Complete Faith

By SUE BROWN NOVELS Morning Report Complete Faith Nothing Ever Happens

NOVELLAS The Night Porter Light of Day

Published by DREAMSPINNER PRESS http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com

Copyright

Published by Dreamspinner Press 382 NE 191st Street #88329 Miami, FL 33179-3899, USA http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Complete Faith Copyright © 2012 by Sue Brown Cover Art by Reese Dante http://www.reesedante.com All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 382 NE 191st Street #88329, Miami, FL 33179-3899, USA http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ ISBN: 978-1-61372-475-0 Printed in the United States of America First Edition April 2012 eBook edition available eBook ISBN: 978-1-61372-476-7

Dedication

To Rita for giving me the title, Complete Faith, and to two gorgeous ladies, Sharon and Sharita, two special friends who have cheered me on through the long process of writing Complete Faith. Thank you for keeping me going. And to Tom, who threatened me when I wanted to give up. My love to you all.

Complete Faith

1 Chapter One

SHOVEL. Flick. Shovel. Flick. Tommy flung another shovelful of muck into the wheelbarrow with a vicious twist and started again. The ranch hand had been mucking out the stable for an hour, but it was debatable whether he was actually achieving very much. Pain in his bottom lip made him conscious of the way he was gnawing on it. It was raw from constant chewing, and the coppery tang in his mouth suggested he had actually drawn blood this time. His next shovel of muck went astray, splattering his boss as he came into the stall. Tommy looked up at the grunt to see Luke standing in the doorway, straw and muck covering his flannel shirt and jeans, a few stray bits caught in the light stubble on his jaw. “Heck, boss, I’m so sorry,” Tommy said, watching as Luke brushed himself down. “I think you need to work on your aim,” Luke griped, picking off what definitely didn’t look like straw with a disgusted look. Before Tommy could respond, Luke’s partner and foreman of the Lost Cow Ranch, Simon, appeared in the doorway, his large body blocking out the light. “Luke, I’m going now. See ya later.” He stopped as he caught sight of his partner covered in horse shit. “You been rolling in the hay without me?” Guiltily, Tommy said, “It was my fault. I didn’t know the boss was standing there.” “Obviously,” Luke said wryly. “Are you nearly done? I was coming to see if you wanted a lift over to Noah’s. Momma’s got a meeting over at the church, and she was offering a ride.”

2

Sue Brown

Tommy felt his face heat at the knowing looks of his bosses. “No thanks,” he said shortly and went back to shoveling shit, being more careful this time where it landed. There was a long silence, and Tommy could imagine the unspoken conversation going on above his head. “Is everything all right, Tommy?” Simon asked him, his tone concerned. “Fine,” he muttered, not looking up. “I just want to finish my chores.” He knew that he was the color of a ripe tomato all over by now. Cursing his red hair and the fact he flushed so easily, Tommy kept his eyes firmly trained on the dirt floor. He only wished it were that simple. Noah was… Noah was amazing. The pastor of St. Mark’s was a walking wet dream as far as Tommy was concerned: smooth chocolate skin that fascinated him, and huge dark eyes that seemed to know everything there was to know about him. Hell, the only other man he’d ever been attracted to was Luke, and that was one fantasy that was never going to happen. He’d known Luke all his life; the older man had been the subject of all his jerk-off fantasies for years until the advent of Noah, but Luke had never once noticed his crush. Aching with a fierce jealousy, Tommy gripped the handle of the shovel so hard he was white-knuckled. “Tommy?” A large hand on his shoulder made him jump. “You know you can talk to us if there’s a problem?” He looked up at Simon, whose expression matched his gentle tone. “I know that,” he muttered. “I’ve just got work to do.” “Okay, Tommy. Just remember we’re here if you want us.” Simon squeezed his shoulder and nodded at Luke, who picked off some more muck with a grimace. “All right, then. I’d better change before Momma complains about the smell.” “Sorry, boss,” Tommy apologized again. Luke waved his apology away. “No worries. I got in the way of your work. C’mon, Si, I’ve got to get Momma to St. Mark’s before I visit Pops.” Luke’s father was in the hospital following a heart attack, but he was finally off the critical list, and for the first time in weeks, there

Complete Faith

3

wasn’t a member of his family sitting beside his bed at all times. After a car accident, Momma Murray was finding it difficult to drive despite intensive physical therapy, and one of the boys from the Lost Cow acted as her chauffeur when possible. Tommy watched as Simon dropped a kiss on Luke’s lips, missing the dirt on his face. They grinned at him and walked away, shoulders and hips brushing together. It was hard to hate Simon for having what Tommy wanted. Luke was completely smitten where Simon was concerned. God help anyone who tried to come between them. Sighing, Tommy went back to mucking out the stalls, trying not to think about Luke and Noah, so very different, both gorgeous and both totally unavailable. Church was tricky. His parents insisted that he attend church every Sunday morning unless there was a crisis on the Lost Cow. To his amazement, his God-fearing mother had wordlessly switched to St. Mark’s church, which meant seeing Noah every Sunday, watching the young pastor as he talked about love and forgiveness, about inclusivity and understanding. The pastor was a sodomite and totally open about his sexuality. Tommy knew that half the congregation were folk who weren’t welcome elsewhere: gays, young unmarried mothers, and now the Lost Cow ranch, who swelled the numbers every Sunday, pleased to have somewhere to worship. His parents weren’t the most tolerant of people, and Tommy couldn’t work out why on earth they had switched to Noah’s church instead of staying with that bigot, Pastor Jackson. Tommy didn’t swear—being brought up with a wooden spoon over his knuckles for every curse word, he had soon learned to curb his language—but whenever he thought about the trouble the Jacksons had caused Luke and Simon, he would have earned himself swollen knuckles for the blue storm he kicked up. So why was he avoiding Noah? Chewing again on his abused bottom lip, Tommy refilled Lulu’s stall with fresh hay and water. Inexperienced he might be, but Tommy knew that Noah was attracted to him. Every time the pastor saw Tommy’s face in the congregation, his eyes lit up, and the warmth in them as they rested on Tommy just got a little more intense. For Tommy’s part, he felt his cheeks flush every time he caught sight of Noah staring at him. But Noah was gay and Tommy was straight, at least as far as his parents and the rest of the world were concerned. There was only one person Tommy had been

