Blind Passion
Penny Brandon
www.loose-id.com
Blind Passion Copyright © January 2011 by Penny Brandon All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the original purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this e-book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without prior written permission from Loose Id LLC. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions. eISBN 978-1-60737-934-8 Editor: Sherri Lynn Cover Artist: Justin James Printed in the United States of America
Published by Loose Id LLC PO Box 425960 San Francisco CA 94142-5960 www.loose-id.com This e-book is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author‟s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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Chapter One Adam lifted his head at the potent fragrance that reached him. Puzzled, he took a deep, inconspicuous breath through his nose and mouth. He frowned, concentration on the book he‟d been reading lost as he tried to distinguish what it was. This particular scent itself was unique; he knew damn well he‟d never come across it before, yet it seemed familiar somehow. It teased his senses, tantalized his memory, until Adam suddenly recognized it—the musky, rich aroma of an aroused male. Startled, because the only person it could come from was the man sitting across from him beyond the width of the dining table, Adam turned in his direction. His hands slipped, the braille dots beneath his fingertips suddenly losing their meaning. Oh God, this was not good. Biting back a moan as his cock thickened and swelled in reaction, Adam sat as still as he could, listening for any sign that Luke had noticed the extra level of sexual tension that filled the room. He didn‟t really need to worry; Luke obviously had no idea how he affected Adam, and Adam was not about to tell him. Jesus, what kind man did that to another? He took another deep breath; this time it was to clear the sexual haze that was fogging his mind. He needed to get Luke away from him before he made a fool of himself. “Luke?” God, even saying his name was enough to send a tingle to his balls. He really needed to get Luke out of his living room. It would give both of them a chance to cool off. When he didn‟t receive an answer, he tried again, louder. “Luke?” “Fuck.” The softly spoken curse could have been shouted. Luke still hadn‟t realized Adam‟s hearing was acute, not that they‟d spoken to each other enough for Luke to have figured that out. “Are you all right?” Adam asked him, deciding tact would better suit his purpose. Not being able to read the nuances on people‟s faces, Adam usually found it easier to be direct. However, asking Luke why he was turned-on would probably be going too far, and Adam didn‟t really want to know. “What?” Luke shuffled the pages he was holding in his lap. “I asked if you were all right.” “Why?” Luke shifted in his seat, and Adam had to stop an image of Luke adjusting his erection. It would be slim, Adam decided, but long. “You seem…distracted.” Yeah, and so was he now.
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This time the curse was not much more than Luke moving his lips. Maybe Luke was embarrassed; maybe Luke needed to go and find some relief. Shit, thinking of Luke jacking off was not a good idea. Not right now, at least. He tried again. “Do you need to take a break?” he asked, needing one of his own. From the moment he‟d first inhaled Luke‟s scent and heard his voice, Adam had been in a constant state of arousal. Most of the time he‟d managed to keep it hidden, but right now the bulge in his jeans would be obvious, and with Luke gone from the room, it would give him a chance to adjust his own raging hard-on. The sound of a chair scraping back on the timber floor warned Adam that Luke had stood up, while the papers he‟d been holding landed on the dining table with a soft flutter. “Why are you doing this?” Luke‟s sudden remark caught Adam by surprise. Could Luke know what he‟d been thinking? He fought down a moment of panic and while maintaining a neutral expression sat back in his chair and tilted his head to Luke‟s face. “Doing what?” he asked, thankful his voice didn‟t betray what he was feeling. “This!” Adam frowned, confused, and then realized what Luke had done. He sighed in both resignation and disappointment. “If you just made a sweeping gesture with your hand to indicate something, you have to remember I can‟t see it.” Hand gestures were a natural way of communicating, and nearly everyone forgot Adam couldn‟t see them, but pointing that out to Luke wasn‟t so much as to remind him but to take his own mind off the disturbing thoughts that were still going on in his head. Luke cursed again. This time it was loud and clear. “Fuck this. I don‟t know what the fuck I‟m doing here. I don‟t need this shit!” Taken aback by the sudden aggression in Luke‟s tone, Adam gritted his teeth. “If by shit you mean sitting here and working with me, then tough. I do need it.” Adam didn‟t even try to hide his swift but very explainable anger. It was hard enough accepting help from someone, but knowing Luke didn‟t want to be here pissed him off, more so because all Adam could think of was wanting Luke. “Go and take a break,” he ordered, throwing out the back of his hand. He heard Luke move, and his voice sounded closer as if Luke had leaned in toward him. “You just made a hand gesture.” Luke‟s snide reply was the last straw, and Adam‟s composure finally snapped. He‟d had enough, both with Luke and his own lack of control. “That‟s because I know you can fucking see it!” Pushing back his chair, Adam stood up, agitated. He never swore at people, and he rarely lost his temper, but frustration and an impossible situation had him on edge. When Luke didn‟t make a move to leave, Adam wasn‟t sure if he was grateful or more pissed off. He shook his head. “I‟m sorry.” “For what?”
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There was a sharpness to Luke‟s words that Adam regretted putting there. Despite his scorn Luke didn‟t deserve Adam‟s anger. Luke didn‟t know what he was doing to Adam, didn‟t know that he was turning him on beyond comprehension. “Swearing at you.” “Don‟t be. I do it all the time.” The tone of Luke‟s voice softened, and Adam could imagine a light smile playing on his lips. Lips he wanted to kiss. “Yeah, well. I don‟t.” “Maybe you should. Helps give emphasis to what you‟re saying.” Now Adam could definitely hear Luke‟s amusement, but instead of being settled by it, he was only rankled further. “I‟m a schoolteacher, in case you‟d forgotten. Swearing is only used by people who are not smart enough to think of something better to say.” The sudden antagonism that filled the room was tangible. Adam instantly regretted what he‟d said, but before he could apologize, Luke pushed away from the table. “Fuck you.” Loud footsteps echoed along the timber floor as Luke walked away, and seconds later the front door slammed behind him. Adam listened for a second, then sat back down and sighed. He knew he shouldn‟t have said that, but how the hell did you handle lusting after a man you could never have? He groaned, releasing the banked-up tension and frustration that threatened to overwhelm him. He‟d never felt this way before, never been turned on like this. Being gay wasn‟t a problem; it was just another circumstance he lived with, like his blindness. It was just that his blindness made being gay hard, if not impossible to act on or even appreciate. He could never tell if another man was interested in him. He didn‟t know what signals to pick up on or what signals to give. Until now that hadn‟t really been an issue, because he‟d never felt an attraction for anyone. But he was undeniably attracted to Luke, and he honestly didn‟t know what to do about it. Getting hard in front of Luke was definitely not something he should do, but it wasn‟t something he could control either. The instant Luke had walked into his home four days ago, Adam had been intensely aware of him. Luke smelled like a hot summer‟s day just after the grass had been cut and before a rainstorm was about to break; he sounded like a soft breeze whispering across a pebbled beach—soothing yet edgy. Combined, they triggered something deeply primal in Adam. He needed Luke, needed to hear his voice, to smell him…touch him. And God help him—if there was one thing he desperately wanted to do, it was to taste him. Disturbed, Adam had at first tried to keep out of Luke‟s way, had tried not to get too near him in case he inadvertently exposed how he felt. Funnily enough, Luke seemed to have the same idea. He always made sure he never got too close, moving away from Adam if they happened to come within touching distance. On
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some level Adam had been grateful, though a little confused as to why Luke had deemed it necessary to make sure they stayed clear of each other. Perhaps it was because Luke felt ill at ease in Adam‟s company, or maybe he just didn‟t want to be there. Either way, Adam couldn‟t really blame him. Being around a blind man wasn‟t easy, and having to work for him when you‟d rather be somewhere else didn‟t help the situation—a situation that today, Adam had practically lit a fuse under. Caught up in a desire so powerful, Adam hadn‟t been be able to help himself when Luke had knocked on the door two hours earlier. He‟d opened the door and had stood there, making Luke brush past him instead of stepping out of the way as usual. They hadn‟t actually come into contact, but Adam had felt Luke‟s heat in that fleeting moment, had caught his scent, and it had torn a groan from his throat. Praying Luke hadn‟t heard him or noticed that he‟d closed his eyes as a shiver had passed through his body, Adam gave Luke instructions and then tried to spend the past couple of hours ignoring the almost impossible impulse to reach over and touch him. He wanted to feel Luke‟s skin beneath his fingertips; he wanted to know if it would be as silky as he‟d imagined. Luke couldn‟t have known what was going on in Adam‟s head, would have absolutely no idea, but Adam had a sick feeling that Luke sensed he was slowly unraveling and had reacted in kind. Their explosive argument just a few minutes ago proved that the atmosphere was more strained than usual between them. It had been a stupid, reckless thing to do, and if Luke came back, Adam swore he wouldn‟t attempt to do anything to make Luke feel any more uncomfortable than he already did. He didn‟t want to jeopardize the time they had together, fleeting as it was, because any time with Luke was better than nothing at all. It was just a shame that Luke couldn‟t feel the same way about him. Adam rubbed his hands over his face and winced. He was an idiot for thinking about Luke that way. He was an idiot for thinking about any man that way. He sighed, resigned, acknowledging what he knew to be an unending fact—his blindness would make sure it was never going to happen.
*** Luke stood on the balcony outside Adam‟s apartment and felt like kicking something, but losing his temper wasn‟t going to do him any good. He curled his hands into fists and made a real effort not to slam them into the wall, taking a deep breath instead to calm down. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Swearing, however, even though it was inside his head, did make him feel better. He took another deep breath and turned to face the door he‟d just slammed. He had to go back in there because he needed Adam to sign his community service papers, and technically he still had another hour to go of the three-hour stint he had to do today. Luke lifted his hand, then dropped it to his side. He didn‟t think he could go back in there. He didn‟t think he could face Adam again. God, what a fucking stupid thing to do! Why the hell did he have to lose his temper like that? He never used to
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lose his temper, but recently he couldn‟t seem to help himself. He knew part of it was frustration, both at his own failure and at the injustice of holding on to a morality no one seemed to care about. The rest, well, the rest was because he‟d started not to give a damn. If no one else did, why should he? He groaned and leaned against the brick wall of the apartment building. The sun was starting to set, darkening the Australian landscape but coloring the clouds that had gathered just beyond the horizon with streaks of gold and red. In this part of the world, night would come quickly, dusk settling into full darkness so the stunning display would be gone in minutes. Luke stared, unmoved, uncaring. As far as he was concerned, it was just a reminder that he was nearing the end of another hopeless day. He closed his eyes and wished the rest of it away, especially the last few minutes. He groaned again, seriously wishing he hadn‟t argued with Adam. Adam didn‟t deserve it. It wasn‟t Adam‟s fault that Luke couldn‟t control his libido. How could he have done that? How could he have gotten hard in front of Adam like that? He‟d let his guard down for just one moment, and look what happened. Thank God Adam was blind and hadn‟t noticed. Shit! Luke quickly berated himself for thinking such a thing. Jesus, fuck, what kind of dickhead was he? He really wasn‟t cut out for this. He would have been better off picking up rubbish at the side of the road or something, not babysitting a blind man. No, that wasn‟t fair, Luke conceded. Adam didn‟t need minding—he just needed help. The help of a sighted person, and Luke was it. At least for the next twenty-six days. Too bad if he didn‟t like it; he was just going to have to suck it up. Luke bit his lip and turned back to the door. Adam wouldn‟t chew him out for leaving—he wasn‟t that kind of guy—but Luke felt he would be disappointed in him for doing so, and Luke didn‟t want to disappoint Adam, because he liked him, too much, and that was the problem. The six-foot blond was hot. With broad shoulders and a trim waist, lean hips, and long legs, he was everything Luke had ever dreamed of having and known he never could. Not permanently, anyway. Over the years he‟d had his fair share of lovers, but all of them had been brief one-night stands where he‟d been used and then discarded like the cheap trash he was. Most of them had been good-looking— Luke used to only accept offers from men who were—but none of them had come close to the Adonis that was on the other side of that door. Being gay had never been a problem for him, but being trapped in a room with a man he was seriously lusting after wasn‟t doing him any favors. He‟d never been in this situation before, wanting someone and not knowing what to do about it. What could he do? Nothing. He could do nothing and just hope to fuck he could get through the next few weeks without causing some serious damage—to himself and to Adam if he ever found out. Rubbing the back of his neck, his fingers encountering the rough, puckered flesh that reminded him of why he was here and why wanting Adam was the most useless thing he‟d ever done, Luke finally dredged up enough courage to face his
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fear and knocked. He waited, anxious, wanting Adam to forgive him for storming out, wanting Adam to understand why—just wanting Adam. His nerves started a knot in his stomach as the door opened and he looked upon the face that had been haunting his dreams for the past three nights. Adam really was gorgeous. His short hair was blond, his eyebrows a couple of shades darker, his eyelashes darker still, but with gold tips that sometimes glinted in the odd beam of sunlight. A high brow and a classically straight nose combined with a square jaw gave his face sharp angles, but his full lips and a wide mouth softened the look, and when he smiled it caused a dimple in Adam‟s left cheek, making him appear younger than the late twenties Luke guess him to be. Without a doubt, Adam was the best-looking guy he‟d ever seen. But there was one feature that stood out from the rest; Adam‟s eyes. Luke stared into them now. They were an unusual shade of aqua green, like the purest water off the tropical Queensland north coast. They were beautiful, and Luke was fascinated by them, and though he knew Adam couldn‟t focus on him, couldn‟t see him, on the very few times when they faced him, Luke often thought they were staring into his heart and soul. And found it lacking. “Luke.” Adam‟s voice was usually soft, and Luke had actually been surprised when Adam had shouted at him. Now when Adam said his name, Luke felt it like a silken caress over his heated skin. He shivered, wanting nothing more than to feel Adam touching him for real. “I‟m sorry,” he said, knowing it wasn‟t enough, but it was all he had. “It‟s okay. You don‟t have to apologize. I know you don‟t want to be here.” The hurt on Adam‟s face was disturbing. Luke didn‟t even realize how much Adam had noticed. “I do want to be here!” he blurted without thinking. “You do?” “Yeah.” Why did he have to go and say that? It wasn‟t going to help the situation. “Why?” Luke shrugged. “I don‟t know. I like you, I guess.” Fuck, shut up, Luke! Adam smiled, and that dimple of his showed clear on his cheek. Luke stared at him, stared at Adam‟s mouth, imagining it on him, kissing him. He shivered again and momentarily closed his eyes, only opening them when he heard Adam move. “Come on in,” Adam said, standing to the side to let him enter, his arm extended wide in welcome. Luke grinned, unable to help it despite knowing that Adam was mocking him. At least Adam had a sense of humor. His boots loud on the wooden floor, he walked back into the apartment, careful this time not to brush past Adam like he had earlier. That had been a big mistake but one he only half regretted. At least it had given him a chance to be close to Adam without raising suspicion.
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“How did you know it was me?” he asked as Adam closed the door behind him. “Because you never moved away from the door when you left.” Luke turned to face Adam, who was standing by the wall. He looked tense, expectant. “How did you know that?” “You‟re wearing steel-capped boots. On the balcony they make a distinctive sound. I can tell when you‟re coming or going.” Luke looked down at his boots. Putting on the scruffy, oil-stained work wear had become a habit even though he no longer had a job. “Do you want me to take them off?” A startled look crossed Adam‟s face, something that looked a lot like panic before it finally settled on a strained smile. “If you want.” Knowing he‟d upset Adam, Luke wanted to make amends. He only just realized his boots might scuff the polished wooden floors. Bending down, Luke unlaced his boots and pulled them off, and when he noticed Adam‟s feet were bare, he peeled off his socks as well, stuffing them inside the boots before placing them next to the front door. Straightening, Luke faced Adam, who was smiling. It was an easy, natural smile this time. “I‟ve always liked the feel of cool wooden floors beneath my feet. That and the warm, soft texture of a rug,” Adam said, his voice dipping low and sexy. Luke instantly went hard again. He stifled a groan and quickly looked around for something to distract himself. Checking for the rug Adam had spoken about, he found it in front of the chocolate-colored leather lounge. For the first time, Luke took a proper look around the room. It was big and roomy, with large pieces of furniture. One of the armchairs looked like it could comfortably sit two people. There was a bookcase on one wall, an entertainment unit that housed a stereo system with wireless speakers that had been set up around the room, and a large flat-screen TV, which was attached to the wall across from the lounge. The dining table and six chairs sat at the other end of the long room, close to the galley kitchen. Luke assumed the bathroom and bedrooms were down the hallway leading off this side of the room. There were two things that Luke noticed most. The room was clean and clutter free, which he supposed would be normal for a blind man, and that the apartment had one full wall of glass doors that opened onto a balcony that gave a full panoramic vista of the Blue Mountains. “What do you think?” Luke almost jumped at the voice close behind him. He hadn‟t realized Adam had moved until he‟d spoken, and now he was suddenly aware that the man‟s chest was only inches from his back. He tried to control the shiver that passed through his body, but it was extremely difficult when he could now feel the faint stirrings of Adam‟s breath on his nape. He was actually hard pressed not to moan out loud. “It‟s, um, nice,” Luke managed to say while fighting the need to lean back into Adam‟s chest or move away and give Adam a reason to suspect how he was feeling.
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Adam had never stood so close to him before. In fact, Luke had noticed that Adam had been very careful not to come anywhere near him, and after four days Luke‟s restraint was beginning to fray. He wanted Adam, and God help him, but that want was driving him insane. He wasn‟t going to be able to stay around him for much longer without accidently saying something, doing something that would put further strain on both of them. He‟d noticed how withdrawn Adam had been today, and Luke blamed himself for making him feel that way. He was just glad Adam hadn‟t guessed how he felt. “The apartment or the view?” Luke had to concentrate on what Adam was saying because his mind, his thoughts, were elsewhere. “The apartment is nice. The view is spectacular.” “It is, isn‟t it? That‟s why I chose this place.” “For the view? How would you know?” Oh, that was real smart, Luke. He heard Adam chuckle and once again felt the puff of breath against his neck. This time he couldn‟t help the goose bumps that crawled over his skin or the way his nipples hardened and his cock ached. Why was Adam standing so close to him? “Because Michael told me.” “Who‟s Michael?” The question came out as an accusation, and Luke cursed inwardly. He turned around quickly and took a step back, catching a frown on Adam‟s face. “My brother. Why?” “Oh.” Luke hadn‟t thought of Adam having family or friends. Somehow he‟d imagined Adam all alone. “Nothing. No reason.” Luke knew he was stammering and clamped his mouth shut. The frown on Adam‟s face deepened, and Luke felt suddenly vulnerable and exposed, as if Adam could see what was going on in his mind. It was a feeling he didn‟t like, not one little bit, and a knife-edge of panic started in the pit of his stomach as Adam continued to stare at him. But he wasn‟t staring, Luke reminded himself. He could stand here naked and Adam would never know. Or would he? “Can we finish marking those papers?” he asked, wanting to get out from beneath Adam‟s blind scrutiny. Sight or not, Adam had an uncanny way of knowing everything that was going on around him. Luke suddenly began to worry; could Adam know how he felt? His stomach plunged, and his heart began to race. Please, don’t let Adam have guessed. He didn‟t want to have to go, not yet. “Of course.” Adam made a beeline for the dining room table they were using as a desk and unerringly sat back down on the chair he‟d vacated. Luke watched him, watched how his graceful body moved, how his long legs took him across the room, how he ran his fingers sensually along the table, how he seemed to dominate the space around him, own it. “How do you do that?”
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*** Adam didn‟t pretend to not know what Luke meant. He was asked the same question often enough. He was just surprised that Luke had asked it today and not before. “Not bump into things?” “Yeah.” Adam knew he could have explained, but the usual explanation always sounded trite. “Think about it.” “You know where they are in relation to everything else?” Adam smiled. “Got it in one.” “But what about me?” Now Adam did pretend. “What do you mean?” “You came within inches of my back. How did you know exactly where I was standing?” Luke didn‟t sound curious; he sounded worried. Shit. Keeping his face neutral, Adam shrugged. “You took five steps from the front door to the middle of the room. I took four, but I forgot to take into consideration your height and misjudged it.” Like hell he did. He knew within inches where Luke stood, and despite his promise of only moments ago, he‟d deliberately come up that close so he could feel the heat radiating from Luke‟s body and breathe in his scent. But he‟d only come up close. He didn‟t touch him, because he knew he wouldn‟t have been able to control himself. Around Luke he was seriously beginning to mistrust his ability to control the unstable need to hold him in his arms. What the hell would Luke have said if he‟d done that? Probably storm out of here, and Adam would never see him again. And he didn‟t want that. It was stupid he knew. He would have been better off with Luke gone, but the idea of not being able to hear his voice again was just too painful to contemplate. He just couldn‟t do it. He shook his head and indicated the chair beside him. “Sit down and we‟ll finish the papers.” He listened as Luke approached, both pleased and worried when Luke did as he asked. Luke wouldn‟t have known it, but Adam had pulled the chair closer by several inches. Cruel torture he knew, and stupid, and wrong. He passed over the unmarked schoolwork and waited until Luke had picked up a pen before grabbing the book he‟d been reading. He only picked it up so Luke wouldn‟t get suspicious. He had no intention of reading it; he just didn‟t want Luke thinking he was just sitting there, thinking about him. Which he was. How had Luke come to be here? He‟d heard some of the story from Jackie, the counselor who had assigned Luke to him, but other than the basics, she hadn‟t divulged any further information. This wasn‟t the first time she‟d offered someone as a teacher‟s assistant, but it had been the first time Adam accepted. Usually he preferred one of the students at the neighboring high school, someone who didn‟t mind giving up their free time or who needed help in English and was willing to
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swap time for a lesson. But the end of year was coming up, and most of the graduating students were preparing for the holidays or looking for a job. He could ask Luke, he supposed, but he wasn‟t sure if the man would be prepared to talk to him about it. In the short time he‟d known him, Adam had quickly realized Luke was not predisposed to talking about himself or anything for that matter. Today was the first time they‟d spoken more than a couple of words together. “What?” Startled, Adam tilted his head. “Pardon?” “You‟re looking at me.” “I can‟t look at you.” “You know what I mean. You‟re thinking about me.” Adam‟s heart started a hard pounding, and his mouth went dry. He hadn‟t realized he‟d succumbed to his usual habit of lifting his face in the direction of the person he was thinking of. Most people didn‟t mind; Luke obviously did. “I was wondering why you‟re here,” he said honestly, wanting to know. “I don‟t have a choice.” “Everyone has a choice, Luke.” Adam could feel Luke‟s sudden anger coming off him in waves, and he tensed, waiting for another explosive response. Instead, he felt Luke struggling to control himself and the sharp retort he no doubt wanted to let loose. After a couple of seconds, he heard Luke release a soft breath. “Not over this I don‟t.” The quiet way he said it had Adam curious. “What did you do?” Luke shifted in his seat…embarrassed, still angry? “If you don‟t want to tell me, fine. I don‟t need to know.” When Luke didn‟t answer, Adam decided Luke was embarrassed. He knew it couldn‟t have been that bad, or Luke wouldn‟t have been sent to him. The sound of a pen scratching on paper forced Adam to turn his face away. Obviously Luke didn‟t want to talk about it. Though disappointed, Adam didn‟t push him for an answer. It really had nothing to do with him, but Adam had a selfish reason for wanting Luke to talk. He really loved the sound of his voice. It was like a drug, seducing him, making him want more. He sighed and picked up his book again, this time concentrating on the words. It was several minutes later before Luke put the pen down. “How old are these kids you‟re teaching?” Luke asked. Adam stopped reading, leaving the tip of his finger on the braille dots that formed the words in the book. “Nine, why?” “And they can spell things like segregation and transgression?”
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Adam smiled. “I hope so. That‟s what the test was for.” There was silence for a moment, and Adam could have sworn he heard a catch in Luke‟s breathing. “Why?” “Out of all of these, only one kid got one word wrong,” Luke said, sounding slightly hesitant. “That would be Sam. He can‟t spell champagne, keeps forgetting the silent g.” Luke picked up the pen and started tapping against the pile of papers in agitation. Letting go of his place in the book, Adam sat forward and rested his forearms on the table. He could feel the faint vibration of the pen hitting the timber. He almost put out his hand to still Luke‟s, only just managing to stop himself in time. “What‟s wrong?” “I can‟t spell half of these words.” Luke‟s self-derogatory tone had Adam frowning. He hadn‟t meant to make Luke feel inadequate. “Hey, don‟t sweat it. It took me years to learn braille.” The tapping stopped and Luke leaned back in his chair. “You read a lot, don‟t you? That‟s not the same book you were reading on Monday.” Surprised Luke had noticed, Adam nodded. “It‟s one of the pastimes I can handle on my own.” “What else do you do?” Where was this coming from? The previous three days Luke had barely said a word. Why the sudden change, or had Luke just been shy and not the sullen, angry man Adam had assumed? He smiled and heard that slight hitch in Luke‟s breathing again. Adam‟s cock stirred in response, but he ignored it, though with Luke talking to him, it was pretty impossible to ignore completely. Luke talking turned him on. “I listen to music, obviously.” “What else?” “I do crosswords.” Luke snorted. “How?” Adam grinned, pointing to his laptop on a side console. “Voice activated with word-recognition software.” “Oh.” Luke moved to put his hands on the table, the action bringing them close. Adam stayed where he was as Luke‟s rich scent assailed his senses. “Do you go out much? You know, long walks, play sports, go for drives?” “Not on my own.” He couldn‟t see Luke‟s grin, but he could feel it in the way the other man‟s body relaxed. Adam relaxed also. He liked this, feeling this rapport. He hadn‟t believed it was ever going to happen, and as his mind relished it, his body thrummed with a heightened awareness that seemed to go beyond the physical. “Funny.” “I‟m a funny guy.”
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He sensed more than felt Luke lean in a little closer. Luke‟s breath misted on his skin, his heat enveloped him, his scent tantalized and teased. He imagined Luke watching him; he imagined Luke reaching out to touch him. He imagined the pleasure he would get from that single touch. Fighting back a shudder, Adam licked his lips, and Luke‟s body tensed beside him. It was impossible to miss, impossible to know why. Suddenly afraid he‟d shown something on his face, Adam pushed away from the table and, needing to do something with his hands, gathered the scattered exam papers into a pile. “Adam.” It was the first time Luke had said his name, and the way he said it, with a seriously seductive edge to it, was something Adam couldn‟t fail to notice. It was impossible, Luke couldn‟t have meant it that way, but despite that knowledge, his body instantly reacted, going hard with a need he could no longer hide, and he groaned. “Oh fuck.” Luke‟s exclamation had Adam flustered, and he let slip a couple of the papers, which fluttered to the floor. He automatically knelt down to retrieve them and heard Luke quickly getting to his feet to help. “I‟ll get them.” Luke‟s voice was shockingly close, just a whisper away from his face. Adam froze, not daring to move lest he gave in to the desire to turn and let his lips brush against the skin of Luke‟s jaw. Please, please give me strength. “Here.” Luke pulled back slightly, giving Adam the respite he needed. Giving him a moment to try to figure this out. He hadn‟t mistaken the edge in Luke‟s voice when he‟d said his name. He‟d trained himself to listen for nuances, and he always got it right—always. Body strung tight, he stood up slowly, dizzy with longing, dizzy with the slow realization that Luke might want him too. “Luke?” Could he do this? Could he say something? Could he not? Unwilling to let go of this opportunity to find out if he was right, no matter how unpractical or unlikely, Adam scrambled for the only thing he could think of. “Stay for dinner.” When there was no response, Adam wanted to quickly retract his invitation, thinking he‟d gotten it wrong, but that would only make him sound like a dithering idiot. Instead he waited with bated breath, feeling like a dithering idiot anyway. At Luke‟s continued silence, Adam felt disappointed. “It doesn‟t matter,” he said, turning. “Adam.” Adam took a step back, fearing that Luke was going to touch him. If Luke did that, Adam didn‟t think he could control himself. His hip brushed against the table, and he gripped the edge for support. “It‟s okay. Maybe another time.” God, could he sound any more pathetic? “Adam. I‟d love to stay for dinner.” Luke‟s soft words slowly penetrated the hurt that had begun to build in his chest. “Really?”
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“Yes.” “You sure?” Luke laughed, a light, velvety sound that set Adam‟s skin tingling. “Are you trying to change my mind?” “No! No, it‟s fine.” Suddenly more light-headed than he had reason to be, Adam couldn‟t stop the silly grin that crossed his face. “What would you like?” He didn‟t wait for a response but headed to the kitchen and opened the fridge. “I‟ve got steak or steak.” “Steak it is, then.” Luke came up behind him, inches away. “Do you want me to do anything?” Once again, Adam was struck by the need to turn his head and bring himself closer to Luke. Once again he managed to suppress it, but this time Luke didn‟t make it easy. He stood there until Adam shifted out of the way of temptation. It was too soon to tell if what he felt for Luke was reciprocated, and it was way too soon for Adam to pluck up the courage to say something. “No, it‟s okay.” “What about putting some music on?” Music. Okay, music was safe, wasn‟t it? “Well, yeah, you can do that, if you like.” “What kind of music have you got?” Adam wasn‟t sure, but it sounded like Luke was smiling. Luke moved away, and Adam sighed in relief. “It‟s pretty varied.” “Hey, you‟ve got U2. That band rocks.” Luke‟s enthusiasm was quickly followed by the heavy characteristics of the Irish band. Thankful that Luke was no longer a distraction, Adam busied himself with pulling out two saucepans and the frying pan. Cooking was a necessity he had quickly mastered, but he usually stuck to the basics and didn‟t attempt anything new unless Michael was with him. Confident of his ability with a knife, though careful, he quickly peeled some potatoes and, after cleaning some carrots and cauliflower, sliced everything up and threw them into the now boiling water. He figured Luke was sitting in the living room, but as he couldn‟t hear anything above the music, he could only guess. As a result he nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a faint brush against his arm. “Do you want me to set the table?” “No!” Adam hadn‟t meant to sound sharp, but he was shocked that Luke had managed to sneak up on him like that and had gotten close enough to touch him. It hadn‟t been skin that had brushed against him, but the effect was still as staggering. A warm tingle started up his arm and spread to encompass the rest of his body, finally settling itself in his cock, which still hadn‟t gotten over its earlier stimulation. He sucked in a deep breath and tried again. “Sorry, but I prefer to do it myself. That way I can place everything exactly as I need it.”
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Luke was still standing close enough for Adam to get his scent. Tantalizingly male, warm and musky with a hint of aftershave that smelled like the rain after a storm. He turned so he was facing the slightly smaller man. He knew he only had to reach out, take one step forward, anything, and he could touch Luke, but he wouldn‟t. Not yet. Probably not ever. He honestly didn‟t know if Luke was interested in him. How did one tell? What were the signs? How the hell was he supposed to find out? Unsure, Adam felt his confidence slip. “Here, you can watch the steaks.” Needing some space, he handed over the tongs and reached for a couple of glasses before grabbing the knives and forks he‟d already gotten out of the drawer. Then he hesitated. He needed to get out, but because this area of the kitchen was so narrow, Adam realized he‟d have to slide against Luke to do it. But the thought of doing that, of sliding his hard body against Luke‟s, had him going crazy in his head. “Um, excuse me,” he said before turning sideways and digging his back into the granite benchtop. All Luke needed to do was move a couple of inches over, and Adam would have been fine, or as close to fine as it was possible to get under the circumstances. Instead, as Adam attempted to squeeze by, he felt Luke deliberately press his hip into his groin. Liquid heat instantly pooled in his thighs, and his cock took another turn at sentry duty. Torn between continuing on and pretending nothing had happened or asking Luke if this was what he thought it was, Adam chickened out and took another step sideways and wondered how it was possible to groan silently. He managed to put the glasses and cutlery onto the table without dropping anything and set them out in their precise locations so he could find them easily. Then unable to stand any longer, his legs suddenly weak, he collapsed onto a chair and put his head in his hands. Oh, God. Was Luke really attracted to him? The possibilities made Adam‟s head spin and his cock ache even more. But what if he was wrong? What if everything Luke had done was totally innocent? It wasn‟t as if Adam had any experience with this kind of stuff. But that move in the kitchen, that was no accident, was it? Confused, hesitant, Adam didn‟t know what to do, what to say. The only way of finding out for sure if Luke was gay was to ask him. Then Adam almost laughed. Since when was he brave enough to do something like that?
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Chapter Two “The steaks are done. Do you want me to put them on the plates?” Luke tried to stop his hands from shaking, tried to stop the tremor in his voice. He looked over at Adam and wondered what the fuck he‟d just done that for. Was he mad or just fucking stupid? He hadn‟t needed to test Adam like that, hadn‟t needed to prove to himself that Adam was gay. He hadn‟t needed to make a fool of himself either. It had achieved nothing, except possibly give Adam a false impression that was only going to put a bigger strain on both of them. As much as he wanted Adam, having a relationship with him was out of the question. It wasn‟t an option, and Luke had known it before he made a move. His life was a mess—the fact that he was here was proof of that—and he just wasn‟t suitable for Adam. Adam was refined, gentle, kind, whereas Luke knew he was damaged goods with a temper and a disregard for what was right and wrong. So why had he done it? Why? Because he just hadn‟t been able to resist. “You having juice or water, or something else?” he asked, hoping the simple question would break the tension in the room. “Juice.” Adam straightened his shoulders, but he didn‟t get up. Luke grabbed a bottle from the fridge and brought it to the table. “Would you like me to pour?” Luke felt his heart plummet as he looked down at the other man. Adam‟s face was ashen. “It‟s okay. I‟ll do it.” Adam reached out to take the bottle, and Luke passed it to him. He sincerely regretted trying to find out if Adam was gay like that. He could have just asked, though it wouldn‟t have made the blindest bit of difference. It didn‟t matter if Adam was attracted to him; Luke damn well knew nothing could come of it. He went back to the kitchen and grabbed the plates, setting one down in front of Adam. He hadn‟t really considered Adam‟s feelings. Adam may not have wanted anyone to know he was gay. God, what a fucking mess. Luke sat down and watched as Adam picked up his knife and fork. “Your steak is bottom left, carrots on top, cauliflower next to them, and potatoes on the right. The sauce is all over it,” he said automatically. He should go, he realized, give Adam some time to get over his embarrassment. But he didn‟t want to go. Selfishly he wanted to stay, wanted to be with Adam for as long as possible, before Adam‟s politeness ran out and he told him to get lost.
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Adam lifted his head, his smile a little strained, but there nonetheless. “Thank you.” Luke bit his lip, on the verge of apologizing for his tactless ploy but deciding he didn‟t want to embarrass Adam further or take the risk of pushing him away. “Do you cook for yourself often?” he asked out of something to do, something to say. “No, I normally have this chef that comes in.” It took Luke a couple of seconds to realize Adam was joking. Shocked that Adam could find some humor in this situation, Luke stared at him. Adam grinned, the dimple creasing his left cheek, his eyes bright, like jewels flashing in the sun. Luke‟s fingers curled around the edge of the table, anchoring him in reality. He took a deep breath, forcing himself not to react, but he couldn‟t help an answering grin. “No, seriously.” Adam shrugged. “I order in about three times a week. Other days I can just have an omelet or a microwave meal. Tonight I felt like something thick and juicy.” Luke‟s mouth went dry. He knew Adam hadn‟t meant it the way it sounded, but he couldn‟t help wondering if Adam had figured out he was gay too. It would have been pretty obvious after the incident in the kitchen, but Adam could have just thought it was an accident. No, Adam wasn‟t stupid, and Luke had been hard when he‟d pressed against him. Adam couldn‟t have failed to notice something like that. Adam noticed everything. Was Adam flirting with him? Surely he knew that had to be a big mistake. Watching him carefully, not sure what reaction he was looking for, and knowing he shouldn‟t even try to provoke one, Luke grabbed his fork. “I like meat too,” he said before holding his breath. And then Adam gave a slow, sexy smile that was unmistakably confident and calculated. Luke let his breath out on a groan, and Adam‟s smile deepened. Shit, this was not good. He knew he shouldn‟t have done anything, said anything. He damn well knew he shouldn‟t have agreed to stay for dinner, but after the way Adam had reacted when Luke had said his name, it had been impossible not to. So what was he supposed to do now? As a distraction he cut into his steak and took a bite, but he couldn‟t concentrate on his food. His every thought was fixed firmly on Adam. And Adam‟s seriously hot smile. It was now obvious the attraction between them was mutual, but there was no way he could act on it. Or could he? Despite his knowing how stupid it was, that one unbidden thought wouldn‟t go away. He was wrong for Adam, but he wanted him desperately. Just being this close to him turned Luke on. Luke took in a deep breath, noticing the quick alertness on Adam‟s face. So what if he did decide to act on it? How would he approach him? Usually, whenever he wanted sex he‟d go to Sydney‟s Kings Cross, stand in a bar, and wait until someone picked him up. In the past he‟d never been short of partners whenever he‟d
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gone looking, but he‟d never had to actually make a move toward one. And in those circumstances everyone knew the score. A bar was a pickup joint, a place to find easy sex, and with his pretty-boy looks, it had been easy. Used to be easy, Luke reminded himself. Not anymore, probably never again. He sighed, and Adam turned to face him, a question in his eyes. Luke wasn‟t about to tell him what he was thinking about. Adam would probably be shocked if he knew how Luke normally found his sexual partners. Adam, Luke realized, was definitely the relationship type of guy, and what Luke could offer him was only a quick fuck. Maybe he should go now, before this got any more complicated, but as he stared into those aqua eyes, Luke decided he still didn‟t want to go just yet. “Do you want to know what I look like?” he asked, thinking of something that would allow him to talk to Adam a bit longer. Also, the idea that Adam didn‟t know had been bugging him. If Adam was attracted to him, it had obviously nothing to do with his looks, and Luke wondered what it was that Adam had seemed to find desirable about him. Adam put down his knife and fork, his meal nearly finished. Luke realized he‟d barely touched his. “I know what you look like.” “You do? Did Jackie tell you?” Adam smiled. “No.” Confused, Luke shook his head. “Then how?” “Guess.” Luke couldn‟t. How did a blind man know what someone looked like? He knew some could perceive a face by touching it, but as that hadn‟t happened, he had no idea. Then he remembered that Adam had made him figure out how he knew where everything was in relation to each other, and he wondered if Adam had used something similar to work out what he looked like. It still didn‟t make a whole lot of sense, but he knew enough about Adam to realize that he wouldn‟t make a statement without being able to back it up. Intrigued, he sat back in his chair and watched Adam‟s face intently. “Describe me, then,” he said. Adam grinned and pushed his plate away so he could lean on the table with his arms. “You‟re five foot nine, slim but toned. Dark hair, olive skin, and you have dark, chocolate brown eyes.” Luke wasn‟t sure if he was shocked or amused. “You have to tell me how you did that.” Grin widening, Adam sat forward in his seat. “Your height is easy. I‟ve learned to judge that from the position of a voice. Your skin coloring and hair is kind of an educated guess. You have Italian parentage, which is why I assumed dark. That‟s also why I guessed your eyes are dark brown.” He paused, and Luke saw a tiny hesitation before he carried on. “At least that‟s the color I‟ve imagined your eyes to be.”
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Luke didn‟t miss the inflection. Adam had been thinking about him physically, and Luke wondered what other parts Adam had been thinking about. He smiled but then was struck by something else Adam had said. “How did you know my parents were Italian?” Suddenly Adam looked uncomfortable. “Your name, Ramano. It‟s Italian, but I also heard it in your voice. You have a slight accent on some of your words.” “An accent?” This time Luke was shocked. How had Adam picked that up? “Yes, it sounds like you were around Italian-speaking people until you were eight or nine.” Letting out the breath he‟d been holding, Luke struggled with the memories of his childhood, of that fateful day. “My parents were killed in a car crash just before my ninth birthday,” he told Adam, allowing the other man to know he was right and purging himself of the pain that always followed when he thought of the loss of his family. He‟d had a long time to remove himself from the bitterness, and he rarely let it affect him anymore. But sometimes, at night he would think of them and remember the good times he‟d had, of how fun and loving his parents were, of how much he had loved both them and his two younger sisters. Adam was still facing him, those aqua eyes managing to convey Adam‟s understanding. “My parents are dead too. My mom died ten years ago, my dad a couple of years later. He pined away, couldn‟t bear to live without her.” Adam thinned his lips a little in regret, then turned up one side of his mouth. “It happens.” “Life can suck, can‟t it?” Luke said. “So that‟s when you try and make the best of what you‟ve got.” And that was what Adam had done, Luke realized. It had to have taken some guts to do what Adam did, face each day, not as a challenge but as something to look forward to. Luke went through each day wishing it would end. Adam seemed to know exactly what he wanted out of life, and he‟d worked hard to get it despite his disability, whereas Luke was nearly twenty-two and couldn‟t even finish his apprenticeship. He‟d spent nearly four years trying to make something of himself, and what had he gotten for trying? Nothing except a criminal record. Suddenly he felt more inadequate than ever. Nothing he‟d done in his life amounted to anything. Even when he‟d made an effort, he‟d been slapped down, disgraced, and humiliated. And now he was a criminal. How could Adam want someone like him? Agitated, Luke stood up and grabbed the plates off the table. He scraped the leftovers into the bin in the kitchen and quickly washed up. Then he picked up the pots and pan and washed them too. If Adam knew he was upset, he didn‟t ask him why, which was the way Luke wanted it. He wouldn‟t be able to explain it anyway. Finished at the sink, he turned around to find something else to do. There was nothing. Nothing to keep him here except Adam, and he already knew nothing was ever going to happen between them.
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“I‟d better get going,” he said, heading toward the front door. “It‟s getting late.” He pulled on his socks, then stuck his feet into his boots, not bothering to lace them up. He was prepared to go unless Adam said something. Adam never said a word, and Luke felt a sick kind of pain start somewhere in his chest. But maybe Adam also knew that despite their attraction, nothing could or should come of it. He opened the door and turned to look back at him. “I‟ll see you tomorrow,” he said. Then he closed the door behind him with a click that sounded too final.
*** “Adam? Adam. Fuck! Adam!” The pounding on the door continued until Adam decided it was worse than the pounding in his head. “Stop it!” The sound of his own voice made him wince, and Adam groaned, holding his fingers up to his temple but knowing nothing was going to take this headache away. “Adam, let me in. I‟m sorry, okay?” Hot needles of pain shot through the back of his skull to join the viselike grip it already had. Adam squeezed his eyes shut, not sure if the plea in Luke‟s voice made him feel any worse. All day he‟d waited for the call from Jackie telling him Luke wasn‟t going to come back. All day he‟d waited in an agony of confusion, not knowing what he‟d done wrong. Luke had walked out, and Adam hadn‟t gotten a clue why. He thought Luke had been interested in him, but then he‟d withdrawn, become agitated and stressed, and Adam worried he‟d said something to annoy him. He‟d been afraid to say anything else, and even when Luke was on the verge of leaving and Adam had wanted desperately to ask him to stay, he‟d been afraid. “Adam, please.” Knowing he was going to have to let the man in, he carefully sat up, pushing back the nausea, and stood while holding the back of the lounge for support. He managed to make it to the front door and open it before Luke started pounding on the timber again. “Fuck, man. You look like shit.” Adam didn‟t bother answering; he just turned and headed back to the lounge. The front door closed, and he heard Luke remove his boots before following. “What‟s wrong?” Luke‟s concern was obvious, and Adam decided not to be petty, though he knew he had every right to be. “Migraine.” “Have you taken anything for it? Is it your eyes? Can I do anything?” “Stop talking.” He felt Luke hovering in front of him, the man‟s anxiety tangible. Why? Why did Luke come back? To taunt him?
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When the phone call hadn‟t come, Adam had begun to hope. Maybe Luke would come back as he‟d promised; maybe they‟d get a chance to sort out what had happened last night. There had been something between them. Adam knew there had, and he‟d wanted to explore it further, hoped Luke wanted to as well. Then Luke hadn‟t turned up for his community service, and Adam had known then he would never see Luke again. It had hurt, the pain physical. His headache had started soon after, and now it was a raging migraine. “I did this to you, didn‟t I?” Luke sounded upset, worried. “Fuck, Adam, I‟m sorry.” Adam wanted to assure him it was all right, but he didn‟t have it in him, not right then. He still felt hurt. “Why were you late?” It was an easier question to ask. A safer one to have answered. “My car broke down.” “You‟re a mechanic!” “No, I‟m not. Anyway, I needed a part, and I was halfway between here and home and was stuck. I had to wait for a towie.” “If that was all it was, then why didn‟t you call?” “Because I don‟t have your number. I left a message for Jackie telling her I was going to be late, but she didn‟t call me back.” Luke‟s voice dipped, and Adam realized he‟d knelt down in front of him. “I‟m sorry,” Luke said again, but this time Adam knew he wasn‟t talking about being late. “It‟s okay.” “No, it‟s not. I shouldn‟t have walked out last night.” Adam didn‟t want to ask, didn‟t think he was ready for the answer, but he really wanted to know. “Why did you?” “I was confused.” Confused? Yeah, well, the feeling was mutual. “About me?” Luke sighed, the sound a soft lament of regret. “Yeah. I want you, and I suspect you want me, but we can‟t do anything about it.” “You want me?” Adam‟s stomach let loose a flight of butterflies at Luke‟s confession, then instantly clenched in painful defeat as the rest of Luke‟s statement hit home. “Well, you have a funny way of showing it.” “I didn‟t mean to hurt you. I just…” There was a brief brush against his leg, and Adam suspected Luke had reached out to touch him but changed his mind. “It won‟t work,” Luke finished. Anger pulsed through Adam‟s veins, pushing his pain higher. Luke was so close, close enough to touch, but the distance between them was insurmountable. He knew what was coming, hated asking for it, and braced for the answer. “Why not?” Luke sighed again, and he seemed to hesitate before answering. “Because after my community service is up, I‟m leaving.”
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“Oh.” Adam hadn‟t thought of that. He hadn‟t considered Luke leaving. For one sharp moment he wondered if that really was the only reason Luke had walked out. “So my blindness had got nothing to do with it?” “What? No! Why the hell would you think that?” Adam didn‟t bother answering. The answer was obvious; his blindness had a lot to do about everything. “So why couldn‟t you tell me this last night?” There was another fleeting brush against his leg. Adam almost reached out to capture Luke‟s hand, almost, but he didn‟t have the nerve. “Because I wasn‟t sure how you‟d react. Despite wanting you, I couldn‟t just fuck you, then leave. I couldn‟t do that to you.” Adam‟s confusion doubled. If his blindness wasn‟t the issue, then what was? “Why?” “Because you‟re too nice.” If his head wasn‟t hurting so much, Adam thought he might have been able to make some sense out of this conversation. “So you‟re telling me you won‟t have sex with me because I‟m too nice?” “Yes.” Adam hadn‟t heard anything so ridiculous in his life. “Are you kidding me?” “Come on, Adam, think about it. You‟re not the type of guy who would have sex with someone knowing they aren‟t going to stick around.” The truth of that assertion struck Adam hard. Luke was right—he wouldn‟t, or at least he wouldn‟t if that person was anyone other than Luke. “You don‟t know that,” he hedged. “So you‟re telling me you would? You‟d have sex with me even after I‟ve told you I‟ll be leaving in three weeks?” Now that he‟d asked, Adam didn‟t have to think about it. Sex with Luke was something he wouldn‟t turn down no matter the circumstance. Luke thought he was too nice? Maybe he was, but he wasn‟t stupid. “Yes,” he said, answering Luke‟s question. “Fuck.” “That‟s what I was hoping.” Adam had to smile, despite the pain. He leaned back against the lounge and tried to ignore the strong needle points that had dug themselves into his skull. Trust him to have a headache now. “Is it bad?” Adam wasn‟t going to lie. Luke could probably see it anyway. “Yes.” “Can I do anything?” Adam almost laughed. There were lots of things Luke could do, but there was no way Adam would ask him. Luke still hadn‟t said if he was willing to have sex with him, and Adam wasn‟t going to presume, not again. “I‟ll be all right,” he said, sensing Luke‟s need to appease. There was another brush against his leg. Adam bit back a moan. Luke was going to have to stop doing that unless he was willing to
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take it further. Then he heard Luke stand up, his footsteps taking him to the back of the lounge. “Lean forward,” Luke instructed. Adam hesitated, surprised, and then did as Luke asked, sudden anticipation warring with the pain in his head. Luke was going to touch him. A sharp, throbbing need began to build in his body. He felt half numb, half incredibly aware. He‟d never been touched by a man before, and he wasn‟t sure what to do, how to react. “Relax,” Luke said just before his warm, hard fingers wrapped themselves around Adam‟s shoulders and started kneading into the tense muscle. Adam managed to stifle a moan as heat penetrated through shirt and skin and into bone. Despite feeling self-conscious, Adam relaxed as Luke‟s hands skillfully worked out the tension, the pain. “Better?” His headache had eased a little, but his body was now feeling the effects of Luke‟s touch. It had tightened, become needy. He wanted to ask Luke to run those hot hands over his chest, down to his stomach, then to slide them between his thighs. He wanted to, but with no experience, with nothing to guide him, Adam merely sat still and nodded. A light chuckle disturbed the air beside his cheek. Luke had bent down and put his face close to Adam‟s. “They always say sex is good for a headache.” The whispered words were like molten fire rushing through Adam‟s veins. This time he didn‟t stop his moan as he felt the warm, wet swipe of Luke‟s tongue across the back of his neck before firm lips pressed against the same spot. The physical touch sent a jolt of lust through Adam‟s body, shocking him. He groaned aloud, unable to contain the need to express how good it felt, how much he wanted more, but that was when the images started. The darkness that was his vision shockingly disappeared, and Adam was suddenly experiencing sharp, bright colors that flooded his mind. Red, orange, and gold tendrils spread over a sky that seemed to glow with colors that were fantastically brilliant, striking, and just as Adam struggled to comprehend what was happening, he realized he was witnessing a sunset. He‟d never seen anything like it before, and he gasped, stunned. “Luke?” Before he could react, Luke‟s lips moved against his skin again, and the image changed. A yellow car now filled his vision, a snapshot of gleaming paint and chrome work. It was vivid, realistic, and if Adam hadn‟t known better, he would have sworn he was reliving a memory. “Luke?” Another swipe of Luke‟s tongue, and Adam was close to telling him to stop as a fresh green field edged with bushes and trees replaced the vision of the car. Recognition should have been impossible—seeing it should have been impossible— but Adam couldn‟t dispute the deeply embedded picture that seemed to hang
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suspended in the middle of his head. Where the hell was this coming from? This couldn‟t be happening, not after all this time, not with Luke. Luke‟s hands swept down the front of his chest, and he groaned. Arousal fought with confusion. The incredible heat that suffused his body as Luke‟s palms slid sensually over his skin almost drowned out the next colorful vision, but the image was so stark, so graphic that Adam was swamped by it, and nothing else could penetrate the depiction in his mind. He groaned again, but this time it was because of what he saw, not what he felt. “Luke…?” Obviously Luke didn‟t know what he was doing, and the images started to come faster, flashing bright and intense, one after the other until they converged to become nothing more than a kaleidoscope of colors and shattered visions. It was too much. He‟d never experienced anything like this before, not this strong, and unable to handle the overload, Adam cried out in both shock and pain, pulling away from Luke. And as suddenly as it all began it stopped. Blackness reclaimed Adam‟s mind, and for once he was thankful. Then he passed out.
