Ann Jacobs
Lawyers In Love: Bittersweet Homecoming
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Ann Jacobs
Lawyers In Love: Bittersweet Homecoming
LAWYERS IN LOVE: BITTERSWEET HOMECOMING An Ellora’s Cave publication written by
ANN JACOBS MS Reader (LIT) ISBN # 1-84360-613-5 Other available formats (no ISBNs are assigned): Adobe (PDF), Rocketbook (RB), Mobipocket (PRC) & HTML
© Copyright Ann Jacobs, 2003.
All Rights Reserved, Ellora's Cave. Ellora's Cave Publishing, Inc. USA Ellora's Cave Ltd, UK
This e-book may not be reproduced in whole or in part by email forwarding, copying, fax, or any other mode of communication without author/publisher permission.
Edited by ALLIE McKNIGHT Cover Art by SCOTT CARPENTER
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Ann Jacobs
Lawyers In Love: Bittersweet Homecoming
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Warning:
The following material contains strong sexual content meant for mature readers. LAWYERS IN LOVE: BITTERSWEET HOMECOMING has been rated BORDERLINE NC17/NC-17, erotic, by three individual reviewers. We strongly suggest storing this electronic file in a place where young readers not meant to view this ebook are unlikely to happen upon it. That said, enjoy…
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Prologue
“You’ve got a horny little ass, don’t you honey?” Andi Young laughed. She’d never had more fun in bed than she’d had this weekend with the big, hunky DEA agent who now had her cuffed to her bed and was pretending to do a body cavity search. She writhed beneath him, wanting him to ream her pussy again with his insatiable ten-inch cock. She couldn’t believe all they’d done since cutting out on the boring civic association function where they’d met three days ago. He’d fucked her every way but loose at his beachside condo. Now they’d come here to her apartment because he was leaving on assignment later tonight. He’d resorted to the cuffs and initiated her into toys and bondage games. She’d loved it, every minute of it. Hell, she was still loving the weekend finale. And she didn’t want him to go. Nobody else had ever stuck something up her ass and made her like it, but Gray Syzmanski had. His tongue, his large, callused finger, and now a vibrating butt plug mercifully much smaller than his massive cock—all had probed her anus in the past few minutes. Once he’d gotten her past the pain, the attention had produced a delicious arousal that threatened now to explode. “Fuck me, damn it!” Hot, juicy honey gushed from her needy pussy, settling around the butt plug and soaking his fingers when he extended the search. “Got to make sure your sopping little cunt’s not hiding any contraband.” “Hurry.” Damn it, if he didn’t quit massaging her G-spot and wiggling his fingers around so the vibrations migrated from her pussy to her ass, she was going to come again. “Search my pussy with your cock.”
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“Not quite yet. First you’re gonna give me some head while I’ve got you all tied up.” Facing her pussy, he straddled her face, his heavy balls pressing against her nose, and fed her his cock. His cream, mixed with her honey, tasted erotic…arousing. God help her, she didn’t need to get any more aroused. He tweaked her clit, then dipped his fingers into her spasming pussy, telling her in his rumbling deep, mesmerizing voice about all the fun, arousing things he still had in store for her. “There’s nothing I won’t do to make you come. Nothing I can’t do for you, baby. Oh, yeah. Lick me like that and I’ll feed you my come.” “Mmmm.” Much as Andi liked swirling her tongue around the ruby knob of his cock, she wanted it in her pussy more. Playfully she nipped him with her teeth. He pulled out and switched positions. “Dangerous little piece you are,” he growled, rubbing his cock along her slit before ramming it into her pussy. Oh God! His huge cock carried the vibrations from the butt plug as it stretched and filled her. The minute he primed her G-spot, she started coming. Over and over and over again, each wave better than the last one, until she felt his cock twitch. Twitch and jerk and spurt its load deep inside her womb. She’d gotten him so hot the condom broke. Right now she didn’t care. The afterglow of the big O to end big O’s had her limp as a dishcloth, weak as a kitten. So weak she barely noticed when he unfastened the cuffs and set her free. Later, she heard him swearing in the bathroom while she lay like a rock in his big bed. When he came out, he wore a towel and a worried frown. “It broke, honey.” “I know. I felt you coming.” His tanned cheeks reddened. “Yeah, well… Are you going to be okay?”
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“If you mean am I on the Pill, no. But it should be okay.” No way did Andi want to send him off to some dangerous secret mission worrying about whether he might have gotten his three-night stand knocked up. “I’m clean, and I assume you are, too.” “Sure. That’s not what I meant.” He glanced at his watch. “Look, I’ve got to get out of here or I’ll miss my plane and end up getting fired. I should be back in three or four weeks. I’ll call you.” “Okay.” She wished she believed him. “Really. I want some more of this.” He reached down, cupped her mound. “Not often a guy finds a real hot redhead. Now that I’ve found mine, I want it shaved smooth for me. Promise you will.” “Oh, yeah.” Andi was fairly certain that if he asked her nicely she’d shave her head for him. “I’ll count on it. Now give me a kiss and wish me luck with the drug cartel we’re going in after.” He tasted of mouthwash, not sex, when he tongue-fucked her mouth one last time. Then he hugged her hard, and he was gone.
***** Six weeks later Andi sat in a corner booth at Bennie’s Place, crying her eyes out to Sandra Giancone, her immediate boss at the Hillsborough County State Attorney’s office. “What the hell am I going to do?” She barely got the words out between sobs. “Its father’s dead, killed on the job in some fucking hole in South America. He’ll never come back. I can’t get rid of his baby, but Harper will fire me for sure. I’ll be all but out on the street.” “If he fires you, sue him. You can’t get fired for being single and pregnant, not in this century.”
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“Tell that to Gray’s mother. You’d have thought she was fucking Queen Victoria. Swore her precious baby boy couldn’t have knocked up a tramp like me. Of course she was too prissy to come right out and say it in so many words, but I got the message loud and clear.” Andi hadn’t expected to be greeted with open arms, but she’d never dreamed she’d be called a liar and figuratively heaved out of that Bayshore mansion on her butt. That had hurt, badly. Now, hours later, she was still smarting from the confrontation. “I can’t figure out how the old bitch could have had a dynamite son like Gray.” Thinking about Gray made the tears start coming again. Six short weeks ago he’d been vital, alive, the hottest lover she’d ever had. Now he was gone, and she was carrying a little piece of him and her. A reminder of the most erotic weekend of her twenty-seven year life on this earth. “Calm down, it can’t be good for the baby for you to cry like this.” Sandra paused, then looked straight at Andi and set down her wineglass. “Damn it, get with the program. Forget what that old bastard, our boss, may say or try to do. Just do your job. Win your cases. Claw your way up Harper’s ladder of success or troll for jobs defending the scum we try to put away. “You don’t need a man to lean on. I decided a long time ago to go solo. And Andi, that doesn’t mean I don’t have more than my share of sex.” Sandra fiddled with the strangely beautiful cameo on the choker she always wore, as if it had some special meaning. Andi was too mired in her own problem to figure what that significance might be. All she knew was Gray was dead, she was carrying his baby, and whatever she did, she’d have to do it on her own. She took the Kleenex Sandra offered and wiped away her tears—the last, she vowed, that she’d ever shed over this.
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Chapter One
The beach scene looked normal. Too normal. Kids played in the surf while sunbathing moms cast periodic glances their way. A noisy volleyball game was going on farther down the white sand beach. Soft waves slapped against the shore, lapping close, closer with each pulse of the incoming tide. Gray Syzmanski looked away from the warm Gulf waters. Adjusting his grip on forearm crutches, he started across the parking lot. The stench of hot asphalt reminded him of the all-encompassing miasma of the South American jungle where he’d spent seven miserable years. By comparison, this ninety-degree May afternoon in Florida felt downright comfortable. Gray shoved images of insects and snakes and the stench of rotting tropical vegetation to a far corner of his mind. He was home now. A sudden needle-like stab in his thigh almost sent him sprawling. Hell of a situation, not knowing when his screwed-up nerves were going to kick in and relieve the numbness with agonizing pain. He paused, leaned against the hood of a gleaming silver Porsche. His Corvette had been that color. He’d driven it the weekend before he left. Whatever happened to the redheaded lawyer who’d come home with him? He’d wanted, expected, to continue the affair they’d begun that Friday. Memories of them making hot, adventuresome love had kept him going when he otherwise might have given up the fight to stay alive. Andi. A sassy name for a sassy lady. A sassy lady who’d loved playing erotic games. Top, bottom, or anywhere in between.
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The thought of looking her up now was ludicrous. Once he’d been her match and more. He wasn’t now. He was a cripple. Always would be. Might as well accept it, drag out that handicapped sign he was too proud to use, and save himself torturous trips like this across oceans of parking lots. He hated people feeling sorry for him. So why was he standing out here in the blazing sun, feeling sorry for himself? He might be a physical wreck, but at least he was alive and free. Pushing away from the Porsche, Gray made a beeline for his luxury sedan parked two rows farther back. His wrists ached. His biceps and triceps burned. Sweat dripped down his forehead, obscuring his vision. The pain didn’t matter. Rebuilding some sort of life did. He’d drive across the causeway, meet the partners from Winston Roe in downtown Tampa. They’d probably look at him and wonder if he could drag himself to the office and put in the kind of hours it would take for him to do the only kind of job they could offer. Ironic. Once Gray had scoffed at the idea of riding a desk. Now he wasn’t certain he could persuade the firm’s partners he had the stamina to work every day, dictate briefs, and make an occasional appearance in court. Even getting into the boat of a car his therapist had hand-picked proved a major challenge. Gray stowed his crutches and inched his way behind the wheel. If the law firm’s partners had an ounce of guts, they’d look at him and conclude that he was too battered, too shopworn, and too scarred emotionally and physically to take the path he’d forsworn fourteen years ago. What the hell had made him crave danger, the excitement of working for the DEA? Why had he blown off the job that had been waiting for him at the firm his grandfather had founded? Gray adjusted his sunglasses. As he did every time he had to drive now, he reminded himself to take it easy. He was none too sure he’d mastered the skill of judging distances with one good eye.
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***** At the elegant Tampa offices of Winston Roe, et al—the et al encompassing more than a hundred lawyers and four times that number of assorted paralegals, secretaries, and investigators if his research was correct—Gray felt like a fly under a microscope. They’d settled him prominently at one end of a huge conference table while thirty or so of the firm’s current partners put forth polite questions cloaked in lawyer-like ambiguity. Clearly, they’d modified their usual interview technique to accommodate him and his limited mobility. He guessed the job offer, tendered after thirty minutes or so of gentle questioning, should have come as no huge surprise. Hell, his long-dead grandfather’s name still appeared on the firm’s impressive letterhead. Gray wouldn’t rule out pity as motivation for the job offer, either, or admiration for his having managed to survive seven years against all odds. As he drove back across the causeway, he tried to analyze each question he’d answered, translate every expression he’d witnessed on those smiling faces. He tried hard to believe the partners he’d be working for had hired him because they believed he could do the job. Hell, he had his own doubts. Lots of them. Gray shoved those doubts aside, told himself that he could succeed in his new career if he put his mind to it. And he would. His captors had stolen nearly eight years of his past, but they hadn’t managed to steal his future.
***** Away from work early for once, Andi Young sat on her porch steps and sipped an icy lemonade. Sweat, sunshine, and the smell of fresh-mown grass promised a hot, muggy Florida summer, but a late afternoon breeze off Old Tampa Bay cooled her sweaty skin.
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Times like this, she felt as if she were a kid again. Laughing, she watched Brett heave the ball across her backyard toward her friend Kristine’s husband, Tony Landry. For a moment Andi let herself imagine it was Brett’s father, not Tony, teaching Brett to throw a ball. Most of the time she was pretty satisfied with her life, but there were moments when being a single mom left her swamped with memories and regrets. “Mommy, watch out!” Just in time, Andi raised her hand and deflected the softball before it smacked her in the face. After lobbing it at Tony, she plopped down on a wicker rocker she’d found at a yard sale a couple of weeks back. “It’s only the middle of May, and already I’ve had it with this heat,” she told Kristine, who lounged on the swing that hung in the shadiest corner of the porch. “Me, too. I’m not looking forward to it getting even hotter.” “I don’t imagine you are.” Andi eyed her friend’s distended belly and grinned. “I don’t envy you, being pregnant through the heat of the summer. It’s a bitch. “ Kristine smiled. “Guess Tony and I should have thought ahead, shouldn’t we?” “Yeah.” Just as Andi should have engaged her brain instead of her hormones, the weekend she’d conceived Brett. She might have at least called her doctor the very next day after that condom broke and arranged to get a morning-after pill. But she couldn’t imagine life without her son, now. There was nothing she’d change even if she could. Yeah, she would. She’d change the fact that Brett’s father had died. She’d turn back time, give them the chance to find out if the irresistible chemistry that brought them together might grow into something more. But there was no point in wondering what might have been. No way to change the past. She and her son got along fine. They had her boisterous family and good friends like Tony and Kristine. And Sandra, whose job she’d inherited last year when Sandra had retired to marry Chief of Detectives Rocky Delgado and become a stay-at-home mom.
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“Hey, buddy, you’ve about worn me out,” Tony said when he headed for the porch a few minutes later. “Give an old guy a break.” Andi grinned when Tony sprawled on the top step as though he couldn’t move another inch. With the boundless energy that kept Andi hopping, Brett trotted up the stairs and stopped beside the screen door. Her kid looked as though he’d attracted all the loose dirt in her front yard. “Go inside and wash up.” “Okay.” Brett paused and shot Andi a crooked grin. “Can I watch Batman?” She glanced at her watch. “Sure. But clean that dirt off first. Go on. Hurry. You’ve got five minutes before your show starts.” Brett charged through the door and disappeared as soon as the words came out of her mouth. Andi shook her head. “The kid does love his cartoons,” she said as she picked up the pitcher and poured Tony a glass of lemonade. Tony downed it in one long gulp. “Thanks, Andi. You’re a gem. When are you going to ditch the state attorney’s office grind and come work for me?” “Do your grunt work while you get all the glory? I don’t think so.” Tony was a sweetheart, and he’d been good for Kristine, but Andi didn’t kid herself. He had a massive ego to go along with his huge talent as a criminal defense trial lawyer. He’d be hell on wheels to work for. Tony shrugged, the way he always did when she turned him down. Then he grinned. “We just hired a guy who graduated from Harvard Law. Ought to lend the firm some class.” “And he’s going to work for you?” Andi smiled, but she couldn’t help feeling a pang of sadness. Brett’s father had gotten his law degree from Harvard, though he’d never practiced law. “For the time being, he’ll be one of my associates.” “What’s his name?” Kristine smiled at Toni, prompting him as if he were a reluctant witness.
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“Syzmanski. Grayson Winston Syzmanski, as in the firm’s name, in case you didn’t notice. Shouldn’t take him any too long to make partner.” “Don’t start in about nepotism,” Kristine warned, but she shot Tony an indulgent look. “Gray Syzmanski?” Andi couldn’t care less if Winston Roe hired all the shirttail relatives of every one of its founding partners, but she doubted there was more than one Grayson Syzmanski who’d graduated from Harvard Law. “Andi, you’ve got that lemonade in a death grip.” Kristine glanced pointedly at Andi’s whitened knuckles. “You know Syzmanski?” Tony asked, his dark gaze conveying concern—and curiosity. “Yes. No. I don’t know…” Please God, let him be someone else. The Gray she’d known was dead. Wasn’t he? “Describe him to me, Tony. Please.” “Syzmanski’s about my age. No, he’s probably at least a few years older, since he beat me through law school by a couple of years. Quick mind. Good presence. He’ll play well before a jury.” Oh God. Gray had just celebrated his thirtieth birthday the week before they’d met. He’d have been—no, was, she calculated—thirty-eight. A couple of years older than Tony, whose thirty-sixth birthday party she’d attended a few months ago. The man had to be her Gray. Brett’s father. It was all Andi could do to squelch a scream. “Describe the man, Landry. Don’t assess his ability to get your clients off the hook.” “Tall, blond, and rugged. Single.” Tony grinned. “He’s not a good-looking SOB like me, Ms. Young, but he’ll fascinate the hell out of female jurors. He’s been through some rough stuff. Denise, my secretary, said she’d love to kiss away the scar on his cheek. He reminded her of a pirate in a three-piece suit, because of the black patch he wears over one eye.” His new associate sounded a lot like Gray—except that her Gray had been whole. Beautiful and buff and…the most exciting lover she’d ever had. Brett’s father. He’d
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been going on assignment, looking to close down a South American drug cartel. All sorts of terrifying possibilities crowded her mind. Suddenly the warm breeze chilled Andi to the bone. “What happened to him?” “Syzmanski spent years in some South American prison. Beats me why anybody with a law degree from Harvard would have done it, but he went to work for the DEA after he passed the Bar. Did undercover stuff. Apparently an assignment went bad and he was captured. About a year ago he and another guy managed to escape. He’s spent most of the time since then in a rehab hospital.” Kristine leaned forward and clutched Andi’s arm. “What’s wrong?” Wrong? Wrong? Wrong was too mundane a word. How the hell would Andi describe her son’s father suddenly coming back from the dead? How could she explain that the man she’d spent one fabulous weekend with eight years ago had risen like a phoenix from ashes? Oh God. Gray. Andi remembered going into the Tampa DEA office the day she’d confirmed that she was pregnant. She’d never forget the stricken look on the face of the secretary when she’d asked how to get a message to Gray. I’m sorry, Ms. Young. There’s no way anybody can get in touch with Gray. He was killed two weeks ago in South America. The woman had clearly been telling the truth as she knew it. Her grief had been palpable, real. Neither she nor the local director who had come out and confirmed what the secretary said could possibly have been lying. They’d thought Gray was dead. But he’d survived. Somehow, incredibly, he’d beaten the odds and survived. Maybe it wasn’t him. Maybe there was another Grayson Syzmanski. Andi told herself to get real. What were the odds of there being two guys named Gray Syzmanski who’d gone to Harvard, worked for the DEA, and taken off on some mission in South America in the same century, let alone the same year?
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Gray had survived, and he was back, settling in to work within the legal community where she was making her mark. Andi’s spirits sank further when she imagined herself peering across the courtroom at the defense table, seeing the man she’d built up to his son as being a martyred hero. Ogling the long-ago lover who’d spoiled her for other men. “Oh God, no.” Andi blinked, tried to orient herself again to the here and now, to focus on the two friends who were looking at her as though she’d lost her mind. Kristine reached out to Tony and squeezed his hand, then turned to Andi. “Andi, you’re really worrying us. What is it? You’re pale as a ghost.” “I’m all right.” She had to be. For Brett. Tony stood and moved behind Kristine. In much the same way she’d seen him do in court when he was trying to intimidate a witness, he settled his gaze on Andi. “Something’s wrong, and I’m fairly certain it has to do with Syzmanski. We’re your friends. Talk to us.” “I think Gray is Brett’s father.” In spite of her effort to remain calm, Andi began to sob. How could the DEA people not have gone after him right away, if for nothing more than to bring his body home? How could they just have taken someone’s word he was dead? How could they have let him spend years in some filthy South American prison? How the fuck could they have stolen seven years Brett could have had with his father? Needing to strike out at the faceless villains who had denied her son a dad, Andi clenched her fists. By the time pain registered from her nails digging into her palms, she’d come close to drawing her own blood. She heard Kristine speak as though from somewhere far away. “What do you mean, you think?” “If he’s the Gray Syzmanski I think he is, I know he’s Brett’s father.”
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Tony came around the swing and sat beside his wife. “This needs some explanation.” Andi knew it did. She didn’t know whether she could talk, though. Her chest felt tight, her throat constricted. Kristine laid her hand on Tony’s forearm. “Tony. You’re right, but you’re not interrogating a witness now. Andi, if you want to talk, we’ll listen.” “We met the weekend before he left on that assignment.” Andi shrugged. “What can I say? The chemistry was…too strong to fight.” For the next few minutes she gave her friends an abbreviated version of how she’d met Gray, spent a weekend with him, gotten pregnant, and learned he had died. Emotions long buried flooded her mind. She relived those days, the confusion in her mind as she’d grappled with the question of what to do. Her bittersweet decision to have Brett and raise him alone. Tony raised an eyebrow. “So Syzmanski doesn’t know he has a kid?” “Not unless he’s psychic.” Andi brushed a tear off the front of her T-shirt. “You have to tell him.” Tony splayed a large hand over to Kristine’s distended belly. “He has a right to know. He’ll want to—” “Tony, Andi has to decide for herself what she wants to do.” Kristine shifted on the swing and met his gaze. “I know I have to tell him.” Still, Andi couldn’t picture herself walking up to Gray and hitting him with news she wasn’t at all sure he’d welcome. “But how?” Tony stared at her, sympathy in his dark gaze. “I’d want to hear something that important straight-up. Without the stalling tactics you’re always saying I like to use.” “Straight-up? As in the stiff drink he’s no doubt going to want as soon as he figures out I’m not playing some sick joke on him?” “As in coming right out and telling him. Doing what you tried to do eight years ago.”
