ESPRESSO A11D TREACLE
C H A P T E R I:
ARTEmIS
sat on an o x - b l o o d leather
armchair, facing B e c k e t t and M y l e s .
v
His
<00k4+\M\
m o t h e r was in b e d with a slight case of the
flu,
his father was with the d o c t o r in h e r r o o m ,
and so A r t e m i s was lending a hand in entertaining the toddlers. And what b e t t e r e n t e r t a i n m e n t for youngsters than s o m e lessons. He had decided to dress casually in a sky-blue silk shirt, light g r e y w o o l l e n t r o u s e r s and G u c c i loafers. His b l a c k hair was swept b a c k from his forehead, and he was putting on a j o l l y e x p r e s s i o n , w h i c h he had heard appealed to children. ' A r t e m i s n e e d t o i l e t ? ' w o n d e r e d B e c k e t t , w h o squatted on the Tunisian rug, wearing only a grass-stained vest, which he had pulled down over his knees. ' N o , B e c k e t t , ' said A r t e m i s brightly. 'I am trying to l o o k jolly. And shouldn't you be wearing a nappy?' 'Nappy,' s n o r t e d M y l e s , w h o had potty-trained h i m s e l f
5
4
at the age of fourteen m o n t h s , building a stepladder of
approvingly. Myles was cut from the same cloth as himself,
encyclopedias to reach the toilet seat.
a natural-born scientist. 'Now, boys. I thought today we
' N o nappy/ pouted B e c k e t t , slapping at a still-buzzing fly trapped in his sticky blond curls. ' B e c k e t t hates nappy.' A r t e m i s doubted if the nanny had n e g l e c t e d to put a nappy on B e c k e t t , and he w o n d e r e d briefly w h e r e that nappy was now. 'Very well, B e c k e t t , ' continued A r t e m i s . ' L e t ' s shelve the nappy issue for now, and m o v e on to today's lesson.' ' C h o c o l a t e on shelves,' said B e c k e t t , stretching his fingers high to reach imaginary c h o c o l a t e .
might tackle s o m e restaurant t e r m s . ' 'Sneezes l o o k like w o r m s , ' said B e c k e t t , w h o wasn't one for staying on t o p i c . A r t e m i s was nearly thrown by this r e m a r k . Worms w e r e m o s t definitely n o t on the m e n u , though snails might well b e . ' F o r g e t about w o r m s . ' ' F o r g e t w o r m s ! ' said B e c k e t t , horrified. 'Just for the m o m e n t , ' said A r t e m i s reassuringly. 'As soon as we have finished our w o r d g a m e , you may think
'Yes, g o o d . T h e r e is s o m e t i m e s c h o c o l a t e on the shelves.'
on whatever pleases you. And, if you are really g o o d , then
'And espresso,' added B e c k e t t , w h o had a strange set of
I may take you to see the horses.'
favourite tastes, which included espresso sachets and treacle.
Riding was the only f o r m of e x e r c i s e that A r t e m i s had
In the same cup, if he could manage it. O n c e B e c k e t t had
taken to. This was mainly because the h o r s e did m o s t of
managed to down several spoons of this c o n c o c t i o n before
the w o r k .
it was wrestled away from h i m . T h e toddler hadn't slept for twenty-eight hours. ' C a n we learn the n e w words, A r t e m i s ? ' asked M y l e s , w h o wanted to get b a c k to a m o u l d j a r in his b e d r o o m . 'I am doing speriments with Professor Primate.' Professor Primate was a stuffed monkey, and Myles's occasional lab partner. T h e cuddly toy spent m o s t of his t i m e stuffed into a borosilicate glass beaker on the speriment table.
B e c k e t t pointed to himself. ' B e c k e t t , ' he said proudly, w o r m s already a distant m e m o r y . Myles sighed. ' S i m p l e - t o o n . ' A r t e m i s was beginning to r e g r e t scheduling this lesson, but having begun he was d e t e r m i n e d to forge ahead. ' M y l e s , d o n ' t call your b r o t h e r a simpleton.' " S O K , A r t e m i s . H e likes it.You're a simple-toon, aren't you, B e c k e t t ? '
A r t e m i s had r e p r o g r a m m e d the monkey's voice b o x to
' B e c k e t t simple-toon,' agreed the small boy happily.
respond to Myles's voice with twelve phrases, including It's
A r t e m i s rubbed his hands together. ' R i g h t , b r o t h e r s .
alive! It's alive! and History will remember this day, Professor Myles. 'You can go b a c k to your laboratory soon,' said A r t e m i s
Onwards.
Imagine y o u r s e l f seated at a cafe table in
Montmartre.'
6
Tn P a r i s / said M y l e s , smugly straightening the cravat he
B e c k e t t was suspicious. 'I w o n ' t learn?' ' N o , ' said A r t e m i s , fondly ruffling his brother's hair and
had b o r r o w e d from his father. ' Y e s , Paris. And, try as you will, you cannot attract the
immediately regretting it. 'You w o n ' t learn a thing.' ' G o o d . B e c k e t t happy now. See.' T h e boy pointed to
waiter's attention. W h a t do you do?' T h e infants stared at him blankly, and A r t e m i s began to w o n d e r if he wasn't pitching his lesson a little high. He
himself once m o r e , specifically to the broad smile on his face.
was relieved, if a little surprised, to see a spark of c o m p r e T h e three brothers w e r e stretched on the floor, up to their
hension in B e c k e t t ' s eyes. 'Urn . . . tell B u t l e r to j u m p - j u m p - j u m p on his head?'
elbows in poster paint, when their father entered the r o o m .
Myles was impressed. T agree with simple-toon.'
He looked tired from his nursing duties, but otherwise fit
' N o ! ' said A r t e m i s . 'You simply raise one finger and say
and strong, moving like a lifelong athlete in spite of his b i o -
clearly, "hi, garcon!"
hybrid artificial leg. T h e leg used lengthened b o n e , titanium
'Itchy what?'
prosthetics and implantable sensors to allow Artemis Senior's
' W h a t ? N o , B e c k e t t , n o t itchy! A r t e m i s sighed. This was
brain signals to move it. Occasionally, at the end of the day,
impossible. Impossible. And he hadn't even introduced the
he would use a microwaveable gel pouch to ease his stiffness,
flashcards yet or his n e w modified laser pointer, which could
but otherwise he behaved as if the n e w leg w e r e his own.
either highlight a w o r d or b u r n through several steel plates,
A r t e m i s c l i m b e d to his k n e e s , smudged and dripping.
depending on the setting.
T abandoned F r e n c h vocabulary and have j o i n e d the twins
' L e t ' s try it together. Raise one finger and say, "Ici,garcon"
actually. We are finger-painting instead. I did try to sneak
All t o g e t h e r n o w . . .' T h e little boys did as they w e r e told, eager to please
in a little lecture on Cubism, but received a splattering for my troubles.'
their deranged brother. l
Ici, garcon,' they chorused, pudgy fingers raised. And
then from the c o r n e r of his m o u t h Myles whispered to his
A r t e m i s n o t i c e d then that his father was m o r e than simply tired. He was anxious. He stepped away from the twins, walking with A r t e m i s
twin, ' A r t e m i s simple-toon.' A r t e m i s raised his hands. 'I surrender. You win — no
Senior to the floor-to-ceiling b o o k c a s e . ' W h a t is the matter? Is M o t h e r ' s influenza worsening?'
m o r e lessons. W h y d o n ' t w e paint s o m e pictures?' ' E x c e l l e n t , ' said Myles. 'I shall paint my j a r of mould.'
/WVA
in play.' He grinned, wiping his hands. 'It's quite liberating,
-W\A
Artemis's father rested one hand on the rolling ladder,
9
8
lifting his weight from the artificial limb. His expression
Senior's eyes were bright with desperation. ' W h a t e v e r we
was strange, and one that A r t e m i s could n o t recall ever
have to do, son. W h a t e v e r it takes.' A r t e m i s felt panic welling up inside h i m .
seeing. He realized his father was m o r e than anxious. A r t e m i s
Whatever we have to do? Be calm, he told himself. You have the power to fix this.
Fowl Senior was afraid.
A r t e m i s did n o t yet have all the facts, but nonetheless
'Father?' A r t e m i s Senior gripped the ladder's rung with such force
he was reasonably confident that whatever was w r o n g with
that the w o o d creaked. He o p e n e d his m o u t h to speak but
his m o t h e r could be healed with a burst of fairy m a g i c .
then s e e m e d to change his m i n d .
And he was the only human on Earth with that m a g i c
N o w A r t e m i s h i m s e l f g r e w w o r r i e d . 'Father, you must
running through his system. 'Father,' he said gently, 'has the d o c t o r left?'
tell m e . ' ' O f course,' said his father with a start, as if j u s t r e m e m -
For a m o m e n t the question s e e m e d to puzzle A r t e m i s Senior, then he r e m e m b e r e d .
bering w h e r e he was. 'I must tell you . . .' T h e n a tear fell from his eye, dripping on to his shirt, deepening the blue.
'Left? N o . He is in the lobby. I thought you might talk to him. Just in case there's a question I have missed . . .'
'I r e m e m b e r when I first saw your mother,' he said. 'I was in L o n d o n , at a private party in the Ivy. A r o o m full
Artemis was only mildly surprised to find D o c t o r Hans
of scoundrels and I was the biggest one in the bunch. She
Schalke, Europe's leading e x p e r t on rare diseases, in the
changed m e , Arty. B r o k e my heart, then put it t o g e t h e r
lobby and n o t the usual family practitioner. Naturally, his
again. Angeline saved my life. N o w . . .'
father would have sent for Schalke when Angeline Fowl's
A r t e m i s felt weak with nerves. His b l o o d pounded in
condition began to deteriorate. Schalke waited b e l o w the filigreed Fowl crest, a hard-skinned Gladstone bag standing
his ears like the Atlantic surf. 'Is M o t h e r dying, Father? Is this what you are trying to
sentry by his ankles like a giant b e e t l e . He was belting a grey raincoat across his waist and speaking to his assistant in sharp
tell m e ? '
tones.
T h e idea s e e m e d ludicrous. Impossible.
Everything about the d o c t o r was sharp, from the arrow-
His father blinked, as if waking from a dream. ' N o t if the Fowl m e n have something to say about it, eh,
head of his widow's peak, to the razor edges of his cheek-
son? It's time for you to earn that reputation of yours.' Artemis
bones and nose. Twin ovals of cut glass magnified Schalke's
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10
II
blue eyes and his m o u t h slashed downwards from left to
of his fingers. ' F r o m what I can t e l l , h e r organs s e e m to
right, barely moving as he talked.
be failing.'
'All of the symptoms / he said, his a c c e n t m u t e d G e r m a n .
' W h i c h organs?' 'All of t h e m / said Schalke. 'I n e e d to bring e q u i p m e n t
' O n all of the databases, you understand?' His assistant, a petite young lady in an expensively cut
here from my laboratory at Trinity C o l l e g e . Obviously your
grey suit, nodded several t i m e s , tapping the instructions
m o t h e r cannot b e m o v e d . M y assistant, I m o g e n , Miss B o o k ,
o n t o the screen o f h e r smartphone.
will m o n i t o r h e r until my r e t u r n . Miss B o o k is n o t only
'Universities t o o ? ' she asked.
my publicist, but an e x c e l l e n t nurse t o o . A useful c o m -
'AH I said Schalke, accompanying the w o r d with an im-
bination, wouldn't you say?'
patient n o d . ' D i d I n o t say all? Do you n o t understand my accent? Is it because I am from G e r m a n y c o m i n g ? '
In his peripheral vision, A r t e m i s saw Miss B o o k scurry round a corner, stammering into h e r smartphone. He h o p e d
'Sorry, D o c t o r / said the assistant contritely. 'All, of course.'
the p u b l i c i s t / n u r s e would display m o r e confidence w h e n
A r t e m i s approached D o c t o r Schalke, hand outstretched.
caring for his m o t h e r .
T h e d o c t o r did n o t r e t u r n the gesture.
T suppose. All my m o t h e r ' s organs? All of t h e m ? '
' C o n t a m i n a t i o n , M a s t e r F o w l / he said, without a trace
Schalke was n o t inclined to repeat himself. 'I am reminded
o f apology o r sympathy. ' W e have n o t d e t e r m i n e d w h e t h e r
of lupus, but m o r e aggressive, c o m b i n e d with all three stages
your m o t h e r ' s condition is contagious.'
of Lyme disease. I did observe an Amazonian tribe once with
A r t e m i s curled his fingers into his palm, sliding the hand
your m o t h e r has days left to her. Frankly, I doubt we will
behind his b a c k . T h e d o c t o r was right, of c o u r s e . ' W e have never m e t , D o c t o r . W o u l d you be so good as
have t i m e to c o m p l e t e tests. We need a miracle cure, and in my considerable e x p e r i e n c e miracle cures do not exist.'
to describe my m o t h e r ' s s y m p t o m s ? ' T h e d o c t o r huffed, irritated. 'Very well, young man, but I am n o t a c c u s t o m e d to dealing with children, so there will be no sugar coating.'
'Perhaps they d o / said A r t e m i s absently. Schalke picked up his bag. ' P u t your faith in science, young m a n / advised the doctor. ' S c i e n c e will serve your m o t h e r b e t t e r than s o m e mysterious force.'
A r t e m i s swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. Sugar coating. ' Y o u r m o t h e r ' s c o n d i t i o n is possibly u n i q u e /
similar symptoms, but n o t so severe. At this rate of decline,
A r t e m i s held the d o o r for Schalke, watching him walk said
Schalke, banishing his assistant to h e r w o r k with a shake
the dozen steps to his vintage M e r c e d e s - B e n z . T h e car was grey, like the bruised clouds overhead.
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There is no time for science, thought the Irish teenager.
Artemis went inside alone, leaving the bodyguard to strip off the Kendo headgear and Hon-nuri breastplate. Underneath
Magic is my only option.
lie wore a tracksuit instead of the traditional wide-legged W h e n A r t e m i s r e t u r n e d to his study, his father was sitting
trousers. Sweat blossomed across his chest and back, but Butler
on the rug with B e c k e t t crawling along his t o r s o like a
ignored his desire to go and shower, standing sentry outside
monkey.
the door, knowing that he shouldn't strain too hard to listen, but wishing that he could.
'May I see M o t h e r n o w ? ' A r t e m i s asked him. 'Yes,' said A r t e m i s Senior. ' G o n o w ; see what you can
B u t l e r was the only o t h e r human w h o k n e w the full truth of Artemis's magical escapades. He had b e e n at his
find out. Study h e r symptoms for your search.' Mj search? thought A r t e m i s . There are difficult times ahead.
young charge's shoulder throughout their various adventures, battling fairies and humans across the continents. B u t
Artemis's hulking bodyguard, Butler, waited for him at the
Artemis had made the j o u r n e y through t i m e to L i m b o
foot of the stairs wearing full K e n d o armour, the h e l m e t ' s
without him, and he had c o m e b a c k changed. A part of his
faceguard folded away from his weathered features.
young charge was magical now, and n o t just Captain Holly
'I was in the dojo, sparring with the holograph,' he
Short's hazel left eye the t i m e stream had given him in
explained. 'Your father called and told me I was n e e d e d
place of his own. On the j o u r n e y from E a r t h to L i m b o and
immediately. W h a t ' s going o n ? '
back, A r t e m i s had s o m e h o w managed to steal a few strands
'It's Mother,' said A r t e m i s , passing him. 'She's very ill.
of magic from the fairies whose atoms w e r e m i x e d with his in the t i m e stream. W h e n he had r e t u r n e d h o m e from
I ' m going to see what I can do.' B u t l e r hurried to keep pace, his chest plate clanking. ' B e
L i m b o , A r t e m i s had suggested to his parents,
in the
careful, A r t e m i s . M a g i c is n o t science. You c a n ' t c o n t r o l it.
compelling magical mesmer, that they simply n o t think about
You wouldn't want to accidentally m a k e M r s Fowl's condi-
where he had b e e n for the past few years. It wasn't a very
tion worse.'
sophisticated plan, as his disappearance had made the news
A r t e m i s arrived at the top of the grand stairway, tenta-
worldwide, and the subject was raised at every function
tively reaching his hand towards the b e d r o o m door's brass
the Fowls attended. B u t until A r t e m i s could get hold of
knob, as though it w e r e electrified.
s o m e L E P mind-wiping equipment, or indeed develop his
'I fear that h e r condition couldn't be w o r s e . . .'
own, it would have to suffice. He suggested to his parents that if anyone w e r e to ask about him they should simply
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state it was a family m a t t e r and ask that their privacy be
A r t e m i s crossed the r o o m slowly, afraid of what lay before him. He walked cautiously across the carpet, careful
respected. Artemis is a magical human, thought Butler. The only one. And n o w B u t l e r j u s t k n e w A r t e m i s was going to use his
to tread b e t w e e n the vine patterns in the weave. Step on a vine, count to nine.
m a g i c to attempt a healing on his m o t h e r . It was a dangerous
This was a habit from w h e n he was little, an old super-
g a m e ; m a g i c was n o t a natural part of his make-up. T h e
stition whispered lightly by his father. A r t e m i s had never
boy could well r e m o v e one set of symptoms and replace
forgotten and always counted to nine to ward off the bad
t h e m with another.
luck should so m u c h as a t o e t o u c h the carpet vines. T h e four-poster b e d stood a t the rear o f the r o o m ,
A r t e m i s entered his parents' b e d r o o m slowly. T h e twins
swathed in hanging drapes and sunlight. A b r e e z e slipped
charged in here at all hours of the day and night, flinging
into the r o o m , rippling the silks like the sails of a pirate
themselves on the four-poster b e d to w r e s t l e with his
ship.
protesting m o t h e r and father, but A r t e m i s had never e x p e r i e n c e d that. His childhood had b e e n a t i m e of order and discipline.
O n e of his m o t h e r ' s hands dangled over the side. Pale and thin. A r t e m i s was horrified. Just yesterday his m o t h e r had
Always knock before entering, Artemis,
his
father had
instructed him. It shows respect.
b e e n fine. A slight sniffle, but still h e r w a r m , laughing self. 'Mother,' he b l u r t e d on seeing h e r face, feeling as though
B u t his father had changed. A brush with death seven
the w o r d had b e e n punched out of him.
years earlier had shown him what was really i m p o r t a n t .
This was n o t possible. In twenty-four hours, his m o t h e r
N o w he was always ready to hug and roll in the covers with
had deteriorated to little m o r e than a skeleton. H e r c h e e k -
his beloved sons.
b o n e s w e r e sharp as flint, h e r eyes lost in dark sockets.
It's too late for me, thought A r t e m i s . I am too old for tussles with Father.
Don't worry, A r t e m i s told himself. In a few short seconds Mother will be well, then I can investigate what happened here.
M o t h e r was different. She was never c o l d , apart from
Angeline Fowl's beautiful hair was frizzed and b r i t t l e ,
during h e r bouts of depression w h e n his father was missing.
b r o k e n strands criss-crossing h e r pillow like a spider's web.
But fairy m a g i c and the r e t u r n of h e r beloved husband had
And there was an odd smell emanating from h e r pores.
saved h e r from that and n o w she was h e r s e l f again. Or she
Lilies, thought A r t e m i s . Sweet yet tinged with sickness.
had b e e n until now.
Angeline's eyes opened abruptly, round with panic. H e r
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AMA
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AAAA
16
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b a c k arched as she sucked breath through a constricted
l o r three years and had c o m e h o m e the same age as w h e n
windpipe, clutching at the air with clawed hands. J u s t as
he went away.
suddenly she collapsed, and A r t e m i s thought for a terrible m o m e n t that she was g o n e . B u t then h e r eyelids fluttered and she reached out a hand for him. 'Arty/ she said, her> voice no m o r e than a whisper. 'I am having the strangest d r e a m / A short sentence, but it t o o k an age to c o m p l e t e , with a rasped breath b e t w e e n each word. A r t e m i s t o o k his m o t h e r ' s hand. H o w slender it was. A parcel o f b o n e s . ' O r perhaps I am awake and my o t h e r life is a dream.' A r t e m i s was pained to hear his m o t h e r speak like this; it r e m i n d e d him of the turns she used to suffer from. ' Y o u ' r e awake, M o t h e r , and I am h e r e . You have a light fever and are a little dehydrated, that's all. Nothing to be c o n c e r n e d about.'
'I am fourteen, Mother. A l m o s t fifteen now, still a boy for another while. N o w close your eyes and when you open them again all will be well.' ' W h a t have you done to my thoughts, Artemis? W h e r e has your power c o m e from?' Artemis was sweating now. T h e heat of the r o o m , the sickly
smell, his own anxiety.
She knows. Mother knows. Ifyou heal her, will she remember everything? It didn't matter. T h a t could be dealt with in due c o u r s e . I lis priority was to m e n d his parent. Artemis squeezed the frail hand in his grip, feeling the h o n e s grind against each other. He was about to use m a g i c on his m o t h e r for the second t i m e . Magic did n o t belong in Artemis's soul, and gave him
' H o w can I be awake, Arty,' said Angeline, h e r eyes calm
lightning-bolt headaches whenever he used it. T h o u g h he
in black circles, ' w h e n I feel myself dying? H o w can I be
was human, the fairy rules of m a g i c held a certain sway
awake when I feel that?'
o v e r him. H e was forced t o c h e w motion-sickness tablets
Artemis's feigned calm was k n o c k e d by this.
before entering a dwelling uninvited, and when the m o o n
'I-it's the . . . fever,' he s t a m m e r e d . 'You're seeing things
was full A r t e m i s could often be found in the library, listening
a little strangely. Everything will be fine soon. I promise.'
to music at m a x i m u m volume to drown out the voices in
Angeline closed h e r eyes. 'And my son keeps his p r o m -
his head. T h e great c o m m u n e of magical creatures. T h e
ises, I know. W h e r e have you been these past years, Arty?
fairies had powerful race m e m o r i e s and they surfaced like
W e w e r e s o w o r r i e d . W h y are you n o t seventeen?'
,1 lidal wave of raw e m o t i o n , bringing migraines with t h e m .
In h e r delirium, Angeline Fowl saw through a haze of
S o m e t i m e s A r t e m i s wondered if stealing the m a g i c had
m a g i c to the truth. She realized that he had b e e n missing
been a mistake, but recently the symptoms had stopped.
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No m o r e migraines or sickness. Perhaps his brain was
More, thought A r t e m i s . More.
adapting to the strain of being a magical creature.
He pushed harder, ignoring the sudden blinding headache
A r t e m i s held his m o t h e r ' s fingers gently, closed his eyes and cleared his m i n d .
and rumbling nausea. Heal, Mother.
Magic. Only magic.
T h e m a g i c w r a p p e d his
m o t h e r like
an
Egyptian
T h e m a g i c was a wild force and n e e d e d to be c o n t r o l l e d .
mummy, snaking underneath h e r body, raising h e r fifteen
If A r t e m i s let his thoughts r a m b l e , the m a g i c would r a m b l e
c e n t i m e t r e s from the mattress. She shuddered and m o a n e d ,
t o o and he could open his eyes to find his m o t h e r still sick
steam venting from h e r p o r e s , sizzling as it t o u c h e d the
but with different-coloured hair.
blue sparks.
Heal, he thought. Be well, Mother.
She is in pain, thought A r t e m i s , opening o n e eye a slit.
T h e magic responded to his wish, spreading along his limbs, buzzing, tingling. Blue sparks circled his wrists, twitching like shoals of tiny minnows. Almost as if they were alive. A r t e m i s thought of his m o t h e r in b e t t e r times. He saw
In agony. But I cannot stop now. A r t e m i s dug down deep, searching his e x t r e m i t i e s for the last scraps of m a g i c inside h i m .
r
Everything. Give her every last spark.
h e r skin radiant, h e r eyes shining with happiness. Heard
M a g i c was n o t an intrinsic part of A r t e m i s ; he had stolen
her laugh, felt h e r t o u c h on his n e c k . R e m e m b e r e d the
it and n o w he t h r e w it off again, stuffing all he had into
strength of Angeline Fowl's love for h e r family.
the attempted healing. And yet it wasn't working. N o , m o r e
That is what I want.
than that. H e r sickness g r e w stronger. Repelling each blue
T h e sparks sensed his wishes and flowed into Angeline
wave, robbing the sparks of their c o l o u r and power, sending
Fowl, sinking into the skin of h e r hand and wrist, twisting in ropes round h e r gaunt arms. A r t e m i s pushed harder and a river of magical flickers flowed from his fingers into his mother.
t h e m skittering to the ceiling. Something is wrong, thought A r t e m i s , bile in his throat, a dagger of pain over his left eye. It shouldn't be like this. T h e final drop of magic left his body with a j o l t and
Heal, he thought. Drive out the sickness.
Artemis was thrown from his m o t h e r ' s bedside and sent
A r t e m i s had used his m a g i c b e f o r e , b u t this t i m e was
skidding across the floor, then tumbling head over heels until
different. T h e r e was resistance, as though his m o t h e r ' s body
he c a m e to rest sprawled against a chaise longue. Angeline
did n o t wish to be healed and was rejecting the power.
Fowl spasmed a final t i m e , then collapsed b a c k on to h e r
Sparks fizzled on h e r skin, spasmed and winked out.
mattress. H e r body was soaked with a strange thick, clear
/WW
/WW
/WW
20
21
gel. Magical sparks flickered and died in the coating, which
prefer n o t to associate with otherwise. We find t h e m , and
steamed off almost as quickly as it had appeared.
bring t h e m b a c k here as fast as we can. We ignore nuisances
A r t e m i s lay with his head in his hands, waiting for the
like passports or visas and get it done.'
chaos in his brain to stop, unable to m o v e or think. His own breathing s e e m e d to rasp against his skull. Eventually,
A r t e m i s Senior nodded, slowly at first, then with m o r e vigour.
the pain faded to e c h o e s , and j u m b l e d words f o r m e d t h e m selves into sentences.
'Yes. Yes, dammit. She is n o t finished yet. My Angeline is a fighter — are you n o t , darling?'
The magic is gone. Spent. I am entirely human. A r t e m i s r e g i s t e r e d the sound o f the b e d r o o m d o o r
He t o o k h e r hand gently, as though it w e r e made of Knest crystal. She did n o t respond to his t o u c h or voice.
creaking and he o p e n e d his eyes to find B u t l e r and his father
1
staring down at him, c o n c e r n large on their faces.
my phantom-limb pains. Perhaps one of t h e m can help us
' W e h e a r d a crash. You m u s t have f a l l e n / said A r t e m i s
We talked to every alternative practitioner in Europe about
with this.'
Senior, lifting his son by the elbow. 'I should n e v e r have
'I k n o w a man in China,' said Butler. ' H e w o r k e d with
l e t you in h e r e a l o n e , b u t I t h o u g h t that perhaps you
Madame Ko at the bodyguard academy. He was a miracle
c o u l d do something. You have c e r t a i n t a l e n t s , I know. I
worker with herbs. Lived up the mountains. He has never
was hoping . . .' He straightened his son's shirt, p a t t e d
been outside the province, but he would c o m e for m e . '
his shoulders. ' I t was stupid o f m e . '
' G o o d , ' said A r t e m i s Senior. ' T h e m o r e opinions we can
A r t e m i s shrugged his father's hands away, stumbling to
call on the better.' He turned to his son. 'Listen, Arty, if
his m o t h e r ' s sickbed. It t o o k a m e r e glance to confirm what
you k n o w s o m e o n e w h o might be able to help. Anyone.
he already knew. He had n o t cured his mother. T h e r e was
Perhaps you have s o m e underworld contacts?'
no b l o o m on h e r cheeks or ease in h e r breathing.
A r t e m i s twisted a rather ostentatious ring on his middle
She is worse. What have I done?
linger so that the front rested against his palm. This ring
' W h a t is it?' asked his father. ' W h a t the devil is w r o n g
was actually a camouflaged fairy communicator.
with her? At this rate of decline, in less than a w e e k my Angeline will be —' B u t l e r interrupted brusquely. ' N o giving up now, gents. We all have contacts from our past that might be able to shed s o m e light on M r s Fowl's condition. People we might
'Yes,' he said. 'I have a few underworld contacts.'
23
communicator. T thought you might enjoy that passage. You know, have a laugh. R e m e m b e r laughing?' Holly was n o t amused. 'It's so typical of humans, Foaly, to take s o m e t h i n g perfectly natural and d e m o n i z e it. Krakens are gentle creatures, and the humans turn t h e m
THE WORLD'S BIGGEST
C H A P T E R 2:
into s o m e kind of murderous giant squid. Kill . . . kill . . . kill. Give me a break.' ' C o m e on, Holly, it's just sensational fiction. You know those humans and their imaginations. R e l a x . ' Foaly was right. If she got w o r k e d up every t i m e the
H E L S i l l K i HARBOUR, THE BALTIC SEA
human media misrepresented a mythical creature, she would spend half h e r life in a rage. O v e r the centuries Mud M e n
T H E giant sea monster that is the kraken sent I 1
'» ' r/jl
/f ]
its finned tentacles spiralling towards the ocean's ^
surface, pulling its bloated body behind. Its single eye rolled manically in its socket and its curved
beak, the size of a schooner's prow, was open wide, filtering the
had caught glimpses of the fairy folk, and had twisted the truth of these glimpses almost beyond recognition. Let it go. There are decent humans. Remember Artemis and Butler. ' D i d you see that human movie with the centaurs?' she asked the centaur on the other end of h e r h e l m e t c o m m u -
rushing water through to its rippling gills. The kraken was hungry and there was room for only one
nicator. ' T h e y w e r e noble and sporty. My sword for thee,
thought in its tiny brain as it sped towards the holiday ferry
Majesty, then off for a spot of hunting. Fit centaurs, n o w that
above.
did make me laugh.' Thousands of miles away, s o m e w h e r e in the Earth's
Kill . . .Kill . . . KILL . . .
mantle b e l o w Ireland, Foaly, the L o w e r E l e m e n t s Police ' T h a t is such dwarf m a n u r e / said L o w e r E l e m e n t s Police
technical adviser, r u b b e d his paunch.
Captain Holly S h o r t , muting the sound file in h e r h e l m e t .
'Holly, that hurts. Caballine likes my belly.'
' F o r one thing, the kraken doesn't have tentacles, and as
Foaly had got m a r r i e d , or hitched as centaurs called the ceremony, while Holly had b e e n away with A r t e m i s Fowl
for kill . . . kill . . . kill . . .' T know,' said Foaly, the voice of mission c o n t r o l in h e r
/VV\A
/WSA
rescuing demons in L i m b o . A lot had changed in the three
25
24
years she had b e e n away, and s o m e t i m e s Holly found it
was strobed with headlights as vendors arrived to open up
difficult to keep up. Foaly had a n e w bride to occupy his
for the m o r n i n g trade, or eager politicians' aides made their
t i m e . H e r old friend Trouble Kelp had b e e n p r o m o t e d to
way towards the blue-grey facade of City Hall.
L E P C o m m a n d e r , and she was b a c k working at R e c o n with the Kraken W a t c h task f o r c e .
Holly's target lay away from what would shortly be a bustling c e n t r e of c o m m e r c e . She adjusted h e r fingers, and
'Apologies, friend. T h a t was mean,' said Holly. 'I like
the sensors in h e r a r m o u r e d gloves translated the m o v e -
your belly t o o . I ' m sorry that I wasn't there to see a hitching
ments to c o m m a n d s for the mechanical wings on h e r b a c k ,
sash round it.'
sending h e r spiralling down towards the small island of
' M e t o o . N e x t time.'
Uunisaari, half a m i l e from the p o r t .
Holly smiled. ' S u r e . That's going to happen.'
' T h e body sensors are nice,' she said. 'Very intuitive.'
Traditionally, male centaurs were e x p e c t e d to take m o r e
'It's as close as it gets to being a bird,' said Foaly. ' U n l e s s
than one bride, but Caballine was a m o d e r n fairy and Holly doubted if she would stand for a n e w filly in the household.
you want to integrate?' ' N o thank you,' said Holly vehemently. She loved flying,
' D o n ' t worry, I ' m joking.'
but n o t enough to have an L E P surgeon sew a few implants
'You'd b e t t e r b e , because I ' m m e e t i n g Caballine at the
into h e r c e r e b e l l u m .
spa this weekend.' ' H o w ' s the n e w gear?' said Foaly, hurriedly changing the subject. Holly spread h e r arms wide, feeling the wind ripple h e r fingers, seeing the Baltic Sea flash past b e l o w in shards of blue and white. 'It's wonderful,' she said. 'Absolutely wonderful.'
'Very well, Captain Short,' said Foaly, switching to business m o d e . ' P r e - o p c h e c k . T h r e e W s please.' T h e t h r e e W s w e r e every Reconnaissance officer's c h e c k list before approaching an operation's zone. W i n g s , weapon and a way h o m e . Holly c h e c k e d the transparent readouts on h e r h e l m e t visor. ' P o w e r cell charged. W e a p o n on g r e e n . W i n g s and suit
Captain Holly S h o r t of L E P r e c o n flew in wide, lazy circles above Helsinki, enjoying the brisk Scandinavian air filtering through h e r h e l m e t . It was j u s t after 5 a.m. local t i m e and
fully functional. No r e d lights.' ' E x c e l l e n t , ' said Foaly. ' C h e c k , c h e c k and c h e c k . O u r screens agree.'
the rising sun had set the Uspenski Cathedral's golden onion
Holly heard keys clicking as Foaly r e c o r d e d this infor-
d o m e shimmering. Already the city's famed marketplace
mation in the mission log. T h e centaur was k n o w n for his
26
27
fondness for old-school keyboards, even though he himself
she had n o t aged, Holly felt cheated of those years. T h e
had patented an e x t r e m e l y efficient virtual keyboard — the
I ,EP psychiatrist would have told h e r she was suffering from
v-board.
Post-time-travel-displacement Depression, and offered to
' R e m e m b e r , Holly, this is just reconnaissance. Go down and c h e c k the sensor. T h o s e things are t w o hundred years
prescribe a nice shot to c h e e r h e r up. Holly trusted happyshots just about as m u c h as she trusted brain implants.
old, and the p r o b l e m is m o r e than likely a simple overheat.
' I ' m going in,' she said tersely. This was h e r first solo
All you n e e d to do is go w h e r e I tell you and fix what I
mission since debriefing and she did n o t want anything less
tell you. No indiscriminate blasting involved. Understand?'
than a perfect r e p o r t , even if it was only Kraken W a t c h .
Holly snorted. 'I can see why Caballine fell for you, Foaly. You're such a charmer.' Foaly snickered. T d o n ' t rise to j i b e s any m o r e , Holly. Marriage has m e l l o w e d m e . ' ' M e l l o w ? I'll believe that w h e n you last ten minutes in a r o o m with M u l c h without throwing a hoof.' T h e dwarf, M u l c h Diggums, had b e e n at various times enemy, p a r t n e r and friend to Holly and Foaly. His greatest pleasure in life was stuffing his face, and n o t far behind that was irritating his various e n e m i e s , partners and friends. 'Perhaps I n e e d a few m o r e years of marriage before I get that mellow. A few m o r e centuries, in fact.'
'Copy,' said Foaly. 'You see the sensor?' T h e r e w e r e four bio-sensors on the island relaying information b a c k to Police Plaza. T h r e e pulsed a gentle g r e e n in Holly's visor display unit. T h e fourth sensor was red. R e d could m e a n many things. In this case every reading had risen above n o r m a l levels. Temperature, heartbeat, brain activity. All on the danger line. 'It must be a malfunction,' Foaly had explained. ' I f n o t , the o t h e r sensors would show something.' T have it. Strong signal.' ' O K . Shield and approach.' Holly twisted her chin sharply left until her n e c k bone
T h e island was large in Holly's visor now, surrounded
clicked, which was her way of summoning the magic. It
by a m o n k ' s fringe of foam. T i m e to stop the chit-chat and
wasn't a necessary m o v e m e n t , since the magic was mostly
p r o c e e d with the mission, though Holly was t e m p t e d to
a brain function, but fairies developed their own tics. She
circle in a holding pattern so she could talk s o m e m o r e
let a dribble of power into her limbs and vibrated out of the
with h e r friend. It s e e m e d as though this was the first real
visible spectrum. H e r shimmer suit picked up her frequency
conversation they'd had since h e r r e t u r n from L i m b o . Foaly
and amplified it so that a tiny spark of magic went a long
had m o v e d on with life in the past three years, but for
way.
Holly h e r absence had only lasted a few hours and, though
' I ' m out of sight and going in,' she confirmed.
29
28
' U n d e r s t o o d / said the centaur. ' B e careful, Holly.
and the bulk of shell, gas and fat cells enclosing a m e l o n -
C o m m a n d e r Kelp will be reviewing this video, so stick to
sized brain which provides it with just enough intelligence
your orders.'
to feed itself and shed its shell. U n d e r n e a t h the crust of
' A r e you suggesting that I occasionally stray from the
r o c k , w e e d and coral, the kraken resembles nothing m o r e
rule b o o k ? ' said Holly, apparently horrified by the very
than the c o m m o n a c o r n barnacle, albeit a barnacle that
notion.
could easily house an O l y m p i c stadium or two.
Foaly sniggered. 'I am suggesting that you may n o t own
T h e kraken enjoy a lifespan of several thousand years,
a copy of the rule b o o k , and, if you do possess o n e , you
thanks to an incredibly slow metabolism and a huge n e t w o r k
certainly have never opened it.'
of support systems surrounding their soft centres. T h e y tend
Fair point, thought Holly, swooping down towards the surface of Uunisaari.
to settle in a food-rich or magical environment and remain there until the food or energy residue runs out. Nestling in the middle of an archipelago near a human p o r t provides
W h a l e s are thought to be the world's largest m a m m a l s .
Hot only camouflage but an abundant source of edible mat-
T h e y are n o t . T h e kraken can stretch to five kilometres in
erial. And so this is w h e r e the kraken are found, anchored
length and have b e e n a staple of Scandinavian legend since
to the seabed like gigantic limpets, vacuuming city waste
the thirteenth century, when they appeared in the O r v a r -
through their gills and fermenting it to methane in their
O d d saga as the fearsome lyngbakr. Early descriptions of
vast stomachs. But, if human garbage is their salvation, it is
the kraken are the m o s t accurate, describing the sea crea-
also their damnation, for increasingly high toxin levels have
ture as an animal the size of a floating island whose real
rendered the kraken sterile, and n o w there are only half a
danger to ships was n o t the creature itself, but the whirlpool
dozen or so of the ancient creatures left in the oceans.
it created when it sank into the ocean. But by the Middle
This particular kraken was the oldest of the bunch.
Ages the legend of the kraken had b e e n confused with that
According to shell scrapings, old Shelly, as the small, dedi-
of the giant squid, and each was credited with the m o s t
eated Kraken W a t c h referred to it, was over ten thousand
fearsome attributes of the other. T h e squid was pictured big
years old, and had b e e n masquerading as an island in Helsinki
as a mountain, while the peaceful kraken g r e w tentacles and
harbour since the sixteenth century, when the t o w n was
developed a bloodlust to rival that of the deadliest shark.
known as Helsingfors.
Nothing could be further from the truth. T h e kraken is
In all that t i m e , Shelly had done little but feed and sleep,
a docile creature whose main defences are its sheer size
feeling no urge to migrate. Any n e e d he may have felt to
/WW
/WSA
/WNA.
/VW
30
31
m o v e on was dulled by the seepings of a paint factory built
but the s h i m m e r suit insulated h e r from cold shock and
on his b a c k m o r e than a hundred years previously. To all
even flexed to c o m p e n s a t e for the slight pressure increase.
intents and purposes, Shelly was catatonic, having e m i t t e d
' U s e the C r i t t e r s , ' said Foaly, his voice crystal clear
no m o r e than a couple of m e t h a n e flashes in over fifty years,
through the vibration nodes over h e r ears.
so there was no reason to believe that this red light on his
' G e t out o f m y head, centaur.'
sensor was anything m o r e than a crossed w i r e , and it was
' G o on. U s e the Critters.'
Holly's j o b to uncross it. It was a standardJirst day back on
'I d o n ' t n e e d a tracer. It's right there.'
the job kind of mission. No danger, no deadline and little
Foaly sighed. ' T h e n they shall die unfulfilled.'
chance o f discovery.
T h e C o d e d Radiation T r a c e r s w e r e m i c r o - o r g a n i s m s
Holly t u r n e d h e r palms into the wind, descending till
bathed in radiation of the same frequency as the o b j e c t
h e r b o o t s scraped the r o o f of the island's small restaurant.
I >cing located. If you k n e w what you w e r e looking for before
Actually, there w e r e two islands, separated by a small bridge.
leaving Foaly's workshop, then the C r i t t e r s would bring
O n e was a genuine island, and the other, larger section was
you right to it. T h o u g h they w e r e a little redundant when
Shelly nestled into the r o c k . Holly ran a quick t h e r m a l
the sensor was a few m e t r e s away and beeping on your
sweep, finding nothing but a few rodents and a b l o t c h of
sereen.
heat from the sauna, which was probably on a timer. She consulted h e r visor for the sensor's e x a c t location. It was four m e t r e s underwater, t u c k e d b e l o w a r o c k y ledge.
' O K , ' m o a n e d Holly. T wish you would stop using me 18 a guinea pig.' She pulled b a c k a watertight flap on h e r glove, releasing
Underwater. Of course.
a cloud of glowing orange m i t e s into the water. T h e y
She stowed h e r wings mid-air, then plunged feet first
hunched for a m o m e n t , then sped off in a ragged arrow
into the Baltic Sea, corkscrewing to minimize the splash. N o t that there w e r e any humans close enough to hear. T h e sauna and restaurant did n o t open until eight, and the nearest fishermen w e r e on the mainland, their rods swaying gently like rows of bare flagpoles.
towards the sensor. ' T h e y swim, they fly, they burrow,' said Foaly, awed by his own achievement. ' G o d bless their tiny hearts.' T h e C r i t t e r s left a glowing orange wake for Holly to follow. She pulled h e r s e l f b e l o w a sharp ledge to find the
Holly vented the gas bags in h e r h e l m e t to reduce buoy-
( Yitters already excavating the growths covering the sensor.
ancy and sank b e l o w the waves. H e r visor i n f o r m e d h e r
'Now, c o m e on. T h a t is handy. Tell me that's n o t useful
that the w a t e r t e m p e r a t u r e was a little over ten degrees,
to a field officer.'
33
32
It was very useful, especially since Holly only had ten
' H m m , ' sighed Foaly, thirty seconds later.
minutes of air left, but Foaly 's head was big enough as it was. 'A gill h e l m e t would have b e e n m o r e useful, especially
' H m m ? ' repeated Holly nervously. ' D o n ' t h m m , Foaly. I tazzle me with science, but don't h m m . '
since you knew the sensor was underwater/ 4
You have m o r e than enough air,' argued Foaly. 'Especially
' T h e r e doesn't seem to be anything w r o n g with this lensor. It is remarkably functional. W h i c h means . . .'
since the C r i t t e r s are clearing the surrounding area.' T h e C r i t t e r s ate away the r o c k and moss covering the
' T h a t the
sensors
are malfunctioning,'
concluded Holly. ' S o m u c h for your genius.'
sensor until it g l e a m e d like the day it had c o m e off the assembly line. O n c e their mission was completed, the
other three
'I did n o t design these sensors,' said Foaly, wounded. 1
They're old K o b o i gear.'
Critters flickered and died, dissolving in the water with a
Holly shuddered, her body jerking in the water. H e r old
gentle fizz. Holly switched on h e r h e l m e t lights, focusing
enemy Opal Koboi had b e e n one of the People's leading
both beams on the alloy instrument. T h e sensor was the size
innovators, until she'd decided that she would prefer to
and shape of a banana and covered with an electrolytic gel.
pursue all criminal avenues to crown h e r s e l f queen of the
T h e w a t e r is pretty clean, thanks to Shelly. I ' m getting
w< >rld instead. N o w she was housed in a specially constructed
a decent picture/ Holly topped up her suit buoyancy a few notches until she was at neutral, and hung in the water as still as she could.
isolation prison cube suspended in Atlantis, and spent h e r time shooting off mails to politicians pleading for early i (lease.
' W e l l , what do you see?' ' T h e same as y o u / replied the centaur. 'A sensor with a flashing r e d light. I n e e d to take a few readings, if you
'Apologies, old friend, for doubting your wonderfulluss.
level, I do hope.'
wouldn't m i n d touching the screen.'
l
Holly laid h e r palm on the gel so that the omni-sensor on h e r glove could sync with the ancient instrument.
of satellites in nine and a half minutes.' It was probably t r u e , thought Holly as h e r h e l m e t ran a
I I m m , ' said Foaly again.
'Please stop that. Surely, n o w I am h e r e , I should c h e c k i he remaining sensors?'
'Nine and a half minutes, Foaly, d o n ' t f o r g e t / 'Please,' snickered the centaur. 'I could recalibrate a fleet
I suppose I should c h e c k the other sensors. Above sea
S i l e n c e for a m o m e n t w h i l e Foaly a c c e s s e d a few files, then he s p o k e in h i t c h e d phrases as t h e i n f o r m a t i o n o p e n e d b e f o r e h i m . ' T h e o t h e r sensors . . . are n o t the p r e s s i n g issue . . . right now. W h a t we really n e e d to k n o w
systems c h e c k on the sensor.
. is why would Shelly be red-lining on this sensor. L e t
(I
34
35
m e j u s t see . . . i f w e have ever had these kinds o f read-
Shelly dumped his three thousand years ago, so we presumed
ings b e f o r e . '
(hat was that.'
Holly had no c h o i c e but to maintain c o n t a c t with the sensor, legs swaying underneath her, watching the air c l o c k on h e r visor run down. ' O K , ' said Foaly finally. ' T w o reasons for a kraken's readings to red-line. O n e , Shelly is having a baby kraken, which is impossible since he's a sterile male.' ' T h a t leaves two,' said Holly, w h o was certain that she would n o t like the second reason. 'And t w o , he's shedding.' Holly rolled h e r eyes in relief. 'Shedding. T h a t doesn't sound so bad.'
'But now?' ' N o w it seems as though Shelly has lived long enough to do it again.' 'And why are we c o n c e r n e d about this?' ' W e are c o n c e r n e d about this because kraken shed very explosively. T h e n e w shell has already g r o w n and Shelly will get rid of the old one by igniting a layer of m e t h a n e cells and blasting it off.' Holly wanted to be sure she understood what was being laid. ' S o you're saying that Shelly is going to light a fart?' ' N o , Shelly is going to light the fart. He has stored enough
' W e e e e l l l l , it's a little w o r s e than it sounds.'
methane to p o w e r Haven for a year. T h e r e hasn't b e e n a
' W h a t do you m e a n , a little?'
Fart like this since the last dwarf tribal gathering.'
' W h y d o n ' t I explain as you fly away, as fast as you can.'
A c o m p u t e r representation of the explosion appeared
Holly did not need to be told twice. W h e n Foaly advised
in her visor. To m o s t fairies the image would be little m o r e
an officer to leave before he delivered one of his beloved
than a blur, but L E P officers w e r e forced to develop the
lectures, then the situation was serious. She spread her arms
double focus necessary to read their screens and watch
wide and the action was mimicked by the wings on her back.
where they w e r e going at the same t i m e .
'Engage,' she said, pointing b o t h arms to the surface,
W h e n the simulation put Holly clear of the p r o j e c t e d
and the engines ignited, blasting h e r clear of the B a l t i c ,
blast radius, she dropped h e r b o o t s , swinging in a loose
boiling the water wake as it hung in the air. H e r suit was
. J S C ending arc t o face the kraken.
instantly dry as moisture slipped from its n o n - s t i c k mat-
'Isn't there something we can do?'
erial and air resistance tugged at any remaining drops. In
'Besides take a couple of pictures, n o p e . Too late for
seconds she had c l i m b e d to a hundred m e t r e s , the anxiety
that. O n l y a few minutes to go. Shelly's inner shell is already
in Foaly's voice hurrying h e r along.
at ignition t e m p e r a t u r e , so put your glare filter down and
'A kraken sheds its shell o n c e , and records show that
watch the show.'
37
36
Holly lowered h e r shade. 'This is going to m a k e the news all over the world. Islands d o n ' t j u s t e x p l o d e /
Holly magnified her visor to plus six and saw that the sauna door was open a crack, a wedge of steam pushing through
' Y e s , they do. Volcanic activity, gas leaks, c h e m i c a l accidents. Believe m e , if there's o n e thing the M u d M e n do know, it's h o w to explain away an explosion. T h e Americans invented Area Fifty-one just because a senator crashed a j e t into a mountain.'
lhe gap. T h e building was cooling faster than the humans, and ft > now they showed up separately on her scanner. ' W h a t are those M u d M e n doing h e r e ? Y o u said nothing opens until eight.' 'I d o n ' t know, Holly. H o w w o u l d I k n o w ? T h e y ' r e
' T h e mainland is safe?'
Immans. A b o u t as reliable as m o o n - m a d demons.'
'Should b e . A little shrapnel maybe.'
It didn't m a t t e r why the humans w e r e t h e r e — and
Holly relaxed, hanging from h e r wings. T h e r e was noth-
wondering about it was a waste of t i m e .
ing she could do, nothing she should do. This was a natural
'I have to go b a c k , Foaly.'
process and the kraken had every right to shed its shell.
Foaly put a c a m e r a on himself, broadcasting his live image
Methane explosions. Mulch would love this.
l o Holly's h e l m e t .
M u l c h Diggums was currently running a private inves-
' L o o k at my face, Holly. Do you see this expression?That's
tigations office in Haven with the pixie wheel-fairy, D o o d a h
my stern face. Do not do it, Holly. Do n o t return to the
Day. M u l c h had, in his t i m e , caused s o m e m e t h a n e distur-
Island. Humans die every day and we do n o t interfere. T h e
bances himself.
L E P never interferes.'
Something pulsed gently in Holly's visor. A plasma splodge of red in the thermal-sweep windows. T h e r e was life on the island, and n o t just insect or rodent. Multiple humans.
1
1 know the rules,' said Holly, muting the growling centaur.
There goes my career — again, she thought, angling h e r wings for a steep dive.
'Foaly. I have something/ Holly resized
the
w i n d o w w i t h a series
of blink
Four m e n sat in the sauna's outer r o o m , feeling very smug
c o m m a n d s t o t r a c k down the source. T h e r e w e r e four h o t
that they had o n c e again outwitted island authorities and
bodies inside the sauna.
managed to sneak a free sauna before work. It did help that
'Inside the sauna, Foaly. H o w did we miss t h e m ? '
< >ne of the m e n was Uunisaari's security guard and had access
' T h e i r bodies w e r e at the same t e m p e r a t u r e as the b r i c k
lo the keys and a little five-horsepower punt that a c c o m -
walls,' replied the centaur. ' I ' m guessing that o n e of the M u d M e n opened the door.'
/VVNA
modated the four friends and a b u c k e t of Karjala beer. ' G o o d t e m p e r a t u r e in the sauna today,' said o n e .
AAAA
AAAA
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38
A second wiped the steam from his glasses. 'A little hot, I thought. In fact, even h e r e it feels h o t underfoot.'
As she flew, she w o r k e d on h e r p r o b l e m : h o w to get lour humans out of the blast zone in as many minutes.
' G o j u m p in the B a l t i c , then,' said the guard, miffed at
Until recently she would have had a second problem: the
this lack of appreciation for his efforts. ' T h a t will c o o l down
building itself. According to the fairy B o o k , fairies were
your p o o r pinkies/
forbidden to enter human buildings without an invitation.
' D o n ' t pay any attention to him,' said the fourth m a n ,
This was a ten-thousand-year-old h e x that still had a little
fastening his watch. ' H e has sensitive feet. Always s o m e
sting, causing nausea and loss of power to anyone w h o defied
t e m p e r a t u r e problem.'
it. T h e law was an anachronism and a serious impediment
T h e m e n , friends since childhood, laughed and swigged
to L E P operations, so after a series of public debates and a
their b e e r s . T h e laughing and swigging ceased abruptly w h e n
referendum the h e x had been lifted by demon warlock N ° l .
a section of the r o o f suddenly caught fire and disintegrated.
It had taken the little d e m o n five minutes to unravel a h e x
T h e guard coughed out a mouthful of beer. 'Was s o m e o n e smoking? I said no smoking!' Even if one of his sauna buddies had answered, the guard would n o t have heard, as he had s o m e h o w managed to fly through the hole in the roof. ' M y toes are really hot,' said the bespectacled man, as if hanging on to old topics of conversation might m a k e n e w ones go away. T h e others ignored him, busy doing what m e n generally do in dangerous times — putting on their trousers.
that had stumped elfin warlocks for centuries. B a c k to the original p r o b l e m . Four large humans. Big explosion i m m i n e n t . T h e first one was easy enough and the obvious c h o i c e . He was blocking the others and w o r e nothing but a towel and a tiny security guard's cap, which p e r c h e d on top of I lis skull like a nut shell on the head of a bear. Holly g r i m a c e d . / have to get him out of my sight as soon as possible, or I may never forget this image. That Mud Man has more muscles than a troll. Troll! O f course.
T h e r e was no t i m e for introductions or d o o r s , so Holly
T h e r e had b e e n several additions to the R e c o n kit while
drew h e r N e u t r i n o sidearm, carved a t w o - m e t r e hole in
Holly had b e e n in L i m b o , m o s t invented and patented by
the r o o f and was treated to the sight of four pale, semi-
Foaly, naturally. O n e such addition was a n e w clip of darts
dressed M u d M e n quivering in sudden fright.
for h e r N e u t r i n o . T h e centaur called t h e m anti-gravity darts,
I'm not surprised they're quivering, she thought. And that's only the beginning.
but the officers called t h e m Floaters. T h e darts w e r e based on Foaly's own M o o n b e l t , which
41
40
g e n e r a t e d a field around w h a t e v e r was attached to it,
rolls w e r e batted aside; bottles of b e e r w e n t spinning across
reducing the Earth's gravitational pull to one-fifth of n o r m a l .
the tiles.
T h e M o o n b e l t was useful for transporting heavy equipm e n t . Field officers quickly adapted the b e l t to their own specialized needs, attaching their prisoners to the pitons, which made t h e m m u c h easier to handle. Foaly had then developed a dart that had the same effect
' M y sandwiches,' said o n e man, even as he struggled with his purple j e a n s . No time for panic, thought Holly, silent and invisible among (hem. She ducked low, avoiding pale swinging limbs, and quickly loosed off three m o r e darts.
as his M o o n b e l t . T h e dart used the fugitive's own flesh to
A strange calm descended on the sauna as three g r o w n
conduct the charge that rendered him almost weightless. Even
men found themselves floating towards a hole in the roof.
a troll seems less threatening when it is bobbing in the breeze
' M y feet are —' began the b e s p e c t a c l e d m a n .
like a balloon.
' S h u t up a b o u t y o u r f e e t ! ' shouted sandwich m a n ,
Holly slipped the clip from h e r b e l t , using the heel of one hand to ram it into the N e u t r i n o .
swiping at him with a fist. T h e m o t i o n sent him spinning and bouncing like a pinball.
Darts, she thought. Back to the Stone Age.
Foaly overrode Holly's m u t e .
T h e big security guard was square in h e r sights, his lip
' D ' A r v i t , Holly. You have seconds. Seconds! G e t out of
wobbling petulantly. No need for laser sights with this Mud Man, she thought. / could hardly miss. And she didn't. T h e tiny dart p r i c k e d the man's shoulder
there n o w ! Even your suit a r m o u r will n o t stop an e x p l o sion of this magnitude.' Holly's face was red and sweating in spite of h e r h e l m e t ' s climate c o n t r o l .
and he quivered for a m o m e n t until the anti-gravity field
Seconds left. How many times have I heard that?
encircled him.
No t i m e for subtleties. She lay flat on h e r b a c k , tapping
' O o h , ' he said. 'That's a little —'
t lie readout on h e r N e u t r i n o to select concussion b e a m s ,
T h e n Holly had landed beside h i m , grasped his pale thigh
. U K I fired a wide pattern blast straight up.
and hurled him into the sky. He w e n t , faster than a popped balloon, leaving a trail of surprised o's in his wake. T h e remaining m e n hurriedly finished pulling on their trousers. Two tripped in their haste, banging heads before
T h e b e a m b o r e the m e n aloft, as a fast-flowing river would b e a r bubbles, bouncing t h e m off the walls and each other b e f o r e finally popping t h e m through the still-sparking circle in the roof.
crashing to the ground. Plates of tomato-and-mozzarella
/VV\A
/VVNA
/VV^A
43
42
T h e last man out looked down as he left, wondering absently
caught it on v i d e o . T h e y ' r e using the footage in the Academy
why he was n o t gibbering in panic. Surely flying was grounds
now. You wouldn't believe h o w many cadets have b r o k e n
for hysteria?
their ankles trying the same trick.'
That will probably come later, he decided. If there is a later for me.
Holly was about to insist that her friend please shut up, when Shelly ignited his methane cells, decimating his old
In the steam of the sauna, it seemed to him that there was
shell and sending tons of debris hurtling skywards.The shock-
a small humanoid shape lying on the floor. A diminutive figure
wave t o o k Holly from below, like a giant's punch, sending
with wings that leaped to its feet, then sped towards the flying
her pin wheeling. She felt her suit flex to avoid the shock,
men.
(he tiny scales closing ranks against the impact like the shields
It's all true, thought the m a n . Just like L o r d of the Rings. Fantasy creatures. All true. T h e n the island e x p l o d e d , and the man stopped worrying about fantasy creatures and began w o r r y i n g about his trousers, which had just caught fire.
of a d e m o n battalion. T h e r e was a slight hiss as her h e l m e t plumped the safety bags protecting her brain and spinal cord. The screens in her visor flickered, j u m p e d , then settled. T h e world spun by h e r visor in a series of blues and
W i t h all four m e n in the air, Holly decided that it was t i m e
ality she was the one revolving and n o t the display.
to get h e r s e l f as far from the supposed island as possible.
Alive. Still alive. My odds must be getting short.
She j u m p e d from a squatting position, engaged h e r wings
Foaly b r o k e in on h e r thoughts. '. . . h e a r t rate is up,
in the air and shot into the m o r n i n g sky. 'Very nice,' said Foaly. 'You k n o w they're calling that m o v e the Hollycopter, d o n ' t you?' Holly d r e w h e r weapon, urging the weightless m e n further away from the island with short bursts. 'Busy staying alive, Foaly. Talk later.' Foaly said, 'Sorry, friend. I ' m w o r r i e d . I talk w h e n I ' m w o r r i e d . Caballine thinks it's a defence m e c h a n i s m . Anyway, the Hollycopter. You did the same take-off during that rooftop shoot-out in D a r m s t a d t . M a j o r — I m e a n , Commander Kelp
I hough I d o n ' t k n o w why. O n e would think you'd be used to these situations by now. T h e four humans made it, you will be delighted to know, since you risked your life and my t e c h n o l o g y to save t h e m . W h a t if o n e of my Floaters bad fallen into human hands?' Holly used a combination of gestures and blinks to fire short bursts from several of h e r wings' twelve engines, wrestling b a c k c o n t r o l of h e r rig. She opened h e r visor to cough and spit, then answered his accusation.
45
44
T m f i n e , thanks for asking. And all L E P e q u i p m e n t i s
than a few seconds before the coastguard r e a c h e d t h e m .
fitted with r e m o t e destruct. Even m e ! So the only way your
' O K , ' said the centaur, obviously relieved. 'Potential
precious Floaters w e r e ever going to fall into human hands
disaster averted and our g o o d deed done for the day. K i c k
was if your t e c h n o l o g y failed.'
up your b o o t s and head b a c k for the shuttle station. I have
' W h i c h reminds m e , ' said Foaly. 'I n e e d to get rid of
no doubt that C o m m a n d e r Kelp will want a detailed report.' 'Just a second — I have mail.'
those darts.' B e l o w was p a n d e m o n i u m . It s e e m e d as though half of
'Mail! Mail! Do you really think this is the time? Your
Helsinki's inhabitants had already managed to launch t h e m -
power levels are down, and the rear panels of your suit
selves in various crafts, and a veritable flotilla was heading
have taken a severe pasting. You n e e d to g e t out of there,
towards the explosion site, led by a coastguard vessel, t w o
before your shield fails altogether.'
powerful outboards churning at its stern, nose up for speed.
'I have to read this o n e , Foaly. It's important.'
T h e kraken itself was obscured by smoke and dust, but
T h e mail i c o n flashing in Holly's visor was tagged with
charred fragments of its shell rained down like volcanic
Artemis's signature. A r t e m i s and Holly c o l o u r - c o d e d their
ash, coating the decks of the boats b e l o w and draping a
mail icons. G r e e n was social, blue was business and red
dark blanket over the Baltic Sea.
was urgent. T h e mail i c o n in Holly's visor pulsed a bright
Twenty m e t r e s to Holly's left, the floating m e n b o b b e d
red. She blinked at the i c o n , opening the short message.
happily through the air, riding the last ripples of explosive
Mother dying, it read. Please come at once. Bring N° 1.
shock, trousers hanging in tattered ruins from their waists.
Holly felt a cold dread in h e r stomach and the world
'I am surprised,' said Holly, zooming in on the m e n . ' N o
s e e m e d to lurch before h e r eyes. Mother dying. Bring N°l.
screaming or wetting themselves.' 'A little drop of relaxant in the dart,' chuckled Foaly. ' W e l l , I say a little drop. Enough to have a troll missing his mummy.' 'Trolls occasionally eat their m o t h e r s , ' c o m m e n t e d Holly.
T h e situation must be desperate if A r t e m i s was asking her to bring the powerful d e m o n w a r l o c k . She flashed b a c k to the day, eighteen years ago, w h e n
'Exactly.'
h e r own m o t h e r had passed away. A l m o s t t w o decades now,
Foaly waited until the m e n had dropped to within three
and the loss was still as painful as a raw wound. A thought
m e t r e s of the ocean's surface, then r e m o t e detonated the
struck her.
tiny charge in each dart. Four small pops w e r e followed
It's not eighteen years. It's twenty-one. I've been awayjor three.
by four loud splashes. T h e m e n w e r e in the water no m o r e
C o r a l S h o r t had b e e n a d o c t o r with L E P m a r i n e , which
/W\A
A/VSA
AAAA
46
47
patrolled the Atlantic, cleaning up after humans, protecting
Q w a n will let N u m b e r O n e out of the magi-lab for a few
endangered species. She had b e e n m o r t a l l y injured w h e n
hours.'
a particularly rancid-looking tanker they w e r e shadowing
' T h a n k s , old friend.'
accidentally doused their submarine with radioactive waste.
'You're w e l c o m e . N o w go. I ' m going t o get out o f your
D i r t y radiation is poison to fairies and it had taken h e r
I lead for a while and m o n i t o r the chatter h e r e . Maybe I can
m o t h e r a w e e k to die.
plant a few ideas in the human media. I like the idea of an
T will make t h e m pay/ Holly had vowed, crying at h e r
underground natural gas p o c k e t . It's almost the truth.'
m o t h e r ' s bedside in Haven Clinic. 'I will hunt down every
Almost the truth.
last one of those M u d M e n . '
Holly couldn't help applying the phrase to Artemis's
' N o , ' h e r m o t h e r had said with surprising force. T spent my c a r e e r saving creatures.You must do the same. Destruction cannot be my legacy.'
mail. So often the Irish boy manipulated people by telling them almost the truth. She chided h e r s e l f silently. Surely n o t . Even A r t e m i s
It was one of the last things she would ever say. T h r e e
fowl would n o t lie about something this serious.
days later, Holly stood stony-faced at h e r m o t h e r ' s recycling
Everyone had their limits.
ceremony, h e r g r e e n dress uniform b u t t o n e d to the chin.
D i d n ' t they?
T h e O m n i t o o l that h e r m o t h e r had given h e r as a graduation present in its holster on h e r belt. Saving creatures. So Holly applied to R e c o n . And n o w A r t e m i s ' s m o t h e r was dying. Holly realized that she didn't think of A r t e m i s as a human any m o r e , just as a friend. 'I n e e d to go to Ireland,' she said. Foaly did n o t b o t h e r to argue: he had sneaked a p e e k at the urgent mail on Holly's screen. ' G o . I can c o v e r for you h e r e for a few hours. I could say y o u ' r e c o m p l e t i n g the Ritual. As it happens there's a full m o o n tonight and we still have a few magical sites n e a r Dublin. I'll send a message to S e c t i o n Eight. Maybe
AAAA.
AAAA
AAAA
49
second opinion, but as many opinions as possible. Butler will lake the j e t and go to China. No time for official channels, so perhaps you could find a strip where immigration is a little lax.' Butler nodded. 'I k n o w j u s t the place. I can be there and
CHAPTERS:
E C H O E S OF
back in t w o days, all going well.' Artemis Senior was satisfied. ' G o o d . T h e j e t is fuelled .ind ready. I have already organized a full c r e w and an e x t r a pilot.' 'I just need to pack a few things, then I can be on my
ARTE Hi IS
Senior assembled his troops in
Fowl Manor's conference r o o m , which had originally b e e n a banqueting hall. Until recently the soaring G o t h i c arches were hidden by a
way.' A r t e m i s could imagine what kinds of things B u t l e r would pack, especially if there w e r e no officials at the airstrip. ' W h a t will you do, Father?' he asked.
false ceiling, but Angeline Fowl had ordered the ceiling to
'I am going to England,' said Artemis Senior. 'I can take
be removed and the hall restored to its original double-height
t he helicopter to London City Airport and from there a limou-
glory.
sine to Harley Street. T h e r e are several specialists I can talk
A r t e m i s , his father and B u t l e r sat in black leather M a r c e l
t o , and it will be far m o r e efficient to send me there than
B r e u e r chairs round a glass-topped table with space for ten
hring them all here. If any of them can shed even the most
m o r e people.
feeble ray of light on your mother's situation, then I will pay
Not so long ago there were smugglers seated at this table, thought A r t e m i s . Not to mention crime lords, hackers, insider traders, counterfeiters, black marketeers and cat burglars. The old Jamily businesses. A r t e m i s Senior closed his laptop. He was pale and obviously exhausted, but the old determination shone brightly in his eyes. ' T h e plan is a simple one. We must seek out n o t just a
E$C3 • $ 3 < W ? ^ ( V T O 1 ) * 8 8 •d&fO
them whatever it takes to get them back here. Buy out their practices if necessary.' A r t e m i s nodded. W i s e tactics. Still, he would e x p e c t no less from the man w h o had successfully run a criminal empire for over two decades, and a humanitarian one for the past few years. Everything A r t e m i s Senior did n o w was ethical. F r o m his fair-trade clothes company to his shares in Earthpower,
/WSA
/VNAAAAAA
/WW
51
50
a
consortium
of l i k e - m i n d e d
businessmen
who
were
building everything from renewable-fuel cars to g e o t h e r m a l
n o w . We have to believe that saving your m o t h e r is possible. I )o you believe it?' Artemis n o t i c e d one of the upper windows swinging
rods and solar panels. He'd even had the Fowl cars, j e t and
ajar A leaf curled into the r o o m , riding a swirling
helicopter fitted with advanced emission filters to lighten
slowly
the family's carbon footprint.
breeze, then the window s e e m e d to close itself. 'I absolutely believe it, Father. M o r e with every minute.'
