A Simple Truth; Calendar Boys: September, Book 9

A SIMPLE TRUTH

…Bryce’s eyes had a new shine in them. “You’ve been jerking off for the past two weeks to prepare for your date?” “No. I’ve been jerking off ever since I decided I was going to come clean with you.” Bryce turned in his chair to face Charlie fully, tucking his foot under his knee to fit more comfortably. Charlie frowned, but he didn’t move, or stop Bryce from cupping the back of his neck. His fingers almost felt cool against Charlie’s flushed skin. Bryce leaned forward, his mouth coming within an inch of Charlie’s before he paused. “You should stop me.” “Because of Dean.” “No, he’s not your boyfriend yet. But if I kiss you, I’m probably going to want to kiss you again. And again.” His throat tightened. “You’ve drunk your wine too fast.” “Yeah, I probably did. Doesn’t change what I said.” “You’re my best friend.” Somehow, that felt like it should make a difference. “Maybe that’s why I want to kiss you senseless right now. Maybe it’s that and the wine.” Charlie smelled it. And the Cajun spices from the fish. And the cologne Bryce preferred, the one that always made Charlie think of their hikes when he couldn’t stop staring at Bryce’s ass. They combined into a cocktail that made his mouth water, and he had to swallow before he did something

stupid. He just said the something stupid instead. “Half the time when I jerk off, it’s not because I’m thinking of Dean,” he confessed…

ALSO BY JAMIE CRAIG At The Advent Of Dusk Clandestine Love Double Down Fortune’s Honor His Very Own Keeping Time A Little Bit Bewitched Nowhere Man Time In A Bottle Calendar Boys, Vol. I & II The Master Chronicles Book I: Master Of Obsidian Book II: Unveiled Book III: Mosaic Moon Book IV: Seduction In Black And White Book V: Chaos & Communion Book VI: Dominion Calendar Boys January: Miami’s Perfect Weekend February: Mine March: Kiss Me April: Out Of The Storm May: Corazón June: Commencement July: Vintage August: Scorched September: A Simple Truth

CALENDAR BOYS

SEPTEMBER: A SIMPLE TRUTH BY JAMIE CRAIG

AMBER Q UILL PRESS, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com

CALENDAR BOYS SEPTEMBER: A SIMPLE TRUTH AN AMBER QUILL PRESS BOOK This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental. Amber Quill Press, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review. Copyright © 2008 by Pepper Espinoza & Vivien Dean ISBN 978-1-60272-358-0 Cover Art © 2008 Trace Edward Zaber

Layout and Formatting provided by: Elemental Alchemy

PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

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CHAPTER 1 Charlie Labrecque was nervous. On the outside, there wasn’t any reason for him to be. The Labor Day party he’d organized for his neighbors had gone off without a hitch. Everyone had loved his steaks and sausages; two people insisted on getting the recipe for his marinade, while someone else couldn’t believe he’d made the garlicky turkey sausages himself. Charlie laughed and joked what else he was going to do with his time now that his son had gone back to his mom’s to get ready for the school year, but to him, his laughter sounded hollow. He was going to miss Christian. The summer had flown by too quickly. No, Charlie’s anxiety stemmed from something else 1

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entirely. Through his lashes, he watched his neighbor from three doors down lounge in one of the deck chairs, toying with a longneck beer as he chatted with Mrs. Kinley from across the street. Bryce Hanson was nearly ten years Charlie’s junior, and in all honesty, his best friend in the neighborhood. The unkempt blond waves glinted with red highlights, like a copper penny bleached by the sun, and the scruff he always sported was enough to make mouths water, itching to taste the texture. He was a bundle of compressed, intense energy, and even from across the length of the deck, the younger man’s green eyes pinned whatever company he kept in place. Bryce was also gay. He’d never hidden his sexuality from his neighbors, but he didn’t flaunt it either, which made it easier for conservatives like the Hanshaws on the corner to accept him in neighborhood circles. Charlie was all too aware of what a double standard it was, but this wasn’t San Francisco, or New York, or some liberal college town. This was Denver. Things were improving, but there were definitely better places for a gay man to live in this country. That was one of the biggest reasons Charlie kept his own sexuality private. It had destroyed his marriage, but nobody had ever discovered the truth. Not even Bryce, and he had been around for the worst of Charlie’s moods. He’d been the one to offer the long hikes in Fern Canyon to get Charlie’s mind off everything, and he’d been the one to suggest the cooking classes to distract him from the divorce minutiae. Charlie owed Bryce a lot. And tonight, he was finally going to tell him the truth. If 2

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Charlie didn’t chicken out beforehand. As the sun started to set, people began trickling back to their homes. Charlie finished scraping off the grill and closed the lid, hanging his brushes from the side hooks. Grabbing his empty beer bottle, he headed for the man who’d consumed his thoughts all day. “Can I get your help with the empties?” he asked Bryce, nodding toward the overflowing bag next to the drinks’ cooler. Bryce promptly pushed himself to his feet and finished off the last swallow of beer in his bottle. “I can stick around for cleanup duties if you promise to send me home with some of that leftover sausage.” “Only if you promise to eat them and not give them to Sadie. She’s a great dog, but something tells me she just won’t appreciate how good they turned out.” “No, her palate isn’t refined enough to enjoy it. For now, it’s regular old Alpo for her.” He gathered up the four bottles that had been on the deck next to his chair. Charlie had been paying close enough attention to know that all four did not belong to Bryce. “You want to keep everything separated for recycling?” “Yeah, if we can.” They worked in silent but friendly cooperation, scooping up anything that looked abandoned. Charlie called and waved goodbye to the guests that took this as the sign to leave. It hadn’t been his intention, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. The sooner it was just the two of them, the sooner he could get everything off his chest. Provided he 3

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could get the topic introduced in the first place. “This turned out pretty well,” he said when they were finally alone. “Don’t you think?” “Best Labor Day cookout I’ve ever been to. And I’ve attended quite a few in my time.” He upturned another bottle of beer and watched the contents drain into the gravel on the side of the patio with a grimace. “God, I hate when people do that. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re stuck with Labor Day party duty from now on.” “That’s not so bad. It’s good having people around.” Charlie rolled his neck, wincing when it cracked. “Though next time I won’t be so stubborn about doing so much on my own.” “Good. I told you it was insane to try do all this by yourself. I’ll promise my potato salad for next year. And I’m a champion at slicing up watermelon, if I do say so myself.” “Sure, you say that now. You couldn’t have told me that before I nearly chopped my thumb off two hours ago?” Bryce grinned. “But you were so cute, wielding that big knife like you thought you knew what you were doing.” “That’s the problem.” Charlie returned his smile as he held open the back door for him. “I thought I did.” He followed Bryce inside, and together they dropped the recyclables into their respective bins in the back room. Even inside, the scents from the barbecue remained. It gave the house a more lived-in atmosphere than it normally did. Or at least, than it did when Christian wasn’t visiting. “Do we really need to worry about the rest of it just yet?” 4

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Charlie hovered at the kitchen door, looking longingly at his recliner in the living room. “I just want to get off my feet for a few minutes.” “If you sit down, you won’t want to get up again.” Bryce began opening and closing drawers, finally holding up a box of plastic wrap with an unmistakable look of triumph. “Won’t it be easier to clean up this mess now?” “Easier, yes. Fun, no.” His stomach flip-flopped as Bryce turned away again, going for the cupboard that held the Tupperware. Maybe asking him to stick around was a bad thing. They’d gone this long without the truth coming out. What did Bryce care what his sexuality was? “You know, you really don’t have to do this. I’ll take care of it. Why don’t you go home?” “I know what you’re trying to do. If you make me go home, you can leave all this sitting out and go drink beer in front of the television. It’s not going to work.” Bryce poured what remained of the baked beans into a Tupperware container, then added several of the leftover sausages. “That’s mine, by the way.” “I won’t leave all this sitting out. This is my dinner for the next week.” Begrudgingly, Charlie moved away from the lure of his recliner and farther into the kitchen, closer to Bryce, closer to temptation. Ever since he’d made this decision, it had been increasingly difficult to just hang out with the younger man. Nobody knew him like Bryce did. Nobody put him at such ease. But finally choosing to be totally honest with him had 5

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shifted everything just slightly off-center. Bryce was still Bryce, but he was more than that. He was a very attractive young man who had fueled one or two of Charlie’s most private fantasies. They were fantasies he would never act upon, of course. Bryce was his friend. Just because Charlie could appreciate the man’s bitable ass did not mean he was willing to sacrifice their friendship for a quick fuck. “Don’t throw that,” he said when he saw Bryce about to dump the rest of the peanut butter pie into the trash. Neither one of them liked it, but he’d picked one up because he thought the neighborhood kids might. “Mrs. Kinley asked if she could have the leftovers. I’m going to run that over tomorrow.” Bryce wrinkled his nose. “Well, she’s welcome to it. Yet, somehow, I’m not surprised she’d want to have the leftovers.” He covered it in plastic wrap and wedged it into the fridge. He looked up and caught Charlie’s gaze. “You really want to get rid of me? I won’t hang around if you’re tired.” “No, don’t go.” The words came out before he could think otherwise. Because when Bryce looked at him like that, Charlie couldn’t breathe. “We’ll have you lounging on your chair in no time,” Bryce promised. They worked in silence for a few minutes before Bryce asked softly, “How you doing? I got the impression you spent most of the day looking for Christian.” “I did.” He put the plug in the sink and started the hot water. Some of the utensils would need to be soaked before coming clean. “I forgot how big this house is when he’s not 6

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around.” “He’s flying out for Thanksgiving, right? That’s not too far away.” “Two and a half months. Sometimes I wish I’d moved to Chicago when Sarah went back. At least then I’d see Christian more often.” “Yeah, that’s true. But you have the right to have your own life, too. I think Christian is old enough to understand that. He’s a pretty sharp kid.” Bryce smirked. “He must get that from his mother’s side of the family.” Charlie splashed some of the soapy water at Bryce in protest, grinning when the younger man twisted to take it mostly on his back. “I should probably be glad he’s not around for you to influence even more than you do. The entire ride to the airport, all I heard was ‘Bryce said this’ and ‘Bryce did that.’” “Like I said, he’s a sharp kid. He knows wisdom when he hears it. And fortunately, I’m full of information and clever witticisms.” Bryce dumped several serving utensils into the soapy water. “I’ll stick around and help you take your mind off things.” “Actually…” Charlie took a deep breath. He had to do it; he knew that. “There was something I wanted to talk to you about.” “You’re not going to move to Chicago, are you?” He blinked. “No, of course not. I just…it doesn’t have to do with Christian. Not really. Well, maybe in an obscure way, if you count the divorce.” 7

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Bryce wiped his hands on his pants and stood with his hip against the counter. “What does it have to do with?” “Why Sarah and I got the divorce in the first place.” “And you want to talk to me about it? Okay. I’m all ears.” Another deep breath. Though deep breaths weren’t really doing a whole lot to stifle the jumping beans exploding in his gut. “Can we do this in the living room?” Charlie tried to smile; he wondered if it looked as strained as it felt. “Or doesn’t the slave driver approve yet?” Bryce glanced around the kitchen. “Well, you don’t have any food going rancid on the counter, and I’ve already taken what I want. So I guess I approve.” Charlie wiped his hands on a towel and tossed it onto the counter. He felt every one of the steps to the recliner, and while sitting down was a relief, seeing Bryce settle in the corner of the couch closest to him was not. “You were a great help during the divorce, you know that, right?” Rather than leaning back, Charlie angled toward Bryce. “I couldn’t have made it without you.” Bryce rested his right foot on his knee and absently played with his shoelaces. “Well, I did what I could to help. I was sorry to see you go through that shit. Hell, I was sorry to see all three of you go through that.” “Yeah, well, most of it was my fault. Because I wasn’t honest with anybody. Including you, so before I say anything, I just want you to know I’m sorry about that.” Bryce laughed lightly. “You’re scaring me here, buddy. Like you’re going to ask me to help you hide the body or 8

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something.” The joke was welcome, and Charlie chuckled accordingly. “No, nothing like that. It’s more like…Sarah left because I finally told her I was gay.” Bryce’s eyes widened. “After eleven years that must have come as quite the shock.” “Um, yeah, shock is probably an understatement. But I was just…tired of having to pretend. And once the shock wore off, she was good about it. Probably better than I deserved.” “Why didn’t you tell me when everything was happening? Why wait so long?” Charlie rubbed at the back of his neck. “Because I didn’t tell anybody about it. Christian didn’t even know until this summer. I didn’t do it expecting to walk in the pride parade or anything. I only did it because I was tired of my life being a lie everywhere I turned.” “And you’re telling me now because…Christian knows?” “I’m telling you now because you deserve to know the truth. Because now that I don’t have to worry about Christian accidentally finding out, I’m probably going to try dating a little. Maybe. I still haven’t decided about that yet.” Bryce inclined his head in a slight nod. “Well, I know it can be really scary to jump right into the dating scene. If you need any help or anything, I’ll do what I can. Tell you where the clubs are. The gay community around here isn’t huge, so I can even tell you what guys to avoid.” Charlie grimaced. “God. Clubs. Aren’t I too old for that now?” 9

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“Too old to go dancing and have fun? I don’t think that’s possible. Plus, there are clubs that cater to the older set. I bet you didn’t even know that. See? You need me.” Something skittered through his veins at the way Bryce said the last. “Ha. Right. You’re my gay training wheels now.” “Everybody should be so lucky as to have me as their gay training wheels.” Bryce tilted his head thoughtfully. “So when was the last time you had a…date?” “Does never make me sound pathetic?” Charlie squirmed under that intent gaze. “Not a real date anyway. I had a few hook-ups before I met Sarah, but that’s it.” “Oh, no, I wouldn’t say pathetic. A little sad, maybe. I mean, does that mean you’ve basically been living like a monk?” Bryce said the last with a sharp hint of horror. He laughed. “Well, I don’t think monks had porn available to them twenty-four/seven on the Internet. But yeah, that means I haven’t been with another guy since before Sarah.” He was feeling slightly better about telling Bryce. The younger man hadn’t reacted with anger about being left out or lied to all these years. That boded well. “So that was what? Fifteen years?” Bryce gaped. “That’s…wow. I suppose instant access porn would help things, but still.” “That’s because you’re still young. You’re not an old man like me. Fifteen years ago, you didn’t even have body hair.” “Yeah, and fifteen years ago, you were practically a kid yourself. So…how did you end up with Sarah?” Charlie finally relaxed, pushing back in the recliner in 10

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order to lift the foot rest. The ache in his lower back immediately eased. “I never had the guts to admit to myself I might actually be interested in guys except for the occasional sex thing, so I always dated girls. Dating Sarah was actually pretty easy because she’s so gentle with everything. It didn’t matter if we didn’t have sex right away. We graduated and…it just seemed like the next step was marriage.” “Yeah, I know a few guys like that. They couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to go their weddings. I would feel like a huge hypocrite going to the celebration of a doomed relationship. I would ask if you regret it, but somehow I doubt you could regret the choice that led to Christian.” “No, absolutely no regrets about that. And honestly, Sarah and I were pretty happy as long as I didn’t think about what I was missing.” “But…I don’t understand. You came clean with her because you were tired of living a lie, as you said, but you haven’t even had a date since your divorce? Charlie, man, that was a long time ago. What have you been waiting for?” A slow flush crept into Charlie’s cheeks. “It’s only been three years since the divorce. And how could I start dating before telling Christian? He could’ve found out on one of his visits, and then that talk would’ve been even more awkward than it was.” “He’s only here for a few months out of the year,” Bryce said gently. “I understand that you don’t want to date while Christian is visiting, but…with all due respect, that just sounds like an excuse to me.” 11

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He sighed. “Yeah, maybe. I just…I haven’t figured out yet how to do this. Nobody at the bank is gay. I don’t think, at least. And I’ve looked at some of the online dating sites, but that feels a little creepy.” Bryce beamed. “Well, you know me. And if there’s anything I’m good at, it’s dating.” His smile faded a bit. “I don’t know if that’s necessarily something to be proud of. But my point is, I can help. And I will.” “You want me to go to a club.” Charlie shook his head. “I don’t think I’m up for that yet. Isn’t there a nice and quiet gay bookstore or something I can hang out at?” “Gay bookstore? Maybe the Tattered Cover, if you really want to go that route. There’s also the Bump and Grind Café, if you’re looking for a safe, quiet, boring coffee shop. But you know, clubs aren’t that bad. There’s more guys around, and not all of them are full of twinks and loud music.” He had probably been trawling through too many websites and read too much porn to get a real view on what clubs were like. The images in Charlie’s head were of bears in leather and skinny young men in eyeliner hanging on their every word. With grungy gloryholes in the bathrooms and house music that would give him a headache as soon as he walked in. He hadn’t even been fond of the straight clubs when he’d been young enough not to care. It just wasn’t his style. “How do you meet guys?” he asked instead. “It depends on what I’m looking for. If I just need to get laid, I check out hook up sites. Or craigslist. It’s not too hard to find somebody clean and willing. The boyfriends I had I 12

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found through school, or a friend of a friend, a club once, and even the grocery store. You know, normal places.” “Of course, it’s not too hard. Look at you. They probably fall in your lap.” Bryce looked down at himself, like Charlie had issued a genuine directive. “I don’t think there’s anything special about me.” Charlie waited for him to joke off his response, but when that didn’t happen, when he realized Bryce was utterly serious, his brows shot up. “Are you kidding me? You don’t really need me to tell you how sexy you are, do you?” He laughed at how absurd that notion was. “If you weren’t my best friend in the neighborhood, I would have hit on you as soon as Sarah moved away.” Bryce blinked. “Oh, well. I had no idea…I mean, I don’t think you’re going to have any problems getting guys to fall in your lap. For what it’s worth.” He waved him off. “That’s because you’re my friend. I’ve trained you to ignore how socially inept I am.” “You’re not socially inept. Besides, if we’re talking purely looks here…yeah, you’re not going to have any problems. Since this is apparently true confessions time, I’ll admit, I…noticed you the first time we met.” It would have been easier to hear if Bryce wasn’t looking right at him when he said it. Charlie’s cock stirred, awakened by both the declaration and the intensity in the other man’s gaze. His eyes seemed even clearer than normal, brighter, devoid of anything but that moment. That was the true power 13

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he held. The ability to make everything disappear but him and the immediate surroundings. Sometimes those, too. “Did you know I was gay?” It would explain how easily Bryce accepted the announcement. “I didn’t know it. I mean, you don’t have a big queer sign over your head or something, and I think that gaydar thing is largely a myth combined with some wishful thinking. But sometimes I might have suspected.” His eyes widened with sudden alarm. “In my defense, you have a really great ass.” Bryce chuckled. “I’ve been told as much, but I always appreciate it when somebody checks it out.” He sobered. “So besides me, Sarah, and Christian, does anybody else know?” “I told my sister after the divorce. And my mom found out last spring when I decided Christian was old enough to handle the truth.” Charlie shrugged. “Other than that, no, nobody else. I’m not out at work, and…there hasn’t been anybody else I’d trust telling.” Bryce leaned over and gripped Charlie’s knee, squeezing it once before release him. “Thanks for trusting me.” Smiling back at him now was infinitely easier than when they’d first sat down. “Thanks for making it easy.”

