Blunder Woman

Blunder Woman Dakota Cassidy All rights reserved.

Copyright ©2006 Dakota Cassidy

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ISBN (10) 1-59596-400-2

ISBN (13) 978-1-59596-400-7

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Changeling Press LLC

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Editor: Sheri Ross Fogarty

Cover Artist: Bryan Keller

This e-book file contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language which some may find offensive and which is not appropriate for a young audience. Changeling Press E-Books are for sale to adults, only, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.

Dedication With love, this is for my buddy Shelly Laurenston -- a kick ass writer who gave this meeker one a kick ass plot idea. You rule, chica! And also for M, who talks me into the craziest book ideas without my knowing until it’s too late… Love, Dakota ;-) M: Innocent. I am innocent, I tell you! I am the heart and soul of innocence… the… well, you get the picture. Blame Dakota.

Chapter One “Um, I’m who?” “A descendant of a great Egyptian goddess. You hold within the palm of your hand great super powers.” “Really?” “Indeed.” “Do my super powers entail ridding myself of the cellulite on my ass? Cuz that for sure, would be a super power in my book.” “No, no. No cellulite removal, miss.” “How about bigger ta-ta’s? I mean, in the realm of super powers, certainly that could be a perk one might consider giving me, yes?” “Ahem… no, no bigger…” a cough, “… er, ta-ta’s.” “Doesn’t that just figure? Of all the things to happen to a girl like me, I get the shitty arsenal of super powers. Somehow, it just isn’t fair.” “You do have other powers that are quite useful, miss.” “Wait -- do I have to wax to wear the outfit, er, costume, whatever it is? Ooooh, please don’t tell me I have to wax unsightly hair from my bikini line! I mean, waxing is so vicious, so invasive, ya know? I had a Brazilian wax once and I don’t think I walked right for a week. I don’t want to wax. So hear me now. I’m drawing the line at the high cut, cutesy thing. Got that? Besides, my ass is in absolutely no shape to be swishing around in one of those things. I will not be mocked by fellow colleagues with aforementioned super powers.” “Um, I don’t believe a costume is involved, miss.”

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“What?! No costume? How the hell can I have super powers, which would lend one to believe I then am considered one of those comic book heroes, and not have a costume? It’s absurd. How do I fight for truth, justice and the -- the --” “American way, miss.”

“Right. How can I do all of those things if I’m not properly garbed?”

“I have no answer for that, miss. Perhaps you might design one yourself?”

“Oh, and hold on one emerald lamp minute. I cannot fight evil on my --” she

leaned in and whispered, “-- ‘womanly days.’ Got that? I have a seven-day span of time where I am not chasing anyone. I don’t run or jump or leap tall anythings during that. I do hope the evil forces can wait that out. Though, I’d bet I’d be hell on wheels to toy with then. I can be fierce if I’m bloated. Which leads me back to the comic book hero costume. I prefer baggy. Something loose and flowing, you know? Not like that stupid costume what’s her name was wore. You know the one, right? The one who spun around and changed from some boring secretary to a crime fighting wonder? Her tata’s were like torpedoes. That couldn’t have been comfortable --” “Miss! There is no costume.” “I still can’t believe it. Why would you designate me a hero and not give me a costume? What were you thinking? Never mind. How about a car? Or a plane? Surely, I must have some sort of vehicle to get from point A to point B when I’m fighting evil. I can’t walk. Or do I have bionic legs? That would mean I’d have to shave more often. It would lend to growth at a bionic rate, yes? Maybe not. I don’t know. I do know, I already told you, shaving and waxing are not something I want to have to do every day. I need downtime from the girly stuff.” “Yes, miss. Of course. Downtime.”

“So what are my super powers?”

“You shall soon learn, miss.”

“Oh, please. Don’t be all super mysterious with me. I always hated that when the

hero on TV didn’t ask the right questions and he found all these things out by accident, instead of just demanding his right as a hero to know. Give me the scoop and give it to

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me now. Stop sidestepping the issue. If I’m a descendant of Hathor, then I have the right to know what my super powers are. I don’t want to find out at the eleventh hour, when I’m chained to the front of some missile while my evil nemesis maniacally laughs mockingly at me and his finger hovers over the “launch” button. A button that will launch me into the stratosphere, mind you -- only to find that I have some great super power that could have helped me avoid the whole ridiculous mess by simply telling me to begin with. It’s a typical comic book hero ploy and one I can do without. Who wants to hover at the brink of death if they don’t have to?” “Yes, miss.” “Oh, wait. Do I have an evil nemesis? All heroes with super powers do, don’t they?” “Yes, miss.” “Yes, miss, I have an evil nemesis, or yes, miss, you’re appeasing me again?” A long sigh was let out in a whoosh. “I don’t know anymore, miss.” “So all this time, I thought you were the doorman here and you’re really my, my --” “Guide, miss. I’m your guide into the realm of -- well, of all things hero, or in your case, heroine-like.” Nodding curtly, she followed him out the large revolving door to her office building and past the newsstand she stopped at every day to get the morning paper. She waved at the woman she purchased her paper from and an odd ripple of foreboding swept over her. There was a very plain redhead in attendance at the newsstand and under normal circumstances she waved, but today, her face held a stony, pinched look. Kennedy had too much floating around in her head to give it much thought. She turned her attention back to the problem at hand. “So, you wanna tell me how long it was going to be before you took me from that peon job in the mailroom? Oh, and if you think for one minute I’m going to pretend to be Kennedy Smith by day -- meek mailroom clerk -- and turn into a kick-ass heroine by

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night, you’ve got another think coming. You feel me here? I’m not gonna play the game that the dude with the cape played. Wasn’t he a newspaper reporter or something during the day? It’s just ridiculous that no one knew who he was without his glasses on. I want people to know if I save their sorry asses. I want the credit, you hear me? I mean, why should I go out of my way so they can call me the unidentified crime-fighting chick with the skimpy costume and a big ass? Where’s the glory in that? Especially if I put my neck on the line. I want kudos.” She kept her tone light and teasing. “Of course you do, miss.” They strode to the parking garage to locate her car. “You can call me Kennedy, you know.” “Yes, miss.” “What’s your name again? And if you tell me Alfred, I’ll just scream,” she warned, looking over her shoulder at him, eyeing his crisp suit and tie. “Edgar, miss. That’s my name.” He smiled with a quick crack of lips only to return to his passive, calm expression. As they moved between rows of cars, she finally laughed. “Okay, so we can stop playing now, Edgar. I’m going to lunch and you’re going back to being the doorman. Thanks for the diversion. The mailroom can be so boring. You wanna grab lunch together? I go to this little place right down the corner. Great corned beef and Swiss.” “Miss? This is no joke.” His face held an odd honesty that she refused to acknowledge. Well, maybe he was just lonely. He was harmless enough. She could afford to play for a little while longer. “So what’s the deal about me having all of these powers? Do my parents have them too? Did they know I had them?” “I don’t think so, miss.” “Kennedy. Call me Kennedy and if you’re going to tell me I’m adopted or some such nonsense, I’ll flip. The caped crusader was adopted, right?” Edgar nodded his head in the affirmative.

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“Well, look at this hair, would you?” She held up a long strand of platinum blonde hair and shook it at him. “I get that from my father. Not a bottle.” “Indeed, I’m sure you do, mi -- erm, Kennedy.” “I’m tall too for a girl. Almost six foot. That comes from my dad as well.” “I’m sure it does, miss.” “Okay, so how did this happen again? How did I inherit super powers no one knows anything about?” “It’s rather tedious in explanation, miss. Some of the powers come from an item you must always wear. It isn’t necessarily something that just happens,” he informed her when they approached her car. His eyebrows, salted with a sprinkling of white, rose. Obviously because her car wasn’t exactly new. Honesty be had, it wasn’t even from this decade. But it was hers. Edgar pulled on the door of the car to open it for her and it wouldn’t budge. He frowned, his slender face forming a grimace while he yanked at it. “Wait. Watch this for super powers, Ed.” Kennedy kicked the lower panel of the driver’s side door with the spike of her pump and pulled hard on the handle. It popped open with a groan and a long, ear-splitting creak. “Impressive, miss. I think we’ll have to do something about this car…” Smiling, she motioned for him to get in. “Pacer, Ed. It’s a Pacer and I got it for two hundred bucks from my cousin in Peoria.” She patted the dome-shaped back windshield that resembled a bubble with affection. “Get in,” she said pleasantly as he moved around the car to the passenger side. “It’s blue, miss. Sky blue.” “I know, I painted it myself,” she said with pride. “We’ll have to see what can be done about that,” Edgar said, hunching down in the passenger seat, wiping at the crease in his trousers. “You’re gonna pimp my ride?” His lean, deeply lined face remained still, but his blue eyes questioned hers.

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“You know, fix it up. Put some crazy speakers in it and maybe a flat screen TV.” “Oh, indeed. It will be, er, fixed up.” Kennedy patted his arm and smiled. “That’s good to know. Okay, so, where do we go from here? The Super Mysterious Cave?” Edgar’s chuckle took them both by surprise. “Not quite a mysterious cave, but a place just as secretive and certainly not shared in mixed company.” Her stomach was grumbling now. It was time to cut this delusional moment of Edgar’s short. “Oh. Nice. Does this mean I can quit my stupid day job?” “I’m afraid not just yet.” She snorted. “Why do all heroes have to have a crappy day job? I won’t need the money, will I? Don’t I get a cut of this hero thing? Like don’t big corporations lavish us with money to protect them?” Edgar’s snort was equally abrasive. “I’m afraid not, miss.” “So I have to keep working in the mailroom? That’s absurd,” she muttered. “For the time being.” “Do I get a cool crib?” “Crib?” “Yeah, you know, pad, lair, whatever heroes call their digs.” “Oh, well, no, not exactly. You will have to attend a hero boot camp, so to speak. I’ve put in for your vacation time. They won’t expect you back at FSB for three weeks’ time.” “Three weeks? How the hell can I be gone for three weeks if I only get a week off, without pay?” “I have my connections.” His solemn assurance sent a chill up her spine. “Huh, who knew? You being the doorman and all.” “Indeed, miss. Who knew?” “Okay, so directions. I need directions to this place that’s a secret and I’m supposing I’m not supposed to tell anyone about it, right?” He nodded his sleek gray head. “Correct.”

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“How do you know I won’t tell?” she asked, playing devil’s advocate. “You have a good heart, Kennedy. That’s how I know.” She twisted her body to align with his. “Have I stopped to say how insane this is? Have I once, in all of my ramblings, stopped to say this is crazy? There is no such thing as a comic book hero and you are a nut. I’ve indulged you in that insanity of yours, haven’t I? I think it’s time we stop this now. You’re a doorman, Edgar, at FSB. I’m a mail clerk and you --” she pointed at his pristine, black lapel with her index finger, “-- have obviously forgotten to take the little yellow pills for delusions today. That’s okay. I like you just the same as I did yesterday when you opened the door for me and I wasn’t a hero, er, heroine.” Again, his eyebrow did that thing it did when he was being condescending. She had seen him do it on several occasions since she began working at FSB. Just one, neatly trimmed eyebrow rose with indignation. “Oh, miss. I can see I’m going to have to show you the pretty gadgets to prove to you I’m telling the truth.” He tsked. “I’m disappointed, Kennedy. You really led me to believe that this time, my job would be so much easier. Ah, well,” he said on a sigh, reaching into his jacket. “This time,” she questioned with a tinge of fear. “What do you mean, this time? Do you do this sort of thing all the time, Edgar?” Now she was afraid. Really afraid. “Far more than even I am able to count.” “Really?” “Really, miss. Now, if you’ll just indulge me for a moment, I’ll show you I’m telling the truth and then, we can get you settled.” She ran her tongue over her bottom lip. “Wait, don’t do anything too fast. How do I know you don’t have a gun? People who claim to be guides to other people with super powers are nuts and nuts, well, they usually have guns.” He yanked a pair of glasses from his breast pocket and shoved them in Kennedy’s direction. “No gun. Put these on and you’ll see I’m telling the truth.” Kennedy held the horn rimmed, thick glasses in the palm of her hand and eyed Edgar suspiciously. “Glasses? Glass-es? What kind of super power is a pair of glasses?”

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“Put them on and see, miss.”

Which meant, quit flappin’ your gums.

She rolled her eyes and held the glasses up, looking through them with a

skeptical glance, but too afraid to upset Edgar should he flip. “Put them on, Kennedy,” he insisted, folding his arms over his chest. Sliding them on, she figured it couldn’t hurt to put some glasses on. Kennedy inhaled a sharp gasp. “Do you see, miss?” “No way! No way can this be happening. Did you put something in my coffee, Edgar?” “You don’t drink coffee.” Oh, right. Kennedy sat motionless, unable to pull her eyes away from the man who was standing at the car in the next row. He had a nice car. A black Cadillac. Sweet indeed and he used that Caddy for unsavory practices. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and fury, swift and thick, coursed through her veins. The fucker cheated on his wife.

A lot.

He was a serial cheater. Bastard!

How she knew that, she couldn’t say, but for the glasses which thrummed with a

slight vibration against her temples. Her mouth dropped open and she narrowed her gaze, making the lying, cheating puke but a pinpoint of blurry scum. “He cheats on his wife,” she stated with an uncanny knowledge that came from nowhere, but drummed in her head with clarity. “Does he then? I’d have surely pegged him for armed robbery. Must be I’m getting old. Nonetheless, the glasses reveal those of an unsavory nature. Some worse than others, I fear.” “Yeah, he sure does, the freak. He picks up hookers in that nice Caddy. Jack off,” she said almost to herself, lost in the wonder of the glasses. Her grip tightened on the

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lenses and her mouth pursed. “I should follow him home and tell his wife what a prick he is,” she growled. “No, no, you have much bigger fish to fry, miss. Give me the glasses,” Edgar demanded with calm composure. He held out his hand, wiggling his long fingers. “No, if my job is to catch bad guys, cheaters are high on my list of priorities. He has a really nice wife and two children. They deserve better than him.” “Kennedy,” he said once again, but this time she was sure she detected clenched teeth and some grinding. “Give me the glasses, now.” “Can we come back and get the pig another time?” She held the glasses to her chest like a bribe. “Of course, if you wish.” “I wish,” she confirmed with an assertive nod, handing over the glasses. “I think it’s time we leave for the -- uh -- the Bat Cave, miss.” She shoved the key into the ignition and pressed hard on the gas. A loud chug, then a lurch and a puff of black smoke, followed. She gave Edgar a sheepish grin. His knuckles were already white from clinging to the shoulder belt. “Sorry, it’s an old car, but it still runs pretty good. Well, sometimes if it’s too cold, she can be temperamental, but for the most part, it’s a smooth ride.” Edgar ignored her. “Shall we? Time is of the essence,” he repeated the request in his stately, measured way. “So, which way do I go?” Edgar pulled out a small, black box from his jacket pocket the size of one of those new MP3 players she couldn’t afford. It had a bunch of buttons on it and a thin antenna. “I can help with that,” he said with one of his rare smiles and pushed a button. And suddenly, they were gone.

Chapter Two So began Kennedy Smith’s journey into a world few even knew existed and no one seemed to care much about. When Kennedy had finally been able to open her eyes, she and her Pacer were in a really big, dome-shaped building on a runway of sorts. It was the only way she knew how to describe it. She fought for breath as they sat in the car. The metallic building was eerily quiet. “Wow. What was that about, Ed?”

“It was about getting you here, miss. There’s only one way to do that.”

“And where is here again?”

“OOMPH headquarters.”

“Where?”

“OOMPH.”

“Yeah, good. How about you tell me what that means.”

“Organization of Magnificent Paranormal Heroes.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“I kid you not, miss. We’re a very old, well established organization.”

“So why haven’t I heard about it? I don’t recall hearing about it in the

newspapers or on TV. And paranormal? What does that mean? Ghosts and stuff?” “It means many things, and unlike your caped crusader, we keep a much lower profile.” “So what kinds of crime are we talkin’ here? Petty theft? Big stuff like drug rings?” “Oh, the crimes vary. We send you where you’re best utilized. Where the crime fits the hero’s abilities, so to speak.”

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Kennedy looked into Edgar’s solemn eyes. “You still haven’t told me what my abilities are, Edgar.” “All in due time, miss. Shall we take the tour?” “Yeah, sure,” she muttered distractedly while a million questions zoomed around in her head. With a shove of her shoulder, she popped open her door and got out. Her legs wobbled a bit and she held the door to regain her composure. Edgar came around and offered his arm to her. She hooked hers through it and let him lead her down the long stretch of runway. “Is this like a launch pad or something?” “Of sorts,” he answered with that mysterious thread to his words. She stopped walking. “Look, could we quit with all the top secret stuff and just tell me what it is? If I’m going to be a hero -- heroine -- whatever, then I have a right to know. So, give me the skinny and give it to me straight.” Placing her hands on her hips, Kennedy waited for Edgar to speak. “We like to give you small bits of information at a time, miss. You must admit, it can be quite overwhelming.” To say the least, for crap’s sake. She’d awakened this morning a mailroom clerk and tonight, she was a fledgling hero. Didn’t you have to do something special to earn the name hero? “Okay, Edgar, we’ll play it your way. A little at a time. So where are we going off to now?” “To meet your instructor, miss, and settle you into your quarters.” “I have quarters, Ed?” she said with surprise. Holy shit! That had to beat her studio apartment. The one she could barely afford. “You do, Kennedy. You have much to learn in these next weeks. Why don’t we begin that journey now?” Slipping her arm back through his, she let Edgar guide her down the metal runway and through the wide double doors at the end of it with great trepidation.