T shall remain here,' announced A r t e m i s , without waiting to be told. T can coordinate your efforts, set up a web cam so that the Harley S t r e e t specialists can see M o t h e r , super-
I
vise D o c t o r Schalke and Miss B o o k , and also c o n d u c t my
Sikorsky S - 7 6 C had lifted off from the rooftop heliport.
own I n t e r n e t search for possible cures.'
Artemis was busy rigging a web cam at the foot of his
A r t e m i s Senior half smiled. 'Exactly, son. I hadn't thought o f the w e b cam.' B u t l e r was anxious to depart, but he had a point to m a k e before going. T am n o t c o m f o r t a b l e about leaving A r t e m i s alone. A genius he may b e , b u t he is still a habitual m e d d l e r
lolly
did n o t reveal h e r s e l f until A r t e m i s Senior's modified
mother's b e d w h e n the e l f s h i m m e r e d into view with h e r hand on his shoulder. ' A r t e m i s , I am so sorry,' she said softly. T h a n k s for coming, Holly,' said A r t e m i s . 'You got here quickly.'
and a magnet for t r o u b l e . ' T h e bodyguard winked at A r t e m i s .
'I was above ground in Finland, chasing a kraken.'
' N o offence, young sir, but you could turn a Sunday picnic
'Ah yes, Tennyson's beast,' said A r t e m i s , closing his eyes,
into an international incident.'
r e m e m b e r i n g a few lines from the famous p o e m .
A r t e m i s accepted the accusation graciously. ' N o n e taken.' 1
' T h a t thought has o c c u r r e d to m e , ' said A r t e m i s Senior,
Below the thunders of the upper deep;
scratching his chin. ' B u t there is nothing for it. T h e nanny
Far far beneath in the abysmal sea,
has agreed to take the twins to h e r cottage in H o w t h for
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep,
a couple of days, but A r t y is n e e d e d h e r e and so he will
The kraken sleepeth!
have to fend for himself.' ' W h i c h will n o t be a problem,' said A r t e m i s . 'Have a little faith, please.' A r t e m i s Senior reached across the table, covering his son's hand with his own. 'Faith in each o t h e r is all we have
'Sleepeth? N o t any m o r e . W a t c h the news headlines later. There was a natural gas explosion apparently.' 'I would guess that Foaly is up to his old spin-doctoring 1 ricks.'
53
52
'Yes.'
thief. All my m o t h e r has ever done was love me and try to
' N o t many kraken left n o w / c o m m e n t e d A r t e m i s . 'Seven
protect me and n o w she may die.'
by my reckoning.'
H o l l y h e l p e d A r t e m i s t o his f e e t . ' Y o u ' r e n o t that
' S e v e n ? ' said Holly, surprised. ' W e ' r e only tracking six.'
person any m o r e , A r t e m i s , and you love y o u r m o t h e r ,
'Ah yes, six. I m e a n t six. N e w suit?' he asked, changing
don't you?'
the subject a little t o o quickly. ' T h r e e years m o r e advanced than the last one,' replied Holly, filing the kraken titbit for investigation at a later time. 'It has auto-armour. If the sensors feel something big coming, the entire suit flexes to cushion the blow. It's saved my life once today already.' A message i c o n b e e p e d in Holly's h e l m e t , and she t o o k a m o m e n t to read the short t e x t .
A r t e m i s huffed, embarrassed. 'Yes. O f course.' ' T h e n you are a g o o d son. And your m o t h e r will see that as soon as I cure her.' Holly clicked her n e c k and magical sparks leaped from her fingertips, spinning in an inverted c o n e . ' N o , ' b l u r t e d A r t e m i s . ' W o u l d n ' t it be wise to c h e c k the symptoms first?' Holly closed h e r fist, smothering the sparks. Suspicious.
' N u m b e r O n e is on the way. T h e y ' r e sending the Section
She t o o k off h e r h e l m e t and stepped close to A r t e m i s ,
Eight shuttle. No way to contain this now, so whatever we
( l o s e r than he liked people to b e , staring hard into his
n e e d to do has to be done fast.'
mismatched eyes. It was strange to see h e r own eye looking
' G o o d . I n e e d all the help I can get.' T h e i r conversation petered out as Angeline Fowl's deathly illness c o m p l e t e l y o c c u p i e d t h e i r thoughts. She radiated pallor and the s m e l l of lilies hung y e l l o w in the air.
back at her. 'Have you done something, A r t e m i s ? ' A r t e m i s m e t h e r gaze steadily. It s e e m e d that there was nothing in his eyes but sadness. ' N o . I am m o r e cautious with my m o t h e r than I would
A r t e m i s fumbled with the w e b cam and it rolled under the b e d . 'Hellfire,' he swore, kneeling to reach an a r m into the dark space. 'I c a n ' t . . . I j u s t c a n ' t . . .' And suddenly the e n o r m i t y of the situation s t r u c k him hard. ' W h a t kind of son am I?' he whispered. 'A liar and a
he with myself, that is all.' Holly's suspicion was b o r n o f years o f e x p e r i e n c e w i t h A r t e m i s and s o she w o n d e r e d why h e w o u l d b e r e l u c tant t o allow h e r t o use m a g i c n o w w h e n i t had n e v e r h o t h e r e d h i m b e f o r e . Perhaps he had already t r i e d this route h i m s e l f . Perhaps t h e t i m e s t r e a m had n o t stripped him of his s t o l e n m a g i c , as he had c l a i m e d .
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She clamped h e r hands to the side of A r t e m i s ' s head, then laid h e r forehead against his.
fingers c l u t c h e d the sheets as though hanging on to life. Holly t o o k a medi-kit from h e r b e l t , placed it on the
' S t o p this, Holly/ o b j e c t e d A r t e m i s . ' W e have n o t i m e /
bedside table and used a swab to take a sample of the gel.
Holly did n o t answer, closing h e r eyes, concentrating.
'This g e l . T h a t smell. It c a n ' t b e . It can't.'
A r t e m i s felt heat spread across his skull and the familiar buzz of m a g i c . Holly was probing h i m . It lasted barely a second. ' N o t h i n g ' she said, releasing h i m . ' E c h o e s of m a g i c . But no power.' A r t e m i s stumbled backwards, dizzy. T understand your suspicion, Holly. I have earned it repeatedly. N o w would you please e x a m i n e my m o t h e r ? ' Holly realized that up to this point she had avoided
'It c a n ' t be what?' asked A r t e m i s , his fingers tight on her f o r e a r m . Holly ignored h i m , slipping h e r h e l m e t on and opening a channel to Police Plaza. 'Foaly? A r e you t h e r e ? ' T h e centaur responded on the second buzz. ' R i g h t h e r e , I lolly. Chained to the desk. C o m m a n d e r Kelp has sent me a couple of mails asking w h e r e you are. I fobbed him off with the Ritual story. I r e c k o n you have about —'
doing anything m o r e than take a c u r s o r y glance at Angeline
Holly i n t e r r u p t e d his chatter. 'Foaly, listen to m e .
F o w l . This entire situation b r o u g h t b a c k t o o many painful
Artemis's m o t h e r . I think we have something . . . I think
memories.
it's bad.'
' O f c o u r s e , A r t e m i s . I ' m sorry about the p r o b e . I had to be sure that I could take all of this on face value.' ' M y feelings are n o t important,' said A r t e m i s , leading Holly by the elbow. 'Now, my m o t h e r . Please.' Holly had to force h e r s e l f to e x a m i n e Angeline Fowl properly, and, the m o m e n t she did, a d e e p - r o o t e d dread sent pins and needles fluttering up and down h e r limbs. 'I k n o w this,' she whispered. T k n o w it.'
T h e centaur's m o o d changed instantly. Holly suspected that he had b e e n waffling to hide his anxiety. After all, Artemis's message had b e e n very g r i m . ' O K . I'll sync with the m a n o r systems. Ask A r t e m i s for I lis password.' Holly lifted h e r visor to l o o k A r t e m i s in the eye. 'Foaly wants your security password.' ' O f c o u r s e , o f course.' A r t e m i s was drifting and i t t o o k
'This condition is familiar to you?' asked A r t e m i s .
him a m o m e n t to r e m e m b e r his own s e c r e t w o r d . 'It's
His m o t h e r ' s face and arms w e r e coated with a clear gel
C E N T A U R . All caps.'
that oozed from h e r pores and then steamed away. Angeline's
B e l o w the Earth's crust, Foaly stored the c o m p l i m e n t
eyes w e r e wide but only the whites w e r e visible and h e r
in the c o r n e r of his brain that held treasured m e m o r i e s .
57
He would take that one out later and gloat over a glass of
' O K , ' he said, after half a m i n u t e . 'I have what I need.'
sim-wine.
Holly closed h e r fist on the sensor, then stood with
'Centaur. Right. I ' m in.'
Artemis, clasping his hand in hers, silently awaiting the
A large plasma television on the wall flickered on and
results. It did n o t take long, especially w h e n Foaly had a
Foaly's face appeared, first in blurred bubbles, then in sharp f o c u s . T h e w e b cam in Artemis's hand whirred as the centaur r e m o t e l y fiddled with its focus m o t o r . ' T h e m o r e points of view the better, eh?' he said, his voice pulsing from the television speakers in surround sound. Artemis held the camera before his m o t h e r ' s face, holding it as still as possible. 'I take it, from Holly's reaction, that this condition is familiar to you?'
good idea of his search parameters. His face was g r i m as he read the results. ' T h e c o m p u t e r has analysed the gel. I am afraid it's Spelltropy.' A r t e m i s n o t i c e d Holly's grip tightening. W h a t e v e r this Spelltropy was, it was bad. He b r o k e free from Holly, striding to the wall-mounted television. 'I n e e d an explanation, Foaly. Now, please.' Foaly sighed, then nodded. 'Very well, A r t e m i s . Spelltropy was a plague among the fairy People. O n c e contracted, it
Holly pointed to the sheen covering Angeline's face. ' S e e
was invariably fatal, and progressed to terminal stages in
the gel, Foaly, from the pores. And the smell of lilies t o o ;
three months. F r o m that point the patient has less than a
there can't be any doubt.'
week.This disease has everything. N e u r o t o x i n s , cell destruc-
'It's impossible,' m u t t e r e d the centaur. ' W e eradicated this years ago.' A r t e m i s was growing weary of these vague references. 'What is impossible? Eradicated what? ' N o diagnosis just yet, A r t e m i s ; it would be premature. Holly, I n e e d to run a scan.'
tion, resistance to all conventional therapies, incredibly aggressive. It's amazing, really.' Artemis's t e e t h w e r e c l e n c h e d . 'That's fabulous, Foaly. At last, something even you can admire.' Foaly wiped a bead of sweat from his nose, pausing before he spoke. ' T h e r e is no cure, A r t e m i s . N o t any m o r e . I ' m
Holly positioned the palm of h e r hand over Angeline
afraid your m o t h e r is dying. Judging by the concentration
Fowl's forehead and the omni-sensor in h e r glove bathed
in the gel, I would say she has twenty-four hours, thirty-
Artemis's m o t h e r in a m a t r i x of lasers.
six if she fights. If it's any consolation, she w o n ' t suffer at
Foaly's finger swished like a m e t r o n o m e as the information was fed to his system. It was an unconscious movem e n t that s e e m e d t o o j o l l y for the situation.
the end.' Holly crossed the r o o m , reaching up to grasp Artemis's shoulder, noticing h o w tall h e r human friend was becoming.
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' A r t e m i s , t h e r e are things w e can d o t o m a k e h e r comfortable.' A r t e m i s shrugged h e r off, almost violently. ' N o . I can
A r t e m i s was growing impatient. 'I d o n ' t care about the politics, Foaly. I want to k n o w what the cure was, and why we c a n ' t administer it to my mother.'
achieve w o n d e r s . I have talents. Information is my weapon.'
'It's a long story.'
He r e t u r n e d his attention to the screen. 'Foaly, forgive my
'Abbreviate,' snapped A r t e m i s .
outburst. I am m y s e l f now. You said that this Spelltropy was
Foaly's eyes dipped, unable to m e e t A r t e m i s ' s . ' T h e cure
a plague; w h e r e did it b e g i n ? '
o c c u r r e d naturally. Many creatures contain an i m p o r t a n t
' M a g i c , ' said Foaly simply, then elaborated: ' M a g i c is
pharmacopoeia and act as natural m a g i c enhancers, but
fuelled by the Earth and w h e n the Earth could no longer
because o f human activities m o r e than t w e n t y thousand o f
absorb the sheer bulk of pollutants the m a g i c b e c a m e tainted
these potentially life-saving species b e c o m e e x t i n c t every
also. Spelltropy first appeared about twenty years ago in
year. Opal developed a simple syringe gun to e x t r a c t the
Linfen, China.'
cure for Spelltropy without killing the d o n o r animal.'
Artemis nodded. It made sense. Linfen was infamous for its high pollution levels. As the centre of China's coal industry,
A r t e m i s suddenly realized why Foaly c o u l d n ' t l o o k him in the eye. He cradled his head in his hands.
the city's air was laden with fly ash, carbon m o n o x i d e ,
' O h no. D o n ' t say it.'
nitrogen oxides, volatile organic compounds, arsenic and
' O p a l K o b o i found the antidote in the brain fluid of the
lead. T h e r e was a j o k e among Chinese employers: if you hold a grudge against an employee, send him to w o r k in Linfen. 'It is passed on through m a g i c , and thus is c o m p l e t e l y impervious to m a g i c . In ten years, it had almost decimated the fairy population. We lost twenty-five p e r c e n t of our n u m b e r s . Atlantis was w o r s t hit.' ' B u t you stopped it,' A r t e m i s insisted. 'You must have found a cure.' ' N o t m e , ' said Foaly. ' O u r old friend O p a l K o b o i found the antidote. It t o o k h e r ten years, then she tried to charge through the nose for it. We had to g e t a c o u r t o r d e r to confiscate the supply of antidote.'
silky sifaka l e m u r of Madagascar.' T always knew,' m o a n e d A r t e m i s , 'that this would c o m e back.' 'Unfortunately the silky sifaka is n o w e x t i n c t . T h e last o n e died almost eight years ago.' A r t e m i s ' s eyes w e r e haunted by guilt. T know,' he whispered. T killed it.'
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His father lowered h i m s e l f into the p e r i o d chair and A r t e m i s enjoyed a quiet m o m e n t of satisfaction. ' T h e ship is ready, I take i t ? ' ' R e a d y to sail,' said his father, e x c i t e m e n t flashing in his blue eyes. ' T h i s is a n e w m a r k e t , Arty, my boy. M o s c o w is
IllOllKEY'S uncLE
already o n e of the m o s t c o m m e r c i a l cities in the w o r l d .
C H A P T E R 4:
N o r t h e r n Russia will inevitably follow.' 'I gather M o t h e r is n o t very pleased with your latest venture.' Recently, Artemis's parents had b e e n arguing late into
F O W L H I A I I O R , ALHTOST E I G H T Y E A R S A G O
the night. T h e conflict in their otherwise happy marriage was over A r t e m i s Senior's business interests. He controlled
M |\,[^% [J f
J by 6
^
;
%
T E I l - y e a r - o l d A r t e m i s Fowl closed the file
a criminal empire that had tentacles from the silver mines
he was working on, put his m o n i t o r to sleep,
of Alaska to the shipyards of N e w Zealand. Angeline was a
His father
dedicated conservationist and humanitarian, and believed
would arrive in a m o m e n t for their meeting.
that A r t e m i s Senior's criminal activities and ruthless exploita-
then r o s e from his study desk.
that
tion of natural resources set a terrible e x a m p l e to their son.
m o r n i n g by internal mail and he was never late. His t i m e
' H e will g r o w up j u s t like his father,' A r t e m i s had heard
was p r e c i o u s , and he e x p e c t e d his son to be ready for their
h e r say o n e evening, through a little radio bug he'd planted
m o r n i n g talk. A r t e m i s ' s father arrived p r o m p t l y at t e n ,
in the aquarium.
Artemis
Senior
had
confirmed
the
appointment
leather greatcoat swishing around his k n e e s . 'Minus fifteen in M u r m a n s k / he explained, formally shaking his son's hand. A r t e m i s was standing on a specific flagstone b e f o r e the
'I thought you loved his father.' A r t e m i s h e a r d a rustling of m a t e r i a l as his parents e m b r a c e d . 'I do. I love you m o r e than life. B u t I love this planet too.'
fireplace. He was n o t actually required to stand in this spot,
' M y love,' said A r t e m i s Senior, so gently that it was
but he k n e w his father would sit in the Louis XV chair by
difficult for the bug to pick up his voice, 'the Fowl finances
the hearth and A r t e m i s S e n i o r did n o t like to crane his
are in a delicate state right now. W h a t capital we have is
n e c k as he spoke.
l o c k e d up in illegal ventures. I n e e d o n e big deal so that I
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can begin the transition to c o m p l e t e l y legitimate businesses.
Artemis Senior told his son, standing to b u t t o n his great-
O n c e we have s o m e blue-chip s t o c k under our b e l t s , then
e o a t . 'And, w h e n that day c o m e s , I will rest easy, because
we can save the world.'
I know you will put the Fowls first.'
A r t e m i s heard his m o t h e r kiss his father. 'Very well, my pirate p r i n c e . O n e big deal, then we save the world.'
'Absolutely, Father,' said A r t e m i s . 'Fowls first. B u t that day will n o t c o m e for decades.'
O n e big deal. A shipload of tax-free cola for the Russians.
Artemis Senior laughed. ' L e t ' s hope n o t , son. Now, I
But m o r e importantly a pipeline of trade into the A r c t i c .
must be off. L o o k after your m o t h e r while I am g o n e . And
A r t e m i s suspected that his father would find it hard to
don't let h e r squander the family fortune, eh?'
abandon this pipeline after a single d e a l . T h e r e w e r e billions t o b e made.
T h e words w e r e said in a light-hearted way, but a w e e k later A r t e m i s Fowl Senior was missing, p r e s u m e d dead, and (hose words b e c a m e the code his son would live by.
' T h e Fowl Star is fully loaded and ready for h e r voyage,' Artemis's father informed his son later during their sched-
Look after jour mother, but don't let her squander the family fortune.
uled m e e t i n g in his study. ' R e m e m b e r , the world cannot be saved with g o o d intentions alone. Leverage is n e e d e d ,
Two m o n t h s later and A r t e m i s was b a c k at his desk, staring
and gold is leverage.'
at the c o m p u t e r display in his study. On screen w e r e the
A r t e m i s Senior pointed to the Fowl crest and m o t t o , carved into a w o o d e n shield above the fireplace.
gloomy details of the family finances, which had dwindled rapidly since the disappearance of his father. He was the
'Aurum potestas est. Gold is power: never forget that, Arty. Until the greens have wealth behind t h e m , no one will listen.'
m a n of the house now, custodian of the Fowl e m p i r e , and must behave as such.
Young A r t e m i s was t o r n b e t w e e n his parents. His father
No s o o n e r had A r t e m i s Senior's ship b e e n claimed by
e m b o d i e d everything the family stood for. T h e Fowl dynasty
the b l a c k A r c t i c w a t e r s than his d e b t o r s unanimously
had flourished for centuries because of their dedication to
defaulted, and his cells of forgers, m u s c l e m e n , thieves and
wealth, and A r t e m i s had no doubt that his father would
smugglers allied themselves to o t h e r organizations.
find a way first to increase their fortunes and then turn his
Honour among thieves? reflected Artemis bitterly. / think not.
attention to the environment. He loved his m o t h e r , but the
M o s t of the Fowl m o n e y simply disappeared overnight,
Fowls' finances must be saved.
and A r t e m i s was left with an estate to run and a m o t h e r
' S o m e day c o n t r o l of the family business will fall to you,'
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who was heading rapidly towards nervous breakdown.
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It wasn't long before the creditors w e r e closing in, eager to claim their slice of the pie before only c r u m b s w e r e left. A r t e m i s had b e e n forced to auction a R e m b r a n d t sketch just to pay the m o r t g a g e on the m a n o r and settle various o t h e r debts.
'Mother,' he said, waving a bank account statement. ' W h a t || this?' Angeline dried h e r eyes on a handkerchief, then rose to her elbows, slowly focusing on h e r son. 'Arty, little Arty. C o m e and sit with m e . '
M o t h e r was n o t making things any easier. She refused
Angeline's eyes were ringed by black mascara tears, and her
to believe that A r t e m i s Senior was missing and forged ahead
complexion had faded to a white that was almost translucent.
with h e r mission to save the world, hang the e x p e n s e .
Be strong.
A r t e m i s m e a n w h i l e was trying to m o u n t expeditions to
' No, M o t h e r . No sitting and talking. I want you to explain
find his father. This was difficult w h e n you are ten years
l his fifty-thousand-euro c h e q u e to a wildlife c e n t r e in South
old and n o t taken seriously by the adult world in general,
Africa.'
in spite of various international art and music prizes, n o t to m e n t i o n over a dozen lucrative patents and copyrights
Angeline was b e w i l d e r e d . 'South Africa, darling? W h o ' s gone to South Africa?'
filed worldwide. In t i m e A r t e m i s would build a fortune of
'You sent a cheque for fifty thousand euro to South Africa,
his own, but in time was n o t soon enough. M o n e y was
Mother. I had that money put aside for the Arctic expedition.'
needed now.
'Fifty thousand.That figure is familiar. I'll ask your father
A r t e m i s wanted to put t o g e t h e r a p r o p e r situations r o o m to m o n i t o r the I n t e r n e t and world news channels. T h a t
when he gets in. He had b e t t e r n o t be late for dinner again loday, or I'll —'
would take twenty c o m p u t e r s at least. Also there was the
A r t e m i s lost his patience. ' M o t h e r , please. T r y to think.
t e a m of A r c t i c e x p l o r e r s waiting in their M o s c o w hotel for
We do n o t have spare funds for South African charities. All
him to wire the n e x t p o r t i o n of their payment. A payment
Ate staff have b e e n let go e x c e p t B u t l e r and he hasn't b e e n
that he didn't have.
paid in a month.'
A r t e m i s tapped the screen with an elegant finger. Something must be done, he thought.
' L e m u r ! ' shouted Angeline triumphantly. 'I r e m e m b e r now. I bought a silky sifaka lemur.' 'Impossible,' snapped A r t e m i s . ' T h e Propithecus candidus
Angeline Fowl was crying on h e r b e d when A r t e m i s entered the b e d r o o m . His h e a r t lurched at the sight, but he c l e n c h e d his fists and told h i m s e l f to be strong.
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i s extinct.' His m o t h e r was suddenly passionate. ' N o . N o , they found little silky in South Africa. T h e y d o n ' t k n o w h o w it managed
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66
to get there from Madagascar — probably on a poacher's boat. So I had to save it. It's the last o n e , Arty.' Tn a year or t w o it will die,' said A r t e m i s coldly. ' T h e n our m o n e y will have b e e n wasted.' Angeline was horrified. 'You sound just like —' 'Father? G o o d . S o m e o n e has to be rational.' Artemis's face was stern, but inside he quailed. H o w
'Now, now, A r t e m i s , ' his m o t h e r chided. 'Silky is a lemur, t h e y predate m o n k e y s , as you well know.' / know but do not care! A r t e m i s wanted to scream. Father is missing and you have spent the expedition money on a lemur! But he held his tongue. M o t h e r was delicate at the m o m e n t and he did not want to contribute to her instability. ' R a t h d o w n d o n ' t usually a c c e p t visitors,'
continued
could he speak to his m o t h e r like this w h e n she was liter-
Angeline. ' B u t I am sure if I made a call they would m a k e
ally driven d e m e n t e d by grief?
an e x c e p t i o n for you. T h e Fowls did pay for the primate
Why have I not fallen to pieces? he w o n d e r e d , and the answer c a m e to him quickly: I am a Fowl, and Fowls have always triumphed in the face of adversity.
village, after all.' A r t e m i s appeared delighted. ' T h a n k you, M o t h e r . That would be a real treat for m e , and B u t l e r t o o . You k n o w
' B u t fifty thousand, M o t h e r ? F o r a l e m u r ? '
h o w he likes small furry creatures. I would love to see the
' T h e y may find a female,' argued Angeline. ' T h e n we
species we have saved.'
will have saved a species.' There is no point in arguing, thought A r t e m i s . Logic cannot prevail here.
Angeline smiled with a degree of madness that scared h e r son terribly. ' W e l l done, A r t e m i s . This is one in the eye for the big-
'And w h e r e is lucky silky n o w ? ' he asked innocently,
business m e n . M o t h e r and son, united, we shall save the
smiling as a ten-year-old should, when discussing a small
world. I shall tease your father terribly w h e n he gets h o m e . '
furry animal. ' H e is safe in Rathdown Park. Living like a king.Tomorrow he is being flown to a special artificial habitat in Florida.'
A r t e m i s backed slowly towards the door, his h e a r t in his shoes. 'Yes, M o t h e r . U n i t e d , we shall save the world.'
A r t e m i s nodded. Rathdown Park was a privately funded
O n c e the d o o r had closed behind him, A r t e m i s stepped
nature reserve in W i c k l o w , specially c o n s t r u c t e d to p r o t e c t
briskly downstairs, fingers conducting imaginary music as
endangered species. It had tighter security than the average
he plotted. He detoured to his b e d r o o m and dressed quickly
Swiss bank.
for a trip, then continued to the kitchen, w h e r e he found
'That's wonderful. Perhaps I will visit the fifty-thousandeuro monkey.'
B u t l e r slicing vegetables with a Japanese kodachi short sword. He was n o w c h e f and gardener as well as protector.
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T h e huge bodyguard was making q u i c k w o r k of a cucumber.
\<>u well know, but they generally did n o t last. An intellect such
'A summer salad,' he explained. 'Just greens, hard-boiled egg and some chicken. I thought c r e m e brulee for dessert. It will give me a chance to try out my flamethrower.' He
as m i n e cannot b e overpowered by e m o t i o n s for long.'
' B u t you said that you killed the animal.' A r t e m i s r u b b e d his t e m p l e . 'Yes, I did. I didn't wield l he knife, but I killed it, m a k e no mistake.'
glanced across at Artemis and was surprised to see him dressed
' H o w exactly?'
in one of his two suits, the dark blue one he had w o r n recently
T was young . . . younger,' m u m b l e d A r t e m i s , u n c o m -
to the opera in Covent Garden. Artemis had always been a
fortable with the t o p i c . 'A different person in many ways.'
neat dresser, but a suit and tie was unusual, even for him.
' W e k n o w what you w e r e like, A r t e m i s , ' said Foaly in
' A r e w e going s o m e w h e r e f o r m a l , A r t e m i s ? '
rueful t o n e s . 'You have no idea how m u c h of my budget
' N o w h e r e formal,' said A r t e m i s , with a coldness in his
1 lie Fowl M a n o r siege ate up.'
t o n e that the bodyguard had n o t heard b e f o r e , but would c o m e to k n o w well. ' J u s t business. I am in charge of the family affairs now, and so I should dress accordingly.'
Holly pressed for an answer. ' H o w did you kill the lemur? I low did you even get hold of it?' 'It was ridiculously easy,' admitted A r t e m i s . ' B u t l e r and
'Ah . . . I d e t e c t a distinct e c h o o f your father.' B u t l e r
I visited Rathdown Park and simply disabled the security
wiped the sword carefully, then pulled off his apron. ' W e
while we w e r e t h e r e . Later that evening we both popped
have s o m e typical Fowl family business to c o n d u c t , do w e ? '
back and picked up the lemur.'
'Yes,' replied A r t e m i s . ' W i t h a m o n k e y ' s uncle.'
' S o B u t l e r killed it. I am surprised; it's n o t his style.' A r t e m i s ' s eyes w e r e downcast. ' N o , B u t l e r didn't do it. I sold the l e m u r to a group of Extinctionists.'
FOWL HIAIIOR,
Holly was horrified. 'Extinctionists! A r t e m i s , you didn't.
P R E S E H T DAY
That's horrible.' 'It was my first big deal,' said A r t e m i s . T delivered it to
Holly was aghast. ' S o , in a fit of childish pique, you m u r d e r e d the lemur.'
them in M o r o c c o and they paid me a hundred thousand
A r t e m i s had c o m p o s e d h i m s e l f and sat on a bedside
euro. It funded the entire A r c t i c expedition.'
chair, holding his m o t h e r ' s hand gently as though it w e r e
put a p r i c e on life. Holly b a c k e d away from the human she
a bird. ' N o . I used to suffer from the occasional fit of pique, as
/WSA
Holly and Foaly w e r e speechless. A r t e m i s had effectively
/WNA
/VWV
/VSAA
had only m o m e n t s ago considered a friend.
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T rationalized the w h o l e thing. My father for a lemur. H o w could I n o t go through with it?' A r t e m i s had real r e g r e t in his eyes. 'I know. It was a t e r r i b l e thing to do. If
Foaly switched off the television so that A r t e m i s could not hear him. 'I know. If there is an outbreak, it could be disaster for fairies. We d o n ' t have any antidote left, r e m e m b e r . '
I could turn b a c k the c l o c k —' And suddenly he stopped. He couldn't turn b a c k the c l o c k , but he k n e w a d e m o n w a r l o c k w h o could. It was a
' W e n e e d t o i n t e r v i e w O p a l K o b o i . She must have kept records s o m e w h e r e . ' ' O p a l always kept h e r m o s t valuable formulae in h e r
chance. A chance. He laid his m o t h e r ' s hand gently on the b e d , then stood
head. I think she was caught off-guard by the j u n g l e fire — she lost all h e r donors in o n e fell swoop.'
to pace.
Koboi Industries had attracted the Madagascan lemurs by
Plotting music, he thought. / need plotting music. He selected Beethoven's Symphony N° 7 from his vast
setting a sonix b o x in theTsingy de Bemaraha. Virtually every
selection of m e n t a l music and listened to it as he thought.
lemur in the island had responded to the b o x ' s call and they had all b e e n wiped out by an unfortunate lightning fire.
Good choice. Sombre jet uplifting. Inspiring stuff. Artemis
paced
the
carpet,
a l m o s t unaware
o f his
surroundings, lost in ideas and possibilities. Holly recognized this m o o d .
Luckily, they had already treated m o s t of the infected, but fifteen m o r e fairies had died in quarantine wards. A r t e m i s stopped pacing and cleared his throat loudly.
' H e has a plan,' she said to Foaly.
He was ready to share his plan and he wanted the fairies'
T h e centaur pulled a long face, which wasn't difficult.
c o m p l e t e attention.
' W h y am I n o t surprised?' Holly t o o k advantage of Artemis's distraction to seal her helmet and speak privately to Foaly. She walked to the window and peered out at the estate through a gap in the curtains.
' T h e r e is a relatively simple solution to our problem,' he said. Foaly reactivated the television, his face filling the flat screen.
T h e sinking sun wavered behind tree branches, and clumps
'Our p r o b l e m ? '
of dahlias flashed red and white like fireworks.
' C o m e , Foaly, d o n ' t p r e t e n d to be o b t u s e . T h i s is a
Holly allowed h e r s e l f t i m e for a sigh of longing, then focused on the situation. ' T h e r e ' s m o r e at stake h e r e than Artemis's mother,' she said.
fairy plague that has m u t a t e d and spread to h u m a n s . You have n o a n t i d o t e and n o t i m e t o synthesize o n e . W h o k n o w s h o w m a n y cases o f S p e l l t r o p y are incubating r i g h t now.'
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Including my own, thought A r t e m i s . / used magic on my mother, so therefore I probably have the disease.
through j u s t to allow us to bring this issue to a Council meeting?'
' W e will quarantine the m a n o r / responded Foaly. ' S o
A r t e m i s wagged a finger dismissively. 'Irrelevant. I have
long as no one uses m a g i c on your m o t h e r we can contain
read the People's constitution. It does n o t govern humans
this/
o r d e m o n s . I f N u m b e r O n e decides t o help m e , techni-
'I seriously doubt that my m o t h e r is patient zero. T h a t is simply t o o m u c h of a c o i n c i d e n c e . T h e r e are o t h e r cases out there w h o knows h o w far along/ Foaly grunted — his version of conceding a point. ' S o , tell m e , A r t e m i s , what is this relatively simple solution?'
cally you have no legal p o w e r to stop him.' Holly j o i n e d the discussion. ' A r t e m i s , this is lunacy. T i m e travel was outlawed for a reason. T h e potential repercussions from the slightest interference could be catastrophic/ Artemis smiled mirthlessly. 'Ah yes, the trusty time paradox.
'I go back in time and save the lemur,' said Artemis,
If I go b a c k in time and kill my grandfather, then shall I cease
smiling brightly as though he had suggested a pleasant summer
to exist? I believe, as G o r b e n and Berndt did, that any reper-
dip.
cussions are already being felt. We can only change the future,
Silence. C o m p l e t e silence for several m o m e n t s , b r o k e n eventually by a strangled whinny from Foaly. ' G o b a c k . . .' 'In t i m e . . .' c o m p l e t e d Holly incredulously. A r t e m i s sat in a c o m f o r t a b l e armchair, steepled his fingers and nodded o n c e . ' P r e s e n t your arguments, please. I am ready.'
not the past or present. If I go back, then I have already b e e n back.' Holly spoke kindly; she felt sorry for Artemis. Angeline's illness reminded her painfully of her own mother's final days. ' W e cannot interfere, A r t e m i s . Humans must b e allowed to live their lives.' A r t e m i s k n e w that to r a m h o m e his n e x t argument he
' H o w can you be so smug?' w o n d e r e d Holly. 'After all
should stand and theatrically deliver the accusation, but he
the tragedy we have seen, after all the havoc your plans
could n o t . He was about to play the cruellest t r i c k of his
have wreaked.'
life on o n e of his closest friends, and the guilt was almost
' I a m d e t e r m i n e d , n o t smug,' c o r r e c t e d A r t e m i s . ' T h e r e is no t i m e for prudence h e r e . My m o t h e r has hours left, and the fairy People d o n ' t have m u c h m o r e . ' Foaly was still gaping. ' D o you have any idea h o w many constitution c o m m i t t e e m e e t i n g s we would have to sit
unbearable. 'You have already interfered, Holly,' he said, forcing himself t o m e e t h e r eyes. T h e words made Holly shiver. She buzzed up h e r visor. ' W h a t d o you m e a n ? '
/WW
A/WA
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74
'You healed my m o t h e r . Healed h e r and damned h e r /
is a n e w strain, then, yes, it's possible,' he admitted. ' B u t
Holly t o o k a step b a c k , raising h e r palms as though to
you can't draw any conclusions from supposition . . .'
ward off blows.
'Normally, I would agree. Normally, I would have the
' M e ? I . . . W h a t are you saying?'
luxuries of t i m e and objectivity. But my m o t h e r is dying
A r t e m i s was c o m m i t t e d to the lie now, and covered his
and so I have neither. I must go b a c k to save the lemur, and
guilt with a sudden burst of anger. 'You healed my m o t h e r after the siege. You must have given h e r Spelltropy.'
you are h o n o u r bound to help m e , and if you w o n ' t help, l hen at least you must promise n o t to hinder my efforts.' T h e fairies were silent. Holly was lost in thought about
Foaly c a m e t o his friend's d e f e n c e . ' N o t p o s s i b l e , that
what she might have done. Foaly was wracking his consider-
healing was years ago. S p e l l t r o p y has a t h r e e - m o n t h i n c u -
able brain for responses to Artemis's arguments. He found
b a t i o n p e r i o d and it n e v e r varies by m o r e than a few
none.
days.' 'And it never affects humans,' A r t e m i s c o u n t e r e d . 'This is a n e w strain. You have no idea what you're dealing with.'
Holly r e m o v e d h e r h e l m e t ,
walking awkwardly t o
Angeline Fowl's bedside. H e r legs felt strangely n u m b and the feeling was spreading.
Holly's face was slack with shock and guilt. She believed
' M y m o t h e r died — poisoned by humans. It was an acci-
Artemis's words, though A r t e m i s h i m s e l f k n e w that he must
dent, but that didn't keep her alive.' Tears dripped from her
have given his m o t h e r the disease when he adjusted h e r
eyes. 'I wanted to hunt those m e n down. I hated them.' Holly
memory.
wrung her hands. ' I ' m sorry, Artemis. I didn't know. H o w
Father must have it too. Who gave it to me? And why am I not sick? T h e r e w e r e so many puzzles but now was n o t the t i m e to unravel t h e m . Now he n e e d e d to find the antidote and, to ensure fairy aid, he must play on their supposed guilt in this matter. ' B u t I ' m clean,' protested Holly. T was tested.' ' T h e n you must be a carrier,' said Artemis flatly. He turned his gaze on the centaur's image. 'That's possible, isn't it?' Foaly was taken aback by Artemis's bluntness. ' I f this truly
many others have I infected? You must hate m e . ' Take it back, thought A r t e m i s . Tell the truth now or jour friendship can never be the same. T h e n , No. Be strong. Mother must live. T d o n ' t hate you, Holly,' said A r t e m i s softly. / hate myself, but the deception must continue. ' O f c o u r s e n o n e of this is your fault, but you must let me go back.' Holly nodded, then wiped h e r b r i m m i n g eyelids. T will do m o r e than let you g o , I will e s c o r t you. A sharp pair of eyes and a quick gun hand will prove useful.'
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76
' N o , n o , n o / shouted Foaly, increasing the screen's
'This t i m e you will succeed,' A r t e m i s assured him. 'You
volume with each negative. ' W e can't simply alter the past
w i l l have a live subject and laboratory conditions. You can
w h e n e v e r we feel like it. Perhaps Holly should save h e r
( l o n e a female.'
mother, o r bring C o m m a n d e r Julius R o o t b a c k from the dead! This is totally unacceptable.'
' C l o n i n g is illegal generally,' mused Foaly. ' B u t in e x t i n c lion cases e x c e p t i o n s have b e e n m a d e . . .'
A r t e m i s pointed a finger at him. 'This is a unique situa-
Holly's h e l m e t b e e p e d , drawing her attention to a craft
tion,' he said. 'You have a plague about to erupt and we can
landing in the driveway. She hurried to the window in time
stop it here. N o t only that but you can reintroduce a species
t c > see a slight shimmer cast a shadow on the moonlit driveway.
that was thought to be e x t i n c t . I may have caused one lemur
It must be a rookie pilot, thought Holly crossly. He hasn't
to die, but Opal K o b o i gathered the rest together for the
activated his shadow-lights.
lightning fire. T h e People are as guilty as I am.You harvested
' T h e shuttle's here,' she informed A r t e m i s .
a living creature's brain fluid to save yourselves.'
'Tell the pilot to park round the b a c k , in one of the
' W - w e w e r e desperate,' argued Foaly, horrified that he would actually stutter. 'Exactly,' said A r t e m i s triumphantly. 'You w e r e willing to do anything. R e m e m b e r h o w that felt and ask yourself if you want to go through it again.' Foaly dropped his gaze, thinking b a c k . T h a t t i m e had b e e n a waking nightmare for the fairies. T h e use of m a g i c
stables.The doctor's assistant is making calls from my father's office. I d o n ' t want h e r going for a walk and bumping into a shielded fairy craft.' Holly relayed the instructions, and they waited tensely lor the shuttle to m a n o e u v r e to the b a c k of the house. It s e e m e d like a long wait, silent but for the rasp of Angeline's laboured breathing.
had b e e n suspended and the lemurs w e r e already e x t i n c t
' N u m b e r O n e might n o t be able to do it,' said Foaly
by the t i m e a c o u r t o r d e r forced Opal to reveal the source
almost to himself. ' H e is a young w a r l o c k , with barely any
of h e r antidote. He had w o r k e d sleeplessly to develop an
training. T i m e travel is the m o s t difficult of magics.'
alternative cure, but without success. ' W e thought we w e r e invincible. T h e only disease left
A r t e m i s did n o t offer a c o m m e n t . T h e r e was no point. All his hopes rested o n N ° l .
was m a n . ' T h e centaur made up his m i n d . ' T h e l e m u r must
He does it, or Mother dies.
be alive,' he stated. ' T h e brain fluid can be stored for b r i e f
He t o o k Angeline's hand, stroking the rough p a r c h m e n t
periods, but o n c e it b e c o m e s i n e r t , the fluid is useless. I was developing a charged container but . . .'
skin with his thumb. ' H o l d on, Mother,' he whispered. 'I will only be a second.'
79
lives than negatives. R e s t r i c t i o n s imposed under the old tribal leader w e r e n o w being lifted. D e m o n s could eat c o o k e d food if they felt like it. Family units w e r e taking hold again. Even the m o s t belligerent d e m o n s w e r e a lot more relaxed with their m o t h e r s around. It was difficult
C H A P T E R 5:
I FLOW
PRonouncE Y O U
to shake off ten millennia of human-hating, and many of the b u c k d e m o n s w e r e undergoing therapy or w e r e on m o o d pills to stop t h e m hopping a shuttle to the surface Hid chomping on the first human limb they saw. N o t N ° l , though, w h o had n o l i m b - c h o m p i n g ambi-
^
:
f
J hi
Ju
f)
/
T H E little demon known a s N ° l c u t a s t r a n g e
tions whatsoever. He was something of an anomaly among
waddling down the L E P shuttle's gang-
d e m o n s . N ° l loved e v e r y o n e , even h u m a n s , especially
plank. A small, stocky individual with grey
Artemis Fowl, w h o had saved t h e m all from the deathly
armoured plates and short limbs, he looked a
dreariness o f L i m b o , n o t t o m e n t i o n L e o n A b b o t , the
figure
little like a miniature upright rhinoceros with fingers and t o e s , e x c e p t for the head. T h e head was pure gargoyle.
psychopathic e x - t r i b e leader. So w h e n the call c a m e through to Section Eight that
/ wish I had a tail, thought N ° l .
Artemis needed h i m , N ° l had strapped h i m s e l f into the
In actual fact, he did have a tail, but it was stubby and
division's shuttle and demanded to be taken above ground.
n o t g o o d for m u c h e x c e p t making snow fans in Haven City's
W i n g C o m m a n d e r Vinyaya had agreed, because disagreeing
artificial weather park.
could lead to all sorts of magical tantrums from the fledgling
N ° l consoled h i m s e l f with the observation that at least
warlock. O n c e , in a fit of frustration, N ° l had accidentally
his tail didn't dangle down the toilet. S o m e of the Hybras
shattered the magnifying wall of the city's huge aquarium.
d e m o n s had trouble adjusting to the newfangled seats on
Fairies w e r e still finding m i n n o w s in their toilet ponds.
the recycling lounges in Haven. He had heard h o r r o r stories. Apparently there had b e e n three e m e r g e n c y reattachments this m o n t h alone. T h e transition from L i m b o to n o r m a l t i m e had b e e n difficult for all d e m o n s , but there w e r e many m o r e posi-
You can go, Vinyaya had told h i m , but only if you take a squad of guards to hold your hand every step of the way. W h i c h did not literally mean hold his hand, as N ° l had found out when he tried to link with the captain of the guard. ' B u t C o m m a n d e r Vinyaya said,' he'd o b j e c t e d .
80
81
' S t o w the hand, d e m o n / o r d e r e d the captain. ' T h e r e ' l l be no hand-holding on my watch.' And s o N ° l appeared t o approach Fowl M a n o r alone,
' G o o d i d e a / said Miss B o o k doubtfully. 'I k n o w your m o t h e r ' s r o o m is sealed, but d o n ' t let him upstairs all the same.
though he was flanked by a dozen shielded fairies. Halfway up the avenue he r e m e m b e r e d to shroud his real appear-
' O f course n o t / said A r t e m i s . ' I ' l l send him out the b a c k \\ .iv.
ance with a shape-shifting spell. Any human w h o happened to be looking down the driveway would n o w see a small
1
' G o o d / said the nurse. 'I just n e e d a breath of fresh air, then I will c o m e to c h e c k on your mother.'
boy in flowing flowered r o b e s strolling towards the front
1
door. This was an image N ° l had seen in a human movie
/ designed a Jew of them, he thought.
from the last century, and he thought it was appropriately
As soon as Miss B o o k disappeared round the c o r n e r ,
non-threatening.
Arte
Miss B o o k happened to appear at the doorway j u s t as N ° l r e a c h e d it. T h e sight o f him stopped the n u r s e / p u b l i -
\<>ung lady tell you n o t to allow me upstairs?' Artemis sighed. ' H o w long have you k n o w n m e , N u m b e r I >nc?'
' H e l l o there, little b o y / she said, smiling, though she probably would n o t have b e e n so j o l l y had she b e e n aware
mis e s c o r t e d his d e m o n friend up the stairs.
' W e ' r e going upstairs/ o b j e c t e d N ° l mildly. ' D i d n ' t that
cist in h e r tracks. She tugged off h e r glasses as though they w e r e feeding false information to h e r eyes.
fake your t i m e / said Artemis. 'I can read the instruments.'
N ° l nodded craftily. 'Ah, I see. A r t e m i s Fowl never does
what he is told to do.'
of the twelve plasma rifles pointed at h e r head. ' H i / said N ° l cheerily. ' I love everyone, s o n o n e e d t o feel threatened.'
I l o l l y g r e e t e d N ° l on the landing, but refused to hug him u n t i l he dropped the shape-shifting spell.
Miss B o o k ' s smiled faltered. ' T h r e a t e n e d ? O f course n o t . Are you looking for s o m e o n e ? Are you playing dress-up?'
'I hate the feel of those things/ she said. 'It's like hugging a wet sponge.'
A r t e m i s appeared at t h e doorway, i n t e r r u p t i n g the conversation.
N ° l pouted. ' B u t I enjoy being Ferdinand. Humans smile .it
me.'
' Ah . . . Ferdinand, w h e r e have you b e e n ? ' he said, quickly
A r t e m i s assured him that there was no surveillance in
shepherding N ° l past the nurse. 'This is the gardener's boy,
h i s study and so the d e m o n w a r l o c k waited until the d o o r
Ferdinand/ he explained. 'A dramatic type. I'll s u m m o n his
w a s closed behind t h e m , then banished the spell with a
father to c o l l e c t him.'
I l i c k of his fingers. Ferdinand unravelled and fell from N ° l s
/WSA
/WSA
4ito«6^to(V03^^a
83
82
body in a flurry of sparks, leaving the small grey d e m o n
on one of your missions. A lot of hopes rest on that little
w a r l o c k wearing nothing but a wide grin.
d e m o n . T h e future of the fairy families.' ' N o n e of us will have a future if N u m b e r O n e d o e s n ' t
Holly hugged him tightly. T k n e w you would c o m e . We n e e d you desperately/
L i k e us t o the past.'
'Please stop,' said N ° l . 'All this arguing is making me
N ° l stopped smiling. ' Ah, yes. Artemis's m o t h e r . D o e s she want a magical c u r e ? '
dizzy. T h e r e is no t i m e for it.' A r t e m i s ' s face was r e d , b u t he held his t o n g u e , unlike
T h a t ' s the last thing she wants,' said Holly.
I (>aly w h o k e p t shouting, b u t at least he m u t e d the s c r e e n s . 'Foaly needs to vent,' e x p l a i n e d Holly, ' o r he gets
O n c e the situation was explained t o N ° l , h e immediately agreed to help.
headaches.'
'You are in luck, A r t e m i s , ' said the little d e m o n , wiggling
T h e three waited until the centaur calmed himself, then
his eight fingers. T did a m o d u l e on t i m e travel last w e e k
N ° l spoke: 'In any event, I cannot go with you, A r t e m i s .
on the w a r l o c k diploma c o u r s e I ' m taking.'
That's n o t h o w it works.'
'Small class, I bet,' c o m m e n t e d A r t e m i s drily.
' B u t you transported us from Limbo.'
'Just m e , ' admitted N ° l . 'And Q w a n , o f c o u r s e , m y
' Q w a n did that. He is a master; I am but an apprentice.
teacher. Apparently, I am the m o s t powerful w a r l o c k Q w a n
And, anyway, we had no desire to go back to L i m b o . If you
has ever seen.'
wish to r e t u r n here, I n e e d to stay as a marker.' 'Explain,' said A r t e m i s tersely.
' G o o d , ' said A r t e m i s . ' T h e n transporting us all into the
N ° l spread his arms wide. 'I am a beacon,' he declared.
past shouldn't pose any p r o b l e m s for you.' Foaly had p r o j e c t e d h i m s e l f on to five of Artemis's various
4
A shining supernova of power. Any m a g i c I release into
m o n i t o r s . 'All?' spluttered each image. 'All! You c a n ' t take
the e t h e r will be attracted b a c k to m e . I send you into the
N u m b e r O n e with you.'
past, and you will snap b a c k to me like puppies on a leash.'
A r t e m i s was n o t in the m o o d for argument. T n e e d h i m , Foaly. E n d of discussion.'
N ° l frowned, n o t happy with his simile. ' O n e o f those retractable leashes.' ' Y e s , we get it,' said A r t e m i s . ' H o w long will it take to
Foaly l o o k e d as though his head would bulge through the screens. 'It is m o s t certainly n o t end of discussion. Holly
weave the spell?' N ° l c h e w e d his lip for a m o m e n t . ' A b o u t as long as it
is an adult — she can m a k e h e r own decision — but N u m b e r O n e is little m o r e than a child. You cannot jeopardize him
lakes you t w o to r e m o v e your clothing.'
vAAA
AAAA
AAAA
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84
'Hurkk,' said A r t e m i s , half-choking with surprise.
I lolly c o v e r e d h e r e m b a r r a s s m e n t by tearing off h e r
' D ' A r v i t , ' swore Holly.
s h i m m e r suit as quickly as possible.
T think we all k n o w what D ' A r v i t means,' said N ° l .
' I ' m keeping the one-piece,' she said belligerently, daring
' B u t hurkk is n o t English. Unless you m e a n t hark, which
N ° l to argue. T h e one-piece l o o k e d similar to a swimsuit,
means to listen or to remember something from the past. W h i c h
but was padded on the shoulders and b a c k to support a
I suppose could be relevant. Or perhaps you w e r e speaking
wing rig. T h e r e w e r e also heat and kinetic panels, which
D u t c h , and then hurk would translate as squat.' N ° l paused
could absorb energy from the w e a r e r to p o w e r the suit.
for a wink. ' W h i c h means squat to m e . '
' O K , ' said N ° l . ' B u t I would advise you to r e m o v e the
A r t e m i s leaned close to the demon's cornet-shaped ear. ' W h y do we n e e d to take our clothes off?' ' T h a t is a very g o o d question,' said Holly into the o t h e r ear.
|>
and any o t h e r electronics.'
Holly nodded, tearing the pads from their Velcro strips. A r t e m i s gathered Holly's things. T will put your h e l m e t and suit in the safe, j u s t to be
'It's quite simple,' said N ° l . T am n o t so skilled as Q w a n . And even with Q w a n overseeing the last transfer, you t w o
certain they are secure. No n e e d to take chances with the I Vople's technology.'
managed to switch an eye each, which was probably because
' N o w you're thinking like a centaur,' Foaly piped up.
s o m e o n e was focusing on stealing m a g i c . If you take clothes
It t o o k only a m i n u t e to hide the fairy gear, and w h e n
or guns in t h e r e , they could b e c o m e a part of you.' T h e
he returned from the safe r o o m , A r t e m i s t o o k off his shirt
d e m o n raised a stiff finger. 'Lesson n u m b e r one of t i m e
and trousers carefully, hanging t h e m in his w a r d r o b e . He
transfers,' he stated. ' K e e p it simple. It's going to take all
placed his loafers on a shoe r a c k alongside several similar
of your c o n c e n t r a t i o n j u s t to reassemble your bodies. And
black pairs, and one b r o w n , for casual days.
you will be thinking for the l e m u r too.'
' N i c e underwear,' s n i c k e r e d Foaly from the s c r e e n ,
N ° l n o t i c e d b o t h A r t e m i s and Holly's awkward expressions and t o o k pity on t h e m .
m o m e n t a r i l y forgetting the gravity of the situation. A r t e m i s was wearing a pair of red A r m a n i b o x e r shorts,
T suppose you could keep one thing, if you must. A small g a r m e n t , but m a k e sure it's your colour, because you could be wearing it for a really long time.'
which w e r e pretty m u c h the same c o l o u r as his face. ' C a n we get on with it?' he snapped. ' W h e r e do you need us to stand?'
T h o u g h they b o t h k n e w that this was no t i m e for
' W h e r e v e r you n e e d t o be,' replied N ° l simply. 'It's far
modesty, neither A r t e m i s n o r Holly could suppress a blush.
easier for me if you take off and land at the same point.
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It's hard enough shooting you off down a w o r m h o l e faster
Hie N u m b e r O n e cocktail if you like, w h i c h makes you a
than the speed of light without worrying about location
beacon in the t i m e stream.'
too.'
Artemis shuffled self-consciously. ' H o w long do we have?'
' W e are in the right location,' said A r t e m i s . ' T h i s is w h e r e w e n e e d t o be.' 'You n e e d to k n o w when you want to arrive,' added N ° l . 'The
temporal
N ° l gazed at the ceiling while he ran some calculations. 1
co-ordinates
are
as i m p o r t a n t as the
geographical ones.'
I hree hundred years . . . N o , n o , three days. Holly can bring
you back at any point before that simply by making herself o| >cn to my power, but after three days the link grows weaker.' 'Is there anything we can do about that?'
'I k n o w when.'
' L e t ' s face facts: all-powerful I may b e , but I ' m a novice
'Very well,' said N ° l , rubbing his hands together. ' T i m e to send you on your way.'
.it this, so taking off from w h e r e you landed is vital. If you go beyond three days, then you are stuck in the past.'
Holly r e m e m b e r e d something. 'I haven't c o m p l e t e d the Ritual,' she said. ' I ' m l o w on m a g i c , and without weapons that could be a p r o b l e m . We d o n ' t have an acorn.'
' I f we do get separated, couldn't Holly c o m e b a c k and get m e ? ' w o n d e r e d A r t e m i s . ' N o , she could not,' said N ° l . 'It would b e impossible
' N o t to m e n t i o n a b e n d in the river,' added A r t e m i s .
for you to m e e t at a point neither of you had e x p e r i e n c e d .
N°l
This is a o n e - t i m e deal only. It will take everything I have
smirked.
'Those
things
could
be
problems.
Unless . . .' A spiral r u n e on the d e m o n ' s forehead glowed r e d and spun like a Catherine w h e e l . It was hypnotizing.
to hold you t o g e t h e r for this trip. Any m o r e and your atoms would lose their m e m o r y and simply forget w h e r e it is they are supposed to go. B o t h of you have already b e e n in the
'Wow,' said Holly. 'That's really . . .'
time stream t w i c e . I can transport objects forever and a
T h e n a pulsing b e a m of c r i m s o n m a g i c blasted from the
day, but living beings b r e a k down without a w a r l o c k in the
c e n t r e of the r u n e , enveloping Holly in a c o c o o n of light. ' N o w you're full t o the b r i m , ' said N ° l , bowing low. ' T h a n k you very m u c h . I ' m h e r e all w e e k . D o n ' t forget to tip your goblins and bury those acorns.' 'Wow,' said Holly again, w h e n h e r fingertips stopped buzzing. 'That's a neat trick.' ' M o r e than you know. That's my own signature m a g i c .
stream to shield them.' Holly asked a very p e r t i n e n t question. ' N u m b e r O n e , have you done this b e f o r e ? ' ' O f course,' said the d e m o n . 'Several times. On a simulator. And t w o of the holograms survived.' A r t e m i s ' s determination barely flickered. ' T w o survived. T h e last t w o ? '
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' N o , ' admitted N ° l . T h e last t w o w e r e trapped i n a t i m e w o r m h o l e and c o n s u m e d by quantum zombies.' Holly felt h e r pointy ears tingle, always a bad sign. Elfin
Artemis blinked. H e was expecting N ° l ' s voice o f p o w e r to be a bit less squeaky. 'Are you sure?' N ° l groaned. 'I know. It's the voice, isn't it? N o t enough
ears could sense danger. ' Q u a n t u m zombies? You're n o t serious.'
gravel. Q w a n says I should go for less airy and m o r e fairy.
'That's what I said to Q w a n . He w r o t e the program.'
Trust m e , I ' m ready. N o w hold hands.'
'This is irrelevant,' said A r t e m i s sharply. ' W e have no
Artemis and Holly stood together in their underwear, Bllgerly locking fingers. T h e y had crossed space and time
option but to go.' 'Very well,' said N ° l , flexing his fingers. He b e n t his
l o o ether, weathered rebellions and tangled with demented
k n e e s , resting his entire body weight on the tip of his tail.
| Ic spots. Coughed blood, lost digits, inhaled dwarf fumes and
' P o w e r posture,' he explained. 'I do s o m e of my best
iwapped eyeballs, yet they found holding hands awkward. N ° l k n e w he shouldn't, but he couldn't resist a parting
w o r k in this position.' ' S o does M u l c h Diggums,' m u t t e r e d Foaly. ' Q u a n t u m zombies. I n e e d to get a copy of that program.' A red haze b l o s s o m e d around the d e m o n w a r l o c k , tiny
crack. 'I n o w p r o n o u n c e you . . .' Neither hand-holder was amused, but before they had lime to do m o r e than scowl, twin bolts of red energy
lightning bolts crackling across his horns. 'He's powering up,' said Foaly from the screens. ' Y o u ' l l be off any second. R e m e m b e r , try n o t to t o u c h anything you don't have to. D o n ' t talk to anyone. D o n ' t c o n t a c t me
Crackled from N ° l ' s eyes, blasting his friends into the t i m e stream. ' M a n and elf,' he said, finishing his j o k e , then chuckling delightedly.
in the past. I have no desire n o t to exist.' A r t e m i s n o d d e d . 'I know. M a k e as little i m p a c t as possible, in case the t i m e paradox t h e o r y has s o m e m e r i t . ' Holly was impatient to get going. 'Enough science. J u s t blast us into the past. W e ' l l bring the m o n k e y back.'
On screen, Foaly snorted. ' I ' m guessing you're laughing to cover your anxiety?' ' E x a c t l y right,' said N ° l . W h e r e A r t e m i s and Holly had b e e n standing there w e r e
'Lemur,' said A r t e m i s and Foaly together.
Nickering copies o f t h e m b o t h , mouths open t o o b j e c t t o
N ° l closed his eyes. W h e n h e o p e n e d t h e m again, they
N ° l ' s comment. ' T h a t really freaks me out, the ghost images. It's like
w e r e pure c r i m s o n . ' O K , ready to go,' he said conversationally.
/vw\
/vw\
they're dead.'
90
Foaly shuddered. ' D o n ' t say that. If they're dead, we all could b e . H o w soon will they b e b a c k ? ' Tn about ten seconds.' 'And if they're n o t b a c k in ten seconds?' ' T h e n never.' Foaly started counting.
C H A P T E R 6: I TO
THERE
I
is a m o m e n t o f confusion when
a land animal enters the water. Beast, human or fairy, it d o e s n ' t matter. T h e surface is b r o k e n and every sense is suddenly shocked. T h e cold stings, m o t i o n slows and the eyes are filled with smears o f c o l o u r and the snap o f bursting bubbles. T h e t i m e stream is like that m o m e n t sustained. That's n o t to say that travelling through the t i m e stream is a consistent e x p e r i e n c e . N e v e r the same j o u r n e y t w i c e . T h e d e m o n w a r l o c k Q w a n , w h o was the planet's m o s t e x p e r i e n c e d time-travelling fairy, w r o t e in his bestselling autobiography, Qwan: My Time is Now, that 'riding the t i m e stream is like flying through a dwarf's intestine. T h e r e are very nice free-flowing stretches, but then you turn a c o r n e r to find the thing backed-up and putrid. T h e p r o b l e m being that the t i m e stream is largely an emotional c o n s t r u c t , and it absorbs a m b i e n t feelings from the real t i m e it flows around. If you happen across a stretch of foul-smelling gunk, you can b e t that the humans are killing s o m e t h i n g . ' A r t e m i s and Holly w e r e being dragged through a foul-
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92
smelling stretch that corresponded with an entire ecosystem
of where and w h e n she was. She stood shakily and l o o k e d
being destroyed in South A m e r i c a . T h e y could sense the
a round h e r to find A r t e m i s lurching towards the w a r d r o b e .
animals' t e r r o r and even smell the charred w o o d . Artemis
The sight of him c h e e r e d h e r a little.
felt, t o o , that Holly was losing h e r s e l f in the maelstrom of
'You have really let y o u r s e l f go,' she said.
emotions. Fairies w e r e so m u c h m o r e sensitive to their envi-
A r t e m i s was r u m m a g i n g through the clothes on the rail.
r o n m e n t s than humans. If Holly lost concentration, h e r
' O f course nothing will fit,' he m u t t e r e d . 'All t o o small.'
atoms would dissipate and be absorbed by the stream.
Holly elbowed past him. ' N o t for m e , ' she said, pulling
Focus, Holly, A r t e m i s broadcast into the stream. Remember who you are and why we are here.
.v dark suit from its hanger. ' M y first suit,' said A r t e m i s fondly. ' F o r the family
It was difficult for t h e m b o t h . T h e i r particle m e m o r y
Christmas postcard. I had no idea really h o w to wear it. I
had already b e e n weakened by the L i m b o j o u r n e y s and the
r e m e m b e r fidgeting throughout the fitting. It's a Zegna
temptation to m e l d with the stream was strong.
bespoke.'
A r t e m i s conjured a picture of his m o t h e r in his consciousness to b o l s t e r his determination. / know when and where I want to be, he thought. Exactly when and where . . .
Holly t o r e off a protective polythene wrap. ' S o long as h (its.' It was only then that Artemis's e m o t i o n s settled enough for him to register Holly's c o m m e n t . ' W h a t do you m e a n I have let m y s e l f g o ? ' Holly swung the wardrobe's door, so that its m i r r o r e d
F O W L HIAIIOR, IIEARLY E i G H T YEARS AGO
side faced A r t e m i s . ' S e e for yourself,' she said.
A r t e m i s and Holly e x i t e d the t i m e stream and e n t e r e d ten-
A r t e m i s l o o k e d . In the m i r r o r he saw a tall, slender boy,
year-old Artemis's study. Physically, this was a gentle enough
his head all but invisible under a wild m o p of shoulder-
e x p e r i e n c e , like j u m p i n g from a low wall on to thick carpet,
length hair, and even s o m e bristles on his chin.
but emotionally this particular trip was like a ten-minute
'Ah. I see.'
blitz o f the w o r s t m e m o r i e s o f their lives. T h e t i m e stream:
' I ' m surprised you do,' said Holly. ' T h r o u g h all that hair.'
never the same ride t w i c e .
' A c c e l e r a t e d ageing. A side effect of the t i m e stream,'
Holly cried for h e r m o t h e r for a m i n u t e , but eventually
A r t e m i s hypothesized, u n c o n c e r n e d . ' W h e n w e r e t u r n , the
the persistent chiming of a grandfather c l o c k r e m i n d e d h e r
effects should be reversed.' He paused, catching sight of
M & •» ^ b ^ •& ^ 8 /WVA.
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Holly's reflection. 'Perhaps you should c h e c k yourself in the mirror. I am n o t the only one w h o has changed.'
l
A hat would be easier,' said Holly, pulling the wig over
her auburn c r e w - c u t .
Holly elbowed him aside, certain she was being kidded,
' N o such luck, I ' m afraid,' sighed A r t e m i s , selecting an
b u t the half-smile died on h e r lips w h e n she saw the fairy
o l d tracksuit from the b o x . 'This is n o t exactly Harrods;
in the looking glass. It was h e r own face, but different,
we will have to m a k e do.'
missing a few scars and a few decades' wear and tear.
Artemis's old loafers fitted Holly well enough, and there
'I am young,' she gasped. 'Younger.'
was a pair of his father's trainers in the b o x that stayed on
' D o n ' t be upset,' said A r t e m i s briskly. 'It is temporary.
his feet when the toes w e r e stuffed.
All this is nothing m o r e than dress-up. My physical maturity, your youth. In a m o m e n t or t w o we will be b a c k in the stream.'
'Always
good
to be
dressed w h e n y o u ' r e
stealing
monkeys,' said Holly. A r t e m i s rolled up the tracksuit sleeves. ' T h e r e ' s no n e e d
But Holly was upset. She k n e w h o w this had happened.
lo dress at all really. We simply wait for a few minutes until
/ was thinking of Mother. Of our last hours together. Of how
my m o t h e r almost catches B u t l e r sneaking upstairs with
I was then.