*** Pain became secondary to the disorientation that battered his senses. For a start Adam realized he was no longer sitting up. He felt the rug beneath his cheek and a hard hand on his shoulder. Flickering remnants of the images that had filled his head seemed content to tease while Luke‟s frantic voice reminded Adam as to why he was on the floor. “Adam! Adam, answer me!” Adam opened his eyes, though of course that wasn‟t going to do him any good, but it would reassure Luke. “Are you all right?” He didn‟t want to nod, because he wasn‟t sure if his headache had gone or had only been temporarily beaten into submission by what had just happened. “Yeah, I‟m fine.” “You‟re not fucking fine. You‟re on the fucking floor!” “I‟m fine. Just give me a minute.” “What happened?” That was the multimillion-dollar question. What had happened was something that hadn‟t occurred since he and Michael were kids. He sucked in a deep breath and tested the strength of his limbs. “Help me up, will you?” No sooner had he asked than Luke put his arms around Adam‟s shoulders and hauled him into a sitting position. Luke grabbed Adam‟s hand and placed it on the lounge. “Push up. I‟ll support you,” he said. Adam did as he was told, surprised at Luke‟s strength. He had more muscle in his arms and chest than Adam had first assumed.
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Seated, he rested his head on the back of the lounge, Luke sitting beside him. Dizzy, limbs weak, his headache starting up again, Adam felt like vomiting. It was only the fact that Luke would see him doing it and someone would have to clean up the mess that stopped him. “Can you get me a drink of water, please? And two tablets. They‟re in the first left drawer above the bench.” Luke got up carefully, and then Adam heard him almost running to the kitchen. After that he tuned out, his focus becoming internal. What had happened? He remembered the feel of Luke‟s mouth at the back of his neck, and then the images had started. Images he should never have seen, never have experienced, not from Luke anyway. Confused, shocked, Adam closed his eyes and tried to understand what it meant. Physically, he hadn‟t seen images like that since he was a child. Even then they hadn‟t been as sharp or vivid or as full of color. When Michael had passed him images, they had been hazy, foggy. Even the colors he‟d managed to convey had been washed-out and lackluster. What Luke had sent him was like comparing an old black-and-white photo to a full Technicolor movie. But how? How the hell had Luke managed to transmit into his mind? He‟d thought only Michael was able to send him images. Obviously he was wrong. “Here.” Luke was suddenly there beside him, gently placing a glass of cool water in his hand. Grateful, Adam took it and swallowed half the contents before holding out his other hand for the tablets. “You‟ve got ten left,” Luke said. “I put them back in the same place.” “Thank you.” Luke‟s consideration was unexpected but was something Adam was really grateful for. Not many people understood that he had to have things put back exactly where he could find them. “Now, are you going to tell me what happened?” Luke sounded anxious. He crowded Adam, putting his hand on his thigh. It was warm and heavy and comforting. Adam closed his eyes for a minute. He couldn‟t tell Luke about the images—he wouldn‟t believe him. After all this time he hardly believed them himself. “Is it because I kissed you?” Now Luke sounded worried. “You could say that,” Adam prevaricated. “It was that bad?” Adam opened his eyes and faced Luke. The concern and trepidation in his voice made Adam shake his head even though it hurt to do so. “No. It was the most powerful and profound experience of my life.” And that was the biggest understatement of his life. Nothing could have prepared him for that, nothing. “Well, that‟s good to know. But you still look like shit.”
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Adam closed his eyes again and smiled. “Can you get me to bed? I need to lie down and sleep. This is not going to go away on its own.” And he needed to think, think about what those images meant and how the hell Luke had given them to him. Luke helped him stand, and though he normally hated having to be led anywhere, he appreciated it now. Luke held his hand and linked their fingers together. It seemed such a natural gesture for Luke that Adam didn‟t want to tell him it wasn‟t how he usually accepted someone‟s assistance. It was only a minor detail, and anyway it felt nice. In his bedroom he headed for his bed and sat down on the edge. “Do you want to get undressed?” Adam would have laughed aloud at Luke‟s optimism, but it would have hurt too much. “No, but you can stay with me if you want.” Luke‟s presence was soothing; just having him close made him feel better. “You sure that‟s a good idea?” “I promise not to ravish you.” “That wasn‟t what I was worried about. I might up end up ravishing you.” “You have my permission, but can you wait until my headache has gone?” Luke‟s light laughter sent a warm shiver up Adam‟s spine. Oh, this headache was so not fair. He lay down, closing his eyes once again, and patted the mattress at his side. “Just stay until I fall asleep.” The pain still had a viselike grip, but the pressure was easing, and when Luke lay down beside him, turning on his side so he was facing him, Adam felt it ease just a little bit more. “Just until I fall asleep,” he murmured again. “Okay, but Adam? When you wake up I‟m going to kiss you again.” Adam‟s stomach did a little flip at Luke‟s promise, and though it was what he wanted, he worried. Was it so bad of him to want Luke, knowing it was only for the short term? What did that say of him? What kind of man did that make him? He knew he wouldn‟t be the first man to take what he could get, but that wasn‟t who he was. It wasn‟t who he wanted to be, but he hadn‟t been able to resist the chance to experience the one thing he‟d been longing for from the first moment he realized he was gay. Quite simply he hadn‟t been able to resist Luke. He wanted Luke to kiss him; he wanted Luke to do a hell of a lot more than that. “Is that all?” Though he had no idea where he got the nerve to ask such a question, he was glad he had when Luke giggled, the sound childishly endearing. “No, that won‟t be all.” Luke‟s hand rested lightly on his stomach, the pressure just enough to have Adam‟s body responding. He shifted slightly closer to Luke and was rewarded when Luke slid his hand over his waist. His fingers tightened a little, almost a caress, almost a comforting squeeze. “Get some sleep. We‟ll talk when you wake up.” Talk. Oh, yeah, they had to talk, all right, but not about the same thing Luke was probably thinking. Luke shifted again, and as he settled down, Adam thought
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about what had happened when Luke had touched him. The images, the visions, were shocking, but not because it had never happened before, but because Adam had never thought it would happen again. What he had with Michael he‟d believed to be a unique bond just between brothers. Born blind he‟d learned to live with sounds, smell, touch, and taste. And then Michael had come along and given him something else, something more, something no blind child had ever been witness to. Michael had given him the pictures in his mind. He had grown up seeing what Michael imagined, and it had given him an edge that had allowed him to experience life a whole different way, but over the years the connection they shared had faded and eventually stopped. It was something Adam had accepted, grateful enough for what he‟d already had. But now, somehow, he‟d found a new connection, a stronger, more powerful one. The only problem was he didn‟t know if it would last, or if it had been a onetime-only thing. God, he hoped not. Being able to see through Luke, being able to see what Luke saw…the possibilities were astounding. And what about what he‟d already seen? The car, the sunset, the green field? All of them colorful, all of them clear, all of them amazing. But that last one, the one before he‟d passed out—it had been the most detailed, the most potent. It was of two men making love. One was obviously Luke; the other, well the other was an angel. Breathtakingly beautiful, with wings spread impossibly wide, the angel was poised over a body that was open and inviting. Adam smiled but then wondered if that was how Luke saw him, and wondered how on earth he was supposed to live up to that kind of expectation. Despite the pain in his head and the thoughts whirling around in his mind, Adam felt himself drifting off to sleep. He fought it for a while, but he could feel the unending pull that drew him slowly under, and eventually he gave up, letting his body finally float free. When he woke up, Luke was wrapped around him. The shock stole his breath, until Adam slowly became used to the press of the hot body. Well, as used to it as was possible to get considering he‟d never had a man pressed up against him so intimately. “Luke?” When Luke didn‟t respond, Adam shook him a little. Luke protested and snuggled in closer, the tiny changes in pressure on Adam‟s body sending tingles of awareness to flit and flitter through every nerve ending he possessed. Adam sucked in a deep breath, stunned. When Luke stopped moving, Adam slowly took stock. Luke‟s chest was pressed against his side, and he could feel his steady breathing and the heavy, rhythmic beating of his heart. One of Luke‟s arms was flung over Adam‟s waist, the weight and strength of it reassuring. But Adam‟s main focus lay where Luke had placed his leg. It was wedged between his thighs, the knee bent and the hard length pressed tight to his groin. He didn‟t know whether Luke had deliberately draped over him this way or whether it had been an unconscious act when he slept. Either way,
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Luke‟s need for body contact was pretty strong, and the effect on Adam was pretty clear. His cock filled and swelled in direct response, tingling in a way that was all too familiar. Unable to help it, Adam rubbed along his thickening length, then instantly wished he hadn‟t when it became increasingly hard and therefore uncomfortable. With his jeans now too tight, Adam undid the top button and slid the zip down, giving his erection more room. Luke stirred again, and Adam held his breath. He didn‟t want to wake him up yet; he wanted to savor the moment a little longer, and he wanted to explore a little first. But once again, fear made him hesitate. All his life Adam had existed with a constant thread of apprehension. His blindness had been an important factor. Though he‟d tried not to allow it to stop him enjoying what he could, doing what he could, it had been restrictive, confining, and sometimes debilitating. Most times he overcame it, but it was always there, always reminding him he could never be whole, never be normal. It had made him more cautious, more timid, more afraid to take a proactive stance with his life. He‟d nearly lost a chance with Luke because of it. If Luke hadn‟t had the courage to admit he wanted Adam, Adam knew he would never have had the nerve to approach him. Luke‟s visions played in his mind once again. That last scene, him as an angel making love to Luke, was the one that grabbed his imagination. He wanted Luke, wanted to make love to him, not as some pedestal-mounted entity, but as a man with all his faults, all his inhibitions. He wanted Luke to know him as he was, accept who he was, and want him in return, but in order to do that, Adam knew he had to open himself up and take a risk. He had to put aside his fears and start taking control. And taking control started now. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Adam very carefully slid his right hand down Luke‟s back, his fingers skimming over the contours and ridges until they encountered the edge of Luke‟s T-shirt, which had ridden up slightly. Wavering for only a second, Adam reached lower, his sensitive fingertips picking up the heat of Luke‟s skin before he felt the smooth, silky texture. Adam almost groaned, but though he managed to stop the primal impulse, he couldn‟t stop the sudden acceleration of his heart or the hot, thick pulse of his cock. Luke stirred again, but Adam inched his fingers lower and then slid the tips beneath the rough fabric of Luke‟s jeans. The curve of Luke‟s ass flared under his light probing, and Adam was tempted to go lower, but that might wake Luke up, and he didn‟t want to do that, not yet, not while he had this chance to discover more. Leaving his hand where it was, he gingerly brought the other one up to smooth over Luke‟s arm and over his shoulder. The dense amount of muscle he‟d noticed earlier was still evident. Either Luke worked out or his work was physical. Adam knew Luke was a mechanic, and he supposed some aspects of his job would include heavy lifting. Regardless, Luke‟s upper-body strength was a surprise, a nice one,
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and despite knowing he was taking advantage of Luke and feeling a little guilty because of it, Adam continued to explore, finding one pert nipple, hard pecs, a rigid collarbone, a smooth neck, and soft, soft hair. Allowing his fingers to thread through the silky thickness, Adam became aware of a not so subtle change in Luke‟s body. The soft warmth nestled snugly against his hip began to harden and swell, turning into a steel rod with a heat that felt like a raging inferno. “I see your headache‟s gone,” Luke said, wiggling his hips slightly so the hand Adam had down Luke‟s jeans rubbed up against the cleft of his ass. Adam sucked in a sharp breath, halfway between snatching his hand out and thrusting it deeper. He held still, overly conscious of the way Luke was plastered against him, of the hard cock pressed at his side, of the hand Luke clutched around his waist. Luke didn‟t change position except to lift his head slightly. “Looks like you got yourself comfortable as well,” Luke teased, amusement plain in his voice. Adam wasn‟t going to be shy about how much he was turned on; there was no point, not with Luke. “Couldn‟t help it. It was hard not to react with your thigh jammed into my groin.” “Too much?” “Not enough. I‟d like something else between my thighs right now.” Luke laughed, the sound sweet, adorable, but with a sexy edge to it that had Adam growing harder. He moaned. “Are you going to kiss me, like you promised?” he asked, wanting to feel Luke‟s mouth on his, wanting to feel that warm touch, those moist lips. Luke shifted, removing his leg from between Adam‟s thighs and sliding against Adam‟s body, moving up. “Turn on your side,” he said, his face now only inches away. Adam twisted and felt the hard length of Luke waiting for him. Luke‟s arm slid back over Adam‟s waist and pulled him a little closer. “Why don‟t you get comfortable too?” Adam asked, eager to feel more of Luke‟s skin, though he wasn‟t sure how much he could actually take so soon. Luke‟s hand quickly snaked between them, and Adam felt him fumbling for a second before Luke allowed a small hiss of breath to escape at the same time Adam felt the touch of something hot and wet against the exposed part of his cock. Adam sucked in his own hissed breath. “Luke?” “Yeah, it is, just the tip.” Adam groaned. “Jesus, my arousal level just went up ten notches.” Luke chuckled. “Mine went off the scale.” Adam let out another moan. “Will you kiss me already?” “Don‟t be so impatient.”
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“I‟ve waited so long for this.” Adam tried not to concentrate on where their bodies met, because despite how incredible it felt, he just wanted Luke‟s mouth on his. That was what he‟d been dreaming about most, his first kiss. Luke stirred beside him. “You‟re a virgin, aren‟t you?” Oh great. Knowing this would have to come up eventually, Adam ignored his unease and tried nonchalance. “Yes.” “Why?” Luke didn‟t sound concerned, just curious. “Kiss me first and then I‟ll tell you,” Adam said, hoping to get off the subject. He wasn‟t embarrassed by his lack of experience, just fed up with it. He wanted that to change most of all, and now. “Tell me first, and then I‟ll kiss you,” Luke deferred. Resigned, knowing he wasn‟t going to get what he wanted until he did, Adam shrugged his left shoulder. “I‟m not the type of person to go looking for sex.” “I figured that much out on my own. But surely someone has attracted you in the past?” Adam knew he had to be honest even though it would show how inexperienced he was. “No, no one.” “But you‟re attracted to me.” It wasn‟t a question, but Adam felt compelled to answer. “Yes.” “But you wouldn‟t make a pass at me?” Adam sighed. “No.” “Why?” “Because I‟m not brave enough.” After a couple of seconds, Adam frowned. “Are you smiling?” “Yes.” Luke‟s light laugh sent a shiver of desire racing down Adam‟s back. “I know you don‟t think this is funny, so why are you laughing?” “Because you have to be the most gorgeous guy I‟ve ever seen. I mean, you are incredibly hot. And I‟m going to be the one to pop your cherry.” “Oh, really nice expression, Luke.” Luke‟s laughter this time was deep and throaty, and Adam‟s body tightened in response. Then Luke‟s face came up to within a couple of inches. Adam could feel his warm breath fanning his cheek. “Don‟t tell me you‟re not brave, Adam. You have to be one of the bravest men I‟ve ever met.” Adam ignored the comment. He knew where his bravery began and ended. Despite only moments ago deciding he was going to take more control over his life, he knew he still had some issues to work out. Confidence was one of them. “Can you kiss me now? Please.” The arm around Adam‟s waist tightened. “You know, you could always kiss me.”
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Chapter Three His mouth suddenly going dry, Adam felt a stupid kind of panic hit him. What if he did it wrong? What if Luke didn‟t like the way he kissed? The panic must have shown on his face, because he felt Luke inch closer. “How about I put my lips on yours, and then you can take over?” Luke‟s soft, soothing tone didn‟t do much to alleviate the hard thumping of Adam‟s heart or the light tremor running through his body, but at least it forced him to allay his fear, because there was one thing he couldn‟t miss from Luke‟s voice—Luke wasn‟t going to let Adam‟s inexperience stop him from enjoying the kiss. “Okay.” Luke‟s arm tightened around him, and then he closed the gap between them. Adam concentrated on Luke‟s breathing and the tiny sound he made at the back of his throat as their lips finally met. Luke‟s lips were firm and warm, and the first press of them against his own sent Adam‟s pulse into overdrive. He moaned and then moved his lips experimentally, pressing harder before feathering back. Luke smiled, and Adam‟s confidence grew. He swiped his tongue over Luke‟s lower lip before dragging it into his mouth and sucking on it. Luke groaned and pressed closer. Adam put his hand to the back of Luke‟s head and held him; then with courage borne from need, he pushed his tongue between Luke‟s open lips, and he plunged deep into the hot, wet recess of his mouth. Adam knew he groaned, but it was lost as Luke opened up for him and allowed him to explore the velvet of his tongue, playing with it until Luke followed the tantalizing dance and Adam could draw it deep into his own mouth, tasting the sweet, drugging essence that was Luke. Sharp waves of pleasure spread throughout Adam‟s body, concentrating on little areas like his chest and stomach, the ends of his fingers, and his balls. So caught up with the kiss, Adam pushed Luke back until he was half lying over him. Luke clutched Adam‟s waist and arched up with his hips, moaning as Adam lodged a leg between his thighs. Arousal spiked through Adam, sharp and sweet, taking him beyond anything he‟d experienced before. He rubbed up against Luke‟s hard body while plundering his mouth, desperate to get as much from Luke as Luke was willing to give.
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Firm hands slid over his ass, and Adam surged his hips forward, gasping as wet heat touched him. “We need to get our clothes off,” he said urgently. “Are you sure?” Adam frowned. “Aren‟t you?” “Hell, yeah, but I don‟t want to rush you.” Luke‟s concern was sweet, but Adam was way past the need to take this slowly. “Get them off,” he growled, pulling back to give Luke room. “No, wait. I want to do it.” Pushing up he sat on his haunches and quickly undid the buttons of his shirt, slipping it off and flinging it across the room. Then he reached for the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it up over his head, throwing it in the same general direction as his shirt. “Oh.” Luke‟s voice stopped him from reaching for his jeans. “What?” Luke‟s low groan had Adam worried for a second, but then he felt Luke move toward him. “You‟re better than I imagined,” Luke said as warm fingers softly stroked down the length of Adam‟s chest and stomach, the touch sending a shiver down his spine, which he didn‟t try to suppress. He wanted Luke to see what he did to him. Suddenly a single image flashed into Adam‟s mind. It was of him, standing naked, his cock fully erect, his sculptured body glistening but sans the angelic wings Luke had shown him earlier. For a moment he was caught up in the image, stunned by how graphic it was, how detailed. Then he grinned, relieved Luke no longer saw him as an angel and delighted their link had not been just a one-off. He knew he had to tell Luke about their connection and hoped Luke didn‟t think he was crazy. But not yet. Right now he had more important things to discuss. “Thanks. Now let‟s see if you‟re better than I imagined.” He reached for the edge of Luke‟s T-shirt to pull it off, but Luke pulled away, his hesitancy tangible. “Adam, wait.” Luke‟s voice shook with something that sounded like fear. Adam stilled his hand, waiting while his own fear, never too far from the surface, began to thread cold tendrils down his spine. Had Luke changed his mind? “I, um, have scars,” Luke said so quietly Adam barely heard him. “Scars?” “Yeah.” “And?” Adam wasn‟t quite sure what the problem was. Was Luke embarrassed by them? “Luke?” “They‟re not nice.” Luke‟s voice was a little stronger, but still whisper quiet. “That‟s the definition of a scar. But I don‟t get what‟s wrong.” “Because you can‟t see them, I kind of didn‟t think about it, but I only just realized you‟ll touch them.” “You don‟t want me to touch them?” “No, it‟s not that. I just… I don‟t want you to be grossed out by them.”
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“I won‟t be,” Adam quickly reassured him. Luke shifted slightly. “You sure?” The raw anxiety Adam heard in Luke‟s voice was heartrending, and Adam wondered if this had something to do with why Luke had always seemed so withdrawn. In answer he reached for Luke‟s T-shirt again and, when Luke didn‟t stop him, slowly pulled it off over his head. Even slower, Adam slid his hands around Luke‟s waist and then around to his back. Hard muscles covered by warm skin met his exploration. Adam smoothed his open palms higher, noting every contour, every sharply defined edge. He reached Luke‟s shoulders, and that was when Luke flinched. “Do they hurt?” Adam asked, worried he might be causing Luke pain. Luke shook his head. “No.” Reaching higher, Adam‟s fingertips encountered the lightly furrowed skin. The scar stretched across the width of Luke‟s back, high up on the tops of his shoulders. It was heavier on one side than the other and came around to the right side of his neck and partway down the front of his chest. Adam didn‟t know much about scars, but he could tell this was from a burn. Not deep, the skin not tight, and in Adam‟s opinion not all that noticeable, but Luke was obviously concerned with it. “How did you get it?” Luke‟s shoulders tensed beneath Adam‟s hands, and he could feel him struggling to answer. Adam was about to tell him it didn‟t matter when Luke‟s shoulders slumped. “I got caught in a fire.” Adam inwardly winced though he‟d guessed as much. “How?” Luke shook his head slightly. “I don‟t want to talk about it,” he said, his voice dropping so low that Adam barely caught the words. “That‟s okay. You don‟t have to if you don‟t want to,” Adam reassured him, but he was curious, curious about why Luke wouldn‟t talk about something so important. “You don‟t mind them?” Luke asked him now. “No, I don‟t mind them,” Adam answered him honestly. He smiled and then bent forward, capturing Luke‟s mouth with his own before planting a small kiss on the side of his neck where the scar started. Keeping his hands on Luke‟s shoulders, Adam placed another kiss on Luke‟s chest right over the thickest part of the scar; then he deliberately slid his tongue out and licked a slow trail back up to Luke‟s neck. Luke moaned and slowly relaxed. “I was afraid you‟d be put off.” Adam shook his head. “No. Not by something like that.” Luke stiffened slightly. “What would put you off?” Adam lifted his head, smiling. “Smelly feet. Can‟t stand them.”
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It took a second; then Luke laughed, his body finally releasing the built-up tension that hadn‟t been obliterated by Adam‟s kisses. Adam pulled Luke close, sliding a hand to the back of his neck. Warm lips met his, Luke‟s mouth opening up beneath him, his tongue begging Adam to suck on it. Luke made that sound at the back of his throat again, which did as much for Adam‟s arousal as the taste of Luke in his mouth. Breaking the kiss, Adam began trailing his hands lightly down Luke‟s back, using his fingertips to feel the ridges of his spine and the beautifully toned muscles that flexed and bunched as he explored. Luke‟s skin was warm, soft. It felt wonderful beneath his palms, but it wasn‟t just the texture Adam appreciated; it was the fact that Luke was allowing him to touch him, to discover, to feel. “Nice,” he murmured just before he swept both hands down the inside of Luke‟s jeans, spreading his fingers to grasp the firm curve of Luke‟s ass. Luke gasped and arched his back, the hard press of his cock grinding against Adam‟s. Adam took his mouth again and became lost in the taste of him. It was drugging, intoxicating, addictive, and Adam wanted more. “Lie down,” he said, urging Luke to lie in the middle of the bed. As Luke settled, Adam trailed a path along Luke‟s leg and thigh until he reached the open waistband of his jeans. “Okay?” he asked. “Yeah.” “Want me to continue?” “Fuck yeah.” Luke sounded breathless, and Adam wondered what it was like for him, to see a man poised above him with intent in his eyes. Maybe Luke couldn‟t read it in his eyes, but Adam sure as hell knew he had intent written clearly on his face. With a smile Luke could interpret only one way, Adam slowly ran one fingertip across the exposed skin of Luke‟s stomach. Muscles rippled beneath his touch, and he felt Luke catch and hold his breath. For one split second, Adam couldn‟t believe he was going to do this, that he was getting a chance to do this. He took a deep breath, and before he could change his mind, he hooked his fingers beneath Luke‟s jeans and underwear and slid them down his legs. Adam now had a naked man in his bed. He tried to calm himself, but his pulse was erratic, his hands were shaking, and his cock was busting to get out of his jeans. “Are you going to take them off?” There was a slight catch in Luke‟s voice, and Adam realized Luke was just as excited as he was. It made him feel a whole lot better about taking this one step further. He grinned. “You can‟t see mine until I see yours,” he said. “See?” He lifted his hands and wriggled his fingers. “My eyes,” he explained. “I want to see you, and in order to do that, I need to touch you.” He rested a hand on Luke‟s hip. “But you know that‟s what I‟ve been doing, right?”
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“Actually I thought you were just a touchy-feely kind of guy.” Adam laughed, suddenly feeling like everything he‟d ever wanted was right at his fingertips, literally. “You‟re going to regret that,” he said, and before Luke could react, Adam straddled his hips, pinning him down. It felt good, being in control like this, having a say in what he did and how he did it. He leaned forward and placed his hands on Luke‟s chest. One palm met smooth skin; the other met the slightly rougher area of Luke‟s scar. Without thought he gently rubbed over the edge with his thumb. “I‟m going to start with your face and work my way back down your chest.” He lifted his hands and brought them to Luke‟s face; then he bent over slightly and smiled. “And by the time I get to your cock, I‟ll be using my mouth as well.” Luke sucked in a deep breath, his chest and stomach shifting beneath Adam‟s body. “Can you hurry up and start, then?” The cheeky demand had Adam laughing. He bent and placed a small kiss on Luke‟s smiling mouth. “You‟re a sassy little shit, aren‟t you?” “Yeah, now get started.” Braced on his knees, Adam stroked through Luke‟s hair. It was thick yet so soft, the long strands slipping over Adam‟s fingers like silk. “What color, exactly?” he asked as he coaxed Luke‟s fringe away from his smooth brow. “Black. You know colors?” “Yes.” “How?” Adam shook his head and bit his lip, not ready to tell Luke about the images or their link, not until he knew Luke wasn‟t going to freak out about it. “I‟ll explain later,” he said, hoping Luke wouldn‟t question him anymore. He continued tracing along the length of Luke‟s cheeks finding them just the way he‟d imagined them, high but with a softer rounded edge. Luke closed his eyes as Adam softly outlined his lids, the skin gossamer, while long lashes curled beneath his fingertips. “And your eyes?” “Like you said—dark chocolate brown.” “Rich and warm.” Adam smiled and then stroked his thumbs over Luke‟s nose, straight and slim, then down to his mouth. A wet trace moistened both lips, which were firm yet full. Relaxed, Luke‟s mouth was turned up at the edges, so it seemed as if he was always smiling—a sharp contrast to how Adam had envisioned with Luke‟s dark moods. He bent down and kissed him again, just for the hell of it. He really liked kissing Luke. Luke‟s mouth was so welcoming, and he had a unique taste, like his smell. It was a blend of tangy and sweet that Adam was seriously getting fond of. He pulled back, but only because he wanted to finish seeing what Luke looked like. Luke‟s chin was slightly squared, his jaw angled, yet there was still a youthful fullness to it that softened the edges and planes. His sensitive fingertips picked up
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the slightly rough texture of Luke‟s stubble, and he traced the edge of it, seeing exactly where it would grow on Luke‟s face. “You are a very beautiful man,” he said, comparing what he could now define against the images Luke had sent. They hadn‟t done him any justice, but then Luke wouldn‟t have projected a true portrait, because he wouldn‟t see himself as Adam would. “Everyone used to say I was pretty.” The tight edge in Luke‟s voice told Adam so much more than Luke probably meant to. He frowned. “You‟re really worried about that scar, aren‟t you?” Luke turned his head and didn‟t say anything. Adam turned it back. “It doesn‟t detract from who you are, Luke. It doesn‟t define you either.” He placed his hands on both sides of Luke‟s face and held him. “Anyway, I don‟t think you‟re pretty— cute maybe, but not pretty.” Luke‟s smile was slow in coming, but he did smile. “Thanks.” “You‟re welcome. Now, can I continue?” Luke‟s light nod was all the incentive Adam needed. He rubbed his thumb along Luke‟s lower plump lip. Luke snaked out his tongue, easing it over the sensitive tip before he opened his mouth and drew Adam‟s thumb inside, sucking on it gently. Adam groaned, feeling the pull and wetness of Luke‟s mouth all the way to his cock. “Don‟t distract me,” he said, withdrawing his thumb and taking a deep breath. “Distraction‟s part of the fun,” Luke replied, his mouth pulling up at the corners. “But I‟m not going to get to the good bits if you keep doing that,” Adam warned. “Sorry.” But Luke wasn‟t sorry, if the firm hands that stroked up Adam‟s thighs were anything to go by. “Not helping,” Adam groaned, trying to stay focused, trying to remember what he was doing. Luke‟s laughter definitely wasn‟t repentant. “Can‟t help it. You‟re a distraction too.” Adam wasn‟t sure how much he could take of this, and he‟d only just started. He shuffled back out of Luke‟s reach, making sure not to drag his ass over Luke‟s cock, and then he planted himself on Luke‟s upper thighs, intently conscious of the heavy balls nestled tightly beneath his. Luke didn‟t say anything, but Adam picked up on the extra tension in his body and the slightly faster pace of his breathing. He inwardly smiled, and then spreading his hands, he placed them on Luke‟s chest. Luke‟s heart was trip hammering. “Talk to me. Tell me what you‟re feeling,” Adam said as he began to trace the chiseled muscles that twitched beneath his touch.
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“Hot, excited, nervous, and about ready for my cock to explode.” Adam stopped his exploration. “What do you have to be nervous about?” Luke tensed and then gave a self-deprecating shrug. “I want to please you.” Surprised, Adam frowned. “Believe me, you‟re definitely doing that. Can‟t you tell?” He felt Luke relax beneath him. “Yeah, I guess so. You‟re rock hard and leaking precum.” Adam smiled at Luke‟s frank appraisal. “So are you,” he replied. “How do you know?” “I can smell it.” “Really?” Luke sounded surprised, and Adam knew Luke had a lot to learn. Thinking about how much fun it was going to be teaching him, Adam couldn‟t help the wicked little grin that spread over his face. “You release a distinctive scent when you‟re aroused, Luke, and the more aroused you become, the heavier and stronger the scent,” he explained. “Oh, shit!” “What?” “Yesterday. Did you know I‟d got a hard-on?” Adam bit his lip, but Luke‟s groan told him he hadn‟t hid his amusement very well. “Don‟t be embarrassed. It was a compliment, once I realized it was because of me.” “Sorry, but I couldn‟t help it. I kept thinking of you naked.” As soon as Luke said it, Adam received a vision of himself sprawled across the bed, and yep, he was naked. He snorted back a bark of laughter and hoped Luke didn‟t notice. “I got hard too,” he admitted, so Luke wouldn‟t think he‟d been the only one affected. “You did? I didn‟t realize.” “That‟s kind of a shame. Might have made last night a little more interesting.” “I‟m sorry about that.” “Don‟t apologize, Luke. I understand you were trying to protect me.” “And look where it got me. In your bed.” Luke sniggered, and Adam couldn‟t help smiling. “Which will be a waste of time unless you let me finish what I started.” “Don‟t let me stop you. I want you to get a really good look at my cock.” “You really are sassy.” “You like it,” Luke said smugly. “Yeah, I do. And just so you know, I like how you smell, and I love the sound of your voice.”
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“You‟re kidding.” “Nope, that‟s what attracted me to you in the first place.” “I was wondering about that, you know, because you couldn‟t see me.” Luke sounded a little hesitant, as if he thought pointing out something so obvious would upset Adam. “I do have other senses, Luke,” Adam reminded him gently. “I don‟t need my eyes to distinguish people.” “Yeah, I know, but my voice? Is that what really attracted you to me?” “Mmm, it‟s the sexiest voice I‟ve ever heard—smooth and velvety but with a little bit of an edge to it you use when you‟re turned on.” “Like now?” “Yeah, like now.” He leaned forward and quickly kissed Luke, taking his mouth hard, making it his. He wanted to make Luke his, and now was the time to do it. Putting his hands back on Luke‟s chest, he began to bestow little kisses over the same places his fingers had just been. He shifted lower, and Luke‟s body tightened with pleasure. Grinning, Adam reached out with his tongue and softly stroked it over Luke‟s right nipple. Luke groaned low and deep, his back arching slightly. “Are you sensitive here?” Adam asked needlessly; he could tell how much that one swipe had affected Luke. “Yeah, very,” Luke moaned. “You want me to do it again?” “Yesss,” Luke‟s assent ended on a hiss because Adam hadn‟t waited for Luke to finish before licking over the now hardened nub, taking it into his mouth and sucking on it. Luke‟s hands dug into Adam‟s back, and he groaned louder. Adam sucked harder, the tight skin against his questing tongue puckering even more until it felt like a small pebble nesting on a warm bed of flesh. Adam quickly went for the other one, caught up with the need to give pleasure, and discovered the same hardness, the same sensitivity. He flicked it with the tip of his tongue and was rewarded with a soft curse and a painful dig of Luke‟s fingers. Receiving such a response from Luke goaded Adam on. He continued lower, and with lips, tongue, and teeth he sampled Luke‟s tortured flesh. Hard muscle covered most of Luke‟s upper body, yet his skin was supple and sensitive, and indulging in little bites and licks, Adam could feel Luke‟s tension mount, his arousal escalate. Stomach muscles clenched as he dipped and stroked his tongue along the rigid line of abs and sternum. Adam hadn‟t been lying when he‟d said he was going to be using his mouth on Luke‟s cock, and as he got closer, stopping to delve his tongue into the little swirl of Luke‟s belly button, both he and Luke were getting desperate. One to take, one to give, and as far as Adam was concerned, he was doing the taking, because Luke was giving him everything he‟d ever wanted right then.
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Shifting backward he changed position. Bringing his knees together he opened Luke‟s thighs and settled between them. A fresh scent reached him, stronger and thicker than before, and Adam inhaled deeply while bringing his nose to the juncture of Luke‟s thighs. This was Luke‟s most intimate scent—sweat mixed with the earthy evidence of a man ready to rut. He dipped his tongue into the crease and leisurely lapped up the essence, tasting it, savoring it until it was embedded in his memory, so it would stay with him for a long, long time. Adam was fully aware this experience with Luke could be a onetime-only opportunity. Once Luke had left, the chance of Adam getting another lover was slim to none. Pushing that depressing thought aside, he brought his mouth lower and farther to the left, his cheek nudging a warm, soft, furry pouch. Luke groaned, his fingers now cradled on Adam‟s head. “Please, Adam.” The plea was achingly tender and full of such need that Adam couldn‟t deny him any longer, not when his own need was just as rampant, just as crucial. With hands spread on Luke‟s thighs, Adam felt Luke‟s rapid pulse beating in tandem to Adam‟s own heart. Their harsh, strained breathing combined with the scent of arousal heavy in the air flooded his senses. Fully aware of what he was doing yet completely under a spell he had no control over, he pulled one of Luke‟s balls into his mouth. Luke squirmed beneath him, his thighs opening wider, his hips rolling. “Oh, Jesus, Adam.” Dizzy with a need he barely understood, Adam rolled it around gently before releasing it and starting on the other one, only letting go when he wanted something more, something harder. “Still want me to do this?” he asked, though he had no intention of stopping, not now. Luke‟s groan was answer enough, and without any further hesitation, Adam nuzzled the base of Luke‟s cock, half stunned at his own audacity, half drunk with pleasure. He took a moment to savor it, then started a slow trail up the slim, hard shaft. A thick vein pulsed beneath his tongue, the skin velvety soft, stretched tight over blood-engorged hardness. He licked and sucked, kissed and nibbled, taking his time, slowly worked his way up, making sure he charted every bump, every crease, his palms now cupping Luke‟s balls, his fingers just lightly caressing the sensitive skin beneath. Acting on instinct and doing what he‟d always imagined a man doing to him, Adam reached the tiny, nerve-rich area that joined shaft to tip. With a lazy sweep of his tongue, he wet it and then gently sucked on it. Luke cried out, his fingers once again digging hard. Then finally, unable to wait any longer, Adam captured the rest of Luke‟s cock in his mouth. “Oh, fuck!” Luke almost arched off the bed. Adam held him down as Luke‟s flavor exploded against his tongue. He groaned, sucking the taste down, stealing the clear drops of precum, shuddering as they rolled down his throat. He moaned again at the sweet tang and slicked his tongue over the smooth mushroomed tip before opening his throat and consuming Luke‟s cock to the root.
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“Oh shit, oh shit!” Luke bucked beneath him, moaning. It was more than he thought, more than he ever expected. The slender but rock-hard length filled his mouth, the soft, spongy head brushing the back of his throat before he gripped with his lips and sucked back up. He repeated the maneuver, getting the feel of it, the taste of it, sampling the texture, the heat, and knowing that with every lick of his tongue, every pull of his lips, he was sending Luke out of his mind. Carried away by the sheer enormity of what he was doing, Adam moved more quickly, dipping his head over and over until Luke was groaning continuously, his hips thrusting subtly. “Harder.” Luke‟s whispered instruction sent a hot thrill down Adam‟s spine. He tightened his lips and while stroking with his tongue sucked hard all the way to the top. Luke gasped and then suddenly tried to pull away. “Adam, I‟m gonna come!” Luke‟s warning only spurred Adam to hold on. He wanted this; he wanted to taste Luke, all of Luke. “Adam!” Luke‟s final cry was accompanied by a hot, salty eruption in Adam‟s mouth. He swallowed instinctively, relishing the flavor that burst over his tongue and slipped down his throat. Another eruption, another swallow, then another until Luke ceased his endless moans and his body slumped back to the bed. Adam grinned and made sure he got every last drop before letting the beautiful cock slip out of his mouth and resting his head on Luke‟s stomach. “Oh, Jesus,” Luke groaned, his breath short and ragged, his stomach still heaving, his body still strung tight. Feeling pleased, Adam rolled over and crawled up beside Luke, putting his arm over Luke‟s chest. “Are you okay?” he asked. “I just came in your mouth,” Luke moaned. “I‟ve never done that before.” “You haven‟t?” He felt Luke shake his head, then turn to face him. Adam closed his arm tighter around Luke‟s back. Luke‟s skin was slick with sweat, his body still trembling slightly. “Why did you let me? You know you shouldn‟t have,” Luke said, sounding both puzzled and a little stressed. “I wanted to taste you.” Adam hadn‟t even thought about it, just did as instinct dictated. Was there some sort of etiquette about forcing a man to come in your mouth? “I‟m sorry. Maybe I should have asked you first.” “God, no, don‟t be sorry, but you didn‟t know if I was clean.” “Oh.” That hadn‟t occurred to Adam, and now he felt like a fool. “Hey, it‟s okay. I am.” Adam nodded, but it didn‟t make him feel any better. “Sorry,” he said again. He loosened his hold and shifted back. “Was it all right?” he asked now, a little worried his selfish action put Luke off. “All right? Adam, it was amazing.”
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“Really, you‟re not just saying that?” He wasn‟t sure if he‟d done everything right or if Luke actually liked the way he‟d done it. “Adam, you‟ve got to know I came pretty hard.” “Yeah, but that doesn‟t really mean it was any good.” A finger stroked across his cheek, the caress soft and subtly intimate, and Luke closed the distance between them again, his mouth edging along Adam‟s jaw. “It was good, believe me. I nearly blew several times while you were doing that. I only managed to stop because I knew you were enjoying yourself.” “Enjoying myself? I nearly came just doing that to you.” Luke smiled against his neck, his lips soft as they gently nuzzled. Adam shivered, surprised at how tender Luke was in the aftermath of his orgasm. “So that‟s how you see things. A lot more interesting than using your eyes.” Luke‟s quiet smirk made Adam grin. “Yes, that‟s how I see things, though I don‟t always put things in my mouth.” “Glad I was the exception to the rule.” Luke‟s teasing tone had Adam relaxing, despite his hard-on that was waiting for some reciprocation. “So, can I get a look at yours now?” Luke‟s request sent a hard, hot need stroking through his body. Adam bit his lip and nodded. His cock ached, and his jeans were beginning to cut off circulation. Luke kissed back along his jaw, then captured his mouth, his tongue snaking forward to tease before pulling back. “Do you want me to go slowly?” Adam was too close to the edge; if Luke took his time, he‟d probably die a very painful death. “I don‟t think you‟ll get much of a chance.” Luke nodded, planted one more kiss on his mouth, then scooted down the bed. Adam held himself rigid, wondering if Luke would like what he saw. His own cock was thicker than Luke‟s, and they were about the same length, but that didn‟t really mean anything. He didn‟t know how many lovers Luke had had or if he would even come anywhere near Luke‟s standards. He held his breath and waited as Luke pulled down his jeans and briefs and then sighed in relief when he heard Luke make a sound of approval. “Oh, yeah, definitely better than I imagined.” At Luke‟s words, Adam geared up to accept another image. Disappointed when it didn‟t come, he began to worry. If he was already anticipating the pictures Luke envisaged, he knew it was going to be very hard when they ended. And they would end because this with Luke would end. “Luke…” On the verge of telling him about their link, Adam was about to reach out and touch Luke‟s shoulder but stopped himself. This wasn‟t the right time. But he didn‟t think there would ever really be a right time. How did you explain something like that? Luke shifted position, gripping the base of his cock with one hand and cupping his balls with the other. Adam gasped and instantly noticed how warm Luke‟s
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hands were, how firm his fingers. They held him gently, but with purpose and confidence. “Ready?” Adam nearly shook his head, but the selfish side of him nodded instead; then he stiffened as the realization of what was about to happen hit home. Before he had a chance to say anything, before he could even think about changing his mind, Luke gripped him a little tighter. “Come in my mouth,” Luke said just before wet heat converged around him. Adam‟s nerve endings fired all at once, and it felt like a bolt of electricity had just fried him. Shocked, he gripped the sheet beneath him and gasped, positive he was going to come there and then. He was already so close. Just having Luke in his arms had been enough to turn him on; going down on him had pushed Adam beyond anything he‟d thought possible. “Luke.” His groan was half warning, half plea. He wasn‟t going to last. Nothing had prepared him for this; nothing could have even come close. He arched his back and gripped the sheet tighter in his fists, his head swimming as heat crawled over his skin. Soft velvet strokes circled the plump head of his cock while Luke used his fist to pump the shaft, the friction eased by saliva. Adam moaned, his body on the verge of coming apart, his mind already splintering in shocked disbelief that this was actually happening to him. Luke‟s tongue circled again. Then he suddenly plunged his mouth down and sucked hard on the way back up. It was too much, and the tingle that had started at the base of his spine kicked up through his stomach and down to his balls, which drew up fast and hard. Pleasure slammed into him, an explosion that took his breath and twisted his stomach. His cock swelled, pulsed, and finally let loose in one hot, long eruption. Adam‟s strangled cry was all the warning he could give as the incredible tension that had been building for so long suddenly let go. Thankfully, Luke expected it, and as he filled his mouth and felt him swallow, Adam just let the sensations, the pleasure take him. Luke‟s mouth continued to suck gently, and his hand still worked around him, but gradually he stopped and lifted off. Though he was stunned and barely able to move, Adam‟s first instinct was to reach for Luke. He reached out, hauled him up, pulled him into his arms, and held on tight, needing to hold him, wanting to say thank you but not sure how. Luke wrapped his arms around Adam‟s neck and hugged him. Right then it was the best thing he could have done. “You okay?” Luke asked, his voice softly coaxing. Adam nodded, then slowly eased back. “A little shell-shocked.” “So am I. Never thought it would be this intense.” Luke stretched up and planted a small kiss on Adam‟s mouth. “Should have guessed, though, considering how long I‟ve been thinking about this, about you.”
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Adam grinned. “I hope giving me a blowjob was not the only thing you‟ve been thinking about,” he said, knowing it wasn‟t if the images Luke had sent him were anything to go by. Luke chuckled, his warm fingers stroking the side of Adam‟s face. “No. I‟ve been thinking of doing a lot more than that.” Luke‟s voice was seductively soft, and Adam felt its caress all over his body. He shivered. “Are you cold?” “No, I‟m fine.” “You look tired.” Luke sounded concerned. He leaned away, and then the warm, heavy weight of the quilt that had been kicked off the bed earlier was pulled over him before Luke snuggled back into his side. “Get some sleep. That headache took a lot out of you.” Adam didn‟t protest. He was tired, but he was more emotionally wrung out than anything else. He slid a hand down Luke‟s back and curved it round his hip. Luke sighed and rubbed up against Adam‟s thigh. “Nice,” Luke murmured, already sounding sleepy. Adam smiled and pulled Luke closer. As he felt Luke drift off to sleep, he closed his eyes and settled himself a little more comfortably, aware, right then, that he‟d never felt more content in his life. He knew a lot of it was because of Luke. His first time with a man was incredible, as he‟d known it would be, but with Luke it just seemed that much better. Luke had been more than happy to let him explore, to experiment. He hadn‟t minded when Adam had taken his time. In fact, Adam suspected Luke liked the anticipation, the buildup. Feeling a little guilty for coming so fast, Adam nevertheless couldn‟t hold back a grin. He‟d just had sex with Luke, and if he was right, he‟d have a chance to have sex with him again. For a while Adam wallowed in the aftermath; then as his mind drifted and with the warm press of Luke‟s body next to his, he finally fell asleep.
*** Adam wasn‟t quite sure what woke him, but Luke was no longer in his arms, and though he knew it was ridiculous, he was instantly disappointed. He didn‟t have a right to expect Luke to stay with him, but he felt Luke could have at least waited to say good-bye. He reached out and checked the bed; the sheets were still warm, so he knew Luke had only left recently. Still, it didn‟t make him feel any better. Sitting up, feeling just a little disoriented, not knowing what time it was but sensing it was late, Adam made a grab for his phone and pushed the button that activated the speaker clock. It told him it was eight thirty-five. He‟d slept in, but considering his headache and the impromptu session with Luke, he didn‟t begrudge himself the extra few minutes sleep, but he‟d rather have woken up earlier with Luke still in his arms. He rubbed a hand over his face and winced as the shoulder Luke had slept on all night twinged in protest. Adam could still smell him on his skin, warm and
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musky with a hint of sex. Sighing, Adam pulled off the quilt and swung his legs over the side of the bed, then stilled as a sound suddenly filtered through his sleepfogged brain. “Luke?” he called hopefully. Listening carefully, he picked up the low hum of the television in the living room and the faint tink of metal hitting glass from the kitchen. He smiled, relief and expectation bolstering his mood. Luke was still here. With the ease borne of familiarity, Adam slid out of bed and headed toward the bathroom, hand held out just in case Luke had accidently left the door ajar instead of fully open. He only ever closed the door when Michael stayed over, and that was for Michael‟s benefit, not his own. After meeting no unexpected obstacles, he entered the bathroom and immediately detected the lemon scent of shampoo in the air. So Luke had showered too. Didn‟t seem like Luke was intending to leave anytime soon. Grinning, Adam instinctively checked the towel rail. Clean, dry towels were draped there, and a quick skim of his fingers over the sink confirmed Luke had wiped it down after use. Everything was exactly where he kept it, and thankfully the toilet seat was up. That kind of consideration often failed even Michael, so Adam was grateful for Luke‟s effort. After a quick shower, Adam brushed his teeth and went back to his room to dress. He found a pair of his sweatpants and a T-shirt missing and assumed Luke had borrowed them. Smiling, he imagined the smaller man swamped in his clothes, preferring instead to imagine Luke in no clothes, but acknowledging that at least they‟d be easy to get off. Almost humming to himself, Adam pulled on similar attire and set off to find him. Luke was in the kitchen, the sound of a fork scraping against a bowl drawing Adam in that direction. As he closed in, the sound stopped, and in the short silence that followed before it started up again, Adam could have sworn he heard Luke inhale sharply. Hoping he was interpreting it correctly, Adam smiled. “Hi,” he said. “Hi. You look better.” Luke sounded fine, a little breathless, but fine. “I am, thank you. I assume you‟re making breakfast?” “Scrambled eggs okay?” Now Luke sounded a little strained. “Perfect.” Adam wasn‟t sure if he was picking up an awkward morning-after vibe. As he‟d never experienced one, he couldn‟t tell, but he had a funny feeling Luke wasn‟t comfortable. He wanted to go up to him, hold him, kiss him. Instead he leaned against the bench, putting himself close to Luke but giving him some space if he needed it. “Want me to do anything?” “Nah, I‟m fine.” The microwave opened, then closed, and Adam heard Luke set the timer. The smell of toast wafted through the air just before the toaster popped. Two plates were set on the bench, and then Luke started spreading butter on the crisped bread.
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Adam listened to every minute movement and then smiled as he figured out what was wrong. “Adam, don‟t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you want me to kiss you.” Adam grinned. “Is that what I‟m doing?” “You know damn well you are.” “So what are you waiting for?” The clatter of the knife being dropped covered the sound of Luke stepping toward him, but then he was pulled into Luke‟s arms, his mouth assaulted with the hot press of Luke‟s lips. It caught him by surprise, not the kiss, but that it was instantly intense and passionate. Luke pressed himself close, and the reason for his awkwardness became fully apparent—he was hard. Adam groaned and slid his hands beneath the loose T-shirt at Luke‟s waist, encountering warm, silky skin and hard muscle. Sweeping up his chest he thumbed Luke‟s nipples before bringing his palms around his back and down to his ass, gripping the firm flesh and pulling him closer still. Luke whimpered and slipped his arms around Adam‟s neck. Adam tightened his hold and changed the kiss, deepened it and made it his. He swept his tongue inside Luke‟s mouth, and Luke sucked on it. Adam felt the pull all the way to his cock, which hardened in response. Luke groaned but then slowly pulled away. Adam resisted, unsure why Luke was withdrawing, but Luke was insistent. “Adam, I need to talk to you,” he said, his voice soft, regretful. Adam‟s heart sank. He knew what Luke wanted to talk about—his leaving, and when. Adam didn‟t want to talk about it—the idea was already painful enough—but he nodded, keeping his face neutral, impassive, while his chest felt unexpectedly tight. “Okay.” Luke sighed. “About what I said last night, about my leaving…” Adam could hear Luke fidget, and though he didn‟t want to encourage Luke, he knew they needed to get this out of the way. “What about it?” “We didn‟t really establish what was going to happen between us from now till then.” Luke was hedging, and there was that slight catch in his tone, which Adam was quickly beginning to interpret. Luke was worried. But why? Was he worried that Adam didn‟t want to continue what they‟d started last night, or was he worried that he did? Dread coiled in his stomach, and Adam wasn‟t sure if he managed to keep the expression off his face. Had Luke changed his mind? Had he suddenly realized that hooking up with a blind man wasn‟t such a good idea? He didn‟t think he could stand it if Luke walked away so soon. He wasn‟t even taking into consideration the
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images Luke was able to send him. Right now, that was secondary to wanting Luke in his arms, in his bed. “What do you want to happen?” he asked, hoping Luke hadn‟t noticed the tremor in his voice. “What do you?” The hesitancy in Luke‟s spoke volumes, and in that instant Adam finally started to understand what was going on in Luke‟s mind. Luke was just as afraid as he was. Adam felt a ridiculous kind of relief. Luke did want him, but Adam also realized there was something far more significant than sex going on between them. And Luke knew it too. The revelation was hope inspiring. Somehow it gave him the desire for something he hadn‟t known was possible and the courage that had been lacking to do something about it. He didn‟t know why—he didn‟t even know what his aim was—but he knew he couldn‟t walk away from this, and he couldn‟t let Luke walk away either. There was an intricate, complex part of Luke that Adam wanted to get to know, specifically the part that Luke wanted to keep hidden, and it seemed important somehow for Luke that Adam find out what it was. He had to get Luke to open up to him, confide in him, trust him. The only problem was, he didn‟t know how. Fleetingly, the link between them came to mind. It had to mean something, had to mean that Luke was special to him, was meant to be with him, but Adam discarded using it. He wouldn‟t try to get Luke to stay by making him feel like he had to. And anyway, the connection wasn‟t nearly as important compared to what was really going on between them. He needed something else, something that would bind them, would make Luke think twice about leaving, and suddenly he knew exactly what he could use. He moved toward Luke and put a hand around his waist. “I want you to teach me everything it‟s possible to know about sex with a man.”