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Hammers pounded inside Andi’s head, making her cup her hands behind her neck to try to find relief. “Oh, God.” What if Gray wanted nothing to do with Brett? What if he wouldn’t believe Brett was his son? What if he wanted Brett, wanted to take him away from her? Kristine grasped her hand. “Tony could call his office and find out where Gray lives.” “Would you?” If she didn’t follow through right now, Andi had a feeling she’d talk herself out of going at all. Maybe she shouldn’t say anything. Maybe she should leave well enough alone, not complicate Gray’s return with news that was already eight years too late. When Tony came back outside a few minutes later, he handed her a sheet from the legal pad she kept by the phone. “You’re in luck. My secretary was still working on a brief for me, and she had a copy of his resumé. Syzmanski lives on Clearwater Beach. Here’s the address. By the way, I tired Brett out for you. He’s sound asleep.” A sudden chill started in Andi’s toes and shuddered its way clear up to her cheeks. What was she going to tell her son? What would Gray’s sudden return from the dead do to Brett? It wasn’t as if she and Gray had been longtime lovers. They’d barely known each other. Not a single empty promise had crossed their lips when they’d parted. But it didn’t matter how he might react, or what part if any he would want to play in Brett’s life. The bottom line was, Gray was alive, and he had a right to know he had a son. She had to tell him quickly or she’d lose her nerve. And she had to talk to Gray before she delayed too long in telling Brett. How, what, and when she’d tell her son would depend on Gray—on whether he wanted to be part of their son’s life. Tony cleared his throat. “You’re zoned out, counselor.” Andi met Tony’s gaze. “I can’t take Brett with me. Maybe I should wait—”
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“You should do this now, Andi.” Kristine looked over at Tony. “We can watch Brett while Andi does this, can’t we, love?” Tony nodded. “Sure. We’ll keep Brett occupied while you’re gone.” “You’re sure?” “Brett’s always welcome.” Kristine’s smile faded to a concerned frown. “I wonder how he’ll take the news.” “First things first,” Andi said. “Gray may not want anything to do with his son.” Kristine shook her head. “I doubt that. Still, I don’t envy you, having to let a man know he’s a father, so long after—” “I’ll manage. I’m not sure just how, but I’ll do it.” Andi wished she could borrow some of Kristine’s poise. Her friend might not relish doing it, but she’d know instinctively how to handle an awkward situation like this. She had that inborn grace that got her through every sort of situation. Of course Kristine would never have gotten herself into the position of having to do something like this. But if Kristine had been the one pregnant with Gray’s baby, Gray’s snooty mother would have welcomed her. Instead, the woman had taken one look at Andi, discerned the blue-collar roots she’d never tried to mask, and tossed her out on her rear. “I’ll get Brett ready now,” she said, heaving herself away from the wall she’d been leaning against. Brett rubbed his eyes when Andi woke him. “Come on, sweetie, get up. Tony’s invited you over to his house to play some more.” He grinned, instantly alert. “Wow. Where are you going?” “Over to Clearwater to see an old friend.”
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Brett looked so much like the Gray she remembered, Andi could barely control her reaction. Funny, she’d never let herself think much about the resemblance when she’d believed Gray was dead. “Come on now. You need to get on a clean shirt before you go.” After Brett had left with Kristine and Tony, Andi took a shower and put on fresh shorts and shirt. The image that stared back at her when she looked in the mirror to brush her hair looked ravaged. Gray was in for enough of a shock without her looking as though she were the one just risen from the dead. Rifling through a tray of makeup she seldom bothered with except to go to work, Andi found some powdered blush and dusted it on her cheeks. It didn’t do a lot of good. Maybe mascara? She fished it out and touched the wand to the ends of her lashes. Damn it, the bra she’d thrown on was two years old and showed every day of its age. And it was about as sexy as her grandma’s. Good thing she’d bought new bikini underwear last week. Stripping off the green T-shirt she’d put on, she got rid of the offending bra, replacing it and the T-shirt with a stretchy halter-top. It had occurred to her as she agonized that it wasn’t just Brett’s mom going to see Gray. It was an eightyear-older version of the woman who’d eagerly submitted to him as a lover. A woman who wanted to attract that lover now. She risked another glance in the mirror. The woman who stared back at her looked a lot like a frightened defendant waiting to hear a jury’s verdict. Too bad. It would have to do. Operating on autopilot, she picked up the paper where Tony had scrawled Gray’s address and slid onto the hot seat of her car. In the middle of the causeway now, she still hadn’t figured out how she was going to tell Gray. Maybe she should call and warn him she was coming.
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She picked up her cellular phone, then set it down. She wouldn’t give him the chance to tell her to turn around and go home. Her news couldn’t wait. Telling him about their son wasn’t something she could do any way but face-to-face. When she turned off the main road along the beach onto the street where he lived, she got a sense of déjà vu. There was that neon flamingo above the door of a restaurant where they’d stopped to eat, and an old hotel that had been the backdrop for several period movies. Apparently Gray had come back not only to the Tampa Bay area, but to the same condo where they’d first made love. Long buried memories flooded Andi’s mind. The reckless abandon they’d shared. The skill with which he’d brought her to mindless ecstasy more times than she’d been able to count. The power she’d felt each time he shuddered in her embrace. She wanted to feel that exhilaration again, so much that anticipation dulled her fear.
***** Andi got out of her car and went inside the tallest of several towering condos that rose along the expanse of white sand beach. The elevator swayed as she took it to the fourth floor. Or was she the one who was trembling? She had her answer when she stepped out of the elevator and could barely hold her hand steady enough to lift the brass knocker on Gray’s door. “Who’s there?” Gray’s deep, distinctive drawl was as familiar if it had been only hours, not years, since she’d last heard him speak. As if she’d known him all her life, not for one weekend. “Andi Young. May I come in?” Suddenly her tongue felt thick. Ten to one, Gray wouldn’t remember her from Adam. “I’m not up to having company,” he said after a long, tense pause.
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She wasn’t up to facing him, either, but she had to do this now, before her courage faltered. “Please. It’s important.” “Hold on.” Something clattered to the floor inside. She heard a muffled curse. Finally the door opened. “Gray.” Tony hadn’t mentioned him being in a wheelchair. It shocked her to have to look down at him. The Gray she remembered had been too vital, too active for her to imagine him being restricted this way. When he faced her, she met his solemn gaze. “It’s been a long time.” He smiled, but that solitary gray-blue eye held no amusement. “A lifetime. Remembering you and the time we spent together here sustained me through a lot, Andi. Thanks.” That was something. At least she wouldn’t have to fill him in on who she was or how they’d met at that fundraiser and spent the next three days together here, making memories of mind-blowing sex she’d never been able to dispatch. “What are you doing here now?” His voice sounded as mellow and sexy as she remembered. It drew her gaze to a face that bore faint resemblance to the one that still figured in her dreams. God, how he must have suffered! He had to have gone through hell in that prison. Could she tell him about Brett now, turn his world upside down again? Part of her wanted to turn and run, while a stronger voice inside her urged her to stay. He has a right to know he has a child. The whitened scar Tony had mentioned disappeared under a black patch that covered Gray’s right eye. Tight lines etched around his mouth bespoke pain Andi had trouble imagining.
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But he was still Gray. Just looking at him and hearing the low, sexy cadence of his voice still made her juices start to flow. Andi squelched an urge to touch him and try to ease the suffering she sensed must be his constant companion. “Why are you here?” he asked again, his visible eye focusing on her face. She felt exposed. Naked. Her senses reeled. What the hell was she going to do? Andi had no trouble thinking up what to say to persuade juries that criminals deserved convicting, but now she might as well be mute. How was she going to tell Gray about their child? Her pulse raced, and she restrained herself from wiping her damp palms against her shorts. When she opened her mouth, no sound came out. “I asked you a question.” “I– I know. You asked me why I’m here.” Needing a few seconds’ respite, she knelt and retrieved the law book Gray apparently had dropped while answering the door. “Here’s your book,” she said as she set it on his lap. Gray rolled the chair back a few inches and raked her with a blue-gray gaze. Standing in the doorway watching Gray stare at her rattled the last threads of her composure. “Could we sit down?” “I am sitting. I spend close to half my time in this chair.” He laughed, a mirthless sound that came from deep in his chest. Then his expression lightened, and he gestured toward the plaid stadium blanket that covered him from the hips down. “Don’t mind me. I haven’t had a whole lot of practice being civil for the past few years. Come on in. We can talk in the living room.” Memories crowded Andi as she followed Gray into a room whose floor-to-ceiling windows overlooked the Gulf. Except for the clothes they’d left strewn across the carpet where they’d fallen eight years ago, the place looked the same.
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She settled at one end of the beige leather sectional sofa where they’d devoured each other the first time, too hot to take the few steps into his bedroom. While she waited for Gray to angle his chair around, she stared at an odd-shaped smoked crystal lamp she recalled commenting on so long ago. “Strange how some things haven’t changed at all.” He set the brake on the chair, then shot her a questioning look. “Yes. It is.” The very sameness of the setting brought home to Andi the changes Gray had to face each day. She considered how much courage he must have, to have returned to a place that must evoke recollections bittersweet at best considering his obvious physical limitations. Her own cowardice at the prospect of revealing their son to him shamed her, because when she looked at him, she saw Brett. She might as well tell him now. The revelation wasn’t likely to get easier with him staring at her, his curiosity palpable. Andi inhaled deeply, the way she did before beginning a particularly difficult summation to a jury. “Gray, you made me pregnant that weekend. I tried to contact you when I found out, but your supervisor at the DEA told me you were dead.” The words rushed from her mouth and tumbled over each other as though now, eight years after the fact, there was still a fierce urgency about them. “We have a son.”
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Chapter Two
“A son?” He couldn’t have been more shocked if she’d hit him with a sledgehammer. It couldn’t be. Yes, it could. They’d fucked practically nonstop for three days. Gray recalled that last time at her apartment when he’d cuffed her to the bed…and the condom had split. He’d relived those days over and over during the grim years he’d passed in that South American hellhole they called a detention center. “We have a son?” She nodded, and the hint of a smile curled those pretty lips that had tasted his balls, encircled his cock…but those memories paled in comparison with the magnitude of what she just said. Damn it, the DEA had left him to rot in hell for seven goddamn years. They’d let his son do without a father. Gray clenched the arms of the chair. If only he could get his hands around the fat necks of whatever bureaucrats had decided he was more expendable than the project he’d been sent on, he’d be hard-pressed to resist choking the life slowly out of them. They’d have done the same thing if they’d known about his child. Hell, they’d let a family man with three kids stay “missing” for nearly as long before sending in a rescue team. Too bad it had taken the local law enforcers so long to capture the drug kingpins the DEA had targeted in the first place. It was his own damn fault. He’d accepted the risks that went with the job. But now he was home, and he had a son. A seven-year-old son. Gray released the brake on his chair and rolled closer. He reached for Andi’s hand. “Tell me about him.”
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When she smiled this time, her tension seemed to dissipate. “His name is Brett.” Gray mentally sounded out the name Andi had chosen, found he approved. “I like the name. Where is Brett now?” “With Tony and Kristine Landry. You’ve met Tony. He’s—” “The hotshot criminal defense lawyer who’s going to be my boss?” Andi laughed, the first uninhibited sound he’d heard from her since she arrived. “That describes Tony pretty accurately. He’s the one who told me you’d come back.” “We met this afternoon.” Gray imagined Landry’s news had been as much a shock to Andi as her announcement he was a father had been to him. “He didn’t say a word about—” “Tony didn’t know. No one did, until today. Except me. And your mother.” “Why not?” “What would have been the use, naming a man everybody thought was dead? Your mother made it clear she wanted nothing to do with my illegitimate offspring.” Andi sounded flippant, the way he remembered her being when she’d caught his attention so long ago. The bleak look in her eyes, though, silently attested to pain he doubted she’d ever put into words. Gray visualized the scene that must have taken place. As smart-mouthed as she was smart, Andi would have stood her ground in the face of his mother’s stiff-necked disapproval, a reaction he had no trouble envisioning. His snobbish mother’s comments upon hearing he’d left a stranger unwed but pregnant with his child, he was certain, must have torn, even through Andi’s tough veneer. If Elizabeth Winston Syzmanski hadn’t died while he was gone, he’d face her down and disown her for denying her only grandchild. And if he could get out of this damn chair without making a major production out of it, he’d take Andi in his arms and try to banish the sadness from her eyes. Since that wasn’t feasible, he tried to make light of the situation. “So you and Landry are buddies?”
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“Tony and Brett are great friends. They like doing macho guy things together. Tony’s wife Kristine is my pal. I met her three years ago when she worked with me, before she married Tony. They live on the Bayshore, a few blocks from us.” He glanced at her left hand, saw no ring. “What about you, Andi. Are you married?” “No.” “Why not?” “Haven’t had time to go looking. Seriously, Brett and I get along just fine. We don’t need a man to take care of us.” She withdrew her hand, placed it across her lap as if to punctuate the fierce independence evident in her expression. “Is there room in Brett’s life for me?” He hated the plaintive sound of his voice. She smiled at his question, and her misty blue gaze held steady. “Of course. You’re his father. I never meant to keep him all to myself. It just turned out that way. Until now.” “What’s he like?” “Smart. Active. His mind moves a mile a minute, or so it seems when I’m trying to get the best of him in an argument.” “Do you have a picture?” She dug into her purse, fished out a worn wallet, and handed it to him. “He’s tall for his age, but a little on the slender side.” When she looked at him, her smile broadened. “Brett looks a lot like I imagine you did when you were seven years old.” Gray nodded. Even if he wanted to, which he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to allege that the grinning boy in the photos was anybody’s child but his own. “Does he know anything about me?” “As much as I knew to tell him. He thinks you died a hero, trying to make this a safer world.” Andi blinked back tears. “I’ll tell him you’ve come back, as soon as I get home.”
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“When can I meet him?” “Any time. You can spend as much time together as you’d like to.” As much as he’d like? This child he had yet to meet might be the only one he’d ever have. According to the doctors, he’d screwed up his plumbing somehow. Caused something called retrograde ejaculation. They’d also mentioned some unpleasant sounding procedures he might undergo to father a child in practically the same breath they’d used to tell him how lucky he was because he could still enjoy conventional sex. Gray figured that practically speaking, his ability to procreate had gone the way of his more obvious losses. Funny. Before he’d spent seven years in hell, he’d never thought much about having a home, a family. He doubted he’d have welcomed the news eight years ago that he was going to be a father. Now he’d give anything to experience the traditional kind of home life he once thought too tame and conventional. But the opportunity for that was gone. He glanced at his watch. Seven-thirty. Soon it would be dark, and he didn’t dare try to drive at night. “Could I come meet him tomorrow?” “Sure.” Andi stood, stepped to the bank of windows that overlooked the Gulf of Mexico. She stared out at a sunset that looked a lot like the one they’d watched from the beach just before they’d come here and set upon each other like crazed teenagers. He wondered what was coursing through her mind. Her reddish brown curls were longer now, but they still bounced when she moved. Clingy black material now caressed her compact curves the way he wished he could. Gray imagined her long, smooth legs tangled around his waist, her shorts and top tossed aside. He recalled her greenish blue eyes, now focused on the water and the setting sun. They’d reflected sadness and empathy when she saw him for the first time today. Not
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the passion he’d foolishly hoped to see when he heard the muffled sound of her name through the solid wood of his front door. Slowly, as if deep in thought, she moved away from the window and sat on the opposite end of the sectional. With long painted nails, she tapped out a cadence on the glass-topped cocktail table. “Where exactly do you live?” She reached for a pen and pad Gray had left in the middle of the table but said nothing. He met her gaze, gave her what he hoped would pass for a reassuring smile. As if she had to do it before she changed her mind, she scribbled an address and phone number on the paper. Gray tensed. Why, if the prospect of letting him see his son made Andi uneasy, had she come here? Had she expected to find him whole, eight years older but basically the same man who’d fucked her brains out in another lifetime, while they’d watched the same sun disappear beneath the same watery horizon? “Why did you tell me about our child now?” She said nothing but stared out the window toward the water again. When Gray had practically given up hope that she’d reply, she met his gaze. “This afternoon I found out you weren’t dead. That you’d come back. You have rights—” “Stop.” Gray held up a hand. He didn’t want to hear about legalities. He needed to know—what? “Thank you for coming. I realize you could have kept this to yourself.” Her expression turned solemn. “I couldn’t have kept quiet and lived with myself. You don’t have to do anything. I don’t expect anything from you. Brett and I have gotten along fine, just the two of us.” “I want to. It’s just, hell, I don’t know.” “This has to have come as a shock.”
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“Definitely.” Now she probably thought he was trying to slither out of his responsibilities. Why couldn’t he get across what he was feeling? “A good kind of shock, though.” “You’re certain?” “Definitely. The best kind.” Except, maybe, her climbing all over him the minute he’d opened her door as though nothing had changed between them. Her hesitant smile made him want to reassure her. “I’m anxious to meet our son. I’m glad you chose to have him—and to tell me about him.” “I’m glad I had him, too. Even though I never planned to be a single mom, I can’t imagine life without Brett. You’re going to love him.” Once Andi started talking, the words tumbled from her mouth. He remembered her spirited monologue when they’d first met, when her focus had been on an interesting case she was prosecuting. Now it was on her son. Their son. Suddenly anxious to diffuse the feelings that threatened to overcome him, Gray picked up the paper, glanced at the address. “This is not too far from where I grew up.” She nodded, as if she remembered him mentioning that before. “Do you need directions?” “I can find it.” Old Hyde Park, not too far from the bridge to Davis Island. Gray imagined a Victorian bungalow with gingerbread shutters. Did Andi’s neighbors have kids for Brett to play with? “What time would be—” “We’ll be home all day. Come any time it’s convenient.” He bristled, then made himself smile. The shrink had been right, telling him he’d have to get used to people going out of their way to accommodate him. At least Andi didn’t cringe when she looked at him, the way some women did. That was something, though he wasn’t certain whether her acceptance of his altered
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appearance signaled genuine kindness or a good lawyer’s ability to mask reactions she didn’t want him to see. “How about one o’clock?” “Make it eleven thirty. We’ll have lunch. I’m glad you came back. That you didn’t die the way they told me. I’m just sorry you’ve had to go through so much.” Andi stood and picked up her oversize handbag. “I’ve got to go now.” After she left, Gray moved over by the window and watched the sun’s reflection on the water. What would his son be like? How would the boy feel about having a dad after being told all his life that his father was dead? When he looked down at the bright plaid stadium blanket he’d thrown across his practically useless legs, he wanted to scream. Some fine excuse for a father he’d be.
***** When Gray pulled up in Andi’s driveway a little before noon the next day, she was waiting on the porch. Her white shorts and the red print shirt she’d tied loosely beneath her breasts sent blood slamming into his cock the way it hadn’t for longer than he cared to remember. Andi Young was one hot package, too sexy for a guy who couldn’t walk by himself, never mind satisfy all a red-blooded woman’s carnal needs. Anyway, he was here to meet his son. He winced at the sensations he felt when he lifted his legs from the car to the gravel driveway and locked the braces. The metal parts bit into the flesh on his thighs. Ironic, he thought, that he’d been left with the ability to feel pain when he couldn’t make his legs follow his brain’s commands. It hurt like hell to stand and steady himself against the car with one hand while groping for his crutches with the other. Dragging himself along the sidewalk, Gray wondered—not for the first time—if it was worth the torture he suffered, using braces and crutches to create an illusion of mobility the wheelchair couldn’t match.