4

Sue Brown

completely honest to about the feelings he had for other men. Scared and frustrated at having to hide his sexuality, and needing to talk to someone, he had confided in Luke when he’d first started at the ranch. His boss had kept his secret for five years, only admitting that he had told Simon after Tommy had said he was leaving. Tommy could trust both men, though. They were discreet, and none of the other hands suspected he was anything other than shy. Tommy wanted to move across the state, maybe find somewhere he could meet other men, away from his parents’ disapproving attitudes. Yet now they were willingly going to a church populated by homosexuals and other fallen, and he was the object of the attention of the most gorgeous man that walked the earth. The world had tilted on its axis, and Tommy was sliding off the edge. He started on James’s stall, aware that in his interminable inner monologue, Tommy was avoiding the question. Why was he avoiding Noah? Simple. He was scared shitless. And a virgin. Twenty-three years old and never even been kissed. He’d hoped to go to college away from home and sow his oats there, but his parents had made it clear there wasn’t any money for college and they expected him to start working on a ranch as soon as he left high school. Tommy wasn’t an outstanding scholar or a jock, there were no scholarships for the likes of him, and he had no choice but to accede to his parents’ wishes. They hadn’t been pleased when he’d started at the Lost Cow, but as longtime friends of Greg and Pamela they were careful not to voice their protests in front of Luke’s momma. There was a noise outside the stable, and he paused, not wanting to coat another person in shit. Tommy looked up to see Luke back again, frown lines between his eyes. “Is something the matter, boss?” he asked. “I’ve got to go down to the back pasture. Chuck wants me to look at some plants he’s found. Can you take Momma to the church? Jack can cover you here.” He was going to see Noah! Cursing himself for the way his heart leaped in his chest, Tommy muttered, “Sure. Give me ten minutes to shower and change. Tell Momma I’ll be over in half an hour.” “Will do,” Luke agreed. “And Tommy….”

Complete Faith

5

Tommy looked up to see a mischievous grin playing across Luke’s face. “Just relax, okay? He likes you. You like him. Don’t fret about it.” Knowing his face was beet red, Tommy wished he could jump in the hay and hide, away from those all too knowing eyes. Luke was never going to let him live this down. “It’s not that simple.” Luke’s green eyes turned sympathetic. “It really is, Tommy. Noah isn’t going to hurt you. He isn’t that kind of guy.” “But my parents…,” Tommy began, still clutching the shovel in front of him. How many times had he defended his place in the closet with those three words? “I’m not saying it won’t be hard, but your parents can’t live your life for you. They moved to the church knowing Noah is gay. See how they cope with you making a friend first.” Luke smiled at him. “Now, git, or Momma will be chewing my hide. You know what she’s like when there’s a cards afternoon.” Startled, Tommy almost dropped the shovel. “Your momma’s playing cards? I thought she was meeting with the ladies.” “She is. Except the ladies have an interesting way of studying the Bible. But don’t you tell her I told you,” Luke warned. There were footsteps outside, and Jack hove into view, a smile on his face. “Ready to get going, Tommy?” “Sure. I’ve only finished Lulu. I kept being interrupted.” He shot a look at Luke, who laughed and clapped him on the back. “Say hello to the pastor. Liz and I’ll be there on Sunday. She’s got the day off.” Jack and his wife lived off the ranch and got to church as much as her shifts at the local hospital allowed. Tommy couldn’t help the flush that spread across his cheeks at the thought of talking to Noah. “I’ll tell him,” he mumbled as he brushed past the two men. “I’ll call Momma. Don’t take too long making yourself look pretty,” Luke called after him. Stumbling over his feet, Tommy nearly turned around, horrified at Luke’s obvious implication, but then he heard Jack say, “You sure you want to send him? He’s fair game for all those women.”

6

Sue Brown

“Why do you think I don’t want to go?” Luke retorted, and they both laughed. Flipping them both off, Tommy made his way into the bunkhouse. It was empty, and after collecting fresh jeans and a shirt, he made his way to the bathroom. Whatever happened, he couldn’t go stinking of horse shit. Luke’s momma wouldn’t approve. St. Mark’s was about an hour away from the ranch, and Pamela spent most of the ride holding her injured arm against her body, thin lines of pain etched around her mouth. She didn’t seem to want to chat. Too busy worrying about her husband, Tommy imagined. The parking lot was two-thirds full as they arrived. As he put the truck in park, Tommy looked at Pamela. “Do you want me to pick you up later, Momma?” She frowned at him. “Luke said you’d be staying. I think Noah is looking forward to having some male company. He uses it as an excuse to pretend that he doesn’t know the poker game is going on.” Tommy’s jaw dropped. The ladies of the church were playing poker? “Please tell me my mother isn’t there.” Pamela snorted as she reached for the door handle. “She’s one of the best we’ve got. That woman is a card shark. The others say we’ve raised more money since she arrived than in the previous six months.” Tommy felt a little dizzy. “But she’s only been going three weeks.” “Yes,” said Pamela grimly. “As I said, card shark.” She took a look at his face. “Don’t look so shocked, son. It’s just like quilting but with cards.” “But you’re gambling in the Lord’s house,” he said faintly. “With Monopoly money,” she assured him. “Then we agree to match it in donations to repair the church roof. It’s all controlled very tightly. The menfolk don’t like it if you spend too much beer money.” Shaking his head in disbelief, Tommy walked around the truck to help Pamela out and waited while she got her balance. She beamed at him, the lines in her face easing as they started walking to the side door of the church. “It’s much more fun than sticking a needle in some tatty old fabric. I wish I’d found this church years ago.”

Complete Faith

7

“No wonder my mom likes coming here so much,” he mused, more to himself than Pamela. “She always hated the sewing and baking sessions.” “Parents always surprise their kids,” Pamela said sagely. “Now, let me find the ladies, and you can keep the pastor company.” Tommy shot a look at Pamela, but she was walking on ahead. He wasn’t fooled, though. That woman never missed a thing. Pushing open the door for Pamela, he followed her as she walked into a room with about half a dozen women already around a table, his mother being one of them. Tommy grinned at the sight of the Monopoly money. Evelyn caught sight of her son and ducked her head, flushing deeply. His lips twitched. It was the first time in living memory he could remember seeing his mother discomfited. Caught ready to gamble in church. Evelyn was never going to live this down. “Tommy?” A hand landed on his shoulder, startling him. Tommy was acutely aware of Noah’s spicy cologne and his body, warm against Tommy’s back. He froze like a startled rabbit, caught between the object of his fantasies and his mother. The only small bit of comfort was that his mother looked even more uncomfortable with the pastor’s eyes upon her. Pamela turned to look at the pastor over Tommy’s shoulder. “Morning, Noah,” she said brightly. “We’re just about to start quilting, so if you want to escape now….” The pastor sighed, his breath tickling Tommy’s ear. “I’m not sure what’s worse. The fact you’re gambling or the fact you’re outright lying to my face, Momma.” “Why, Pastor Taylor, how could you say such a thing?” she gasped in mock indignation. “Now shoo. Take this nice young man and go and talk man things while the good ladies and I talk… about things you don’t need to hear.” “Come on, Tommy.” Noah’s hand slipped to Tommy’s waist to guide him away. “Let’s run before they corrupt us even more.” “Hush now.” Pamela grinned and virtually pushed them both out of the room. “See you later. You boys play nice.”