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Chapter Four Luke looked up at Adam and studied his face. Oh, wow, this was not what he expected. He was so sure Adam would have thought about what they‟d done last night and regretted letting it happen, that this morning Luke had decided to give Adam the opportunity to change his mind about what he‟d agreed to, because Adam wasn‟t the fuck-and-forget type of guy, no matter what he said. “You do?” he asked, cautious, hopeful. Adam‟s hand tightened on his waist. It was warm, firm, possessive. There was strength there, the strength of a man who knew what he wanted. And Luke had a feeling Adam wanted him. “I‟ve just had a taste of you, Luke. I want more.” Luke shook his head, shocked. He honestly hadn‟t thought Adam would want to continue anything with him, and he‟d steeled himself for the rejection, a rejection he knew was going to be even more painful when he‟d watched Adam walk toward him from the bedroom. Adam‟s hair had been damp, a testament to his recent shower. Mussed, it looked as if Adam had just towel dried it, then run his fingers through the golden strands. Loose track pants had sat low on lean hips, encasing long legs that easily covered the distance between them. His T-shirt stretched tight across a sculptured chest, emphasizing broad shoulders and a flat stomach. He‟d looked so sexy that Luke had stared, unable to look away. And then that aqua gaze seemed to land on him, and he‟d instantly gotten hard. The embarrassing part was, Adam knew. Was that why Adam was giving him this opportunity, because he knew how affected he was by him, or did he genuinely want to resume what they‟d started last night? The hand around his waist drew him an inch closer, and Luke decided, hoped Adam did want to. So what was he supposed to do now? “Luke?” Adam prompted, drawing him closer still. He was so close, Luke could feel heat emanating from him, and he could also smell the lemon shampoo he‟d used. “Are you sure?” he asked, wanting to make this really clear. “Of course. This type of opportunity will not come again, Luke.” “Why not? I mean, I know you said you don‟t go looking for sex, but someone is going to come into your life.”
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The sudden look on Adam‟s face said it all. Adam didn‟t expect to have another lover, ever. Oh, God. Luke silently berated himself. He knew damn well he shouldn‟t have gotten into this, but selfishly he just hadn‟t been able to help it. He tried to pull away from Adam‟s grip, but Adam wouldn‟t let him. “Don‟t stop this yet, Luke, not yet.” Luke blanched. He didn‟t want Adam to plead; Adam was too good for that. “I don‟t know what to offer you,” he admitted, feeling a little out of his depth. “I‟ll take whatever you want to give.” “I can‟t give you much. I don‟t have much.” That was a laugh. He didn‟t have anything. He was a worthless piece of shit, and he knew it. Strong hands grabbed his shoulders and held him tight. Luke looked into Adam‟s eyes and met hardness and a determination he hadn‟t expected. “Don‟t say that. Look, I know you can‟t offer me a relationship, and that‟s fine, but there is so much more you can give me, Luke.” “There is?” Luke hadn‟t gotten a clue what. “Trust me, more than you can imagine.” Adam grinned then, but Luke didn‟t understand why. “And you‟re fine with not having a relationship?” Why did he want to press that point? Why was it important he get that straight in his head? Adam hesitated, and then he nodded. “You‟re leaving. What would be the point? Anyway, I‟m comfortable with my life the way it is. Can you imagine someone moving in here and leaving their stuff everywhere? I‟d be tripping over it all the time.” “I wouldn‟t leave my stuff everywhere.” Luke wasn‟t even sure where that came from, but as soon as he said it, he knew it was true. “That‟s nice to know, but I don‟t think it‟s going to be an issue. Is it?” “No, I guess it isn‟t.” Why the hell did he suddenly feel hurt? He‟d just agreed with Adam they couldn‟t have a relationship, so he should be grateful, not pissed off. “Well?” Adam sounded impatient, looked ready to argue his point. “You really want me to teach you everything I know?” Luke asked, still doubting this was a good idea, but under Adam‟s insistence he began to feel himself relent. Who was he kidding? He wanted Adam, would do anything to have him, but he didn‟t want to hurt him. “Only if you still want to.” He could still say no, probably should, but as Luke scanned Adam‟s face again, he saw a look of expectancy and hope that was both hard to miss and ignore. Adam‟s eyes gleamed, their aqua depths filled with something that drew Luke in, questioned him, and Luke knew he only had one answer.
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“Yeah, I want to,” he said, watching Adam break into a smile. He loved it when Adam smiled. Loved how it lit up his whole face, loved how it put a dimple in his cheek, and he loved that he could make Adam happy. Surprised at where those thoughts were heading, Luke pushed them to the back of his mind. “We going to eat breakfast now, or let it get cold?” he asked, as Adam stroked down his arms, eliciting more than just a shiver from his skin. “Can you give me another one of your kisses first?” Adam‟s tiny grin left Luke almost breathless. He grinned in return and pressed himself against Adam‟s hard body, moaning even as he lifted his face to Adam‟s lowering mouth. Luke kissed him softly, holding back the passion he‟d shown earlier. He‟d thought that would be his last kiss, and he‟d given it everything he had. Now, he knew he was going to get a chance to kiss Adam over and over again, so with this kiss he wanted to take his time. But Adam had other ideas. Adam‟s mouth slanted over his, and his tongue pushed between Luke‟s lips, sweeping inside. Luke instinctively sucked on it and got a groan for his efforts. His cock twitched and began to fill out again, poking the inside of the loose sweats he wore. With no underwear to contain him, his thickening shaft rubbed against the fabric, the soft friction adding to the light sensations now flooding his body. Adam‟s hands slid down the back of his sweats, hard fingers curling over his backside and squeezing. Luke couldn‟t help it—he linked his arms around Adam‟s neck and lifted himself a little, trying to align his cock with Adam‟s, imagining the rub of bare flesh alongside his. Suddenly, Adam hauled him up and dumped him on the kitchen bench. Legs spread wide, ass on the edge, Adam had him naked in seconds. “What are you doing?” he gasped, shocked. “What do you think?” Luke didn‟t know what to think. He only just managed not to come on the spot as Adam gripped his cock and started pumping with firm, beautifully measured strokes that had him on the brink. “Adam!” “You want this,” Adam said as he joined his cock to the mix, his large hand enveloping both of them. Luke shuddered, groaning as Adam started rubbing up alongside him, allowing their cocks to slip within his palm, precum lubricating the sensual glide. Hot, wet, and rock hard. Luke groaned and instinctively angled his hips, resting back on his hands. Adam leaned over him, chasing his mouth, kissing him hard, his hand gripping tighter. “Come for me, Luke. I want to feel it.” Luke closed his eyes and flung his head back as Adam kissed down his neck and chest on the same side as his scar, stroking his tongue along the puckered flesh while his hand now pumped harder, faster. He could only imagine how it looked, Adam‟s golden body bent over him, their shafts glistening, heavy balls hanging, the
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blood-engorged heads of their cocks peeking out between Adam‟s closed fist. He could imagine it, and did. Adam groaned, the sound low and deep. “God, Luke.” His big body shook as he flicked out his tongue, found Luke‟s nipple, and sucked on it. Luke cried out in both shock and need, thrusting up with his hips. Heat flared up from the base of his spine, and his balls drew up, hard and tight. “Adam, I‟m coming.” “Jesus.” Adam clamped his mouth back down on Luke‟s and they started to thrust in tandem, Adam‟s hand squeezing. Luke struggled to kiss him back; then Adam stiffened, crying out just as hot cum splattered over Luke‟s belly and cock. A second later a sweet blast of pleasure slammed into Luke, and his cock pulsed once, twice, releasing a thick, creamy stream into Adam‟s waiting hand. Arms suddenly weak, Luke almost collapsed against the bench, but Adam‟s arm quickly snaked around his back, supporting him. “Don‟t move.” Before he could ask why or even have time to draw a breath, Adam pulled back a little and started kissing down his chest again. He gathered a drop of cum that had landed there, then continued down until he reached Luke‟s softening cock. Luke moaned and watched in awe as Adam licked up the smears of milky fluid, his velvet tongue gathering every last drop. “Delicious. Though I‟m not really sure I like the taste of my own cum.” Adam‟s statement had Luke grinning. “It tastes good to me,” he said and then laughed as Adam lifted his face. “Come here.” Adam stood up straight, and Luke pulled him close. “You‟re a messy eater, you know that?” He reached up and wiped at a glob of cum that had ended up near Adam‟s chin. Adam grabbed his wrist and slowly brought his hand to his mouth. He drew Luke‟s finger inside and sucked on it, his wet tongue curling around the digit before he let go. “Like I said, delicious.” Luke looked at him, at the smile on his face, and the happiness that shone from his eyes. He hadn‟t realized how much emotion he would be able to see in Adam‟s eyes, but now he was aware of it. Now that he was looking, it was easy to identify. Sitting up, he traced a line down Adam‟s chest. Adam settled himself between Luke‟s thighs. Luke looked down at where they touched. Both cocks, soft but still flushed red, nestled against each other, Luke‟s slightly darker skin a contrast to Adam‟s fair, paler flesh. “I wish you could see this.” Luke glanced back up at Adam and suddenly realized what he‟d said. “Fuck, I‟m sorry!” Adam tilted his head to the side and frowned. “Why?” “I shouldn‟t have said that, but I didn‟t think. Adam, I‟m really sorry.”
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“Luke, you don‟t have to be sorry for saying things like that. I‟m not going to take offense.” “I know, but I should have been more considerate.” Luke scoured Adam‟s face and didn‟t see any sign of him being upset. It helped, but only a little. He felt awful. “You‟ve been more considerate than most, believe me. Don‟t worry about it.” “You sure?” “Luke…” Adam‟s tone was stern, and Luke quickly realized that apologizing was annoying Adam more. “Okay, fine.” Luke lifted his hands in surrender. “I‟m allowed to make crass remarks. I get it.” Adam laughed, the sound light and easy. His eyes shone bright with amusement, and Luke could only wish he had Adam‟s cordiality and his forgiveness. Among others, forgiveness was one thing Luke knew he was lacking. He realized now how stupid it was to have apologized to Adam about what he‟d said. Adam didn‟t need to be reminded he was blind, and Luke knew he shouldn‟t treat him any differently than anyone else. He went to move off the bench, but Adam stopped him. “Give me a second,” he said, skimming light fingers over Luke‟s stomach and thighs, the touch gentle, unassuming, but enough to spark an awareness through Luke‟s body. “You seeing me again?” Luke asked, feeling a little self-conscious and not sure why. He actually liked the way Adam used his fingertips and hands to see him. He liked the way they traced over his skin, soft and warm yet with confidence and surety. “You‟re worth looking at,” Adam said, bringing his hands back up over Luke‟s arms. “So are you.” He stared into Adam‟s eyes. They were incredibly beautiful, but behind their unusual color, they were kind and understanding, like the man. Luke bit his lip, wishing again he could be more like Adam, or he could be someone Adam would like. But at least he did have this: he leaned forward and kissed him, smiling as he felt Adam‟s cock twitch. He only pulled back because his own sensitive cock responded in the same manner. “I think I‟d better go and get cleaned up,” he said a little regretfully, looking down at the mess still on his stomach. Adam seemed to glance in the same direction. “Make it quick because we still have to have breakfast.” Laughing, Luke shook his head. “I think you‟ve already had enough protein to last you the rest of the day.” “I could never have enough of you,” Adam said, stepping back and adjusting his clothing. “Oh, God, I‟ve created a monster,” Luke retorted, sliding off the bench. But he was secretly pleased by Adam‟s comment. They‟d come twice now, and Adam still wanted more. Still wanted him. It gave Luke a kind of buzz that had him grinning despite knowing this was only temporary. He‟d never been with the same man more
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than once before, and Luke had to admit he liked the experience. He liked the fact he would get to taste Adam again, but what was better was that he would have the chance to learn how to please Adam, how to really turn him on. He pulled his sweats back up, then hooked his T-shirt off the floor, and with a quick inspection to make sure they hadn‟t made a mess on the kitchen counter, headed to the bathroom. “Give me a minute, and I‟ll finish making breakfast.” “It‟s okay. I can do it.” Luke wasn‟t about to argue, he already knew how independent Adam could be. “All right, but I‟ve already set the table,” he said. Adam nodded but then frowned. Luke hesitated and came back. “I remembered how you like it, but if you‟re not sure, wait till I get back, and I‟ll show you where I put everything.” When Adam just nodded again, Luke worried he might have stepped over some sort of boundary line. But surely Adam couldn‟t be that anal about setting the table, could he? “Adam, are you annoyed?” “No. I‟m just surprised you‟ve gone to so much trouble.” “Setting a table is not hard.” “Remembering where everything goes is. Especially as you only saw me do it once.” “Maybe I was just paying attention.” He reached out and touched the back of Adam‟s hand. “I‟ll only be a minute,” he said and then hurried to the bathroom. He didn‟t take long and was back in time to see Adam put two plates of fluffy eggs on the table. He watched as Adam lightly skimmed his hand over the utensils and found the salt and pepper and the glass of juice Luke had poured earlier. Adam‟s hands were graceful, his fingers long and slim, touching everything with confidence and surety, and Luke shivered as he recalled how they felt on him, how they touched him, aroused him, saw him. He waited, knowing he‟d gotten the table right but wanting to see Adam‟s reaction. Adam smiled and then lifted his head in Luke‟s direction. “Hurry up. We don‟t want them getting cold again.” Luke smiled and decided not to point out it was Adam‟s fault the eggs had gotten cold in the first place. He sat down and watched Adam for a minute. Everything about him was graceful. For such a large man and for one who couldn‟t see, he seemed comfortable and at ease. But that was in his apartment. What would he be like outside his comfort zone, outside his element, outside? “Why aren‟t you eating?” Adam asked, putting down his fork. “I‟m thinking.” “What about?” “You.”
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Adam looked surprised for a moment. Then he smiled. “Are they good thoughts?” Luke picked up his fork and scooped up some eggs onto the edge of his toast. “How do you buy stuff?” he asked before taking a bite. “I order off the Internet.” “Your word-recognition software?” “Yeah, I move the mouse around, and it reads out what I‟ve landed on. Takes a while to get used to it, but I‟ve mastered it now.” “So you don‟t go out and shop?” “No, I‟d have to have someone with me.” “What about lube and condoms?” Adam had been about to pick up his fork, but his fingers hesitated over the utensil. “What about them?” Luke smirked. “Do you have any?” Luke was surprised to see Adam‟s cheeks go pink. “Some lube but not much,” Adam confessed. Luke took another bite of toast, then a mouthful of eggs. He chewed and swallowed, then picked up his juice. “We need to go out and get some,” he said, trying to sound as nonchalant as he could while inwardly thinking some very wicked thoughts. “Don‟t you have any?” Adam looked uncomfortable, and Luke grinned. He thought about the singleuse lube packet and the one condom he had in his wallet. “Not on me.” But this wasn‟t about protection; this was about getting Adam out. It was at that moment that Luke had an idea. Without knowing it, Adam had issued a challenge when he‟d said he was comfortable with his life, and Luke couldn‟t help but feel Adam was missing out. Just because he was blind didn‟t mean he had to live life less. But Luke wasn‟t talking about normal, everyday-to-day life. He was thinking a little outside the box. Okay, he was thinking a lot outside the box. He smiled and for once was glad Adam couldn‟t see him, because that would give rise to a whole lot of questions he didn‟t want to answer right now—mainly because he didn‟t think Adam would like the answers. Adam had picked up his fork again but was only playing with his food. “Do I have to go with you?” Luke ate some more toast and eggs before answering, deliberately prolonging his reply. “Is there any reason why you don‟t want to?” Those aqua eyes bored into Luke, and if he hadn‟t known better, he would have said they were searching his soul. He looked away but then felt like an idiot. “Well?” he asked. “No, no reason.” “Good, we‟ll go after breakfast.”
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“So soon?” The hesitancy on Adam‟s face only made more Luke more determined. He didn‟t like the fact that Adam didn‟t seem to do anything. He knew part of it was because he didn‟t have anyone to take him anywhere except his brother, but it was also because he believed Adam was certainly not afraid, but reluctant to try something new. It was as if Adam didn‟t want to risk making a fool of himself. Luke watched the play of emotions flit across Adam‟s face. Uncertainty, misgivings, suspicion. He reached over and stroked Adam‟s hand. He wanted to do this for Adam, wanted to show him a world that had so far been out of his reach. “Come on. How bad can it be?” he coaxed.
*** This was bad. Very, very bad. Adam felt like a fish out of water, floundering, completely disorientated, but fearing something much worse than the loss of his life—humiliation. He had no idea where Luke had taken him, but he knew where he was. The smell was obvious—latex, cheap plastic, leather, several layers of essences, and underlying it all was the potent scent of the high sexual excitement those items evoked. Adam knew he should have refused to climb up the stairs. He should have refused to get out of Luke‟s car. He damn well should have refused to leave the apartment. He tightened his grip on Luke‟s arm as they stood at the top of the stairs that led into the sex shop. “What do you think you‟re doing?” he asked, bending slightly and keeping his voice low so only Luke could hear. “Getting condoms and lube.” Luke‟s innocent tone didn‟t fool Adam. Luke had known exactly what he‟d been doing when he‟d brought him here. It wasn‟t to embarrass him; Adam was sure of that. Luke seemed to have an ulterior motive, but one that Adam wasn‟t able to identify, not yet. “You didn‟t need to bring me here. We could have gone to a chemist or something,” he objected. “Where would be the fun in that?” “Fun?” Luke could not be serious. “This is not fun, Luke.” “Yes, it is. Relax. No one will recognize you.” “Being recognized is not what I‟m worried about,” he said, wondering if Luke could really be that obtuse. Luke took a step forward, and Adam had no choice but to follow; he‟d left his cane in Luke‟s car, and he couldn‟t negotiate an unknown place on his own without drawing curious stares. Not that he‟d notice, but he didn‟t want to be an object of anyone‟s attention right then. “So what‟s wrong?” Luke was obviously not paying attention either, because he continued farther into the cool interior. Adam reluctantly followed. The smell got stronger, one particular scent more prominent than the rest—sexual arousal. Adam tried to
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breathe through his mouth, but it was no use. “Luke!” he tightened his grip on Luke‟s arm, stopping him from going any farther. Luke turned to him. “What?” “You‟d better get me out of here.” “Why?” There was a slight edge of both confusion and impatience in Luke‟s tone. Adam shifted from foot to foot hoping Luke would get the hint. When he didn‟t, Adam decided if Luke wanted to put him in this situation, he could deal with the consequences. He dragged the arm he‟d been holding down to his crotch and placed Luke‟s hand over his erection, biting back a groan as the heat of Luke‟s palm penetrated through the denim of his jeans. “That‟s why.” Luke quickly shifted position, bringing his body closer. “You‟re aroused? How?” Adam shook his head in exasperation. It was very rare when he became overly conscious of his disability. He tended to forget it or ignore it. Now was not one of those times, and he felt distinctly uncomfortable, completely out of his depth while reliant on someone who obviously didn‟t understand or didn‟t care. “Look where you‟ve brought me.” “But you can‟t see anything.” Luke sounded confused, but that didn‟t help Adam any. “I can smell it,” Adam defended. “And it affects you that much?” Shaking his head, Adam let his frustration mount. “What do you feel when you enter a gay bar?” he asked, guessing that was where Luke went looking for sex. Luke tensed beside him for a second, then shrugged. “I get aroused.” “Why?” “I don‟t know. The sights, the sounds.” “The smells. A large part of your body‟s reaction is influenced by smell alone. You probably get a massive exposure to pheromones and testosterone, and as you‟re gay, you react by getting aroused,” Adam tried to explain. “And that‟s what happened to you in here?” “Yes.” “Shit. I‟m sorry. I didn‟t think about that. I just wanted to show you something different.” Adam relaxed as he understood what Luke had been trying to do, even though he didn‟t appreciate his methods. “Next time warn me.” “Do you want to go?” Luke sounded apologetic, and Adam instantly forgave him; this was not worth him getting upset over.
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“No, I‟m fine. Anyway, it isn‟t just the smells in here that are affecting me.” Adam lowered his voice even though he was already whispering. “I‟m also reacting to you.” “Yeah?” Luke perked up a bit, and Adam smiled. “Yes, because you were reacting to bringing me here.” “Yeah, I guess. I was kind of imagining you using some of this stuff.” Adam quickly let go of Luke‟s hand. He didn‟t want to see what Luke was imagining. That would be too dangerous by far. He was already turned on enough; he didn‟t want to make it any more obvious. “How bright is it in here?” he hesitantly asked now. “It‟s lit up like a Christmas tree,” Luke said. “But don‟t worry—no one is going to notice your hard-on. You‟ll probably just blend in with everyone else,” Luke added, amusement spiking his tone once again. “Let‟s just get the lube and condoms,” Adam moaned, grabbing Luke‟s shoulders and urging him to move. “Okay, what kind do you prefer?” Luke stopped and reached for something, then held it up. “Ribbed or ultrathin?” “How the hell would I know?” “We‟ll go with ultrathin. That way you‟re going to feel everything.” Adam tightened his grip on Luke‟s shoulder. “You‟re not helping.” Luke ignored him. “Any preference on lube?” Luke led him around a corner and stopped again. “We‟ve got strawberry, banana, peppermint—oh, here we go, cherry.” If Adam hadn‟t suddenly found it funny, he would have hit Luke on the back of the head. “Just make sure we‟ve got enough,” he said and then waited while he felt Luke pick up several bottles. He knew what these purchases meant and couldn‟t get the idea out of his head he‟d soon be making love to Luke fully. He couldn‟t wait, and though patience was something he usually had in spades, it deserted him now as he thought of Luke ready for him, wanting him. Adam still found it difficult to accept even though Luke had shown him he did time and time again. Being here was proof of that. “This looks interesting.” Luke had turned and reached for something else. “Here, hold on to these a sec,” he said just before Adam felt a couple of bottles and boxes shoved into his hands. “Luke, can we just get out of here, please?” His patience had completely disappeared, but his erection was still thick and strong. Not a good combination. When Luke didn‟t answer, Adam transferred the packages into one arm and reached for him. Without warning a powerful image flashed into his mind. Strong and full of color like the rest, it took Adam a second to absorb the details and see what Luke was thinking about. When he recognized it, he gasped. Luke had him on his back, naked, lying on a bed, his cock erect but with something attached to it.
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Then the images shifted, and he was on his hands and knees with Luke behind him, buried in him. Adam pulled back his hand as if he‟d just received an electric shock. “What the hell are you looking at?” he asked, only just remembering to keep his voice down. “It‟s, um…” Luke‟s voice caught in his throat, and he cleared it before trying again. “It‟s a cock stimulator.” “Put it back!” “I was just imagining what it would be like on you.” “I know you were,” Adam said before he realized his mistake. He really was going to have to tell Luke and soon. He couldn‟t keep hiding the shock he got each time he received one of Luke‟s images, and it also wasn‟t fair to Luke. He should know that his graphically detailed thoughts were being transmitted to Adam. In some ways it was an invasion of privacy, and Adam knew if the reverse had been happening to him, he would be horrified. “Please, Luke, can we just get this stuff and go?” “You want me to buy this?” “No! I don‟t want you to buy it!” “But you don‟t know what it does.” Luke sounded like he was just about to go into a detailed description when Adam cut him off. “I can guess.” Adam nudged up against Luke and pressed his erection against Luke‟s hip. “And do you really think I need it?” Luke‟s light laughter sent a spark down to his balls. “No, you don‟t need it,” Luke answered. “Come on.” He took a few steps, then stopped. “What about this?” Adam groaned. Now what? “Luke, if you‟re doing this to torture me, you‟ve succeeded.” Luke‟s arm snaked around his waist, and Adam tensed, waiting for some vivid image of either him, Luke, or both of them naked. When it didn‟t come he relaxed, until Luke tightened his arm around him. “Have you ever watched a porno?” Adam raised an eyebrow and tried not to look like he was ready to pull Luke into his arms and kiss him stupid. “Watched one?” “You know what I mean. Have you?” “No.” “You should. The sound of men moaning while they pleasure each other is a real turn-on.” Luke didn‟t have to send an image to Adam this time, because Adam was able to come up with one all on his own. In his head he had Luke on his back, his cock in his hand, and he was kissing him, and oh yeah, Luke was moaning. He shook his head to clear the image and to clear the need to take Luke up against the wall.
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“We‟re not buying that either.” He reached out and took the plastic box off Luke and put it back on the shelf. Then he grabbed Luke‟s arm and pushed him in the direction of the service counter. “Spoilsport,” Luke mumbled. “Just these, gentlemen?” The assistant sounded young and perky, and for a second Adam wondered what kind of person would work in an establishment like this. Maybe she didn‟t think anything of it and looked on the whole thing as nothing more than a job. He heard Luke pay for everything and then, surprisingly, Luke grabbed his hand. On the way up, Adam had explained that he found it easier to hold on to an arm to be directed, and either Luke had forgotten, which Adam doubted, or he was deliberately making a point. When Luke linked their fingers together, Adam was convinced of it. Downstairs, however, Luke didn‟t let go until they reached his car. “She was making eyes at you, wasn‟t she?” Adam asked as Luke opened the door and helped him inside. “I‟m not going to ask how you knew that, but yeah.” Luke closed the door and a few seconds later climbed into the driver‟s side. Adam turned to him. “Why didn‟t you just ignore it?” Luke clicked his seat belt into place and started the engine. “I did,” he said, sounding confused. “So you didn‟t try to show her you weren‟t interested by linking our fingers together?” “Oh. I kind of guess I did. Sorry, I didn‟t think you‟d mind.” “I didn‟t. If I had, I would have pulled my hand free.” Adam still felt the warm pressure of Luke‟s fingers on his, and his hand tingled at the memory. Impulsively he reached over and placed his palm on top of Luke‟s thigh. The strong muscles flexed beneath his touch, and he felt Luke tense momentarily. “A little more to the right,” Luke said, his tone deliberately dipped low and sexy. Adam laughed but didn‟t move his hand. “Drive, and don‟t get distracted.” He heard Luke sigh dramatically before he felt him put the car in gear and pull out into traffic. Adam relaxed, though he could feel the heat of Luke‟s thigh under his palm. His palm itched, and he was tempted to do as Luke asked, but Luke was driving, and self-preservation was high up enough on Adam‟s list that he didn‟t dare. For both their sakes. “What‟s it like being blind?” A little surprised by the question, Adam wasn‟t sure how to respond, until he realized Luke wasn‟t asking him what it was like to maneuver around objects without being able to see. Luke‟s question was much deeper, but that just made it more difficult to answer.
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“It‟s dark,” he said, testing Luke, just in case he wasn‟t trying to find out what it was like to live without sight and was only making small talk. “No, I‟m serious. I really want to know.” Adam grimaced. He didn‟t think he was ready for this. It wasn‟t as if he minded talking about his blindness, but most people only wanted to know how he managed to do things. No one really wanted to know how hard it was, how painful when he was treated differently and not always with kindness. Because of that he had a bevy of small meaningless answers he usually managed to get away with, but he suspected Luke didn‟t want the stock standard replies, and Adam wasn‟t sure what to tell him. “Be a bit more specific about what you want to know,” he allowed. If Luke really was interested, it might be easier to take this one step at a time. “Okay. I know how you sense things around you by smell touch and sound, but how do you know when someone is smiling?” “Smiling? Well, generally I don‟t. Not physically anyway. I can usually tell when people are happy, so I guess they‟re smiling then.” “You can judge people‟s moods?” “Usually, but then most people can. I just have to be a little more alert.” “So you go by tone of voice, that sort of thing.” “Yes.” Adam tilted his head to face Luke. “Like you for instance. Despite the questions, you‟re relaxed. So if I say or do something that would enhance the way you feel, I have to assume you‟ll smile.” “You want to enhance the way I feel?” Luke‟s suggestive remark was so quick it took Adam a second to pick up on it. His body instantly tightened. “Would sucking you off do it?” he replied. The car swerved slightly, and Luke swore. “Fuck, Adam! Don‟t say things like that!” “You started it.” “Yeah, I know, but fuck, I didn‟t think you‟d say something like that.” Luke sounded shocked and turned on at the same time. “I‟m not a puritan,” Adam said, biting his lip to stop from laughing. “I have created a monster,” Luke muttered, squirming in his seat. “Want to find out what this monster really wants to do to you?” “No! God! Stop it!” Adam did laugh then—he couldn‟t help it. Luke was so easy to tease. “Here I was thinking you were a kind man, but you‟re not. You‟re rotten through and through.” Luke‟s complaint only made Adam laugh harder. “It‟s not funny, Adam. You try driving shift with a hard-on.” The visual Adam conjured up made him smirk, but he did stop laughing, for Luke‟s sake. “Sorry,” he said, but he wasn‟t, and Luke knew it. “Anything else you
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want to ask me?” he said by way of appeasement even though he knew Luke wasn‟t really annoyed with him. “Yeah. What about colors? You said you‟d tell me how you know about them.” Adam inwardly groaned. This wasn‟t any easier than Luke‟s first question. In fact it was harder, because this had a clear-cut answer that could have an adverse reaction. There was a good possibility that if he told Luke about the visions, he might think he was crazy. He didn‟t want to risk Luke dumping him, but he didn‟t want to lie either. He‟d already done enough lying this morning when he‟d told Luke he was content with his life. Since he‟d met Luke, he wasn‟t, not anymore, not by a long shot. He picked a compromise and only half lied. “My brother, Michael, was very good at explaining colors to me when we were growing up.” “Did he tell you what color your eyes are?” “My eyes?” Adam shrugged. “He said they were blue.” “No, they‟re not blue. They‟re aqua. A blue green, like a warm tropical sea off some island in paradise.” Adam laughed. “That‟s a better description than my brother gave.” “That‟s probably because he doesn‟t see you the same way I do.” “Probably.” Adam sat quietly for a moment, a little surprised at Luke‟s comment. He wanted to ask Luke how he did see him, but he guessed that would be pushing a point too far, but he was fully aware that Luke‟s observation suggested a deeper awareness and depth of feeling he hadn‟t thought Luke was willing to admit, even to himself. Without knowing it, Luke was beginning to give Adam a hint of the man who was hiding beneath layers of cocky assertion. It was what Adam wanted, and he knew if he wanted Luke to be open and honest with him, then he had to be honest with Luke. Making a decision and hoping it wasn‟t too much too soon, praying also that he didn‟t regret it, Adam stroked along Luke‟s thigh to get his attention. “Luke, have you heard of ESP?” “Extrasensory perception, yes, why?” Butterflies took up residence in Adam‟s stomach, and he took a deep breath to calm himself down. “How would you feel if I told you I had something like it?” He felt Luke shift and knew he was looking over at him. “You‟re kidding me, right?” “No. I can…” Adam stopped, not sure if this was a good idea. He wouldn‟t be able to take it if Luke rejected him, if he walked away. The humiliation would be bad enough, but losing Luke would be far worse. It was a risk, but if he wanted to take this further between them, then it was a risk he knew he had to take. And Luke had a right to know. “Go on,” Luke encouraged.
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Adam shook his head. “Maybe we shouldn‟t discuss this while you‟re driving. It might prove to be a distraction.” “More than the one you‟ve already given me?” Luke‟s fingers curled around his hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Okay. We‟ll stop for lunch.” “Stop?” “Yeah. I know this pub that serves some really nice food.” Puzzled, Adam frowned. “Why don‟t we just go home?” “Because I want to take you out for lunch.” “Why?” The car slowed and stopped, and Adam assumed they were at a traffic light. “Honestly?” Luke replaced his hand over Adam‟s again. “You‟ve been honest with me so far.” More than Adam had been with him. Feeling guilty, Adam removed his hand. He didn‟t want to get another image from Luke until he‟d told him about their link. “You need to get out. Do things,” Luke declared. “Pardon?” The car started off again, and Luke was quiet for a moment. Part of it Adam knew was because Luke had to concentrate, but he also guessed Luke was trying to figure out what to say. “I‟m guessing you don‟t have much of a social life, and I know you can‟t go out on your own, so I‟ve decided to take you out.” Luke‟s tone was half hesitation, half conviction. “You decided?” “Yeah.” More conviction this time. “Is that why you took me to the sex shop?” “Yes. I thought it would be a new experience for you.” “It was that, all right.” And more. Adam was stunned. Luke wanted to go places with him, do things with him. In public. The only other person to take him anywhere was Michael. Knowing he never got asked out by anyone else because they feared he might knock something over and embarrass them did nothing for his self-esteem, but he was used to that. He did knock things over sometimes, but then a lot of people did. Obviously Luke didn‟t seem to mind—either that or he didn‟t think Adam was going to make a hideous ass of himself. “What if I make a mess?” he asked, just in case Luke hadn‟t thought this over. “A mess?” “Yeah, you know, I might drop food down myself.” Luke quickly squeezed his leg. “No, you won‟t. You‟ll be fine.” Adam was on the verge of asking Luke if he was sure, but he stopped himself. He‟d resolved to not let fear stop him from having what he wanted, and he wanted to go out with Luke. He blew out a breath and steadied himself against rising
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apprehension. He could do this. He could prove to Luke that he wasn‟t a hindrance, that his blindness didn‟t have to mean he was disabled. After a few minutes he felt the car make a few short turns and stop again. Luke turned off the engine and turned in his seat. “Where are we?” Adam asked him, figuring they were in the lower mountains because he could clearly smell eucalyptus from some gum trees nearby “O‟Donoghue‟s. Little Irish pub. Gets real busy in the evenings.” Adam didn‟t know it, but then he wasn‟t likely to. He unhooked his seat belt while Luke got out of the car. His door was opened, and Luke was there, hovering, waiting to help. “I can get out of the car on my own.” “I know, but there‟s an edge just here, and I don‟t want you tripping over it.” Adam shook his head. He didn‟t need Luke‟s help or be made to feel like he needed it. “Pass me my cane and I‟ll be fine.” “Sure, if you want, but can‟t you just hold my hand?” “Hold your hand?” Suddenly Adam understood. This wasn‟t about Luke helping him; this was about Luke making a statement. “You want me to hold your hand in public?” “Haven‟t we already done that?” “But that was different.” “Was it?” Luke‟s question was challenging. He obviously didn‟t care if people knew he was gay, but Adam wasn‟t sure if he could be that open about his sexuality. He‟d never told anyone except his brother, but that was mainly because the need hadn‟t arisen. It wasn‟t as if he‟d had a lover to show off before now. As Luke stood there, waiting, Adam made a decision. He was already coming to realize it was either make it or break it with Luke. “Fine.” He held out his hand, and Luke‟s warm, receptive fingers wrapped around it. He was concentrating so much on Luke‟s touch he‟d forgotten what that touch could bring him, so the image that lodged in his brain was unexpected. It was also both colorful and lewd. Why Luke pictured Adam sitting on the hood of a yellow car, stark naked, was anyone‟s guess, but it made Adam grin. “Do you think of anything else other than sex?” Adam asked before realizing he may have spoken too soon. Luke froze, his hand slipping from Adam‟s “Did you just read my mind?” Adam froze as well, suddenly scared. He clenched his hand into a fist, already missing the warmth of Luke‟s. “No. It‟s not like that,” he stammered, worry gnawing at his insides. “What did you do, then?” Luke‟s demand made Adam tense. Luke was going to walk away; he knew he was. “Adam?” Luke‟s voice softened, and he knelt down, prying Adam‟s fingers loose and linking both of them together once more. “What did you do?”
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“It‟s not really me. It‟s you.” Adam stopped, knowing he wasn‟t explaining it properly. Would Luke understand? Could he? “Are you talking about this ESP thing?” Adam nodded, gripping Luke‟s fingers tight. He didn‟t want to let go, didn‟t want Luke to let him go. “I didn‟t read your mind. I saw what you imagined,” Adam confessed while his heart hammered in his throat. “You saw… Are you fucking serious?” Adam nodded again, not sure of Luke‟s reaction. Was Luke freaking out, or was he just a little stunned? Adam couldn‟t tell. Then Luke pulled on his hand. “How?” “I don‟t know. It‟s not something that anyone understands.” “This has happened to you before?” “With Michael.” “Holy shit. You are serious, aren‟t you?” “Yeah.” Adam still wasn‟t sure how Luke was taking this, until Luke stood up. “Come on. Let‟s go and get lunch, and you can explain it to me.” “I‟m not sure how to explain it,” Adam said, relieved and a little amazed that Luke wasn‟t turning tail and running. “We‟ll discuss it, then. You were right. I wouldn‟t have been able to drive and talk about this at the same time.” Luke pulled on his hand again, and Adam stood up, moving out of the way while Luke closed and locked the car door behind him. Luke began walking, and Adam walked by his side, confident that Luke wasn‟t going to let him trip over or bump into anything. Luke kept their fingers linked, his thumb occasionally rubbing over the back of Adam‟s hand. It felt like an unconscious act, as if Luke was deep in thought and didn‟t know he was doing it. Adam wondered what Luke was thinking about, and then decided he didn‟t want to know. Luke slowed and pulled Adam a little closer. “There‟s a slope just here,” Luke said before maneuvering them through some tables. “Six steps up, and then we‟re on a decking.” Luke‟s instructions came naturally, and Adam followed them without hesitation. It was a trust he rarely gave, and whether Luke knew it or not, Adam was fully aware he would never have followed anyone else with such ease. After traversing the stairs they entered a doorway, and Luke led them a short way to the right, then stopped. “We‟ll order a meal first and then get a drink, if that‟s all right.” Adam nodded absently and listened carefully to the noises around him. “Okay,” he said after a few seconds as Luke stood quietly beside him. “Do you want me to describe where we are and what it looks like?” Luke asked, his fingers tightening slightly.
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Adam smiled. “The kitchen is to our right. I can smell spices and stuff. The bar is ahead and to our left. If I‟m not mistaken, someone just poured a glass of beer. The space we‟re in is about the size of my apartment, but it has lots of tables and chairs, and it‟s kind of cozy, and the floor is made of timber.” “Okay, then. Don‟t need my help. Got it.” Adam laughed. “I‟ve got used to assessing where I am pretty quickly. But if you want to explain it a little better, that‟s okay.” “No, you‟ve pretty much got it down pat. Amazing.” “No, just practice.” He smiled again. “But thank you. I really appreciate how much you think of my needs.” “You don‟t need to thank me, Adam. Anyone would do it.” Adam didn‟t reply. He knew damn well not everyone would. Most would be too embarrassed or wouldn‟t have even thought he‟d like to know what his surroundings looked like. Luke wanted to know what it was like being blind. It was hard. Sometimes it was bloody hard. Luke squeezed his hand a little and then lifted it up. “I‟m going to have to let go.” “That‟s okay. I promise I won‟t wander off.” “Idiot.” Luke released his hand but didn‟t move. “What would you like?” he asked. “Order for me.” “Really?” “Yeah, I‟m not fussy.” “Oh, charming.” The light inflection in Luke‟s tone made Adam smile. He nudged Luke‟s shoulder and bent his head slightly. “Except for the men I sleep with. Then I‟m very picky.” “Yeah? How picky?” “Well, it was between you and this other guy, but he didn‟t have a sexy voice or a luscious smell.” “So I won.” “Hands down.” “I‟m glad to hear it, because I wouldn‟t want to have to beat this other guy up.” Luke‟s playfulness was something Adam was relieved to hear because it meant that Luke was comfortable around him. After their first few days together where it had been tense and awkward, having Luke make jokes was wonderful. But then their first few days had only been tense because they‟d both wanted something neither of them thought they could have. “You‟re smiling,” he said, standing so close he knew only Luke could hear.
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“Yeah.” Luke turned, brushing his hand against Adam‟s thigh. “Do I have to touch you for this image thing to work?” he asked suddenly. “Yes, why? What had you been imagining?” “You don‟t want to know.” “Yes, I do.” Luke‟s indrawn breath made Adam smile. He could easily guess what Luke had been imagining, but maybe Luke was right; maybe having another image of himself spread out on a bed or in some other location wasn‟t exactly a good thing right now. “Hang on. Let me just order lunch first.” Luke stepped away and Adam heard him order two plates of chicken carbonara and some herb bread. A minute later he grabbed Adam‟s hand again. “What would you like to drink?” Adam shrugged. “Orange juice will do.” “You don‟t want a beer or anything?” “Thanks, but I‟m not much of a drinker. You can have one if you want, though.” “And get caught DUI? I don‟t think so. I don‟t need that on my criminal record as well.” Adam frowned, surprised that Luke had brought it up. “What did you do?”
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Chapter Five Luke stiffened and fought the urge to drop Adam‟s hand. “It doesn‟t matter,” he said, hoping Adam would leave it at that, but he should have known better. “Luke, I won‟t judge you.” “Let‟s drop it, okay?” Looking directly at Adam, Luke wished he had the courage to confess what he‟d done, but he didn‟t have the balls to take that much of a risk. Disgusted at his own actions, Luke didn‟t think anyone else would understand or forgive. If he couldn‟t, why would they? And if Adam found out, Luke knew damn well he would never be able to look the man in the face again. God this was so fucking wrong. “Maybe we shouldn‟t do this,” he said, suddenly realizing what an idiot he had been. “What? Lunch?” “No. This, us.” Adam‟s face paled, his beautiful eyes widening in concern. “Why?” Luke felt his chest tighten. Fuck, this was not the right time and place for this. “You don‟t really know anything about me,” he tried to explain, knowing what a shit job he was doing of it. “Well, I‟ve got three weeks in which to learn.” Adam looked apprehensive, though Luke could tell he was trying to sound calm. “I don‟t think that‟s a good idea,” he said, not liking what he was doing but knowing it was the right choice. Adam could never really want him. He might think he did, but there could never be anything long-term between them, and Adam would come to realize that sooner than later. And when he did he‟d regret everything they‟d done and resent Luke for not being truthful with him. “That‟s the second time you‟ve tried to dissuade me.” Adam took a tiny step closer to him and stroked the back of his hand, his thumb rubbing in soft, reassuring circles. “I could ask you why, but I know you‟re not going to tell me.” Adam sighed. “I know you think you need to hide whatever it is you did from me. I don‟t know why, but that‟s your choice, and I won‟t pry into it, okay?” Luke almost groaned. He hadn‟t wanted Adam to think he was hiding something, but there was little Adam didn‟t notice. “You don‟t want to know me, Adam.” “Why don‟t you let me decide?” Adam brought their clasped hands up to his chest and pressed them against his heart. The simple act formed a lump in Luke‟s
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throat, and he found it hard to take a breath. He didn‟t try to pull free, but Adam must have sensed he felt on edge, because he tightened his hold. “I don‟t want to stop, Luke. Not yet. Please. Not when you can show me so much.” Luke winced. Fuck, he didn‟t want to do this. He didn‟t want to push Adam away, but God help him, he didn‟t want Adam finding out about his past either. Why the fuck hadn‟t he thought about this earlier? Why the fuck had he started something he knew he shouldn‟t have? “Luke?” The worry on Adam‟s face tore at him. What kind of man was he? What kind of man would walk away when so much hung on him staying? He couldn‟t, not after what Adam had just said. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! “Oh!” Adam suddenly looked stunned. “What?” “You just…” Adam shook his head. “You just swore three times in your head.” “You heard me?” Now Luke was stunned. “No, you imagined the words, all with exclamation points on the end. Are you angry with me?” “No! God, I could never be angry with you.” “Then what was that for?” “I‟m angry at myself.” Luke took a deep breath, desperate for oxygen in his lungs while he struggled with morality and self-preservation. Adam stood quietly beside him, waiting. Luke looked up into eyes that were filled with confusion. It didn‟t help, because Luke was just as confused. “Let‟s get a drink, and then we‟d better sort out this link between us.” He went to move toward the bar, but Adam stopped him. “Do you still want to end this with me?” Adam asked, his eyes now darkened in fear. There was only one answer Luke could give. Only one that would stop the dread in Adam‟s eyes. “No. I don‟t want to end it,” he said. If Adam found out about what he‟d done, it would be Adam who would be ending things between them, not him. He wouldn‟t have a choice. “Good.” Adam squeezed his hand and led him toward the bar. Luke was still amazed that Adam had known exactly where it was, but maybe he shouldn‟t be so surprised. Adam was proving to be an extraordinary person. He caught the bartender‟s eye and ordered two orange juices. Once he was served he brought them to the table that was tucked into a small nook under the stairs. Adam gracefully eased into the bench, and Luke sat down opposite. He was on edge, and Adam looked just as uneasy, which Luke knew to be all his fault. Regretting the loss of the rapport they‟d managed to acquire during the
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past few hours, he reached over the table and gripped Adam‟s hand in his. “I‟m sorry. I got a little defensive, and I shouldn‟t have.” Adam‟s smile was small but there. “It‟s fine, but if you ever want to talk about it, I‟ll be ready to listen.” Luke grimaced. He‟d never be ready to talk about it. He released Adam‟s hand and sat back. “So, these images you see in your head—how do they work?” he asked, wanting to get away from the ugliness of his past and on to something of great consequence to both of them. If Adam thought his abrupt change of topic was bad manners, he didn‟t show it. “I don‟t know how. The doctors never really understood it. They explained it away by saying that as I was blind at birth, I developed a sixth sense that could pick up visual images in my brother‟s head.” “So you can see anything he sees?” Adam shook his head. “No, it‟s not like that. I could only see what he imagined. He could be looking at one thing but think of something else, and if he pictured it in his head, I could get the image.” “And that‟s what you did with me?” “It‟s not just me. You‟re actually projecting those images into my head.” “I am?” Luke leaned forward on the table, resting his forearms on the edge. “I don‟t understand.” “Like I said, neither do I, but think of it as me being a television and you being an antenna. You send a signal, I pick it up, but there has to be a connection linking us together.” “And that connection is activated when we touch?” “Yes.” “But why me?” Adam shook his head. “I don‟t know, Luke. This has never happened with anyone other than Michael.” “So that‟s how you know colors? From Michael showing them to you?” “Yes, but his images were far less graphic than yours; actually they were a little fuzzy. Yours are really crystal clear, and the colors are amazingly brilliant,” Adam explained. Luke sat quietly for a moment, thinking this over. He‟d heard of ESP—who hadn‟t?—but to actually be a part of it was pretty amazing. “You said you could only see what Michael imagined. Does that mean you can‟t anymore?” “We haven‟t had the link since we were teenagers.” “When one of you hit puberty,” Luke figured out. “Yes, how did you know that?” “I watched a few programs on it. Fucking weird stuff.”
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“Weird but wonderful,” Adam agreed, the smile on his face a little more natural, a little less strained. It was at that moment Luke began to fully understand the implications of their extraordinary link. Adam was blind, saw nothing, yet Luke had to ability to change that, to change his life, for the better. And he‟d been ready to walk away, to deny Adam something incredibly rare. Right then Luke knew he couldn‟t feel any worse, couldn‟t feel any more of a bastard. “Fuck, I‟m sorry,” he whispered. He knew Adam wasn‟t reading his mind, but he must have known how he was feeling, because he leaned across the table and curled his fingers around Luke‟s. “Don‟t be. And I understand if you don‟t want to be a part of this with me. I shouldn‟t have put that pressure on you.” “Are you serious? You do understand what I can do for you?” “Yes, I understand.” “And you think I wouldn‟t help you?” “I don‟t want you to do it from some shame-induced moral obligation, Luke. I won‟t accept either your pity or your charity. I‟ll only let you do this because you want to; if not, then I‟d rather you didn‟t do it at all.” “Fuck, Adam, of course I want to! Don‟t think I don‟t, please.” “And the sex?” “What? “Do you still want to do that?” Adam‟s face was so sincere that Luke felt like climbing over the table and showing Adam how much he still wanted sex with him. But Adam suddenly grinned, and Luke realized he didn‟t have to climb over the table; he‟d already shown him. “Can I control what I send you? Because that‟s beginning to freak me out.” Adam‟s grin softened into a smile. “You should be able to. As kids, Michael and I didn‟t really try to control it, but as we got older, we learned how. At the later stages we didn‟t really touch unless he wanted to show me something.” Luke pulled at Adam‟s hand. “And we keep touching all the time.” Adam‟s smile was full and genuine, and Luke started to relax, beginning to feel less like a louse and more like someone who could finally do some good. “I like touching you,” Adam said, linking their fingers tighter. The soft slide of Adam‟s fingers on his sent a hot need racing through his body. Luke groaned, though he kept the sound low. “And I like you touching me.” “I know. And I don‟t need an image to tell me.” “It‟s complicated for you, isn‟t it?” Luke asked, thinking back to their conversation in the car. “Being blind?” Adam shrugged. “I‟ve learned to live without sight. If it hadn‟t been for Michael, I wouldn‟t know any different.”