***

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“Are you friggin’ kidding me, Latex Man? How in the hell could you get lost?” a voice, hard like chips of ice, shouted from a room just across from the one that harbored a bunch of computers and lights and buttons that she just couldn’t absorb. It was the central command room. It had an icy-hot big screen TV in it with a bunch of dots that apparently told a hero where he or she could best help out someone in trouble. There was only trouble if the dots were red though, according to Edgar. Oddly, there weren’t too many dots lit up. Except for one that looked like it might be in Boise if Kennedy was correct and this was a map of the United States. “How hard is it to deliver condoms, Latex Man?” the hard-edged voice spat. Her neck craned to see who was shouting. “I’m sorry, Boss. I wrote the directions down,” a more meek voice spoke up, quivering from a throat that was audibly tight. “Wrote them down? Wrote them down? You have a navigation system that tells you how to get there! You don’t need to write it down,” was the exasperated answer. “I forgot to turn it on, okay? Sometimes I forget…” the voice said rife with shame and trailing off to a murmur. “You forgot?” macho man yelled, harsh and clearly on the brink of erupting. “I have ADD. You knew that when you brought me on. I have a doctor’s note!” he said defensively. “Who is that?” she asked in a whisper, leaning into Edgar. “Well, miss, that’s your instructor,” he said, ushering her into the room where the voice was bellowing. Kennedy blanched. “Okay, well, that’s good to know. So patience isn’t one of his better virtues?” Edgar’s low rumbled chuckle resonated in her ear. “Latex Man has been struggling lately. I do believe Captain Daring is at his wits’ end with him.” “Captain Daring? Daring?” She snorted at how incredibly egotistical his name was. Not to mention the sound of his arrogant voice.

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What exactly did a latex man do, anyway? “Latex Man? How the hell do you expect to save teenagers all over the world from unwanted pregnancies if you don’t show up with the bloody condoms?” Well, that settled that. It only made perfect sense that a man named latex would dispense condoms. Kennedy stuffed a fist in her mouth and fought a giggle. Latex Man, tall and reed thin in a skin-tight purple jumpsuit, stuck his tongue out at Captain Daring. “I got there. I was a little late, but apparently the kid was better at foreplay than most seventeen-year-olds, so I was just in time. So quit yelling at me! I did my job.” Captain Daring threw down a manila folder on his desk and shook his head. He stood in the shadows and she couldn’t quite make out what he looked like. “Look, I know you try, LM. You just have to try harder. I can’t keep all of you from falling apart all the time. Someone has to step up to the plate, you know? You guys drop the ball a lot lately,” he grumbled, stepping away from his desk in the corner and into the light where Kennedy could see him. Gulp. Wow. Way to be a hottie, Doctor Daring. Er, Captain. Her eyes grew rounder when Captain Daring moved toward her and Edgar. He was speaking, but it was in slow motion to Kennedy. His lips, firm, sensuous and just a bit full, said something. She just couldn’t quite process it in her frazzled brain. He placed both long-fingered hands on his lean hips and finally noticed she and Edgar were in his office. Did all the heroes look like him? If so, it was orgy time. He lifted his square chin, his sparkling green eyes assessing her coldly. His thick, cocoa hair skimmed the collar of his polo shirt. It fell in short waves to frame his

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chiseled features. Thick thighs bulged inside the black jeans he wore. They hugged every muscle, clinging to him like static. Arms that rippled folded over a chest so impressive she found herself wondering whether or not it had hair on it. Kennedy’s lips grew dry, but she couldn’t think long enough to wet them. Instead, she remained silent, her eyes roving over him with a hunger she’d never felt before. Good damned thing he wasn’t Captain Underpants. They’d never get her off him if he wore underwear, especially if he wore those boxer briefs. Wow, imagine his thighs in those… The air in the room grew oppressive and an electric current skipped over her senses like a slick stone in a pond. Her heart quickened its pace and the pulse in her throat throbbed. When he finally spoke, Kennedy realized she’d been holding her breath. She knew because the gust of air she let go of was audible. “Is this the latest?” he asked Edgar like he didn’t much care one way or the other. “Indeed, sir, she is. This is Kennedy Smith,” Edgar said with the reserve she’d grown accustomed to. She discreetly wiped her hand on her skirt and held it out to him. A small line of perspiration had broken out on her forehead and he was putting her deodorant to the test by making her wait to see if he’d take her hand in greeting. With the speed of light he shook it and pulled out of her grasp before she could cling to him. “Have you shown her to her quarters yet, Edgar?” “We were just on our way, sir. I thought we’d drop in here for introductions first,” Edgar said coolly, rocking back on his shiny, leather shoes. “Then, consider us introduced,” he remarked and turned his attention back to his desk.

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A flush of anger for the careless way he disregarded not only her, but Edgar, made her react. She walked up behind him and poked him between the shoulder blades. “Hey, Captain Daring, where are your manners?” Out of the corner of her eyes she caught Edgar rolling his tongue in his cheek while he waited in silence, folding his hands together at his waist. Captain Daring moved with a precise turn on his heel, pivoting. Everything he did was crisp and as though he’d given it great thought in but a matter of seconds. He stared down at her, his green eyes hard and cold and full of menace. “Manners?” “Yeah, your manners,” she lobbed back. “Is it so hard for you to give someone the time of day? I’m new here and a little freaked out, as I’m sure you’re aware. Would it kill you to make the effort to welcome me? Or at the very least, if you can’t be all warm and fuzzy, shoot for a little Emily Post!” He said nothing, yet his eyes never left her face. His eyebrow cocked arrogantly. He made her nervous with just a glance, but that wasn’t going to stop her from speaking her mind. “You could use some work on your people skills, big boy. You should be called Captain Rude,” she said, narrowing her eyes back at him. “I’m not here to be your friend,” he said finally, his jaw set firmly in the locked position. “Well, that’s a good thing because etiquette isn’t your strong suit. I hope that isn’t one of your super powers, cuz you suck at it,” she spat in a tight-lipped response. Damn it all, she was tired and cranky and something life altering had just happened to her and Captain Daring was an asshole. Her asshole instructor, mind you. “I wouldn’t worry about my super powers, Ms. Smith. They’re just fine. It’s yours that should be your concern.” Anger swept over her and she fought to keep it in check, though she felt her cheeks flush. “Edgar? Can I get a refund on my instructor? I don’t like this one,” she said, shooting Long, Tall and Tough a narrowed gaze. Edgar stepped forward and moved between the two of them, facing Kennedy. “I’m afraid not, miss. Captain Daring is your only hope.”

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Never one to quit, Kennedy peered over Edgar’s shoulder and into Captain Mouthy’s eyes. “Well, that’s just peachy. Okay, so we’re stuck with each other is what you’re saying. Then, listen up, Captain Whateveryournameis. Don’t think for one minute you can treat me like some peon. I had enough of that in the mailroom. I am a human being and I deserve to be treated with, at the very least, decency. Got that?” she said, letting a threat to her tone ring with clarity. His arrogant gaze bored into hers. He didn’t just stare at her, he glowered. “Oh, I’m very clear, Ms. Smith. Why don’t you scurry along now? Get settled in and we’ll talk about the Welcome Wagon and my lack of finesse later.” With that, he turned back to his desk, dismissing both her and Edgar. Fucktard. Edgar could obviously see her ire. It would have been hard to miss, seeing as her chest was heaving and she had a bit of spittle at the corner of her mouth, so he took her by the arm with a firm grip. “I think now is the time to make a graceful, if not quiet exit, miss.” “Fine,” she said from between tight lips. “Why don’t we do that, Edgar? The air in here has a certain stench to it.” She wrinkled her nose at Mr. Ill Mannered and smiled at Edgar, letting him lead her out of Captain Stupidhead’s office. They made a hurried exit down another long corridor with a stretch of gray carpet and Kennedy took the opportunity to vent. Sadly, Edgar was the fine recipient of her rant. “Well, that was a fine how-do-you-do! He should be called Captain Shithead! Does he treat all new recruits like this?” “He can be a bit harsh,” Edgar agreed in his non-ruffled, diplomatic way. “Yeah? Well, he’d better chill because I am not going to be treated that way. I mean, when I used to watch those lame cartoons, there was a certain respect amongst one’s fellow heroes, ya know? Nobody treated the guy with the cape like that.” “Well, miss, there’s much for you to learn here. You’ll find that in our establishment, heroes like Captain Daring are a dying breed. I believe, at times, he can be a bit resentful about that.”

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“Huh?” Edgar cleared his throat. “Well, miss, no one much believes in us anymore, let alone respects us. The world has changed a great deal since the heyday of the comic book hero. Nowadays, there’s Homeland Security and The Ex-Files for the more dangerous missions. We certainly don’t garner the kind of respect we once did. Our missions are of a less volatile nature these days.” Well, that explained Latex Man and his arsenal of condoms. It certainly was a super power that left a lot to be desired. However, that didn’t explain why they continued to hire new meat. “So what’s the point of bringing me here? If the missions are few and far between and of no global importance to anyone, what do we do?” Kennedy stopped walking for what seemed like the hundredth time that day and waited for an answer. Edgar’s face never changed emotion, but she caught a twitch in his right eye. Someone wasn’t telling the truth here. His silence said it all. “All right, it’s obvious I’m not getting the big pic here, Ed. So give it to me straight. Like now, before I hop back in my ghetto car and go home.” “You’re right. I owe you an explanation.” He sighed when he spoke, clearly formulating the words carefully. “The world at large no longer cares about us, if they ever cared at all. Technology being what it is today leaves little room for someone who can leap tall buildings. The public doesn’t care about a man who has super human strength when we have stealth missiles one can almost launch from their personal cell phones. We’re a dying breed, miss.” Edgar’s eyes held a sad, watery look to them, but it didn’t stop her from wanting to know her real purpose here. She twisted a strand of her hair while she became increasingly nervous. “Okay, so that doesn’t explain why I’m here, Ed. You said I was a descendant of some Egyptian chick or something, but even if that’s true and I don’t know how it can be when my parents tell me they come from Hackensack, what’s my role here?” “The word from the powers that be is, they want a new, fresh face to bring them some favorable press. If that doesn’t help, then… well, then…” he paused and visibly

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swallowed hard, “…we are doomed to close our doors forever. OOMPH will be no more.” Wow. What would the hormonal teenagers of the world do then? “So let me get this straight, you came and got me from the mailroom at FSB, so you could parade me around as a hero?” “You did say recognition was part of the deal, miss,” he reminded her stoically. You sure did, dumb ass. “And they picked me because I’m a descendant of some Egyptian goddess?” If that were true, why hadn’t she displayed some of these special powers before? The wheels in her head began to turn. They weren’t as rusty as they had been when Edgar had first approached her with talk of super powers and goddesses. “Technically, yes.” Aha! “Explain technically, Ed.” He regarded her with the same cool expression he’d worn since they’d met. “Loosely speaking, you’re the third cousin, twice removed, via divorce and remarriage, a descendant of Hathor.” His response held chagrin and he averted his eyes to stare at the wall behind her. “Was Hathor a woman? What kind of a name is Hathor?” “Yes, miss. She was indeed a woman.” Rolling her head on her neck, Kennedy clucked her tongue. “And this Hathor, what power did she have?” “Well, she was best known for her penchant for beer…” “She was a drunk?” “Oh, not just that, miss. She had redeeming qualities too. She also loved to dance.” So what did she do when she ran around saving folks from catastrophe? Put on her boogie shoes? “You’re joking, right? I mean, what kind of super powers are they? How can I save people if I’m drunk and shaking the junk in my trunk? This is crazy. I think it’s time to take my leave from the likes of egomaniacal men like Captain Big Mouth and his sidekick Condom Boy.”

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Blunder Woman

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For the first time, Edgar touched her arm, keeping her from turning in the other direction and fleeing. “If you go, miss, the powers that be will surely throw their hands up in defeat. Many people, though certainly not the comic book standards of a hero, will lose their only way of life. I would hate to see Latex Man have to open a kiosk at the mall.” A well of laughter bubbled in her throat and gurgled to a fit of giggles at the visual of Latex Man at the mall, preventing pregnancies one shopper at a time. “I’m sorry, Edgar. I just -- I just --” She couldn’t finish for laughing. “Miss, please don’t mistake what I say as anything other than what it is. We are in grave circumstances and your agreeing to remain is our only hope.” That was a helluva burden to put on her shoulders. She was a mailroom clerk, for fuck’s sake. “So, let me get this straight. I’m here because you need me to give a face to OOMPH?” Edgar nodded, still holding her arm, his fingers keeping a light grip on her flesh. “What do the powers that be think I can possibly do for OOMPH?” Clearing his throat, he cocked his head and coughed. “They think you’ll look exceptionally attractive in the costume, miss.” Ahhhh. “So there is a costume?” Kennedy perked up a bit. “Yes, miss. Forgive my small white lie. I didn’t know you’d be so excited about a costume. You’ll receive those items upon completion of your training.” “Will you lose your job if I leave, Edgar?” “Yes, miss.” She gave a moment’s thought to her rather small life. She didn’t have much in it but a houseplant and a crappy job. Her parents lived three hours away from her as it was. Really, what did she have to lose? “What are these ‘powers that be’ willing to offer me in return for my staying, Edgar?”

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“If you pass the rigorous training, you’ll be offered a career here at OOMPH for as long as our doors stay open. In return for attracting attention to the need for heroes in today’s society, you will be paid.” “A bigger paycheck than the one that I get at FSB?”

“I’d say so.”

“Bennies?”

“Bennies, miss?”

“Benefits. You know, health, dental, etcetera.”

“Oh, absolutely.”

“Okay, Edgar. I’ll bite, but I want more info, you hear me? Don’t bullshit me

anymore. Cuz I know I don’t have any special super powers and I don’t know how you planned to get that by me, but I’ll go with the idea that you must have a way to give them to me or I wouldn’t be here. Whether I look good in the costume or not. So, do we have a deal?” Edgar’s smile was wide and genuine. “Deal, miss.”

“And you have to talk to that shithead Captain Sour Face. Tell him if he’s always

that rude, I’m going to leave.” “I will, miss.” “Okay, so, show me these quarters and tell me about my costume.” Edgar smiled and led her the rest of the way down the silent corridor. “Ya know, Edgar? He’s a real shithead.” Edgar said nothing. “C’mon,” she cajoled with a smile and a hearty chuckle. “You know it’s true. Say it with me. Captain Daring is a shithead. Say it. Shit-head.” Her words echoed around the cold, rather impersonal surroundings. Edgar laughed one more time, a laugh that came from his belly. “He can be very temperamental indeed, miss.” Well, that was a good enough admission for now. Captain Daring was about to find out just what a shithead she could be in return.

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***

Somewhere, deep and hidden in the belly of the black, frosted night, a murky, sinister emotion stirred, pushing its way beyond reason, and found comfort in madness. It latched onto its owner with maniacal claws, clutching, clinging to the harbor for its very existence, anchoring itself with hatred. It wished for all things lost.

It wished for all things as they once were.

It did not like Kennedy Smith.

It did not like being replaced.

It wished the young, beautiful Kennedy Smith dead.

Cold, and rigid with death.

Chapter Three Kennedy lay on her king-sized bed in her fancy, electronically gadget filled, thickly carpeted, posh quarters and let out a long moan. Cheerist, this hero crap was a whole lot harder than any Tae Bo class she’d ever taken. Every muscle in her body protested the cruelties they had suffered for the past week. Her head ached and her feet felt like twin hot dogs roasting on an open fire. This hero shit was for the birds. Surely Latex Man couldn’t have gone through the rigorous training she had. He couldn’t possibly have had to do two hundred sit ups just to chase kids around who didn’t use condoms. And what about Wonderslut? Wow, she was some piece of work. Though, she would readily admit, saving the population one orgasm at a time was noble work indeed. It made Kennedy ever so grateful that wasn’t one of her own personal super powers. And Captain Daring? He was just as much of a tight ass as he’d been when they’d first met. Except now, he gritted his teeth every time she was in his vicinity and said nothing. Edgar must have spoken to him about the chip he had on his shoulder. It was hardly her fault if a comic book hero had become a joke in the eyes of the public. He was taking his anger out on the wrong person. As the week had progressed, she had come to find out more about what the “powers that be,” whoever they were, wanted. They wanted her to give OOMPH a new lease on life. They wanted press and favorable press at that. They wanted her to see and be seen and if she came through for them, her life would become something far different from what she’d ever dreamt possible.

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Edgar said they were even willing to offer her more special super powers if she proved to be right for the job. She’d also found out that while she may well be a distant relative of some Egyptian goddess, she sure as hell didn’t have any real super powers from birth. But they were going to give them to her, somehow… She hadn’t gotten far enough in the training process to ask. However, first she had to pass a battery of physical tests. Which explained why she was lying here on her bed moaning for all she was worth. The physical tests were going to kill her. There was nothing like Captain Daring nipping at your heels, barking, “Forty more laps to go.” He took great pleasure in watching her sweat and Kennedy knew it. He wasn’t all in when it came to shedding favorable light on OOMPH. He also didn’t much like the fact that her super powers would be manufactured, versus a birthright. He had been born with the abilities he had, whatever they were. Kennedy still didn’t know what exactly Mr. Fabulous was capable of. He kept his powers to himself, secreting them away much like he did his emotions. Curiosity was beginning to gnaw a hole in her gut about her own capabilities and just how she’d be given them. However, the subsequent pain she endured during this training period kept her from asking too many questions. You couldn’t ask questions if you were dead to the world every night by eight, slathered in Ben Gay. The buzzer on her intercom sounded and she reached an achy arm over to press the button with a grimace. “Yes?” she said hoarsely, exhaustion evident in her voice. “Ms. Smith. Your presence is required,” Captain Daring barked into the intercom. Kennedy slid off the bed with a creak of muscle and opened the door to her lavish quarters. Captain Sour Puss stared at her with those cold, green eyes. He had on a black latex jumpsuit that hugged every sinewy muscle he owned. The red strip along

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his thighs accented his thick muscles. Oy vey, he was good looking. He was so handsome, it could hurt your eyes if you looked at him for too long. “My presence is needed for what?” “More training.” Oh, no. No, no, no. Shaking her head, Kennedy said, “No fricken’ way. I’m off duty now. Training is officially over for the day.” “A hero is never off duty,” was his stiff reply. If being a hero meant getting up in the wee hours of the morning to save some loser’s ass, she wasn’t up for that. Not tonight anyway. “Well, I haven’t graduated yet, now have I? So I’m not a full hero or heroine as I prefer to call myself. Now, go away and let me rest. I have to be up at five and I need sleep so I can be at full heroine capacity.” “Ms. Smith, might I remind you you’re here on borrowed time.” Ooooh, he was so self-righteous. “Captain Daring? Might I remind you that if I wasn’t here, you’d be living in a cardboard box!” “Ms. Smith, a hero knows no time of day or night, for that matter. Crisis comes at any given time. It doesn’t work around your beauty rest.” Christ, he always managed to make her feel vain and self-absorbed. “Fine. What’s the crisis?” A smile cracked the side of his luscious lips before he immediately hid it and his cold stare returned. “No crisis, per se. However, you have to be prepared for all kinds of emergencies, Ms. Smith. This is in preparation for just such an event.” A fire drill… for fuck’s sake. “Fine,” she said, swinging the door open wide. “I’m there. Let’s do this.” There was no way she was going to let him have the better of her. Not even if it killed her. And that just might happen, considering her shoulders and neck felt like a rhino was sitting on them. She tromped down the long corridor on heavy feet and asked, “Where to?”