8

Sue Brown

Now that was going too far in front of his mom. Tommy turned to glare at Pamela, but she shut the door in his face. When he turned back, Noah was grinning at him. “I wasn’t expecting to see you today,” he said, beckoning Tommy further down the hallway, leading him into a small kitchen. “Do you want a Coke or a tea?” “Uh… Coke would be great.” Tommy stumbled over his words. Jesus! He mentally apologized upstairs for taking the Lord’s name. He really had to get his head together around this man. Noah opened the fridge door and surveyed the contents. “I can offer Coke or Dr Pepper,” he advised. “Coke, please.” Tommy held out his hand for the can, suppressing a shiver as their fingertips brushed lightly, and took a seat at the kitchen table. It was a tiny whitewashed room, only just accommodating the table and chairs. Cups and saucers were laid out on a tray, presumably ready for the ladies when they had finished “quilting.” It was much easier to think of it like that. The thought of his mother gambling was just too much. “How is Greg?” Noah asked. “I’ve not been in to see him in a few days. He was looking good the last time I saw him.” “The Boss is doing great.” Tommy smiled as he thought of Luke’s dad the last time he’d seen him. It had been touch and go for a long time, but against the odds, Greg Murray was starting to pull through, although he still wasn’t stable enough to have the triple bypass. “And Luke and Simon? How are they?” Noah inquired. Tommy frowned a little. Noah knew how Luke and Simon were, having seen them a couple of days ago. “They’re fine, and Chuck is as well,” he said shortly. “Would you like to ask about the horses?” Noah gave him a startled look, and then he laughed ruefully. “He was probably next on my list,” he admitted, looking embarrassed. “I never thought you’d have problems finding something to talk about,” Tommy said with a smirk.

Complete Faith

9

“I don’t think we’ve ever had a conversation alone before,” Noah pointed out, his fingers unconsciously smoothing away the beads of condensation on the soda can. Unable to drag his eyes away from Noah’s long fingers caressing the can, Tommy licked his lips. “Don’t do that!” Tommy looked up. “Huh?” he said, confused. Noah’s dark eyes were intent on his mouth. “Don’t lick your lips like that. It’s distracting.” “I didn’t… I…. ” Tommy stopped, unable to complete the sentence, nervously licking his lips again. Noah made a low noise in the back of his throat. “Tommy Bradley, you are a tease.” “I don’t mean to be,” Tommy said honestly, bewildered by Noah’s reaction. “I know you don’t, and that’s what makes it so enticing.” Tommy was shocked when Noah leaned over and covered his hand with his own. He tried to pull back. What if his mom saw them holding hands; what if anyone saw them? Noah refused to let him go. “Do you like me?” the pastor asked bluntly. “I… uh… you’re… my pastor,” Tommy said faintly. That provoked an eye roll. “Look,” Noah began, “I’m not going to lie to you. I’m attracted to you, Tommy. I know you’re attracted to me.” Tommy looked at the kitchen door, tugging to retrieve his hand. What if someone walked in? Noah gave him an understanding look and let go of his hand. “I know you’re not out,” he said more quietly. “Luke knows, doesn’t he?” “And Simon now.” Tommy swallowed hard. “That’s all. How did you know I was…?” He paused, not even wanting to say the word here. He was blinded by the leer Noah gave him. “My gaydar is never wrong.” Noah’s confidence was annoying. Tommy was tempted to tell him he was straight just to prick that bubble of smugness.

10

Sue Brown

“My parents…,” Tommy muttered, resisting the urge to poke his tongue out. “Don’t know.” Noah nodded. “I know.” “They think I’m straight. I want to move away. Find somewhere I can….” He trailed off. “Be yourself?” Noah suggested, his eyes gentle on Tommy’s face. “They’d throw me out if they found out.” “Have you ever been in a relationship with a man, Tommy?” Tommy shook his head. “I’ve never even kissed a man, kissed anyone, for that matter.” Noah looked surprised. “Not one?” “No opportunity. I’m not out anywhere, and I don’t know any gay men except Luke and Simon, and it’s not like—well, they’re completely exclusive.” “Yes, they are. I’ve never met a couple so tight. You know a few more gay men than that now you come to my church.” “So do my parents.” Tommy shrugged. “I never thought I’d see that day. Why do they come here?” Shaking his head, Noah said, “You know I can’t tell you that.” His eyes softened. “I can tell you that maybe you ought to try talking to them.” Tommy stared at him incredulously. “Have you tried talking to my mom? She cheered when Pastor Tony said that all queers burn in hell.” “Cheered?” At Noah’s raised eyebrow, Tommy squirmed. “She agreed, anyhow.” “Just talk to them, Tommy. They feel real bad for what’s happened to Greg and Pamela.” “But not what happened to Luke and Simon,” Tommy pointed out. Noah huffed out a breath. “I think people need time. You can’t expect them to change overnight.”

Complete Faith

11

“I don’t expect anything from people around here. Not anymore.” Tommy couldn’t stop the bitterness in his voice. As far as he was concerned, he couldn’t wait to see the back of his childhood home. Tommy had had nothing but good times at Lost Cow, apart from the frustration of his feelings for Luke, but as for the people in the town, he wouldn’t give them the time of day. “It’s been a difficult time,” Noah agreed. Tommy had to bite back the angry words. Noah had no real idea what he was talking about. And then Tommy looked at Noah, really looked at him, and saw the understanding in his eyes. Noah was an out and proud black homosexual living in Texas. “Was it bad?” he asked awkwardly. “Pretty awful,” Noah agreed easily, not put out by the question. Tommy opened and closed his mouth, not really sure what to say. “Maybe I’ll tell you one day,” Noah said, patting Tommy’s hand. “Would you like another drink? I have some danish as well.”

12

Sue Brown Chapter Two

TOMMY was on his own when he returned to the ranch, dropping Pamela off home first before completing the last part of the journey. Getting out of the truck, he slammed the door shut to relieve some frustration, not realizing anyone was around until he heard a quiet “Are you all right, Tommy?” He looked up to see Luke eating a sandwich on the stoop, his dark-blond eyebrows knitted together and concern in his green eyes. “I’m fine,” Tommy muttered. “Just tired, I guess.” “Okay,” Luke said, although he didn’t look convinced. “Is Momma at home?” “She is. Her arm was hurting bad, although she wouldn’t admit it.” Luke finished his sandwich and stood up, brushing dust off his behind. Tommy looked away, not wanting to be caught staring at Luke’s ass. “I’ll drive over later. Maybe I’ll see if I can get her in to see the doc tomorrow,” Luke said, referring to Dr. Alvarez, the ranch doctor and friend of Luke’s parents. “She’s not going to see Pops tonight.” “Will you need me anymore, boss?” Tommy asked, feeling crowded. “No, you take a few hours off. See Chuck about what you need to do tomorrow. Simon and I are out this evening after we’ve been to the hospital.” Tommy raised an eyebrow. Since the vandalism had started, Luke and Simon had rarely left the ranch except to go to the hospital, and