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“But what he did helped.” “It gave me an advantage, yes, but it also showed me what I was missing.” Adam turned his face slightly, and Luke detected a sound of sorrow in Adam‟s voice. “It‟s going to be hard for you when I leave, isn‟t it?” Luke didn‟t want to think of it, but he had to be a realist. When he left, the link between them would end. “Not in the way you‟re thinking.” Adam turned back to face him, a little smile playing around his lips. Not sure what Adam meant, Luke leaned forward. “When did you get my first image?” “When you first kissed me.” Remembering last night, Luke frowned. “Is that why you passed out?” He‟d nearly had a heart attack when Adam had fainted. He hadn‟t known what to do and had been on the point of calling an ambulance when Adam had woken up. Adam shrugged and looked a little embarrassed. “Unfortunately, yes. The images came hard and fast, and I couldn‟t cope with the overload.” “Shit, I‟m sorry.” “Hey, not your fault. How the hell could either of us know something like that was going to happen?” “You‟re not going to pass out on me again, are you? I‟m not sure I could go through that again. Seriously, you scared the crap out of me.” Adam shook his head and smiled. “I doubt it. I think the migraine may have had something to do with it too.” “So this is not going to have an adverse effect on you?” “No, just the opposite.” Adam‟s cheek dimpled, and Luke reined in the impulse to lean over the table and kiss him. “Do you want to try something now? See if you can get a picture?” Luke asked, eager to see what he could do. “Other than me naked?” Adam asked with a smirk. Oh, God. Luke just realized that most of what he‟d been imagining over the past few days had been Adam naked or in some state of undress. And in the porn shop, he‟d imagined Adam using the cock stimulator. Fuck! “Um, yeah, that one was pretty graphic.” Adam‟s amusement was laced with something else. Interest? Luke felt his cock start to fill out and stiffen, and he willed it down. This was definitely not the place to be sporting a hard-on. “Sorry. Let me try that again.” Luke concentrated on the color of Adam‟s eyes, just a patch of aqua that he didn‟t associate with anything else in his mind. “Is that a color?” Adam asked, frowning. Thrilled he‟d gotten it right, Luke grinned. “It‟s the color of your eyes.” “Seriously? Wow, they‟re not really blue, are they?”
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“No. They‟re beautiful.” Adam raised an eyebrow, and Luke realized just how soppy he‟d sounded. Deciding to show Adam something less personal, Luke looked around and, spotting the brick fireplace in the corner next to the bar, pictured it in his head, trying to imagine it with real burning logs. “Did you get that?” he asked, knowing Adam had when he smiled. “A fireplace with burning logs. Well, I‟m assuming that‟s what they were.” “Yes, or they were supposed to be. Maybe I‟m not getting it right.” Adam quickly shook his head. “No, it‟s not you, but I‟ve never had an image like that before, so I didn‟t fully recognize it. I had nothing to compare it to.” “How are you seeing it? I mean, what do any of my images look like, in your head?” “I‟m seeing pretty much exactly what you‟re imagining, from your perspective. The picture appears like a memory, but if it‟s something I‟ve never seen before, I associate it to something I‟ve touched.” “Like what?” “Well, Michael never got around to showing me a saltshaker, but I‟ve touched one and would have a pretty good idea what it would look like.” Luke quickly glanced at the cheap plastic one on the table. He imagined it and sent the image to Adam. “Like that?” he asked, watching Adam‟s face carefully. Adam grinned. “Yes, like that.” Warming up to the process, Luke grinned with him. “Hang on. Let me think of something else.” But now that he had to think about it, imagining something wasn‟t all that easy. Racking his brain, he tried to think of something else that wouldn‟t be too difficult to picture in his head. He thought about his car, then suddenly remembered that while in the car park, he‟d been thinking of Adam sitting on the hood, naked. And in the kitchen this morning, he‟d thought about rubbing up against Adam just before the man had hauled him up onto the kitchen bench and done exactly that. Was that why Adam had done it, because he‟d seen what Luke had wanted? Jesus, what else had he imagined that Adam had picked up on? Suddenly snatching his hand out of Adam‟s, Luke felt his stomach churn in fear. “Luke? Are you all right?” Fuck no! What if Adam had gotten an image of the fire? What if he‟d seen what Luke had done? Horrified, he tried to recall everything he‟d thought about since yesterday, but there had been so much. There was no way to remember what he had or hadn‟t brought to memory, or if he‟d been touching Adam at the time. “Luke? What‟s wrong?” “Nothing. I‟m, um, I‟m fine. I just thought of something. That was all.” He searched Adam‟s face. There was nothing to indicate that Adam knew what he‟d done, and for that Luke was eternally grateful. He took a deep breath and fought the worry gnawing at his insides. He couldn‟t let his fear of rejection stop him from
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doing this with Adam. It would be cruel to say the least. Adam didn‟t deserve to have this taken off him just because Luke had something in his past he didn‟t want known. He was just going to have to be careful and keep his thoughts in check, and he definitely had to stop acting like he had something to hide. Feeling like a fool, he reached over and gripped Adam‟s hand again, trying to show that he was still okay with this. Adam gripped his hand back, a look of relief passing over his face, but his eyes held more than a hint of steely determination that Luke had spotted once before, and Luke had a funny feeling that Adam wouldn‟t have easily let him walk away. “Those first images you got, what did you see?” he asked now, determined to make this work, to do what he could for Adam, to at least stop fucking worrying about what other people thought of him. Yeah, like that was going to happen. Adam shrugged one shoulder and turned his head to the side. “I don‟t really remember,” he said. Luke was beginning to identify the movement. Adam was upset over something. And he was also lying. No blind man getting an image like that would be likely to forget what he‟d seen. “What did you see, Adam?” he asked again, worried now that Adam had seen a glimpse of the fire. Adam turned back to face him. “I can‟t live up to your expectations, Luke. I‟m not as good as you think I am.” “Expectations? I‟m not expecting anything from you. What expectations?” What was Adam going on about? Adam bit his bottom lip, then sighed. “You sent me a lot of images, but of them all, four things stood out. They were the most graphic, the most detailed.” “And?” Adam hesitated, then seemed to come to a decision. “You sent me an image of a yellow car, a green field, and a red sunset. The last…the last was of you and me, making love.” “And what‟s wrong with that?” “You put angel wings on my back,” Adam said, his voice not quite even. “Oh.” Luke didn‟t remember, but it kind of seemed an odd thing to do. “Is that how you see me?” Adam asked, a faint frown between his eyes. “As an angel?” Luke grinned and had to stop the urge to laugh out loud. “No, I do not see you as an angel. A horny devil, more like.” He‟d never known anyone to have an appetite for sex the way Adam did. “Then why the hell give me wings?” “I don‟t remember doing it, but I suppose it was because I‟d been fantasizing about you for days. You were kind of off-limits. I never in a million years thought I‟d ever have a chance to be with you.” “Why not?” Adam‟s frown deepened.
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Luke stared at him, not quite sure what to say. He‟d never opened up to anyone the way he‟d already done with Adam, but maybe Adam deserved to know the truth, or at least some of it. “Because I knew I wasn‟t good enough for you.” “Not good enough! Are you serious? Where on earth would you get an absurd idea like that?” Adam‟s fingers had tightened on Luke‟s, and his mouth had turned into an angry line. “Come on, Adam, you‟ve done so much with your life. You earned a degree, have a job. I‟ve done nothing, got nothing.” Luke knew he sounded pathetic, but he was honest with himself; he knew his life didn‟t amount to much. “You‟re a mechanic. That took years of training, dedication. You can‟t say you‟ve done nothing.” “I‟m not fully qualified. I didn‟t finish my apprenticeship.” “That doesn‟t mean you‟re not going to. You just need to find someone who will take you on.” “With a criminal record?” The sentence hung between them, and though Luke had tried not to sound bitter, he knew Adam could easily detect it in his tone. He tried to pull his hand free of Adam‟s grip, but Adam wouldn‟t let go. “You have to believe in yourself, Luke, because no one else will if you don‟t.” “What have I got to believe in that‟s good?” God, this conversation was going down well! “Stop putting yourself down, Luke. Look what you‟re doing for me.” “But that‟s not much, is it?” “Not much? Luke, you‟re giving me the chance to see things I‟ve never seen before. You‟re allowing me to touch you, talk to you, make love to you, and believe me, from a blind virgin‟s perspective, that‟s a lot.” “I guess so.” Adam twisted his fingers in Luke‟s. “Luke, you‟re going to change my life, make it richer, fuller, fun. Is that not enough, or don‟t I matter?” “Fuck, of course you do!” Adam smiled, his eyes lighting up. “Well, then.” Luke couldn‟t help but smile back—it was difficult not to when around Adam. “You‟re a nice person, Adam. You know that?” Adam pulled on his hand. “Can anyone see us?” Luke glanced around. “No, why?” “Lean over here and kiss me.” The half request, half command started Luke‟s stomach rolling. God, Adam was sexy when he looked like that, in control and knowing what he wanted. Unable to deny him and wanting a kiss for himself, he leaned over the table and cupped Adam‟s cheek. He didn‟t linger, because there was a good possibility someone could
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walk by and see them, but he still opened his mouth and joined his tongue with Adam‟s before moving away. “Feel better now?” Adam asked. “Yeah. Thanks.” “And for the record, I fantasized about you from the first moment we met. I‟d never been attracted to anyone before, and it really took every ounce of self-control not to pounce on you every time you walked through the door.” Luke couldn‟t help it. Adam‟s words evoked an image of him being set upon, Adam‟s big golden body pinning him to the floor and thrusting into him, slowly at first, then faster until he shattered in an orgasm so powerful it blew his mind. Adam‟s fingers tightening painfully on his drew Luke‟s attention back to the man he was fantasizing about. Adam looked shocked, but there was a rigid set to his body that could only mean one thing—Adam was turned on. Luke grinned and didn‟t apologize. If Adam wanted to start putting scenarios in his head, it wasn‟t his fault if Adam got them back in graphic detail. “You‟re cruel,” Adam told him. “You started it,” Luke defended. “I meant for bringing me here. I could have you in my bed right now, doing that to you.” Luke shivered as his previous vision morphed from the floor to a bed. Adam laughed and released his hand. “If you keep that up, neither of us are going to make it through lunch.” It was a good thing Adam had let go of his hand, because right then he imagined them on the table, Adam on his back and Luke riding him. Oh, God, he was turning into a sex maniac. Trying to focus his thoughts on something else, he was surprised when Adam pressed a leg against his. “If you keep that up, we‟re not going to make it through the next couple of minutes,” Luke warned him, though he pressed back up against Adam‟s leg, sliding his own between Adam‟s thighs. Adam chuckled, and Luke grinned, completely relaxing as the empathy they‟d lost earlier returned in full force. “I like you like this,” he said impulsively. “Like what?” “Happy.” Adam‟s smile was full and bright. It made Luke‟s heart squeeze, and at that moment, Luke wished he could make Adam happy all the time. But there was no way to do that. No way at all. Luke picked up his drink just as the buzzer went off to announce their lunch was ready. He‟d almost forgotten about it. At Adam‟s quizzical frown, Luke stood up.
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“Our food is ready. I‟ll go and get it.” Adam nodded and without any awkwardness reached for his glass. Luke watched him for a moment, truly fascinated with Adam‟s ability, until Adam turned in his direction. “I‟ll be back in a minute,” he said and turned away reluctantly. Luke knew he was beginning to like Adam too much, and a large part of him knew he shouldn‟t. If Adam started to like him in return, he would only get hurt, and Luke didn‟t want to hurt him. Disturbed at where his thoughts were taking him, Luke went to the bistro and collected their bowls of pasta and the plate of herb bread. When he got back, Adam was waiting for him, still relaxed. Luke was now anything but. He put the bowls on the table and handed Adam a napkin and fork. “I‟ve put the bread between us,” he said, sitting down, his movements short and jerky and hoping Adam wouldn‟t notice. He tried to relax again, tried to feel like he wasn‟t going to destroy someone‟s life. Again. “What am I eating?” Adam held his fork poised over the pasta, the smile on his face turning into a grin. “Oh shit, I‟m sorry. It‟s ribbon pasta with a creamy mushroom sauce with bacon and chicken.” “It smells nice.” “You should try mine,” Luke discounted, trying to sound normal and feeling like he‟d succeeded when Adam smiled. “You can cook?” “I‟m Italian. Of course I can cook.” “Maybe you can cook for us, then, because I‟m lousy. That‟s why I usually order in.” “For us.” Adam‟s words echoed in Luke‟s head, and despite how dangerous it was, despite knowing it was a stupid idea, he liked the way it sounded. They ate in silence. Luke suspected Adam was replaying some of the images Luke had sent him, and Luke couldn‟t get it out of his head that he was beginning to want Adam for longer than the three weeks he‟d allowed. “Have you ever played pool?” Where the idea came from, Luke didn‟t quite know, but as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he was imagining Adam standing next to a table, naked, with a pool cue in his hand. He couldn‟t help laughing and wished he‟d been touching Adam right then. When Adam raised an eyebrow, another sign Luke was beginning to identify, he ignored it and reiterated his question. “Well, have you?” “No. I‟ve never tried.” “Do you want a game?” “You want me to play pool?” Adam‟s look was more than just skeptical; it was dumbfounded.
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Once again, Luke felt the impulse to coax Adam to do something outside his experience. There was nothing wrong with trying to play pool, and the look on Adam‟s face only made Luke more determined. This would also be a perfect opportunity for him to hone his picture imaging skills. “It‟ll be fun.” “It‟ll be a disaster.” “No, it won‟t. I promise. I told you I want to do things with you, show you things you wouldn‟t normally get a chance to do. Can we try, please?” “Playing pool?” “Amongst other things, yeah, why not? Come on, Adam. Where‟s the harm?” Adam looked doubtful, and Luke worried he was pushing Adam too fast, but he really wanted to do this, really wanted to show his worth. He reached over to touch Adam‟s hand. “I‟ll show you,” he said, sending Adam the image he‟d just had in his mind, knowing it wasn‟t quite the way to convince Adam, but it was the only thing he had right now. “You really don‟t think of much else besides sex, do you?” “Oh, did you get that?” Luke asked innocently. Adam just shook his head, but he was grinning. “Come on.” Luke stood up and reached down to take Adam‟s hand, then stopped. There were a lot more people in the pub now, and though he didn‟t give a damn what other people thought of him holding hands with another man, he wanted to make sure Adam was still okay with it. When Adam reached up and automatically took his hand, Luke smiled in satisfaction, but just in case he bent his elbow and brought his arm up so it would still look like he was helping Adam if anyone should notice. “Coward.” Adam‟s whisper was ringed with amusement. “I was doing it for you,” Luke protested. “You don‟t need to worry about my sensibilities. I‟m not suddenly going to start getting shy about holding your hand.” “As long as you still don‟t mind,” Luke checked. “If you don‟t, why should I?” There were a million reasons why Adam should mind, but Luke didn‟t have the strength to voice any of them right now. He dropped his arm and linked their fingers back together. “Better?” he asked. “Much.” He led them to the room off the other side of the bar where the pool tables were set up. There were two tables, one of which was already being used by a couple of men. Luke stopped by the available table and fished in his pocket for a coin. “I‟ll set the table up, then show you how it looks, and then we‟ll have a go at seeing how straight you can shoot.”
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“You know I‟m going to probably whack you over the head with the cue, don‟t you?” “I‟ll take the risk,” Luke said, once more feeling like he was doing something good. He set the balls up, then found two cues. “Right, this end you use to hit the white cue ball, which is supposed to strike one of the colored balls, which in turn is supposed to go down one of the six pockets.” “And where are the pockets?” Luke took Adam‟s hand and walked him around the table. “One at each corner and one in the middle of each length.” He turned his back to the two players on the other table, who had begun to look over with interest. “Ready for me to show you?” he asked, lowering his voice slightly. Adam nodded, so Luke imagined the table how he‟d set it up. “Okay, got it.” “All right, you go first.” He maneuvered Adam to the head of the table and showed him how to hold the cue. “The colored balls are in a triangle. Aim for the point. It‟ll scatter them.” “Don‟t laugh if I miss.” Adam bent over and placed his hand on the table before spreading his finger and thumb out to rest the tip of the cue on. He then drew his right arm back and then forward, effortlessly striking the white ball dead center. It raced across the table and hit the collection of balls, scattering them across the green velvet in a perfect arrangement. Luke stared. “You‟re having me on, aren‟t you?” he asked. Adam straightened and turned. “Nope, never played in my life.” “You could have fooled me.” “Let‟s see how I go on the next shot,” Adam warned. Luke checked the table, then chose his position to play the white ball. He hit a color, but it missed the pocket. At Adam‟s turn he quickly passed him an image of how the balls were sitting. Adam pocketed his ball. “Is he really blind?” One of the men from the next table was watching. They‟d obviously noticed Adam‟s lack of sight and seemed just as surprised by his skill on the table. “Unless he‟s been lying to me.” Adam dipped his head at Luke‟s quip and smiled. “No, I‟m blind as a bat.” “Bats aren‟t blind,” Luke retorted. “They aren‟t?” Adam‟s smile twisted into a grin, and that dimple of his burrowed into his left cheek. Luke stared at it and licked his lips, then tore his gaze away when he remembered the other two men in the room. He took a quick glance at them, then moved to Adam‟s side. Touching his hand he sent him a new image of the table with the new position of the cue ball. For show he moved Adam into the correct position.
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“Here?” Adam asked, knowing they were being watched. “Yeah, a little more to your left, though.” Adam potted his next ball too. Amazed at how accurately Adam was reading the images, Luke moved him to the other side of the table and watched him pot another ball. “Okay, you‟re freaking me out,” he said as Adam straightened, grinning. Both the men from the other side of the table were now paying close attention. “Do you want a game of doubles?” the first man who had spoken asked. Luke went to shake his head, then changed his mind. What harm would it do? He looked over to Adam. “Do you want to play as a pair? Us against these two?” Adam hesitated, but as if sensing Luke‟s intentions, he nodded. “If you like.” Luke grinned. “Set ‟em up,” he said to the other man. He held out his hand. “Luke, and my friend here is Adam.” The other man took it. “Kyle, and this is my…Jared.” Kyle grinned as Jared struck him on the shoulder. “Asshole,” Jared muttered as he set up the table for a new game. It took Luke all of a second to realize the two men were gay, and a couple. Both men were tall and powerfully built, Jared a little more than Kyle. Luke wouldn‟t have hesitated to say both men were good-looking in that rugged kind of way, but as he quickly glanced at Adam, he knew neither of them even came close to Adam‟s perfect face and body. Kyle leaned in a little. “You‟re together, right?” he asked, nodding at Adam. Luke glanced up into bright and knowing blue eyes. “Yes, we‟re together.” But for how long? Disheartened, he headed back to Adam, who was waiting patiently again by the table. He grabbed Adam‟s hand and stroked up his arm, wanting contact, wanting comfort. “Hey, are you all right?” Adam asked, aligning his body close so their hips touched. Luke looked into Adam‟s brilliant aqua eyes and felt like pulling him into his arms and kissing him, simply because kissing Adam made him feel better. It made him feel wanted. Adam moved in closer. “Are they looking?” he asked. For one second, Luke didn‟t know why Adam had asked; then he realized he‟d inadvertently sent Adam an image of kissing him, and Adam had assumed that was what he wanted to do. Glancing over at Jared and Kyle, Luke nodded. “Yes.” “Do you want to kiss me anyway?” Yes, he did, so much it was like a burning need. Instead he shook his head because if he started kissing Adam now, he wouldn‟t be able to stop. “No, I‟m fine,” he said, but he wasn‟t, and he could sense Adam knew that.
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Shaking off the looming despondency, he pulled on Adam‟s hand. “Come on. I‟ll introduce you and show you what they look like.” He brought Adam over, and as they shook hands, he sent an image of each of them so Adam would have a face to go with the voice. And then he sent a picture of himself. At Adam‟s slight cock of his head, Luke leaned in and whispered, “In case you‟ve forgotten.” “Not in a million years.” Adam lifted his hands up and gave his fingers a little wiggle. Luke almost groaned then, remembering all too well how those fingers had seen him, all of him. Maybe playing pool wasn‟t such a good idea. Maybe he should get Adam home, now. “Who goes first?” Jared stood at the side of the table holding a cue. Luke almost regretted agreeing to a game, but this was for Adam. What Luke wanted didn‟t matter. “We can toss for it,” he said, catching a grin on Kyle‟s face before Jared joined in. “Let Adam break. That shot of his was impressive.” Kyle moved to stand by Jared and casually leaned back into his chest. Jared snaked an arm around Kyle‟s waist in an emphatic statement that said he’s mine. Yet the act was unconscious. These two men were at ease with each other and their relationship. Luke had rarely seen it, but as he glanced up at Adam, he knew the man at his side would be one of those who would be comfortable with whomever he was with and whatever his surroundings. He‟d seriously underestimated Adam, Luke realized now. It was easy to see that Adam could make any situation his own. Even being somewhere he‟d never been, doing something he‟d never done, he was able to fit in, able to relax. It was more than Luke could usually do, and he was fully sighted. Adam‟s inner strength was something Luke admired and wondered if it was something he‟d be able to strive for himself. Once again he put Adam into position and was amazed when Adam made the same perfect shot. Kyle came up to the table but fumbled a ball off a corner pocket. When Luke went to take his turn, he noticed both men shift slightly, and he knew damn well they were checking out his ass. Unable to concentrate he stuffed up his shot, and then Jared got ready. It soon became clear this game was going to be between Jared and Adam. Jared potted two balls, and with a little help from Luke, Adam potted three. Luke wasn‟t too surprised when neither Kyle nor himself got a ball down, and they both stood back to watch Jared drop three consecutive colors. “Your turn,” Jared said, a grin on his face. He‟d left the white in an almost impossible position, cornered by two solid-colored balls. It would be a miracle if Adam didn‟t hit one of them while trying to connect with his striped ones. Luke stood next to Adam and showed him the lay of the table, then for the benefit of the two men watching brought Adam‟s hand up to hover over each of the balls as he explained where they were.
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“This is the white,” he said. “And those two are Jared‟s. One of yours is over here.” Adam raised an eyebrow, then set himself up. “Ten dollars says I pot my ball,” he said. “You‟re on.” Jared‟s confident tone caused Adam to grin. He turned his head slightly and winked at Luke, and then all three of them watched in astonished silence as with the strike of his cue, Adam jumped the white ball over the two solid balls. It skimmed across the table and kissed the edge of his striped ball which leisurely rolled into a middle pocket. The satisfying thud as it hit the bottom brought a delighted laugh from Adam‟s throat. “No fucking way!” Jared said. Luke turned to see a grinning Kyle slap Jared on the shoulder. “Pay up, big guy.” Luke sidled up to Adam. “How did you do that?” Adam leaned his hip against the table, all confident smiles. “I was always very good at trigonometry.” Jared passed over ten dollars to Adam in good grace. “I think we‟ve been hustled,” he said, but then shook Adam‟s hand. For one sharp moment, Luke felt a zap of jealousy hit him. He knew it was stupid—they were only shaking hands—but he‟d already started to think of Adam‟s hands as exclusively his. Adam saw with those hands, and Luke didn‟t want Adam seeing anyone but him. He bit down on his lip to stop from saying something, knowing Adam wouldn‟t appreciate him acting like an idiot. It wasn‟t as if he had anything to be jealous about. Adam wasn‟t his and never would be. “Um, can you give us a minute?” Kyle grabbed Jared by the arm and practically dragged him out of the room. Luke watched them go, a little surprised at their abrupt behavior. “What‟s that all about?” he asked, sliding a look at Adam. “Beats me.” Adam shrugged, but there was a small smile edging his mouth. As Luke watched, Adam picked up one of the balls off the table and rolled it in his hand a few times, then put it back in its exact location. “Can you take me to the bathroom?” Luke glanced toward the door Jared and Kyle had gone through, then looked back at Adam. “Sure.” He went to reach for Adam‟s hand, but Adam hooked his fingers through the back of Luke‟s jeans, his warm touch sending a tingle of desire to Luke‟s balls. “Lead the way,” Adam said, giving Luke a gentle push. Luke peeked over his shoulder, overly conscious of the feel of Adam‟s fingers against his skin. With every step the fingers moved, rubbing against the small of his back. Embarrassingly his cock stirred in response, the full length thickening and filling out the front of his jeans. With no small measure of relief, he pushed
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open the door to the bathroom but was jerked to a standstill just inside. Adam turned him around and placed his finger on Luke‟s lips. “Shh,” he whispered. Adam pushed him farther into the bathroom and closed the door quietly behind them. For one startled second Luke couldn‟t understand what Adam was doing; then Adam leaned against him, bringing his mouth to his ear. “Listen.” Confused, Luke was about to say something when he heard a muffled groan coming from the stall farthest away from the door. “Did you see how fucking hot his ass was?” The whispered words were faint but distinct. “Yes, that‟s why we‟re in here.” The groan came again, louder this time, and then a plea. “Harder.” There was a soft sucking sound, then a harsh gasp, and Luke felt every nerve ending in his body tingle in response. Adam pushed his hips up against Luke‟s. “You know, you‟re right. It is a turnon listening to other men groan,” he whispered. Luke would have groaned too, if he hadn‟t known that to do so would have caused the other men to stop. Instead he rubbed up against Adam and was rewarded with Adam‟s hard mouth clamping down on his. Adam‟s hands came up and held Luke‟s head. His tongue pressed for entry, and Luke opened up for him, swallowing Adam‟s moan. “Oh, fuck, I‟m gonna come!” Luke recognized it as Kyle‟s voice and imagined Jared on his knees sucking on Kyle‟s cock. Adam sucked in a harsh breath as he got the image and pressed closer, his erection hot and heavy against Luke‟s hip. Reaching down, Luke cupped it in his palm and squeezed gently. Adam shuddered, then slid one finger down the front of Luke‟s jeans, collected the clear juice that had leaked from the slit of his cock, brought it to his mouth, and sucked on it. Luke‟s knees went weak. Adam grinned and held him up just as Kyle‟s low, guttural groan heightened the tension already coiled between them. “Yeah, that‟s it. Give it up for me.” Jared‟s deep rasp nearly undid Luke. He grabbed on to Adam‟s shoulders as Kyle groaned again, and the unmistakable sound of the other man coming could be heard above everything else. Adam drew back and put his lips to Luke‟s ear. “I think it‟s time we got out of here,” he whispered. Heart pounding, his body tight with arousal, Luke was barely able to nod. They left just as quietly as they‟d entered, Adam leading the way for a moment until Luke managed to shake off the sexual haze listening to the two men had produced. It wasn‟t the first time he‟d heard such activity, but what was different about it this time was that Adam knew what had been going on and had deliberately brought him in here to listen. Adam‟s behavior was so unexpected that
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Luke was shocked yet so turned on by it he was already thinking about how he could get Adam to do something like that again. “You‟d better take us home. I need to you my bed,” Adam told him. Luke didn‟t remember getting to the car or getting Adam safely buckled inside, but as he was pulling out of the car park, a stupid thought entered his head. “We didn‟t finish the game of pool.” Adam‟s deep laughter filled the interior of the car. Luke turned to him and smiled. “What do you think they‟ll do when they find out we left?” Adam smirked. “Go back into the bathroom and finish what they started.” Luke groaned, imagining Kyle on his knees in front of Jared. The scene was not a good one, not while he was trying to drive. “Concentrate on the road, Luke. I want us home in one piece.” Adam‟s admonishment was spiked with humor, but it was suddenly lost on Luke when he picked up on one word Adam had used. He‟d said home. It was a place Luke longed to be, but it was a place he was never going to have, not while he kept running, not while he couldn‟t face what he‟d done.
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Chapter Six About halfway back to Adam‟s place, Luke pulled the car over and stopped. “Wait here. I‟ll be back in a second,” he said, jumping out of the car. He raced across the road and ran into a news agency he‟d spotted. Without any real thought on choices, he grabbed several magazines off the rack, quickly paid for them, and then ran back to the car. “Here,” he said, handing the magazines to Adam as he climbed back into the driver‟s seat. “What are these for?” Adam ran his hands over them with a quizzical frown. “For the pictures,” Luke explained. “I don‟t have much of an imagination, so I thought these might be useful.” “Who said you don‟t have an imagination?” “Believe me. I know what goes on inside my head.” “So do I, and I‟ve yet to find an unimaginative thought. Granted they all seem to revolve around sex and nude men, but hey, I can live with that.” Luke glanced over and caught a grin on Adam‟s face. “That‟s what I mean. Around you that‟s all I seem to think about. I need inspiration.” And some self-control. “So you‟re telling me you couldn‟t think of say, an elephant, and picture it in your head?” “An elephant?” Luke instantly thought of a big gray thing with a trunk and flapping ears and burst out laughing. “Yeah, I can think of an elephant.” “There you go,” Adam encouraged. “But that‟s what I mean. I need inspiration. I wouldn‟t have thought of that on my own, and you‟re not going to think of everything you want me to show you. There must be thousands of things.” Adam was quiet for a moment, and Luke risked a glance at him. There was a fleeting sadness on Adam‟s face, and then it was gone. “Adam?” Adam‟s fingers stroked across the glossy surface of a magazine. “There‟s only one thing I want to see,” he said, his voice whisper quiet. “Yeah, what is it?” “The faces of the children I teach.”
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Struck by how much that meant to Adam, Luke tightened his grip around the steering wheel. He‟d never thought of it before, but then he guessed most sighted people wouldn‟t. Seeing someone‟s face and identifying it was something so commonplace they would take it for granted. There were a lot of things sighted people took for granted, Luke acknowledged, himself included. He remembered back to the conversation they‟d had in the car earlier, about what it was like for Adam to be blind. Luke was now beginning to understand, and the reality of it was devastating. “Do you have a group photo of them or something?” he asked. “On the wall at school.” “Can you bring it home?” The reason why was obvious, and as Luke glanced at Adam again, he saw gratitude sparkle in his eyes. “Would you do that for me?” Luke reached over and gripped Adam‟s hand in his. “I‟ll do anything you want, Adam. You only have to ask.” “You‟ve already done so much, Luke, and I really appreciate it. Thank you.” The sincerity of Adam‟s words tore a hole in Luke‟s chest. He hadn‟t done anything. This link between them was not something he had a say in, and whatever happened because of it was not something he could take credit for. He wanted to do something for Adam that Adam would value as his, but he didn‟t know what. All he had to offer Adam was his body and three weeks of his time, which wasn‟t enough. No way was it enough. The rest of the drive was done in silence while Luke tried not to think about what would happen when he left, and wondering if he really had to. When they arrived at the building complex, Luke parked the car and immediately got out. He fished out Adam‟s cane and gave it to him without a word. He had no idea if any of Adam‟s neighbors knew Adam was gay, but he wasn‟t about to give them a reason for speculation by holding his hand. Not unless Adam wanted him to. But Adam took the cane without so much as a raised eyebrow and started toward his apartment. Luke followed Adam up the stairs and waited while he let them in. Suddenly he was nervous. It wasn‟t as if he hadn‟t followed someone home before, but with Adam he knew it was going to be different. He‟d already sampled Adam‟s body, and his craving for more made knowing this wasn‟t only going to be for just one night all the better. But it was more than that. He‟d become emotionally involved. Despite knowing it was safer not to, he liked Adam, a lot, and because of that he wanted to please him, wanted to make this time with him the best it could ever be. Only he didn‟t know if he could live up to the expectations he‟d set himself. He‟d had sex, and enough of it to know what he was doing, but could he teach Adam? Could he show him how to make the pleasure between them even better? Glancing at Adam as he hung his cane beside the front door, Luke didn‟t know.
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Hopefully their time together would give him the chance to try. Hopefully Adam wouldn‟t get tired of him before then. Hands shaking slightly, he put the magazines and the bag containing the lube and condoms on the coffee table. “I‟m just going to the bathroom,” Adam said as he breezed past. Adam didn‟t stop or offer him a smile, and it made Luke even more anxious. Luke watched the long length of Adam‟s legs taking him quickly across the room. Maybe he should go after him. No, if Adam had wanted him to, he would have asked. Nervous energy and anticipation had Luke on edge. He paced the living room, cursing when he hit his shin on the coffee table, and wondered what the hell was taking Adam so long. Not wanting to be caught just standing there, Luke wandered over to the large plate-glass doors that led out onto the balcony. He unlocked and slid them open, then stepped out onto a 180-degree view of the beautiful and mainly untouched section of the national park that was the Blue Mountains. Australia was a beautiful country. Raw, intense, wild, it evoked passion, obsession, and an eagerness to explore, to tame. Those who came here, lived here, either loved it or hated it, but they never felt indifferent. It was a harsh land, and it took just as much as it gave, but what it delivered touched you in a way no other land could. Luke was one of the men who loved it, but though he attempted to enjoy the peace and solitude the scenery aroused, worry kept him from relaxing. What if Adam had changed his mind? What if Adam asked him to leave? Luke closed his eyes and tried to imagine not being with Adam. He didn‟t think he could. He honestly didn‟t want to go; he wanted to stay with Adam. “Your turn.” Adam came up behind him and lightly rested his hands on Luke‟s shoulders. Luke hadn‟t heard him approach, and he jumped, startling them both, but with his nerves strung out the way they were right now, he was lucky he hadn‟t screamed. “You okay?” “Yeah, sorry. You just scared me.” Luke felt like an idiot, for everything. He couldn‟t stay with Adam. Adam wouldn‟t let him. Annoyed with his stupid thoughts, he was about to move away when Adam‟s arms slid around his waist and pulled him close. Luke immediately felt the hard press of Adam‟s erection against the swell of his ass, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Adam hadn‟t changed his mind. Not about that, at least. “What are you looking at?” Adam‟s low voice was soothing, calming, and Luke felt some of his frayed nerves dissipate, but wanting Adam so much kept his body on high alert, and as Adam brushed his lips against Luke‟s nape, he shivered in renewed sexual awareness. His body instantly reacted, becoming hard and tense with the need for Adam to touch him, stroke him, taste him.
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“The view. Do you want to see it?” he asked, surprised his voice didn‟t betray how much he was shaking inside. Adam‟s arms tightened around him, and his mouth landed close to his ear. “I‟d love to.” Suppressing the urge to push back into Adam‟s groin, Luke lifted his hands to cover Adam‟s and took another look at the abundance of green eucalyptus trees that stretched into the distance until they became a hazy blue, which was what gave the mountain range its name. Then he closed his eyes and imagined the same scene in his head. “Stunning.” Luke opened his eyes and looked back to see Adam facing him. The deep aqua of Adam‟s blind gaze seemed to draw Luke in, making him feel as if he was drowning in a pool of pure desire. “Yes, it is,” he replied, but he wasn‟t talking about the trees, just the way Adam made him feel. Hot, hard, and needing more, but fully aware of how short the time between them was, Luke wanted to savor every moment. He leaned back into Adam‟s chest and felt the hard thump of Adam‟s heart. It matched the rapid beat of his own, which gave him some comfort; at least Adam was as turned on as he was. Adam brushed another kiss along his neck, and Luke whimpered, and as embarrassing as it could have been, he didn‟t care. He wanted Adam and wanted Adam to know it. “Go and get cleaned up,” Adam told him, loosening his hold a little. Luke turned but didn‟t move out from the circle of Adam‟s arms. “Can I borrow the sweats I wore this morning?” he asked as he saw that Adam had gotten changed. “If you feel more comfortable. Personally I‟d prefer you naked.” Luke grinned, feeling a little better and a lot less like he was going to fall apart, then lifted up and gave Adam a kiss. “Give me a minute,” he said before pulling out of Adam‟s warm embrace. He rushed to Adam‟s room and found the clothes he‟d worn that morning folded neatly at the end of the bed. He stripped completely, then mindful of what Adam said, he just pulled on the sweats, leaving his chest bare. This was it, he thought. Finally he was going to have Adam in him. He walked back into the living room where Adam was sitting on the lounge, waiting. Adam was sucking on his lower lip and raking fingers through already tousled hair. He looked adorable and distinctly panicked, but Luke knew that as soon as they touched, as soon as Adam had his hands on him, Adam would instantly be in control, and it was that control Luke was drawn to. Adam had an ability to dominate those things around him that mattered most, and though Luke wouldn‟t be dominated, he knew he could be easily swayed to bow to Adam‟s strength. As he watched, Adam turned his face toward him. The slow smile was enough to have Luke‟s stomach in knots, and his cock leaking precum, and when Adam lifted a hand and crooked a finger, Luke instantly obeyed.
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He padded up to Adam, put his hands on his shoulders, and leaned in and kissed him. Adam stroked up Luke‟s chest, the warm flex of his fingers already enough to have Luke moaning and wanting more. He felt Adam smile beneath his lips before strong arms slid around his back and gently pulled him down. Straddling his lap, his thighs spread, his knees pressed into the lounge on either side of Adam‟s hips, Luke was slightly higher, and he took the opportunity to push Adam back against the cushions and urge his face up. Luke wanted this kiss, wanted to own it before he gave himself over to Adam‟s control. Opening Adam‟s mouth with his tongue, Luke pushed in. Adam welcomed him, meeting Luke‟s urgent thrusts with lunges of his own. Luke groaned and pressed closer, feeling the hard length of Adam‟s cock between his thighs. He broke away from the kiss, panting in both need and the urge to fill his lungs. “I want you,” he growled, and moved in to kiss Adam again, but this time he aimed for Adam‟s exposed throat, trailing little bites and nibbles down the silken path of skin. Adam turned his head sideways, allowing Luke to kiss and suck on the pulse that beat erratically at his neck. “I want you, too.” Adam‟s words were followed by his hands sliding down the length of Luke‟s back and slipping beneath the fabric of the sweats he wore. Firm fingers kneaded his flesh, pulling his ass cheeks slightly apart. Luke sucked in a tight breath and moaned. “You know, they were right—you do have a great ass.” Without warning, Adam flipped him over so he landed on his back with Adam on top. Adam hovered above him and then slowly lowered himself between the cradle of Luke‟s open thighs. “I love that you‟re hard for me,” Adam said, shifting slightly so he could lave the tender spot beneath Luke‟s ear. Luke pushed up with his hips. His cock, still trapped in the sweats sought the solid length that nestled between Adam‟s thighs. “What‟s that, then, or do you normally go around stuffing bits of wood down your pants?” he asked. Adam chuckled. “No, it‟s me. And I love that you turn me on so much.” “It goes both ways, Adam. I only have to look at you and you turn me on.” “And I just need to hear the sound of your voice. It makes me hard, Luke, listening to you talk.” “Yeah?” Luke grinned. “What if I talk dirty? What will it do to you then?” “Probably make me come in my pants.” Luke would have loved to find out, but not right now. He turned his head as Adam grazed sharp teeth down his neck, then hissed in pain as he felt the sting of a bite. “Are you marking me?” he asked in astonishment. Branded by Adam. The thought had his balls pulling up tight, and Luke almost asked him to, then realized, once again, how stupid he was being. “You‟re already mine, Luke. I don‟t need to mark you, at least not where anyone can see.”
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Adam‟s? He was Adam‟s? Dumbfounded by the comment, Luke wanted to ask Adam to clarify what he meant, but he was too afraid to open himself up to ridicule. Adam couldn‟t have meant what he‟d said, and Luke knew he had to stop looking for something he wasn‟t going to get. “What‟s wrong, Luke? You‟ve gone all tense.” No longer surprised by Adam‟s perception, Luke knew he had to be more careful. It wouldn‟t do for Adam to find out that he was beginning to like him; that would be too humiliating by far. “I‟m fine,” he lied, linking his arms around Adam‟s neck to try to at least show he could be Adam‟s equal in this. This was just sex, and he had to stop hoping it could by anything more. Once again, Adam‟s aqua gaze seemed to search his soul, but as if finding nothing amiss, Adam smiled. “You‟re a terrible liar, Luke, but because you‟re still hard and I can feel you trembling beneath me, I‟m going to assume you still want to do this.” “Of course I do!” Oh, God, he didn‟t want to stop this, not now. Not now. “Then show me.” Luke needed to get himself and this thing with Adam back into perspective, and he knew exactly how to do that. He slid his hands into Adam‟s hair and pulled him down for a kiss, then deliberately thought of the position in which he wanted Adam to fuck him. Adam groaned and pulled back. “Now, here?” Luke nodded, because this was exactly how he wanted Adam to take him, hard and fast between his thighs. “Yes,” he managed to answer, searching Adam‟s face to see if the other man was willing to give him what he so desperately craved. The smile that lifted Adam‟s mouth was all the answer Luke needed. “You know you‟re going to have to help me, don‟t you?” Adam said, grinning now. Luke was about to deny that Adam needed any help, but the thought of guiding Adam‟s lube-slicked cock as Adam pushed deep into his hole had a spike of arousal flooding his body. “Yeah, like that,” Adam moaned. Luke grinned, seriously beginning to love this link they shared, and just to make sure Adam really knew how much Luke still wanted to do this, he thought of several more positions he wanted them to try. Adam laughed, though it was a little shaky, and Luke instantly knew how seriously turned on Adam was. “I‟m hoping that‟s not going to be all in one night. You‟ll kill me. And what about my turn?” “Your turn?” For a split second Luke didn‟t know what Adam meant, and then it clicked. “You want to bottom?” No way! There was no way Adam would let him do that. But searching Adam‟s face and seeing the quiet certainty, he realized Adam would. He bit back a hard groan and tried desperately not to think of fucking Adam, but he‟d already imagined it so often, Adam would have to know he wanted to.
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“Of course. I want to do everything with you.” Then Adam frowned, and once again, Luke realized Adam‟s perception was far stronger than his ability to hide things. “What‟s wrong, Luke?” Adam stroked warm fingers along his face. “I know you want to; you‟ve sent enough images for me not to have got the wrong impression.” Adam‟s words confirmed exactly what Luke had been trying to conceal. Oh, shit, he couldn‟t do this. He lay still, ignoring the hard press of Adam‟s groin on his and wishing he could explain, but he was simply too afraid. “Luke, please, tell me.” Luke shook his head, but Adam pressed fingers into his jaw, holding him in place. “Don‟t keep trying to hide things from me, Luke. I‟m not going to judge or criticize.” Adam‟s frowned deepened, and Luke felt like an idiot again. He knew Adam wouldn‟t judge, not about this, but it was embarrassing. “Tell me.” That hard determination flashed deep within Adam‟s eyes, and Luke finally gave in to the strength Adam possessed, pretty much as Luke knew he would. “I‟ve never fucked anyone,” he confessed, closing his eyes so he wouldn‟t see the disillusion in Adam‟s.
*** “You‟ve never…” A little stunned, Adam wasn‟t quite sure what to think, what to say. “But you‟ve shown me so many times.” “I know, but just because I‟ve thought about it doesn‟t mean I‟ve done it.” Luke sounded positively mortified, and it triggered a protective instinct within Adam. “It‟s okay. We all have to start sometime. That‟s what I‟m doing.” He stroked down Luke‟s face again and felt the slight tremble of Luke‟s lower lip. Annoyed with himself for pushing Luke into confessing something he obviously hadn‟t wanted known, he bent and kissed him softly before pulling back a little and putting some of his weight back onto his arm. Most of his weight was on Luke, pressing him into the lounge so he could feel every nuance of Luke‟s body, could tell when he was relaxed and when he tensed up. Like earlier. He knew he shouldn‟t have told Luke he was his, but it had just slipped out. But that was how he felt. Luke was his, and as far as he was concerned, would always be his despite whatever happened in the next few weeks. If Luke wanted to leave, Adam knew he couldn‟t stop him, but he was still hoping he could persuade Luke to stay. He just hadn‟t figured out how yet. “I‟m sorry, I should have told you.” Luke still sounded upset, and Adam wanted to reassure him it didn‟t matter. “Don‟t be sorry, I should have asked and not just assumed.” He bent his head and found Luke‟s mouth again. He kissed him gently, only sliding his tongue inside when Luke opened up for him. He kept the kiss simple, slowly allowing Luke to
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relax before lifting his head. “But you do want to, right?” he asked, suddenly anxious that Luke might say no. “You‟ll let me fuck you?” Luke‟s direct question had Adam smiling. “I‟m not going to let you do anything. I want you to make love to me, Luke. I want us to do things together.” Adam deliberately used the words make love, hoping Luke might get the hint, hoping somehow that Luke would begin to understand how Adam was starting to feel about him. “Well?” he prompted. “Do you?” Luke nodded, and Adam guessed he smiled, even if it was only a little. “Yeah, I want to. I want to do everything with you too.” Adam smiled back, secretly pleased. “Good.” Now he‟d get to do something with Luke that Luke hadn‟t done with anyone else before. He bent his head again, groaning in satisfaction as Luke lifted to eagerly accept his kiss. Luke‟s arms went around him, holding him tight, and Adam deepened the kiss before breaking it to continue what he‟d started earlier—an exploration down the length of Luke‟s body. He knew he shouldn‟t waste the opportunity of sampling Luke‟s chest, but right now he desperately wanted something else. He wanted to suck on Luke‟s cock. Just a few licks and pulls, and then he‟d come back up and start over. Or maybe not. He quickly shifted position, putting himself between Luke‟s parted legs. Luke started trembling again, but this time, Adam knew it was because of the need slowly building in him, in both of them. Slipping his fingers beneath the loose waistband of Luke‟s sweatpants, he slowly pulled them down, allowing his fingers to graze across Luke‟s heated skin. Because the sweats were too big on Luke, they came off easily, and once again, Adam had Luke naked in his arms. The sudden power Adam felt pulsing through his body was both heady and frightening. He literally had Luke ready and waiting beneath him, ready for Adam to pleasure him, waiting for Adam to touch him. It was a beautiful feeling, but Adam was all too conscious he wasn‟t the only one who was in control here. And that was why it was frightening, because he needed Luke. Without Luke, Adam knew he had nothing. A little awed by the intensity of how much Luke already meant to him, Adam tried to concentrate instead on what he had, not on what he may not get. He closed his eyes and bowed his head, then ran his hands back up Luke‟s legs, pushing them wide open. Luke‟s rich aroma reached him, and Adam instinctively bent to breathe in his scent. He moaned appreciatively and settled himself, one hand on Luke‟s hip, the other offering a light caress on Luke‟s balls. “Keep your eyes open, Luke. I want you to show me what I‟m doing,” he instructed; then, unable to wait any longer, Adam grasped the beautiful length of Luke‟s cock and began lowering his mouth to the soft, plump crown. He stopped mere millimeters away, then pushed out his tongue to catch the drop of clear precum he knew would be suspended there like a crystal jewel. It seeped onto his tongue, and he moaned at the sweet, sensual taste and at the image Luke had sent him of the pleasure on his face. His tongue swept out again, and he licked the soft,
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spongy head, the caress as soft as a butterfly‟s wing but potent enough that Luke let out an explosive gasp. “More.” Luke‟s plea set Adam grinning just before he lowered his head further and brought the swollen tip into his mouth. Luke groaned and arched his back, pushing up his hips in an attempt to plunge deeper. Adam complied, and in one swift move opened his throat and swallowed Luke‟s cock whole. “Oh, fuck, Adam, fuck!” Lips tight, his tongue swirling in teasing strokes, Adam sucked back up, Luke writhing beneath him. The feel, the taste, the smell of Luke was like ambrosia to his senses; he wanted more, and he wanted it all. Adam moaned, knowing the vibrations would shoot shards of pleasure to Luke‟s balls. He sank back down and felt the light tickle of Luke‟s pubic hair against his nose and lips; then he inhaled deeply. Luke‟s scent clouded his mind and wrapped him in a blanket of sexual need. He sucked back up, keeping the flat of his tongue against the thick vein that pulsed with every hard beat of Luke‟s heart. Image after image flooded his mind. He was being given a shot-by-shot illustration of what Luke saw, and despite the mental pictures being sometimes peppered with other images of what Luke wanted Adam to do to him, he was able to understand what it was that made such an act erotic to watch. He loved doing this to Luke, and if Luke‟s visions were accurate, it showed on his face. He smiled, and the next image Luke sent him was of himself smiling around a mouthful of cock. He pulled off and laughed, much to Luke‟s chagrin and disappointment if the sound he made was anything to go by. “Don‟t worry. There‟s more,” Adam promised. He quickly moved back up Luke‟s body, kissing the man on the mouth in a need that was just as deep as wanting to be in him. Luke moaned under the assault, then ran his hands over Adam‟s back. “Off. Get your clothes off,” Luke panted, pushing his hands under the loose sweats Adam wore. Adam groaned and pushed back into Luke‟s questing palms. Luke responded by pulling his ass cheeks apart, and Adam nearly came undone. “My God, Luke.” He pulled away, but only because he needed to get out of his clothes, and fast. Luke helped him, pushing down his sweats as Adam stripped out of his T-shirt. Adam didn‟t have a clue about what he was supposed to do next, but as he settled back between Luke‟s thighs, what was to come next didn‟t matter. As their cocks met they both froze, both moaned, both gasped in an agony of delight. “Oh, God, I want you in me!” Luke cried, his hips surging upward in both an entreaty and a demand. Adam reached down to cup Luke‟s ass, his fingers digging deep as he ground against the hot, full length of Luke‟s cock. His arousal spiked, and he fought hard to stop from coming as Luke continued to undulate his hips in a frenzied attempt to fuse their bodies together. “Adam. Adam? Are you here?”
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Shock hit Adam like a glacial blow. He froze, stunned at the sound of his brother‟s voice. What the hell? Luke stiffened beneath him, the fingers in his back digging deep. “Adam?” “Michael!” Adam started to pull away from Luke‟s arms, then stopped, protectively wrapping himself around Luke and holding him close. “Don‟t move. Stay where you are!” he shouted, appalled. He‟d forgotten. He‟d completely forgotten. “Where are you?” “Stay where you are,” Adam said again, closing his eyes in anguish. He‟d forgotten Michael was coming round this afternoon. In Luke‟s arms he‟d forgotten everything except the pleasure being there brought him. “What are you doing lying down on the lounge?” Michael‟s voice sounded closer. “Michael, please, just, wait.” He brought his mouth to Luke‟s ear, letting out a low moan of regret. “I‟m sorry,” he whispered. “I completely forgot he was coming.” Luke‟s arms tightened around him. “It‟s okay. Don‟t worry about it,” Luke whispered back. “No, it‟s not okay. I‟m so sorry.” Adam was horrified. This was so humiliating. “Adam? Are you all right?” “I‟m fine. I‟m…” He groaned in frustration and embarrassment. “I‟m with someone,” he said, hoping Michael would cotton on and get out of here. “You‟re with—Oh. Oh, God, I‟m so sorry.” His voice retreated, and Adam sighed in relief. “No, wait.” Luke‟s voice rang out into the room, startling Adam. “Don‟t go. Just give us a second, okay?” Luke squirmed a little, trying to get free. “What the hell are you doing?” Adam asked, shocked. “Michael doesn‟t have to leave.” Luke shifted beneath him again, but Adam held him still. “He damn well is leaving.” Adam shook his head, confused. “No, Adam.” “Why not?” Now Adam was more than confused; he was outraged. “He‟s your brother.” “So?” Luke gave a short laugh. Adam could feel it in the whole length of his body. “He‟s family, Adam. You don‟t dismiss your family.” “I‟m not dismissing him. He‟s going of his own free will.” Luke‟s silence was painful, and the position Adam was in wasn‟t helping him work out what was going on in Luke‟s mind. “What about us?” he asked, trying a different tact. “We can wait.”
