COLE FOR CHRISTMAS
Treva Harte
www.loose-id.com
Cole for Christmas Copyright © December 2011 by Treva Harte All rig...
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COLE FOR CHRISTMAS
Treva Harte
www.loose-id.com
Cole for Christmas Copyright © December 2011 by Treva Harte All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the original purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this e-book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without prior written permission from Loose Id LLC. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
eISBN 978-1-61118-684-0 Editor: S. N. Graves Cover Artist: Anne Cain Printed in the United States of America
Published by Loose Id LLC PO Box 809 San Francisco CA 94104-0809 www.loose-id.com This e-book is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Warning This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. Loose Id LLC’s e-books are for sale to adults ONLY, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.
**** DISCLAIMER: Please do not try any new sexual practice, especially those that might be found in our BDSM/fetish titles without the guidance of an experienced practitioner. Neither Loose Id LLC nor its authors will be responsible for any loss, harm, injury or death resulting from use of the information contained in any of its titles.
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Chapter One “What’s wrong with you, Cole?” Sarah stared at her friend over the flimsy coffee container. “You have to go pee pee? You’ve been twitchy ever since we got here.” Cole laughed and gave her the finger. He opened his mouth as if to give a smart-ass answer but then bent over his latte instead. Not looking at her, he carefully blew on it and took a sip. Sarah settled back. Cole was obviously dying to tell her something, and she knew from experience all she needed to do was sit. If he waited more than ten minutes before spilling everything, he’d probably keel over from the strain. The clatter of students milling around the student union coffee shop made the silence less noticeable. They continued drinking. Two minutes of just downing caffeine. Impressive. Cole was hanging tough. He shifted again in his seat and shut his eyes, grimacing. Sarah frowned, suddenly a little concerned. Cole was a genius—a real, measured-by-testing genius—but that didn’t mean his emotional IQ always matched his intelligence. She was sure it was a challenge to be five to ten years younger than his academic peers, and Cole didn’t always meet that challenge. In fact, Cole could be kind of a pain in the ass. Right now he was acting like he had a literal pain there. Oh. Ohhhh, boy. He might actually have one. Please God, no. She might have to venture into TMI territory to find out. Cole had been more than forthcoming about his sex life in the two years they’d been in grad school together. That was a problem for him. Younger and smarter in some things had made him vulnerable in others, especially since he was open about his sexual preferences and desires. Gay at the university was one thing; gay and dedicated to BDSM was another. “Has someone hurt you?” She hoped that question would get the job done. Sarah could be more direct if need be, but she also probably didn’t want to know all the particulars.
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“No.” His prompt answer was a relief. Of course, he had to add, “Not any more than I want to be.” “Ooookay.” Sarah put down her cup. Sometimes a friend had a duty to ask more even if she’d so much rather not. “Have you met some new dom?” “You know I have. I told you about him.” Cole didn’t look up from his latte, but he didn’t sound reluctant to answer. “You mentioned you’d met someone new at a club a few weeks ago, but you didn’t say anything more.” That wasn’t like her Cole at all now that she thought about it. “Is that the guy?” “Fuck yeah. I was incredibly lucky that night. He hardly ever goes to clubs. Says they’re too fake for his tastes.” Cole squirmed again. “He isn’t into scenes. Not public ones.” “So you’ve been—um—doing things outside of clubs?” Sarah wasn’t sure which sounded more dangerous. Cole wouldn’t know danger if it came and bit him on the butt. Especially if it bit him on the butt. “At his place. Sarah, it’s…intense. And really sexy.” Cole grinned at her. “That’s all I’ll say unless you want me to go on. I know how you get.” “And I know how you get, so thanks for shutting up.” She grinned back at him, and Cole shifted his weight again. Sarah sighed. “All right, Cole. Why are you acting this way? Something is going on.” Cole leaned over, then glanced around to make sure no one was listening. Oh God. He felt the need to keep something private. This was going to be a doozy. “Because I have a butt plug in me. A big one. It’s driving me crazy. Especially because it’s pressing on my fucking prostate.” Sarah made a faint protesting noise and covered her eyes. “I don’t want to know.” “When I see Jeff after work, he’s going to take it out and replace it with—” “Don’t want to know, don’t want to know. Don’t. Wanna. Know.” Sarah covered her ears instead. Cole pushed down one of her hands and whispered, “Unless you want to pull it out for me. Jeff might get mad, but it would be worth it if your dainty, lily-white fingers would take care of things for me right now. It might even be fun.”
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Sarah clenched her dainty, lily-white fingers and smacked him on the shoulder with her plastic spoon. Cole leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. Stunned, Sarah dropped the spoon on the table. For such a demonstrative guy, Cole pretty much kept his hands and lips to himself. Well, at least around women. She’d seen guys pass him around like an appetizer at parties. Obviously that kind of touching was different for him. Oh, shit. After remembering some of those party images, she felt a sudden pang of lust. She took a deep breath. Now she could see herself testing that butt plug, imagine what Cole’s tight ass looked like holding it. His gasp when it moved. Damn it, she didn’t need to have that thought in her head. Talk about waste of time! Cole was completely off-limits. He’d never be her appetizer. Friends. They were friends. She’d gotten over her stupid crush long ago. That didn’t mean she couldn’t admit to herself he was sexy. In an off-limits way. She didn’t need to start thinking he was available after working so hard to forget he was hot. “I knew I’d make you do that, but you did ask.” Cole sounded a little too smug. Sarah looked up. Oh Lord, how could he know about her completely inappropriate thoughts? Cole rubbed his shoulder, grimacing as if she’d really hurt him. Then he stopped and winked. Oh. Right. Very funny. She’d hit him. They had a standing joke about his smart mouth and his need for punishment. “Actually what I really wanted to ask was what you had planned for Christmas.” She didn’t care if it was an obvious change of subject. Cole could go on pushing her buttons for hours. Besides, she did want to ask. Last year Cole went with her to see her parents. Cole had way too many experiences with judgmental families like his own, and he’d been apprehensive about the whole thing, especially meeting her officer father. But Dad had been Dad, and Cole had been Cole, and everyone had a great time, just the way Sarah expected. This year Mom and Dad had shipped out to Japan, so neither she nor Cole would be seeing their families. She’d hoped they could hang out together for the two weeks while the grad dorms closed during winter break.
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“I’ve been wanting to tell you! I’m planning on a trip to a ski lodge in Wyoming all during break.” “You don’t ski.” Sarah skied but couldn’t afford a weekend, much less weeks at a resort. Life was so unfair. “I like skiers. And cowboys. Jeff owns a place there.” Cole crumpled his cup and tossed it into the garbage. “Oh. Jackson Hole?” Sarah snickered. “I could see you headed there just for the name.” So now she knew this Jeff had money, was a skier, and maybe was a little pretentious. Two out of three wasn’t bad. Especially if he had a ski lodge. “Grand Targhee. Jeff says it’s even better than Jackson Hole, although not as many people have heard of it.” So unfair. Sarah had heard of it, and everything she’d heard agreed with what Cole—who was obviously clueless—had said. The place wasn’t even that pretentious. If Cole’s new man turned out to be perfect, she’d have to be happy Cole was going away with him on the kind of holiday break she’d want. And that was so unfair double time. It also meant she had no one to share Christmas with. She didn’t need another reminder that she'd worked too hard, frozen too many people out, had no life. Cole, who bubbled over with curiosity and energy, always made even the bleakest times fun. She’d been counting on him to carry her through this first really big holiday without her parents. Well, she’d have to get over it. A military brat got used to being around strangers. Maybe she could scrounge up enough money to take a little road trip by herself or get a fancier hotel than she’d planned. It didn’t sound like fun now, but she would work on it. “You wanna come along?” Sarah stared. “This Jeff person wouldn’t mind?” “My Jeff person suggested it.” “Right. I find it hard to believe you two chatted about me in between all your wild bouts of red-hot sexual passion.” Sometimes Cole heard only what he wanted to hear. Cole laughed again. “Everything about me is hard, baby, but it’s a genuine invite. Please say yes. It wouldn’t be Christmas without you. Last year was fun. This year will be too.”
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It was so tempting, especially with Cole smiling at her. On one hand, she might not be comfortable having Christmas with two men who liked their BDSM noisy—at least Cole said he did. And on the other hand, there was skiing. She didn’t have to be around the guys all the time. But on the third hand, she didn’t know anything about Jeff except Cole liked him, and Cole’s taste in men usually sucked. In a bad way. Then again, she didn’t have anything better to do. “Sarah,” Cole whined. Indecision was bad. He always took advantage if she didn’t say a firm no. Enough. She already had too many hands. She would tell him— “I’d need to meet Jeff first. You know about me and following protocol. Comes from growing up in the military.” Cole looked down at the floor. That seemed kind of sneaky. His fingers tapped the table. Yes. Definitely sneaky. “You already know him. Not well, but there are school connections.” What did “school connections” mean? “Shit, Cole! Is he one of our professors?” That would be just like her boy. God, she hoped Cole wasn’t taking a class with this guy. Not that he couldn’t ace any class he wanted, but it would look bad. “No.” Cole denied the question a little too fast. “But he is a professor, and we had him before.” She knew how to play this game. Cole wouldn’t lie, but he was very good at evasion. “Um…not exactly.” Jeff. Who did they know named Jeff? What the hell kind of name was Jeff anyhow? It sounded short and friendly, but it was a nickname for pompous full names. Geoffrey, Jefferson… “So can we meet?” “I’ll check things out with him.” Cole was hiding something. Even worse, he wasn’t immediately giving in and telling her everything. That meant whatever he wasn’t saying had to be big.
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Jeff. Damn it. Jeff… Jeffries. Quentin A. “A for Asshole” Jeffries the Third. “No.” Her stomach lurched. “Cole, tell me it’s not who I think it is.” “Um. I know you didn’t like him much when you had him, but—” Cole’s look had changed from sneaky to nervous. “Cole. You are not with the man who single-handedly made me switch my undergrad major because he was such a jerk. Right?” Cole squirmed again, and then caught himself with a little gasp. Sarah wasn’t entirely sure if it was a sound of dismay or pleasure. “Stay with me here. You expect me to spend a couple of weeks with that man? The one who told me I wasn’t meant to be an English lit major?” “Um. Yes?” Cole took a deep breath. Then he released and began to talk fast. “I know you, Sarah. How would you live with yourself if it turned out things went really wrong, and I was stranded up there with an asshole? I don’t have a car. You owe it to me and your mother-hen complex to come along and make sure I’m safe.” The things she said next weren’t coherent, but they were loud. She stopped when people began to move from their tables. “Don’t try to outsmart me on this, Cole Stewart. I’m not going to let you manipulate me.” “All right.” He said it quietly, all his usual exuberance gone. “I’m sorry. I just wanted… I’m sorry.” Oh, shit. Not the crushed Cole. “I’m sorry too.” “What if…Would it be all right if he talked to you? Maybe you two could work something out.” “I said I was sorry, not that I was giving in.” “It wouldn’t be giving in. You could reach a compromise.” “Let me understand what you’re saying here. You think the nastiest advisor I’ve ever had—who is also your big bad dom—will compromise with me? I’m not seeing it. What do we
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have to compromise on? Will he take a vow of silence while I’m there? Swear to pretend to be a decent human being for Christmas?” “C’mon. He’s not the way you remember him. What if he would work with you? If you would?” Cole looked around at the people nearby. Thankfully they had stopped staring. He inched a little closer, leaning across the table. “You’re my friend. I think Jeff might be…important. I never missed having a real relationship until I met him.” “But he can’t be the one. He’s—” Sarah swallowed hard. She looked at Cole’s still baby face. Sometimes he didn’t just play at being innocent. Sex he knew about. People? Not so much. She couldn’t finish that sentence and crush him again. “Of course you want someone special. You deserve someone like that.” “But what?” “But nothing. All right. You win. I want to see him.” And when she did, she’d kill Dr. Quentin Asshole Jeffries for lying to Cole.