I he lemur. I r e m e m b e r him sliding the cage through the
And so that was h o w she had changed.
doorway, then I brought it b a c k upstairs. T h e m o m e n t that
Look at me. Just out of the Academy. In human terms, barely
cage c o m e s in h e r e , we grab it, take off these ridiculous
older than Artemis.
( l o t h e s and wish our way b a c k to N u m b e r O n e . '
F o r s o m e reason, this was a disturbing thought. ' G e t some trousers on,' she snapped, buttoning a crisp white shirt to her n e c k . ' T h e n we can discuss your theories.' A r t e m i s used his e x t r a inches to r e a c h up and tug a large b o x from the top of the wardrobe. In it w e r e neatly folded
Holly c h e c k e d h e r s e l f in the mirror. She l o o k e d like a presidential bodyguard from another planet. ' T h a t sounds so simple.' 'It was simple. W i l l b e . B u t l e r never even e n t e r e d the study. All we n e e d to do is stand h e r e and wait.'
layers of clothes destined for one of Angeline Fowl's charity
'And h o w did you find this particular m o m e n t ? '
shops.
A r t e m i s swept a sheaf of black hair b a c k from his brow,
He tossed a silver wig to Holly.
revealing m i s m a t c h e d sorrowful eyes.
'Seventies fancy-dress party,' he explained. ' M o t h e r w e n t
'Listen,' he said, pointing upwards, towards the ceiling.
as a star-ship trooper, I s e e m to r e m e m b e r . N o w cover
Holly tucked strands of silver hair behind one ear, cocking
those pointy ears.'
/WW
her head to one side to focus h e r considerable sense of
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97
hearing. She heard the grandfather c l o c k , and the t i m e trave l l e r s ' beating hearts, but above t h e m there was a strident, hysterical voice.
I>l meeting him a r m e d with nothing m o r e than a silver wig.' l
C a l m yourself, Captain,' said A r t e m i s , unconsciously
patronizing. ' H e stays outside. I saw it with my own eyes.'
'Mother,' said A r t e m i s , eyes downcast. Tt was the first
'Saw what with your own eyes?' asked Butler, w h o had
t i m e that she did n o t recognize m e . She is at this m o m e n t
appeared in the archway behind t h e m , having let h i m s e l f
threatening to call the police. In a m o m e n t she runs down-
In through the adjoining b e d r o o m door.
stairs to the phone and discovers Butler.'
Artemis felt his pulse throb in his fingertips. H o w could
Holly u n d e r s t o o d . H o w c o u l d any son forget a m o m e n t
I his be? This was n o t the way it happened. A r t e m i s had
like that one? Finding it again m u s t have b e e n easy and
Hever b e e n on the receiving end of Butler's glare before,
painful.
and understood for the first t i m e j u s t h o w terrifying his
T r e m e m b e r it clearly. We had just r e t u r n e d from Rathdown Park, the private zoo, and I thought I should c h e c k
bodyguard could b e . 1
You t w o kids have b e e n helping yourselves to the Fowl
how she was feeling before flying to M o r o c c o . In a m o n t h
wardrobe I see,' continued Butler, without waiting for an
from n o w she w o n ' t be able to look after herself any more.'
answer to his question. 'Now, are you going to cause a fuss
Holly squeezed his forearm. 'It's fine, A r t e m i s . This is
or are you going to c o m e quietly? L e t me give you a hint,
all in the past. In a few minutes your m o t h e r will be b a c k on h e r feet. She will love you as she always has.'
the c o r r e c t answer is come quietly/ Magic is the only way out, Holly realized.
A r t e m i s nodded glumly. He k n e w it was probably t r u e , but he also k n e w that he would never fully escape the spectre of this bad m e m o r y .
She twisted h e r chin sharply to call on h e r fairy power. II she couldn't stun Butler, she would m e s m e r i z e h i m . 'Stand down, human,' she i n t o n e d , voice loaded with
Upstairs, Angeline Fowl's voice moved from her bed-
hypnotic m a g i c . B u t the mesmer is a two-pronged attack,
chamber to the upper landing, trailing shrill notes behind her.
audio and visual. B u t l e r could hear the magical words but
A r t e m i s pulled Holly b a c k against the wall.
eye c o n t a c t was n o t consistent in the shadows.
' B u t l e r will be on the stairs now. We should keep to the shadows just in case.'
' W h a t ? ' he said, surprised. ' H o w did you . . .' T h e hulking bodyguard had b e e n drugged enough times
Holly couldn't help a flutter of nerves. 'You're sure he
to realize that his will was being sapped. S o m e h o w these
stays outside? T h e last t i m e I faced B u t l e r as an enemy, I
kids w e r e putting him under. He staggered backwards, his
had the entire L E P on my side. I d o n ' t relish the thought
shoulder bashing against the arch.
/VWV
/VW\
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98
'Sleep, Butler,' said the little one in the star-ship-trooper wig.
T h e o t h e r intruder did n o t m o v e an inch. The little girl is the professional of the two, thought Butler,
She knows me?
(limbing to his feet. / wonder what this scruffj individual
This was serious. T h e s e t w o had done s o m e surveillance
contributes to the partnership.
and decided to b r e a k in anyway. / have to neutralize them before I pass out, thought Butler. If I go down, Master Artemis and Mrs Fowl are defenceless. He had t w o options: fall on the midget burglars, or shoot
Artemis quickly saw that he had no c h o i c e but to reveal his identity and enlist B u t l e r as an ally. This will be difficult. I have nothing more than a passing resemblance to my younger self as proof.
t h e m with the tranquillizer pistol he was carrying for the
Still, he had to try before his plan unravelled utterly.
planned animal abduction at Rathdown Park.
' L i s t e n , B u t l e r , ' h e b e g a n . ' I have s o m e t h i n g t o t e l l
H e c h o s e t h e s e c o n d o p t i o n . A t least tranquillizer darts
vou . . .'
would not smother these two or crush their bones. Butler
B u t l e r didn't entertain another word. ' N o , n o , no,' he
felt m i l d l y guilty a b o u t his d e c i s i o n to t r a n k a c o u p l e of
said briskly, shooting A r t e m i s in the shoulder. ' N o m o r e
kids, b u t n o t overly s o ; after all, h e w o r k e d for A r t e m i s
talking from either of you.'
F o w l and k n e w e x a c t l y h o w d a n g e r o u s c h i l d r e n c o u l d
A r t e m i s pulled out the dart, but it was t o o late. T h e tiny r e s e r v o i r of sedative was empty.
be. T h e star-ship t r o o p e r c a m e out of the shadows, and B u t l e r could see h e r eyes clearly. O n e blue, one tawny. 'Sleep, Butler,' she said again, in that melodious layered
' B u t l e r ! ' he gasped, dropping to his knees. 'You shot m e . ' ' E v e r y o n e k n o w s my n a m e , ' sighed the bodyguard, bending to sling the intruders over his shoulders.
voice. 'Aren't jour ejelids heavj? Sleep. She's hypnotizing me! B u t l e r realized. He dragged out the
'I am intrigued,' said ten-year-old A r t e m i s Fowl, studying
pistol with fingers that felt as though they had b e e n dipped
the two individuals in the Bentley's b o o t . 'Something extra-
in m o l t e n rubber, then sprinkled with ball bearings.
ordinary has happened here.'
'You sleep,' he m u m b l e d , then shot the girl in the hip. Holly stared in disbelief at the h y p o d e r m i c dart sticking out o f h e r leg. ' N o t again,' she m o a n e d , then collapsed to the floor. Butler's head cleared immediately.
'Hardly extraordinary,' said Butler, checking the girl's pulse. ' T w o thieves s o m e h o w b r o k e into the manor.' ' T h e y bypassed all the security. N o t so m u c h as a blip on the m o t i o n sensors?' 'Nothing. I j u s t happened on t h e m during a routine
'VVAA
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101
sweep. Hiding in the shadows, wearing cast-offs from the
in several forms of martial arts, n o n e of t h e m had a m o n k e y
wardrobe.'
defence.'
A r t e m i s tapped his chin. ' H m m . S o , you didn't find their clothes.'
'It's a lemur, Butler. And I am aware that you believe this operation is beneath us, but my father's life is at stake.'
' N o t a stitch.'
' O f c o u r s e , A r t e m i s . W h a t e v e r you say.'
' W h i c h would m e a n that they b r o k e in here and bypassed
' E x a c t l y . S o , h e r e i s the plan. W e will p r o c e e d t o
security in their underwear.'
Rathdown Park as planned and after we have done the deal
' T h a t is extraordinary,' admitted Butler.
with the Extinctionists, then I can decide what to do with
A r t e m i s t o o k a penlight from his j a c k e t p o c k e t , shining
our two guests. I p r e s u m e they will be safe in the b o o t ? '
it on Holly, setting the strands of h e r silver wig sparkling
B u t l e r s n o r t e d . ' A r e you kidding?'
like a disco ball. ' T h e r e ' s something about this o n e . H e r
A r t e m i s did n o t smile. 'Perhaps you have n o t n o t i c e d ,
b o n e structure is very unusual. T h e c h e e k b o n e s are high — Slavic, perhaps — and the b r o w is wide and childlike. B u t the p r o p o r t i o n of skull to t o r s o is adult, n o t infant.'
Butler. I rarely kid.' 'As you say, young master. You are n o t a kidder. Maybe some day, e h ? '
B u t l e r c h u c k l e d l o w in his throat. ' S o , they're aliens?'
'Perhaps w h e n I find my father.'
' T h e young m a n is human, but she's something else,'
'Yes. Perhaps then. Anyway, to answer your question.
said A r t e m i s thoughtfully. ' G e n e t i c a l l y enhanced, perhaps.'
This is yourfather's car and there have b e e n m o r e prisoners
H e m o v e d the b e a m o f light along h e r c h e e k b o n e . ' S e e
in this b o o t than you've had birthdays. Mafiya,Triad,Yakuza,
h e r e . T h e ears are pointed. Amazing.'
Tijuana C a r t e l , Hell's Angels. You n a m e the gang and a
A r t e m i s felt an e x c i t e m e n t buzzing on his forehead.
couple of t h e m have spent a night in this b o o t . In fact, your
S o m e t h i n g was happening h e r e . S o m e t h i n g i m p o r t a n t .
lather had it specially modified. T h e r e ' s air-conditioning, a
T h e r e w e r e surely serious amounts o f m o n e y t o b e earned
stay-cool light, soft suspension and even drinking water.'
from this situation. He rubbed his palms briskly. 'Very well. I cannot be
'Is it secure? R e m e m b e r our captives already b r o k e into the manor.'
distracted by this now. L o n g - t e r m , this strange creature could
B u t l e r closed the b o o t . ' T i t a n i u m l o c k , reinforced door.
make our fortune, but right n o w we need to get that lemur.'
No way out whatsoever. T h o s e t w o are staying in there until
B u t l e r was crestfallen, but covered it by slamming the b o o t . T had hoped we could forget the monkey. I was trained
we let t h e m out.' ' E x c e l l e n t , ' said A r t e m i s , sliding into the Bentley's rear
103
102
seat. ' J u s t give me a m o m e n t to do this o n e little thing,
( i n o m m i s h , in case the car was bugged. ' I ' m h e r e . W h e r e
then let's forget about t h e m and c o n c e n t r a t e on the lemur.'
e l s e could I be?'
' E x c e l l e n t , ' e c h o e d Butler, and then under his breath: ' M o n k e y business. My favourite.'
Artemis shifted on to his side, flicking back the dense black lair obscuring his features, and spoke in the fairy tongue. ' W e r e c e i v e d the same dosage of tranquillizer, and yet y o u , the lighter p e r s o n , are awake first. M a g i c ? '
RATHDown PARK, C O U H T Y Wiciaow, IRELAHD
T h e side of Holly's face was thrown into deep shadow by the bubble light. 'Yes. N u m b e r O n e ' s signature m a g i c
Even though Holly was five kilograms lighter than A r t e m i s ,
is powerful stuff.'
she c a m e to h e r senses b e f o r e h i m . She was glad to be
'Powerful enough to g e t us out of h e r e ? '
awake, as h e r dream had b e e n t e r r i b l e . W h i l e asleep, h e r
Holly spent a m i n u t e e x p l o r i n g the b o o t ' s surface,
knees and elbows had s t r u c k the m e t a l walls of the Bentley's
running h e r fingertips along each weld in the m e t a l . Finally,
b o o t and she'd imagined h e r s e l f in an L E P submarine.
she shook h e r head, silver wig sparkling. ' N o t a weak spot
Holly lay huddled in the dark, swallowing and blinking t o c o n q u e r the phobia. H e r m o t h e r had b e e n m o r t a l l y injured in a m e t a l b o x , and n o w she was inside o n e .
I can find. Even the air-conditioning vent is c o m p l e t e l y Hush. No way out.' ' O f c o u r s e not,' said A r t e m i s . ' W e ' r e inside the Bentley.
And it was thoughts of h e r m o t h e r that finally c a l m e d
The b o o t is a steel b o x with a titanium l o c k . ' He breathed
Holly. She o p e n e d h e r eyes, and e x p l o r e d the confined space
the c o o l air deeply. ' H o w can this have happened? Everything
with h e r vision and fingertips. It didn't take long to find
is different. B u t l e r was supposed to have deposited the cage
the bubble light set into the steel wall. She snapped it on
in my study. Instead he creeps in through the b e d r o o m and
to find A r t e m i s stretched out beside h e r and the sloping
sedates us b o t h . N o w we d o n ' t k n o w w h e r e we are, or
m e t a l sheeting of a b o o t d o o r curling down past his a r m .
indeed w h e r e the l e m u r is. Do they have it already?'
H e r own b o r r o w e d shoes rested on the shining curve of a w h e e l arch. T h e y w e r e inside a vehicle. A r t e m i s groaned, t w i t c h e d and o p e n e d his eyes. ' S e l l the P h o n e t i x shares,' he b l u r t e d , then r e m e m b e r e d B u t l e r and the darts. 'Holly. Holly?' Holly patted his leg. 'It's O K , A r t e m i s , ' she said in
Holly pressed o n e ear to the b o o t door. 'I can tell you w h e r e we are.' O u t s i d e , the sounds of snuffling and snoring animals drifted on the air. ' W e ' r e close to animals. A park I would guess, or a zoo.' ' R a t h d o w n Park,' e x c l a i m e d A r t e m i s . 'And that fact tells
105
104
us they do n o t , in fact, have the lemur. T h e schedule and situation have changed.'
Artemis's smile was smug beyond belief. ' J u s t h o w large ll your pension?'
Holly was thoughtful. ' W e are n o t in c o n t r o l of this situ-
'1 do n o t believe it. I refuse to believe it. It is impossible.'
ation any m o r e , A r t e m i s . Perhaps it's t i m e to admit defeat
More taps on the door now, followed by a delicate scraping
and r e t u r n h o m e w h e n your younger self brings us b a c k to the manor. Perhaps you can discover a cure in the future.' Artemis had been expecting this suggestion. 'I considered that. T h e lemur is still our best option and we are m e t r e s away from it. Just give me five minutes to get us out of here.' Holly was understandably dubious. 'Five minutes? Even
a n d a m u t e d swear word. 1
W h a t a guttural voice,' said A r t e m i s . 'Very like a dwarf's.' It could be Butler,' argued Holly, irritated by A r t e m i s ' s
Self-satisfied expression. 'Swearing in G n o m m i s h . Hardly.' M o r e m e t a l l i c noises from the outside world.
the great A r t e m i s Fowl might have trouble breaking out of
Shhhnick. Chunk. Clackack.
a steel b o x in five minutes.'
A n d the b o o t ' s lid swung upwards, revealing a slice of
A r t e m i s closed his eyes, concentrating. Trying to ignore
starry
night with the glinting silhouette o f a gigantic pylon
his c r a m p e d surroundings and the sheaves of hair brushing
I tehind it. A bedraggled head popped into the space, features
his c h e e k s , and the itch of bristles on his chin.
smeared with m u d and w o r s e . This was a face that only a
' F a c e it, A r t e m i s , ' said Holly impatiently. ' W e ' r e stuck.
mother could love, and then perhaps only if h e r sight w e r e
Even M u l c h Diggums would probably struggle with a l o c k
I a i l i n g . D a r k , close-set eyes p e e r e d out from above a dense
like that if he happened to stroll by.'
heard that shivered slightly like seaweed in a c u r r e n t . T h e
A r t e m i s ' s b r o w flickered, irritated by this interruption,
creature's t e e t h w e r e large, square and n o t made any m o r e
but then a smile spread across his face, made e e r i e by the
appealing by the large insect wriggling b e t w e e n t w o m o l a r s .
stark lighting. ' M u l c h Diggums strolling by,' he whispered. ' W h a t are the chances o f that?' ' Z e r o , ' said Holly. 'Absolutely n o n e . I would b e t my pension on it.' At that m o m e n t something or s o m e o n e tapped on the b o o t door, from the outside. Holly rolled h e r eyes. ' N o . N o t even you . . .'
It was, of c o u r s e , M u l c h Diggums. T h e d w a r f snagged the unfortunate i n s e c t w i t h his tongue, then chewed it delicately. ' G r o u n d b e e t l e , ' he said with relish. 'Leistus montanus. Nice b o u q u e t , solid earthy shell, then, o n c e the carapace ( r a c k s , a veritable explosion of flavours on the palate.' He swallowed the unfortunate creature, then funnelled a mighty burp though his flapping lips.
AAAA
AAAA
106
107
'Never burp when you're tunnelling,' he advised Artemis and Holly, as casually as though they were sitting round a cafe table. ' D i r t coming down, air coming up. N o t a good idea.' Holly k n e w M u l c h well. This chit-chat was simply for distraction while he t o o k a p e e k around. 'And now, to business,' said the dwarf finally, discarding the dead beard hair he had used to pick the l o c k . 'I seem to have a human and an e l f trapped in a car. So I ask myself, should I let ' e m out?' 'And what do you answer yourself?' asked A r t e m i s with barely contained impatience.
Holly c l a m b e r e d over A r t e m i s to the fresh air. She gulped down great gasps, chest out, face to the sky. 'Sorry,' she said, b e t w e e n breaths. ' T h a t space is tiny. I don't like tiny.' 'Claustrophobic?' asked A r t e m i s , rolling from the b o o t . Holly nodded. 'I used to b e . I thought I had o v e r c o m e it. Lately, though . . .' T h e r e was a c o m m o t i o n in the dwarf hole. A blue r i o t of swearing and a scuffling in the earth. Holly quickly recovered herself and leaped into the pit, tackling Mulch before he could unhinge his jaw and disappear.
Mulch's black pebble eyes danced in the moonlight. ' S o ,
' H e could be useful,' she grunted, bundling the protesting
the M u d Boy understands G n o m m i s h . Interesting. W e l l ,
dwarf up the incline. 'And he has already seen us, so the
understand this, human. I l e t you out as soon as I get my
damage has b e e n done.'
money.' Ah, thought Holly. There is money involved. Somehow these two have set up a deal. Holly had endured h e r prison for long enough. Mulch is not yet my friend, she thought, 50 there's no need to be polite. She drew a k n e e to h e r chin, tugging on it with b o t h hands for an e x t r a pound of elastic force. M u l c h realized what she was a b o u t to do. 'Hey, elf. No - '
'That's a pincer hold,' e x c l a i m e d M u l c h . 'You're LEP.' He twisted round, snagging Holly's wig with his beard hair. 'I know you. Holly S h o r t . Captain Holly S h o r t . O n e of Julius R o o t ' s pet R o t t w e i l e r s . ' Suddenly the dwarf's already creased b r o w wrinkled further in confusion. ' B u t this is impossible.' Before A r t e m i s could instruct Holly n o t to ask, she w e n t ahead and did it. ' W h y is it impossible, M u l c h ? '
W h i c h was as far as he g o t before his face was batted
M u l c h did n o t reply, but his eyes betrayed h i m , glancing
with the b o o t door. T h e dwarf t u m b l e d backwards into the
guiltily over his shoulder at a scuffed Tekfab b a c k p a c k .
hole he had climbed out of, sending up an oof of wind and
Holly deftly spun the dwarf round, opening the bag's main
dirt.
compartment.
109
108
' Q u i t e a treasure trove we have h e r e / she said, rummaging
( )mnitool and it was g o n e . T h e target was apprehended by
in the backpack. 'Medi-kit, rations, adhesive corn-pads. And
Iuimans, I lost my first fugitive and C o m m a n d e r R o o t had
look, an old O m n i t o o l . ' T h e n she recognized the inscrip-
to send in an entire t e a m of techies to clean up. It was a
tion laser-etched into the base. 'It's my old O m n i t o o l . '
disaster. And all this t i m e it was you.'
In spite of their years of friendship, Holly t u r n e d the full force of h e r anger on M u l c h . ' W h e r e did you get this?' she shouted. ' H o w did you get it?' 'A present,' offered Mulch lamely. ' F r o m my . . . eh . . .' He squinted to read the writing on the base. ' F r o m my mother. She always called me Holly, because of my, e r m , prickly personality.' Holly was angrier than A r t e m i s had ever seen her. 'Tell m e , Diggums. T h e truth!'
M u l c h was puzzled. 'All this t i m e ? I stole this from a
belt
in a l o c k e r i n T a r a an hour ago. I saw you there. W h a t ' s
inning on h e r e . . .' T h e n M u l c h blinked and clapped his hairy palms. ' O h , bless my bum-flap.You're t i m e travellers.' H o l l y realized that she had said t o o m u c h . ' T h a t ' s ridiculous.' T h e dwarf was actually doing a little jig now. ' N o . N o , 11 all adds up. You're talking about future events in the past t e n s e . You sent b a c k a n o t e so that I would c o m e and rescue y o u here and now.' M u l c h clapped his hands to his cheeks
M u l c h thought about fighting. It was in the curve of his
in m o c k horror. ' W h a t you're doing is so m u c h m o r e illegal
fingers and the baring of his t e e t h , but the m o m e n t passed
t h a n anything I could ever do. Imagine the reward I would
quickly and the dwarf's natural passive nature surfaced.
get for turning you over to Julius R o o t . '
T stole all this stuff from Tar a,' he admitted. ' I ' m a thief, aren't I? B u t , in my defence, I had a difficult childhood,
' S e n t b a c k a n o t e ? ' scoffed Holly. 'That's absurd, isn't it, A r t e m i s ? '
which led to low self-esteem, which I projected on to others,
' M o s t certainly,' said A r t e m i s . ' B u t , i f s o m e o n e w e r e t o
and punished t h e m by stealing their possessions. S o , in a
lend back a n o t e from the future, w h e r e and when would
very real way, I am the victim here. And / forgive me'
t h e y send it t o ? '
Mulch's trademark waffle reminded Holly of the friend
M u l c h j e r k e d a thumb towards Holly. ' T h e r e ' s a j u n c -
he would b e c o m e and her anger evaporated as quickly as it
t i o n b o x beside h e r locker. L o o k e d like it hadn't b e e n
had appeared. She traced the laser inscription with a fingertip.
touched for years. I was checking it out because s o m e t i m e s
' M y m o t h e r gave me this,' she said quietly. ' M o s t reli-
they have s o m e valuable t e c h in ' e m . N o t this o n e , though,
able O m n i t o o l I ever had. T h e n , one night in Hamburg,
just an envelope addressed to m e . And inside a n o t e asking
my fugitive l o c k e d h i m s e l f in a car. So I reached for my
me to c o m e to this place and set you free.'
III
no
A r t e m i s smiled. Satisfied. 'I imagine there was an incen-
Mulch nodded as though lemur-napping was the m o s t natural thing in the world.
tive offered for our r e s c u e ? ' Mulch's beard hair crackled. 'A large incentive. No . . .
'And from w h o m are we stealing it?' 'From me.'
a stupendous incentive.'
Mulch frowned, then the penny dropped. 'Ah . . . T i m e
'Stupendous, eh? Very well, you shall have it.'
travel throws up all sorts of twists, doesn't it?'
' W h e n ? ' asked M u l c h hungrily. ' S o o n . I j u s t n e e d you to do me one m o r e favour.' 'I k n e w it,' said the dwarf, through grinding t e e t h . 'Never
I lolly slipped the O m n i t o o l into h e r p o c k e t . 'Tell me i b o u t it,' she said.
do the j o b until you see the cash. W h y should I trust you?' A r t e m i s t o o k a step forward, eyes n a r r o w behind a curtain of dark hair. 'You d o n ' t n e e d to trust m e , M u l c h . You n e e d to be afraid of m e . I am a M u d Boy from your future and I could be in your past t o o , if you c h o o s e not to c o o p e r a t e . I found you o n c e , I could certainly do it again. T h e n e x t t i m e you break into a car b o o t , there could be a gun and a badge waiting for you.' M u l c h felt apprehension tingling in his beard hair, and his beard hair was rarely wrong. As his g r a n d m o t h e r used to say: Trust the hair, Mulch. Trust the hair. This human was dangerous, and he had enough trouble in his life already. ' O K , M u d Boy,' he said grudgingly. ' O n e m o r e favour. And then you'd b e t t e r have a stupendous a m o u n t of gold for m e . ' 'I will. Fear n o t , my pungent friend.' T h e dwarf was deeply offended. ' D o n ' t call me friend. J u s t tell m e . W h a t . You. W a n t . D o n e . ' 'Simply follow your nature and dig us a tunnel. I need to steal a lemur.'
/WW
/WSA
/WSA
/VWA
A/SAA
/WSA
/VWWNA
/WSA
113 4
I wouldn't be able to hit an elephant with one of Butler's
pistols even if I had one.' 'Elephants are n o t the quarry this evening,' said A r t e m i s , *.|h\iking in English, n o w that they w e r e out of the b o o t . I emurs are. At any rate, as we could hardly shoot at our
TALK TO THE AniftiALS
C H A P T E R 7:
opponent on this particular adventure, perhaps it's b e t t e r lli.it we are unarmed.' 4
N o t really,' said Holly. T may n o t be able to shoot you
m the lemur, but I b e t that m o r e opponents will turn up. You have a knack of making enemies.' RATH DOWN
PARK
Artemis shrugged. 'Genius inspires r e s e n t m e n t . A sad fact of life.'
THE >
:
^ pI
F o w l B e n t l e y was p r o t e c t e d by a
fingerprint
^tOl
an
scanner and a keypad that required
eight-digit c o d e . T h e code was changed every m o n t h , and so it t o o k A r t e m i s a few
seconds
to
mentally
rewind
almost
eight
years
and
r e m e m b e r the right set o f n u m b e r s . He slid across the front seat's tan leather upholstery and
'Genius and robbing stuff,' M u l c h c h i m e d from his p e r c h on the lip of the car b o o t . 'Take it from one w h o knows: n o b o d y likes a smart thief.' Artemis d r u m m e d his fingers on the fender. 4
We have certain advantages. Elfin magic. Digging talents.
I have almost eight years' e x p e r i e n c e in the art of m i s c h i e f making that the o t h e r A r t e m i s does n o t have.'
pressed his thumb to a second scanner t u c k e d behind the
' M i s c h i e f making?' scoffed Holly. T think you're being
steering w h e e l . A spring-loaded c o m p a r t m e n t slid smoothly
i little gentle on yourself. Grand larceny is closer to the
from the dash. It was n o t a large c o m p a r t m e n t , but big
mark.'
enough to hold a clip of cash, platinum credit cards and a spare m o b i l e phone in its cradle. ' N o gun?' asked Holly w h e n A r t e m i s e m e r g e d from the
Artemis stopped drumming. ' O n e of your fairy powers ' L speaking in tongues, c o r r e c t ? ' T m talking t o you, aren't I?' responded Holly.
car, though one of Butler's guns would be clunky in h e r
4
fingers.
I lolly smiled. She k n e w Artemis's devious mind well
' N o gun,' confirmed A r t e m i s .
Just h o w many tongues can you speak in?'
< nough to realize exactly w h e r e he was going with this.
115
114
But at h e a r t Holly was an adventurer, so the idea of quit-
'As many as you w a n t / ' G o o d / said A r t e m i s . ' W e n e e d to split up. You take the overground r o u t e into Rathdown Park, M u l c h and I travel underground. If we n e e d a distraction, use your gift/
ting never even o c c u r r e d to her. It was difficult to operate mechanisms while shielded, so I lolly
powered down for the few seconds necessary to j i m m y
'It would be a pleasure,' said Holly, and immediately
the door with her O m n i t o o l . It was an old m o d e l , but Holly's
t u r n e d translucent as though she w e r e a creature of purest
mother had paid an extra few ingots for upgrades. T h e stan-
water. T h e last thing to go was h e r smile.
dard O m n i t o o l would open any door operating on a simple mechanical lock-and-key system. This one could short elec-
Just like the Cheshire Cat. He r e m e m b e r e d a few lines from Alice's Adventures in
tronic
locks t o o , and even deactivate simple alarms.
But that shouldn't be necessary, she thought. As Jar as Artemis
Wonderland. 1
'But I don't want to go among mad people, said Alice. 'Oh,you can't help that', said the cat. 'We're all mad here.' A r t e m i s glanced at the pungent dwarf searching his living beard for stored insects. We're all mad here too, he thought.
icmembers, he turned off all the alarms. The thought didn't give h e r m u c h c o m f o r t . A r t e m i s had been w r o n g about this trip already. In less than five seconds, the O m n i t o o l had done its j o b a n d vibrated gently like a cat purring at its own cleverness. I he heavy d o o r swung open silently under the lightest t o u c h
Holly approached the main d o o r of Rathdown Park with care even though she was shielded. T h e People had thought themselves invisible to B u t l e r o n c e before and had paid with trauma and bruises. She would n o t underestimate the bodyguard, and the fact that he was o n c e again h e r e n e m y set h e r stomach churning with nervous acid. T h e human clothes j u m p e d and scratched along h e r
a n d Holly buzzed up h e r shield again. Stepping into Rathdown Park, Holly felt m o r e mission anxiety than she had in years. I'm a rookie again. Some kid straight out of the Academy, she realized. My mind is experienced, but my body is overruling it. And then: / better get this monkey quick before adolescence kicks in.
frame. T h e y w e r e n o t built for shielding and in a m a t t e r of minutes they would shake to pieces.
Young Artemis had turned off the security on his way into
my Neutrino, she thought, looking at the reinforced-
die institute. It had been an easy thing to bypass all the alarms
steel door, with the dark unknown beyond it. And I miss
with the director's key card. Earlier in the day, when he had
Foaly and his satellite link-ups.
been given the guided tour, he had posed several complicated
/ 217255
116
117
questions on the validity of the theory of evolution. T h e
Row (hat Father was missing. T h e r e was m u c h to be inves-
director, a c o m m i t t e d evolutionist, had allowed his arguments
iM'.HRD
here.
to distract him long enough to have his pocket picked by
The button c a m e r a was broadcasting to his m o b i l e phone
Butler. O n c e the key card was in the bodyguard's possession,
Ifld ten-year-old A r t e m i s c h e c k e d the screen occasionally
he simply slotted it into a battery-powered Card Cloner in
•
his breast pocket, and whistled a few bars of Mozart to cover
l< mur's cage.
the whirr of the machine. Two minutes later all the information they needed was
Butler guided him through Rathdown Park towards the
l o c u s , A r t e m i s , ' chided the bodyguard. ' O n e dastardly I nine
at a time.'
stored in the C l o n e r ' s m e m o r y , the director's card was back
Artemis glanced up from his phone. 'Dastardly, Butler?
in his p o c k e t and A r t e m i s suddenly decided that maybe
bastardly? Honestly, we are n o t c a r t o o n characters. I do
evolution wasn't a bad t h e o r y after all.
flot have a villainous laugh or an eyepatch.'
' T h o u g h t h e r e are m o r e h o l e s in it than a D u t c h dam m a d e o f Swiss c h e e s e , ' he'd confided t o B u t l e r o n the way h o m e from R a t h d o w n Park. B u t l e r had b e e n e n c o u r -
'Not yet. T h o u g h you'll have an eyepatch soon enough il you don't c o n c e n t r a t e on the j o b at hand.' They
were
passing
underneath
Rathdown
Park's
aged by this s t a t e m e n t . It was a l m o s t a straightforward
JKjuarium through a p e r s p e x tunnel that allowed scientists
joke.
.in
Later that evening young A r t e m i s had popped a button c a m e r a into the air-con duct at the rear of the Bentley.
*ln million-gallon tank. T h e tank m i m i c k e d the inhabitants' natural environment as far as possible. Different c o m p a r t -
All the better to keep an eye on our guests.
n in its had different temperatures and different vegetation.
T h e female was interesting. Fascinating, actually.The darts
Nome were saltwater, others w e r e fresh, but all housed
would wear off soon and it would be intriguing to watch
» I m Lingered or rare creatures.
h e r reaction, m u c h m o r e so than that of the hirsute teenager,
Tiny bulbs dotted the ceiling above, simulating stars,
even though his broad forehead suggested intelligence and
. u i ( I the only o t h e r light c a m e from the b i o l u m i n e s c e n c e
his general features had a lot in c o m m o n with the Fowl
of a lantern shark, which shadowed A r t e m i s and B u t l e r
family's own. In fact, he reminded A r t e m i s of an old photo
along the tunnel until its snout b u m p e d p e r s p e x .
he had o n c e seen of his father as a boy, working on an archaeological dig in South A m e r i c a . Perhaps the male captive was a distant cousin hoping to claim s o m e kind of birthright
Artemis was m o r e interested in his m o b i l e phone than the shark's eerily glowing photophores. Events were unfolding on his screen that were close to
119
118
Keeping one eye on his p h o n e , A r t e m i s called to his
incredible. Artemis stopped in his tracks to fully absorb what
bodyguard.
he was seeing.
Under, old friend. Slight change of plan.'
T h e Fowl M a n o r intruders had escaped the Bentley's b o o t with the help of an a c c o m p l i c e . A n o t h e r non-human.
I he bodyguard k n e w b e t t e r than to hope the l e m u r hunt
/ am entering a new world here. These creatures are potentially
w ... o f f . ' W e ' r e still on the trail of a little creature, though,
more lucrative than a lemur. Should I abandon this venture and
bet.'
I II
( realures,' said ten-year-old A r t e m i s . 'Plural.'
concentrate on the non-humans? A r t e m i s m a x i m i z e d the volume on his handset but the tiny m i c r o p h o n e attached to the b u t t o n c a m e r a could only
I < mii n v n - y e a r - o l d A r t e m i s was n o t enjoying the view. To
pick up snatches of the conversation.
distract himself he c o m p o s e d a haiku describing the sight
It was mostly in s o m e alien t o n g u e , b u t s o m e of the
before him.
talk was in English and he heard the w o r d lemur m o r e than Pale, shuddering globes
once.
Churn their poisonous cargo
Perhaps this lemur is more valuable than I realized. The animal
Bald heads in a bag
is the bait that lures these creatures in. A minute passed with only the small, revolting dwarf-
Diggums was n o t feeling quite so p o e t i c . H e stopped
like thing in the screen, perching its disproportionately large
Muleh
backside on the r i m of the b o o t , then the female appeared,
digging and rehinged his jaw.
only to promptly disappear — Rathdown Park's famous pylons
1
Could you please stop shining the t o r c h on my back-
M
filling the screen w h e r e she had b e e n .
icnsitive, even to artificial light.'
A r t e m i s tightened his grip on the phone. Invisibility? The energy involved in creating a reflective field,
Artemis had taken the t o r c h from the Bentley's breakdown kit, and was following M u l c h through a fresh tunnel
or to generate high-speed vibration, must be incredible. He quickly navigated the phone's m e n u and activated
to the lemur's cage. T h e dwarf had assured him that the
the digital t h e r m a l imager, a decidedly non-standard option,
tunnel was sufficiently short for him to hold in the dirt and
and was relieved to see the female creature's f o r m blossom
air until they reached the other end, making it safe for
on screen in w a r m tones.
Artemis to be directly behind him. A r t e m i s averted the t o r c h for a few seconds, thinking
Good. Not gone, just hard to see.
^^•AWbWb&<&k>'W4b*b>W
^•^^•^Abb^&^^^A&bO^* AAAA
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that a b u m blister was the last thing he wanted to see, but after a while the b e a m strayed b a c k to the pale, wobbling
The dwarf p e e r e d over his shoulders, eyes red in the glow of his spittle. 'Just h o w close do we b e c o m e ? '
flesh o n c e m o r e . 'Just a quick question. If you can hold in all the diggings, then why does your bum-flap n e e d to be o p e n ? ' M u l c h was spitting large wads of dwarf phlegm on to the wall to shore up the tunnel. 'In case of emergency,' he explained. T could swallow a buried lug of m e t a l , or strip of old tyre. Now, those I would have to evacuate on the spot, annoying M u d Boy to the rear or n o t . No sense in ruining my trousers t o o , n o w is t h e r e , dopey?'
Very close. We g e t an a p a r t m e n t t o g e t h e r and after a u I MI I wind courtship you m a r r y my sister and h o n e y m o o n in Vegas.' 'I love Vegas,' said M u l c h wistfully. T h e n : ' S u c h snide \\ it
I can see h o w we might be friends. All the same, keep
\ o m c o m m e n t s t o y o u r s e l f o r w e might have t o see h o w I in my you are covered in tunnel waste.' Artemis swallowed hard and m o v e d the t o r c h b e a m away l o m Mulch's behind. T h e plan was a simple one. T h e y would tunnel beneath
'I suppose not,' said A r t e m i s , thinking that with such a
tin compound and wait b e l o w the lemur's cage for Holly to
w i d e - b o r e loaded weapon pointed at him he could bear
• o n t a c t them on the short-range L E P adhesive communi-
being called dopey.
» at < >i stuck to Artemis's c h e e k — part of Mulch's stash. F r o m
'Anyway,' continued the dwarf, hawking another wad at
that point forward, the plan b e c a m e fluid. Either they would
the wall, 'you should consider y o u r s e l f privileged. N o t
| H ) | ) u p and grab the lemur while Holly caused consterna-
many humans have seen a dwarf working with spit. This is
tion
what you might call an ancient art. First you —'
Pecured the lemur, Mulch would dig a hole under Butler,
'I know, I know,' interrupted A r t e m i s impatiently. 'First you excavate, then you strengthen the walls with your spittle, which hardens on c o n t a c t with the air, provided it's out of your m o u t h , obviously. And it's luminous t o o — amazing material.' Mulch's behind w o b b l e d in surprise. ' H o w do you k n o w these secrets?' 'You told m e , o r rather you will tell m e . T i m e travel, remember?'
among the animals, or, i f young Artemis had already
making it easier for Holly to relieve the boy of his prize. MI very straightforward, thought A r t e m i s . Which is unusual /<>/ me. ' O K , Mud Boy,' said Mulch, scooping a bulb-shaped hollow With his flat fingers. ' W e are here. X marks the monkey.' ' L e m u r , ' c o r r e c t e d A r t e m i s automatically. ' A r e you pertain you can distinguish this particular animal's scent
From all the others?' Mulch held a hand to his heart in m o c k affront. 'I? Certain?
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I am a dwarf, human. A dwarf nose can tell the difference
I" i voice. T h e ad-com was only sophisticated enough to
b e t w e e n grass and clover. B e t w e e n b l a c k hair and b r o w n .
produce r o b o t i c t o n e s .
B e t w e e n dog p o o and w o l f poo.'
In position. Over.'
A r t e m i s groaned. T shall take that as a yes.' 'And so you should. K e e p this up and I may c h o o s e n o t to m a r r y your sister.'
Artemis placed a finger on the communicator, completing the circuit that allowed him to speak. ' R e c e i v e d . We are directly b e l o w the target's cage. Can
Tf I had a sister, I ' m sure she would be inconsolable.' T h e y crouched in the hollow for several minutes, the park's night-time growls and snores drifting down through the clay. By some curious anomaly, o n c e the sounds penetrated the tunnel's coating of dwarf spittle, they were trapped inside and bounced off the walls in conflicting waves. Artemis felt as though he were literally in the lion's den. As if this wasn't disturbing enough, he n o t i c e d that Mulch's cheeks w e r e glowing bright pink. All of t h e m . ' P r o b l e m s ? ' he asked, unable to mask a nervous t r e m o r . 'I've b e e n holding in this gas for a long time,' replied
\<>u see the opposition?' 'Negative. No visual. B u t I do see the lemur. He seems to be asleep on a l o w b r a n c h . I can reach him easily.' 'Negative, Holly. Hold your position. We will secure the target. You watch for my younger self.' 4
U n d e r s t o o d . D o n ' t hang around, Arty. G e t up, g e t down
.ii i< I back to the car.' Arty? Artemis was surprised that Holly would call him that. It was his m o t h e r ' s p e t n a m e for h i m . G o t it. U p , down and back.'
the dwarf through c l e n c h e d t e e t h . 'It's c o m i n g out soon.
Arty?
You got any sinus p r o b l e m s ? '
Mulch tapped him urgently on the shoulder. ' W h e n e v e r
A r t e m i s shook his head.
r
you're ready, M u d Boy. Now would be great.'
'Pity,' said M u l c h . 'This would have cleared t h e m right up.'
'Very well. P r o c e e d . Try to be quiet.' Mulch changed position, pointing the c r o w n of his head
If it w a s n ' t for A r t e m i s ' s d e t e r m i n a t i o n to save his mother, he would have b o l t e d right then.
.M the tunnel roof, squatting l o w on his haunches. ' T o o late for quiet,' he g r u n t e d . 'Pull your j a c k e t over
Luckily for A r t e m i s ' s nasal passages, Holly b e e p e d him
your face.'
on the a d - c o m . T h e c o m m u n i c a t o r was a basic vibration
A r t e m i s barely had t i m e to do what he'd b e e n asked
m o d e l that sent signals directly to A r t e m i s ' s ear without
when M u l c h released a thundering cylinder of gas and
any e x t e r n a l noise. A r t e m i s heard Holly's words but n o t
earth, spraying the boy with undigested clods. T h e shell of
/VW\
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dwarf spittle c r a c k e d in a thousand places and M u l c h was
through to the surface.
sit in t h e o b s e r v e r ' s chair e a r l i e r that day.
\i i« i i i i s
b o r n e aloft by a churning pillar of f o r c e , easily punching
N o m e day you could run the hide's thermal-imaging • itnera and all this e q u i p m e n t from that chair,' he had said.
O n c e the dust had settled s o m e w h a t , A r t e m i s scram-
'Perhaps s o o n e r than that,' A r t e m i s had replied.
bled after him into the cage. M u l c h had pinballed off a low
< >li dear,' said Butler, the phrase sounding over-delicate
ceiling and was u n c o n s c i o u s , b l o o d matting his already
H i his j • i .welly voice. ' T h a t must have really hurt.' He reached
tangled hair, his bum-flap fluttering like a windsock while
Into his p o c k e t for the dart gun. 'I b e t t e r lend a hand or
the r e m a i n d e r of the tunnel waste escaped.
It least a dart.'
Low cage ceiling?
Butler had b e e n busy with his darts. Two night w o r k e r s
T h e l e m u r in the n e x t cage s e e m e d highly amused by all the c o m m o t i o n and hopped up and down on a truncated branch wedged b e t w e e n the bars.
unconscious on cots at the rear of the hide. Through the slot w i n d o w they had a clear view of the iM.IIe
The next cage, realized A r t e m i s . We are not in the lemur's cage. What cage are we in?
intruder being shaken like a rag doll by an e n o r m o u s
IN >I ilia.The cage's third occupant had collapsed and appeared to be w r a c k e d by an e n e r g e t i c b o u t of flatulence.
B e f o r e he could had t i m e to investigate, his c h e e k b e e p e d and an emotionless r o b o t i c voice droned into his ear. ' G e t M u l c h out o f t h e r e , Arty. G e t b a c k down now.' What is it? w o n d e r e d A r t e m i s . What's in this cage?
Incredible, thought A r t e m i s . This day is full of surprises. I le tapped a few keys on the c o m p u t e r keyboard before h i i n , redirecting the c o m p o u n d ' s thermal-imaging c a m e r a . C
T h e n a t w o - h u n d r e d - k i l o Ugandan m o u n t a i n gorilla crashed into h i m , leaving the thought behind like a speech bubble.
I d o n ' t think a dart will be necessary,' he said. 'Help is
already on the way.' Sure enough, a red-hearted glow b o u n c e d across the cobbled walkway, hovering before the gorilla cage. ' N o w this should be interesting,' mused ten-year-old
Y o u n g A r t e m i s and B u t l e r w e r e w a t c h i n g all o f this
Artemis.
t h r o u g h t h e slot w i n d o w s of a camouflaged hide that sat in front of t h e c a g e s . T h e hide had b e e n built inside a
Holly was forced into action. She had b e e n discreetly t u c k e d
r o c k e r y and w a t e r feature and allowed c l o s e study o f the
away behind the broad trunk of an i m p o r t e d baobab t r e e ,
various animals w i t h o u t disturbing t h e natural r h y t h m s
shield off, conserving m a g i c , keeping an eye out for young
o f t h e i r day. T h e d i r e c t o r had b e e n kind e n o u g h t o l e t
A r t e m i s , w h e n M u l c h b l e w a hole in the earth into the
/V\AA
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127
I . I | M - i o help, i f h e deigned t o help a h u m a n stranger.
wrong cage. He e x p l o d e d from the ground in a mini-
Anyway, it was i m m a t e r i a l : a m o m e n t or t w o would be
c y c l o n e of debris, b o u n c e d off a few surfaces like a cartoon pinball and collapsed on to the cage floor.
loo late lor A r t e m i s .
T h e cage's resident, a black-and-grey bull gorilla, shot
I he O m n i t o o l b e e p e d and the cage d o o r swung open.
straight up, w o k e n from deep sleep. Its eyes w e r e wide but
\ narrow walkway e x t e n d e d from the footpath, crossing a
blurred, its t e e t h yellow and bared. Stay down, Artemis, she thought. Stay in the hole. No such luck. A r t e m i s c l a m b e r e d to the surface, care-
I
ii and slotting into grooves on the habitat floor. I l o l l y charged across w i t h o u t hesitation, waving h e r
H i n s , shouting, making h e r s e l f a target.
fully navigating the simple climb. T h e t i m e stream had n o t
The gorilla huffed and s n o r t e d , gathering A r t e m i s close
granted him any agility. As A r t e m i s often said, the physical
i n its chest — warning Holly t o stay b a c k . A r t e m i s ' s head
was n o t his area.
Hopped on his shoulders and his eyes w e r e half closed.
Holly t h u m b e d h e r a d - c o m . ' G e t M u l c h out o f t h e r e , A r t y / she shouted. ' G e t b a c k down now.' It was t o o l a t e . T h e gorilla had decided these n e w c o m e r s
I lolly stopped three m e t r e s from the animal, lowering h e i arms and gaze. A non-threatening stance. The gorilla m a d e a few fake attacks, thundering to half a m e t r e o f Holly, then c o n t e m p t u o u s l y turning
w e r e a threat to be dealt with. It rolled from its nest of
within
leaves and bark, landing on eight k n u c k l e s , the i m p a c t
i l s b a c k , all the w h i l e g r u n t i n g and b a r k i n g , pressing
sending a j a r r i n g wave along its a r m hair.
Artemis to its c h e s t . A r t e m i s ' s hair was slicked b a c k with
Holly buzzed up h e r shield as she ran, silver strands
blood and a c r i m s o n t r i c k l e leaked from the c o r n e r of his
floating behind h e r as the wig fell apart, marking h e r trail.
left eye. O n e a r m was b r o k e n and b l o o d p o u c h e d the
T h e gorilla attacked, grabbing a surprised A r t e m i s Fowl by the shoulders, roaring in his face, head b a c k , t e e t h like a b e a r trap. Holly was at the gate, p o w e r i n g d o w n , pulling the
sleeve of his tracksuit. Holly was shocked. Appalled. She felt like crying and running away. H e r friend was injured, possibly dead. Get a grip! she told herself. You are older than you look.
O m n i t o o l from h e r p o c k e t , jabbing the business end into
O n e of the fairy magical powers was the gift of tongues
the l o c k . She surveyed the scene inside the cage while she
and this encompassed a rudimentary grasp of s o m e of the
waited for the t o o l to w o r k .
m o r e sophisticated animal tongues. She would never be
M u l c h was up and on his e l b o w s now, shaking a g r o g g y h e a d . It w o u l d be a m o m e n t or t w o b e f o r e he was in any
discussing global w a r m i n g with a dolphin, but she k n e w enough for basic c o m m u n i c a t i o n .
AAAA
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W i t h g o r i l l a s it was as m u c h a b o u t b o d y language as w h a t w a s a c t u a l l y said.
H o l l y s q u a t t e d low,
elbows
Mid llattened grass. In m o m e n t s , the animal had disappeared deep into the dark recesses of its artificial habitat.
c r o o k e d , k n u c k l e s o n t h e e a r t h , spine c u r v e d f o r w a r d .
fearful gibberings floated from the upper canopy.
T h e p o s t u r e o f a f r i e n d , t h e n funnelled h e r lips and
I lolly would feel bad later for putting the beast under
h o o t e d several t i m e s . 'Danger!' t h e h o o t s said. 'Danger is
i spell, b u t n o w t h e r e was n o t a h e a r t b e a t to waste on
near!'
guilt. A r t e m i s was grievously injured, perhaps m o r t a l l y so. The gorilla had dropped A r t e m i s like a carcass that had
T h e gorilla did a c o m i c a l double-take, amazed to hear gorilla-speak c o m i n g from this creature. It sensed a t r i c k
been picked clean. He lay t h e r e , still as the dead.
but was n o t sure what that t r i c k might b e . And, w h e n in
No. Dont think that.
doubt, beat your chest.
I lolly raced to h e r friend's side, skidding the final m e t r e
T h e gorilla dropped A r t e m i s , stood tall on t w o feet,
<>n her k n e e s .
thrusting forward chin and p e c t o r a l s , and began beating its
Too Jar gone. He's too Jar gone.
chest with open palms.
Artemis's face was pale as b o n e . His long black hair was
/ am king here. Do not trifle with me, was the clear message.
matted with b l o o d and the whites of his eyes w e r e twin
A wise s e n t i m e n t indeed, but Holly had no c h o i c e .
erescents through h o o d e d lids.
She darted forward, hooting all the t i m e , throwing in the odd terrified s c r e e c h , and then, against the advice of every wildlife e x p e r t w h o ever held a steadi-cam, she looked directly into the animal's eyes.
'Mother,' he said, the w o r d riding on a breath. Holly r e a c h e d out h e r hands, m a g i c already dancing on her fingertips, shooting off in arcs like tiny sun flares. She froze before the m a g i c could m a k e the j u m p to
'Leopard,' she h o o t e d , layering h e r voice with the fairy mesmer. 'Leopard!'
Artemis's body. If I heal Artemis, will I also damn him? Is my magic tainted
T h e gorilla's fury was replaced by dull confusion, which
with Spelltropy?
was in turn pushed aside by terror.
A r t e m i s thrashed weakly and Holly could actually hear
'Leopard!' Holly h o o t e d . 'Climb!'
bones grating in his sleeve. T h e r e was blood on his lips n o w
Moving with less than its customary g r a c e , the gorilla
too.
stumbled towards the rear of the cage, moving as though
He will die ij I dont help. At least ij I heal him there is a chance.
underwater, senses dulled by the mesmer. T r e e s and foliage
Holly's hands w e r e shaking and h e r eyes w e r e blurred
w e r e batted aside, leaving a wake of sap-crowned trunks
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AAAA
with tears.
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131
Pull yourself together. You are a professional.
l « n year-old A r t e m i s Fowl was keeping o n e eye on the
She didn't feel very professional. She felt like a girl out
tli'itma unfolding in the gorilla cage.
o f h e r depth.
troglodytes gorilla,' he c o m m e n t e d to Butler. 'Given the
Your body is playing tricks on your mind. Ignore it.
M.1 M ic by D o c t o r T h o m a s S. Savage, an A m e r i c a n missionary
Holly cupped A r t e m i s ' s face gently in b o t h hands.
111 western Africa, who first scientifically described the gorilla
'Heal,' she whispered, almost sobbed.
in 1847.' You d o n ' t say,' m u r m u r e d the bodyguard, w h o was
T h e magical sparks leaped like dogs unleashed, sinking
interested in the b r u t e ' s b i t e radius than its p r o p e r
into Artemis's pores, knitting b o n e s , healing skin, staunching
more
internal bleeding.
name.
T h e y had used the c o m m o t i o n as cover to slip out from
T h e sudden transition from death's d o o r to hale and h e a r t y was rough on A r t e m i s . He shuddered and b u c k e d ,
I In
t e e t h chattering, hair frizzing in an e l e c t r i c halo.
lemur's cage, which was beside the gorilla's cage. The strange n e w c o m e r s w e r e far t o o busy to n o t i c e t h e m
' C o m e on, A r t e m i s , ' said Holly, bending over him like a m o u r n e r . ' W a k e up.'
Swipe the cage's key-card l o c k and open the gate door. ' L o o k at those t w o . Wasting t i m e . You w o u l d n ' t catch
T h e r e was no reaction for several seconds. Artemis looked like a healthy corpse, but then that was h o w he usually looked.
me doing that.'
T h e n his m i s m a t c h e d eyes o p e n e d , lids flickering like hummingbird wings as his system r e b o o t e d . He coughed and
B u t l e r s n o r t e d , as he usually did immediately before delivering a deadpan line.
shuddered, flexing fingers and toes.
' M o s t people never catch you doing anything, A r t e m i s . ' Artemis allowed himself a chuckle. This was an interesting
'Holly,' he said, w h e n his vision cleared. His smile was sincere and grateful. 'You saved me again.'
day, and he was enjoying the challenges that it presented. 'And there we are,' said A r t e m i s quietly. ' T h e last silky
Holly was laughing and crying at the same t i m e , tears spilling on to A r t e m i s ' s chest. ' O f c o u r s e I saved you,' she said. 'I c o u l d n ' t do without
artificial hide and across the small courtyard to the
sifaka l e m u r in the w o r l d . T h e hundred-thousand-euro primate.'
you.' And because she was happy and flushed with m a g i c
T h e l e m u r was p e r c h e d high in a Madagascar palm,
Holly leaned down and kissed A r t e m i s , m a g i c sparking
clinging to the branches with its long, grasping toes and
around the c o n t a c t like tiny fireworks.
opposable thumb digits. Its coat was snow white with a brown patch on the chest.
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A r t e m i s pointed at the animal. ' T h a t colouring results from chest scent marking with the sternal-gular gland.' 'Uh-huh,' said Butler, w h o cared slightly less about this than he did about the gorilla's scientific n a m e . ' L e t ' s just get the animal and get out of h e r e before our friends n e x t d o o r regroup.' T think we have a m o m e n t or two,' said A r t e m i s . Butler studied the strangers in the adjacent cage. It was
Butler k n e w that A r t e m i s would be j u s t itching to study these strange creatures, but n o w was n o t the t i m e . T h e y \\<-ir
in a position o f total ignorance and people in that
position often died w i t h o u t being enlightened. T h e bodyguard d r e w his dart pistol, but A r t e m i s r e c o g ii i / i d the sound of a gun sliding from a holster and waved Ins index finger. 4
That's our last option. I d o n ' t want our little friend
surprising that the male was not in pieces by now, but somehow
breaking his n e c k on the way down. First we try gentle
the female had appeared from nowhere and chased the gorilla
|>ei suasion.'
off. Impressive. That one had a few tricks up her sleeve. T h e r e was serious technology behind her. Perhaps some kind of
f r o m his p o c k e t A r t e m i s tugged a small ziplock bag < ontaining an a m b e r gel flecked with black and g r e e n .
camouflage software in the clothing, which could explain the
' M y own c o n c o c t i o n , ' he explained. ' T h e sifakas are from
sparks.The Americans, he knew, were developing an all-terrain
die Indriidae family of p r i m a t e s , which, as you know, is a
camouflage suit. O n e of his military contacts had sent him a
strictly vegetarian family.'
link to a leaked video on the Internet. T h e r e was another creature in the cage, the hairy individual w h o had released the first t w o from the Bentley, picking what was supposed to be an unpickable l o c k in the
' W h o wouldn't k n o w that?' w o n d e r e d Butler, w h o had not exactly put away his pistol. A r t e m i s unzipped the bag, releasing a sweet, thick aroma that wound its way up towards the lemur.
process. T h e creature was n e i t h e r m a n n o r beast, a rough
'Sap c o n c e n t r a t e , with a p o t p o u r r i of African vegeta-
stumpy character w h o had b e e n propelled through the earth
t i o n . N o l e m u r could resist this. B u t i f this particular
by s o m e force and was n o w suffering from a debilitating
primate's brain is stronger than his s t o m a c h , fire away. O n e
attack of gas. Somehow, this thing had managed to dig a
shot, if you please, and avoid the head. T h e needle alone
t h i r t y - m e t r e tunnel in a m a t t e r of minutes. If it hadn't b e e n
would probably be enough to c r a c k that tiny skull.'
for the fact that the cages w e r e modular, with overlapping
B u t l e r would have s n o r t e d , but the l e m u r was moving.
walls, then the creature would have b e e n in the same cage
It crawled along the b r a n c h , dipping its pointed nose to
as the lemur. As it was, while it e m e r g e d directly b e l o w
catch the odour. Touching the smell with a darting pink
the lemur, it was o n e cage over.
tongue.
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' H m m / said the bodyguard. T h a t c o n c o c t i o n w o n ' t w o r k
built like interlocking b l o c k s and so the l e m u r had b e e n il>ove t h e m , but also in the n e x t cage. He should have
on humans, I suppose.' 'Ask me again in six m o n t h s , ' said A r t e m i s . 'I am doing
r e m e m b e r e d that, i f h e had b e e n h e r e b e f o r e . B u t A r t e m i s h a d no m e m o r y of visiting the central c o m p o u n d . As far
some pheromone experiments.' T h e l e m u r scampered forward now, hypnotized by the glorious a r o m a . W h e n the b r a n c h ran out, it dropped to the g r o u n d and h o p p e d forward
on t w o l e g s , fingers
as he was aware, the park d i r e c t o r had brought the l e m u r into
a special viewing r o o m . This was confusing.
'Very well,' he said. 'I see w h e r e we are . . .' He was thinking aloud, steadying his m i n d , trying to
o u t s t r e t c h e d towards the bag.
Forget the kiss for now. T h i n k about it later.
A r t e m i s g r i n n e d . ' T h i s g a m e is over.' ' M a y b e not,' said Butler. In the cage beside t h e m , the
A r t e m i s r u b b e d the r e d sparks from his eyes, then t u r n e d
long-haired b o y was on his feet and the female was making
as quickly as the post-healing vertigo would allow. T h e r e
a very strange noise.
he was, his younger self, enticing the silky sifaka l e m u r with a bag of a m b e r paste.
T h e c o r o n a o f m a g i c around fourteen-year-old A r t e m i s and Holly faded, and along with it w e n t the dreamlike trance
< lever boy? An i m m e d i a t e solution was n e e d e d . A fluid quick-fire
insulating A r t e m i s ' s m i n d . He was instantly alert. Holly had kissed h i m . A r t e m i s back-pedalled, j u m p i n g to his feet, spreading his arms wide
plan. A r t e m i s r u b b e d his eye sockets as if that could sharpen h i s mind. ' M u l c h , can you tunnel?'
to c o u n t e r a c t the sudden dizziness. ' E h , thanks,' he said awkwardly. ' T h a t was u n e x p e c t e d . ' Holly s m i l e d , feeling a little e m b a r r a s s e d . ' A r t e m i s , you're O K . Any m o r e healings and y o u ' l l b e nothing but
T h e dwarf o p e n e d his m o u t h to answer, but t h r e w up instead. T dunno,' he said finally. ' M y head's a b i t flippy-floppy. S t o m a c h t o o . T h a t bash really s h o o k m e . ' His b e l l y m a d e
scar tissue held t o g e t h e r by m a g i c thread.' A r t e m i s thought that it would be nice to stay h e r e and talk like this, but o n e cage over his future was escaping
a sound like an o u t b o a r d m o t o r . " S c u s e m e . I think I gotta . . .' He did indeed gotta. M u l c h crawled into a fern patch
with his past. He u n d e r s t o o d immediately what had happened. M u l c h ' s nose had led t h e m to the right place, but the cages w e r e
/VVVv AAAA
Sap, I bet. Perhaps with a few twigs and leaves. Wasn't I a
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/WW
a n d let f l y with the r e m a i n d e r o f his s t o m a c h c o n t e n t s . Several leaves wilted on the spot.
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No use, thought A r t e m i s . / need a miracle or that lemur is gone and dead. He grabbed Holly's shoulders. ' D o you have any m a g i c left?' 'A little, A r t e m i s . A few sparks maybe.' ' C a n you talk to the animals?' Holly twisted h e r chin to the left until h e r n e c k b o n e clicked, checking the tank.
/ have him, thought the Irish boy. The money for the expedition is mine. T h e n a wall of unholy sound blasted him like a f o r c e ten wind. Young A r t e m i s staggered b a c k , dropping the bag of paste, suddenly irrationally terrified. Something wants to kill me. But what? Every animal in the world, it sounds like. T h e park's residents were thoroughly spooked too. T h e y screeched and chattered, rattling their cages, hurling them-
T could do that, anything e x c e p t trolls. T h e y d o n ' t fall for that trick.' A r t e m i s nodded, m u t t e r i n g to himself. Thinking. ' O K . O K . I want you to scare that l e m u r away from m e . T h e younger m e . And I n e e d confusion. Can you do
selves against the bars. Monkeys tried repeatedly to leap across the moats surrounding their islands. An eight-hundredkilo Sumatran rhino charged the heavy doors to its compound, rattling the hinges with each attack. A red w o l f snarled and snapped, an Iberian lynx hissed, slashing the air, and a snow
that?' T can try.' Holly closed h e r eyes, breathed deeply through h e r n o s e ,
leopard chased its tail, flicking its head and mewling anxiously. B u t l e r could n o t help but shift his focus.
filling h e r lungs, then t h r e w h e r head b a c k and h o w l e d . It
'It's the female creature,' he stated. 'Making s o m e kind
was a fantastic noise. Lions, apes, wolves and eagles. T h e y
of sound. It's riling these animals up. I ' m a bit disturbed
w e r e all in t h e r e . T h e howl was punctuated by the staccato
myself.'
chatter of monkeys and the hiss of a thousand snakes. A r t e m i s the elder stepped b a c k , instinctively terrified.
A r t e m i s did n o t take his gaze from the lemur. 'You k n o w what to do,' he said.
S o m e primal part of his brain i n t e r p r e t e d this message as
B u t l e r knew. If t h e r e is an o b s t a c l e preventing the
fear and pain. His skin crawled and he had to fight his every
c o m p l e t i o n of a mission, r e m o v e the obstacle. He strode
instinct n o t to run and hide.
quickly to the bars, p o k e d the pistol's muzzle through the mesh and put a dart into the female's shoulder.
A r t e m i s the younger r e a c h e d down to the lemur, dangling the ziplock bag in front of his twitching n o s e . T h e l e m u r laid the pads of its fingers on A r t e m i s ' s w r i s t .
She s t u m b l e d b a c k w a r d s , h e r fantastic o r c h e s t r a o f animal sounds squawking to a halt. B u t l e r felt a shudder of guilt, which almost caused him
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to misstep on his way to A r t e m i s ' s side. T w i c e n o w he had
( atching the animal was easier said than done. T h e l e m u r
tranked this girl, or whatever she was, w i t h o u t having any
was incredibly agile and found purchase on the s m o o t h e s t
idea what the chemicals w e r e doing to h e r non-human
< >l surfaces. It darted w i t h o u t a wobble along a m e t a l railing,
system. His only consolation was that he had loaded small
leaping t h r e e m e t r e s to the l o w e r branches of a p o t t e d palm
dosage darts as soon as he had secured the night watchman.
a n d from there j u m p i n g t o the c o m p o u n d wall.
She shouldn't be out t o o long. A few minutes tops.
' S h o o t ! ' hissed A r t e m i s .
T h e l e m u r was spooked now. Tiny hands tickling the
It o c c u r r e d to B u t l e r briefly that he did n o t care for
space before him. T h e sap cocktail was tempting, but there
A rtemis's expression — almost c r u e l , his b r o w creased w h e r e
was danger h e r e of the w o r s t kind and the urge to live was
a ten-year-old's b r o w should n o t have creases — but he would
overriding the desire for a tasty treat.
worry about that later; for n o w he had an animal to sedate.
' N o , ' said A r t e m i s , seeing fear cloud the creature's eyes. 'It's n o t real. T h e r e is no danger.'
B u t l e r was quick but the silky sifaka was quicker. In a Hash of fur it scaled the wall and dropped outside into the
T h e little simian was n o t convinced, as if it could read the boy's intention in the sharp angles of his face.
night, leaving a blurred white j e t stream in its wake. 'Wow,' said Butler, almost in admiration. ' T h a t was fast.'
T h e silky sifaka squeaked o n c e , as though pin-pricked,
A r t e m i s was n o t impressed by his bodyguard's c h o i c e
then scampered along A r t e m i s ' s a r m , over his shoulder and
of words. 'Wow? I think this m e r i t s m o r e than a wow. O u r
out through the cage door.
quarry has escaped and with it the funds for my A r c t i c
B u t l e r lunged for the tail, but missed by a hair. He closed his fingers into a fist.
expedition.' At this point B u t l e r was fast losing interest in the lemur.
'Perhaps it's t i m e to admit defeat on this o n e . We are
T h e r e w e r e o t h e r less ignoble ways to raise funds. B u t l e r
dangerously unprepared and our adversaries have . . . abil-
shuddered to think of the ribbing he would have to endure
ities we k n o w nothing about.'
if an a c c o u n t of this night s o m e h o w m a d e it to F a r m e r ' s
His charge's reply was to hurry after the lemur.
Bar in L A , which was o w n e d by o n e ex-blue-diamond body-
' A r t e m i s , wait,' sighed Butler. ' I f we m u s t p r o c e e d , then
guard and frequented by many m o r e .
I will take the lead.'