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CHAPTER 2 Puttering around Sunday morning after the barbecue did nothing to make the house seem a little less empty. Charlie scrubbed the kitchen until it was spotless and ran the pie over to Mrs. Kinley. He vacuumed the entire ground floor and dusted. He even hosed down the deck to clean away the last of the residue from the party. All it did was kill time. He couldn’t even really enjoy the brilliant sunshine, because he was too busy trying not to focus on Christian’s absence. At least his talk with Bryce had gone well. In retrospect, Charlie realized it was a little silly to have been so nervous. It could have been possible for Bryce to resent being left out of the loop when he was the one person who could actually help, 15

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but that wasn’t the younger man’s style. Charlie should have known that. He should have known Bryce would make the offers he had, and he would have regarded him without the same disappointment Sarah had, and everything would have been okay. Because it was. Charlie felt like a weight had been taken from his shoulders, having Bryce know the whole story. Having Bryce help him acclimate was even better. Lunch came and went. Charlie turned on the TV and settled in to watch some baseball. With the gorgeous weather and another free day looming ahead of him for the weekend, he probably should have found something to do that got him out of the house, but that required effort. After everything from the past week, both physical and emotional, he just wanted a break. A soft knock on the door pulled him away from the fifth inning. He glanced out the window before opening the door and wasn’t surprised to see Bryce on the front porch in a black T-shirt and blue jeans, his vibrant eyes shielded by dark glasses. Charlie couldn’t fully tell from his angle, but he thought Bryce looked nervous. But by the time he opened the door, Bryce was wearing his regular, friendly smile. “What are you doing? Sitting around the house like a bum? Go get dressed.” “I am dressed.” He held the door wider in unspoken invitation. “And I’m watching the game. You wanna join me?” “No, not today. It’s a beautiful day, there’s lots of things to do, and we don’t need to sit around and watch other guys have 16

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fun.” “I don’t know. They’re down by three. Something tells me they’re not having that much fun.” “Something tells me we won’t have any fun at all, sitting around on such a nice day. Come on, I was thinking of taking you to some of those gay bookstores that are quiet enough for old guys like you.” Charlie hesitated. It wasn’t a bad idea. Sunday afternoon, the party animals he had nothing in common with would still be home, nursing their hangovers from Saturday night. And he had to start getting out there some time. It would be better with Bryce at his side, helping him along. “All right,” he conceded. “Just give me a second to change.” He left Bryce at the door and went to his room, stripping off his sweaty T-shirt along the way. There wasn’t time for a shower, as much as he might like one, so he grabbed a towel and wiped himself down, reapplying deodorant before going to the closet. His stomach jumped. Damn, he was really going to do this. Even his cock perked up at the idea. Shedding every stitch of clothing he had on, Charlie started fresh from the skin out, with fresh boxers, clean jeans, and a lightweight black pullover that clung to his upper body just where he wanted it to. He stood in front of the mirror and ran his fingers through his short, black hair, and for a moment debated getting rid of the slight whiskers already making their presence known. 17

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He left it. After all, he was trying to meet some guys, and he knew from personal preference that stubble was a major turn-on. Bryce waited in the living room when he emerged, standing and watching the game on the television. “How’s this?” Charlie asked, stopping in the entrance. “Does it scream, ‘I know what I’m doing,’ or ‘Feel sorry for me, I’m new at this’?” Bryce’s gaze moved up and down Charlie’s body, taking in every small detail, but his expression didn’t betray his thoughts. “Honestly? I think what it screams is closer to ‘Sex on a stick.’ Which is a good thing.” Charlie flushed at the compliment. As nice as it was to hear, it was still a little weird knowing it came from a guy he found attractive. “I don’t want to get laid today. I just want to see what it’s like. See if I can even talk to a guy knowing we’re both potentially interested.” “If you were just looking to get laid, we wouldn’t bother going to a place where all the guys know how to read and speak intelligently.” “Right.” Scooping up his keys and wallet, he swept an arm toward the door. “You’re driving.” “Of course.” He followed Bryce down the street to where his truck was parked. It was at least as old as Christian, if not older, but Bryce kept it in good repair. Charlie had asked a few times why Bryce didn’t get a newer truck, but Bryce insisted that he and his truck, that he called Lola, had been through a lot 18

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together. He didn’t want a new truck. It was a bit strange, but Charlie almost thought he understood. Almost. “I still want to take you to a club,” Bryce said, once he had the truck in gear. “I think if you had your way, I’d have a billboard on I-70 declaring I’m out,” Charlie replied with a grin. “Maybe, if I thought it would get you a few decent dates. I just want you to have a bit of fun. God knows you deserve it.” “I have fun. Christian and I did a lot of things when he was visiting.” “I meant adult fun. You know, the sort of fun two guys who really dig each other can have. And no, not just fucking.” Charlie brushed imaginary lint from his jeans, too aware of Bryce’s accurate assessment of his social life. His nonexistent social life. Which was part of the reason for coming out, he reminded himself. Being lonely played a definite role into finally spurring him to action. “How many settled partners do you know?” he asked, genuinely curious. “Am I being too much of a Pollyanna hoping for more than sex?” “I don’t know why you’re so eager to get yourself settled down again. You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself. Seriously. If you go out thinking you won’t be happy with anything less than your next lifemate, you’re going to be very disappointed. Not that I don’t know plenty of people who are in committed relationships, but man.” “I’m not looking to get settled. That’s not what I meant. I just…I didn’t turn my life upside down and lose seeing my kid 19

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everyday to be happy with meaningless sex, that’s all.” He shifted to watch the passing scenery. “Maybe this is a bad idea.” Bryce sighed. “I’m sorry. I know what you meant. I’m just saying that we need to start slow here. Let’s not worry if you’ll meet somebody who wants more than sex. Let’s just worry about meeting somebody first. Sound reasonable?” “Okay.” It did. Sound reasonable, that is. He laughed, trying to dispel some of the tension. “That’s going to be hard enough as it is anyway.” “Nah. You’ll walk in and everybody will stop what they’re doing to get a good look. From there, it’s easy-peasy.” Bryce flashed him a grin. “And if I’m wrong, dinner’s on me tonight.” “As long as it’s not Burger King, I’ll hold you to that.” It didn’t take long to get to the Tattered Cover on Colfax. As Bryce pulled into the parking garage off Elizabeth Street, Charlie wondered if it would feel different going into it this time than it had in the past. The store was in the historic Lowenstein Theater, a huge, gorgeous space that begged customers to stay for hours upon hours. In all honesty, Charlie had never thought of it as a gay store, though he knew it was vocal and open about what it supported. The last time he’d run in on a lunch break, there had been some kind of children’s reading hour going on. It just seemed like a homey place to hang out, not a hotspot for picking up a date. “So how is this going to work?” he asked as they walked from the parking garage to the front of the store. 20

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“This is my monthly trip to the bookstore, so I’m going to pick up some things. You’re going to browse through the store and see if there’s anything you want, books or otherwise. Then you introduce yourself to the lucky guy.” Panic began to shove at the excitement that had brewed the entire trip downtown, turning into a slugfest long before they reached the door. “What if the guy I like is straight? How am I supposed to tell the difference? I don’t want to make a scene if I’m wrong.” “Don’t offer to blow him right in the aisle and it shouldn’t be a problem.” When Charlie didn’t laugh, Bryce squeezed his shoulder lightly. “If the guy you talk to is straight, he’ll gently let you know he’s not interested. Bigots are not going to shop at the Tattered Cover, okay? But a bookstore is a really good way to find a guy you have something in common with. I mean, if he’s stuck in the self-help section, you know right away to avoid his crazy ass, right?” Charlie snorted. “Right.” Just like always, the store welcomed them in like a longlost friend, warm and cozy. The coffee store on the ground level was packed, as were most of the overstuffed chairs, and there was a line at the registers of people waiting to make their purchases. Charlie hesitated near a bargain rack located in the front. With this many people around, at least his odds had jumped. He just needed to figure out where to start first. Bryce smiled encouragingly. “You’ll be fine. I’m going to start over in the mystery section and work my way forward, so if you need me, you can find me.” 21

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“Mystery. Got it.” He watched Bryce walk away, his smile fading. “I am so screwed,” he muttered. As he circled the edge of store, Charlie couldn’t focus on any one person. A woman sat with twin toddlers in a stroller by the new releases. A pair of boys no older than eighteen draped over each other a few rows down. On a bench in front of the periodicals, a gorgeous black guy with muscles to spare sat flipping through an automotive magazine, and for a split second, Charlie stopped and stared. There was no way in a million years he would ever approach a guy like that, but for the first time since walking in, the idea of settling for quick and dirty sex sounded not nearly as bad. He tore his gaze away and drifted into the travel section. What he needed to do was stop staring at the customers like they were the daily specials. He’d find something to look at it, find a seat, and just relax for a few minutes first. Then he could actually do what he came here to. “So when are you going to Europe?” a deep voice asked from his left. Charlie looked up to see who was talking to him and nearly did a double take. Light hazel eyes twinkled at him from beneath heavy dark brows, and the square jaw and cleft in the young man’s chin was straight out of the movies. He wore his hair shaved short, but the hint of stubble and casual pullover took the sharp edge off his appearance. He was the same height as Charlie, though definitely in trimmer shape. Good-looking didn’t even begin to cover this guy. And he was still waiting for Charlie to answer him. 22

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“I wish I was,” he managed to say. “But I forgot my high school Spanish years ago, and the only Italian I know is mozzarella, so for now…” He waggled the book he’d been leafing through. “I live vicariously here.” “Yeah, I know what you mean. This one…” He grabbed a glossy book featuring photographs of the Mediterranean. “Is actually my favorite. You don’t even have to know Spanish or Italian to enjoy it.” Charlie tilted his head to watch as he thumbed through the book. The young man’s fingers were long and strong, much like the rest of him. “So you’ve been?” “Yeah, my mom’s family is from Greece, so I’ve been there several times. It’s a shame you’ve never been.” He looked up from the book and met Charlie’s eyes. “I think you’d look great sunning on the beach. I’m Dean, by the way.” “Charlie.” His brain tripped over the compliment, his pleased smile genuine if surprised. “And thanks.” Your turn. Say something nice back. What, though? Everything that came to mind sounded crass or fake, two things Charlie loathed. In the end, he went with, “I don’t think I’ve seen you in here before. You’re not exactly the kind of guy I’d forget.” “Oh, I don’t shop here often. I came with my sister today.” Dean flashed a disarming smile. “She thinks I agreed because I want to better myself, whatever that means. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I’m here to find dates with hot guys who like to browse the travel books.” Though he smiled along with Dean, the voice of disbelief 23

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whispering in the back of Charlie’s head wouldn’t shut up. It can’t be this easy, can it? Bryce is never going to let me live this down. I wonder if he can see this. He glanced around as casually as he could, but if Bryce was in the vicinity, he couldn’t see him. “I’m actually here with a friend,” he said, his attention back on Dean. “But it looks like he’s still browsing, so would you like to go get a coffee or something?” “I was just thinking about how much I’d like some coffee,” Dean said, putting the book back on the shelf where he found it. “Your friend’s not going to mind if you get some coffee without him, right?” “Oh, no. Really, he’s just a friend. Not, you know, a friend.” They walked side by side over to the café, taking their place at the end of the line. Charlie’s heart thumped in his chest. He was doing it. This was it. He had asked a guy for coffee for the sheer purpose of getting to know each other on a more intimate level, and he’d actually done it in public. Where people could see. Where nobody would stare at him like a freak because he was with a guy and not a girl. And he hadn’t gone up in flames. His ears felt bright red, and his palms were sweating, but so far, he didn’t think he’d made too much of a fool of himself. “What do you do?” he asked while they were waiting their turn. “As lame as it sounds, I’m a waiter. Though the job itself isn’t too bad. I work at The Broker.” 24

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Charlie’s jaw dropped. “The Broker? I love that place. Their blackened halibut is the single best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.” Dean grinned. “It’s not the best thing I’ve put in my mouth, but yeah, it’s close. When I got the chance to work there, I jumped at it, just so I could have an excuse to eat dinner there every night.” “Oh, God, I think I’d gain fifty pounds if I ate their every night. I just never know when to stop. I tried recreating the halibut once, but it wasn’t the same.” “You just need a good exercise regimen to burn off the calories. Me and the chef there are pretty close. Maybe I could try to get the halibut recipe for you.” Charlie shuffled sideways, following the line, but he never took his eyes off Dean. “The only way I’d let you do something like that for me would be if you let me cook it for you.” His mouth seemed to have developed a mind of its own. “Seriously. You get the recipe, and we’ll make it a real date. My place. I’ll even fix the dessert of your choice.” “Hell, if that’s the deal, I’ll get the triple chocolate mousse recipe, too. I guess before I agree to come over to your house, I should know a bit more about you. What you do, your favorite movie, if you’d let me return the favor sometime, that sort of thing.” Charlie ticked his responses off on his fingers. “Banking. I do commercial loans. Unforgiven. Because nobody is as cool as Clint. And if returning the favor means putting myself into your hands, you bet I’d let you.” His boldness shocked even 25

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him, but it felt too exhilarating to stop. “I actually really can cook. I took some lessons a few years ago, and it turns out I’m pretty good.” “Awesome, I always like to find fellow foodies. Somebody who understands what a joy perfectly blackened halibut can be.” They finally reached the counter, and Dean pulled a billfold out of his pocket. “I’ll get this.” Charlie felt like a smiling fool as they both ordered their drinks. He wanted to go find Bryce and drag him back, point at the gorgeous guy he’d just arranged a date with, and shout, “Look! I did it!” That, of course, would be going too far, and Bryce would rib him about having worried about it so much, but still, that desire to share his achievement never dissipated, even after they got their coffees and carried them over to a corner table.