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Chapter Two Cole remembered not to shift his feet as Jeff ignored him in favor of scrolling down the computer screen. He kept his hands behind his back and worked to focus on nothing but staying still. Jeff hated it when he got twitchy. Unless it was during sex. Cole swallowed and tried not to think about sex or butt plugs or Jeff’s strong hands as the man powered down the computer. “Don’t worry, boy. You don’t need to wait anymore. I’ll enter the grades in later.” Jeff looked up—finally. “What’s wrong?” Obviously he hadn’t blanked out his expression enough. Both Jeff and Sarah had asked that today. Oh, well. Too late to fix that now. “Sarah is.” Cole scowled. “Or me. The situation. It didn’t work the way I had it in my head.” “She won’t consider coming along?” Jeff’s mouth hardened, just a moment. Cole licked his lips. He loved that look. It usually meant Jeff was unhappy and about to be particularly masterful. “Well, she didn’t actually say that. She said she needed to talk to you. Somehow I didn’t get the feeling she wanted to talk to you but at you.” Jeff laughed and patted his lap. Cole wasn’t sure Jeff had dismissed the issue, but at least he wasn’t displeased anymore. Cole sat down, facing him, trying very hard not to arch up and rock his ass against Jeff’s crotch. They kissed—a long, slow kiss—before Jeff twisted his fingers into Cole’s hair and kissed him harder, deeper, more ruthlessly. Jeff raised his head when he was done and brushed his thumb against Cole’s lips. They felt sensitive to the touch. Jeff’s touch. Cole dropped his gaze. “I wonder what she wants to say at me. I’m almost looking forward to finding out. Sarah was a bit more subdued back in the day. It sounds like she needs to be taken in hand.” Cole snapped his head up to stare at the other man. Jeff laughed and shook his head. He relaxed. All right, then. Jeff hadn’t meant “in hand” the way folks in the lifestyle sometimes did
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about their married partners. No, there was nothing about marriage or even monogamy in what Jeff liked for kink. Although he certainly did like being the one in charge. “Me too.” Cole couldn’t help saying it. “I want to be taken in hand. Soon.” “Impatient?” “I’m trying not to be.” Jeff’s hand tightened on Cole shoulder. “Is that a whine?” His voice sharpened. “Maybe. Just a little. Sorry, Sir.” Cole used the sir without hesitation, before he even realized they had slipped completely into master and servant roles. His lover wasn’t Jeff any more. Not when he sounded like that. Not when he teased his fingers against Cole’s inseam. Those fingers danced almost, but not quite, where Cole needed them. Where he was desperate to have them. He’d do anything to have them tugging on his cock and balls. But he knew he had to earn that. “May I, Sir?” He wiggled away, keeping his own hands at his sides. When he didn’t hear a no, he knelt in front of his dom. His dom who undid the buttons of his fly slowly while Cole tried not to show how much he wanted to take his cock out and stroke it along with his master’s. Cole knew he wasn’t to touch. Not yet. He could watch though, while his master’s cock slowly came into view. When that cock was finally free, Cole licked the shaft slowly, waiting for more permission. He traced the huge vein along his master’s cock. The vein pulsed under his tongue, promising, promising. Then Cole opened his mouth wider. Only when he was half choked with the cock sliding down his throat did Cole tilt his head back to swallow. His master’s cock tasted salty and musky and male. Cole breathed through his nose, adjusting once more to the width and length of that erection. Tears came to his eyes when his top fucked his mouth harder. Cole swallowed and relaxed more, straining to get the entire cock down. He shifted despite his best intentions; the battering rocked his knees and sent pain shooting through them. That movement wasn’t allowed, no matter how deep the thrusts were. Cole stopped and sucked harder to make up for his lapse, tasting the start of his master’s cum trickling down his throat.
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Cole let out a pleased hum, and the slow trickle of semen became a flood. He coughed, the fluid spilling down his mouth and dripping from his chin before he could swallow everything. He shut his eyes when his master pulled out. Then he turned his face up to show it gleaming with sweat and cum. His master wiped the side of Cole’s cheek and then held his hand out. Cole put his head down again and licked the hand clean, thoroughly. Lovingly. “Good boy.” He’d pleased his master. Cole was happy—almost as happy as if he’d come himself. But his cock’s frantic beat against his clothing reminded him he hadn’t yet. “Th—” His throat felt raw. Cole cleared it and tried again. “Thank you, Sir.” “You’re welcome. Now get up, pull your pants down, and then bend over, hands grabbing your ankles.” He stood, a little gingerly, and shoved his pants down so his master could get a good look. Then he turned and leaned forward. The other man jiggled the plug still nestled in Cole’s asshole. Cole cried out, his cock jutting up, painfully hard and needy. His master gave the base of the plug a series of light taps, sending hot volts of pained pleasure streaking to his balls. Cole shook with each stroke, holding his breath. Whenever the feeling eased, he sucked in air to wait for the next tap. He wasn’t sure he could hold out and tried not to imagine the embarrassment of coming without permission. At last he felt lube smoothed against his aching asshole, wet and cold, yet another familiar sensation that made Cole tremble with want. Then, without warning, his master pulled out the plug. Cole huffed air, his ass gripping reflexively, trying to fill the suddenly empty space. He heard footsteps leaving the study and gulped. Water splashed in the basin next door. The cool wetness would feel good after the burn of stretching. His dom knew how to take care of him. God, he hoped he was getting cleaned and prepared for his fucking. Another squirt of lube hissed out behind him, and he licked his lips at the familiar sound. While he couldn’t see what came next, from that sound it appeared he wasn’t going to have to
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wait any longer. He wasn’t sure what would happen next since, although his master had hellish stamina, Cole had drained him as dry as he could. “What do you want, boy?” Is that a trick question? “It doesn’t matter. You know how to make me want anything.” It was the truth, not just sub talk. “Have you ever been fisted?” “N-no, Sir.” “You have no cuts or bruises from the plug, so you aren’t particularly tight. Although I don’t think you’re ready for it yet, we’ll try.” He didn’t ask if I wanted to. Unless that statement was meant to be a question. Cole wasn’t sure if he did or didn’t want to try. The idea was frightening, but if his master wanted it, Cole usually found he wanted it too. Use of the plug all day made Jeff’s first three fingers slide into Cole easily. There was plenty of room to enjoy the stretch and press of them inside. He grunted when the fourth finger entered him; he moaned when all four digits stretched his already sensitive ass. He was going to fail at this. “Motherfucker…oh God…motherfucker.” Cole swallowed. “Don’t. Sir. Please.” He’d never used a safe word before. He didn’t want to use one now, but— Jeff knew what Cole meant. He always knew. “Never mind. You did well today. You have permission to jack off while I make you ready. Stay in position.” Cole gripped his cock instantly even as he stifled a protest. He didn’t want to masturbate alone, but what else did he deserve? If he couldn’t do what Jeff expected of him, he was lucky to get that much. The cool washcloth wiping him up was relaxing. “Jesus!” He jumped as he felt the first sweep of his master’s tongue against his ass. Sensitive. Everything was sensitive, alive to the sensual caress of that tongue, and then to teeth fastened lightly against the opening of his ass. His master’s teeth weren’t so gentle after
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Cole’s flinch. Delicate fire spread with the pain of the bite Jeff had inflicted. Cole moaned as he squeezed his cock, every inch of his skin prickling with heat. Pain and sweat and lust. That was what he needed. That was what he got. His master stood up at his moan, his legs tight against Cole’s, holding Cole up. A slick, probing finger slid into his ass again, this time hitting his prostate, the prostate teased all morning and afternoon with that damned plug. Need and fire and pleasure shot through him. “Fuck!” Cole’s knees buckled. Finally, finally, there was enough pressure to— “Come.” It was a command. Cole screamed. And he came. Hard. Hard enough to need his master’s grip to keep him standing. Hard enough to gray out while he gasped for breath. “Good boy.” Comforting words grounded him as he shivered with the last shot of cum expelled from his body. He slumped, only to be picked up as if he were a baby. His master pulled him into his lap, holding him tightly, warmly, until the world reassembled itself. He rested his head on Jeff’s shoulder and fought tears. Jeff whispered against Cole’s sweaty face. “I’ll fuck you tonight, boy. Your ass is sensitive already. Before I’m done, you’ll see stars.” Tears gathered at the edges of Cole’s eyes once again, just when he thought he was safe, and he blinked them away. Jeff hated tears when they weren’t in a scene. Instead, Cole just let himself feel comforted. “Thank you, Sir. Jeff.” This wasn’t the man—the “sir”—who dominated him. This was the one who soothed him. Now he was with Jeff again, warmed by Jeff’s body.
**** The boy—his boy—was sitting on the floor, resting his head against Jeff’s knee. Jeff felt the weight of him as they both stared into the fire. A little brandy, some hot sex… Old tension eased as Jeff leaned his head back. He didn’t touch Cole, but the boy moved to grip his knee.
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His tension still eased more with Cole’s touch. “I’ve wanted this all day.” Cole sounded so earnest. “Just to sit here with you.” He knew he needed to be careful with the boy. Cole didn’t think they were just playing a scene any more. Up until now Jeff had pushed away anyone who wanted more than he provided during their play. Cole was something of a complication. When they were together, Cole wanted only to obey, to submit, to lose himself the way his master told him. He was perfect. It was outside of their play that Cole’s intensity was worrisome. Jeff had given up on any intense partnership outside of a scene. The boy was so young. Young enough to still think there might be more than the sexual play they had together, something more Jeff would allow him, even though Jeff had never promised him anything beyond satisfying their mutual kink. Jeff clenched his hand hard enough to hurt. He grimly relaxed his fist. He wasn’t going to get upset over this. “That’s not all you want.” Cole grinned at him. “It’s what I want for now.” Then he stopped smiling. “Are you unhappy with what I told you before? Because having you and submitting to you is enough for me. Really it is.” Enough. That bleak word didn’t belong in Cole’s vocabulary. Cole wasn’t meant for enough. He would always need more. Why not give the boy more? Better to know now if he would be pleased with what Jeff wanted to provide or if he’d drift away to some new pleasure. Some new person. Jeff promised himself he wouldn’t be angry if that happened. Hadn’t that been him, back when he was his boy’s age? He’d been sure there had to be something more. Someone else. Maybe it wouldn’t be the same for Cole. Except there was a problem already. Sarah. Cole thought he still wanted Sarah. Hadn’t Jeff wanted a Sarah too, during that time he thought he could get everything he wanted? Jeff traced the line of Cole’s jaw. Sometimes no one could tell you differently, even when you knew your choice was going to be a disaster. “Jeff?” Cole looked up, smiling a little uncertainly.
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Cole was lucky. He had someone now who could watch over him. Cole turned to kiss Jeff’s hand, his lips soft and gentle. It was almost a child’s kiss, although what Cole was thanking him for wasn’t anything a child should want. Thank God he wasn’t as young as Cole. Thank God he’d already gone through his disaster and never had to do it again. It might be cruel to disillusion Cole, but Jeff was going to give his boy exactly what he thought he wanted. Cole would find out the truth soon enough.
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Chapter Three There wasn’t any other way to do it. She needed to flat-out confront Quentin Jeffries. The problem was Sarah didn’t think anyone would be happy if she started a confrontation in the university offices. Avoiding a public argument meant she had to look up his home address. She gritted her teeth as she Googled and went through the references. She deliberately refused to count the number of awards he’d won. Cole might be a genius, but Jeff had been around longer to collect the academic goodies every professor or professor wannabe lusted over. Of course winning awards didn’t mean you weren’t an asshole. In fact, assholes usually won the most. Wasn’t that the way the world worked? She finally pulled up the right information and printed off the address. She could have accepted Cole’s invitation to come over, but she preferred to leave him out of this as much as possible. She wasn’t going to ask for Cole’s help to smack Jeffries down. Even though having to meet with him was all Cole’s fault. She looked at herself in the mirror. Nothing in her teeth, hair brushed, and her most professional outfit on. She’d probably need something better when she started on rounds of job interviews, but that was a year or more away, and she had to deal with this today. Just to be safe, she threw some Tylenol in her backpack. She was undoubtedly going to have a headache before she was done. She used to have them when she confronted her former undergrad advisor. She expected no less today.
**** “So why are you so angry, Sarah?” Of course Jeff looked calm. He even smiled. But that was just to irk her, not because he was amused. My, what big teeth you have…
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She scowled. He probably thought he could intimidate her with his huge house and the expensive furniture and decor. She stared down at the Oriental carpet in his library and knew she was intimidated just a little. It was like stepping into a museum for the rich. A place where she didn’t belong. She wasn’t that intimidated. Not enough to back down. Her friend was too important. “Because of Cole. Because he cares about you.” She shut her eyes and counted to ten, trying to come up with the right words. “And you’re married. So you can just tell him the truth and get out of his life.” Oh, hell. She felt her face heat in embarrassment. Too late. She couldn’t believe she’d blurted her thoughts out all at once in front of him. So maybe she was a lot intimidated. It wasn’t the house. It was the man. He’d always been imposing. Quentin Jeffries could make her shake with one long stare from those gray eyes. She’d been awed and ultimately crushed by him once before. He’d mattered more—personally and professionally—back when she was an impressionable undergrad. That wasn’t true now. “Am I married?” Tall and imposing on the outside didn’t mean you couldn’t be little and slimy on the inside. “I was at those damned student parties you hosted. You know—the ones you hosted along with your wife? Your incredibly attractive wife.” She’d daydreamed about trading places with his wife once, a long time ago. She’d been an idiot. Not that she’d admit she’d done anything of the kind, and things were different now. “Are you absolutely sure? Haven’t you kept up with departmental gossip?” “I haven’t been back to your department in years. What would be the point?” She’d die rather than admit all her so-called friends had stopped talking to her when she was forced out. There was nothing to go back to. “Maybe to find out I’m divorced. A messy, ugly, scandalous divorce where everyone else could look sanctimonious and murmur how it was lucky there weren’t any children involved. It was as bad a divorce as even you might have wished on me, sweetheart.” Sarah thought she saw his jaw tighten for just a moment, as if he wished he could swallow the words. “Oh.” He was single and probably out of the closet. Now what was she supposed to do with all her righteous anger?