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“No, we can‟t,” Adam complained, knowing he was sounding like a spoiled child and not caring. “Adam,” Luke said patiently. “As much as I want you, I don‟t want to take this time away from your brother. He‟s important to you.” So are you! The words screamed in his mind, but Adam kept his mouth shut. Luke had no idea, and Adam wasn‟t ready to tell him, not like this, not right now. “Come on. It‟s not like we‟re going to be able to continue. The mood has kind of gone.” Luke‟s quiet words were the final blow. Adam nodded. He didn‟t like this, but Luke was right. Both his and Luke‟s hard-ons had disappeared, and though Adam knew it wouldn‟t take long to rekindle the spark, it wouldn‟t be the same. “You sure?” he asked, both disappointed and exasperated. Not because of Michael‟s intrusion, but because Luke was too generous for his own good. Luke kissed his neck and gave him a tiny hug. “Of course, but can you ask Michael if he‟ll give us some space to, um, you know, get dressed?” “I‟ll go to my room,” Michael suddenly piped up, his steps now heading toward them. Adam groaned. Though they‟d kept their voices low, Adam guessed Michael had heard some of what they‟d said, and he worried about the repercussions. Michael was not going to let him live this down. He dropped his head into Luke‟s shoulder as Michael came closer, not sure if his humiliation could get any worse as he realized his bare ass was exposed. At least he covered Luke. He held his breath as he heard Michael pass them by, hoping like hell his brother would at least give them the courtesy of not looking at them. But he should have known better. “Fuck.” “Michael!” “Sorry, sorry.” But Michael didn‟t sound sorry. He sounded as if he was just about to start laughing. When the door of Michael‟s room closed, Adam groaned again. “I am so sorry,” he said. “Adam, I‟m fine, really.” Luke‟s hands came up to brush over Adam‟s face, the soft touch both sensual and reassuring. “We can continue this another time.” Another time. It was going to be embarrassing enough to face his brother after this, but next time he and Luke were together, both of them were going to have this interruption on their minds. Luke laughed lightly and hugged him again. “Don‟t worry. Next time you have me naked, we‟re not stopping even if a whole troop of people walk through here.” Was he that easy to read, or had Luke just been thinking the same thing? Either way, he felt relieved. “Okay, but I‟m not happy.” “I can tell. You should see your face.” “It‟s not funny.”
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“I know.” Luke kissed him, his mouth soft but with an edge to it that told Adam Luke was just as upset over this as he was. “Come on. Let‟s get dressed before Michael decides to come out and catch us again.” Adam nodded and tried not to scowl. It wasn‟t Luke‟s fault his brother had lousy timing, and it wasn‟t Michael‟s fault Adam had forgotten he was coming. He carefully pulled out of Luke‟s arms and eased up off the lounge. He helped Luke up and then found their clothes. The whole time he felt like apologizing again, but there was no point. It was Luke‟s decision to postpone this. Luke touched him lightly on the arm. “I‟ll just get my stuff, and then I‟ll go.” “You‟re going? Don‟t you want to stay?” Stupidly, Adam felt like he was being abandoned, and he put his hand over Luke‟s. “No, it‟s okay. You spend time with your brother.” “Don‟t you want to at least meet him?” That was a ridiculous question to ask. Luke wouldn‟t want to meet Michael, not after this. “Maybe another time.” Luke‟s allowance released some of the tension in Adam‟s shoulders, but it wasn‟t enough. Luke squeezed his arm and then let go. “Back in a minute,” he said before slowly moving away. Adam sat on the lounge, cursing both Michael‟s untimely appearance and his own lack of strength to insist Luke stay with him. But he didn‟t have that right or enough influence over Luke. Luke was his own man, had his own set of rules and ideas, and Adam had to admire that even if he didn‟t agree with them. He stood up as he heard Luke reenter the living room. “Give me your number so I can call you,” he said. He wasn‟t going to take the risk of losing contact with Luke, not now. “I don‟t suppose you have a pen and any paper handy?” “Don‟t need to. I‟ll remember it.” Luke rattled off a number, then added, “I put the stuff we bought in the top drawer of your bedside cabinet.” “Oh.” Adam had forgotten all about it. “Thanks.” “So, when do you want me to come back?” “I don‟t want you to go, but Michael usually stays the whole weekend.” “Oh, well, I‟ll see you on Monday, then.” Now Luke sounded disappointed, and that made Adam feel both pleased and sad. “Luke…” On the verge of apologizing, again, Adam just pulled Luke into his arms and kissed him. Luke pressed in closer and kissed him back, hard. “I really wish you wouldn‟t go,” Adam murmured against Luke‟s mouth. Luke just smiled. “I‟ll see you on Monday. Have fun.” “Without you?” “I‟m sure you‟ll manage.” Luke gave him another brief kiss, then untangled himself from Adam‟s arms.
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Adam let him go and hated every footstep Luke took toward the front door. God, this wasn‟t right. It also wasn‟t fair. “Monday,” Luke said before closing the door behind him. Adam sighed, then sat back down and waited. He didn‟t have long. “Is it safe to come out now?” Adam nodded as Michael walked into the room. “How long have you known him? What‟s his name? Why didn‟t you tell me?” Michael asked as he sat down. His laughter was gone, and now only curiosity laced his tone. Adam grimaced. He was going to have to answer a million questions, and none of them were going to be easy. “I didn‟t have time to tell you. I‟ve only known him six days, and his name is Luke.” “How did you meet him? ‟Cause I know damn well you didn‟t go to a bar. Or did you? Oh, please tell me you plucked up enough courage to go and pick up a man.” Michael sounded eagerly vulgar, and Adam shook his head in reproach. “No, I did not pick him up.” Well, not in the way his brother meant, Adam thought as he recalled the morning‟s activities where he‟d hauled Luke‟s light frame onto the kitchen bench and… “So how did you meet? At school? Is he another teacher? Isn‟t that unethical?” “Will you shut up? No, I didn‟t meet him at school.” Adam wasn‟t sure how Michael was going to take this, but there was no getting away from it. “He‟s on community service. He‟s helping me with the schoolwork. And yes, it probably is unethical.” Christ, he hadn‟t even thought about that. But Luke was a grown man, so did it really matter? “What did he do?” Adam worried his lip. Michael wasn‟t going to like this any better. “I don‟t know. He won‟t tell me.” Not particularly happy about having to divulge that bit of information, Adam inwardly cursed, and Michael‟s silence didn‟t help. “I like him,” Adam said, steel in his voice. Michael may be his brother, but he wasn‟t his keeper. Anger twisted his stomach. Already upset with Luke leaving, he didn‟t want to have this conversation with Michael, not if there was any way Michael wouldn‟t approve of Luke. “Hey, calm down. If you like him, that‟s enough for me, okay? I just don‟t want you getting hurt.” The small touch on his hand settled Adam‟s anger. Michael‟s concern was only to be expected. “Sorry, but it‟s not been easy.” “New relationships never are.” Relationship. God, if Michael found out he and Luke weren‟t even having a relationship, just sex… The repercussions didn‟t bear thinking about.
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“Do you want me to find out what Luke‟s done?” Michael‟s question wasn‟t too surprising; he had the resources and the knowhow, and Adam understood why he‟d asked. “No. He‟ll tell me when he‟s ready.” “And if he won‟t?” Ever the pragmatic, Michael wouldn‟t let this go. “He will. I think he‟s trying to hide it because he‟s afraid I‟ll judge him. He doesn‟t know me yet, but he‟s opening up to me slowly, and eventually he‟ll trust me.” Adam hoped, with all his heart he hoped. “Okay, if you say so.” “Yeah, I do.” Adam was not going to back down on this either. He knew whatever Luke was afraid of confessing couldn‟t be that bad. He just had to give Luke some time to be comfortable enough with him to admit what he‟d done. Today‟s setback wasn‟t going to help, though, and he just hoped that whatever damage had been done today could be reversed. “So, how did you, you know, hook up?” Now the amusement was back. Feeling awkward, Adam hesitated. How did you explain to your straight brother what attracted you to a man? “Luke figured out I was gay.” “Yeah, how?” “Not telling you.” “Spoilsport.” Adam smiled; it was just like his brother to want to know every intimate detail. “You kind of look good together, though.” “Michael!” Adam threw a punch to Michael‟s body and connected. Michael laughed and moved out of his reach. “You could have just gone, you know. You didn‟t have to hang around.” It was the most admonishment he would give. Despite the fact that Luke had ended up leaving and Adam was seriously pissed off about it, he wouldn‟t get mad at Michael. He only had himself to blame. “Sorry, but I was kind of shocked. It wasn‟t something I ever figured I‟d walk in on. Not that I didn‟t think you‟d eventually meet someone, but I assumed I was going to have to do the matchmaking.” “So you didn‟t think I could find someone on my own?” “Hey, it‟s not that. It‟s just you‟re not the kind of man to go looking, you know?” “Yeah, I know.” “I mean, how many times have you refused to let me take you to somewhere to meet a guy?” “I don‟t know. How many times have you asked me?” “Exactly. But I‟m glad for you. You know that, right?”
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Adam nodded. He knew Michael would be happy for him, if this worked out with Luke. Michael wouldn‟t be so happy if he found out he and Luke had just agreed to have sex. It wasn‟t as if Michael was a prude, far from it; it was just that, like most people, he thought Adam was the relationship type of person and not the one-night stand kind of guy. The problem was, he was right. Michael was quiet for a moment, and Adam waited for the next round of questions. “Why didn‟t he stay?” It was a simple question, but there were undertones Adam couldn‟t fail to miss. What Michael was really asking was why Luke didn‟t want to meet him. “Are you kidding? After that kind of humiliation, I can barely face you; Luke couldn‟t wait to get out of here.” “He was nice about it, though. If it had been me, I‟d have told whoever to fuck off.” “Luke is nice, and he didn‟t tell you to get lost because you‟re my brother.” Adam still wondered about that. Why did Luke think family was so important? Was it because he‟d lost his? “Don‟t care. You walk in on me with a girl, I‟ll be telling you to go take a flying leap.” Adam smirked. “At least I wouldn‟t be able to see you.” “No, but you‟re got good ears. God, it doesn‟t bear thinking about.” “Now you know how I feel.” “Yeah. Sorry.” Now Michael sounded apologetic. Better late than never. “Hey, what are these for?” Adam shook his head at the sudden change of subject. “Give me a hint.” “Magazines.” Adam had forgotten all about them. Luke must have left them on the coffee table. He turned to his brother, who by the sound of it had picked up one of the magazines and was flipping through it. “Michael, give me your hand,” Adam said holding out his. After a second‟s pause, Michael put his hand in his. “Now, try and send me an image,” he asked. “Try? Adam, we haven‟t been able to do this in years.” “I know, but try. Please.” He felt Michael shift in his seat. “Getting anything?” he asked. “No.” He released Michael‟s hand and sat back. “Adam?” “Luke can do it. He can send me images.” He turned to face his brother in both trepidation and enthusiasm. “Michael, I can see through him.”
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Michael‟s shock was palpable. Then so was his joy. “Adam, oh my God, that‟s brilliant! Does he know? Of course he does! Jesus!” Michael stood up, and then Adam was suddenly pulled up onto his feet and enveloped into Michael‟s arms. “I can‟t believe it! How did you find out?” Michael held him at arm‟s length but held on, his fingers digging in tight. Adam grinned. “When he first touched me, I got all these images in my head. I was flooded with them. Michael, they‟re crystal clear.” “Not like my fuzzy ones?” Adam knew Michael wouldn‟t be offended or jealous, so he nodded. “The colors are amazing, the pictures so perfect.” He moved to point out the window that led to the balcony. “He showed me the mountains, the trees.” Adam‟s knew his enthusiasm was a little over the top, but he also knew Michael would understand. Michael hugged him again. “What does Luke think about it?” “He was a little shocked at first, but then we both were. Now he wants to show me as much as he can, hence the magazines. He was going to use the pictures in there.” “Was?” Trust Michael to pick up on that. “We got distracted,” Adam admitted, hoping the heat he felt in his cheeks wasn‟t showing. Michael‟s chuckle was devious in the extreme. “I noticed.” Adam groaned and shook his head. “It was bad enough you stayed. You didn‟t have to look.” “Couldn‟t help it. You like him, don‟t you?” “I told you I did.” “No, I mean, you really like him.” Michael sounded hopeful. Adam sighed. “Yeah.” “Why am I getting an impression there‟s a but?” Adam gritted his teeth. Why was Michael so perceptive? The problem was, they both were, and it had always been something that tied them together even when their link had ended. However, it was not something Adam appreciated now. “Adam?” “Luke‟s leaving.” The admission was painful, and Adam felt sick with the possibility of losing him. “He told you?” “Yes.” “Before or after you…did stuff?” “What has that got to do with anything?” Michael stood there, his silence condemning. Adam inwardly cringed, knowing what he was thinking. “Before,” he admitted, also knowing that Michael would get the answer out of him one way or the other.
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“Then why did you?” The question was expected. Michael knew him all too well. Adam shrugged, not sure what to say. He didn‟t want to admit how desperate he‟d been to experience a man‟s touch, a man‟s love, but he never kept anything from his brother. They were too close. “It was either that or nothing.” He turned to Michael, hoping he would understand, hoping he would accept his decision. “Oh, Adam.” Michael drew him into his arms and hugged him. “Don‟t get hurt, okay? I don‟t want to see you hurt.” “I won‟t.” The lie didn‟t come easily; he was already hurting because Luke wasn‟t here giving him the comforting hug he desperately needed. “Hey.” Michael put him at arm‟s length. “What about the link between you? I don‟t think he‟ll just walk away from that. He seems a pretty decent guy.” “He is, but I won‟t use it as leverage to force him to stay. If Luke stays, it should only be because he wants to be with me, not because of some perceived obligation.” He‟d already told Luke he didn‟t want him to feel obligated, but how would he know if that was the only thing keeping Luke here? How would he know if Luke did want to be with him and wasn‟t just staying because of their link? “Why don‟t you just tell him how you feel?” Adam shook his head. “He‟s not ready. Hell, I‟m not ready. I need to know if he feels something for me too, and I don‟t, not yet.” Michael squeezed his shoulder. “He will. After being with you for a while, he won‟t be able to help it. He‟ll change his mind about leaving, Adam. You‟ll see.” Michael sounded hopeful again, and Adam nodded in response. “Yeah, maybe.” But something was hurting Luke, something painful enough to make him run away, and Adam knew if he wanted any chance with him, he was going to have to find out what it was—but where did he start? Where did anyone start trying to find out what was hiding in a man‟s heart?
*** That night, hands shaking, Adam picked up his phone and dialed Luke‟s number from memory. He sat back on his bed while it rang and wondered if Luke would mind. Maybe he shouldn‟t have rung tonight. Maybe he should have just waited until tomorrow, but before he had a chance to rethink his actions and hang up, Luke answered. “Hello?” That one simple word was enough for Adam to know why he hadn‟t been able to wait. He‟d missed the sound of Luke‟s voice. He missed talking to him. He missed being with him. “Luke.” “Adam! Hi.” Luke‟s pleasure was a boost to Adam‟s ego, and he smiled. “Hi. I hope you don‟t mind me ringing, but I just wanted to hear your voice and say sorry.”
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“I told you, you don‟t need to be sorry. You need to spend time with your brother, Adam. Family is important.” There it was again. Not that Adam didn‟t disagree, but Luke‟s insistence seemed curious. “Do you have any family?” Until then it hadn‟t occurred to him that Luke might have anyone, as Luke hadn‟t mentioned any other than his parents. When Luke didn‟t immediately answer, Adam began to worry he‟d said something wrong. Then Luke sighed. “Yes, two sisters.” “Really, do you see them often?” “No.” Luke‟s tone was flat, and Adam quickly realized this was a touchy subject, but he thought it safe enough to ask the obvious question. “Why not?” Luke‟s subsequent silence was excruciating. Maybe he shouldn‟t have asked. Maybe he should just learn to keep his mouth shut and not keep trying to push Luke for answers, but this seemed important. This might be one of the reasons Luke was hurting. Adam waited, wishing he could touch Luke, comfort him. On the verge of breaking the silence, he heard Luke sigh again, as if coming to a decision. “I don‟t know where they are. I haven‟t seen them since I was nine years old.” “My God, they separated you?” Adam sat up, all former thoughts of why he‟d rung Luke in the first place forgotten. “Yeah.” “Have you tried to find them?” As soon as he asked the question, he knew the answer. Of course Luke would try to find them. “I‟ve been looking for the past two years, but every time I get through one load of bureaucratic crap, I hit another pile.” The despondency in Luke‟s tone wrenched at Adam‟s heart. He knew what it was like to lose his parents as Luke had, but if he‟d lost Michael as well… He didn‟t even want to think about that possibility. Michael was his lifeline to the world outside his blindness. “Is there anything I can do to help?” “I doubt it.” The rejection was quick and immediate, and Adam couldn‟t help gasping at the hurt Luke‟s words evoked. “Shit, I‟m sorry, Adam, I didn‟t mean it that way. It‟s just that it‟s frustrating. Knowing they‟re out there and not being able to find them, it‟s killing me.” “Oh, Luke. Why didn‟t you tell me about this before? Why on earth would you want to keep that bottled up?” Was this the reason Luke kept himself at an emotional distance? Could it be one of the reasons he had for leaving? To spend time searching for them? “I‟m not going to burden you with my problems, Adam. I can handle them on my own.”
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Adam tightened his grip on the phone as he heard Luke‟s anger even though Luke tried to disguise it. “It wouldn‟t be a burden, Luke. And I‟m not saying you can‟t handle it. It‟s just that even though I know I can‟t do anything to help, I can at least give you my support.” “Why?” Why? Because I’m falling in love with you and I don’t want to see you hurt. Such a simple explanation, but it wasn‟t something Luke would want to hear. “Like you said, family is important, and you deserve to find them. Look, maybe there is a way I can help. Michael is a lawyer, and he might be able to do something.” “I can‟t afford a lawyer. I‟m not working, remember?” “Don‟t worry about that. Michael‟s leaving in the morning around eight instead of Monday. Can you get here before then and bring what information you‟ve got?” “Michael‟s leaving early? Why? It‟s not because of me, is it?” “No,” Adam lied. “Something came up, and he‟s got to go back to his office.” He prayed Michael would cover for him. He hadn‟t actually asked Michael to go early, but he had hinted, and thankfully, being the brother he was, Michael had taken the hint. “So, will you come?” “You seriously want to do that for me?” There was a flicker of pleasure in Luke‟s tone now, and Adam grasped on to it. “Of course. You know I‟d do anything for you.” Expecting some sort of reaction, Adam heard only silence again. Or maybe the silence was a reaction. “Luke?” “You don‟t have to do anything, Adam. You just being there is enough.” Luke‟s words and quiet sincerity gave Adam more optimism than he‟d held so far, and his stomach flipped at the suggested implication. “So, are you going to come?” he asked again hopefully. There was only a tiny hesitation this time. “Yeah, I‟ll be there. But I‟m paying Michael back for his time.” Adam wasn‟t going to argue; he already knew how proud Luke was. “All right. We‟ll work something out.” Suddenly feeling awkward and at a loss about what to say next, Adam sat still for a moment, because despite this being a great step forward in getting Luke to open up to him, it wasn‟t the reason why he‟d called. “I‟ll see you tomorrow, then,” he finally said. “Good night, Luke.” “Adam?” “Yes?” “When you said you rang me so you could hear my voice, what were you thinking of?” “Oh, nothing, just, you know, wanted to talk.” “You wanted phone sex, didn‟t you?” Luke‟s laughter echoed down the line, the sexy timbre sending goose bumps over Adam‟s skin.
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Adam knew there was no point in denying it, and he certainly wasn‟t embarrassed about it, but he didn‟t want it to sound as if sex was the only reason he‟d called Luke. “Maybe.” “Where are you? I assume in your bedroom, with the door closed?” “Yeah.” “Are you naked?” “Yes.” The light moan on the other end of the phone was just what Adam wanted to hear. “Are you naked?” he asked. “I will be in a second.” Luke seemed to struggle with something, and he dropped the phone once with a curse. Then he was back. “Okay, I‟m naked now.” “What were you doing?” Adam asked, biting his lip to stop from laughing. “Getting undressed.” “Before that.” “Watching a movie.” “Was it interesting?” “Not as interesting as talking to you.” “So it wasn‟t gay porn?” Luke didn‟t hold back his laughter. “No, it wasn‟t gay porn, but talking to you would still be more interesting than watching that.” Adam smiled in both satisfaction and amusement. “I thought you liked the sound of men moaning.” “I do, as you very well know. So why don‟t you moan for me?” Teasing was something Adam rarely indulged in, but with Luke it came naturally. “Talk me into it,” he said, suddenly conscious of Luke‟s low breathing. “Are you comfortable?” “As much as I can be with my cock hard and pointing at my chin.” Adam wasn‟t lying. The second Luke laughed he‟d gotten hard. “Are you touching yourself?” “No.” “Touch yourself for me.” Those words were the most erotic Adam had ever heard. They evoked images that had his pulse beating erratically and his heart skipping, and the fact that Luke had dropped his voice to his most sexiest had Adam trying to catch his breath. “Start at your chest, then stroke softly over your nipples,” Luke instructed, his breath sounding labored. Adam did as he was told, imagining Luke doing the same. His nipples hardened under his touch, first one, and then the other. He played with them for a while, feeling the tingle in his balls. He remembered Luke‟s nipples were sensitive, and he could easily visualize Luke squirming as a teasing finger stroked over the
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tight nub. Adam groaned, his arousal heightened by what he knew Luke would be feeling. “Are you groaning already? We haven‟t even started yet, Adam,” Luke scolded. “I‟m going to have you screaming my name before we finish this,” he promised. “Now move lower. Go slowly. Savor how soft your skin is. Feel the beautiful ridges of your muscles.” Listening to Luke‟s tantalizing voice and obeying his instructions, Adam spread his fingers and slid them over his stomach, his skin prickling at the contact. “Go lower. Reach for your balls and cup your hand over them.” Adam gathered them into his palm and gently squeezed, drawing out a soft moan. Luke moaned with him, and Adam painted an image in his head of Luke‟s legs spread wide so Adam could touch him, caress him, lick him, fuck him. He groaned low and deep and spread his legs, reaching lower. “Adam, get some lube.” Luke‟s voice was strained, his breathing shallow. Adam didn‟t have to ask what Luke wanted him to do next. They were thinking alike despite the distance between them. He picked up the small bottle he‟d placed beside his bed earlier. Even if he hadn‟t been able to get Luke to talk to him, he‟d been going to give himself some much-needed relief and think of Luke the whole time. “What fragrance are you using?” Luke asked. Prizing open the lid Adam took a sniff. “Banana.” There was a sudden and quick snort down the phone, and Adam pulled it away from his ear. “Are you giggling?” he demanded. “No.” But Adam could hear Luke smother his mouth and try to get himself under control. While he waited, biting back a smile because listening to Luke giggle was worth any interruption, he covered his fingers in lube and put the bottle back. “Are you okay now?” he asked as Luke seemed to calm down. “Yeah, sorry, where were we?” “My fingers are coated in lube,” Adam gently reminded him. “Adam?” “Yeah?” “I wish I was with you right now.” The unexpected comment had Adam‟s heart beating hard and fast. “I wish you were here too, but I don‟t think Michael is ready to sleep under the same roof as me and my lover.” “Your lover, huh?” “Well, what else would you like me to call you?” “Lover sounds good.” Luke‟s soft tone made Adam smile, but Luke‟s easy acceptance of this developing stage of their relationship had Adam grinning.
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“Well, lover, what do you want me to do now? You‟re supposed to be talking me through this, remember?” “Spread your legs for me.” Adam didn‟t want to tell Luke they were already open and waiting in case he sounded desperate. “Okay.” “Now slide your fingers past your balls. I want you to touch the skin beneath them and rub softly while moving lower.” Adam had done this many times—what gay man hadn‟t?—but with Luke instructing him, his sexy voice vibrating in his ear, the act seemed more sensual, more daring. He opened his legs wider and bent his knees so he could reach the puckered hole he knew Luke was aiming for. He gasped slightly as the cool liquid smeared across his heated skin. Sliding down he held his breath until the tip of his finger found the tightly closed entrance to his body. Applying only a little pressure, he teased himself, fighting the tension, willing himself to relax but knowing it was no good, not when he heard Luke moan on the other end of the phone. “What are you doing?” he asked. “Imagining this is you touching me, playing with me.” “Playing how?” “Your finger is pressing against my hole. It‟s rubbing lightly, but it wants to go in.” Luke moaned again, the sound sending a hot flash of pleasure to pierce Adam‟s balls. “Do you want to push it in, Adam? Do you want your finger inside me?” Adam thought his groan would be answer enough, but Luke wanted more. “Talk to me, Adam. Tell me what you want.” “Yes, I want to be inside you, but I want you inside me too.” Luke sucked in a quick breath. “Then press in, Adam. Press in deep and imagine it‟s me in there.” Adam did as Luke asked, sliding his finger past the tight ring of muscle into the waiting heat. He moaned, letting Luke know what he was doing. Luke moaned with him, then gasped. “I‟m going in deeper,” Adam said, pushing until his finger was buried knuckledeep and then crooking it and letting the tip stroke his prostate. He groaned again, wondering what it would be like with Luke‟s cock in there angled just right so he would glide over the sensitive hub of nerves with every hard and fast thrust. “Fuck, that‟s beautiful.” Luke‟s words penetrated the fog that had started to cloud all coherent thought. “What is?” Adam managed to ask as he stroked over his prostate again. “The image in my head.” Luke‟s images were graphic in the extreme, especially when it came to sex. “Share it with me,” Adam begged while moving his finger back and forth and trying not to groan too loud.
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“You‟re on your back, and I‟m straddling you. Your cock is buried deep inside me, and I‟m riding you, but I‟m going slowly, and it‟s torturing you. You want me to go faster, so you grasp my cock and start pumping.” “And that‟s beautiful?” “It‟s the look on your face that‟s beautiful, Adam. You‟re close to coming, and you‟re biting your bottom lip, lost in the sensations, but you‟re looking at me, and you see I‟m close to coming too.” “Are you?” Adam gasped as heat built quickly in his belly. “Yes.” “Are you touching your cock, pumping it?” “Yes.” Adam quickly turned on his side, trapping the phone between his ear and his pillow. He gripped his cock with his free hand while still trying to keep a finger inside. His initial movements were uncoordinated and jerky, but it was more than enough as Luke‟s scenario played out in his head. He could almost feel Luke‟s weight pressing down on him, his tight heat surrounding him, and the feel of Luke‟s hard cock in his hand. He continued to play with his hole, sliding his finger in and out, pulling the sensations up to his balls and into his cock until he felt like he was going to burst. His hips moved in a rhythm of their own, pistoning the hard, thick length of his cock into his fist. It was so easy to imagine it was Luke he was pounding into with nothing but the mindless need to come. The harsh, gasping sound of Luke‟s breathing told Adam he was close. Then Luke whimpered. The tiny sound went straight to Adam‟s cock, and he worked his hips faster. “Adam, fuck, I‟m coming.” Adam didn‟t answer. He couldn‟t. “Now!” Luke‟s strangled groan tore through Adam‟s body. He stiffened as he felt the hard pulse of his orgasm rip into him and quickly turned his head to muffle the cry that escaped his throat. A faint groan echoed down the phone as Adam‟s breathing slowly leveled out. Rolling onto his back he found his phone and brought it back to his ear. “Luke, are you still there?” “Yeah, but barely.” “Are you okay?” “No. I‟ve just splattered the contents of my balls all over my chest and stomach.” Adam grinned as he cleaned up his own mess, thankful that he kept wet wipes in his bedside drawer just for this purpose. After a couple of curses and bangs, he heard Luke settle back onto his bed. “Okay now?”
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“Yes, but I‟m not doing that again. Next time you want to come, we have to be together in the same room.” Adam laughed at Luke‟s put-out tone. “What difference would that make? Next time we‟re together, you‟re still going to come all over yourself.” “But at least you‟ll be sharing it with me.” Adam had a quick image of Luke coming onto his body and smearing it into his skin. He moaned. “God, I‟m getting hard all over again.” “Already?” “I really wish you were here. The way I‟m feeling I could make love to you all night.” “Don‟t tempt me. The way I‟m feeling I‟d ask you to.” Adam laughed. “Now you‟re tempting me.” “Tomorrow, okay? I‟ll be there before eight.” “You promise?” Why Adam felt he needed to extract that promise, he didn‟t know, but he knew it would sustain him throughout the night if Luke gave it. “Yeah, I promise.” “Thank you.” Adam closed his eyes and settled beneath his quilt, remembering how Luke had pulled it over them both before he‟d fallen asleep. “Good night, Luke. I‟ll see you in the morning.” “Okay. Night, and Adam, thank you.” “Don‟t thank me yet. Wait until we see what Michael says.” “Still, you didn‟t have to help me.” Adam frowned, knowing that Luke really didn‟t understand. “Yes, I did.”
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Chapter Seven Luke stood outside Adam‟s door and wondered for the tenth time if he was doing the right thing. He‟d contemplated not coming, not because he didn‟t think Adam and Michael wouldn‟t want to help, but because they shouldn‟t have to. This was his problem, his to solve. He hated being in this position, but he‟d run out of ideas, out of options. He‟d come to a dead end and had nowhere to go. He stared at the door, common sense fighting with uncertainty. For so long he‟d held tight to the belief he had to do things alone because there had never been anyone to turn to, no one to trust, no one to give him support. And now Adam was offering support, offering help, but Luke was reluctant to take it. He knew why. If it was simply pride, he could swallow that, would eagerly let it take a back step if it meant finding his sisters, but it was more than that. It was Adam. He was falling for Adam, a stupid and dangerous thing to do, and Luke knew if he accepted his help, if he allowed himself to depend on him, his feelings would only become stronger. And that was where his reluctance began. While it was just sex between them, he knew he could keep his distance, keep his emotions under lock and key, but if he did this, if he became closer to Adam, it was going to be so much harder to walk away. And what about Adam? What if Adam started feeling something for him? What if Adam wanted him to stay? Fuck! Luke bit his lip and tasted blood. Why did he do this? Why did he keep torturing himself? It was a hopeless situation, and he was an idiot for thinking it could change. Luke groaned. He couldn‟t do this. He couldn‟t put Adam through this. About to turn away he heard laughter behind the closed door and was instantly reminded of the family unity he was once a part of. He closed his eyes in anguish as he remembered the day it had been torn away from him. Not the day his parents died, which was bad enough, but the day they‟d come and taken his sisters. He wanted them back. He wanted to be a part of a family, a home, and if there was any chance of finding it, it was behind that door, but his own happiness would mean nothing if Adam became hurt in the process. “Luke?” Startled, Luke opened his eyes and saw Adam standing there, a look of uncertainty on his face.
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“Yes, it‟s me,” he reluctantly admitted, not at all surprised that Adam would have known he was there, but not ready to make the commitment of walking through the door. Adam suddenly grinned. “Thought it was. Michael said I was hearing things. You‟re not wearing your boots.” Luke looked down at his running shoes. They would have been almost silent on the wooden balcony, yet Adam still heard him. He smiled despite his indecision about whether he could do this. “No.” He looked back up at Adam, who smiled at him, his eyes shining with happiness that was impossible to miss. Luke‟s heart sank. “Adam—” Before he could say any more, Adam reached for him, sliding a hand behind his neck. Luke instinctively took a step toward him as Adam‟s mouth covered his in a soft yet insistent kiss. His tongue pressed for entry, gentle but with a need Luke understood all too well. Unable to help it and with a need of his own, Luke kissed him back, but the second he stepped into Adam‟s arms, Adam pulled free. “Luke, what‟s wrong?” Shit. Luke knew he couldn‟t hide anything from Adam, but there was no way he was going tell Adam the truth. “Just a little nervous about meeting your brother,” he said, which wasn‟t entirely a lie. “Don‟t be. He wants to meet you.” Adam smiled again and bent down for another kiss. Thankful that Adam hadn‟t caught him out, Luke lifted up for him, but this time he pulled Adam to him, sliding his arms around his neck and holding him close. Adam‟s hands closed around his hips and dragged him even closer. When Adam let go this time, he was grinning. “Better?” Luke asked as he moved back out of Adam‟s arms. “Better, but still not nearly enough, but I guess it‟ll have to do for now.” “For now?” “As soon as my brother is out of here, I‟m jumping your bones,” Adam whispered conspiratorially. Luke laughed and relaxed enough to allow Adam to pull him through the door. He still didn‟t know if he could do this, but he couldn‟t just walk away now. “It‟s not cold out, is it?” Adam said as he closed the door behind them. Luke glanced toward the man sitting on the lounge, then brought his attention back to Adam. “No, why?” “You‟re wearing a long-sleeved shirt.” Adam‟s hand slid down his arm, then back up to his shoulder and over the collar covering his neck. “You‟re not worried about your scar, are you? Michael won‟t say anything.”
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Luke dipped his head. Michael was within hearing distance and probably would say something now. “No, I‟m not worried about the scar.” He‟d worn the longsleeved shirt for a totally different reason—something else he was hiding from Adam. “Good. Did you bring everything?” Luke didn‟t answer, but taking Adam‟s arm he followed him into the lounge room, where Michael had stood up and was waiting. He hadn‟t taken a look at him when Michael had caught him and Adam together yesterday, so he was interested now in what he was like. Physically he was a little taller than Adam, and his hair was darker, but there was no mistaking they were brothers. Their features were similar, and so was their body shape. The main difference however was Michael‟s eyes. They were a deep cerulean blue, and they were sharp and piercing as they stared at him. Luke suddenly felt ill at ease under his scrutiny until Michael smiled and held out his hand. “Hi, I‟m Michael.” Luke shook his hand, the other man‟s grip firm, but not crushing. “Luke.” “Adam‟s told me a lot about you.” Luke glanced at Adam, who had plonked down on the edge of the lounge. Adam was listening intently, no doubt picking up inflections in their tone. Luke worried his lip and took in a deep breath, knowing he was going to have to be doubly careful about showing his feelings around these two. “Only nice things I hope,” he said, returning his gaze back to Michael, who was looking at him with an intensity that was unnerving yet reassured him that Michael was only looking out for Adam‟s best interests. He supposed Adam had told his brother about their arrangement, and he wondered what Michael thought of it. Whatever it was, he was keeping it to himself, which made Luke even more nervous. He didn‟t need Michael‟s approval to be with Adam, but he didn‟t want Michael to openly dislike him, either. If he wanted to do this, if he wanted to find his sisters, he was going to have to trust Michael. In return he needed Michael to at least want to help him. He sat down next to Adam and was immediately aware of the pent-up energy Adam was feeling. Some of it, Luke knew, was sexual need thrumming through Adam‟s body like a hot wire, but a lot could be attributed to Adam‟s worry about how he and Michael would get on. Without any thought, Luke reached for his hand and squeezed it, partly to calm Adam down, but mostly to take some of Adam‟s strength. If he was going to do this, he was going to need it. Adam squeezed back, and Luke slid their hands together until their fingers linked. Adam grinned at him, and it was only then that Luke became aware of Michael‟s scrutiny. Michael slowly sat down on one of the large armchairs, his gaze flicking between Luke and Adam. Luke watched the slow curve of a smile on his mouth, and
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he began to worry even more. Whatever he was thinking now was pretty obvious, and Luke wondered what Adam had said to him. “What have you got for me?” Michael asked, obviously expecting Luke to be prepared. Luke knew it was time for him to make a decision. He glanced at Adam again. Maybe it was time to let go some of the control. Maybe it was time he allowed himself to trust and to hope. But could he do that and keep Adam safe from being hurt? He could, but only if he kept his emotions in check, only if he kept his distance from Adam. Adam sat forward and brought their linked hands into his lap, and as Luke stared into his beautiful eyes, he knew there was no chance of him ever keeping his distance. “Luke?” It was Michael who spoke, forcing Luke to look at him. Michael‟s gaze was assessing, and like his brother, Luke knew he was seeing more than Luke was prepared to have exposed. He shook his head, just enough so Michael would know he wasn‟t going to do this. Michael frowned, and the color of his eyes darkened in disapproval. He looked over at Adam, then back to Luke, then tilted his head, almost as if he was asking why. Luke watched him, almost too scared to look away, and then Michael suddenly smiled and leaned back in his chair. “Adam tells me you have two sisters.” Startled, Luke glared at Michael, who glared back. Why was Michael doing this? What did he hope to prove? Michael flicked his gaze to Adam as if in warning, and Luke took the hint. He didn‟t have any choice. “Yes. Maria and Theresa.” Michael nodded in approval. “And you‟ve lost contact with them?” Luke stiffened as the memory of that day came back to haunt him. “They were taken from me,” he said, tight-lipped. “They‟re pretty.” Adam‟s comment stunned Luke for a moment until he realized he‟d imagined them as he remembered them. “Yes, they are,” Luke admitted, knowing now that he couldn‟t turn his back on trying to find them. If this was his only avenue, then he had to take it. He took one long look at Adam‟s face, then reached for his backpack, passing Michael the folder of papers he‟d accumulated over the past couple of years. “Everything I‟ve ever learned and researched is in there. Who I‟ve contacted and their responses. Which is nothing. They don‟t know who my sisters went to or where they are now.” Luke tried to keep the frustration out of his voice, but Adam must have heard something, because he tightened his fingers around Luke‟s. “How old are they?” Adam asked.
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Adam was facing him, so Luke looked at him as he answered, though he was aware of Michael flicking through the file. “They‟re both younger than me. Maria would be nearly twenty, and Theresa has just gone eighteen.” “The authorities would have no record of where they are now since they are both adults,” Michael said. Though he sounded reasonable, Luke detected a note of pessimism. Luke looked back at him. “I know, but if I knew where they had been, someone might know how I can contact them now, and Theresa would still have been in the system when I started looking.” Michael nodded in understanding. “Is the name of the foster agency in here?” “I don‟t know who took them. I don‟t remember the name of the agency that took me, either.” “The people you lived with, have you contacted them to find out?” “They moved just after I left. No one seems to know where they went.” “When was that? About four years ago, when you were eighteen?” Luke felt his cheeks heat up. Shit, he didn‟t think Michael‟s questions would be so probing. “No,” he admitted. “I left at fifteen.” Adam gasped beside him. “You left at fifteen? Why? Did they hurt you, abuse you?” Adam‟s body tensed, and his fingers tightened painfully. Luke rubbed his thumb over Adam‟s hand in reassurance. “No, nothing like that. There wasn‟t any reason.” Adam didn‟t look convinced, and Luke knew he had to offer more. “They were nice people, but I was just young and confused, and as a result I rebelled against everything—school, authority, the system. I turned my back on my mates, the family I lived with, and just left.” “How did you live?” Adam asked, obviously upset. Luke shrugged, remembering back to those times, at how miserable he‟d been and how much he‟d wasted his life. There were a lot of times when he‟d nearly given up, nearly given in to the pressures of the street, but he‟d been lucky, and eventually he‟d smartened up. “I managed.” He looked up at Adam and saw a little sadness in his eyes. Luke squeezed Adam‟s hand and hoped he was letting him know that he‟d come to terms with what he‟d done on the streets and was okay with it. Michael cleared his throat, and Luke turned his attention onto him. “So you keep running into dead ends,” Michael said getting back to Luke‟s problem. This time, Luke couldn‟t keep his frustration at bay. “I‟ve been looking for two years. I didn‟t think it would be this damn hard!” Adam leaned close to Luke so their bodies were touching. The extra contact was comforting, and Luke felt the beginnings of his anger drain out of him. “Can you do anything?” Adam asked Michael.
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Luke glanced at Michael and held his breath as he waited for his answer. Until then, Luke wasn‟t really sure if something could be done. The last two years had shown him how difficult it was to search for someone without the right resources. Not wanting to seem ungrateful, Luke hadn‟t wanted to ask how Michael‟s efforts would be any better than his own, but as if Michael knew what he was thinking, Michael grinned the same kind of grin Adam had, confident and assured. “Did Adam tell you I specialize in child adoption and custody?” Luke glanced at Adam, who smiled. “No, he didn‟t.” “I‟m not promising you anything, because the system is pretty flawed, but there should be a way around this, and I have a few contacts that can help. Okay?” Luke nodded, grateful that Michael was willing to help and not sure how to express it. Michael seemed to understand, because he smiled. “Give me your number in case I need to contact you.” Adam sat forward and rattled off Luke‟s number before he had a chance to. He looked smug about it too. Michael glanced at his brother and slowly shook his head, and Luke suddenly had a feeling that Michael knew what they‟d been up to last night. He felt his face burn again, especially when Michael tried to hide a grin. Michael stood, and Luke automatically got up with him. Adam stayed where he was. “Thank you,” Luke said, shaking Michael‟s hand once again. “Thank me when I‟ve done something.” Michael looked as if he wanted to say more, but his gaze shifted to his brother, and Luke understood he didn‟t want to say it in front of Adam. His blue gaze locked back on to Luke‟s. Once again it was assessing, but this time it looked as if he didn‟t mind what he saw. “I‟ll call you,” he said, and Luke wasn‟t sure if that was a threat or a promise. Michael just smiled, then turned to his brother, kicking him in the ankle. “Come and see me out,” he said, and with a quick nod in Luke‟s direction, Michael picked up the folder and his overnight bag. Adam gracefully got up from the lounge and followed his brother to the front door. Luke watched them for a moment, then sat back down, realizing Michael wanted to say something in private. He wasn‟t sure if that had gone down well or not, but at least Michael hadn‟t seemed to mind his and Adam‟s relationship, if you could call what they were doing a relationship. He wondered again what it was Adam had told his brother, and worried if Adam was already thinking of this as more than it was. Watching Adam hug his brother, Luke was once again reminded of how much he missed his sisters, his family. Maybe Michael could do something, maybe not, but at least he was going to try, and Luke couldn‟t be any more thankful, though he was a little surprised that Michael had pushed the issue. Thinking about it now, Luke realized Michael had obviously done it for Adam, because Adam had obviously told him he wanted it done. “He likes you,” Adam said as he walked back to Luke. “He said that?”
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“Actually, yes. And he doesn‟t say that very often.” Luke wasn‟t sure whether he should be pleased or more worried. Accepting Michael‟s help was only going to complicate things between Adam and him. He‟d known that, still knew it, but as Luke looked into Adam‟s aqua eyes, he couldn‟t help but not care. He wanted Adam, and God help him, but he wanted Adam to want him too, so badly it hurt. He stood up, afraid, confused, unsure. Adam took a step toward him, then cupped his face. “Don‟t worry, okay?” “I‟m not,” Luke defended quickly, too quickly. “Yes, you are. I have never felt so many conflicting emotions coming from you than I‟ve felt in the past few minutes. Michael‟s good. He‟ll find your sisters. I have every faith in him.” Adam smiled, his other hand coming up to cup the other side of Luke‟s face. Luke shook his head. “I‟m not worried,” he repeated. Not about that. Adam‟s mouth came down softly on his, his lips parted just slightly. “Then come to bed with me.” Luke wouldn‟t have been able to say no, not if his life depended on it. He nodded, and Adam smiled against his mouth before reaching for his hand and silently leading them to his bedroom. “Your brother is not going to come back, is he?” Luke asked, following and feeling ridiculously nervous all over again. “I dead-bolted the front door, and anyway, from now on he knows to call first.” For the next three weeks anyway, and then it won‟t matter, Luke thought, unless Adam does find another lover. The sharp pain that lanced through him wasn‟t a surprise. He didn‟t want Adam to have another lover. He wanted Adam to want only him. Fuck, he was a mess. This whole thing was a mess, but as Adam stopped in the middle of his room and started to strip, Luke knew he wouldn‟t be able to end it. Not now, not ever, not with Adam. As Adam undid his white shirt and slipped it over the back of the chair, Luke watched, struck once again by how beautiful he was. Strong muscles were highlighted by the tight T-shirt he still wore, and his jeans, though loose, still emphasized his powerful build. Hands on the buckle of his belt, Adam paused. “Are you watching me?” His voice held a light catch, and the look on his face told Luke that he liked the idea. Luke smiled, relaxing for the first time as he found himself in familiar territory. “Yes.” “Do you like what you see?” Luke stared into the aqua eyes that held steady with his. He took a step toward Adam and reached up with the tips of his fingers. He closed his eyes and traced the lines of Adam‟s face, noting how smooth his skin was, how his brow furrowed before his lips smiled, how his nostrils flared and his jaw worked as he
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swallowed. He noticed also a faint trace of a scar just below Adam‟s left ear and felt the deep hollow of a dimple in his cheek. “Yes, I like what I see,” he said, opening his eyes and putting the picture he‟d drawn in his mind back into the realm of what he saw. But his perception wasn‟t physical. What he saw was more than the set of Adam‟s face. What he saw was the man beneath—kind, generous, and considerate. It was that man Luke wanted. And somehow, through all of this, Luke thought if he got his life back in order, if he looked for a job, if he stopped trying to hide himself in his miserable existence, then just maybe that man might want him. Harboring a hope he knew he shouldn‟t but couldn‟t help, Luke brought his mouth to Adam‟s, pressing their lips together gently. “I want you, Adam,” Luke murmured against his lips, needing to express something of what he felt. Adam smiled and moved back. “I‟m yours to have.” Powered by that knowledge, Luke unbuckled Adam‟s belt and undid his jeans, slipping the material down his legs. Adam pulled free of his T-shirt, showing off muscles that moved fluently beneath his skin as he kicked off his jeans and underwear while Luke was more than content to just stand there and take in the impressive sight. Cock hard and already leaking precum, Adam raised an eyebrow. “Am I the only one getting undressed?” Luke grinned, loving the way Adam could uniquely and not so subtly remind him of what he was supposed to be doing. Nerves gone, and anticipating the pleasure he knew Adam would give him, Luke put everything else to the back of his mind and opened himself to enjoy the moment. He quickly stripped, then as naked as Adam, he stretched out on the bed and lay back as Adam joined him.
*** Adam knew the second Luke let go of an anxiety he‟d been harboring. Though Adam didn‟t know what that anxiety was, what had brought it on, or what had now released it, he was relieved. Luke stressed was not how Adam wanted him in his bed. He listened as Luke climbed onto the mattress and imagined Luke lying back, relaxed, a smile on his face. That was how Adam wanted him—ready, waiting, needing. Following Luke, Adam crawled into the middle and reached for him. He slid his hand up Luke‟s leg and pursued the line of calf, knee, and thigh. Luke opened his legs, his breathing becoming labored. “Do you want this fast or slow?” Adam asked just as an image of himself between Luke‟s thighs flashed into his mind. He grinned. At least now he knew in what position Luke wanted this, but that didn‟t help him work out the rest. Adam wasn‟t even sure he could go slow; he needed Luke so badly he was surprised he hadn‟t already jumped him. “You choose.” Luke sounded amused, and Adam wondered if he knew what he was thinking.
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Okay, he could go at Luke like a man possessed, or he could show some dignity and try to make it last. Maybe going slow was the best thing, because he could wait for Luke‟s instructions, and he‟d be more aware of the changes in Luke‟s body. All right, slow it was, though he had a feeling it was going to kill him. “We‟re going to do this slowly,” he told Luke, then laughed as he heard Luke release a low groan. “You asked me to choose.” “Yeah, but I didn‟t think you‟d choose slow.” “Let‟s see how desperate we get,” Adam allowed as he reached the warm, soft sac of Luke‟s balls. “I‟m desperate now,” Luke lamented. He groaned as Adam caressed him, and proof of how much Luke was ready for him showed in the hard length of Luke‟s cock. Adam sighed in appreciation, but he was frustrated as well. There was so much he could do, so much he had to explore, so much he wanted to discover, but he didn‟t have the patience right then. Slow, yes, everything right now, no. He stroked Luke‟s cock for a few moments, then slid his hand back down and trailed his fingers between the deep cleft of Luke‟s ass. All the while he knew Luke was watching him, could tell that he was slowly becoming more aroused with each passing second. “Tell me what you want,” he said, pressing his fingers a little deeper, teasing yet firm. “I want this; I want you in me.” Encouraged, Adam settled between Luke‟s legs, pleased when Luke opened them for him. Bending, he brought his mouth to Luke‟s hot skin, trailing light kisses across the top of his hip and back toward the inside of his thigh. Luke shifted slightly and opened his legs even more. Adam grinned and slid his hands under Luke‟s softly rounded ass, lifting his hips while coaxing the tight mounds apart. He moved lower with his mouth, taking a little time to lick the sensitive line between balls and sweetly puckered hole. As he ran his tongue in a single line, Luke seemed to realize where Adam was headed, and he stiffened, then moaned, then gasped as Adam reached his aim and swirled his tongue around and over the beautifully hot entrance to Luke‟s body. “Oh, fucking hell!” Luke shifted again, but it was to arch his back and grip the sheets within his fists. Adam pressed closer, the sensual glide of his tongue finding an opening that was tight but ripe for taking. He used the tip to flick against it over and over, giving Luke‟s body time to loosen up before he gently probed and slid inside. This time Luke‟s response was a melting of his muscles as if they were liquid. He pooled onto the bed, and Adam took advantage and pushed his legs wider, thrust deeper, and groaned as he absorbed the rich taste of Luke against his tongue. Knowing the nerve-rich entrance could yield pleasure beyond anything else, Adam concentrated his efforts and alternated between smoothing the flat of his tongue over and around
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it and using the tip to dip inside. Luke slowly began to tense, little moans being pulled from him as his hole pulsed and clenched beneath Adam‟s ministrations. “You‟re going to make me come.” Luke‟s voice was a tight whisper, and there was just as much of a plea in it as there was a warning. Adam retreated, but only because he wasn‟t ready for Luke to come yet. He kissed back along Luke‟s thigh, then onto his stomach, taking a tiny bite as Luke groaned. That groan made him so very nearly sink down onto Luke‟s cock, but if he did that, he knew he wouldn‟t be able to stop. “Pass me the lube,” he said, holding out his hand and hoping Luke wouldn‟t notice the tremors. Luke handed him a bottle without a word, but Adam was very much aware that Luke‟s hand was trembling, just like his own. “Are you ready for this?” Luke‟s body was as tight as a bowstring, and as Adam stroked along the inside of Luke‟s thigh, he tightened even more. In answer, Luke grabbed his wrist and guided his hand down between the spread cheeks of his ass. “In me,” he said, his voice almost cracking. Adam quickly slicked up his fingers and shuffled closer, finding Luke‟s hole again with the ease of a man who was sure of his movements and intentions, though he was beginning to shake inside. Almost reverently, he pressed one in, feeling Luke‟s tightness and welcoming heat. Satin on the inside, satin on the outside— Luke felt amazing, and Adam felt compelled to explore, probe, discover. “More.” Luke‟s soft whimper shot straight to Adam‟s groin, and on the next push in, he added another finger. The muscles surrounding them constricted until he moved them slowly, taking his time, stretching Luke, opening him up. Luke moaned, and Adam pressed his fingers in farther until they couldn‟t go in any more; then he twisted, curling them and searching until Luke almost shot off the bed. “Oh, Jesus! Jesus fuck!” Grinning, Adam brushed across the same spot again, and Luke tensed, his hips writhing, his back arching, a low, keening moan escaping from his throat. Adam pulled his fingers out and with a slow, torturous, almost masochistic need pushed them back in. The tight ring of muscle eased and let him. Luke twisted, then started to strain against the fingers invading him, pushing them deeper, begging silently for more. “Adam, fuck, please.” “I‟m doing it right?” Luke gasped as Adam found his prostate again. “Yes, you‟re doing it right,” he ground out, back arching once again. Adam shifted his position and pushed a knee beneath Luke‟s thigh, spreading him wider. He kept sliding his fingers in and out, marveling at the heat and the soft clench of muscle as Luke occasionally contracted around them. He knew he could do this for a lot longer, but Luke was beginning to struggle, and Adam knew he was pushing his endurance past the point of pleasure. On the next push in, he added another finger. Luke groaned. “Good?” Adam asked.