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“Well, first, Ms. Smith, I suggest you walk less like you own the feet of a thousand elephants. Your enemy may well know you’re coming long before you ever actually arrive.” Kennedy stood on her tippey toes and made a face at him. “Fine. See me all stealth-like. Now, where to?” He stepped in front of her, most likely to show her who the boss was. “The ammunitions room.” He walked down the gray, neutral hallway and Kennedy watched him while he went. He had the finest ass she’d ever seen and even if he was a fucking self-righteous stupidhead, she’d admired it on many occasions this past week. The ammo room, huh?

Guns. She was going to play with the super-sonic, evil nemesis zappers.

Sweet.

Turning to his left, Captain Daring pushed open another (surprise) gray door

and held it for her. OOMPH could use some festive colors to liven up the place. She followed him into a room where the walls were lined with guns. Her hands immediately went to the cubby holes, running her fingers over the edges of them. “Which one is mine?” she wondered out loud. “That’s what we’re here to find out,” he said, coming to stand behind her. His bulk shadowed her and made her forget she was sore and tired, reminding her that Captain Daring was crazy sexy. And a jerk, Kennedy. Don’t forget the jerk part. “Why do I need a gun anyway? I can’t remember a comic book hero having a gun.” “That’s because you’re not a real hero.” That was absolutely it. He was going to hold her lowly human status against her for as long as he could get mileage out of it and quite frankly, she was tired of the grudge. Whipping around, she poked a finger to his chest and looked up at him. “You know what, Captain Discrimination? I’ve had just about enough of your ‘I’m a hero by birthright and you’re not’ bullshit to last me a lifetime. I’m here because I was asked to

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be here. I didn’t come begging to horn in on your damned territory, looking to wear a silly costume and save the universe. I was just fine until Edgar showed up, feeding me some bullshit about Egyptian goddesses and super powers. So why don’t you knock that chip off your shoulder and cut me some slack!” If he was fazed by her outburst, he wasn’t going to show it. “Why don’t we do what we came here to do, Ms. Smith?” Arghhhhhhh, this man was as frustrating as he was, well, frustrating. “Yeah, let’s do that. Gimme the gun and let’s get on with this so I can get my beauty rest,” she said sarcastically, pulling back her long hair and tying the ends together in a knot. His eyes searched the long wall of guns. He pulled out a small, clear pistol. It looked like a water gun. Red flames adorned either side of it and its narrow butt didn’t look to be terribly effective for scaring the bad guys. “So am I going to nail the bad guys with a mini super soaker?” His eyebrow cocked in that way it always did when he wanted to let her know who was superior. “Let’s go to the track, shall we?” Oh, no. She was not doing another forty laps while she held that stupid water gun between her teeth! Sensing her hesitation, he said, “It isn’t what you think. C’mon, I’ll show you.” He led her back into the drab hallway, then to the door that took them outside to the track where she’d rid herself of some cellulite with about twenty miles of running. It was dark, but for the one lamp post and the stretch of dirt she’d run on every day since she’d begun. The surrounding area was filled with tall oaks and it made her wonder, again, exactly where she was. “Pay attention,” he said curtly. Kennedy rolled her eyes and watched as he cocked the gun and aimed beyond the trees. His lean, tapered fingers held the gun and the muscles of his arms flexed, then tensed when he pulled the trigger back.

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Blunder Woman

- 30 -

It all happened in slow motion. The hiss of the gun’s release was subtle, yet alarmingly crisp. One moment the horizon was inky black and quiet, the next, it was lit up like The Bunny Ranch in Nevada. Her mouth fell open. Holy shit. He’d started a forest fire. Oh, they were in big trouble now… That wee little gun, that she’d thought was a water gun, was a fricken’ flame throwing, lightning striking, bad ass gun, with the launching power of a torpedo. “Um, the woods are on fire,” she mentioned the obvious, more to herself than to him. “Nah, Elemental Man lives out beyond the trees. He’ll put it out with his breath.” She shook her head in disbelief. Elemental Man? This got crazier and crazier. “He’s in charge of all the elements. He can make hurricanes, tornadoes, wind storms, put out fires with a breath, create them too, if he wants.” “I suppose he was born with his powers, huh?” He held the gun out to her and gave her the infamous cold, green stare. “Yeah, he was.” Figured. God, it sucked to not be a part of the club. “Okay, so this is my gun? The one I use all the time when I fight evil?” “For now.” Taking the small gun, she let the cool plastic lay in her hand. She’d never held a gun before. She felt wary and a little omnipotent. With a deep breath, she held it up and looked through the small scope to take a look. Captain Daring came up behind her and placed his arms under hers, outstretched and ready. He steadied her grip and aligned the sight. “This gun takes a lot of control. It’s small, but it packs a mean punch. You ready?” His words slid along the back of her neck, followed by his hot breath, and Kennedy fought the slither of chills along her spine. Yeah, she was ready, but it had little to do with the water pistol. “Ready,” he said again, bracketing her body with his. She nodded. “Let’s do it.” Pressing her finger to the trigger, she pulled it back and let loose. Her body shot back against his with the recoil of the gun, knocking them

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both off their feet. His arm went around her waist to brace her fall and her head clunked against his shoulder with a crack, but she still had the gun, she thought proudly, right in her hand. She lay against his hard, yummy body. A body that had absorbed her fall and struggled to breathe. Whether it was from lying on top of him or from the shock of the gun, she wasn’t quite sure. Rock solid and planed with lean muscle, his body molded to hers. The hiss of his breath in her ear held her still. The hot flutter of it whispered along her ears. “Dayuum,” she finally said on a choppy, stuttering breath. “That has some mad ass recoil, huh?” His breath had quickened and his command was gruff. “Get off of me, please.” The breadth of his chest expanded with each word he spoke while he spat her hair from his mouth. Kennedy felt the vibration of his grumble on her back and her nipples did something they really shouldn’t at a time like this. She rolled off him and to her side. He offered her a hand. She took it without qualm and when he pulled her up, she fell into him again, planting her hands against his hard chest. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly. “I’m a little wobbly because I’m tired.” “Yeah. You have a crappy instructor who works you like a dog,” he joked, gazing down at her with a glint of humor lurking behind all that angst. “Was that a joke, Captain Daring? I think I might shit a brick if it was,” she giggled. “I think it was, Ms. Smith.” Half of his mouth lifted in a smile she was certain he hated every second of. “You know, Captain, you can call me Kennedy and while you’re at it, why don’t you tell me your name? For shits and grins purposes only. I promise not to make you my new super friend,” she said, giving him a smile that held a quirk.

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This time he did laugh. It was rusty from so little use, but in full throttle, it grew warmer, heartier. “It’s Darren. Darren Westfield.” “Niiice. So I don’t have to call you Captain Daring anymore, Darren?” “How do you suppose it would look to the rest of the class if you called me by my first name?” He took a step back from her and her hands fell away from his chest. He’d put the wall of protocol back up. Rolling her eyes at him she mocked, “I doubt someone who goes by the name Latex will mind much.” He shot her one last glance before backing fully away. “We’d better go before we need Smoky the Bear Man to put out the fires you started. Elemental Man only has so much breath.” She tagged along behind him, walking with brisk strides to keep up. “Is there really a Smokey the Bear Man?” “It was a joke,” he muttered. Oh. Two in one night. Way to let ’er rip, eh?

Chapter Four Darren walked her back to her room and she didn’t realize until they’d arrived at her boring, gray door that she still had the gun pressed closely to her chest. She handed it back to him and was about to thank him for the brief lesson when she caught his eyes staring at her breasts. When she looked down, she realized there was a gaping hole in the front of her sapphire blue Lycra suit. Her hands went to cover it, but the moment she lifted her arms, it began to fall away from her in hunks of shiny spandex. You had to hate it when that happened. Today was not the best of days to have opted out of wearing a Miracle Bra. Darren’s eyes fell to her chest. So did hers. She raised her gaze to look at him. And he lifted his to look back. The current she’d felt back in his office a week ago zigzagged between them, making them both take in a breath of air. In that one moment, they became a tangle of arms and legs. She never even had time to gulp out of nervous anxiety. Bodies pressed together in a harmony neither of them expected. Kennedy didn’t have time to react. The sudden change in pressure and temperature was palpable, tangible. She could taste it, feel it thread throughout her senses and attack her with fiery fingers. It overwhelmed her with its urgency, with its impact, an impact that was hard and thick.

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Darren pushed her back into her room, shoving the door closed with his booted foot, and took her lips, pulling her wrists behind her and cuffing them together in one hand. His tongue thrust into her mouth and the silken rasp set her cunt on fire with an immediate response. Kennedy thrust too, lingering in the new taste, so unfamiliar to her. Darren’s tongue was hot, satiny, exploring her mouth with deep plunges. Her Lycra suit left little to the imagination now that it had fallen apart and Darren wasted no time shredding it fully. He ripped it with hands that moved with precise speed. Reaching down, he unzipped her boots and she shoved them off, forgetting her feet had burned endlessly from them. Her breath came in ragged pants, harsh and uneven. She was naked before him only briefly before he hauled her against him. Winding her arms around his neck, Kennedy let him hike her up around his waist. His cock ground into the cleft between her legs and she let her head fall to his corded neck, absorbing the tremendous outline of his shaft. He pulled her chin up, his green eyes, predatory, fearless, holding her gaze for a moment before he sunk his tongue back into her mouth. His lips grew ravenous, prying hers apart with deep strokes of his tongue. His hands came to cup her full, naked breasts and her nipples turned upward, stiffening with near pain beneath Darren’s skilled fingers. He rolled one tight bud between his thumb and forefinger, tweaking it. Her moan intensified and she thrust against his groin, pushing to burrow deeper. Her pussy opened wide with her legs wrapped around his waist, the slick lips of her cunt gaining full access to his massive cock. The friction of his clothing against her clit, hard and swollen, was driving her insane. She wanted him naked. Kennedy wanted his hard cock fucking her relentlessly until she screamed to come. She didn’t care about protocol.

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- 35 -

Her hands trembled, fumbling to find the opening to his Lycra suit. She reached around his neck, her mouth never leaving his and found the zipper to it. Tearing at it, she unzipped it as far as she could and pulled it off his shoulders. Her hands wasted no time in roaming over the bunched muscle of his chest and arms, sinking into them with abandon. He held her against him with one hand, shrugging off his suit with the other and kicking at his boots. When they were both naked, Darren’s eyes roamed her body, full and lush. She stood before him, hungry, wanting whatever he offered. She no longer cared about the anger between them or the fact that he was her instructor. He wound his hand around the length of her hair and pulled her head back, revealing the column of her neck. Her back arched, forcing her to lean into him. The contact of their skin was magnetic, electrifying, and when her nipples scraped his chest, Kennedy moaned. Her whimper was hungry, helpless to stop itself from escaping her throat with raw clarity. His mouth moved from her ear to her throat, nipping at her neck with small bites before reaching the swell of her breasts. His tongue scraped her nipple with a broad stroke, swiping over it and making it stiffen to a tighter bud. Tugging her hair harder, Darren took as much of her breast as he could in her mouth. Sliding a hand between her legs, he fingered her clit, hard and slick with want. She gripped his arms for balance, the white heat that struck her cunt made her heart crash and her nerves shatter. “Bend over,” he ordered gruffly. “Bend over now, Kennedy. If I don’t get into your cunt and fuck you, I’ll explode.” Her hand went to his cock. It thrust into her palm with a sharp jab. It was flushed with desire, hard as steel and as soft as raw silk. She clamped her hand around it and stroked him with slow pumps. His shaft was wide and impressive in length, with a

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slight curve to the tip of it. Running her thumb over the smooth capped head, Kennedy felt him watch her. “Bend over,” Darren repeated, this time with a harsh growl, his gaze slicing into her own. Wrapping a muscled arm around her waist, he picked her up in front of him, still holding her hair, and placed her at the end of her lush bed. His body, sculpted and hard, came behind her, flush against her, pushing her to lean forward on her elbows. Hands, hot, strong and lean-fingered, roamed over her spine, along the globes of her ass, gripping handfuls of flesh and massaging them. His breathing was hoarse, husky and coming in rough pants, while his fingers slid between her legs, lubricating her entrance with the juice of her slick, wanton pussy. Entering her by increments, each pump of his hips was slow, precise, timed to allow her to adjust to his length and width.

Darren watched the tight entrance of her cunt swallow his cock -- each inch a slow ingestion of his shaft, harder than it had ever been. Her pussy was tight, pink and the lips glistened with moisture, moisture he wanted to lick, taste, but couldn’t wait for. He burned to thrust into her mindlessly, but held back, restraining this unbridled lust she’d created. When he was imbedded deeply within her, he waited until her hips began a measured grind, rolling against his abdomen before he let aggression be his master. Her groan was thick when he made the first plunge into her, letting the cream of her cunt slick his cock. The soft suction of flesh made him grit his teeth, forcing him to grip her waist with fingers that dug into her flesh, leaving behind angry red marks. Their rhythm grew, pulsing and hard. His cock swelled when she contracted around him and the throb of his arousal slammed into his gut. He found the long tail of her hair again and wrapped the silken, platinum strands around his wrist. She moaned, spreading her legs wider, hiking her ass high to take all of him.

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Her thighs trembled against the front of his, the muscles tensing and shaking. Darren pressed her harder, driving into her with a combination of thrust and grind. Her flushed skin heightened his need and he pulled her head back farther so his lips pressed against the shell of her ear. She smelled of fresh, clean air and musky sex and it drove him to whisper, “Do you feel my cock, Kennedy? It owns you now. For this moment, you’re mine.” She muttered something incoherent and nuzzled against his lips, slipping a hand between her thighs to fondle her clit. Darren traced the outline of her ear with his tongue, absorbing the harsh rhythm of her breathing, spellbound by the heat of her golden skin. Her cunt milked his cock and it was his undoing. Darren had never hungered for any woman quite the way he did Kennedy, the way he had since he’d first laid eyes on her, eyes flashing and mouth spewing. It incensed him. It made him want to teach her a lesson. It was violent, volatile and desperate. The tight, firm grip she had on his rod left little room but to come, but he would fight the clawing, dark need until she came too. “Do you feel me fucking you, sliding into your greedy cunt?” Her breathless moan tore at his emotions and they became a confused mixture of a desire to please her and an effort to simply take her as he wished. Tugging on her hair, he gave it a forceful yank. “Come, Kennedy, while my cock fucks you,” he coaxed with a rough command. His words must have been the end of her too. She convulsed around him, rubbing furiously at her clit and letting go of a scream. His balls drew up tight against his shaft and he could no longer hold back his orgasm. Darren threw his head back, howling with victory as he too came, with a roar of hot, thick come.

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Sweat glued them together and he collapsed forward on her, letting go of her hair. Kennedy pulled her arms from beneath her and cradled her head in them, taking sharp breaths of air. He hauled her upward, over the edge of the bed and up to the row of pillows. She was boneless, obviously weary. He’d definitely put her through the paces today -- in more ways than one. That made him smile. Smugly.

*** Her body was broken, of that she was sure. No one had gluttonous sex like that and didn’t feel it afterward. Afterward. Ah, yes. Now they were in the awkward, what to say afterward stage. Whatever had come over them had happened with the speed of light and it had happened, she’d guess, against his better judgment. She’d never been taken that way before. Her experiences might be limited, but she knew a good fuck when she was given one. Captain Daring was prime fucking material. “You have a beautiful body, Kennedy,” Darren said from the other side of the bed, she supposed. She wasn’t opening her eyes to see if she was accurate. Could you rack up demerits for fucking your instructor in hero school? It was like that in the military. What if Edgar found out? Would she be kicked out? She found she didn’t want that. She wanted to tough this out. She wanted to prove to Captain Just Fucked Her Brains Out that she had it in her. More than anything, she wanted to prove that to herself. She wanted this stupid hero thing and the taste of that on her tongue was bittersweet. Like dark chocolate, stinging, yet delighting her taste buds.