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“You still look like you want to kill me. Is that all for Cole? Are you sure?” “I’m still mad over what happened three years ago, but I’d never have tracked you down for that. I didn’t do it when you basically kicked me out of the running to get into the English grad department, and I wouldn’t do it now.” She swallowed. “I thought you were trying to fuck Cole over. Why wouldn’t I? Look what you do to other people. Does screwing up lives come so easily to you that you don’t think twice about it? How do you live with yourself?” “Since you haven’t told me how I’m screwing up Cole’s life, I have to assume this is really about your life. About my recommendation you find a different field of study.” “No, it’s not! What you’re doing to Cole now is worse, but—” “Because I was right about you.” “What do you mean you were right?” Sarah forced the words through her clenched teeth. It hurt to keep from screaming. But better vicious control than trying to strangle someone bigger and stronger than her, right? “What I said. Where are you now?” “In graduate school. I’m doing well there. No thanks to you.” “In the history department.” “Yes!” “Which is likely where you belonged all along. When your history advisor asked me about admitting you, I told him you’d thrive there even if you had started later in the game and had only minored in history as an undergraduate.” “You said something in my favor? I don’t understand.” She had no idea why she hadn’t figured out before that everyone in the university checked things out with everyone else. Of course they’d asked him. Jesus. It wasn’t humiliating enough she’d sort of had a crush on him back then. Now she had to know he’d both kicked her out and helped get her a place in the history department. She’d been so proud of doing that on her own. “It was simple enough. You weren’t right for the English department. You weren’t interested in literature. You were interested in the history that created literature. In politics, in sociology—in anything but the play of words. You had almost taken a double major in history
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anyhow, you were so interested in it.” He sounded as cool as if he were discussing the time of day, rather than how he’d destroyed her plans. “I…I loved literature.” “Then why not transfer to another school and prove me wrong? Why go to another department where you’re doing well now? Better than you ever did as a literature student.” Had he checked her grades too? Probably. “So you were a bastard to me all for my own good?” If you say yes, I’m going to scream. The silence lasted just long enough for Sarah to wonder if she’d actually kicked away a little of that ice to the human underneath. Instead Dr. Quentin Jeffries looked at her with even more composure. “No. I was a bastard because my wife was leaving our marriage, and she hated me. I hated myself, and I hated that she’d outed me…to myself if not to anyone else. I had to admit I wasn’t a married man who sometimes had sex with men. I was going to be a divorced man because I wanted sex with men more than I wanted to be married. And you looked like my ex. Everything I wanted to say and do to her and couldn’t, I took out on you.” Sarah blinked. Well, that was unexpected. Why did she suddenly feel awful for being right? None of that had been her fault. He had been as bad as she claimed all along. But she’d never expected him to admit it. And she hadn’t expected to feel a trace of pity for him. Not that he seemed to be asking for any. “Now I don’t know what to say.” He didn’t hesitate at all. “That makes a pleasant change. My helping you find your true calling was a happy mistake for you. I didn’t do it for altruistic reasons. You’re right. I was a bastard.” “And that’s supposed to make me forgive you? Because now you’ve changed or something?” She wasn’t clenching her teeth or trying to bite and scratch. That couldn’t mean she’d forgiven him. But at least she didn’t want him to die a slow, agonizing death in front of her so she could laugh. He could keel over after she left instead.
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He continued, “I’m not sure I’ve changed, but I’m comfortable with who I am. So I’m not out to prove how much of a bastard I can be any more.” She actually thought she saw a little sadness in him, but she knew she had to be wrong. That would make him too close to a human being. “Then why are you telling me this?” She had no idea, and she hated that he seemed to have outsmarted her in everything yet again. “For Cole. I want you to come with us for Christmas.” “Why?” She reminded herself she couldn’t trust him. Especially not his smile, even when it looked real. After all, his genuine amusement was usually at her, or someone else’s, expense. But it was a nice smile. Back before all hell had broken loose, she’d thought he was handsome. “Why?” Jeff asked. “Because you’re his Christmas present.”
Why had he bothered to tell her anything? Admittedly, it was rather funny to watch her almost strangle on what had to have been her next biting words. Instead of snarling, she gaped at him, finally silenced. That open mouth should have been unattractive, but he didn’t feel even faintly repulsed. Why did he want to reassure her? “What do you mean, Jeff?” He doubted she even knew she’d called him by his nickname. He knew she had no idea he liked the way she said it. “Cole wants you. I want to make him happy. Will you go along?” Cole. His boy. Their link. He thought of Cole’s face lighting up as he talked about Sarah. Jeff couldn’t remember the confident, protective Sarah Cole talked about—not from her gawky undergraduate days. But while they knew different Sarahs, this odd conversation was finally giving him glimpses of the one Cole knew. “So you’re wrapping me up in a bow and putting me under his tree for Christmas? Even if I could ignore how weird that idea is, he’d just figure I’d accepted your invitation for a ski trip. No sane person would figure out what you intended. Unless you were kidding. I mean, why the hell would Cole want me for anything?”
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She was right. He was insane. He should never have asked, and most especially, he shouldn’t be eager for her to say yes. Not now, when she looked so much like Veronica at her sweetest and most confused. That had always meant Veronica was planning something particularly sly. Of course, Sarah wasn’t Veronica. He knew that now he was calm. It had just taken a few years to get the right perspective after the divorce. A perspective that was getting screwed up again with Sarah’s reentrance into his life. He’d realized Cole might turn him down for a woman when he first agreed to invite Sarah with them for the holidays, but he’d played the odds. Jeff hadn’t realized Sarah was going to stir up feelings he’d thought he’d outgrown. He needed to think, not feel. Perhaps he should believe Sarah was still as naive as she looked, but accepting someone at face value was stupid. Even more stupid than when he’d done that with Veronica. At least when he’d been accepting before, he’d never been burned by a woman he cared about. You should be able to learn from mistakes. “It’s not quite that simple, my dear. I think it’s up to Cole to tell you why he wants you for a present before you dismiss the idea.” He saw how much she forced herself not to ask more, and that remaining perverse amusement made him want to laugh. “Fine. I’ll ask him. That doesn’t let you off the hook. What are you planning to tell Cole yourself? He’s going to want answers. You know, like why you gave me to him for Christmas? What do you say? That you bought me, but I can be returned if I’m not what he wanted?” He touched the back of her hand, and she didn’t flinch. “Do you want to hear what I’ll tell him?” “Yes. Yes, I do.” Sarah thought she was fierce. He didn’t have the heart to tell her she wasn’t. There was no more threat in her right now than a declawed kitten. Telling her so wouldn’t make her agree to his plan. Cole’s plan. Instead, he stopped touching her and settled back in his chair. “Be with us for Christmas and you can.” Sarah looked at him and laughed. It sounded like a genuine laugh, one that made him want to laugh too. Apparently she and Cole both knew how to lighten his mood. Apparently she felt
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equally perverse amusement when he said something he shouldn’t. Who would have thought they could share a little twisted pleasure? “And that will be my Christmas present from you?” Sarah asked. “If that’s all you want.” He had the feeling he could make her want more too. Merry Christmas, Sarah. Would she run? Discount what he’d just said? She looked defiant. Ah, so she was neither running nor discounting. Interesting. More and more interesting as time went on. She said, “All right. I’ll come. I don’t think this is going to go the way you want it to.” I think it will. “We’re both honored to have you with us.” He smiled, hoping to relax and lull her. Because now he felt just a little predatory. Just edgy enough to feel some anticipatory greed. He might pounce if she wasn’t careful. Shit. Or if he wasn’t. This wasn’t the plan. “Do you want to see Cole now?” “He’s here?” “He’s resting. He’s probably still sore.” He caught her sideways glance at him before she looked away. She was speculative, not frightened. That was good. Very good. This Christmas might be more interesting than he’d expected. She said flatly, “I don’t trust you, Dr. Jeffries. You’re dangerous. I’ll come along because you are, and Cole isn’t. Someone needs to take care of him.” Oh, better yet. Instead of creating the annoyance she intended, still more amusement flared up in him. She was going to keep an eye on him? Save Cole from himself? That should be quite a performance. It was almost as if she were giving him a Christmas present that could keep him anticipating fun for weeks. Now he needed to add Cole to the mix. His amusement ebbed a little. He didn’t know how Cole would react.
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It might be better not to keep wondering what Cole would do. Waiting wouldn’t change anything. Better to just shove them together and see. He wasn’t going to try to work this out. It was up to the two of them. Sarah and— Cole. He fought a sudden flare of jealousy. Sarah was more than the ingenuous undergrad he remembered, but Cole was his. His boy. His to touch, to savor, to own. But only as long as Cole was willing to be his boy. He wasn’t going to try to hang on to this relationship the way he’d tried with Veronica. He could trust someone or he couldn’t. It was time to find out what he meant to Cole.
**** Cole woke up, his ass and nipples stinging, just enough to make him realize his mind was fuzzy, and he was horny. Recovering from intense sex took him time. He wouldn’t mind a few more hours of cocooning under the covers, maybe with Jeff beside him, coaxing him into more. A little coffee, a little rev-up sex. The dip in the mattress told him Jeff was there. Cole smiled, his eyes still closed. His wish was coming true. He turned his head slightly to let Jeff kiss him. “Wake up, boy. Company.” Jeff’s lips brushed his mouth, which gave Cole just enough time to think about his man’s words before Cole burrowed back into sleep. “Company?” Cole opened his eyes at the promise in Jeff’s voice. Here and now? Jeff wasn’t into threesomes that often. “Yeah?” “Your playmate is here. Sarah.” Playmate? “Sarah.” He struggled up on an elbow while he tried to think. “Wait a minute.” But Jeff had opened the bedroom door, and in the next second, he was out, and Sarah was in. She had a dress on. Her pretty brown hair was braided into something severe. She looked dressed up and definitely not what he’d expected this morning.
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“I… Hello.” That was stupid to say, but he was still dazed from the night before. The aftersex fuzz was already fading, though. He grew more awake by the second as he stared into her brown eyes. Her face was a little pinched. “Are you all right?” Didn’t he look all right? “Of course.” Cole pushed his hair back and then sat up. The blanket slipped down, and he saw her studying his chest. He wasn’t big on blushing, but his face grew hot with embarrassment. There were hardly any marks on him, considering what had happened—Jeff knew what he was doing—but there were enough. If Sarah knew anything about BDSM, she’d be able to guess some of what they’d done last night. If she didn’t, she was probably imagining something pretty bad. “Of course you’re all right.” Sarah sounded doubtful, but she sat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t get this.” That makes two of us. Why had Jeff left her here before Cole had a chance to explain things to Sarah? Why had he left her with him at all? Jeff knew what Cole wanted. Cole had been honest. Honesty was something Jeff demanded. Cole wanted Jeff, and he wanted to be his sub. But Sarah was… He wanted Sarah too, even though he didn’t think he could get her. Jeff didn’t share. He’d made that clear from the start. Cole had respected that—even craved it. Cole was tired of chasing for attention, men, and sex. Jeff provided everything he wanted. Staying monogamous for Jeff made the hopeless quest for Sarah that much easier to put aside. He’d wanted Christmas with his two best-loved friends and partners, but he hadn’t been entirely sure he could get them to agree, even though his persuading skills were finely honed. And he’d been damn sure he wouldn’t get the two of them on his terms. But here Sarah was. In bed with him. Not as much in bed as Cole might like, but closer to what he might like than he’d ever been before. Thanks to Jeff. Wasn’t that weird and a little unsettling.
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“I’m glad to see you.” That was something Cole was sure of. That and he was still horny. But he didn’t think Sarah was ready to know more about that second part. “Kiss me good morning, Sarah.” He’d never asked that before. They used to hug and kiss at first. They’d stopped. He knew why he’d stopped, but he wondered if she did. He’d been afraid to mess things up. He knew what to do with men, but Sarah—Sarah was different. He’d been both wanting and afraid to try before. Now, still more asleep than awake, given some kind of half-assed permission from his master… He wasn’t going to think when he could feel. He wanted her pretty hands on him. Her mouth. Finally he wasn’t afraid. He just wanted. Yeah. To start, he wanted that mouth. Then he would see if Sarah might want as many things from him as he had begun to want from her. He got closer, ready for that kiss. “Cole!” She sounded surprised but not angry. Maybe she would say yes next. Maybe. At least it wasn’t a no right away. He’d been terrified for weeks it would be a no. “If I say please?” He smiled at her. “Please, Sarah?” For the first time he reached for her. He promised her silently he’d be slow and gentle. He wasn’t about to scare her now. Cautiously he laid his hands over hers and trailed them up to her cheek. Thank God she bent forward, like a princess in a fairy tale ready to kiss the prince. Her brown hair, already slipping from its braid, fell over his shoulders as she drew near. If he wanted, he could trace the veins in her skin. Her breath skimmed against his mouth. God. So beautiful. He closed his hand around her nape, holding her near him.
Cole was kissing her. He kissed her gently, like a young boy with his first girlfriend, his hand resting lightly on the back of her head as if he was afraid to touch. Oh. Maybe he was afraid. And maybe she was his first. She was suddenly afraid. What if she didn’t live up to his expectations?