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When Andi opened the screen door and stood back to let him in, he noticed her hands were shaking. “Come on in.” “Where is Brett?” “In the den, watching Saturday cartoons on TV. Come on inside, and I’ll call him.” “Wait. I’d rather not have my son remember his first meeting with me as one that interrupted his time with the Road Runner.” He’d also prefer that his son not see him for the first time while he was dragging himself toward the first available chair, struggling with every step. When he stepped inside, one crutch tip slid on the polished hardwood floor. He pitched forward, but caught himself in time to keep from sprawling on his face. Andi grabbed his arm, as if she thought she’d be able to hold him up. “Sorry. The floor’s slippery. How can I help?” “I’m okay.” He caught himself before he could say anything else that sounded as defensive as he felt. “Then let’s go in the kitchen. We might as well have lunch now. Brett talked me into fixing him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich an hour ago, so he’s not likely to want to eat again any time soon.” Gray needed to sit before he fell. “All right,” he said as he followed Andi down a narrow hallway. He lowered himself onto the straight chair Andi pulled away from a glass-topped kitchen table and unlocked the braces so he could bend his knees. While Andi took a dish from the refrigerator and set it in the microwave, he tried to will away the pain. Looking at her helped. A lot. “Is lasagna okay?” she asked. “Sounds good.” Gray’s appetite had made a full recovery since he’d left the hospital. Looking at Andi and remembering how she’d begged him to fuck her after he’d cuffed her to her
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bed had him hard as stone, as if there were a chance in hell she’d invite him back into that bed. “Gray?” “I’m sorry.” Was her pussy as tight and wet as he remembered? “Do you like Caesar salad?” What he’d like was to fuck her. She had no right to look as good now as she had eight years ago, or to look at him as though she might want sex with him, too. “Yeah. Just set it in front of me, and I’ll eat it. I assume you’re still with the prosecutor’s office.” She nodded. “I’m chief assistant to the state attorney now, probably because I’m the only one who’s stuck it out so long. Somehow I’ve resisted the urge to switch over to criminal defense.” “Congratulations.” If any woman could succeed in the dog-eat-dog world of criminal law, Gray imagined it would be Andi. “I’m just about to start my own law career now. Hopefully I remember enough to avoid making a complete fool of myself.” “I’m sure you’ll do fine.” Smiling, Andi reached into a cabinet and retrieved a box of croutons. “Tony mentioned that we’re likely going to be clashing with one another in court every now and then.” Gray shrugged. “Criminal law seemed appropriate. The DEA gave me plenty of opportunity to understand the criminal mind. Not to mention the years I spent as a guest at the headquarters of a Colombian drug cartel.” “Why not prosecution, then?” When she grinned, he noticed tiny lines that crinkled at the corners of her eyes. “In my condition? You’ve got to be kidding.” “Not at all.” Gray shook his head. “Unlike prosecutors, defense attorneys plan their outings to the jail, and they generally don’t trek out to crime scenes for firsthand looks at evidence. I’ll have law clerks and junior associates to do the grunt work, chase down witnesses,
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and so on. And private investigators to sniff out leads. Besides, my grandfather didn’t found the state attorney’s office.” As though she hadn’t noticed before, she glanced at his legs. “Gray, I don’t know what to say.” Her eyes clouded over, her lower lip trembled. “Don’t pity me. For God’s sake, don’t. I can’t stand it, not from my son’s mother.” She looked genuinely surprised. “Pity? Why would I pity you? You’ve survived horrors I imagine would kill most people. You’ve stepped into a job with a top law firm. Besides, you’d probably survive quite nicely even if you decided to become a beach bum. I’d say you’re fairly lucky, on balance.” Did she mean it? Gray saw no evidence to the contrary. “Speaking of money, I want to make things right, reimburse you for the child support I haven’t been paying all along.” “I’ve been looking out for Brett all his life. I don’t want your money.” She set a plate down in front of him, not quite hard enough for it to bounce, then handed him a napkin wrapped around some silverware. Glaring, she set down her own plate and silverware and sat at the other side of the table. “You’ll get it anyhow,” he muttered, making a mental note to see someone in the family law division of the firm and arrange to provide financially for his son. Andi hardly ate a bite, but he wolfed down everything on his plate. The food tasted great, despite the tension he’d unwittingly caused by bringing up the subject of his son’s support. Gray enjoyed the sweetened iced tea, its contrast with the tangy flavors in the salad. Not so different from the conflicting emotions he read in her. His meal finished, he watched her push food around on her plate. When she set her fork down, he cleared his throat. “That was good. Now tell me what’s on your mind?” Andi looked at him the way he imagined she’d zero in on a juror. “As I said before, I don’t hold you responsible for Brett. I made the decision to have him, so he’s my responsibility. You aren’t obligated to do anything unless you want to.”
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When he leaned forward to put those wants and fears into words, pain pierced the side of his head without warning. Nauseating in its intensity, the pain radiated from the mass of scar tissue beneath his eye patch. A reminder that there were activities beyond his ability to handle now. He reached up and rubbed the tortured flesh. “Gray, are you all right?” “No, damn it. I’m nowhere near all right, although they tell me this is about as good as I’m likely to get. I owe you the truth. I want my son. I want to be his father. I’m just not sure my being here’s what’s best for Brett.”
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Chapter Three
“Look at me. I’m half blind. I can barely drag my legs around. A kid deserves a dad who can play ball with him, traipse around Disney World, take him fishing. I can’t. Not now. Probably not ever. Maybe Brett would be better off not knowing me.” “Don’t talk like that.” When her eyelids fluttered, he wondered if she was blinking back tears. God, but he hated that the strongest emotion he seemed to elicit from women was pity. Still, he owed Andi the whole truth. “There’s something else. I’m in no condition to take responsibility for a kid. Pain hits me without warning, and sometimes I can’t function. If Brett were alone with me when it hits me the way it just did, he could…” He closed his eye against the picture of an active boy being left to his own devices in all kinds of dangerous situations. “He could get hurt. It’s up to you, whether you want Brett to have me in his life.” She reached over, took his hand. “You can give our son all the fathering he needs. No, you can’t run, and you can’t play rough games with him. You may need to have another adult around when he’s with you. But Brett needs his father, and there’s a lot you two can do together, including fishing. I bet you could manage Disney World, too, if you’d use a wheelchair the way you were doing last night.” Gray hated that damn chair and all it stood for. Hated the way strangers stared when they saw him in it. “I don’t want him to think of me as a cripple.” “He won’t if you don’t think of yourself that way.” She’d always had a smart mouth. That was one of the first things he’d noticed about her. “I hope you’re right. I’ve got doubts, lots of them, but I’ll give being Brett’s dad the best I’ve got.”
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“That’s all I can ask for.” She glanced at the clock above the stove. “Brett should be surfacing any minute now.” “Did he know I was coming?” Andi smiled. “Yes.” “How’d he take the news that his old man isn’t dead after all?” When Gray tried to imagine a seven-year-old’s emotional reaction to that sort of a revelation, he came up blank. “He looked awestruck. To be honest, I’m not sure he quite believed me. I’ve never talked a lot about you to him before.” “Why not?” Planting clenched fists against her hips, Andi glared at him. “Damn it, Gray, I thought you were dead. I filled him in on everything I knew about you, which wasn’t much. What good would it have done him to make an icon of the father I thought he never was going to know? It wasn’t as if he had your family to keep your memory alive.” “Sorry. This coming back from the grave’s a little daunting.” More than a little. When Gray looked out the bay window at a small bike, it struck him. He’d missed so much. His son’s first step. His first wobbly ride on the two-wheeler. When she met his gaze, Andi’s expression softened. “For me, too. And for Brett, I imagine.” “I hope the way I look doesn’t scare him off.” Gray closed his eye, unwilling to risk stirring the emotion he’d see in her eyes. “Damn it, can’t you forget yourself for a minute? Anticipate meeting your son? This isn’t just about you.” Gray looked so stricken, Andi wished she could take back her angry words. Then Brett bounded into the kitchen, skidding to a halt.
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Gray’s gaze locked on the boy. A smile lit his face, turned his expression of despair to one of pure happiness that instantly choked Andi’s heart in her throat. Brett hung back for a moment, his wide-eyed gaze focused on the black patch covering Gray’s damaged eye. Gray’s smile wavered, as though he sensed the boy’s hesitation. Then Brett grinned. “Are you my dad?” Gray let out the breath he’d apparently been holding, stuck out his hand, and smiled. A huge smile this time, one that deepened the creases around his mouth. “Yeah. Come on over here and let me get a good look at you.” Such mundane words, but they conveyed so much emotion. Andi wiped the tears from her eyes. She watched Brett climb onto Gray’s lap as though he’d been doing it for years. A sob of joy came from somewhere deep inside her when she watched Gray put his arms around their son. The scene she’d dreamed of yet never dared think she might ever see. Brett started to snuggle up against Gray’s cheek, then pulled back. “Mommy said you got hurt.” “Yes, I got hurt, but I’m pretty much okay now. I won’t break.” Brett hesitated, then reached up with one hand and touched his dad’s scarred cheek. Andi sensed the questions Brett apparently didn’t know how to ask. Questions she’d be hard pressed to answer. How on earth would Gray manage to explain how he’d been locked up but wasn’t a criminal? How could he tell his son he’d been held hostage by demented South American drug lords? Andi couldn’t begin to imagine how he’d survived the unimaginable physical and mental torture they’d inflicted, much less how he’d describe his experiences to a seven-year-old. “Are you going to stay here now?” Brett asked.
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A simple question, one Andi would never have guessed would come before the rest. Gray’s arms tightened around Brett’s skinny shoulders. “Yes. It’s way past time for us to get to know each other.” When Brett shifted on his lap, Andi saw Gray wince, but otherwise he gave no indication holding his son gave him anything but pleasure. It struck her how Brett and Gray shared strong chins and deep-set eyes more smoky than blue, as well as the shocks of wavy blond hair with cowlicks in almost the same places on the crowns of their heads. The resilience of kids! Andi wished she could take Gray’s return from the dead with the degree of equanimity Brett managed without any apparent effort. “How’d you get hurt?” Brett asked, his gaze on the crutches Gray had set in the corner beside his chair. Gray shifted Brett onto his other knee. “I fell while some soldiers were helping me get out from where the bad guys had been holding me.” Brett’s eyes widened. “You broke your legs?” “One leg. Mostly, it was my back that got hurt.” “Then why do you need those?” With patience that surprised Andi, Gray explained where he’d been and how he’d gotten the injuries even a child couldn’t fail to notice. She was sure he downplayed the gory truth, because the way he explained it to Brett, he sounded almost as if his ordeal had been a great adventure. “Are you gonna get any better?” Brett asked. “Some. Maybe. I won’t ever get around as well as you, though.” “I’m sorry.” “Don’t be. I’m not. I could be much worse off than I am.” When he looked at Brett, his joy seemed genuine.
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“Why have you got that patch over your eye?” “My eye got hurt, so they had to take it out. I decided to wear the patch instead of a fake eye because the patch covers up some pretty bad scars.” Andi wasn’t certain she liked for Gray to flaunt his scars like medals of valor, but Brett seemed to think the scar and patch were cool. Brett grinned. “Sure. Mom, I’m getting hungry again.” She looked at her watch. They’d spent the entire afternoon together. Time had gotten away from her. “It is getting close to dinnertime.” “I’d better go, then.” “You’re not going to stay here with us?” Brett asked. “Not now, buddy. I’ve got to get home and get ready for my new job on Monday.” Gray paused, as though he hated disappointing his son. “We’re going to see lots of each other, though. How about coming to see me next weekend? My place is on the beach.” “Cool. Mom, can we?” Andi looked from father to son, then nodded. “If you’re good all week long.” “I will be.” “Then it’s settled. We’ll spend next weekend together.” Gray reached down and straightened first one leg, then the other. After locking his braces, he placed his crutches carefully and heaved himself out of the chair. Brett watched, wide eyed, as Gray made his way very slowly through the house. Andi rushed ahead to hold the front door open. “Gray, you’re welcome to stay,” she said when he paused on the porch. “I can’t, but thanks anyway. He’s a great kid, Andi. Could I talk you into bringing him to stay at the beach for a few days?” “Your place?” “Yeah. Walk me to the car?”
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She figured she’d better. He looked as if he might keel over. “Brett, go in the house and get ready for dinner.” She didn’t imagine Gray was anxious for the boy to watch him make his way down the sidewalk. “‘Bye, Dad. Come back soon.” “I will.” After he watched Brett go back inside, Gray made his way to his car. “I’d rather have you come here. You could stay in the guest room.” Or with her. All that had happened in the past eight years hadn’t altered the chemistry that had sizzled between them from the start. Gray took her hand and rubbed his thumb along the creases of her palm. “Think, Andi. There are some things I can’t do, others I can manage only if I’ve got access to facilities that have been modified to fit my needs. For example, if I’m going to drive, I’ve got to have a car like this, with automatic everything and hand controls. My depth perception’s nil, so I haven’t tried driving after dark.” Andi’s cheeks heated. She should have thought before opening her big mouth. She also ought to have realized last night why he hadn’t jumped at the opportunity of coming here right then. “I’ll be glad to drop Brett off—” “Whoa, there. You’ll have to stay, too. Well, you really don’t. I can hire someone to make sure Brett doesn’t drown when we’re on the beach. But you’re welcome. I’d like to spend time with you, too. I imagine it will be easier for him, at least the first few times he stays with me, if you come with him.” It was pure instinct that made her bend and brush her lips across Gray’s cheek, over the scar that disappeared beneath the patch. “I’d like to spend time with both of you, too. We’ll come over after I get off work on Friday.” “Good. When can I call and talk with Brett?” “Anytime.” She laughed. “Well, anytime before his bedtime, which is usually around eight o’clock.”
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He squeezed her hand then released it. “Until Friday, then. Thanks, Andi. For everything.” Andi wasn’t about to let him go like that. Not when every cell in her body ached for more than that tame sisterly kiss. Bending, she took his mouth, ran her tongue along the seam of his lips until he took over control, thrust his tongue deep in her throat. It was his kiss now, his hands holding her face to his. A hello kiss, much like the goodbye tongue-fucking he’d left her with so long ago. Confused, she pulled away. It was now, not then, and she’d just made a prize fool of herself. “Well, Gray, that was just as good as I remembered,” she said, making an effort at levity. “We’ll see you on Friday.” When she stepped back, he started the car. For a long time she followed his car with her gaze, remembering…and wanting. Wanting a man the way she hadn’t wanted one for eight long years. “Mom, I like Daddy. Why wouldn’t he stay with us?” Brett asked when Andi finally went back inside. She reached down and tousled her son’s blond curls. “I imagine he had things he had to do. He’s invited us to spend next weekend with him at the beach, so you’ll get to spend some more time with him.” Late that night, after Brett had gone to sleep, it came to Andi that she, too, had wanted Gray to stay. She wanted more than was smart, more than she sensed Gray was ready to give—and she wanted to give him far more than she dreamed he might accept from her.
***** He’d wanted to stay. If he had, though, he’d have had to reveal more than he imagined any woman would want to know about the logistical challenges he faced. Somehow his therapists’ claims that he was one of the lucky ones held no water, not
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when he still couldn’t make do in bathrooms that didn’t come with grab rails and raised toilet bowls. As if he could hide the truth. Well, at least he could keep from slapping Andi and their kid in the face with the gory facts. For a while, anyhow. Maybe he’d prove the doctors wrong, gain more mobility than they thought he could, manage to make some kind of a life he’d be willing to ask them to share. Gray laughed out loud. There was nothing like meeting the playmate he’d never forgotten and the son he never dared imagine he might have, to make him start dreaming impossible dreams. That night he tossed in restless sleep, his body tangled in smooth cotton sheets, his breathing ragged. His cock rock-hard and ready, his body broken out in a cold sweat, he reached for a lover who wasn’t there. Something didn’t fit. Smooth clean sheets in this hellhole of a prison? Strange. He couldn’t hear water dripping down the walls, or the usual pathetic moans from prisoners in the cells next to his own. Had their captors silenced them? Gray strained to hear the sound of booted feet against hard-packed clay, smell the pungent odors of cheap rum and high-grade Colombian ganja. Expecting more poking, prodding, perhaps another beating at the hands of the animals who were his jailers, Gray held very still. Maybe they wouldn’t bother with him if they thought he’d passed out. Suddenly he awakened. Soft light streamed through half-closed vertical blinds, not bars. A glance around the spacious room revealed no hard-packed earth, no sweating walls to drip foul-smelling water over his aching flesh. Gray was home, and it was morning. Time to get up, begin a new life that suddenly had new meaning. He had a son. Brett. And Andi. Had she meant it when she kissed him yesterday, or had that kiss been, as she’d said, merely to see if he tasted as good as she remembered? He dared not
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assume she meant more, or that she wanted more of whatever he might be able to give her sexually. Still he wondered. He imagined Andi’s lithe silky body under his hands, getting wet and hot while he stroked her incredibly soft, sensitive skin. When he thought of Andi on her knees over his face, begging him to lick her pussy—or straddling him, welcoming his cock into her hot, wet cunt—his balls felt as though they’d burst. For a minute he fantasized that he still could satisfy her…that with his voice and his hands he could arouse her as much as he’d once done by sweeping her off her feet, fucking her standing up while they showered together. Shit, he couldn’t even top her anymore unless she wanted to risk being squashed under his still substantial weight. He transferred himself to his chair and headed for the bathroom. The persistent throbbing in his groin didn’t go away until he hit it with a frigid blast from the showerhead. Not that Gray didn’t welcome the arousal. He did. It was a welcome reminder that he’d been spared a permanent spinal injury. That unlike some of the paraplegics he’d met at the rehab center, he could still have sex. Of course there were plenty of ifs to that. If he could get past the mental hurdle of letting a partner see all his scars. If he could find a woman who could look past them and see him. If he could swallow his pride and ask her to take the leading role in bed. When he looked at himself he had trouble believing a woman could want him now. Particularly Andi, whose voracious sexual appetite had taxed him to satisfy when he’d been whole. Maybe if he had the surgery… No. The risk was too great. The operation to drain and shunt the cyst that had formed at the site of the injury that caused his spinal stenosis could improve his mobility as well as alleviating the pain. Unfortunately it might as easily sever his spinal cord.
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At least the constant pain let him know he was still alive. And he had control over his bodily functions. All of them. He wouldn’t if the cord were severed at the point of the injury. He’d leave well enough alone. Gray shoved dreams of sex to the back of his mind. Instead he thought of Brett and all the things he wanted them to do together. They’d start making up for lost time right away. Damn. He could barely stand looking at his fractured face without the concealing patch. Pity he couldn’t very well bathe and shave with the thing in place. As he raked the electric razor over his cheeks and chin, he considered whether he could manage a trip to Disney World. Or maybe deep sea fishing in the Keys. He and Andi could take Brett… What the hell was he doing, picturing outings not just with his son, but with Andi too? He had to be losing his mind, imagining the three of them doing things as a family. No matter how he tried over the next few days, Gray couldn’t banish that impossible scenario from his mind. By Friday morning, he found himself longing for six o’clock, when Andi had said she and Brett would arrive to spend the weekend.
***** “How much longer will it be before we get there?” Andi glanced at the snarl of cars on Courtney Campbell Causeway, then grinned at Brett. “About twenty minutes, if we ever get out of this traffic jam.” She’d take her bungalow in old Hyde Park any day rather than fight the rush hour nightmare to get to the Gulf beaches. “Do you hear sirens?” “Yeah.” His pupils got bigger as he watched two ambulances streak by them on the way back to Tampa. “Mommy, did they take Dad to the hospital in one of those?”
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Imagining what hideous tortures Gray had endured brought bile up in Andi’s throat, but she swallowed it. For Brett’s sake, she kept her tone light. “They might have, at some point. But I imagine they brought him back from South America on a plane.” “Do you think he can swim?” Brett watched some older kids cavorting on personal water vehicles as their car crept along next to the causeway beach. Andi felt a momentary twinge of guilt. Her unreasonable fear of drowning had kept her from taking her son for outings in the pool and on the beaches, which cut him out of a lot of Florida fun. “I don’t know.” “I bet he can. Lisa in my swimming class can swim real good, and she can’t walk at all, even with crutches.” “You’ll have to ask your dad.” Swimming was only one of many skills Andi had no idea whether Gray had possessed before his ordeal, much less now. “Okay. Look, Mommy. There’s a big dog playing out in the water. Can I have one?” Brett pointed toward a ribbon of sand along the causeway. A happy looking golden retriever trotted out of the murky water toward its master, a stick clenched between its teeth. “No. It wouldn’t be fair, keeping a dog inside all day while you’re at school and I’m working,” Andi told her son for what had to have been the hundredth time. He shot a longing look at the dog. “Maybe Dad has a dog.” “He doesn’t. He has to work, too.” Brett kept quiet for a few minutes, as if deep in thought. Just as Andi was beginning to hope he’d stay silent until the traffic cleared, he turned to her. “You won’t have to work when you and Dad get married. You can stay home, the way Kristine does since she married Tony.” Damn the traffic and the dog and her son’s constant chatter. Between them, her patience was close to the breaking point. “That’s not going to happen, Brett.”
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“But you told me you never got married because you thought Dad was dead. Aren’t you going to marry him now?” Oh, God. It hadn’t been a month since some jerk kid at school had taunted Brett about his mom not having a husband, since she’d spun that tall tale about how she and his dad would have married if only he hadn’t died while protecting their country. Why was it every time she opened her big mouth her words came back to haunt her? “No, Brett.” “Why not?” Someone farther back in the line of westbound cars blasted on his horn. When Andi looked up, she noticed traffic ahead of her had started moving. “I’ve got to watch the road. We’ll talk about this later,” she said as she pulled into the space the car ahead of her had just vacated. “Is it because he got hurt? Because he’s got scars?” “Of course not. Brett, your dad’s the same man he always was, inside. Inside is what counts. Haven’t I always told you that?” “Then why won’t you marry him? Take care of him?” he asked, his plaintive tone tearing at Andi’s heart. She kept her eyes on the road, tried to banish a mental picture of Gray’s face, still compelling in spite of its imperfections. “Why, Mommy?” “Not now, Brett. I have to pay attention to traffic.” The words came out sounding harsher than she’d intended. “Sorry, buddy. You just don’t understand.” How the hell could she tell a seven-year-old kid she’d lied? That he was the product of a glorified three-night stand, not the love match of the century? How could she explain that chances were, if Gray had known about her pregnancy, he probably would have offered no more than financial support—certainly not the cozy family scene she’d painted to salve her son’s wounded pride?