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CHAPTER 3 His kitchen smelled like Bourbon Street. Sipping at his water, Charlie lifted the lid on the frying pan one more time, and a fresh wave of Cajun spices rolled out with the steam. Almost done. And it looked practically perfect. The recipe Dean had given him had been simple in execution, complicated only in its ingredients and timing. Charlie was determined to get it exactly right. Of course, he’d never completely believed Dean would actually email him with the promised recipes and the request for his address. Their conversation at the bookstore had been fun, but afterward, breaking it down with Bryce over dinner, Charlie had found reason after reason why Dean wouldn’t 27

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follow through. He was too young. Charlie was too old. Dean had wanted immediate gratification, not a prolonged wait for a date that might never occur. Charlie had had a whole list of them. Bryce had told him he was full of shit and Dean would come through because a guy didn’t spend forty-five minutes just talking over coffee if he wasn’t genuinely interested. And Bryce had been right. Bryce had been right about all of it. Which was why Bryce was going to help him make sure this date went off without a hitch. The doorbell rang just as he turned the flame off on the fish. Wiping his hands on a towel, Charlie emerged from the kitchen, his shirt sticking to his shoulders from the heat. He made a note to himself to wear something lighter the night of the real date. Something he wouldn’t sweat like a pig in. “I hope that recipe worked out, because I am starving,” Bryce greeted, as soon as Charlie opened the door. “Like, I could eat my own arm, starving.” “It looks like it all worked out.” Charlie waved him toward the dining room. “Go sit, and I’ll dish it up.” He didn’t wait for an answer. He was in too much of a hurry to see if the food tasted as good as it smelled. “I’m planning on serving this with a white wine,” he said when he carried the two plates into the dining room. Bryce hadn’t actually sat down yet. He seemed too busy taking in the tablecloth, the candles, and the four empty wineglasses at each setting. “But I couldn’t decide which one would go best so I figured we’d do a tasting, if that’s okay.” 28

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“I’m always okay with more alcohol. But you know I pretty much don’t know anything about wine, right?” Bryce finally sat, leaning close to the table to inhale the spicy aroma from the fish. “I have a feeling that I’m going to insist you make this every time I come over.” Charlie’s stomach rumbled, but he couldn’t sit down yet. Darting back to the kitchen, he grabbed the four bottles of wine and the corkscrew, and brought them back into the living room. “You keep giving me good advice like you have been, and you can have whatever you want.” He peeled the foil off the first bottle and began twisting the screw into the cork. “Does the table look okay? The food kind of demands an elegant setting, I think. But I don’t want to make it look like I’m trying too hard.” “Table looks great. I don’t think it looks like you’re trying too hard.” He watched Charlie tip the bottle and partially fill the glass. “So what exactly are we doing with the wine? You just want to know which one tastes the best with the fish?” “Yep, that’s all you have to do. All I want to know is what combination makes you wish you had two mouths.” Bryce’s eyes widened and a strange expression crossed his face. He recovered his composure quickly and nodded. “The combination that makes me wish I had two mouths. Right. No problem.” He sipped from his glass. “I don’t think I’ve ever known anybody else to do a dress rehearsal for a date.” Charlie sat down and picked up his fork, shooting Bryce a grin. “I’m pretty sure that’s not a compliment, but honestly, I 29

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don’t care. I need this rehearsal. I haven’t had a date in over a decade, and never one with a guy. If I don’t practice, I’ll mess it up. I know I will.” “How do you think you’ll mess it up? So I can help you avoid the possible problems.” “There are so many ways it could go wrong, I don’t even know where to start.” The fish practically melted under the edge of his fork, and his stomach growled. “What do you think he’s going to expect for a first date?” Bryce took a bite and appreciation shown in his eyes. “Besides an amazing dinner? This is really, really good.” As soon as he got the first morsel on his tongue, Charlie had to agree. Both dug into their meal with fresh gusto, and it wasn’t until his portion of fish was almost gone that Charlie realized he hadn’t even touched the wine yet. “Oh, damn it.” Picking up his glass, he took a sip, but he needed to pour out the others if he was going to get any kind of true test on which was best. As he worked at the other corks, he watched Bryce sample the risotto. “Maybe if the food turns out this good, I won’t have to worry about small talk during dinner. I’ll just have to worry about talking after dinner.” “You shouldn’t have to worry. You’re an interesting guy and he’s obviously in to you.” Bryce lifted his glass to his lips and nearly drained its contents. “Plus, the wine will help. Alcohol always helps.” “I could put a movie in.” He refilled Bryce’s glass with the second selection. “Then we can just sit together on the couch 30

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and watch it. We’re good at sitting.” “Sitting on the couch is good, but only if you put in a movie that neither of you really want to watch.” He cut into the fish and followed the bite with another long sip of wine. “Subtitled films are right out.” “What’s the point of…oh, I get it.” His cheeks flushed at thoughts of what he and Dean might be doing if they weren’t paying attention to the movie. Dean had an amazing body, and he was naturally affectionate. Even during coffee, he’d kept casually touching Charlie’s hand or arm or foot. Without an audience around, he’d probably take it further, to places Charlie had been jerking off to the past two weeks. When he realized Bryce was watching him over the rim of his glass, he shivered. For a split second, it was Bryce who had him pinned to the couch, and Bryce whose hand slithered between their bodies to find his aching cock. He gulped at his wine and nearly spilled it down his shirtfront. “You look a bit flustered.” Bryce smiled knowingly. “Maybe you should just forego the movie and put on some nice music. That’ll be less distracting for both of you.” “Not if he wants to dance.” Because then dancing would lead to full-frontal touching, which would lead to hands on asses, which would probably lead to coming in his pants like a teenager because he hadn’t touched another man’s body in fifteen years. Bryce finished his second glass of wine and arched his brow. “But dancing is often better than just sitting on the 31

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couch. So with the music, you’re a winner either way.” Charlie opened the third bottle. “You are bound and determined to get me laid, no matter what happens on this date, aren’t you?” “I’m bound and determined to get you laid? Who thought up this date? You. Who is going to have an extremely intimate and romantic dinner in the convenience of his own home? You. I think despite all your protests to the contrary, you’re really looking forward to the prospect of getting laid.” When Bryce painted it like that it, it looked very bad. “I only wanted it here because I figured I could control it better.” His friend’s unwavering gaze compelled him into further confession. “Do I hope something happens? Yeah, I guess I do. Am I terrified about it anyway? Oh, hell yeah. I haven’t even kissed another guy in years, Bryce. Something tells me Dean is going to want a little bit more than that.” “So what if he does?” Bryce tilted the newly open bottle, pouring the wine right to the top of his glass. “I know you said you don’t just want meaningless sex. And I even get why you wouldn’t want a string of flings. But you can’t tell me you don’t want somebody to touch you, that you’re not hungry for that contact.” “Oh, I want it. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I decided to tell you the truth.” “What are you scared of? That you won’t do it right?” “Honestly?” He drained his glass. It was too warm in the house. He needed to remember to lower the thermostat the day of the date. “That it’ll be over before it really gets a chance to 32

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start because I’m too excited.” “Having seen Dean, I don’t blame you for being worried about it.” Bryce licked his lips, and his face seemed a little flushed. “You could find a way to take the edge off.” “You mean jerking off beforehand?” Charlie shook his head. “I’m already doing that.” Bryce opened and closed his mouth, then returned to his wine. The food on both plates was utterly forgotten, and Bryce’s eyes had a new shine in them. “You’ve been jerking off for the past two weeks to prepare for your date?” “No. I’ve been jerking off ever since I decided I was going to come clean with you.” Bryce turned in his chair to face Charlie fully, tucking his foot under his knee to fit more comfortably. Charlie frowned, but he didn’t move, or stop Bryce from cupping the back of his neck. His fingers almost felt cool against Charlie’s flushed skin. Bryce leaned forward, his mouth coming within an inch of Charlie’s before he paused. “You should stop me.” “Because of Dean.” “No, he’s not your boyfriend yet. But if I kiss you, I’m probably going to want to kiss you again. And again.” His throat tightened. “You’ve drunk your wine too fast.” “Yeah, I probably did. Doesn’t change what I said.” “You’re my best friend.” Somehow, that felt like it should make a difference. “Maybe that’s why I want to kiss you senseless right now. Maybe it’s that and the wine.” 33

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Charlie smelled it. And the Cajun spices from the fish. And the cologne Bryce preferred, the one that always made Charlie think of their hikes when he couldn’t stop staring at Bryce’s ass. They combined into a cocktail that made his mouth water, and he had to swallow before he did something stupid. He just said the something stupid instead. “Half the time when I jerk off, it’s not because I’m thinking of Dean,” he confessed. Bryce caught his breath just a second before he pressed his mouth to Charlie’s. It didn’t occur to him not to part his lips when he felt the tip of Bryce’s tongue flickering along the seam. As soon as he did, Bryce invaded his mouth, and Charlie’s tongue popped with the taste of heady spices and dry wine. It had been a long time since he’d kissed anyone, let alone a guy. Sarah had liked kissing, and he’d been able to feign interest well enough to keep her satisfied, but this, this already was different. For one thing, stubble. The soft, prickly stubble he’d imagined running over each and every inch of his naked body. Stubble surrounding firm, determined lips that knew exactly what they wanted, exactly what they were going to take. It scraped over Charlie’s skin, but instead of jolting him out of the moment, it shaved away the doubt. Nothing had ever felt so good. Or so right. So hot and wet and hungry, all at the same time. Charlie moaned in the back of his throat. Tentatively, his hand came up to skim over Bryce’s chest, knuckles grazing 34

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upward to the open collar and bare skin. Its heat surprised him. Everything about this night was surprising him. It felt like the kiss never ended. They both paused occasionally for air, but never for more than one or two seconds. Bryce wasn’t just hungry, he was insatiable. But the level of his desire only matched Charlie’s, and every time Bryce deepened the caress to explore more of his mouth, Charlie moaned in encouragement. “Can we move?” Bryce asked against Charlie’s lips. The query jolted him from the moment, the reminder that they were still sitting at the dining room table, and there was still food on their plates that had yet to be eaten, and triple chocolate mousse waited in the refrigerator. Charlie swallowed and ran his tongue over his swollen lower lip, his skin heating further when Bryce tracked the simple motion from beginning to end. “Why are we doing this?” “Because it feels good. Because it’s fun. Because I’ve been having fantasies, too.” Bryce punctuated each explanation with a long kiss, designed to make his head spin, Charlie was sure of it. It did feel good. And fun wasn’t the half of it. And if Bryce had been having fantasies— Charlie cut off considering the ramifications of that by being the one to fuse their mouths together this time. Good. Fun. And if he couldn’t trust having fun with Bryce, then how the hell did he think he’d ever be able to kiss a stranger? Fisting the front of Bryce’s shirt, Charlie scooted his chair 35

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back without breaking the seal of their kiss. He hauled Bryce upward, jerking him closer so their bodies slammed together. He nearly yelped when he felt Bryce’s erection jab into his thigh, but he swallowed any hint of surprise in the moan of satisfaction when Bryce wrapped his arms around Charlie and immediately palmed his ass. Charlie wasn’t sure who prompted it, but soon they were both walking, feet almost tangling as Bryce pushed him against the wall. He rotated his hips, grinding his cock against Charlie’s thigh until Charlie responded in kind. Bryce moaned, his fingers tightening, his tongue becoming more demanding each time it swept into Charlie’s mouth. In his fantasies, he had never seen Bryce as quite so assertive. Or himself as so helpless. But each pin of his body into the wall at his back only made him ache more, each hungry stroke and sweep and pinch along his flesh only made him throb. Charlie clutched at Bryce in desperation, needing the other man’s strength to hold him up, and gasped when he felt hot fingertips along the bare skin of his back. He hadn’t even felt Bryce slip inside his shirt. Bryce smiled against his mouth before murmuring, “At this rate, we’re never going to get out of the dining room.” “You’re the one who touched me first.” Charlie forced himself away from Bryce’s lips, but that was as much as he could manage, not with Bryce looking at him like he was triple chocolate mousse on the menu. “I don’t…I can’t even think when you kiss me like that.” “That’s fair. Because I can’t think when I kiss you like 36

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that, either.” Bryce took Charlie’s hand and pulled him away from the wall. He hadn’t realized just how weak his legs felt until he was no longer leaning against the wall with Bryce’s solid weight keeping him in place. Bryce led him toward the living room, but barely made it to the side of the couch before seeking out Charlie’s mouth once again. Without breaking contact with those delectable lips, Charlie tugged until Bryce fell on top of him in the corner of the sofa. He didn’t want to be distracted by how dizzy each graze of the man’s tongue made him. He wanted Bryce’s weight firmly against his, the reminder of his full arousal, the rub of cock against cock that made his balls ache. It had been too many years since he’d experienced such direct contact, and never like this, never as hot and heady as Bryce made him feel. Hunger could do that to a guy, he supposed. Or driving need. Because feeling good and having fun didn’t even begin to touch the emotions roiling through him now. Bryce broke the kiss just long enough to paw at Charlie’s shirt, pulling the buttons free and pushing it down his shoulders. He smoothed his palms over Charlie’s bare chest, his fingertips skimming over both nipples until his skin was hard. He gripped Bryce’s shirt and pulled him into another kiss, working the buttons free with trembling fingers while he probed Bryce’s mouth with his tongue. Soon skin was pressed against skin, the rough blanket of hair on Bryce’s chest scraping against Charlie’s sensitive body. He shivered. Not because he was cold. Because a piece 37

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that had been missing since before Sarah had clicked back into place. Though Bryce protested, Charlie moved away from his mouth, licking along his stubbled jaw until every single one of his taste buds exploded. On a whim, he sank his teeth into the tight skin at Bryce’s neck, and felt more than heard the answering groan. They both fumbled with zippers, but Bryce opened Charlie’s first and pushed past the material to grip his shaft. Charlie stiffened, shock and pleasure rolling down his spine. Bryce’s grip was firm, his fingers a little rough, a little biting. Sarah had never held him like this, and Bryce’s fist was large enough to cover most of his length. When he stroked, Charlie jerked, like a hundred electrical currents were flowing through his body at once. “Remember what I said about it being over before it really gets started?” Charlie rasped. In a desperate bid to distract himself from how amazing Bryce’s hand felt, he redoubled his efforts in getting to the other man’s cock, his nails scratching over Bryce’s stomach along the way. Only when he finally wrapped his hand around the steel shaft was he able to exhale properly. “God, if I’d known you felt this good, I would have found some way to jump you three years ago.” Bryce shuddered. “It wouldn’t have been hard to do. ‘Bryce, I want to jump you’ would have sufficed. Let me show you how it works.” He leaned back so Charlie could see his dark eyes. “Charlie, I want to suck your cock.” How could he say ‘no’? It was more than hearing that kind 38

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of a request. It was the blaze in Bryce’s face when it came. Unequivocal. Shattering. His hand shook as he smoothed it down Bryce’s chest, though tangling in the hair was oddly soothing. “Yes, please,” he whispered. He swallowed. “Then you have to let me do the same.” Bryce grinned before sliding off Charlie’s body and to his knees, pulling Charlie’s pants down his legs with him. “Absolutely.” He ducked his head and Charlie could no longer see the raw desire on his face or in his eyes, but he felt it well enough when Bryce took a deep breath and sucked Charlie’s crown between his lips. His head dropped back and his eyes fluttered shut as Bryce guided Charlie’s length deeper in his mouth, inch by slow, teasing inch. Stubble brushed against his smooth skin, and Bryce’s strong fingers kept him in place. Bryce’s hand had been a pale appetizer in comparison to the hot suction of his mouth. Charlie clawed at his shoulder, trying his damnedest not to fight Bryce’s grip. It was difficult, maybe one of the hardest things he had ever done. He couldn’t remember any mouth ever being so warm, or any tongue ever teasing him the way Bryce’s did. Sarah had gone down on him often enough, but she didn’t have the spine-tingling roughness of whiskers, or the knowledge that a cock wasn’t going to break if you didn’t treat it with kid gloves. “God…Bryce…” He wanted to tell him how good it felt. He wanted to say how he’d never experienced anything like this before, how he didn’t want him to stop, anything to 39

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convey just what this was doing to his body. But anything more than those few panted words escaped him. The best he could manage was lifting his hand to Bryce’s hollowed cheek and holding the side of his face. Bryce’s other hand was as busy as his mouth. It roved over Charlie’s stomach, his thighs, his balls, and he was far from gentle. He scratched, he squeezed, and occasionally, Charlie wondered if Bryce might actually be bruising him. But none of it really hurt. It just served as an amazing contrast to Bryce’s soft mouth, to the hot suction around his length, and the moans vibrating through his skin. Everything ached. From the soles of his feet, to his tightening balls, to his neck where goose bumps had erupted the second Bryce’s tongue touched his cock. Charlie was enveloped in fire, and he didn’t know where he ended and Bryce began anymore. He thrashed against the couch, but the friction against his bare ass only compounded his pleasure, only prompted him to start driving into Bryce’s mouth. He wanted to feel those lips at the base of his cock. He wanted to feel those whiskers scratching across his balls. He might have voiced that desire, or maybe Bryce just understood without the need for vocalization. Either way, it wasn’t long until Charlie knew exactly how it felt to have Bryce’s mouth sealed around the base of his cock. His throat closed around the head of Charlie’s cock, constricting each time Bryce swallowed. He held Charlie for an impossibly long time, giving him the chance to become fully acquainted with the heat and pressure of his throat. 40