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He opened his eyes after the kiss, and they were blue and heated. So very sweet. He leaned toward her this time, fumbling a little to get closer. Still innocent. Still sweet. The sweet tempted her beyond the fear. She was the one who deepened the next kiss, who let a rough gasp escape instead of soft sighs. She pushed her hands into his hair and pulled him close, looking for—for something. She wanted him more eager and closer and just more. She could finally admit to herself, and to him, she wanted him. More than she’d ever wanted anything in her life. Cole’s touch changed as his kiss deepened. His hands gripped her, matching her own hold on him. He pulled her down on top of him, his hard-on stiffening against her belly. Careful. He just woke up. Men are like that when they wake up. It didn’t have to mean anything. “Beautiful Sarah.” His voice was husky as he nuzzled his head between her breasts. She wasn’t beautiful. She could be attractive when she worked at it—ordinary when she didn’t, which was most of the time. But God, she wished she were right now. Beautiful for him. Beautiful enough to make him interested in her the way her hungry body reminded her she was in him. She’d tried to ignore it, but of course Cole was sexy. And she was interested. So interested. She had been forever. “You’re the beautiful one.” She managed to make it sound like half a joke. He wasn’t serious. She couldn’t allow herself to think that. “I’m not looking at me, Sarah. I’m looking at you. Nothing but you.” He kissed her, openmouthed now, greedy, breaking the kiss only to rake her lips and chin with his teeth. “God, I want you.” The sheets had tumbled away, and he was naked beneath her. She was beyond thinking— not even the crazy, incoherent thoughts she’d had swirling in her head since she entered his bedroom. “Here I am.” She sounded weak. Too weak to keep trying to make it a joke and walk away. She shifted even tighter against him, feeling the warmth and pulse of his cock through the silk of her panties.
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He turned his head, letting her body trap him, and stretched to kiss the top of one breast. God. The fabric had twisted down off her shoulder. She tried to pull back; he licked her nipple. Oh, hell. She unbuttoned her dress; the hem had pulled itself up over her knees as they’d struggled together. If he wanted to touch a woman’s body—her body—she wasn’t going to resist. She slid her hands against his naked chest and kissed the base of his throat. Resist? She was going to surrender so fast he wouldn’t even know there had been any question of battle. She kicked, squirming to get at her panties, and he helpfully pulled them down to her knees, leaving her legs trapped for a moment. She wanted to spread them open and straddle him, but the restraint felt good too. Cole was the one to finish removing them, his hands sweeping down her legs as he did, caressing her skin. “Are you sure?” She rested her upper body weight on her elbows and looked down at him. Those fiery blue eyes stared up at her, and he slid his cock up the V of her legs, almost but not quite opening her. “What do you think, sweetie? Of course I’m sure. Can’t you tell? I’ve been very curious for a long time.” “About women?” “About you.” He pumped his cock, pressing up and down against her moist opening. She had never felt so wet in her life. Cole continued, “I’ve been dreaming about this. How it would be with you. All the different ways we could—” He stopped talking when she slipped her hand between them to grip his cock. She slid her fist up, enjoying how soft and smooth his cock’s head was under her hand—and how hard his shaft was. It was all hers to play with for now. When his penis stiffened even more under her touch, she sucked in a breath, heat flashing through her. He did want her. Who would have thought? He met her gaze and then pointed to the bedside table. Condoms. Right there, waiting. All she had to do was reach out, take one, and break all the old rules between them. She reached and slid the latex sheath over him. They both gasped as she finished.
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She didn’t want to play by the rules anymore. She wanted him to fill her. It only took a second to make that happen. To have his cock stretching her open. Filling what had been empty and now was almost crammed to overflowing. She fought to relax against the pressure, while his hard length pushed in a little more without her help. “Sarah. Saraaah.” He breathed it out in a long, sweet moan. “’S good.” She moved then, whimpering, trying to force her tight walls to open faster and give her, both of them, more. Her fingers slipped on his sweaty shoulders, and she raked her nails against his chest. “Jesus!” Cole bucked underneath her. “Do that again.” Oh, yes. Yesss. She leaned over and bit his nipple. He yelped and then went still. Shit. She’d screwed things up. Wasn’t he supposed to like sex that way? Before she could register it was happening, she was lying back down on the bed, and Cole was on top. “My turn, Sarah. Sweetie.” His voice wasn’t quite as gentle as before. He slid into her, as if they’d done this hundreds of times. She was so wet, and he felt so perfect. “The first thing you want is missionary-style?” She tried to laugh. “I thought you’d be bored by that.” “No.” He grunted the word. Oh. Then again, missionary was probably new for him. And the way he focused on her as he did made it new for her. “Oh God, Cole.” He gave one long, lingering stroke, as if checking to see where his cock felt best. Everywhere. That was where it felt best. That was how he felt to her. “Harder?” “God, yes. Hard.” She tried to wiggle her hips up higher and could have cried when he laughed.
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“All right, then. Tell me if you want me to stop.” He slammed into her, slammed the breath out of her. Slammed more need into her. “Don’t stop. Don’t.” She clawed at his skin, desperate for more. Whining gulps of air forced out of her lungs when she remembered to breathe. Blood pounded in her ears, deafening her. “Never been…sweet…” Cole. Jesus. “Fuck! Oh, fuck, Sarah!” Sarah couldn’t speak. It was all she could do to keep up with the ever-faster rhythm he set. She tried to lock her ankles around his shoulders, and then the small of his back, but her feet slipped against the sweat trickling down Cole’s back. She arched up instead, wanting more. She couldn’t breathe! She couldn’t get air into her lungs. Everything inside her seemed frozen, desperate for release. They were going to die fucking. He rested his weight on his elbows, the way she had not so long ago, and thrust even harder. She gasped as his lips tightened against his teeth, sweat dripping down his face. This man wasn’t sweet or submissive; he wasn’t the Cole she’d known so long. She wanted him anyhow. Hell, she wanted him more than a sweet or submissive Cole. “I’m going to fuck your brains out.” He stared into her eyes and said each word distinctly. She thought she laughed, if that hoarse sound out of her mouth was a laugh and not a whimper. “Go ahead.” The rhythm changed, turned into nothing but short, hard strokes inside her. She arched, gritting her teeth. She wasn’t going to break before he did, she wasn’t, she wasn’t… “Oh God, Cole.” She couldn’t talk, couldn’t— She came. Came with a white-hot blast that released her from the twisting desire that had ratcheted her so tight. Came as she felt Cole burst inside her, filled with his own release.
**** She opened her eyes when Cole sat up in bed but hastily shut them again. What now?
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Cole brushed a kiss against one of her eyebrows. “Thank you.” Was that a “damn glad we did this” thank-you or a “get me the hell out of here without a scene” thank-you? Sarah didn’t like to think she was a coward…especially an obvious coward, but she kept her eyes shut. She wasn’t sure what to say. Someone didn’t just go from being gay to wanting her in twenty-four hours. Whatever Cole was going to tell her next, it probably wasn’t what she wanted to hear. She could handle that eventually, but not yet. Please. Not while she still had the smell and feel of him all around her. “Sarah, are you weirding out on me? Does having sex mean you won’t talk to me afterward? I’m not up on female bed manners.” “No!” She opened her eyes. “That’s good.” Cole crossed his legs Indian-style on the bed, still naked, and yawned. His blond hair stuck up in sweaty spikes. “Because, you know, you’ve worn me out, and I can’t think. But I did figure we’re friends first, just like always. And maybe lovers? So we should be able to talk.” That sounded slightly discouraging, but at least he hadn’t refused to say lovers. Sarah sat up too, carefully keeping the sheet around her. Cole eyed her and smiled. “Too late, sweetie. I got a peek at all your girl parts.” He leaned forward, close enough for his breath to puff lightly against her mouth. “It didn’t kill me.” “That’s…good. Cole?” “Yeah?” “I don’t understand. I mean, Jeff said…and you said…” Sarah took a breath and tried again. “We’ve always been friends, and you’ve always been gay. So. Why?” “Apparently for some people—well, so far for one person in particular, I’m bi. Learn something new about yourself all the time.” Cole sounded unconcerned, but he leaned back again, and she could tell he was studying her. “Is that a problem for you?” “I’m…I’m…” Ecstatic. Confused. Scared. No, ecstatic definitely won out. “I’m so fucking happy.” Sarah leaned forward to get into his personal space this time. “We’re always going to be friends. This is icing on the buddy cake. More icing than I’d ever hoped for.” There was a long silence.
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Cole wasn’t talking. Something was wrong. Very, very wrong. He cleared his throat. “I was hoping for…I was hoping for a little better than friends with benefits.” Forget confused. She was moving to stunned. And thrilled. Was thrilled better than ecstatic? She was whatever was better than ecstatic, and she needed to stop the mind babble. This was…she’d never expected any of this. “Oh, hell yes! But…” “But what?” Cole brushed her hair from her face. “But what about Jeff?” Why the hell was she thinking about that now? Except there was a Jeff, and he was important. Was this what Jeff had expected Cole to tell her for Christmas? Somehow she didn’t get that feeling from him. Jeff wasn’t a graceful loser. “I want Jeff.” Cole’s eyes fired again. “Why would loving you change that? I’ve just opened up new possibilities, not shut down old ones.” “Oh.” For some reason that qualification steadied her, despite the slap of sudden disappointment. Things weren’t perfect after all. But that was her Cole talking, the genius who didn’t quite get all the social nuances. Not that sex was exactly a social nuance. “I don’t think you’ve thought everything out.” She might—might—be desperate enough to share Cole. Sundays with me, Mondays with… But she wasn’t interested in sharing with someone like Jeff. And she was sure Jeff didn’t want to share at all. Jeff had probably thought Cole would back off or be disappointed if she and Cole had sex. Wrong again, Jeffie. “No, baby. I have thought it out. Carefully. For a long, long time in graphic detail. Mmmm.” Cole kissed her mouth this time. It was hotter and more possessive than she’d expected. “What I think is that the two most important people in my life haven’t thought hard enough.”
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Chapter Four Jeff sat in the dusk of his office, the computer long since switched into power-saving mode, left alone with only the dull light of the monitor and his alcohol for company. It seemed like hours. Cole and Sarah had been together for hours. In his house. What else had he expected? Wrong question since he’d expected Cole to be with him by now. The right question was—what else should he have expected? He’d been too confident. He’d forgotten what it was like to be as young as Cole. As hopeful as Cole. He’d thought Cole would pick him. “Jeff?” His boy leaned against the office doorway, washed and dressed and looking—he didn’t know how Cole looked in the darkness. Defiant? He could tell his boy didn’t have a submissive stance. But then Cole wasn’t his boy. Neither of them said anything. Finally Cole sighed and asked, “Are you angry with me?” Angry? How could he be? He’d brought it on himself, hadn’t he? Pushed the kid. Thought he’d known Cole. Thought he’d known what the kid would ultimately choose. Fuck yes, he was angry. “What do you want from her, Cole?” Jeff switched on the light. He was going to see what he was up against. “I don’t know what you mean.” But from the sulk on Cole’s face, it was clear he damn well did. Sulking aside, the kid didn’t look unhappy. The bastard. “Who’s topping?” Jeff took a sip of the brandy to keep from demanding more. He had to remember he’d asked for all of this, and Cole had given it to him.
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“M—None of your business.” Cole hadn’t given him that tone or attitude for weeks. Disrespect and sulking together? He’d established the acceptable behavior boundaries on their first night together, and Cole had stayed within them…until now. Jeff decided to ignore the sulk and concentrate on something even more important. “I don’t know if she’s a sub, although she snaps to when I give her a command. But she doesn’t like it. She’s completely new to the scene. Hell, she probably doesn’t even know what a scene is. She’s trouble, Cole.” “What if I want some trouble?” Jeff had to smile, even though it hurt. “You always want trouble.” Cole smiled back, but more serious words came out of his mouth. “What if I want something else? Something…something different.” Jeff stopped smiling. It was too much effort anyhow. “What?” “I don’t want Sarah to sub, exactly. Or to domme. At least I don’t think I do. I want…I want her. The way she wants to be. Do you know I haven’t ever had a relationship that didn’t include being topped? Never did something other people think of as normal?” Those words ripped at him inside, almost like physical pain. Cole wanted what his master couldn’t give him. “Normal? You want a man-woman thing? Something simple—or at least something simpler than what you have now? Something people wouldn’t look at and pass judgment on?” “I didn’t say that. I didn’t mean it that way. This is about Sarah. How I feel with her. It’s different.” The kid was wrong. It was about him. About how he felt back when he was Cole’s age, and how he felt when he thought he could do something “simple.” It got complicated, really fast. “It’s just about Sarah? You don’t care what you have to do or how it works as long as you get to fuck her? I don’t think you can live like that, boy.” Cole’s face stopped him. It wasn’t sulky and young anymore. It was tired. Adult. “You’re being the asshole Sarah said you were. Don’t.” It ached to swallow his words, but he did it, just the way he had earlier. Because Cole was close enough to right. And because he was right too. No good came from trying to twist yourself
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into becoming something other than what you were. But no good came of trying to explain that to someone who didn’t want to know. No matter what, he wasn’t going to become a bitter ex in front of Cole. Long before Cole arrived, he’d made the decision to accept what he was—a dom who wanted to stay that way, more than he wanted permanent ties—and that meant he let others come and go freely, the way he wanted it for himself. Jeff took another swallow and let the brandy burn down his throat. He could shut up, but he wasn’t going to apologize. He wasn’t that big a person. And he wouldn’t have meant the apology anyhow. “Jeff.” He didn’t want to answer. Didn’t want to say good-bye. Fuck. He reached for the bottle, refusing to look at Cole. “Don’t withdraw on me, man. I’m not going to lose you. I can’t. I need you.” “What?” That was so far from what Jeff had been bracing to hear that he wasn’t sure he had heard the words for a minute. “I need you,” Cole repeated, softer now, sounding a little less certain. “I thought you needed her. Sarah.” “So?” Cole shrugged. “It’s not one or the other with me. I want both. I like being topped too. You know that. So of course I want both.” Both. “That might be a little much to ask Santa.” When does Cole ever know when something is too much? The boy’s face lit into a Cole smile. “But it’s Christmas! And I’ve been very, very good this year.” He moved even closer to Jeff, still smiling. Jeff braced himself, but Cole didn’t try to slide into his lap. He leaned over instead and ran his tongue over Jeff’s ear. The little fucker knew what that did to him.