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“If you could see my face, you‟d know it was.” Adam smiled and started to stretch Luke in earnest. He was skating past his own endurance level now and wondered how he‟d lasted this long. He never thought he‟d get to do this, get to feel Luke beneath him like this, get to pleasure him in the way he‟d wanted to do since he‟d first his heard his voice and knew within his heart that Luke was the man for him. Luke groaned again and that was the end of Adam‟s resilience. “Are you stretched enough? Can you take me now?” Adam asked, not caring that there was a note of pleading in his voice. “Yes.” That one word said it all, and for a moment Adam thought he was going to lose it and prepping Luke was going to be a waste of time. “Pass me a condom.” He slipped his fingers free as Luke stretched to the bedside cabinet. “Don‟t move. I‟ll do it.” Luke sat up, and Adam held his breath as he heard the sound of a foil packet being opened. Though he was expecting it, Adam jumped when Luke‟s soft, feathery touch smoothed warm latex over and down his cock. “Okay?” Luke lay back down, and Adam felt sudden nerves twisting through his stomach. “Adam?” Adam nodded, running his hands over Luke‟s legs, wanting to touch him, needing to feel his silky skin beneath his fingers. He continued to run his hands up and over Luke‟s chest, leaning in, taking in his scent, and then taking a taste as he bent to kiss him. Luke lifted to meet his mouth, opening up for him in the same way he‟d already opened up his body. Adam groaned, shuddering as Luke slid his hands over Adam‟s hips and pulled him into position. “I want you in me, Adam, please.” Those pleading words were accompanied by a bright colorful image of himself as he was now, but he was buried deep in Luke, all the way in. Kissing a small trail down Luke‟s chest, Adam instinctively hooked his arms around Luke‟s legs and pushed them back. Heart thumping, he dug his fingers into Luke‟s thighs and pressed forward. The blunt head of his cock met resistance, and Adam hesitated, but Luke lifted his hips a little in encouragement, and taking Luke‟s cue and with as much care as he could possibly manage, he gently slid in past that first taut ring. Hot, tight, yet incredibly soft, it was almost too much. Adam groaned, not even sure if he was able to take it. Luke‟s hands, still on his hips, pulled. “You have to go deeper.” Luke‟s voice was strained, and Adam worried for a second that he was hurting him, until Luke squirmed beneath him and tilted his hips once again. Adam took another deep breath and, praying, slowly eased the rest of the way in, groaning aloud, until he was balls-deep and couldn‟t go any farther. He hung his
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head, trying to breathe, trying to control the unconscious need to thrust hard and fast. Trying to control the need to come there and then. “Are you all right? Please tell me you‟re all right,” Adam said as Luke moaned softly. Luke‟s fingers stroked along his sides and up to his shoulders, pulling him down. Adam went willingly, putting his weight on his arms. The light touch of Luke‟s lips grazed his shoulder, his neck, the kisses teasing yet filled with passion and longing. “I‟m fine. Never felt finer.” The sexy purr that oozed out of Luke‟s throat made Adam shiver. The warm touch of Luke‟s mouth moved up his neck and nibbled on his jaw. “Are you?” Luke asked him. Adam nodded but the strain on his body was telling. He hadn‟t known what to expect, hadn‟t even imagined what this would be like, but as he held still, he realized he could never have come up with anything that would even remotely compare to what he was experiencing. Stunningly beautiful tight heat surrounded him. Hard muscles and silky, sensuous skin lay beneath him. Firm hands, warm, strong, sure, and confident held him, supported him. But what made this what it was, what made this better than anything Adam could have wished for, was that it was all Luke. It was Luke who surrounded him, lay beneath him and held him. It was Luke who made his heart pound, that made his body tight, that filled him with happiness. It was Luke whom Adam needed to have. “You‟re gonna have to move, Adam.” Knowing he was going to have to didn‟t make doing it any easier. Once he experienced the slick pleasure of plunging inside Luke, Adam knew he wasn‟t going to last. He remained motionless but could only hold still for so long before the need to feel Luke‟s tight heat move over and around him became painful. With a tortured groan he pulled back with his hips and then slid slowly back inside, shuddering as Luke gripped him tighter. “Oh, yes.” Luke‟s husky whisper was all the incentive Adam needed to keep going. Confident, Adam flexed his hips again, closing his eyes against the intense pleasure as Luke moaned. The sound rippled through Adam, and he moved again, gasping aloud as he felt Luke move with him. “God, Adam. Do that again.” Luke‟s body tensed as Adam pulled back a bit; then he sighed as Adam pushed forward. “Beautiful.” Luke‟s whisper in his ear and the soft press of Luke‟s lips against his throat almost undid him, but Adam was determined to give Luke more. He moved again and within moments had quickly started a rhythm that was completely instinctive but was going take him to the edge before he was ready. Not wanting to come too soon, he slowed, but Luke made a sound of protest.
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“No, don‟t.” Luke slipped his legs free and tightened them around Adam‟s waist before he thrust up with his hips in a desperate attempt to make Adam go faster. “I need to come, and I need to come now.” Adam grinned, thankful that Luke was with him on this. Stomach muscles tightening, the weight of Luke‟s arms and legs holding him, Adam took up the rhythm and went faster, as Luke wanted, and then harder because he could do no less. Luke‟s body arched, and the low groan that tumbled from his throat told Adam he was definitely doing this right. He leaned forward, placing his hands on either side of Luke‟s head, the shift in the angle of his hips ensuring that with each thrust he now hit Luke‟s prostate. Leaning down further, taking his weight on his forearms, Adam found Luke‟s mouth and kissed him. Luke groaned and wrapped his arms further around Adam‟s back pulling him close until their bodies met. The hard press of Luke‟s chest against his sent a hot swirling need through Adam, and he thrust harder, the slick sensual glide of his cock moving through the tight channel of Luke‟s ass sending him crazy. Then Luke shifted, and Adam slid incredibly deeper. He groaned against Luke‟s neck, struggling to take in every sensation as he was hit with wave upon wave of pleasure. Luke‟s body moved in a fluid rhythm, meeting each one of Adam‟s now frantic lunges of muscle. For once his senses deserted him, and he was hardly aware of Luke‟s hard pants or the trickle of sweat that ran down his back, alert only to the pure sweet build that was now spiraling out of control. “Luke, I can‟t hold back any longer.” Luke suddenly shuddered, and the fingers digging into his back dug harder. Tight muscles clamped down on his cock, rippling in a series of hard impulses that made Adam realize Luke was coming. The reality hit him. Luke was coming with Adam buried deep inside him, and that was it for Adam. He cried out, lost in the sensations that swamped him, lost in the power that overtook him, lost, but found in Luke‟s arms. “Oh, sweet fuck!” It was Luke‟s cry but Adam‟s sentiment. He silently echoed it, burying his face into Luke‟s neck while thrusting one last time and finding himself completely. Hot semen splattered his belly where Luke‟s cock was sandwiched between them, and his own cock pulsed, heavy and hard, emptying every last particle of himself into Luke‟s receptive body. Light-headed and not quite believing what he‟d just done, Adam slumped forward and only just had the presence of mind to keep some of his weight off Luke. Luke lowered his legs and groaned again as Adam slipped partway out. Adam half crawled up Luke‟s body to get back inside, and Luke laughed. “You can‟t stay in there,” Luke said. “Yeah, I can.” Adam slid his hand down to cup Luke‟s ass and pull him a little closer, but he‟d softened too much and slipped out anyway. Luke laughed and flung his arms around Adam‟s neck while planting a kiss on his mouth. Adam smiled and
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kissed him back, small light kisses that helped bring him down, though he was happy enough to stay up there on the soaring peak Luke had sent him to. He didn‟t want to move, didn‟t want to untangle his body from Luke‟s, but practicalities had him pulling free completely and disposing of the condom before sliding back into bed and hauling Luke back into his arms. He took a moment, regaining his breath, regaining his equilibrium. “Was that all right?” he asked as Luke slipped a leg between his and settled at his side. Luke pulled back and gasped. “Adam!” “Sorry, I just… Was it all right?” “Fuck, Adam. It was beautiful. Everything I‟ve done with you is beautiful.” “Sure? You‟re not just saying that?” “Adam, you turn me inside out; you‟ve got to know that.” Warm fingers stroked down his cheek as Luke‟s breath fanned across his skin. “You‟ve given me the best pleasure I‟ve ever had. You make me want more.” “More of me?” Adam asked, delighting in the way Luke snuggled back up to him. “Yeah, more of you.” Luke‟s quiet words seeped into Adam‟s heart, and he smiled. He leaned in for a kiss, and Luke moved into it, kissing him with both passion and contentment. “Comfortable?” he asked as Luke settled back into his arms. “Uh-huh.” Adam stroked down Luke‟s back, loving the warmth of skin beneath his fingers, loving the heat where their bodies pressed together, loving the promise that was beginning to enter his heart. “Adam?” “Hmm?” “Can I ask you more about your blindness?” Surprised, Adam instinctively nodded. “Yes, of course.” Luke shifted beside him, and Adam guessed he‟d looked up at him. “Your blindness has nothing to do with your eyes, has it?” “No, my mother contracted a disease when she was pregnant.” Adam tensed a little as he thought he understood Luke‟s question. “It won‟t change, Luke. There is nothing they can do.” “Yes, I know. I did some research to find out common causes. I guessed it was something like that.” “You researched my blindness? When?” “Yesterday, after I left you. I wanted to find out more about the link we had, to see if I could find out some information on it.” “And what did you find?” Interested, Adam turned on to his side and placed a hand on Luke‟s hip.
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“Well, what we have is rare, very rare, but not unheard of. As you said, it usually happens between siblings, but not necessarily through any particular reason. Your blindness essentially makes what we have even rarer.” Luke‟s finger traced a short path down Adam‟s chest, and Adam shivered at the light touch. “We are actually pretty unique.” “You don‟t sound as if you mind,” Adam said, thrilled as he picked up a hint of pleasure in Luke‟s tone. “I don‟t. It‟s still a lot to take in, though.” Adam slowly nodded. “I know; that‟s why I was so reluctant to tell you.” Luke drew back a little. “Really? Because you thought I wouldn‟t understand?” Adam sighed, knowing he was going to have to explain further and trusting Luke not to pull him up on it. “I didn‟t want you to think I was crazy and leave.” “I wouldn‟t think you were crazy. And I didn‟t leave.” Luke leaned back into him. “I wouldn‟t leave,” he said softly. Adam‟s heart swelled as he heard the promise in those words, and he smiled. Making love to Luke had given him a new confidence, a stronger insight. He reached out to touch Luke‟s face. “Yeah, well, I didn‟t know that, and I had to tell you because I couldn‟t keep pretending nothing was happening, and I certainly couldn‟t keep receiving those images from you without you knowing. It felt like stealing. Like an invasion.” Luke was silent for a moment, and Adam patiently waited. Surely Luke had thought of that by now, had to have realized that his mind was practically an open book to Adam. “It‟s not an invasion. And you can‟t steal what I give you.” Luke‟s lips curved into a smile under Adam‟s fingers. “And anyway, it‟s fun seeing your reaction whenever I think of something decidedly wicked.” If Adam hadn‟t been expecting it, the image he got from Luke would have made him gasp. As it was, he still had to take a second to fully absorb what he was seeing. Luke had him on his back and had straddled his hips. It was obvious Luke was impaled on Adam‟s hard cock, obvious also that Luke was enjoying it. Leaning forward, Luke had his hands on Adam‟s chest, and Adam had one hand curled around Luke‟s hip and the other gripping his cock. Adam instantly recognized it from the fantasy Luke had described last night when they‟d been on the phone. It was stunningly graphic, which was nothing less than Adam would expect from Luke, but what made this different, what made it breathtaking, was that the image was moving. Luke‟s body arched and flexed, his hips moving in a smooth, fluid rhythm, giving Adam glimpses of his cock sliding in and out of a perfect ass while his hand worked Luke‟s hard shaft. “Oh my God. Luke?” “I‟ve been practicing,” Luke said, delight illuminating his voice.
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“How are you doing that?” The image didn‟t stop. In his mind Luke‟s body moved faster. It was bowed tight, and Adam knew that in Luke‟s vision he was getting ready to come. Adam‟s body reacted to the mental stimulation, and he moaned as his cock hardened. Luke chuckled at the same time he lightly gripped Adam‟s cock. Adam instinctively thrust into it and reached out to grasp Luke‟s arm. A flash of pleasure quickly burned a path through him, and Adam couldn‟t help wanting more. He thrust into Luke‟s palm again, and all the while the image Luke was sending played out in his mind. He groaned as Luke slid warm, sure fingers over the head of his cock and collected the fluid that had gathered there, slicking it down his length and stroking him, hard, fast, and with only one intent. Adam leaned into it, hurriedly grasping Luke‟s hot length and taking up the same tempo. “Oh shit!” The image in Adam‟s mind faltered, and Adam grimaced. “No, don‟t stop it, Luke. I want to see you coming.” Luke groaned, then roughly pushed Adam onto his back and climbed onto his thighs. He was now in a similar position to the one in Adam‟s mind, and as Adam continued to stroke Luke, the image came back. “Yes, like that. Just like that.” Luke‟s hand on him still pumped hard and fast, and Adam strained toward release even as he tried to concentrate on Luke and the image in his head. “Adam.” Luke‟s back bowed, and Adam felt as well as saw the strain Luke was in. “Adam, I‟m coming.” “Show me!” It was a plea, torn out of him as the sight in his mind matched the feel of Luke in his hand. Already attuned to Luke‟s body, Adam knew the second Luke was going to come, and as he felt Luke‟s cock thicken and pulse, he instinctively looked toward where he had his fingers wrapped around the beautiful length. A thick, hot stream hit his chest just as an image of Luke coming filled his vision. In his mind, Luke was staring down at him as thick, creamy fluid exploded from his cock, the look of absolute pleasure on his face. It was beautiful to watch, beautiful to be a part of, and if Luke never managed to do this again, it wouldn‟t matter; this was something he was never going to forget. With a groan, Luke half collapsed on him, and in that moment, Adam felt his balls pull up. He pushed into the hard fist surrounding him, the spike of his climax intense and fast. He cried out, the sound quickly smothered as Luke crushed his lips against his mouth. Adam grabbed the back of his head and held him, only letting go when he started finding it difficult to breathe with Luke‟s full weight now on his chest. “Fuck. Where did that come from?” Luke slid to his side, panting.
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“What did you expect with you filling my head with visions like that?” Adam replied, a little shocked at how hard he‟d come again. “Didn‟t think we had it in us. I was already wrecked after that first round,” Luke admitted. Adam grinned. “Want to try for round three?” Luke‟s laughter sparked his own. He loved hearing Luke laugh. It was so genuine and free, and it filled him with a warmth he‟d never known before, never thought he‟d get to know. Luke moved away to come back moments later. “Lie still a minute.” A cold wipe cleansed away the mess they‟d made, and a warm kiss settled Luke back into his arms. “So, you‟ve been practicing?” Adam asked as Luke rested his head on Adam‟s shoulder. “Yeah. I wanted to see if I could get any better, and when I realized I could actually visualize the images moving, I put together that sequence.” Luke‟s finger slid down Adam‟s side as if Luke was slightly nervous. “Did you like it?” “You‟re asking me that after the way I reacted? Luke, I saw you coming. That is something I am never going to forget.” Luke snuggled a little closer although he was already plastered as tight as he could get to Adam‟s side. “So you didn‟t mind me visualizing you looking at me?” Luke asked quietly. Adam had noticed that; he also remembered how Luke had described his fantasy of last night, how he‟d said that Adam was looking at him. Was that what Luke wanted? Did he want a man that could look at him when they made love, could see his smile, could stare into his eyes? “No, I don‟t mind,” he said, knowing any man would want that. Who wouldn‟t? Though Luke had said his lack of sight didn‟t matter, that had only been at the beginning when they‟d agreed to just have sex. It was a different thing altogether to have a blind person in your life, someone you would constantly have to look out for, someone who could become a burden instead of someone to love. “It must be awkward for you looking into eyes that can‟t look back,” he said softly, suddenly realizing that Luke might not actually consider him as a permanent lover because of his blindness. “No, Adam, it‟s not awkward or embarrassing, or annoying, or difficult, or anything you can come up with. You told me that my scar didn‟t define who I was, that it didn‟t make me different. Well, your blindness does define who you are. It made you who you are. I thought you were kind despite your blindness. Now I realize it‟s because of it. You see the world differently, probably a lot better than everyone else. You look into things, not at them, and you see the best of what everything and everyone has to offer.” Surprised, Adam shook his head. “No, I don‟t.”
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Luke‟s thumb rubbed along his bottom lip, and Adam thought he heard him sigh. “Yes, you do. Look at me for instance. There are times when I think you see me more clearly than anyone else.” “So you honestly don‟t mind me being blind?” he asked at last, needing to know for certain. “It‟s not the reason why you said you‟re leaving?” “Fuck, Adam! Why the fuck would you think that?” Luke pushed away from him, and Adam tried hard not to flinch. “It‟s a perfectly reasonable question,” Adam said while inwardly wondering if he was pushing Luke into an answer Luke wasn‟t ready to contemplate. “No, it‟s not. For God‟s sake, Adam, I don‟t care that you‟re blind. I thought you knew that.” “I do now,” Adam said, though he couldn‟t help wondering that if his blindness had nothing to do with Luke leaving, then what did? What was Luke running from, and why the hell wouldn‟t he tell him? “Adam, please don‟t think I‟ve ever thought your blindness as something undesirable. I haven‟t. It doesn‟t matter to me, honestly.” Luke sounded totally devastated and utterly sincere. “Okay, I believe you,” he said, pulling Luke back into his arms where, as far as Adam was concerned, he belonged, because right then Adam knew for certain he was unreservedly and completely in love with Luke. Luke said his blindness didn‟t matter, and that was the conviction Adam had been looking for. Holding tight to that knowledge, because it was one huge step in getting Luke to think of him long term, Adam leaned in to kiss him. Luke opened his mouth and met his tongue, releasing a sigh as he did so while tightening his arm around Adam‟s waist. Adam pushed Luke onto his back and deepened the kiss, taking what he wanted simply because he knew Luke was willing to give it to him. When Luke pulled back, he was breathing heavily. “Okay, I have to ask, how do you do that?” Adam smiled, more than satisfied that he could reduce Luke to harsh pants and small moans. “Do what?” “Kiss me like that. Every time we kiss, you get my mouth, dead-on.” Luke sounded both puzzled and amused. Adam grinned and shook his head. “No, I don‟t.” “Yes, you do. You never miss.” “That‟s because you turn into it,” Adam explained. “I turn…? I don‟t know what you mean.” Adam knew the simplest way to explain to Luke was to show him, so he merely leaned into Luke to kiss him again. Just as their lips brushed, Luke tilted his face the tiniest fraction, but it was enough to make sure their lips met properly. Adam drew back and smiled. “See?” “Oh my God! I do!”
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Adam laughed, starting to appreciate Luke‟s open honesty and lack of guile. “So when I never miss, it‟s only because you won‟t let me.” “Can we try that again?” “Practice?” “It makes perfect, but then when we kiss, it‟s always perfect.” Luke‟s voice was all smiles, and Adam couldn‟t help but smile with him. He drew Luke close to him, bending so Luke could lift his face and meet his mouth. “Yeah, perfect.” And it was. He just wanted it to be perfect forever.
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Chapter Eight “We‟re doing what?” Adam let Luke pull him across a car park and into what felt like a large enclosed space. The noise was muted, yet he easily picked out voices along with whirring ceiling fans, light clinking, and grunts that sounded suspiciously high off the ground. “You‟re serious, aren‟t you?” he said, reluctantly allowing himself to be dragged over to a counter, where Luke placed his hand on a hard Formica top. “Yep.” Luke was smiling. Adam was beginning to notice he did that more often than not now, and he couldn‟t help but feel some of it was because of him. “Rock climbing?” “It‟ll be fun,” Luke said. Adam had heard that before. Good job Luke had been right. “I was having fun in bed until you dragged me out of it.” “Stop complaining. You said I could take you out to try new things.” Adam relented, though he hadn‟t really been disagreeable. He loved that Luke wanted to do this with him, wanted to show him things. “You could have picked something easier. You‟ll be suggesting bike riding next, and before you say anything, no. I am not getting on a bike.” Luke‟s snigger had Adam biting his lip to stop from smiling. “I‟m offended. I would never do that to you,” Luke said, sounding as sincere as a secondhand-car salesman. “No, you‟re a masochist, and I wouldn‟t put it past you to try.” Adam shook his head. “You do still realize I‟m blind? You haven‟t forgotten that, have you?” “You don‟t need to see. I‟ll direct you.” Adam didn‟t bother asking him how. Other than the images, Luke had a reliable ability to give clear and precise instructions. “You‟ve done this before, I presume?” “Hi, Luke!” A female voice answered Adam‟s question. “Haven‟t seen you around for a while. How have you been?” “Fine, Liz, thanks.” Luke placed his hand on Adam‟s arm. “This is my friend, Adam. I‟m going to give him a lesson.” “Sure. Hi, Adam. Oh, I‟m sorry.”
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Luke nudged Adam‟s arm, and Adam realized that Liz had held out her hand to be shaken. He quickly held his out and smiled. Without his cane, which he‟d left in the car again, it wouldn‟t have occurred to Liz that he was blind. “Don‟t worry, happens a lot.” Liz tentatively shook his hand, and he could almost feel her anxiety, which he assumed was the same as his. How the hell was he supposed to climb when he couldn‟t see what he was doing? He smiled at Liz again. “I trust him,” he said and then nodded pointedly at Luke. “He‟s good.” “I‟ve no doubt.” Luke slid his hip against Adam‟s and nudged up against him. “Come on, let‟s get you harnessed up.” Once again, Adam let Luke pull him across an expanse of floor before stopping at what he assumed were some lockers. “You keep your stuff here?” he asked as Luke opened the steel door, suddenly realizing where Luke‟s upper-body strength came from. Luke obviously came here a lot. Suddenly this mad scheme of Luke‟s made sense. Luke was bringing him rock climbing because Luke was familiar here, comfortable, and he knew Adam would be safe. “Yeah. I‟m going to take it home with me today, though. Don‟t suppose I‟ll get much of a chance to come back.” Luke‟s voice had gone soft, husky, and sounded suspiciously tight. “Why?” The question was out of his mouth before Adam had a chance to stop himself, but the second he said it, he knew it was time Luke started giving him some answers. But Luke didn‟t say anything. Instead, silently, he handed Adam what felt like a lot of buckles and straps. Adam waited while Luke pulled out more equipment from his locker, and at the sound of it being slammed, he winced. So, Luke didn‟t like the question. That didn‟t help Adam any, but it didn‟t make him any less determined either. “Sorry.” Luke stood still, a thin veil of anger beginning to emanate from him. “Where are you going?” That wasn‟t the question he wanted to ask. He actually wanted to know why Luke was leaving, why Luke thought he could just walk away, but it was all he could manage without getting angry as well. “I don‟t know. I haven‟t made up my mind.” Was that reluctance? Adam took a step closer so he could touch Luke‟s hand, but Luke pulled away. The anger was still there, thicker now, and Adam began to wonder if Luke was finally starting to question his own reason for leaving. Trying to remember he had to be patient, Adam still couldn‟t help testing the waters. “You could always stay.” Luke‟s reaction was not the one Adam was expecting. The hard smack of something hitting the locker was accompanied by a sound of disgust at the back of Luke‟s throat. “What have I got that‟s worth staying here for?” The question was brutal, slamming Adam‟s heart into the ground.
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Devastated, shocked, he tried to turn away, but Luke stopped him, gripping Adam‟s arm painfully. Luke pushed him up against the steel door, a hand coming up to land on Adam‟s chest. “I‟m sorry. It‟s just…” Luke trailed off and loosened his grip on Adam‟s arm, his thumb casually stroking along Adam‟s skin. “It‟s complicated.” Love often is. The stunning thought popped into his head and wiped everything else from his mind, and in that moment of clarity, Adam realized what should have been apparent to him earlier. Luke was in love with him. The signs were there, but Adam hadn‟t picked up on them. He‟d been so caught up in trying to not coerce Luke that he‟d allowed himself to overlook the obvious. Thinking back on it, some of the things Luke had said, the things he‟d done—there was no way they could mean anything else, but Adam also realized either Luke didn‟t know it, or he was desperately trying to deny it. Either way, Luke was his, and to keep him all Adam had to do was show a little patience and give Luke some time. That was fine. Adam reckoned he had plenty of both. He bit back a sudden stupid grin and held up the contraption Luke had given him to hold. “Come on. Help me get into this.” “You still want to climb?” Luke sounded a little confused. “Why not? You‟ve got me intrigued.” “After what I just said to you?” Now Luke sounded contrite, and that was enough to appease any lingering hurt Adam felt. “You apologized.” Adam smiled, then forgetting that anyone might see them, he slid his free hand around the back of Luke‟s neck and pulled him into a kiss. He needed the kiss but knew Luke needed it more. Luke‟s tension and anger drained away as quickly as it had begun. His lips parted, his breath warm and enticing as he moved in close, an arm sliding around Adam‟s waist. For Adam, the kiss was arousing. For Luke, Adam assumed it was comforting. He tightened his hold and deepened the kiss, edging his body at an angle so his groin rubbed up along Luke‟s hip. Luke broke into a smile and slipped his other arm around Adam‟s waist and pulled him a little closer. Adam only broke free when he suddenly realized the room had gone quiet, the whirling fans above the only disturbance to the shocked silence. Embarrassed, he waited for the proverbial pin drop and heard it when something metal clattered to the ground. “Wow, that‟s not something you see every day.” Adam recognized Liz‟s voice and held back a moan. “Shit, I‟m sorry,” he whispered. Luke moved and slid his arm around Adam‟s waist again. “Don‟t worry about it. Seriously, if they get offended by seeing two people kissing, that‟s their problem.”
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The voices had started up again, and Adam relaxed. Luke‟s attitude amazed Adam. For someone who had issues to sort out, being shown up as gay in public was certainly not one of them. It really wasn‟t bothering Adam either, not with Luke. “Sure you still want to climb?” Adam just nodded. Right now he‟d do whatever Luke wanted him to, if only to prove he was worthy of Luke‟s love. His hand was gripped firmly, and he was led along the floor until Luke stopped and put the equipment he was holding down on the ground. “Okay, we‟ll harness you up, and I‟ll explain what to do.” After several minutes in which Adam thought his balls were being emasculated, Luke had him strapped in with a rope attached to a hoop at his stomach. “I didn‟t know you were into bondage,” Adam managed to get out while trying to discreetly adjust the position of his cock. “You‟d be surprised,” Luke said, amusement spiking his tone. Adam started. “You‟re not, are you?” he asked, not sure if he was appalled or interested. Luke‟s light laugh wasn‟t an answer, and Luke didn‟t give him one, which made Adam a little more than curious. Something was attached to his side, bringing Adam‟s attention back to where it was supposed to be. “Chalk bag,” Luke explained while adjusting the harness, which he‟d already adjusted and checked about ten times. “You‟ll need it to help you grip.” “How high to you expect me to go?” “As high as you want. As soon as you want to stop, you can either climb back down or I can belay you down.” “You‟re holding the rope, right?” Adam asked, suddenly nervous. “Yes.” “And you‟re not going to let me fall?” God, he was sounding like a child. “No.” Luke paused, his fingers lightly brushing Adam‟s arm. “You said you trusted me.” “I do.” “Then do it.” Trust. One of the most deceptive words in the human language because it held layers that went deeper than the average person wanted to explore. Adam wanted to delve as deep as he needed to get Luke to trust him as much as Luke wanted to be trusted. This was a start, he acknowledged, but he wasn‟t sure whether he was trusting Luke with his heart or his life. Either way he was in trouble if Luke didn‟t trust him in return. Adam nodded, then allowed Luke to position him in front of a wall. Luke placed his right hand on a rough semicircle that allowed his fingers to curl inside. “Usually, climbers pick a route using colors or numbers depending on the level of difficulty they want to pursue. We‟re not going to bother doing that. I‟ll direct you
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to the closest and easiest that will help you get to the next hand or foothold. Understand?” “Yeah.” “Ready?” Adam felt his heart accelerate and his mouth go dry. His hands trembled slightly, and he was sure his legs had already started to turn to jelly, but he nodded. “Ready.” Taking a deep breath he gripped the handgrip harder and then pulled, instinctively lifting his left leg and seeking purchase. “Good. Now, with your left hand reach another couple of inches higher. Feel it?” “Yes.” His fingers found another grip, and taking another deep breath, Adam pulled while pushing with his left leg, his right foot digging in until he felt secure enough to let go with his right hand and reach higher. “Hey, you‟re a natural.” The deep pride in Luke‟s voice filled Adam‟s chest with warmth, but he laughed. “I‟m two feet off the floor.” “Still a natural.” There was a slight shift in the rope that held him secure, and he realized Luke had stepped back. Luke had faith that Adam was going to go higher. With that knowledge lodged firmly in his heart, Adam ascended to the next handhold and the next until he was crawling up an indoor rock wall with the agility of grounddwelling gorilla, but at least he was doing it. The higher he got, the hotter and harder it became. Arms aching, legs burning, back and chest soaked in sweat, Adam wondered what the hell he was doing this for. Stopping for a moment, more to get his breath than to question his wisdom at doing such a crazy stunt, he still had to wonder why. But then he heard Luke far below, encouraging him, and he knew why. Luke wanted him to do this, so Adam wanted to do it for him. He had no idea how far up he was or how much farther there was to go, but determined, he reached for the next protrusion, scrabbling for it with his left hand while his right held on tight. Suddenly, his grip slipped, and his stomach plummeted just before his left fingers managed to find some purchase. He pressed against the wall, the rough plaster grazing his cheek as he gulped some air into suddenly tight lungs. “Adam! Are you all right?” “Yeah, I‟m fine,” he said, but he wasn‟t sure if Luke believed him, because he heard him swear. “Adam, come down.” “I‟m fine,” Adam repeated, firmer this time because there was no way he was giving up. He was going to reach the top even if it killed him. He took a steadying
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breath and reached again with his left hand, trying for the elusive grip he‟d gone for earlier. He found it, and while pushing up on his toes with a physical strength he thought he was running out of, he pulled himself higher until he was able to find another grip, another leverage. “How far?” he called down. “About six more feet.” “Which way?” “Go right.” Adam stretched, and now most of his weight was on one leg, with the tips of his fingers stopping him from falling backward. He twisted his hips and found another overhang to put his dangling foot onto, and with the extra balance, he was able to stretch that little bit more. He dragged himself along the wall, beginning to feel pleased with his accomplishment. He probably looked like the worst rock climber ever, all awkward angles and showing no finesse, but as he slowly reached for the top, he realized that this was fun, if you forgot the possibility of falling. “One more, Adam, and you‟re there.” There was no mistaking the pleasure in Luke‟s tone, and Adam knew he‟d done the right thing by continuing. As he touched the top of the wall, he whooped for joy, Luke‟s laugh echoing around the room. There was a smattering of applause, and Adam couldn‟t stop the grin that crossed his face. He‟d done it! He took a few minutes to catch his breath; then when he felt he was ready, he faced the bottom. “Now, how do I get down?” “Just let go.” “What?” “Let go. I‟ll belay you down.” “Are you sure?” “It‟s the reward for getting to the top. Let go. Trust me.” Adam did, with everything he had. Overcoming the reluctance born of natural instinct, he pried his fingers away from the wall and let go. A sharp jerk accompanied the harness tightening around him, and then he was dangling midair. He was slowly lowered to the ground, and just as his feet touched a solid floor, he was surprised by strong arms and half of Luke‟s body wrapping itself around him. “You did it!” Luke said, squeezing him tight and planting a firm kiss on his mouth. Taken unawares and with his legs suddenly weak and rubbery, Adam fell backward, taking Luke with him. Luke landed on him with a thud, and half the air was knocked out of his lungs. “You did it,” Luke said again, practically lying on top of him. “I know. Now get off. I can‟t breathe.”
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“Stop complaining. You like it,” Luke announced, but he slid off and sat up, helping Adam to sit up as well. “My legs feel like jelly,” Adam protested. “You‟ll be all right in a minute.” Luke linked their hands, curving his fingers over Adam‟s. “Do you want to see what you did?” Just before Adam had started to climb, Luke had shown him a quick overview of the room they were in and the walls that were situated around three sides. He hadn‟t actually shown him the wall he was going to climb, and at the time Adam hadn‟t thought anything about it, but now… “Sure.” The image he received was of a rugged, rock-colored wall with small hand and footholds in varying colors and sizes. From Luke‟s vantage point the wall seemed to go on forever, and at the top there was Adam, strong, secure, grinning. “How high was that?” Adam asked, wondering if Luke‟s perception was a little off. “To the top, fifty feet.” “Fifty!” “No one‟s ever climbed to the top on their first try,” Luke stated. “So why did you expect me to?” “I didn‟t. But I should have.” “You could have told me,” Adam said, surprised. “Would it have made a difference?” Adam smiled. It could have been a hundred feet, and Adam would have tried it because Luke would have been watching. He shook his head. “No, wouldn‟t have made the slightest.” “See, told you it‟s fun.” It was only Luke‟s apparent happiness that pushed Adam into asking the next question. If Luke was happy here doing things like this, why did he want to leave? “Can we do it this again sometime?” he asked cautiously, listening intently for any odd inflection in Luke‟s tone. “Again?” “Yeah, like you said, it‟s fun, and now I know how you manage to have such a great body. This obviously keeps you fit.” “You think I have a great body?” Though Luke‟s tone was teasing, there was an undercurrent of tension in his voice, which Adam easily picked up on. “Yes, I think you have a great body, but you already know that. Now, are you going to answer my question? Can we come back?” Luke‟s hesitation was too long by far, but just before Adam began to feel worried, he felt Luke shrug. “If you want.” It was a concession of sorts and a triumph that Adam grabbed on to with both hands. “I want,” he said, grinning and hoping Luke would understand why.
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“Think you‟re ready to stand now?” Luke stood up and waited while Adam checked the strength of his legs. He slowly stood, glad that he didn‟t immediately fall back down. “How high did you go on your first try?” he asked as Luke started to take off the harness. Luke‟s fingers faltered before unbuckling one of the straps. “I fell off after about fifteen feet.” “You weren‟t hurt, were you?” Adam asked now, ridiculously worried over something that had probably happened years ago. “No. Just my pride.” Adam laughed. “Oh, well, that doesn‟t matter, then.” Luke shoved up against him. “Idiot,” he said. “Luke?” “Mmm?” “Can you take me home now?” “Yes, of course. Why? Is there something wrong?” Luke‟s innocent tone did absolutely nothing to stop Adam from knowing he was grinning. “You know what‟s wrong. You‟ve just sent me an image that‟s got me hard again.” Luke‟s smirk could be felt in the way he grabbed the harness and practically dragged him across the room. Adam kept up with him, just as eager to get out of there. When they reached the locker, Luke finished getting the harness off, and bundled everything inside. “You‟re leaving your stuff here?” Adam asked, realizing the importance of that one simple act and feeling ridiculously pleased about it. “Yeah, we‟ll find some time to come back.” There was caution in Luke‟s tone along with a hint of something else that Adam was positive had something to do with the future—their future. Deciding this day was getting better and better by the minute, Adam quickly swooped in for a kiss before allowing Luke to close the locker door. “Thank you,” he said and right then didn‟t care if anyone saw them kissing or if Luke actually understood what he was thanking him for. “Do you want to stop for lunch?” Luke asked as he led the way to his car. “No.” Adam was definite; he wanted Luke home now. Luke obviously knew why, and he didn‟t argue. As he helped Adam buckle in, Adam suddenly thought of something. “What color is your car?” he asked. “Blue. Why?” “Then why do you keep showing me a yellow one?” “That‟s the color of the car I want, the one I intend to buy. One day.”
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So Luke saw something purposeful to aim for. It made Adam feel even more optimistic about what lay ahead. If Luke had something to look forward to, something to believe in, then when the time was right, Adam knew he had a chance in convincing Luke to stay with him. Just telling Luke he loved him wasn‟t enough. Luke had to want to stay, for his own reasons, for his own beliefs. Luke had to come to terms about why he‟d been running away in the first place. The drive home seemed to take longer than the distance allowed. Luke was quiet as he parked the car, and he didn‟t say much as he led the way up to Adam‟s apartment. Adam hoped it was because Luke was slowly figuring out that maybe it was Adam who was worth staying here for. He desperately wanted to say something, desperately wanted to let Luke know it was going to be all right, but he dared not, not yet. He opened the door and stepped inside, Luke following closely. “I‟m going to have a shower,” he said, starting toward the bathroom. Luke grabbed his hand and stopped him. “No, don‟t. I like the way you smell right now,” Luke said, his voiced pitched low as if the confession seemed to embarrass him. Adam turned and slid his hand up Luke‟s bare arm. “Yeah? All sweaty and stinky?” “Hot and heady.” The sultry timbre of Luke‟s voice sent goose bumps over Adam‟s skin. “So you‟re fine with this?” Adam asked, grabbing Luke‟s hands and pushing them up his damp T-shirt where it still clung to his skin. “Yes.” Luke continued his own exploration, going higher to glide over Adam‟s chest. His hands were rough, testament to years of hard work, but his touch was gentle as he grazed across Adam‟s sensitized skin. He thumbed Adam‟s nipples, making them hard, making them ache. Adam groaned as his body instantly responded. He gripped Luke‟s hand and started toward his bedroom but stopped when he received an image. Grinning, he nodded. “Go and get some lube and a condom,” he said. “I‟ll be waiting.” Luke headed to the bedroom, and Adam moved to one of the large leather chairs and sat down, slipping off his shoes and socks. He‟d barely gotten settled when Luke came back. Adam patted his lap. “Up here,” he instructed, knowing this was what Luke wanted, because this was what he‟d been shown. He loved this link between them. Loved that Luke could so easily show what he wanted without having to try to explain it, without having to feel awkward about asking. Luke crawled over him and sat down, legs straddled on either side of Adam‟s hips, his erection pressing against Adam‟s stomach. Heat emanated from Luke, coming off him in waves, a sharp contrast to the cool leather at Adam‟s back. His hands were hot and heavy on Adam‟s shoulders, and as he leaned forward for a kiss, the heat and pressure intensified. Adam guided his fingers under Luke‟s T-shirt, finding silky skin covered in a light sheen of sweat. He traveled higher as Luke‟s
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mouth covered his, exploring as he was being explored. Tongue sought tongue, fingers roamed skin, bodies pressed together in need and want. Adam found Luke‟s nipples and teased. Luke arched his back, breaking contact. “Want you, in me, now,” Luke breathed. “Hard and fast,” he added as he started pulling on Adam‟s shirt, trying to get it off him. Adam‟s stomach clenched as Luke stripped him, and he moaned as Luke bent to place a light kiss in the middle of his chest, groaned as the kiss turned into a hard bite with a soothing lick to finish. Luke slipped his own T-shirt off and wriggled out of his shorts and briefs, his hard body now beautifully naked against Adam‟s, skin warm and soft, cock wet and demanding. Adam reached for it, his fingers curling around the slim shaft. He thumbed the head, slick with precum, eliciting a gasp from Luke, who lifted slightly and from the way his body twisted started to prep himself. Adam shuddered and reached behind Luke so he could feel what he was doing. Two fingers plunged inside a tight hole, scissoring and stretching. Unable to resist, Adam skidded a finger around the sensitive flesh, gathering up the excess lube, and as Luke moaned and opened himself further, Adam pushed in deep, his finger alongside Luke‟s. The heat was breathtaking, the tightness almost sublime, and while Luke worked his fingers deeper, Adam started to lose what little control he still possessed. “In you,” he moaned when Luke was stretched enough to take him. He removed his finger and snatched the condom from the table beside the chair where Luke had left it. He fumbled for a moment, then managed to get it on as Luke shifted on his knees. “In me,” Luke agreed as he grabbed Adam‟s cock and sank onto it with one long easy downward glide. Luke sighed, but Adam barely heard it as he gripped the arms of the chair and groaned, holding his body still, stalling the need to push in even deeper. “Hard and fast, Adam,” Luke said above him. “Don‟t try to last, because I‟m not going to.” Then Luke began to move, his body lifting before slamming down on Adam‟s with a force designed to make a man cry while coming. Adam flung his head back and on the next downward plunge thrust up, hard. “Oh, yes, like that.” He‟d been gentle with Luke before, careful, with some semblance of control. Now, he lost it. Wild with mindless passion, he thrust urgently, giving himself up to nothing but the need for release. “Oh fuck, yes!” Luke gripped his shoulders and met him halfway, and together they pushed themselves past the edge of restraint and into something feral and uninhibited. Adam gripped Luke‟s cock and pumped it hard, matching the pace neither of them was willing to slow. A maelstrom of need built within Adam‟s body, fast reaching a peak he knew he‟d have a hard time coming down from. Pleasure, so intense that Adam worried it would tear him apart, ripped up his spine, bowing his
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back as he continued to plunge into Luke‟s tight, wet heat. There was no stopping, no slowing this down. It was a mad chaotic dash toward a finish he had no wish to end but couldn‟t control. Sweat trickled down his back, pooling to join the moisture gathered beneath his thighs. He strained toward a release, begged for it, the pressure almost too much to bear. Luke changed the angle of his hips, and if it was possible, he moved faster, and the cock in Adam‟s hand grew harder. It swelled, and the balls that had rested on Adam‟s stomach suddenly pulled up. Luke tensed but didn‟t slow down. “I‟m coming. Adam, I‟m coming. Fuck, fuck!” The cock in his hand bulged. The muscles sheathing his own cock rippled, then clamped down hard. Luke‟s movements became choppy, his hips jerking in spasms, and as Luke cried out again, his fingers digging deep into Adam‟s shoulders, hot streams of cum sprayed Adam‟s chest. “Come in me now. Fuck, Adam, please, come in me now!” Adam didn‟t have a choice, not that he wanted one. As Luke started to collapse against him, Adam grabbed his hips, and with one hard, frenzied lunge into a wall of heat and pulse and tight softness, he came. It was everything, giving up to Luke, everything and more. Wrung out, he pulled Luke down into his arms. Luke went to move off his lap, but Adam stopped him. “I want to stay inside.” It was incredible being deep in Luke‟s body, so incredible that Adam never wanted to pull out. But it was more than just the physical connection Adam felt. Somehow, being inside Luke seemed to connect them on a deeper, more profound level that, even with their link, he didn‟t feel anywhere else. “Okay.” Luke rested against him, the sound of his breathing still ragged, torn, his voice rough, sexy. His body was hot and covered in sweat, the hard planes of his stomach holding his softening cock so Adam could feel how supple it was. The scent of sex hung in the air, strong and spicy mixed with the smell of leather from the chair, sticky at his back, and the remnants of the strawberry lube Luke had used. Adam ran his tongue along the underside of Luke‟s jaw, capturing his taste, sweet, musky, arousing. Luke mumbled something against Adam‟s neck. “What was that?” “I said I‟m fucked.” “Why?” “You‟re still hard.” Adam smiled. “Not still, just coming back to it.” “Can you come again?” “Probably not so soon, but I can‟t help the way being inside you makes me feel.” “You like it, don‟t you?”
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“Obviously.” “I‟ve never had another man—” Adam quickly put his fingers over Luke‟s mouth. “Don‟t, please. I don‟t want to hear about any other lovers you‟ve had.” Luke stilled for a moment, then slowly nodded, moving in to kiss Adam. “Just you,” he said as his mouth descended. Adam automatically slid his hands over Luke‟s back and held on tight. “Just you.” Adam felt his heart swell as Luke‟s words built up inside his chest. They had to mean how they sounded, and as Luke‟s lips and tongue swept over his, Adam wanted to ask him, just to be sure. But not wanting to force Luke, once again, kept him silent. “Show me something,” he said instead as Luke broke their kiss and moved lower. “What?” Luke mumbled, his lips now pressed against Adam‟s throat. “Anything you like.” Adam didn‟t care what it was. He just wanted something from Luke, something of his he wanted to share. “Anything?” “Something special, something yours,” Adam amended. The brilliantly colored, crystal clear image that entered his mind took his breath away. Red and yellow flames curled, danced, and feathered to create and form the plumes of a bird‟s unfurled wings and strutting tail. Luminous, startling, stunning in its portrayal and design, the image in Adam‟s mind was instantly recognizable—a phoenix in flight. “Wow, that‟s beautiful. What is it?” Luke seemed to hesitate before replying. “My tattoo,” he said, his voice barely audible as he dropped his head onto Adam‟s shoulder. “Your tattoo? Where?” He tried to imagine the beautiful design on Luke‟s body and failed. Not because he didn‟t want to see it, but because the way Luke had presented the image made it seem impossible unless it covered most of his back. No, that wasn‟t right either. Back and chest, he thought. “Where?” he asked again. Luke shifted slightly. “You want to see it on my body?” “Of course I do.” “Give me your hand.” Luke gently guided Adam‟s hand to his right shoulder, then dragged it down, stopping just above his nipple. “The head is here, facing back over my shoulder. One wing comes around this way. The other goes around my back. The tail flows down my arm.” Luke traced the delicate lines of the image as he spoke, and Adam was able to see where and how the design graced Luke‟s body. “It‟s beautiful. Why didn‟t you show me this before?” Luke shrugged. “I wasn‟t sure if you would understand.”
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There was only one way for Adam to interpret that; Luke thought he would understand now. Excitement flooded him as he realized Luke was giving something of himself he‟d previously kept hidden. Luke was opening himself up, just as Adam wanted. He stroked over the image again, then ran his fingers up and over the scar on Luke‟s back, shoulder, neck, and chest. “The fire you got caught up in, was it bad?” Luke‟s body suddenly became stiff, unyielding. “Yes.” Adam sighed as he felt Luke‟s mental withdrawal again. This was something Luke seriously didn‟t want to discuss, and it was that instinct of Luke‟s to keep this part of his life hidden that made Adam want to know why. It was obviously important, obviously life changing. “How long ago?” he asked. It was a semineutral question. Luke would either answer it, or he wouldn‟t. “Six months.” About the time Luke had been prosecuted. Adam guessed it was no coincidence, and his curiosity got the better of him. “Do you want to tell me about it?” Luke shook his head. “No,” he said, his voice tight with a strain Adam could easily feel. Adam didn‟t push. He could tell Luke was really trying hard not to bolt off his lap and that whatever he was trying to hide was genuinely painful for him. Scattered, fleeting images pulsed within his mind, none lasting long enough for Adam to grasp. Luke was having trouble keeping his thoughts in control, and the result was a chaos of color and light. Running his fingers through Luke‟s hair, Adam tried to soothe away Luke‟s tension. He didn‟t want Luke to feel like this, didn‟t want him to feel like he had to withdraw. When Luke was ready, he‟d talk, and it didn‟t bother him that Luke wasn‟t ready right now. Luke had already started trusting him, confiding in him. The rest would come. When the flash of images eventually stopped and darkness once again filled his mind, Adam slid his hands down Luke‟s back and pulled him close. “You‟re going to slip out,” Luke warned, holding still. Adam smiled. He didn‟t mind. Not now. He slipped free and removed the condom. “No, stay with me,” he said when Luke went to move off him. Adjusting his position, Adam aligned his body so everything nestled together. Then he gathered Luke back into his arms and drew him to his chest. “Stay,” he repeated quietly. Slowly, Luke relaxed against him, his tension easing, his body growing heavy, his breathing slow and even. Adam had thought Luke had fallen asleep, but then Luke stirred. “Do you want to know why I got my tattoo?” he asked, his voice a low, strained whisper.
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Throat going tight, heart suddenly beating faster, Adam nodded, realizing the importance and relevance of Luke‟s question and how much it was costing Luke to ask it. “Please.” Luke took a deep, steadying breath before he started to talk, his voice still pitched low, still edgy. “As you probably figured it‟s a phoenix, a mythical bird known to rise from the ashes of its death pyre. It symbolizes a new beginning, a new life.” Luke hesitated and Adam waited, not daring to move, not daring to say anything. Luke twisted his head slightly so his lips were against Adam‟s neck, and Adam was sure Luke could feel the erratic beat of his pulse. Luke‟s body tensed up again, and it took all of Adam‟s self-control not to say something, do something. Then Luke sighed. “I got the tattoo kind of hoping it would remind me that my past did not have to represent my future, that I could face the challenges and rise above them.” Luke‟s confession tore at Adam‟s resolve. “You will. You are,” he told him, holding Luke tighter, unable to resist giving him some comfort. “You think so?” The naked yearning in Luke‟s voice made Adam want to tell him there and then that he loved him, that with him he had a life, a future. Again he held back, because despite what Luke had just divulged, he knew Luke still wasn‟t ready to be told. “I know so.” He tilted Luke‟s chin up and took his lips in a kiss that he hoped would convey some of what he felt, what he wanted to say. Maybe Luke understood, because he smiled against Adam‟s mouth, a hesitant smile certainly, but a smile nonetheless.