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Good thing lying was just a sin, not a crime. Andi doubted even silver-tongued Tony Landry could put a positive spin on what she’d done to salvage her own ego as much as bolster Brett’s self-image. “Aren’t you glad Dad’s not really dead?” “Of course.” That was the truth. The whole truth. She’d cried for days when his boss had confirmed that he’d been killed…grieved for months. Damn it, she’d missed his sexy grin, his magic touch, the erotic sensation of being under his control, nearly every day since he’d been gone. “Then why don’t you want to marry him now? Moms and dads and kids ought to live together.” Because she and Gray were strangers. Because the last thing Gray would want would be to marry her. Because she wasn’t the woman she’d been eight years ago any more than he was the same man. A thousand becauses Andi couldn’t begin to explain to a child. “Brett, you’re too little to understand.” She shouldn’t have snapped at him and she knew it. After all, this mess was her fault, not his. If only she could distract the kid who already showed promise of becoming as adept at arguing as anyone might expect, knowing both of his parents had chosen the law as their profession. “This is where your dad lives. We’re finally here. I can’t wait to hit the beach. How about you?” Nervous, she popped the trunk latch and opened the door. “Yeah!” Snatching his duffel bag, Brett bounded toward the building. Andi picked up her own weekender and hurried to keep him in sight. Thank God he was still young enough to distract with the prospect of a special treat. With a lot of luck, he’d get so caught up in having fun, he’d forget all about her tall tale about illfated love and the tragedy that had ended it. Recalling that luck had never been her bosom buddy, Andi made a silent prayer that Brett would at least refrain from sharing her lie with Gray before she found
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opportunity to confess it and throw herself at his mercy. She fought to hold her hand steady when she knocked on his door. Gray greeted them on crutches, his smile very different from the scowl he’d worn a week ago. The lines around his mouth seemed less pronounced, too. “Are you ready for us?” Andi asked, shoving her worries to the back of her mind. “Come on in. I’d offer to take your bags, but—” Apparently he was as nervous as she. “We’ll be fine. Come on, Brett.” “Dad, can we go down to the beach now?” Brett asked. “Sure. Put your things in your rooms first.” He gestured down the hallway to the left. “Second and third doors. Hurry and change. We’ll go grab some hot dogs from one of the vendors and watch the sunset.”
***** “You’ve done a great job with him.” Not every single parent, especially a mom whose job was as demanding as hers, could have brought up a kid as obviously welladjusted as their son. Andi looked over at Brett and the sandcastle he was building, out of earshot yet close enough that Gray knew she could run and grab him if he decided to stray too close to the gentle surf. “Yeah. He’s a good kid. I just hope he doesn’t suddenly decide he wants to take a swim.” “The water within a hundred yards of shore’s not more than a few inches deep. He should be okay. I take it you still haven’t conquered your fear of water.” She laughed. “I can’t believe you remember after all this time. No, I’m still petrified of getting into any more water than I can put into my bathtub. Brett’s hoping you’ll be more enthusiastic about water sports than I.” “Swimming’s one of the few sports I can still manage. I have to do it in a pool, though, not out there.”
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“Brett will be happy to hear you like to swim, even if it has to be in the pool. He’s pretty good. Last summer he got his beginner certificate, and I’ve signed him up for more lessons as soon as school lets out.” Andi’s generosity touched Gray. He reached out and clasped her hand. “Thank you for having him. For sharing him with me. Hell, I wish you hadn’t had to wait eight years to hear me tell you that.” He wished he’d had those years with his sturdy son who looked so much like him that it was spooky. Lost years he could never reclaim. “Better late than never.” Andi leaned toward him, speaking loudly above the rising wind. Was it? Gray stared down at himself and at the beach chairs Andi had carried while he dragged himself down here across the deep, dry sand. He’d wanted to sprawl on the beach with Brett and help him build his castle, but if he had, he’d never get back on his feet. “Gray?” “Yeah?” “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” Nothing Andi could do anything about, any more than she could divert the angry looking clouds that hovered on the horizon. “Looks as though a storm’s brewing out there.” Lightning crackled, and more thunder crashed over swelling waves. Andi stood and folded her chair. “Sounds that way, too. Brett, come on. We’d better get inside.” Mother and son wrestled the wind to fold a beach towel while he fiddled with his braces. When Andi called out Gray’s name, he did his best to hurry. They’d have ice cream on sticks, watch one of the G-rated movies Gray had rented on the way home from work. Or maybe watch the storm from the safety of his living room. One small family unit, bound by blood but held apart by time and circumstances beyond their control.
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Would they get over the awkwardness? Would time erase the uneasiness he sensed in Andi every time she looked him in the eye? He couldn’t expect more. Despite their ancient history, they were virtual strangers. Only Brett seemed okay—living proof that kids took changes in stride better than grown-ups. Time moved on, but slowly, the way he moved now even with the wind at his back. He and Andi would take cautious steps toward knowing each other, becoming friends. They’d make it. Their journey would be easier because they had a child to lead the way. Gray hauled himself to his feet and began the arduous trek across windblown sand. The fifty yards might as well have been fifty miles, the way he felt by the time he finally joined Andi and Brett by the elevator.
***** “Brett is down for the count.” It felt good holding his son. “Want me to take him to his room?” In the wheelchair, that was possible, though Gray imagined the awkward motions of his arms on the wheels would waken Brett. “Not necessary. He’s still light enough for me to carry.” Andi bent, pausing above him as she slid her hands under the little boy. The neckline of her T-shirt thing gaped open, providing an arousing view of her breasts. It was all Gray could do to resist lowering his head, nuzzling the alabaster inner curve that defined her cleavage, especially when she brushed his thighs with her knuckles as she lifted their son off his lap. He had to be hallucinating. Her action couldn’t have been less sexual, but his cock was swelling so fast he felt light-headed. When Andi rose, Brett in her arms, she paused a moment. When her soft gaze met his, she smiled. A soft, submissive smile like the ones imprinted in his memories. Her pink tongue darted out of her mouth, wet her lips.
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Gray could no longer deny the sexual tension—or assume any longer that it was all onesided. As though rejoining Gray after carrying Brett to bed were the most natural thing in the world for her to do, Andi came back a few minutes later, curled her legs beneath her neatly rounded ass, and leaned against the sofa cushions. Gray wasn’t proud of the resentment that had welled up in his gut when he watched her carry their son off to bed without apparent effort. He tried to squelch the thought that he should have been the one performing that simple act of putting Brett in bed. Andi looked straight at him, then shot him a nervous looking smile. “Gray, I’ve got to tell you something.” “Shoot.” Her smile wavered. “That’s what I imagine you’ll want to do to me after I tell you Brett thinks we were all but married before you…” “Died?” “Yeah. Some kids at school teased him because he didn’t have a dad. I lied because I thought you were dead and that it wouldn’t hurt anybody for Brett to believe his parents had been in love.” Andi straightened her legs and leaned toward him, as if seeking his understanding. He couldn’t fault her for trying to make their son feel good about himself. “Andi, don’t sweat it.” Gray saw fear in her sea-blue gaze. “You don’t understand. I didn’t just lie. I lied like the proverbial rug. Spun a fairy tale right out of Grimm’s. I won’t deny that at least part of the reason I did it was to make myself look better. “Now Brett thinks we were madly in love, that we’d already planned the wedding before you left for that assignment in hell. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was the surprise result of the best and only extended one-night stand of my life. Hell, I didn’t
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even have the decency to leave my white lie unembellished.” Outside, lightning crackled and thunder boomed, as if to punctuate Andi’s confession. “That’s all?” “Yes, except that I did such a good job lying, Brett’s already suggested we should do it now that you’re back. Marry, that is. I’ve tried to explain how things change. But he may say something to you…” “If he does, I’ll keep your secret.” “Thanks.” Gray watched Andi stretch her long, sexy legs across the couch cushions, observed the shallow rise and fall of her breasts as she breathed in and out. Her lower lip quivered the tiniest bit, tempting him to taste it, use his mouth and tongue to show her he understood what she’d done and why. He could slide his hands down her lithe body, find that sensitive spot at the base of her throat, tweak her incredibly responsive nipples until he had her squirming and begging for his cock… For a moment he considered suggesting they turn her lie into the truth. Then his own reality intruded. He wasn’t the man Andi had spun a fantasy about to their son. He wasn’t even the man she’d met and fallen into bed with in another lifetime. Wasn’t and would never be. Damn it, he shouldn’t have to keep reminding himself every few minutes that he had no business lusting after what he could no longer have. As if in warning, the thunder clapped again, louder this time. Andi shuddered, a strangely sensual motion that contrasted with the fierceness of the storm. “You know, I’m afraid of lightning. Always have been. I wish…” “What do you wish, Andi?” Gray recalled another night and another storm, and how she’d trembled in his arms. They’d been caught out on the beach in a thunderstorm, just before running back up here and creating a tempest of their own.
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“Nothing.” Was she remembering, too? Did she want him to come over there, comfort her? Did she wish he’d go down on his knees and lick her pussy the way he had that night so long ago? Not likely. “Want me to come sit with you, scare the boogie man away?” “Not if you’re going to tease me for being a big baby. I can’t help being scared of storms.” She gestured toward windows cloaked in pale, sheer curtains, but he had the feeling her misgivings were rooted in something much deeper than crackling lightning and raindrops pelting the windowpane. Her T-shirt thing came almost to her ankles. It wasn’t sexy in the least, or at least he hadn’t thought so until she’d given him a glimpse of what lay beneath it. So why did his palms feel damp against the rims of his wheels when he rolled himself over by the sectional? Why did the baggy sweat pants he’d put on after his shower suddenly feel constricting when he transferred himself onto the couch? He knew damn well why. He hadn’t had sex for eight years. And the woman sitting on his couch was the same one who’d starred in all his erotic dreams for eight long years of lonely, solitary nights. There was no way around it. Andi had been the last woman to share his bed and he wasn’t likely to forget it. When thunder crashed again, she trembled. Blood rushed to his groin. He was losing his freaking mind. Andi might have saved her pride by telling Brett he’d been conceived in love. She might even cherish memories of the mind-blowing sex that had resulted in their son’s conception. No way, though, could he imagine her wanting to take up with him where they’d left off. Not now. Not as wild as she liked her sex partners and as unable as he was to meet her sexual challenges. That knowledge didn’t keep him from sliding closer, draping an arm over her shoulders, and stroking the satiny skin beneath his fingers. It didn’t stop him from inhaling her powdery floral scent that he’d never managed to forget. And it did absolutely nothing toward making his erection subside.
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Bolts of red-gold electricity lit the sky. Andi shuddered, burrowed her head against his chest. “Gray?” Her warm breath tickled the skin around his nipple, made him fantasize about tangled sheets and heated bodies. Of long-ago pleasures and futile dreams. “I’m here, Andi.” “You’re not afraid, are you?” “Of the lightning? No.” The storm outside didn’t bother him. It would play itself out and blow across the Florida peninsula into the Atlantic before morning, leaving marginally cooler air in its wake. It was the turmoil in Gray’s brain that was killing him. He had no idea how he could dispel it, or where it would take them if he allowed it to sweep him into uncharted waters. Waters that could suck him under in a whirling vortex, finish off the destruction his captors had left undone. He told himself to move away, put some distance between himself and this impossible temptation, but his body paid him no mind. It craved what he knew rationally couldn’t be. But when Andi lifted her head and looked at him, there was no way in hell he could resist her silent lure.
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Chapter Four
Lightning lit the sky. Thunder boomed louder with every successive lightning bolt. Fierce winds roared. Raindrops pelted the wide expanse of glass that provided a view of white-capped waves breaking along the shore. Andi was terrified. Not as much of the storm outside as of the one brewing inside her. When she met Gray’s gaze she saw raw desire. Or was his expression only mirroring the emotions that were churning inside her? She didn’t know. But she remembered his lips on hers, soft and warm, the pressure of them increasing as he’d taken all she offered and more. His callused hands that had known where and how to touch to lead them both to ecstasy. His big, hard body that had brought her so much pleasure. The taste of him, tangy aftershave tinged with the salt air from the Gulf and his own unique masculine scent. She noticed he used a different aftershave now. Light with a hint of citrus, it was no less enticing than the musky fragrance that still haunted her dreams. This was Brett’s father. The lover who’d ruined her for other men. Still, he was a stranger. A stranger she’d never been able to banish from her dreams. Hadn’t wanted to banish. Didn’t want to banish now. Andi wet her lips. Smiled. Gave Gray a silent invitation she didn’t dare make out loud. Gray lowered his head. Outside the thunder rolled. Instinctively she clasped his shoulders, seeking safe harbor from the storm. When he brushed his lips across her cheek she closed her eyes and savored the way his warm breath bathed her skin.
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She wanted more. A turn of her head brought their lips together. No pressure. Only his mouth lightly on hers, his lips warm velvet she longed to taste. She ran her tongue along the seam of his lips, seeking entry. A moan escaped him, and a fierce shudder passed through his broad shoulders into her fingertips. His tongue met hers, and surprisingly hard, muscular arms surrounded her, dragging her to him until they were breast to chest. Close. So close she felt his heart beating, its tempo strong and fast. Familiar yet exciting. Alive. Her nipples tightened at the contact with his hard, unyielding chest. Her tongue tingled as it met his, hungry for what she’d never found again since the morning when he popped those handcuffs off her wrists, stroked her pussy one last time, and strode out her door to catch a plane to hell. He broke the kiss, burrowing his head between her breasts. Another rumbling groan that came from deep in his chest hinted that he, too, remembered…wanted to renew those memories. As much as she did. His dark-blond hair felt as silky as Brett’s when she tunneled into it with eager fingers. And nudged the string that held his eye patch in place. Andi stilled her fingers, cradled his head in both hands, listened to his ragged breathing against her heart. Could he still make love? It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except this unexpected, incredible reunion. Making up now for eight years of regret, wanting, seeking but never finding the satisfaction she’d discovered with him that one weekend. Even if he couldn’t… He had a mouth. Hands as arousing as they’d ever been. She’d give him affection if he couldn’t accept her passion. In slow motion, he let go his hold on her, leaving her feeling cold, empty. A great sob erupted from somewhere deep inside his chest, the sound seemingly coming straight from his soul as he wrenched his head from her hands and turned away. “Gray, it doesn’t matter if you can’t—”
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He laughed. The sound held no mirth, though. It left Andi as cold she’d been the day she’d heard he was dead. And it made her mad. Real mad. “Make me come, damn it. Make me come like no man’s done since you spoiled me for everybody else. Goddamnit, it’s you who’s making me burn. Not your cock. Not any hard cock that’s handy.” Grabbing her hand, he slammed it against his crotch. “It’s not that I can’t get it up. As you can tell, I manage that just fine. But baby, I remember too. I remember how much you liked giving over control. How you got turned on six ways from Sunday, playing erotic games that required me doing a lot more than getting a hard-on. Things I damn well can’t do anymore. Not that you’d want me to, anyhow, once you got a good look.” He gestured toward the eye patch and the scar that ran along his cheek. “Think this looks bad? You should see what I keep covered up.” “Show me.” She held his gaze as she rubbed her palm suggestively up and down his rock-hard cock. “Show me this.” Damn it, Gray should have known Andi wouldn’t back down from a challenge. Particularly a sexual one. But Christ, he didn’t want to ruin the memories that had helped keep him going for years in that hellhole of a prison. “Leave it alone, baby. Let’s don’t spoil it.” “Okay, don’t show me. Just take me to your bedroom and fuck away the years of loneliness. I’ll close my eyes. Turn off the lights. For all I care the room can be pitchblack. It won’t be any darker than where I’ve been for eight long years, dreaming about a guy who died. Comparing him with other lovers and having them all come up short, so much so that after a while I just gave up and quit trying to find Mr. Right. “Now I just want to come. I want you to come.” She groaned, as though the wanting literally hurt her as she loosened the drawstring on his sweats and slipped her hand inside. Shit, if he fucked her now he damn sure would come up short, as she put it. But if he didn’t, his balls would certainly explode. They tightened painfully when she used
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one slender finger to spread the lubricating fluid that was already oozing out of his eager cock. “Stop, you’re killing me. For God’s sake, Andi. At least let me hold on to the memories.” “Keep them. I’m going to keep mine, too. Just make a few new memories with me now.” Leaning over, she found his lips, took them, darted her tongue inside his mouth, effectively preventing rebuttal. When her fingers curled around his naked shaft, he quit trying to resist. Finally she broke the kiss and looked at him, her expressive eyes glazed with passion and unmistakable insistence. Gray caught her hands and brought them to his lips. “Think about this, Andi. Think about what you’re asking for. And give me at least fifteen minutes to do what I have to do. If you’re sure, you know where my bedroom is. I’ll be there.” With that he hauled himself into his chair and left her staring after him as he made his way down the hall, past the room where their son slept.
***** After he swung himself out of the chair and into bed a few minutes later, Gray stared up at the shiny chrome device that reflected eerie orange and green light from the lightning that still crackled outside his bedroom window. At one time seeing a trapeze swinging over a bed would have had him conjuring up all sorts of arousing scenarios. Now he viewed it as just another testimonial to his disabilities, like the braces and the wheelchair and his scars. He hated them all. Hated the naked fear. Fear that had him lying here ten times more paralyzed than his injuries could account for. Fuck, he hated the thought of Andi taking one look at his damaged body and screaming with horror. What the hell had he been thinking, inviting her…?
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Then she was there beside the bed, backlit by lightning, bending to grasp the hem of her T-shirt. Smiling down at him as she lifted it slowly up her body, revealing firm calves…fit, slender thighs. His cock rose to attention at the sight of her pussy with its neatly trimmed red-gold bush. The pussy that had filled his dreams. The wet pussy. Jesus, he smelled her womanly musk from here. His mouth watered at the thought of tasting her again, and his balls drew up against the base of his cock. When she lifted the T-shirt past small, firm breasts with puckered brownish nipples more prominent now than in his memories, he closed his eyes. In a second or two she’d be looking down at him…seeing not the man he used to be but the one he was now. The man he could barely stand looking at in his bathroom mirrors. Gray suppressed the moan that threatened to erupt from deep in his chest. Held out his arms, fully expecting she’d take a good look at him and run away screaming. But she didn’t. Her sharp intake of breath made his gut clench, but then the bed covers shifted. The mattress dipped with her slight weight when she stretched out beside him, and he felt her soft, almost hesitant touch on his chest…his belly. Her breath, sweet-smelling and moist, followed a path along the jagged scar that ran from just below his chin to a spot about an inch above his right nipple. His fingers itched to tangle in her hair, skim along her satiny skin. He wanted to drag her to him and taste her as she was tasting him. But he still was having trouble processing the fact that she was here, in his bed. Naked. Apparently wanting him damn near as much as he wanted her. “Gray?” His name, spoken softly, huskily, reverberated against his nipple and bathed it with warm sensation. “Yes?” “Do these still hurt?” With one finger, she traced along the network of scar tissue. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
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He covered her hand with his own. “You won’t.” Unless she suddenly decided she’d only thought she wanted sex with a cripple. “Good.” She ringed his nipple with her tongue, sending feelings of urgency he remembered all too well coursing through him, increasing his arousal. “Wanna play?” “God yes.” She’d asked that before, that Friday night so long ago, before unzipping his pants and giving him the best blow job of his life. His cock twitched, as if it remembered, too. Now she hesitated, as though waiting for him to take control. Surrender. She’d reveled in his mastery, wanted the discipline she’d encouraged him to grab and hold over her that long, mind-boggling weekend. Apparently she wanted that now. He lifted her over him, locked his lips with hers, fucked her mouth with his tongue as he skimmed his hands over her ass, her narrow waist, the outer curves of her small, firm breasts. Her fragrant juices bathed his hungry cock as she straddled him. “Yesss, Gray,” she murmured against his lips when they had to come up for air. “Fuck me.” “Put my cock in your cunt, honey. Do it now.” When she lifted up her hips and took him in her hand, he grabbed her ass cheeks, began to lower her onto his throbbing cockhead. Some things hadn’t changed. Her honey wet his belly, reminded him she still got off on being told what to do. Then she stopped in midair. “Where’s a condom?” “Don’t need one.” He pressed down on her ass, found the resistance he’d expected when this first started. Forcing himself to admit another less visible disability made him wince, but it couldn’t be helped. “I don’t have anything catching. And I can’t make you pregnant now,” he ground out, too desperate to be enveloped in her moist heat to care that he’d revealed what he’d never told to another living soul. “Okay.”