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Jeff gripped Cole’s hand, the hand resting possessively on his shoulder. “Are you topping from below now?” He’d never allowed that before, but if anyone could get away with it, it would be Cole. “Nope. Wishing you a merry Christmas. I’m feeling good, and I want to thank you for bringing Sarah along on our trip. For…for letting her be here.” Why the hell had he done it? He’d told Sarah it was because Cole wanted it. And God, clearly Cole did. But… “I should thank you right now.” Cole licked his lips as he rubbed against his master’s cock. “Here. On the desk maybe.” “No.” He stopped and stared. “What? You mean I shouldn’t thank you? Or… What do you mean?” “I don’t mind fucking you, but I think it’s time we stopped playing. I don’t compete for sex, and I don’t share. So I think it’s time for me to opt out.” That sounded as unyielding as he wanted it to be. He had rules and damn it, they were good ones. “But…but…you brought Sarah here. You said…” For a moment Cole looked even younger than he was. Jeff realized sometimes he said too much. Counted on too much. Had counted on Cole seeing things his way once Cole realized how impossible his dream was. But that didn’t seem to be the way things would be. “Merry Christmas, kid.” Jeff turned to the drawer in his desk and fumbled inside. “Here. Take the keys to the cabin. Have a good holiday with her. It’s a good-bye present.” He wasn’t a dreamer. He hadn’t been for years. “Jeff!” Cole stared at the keys in his hand. “What the hell kind of game is this? You gave me permission to have her when you sent her into my room. My bedroom, for God’s sake.” Cole had been staying with him, but Jeff had insisted on separate bedrooms no matter how much sex they had together. It was cleaner that way. Safer. No one got any ideas about moving in permanently. Except Cole apparently already had. While he dreamed about his Sarah, of course, and screwed his host. That wasn’t how it was supposed to work.
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“My bedroom. It still is my fucking house.” The anger was good. It blasted away the ice that knotted Jeff’s stomach. Cole’s bewilderment changed to anger. Good. He wanted the kid to be as furious as he was. “Your fucking bedroom. Right. I forgot. You don’t share anything. I’ll move out, then.” “You still have your own place. Don’t act like I’m kicking you out into the snow.” “Fuck off. You know I haven’t been back to my apartment in weeks. But I guess I know now why you insisted I keep on paying rent there. Asshole.” Yeah. He was an asshole. It did the job. He watched as Cole retreated step by step, still staring at him like Jeff had been the one who betrayed their relationship. The door shut. Jeff eyed the brandy. It seemed too civilized a drink to take the bad taste out of his mouth. Besides, it was almost empty. He wanted to get up and switch to something else. Drink himself completely numb. But it was too much effort. And if he left the room, he might see Cole packed and on his way out the door. Cole. Jeff refused to let the feelings get past the alcohol. They’d each made up their minds, hadn’t they? He wouldn’t have any feelings for the kid left in another week. Damn it, Cole. Why should he miss the kid? For all his outrage, the little fucker had taken the keys. He’d have his Christmas with her after all.
**** Jeff had waited long enough. Cole had to have gone by now. Damn it, why was he cowering in this room anyhow? It was his house, and Cole had fucked up. Jeff stood up, vaguely pleased he wasn’t immediately ready to fall down again after the drinks. Maybe the rage would also burn away the hangover he’d have tomorrow. Another thing to blame Cole for. He opened the door and almost fell.
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“What the hell—” There, obviously just rudely awakened, was Cole, lying on the floor across the threshold of the door. Cole scrambled to his knees, eyes still heavy from sleep. “Please,” Cole whispered. Jeff couldn’t help it, even though he knew it was a bad idea. He put his hand on Cole’s lowered head. “Please what, boy?” “Please forgive me. I’m sorry.” Cole was the picture of kneeling submission—head down, shoulders slumped. Jeff’s cock hardened even as his smarter head tried to protest. Cole knew what buttons to push. Damn him. “What do you want?” “Whatever you want, Sir.” Played. He was being played. But Cole looked so right. Jeff was going to fall for it. He knew it. He wanted to. His boy—and just who owned whom right now?—knew it too. There wasn’t a trace of a smile on Cole’s face, and his tone and posture were completely humble, but Jeff knew what was going on inside. At least his numbness was going away. Cole was here. “Please discipline me, Sir.” “Get up. You’ll show me how sorry you are.” He could do this. He felt fine—completely in control again. It was like he had never drunk anything. “Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.” Cole stumbled up from his knees, and Jeff dragged him back inside the study.
**** Things were going from perfect to almost perfect, and then crashing down to hideous way too quickly. Apparently she’d fallen asleep for a little bit, just like a guy did after sex. Sarah wasn’t sure how long she was out. Once she woke up, she’d waited. Paced. Taken a shower. Cole had promised to be back, but it’d been too long for a simple talk or even a long argument.
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Of course he’d gone to see Jeff. She knew that without Cole saying anything. Cole had seemed to think he could take care of things. She didn’t really expect he could. But what she also hadn’t expected was Jeff would have him stay after Cole explained. What the hell else could she do besides leave? Cole knew where she lived if he wanted to find her. She got dressed, knowing playtime was over, then took a deep breath and opened the bedroom door. No one was there. She stepped out into the hall and started down the stairs. She froze when she heard voices. The study door was ajar. Oh, damn. She was going to leave. She wasn’t going to eavesdrop, she wasn’t going to… “You lost track. Start again. Count of three, boy. Begin.” That was Jeff’s voice. Then there was the solid thwack of something hard against human flesh followed by the sound of a moan. Sarah swallowed. Another smack. By the third, her nails were digging into her palms. “Three.” Cole’s voice was husky, as if he was in pain—or horny. “How many do you receive?” Thwack. “Twelve, Sir. But you’ve already landed a few—” “Did I ask for conversation?” Thwack. “Shit!” She winced at the next blow. “Six…Sir.” The number hissed through Cole’s teeth. “Is your ass on fire?” Thwack. Thwack. “Yes, Sir.” “Did I tell you to speak? You could have nodded. I should start again for disobedience. Now listen. You can count out loud. Nothing else.” Thwack. “Fucking nine.”
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“Fucking? You get fucked when I tell you, how I tell you, and you come when I let you. Is that clear?” Thwack. Thwack. Furniture creaked. Cole didn’t say anything unless deep whimpering breaths counted. When was he getting that last strike? Sarah swallowed, disgusted that she was shifting her feet as eagerly as Cole probably was. Cole was in pain, and she was waiting—anticipating—the final blow. Thwack. “Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus. Thank you, Sir.” “You’re hard, boy. And dripping. You want to come.” “Of course, Sir.” “Can anyone else do this to you?” “You’re my master. You’re the only one who can discipline me.” Sarah wasn’t sure if she heard tears or bliss in that voice, the way it wavered. “It looks like you hurt your wrists against those ties. Were they too tight?” “It’s only a little hurt. I’m fine. I swear.” “If you’re fine, then you know what happens next.” “God, yes! But can I… Can I have a minute? I need to settle, and my ass is on fire. Just like you promised.” Sarah bit the knuckle of her thumb to keep from crying out. “That’s not all I promised. Kiss the cane, boy.” No! She wasn’t going to listen. Sarah moved forward. Toward the door. She swore to herself she was headed to the exit, not to get closer to the study. But she couldn’t help hearing more as she slipped by the room, praying they were too involved to look out. “God damn it. Thank you.” Cole’s voice was thready. Furniture rocked again. “More.”
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She couldn’t help looking either. Before she moved away, she caught a glimpse of two bodies and Cole writhing against the study chair. His face was contorted with what could be pain or pleasure. And the tip of a cane was held against his ass. “Please, Sir. Harder.” How the hell was she supposed to compete with that? She couldn’t. She’d had less than an hour of what she’d thought was perfection with Cole. But Cole didn’t want that kind of perfect. He’d gone back to the scary-hot sex he knew. Really scary. And God knows, it was hot. Somehow she hadn’t known how hot it could be until she heard it. Sarah forced the tears back. She’d have time to cry later. Plenty of time to realize just how stupid she’d been. Her hands were so sweaty they slipped on the doorknob of the front door. She wiped them on her clothing and tried again. With a small snick the door opened. Cole’s scream filled the house. She crossed the threshold and took a deep breath to steady herself. Then, safely outside, she ran.
Jeff heard the door shut as he skimmed his fingers down his boy’s sweaty back. He smiled. Then his smile faded.
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Chapter Five Sarah stared at the blinking lights of the tree in the store window. Stupid lights. Stupid tree. Damn stupid holidays. She’d packed up since it was the last day to stay in the dorms, but she still hadn’t made any plans. She wasn’t in the mood to even pretend to celebrate. She ignored her cell phone’s buzz. If Cole was trying to call—and he seemed to be the only other person left in town—she didn’t want to hear from him. She gave him points for trying to get in touch. But she wasn’t going to let anything or anyone make her feel as bad as she had last week, running from his stupid master’s house. Merry fucking Christmas. It was supposed to snow in the mountains. Good skiing weather, if you could get there. Not that it mattered. She wasn’t going there. She might never ski again. I hate him. No, him. Both of them. “Sarah.” “What the hell?” She jerked her head up at Jeff’s voice. “Why are you here?” How had he found her? That seemed creepy. Except he didn’t look creepy. He actually appeared concerned. “Because I wanted to find you. Let’s go.” She didn’t have to take orders from Jeff, but she found herself following him into the deli next to the department store. Within a few minutes, they sat face-to-face in a corner booth, waiting for coffee. It was all very civilized. Sarah supposed there was no reason for him not to be. After all, caning a shared lover after that lover had sex with her might be normal for some people in the lifestyle. That made her the abnormal one. Lovely. She needed out. Really, what could he possibly say to her? “Sarah, I’m sorry.”
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She couldn’t help it. She jerked her head up again and stared. An apology from Dr. God Almighty Jeffries? Before she’d completely recovered from the shock, she said exactly what was on her mind. “Don’t lie. You don’t think you have anything to apologize for.” Oh, damn. It was never a good thing for her to say what she really thought about anything, and especially about this man. He didn’t react the way she expected. He shook his head, still looking concerned. “I really am sorry. Not for the sex. But for starting a scene when I wasn’t in full control of myself, and for letting you see something you weren’t ready for.” He didn’t touch her, but his stare was almost as probing. She wouldn’t look down. She wouldn’t. He turned his head away instead and nodded to the waitress who brought the steaming mugs of coffee. Sarah waited until the woman left before asking the only important question. “Is Cole all right?” He smiled. “Cole is worried about you, but otherwise fine. He’s waiting for me to call as soon as I find you.” “Yet you haven’t called.” The coffee was too hot. It burned on the way down. “He can wait a bit longer. I thought we needed to straighten out a few things between ourselves first.” That sounded a lot like a stern lecture was coming. Sarah wasn’t in the mood. “Why?” “Because Cole wants us to.” “There is that. Why do we put up with him?” The minute she said it, she wanted to kick herself. That wasn’t what she should have said. There was no us vs. Cole here. “He’s impossible. That’s part of what we love about him.” Jeff shrugged. “Besides, I don’t know about you, but I like a challenge.” “Do you mean Cole or me?” “Either. Both.” His smile could be charming. She didn’t want to melt under its influence. “You don’t give a damn about me.”
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“Actually, in some strange way, I do. Otherwise I would have done my best to have Cole leave you here. I would have managed it too, the way Cole was feeling about me and my skills last night.” “That’s only because you got to him last.” Sarah wasn’t sure about that, but it could be true. Just as true as what Cole’s damned top was saying. “You shouldn’t have done that to him. Not while you were angry.” “I probably shouldn’t. But I was even more careful with him because I knew I shouldn’t.” “What I saw didn’t look careful!” “Stop fighting for a minute and think. We both want the same thing.” “Cole?” He laughed. “Yes, but there’s something else that might keep us working together. We want to be sure Cole chooses the right person.” Except we disagree who the right person is. Sarah pushed her cup away. “I don’t think we’re going to reach a win-win here. One of us will lose. You know that.” “If we aren’t careful, we could both lose. Cole is capable of saying to hell with both of us if we push him too hard.” He covered her hand with his, and for a moment her breath froze in her throat as she stared down at their fingers, seeing how they linked together. Was he trying to rattle her? He’s doing it because he thinks he’ll win. Why else would he be…be generous and open? I think he’ll win too. Because I’m starting to feel as seduced as Cole. “So? What do you suggest, Jeff? Arm wrestling? Pistols at dawn?” I won’t let him win without a fight. “Nothing that dramatic. Come with us today. Up to my cabin.” It seemed like a million years ago she’d first contemplated going, only to hesitate. Now she had even more reason to say no, and she was still hesitating.