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When he pulled back, they both gasped for breath. But then Bryce swept back down, and Charlie lost the power of his lungs, and the world went red when the passage constricted around his cock yet again. He cried out. His body jerked away from the couch, as if it was actually possible to get deeper in Bryce’s mouth, and his orgasm radiated through him, wave after wave of heat as he shot down the other man’s throat. When Bryce swallowed to catch the come, the sensations only intensified. Nothing should have ever felt this good. And Charlie had denied it to himself for years. Never again. He vowed that, then and there. Bryce didn’t let Charlie’s cock slip from his mouth until he caught every drop of come. Charlie felt boneless, like he could simply melt into the couch. But beneath his satisfaction was a new hunger—he wanted to taste Bryce’s salty skin and feel the weight of Bryce’s cock against his tongue. But Bryce surprised him by standing, and then taking a step away from the couch, out of Charlie’s reach. Charlie’s gaze raked over him. His skin was flushed, his shirt hanging open to reveal a body tight and muscular. His jeans were still open, too, and the clear fluid glistening at the tip of his long, gorgeous cock made Charlie’s mouth water. “You want to go in the bedroom?” Somehow Charlie found the strength to push himself up, but that simple motion made Bryce step even further away. “What’s wrong?” “I’m…I’m sorry.” Bryce zipped up his pants and but didn’t bother with his shirt. “I shouldn’t have…I think I should probably go.” 41

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Panic replaced the deep-seated satisfaction in his gut. “What? Why? Did I do something wrong?” “No. But I’m pretty sure I did.” Bryce was moving closer and closer to the door. Charlie scrambled to his feet and almost immediately tripped over his pants. “No, that was amazing. You have no idea…” “You are amazing, Charlie. But I still shouldn’t have…” He rubbed his forehead. “I think this will be easier to talk about when my head isn’t such a mess.” “So why does that mean you have to go?” He fumbled with his pants, yanking them up so he wasn’t standing there so exposed. “This wasn’t supposed to drive you away.” “I know it wasn’t. But you…you need me to be a friend. Not the asshole who takes advantage of the situation.” “You’re not an asshole.” Bryce snorted. “If I’m not now, I will be if I stay. We’ll talk about this later, when there’s less wine involved and less…everything else.” Charlie couldn’t move as Bryce went to the door. Disappointment tasted bitter. Clearly, Bryce had regrets, and the fact that he didn’t even want to stick around and let Charlie get him off said as much as any explanation he might offer. The knowledge churned Charlie’s stomach, and he folded his arms over it in a vain attempt to calm it down. “Okay,” he agreed. What else was he supposed to do? “Maybe when Dean leaves tomorrow night, I’ll call you. Tell you how the date went.” Bryce yanked the front door open. “Yeah. I’m not going 42

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out or anything tomorrow night. Good luck with…everything.” Then he was gone. But Charlie remembered the look on Bryce’s face long after he’d cleaned up and gone to bed.

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CHAPTER 4 The only thing that didn’t make Charlie lock the door and pretend not to be home for his date with Dean was the fact that the food had turned out so great. He’d barely slept after the encounter with Bryce. He kept replaying it over and over in his mind, wondering what he had done to mess up. Bryce had been so compelling—It feels good. It’s fun. I’ve been having fantasies, too. So where did it go wrong? They had acknowledged a mutual desire when Charlie had come out to him in the first place. They were both grown men. They had known the score before moving out of the dining room. His fears about it affecting their friendship shouldn’t have factored in since Charlie had had little chance 44

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to reciprocate. Charlie couldn’t figure it out. The only answer that made sense was that maybe Bryce had discovered that it wasn’t as satisfying or exciting as he’d dreamed about. Charlie was practically a virgin in a lot of ways. Virgins were only desirable in fairy tales. In real life, they forgot when not to use their teeth, or they gagged when they swallowed too much, or they whined about it hurting. His inadequacies had obviously been enough to compel Bryce to forego an orgasm for himself, though it didn’t escape his attention that the closest he’d gotten to sucking the other man’s cock was biting his neck. When the knock came at the door, he almost dropped the wine he had been pouring. He had no idea which tasted best with the fish. He didn’t even want to drink any after the previous night. But a plan was a plan, and he was going to see this date through, one way or another. He just had to get himself together long enough not to require emergency medical treatment before the night was over. He had expected Dean’s charming smile, not Bryce’s green eyes and furrowed brow. “Dean’s not here yet, is he?” Charlie shook off his surprise with a, “No, no, not yet.” He pulled the door wider, though he didn’t know if extending the invitation was welcoming disaster. “Come on in.” “Good, because I wanted to talk to you before he got here. And if I had to wait until after he left, I’d probably lose my nerve.” The panic that had stricken Charlie at Bryce’s hasty exit the night before returned. This was the explanation he now 45

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realized he didn’t want to hear. From the way Bryce couldn’t meet his eyes, there was no way this was going to be good. “Whatever you want.” He took a half-step toward the kitchen and stopped. “I guess offering you a glass of wine would probably be a bad idea, huh?” “Maybe later. Wine apparently doesn’t agree with my head.” Bryce ran his hand through his hair, looking distracted and more uneasy than Charlie had ever seen him. “Look, I don’t want you to have this date with Dean tonight. I don’t want you to see him at all. I wish you had never met him.” His eyes widened with every word to come from Bryce’s mouth. “You’re the one who insisted on getting me out there. Unless…do you know something about him I don’t?” “No, I don’t know anything about him except what you told me. He sounds like a great guy. And anybody with eyes could tell you that he’s hotter than hell. But I thought I could do this, and I was wrong. I thought I could help you find a few boyfriends, and help you with your dates, and encourage you to go out in the world. I can’t. Because then I’ll just stay up all night, every night, wondering why you’re dating the Deans of the world. Instead of dating me.” It wasn’t what he expected. He hadn’t anticipated that maybe the reason Bryce ran was because he’d felt like he had an ulterior motive. At least his comment about being an asshole made sense now, though Charlie still disagreed with it. But the last thing he’d ever thought to hear from his best friend’s mouth was a desire to date. He’d been so helpful about Charlie’s need to adjust, willing to be there for endless 46

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questions and even more insecurities. Charlie had assumed that came from a place of friendship, and maybe it still did mostly. But the fact that he would even confess as much as this meant there was more. “Is that…is that what you want? For us to be…more than friends?” “It’s what I’ve wanted for a long time. I didn’t want to put that on you right now because you’re still working stuff out. But these feelings aren’t going anywhere, and I thought it was only fair to let you know. You can tell me what you want from me or if you want anything from me at all.” Though he wasn’t talking fast, Charlie still had to race to keep up with everything Bryce was saying. His mind was having too much difficulty processing it all. “But you didn’t even know I was gay. How long have you felt like this?” “It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know you were gay. You’re easily the best looking guy I know. You’re smart. You’re a great cook. You’re a great dad. You get so flustered when you feel out of control and I just think it’s really…cute.” He paused for a moment before adding. “Since before your divorce.” Years. Bryce had felt like this for years. And of course he hadn’t acted upon it because they were friends, and Charlie was presumably straight, and Bryce was too good of a guy to ever do anything Charlie didn’t want. Even the night before… It struck him then why Bryce had stopped. Because he’d 47

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wanted just a taste of what he thought he couldn’t have and convinced himself he could probably keep it fun. Only he couldn’t once things started heating up. And he’d done the honorable thing and walked away. “I didn’t know.” It sounded lame even to him. “You’re my best friend, Bryce. You’ve been there when I needed you most. You were fantastic about my coming out. It never even crossed my mind that you’d be interested in something else.” “I know.” He moved like he was going to go to the door, then paused and sighed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come over here now. I really don’t want to make things unnecessarily awkward for you, but I didn’t want to have a repeat of last night either. You know, the last part that wasn’t any fun.” Charlie shook his head. “It’s not awkward. It’s just…” He laughed unexpectedly. “Apparently, you’re a lot better than I am about handling surprise announcements. It’s just taking me longer to absorb it. But I don’t want you to go. If you don’t want me to see Dean, then I won’t.” “And see me instead?” He swallowed against the tightness of his throat. “I might have underplayed my attraction to you when we talked about it before. I didn’t want to freak you out because I think you’re utterly amazing.” “Really? Utterly amazing?” Though there was a faint tease in his tone, there was even more delight, like Charlie had said the magic words. “I was completely serious when I said I thought guys would fall into your lap. When you’re around, I have a tendency to forget 48

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other guys are even there.” Bryce closed the space between them, taking Charlie’s arm to pull him close in a half-embrace. Charlie didn’t resist him. “I didn’t want to leave last night, but I honestly didn’t know if either one of us were ready for what I knew would happen.” “Maybe we need a real date to be ready.” The force of Bryce’s gaze took his breath away. “I’m willing to try if you are. If you don’t think it’s going to ruin our friendship.” “I think if it’s what we both want, it won’t ruin anything.” He leaned in, like he was going for a kiss, but diverted at the last moment to nuzzle against Charlie’s neck, inhaling deeply. “What time are you expecting Dean here?” “Within the half hour.” The hardest thing he had ever done was let Bryce go, but he did, if only to keep from touching him in ways that were going to get both of them in trouble. “Is there someplace public I can take you for a real date? Where we don’t have to hide the fact that we’re on the date together? Like dinner and dancing or something.” “Yeah. Why don’t you come pick me up in an hour? I’ll make myself all pretty for you and we’ll go out.” Smiling at Bryce’s suggestion was the easiest thing he’d done all day. “It’s a date then.” *

*

*

Fifty-six minutes later, Charlie walked up to Bryce’s front door with a far lighter heart than he’d had an hour earlier. He hadn’t actually been able to catch Dean before leaving for Charlie’s house, but after the young man had arrived, he’d 49

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done the only thing he could. He told him the truth. Everything had gotten infinitely easier when he’d reached the part about Christian and Dean’s confused face had shifted into horror. “You have a kid?” Like Charlie had some contagious disease or something. After that, Dean couldn’t leave fast enough. And Charlie still had enough time to dress to the nines and get to Bryce’s before his time ran out. Bryce had apparently had the same thought, because Charlie had never seen him looking so nice. He wore black trousers and a black shirt with a dark blue tie. He also had a slightly shy smile that made his already handsome face even more charming and boyish. “I’m glad you’re early.” Charlie smiled. This was already easier than Dean. This was his best friend, the man who knew him in and out. “I’m glad I guessed right about to wear.” He swept his gaze over Bryce, hungrier than he expected. “You look fantastic.” “Thanks. It feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve had to dress up for a first date. Though I guess it’s been even longer for you.” “Everything’s been longer for me.” He stepped back and waited as Bryce locked up. “Do you mind driving? I don’t know where we’re going.” “I don’t mind driving at all. Come on. I was able to get reservations at a new Italian place I like a lot. Apparently, it was the last table for the night.” Bryce opened the passenger 50

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door of his truck and smiled. “So I guess it’s a good thing I decided to storm over to your house when I did.” “I’d say it was a very good thing.” He slid in and watched Bryce walk around the front to get in the other side. As soon as the door was shut, Charlie leaned across the gap and grasped the back of Bryce’s neck. “And I’m going to do this while I still have an ounce of nerve left…” He closed the distance between them and sealed their mouths together. Darkness blanketed them from neighbors’ scrutiny, but right then, Charlie didn’t give a damn who saw them kissing. Bryce moaned and cupped the back of Charlie’s head, threading his fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. He held Charlie so tight that, for a moment, he wasn’t sure Bryce had any intention of letting go before they really gave the neighborhood something to talk about. But then it was over, Bryce’s breath warm across his mouth. “You’re pretty good at that.” “I think I’m going to need a ton of practice, though.” He slid back to his side of the seat, achingly hard now. Discreetly, he shifted his erection in order to get more comfortable. “I’ve got fifteen years to make up for, after all.” Bryce started the engine and put the truck into gear, exactly as he had done the last time he took Charlie out. Except, this time it was completely different. He had never been in the truck as anything more than just a good friend. But he didn’t know what they technically were now. Still just friends? Or were they already more? 51

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“Then maybe it’s just a natural talent. Because it sure doesn’t feel like you need more practice.” “Well, I think I need practice. But hey, if you don’t want to be my practice partner, I’m sure I can figure something out…” “I’ll be your practice partner and anything else you need.” “Good.” He smiled into the darkness, though his reflection gleamed against his window. They drove along in comfortable silence for a few minutes before he said, “Though you know, it doesn’t really feel like a first date. Dates are for getting to know one another, aren’t they? I think you know everything interesting about me already.” “Oh, I doubt I know everything interesting about you. For example, I have no idea if you’re a morning person.” The slight suggestion in his voice brought Charlie’s arousal back in full force. He was very glad he’d worn a suit that allowed a little more room to hide it. “I work at a bank,” he replied, ignoring the implication. “I have to be a morning person or I’m late. So now it’s my turn to find something out about you, right? Like…boxers or briefs?” “You know, it’s more fun when you to get to discover the answer to that question for yourself.” His smile returned. “Well, I can’t argue with that. The only downside is I have to wait until the date is over to get my answer.” “That’s not very fair, I guess. Commando when I can get away with it, boxers the rest of the time.” Charlie dared a glance sideways. “And tonight?” 52

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“No, that’s definitely an answer you’re going to have to find on your own.” Their shared chuckles felt good. Right. More comfortable than anything had a right to be. It was a relief to know they could joke about kisses and underwear just as easily as they could about barbecues and baseball. It made the rest of the drive to the restaurant all that much better. When Bryce pulled into the lot, Charlie looked the building over. “So Italian, you said?” “Yeah. You like Italian, don’t you?” “Love it.” He waited by the truck for Bryce to join them. “Are they going to freak out if we walk in like this?” To illustrate what he meant, he slipped his hand into the other man’s, curling their fingers together until they were interlocked. “No. This place is a lot like the bookstore. Gay friendly. I know the guy who is dating the head chef. I won’t take you anywhere you’ll feel uncomfortable.” “And dancing?” “They have a nice little dance floor and a guitar player on Saturday nights. I’m going to claim at least one dance.” “At least,” Charlie agreed. He let Bryce lead him into the cozy restaurant, wondering if he looked like a smiling fool. He couldn’t seem to stop. Everything about this night already felt like everything he’d always wanted; it boggled his mind to think Bryce had been there the whole time. He barely noticed the warm décor, the soft lighting making the dark wood fixtures glow. He simply 53

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followed where Bryce and the hostess led, not once letting his date’s hand go. Not one person they passed gave him the evil eye. Charlie almost sighed in relief when they took their seats. “So far, so good,” Bryce murmured as they settled at their table. He leaned over, giving a new air of intimacy to their tiny space. “I do want to apologize for the way I left last night. I just wanted to get that out there.” “You thought you were doing the right thing. And you were. So don’t worry about it. Tonight is about new beginnings and old friends.” Bryce smiled. “Good.” The waitress arrived and took their drink and appetizer orders. Charlie opted for wine, and expected Bryce to order a beer, but he requested nothing more than water with a slice of lemon. “I get insecure when I drink,” Bryce explained as their server left. Charlie’s brows shot up. “Trust me. You have absolutely nothing to be insecure about. I am hooked, good and proper.” “Maybe now, but that’s not the way I felt last night.” “Which we’re not talking about. We’re moving on.” He paused. “Unless you think we need to talk about it.” “No, no, we don’t need to talk about it. You’re right, we should move on. I just…still feel a little bad about it.” Charlie leaned closer. Beneath the table, his knee pressed into Bryce’s. “Please don’t. It’s my job to be the anxious one, remember? You’re the hotshot pro here. If you get nervous, 54

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we’re doomed.” “Honestly, I’m not a hotshot pro. I just wanted you to think I was. You know, so you’d be impressed with my obvious prowess.” “Well, it worked. And I found out firsthand about your prowess last night, so I say that makes us even. Okay?” Bryce inclined his head. “Right. We’re even. I still intend to make you get out of the house and have fun, though.” Laughing, Charlie sat back and unfolded his napkin into his lap. “We’re out. We’re having fun. I think your nefarious plan worked wonders.” “We’re going to have a standing date. Every Saturday night.” Bryce smiled. “I’ve had plenty of time to think about all the things I want to do with you. And at least a quarter of those things involve leaving the house.” A standing date. They already spent a fair amount of their free time together anyway—being single men in a neighborhood of families and older couples had long ago driven them in that direction—but this was different. This was deliberate. A statement of, “I want to ensure I have this time with you.” There was nothing Charlie could do but agree. The hours passed quickly. Conversation got easier once they got past the anxiety of the night before, and in many ways, it was like any other time they spent together. It was easy. Comfortable. The primary differences lay in contact. Charlie never moved his knee away from Bryce’s, and more than once, Bryce reached across to touch him, his hand here, 55