Complete Faith

13

despite no trouble occurring since Greg’s heart attack, their vigilance hadn’t decreased. He was amused to see color stain Luke’s cheeks. “Simon and I are going to a bar. I promised him we’d make more of an effort to get out.” Nodding, Tommy asked, “Where are you going?” Luke grinned, and despite himself, Tommy’s heart gave a flip. “Some place Noah knows where we won’t get our heads kicked in if my man gives me a kiss.” “The Pacific,” Tommy said flatly. “Yeah. Si pointed out we’re the worst gay guys ever. We don’t know any other gay men apart from the ones at the church, so I’m taking him out this evening.” Tommy suppressed a sigh. They were so damn in love it made him want to cry. It wasn’t right. They’d been together for over a decade, and in Luke’s eyes, Simon was the only man that existed. It made Tommy ache on so many levels, not least of which was being envious of them for having the strength to acknowledge to the world that they were gay. He looked up to see his boss giving him a shrewd look. “Do you want to come with us?” Luke asked. “You won’t know anyone there.” It was tempting, the thought of not having to hide, but then he watched as Simon came out of the house behind Luke to pull him against his larger body, and Tommy knew that he couldn’t interrupt their date. They got precious little time together as it was. Shaking his head, Tommy said, “Maybe next time. I need to get over seeing my mother playing poker.” Both men grinned, but Luke still asked, “You sure?” “Sure. Have fun.” Tommy needed some time alone with his thoughts. He went into the bunkhouse and found it empty, the rest of the men not back from the evening chores. Even now they were taking the time to ride the fence line, looking for damage. Relieved, Tommy snagged a bottle of beer and headed for his bedroom. After taking a minute to kick off his boots, Tommy settled back on his bed and exhaled slowly. He needed to sort out the mess of his thoughts. His

14

Sue Brown

feelings for Noah were obvious, and it was clear they were returned. He still had feelings for Luke despite knowing it was wrong. Then there were his mom and dad. Their sudden mellowing out where gays were concerned was confusing. It was easier to dislike their bigotry than it was to admit they might not be as homophobic as he thought. Tommy could pretend he was straight to his faggot-hating parents, but did he still have the same excuse now? Popping the top off his beer, Tommy took a long swallow. It wasn’t Noah or even Luke that was the problem. It was him. Unless he could come out to his parents and admit he was gay, it didn’t matter who he lusted after. He wasn’t going to be able to pursue it unless he grew a set and talked to his parents. It was ironic that a few weeks ago he’d been prepared to move across the state to have a chance of living like a gay man. Now that was the last thing he wanted to do. Relaxing against the pillows, Tommy thought about being open. No one on the Lost Cow would care. They might be surprised, but they wouldn’t give him any hassle. He’d be fine at St. Mark’s, obviously, and there was a support group headed by Noah. The people in town would be a different matter. Tommy shivered as he thought of what Luke and Simon had been through. Some of the folks he’d grown up with wouldn’t take kindly to him coming out. Then again, he was twenty-three, had never had a relationship and never even been kissed. Was he going to let the people in town dictate the fact he’d be on his own for the rest of his life? He wanted a relationship. Hell, just a date would be good, but really he wanted a relationship like Luke and Simon’s. Tommy was under no illusions about himself. He wasn’t a looker like Luke or built like Simon. He had no real idea why Noah was even interested in him. The thought of Noah made him shift on the bed, aware of the sudden pressure in his jeans. He pressed down lightly on his half-hard dick, gasping at the sensation and wanting more. Leaning over to place his beer on the floor, Tommy undid his zipper, sliding his hand under his boxers to fist his cock. Not for the first time, he wondered what it would be like to have Noah touching him, his cock enveloped in a larger, smooth hand, not work-roughened like Tommy’s hand. He arched up into his fist, gasping again as he swiped over the head of his dick. Needing more, Tommy fumbled around to find the lube in the drawer of his nightstand. He sighed in pleasure as he smoothed the lube

Complete Faith

15

up his shaft, drawing out the pleasure. Tommy closed his eyes, imagining Noah leaning over him, his dark eyes staring intently into Tommy’s as he slowly jacked Tommy’s cock. Tommy’s other hand slid under his balls, already drawn up tight, his finger moving to rim his hole. Small grunts escaped him as he jerked himself off harder, fingers squeezing hard just where he liked it, releasing to press into the slit, spreading the pre-come already there. His incipient orgasm coiled at the base of his spine, the need for release insistent. Spreading his legs wider, Tommy pressed harder against the fluttering muscle of his hole, just needing that extra sensation to come. In his imagination it was Noah’s long, thin finger slipping inside and Noah’s clever mouth covering his. Tommy bit back a yell as he came, thick ropes of come pulsing out between his fingers, a strand or two covering his belly and shirt. Collapsing back against the sheets, Tommy took a few minutes to recover his breath, covered in a sheen of sweat and come. He got some tissues to clean himself up, grimacing at the mess on his shirt. He’d need to change. If he was lucky, he could fit in a shower before anybody else needed the bathroom. He stripped off his shirt, throwing it in the laundry basket before heading for the bathroom. He was in luck. It was a constant source of complaint in the house that if Pete got in there first there’d be no hot water left for anyone else. No one seemed to take showers quite like Pete did. Fifteen minutes later, Tommy was looking in the fridge deciding what to cook for dinner. It was his turn to cook for the three hands. Chuck and Pete came in together, grunting at Tommy as they passed through the kitchen on the way to their bedrooms. As he had the fridge door open, he offered them a juice or beer. They both accepted a bottle of apple juice. Seconds later Tommy heard their bedroom doors close, and he started to get the evening meal ready. It was as they were eating the meal that the madness seized him. It had to be madness. There was no other word for what he said next. Chuck was in the middle of describing how Simon had been chewing out Sammy for leaving tools out in the rain when Tommy suddenly blurted out, “I’m gay.” Interrupted midsentence, Chuck looked at him. “I know, son,” he said and carried on with his tale.