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“Thank you,” she finally said. Because really, what did you say to a gen-u-ine hero when he told you that you had a beautiful body? “I’ve watched you all week,” he confessed, moving closer so she was reminded of the heat of his skin. His eyes bore familiar holes in her skin. She opened her eyes and stared back at him, defiantly daring him to keep being the kind of asshole he was so good at being even after they’d screwed. “You’ve tortured me all week. I get the funny feeling Latex Man hasn’t suffered half of the wrath I have from you.” “Yes, that’s true,” was the admission, matter of fact, but not nearly as distant as it had once been. “But he is a man of powers from birth, I suppose,” she said dryly. “Yep, he is.” “Which of course makes me Wannabe Woman.” “That’s true.” Those green eyes of his penetrated hers, asking something she didn’t know if she had the answer to. “You know, I didn’t fill out the special powers application of my own volition. I was asked to be here by the powers that be, according to Edgar. This grudge of yours is ridiculous. If you stopped being such a fucktard all the time, you might realize I didn’t horn my way in here. I worked in a mailroom. I sure as hell wasn’t prepared to have a Monday like the last one I had.” Darren continued to stare at her, the silence between them growing like a Chia Pet. She was just a little tired of the hard, cold gazes he bestowed upon her with regularity. “Look, it’s like this. Do you want OOMPH to shut down? Or do you want to give me the chance to prove I really want to do this and maybe save your job in the process?” “We weren’t meant to be like a State Farm commercial,” he said with a harsh snort. “This was a secret organization, formed due to our unique abilities at birth. You’ll

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make a joke of us and reveal us for no other reason than to salve the conscience of the people who formed this outfit.” She pointed a finger at him with accusation, poking it into his chest. “You know, you keep making it sound like I’m some total failure because I wasn’t given these powers at birth. You’ve set me up to fail before you’ve given me a chance to even try and succeed. I’m here to tell you, you arrogant, egomaniacal jerk, I’m going to prove you wrong. I don’t even know what your powers are. I sure haven’t seen anything spectacular from you,” she baited him, refusing to let him know that the fucking he’d just thrown her bordered just that. Spectacular. Chew on that, Captain Fuckhead! “They’re using you to bring some notoriety to OOMPH. Nothing more. They want recognition. They want big companies to funnel big money into this organization of misfits so they can thrive again.” Kennedy sat up abruptly and pulled away from him and his sculpted hotness. “So the fuck what? Doesn’t that beat having no one recognize you for the talents you were born with? Isn’t that why you’re here in the first place? Because you’re different? If you can save some lives or the world, for that matter, why wouldn’t you? And why wouldn’t you want that for the rest of the people here too? It isn’t just your job on the line, Captain Mouth. It’s Latex Man’s and Wonderslut’s and Straight Man’s too. What is it about you that makes you think the world is your oyster to pry open and closed at whim? You may be one of the better heroes here, stronger, faster, whatever, but you’re not the only one, you asshole!” She crawled off the bed with as much dignity as she could without letting him see how her body ached from his terrorist workouts. “They’ll make a joke of us, Kennedy, and that means they’ll make a joke of you too. You’re no heroine. A Power Puff girl, maybe, but a heroine? I don’t think so.” A Power Puff girl? The son of a flippin’ bitch.

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Darren swung his brawny, bronzed legs over the side of the bed and gathered his suit, zipping it up and pulling on his boots. “Oh, and by the way. One of my super powers, as you call it, is what helped you disrobe. It’s all in the eyes,” he said cockily. He left her quarters without another word about what an awful heroine she was going to be. His eyes? He’d zapped her suit? She stormed into her adjoining bathroom and reached up to yank her bathrobe off the hook on the door. Oh, God, that hurt. Her everything hurt. Her pride hurt and she’d be fucked and feathered if she’d let Captain Cock best her. Kennedy Smith was out to prove a point and it was time to give Darren as good as he got. After she had a good wrestle with the Bengay.

*** A thread of a chuckle, rife with maniacal satisfaction, wafted through the air while it watched Captain Daring leave Kennedy Smith’s quarters. Jealousy had torn at the gut of the watcher, until realization dawned. Captain Daring was simply using Kennedy Smith for sexual respite. Nothing more. Nothing less. The watcher would always be his heart’s desire. Eternally.

Chapter Five Kennedy aimed her gun at the target and pictured Captain Daring’s big, fat yap. Her shot was cool, crisp and clean. Everyone who was outside watching applauded. Everyone but the ass. She was almost into her third week at OOMPH and her grit and determination to shake her groove thang was paying off. She’d set a couple of more things on fire that shouldn’t be in the process, but she’d moved onto making a clean kill. Her eyes scanned the sky for Elemental Man to fly over the blue expanse and blow out the fire. “Nice job, miss,” Edgar congratulated her. “You’ve come a long way,” he said with his typically calm voice. She got the feeling that even if Edgar were in a whorehouse full of virgins, he wouldn’t get overly excited about anything. “Thanks, Ed.” She smiled prettily and turned to see Latex Man coming toward them over the green grass, his lean body taking the steps in rapid succession. “That was hot, Kennedy. You’re really good at that,” he complimented her openly, sneaking a glimpse at a stoic Darren. “Thanks, LM. I’m getting better.” “I’ll say. Isn’t she better, Captain Daring?” he prompted. “She’s improved,” he offered, giving her but a mere inch. His hard jaw ticked and she noted begrudging admiration in those cool eyes of his. Fine. So what. Big deal. She didn’t need his approval. Kennedy was finding that the cool distance he’d kept from her since they’d banged the living crap out of each other was just fine. Sex only complicated things.

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There were other, more gratifying things to do besides boink.

Like shoot targets cleanly and leap buildings with her new, kick-ass boots.

If she’d given their encounter a moment’s thought, that was a lot.

A lot of bullshit, but she had gotten good at kidding herself.

“Time for me to hit the showers, gentlemen.” Stopping by Darren, she gave him

a casual glance and said, “You know, a hard day’s training and all.” She gave him a squinted smile just before sprinting off, then hitting a full run, taking huge leaps with her boots. God, they were cool, she thought, just before smacking into the building that held her quarters, head first. Cool and very hard to control. Cheerist, that never hurt any less. No matter how many times she’d done it this past week. With a grimace, she headed straight for her quarters with the intention of a shower. Bengay wasn’t as much a part of her life as it had been a week ago, but she still suffered cramping. She was improving and soon, Edgar said, she’d be sent out on missions. They would be small at first, but she needed a gradual introduction to the world of saving lives. It also meant it was time to go back to FSB and the mailroom. Word was, she was going to be a plant there. Planted for what, she had no clue. She was still in the dark, but she was ready. More than ready. “Miss?” her intercom buzzed with the placid tones of Edgar.

She buzzed him in and smiled when he entered. He’d grown on her. His

easygoing persona was hard to resist. “Hey, Ed. What’s cookin’?” His hands were behind his back. “Whatcha got there, Ed?” He pulled a velvet, black box from behind his back with one hand, keeping the other behind him. “This is what’s cooking, miss.” Handing it to her, Edgar stepped back and folded his hands behind his back.

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“Ooohhh, are you trying to woo me, Edgar? I mean, I had no idea you felt this way,” she ribbed him, nudging his shoulder with hers. “I’d love to say I was responsible for this gift, miss. However, this is from the powers that be. Another perk, shall we say?” Kennedy popped open the top and had to cover her eyes momentarily from the bright glare. “What are these?” she exclaimed, her eyes watering from the glow. “Your earrings, miss. Shall I help you put them on?” It took a moment to adjust to them, but when she did, they appeared rather simple. “Earrings? What do they do?” Edgar chuckled. “They grant you the ability to fly, miss. It’s imperative that you keep them near at all times. In fact, I wouldn’t take them off.” Fly? Shut up! “No freakin’ way, Ed. I can fly?” “Yes, miss, but for now, you must promise me it will only be under the tutelage of Captain Daring. This is a heady power to bestow upon someone.” Oy. Captain Daring again. That was fine. She’d worked around him for two weeks, she could keep doing it. “I promise to be very careful. So how does this work? Do I have magic words? A password?” She stared at the small red studs and smiled. Red was completely in her palette of colors. “No, miss, it has to do with your body chemistry. It will also induce your official er, heroine costume.” Kennedy cocked her head and wrinkled her nose. “Induce?” “Yes, miss. When you say ‘suit, don’t fail me now,’ your clothes will be replaced by your suit. You just have to put it on once and it will always know its owner.” “Speaking of my costume, where is it?” She couldn’t do this gig in street clothes and she was a little worried about the powers that be and their notion she’d look hot in the suit. “Here, miss.” Edgar held out another slender box he produced from behind his back with a proud grin. It was black just like the jewelry case.

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She frowned. You couldn’t put a thong in that tiny box. “Um, I’m almost afraid to open it, Ed. What kind of a hero outfit can fit in that?” “Just open it, miss.” Kennedy plowed into the slim, rectangular box and raised an eyebrow. Oh, she was definitely going to have to wax to wear that. Like all the time. “Question?” “Miss?” “Who thought this contraption up? Some sadistic, angry, out of work ex Victoria’s Secret employee?” She held up the skimpy bodysuit made of small links of chain, string and a corset. It was red. A very nice shade of red. Not a whole lot of her was going to be covered. In fact, not much of her was going to be covered. How could she possibly leap tall buildings if she had to worry that her boobs would plop out? “No, miss.” Edgar shook his head. “No angry employees. The powers that be think you’ll be very fetching indeed in this.” “How fetching do you suppose I’ll be if the press gets a shot of this ass?” She pointed to her butt and grimaced. Edgar’s laugh, when he allowed it, was genuine because it was so rare. “Oh, miss, I daresay your back end is just fine.” “You devil, Ed. You’ve been checking out my butt, haven’t you?” she giggled and pinched Edgar’s cheek. The intercom buzzed once more. She pressed the button to answer. “Yes?” “Ms. Smith?” Darren. Edgar caught her rolling her eyes and Kennedy watched him fight to keep from smiling again. He knew well her agitation with Captain Daring. He’d heard it on more than one lunch break. “Captain Daring?” she returned with her newly acquired haughtiness. “Your presence is requested.”

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Did he always have to sound as if he was Moses, preparing to part the Red Sea and she should be grateful for the invitation? God, he was arrogant. “For?” “For what you’re here for, Ms. Smith. Training.” Kennedy gave Edgar a suspicious look, but he averted his eyes. Sighing long and loud into the intercom, she said, “When and where?” “Now and on the flight deck.” “I’ll be right there.” She let the red button go with a snap. Grabbing her boots, she looked at Edgar and said, “You and me. We’ll talk about this costume thing later. I have to go appease Captain Meanie Butt.” “Of course, miss.” Edgar nodded and left her room with quiet feet. Captain Daring really was the most irritating man she’d ever met. Yet, as hard as she tried not to let him get under her skin, the more he wedged underneath it. Her eyes spent most of her training on his ass. She admired his work ethic. She couldn’t seem to stop herself from doing it. Her thoughts often strayed to him when she was in bed at night, just before she fell asleep. Darren was smart and cranky. Unfortunately, cranky was what he spent most of his time being. Only a week ago, they’d been gnawing on each other’s fun stuff out of the blue and since then, it was as if nothing had ever happened. She showed up for training and he treated her like they were nothing more than trainer and trainee. And it was really pissing her off. Not that she wasn’t guilty of the same charges. Kennedy had spent the entire week acting like she did the bang and run thing all the time. It was the only way she could forget the most incredible sex she’d ever had. Striding down the long halls of OOMPH, she shook off the remnants of their encounter and focused on the business at hand. Staying one step ahead of Darren and proving she belonged here. Now, however, she no longer cared as much about proving it to him as she did about proving it to herself. She could do this. She would do this.

Chapter Six Pushing open the door of the launch pad, Kennedy stepped out onto the cement flooring with confidence. Darren waited for her by her car. His hot body leaned against it like he owned it, feet crossed at the ankles, arms crossed over his chest. Oh, her car! She never thought she’d be so happy to see her car, but there it was, in all its glory, somehow looking better than it ever had before. A fresh coat of sparkling blue paint had been sprayed on it and it had a sheen like it never had before. Rushing over to it, she ignored Captain Daring and ran a loving hand over the sky blue fender of her Pacer. “Ms. Smith,” Darren muttered, leaning over and looking her in the eye, blocking her view so that it was filled with nothing but his hunky face and those icy, green eyes. “Captain Daring. Why is my car here?” “Get in and I’ll show you,” he said formally, pushing away from her and rounding the back bumper to climb into the passenger side door. Kennedy climbed in, settling herself in the seat, and gasped at the dashboard. It had been revamped. Her old 8-track player was replaced with a newfangled gadget with lots of lights and buttons. Darren’s lean fingers pressed a large, black button and a voice, melodic and soothing, resonated through the interior of her car. “Hello, Kennedy Smith. What is your mood today?” She looked at Darren. “My mood?” “Yep. Etheria has calming qualities in her activation. Not only can she get you to where you need to go, but she’ll soothe you along the way. She’ll only respond to your voice. She has helpful tips to guide you through almost any crisis.” A therapist on wheels.

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“What is your mood today, Kennedy Smith?” Kennedy leaned forward into the new device and said, “Um, well, let’s see. I’m cool today, Etheria. Just peachy.” She gave Darren a “you can’t beat me down” look for good measure. Just so he knew she wasn’t curling up in defeat. “Cool?” Etheria repeated. “If you’re chilled, Kennedy, the heating system is located to the right of the --” She laughed, cutting Etheria off. “No. I meant I’m fine. Not cold.” “Of course, Kennedy,” Etheria responded with an even tone of compliance. Darren put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her back against the seat. “You don’t have to talk into it. Etheria can hear you.” Kennedy felt like an idiot. She was talking to her car, for Christ’s sake. A beat up old Pacer that had been pimped with a bunch of electronic gadgetry. “How are you today, Etheria?” Darren frowned at her, clearly mocking her attempt to make friends. “I am well, Kennedy.” Kennedy stuck her tongue out at Darren and patted the dashboard. “That’s cool.” “If you are chilled, Kennedy --” She laughed again. “No, Etheria. Cool can mean several different things. In this case, it means good. I’m glad you’re well.” “Thank you, Kennedy,” Etheria responded politely. “I hate to interrupt this bonding session, but could we get on with this?” Darren said with impatience lacing his tone. His face was set in a stern frown. “I do believe Captain Daring is cool today, Kennedy,” Etheria said. Kennedy snorted. “There is nothing cool about Captain Daring. I can guarantee it.” “No, Kennedy. Cool has several different meanings and in this instance, I meant Captain Daring was cold as in rude.”

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Laughter bubbled up from her throat and spilled out of her mouth before she could stop it. “Oh, Etheria. You’re cracking me up!” “Oh, dear, Kennedy. Cracking up can’t be cool,” was the automated response. She threw her head back and began to howl at the look of disgust on Captain Daring’s face. “What’s the matter, Captain Daring? You know, it really is okay to make friends with your co-workers. Jeez, you’re such a shit all the time. Always so cranky. Christ, doesn’t this place have happy pills? If they can give me earrings that make me fly, then they must have something to give you to lighten you the hell up.” His face was tight and his jaw muscles ticked. “I don’t need to lighten up. I’m here to work.” “Yeah, well, what do you do after work?” “I work.” “I should have known. Don’t you have any friends here at OOMPH?” “No.” “Never?” He shrugged his broad shoulders. “Once.” “And what happened?” “It didn’t work out.” “Work out? You mean you just couldn’t stay friends because you worked together.” “Something like that.” Evasive and distant should be super powers. Captain Daring had the market cornered on them. “I bet I know why it didn’t work out. Cuz you’re cranky, that’s why.” “Are we going to go over this car or talk about my personal life?” “Oh, absolutely. Forget I ever said a word about a personal relationship. Forget I ever mentioned you might have feelings,” she shot back sarcastically. “Show me how to work this contraption so I can go to bed.”

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- 50 -

They spent the better part of the next hour going over her technologically revamped Pacer. She had Internet access, a snazzy new seat belt system designed to hold her in place when she reached a high velocity of speed, a bunch of buttons that allowed her to bring up a map she couldn’t read and a killer stereo. “I think that’s it for me,” Kennedy said, pushing her seat back and pressing the state of the art seat belt button to pop it open. She was tired and she needed rest if she was going to master flying of all things. She pushed again. It wouldn’t budge. “Er, some help here would be incredibly generous of you. Not friendly. No, not by any stretch of the imagination should you consider helping me friendly, just generous.” She smiled and fluttered her eyelashes. “I promise not to tell anyone you were kind.” She looked at Darren with a smirk and waited. Smugly, like he was the only man alive who could help her, he reached over her and jabbed at the button. It wouldn’t release. He pushed the new steering column they’d put in her car up and detached the steering wheel, so he could have better leverage. Darren’s body, so close to hers, made her heart throb and her legs shake. Her stomach clenched into a tight fist. When his arm brushed her breast, it made her jump as far as the restraint would allow her to. “Hold still,” he demanded, tugging at the belt. He hovered over her, pressing into her while jabbing at the belt. The heat of his spectacular-ness was killing her. “Ow! You’re pulling my hair!” she yelped in an effort to move his sculpted chest from hers, cuz it was making her crazy. Hot, bothered, fidgety. Just plain crazy. He gazed down at her, their mouths but an inch apart. Green eyes, icy and hot at the same time, drank her in. A current of electricity snapped between them and their breathing grew short. Each heave of her breasts ground them into Darren’s chest and her nipples scraped against the Lycra jumpsuit she wore with delicious friction.