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the corner of his mouth when he had marinara sauce clinging there. Appetizers came, entrees came, and still, all Charlie wanted was more of him. When the waitress arrived to clear their plates, Charlie wiped his hands and mouth before placing his napkin on the table in front of him. “I’d like my dance now,” he said, rising to his feet. He held out his hand for Bryce, his skin suddenly hot. “May I?” Bryce took Charlie’s hand without further prompting. When he stood, he didn’t avoid invading Charlie’s personal space. A beat passed, and Charlie forgot where they were. He forgot everything except the sudden proximity of Bryce’s solid form and warm breath that smelled vaguely of garlic. They crossed to the small dancing area, walking side by side. Charlie glanced around the room, watching for anybody staring at him. But nobody stared. Everybody was too caught up in their own romances, their own highs and dramas. “My guess is that you’ll want to lead,” Bryce murmured. Everything came down to those brilliant eyes, gazing into his. “I want to hold you,” he said, drawing him close. He took the lead anyway, folding their arms in order to erase the last of the distance between them, and bowed his head to kiss the soft spot below Bryce’s ear. Now he had the added scent of Bryce’s cologne, and his body went hard in an instant. “But don’t worry. I’ll give you the chance to lead later.” “I hope so.” Bryce wrapped his arm around Charlie’s waist, following Charlie’s steps easily. It soon became apparent that Bryce knew how to dance, knew the best way to 56

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move his body. It also became apparent that they moved well together. Not that Charlie could concentrate too much on dancing. Most of his attention was on the erection pressed against his hip, and the regular rhythm of Bryce’s breath. One song bled into two. Charlie didn’t even stop when the music paused in between. He couldn’t get over how wonderfully they fit. Bryce molded to him in all the right places; there was no awkwardness or clumsy adjustments in order to be able to touch as each so obviously wanted. By the end of the first verse in the second song, Charlie grew bolder. His mouth moved along the soft stubble at Bryce’s jaw, back and forth so their cheeks nuzzled, his breath fanned down the side of Bryce’s neck. “God, I love the way you feel,” he whispered. He felt Bryce’s smile, a twitch of muscle against his cheek. “I love the way you smell. Your cologne. Your sweat. Even your laundry detergent.” Charlie chuckled. “So have you been secretly smelling me every time we’re together?” “Well, yes. That’s not too creepy is it?” “Not any more creepy than me wishing I could sink my teeth into your ass every time I see it.” “Every time?” Bryce chuckled softly, his arm tightening around Charlie. “God, I wish you would have mentioned that sooner.” “Yeah, well, fitting ‘please let me eat your ass’ into everyday conversation isn’t as easy as you might think.” The second song ended, but the guitarist must have taken 57

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inspiration by their continued dancing because he launched immediately into the next. Charlie sighed with satisfaction. “I don’t want to stop.” “I know. Me, neither. But I think we should continue this back at your place, because honestly, I don’t think I can keep my hands in safe places for much longer.” “On one condition. You spend the night.” “You would have to bodily throw me from the house to make me leave.” A thrill went through Charlie. Though it was the last thing his body wanted, he broke the contact between them and stepped back. “Let’s go home then.”

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CHAPTER 5 The entire drive home, Charlie could barely talk. His body hummed with anticipation, his thoughts scattering from one fantasy to the next. He fought against the urge to undo his seat belt and blow Bryce while he was driving, but the scenario continued on in his head, morphing into Bryce’s good-natured refusal, Charlie’s subsequent removal of the man’s tie, followed by the use of that tie to bind Bryce’s hands to the steering wheel so he couldn’t stop Charlie from taking what he wanted. By the time Bryce pulled into his driveway, Charlie was a wreck of nerves, and he jumped from the car to half-jog up to the front door. 59

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“Hey, wait up,” Bryce called, walking briskly behind him. He didn’t reach the door until Charlie had it unlocked. “Where’s the fire?” When he glanced back, Charlie wondered if Bryce could see just how much he wanted him. If not, he’d feel it soon enough. “Inside.” He took his hand and tugged, not looking away until they had shut the door behind them. Bryce must have known exactly what Charlie was feeling, because he made the first move. His arm went around Charlie’s shoulders, and their mouths crashed together. Bryce kissed him with the same intensity, the same hunger as the night before. Except now it wasn’t dulled by the effects of too much wine. They slammed into the wall, both needing the brace it provided, as they attacked with teeth and tongues. Charlie clawed at Bryce’s tie. He needed it gone. He needed to feel that skin rubbing against his. It wasn’t enough now that he could feel Bryce’s erection jammed into his hip. Bare cock to bare cock. Body to body. That was what he wanted. That was what he’d always wanted. “Some of those Saturday nights are in, too, right?” he gasped between kisses. “Definitely. And Friday nights. And Sunday nights.” Bryce’s hands were as frantic as he pulled at Charlie’s buttons, popping them free. Charlie suspected their clothes were going to be mangled and destroyed by the time they reached the bedroom, but he didn’t care. They were just barriers, standing between him and what he really wanted. “And any other night 60

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you’d like.” At that moment, he wanted all of them. He wanted not to leave the fervent touches behind. He wanted to fuse their bodies together and never get out of bed. He wanted to erase fifteen years of denial and loss, and embrace what he’d missed, what he’d craved. But most of all, he wanted to get this damn tie off. Because his fingers had lost every sense of control the second he touched Bryce. His shirt hung open, half pulled from his waistband, when he shoved at Bryce’s shoulders, pushing him back in order to better see what he was doing. “I need this off,” he said at Bryce’s confusion. But then the younger man smiled and ducked his head, and Charlie lost all sensation in his hands completely as Bryce dragged his tongue over an exposed nipple. “And that’s not helping.” “It’s helping me.” Bryce straightened, just long enough to shrug his shirt off his shoulders. As soon as the material hit the floor, Charlie pulled him close, seeking the pressure of his hard chest and hot skin. Bryce’s mouth found the pulse point on his neck and sucked the skin between his teeth. The thing that made this better than necking like a couple of kids on the couch was knowing everything that had come earlier in the night, and everything that would come later. Charlie squeezed his eyes shut and was instantly taken back to those minutes on the dance floor, when he’d been able to hold somebody he liked and was attracted to in his arms, without fear of retribution from onlookers. Nothing could compare to that kind of freedom. He wondered if Bryce was fully aware 61

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of just how much he’d given Charlie. Molding his hands over Bryce’s back, Charlie buried his face in the other man’s neck, demanding his own taste of salty skin and throbbing pulse. Bryce shuddered against him, and his fingers dug into Charlie’s flesh, hard enough for him to know he would feel it long after they separated. Together, they kissed and sucked, nibbling at sinew that made both of them moan. Now that they had the contact, it seemed like nothing else mattered. Charlie thought he could dine for hours on just those few inches of stubbled skin. Nothing could distract Charlie from the texture and taste of Bryce’s skin until Bryce unzipped and stretched his fingers into Charlie’s pants, caressing his cock through his boxers. Each time nails lightly scraped over his length, Charlie twitched, wishing Bryce would push the underwear out of the way and wrap his hot hand around the throbbing flesh. “Maybe we should take this to my bedroom before things go too far,” Charlie panted. “I was just about to suggest the same thing. Because I am more than ready to take things too far.” So was Charlie. It felt like his whole life had been leading up to this. Taking Bryce’s hand, he bent to scoop up their shirts before leading him through the darkened house. It was pointless to bother with lights. They only had one destination in mind. There, however, the very first thing Charlie was going to do was turn on the light. He wanted to see every inch of Bryce, see everything they did together. He wanted this 62

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night to be branded on his memory in every way possible. “I have everything we might need.” Though he kept his voice low, it seemed to boom within the darkness. “And maybe stuff we don’t.” “What sort of stuff?” Bryce asked as Charlie led him into the bedroom. “You never know. We might need it.” He flicked on the overhead light and tossed their shirts onto a chair. “I don’t know what exactly you’re expecting.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, he drew Bryce between his legs and leaned in to lick along the other man’s firm stomach. “I still owe you a blow job, though. We don’t need anything but my mouth for that.” “I don’t have any real expectations.” He ran his fingers through Charlie’s hair and down the back of his neck. Charlie couldn’t help but shiver. The contact was simple and not anything arousing by itself, but it felt like the most intimate touch of the night up to that point. “What else do you want to do?” While his fingers worked at the belt, Charlie glanced up at him through his lashes. “Do we have limits?” “I don’t.” He traced Charlie’s jaw and ear. “Do you?” Charlie leaned slightly into the touch. “I don’t know.” The buckle came free, followed quickly by the button and zipper. “But I’ve been dreaming about your ass for years now. I’d like…” His throat worked, both in light of what he was about to ask and the delicious sight of Bryce’s cock coming into view. “I want to fuck you with my tongue, if that’s okay.” “God, Charlie. That’s okay. That’s more than okay. 63

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That’s…fantastic.” Bryce’s pants fell to his feet, finally allowing Charlie the opportunity to study his muscled thighs, his thick cock, the line of his hip, his heavy balls. He marked each detail before he reached out to touch. “I know it’s been a long time for you…and I don’t know what you’ve done before. But I’d like to fuck you.” I’d like to fuck you. The words rang inside his head. He’d thought it might be a possibility. The way Bryce had taken charge last night had hinted at it. He was even prepared for it, though it hadn’t been Bryce he had bought the supplies for. He’d had lube and condoms on the off-chance something happened with Dean. It was better, though, that it was his best friend. Charlie grazed his fingers down the heavy line of Bryce’s cock. “When it was…before, everything I did was pretty down and dirty. Blow jobs. Or a hand job.” He reached the sac and cupped it almost delicately in his palm, savoring its weight. “I’ve never had the chance to do anything else with another guy. Not fucking, or eating out their ass, or getting fucked.” Bryce’s eyes widened. “So tonight is basically going to be your yardstick for all future encounters.” “Yeah.” He laughed a little nervously. “So no pressure, right?” “Yeah, well, fortunately, I don’t buckle under pressure.” He hooked his finger under Charlie’s chin, forcing him to look up so Bryce could claim his mouth in a slow kiss. “But if anything is too much, be sure to let me know.” His skin sizzled, even with the gentle contact of the kiss. “I 64

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trust you. So if you want to fuck me, I’m all yours.” He smiled when Bryce straightened, curling his hand around the man’s erection. “Besides, I just said I’ve never been fucked. Not that I’ve never had anything in my ass before.” Bryce’s breath hitched. “Oh? What have you had in your ass?” Charlie angled Bryce’s cock down so that he could lick at the tip. “Oh, I went on a porno binge after Sarah moved out and got hooked on Johnny Hazzard. So I ordered the dildo they modeled on him.” Turning his head, he skimmed his lips halfway down the shaft, making sure to keep his eyes fixed upward on Bryce. “Yours is nicer, though.” “Thanks,” Bryce murmured, watching him with halflidded eyes, and he wasn’t sure what got to the younger man the most. His words or the way his mouth moved over his taut skin, like they had all the time in the world. He smelled of sweat and musk—that wholly masculine scent that always made Charlie’s mouth water for more. When he reached the base, he grasped Bryce’s length and tilted him back up again, pulling hard so that his balls were in better view. His nose nudged in the coppery hair, but it was the texture of the sac against his tongue that made him ache. He dropped his jaw in order to suck it past his lips and into his mouth. He wanted to be filled with this man. This was only the beginning. “Charlie…that feels…God.” Bryce palmed the back of his head, massaging his scalp gently. Charlie felt the tremble in his fingers, and he couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that he 65

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was already having such a strong effect on the other man. Even as he rolled his tongue around Bryce’s balls, it seemed like the contact so far had been minimal. A mere hint of all the things Charlie wanted to do, wanted to experience. He let him go, albeit reluctantly, and licked a different path up the side of Bryce’s shaft yet again. “You denied me this last night.” He circled the ridge behind the crown, then nibbled around on the second pass. “I tossed and turned thinking about it.” “You’re not the only one. All I could think about was…how you tasted, and how good your mouth felt when you kissed me. When I fell asleep, I dreamed about you.” Charlie hoped they had been frustrating dreams. He wanted Bryce to want him as badly as Charlie wanted him, though if the man’s dripping cock was anything to gauge by, they were probably very evenly matched. Thinking of the way it dripped in arousal drove Charlie back to the tip, and he dug into the slit in order to taste even more. His mouth exploded in a riot of flavor. The only thing that would be better would be swallowing Bryce’s come. Which required licking more than the head. Parting his lips, Charlie sank down onto Bryce’s length, keeping the suction tight. He gripped him at the base to hold him still, but his other hand went around to Bryce’s ass. Just the first touch of that firm flesh made him tremble, and he kneaded the cheek roughly, letting his fingers dip into the cleft. Bryce’s hand grew heavier where it rested on Charlie’s 66

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head, a hint of what he wanted to do, though he didn’t try to wrest the control from Charlie. Bryce’s cock wasn’t the first one he ever swallowed, but it might as well have been. He couldn’t remember tasting anything as delicious as Bryce’s skin. He couldn’t remember feeling anything as smooth as his shaft, or as velvety as the tip of his cock. And he knew he never heard anything like the noises coming from Bryce’s mouth. A sharp intake of breath, whispers of encouragement, groans when words weren’t necessary. He took it slow, concentrating on what exactly he was doing. This wasn’t just sex, or at least not the kind of sex he remembered. Sex before Sarah had been quick and dirty, unsatisfying in the end because it only hinted at everything Charlie wanted. Bryce was as willing as he was to be as thorough as they both needed. He let Charlie stop every once in a while at the tip and nibble a path down the side of his shaft. He panted in support when Charlie needed to duck and taste his balls again, experience the coarse texture of the hair against his tongue. He trembled from the restraint he held to not move and meet Charlie’s mouth when Charlie would slide down the length of his cock. Bryce was everything Charlie could wish for right then. And yet again, it amazed him that it had been right in front of his eyes the entire time. “Charlie, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” Charlie wound his tongue around Bryce’s cock as he rested his lips at the base. He didn’t quite know what Bryce was asking for, but he didn’t intend to stop doing any of it. 67

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“I want to come in your mouth. I need to feel that.” He slid back up the length, taking his time to trace the throbbing vein that ran along the underside. At the tip, he pulled back, holding Bryce steady as he looked up. The hungry ferocity in the green eyes sent a roll of shivers down Charlie’s spine. “Consider this blanket permission to come anywhere in or on me you like.” With that out of the way, Charlie swallowed the thick length down again, not stopping until it was wedged in his throat and all he could smell was the musky hair at the base of Bryce’s cock. Bryce gripped Charlie’s head with both hands, his palms covering his ears, his fingertips pressed into Charlie’s scalp. Bryce held him in place as he slid his length out of Charlie’s mouth. He started slow, at first, but when only the crown lingered between Charlie’s lips, he pushed forward quickly, filling Charlie’s throat. Charlie tried to move to meet each thrust, but Bryce held him tightly as he snapped his hips. There was no choice but to take it, to let Bryce fuck his mouth, bury his cock inside him, pull it out again to tease him with the taste of pre-come. It surprised him how freeing it felt. Charlie couldn’t deny how badly Bryce wanted him this way; the truth was there with every drive past his lips. But it also gave him liberty to do even more. To cup Bryce’s balls and squeeze every time he swallowed around the shaft. To seek out his tight hole and trace it with shaking fingers. To moan with hungry satisfaction the faster Bryce moved. 68

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“That’s it…fuck…that’s it…” Bryce’s balls tightened in Charlie’s hand, his only warning before Bryce buried himself in Charlie’s throat one more time. He barely had the chance to brace himself before hot come flooded the back of his mouth. Charlie swallowed convulsively. He had no other choice. Even then, it kept coming, faster than he could take in, and the terrifying fear that he’d choke drove him to concentrate even more. He closed his eyes. Breathed in Bryce’s scent. Held onto Bryce’s ass as they both trembled from the force of it. And just when he thought he couldn’t take anymore, the muscles in the other man’s body relaxed, his hips easing back so that he wasn’t completely sheathed in Charlie’s throat. He refused to let Bryce pull all the way out, though. The weight of Bryce’s cock on his tongue was almost as good as feeling the aftershocks of the orgasm rippling against his palms. Even though Charlie didn’t want to release him, Bryce gradually eased out of his mouth, inch by inch. As soon he was free, he collapsed on the bed, his breath still coming in sharp gasps. “I can’t remember the last time I felt anything like that.” Stretching out alongside him, Charlie propped his head up on his hand in order to be able to see every inch of Bryce. His skin had gone slightly pink, and sweat dampened his collarbone. On a whim, Charlie bent down and licked some of it away. “It’s good to hear I’m not nearly as out of practice as I was 69