B u t , in spite of his distaste for the mission, Butler's sense
' T h e y want the lemur,' A r t e m i s panted as he ran. 'And
of loyalty forced him to share a fact that the park d i r e c t o r
so it b e c o m e s m o r e valuable than it was. W h e n we catch
had m e n t i o n e d earlier w h e n A r t e m i s was busy studying the
the animal, then we are in a position of power.'
alarm system.
/WW
/WW
/WW
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' T h e r e is something that I know, which you may not know,' he said archly. A r t e m i s was n o t in the m o o d for games. ' O h , really. And what would that b e ? ' ' L e m u r s are tree creatures,' replied Butler. ' T h a t little guy is spooked and he's going to climb the biggest tree he can find, even if it isn't actually a tree. If you see what I mean.' A r t e m i s saw immediately, which wasn't difficult as the huge structures cast a lattice of m o o n shadows over the entire c o m p o u n d . ' O f c o u r s e , old friend,' he said, his frown crease disappearing. ' T h e pylons.'
will have a rather large scar, but then looks are n o t really important to you.' Mulch squinted at A r t e m i s through a narrowed eye. ' A r e you trying to be funny? O h , my G o d , you're n o t . T h a t was actually the nicest thing you could think of to say.' He dabbed at his bloody forehead with a finger. ' O w . That hurts.' ' O f course.' T will have to seal it. You k n o w all about this dwarf talent, I suppose.' 'Naturally,' said A r t e m i s , keeping a straight face. 'I've seen it a dozen times.' T doubt it,' g r u n t e d M u l c h , plucking a wiggling beard
Things were going disastrously wrong for Artemis the elder.
hair from his chin. ' B u t I d o n ' t have m u c h c h o i c e , n o w do
Mulch was injured, Holly was unconscious again — feet sticking
I? W i t h the L E P e l f in dreamland, I w o n ' t be getting any
out of the dwarf's hole - and he himself was fast running out
magical help from that quarter.'
of ideas. T h e deafening clamour of a hundred endangered species going berserk was n o t helping his concentration. The animals are going ape, he thought. T h e n : What a time to develop a sense of humour.
A r t e m i s heard a rustling in the undergrowth at the rear of the cage. 'You'd b e t t e r hurry it up. I think the gorilla is o v e r c o m i n g its fear of fairies.' W i n c i n g , M u l c h introduced the beard hair to his gash.
All he could do was prioritize.
It t o o k off like a tadpole, poking through the skin, stitching
/ need to get Holly out of here, he realized. That is the most
the flaps together.Though he groaned and shuddered, M u l c h
important thing. M u l c h m o a n e d , rolling on to his b a c k , and A r t e m i s saw that there was a bleeding gash on his forehead.
managed to stay conscious. W h e n the hair had finished its work, and the wound was tied up tighter than a fly in a ball of spider's web, M u l c h
He stumbled to the dwarf's side. 'I imagine you're in great
spat on his hand and rubbed the gooey mess on to the wound.
pain,' he said. 'It's to be e x p e c t e d with such a laceration.'
'All sealed,' he proclaimed, then upon seeing the glint in
Bedside m a n n e r was n o t one of Artemis's strong suits. 'You
Artemis's eye: ' D o n ' t get any ideas, Mud Boy.This only works
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on dwarfs, and, what's m o r e , my beard hair only works on
He realizes he has been tricked.
m e . You poke one of my lovelies into your skin and all you'II
I lis theorizing was cut short by M u l c h ' s appearance in
get is an infection.'
tin
T h e rustling in the u n d e r g r o w t h g r e w louder, and
zombie glow on his face.
A r t e m i s Fowl decided to forego further information, which was almost unheard of for h i m .
tunnel, the spittle bandage on his forehead casting a
(rorilla coming,' he said as he gulped down lungfuls of i n ' ( i o t t a go.'
' T i m e we w e r e off. Can you seal the tunnel behind us?'
Artemis heard t w i n thumps as the gorilla landed on
'I can bring the w h o l e l o t down easy as pie. You'd b e t t e r
the I unnel floor. T h e huge simian r o a r e d a challenge d o w n
take the lead though, there are b e t t e r ways to go than being
tin
buried alive in . . . shall we say, recyclings. N e e d I say
ii travelled.
more?'
hole and the n o i s e g r e w in f e r o c i t y w i t h every m e t r e
I lolly m o a n e d and A r t e m i s p u l l e d h a r d e r o n h e r
T h e r e was no n e e d to say another syllable. A r t e m i s
ihoulders.
j u m p e d into the h o l e , grabbed Holly's shoulders and began
Mulch sucked down air as fast as he could, bundling
dragging h e r down the tunnel, past the blobs of luminous
Artemis and Holly d e e p e r into the tunnel. Twenty m e t r e s
spittle towards the proverbial light at the end. It was like
to go. T h e y would never m a k e it. T h e gorilla was advancing,
travelling through space towards the Milky Way.
pulverizing each spittle lantern as he passed it, roaring with
T h e sounds of his own body w e r e amplified. Gulping breath, d r u m m i n g h e a r t b e a t , the b e n d and creak of muscle and sinew.
hloodlust. A r t e m i s swore he saw a flash of t e e t h . T h e tunnel s e e m e d to shudder with each blow. Large sections collapsed.
Holly rolled along easily, h e r suit hissing on the rough surface like a nest of vipers. Or maybe t h e r e w e r e snakes down h e r e , the way A r t e m i s ' s luck was going. / am trying to do something good for a change, he r e m i n d e d himself. And this is how the Fates reward me. A life of crime was infinitely easier.
M u d and r o c k c l a t t e r e d down o n
Artemis's head and shoulders. D i r t p o o l e d in Holly's eye sockets. M u l c h ' s cheeks ballooned and he o p e n e d his lips the m e r e s t fraction to speak. ' O K , ' he said in a helium voice. ' T h e tank is full.' T h e dwarf gathered A r t e m i s and Holly in his burly Popeye
Surface noise was amplified by the tunnel's acoustics.
arms and vented every bubble of air in his body. T h e resulting
T h e gorilla sounded furious now. A r t e m i s could hear the
j e t stream propelled the group down the length o f the
slap of fists on chest and an enraged huffing.
t u n n e l . T h e trip was short, j a r r i n g and confusing.The breath
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was driven f r o m A r t e m i s ' s lungs and his fingers were
thai underneath the pillar's c o r n e r s t o n e would be a secure •pot. He pulled off the remaining stones stacked on top,
stretched to cracking, but he would n o t let go of Holly.
\\ iggled his fingers under the final boulder and heaved. It
He could n o t let h e r die. T h e unfortunate gorilla was b l o w n head-over-rump by
Came away easily, revealing nothing but w o r m s and damp c ,ndi. No package from the future; for whatever reason,
the w i n d s t o r m , yanked b a c k up the tunnel as though teth e r e d to an elastic cable. It w h o o p e d as it w e n t , digging its
that particular t r i c k would only w o r k o n c e . So. No help. I must make do with what is available.
fingers into the tunnel wall. A r t e m i s , Holly and M u l c h p o p p e d from the tunnel m o u t h , bouncing and skittering along the ditch in a tangle
4
of limbs and t o r s o s . T h e stars above t h e m w e r e speedstreaked and the m o o n was a smear of yellow light. An old famine wall halted their progress, crumbling
Artemis r e t u r n e d to w h e r e Holly and M u l c h lay. B o t h were moaning. 'I think I split a gut getting rid of that wind,' said M u l c h . ' T h e r e was a bit t o o m u c h fear in the m i x . ' Artemis's nose w r i n k l e d . ' W i l l you b e O K ? ' ' G i v e me a m i n u t e and I'll be plenty strong enough to
under the i m p a c t o f t h r e e bodies. ' F o r m o r e than a hundred and fifty years this wall stood,'
earry that huge a m o u n t of gold you p r o m i s e d m e . ' Holly was groggy. H e r eyes fluttered as she tried to pull
coughed A r t e m i s . ' T h e n we c o m e along.' He lay on his b a c k feeling thoroughly defeated. His m o t h e r would die and Holly would soon hate him when
herself out of it and her arms flopped like fish out of water. Artemis did a quick pulse and temperature c h e c k . Slight fever but steady heartbeat. Holly was recovering, but it would be
she w o r k e d out the truth.
several minutes before she could control her mind or body.
All is lost. I have no idea what to do. T h e n o n e o f the n o t o r i o u s Rathdown pylons sharpened in his vision — m o r e specifically, the figures clambering
/ must do this on my own, A r t e m i s realized. No Holly, no Butler. J u s t A r t e m i s versus A r t e m i s .
along its service ladder. The lemur has escaped, thought A r t e m i s , and is climbing as
And perhaps an Omnitool, he thought, reaching into Holly's pocket.
high as it can. A reprieve. T h e r e was still a c h a n c e . What I need to save this situation is a full LEP surveillance and assault kit. Perhaps I will have Number One send one back for me. A r t e m i s disentangled himself from the others and decided
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WA
T h e Rathdown electricity pylons had b e e n featured in Irish news headlines several times since their erection. Environmentalists protested vehemently that the appearance of the
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gigantic pylons blighted an otherwise beautiful valley, not to
Artemis r e a c h e d the pylon's base, w h i c h was secured by
mention the possible detrimental effect the uninsulated power
I cage. T h e heavy padlock submitted instantly to a quick
lines could have on the health of anyone or anything living
|ab from the O m n i t o o l , as did the steel e q u i p m e n t locker.
b e l o w their arcs. T h e national electricity board had coun
Inside
tered these arguments by pleading that the lines were t o o
Artemis tugged on the heavy overalls, wiggling his fingers
high to harm anything and that constructing smaller pylons
Into the attached gloves, tucking his long hair inside the
around the valley would blight ten times m o r e land.
hood.
w e r e various t o o l s , walkie-talkies and a Faraday suit.
T h e flame-retardant and steel-thread suit had t o
And so a half a dozen of these m e t a l giants bridged
enclose him c o m p l e t e l y to act as a protective Faraday cage.
R a t h d o w n Valley, reaching a height of o n e hundred m e t r e s
< Mherwise he could n o t venture out on the wires w i t h o u t
at t h e i r zenith. T h e pylon bases w e r e often r i n g e d by
being b u r n e d to a c r i m i n a l - m a s t e r m i n d cinder.
p r o t e s t e r s , so m u c h so that the p o w e r company had taken to servicing the lines by helicopter.
M o r e luck. An elevator platform ran up the side of the pylon. It was l o c k e d and k e y - c o d e d . B u t locks quailed w h e n
On this night, as A r t e m i s r a c e d across the m o o n l i t
laced with an O m n i t o o l , and a key c o d e was of little value
meadow, kicking up diamond dewdrops, there w e r e no
when it was a simple m a t t e r to u n s c r e w the c o n t r o l panel
p r o t e s t e r s ringing the pylons, but they had planted their
and activate the pulley manually.
signs like m o o n flags. A r t e m i s slalomed through this obstacle
A r t e m i s held tight to the safety rail as the tiny elevator
course while simultaneously craning his n e c k to t r a c k the
shuddered and whined its way into the night sky. T h e valley
figures above.
spread out b e l o w him as he rose and a westerly wind c r e p t
T h e l e m u r was on the w i r e now, silhouetted by the
over the hills, tugging a strand of hair from his h o o d .
m o o n , s c a m p e r i n g easily along the m e t a l c a b l e , while
A r t e m i s gazed n o r t h , and for a fanciful m o m e n t imagined
A r t e m i s the younger and B u t l e r w e r e stranded on the small
he could see the lights of Fowl Manor.
platform at the pylon's base, unable to venture any further. Finally, thought A r t e m i s , a stroke or two of luck. Stroke o n e was that the l e m u r was suddenly up for grabs.
Mother is there, he thought. Unwell now and unwell in the future. Perhaps I can just talk to my younger self. Explain the situation.
Stroke the s e c o n d was that while his young nemesis had
T h i s thought was even m o r e fanciful than the last.
chosen to follow the silky sifaka directly up the pylon the
A r t e m i s had no illusions about what he had b e e n like at
animal was scaling, he h i m s e l f could go up the adjacent
the age of ten. He had trusted no o n e c o m p l e t e l y but
p o l e , w h i c h j u s t happened to be the service pylon.
h i m s e l f . N o t his p a r e n t s , n o t even B u t l e r . A t the f i r s t
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m e n t i o n of t i m e travel, his younger self would have his
On the far pylon, A r t e m i s the younger scowled at the
bodyguard shoot a dart first and ask questions later. A lot
animal, while simultaneously trying to t e m p t it b a c k with
of questions and at great length. T h e r e was no t i m e for
his bag of paste.
explanations and debate. This battle would have to be won by wits and guile.
There is nothing to do but go out on the wires and bring the lemur back yourself.
T h e elevator grated into its brackets at the top of the
T h e h o t suit was equipped for moving across the wires.
pylon. A skull and crossbones sign was riveted to the tall
T h e r e was a safety c o r d wrapped round his waist and a light-
safety gate. Even if A r t e m i s had n o t b e e n a genius the sign
ning rod in a long p o c k e t on his thigh. B e l o w the platform
would have b e e n difficult to m i s i n t e r p r e t , and just in case
was a small sledge on insulated runners that the engineers
a total idiot did manage to scale the pylon there was a
used to hand-crank themselves b e t w e e n pylons.
s e c o n d sign depicting a c a r t o o n m a n being zapped by e l e c -
Brains count for little now, he realized. What I need is balance.
tricity from a c a r t o o n pylon. T h e man's skeleton was clearly
A r t e m i s groaned. Balance was n o t his f o r t e .
visible, X - r a y style.
Taking a deep breath, he c r o u c h e d low, drawing the light-
Apparently electricity is dangerous, A r t e m i s m i g h t have c o m m e n t e d had B u t l e r b e e n by his side. T h e r e was yet another l o c k on the safety gate, w h i c h delayed A r t e m i s about as long as the first t w o . Outside the safety gate was a small platform covered with w i r e m e s h , with twin p o w e r lines h u m m i n g directly beneath. There are half a million volts running through those lines, thought A r t e m i s . / do hope there are no rips in this suit. A r t e m i s squatted low, peering along the line. T h e l e m u r had paused halfway b e t w e e n the t w o pylons and was chattering to itself as if weighing up its options. Luckily for the
ning r o d from his p o c k e t . A l m o s t as soon as it cleared the material, j e t s o f w h i t e - h o t sparks j u m p e d from the p o w e r lines c o n n e c t i n g with the tip of the r o d . T h e stream buzzed and hissed like a n e o n snake. You are equalizing voltage, that's all. The electricity cannot hurt you. Perhaps n o t , but A r t e m i s could already feel the hair standing on his n e c k . Was that anxiety, or w e r e a couple of volts sneaking in s o m e w h e r e ? Don't be absurd. If there is a hole, all the volts will worm inside, not just a couple.
small creature, it was only touching o n e line, so no c u r r e n t
Artemis was vaguely familiar with the technique for wire-
flowed through its body. If it put so m u c h as a t o e on the
walking, as the national broadcasting service had done a news
second line the shock would spin it thirty m e t r e s into the
special on the high-wire daredevils w h o risked their lives to
air and it would be stone dead before it stopped revolving.
keep the lights of Dublin burning. It wasn't so m u c h wire-
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
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150
Ten metres later his a r m s ached and he was n o t i c e d by
walking as wire-crawling. T h e cables were extremely taut and the maintenance engineers clipped on their safety lines, lay on the sledge, then turned the winch until they reached the maintenance site. S i m p l e . In theory. F o r a professional on a c a l m m o r n i n g . N o t so easy for an amateur in the dead of night with only the stars and the ambient light of nearby Dublin to guide h i m . A r t e m i s sheathed his lightning rod and gingerly clipped his safety line to o n e of the cables. He held his breath, as though that could possibly make a difference, and laid his gloved hands on the m e t a l sledge. Still alive. A good start. Artemis inched forward, the metal w a r m under his clumsy
the
opposition.
A v o i c e floated across from the o t h e r pylon. 'I advise you to stay w h e r e you are, young m a n . If that suit has the tiniest rip, then o n e slip and those cables will liquefy your I in and m e l t your b o n e s / Artemis s c o w l e d . Young man? Had he really b e e n so obnoxious? So patronizing? 4
It would take less than a second for you to die,' continued
ten year-old A r t e m i s . ' B u t that's quite long enough to be in m o r t a l agony, d o n ' t you think? And all for nothing, as the l e m u r will obviously r e t u r n for this treat.' Yes, he had b e e n smug as w e l l as o b n o x i o u s and patronizing.
gloved hands, until he was lying flat on the sledge with the
A r t e m i s c h o s e n o t to reply, c o n c e n t r a t i n g his e n e r g y
double-handled winch in front of his face. It was a delicate
on staying alive and enticing the silky sifaka towards h i m .
manoeuvre and would have been impossible had the cables
F r o m his considerable r e s e r v o i r o f k n o w l e d g e o n j u s t about
n o t been tethered together at regular intervals. He began to
everything, A r t e m i s p l u c k e d the fact that smaller simians
twist and almost immediately the strain on his arms was
were c o m f o r t e d by a purring noise. Thank you, Jane
tremendous as he moved his own body weight.
Goodall.
The gym. Butler,you were right. Til do weights, anything, just get me off these cables with that lemur under my arm. A r t e m i s slid forward, feeling the r u n n e r s scrape the rough m e t a l of the cables, their intense h u m setting his t e e t h on edge and sending constant shivers coursing along his arched spine. T h e wind was l o w but still threatened to topple him from his lofty p e r c h and the ground s e e m e d like another planet. Distant and uninviting.
So he began to purr, m u c h to the a m u s e m e n t of his younger self. ' L i s t e n , Butler. T h e r e ' s a cat on the w i r e . A big torn, I would say. Perhaps you should t h r o w him a fish.' B u t the m o c k i n g t o n e was undercut with tension. Young A r t e m i s k n e w exactly what was going on. M o r e purring and it s e e m e d to be working: the ghostly sifaka t o o k a few cautious steps towards the elder A r t e m i s ,
155
152
his beady black eyes glittering with starlight and perhaps
Jock
still,
apart from his lips, w h i c h b u r b l e d o u t a
curiosity.
r o m l o r t i n g purr.
Holly would be proud. I am talking to an animal.
That's it, little fellow. Climb on to my arm.
Even as he purred, A r t e m i s w i n c e d at h o w ludicrous the
A r t e m i s l o o k e d into the lemur's eyes and for perhaps
situation had b e c o m e . It was a typical Fowlesque m e l o -
the first t i m e realized that it had e m o t i o n s . T h e r e was fear
drama. Two parties hunting for a l e m u r on the highest
in lhose eyes, but also a mischievous confidence. I low could I have sold you to those madmen? he w o n d e r e d .
p o w e r lines in Ireland. A r t e m i s l o o k e d along the dip of the lines across to the
T h e l e m u r suddenly c o m m i t t e d itself, scampering on to
o t h e r pylon, w h e r e B u t l e r stood, j a c k e t tail flapping around
Artemis's shoulder. It s e e m e d c o n t e n t to sit there while
his thighs. T h e bodyguard leaned into the wind, and the
Artemis ferried it b a c k to the service pylon.
intensity of his stare s e e m e d to p i e r c e the darkness, honing
As A r t e m i s r e t r e a t e d , he kept his eye fixed on his younger self. He would never simply a c c e p t defeat like this. N e i t h e r
in on A r t e m i s the elder like a laser. / miss my bodyguard, thought A r t e m i s .
of t h e m would. Young A r t e m i s ' s eyes suddenly snapped open
T h e l e m u r scampered closer, encouraged by the purring
and m e t his nemesis's stare.
and perhaps fooled by the steel-grey h o t suit.
' S h o o t the animal,' he said coldly.
That's right. I am another lemur.
B u t l e r was surprised. ' S h o o t the monkey.'
Artemis's arms were shaking from the strain of turning
'It's a . . . never m i n d . J u s t shoot it. T h e m a n is p r o t e c t e d
the handles at such an awkward angle. Every muscle in his
by his suit, but the l e m u r is an easy target.'
body was stretched to its limit, including several he had never
' B u t the fall . . .'
used before. His head was dizzy from keeping his balance.
' I f it dies, it dies. I will n o t be t h w a r t e d h e r e , Butler. If I c a n n o t have that lemur, then no o n e will have it.'
All this and animal impersonations too. O n e m e t r e now. T h a t was the distance b e t w e e n A r t e m i s
B u t l e r f r o w n e d . Killing animals was n o t in his j o b
and the lemur. T h e r e w e r e no m o r e taunts from the o t h e r
description, but he k n e w from e x p e r i e n c e that there was
side. A r t e m i s glanced across and found his nemesis had his
no point in arguing with the young master. At any rate, it
eyes closed and was breathing deeply. Trying to c o m e up
was a bit late to p r o t e s t now, p e r c h e d atop a pylon. He
with a plan.
should have spoken up m o r e forcefully earlier.
The lemur jumped
o n t o the
sledge
and t o u c h e d
A r t e m i s ' s gloved hand tentatively. C o n t a c t . A r t e m i s stayed
' W h e n e v e r you're ready, Butler. T h e target is n o t getting any closer.'
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155
O u t on the cables, A r t e m i s the elder could scarcely believe what he was hearing. B u t l e r had drawn his pistol
the (able towards Butler, nose sniffing the air, nostrils flaring 18 (hey located the sweet scent of Artemis's goodie bag.
and was climbing over the rails to get a b e t t e r shot. A r t e m i s had n o t intended to speak, as interaction with his younger self could have serious repercussions for the
In a m a t t e r of seconds it sat curled in the c r o o k of young Artemis's elbow, contentedly dipping its long fingers into the sap. T h e young boy's face glowed with victory.
future, but the words w e r e out before he could stop t h e m . 'Stay b a c k . You d o n ' t k n o w what you're dealing with.'
'Now,' he said, 'I think it b e s t that you stay exactly w h e r e you are until we leave. I think fifteen minutes should be
Oh, the irony.
line. After that, I advise you to be on your way and c o u n t
'Ah, he speaks,' called young A r t e m i s across the abyss.
yourself fortunate that I did n o t have B u t l e r sedate you.
' H o w fortunate that we can understand each other. W e l l ,
R e m e m b e r the pain that you are feeling now. T h e ache of
understand this, stranger. I will have that silky sifaka or it
utter defeat and hopelessness. And, if you ever consider
will die. M a k e no mistake.'
crossing swords with m e again, r e v i e w your m e m o r y o f
'You must n o t do this. T h e r e ' s t o o m u c h at stake.'
this pain, and perhaps you will think t w i c e . '
'I must do it. I have no c h o i c e . N o w send the animal over, or B u t l e r will shoot.'
A r t e m i s the elder was forced to w a t c h as B u t l e r stuffed the l e m u r i n t o a duffel bag, and b o y and bodyguard
T h r o u g h all of this, the l e m u r sat p e r c h e d on fourteenyear-old Artemis's head, scratching the stitching of his h o o d . So the t w o boys w h o w e r e o n e boy, l o c k e d eyes for a long tense m o m e n t .
c o m m e n c e d their c l i m b down the service ladder. Several minutes later, the Bentley's headlights scythed the darkness as the car pulled away from R a t h d o w n Park and on to the motorway. Straight to the airport, no doubt.
/ would have done it, thought A r t e m i s the elder, shocked by the c r u e l determination in his own blue eyes. And so he gingerly r e a c h e d up o n e hand and plucked the silky sifaka from his head.
A r t e m i s r e a c h e d up and gripped the w i n c h handles. He was n o t beaten yet, far from it. He intended to cross swords with his ten-year-old self again j u s t as soon as he possibly could. If anything, the boy's m o c k i n g speech had fuelled
'You have to go back,' he said softly. ' G o b a c k for the
his d e t e r m i n a t i o n .
nice treat. And, if I w e r e you, I'd stick close to the big human. T h e little one isn't very nice.'
do.
T h e l e m u r reached out and tweaked Artemis's nose, m u c h as B e c k e t t might have done, then turned and t r o t t e d along
/VSAA
Remember the pain? thought A r t e m i s . / hate myself. I really
A/VNA
157
l o m e fried c h i c k e n . W i t h b a r b e c u e sauce. And a large Pepsi. A n d maybe m o r e chicken.' l
I Iungry?'
'Always. A dwarf can only eat so m u c h dirt.' Artemis didn't k n o w w h e t h e r t o giggle o r groan. M u l c h
A B L O B OF PHLEGItl
C H A P T E R 8:
would tions,
always have trouble grasping the gravity o f situao r perhaps he liked t o give that impression.
' W h e r e ' s Holly?' M u l c h nodded towards a grave-shaped m o u n d of earth. 'I buried the captain. She was moaning quite loudly. Arty
B Y the t i m e A r t e m i s had m a d e his way down r
from the pylon, Holly had disappeared. He'd
11 i h <j !{
this and Arty that, with a few mothers thrown in.' Buried? Holly was claustrophobic.
left h e r by the tunnel m o u t h , but t h e r e was
A r t e m i s dropped to his k n e e s , scooping the earth from
nothing in the spot n o w e x c e p t m u d and
the m o u n t with his bare hands. M u l c h let him at it for a
footprints. Footprints, he thought. Now, I suppose I need to track Holly. I really must read T h e Last of the Mohicans.
minute, then sighed dramatically. ' L e t me do it, M u d Boy. Y o u ' l l be there all night.' He strolled over and casually thrust his hand into the
' D o n ' t b o t h e r following those,' said a voice from the
mound, chewing his lip as he searched for a specific spot.
ditch. 'False trail. I laid it in case the big human t o o k our
' H e r e we go,' g r u n t e d the dwarf, yanking out a short
L E P friend along for a snack.' ' T h a t was g o o d thinking,' said A r t e m i s , squinting through the foliage. A shaggy shadow detached itself from a h i l l o c k and b e c a m e M u l c h Diggums. ' B u t why did you b o t h e r ? I thought the L E P w e r e your enemy.' M u l c h pointed a stubby, m u d - c r u s t e d finger. 'You are my enemy, human. You are the planet's enemy.'
branch. T h e m o u n d vibrated then collapsed into small heaps of pebbles and clay. Holly was unhurt underneath. 'It's a c o m p l e x structure called a Na-Na,' said M u l c h , brandishing the twig. 'As in?' 'As in na-na-ne-na-na, you can't see m e , ' said the dwarf, then slapped h i m s e l f on the k n e e , exploding in a fit of giggles.
'And yet you are willing to help me for gold.'
A r t e m i s s c o w l e d , shaking Holly's shoulders gently.
'A stupendous a m o u n t of gold,' said M u l c h . 'And possibly
'Holly, can you hear m e ? '
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158
Holly S h o r t o p e n e d bleary eyes, rolled t h e m around for a while, then focused. ' A r t e m i s , I . . . O h , gods.' 'It's O K . I d o n ' t have the l e m u r . . . well, actually, I do. T h e o t h e r m e , but d o n ' t worry, I k n o w w h e r e I ' m going.' Holly dragged at h e r cheeks with delicate fingers. 'I m e a n Oh, gods, I think I kissed you! A r t e m i s ' s head pounded and Holly's m i s m a t c h e d eyes s e e m e d to hypnotize h i m . She still had a blue eye, even
/ need to think. A r t e m i s t o o k Holly's hand and elbow, helping h e r to stand and step from the shallow grave-like h o l e . ' R e b o r n , ' she quipped, then p u n c h e d M u l c h on the shoulder. ' O w w . W h y f o r e , miss, dost thou t o r m e n t m e ? ' ' D o n ' t q u o t e G e r d Flambough a t m e , M u l c h D i g g u m s . T h e r e was no n e e d to bury m e . A simple b r o a d l e a f across my m o u t h would have done.'
though h e r b o d y had r e j u v e n a t e d i t s e l f in the t u n n e l .
M u l c h r u b b e d his shoulder. 'A broadleaf desn't have the
A n o t h e r paradox. B u t , though A r t e m i s felt hypnotized, even
same artistry. Anyway, do I l o o k like a fern type of guy? I
slightly dazed, he k n e w he was n o t m e s m e r i z e d . T h e r e was
am a dwarf and we deal in mud.'
no fairy m a g i c h e r e . A r t e m i s l o o k e d into those elfin eyes and he k n e w that this younger, s o m e h o w m o r e vulnerable Holly felt the same way at this particular tangle of t i m e and space as he did. After all we have been through. Or maybe because of it. A m e m o r y smashed the delicate m o m e n t like a r o c k thrown through a spider's web.
A r t e m i s was glad of the banter. It gave him a m i n u t e to c o m p o s e himself. Forget your adolescent confusion about Holly. Remember Mother wasting away in her bed. There are less than three days left. 'Very well, troops,' he said with forced joviality. ' L e t ' s m o v e it out, as an old friend of m i n e would say. We have a l e m u r to catch.'
I lied to her.
' W h a t about my gold?' asked M u l c h .
A r t e m i s r o c k e d b a c k w a r d s with the strength o f the
'I shall put this as simply as possible. No lemur, no gold.'
thought. Holly believes that she infected Mother. I blackmailed her. He k n e w at that instant there was no recovering from
M u l c h tapped his lips with eight fingers and his beard hairs vibrated like the tendrils of a sea a n e m o n e . Thinking. ' H o w m u c h is stupendous exactly, in b u c k e t t e r m s ? '
such a brutal fact. If he confessed, she would hate h i m . If
' H o w many b u c k e t s do you have?'
he did n o t , he would hate himself.
M u l c h t o o k this as a serious question. 'I have a lot of
There must be something I can do.
b u c k e t s . M o s t of t h e m are full of stuff, though. I could
Nothing c a m e t o m i n d .
e m p t y t h e m , I suppose.'
160
A r t e m i s almost gnashed his t e e t h . Tt was a r h e t o r i c a l question. A l o t of b u c k e t s . As many as you like.' ' I f you want me to go any further down this monkey road, I need some kind of down payment. A good-faith deposit/ A r t e m i s slapped his e m p t y p o c k e t s . He had nothing.
T H E PRI11CE FROG
C H A P T E R 9:
Holly straightened h e r silver wig. T have something for you, M u l c h Diggums. S o m e t h i n g b e t t e r than a stupendous a m o u n t of gold. Six n u m b e r s , which I will reveal w h e n we g e t there.' ' G e t w h e r e ? ' asked M u l c h , w h o suspected that Holly was being m e l o d r a m a t i c .
THE
FOWL
LEARJET,
OVER BELGium
' T h e L E P e q u i p m e n t lock-up at Tara.'
, j; A
M u l c h ' s eyes glowed with dreams of sky skis and dive
T can have anything I want?'
made a video call from
his P o w e r b o o k to the the ancient t o w n of Fez
bubbles, laser cubes and fat vacuums. T h e m o t h e r l o a d . He'd b e e n trying to c r a c k an L E P lock-up for years.
Y O l i r i G Artemis
A jf
in M o r o c c o . Even as he waited for the c o n n e c tion, A r t e m i s silently fumed that it was n e c e s -
' W h a t e v e r you can g e t on to a hover trolley. O n e trolley.'
sary to make this intercontinental trip at all. Even Casablanca
M u l c h spat a m a r b l e d blob of phlegm into his palm.
would have b e e n m o r e convenient. M o r o c c o was h o t enough
'Shake on it,' he said.
without having to drive across country to Fez.
A r t e m i s and Holly l o o k e d at each other. 'It's your lock-up,' said A r t e m i s , stuffing his hands into his p o c k e t s .
On screen, a window popped open, barely containing the huge head of D o c t o r D a m o n Kronski, one of the m o s t hated m e n in the world, but revered t o o in certain circles. D a m o n
'It's your mission,' c o u n t e r e d Holly.
Kronski was the current president of the Extinctionists'
T d o n ' t k n o w the combination.'
organization. Or, as Kronski said in his m o s t notorious inter-
And then the t r u m p . ' W e ' r e here for your mother.'
view: ' T h e Extinctionists are n o t just an organization. We
A r t e m i s smiled ruefully. ' Y o u , Captain S h o r t , are getting
are a religion.' N o t a statement that endeared him to the
as bad as m e , ' he said, and sealed the deal with a sopping handshake.
peace-loving churches of the world. T h e i n t e r v i e w had run for m o n t h s on I n t e r n e t n e w s sites
AAAA
AAAA
162
and was sampled every t i m e the Extinctionists m a d e the headlines. A r t e m i s had viewed it h i m s e l f that very m o r n i n g and was repulsed by the m a n he was about to do business
Kronski feigned surprise. 'A hundred? D i d we really say .i hundred thousand e u r o ? ' T h e r e was steel in Artemis's eyes. 'You know we did, I )< x l o r . Plus expenses. J e t fuel is not cheap, as you are aware.
with. / am swimming with sharks, he realized. And I am prepared to become one of them.
I would like to hear you confirm it, or I will turn this plane round.'
D a m o n K r o n s k i was an e n o r m o u s m a n w h o s e head began its slope into his shoulders j u s t b e l o w the ears.His
Kronski leaned close to the c a m e r a , his face ballooning o n the screen.
skin was translucent, redhead white with a scattershot of
' I ' m generally a g o o d judge of character, Ah-temis,' he
penny freckles, and he w o r e violet sunglasses clamped in
said. 'I k n o w what people are capable of. B u t you . . . I
place by the folds of his b r o w and c h e e k s . His smile was
have no idea what you might do. I think it's because you
b r o a d , shining and insincere.
haven't r e a c h e d your limit yet.' Kronski leaned b a c k in his
' L i t t l e Ah-temis Fowl,' he said with a p r o n o u n c e d N e w
chair, the leather creaking under his weight. ' S o , very well. O n e hundred thousand euro, as we agreed. B u t a w o r d of
O r l e a n s drawl. 'You find your daddy y e t ? ' Artemis gripped the armrest of his chair, squeezing dents in the leather, but his smile was as shiny and fake as Kronski's.
warning . . .' 'Ye-es?' said Artemis, stretching the word to two syllables, in the N e w Orleans fashion, to demonstrate his lack of awe.
'No. Not yet/ ' W e l l now, that's a pity. Anything I can do to help, you
'You lose my lemur, my little silky, then you'd b e t t e r be ready to cover my expenses. T h e trial is all set up, and my
b e sure t o let your U n c l e D a m o n know.' A r t e m i s w o n d e r e d i f Kronski's amiable-uncle act would fool a drunken halfwit. Perhaps it was n o t supposed to. ' T h a n k you for the offer. In a few hours we may be able
people d o n ' t like to be disappointed.' T h e w o r d expenses sounded a lot m o r e sinister w h e n Kronski used it. ' D o n ' t worry,' snapped A r t e m i s . ' Y o u will g e t your
to help each o t h e r / Kronski clapped his hands delightedly. 'You have located
lemur. J u s t have my m o n e y ready.' Kronski spread his arms wide. 'I've got rivers of gold here,
my silky sifaka.' 'I have. Q u i t e a s p e c i m e n . M a l e . T h r e e years old. M o r e
Ah-temis. I've got mountains of diamonds. T h e only thing I
than a m e t r e in length from head to tail. Easily w o r t h a
don't have is a silky sifaka lemur. So hurry down here, boy, and
hundred
make my life complete.'
/WW
thousand.'
/VVNA
/SAAA
/WSA
/SAAA
AAAA
164
165
And he hung up, a second before A r t e m i s could c l i c k the t e r m i n a t e - c a l l b u t t o n .
( o l d me to shoot the lemur, you w e r e bluffing? You w e r e bluffing, w e r e n ' t you?'
Psychologically, that puts Ksonski in the power seat, thought A r t e m i s . / must learn to be quicker on the mouse.
4
It was no bluff,' said A r t e m i s , his voice unwavering. T
w i l l do whatever it takes.'
He closed the P o w e r b o o k ' s lid and r e c l i n e d his chair. Outside, in the sky, sunlight was burning through the l o w e r layers of mist and j e t trails drew t i c - t a c - t o e patterns in the
TARA SHUTTLE PORT,
IRELAHD
sky. Still in busy airspace. Not for long. Once we hit Africa, the jet
Access to the Tara shuttle p o r t was hindered by several steel
streams will thin out considerably I need a few hours' sleep.
d o o r s , various scans and c o d e s , t a m p e r - p r o o f b i o - l o c k s and
Tomorrow will be a long and distasteful day
a } 6 0 - d e g r e e surveillance n e t w o r k at the e n t r a n c e , which
He frowned. Distasteful,yes, but necessary
is not as easy to set up as it is to say. Of c o u r s e , all of this
A r t e m i s hit the r e c l i n e b u t t o n and closed his eyes. M o s t
Could be bypassed if one k n e w a s e c r e t way in.
boys his age w e r e swapping football cards or wearing out
' H o w did you know I have a secret way in?' pouted Mulch.
their thumbs on games consoles. He was in a j e t six thou-
In response, A r t e m i s and Holly simply l o o k e d at him,
sand m e t r e s over E u r o p e , planning the destruction of a
as though he w e r e an idiot, waiting for the penny to drop.
species with a deranged E x t i n c t i o n i s t . Perhaps I am too young for all this.
'Stupid t i m e travel,' m u t t e r e d the dwarf. 'Told you all about it myself, I suppose.'
Age was i m m a t e r i a l . W i t h o u t his efforts, A r t e m i s Fowl Senior would be lost forever in Russia, and that was simply
'You will,' confirmed Holly. 'And I d o n ' t see what you're so upset about. It's n o t as if I can r e p o r t you to anyone.'
n o t going to happen. Butler's voice c a m e over the j e t ' s i n t e r c o m . 'All quiet
' T r u e , ' admitted M u l c h . 'And t h e r e is all that lovely loot.'
up front, A r t e m i s . O n c e we g e t out over the M e d i t e r r a n e a n ,
T h e t h r e e sat in a stolen M i n i C o o p e r outside the
I ' m going to put h e r on autopilot for an hour and try to
boundary fence o f the M c G r a n e y farm, underneath which
wind down . . .'
was c o n c e a l e d the Tara shuttle p o r t . Ten thousand cubic
A r t e m i s stared at the speaker. He could sense that B u t l e r
m e t r e s of t e r m i n a l hidden by a dairy farm. T h e first light
had m o r e to say. Nothing but static and the b e e p of instru-
of dawn was diluting the darkness, and the lumpy silhou-
m e n t s for a m o m e n t , then . . . 'Today, A r t e m i s , w h e n you
ettes of grazing cows ambled across the meadow. In a year
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or t w o , Tara would b e c o m e a bustling tourist hub for the
ai rested on pollution charges and you b r o k e him out. We
fairies, b u t for the m o m e n t all tourism had b e e n suspended
know. We k n o w everything about you. Now, let's m o v e on
since the Spelltropy outbreak.
with the plan.'
M u l c h squinted at the nearest beast through the b a c k 4
M u l c h t u r n e d his b a c k to A r t e m i s , casually unbuttoning
window. You k n o w something, I ' m a tad peckish. I c o u l d n ' t
I lis bum-flap. This action was among the w o r s t insults in a
eat a w h o l e cow, but I'd put a fair dent in one.'
dwarf's arsenal. S e c o n d only to what was k n o w n as the
' M u l c h Diggums hungry. Stop the presses,' c o m m e n t e d Artemis drily. He opened the driver's door, stepping on to
Tuba, which involves a cleaning of the pipes in s o m e o n e ' s direction. W a r s have b e e n fought over the Tuba.
the grassy verge. A light mist clung to his face and the clean
'Moving on, chief. Stay here for fifteen minutes, then
smell of country air ran through his system like a stimulant.
make your way to the main entrance. I would take you with
' W e n e e d to get going. I have no doubt that the l e m u r
me, but this tunnel is t o o long to hold things in, if you catch
is already six thousand m e t r e s in the air.' 'That's a n i m b l e lemur,' sniggered the dwarf. He c l i m b e d over the front seat, and t u m b l e d out on to the verge. ' N i c e clay,' he said, giving the ground a l i c k . 'Tastes like profit.' Holly stepped from the passenger seat and sideswiped Mulch's behind with h e r loafer. ' T h e r e will be no profit for you if we c a n ' t get into the t e r m i n a l unseen.' T h e dwarf picked himself up. 'I thought we were supposed to be friends. Easy with the kicking and the punching. Are you always this aggressive?' ' C a n you do it or n o t ? ' ' O f c o u r s e I can. I said so, didn't I? I've b e e n running around this t e r m i n a l for years. Ever since my cousin —' A r t e m i s b u t t e d in on the conversation. ' E v e r since your cousin — N o r d , if I ' m n o t mistaken — ever since N o r d was
my drift.' He paused for a wink. 'And if you stand t o o close, that's exactly what you'll be catching.' Artemis smiled through gritted teeth. 'Very well. M o s t amusing. Fifteen minutes it is, M i s t e r Diggums, the c l o c k is ticking.' ' T i c k i n g ? ' said M u l c h . 'Fairy c l o c k s haven't t i c k e d for centuries.' T h e n he unhinged his j a w and leaped, with astonishing g r a c e , diving into the earth like a dolphin slicing through a wave, but without the sunny disposition or c u t e grin. T h o u g h A r t e m i s had seen this a dozen t i m e s , he could not help being impressed. ' W h a t a species,' he c o m m e n t e d . ' I f they could take their minds off their stomachs for a few m i n u t e s , they could rule the world.' Holly c l i m b e d on to the b o n n e t , resting h e r b a c k against the windscreen, feeling the sun on h e r c h e e k s .
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168
' M a y b e they d o n ' t want to rule the w o r l d . Maybe that's j u s t you, Arty.' Arty. Guilt gnawed at A r t e m i s ' s s t o m a c h . He gazed at Holly's familiar fine features and realized that he couldn't keep lying to h e r any longer. 'It's a pity we had to steal this car,' continued Holly, eyes closed. ' B u t the n o t e we left was clear enough. T h e o w n e r should find it w i t h o u t a problem.' A r t e m i s didn't feel so bad about the car. He had bigger nails in his coffin.
4
W h a t if I ' m stuck like this? T h a t wouldn't be so bad,
would i t ? ' T h e question hung in the air b e t w e e n t h e m . A question heavy with insecurity and h o p e . If you answer this question, it will be the worst thing you have ever done. 'It wasn't you, Holly,' A r t e m i s b l u r t e d , his forehead h o t , his calm c r a c k e d . Holly's smile froze, still there but puzzled. ' W h a t wasn't me?' 'You didn't infect my m o t h e r . I did it. It was m e . I had
' Y e s , the car,' he said absently.
a few sparks left over from the tunnel and I m a d e my
/ need to tell her. I have to tell her.
parents forget I'd b e e n missing for three years.'
A r t e m i s put a t o e on t h e M i n i ' s front t y r e and c l i m b e d
Holly's smile was g o n e now.
on to t h e b o n n e t b e s i d e Holly. He sat t h e r e for a few
'I didn't . . . but you told me . . .'
minutes, concentrating on the e x p e r i e n c e . Storing it
She stopped in m i d - s e n t e n c e , the truth washing across
away. Holly glanced at him sitting n e x t to her.
her face like a disease. Artemis pressed on, determined to explain himself. 'I had
' S o r r y about earlier. You know, the thing.'
to do it, Holly. M o t h e r is dying . . . will be dying. I needed
' T h e kiss?'
to be certain of your help . . . Please understand . . .'
Holly closed h e r eyes. 'Yes. I don't k n o w what's happening
He trailed off, realizing that there was no explaining
to m e . W e ' r e n o t even the same species. And, when we go
away his actions. A r t e m i s allowed Holly several minutes to
b a c k , we will be ourselves again.' Holly covered h e r face
fume, then spoke again.
with h e r free hand. 'Listen to m e . Babbling. T h e L E P ' s first
' I f t h e r e had b e e n another way, Holly, believe me . . .'
female captain. That t i m e stream has turned me into what
No r e a c t i o n . Holly's face was carved in stone.
you would call a teenager again.'
' P l e a s e , Holly. Say something.'
It was t r u e . Holly was different; the t i m e stream had brought t h e m closer together.
Holly slid from the b o n n e t , h e r feet c o n n e c t i n g solidly with the earth.
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170
'Fifteen minutes are u p / she said. ' T i m e to m o v e out.
7
4
1 le was on his rounds up h e r e w h e n I t u n n e l l e d in, so
She strode across the M c G r a n e y boundary without a
I -.wallowed h i m briefly and gave h i m a l i c k of d w a r f spit.
b a c k w a r d glance, legs cutting twin swathes in the green-
I veryone reacts differently to the p h l e g m h e l m e t . This
black grass. D a w n sunlight s h i m m e r e d on the tip of each
little pixie t r i e d to escape. Slapped the sensor, spouted the
blade and Holly's passage set a surging ripple of light flashing
jjpde, then staggered around a b i t b e f o r e the sedative g o t
across the meadow. Extraordinary, thought A r t e m i s . What have I lost?
Artemis pressed past into the access tunnel.
T h e r e was nothing to do but trudge after her.
'Perhaps our luck is finally turning,' he said, certain he c o u l d feel Holly staring daggers into the b a c k of his head.
M u l c h Diggums was waiting for t h e m inside the holographic
'A pity he didn't open the lock-up,' sighed M u l c h . ' T h e n
bush at the shuttle port's c o n c e a l e d e n t r a n c e . In spite of a
I could have double-crossed you t w o and m a d e off with the
thick coating of m u d , his smug expression was easy to read.
shuttle.'
'You w o n ' t be needing an O m i n t o o l , Captain,' he said. 'I g o t the d o o r open all on my l o n e s o m e . '
Artemis froze. ' S h u t t l e ? ' He braved Holly's hostile gaze to ask. 'A shuttle, Holly.
Holly was m o r e than surprised. T h e shuttle port's main
I)() you think we could still beat my younger self to M o r o c c o ? '
d o o r n e e d e d a twenty-digit c o d e , plus palm-print scan, and
Holly's eyes w e r e flat and h e r t o n e was neutral. 'It's
she k n e w that M u l c h was about as technologically m i n d e d
possible. It depends on h o w long it takes me to cover our
as a stink w o r m . N o t that Holly wasn't relieved, as she had
i racks/
anticipated a thirty-minute slog resetting the log o n c e she'd o p e n e d the d o o r herself.
The shuttle was what L E P pilots would call a snowgood,
' S o . . . tell m e . '
as in snowgood for anything but the recycling smelter. Butler,
M u l c h pointed down the c o r r i d o r towards the subter-
Artemis knew, would have b e e n m o r e straightforward in
ranean escalator. A small figure was spreadeagled on the r a m p , his head covered in a blob of shining g o o . ' C o m m a n d e r R o o t and his heavy m o b have cleared out. O n l y o n e security guard left.' Holly nodded. She k n e w w h e r e Julius R o o t had g o n e . B a c k to Haven to wait for h e r r e p o r t from Hamburg.
his assessment of the vehicle. He could hear the big bodyguard's voice in his head. / have driven some heaps in my time, Artemis. But this pig is . . . '. . . is barely out of the S t o n e Age,' m u r m u r e d A r t e m i s , then c h u c k l e d ruefully. ' A n o t h e r j o k e , M u d B o y ? ' asked Holly. ' Y o u ' r e really on
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AAAA
173
172
fine f o r m today. W h a t is it this t i m e ? D i d you tell s o m e p o o r trusting fool that they caused a plague?'
T m telling t h e m that this shuttle's paddle has b e e n upgraded as p e r the service o r d e r and that the ship has
A r t e m i s hung his head wearily.This could go on for years.
been requested by the n o r t h African shuttle p o r t to do a
Mulch had stumbled across the shuttle when he'd tunnelled
supply
to the p o r t wall and wind-blasted a sheet of metal cladding
a r t e r y declogging. It's a drone flight, so they w o n ' t
DC looking for any p e r s o n n e l on board.'
from a service-tunnel wall. He k n e w the panel would be
Artemis was d e t e r m i n e d to give the mission every chance
loose, because he had utilized this point of entry on previous
If success, in spite of the bridges he had b u r n e d . S o , if a
visits. T h e shuttle had been up on blocks and under a lube-
question had to be asked, he would ask it.
tent and so Mulch could not resist a little peek. Lo and behold,
' W i l l that w o r k ? '
a tunnel scraper, in for refitting. Just the thing for hopping
I lolly shrugged. T doubt it. T h e r e ' s probably a s m a r t
around the People's network of subterannean access tunnels.
missile waiting for us on the o t h e r side of that door.'
It had been a simple matter for Holly to reverse the clunky
'Really?'
shuttle back down the monorail to the tunnel access hatch.
' N o . I ' m lying. N o t n i c e , is i t ? '
M e a n w h i l e , A r t e m i s had b e e n covering their t r a c k s ,
Artemis shook his head miserably. He would have to
removing all traces of their visit to the shuttle p o r t — wiping
11 link of s o m e way to m a k e it up to Holly. At least partially.
video crystals and replacing the lost t i m e with loops. T h e r e
' O f c o u r s e it will w o r k . F o r now, at least. By the t i m e
wasn't m u c h he could do about the unconscious sprite or
I \ >l ice Plaza puts all of this together, we should have r e t u r n e d
the loader's w o r t h of L E P hardware they had helped t h e m -
to the future.'
selves to from the l o c k - u p , but M u l c h had had no p r o b l e m
'And we can fly without a paddle?'
taking credit for those.
Holly and M u l c h shared a guffaw and a few words in
'Hey, I ' m already public e n e m y n u m b e r one,' he had said. Tt's n o t as if I can go any higher on the list.'
C m o m m i s h that w e r e t o o fast for A r t e m i s to catch. He did think he heard the w o r d cowpog, which translated as moron. ' Y e s , M u d Boy. We can fly without a paddle, unless you're
So n o w they w e r e seated inside the tunnel scraper, w h i c h
planning to scrape s o m e residue from the tunnel walls.
was slotted into a launching b r a c k e t , drawing a few minute's
I Isually we leave that to the robots.'
charge from the coupling d o c k b e f o r e they dropped into the abyss. Holly spent the t i m e falsifying a r e p o r t for the tunnel authorities.
A r t e m i s had forgotten h o w cutting Holly could be with people she wasn't fond of. M u l c h sang a few bars of the old human song 'You've
174
Lost T h a t Lovin' F e e l i n " . He c r o o n e d at Holly, clutching an imaginary m i c r o p h o n e in his fist. Holly was n o t smiling now. ' Y o u ' r e about to lose all feeling in your legs, D i g g u m s , if you d o n ' t shut it.' M u l c h n o t i c e d Holly's expression and realized that now
A FOWL ttiOOD
C H A P T E R 10:
was n o t the b e s t t i m e to be needling her. Holly decided it was t i m e to t e r m i n a t e the conversation. She r e m o t e - o p e n e d the access hatch and w i t h d r e w the docking clamps. ' B u c k l e up, boys,' she said, and dropped the small craft into a steep dive down an e n o r m o u s h o l e , like dropping a
FEZ, HIOROCCO
peanut into the m o u t h of a hungry hippo. TEFI-year-old A r t e m i s was about as miser-
/J
able as B u t l e r could r e m e m b e r seeing him,
f
, ^ \ ii ^y\ (
;
e x c e p t for perhaps the t i m e he had lost a science prize to an Australian postgraduate.
The bodyguard glanced in the m i r r o r of the r e n t e d Land Rover, and saw that his young charge was sitting in a puddle <>l perspiration, his expensive suit virtually dissolving on his spare frame. A perforated b o x sat b e l t e d on the seat beside A r t e m i s . Three black fingers poked from one of the holes as the captured l e m u r e x p l o r e d his prison. Artemis has barely looked at the creature. He is trying to objec-
tify
it. It is no small thing to cause the extinction of a species,
even to save one's father. A r t e m i s , meanwhile, was cataloguing the causes of his misery. A missing father and a m o t h e r teetering on the brink
176
177
of nervous collapse w e r e n u m b e r s one and two. Followed
hfiopeds slalomed through the lanes, often bearing entire
by a team of A r c t i c e x p l o r e r s running up expenses in a
i a m i l i e s on their rusting frames. T h e roadside buildings
M o s c o w hotel r o o m , doubtless living on r o o m service, caviar
shimmered in the late afternoon sun like mirages. Ghost
with everything. D a m o n Kronski figured high on the list
Rouses, with tea-drinking spectres seated out at the front.
t o o . A repulsive m a n , with repellent ideals.
C l o s e r to the city c e n t r e the buildings w e r e denser with
T h e local airport, Fez Saiss, had b e e n closed and so
io 1 racts of d e s e r t in b e t w e e n . Dwellings w e r e interspersed
B u t l e r had b e e n forced t o detour the Learjet t o M o h a m m e d
with
V International in Casablanca and r e n t a Land R o v e r there.
A11 were the same sandblasted orange colour, with patches
And n o t a m o d e r n Land R o v e r either. This o n e belonged
of original paint poking through b e l o w the lintels.
garages and video stores, tea shops and pizza parlours.
in the last m i l l e n n i u m and had m o r e holes than a b l o c k of
Artemis felt, as he always did w h e n visiting developing
G r u y e r e c h e e s e . T h e air-conditioning had spluttered its last
nations, mild surprise at the c o e x i s t e n c e of ancient and
over a hundred miles ago and the seat padding was worn
m o d e r n . G o a t herders t o t e d iPods on spangled chains and
so thin that A r t e m i s felt like he was sitting on a j a c k h a m m e r .
wore
If the heat didn't bake him, the vibration would shake him
bolted to their c o r r u g a t e d roofs.
to death.
M a n c h e s t e r U n i t e d shirts. Shacks had satellite dishes
Until r e c e n t t i m e s , Fez had b e e n a place of real i m p o r -
Still, in spite of all these things, a thought s t r u c k A r t e m i s ,
tance, being the depot for the caravan trade from the south
causing the c o r n e r of his m o u t h to t w i t c h in a half smile.
a n d east. It was k n o w n as a c e n t r e of Arab w i s d o m , a holy
That strange creature and her human companion are utterly
< ily, and a place of pilgrimage w h e n the r o u t e to M e c c a
fascinating.
was closed by weather conditions or overrun with bandits.
T h e y w e r e desperate to have this l e m u r and they would n o t give up. He was certain of it.
N o w it had b e c o m e a place w h e r e outlawed E x t i n c t i o n ists did deals with desperate Irish criminals.
A r t e m i s t u r n e d his attention to the city suburbs bouncing
The world is changing more rapidly now than it ever has before,
past his window. T h e d e s e r t highway was suddenly thick
thought A r t e m i s . And I am helping to change it,for the worst.
with traffic as they neared the city c e n t r e . Giant trucks
N o t a c o m f o r t i n g thought, but c o m f o r t was n o t a luxury
thundered past, tyres taller than a g r o w n m a n , their flat-
he e x p e c t e d to enjoy in the near future.
beds stuffed with sullen human cargo. H a r r i e d donkeys'
A r t e m i s ' s m o b i l e phone buzzed as an i n c o m i n g t e x t
hooves clicked on the b r o k e n t a r m a c , their backs piled high
message arrived, having m a d e its way from Fez to Ireland
with sticks, laundry or even furniture. Thousands of dusty
and b a c k to M o r o c c o .
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179
He c h e c k e d the screen and a mirthless smile exposed his incisors. The leather souq. Two hours, read the message. Kronski wished to m a k e the e x c h a n g e in a public place. Apparently the doctor trusts me about as much as I trust him. Smart man.
And so she could understand what A r t e m i s had done — even though she felt it was unnecessary — but that did n o t mean she could forgive him j u s t yet. And h o w could she forget it? It felt as though she had c o m p l e t e l y misjudged their friendship. That won't happen again. O n e thing that Holly was certain of: the m o s t she and
Holly piloted the shuttle as though she w e r e angry with it, slamming the mining craft round bends until its air brakes
Artemis could ever have n o w was what they'd always had grudging r e s p e c t .
s c r e a m e d and its readout needles shot into the r e d . She
Holly patched into the passenger-seat b u b b l e - c a m on the
w o r e a flight h e l m e t hard-wired directly into the shuttle's
shuttle ceiling and was gratified to see A r t e m i s clutching
c a m e r a s , so a wraparound view of the shuttle was available
the armrests on his seat. Perhaps it was the c a m e r a feed
to h e r at all t i m e s ; she could even c h o o s e a r e m o t e view
or perhaps his face was actually g r e e n .
b e a m e d to the shuttle from the tunnel's various cameras. This particular stretch of tunnel saw little traffic and so the
You blew it, Mud Boy, thought Holly, and then, / hope it's your face and not the feed.
m o t i o n - s e n s i t i v e lights would pop on barely five m i l e s before the shuttle e n t e r e d a stretch.
T h e r e was a natural vent in the M o r o c c a n d e s e r t , south of
Holly tried hard to enjoy the e x p e r i e n c e of flying and
Agadir, w h e r e tunnel gas filtered up through half a m i l e
forget everything else. Being a pilot for the L E P was what
of sand. T h e only evidence of this was a slight discoloration
she had d r e a m e d of since childhood. As she cut yet another
of the sand above the vent, which was quickly dispersed by
c o r n e r with a m i l l i m e t r e to spare, and felt the shuttle strain
the winds as soon as it reached the surface. Nevertheless, a
to its limits in h e r hands, the tension drained from h e r
thousand years of the process had left the dunes with curious
body as though absorbed by the craft.
red streaks, which the local villagers swore was blood from
Artemis lied to me and blackmailed me, but he did it for his
the victims of Raisuli, a famous twentieth-century bandit.
mother. A good reason. Who's to say that I would not have done
It was highly unlikely that anyone swallowed these claims,
the same thing myself? If I could have saved my mother, I would
least of all the villagers themselves, but it made g o o d reading
have done whatever I needed to do, including manipulate my
in the guidebooks and d r e w visitors to the o t h e r w i s e un-
friends.
remarkable area.
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181
Holly drilled the craft through the vent, sealing the
.1 place to start. If Kronski and my younger self do n o t
shuttle's own air filters against the tiny sand particles. She
I u )w up, then we p r o c e e d to the E x t i n c t i o n i s t s ' c o m p o u n d . '
was flying virtually blind with only a three-dimensional
I lolly frowned. ' H m m . This s c h e m e is n o t up to your
m o d e l of the vent to navigate by. Luckily, it was a short
usual
leg of the trip and it t o o k m e r e seconds for the shuttle to
a couple of days to play around with. T i m e is the enemy.'
punch through to the African sky. In spite of the craft's insulated skin, its passengers soon began to feel the heat. Especially M u l c h Diggums. Unlike the o t h e r fairy families, dwarfs w e r e n o t surface creatures and did n o t dream of golden sun on their upturned faces. Anything higher than sea level gave t h e m vertigo.
l
standards and our t i m e is running out. W e d o n ' t have
Y e s , ' agreed A r t e m i s . ' T i m e is the c r u x of this entire
misadventure.' Holly t o o k a n u t r i - b l o c k from the tiny refrigerator and returned to h e r controls. A r t e m i s studied his friend's b a c k , trying to read h e r body language. H u n c h e d , r o u n d e d shoulders and a r m s
M u l c h burped wetly. 'This is t o o high. I d o n ' t like this.
crossed in front of h e r body. She was cutting h e r s e l f off,
H o t , t o o darned h o t . I n e e d to go to the b a t h r o o m . F o r
hostile to c o m m u n i c a t i o n . He n e e d e d to produce s o m e
what I ' m n o t sure exactly. J u s t d o n ' t follow me in t h e r e .
masterstroke to get h i m s e l f b a c k in h e r g o o d b o o k s .
W h a t e v e r you hear, d o n ' t c o m e in.' W h e n a dwarf gave this s o r t of advice, it was wise n o t to ignore it. Holly sent a charge through the windscreen to clear it,
Artemis pressed his nose to the p o r t h o l e , watching the M o r o c c a n desert flash past in streaks of o c h r e and gold. There must be something that Holly wanted. Something she regretted n o t doing that in s o m e way he could facilitate.
then pointed the shuttle's nose north-east towards Fez. W i t h
After a m o m e n t ' s c o n c e n t r a t e d thought, it c a m e to him.
a bit of luck, they could still b e a t little A r t e m i s to the
Hadn't he seen a field holograph pack on one of the storage
rendezvous point.
rails? And wasn't there s o m e o n e to w h o m Holly had never
She set the autopilot and swivelled h e r seat to face
said goodbye?
A r t e m i s , w h o s e face was j u s t returning to its n o r m a l pallor. ' Y o u ' r e sure about the rendezvous point?' she asked. A r t e m i s wasn't sure about anything and this uncertainty
POUCE
PLAZA,
HAVEH CITY, THE
L O W E R ELEHIEHTS
fogged his brain. ' N o t sure, Holly. B u t I clearly r e m e m b e r making the
C o m m a n d e r Julius R o o t was up to the quivering tip of his
e x c h a n g e at the leather souq in Fez. At the very least it is
fungus cigar in paperwork. N o t that it was actual paperwork.
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183
T h e r e hadn't b e e n any L E P files written on real paper in .1
Julius R o o t leaned b a c k in his swivel chair, allowing the
centaur's age. It was all saved on a crystal and kept in .1
. m o k e from his cigar to f o r m a cloud around his head.
central c o r e s o m e w h e r e in info-space, and apparently n o w
There were days w h e n he felt like hanging up his holster
Foaly's people w e r e trying to g r o w m e m o r y plants, which
l< a g o o d . Days w h e n it felt as though there was nothing to
m e a n t that s o m e day information could be stored in plants
I eep him in the j o b .
or dungheaps, or even the cigar sticking out of R o o t ' s mouth. T h e c o m m a n d e r did n o t understand any of this, n o r did he
The h o l o g r a m ring buzzed on the ceiling like a disco b a l l . Incoming call. R o o t c h e c k e d the caller ID.
want to. L e t Foaly have the worlds of nano and cyber tech
Captain Holly S h o r t .
nologies. He would take the world of everyday L E P prob
R o o t allowed h i m s e l f a rare grin.
lems. And there w e r e plenty of those.
T h e n there w e r e days w h e n he k n e w e x a c t l y what he
F i r s t , his old e n e m y M u l c h D i g g u m s was running riot
had to do.
above g r o u n d . It was a l m o s t as if the d w a r f w e r e taunting
/ have to groom the best people to take over when I am gone.
h i m . His latest c r i m e spree involved breaking i n t o shuttle
People like Captain Kelp, Foaly — gods help me — and Captain
p o r t s , then selling his b o o t y on to e x i l e d fairies living
Holly Short.
a m o n g the humans. At each site he would leave a nice
4
R o o t had hand-picked Holly from the ranks. P r o m o t e d
pyramid o f r e c y c l e d earth i n the middle o f the f l o o r , like
her to captain, the first female to hold the title in the L E P ' s
a calling card.
history. And she had done him proud. Every r e c o n so far
T h e n there w e r e those blasted swear toads. A couple of c o l l e g e graduate w a r l o c k s had granted the p o w e r of speech
had b e e n successful, w i t h o u t a single m i n d - w i p e or t i m e stop.
to the c o m m o n bloated tunnel toad. Naturally, being college
She's the one, Julius, said R o o t ' s inner voice. Smart, fear-
graduates, they had only granted the toads the p o w e r of
less, compassionate, Holly Short will make a splendid captain. Who
bad language. Now, thanks to an unforeseen side effect,
knows, maybe a great commander.
namely fertility, there was a virtual e p i d e m i c of these toads
R o o t wiped the smile from his face. Captain Short did not
running around Haven, offending every citizen they hopped
need to see him smiling proudly, like a doting grandfather. She
into.
needed discipline, order and a healthy dollop of respect/fear
T h e goblin gangs w e r e growing in strength and audacity. O n l y last w e e k they had fireballed a patrol car on its r o u t e through goblin t o w n .
AAAA
AAAA
for her commanding officer. He tapped the a c c e p t pad on his desktop s c r e e n , and the h o l o g r a m ring blasted a Milky Way of stars from its
AAAA
184
185
p r o j e c t o r s that swirled and solidified into the flickering form
of Captain Holly
S h o r t wearing a h u m a n suit.
U n d e r c o v e r obviously. He could see h e r exactly as she was,
' W h y the h o l o g r a m , Short? W h a t ' s w r o n g with a plain Did c o m m u n i c a t o r ? Do you k n o w h o w expensive it is to beam sound and vision through the Earth's c r u s t ? '
but she could n o t see him until he stepped into the foot-
I lolly's image flickered and stared at its feet, then up again.
print of the holographic ring, which he did.
4
'Captain S h o r t , all is well in Hamburg, I trust?' Holly seemed speechless for a m o m e n t , her m o u t h hung open and her hands reached out as if to touch the commander. In her time he was dead, murdered by Opal K o b o i , but here and n o w Julius R o o t was as vital as she r e m e m b e r e d .
1 . . . I j u s t wanted to thank you, Jul— C o m m a n d e r . '
R o o t was surprised. Thank him. F o r m o n t h s of imposiible tasks and double shifts. 1
Thank m e , Captain?This is m o s t irregular. I ' m n o t sure
Tm doing my j o b right if fairies are thanking m e . ' ' Y e s , yes you are,' b l u r t e d Holly's i m a g e . ' Y o u do a
R o o t cleared his throat. 'All is well, Captain?'
line
j o b , m o r e than fine. N o o n e a p p r e c i a t e d — a p p r e c i -
'Yes. Of course, C o m m a n d e r . All is well, for the m o m e n t .
ates
you enough. But I do now. I know what you were
Though it might be an idea to have Retrieval on standby.' R o o t dismissed this idea w i t h a wave of his cigar. ' N o n s e n s e . Your r e c o r d so far speaks for itself. You have never n e e d e d back-up before.' Holly smiled. 'Always a first time.' R o o t blinked, something on the h o l o g r a m ring's floating gaseous readout had caught his eye. ' A r e you calling me from Africa? W h a t are you doing in Africa?' Holly slapped her palm against the instrument panel on her end. ' N o , I ' m in Hamburg, in the observation hide. Stupid machine. T h e projectors are all wrong too. I l o o k about ten years old on the monitor. I ' m going to strangle Foaly when I get back.' R o o t c o u l d n ' t help but smile at that, but he t u c k e d it away quickly.
are trying to do for m e . S o , thank y o u , and I w o n ' t l e t y o u down.' R o o t was surprised to find that he was actually t o u c h e d . It wasn't every day he was faced with such genuine e m o t i o n . Look at me, he thought. Blubbering at a hologram. Wouldn't Foaly love this. 'I . . . em . . . I accept your thanks and I believe them to be heartfelt. Although I don't e x p e c t an expensive hologram call during every mission, just the o n c e will be fine.' 'Understood, Commander.' 'And be careful in Hamburg. M a k e sure to c h e c k your equipment.' T will, C o m m a n d e r , ' said Holly, and R o o t could have sworn she rolled h e r eyes, but it could have b e e n another glitch in the p r o g r a m . 'Anything else, Captain?'