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“I fell a little in love with you when I was a lit student. Back at one of those parties you used to throw for your students.” She had no idea why she felt compelled to say that to him after years of refusing to acknowledge it even to herself. “I know. I remember. The night we talked for about an hour after almost everyone had left. About your classes and your goals and my teaching, and nothing about what we were really thinking.” “Oh God. You knew?” She wasn’t going to crawl under the table. She was going to remember that had been long ago, and she was a different person now. The man in front of her was probably different too. She was ready to concede that much. “Of course. I fell a little in love with you too. That’s why I told myself later on it was smarter for both of us you weren’t going to be one of my students.” Was he blushing? He said, “I apologize if that was any of the reason why I pushed you out. I didn’t think it was at the time, but…if it was, I am sorry.” All this time she’d wanted an apology. Now she didn’t know what to do with it. “Wonderful.” Cole’s voice at her ear made her jump. “Glad to see you both are having a nice cup of joe while I freeze my ass off looking for you, Miss Sarah.” How dare he sound like a scolding parent? How dare he sound so completely normal? “I’m not the one at fault here.” Sarah knew it sounded incredibly sulky. “So we have to be at fault?” Jeff could no more help arguing than breathing. “I don’t care who is. Just don’t try to make me feel guilty.” But she slid over as Cole settled in next to her. He was right—he was cold. She shivered beside him. “You guys make things so complicated.” Cole shook his head and took Sarah’s half-full coffee cup. “Do you want to keep spinning this out?” “That’s incredibly unfair too. You’re always the one who gets into these complicated messes and expects me to pull you out.” Sarah wished she could just hit her own personal Mute button. She knew what she was acting and sounding like, but she couldn’t stop.
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“That’s why you love me.” Cole put her cup down, empty. “And that’s why you don’t know how to act now. I’m keeping it very simple, Sarah. Sweetheart. Come with us. No drama. I’ll show you this can work.” “You better show both of us. I’m not the only one with problems about this, Cole. Sweetheart. Mr. Dominant over there doesn’t like the idea.” She glared, and Cole leaned over to kiss her, tonguing her just long enough to make her blush. And reconsider yet again. Her holiday was already going to be a misery. Why not play this all the way out and show herself, and these two men, that it could never work? Was it any worse than hiding in a hotel room somewhere, anywhere, pretending she didn’t care? “Sarah, it can work.” Cole sounded as if he were reading her mind. God knows they’d spent so much time together that half the time he could, just the way she could tell his thoughts. She looked over at Jeff, who was leaning back in his booth, eyes half shut, as if he were watching a somewhat uninteresting play. “What about you?” “I’m in.” Jeff put some money on the table and straightened up, not answering the question she meant at all. Cole slid out of his seat. “Let’s seal the deal, then.” Sarah stood up and caught Jeff before he slipped by her. She didn’t know what pushed her—what dark, previously unexamined curiosity made her do it—but she tangled her hands in Jeff’s red hair and kissed him with as much tongue as Cole had given her, holding him just long enough for Jeff to tense and then relax against her. Long enough for him to return her kiss. His tongue was soft and gentle once he stopped resisting. She slid her hands down farther, the muscles of his shoulders much harder than his lips. She had to stand on her toes to reach him, slightly off-balance as they swayed, joined mouth to mouth. Hot. His mouth was hot, no longer gentle, and he pulled need out of her, making it flood through her. She caught herself from moaning just in time. So that was what being with a dom was like. Without her realizing how it happened, with his hands still off her, he was taking charge, and she wanted him to.
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God. Sarah stepped back and stared at him, almost nose to nose. She could count each eyelash. He looked at her intensely, and it was suddenly hard to breathe. What had she started? Jeff’s face was unreadable. When she turned her head, she saw Cole was smiling, as if he was genuinely pleased. She hadn’t wanted either reaction, but now she’d gone and silently agreed to join them. She could change her mind. She should. She picked up her duffel bag instead and followed them out of the restaurant. “Sarah.” Cole held the door open for her, but his voice was tight. “What? I’m going with you, aren’t I?” “I see this is going to be difficult. Jeff, why don’t you go and hang out in that nice cold truck of yours for ten minutes? I need a quick talk with Sarah. Please.” Jeff studied them before he touched Cole’s shoulder. “I’ll be back here to pick you up in ten minutes.” Jeff took her bag and left. Obviously he was counting on Cole making sure she stuck with the program. “So…what?” She sounded like a thirteen-year-old. Right now she didn’t care. “You know what. We need to talk. About what you saw. About you and me and Jeff.” “We don’t need to talk about you and me and Jeff. There is no you and me and Jeff. It doesn’t matter what you want to have happen. There never will be a you, me, and Jeff.” “Sarah.” “Sorry.” They walked down the sidewalk. “What am I supposed to tell you? No matter what I say, you’ll try to tell me I’m wrong.” “I’ll talk about me, then. You know I like to do that. You can’t argue with me if I say how I feel.” “What a stupid rule.” Without her really agreeing, she found the two of them holding hands. So what? They used to do that. Besides, she was an idiot. None of what she said next mattered. She could drag her heels all she wanted, but everyone knew she had given in. Why pretend?
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It was embarrassing to have two men manipulate her so easily. “Sarah, you saved my life when I first got here.” “What?” As always, Cole surprised her. “I was so fucked-up, baby. You were the first friend I’d ever had.” He brushed his thumb against her palm, lingering in the sensitive hollow of her hand. “I mean that. The very first. Do you remember how we met?” “At…at a bar near campus. I don’t remember which one.” Cole, belligerent and provocative, had been arguing with one of the biggest guys in the department. One of the biggest and nastiest. Sarah hadn’t even had a chance to think about what she was doing before she stepped in. “I would have been smacked down, literally, if you hadn’t intervened. Because I was just self-destructive enough to have kept going until he beat the piss out of me.” “I know. I never got that.” Sarah swallowed. “Is it…is it because part of you wanted to submit?” That was as close as she wanted to get to asking whether he was looking for pain. “Yes and no. I was used to being yelled at and hit. You don’t want to know what my parents were like.” “You’re right. But I would have listened. You just never wanted to talk about it.” “Still don’t want to. I suppose I was lucky I got to leave for college at fourteen. But while my home life lasted, it was ugly, and it helped make me respond the way I do to threats and… and sex. I was used to people’s abuse. I’d get in their faces and ask for it, because that’s how it always worked whether I was aggressive or not. I didn’t want to go down without a fight. I even learned to like the fight. I know that, but I can’t always stop myself. Then you stood up for me and made other folks back down.” “Someone had to.” God. Cole had acted like an ass to so many people for so long. She’d thought he’d been willful. Deliberately looking for a little edge to his sex. She hadn’t really considered he was desperate and wanted—expected—to get hurt. Not at first. By the time she’d wondered what was driving him, it was too late. They’d been friends. She’d cared. “No one had to. No one ever had before. But you did.” Cole raised her hand to kiss it. “Do you know how much I love you for that?”
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“That’s why you love me? You’re grateful?” “One reason. Can’t deny it.” He grinned at her. “Plus you’re hot.” She looked at the sleek blond perfection next to her and shook her head. “Right. If you really meant all that, especially the hot part, you may be more fucked-up than I thought.” “Nah. I’m not. It’s you and Jeff who changed me. You’re the two people who make me think maybe I can get things right. I know I’m smart. But that didn’t seem to help me live my life.” “So we changed you because I keep you from being hurt and because he hurts you?” “You’re smarter than that. And not usually so bitchy. I guess seeing Jeff and me shook you up more than I expected.” “What did you expect, Cole? What else am I supposed to think about you and him? And all those other guys who…who exploit you? You’re smarter and sweeter and better than all that shit.” “Plus we made love, so you figured I was done with all that shit.” She sniffed, fighting to keep from completely letting tears fall. “I hoped so.” “I was afraid of that. It’s not that easy. Jeff saved me too. Because I need BDSM, honey. Maybe it’s because of my childhood, or maybe it’s just how I’m wired. But I do. And he’s… He’s the first one who has been willing to take care of me when I need it. He centers me.” “Centers you? I saw what he did.” And she could see how much calmer Cole was. Even his flirting was turned on low right now. But… “And you saw how I reacted. I love it. Did you hear him check and see I was all right before we kept going? He does that for me. He knows when I lie and when I’ve gone past my limits. He cares enough to find out, because I sure as hell didn’t tell him so at first. I never had with anyone before. Shit, I never even wanted to admit I had limits.” “Fine. So Jeff is your perfect dom.” “Well, for right now he is. Perfect for me. I like him, Sarah. He’s brilliant. We talk—you know, even outside of bed. He makes me feel safe. You make me feel safe too.” Cole’s hands
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snaked up to circle her wrists, almost like manacles. His voice shifted from smooth to urgent. “Don’t make me choose between you.” That was so Cole. Of course he didn’t want to pick if he could get it all. “I’m coming with you, Cole. We both are. I can’t promise any more than that.” “That’s all I’m asking for right now.” He looked past her shoulder. “Here comes Jeff, just like he promised. Sarah.” “Hmm?” “I can count on his promises. Just like I count on yours.” “Shut up. You won this round, all right?” Jeff honked the horn. She didn’t like his impatience, but he had a point. The snow was coming down harder. They didn’t need to get stuck on the road halfway up a mountain. “Sarah.” “What?” “You like him too.” “No, I don’t.” At least I shouldn’t. “Sarah.” “Oh, all right. I’m starting to realize I want to have sex with him. I just don’t want to accept it yet.” She expected a little more reaction to that than she got. Cole pulled her along toward the truck. “We can talk about that.” “Not in front of him we can’t.” She tried to haul herself up, scrabbling desperately at the seat. It was just too high. The blond fucker next to her laughed right before he helped push her into the cabin of the truck.
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Chapter Six “An artificial tree? An artificial tree in the middle of a forest?” Sarah helped drag the box out of the closet anyhow. “That’s just unnatural.” “You can go play outdoorswoman and tramp out in a snowstorm to chop down a tree. I’ll call Search and Rescue in a few hours to find you…after the mulled cider break.” Cole poked at the decorations box. “Damn, Jeff. You’re blowing the whole stereotype about tasteful gay decorating. What the hell is this purple and red thing?” “My nephew’s Christmas present to me when he was in first grade. He made it himself, so what could I do? I figure his parents heaved a sigh of relief when they unloaded it on me. You don’t have to hang it on the tree.” Sarah looked at Jeff. Oh, yes they did. Apparently he had a fondness for purple and red— or his family. Whatever she’d expected once they reached the house, it wasn’t picking out previously used tinsel from a small container. Or the smell of warm cider in the air. It was like home. Of course, the snow was already piled high enough that it would be suicidal to leave anytime soon. So much for her big plan to get out if she needed to. She should have known better. As if the mountains in December always gave you perfect driving conditions. So she’d just enjoy the homey atmosphere. Smell the food cooking, taste it when it was ready, feel the warmth of the fireplace. She sat cross-legged on the floor and handed ornaments to Cole. And tried not to think about the two men in the house with her. About Cole, laughing as he decided just the right spot and ornament for each branch—they’d be at this until after New Year’s at this rate—or Jeff, with his hair ruffled, looking suddenly younger and happier as he passed out mugs of mulled cider.
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She could like them much too much this way. Both of them. That would be such a bad idea. Cole glanced over at her and, once he had her attention, stroked the underside of his lower lip with his thumb very slowly. Then he glanced down. He was looking at her breasts, wasn’t he? She sucked in a breath. When his head came back up, he winked. Whoo boy. All that Christmas cheer was up in smoke. She was burning. She bent over the ornament box to hide her face. She had her own bedroom. As far as she knew, they all did. The ski cabin wasn’t as big as Jeff’s townhome, but that didn’t mean it was small. There was room for everyone, no matter where they ended up. Jeff’s room had a huge bed. She hadn’t wanted to think about sleeping arrangements, but she couldn’t help it. What had Cole meant about wanting them both? With Cole, it had to be kinky. Just how kinky? She’d first thought he’d just meant he wanted to be with her and Jeff, but maybe he’d meant…well, be with them. Together. All at once. She’d thought sharing Cole on a visitation schedule would be impossible back when she’d simplemindedly thought that was the plan. If it wasn’t…how did you do that? How would the guys want to do it? She had a good imagination, but this wouldn’t be fantasy, and they’d know a lot of ways. There’d be three bodies. Two cocks…one female. Whooooooooo boy. That was when she realized how much she hated the idea of passing Cole back and forth. But having him right in between Jeff and her was entirely different. In fact, that idea was too arousing for her own good when she was trying to act calm in the middle of someone else’s living room. Flashes of two naked men danced in her head. They’d look so different, but each so sexy. God. She couldn’t just sit here glassy-eyed. Act calm. Act calm. Sarah blindly reached out and almost knocked over her cider mug. The silence in the room made her realize the two men had stopped talking. They were looking at her. Damn it, they could all talk constantly most of the time, but now they had to stop
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and watch her self-combust. She still felt like she was burning up and could only imagine what she looked like. They weren’t idiots. They’d see exactly what she was thinking. So much for calm.