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Chapter Nine Luke slowly drifted awake, conscious of a soft mattress beneath his hip and a hard shoulder beneath his head. The feeling was pleasant, especially combined with the heavy weight of an arm around his waist and loose limbs tangled with his own. He half smiled before opening his eyes, resisting the luxurious urge to stretch in case he disturbed the man he was sleeping next to. Adam lay on his back, eyes closed, face peaceful, body relaxed. Asleep. Luke smiled fully this time, content to just lie there and bask in the heat of Adam‟s body and just look at him. He really was gorgeous. Adam‟s pale blond hair seemed lighter today, softer. His forehead was smooth, unmarred by worry or frown lines. Golden eyebrows curved gently over a strong brow, while gold-tipped lashes curled softly over lightly defined cheekbones. A straight nose drew his gaze to full, pouty lips, parted slightly as he breathed. They were seriously kissable lips, but Luke resisted leaning over and stealing a kiss, wanting to see more of Adam before he woke up. A strong pulse beat at Adam‟s neck, a pulse that had tripped erratically the night before when Luke had confessed about his tattoo. He‟d wondered about that, wondered if Adam had been afraid of what he would tell him. He was sure Adam had liked his tattoo, but maybe Adam hadn‟t liked why he‟d gotten it. It hadn‟t been easy, telling him. He‟d opened himself up for ridicule, disdain, even rejection. But Adam had shown him neither of those things, and deep down Luke had to admit that he knew Adam wouldn‟t. Adam‟s kindness, compassion, and gentleness were virtues that set him apart from anyone else Luke knew. He didn‟t judge, didn‟t condemn; instead he listened, and then lavished kind words that were meant to soothe and encourage. But that didn‟t mean Adam understood the urgent compulsion that had driven Luke to get himself inked with a depiction of a phoenix. To Luke it was a constant reminder, like the scar—the good that could come of his life versus the bad that had already happened. He needed that reminder, needed to know his life wasn‟t just one big miserable hellhole. He sighed as he took in the rest of Adam‟s body. Broad shoulders and chest, scar and tattoo free, tapered down to a trim waist with a washboard stomach. He wasn‟t sure how Adam worked out, but his stomach muscles were to die for, and from his navel, a faint trail of blond hair tracked down to the golden curls that nestled at the base of his belly, a perfect complement to the thick cock that jutted from Adam‟s thighs. The quilt covering them both had pooled at their hips, and it was no strain to peek at where they touched. Adam was hard, his erection pressed against the
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softness of Luke‟s stomach. Luke‟s own cock butted up against the juncture of Adam‟s thigh, and it wouldn‟t have been much of an effort to flex his hips and rub along the smoothness of Adam‟s heated skin. The rest of Adam‟s body was hidden, but Luke already knew how Adam looked—strong, powerful, in control, and sexier than any man had a right to be. Switching his gaze back to Adam‟s face, Luke now waited impatiently for Adam to wake up. He wanted Adam to fuck him, or at the very least, they could suck each other off. As soon as the thought entered his head, Luke envisioned a scenario where Adam was fucking him and managing to suck on his cock at the same time. He‟d seen it done in a film once, but wasn‟t sure if it was actually possible for any length of time. Bent almost double like that, the person doing the fucking and sucking would hardly be able to breathe. But it was worth a try, Luke thought, wondering if he would ever have the nerve to suggest it. But maybe he didn‟t have to. All he had to do was imagine it in his head, and Adam would get the idea. Luke grinned. Having this link with Adam was pretty phenomenal. But it was also dangerous. Last night it had been really difficult not to think about his beating, the fire, and what had come afterward. He didn‟t know how much of it he‟d managed to suppress, but it was pretty obvious Adam was getting the brunt of his panicked thoughts. Getting that much chaotic imaging in one go should have caused Adam to push Luke off him. Instead he‟d gathered Luke into his arms and held him, soothed him, calmed him until Luke had been able to push everything to the back of his mind and bury it, like it had been buried for the past six months. During the past couple of days, Luke had worried that the one thing he needed to keep hidden was the one thing he was going to accidently allow Adam to see. Last night had been his biggest test. Until then, most of his thoughts had been centered around sex with Adam, so most of the images in his head had been focused on Adam and him in various sexual positions. But as soon as Adam had asked him about the fire, Luke had been unable to hold back the vision of what had happened to him that night. He‟d struggled, focusing his attention on something else, anything else, and the resulting mayhem had been almost physically painful. God knew what Adam must have gone through, unable to control what Luke was sending him and knowing it was only because Luke was trying to hide something from him. Yet he hadn‟t pushed. He‟d let Luke open up in his own way, in his own time. No one else had done that. No one else had Adam‟s patience, Adam‟s kindness, Adam‟s heart. A heart Luke wanted. Luke shook his head as the thought entered his mind. Shit, he couldn‟t think like that. He couldn‟t allow himself to think that Adam would want him, couldn‟t afford to believe, couldn‟t afford to hope. It was pointless. He knew it was, yet… Could Adam want him? Could there be any chance Adam would see past his history, see past what he‟d done, and want him anyway? Again, Luke thought the idea was useless, but he still couldn‟t get past the feeling that maybe Adam could.
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He didn‟t know, and he was too scared of rejection to try to find out. There was no way he could tell Adam about his past, but maybe he didn‟t have to. Maybe he could keep hidden what he‟d done and forget about it. Maybe he could just pretend the whole fucking thing never happened. Luke knew it would mean having to change his plans, plans he hadn‟t wanted to make in the first place. He‟d been running away; he knew that. Running from a past into an unknown future. But maybe he didn‟t have to run. Maybe he could stay. Maybe he could have a future with Adam. But what about getting Adam to want him? How could he convince Adam that he wanted to be a part of his life? Adam had already said that he didn‟t want the complications of a relationship, that he didn‟t want anyone living with him, but maybe they could sort something out. Maybe they could come to some sort of an arrangement. As Luke watched Adam sleep, he thought about it. The only thing they had in common, the only thing connecting them, was their link. And Adam‟s insatiable need to keep making love to him, Luke added with a grin. Luke knew he could probably keep Adam interested with his body, but he also knew it wasn‟t enough. That left their link. But could he use it? Could he persuade Adam that he couldn‟t do without the images Luke was able to send him? Could he try to make Adam think he needed him? Maybe he could, but should he? How wrong would it be to make a blind man dependent on him because he had something he needed? Luke knew damn well how wrong it was, but looking at the man sleeping peacefully at his side, the man he wanted, the man he was falling in love with, he was more than prepared to do it. For a long while Luke just watched him, watched the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, watched the play of muscles as Adam unconsciously shifted, watched the way Adam smiled as he slowly came awake. Bright aqua eyes opened, and Luke stared into their beautiful depths for several moments, drowning in the clear, deep pools but never wanting to be rescued. “Hey,” he said. Adam‟s smile widened. “Hey yourself. How long have you been awake?” Adam stretched, his arm brushing against Luke‟s chest. “Not long.” “Were you watching me?” Adam‟s hand slid down his hip, stroking softly, eliciting a raw shiver of desire from Luke as warm fingers continued down over his ass. Luke didn‟t mind if Adam knew he was. In fact he wanted Adam to know. “Yes.” “See anything interesting?” Luke glanced down to Adam‟s hard cock, which was still pressed against his stomach. “Yes.”
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Adam laughed, though Luke knew he wouldn‟t have known what he‟d glanced at. Except Adam knew him well enough to guess. Luke smiled. Waking up like this was nice. It was how he wanted to wake up every morning—next to Adam. When Adam leaned down to kiss him, Luke automatically stretched up to meet his mouth. He smiled again as he remembered Adam explaining how Luke always made sure their lips met properly every time. Adam kissed him lightly, then slid his hand over Luke‟s shoulder and down his arm. “Show me your tattoo again,” he asked. Surprised and pleased, Luke sent Adam the image of the tattoo and how it lay over his body. Adam traced the design with his fingertips, and after a while Luke became a little self-conscious because it felt like Adam wasn‟t just examining the phoenix but the reason Luke had given him for getting it done. Not sure if he was ready for Adam to start asking questions, Luke changed the image to the two of them as they were now, naked, legs tangled, hard cocks waiting for some attention. Adam grinned, moved a little closer, and kissed the edge of his chest, his lips warm and soft, the contact sending a light tingle down Luke‟s spine. Luke rolled onto his back as Adam continued down his torso, moaning as Adam‟s kisses turned serious. Adam‟s teeth nibbled at his stomach, his tongue licking across his skin. Luke watched as Adam slowly got closer to what Luke really wanted him to put his lips on. Then suddenly Adam drew back, frowning. “What time is it?” he asked. Confused, Luke checked his watch. “Eight o‟clock. Why?” “Ugh, I have to go to work.” “What? Now?” Luke groaned in frustration. Surely Adam wouldn‟t leave him like this, would he? And what about Adam‟s needs? Luke had really wanted to get at Adam‟s cock, had really wanted to sink down on it, either with his ass or with his mouth—something, anything! Adam groaned as well. “Believe me. I don‟t want to, but if I don‟t go now, I‟ll be late.” Biting back a protest, knowing Adam wouldn‟t stop this if he had any choice, Luke lifted onto his elbows as Adam sat up. “How do you get there?” Luke asked, suddenly thinking of something. “I walk.” “And how long does it take?” “About twenty minutes. Why?” Luke smiled, deciding he was going to get Adam‟s cock after all. “I could drive you. Then we can do something in the time saved.” Adam‟s face lit up. “Like what?” Luke quickly decided what he wanted to do. He reached up and slid his hand against Adam‟s cheek and sent him an image. “Can we do that in less than twenty minutes?”
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“I bet we can do it in less than five.” “You‟re on,” Adam challenged. Luke lay back and waited while Adam maneuvered himself so they were head to toe. Luke shivered as he watched, then moaned as Adam slid his hand up the length of his thigh to get his position just right. Adam continued his caress over Luke‟s belly, then back down to firmly grip the base of his shaft, and then Adam brought his mouth closer, inhaled deeply, and smiled slightly before dipping his tongue into the pool of precum that had formed on the top of Luke‟s cock. Luke groaned at both the visual and the sensation as Adam‟s tongue slid sensually over the responsive glans. “Did I get it wrong, or did you not send an image of us both doing this?” Adam asked, lifting his head and turning in Luke‟s direction. “No, you didn‟t get it wrong.” “Then what are you waiting for?” “Do you realize how erotic this looks?” “Actually, I do.” Luke glanced into Adam‟s bright eyes and smiled. “Yeah, I guess you do,” he said. And it was only because of their link that Adam did know. This really was something he could use to get Adam to start thinking he needed him. He couldn‟t just keeping sending Adam sexual images, but like the rock climbing yesterday and the game of pool the day before, there had to be other aspects of Adam‟s life that Luke could enhance. He searched Adam‟s face as Adam patiently waited, then grinned as an idea came to him. There was something he could do, but that was for later. Now, he wanted Adam‟s cock in his mouth. He quickly took hold of the hard length bobbing in front of his face and copied Adam‟s initial action, licking over the sensitive head before taking it fully into his mouth. Adam hissed as if in pain, his hips reflexively thrusting deeper. Luke let him, opening his throat and allowing Adam to go deeper still. Adam groaned, and his fingers dug into Luke‟s thigh before he followed Luke‟s lead and swallowed him down to the root. Luke let out a muffled cry as Adam engulfed him completely, his cockhead fitting snugly down the back of Adam‟s throat. He loved being deep throated but rarely got to experience it. There weren‟t many men who had managed to control their gag reflex even with practice, so he was surprised when Adam had done so with little effort considering he‟d never done it before the other day. However, Luke knew by now that when Adam put his mind to something, he excelled at it. But this was something Luke knew he excelled at too. He brought his lips together and sucked back to the top, using the flat of his tongue to bathe the underside of Adam‟s cock. Adam groaned, so Luke did it again, hoping Adam understood what he was trying to do. Last time they did this, Luke hadn‟t had time to show Adam what he liked or to learn what Adam wanted, but from experience he knew that the best way to learn was to teach, so this time he carefully did to Adam
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what he wanted done to himself. Sure enough Adam got the hint and within minutes was giving Luke the best headjob he‟d ever had. So good, Luke knew he wasn‟t going to last. As mouth, lips, tongue, and the soft caress of Adam‟s fingers brought him close, Luke didn‟t bother trying to hold back. He moaned as Adam swallowed him whole again and was only just in time to warn that he was coming before the hot pleasure blasting though his balls and the pulse of his semen hitting the back of Adam‟s throat made him forget everything else. He half murmured an apology as his body collected itself. Adam just chuckled, then twisted onto his back and hauled Luke over him. Luke automatically went up onto his knees, then went back to work on Adam‟s cock. Adam moaned appreciatively while his hands slid over the backs of Luke‟s legs. Luke tried to ignore the soft touch and concentrate instead on getting Adam off. He doubled his efforts, conscious of how long this was taking and of Adam‟s persistent caress. Smooth fingers now explored his ass, kneading gently. Luke heard Adam groan, felt the vibrations of it against his cock, which hung slack on Adam‟s chest. Luke eased up a little and dropped down onto one forearm so he could bring his other hand up to grasp the base of Adam‟s cock. His movement brought his body flush with Adam‟s, the heat of it seeping through his skin. Adam shifted slightly just before Luke felt the wet tip of his finger pet and probe his hole. Luke cried out in both surprise and pleasure. Adam circled his finger, slowly, easy and oh so perfect that Luke lost his concentration of everything except that touch. “Don‟t stop,” Adam urged, lifting his hips. Luke mumbled another apology and sucked his mouth up to the top, drinking down the fresh drops of precum that had gathered there. “Oh God, Luke, that‟s so good.” Luke didn‟t think it was good enough if Adam could still talk. He swirled his tongue over the soft, spongy head and was just about to suck on it when he felt the tip of Adam‟s finger enter him. “Oh fuck!” Completely lost in the sensation, he instinctively pushed back, moaning as Adam‟s finger slid in deeper. “You‟re so hot,” Adam declared. “And I‟m coming,” he groaned. Luke had barely enough presence of mind to clamp his mouth back down on Adam‟s cock, surprised at the thick ribbon of cum that jetted the back of his throat. He swallowed some before drawing back and catching the rest of it in the curl of his tongue. Wriggling free from Adam‟s possession, he turned around, and while Adam was still shaking, he kissed him, passing the cum that was still in his mouth. For half a second, Adam resisted but gave in and swallowed, grimacing slightly. “What was that?” “Snowball.” “A warm snowball?”
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“Best kind there is,” Luke said, kissing him again before glancing at his watch. “Now, if you don‟t want to play hooky, you‟d better get your ass out of bed, or you‟re going to be late.” Adam groaned and closed his eyes. “I don‟t think I can move just yet.” Luke wasn‟t really sure he could either, but conscious of the time, he climbed off the bed and slapped Adam on his hip. “Up and have a shower. I‟ll get dressed.” “You don‟t want a shower?” “We don‟t have time,” Luke reminded him. “We could have one together.” Luke had noticed the shower stall was big enough for two, and he was tempted, but he shook his head. “No, or you‟ll definitely be late.” Adam grumbled but climbed off the bed with what was obvious reluctance. “What clothes are you wearing?” Luke called out as Adam padded to the bathroom. “Slacks and a white shirt.” Luke picked out some clothes for Adam and put them on the bed. He heard the shower start while he dressed in the clothes he‟d worn yesterday; then he waited, smiling as he noted that all of Adam‟s shirts were white. After a few minutes Adam came back, still damp from the shower, a towel slung over his shoulder. Luke stole a lingering look over Adam‟s perfect body, dragging his gaze from the tips of Adam‟s golden hair to the ridiculously flawless toes on Adam‟s slim feet. Adam stopped and cocked his head to the side facing where Luke sat on the edge of the bed. “Are you ogling me again?” he asked. Luke took another long look, fighting back a rising arousal as he stared at Adam‟s thick cock. “Yep,” he admitted, smiling as Adam grinned. He stood up and handed Adam his clothes. “Hurry up,” he instructed, worriedly glancing at his watch again. “Ready?” he asked as Adam finally did up the last button of his shirt. “One thing first.” Adam took a step closer and snagged Luke around the waist. Luke automatically lifted his face to Adam‟s kiss, amazed at how naturally he did that. Then he pushed up against Adam‟s chest and deepened the kiss while wrapping his arms around Adam‟s neck and holding on tight. Adam opened his mouth, and Luke moaned as he slid his tongue inside, the wet heat meeting his in a slow, drugging meld. Adam inhaled through his nose, and Luke knew he was taking advantage of their proximity to capture his scent. “Mmm, you smell like sex. You taste like it too.” Luke laughed and pulled back. “You really are pushing the envelope of being late, aren‟t you?” he said. “You‟re worth it.” Adam‟s simple reply took Luke by surprise. Could Adam really mean that? He looked up into his face and saw a slight smile on his mouth. “Every minute,” Adam added. Then he bent his head and took Luke‟s mouth again, softly this time but with no less need or want.
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“Late,” Luke reminded him and regretfully pulled out of Adam‟s arms. He wanted the moment to last. He wanted Adam to say something like that again and know that he meant it. He led the way to the front door and smiled as Adam groaned in protest. “And don‟t get used to this either. I‟m not going to be here to take you to work every morning.” Though he‟d used a teasing tone, he waited anxiously for Adam‟s response. He would be more than happy to drive Adam to work every morning and pick him up every night. “Don‟t worry. I won‟t get used to it, but I have to admit, I like the idea.” Luke stopped and turned to face Adam as he came up behind him. “You do?” Heart suddenly beating harder, Luke began to wonder if Adam had already started to think of him staying, had already started to think of him being there for him. “Yes, sex every morning and a lift to work? What man wouldn‟t want that?” Disappointed, because it wasn‟t what he‟d wanted to hear, Luke turned back to the front door and opened it. “Yeah, I guess so.” Whatever he was hoping for wasn‟t going to happen. Adam didn‟t see him as someone worth keeping. Clenching his jaw to keep from blurting out something stupid, Luke stepped out onto the balcony and waited while Adam closed the door behind them. Then he reached out and took Adam‟s hand to take him down the stairs. He knew damn well Adam didn‟t need his help, but he wanted to give it, wanted Adam to realize that he was there for him, regardless of how long it might last.
*** Adam fidgeted and checked the time on the clock on his desk, sliding his fingers over the flip braille digits. Ten past three. Twenty minutes to go. Twenty minutes before Luke picked him up. Luke had offered, and Adam had readily accepted—anything to spend time with Luke. He already missed him, already missed his scent, his voice, the warmth and feel of his hand wrapped tightly around his. Adam knew he was seriously becoming needy, but there was nothing he could do about it. The love he felt for Luke was so deep, so intense, that he honestly didn‟t think there would be a time when he didn‟t want Luke, didn‟t need him. He heard the clock click, signaling another minute gone. Trying to take his mind off the time, which seemed to tick past excruciatingly slowly, Adam lifted his head and listened to the normal sounds of the classroom. His students were busy reading, the almost silent whispers of pages turning drifting across the expanse of the room. Adam smiled, despite the impatience that was starting to gnaw at him. Knowing his students were enjoying the book he‟d assigned them delighted him. He never got over how much the imagination and the words of an author could transport you to another world, another place, another time, taking you from this one and into the realms of fantasy in the next. That was what he loved most about his job—being able to get his students to absorb and relish new things, to understand, to accept, to want to learn more.
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The clock ticked past another minute, and Adam began to despair that the remaining eighteen minutes were never going to end. Then he heard a sound at the door and turned to face it, intrigued. Someone stood there. A ripple of interest echoed around the room, and Adam got up from behind his desk. And then a familiar scent reached him. Luke! Luke entered and came straight up to Adam with no hesitation, no caution. “Hi,” he said, the velvet softness of his voice like music to Adam‟s ears. Adam couldn‟t hide his enthusiasm. “What are you doing here?” he asked, automatically reaching out to touch him. “I thought I‟d help you with that project you wanted.” Luke kept his voice low so his words wouldn‟t travel to the alert children. “You want to see them, right?” Shocked, Adam felt his knees go weak. “Oh, God, yes!” “Then come on. Introduce me.” Luke gripped his hand and led him toward the front of the class. Nervous, excited, and filled with an emotion that threatened to burst free, Adam was almost too keyed up to address his students. He hadn‟t expected this, hadn‟t even imagined Luke doing something like this for him. Luke had asked him to bring a picture home so he could see what his students looked like. He never thought Luke would take the experience to a whole new level. “Class, this is my friend, Luke.” Adam clutched Luke‟s hand tight and dragged it up to his chest, making sure there was no chance Luke could accidentally let go. “I want each of you in turn to stand up and say your name and a little bit about yourself. Charlotte, we‟ll start with you.” Adam faced where she sat and heard her giggle, then stand. “My name is Charlotte, I‟m nine years old, and I like reading.” She giggled again, then sat down. She was blonde with blue eyes and a cheeky little grin. Behind her Brian stood. “My name is Brian, I‟m nearly nine, and I like football.” Brian was a short, stocky child with unruly dark hair and a slightly disgruntled expression. Then Sally stood, and one by one, through Luke, Adam got to see his students. The bell rang just after the last of them, Jane, had presented herself. Suddenly the class exploded in a scrape of chairs and slammed books, and within moments the room had emptied with just a few of the children saying good-bye before they scampered out to meet their parents. Adam stood there, stunned and near to tears. He turned to Luke and was sure the other man could see the emotion on his face. “Thank you,” he said, knowing it just didn‟t come close to expressing how he felt. Right then, Adam knew he couldn‟t love Luke any more than he already did. “Don‟t thank me for doing something that was only right.” Luke‟s voice had an edge to it that Adam couldn‟t identify. If he had to take a guess, he would have said that Luke sounded guilty. But what the hell did Luke have to feel guilty about?
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Luke shifted slightly then, planted a tiny kiss on the corner of Adam‟s mouth. “Quick, before someone tells on us,” he said and then started to drag Adam toward the door. “Wait. I‟ve got to get my stuff.” Adam pulled free of Luke‟s hand and headed for his desk, gathering up his papers and stuffing them into his briefcase. It was only when he heard Luke make a little impatient sound at the back of his throat that he let him take him by the hand again and lead him out the school. Why was Luke feeling guilty? Or had it been something else he‟d heard in Luke‟s voice? Like lust? As they headed toward Luke‟s car, Adam stopped. “Luke, are we going to make love when we get home?” Luke‟s sharp intake of breath made Adam smile. “Is that a yes?” “You know it is.” “Got any new positions in mind?” He felt Luke hesitate. “Some.” “Want to do something different?” Now Luke seemed cautious. “What?” “My ass,” Adam said quietly, bringing his face close to Luke‟s. “Want to try it out?” Luke‟s audible groan was all the answer Adam needed. So that was what Luke had been wanting. So why hadn‟t Luke just sent him an image? But maybe he hadn‟t been sure that Adam would let him do it despite Adam reassuring him he wanted it just as much. As Luke helped him into the passenger seat, his body started to tighten in anticipation. He closed his eyes and rested his head, trying to control his breathing, trying to control his rapidly spiraling desire. When Luke climbed in beside him, he heard him moan. “Jesus.” “Can‟t help it,” Adam apologized. “Please, just get us home before I lose it.” “You‟re gonna make me lose it if you keep looking like that.” Adam reached between his thighs and squeezed his thickening erection, biting back a moan but knowing he couldn‟t look any more wanton. “Then drive quickly.” Luke did, only keeping to the speed limit because he had to. When they stopped in front of Adam‟s apartment, Adam didn‟t wait for Luke to help him out of the car. He headed toward the stairs, and with the confidence born of familiarity and with desperation pushing him, he reached the top and had the door open before Luke caught up to him. The second the front door closed, Adam had Luke pinned up next to it, his mouth fastened tightly on his, his hands exploring, roaming, claiming Luke‟s body. He reached into Luke‟s jeans and cupped the hard length that pulsed beneath his fingers, rubbing lightly but with enough force to make Luke whimper. “You‟re gonna make me come doing that.”
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Adam shook his head. “No, wait, keep it. I want you inside me when you come,” he said, grabbing Luke by the arm and leading him to the bedroom. Luke followed, but Adam noticed his feet dragged slightly. “Luke?” “We‟re really going to do this, aren‟t we?” Luke asked. “I damn well hope so. I can‟t wait a second longer.” Then Adam stopped and turned around. “You do still want to?” Maybe he‟d gotten it wrong, or maybe Luke had changed his mind. “Yes, I still want to.” “Then what‟s wrong?” “I‟ve never done this before.” Adam moved back into Luke‟s arms. “I know, and neither have I,” he said. “But I really want you in me, Luke.” Adam patiently waited, and then he heard Luke release a pent-up breath just before Luke‟s hands wrapped around his waist and he was urged toward the bedroom. “Then we can do it together,” Luke said. In the bedroom Adam stood until Luke stripped and got on the bed. Then he slowly undressed, knowing Luke liked to watch. He stroked himself, his fingers nimble against the thick length of his cock, listening to the low moan that told him Luke was getting turned on. He wanted this to be good; he wanted Luke to really want him, need him. He wanted Luke to change his bloody mind about leaving and stay with him. But he still had to convince him first. Climbing on the bed, Adam crawled over to Luke, his hand landing squarely in the middle of Luke‟s thigh. Hard, hot, it shifted beneath him. Adam slid his hand higher and heard Luke chuckle. “You‟re heading in the right direction.” “I‟m not looking for your cock; I‟m aiming for your mouth.” “Well, it‟s not down there.” Adam laughed and moved up farther. Curling his arm around Luke‟s waist, he pulled him in close. “I know where your mouth is. It‟s a beautiful mouth, very kissable, soft yet firm, and I love the way it kisses me back.” “I‟d hope so, considering how many times we kiss.” “Do you like kissing me?” Adam asked, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear it anyway. “Yeah, love it.” Love, just the word he wanted to hear. Now all he had to do was get Luke to say it with two other words attached to it. He crawled higher, his thigh now pressing between Luke‟s legs, his chest skimming along Luke‟s muscled torso, and as Adam hovered over him, Luke raised his arms and slid them around Adam‟s neck. Adam smiled and bent his head, claiming Luke‟s mouth with a combination of tenderness and passion.
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Luke moaned softly, arched his back a little, and pulled Adam closer. Adam opened his mouth, encouraging Luke to do the same while he pressed forward with his tongue. Luke met him halfway, his touch gentle, the wet slide of his tongue warm and tempting. Adam breathed in deeply. Luke smelled of lemon and musk, with a trace of peppermint, which he could also taste on his tongue. Nothing had ever felt as good as Luke in his arms. Nothing meant so much. He needed Luke, not just in his arms, but in his life, for always. Luke pulled away, then pressed a palm against his shoulder and pushed. “On your back. It‟s my turn.” Adam fell back, and Luke crawled on top, legs planted on either side of his hips, hard cock on his stomach, hands spread on his chest. “Relax, enjoy.” “Oh, I intend to.” Adam felt Luke flex his arms just before Luke‟s lips feathered over his, the light downy touch little more than his hot breath, which Adam greedily inhaled. When Luke‟s tongue started a wet trail down his throat, Adam squirmed and tilted his chin to give Luke better access. Luke smiled and nibbled over his collarbone while working his way down to his chest. Adam tensed as Luke neared his nipple, then made a sound of protest as Luke half laughed and bypassed to skim over his stomach. “Are you trying to torture me?” he complained. “I‟m only doing to you what you did to me,” Luke said, his mouth twisting into a smile as he kissed down to Adam‟s waist. Adam began to tense again, his hands lightly resting on Luke‟s shoulders. “Luke, please.” “Tell me what you want.” Luke started nibbling the skin over Adam‟s hip, causing him to twitch. “I want you in me.” Luke‟s breath was hot and spicy on his wet skin, and the fingers that had been caressing the top of his thigh tightened slightly. “I‟m getting there.” “Get there faster.” Luke just chuckled and moved back up his body, kissing his neck. “Do you want to be on your back?” he asked just before his tongue delved into the sensitive spot behind Adam‟s ear. Adam nodded; he didn‟t really care how they did it, as long as they did it soon. “Good, that way I can see your face when you‟re coming.” Luke‟s edgy voice and the sudden quick image he sent cut a path of need through Adam, and he moaned.
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He pulled Luke down and kissed him, keeping it soft, keeping it simple until he felt Luke grasp his cock and start stroking it; then soft and simple weren‟t enough. He thrust into Luke‟s hand and felt the firm fingers wrap around him tighter. Unable to help it, Adam reached for Luke. Hard steel covered by the softest skin met his searching hand. Luke groaned, then broke the kiss. “If we keep doing this, we‟re not going to get any further,” Luke warned. “Then get the lube.” Luke practically himself launched across the bed. Adam heard him fumble in the top drawer of his bedside cabinet, then crawl back down the bed. “Open up for me,” Luke said, his tone hushed, almost inaudible. Adam planted his feet on the bed and spread his legs wide. “Oh God.” Adam grinned. “You‟ve never seen a man‟s ass before?” “Not like that, not the way you‟re giving yourself to me.” “I‟m yours, Luke. I‟ll always give myself to you.” “You mean that?” The soft catch in Luke‟s voice spoke volumes. Adam smiled. “Of course I mean it.” Maybe now, Luke might consider not going anywhere. Maybe now, Luke just might realize he had something worth staying here for. Luke didn‟t reply, but Adam didn‟t expect him to, didn‟t need him to. Luke still had to figure this out in his own time. The snap of a bottle being opened and the subsequent fragrance of cherry filling the air had Adam grinning. “Had to do it,” Luke said, just as cool liquid was smeared along the crack of his ass and over his waiting hole. As soon as he felt the pressure of Luke‟s finger, he groaned and instinctively pushed down to meet the gently forced entry. He hadn‟t really expected it to be any different from when he put his own finger in there, but the difference was poles apart. Doing it to himself was as uninspiring as trying to tickle himself compared to the feel of Luke inside him. He groaned again as Luke slid deeper and partially withdrew. “Are you okay?” Luke asked him before sliding back in again. “What do you think?” Luke‟s warm mouth kissed the inside of his thigh, startling him and arousing him further. He arched his back and edged farther onto Luke‟s finger. “You‟re okay.” Another warm kiss, and then he felt another finger enter him. The extra stretch burned for a second but was quickly replaced by double the pleasure. Without realizing it, Adam shifted his hips and started moving in time to Luke‟s deep pushes. “Luke, don‟t stop whatever you‟re doing. That feels incredible.”
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“Gonna get better,” Luke promised just before Adam felt a hot, wet tongue licking beneath the full sac of his balls at the same time Luke‟s fingers curled and stroked along his prostate. Adam cried out as heat shot up his spine. His back bowed, and for one horrible moment, he thought he was going to come. “Don‟t! Stop!” he managed to get out through gritted teeth, clawing at the sheets beneath him so hard he thought he might tear them. “Was that don’t stop?” Luke asked, clearly enjoying this. “No! God, Luke, don‟t do that again. I‟ll come.” “But I have to get another finger in there yet.” Adam didn‟t think he could take another one, not if it was going to feel like that. However, Luke seemed to know what was going through his mind. “I‟ll be careful,” he said while slowly continuing to stretch the tight muscle he intended to breach with his cock. Adam felt a third finger, and he tensed, not sure what to expect, but he only felt a rich fullness that maintained the pleasure but thankfully didn‟t push it any higher, until Luke licked his balls again. “Stop doing that!” Luke ignored him, the warm swipe of his tongue sending Adam slowly out of his mind while the fingers stroking him were taking him too close to coming. Desperate, Adam grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed hard. Luke chucked, which only made Adam have to squeeze harder. “Luke, please!” The physical torture stopped when tongue and fingers were removed, but then Adam felt Luke readjust his position, heard the sound of a foil packet being torn open, and smelled the fresh fragrance of cherry filling the air. He groaned, mentally picturing what was going to happen next. “Ready?” Luke asked. Adam wanted to come up with some smart retort. All he could do was nod. Hot hands slid beneath his ass, and he was lifted. There was a light touch at his hole, which increased slightly, and just when he thought Luke was going to push in, the pressure stopped. In that one moment he‟d forgotten this was Luke‟s first time too. “Luke, I want this. I want you.” “Yeah, I know.” “And you want this too.” The pressure increased again. Adam strained to meet it. “Together, okay?” Luke‟s thumb caressed a tiny circle. “Together,” Luke echoed. Then Luke pressed forward, his slim length gliding effortlessly inside. Adam moved to take him, willing his body to accept Luke so their joining was as beautiful and as special as it should be. Luke moaned, his hands moving from Adam‟s
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backside to his hips, holding him until he‟d slid all the way in. Being filled by Luke felt amazing. But the feeling didn‟t seem to just center in one place; it seemed that all of his body had been filled by Luke, and his heart and his mind and his soul. “Luke.” “I know.” Did he? Did Luke know how he felt? Did he realize Adam loved him? Desperately wanting to say something, Adam held off. In his mind he‟d rehearsed the moment. That moment wasn‟t yet, but he wasn‟t going to be able to wait much longer. Luke‟s hands moved up his torso, then pushed his arms back. The weight of Luke‟s body pressed him down as he slid their hands together, palm on palm, their fingers joined. Warm breath fanned his cheek; then a soft mouth grazed along his jaw before coming to rest on his lips. Luke‟s kiss was gentle, but Adam quickly realized Luke was holding on by a thin thread of restraint. “Are you all right?” he asked. “How the hell did you last?” Luke said on a groan. “I feel like I‟m going to come now.” Adam knew what he meant and sympathized. “I didn‟t last long.” “Long enough to make me come. I‟m not going to be able to do it.” “Yes, you are, because you‟ve only got to move once and I‟m going to explode.” Adam could feel the tension in Luke‟s body suspended above him, the same tension that tightened his own, and with each second Luke held still and stretched the moment, Adam thought he was going to break. He was shaking with the effort to stay motionless, to not force the issue, and because of that, he knew the instant Luke got ready to pull back. Adam geared himself up, his fingers tightening on Luke‟s. He hadn‟t lied when he said he‟d come if Luke moved, and the second he felt the sensual glide of Luke‟s cock, his body was blasted with pleasure so intense it felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. “Luke!” His cry was swallowed by Luke as he was kissed through his orgasm, which seemed to go on and on because, despite what he‟d said, Luke was managing to drive into him, long hard strokes that nailed his prostate with each passionate thrust of Luke‟s hips. Caught between wanting to help Luke and not being able to move, Adam could only kiss him back when he felt Luke‟s body constrict on the verge of coming. A low sound filled the back of Luke‟s throat seconds before he tore his mouth away and groaned aloud. “Oh, God! Oh my God! Adam!” Adam drew his legs up, and Luke swore as his body stiffened and his cock slammed into Adam one last time. Adam felt the thick swell of Luke‟s cock and the
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sudden heat of his climax and reflexively clamped down with his inner muscles, wanting to feel every last pulse and ripple as Luke emptied himself. Every particle of Adam‟s body rejoiced in their union in that moment. Luke had done something with Adam he‟d never done with anyone else before, and that gave Adam a feeling of entitlement and possession. As far as he was concerned, Luke was his now and would never be anyone else‟s, and he didn‟t think it was going to take much more to persuade Luke of that. Boneless, Luke slumped on top of him, his breathing harsh, his body still shaking slightly. “Oh, fuck, I don‟t believe I just did that.” Adam grinned and brought his arms down to wrap them around Luke‟s back. He held him close, not wanting him to move away. “You did, and it was amazing.” “I didn‟t make it last for you.” Luke‟s half-mumbled apology made Adam want to hold him even tighter and never let him go. He‟d never met anyone who considered his needs, his wants before their own, and it was refreshing if not surprising. Nothing Luke did could surprise him now. He slid his hands up and down Luke‟s back. Luke‟s skin was slick with sweat, his body hot and completely limp. “I was overstimulated,” he explained. “Nothing was going to make it last. And anyway, we can do it again.” “You promise?” There was so much more in that question that Adam couldn‟t help but feel satisfied. He smiled, feeling happier than he‟d ever felt in his life. “Yes, I promise.” Luke‟s mouth on his neck twisted up into a smile, and then his breathing began to slow, and his body began to grow heavier. He was falling asleep. “It‟s nice in there.” The slurred words caused Adam to start laughing, and the shift in his body forced Luke‟s softened cock out. He turned onto his side and gently deposited Luke and then peeled off the condom, disposing of it on a pile of tissues on his bedside cabinet. Pulling the quilt over them, he gathered Luke back into his arms. Luke curled contentedly around him. Adam listened to his breathing while feeling the steady beat of his heart. The smell of sex hung heavy in the air, and just for the hell of it, Adam ran his tongue beneath the curve of Luke‟s jaw. Luke moaned and moved closer. Adam grinned. It couldn‟t get any better than this, except for one thing. Unable to help it, unable to deny himself any longer, unable to keep what he felt hidden, Adam pulled back slightly and slid his face against Luke‟s so his lips were close to Luke‟s ear. Then hoping this was the right time, hoping Luke was ready, he said the words he‟d been practicing. “Tu sei l’uomo del mio cuore.” You are the man of my heart.
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Chapter Ten Luke woke up with a heavy body pressed over him and a hot mouth working its way up his back. His skin tingled at the contact, and heat spread out to encompass the rest of him. His cock instantly hardened. “About time. You sleep like the dead.” Adam‟s low voice vibrated against his spine before the hot kisses started up again. He was on his stomach, arms above his head, legs spread wide. One of Adam‟s hands pinned his wrists together; the other was gently probing between the cheeks of his ass. A wet finger found his hole and started circling against it in lazy swirls that made Luke squirm, the pressure increasing slightly with each rotation until it eased inside. “Adam? What are you doing?” It was a stupid question; he knew what Adam was doing. Adam seemed to think it was a stupid question also, because he didn‟t answer. Instead, the finger slid in deeper. It stroked him slowly, gently, and then was joined by another. “God you‟re hot.” Another kiss was planted on his back; then Luke felt Adam move. He twisted and looked down the length of his body. Adam knelt over him, his cock full and hard and already covered in a condom. Luke groaned, both at the sight and the knowledge of what Adam was preparing to do. Adam bent and kissed the side of his mouth before letting go of his wrists and climbing between his spread thighs. Luke went to lift up onto his knees, but a warm, firm hand at the small of his back stopped him. “Stay where you are. Don‟t move.” The fingers in his ass continued to stretch him, and then a third joined them. Instinctively Luke pushed against them, seeking more contact, wanting them deeper. He heard Adam‟s low moan, and the hand holding him began to smooth over his back, the fingers trailing across his skin leaving hot tendrils of fire to smolder and burn in their wake. He squirmed. His cock, hard beneath his belly, rubbed deliciously against the cool sheet. Adam continued to stroke both his ass and his back, and Luke soon realized he could come like this. He moaned again, both in pleasure and in warning. “Nice?” “What do you think?” Luke managed to ask, his body already beginning to tighten as the pleasure continued.
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“I think it‟s more than nice.” Adam‟s voice was riddled with amusement and hunger. Another kiss was aimed in the middle of his back, and then the tip of Adam‟s tongue tracked downward along his spine until it dipped into the crease at the top of his ass. Luke groaned and pushed back as the tip teased an area he hadn‟t even realized was sensitive until then. Adam continued to tease, continued to probe until Luke seriously began to wonder if Adam was intent on making him come like this. “Adam, please.” “Please what?” “I want you in me.” “I am in you.” The amusement was still there, but the hunger had increased, and so did the pressure in his ass. He was going to come, but he didn‟t want to come like this. Desperate, Luke sent Adam an image of what he wanted. Adam buried balls-deep, pounding into him. “No, Luke, don‟t. I don‟t want an image. Not now,” Adam said as he slipped his fingers free. Luke didn‟t have time to grasp what Adam meant before Adam nudged his legs wider and slid his hands beneath Luke‟s hips, pulling him into position. The hard length of Adam‟s cock eased between his cheeks, and then Adam skillfully guided himself in. Luke bit into the pillow near his head, everything else forgotten as Adam slid deep in one slow perfect glide, the angle causing the thick length to track along his prostate, sending spasms of pleasure to shoot to his balls until Luke thought he was going to disintegrate. He cried out, and despite the pillow, the sound came out as a gurgled rasp. Strong hands ran over his back, following every line of muscle and bone. Fingertips kneaded, those same fingertips that had explored his face, that had seen him. Luke groaned, knowing Adam was mapping out his body, becoming intimate with it as no other man could. Adam‟s hands continued around to his chest, finding his nipples, playing with them until they were hard and aching. “You like that, don‟t you?” Adam‟s whisper against his ear sent a sharp jolt of desire to race down to his groin to add to his already aching cock. “You know I do,” Luke managed against the grit of his teeth. “Do you want more?” The soft palm of Adam‟s right hand skimmed over his nipple again but then slid lower trailing a path over his taut stomach, where it leveled out against the base of his cock. “Or do you want me to do this instead?” Sure, confident fingers gripped the root and then slid sensuously to the exposed head. Precum had already gathered there, and Adam slicked it around and over his cock before beginning a heart-stoppingly slow wank that instantly had Luke groaning. He didn‟t care what Adam did as long as Adam did something. The full length of Adam‟s cock was buried deep in his ass, filling him, tantalizing him
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with a promise of more, but Adam wasn‟t moving, and the strain was taking its toll on Luke. He needed Adam to move. “This, then,” Adam declared, and as his hand worked Luke‟s shaft, he finally started to move his hips. Luke groaned again, low and deep as Adam held him still, the hard length sliding in and out of his hot channel with perfectly calculated strokes. Between cock and ass, Luke was coming apart. Each thrust was countered by the movement of Adam‟s hand. The rhythm designed to make it last but keep Luke so close to the edge that it was a sweet torture he didn‟t think he could live through. He whimpered, and Adam immediately stopped. “Not yet.” Gripping Luke‟s hips Adam pushed Luke to the bed until he was lying flat on his stomach, Adam‟s body following him down. The pressure in his ass increased as Adam‟s full weight bore him to the mattress before Adam eased up a little and put some of it on one forearm while slipping his other hand back beneath Luke‟s hip and gently gripping his cock. “How close?” he asked. Luke didn‟t even have to think to know what Adam was going on about, which was good because he knew he wasn‟t going to be thinking clearly at all within the next couple of seconds. “Very,” he managed to whisper through the tightening of his body as it began to get ready for an explosive release. The grip on his cock lessened, and Luke almost made a sound of complaint, but then Adam started to move his hips again, and the fierce hot flare of pleasure that slammed into him made him forget everything except the mindless need to come. Adam moved slowly within him, each stroke of his thick cock intensifying the heat until Luke felt he was on fire. Groaning, he tried to move his hips, but Adam‟s weight made it impossible, and he had no choice but to do as Adam wanted, take what Adam was willing to give. Luke had been taken by a lot of men in the past. He‟d felt their attempts at control, of dominance, but he‟d never been possessed by them. Not like this. Adam‟s body moved over his with a beauty and grace that Luke could feel in every inch of skin, every muscle, every bone, but it was more than that, because Adam‟s possession went far beyond the physical, far beyond what Luke could feel. Adam was staking his claim, taking what was his, but it wasn‟t just his body Adam was taking. He was also taking Luke‟s heart and soul. And that was when Luke acknowledged what had been happening to him over the past few days. He‟d fallen completely in love with Adam. He couldn‟t deny it, didn‟t want to, and right now could only come to terms with it as Adam made love to his body the way no other man had even come close to doing. Slowly, the depth of each thrust increased, and so did the speed until Adam was pounding hard and fast, each flex of his hips ramming home, the acute angle making sure Luke‟s sweet spot was pegged every time. He was going to come, and
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he was going to come hard and screaming. He grabbed the pillow and stuffed his face into it, poised on the brink of an intensity he could only guess at. Adam groaned above him, his harsh pants hot and heavy in Luke‟s ear. Knowing Adam was close only pushed Luke closer. Body shaking, every muscle now tightening, his fists clenched, Luke begged for it to end, yet he never wanted this to stop, never wanted Adam to stop wanting him, needing him, making love to him. The pressure built in his balls, and his cock felt like it was going to burst. Each roll of Adam‟s hips slammed Luke‟s into the bed, thrusting his cock through the loose fist Adam had around him, slowly sending him out of his mind. Then Adam‟s hand on him squeezed a little, and Luke knew it was the beginning of the end. “Luke, I‟m coming.” The softly spoken words were the catalyst. Luke stiffened and arched his back at the same time Adam drove hard and cried out. Pure rapture exploded along his body in waves that increased with every hard beat of his heart. His cock pulsed and jerked and a flood of cum erupted into Adam‟s hand at the same moment he felt the hot torrent of Adam inside him. And he screamed. With his hands curled into fists, Luke panted and tried to catch his breath, stunned. He‟d never come like that—never so hard, never so powerfully. But then he‟d never been in love, either. A little shocked he lay still a moment, but Adam‟s weight pinning him to the bed started to make breathing a little difficult. He pushed up a little, and Adam slid off, slipping out of him and trailing a wet cock along the back of his leg. After a moment Adam twisted away, then came back to pull Luke into his arms. Luke went willingly, though a thin veil of fear started to wind itself around his heart. He loved Adam. Loved him and knew what a stupid, insane thing that was to do. He‟d started to believe, started to think that Adam could love him back. He‟d started to hope that Adam might love him for who he was and not who he had been. He‟d started to think that maybe they could have a life, a future together. And he‟d been wrong. This morning he‟d been so confident, so sure of himself and his ability to snare Adam and keep him wanting him, and now that had been shattered. He wanted to contribute something to Adam‟s life, but the two things Luke knew he had going for him had just been made useless. Adam had just made love to him with a skill that went far beyond anything Luke had ever experienced. After that, Luke knew he couldn‟t teach Adam anything, and if he was honest with himself, Adam had far better control and stamina than Luke had ever possessed. And the link they had? The images he could give him? Adam didn‟t even want them anymore. Pain flashed through Luke‟s chest at the rejection even as he tried to remember exactly what Adam had said. But it didn‟t matter, did it? He knew it couldn‟t work, had always known it. No matter how much he wanted it to, no matter how much his heart ached, Luke knew he didn‟t deserve Adam or the happiness that loving Adam could give him. He was a fucked-up man with a fucked-
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up past that couldn‟t be changed. He might have wanted to change his future, change the man he was and become someone different, someone to be proud of, but that didn‟t alter what he‟d done. Even if Adam could come to love him, it didn‟t change the fact that if Adam ever found out what had happened, that love would be lost, and any chance of happiness between them would be over. He knew that, and wanting it any other way wasn‟t going to happen. Closing his eyes, Luke ignored the wetness tracking his cheeks and the taste of salt on his lips. He ignored the hard pain in his chest and the feeling of complete hopelessness. There was nothing else he could give Adam, nothing else he could offer, so why would Adam want him? Racking his brain, Luke couldn‟t think of one good reason. Not one.
*** As soon as Adam woke, he knew Luke had gone from the bed. He was disappointed because he‟d wanted to wake up with Luke in his arms, armed with the knowledge that Luke now knew he loved him. He had also hoped that Luke was ready to tell him he loved him back. Maybe it had been too soon and Luke wasn‟t ready, but last night when he‟d made love to Luke again, there had been a definite change in the way Luke had responded to him. A positive change, one that Adam wanted to explore. Needing Luke back in his bed, Adam called out. “Luke?” There was a small sound in the kitchen, loud footsteps approaching; then Luke was standing at the door. “What?” “Come here.” Adam smiled and pulled back the quilt covering his body. His cock was hard against his stomach, the heat of it leeching against his skin. “You got out of bed before I had a chance to say a proper good-morning to you.” Luke stood in the doorway not making a move, and Adam slowly became aware of a faint tension that filled the room. “Is that all you want? Is that all I am to you? Someone to have sex with?” There was a hard edge to Luke‟s voice, which shocked Adam more than the words did. “What?” “I don‟t want this, Adam. I don‟t need to be used. I‟ve had enough of that in my life.” “I‟m not using you! What the hell made you think that?” Adam scooted to the edge of the bed and stood up, confused, stunned. Luke stayed where he was. “You asked me to teach you how to have sex with a man. I‟ve done that. You proved last night you don‟t need me anymore.” Luke turned and walked away, and it took Adam a couple of seconds to realize Luke wasn‟t just walking out of the room—he was walking out of his life. “Luke! Wait!” “Forget it, Adam. Go and find someone else to play with.”
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Horrified, Adam stood frozen. What was going on? What had he said? What had he done to make Luke behave like this? Sudden fear galvanized him, and he ran after Luke, hitting his shoulder on the door frame as he did so. “Luke!” Luke didn‟t reply, and Adam couldn‟t tell where he was until he heard a light sob by the front door. Moving toward him, he reached out, but as he got closer, he felt Luke flinch away. “Luke, what‟s wrong? What‟s going on?” Adam tried to keep his voice even, but he was shaking so much, Luke couldn‟t miss how panicked he was. “I told you.” Luke‟s voice sounded just as tight as his own. “I can‟t do this with you anymore.” “Jesus, Luke. I don‟t understand.” Adam took a step toward Luke, but Luke took a step back. “No, don‟t. Don‟t touch me.” Luke‟s voice cracked, and another sob broke loose. “Luke, please!” Adam took another step toward him, but Luke quickly turned and ran out the front door. Adam was half a pace behind him before he remembered he was naked. Even that wouldn‟t have stopped him, but he heard Luke‟s footsteps running down the stairs at the far end of the balcony. Knowing he couldn‟t go after him, Adam raced for his mobile phone, disoriented. In his panic he smashed his hip into the dining table but ignored the bright flash of pain only to remember he‟d left his mobile on his desk in the classroom. In his haste to leave with Luke yesterday, he‟d forgotten it. “No.” The whispered plea was torn from his heart. What had gone wrong? What possible reason did Luke have for lashing out like that? What the hell had he done to hurt him? Because Luke was definitely hurt and angry, but why? Body shaking, Adam sat down at the edge of the couch. He could hardly breathe, his lungs hurt, his stomach was twisted in a knot, and he felt like he was going to pass out. He tried to think, tried to bring a rational thought to mind, but it was blank. All he felt was pain and fear—a fear so primal he couldn‟t think through it. Only one thing was clear—he had to talk to Luke. Working on automaton, he got up and headed for his bedroom to shower and dress. He needed to get to school, to get to his phone. Several hours later, Adam began to grow frustrated and concerned. Luke didn‟t answer his phone. He‟d tried several times, despair eating at him as each call went unanswered. Struggling between conscience and need, it took all of Adam‟s self-control not to leave the school. He managed it only because his students needed him. He knew Luke needed him too, but Luke was grown man and unfortunately was now going to suffer the consequence of his own actions. But perhaps the time alone would make him realize what he‟d done, make him realize what he‟d said to Adam that morning was wrong, so very wrong. Adam hoped so, because that was all he had right now—hope.