186
187
Holly r e a c h e d out her hand; it s h i m m e r e d and wavered
Artemis squirmed slightly in the co-pilot's chair.
slightly with the m o t i o n . R o o t was n o t sure what he was
4
supposed to do. H o l o g r a m etiquette was very clear: hugging
I lolly nodded. 'Yes. W e ' r e even. B u t your elf-kissing days
and shaking w e r e n o t encouraged. After all, w h o wants to e m b r a c e a pixellated image?
S o , are we even?'
.ii e over.' 'I see,' said A r t e m i s .
B u t still the hand was t h e r e .
'It's n o t a challenge, A r t e m i s . O v e r is over.'
' W i s h m e luck, C o m m a n d e r . O n e officer t o another.'
4
1 know,' said A r t e m i s neutrally.
R o o t g r u n t e d . W i t h any o t h e r subordinate he would have
T h e y sat in silence for a while, watching l o w mountains
suspected toadying, but Captain S h o r t had always impressed
•peed across the desert towards t h e m , then Holly leaned
him with h e r candour.
icross and punched A r t e m i s gently on the shoulder.
He r e a c h e d out his hand and felt a slight tingle as it t o u c h e d Holly's virtual digits. ' G o o d luck, Captain,' he said gruffly. 'And try to t o n e down that m a v e r i c k streak. S o m e day I w o n ' t be around to help you.' ' W i l l do, C o m m a n d e r . Goodbye,' said Holly, and then she was g o n e , but in the seconds before h e r holographic image fizzled out Julius R o o t could have sworn he saw rough holographic tears glint on h e r c h e e k s . Stupid machine, he thought. / will demand that Foaly recalibrate the lot of them.
' T h a n k s , Arty.' 'You are m o s t w e l c o m e . All I did was have an idea.' M u l c h e m e r g e d noisily from the b a t h r o o m , scratching and grunting. ' W o o o - o h , that's better.Thank the gods for soundproofing, eh?' Holly w i n c e d . ' C l o s e the d o o r and let the e x t r a c t o r fan do its work.' M u l c h s l a m m e d the d o o r with a flick of his h e e l . 'I was thinking in t h e r e , you know, rooo-minating.' 'I d o n ' t think I want to hear this.' M u l c h ploughed on regardless. ' T h a t little lemur. T h e
Holly stepped out of the h o l o - b o o t h , which r e s e m b l e d an
silky whatever. You k n o w w h o he reminds me of with that
ancient shower unit with r u b b e r curtain. W i t h the t o u c h
buzz-cut hairdo?'
of a b u t t o n it collapsed and self-sealed into the portable
T h e y had all b e e n thinking it.
briefcase.
' C o m m a n d e r R o o t , ' said Holly, smiling.
T h e r e w e r e tears in h e r eyes as she strapped h e r s e l f into the pilot's chair and flicked off autopilot.
'Yep. A miniature C o m m a n d e r R o o t . ' 'Julius Junior,' said A r t e m i s .
188
T h e y crested the foothills of the Atlas Mountains and Fez was revealed like the heart of the land, its arteries clogged with vehicles. 'Jayjay,' said Holly. T h a t ' s his n a m e . N o w let's go get him.'
PIGEOll DROPPI11GS
CHAPTER II:
She switched on the shuttle's shield and initiated their descent into Fez.
I HE
LEATHER SOUQ,
'uy\f\
F E Z taEDIIlA
H O L L Y inflated
a cham pod and suckered
I it to the shadowy underside of the stone balcony >f$J\
overlooking Fez's leather souq. W h e n the coast was clear, she and Artemis climbed through the
liny access portal, wiggling into the blow-up seats. Artemis's knees knocked against his chin, clicking his teeth. 'Like I said, you're getting tall,' said Holly. A r t e m i s b l e w a raven l o c k from his eye. 'And hairy.' 'Your hair was the only thing that stopped little A r t y recognizing himself, so be glad of it.' Holly had liberated the c h a m - p o d duffel bag from the Tara lock-up along with a single N e u t r i n o handgun and suitable disguises. A r t e m i s w o r e a knee-length b r o w n shirt and thong sandals, while Holly's fairy characteristics were hidden by a headscarf and an abaya. T h e c h a m p o d was an old p o r t a b l e m o d e l and was
190
191
basically a ball w i t h a t r a n s p a r e n t o u t e r layer that was
1
Since birth Kronski has suffered from anosmia,' Artemis
inflated by a tank of c h r o m o - v a r i a b l e gas that c o u l d change
I \ plained. ' H e has no sense of smell. It amuses him to conduct
c o l o u r to i m i t a t e the b a c k g r o u n d . T h a t was a b o u t as high-
his business here, as whoever he happens to be meeting will
tech as it got. No directional equipment, no on-board
be virtually assaulted by the smell from the acid vats. T h e i r
weaponry, j u s t a o n e - w a y t o u c h s c r e e n and t w o c r a m p e d
concentration is shattered and his is unaffected.'
seats.
' Clever.'
' N o air filters?' w o n d e r e d A r t e m i s .
'Fiendishly so. T h e area is a tourist attraction, so many
'Unfortunately not,' said Holly, pulling h e r scarf across h e r n o s e . ' W h a t is that smell?'
people will pass through, but none hang around for t o o long.' ' P l e n t y o f spectators but n o t many witnesses.'
' D i l u t e d pigeon droppings,' replied A r t e m i s . 'Highly
'Apart from the locals, and Kronski doubtless has a dozen
acidic and, of c o u r s e , plentiful. T h e tannery w o r k e r s use it
<>f those on his payroll, and they will see what he wants
to soften the hides before dyeing them.'
diem to see.' A r t e m i s leaned forward, his nose brushing the
T h e leather souq spread out b e l o w them was a spectacular sight. Huge stone vats were arranged across the court-
plastic portal. 'And here is our fiendish Extinctionist now. Right on cue.'
yard in h o n e y c o m b patterns, each filled with either acidic
T h e souq b e l o w was thronged with leather workers and
softeners or vegetable dyes such as saffron and henna. T h e
merchants, long since inured to the sharp odour of the vats,
leather workers stood in the dye vats, soaking each skin thor-
(i roups of die-hard tourists flitted through, d e t e r m i n e d to
oughly, including their own, and, when the hide had attained
Capture the scene on their cameras but unwilling to suffer
the desired hue, it was stretched on a nearby rooftop to dry.
the heat and smells for longer than a few shutter clicks. And
' P e o p l e say that H e n r y Ford invented the production
among t h e m all, serene and smiling, strode D o c t o r D a m o n
line,' said A r t e m i s . 'This place has b e e n going for six hundred
Kronski, dressed in a preposterous tailored camouflage suit,
years.'
c o m p l e t e with a general's peaked hat.
T h e souq was enclosed by high walls painted white but m o t t l e d by dye and dust. O c h r e stains spread across the ancient b r i c k like the faded map of s o m e e x o t i c archipelago.
Holly was sickened by the m a n and h o w he obviously relished his surroundings. ' L o o k at him. He loves this.'
' W h y did Kronski c h o o s e the souq?' w o n d e r e d Holly.
A r t e m i s did n o t c o m m e n t . He had sold the l e m u r and
' T h e stink is almost unbearable, and I say that as a friend
he judged that a c r i m e w o r s e than Kronski's. Instead, he
o f M u l c h Diggums.'
searched the souq for a smaller version of himself.
8 *8 o 4 8
- • ©
- c ^ e8
*8 o 4 8
£
192
193
' T h e r e I am. West c o r n e r / Holly switched h e r gaze to locate young A r t e m i s . He
'I hand over Jayjay. T h e n we go our separate ways, simple a s (hat. T h e r e w e r e n o complications.'
stood almost hidden by a huge tiled urn b r i m m i n g with
'Perhaps we should wait until after the handover?'
m i n t - g r e e n dye. T h e sinking sun was a c h o p p e d silver disc
' N o . W h a t happens afterwards is an unknown quantity.
on its surface. A r t e m i s smiled. / remember standing in that exact spot, so the glare would distract Kronski. It is the only vat touched by the sun at this time. A little payback for the smell. Childish, perhaps, but then I was a child. Tt looks like your m e m o r y is accurate on this o c c a s i o n / said Holly. A r t e m i s c o u l d n ' t help but be relieved. His r e c o l l e c t i o n had b e e n hit-and-miss up to now.
At least n o w we have s o m e foreknowledge.' Holly studied the scene with a veteran's eye. ' W h e r e ' s Butler?' Artemis t o u c h e d another point on the s c r e e n . It rippled slightly, flexed and enlarged his selection. 'In that window. Watching over everything.' T h e w i n d o w was a high rectangle in the flaking white wall, painted black by shade and depth. 'You think you're invisible, d o n ' t you, my friend?' Holly
He straightened suddenly. Hit-and-miss. How could he not
whispered, then highlighted the w i n d o w with a t h u m b and
have seen it? These memory malfunctions could mean only one thing.
activated a night-vision filter. In the sudden g l o w of body
No t i m e to pursue that thought now. T h e e x c h a n g e was
heat, a hulking figure appeared in the window, still as stone,
afoot.
e x c e p t for a beating h e a r t .
A r t e m i s tapped the t o u c h - s c r e e n with his index finger,
T r e m e m b e r that B u t l e r w a n t e d to m a k e the e x c h a n g e ,
expanding a section. Closing in on a plinth at the c e n t r e
but I talked him out of it. He's up there right now, fuming.'
of the souq. T h e l o w stone tabletop was grooved and curved
' B u t l e r fuming is n o t something I want to see up close.'
from centuries of being piled high with hides. W e t henna
A r t e m i s laid a hand on h e r shoulder. ' T h e n d o n ' t get
glistened on its surface and dribbled down its sides, like
t o o close. A distraction is all we n e e d . I wish there had
b l o o d from a head injury.
b e e n an L E P j u m p s u i t in that lock-up. If you w e r e invis-
' T h e r e , ' said A r t e m i s . 'That's w h e r e we agreed to m a k e the e x c h a n g e . Kronski lays the suitcase on the r o c k . I hand it over.' ' H i m . He's a m a l e , and his n a m e is Jayjay,' said Holly, making it real.
ible to m a n and m a c h i n e , I would be m o r e c o m f o r t a b l e with this.' Holly twisted h e r chin, calling h e r m a g i c , and blobs of h e r disappeared until there was nothing left in the seat but haze.
195
194
' D o n ' t worry, Artemis,' she said, her voice sounding almost
A r t e m i s - a l l o w e d h i m s e l f a m o m e n t to m e d i t a t e . He
r o b o t i c because of the vibration. 'I have b e e n on missions
closed his eyes, taking shallow breaths through his m o u t h . Very well, he thought. To business, Doctor Kronski.
before. You are n o t the only smart one in the souq.'
I uckily the d o c t o r was e n o r m o u s , and, as A r t e m i s made
A r t e m i s was n o t in the least c h e e r e d by this. 'All the m o r e reason to be careful. I wish there'd b e e n a set of wings
In
in the t e r m i n a l . W h a t sort of lock-up doesn't have wings?'
the opposite diagonal.
' P o t luck,' said Holly, h e r voice floating through the expandable seal o f the p o r t a l . ' W e g o t what w e got.'
way through the souq, he quickly spotted Kronski on
Look at that poseur. A camouflage suit! Does he honestly believe himself a general in some war against the animal kingdom?
' W e got what we got,' repeated A r t e m i s , following Holly's
Artemis h i m s e l f d r e w surprised stares from the locals,
progress down the steps and across the courtyard with the
lourists w e r e n o t unusual in the souq, but l o n e ten-year-
infra-red filter. 'Terrible grammar.'
old boys in formal suits, carrying m o n k e y cages, w e r e rare in any part of the w o r l d .
Ten-year-old A r t e m i s felt as though he had b e e n dipped in
It is a simple matter. Walk to the centre and set down the cage.
a j a r of honey and left to bake on the surface of the sun.
But even walking through this souq was n o t simple.
His g a r m e n t s had m o u l d e d themselves to his skin and a
W o r k e r s bustled through the lanes b e t w e e n vats, laden with
t o r n a d o of flies revolved round his head. A r t e m i s ' s throat
dozens of sopping hides. Strings of dye flew through the
was sandpaper dry, and he could hear his breath and pulse
striping the clothes o f tourists and o t h e r w o r k e r s .
as though he w e r e wearing a h e l m e t . And the stench. T h e stench was a h o t wind gusting in his nose and eyes.
A r t e m i s was forced to tread carefully and give way several times b e f o r e he eventually r e a c h e d the small clearing at the centre.
/ must persevere, he thought with a focused d e t e r m i n a -
Kronski was there before h i m , p e r c h e d on the tiny stool
tion beyond his years. Father needs me. Also, I refuse to be cowed
that folded out from the top of his hunting cane, puffing
by this odious man.
on a thin cigar.
T h e souq was a confusing kaleidoscope of pumping limbs,
'Apparently, I ' m missing out on half the e x p e r i e n c e , ' he
splashing dye and evening shadows. And, from A r t e m i s ' s
said, as though they w e r e simply continuing a conversation.
point of view, things w e r e even m o r e confusing. E l b o w s
' T h e best part of a cigar is the aroma, and I c a n ' t smell a
flashed past, urns rang like bells and the air was shattered
thing.'
by sharp bolts of F r e n c h and Arabic above his head.
Artemis was silently infuriated.The man looked completely
197
196
comfortable, with barely a drop of sweat on his brow. He
I mii n o t his whereabouts. His fingers twitched once m o r e and
forced himself to smile.
ih< n were still.
' D o you have the money, D a m o n ? ' At least he could annoy the g o o d d o c t o r by neglecting his title.
1
Very well, Ah-temis. Let's get this business over with. I ' m
iik
K r o n s k i did n o t s e e m annoyed. ' G o t i t r i g h t h e r e , Ah-temis,' he said, patting his breast p o c k e t . 'A hundred
'( )l c o u r s e . And I ' m sure you appreciate that I will n e e d to s e e a sample of your currency.'
thousand is such a trifling a m o u n t , I managed to stuff every last n o t e into my suit p o c k e t . '
you appreciate that I need to inspect the merchandise.'
1
Why, of course.' Kronski wiggled his hand into a p o c k e t withdrew a fat envelope b r i m m i n g with purple five-
iiMI
A r t e m i s could n o t resist a j i b e . 'And what a lovely suit it is.'
I ii n id red-euro n o t e s . He carelessly selected o n e and passed II across to A r t e m i s .
Kronski's v i o l e t - c o l o u r e d glasses flashed in the last rays
l
( J o n n a smell it, are you, A h - t e m i s ? '
of the sun. ' U n l i k e your o w n , my boy, which appears to be
l
N o t exactly.' A r t e m i s flipped open his m o b i l e phone
losing its character in this heat.'
.IIKI
It was t r u e ; A r t e m i s felt that the only thing holding him upright was the dried sweat on his spine. He was hungry, tired and irritable.
selected a U V and m a g n e t i c c u r r e n c y scanner from its
augmented m e n u . He passed the n o t e in front of the purple light, c h e c k i n g for the w a t e r m a r k and m e t a l strip. K r o n s k i p r e s s e d a hand to his h e a r t . T am w o u n d e d ,
Focus. The end justifies the sacrifices.
hoy, i n j u r e d , that you should t h i n k I w o u l d c h e a t y o u .
' W e l l , obviously I have the lemur, so can we please
Why, it w o u l d c o s t m o r e than a h u n d r e d thousand to
proceed?'
Forge a h u n d r e d t h o u s a n d . A g o o d set of plates c o s t s t w i c e
Kronski's fingers t w i t c h e d , and A r t e m i s could guess what he was thinking.
A r t e m i s closed the p h o n e . T am n o t a trusting p e r s o n ,
Take the lemur from the boy. Just grab it. No need to part with the hundred thousand.
case
you're
D a m o n . Y o u ' l l learn that about m e . ' He placed the cage on the stone plinth. 'Now, your turn.'
A r t e m i s decided to nip this kind of thinking in the bud. 'In
that.'
entertaining
any
rash
notions
In that m o m e n t , Kronski's entire attitude changed. His
of
offhand nature vanished, replaced with a giddiness. He smiled
r e n e g i n g o n o u r a g r e e m e n t , l e t m e say j u s t o n e w o r d t o
and tittered, tiptoeing to the cage like a child to the Christmas
y o u : Butler'
tree.
O n e word was enough. Kronski knew Butler's reputation,
Perhaps a normal child, thought A r t e m i s sourly. Christmas
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198
morning holds no surprises for me, thanks to the X-ray scanner
buttons, w h i c h Holly was n o w sprinkling into the un-
on my mobile phone.
attended dye vats around the souq, with a double helping
Obviously the p r o s p e c t of extinguishing the life spark of another species e x c i t e d Kronski hugely. He leaned over the cage daintily, squinting through the airholes. ' Y e s , yes. All appears to be in order. B u t I will n e e d to take a c l o s e r look.' ' O n e hundred thousand euro buys you all the closer looks you need.' Kronski tossed the envelope to A r t e m i s . ' O h , take it, you t i r e s o m e boy. You really distress m e , A h - t e m i s . A boy like you c a n ' t have many friends.' 'I've g o t o n e friend,' r e t o r t e d A r t e m i s , p o c k e t i n g the money. 'And he's bigger than you.' Kronski o p e n e d the b o x j u s t wide enough t o grab the l e m u r by the scruff of the n e c k . He hoisted the animal aloft like a trophy, checking him from all angles. A r t e m i s t o o k a step b a c k , casting suspicious glances around the souq. Perhaps nothing is going to happen, he thought. Perhaps those creatures were not as resourceful as I believed. I may have to be content with the hundred thousand for now. And then the resourceful creatures arrived.
underneath Butler's window. T h o u g h she was invisible, Holly t o o k e x t r a care with her m o v e m e n t s , as shielding w i t h o u t a suit was wild m a g i c indeed. Any sudden gestures or collisions could cause h e r body to vent magical fireworks, which would l o o k strange igniting out of thin air. S o , softly, softly was the way to m o v e . Holly dropped the last of the b u t t o n s , feeling totally vulnerable in spite of h e r invisibility. / miss Foaly's guidance, she thought. It's nice to have an allseeing eye. As if he could read h e r m i n d , A r t e m i s ' s voice c a m e from the mike-bud in h e r ear. A n o t h e r gift from the lock-up. ' K r o n s k i is opening the cage. G e t ready to b l o w the buttons.' 'All set. I ' m at the n o r t h - w e s t c o r n e r if Jayjay tries to run.' T see you on the filter. D e t o n a t e at will.' Holly c l i m b e d into an e m p t y vat and fixed h e r gaze on Kronski. He had the l e m u r out now, holding it away from his body. Perfect. She ran a finger along the small strip in h e r hand, until
Holly did n o t have wings to fly but that did n o t m e a n she
all the tiny lights t u r n e d g r e e n . A o n e - w o r d message scrolled
couldn't cause havoc. T h e r e had b e e n no weapons in the
across the strip.
L E P lock-up beyond the single N e u t r i n o , but there had
Detonate?
b e e n s o m e mining equipment, including a few dozen blaster
Absolutely, thought Holly, and pressed the yes b o x .
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201
A vat blew, sending a c o l u m n of r e d dye shooting six
T h e last drops of dye fell, and slowly the chaos r e t r e a t e d .
m e t r e s into the air. Several m o r e vats quickly followed suit,
T h e leather w o r k e r s shook their heads in wonder, then
thumping like m o r t a r s , hurling their c o n t e n t s into the
began to curse their l u c k . A day's profit g o n e .
M o r o c c o sky.
Kronski squealed for several seconds after the dust had
A symphony of colour, thought A r t e m i s from his p e r c h . Butler's view is totally obscured.
cleared, holding the n o t e like an opera singer. A r t e m i s grinned nastily. Tt isn't over until the fat lady
B e l o w in the souq, p a n d e m o n i u m was instantaneous.
sings, so I suppose it's over.'
T h e leather w o r k e r s roared and shouted, oohing like spec-
T h e d o c t o r was snapped out of it by A r t e m i s ' s t o n e s .
tators at a fireworks show as each n e w c o l o u r e d fountain
He c o m p o s e d himself, standing on t w o feet and breathing
erupted. S o m e realized that their precious leathers w e r e
deeply as the red spots r e t r e a t e d from his c h e e k s . It was
being coated with the w r o n g hues and began to feverishly
n o t until he tried to w i p e the gunk from his hand that he
gather their wares and t o o l s . W i t h i n seconds it was raining
realized the l e m u r was no l o n g e r in his grasp.
gouts of dye, and the spaces b e t w e e n the vats w e r e thronged with frantic w o r k e r s and spooked tourists. Young A r t e m i s s t o o d s t o c k still, ignoring the flying dye, his gaze fixed on D a m o n K r o n s k i and the l e m u r in his fist. Watch the animal. They want the animal.
As he stared in disbelief at his fingers, Kronski felt the stuff coating his fingers harden into a glowing gauntlet. ' W h a t have you d o n e , A r t e m i s ? ' Ah, thought A r t e m i s . Suddenly you can pronounce my name. T have done nothing, D a m o n . I delivered the l e m u r ; you
Kronski squealed with each explosion, balancing on a single leg like a scared ballet dancer.
lost h i m . T h e p r o b l e m s h e r e are all yours.' Kronski was livid. He t o r e off his glasses to reveal red-
Priceless, thought A r t e m i s , and shot a few seconds of
r i m m e d eyes. 'You have t r i c k e d m e , F o w l . Somehow, you
video on his p h o n e . S o m e t h i n g else was about to happen;
are a participant in this. I cannot host an E x t i n c t i o n i s t
he felt sure of it.
c o n f e r e n c e without a strong opening. T h e e x e c u t i o n of that
And he was right. A r t e m i s had a vague impression that the earth e x p l o d e d in front of Kronski's feet. M u d mushr o o m e d upwards, something m o v e d in the curtain of earth and then the l e m u r was g o n e .
glowed slightly in the evening shadows.
AAAA
A r t e m i s ' s phone b e e p e d and he glanced at the s c r e e n . A b r i e f t e x t from Butler. Mission accomplished.
D o c t o r Kronski was left holding a blob of slime, which
/VVSA
l e m u r was my big hello, everyone!
He p o c k e t e d the m o b i l e phone and smiled broadly at Kronski.
/VV\A
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'A strong opening. I may be able to help you with that. F o r a p r i c e , naturally/
Butler. Don't do it, old friend. I know you were never comfortable with my schemes. In three quick strides, the bodyguard moved to Holly's
A r t e m i s the elder sat in the c h a m pod, watching events
vat and netted the e l f in his blanket. She struggled and fought,
unfurling below. Everything w e n t exactly to plan, with the
but never had a chance against Butler's formidable strength.
e x c e p t i o n of the dye vats, w h i c h actually e x c e e d e d Artemis's
In ten seconds, Holly was hog-tied and hoisted over the body-
expectations.
guard's shoulder. In five m o r e seconds Butler was out of the
Butler's view is completely blocked, he thought. And then he
gate and lost in the gathering crowds of the medina.
froze suddenly. Of course! I wouldn't have placed Butler in that
It all happened so quickly that A r t e m i s ' s j a w did n o t
window at all. I would have put a decoy there, as it is one of the
have t i m e to drop. O n e m o m e n t he was in c o n t r o l , enjoying
fve logical places for a sniper to set up. In fact, I would have put
the smugness that c o m e s with being the smartest p e r s o n
a decoy in all fve spots and then have Butler hide himself some-
in the m e t a p h o r i c a l r o o m . T h e n e x t , he was crashing b a c k
where on the souq floor, ready to step in if those pesky lemur-nappers
to earth, having sacrificed his queen for a r o o k , realizing
showed up again, which they very well could, as they seem to know
he was up against s o m e b o d y j u s t as s m a r t as he was, only
my every move. I, Artemis Fowl, have been bamboozled by myself.
t w i c e as ruthless.
Suddenly, a horrifying thought s t r u c k h i m . ' H o l l y ! ' he shouted into the m i c r o p h o n e pad adhered to his thumb. ' A b o r t ! A b o r t ! ' ' W h a t . . .' c a m e the crackly response. ' T h e noise . . . I think . . . damaged.'
He felt the pallor of desperation c r e e p across his forehead, leaving pins and needles in its wake. They have Holly. The Extinctionists will put her on trial on charges of breathing human air. A thought o c c u r r e d to h i m . Every defendant is entitled to
T h e n a few seconds of w h i t e noise, sharp snaps and
a good lawyer.
silence. It was t o o late. A r t e m i s could only press his face against the screen and watch helplessly as o n e of the leather w o r k e r s shrugged off his shoulder blanket and straightened, revealing h i m s e l f to be far taller than he had previously appeared. It was, of c o u r s e , Butler, with a hand-held infra-red scanner extended before him.
/VW\
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/VVSA
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205
Artemis was glad of the thinking space. By the t i m e the I and R o v e r was cleared through the reinforced gates, he had any wrinkles in his strategy straightened out and he'd used the spare t w o minutes to plot one of the r o m a n c e novels he occasionally w r o t e under the pseudonym Violet
GOFLE FOREVER
C H A P T E R 12:
Tsirblou. A guard with bulk to m a t c h Butler's waved t h e m through underneath a walkway arch in the four-metre-high wall. Artemis kept his eyes open on the way in, noting the a r m e d guards patrolling the t e n - a c r e c o m p o u n d , and the position
LA
DomAinE
DES
HommES,
ExTincrionisTs'
compounD,FEZ
of the g e n e r a t o r hut and the staff quarters. Information is power. T h e residential chalets w e r e built i n the style o f
ARTE Kl IS
the younger agreed t o a c c o m -
Californian beachouses, flat roofs and plenty of glass, clus-
pany D o c t o r Kronski to his gated c o m p o u n d
t e r e d around a m a n - m a d e b e a c h , c o m p l e t e with wave
near the medina. Kronski's Land R o v e r was
machine and lifeguard. T h e r e was a large c o n f e r e n c e c e n t r e
considerably m o r e luxurious than Artemis's
in the middle of the c o m p o u n d , with a scaffold-clad spire
r e n t e d m o d e l , c o m p l e t e with powerful air-conditioning,
jutting from its r o o f . T w o m e n w e r e p e r c h e d o n the
water c o o l e r and white-tiger upholstery.
scaffolding, putting the finishing touches to a brass icon on
A r t e m i s ran a finger through the fur and was n o t surprised to find that it was real.
the spire's tip. And even though m o s t of the i c o n was wrapped in canvas, A r t e m i s could see enough to k n o w what
' N i c e seats,' he c o m m e n t e d drily.
it was. A human a r m with the world in its fist. T h e symbol
Kronski did n o t answer. He hadn't spoken m u c h since
o f the Extinctionists.
losing the lemur, e x c e p t to m u t t e r to himself, cursing the
K r o n s k i ' s driver parked in front of the c o m p o u n d ' s
unfairness of it all. It didn't s e e m to b o t h e r him that his
grandest chalet and the d o c t o r led the way inside word-
suit was covered in dye, w h i c h was transferring itself to
lessly. He flapped a hand towards a hide-covered sofa, and
his expensive upholstery.
disappeared into his b e d r o o m .
Though it t o o k barely five minutes to reach the compound,
Artemis was hoping for a shower and a change of clothes,
/
v
w
v
/WW
207
206
but apparently Kronski was t o o upset for courtesy, so Artemis
Kronski entered the r o o m showered and wearing a flowing
was forced to tug at the collar of his itchy shirt and wait for
kaftan. His eyes w e r e r e d - r i m m e d , as though he'd b e e n
his host's return.
crying.
Kronki's r e c e p t i o n lounge was a m a c a b r e space. O n e wall was covered with certificates of e x t i n c t i o n , c o m p l e t e
' S i t down, Ah-temis,' he said, gesturing towards the sofa with a hide-bound fly swatter.
with photographs of the unfortunate animals and the dates
A r t e m i s eyed the seat. ' N o . I think I'll stand.'
on which the Extinctionists managed to m u r d e r the last
Kronski sank into an office chair. ' O h , I get it. G r o w n up sofa. It's difficult to be taken seriously w h e n your feet
one of the particular species. A r t e m i s b r o w s e d the p h o t o wall. H e r e was a Japanese sea lion, and a Yangtze river dolphin. A G u a m flying fox
d o n ' t t o u c h the ground.' T h e d o c t o r r u b b e d his eyes with stubby t h u m b s , then donned his trademark glasses.
and a Bali tiger.
' Y o u have n o idea w h a t it's b e e n like for m e , A h - t e m i s .
All g o n e forever. The only way to see these creatures was to somehow build up
H o u n d e d from c o u n t r y t o c o u n t r y b e c a u s e o f m y b e l i e f s ,
enough momentum to travel faster than the speed of light and go
like s o m e c o m m o n c r i m i n a l . A n d n o w that I have finally
back in time.
found s o m e w h e r e to call h o m e , n o w that I have p e r s u a d e d
T h e r e w e r e further h o r r o r s in the r o o m , all labelled for educational purposes. T h e sofa was upholstered with the pelts of Falkland Island wolves. T h e base of a standing lamp was fashioned from the skull of a w e s t e r n b l a c k
the c o m m i t t e e t o m e e t h e r e , I l o s e m y trial animal. T h a t l e m u r was the c e n t r e p i e c e o f the e n t i r e c o n f e r e n c e . ' Kronski's voice was steady and he s e e m e d to have r e c o v e r e d h i m s e l f since his b r e a k d o w n at the leather souq. ' T h e Extinctionists' c o m m i t t e e m e m b e r s are very powerful
rhinoceros. A r t e m i s struggled to maintain his c o m p o s u r e .
m e n , Ah-temis. They are accustomed to c o m f o r t and conven-
/ need to get out of here as quickly as possible.
ience. M o r o c c o is hardly convenient. I had to build this
But the faint voice of his c o n s c i e n c e r e m i n d e d him that
compound to entice them down here, and promise a big
leaving would n o t m e a n that this place no l o n g e r e x i s t e d ,
opening to the conference. And now all I have to show is a
and selling the strange creature to Kronski would only draw
shining hand.'
m o r e people t o it.
Kronski brandished his hand, which was largely slime
A r t e m i s conjured a picture of his father in his m i n d .
'All is n o t lost, D o c t o r , ' said A r t e m i s soothingly. 'I can
Whatever it takes. Whatever I have to do.
/WSA
AAAA
free, but did s e e m to g l o w faintly.
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/WSA
/WSA
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208
provide you with something that will rejuvenate your society
'Diamonds.'
and m a k e it globally r e l e v a n t /
Kronski pouted. T w o n ' t pay a single stone until I verify
Kronski's frown was sceptical, but he leaned forward, a r m s slightly o u t s t r e t c h e d . His face says no, thought A r t e m i s . But his body language says yes.
the authenticity of your product.' 'That's fair.' 'That's mighty a c c o m m o d a t i n g o f you, F o w l . H o w d o you k n o w I w o n ' t double-cross you? After all, I ' m pretty
' W h a t are you selling, A h - t e m i s ? '
sure that you had a hand in whatever happened b a c k at the
A r t e m i s o p e n e d the gallery on his p h o n e , selecting a
souq. Payback is fair play w h e r e I c o m e from.'
photograph. ' T h i s , ' he said, passing the phone to K r o n s k i . T h e d o c t o r studied the photograph and the scepticism in his eyes g r e w m o r e p r o n o u n c e d .
'You might double-cross m e , D a m o n . B u t you w o n ' t double-cross Butler. You are n o t a stupid man.' Kronski g r u n t e d , impressed. T g o t to hand it to you, boy. You have all the angles figured. You present ' e m well
' W h a t is this? P h o t o manipulation?'
too.' He stared absently at his glowing hand. 'You ever think
' N o . G e n u i n e . This creature is real.'
it strange, A h - t e m i s , h o w a kid like you winds up going
' C o m e o n , Ah-temis. W h a t w e ' v e got h e r e are latex and
eyeball to eyeball with an old c r o o k like m e ? '
b o n e implants. Nothing m o r e . ' A r t e m i s nodded. 'That's a fair reaction. So you d o n ' t pay until you're satisfied.'
'I don't understand the question,' said Artemis truthfully. Kronski clapped his hands and laughed. 'It delights m e , Ah-temis,' he said, 'that a boy such as you exists. It makes
T already paid.'
my day.' T h e laughter stopped suddenly, as though cut off
'You paid for a lemur,' A r t e m i s c o u n t e r e d . ' T h i s is an
by a guillotine. 'Now, h o w soon can I inspect the c r e a t u r e ? '
undiscovered species. Possibly a threat to mankind. This is
'Immediately,' replied A r t e m i s . '
what the Extinctionists are all about. Imagine h o w many
' G o o d . W e l l , t e x t your m a n t o c o m e hither. Let's say
m e m b e r s will c l a m o u r t o donate t o your c h u r c h w h e n you
it takes him thirty m i n u t e s to g e t h e r e , a n o t h e r t e n to
uncover this threat.'
c l e a r security. We can m e e t him in the grand lodge in o n e
Kronski nodded. 'You put t o g e t h e r a g o o d a r g u m e n t for a ten-year-old. H o w m u c h do I pay?'
hour.' T said immediately,' said A r t e m i s , clicking his fingers.
'You pay five million euro. Non-negotiable.'
B u t l e r stepped out from behind a curtain, a Kevlar duffel
'Cash?'
bag under o n e a r m .
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211
K r o n s k i squealed briefly, t h e n r o l l e d his eyes in frus-
' Y e s , ' said K r o n s k i , a l m o s t foaming at the m o u t h . 'Absolutely, yes. O p e n the bag.'
tration. 'I can't c o n t r o l t h a t . . . E v e r since the koala in Cleveland.
B u t l e r removed his hand and A r t e m i s unzipped the duffel, exposing the figure inside.
It's so embarassing . . .' File and save, thought A r t e m i s . Koala in Cleveland.
Kronski stared into the m i s m a t c h e d eyes. Ran a hand
' Anyway,' continued the doctor, ' h o w did he get in h e r e ? '
across the inhumanly wide brow, tugged o n e of the ears,
B u t l e r shrugged. T c a m e in the same way you did,
then staggered to the office bar, pouring h i m s e l f a glass of water with shaky hands.
Doctor.' 'You w e r e in the Land Rover,' breathed K r o n s k i . 'Very
'Five million at today's m a r k e t price,' he said. 'You said five and we agreed. No upping the p r i c e now.'
clever.' ' N o t really. M o r e lax on your part than clever on ours.'
A r t e m i s smiled. T h e d o c t o r was h o o k e d .
'I will r e m e m b e r that. Do you have the merchandise
'Five million,' he said. 'Plus expenses.'
with you?' Butler's m o u t h tightened and A r t e m i s k n e w that he was
Artemis the elder rode back to the landing site on a collapsible
pushed to the limits of his loyalty by this transaction. T h e
LEP s c o o t e r designed to resemble a 1 9 5 0 s human Lambretta.
l e m u r had b e e n bad enough, but this female in the bag was
T h e resemblance was only b u m p e r deep, as there were n o t
s o m e kind o f p e r s o n .
many Lambrettas that c a m e equipped with clean nuclear
Wordlessly, the bodyguard placed the duffel on the desk. A r t e m i s tugged on the zipper, but B u t l e r stopped h i m .
batteries, G n o m m i s h satellite navigation and self-destruct buttons.
' S h e has s o m e kind of hypnotizing skills. I o n c e m e t a
T h e Ifrane road outside the imperial city was part of the
guy in Laos w h o could put the w h a m m y on you, b u t
fertile Fez river basin and was lined with olive groves and
nothing like this. She t r i e d it on outside the souq and I
g o l f courses.
nearly ran into a c a m e l , so I taped h e r m o u t h . A l s o , as we
Ancient and modern. Coexisting.
know, she can t u r n invisible. W h e n I o p e n e d the bag first,
O v e r h e a d the stars s e e m e d c l o s e r and fiercer than at
she w a s n ' t t h e r e . I think h e r j u i c e is running o u t , though.
h o m e in Ireland, shining down like stadium lights, as though
T h e r e could be m o r e stunts — w h o k n o w s what t r i c k s she
Africa w e r e s o m e h o w c l o s e r to the rest of the universe.
has hidden in those p o i n t e d ears? A r e you prepared to take
/ lost her. I lost Holly.
that r i s k ? '
B u t he did have a plan. A half-decent plan. All it n e e d e d
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213
212
was a bit of fairy t e c h n o l o g y to open a few doors and then
L E P are n o t my c o m r a d e s . We had a deal; I g e t you the
there was still a c h a n c e . B e c a u s e , without Holly, all was
little furry fellow and you g e t me a trolley of L E P t e c h
lost. T h e r e would b e n o future for any o f t h e m .
goodies. J o b done, b o t h parties happy.' At that m o m e n t , Jayjay poked his head round the bath-
It t o o k almost an h o u r to find the particular g o l f course
r o o m door.
w h e r e Holly had parked the L E P shuttle. N o t that there
' W h a t ' s he doing in t h e r e ? '
was m u c h evidence of a craft on the spot besides a slightly
M u l c h grinned. 'Take t w o guesses.'
flat plane of sand in the bunker. Holly had nosed the shuttle
' L e m u r s cannot use advanced plumbing.'
deep into the dry sand and left the shield p o w e r e d on.
' S e e for yourself. W h a t e v e r ' s in there, I ' m blaming Jayjay.'
A r t e m i s only found it h i m s e l f with the help of the bike's
He clicked his furry fingers and the l e m u r ran along his
navigation systems. He collapsed the s c o o t e r into a Frisbee-sized disc and c l i m b e d down through the r o o f hatch. M u l c h Diggums was idly swivelling h i m s e l f in the pilot's chair. 'That's my scooter, M u d Boy,' he said. ' T h a t c a m e off the trolley, so I take it with m e . ' A r t e m i s shut the hatch behind h i m . ' W h e r e ' s the lemur? W h e r e ' s Jayjay?' M u l c h answered these questions with s o m e of his own. ' W h e r e ' s Holly? Have you lost h e r ? ' 'Yes,' A r t e m i s admitted miserably. ' T h e boy o u t w i t t e d m e . H e k n e w w e would c o m e for the lemur. H e sacrificed it for Holly.' ' S m a r t , ' said M u l c h . 'Anyway, I ' m off. See you . . .' ' S e e you? See you? O n e of your fairy c o m r a d e s is in danger and you're j u s t going to d e s e r t h e r ? ' M u l c h raised his palms. 'Hey, calm down, M u d Boy. T h e
a r m , on to his head. ' S e e . H e accepts responsibility.' M u l c h frowned. ' Y o u ' r e not going to trade this fellow for Captain S h o r t , are you?' ' N o point,' said A r t e m i s , acccessing the L E P c e n t r a l database. ' I t w o u l d be like trying to trade a hairpin for Excalibur.' M u l c h c h e w e d his lip. ' I ' m familiar with the E x c a l i b u r story, so I k n o w what you're trying to say t h e r e . A hairpin is useless, E x c a l i b u r is wonderful, and so on. B u t in s o m e instances a hairpin is e x t r e m e l y useful. Now, if you had said a rubber hairpin. Do you see what I ' m getting at? A r t e m i s ignored h i m , tapping furiously at the v-board that had appeared in front of h i m . He n e e d e d to k n o w everything he could about the Extinctionists and Foaly had an extensive file on t h e m . M u l c h ticked Jayjay under the chin. T was getting pretty fond of Captain S h o r t , against my b e t t e r j u d g e m e n t . I suppose I could dig in and rescue her.'
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This was a genuine offer and a fair point, so A r t e m i s spared a m o m e n t to address it. ' N o t possible. Kronski has seen the tunnel rescue before and he w o n ' t fall for it again. At any rate, you wouldn't survive
the animals he had hunted to e x t i n c t i o n . He always awoke smiling. Everything has to he perfect. This is the biggest night of my life. Thank you, little Ah-temis.
the temperature during the day. Even underground you
T h e r e was a lot riding on this c o n f e r e n c e , and the banquet
wouldn't be safe. T h e earth is so dry that cracks can pene-
generally set the t o n e for the entire w e e k e n d . Pull off s o m e -
trate up to fifteen metres in open ground. O n e pinprick of
11 ling big at the banquet trial and the m e m b e r s would be
midday sun and you would crisp like an old b o o k in a furnace.'
buzzing about it for days. T h e I n t e r n e t would be alive with
M u l c h w i n c e d . 'Now, you see, that image w o r k s really well. So what are you going to d o ? ' A r t e m i s used the advanced fairy t e c h n o l o g y to print off a l e o p a r d - p r i n t card w i t h an E x t i n c t i o n i s t s ' h o l o g r a m flashing silver and purple in the c e n t r e .
(batter. And it doesn't get any bigger than a brand-new sentient species. The Extinctionists are about to go global. And j u s t in t i m e . Truth be told, the Extinctionists w e r e old news. Subscriptions w e r e dropping off and, for the first
' I ' m going to the Extinctionists' banquet tonight,' he said,
lime since its inception, the c o n f e r e n c e was n o t a total sell-
flicking the card with his forefinger. 'After all, I have b e e n
out. In the beginning it had b e e n wonderful — so many
invited. All I n e e d is a disguise and s o m e medical supplies.'
exciting species to hunt and nail to the wall. B u t n o w coun-
M u l c h was impressed. 'That's very g o o d . You're almost
tries w e r e protecting their rare animals, especially the big
as devious as I am.' A r t e m i s t u r n e d b a c k to the v-board. It would take t i m e to firm up his cover. 'You have no idea,' he said.
ones. T h e r e was no flying into India for a tiger shoot any m o r e . And the sub-Saharan nations t o o k it e x t r e m e l y badly if a group of w e l l - a r m e d Extinctionists showed up at o n e of their reserves and began taking p o t shots at elephants. It was getting to the point w h e r e g o v e r n m e n t officials w e r e
T h e night of the E x t i n c t i o n i s t s ' b a n q u e t was upon h i m and
refusing b r i b e s . Refusing bribes.
Kronski's nerves w e r e frazzled. He danced around his chalet
T h e r e was a n o t h e r p r o b l e m with the E x t i n c t i o n i s t s ,
wearing nothing b u t a bath t o w e l , anxiously h u m m i n g his
though K r o n s k i would never admit it aloud. T h e g r o u p
way through the tunes from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor
had b e c o m e a t o u c h s t o n e for the lunatic fringe. His h e a r t -
Dreamcoat. Kronski often d r e a m e d that he was wearing the
felt hatred for the animal kingdom was attracting b l o o d -
T e c h n i c o l o r coat and it was fashioned from the pelts of all
thirsty crazies w h o c o u l d n o t see past putting a bullet in
AAAA
AAAA
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a dumb beast. T h e y could n o t grasp the philosophy of the
/ have sold a creature . . . a person to the Extinctionists.
organization. M a n is king, and animals survive only so long
Being as smart as he was, A r t e m i s was perfectly capable
as they c o n t r i b u t e to the c o m f o r t of their m a s t e r s . An animal w i t h o u t uses is wasting precious air and should be w i p e d out.
of constructing an argument to justify his actions. Her friends will free her. They almost outsmarted me; they can certainly outsmart Kronski. That fairy creature is probably on her
B u t this n e w creature changed everything. E v e r y o n e would want to see her. T h e y would film the entire trial and e x e c u t i o n , leak the tape and then the world would c o m e t o D a m o n Kronski.
way back to wherever she came from right now, with the lemur under her arm. A r t e m i s distracted h i m s e l f from this shaky reasoning by concentrating on K r o n s k i .
One year of donations, thought K r o n s k i . Then I retire to enjoy my wealth.
Something really should be done about that man. A titanium P o w e r b o o k h u m m e d gently on A r t e m i s ' s
Five million. This fairy, or whatever it is, is worth ten times that. A hundred times.
fold-out tray. He w o k e the screen and o p e n e d his personal I n t e r n e t b r o w s e r p r o g r a m that he had w r i t t e n as a school
Kronski jiggled in front of the air-conditioner blast for a m i n u t e then selected a suit from his w a r d r o b e . Purple, he thought. Tonight I shall be emperor. As an afterthought he p l u c k e d a m a t c h i n g tasselled Caspian tiger-skin hat from an upper shelf. When in Fez, he thought brightly.
p r o j e c t . Thanks to a powerful and illegal antenna in the j e t ' s cargo bay he was able to pick up radio, television and Internet signals almost anywhere in the w o r l d . Organizations like the Extinctionists live and die on their reputations, he thought. It would be an amusing exercise to destroy Kronski's reputation using the power of the web. All it would take was some research and the placement
T H E FOWL LEARJET,
10,000
I*IETRES O V E R G I B R A L T A R
of a little video on a few of the Net's m o r e popular networking sites.
Ten-year-old A r t e m i s Fowl tried his b e s t to r e l a x in one of the Learjet's plush leather chairs, but there was a tension
T w e n t y m i n u t e s later, A r t e m i s J u n i o r was putting the
k n o t at the base of his skull.
finishing touches to his p r o j e c t w h e n B u t l e r ducked through
/ need a massage, he thought. Or some herbal tea. A r t e m i s was p e r f e c t l y aware what was causing the tension.
the c o c k p i t door. ' H u n g r y ? ' asked the bodyguard. ' T h e r e ' s s o m e h u m m u s in the fridge and I m a d e yoghurt and honey smoothies.'
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A r t e m i s e m b e d d e d his video p r o j e c t on to the final website. ' N o , thank you,' m u m b l e d A r t e m i s . ' I ' m n o t hungry.' ' T h a t will be the guilt gnawing at your soul,' said B u t l e r candidly, helping h i m s e l f from the fridge. ' L i k e a rat on an old bone.' ' T h a n k you for the simile, Butler, but what's done is done.' ' D i d we have to leave Kronski the weapon?' 'Please, I put r e m o t e destruct charges in my hardware.
Artemis frowned. It was the right thing to do, but it was not on his agenda. Returning to Fez would n o t save his lather. B u t l e r folded his paper plate in half, trapping the debris from his m e a l inside. ' A r t e m i s , I would like to swing the j e t around, and I intend to do that unless you instruct me n o t to. All you need to do is say the word.' A r t e m i s watched his bodyguard r e t u r n to the c o c k p i t , but said nothing.
Do you really think such an advanced race will leave their technology unprotected? I wouldn't be surprised if that gun is melting in Kronski's hands. I had to leave it as a sweetener.'
rrioRocco
T doubt the creature is melting.' 'Stop this, Butler. I made a deal and that's the end of it.' Butler sat opposite him. ' H m m . So you are governed by some sort of code now. H o n o u r among criminals. Interesting. S o , what's that you're cooking up on your c o m p u t e r ? ' Artemis rubbed the tense spot on his n e c k . 'Please, Butler. All of this is for my father. You k n o w it must be done.' ' O n e question,' said Butler, ripping the plastic from a cutlery set. ' W o u l d your father want it to be done this way?' A r t e m i s did n o t answer, just sat and r u b b e d his n e c k . Five minutes later, B u t l e r t o o k pity on the ten-year-old. T thought we might turn the plane around and give those strange creatures a little help. Fez Saiss airport has r e - o p e n e d so we could be b a c k there in a couple of hours.'
The D o m a i n e des H o m m e s was buzzing with limo-loads of Extinctionists coming in from the airport, each one wearing their hatred for animals on their sleeve, or on their heads or feet. Kronski spotted a lady sporting thigh-length i b e x boots. Pyrenean, if he wasn't mistaken. And there was old Jeffrey C o o n t z - M e y e r s with his quagga-backed tweed j a c k e t . And Contessa Irina Kostovich, her pale n e c k p r o t e c t e d from the evening chill by a Honshu-wolf stole. Kronski smiled and g r e e t e d each one w a r m l y and m o s t by n a m e . Every year there w e r e fewer n e w c o m e r s to the ranks, but that would all change after the trial tonight. He skipped along towards the banquet hall. T h e hall itself had b e e n designed by Schiller-Haus in M u n i c h , and was essentially a huge prefabricated kit which
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had arrived in containers and b e e n e r e c t e d by G e r m a n
hack and no obvious flash of light, but the ham was n o w
specialists in less than four w e e k s . Incredible really. It was
steaming and ready to serve.
an impressive structure, m o r e formal in appearance than
Kronski raised the v i o l e t - c o l o u r e d sunglasses that he
the chalets, w h i c h was only proper, as serious business was
wore day and night, to m a k e sure his vision was accurate.
c o n d u c t e d inside. Fair trials and then e x e c u t i o n s . Fair trials, thought K r o n s k i , and giggled. T h e main doors w e r e guarded by two burly M o r o c c a n
' M y goodness,' he said in wonderment. 'This is quite a toy.' He stamped on the steel floor, sending a b o n g r e v e r b e r ating through the chamber.
g e n t l e m e n in evening wear. Kronski had considered crested
' N o tunnelling out this t i m e , ' he announced. ' N o t like
jumpsuits for the guards, but dismissed the idea as t o o B o n d .
the souq. Do you speak English, creature? Do you k n o w
/ am not Doctor No. I am Doctor No-Animals. K r o n s k i b r e e z e d past t h e guards,
down a corridor
c a r p e t e d with sumptuous local rugs and into a doubleheight banquet hall with a triple-glazed glass roof. T h e stars s e e m e d close enough to reach out and capture.
what I am saying to you?' T h e creature rolled h e r eyes. / would answer you, h e r expression said, but there is tape across my mouth. 'And for good reason,' said Kronski, as though the sentence
T h e d e c o r was a tasteful blend of classic and m o d e r n .
had b e e n spoken aloud. ' W e k n o w all about your hypnotism
Tasteful e x c e p t for the gorilla-paw ashtrays dotted on each
tricks. And the invisibility.' He pinched her c h e e k , as one
table and the r o w of elephant-foot champagne c o o l e r s on
would a cute infant. 'Your skin feels almost human. W h a t
stands outside the k i t c h e n doors. Kronski squeezed through
are you? A fairy, is that it?'
the double d o o r s , past a brushed-steel k i t c h e n , to the walk-
A n o t h e r eye r o l l .
in freezer at the rear.
If eye-rolling were a sport, this creature would be a gold-medal
T h e creature sat flanked by t h r e e m o r e guards. She was
winner, thought the doctor. Well, perhaps silver medal. Gold
cuffed to a plastic baby chair b o r r o w e d from the compound's
would surely go to my ex-wife, who's no slacker in the eye-rolling
c r e c h e . H e r features w e r e alert and sullen. H e r weapon lay
department herself.
out of r e a c h on a steel trolley. If looks were bullets, thought K r o n s k i , picking up the tiny weapon and weighing it on his palm, / would be riddled. He pointed the weapon at a frozen ham h o c k hanging on a chain and pulled the tiny trigger. T h e r e was no k i c k -
Kronski addressed the guards. 'Has she m o v e d ? ' he asked. T h e m e n shook their heads. It was a stupid question. I low could she move? 'Very well. G o o d . All proceeds according to my plan.'
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N o w Kronski rolled his own eyes. 'Listen to m e . All proceeds
were picky eaters. S o m e hated animals so m u c h that they
according to my plan. That is so D o c t o r N o . I should go and
were vegetarians, which limited the m e n u somewhat. But
get myself some metal hands. W h a t do you think, gentlemen?'
this year Kronski had managed to poach a c h e f from a vege-
' M e t a l hands?' said the newest guard, u n a c c u s t o m e d to
tarian restaurant in Edinburgh w h o could do things with a
Kronski's rants. T h e o t h e r t w o w e r e well aware that many
courgette that would m a k e the m o s t hardened carnivore
of the d o c t o r ' s questions w e r e r h e t o r i c a l , especially the
weep.
ones about A n d r e w Lloyd W e b b e r o r J a m e s B o n d .
T h e y started with a subtle tomato-and-pepper soup in
Kronski ignored the n e w guy. He placed a finger on
baby t u r t l e shells. T h e n a light parcel of roast vegetables in
pursed lips for a m o m e n t , to c o m m u n i c a t e the i m p o r t a n c e
pastry with a dollop of G r e e k yoghurt, served in a m o n k e y -
of what he was about to say, then t o o k a deep whistling
skull saucer. All very tasty, and by n o w the wine was relaxing
breath through his n o s e .
the guests.
' O K , gentlemen. Everyone listening?This evening couldn't
Kronski's s t o m a c h was so c h u r n e d with nerves that he
be m o r e important. T h e future of the entire organization
could n o t eat a single b i t e , which was m o s t unusual for
depends on it. Everything must be totally perfect. Do n o t
him. He hadn't felt this giddy since his very first banquet
take your eyes off the prisoner and do n o t r e m o v e h e r
in Austin all those years ago.
restraints or gag. No one is to see her until the trial begins.
/ am on the verge of greatness. Soon my name will be mentioned
I paid five million in diamonds for the privilege of a grand
in the same sentence as the Bobby Jo Haggard or Jo Bobby Saggart.
reveal, so no one gets in here but m e . Understood?'
I he great evangelist Extinctionists. Damon Kronski, the man who
This was n o t a rhetorical question, though it t o o k the n e w guy a m o m e n t to realize it. ' Y e s , sir. U n d e r s t o o d , ' he b l u r t e d a fraction after the o t h e r two.
saved the world. Two things would m a k e this banquet the greatest ever held. The entree and the trial.
' I f something does g o w r o n g , then your f i n a l j o b o f the
T h e e n t r e e would delight everyone, m e a t eaters and
evening will be burial duty.' Kronski winked at the n e w
vegetarians alike. T h e vegetarians could n o t eat it, but at
guard. 'And you k n o w what they say, last in first out.'
least they could m a r v e l at the artistry it t o o k to prepare the dish.
T h e atmosphere at the banquet was a little jaded - until the food arrived. T h e thing about Extinctionists was that they
Kronski tapped a small gong beside his place setting and stood to introduce the dish, as was the c u s t o m .
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'Ladies and g e n t l e m e n / he began, 'let me tell you a story
A twittering began among the diners.
of extinction. In July 1 8 8 9 , Professor D. S. Jordan visited
No.
Twin Lakes in Colorado and published his discoveries in the
Surely not.
1 8 9 1 Bulletin of the United States Fish Commission. He found
Impossible.
what he declared to be a n e w species, the "yellowfin cutthroat".
' W h a t if a frozen chunk of lake was trapped by a landslide
In his r e p o r t Jordan described the fish as silvery olive with a
deep in an uncharted crevasse and kept solid by near-zero
broad lemon-yellow shade along the sides, lower fins bright
currents.'
golden yellow in life and a deep red dash on each side of the
Then that would mean . . .
throat, hence the "cutthroat". Until about 1 9 0 3 , yellowfin
Inside that chunk . . .
cutthroats survived in Twin Lakes. T h e yellowfin died out
' W h a t if that chunk surfaced a m e r e six weeks ago on
soon after rainbow trout were introduced to Twin Lakes.
(he land o f m y g o o d friend T o m m y Kirkenhazard. O n e o f
O t h e r trout interbred with the rainbows, but the yellowfins
our own faithful m e m b e r s . '
quickly disappeared and are now completely extinct.' N o b o d y shed a tear. In fact there was a smattering of applause for the E w o r d . Kronski raised a hand. ' N o , no. This is n o t a cause for
T o m m y stood to take a bow, waving his T e x a s - g r e y - w o l f stetson. T h o u g h his t e e t h w e r e smiling, his eyes w e r e shooting daggers at Kronski. It was obvious to the entire r o o m that there was bad b l o o d b e t w e e n the two.
joy. It is said that the yellowfin was a very tasty fish, with
' T h e n it would be possible, outrageously expensive and
a particulary sweet flavour. W h a t a pity we shall never taste
difficult but possible, to transport that chunk of ice h e r e .
it.' He paused dramatically. ' O r shall we . . .'
A chunk that contains a sizeable shoal of yellowfin cutthroat
At the rear of the r o o m , a large false wall slid aside to
trout.' Kronski d r e w breath to allow this information to
reveal a red velvet curtain. W i t h great c e r e m o n y , Kronski
sink in. ' T h e n w e , dear friends, could be the first people
pulled a r e m o t e c o n t r o l from his j a c k e t and zapped the
to eat yellowfin in a hundred years.'
curtain, which drew b a c k with a s m o o t h swish. Behind it was an e n o r m o u s trolley bearing what appeared to be a miniature glacier. Silver and steaming. T h e guests sat forward, intrigued. ' W h a t if there was a flash freeze over a hundred years ago in Twin Lakes.'
This p r o s p e c t even had a few of the vegetarians salivating. ' W a t c h , Extinctionists. W a t c h and be amazed.' Kronski clicked his fingers and a dozen kitchen staff w h e e l e d the p o n d e r o u s trolley into the c e n t r e o f the banqueting area, w h e r e it rested on a steel g r i l l e . T h e workers
/
W
S
A
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
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then stripped off their uniforms to reveal m o n k e y costumes underneath. Have I gone over the top with the monkey rigs? Kronski w o n d e r e d . Is it just too Broadway? B u t a quick survey of his guests assured him that they r e m a i n e d enthralled. T h e kitchen staff were actually trained circus acrobats from one of the Cirque du Soleil knock-offs touring north Africa. T h e y were only t o o glad to take a few days out from their
F o r the vegetarians there was a Champagne m u s h r o o m risotto, though Kronski did n o t anticipate many takers. T h e non-meat eaters would a c c e p t the fish just to stab it. T h e m e a l was a huge success and the level of delighted chatter rose to fill the hall. Kronski managed to eat half a fillet, in spite of his n e r v e s . Delicious. Exquisite. They think that was the highlight, he thought. They ain't seen nothing yet.
schedule to put on this private show for the Extinctionists. T h e y s w a r m e d up the huge i c e - b l o c k , anchoring t h e m -
After coffee, w h e n the Extinctionists w e r e loosening their
selves on with r o p e s , crampons or grappling h o o k s , and
c u m m e r b u n d s or t u r n i n g fat cigars for an even b u r n ,
began demolishing it with chainsaws, flaming swords and
Kronski instructed his staff to set up the c o u r t r o o m .
flamethrowers, all produced seemingly from n o w h e r e . It was a spectacular indulgence. Ice flew, showering the guests, and the buzz of m a c h i n e r y was deafening.
T h e y r e s p o n d e d w i t h the speed and e x p e r t i s e of a Formula O n e p i t - t e a m , as well they should after three months of being whipped into shape. Literally. T h e w o r k e r s
Q u i c k l y the shoal of yellowfin p o k e d through the blue
swarmed across the grid w h e r e the m e l t e d ice sloshed b e l o w
m u r k of i c e . T h e y hung wide-eyed and frozen in mid-turn,
like a disturbed swimming p o o l , a few stray yellowfins
their bodies caught by the flash freeze.
lloating on the surface. T h e y covered this section of floor
What a way to go, thought K r o n s k i . With absolutely no inkling. Wonderful.
and e x p o s e d a second pit, this one lined with steel and covered with s c o r c h marks.
T h e p e r f o r m e r s began carving the fish in b l o c k s from
Two podiums and a d o c k w e r e w h e e l e d into the c e n t r e
the i c e , and each o n e was passed down to one of a dozen
of the hall, taking the place of the ice-trolley. T h e podiums
line c o o k s w h o had appeared from the side d o o r s , wheeling
had c o m p u t e r s on their swivel tops, and the w o o d e n d o c k
gas b u r n e r s . Each individual b l o c k was slid into a heated
was occupied by a cage. T h e cage's resident was masked by
colander to steam off e x c e s s i c e , then the fish w e r e e x p e r t l y
a curtain of leopard skin.
filleted and fried in olive oil with a selection of chunkycut vegetables and a crushed clove of garlic.
T h e diners' chatter ceased as they held their breath for the big reveal. This was the m o m e n t everyone was waiting
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for, these millionaires and billionaires paying through the
its cage into the pit, passing the laser beam that activates the
nose for a few m o m e n t s of ultimate power: holding the
gas-powered flame j e t s . Voila: instant cremation.
fate of an entire species in their hands. Showing the rest of the planet w h o was boss. T h e guests did n o t n o t i c e the
' A l l o w me to d e m o n s t r a t e . Indulge m e , it's a n e w pit. I've b e e n testing it all week.'
dozen or so sharpshooters placed discreetly on the upper
He nodded at o n e of the staff, w h o yanked up a section
t e r r a c e in case the creature on trial dispayed any n e w
of the grid with a steel h o o k . Kronski then picked a m e l o n
magical powers. T h e r e was little chance of a subterranean
from a fruit platter and tossed it into the pit. T h e r e was a
rescue as the entire hall was built on a foundation of steel
beep, followed by an eruption of blue-white flame gouts
rods and c o n c r e t e .
from nozzles ranged around the pit walls. T h e m e l o n was
Kronski milked the m o m e n t , rising slowly from his seat, sauntering across to the prosecutor's podium. He steepled his fingers, allowing the tension to build, then began his presentation.
burned to black floating crisps. T h e display d r e w an impressed round of applause, but not everyone appreciated Kronski's grandstanding. Jeffrey C o o n t z - M e y e r s cupped b o t h hands r o u n d his
' E v e r y year we put a rare animal on trial.'
mouth. ' C o m e on, D a m o n . W h a t have w e got tonight? N o t
T h e r e w e r e a few h o o t s from the a u d i e n c e , w h i c h
another monkey. Every year it's monkeys.'
Kronski waved away good-naturedly.
Generally interruptions would irritate K r o n s k i , but n o t
'A real trial w h e r e the host prosecutes and one of you
tonight. On this night all h e c t o r i n g , however witty, would
lucky people gets to defend. T h e idea is simple. If you can
be swept from people's m e m o r i e s the second that curtain
convince a j u r y of your unprejudiced p e e r s . . .'
was drawn aside.
M o r e hooting.
' N o , Jeffrey, n o t another monkey. W h a t if . . .'
. . that the creature in this cage contributes positively
Jeffrey C o o n t z - M e y e r s groaned vocally. 'Please, no m o r e
to human existence on this planet, then we will free the
what ifs. We had half a dozen with the fish. Show us the
creature. This, believe it or not, did happen o n c e in 1 9 8 3 .
blasted creature.'
A little before my t i m e , but I am assured it actually happened.
Kronski b o w e d . 'As you wish.'
If the defence counsel's peers are not convinced of the animal's
He t h u m b e d a b u t t o n on his r e m o t e c o n t r o l and a large-
usefulness, then I press this button.' And here Kronski's
view screen descended from the rafters, covering the b a c k
bulbous fingers twiddled playfully with an oversized red
wall. A n o t h e r b u t t o n pushed and the curtain concealing the
button on his r e m o t e control. 'And the animal drops from
caged creature swished smoothly to one side.
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Holly was revealed, cuffed to the baby chair, h e r eyes
Good performance, Tommy, thought Kronski. It's almost as if we hadn't arrange this little confrontation to give me a bit more
darting and furious. At first the main reaction was puzzlement.
credibility Kirkenhazard stood as close to Holly as he dared, then
Was it a little girl?
r e a c h e d in slowly to tweak h e r ear.
It's just a child. Has Kronski gone mad? I knew he sang to himself but this? T h e n the E x t i n c t i o n i s t s ' eyes w e r e drawn to the screen, which was displaying a feed from a c a m e r a clamped to the
' M y saints, it's no fake. This is the real deal.' He stood b a c k and the truth of what was happening filled his face with joy. ' W e g o t ourselves a fairy.' Kirkenhazard
cage.
rushed
across
to
Kronski's
podium,
pumping his hand, clapping his b a c k .
Oh, my Lord. Her ears. Look at her ears.
And so my biggest critic is converted. The rest will follow like
She's not human.
sheep. Useful animals, sheep.
What is that? What is it? T o m m y Kirkenhazard stood. T h i s b e t t e r n o t b e a h o a x ,
Kronski silently congratulated himself. T will p r o s e c u t e the fairy, as is the tradition,' Kronski
D a m o n . O r w e ' l l string you up.' T w o points,' said Kronski softly. ' F i r s t , this is no h o a x . I have unearthed an undiscovered species - as a m a t t e r of
told the c r o w d . ' B u t w h o will defend? W h i c h unlucky m e m b e r will draw the black ball? W h o will i t b e ? '
fact, I believe it to be a fairy. S e c o n d , if this w e r e a h o a x ,
Kronski nodded at the maitre d'.
you would n o t be stringing anyone up, Kirkenhazard. My
' B r i n g the bag.'
m e n would cut you down before you could wave that ridicu-
Like many ancient organizations, the E x t i n c t i o n i s t s w e r e b o u n d by tradition, and o n e of these traditions was that
lous hat of yours and shout yee-haw! S o m e t i m e s it was g o o d to send a shiver down people's spines. R e m i n d t h e m w h e r e the p o w e r was. ' O f course, your scepticism is to be expected, w e l c o m e d in fact. To put your minds at rest, I will need a volunteer from the audience. H o w about you,Tommy? How's that back-
T o m m y Kirkenhazard gulped down half a glass of whiskey to b o l s t e r his n e r v e s , then m a d e his way to the cage.
/WW
o f the assembly and, i f n o m e m b e r w e r e willing, o n e would be c h o s e n by lottery. A bag of w h i t e balls, with o n e b l a c k . T h e spherical equivalent o f the s h o r t straw. ' N o n e e d for the bag,' said a voice. 'I will defend the creature.'
b o n e o f yours?'