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Her cunt was tight and warm and welcoming. The contractions of her inner muscles against his cock made him clench his teeth to make this last. A sudden cramp in his right thigh when he instinctively began to move beneath her made him wince, slowed but didn’t eliminate his urgency to come. “Move, damn it. Fuck me. I…can’t.” The plaintive sound of his own voice made him sick. “Come on, honey, do it for us,” he said, deliberately lightening his tone as he slid his hands to her waist and encouraged her to take the lead the way she never had in his nightly dreams. Slowly, Andi lowered herself onto Gray’s straining erection. Took him deep. Clasped him with her inner muscles the way she’d wanted to do so many times in so many late-night fantasies. He felt so good. So right. So big and strong, pulsing inside her as she writhed above him, seeking to find that special spot that would bring her release. He moaned. Joy or despair? Or a combination of them? She didn’t know. His callused hands steadied her as he guided her grinding hips up and down, harder and faster. Around, as if he knew she sought her G-spot but couldn’t find it. She fucked him until her breath caught in her throat and her pussy clenched around his hard, straining cock. “Stop. I can’t go on any longer. Oh, God, yesss. I’m coming.” As she sank onto him again, waves of pleasure coursed through her, made her convulse around his heated flesh. Then she felt his hot semen spurting, bombarding her womb in short, fast bursts. His cries and hers merged, in perfect harmony as they’d done so long ago.
***** Gray was alive, and he’d finally come home. He felt as though he’d run a marathon even though he’d done nothing but lie flat on his back and let Andi bring him pleasure. Gray lay back, stroking her silken
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shoulders while she slept, her head resting easily against his chest and tickling him with every gentle exhalation. So good. Guilt washed over him when he pictured himself waking up like this every morning to the sight of the one hot, sexy redhead who’d starred in all his erotic fantasies for the past eight years. To having her in the flesh, loving what was left of him. To making a home with her and the son he hadn’t dared to dream he might come home to. What was left of him. It fuckin’ wasn’t enough. He was hardly a dominant male now, and she’d made no secret that was what she needed. But maybe….he’d thought she only wanted closure, but she’d seemed honest about wanting him, not put off by his scars, his damn near useless legs… No. Damn it, he still had some pride. Too much to offer her an open marriage where she’d be free to seek the excitement, the physical dominance he knew from experience that she needed but which he couldn’t provide. Even for the pleasure of sleeping in her embrace and remembering when he was whole. There was enough of the alpha male left in him to want to be the only man to satisfy his woman. Gray inhaled deeply, savoring the smell of sex and sweat that surrounded them. His cock stirred, obviously anticipating a repeat performance that wasn’t going to happen. Not anytime soon. Probably not ever. Andi would most likely come to her senses when she woke up and saw him in daylight. The storm outside had subsided, leaving gentle rain splashing crystal drops against the windowpanes. Andi slept on, her fingers tangling in his chest hair. Contented. More likely she was exhausted from dragging beach chairs and umbrellas and their child while he’d barely managed to haul his sorry ass to and from the beach…carrying the total responsibility for Brett, responsibility he could share only with his checkbook and his time. She had every reason to pass out, because she, not he, had just fucked them both to a shattering climax.
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He was one worthless SOB. Too damn helpless even to get up and run away. Closing his eye, he tried to ignore Andi and go to sleep.
***** “Come on to bed now. No more teasing.” Gray couldn’t remember ever having had so much fun as he’d been having the past night and day with this smart-mouthed redheaded lawyer from the wrong side of Tampa’s social register. Compared with the cool, collected debs his mom kept trying to match him up with, Andi Young came out miles ahead. Compared with any woman he’d ever laid, she came out way ahead, come to think of it. He allowed it just might be his cock doing his thinking when it twitched with anticipation for more erotic games. “Make me.” Naked, hands on hips, she met his gaze, licking her full lips that had just been occupied with sucking his balls in the kitchen while he’d finished off some cold pizza for breakfast. “You’ll be sorry, sassy lady. Behave or I’ll cuff you to the bed and take my belt to your round, pink little ass.” “Promises, promises,” she taunted, but when he grabbed her and tossed her face down on the bed, she inhaled sharply as though the rough treatment really turned her on. “I’ve been a bad girl. Are you gonna spank me or fuck me?” “Both.” He came down behind her, nipping her rounded ass cheeks with his teeth, hard enough to draw a squeal of delight. The several resounding whacks that followed left her butt rosy and warm, imprinted with the shapes of his palms. Her puckered asshole, still glistening from her pussy juices and the KY jelly he’d used to lubricate her, beckoned him. “Want this?” Grasping his cock, he rubbed it along her sopping slit, entering her cunt the slightest bit before nudging her tight little anus and pulling back even as she strained backward, obviously wanting more of him. “Not yet, baby. Have you ever taken a man’s cock up your pretty ass?”
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“No…” She was sassy submission personified. If he could paint, he’d paint a picture of her like this and call it that. With her pretty ass in the air, face down, red-gold hair spread out on the black bed linens, tempting him to pause in taking her and crush the silky strands between his fingers. Hell, he’d even find some way to depict her husky talk about this scenario she apparently found so damn arousing. “But you’ve always wondered how it would feel, haven’t you?” He wet his fingers in her sopping cunt, then pulled out and worked his middle finger past her anal sphincter, found it incredibly tight. Incredibly arousing. “That’s why you came three times while I finger-fucked your ass. Why you kept asking me for more until I had three fingers rammed inside that tight little hole.” “I’ve wondered. Are you going to show me?” “Right now I want to cool off your hot little cunt.” Reaching for the glass dildo he’d taken from the freezer while they had breakfast, he slid it between her glistening labia. Found her cunt and slid the dildo home. “Feel good?” “C-cold.” Her shiver rocked the bed. Rocked him. “You’ll melt it quick enough.” “I want your cock. Please.” He finished rolling on a lubricated condom, then rubbed his cockhead around her quivering asshole. “Want it here, baby?” “Oh, yesss. I’m so damn cold.” “Hold on. I’ll warm you.” On his knees behind her, he positioned his cock and pressed forward. Gently. Carefully. God, her ass was so tight. He’d hurt her. Maybe he shouldn’t… “Oooh. Don’t stop.” “Baby, it’s going to hurt you. I don’t want—”
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“I do.” Levering herself backward, she took his cockhead past her anal sphincter, then stopped. “It hurts, but it feels good, too. I feel like I’m gonna split apart. But like I’m gonna come, too. More. Oh, yesss.” Rocking his hips gently back and forth, he edged more of his cock into her rear passage, spurred on by her little whimpers and moans when his balls lodged between her swollen, wet labia. “Like this?” he asked, giving her more than he thought any woman could take. “Oh, yesss. Oh God.” His cock vibrated in time with her cunt contracting around the dildo. Each wave that hit him as it traveled through the thin wall of flesh that separated her two passages, was fucking incredible. Pressure built in his balls, traveled down his shaft, and shattered in his cockhead when he let go and shot his load. When her tremors ceased he withdrew his cock and the dildo, now as hot as her dripping cunt. Trembling, strangely vulnerable, she held the position he’d set her in until he lay back and dragged her down until they lay on their sides like two big spoons, her quivering ass nestled in the cradle of his hips. A sharp, cramping pain in Gray’s right leg woke him, made him clench his teeth to avoid crying out and waking Andi. Blinking, he saw the trapeze above his head, realized he still lay on his back just as he’d positioned himself hours earlier. Amazingly, Andi had snuggled up close to his decimated right side. The incredible sex they’d just enjoyed had only been a dream. His reality was the trapeze…and passive fucking by any woman kind enough to accommodate him. Shit, his captors might just as well have finished him off. “Daddy? Where’s Mommy?” Brett’s plaintive voice outside his bedroom door reminded Gray why he was glad he didn’t die. He ignored the muscle still spasming in his thigh and dragged the covers up. “In here, son.”
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Chapter Five
“Mommy? Daddy?” “Yeah.” The look of pure delight on Brett’s face when he looked down at Gray and Andi made Gray recall his conversation with Andi last night about the little boy’s expectations. “Can I go watch cartoons?” Brett asked. “Uh–sure. You want me to come turn on the TV?” How the hell he was going to manage that without giving Brett an eyeful he didn’t know, but damn it, Gray didn’t want to disturb Andi’s sleep. And he really didn’t want his son to think him incapable of performing the simplest of physical tasks. Brett shook his head. “I can do it. I watched you last night. You and Mommy sleep in. That’s what mommies and daddies do on weekends. Stay in bed and cuddle up like you’re doing now. Tony told me all about mommies and daddies needing private time when I stayed with him and Kristine. They’re going to have a baby real soon.” Score another one for Landry. Now he owed his boss for more than his job and the careful tutelage he’d been receiving during the first week of his career as a criminal defense attorney. “May I?” “Yeah, sure. If you’re hungry, there’s a box of doughnuts on the kitchen table. Milk and juice are in the refrigerator. Your mom and I will join you in a little while.” After they had a serious talk. Gray pasted a smile on his face and watched Brett bound out of the room and down the hall toward the living room.
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Andi stirred when he started to maneuver toward the edge of the bed. Snuggling closer, she tangled her legs with his, effectively pinning him where he lay. “Where’s my good-morning kiss?” He levered himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. “Close your eyes.” “Why?” “Indulge me.” Her reddish-brown eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks as he leaned down and brushed his lips across hers. “That was no kiss,” she said, cupping her hands behind his head and taking his mouth the way a lover would. “Andi,” he said when she came up for air. “Hmmm?” She stretched, like a contented kitten might. “Brett saw us.” “When?” “A few minutes ago. He came in to ask if he could go in the living room and watch cartoons.” Near-panic in her aqua gaze, she looked down at their entwined bodies. “At least we were under the covers.” “Barely. I managed to jerk them up as he was opening the bedroom door.” She wrinkled her brow, then grinned. “Well, next time we won’t risk giving him a shock. We’ll just have to lock the door.” Next time? Gray couldn’t believe she said that. After seeing him in broad daylight, she couldn’t help but know he was anything but the guy who’d fucked her brains out in another lifetime. She couldn’t possibly miss his scars or ignore his useless legs. Did she love her son—his, too, he reminded himself—so much she’d saddle herself with a cripple just to give the boy what he apparently expected? Well, if she did, then so did he. “Want to make it legal?” he asked lightly, wondering how he’d survive when she realized she’d be sentencing herself to plain
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vanilla sex with a partner who could barely get around and looked too fucking much like Frankenstein’s monster. “You mean it?” “Wouldn’t have asked you if I weren’t willing. After all, there’s no question that I’d be getting the best of the bargain.” He forced a grin, tried to swallow the fear that threatened to choke off his ability to speak…think. Damn it, he couldn’t figure out whether he was scared shitless she’d say yes—or desperately afraid she’d say no. What had gotten into him? What he ought to be doing was standing back, letting her go so she could find a man who could give her everything he couldn’t. It wasn’t as if they’d had time to fall in love last night or during that fantasy weekend a lifetime ago. Hell, that was bullshit. He’d held on to her for eight long years, spent nights in her arms, in his dreams. He might be fucking selfish but he wasn’t letting her go without a fight. Andi reached up and stroked his scarred cheek, her fingers trembling. Her eyes glistened with tears—and something else. Affection? Hope? Gray imagined it probably was something akin to horror. Then she smiled. “I’ll marry you if you’re sure that’s what you want. But it damn well will be real, including regular sex. I’ve done mostly without for eight long years. It’s pretty hard to do the dating scene when you’ve got a job and a child to take care of, not to mention that you were a damn hard act for any man to follow. If we’re going to marry, I’m not about to let you shrink away from me. Or get by with lights out and no touching.” Gray swallowed hard. “If you can stand looking at me, then I suppose I can live with letting you look your fill. I know I like you touching me any way you want to. But I remember you liked your sex hot and you liked it rough. The fucking you got last night pretty much exhausted my entire repertoire. If you want it, I’m certainly not going to turn it down, because baby…I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with nothing but memories of what your pussy feels like around my cock.”
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“All right. Come on. Show me what you think will have me screaming in terror.” Sitting up, Andi started to drag the covers down. He had to give her credit. She didn’t scream, and she didn’t bolt from the bed and run. Her gaze raked his legs, lingered briefly on the scars that crisscrossed the right side of his trunk, and settled on the ugliest scar of all—the one he hid under the eye patch. “Don’t you ever take it off?” she asked. “To bathe. And to shave. Trust me, you don’t want to see what’s underneath it.” Very gently, she touched the patch. “Does it hurt?” “Sometimes. Not as much as it did for years, until a surgeon cleaned up the mess as best he could.” When she slid a finger under the elastic, he reached up and pulled her hand away. “I told you, you don’t want to go there. What you should want to do before committing yourself to living with me is watch what I have to do to get mobile. And get a good look at my back.” Reaching up, he grabbed the trapeze and heaved himself into a sitting position. “Take a look. Do you want a man they whipped like a dog every day for months before one of the bastards gouged his eye out?” Raised scars, some as thick as Andi’s finger, took her attention from bulging biceps and triceps as powerful-looking as she remembered. The healed welts striped his back from shoulders to ass. Evidence of old infection marred pale skin she remembered being smooth, tanned, and fit. “They caused the back injury by doing this, didn’t they?” Gray nodded. “It just got exacerbated by the fall I told Brett about. There’s a cyst that formed after one of the beatings. It’s pressing on the spinal column and interfering with the nerves that make my legs work. The spinal cord itself is intact, or so they tell me. I opted not to have the cyst removed because there’s a substantial risk that the surgery might leave me a paraplegic, for real.”
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He grabbed the bar again and swung himself into the wheelchair beside the bed. “Think you can stand it, baby? Living with a wreck of a guy like me? “ “I can take it. Your scars bother you a hell of a lot worse than they bother me, baby. Now let’s put on some clothes and go see what our son is doing.”
***** “He’s thrilled,” Andi said that night after they left Brett nodding off to sleep in Gray’s guest room. “Thank you.” Gray smiled. “I think I’m the one who ought to be thanking you. I never dreamed when I decided to come home that I’d find myself a ready-made family. One I’d actually taken part in creating. You ready to clue me in on what to do to stay on judges’ good sides?” “Sure, though I don’t know why I should be helping the competition.” “So I don’t embarrass you, maybe?” His lopsided grin made her think of things far more fun to do than talk about the Hillsborough County circuit court judges and their eccentricities. “There is that. Come on, let’s snuggle up on the sofa and I’ll give you some pointers.” A very few pointers. What Andi wanted was to get close to Gray, not talk about judges or cases or anything but them. She wanted to show him…wipe away his obvious worry that she found him less than he’d been before. She needed to make him realize she found him more than the hot young DEA operative who’d known every move…how to use his agile mind and powerful body to turn her every way but loose. More than the cocky, self-assured lover who’d promised to call her when he came home. Much, much more. The Gray Syzmanski she’d fallen in lust with had grown up…aged like fine wine. Mellowed. The old Gray wouldn’t have wanted to spend an entire day entertaining his son, and he wouldn’t have gotten all choked up over the
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beauty of a spectacular sunset. Though he still made her pussy water the way her mouth did at the sight of fine, imported chocolate, now he also touched her heart. As she watched his expression darken while he fought to unlock his braces, Andi realized she had a tough, tough job ahead if she wanted to win his love. Tougher than any case she’d ever argued. But more important, too. For herself. For him. And for their little boy.
***** What the hell had she gotten herself into? Andi’s family thought she was nuts. Her boss and most of her coworkers thought she’d taken leave of her senses. And sometimes when she thought about it, she was none too sure they weren’t absolutely right. It had seemed so simple to say yes to Gray’s offhand proposal two weeks ago, so right to tell Brett they were getting married. Wrong. Today she’d had to listen to her boss’s tirade. Harper couldn’t have cared less if she married Godzilla so long as he didn’t work for Winston Roe. Gray did, however, which meant she wouldn’t be allowed to prosecute anybody that any of that firm’s lawyers was defending. So far Harper had jerked her off three meaty cases she’d been looking forward to trying. Too bad Landry and his team’s track record was so good that it attracted the cream of the well-heeled criminal population. Her parents and siblings had reminded her how Gray’s mother had treated her before Brett was born. They’d hinted—hell, they’d said it flat-out—that the only reason the blue-blooded bastard was willing to marry her now was because no one else would be likely to have him, considering the extent of his disabilities. They’d shrieked when she told them they’d be living in the house his mother had left him, scoffed at the idea that her bungalow was too small for them to modify to fit Gray’s special needs. Andi
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hadn’t been too happy about moving to Gray’s childhood home, either, but it would beat commuting every day from the beachfront condo. The huge diamond solitaire Gray had put on her finger last weekend winked up at her, mocking her. Reminding her he might be a lowly associate at Winston Roe for the moment, but he came from big Tampa money, big society. Reminding her she’d first seen it on his mother’s finger, catching sunlight when the woman had stood in the doorway of that big house and told Andi very politely to fuck off. Now, following the day from hell, she had to grit her teeth and go with Gray to decide what they needed to buy to make that white elephant monstrosity on Bayshore Drive seem like home. Home, indeed. The farthest she’d been inside it before yesterday had been the elegant entry foyer, where she’d stood briefly eight years ago. Closing her briefcase, Andi left her office and hurried downstairs to meet the man she was going to marry in three more days.
***** A little while later Andi let out a sigh as she stood with Gray beneath the chandelier in that foyer. The only thing that made all the hassle worthwhile was Brett. The news that Andi and Gray were marrying had made his face light up with joy. He thought living in Gray’s big house would be neat, probably because he was fascinated by the huge swimming pool and a curved staircase where Gray had told him he used to slide down when his parents hadn’t been looking. “I’d never imagined myself living here, but it will be more convenient than commuting from the beach, and Brett won’t have to change schools,” Gray said. Brett was staying overnight with her parents, so today they were alone in the big, pretentious house. As if he sensed her discomfort, he squeezed her hand. “You can change anything you don’t like.”
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“Including that?” she asked, glancing toward the huge painting of his mother that hung above the living room fireplace. “It’s coming down as soon as we get the workers in here. If you like, we’ll have one done of you to hang in its place.” “No thanks. Maybe we can find a nice landscape. Unless you want a portrait of yourself.” “Sure. A nude. That would be the talk of Tampa, for sure.” Gray laughed, obviously more comfortable than she in the mansion that had been in his mother’s family since the early nineteen hundreds. “Come on, we need to pick out a bedroom.” And try it out? Andi could barely wait to have sex with Mrs. Syzmanski’s son in this mausoleum the woman had tossed her out of. Payback for the old bat, even though she was dead. “Okay. Lead on.” The master suite was obviously out, since Gray had mentioned that it occupied most of the second floor. Good. She had no desire to sleep in the same room where his mother had lived and presumably died. Andi paced her steps to match Gray’s as they moved along a corridor lined with what she supposed had once been children’s or servants’ rooms. “Here’s the room I thought we’d like,” he told her, standing aside and letting her enter a large room dappled with late afternoon sunshine. “It’s got a door to the patio and pool. And a bathroom big enough to install rails and such.” “Wanna try out the bed?” It was big and inviting, with a flowered coverlet and fat pillows stuffed into matching bolsters. Crazy. The house had been empty since Gray’s mother died, but it looked as though someone came and cleaned it every week. Andi figured somebody probably did. Gray shot a dubious look at the king-size bed. “I’m game if you are. Ever fuck a guy with leg braces?” “Have you forgotten so soon?” If it was the last thing Andi did, she’d get them past this awkwardness, show Gray she wanted him no matter what or how. Moving next to
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him, she ran her hand down his fly, cupped his balls through the fine material of his linen slacks. Gray leaned harder on his crutches, moaned at her touch. “No, baby, I haven’t forgotten. Jesus, I wish I could hold you.” “Lean on me.” “I’m too damn heavy for you to hold up. Spontaneous sex just isn’t going to happen.” His muscles tensed when she ran her palm along the length of his cock. “Let me go sit on the bed and do what I have to do. Meanwhile, you can strip off your lawyer suit and get naked for me.” “You want to watch me strip?” “Oh, yeah. I’m just going to ditch the essentials, myself.” His gaze burning her as she slipped off her jacket and skirt, he balanced on his crutches and fumbled to loosen his belt and unzip his pants. “Damn. Come here and help me get these off. My belt’s caught on one of the braces.” His enthusiasm had definitely taken a hit. Andi guessed it pained him to have to ask for her help, but she pretended not to notice when she slid down his boxer shorts to join his pants around his ankles. “Sit down and I’ll get these off. Don’t want us going to the restaurant later with you looking all wrinkled.” “All right.” Gray couldn’t help noticing how sexy Andi looked in her silky slip and high heels. Too damn sexy to be taking the pants off a cripple. “Maybe this isn’t a great idea.” “Oh, I think it is.” Rising gracefully, she stood in front of him and played with his cock until it stood at attention again. His balls tightened when she cupped them in both hands. “Gray, do the braces need to come off?” “Not unless they bother you. But you’ve still got on too many clothes.” She smiled and slid her hands back up his cock, using a finger to spread the drop of lubrication at its tip. “What do you want off?”