16

Sue Brown

Tommy waited for more. When nothing else came, he looked at the other hand. Pete appeared to be giving Chuck his full attention, but at Tommy’s gaze, he looked over and winked at Tommy. That was it? They already knew? Tommy stared down at his plate, the half-eaten meat and potatoes not providing him with any useful answers. It seemed anticlimactic somehow. It wasn’t that Tommy expected any trouble, but he’d expected surprise at least. Something more than “I know” and a wink. “That was good.” Chuck belched in satisfaction and pushed his chair back. “Is there any cheesecake left?” Tommy looked up. “Uh, yeah. There’s half the blueberry and a new strawberry that Momma gave me.” Chuck’s eyes brightened. Luke’s mom’s cheesecakes were the highlight of their dinner. He got up to go to the fridge, and Pete looked over at Tommy. “It’s not a problem, Tommy,” he said quietly. “Do you all know?” Tommy asked just as quietly. Pete shrugged. “Don’t know ’bout Jack and Sammy but can’t see as they’d have a problem, either.” A plate of cheesecake in each hand, Chuck made his way back to the table. Pete leaned over to the dresser to get some plates. “Have you told your mom and dad?” Chuck asked as he sat down. Tommy shook his head. He waited until they each had a piece of the dessert in front of him to say, “I wasn’t planning on telling you yet.” “Do Luke and Simon know?” “Yeah. I told Luke when I joined. He told Simon a few weeks ago.” Chuck looked surprised. “He kept it a secret from Simon?” “I asked him to,” Tommy said. “I had no idea the rest of you knew about me.” “It’s not the sort of thing you bring up over dinner,” Chuck said. As Tommy choked on a mouthful of strawberry cheesecake, Pete burst out laughing. Chuck looked confused for a minute, and then he grinned. “Well, darn it, maybe it is.”

Complete Faith

17

Tommy managed to stop choking to join in the laughter, aware his mirth was bordering on hysteria. He was calmed by Pete getting to his feet and squeezing his shoulder. “I need some stronger stuff after all this touchy-feely shit.” Confused, Tommy watched Pete root around in the dresser, giving a triumphant “Aha!” as he came up with a bottle of whisky and three glasses. Tommy wasn’t used to the hard stuff and started to say no, but Pete stuck a glass in his hand and told him to get the liquor inside him. It knocked his breath away, but as the warmth started to spread through his body, Tommy felt the urge to lose control ebb away. Glasses in hand, the three men retired to the living room to sit down and watch TV, squabbling over the remote as usual. Nothing more was said on the matter, but as Tommy got up rather unsteadily to go to bed, Pete looked over. “Gonna tell your parents soon?” he asked, his voice rough and slurred from the whisky. Tommy bit his bottom lip. “Not sure,” he admitted. “Think you should, son. There’s a good man waiting for you now.” “What?” Tommy stared at Pete wide-eyed. Pete rolled his eyes. “Chuck, this boy must be blind, deaf, and dumb not to see the way Noah looks at him,” he said to the other hand. Panic stirring in his belly, Tommy said, “I know that he wants… likes me.” He stumbled over his words. “But if my parents see….” “’Bout time you told them, then,” Pete said and waved Tommy away. “Think about it, at least.” Chuck nodded his agreement. Tommy mumbled a “Night” and made his way to his bedroom, feeling slightly sick. It was one thing telling the people he knew weren’t homophobic; it was another telling his parents.

18

Sue Brown Chapter Three

THANKSGIVING passed unnoticed by the occupants of the Lost Cow ranch. Greg had been operated on two days before. The triple-bypass surgery was a success, but he was back in the cardiac intensive care unit. Luke and Pamela were staying at the hospital, with Simon visiting every day. Without the bosses helping, the amount of work increased to all levels of crazy. Tommy put the issue of coming out to his parents on the back burner until he had more time to think. He didn’t see Noah for two weeks, unable to get to St. Mark’s because of the lower pastures flooding at the ranch. His mom told him that Noah had been to the hospital several times to visit Greg. The way Evelyn gushed about the pastor was the same way she used to gush about young girls in the congregation, suggesting that Tommy invite them ‘round for tea after church. It was as unnerving now as it had been then. Luke returned home a week after Thanksgiving to find the hands exhausted and snapping at each other. Despite looking like death, he gave them the rest of the day off, insisting that taking care of the chores would be a rest for him and would give him a chance to spend some quality alone time with his man. They all put up a token protest, but Simon just gave them the look, and they staggered away. Jack and Sammy drove home while Chuck, Pete, and Tommy fell into their beds. Tommy was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, sleeping through lunch and finally waking up to the sounds of clattering in the kitchen. His stomach growled as he processed the sounds of someone making dinner. He could hear men talking in hushed tones. One of them was definitely Chuck, but he couldn’t make out the other voice.

Complete Faith

19

The need for the bathroom and some food was outweighing the desire to stay in bed until morning. He was just wearing boxers as he only needed to get to the bathroom and back. It was just his luck that Chuck opened the door from the kitchen just as Tommy walked past, scratching his chest. It was then he discovered that Chuck had been talking to Noah. To say Noah’s eyes lit up at the sight of a nearly naked Tommy was like saying Texas was hot in the summer or that the sky was blue. “Oh good, you’re awake,” Chuck said. “Noah’s here,” he added unnecessarily. “Yes, I am,” Noah agreed, a definite smirk on his face. Tommy had to get to the bathroom before the flush he could feel building in his face worked its way down his entire body. “I gotta… go… uh… bathroom.” He fled before he could make himself look even more of an idiot. “Dinner’s on the table,” Chuck said as Tommy closed the bathroom door. When he returned to the kitchen, more appropriately dressed in sweats and a T-shirt, Noah was sitting at the kitchen table, a bottle of beer in front of him. He looked up at Tommy’s entrance, and Tommy had to will himself not to flush again as he saw Noah openly checking him out. The outside door opened, and Simon, Luke, and Pete walked in, bringing with them the chill night air. They kicked off their boots and went to the sink to wash their hands. Chuck put a basket of bread on the table. “Sit down, then, son,” he said to Tommy. “We’ve got a full house tonight. You’ll have to squeeze up cozy with Noah.” Tommy glared at him but inevitably ended up next to Noah, their thighs almost brushing as the six men maneuvered themselves around the small table. Placing a large Crock-Pot of stew on the table, Chuck threw his oven mitts on the counter and handed the ladle to Luke. “You’re the boss. You can be mom.” Tommy joined in the laughter at Luke’s mock-outraged expression.