/WW
the creature on trial could be defended by any m e m b e r
/WW
/WW
Heads t u r n e d to l o c a t e t h e speaker. It was a s l e n d e r young m a n w i t h a g o a t e e and p i e r c i n g b l u e eyes. He was
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w e a r i n g t i n t e d glasses and a lightweight linen suit. K r o n s k i had n o t i c e d h i m earlier, b u t c o u l d n o t put a
to the ideals of E x t i n c t i o n i s m . F o r years I have followed your career, since I was a boy in Dublin, in fact. Lately, however, I feel that the organization has lost its way, and I
n a m e t o the face, w h i c h disturbed h i m . 'And you are?' he asked, while swivelling his laptop so that the built-in c a m e r a was aimed at this stranger. T h e young m a n smiled. ' W h y d o n ' t we give your identification software a m o m e n t to whisper the answer to you.' Kronski t h u m b e d enter, the c o m p u t e r captured an image and five seconds later plucked m e m b e r s h i p details from the
am n o t the only one with this notion.' Kronski ground his t e e t h . So that was it. A naked challenge to his leadership. ' B e careful what you say, Pasteur.You tread on dangerous ground.' Pasteur glanced at the floor b e l o w him, w h e r e i c e w a t e r still sloshed in the pit beneath. 'You m e a n I could sleep
Extinctionists' file. Malachy Pasteur. Young French-Irish heir to an abattoir empire. Made a sizeable donation to the Extinctionists' coffers. His first conference. Like all the attendees, Pasteur was thoroughly vetted before his invitation was issued. A valuable addition to the ranks.
with the fishes. You would kill m e , D o c t o r ? A m e r e boy. I d o n ' t think that would b o l s t e r your credibility m u c h . ' He's right, fumed Kronski. / cant kill him; I must win this trial. T h e d o c t o r f o r c e d his m o u t h to smile. T d o n ' t kill
Kronski was all c h a r m . ' M a s t e r Pasteur, we are delighted to w e l c o m e you to M o r o c c o . B u t , tell m e , why would you wish to defend this
humans] he said. ' J
u s
t animals. Like the animal in this cage.'
Kronski's many supporters applauded, but that still left many silent.
creature? H e r fate is almost certainly sealed.' T h e young m a n walked briskly to the podium. 'I enjoy
/ was wrong to come here, K r o n s k i realized. It is too remote. Nowhere for private jets to land. Next year I will find some-
a challenge. It is a m e n t a l e x e r c i s e . ' 'Defending vermin is an e x e r c i s e ? '
where in Europe. I will announce the move as soon as I crush
'Especially vermin,' r e t o r t e d Pasteur, lifting the lid on his
this whelp.
laptop. 'It is easy to defend a servile, useful animal like the
' A l l o w m e t o explain the rules,' continued K r o n s k i ,
c o m m o n cow. B u t this? This will be a hard-fought battle.'
thinking, Explaining the rules puts me in charge, giving me the
'A pity to be crushed in battle so young,' said K r o n s k i ,
upper hand, psychologically speaking. ' N o need,' said Pasteur brusquely. 'I have read several
his l o w e r lip hanging with m o c k sympathy. Pasteur d r u m m e d his fingers on the podium. 'I have
transcripts. T h e p r o s e c u t o r puts his case, the defender puts
always liked your style, D o c t o r K r o n s k i . Your c o m m i t m e n t
his case. A few minutes of lively debate, then each table
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votes. Simple. Can w e please p r o c e e d , D o c t o r ? N o o n e h e r e appreciates their t i m e being w a s t e d /
We? We? Pasteur was swinging the Extinctionists his way without them even knowing it.
Clever, young man. Tutting yourself on the same side as the
Kronski s u m m o n e d every last drop of charisma from
jury. No matter. I know these people and they will never acquit a
inside himself, flashing b a c k to his youth, to those long
beast, no matter how pretty she is.
s u m m e r days spent watching his evangelist daddy whip up
'Very well. We shall p r o c e e d / He selected a document on his desktop. His opening statement. Kronski knew it by heart, but it was comforting to have the words easily accessible.
the crowds inside a canvas t e n t . He raised his arms high, each finger b e n t b a c k until the tendons strained.
' P e o p l e say that we Extinctionists hate animals/ began
'This is n o t what we are about, people,' he thundered.
Kronski. ' B u t this is n o t the case. We do n o t hate p o o r
' W e did n o t travel all this way for s o m e petty verbal spar-
dumb animals, rather we love humans. We love humans and
ring. This is what the Extinctionists are about.' Kronski
will do whatever it takes to ensure that w e , as a r a c e , survive
pointed a rigid finger at Holly. 'Ridding our planet of crea-
for as long as possible. This planet has limited r e s o u r c e s
tures like this.'
and I, for o n e , say we should hoard t h e m for ourselves.
K r o n s k i shot a sideways glance at Pasteur, w h o was
W h y should humans starve w h e n dumb animals g r o w fat?
leaning, chin on hands, a b e m u s e d l o o k on his face. Standard
W h y should humans freeze w h e n beasts lie toasty w a r m in
opposition behaviour.
their coats of fur?' Malachy Pasteur m a d e a noise s o m e w h e r e b e t w e e n a cough and a c h u c k l e . 'Really, D o c t o r K r o n s k i , I have read several variations on this speech. Every year, it s e e m s , you t r o t out the same simplistic arguments. Can we please focus on the creature before us tonight?'
' W e have a n e w species h e r e , friends. A dangerous species. It can m a k e itself invisible, it can hypnotize through speech. It was armed.' And, to m u c h oohing from the c r o w d , Kronski drew forth Holly's N e u t r i n o handgun from his p o c k e t . ' D o any of us wish to face a future w h e r e this could be
A tittering ripple spread among the banquet guests, and
pointed in o u r faces? Do we? T h e answer, I think, is clearly
Kronski had to struggle to contain his temper. It s e e m e d
no. Now, I ' m n o t going to p r e t e n d that this is the last one
he had a battle on his hands. Very well, then.
of its kind. I feel certain that t h e r e are thousands of these
' M o s t amusing, boy. I was going to take it easy on you, but n o w the gloves are off/ ' W e are delighted t o hear i t /
fairies, or aliens, or whatever, all around us. But does that m e a n we should grovel and release this little creature? I say no. I say we send a message. E x e c u t e o n e and the rest
A/WA
AAAA
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will k n o w w e m e a n business. T h e g o v e r n m e n t s o f the world
We kill when it benefits us. If an animal is using the planet's
despise us now, but t o m o r r o w they will c o m e banging down
resources and n o t directly contributing to our health, safety
our d o o r for guidance.' T i m e for the big finish. ' W e are
and c o m f o r t , we wipe it out. Simple as that. This was an
Extinctionists, and our t i m e is n o w ! '
ideal w o r t h fighting for. W o r t h killing for. But this . . .'
It was a g o o d speech and drew wave after wave of
Artemis pointed at the pit b e l o w him and Holly in her cage.
applause, which Pasteur rode out with the same b e m u s e d
'This is a circus. This is an insult to the m e m o r y of our ances-
expression.
tors, w h o gave their time and gold to the Extinctionists'
Kronski accepted the applause with a b o x e r ' s rolling of the shoulders, then nodded towards the opposite podium.
cause.' A r t e m i s w o r k e d hard on his eye c o n t a c t , c o n n e c t i n g
' T h e floor is yours, boy.'
with as many people as possible in the audience. Lingering
Pasteur straightened and cleared his throat . . .
for a m o m e n t with everyone. ' W e have an opportunity to learn from this creature. We
. . . A r t e m i s straightened and cleared his throat. T h e fake
owe it to our predecessors to find out if she can contribute
beard glued to his chin itched like crazy, but he resisted
to our coffers. If this is in reality a fairy, then w h o knows
the impulse to scratch it. In a fair arena, he would destroy
what magic it possesses. M a g i c that could be yours. If we
Kronski's arguments in about five seconds, but this was n o t
kill this fairy, we will never k n o w what unimaginable wealth
a fair arena, or even a sane o n e . T h e s e people w e r e blood-
dies with it.'
thirsty, jaded billionaires, using their m o n e y to buy illicit
A r t e m i s b o w e d . He had m a d e his point. It would n o t
e x c i t e m e n t . M u r d e r was just another service that could be
be enough to sway the bloodthirsty Extinctionists, he knew,
purchased. He n e e d e d to handle this c r o w d carefully. Push
but it might be enough to m a k e Kronski feel a little less
the right buttons. First of all he had to establish h i m s e l f as
cocky.
one o f t h e m . ' W h e n I was young, and the family wintered in South
T h e d o c t o r was waving his hands before the e c h o of Artemis's voice faded.
Africa, my grandfather would tell me stories of a time when
' H o w many times must we listen to this a r g u m e n t ? ' he
people had the right attitude towards animals. We kill 'em
w o n d e r e d . ' M a s t e r Pasteur accuses m e o f repeating m y s e l f
when it suits us, he said to m e . When it serves our purposes. This
while he repeats the tired argument of every defence counsel
is what the Extinctionists used to be about. A species was
we have ever listened to.' Kronski tapped his lips in horror.
not protected unless we humans benefited from its survival.
' O o h , let us n o t kill the creature for it is potentially the
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238
239
source of all our p o w e r and wealth. I r e m e m b e r spending a fortune on a sea slug that was supposed to cure arthritis. All we g o t was very expensive g o o . This is all supposition.' ' B u t this creature is m a g i c a l / o b j e c t e d A r t e m i s , banging the podium with a fist. ' W e have all heard h o w she can t u r n invisible. Even n o w h e r m o u t h is taped so she cannot hypno-
He thinks it's over, thought A r t e m i s . Poor man, and then, This beard really itches. He waited calmly until the furore had trailed away, then c a m e out from behind the podium. 'I was hoping to spare you this, D o c t o r , ' he said. ' B e c a u s e I r e s p e c t you so much.'
tize us. Imagine the p o w e r we could wield if we w e r e to
Kronski flapped his lips. 'Spare me what, M a s t e r Pasteur?'
u n l o c k the secrets of these gifts. If nothing else, they would
'You k n o w what. I think you have pulled the w o o l over
b e t t e r prepare us to deal with the rest of h e r k i n d /
everyone's eyes long enough.'
Kronski's main p r o b l e m was that he agreed with m u c h
Kronski was n o t in the least w o r r i e d . T h e boy was beaten
of his opposition's argument. It m a d e perfect sense to save
and everything else was was j u s t irritating chatter. Still,
the creature and tease h e r secrets from her, but he could
why n o t let Pasteur dig a hole for himself?
n o t afford to lose this argument. If he did, he might as well
'And what w o o l would that b e ? '
hand over the leadership.
' A r e you certain you want m e t o c o n t i n u e ? '
' W e have tried t o interrogate her. O u r b e s t m e n t r i e d and she told us nothing.' 'It is difficult to talk with a taped mouth,' A r t e m i s n o t e d drily.
Kronski's t e e t h glittered w h e n he smiled. ' O h , absolutely certain.' 'As you wish,' said A r t e m i s , approaching the d o c k . 'This creature was n o t our original defendant. Up until yesterday
K r o n s k i d r e w h i m s e l f to his full h e i g h t , l o w e r i n g t h e
we had a lemur. N o t quite a monkey, M i s t e r Kirkenhazard,
t i m b r e o f his v o i c e for effect. ' T h e h u m a n r a c e faces its
but close enough. I say we had a lemur, but in truth we
m o s t deadly e n e m y and you w a n t t o c o s y u p t o it. T h a t
almost had a lemur. It w e n t missing at the pick-up. T h e n ,
is n o t h o w we E x t i n c t i o n i s t s do things. If t h e r e is a t h r e a t ,
and this is i m p o r t a n t , then we w e r e sold this creature by
we w i p e it o u t . T h a t is h o w it has always b e e n . '
the same boy w h o almost sold us the lemur, undoubtedly
This brought a roar of approval from the c r o w d , b l o o d -
paid for from E x t i n c t i o n i s t s ' funds. D o e s anyone else think
lust trumping logic every t i m e . Several m e m b e r s w e r e on
this is a little off? I do. This boy keeps his l e m u r and sells
their feet, hollering. T h e y had had enough of argument and
us a supposed fairy.'
wanted s o m e action. Kronski's face was flushed with victory.
Kronski was n o t so c o c k y now. This Pasteur fellow had a lot of information.
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241
'Supposed fairy?'
stocks, all the standard stuff. But I also have an X - r a y camera
T h a t ' s right. Supposed. We have only your w o r d for it,
and display. J u s t give me a second.' A r t e m i s pressed a few
and o f c o u r s e that o f M i s t e r Kirkenhazard, w h o apparently
buttons, linking the phone by B l u e t o o t h to the laptops and
is your w o r s t enemy. N o b o d y is falling for that ruse, I assure
from there to the large-view screen.
you.'
'Ah, h e r e we are,' A r t e m i s said, passing the phone in
' E x a m i n e the thing yourself,' b l u r t e d K r o n s k i , glossing
front of his hand. On screen an a r r a n g e m e n t of phalanges,
over the Kirkenhazard accusation. T h i s is an easy argument
metacarpals and carpals stood out darkly inside a pale foam
t o win.'
of flesh. 'You see the b o n e s of my hand quite clearly. This
' T h a n k you, D o c t o r , ' said A r t e m i s . 'I believe I shall.'
is a very g o o d p r o j e c t i o n system you have, D o c t o r K r o n s k i .
A r t e m i s approached the cage. This was the t r i c k y part
I congratulate you.'
as it required sleight of hand and coordination, which w e r e the e l e m e n t s in every plan that he usually left to Butler. His p o c k e t bulged slightly with a couple of adhesive Nuskin bandages taken from M u l c h ' s medi-kit. He had told
Kronski's smile was as fake as the congratulations had been. ' D o you have a point, Pasteur, or are you j u s t showing us h o w clever you are?'
the security guard they w e r e nicotine patches and so he
' O h , I have a point, D o c t o r . And the point is that w e r e
had b e e n allowed bring t h e m through to the banquet. T h e
it n o t for the wideness of the b r o w and the pointed ears,
bandages' adhesive was activated by skin c o n t a c t and they
this creature would s e e m remarkably like a little girl.'
m o u l d e d themselves to the c o n t o u r s they w e r e applied t o , assuming the c o l o u r and t e x t u r e of the surrounding skin.
Kronski s n o r t e d . 'A pity about the ears and brow. B u t for t h e m you would have an argument.'
A r t e m i s ' s fingers hovered over his p o c k e t , but it was
'Precisely,' said A r t e m i s , and passed the phone before
n o t yet t i m e to t o u c h a bandage. It would simply stick to
Holly's face. On screen, he played a short m o v i e file he
his own hand. Instead, he r e a c h e d into his o t h e r p o c k e t for
had c o n s t r u c t e d b a c k in the shuttle. It showed Holly's skull
the phone he had stolen from the B e n t l e y b a c k at R a t h d o w n
with dark dense shapes on t e m p l e s and ears.
Park.
'Implants,' crowed A r t e m i s . 'Clearly the result of surgery.
'This phone is invaluable to m e , ' he told the Extinctionists.
Thisfairy is a clever fake.You have tried to dupe us, Kronski.'
'It's a little bulkier than other phones, but that is because I
Kronski's denials w e r e lost in the roar of the c r o w d . T h e
have b e e n installing add-ons for years. It is an amazing thing,
Extinctionists surged to their feet, decrying this despicable
really. I can stream television, watch movies, c h e c k my
con-job.
•VVSA
/WSA
/WW
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242
'You lied t o m e , D a m o n ! ' shouted T o m m y Kirkenhazard, with something like anguish. 'To me! ' P u t him in t h e pit,' called C o n t e s s a Irina K o s t o v i c h , h e r face as feral as that of the H o n s h u w o l f on h e r shoulder.
Play along, the wink said. / will get you out of this. At least A r t e m i s hoped this was what his wink c o m m u nicated and n o t something like any chance of another kiss later?
' M a k e Kronski e x t i n c t . He deserves it for dragging us
B a c k to business.
here.'
'It's a fake,' called A r t e m i s , holding high the c r u m p l e d
Kronski upped the volume on his podium m i k e . ' T h i s is ridiculous. If you have b e e n t r i c k e d , then so have I. N o ! I will n o t believe it. This boy, this Pasteur, is lying. My fairy is real. J u s t give me a chance to prove it.' T have n o t finished, D o c t o r , ' c r i e d A r t e m i s , stepping boldly to the d o c k . In b o t h hands he held a Nu-skin patch, slipped into his palms during the confusion. He could feel pinpricks of heat on his flesh as the adhesive was activated. He had to act quickly or his plans would be r e d u c e d to t w o flesh-coloured pads on his own hands. ' T h e s e ears do n o t s e e m right to m e . And your friend M i s t e r Kirkenhazard was m o s t gentle with them.' A r t e m i s s c r u n c h e d o n e Nu-skin patch into a rough c o n e ,
flesh-coloured bandage. 'It c a m e off in my hand.' Holly obligingly presented h e r profile to the w e b c a m . No m o r e pointed ear. Outrage was the dominant reaction from the Extinctionists. Kronski had tricked them all or, even worse, he had been bamboozled by a boy. A r t e m i s held the supposed fake ear aloft, squeezing it as though he w e r e strangling a poisonous snake. 'Is this the m a n we want to lead us? Has D o c t o r Kronski displayed sound j u d g e m e n t in this case?' A r t e m i s t h r e w the ' e a r ' to the ground. 'And supposedly this creature can hypnotize us all. I rather think h e r m o u t h is covered so she cannot speak.'
sealing the adhesive on itself. He thrust the o t h e r hand
W i t h one sharp m o v e m e n t , he ripped the tape from
through the bars and m a k e a great show of tugging on the
Holly's m o u t h . She w i n c e d and shot A r t e m i s a dour glare,
tip, while in reality spreading the second bandage over
but then quickly dissolved into tears, playing the part of
Holly's ear. Covering the entire tip and m o s t of the auricle.
human victim to perfection.
'It's c o m i n g away,' he g r u n t e d , making sure to mask the cage's c a m e r a with his f o r e a r m . T have it.' Seconds later the bandage was dry and o n e of Holly's ears was totally o b s c u r e d . A r t e m i s l o o k e d h e r in the eye and winked.
T didn't want to do it,' she sobbed. ' D o what?' A r t e m i s p r o m p t e d . ' D o c t o r Kronski t o o k m e from the orphanage.' A r t e m i s raised an eyebrow. The orphanage? Holly was adlibbing.
244
245
' H e told me if I had the implants, then I could live in A m e r i c a . After the operation I changed my m i n d , but the d o c t o r wouldn't let m e go.'
ture is real. And if she is n o t real, as you insist, then you have nothing to fear.' A r t e m i s s u m m o n e d his courage. 'Very well, do your
'An orphanage/ said A r t e m i s . ' W h y , that's b o r d e r i n g on the unbelievable.'
worst.' He stood squarely before the tiny needle b a r r e l , offering his chest.
Holly's chin dropped. ' H e said he'd kill me if I told.' A r t e m i s was outraged. ' H e said he'd kill you. And this is
'You are about to die, Pasteur,' said Kronski, without m u c h sympathy.
the man steering our organization. A man w h o hunts humans
'Perhaps I would b e , if you could squeeze your chubby
as well as animals.' He pointed an accusing finger at a bewil-
finger into the trigger guard,' said A r t e m i s , almost as if he
dered Kronski. 'You, sir, are w o r s e than the creatures we
were goading the d o c t o r into action.
all despise, and I demand you release this p o o r girl.' Kronski was finished and he k n e w it. B u t something could still be salvaged from this m e s s . He still had the group's a c c o u n t n u m b e r s and he was the only o n e with the
'To hell with you, then!' barked Kronski, and pulled the trigger. Nothing m u c h happened. A spark and a slight hum from the inner workings.
combination to the c o m p o u n d safe. He could be out of this
'It's broken,' gasped the doctor.
place in t w o hours with enough riches to last a few years.
'You d o n ' t say,' said A r t e m i s , w h o had r e m o t e - d e s t r u c t e d
All he had to do was s o m e h o w stop this Pasteur boy h a m m i n g it up.
the Neutrino's charge pack from the shuttle. Kronski raised his palms. ' O K , boy. O K . Give me a
And then he remembered. Ham!
m o m e n t to think.'
'And what about this?' he shouted, brandishing Holly's gun. 'I suppose this is fake too.'
'Just let the girl g o , D o c t o r . Save a shred of dignity. We d o n ' t e x e c u t e humans.'
T h e Extinctionists drew b a c k . C o w e r i n g behind their seats.
'I am in charge h e r e . I j u s t n e e d a second to gather myself. This wasn't supposed to happen. This is n o t h o w
'Absolutely,' sneered Artemis. 'A child's toy. Nothing more.' ' W o u l d you stake your life on i t ? '
T h e d o c t o r rested his elbows on the l e c t e r n , rubbing
A r t e m i s appeared to hesitate. ' N - n o n e e d for dramatics, D o c t o r . Your cause is lost. A c c e p t it.'
his eyes beneath the round tinted spectacles. How she said it would go? thought A r t e m i s . W e r e there
' N o , ' snapped K r o n s k i . ' I f the gun is real, then the crea-
AAAA
she said it would go . . .'
AAAA
AAAA
unseen forces at w o r k here?
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246
W h i l e Artemis was puzzling and Kronski's world collapsed
certain, having seen the video, no o n e in their right m i n d
around his ample shoulders, mobile phones began to ring in
could r e s p e c t this m a n ever again, m u c h less follow his
the banqueting hall. A lot of people w e r e receiving messages
lead.
all of a sudden. In m o m e n t s the r o o m rang with a discordant symphony of b e e p s , b r r r s and polyphonic tunes.
W h i l e the video played, a short message scrolled b e l o w the picture.
Kronski ignored this strange d e v e l o p m e n t , but A r t e m i s
Here we see Doctor Damon Kronski, the president of the
was anxious. He had things under c o n t r o l n o w and did not
Extinctionists, displaying surprising balance for a man his size.
n e e d anything to redress the scales, or for that m a t t e r tip
This reporter has learned that Kronski turned against animals
Kronski over the edge.
when he was mauled by an escaped koala at one of his politician
T h e reactions to the i n c o m i n g messages w e r e a m i x t u r e
father's rallies in Cleveland. Witnesses to the mauling say that young Damon 'squealed so sharp he coulda cut glass'. A talent
o f shock and g l e e .
the good doctor does not seem to have lost. Squeal, baby, squeal.
Oh, my God. Is this true? Is it real?
A r t e m i s sighed. / did this, he realized. It's just the kind of
Play it again. Turn up the volume.
thing I would do.
I don't believe this. Kronski, you fool. That's the last straw. We are a joke. The Extinctionists are
At another t i m e , he would have appreciated this t o u c h , but n o t now. N o t w h e n he was so close to freeing Holly.
finished. A r t e m i s realized that all these messages w e r e in fact the
Speaking of Holly.
same message. S o m e o n e had an E x t i n c t i o n i s t s ' database and
' A r t e m i s , get m e out o f here,' she hissed.
was sending t h e m all a video.
' Y e s , o f c o u r s e . T i m e t o go.'
Artemis's own phone trilled gently. O f c o u r s e i t would,
A r t e m i s rifled his p o c k e t s for a handy w i p e . Inside the
he had put his fake identity on every Extinctionist database
w i p e w e r e t h r e e long, c o a r s e hairs d o n a t e d b y M u l c h
he could find. And as his phone was still linked to the giant
Diggums. D w a r f hairs are actually antennae that dwarfs use
screen, the video mail began to play automatically.
to navigate in dark tunnels, and have b e e n adapted by the
A r t e m i s recognized the scene immediately. T h e leather
resourceful r a c e to serve as skeleton keys. No doubt, Holly's
souq. And the main player was K r o n s k i , standing on one
O m n i t o o l would have b e e n handier, but A r t e m i s could n o t
leg, squealing with a high-pitched ruptured-balloon inten-
risk losing that to security. T h e wipe had k e p t the hairs
sity. C o m i c a l was n o t the w o r d for it. Ridiculous, farcical
m o i s t and pliable until they w e r e n e e d e d .
and pathetic w e r e words that c a m e close. O n e thing was
/WW
/WW
/vWi
N / AAA
/WW
/WW
A r t e m i s r e m o v e d the first hair, b l e w a speck of moisture
^ M>
m
8 /WW
*o *o o o » o «0 /WW
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from its tip and inserted it into the cage l o c k , working it
k n e w the c o m b i n a t i o n to the safe and paid the wages on
through the cogs. As soon as he felt the hair harden in his
time.
fingers, he turned the makeshift key and the d o o r sprang open. 'Thank you, Mulch,' he whispered, then went to work on
T h e sharpshooters on the u p p e r t e r r a c e sent a few warning shots over the crowd's head, which caused u t t e r pandemonium.
Holly's centrally locked cuffs. T h e third hair would not even
' L o c k the building down,' said Kronski into the walkie-
be needed. In seconds Holly was free and rubbing her wrists.
talkie. 'I n e e d t i m e to gather my funds. Ten thousand dollars
' O r p h a n a g e ? ' said A r t e m i s . 'You d o n ' t think that was overdoing i t ? ' ' B o o hoo,' said Holly briskly. ' L e t ' s j u s t get b a c k to the shuttle.'
in cash for every m a n w h o stands by m e . ' T h e r e was no n e e d for further incentive. Ten thousand dollars was t w o years' wages to these m e n . D o o r s and shutters w e r e s l a m m e d down and m a n n e d
It was n o t to be that straightforward.
by burly guards, each o n e brandishing a rifle or a c u s t o m -
Kronski was being herded into a c o r n e r by a group of
made M o r o c c a n n i m c h a sword with rhino grip that Kronski
E x t i n c t i o n i s t s . T h e y harangued and even prodded and poked the doctor, ignoring his arguments, while overhead the video message played again and again.
had had m a d e for the security t e a m . T h e spooked Extinctionists bolted towards bathrooms or alcoves, anywhere that might have a window. T h e y frantically
Oops, thought A r t e m i s , closing his phone.
punched numbers into their phones, screaming for help from
Inevitably perhaps, K r o n s k i c r a c k e d . He b a t t e d his
anyone, anywhere.
t o r m e n t o r s aside like bowling pins, clearing a circle of
A few w e r e m o r e resourceful. T o m m y Kirkenhazard
breathing space for himself, then, panting, he pulled a walkie-
pulled out a c e r a m i c handgun he had smuggled in under his
talkie from its clip on his b e l t .
hat and t o o k a few potshots at the upper t e r r a c e from behind
' S e c u r e the area,' he w h e e z e d into the device. ' U s e all necessary force.' Even though the D o m a i n e des H o m m e s s e c u r i t y guards w e r e t e c h n i c a l l y w o r k i n g for t h e E x t i n c t i o n i s t s , t h e i r loyalties lay with the m a n w h o paid t h e i r salaries. T h a t m a n was D a m o n K r o n s k i . He m i g h t dress like a d e m e n t e d p e a c o c k and have the m a n n e r s of a d e s e r t dog, b u t he
a heavy teak bar. He was answered by a volley from above, with shattered bottles, m i r r o r s and glasses sending slivers Hying like arrowheads. W i t h a straight-fingered j a b to the solar p l e x u s , a tall Asian m a n quickly disarmed a d o o r guard. 'This way!' he called, flinging the fire d o o r wide. T h e portal was quickly j a m m e d with E x t i n c t i o n i s t t o r s o s .
if*
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A r t e m i s and Holly sheltered behind the cage, watching for a way o u t .
'You c a m e for m e , ' whispered Holly. ' T h a n k you.' T h e n the hand was g o n e .
' C a n you shield?' Holly twisted h e r chin and o n e a r m rippled out of sight.
All m a g i c has a p r i c e . W h e n fairies shield, they sacrifice
' I ' m l o w on j u i c e . I have j u s t about enough for a m i n u t e
fine m o t o r skills and clear thought. It is infinitely m o r e
or two. I've b e e n saving it.'
difficult to do a jigsaw w h e n your body is vibrating faster
A r t e m i s s c o w l e d . 'You are always low on j u i c e . D i d n ' t N u m b e r O n e fill you up with his signature m a g i c ? '
than a h u m m i n g b i r d ' s wings, even if your brain could stop rattling for long enough to focus on the puzzle.
' M a y b e if your bodyguard hadn't plugged me with a dart
In the L E P Academy, Holly had picked up a tip from an
— t w i c e . Maybe if I hadn't had to heal you at Rathdown
Atlantean gym c o a c h . It really helped to b e a t the shield-
Park. And maybe if I hadn't b e e n shielding in the souq,
shakes if you sucked your l o w e r abdominals in and up,
trying to find your monkey.'
strengthening your c o r e . It gave you something to focus on
'Lemur,' said A r t e m i s . ' A t least we saved Jayjay.'
and held your t o r s o a little tighter.
Holly ducked as a hail of glass shot over h e r head. ' M y
Holly practised the e x e r c i s e as she crossed the banquet
goodness, A r t e m i s . You sound like you actually care about
floor towards the k i t c h e n . W h e n a frantic, butter-knife-
an animal. N i c e b e a r d by the way.'
wielding E x t i n c t i o n i s t missed h e r by a shade, she thought
' T h a n k you. Now, do you think you could shield for long enough to disarm those t w o guards on the kitchen d o o r behind us?'
(hat s o m e t i m e s being invisible was m o r e dangerous than being in plain sight. T h e t w o guards o n t h e d o o r w e r e actually g r o w l i n g
Holly sized the t w o m e n up. B o t h had shotguns and w e r e
a t a n y o n e w h o v e n t u r e d t o o c l o s e . T h e y w e r e big, even
radiating enough m a l e v o l e n c e to ripple the air. 'Shouldn't
l o r h u m a n s , and H o l l y was glad that n o f i n e m o t o r skill
be a p r o b l e m . '
would b e c a l l e d for. T w o q u i c k j a b s i n t o t h e n e r v e c l u s t e r
' G o o d . D o i t quietly. W e d o n ' t want another b o t t l e n e c k . If we do get separated, let's m e e t s o m e w h e r e close. At the souq.' ' O K , ' said Holly, vibrating into invisibility. A second later A r t e m i s felt a hand on his shoulder, and heard a disembodied voice in his ear.
.ibove t h e k n e e should b e p l e n t y t o b r i n g t h e s e guys down. Simple, thought Holly, then, / shouldn't have thought that. Whenever you think that, something goes wrong. O f c o u r s e she was dead right. S o m e o n e started firing on Kronski's guards. Silver darts
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252
streaked through the air, then punctured skin with a sick-
Holly t u r n e d towards A r t e m i s , but he was lost in a clump of advancing Extinctionists.
ening thunk. Holly k n e w instinctively w h o the s h o o t e r was, then h e r suspicions w e r e confirmed w h e n she spotted a familiar
He must be somewhere in there, she thought, then she was pinned by the m o b , b o r n e aloft and into the k i t c h e n . ' A r t e m i s , ' she called, c o m p l e t e l y forgetting that she was
silhouette a n c h o r e d in the r o o f b e a m s .
still invisible. ' A r t e m i s ! '
Butler! T h e bodyguard was draped in a d e s e r t blanket, but Holly
B u t he was n o w h e r e to be seen. T h e world was a m e l e e
identified him from the shape of his head and also from his
of elbows and torsos. Sweat and screams. Voices w e r e in
unmistakable shooting position: left e l b o w c o c k e d out a
her ears and ragged breath on h e r face, and by the t i m e
little m o r e than m o s t m a r k s m e n preferred.
she had disentangled h e r s e l f from the pack, the banquet
Young Artemis sent him back to clear a path for us, she realized. Or maybe Butler made the decision himseff.
hall was virtually d e s e r t e d . A few stragglers, but no A r t e m i s . The souq, she thought. / will find him in the souq.
W h i c h e v e r it was, B u t l e r was n o t helping as m u c h as he h o p e d . W i t h the guards dropping at the fire e x i t , the
A r t e m i s tensed h i m s e l f to run. As soon as Holly t o o k the
Extinctionists w e r e piling over their fallen captors, desperate
guards out of c o m m i s s i o n , he would sprint as fast as he
to be free of this building.
could and pray that he didn't trip and fall. Imagine, to
Caged Extinctionists, thought Holly. I'm sure Artemis appre-
endure all of this only to be defeated by a lack of coordination. B u t l e r would be sure to say / told you so w h e n they
ciates that irony. J u s t as Holly drew b a c k h e r fists, the t w o guards at the kitchen d o o r c l u t c h e d their n e c k s and pitched forward,
m e t in the afterlife. Suddenly the p a n d e m o n i u m level j u m p e d a few n o t c h e s , and the screaming of the Extinctionists r e m i n d e d A r t e m i s
unconscious before they hit the floor. Nice shooting. Two shots in under a second from eighty
of R a t h d o w n Park's panicked animals.
metres out. With darts too, which are about as accurate as wet
Caged Extinctionists, he thought. Oh, the irony.
sponges.
T h e k i t c h e n - d o o r guards fell, clutching their throats.
She was not the only one to notice the unguarded door. A dozen hysterical Extinctionists rushed the portal, screaming
A r t e m i s b e n t low, like a sprinter waiting for the gun, then catapulted h i m s e l f from his hiding place behind the
like rock-band fans.
dock.
We need to exit this building. Now.
/WSA.
Nice work, Captain.
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
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Kronski hit him broadside with his full weight, tumbling t h e m b o t h through the railings into the d o c k . A r t e m i s
the pit was filled with blue-white flame that blasted black s c o r c h marks in the walls.
landed heavily on the baby chair and it collapsed under-
Nothing could have survived.
neath him, o n e of its arms raking along his side.
Kronski b r a c e d h i m s e l f against the d o c k rails, perspira-
' T h i s is all y o u r fault,' squealed K r o n s k i . ' T h i s was supposed to be the best night of my life.' A r t e m i s felt h i m s e l f being s m o t h e r e d . His m o u t h and nose w e r e j a m m e d by sweat-soaked purple material. He intends to kill me, thought A r t e m i s . / have pushed him too far. T h e r e was no t i m e for planning and, even if there were t i m e , this was not one of those situations where a handy mathematical t h e o r e m could be found to get Artemis out of his predicament. T h e r e was only only one thing to do: lash out.
tion dripping from the tip of his nose into the pit, evaporating on the way down. Do I feel bad about what just happened? he asked himself, aware that psychologists r e c o m m e n d e d facing trauma headon in o r d e r to avoid stress in later life. No, he found. / don't. In fact, I feel as though a weight has been If ted from my shoulders. Kronski raised h i m s e l f up with a great creaking and cracking o f knees. Now, where s the other one? he w o n d e r e d . / still have some weight to lose.
So A r t e m i s k i c k e d , punched and gouged. He buried his k n e e in Kronski's ample s t o m a c h and blinded him with his
A r t e m i s saw the flames b l o s s o m around h i m . He saw his
fists.
skin glow blue with their light and heard their raw roar,
All very superficial blows which had little lasting effect,
then he was through, unscathed.
e x c e p t o n e . A r t e m i s ' s right h e e l brushed against Kronski
Impossible.
chest. Kronski didn't even feel it. B u t the heel c o n n e c t e d
Obviously n o t . Obviously, these flames had m o r e bark
briefly with the oversized b u t t o n on the r e m o t e c o n t r o l in the doctor's p o c k e t , releasing the d o c k trapdoor. T h e second his brain registered the loss of b a c k support, A r t e m i s k n e w what had happened.
about t h e m than b i t e . Holograms? T h e pit floor yielded b e n e a t h his w e i g h t with a hiss of p n e u m a t i c s , and A r t e m i s found h i m s e l f in a s u b - c h a m b e r
/ am dead, he realized. Sorry, Mother.
l o o k i n g up at heavy steel d o o r s swinging c l o s e d above
A r t e m i s fell bodily into the pit, breaking the laser beam
him.
with his elbow. T h e r e was a b e e p and half a second later
The view from inside a swing-top bin.
&6
AAAA
8 AAAA
O A * -6 8 •§
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A very high-tech swing-top bin, with expanding gel hinges. Fairy design, without a doubt.
Magnetic field, he thought dully, a band of steel creasing his forehead.
A r t e m i s r e m e m b e r e d something Kronski had said earlier.
/ know what I will see, but I have no wish to see it.
This is not how she said it would go . . .
A pixie stood framed in the doorway, h e r tiny, beautiful
She . . . she. Fairy design. Endangered species. W h a t fairy had b e e n harvesting l e m u r brain fluid even before the Spelltropy epidemic? A r t e m i s paled. N o t her. Please n o t her. What do I have to do? he thought. How many times must I save the world Jrom this lunatic? H e s c r a m b l e d t o his k n e e s and saw h e had b e e n funnelled on to a padded pallet. B e f o r e he c o u l d roll off, O c t o b o n d s sprang f r o m r e c e s s e d a p e r t u r e s along t h e pallet's steel r i m , trussing h i m t i g h t e r than a t u m b l e d r o d e o cow. P u r p l e gas hissed f r o m a d o z e n overhead nozzles, shrouding the pallet. Hold your breath, A r t e m i s told himself. Animals don't know to hold their breaths. He held on until it felt as though his s t e r n u m would split, and then j u s t as he was about to exhale and suck in a huge breath, a second gas was p u m p e d into the chamber, crystallizing the first. It fell on to A r t e m i s ' s face like purple snowflakes. You are asleep now. Play possum. A small d o o r sank smoothly into the floor with a sound like air being b l o w n through a straw. A r t e m i s p e e k e d through o n e half-closed eye.
features twisted with their customary pouting cruelty. ' T h i s , ' squealed O p a l K o b o i , pointing a vibrating finger, 'is n o t a lemur.'
259
Ten-year-old A r t e m i s was sitting at a pre-arranged spot in o n e of the sniper windows, picking n o n - e x i s t e n t lint from his j a c k e t sleeve, w h i c h was his version of nervous pacing. ' W e l l ? ' he asked, steeling h i m s e l f for the answer.
T H E HAIRY O I 1 E IS D E A D
C H A P T E R 13:
' T h e female g o t out,' said Butler. He thought it b e t t e r n o t to m e n t i o n that the long-haired male had had everything under c o n t r o l until A r t e m i s ' s video arrived. A r t e m i s caught the implication. ' T h e female? T h e o t h e r o n e was there t o o ? '
T H E L E A T H E R SOUQ
B u t l e r nodded. ' T h e hairy o n e is dead. He a t t e m p t e d a rescue and it didn't w o r k out.'
B U T L E R j o g g e d from 661
the E x t i n c t i o n i s t s '
A r t e m i s gasped. ' D e a d ? ' he said. ' D e a d ? '
c o m p o u n d to the leather souq. A r t e m i s was
'Repeating the word w o n ' t change its meaning,' said Butler
waiting in the building in which they had
sharply. ' H e tried to rescue his friend and Kronski killed him
planned the previous day's e x c h a n g e . Police
for it. But what's done is done, eh? And at least we have our
p r e s e n c e in Fez a m o u n t e d to no m o r e than a couple of
diamonds.' Butler checked his temper. ' W e should move out
t w o - m a n patrols and so it was easy for s o m e o n e of Butler's
for the airport. I need to run the preflight checks.'
I TV/J/O^
e x p e r i e n c e to sneak around without being d e t e c t e d . T h o u g h
A r t e m i s was left stunned and silent, unable to take his
it was hardly illegal to visit a medina, it was certainly
eyes from the bag of diamonds that winked accusingly from
frowned on to stroll around a tourist area with a large rifle
their slouched p e r c h on his lap.
strapped to one's b a c k . B u t l e r ducked into a dark c o r n e r and quickly b r o k e down
Holly was n o t having any l u c k . H e r shield was so weak
his dart rifle into almost a dozen parts, slotting t h e m into
that she switched it off to save h e r last spark for a small
various rubbish tips. It was possible that he could slip the
healing if it was n e e d e d , and no s o o n e r had h e r image
Fez Sai'ss airport customs m e n s o m e baksheesh and simply
solidified than o n e of Kronski's goons spotted h e r and
stow the weapon under his seat, but these days it was b e t t e r
walkie-talkied his entire squad. N o w she was running for
to be safe than sorry.
h e r life through the m e d i n a , praying that A r t e m i s was at
/Jwv
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
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260
the m e e t i n g p o i n t and that he had thought to b r i n g the scooter.
waiting, Artemis.
N o o n e was taking p o t s h o t s a t her, w h i c h was e n c o u r aging, u n l e s s
/ am corralled, she thought desperately. You'd better be
Kronski wanted to
do the potshotting
himself. No t i m e to think about that now. Survival was the priority. T h e m e d i n a was quiet this late in the evening, with only
It o c c u r r e d to Holly then that she was leading the posse directly to A r t e m i s , but t h e r e was no o t h e r option. If he w e r e waiting, then he could help; if n o t , then she was h e r own anyway. She j i n k e d left b u t four huffing guards b l o c k e d the alleyway, all hefting vicious long-bladed knives.
a few straggling t o u r i s t s and die-hard m e r c h a n t s still
The other way, I think.
walking the streets. Holly dodged b e t w e e n t h e m , pulling
Right, then. Holly skidded into the leather souq, heels
down whatever she could r e a c h to g e t in the way of the
throwing up dust fans.
stampede o f security m e n behind her. She tugged over
Where are you, Artemis?
t o w e r s of baskets, upended a kebab stand and shouldered
She cast h e r gaze upwards towards their observation
a table of spices, dashing a w h i t e wall with m u l t i c o l o u r e d
point, but there was nothing t h e r e . N o t even the telltale
arcs.
s h i m m e r of a hide.
T h e thunder o f footsteps behind h e r did n o t r e c e d e i n
He's not here.
the least. H e r tactics w e r e n o t working. T h e security guards
She felt panic scratch at h e r h e a r t . Holly S h o r t was an
w e r e simply t o o large and w e r e bustling past the obstacles.
e x c e l l e n t field officer, but she was way out of h e r jurisdic-
Dodge and weave, then. Lose them in the alleyways.
tion, h e r league and h e r t i m e .
This t a c t i c was no m o r e succesful than the last. H e r
T h e leather souq was quiet now, with only a few workers
pursuers w e r e familiar with the medina's layout and c o -
scraping skins on the surrounding rooftops. Lanterns crackled
ordinated their pursuit on hand-held radios, herding Holly
b e l o w the roofline and the giant urns lurked like alien pods.
towards the leather souq.
T h e smell was just as bad as it had been the previous day,
Where I'll be in the open. An easy target.
possibly worse, as the vats had had longer to c o o k . T h e stench
Holly r a c e d on, A r t e m i s ' s loafers cutting into h e r heels.
of droppings hit Holly like a soft, feverish glove, further addling
A series of cries and curses arose behind h e r as she barged
her mind.
without apology through bands of tourists, and shoulder-
Keep running. Find a nook.
s l a m m e d tea boys, sending trays flying.
Holly spent half a m o m e n t considering which body part
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she would trade for a weapon, then sprinted for a doorway in the adjacent wall. A guard appeared, dragging his knife from his sheath. T h e
Holly could see their scars and p o c k m a r k s , see the desert in their nails and on their cuffs. Smell their breath and count their fillings.
blade was red. Maybe blood, maybe rust. Holly switched
She cast h e r eyes towards the heavens.
direction, losing a shoe in the turn. T h e r e was a window one
'Help,' she c r i e d .
floor up, but the wall was cracked — she could make the
And it began to rain diamonds.
climb. T w o m o r e guards. Grinning. O n e h e l d a n e t , like a gladiator.
BELOW THE
ExTincrionisTs' compounD
Holly slid to a halt. Were in the desert! Why does he have a fishing net?
' T h a t is n o t a lemur,' repeated O p a l K o b o i , d r u m m i n g a
She tried again. An alleyway barely broad enough for an
tiny t o e on the floor. T k n o w it is n o t a l e m u r because it
adult human. She was almost there w h e n a fat guard with
has no tail and it seems to be wearing clothes. This is a
a ponytail to his waist and a mouthful of yellowed teeth
human, M e r v a l l . A M u d Boy.'
wedged h i m s e l f into the avenue, blocking it. Trapped. Trapped. No escape and not enough magic to shield. Not even enough to mesmerize. It was difficult to stay c a l m , in spite of all h e r training and e x p e r i e n c e . Holly could feel h e r animal instincts bubble in the pit of h e r s t o m a c h .
A second pixie appeared in the doorway. Mervall B r i l l . O n e o f the infamous Brill b r o t h e r s w h o would break O p a l out of h e r padded psych cell s o m e years later. His e x p r e s sion was a m i x t u r e of puzzlement and terror. N o t pretty on any face. 'I d o n ' t understand it, Miss K o b o i , ' he said, twiddling
Survive. Do what you have to do.
the top b u t t o n on his c r i m s o n lab coat. 'It was all set up
But what could she do? O n e u n a r m e d , child-sized fairy
for the lemur. You m e s m e r i z e d Kronski yourself.'
against a squadron of a r m e d m u s c l e . T h e y f o r m e d a ragged c i r c l e around her, weaving b e t w e e n the urns in a s l o w - m o t i o n slalom. Every set of
O p a l ' s nostrils flared. ' A r e
you
suggesting this is
s o m e h o w my fault?' She clutched h e r throat, as if the very idea caused h e r breath to fail.
greedy glittering eyes focused on h e r face. C l o s e r and closer
' N o , n o , no,' said M e r v a l l hurriedly. 'It could n o t be
they c a m e , spreading their arms wide in case their prey
Miss K o b o i ' s fault. Miss K o b o i is, after all, perfection itself.
made a dart for freedom.
Perfection does n o t m a k e mistakes.'
6 ^ o ^ ^ . ^ ^ ^ a * * uo
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This outrageous statement would be recognized as blatant
O p a l did n o t b r e a k h e r stride. ' O h , you might as well
toadying by right-minded p e o p l e , but O p a l K o b o i found it
harvest h i m . H u m a n brain fluid is a g o o d moisturizer. T h e n
fair and rational.
we pack up and find that l e m u r ourselves.'
'Exactly. W e l l said, M e r v a l l . A pity your b r o t h e r does n o t have a tenth of your wisdom.' Mervall smiled and shuddered. T h e smile was in acceptance of the c o m p l i m e n t , the w i n c e was because the m e n t i o n
'Should I dump his drained corpse in the animal pit?' O p a l t h r e w up h e r a r m s . ' O h , for heaven's sake. M u s t I tell you h o w to do everything? C a n ' t you show a little initiative?'
of his twin had r e m i n d e d him that his b r o t h e r was at this
M e r v a l l w h e e l e d the pallet after his boss.
m o m e n t l o c k e d in a cage with a red river hog, as punish-
The animal pit it is, then, he thought.
m e n t for n o t c o m p l i m e n t i n g O p a l o n h e r n e w b o o t s . Miss K o b o i was having a bad day. Currently, t w o out of seven w e r e bad. If things g o t any w o r s e , even though the
T H E L E A T H E R SOUQ
wages w e r e astronomical, the Brill b r o t h e r s might be forced to seek alternative e m p l o y m e n t . Mervall decided to distract his boss. ' T h e y ' r e going crazy up t h e r e . Firing weapons. Duelling with cutlery. T h o s e Extinctionists are an unstable lot.' O p a l leaned over A r t e m i s , sniffing gently, wiggling h e r fingers to see if the human was awake. ' T h e l e m u r was the last o n e . I was this close to being all-powerful.' ' H o w c l o s e ? ' asked M e r v a l l .
D i a m o n d s rained down in glittering showers. Falling stars twinkling in the lamp light. Young Artemis'sfee, Holly realized. He is throwing me a lifeline. F o r a m o m e n t the guards w e r e transfixed. T h e i r faces w o r e the dazed expression of children w h o have w o k e n and are surprised to find themselves in a g o o d m o o d . T h e y s t r e t c h e d out their fingers, watching the diamonds b o u n c e and t u m b l e .
O p a l squinted at h i m . ' A r e you being funny?'
T h e n o n e b r o k e the spell. 'Des diamantsV he c r i e d .
' N o . I sincerely w o n d e r e d —'
Hearing the word spoken aloud galvanized his compan-
'It's an expression,' snapped the p i x i e , striding b a c k towards the main chamber. Mervall n o d d e d slowly. ' A n e x p r e s s i o n . I s e e . W h a t should I do with the h u m a n ? '
ions. T h e y dropped to their k n e e s , patting the dusky ground for the precious stones. M o r e dived into the pungent vats as they registered tiny plops made by stones impacting on liquid.
/VWA
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Mayhem, thought Holly. Perfect. She glanced upwards j u s t in t i m e to see a small hand withdraw into the black rectangle of a window. What made him do it? she w o n d e r e d . That was a most unArtemis-like gesture. A guard diving past h e r leg r e m i n d e d h e r that things w e r e still pretty dire. In their greed they have forgotten me, hut perhaps they will remember their duty when the stones are pocketed. Holly spared a m o m e n t to salute up at young A r t e m i s ' s
Holly, on the o t h e r hand, was proving easier to kill. H e r vision was blurring, h e r limbs w e r e treading w a t e r and the weight of the world was on h e r chest. T h e only sense firing on all cylinders was h e r sense of smell. What a way to go. Inhaling motes of pigeon dropping with your last breath. She heard h e r ribs groan. / wish Kronski could smell this. An idea sparked in h e r brain, the last e m b e r in a dying grate.
window, then r a c e d out of his view towards the nearest
Why shouldn't he smell it? It's the least I can do.
alley, only to be flattened by a puffing D a m o n K r o n s k i .
Holly r e a c h e d deep into h e r c o r e o f m a g i c , searching
T w o for two,' he huffed. '1 got b o t h of you. This m u s t be my lucky day.' When will this end? thought Holly incredulously. How can these things continue to happen?
for that last spell. T h e r e was a flicker deep inside. N o t enough to shield, or even m e s m e r i z e , but perhaps a m i n o r healing. Usually healing spells w e r e used o n r e c e n t w o u n d s ,
Kronski pressed down on h e r like an enraged elephant,
but K r o n s k i ' s a n o s m i a was a lifelong a i l m e n t . F i x i n g it
frown lines framing his tinted glasses, sweat flowing in sheets
n o w c o u l d b e dangerous and w o u l d a l m o s t c e r t a i n l y b e
down his face, dripping from his pouting lip.
painful.
' E x c e p t , this is not my lucky day, is it?' he shouted, a
Oh well, thought Holly. If it hurts him, it hurts him.
k e e n n o t e of hysteria on the edge of his tones. 'You saw to
She r e a c h e d up a hand past the f o r e a r m on h e r throat,
that. You and your a c c o m p l i c e . W e l l , my gas c h a m b e r t o o k
inching it along Kronski's face, willing the m a g i c into h e r
care of him. N o w I will take care of you!'
fingertips.
Holly was stunned. Artemis dead?
Kronski did n o t feel threatened. ' W h a t ' s this? A r e you 7
playing got your nose?
She would n o t believe it. Never. H o w many people had
Holly did n o t answer. Instead she closed h e r eyes, j a m m e d
w r i t t e n A r t e m i s Fowl off and lived to r e g r e t it? Plenty. She
t w o fingers up Kronski's nostrils and sent h e r last sparks
was o n e o f t h e m .
o f m a g i c down those channels.
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This is what Kronski could smell, and it was driving him
'Heal,' she said. A wish and a prayer. Kronski was surprised but n o t initially upset.
out o f his m i n d . He lay flat on his b a c k , flinching and pawing the sky.
'Hey, what the —' he said, then sneezed. T h e sneeze was
'Foul,' he said, repeating the w o r d over and over. ' F o u l ,
powerful enough to pop his ears and roll him off his captive. ' W h a t are you, five years old? Sticking fingers up my nose.'
foul. F o w l , Fowl.' Holly crawled to h e r k n e e s , coughing and spitting on to
A n o t h e r sneeze. Bigger this t i m e . Blowing a t r u m p e t of steam from each nostril.
the dry sand. H e r entire being felt b a t t e r e d and bruised
'This is pathetic. You people are really —'
from b a c k to spirit. She l o o k e d at Kronski's expression and
A third sneeze, this one traumatizing the entire body.
realized that there was no point in asking him questions.
Tears streamed down Kronski's face. His legs j i t t e r e d and
T h e president o f the E x t i n c t i o n i s t s was b e y o n d logical
his glasses shattered in their frames.
conversation for the t i m e being. Possibly for good, she thought. / don't see him leading any
' O h my,' said K r o n s k i , w h e n he had his limbs under c o n t r o l . ' S o m e t h i n g ' s different. S o m e t h i n g has changed.'
international organizations for a while. Holly n o t i c e d something. O n e o f Kronski's lenses had
T h e n the smell hit him. 'Aarrgh,' said K r o n s k i , and began to squeal. His tendons
c o m p l e t e l y shattered, revealing the eyeball underneath. T h e
tightened, his t o e s pointed and his fingers ripped holes in
iris was a strange violet, almost the same shade as the spec-
the air.
tacles had b e e n , but this was n o t what caught Holly's atten-
'Wow,' said Holly, massaging h e r throat. This was a stronger reaction than e x p e c t e d .
tion. T h e edge of the retina was ragged, as though it had b e e n nibbled on by tiny sclera fish. This man has been mesmerized, Holly realized. A fairy is
T h e smell was bad, but Kronski acted like he was dying. W h a t Holly had n o t fully grasped was the power of the
controlling him.
doctor's awakened sense of smell. Imagine the j o y of seeing
She c l i m b e d to h e r feet and hobbled one-shoed down
for the first t i m e , or the euphoria of a first step. T h e n square
the nearest alley, the voices of squabbling g r e e d fading
that feeling and make it negative. Take a ball of poison, dip
behind her. If a fairy is involved, then nothing is as it seems. And, if nothing
it in thorns and manure, wrap it in a poultice of festering bandages, boil the whole lot in a cauldron of unspeakably
is as it seems, then perhaps Artemis Fowl still lives.
vile e x c r e t i o n s and shove it up your nose.
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BELOW THE
ExTincrionisTs' c o m p o u n D
admitted, as he barged through the lab double doors. If the LEP ever found out what she was doing here, they would lock her
Mervall Brill winked at h i m s e l f in the c h r o m e d o o r of a body freezer. I am a handsome chap, he thought, and this lab coat covers the paunch rather well. ' B r i l l ! ' called O p a l from h e r office. ' H o w is that brain fluid coming?' M e r v j u m p e d . 'Just sucking him dry now, Miss K o b o i . '
up forever and a day. T h e double d o o r s led to a long, t r i p l e - h e i g h t laboratory. It was a place of misery. Cages w e r e stacked to the ceiling, each o n e filled with a trapped a n i m a l . T h e y m o a n e d and k e e n e d , rattling their b a r s , butting the d o o r s . A r o b o t food-pellet dispensing m a c h i n e w h i r r e d along the n e t w o r k , spitting g r e y pellets i n t o the appropriate cages.
T h e pixie put his weight behind the trolley with its human
T h e c e n t r e island was a series of operating pallets. Scores
cargo, trundling it down a short c o r r i d o r to the lab itself.
of animals lay sedated on the tables, secured, like A r t e m i s ,
Being stuck in this tiny facility with O p a l K o b o i was no
with rigid O c t o b o n d s . A r t e m i s caught sight of a Siberian
picnic. J u s t the three of t h e m for weeks on end, draining
tiger, paws in the air and bald patches shaved into its skull.
the fluids from endangered species. O p a l could afford to
On each patch, there sat what looked like a tiny slice of
hire a thousand lab assistants to w o r k for her, but she was
liver. As they passed, one of the slices made a squelching
uber-paranoid about secrecy. Opal's level of paranoia was
sound and a tiny light-emitting diode on its ridge flashed
such that she had begun to suspect plants and inanimate
red.
objects of spying on her. T can g r o w c a m e r a s ! ' she had shrieked at the Brill b r o t h e r s during o n e briefing. ' W h o ' s to say that despicable
M e r v stopped to peel it off and A r t e m i s saw to his h o r r o r that the thing's underside was spiked with a dozen dripping spines.
c e n t a u r Foaly hasn't s u c c e e d e d in splicing surveillance
'Full to the b r i m , M i s t e r Super Genetically Modified
equipment to plants. So get rid of all the flowers. R o c k s
L e e c h M o s q u i t o thing. You are a disgusting abomination,
t o o . I d o n ' t trust t h e m . Sullen little blebers.'
yes you are. B u t you sure k n o w h o w to siphon brain fluid.
So the Brill twins had spent an afternoon scouring the
I'd say you're due a squeezing.'
facility for anything that might contain a bug. Even the re-
M e r v p u m p e d a foot pedal to open a nearby fridge and
cycling toilet-scent blocks had to go, as Opal was convinced
finger-tinkled the beakers inside until he found the right
they were photographing her when she used the facilities.
one.
Still, though, Miss Koboi is right to be paranoid, M e r v
' H e r e w e go. SibTig B E '
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273
He placed the b e a k e r on a c h r o m e w o r k surface, then squeezed the l e e c h like a sponge until it surrendered its
Surely he will see my chest heaving. He will sedate me, and it will all be over.
b o u n t y of brain fluid. Afterwards the l e e c h was casually
B u t Mervall apparently did n o t n o t i c e .
tossed into the trash.
' O o h , I hate you guys. Disgusting. I t e l l you s o m e -
'Love you l o t s / said M e r v a l l , returning to A r t e m i s ' s pallet. 'Miss you loads.'
thing, h u m a n , i f y o u r s u b c o n s c i o u s can h e a r m e , b e glad y o u ' r e a s l e e p , b e c a u s e you do not w a n t to go t h r o u g h this
A r t e m i s saw everything through the slit of a closed eye.
awake.'
This was a depraved, h o r r i b l e place and he had to get out of here.
A r t e m i s almost c r a c k e d then. B u t he thought of his m o t h e r , with less than a day left to her, and he kept silent.
Holly will come for me, he thought, and then, No, she wont. She'll think I'm dead.
He felt his left hand being tugged, and heard M e r v a l l grunt.
This realization chilled his b l o o d .
' S t u c k tight. J u s t a tick.'
/ went into the flames.
T h e grip l o o s e n e d and A r t e m i s tracked Mervall's m o v e -
He would have to save himself, then. It would n o t be
m e n t with his ears and n o s e . A brush of soft belly on his
the first t i m e . Stay alert, a c h a n c e will c o m e and you must
elbow. Breath blowing past his ear. Mervall was at his left
be ready to take it.
shoulder, reaching across.
Mervall found r o o m on the operating section and parked A r t e m i s neatly in it.
A r t e m i s opened his right eye j u s t enough, and rolled his pupil into the slit. T h e r e was a theatre light directly over-
'And he squeezes it into an impossible space. T h e y said it couldn't be done. T h e y w e r e wrong. Mervall Brill is the
head, craned in above the operating table on a thick, flat chrome arm.
king o f trolley parking.' T h e pixie b e l c h e d . ' W h i c h i s n o t
C h r o m e . Reflective.
the future I had in m i n d for m y s e l f as a younger pixie.'
A r t e m i s watched Mervall's actions in the surface. T h e
T h e n , somewhat moodily, he trawled a low-level aquarium
pixie tapped the O c t o b o n d ' s touch-sensitive c o n t r o l pad,
with a perforated jug until it was full of convulsing super
revealing a G n o m m i s h keyboard. T h e n , singing a popular
leeches.
pixie pop song, he tapped in his password. O n e n u m b e r
Oh no, thought A r t e m i s . Oh, please.
with each beat o f the c h o r u s .
And then he was forced to close his eyes as Mervall t u r n e d to face h i m .
' P i x i e s r o c k hard!' he sang. ' E x t r e m e pixie hard r o c k , baby.'
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'WSA
AAAA
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W h i c h s e e m e d unlikely t o A r t e m i s , but h e was glad o f the song as it gave him t i m e to file Mervall's passcode. M e r v a l l released o n e o f the b o n d s , allowing h i m t o e x t e n d A r t e m i s ' s f o r e a r m . Even if the human did happen to wake up, all he could do was flail.
A r t e m i s was finding it hard to motivate himself. It felt so easy lying on the pallet, j u s t letting all his troubles run out o f his a r m . When you decide to die, A r t e m i s thought sluggishly, it doesn't matter how many people want to kill you.
'Now, my little l e e c h , do your nasty w o r k for Aunt O p a l , and I will r e w a r d you by squeezing your innards into a b u c k e t . ' He sighed. ' W h y are all my b e s t lines wasted on annelids.'
He did wish the animals would calm down. T h e i r chattering and chirping w e r e interfering with his m o o d . T h e r e was even a p a r r o t s o m e w h e r e squawking a phrase.
T h e n he plucked a l e e c h from the j u g , pinched it to m a k e the spines stick out and slapped it on to A r t e m i s ' s e x p o s e d wrist.
' W h o ' s your m o m m a ? ' it asked over and over again. ' W h o ' s your m o m m a ? ' My momma is Angeline. She's dying.
Artemis felt nothing but an immediate sense of well-being.
A r t e m i s ' s eyes o p e n e d .
I'm being sedated, he realized. An old troll trick. Cheer you
Momma. Mother.
up before you die. It's a good ploy and anyway how bad can dying be? My life has been one trial after another.
He lifted his free a r m and bashed the u n w e l c o m e l e e c h against one of the O c t o b o n d s . It e x p l o d e d in a spatter of
M e r v a l l was c h e c k i n g his c h r o n o m e t e r . His b r o t h e r had b e e n in that recycling cage behind the galley for an awfully
mucus and b l o o d , leaving half a dozen spines jutting from A r t e m i s ' s arms like the spears of tiny soldiers.
long t i m e . T h a t red river hog might decide to have h i m s e l f
That's going to hurt eventually.
a bite of pixie m e a t .
Artemis's throat was dry, his n e c k was twisted and his
' I ' l l j u s t c h e c k , ' h e decided. ' B e b a c k b e f o r e the l e e c h
vision was impaired, but, even so, it t o o k him barely a minute
is full. First b l o o d , then brain. You should have c o m p l i -
to activate the keypad with Mervall's code and retract the
m e n t e d Miss Opal's b o o t s , brother.'
bonds.
A n d off h e t o d d l e d d o w n t h e c e n t r e aisle, p l u c k i n g
If these are alarmed, I'm in trouble.
t h e m e s h o f e a c h cage a s h e passed, driving t h e animals
B u t there was no k l a x o n . No pixies c a m e running.
wild.
/ have time. But not much.
'Pixies r o c k hard!' he sang. ' E x t r e m e pixie hard r o c k , baby.'
He picked the spines from his skin, wincing n o t from pain, but from the sight of the r e d - r i m m e d holes in his
W,
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AAAA
/W\A
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277
wrist. A rivulet of b l o o d ran from each wound, but it was
cated theft-prevention safeties before O p a l had him vapor-
slow and watery. He would n o t b l e e d to death.
ized w e r e m i n i m a l . He would have to go up.
Coagulent in the spines. Of course.
' D o you like my little laboratory?' said a voice.
A r t e m i s zombie-walked across the lab, gradually straight-
A r t e m i s stared past the goggle display. O p a l stood before
ening out the kinks. T h e r e w e r e hundreds of eyes on h i m .
h i m , hands on hips.
T h e animals w e r e silent now, n o s e s , beaks or snouts pressed
' Q u i t e a place, isn't i t ? ' she continued, in English. 'All
against the w i r e m e s h , waiting to see what would develop.
these tunnels w e r e j u s t h e r e , waiting for us. Perfect. As
T h e only sound c a m e from the food-pellet r o b o t zipping
soon as I found t h e m , I k n e w I had to have t h e m , which
through its routine.
is why I persuaded D o c t o r Kronski to m o v e here.'
All I need to do is escape. No need for confrontation or saving the world. Leave Opal be, and run away.
Information is power, thought A r t e m i s . Don't give her any. ' W h o are you?' he asked.
B u t , o f c o u r s e , i n the w o r l d o f A r t e m i s Fowl things are
T am the future queen of this world, at the very least.
rarely straightforward. A r t e m i s donned n e t w o r k goggles he
You may refer to me as Miss K o b o i , for the n e x t five
found hanging from a l o w peg, activated the v-board and
minutes. After that you may refer to me as aaaaarrrrgh,
used Mervall's password to log on to the n e t w o r k . He
hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.'
n e e d e d to k n o w w h e r e he was and h o w to g e t out. T h e r e were design plans to the entire facility stored on a desktop file. No security, no encryption. W h y would there
As pompous as I remember. 'I s e e m to be bigger than you, Miss K o b o i . And, as far as I can see, you have no weapons.'
be? It wasn't as if any of the humans above would wander
Opal laughed. ' N o weapons?' she cried, spreading h e r
down and, even if they did, humans could not read Gnommish.
arms. ' T h e s e creatures have given me all the weapons I need.'
A r t e m i s studied the plans with care and growing anxiety.
She stroked the sleeping tiger. 'This big kitty augments my
T h e facility consisted of a series of i n t e r c o n n e c t e d m o d u l e s ,
mind c o n t r o l . T h o s e sea slugs focus my energy beams. A shot
h o u s e d in a n c i e n t tunnels b e n e a t h the E x t i n c t i o n i s t s '
of liquidized dolphin fin m i x e d with just the right amount
c o m p o u n d , but t h e r e w e r e only t w o ways out. He could
of cobra venom turns the c l o c k back a hundred years.'
go out the way he had c o m e in, which was n o t ideal as it
' T h i s is a weapons factory,' breathed A r t e m i s .
led straight b a c k u p t o K r o n s k i . O r h e could c h o o s e the
'Exactly,' said Opal, gratified that someone finally under-
shuttle p o r t on the l o w e r level, w h i c h would m e a n stealing
stood. 'Thanks to these animals and their fluids, I have b e c o m e
and piloting a shuttle. His chances of overriding c o m p l i -
the m o s t powerful magician since the d e m o n warlocks. T h e
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279
Extinctionists have b e e n rounding up the creatures I need.
tapping h e r b o w lips with a finger. ' W a i t a m o m e n t , human.