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Everything. No. He’d like her to leave on those damn high heels and… “Are those pantyhose?” “Thigh-highs. I was thinking about coming here with you this morning when I put them on. And guess what? I’m not wearing any panties.” More blood slammed into his cock. “Then leave ‘em on. Shoes, too. Just get rid of this slip and come straddle my lap so I can suck your nipples.” Gray rubbed his fingers over her breasts, her belly. God, the silky stuff felt so soft. So sexy. How the fuck— “But I wanted to suck your cock.” She pouted, but she did as he’d asked. After slipping the silky confection down her body, she unhooked her bra. Her nipples stuck out in hard little points, as if they craved his tongue…his teeth. His mouth watered. “Later, baby. Right now I want…” He wanted to toss her on her back and suck her cunt, and then fuck her until this time tomorrow, but for him that was only fantasy. “…I want you to climb on my cock and take a ride while I snack on your pretty, pretty breasts.” “Okay.” She started to straddle him, then stopped and studied the padded black velcro strips that held the braces to his thighs. “I don’t want to hurt you.” “You won’t.” The only thing that hurt was not being able to give her what he knew she wanted. What he wanted, too. Then her hot, wet cunt began to suck him in. It felt incredible. So incredible he forgot his regrets. His doubts. “Oh, yeah. You have no idea how it makes me feel, knowing your pussy’s wet for me.” He lowered his head, brushed a rosy, erect nipple with his tongue. Brushed her firm silk-clad thighs with his hands. The play of her muscles when she rose and fell like the tide, slow and shallow, then deeper until his balls rested in her swollen slit, fascinated him. Fluid, effortless motion he could duplicate only with the help of machines. Her whimpers of pleasure when he took her nipple between his teeth and suckled her like a baby banished thought, left him only with feeling. The sucking pressure of her cunt on his cock, the smooth texture of her breast against his lips, the lace of her thighhighs against his seeking fingertips.
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She smelled good, like the white jasmine that twined around the patio doors. Better, mingled with her woman’s musk, a smell nearly forgotten during his captivity. Gray let go her nipple, sank his teeth gently into the pale flesh at the base of her throat, tasting, remembering. Trying to ignore the overwhelming need to come. Had to make this good for her, too. He slid a hand between them, beyond her slick, hot labia. Tangling his fingers in her damp red-gold pubic curls, he remembered… “You promised me you’d shave your pussy for me when I came home.” He found her swollen clit, dreamed of tasting it as he worried it between his thumb and forefinger. “Mmmm. Sorry. I forgot. But I’ll tell you something now. Be good to me like this, big guy, and I will. Oh, yesss,” she hissed when he increased the pressure and lined open-mouthed kisses up her neck, along her jaw, her earlobe. She clamped down on his cock with her incredible, creamy cunt. If she didn’t stop it, this would be over. And Gray desperately wanted it to last. “Careful or you’ll make me come.” “That’s the general idea. Feel good?” Once again, she sank on him all the way to his balls and squeezed his cock with what felt like a velvet vise. “Tell me what you want, how you want it.” With his free hand, he cupped her breast while he rubbed her clit and tried to recall the Preamble to the Constitution. “I want to get up, back your pretty ass against the wall, and fuck you until we’re both cross-eyed. But that’s not about to happen. Baby, all I can reasonably expect is to help you come. What can I do?” “You’re doing great. All I need to come is your big, hard cock in my pussy. Everything else is gravy. Oh, yesss,” she whimpered as she raised up and impaled herself on him once again. “You found my G-spot.” Her cunt clenched and spasmed around his cock, and her cream flowed, soaking his balls. When she clamped her teeth into his shoulder, his control slipped. Clutching her
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ass cheeks, he held her to him and shot his load, jet after jet of scalding semen. Useless except for the release it brought. As he held Andi, both of them trembling in the aftermath of climax, Gray wondered why whenever he came, he regretted his sterility—when it rarely crossed his mind at other times.
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Chapter Six
Andi had felt Gray’s mental withdrawal almost as soon as they came off the simultaneous orgasms that left both of them drained—her emotionally as well as physically. Damn it, there had to be a way she could help him get back his confidence— make him believe the truth: that she found him as hot, as sexy, and as desirable now as she ever had. While he’d struggled to put his pants back on, Gray had been close to apologetic for having given her as mind-bending a climax as she’d ever had. Afterward when they met Sandra, Rocky, Kristine and Tony at Bern’s for dinner, he hardly said a word. If it hadn’t been for the others arguing over whether they should take a weekend honeymoon cruise aboard Rocky’s Neptune’s Dungeon or Tony’s smaller but more luxurious Miss Trial, Andi imagined the only sounds at their table would have been the requisite oohs and ahs over the five-star restaurant’s trademark steaks. “So what’s it going to be?” Tony asked after the waiter had cleared the table. “Luxury or the pleasure palace everybody who’s ever been there whispers about?” Andi wasn’t going to make that choice. “Gray?” “We’d better stay on dry land, guys. Andi’s scared of the water.” Rocky shot Sandra a knowing grin. “Sandy and I have plenty of fun aboard the Dungeon without even leaving the dock. It’s a good escape from Rocky Junior, and we’re still close by enough to get to him if he needs us.” Andi had heard rumors—stories that Neptune’s Dungeon was just that, an imaginatively equipped BDSM playground for the highly respected chief of detectives and her ex-boss, who apparently wasn’t quite as tightly wound up as she’d always seemed at work. Maybe…
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No. Though Gray had definitely been a sexual dominant eight years ago, he hadn’t given her any indication he was into leather and chains, or even especially enamored of any but the most basic sorts of sex toys. Besides, a dom/submissive relationship was a lot more emotional than physical—and she had no desire to place emphasis on the physical acts they could and couldn’t perform. Gray did that enough for both of them. Relying on slings and dungeon toys to enhance their pleasure would only play up to Gray’s belief that he somehow was less a man than he’d been before his injuries. If only she could persuade him it made her incredibly hot and wet to know he wanted her to straddle him and fuck him while he enjoyed her breasts…that she loved knowing her lace-topped thigh-highs turned him on. Those stockings hugged her thighs now, reminding her how good it had felt to impale herself on his huge, hard cock. Andi let out an audible sigh. “Thanks, guys, but I think we’ll opt for a long weekend at Gray’s condo on the beach,” she said, mentally sorting through sex scenarios where Gray could feel he was in control. “All right, Gray?” He squeezed her hand, as if grateful she’d saved him the chore of turning down their friends’ kind offers. “Sure. That’s fine with me.” “Who’s taking care of Brett?” Kristine asked. “My brother Joe and his wife. I’d have asked you, but—” “Our little guy could come along just about any minute,” Tony concluded for her, laughing. Rocky grinned. “Just wait. You won’t get any sleep for months if he’s like Junior. “ “I don’t care. I’m grooming Gray to take on some of my trial load so I’ll have more time for Krissie and the baby.” Suddenly Gray’s face contorted, as though he were in pain. “Gray?” Andi murmured. “What’s wrong?” “A cramp. It’s all right now,” he said, his tone not encouraging more questions.
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A few minutes later, as they made their way to Gray’s car, he asked, “Why did you arrange to leave Brett with your brother?” Furious that he’d even asked, Andi slid behind the wheel and stuck the key in the ignition. When Gray closed the passenger door, she looked at him. “You may be marrying me to give our son a complete family, but believe me, I expect a honeymoon to remember. Translate that to sex, fun and games all day and all night for at least the three days before we have to settle down in our jobs and your house. Honeymoons and seven-year-old kids don’t mix. Not in my book. For three whole days, whether you like it or not, your cock’s going to be my cock.” “Andi, you don’t have to pretend you like what precious little I can do for you now.” “Who’s pretending?” His wry laugh filled the generous space inside the big car. “You are, baby, if you’ve deceived yourself into believing life with me’s going to be one long happy fuckfest.” “You seem to manage fucking just fine. Besides, there are other things we can do that will make us both feel good. Or are you so damned determined to dwell on what you can’t do to consider what you can? No, don’t answer that, because I’m going to use those three days to show you, and I don’t need our son underfoot.” The purr of the car’s powerful engine when she turned the key in the ignition cut off Gray’s protest.
***** None of the arguments Gray had proffered changed Andi’s mind. Now, on Friday afternoon after the docket had been cleared, he sat next to Tony behind the defense table in Judge Carlson’s courtroom, waiting not for a trial to commence but for a wedding to begin. His wedding. Not what Mother would have wanted, but the scene
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worked fine for him. Thank God Andi hadn’t opted for pomp and circumstance and a reception for a thousand at the yacht club. He hadn’t had to drag himself to an altar or stand on unsteady feet in front of an army of guests while a dozen bridesmaids preceded his blushing bride down a redcarpeted aisle. And no one would gawk at his painful progress afterward, when he’d walk Andi outside not to a limo but to his specially equipped sedan. Something, indeed, for which he could be grateful. Too bad they weren’t alone with the requisite two witnesses. Winston Roe’s criminal division had come out in force, and Gray noticed a good many of Andi’s coworkers drifting in. Probably had late court appearances, Gray imagined, noting that Hank Ehlers, Tony’s personal assistant, was just getting here from the arraignments he’d been handling for the firm earlier this afternoon. Gray’s breath caught when he saw Andi come in with Brett and her brother Joe. Jesus, she deserved a whole man if any woman did. For a minute he felt guilty for consigning her to living with him, for playing on her love for their son. Hell, it was her own fault she was marrying him. She sure as fuck shouldn’t be harboring any illusions. Not now, after he’d sat her down and explained in more detail than she’d wanted to hear—hell, more detail than he’d needed to know but the docs had told him anyhow—about his injuries and his prognosis. And here she was, looking too damn good for a cripple like him, with a bright smile on her lips and the prettiest handful of pastel colored flowers he’d ever seen clutched in her hands. He groaned. Damn it, he hadn’t even thought to order her a bouquet. “Who…? Damn it, I should have remembered.” Gray didn’t like the idea that somebody else had thought of a detail he should have taken care of, himself. “I had Michelle take care of sending her flowers, turkey,” Tony said. “Figured you’d forget about them.” “Thanks.” He’d have to remember to do something nice for Tony’s secretary next week.
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Gray’s eye focused on his bride: the slender, sexy as hell redhead who’d figured in his futile fantasies…who’d given him a son and offered him a future he’d never dared to imagine since glimpsing himself in a mirror once he got back to civilization. Her pale green suit hit her gorgeous legs mid-thigh, and the neckline of the jacket dipped low enough to give him a tantalizing view of the inner curves of her firm breasts. And a glimpse of pale green lace. His cock twitched. Why was it, he wondered, that it hadn’t gotten the message that this marriage was for his son, not his gonads? The words they exchanged were simple. Yes, he took her for better or worse. She took him in sickness and in health, a vow that should have scared her shitless but apparently didn’t. The kiss that sealed the vows they’d made left him shaking, the imprint of her soft, sensual lips not only on his mouth but in his soul. His mind on overload, Gray greeted the friends who’d come to share the moment and offer good wishes…but all he could think about was the three days stretching out in front of him. Two long days and three interminable nights when his bride had vowed they’d devote twenty-four/seven to sexual fun and games. An eternity during which she’d learn the hard way just how little he could do other than lie on his back and let her fuck him. Once they’d taken leave of their friends, Andi snuggled up beside him in the car and rested her hand suggestively on his crotch. A tear tickled his cheek as it made its way from his eye to his stubbled jaw. Her brash declaration, “Your cock is my cock,” rang in his ears as he drove over the causeway to the condo where this whole thing had begun eight years ago.
***** The silence that hung between them in Gray’s condo was driving Andi quietly insane despite the sensual sounds of background music that surrounded them from all directions. After setting the basket of sex toys she’d bought on a table beside an overstuffed chair, she fished out several fat, fragrant candles and set them on the mantel.
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She met Gray’s questioning gaze. “Tell me what you want.” “Baby, this cozy honeymoon was your idea. You tell me.” Gray stood, his arm muscles bulging when he leaned on his forearm crutches. So far all he’d done was sink onto the sofa in front of a window that overlooked the Gulf, take off his jacket, loosen his tie, and fold back the sleeves of his pale-blue shirt. Now, though, he began a painfully slow trek across the living room floor. “I want you to tell me what turns you on,” Andi said when he stopped and looked at her with what she hoped was longing…passion…desire for more than a physical release. “You. Your pretty face. Your soft, soft skin. The elusive bit of lace inside your suit jacket that shows when you move in just the right direction. The curve of your ass and the dip of your waistline where a man could lift you up and…” His brows knit together, and the look on his face bespoke pure pain. “…hell, Andi, you got yourself one lousy bargain. I couldn’t carry you over the threshold if I tried.” She wanted to throttle him for spoiling the mood with his self-pity, but she gritted her teeth and let the remark pass. When she spoke, she used a deliberately seductive tone. “Do you want to see more of this?” She unbuttoned the top button of her suit jacket to reveal more of the lace demi-bra he’d mentioned, pasting on what she hoped would pass for a sexy come-on-to-me smile. He groaned, but his gaze held steady on her fingers as she loosened another button, then a third one. When the jacket fell open, his moan was unmistakable. “Yeah, baby. I want to see it all.” “Then tell me. Damn it, tell me what to do.” If only he could get it through his thick head that he could turn her on as much with words as with action. “Get rid of the jacket.” He sat, not on the sofa where they’d fucked the first time, but on a matching overstuffed chair. His crutches clattered to the floor, the sound muted by the thick, plush carpeting. “Give me a show I’ll remember when this is over and done. Be my own private stripper.”
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His self-deprecating grin took the edge off. Andi chose to interpret it as the first sign that the Alpha male in him was rising up to fight the feelings of inadequacy that now lay at the forefront of his personality. “Yes, Master.” Only half teasing, she let the jacket slide down her arms and onto the floor on top of one of his crutch tips. “Help me here. What next?” “The skirt. Unzip it slow and easy. Make me wait to see what’s underneath. Think about how hard I’m getting, just visualizing your pretty pussy. Are you getting wet, creaming that lacy green thong I bet matches your bra?” She was now. Listening to him tell her what he wanted in that deep, mellow voice had her nipples hard and aching, her honey flowing. The thin strip of silk and lace that chafed her slit was sopping wet. Her fingers trembling, Andi unfastened her skirt and let down the zipper inch by inch. A little shimmy of her hips to the rhythm of a slow, sensual jazz piece on the stereo sent the silk shantung fabric slithering down her thighs and calves. Gray’s sharp intake of breath hinted that he liked the garter belt she’d bought to match the bra and thong. A lot. “You shaved your pussy.” “I promised I would.” She ran a finger under the sheer silk thong, pulled it aside to give him a better view of her pale, smooth mound that she’d had it waxed at a salon the day before yesterday for his pleasure. Andi glanced at his lap, smiled at the impressive bulge pressing against the lightweight wool of his suit pants. “Will you help me keep it smooth?” “Oh, yeah, baby. Slide that soaked thong down your gorgeous legs and turn around. Show me your round, firm ass. Think about me putting my cock there. Or in your pussy. Imagine me ramming it down your throat. Picture me coming in you, spurting until you think it’s never going to stop.” “Yesss. Whatever you want.” Incredibly aroused at his soft-spoken order, Andi turned. Wanting to give him a show he’d never forget, she braced her feet apart—far enough apart that when she bent over, Gray couldn’t help getting a good look at her
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silky, dripping slit. Her mouth watered at the thought of taking his huge, pulsating cock and sucking him dry…having him invade every orifice, plunder every square inch of her body with his hands and mouth and… “Your clit is so swollen. So wet, it glistens in the light. Take off your bra and play with your breasts for me. Pretend it’s my hands cupping them, my fingers tugging those rosy, hard nipples until they send shards of sensation straight to your hot little cunt. That’s it.” His sharp intake of breath revealed he wasn’t as detached as he wanted to appear. “Now turn around. I want to see your face.” Andi whimpered. God but he was driving her to the edge. Driving her to forget about submitting. To take control, crawl onto his lap and impale herself on his hard, male shaft. When she turned and saw he’d freed his sex, she could barely restrain herself from ignoring his order and going on her knees. She wanted desperately to pay homage to his huge, gorgeous cock. To taste the creamy drop of lubrication lodged in its dimpled slit. She longed to roll his testicles between her palms, experience the velvety softness of his scrotum. With one powerful hand he stroked his cock, taunting her. Making her crazy to make him take her now. “Do it. Play with your nipples. Spread your legs apart so I can watch your honey flow. But don’t come yet.” Her pussy twitched and gushed more slick, hot liquid down the insides of her thighs to wet the tops of her silk stockings. Her cheeks grew hot—as hot as the rest of her. She couldn’t take her eyes off his cock. Her cock now. Yet letting her touch him now apparently wasn’t in his game plan. His searing, one-eyed gaze enthralled her, made her pussy clench and spasm. Her clit throbbed, hardening to a painful bundle of nerves under his stoic scrutiny. She pinched her nipples harder, imagining it was his callused fingers on her flesh and welcoming the pain that took her mind off her need to come. “I
want
to
touch
you,
looking…wanting…needing…
too,”
she
murmured,
her
mouth
dry
from
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“Later, baby. Now I want to watch you come. Touch your clit and come for me.” Mindless, she slid one hand down her body, over her belly, over the unaccustomed smoothness of her mound, to her swollen, sopping labia. Her palm brushed her pouting clit, sent undulating shock waves straight to her womb. She spread her labia, brushed her clit fully, pinched it gently between her thumb and finger while she tugged at first one aching nipple then the other. “Let go. You’re on the edge. That’s right. Pretend it’s my fingers stroking you. My tongue brushing your clit. Imagine it’s my tongue fucking your cunt, priming it for my cock. Jesus, I’m about to burst and I haven’t even touched you. I want you shaking like a leaf before you come here and let me feed you my cock.” His husky, breathy voice hinted at the effort it took him to hold back. “Yesss. Ohmigod, I’m coming.” The room spun, a kaleidoscope of color and wave after wave of sensation washed over her and…oh, yesss. Her pussy spasmed wildly. Her clit twitched and swelled and fed her climax. “Do you have any idea how fuckin’ beautiful you are when you come?”
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Chapter Seven
Gray’s cock throbbed and his balls felt as though they’d explode. Watching Andi sway on her spike-heeled pumps, her quivering legs encased in pale stockings held up by mint-green suspenders that framed her satiny cunt had him shaking with the effort of holding back. God, she looked like an ancient fertility goddess, with her eyes closed and mouth slack as she cupped her smooth-shaven mound with one hand and reached out to him with the other. God, but his wife was one hot woman. Yeah. Andi was his wife now. All he could do was pray she wasn’t too hot for him to handle. The smell of sex surrounded him, made him want to taste her, bury his face between her firm, strong legs and drink his fill of her honey. Just imagining those full, sensual lips surrounding his cock, her tongue licking his cockhead had him rock-hard. Dripping lubrication onto his belly, moistening his hand when he stroked the length of his aching shaft. He couldn’t wait any longer. Had to touch her, taste her. Shove his cock up to the balls in her tight, creamy cunt, fuck her until he couldn’t fuck her any longer, forget for a little while that he wasn’t the man he used to be. “Come here, baby.” She took a few effortless steps and stood before him, legs braced on either side of his knees as though in invitation. The smell of her come filled his nostrils, made him crazy. Gray bent forward and lowered his head, licking the baby-soft skin of her mound before finding her swollen clit and worrying it between his teeth before grasping her rounded butt cheeks, drawing her closer, and blowing gently on her slick, swollen labia. When he reached around her hip and slipped his hand between her legs, he found her ass was slick with her cream. The puckered opening drew up when he applied
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pressure with his finger, the way he remembered from so long ago. “You’ve still got a horny little ass, don’t you?” Gently he inserted a finger, working it slowly past her tight anal sphincter until it gave way and let him in. “Want more?” She whimpered, but the way she wiggled her ass encouraged him to sink another finger inside her. He wasn’t going to last much longer, not with her cunt dripping its slick, fragrant honey on his arm. Had to fuck her now or it would be too late. “Sit on my lap and ease my cock inside your hot little pussy.” God, how he wished he could toss her down on the carpet, wrap her legs around his neck and take her. He’d give anything if he could take her, the way she was taking him, only harder. She moved carefully, taking his hand with her as she impaled herself. Her wet heat scalded his balls once she’d taken his full length inside her slick, hot cunt, stretching her. He wiggled his fingers inside her ass, setting off vibrations through the thin tissue barrier that separated the two tight holes. “It feels so good. God I’ve never felt so full.” He lifted his hips, arched to give her more. Frustrated by the limited range of motion afforded by his position as well as the heavy braces on his legs, he felt like screaming. Instead, he finger-fucked her ass harder, bit down on the tender spot where her throat met her shoulder. “Fuck me, baby. Ride me. Come again for me. Damn it, make me forget I can’t do it for you.” “You did it for me. You’re doing it now.” Bracing her hands on his shoulders, Andi levered herself up, then sank back on his cock, over and over. The tight walls of her cunt surrounded him, sucked him in deeper with each stroke. Jesus, he’d never expected to feel so good again. “Like that. Yeah. Don’t stop.” He cupped her ass with his free hand, lent his upper body strength. “Harder. Faster. Come with me, baby, I’m about to come.”