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As his students worked quietly, Adam started to think rationally, clearly. Luke hadn‟t meant what he‟d said, couldn‟t have. There was no way Luke hadn‟t wanted him as much as he wanted Luke, so that meant Luke was torn up about something else, and the only explanation Adam could think of for Luke‟s behavior was that Luke had just realized he loved Adam and didn‟t know what to do about it. Adam only half sympathized. It might have come as a shock to Luke, but that had been no reason to react the way he had. But Adam also realized there was more to it than that. Luke was still hiding something. That morning, Luke hadn‟t allowed Adam to touch him, and Adam suspected it was because there were so many halfformed thoughts going on in Luke‟s head that he was afraid Adam would see what his real reasons were for trying to push him away. Right then, Adam knew he‟d made a terrible mistake. He should have pushed Luke, should have forced him to face whatever had been troubling him, but he‟d held back, worried that Luke would walk away. Well, Luke had walked away, and Adam still didn‟t have a damn clue as to why. “Mr. Thornton?” Adam lifted his head as one of his students touched him lightly on the hand. “Yes, Charlotte?” He smiled and hoped it looked genuine, hoped also that his class hadn‟t picked up on his somber mood. “That man who came yesterday? The one who was holding your hand?” Luke! Trying not to alarm Charlotte, Adam merely nodded. “What about him?” He sounded calm, but Adam knew he was anything but. “Here was here a few minutes ago, standing by the door.” Charlotte‟s words struck Adam‟s chest like a bolt. “He was here?” His heart stuttered, and he felt a dizzy wave hit him. He gripped the edge of the desk, awkwardly aware of how pale he must look as he felt the blood drain from his face. He turned toward the door. “Is he still here?” Adam already knew the answer, but he asked anyway. “No, he left.” Charlotte sounded a little worried, as if she should have told him earlier. “Thank you, Charlotte. He probably saw that we were busy, and he‟ll come back later.” Adam hoped he sounded normal and didn‟t show the fleeting expectation Luke‟s visit gave him. He smiled, but this time it was a real one, full of relief. Luke turning up could only mean one thing—he was sorry about what he‟d said that morning and regretted running off. Now all Adam had to do was find out why he‟d done it. The rest of the day crawled by even slower than it had yesterday. Adam‟s patience wore so thin, and his nerves were drawn so tight he was afraid he‟d snap. He only held it together because he knew he was going to get a chance to sort this mess out.
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Finally the bell rang to indicate the end of the day, and as the last of the school children filed out of the classroom, Adam quickly gathered his things and once again tried to call Luke. Again, Luke didn‟t answer. The call didn‟t even go to message bank. Outside, Adam made his way to the place where Luke had parked his car, just in case. He waited for twenty minutes before giving it up as a lost cause. And anyway, it was embarrassing having to tell several of his students‟ parents and his fellow teachers time and time again that he was fine and just waiting on someone. Stressed, Adam made two phone calls and ten minutes later was sitting in the back of a taxi, Luke‟s address firmly planted in his head. During the half hour it took to get there, Adam‟s stress turned to dread, and by the time the driver told him they had arrived, Adam was ready to throw up. What if he was wrong? What if Luke didn‟t love him? What if Luke really didn‟t want to see him anymore? Adam knew he couldn‟t think like that, but it was so hard when fear ate at all his self-belief. “Are you getting out?” the taxi driver asked. Adam nodded, numb, but he had to do this. He had to find out. He climbed out of the car and with a simple direction from the driver followed a path that led to Luke‟s front door. He had no idea where he was, what the neighborhood was like, and even if Luke was in. He had taken a risk, but it was a risk worth taking. He stood in front of the door, his heart beating so hard he thought it might tear through his rib cage. Mouth dry, hands shaking, it took a lot of physical effort to raise his arm. What if coming here was a big mistake? What if it only pushed Luke further away? But then he remembered the pain in Luke‟s voice, the hurt he hadn‟t been able to hide behind his false anger. Despite only hoping he was right about Luke loving him, he wasn‟t about to take the chance of not doing something about it. He took a deep breath and knocked. Belatedly, he realized he should have checked to see if Luke could tell it was him and refuse to open the door, but before fear could form another cold pit in his stomach, he heard a latch click and the door open. “Adam!” “Hi, Luke.” “What are you doing here?” Adam listened very carefully to Luke‟s voice. There was shock and dismay, but not anger or rejection. “I‟ve come to see you.” “Why?” Now there was fear. “You should already know the answer to that question, but obviously I didn‟t make myself clear enough last night. I love you.” This wasn‟t quite the way Adam had envisioned telling Luke, but if he wanted to get through that door and into Luke‟s arms, he needed a powerful incentive.
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“You can‟t love me.” Luke‟s voice had dropped, and Adam heard Luke turn away. Afraid that Luke was going to slam the door on him, Adam raised his hand. Luke caught it, his fingers warm as they gently curled around Adam‟s wrist. “Don‟t do this to me, Adam, please.” “Do what to you? Love you? It‟s too late for that, Luke.” Luke went to drop his wrist, but Adam used it to move forward, letting Luke unintentionally drag him through the front door. Once inside, Adam closed it and then stood there and waited. Luke was quiet, but Adam could hear him breathing, short labored breaths that told him Luke was scared. Adam stood as still as he could, knowing Luke was watching him and knowing that Luke had to make the first move. “What do you want from me?” “I want you.” “For sex?” The sneer was easy to detect, and Adam bristled. “Don‟t try that on me again, Luke. It won‟t work.” He took a step toward where Luke stood, close enough that he could reach out and touch him. “Will you talk to me, tell me what‟s wrong?” He kept his voice even, calm, though his stomach was still churning. “Nothing‟s wrong.” “So trying to hurt me and storming off this morning was because there was nothing wrong?” Luke dragged in a sharp breath. “I hurt you?” “That was your intention, wasn‟t it?” “No, God, no, I would never do anything to hurt you.” “Then why did you run away from me?” Taking a chance, Adam took another step closer. Luke didn‟t step back, so Adam raised his hand and stroked it along Luke‟s face. Luke made a soft sound at the back of his throat but then pulled away. “Adam, don‟t, please don‟t. I can‟t do this.” “Do what?” Adam didn‟t give Luke a chance to move far. He slid his arm around Luke‟s waist and held him. “Do what, Luke? You need to talk to me.” “You can‟t love me,” Luke said again, but this time there was conviction in his tone that frightened Adam. He took in a deep breath and tried not to lose the small amount of hope that holding Luke was giving him. “Why not?” “You don‟t know me.” Adam lifted both hands to Luke‟s face. “I do know you. You once told me that you thought I saw you more clearly than anyone else. You‟re right. I see what‟s in here.” He moved a hand to Luke‟s chest above his heart. “And I see what‟s in here.” His other hand smoothed over Luke‟s temple.
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“No, Adam. You only see what you want, not what I am.” Adam sighed. He never knew Luke was so stubborn. “Then tell me. Tell me why you think I can‟t love you.” “No.” “Jesus, Luke, you‟re not making this easy on me, are you?” Adam stood back, dropping his hands away. “Okay, answer one question, just one, and I‟ll go if that‟s what you want. I‟ll go, and you‟ll never see me again.” Luke‟s breathing grew shallow again. “What?” he asked, fear making that one word sound desperate. Adam faced Luke and asked the question that would either break his heart or complete it. “Do you love me?” Luke‟s silence was all the answer Adam needed. He smiled. “I love you too.” “I never said anything.” Luke‟s protest only made Adam grin. “You didn‟t need to. Now, are we going to talk?” “Adam, it‟s not going to work.” There was no conviction this time, only confusion. “You really are stubborn, aren‟t you? Well, so am I.” He headed back to the front door where he‟d left his cane, then using it, tapped along the floor checking for large pieces of furniture. When he figured he was at Luke‟s lounge, he sat down. “I‟m not going anywhere until we figure out why you thought it was better to rip my heart out this morning instead of talking to me.” “Fuck, Adam, don‟t, please.” “How do you think I feel? You walk away from me, and you won‟t tell me why. And what you did say was bullshit; I know damn well you‟ve loved every minute we‟ve been together. Haven‟t you?” Adam said it with as much authority as possible, but his stomach felt like he‟d just taken a dive off a cliff. “Yes.” Luke sounded apologetic, and for that Adam was grateful. He hadn‟t wanted to believe there had been any truth to Luke‟s words, but he‟d been worried. Until he heard Luke say the words I love you, Adam wasn‟t really going to be completely at ease. “Then why, Luke? What is it that would make you leave me?” “You don‟t want to know.” “Yes, I do. I need to know. For God‟s sake, Luke, I love you.” “No, you don‟t! You don‟t know the truth about me!” Now they were getting somewhere. “Then tell me,” Adam said softly. When Luke didn‟t immediately answer with another resounding no, Adam waited, hopeful. “If I tell you, you won‟t love me.”
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Adam had never heard such agony in someone‟s voice before, and he couldn‟t stand hearing it in Luke‟s. “Don‟t, Luke, please don‟t.” He started to get up, to go to him, but Luke crashed into his arms. “I can‟t take this anymore. I want you to love me, Adam, but I‟m scared you won‟t. I‟m so fucking scared!” There were tears streaked across Luke‟s face as he clung to him, tears that Adam couldn‟t have foreseen and hated putting there. Adam wrapped his arms around Luke‟s body and held him tight. “I do love you. Fuck, Luke, I‟ve loved you since you first told me my blindness didn‟t matter to you.” Luke gasped. “You swore.” “What?” “You swore. You never swear.” Luke moved back a little, and Adam guessed he was looking into his face. He smiled, albeit sheepishly. “You bring out the worst in me.” “I‟m sorry.” Luke tried to pull away, but Adam wouldn‟t let him. He was never going to let him go. Dragging Luke onto his lap, Adam hugged Luke to him. “You‟re not going anywhere until we talk.” Luke remained still a moment; then he nodded. He leaned against Adam‟s chest, his fingers digging into Adam‟s shirt. He was shaking so hard that Adam began to worry. He stroked down Luke‟s back, holding him, soothing him, trying to tell him that everything was going to be all right. “It‟s okay, Luke. It‟s okay. Just talk to me.” Luke let out his breath on a shaky moan, and Adam felt new tears slip down his face. Then Luke pulled back a little. “I killed a man.”
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Chapter Eleven Luke wasn‟t sure how the hell he got the words out of his mouth. He felt sick and ashamed and afraid about what Adam would think. He steeled himself for Adam‟s rejection and was surprised when it didn‟t come. All Adam did was pale slightly and take a deep breath. Luke held his in fear until Adam released his breath slowly, and Luke thought it was safe to breathe again. “Tell me,” Adam said softly. Luke tried to let go of the shame and guilt that had been plaguing him for six months, tried to let go of the need to keep what he‟d done hidden, but it was hard, painfully hard, almost impossible, because he knew as soon as he confessed, he could lose Adam forever. “Luke, I‟m not going to stop loving you.” Luke felt his tears well up again and tried to keep them at bay. He felt like an idiot but couldn‟t help it. He didn‟t want to lose Adam. It already hurt so much just knowing it was a possibility. He expected Adam to say something again, and when he didn‟t he risked a look at him. Adam‟s face was trained on him, and though he looked grave, he didn‟t look ready to condemn. Luke closed his eyes, knowing he had to say something because though there was a likelihood of losing Adam if he did tell him, there was a bigger chance of losing him if he didn‟t. Adam would never trust him, never accept that Luke couldn‟t be open and honest with him. It would be a chasm between them that nothing could bridge and Luke knew this would be his only chance to explain himself. Aware of the way Adam held him, his hands soothing over his back and arm, tracing his tattoo, Luke took a deep breath. “I got fired from my job,” he started, terrified but resigned. “Why?” “I‟d only been with them three months, but after the first month I suspected them of being a chop shop. I didn‟t get involved, but I didn‟t rally them to the cops either. It wasn‟t the best situation, but I was in my final year of my apprenticeship and only had six months to go. I didn‟t want to ruin any chance of my finishing. But then the owner tried to give me a job I knew was illegal—stripping down an engine that was stolen and putting it back together using parts that had no identification marks. I refused.” Luke looked up at Adam, hoping he would understand what happened next. Adam squeezed his arm in encouragement. Luke needed it; he needed Adam‟s strength, needed his support. Fuck, he just needed him.
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He took another deep breath, forcing himself to go on with the story. “The owner fired me and wouldn‟t give me my tools. Said everything on the premises belonged to him. We had a huge argument, and Jim, the owner, made some threats, but I didn‟t think he‟d meant them, so that night I broke in and tried to get them back. They were worth a lot of money, but it wasn‟t just that. If I wanted to finish my apprenticeship, I needed them.” “That means a lot to you, doesn‟t it?” “Yes. It means I‟ve done something with my life and not just wasted it.” Could Adam know now much that meant to him, to be able to hold his head up and know he was worth something? The look on Adam‟s face told him that maybe he did. “And what happened when you broke in?” Adam‟s body was relaxed, his voice calm. Luke was tense, and he knew his voice shook, but cocooned within the safety of Adam‟s arms, he also knew he could tell the rest of it. “The place was pitch-black, but I knew where my tools were kept, so I managed to make my way over to them. I didn‟t hear anything, didn‟t know there was anyone else in there with me. Apparently Jim guessed I would come back for them. He was waiting for me.” Luke paused, careful to keep any inflection from his voice. “The first blow broke my arm; the second glanced off my head. I was knocked unconscious. Jim probably thought I was dead.” Adam‟s hands had stilled, and Luke could tell Adam was furious. Luke risked a look up at him. Adam had closed his eyes, and his mouth was a thin line. “Shit, I‟m sorry,” Luke said, realizing how bad that might have sounded, forgetting his own pain for the moment. Adam shook his head and then ran his hands into Luke‟s hair, stroking softly. “Go on.” Luke nodded just wanting to get it over and done with, but careful now with what he said. “He started a fire. I came to just before the whole place went up in flames. I headed toward the office, hoping to get to a phone, but he was in there, throwing the files in the middle of the floor. He saw me and came after me with the baseball bat again, but he tripped and fell.” Luke bit his lip and tried not to remember what happened next, but it was printed indelibly on his memory. Adam gasped and his fingers stilled. “Oh God, Luke.” Too late, Luke realized he‟d imagined the red-hot flames again, remembered how they‟d seemed to reach up and grab hold of Jim, how they‟d curled around him and had begun to consume him. And Adam had just seen it with him. “I‟m sorry,” Luke said again. He wouldn‟t have wished that image on anyone, especially not Adam. Maybe that was why Adam didn‟t want his images anymore, because Luke couldn‟t control them. “It‟s okay.” Adam started stroking him again, his touch intending to reassure. “I couldn‟t save him.” “But you tried.” Adam wasn‟t asking him. “Yeah, I tried,” he admitted.
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“And the burns on your body were from trying to save him.” There was no point in denying it. “Yes.” Luke felt the memory of those burns, not deep, but enough, and he screwed his eyes up tight, careful not to think of them visually. “But I failed. He died anyway.” “By his own hand, Luke.” “But if I hadn‟t been there, he wouldn‟t have started the fire.” “You can‟t know that. It might have been his intention all along. He was obviously trying to destroy the evidence.” “Only because he thought I was going to tell the cops.” “You really believe that, don‟t you? For God‟s sake, Luke, he tried to kill you!” “That still doesn‟t make what happened any easier.” Adam‟s arms tightened around him. “I know that, but you‟re not to blame.” Luke wanted to believe Adam, but the nightmares that still haunted his dreams wouldn‟t let him. He let Adam hold him, let himself be lulled into thinking that Adam still wanted to hold him. It wouldn‟t last long, not once Adam finally understood that Luke‟s actions had ultimately killed a man. When Adam loosened his hold, Luke tensed, ready for the rejection and already feeling the raw pain of it. “Luke.” Adam turned him around so he was facing him. Luke closed his eyes again because he didn‟t want to see the look on Adam‟s face as he told him he didn‟t want him anymore, so he wasn‟t expecting the kiss that settled on his mouth. Surprised, he nearly pulled back, but Adam‟s hand gripped the back of his head. The kiss was soft and filled with so much tenderness that Luke thought his heart would burst. Fresh tears tracked down his face, and as they reached his lips, Adam released him. “Baby, don‟t cry. Please don‟t cry.” Adam pulled him back into his arms. “I told you I won‟t stop loving you. Nothing could make me stop loving you.” God, Luke wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe so much. “But what about what I did? How could you forgive me for that?” “There‟s nothing to forgive, Luke. You didn‟t do anything wrong. God, I don‟t even know why they gave you community service.” “It was for breaking and entering.” Adam‟s lips compressed in anger. “They were assholes.” “But—” “No, Luke. Look at me. Listen to me. You did nothing wrong! The man tried to kill you, not once, but twice, and then you tried to save his life.” Adam took a deep breath and released it in a rush. “Luke, trust me. What you did was honorable and nothing to be ashamed of. I don‟t believe you think that either, or you wouldn‟t have got your tattoo, and you wouldn‟t have started to believe in a future for yourself. And you wouldn‟t have let me through your door.” Adam‟s fingers stroked though
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his hair again. “And you wouldn‟t have told me. But you did, Luke. You told me, and you knew how I would react.” Luke searched Adam‟s face and dared to hope. “You still love me?” “God, yes!” Adam‟s mouth descended on his again, but this time it was passionate and desperate. Luke responded as he would always respond. He kissed Adam back with an abandon that was borne of both relief and need. He couldn‟t believe it. Adam loved him. And he didn‟t blame him. He pulled away from the kiss. “Say it again. Say you love me.” Adam broke into a smile. “You obviously don‟t remember, but I told you last night I loved you,” Adam said. “You did? When?” Luke frowned. Adam hadn‟t told him. He would have remembered. Not that it would have made a difference, not without Adam knowing everything. “You must have fallen asleep, but I said, „Tu sei l’uomo del mio cuore.‟” Luke recognized the language as Italian, but he had no idea what it meant. At his silence, Adam smiled. “You are the man of my heart,” Adam explained. “Really?” Adam slid his thumb over Luke‟s lower lip, the gentle touch as much a possessive claim as a caress. “Yes. And do you know why? It‟s because you‟re kind and honest and generous. You have integrity, you make me laugh, you get me to do things I would never have done without you, and you are a seriously sexy man.” Adam leaned in to kiss him again, but Luke pulled back. “Adam…” He stopped, suddenly anxious. Adam said he had integrity, but he didn‟t know about what he‟d done yesterday, about what he‟d done to get Adam to want him. Guilt, once more, ate at him. He stared into Adam‟s eyes, worried that Adam wouldn‟t like what he had to tell him, but he was through with hiding things from Adam, and though this was going to hurt, he knew he had to get it off his chest. “Yesterday, when I showed you your students‟ faces, I did it because I wanted you to need me.” “I do need you.” “No, I mean I tried to use the link we had to get you to believe you couldn‟t do without me. I wanted you to depend on me.” God, it sounded so stupid now that he said it, but he‟d been at a loss about what else to do. Afraid about what Adam would say, Luke carefully watched his face. Adam‟s eyes darkened, and a light frown formed on his brow. “I can’t do without you, but the images have got nothing to do with how I feel. You are all I need, Luke. Just you. I don‟t need anything else.”
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Luke‟s stomach clenched as he looked into Adam‟s eyes. “So you don‟t want them anymore?” Adam‟s frown deepened. “Don‟t want what anymore?” “The images. I don‟t want to stop giving them to you. I promise to be more careful, but don‟t take that away from me. Please, Adam.” Adam suddenly looked confused. “What are you going on about? What made you think I want you to stop giving them to me?” “Last night you said not to.” As soon as he said it, Luke knew he‟d gotten it wrong. “Oh, baby, I meant for you not to give me one then. I was so turned on, so close to coming, but I wanted to make it last. I wanted to give you as much pleasure as I could, and I knew that if you were to start putting erotic images in my head, then I wasn‟t going to hold off.” Adam‟s fingers threaded through his hair, holding him. “Don‟t tell me you thought I didn‟t want them.” Feeling like the biggest fool ever, Luke nodded, but he didn‟t say anything. He didn‟t want to sound like an idiot too. Adam sighed and brought their mouths together for a brief kiss. “I do want them. Believe me. I want everything and anything you can give me.” “I don‟t have anything else to give you.” Luke hated to admit it, but he didn‟t want to pretend he was something he wasn‟t. “Don‟t say that. You have so much, Luke.” Adam‟s fingers gripped tighter in his hair. “Besides your imagination, you have your voice, your smile, your smell, your touch, your taste. Everything, Luke. Everything you are is special to me. Everything you do makes me want you more.” Luke swallowed past the lump in his throat. “You mean that?” “God, I really made a mess of this, didn‟t I? I should have told you earlier how I felt. Instead I was afraid it was too soon, afraid you wouldn‟t believe me.” Adam‟s jaw clenched, and Luke could see he was angry, but his anger was directed at himself, not at Luke. He touched Adam‟s face with the tips of his fingers, knowing this was his fault. In trying not to hurt Adam, he‟d done the opposite. “I don‟t think I would have,” he admitted, hoping to assuage Adam‟s frustration. “I was hiding so much—hiding the past from you, hiding the truth from myself. I wanted you to love me, Adam, but I was afraid you wouldn‟t, and then I was afraid you would.” “You didn‟t want me to love you?” The pain in Adam‟s eyes made Luke feel sick. He quickly shook his head. “I didn‟t want to hurt you. If you loved me, then found out what I‟d done…” Luke couldn‟t continue, couldn‟t keep reminding himself that because of his stupidity, he‟d almost lost Adam. “I didn‟t want to hurt you,” he repeated. “The only thing that hurt was you hiding the truth from me. It hurt that you didn‟t trust me.”
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“I‟m sorry,” Luke said again, realizing that he was really going to have to make it up to Adam. Adam drew him back in for another kiss, just the tiniest glide of lips over lips. “I wouldn‟t have walked away. That‟s what you were afraid of, wasn‟t it?” Luke nodded and tightened his grip around Adam‟s neck. “I couldn‟t bear the idea of losing you.” Adam sighed. “I couldn‟t bear losing you, either.” Adam‟s arms came around him and hugged him close, and that was when Luke realized something. “You wouldn‟t have let me leave, would you?” Adam‟s gorgeous eyes smiled at him, and Luke‟s stomach did a little flip. “No. Never.” Luke smiled back and leaned into Adam‟s warm body. He felt secure in Adam‟s arms, but a little unsure about what was to follow. Though it was obvious Adam wanted to continue their relationship, Luke didn‟t know how far Adam wanted to take it. He searched Adam‟s face, hoping for an answer. “So can I come and see you every day?” he asked. He sounded like a sap but didn‟t care. He‟d already gotten used to seeing Adam, talking to him, touching him; he didn‟t think he could go without Adam anymore. “I damn well hope so, considering you‟re going to come and live with me.” Luke pulled back and stared at Adam in astonishment. “Live with you? You serious?” “Of course. What did you think I wanted to do, date you?” “I didn‟t really think about it. You really want me to live with you? What if I make a mess? You didn‟t want anyone leaving their stuff everywhere, remember?” “Then you can clean it up. And I only said that because I didn‟t want you to know I was going to pursue you. Right from the beginning I wanted you. I was just biding my time trying to figure out a way to make you stay.” “And I was trying to figure out how to get you to ask me not to go.” Adam laughed, and Luke finally started to believe this might actually be happening. “You sure about this?” “Luke, you‟re not going to change my mind.” Adam suddenly frowned. “Unless you don‟t want to live with me.” “I do!” Luke quickly reached out to smooth Adam‟s frown away. “I do,” he repeated. “Then stop arguing about it.” “Sorry.” Luke bit his lip. He wasn‟t going to doubt any more. He could see Adam meant every word he said, and Luke didn‟t want to spoil the new certainty that Adam honestly loved him. Adam‟s mouth curled into a soft grin, and he pulled Luke toward him. When their lips met, Luke felt the sudden charge of desire. He groaned, and Adam kissed
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him harder, the hands at the back of his head holding him tighter. Luke twisted his body and straddled himself over Adam‟s lap, pressing against him and wrapping his arms around Adam‟s neck. Adam grew hard beneath him, and Luke automatically rubbed up against the thickening erection. Adam groaned but then pulled away, his breathing already labored, and as Luke watched, Adam took a deep breath and smiled, although it was strained. “If you‟d like, you can come back to my place tonight,” he said, but his body was tense, awkward. Luke tried to read his face, unsure what was going on. Adam wanted him— that was obvious by the stiff cock wedged between them—but he was holding back. Why? And then it dawned. “Oh, no! Adam, I didn‟t mean what I said this morning!” “I know you didn‟t, but I want to make sure you don‟t feel like I‟m taking advantage of you.” “You‟re not. I just panicked.” Panicked wasn‟t the word. He hadn‟t known what to do, hadn‟t known how to face Adam feeling the way he did, and in defense he‟d lashed out in the cruelest way possible, and then he‟d been so mortified by what he‟d done he couldn‟t even face up to apologizing. He‟d tried when he‟d gone to the school that afternoon. He‟d tried, but he couldn‟t do it. He couldn‟t face what he thought would be Adam‟s condemnation. He‟d been so wrong, he realized now, so wrong about everything. “It‟s okay.” “No, it‟s not okay. I was an asshole, but when I realized I was in love with you, I was scared of getting hurt. I‟m so sorry.” Adam grinned, a light shining in his eyes that lit up his whole face. “Do you want to say that again?” he asked. “I‟m sorry?” “No, back up a bit.” “I was scared of getting hurt?” “No, a bit more.” Luke suddenly realized what Adam meant. “I‟m in love with you?” Adam‟s grin deepened, and the little dimple on his left cheek deepened with it. “Yeah, that bit.” Luke slid his hands over Adam‟s shoulders and leaned in, putting his face alongside Adam‟s. “I love you. And I love us being together.” “So I‟m not taking advantage of you?” Luke leaned back. “Shit no! Last night I came so hard I nearly passed out.” “Good. Then where is your bed?” Luke grinned, loving the way Adam so easily took control. “You‟re on it.” “You sleep on the lounge?”
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“It‟s a pullout. This is only a tiny bed-sit you‟re in.” Luke didn‟t bother showing Adam what his room looked like; it was four walls with a lounge and a television. Adam‟s expression was hot as he cupped Luke‟s ass and pulled him tighter, his erection hard against Luke‟s cock, which was now filling rapidly. “It‟ll have to do.” Luke had never had sex on it, and it wasn‟t really comfortable, but if he was with Adam, he didn‟t care where they made love. And that was when Luke made the distinction. With anyone else it had been sex. With Adam it was making love. He smiled as Adam flipped him onto his back, and then groaned as Adam palmed the front of his crotch. “Hard and fast, or slow and easy?” Adam asked as he massaged with just the right pressure. “Hard and fast,” Luke gasped. He didn‟t think he could handle slow. “Then get the lube.” Luke stretched and got the bottle from under the pullout where he kept it for his own self-pleasure. Adam had undone Luke‟s jeans and had already gotten them halfway down his legs. Pulling them off completely, Luke stripped out of his T-shirt. Naked, he watched as Adam started pulling off his own clothes. “Lube up, Luke. I need you now.” Luke quickly complied, slicking up his fingers and opening his body to accept Adam‟s engorged cock. He worked fast, and while he stretched his hole, Adam gripped both their cocks and started a quick rhythm that nearly undid him. He thrust into Adam‟s hand and groaned. “Hurry up, Luke.” Adam looked desperate, and Luke knew exactly how he felt. He didn‟t think he‟d get this again. He didn‟t think he‟d ever have Adam in his arms again, and that close reality was something he wanted to forget. He needed this; he needed to know Adam still wanted him, and he needed to prove he wanted Adam and that he was sorry he‟d nearly lost them a chance at happiness. “I‟m ready.” He was, only just, but he wasn‟t going to wait any longer. “Where are the condoms?” Luke stilled and gazed into Adam‟s beautiful aqua eyes. There was love in there, a love so powerful and deep it took his breath away. He didn‟t know why he‟d ever questioned it, and he knew from then on he‟d never question it again. “I don‟t want one.” He‟d never said it before, never done it before, but with Adam it was right. Adam‟s smile was the biggest he‟d ever seen it. “You amaze me, you know that?” Adam said as he put himself between Luke‟s spread thighs. “Why?” “Because.” Adam cradled both sides of Luke‟s head. “You want to be mine.” Adam‟s. Luke liked the sound of that, and he smiled. “Yeah, I‟m yours.” He stretched up to give Adam a kiss, then stopped. “Oh…” Luke searched Adam‟s eyes again. “You told me that, didn‟t you?”
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Adam nodded. “And I told you that I was yours.” Luke groaned as he remembered the words Adam had said to him. Once again, Luke realized what an idiot he‟d been, and wished he‟d understood what Adam had meant. “I‟m sorry.” “No, Luke. I should have made my intentions clearer. I should have told you I loved you instead of pussyfooting around.” He sighed, the sound sorrowful. “From now on, can we tell each other how we feel instead of hiding it?” Luke nodded, then grinned. “What if I‟m randy and I want you to fuck me?” Adam laughed, the sound light and easy. “That‟s definitely something I want to know about.” “Well, Adam. I‟m randy and—” The rest of his sentence was cut off as Adam grinned and slowly sank into him. “Oh God, that‟s beautiful. It feels like sliding into a hot velvet glove.” Adam‟s face contorted as he pushed himself deep. He came up on his knees and hooked his arms around Luke‟s legs. Luke sucked in a breath as he felt the silky glide. “Shit, it‟s never felt like this before,” he said as he took every inch Adam had to give him. “Bad or good?” “Good, definitely good.” Adam‟s mouth twisted into a smile. “It‟s only gonna get better,” he said, pulling out slowly. “You said fast, Adam,” Luke complained, though the slow pull was exquisite. “Anything you want, baby.” Adam pushed Luke‟s legs farther back, and Luke felt himself being stretched open even more. For a moment he was struck by the beauty of Adam poised above him, his body hard and ready, muscles bunched, skin gleaming. But it wasn‟t his external looks that mattered; it was what was inside, and inside, Adam was the most beautiful man in the world. “I love you,” Luke said, curling his hands around Adam‟s arms and holding on. Adam grinned. “Tell me that in a minute after I‟ve finished pounding your ass into the ground.” Then Adam drove into him, pinning him into the hard base at his back and keeping him there. Sensations slammed into Luke as fast as Adam‟s body. Luke closed his eyes but quickly opened them again when he heard Adam mumble something. “Yes, do that!” Adam‟s harsh command caught Luke by surprise. “Do what?” “What you just imagined. Jack yourself off, hard.” Luke reached for his dick, fingers and palm gripping tight.
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“Do it so I can feel it,” Adam instructed, his hips still pistoning with the intent to make this short and quick. Luke didn‟t need to hide his grin, but he held back his laughter. Pulling on the hard length of his cock, Luke started up a rhythm that matched Adam‟s hard thrusts. His arm moved quickly, bringing him closer to the edge Adam was already on. Hot, hard, fast, and intense, it was exactly as Luke wanted, but as Adam‟s thick length filled him, took him, possessed him he knew that this time he was loved, and the possession was only part of that love. Luke arched up to meet Adam‟s thrusts, desperate now to reach a climax, to put himself on the same level Adam had reached. “Come with me.” Adam‟s plea wrenched at Luke‟s body, pushing him that final needed inch. “Fuck yes.” Adam stiffened, and Luke felt the wet ejaculation deep inside at the same moment the heat that had built up in his balls exploded in a powerful release. He cried out, unable to help the sharp impulse to clamp down on the hot insertion, shaking as he realized the implication. He had fully given himself to Adam, and there was no going back. Adam seemed to realize the same thing, because he closed his eyes, looking as stunned as Luke felt. Luke stroked up Adam‟s chest, resting his hand over Adam‟s heart. It was beating strong and fast, beating for him because that heart belonged to him now. If only he‟d known it before. If only he‟d believed in himself and in Adam. “Can I say it again?” “Please,” Adam said, opening his eyes and facing him. “I love you.” “And I love you, always.”
*** “Is that all you want to bring?” Adam hefted a box into his arms and followed Luke to his car. “That‟s all I‟ve got—just a few CD‟s, books, and my clothes.” “What about the rest?” “The landlord said he was happy for me to leave the furniture, which I didn‟t want, and all the other stuff I‟ve already taken to a charity shop.” “So you‟re moving in with nothing more than a couple of boxes?” “I don‟t want to clutter your place up.” “Our place, Luke. Remember that. It‟s yours now too.” Adam had been surprised when Luke had offered him rent, and it had taken him a while to make Luke understand that he didn‟t want anything from Luke except Luke himself. “So, what books have you got?” he asked as he placed the box in the backseat. “They‟re mechanical textbooks.”
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“What about your tools?” Luke slammed the car door a little too hard. “They didn‟t survive the fire.” “Oh.” Adam turned his face away so Luke wouldn‟t see his smile. It hadn‟t been easy keeping a secret from Luke. Thankfully he wouldn‟t have to keep it for too much longer. He climbed into the car and waited until Luke fired up the engine and started on the road to home before letting a little bit of his secret out. “So, are you going to buy some more?” Luke groaned. “You know, don‟t you?” he said. Adam grinned. “Yep.” “Jackie told you.” “She didn‟t mean to. It slipped out. She doesn‟t know we‟re together and didn‟t associate any importance in telling me you‟d got a job,” Adam explained. “I wanted to tell you tonight. I wanted it to be a surprise.” Luke sounded upset, so Adam reached over and laid a hand on his thigh. “It is a surprise, a nice one. When do you start?” “Next week. But I have to do my whole last year again.” “That‟s okay, though, isn‟t it?” “Yeah. I was lucky they gave me a chance.” “Luck had nothing to do with it. Jackie told me you‟d gone to eight interviews before you finally got someone to take you on to finish your final year. That wasn‟t luck, Luke. That was persistence and determination.” Adam turned to face Luke, so he would know how proud he was of him. “You‟d started looking for a job on Monday, didn‟t you? Before I told you I loved you.” He felt Luke turn to glance at him. “Yeah. I‟d already made up my mind to stay. Stupid, I know, but I thought that if I had a job, you might come to respect me, and then—I don‟t know—you could come to love me.” “Oh, Luke.” Adam squeezed Luke‟s thigh. “You already had my respect and my love.” “But I didn‟t know that. And then I got hung up on my past and figured out I was being an idiot even thinking you could love me.” “You know now, though, don‟t you?” Luke placed his hand on top of Adam‟s. “Yeah, I know now.” Luke‟s fingers curled into his. It was something he did when he was happy. Adam sat back, turning his face so Luke wouldn‟t see him smiling again. “Did I tell you there‟s a garage that comes with the apartment?” “A garage? No.” “You can put your car in there.” “Okay.” Luke sounded puzzled, and Adam bit his lip. And he had to keep biting it to stop from blurting out the surprise he‟d been holding back since that morning.
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He wasn‟t any good at this. God help him when it came to Luke‟s birthday or Christmas. When he felt the final turn, which brought them to the gated apartment complex, Adam‟s stomach was twisted in knots. He tried to hide his shaking hands as he got out of the car and waited for Luke by stuffing them into his jeans pockets. Luke was going to notice, but Adam didn‟t have a choice. As Luke neared, Adam tried for a smile. “Shall I show you the garage?” he asked. “Well, yeah, if you want.” Luke wasn‟t just puzzled now; he was suspicious. “It‟s number three.” Adam pulled his hand free of his jeans so Luke could lead him, thankful he‟d stopped shaking, though his stomach was still home to a million butterflies. Luke led him toward the row of garages at the far end of the complex, and with each step he took, Adam felt his nervousness grow. “Adam?” “Yes.” “You‟re hurting my hand.” “Oh, sorry.” Adam loosened his grip but didn‟t let go. They stopped, and Luke turned to him, waiting. Adam fished into his jeans and drew out a key, passing it to Luke. “Open it.” Luke‟s fingers brushed his as he took the key, the touch electric, but every time they touched, he felt the same tingle, the same awareness. It was something Adam knew he would never fail to be surprised at or tire of. “You going to tell me what‟s going on?” Luke asked. “Open it.” Adam repeated. He heard Luke turn the key into the lock and push up the roller door. Then there was silence. Knowing Luke well enough, Adam gave him a few seconds. Then his need to hear Luke say something prompted him. “What do you think?” “I‟ll pay you back.” “No, you won‟t, it‟s a gift.” “Adam, tools like this cost a fortune.” Adam smiled. “Depends on what you consider a fortune. Your happiness is priceless, and I‟d give anything to see that.” He squeezed Luke‟s hand. “Show me what you‟ve got. I have no idea what was delivered.” “You bought this over the Net?” “Only way I can shop, and in secret.” Adam expected Luke to draw him farther into the garage where the tools sat. He didn‟t expect to have Luke launch himself at him and nearly get knocked to the floor. A mouth crashed onto his, and Adam ended up being thoroughly kissed. He wrapped his arms around Luke‟s body and held on to him. When Luke pulled back, Adam grinned. “If I knew you were going to react like this, I would have shown you earlier.”
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Luke moved back into his arms, this time more gently. “No, this was perfect. You really want me to have these?” “They‟re no good to me,” Adam reminded him. “Come on.” He pulled on Luke‟s hand, and Luke led him to the back of the garage where the tools had been left. Adam wasn‟t actually interested in the tools themselves, just Luke‟s reaction to them, and by the images Luke kept sending him, voluntary and otherwise, Adam knew Luke was pleased. “You like them?” he asked unnecessarily. “I love them, and I don‟t know how to thank you.” “Finish your apprenticeship, and that will be thanks enough.” Luke hugged him and lifted his face. Adam bent to kiss him and pulled Luke closer. “Love you,” he said against Luke‟s mouth. “I know. Love you too.” Adam smiled. “Want to prove it?” Luke laughed. “You are both insatiable and wicked.” “It‟s been four hours since we last made love,” Adam complained. “Then let‟s go home.” Luke just moved free when Adam‟s mobile phone started to ring. Pulling it out of his jeans, Adam answered it. “Adam, it‟s Michael.” “Hi, what‟s up?” “Is Luke there with you?” “Yes.” Adam had told Michael that Luke had agreed to move in with him, and he knew Michael was happy for him, for them both. “His phone‟s going to ring. Tell him to answer it.” “What‟s going on?” “I found his sisters.” “You found…” Just then Luke‟s mobile rang, and he heard Luke fish it out of his jeans. “Hello?” Before Luke could say any more or Adam could warn him, there was an ear-splitting scream from the other end of Luke‟s phone. “Shit!” Luke pulled it from his ear, and Adam could detect the babble of a female voice. “Hello, who is this?” Luke tried again, and Adam could imagine the puzzled look on Luke‟s face. He grabbed his arm and pulled him close just as he heard the answer. “It‟s Maria! Luke, it‟s your sister!” “Oh my God! Maria!” Luke‟s voice rose, and Adam was satisfied to hear complete awe and delight. He let go of Luke‟s arm and took a step back, intending to give Luke some space, but Luke clutched at him. “It‟s Maria,” he said. “I know, baby. Talk to her.” This time when he moved away, Luke didn‟t stop him. He listened for a few minutes, and when Luke seemed engrossed, he slipped
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away and made his way to the apartment. Pulling out his phone he dialed his brother. “Michael, I love you.” “That‟s what a brother is for. What did Luke say?” “He‟s still taking to Maria. I‟ll get him to ring you when he‟s finished.” “No need. Just give him my best.” “Okay, and Michael, thank you.” “You‟re welcome.” Michael hung up, and Adam waited for Luke to come home. He didn‟t have to wait too long before Luke burst through the door. “Adam! I spoke to Maria and Theresa. They both live in Queensland. They want to see me. They‟re coming down next week. Michael found them. I can‟t believe it!” Adam smiled, listening to Luke, listening to the excitement in his voice. “They want to see me,” Luke repeated. “So they should.” “I asked them to come down. You don‟t mind, do you? I know I should have asked you first, but I didn‟t think you‟d mind.” “Of course I don‟t mind. They can use the spare room.” “Oh.” Luke suddenly went quiet. “What?” “I didn‟t tell them about us.” “Oh.” Adam wasn‟t sure if that would be a problem. Michael had accepted that Adam was gay, and it hadn‟t been an issue for them, but Luke had not had any contact with his sisters for twelve years, and he would have no idea what their thoughts or feelings would be. “Well, maybe you can tell them we‟re just flatmates, and you can sleep on the lounge and pretend they‟re sleeping in your room,” Adam suggested. “No way! If they can‟t accept us, that‟s their problem. As much as I love them, I love you more, and there is no way I‟m hiding that. I‟m not hiding anything ever again. I‟m done with that.” Luke‟s emphasis was accompanied by Luke sliding up against Adam on the lounge and his arms coming around him. “And I‟m definitely not hiding what we have, Adam. You mean too much to me.” Adam‟s response was to hug Luke to him. “Nice to hear it.” “I mean it,” Luke pushed. “I‟m still waiting for you to prove it.” The delighted laugh from Luke made Adam smile. “You still want to make love?” Luke asked. “Definitely. Especially after the image you‟ve just sent me.” Luke‟s laugh this time was corrupt. “Come to bed. I‟ll show you something even better.”
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*** Luke thought he was going to be sick. His stomach was rolling, and he had a headache. Tension, nerves, excitement. He knew damn well what was wrong with him and why, but he couldn‟t stop the urge to want to puke or the need to cling to Adam‟s arm. “It‟ll be fine, Luke.” “What if they don‟t like me?” Adam sighed and pried his fingers loose. “They‟ll love you.” “Yeah, but what if they don‟t like me?” “Baby, we‟ve been over this a dozen times. They‟re going to like you. I like you. Michael likes you. You‟re a likable person.” “Okay.” Luke looked up into Adam‟s face. Adam was smiling, smirking actually, his aqua eyes glittering with amusement. “You think this is funny, don‟t you?” “No, not funny. I know how you feel, but I know the second you see them you‟ll be fine. And then I‟ll be able to say I told you so.” Luke looked at his watch. The plane had landed ten minutes ago, so they should be here any minute, but what if he didn‟t recognize them? What if he missed them? “Luke?” Luke looked up. Two women stood before him, both beautiful, both smiling. They looked like his mother, their mother. Petite, black hair streaming to their waists, dark brown eyes looking expectant, hopeful. They took his breath away, and every reasonable thought he had in his head. He stared, not sure what to say, not sure what to do. When Maria turned to Theresa and whispered something to her, Theresa giggled. The sound was so like the ones he remembered from years ago that it broke something in Luke. He finally nodded, throat closed tight, eyes tearing up. They both squealed in unison and threw themselves at him, and suddenly Luke found himself holding on to his sisters as if there was no tomorrow. Twelve years since he‟d seen them, held them, twelve hard years where he thought he might never see them again. He cried and didn‟t care if they thought he was a sissy, but they were crying too and holding on to him just as hard. He kept repeating their names, over and over again, unable to believe it, unable to trust the warm bodies pressing close to him as if he was an anchor in their world. It was only after several minutes that he remembered Adam. He quickly pulled loose and grabbed Adam‟s hand, drawing him into the group. “Adam, this is Maria and Theresa,” he said while quickly sending Adam an image, watching as Adam smiled and nodded. Then Luke saw Maria glance at the two of them, at the way Luke was holding Adam‟s hand. He‟d warned Adam he was going to tell them straightaway, warned him also that if they didn‟t immediately accept, he was prepared to send them back on the
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next plane out. As much as he wanted to be with his sisters, he loved Adam too much to let even his family come between them. “Adam‟s blind,” Luke said, but he wasn‟t explaining away his grasp on Adam‟s hand, and by the look on Maria‟s face, she understood. She nudged Theresa, who had also noticed. “Explains why he always played with our dolls,” Theresa said, a grin on her face. “I did not! I like cars!” Instantly Luke fell into the pattern of teasing they always shared as children, the two girls ganging up on him as the only boy, the fact that he was older than them, bigger and stronger not seeming to make an iota of difference, not then and not now. He loved them, and they loved him, and that wasn‟t going to change. He pulled them both back into his arms, holding back his tears this time but not how he felt.
*** The weekend went way too fast for Luke, yet he wasn‟t sorry when he saw his sisters off on Sunday evening. They were high maintenance. Enthusiastic, loud, boisterous, they had him and Adam exhausted by the end of the two days. “When are they coming again?” Adam asked him once they were back home, the drive in the car deliberately silent, as it was the only quiet time they‟d had since Maria and Theresa had turned up. “I didn‟t make plans, but loosely in about another month.” “They‟re going to kill us.” Adam‟s unnerved expression matched his own, and Luke laughed. “They‟re a handful, aren‟t they?” Adam nodded, but then he smiled. “They‟re a lot like you.” “Me? I don‟t squeal fifteen times a day and demand to know everything that‟s going on.” “True, but you have the same enthusiasm for life that‟s addictive.” “I didn‟t used to. That‟s only come out since I met you.” Luke smiled; his whole life, his whole outlook on life, had changed since he‟d met Adam. “But it was always there. Suppressed maybe, but always there.” Adam slid his hand up Luke‟s arm, his fingers warm, his touch soft. “You‟ve changed my life too, Luke.” Luke wasn‟t surprised that Adam knew what he was thinking. Half the time Adam seemed to be in his head even when Luke wasn‟t sending him images. “They liked you,” Luke commented. “More importantly, they liked you.” “You going to say I told you so, now?” “Oh, definitely.” Adam grinned, and Luke slumped against Adam‟s chest, delighted as Adam‟s arms automatically came around him.
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“Care to tell me in bed?” Kissing up Adam‟s throat, Luke moved to slide over Adam‟s lap. He loved this, loved being with Adam, loved the fact that Adam wanted to be with him. He started undoing Adam‟s shirt, sliding his hands down Adam‟s chest as it was revealed. “Oh. Do you really want to try that?” Adam sucked in a sharp breath as Luke bit him. Luke hadn‟t been able to help sending Adam an image of what he‟d wanted to do all day. Since his sisters had arrived, they hadn‟t had any time to themselves. Now, they were completely alone, and Luke couldn‟t wait any longer. “Turning you on?” “Shit, yes.” “Good.” Luke climbed off Adam‟s lap and started toward the bedroom. “I‟m going to be naked in about ten seconds and lubed up in about a minute. You‟d better be behind me.” Luke managed to make the bedroom only a couple of seconds before Adam, and it was Adam who opened Luke, his fingers working fast, readying him. Luke lay on his side, Adam curved around his back. When he was ready Adam pulled Luke closer and replaced his fingers with his cock, which slid deep inside. Luke loved the thickness that filled him, laid claim to him, and he shuddered, closing his eyes as Adam curled his arms around Luke‟s body and just held him, not moving. Adam nuzzled the back of his neck, his lips coaxing a moan from Luke‟s throat. Luke reached back and slid his hand over Adam‟s thigh. “Touch me,” he said. Adam complied, sucking on his shoulder while his hand drifted down over Luke‟s chest, skimming across his nipples before sliding lower to seize his hard cock. Luke moaned softly, then, giving in to the need, began to move, pushing back so Adam slid deeper before thrusting into the hand that held him. Luke set the pace, slow and tender, the object not to force a climax, but to feel part of each other, to feel wanted, needed, desired. Slowly, his pace increased; then just when he was going to ask Adam to move with him, Adam‟s grip tightened, and on Luke‟s next backward shift, Adam thrust deep, taking over and setting a new rhythm. Luke shifted his position just slightly so Adam was now hitting his prostate with each deep plunge. It was beautiful, and he wanted it to last, but heat built quickly, and he was unable to control the burning need that was now racing through him. “I‟m going to come,” Luke moaned. Adam bit down on Luke‟s neck and started thrusting harder. “I want you with me,” Luke told him, barely managing to get the words out as his whole world started to go gray. “I am, baby. I‟m coming too.” “Then do it now, Adam. Come inside me now.” He thrust back hard and groaned as his orgasm hit with a speed and intensity that was still surprising even though with Adam he often came that way. Adam was right there with him, the
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thick pulse of his cock unloading a stream of warm cum that flooded Luke‟s tunnel. Adam moaned, then quickly brought his hand to his mouth and licked and sucked off Luke‟s cum with a relish that had Luke laughing. “There‟s always more where that came from,” Luke reminded him. “I know, but I just love the taste of you. I should have got you to come straight into my mouth.” Luke‟s body shuddered in response. He loved coming in Adam‟s mouth. Next time, he promised. Adam‟s arms came around him again, and he was pulled close to Adam‟s chest. Adam kissed his shoulder and stroked down Luke‟s arm, once again tracing the tattoo. Adam seemed to like doing that, and if Luke was honest, he liked Adam doing it. This wasn‟t just his tattoo anymore; it seemed to symbolize something for both of them. Luke closed his eyes again, content, happy to stay there, happy with knowing Adam wanted him there forever.
*** The darkness gave way to a brilliant orange light that spread tendrils across a morning sky. Red meshed through the orange, turning brighter as gold seeped between clouds that skidded in the early breeze. A yellow disc rose above the horizon marred by the trees that studded the thin line between earth and sky. The black turned to indigo and then paled until it became a softly colored blue. “What does it look like?” Luke looked down at Adam, who lay on his back, facing the heavens. Luke stretched out beside him on the hard ground and closed his eyes. He reached for Adam‟s hand and showed him. “Beautiful.” Luke turned to see Adam now facing him. “That‟s what you sent me the first time, wasn‟t it? A sunrise, not a sunset.” Luke nodded, though he knew Adam couldn‟t see it, but Adam would know anyway. “Yeah. I think I associated it with the rise of the phoenix. It‟s reminiscent of a new beginning. It‟s what I wanted to believe in, what I needed to believe in,” Luke admitted, knowing that what he had with Adam was exactly that, a beginning. Adam squeezed Luke‟s hand. “Have I told you I love you recently?” Adam asked him. Luke laughed. “Yes, about twenty minutes ago while we were making love.” “Then always remember that.” “I will,” Luke said, squeezing Adam‟s hand in return. And he would. “Luke?” “Mmm?” “Now that you got me up on this cliff, how are we supposed to get down?” Adam asked, looking decidedly uneasy.
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Luke grinned. Adam knew he had something planned; he just didn‟t know what. He bent down and kissed Adam, sending him an image, and then laughed as Adam gasped. “We‟re not!” “Yeah, we are. We‟re rappelling.” “Luke!”
Penny Brandon Penny‟s been a lover of books since before she could read and a maker of stories before she knew how to talk properly, so it was only natural that she started writing when she could hold a pen. From fairytales to teenage romances to the hot, erotic stories she writes now, she‟s always held the same belief; to love what she puts down on paper. Which means she doesn‟t love cooking, cleaning or weeding the garden. She does, however, love to travel and has lived in England and Ireland and now resides in Australia, where she intends to stay and discover all that she can of this beautiful country. Penny would love to hear from you and can be contacted at
[email protected]. She also has a blog address where you can read her comments and story ideas in progress at http://pennybrandon.blogspot.com.