Jeff saw her catch the mug as if her fingers suddenly didn’t work. The cider sloshed onto her wrist. Was this when reality would finally hit about what was coming next? Damn Cole for getting us into this. Sarah was naive. He could see why Cole found that fascinating. Tempting. He was tempted too. Cole wasn’t going to get hurt. Sarah might have told herself she was here to take care of Cole, but she was wrong about his need for protection. When it came to sex, the boy didn’t have a naive bone in his body. He might not protect himself physically because he didn’t want to, but he’d always been a challenge mentally. It had taken weeks before Jeff had gotten him past just the sex. Cole might not have known what it meant to have a BDSM relationship that was more than sex, one that meant you surrendered everything, but he was learning. What Jeff could pull out of him now in any session—Cole didn’t trust easily, but he trusted Jeff. Which left the problem of Sarah. What did Cole want from her? It couldn’t be permanent. Not with someone who had Cole’s needs. Jeff was the one who understood them, fed them, made Cole want more. Sarah didn’t fit there. The more Jeff saw of Sarah, the more sure he was Cole couldn’t stay vanilla for the girl. Jeff had thought he could play along until Cole got tired of being gentle with someone who needed that gentleness. Who seemed to be attracted to them both without wanting to acknowledge it. Jeff was being forced to admit he could even enjoy the situation while it lasted. If she were different, he might actually start thinking of a future for all of them. That didn’t seem possible, which left Cole and him together eventually. What would happen to her when they stopped playing? Jeff caught himself. He used to not call Sarah by name because he wished she didn’t exist. Now it was because Sarah was the only her who mattered to him. As stupid as the want was, he was starting to want Sarah to stay.
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Fucking Cole. After telling himself he could leave women alone because no one would understand he needed men too, Cole had messed him up. Somehow, he’d dragged Jeff into caring about Sarah and how the three of them could work. How the hell had that happened? By poking at Jeff’s protective instincts, of course. Did Cole know him as well as he knew Cole? If so, Cole knew Jeff’s need to protect the other member of their group—a need as much a part of him as everything else that made him a dom—would kick into life when he saw her lost expression. She had no idea what she was getting into. And he was idiot enough to worry about that. Three was a crowd, and someone was going to get hurt. That someone was always the one most vulnerable to hurt. Was she afraid now? Realizing she was headed someplace she didn’t belong? Then she looked up at him, and he saw she wasn’t scared. Anything but. He couldn’t help responding to the desire in her face. What if Cole had done the impossible? What if he’d found the one woman who might just get it? Thick, hot lust burned away everything else he was feeling. She could belong to him. Them. But he needed her to belong to him right now. “Cole, go away.” His voice rasped. “Where?” Thank God Cole wasn’t asking why. Jeff wasn’t ready to answer that. Fortunately Cole was a sub and didn’t ask the obvious question first. “We’re snowed in.” “I don’t care. Sarah and I need to get some things worked out.” Instead of pretending innocence and obedience, Cole gave a knowing smile. Sarah’s eyes widened even more, but she didn’t say anything. She wasn’t into pretending either. Her obvious interest opened more possibilities. If she was truly ready and interested in more than vanilla, that might change things. He’d love to find out. “All right. But make sure they stay worked out.” Cole brushed his lips against Jeff’s cheek and then nipped at his chin. “I want to keep you both right here.” Cole leaned over to give Sarah a kiss before he strolled out of the room. Within seconds the television down in the den emitted a low roar.
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Sarah still wasn’t talking. “Well?” Jeff asked. “Have you figured everything out yet?” He almost smiled when Sarah shook her head. She had guts too. He hated to admit when he didn’t know something. “Maybe we should start by talking. Just talk. Although I wouldn’t mind more.” It had been a long time since he’d needed to persuade someone to have sex. Or to trust him. “I need to talk. I wouldn’t mind more either.” Her chin went up, as if she expected a punch first. “You know Cole wants you and me. How do you feel about that?” “I’m not sure. I’m not even sure how far he wants to take that keep you both thing. I don’t think I’m ready for a threesome.” She swallowed. “But there are alternatives.” “Really?” Jeff couldn’t remember when he’d ever been this absorbed in someone else’s thought processes outside academia. Definitely never while he was thinking about fucking. “Give me your top alternative.” Miss Innocence. “Cole likes a crowd. You know. He likes people to watch him getting fucked. You don’t.” Jeff sucked in a breath, hiding shock and a sudden desire to laugh. He hadn’t expected that. “True enough.” “Would…would you mind if I watched?” “That’s all you’d want?” “I’m trying not to presume here.” A tiny smile changed her face to mischievous. So she wasn’t quite as nervous as she acted. Good. After handling Cole, he knew how to deal with mock innocence. “So that’s not all you’d want, Sarah? Is it or isn’t it?” He let a little dom edge into his voice. Her face relaxed into a full smile before she said in a remarkably demure voice, “To start, it might be. I’d have to find out. I discovered I like listening to you together. I probably would like looking at you too. If you don’t mind.”
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If he didn’t mind? “I like your act. But I don’t buy it.” Jeff leaned forward and took a chance. He wanted to believe she wasn’t like his ex-wife. That she wouldn’t be afraid or angry when he moved on her the way he planned. “I think you want more already. You just don’t know how to ask.” He pulled her up on her feet and closer to him. He didn’t kiss her. Not this time. The bite into the fleshy part of her lower lip made her yelp and press closer to him. They squeezed together, as close as two people could with clothes on. He wished they didn’t have the damned clothes. Then he slipped his hand under the waistline of her pants. Found her soft, silky panties wet while on his way to something even wetter and softer. Sarah, Sarah. I like this. I missed it. Damn that Cole. How the hell did he know this could happen? She slid her palms up under his T-shirt and shifted her pelvis so it pushed against his hand. He forgot what he was thinking. He forgot to think at all. Was this what Cole meant by keeping it simple? To touch. To have someone touch back. To press his fingers against a warm pussy and feel a female body buck against him. To stretch those fingers inside her and feel her tremble. He braced one hand on her hip and shoved harder against her pussy with the other. She bucked again. “So pretty.” His voice didn’t sound like his own. “I want to touch you until you come right here.” She gave a little mewl and twitched under his hand. He unzipped her pants to twist his palm against her. Wet. Very wet. He liked that. “And someday soon I think you’ll want to do more than watch. I’m not sure if you’re a sub, baby, but we could see. I could put you over my knee and spank you until your ass is flaming. Or we both try that on Cole. Or I could tie you up and take you both together.” “Oh my God!” “Do you know which scene appeals to you more?” He inserted his finger, pulled it out. “Any of them. All of them. Please do that again. Please.” He did, and she clutched at his finger, not wanting him to take it out, her body begging for more.
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What would she do if he did the same thing to her ass? He swallowed, fighting the images in his head. Just thinking about it made him raw and hungry, wanting to have her moan while he had more than his fingers inside her. He could imagine the heat and the tightness, and that was almost enough to make him drive into her like a teenager. She was crying, just a little. “I…just…fucking…want you to come.” She was too new to this to be ordered into an orgasm. But he was damn close, and he wasn’t going without her. As he watched her legs scrabble helplessly, trying to hold her up, he could feel the pulsing of his own cock, angry and desperate for release. When was the last time he’d fought not to spill before his sub? When had he last been ready to come just from talking about what might happen? He caught his lip with his teeth, fighting the sudden surge of desire washing over him. He unzipped his pants, still fighting the need to push inside her without finesse and come. “Jeff!” She gulped his name as her face contorted. And damn, she unraveled in his hands. “Jeff,” she sobbed it, still shaking. He came, hard and uncontrolled, his semen spurting out all over that quivering little belly of hers. When the hell had that happened last? Not since… He wasn’t sure it had happened even when he was still learning how to be a dom. “Hell. I want to do that again,” he rasped. It had been too fast. He wanted more. “Knew you’d think so.” Cole’s voice cut through the haze. “Very, very sexy. I like.” “Fuck!” Jeff pushed Sarah away just far enough to get a look at his boy. His nosy, disobedient boy. “You were supposed to be somewhere else.” “Well, I’m back.” Cole was going to regret saying that. By the grin on his face, he knew it and didn’t care. “And I’m leaving.” Sarah tried to pull away, and without thinking, Jeff tightened his hold on her hip. “No.”
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“You said we had to work things out. But I don’t think this is really the thing we need to work out.” He could feel her wetness on the palm of his hand, but he could see the confusion and anger in her face. “The both of you are a lot of work.” Jeff knew that wasn’t going to smooth things over, but he couldn’t help saying it. “Well, you don’t have to do any work with me.” Sarah tried to step back. “You didn’t really think I was going to be left out of this, did you?” Cole stepped forward, neatly trapping Sarah between the two of them. “No, Jeff thought I was going to be left out. But his hormones got confused for a minute.” Sarah pushed backward now, still working to get away. “I don’t think so.” Jeff took his hand from her pussy and put it to his mouth. He licked. “Nope. I’m not confused at all. I was finger fucking a sexy woman. You. You’re very tasty, by the way.” Cole snorted. “I’d slug you both if I could.” Sarah’s voice was tight. “Why are you doing this to me?” “Because I want you both happy.” Cole kissed the back of her neck. “Because I want to keep you and keep fucking you. We might as well admit we’re interested,” Jeff said at almost the same time. “Interested doesn’t mean we should. Or that it will make me happy.” Sarah’s breath came a little faster, undercutting her words. Jeff tried not to smile. “Doesn’t mean we couldn’t, though.” Jeff kissed the side of her neck and felt her pulse beating rapidly. “Does it, pretty Sarah? I know you don’t want to really leave.” “Guys, the two of you are rubbing against me, and I can’t think!” Her voice trembled as much as her body. “I don’t know how to handle this. Like… I don’t know how on any level.” “Sweetheart, let us take care of it. We’ll handle it all for you.” Cole’s tongue traced the hollow of her throat. “Please? I won’t hurt you. No one will hurt you. I swear.” She licked her lips, and Jeff realized he should say something—but he couldn’t. What happened next was suddenly too important, and he was terrified he’d fuck it up.
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He shouldn’t care. He shouldn’t. Sarah looked at him, tears in her eyes, and he knew he did. Too much. “Jeff, don’t make a fool of me.” She barely got the words out. Jeff almost couldn’t talk past the tightness in his throat. “I’d never do that, Sarah. Ever. Can we try to make things work for you? The minute you say—” “Absolutely no. Those two words. We stop immediately,” Cole interjected. “God’s truth, Sarah.” As a safe word, that sucked. But telling Sarah she could pick a safe word right now would send her screaming. He’d already pushed her faster than either of them should have gone. Besides, they weren’t going anywhere that would mean she needed a safe word. He watched the fight go out of her. She swallowed hard and nodded. “All right.” Jeff looked over at his boy. Do you know what you’re doing? Because damned if I do. Cole’s glance over at him was steady, right before he gave that flash of a smile that showed nothing but satisfaction. Then he pulled down his pants and dropped them on the floor. Yeah. At least Cole thought he knew. If anyone did get hurt, it wouldn’t be deliberate. Maybe what happened next would be worth it. “Let’s start, then.” Jeff wasn’t sure if that was the bravest or stupidest sentence he’d ever uttered. But gently. They’d start very gently. He reached for Cole first. She’d said she wanted to watch, didn’t she? And Cole liked people to watch. For once, Jeff didn’t mind. Having Sarah there wasn’t going to break the tension between all of them. Cole’s fingers dug into his shoulders, and his skin was already slick with sweat. Jeff didn’t have to be careful with him at least. Not now. Not like this. “Stand still,” he growled without thinking. Cole stopped, put his hands behind his back, and stood, legs braced and apart, head down. Stiffness eased out of Jeff’s shoulders. “You can look at me, boy.” Cole tilted his head up. Yes. This felt right. They knew their roles here.
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Cole stood absolutely rigid—including that cock of his. Jeff tapped the boy’s balls, enjoying the sucked-in breath Cole took when he absorbed the light smack. Cole’s eyelids were already drooping, signaling he felt the rush immediately. Fuck yeah. This was the kind of play Jeff understood. This was the game he’d mastered long ago. Now they’d see if Sarah would play along.
“Oh my God.” Sarah’s choked whisper snapped Cole out of the needy trance Jeff had already put him in. Shit. They weren’t doing a scene this time—not exactly. They couldn’t. This wasn’t an audience. She might not know it yet, but Sarah was a participant. A new participant who needed attention. “Sir? I’m sorry.” Cole deliberately turned his gaze from Jeff to Sarah. He had never lost his focus on his master before, but… This was his Sarah. Their Sarah, if he and Jeff did this right. “Sarah? Are you all right?” “No. Yes. Um—” Sarah put her hand over her mouth and then uncovered it again. “It’s hot. You two are so hot.” “On your knees, boy.” Jeff’s hand was on his shoulder, and Cole didn’t resist. Jeff wasn’t going to punish him for reminding Jeff this was about Sarah, was he? He couldn’t do that. “Jeff!” Sarah protested. “Be quiet. Cole, face her while you kneel. Take those damn panties off her. No hands.” Cole could almost hear Sarah’s jaw snap shut, silencing the objections she’d been about to make. “Yes, Sir.” Cole fought a smile. He could do this. Damn, he wanted to do this. He’d been an idiot to worry. His master always knew what was needed. He pulled at the soaking scrap of panties with his teeth, then pushed it down her thighs to where Jeff had already left her pants. Finally he licked the cum that had mingled with her own juices.