20

Sue Brown

“See, they know who’s the wife,” Simon crowed, ducking as Luke threatened him with the ladle. Pete sighed. “Boys, is there any chance of us getting the food before it gets cold?” Luke huffed, but he obediently started dishing out the stew. Normally the men just dived in, but they all hesitated, looking at Noah. He smiled and held out his hand in turn to the men on either side of him. They all looked uncomfortable but joined hands, Noah’s cool in Tommy’s larger hand. Noah ducked his head. “Lord, we thank you for the company around us, the good food in front of us, and for Luke finally realizing his place in life. Amen.” Luke’s growl was drowned out by the mocking laughter. “I’m not inviting you here again if you’re just going to insult me,” Luke loftily informed him. “You didn’t invite me,” Noah pointed out. “So I invited myself.” “You’re always welcome here, Pastor,” Chuck said. “Especially if you put that look on the boss’s face.” With a long-suffering sigh, Luke said, “As long as you’re not expecting me to produce the kids. It’s Simon that’s got the childbearing hips.” “Are you saying my ass is fat?” Simon made a play of looking over his shoulder. Tommy ducked his head, hiding his grin. It had been a long time since he had seen Luke and Simon being so playful. The troubles with the vandalism and Luke’s father getting sick again had sapped the easy humor from the people living on the ranch. He was pleased that they were so relaxed around Noah. The pastor had a special talent for relaxing the people around him. Lost in his thoughts, it took a moment for Tommy to notice the firm thigh pressing against his own. He looked up to see Noah cast him a sidelong glance, and heat spiked through Tommy. While he pretended to concentrate on eating, his entire attention was focused on the warmth down his leg. Noah was deeply involved in a conversation about Greg’s progress with Luke and Simon, but his lower body was having an

Complete Faith

21

entirely different conversation with Tommy. It was hard not to react. Tommy wasn’t sure if he wanted to press closer or shift away. The last of the stew was passed around with some more bread. Tommy finished up his meal, concealing a yawn as he handed his plate back to Chuck. “You look exhausted,” Noah murmured. “I was up all night with a sick cow.” “Not more problems?” the pastor asked, his tone concerned. Tommy shook his head. “Not poisoning this time. Just a weak yearling.” “Can you go back to bed, or do you have to stay up tonight?” “The boss has given us the night off. I’ll be back on at six tomorrow morning.” Tommy smothered another yawn. “Go to bed, then,” Noah suggested. For one moment, Tommy thought he heard “…with me.” But Noah was just looking at him, no hint of flirtation in his eyes. “I will soon,” Tommy agreed, wishing he could just lay his head on Noah’s shoulder as Luke was doing with Simon. Luke and Simon had become a lot more affectionate in front of the hands since their world had been turned upside down, and no one seemed bothered by it. It made Tommy realize just how much they had restrained themselves over the previous years. Was that what he would have to do if he came out to the world? Tommy hadn’t been brought up to be publicly affectionate, but to have any form of affection considered obscene… he swallowed hard. “It’s worth it,” Noah said. Confused, Tommy frowned. “What?” “Loving a man as deeply as Luke and Simon love each other. It’s not easy, but believe me, it’s worth it.” Noah smiled. “I see the look in your eyes every time you see them together.” “Have you ever loved someone like that?” Tommy asked. “Once,” Noah said. “It didn’t last like these two, though.” He sounded more resigned than bitter. “I’m sorry,” Tommy said automatically.

22

Sue Brown

Noah gave him a genuine smile. “I’m not. If we’d stayed together, I’d never have ended up here.” And met you was totally implied. Color stained Tommy’s cheeks. Sometimes he hated being a redhead. “We’re glad you are,” Luke leaned over to add. The men around the table all nodded, and Tommy could see the pleased look on Noah’s face. Tommy wondered how many homes had rejected him over the years. Noah grinned at Luke. “The ranch and its friends have doubled my congregation, and the donations to the church roof have tripled since Momma Murray and Evelyn joined the Ladies group.” Tommy groaned. “Don’t remind me. My mom plays poker. My mom….” Pete grinned at him. “I wondered how long it would take you to find out Evelyn’s a card shark.” “It’s so embarrassing,” Tommy moaned. “She used to clean up the tables in her younger days,” Chuck said. Tommy gaped at him. “My mom? But she’s so old.” He promptly flushed as he remembered Chuck and Pete had been at school with his mom and dad. “The boy’s rambling. It must be lack of sleep,” Pete drawled. Nodding in agreement, Chuck threw the last of the bread at Tommy. It struck him in the middle of the forehead. Tommy clapped a hand to his forehead. “Ow! What did you do that for?” “How do I know? I’m old. The brain cells start to decay.” Chuck tapped at his temple. “You’re a good shot,” Noah observed. Chuck grinned at him. “I play darts. It’s something old people do.” “You’re not going to forgive me for that remark, are you?” Tommy asked. “Not in this lifetime,” Chuck agreed. “What’s left of it,” Pete added. Tommy groaned as the other men laughed.

Complete Faith

23

Simon leaned over to whisper something in Luke’s ear. It was obviously something that Luke approved of by the look that crossed his face and the kiss that he pressed to Simon’s lips. It was so loving and hot that it made Tommy shift in his seat. To his surprise he felt someone squeeze his thigh briefly, and then Noah was pushing back his chair. “I’m going to make a move. It’s an early start tomorrow.” The pastor looked down at Tommy, his dark eyes resting on Tommy’s mouth. “Will you walk out with me?” “Uh… yes.” Tommy got to his feet. He couldn’t look at any of the other men in the face. They all knew he was gay; they all knew Noah had the hots for him. But it was one thing admitting he was gay and another doing something about it. Saying good night to everyone else, Noah left, not waiting to see if Tommy was coming after him. Tommy hadn’t thought to put on a jacket, and he shivered in the chill night air. “You’re going to get cold,” Noah scolded gently, folding his own jacket around Tommy’s shoulders. His hands slid down Tommy’s arms, pulling him in gently. “What about you?” “I… I’m fine,” Noah said, waving off the concern. He exhaled sharply, and then Tommy was being pulled in so close he could feel Noah’s warm spicy breath brushing his cheek. Tommy didn’t know where to put his hands and ended up resting them against Noah’s chest, feeling the crisp cotton of Noah’s navy button-down under his fingertips. “Noah…,” he began uncertainly. The pastor stopped him with a finger to his lips. “I like you, Tommy. I know you like me, but I’m not going to make life difficult by pursuing you if you don’t want me to. I’m too old to play games.” “How old are you?” Tommy asked stupidly. “I’m thirty-five,” Noah said. “Is that too old for you?” Tommy shook his head. “I haven’t…. I mean, I’m not….” “I know, and I promise to take it slow. But I’m not going to do anything until you’ve told your parents. I’m not going to lie to them.”

24

Sue Brown

“No!” Panic coiled low in Tommy’s belly. “I can’t tell them. They’ll never forgive me.” Noah looked somber, his eyes resolute as he looked at Tommy. “Then nothing is going to happen. I told you, I’m too old to play making out behind the woodshed, and you’re too old not to be honest. With them and yourself.” “You don’t understand. What if they reject me?” Tommy’s fingers curled into Noah’s shirt. “Then you have a home, a job, friends, and a boyfriend that will take care of you. It’s more than a lot of young men have when they come out.” This time the note of bitterness was evident in Noah’s voice. “What happened to you?” Tommy asked, his curiosity outweighing his panic. Noah’s lips twisted into a sneer. Tommy wanted to smooth the ugly expression off his face. “My parents threw me out when they first found out I was gay.” “But you’re a pastor, a good man,” Tommy protested. “I wasn’t then. I was just a kid needing support. I was unnatural and an abomination.” Tommy could hear the pain behind the words. They were obviously hurtful words flung at Noah and had been embedded in his soul. “Your parents were wrong,” Tommy said firmly, and he saw the smile that twitched at Noah’s lips. “Yes, they were,” Noah agreed, “and we’ve made our peace since then. They didn’t want to lose their only son over something they couldn’t pray outta me. The question is, Tommy Bradley, what are you? Are you gay, or just playing at it?” His hands dropping to his sides, Tommy stared at him, jaw dropping at the damn-fool statement. “Why the hell would I play at being gay?” “Then tell your parents.” “It’s not that easy.” “I never said it was going to be easy. I just said nothing will happen between us unless you do,” Noah said implacably.