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Darren’s eyes roamed every inch of her face, stopping to land on her lips. Lips she nervously wet with her tongue. Her throat grew familiarly dry and her pulse skipped several beats. Placing his hands on her waist, he splayed them across her belly. The warmth they created made her cunt instantly wet. Their strong physical attraction was a magnet of emotions, lingering. It was thickly laced with a craving neither of them were capable of denying when they were in close proximity. Darren didn’t move and neither did Kennedy. Not a muscle twitched until, finally, she said, “Are we just going to eyeball fuck the shit out of each other, or are we going to do this?” The words escaped her mouth before she could stop them. She didn’t know that she wanted to stop them. She only knew that this magnetic pull between them was like a vortex of swirling, seductive velvety black. It called to her, clung to every nerve, made her ache for gratification. Her brazen statement was all the invitation he seemed to require. Darren swooped down on her lips, sliding his tongue between them and devouring her mouth with firm strokes. Her arms went around his neck, burying her hands in his thick, dark hair, arching into his body, supple and thick with muscle. Magically, the seat belt unlatched when she strained upward and Kennedy fought her way free of it, her lips never leaving his. The slick plunge of his tongue, coupled with his hands at her waist caressing her through the Lycra material, made her desperately need to have him. Darren yanked his head from hers and stared at her, cupping her cheeks with both big hands, his breath, heavy and ragged, fanning her face. “Hold on one minute. Don’t go shredding another perfectly good jumpsuit,” she warned as his eyes strolled over her breasts. “I can take it off,” she offered shakily and was rewarded with a heavy chuckle. She reached down and struggled to unzip her boots, shoving them off by using her feet and trying to avoid the foot pedals.

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Darren did the same and then returned to her lips, shoving the Lycra suit aside and down about her waist. They were cramped, making it hard for them to move, but somehow, they managed to find their way into each other’s clothing. Darren reached under him and slid his seat back, pulling Kennedy to his lap in the passenger side of the car. When she settled on him, his cock pressed thick and hard against her pussy, teasing her, begging her to impale herself on it. Her hands roamed over his shoulders, loving the thick, corded muscle of them, kneading them with hands that were greedy and restless. She tugged his zipper down with fumbling, impatient hands and dug inside to feel the heat of his skin against her palms. The flat disc of his nipple hardened to her touch and she rolled it between her fingers. Darren groaned into her mouth and tore at her suit, shoving his hands inside the waistband to cup her ass, pulling her flush to him, raising his hips to grind against her cunt. Shoving her suit to her ankles, she struggled to help him by lifting her own hips and letting him slide it over each foot. When she was naked, exposed to those green, icy eyes, he smiled at her briefly before laying his seat back and gripping her hips. He slid down in the seat to position himself between her legs. Kennedy gripped the top of the seat and clenched her eyes shut when his mouth began to roam over the smooth lips of her swollen pussy. Waxing, she thought for a vague, wild moment, was a very good thing indeed. Darren’s hot breath slithered over her cunt, whispering tendrils of electricity over her skin, making her nipples bead and tighten. She was impatient to have his tongue on her, desperate to feel his lips move against her clit. Yet he explored instead, with light kisses, soft nuzzles and gentle fingers, over the valley where her leg and hip met, along her inner thighs. With fingers that were slow, Darren parted her flesh and took a long lick, flattening his tongue and letting his mouth hover on her clit.

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- 53 -

Kennedy’s hips jolted hard against his face. Her breath, already rapid and choppy, stalled, leaving her heart crashing against her ribs. The slow rasp of his silken tongue was heaven, stroking her in long laps. A moan, low, husky and hot, escaped from her lips. Her knuckles were white from gripping the back of the seat. Her hips quivered and her thighs shook. Darren’s tongue circled her clit with lazy strokes, capturing it between his lips and suckling it. He slid a finger between the slick folds of her cunt to linger at her entrance. She bucked against his face, reaching a hand down to run through his hair. As she gathered him close, he slid a digit into her, and the world tilted. She saw flashes of light and all sound was eliminated but the sweet slap of his mouth against her flesh. The rising flood of orgasm became a tidal wave of furious need. The quest to come overwhelmed her, clawed at her pussy until she couldn’t stop it. She came, with flames licking at her cunt and Darren’s hot, silky mouth fucking her. Her breathing was out of control, ragged and sharp in the small car. Darren hauled himself up to sit erect again and she slumped forward against him. He enveloped her in his arms, hauling her against his strong chest and rubbing smooth circles on her spine. The act itself was so tender, she decided to revel in it and forget they were in a Pacer on the launch pad of OOMPH. Cupping her jaw, Darren lifted it so their lips found one another’s again. She tasted herself on his tongue. The need she’d just expended rose in her chest again, wending its way to her cunt with each slide of his tongue. Kennedy reached between them and caressed his cock, stroking the outline of it, thick and rigid. Darren muttered something when she pushed his jumpsuit off his shoulders and down his hips. Again, they struggled to disrobe, ending up leaving his suit at his thighs, allowing just enough room to free his cock. She firmly grasped it in her hands, taking long passes of his shaft. Luxuriating in its length, exploring the veins that lined it, thumbing the mushroom shaped cap, using the pre-come from the tiny slit to lubricate her journey.

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Darren captured a turgid nipple in his mouth, rolling his tongue over it, lubricating it with the moisture of his mouth. Kennedy burned to fuck him, to feel him drive into her. Without hesitation, she positioned his cock at her entrance and sank down on him, slow, in excruciatingly slick inches. Darren’s chest heaved. He let go of her nipple to bury his face in her neck, nibbling the skin, wetting it with his tongue. Hips gyrated, rolling in unison. The sweat of their bodies glued them together, making the slide of skin deliciously moist. Darren’s cock swelled within her, plunging deeper with each lift of her hips. Kennedy clung to him, frantically searching for relief from the call of climax. Their tempo increased, rapid and reckless. The taste of desire sat on the tip of her tongue, ready to explode with a fury. When Darren gripped her back with one hand and reached between them to fondle her clit, she couldn’t hold on any longer. She came again. It was hard, making her womb clench into a knot. It imprisoned her, wrapping its silken talons around her cunt and milking it. Darren’s hips lifted, driving himself into her one last time before he too came. The thick flood of semen erupted from him in surging jolts, his breath hissing from his lungs, his lips at her ear. The car grew heated and the windows steamy. Her legs were cramped and weak. She realized she’d have to look him in those very hard green eyes. She just wasn’t going to right now. For now, she would rest against the width of his chest and forget that while they boinked like sex starved lunatics, Captain Daring resented her presence at OOMPH. A knock at the window of the Pacer took them both by surprise. Darren wiped the window with his hand in a circular motion to reveal Latex Man framed in the shape he’d created with his hand.

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“Um, excuse me, but I’m going to pray you used one of these.” He held up a foil package and smiled. Kennedy couldn’t stop the bubble of laughter that welled in her throat. Oh, God, they’d forgotten to use a condom. Darren’s stern gaze softened just a bit and he said, “Uh, we’re good, Latex Man. Thanks.” Latex Man moved away from the car, leaving a resonant chuckle behind. “We didn’t use a condom,” she chastised. “We’re going to create little comic book heroes. This could be very bad, seeing as you’re procreating with a woman who isn’t really a hero by birth. Won’t that trash your lineage, Captain Daring?” His laugh was almost easygoing to Kennedy’s ears. “No, we won’t procreate. I’m genetically altered to have children when I’m ready, not before, and the best news of all, I’m disease free.” Oh, the wonders of OOMPH. “I am too, I think.” He nodded his head. “You are. We got the results back from your medical testing.” How nice to know she was free to schtupp without fear of passing on nasty diseases. “Um, okay, then. So now what do we do? Shake hands again like this never happened and go back to being the taunt-er and the taunted? Do we act like we have this past week? Like we didn’t screw each other’s brains out in my quarters while you rake me over the training coals? Gimme the skinny, so I know what’s expected of me.” Darren’s chest expelled a breath of air and with it followed a laugh that surprised her. “I’ve thought about what happened all week. I’ve acted like a real asshole, huh?” Looking down at him, Kennedy swallowed hard before saying, “Well, that was a tough admission, I’d bet. I mean, you can’t stop thinking about me, a lowly non-hero. The mind boggles.” “I don’t know what it is about you, Kennedy. You make me nuts. Yeah, I resent that OOMPH brought you here to play some kind of supermodel. Yeah, I do resent that

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- 56 -

you have no real powers other than what’s handed to you by the powers that be. Yet, I can’t resist you.” Kennedy slung her leg off him, and wedged back into her seat. Locating her jumpsuit, she struggled into it and grabbed her boots. Before exiting the car, she said, “You know what the real problem is, Darren?” She didn’t let him respond, but his mouth opened to do so. Pressing her fingers to his lips, she smiled ironically. “You like me. That’s what the problem is. Because I don’t have eyeballs that can cut through friggin’ steel walls and the ability to fly on my own, you’ve decided I’m not worthy. But again, the trouble is, you like me. You know, I don’t know what happened between you and that friend you couldn’t bring yourself to mention, but it had nothing to do with me. So the trouble is clear, Captain Daring. You’re holding a grudge and using me as your whipping boy. You go right ahead and do that. I don’t care what you say or do to me. Not in training and not in a Pacer. I’m liking it here at OOMPH and I’m going to be the best damned heroine I can -- with or without your approval.” Kennedy slung open the door and didn’t look back. She took confident, measured strides down the launch pad and headed back to her quarters. Her face held a slight smile. She was making Captain Daring nuts and she liked that. It would keep her warm tonight when she slept. Captain Daring had admitted he couldn’t resist her. Well, she did have hot boots.

Chapter Seven Kennedy sensed rather than saw the evil that lurked in the small cyber café she chose to dine in for lunch. Thankfully, she’d brought her purse with her and she dug through it for her glasses. They would be helpful in identifying the evil entity. Of course, she hadn’t worn them since the day in the garage with Edgar. She prayed they still worked. She was back at FSB now, working in the mailroom again, but with the added confidence and security that she had more purpose than delivering the mail to FSB execs. She couldn’t tell anyone that, but there it was. Her little secret. She kept it tucked away, but she walked with a new self-assuredness. She was officially Thunder Woman now. She’d been dubbed so by the powers that be and Edgar had given her a little ceremony, complete with comic book hero fanfare. Still, she had no clue what she was looking for at FSB from the mailroom. Apparently, evil lurked in the heart of letter openers. She just hadn’t been able to figure out which one. She saw the newsstand lady over in the corner, her auburn hair scraped back from her face and her hands neatly folded on the table. Kennedy raised a hand in greeting, but she looked away, lifting her jaw to avert her gaze. Again, the eerie ripple of trouble skittered up her spine and along her arms and she forgot the cold dismissal of a woman she’d been friendly with on many mornings. Her heart wasted no time in pumping adrenaline through her veins. Whatever was troubling her, it had her hackles up, but she was prepared. Well, sort of.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 58 -

Sipping her coffee, trying to look like she was a nonchalant patron of the café, Kennedy surreptitiously eyed the nearby tables. Most everyone was ensconced in their laptops or on a cell phone. Everyone except the well dressed man with the razor stubble. His suit was immaculate, but his lined face and shadowed eyes belied the crisp exterior of his Giorgio Armani. He was bald, but for the flap of hair he wrapped around his head -- it was untidy and probably not the work of art he’d hoped for. Nervous fingers tapped the side of his cup and he chewed on his lip like he was gnawing on indecision. He was the bad guy. The glasses said so. Her eyes zeroed in on him and focused, trying to understand his intent. His arsenal of criminal issues zipped through her head. Let’s see. He’d cheated on his taxes for five years in a row. Well, that was bad, but certainly not devious or at least devious in terms of the demise of the planet. Everyone cheated on their taxes to some degree at one time or another. He’d done some gambling in his time… Okay, so he gambled. Big deal. What the hell was it with these damn glasses anyway? Shouldn’t he have something far worse on his record than tax evasion? Like a plot to rule the world? If he did, the glasses sure weren’t telling her about it. Nonetheless, he had a malevolence about him that warranted the glasses detecting him. He sat at a corner table and sipped his coffee, his eyes darting in every direction and his hand trembling when he lifted the cup to his mouth, but he sure wasn’t whipping out a weapon of mass destruction. She’d just have to wait for him to make his move. Crap, this was hard. She couldn’t just jump up and say, “Look out! Bad guy! My ‘special’ glasses say so.” Who’d believe that? They’d think she was a psychotic nut. However, Kennedy didn’t have to wait for long. One moment the café had a quiet lunch crowd buzz to it and the next, chaos erupted like a heaving volcano.

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Blunder Woman

- 59 -

The man in the suit bolted from his seat, sloshing his coffee when he lunged toward the counter and the young cashier who was behind it. The coffee cup wobbled, then fell to the floor with a crash of ceramic. It skittered across the tiled floor, leaving a puddle of coffee in its wake. The café patrons sat for a moment in wide-eyed disbelief before chairs scraped the floor and everyone ducked under their tables. The man in the suit grabbed for the cashier just five tables from Kennedy and gripped her neck, hauling her back against him. Sweat dripped from his forehead in streams of salty beads. His arm trembled and his upper lip quivered. Kennedy fought to collect her thoughts and remember what Darren had taught her. Let him make his demands, watch his eyes for signs and never let your focus stray from his weapon. Kennedy’s fingers rose to her ears, her pulse pounding in them as she touched the earrings. “Suit, don’t fail me now,” she whispered. With little fanfare her clothes were replaced by the costume she’d been not so thrilled with. If anyone noticed, she was unaware. Her focus remained on the man at the counter, dragging the cashier back, her feet stumbling and tripping against the floor. “No one move!” he yelled, his voice laced with hysteria. “No one move and I won’t hurt her. If anyone moves, I’ll kill her and all of you!” To emphasize his threat, he pulled out a pistol and held it to the cashier’s head. Her terror was silent, palpable, flagrantly visible. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes and her body rocked with her trembling. Kennedy reached around her, finding the gun that her costume holstered securely to her hips. She gulped. Well, it was now or never. With dexterity she didn’t know she possessed, Kennedy pulled the gun from her hip and held it up, aiming it at the man in the suit. “Don’t move,” she said, hissing the words meant to be a threat.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 60 -

A tugging at her boot distracted her. She shook her leg and tried to catch a glimpse of what it was, but it was damned hard when you weren’t supposed to take your eyes off the bad guy. “Psst,” a whisper from the floor said. “Lady!” “What,” she said from the corner of her mouth, eyeballing the cashier who was stricken with panic. “Turn-the-gun-around,” was the hissing reply. Looking down the butt of the gun, Kennedy groaned. For fuck’s sake, she was pointing the wrong end of it at him! With a flick of her wrist, Kennedy flipped the gun. “Thanks,” she muttered back. “No problem,” was the response. “Don’t move and you won’t get hurt,” she ordered. Wow, that was impressive. Very authoritative and said with meaning. Yay her. “Who the fuck are you?” he yelled. A perfect time to identify herself. A perfect opportunity to garner just the kind of press OOMPH wanted. “I’m Thunder Woman. Put the gun down. Now.” His face distorted in a mocking smile. “Who?” “Thunder Woman. Now put the gun down and I won’t have to hurt you.” Oh, she was getting better at this. Much better. There wasn’t a tremble to be heard in that statement. Niiiice. The stir of some waiters standing behind him, immobilized in fear, made her send them a silent message with her eyes. Okay, so they didn’t look as much afraid as they did curious. They were pointing at her and whispering in each other’s ears in what was clearly amusement. Were they making fun of her costume? Wait, was her butt hanging out? How dare they! “Are you some kind of crazy lady?” he asked, gripping the cashier tighter.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 61 -

Kennedy rolled her eyes. “I’m Thunder Woman and if you don’t put the gun down and let the girl go, things could get ugly pretty quickly.” Yeah, see? I got your number. “Lady,” he shouted back with maniacal laughter threading his words, “you have a water gun. I have a real gun,” he scoffed with a challenge. Ya know, she was damned tired of everyone making fun of her gun. It was degrading and quite frankly, she wasn’t going to have it. “Don’t make me show you my water gun. Let the girl go and put the gun down.” His captive finally found her voice. It quaked with terror. “Lady, I don’t know who you are, but please, let him have what he wants!” How many times had she identified herself? “I’m Thunder Woman. I’m here to save you. Stay calm and everything will be fine.” A ripple of hushed cackles wafted over her feet. The café goers obviously didn’t think she was terribly serious. How utterly humiliating… However, she had a job to do. Straightening her shoulders, Kennedy glared at the bad guy, giving him her best “don’t fuck with me” look. “I said, let the girl go and drop the gun and everything will be fine.” “Or you’ll what? Hose me to death with your squirt gun?” he laughed harshly, his brooding face fashioned in a smug smile. When all was said and done, everyone would have to admit, he had asked for it. He’d taunted her about her gun. It just wasn’t nice. From wherever a hero gets his gumption, Kennedy summoned hers and aimed for the planters behind the group of waiters. She’d only meant to scare him. That someone’s hair was singed and pitchers of water were thrown, thus making her slip and fall into the bad guy when she rushed to put out the waiter’s hair, was in Kennedy’s mind, incidental. She had saved the cashier.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 62 -

Sprained the poor thing’s wrist when Kennedy slammed into the bad guy because she fell and landed awkwardly, but she’d saved her, damn it. Everyone seemed to be forgetting that. Captain Daring in particular had forgotten. He was sitting at his desk, his long legs on it, crossed at the ankles, reading the front page headline and chuckling. “Thunder Woman or Blunder Woman?” was what it read. God, she wanted to crawl into a hole, pull the dirt over her head and forget yesterday had ever happened. Kennedy refused to back down. She looked Darren straight in the eyes. “I did save a cashier, you know.” He nodded his dark head. “Yep, Blonder Woman, ya sure did.” He began to laugh, obviously at his own clever slur on her title. Crossing the room, she angrily flicked the newspaper with her finger and he set it down on his desk. His mouth fought a smile. “Look, it was my first attempt at saving a life, for crap’s sake. Don’t I get some kudos for realizing he was a bad guy to begin with? God, what do I have to do to get some respect here?” “You did a fine job, Kennedy,” he said from the side of his mouth. Sighing, Kennedy narrowed her eyes at him. Their silent truce had been in effect since that night in her Pacer. Darren didn’t make any moves to endear himself to her heart, but he hadn’t razzed her much either. “Are the powers that be pissed?” she asked, her question filled with worry. Darren shook his head and chuckled again. “I think you’re safe this time. I told them, that’s what they got for snatching up a newbie and throwing her out there so soon. Too soon, if you ask me.” Kennedy nodded. Her placement back at FSB had been rather quick, even for her own tastes. “Why am I back at FSB anyway? What’s going on there that I’m supposed to be looking for?” “Federal Security Bureau has a leak. A leak we can’t seem to stop up. We don’t know where it is. We only know someone’s been leaking critical information to outside

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- 63 -

sources. In other words, when the FSB goes in for a bust, there’s nothing to bust because someone is hacking the computers and thwarting their efforts.” “What busts are we talking about here?” “All sorts of busts. Drug rings, weapons. You name it, whoever it is has leaked it. Given the heads up in warning to the drug lord or whatever and they escape, clean as a whistle.” Pushing her hair over her shoulder, Kennedy grimaced. “So I have no leads, no particular suspects, I’m just supposed to know who this person is?” “Your heightened awareness will alert you. Your senses are keen now, Kennedy. It’s what helped you catch the guy in the café. Even if you did manage to set someone’s hair on -- on --” he choked again with renewed zeal, “-- fiiiiireee.” He came close to squealing the last word, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. Kennedy began to laugh too. Simply because she couldn’t stop from remembering the look on the bad guy’s face when she’d caught him. Her tight, revealing red suit had his eyes locked on her breasts in what had appeared to be shock. “Okay, so I blundered. It’s bound to happen when you don’t have any experience. I’d bet the head fry lady at The Burger Emporium burned herself a few times before she got them just right. I’ll get better,” she said with a nod of reassurance. “Speaking of The Burger Emporium, you wanna grab a little dinner?” Kennedy raised an eyebrow. “Are you asking me out, Captain Daring?” “I think I am, Blund -- er, Thunder Woman.” “Fine,” she acquiesced. “But there will be absolutely no more joking about my busting that guy in the café. I was under a lot of pressure. Besides, you try getting anyone to take you seriously in an outfit that’s the size of a handkerchief. It ain’t easy.” Taking her hand, Darren smiled, this time with a lascivious nature to it. “I have to admit, the powers that be weren’t wrong when they said they thought you’d look hot in the costume.” “Be still my beating heart. Did you just compliment me? I don’t know what to say, Captain Daring.”

