnie call?” “Ah yes. He was pleasantly surprised that you picked up an English soul singer.” Beth-Ann smirked, taking the note pad from him. “He says he can’t wait to hear him…” Dao watched her read the notepad. “Well, boss man, this is very good. I’m impressed.” Dao beamed. “Okay, tell the boys in Studio three to have the two songs done by tomorrow,” Dao explained. “Have them email me a copy of both once they are finished. I need to hear them before they get them on the CD.” “Got it,” Beth-Ann replied. “I’ll forward all the important calls to your cell.” “You’re a lifesaver.” Dao hugged her tightly. “And you go home. Take the rest of the day off. Enjoy the sun. Kianna is gonna strangle me!” “I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.” Beth-Ann laughed. “Go home.” “Am going! Jeesh, you’re worse than my mother!” Dao grinned, grabbed his things and 238

A Lover’s Wish darted out the door. He was so late. But he had one stop to make before he headed to her for his punishment. His smile rueful, he made a left turn from the parking lot and sped toward the centre of downtown. He zoomed through the intersection on the amber light and continued on his way. He pulled into a parking spot and fed the meter before dashing into the store, “Hey, Maxxie!” he waved. “I need a favour.” “Yah sure thing, Mr. Zhi,” the young man smiled. “What will it be?” “I want to something, elegant, beautiful and—” “I got just the thing!” True to his words, Maxxie Chapman had the perfect thing. Once Dao saw it, he knew it was the right one. His heart hammered in his chest so hard that his fingers went numb. He wiggled them, handed over his credit card and waited until it was run through. When that was over, he shoved his treasure into his pocket, along with the receipt and his credit card before climbing behind the wheel of his car once more. The traffic leaving downtown Toronto was a beast. He hadn’t meant to stay in the office so long and rush hour traffic just served to drive him mad. He slammed his hand into the steering wheel and frowned, but that didn’t help. The traffic problem just served to give him an idea that he thought would work for both himself and Kianna. It took 239

Kadian Tracey him almost an hour to get to Kianna and when he knocked on the door, he held his breath. She opened it and he smiled. “Forgive me?” “I don’t know why when you look at me like that I can’t stay mad at you.” Kianna reached in for a hug. “Come in. We still have plenty of work.” “You do know that we could hire someone to do all this?” he sulked. She simply laughed. “Come on, what fun would that be?” “Hold on,” Dao took her hand and walked into the house. Everything was a mess. The shelves were empty. Boxes were strewn all over the floor. Old romance novels were piled in a pile that Dao was sure would topple over any second. There were old newspapers—that he guessed she was using to wrap things for packing—that were all over as well. Small particles of dust swirled around in the air, glistening on the late evening sunlight that poked through the open windows. He glanced around for somewhere to sit with her so he could talk to her. When he found nowhere, he used his foot to shove some boxes off the sofa and helped her to sit. “I need to run two things by you. Dao knelt on the ground and braced his hands against the seat on either side of her to pull in close. He kissed her lips, tenderly at first. A growl 240

A Lover’s Wish left his throat when she purred. “I love it when you do that,” Dao whispered, licking his lips. “But you can purr for me later. Right now I need to do this. Remember how I told you about me nearly getting married before and what happened?” She nodded. “Well, I am terrified, but I can’t let you go, Kianna. I just can’t. Every time I think of you leaving me, I get this—this clench in my chest so painful that I want to cry.” He dug around in his pocket. “I guess what I’m trying to say is—would you marry me?” Dao opened the velvet box and extended it to her. **** Kianna swallowed the lump in her throat. She had been so nervous when he started about his previous engagement. She hadn’t expected him to ask her to marry him. Even though she was shocked, Kianna was no fool. Tears clouded her eyes and she couldn’t find words to say anything. She nodded . “Is that a yes?” Dao questioned. Kianna nodded again and this time that jerked the tears from her eyes and they pooled down her cheeks. “You just asked me to marry you, right?” The smile he gave her turned her heart to mush and sent her head spinning with love. 241

Kadian Tracey “I did.” She watched in a daze as he lifted her hand and slid the ring against her finger. “I will marry you,” she whispered. She fell against his chest. “I will try and be a good wife to you.” “You won’t try, Kianna,” Dao caressed her back. “You will be the perfect wife for me because I’ve waited for you. I went through hell to find you and now that I have, I’m not letting you go.” Her tears soaked through his shirt and Kianna felt bad, but she couldn’t help it. He had been amazing to her, loved her through her pain. He had touched her like no one else could and showed her how to touch him. She never thought a love so strong could happen three times in existence, but it had, first to her parents, second to his parents and third to her. “I think…” Dao pulled away to look at her. “That we should have a small ceremony soon to celebrate our parents’ lives and our engagement— in a way of showing them that we are alright.” “I agree. We should have it in China so that your mother can be there,” Kianna told him. “But, Jace—” “I’ll pay for her to go,” Kianna smiled. “I have a private jet remember?” Kianna socked him in the arm playfully. “Then don’t scare me.” She laughed. “Now come on. The 242