Complete Faith

25

Tommy took a step back. “You’re blackmailing me into telling them,” he accused. Noah nodded. “Maybe, but you’ll feel better when you’ve been honest with them. Now I’m going home to my bed. Alone. I’ll be pleased when you can join me.” Heck! The man was driving him mad. It wasn’t like Tommy was about to chase after him just to get into his bed. Slipping the jacket from his shoulders, Tommy handed it back to Noah. “Thanks.” Noah flung it on the backseat and turned back to Tommy. The two men stared at each other. Noah’s eyes were trained on Tommy’s mouth again. Holding his breath, Tommy watched as Noah leaned forward to brush his lips over Tommy’s. Tommy closed his eyes, waiting for his first kiss, only to open them quickly when the door to the bunkhouse opened and the noise of voices penetrated. He looked over to the doorway to see Luke and Simon looking apologetically at them. “Sorry guys,” Luke said. “Good night.” They scurried past the car over to the main house. Tommy turned back to Noah, who looked like he was about to say something, but then the pastor shook his head. “I ought to go. Night, Tommy.” Noah gave him a brief smile and turned to get into his car. He was going to go and leave Tommy like this? Without really thinking about it—and if he had stopped to think, he’d never have been that brave—Tommy stepped forward and grabbed Noah by the arm, turning him around and pressing their mouths together. It wasn’t a good kiss, their mouths slightly off-center and Noah’s teeth grazing his lip, but it was more than just the kiss. Noah’s body was plastered up against his, hard and thrilling, and then he made this noise against Tommy’s lips, half moan, half growl, and he took control, moving their mouths to fit more perfectly together, his tongue licking over Tommy’s lips. Instinctively, Tommy opened his mouth and mimicked Noah’s action, tracing Noah’s full lips. Noah groaned against him, tightening his arms around Tommy to draw their bodies closer together. Tommy was lost in the haze of his first kiss, the feel of a male body pressed up against him, the faint rasp of whiskers on his cheeks.

26

Sue Brown

He’d never doubted he was gay—his reaction to Luke proved that—but this was real, a man kissing him, his arousal jutting against Tommy’s own hardness. This wasn’t a chaste kiss. It was full of promise of what Noah would like to do if Tommy would only let him, and at the moment, Tommy couldn’t think of a single reason to say no. It was Noah who pulled back, breaking their kiss. Tommy was aware he whimpered as their lips parted, and he leaned forward, chasing Noah’s mouth. Tommy watched as Noah’s eyes came back into focus. Noah cupped Tommy’s jaw with his warm hands, drawing their foreheads together. “If we don’t stop now, I’m going to break my rule.” He sighed. Rule? Tommy frowned, his forehead wrinkling against Noah’s. What rule? “You promise me you’ll talk to your parents?” That rule. Tommy took a step back, out of the protective circle of Noah’s arms, shivering again as the cold air hit him. “I can’t,” he said desperately. Noah just looked at him somberly, all traces of arousal gone from his face. “It’s your choice, Tommy. Good night.” Without waiting for Tommy to respond, he got into the car and drove out of the yard, leaving Tommy staring after him. “Are you okay?” The quiet question startled Tommy. He looked up to see Luke standing on the stoop, a concerned expression on his face. “Were you watching?” he asked. Slightly shamefaced, Luke nodded. “I was concerned. Simon told me to leave you alone, but I just wanted to check you were okay.” “I’m not sure,” Tommy admitted, wrapping his arms around himself. Luke walked down the steps over to where Tommy was standing. “Do you want to talk about it?” Tommy nodded, and Luke put an arm around his shoulders and guided him into their kitchen. He sat down at their kitchen table, watching while Luke made a cup of coffee. He didn’t speak until Luke was sitting in front of him, two steaming cups between them. “Where’s Simon?” Tommy asked.

Complete Faith

27

“He went to bed. He thought you might find it too much to be talking to both of us. He says if you need him to talk to Noah, he will.” Startled, Tommy stared at Luke. “”What for? Why does he need to talk to Noah?” “I think he wants to ask him his intentions,” Luke crowed. “His intentions?” Tommy asked faintly. The look on Tommy’s face must have gotten through to Luke because he sobered quickly. “Simon’s just looking out for you, Tommy.” “Noah won’t have a relationship with me unless I tell Mom and Dad I’m gay,” Tommy blurted out. “Really?” Luke looked surprised. “It makes sense, I suppose. He can’t be hiding from your parents.” He took a sip of his drink. “What are you going to do?” “I can’t tell them. They’d never speak to me again.” Tommy clutched the handle of his cup. Luke nodded. He knew Tommy’s parents well. “Even now? They must have mellowed to be going to Noah’s church. They know he’s gay, right?” “I don’t know why they go to St. Mark’s. They hate queers.” Tommy realized what he had just said. “I mean, they….” He stopped as Luke waved it away. “I know. I’ve lived with it all my life, remember?” Biting his lip hard, Tommy looked down at his cup. “Just ask what you want to ask. I’ve known you a long time, Tommy.” “How did you cope? I remember all the things my parents used to say about you. I heard them telling Pastor Jim to make your parents send you away to Jesus camp. You’ve had to put up with people like Macken refusing to deal with you. And now the town turns against you. Why haven’t you moved away?” Luke shrugged. “Bigots live everywhere. In truth, my parents needed me, Simon loved me, and the rest wasn’t that important. Once I left school, most of it stopped. You will get trouble, Tommy, but honestly, do you really want to move away from here?”