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 64 -

“Say you’ll buy dinner.” Rolling her eyes, she tagged along behind him, catching glimpses of his hot butt along the way. “All right. I’ll buy.” “I eat big,” he warned. “I’d expect nothing less for a big, strapping hero,” she chuckled. They found her Pacer waiting on the launch pad and climbed in. When the ignition started, Etheria greeted them. “Hello, Thunder Woman and Captain Daring. A most joyous evening to you both.” “Hey, Etheria. How’s it going?” “Is that a pleased tone to your voice, Captain Daring?” Etheria seemed as surprised as Kennedy was. Darren shrugged. “I guess it is, Etheria.” “What a wonderful turn of events for you, Captain Daring. I daresay, this is quite an epiphany. How do you feel about this, Captain Daring? Have you finally found peace?” Etheria’s serene, monotone automated voice questioned. “Um, I don’t need therapy today, Etheria. You’re Kennedy’s car. Therapy her.” He sounded uncomfortable with the question and why did he need peace? “I see we still cannot share our feelings openly, Captain Daring. A trait we’ve discussed much on the matter of you.” What? Did the fricken’ cars talk amongst themselves? Even if they were right on the money about Darren. “I have nothing to share, Etheria. I’m well,” Darren offered by way of sidestepping Etheria’s statement and being as honest as he was capable of, Kennedy supposed. “We’re over that dreadful woman, then, Captain Daring?” the car prodded. Woman? What woman? And a dreadful one at that. Kennedy chose to remain silent and wait for Darren’s response. “I think that’s enough for now, Etheria.” Darren clicked Etheria off without warning, leaving an uncomfortable silence in the car.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 65 -

“So, I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark here and guess you don’t want to tell me what Etheria is talking about?” “Good stab,” he responded without looking at her and pressing the button to open the launch pad doors. They took off with a jolt of flames spitting from the exhaust and a roar of powerful newly installed engine. Kennedy twirled her hair and pursed her lips. “Okay, look. This is stupid. Why don’t you just tell me what happened between you and this dreadful woman. Is it what makes you so cranky? Because you are very cranky and I don’t think it’s fair that you take whatever she did out on me.” So there… He finally glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “I don’t see how sharing my feelings will change anything.” “Yeah, that’s your problem. Sometimes, if you just let it all go, it changes the severity of it. It can become really big in your mind, when in actuality, it’s a much smaller problem.” His sigh was raspy and like she’d pulled his teeth to make him talk, but he gave her the scoop in one, big blob. “I dated a woman at OOMPH. She had super powers and one of them was a super obsession with me. When things didn’t work out, she went off the deep end. She almost got all of us killed when we were on a mission to save the world. She was this close…” he held his index finger and thumb together, “…to letting some whack launch a missile with nerve gas in it that wouldn’t have just wiped out me and OOMPH, but one hundred thousand or so civilians in the process. All because she was angry with me. Is that big enough for you? Or are the lives of almost one hundred thousand just chump change to you?” Oh. Well, shit. That was a big ta-do. All righty, so the problem wasn’t smaller than a breadbox.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 66 -

“Okay, so hold on here. What does that have to do with me? I mean, I don’t have any nerve gas. I don’t even have intestinal gas,” she joked, hoping he saw that he really couldn’t be responsible for someone else’s actions. He laughed. “No, you don’t have nerve gas, but getting involved with her meant my judgment was clouded. I didn’t want to see the signs that she was giving me because I liked her. They were clearly written on the wall. I chose to ignore them. When I called things off between us, she slipped right over the edge. While trying to take me with her, she jeopardized a mission and a whole lotta people.” Rubbing her hands on her thighs, Kennedy still couldn’t see the problem. That was probably because she didn’t have the evil gene that would require her to even consider doing something so horrible over a man. “Okay, so she tried to obliterate you and a bunch of people, but she didn’t, now did she? What happened to her anyway?” Darren shrugged his shoulders and ran a hand over the stubble on his face with a weary grimace. “I don’t know. She disappeared. We caught the guy with the nerve gas, but in the chaos of it all, she vanished. It also left a pretty bad taste in some of OOMPH’S sponsors’ mouths. One of our own had attempted to kill us. We looked like asses. Not a single super power any of us possessed helped us to figure out she was a bad seed.” Aha! It troubled him that not only was he the cause of this woman’s obsession, not to mention it made them all look like idiots, but that she’d gotten away with no repercussions. Kennedy put a hand on Darren’s arm for a brief moment. “So you screwed up. You didn’t read the signs that all good heroes should when maniacal forces lurk. It’s over now and if you hang onto it, it’ll fuck up a good thing.” “A lot of lives were at stake,” he reiterated, that tic in his jaw visibly agitated. “Tell me something.” “What?” he asked, looking at her for the first time since they’d begun this conversation. “This woman have a name?”

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Blunder Woman

- 67 -

“Chameleon.”

“What super powers did this dreadful Chameleon woman have? The power to

blend, I’d assume.” “Yep. And invisibility. She could remain invisible for extended periods of time.” Why the hell was it that the rogue super chicks got all the cool powers and she ended up with a costume that even a runway model wouldn’t wear? “Like I said, it’s over now. Let it go, Darren, and stop being such a creep because some woman took her baggage out on you. You’ll fuck up a good thing.” Darren tilted his head, the evening light casting sharp edges to his profile. “Yeah? What good thing is that?” Kennedy smiled, pleased with herself. “That good thing is me.”

Chapter Eight “Well, Captain Daring, thanks. I had a great time. You’re not such an asshole when you’re shoving a super-deluxe bacon cheeseburger with all the fixings down your throat.” Kennedy had walked Darren to his room this time. She’d enjoyed their meal together so much, she didn’t want to spoil it by taking a chance they might end up on her mattress, naked and horizontal again. When Darren made his next move, it wouldn’t just be out of lust. It would be due to the fact that he respected her and wanted to consider pursuing something more than just the boink they both left with a lingering thread of anger. “I should thank you,” he said, moving closer to her, letting the heat of his body whisper over hers. She put her hands behind her back to keep from touching him. “Yeah, seeing as I think I unloaded a whole paycheck on your deluxe, double combo meal. Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re a cheap date, bud.” Darren smiled at her and took another step toward her. Kennedy rocked back on her heels and avoided his nearness. “Next time dinner’s on me. So, I guess this is where we say goodnight?” he asked, leaning forward and putting his face in hers, all handsome and stuff. “It is, Captain Daring.” She held out her hand between them, offering a handshake. He plucked at her fingers. “What is that?” “My hand.” “I see that. I want your lips.” “Um, no.” “Whaddya mean, no?”

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 69 -

“I mean no. No lips, just hand.” “What kind of cheesy goodnight is a handshake?” “The kind that puts you in your room and me in mine. Alone.” “I kinda like us in a room together. It has to be more comfortable than your Pacer.” “I’m sure it is, but no. No more rooms until we come to some sort of understanding.” “Oh, I understand you, Kennedy,” he said with a grin, snaking an arm out to grab hold of her waist and drag her to him. She didn’t struggle, but she didn’t give in either. Kennedy lifted her chin up and peered at him. “No, you don’t. You just want to screw and then keep right on being the shithead you’ve been to me. I don’t like it and I won’t have it. It takes a lot more than this weapon of mass destruction to have me, Darren,” she said as she grabbed his crotch and gave a playful squeeze to his cock. A cock that was already hard. Damn, turning him down wouldn’t be easy. “Yep,” he murmured. “That’s true, I do want to screw. I can’t help myself when I’m around you. But I’m working on the shithead thing,” he joked. Laughing, she shook her head. “That’s not good enough. I don’t just want to screw and pretend like whatever it is between us isn’t happening the rest of the time.” His tongue traced her upper lip and she tried to wiggle away in response, but there was no getting away from Darren’s hold. “So what do you want, my class ring or something?” “I want respect, Darren. Respect for the fact that I’m here trying. In fact, I’m trying harder than I ever have before with almost anything in my life and I want honesty. You like me. You know you do. When you like me enough to want to hang out with me like we did tonight, aside from the screwing, then and only then, will I consider the screwing again.” “Oh, I like you,” he said huskily, clamping her body to his. “I like you plenty.”

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 70 -

“You like my boobs, not my brain,” she retorted, fighting the rush of heat to her pussy when he nibbled her neck. “I wouldn’t have approached you in the first place if I didn’t like your brain, Thunder Woman. I don’t fuck stupid women.” “Ahhhh, but --” Oh, those lips on her ear, circling it with his silken tongue. Struggling, she tried to put a sentence together. “But, do you want to consider the possibility that we might be able to date within the confines of OOMPH and let go of the crap that sounds more like an angst ridden, tortured romance novel hero than a hero who can potentially save the word? Did save a good portion of the world for that matter,” she reminded him. “I already have considered it,” he stated while dragging his hands over her ass and hauling her closer still. “And your conclusion was?” She was not letting go of this. No chance. No matter how enticing those lips on her neck were and not even if he copped a feel. Which he did, running his thumbs over her nipples, pressing against the thin material of her Tshirt. “My conclusion was, we are attracted to one another and there isn’t any reason why we can’t see what happens.” Well, that was something in her favor, but it wasn’t enough and he wasn’t making this easy. “Do you want to see what happens exclusively in the bedroom, or outside of it too?” “I did ask you out tonight, didn’t I?” He began to slip his hands inside her jeans, caressing the swell of her belly, melting her resolve. “You did,” she whispered weakly when he pressed his lips to the side of her mouth. The warm tendrils of heat were replaced by hot sparks of electricity, the kind that were becoming all too familiar when they were near each other. “And did we eat those hamburgers in the bedroom?” His question was punctuated by small flicks of his tongue. “Nooooo,” she gasped, clutching his shoulders.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 71 -

“Then, I’d say I’ve been considering something more than just screwing,” he taunted, finally placing his lips fully to hers. Oh, she was a weak, weak woman. Her knees became boneless and her spine automatically arched toward him. There was just no resisting Captain Daring when he was cajoling her with his hands and mouth. She was going to give in and she knew it. Cupping her sex, Darren splayed his fingers over it, running small circles over the apex of her thighs. Reaching behind them, he popped open the door to his quarters and with a blur of motion, they were in his room with the door shut behind them. And then, they were all over each other, heaving, gasping for air and clawing at each other’s clothing. In moments, they were both naked and Darren scooped her up, laying her on the bed. She paid little attention to her surroundings, noting only that his sheets were stark and white. Then he was lying over her, looking down into her face, exposing her with those laser green eyes. He sat astride her, surrounding her hips with his thick thighs, cupping her breasts and fondling them before leaning over her to take a nipple in his mouth and swirl his tongue over it. Bucking beneath him, she arched into his caress, whimpering when his wet mouth clung to her nipple. The wet heat made her pussy clench and her head spin. The fire that raged through her and clung to every nerve needed quenching. She wanted it as soon as possible. First, she wanted to taste the man that filled her with such uncontrollable lust. With a deft slide of her body, she used his thighs for leverage and brought him to sit on her chest. The thick girth of his cock stood temptingly before her lips, long and hot. She grasped his shaft and stroked him, cupping his balls with a gentle knead. His hands went to her hair, clutching fistfuls of it. His demand rang in her ears, burning them. “Suck me, Kennedy. I’ve thought about this since I met you. Put me in your mouth and lick me, now.” His request was thick and spoken with a growl of hunger. She did as he told her, wrapping her lips securely around him. His groan was long, spilling from his throat,

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- 72 -

and it encouraged her to take him deeper. She wasted no time, swirling her tongue over the veined length of him, taking long, hot passes of tongue and lips. Darren’s hips thrust against her mouth, her nose buried in the crisp pubic hair at the top of his shaft he plunged so deeply. Tilting her head back, she took him deeper, letting her tongue roll over him. The slick sound of flesh being suckled made her cunt wet, needy, and she ached to have him in her. His hands tugged at her hair, pulling it into his fist while he fucked her mouth, and when she felt the pulse of his cock beneath her tongue rage, he pulled away, moving down her body and lifting her legs to rest on his forearms. Darren’s eyes sought hers, the ice in them replaced with flames, and it made Kennedy’s heart stir and crash against her ribs. Lifting her hips, she said, “Fuck me, Darren. Fuck me now.” It came out as a whimper, desperate and pleading. He speared her with his cock, driving into her almost before she’d finished the request. His entry was slick and hot and Kennedy lifted herself on her elbows to reciprocate, letting her head fall back on her shoulders. The delicious width of him was almost more than she could bear. It drove her to near madness with the sheer intensity of it and she lifted herself higher, taking more of him. Driving deeper, Darren clenched his teeth, his neck grew tense and the sinewy muscles of his arms flexed. Placing her hands on his chest, she gripped his pecs and kneaded them, hoping to hold on a little longer to the exquisite edge of the precipice he held her at. It was useless. The flood of heat Darren was so skilled at creating overwhelmed her and she hit the wall with a crash of electric heat. It flooded her, making her pussy clench and her thighs spasm. Her nerve endings caught fire and she came with a howl of release. Darren plunged into her one last time before he too came in a flood of hot semen. Flopping down on her, he smiled against her breast. She could feel the upward tilt of his mouth. “Wasn’t that better than some old handshake?”

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Blunder Woman

- 73 -

She laughed, still gasping for breath. “Are you joking with me again, Captain Daring? The world must have come to a screeching halt when I wasn’t looking.” “Yeah, I think I am,” he confessed. “You soooo like me,” she teased, running her hands over his damp hair. “Maybe I do,” were the last words he whispered before his breathing became even and the steady rise and fall of his chest and the warm bulk of his body lulled Kennedy to sleep.

*** Kennedy woke to the sound of Edgar’s voice on Darren’s intercom. “Miss? Miss, it’s Edgar. Open up immediately!” He sounded frantic. Something she wasn’t used to when it concerned Edgar. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she realized Darren was gone. He was probably out running twenty miles just prior to doing six hundred crunches and eating plutonium for breakfast. She chuckled to herself. They’d made progress last night and the warmth that remained in her belly had wormed its way into her chest. “Hang on, Edgar.” She rushed to find something to slip on, grabbing Darren’s Tshirt discarded on the floor. His scent lingered on it, cool and spicy. She held it to her nose. Pressing the button for entry, she let Edgar in. His face was a mask of worry. “What’s wrong, Edgar?” He was freaking her out. “It’s Captain Daring, miss.” “What? Did he break a tooth snacking on bullets?” she joked. “No, miss. He’s in danger. Grave danger.” The hackles on her neck rose. “What? Where is he?” “He’s missing.”

Chapter Nine It all happened so fast. She had little time to think while racing over the stark terrain of a mountain road in her Pacer. Thankfully, Etheria was here to calm her. “I don’t know how I couldn’t see this, Etheria. I’m a fricken comic book hero, for God’s sake, and yet, I didn’t see the obvious. What happened to all of that heightened awareness I was supposed to have? How could I have not known this woman we call dreadful was the plant at FSB?” “You mustn’t blame yourself. You didn’t have all of the information you needed. Had Captain Daring been more forthcoming, you certainly would have picked up on the signs,” Etheria soothed. She could just slap herself. She’d spent the past week hovering at the water cooler of FSB’s coffee room and listening in on conversations that were now pointless. “She was the newspaper stand lady?” she asked again in disbelief. “Indeed. Her cover was well designed.” Kennedy took a steep curve with an adept hand to the wheel. “Jesus! Now, we suspect this is the woman Darren was involved with, right?” “Yes. Her note did say she wanted you and you alone to meet her. All evidence points to her. You are, after all, involved with Captain Daring. I’m positive that does not please her.” Really? Huh. Tough shit. “Who said I’m involved with Captain Daring? And this is the woman who had the power of invisibility, right?” “Yes, Kennedy.” Fucking great. How did you top that? All she could do was fly and jump. Big damned deal. You could fly and jump all you wanted, but it sure wasn’t going to help if you couldn’t see your opponent.