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afraid.” “I definitely wouldn’t call you out of practice.” He hooked his fingers over Charlie’s waistband. “You are a bit overdressed, though.” With a smile, Charlie swatted his hand away. “Who said I was done?” He rose from the bed and went around the end, toeing off his shoes as he finished opening up his pants. “You promised I could get your ass. And since you’re not quite ready to fuck me yet…” “I think you’re not going to be happy until you literally drive me crazy with your mouth.” “You have a problem with that?” “Absolutely not. In fact, you’ll find I’m most agreeable.” Charlie had to bend slightly in order to get his pants and boxers off, but when he straightened to toss them aside, the first thing he saw was Bryce’s gaze locked on his body. His mouth went dry, and he was pretty sure his hand was shaking when he released the garments. “I’m just glad you want me to drive you crazy.” Charlie set his knuckles on the end of the bed and crawled up its length, unable to look away from the younger man as he settled above him. “Is this better?” “Much.” Bryce smoothed his palm up Charlie’s ribs and over his back. “It’s going to be nice, you know. Not trying to hide all the time I spend checking you out.” “That’s supposed to be my line.” Though it pleased him to no end that someone like Bryce had noticed him at all. “I’ve had straight friends before who got all weird because 70

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they thought I was checking them out. I didn’t want the same thing to happen with you. That didn’t stop me from looking every chance I got.” Charlie smiled. “When you get to be my age, you’re just glad anybody’s looking at all.” Bryce looked at him thoughtfully. “You don’t really notice it, do you?” “Notice what?” “Everybody looks at you, Charlie. Men. Women. Old. Young. Gay. Straight. You are the type of man everybody pays attention to.” He flushed at the compliment, but he could tell from Bryce’s tone that he meant every word of it. “I’ve spent most of my adulthood feeling like I was hiding behind this wall, and all I could do was peer over because I didn’t want anybody to see what I was really like.” Bowing his head, he grazed his lips along Bryce’s jaw. “This is what I’m really looking forward to. Not having to pretend anything with you, more than anyone else.” Charlie only a saw a flash of Bryce’s smile before he drew him down to press their mouths together. Bryce teased his lips, his tongue flitting over the seam and probing at the corner before finally pushing to deepen the caress. Charlie sighed, opening up to the slow onslaught. “You won’t ever have to do that again,” Bryce said against his mouth. “Not with me.” Though Bryce’s desire might be temporarily sated, Charlie’s was not. The touch of their tongues was enough to 71

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ignite the craving to get his mouth elsewhere on the gorgeous young man, and he reached down to grasp one of Bryce’s thighs. He pushed the leg up and sideways, smiling into the kisses when Bryce did the same automatically with the other one. “Time to work on making me happy again,” he teased. “Work? I think this is my favorite job,” Bryce murmured as Charlie began to move down his body. Despite Charlie’s eagerness to get his mouth on Bryce’s ass, he didn’t rush. He nibbled at Bryce’s throat, then drew a lazy pattern with his tongue down Bryce’s chest. He diverted to a dark nipple, dragging the flat of his tongue over the skin until Bryce arched his back. “Tell me how you like it.” Charlie switched to the other nipple, licking around it with just the tip of his tongue before flicking it into a taut peak. “If I feel the need to bite you, are you going to tell me to stop?” “Honestly, I don’t think you can do anything that would make me tell you to stop. Besides, I do like it a bit rough.” He had to close his eyes for fear of his relief shining through them. Not that Bryce was paying that much attention, but it was still good to know that so far, their needs and wants were evenly matched. Charlie mirrored each path of his mouth with one for his fingers, exploring the hard angles of Bryce’s hips long before he reached them. He especially liked the line of his pelvis, sloping down into his groin. He specifically diverted his tongue in order to lick across it, moaning in satisfaction when 72

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he did it yet again. “I can’t wait to fuck you.” Bryce’s words were thick and low. “Do you know how you want it? Because I want to pin you to the bed and pound into you until we’re both broken.” The sudden image he evoked made Charlie groan. “Sounds like an excellent plan to me.” He flattened his hands along the underside of Bryce’s thighs and pushed them up, exposing the dark crease of his ass, the darker shadow of his clenching hole. Each constriction echoed into Charlie’s body, and the need to know what it felt like swelled inside him. Charlie licked the seam of Bryce’s thigh, then angled closer, stopping at the velvety skin behind his balls first. “I have a feeling I’m going to be begging you to fuck me every time I see you,” he breathed. “You make me feel a little drunk on it all.” “That’ll…that’ll certainly give me incentive to visit often. I’ll…oh.” The words were cut off as Charlie’s tongue brushed across Bryce’s hole. “Oh, God.” He circled the tight hole again and again, and Bryce gasped and swore each time. He spread his legs even wider, digging his heels into the bed, pushing against Charlie’s mouth. Charlie filled his hands with the tight flesh and pulled the cheeks farther apart, his fingers hard in the muscle. His entire body shook with desire. His head spun. His mouth watered. Each of Bryce’s responses—even from such a simple thing as tracing his opening—stoked his need higher, consuming every 73

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thought, every impulse. He loved the way it twitched against his tongue. He loved the scrape of hair against his cheek. It was better than any fantasy he’d ever had. And there was only one way to make it even better than that. With careful deliberation, Charlie stopped his teasing and hovered over the hole. His tongue flattened against it for a moment, soothing the muscle. As soon as he felt it relax, he shifted yet again and pushed the tip of his tongue as deep inside the passage he could get. “Fuck. Fuck. Oh fuck.” Charlie couldn’t see Bryce’s face, but he could imagine it. His eyes screwed shut, his color high, pleasure marking his features. Just the tone of his voice was enough to let Charlie know that Bryce’s world had narrowed down to everywhere Charlie’s tongue touched his skin. Charlie closed his jaw slightly, just enough to let the points of his teeth scrape across Bryce’s sensitive flesh. That set off another volley of encouragement, and his hips began to rock. His grip pulled Bryce higher, off the bed, so Charlie could drive his tongue even deeper. Once it became clear Bryce was steady, Charlie let go with one hand and began playing with the man’s softened cock. It was too soon for him to get to full arousal yet, but eating his ass was starting to work Bryce up again. Charlie trailed his thumb down to Bryce’s balls, caressing them gently. Just that soft touch electrified Charlie. Within a few strokes, he rocked against the bed, rubbing his erection against the blankets at the same rhythm Bryce was moving. 74

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Bryce’s cock gradually began to harden under Charlie’s attention. He continued to massage Bryce while he fucked him with his mouth, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself as Bryce’s body grew harder and tighter, every muscle tensing. Charlie vibrated with their shared desire, aching to be pinned to the bed, but not enough to take his mouth from Bryce’s hot flesh. The sheets beneath his hips were damp from his pre-come, softening the friction of grinding against them. He slid a few inches to the left, in search of a dry patch, and snorted in amusement when Bryce followed with him. “I almost think you like this more than I do.” He looked down at Bryce’s hole, glistening and slightly open. “Do you get fucked, too, or do you always top?” “Versatile. I like it both ways.” Charlie groaned. “So if I suggest maybe getting a turn…” “You don’t have to suggest it. Tell me you want it.” His heart stopped. So much had gone right on this night already. So many steps taken. In some ways, he felt like a brand new man. In others, it felt like this was what he’d always been. There in the middle was Bryce, prompting him along so that he wouldn’t stumble. “I want to fuck you, too,” he managed to get out. “God, I can’t believe I actually said that out loud.” “I’m really glad you did. Because otherwise, I would have been forced to ask for it. I can still ask, if you want me to.” He didn’t need to hear it. He just needed to know one thing. 75

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“Do you want it now?” He licked a path up Bryce’s body, starting at his balls and ending at his throat. “Whatever you want. Just name it.” Bryce wrapped his arms around Charlie and rolled over, pinning him to the mattress in a swift, fluid move. “I already named it. Pinning you to the bed.” He moved his hips, allowing the tip of his erection to drag against Charlie’s abdomen. “You’re still on board with that, right?” “Oh, God, yes.” Though he couldn’t tear away from those green eyes, Charlie jerked his head toward the nightstand. “Everything’s in the top drawer. Use whatever you want.” Bryce sat up on his knees and rummaged through the drawer, pulling out several condoms and the lube. Charlie expected him to stop at that point, but he kept digging through the drawer until he held up the dildo. “I think this will be good to stretch you.” His brows shot up at the possibility. He hadn’t thought of it as a toy to use between lovers. It seemed extraneous when they already had two cocks to play with. “I can…” Charlie swallowed and tried again. “Are you going to do it, or do you want me to?” “Oh, I’m going to do it. I want to see how your ass looks when this splits you open.” As he spoke, he covered the toy with the lube, spreading it over the tip down the shaft. He sought out Charlie’s hole with his slick fingers, teasing the tight hole before easing his first finger into the channel. “Actually, save that thought. I think I’ll want to watch you do it later.” 76

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The intrusion was welcome, wanted, and Charlie squeezed around the finger in hopes of getting more. “The more you talk, the more I think we’re never getting out of this bed.” “That’s just crazy. We’ll have to get out of bed at some point for food.” Bryce rotated his wrist one way, then the other, spreading the lubricant before adding a second finger. “You know, to replenish our energy.” Charlie grabbed his knees in order to lift his ass a little higher for Bryce. “And those Saturday nights you promised me. Going out and having fun, you said.” He gasped when a third finger joined the two. It was about the same girth as the dildo, but damn if knuckles and nails didn’t make all the difference in sensation. “Though I think this certainly counts as its own fun.” “You think? I guess I’m going to have to make sure that you know by the time I’m finished.” He pulled his hand free and positioned the dildo at Charlie’s opening. The tip was so cold, Charlie tensed and tried to resist the intrusion. Bryce responded by grasping Charlie’s cock and stroking it with slow jerks of his wrist. As soon as Charlie began to relax, Bryce pushed the thick dildo past his clenched muscle. He’d fucked himself quite a few times with the toy, usually when he was so horny jacking off wouldn’t suffice. But in Bryce’s hands, it felt different. Bigger. Thicker. Impossible to take. Charlie’s blood pounded in his veins. Even now, his first instinct was to push it out, but if he did that, he’d never be ready for Bryce. For that thick, gorgeous cock, he needed to be as stretched as he could get. He didn’t want this first time 77

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ruined because he got a little anxious. It helped that Bryce kept stroking his cock. Everything he did seemed to make it better. Charlie was panting by the time Bryce stopped pushing it in, sweat beading his brow. “Is that all of it?” “Yes. All of it.” Bryce rotated the toy, slowly spinning it in his tight channel. A cascade of pleasure rolled down his spine, and his eyes rolled back as the dildo began its second rotation, and then its third. “God, Charlie…it’s amazing to see you like this.” “Now you know how I felt.” The burn ebbed into something more manageable, a flame that licked through Charlie’s body in long, slow undulations. Without thinking, he pushed against Bryce’s hands, ready to fuck the dildo himself if Bryce wasn’t willing to do so. “You can be rougher now. I can take it.” Charlie caught his breath as Bryce eased the toy out, and just as slowly pushed it forward again. Bryce was captivated by his own actions, his gaze locked on the disappearing shaft as he pumped his wrist. His other hand moved in time, and Charlie felt like he was being torn in two different directions, his cock throbbing, his muscles tingling, his blood racing through his veins. “I won’t be able to go slow when I’m finally inside you.” “I won’t want you to.” Bryce’s breath quickened. “Do you feel good and stretched?” “God, yes.” Charlie let go of his thigh to grab Bryce’s 78

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wrist, pushing so that the dildo slipped out. “No more of this. I want you.” Bryce fumbled with the condom, ripping the foil open to pluck out the prophylactic. It probably didn’t take more than five seconds for Bryce to unroll the condom down his shaft, but it felt like an eternity. Charlie throbbed, his skin prickling with sweat and heat. Once Bryce settled between his thighs, he clawed at him, trying to pull Bryce against him—and into him. For all his warning about not being able to go slow, Bryce took his time angling his body. He propped himself up, firm against Charlie’s desperation, and dragged his cock down the length of Charlie’s, across his balls, to his waiting hole. But even there, he didn’t slam inside. They both quivered with need, but Bryce still took his time, aligning himself perfectly before finally letting himself go. Charlie watched, enraptured, and never took a single breath. He held it, even as Bryce began to push. He held it until his ears throbbed and his lungs burned, but those were nothing compared to the exquisite stretch of his ass. His legs hooked automatically around Bryce’s hips, and his hands kept touching anywhere they could—the furred chest, a nipple, that angular waist. He didn’t even care as much about his own cock. Just the need to get Bryce into him as deep as he could possibly go. Bryce stopped once he was fully sheathed, and Charlie could feel each twitch, even the steady rhythm of Bryce’s pulse. “Charlie…oh my God…I…” Bryce cut himself off by slamming their mouths together, pushing his tongue past 79

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Charlie’s lips as he began to slide backward. Charlie didn’t let him go far. He wrapped his arms around Bryce and held on with everything he had. He sucked on Bryce’s tongue, raked nails down his back, and dug his heels in when Bryce tried to pull out too far. If he let him go, it would end too soon, and Charlie wasn’t ready for that. Not by a long shot. Even with his aching cock trapped between their stomachs, his balls practically blue from needing to come, he wasn’t ready for this to be over. Despite their earlier words, the rhythm they fell into was almost excruciatingly slow, Bryce shuttling into his ass with deliberation. The only time Bryce lifted his head was to gasp for breath, and then their mouths were fused again. There wasn’t an inch of space between them. Charlie couldn’t remember the last time he had been so close to another person—the last time he had felt another’s heart pounding against his chest, the last time he had shared his oxygen, his lungs expanding and contracting with Bryce’s air. Could it really be this easy? The questions tumbled inside Charlie’s head. The answers were there, too, but he didn’t dare believe them. Nothing had been easy. He’d spent most of his life in a lie. Sharing himself with Bryce now was supposed to be a lesson learned, not a doorway to everything he’d always wanted. But with each stroke into his body, Charlie thought it might just be. When he touched Bryce, the other man made sounds of such pure pleasure, they reverberated through Charlie, too. And each time Bryce found a new place to claim, 80

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Charlie was convinced it couldn’t get any better than that. His lips were raw from Bryce’s stubble, his skin was slick with their sweat, and all he could think about was how next to drive Bryce crazy. “Charlie…” The soft word took Charlie by surprise. Mainly because Bryce barely took his mouth away from Charlie’s lips and face. He strained to hear more over his own pounding heart and rapid breaths. “You’re perfect. God. You’re so perfect.” “I’m not,” he denied, though he wasn’t so sure Bryce heard him. He slipped a hand up to cup the back of Bryce’s head and deliberately moved his mouth closer to the man’s ear. “I just think this is the way it’s supposed to be.” “You’re right. I’ll prove it, every day if you let me.” Everything in Charlie quivered. He pressed his lips to Bryce’s neck and tightened his hold, squeezing as hard as he could around the cock pistoning in and out of his ass. “Starting with tonight. Now.” Charlie gasped when electricity shot through his veins, and again when Bryce slammed into his hole and across his prostate. “Oh, fuck, don’t stop. Do it, just like that.” Bryce didn’t shift the angle, but he did quicken the tempo. Charlie had no choice but to cling to Bryce, holding him as tight as he could while his cock scraped across Bryce’s stomach. The friction created between their two bodies was intense, but Charlie barely felt it when compared to the heavy pressure against his prostate. 81

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“Charlie…I need you to come…need to feel it…” Maybe it was the permission he’d been waiting for; Charlie didn’t know. All he understood was that fire—whitehot and blood-red—laced in and around his body, tightening and squeezing and suffocating until he didn’t know up from down, left from right. Bryce’s mouth skimmed his shoulder, and Charlie did the same, hoping for some semblance of control to return, or if it was gone for good when it came to this amazing, surprising man. But it didn’t. It only escalated and careened out of his reach, and he had to bite down on Bryce’s neck in order not to scream when his orgasm ripped through his flesh. Bryce’s nails dug into Charlie’s flesh, holding tightly as he shuddered again and again. Both of them were shaking so hard, moaning so loud, that for a moment, Charlie was sure they were experiencing the same climax. Bryce’s cock jerked against Charlie’s walls, and come coated their stomachs and chests, mingling with the sweat, spreading on their skins as Bryce continued to rock into his body. “I…I…God, Bryce…if I’d known it could be like that…” Charlie swallowed. His throat was too dry for speech, his head too much of a mess to form a coherent thought. The best he could manage was an open-mouthed kiss over the section of skin he’d bitten when he came. “Hell, I didn’t even know it could be like that.” Charlie chuckled. “You’re supposed to be my training wheels.” “I’m not too bad with the physical stuff. But you might 82

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need to be training wheels for the other side of things.” His hands stilled where he’d been stroking down Bryce’s body. Slowly, he unwrapped his legs and groaned at the ache in his hips. “Other side?” “Yeah. The emotional side of a relationship. You know. Since I’ve never been in love with anybody before.” “Is that…” Charlie nudged at Bryce until his softening cock slipped out, and he held back his slight wince as he rolled them onto their sides. A heavy, sated glow was in Bryce’s bright eyes, one Charlie had never seen before. One he couldn’t look away from. “Is that what’s going on here?” “Yeah. It is. And don’t think this means I need you to say it now or anything. Because I have had a long time to think about this and you haven’t. But I’ve decided I need to be honest with you, so…” So. Charlie couldn’t lie to himself and say Bryce was caught up in the moment. He knew every word was true. Bryce had been more than clear when he’d come over before his non-date with Dean. Their night together had gone fabulously well. The sex was phenomenal. It made sense Bryce would go there. It was just more than a little scary to actually hear. “No, honesty is good.” And he meant it. “Which means I should probably tell you that was the most amazing sex I’ve ever had.” Bryce paused a beat, his gaze locked on Charlie’s face, before nodding. “Well, you know me. I aim to please.” Resting his head on his pillow, Charlie caressed Bryce’s 83

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hip, drinking in every detail. “You do more than that,” he murmured, and leaned closer. The kiss was soft and almost sweet in comparison to their more frantic fucking earlier, and Charlie sighed at how good it really felt. He just wondered if it felt a little too good.