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The spasms in her pussy, the gush of honey over his balls, the hard, shallow breaths she took all told him she was close. He let go the rigid control that had him aching and panting, and let the feelings take him… Up…higher and higher. Every contraction of her pussy sent shock waves through his cock. His balls. To all the muscles that still took orders from his nerves. The familiar feelings. Tightness akin to pain, and release so sudden, so intense he damn near blacked out. He heard himself shout, then moan in concert with her sexy little groans and whimpers. In that fleeting moment, Gray felt whole. Invincible.
***** Too bad the feeling didn’t last for long. Gray could think of nothing more telling than lying in bed, trying to struggle out of clothes and braces before one’s bride ran out of things to do in the bathroom, nothing more illustrative of his very real vulnerability. Or rifling through the basket of sex toys Andi had assembled. Before, when he’d had no doubt about his own ability to satisfy a lover, he’d like playing with them…enhancing what Nature had given him in such abundance. Vibrators and butt plugs, ben-wa balls, and nipple clamps like the rubber-clad ones he’d noticed on top of the stack. He’d even bought that same brand of erotic oil, smeared it over Andi’s nipples and clit. Sucked it off her while she’d moaned and whimpered and come with the second stroke of his cock inside her incredibly sensitive cunt. The vibrator she’d chosen looked amazingly like a detached penis, or would have if it hadn’t been made out of violet-colored gel with metallic spangles embedded in its impressively proportioned head. Shit, the thing would probably make her come as well if not better than he could with his cock. Oiling it and a neon green gel mushroom, he slipped both under the pillow. He’d use them on her later on. When he put the other toys back in the basket, he tried not to compare himself with the sparkling, whirring dildo.
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More than anything, Gray wanted to be whole again. Failing that, he wanted to satisfy his bride, give her some of the hot, imaginative sex they’d shared so long ago. His cock hardened, as if it hadn’t yet learned its role now was passive. Submissive. He had the mind of a dominant male but the practically helpless body of a sub. What a fucking lousy combination! Gray grabbed onto the trapeze above his head, pulled himself into a sitting position, then flopped over onto his belly. Thankfully therapy had put some strength back into his upper body. Enough so that he could support his weight on his outstretched arms without trembling too much. Tentatively, he moved his hips, rotated them. Took a couple of shots at straight-arm pushups. Sweat rolled down his forehead, into his good eye and under the eye patch, irritating the shit out of him while serving as a reminder that he was far from the fit, athletic guy Andi had once wanted to follow sexually, anywhere he’d led her. Letting down his weight, he sank face down on the bed, lay there a minute until he found the strength to twist himself onto his side. He was lying that way when Andi sat cross-legged beside him on the bed and proceeded to stroke his wrung-out body back to life. “Tell me what you want.” She swept her hands up the length of his arms, over his shoulders, and down his chest. Her fingers traced the muscular plane of his belly, making him glad he’d kept up with the rehab, tortured at least part of his body into some semblance of its former fitness. She slid them down, tangled them in his pubic hair, smiled. “You used to keep this shaved off.” “Yeah.” He used to do lots of things he couldn’t manage anymore. Like scooping her up in his arms and carrying her to the bathroom, ordering her to shave and oil his body the way he used to do for himself when he was about to go undercover. Like balancing on his knees and feeding her his cock while he bent over and ate her pussy. Hell, he couldn’t even roll over and pin her to the bed without planning how he’d manage to fuck her without suffocating her. “I want…lots of things I used to have.
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Things I don’t have anymore. Tonight, though, I’ll settle for tonguing your pretty, naked pussy. Come up here and let me play.” He rolled onto his back, then reached under the pillow and found the toys. The musky fragrance of the oil on them combined with Andi’s own scent, made his mouth water in anticipation of the feast to come. Opening his eye, he looked up at her glistening pink labia. Her puckered asshole looked like a dew-struck rosebud, invited his exploration. Invited the psychedelic neon mushroom he now rubbed slowly over the entrance to her rear passage. When he pushed it against the opening, she whimpered, altering the angle of her hips as if to give him a better angle to insert the plug. “Oh, yesss.” Her ass sucked in the plug, and she shuddered. Hot cream gushed from her pussy, scalded his chin. Her hard little clit poked out from lips as smooth as silk, invited him to lift his head and flail it with his tongue. She moaned when he backed off and worked the glittering lavender dildo into her empty, dripping cunt. “Suck my cock, baby. Suck it the way you want me to suck your clit.” Warm, wet, inviting. The slurping sounds she made when she took his cockhead and ringed it with her tongue harmonized with the deeper tones that came from his throat when he sucked her tiny rocklike clit, and the slow buzzing of the vibrator in her pussy. Her hands made tiny rasping noises in his body hair as she stroked his inner thighs…his balls…the base of his cock that was more than she could swallow. The sounds and smells. The sweet-salty taste of her come and his. Even the firm round cheeks of her ass and the stem of that ‘shroom, all he could see while he feasted in the slick, pink folds of her sex, assaulted his senses. They enhanced the delicious feel of her lips and tongue as they traveled the length of his straining cock. But she wasn’t just any woman. She wasn’t even the sexy redhead who’d figured in his fantasies during the seven years he spent in hell. She was Andi. The mother of his son. His wife. The woman he’d love to love… if only he were worthy to be the object of her adoration.
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With one hand he moved the dildo, almost withdrawing it, then sliding it deep inside her dripping cunt. Her little whimpers and moans reverberated on his cock, increased the aching in his balls. Resolutely he ignored the building urgency, replaced the dildo with his tongue. Until she swallowed his cock, took almost all of him down her convulsing throat. “Stop, lie on your back, and spread these gorgeous legs. I’ve got to fuck you. Now.” If it took his last breath, he had to take control. Take her. Like a whole man would. Levering himself over her, bracing his upper body on one arm when he’d positioned himself between her legs, he drove home. His balls bounced against the plug in her ass, while his cock throbbed wildly inside her wet, welcoming cunt. “God, baby, you feel so good.” “I feel stuffed. Deliciously stuffed. Fuck me. Oh, yesss.” Her breathless tone made him want to fuck her hard and fast, make her come and come and come before he let go and spurted out his seed. But all he could manage was slow and easy. His legs cramped with every thrust of his hips, reminding him that no matter what he wanted, he’d have to compromise. “Sorry, baby,” he growled when he had to stop and wait out another painful muscle spasm. Andi’s heart went out to him, but she dared not show sympathy. “Come here.” “I’ll squash you.” “No. You won’t. I want your chest hair to tickle my nipples…your mouth on my mouth. I want to taste me and you and sex.” Sliding up her hands from his ass to the back of his shoulders, she urged him to let go, brace his upper body on his elbows instead of trembling outstretched arms. “Please, Gray. Love me. Let me love you.” Finally he let go, lowering his heaving chest to rest against hers, burying his face in the crook of her neck. It had to be hard for him, remembering as well as she did how he’d taken total control, seduced her with his strength, the powerful thrusts of his body in hers.
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It hadn’t been his physical prowess that had seduced her then, but the power of his voice, his emotions…powers he still possessed in full, potent measure. Andi had no illusions that making him believe that would be an easy task. The tear that fell from his cheek onto her chest punctuated her concern…made her want to give him comfort she knew instinctively he’d reject. Still she couldn’t help herself from wiping that tear away. “It wasn’t your body that seduced me, Gray. It was you. Your voice, your commands…that fuck-me look in your eye.” He looked away, as if denying the truth of what she felt, what she’d said. All he’d take from her was sex. Not love. Not comfort. Not even friendship, though in truth they were becoming good friends when they weren’t in bed. Needing to hold him, she kept her legs wrapped around his trembling thighs. “Gray?” He stirred, raising his head to look into her eyes. “Squeeze my cock, baby. Squeeze it hard. Make me so hard I can’t think about the pain.” It was an order, not a request, so Andi concentrated hard, tightening her pussy muscles around him, milking him slowly while he watched her face. She’d never noticed before how long his eyelashes were, or how they curled, or the regular pattern of tiny lines that fanned out from the corner of his eye. “Yeah. That’s it. Harder.” His eye closed, and his mobile lips tightened as he began to move on her. His hot cock filled her, stretched the sensitive tissue between her cunt and the plug that filled her ass. “Kiss me. I want to taste my come from your pretty mouth.” Andi wanted to soften the tight line of his mouth, soothe the tension she guessed came as much from his own doubts as it did from sexual excitement. Raising her head, she traced his lips with her tongue, bathing them like a mother cat might clean her kittens. When he opened to her, she took his tongue in her mouth, felt him fuck her there with the same slow rhythm as he was fucking her pussy with his big, rigid cock.
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When he stiffened and bombarded her cunt with hot spurts of come, she followed, with wild contractions of her pussy that happened without her conscious direction. With wave after wave of pleasure that radiated through her body, made her tremble beneath him. Freefalling for long moments while he shuddered above her, she clutched him to her breasts, welcomed the anchor of his weight that kept her earthbound.
***** Andi liked fucking with him. Tired but exhilarated, Gray turned his head on the pillow and watched her sleep. Her pale skin glistened and the morning sun brightened her red-gold curls. Brilliant reflections from the diamonds in her ring drew his attention. Her left hand lay against his thigh, the pink-tipped nails barely grazing his scrotum. His cock started to swell at the sight of that hand. Something about it…something more erotic than if she’d lain in a way to give him a bird’s-eye view of her satiny, shaved pussy. He’d made her come. More than once…and once without touching her except with his hot gaze and erotic suggestions. Not quite the stuff of dreams, but he knew she’d liked it. She’d been dripping honey when she straddled him and took his cock inside her hot, swollen cunt. A woman couldn’t fake arousal. Not that much. Gray rolled to his side, let her warmth invade his body. For the first time since those Colombian drug-runners nailed him, he felt lucky. Lucky to be alive and even luckier to have come home to Andi and their son.
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Chapter Eight
Yeah, Gray liked being married. It had been nearly a month now, and still Andi gave every indication of wanting him as much as she had eight years ago. Damn it, he’d sworn he’d quit looking back. He should be grateful for what he still had. Hell, he was thankful. Thankful for Andi and Brett and this job that gave him reason to live. He leaned back in his desk chair and chewed the end of a pencil. Banishing doubt was almost impossible, despite the fact that he’d promised himself to count his blessings, not mourn the lost years or curse the limitations his injuries placed on him now. Picking up a newly framed photo of Andi and Brett that he’d taken last weekend by the pool, he wondered if either or both of them suffered occasional regrets for having taken him on, emotional baggage and all. Brett seemed thrilled with his room, the swimming pool, and the spacious house with all sorts of nooks and crannies a boy might explore. Since they’d moved in, he’d made himself completely at home. Gray wasn’t so sure about Andi, though she’d settled in without a word of complaint. She seemed more at home in court, where he’d just run into her an hour ago. She’d been surprised to see him walking out of Courtroom B, because she hadn’t known he’d be there. He hadn’t known he’d be presenting the defense’s opening statement, either, until Tony had handed over the McMillan case upon learning Kristine was in labor. “Keep trying to get the state to accept a plea,” Tony had said on the way out the door. “I don’t like our chances on this case.” Gray hadn’t liked them either, so now he was hanging around the office, waiting for a decision on his offer to have his client plead no contest in return for probation and no more than six months’ jail time. What the hell was taking so long? Gray understood
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Craig McDermott, Harper Wells’s fair-haired boy, wouldn’t have the authority to accept a plea bargain. Hell, the kid was no more than six months out of law school, but already he was getting meaty cases partly because Andi now had to recuse herself from trials where Winston Roe was handling the defense. “Gray?” He looked up to find Michelle, Tony’s secretary, grinning ear to ear. “What?” “The boss is a daddy. Kristine just had a boy. Anthony James Landry. Eight pounds, two ounces. You want me to send her some flowers from you or will Andi take care of it?” “I’ll call Andi.” Gray reached in his jacket, pulled out a money clip, and peeled off a couple of twenties. “Here. Put this in with whatever you’re collecting for a gift from the office. And if you don’t mind, call Craig McDermott at the state attorney’s office and see what’s holding up the decision on that plea deal.” “Okay. Hank should be back soon from doing the afternoon arraignments.” “When he gets here, ask him to come see me. I doubt Tony’s going to be spending a lot of time here during the next few days.” Gray wouldn’t, if Andi had just given birth. “All right. Do you need anything else before I pack it in for the day?” “What? Oh, no. Thanks.” Gray picked up the phone and listened while Andi raved on the other end with excitement over their friends’ new arrival. “Yeah. Send Kristine some flowers. I’m waiting for a call from your office on a plea agreement but I should be home by six or six thirty.” If Andi had just given birth. She wanted another baby, had talked about adoption with him just the other night. Gray stared at his lap, at the outline of his braces that was clearly visible beneath his lightweight suit pants, and at his fucked-up baby-making equipment that didn’t show and caused him no problems until… No reputable adoption agency was going to let them have a newborn, not with him pushing forty and as severely limited as he was physically. The idea of going through
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private channels, buying a baby, hadn’t set well with him or Andi, who had said she’d never sleep for worrying whether her baby’s natural mother were out there somewhere, planning to snatch the child away. He should have told her there was a good chance he could give her another baby— just not in the usual way. Would tell her now, no matter how embarrassing it was to think about much less talk about the way the doctors would have to collect the sperm. Maybe if he had the operation… No. Not unless and until that cyst caused him a whole lot more pain than the cramps that came every few hours, disturbing his sleep or his train of thought. Of course they were getting worse and more frequent. But he didn’t give a damn. He could take it. He might not be able to move the way he used to, but at least he could get around. And he could fuck with his wife, although not anywhere near as athletically as he’d have liked. He wouldn’t risk losing that. His intercom crackled. Grateful for the distraction, he picked up the phone and talked with Marcy Kramer, the assistant state attorney who apparently was supervising Craig McDermott on the McMillan case. “Nine months with credit for time served? I’ll have to run that by my client. You know, Marcy, this trial could go on for weeks, cost the taxpayers a bunch of money. And you could lose. Your case is none too strong.” He paused, listening while Marcy reminded him in that sultry come-on sort of voice she had that he wasn’t Tony Landry and that she might decide to try the case herself. “Spin me another one, Marcy. I’ll get with the client and let McDermott know in the morning.” With that Gray hung up. Marcy used to get his cock in gear when she was two years behind him in high school, but nerdy Sam Kramer had been the only guy the tough-talking blonde had looked at back then. Marcy had followed Sam to Miami U and if Gray recalled correctly, they’d married during his junior year. She’d never given another guy a chance. According to Andi, that had changed, big-time. Since Marcy’s divorce she’d been fucking everything in pants—or out of them, as the case might be. Tony had even
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mentioned her having come on to him a few weeks back, and Tony didn’t put out vibes. He was as devoted a husband as any Gray had ever seen. What had happened to break up the marriage made in heaven? Gray pictured Sam as he was when they were kids. The former chief nerd of their high school class, Sam was now a doc who specialized in fertility problems, who’d undoubtedly get off on knowing the ex-football captain and homecoming king would now require his assistance to impregnate his wife. At least Sam couldn’t spread around what he learned in the course of doing his job. Dragging himself out of the chair, Gray picked up his crutches and began the slow, arduous trek to the parking garage. As he made his way through a sea of cars, he wondered if Andi would want to carry his baby again instead of adopting—if that were possible.
***** “Why didn’t you say last night while we were talking about adopting? Of course I’d rather have your baby than adopt. I…you said before we…damn it, you told me it wasn’t possible for you to make me pregnant.” Andi sat cross-legged on the bed that night after they’d made love, stroking his cock the way he’d told her to. “Why did you lie?” Gray loved the little circular motion she made with her index finger over the tip, the warmth of her palm on his scrotum when she cupped his balls. “What? I didn’t lie. I can’t make you pregnant. But a fertility specialist can probably make you pregnant with my sperm. That possibility wasn’t at the forefront of my mind when I was waiting for you to climb on my cock and take me on my first ride for longer than I cared to remember.” “Oh. I guess I can forgive you.” Bending at the waist, she snaked out her tongue and tasted the drop of lubrication she’d coaxed out of his quickly hardening sex. “You know, Gray, I love making love with you.”
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Say it often enough, and I may start believing you. But right now Gray looked down at himself and couldn’t figure out why. “So you want me to see what I have to do to give you another baby?” The look she gave him was soft, dreamy…not the usual sassy Andi look. “Uh-huh. Gray, I hadn’t dared to hope—” “I’ll talk to Sam Kramer. Can’t say I’ll enjoy it…” “Marcy’s ex?” “Yeah. Did I tell you I spoke to her this afternoon?” “No, but I figured you did. I sent Craig to her when he came asking me for a decision on the plea deal for McMillan. What did she say?” “Nine months, credit for time served. Five years’ probation. I’m going to recommend McMillan take it.” It sure as hell beat the five to ten year sentence the client would get if a jury convicted him. “What would you have offered me?” “Anything, Master,” Andi said with a grin as she stretched out beside him and snuggled up close. “Don’t want you expending all your energy on a jury trial when you could be expending it on me. Which probably explains why Harper won’t let me anywhere near cases Winston Roe lawyers are defending.” “Yeah, sure. Tony says you’re tough as nails to deal with.” Rolling over onto his side, Gray slid his arm around Andi and squeezed her firm, silky butt. “I’ll make an appointment with Sam as soon as I can get one.” “Okay.” The way she did every night lately, Andi tucked her head under Gray’s chin. Her warm breath tickled his chest. “Have I told you lately that I love you?” “Yeah.” She had. He hoped to hell she wasn’t saying it to convince herself. And he wished he had the guts to love her, too. First, though, he’d have to dispel the fear that she’d walk out. And the terrible feeling that if she did, and he’d let himself love her, he’d hurt far more than he ever had from his injuries. They’d robbed him of a lot, but not as much as he’d lose if he loved Andi—and lost her.
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Stroking her flat, firm belly and silky smooth mound as they lay spoon-fashion on the bed, he wondered if he’d really get the chance to feel his baby kicking inside her…until the worst leg cramp he’d ever experienced had him doubled over with pain and trying to hold in the screams that wanted to escape his lips.
***** “Where’s Brett?” “I called my parents. They came over to the house and are watching him. Hank’s taking care of talking to McMillan about the plea deal, before you ask. Lie back and relax now, and tell me why the hell you neglected to mention that you could get rid of this pain by a simple little operation. Come to think of it, I’d like to know why you’ve been hiding the fact the cramps have been getting worse. We’re supposed to be partners.” “W-what do you mean?” Gray’s usually agile tongue apparently had been dulled by the pain medication they’d shot into him when he got to the emergency room. Andi grilled him with a look she hoped would convey just how mad she was. “I mean, according to your neurosurgeon, you’ve got more episodes like the one that had you screaming in agony in your future, if you don’t get that cyst removed from your spine. Lots more.” “Did Rodriguez also remind you that removing the cyst might cause total paraplegia?” “Yes. You told me too, the day you started to chicken out on meeting Brett. As I recall, you said you wouldn’t have the surgery because you might lose the feelings. What you didn’t mention is that the pain would be getting worse and worse if you didn’t. So bad it might very well make you nonfunctioning as a human being.” The look on his face made Andi want to comfort and not badger him, but this was too important. She couldn’t bear seeing him writhe in agonizing pain, being unable to
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do anything to ease his suffering. She clasped his hand, wouldn’t let him pull it away the way he’d seemed to withdraw emotionally the moment she’d come into his hospital room. “Gray. I told you it doesn’t matter if you can’t walk. If we have to find new ways of making love.” “If I have the surgery I may never be able to fuck you again. Do you understand that?” “Yes. But I also know there are other ways…damn it, you know you can make me come just by telling me to touch myself. That’s not going to change.” Tears poured down Andi’s cheeks. “I’d rather have mind sex with you than be fucked half to death by anybody else. Fuck you, Gray. I love you, but if you can’t accept my love then we have no business together. No business at all.” “I don’t know.” He stared at her, apparently not cognizant at the moment that they’d removed his patch in the ER when they undressed him, because he’d never let her see that scar before. The scar the eye patch covered was ugly—so ugly she understood his desire not to show it to her or anyone else. But it was part of the man she’d come to love. Steeling herself not to give in, she squeezed his hand and focused her gaze on his good eye. “Well, darling, you have exactly eight hours to figure it out, because I told Dr. Rodriguez to schedule your operation…and if you want me, you’re going to sign those consent forms. Incidentally, I had him get hold of Marcy’s ex since I understand the procedure to extract sperm’s not exactly pleasant. If you want me, I’m going to assume you also still want us to have another baby and that you’ll have that procedure done along with the other, while you’re not awake to enjoy it. Give me a kiss now. I’ve got to be in court first thing in the morning.” Walking out of that hospital room was the hardest thing Andi had ever done. Period. Gray was afraid. Terrified of losing what he thought made him a man. Willing to endure incredible pain to avoid the risk Dr. Rodriguez had said he was taking
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anyway because that cyst could grow, completely block the spinal cord at some point with the same result the surgery might have. She wanted to hold him, tell him again it wouldn’t change things…tell him she’d love him no matter what. But she’d said that and more. Now Gray had to figure out for himself what she already knew: sex or not, whether he walked or tooled around the courthouse in a wheelchair all the time, he was one hell of a man. The only man for her, now and forever. If he couldn’t accept that, then he was less of a man than she thought.