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Blunder Woman

- 75 -

“I sense distress in you.” “Really? Go figure, huh? I mean, I have one life saved to my credit and I did kind of fumble through it and now, I’m supposed to save Captain Daring of all people. A guy who has some serious birth given super powers, while mine are manufactured. A guy who dogged me every step of the way while I tried to train. A guy who really isn’t all on board with me being at OOMPH. Call me overreacting, but yeah, I’m stressed.” “I have faith, Kennedy. You are Thunder Woman, no matter how your powers came to be.” Fabulous. A title and a pair of earrings. Earrings… Her hands went immediately to her ears. Fuck! She didn’t have her earrings! “I have bad news, Etheria.” “And that is?” “I forgot my God damned earrings!” “Oh, my, that is a dilemma.” “I can’t go back. I’ll be late and God only knows what she’ll do to Darren.” Jesus, this was bad, very bad. “Do you have your gun, Kennedy, and your boots?” She sighed with a bit of relief. “Yes. Yes, I do.” “Then, you must rely on your wits to save Captain Daring.” Terrific. That’d be a huge help in the effort to thwart evil. “What is this woman’s problem anyway, Etheria?” “She wants Captain Daring and she doesn’t want anyone else to have him. That includes you. She’d rather see the entire world obliterated than let that happen.” Fucking ducky. It was like some pathetic country song. If I can’t have you, no one will and I’ll kill myself and my dog too… She pulled off at the mountain road her fancy navigation system led her to and sat for a moment, staring at the mouth of a dark cave.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 76 -

She was petrified. Alone and petrified. The request had been specific. No one was to come with her to save Darren, or she’d kill him. “What was this woman’s name again when she was with OOMPH?” “Her name was Chameleon.” Right, she’d forgotten. The woman who could blend. “How could she have possibly gotten hold of Captain Daring? Are her powers stronger than his? I don’t get it.” “I would suspect she lured him with the risk of your being hurt if he didn’t go with her, Kennedy. Yes, Captain Daring has great powers. However, Chameleon has a more powerful pull in you. She used you to get Captain Daring at her bidding.” So Darren had gone with the nut to fricken’ save her blundering ass. Gripping the steering wheel, she took a deep breath. One good turn deserved another. Just before shutting off the ignition, a thought occurred to her. “Hey, Etheria? Does Captain Daring have a weakness? You know, like kryptonite or something?” “Indeed, he does, Kennedy. You and your safety. It will bring him to his knees if you’re in any kind of danger. That happens when your soulmate arrives. He isn’t aware of it yet and neither were you, but you are bound by fate. This is critical information you must take with you. We’ve all always known Captain Daring couldn’t be infallible, though evidence stated otherwise. However, now we know you are his kryptonite in the oddest of ways. He will be immobilized with his need to protect you and unable to for fear Chameleon will seek retribution. Captain Daring just won’t take the kind of risks he might have otherwise taken with someone else. This, I’m afraid, is all up to you.” “My soulmate?” Her voice held outrage. “How could you tell me a thing like this now, Etheria? I mean, we just had a hamburger, for Christ’s sake! That doesn’t mean we’re soulmates. He doesn’t even like me, let alone love me!” “Ah, Kennedy. Already you’ve developed warm feelings for Captain Daring and a hamburger wasn’t all you had,” she admonished. “He, too, admires you, though

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- 77 -

begrudgingly. However, should you remain here, arguing the merits of my statement, you could lose your opportunity to find out if what I speak is true.” “Okay, but we have some talking to do if, er, when I come back. You got that, Etheria?” “Yes, Kennedy.” “Fine, I’m on my way. If I don’t come back, tell Edgar I’m going to kill him via the use of the afterlife for getting me into this mess.” Etheria’s chuckle, while automated, was rich, filling the car. “I shall, Thunder Woman. A safe journey to you.” She flipped off the ignition and took another deep breath. Ready or not, Thunder Woman was on the loose.

*** Wow. This Chameleon chick meant fricken’ business, Kennedy thought while creeping along the wild twists and turns of the cave she’d been summoned to. This was some setup and all to get a man? It appeared that Chameleon needed some self-esteem courses, pronto. When she rounded the corner of the torch lit cave, she found herself at the edge of a room, lined with all sorts of geeky computers she wouldn’t understand even if OOMPH implanted the knowledge in her brain. She just wasn’t a techie and she was crossing her hero fingers that she wouldn’t need to rely on anything other than sheer brawn. Especially seeing as she was without her earrings. What kind of hero forgets their most powerful weapon? A wet behind the ears one. A growl from the corner of the rocky room caught her ears and she scanned the room for it. Darren. Tied to what looked like an electric chair. His mouth was taped shut and he had a bunch of wires attached to him. The only thing she could see was his eyes and he was

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- 78 -

sending her a frantic message with them, she just couldn’t clearly read it. She needed to get closer. Hoo boy, this was bad. Kennedy couldn’t see anyone else but Darren, so she made her way across the dirt floor to him, clinging to her gun while he shook his head, fighting the bonds that held him. His hair was saturated with sweat, glistening and dark in the eerie dim of the cave. Shoot, he had nice highlights, she thought crazily, moving in on him and glancing to the left and the right for cover. Wherever Chameleon was, she wasn’t in here. She took another sigh of relief and tried to still her pounding heart. She grabbed for the tape that bound Darren’s mouth and said, “This is going to hurt, I think. You know, there were better ways for you to get my attention than hang out with some raving, jealous, nut job woman, Darren. “I mean, really,” she said, gripping the ends of the tape and hoping to distract him from the pain this would surely cause, “she’s a lunatic. Did you hear me? Loon-atic, with a capital L. Crazy, certifiable and apparently, wants me dead, or you, or both of us. I’m a little unclear as to her motives. Oh, and guess what? I forgot my damned earrings, so I think flying us on outta here just ain’t happenin’ this life saving mission time ’round. God, I feel like an idiot and before you tell me I am, I did remember my boots. So we can jump out of here if need be. “That’s another thing. Etheria told me you’re powerless to save me because I’m like your kryptonite. What a fucking crazy thing that is. How could that be? It means you can’t ever save my ass. I’m always going to have to do the saving. It could get tedious, me chasing after you all the time. Or does this just mean you won’t be the daring guy you were named for because you dig me? Like you can save me, but if some other nut takes you hostage, you’ll give up your life for mine? “I need details. Details, I tell you. How can I be soulmates with someone I know nothing about? Well, except the cranky part about you. That’s all I know. And you’re

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good in bed. Did I mention that? If not, now’s as good a time as any. Anyhoodles, Etheria told me that stuff too. You’re my soulmate. You see, I knew you liked me. I just knew it. Okay, here-goes-nothing.” After a long-winded ramble due to an extreme case of nerves, Kennedy gave a yank to the tape on Darren’s mouth and his growl of pain pinged off the cave walls. “I’m sorry,” she sympathized with a coo, running her fingers over his lips that were now raw from the rip of the tape. She began to attack the doodads attached to his wrists, but Darren stopped her. “Don’t, Kennedy! Woman, pay attention and shut up. If you take these off my arms and ankles, we’ll be blown to smithereens! I’m the trigger.” Ahhh, now that was a pickle. “Can’t we deactivate it? There must be a way. I mean, all bombs have deactivation codes or something, right?” Sweat pooled between her breasts and her fingers shook. What the hell were they thinking sending a newbie in here like this? This was insane. She didn’t know anything about bombs, for crap’s sake. “You’d need to get that code, and it’s with Chameleon. Now, go back to headquarters. Let her do what she wants with me.” He sounded like he was defeated. Bullshit on that. Damn it, she’d watched a hundred cartoons in her lifetime and the hero fought to the bitter end. He didn’t just lie down and die. Her heart clenched. The shithead was offering up his life for hers. How quaint. How old-fashioned. How stooopid. “I will not. I came to save you and save you I will. Don’t give me shit about it, Darren.” “Kennedy?” “What?” she hissed through clenched teeth, moving from foot to foot. “I’m thinking here. Give me a minute!” She paced the space in front of Darren and gnawed on a nail. “Kennedy!” “Whaaaaat, for Christ sake?” “Look behind you.”

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Blunder Woman

- 80 -

That order couldn’t mean anything good. Goose bumps rose on her arms in fear and anticipation. Taking a swallow of air, Kennedy fingered her gun and turned with as much confidence as one could muster when you were faced with the unknown. Wow. This Chameleon broad had some smokin’ bod. Her green Lycra suit hugged some incredibly dangerous curves and her long, auburn hair fell to her waist in fat curls of shine and luster. Blue eyes, frigid and angry, looked at Kennedy with a myriad of emotions. None of those emotions were the kind that meant they could look forward to a future of shopping for super powers together at the mall anytime soon. “Er, Chameleon?” Kennedy finally gathered the courage to say. She nodded her pretty head and said, “That’s me.” Oooh, she just oozed confidence and reeked of superiority. If Kennedy could just tap into a smidge of that, she’d be in business. “Nice to meet ya. I’m Thunder Woman.” She stuck out her hand and Chameleon looked down at it with disdain. “That’s cool. No shaking hands. Got it. Okay, so how can we work this out? I mean, there must be something we can do to fix this little problem, right? Nothing is impossible. What do you want? Tell me and I’ll get it. Well, I won’t, but I just know the powers that be will.” Chameleon’s eyes darted to Darren, blue and filled with yearning. “You have two choices. You can leave Captain Daring here with me, where I’ll take good care of him and he’ll never leave for fear I’ll kill you. Or, I can kill you, and Captain Daring will need some comforting. I’d be happy to accommodate him.” She smiled -- her heart shaped face, with perfectly flawless skin and razor sharp cheekbones might crack from it -- but she smiled with a calm serenity. “Okay, so here’s the thing, Chameleon. Death is such a messy thing, don’t you agree? I mean, if you’re caught, you could go to jail and end up someone’s bitch. You don’t want to make license plates for the rest of your life, do you? You’re very attractive. You could have a career in almost anything you wanted. Why waste it knocking people off, ya feel me?”

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Blunder Woman

- 81 -

“Kennedy!” Darren growled from behind her. Kennedy swung around to face Darren, angry that he kept interrupting her hostage negotiations. “What?!” He wiggled a finger, ordering her to come closer. She bent down and put her ear to his lips. “You’re attempting negotiations with a woman who has me tied to a fricken’ chair with bombs attached to me. I don’t think she much cares about jail time. Now go back to OOMPH.” She looked into Darren’s icy green eyes and for the first time, saw the reality of their situation. However, it only made her resolve stronger. “Can’t you cut those fucking things off your wrists?” God, what good was a super power if you didn’t do anything but zap a girl’s clothes off? “Kennedy, look at me,” he muttered. “If I make contact my eyes will set them off. If the bindings lose contact with my skin, we’re chicken fried. Understand?” Oh, you bet your bippy she understood. He could be blown sky high if she touched those bindings. But she wasn’t giving up. “Don’t you have another super power to get us out of this? What are your powers anyway? Is it just the eyeball thing? What the hell good does that do me? I mean, Jesus already. Help me out here. Super strength, something? Anything?” she begged not only with her words, but with her eyes. “Nothing that will help us now. Now go back to OOMPH. Go now, damn it!” “No. I can do this, Darren. Now shut up,” she ordered, ignoring his growls of protest and whispered, “Do you know what her kryptonite is? She has one, doesn’t she? A weakness? Please tell me she has one.” “If she does, I’ve never seen it. Go back to OOMPH, Kennedy,” he ordered stiffly. “You know, Darren,” Chameleon called, cutting in on their hushed conversation. “I just don’t know what you see in her. She’s certainly not your equal. You should have stayed with me,” she said on a longing sigh. “We were good together, Darren. We could have ruled the world.”

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Blunder Woman

- 82 -

Darren struggled with the bonds and snarled at her. “Go to hell, you bitch. I’d rather be dead.” Kennedy gave him a fierce, narrowed look and whispered, “Way to poke her with a stick, Captain Big Mouth! God, we’re in the midst of a death warrant with bombs attached to you and you’re calling names. Now who should shut up?” Chameleon traced a finger over her cheek in thought. “I think I can arrange that, Darren. Your death, that is, and hers too. I’ve decided Thunder Thighs doesn’t deserve to live either,” she said with more of that eerie calm she was so good at. Thunder thighs? Thunder thighs? Kennedy sort of lost it then and her mouth, ever ready to shoot back, shot. “Hey, Green Whore net! Look who’s talking, huh? I’m not the one pining away for a man who doesn’t want me and threatening to kill him. I might have thunder thighs, but they’re loaded with self-esteem.” Ya bitch. Placing her hands on her curvy hips, Chameleon strode to stand before her, seething with hatred she could not only feel, but see. It created an aura that was tangible in the cave. Solid, substantial, and inexplicably angry. It weighed Kennedy down for the merest of moments. “Darren doesn’t really want you, you wannabe. How could he want someone who wasn’t given her powers at birth? It’s pathetic. You’re not one of us,” she sneered. Kennedy bit the inside of her cheek. She was damned sick and tired of being harped on about that. Fuck the birthright shit. She had the heart of a hero. That should be all that mattered. “And he wants you?” she taunted back with a snort. “A woman who’s as nuts as a bag of macadamias? Er, hellooooo! I think he’s made it pretty clear he doesn’t want you, Farcarella. Yet, here we are, in the midst of yet another ploy to win him. What makes you think he’s going to change his mind about you if he’s dead?” Chameleon’s face turned a mottled red, spreading from her neck to her high cheekbones. “My reward is -- you’ll be without him too.” Christ, she was fucked if she didn’t figure this out soon. Her hand tightened on her gun. She could fry her pretty hair… she was good at setting things on fire, but that

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Blunder Woman

- 83 -

wouldn’t produce the code. Wiping out Chameleon was great in theory. The world would be a better place, but if she did manage to take her out, she’d leave this world with that damned code. Think, for Christ’s sake. Think. The sweat that had begun to pool between her breasts now trickled down her forehead and beaded on her upper lip. “So, how shall we do this?” Chameleon taunted with a sneer that made her beautiful face ugly. “Do you want to sacrifice yourself, or will Captain Daring be the man of the hour?” Strolling over to the computer center that looked like something out of computer hell, Chameleon stood behind the control panel and held a menacing finger over the many lights and buttons. They cast an eerie, green glow over the ivory-skinned Chameleon and Kennedy’s legs trembled. She didn’t have a whole lot of recourse here. She had boots and a gun and a brain that couldn’t seem to get out of sluggish gear. “Get out, Kennedy!” Darren shouted again, his teeth clenched. “Go back to OOMPH!” Chameleon’s laugh was deep and resonant, ringing with a victory she seemed certain would occur. “If I set this just right, Captain Daring will be toast.” The beep of the bomb timer clicked with nerve-wracking clarity. “Say goodbye to your pseudo heroine, Darren. If I were you, whatever you call yourself,” she said, nodding in Kennedy’s direction, “I’d make a hasty retreat now. I promise not to tell the powers that be you ran like a coward,” she said followed by a hollow giggle. The anger that rose like a furious tidal wave crashed around her with a turbulent rush of electric heat. Fuck this broad and the horse she rode in on. Impulse sent her hand to her gun and without another thought she aimed it right at Chameleon’s head and fired. She didn’t end up hitting her in the head, but that wasn’t the point. It ricocheted off the cave wall and sent sparks flying in arcs of orange and red. Chameleon ducked and suddenly disappeared.

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Blunder Woman

- 84 -

Kennedy flew to the control panel, looking to Darren for guidance. “Hurry up! Help me figure this out,” she yelled anxiously, her throat closing with each word. “Is there someone I can call to help? Do we have a smart guy who can figure this out? Like IQ Man or somebody?” The ominous beep of the ticking bomb made her stomach lurch violently and a red button glowed, blinking on and off. It had to be the activation button. “Kennedy! Look out!” Darren yelled, jerking at his bonds, making her look back up from the panel of buttons and jerking her eyes to the cave wall just a hundred yards or so from her. Chameleon’s lush body melted away from the wall and turned from the surface of multi-colored rock back into her human form. Fuuuuck, she thought, but fought to keep the words unspoken as she looked frantically at the array of digital displays and colored panels, while watching Chameleon from the corner of her eye. Her laugh bordered maniacal, unbalanced, making Kennedy’s heart leap in her chest, pound in her ears. “You’ll never figure it out. Run, Kennedy, run away…” she said with a high giggle, her blue eyes flashing hatred. Darren’s face was pinched in the torch light. Defeated. He’d given up, God damn it! He was sending her off to friggen’ safety and willing to die to do it. Sweat dripped from his face, but he didn’t budge. His lips formed a thin line of determination. His hands clenched the arms of the chair. Shit, shit, shit! She hadn’t come this far to lose to a woman who wore green and had better hair than she did. Kennedy ran her tongue over her bottom lip and out of the blue, it hit her. A late night program on the Discovery Channel about chameleons -- a bag of popcorn and some cheap wine. Her mind zoomed through the facts she’d learned, trying to remember the one thing that she knew harmed a chameleon. She could almost hear the announcer’s voice in her head. Her tongue!