A Lover’s Wish sooner we can get this all packed up and ready to go, the sooner I can take you home.” “Take me home? And do what, pray tell, to me, Mrs. Zhi?” Kianna giggled and leaned in to whisper exactly what she had in mind. She felt Dao’s body tightened beneath her as she explained. He took her hand and led it to the front of his pants. “See what you did?” he asked. “I think you should take me home now. Come to think of it, I think we should do that right here.” “Oh no.” Kianna laughed. “It is your reward for being a good boy today.” Dao pouted. Kianna simply kissed him, grinned and walked over to grab a box. “Kiki, tell me something.” Dao’s voice caused her to turn and look at him. He was still kneeling on the ground watching her intently. “What’s that?” “When we were in China and I took you to the Banyan tree,” Dao grabbed a box. “What did you wish for?” Kianna dropped the boxes she held and walked over to him. She took his hand and pulled him into standing position. She cradled his face, peering up into his eyes and smiled. “I wished for you, Dao Zhi. I wished that you would see how much I love you, what a good woman I could be 243

Kadian Tracey for you, but most importantly, I wished for strength. I wished for the courage to be the one for your heart. I know it sounds corny, but I knew then that I had some feelings for you and I wanted you. It wasn’t apparent how desperately.” “You gave up a wish for me?” Dao’s eyes darkened and he pulled closer to her. “In a heartbeat.” Dao kissed her then. “It won’t be a waste, Kiki. I swear.” “I know,” she whispered. With all their tender delays, that Kianna enjoyed immensely, they finally got back to packing. The moon was shining outside, insects chirping in the night and soft music from one of Dao’s artists played in the background. Kianna watched Dao as he wrapped a vase carefully in bubble wrap and placed it like a newborn into a nearby box. She had a smile on her lips at the way he was being careful. They had come together, sat down and discussed what she was going to do with the houses she owned since her parent’s death. “Dao,” she called to him. “Hmm?” “Dance with me?” She didn’t have to ask twice. He stood up instantly and pulled her gently into his arms. He held her tightly against him, kissing 244

A Lover’s Wish her head and neck and forehead. She sighed dreamily before melting into his chest. “Kiki?” “Mhmm?” “That day I took you to the Great Banyan. You made a wish.” “I did.” She sighed. “You said you wished for me—have I wasted it?” She laughed softly. “Baby, no. In fact, you are even more than I wished for.” A rumble escaped his chest and she snuggled closer to him. “You are my forever, Dao.” Their bodies became one, twirling slowly around the crowded room. “I am grateful for that.” “Oh, baby girl,” Dao replied. “I love you…” Kianna heard the truth in that. She wrapped her mind around it and tucked it into her heart. She smiled gladly up into his face, cradled his cheeks and pushed upward. Tenderly, she brushed her lips against his, whispered her love and kissed him. Kianna was ready to spend forever in her warrior’s arms. She was ready to be the woman he deserved and to open herself up for a world of beautiful possibilities with Dao Zhi.

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About the Author I was born Kadian Tracey on the beautiful island of Jamaica, Kingston to be exact, but soon began moving all over the place. From Marverly to Brown's Town back to Marverly, then eventually ended up in Golden Springs. At thirteen years old, I was adopted and moved to Toronto Canada. It was a crazy move, I know and snow? Cold! I began writing poems at an early age and soon graduated to song lyrics (when I was going through my when I grow up I wanna be a singer phase. Eventually I stopped writing for I found a new love, acting. But I couldn't stay away from writing for very long. Soon I was trying my hand at scripts. My love of romance novels started at eight years old. I got bored between the bookmobile visits in Jamaica and dove under my mom's bed to find something to read. I crashed into her Mills and Boons (you know the really old ones?) books and KISS Romance magazines and it was all downhill from there. I don't think I ever paid attention to the content back then, all I cared about was that I was reading. At seventeen, I thought writing a romance isn't that hard so I decided to write my own. It wasn't

as easy as I thought and by the time I turned eighteen, I had a three story series done and ready to go. But my computer didn't seem to like them for it crashed with them. But still I write. In my spare time—though at times it seem that I don't have any—I love acting, trying to sing like the girls in the Hindi movies, dancing, swimming, torturing my friends, cooking, reading, writing— of course, cultures—primarily Irish, Chinese, Japanese, Jamaican—of course, Hindi—and so much more. I am also a graduate of Radio Broadcasting with honours and a student attending University for my BA in Communications Studies with a Minor in Dramatic Arts. I also pen sensual romance under the name Kendra Mei Chailyn and write as a member of the Writing Divas as K.D Tracey. Visit my website at: http://trueloveiscolourblind.yolasite.com