***** Idiot. It’s not your perfect body that makes you the man I love. Not even your hard, hot cock or the way you move it in my pussy. It’s the looks you give me. The touch of your hands and lips and tongue. The sound of your voice. The love in your expression when you watch our son at play. When will you believe I’m not missing out on anything because you’re not able to pick me up and carry me around or make all the moves you used to? Could Andi possibly have meant that when she’d snapped it after he balked again this morning at having the surgery? After she left, Gray stared up at the ceiling in a small square room much like all the other small square hospital rooms where he’d spent time during the eleven months following his rescue. Rodriguez would be striding in any minute now, brandishing his multi-page consent form with all its tragic possibilities. Another cramp wracked his lower body, so bad he had to grit his teeth to keep from crying out in spite of whatever stuff they’d shot him full of to kill the pain. He wouldn’t yell. Instead he’d concentrate on happy memories. Brett laughing with him as they’d played in the pool the other day. The two of them trying to coax Andi into the water…and him succeeding later that night, after Brett had gone to sleep. Moonlight filtered down through the pool’s screen enclosure, and a pair of citronella torches lent a golden glow of their own as they emitted their familiar bug-
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repelling fragrance. Warm water lapped against their naked bodies while he sat on the wide, curved step and held her, speaking softly as he might talk to a frightened kid. Gentling her, drawing out the fear she’d held onto for years since she’d apparently had a near miss with drowning. “Trust me, baby. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” Here, in the water, his limitations seemed unimportant, his movement unconfined by braces and the fucked-up nerves that didn’t carry their messages very accurately to his legs. For the first time since he’d come home, Gray felt worthy of the trust that had let her take those three steps down into the water to come into his arms. “Ready to take it a little deeper?” he said when her breathing slowed and she sighed contentedly in his arms. God, but it felt great to hold her, cradle her slender body against his chest as she floated on the shimmering surface of the water. “Oh, yes.” “Relax, then. Hold onto me.” He slid lower, let his feet rest on the bottom before standing with her, letting her legs and ass sink slowly into the water, savoring the feel of her satiny skin slipping along his trunk, over his half-hard cock. His legs no longer felt dead and useless, buoyed up as they were in the still, warm pool. “Put your arms around my waist.” When she did, all thoughts of a midnight swimming lesson fled Gray’s mind. “Gray, the moon’s full tonight,” Andi whispered once her feet hit bottom and the water lapped at her pert, pink nipples. “Full the way it was that Friday night on Clearwater Beach.” “Yeah.” Much as he’d done that night, he reached out and cupped her breasts, twisting the nipples until they tightened into rigid buds that invited his lips and tongue. Dropping his head, he nibbled one of the delectable little nubs. “Lie back against the step, honey. The swim lesson can wait. Right now I want to fuck you. Me on top. Moving in you. Taking you. Loving you.”
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“Oh, yesss. Fuck me, please.” As though her fear no longer troubled her, she lay back against the step, her head back, red-gold hair framing a face lit by the moon and the flickering torches. “My pleasure.” He floated over her, braced his feet on the pool’s smooth bottom, and found her slick cunt with his fingers. “Spread your legs for me. Let me into your hot, juicy pussy.” He sank into her heat, loved the feel of her firm, silky legs wrapped around his waist. Her satin slit warmed his balls and her pussy clenched his cock like a fist. But better. So much better. Bracing his hands on the step where her shoulders lay, he began to move. Slowly. Prolonging the sensation, the feel not only of sex but of power. Her nipples grazed his chest when he moved. Hard, tight. Arousing him more as they lay in the moonlight, in the warm, still water, fucking at the pace he set. Driving into her sweet sex over and over, gently then harder until she cried out his name and clamped down so hard on him he had no choice but to let loose and come with her. Yeah, it had felt damn good to be in control again. But Andi hadn’t seemed to enjoy that any more or less than she liked straddling his hips and taking him while he told her what to do. Hell, she’d even gotten off a few times when he hadn’t even touched her. If she could be believed, she’d even climaxed at the sound of his voice. Maybe he was the only one who thought he was less than a whole man…the only one who believed his manhood was tied up with having functioning gonads and the ability to use them. “Gray?” When he looked over to the side of the bed, it wasn’t Rodriguez standing there. Sam Kramer, looking more serious and a hell of a lot better than the skinny redheaded nerd Gray recalled from their high school days, looked down at him. Sam had filled out some, grown some muscles. The carrot-top curls that used to cause him so much teasing had mellowed out to sandy brown and been tamed by the attention of a decent barber. The preppy hairstyle had to have been Marcy’s doing.
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“Hi, Sam.” Damn it, Gray didn’t like admitting to an old acquaintance that he needed help to make a kid. Not even when the old acquaintance was a doctor that specialized in fertility problems. “I understand from Gil Rodriguez that you may need my services.” Gray tried to squelch the feeling of humiliation that no amount of pain medications could get rid of. “‘Fraid so. I assume you know all about my particular problem.” “Retrograde ejaculation. You’d be surprised how many men have that particular problem. You know, it doesn’t always happen because of an injury like yours. Since you’re going to be under general anesthesia for your other surgery today, I suggest we go ahead and collect some sperm while you’re asleep. Normally I do the procedure under local, but while it’s not excruciatingly painful, it’s not an experience most of my patients enjoy. What do you say?” “What are you going to do?” Besides making me feel like a scientific experiment, that is. The procedure Sam described sounded more suited to being performed in a BDSM torture chamber than a hospital operating room. Probes and electric currents? Gray figured that if he were going to do it, he damn well had better get it taken care of while he was sound asleep. “Are you sure it will work?” “I’m sure I’ll get some semen. How viable the sperm are, we won’t be able to tell until we get some out and take a look. I’ve had about a seventy percent success rate with sperm obtained by electro-ejaculation. The shorter the time the retrograde ejaculation’s been going on, the better the chance that the procedure will be successful.” As though he were giving a lecture to a medical school class, Sam told him how paraplegics with recent injuries were better candidates for the procedure than ones who had been injured years earlier. “Since your problem is spinal stenosis and not a complete spinal cord injury, I’d say your chances of fathering another child are pretty good. Gil mentioned that you and your wife already have one son.” “Yes. That was before my injury, though.”
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“I know. But it does indicate that you had a decent sperm count to start with, and that she has no fertility problems, or at least had none at the time your first child was conceived. Shall I plan to join you in the OR this afternoon?” Should he do it? Gray wasn’t even sure he’d go along with the back surgery, but from what Andi had said he had no other viable choice. “How long do you wait—” “I’ll flash-freeze the sample I take, and when you and Andi decide it’s time to have a baby, I’ll thaw some and inject it high up in her vagina at the optimum time in her cycle. If that doesn’t work, I use more, inject it laparoscopically into a fallopian tube. Finally, if the sperm count’s good enough but she still isn’t pregnant, I’ll do an in vitro fertilization.” “All right. Leave the consent form. I want to read it before I sign.” What had sounded unpleasant but relative simple when Sam explained it made Gray’s balls shrivel when he read the form. Why? Why had he been the one caught and beaten, turned into a scarred cripple who just might lose what few pleasures he had left to him this afternoon? Gray scribbled his name on the last page, dated it, and was about to set it on the bedside table when Dr. Rodriguez came through the door, another sheaf of papers in hand. “Can the spiel, Doc. I already know the risks and benefits, you’ve told me often enough. Give me the paper and I’ll sign it. Don’t say a word to Andi. You already told her more than she needs to know.” “Your decision. That woman loves you, though. Has to, or she wouldn’t be able to look at your face. Two nurses grabbed me on the way in here, each with a brand-new eye patch in hand. Here, put one of them on. Now, before you scare off half the staff.” Gray reached up when he realized his patch was gone. Hurriedly, he positioned another one over the mass of scars no plastic surgeon could repair. Damn it, he’d found a jewel in his wife. One who wanted him even if he ended up a helpless cripple, who could stand beside him and look at the worst of his scars without running away, screaming in terror. A woman who understood what it meant to love him and loved
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him anyway. “Go ahead, let her know. You know, she never saw this before this morning.” He gestured toward the patch. “I never take this off except to bathe, and not then if she’s likely to come in. While you’re at it, let Kramer see if he can help me give her another baby.”
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Chapter Nine
“Go on, Andi. I know you want to see Gray before his surgery. I’ll finish prepping Craig for the statutory rape trial you’re turning over to him.” “Thanks. Don’t lose any sleep over me. I’ve got the man I love, and whether he’s in a wheelchair or on his feet doesn’t matter to me. I just want him not to hurt anymore.” “I can’t believe you can stand there and calmly tell me it doesn’t matter if he can’t fuck you. At least you’ll have a baby to cuddle up to if his operation doesn’t come out right. Sam may be the world’s biggest asshole, but he’s damn good at making babies. For other people, that is.” Andi had always assumed her colleague was childless because she chose to be—but she had no time to go down that road right now, so she thanked Marcy for her help and gathered up her things. She’d go home, reassure Brett, and get to the hospital before they knocked Gray out. No matter what he decided about the operation and the baby, she’d live with it. The other option—doing as she’d threatened to and leaving him— was too dreadful to consider.
***** When Andi arrived at the hospital, Tony was there, reassuring Gray that his caseload would wait…that trials would be continued. “It’s a good thing, when you look at it this way. You’ll have time to get well and prepare cases, Hank and the paralegals will be able to pour on billable hours’ worth of research, and I’ll have more time to spend with Krissie and our little boy. Hey, Andi. I told him you’d be coming along soon.” “Congratulations, Daddy. How’s Krissie? And the baby?”
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“She’s beautiful. Happy. We’re both thrilled with our son. Thanks for the flowers, by the way. You know how much Krissie loves those fluffy white things.” “Carnations.” Tony grinned. “Whatever. Look, I need to get back across the street before Krissie thinks I’ve deserted her. Call and let me know how the surgery goes.” “Will do.” Andi turned to Gray, prepared for more of the angst she’d left him with this morning. “Dare I guess you’re okay with this now?” “Come here.” She put her purse on the table and sat on the edge of the high, narrow bed, reluctant to say anything that might break Gray’s hopeful mood. Instead of talking, she reached out, ran her fingers across his scratchy jaw. “You need a shave.” “What I need is a kiss. And I need to hear you tell me again that you love me, that this is going to be all right.” “I love you. Brett loves you. There’s no way either of us is going to ever let you go.” Andi braced her hands on either side of Gray’s head, bent, and brushed her lips slowly over his. “You’re going to have this operation and however it turns out, it’s going to be good between us. So good.” With her tongue, she traced the seam of Gray’s lips, coaxing them open, trying to persuade him with her touch what he had never before believed when she put into words. “I…love…you. So damn much. Open your mouth and let me in.” When he did, she plunged her tongue inside, sliding it over his teeth and tangling it with his tongue. He tasted so good, like mint and man, in contrast with the medicinal smell of the linens beneath his head. His hands cradled her cheeks, warmed her, then moved lower to cup her breasts when she lifted her head, took in a gasping breath. “You’re so damn beautiful. So perfect. Damn it, I want so much to watch you come, see your pretty blue eyes darkened with passion. Baby, I love you so much I’m scared to death of having this surgery…maybe ending up not being able to do more than this.”
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He loved her. And he thought she—ordinary Andi with the red hair and freckles across her nose—was beautiful. “If it turns out this is all you can do, it will be enough. You big lug, I’ve told you a hundred times, a thousand ways, that it’s you I want. Sure, I love the feel of your big, hard cock in my pussy, but there are other ways…other things we can do to make us both feel good.” “It’s not fair to you—” “Hush. It is if I say it is. And I do. Relax now. Let the meds do their thing. When you wake up, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here for you, loving you.” Gray closed his eye, but kept Andi close with gentle pressure on her hand. His breathing slowed, and she felt his chest muscles relax beneath her hand. Soon he’d nod off to sleep and they’d wheel him away to surgery. When he spoke, his words were slurred, but his smile warmed her heart. “Love you, baby. You better make an appointment with Sam. I’m having him do his thing while I’m out. Too chicken to do it awake. No matter what happens, you’ll have a chance to have…” His words trailed off. Then he opened his eye and squeezed her hand. “…our baby.” When Andi watched the orderlies take Gray down to surgery, she tried to stem her tears, but deep emotions swept her along. Hope…fear…love. Yeah. Love. Love for the man who’d finally gotten it through his stubborn head that it was his heart, his mind…his soul…that made him the man she loved. And that whatever happened, she’d just keep on loving him more each day. Him…their son…and the baby he’d finally found enough hope for the future for him to give her. “He’s going to be fine,” her friend Sandra said when she came into the waiting room a couple of hours later. “I thought I’d come by here and say hello. Rocky’s still staring through the nursery window at all the babies there. If he gets his way, we’ll be having another one before too long.”
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Andi smiled, though she was beginning to worry because it had been so long. After Sandra had visited with her for a few minutes, Dr. Rodriguez strode out of the OR and greeted her with a smile. “He came through just fine. I got the cyst out without compromising the spinal cord any further. Kaplan’s doing his thing now. We won’t know for sure for a couple of weeks, but my guess is that Gray’s going to be a whole lot better off than he was.”
***** “Come on, Gray. You need to rest.” He’d rested for a lifetime, it seemed. Too long. “What I need to do is make love with you. Come here.” “It’s only been three weeks. The doctor said—” “It’s not the goddamn doctor whose cock is about to burst. Or who’s dying to know for sure this hard-on’s not in my mind. Come on, baby. Strip for me. I’ll go so far as to let you ride me so I won’t mess up the doc’s handiwork.” Tonight Andi wore nothing sexy—just a pair of dark-green silk pajamas not a whole lot different from the ones Gray wore the bottoms of. Not much to strip off for his pleasure, but then from the way his cock felt already, she didn’t need to stimulate him much. “Do it.” Smiling, giving him just a bit of what he asked for, she slowly worked at the covered buttons on her long-sleeved pajama top. Pop! The top button came loose, letting the fabric slide away, tease him with a touch of cleavage that really wasn’t all that much in the scheme of things…wouldn’t have gotten him hot as a firecracker if he hadn’t known how sensitive those small, round globes were, how tight her rosy nipples got at his slightest touch.
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She tackled the next button, then the next. His breath caught in his throat when she let the dark-green material slide down her satiny arms, over her fingers to puddle on the floor. “Come here and let me play.” When she moved closer he smelled her arousal—unmistakable. She wanted him, probably as much as he wanted her. He fondled her sex through the silk of her pajama bottoms, found her wet, warm. Her labia felt puffy, swollen, incredibly inviting. If he didn’t get inside her soon, he damn sure would explode. “Now?” “What?” “Do you want me naked now?” Her question poured over him like honey, inflamed him even more. “Oh, yeah. Get those PJ’s off and come here. I’m so damn hungry.” His tongue felt like velvet on her pussy. Hot and soft and ever so arousing. Andi spread her legs farther apart to give him better access. The familiar pressure built inside her, growing and expanding in every direction until she could barely breathe and her heart beat in double-time. It was going to take very little of this to make her come. “Gray!” He looked up at her, his eye dark with passion. “What?” “I’m gonna come. Jesus, it’s been forever.” “Three weeks, four hours, and…” “Too damn many minutes. Lie back and let me fuck you.” “Not a chance. This time I’m doing the fucking. And you’re going to love it.” “Gray, you promised you’d let me—” “Sssh, baby. I changed my mind. Do what I say.” She obeyed, both of them trembling as he flipped her to her back. Taking control, he mounted her, and pushed inside her until he felt her silky outer lips caressing his scrotum. “Feel good?”
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“Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yesss. Gray, I’m coming. Come with me.” He pulled back once, twice, three times, pounding her harder with every stroke. The twinges in his back hardly registered, and when she clamped down on him and convulsed around his heated flesh, he let go and shot his load. Over and over, spurting jets of hot seed that felt different. More complete. The afterglow stayed with him for hours as he cradled Andi in his arms. This time, his homecoming had been all sweet. No fear. And no more bitterness for what he’d lost, for he’d found his home…his heart…his love.
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Epilogue Eight months later
Andi lay back against the cushions and watched Gray and Brett playing water polo in their pool with Kristine and Tony. She’d have joined them, but Brett’s little sister was doing cartwheels in her belly and it felt too good, just lying here and feeling the sun bringing out freckles on her sensitive skin. Besides, she needed the practice of watching out for a baby, and little Anthony was definitely a good subject. He never stayed still unless he was sleeping, which he was doing now in the playpen beside her. Gray leapt up to catch Brett’s pass, making Andi smile. Though he wasn’t a hundred percent and never would be, the surgery had gotten rid of his awful pain— and given him back enough muscle control that he’d been able to trade in the heavy braces he’d worn for lighter, more flexible ones. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d resorted to the wheelchair, and as often as not he used just one forearm crutch to steady himself. “Are you okay?” Kristine asked, wrapping herself in a big towel and sinking into a chair beside her son’s playpen. “Anthony has a way of wearing a person out.” “I’m fine. Just looking forward to the baby being born. I don’t recall that Brett was quite this active.” Kristine smiled. “The last months are the hardest. I’d like to ask you something, but feel free to tell me to mind my own business. You had to have gotten pregnant awfully soon after Gray’s surgery.” Andi laughed. “Three weeks after, if you want the exact date.” “Oh. I’ve never known exactly when we conceived Anthony—or this one. Did you…?
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“No. We did it the old-fashioned way. I found out four weeks later when we went in to have Sam Kramer do the artificial insemination with Gray’s sperm. He had a long laugh when he saw the result of the pregnancy test he always has done before he does one of his fertility procedures.” “I bet Gray was thrilled.” “Oh, yeah. I’d thought he couldn’t get any cockier than he’d been that week already, after beating Marcy in his first criminal trial. When he heard his surgery had resulted in restoring his fertility as well as getting rid of his chronic pain, he was walking on air.” “Wow! Are you going back to work, or has Gray persuaded you to become a stayhome mom?” “I don’t know. Right now we’ve compromised. I’ll be starting a six-month leave of absence next week, and we’ll decide after the baby’s born whether to make the retirement permanent. Like Sandra, I’ve been working a long time. She’s beginning to go stir-crazy staying home, even with baby number two on the way.” At the moment Andi was leaning toward retirement, but she imagined she might change her mind once she was no longer toting around thirty extra pounds with summer lurking just over the horizon. “Sandra’s going to work for Winston Roe. Tony told me this afternoon. She’s going to work three days a week.” “How?” Judges were notoriously unsympathetic with lawyers whose schedules had to be catered to—especially defense lawyers. “She’s going to do research and negotiate plea agreements. That way she can keep a regular schedule. More regular than the trial lawyers keep, anyhow.” “Tell me about it. Gray’s taken six cases to trial in the past three months. I wish he’d been able to plead some of them out.”
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Tony came up behind Kristine, scooped her out of the chair and into his arms. “What are you two scheming about now?” he asked, his trademark grin as wide now as it was when he was zeroing in on an unsuspecting witness. “Nothing. I was just telling Andi that Sandra will be joining your firm. And that I hoped her being there would give you more time for me and Anthony.” Brett scampered into the house, signaling Andi that it was four o’clock—time for his favorite cartoon show. Gray heaved himself out of the pool, shaking off his wet hair before grabbing his crutches and joining Andi on the couch. “What were you two talking about?” he asked. “About Sandra coming to work with you and Tony,” Andi said, sitting up and planting a long, hard kiss on his smiling lips. “And about how much has changed since this time last year…since you came home. Have I told you lately how much I love you, how glad I am that we’re finally a family?” “Oh, yeah. You let me know every night.” He lowered his voice and spoke close to Andi’s ear. “I love you, and our son, and this little girl who can’t seem to quit pounding her mommy’s belly.” Gray laid his hand over the mound that was their baby and looked over at Tony and Kristine. His contentment was evident in his smile. “I love my job and my life, and having good friends like you two have become.” The lines had softened around his mouth and eye. His scars, though still visible enough to make strangers stare, were fading. Even the eye patch looked less stark, almost as though he wore it to make a statement instead of to cover the evidence of horrors that never would completely fade. Andi loved the way he smiled now, often and sincerely. The taut, fit tone of his deeply tanned skin made her want to stroke its satiny surface. She loved the forceful yet tender way he loved her—his protectiveness, attentiveness. Andi could hardly wait to have their baby. Gray’s gentle, loving touch made her feel cherished—but she longed to see his eye darken with passion again. Hear him tell her what he wanted in that deep, mesmerizing tone she loved so well. Immerse herself
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in him until she existed only to serve him, to earn the exquisite pleasure he gave her as her reward for accepting his dominance. Yes, she was lucky. Very lucky indeed. It had taken eight years of waiting, but her weekend fling had grown into a love to last a lifetime.
Ann Jacobs
Lawyers In Love: Bittersweet Homecoming
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