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CHAPTER 6 Charlie’s stomach growled as the chopped vegetables sizzled in the bottom of the omelet pan. He’d woken up starving, and not even the warm body sprawled next to him was enough to keep him in bed. In actuality, that warm body was further reason for him to get out of the bed. He wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to face Bryce after the events of the night before. Bryce loved him. He’d never said the words again, but the proof had been there in every kiss, in every touch. They had finally fallen asleep around three, and while Charlie’s body had been glutted on pleasure, his emotions weren’t nearly as quiescent. There was no doubt Bryce was his best friend, or 85

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that they’d had a great time together. But how could Charlie commit to anything as serious as love when he’d only been on the scene for a few weeks? True, he’d never been looking for a fling. It wasn’t in him to be so completely casual. But he’d literally had one date as a gay man. Coffee with Dean didn’t count. Bryce had been his only encounter in fifteen years, and the fact that they had been friends for so long beforehand had simply made it almost inevitable. Charlie had no realistic way of knowing what it meant to be gay if he committed to Bryce so soon. What if he’d reacted to the sex so strongly just because it was his first time? Because he’d waited so long for it? Because Bryce could read him so well and knew how to push his buttons? He felt like an asshole for even thinking of such questions, though. Bryce had been honest with him from the beginning, and here he was, making the man a huge breakfast in hopes that he could bribe him with food in order not to look so bad when he laid it out. Because he knew he had to. He owed Bryce that much. “I really think I could eat a horse,” Bryce said as he entered the kitchen. His arm went around Charlie’s waist and he rested his chin on Charlie’s shoulder. “Are you frying up a horse?” “Too tough first thing in the morning. I thought omelets might go down easier.” He gestured with the spatula toward the other end of the counter. “There’s fresh coffee if you want some. This will just be another minute or two.” Bryce tightened his arm and pressed his mouth to Charlie’s 86

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neck. He stopped himself from stiffening in response, but he didn’t move to return the caress. “Fresh coffee is good.” Bryce released him before reaching for a cup. “Omelets are good, too. Can I have mine with extra cheese?” “Sure. I’ll just put more on top and pop it under the broiler.” Cooking gave him something to do with his hands, and an excuse not to look in Bryce’s direction as he focused on the food. Bryce’s gaze weighted every one of his steps, though. Charlie knew the moment he looked up, he’d be a goner. He’d end up blurting out how he felt, or Bryce would see the truth, and that would be it. The killer was this was what he’d worried about all that time before, when he’d deliberately held the truth back from Bryce. He didn’t want to lose his best friend, and yet, at the very first chance he got, it looked like that was probably going to happen anyway. “You want to watch the morning news while we eat?” he asked as he dished up. “No, not really. It’s Sunday morning. There are only political talk shows, and I can’t watch those jerks and eat at the same time.” So much for stalling. Charlie grabbed some silverware and picked up the two plates, jerking his chin at the cup sitting next to the stove. “Can you bring my coffee for me, please?” “No problem.” Bryce followed right behind him. Close enough that if 87

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Charlie stopped, Bryce would probably slam into his back. Was he purposefully crowding him? Or was it just his imagination? He suspected it might have been a little bit of both. As soon as they were both seated at the table, Bryce inhaled with an obvious look of appreciation. “This looks great. Thanks.” It smelled even better. Charlie picked up his fork and dug into the eggs. “I’m starving after last night.” “Me, too. We definitely burned off all that heavy Italian food from dinner.” “To say the least.” They lapsed into silence as they ate. Charlie tried not to notice how stiff the distance was between them. Before this weekend, Bryce would have been chattering away. Now he seemed to be waiting for Charlie, though for what purpose, Charlie had no idea. The longer it stretched, however, the worse it got. Charlie knew he had to say something. Bryce deserved honesty. Hell, he deserved a lot more than that, but there was no way Charlie was in any kind of place to give it to him at that moment. He cleared his throat. “Isn’t Thursday night queer night at the Oasis? I was thinking I might try it out this week.” Bryce had been chewing, but his jaw slowed, and then stilled as Charlie spoke. “By yourself?” “Yeah. I think. I mean, it seems like a good idea.” He tried to smile but he knew it didn’t work. “The training wheels have to come off some time, don’t they?” 88

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“Yeah.” He took a swallow from his coffee. “Yeah, I mean, if you’re comfortable going out by yourself, you should.” “Well, I don’t know if I’ll ever be comfortable, but if I don’t do it now, I’ll never find the nerve.” Charlie looked down at his half-eaten omelet. He should’ve waited to talk about this until after he’d finished. He’d lost his appetite now. “No, I guess you won’t.” Bryce dropped his fork and pushed his plate away. “I’ve got some errands to run this morning. I’m gonna go get dressed.” When Bryce stood up and turned away, Charlie’s instinct was to stop him. Don’t go, he wanted to say. Let’s talk about this. But he didn’t want to talk about it. He hadn’t wanted to bring it up in the first place. He watched Bryce disappear down the hallway, listened to the bedroom door open and shut, and all the while wondered, Why did you have to say you loved me? Because that made all the difference. *

*

*

Charlie had never actually gone to Oasis before. He’d only discovered its existence from his research about what was available to gay men in Denver. Its Queer Night was supposed to be one of the better weekly events in the city, with live bands, a slightly older demographic, and good reviews online. Dancing and lots of sweaty men looking for sex wasn’t exactly what Charlie had in mind, but in his desperation with Bryce Sunday morning, it was the only thing he could think 89

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of. Bryce. Just thinking about him hurt. They hadn’t seen each other since Bryce had rushed out of the house while Charlie was cleaning up, and though he’d picked up the phone more than once to call him, Charlie had always set it back down again. What was he going to say? He would end up ruining things even more than he had. As it was, he was pretty sure it was going to be a long time before Bryce would even speak to him again. Charlie had taken his feelings and stomped all over them. He didn’t even really want to go to Oasis. If Bryce couldn’t see his driveway from his house, Charlie would have just stayed in. But that would be even worse. Oh, yeah, that story about going to Oasis? All a lie. I’m just a bastard who doesn’t know what to do when the first man he fucks says he loves him. Sorry about that. No, he had to go. He had to do this. It was why he’d shut Bryce out, after all. He didn’t come out of the closet to then never experience what it was like to actually be gay. Going to Oasis was exactly what he needed to make that step. Except it wasn’t anything like he’d anticipated. He’d dressed casually, in jeans and a nicer T-shirt, but the second he stepped inside the club, he was assaulted from every angle. The DJ played some techno dance crap, and there were bodies everywhere, people of every shape and size laughing and touching and looking at him as soon as he came into view. Eyes raked over him, hot and hungry. Apparently, subtlety got checked at the door. Charlie had never felt more conspicuous 90

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in his entire life, and he hadn’t even made it to the bar yet. It was going to be a very long night. He fought his way through the crowd, spinning out of reach when random hands tried to pull at him. He sighed with relief when he hit the bar, but his relief was short-lived. Almost as soon as he found a free barstool, a guy about his age moved in. As though he had been lying in wait. “You new here? Let me buy you a drink.” The guy seemed pleasant enough, with thinning dark hair and dark eyes. But Charlie smiled and shook his head, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. “No thanks. I’m fine.” “Whatever, man.” He pushed away from the bar—probably to find somebody more receptive to his charms. God knew the pickings weren’t slim. It felt like every gay man in Denver had to be there. Every gay man, that is, except one. A part of him wanted to scan the crowd for Bryce’s familiar face, but no part of him really thought Bryce would show up that night. Two more men offered to pay for his refill, and two more men walked away disappointed. Charlie caught the bartender’s curious gaze more than once, but he didn’t feel like explaining why he was hanging out at the club on Queer Night if he wasn’t actually going to talk to any of the guys. He didn’t actually have an answer to that anyway. Because it didn’t make a whole lot of sense, even to him. The next guy who approached didn’t speak to him right away. Stepping into the space between Charlie and the stool, he leaned forward and ordered a Beck’s before glancing in 91

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Charlie’s direction. Blue eyes. A dimple. Shoulders that made it impossible to see around him. Before Charlie could look away, the guy told the bartender to fill up Charlie’s nearly empty pint glass. The refusal died on Charlie’s lips. Maybe it was the beer getting to his head. Or maybe he was tired of wondering what he was doing here if he wasn’t going to at least say hello to someone. “Thanks,” he said, and though his stomach threatened to revolt, he stuck out his hand. “I’m Charlie.” “Henry,” the other man returned, taking his hand with a firm grip. “Have you been here before? I ask because you look like I feel.” “First time.” Charlie smiled. “I really look that out of place?” “Just a bit uncomfortable. Which I totally get.” “You don’t look uncomfortable to me.” He dared scanning downward, drinking in the denim stretching across Henry’s powerful thighs. “At all.” “I’m good at faking it. I think I just keep coming here on the off-chance I might meet a guy closer to my own age. It seems like they’re all…” He gestured at the full dance floor. “Getting younger all the time.” It was hard not to grin at that. Charlie had been thinking the exact same thing. “I’m still not sure why I’m here tonight,” he confessed. “It’s not exactly my kind of place.” Henry smiled, and Charlie noticed he had perfect teeth. 92

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Really perfect teeth. Caps? “What is your kind of place?” An image flashed through his head, a smaller man than Henry pressed to his as they danced, a soft guitar playing in the background. His body responded just to the memory, and he glanced down at his beer, the sudden taste and smell of Bryce flooding his senses. “Home, actually.” When he realized what that sounded like, he hastily added, “Or Italian restaurants. Those work, too.” Henry’s smile widened. “I like Italian restaurants. Have you had anything to eat tonight?” He hadn’t, because he hadn’t wanted to get sick in case his nerves failed him, but he didn’t really feel like going out now. There would be small talk, and getting to know each other, and what if Henry had the same negative feelings about kids that Dean had? Bryce loved Christian. He needed to stop thinking about Bryce. He’d come out to prove a point, even if he was starting to wonder what exactly that point was. Swigging down the last of his beer to fortify his nerves, Charlie rose from the stool. “How about we show these kids how to dance first?” The music had shifted into something slower, something even he might be able to move to. And maybe it would erase the memory of dancing with Bryce instead. “I think they could stand to learn a thing or two,” Henry 93

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said, setting his nearly empty glass down. For a moment, Charlie thought Henry would take his hand and drag him out on the floor, but he stopped just short of that. He led Charlie to a small, open space before touching him. With a firm hand on Charlie’s hip, he drew him close. They were close to the same height, but Henry was broader, his grip stronger. He didn’t give Charlie the opportunity to lead, if this kind of music even called for that kind of partnership, and the solid press of their bodies sent conflicting signals to Charlie’s brain. On the one hand, hot guy holding him. A hot guy with muscles. And a thick cock getting harder with each passing second. Charlie had waited his whole life to be in exactly this place. On the other hand, the hot guy was a near stranger. More importantly, it wasn’t Bryce. Bryce, who didn’t feel the need to wrest even more control when Charlie already felt so out of his depth. Bryce, who loved his son and let him go out for this night without a single word of protest and offered to be his training wheels when Charlie felt like he was floundering. Bryce, who left a tangible hole in Charlie’s life when he wasn’t there. He pulled back before the song was over, but when Henry tried to stop him, Charlie shook his head. “I need to go. I’m sorry.” “Wait. Is there something wrong?” “Not with you. There’s somebody I need to see.” On a whim, Charlie pressed closer and kissed Henry’s cheek. Even 94

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that was wrong. Too smooth. “Thanks for the dance.” Pressing through the crowd, he escaped the dance floor with his head clearer than it had been all night. He’d been trying so hard to be gay, he’d forgotten one simple fact. It was never about fitting into a lifestyle. It was about finally being himself.

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CHAPTER 7 Charlie Labrecque was nervous. Though he had a script in mind, he knew perfectly well that even the most well-rehearsed words could get twisted, or forgotten, or ignored. It was entirely possible he would open his mouth, and everything that came out would be wrong, and he would be back exactly where he started from. The only thing that kept his feet moving toward the front door was the knowledge that it couldn’t get any worse. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And the last time he’d made this kind of attempt, it had gone much better than he’d ever imagined. His hand shook as he knocked at Bryce’s door. When he 96

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realized it was also sweating, he hastily rubbed his palm against his pants. He had started sweating while practicing in front of his mirror that afternoon. He had hoped he wouldn’t have any sweat left in his body by this point. There was a good chance Bryce would be out, but he opened the door a few minutes later and blinked. “Oh. Hey. Come on in.” The invitation took Charlie by surprise. He’d expected to have to grovel just to get inside. He didn’t turn it down, though. He was going to take every advantage he could get. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” “Nope. Just making myself some dinner.” He gestured absently toward the kitchen. “Fortunately, you knocked before I added the critical element. Milk.” “Milk? What are you making?” “Cornflakes with a side of bananas. You want some?” Charlie stared at him for a long moment before blinking and shaking his head. “No, actually. I, um…” He took a deep breath. “Maybe we could go grab something a little more substantial. My treat.” “Oh…well…I already poured out the cereal and sliced the banana. But I’ll take a rain check.” Disappointment slashed through him. He had hoped…but of course, Bryce wouldn’t want to go out. Charlie couldn’t say he’d be willing to even let someone in who’d been so inconsiderate. “Can I change my mind on your offer, then? I’d like to talk to you, if I could.” 97

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“Yeah. Talking. Sure.” Bryce sounded less than enthused about the prospect, but at least he had agreed rather than trying to push Charlie out the door. “I guess we had to get this out of the way sooner or later.” Charlie caught his arm before he could turn toward the kitchen. “It’s not like that. I want to apologize, not push you away even more.” Bryce smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You don’t really have to let me down easy. I know I made a mistake.” “It wasn’t a mistake. I’m the one who messed up, not you. I got scared, and I overreacted.” He ventured a step closer, though he didn’t dare release Bryce. It was the first thing to feel right in a week. “All this time, I’ve been worrying about how I was going to fit in, but it dawned on me that I’m really over-thinking all of this. I just wanted to be happy. I wanted to stop pretending. But I never had to with you. Never. Not before, and definitely not after. Last Saturday was…the most amazing night of my life. Hands down. And maybe I only deserve to have the one after the way I treated you. But if I don’t fix this, I’ll just stay up all night, every night, wondering why I’m dating the Deans of the world. Instead of dating you.” “Are you sure you want to date me right now? I know I went too fast and I probably pushed you too hard. I really will understand if you want to just pull back and…I don’t know…start somewhere before ill-timed declarations.” “If I didn’t want us to date, why would I have shown up on our special date night?” Charlie tried to smile, but the longer it took for Bryce to make some sort of decision, the harder this 98

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got. “Saturday nights. We promised. I want to keep that promise.” Bryce licked his lips. “What about the other nights we discussed? You know, Friday and Sunday, for starters.” “You can have anything you want. All I ask for is you.” “Charlie…” For a moment, Bryce’s hand fluttered between them, like he didn’t know what he wanted to do with it. His name hung between them, and Charlie held his breath, knowing that this was the moment where things could go either way. He didn’t release his breath until Bryce gripped the back of his neck and brushed his lips across Charlie’s mouth. In that moment, Charlie knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’d made the right decision. “Tell me what to do to make it all up to you,” he said, his words rushed. “Anything. You name it.” “Don’t worry about it. You don’t need to…make anything up to me. Unless you want to stay here tonight and make up for the week we’ve lost.” Charlie drowned in Bryce’s bright eyes, the eyes he’d dreamed about every night for the past six days “I don’t want to go,” he murmured. “Part of the reason I got so scared last weekend is because it didn’t seem possible that something so right could happen so effortlessly. That you could have been there the whole time and I just needed to say please and I’d have everything I’ve always wanted.” Bryce snorted. “Imagine how scared I was when I took one look at my married neighbor and fell head over heels.” “You hid it well.” 99