Fools. T r i c k e d by a cheap blast of holographic flames. As if
W h a t do you k n o w of my l e m u r ? ' She t o o k the finger away
I would kill these wonderful creatures before I drain their
from h e r m o u t h and ignited a pulsing sphere of flame at its
juices. You humans are such idiots. Your governments spend
tip, melting h e r nail varnish. T asked you, what do you know
their fortunes looking for power when all the t i m e it is
of my lemur?'
cavorting around your j u n g l e s /
' N i c e b o o t s , ' said A r t e m i s , then s e l e c t e d an option on
T h a t ' s quite a speech,' said A r t e m i s , wiggling his fingers, tapping the v-board that only he could see.
the goggle screen with a flick of his finger. Are you sure you wish to open all the cages? asked the computer.
' S o o n I will be —' ' D o n ' t tell me — soon you will be invincible.'
T h e Extinctionists w e r e sneaking b a c k into the c o m p o u n d
' N o , actually,' said O p a l , with admirable patience. ' S o o n
led by the intrepid T o m m y Kirkenhazard, w h o brandished
I will be able to manipulate t i m e itself. All I n e e d is the —'
his e m p t y pistol with decidedly m o r e bravado than he felt.
And suddenly everything fell into place for A r t e m i s .
T got stuff in that compound,' he repeatedly told the mass
Everything about this w h o l e affair. And he k n e w he would
huddled behind him. 'Expensive stuff. And I ain't leaving it
be able to escape.
behind.'
' T h e lemur. All you n e e d is the lemur.'
M o s t of the rest had expensive stuff t o o , and n o w that
Opal clapped. 'Exactly, you bright Mud Boy.That wonderful
K r o n s k i was catatonic in the souq and his guards s e e m e d
lemur brain fluid is the last ingredient I need for my magic
to have fled with their sparkling booty, this would appear
boosting formula.'
t o b e the b e s t t i m e t o r e c l a i m their belongings and head
A r t e m i s sighed. ' M a g i c b o o s t i n g formula? Listen t o yourself.'
for the a i r p o r t . M u c h to Kirkenhazard's relief, the c o m p o u n d s e e m e d
Opal missed the m o c k i n g t o n e , possibly because she
utterly deserted, though the gelatinous group was spooked
didn't hear it a lot. T had a w h o l e bunch of lemurs before,
several times by night shadows jumping in the M o r o c c a n
but the L E P appropriated t h e m to cure s o m e plague and I
wind.
lost the rest in a fire. All my test subjects g o n e , and their fluids are quite impossible to replicate. T h e r e is one left and I n e e d him. He is my cloning m o d e l . W i t h that l e m u r I will control t i m e itself.' Opal stopped speaking for a m o m e n t ,
/WW
/WW
/WW
/ ain't never shot nothing with an empty gun, he thought. But I don't imagine it's too effective. T h e y r e a c h e d the d o o r to the main hall, which hung from the frame on a single hinge.
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' O K , folks/ said Kirkenhazard. ' T h e r e ain't n o p o r t e r s around to carry our stuff, so you got to hump it yourselves/ ' O h , m y L o r d / said C o n t e s s a Irina K o s t o v i c h , and swooned into the arms of a Scottish oil baron. ' G a t h e r whatever you can and we m e e t b a c k h e r e in fifteen minutes.'
the air from his lungs. If Opal does not get me, the animals will. I need to direct this stampede. Artemis ducked behind one of the operating tables, pulling out the tiger's anaesthetic drip as he passed, and squinted through the spokes of passing legs for an appropriate animal. O p a l roared at the creatures in an amalgamation of their
T h e contessa was m u t t e r i n g something.
tongues. It was a piercing sound and split the animal phalanx
' W h a t was that?' asked Kirkenhazard.
down the c e n t r e so that it flowed around her. As the herd
' S h e said she has a pedicure b o o k e d for the morning.'
passed, O p a l t o o k potshots with pulsing blasts of energy
Kirkenhazard held up a hand, listening. ' N o . N o t that.
that e r u p t e d from h e r fingers and scythed through entire
D o e s anyone else hear r u m b l i n g ? '
rows o f creatures, k n o c k i n g t h e m senseless t o the ground. Cages t u m b l e d like building b l o c k s , refrigerators spewed
T h e animals charged through the open cage doors with savage glee, hopping, j u m p i n g , flying and sliming. Lions, leopards, various m o n k e y s , parrots, gazelles, hundreds of creatures all with one idea in m i n d : escape. O p a l was n o t amused. 'I cannot believe you did that, M u d Person. I will wring your brain out like a sponge.' A r t e m i s ducked his head low, n o t caring at all for the
their c o n t e n t s across the tiles. My distraction is being chopped down, thought A r t e m i s . Time for an exit. He spied a set of hooves stomping towards him and steadied h i m s e l f for a j u m p . It's a quagga, he realized. Half horse, half zebra and there hasn't been one in captivity for a hundred years. Not exactly a thoroughbred stallion but it will have to do.
brain / s p o n g e imagery. If he avoided Opal's regal stare, then
T h e ride was a little r o u g h e r than A r t e m i s was acus-
she c o u l d n o t m e s m e r i z e h i m . U n l e s s h e r a u g m e n t e d
t o m e d to on the Fowl Arabians. No steadying stirrups, no
powers allowed h e r access to the brain without the conduit
creaking saddle, no snapping reins. N o t to m e n t i o n the facts
o f the optic n e r v e .
that the quagga was u n b r o k e n and scared out of its wits.
Even if he had not ducked, he would have b e e n shielded by the tide of creatures that engulfed him, snapping, buffeting and kicking. This is ridiculous, he thought, as a m o n k e y ' s e l b o w drove
A r t e m i s patted its n e c k . Ludicrous, he thought. This entire affair. A dead boy escaping on an extinct animal. A r t e m i s grabbed tufts of the quagga's m a n e and tried
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to direct it towards the open doorway. It b u c k e d and k i c k e d ,
A r t e m i s hauled b a c k o n the quagga's spiked m a n e ,
whipping its striped head round to nip at A r t e m i s with
jumping it on to an operating table. T h e beast s n o r t e d and
strong, square t e e t h . He dug in his heels and held on.
c o m p l a i n e d , but did as it was bid, skittering the length of
O p a l was busy protecting h e r s e l f from a wave of animal vengeance. S o m e of the larger predators w e r e n o t as c o w e d as their cousins and decided that the b e s t way to r e m o v e the threat posed by O p a l K o b o i was to eat her.
one table and leaping across to the n e x t o n e . O p a l loosed a shot in their direction, but it was absorbed by a b r a c e of c o n d o r s . T h e door was directly before them, and Artemis feared
T h e tiny pixie twirled like a d e m o n i c ballerina, shooting
the quagga would falter, but no - it butted through to the
blasts of magical energy that ballooned at h e r shoulders,
corridor connecting the lab to the holographic-flame chamber.
gathered force in roiling spheres at h e r elbows and shot
A r t e m i s quickly o p e n e d the c o n t r o l panel in his stolen n e t w o r k goggles and c h o s e the r a m p setting.
forth with liquid pulsations. A r t e m i s had never seen anything like it. S t r i c k e n animals
It t o o k maddening m o m e n t s for the platform to e x t e n d
simply froze in mid-air, m o m e n t u m utterly drained, drop-
itself, and for those seconds A r t e m i s r o d e the quagga round
ping to the ground like statues. I m m o b i l e but for their
in circles to take its m i n d off dislodging the u n w e l c o m e
terrified rolling eyes.
rider on its b a c k , and to m a k e t h e m b o t h a m o r e difficult
She is powerful indeed. I have never seen a force like this. Opal
target if O p a l followed t h e m through the corridor. An eagle swooped by, its feathers raking A r t e m i s ' s c h e e k .
must never be allowed to capture Jayjay. O p a l was running out o f m a g i c . H e r bolts f i z z l e d out or spiralled off target like errant squibs. She abandoned t h e m and d r e w t w o pistols from h e r b e l t . O n e was i m m e diately batted from h e r hand by the tiger that had l u m b e r e d to j o i n the fray, but O p a l did n o t submit to hysteria. She quickly t h u m b e d the o t h e r gun to a broad-spread setting
A muskrat c l a m b e r e d along his t o r s o , hopping to the rising platform. T h e r e was light above, the sickly wavering b e a m s of a faulty strip light. B u t light nevertheless. ' C o m e on, girl,' said A r t e m i s , feeling very m u c h the cowboy. 'Yee-haw.'
and slashed the barrel from side to side as she fired, releasing The Extinctionists gathered around T o m m y Kirkenhazard's
a fan of silver energy. T h e tiger was the first to drop, with a l o o k on his face that said not again. Several m o r e followed, cut off in mid-
inside the finger. ' A h , I d o n ' t hear nothing,' admitted Tommy. T must have
s c r e e c h , howl or hiss.
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raised finger, listening intently as if the noise emanated from
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b e e n dreaming. After all, it's b e e n a stressful night for human-lovers.' T h e n the lodge burst open and the Extinctionists w e r e
'It's a dropping of s o m e kind,' v o l u n t e e r e d M e r v a l l quickly. 'Judging from the size and t e x t u r e , I would say o n e of the big cats g o t a little nervous.'
utterly engulfed in a sea of beasts. Kirkenhazard went down under a couple of chacma bab-
Opal sat on a b e n c h , extending the b o o t . 'Pull it off, Mervall.'
oons, vainly pulling the trigger on his empty gun and shouting over and over, 'But we killed you, darn it. We killed you.' Though there would be no fatalities in the compound that
She placed h e r sole on Mervall's forehead and pushed until he t u m b l e d backwards, clutching the dropping-laden footwear.
night, eighteen people were hospitalized with bites, skin burns, broken bones and various infestations. Kirkenhazard
' T h a t M u d Boy. H e knows about m y lemur. W e m u s t follow h i m . He is tagged, I take it.'
fared the w o r s t . T h e baboons ate his gun and the hand holding
' O h yes,' confirmed M e r v a l l . 'All the n e w c o m e r s are
it and then turned the unfortunate man over to a groggy
sprayed on landing. T h e r e ' s a radioactive t r a c e r in his every
tiger, w h o found himself waking in a very bad m o o d .
pore right now. Harmless, but there's n o w h e r e on this planet
N o t one of the Extinctionists noticed a small dark craft
that he can hide from us.'
rising silently from behind one of the chalets. It flew across
' G o o d . E x c e l l e n t , in fact. I think of everything, do I n o t ? '
the central park and scooped up a long-haired youth from the
'You do, Miss K o b o i , ' droned D e s c a n t . 'Brilliant you are.
back of what looked like a small stripy donkey. T h e craft spun
Astounding is your fabulosity.'
in a tight arc, like a stone in a sling, then hurtled into the night sky, as though it had to be somewhere in a real hurry. Pedicures, and indeed all spa t r e a t m e n t s , w e r e cancelled for the n e x t day.
' W h y thank you, D e s c a n t , ' said O p a l , as ever oblivious to sarcasm. 'And I thought you'd be upset after the pig pen. Fabulosity isn't a w o r d , by the way. In case you're thinking of writing h o w wonderful I am in your diary.' 'Point taken,' said D e s c a n t seriously.
O p a l was desolate to find that, on top of everything else, h e r b o o t s w e r e ruined. ' W h a t is that stain?' she demanded of Mervall and his r e c e n t l y liberated twin, D e s c a n t . ' D u n n o , ' m u t t e r e d D e s c a n t , w h o was still a bit m o o d y
O p a l offered h e r o t h e r foot t o M e r v a l l . ' G o o d . N o w set the self-destructs on this place and let's g e t the shuttle prepped. I want to find this human and kill him i m m e d i ately. We were t o o nice last t i m e , with the l e e c h e s . This t i m e i m m e d i a t e death.'
from his t i m e in the cage.
M e r v a l l w i n c e d . He was holding t w o b o o t s covered in
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tiger droppings, and he'd prefer to wear those than be in
She's harvesting animal fluids to increase h e r own m a g i c .
that human's shoes.
If she gets h e r hands on Jayjay, she'll be invincible.' Holly did not have time to be incredulous. 'That's wonder-
A r t e m i s lay flat on his b a c k in the cargo hold, wondering
ful. Opal K o b o i . I k n e w this little trip was missing a psychotic
if he could possibly have d r e a m e d the past few minutes.
e l e m e n t . If Opal pinged us, then she'll be on our tail in
S u p e r - l e e c h e s , sleeping tigers and a g r u m p y quagga.
something a little m o r e war-worthy than this clunker.'
He felt the floor vibrate beneath him and k n e w that they w e r e moving at several times the speed of sound. Suddenly the vibration disappeared, to be replaced by a far m o r e sedate h u m . T h e y w e r e slowing down!
'Shields?' 'Nothing m u c h . We might fool human radar but n o t fairy scanners.' ' W h a t can w e d o ? '
A r t e m i s hurried to the c o c k p i t , w h e r e Holly was glaring
T n e e d to keep us up h e r e in the air-lanes with all the
at a readout as if she could change the information displayed
human traffic. We stay sub-sonic and d o n ' t draw attention
t h e r e . Jayjay was in the co-pilot's seat and s e e m e d to be in
to ourselves. T h e n at the last m o m e n t we m a k e a b r e a k for
charge o f steering.
Fowl Manor. It w o n ' t m a t t e r if O p a l sees us then, because
A r t e m i s pointed at the lemur. T h i s may s e e m like a silly question, but is Jayjay . . .' ' N o . Autopilot. And nice to see you alive, by the way. You're w e l c o m e for the rescue.' A r t e m i s t o u c h e d h e r shoulder. ' O n c e again, I owe you
by the t i m e she catches us w e ' l l be b a c k in the t i m e stream.' M u l c h Diggums p o k e d his head through from the mail b o x . 'Nothing m u c h in h e r e . A few gold coins. W h a t say I keep t h e m ? And did I hear s o m e o n e m e n t i o n O p a l K o b o i ? ' ' D o n ' t w o r r y about it. Everything is under c o n t r o l . '
my life. Now, I hate to m o v e directly from gratitude to
M u l c h guffawed. ' U n d e r control? Like Rathdown Park
petulance, but why have we slowed down? T i m e is running
was under c o n t r o l . Like the leather souq was under c o n t r o l . '
out. We had three days, r e m e m b e r ? T h e r e are only hours
'You're n o t seeing us at our best,' A r t e m i s admitted. ' B u t
left.'
in t i m e you will c o m e to respect Captain S h o r t and m e . '
Holly tapped the readout. ' W e w e r e pinged by s o m e -
M u l c h ' s expression doubted it. 'I'd b e t t e r go and l o o k
thing at the c o m p o u n d . S o m e o n e ' s c o m p u t e r s have down-
up respect in the dictionary, because it m u s t n ' t m e a n what
loaded our schematics. Can you tell me any m o r e about
I think it m e a n s , eh, Jayjay?'
that?' ' O p a l K o b o i , ' said A r t e m i s . ' O p a l is behind everything.
T h e l e m u r clapped his delicate hands and chattered with what sounded like laughter.
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'It looks like you've found an intellectual equal, M u l c h / said Holly, returning to h e r instruments. 'It's a pity he isn't
Opal was pained. 'Please, D e s c a n t . U s e short words. D o n ' t force m e t o vaporize you.' This was a hollow threat, as Opal had not been able to
a girl; then you could m a r r y him.' M u l c h imitated shock. ' R o m a n c e outside your species.
produce so much as a spark since the compound. She still had
N o w that's disgusting. W h a t kind of weirdo would kiss
the basics — mind control, levitation, that kind of thing — but
s o m e o n e w h e n they w e r e n ' t even part of the same species?'
she would need some serious bed rest before she could muster a lightning bolt. T h e Brills did not need to know that, though.
A r t e m i s massaged his suddenly pounding t e m p l e s . It's a long way to Tipperary, he thought, and then a Jew more
' H e r e ' s my idea. I ran the lab tapes through voice r e c o g nition and got a regional m a t c h . W h o e v e r that M u d Boy
miles to Dublin.
is, he lives in central Ireland. Probably Dublin. I want you to get us down there as fast as you can, D e s c a n t , and when
'A shuttle?' said O p a l . 'A fairy shuttle?' T h e K o b o i craft was hovering at an altitude of thirty
that mining shuttle drops out of the air lanes . . .' Opal
m i l e s , tipping the b o r d e r of space. Starlight winked on the
closed h e r tiny fingers round an imaginary ant, squeezing
hull of their matt-black shuttle and the Earth hung b e l o w
the b l o o d from its body. ' W e will be waiting.' 'Fabulicious,' said D e s c a n t .
t h e m , wearing a stole of clouds. 'That's what the sensors show,' said M e r v a l l . 'An old mining
model.
Not
much
under
the
hood
and
zero
firepower. We should be able to catch it.'
FOWL
ItiAnoR
'Should?' said O p a l , stretching an ankle to admire h e r 1
n e w red b o o t s . ' W h y should?
T h e sun had risen and was sinking again by the t i m e Holly
' W e l l , we had h e r for a while. T h e n she w e n t sub-sonic.
dragged the spluttering shuttle over the Fowl estate wall.
I would guess their pilot is riding the human flight lanes
' W e ' r e close to the deadline and this piece of j u n k is
until they feel safe.'
close to dead,' she said to A r t e m i s . Holly placed a hand on
O p a l smiled devilishly. She liked a challenge.
h e r heart. 'I can feel N u m b e r O n e ' s spark dying inside, but
' O K , let's give ourselves every advantage. We have the
there's still time.'
speed and we have the weapons. All we n e e d is to point ourselves in the right direction.' ' W h a t an incrediferous idea,' smirked D e s c a n t .
A r t e m i s nodded. T h e sight o f the m a n o r s o m e h o w made his m o t h e r ' s plight seem even m o r e urgent. / have to go home.
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' W e l l d o n e , Holly. You did it. S e t us down in the
dig up your b o o t y and fly far away. D u m p this heap in the
rear courtyard. We can access the house by the kitchen door/
sea and live off your earnings for a few years. Just promise
Holly pressed a few buttons. 'Around the b a c k it is. Scanning for alarms. Found t w o and a sneaky third. M o t i o n sensors, if I ' m n o t mistaken. O n l y o n e alarm is being r e m o t e l y m o n i t o r e d and the o t h e r t w o are self-contained. Should I disable the r e m o t e alarm?'
me that you w o n ' t sell to humans.' ' O n l y the junk,' said M u l c h . 'And did you say that I could keep the shuttle?' 'Actually, I ' m asking you to scrap it. You'll be doing me a favour.'
' Y e s , Holly, please disable the alarm. Anybody h o m e ? ' Holly c h e c k e d the t h e r m a l imaging. ' O n e w a r m body. Top floor.'
M u l c h grinned. ' I ' m a generous person. I could do you a favour.' Holly smiled b a c k . ' G o o d . And r e m e m b e r , when w e m e e t
A r t e m i s sighed. Relieved. ' G o o d . Just Mother. She will
again, none of this ever happened, or it probably won't.'
have taken her sleeping tablets by now. Little me can't be
' M y lips are sealed.'
b a c k yet.'
A r t e m i s squeezed past h i m . ' N o w there's something I
Holly set the shuttle down as gently as she could, b u t
would pay to see. M u l c h Diggums with his m o u t h closed.'
the gears w e r e stripped and the suspension bags w e r e
' Y e s , nice m e e t i n g you t o o , M u d Boy. I l o o k forward to
drained. T h e r e w e r e dents in the stabilizers and the g y r o s c o p e was spinning like a weather vane. T h e landing gear stripped a channel of c o b b l e s t o n e s from the c o u r t y a r d surface, tumbling t h e m like b r i c k s of t u r f before the plough. A r t e m i s gathered Jayjay in his arms.
robbing you in the future.' A r t e m i s shook his hand. T l o o k forward to it myself, believe it or n o t . We will have s o m e fine times.' Jayjay r e a c h e d out for a handshake. 'You l o o k after the human, Jayjay,' said M u l c h seriously.
' A r e you ready for m o r e adventures, little m a n ? '
' H e ' s a bit dim, but he m e a n s well.'
T h e lemur's round eyes w e r e filled with anxiety and he l o o k e d to M u l c h for reassurance.
' G o o d b y e , M i s t e r Diggums.' 'Later, M a s t e r Fowl.'
'Always r e m e m b e r , ' said M u l c h , tickling the creature's chin, 'that you are the s m a r t one.'
Opal was on her third round of the Gola S c h w e e m medi-
T h e dwarf found an old duffel bag and began stuffing the remaining c o n t e n t s of the fridge inside.
chamber.
' N o need for that,' said Holly. ' T h e ship is yours. Take it,
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tative circle chant w h e n M e r v a l l burst into h e r private
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' W e found the shuttle, Miss K o b o i , ' he panted, clutching
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a flexi-screen to his chest. T h e y w e n t supersonic for barely
t w o fingers rigidly e x t e n d e d . T h e fingers w e r e n o t a loaded
a m i n u t e over the Mediterannean. B u t it was e n o u g h /
weapon but they could break b o n e s with enough m o m e n t u m
' H u m m h u m m haaa. R a h m u m m h u m m haaaa,' intoned O p a l , finishing h e r chant. 'Peace be inside m e , tolerance all around m e , forgiveness in my path. Now, M e r v a l l , show me w h e r e the filthy human is, so that I may feed him his organs/ Mervall proffered the flexi-screen. ' R e d dot. East c o a s t / 'Military?' ' N o , surprisingly. It's a r e s i d e n c e . No defences whatsoever.' O p a l c l i m b e d o u t o f h e r s n u g g l e - m e chair. ' G o o d . R u n a few scans. W a r m up the c a n n o n s and g e t me down there.' ' Y e s , Miss K o b o i . ' 'And M e r v a l l ? ' 'Miss K o b o i ? ' 'I think little D e s c a n t has a crush on m e . He told me earlier that I was very phototractive. P o o r little simpleton. C o u l d you tell him that I am unavailable? If you d o n ' t , I shall have to have him killed.' M e r v sighed. 'I shall tell h i m , Miss K o b o i . I feel sure he will be disconnipted.'
behind t h e m . ' C o m e on, A r t e m i s . N u m b e r O n e is weaker now, so we have to j u m p soon.' A r t e m i s stepped round a weight-sensitive pad on the twelfth step. 'Nearly t h e r e . Seconds away.' His study was exactly as he had left it, the wardrobe still open, a scarf drooping from the top shelf like an escaping snake. ' G o o d , ' said A r t e m i s , his confidence growing. 'This is the spot. T h e e x a c t spot.' Holly was panting. ' A b o u t t i m e . I ' m having t r o u b l e holding on to the signal. It's like running after a smell.' A r t e m i s put an a r m round h e r shoulder. A group of three — tired, hungry but e x c i t e d . Holly's shoulders shook with an exhaustion and tension she had kept hidden until now. 'I thought you w e r e dead,' she said. ' M e t o o , ' a d m i t t e d A r t e m i s . ' T h e n I realized that I c o u l d n ' t die, n o t in this time.' 'I p r e s u m e you're going to explain that to m e . ' 'Later. O v e r supper. N o w can we open the t i m e stream,
A r t e m i s found h i m s e l f scratching Jayjay's head as they m o v e d through the manor. ' B e calm, little chap. No one can hurt you now. W e ' r e safe.' Holly was behind him on the stairs, guarding the rear,
friend?' T h e r e was a sudden swish as the bay-window curtain slid b a c k . Young A r t e m i s and B u t l e r w e r e t h e r e , b o t h wearing foil suits. B u t l e r unzipped his suit to reveal a large gun strapped across his chest.
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' W h a t was that about a t i m e s t r e a m ? ' asked ten-year-
' I ' l l tell you nothing, pixie she-devil,' he said, Adam's apple k n o c k i n g nervously against the gun b a r r e l .
old A r t e m i s .
' O o o h , ' said Opal, stamping with frustration. 'Isn't anyone M u l c h Diggums was burying a gold coin as a sacrifice to Shammy, the dwarf god of g o o d fortune, when the earth e x p l o d e d underneath him and he found h i m s e l f straddling
afraid o f m e ? ' She stripped off a glove, placing a t h u m b on M u l c h ' s temple. 'Now, show me everything.'
the blade of a shuttle i c e - b r e a k e r prow. / never even heard that coming, he thought, and then, So much for Shammy.
And with a few remaining sparks of ill-gotten m a g i c , she sucked every m e m o r y of the past few days from M u l c h ' s
Before he could gather h i m s e l f sufficiently to figure up
brain. It was an e x t r e m e l y unpleasant sensation even for
from down, M u l c h found h i m s e l f t u m b l e d to the base of
s o m e o n e used t o expelling large a m o u n t o f material from
a silver ash t r e e with the barrel of a N e u t r i n o restricting
his p e r s o n . M u l c h gibbered and b u c k e d as the last few days
the m o v e m e n t of his Adam's apple. His beard hairs instinc-
w e r e vacuumed from his head. W h e n Opal had what she
tively realized that the gun was n o t friendly and twined
wanted, the d w a r f was left unconscious in the m u d .
themselves round the b a r r e l .
He would wake up an h o u r later with the starter chip
' N i c e shuttle,' said M u l c h , playing for t i m e until the stars in his vision flickered o u t . ' W h i s p e r e n g i n e , I ' m guessing.'
for an L E P shuttle in his p o c k e t and no idea h o w he'd g o t there. O p a l c l o s e d h e r eyes and flicked t h r o u g h h e r n e w
T h r e e pixies stood before him. Two males and a female. Generally pixies were n o t very threatening creatures, but
memories. 'Ah,' she said, smiling. 'A t i m e stream.'
the males were a r m e d and the female had a l o o k in her eyes. 'I bet,' said M u l c h . ' T h a t you would set the w o r l d on fire, j u s t to w a t c h it burn.'
' T h e r e isn't t i m e for this,' insisted A r t e m i s . 'I think there is,' argued ten-year-old A r t e m i s . 'You have
O p a l tapped the suggestion i n t o a small e l e c t r o n i c notepad on h e r p o c k e t computer.
b r o k e n into my house again, the least you can do is explain that time stream c o m m e n t . N o t to m e n t i o n the fact that you are alive.'
'Thanks for that. N o w tell m e everything' I'll resist for a minute, then Jeed her some misinformation,
A r t e m i s the elder flicked his hair away from his face. 'You m u s t recognize me now. S u r e l y '
thought M u l c h .
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'This is n o t a shampoo c o m m e r c i a l . Please stop flicking your hair.'
A r t e m i s the elder c l u t c h e d Jayjay to his chest. ' G e t me a pair of scissors,' he said.
Holly was b e n t almost double, h e r hand on h e r h e a r t . 'Hurry,' she groaned. ' O r I'll have to go w i t h o u t you.'
O p a l ran into the manor, casually squashing the magical
'Please,' A r t e m i s pleaded. ' W e n e e d to go. It's a m a t t e r
nausea that flared upon entering a human dwelling without
of life and death.'
permission.
Young A r t e m i s was u n m o v e d . 'I had a feeling you would be b a c k . This is w h e r e it all began, right on this spot. I
A time stream, she thought, almost giggling with e x c i t e m e n t . Finally I can test my theories.
reviewed the security tapes and you simply appeared in this
T h e manipulation o f t i m e had long b e e n Opal's ultimate
r o o m . T h e n you followed me to Africa, so I thought if I
goal. To be able to c o n t r o l one's passage through t i m e was
saved the creature's life you might end up b a c k h e r e with
the greatest power. B u t h e r m a g i c was n o t strong enough
my lemur. We simply b l o c k e d o u r heat signatures and
without the lemur. I t t o o k teams o f L E P w a r l o c k s t o slow
waited. And h e r e you are.'
t i m e down for a few hours; the m a g i c required to open a
'That's pretty flimsy reasoning,' said A r t e m i s the elder. ' W e w e r e obviously after the lemur. O n c e we had the lemur, why would we r e t u r n h e r e ? '
d o o r to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the m o o n . Opal tapped this into h e r notepad.
'I realize the l o g i c was flawed, but I had nothing to lose. And, as we can see, a l o t to gain.'
Reminder. Shoot down the moon? Viable? B u t , if she could gain e n t r a n c e to the tunnel, Opal felt
Holly did n o t have the patience for a Fowl gloating session. ' A r t e m i s , I k n o w you have a h e a r t . You're a good p e r s o n even if you d o n ' t k n o w it yet. You sacrificed your diamonds to save my life. W h a t will it take for you to let us g o ? ' Young A r t e m i s considered this for an infuriating m i n u t e and a half.
sure that she would quickly m a s t e r the science involved. It's more than likely an intuitive organism and, after all, I am a genius. She scaled the stairs, mindless of the scuff marks the high human steps inflicted on h e r n e w b o o t s . Mervall and D e s c a n t trailed behind, surprised at this lack of footwear
' T h e truth,' he said eventually. 'I n e e d to k n o w the
prudence.
absolute truth about all of this. W h a t kind of creature are
'I got thrown in the pig pen for b o o t s , ' m u t t e r e d D e s c a n t .
you? W h y does he l o o k so familiar? W h a t makes the l e m u r
'Now, she's scratching those ones on the stairs.Typical K o b o i
so special? Everything.'
inconsistency. I think I ' m getting an ulcer.'
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Opal r e a c h e d the upper landing and raced immediately through an open doorway. ' H o w does she k n o w that's the right r o o m ? ' w o n d e r e d Descant. ' O h , I d o n ' t know,' said M e r v a l l , resting his hands on
THE HOLE i n T H E ACE
C H A P T E R 14:
his k n e e s . Scaling human steps is n o t easy for pixies. Big heads, short legs, tiny lungs. 'Maybe it's the magical red g l o w c o m i n g from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl o f the t e m p o r a l winds.' D e s c a n t nodded. 'You could be right, brother. And d o n ' t
f\ „M 11JI r
T h e Brill b r o t h e r s t o o k o n e l o o k at each other, then t u r n e d and ran as fast as their tiny legs would carry t h e m . N o t fast enough.
Safejor the moment. Jayjay was safe. S o o n A r t e m i s ' s m o t h e r
to c l o s e . Also my b o o t s are ruined. S o , boys, I am looking for s o m e o n e to blame.'
felt h e r s e l f r e l a x as soon as they
entered the stream.
O p a l traipsed from the r o o m , h e r expression sour. ' T h e y have gone,' she announced. 'And the tunnel is about
HOLLY
J
think I d o n ' t k n o w sarcasm w h e n I hear it.'
would be well, and w h e n that was accomplished Holly decided that she would punch h e r erstwhile friend in his smug face. / did what I had to do, A r t e m i s had said. And I would do it again. And she had kissed h i m . Kissed him! Holly u n d e r s t o o d A r t e m i s ' s m o t i v e s , but it wounded h e r deeply that he had felt the n e e d to blackmail her. / would have helped anyway. Definitely. Would you? Would you have disobeyed orders? Was Artemis right to do it his way? T h e s e w e r e questions that Holly k n e w would haunt h e r for years. If she had years left to her. T h e j o u r n e y was m o r e arduous than b e f o r e . T h e t i m e
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stream was eroding h e r sense of self and there was a syrupy
T h e r e was no n e e d for an answer as Jayjay decided he
temptation t o r e l a x h e r c o n c e n t r a t i o n . H e r world s e e m e d
liked the sound of Foaly's voice and gave the nearest screen
less i m p o r t a n t wrapped in its sparkling waves. Being part
a lick. T h e little primate's tongue crackled and he scam-
of an eternal river would be a pleasant way to exist. And
pered b a c k , shooting Foaly a glare.
if the fairy races w e r e wiped out by plague, what of it?
' O n e lemur,' said the centaur. ' N o female?'
N ° l ' s p r e s e n c e p r i c k e d h e r consciousness, bolstering
Holly shook the stars from h e r eyes, the fog from h e r
h e r resolve. T h e little d e m o n ' s p o w e r was evident in the
head. T h e stream lingered in h e r head like the last m o m e n t s
stream, a shimmering thread of c r i m s o n pulling t h e m on
o f sleep.
through the m i a s m a . T h i n g s m o v e d in the shadows. Darting,
' N o . No female. Y o u ' l l have to c l o n e him.'
sharp things. Holly sensed t e e t h and h o o k e d fingers.
Foaly p e e r e d past Holly to the shuddering f o r m on the
Had
Number
One
mentioned something
about
quantum
zombies? That was probably a joke. Please let that be a joke.
ground behind her. T h e centaur raised an eyebrow.
Concentrate! Holly told herself. Or you will be absorbed.
'I see we have an —'
She could feel o t h e r presences travelling with her. Jayjay
' L e t ' s talk about that later,' said Holly sharply, inter-
was
surprisingly
calm,
considering
his
surroundings.
S o m e w h e r e in the periphery was A r t e m i s , his sense of purpose k e e n as a blade. Number One is going to get a shock, thought Holly, when he sees us pop through.
rupting the centaur, 'for n o w we have w o r k to do.' Foaly nodded thoughtfully. ' I ' m guessing, from the l o o k of things, that A r t e m i s has a plan of s o m e s o r t . Is that going to be a p r o b l e m for us?' ' O n l y if we t r y to stop it,' said Holly. A r t e m i s t o o k Jayjay into his a r m s , stroking the little
N ° l didn't s e e m very shocked w h e n the group t u m b l e d
lemur's m o h i c a n , calming him with a r h y t h m i c clicking of
from the stream, solidifying on the floor of A r t e m i s ' s study.
his t o n g u e .
' S e e any z o m b i e s ? ' he asked with a spooky wiggling of his fingers.
Holly felt that she t o o would be c a l m e d , n o t by A r t e m i s ' s clicking but by the sight of h e r own face in the m i r r o r .
' T h a n k the gods,' p r o c l a i m e d Foaly from the television
She was h e r s e l f again; h e r o n e - p i e c e fitted snugly. A g r o w n
screens, then exhaled loudly through his broad nostrils.
w o m a n . No m o r e teenage confusion. She would feel even
' T h a t was the longest ten seconds of my life. D i d you get
b e t t e r o n c e she r e t r i e v e d h e r gear. T h e r e was nothing like
the l e m u r ? '
a N e u t r i n o on the hip for a self-confidence b o o s t .
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303
' T i m e to see Mother,' said Artemis grimly, selecting a suit from the wardrobe. ' H o w m u c h fluid should I administer?' 'It's powerful stuff,' said Foaly, entering s o m e calcula-
All minds play tricks. Even mine. The perceived cold is a projection of my mood, nothing more. His
parents'
bedroom
was
rectangular
in
shape,
tions on his keyboard. ' T w o c c ' s . No m o r e . T h e r e is a syringe
stretching along the west wing from front to rear. It was
gun in Holly's medi-kit bedside table. Be very careful with
actually m o r e of an a p a r t m e n t than a r o o m , with a lounge
the brain d r a i n . T h e r e ' s an anaesthetic tab in there t o o . Give
area and office c o r n e r . T h e large four-poster b e d was angled
Jayjay a swab and he w o n ' t feel a thing.'
so that tinted light from a medieval stained-glass p o r t h o l e
'Very well,' A r t e m i s said, pocketing the kit. 'I shall go in alone. I do hope M o t h e r recognizes m e . ' ' S o do I,' agreed Holly. ' O r she may o b j e c t to l e m u r brain j u i c e being injected into her by a total stranger.'
would fall across the studded headboard in summer. A r t e m i s placed his feet carefully on the rug like a ballet dancer, avoiding the vine pattern in the weave. Step on a vine, count to nine. Bad luck was the last thing he n e e d e d .
Artemis's hand hovered over the crystal d o o r k n o b on his
Angeline Fowl was splayed on the b e d , as though thrown
parents' b e d r o o m door. In its facets he could see a dozen
t h e r e . H e r head was angled b a c k so sharply that the line
reflections of his o w n face. E a c h o n e was drawn and
from h e r n e c k to chin was almost straight, and h e r skin
worried.
was pale enough to s e e m translucent.
Last chance. My last chance to save her. I am forever trying to save people, he thought. I'm supposed to be a criminal. Where did it all go wrong? No t i m e for drifting. T h e r e was m o r e at stake h e r e than gold or notoriety. His m o t h e r was dying, and h e r salvation was p e r c h e d on A r t e m i s ' s shoulder, searching his scalp for ticks. A r t e m i s closed his fingers over the knob. N o t another m o m e n t to waste on thoughts, t i m e n o w for action.
She's not breathing, thought A r t e m i s , panic fluttering in his chest like a caged bird. / was wrong. I am too late. T h e n his m o t h e r ' s entire frame convulsed as she dragged down a painful breath. A r t e m i s ' s resolve almost left him then. His legs w e r e boneless r u b b e r and his forehead b u r n e d . This is my mother. How can I do what needs to be done? B u t he would do it. T h e r e wasn't anyone else w h o could. A r t e m i s reached his m o t h e r ' s side and gently pushed strands of hair b a c k from h e r face.
T h e r o o m s e e m e d c o l d e r than he r e m e m b e r e d , but this was doubtless his imagination.
'I am h e r e , M o t h e r . Everything will be fine. I found a cure.'
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Somehow, Angeline Fowl heard h e r son's words and h e r eyes flickered o p e n . Even h e r retinas had lost their colour,
backwards, sliding h e r head up the headboard. ' D o n ' t you want t o m a k e m e happy, A r t y ? ' 'I prefer healthy to happy for the m o m e n t , ' said A r t e m i s ,
fading to the ice blue of a w i n t e r lake. ' C u r e , ' she sighed. ' M y little A r t y found the cure.' ' T h a t ' s right,' said A r t e m i s . ' L i t t l e A r t y found the c u r e . It was the lemur. R e m e m b e r , the Madagascan l e m u r from
making no m o v e to hand over the lemur. ' D o n ' t you love m e , son?' c r o o n e d Angeline. ' D o n ' t you love your m u m m y ? ' A r t e m i s moved briskly, tearing open the medi-kit, closing
Rathdown Park?' Angeline raised a bone-thin finger, tickling the air before
his fingers round the transfusion gun. A single tear rolled down his pale c h e e k .
Jayjay's nose. ' L i t t l e lemur. Cure.' Jayjay, u n s e t t l e d by t h e b e d r i d d e n w o m a n ' s skeletal
'I love you, M o t h e r . I love you m o r e than life. If you could only k n o w what I have b e e n through to find little
appearance, ducked behind A r t e m i s ' s head. ' N i c e lemur,' said Angeline, a weak smile twitching h e r
Jayjay. J u s t be still for five seconds, then this nightmare will be over.'
lips. / am the parent now, thought A r t e m i s . She is the child.
Angeline's eyes w e r e crafty slits. 'I d o n ' t want you to
' C a n I hold h i m ? '
inject m e , A r t e m i s . You're n o t a trained nurse. W a s n ' t there
A r t e m i s t o o k a half-step b a c k . ' N o , M o t h e r . N o t yet.
a d o c t o r h e r e , or was I dreaming that?'
Jayjay is a very i m p o r t a n t creature. This little fellow could
A r t e m i s p r i m e d the gun, waiting for the charge light to flash g r e e n . 'I have administered shots before, M o t h e r . I gave
save the world.' Angeline spoke through h e r t e e t h . ' L e t m e hold h i m .
you your m e d i c i n e m o r e than o n c e the last t i m e you w e r e
. . . m:
J u s t for a m o m e n t . ' Jayjay crawled down the b a c k of A r t e m i s ' s j a c k e t , as
' A r t e m i s ! ' snapped Angeline, the flat of h e r hand slap-
though he understood the request and did n o t want to be
ping the sheet. 'I demand that you give the l e m u r to me
held.
now! This instant! And s u m m o n the doctor.'
' P l e a s e , Arty. It would c o m f o r t me to hold him.'
A r t e m i s plucked a vial from the medi-kit. 'You are hyster-
A r t e m i s nearly handed the l e m u r over. Nearly.
ical, Mother. N o t yourself. I think I should give you a seda-
'Holding him will n o t cure you, M o t h e r . I n e e d to inject
tive before I administer the antidote.' He slid the vial into the gun, reaching for his m o t h e r ' s a r m .
s o m e fluid into o n e of your veins.' Angeline s e e m e d to be regaining h e r strength. She inched
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' N o , ' Angeline virtually s c r e e c h e d , slapping him away
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307
with surprising strength. ' D o n ' t t o u c h m e with your L E P
' O p a l , ' he said. 'You followed us h o m e . '
sedatives, you stupid b o y '
'Finally!' shouted A r t e m i s ' s m o t h e r , in Opal's voice. ' T h e
A r t e m i s froze. 'LEP, M o t h e r ? W h a t d o you k n o w o f the LEP?'
great boy genius sees the truth.' Angeline's limbs stiffened and she levitated from the b e d , surrounded by a roiling
Angeline tugged h e r lip, a guilty child. ' W h a t ? D i d I say L E P ? T h r e e l e t t e r s , n o m o r e . T h e y m e a n nothing t o m e . ' A r t e m i s t o o k another step away from the b e d , gathering Jayjay protectively in his a r m s .
mist of steam. H e r pale blue eyes cut through the fog, spearing A r t e m i s with their mad glare. ' D i d you think you could win? D i d you believe that the battle was won? H o w charmingly deluded. You do n o t even
'Tell me the truth, M o t h e r . W h a t is happening h e r e ? '
possess any m a g i c . I on the o t h e r hand have m o r e m a g i c
Angeline abandoned h e r i n n o c e n t act, pounding t h e
than any o t h e r fairy since the d e m o n w a r l o c k s . And, o n c e
mattress with delicate fists, squealing in frustration. 'I despise you, A r t e m i s Fowl. You b o t h e r s o m e human. H o w I loathe you.'
I have the lemur, I will be i m m o r t a l . ' A r t e m i s rolled his eyes. ' D o n ' t forget invincible.' 'I haaate you,' squealed O p a l / A n g e l i n e . ' W h e n I have
N o t words o n e e x p e c t s t o hear from one's mother. Angeline lay flat on the b e d , steaming with rage. Literally
the lemur, I will . . . I will . . .' ' K i l l me in s o m e h o r r i b l e fashion,' suggested A r t e m i s .
steaming. H e r eyeballs rolled in their sockets and tendons
'Precisely. T h a n k you.'
stood out like steel cables on h e r arms and n e c k . All the
Angeline's body pivoted stiffly until she hovered upright,
t i m e she ranted.
h e r halo of charged hair brushing the ceiling.
' W h e n I have the lemur, I will crush you all. T h e LEP, Foaly, Julius R o o t . All of you. I will send laser dogs down
'Now,' she said, pointing a skeletal finger at the cowering Jayjay. ' G i v e me that creature.'
every tunnel in the Earth's crust until I flush out that odious
A r t e m i s wrapped the l e m u r in his j a c k e t .
dwarf. And as for that female captain, I will brainwash h e r
' C o m e and get him,' he said.
and m a k e h e r my slave.' She cast a hateful l o o k at A r t e m i s . 'Fitting revenge. D o n ' t you agree, my son.' T h e last t w o words dripped from h e r lips like poison from a viper's fangs. A r t e m i s held Jayjay c l o s e . He could feel the small creature shiver against his chest. Or perhaps the shivering was his o w n .
AAAAA/VNA
In the study, Holly was running through A r t e m i s ' s theory. 'That's it?' said N ° l w h e n Holly had finished explaining. ' Y o u ' r e n o t forgetting s o m e crucial detail? Like the part that makes sense?' ' T h e w h o l e thing is ridiculous!' i n t e r j e c t e d Foaly from
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308
the m o n i t o r s . ' C o m e on, fairies. W e ' v e done our bit. T i m e
his way to China. Holly w e n t for h e r gun, but B u t l e r was
to head b e l o w ground.'
there before her, ripping the N e u t r i n o from h e r hip.
' S o o n , ' said Holly. ' L e t ' s just give A r t e m i s five minutes to c h e c k it out. All we n e e d to do is be alert.' Foaly's sigh c r a c k l e d through the speakers. ' W e l l , at least let me raise the shuttle. T h e troops are holding at Tara, waiting for a call-back.'
We have other tricks, thought Holly. We have magic. Number One will knock jour socks off. B u t l e r dragged something into the r o o m on a trolley. A steel barrel with runes e t c h e d on the m e t a l . What's this? What's he doing?
Holly thought about this. ' T h a t ' s g o o d . You do that.
N ° l managed to get off a single b o l t . Indoor lightning
W h a t e v e r happens, we n e e d to be ready to m o v e out. And
that s c o r c h e d Butler's shirt, knocking him b a c k a pace, but
w h e n you're finished do a sweep of the estate — see w h e r e
even as he stumbled backwards the bodyguard swung the
that nurse is.'
trolley past h i m , slingshotting it into the r o o m . A thick
Foaly's focus shifted left while he put a call in to Tara.
slime slopped from the barrel's open m o u t h , splashing on
Holly pointed at N ° l . 'You just have a little of that signa-
N ° l ' s legs. I t trundled forward, k n o c k i n g Holly and N ° l
ture m a g i c dancing on your fingertips in case we n e e d it. I w o n ' t feel c o m p l e t e l y safe until Angeline is well, and w e ' r e drinking sim-coffee in a Haven bar.'
aside like skittles. N° 1 stared at his fingers as the m a g i c on each tip winked out like candles in a b r e e z e .
N ° l raised his hands, and soon they w e r e enveloped in
'I d o n ' t feel so great,' he g r o a n e d , then k e e l e d over, eyes
ripples of red power. ' N o p r o b l e m , Holly. I ' m ready for
dickering, lips m u t t e r i n g ancient spells which did n o t o n e
anything.'
iota o f g o o d .
It was a s t a t e m e n t that was missing an almost.
What is in that barrel? w o n d e r e d Holly, releasing h e r suit's
In the s a m e split s e c o n d , the m o n i t o r s b l a c k e d out and
wings from their sheath. B u t l e r grabbed Holly's ankle as
the d o o r b u r s t o p e n w i t h a f o r c e that actually drove t h e
she ascended, flipping her ignominiously into the b a r r e l .
d o o r k n o b into the wall. B u t l e r ' s huge frame filled the gap.
She felt the thick gunk close over h e r like a w e t fist, blocking
Holly's smile slipped when she noticed the pistol in the
her nose, filling h e r throat.
bodyguard's fist and the mirrored sunglasses covering his eyes.
T h e smell was repulsive.
He's armed and doesn't want to be mesmerized. Holly was quick, but B u t l e r was q u i c k e r and he had the e l e m e n t of surprise — after all, he was supposed to be on
Animal fat, she realized, with a spasmodic shudder of horror. Pure rendered Jat, with a Jew hexes stirred into it. Animal fat had b e e n used as a m a g i c suppressor for
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m i l l e n n i a . Even t h e m o s t powerful w a r l o c k was helpless
She almost o p e n e d h e r m o u t h t o s c r e a m . T h e m e r e s t
w h e n dipped in r e n d e r e d fat. You t h r o w a w a r l o c k in a
thread o f reason stopped her. T h e n something brushed
b a r r e l of fat, seal it w i t h woven w i l l o w b a r k and b u r y it
against h e r face. A c o r r u g a t e d tube. T h e r e w e r e two.
in a c o n s e c r a t e d h u m a n graveyard, and that w a r l o c k was
Breathing tubes . . .
as helpless as a k i t t e n in a sack. T h e e x p e r i e n c e would be
W i t h frantic fingers, Holly felt h e r way to the end of
m a d e even m o r e t e r r i b l e by the fact that m o s t fairies are
the tube. She fought h e r natural instinct to j a m the tube
devout vegetarians and would be perfectly aware h o w
into N ° l ' s m o u t h .
m a n y animals had to die to p r o d u c e an e n t i r e b a r r e l of fat.
In the event of an emergency, always take care of yourself first before you attend to civilians.
Who told Butler about this? Holly w o n d e r e d . Who is controlling him? T h e n N ° l was j a m m e d in beside h e r and the fat level
So Holly used h e r absolute last puff of air to clear the pipe as a diver would clear his snorkel. She imagined blobs of fat spraying the r o o m outside.
rose to cover their heads. Holly surged upwards, clearing
/ hope Butler's suit is ruined, she thought.
h e r eyes j u s t in t i m e to see a lid bearing down on the barrel
No c h o i c e n o w but to inhale. Air whistled down to her,
m o u t h , eclipsing the ceiling light. No helmet, she l a m e n t e d . / wish I had my helmet.
m i x e d with w o r m y slivers of fat. Holly b l e w again, clearing the last traces of gunk.
T h e n the lid was on and sealed. T h e fat found the n e c k -
N o w for N ° l . His wriggling g r e w w e a k e r a s his p o w e r
hole in h e r o n e - p i e c e and w o r m e d inside, probing h e r face
w a n e d . F o r s o m e o n e with such power, this dunking m u s t
and invading h e r ears. H e x e s swirled like malevolent snakes,
b e a l m o s t i n t o l e r a b l e . Holly b l o c k e d h e r o w n t u b e w i t h
keeping h e r m a g i c at bay.
a t h u m b , then c l e a r e d the s e c o n d o n e b e f o r e twisting it
Lost, thought Holly. The worst death I can imagine. Sealed in a small space. Like my mother. N° 1 convulsed beside her. T h e little w a r l o c k must feel like the soul was being sucked right o u t of h i m . Holly panicked. She k i c k e d and fought, bruising h e r e l b o w s , tearing the skin from h e r knees. W h e r e m a g i c tried to heal h e r wounds, the h e x snakes z o o m e d in, swallowing the sparks.
into N ° l ' s slack m o u t h . F o r a m o m e n t t h e r e was n o r e a c tion, and she t h o u g h t i t was t o o late, then N ° l j e r k e d , spluttered and s t a r t e d , like an old e n g i n e on a frosty morning. Alive, thought Holly. We are both alive. If Butler wanted us dead, then we already would be. She b r a c e d h e r feet on the base of the barrel and hugged N ° l tightly. Calm was n e e d e d h e r e .
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
312
313
Calm, she broadcast, though she k n e w N ° l ' s empathy
'I have no friends,' A r t e m i s shot b a c k , though he k n e w
would be m u t e d . Calm, little friend. Artemis will save us.
it was a transparent bluff. O p a l had b e e n h e r e for a few
If he is alive, she thought, but did n o t broadcast.
days at least. She had doubtless hijacked the m a n o r ' s surveillance and security.
A r t e m i s b a c k e d away from the nightmare version of his
T h e Angeline Opal scratched h e r chin. ' H m m , n o friends.
m o t h e r that hovered b e f o r e h i m . Jayjay s c r e e c h e d and
Apart from the L E P e l f w h o accompanied you to the past,
b u c k e d in his a r m s , but A r t e m i s held him tightly, automat-
and of course the d e m o n w a r l o c k w h o sent you b a c k . N o t
ically scratching the tiny brush of hair on his c r o w n .
to m e n t i o n your big burly bodyguard.'
'Hand over that creature,' demanded O p a l . 'You have no choice.' Artemis
Alliteration, thought A r t e m i s . She's toying with me. ' T h e n again,' m u s e d O p a l / A n g e l i n e , ' B u t l e r is n o t really
c i r c l e d Jayjay's n e c k with his t h u m b
and
forefinger.
your friend any m o r e . He's m i n e . ' This was a w o r r y i n g s t a t e m e n t , and perhaps t r u e .
' O h , I think I have a c h o i c e . '
A r t e m i s , usually an e x p e r t i n t e r p r e t e r of body language
O p a l was horrified. ' Y o u w o u l d n ' t kill an i n n o c e n t
and telltale tics, was flummoxed by this crazed version of
creature.'
his m o t h e r .
'I did it before.'
' B u t l e r would never willingly befriend you!'
O p a l studied his eyes. 'I d o n ' t think you would do it
O p a l shrugged. It was a fair point. ' W h o said anything
again, A r t e m i s Fowl. My fairy intuition tells me that you are n o t as c o l d - h e a r t e d as you p r e t e n d to be.' It was true. A r t e m i s k n e w he c o u l d n ' t h a r m Jayjay, even to derail Opal's plans. Still, no reason to tell O p a l that. ' M y h e a r t is c o l d , pixie. Believe it. U s e s o m e of that magical empathy to search my soul.'
about willingly?' A r t e m i s paled. Uh-oh. ' L e t me explain what happened,' said O p a l sweetly. 'I scrambled the brains of my little helpers s o m e w h a t , so they could n o t r e p o r t on m e , then had t h e m fly the shuttle b a c k
His t o n e gave Opal pause. T h e r e was steel there, and he
to Haven. T h e n I h i t c h e d a ride on your t i m e stream before
was hard to read. Perhaps she should n o t gamble so r e c k -
it closed. Oh so simple for s o m e o n e with my skill set. You
lessly with h i m .
didn't even leave a h e x at the hole.'
'Very well, human. Hand over the creature and I will spare your friends.'
A r t e m i s snapped his fingers. 'I k n e w I had forgotten something.'
*WA
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
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315
O p a l smiled thinly. 'Amusing. Anyway, it b e c a m e obvious to me that I was or would be responsible for this entire
A r t e m i s edged towards the door. ' T h i s g a m e is n o t over yet.'
affair, so I dropped out of the stream a few days early and
Footsteps outside and a strange rhythmic squeaking. A
t o o k my t i m e getting to k n o w your group. M o t h e r , father,
wheelbarrow, A r t e m i s guessed, though he did n o t have
Butler.'
m u c h e x p e r i e n c e with gardening aids.
' W h e r e is my m o t h e r ? ' shouted A r t e m i s , anger punching through his calm e x t e r i o r , like a h a m m e r through i c e . ' W h y I ' m right here, darling,' said Opal in Angeline's voice. 'I am really sick and I need you to go into the past and fetch a magic monkey for me.' She laughed mockingly. 'Humans are such fools.'
' O h , I think this g a m e is over now,' said Opal slyly. T h e heavy d o o r b o u n c e d in fits as it was butted from the outside. B u t l e r pushed the trolley into the r o o m , stumbling after it, hunched and shivering. ' H e is strong, this one,' said O p a l , almost in admiration. 'I m e s m e r i z e d him, but still he refused to kill your friends.
' S o this is n o t s o m e kind of shape-shifting spell?'
T h e stupid man's h e a r t almost burst. It was all I could do
' N o , idiot. I was perfectly aware that Angeline would be
to force him to c o n s t r u c t the barrel and fill it with fat.'
e x a m i n e d . Shape-shifting spells are only skin deep, and even
' T o s m o t h e r fairy m a g i c , ' A r t e m i s guessed.
an adept such as myself can only hold one for short periods.'
'Obviously, idiot. Now, the g a m e is absolutely over.
' T h i s means that my m o t h e r is n o t dying?' A r t e m i s k n e w
Finished. B u t l e r is my ace in the h o l e , as you humans might
the answer, but he had to be certain. O p a l ground h e r t e e t h , t o r n b e t w e e n impatience and the desire to explain the brilliance of h e r plan. ' N o t yet. T h o u g h soon the damage to h e r systems will
say. I hold all the aces. You are alone. Give me the l e m u r and I will go b a c k to my own t i m e . Nobody has to suffer.' If Opal gets the lemur, then the entire planet will suffer, thought Artemis.
be irreversible. I have possessed h e r from a distance. An
O p a l snapped her fingers. 'Butler, seize the animal.'
e x t r e m e f o r m of the mesmer. W i t h p o w e r like m i n e , I can
B u t l e r t o o k a single step towards A r t e m i s , then stopped.
manipulate h e r very organs. Imitating Spelltropy was child's
Shudders racked his broad b a c k , and his fingers w e r e claws
play. And o n c e I have little Jayjay I can open my own hole
wringing an invisible n e c k .
in t i m e . ' ' S o you are nearby? Your real self?' Opal had had enough of questions. ' Y e s , n o . W h a t does it m a t t e r ? I win, you lose. A c c e p t it, or everyone dies.'
'I said get the animal, you stupid human.' T h e bodyguard dropped to his k n e e s , pounding the floor, trying to drive the voice from his head. ' G e t the l e m u r n o w ! ' shrieked O p a l .
AAAA
AAAA
-VVWwWv
AAAA
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317
B u t l e r had enough strength for three words. ' G o . . . t o . . . hell.'
He u n b u t t o n e d Butler's shirt, exposing a barrel chest, hard with m u s c l e , scars and tension. A cursory examina-
T h e n he c l u t c h e d at his a r m and collapsed.
tion told him that there was no heartbeat. Butler's body
' O o p s , ' said O p a l . ' H e a r t attack. I b r o k e him.'
was dead; only his brain was left alive.
Stay focused, A r t e m i s o r d e r e d himself. Opal may hold all the aces, but perhaps there is a hole in one of those aces. A r t e m i s tickled Jayjay under the chin.
' H o l d on, old friend,' m u r m u r e d A r t e m i s , trying to keep his m i n d focused. He pulled the defibrillator paddles from their holsters,
'Hide, little friend. Hide.'
peeling back their disposable safety covers, leaving a thin
And with that he tossed the l e m u r towards a chandelier
coating of conductive gel on the contact surfaces. T h e paddles
suspended from the ceiling. Jayjay flailed in the air, then
seemed to grow heavier as he waited for the unit to charge,
latched on to a glass strut. He pulled h i m s e l f nimbly into
and by the time the go light flashed green, they felt like rocks
the light, hiding behind sheets of dangling crystal.
in his hands.
Opal immediately lost interest in A r t e m i s , concentrating
' C l e a r ! ' he called to no o n e in particular, then posi-
on levitating Angeline's body to the level of the chandalier.
tioned the paddles firmly on Butler's chest and hit the shock
W i t h a squeal of frustration she realized that such r e m o t e
button under his thumb, sending 3 6 0 j o u l e s o f e l e c t r i c i t y
elevation was beyond even a being of h e r power.
into his bodyguard's h e a r t . Butler's body arched, and the
' D o c t o r Schalke!' she called, and s o m e w h e r e h e r real m o u t h was calling it t o o . 'Into the b e d r o o m , Schalke!' A r t e m i s filed this information, then ducked b e l o w Opal to his m o t h e r ' s bedside. A m o b i l e defibrillator c a r t was
sharp smell of burning hair and skin assailed A r t e m i s ' s nostrils. G e l crisped and sparked, burning twin rings w h e r e the pads had made c o n t a c t . Butler's eyes flew open and his massive hands gripped A r t e m i s ' s shoulders.
parked among the r o w of medical e q u i p m e n t ranged around
Is he still Opal's slave?
the four-poster, and A r t e m i s quickly switched it on, drag-
' A r t e m i s , ' breathed Butler, but then frowned in confu-
ging the entire contraption to the limit of its lead to w h e r e B u t l e r had collapsed. T h e bodyguard lay face up, hands thrown b a c k as though
sion. ' A r t e m i s ? H o w ? ' 'Later, old friend,' said the Irish boy brusquely, mentally progressing to the n e x t p r o b l e m . ' J u s t rest for now.'
there w e r e an invisible b o u l d e r on his chest. His face was
T h i s was n o t a n o r d e r h e w o u l d have t o r e p e a t . B u t l e r
s t r e t c h e d with the effort of moving the great stone. Eyes
sank i m m e d i a t e l y i n t o e x h a u s t e d u n c o n s c i o u s n e s s , b u t
closed, sweat sheened, t e e t h c l e n c h e d .
his h e a r t b e a t s t r o n g l y inside his c h e s t . H e had n o t b e e n
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319
dead l o n g e n o u g h to have suffered b r a i n d a m a g e . Artemis's n e x t p r o b l e m was O p a l , o r m o r e specifically h o w to get h e r out of his m o t h e r ' s body. If she did n o t vacate soon, A r t e m i s had no doubt that his m o t h e r would n o t r e c o v e r from the ordeal.
' S h o o t the humans,' c o m m a n d e d O p a l . ' T h e boy f i r s t , he is the m o s t dangerous.' 'Are
you
certain? T h e man mountain looks
more
dangerous to m e . ' ' S h o o t the boy!' howled Opal, frustration sending tears
Gathering his n e r v e with several deep breaths, A r t e m i s
streaming down her cheeks. ' T h e n Butler and then yourself.'
switched his full attention to his m o t h e r ' s hovering body.
A r t e m i s swallowed. This was cutting things a bit fine;
She was twirling b e l o w the chandelier as though suspended from it, clawing at Jayjay, w h o appeared to be taunting h e r by waving his hind quarters in her direction. Can this situation get any more surreal? J u s t then D o c t o r Schalke e n t e r e d the r o o m , brandishing a pistol that s e e m e d t o o large for his delicate hands. 'I am h e r e , you creature. T h o u g h I must say I d o n ' t like your t o n e . I may be spellbound, but I am n o t an animal.'
his a c c o m p l i c e had b e t t e r g e t a m o v e on. 'Very well,' said Schalke, fiddling with the safety on Butler's Sig Sauer. 'Anything to escape these theatrics.' / have seconds before he figures out that catch, thought A r t e m i s . Seconds to distract Opal. Nothing to do but reveal the hole in her ace. ' C o m e now, Opal,' Artemis said, with a calmness he did not feel. 'You wouldn't shoot a ten-year-old boy, would you?'
' D o shut up, Schalke. I can see I will have to fry a few
'I absolutely would,' said O p a l w i t h o u t a heartbeat's hesi-
m o r e o f your brain cells. Now, please. F e t c h that l e m u r ! '
tation. 'I am considering cloning you so that I can kill you
Schalke pointed four fingers of his free hand towards
over and over again. Heaven.'
the chandelier. ' T h e l e m u r is at a considerable height, yes?
T h e n all of what A r t e m i s had said registered.
H o w do you suggest I fetch him? Perhaps I could shoot
'Ten? D i d you say you w e r e t e n years old?'
him dead?'
A r t e m i s forgot all about the danger surrounding h i m ,
O p a l swooshed low, a r m s and legs twirling like a harpy.
lost in the sweet m o m e n t of triumph. It was intoxicating.
' N o ! ' she shrieked, striking him around the head and shoul-
' Y e s , that is what I said. I am ten. My real m o t h e r would
ders. 'I would shoot a hundred of you, a thousand, before I let you h a r m o n e hair of that creature's fur. He is the future. My future! T h e world's future!' 'Indeed,' said the doctor. ' W e r e I n o t m e s m e r i z e d , I suspect I should be yawning.'
have n o t i c e d i m m e d i a t e l y ' O p a l c h e w e d t h e k n u c k l e s o f A n g e l i n e ' s left hand. Thinking. 'You are the A r t e m i s Fowl from my t i m e ? T h e y brought you b a c k ! '
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320
And, of all the thousands of humans healed, m e s m e r -
' Obviously.' Opal reared b a c k through the air, as though taken by the wind. ' T h e r e is another o n e . H e r e s o m e w h e r e , another A r t e m i s Fowl.' 'Finally!' said A r t e m i s smirking. ' T h e great pixie genius sees the truth.'
ized or wiped every year, his m o t h e r was the o n e to fall ill. T h e m o t h e r o f the only human o n E a r t h w h o could d o something about it. Very coincidental. Too coincidental by far. So. Either s o m e o n e had deliberately infected his m o t h e r , or the symptoms w e r e being magically duplicated. Either
'Find him,' shrieked Opal. 'Find him immediately. At once.'
way, the result was the same: A r t e m i s would travel b a c k
Schalke straightened his glasses. ' A t o n c e and i m m e d i -
in t i m e to find the antidote. T h e lemur, Jayjay.
ately. This must be important.'
And w h o would want Jayjay found as m u c h as A r t e m i s
O p a l w a t c h e d him go with real hatred in h e r eyes. ' W h e n
did?The answer to that question lay in the past. O p a l K o b o i ,
this is over, I am going to destroy this entire estate j u s t for
of c o u r s e . T h e little primate was the last ingredient in h e r
spite. And then, w h e n I r e t u r n to the past, I shall —'
magical c o c k t a i l . W i t h his brain fluid in h e r bloodstream
' D o n ' t tell m e , ' i n t e r r u p t e d ten-year-old A r t e m i s Fowl. 'You will destroy it again.'
she would be literally the m o s t powerful person on the planet. And if O p a l couldn't nab Jayjay in h e r own t i m e , she would g e t him in the future. W h a t e v e r it t o o k . She must have followed t h e m b a c k through the t i m e stream,
ALftlOST E i G H T Y E A R S A G O
jumped
out
early
and
organized
this
whole
affair.
Presumably, o n c e she had Jayjay's brain fluid, navigating h e r W h e n fourteen-year-old A r t e m i s had had a m o m e n t to
way b a c k would n o t be a p r o b l e m .
consider things, s o m e t i m e in b e t w e e n scaling pylons and
It was confusing even for A r t e m i s . Opal wouldn't even
outwitting murderous Extinctionists, he realized that there
be in his present if he hadn't g o n e b a c k in t i m e . And he
were a lot of unanswered questions about his mother's illness.
only w e n t b a c k in t i m e because of a situation she created.
He had supposedly given her Spelltropy, but who had passed
It was A r t e m i s ' s own attempts to cure his m o t h e r which
it to him? Holly's magic had permeated his body in the past,
had led Opal to infect her.
but she herself was hale and hearty. W h y wasn't she sick?
B u t o n e thing he n o w felt sure of was that O p a l was
O r , for that matter, how did Butler escape infection? He had
behind this. She was behind t h e m and in front of t h e m .
b e e n healed so many times that he must be half fairy by now.
Chasing their group into her own clutches. A t i m e paradox.
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322
There are two Opals in this equation, thought A r t e m i s . / think there should continue to be two Artemis Fowls. And so a plan had taken shape in his mind.
More B minor? Do you really think so? Had he always b e e n this obnoxious? H o w t i r e s o m e . Little w o n d e r p e o p l e in general did n o t like him.
O n c e the young Artemis had b e e n apprised of all the details and convinced of their accuracy, he at once agreed to accom-
FOWL
HiAnoR,
THE PRESEHT
pany them to the future, in spite of Butler's vocal objection. 'It's my m o t h e r , Butler,' he said simply. 'I must save her.