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Blunder Woman

- 85 -

She had to keep herself from doing a cartwheel. Her tongue was the answer! She tugged her gun back from her side again and aimed it at Chameleon. The bomb ticked with erratic beeps. Chameleon’s gaze narrowed and her eyes turned into slits. “Ya know…” her voice cut into the tense silence, “…I’ve been thinking. I can see why Darren didn’t want you.” She caught a glimpse of Darren’s face, blanching. “Really, can you?” “Well, yeah. You suck in bed…” She let her statement trail off for impact, knowing the jealous, green with envy Chameleon would react with volatile rage. React she did, with a violent scream of outrage blowing from her throat, erupting into the cave. “He told me, you know. He said you were the worst lay he’d ever had. He did, ask him,” she taunted with an arrogant nod to Darren. Darren’s face was a mask of fury, his eyes wide with surprise, but he didn’t deny her accusations. Chameleon’s fists balled in rage, her body trembling. She was in obvious distress. Stress was bad for a chameleon, if Kennedy remembered right. Very bad for a chameleon, but very good for her. She jabbed her again, her words spewing from her mouth in rapid fire. “Tell her, Darren. Tell her how crappy she is in the sack. You know what it is, Chameleon? It’s all in the tongue,” Kennedy said with a wink. “Darren said my tongue was the best tongue on the planet.” Her taunt rolled between them, pushing Chameleon’s buttons. “C’mon, Darren, speak up over there. Tell her what you told me. Remember? You said she couldn’t lick an ice cream cone to save her life let alone a --” She paused for the effect and gave Chameleon a coy look. “Well, I don’t want to repeat conversations that took place in my bed. Ya know, pillow talk and all. It’s,” she whispered, “sensitive…” Chameleon’s malevolent anger blew. Just like she knew it would. “I’ll show you a tongue, you dumb bitch!” She opened her mouth, unfurling her tongue in a ribbon of

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- 86 -

pink and aiming it at her, but Kennedy ducked. The hiss and slither of it made her cringe with disgust. Chameleon, not to be thwarted, shot her long pink tongue at her one last time and this time, Kennedy leaned back as far as she could, making Chameleon reach for her. With a hand that was quicker than she’d ever have given herself credit for, Kennedy snatched it, gripping the slimy flesh and yanking hard while holding the gun and pointing it at Chameleon. Chameleon squirmed, and writhed, but she held fast. “Aw, whassamatter, Chameleon? Had a little accident, did you? Did we hyper extend our tongue?” “What?” Darren asked in disbelief. Kennedy smiled and curtsied. “I’m not just cute, Darren. I’m educated too. So there. Chameleons’ tongues can hyper extend and it hurts when she does it. See?” She held up Chameleon’s tongue and waggled it at Darren. “She got pissed and forgot better judgment. I win, she loses,” she boasted. “So now what do I do? Hurry up and tell me so we can get you the hell out of here.” Her urgent voice carried across the cave. “Yoneeeerfigitout!” Chameleon mumbled the best she could with her tongue held captive. “What?” Kennedy looked at her, the question written all over her face. “She said you’ll never figure it out,” Darren filled in for her with a raspy shout. “Detain her, Kennedy, and get the hell out!” “Detain her with what? No one gave me the golden lasso for crap’s sake!” Yanking on Chameleon’s tongue, she pulled her to the edge of the cave and scanned it frantically for something to tie her up with. Chameleon followed helplessly and then she had an idea. She dragged her over to Darren and slapped her tongue between his bound fingers. “Hold that, would ya?”

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 87 -

Darren’s fingers gripped the pink surface for all they were worth and he bellowed at her again. “Get out, Kennedy. You’ll never get the code out of her now. Stop playing hero and get out!” Playing hero? Playing? Oh, that was so not okay. Had she been playing when she’d run twenty bazillion miles every day for the last month? Had she just been playing when she got up at the butt crack of dawn to do crunches and lunges with Captain Jane Fonda? Had she been just playing when she’d fricken’ put on that costume that was some Victoria’s Secret reject that left her ass exposed to an entire café? Nooooooooo, no. Kennedy Smith had been very serious. And she was very serious now. If she could just get them to shut up so she could think. She pointed her gun at Chameleon, who whimpered, her mouth hanging open while spittle began to form at the corners. “Stop sniveling, for Christ’s sake. Lie there and be quiet or I’ll burn your tongue off! Don’t make me go all Matrix on you,” she said with a cold threat. What would a woman, so obsessed with a man, use as a code for a bomb that would wipe him out? Her dress size? Beep, beep, beep. Oh, God, if that fucking thing didn’t stop beeping she would scream. It ticked off the seconds, reminding her that she’d better burn a brain cell or two fast. Beep, beep, beep. “Kennedy! If I have to say this one more time,” Darren threatened again with a harsh warning. “You’ll what? Take away my boots? Darren, if you’d just shut up and give me some credit here, I can do this. Now, shut the fuck up, hang onto your stalker’s damned tongue and let -- me -- think!” Staring down at the panel where the bomb beeped relentlessly, she focused, furrowing her brow and biting her lip.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 88 -

Knowledge overwhelmed her in a flood of recognition and she had, according to the timer, twenty seconds to spew it. “Darren? What was the date of your first encounter with Chameleon?” “Are you serious?” he yelped. “God damn it, think, Darren! What was the date?” she screamed back. She was onto something here. She felt it in her gut. “February. Sometime in February.” “The day, Darren, give me the day and year. Hurry the fuck up!” she yelled frantically, placing fingers that violently shook over the control panel. “Fuck. How should I know?” “Well, you’d better figure it out. That’ll teach you to be more aware of anniversaries, now won’t it? Think, Darren, and think fast!” He closed his eyes and took an exasperated breath. His face changed from hard to a flicker of recollection. “February 21, 2004,” he shouted. Kennedy punched in the numbers on the keypad, praying the one she’d been eyeballing was the right one. The groan of defeat from Chameleon was all she needed to tell her that she’d been right. Leaning forward against the panel of computers, she fought back a rush of tears when the bomb’s timer stopped beeping. Her legs, tense from the anxiety and fear, collapsed and she had to hang onto the metal frame of the computer for support. She took deep breaths before looking up to face Chameleon. “Nice choice of codes there, Farcarella. I mean, every girl who meets the man of her dreams remembers the day they met, huh?” Chameleon’s tongue, now dry from exposure, tried to move, but she was helpless. On legs that felt like melting butter, Kennedy went to untie Darren, using one hand, while keeping her gun pointed at Chameleon.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 89 -

His face revealed nothing, and she was too exhausted to care right now. She just wanted to go back to OOMPH and go to bed. The cave erupted in chaos without warning as OOMPH members burst through the craggy rock opening. Latex Man arrived with handcuffs and restrained Chameleon, hauling her off to wherever heroes who’d gone astray, or in this case, bonkers, went. Her tongue trailed behind her, dragging across the dirt surface of the cave floor, as she whimpering all the way. Edgar, usually so formal, pulled Kennedy to him and gave her a brief hug. “Thunder Woman has arrived, hasn’t she?” he said jovially. “She has and she almost shit her pants in the process,” she half joked. “Could you drive home, Edgar? I think I’m a little shaky.” Reaching into her jeans, she handed Edgar the keys to her Pacer and leaned into the arm he’d placed around her shoulders. “I’d be honored, miss. Absolutely honored.” He nodded his regal head and placed a hand under her arm to escort her out of the cave and back to OOMPH. Darren could fly, leap tall buildings or hitchhike back to headquarters for all she cared right now. He’d had no faith that she could possibly save him and that was sticking in her craw like a thorn. “Kennedy,” he called from behind her, but she waved him off with a dismissive hand. Captain Daring would just have to wait until tomorrow to hack on her. Kennedy Smith had some thinking to do.

Chapter Ten The intercom buzzed and with a weary, still shaking finger, she pressed the on button. “Yes?” She sounded tired even to her own ears. She wasn’t up to anything but lying very still and nursing her tube of Bengay. “Ms. Smith?” Her heart skipped an unwanted beat at the sound of Darren’s voice. If he was here to give her crap about all the rules she’d broken to save his butt, he was in for a big surprise. She was in no mood to be mocked. “Captain Daring?” “May I come in?” “Only if you promise to save harping on me until tomorrow.” “I can only promise I won’t harp for too long. How’s that?” Sighing, she knew the war wasn’t worth avoiding the battle. He wouldn’t leave her alone until she gave him the chance to ream her a new one. “Fine, but be nice or I’ll go dig up Chameleon and let her drool all over you.” His chuckle was cut off when she let go of the button and got up to open the door. He’d showered and looked fresh as a daisy. He sure as fuck didn’t look like a guy whose life had just hung precariously in the balance. Kennedy, on the other hand, looked like she’d been hit by a screaming freight train. “Well, don’t you look refreshed? Feeling better, Captain Daring?” “Yeah, I feel pretty good,” he snickered, casting his green eyes over her tired features. “Good. Peachy in fact. Me? Not so much. I’m beat. So if you’ve come to give me shit about protocol and all that jazz, save it for tomorrow. I need my beauty rest.”

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 91 -

“I came to tell you that you took a huge risk and no matter what’s passed between us, I’m your superior. You should have listened to my orders,” he said sternly, but his smile belied his tone. “A thank you is all I’m willing to hear from you right now, Darren. No matter how it was done, I saved you,” she said tiredly. “Thank you. Now, let’s get our roles straight here. I’m in charge. I call the shots and I told you to leave the cave.” Really then… huh. Hadn’t it been her who’d kept him from being blown into a gazillion pieces, even if she had ignored his orders? Pushing her hair from her face, she took a defensive stance. “Well, well, well, Captain Daring. Look who just saved your hide, eh?” Kennedy pointed to her chest with an arrogant thumb. “Yep, that would be me. Yes, yes, yes. Me, Blonder Woman as you’re so fond of calling me. Hack wannabe comic book hero. A lowly human, birthed with nary a single super power, saved your butt. So hah! I sure as hell didn’t see you whipping out any super powers to save us! How does that tickle your laser eyeballs, bud?” She shook her ass at him, rolling it in a dance of victory. “Hey, Captain Sour Puss! Stop being so cranky. Will my super powers get rid of the cellulite on my butt, Ed?” Er, okay, that was kinda whacked, cuz the voice, mocking her previous statements, sounded just like hers. Kennedy turned around with a slow pivot and blinked to find a duplicate of herself standing right in front of her. Um, even just thinking that was freaky. She shook her head and squinted. What the fuck? It was her, but it couldn’t be her because her was here. Not over there by the door that Darren had entered just before she’d taunted him about saving his ass-tastic life. Oy. Vey even. “Captain Daring’s a shithead. He’s soooo mean!” the person who was the exact replica of herself, but wasn’t, mocked. Placing hands on hips, the Kennedy look-alike

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 92 -

sashayed around, a bit stilted, but sashayed nonetheless, wiggling her ass and throwing her hair back. Did her ass really look like that? Crap, she’d better lunge more often. Her mouth fell open. So that was Darren’s super power. He could morph. God damn it. Why did everyone else have cool super powers and she had some boots and a pair of earrings. It just wasn’t fair. “I saved you, Captain Daring, so take that,” her twin sing-songed. Kennedy began to laugh until her belly hurt and so did Darren. He’d obviously lost his concentration and the change back to his own body was like watching a movie with superb special effects. He became a watery blob for a moment and then, he was Darren again. When she’d wiped the tears from her face, she asked, “Now why didn’t you do that when Chameleon had you, dumb ass? It could have saved us a whole lot of trouble in the process.” “I couldn’t risk it. She was intent on seeing you dead, Kennedy. I couldn’t let that happen,” he said with firm words, avoiding her eyes. Kennedy sauntered up to him and peered upward. “Know why that is?” “Why?” “Cuz you dig me.” “So?” “So, that means you don’t just want to boink me.” “Oh, yeah?” “Yeah. It means you want to do all the shit people do when they have a relationship. Like go out to eat and see a movie or something.” “I won’t go see chick flicks,” he muttered under his breath. “Yeah, you will. Cuz I’ll be sitting next to you and you can’t resist me. Remember?” she said with confidence, letting her fingers walk up his broad chest.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 93 -

Darren’s arm snaked around her waist and he dragged her to him, molding her body to his. “Yeah, I remember. Quit reminding me I said that,” he whispered, slanting his mouth over hers. “No,” she mumbled back. “No, I won’t. You need to be reminded, crankmeister.” His tongue slipped between her lips and his irresistible mouth pressed against hers with feverish urgency. “Don’t do that again, Kennedy. Don’t ever risk your life for mine,” he ordered with vehemence, lifting her shirt and cupping her breast, tearing at the clothing with hands that moved in rapid haste. Kennedy groaned when he placed his lips around her nipple, forgetting he’d given her yet another order. Her hands went to the thick hair on his head, scrunching it between her fingers and clinging to him. Darren walked her backward to the bed, relieving her of clothing while they went, pulling impatiently at the button on her jeans and shoving them over her thighs to her feet. Kennedy too tore at his clothing, lifting his T-shirt over his head and grabbing his pants with a hard yank to pull them off. He laid her on the bed with gentle care, smoothing his hands over the curve of her hip. Then he traced a pattern over her ribs and finally, settling between her legs, opened her slick flesh with two fingers. Kennedy’s groan was long, urgent, harsh at his touch. Her hips pressed against his finger, stroking her swollen clit to a hard nub, and she gasped when he slipped down her body to press his tongue to it. Her legs wrapped around his neck and she lifted her ass off the bed to accommodate his hot mouth flush with her cunt. She squirmed beneath the skill of it, spreading her flesh wider with her own fingers. Her thumb traced his mouth, moving in sync with his tongue. She bucked at the wet heat and her nipples beaded sharply in need.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 94 -

She focused on nothing but the slick silk of his mouth and his fingers that now moved upward to capture a breast, tweaking the nipple until it ached for relief. A familiar wave of electricity assaulted her pussy and she rode it, letting it carry her away to orgasm. Spreading her legs wide, she held Darren’s head against her cunt, writhing wildly in climax. Her breath was lost in a maelstrom of sensation, but Darren wasn’t letting her catch it. He rose over her, placing a flat hand on her breastbone and settling between her legs. Her hand caught his cock before he placed it at her entrance, sliding over the hard, steamy surface with ease. She stroked him, positioning him at her slick passage and moving her hips upward to capture him. His entry was hard, taking her already lost breath with it, but he didn’t leave her time to adjust. His desire was out of control and his growl upon entry was deep, feral and tight. Grinding into her, Darren laid his muscled form over hers, shoving an arm under her body and pulling them so close together Kennedy could feel the luscious scrape of his pubic hair on her clit. She drove back at him, matching his slick plunges with fierce force, begging silently for release. Her cunt milked his thick length and when his cock touched her cervix, Kennedy clung to his neck, unable to control the spiral of orgasm. Darren bucked from above and took one last heated dive into her before he came too, with a rush of hot semen. Burying her face in his neck, Kennedy let her lips rest against the corded muscle. Darren dragged her to lie on top of him, still inside her, still semi hard. She looked down into those icy green eyes, that weren’t as icy as they once had been. Now, they were filled with a warmer emotion she was sure had to at least be fondness. Running a hand over his strong jaw, she said, “Is this one of your super powers, Schlong Man? You’re insatiable,” she teased, pressing a quick kiss to his mouth.

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 95 -

He nuzzled her cheek and laughed. “No, that’s all Darren Westfield,” he joked. “Wow, no wonder Chameleon was crying in her aquarium over losing you.” His eyes grew serious again and he looked squarely at Kennedy. “She never had me, Kennedy.” Oh. Excellent. A ripple of satisfaction swept over her. “Well, then, maybe I should tell her all about it from the other side of those bars she’ll be behind, huh?” “Don’t ever do that again, Kennedy. Do you hear me? You blatantly ignored me and could have been killed.” “Well, I wasn’t and know something else? I did it with nothing but my noggin. I think they should call me Genius Woman.” “Look here, Genius Woman, don’t get all cocky. You have much to learn.” Trailing a finger over his lips, she giggled. “And I suppose you’ll be the one to teach me?” “Yep, that’s me. Captain Shithead and we need to work on your flying.” He lightened up a bit, his face clearing into a grin. “Yeah, yeah, but first, I think we need to work on our communication skills and your people skills. You, Darren Westfield, are not a people person,” she admonished. “And how do we do that?” “Well, first you admit you like your soulmate. Just a little, mind you. I don’t need flowers or candy and grand confessions of love just yet.” “Okay, I like you, but just a little,” he said, palming a breast with a lascivious chuckle. “Niiice. Very nice. Congratulations, you’re well on your way to a peaceful beginning of our life together.” He kissed her, hard and firm on the lips. “You scared the shit out of me, Kennedy. I thought you’d end up dead. I couldn’t have lived with that.” “Know what that means, Captain Daring?”

Dakota Cassidy

Blunder Woman

- 96 -

“What?” “That means you waaaaaay like me.” He held her away from him for a moment and looked at her with a gaze that held admiration and a possessive glint. “Let’s just say, you grew on me and I’ve adjusted,” he said, his voice growing warm with his admission. She cupped his face with her hands and smiled. Her heart clenched with what she knew was just the tip of the iceberg in their relationship -- a relationship that would grow into a lifetime of commitment to one another given time and a whole lot of communication. She didn’t need to have a super power to know what her woman’s intuition was screaming, loud and proud. “Well, then, Captain Daring, I say you just keep right on adjusting…” Darren’s kiss sealed what she knew in her heart would be. She kissed him back with a grin. Darren Westfield’s fate was in the palm of Kennedy Smith’s hand and he was helpless against the greatest super power of all. Love.

The End

Dakota Cassidy Dakota is busy. Very busy making excuses for not writing her own bio. M, the esteemed owner of Changeling Press, pretends to listen to theses excuses. We do know Dakota has a website – conveniently named DakotaCassidy.com – and a blog -carnalcomedy.blogspot.com -- and a yahoo group -- groups.yahoo.com/group/ttabbb ­ - for those of you not yet into the whole blog scene. Email Dakota for more specific questions, like why she’s not updated her bio in forever. Dakota@ DakotaCassidy.com. Tell her M sent you.