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He could smell her and Jeff as he buried his mouth and nose against her pubic hair. A woman’s arousal smelled different, but it was arousal, and it was good. Good? Better than that. He’d think of the right word as soon as he— His brain fuzzed for a moment as she shifted against him. He pulled on the fabric with his teeth again, suddenly desperate for an even closer taste and sniff. Her legs were trembling, and he wanted to touch her, hold her thighs against him, but he wasn’t sure how far his master wanted to take the hands-off rule. Then he sensed her weight shifting. He didn’t look up from his task, but he knew Jeff was behind her. Cole dragged her underwear down to her knees and buried himself in her pussy before Jeff could change his mind and order him away. “Bend over, Sarah.” His master’s voice wasn’t as commanding as before, but Cole felt her obey immediately. She shifted, putting her hands on Cole’s shoulders, then down his back. Cole didn’t stop tasting, though, even with her change in position. Licking. Loving what he was doing. Dying from wanting more. He sucked on her swollen clit as his master’s cock touched her. Cole breathed hard through his nose, trying for control. “It’s been a while for me to have two…” For a moment, his master sounded lost. Then he thrust forward and stopped, long enough for Cole to use his tongue on both of them. Cock and pussy, both in his mouth. Cole whimpered at the same time Sarah did. He wouldn’t swear to it, but Cole was almost sure he heard his master moan just a little. “I don’t believe this.” Sarah’s voice was hoarse. “It’s…amazing. Oh God. More. Both of you.” “Hands stay off, boy,” Jeff growled. Cole knew that meant not just off Sarah, but off everyone, including his own swollen erection. Cole was already gripping his wrists so hard behind his back they hurt, but now he dug his nails in to keep from reaching out. His balls ached. God, he didn’t know what he wanted to grab more. It might not even be his cock. He had the two people he cared about most right in front of him, fucking, and he was desperate to fondle his master’s cock. Sarah’s cunt. Anything. He’d take anything. Instead, he pulled on Sarah’s clitoris with his teeth, and she exhaled a long moan. He flicked his tongue against his master’s cock as it slid out, and then as it slid home again.
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Cole shut his eyes, forcing himself to not watch, or he would lose control. He could feel the tension winding through him, making it difficult to think, to breathe, to do anything but spew the cum building up inside his balls. He said no. Mustn’t touch. Mustn’t come. Sarah gripped his back as if she would fall without his support, and he shifted on his knees. He wasn’t going to let them down. But he was desperate. God. God. He wasn’t able— She stiffened above him, and he heard his master grunt, hard. Thank you, Jesus. Cole knew what that meant. He’d heard that sound himself, made his master come, sweated underneath him like Sarah. Any minute now. She screamed, and Cole absorbed the weight of two bodies pressed against him. He endured. He could wait. He could do that…he could…do… “It’s all right.” That was Jeff. Panting and breathless, but Jeff again. “It’s all right, Cole, baby. Go ahead.” Jeff hadn’t come. Wasn’t that interesting? Cole wasn’t exactly sure what he had permission to do, but if he wasn’t expected to serve any longer, he’d please himself. Sarah had eased back onto the floor, still panting, elbows bracing her—not too well—against the rug. So sweaty. So sexy. She smiled at him, looking satisfied and…curious. Still curious enough to want more. He’d give her more. Cole was on top of her with that thought, pressing her back down on the floor. First, he kissed her pussy. If Jeff hadn’t used a rubber, Cole would have probably stayed with his mouth exploring her pussy longer, happy to feast on her cunt forever, willing to wait until Jeff came inside her so Cole could lick her clean. After his preview of what it would be like, the idea of tasting Jeff and Sarah together, of swallowing the cum Jeff should have flooded Sarah with, mingled with her juices, made Cole want to weep. Damn condoms. But if he didn’t keep playing with that sweet pussy, it meant he could be inside Sarah now. He ripped off his clothes, and then slid a condom on his reddened, harder-than-hell erection, shaking violently enough to almost delay what had to happen next. No more delays. Oh, hell no.
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He couldn’t wait anymore. Cole moved farther up her sweat-slick body and thrust home, deep into Sarah’s wet welcome, before he completely lost it. Her tight vaginal muscles milked him, and Jeff’s hand was on his ass, spreading him open. Fuck. Oh, fuck! Jeff’s tongue penetrated him from behind as Cole thrust into Sarah. Cole whined. Sarah’s legs gripped him up above his hips, and Jeff’s head was tight against his ass. “Go ahead and fuck me, will you?” Cole had just enough breath to say. Jeff rammed his cock in a half second later. Sarah braced her legs, probably against Jeff’s shoulders, and pushed at the same time. Cole’s body bucked under the twin sensations. All three of them at last. Everything he’d wanted for days, weeks…since forever. Since before he knew what he wanted. Fuck! Black spots and white lights danced before his eyes, and he clawed for air—for Sarah, for Jeff—before he exploded. Sarah cried out, desperately. Jeff screamed in a way Cole could never remember him doing. Everything shorted out for a long, long moment. Cole sucked in a breath, blew it out. Then he tried to connect his brain cells. But all he could think was how good the two bodies next to him felt. “Merry Christmas, baby,” Jeff said. “Love you.” The most important words—and best fuck—of Cole’s life, and he didn’t have breath enough to talk. “Mmmmph.” He passed out, one hand on Sarah’s breast, sandwiched between his two lovers.
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Chapter Seven It was Christmas. No one had mentioned gifts, which was just as well, since she hadn’t bought any before being shanghaied into the mountains. Besides, a Christmas present didn’t have to bring more presents, did she? She wasn’t going to mope today. It would be stupid. Fantastic smells were coming from the oven. The sun was shining, and there was at least a foot of new snow on the ground. “When will you be ready to ski?” Sarah asked. “But it’s Christmas.” Ha. Cole obviously still had no clue. “The snow has stopped, and there’s skiing. What else do you need for Christmas?” Jeff stared at Cole like he’d gone crazy. “Oh. All right. I guess I can stay here and eat brownies.” Cole crossed his arms. “What brownies?” Jeff sniffed at the air as if he could nose some out. “The ones Sarah is going to make before you two abandon me for the holiday.” Cole smiled guilelessly at her. “Don’t try the guilt.” Sarah was already thinking about ingredients. “And don’t eat them all while you work on your dissertation. You don’t want us around right now anyhow, spoiling your concentration.” Cole laughed. “I can never fool you.” “I saw that look in your eye. You’ve thought of something to add to that masterpiece of yours.” Sarah didn’t want to tell him it was a masterpiece already. No need for Cole to get even more egotistical. “Maybe. I need to do some research on…” Cole shook his head. “You still owe me brownies. You took a lot out of me in bed. I need those calories.”
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He batted his eyelashes at her. “Good Lord. All right. Don’t keep trying to work your wiles on me. I give in.” Sarah couldn’t believe everything was so normal. Her world had spun out of control last night, and now she was thinking about adding nuts to chocolate and mixing them in a bowl. Worse yet, she could get used to this crazy normal. Better not. No one had said anything like forever last night. She was a Christmas present. She needed to remember that. Or more like a temporary loan. No, she was not going to think that way today. It was much better to think about the amount of calories Cole was going to shove into his mouth. “I guess I can fix something for you while Jeff makes breakfast.” He was already there, starting the coffeemaker and rattling pans. Good thing he’d baked some cinnamon buns last night. Jeff wasn’t good for much of anything until coffee arrived. Of course, caffeine only added to Cole’s perpetual bounce. She didn’t want to know those little quirks about the two of them. She didn’t want to go right to the kitchen and know where the plates were. What the hell was wrong with her? A minute ago she’d been trying to think of anything but last night. She’d wanted to cling to the normal day-to-day events going on around her. Damn. There was no hope for her. Now she didn’t want the ordinary. It made everything seem too permanent. “Oh oh. Sarah’s thinking.” Cole whispered it in her ear, then put his arms around her from behind. “Don’t do it, baby. It’s hurting your head. I can tell.” “Asshole.” Sarah swiped at one of his arms. “Maybe. Hey, Jeff! Drink the damn coffee and come here when you’re able to hold a conversation. Looks like we need an intervention.” “What? Shit.” Jeff poured a cup and walked over. “What now?” “Sarah.” The two males looked at each other with that unspoken communication of the Man Network. She’d been left out of the circle again, even with Cole holding her. Of course she’d be out. It was obvious they loved each other. Jeff had even said the L word to Cole. They didn’t really need her.
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“I don’t have a problem.” Jeff tilted her chin up and studied her face as he yawned. “Is it that we’re not doing anything except ski for Christmas? You have something else you’d rather do?” Sarah had to smile. “No. You don’t have to make the ultimate sacrifice. I came here to ski.” “Did we freak you out with the sex last night?” He gulped down some coffee before she replied, as if he already knew the answer. “Nooo. It was… good…once I got over the shock.” “Good? Just good?” Cole yelped. “Shut up, Cole. I’m playing Twenty Questions with Sarah here.” Jeff scowled. “Is this a ‘where are we going next’ thing?” “No!” Sarah’s face turned hot. “I mean, you’ve been clear. I know where we’re going after this. Back to our own lives, right? Friends and all that, but Christmas is over.” “Damn, you’re good.” Cole whirled her around so they were face-to-face. “Sarah, it’s not going to work that way.” I think I could still be just friends with them. After a few months. Or a year. Or…sometime. “It could.” She knew she sounded too desperate. “Nope. Because you’re my present and I don’t like giving back my presents.” Cole kissed her neck. “I’ll let Jeff play with you too, though. Even once we get home.” “I don’t know what that means.” Sarah tried to wiggle free, only to be whirled back again to face Jeff. “It means you get the third bedroom at my house whenever you want. As long as you want. Up to you, not us. We want you around.” He gave her a half smile as he touched her cheek, very gently, very tentatively. She wasn’t getting an I love you from the Iron Man, but she had a feeling she was getting everything he was able to give. For now. “Really?” That was fair. She wasn’t ready to say I love you either. Not yet.
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“Of course, baby.” Cole cupped her breasts and bit her earlobe. “We’re not nearly done with each other. I’m not sure I ever will be.” “I… Well, all right, then.” Sarah knew that wasn’t exactly a declaration of undying commitment. But with these two, it was probably as good as she would get. “If you insist.” Jeff snorted into the coffee cup. “She’s always going to want the last word. Why the hell did you get us into this, boy?” “That’s easy. There was no way I could see you with another woman again unless she was Sarah. You need one. Sometimes. She’ll be good for you and me. Because she’s Sarah. I don’t want to be with any woman but her.” Cole brushed his knuckle over Sarah’s face. “Thanks for my present, Sir. It fits.” Was that a setup? Because they’d answered her questions so perfectly, without her needing to ask. They were probably smart enough to know just how to tag-team her into believing…and did it matter as long as this was the answer? “You’re welcome, boy.” Jeff answered Cole, but he looked at Sarah. “Are you ready for more?” She didn’t know. Taking just one of them on was difficult, but dealing with the two of them long-term? She wasn’t sure she could manage. Jeff looked at her, deadly serious while he waited. Cole winked at her. On the other hand, she sure as hell was willing to find out. “Depends. Brownies and then the mountain for Christmas? I can handle that. Afterward…well, just what are we planning for New Year’s Eve, guys?”
Loose Id Titles by Treva Harte Carry On Circle of Three Cole for Christmas Leftovers Never Never Land Silent Partner: I Heart That City The Deviants, Vols 1 – 3 The Wildling Why Me? Wicked
**** The ALPHA Series Walk Away Stay Home Beg Heal Hunted Down
**** The CHECKMATE Series King in Check King’s Gambit
**** The INSIDE OUT Series Maxxed Out Inside Daniel
**** The QUEEN’S RULES Series Every Good Boy Deserves Favor King of the Castle
**** “Twelve Nights of Christmas” Part of the anthology Nicely Naughty With MaryJanice Davidson and Lani Aames
Treva Harte Treva Harte lives near a city with many, many attorneys. Thanks to Loose Id and her writing, she is now able to be a recovering attorney and spends her time writing, editing, raising an adolescent, and dealing with a hyperactive husband (he says he's just very energetic.) She is also co-owner and Editor-in-Chief of the e-publishing company Loose Id. She and her husband both like writing in whatever time they have left, so they often fight over—sorry, since he is still a practicing attorney they NEGOTIATE—keyboard time. No wonder Treva’s particular brand of sensual romance is a bit offbeat and usually mixed with fantasy. Treva is multi-published with several e-publishers in print and e-book, a member of RWA, PAN, Passionate Ink, Rainbow Writers, and EPIC, and winner of the CAPA 2003 award in the “Erotic Fantasy Romance” category.