B a c k in his own t i m e , in his own house, A r t e m i s the elder
N o w I charge you to stay by h e r side until I r e t u r n . Anyway,
paused only to grab s o m e clothes from the w a r d r o b e before
how could they hope to succeed without m e ? '
quickly exiting his study, warning Foaly and N ° l to keep
' H o w indeed,' Holly S h o r t had w o n d e r e d , then taken
silent with a simple shhh. He moved quickly along the
m o r e pleasure than was necessary in watching that arro-
c o r r i d o r towards the dumb-waiter shaft adjacent to the
gance drain from the boy's features w h e n the t i m e stream
second-floor tea r o o m . This was n o t the m o s t direct route
o p e n e d i n front o f t h e m , like the m a w o f s o m e great
to the security c e n t r e , in fact the route was circuitous and
c o m p u t e r - g e n e r a t e d serpent.
awkward, but it was the only way to pass through the house
'Chin up, Mud Boy,' she'd said as Artemis the younger watched his arm dissolve. 'And watch out for quantum zombies.'
undetected. B u t l e r believed he had every square inch of the manor, apart from the Fowl's private c h a m b e r s , under surveillance, but A r t e m i s had long since w o r k e d h o w to travel through
T h e t i m e stream had b e e n difficult for A r t e m i s the elder.
the house without being picked up on c a m e r a . This route
Any o t h e r human would have b e e n t o r n apart by such
involved hiding in c o r n e r s , walking on furniture, travelling
repeated e x p o s u r e to its particular radiation, but A r t e m i s
in dumb waiters and tilting a full-length m i r r o r to j u s t the
held himself t o g e t h e r by sheer willpower. He focused on
right angle.
the high end of his i n t e l l e c t , solving unprovable t h e o r e m s
It was possible, of c o u r s e , that a hostile could figure out
with large cardinals and composing an ending for Schubert's
the same pathways, co-ordinates and trajectories, and also
unfinished Symphony N ° 8 .
move about the house u n d e t e c t e d . Possible, but highly
As he w o r k e d , A r t e m i s sensed the odd derisive c o m m e n t from his younger self.
improbable, n o t without an intimate knowledge of nooks and crannies that did n o t exist on any plans.
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324
A r t e m i s followed a zigzag pattern down the hallway, a
c o n c e a l e d behind the suit of armour, he nudged the base
s e c o n d behind a security camera's sweep, then ducked
of an adjacent m i r r o r until it reflected a spotlight's b e a m
quickly inside the dumb-waiter shaft. Luckily, the b o x was
directly into the lens of the lobby c a m e r a .
on this floor, or he would have b e e n forced to shin down
N o w his path to the security c e n t r e was clear. A r t e m i s
the cable and shinning was n o t o n e of his strong suits. A r t e m i s
strode purposefully towards the b o o t h . T h i s was w h e r e O p a l
r e a c h e d outside and pressed the ground-floor b u t t o n , whip-
would b e , he was certain of it. F r o m there she could m o n i t o r
ping his hand b a c k in b e f o r e the descending b o x caught his
the e n t i r e house and it was directly b e l o w A n g e l i n e ' s
w r i s t . W h i l e it was t r u e that security would register the
b e d r o o m . If Opal was indeed controlling his m o t h e r , c l o s e r
dumb waiter descending, it would n o t set off any red lights.
was better.
O n c e at kitchen level, A r t e m i s rolled on to the floor, opening the fridge d o o r to shield his m o v e m e n t into the pantry. D e e p shadows concealed him until the c a m e r a swung away from the doorway allowing him climb on t o p of the table and j u m p outside.
It was clear from several m e t r e s away that he was right. A r t e m i s could hear Opal ranting from a distance. ' T h e r e is another o n e . H e r e s o m e w h e r e , another A r t e m i s Fowl.' Either the penny had dropped, or young A r t e m i s had
All the t i m e thinking. Plotting.
b e e n forced to reveal their plan. 'Find him,' shrieked O p a l .
Assume the worst. Little Artemis is helpless and Holly and
'Find him immediately. At o n c e . '
Number One are already incapacitated. Quite possible if someone
A r t e m i s stepped quietly into the security c o n t r o l b o o t h
like Butler were mesmerized and doing the incapacitating. Opal
a b o x r o o m off the main lobby that had served in its t i m e
is somewhere near the command centre, manipulating my mother.
as a c l o a k r o o m , weapons lock-up and holding cell for pris-
It was Opal who could see the magic inside me. Not Mother. She
o n e r s . Now, it housed a c o m p u t e r desk, similar to those
peeled away the spell I had cast over my parents.
found in editing suites, and stacks of m o n i t o r s displaying
And: Of course B minor. If one starts in B minor, one finishes in B minor. Anyjool knows that.
live feeds of the m a n o r and grounds. Huddled before the m o n i t o r bank was O p a l , dressed in
A suit of medieval a r m o u r stood in the main lobby. T h e
Holly's L E P gear. She had wasted no t i m e in stealing the
same a r m o u r that B u t l e r had put on to do battle with a
fairy suit. It was m e r e minutes since A r t e m i s had l o c k e d
troll during the Fowl M a n o r seige five years earlier. A r t e m i s
it in the safe.
approached it slowly, his b a c k flat against an abstract grey-
T h e little pixie was multi-tasking furiously, scanning the
black tapestry that camouflaged him almost perfectly. O n c e
m o n i t o r s while maintaining r e m o t e c o n t r o l over A r t e m i s ' s
327
326
m o t h e r . H e r dark hair was sweat-slicked and h e r childlike
Intermittently, Opal disappeared altogether, shield buzzing in and out. Magical bolts shot from her fingers, frying the
limbs shook with the effort. A r t e m i s sneaked into the r o o m , quickly punching the
monitors before Artemis could get a look at what was going on upstairs.
code into the weapons locker. ' W h e n this is over, I am going to destroy this entire estate j u s t for spite. And then, w h e n I r e t u r n to the past, I shall - '
'Now I can do the bolts,' she slurred. 'I've b e e n trying to focus enough m a g i c all week.' T h e m a g i c shifted and swirled, finally etching a picture
O p a l froze. S o m e t h i n g had m a d e a clicking noise. She
in the air. It was a rough picture of Foaly, and he was laughing.
t u r n e d to find A r t e m i s Fowl pointing a weapon of s o m e
'I hate you, centaur!' s c r e a m e d O p a l , lunging towards
kind at her. She immediately abandoned all o t h e r spells,
and through the insubstantial image. T h e n h e r eyes rolled
throwing h e r efforts into a desperate mesmer.
back in h e r head, and she collapsed snoring on the floor.
' D r o p that gun,' she intoned. 'You are my slave.'
A r t e m i s straightened his t i e .
A r t e m i s felt instantly woozy, but he had already pressed
Freud, he felt certain, would have afield day with that.
the trigger and a dart loaded with a Butler special c o n c o c tion of m u s c l e relaxants and sedatives buried its long needle
A r t e m i s hurried upstairs to his parents' r o o m . T h e rug was
in Opal's n e c k , w h e r e there was no p r o t e c t i o n from the
coated in a p o o l of lumpy fat. Two sets of fairy footprints
suit. This was a shot in a million, since A r t e m i s was n o t
led from the turgid pearlescent puddle into the en suite
proficient with firearms. As B u t l e r put it: Artemis, a genius
w e t r o o m . A r t e m i s heard the p o w e r shower drilling against
you may be, but leave the shooting to me, because you couldn't
the tiles.
hit the backside of a stationary elephant.
Opal used animal fat to suppress Number One's magic. How
Opal c o n c e n t r a t e d furiously on the puncture wound,
despicable. How horrible.
dousing it with magical sparks, but it was t o o late. T h e
Young A r t e m i s was studying the spreading mass of g o o .
drug was already entering h e r brain, loosening h e r c o n t r o l
' L o o k , ' he said, noticing his o l d e r self. ' O p a l used animal
on the m a g i c inside her.
fat to suppress N u m b e r O n e ' s m a g i c . H o w ingenious.'
She began to sway and flicker, alternating b e t w e e n h e r real pixie self and Miss B o o k .
retching and complaining. B u t l e r was hosing down Holly
Miss Book, thought A r t e m i s . My suspicions were correct. The
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and N ° l and they w e r e n o t happy or healthy. But alive. Both alive.
only stranger in the equation.
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U n d e r t h e noise o f the shower w e r e t h e sounds o f
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Angeline lay on h e r b e d , wrapped in a g o o s e d o w n duvet.
B u t l e r e m e r g e d from the w e t r o o m dripping w e t , shirt-
She was pale and dazed, but was it A r t e m i s ' s imagination
less, paddle marks s c o r c h e d into his skin. He was paler
or had just a tinge of c o l o u r c r e p t b a c k into h e r cheeks?
than usual, and had to lean against the d o o r f r a m e for
She coughed gently and immediately both A r t e m i s e s w e r e
support.
at h e r side.
' W e l c o m e back,' he said to A r t e m i s the elder. ' T h i s little
A r t e m i s the elder raised an eyebrow at his younger self.
o n e is quite a chip off the old b l o c k . Gave me o n e hell of
' Y o u can see h o w this m i g h t be awkward,' he said
a jump-start.'
pointedly. 'I can indeed,' c o n c e d e d the ten-year-old. ' W h y d o n ' t 1 have a poke around in your . . . in my study. See what I c o m e up with.' This is a problem, A r t e m i s realized. My own inquisitiveness. Perhaps I should not have promised not to mind-wipe my younger self. Something will have to be done. Angeline o p e n e d h e r eyes. T h e y w e r e blue and c a l m , peering out from tired dark sockets. 'Artemis,' she said, her voice the rasp of fingers on tree
' H e is the old b l o c k , ' said A r t e m i s wryly. B u t l e r j e r k e d a t h u m b over his shoulder. ' T h o s e t w o didn't enjoy their dip in t h e barrel.' ' A n i m a l fat is poison to fairies,' explained A r t e m i s . ' B l o c k s the magical flow. Turns their own p o w e r rancid.' A shadow settled on Butler's brow. ' O p a l made me do it. She . . . Miss B o o k approached me at the main gates as I left for the airport. I was trapped in my own skull.' A r t e m i s laid a gentle hand on his bodyguard's f o r e a r m . 'I know. No apologies are n e c e s s a r y '
bark. 'I dreamed I was flying. And there was a monkey . . .'
B u t l e r r e m e m b e r e d that he did n o t have his weapon,
A r t e m i s shook with relief. She was safe; he had saved
and he r e m e m b e r e d w h o did have it. ' W h a t did you do
her.
with Schalke? K n o c k o u t dart?'
'It was a lemur, M o t h e r . M u m . '
' N o . O u r paths did n o t cross.'
Angeline smiled wanly, reaching up to stroke his c h e e k .
B u t l e r staggered to the b e d r o o m door, A r t e m i s h o t on
' M u m . I have waited so long to hear you say that. So long.'
his heels. ' O p a l is controlling h i m , though he's making h e r
And with that smile on h e r face Angeline lay b a c k and drifted off into deep natural sleep.
work for it. We n e e d to secure t h e m b o t h right now.' It t o o k t h e m several minutes to r e a c h the security b o o t h ,
Just as well, A r t e m i s realized. Or she may have noticed the
Butler pulling h i m s e l f along the walls, and by that t i m e
Jairies in the bathroom, or the contents of a fat barrel on the rug.
()pal was already g o n e . A r t e m i s ran to the window j u s t in
Or a second Artemis lurking shiftily by the bookcase.
time to see the b l o c k y rear end of a vintage M e r c e d e s take
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the b e n d in the driveway. A small figure b o u n c e d on the
before A r t e m i s said it. He was in such bad shape that he
b a c k seat. Two b o u n c e s , the first t i m e it was O p a l , the
would slow A r t e m i s down. N o t only that but the m a n o r
second Miss I m o g e n B o o k .
would be wide open for any of Opal's thralls to stroll in
Already her power returns, realized A r t e m i s .
and e x a c t h e r revenge.
B u t l e r l o o m e d above h i m , panting.
'Very well. D o n ' t take her over three thousand m e t r e s
'This isn't over yet,' he said.
and watch the flaps — they're a bit s t i c k y '
A r t e m i s did n o t respond to the c o m m e n t ; B u t l e r was simply stating the patently obvious.
A r t e m i s nodded as if he didn't know. Giving instructions c o m f o r t e d Butler.
T h e n the engine noise increased in volume and pitch.
' T h r e e thousand. Flaps. G o t it.'
' G e a r change,' said Butler. 'She's c o m i n g back.'
' W o u l d you like a gun? I have a neat B e r e t t a . '
A r t e m i s felt a chill pass over his h e a r t , though he had
A r t e m i s shook his head. ' N o guns. My aim is so bad that
b e e n e x p e c t i n g it.
even with Holly's eye to help me I would probably only
Of course she's coming back, he thought. She will never have another chance like this one. Butler can barely walk. Holly and Number One will be diminishedfor hours and I am a mere human. If she retreats now, Jayjay will be free of her forever. Soon Foaly's squad will arrive from Tara and whisk the little lemur underground. For perhaps fve minutes, Opal has the upper hand. A r t e m i s planned quickly. 'I n e e d to take Jayjay away from h e r e . So long as he is in the manor, everyone is in danger. Opal will kill us all to cover h e r tracks.' B u t l e r nodded, sweat running in rivulets through the lines on his face. 'Yes. We can m a k e it to the Cessna.' 7 can m a k e it to the Cessna, old friend,' c o r r e c t e d A r t e m i s . 'I am charging you with the p r o t e c t i o n of my m o t h e r and friends, n o t to m e n t i o n keeping my younger self off the I n t e r n e t . He is as dangerous as Opal.' It was a sensible tactic and B u t l e r k n e w it was c o m i n g
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succeed in shooting off a t o e or two. N o , all I n e e d is the bait.' He paused. 'And my sunglasses.'
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M o s t of the metal in the skeleton had b e e n stripped out and replaced with a lightweight polymer. W h e r e the fuel tank had b e e n n o w sat a small battery. T h e r e w e r e still a few adjustments to m a k e , but A r t e m i s believed his ship was skyworthy. He hoped so. T h e r e was
IftURDER m o s T FOWL
C H A P T E R 15:
a lot riding on the soundness of the little craft. He sprinted from the kitchen d o o r across the courtyard and towards the high meadow. W i t h any l u c k O p a l would n o t realize he was gone until she saw the plane taking off. Of c o u r s e then he wanted h e r to see him. Hopefully, he could draw her
THE
Fowl
family
currently
had
three
away long enough for L E P r e i n f o r c e m e n t s to arrive.
aircraft. A Learjet and a Sikorsky helicopter,
A r t e m i s felt the tiredness in his legs before he had gone
were hangared at the nearby airport, and a
a hundred m e t r e s . He had never b e e n the athletic type and
small Cessna, which lived in a small garage
the r e c e n t t i m e - s t r e a m jaunts had done nothing for his
workshop beside the high meadow on the n o r t h e r n b o r d e r
physique, even though he had c o n c e n t r a t e d hard on his
of the estate. T h e Cessna was several years old and would
muscles during the trips. W i l l i n g h i m s e l f to t o n e up. A little
have b e e n recycled some time ago had Artemis n o t taken it
inind-over-matter e x p e r i m e n t that sadly had n o t yielded
on as a project. His aim was to make it carbon-neutral and
any results.
-
-
cost-effective, a goal which his father heartily approved of.
T h e old farm gate to the m e a d o w was closed, so A r t e m i s
'I have forty scientists working on the same p r o b l e m ,
scaled it rather than struggle with the heavy b o l t . He could
but my m o n e y is on you,' he had confided to his son. And so A r t e m i s coated the entire body of the craft with
feel the heat from the simian's body high inside his j a c k e t and its little hands w e r e tight on his n e c k .
lightweight super-efficient solar panels, like N A S A ' s p r o t o -
Jayjay must be safe, he thought. He must be saved.
type flying wing, the Helios. Unlike the Helios, A r t e m i s ' s
T h e garage d o o r s w e r e sturdier than they l o o k e d and
Cessna could still fly at its n o r m a l speeds and take passen-
p r o t e c t e d with a keypad entry system. A r t e m i s tapped in
gers. This was because A r t e m i s had r e m o v e d the single
the code and t h r e w the doors w i d e , flooding the i n t e r i o r
engine and installed smaller ones to turn the main propeller,
with the deep orange rays of the early-evening sun. Inside,
the four e x t r a props on the wings and the landing gear.
nestled in a horseshoe of benches and tool trolleys, was the
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modified Cessna, h o o k e d up to a supplementary p o w e r
ably cleared the n o r t h wall. Even at this l o w altitude he
cable. A r t e m i s snapped the cable from its s o c k e t on the
could see the Irish Sea to the west, black with scimitars of
fuselage and c l a m b e r e d i n t o the c o c k p i t . He strapped
sunlight slicing across the wave tips.
h i m s e l f into the pilot's seat, r e m e m b e r i n g briefly w h e n he had first flown this plane solo. Nine years old. I needed a booster seat. T h e engines started immediately and virtually silently. T h e only noise came from the whirring of the propellers and the
He was t e m p t e d , for the m e r e s t fraction of a m o m e n t , just to flee, but he didn't. Have I changed utterly? A r t e m i s asked himself. He realized that he was running out of palatable c r i m e s . N o t so long ago, nearly all c r i m e had b e e n acceptable to h i m .
clicks of switches as Artemis ran through his preflight c h e c k .
N o , h e decided. T h e r e w e r e still people w h o deserved
T h e news was generally good. Eighty per cent power.
to be stolen from, or e x p o s e d , or dropped in deep jungle
T h a t gave the small plane a range of several hundred miles.
with only flip-flops and a spoon. He would j u s t have to put
Easily enough to lead Opal on a m e r r y dance along the Irish
m o r e effort into f i n d i n g t h e m .
coast. But the flaps w e r e sticky and the seals were old.
A r t e m i s activated the wing cameras. T h e r e was o n e such
Don't take her over three thousand metres.
person on the avenue below. A m e g a l o m a n i a c , c o l d - h e a r t e d
' W e ' r e going to be fine,' he said to the passenger inside
pixie. O p a l K o b o i . A r t e m i s could see h e r striding towards
his j a c k e t . 'Absolutely fine.' Was this the truth? He could n o t be certain. T h e high m e a d o w was wide and long and sloped gently
the manor, j a m m i n g Holly's h e l m e t down over h e r ears. / was afraid of that. She thought to take the helmet. A most valuable tool.
upwards to the estate wall. A r t e m i s nudged the Cessna
Still, he had no alternative but to attract h e r attention.
from h e r hangar, swinging the nose in a tight turn to give
T h e lives of his family and friends w e r e at stake. A r t e m i s
h i m s e l f m a x i m u m runway. U n d e r ideal c i r c u m s t a n c e s , the
t o o k the Cessna down thirty m e t r e s , following Opal's path
five-hundred-metre stretch of grass was m o r e than ample
to the manor. She may n o t hear the engine, but the sensors
for a take-off. B u t there was a tail wind and the grass was
in Holly's h e l m e t would throw up a dozen red lights.
a few c e n t i m e t r e s l o n g e r than it should b e . Despite these considerations, we should be OK. I have flown in worse conditions than these. T h e take-off was t e x t b o o k . A r t e m i s pulled b a c k on the n o s e w h e e l at the t h r e e - h u n d r e d - m e t r e m a r k and c o m f o r t -
On cue, Opal stopped in h e r tracks, throwing h e r gaze skywards, capturing the small plane in h e r sights. Come on, Opal, thought A r t e m i s . Take the bait. Run a thermal.
*
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336
O p a l strode purposefully towards t h e m a n o r until she
scan and the h e l m e t infra-red d e t e c t o r analysed the electro-
snagged the t o e o f o n e L E P b o o t under the heel o f another.
magnetic radiation coming from inside the aircraft. T h e r e
Stupid tall elf, she thought furiously, righting herself.
was some waffle from the solar panels but the scan isolated
When I am queen — no — when I am empress, all tall fairies will
an orange blob in the pilot's seat. O n e passenger only. T h e
have their legs modified. Or, better still, I will have a human pitu-
helmet's b i o m e t r i c reader conveniently identified the pilot
itary gland grafted to my brain so that I shall be the tall one. A
as Artemis Fowl, and dropped a 3D icon over his fuzzy figure.
giant among fairies, physically and mentally. She had other plans t o o : an Opalesque c o s m e t i c face m o u l d that could give any of h e r adoring fans the K o b o i l o o k in seconds. A h o m e o p a t h i c hoverchair c o v e r e d in massage bars and m o o d sensors that would read h e r h u m o u r and spray whatever scents w e r e n e e d e d to c h e e r h e r up. B u t those plans could wait until she was empress. F o r
' O n e passenger,' m u r m u r e d O p a l . ' A r e you trying to decoy me away from the house, A r t e m i s Fowl? Is that why you fly so l o w ? ' But A r t e m i s Fowl k n e w technology, he would anticipate thermal-imaging. ' W h a t do you have up your sleeve?' wondered the pixie. ' O r perhaps up your shirt.'
n o w the l e m u r was h e r priority. W i t h o u t its brain fluid, it
She magnified Artemis's h e a r t and discovered a second
could take years to accomplish h e r plans. Plus m a g i c was
heat source superimposed over the first, distinguishable only
so m u c h easier than science.
by a slightly c o o l e r shade of red.
O p a l slotted Holly's h e l m e t on to h e r head. Pads inside
Even at that desperate m o m e n t , Opal could n o t help
the h e l m e t automatically inflated to cradle h e r skull. T h e r e
but admire this young human, w h o had attempted to mask
was s o m e coded security, w h i c h she contemptuously hacked
the lemur's heat signature with his own.
with a series of blinks and hand m o v e m e n t s . T h e s e L E P
'Clever. B u t n o t ingenious.'
h e l m e t s w e r e n o t half as advanced as the m o d e l s in h e r
And he would need to be ingenious to defeat Opal
R & D department. O n c e the h e m e t ' s functions w e r e open to her, the visor's display crystals fizzled and t u r n e d s c a r l e t . R e d alert! Something was closing in. A 3D radar sweep revealed a small craft overhead, and r e c o g n i t o n software quickly pegged it as a human-built Cessna. She quickly selected the c o m m a n d sequence for a thermal
Koboi. Bringing b a c k the second A r t e m i s had b e e n a neat trick, but she should have caught it. / was defeated by my own arrogance, she realized. That will not happen again. T h e h e l m e t automatically tuned into the Cessna's radio frequency and so Opal sent A r t e m i s a little message. 'I am c o m i n g for the lemur, boy,' she said, a pulse of
338
339
m a g i c setting the suit's wings a flutter. 'And this t i m e there will be no you to save you.'
A r t e m i s t u r n e d south, following the jagged coast. T h e c l a m o u r and bustle of Dublin's high-rise a p a r t m e n t b l o c k s , belching chimneys and swarm of buzzing h e l i c o p t e r s gave
A r t e m i s could n o t feel or see the various waves that p r o b e d
way to long stretches of grey r o c k shadowed by the n o r t h -
the Cessna, but he guessed that O p a l would use the h e l m e t ' s
south railtrack. T h e sea pushed against the shore, folding
t h e r m a l imager to see h o w many h o t bodies w e r e on the
its million fingers over sand, scrub and shale.
plane. Perhaps she would t r y X - r a y t o o . It would s e e m as
Fishing boats chugged from buoy to buoy, trailing white
though he was trying to hide Jayjay's heat signature with
sea-serpent wakes, sailors snagging l o b s t e r pots with long-
his o w n , but that was a transparent ploy and should n o t
handled gaffes. Fat clouds hung ponderously at four thou-
fool O p a l for m o r e than a heartbeat. W h e n the pixie was
sand m e t r e s , rain brewing in their bellies.
satisified that h e r prize was escaping, then h o w could she
A peaceful evening, so long as no one looks up.
n o t follow?
T h o u g h at this altitude, Opal's blurred flying f o r m could
A r t e m i s banked starboard, to keep O p a l in the c a m e r a eye, and was satisfied to see a set of wings sliding from the slots in Holly's suit. The chase was on.
be mistaken for an eagle. Artemis's plan w e n t smoothly for longer than he'd hoped. H e m a d e sixty m i l e s w i t h o u t i n t e r f e r e n c e from O p a l . A r t e m i s allowed h i m s e l f a g l i m m e r of h o p e .
T i m e for the bait to p r e t e n d it was trying to escape.
Soon, he thought. The LEP reinforcements will come soon.
A r t e m i s peeled away from the estate, heading for the
T h e n his radio c r a c k l e d into life.
deep purple sea, opening the t h r o t t l e wide, satisfied by the
' A r t e m i s ? Are you there, A r t e m i s ? '
plane's s m o o t h a c c e l e r a t i o n . T h e batteries w e r e channelling
Butler. He sounded e x t r e m e l y calm, which he always .
a steady supply of p o w e r to the engines without releasing one gram of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. He c h e c k e d the tail c a m e r a view and was n o t totally surprised to find the flying pixie in his m o n i t o r . Her control over the magic is addled by sedative, he guessed. Opal may have had barely enough power to jump-start the suit. But soon the dart's after-effects will peter out and then there may be lightning bolts flaring across my wing.
• lid before he explained j u s t h o w serious a situation was. 'Butler, old friend, I ' m h e r e . Tell me the g o o d news.' T h e bodyguard sighed into his m i c r o p h o n e , a breaking wave of static. ' T h e y ' r e n o t c o m i n g after the Cessna. You are n o t the priority' ' N u m b e r O n e is,' said A r t e m i s . ' T h e y n e e d t o g e t him below ground. I understand.'
"Wi
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340
A r t e m i s did n o t engage in c o n v e r s a t i o n . All his skill
'Yes. H i m and —' 'Say no m o r e , old friend,' said A r t e m i s sharply. ' O p a l is
and q u i c k thinking w o u l d b e n e e d e d t o p i l o t t h e C e s s n a . O p a l struck again on the p o r t wing, smashing h e r fore-
listening.' ' T h e L E P are h e r e , A r t e m i s . I want you to turn round
arms into the solar panels, breaking t h e m as a child would break sheets of ice in a p o o l , windmilling h e r a r m s glee-
and fly b a c k . ' ' N o , ' said A r t e m i s firmly. 'I will n o t put M o t h e r at risk
fully, wings buzzing to keep p a c e . T h e plane b u c k e d and yawed and A r t e m i s fought the stick to pull the craft level.
again.' A r t e m i s heard a strange creaking sound and surmised
She's insane, thought A r t e m i s . Utterly insane. And.
that B u t l e r was strangling the m i c r o p h o n e stalk. ' O K . Another location then. S o m e w h e r e we can dig ourselves in.'
Those panels are unique. And she calls herself a scientist. O p a l s c a m p e r e d along the w i n g , punching an a r m o u r e d
'Very well, I am on a southerly heading anyway, so why
fist i n t o the fuselage itself. M o r e panels w e r e o b l i t e r a t e d and
n o t —' A r t e m i s never c o m p l e t e d his veiled suggestion as his channel was b l o c k e d by a deafening burst of white noise. T h e squawk left a droning aftershock in his ears, and for
tiny f i s t - s i z e d dents
buckled
the
polymer
over
A r t e m i s ' s shoulder. T i n y c r a c k s ran along t h e d e n t s , slit by the w i n d . Opal's voice was loud in the speaker. 'Land, F o w l . Land and I may n o t r e t u r n to the m a n o r when I have finished
a m o m e n t he allowed the Cessna to drift. No s o o n e r had he regained c o n t r o l than a thudding b l o w
with you. Land! Land!' Each o r d e r to land was emphasized by another b l o w on
to the fuselage caused him to lose it again. Several red lights flashed on the display-plane solar-panel i c o n . At least ten panels had b e e n shattered by the impact. A r t e m i s spared half a s e c o n d to c h e c k the rear c a m e r a . O p a l was no l o n g e r trailing behind. No surprise t h e r e . T h e pixie's voice burst through the radio speakers, sharp
the c o c k p i t . T h e windscreen e x p l o d e d inwards, showering A r t e m i s with jagged chunks o f plexiglass. 'Land! Land!' You have the product, A r t e m i s r e m i n d e d himself. So you have the power. Opal cannot afford to kill Jayjay. T h e wind s c r e a m e d in A r t e m i s ' s face, and the readings
with petulance and evil intent. 'I am strong now, M u d Boy,' she said. 'Your poison is
from his flight instruments made no sense unless O p a l was
g o n e , flushed from my system. My p o w e r grows and I am
scrambling t h e m with the L E P suit's field. B u t A r t e m i s still
hungry for m o r e . '
had a c h a n c e . T h e r e was fight left in this F o w l .
/VW.
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He pointed the nose downwards, banking sharply left.
M o r e shouting. Muffled behind the visor. A r t e m i s cast a
O p a l k e p t pace easily, tearing strips from the fuselage. She
sardonic gaze at the radio, w h i c h sat dead and dark in its
was a destructive shadow in the dimming dusk light.
cradle.
A r t e m i s could smell the sea. He was too low. Too soon.
Opal caught the l o o k and raised h e r visor, shouting over the wind, t o o impatient for the h e l m e t PA.
M o r e red lights o n the i n s t r u m e n t panel. T h e p o w e r supply had b e e n cut. T h e batteries w e r e b r e a c h e d . T h e
' G i v e me the l e m u r and I will save you,' she said, h e r voice mesmerizing. 'You have my —'
a l t i m e t e r w h i r r e d and b e e p e d . Opal was at the side window. A r t e m i s could see h e r tiny
A r t e m i s avoided h e r gaze and pulled the e m e r g e n c y flare gun from under the seat, sticking it in h e r face.
t e e t h grinning at h i m . She was saying something. Shouting.
'You leave me no c h o i c e but to shoot you,' he said, voice
B u t the radio was n o t operational any m o r e . J u s t as well
cold and certain. This was n o t a threat, it was a s t a t e m e n t
probably.
o f fact.
She is having the time of her life, he r e a l i z e d . Fun, fun, fun.
O p a l k n e w the truth w h e n she heard it and for o n e second h e r resolve wavered. She pulled b a c k , but n o t quickly
A r t e m i s struggled with the c o n t r o l s . T h e sticky flaps w e r e the least of his w o r r i e s now. If O p a l decided to snip
enough to prevent A r t e m i s from firing the flare into h e r b e l m e t , then reaching up to flick down the visor.
a few cables, then he would lose whatever say he had over
Opal spun away from the Cessna, trailing b l a c k s m o k e ,
the plane. T h o u g h it was t o o early, A r t e m i s lowered the
red sparks swarming round h e r head like angry wasps. H e r
t r i c y c l e landing gear. If O p a l sabotaged the m e c h a n i s m now,
wing smashed into the Cessna's, and n e i t h e r survived intact.
the wheels should stay down.
Solar-cell splinters flashed like Stardust and tail feathers
T h e y p l u m m e t e d earthwards, l o c k e d together. A sparrow
from Opal's flying rig h e l i c o p t e r e d slowly earthwards. T h e
on an eagle's b a c k . Opal smashed her a r m o u r e d head through
aeroplane yawed to starboard, moaning like a wounded
the door window's plexiglass, still shouting inside the h e l m e t ,
animal.
spittle spraying the visor. Issuing orders that A r t e m i s could
/ need to land. Now.
n o t hear and could n o t spare enough t i m e to lip-read. He
Artemis didn't feel guilty about what he'd done. Flare
could see that her eyes glowed red with m a g i c and it was
burns would n o t hinder a being of Opal's regenerative power
clear from h e r m a n i c expression that any threads connecting
I or long. Already the magic would be repairing h e r skin
h e r to rationality had b e e n severed.
< l.unage. At best he had bought himself a few minutes' reprieve.
VAA
AAAA
/WS/\
AAAA
AAAA
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345
When Opal comes back, she will be beyond furious. A true maniac. Perhaps her judgement will be clouded. A r t e m i s smiled grimly, and for a m o m e n t he felt like his old conniving self, before Holly and his m o t h e r had introduced him to their pesky m o r a l codes. Good. Clouded judgement may give me the advantage I need. A r t e m i s levelled the craft as m u c h as he could, slowing
She's coming. Make no mistake about it. W i t h each flash of g r e e n , the hard earth rushed up to m e e t him. Too fast, thought A r t e m i s . / am coming in too fast. I will never get my legal pilot's licence flying like this. He
clenched
his j a w s
and
held
the
stick
tightly.
Touchdown was going to be rough.
his descent. W i n d slapped his face, tugging his skin. Shielding
And it was, though n o t bone-shatteringly so. N o t the
his eyes with a f o r e a r m , he peered downwards through the
first t i m e . It was on the second b o u n c e that A r t e m i s was
blur o f propeller spin.
shunted forward into the c o n s o l e and heard the left side
H o o k Head peninsula j u t t e d into the blackness of the sea b e l o w him like a slate-grey arrowhead. A cluster of
of his c o l l a r b o n e snap. A h o r r i b l e sound that brought bile to his throat.
lights winked on the eastern curve. This was the village of
No pain yet. Just cold. I am going into shock.
Duncade, where Butler had awaited his young charge's return
T h e Cessna's wheels skidded on the long grass, which was
from L i m b o . A magical inlet which had o n c e sheltered the
coated with sea-spray and slicker than ice. Artemis scowled,
d e m o n isle of H y b r a s . T h e entire area was a magical hotspot
not because of his injuries but because his fate was in the
and would set L E P s p e c t r o m e t e r s buzzing.
hands of chance now; he had no control. Opal would be
D a r k blue night was falling quickly, and it was difficult
coming for Jayjay and he must do his utmost to distract her.
to tell hard ground from soft. A r t e m i s k n e w that a carpet
T h e outside w o r l d continued t o intrude m o s t violently
o f m e a d o w ran from D u n c a d e t o the H o o k Head light-
on A r t e m i s ' s thoughts. T h e front w h e e l strut glanced off a
house, but could only see the grass strip o n c e every five
sharp r o c k , shearing away completely. F o r several seconds
seconds w h e n it flashed e m e r a l d in the tower's b e a m .
the w h e e l continued to roll alongside the plane, until it
My runway, thought A r t e m i s .
veered off into the darkness.
He dragged the Cessna into the b e s t possible approach
A n o t h e r b u m p and the Cessna collapsed on to its n o s e ,
line, descending in uneven, stomach-lurching swoops. Solar
propeller ploughing furrows in the earth. Sheaves of grass
panels frittered away from the nose and wings, streaming
fanned the air and clods of m u c k rained through the holes
behind the craft.
in the windscreen.
Still no sign of O p a l .
A r t e m i s tasted e a r t h and t h o u g h t , / don't see what Mulch
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347
makes all thejuss about. It's not exactly lobster mousse. T h e n he was out of the plane and stumbling towards the r o c k y shoreline. A r t e m i s did n o t call for help and n o n e would have c o m e if he had. T h e r o c k s w e r e black, treach-
a stark r e m i n d e r of what could happen if you lost your footing on T h e Nuns. / am hurrying towards a dead end, he told himself. Once I reach the second stack, there is nowhere to go but down.
erous and d e s e r t e d . T h e sea was loud and the wind b l e w
B u t there was no c h o i c e . A quick glance over his shoulder
high. Even if the lighthouse b e a m had pinned the falling
told him that O p a l was coming. He did n o t even n e e d his
plane's image to the sky, it would be a long while b e f o r e
shield-filtered sunglasses to see her. T h e pixie had no m a g i c
u n a r m e d , unsuspecting villagers arrived to offer assistance.
to spare for invisibility. She lurched zombie-like across the
And by then it would be t o o late.
meadow, a red haze of m a g i c lighting her face inside the
A r t e m i s stumbled on, his left a r m hanging low. His good
h e l m e t , fists c l e n c h e d balls at h e r side. H e r wings w e r e
hand cupped the furry head poking from the front of his
o u t s t r e t c h e d , but tattered and b a t t e r e d . She would n o t be
jacket.
Hying anywhere on those. O n l y the p o w e r of Jayjay could
' A l m o s t there,' he panted.
save Opal now. He was h e r last hope for victory. If she did
A pair of sea stacks j u t t e d from the waters like the last
not inject his brain fluid soon, then surely the L E P would
t e e t h from the gums of a t o b a c c o chewer. T h i r t y - m e t r e -
arrive to p r o t e c t the endangered lemur.
high h a r d - r o c k columns that had resisted the erosive p o w e r
A r t e m i s walked across the bridge, careful n o t to bash
of wind and wave. T h e locals called t h e m T h e Nuns because
his dangling a r m against the railing. Miraculously, he was
of their sisterly appearance. H e a d - t o - t o e habits.
in little constant pain, but every footstep sent a t h r o b of
T h e Nuns were quite the local attraction and sturdy rope
white-hot agony flashing across his upper chest.
bridges spanned the chasms from shore to Little Sister and
Distract her a while longer. Then the cavalry will surely arrive.
on to M o t h e r Superior. Butler o n c e told Artemis that he had
I he winged, invisible cavalry. They wouldn't abandon him, would
spent many lonely nights on the second sea stack with night-
they?
vision binoculars, glassing the ocean for a sign of Hybras. A r t e m i s stepped on to the first span of the bridge. It rippled and creaked slightly under his feet, but held firm. He saw the sea far b e l o w through the slats, flat r o c k s pushing
' F o w l ! ' the shriek c a m e from behind h i m . C l o s e r than h e e x p e c t e d . ' G i v e m e the m o n k e y ! ' T h e v o i c e was layered w i t h wasted m a g i c . N o eye c o n t a c t . No mesmer.
through the surface like m u s h r o o m s through clay. T h e body
Monkey, thought A r t e m i s , smirking. Ha ha.
of an unlucky dog lay splayed on o n e of the l o w e r r o c k s ,
F u r t h e r across the chasm. Blackness above and below,
349
348
star points in the sky and sea. Waves growling like tigers.
behind. A r t e m i s t u r n e d slowly and with great effort to face
Hungry.
his enemy. It s e e m e d as though he had b e e n fighting h e r
Artemis stumbled towards the first Nun. Little Sister.
forever.
Stepping out on to a r o c k plateau w o r n treacherous. His foot
T h e pixie stood atop the sea stack, almost dancing with
slipped on the surface and he spun across the diameter of
delight. A r t e m i s could see a small furry figure splayed on
the summit like a ballroom dancer with an unseen partner.
(lie plateau.
He heard Opal's shriek. F o r Jayjay to die n o w would be
'I have him,' O p a l c a c k l e d . ' W i t h all your genius! W i t h
disaster, as she would be stuck in this t i m e with the entire
your big bursting brain! You dropped him! You simply
L E P on h e r trail and no ultimate powers.
dropped h i m ! '
A r t e m i s did n o t l o o k b a c k , though he ached t o . He could
A r t e m i s felt the throb build in his shoulder. In a m i n u t e ,
hear Opal clanking across the boards, swearing with each
there would be w o r s e c o m i n g , he was certain of it.
breath. T h e words sounded almost c o m i c a l in h e r childlike
O p a l s t r e t c h e d t w o hands towards h e r prize.
pixie voice.
' H e is mine,' she said reverentially, and A r t e m i s swore
N o w h e r e to go but forward. A r t e m i s almost fell on to the second span of bridge, pulling h i m s e l f along the rope rail until he arrived at M o t h e r Superior. Locals said that if you stood at the right point on the coastline at sunrise, and
IK- heard thunder in the distance. ' T h e ultimate m a g i c is mine. I have the lemur.' A r t e m i s spoke clearly, so his words would carry across the divide.
squinted a little, then you could just m a k e out stern features
'It's n o t a lemur,' he said. 'It's a m o n k e y '
on the M o t h e r Superior's face.
Opal's smile froze, all tiny t e e t h , and she grabbed what
T h e r o c k felt stern now. Bleak and unforgiving. Even
she had thought was Jayjay. T h e figure was soft in h e r hands. 'A toy!' she gasped. 'This is a t o y '
one false step would n o t be tolerated. A r t e m i s dropped to his knees on the m u s h r o o m curve of the plateau, cupping his left e l b o w in his right palm. Soon, shock and pain will overcome me. Not yet, genius. Focus. A r t e m i s glanced down to the V of his j a c k e t . T h e furry
A r t e m i s ' s t r i u m p h was dulled by pain and exhaustion. ' O p a l , m e e t Professor P r i m a t e . M y brother's plaything.' 'A toy,' repeated O p a l dully. ' B u t there w e r e t w o heat sources. I saw t h e m . ' 'Microwave gel pack stuffed inside the foam,' explained
head was g o n e . Dropped on Little Sister. Waiting for Opal.
Artemis. 'It's over, O p a l . Jayjay is in Haven by now.You can't
This was confirmed by a sudden shriek of delight from
get him. Turn yourself in and I w o n ' t have to hurt you.'
/WW
VAft
351
350
Opal's features w e r e twisted with rage. ' H u r t m e ! H u r t me?' She dashed the toy m o n k e y against
O p a l raised h e r hands, sparks laced like barbed wire round her fingers.
the r o c k surface over and over again until the dented works
No more talk.
fell out. A m e t a l l i c voice issued from the speaker.
A r t e m i s ' s laser b e a m cut deep into the base of Little
'History will r e m e m b e r this day . . . History will . . . History will r e m e m b e r this day'
Sister, until it pierced the o u t e r shell and reached the vast p o c k e t o f m e t h a n e beneath.
Opal screamed and red sparks boiled round her fingertips.
Little Sister was n o t a r o c k . It was the seventh kraken,
'I cannot fly and I cannot shoot lightning, but I have
attracted by the magical resonance of Hybras. A r t e m i s had
enough magic to boil your brain.' Opal's dreams of supreme p o w e r w e r e forgotten. At that
b e e n studying it for years. N o t even Foaly k n e w it was there.
m o m e n t all she wanted to do was kill A r t e m i s F o w l . She
T h e explosion was huge, shooting a c o l u m n of fire fifteen
stepped on to the second span with m u r d e r in h e r h e a r t .
m e t r e s into the air. T h e o u t e r shell collapsed under O p a l ,
A r t e m i s stood wearily, reaching into his p o c k e t . 'Your a r m o u r should save you,' he said to O p a l , his voice calm. 'It will be terrifying, but the L E P will dig you out.' Opal scoffed. ' M o r e tactics. Bluff and double bluff. N o t this t i m e , A r t e m i s . ' ' D o n ' t make me do this, Opal,' Artemis pleaded. 'Just
engulfing h e r in a blizzard of shrapnel. A r t e m i s heard the dull twang o f h e r L E P a r m o u r f l e x i n g to take the shock. Foaly's armour should save her. He t h r e w h i m s e l f flat on the sea stack, suffering the rain of r o c k , w e e d and even fish on his b a c k and legs.
sit d o w n and wait for t h e LEP. N o o n e n e e d s t o g e t
Luck will save me now. Only luck.
hurt.'
And luck did save him. T h e plateau was h a m m e r e d with
' O h , I think s o m e o n e needs to get hurt,' said O p a l .
several sizeable missiles but n o n e struck A r t e m i s . He was
A r t e m i s t o o k a modified laser p o i n t e r from his p o c k e t ,
hailed with smaller o b j e c t s and would have a hundred
activating the n a r r o w b e a m and aiming it at the base of
bruises and cuts to add to his list of injuries, but n o t a
Little Sister.
single b o n e was b r o k e n .
' W h a t are you going to do with that thing? It would take a hundred years to saw through this r o c k . ' ' I ' m n o t trying to saw through it,' said A r t e m i s , keeping the b e a m steady. 'And it's n o t a r o c k . '
W h e n the world felt as though it had stopped vibrating, A r t e m i s crawled to the lip of the sea stack and gazed down at the bubbling sea below. A pyramid of rubble steamed gently in the waves w h e r e the kraken had b e e n . T h e great
352 beast w o u l d b e m o v i n g away silently IIOW, l<> find a n o t h e r
filter changed. ' T h a t ' s quite a pile of rocks you dumni 'I on
magical hotspot. O f O p a l there was n o sign.
O p a l . It's going to take a Retrieval team some time to dig
The LEP will find her.
her out. She's cursing like a tunnel dwarf down there, Whal
A r t e m i s t u r n e d over on his b a c k and w a t c h e d the stars.
did you do to h e r ? '
He did this often, and the sight usually c a u s e d him to
' T h e seventh kraken,' explained A r t e m i s . ' T h e one Foaly
w o n d e r h o w he could r e a c h the planets o r b i t i n g those
missed because it was tubular rather than conical, I would
pinpricks of light, and what he would find t h e r e . On this
guess. I picked it up on a weather satellite.'
evening, the stars just made him feel tiny and insignificant.
Holly placed a finger on Artemis's forehead. 'Typical
Nature was vast and mighty and would eventually swallow
Artemis Fowl. Beaten to a pulp and still he delivers a lecture.'
h i m , even the m e m o r y of h i m . He lay there c o l d and alone
Magical sparks flowed from Holly's fingertip, engulfing
on the plateau, waiting for a feeling of t r i u m p h that he
A r t e m i s like a c o c o o n . He felt c o m f o r t e d and peaceful,
realized would never arrive, and listening to t h e distant
like a baby in its blanket. His pains were wiped away and
shouts of the villagers as they made their way across the
his shattered c o l l a r b o n e liquefied, then solidified w h o l e .
long meadow.
' N i c e t r i c k , ' he said, smiling, his eyes glassy. ' I ' m h e r e till Tuesday,' said Holly, smiling b a c k . ' N u m b e r
Holly arrived b e f o r e the villagers, gliding in from the n o r t h , touching down soundlessly on the sea stack. ' Y o u ' r e flying,' said A r t e m i s , as though he had n e v e r seen this b e f o r e .
O n e filled my tank.' A r t e m i s gazed up at his friend through a red haze. ' I ' m sorry I lied to you, Holly. Truly. You've done so much.' Holly's eyes w e r e distant. 'Maybe you made the w r o n g
'I b o r r o w e d a suit from N u m b e r O n e ' s bodyguards. W e l l , I say b o r r o w e d . . .'
decision; maybe I would have made that decision myself. W e ' r e from different worlds, A r t e m i s . We will always have
' H o w did you find m e ? ' asked A r t e m i s , though he could guess.
doubts about each other. Let's just carry on and leave the past in the past, w h e r e it should be.'
' O h , I saw a huge explosion and w o n d e r e d , Now who could that be?'
g e t , and b e t t e r than he deserved.
' H m m , ' said A r t e m i s . 'A bit of a giveaway' ' A l s o , I followed my old suit's radiation trail. I ' m still following it.' Holly t o u c h e d a finger to h e r visor and the
AAAA
A r t e m i s nodded. T h a t was as g o o d as he was going to
AAAA
AAAA
Holly pulled a t e t h e r from h e r b e l t , looping it under Artemis's a r m s . 'Now, let's get you h o m e before the villagers start building a gallows.'
354
355
' G o o d idea,' m u m b l e d A r t e m i s , drowsy with the aftereffects of his magical makeover. ' Y e s , b e l i e v e i t o r n o t , o t h e r p e o p l e d o have t h o s e occasionally.' 'Occasionally,' agreed A r t e m i s , then his head lolled b a c k and he was asleep.
Foaly fell silent, waiting for Holly to share the details o f h e r adventures. Eventually h e could wait n o m o r e . ' O K , you win. I'll ask. W h a t happened b a c k then - eight years ago? My gods, it must have b e e n mayhem.' Holly felt a phantom tingle on h e r lips w h e r e she had kissed A r t e m i s .
Holly r e s e t h e r wings for the added weight and launched
'Nothing. Nothing happened. We went, we got the lemur,
t h e m b o t h off the lip of the sea stack, flying l o w to avoid
we c a m e b a c k . A couple of glitches, but obviously nothing
the t o r c h b e a m s of the locals that s t r o b e d the night sky
we c o u l d n ' t handle.'
like searchlights. Foaly tuned into Holly's h e l m e t frequency while she was airborne. ' T h e seventh kraken, I ' m guessing. Of course I had my suspicions . . .' He paused. 'This would be a g o o d opportunity to mind-wipe A r t e m i s , ' he said. 'Save ourselves a l o t of g r i e f in the future.' 'Foaly!' said Holly, horrified. "We d o n ' t wipe our friends. A r t e m i s brought Jayjay b a c k t o us. W h o knows h o w many cures lie in that lemur's brain.' ' I ' m kidding. I ' m kidding. And, guess what, we w o n ' t even have to ask Jayjay to donate s o m e brain fluid. N u m b e r O n e synthesized it while he was waiting for the shuttle. T h a t kid is one of a kind.' 'I seem to run into a lot of those. By the way, we need to send a team in for Opal.' ' T h e y ' r e en r o u t e . I think you're in for another rake over the coals from IA w h e n you get b a c k here.' Holly s n o r t e d . ' W h a t ' s n e w ? '
Foaly didn't press for details. Holly would tell him w h e n she had processed it herself. ' D o you ever think you might like to go to w o r k and then just c o m e h o m e ? N o drama.' Holly w a t c h e d the o c e a n flash by b e l o w h e r and felt the weight of A r t e m i s Fowl in h e r arms. ' N o , ' she said. 'I never think that.'
357
swayed in the gentle b r e e z e , rustling with life. Like Tolkien's creatures. A r t e m i s watched Holly stride towards the main d o o r s . If only, he thought. If only. N ° l sat on the front step, flanked by a squad of L E P
A TEAltl OF HAIRDRESSERS
C H A P T E R 16:
officers bristling with the latest weaponry. A r t e m i s k n e w that his D N A was coded into their guns and all they had to do was select his icon from a list and there would be no escape. Jayjay had wrapped h i m s e l f around the d e m o n ' s c r o w n like a hunting cap and s e e m e d m o s t c o m f o r t a b l e
LESS
than an hour later they landed at Fowl
Manor. A r t e m i s w o k e up just as Holly's heels hit the gravel and was instantly alert. ' M a g i c is wonderful stuff,' he said, pinwheeling his left a r m . 'You should have held on to yours,' quipped Holly. 'Ironically, if I had n o t a t t e m p t e d to cure M o t h e r , Opal would have allowed h e r to recover. It was my j o u r n e y into the past that gave Opal the basis for h e r plan, which she instigated by following us to h e r future.' 'I liked you b e t t e r asleep,' said Holly, retrieving her tether. ' M y head h u r t less.' 'It's the big t i m e paradox. If I had done nothing, then nothing would have n e e d e d to be done.' Holly t o u c h e d h e r h e l m e t . ' L e t me get Foaly on the c o m . You t w o could b o t h talk at the same time.' T h e e x t e r i o r lights cast a soft glow on the gravel, setting the stones s h i m m e r i n g like g e m s . Lofty evergreen trees
there. He roused h i m s e l f w h e n he saw A r t e m i s , leaping into the boy's a r m s . A dozen L E P rifles instantly b e e p e d , and A r t e m i s guessed that his i c o n was being s e l e c t e d . 'Hello there,
l i t t l e fellow.
H o w d o you
like t h e
present?' N ° l answered for t h e l e m u r . ' H e likes i t f i n e . Especially n o w that no o n e will be s t i c k i n g any n e e d l e s in his head.' A r t e m i s nodded. 'You duplicated the fluid. I thought that might be an option. W h e r e is D o c t o r Schalke?' ' H e collapsed o n c e O p a l departed. Butler put him in a guest r o o m . ' 'And A r t e m i s J u n i o r ? ' 'Technically, you are A r t e m i s Junior,' replied N ° l . ' B u t I k n o w what you are trying to ask m e . Your younger self has b e e n transported back to his own t i m e . I sent a Retrieval captain and stayed here as a marker. I thought you would want him out of the way as soon as possible, what with your father and the twins on their way h o m e . '
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
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358
A r t e m i s tickled Jayjay under the chin. 'It might have proved awkward.' Holly was troubled. 'I k n o w we promised n o t to wipe
N ° l sighed. ' S o I ' m off the h o o k , as you humans say?' 'Absolutely,' said Holly, clapping him on the shoulder. 'I feel a lot b e t t e r now.'
h i m , but I ' m n o t particularly thrilled that there's a little
' O n the positive side, I bolstered your a t o m i c structure.
Fowl running around with fairy knowledge in his devious
Your atoms w e r e a bit rattled by the t i m e stream. I ' m
skull.'
amazed you are still in o n e p i e c e . I can only imagine h o w
A r t e m i s raised an eyebrow. 'Devious skull? C h a r m i n g ' 'Hey, if the flap fits . . .' N ° l was a little pale. W i t h a flex of his tail, he lifted his squat r u m p from the step. ' A b o u t this n o m i n d - w i p i n g p r o m i s e . T h e thing is, nobody told m e . ' Holly stared at h i m . ' S o you wiped h i m ? ' N ° l nodded. 'And Schalke. I also left a residual spell in
hard you w e r e forced to c o n c e n t r a t e . ' ' W e l l , you had bolstered my a t o m s , and I have to b e g one m o r e favour,' said A r t e m i s . 'I n e e d you to send a n o t e b a c k in time.' ' I ' v e b e e n o r d e r e d n o t t o open the t i m e s t r e a m again, but m a y b e we can squeeze b a c k o n e m o r e thing,' said N°l. A r t e m i s nodded. 'That's what I thought.'
young A r t e m i s ' s eyeballs so B u t l e r will get it t o o . Nothing
' W h e n and w h e r e ? '
fancy, just a blanket m e m o r y loss. T h e i r brains will fill in
'Holly knows. You can do it from Tara.'
the gaps, invent believable m e m o r i e s . '
' H o w do you spell stupendous?' said Holly, smiling.
Holly shuddered. 'You left a spell in his eyeballs. T h a t is revolting'
A r t e m i s stepped b a c k , craning his n e c k to p e e r upwards at the front window of his parents' r o o m . Jayjay m i m i c k e d
' R e v o l t i n g but ingenious,' said A r t e m i s .
the action, climbing on to A r t e m i s ' s shoulders and tilting
Holly was surprised. 'You d o n ' t s e e m t o o indignant. I
his tiny head b a c k .
was e x p e c t i n g a speech. Rolling eyes, flapping a r m s , the
' I ' m afraid to go up, for s o m e reason.'
w h o l e Fowl thing.'
He n o t i c e d h i m s e l f wringing his fingers, and stuffed b o t h
A r t e m i s shrugged. 'I k n e w it would happen. I didn't r e m e m b e r anything, so I must have b e e n wiped, therefore we must have won.' 'You always knew.' 'I didn't k n o w what the c o s t would be.'
hands in his j a c k e t p o c k e t s . ' W h a t she must have b e e n through, all because of my meddling. W h a t she must have —' ' D o n ' t forget us,' interjected N ° l . ' W e were submerged in animal fat. You have no idea h o w gross that is. Eyeball
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spells are the e p i t o m e of good taste c o m p a r e d to animal fat.'
b u t w h e n he l o o k e d up again t h e avenue was e m p t y . ' G o o d b y e , my friends,' he said. 'Take care of Jayjay'
'I was t u r n e d into an adolescent,' said Holly, winking at A r t e m i s . ' N o w that was gross.'
A r t e m i s could hear h e l i c o p t e r r o t o r s in the distance by the
A r t e m i s ' s smile was forced. 'Strangely, all this guilt trip-
t i m e he r e a c h e d his m o t h e r ' s b e d r o o m . He would have
ping is n o t making me feel any better. T h e D N A cannons
s o m e explaining to do, but he had a feeling that A r t e m i s
aren't helping either.'
Senior would n o t press him for details o n c e he saw Angeline
Holly gestured at the L E P squad to stand down, then tilted h e r head slightly as a message c a m e through. ' T h e r e ' s a c h o p p e r c o m i n g in. Your father. W e ' v e g o t to
in g o o d health. Artemis flexed his fingers, summoning his courage, then pushed through into the bedchamber. T h e bed was empty. His m o t h e r sat at her dresser, despairing at the state of her
N ° l wagged a finger. 'And that's n o t just a figure of speech.
hair.
We actually have to fly. I know humans use that expression
' Oh dear, Arty,' she said in m o c k h o r r o r on spotting h e r
even when they don't intend to actually fly, so just to avoid
son in the mirror. ' L o o k at m e . I n e e d a t e a m of hairdressers
confusion —'
flown in immediately from London.'
'I g e t it, N u m b e r O n e , ' said A r t e m i s softly.
'You l o o k fine, M o t h e r . . . M u m . Wonderful.'
Holly raised h e r f o r e a r m , and Jayjay j u m p e d on to it.
Angeline ran a pearl-handled brush through h e r long
' H e will be safer with us.' 'I know.'
hair, the lustre returning with each stroke. ' C o n s i d e r i n g what I have b e e n through.'
He turned to Holly, meeting her gaze. Blue and hazel eyes.
'Yes. You w e r e ill. B u t you are b e t t e r now.'
She gazed b a c k for a second, then activated h e r wings,
Angeline turned on her dresser stool, reaching out h e r
rising a little from the surface. 'In another time,' she said, and kissed him on the c h e e k .
arms C o m e h e r e , m y hero. Hug your mother.'
He was at the front d o o r before Holly called to h i m .
A r t e m i s was happy to do as he was told.
'You k n o w something, Fowl? You did a g o o d thing h e r e .
A thought s t r u c k h i m . Hero. Why did she call him a hero?
For its own sake. N o t o n e penny of profit.'
Generally, victims of the mesmer r e m e m b e r e d nothing of
A r t e m i s g r i m a c e d . 'I know. I ' m appalled.'
their ordeal. B u t B u t l e r had r e m e m b e r e d what O p a l had
He l o o k e d d o w n at his f e e t , c o m p o s i n g a pithy r e m a r k ,
done to him; he had even described the e x p e r i e n c e to
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A r t e m i s . Schalke had b e e n wiped. But what o f M o t h e r ? Angeline held him tightly. 'You have done so m u c h , Arty. Risked everything.' T h e r o t o r s w e r e loud now, rattling the windows. His father was h o m e . 'I didn't do so m u c h , M u m . W h a t any son would do.'
I have a feeling that all your spell-casting in s o m e way put us in this situation. So I want to k n o w everything. Everything. Do you understand?' A r t e m i s nodded. He couldn't see h o w to escape this. He was in a dead end and the only way out was c o m p l e t e honesty.
Angeline's hand cradled his head. He could feel h e r tears
' N o w we will give your father and the twins t i m e to
on his c h e e k . 'I k n o w everything, Arty. Everything. T h a t
hug me and kiss m e , then you and I are going to have a
creature left me h e r m e m o r i e s . I tried to fight her, but she
talk. It will be o u r s e c r e t . U n d e r s t o o d ? '
was t o o strong.' ' W h a t creature, M o t h e r ? It was the fever. You had a hallucination, that's all.' Angeline held him at arm's length. 'I was in the diseased
'Understood.' A r t e m i s sat on the b e d . He felt six years old again, w h e n he had b e e n caught hacking into the school c o m p u t e r s to m a k e the test questions a little m o r e challenging.
hell of that pixie's brain, A r t e m i s . D o n ' t you dare lie to
His father was on the landing now. A r t e m i s k n e w that
me and say that I wasn't. I saw your friends almost die to
his s e c r e t life ended today. As soon as his m o t h e r g o t him
help you. I saw Butler's h e a r t stop. I saw you save us all.
alone he would be explaining himself. Starting at the begin-
L o o k me in the eye and tell me these things did n o t happen.'
ning. Abductions, uprisings, t i m e jaunts, goblin revolutions.
A r t e m i s found it difficult to m e e t his m o t h e r ' s stare and, w h e n he did, it was impossible to lie. ' T h e y happened. All o f t h e m . And m o r e . '
Everything. Complete honesty, he thought. A r t e m i s Fowl shuddered.
Angeline frowned. 'You have a b r o w n eye. W h y did I n o t n o t i c e that?'
S o m e hours later, the m a s t e r b e d r o o m had b e e n trans-
'I put a spell on you,' said A r t e m i s miserably.
f o r m e d by the whirlwind k n o w n as B e c k e t t Fowl. T h e r e
'And on your father?'
w e r e pizza b o x e s on the night table and t o m a t o - s a u c e finger
' H i m too.'
paintings on the wall. B e c k e t t had stripped off his own
Below, the front d o o r crashed open. His father's foot-
clothes and dressed h i m s e l f in one of his father's T-shirts,
steps raced across the lobby, then on to the stairway. 'You saved m e , A r t e m i s , ' said his m o t h e r hurriedly. ' B u t
which he had b e l t e d round his waist. He had applied a mascara m o u s t a c h e and lipstick scars to his face and was
364
currently fencing with an invisible e n e m y using one of his father's old prosthetic legs as a sword. A r t e m i s was finishing his explanation of Angeline's m i r a c ulous recovery. ' A n d then I realized that M o t h e r had s o m e h o w c o n t r a c t e d Glover's Fever, w h i c h is usually
EPILOGUE
confined to Madagascar, so I synthesized the natural cure preferred by the locals and administered it. R e l i e f was immediate.' B e c k e t t n o t i c e d that A r t e m i s had stopped talking and heaved a dramatic sigh of relief. He r o d e an imaginary horse across the r o o m and poked Myles with the prosthetic leg.
HOOK
HEAD,
IRELAHD
' G o o d story?' he asked his twin. Myles c l i m b e d down from the bed and placed his m o u t h beside B e c k e t t ' s ear. ' A r t e m i s simple-toon,' he confided.
C O Hi ItlAilD E R T r o u b l e Kelp led the Retrieval t e a m to dig Opal K o b o i out of the rubble himself. T h e y inflated a distortion bubble over the w o r k zone, so they could fire up the shuttle's lasers without fear of discovery. ' H u r r y up, F u r t y , ' T r o u b l e called over an open channel. ' W e have o n e h o u r until sunrise. Let's get that m e g a l o maniacal pixie out of there and b a c k into h e r own time.' They were
l u c k y t o have
a dwarf on the
team.
N o r m a l l y dwarfs w e r e e x t r e m e l y r e l u c t a n t t o w o r k w i t h t h e a u t h o r i t i e s , b u t this o n e had a g r e e d so l o n g as he d i d n ' t have t o w o r k any o f t h e h u n d r e d and n i n e t y - o d d d w a r f holy days, and if the L E P paid his e x o r b i t a n t c o n s u l tant's f e e s . In a situation like this o n e , dwarfs w e r e invaluable. T h e y could w o r k rubble like no o t h e r species. If you wanted to dig something out alive, then dwarfs w e r e the ones to do
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it. All they n e e d e d to do was let their beard hairs play over a surface, and they could tell you m o r e about what was going on under that surface than any a m o u n t of seismic or geological e q u i p m e n t .
Trouble sat up straight. ' A r e you sure? Could you be in the w r o n g spot?' F u r t y s n o r t e d . 'Yep. I ' m at the other buried L E P h e l m e t . C o u r s e I ' m sure.'
C u r r e n t l y T r o u b l e was m o n i t o r i n g F u r t y Pullchain's
She was g o n e . Opal had disappeared.
progress through the kraken debris on the feed from his
'Impossible. H o w could she escape?'
h e l m e t c a m . T h e dwarf's limbs w e r e a shade paler than
'Beats m e , ' said Furty. ' M a y b e she squeezed through a
usual in the night-vision filter. O n e hand directed a nozzle
natural tunnel. T h e m pixies are slippery little creatures. I
of support foam that coated the tunnel wall at stress points,
r e m e m b e r o n e t i m e when I was a sprog. Me and K h e r b ,
and the o t h e r r e a c h e d in under his beard to rehinge his
my cousin, b r o k e into a —'
jaw.
Trouble cut him off. This was serious. Opal K o b o i was
' O K , Commander,' he said, managing to m a k e the rank s e e m like a insult. 'I m a d e it to the spot. It's a m i r a c l e I ' m alive. T h i s thing is as steady as a house of cards in a hurricane.'
loose in the w o r l d . He put a video call in to Foaly in Police Plaza. ' D o n ' t tell m e , ' said the centaur, running a hand down his long face.
'Yeah, whatever, Furty. You're a m a r v e l . Now, pull h e r out and let's get b e l o w ground. I have a captain I n e e d to discipline.'
'She's g o n e . She left the h e l m e t so the b e a c o n would draw us in. Any vitals from her suit?' Foaly c h e c k e d his monitor. 'Nothing. It was loud and clear
' K e e p yer acorns on, C o m m a n d e r . I ' m readin' the b e a c o n loud and clear.'
until five minutes ago. I thought it was a suit malfunction.' Trouble t o o k a breath. ' P u t out an alert. P r i o r i t y o n e .
Trouble fumed silently. Maybe Holly S h o r t was n o t the only one w h o would have to be disciplined.
I want the guard tripled on our K o b o i in Atlantis. It would be just like Opal to bust h e r s e l f out.'
He followed the live feed. Watching F u r t y scoop aside
Foaly g o t to it. O n e Opal K o b o i had almost managed
the r o c k , w e e d and shell fragments covering Holly's suit.
to take over the world. Two would probably shoot for the
E x c e p t there was no suit. J u s t a h e l m e t with its flashing
entire galaxy.
tracer beacon.
'And call Holly,' continued C o m m a n d e r Kelp. 'Inform
'I c o m e all this way for a h e l m e t ? ' said Furty, aggrieved. ' A i n ' t n o pixie h e r e , j u s t the smell o f one.'
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
the captain that h e r w e e k e n d leave is cancelled.'
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FOWL
HiAnoR,
ALHIOST E I G H T YEARS A G O
It was just out of reach. T h e images already fading. A crafty smile t w i t c h e d at the c o r n e r of his m o u t h .
A r t e m i s F o w l awoke in his o w n b e d , and for a m o m e n t
Fairies. Something about fairies.
red sparks d a n c e d b e f o r e his eyes. T h e y sparkled and t w i n k l e d hypnotically b e f o r e chasing t h e i r o w n tails out of existence. Red sparks, he thought. Unusual. I have seen stars before, but never sparks. T h e ten-year-old boy s t r e t c h e d , grabbing handfuls of his own duvet. F o r s o m e reason he felt m o r e c o n t e n t than usual. I feel safe and happy. A r t e m i s sat b o l t upright. Happy? 1 feel happy? He c o u l d n ' t r e m e m b e r feeling truly happy since his father had disappeared, but on this m o r n i n g his m o o d was bordering on cheerful. Perhaps it was the deal with the Extinctionists. Myfrst major chunk of profit. N o . T h a t wasn't it. T h a t particular transaction had left A r t e m i s feeling sick to the pit of his s t o m a c h . So m u c h so that he couldn't think about it and would probably never dwell on the past few days again. So what could a c c o u n t for this feeling of optimism? Something from the dream he'd b e e n having. A plan. A n e w s c h e m e that would bring enough profit to fund a hundred A r c t i c expeditions. That was it. The dream. What had it been about?
THE
EriD