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“I didn’t really hide it. I just tried to treat you like you deserve. I don’t want you to think I was just your friend because I was settling for whatever I could get, you know?” “I don’t.” His gaze dropped to Bryce’s mouth. He wanted another kiss, but he didn’t want to press his luck. “Are you going to let me take you out now?” Bryce began walking, pushing Charlie backward until his shoulders touched the wall. “How about you let me keep you in?” Charlie swallowed. When Bryce took control like that, every nerve ending in his body dropped to its knees to beg for more. “Yes, please.” He rested a shaking hand on Bryce’s hip. “I just want to be with you. I don’t care where.” “Good.” He claimed Charlie’s mouth with a kiss that only hinted at his hunger. “Because I’ve missed you so much this week.” Sliding his hold downward, Charlie cupped Bryce’s ass and squeezed, groaning in anticipation against Bryce’s lips. “Enough that you’ll skip the cornflakes for me?” “I’ve already forgotten about the cornflakes.” Bryce’s hand pushed beneath Charlie’s shirt, his knuckles brushing over his ribs. His mouth wandered from Charlie’s lips, teasing his earlobe before moving to nuzzle his throat. “You smell good.” Charlie tilted his head to ease the way, his lashes fluttering shut as each scrape of stubble brought new goose bumps to the surface of his skin. His other hand came down to grab the other side of Bryce’s ass, and he used the hold to grind their 100

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midsections together. “You feel good. God, you feel good.” Blindly, he turned to claim another kiss, this one harsher, more desperate than its predecessor. Now that he had Bryce back in his arms, he couldn’t stop shaking in relief and more than a little need. He wouldn’t let go this time. He might not ever let go again. “I need to get these clothes off of you,” Bryce murmured, but he was distracted from that task by another long, hungry kiss. “So glad you’re here…” He clawed at Charlie’s shirt, but he refused to step back, and didn’t get far with his attempt. He moaned with frustration. “Let’s get to the bed first.” It sounded like the best plan ever, but executing it was more difficult than he’d imagined. Bryce wouldn’t stop kissing—not that Charlie wanted him to—and Charlie couldn’t seem to let go of his ass—not that Bryce seemed to mind that, either. They fell against one wall, then another, before finally stumbling through an open door into a darkened room. “Please tell me I can fuck you tonight,” Charlie panted between kisses. “I don’t care when. Just sometime.” “God, yes. Please.” He gripped Charlie’s cock through his pants. “I want that so much, I would have asked.” They didn’t bother with the light. After a few moments, Charlie’s eyes adjusted to the dim room—enough to see the desire on Bryce’s face when he lifted his head. Charlie wasn’t familiar with the room, and he wasn’t prepared for the bed when it hit the back of his legs. Bryce gently shoved him to the mattress, his hands going to Charlie’s belt. 101

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The other man was more of a silhouette than solid form as he opened first the buckle and then the button and zipper. Mesmerized, Charlie kicked off his shoes and lifted his hips when Bryce yanked the pants down his legs, and he feverishly pulled his shirt off over his head before Bryce needed to do it himself. His chest tightened when Bryce didn’t move, when he just stood there and gazed down at him. Even without being able to see the details, he was helpless under Bryce’s appreciation. Slowly, Charlie fisted his cock, watching Bryce lick his lower lip at the same tempo he pulled on his shaft. “It wasn’t just because it was my first time, was it?” It was the burning question of the week for him. “Last Saturday. It wasn’t so fantastic because I’d waited so long to experience it. It really was because it was you and me, wasn’t it?” Bryce didn’t answer immediately. He pushed his sweats off and lifted his shirt overhead, giving Charlie a chance to return the appreciative stare. He straddled Charlie’s hips and fell forward, catching himself on his hands with his mouth only an inch away from Charlie’s. “It was all you and me. I’ve been with plenty of guys, Charlie, and it’s never been like that before.” The heat overwhelmed him. From Bryce’s skin, the weight of his body, the intoxicating shine in his eye. Charlie skimmed his fingertips up the other man’s spine, shivering himself when the muscles rippled with each soft touch. “We’re going to have to test that theory with lots and lots of trials.” He licked lightly over the stubble on Bryce’s chin, 102

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whimpering at the glorious texture. “Just to be sure.” “I always enjoy testing theories.” He skimmed his mouth over Charlie’s brow. “And I think you’ll be quite pleased with the results.” Bryce caressed his chest, dragging his fingers down his body and over the tight muscles in his stomach. They both shuddered when his nails scraped across Charlie’s shaft, and the shudders turned into full moans when Bryce closed his fingers around the throbbing flesh. “God, what you do to me…” Charlie grasped the back of Bryce’s neck and guided him back to claim his mouth again. He sucked Bryce’s tongue into his mouth, encouraging him to explore, while he deliberately scraped his lips over and over the stubble as much as he could. It helped to contain his cries, because Bryce never eased the grip on his cock. He didn’t even stroke him. He seemed perfectly content just to squeeze at irregular intervals, as if offering Charlie a taste of how tight his ass was going to be. “Don’t move,” Bryce said, the words hot against Charlie’s mouth. “I need to get the condom.” It was difficult to relinquish his hold on the other man, but Charlie let him go long enough to lean off the side of the bed. Charlie was quite certain it took the space of an eternity for Bryce to find the box of condoms and the lube. Why did he keep it in such an inconvenient location? They’d have to be sure to keep everything in touching distances from now on. He caught the wrist holding the lube and took it away. Nobody was touching Bryce’s ass but him. “How long before 103

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we can dump the condoms altogether?” he asked, his voice husky with desire. “We’re going to be exclusive, right?” “I’m pretty sure I’m clean, but I’ll schedule myself for another test, just to be sure. As for being exclusive…that depends on if you’re done sowing those wild oats.” Flipping open the lube, Charlie slicked up two fingers, his eyes unwavering. “I don’t want anybody but you.” He couldn’t help his smile. “You were the one who kept pressuring me to go out looking for some fun sex with random strangers I found in bookstores.” “Yes, well…I was trying to help. I never claimed to be the smartest guy on the block.” Charlie tossed the tube aside and reached around Bryce’s hip. His fingertips skimmed down the crease, halting when he reached the tight pucker. “Smarter than me,” he said as he slowly sank both fingers into the hole. The heat made him gasp. He assumed it was the penetration that did it for Bryce. Slowly, he twisted his hand, back and forth, to stretch the muscle. “God, I love your ass. You have to let me eat you out again.” Bryce pushed back, fucking himself on Charlie’s fingers while his breath grew more ragged. “I already told you once. Tell me what you want. What you’re going to do.” He dropped his head and licked Charlie’s chest. “You don’t always have to ask for permission.” “You might have to tell me again.” His forearm trembled, as much from the sensation of Bryce squeezing around his finger as the whole enormity of what the man insisted. “It still 104

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seems a little surreal that I can even have it. And I’m not…I don’t want to mess this up.” He cupped the back of Bryce’s head and waited until he met his eyes. “I want this to work. So if that means you walk into a room and I tell you to bend over so I can sink my tongue into your ass, I guess I’ll just have to do it.” “Yes, I guess you’ll have to do that.” Bryce rocked back and paused, his tight muscles trembling. “I want you to be happy. If that means I have to bend over for your tongue…” He clenched. “Or your fingers. Or your cock…whenever you say so, then I guess I don’t have a choice.” “No, no choice.” Charlie tested curling his fingers to see what kind of response he’d get, smiling when Bryce locked around him. “Making me happy means pounding me into the mattress when I need it, too. On a fairly regular basis.” “I can handle that. Even if that means I have to make special trips to your house…” Bryce dropped his head and moaned. “Okay…I can’t…take this anymore.” Charlie brushed his mouth against his temple. “Which part? My fingers or all our plans? Because I gotta say, I’m having fun with both.” “Your fingers. They’re just making me hungry for your cock.” “Even if I give you another?” He didn’t mean to tease Bryce, but their back and forth games had put him in a more playful mood. Locking one arm around Bryce’s waist, Charlie held him still as he pulled his fingers out, only to curl all four of his fingers together and push them inside. “Or maybe all of 105

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them, instead.” The cords of muscle stood out in Bryce’s neck and shoulders, and he gasped Charlie’s name again and again. He didn’t pick up the same rhythm he had before, but his thighs trembled, light shivers running through his body. He groaned as Charlie eased his fingers out of the stretched channel, and finally began to move as Charlie pushed inside again. “You’re…really…going to kill me here. God…don’t stop yet.” “I won’t.” He couldn’t. The look on Bryce’s face made him throb in ways he’d never imagined were possible. His skin pulsed, his cock ached, but Charlie couldn’t look away from the bliss written across the other man’s features. If this brought him so much pleasure, what would fucking him for real do? Charlie only knew one thing. “You have to ride me.” He drove his hand in, burying the fingers to the knuckles and twisting. “You’re going to ride me so I can see everything this does to you.” “Yes, yes. I will.” He reached for a condom that had been forgotten on the bed, his fingers closing around it after the second attempt. He tore into the foil with his teeth—a move that was already familiar to Charlie, but had been much more fluid the previous week. Now Bryce was shaking, and he paused and took a deep breath every time Charlie twisted his wrist. “Let me…get this on you…” Reluctantly, Charlie pulled away, but he only got his hands out of the way long enough for Bryce to slide back onto his thighs in order to reach his cock. Because he needed to touch 106

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Bryce. He needed to run his fingers over that lightly furred chest, tweak the already taut nipples. He needed to draw his thumb over that succulent mouth, groaning aloud when Bryce parted his lips and bit at the fleshy pad. The condom snapped into place, and the very first thing Charlie did was settle his hand on Bryce’s hip and push him up. He held his breath as Bryce grasped his length, everything tunneling down to the way he angled it away from Charlie’s body, the way he positioned it at his stretched hole, the gleam in his eye when he finally began to sink down onto it. “Oh, God…” It was all Charlie could articulate. Nothing had prepared him for this. Nothing had ever felt so hot, so tight, so perfect before. The muscles in his legs locked, his entire body rigid while he waited for Bryce to take him all the way in. One inch. Another. He moved excruciatingly slowly. By the time Charlie felt Bryce’s perfect ass brush against Charlie’s balls, they were both shaking. “Don’t move,” he gasped. “Let me just…” Bryce responded with a closed-mouth moan—one that was a little higher pitched than the others. He gripped Charlie’s shoulders, nails digging into flesh, back arching, sweat running down his throat and chest. Bryce’s eyes were closed, and he looked completely lost in the sensation of being filled, of being stretched. Lost in the slow burn Charlie knew he was experiencing. It was worth it to watch him. To monitor and record every passing second. Ultimately, Charlie wasn’t sure who moved first. They both needed the friction, but Bryce barely allowed an inch to 107

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leave his body before he slammed back down again. His muscles flexed and quivered, tightening around Charlie until they were both throbbing. “You’re going to be the one to kill me here,” Charlie rasped. Desperate for something to keep him focused, he fisted Bryce’s cock, running his nail along the slit. Bryce immediately clenched around his length, driving Charlie to snap his hips upward. They both groaned. “Just ride me, damn it. You know you want to.” Bryce smiled. “I like it when you get bossy.” He straightened, his hands leaving Charlie’s shoulders, and rose up on his knees. Charlie almost protested as he felt his cock sliding out Bryce’s passage, but he pressed back down again before Charlie had the chance to really miss him. The first handful of strokes continued like that, slow and then fast, until Charlie was tempted to grab Bryce’s hips and take control of the tempo himself. Shivers ran through him, hot and then cold, on each intoxicating glide. Charlie kept hold of Bryce’s cock the entire time. He loved the way it twitched every time he bottomed out inside Bryce’s ass, and the way the vein throbbed against his fingertips when Bryce would gasp for breath, and how it never stopped dripping mouth-watering, clear fluid, no matter how many times Charlie used the palm of his other hand to wipe it away. He made sure Bryce watched him lick it off his skin when he did that. He wanted Bryce to know just what the taste did to him. 108

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The third, or maybe the fourth, time Charlie licked the precome from his palm, Bryce groaned and fell forward, their chests connecting. The new position meant Charlie had to bend his knees and lift off the bed to drive into Bryce’s ass, and that prompted a new array of moans and grunts from Bryce’s chest. Bryce’s mouth had a hungry, raw edge that sent fresh shivers down his spine. Charlie had to hold onto Bryce’s hip now, use just a little bit of force in order to keep their rhythm smooth. Bryce didn’t seem to mind. In fact, Bryce seemed to thrive on it, pushing back and pushing forward as if to urge Charlie to do it more. He bit at Charlie’s lower lip, and scraped his stubble across Charlie’s jaw when he began devouring his neck. Charlie cried out when he felt the teeth, and his hand jerked along Bryce’s cock, pumping him in almost frantic need. “Charlie…you’re gonna make me…God like that…” Words and lips and teeth warmed Charlie’s neck, and he stripped Bryce’s cock faster. “Oh…God…” That was Charlie’s warning, but it was all he needed. Bryce clamped down on Charlie’s cock, and he shouted against Charlie’s neck, a sound that was only muffled by skin and flesh. Bryce’s cock jerked and come shot on Charlie’s hand and his stomach, stream after stream splashing on his skin, revealing how much Bryce needed this. Fresh scents hit his nose, and though he was loathe to let go, Charlie slid his sticky hand away from Bryce’s cock in order to grab his other hip. “Harder,” he panted. He shoved at Bryce’s body while he thrust upward even more desperately, 109

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slamming in and out of his ass with ever-growing ferocity. So close. He was so close. He could hear it, inhale it, feel it coming. Not even getting fucked the previous weekend had driven him this far with hot, heady desire. Nothing had ever come close. The flick of a tongue over his earlobe. Scorching breaths flowing down his neck. Bryce’s voice coaxing him into coming, telling him over and over again just how good it was, how great they were together. Charlie didn’t need the reminder, but he grabbed it anyway. He clutched it close, and Bryce closer, and drove up one final time into the man’s tight ass, erupting so fiercely the world went white. When he came back to himself, Bryce was kissing him again. Charlie sighed into the kiss and tightened his arms around Bryce’s ribs. They remained locked in the caress until Charlie’s breathing began to even and the tension eased out of Bryce’s muscles. “How was that?” Bryce’s lips moved against the corner of his mouth. “As good as the last time?” “There was a last time?” They both smiled at his small joke, though Charlie was the one to now seek out the kisses, soft and languorous to match his boneless body. “It’s crazy how good it is. How good we are.” Bryce buried his face in Charlie’s neck, his weight settling more firmly on Charlie’s chest. He didn’t mind. He liked the heat and the pressure. He needed it. “We’re as good as I had hoped we’d be.” 110

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“I should have trusted you.” Charlie kissed Bryce’s temple. “I’m sorry I didn’t.” “It’s okay. You’ve been through a lot. I’d rather you be sure…than just going with the easiest path.” “You’re not the easiest path. You’re the best one.” His arms tightened around his back, and he closed his eyes against the raw wave of emotion surging through him. “I can’t say what you want me to, but I can tell you…I think it’s going to be very easy to love you, Bryce.” “How do you know that isn’t exactly what I want to hear?” Charlie smiled. Rolling to his side, he winced slightly as he slipped out of Bryce’s ass, but he barely noticed the absence for the sight of his lover’s shining eyes. “You’re going to keep me on my toes, aren’t you?” “I’m going to try. You need somebody to keep you on your toes, to keep you from getting too comfortable.” “I like my comfort.” “Exactly my point. Don’t worry. I won’t shake up your world too much.” “No.” Skimming his thumb over Bryce’s swollen lip, Charlie mused on how impossible it should have been to feel this happy, this content, this satisfied from something as simple as a few words. But there was nothing simple about Bryce, or their path to get to this place. This was a man who had riveted him from the start, and it dawned on Charlie as he leaned in for another kiss that his earlier declaration about how easy it would be to love Bryce had been a vast understatement. “You’ve shaken it up just right.” 111

JAMIE CRAIG Jamie Craig is the collaborative efforts of Pepper Espinoza and Vivien Dean. Both successful authors on their own, they began working together in early 2006. Pepper lives with her husband and cats in Utah, where she attends graduate school, and Vivien resides in northern California with her husband and two children.

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Don’t miss the next Calendar Boys— October: Trick Of Silver Available at AmberAllure.com! Argenti agent Darren Sumner was born to hunt and terminate rogue werewolves and his assignment to target Aden Richter should have been like any other. Guilty of seven murders, the werewolf needed to be put down. Unfortunately, he’s assigned to infiltrate a Halloween party in a leather miniskirt, high heels, and a wig. To make things more difficult, once Darren comes in contact with Aden, the last thing he wants to do is kill the wolf. Distracted by lust neither can control, they stumble over a conspiracy that involves the darkest magic, betrayal, and murder. A conspiracy that binds the two of them inextricably tighter as the danger moves closer.

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