28

Sue Brown

Tommy thought about it. He had wanted to before he met Noah, thinking that maybe he’d manage to get to college, but now that he’d met Noah, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. “I don’t know,” he admitted. He finished drinking the coffee and got up. “I ought to go to bed.” Leaning back against his chair, Luke looked up at him. “Noah really likes you, y’know.” “I know.” Tommy couldn’t help the blush rising in his cheeks. “Do you like him?” Tommy didn’t have to think about that. “Yes, I do.” “Do you like him enough to be honest about your sexuality?” “I dunno,” Tommy muttered, digging his fingers into his palms. “Think about it,” Luke suggested. “If you don’t feel he is the one that you trust to lose your virginity to, then don’t do anything.” Now Tommy could have fried eggs on his cheeks. Luke was his boss. Discussing his nonexistent sex life with the man he had spent a lifetime fantasizing about was on par with discussing it with his parents. Yawning loudly, Luke got to his feet, groaning as he stretched. “I need to sleep. It’s been a long day, and I’m back at the hospital tomorrow.” He put the two mugs in the kitchen sink and turned to look at Tommy, still rooted to the spot. “Just think on it, Tommy.” Tommy nodded. He muttered a good-night and left the kitchen, head spinning with all the unanswered problems rattling around in his mind. Back in the bunkhouse, he was thankful to find the kitchen dark. He could hear the sounds of someone taking a shower, and there was the sound of music from Pete’s room. Tommy contemplated another coffee but discarded it as a bad idea. If Luke was back at the hospital, it was going to be a long day tomorrow. Sleep first, worry later. And he did, falling asleep quite quickly, his fingertips brushing his lips as he remembered his first kiss.

Complete Faith

29 Chapter Four

IF

THE first kiss haunted his dreams, it was because there wasn’t

anything else to dream about. The weeks leading up to Christmas were an exercise in frustration for Tommy as Noah refused to move their relationship forward until Tommy had spoken to his parents. There were more kisses; deep, heated kisses pressed up against Noah’s truck or against the rough stone of the church building. But that was it, and Tommy needed so much more. He could feel Noah’s arousal every time they kissed, pressing into his hipbone as they panted into each other’s mouths, so it was a mutual need. Tommy’s dick was making its own protest at the lack of action, but Noah seemed intent on keeping it above the waist and PG-rated, and it was slowly driving Tommy insane. It was made worse by the fact that everywhere he turned, Luke and Simon were all over each other. Since their return from Austin, the hands were relieved to see an improvement in their relationship. Where fractures had been appearing, the two men were comfortable again. All their attention had been focused on the Boss and Momma, but since Greg’s operation, Luke and Simon had been trying to spend time together, and that meant Tommy had occasionally gotten an eyeful of things he shouldn’t. Luke and Simon locking mouths he could deal with, but the thing that had been keeping him up at night was something far more shocking than a simple kiss. It was something that Tommy should never have seen, let alone continued to watch. The main house was separated from the bunkhouse by the yard. The hands were given free access to the house, but for the most part they stayed in the bunkhouse, and ranch meetings that involved all the ranch staff were held there. Sometimes the lack of privacy grated on

30

Sue Brown

Tommy, and he used the back verandah of the main house to get some peace and quiet. One night there was a poker game in the bunkhouse with Luke and Simon joining in. Tommy bowed out, claiming a headache, and went to sit on his preferred seat on the verandah. The temperature was cool, but he wrapped a blanket around him and lay back on the cushioned seats. They were a hangover from Momma’s days of evenings escaping from three kids. As far as he knew, Luke and Simon never used them. He sighed and burrowed down in the blanket to think about the problem that was constantly on his mind: the lack of progression with Noah. He knew Noah was waiting for him to make that public commitment by telling his parents, but, heck, Noah should have known better than anyone just how impossible it was for him to do that. After an hour of futile musings, Tommy was fed up and almost asleep when a noise in the house disturbed him. Tommy opened one eye. He yawned and made to move when he suddenly understood the reason for the noise that had penetrated his sleep. Luke and Simon were sitting together on the sofa. Obviously the poker game was over. Through the French windows, Tommy could see they were kissing, slow, wet kisses that made Tommy’s toes curl. Even though there were no drapes at the windows, if he moved quietly, hopefully they would be too involved to notice what was going on outside. Then Tommy realized what they were doing, and he froze, his limbs locked into place, unable to tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him. Tommy had always known that Simon was a toppy bastard. He also knew that Luke was no sub—his limited research in gay porn had taught him that—but as far as their sex life was concerned, Simon was most definitely in charge. One memorable day the hands discovering Simon fucking Luke senseless had been Tommy’s jerk-off material for months. But this was so much more. This was quiet and intimate and something no one else should have seen. This was Luke naked while Simon was fully clothed. Tommy had a perfect view of Luke nestled between Simon’s legs, open and exposed to Tommy’s gaze as Simon dipped two fingers in and out of his hole. Luke’s head was resting back against Simon’s broad chest, his eyes closed and a blissed-out expression on his face. One of Simon’s large arms was slung

Complete Faith

31

possessively across Luke’s flat belly, and the other was under his balls, fingers pressing in. Simon’s eyes were fierce as they fixed on Luke, his expression taking Tommy’s breath away. As Tommy watched, Simon pulled his fingers out, and Luke’s whimper turned into a groan of pleasure when Simon pressed back in with a third finger. It was a stunning tableau, seeing the flush spread down Luke’s pale chest as Simon’s hand moved to Luke’s cock, crimson and weeping, fisted in Simon’s large hand, and below his tight balls, Simon’s slick fingers pushing in and out of his glistening hole. Mouth dry, Tommy knew he needed to leave, to stop watching, but he still couldn’t move. Luke was making these loud, needy groans that went straight to Tommy’s cock. Beneath the shelter of his blanket, Tommy pressed the heel of his palm against the hard, aching length in his jeans. He nearly came there and then when Simon got a fourth finger into Luke. The older man was writhing so hard, Simon had to hold him down. Tommy’s eyes fixed on the slip-slide of Simon’s fingers. Tommy had never seen anything so filthy, dirty right, and he wanted. Sweat-slick and flushed, Luke was more than anything Tommy had imagined in his wildest dreams, teased and tormented by his lover. Tommy tried to make his body move away before he was caught, but then he heard Luke begging in a strained, wrecked voice that he knew would haunt his dreams. “Please, boss, please, Si, please.” Simon chuckled. “What do you want me to do, baby?” Tommy saw Luke pressing desperate kisses to Simon’s neck. “I need it, I need your whole hand, please.” “Since you asked so nicely.” With Tommy watching openmouthed, Simon slowly pressed his entire hand inside Luke’s body. It was too much for Tommy’s fragile control. He ripped open his jeans desperately, only managing to get a hand on his cock before he was coming all over it. As he came down from his orgasm, he saw Luke reach his own noisy climax. Hoping they were still too occupied to notice him move, Tommy hitched the blanket around his shoulders and sat up. To his horror, Simon took his eyes off Luke and looked directly out the window. Waiting for the worst, the last thing Tommy expected was for

32

Sue Brown

Simon to wink at him. Tommy gaped at him, and Simon smiled, mouthing “Time to go” before concentrating again on his spaced-out lover. Clutching at his blanket, Tommy scampered back to the bunkhouse, awkwardly holding up his pants as he ran. How long had Simon known he was there? Why the hell hadn’t he said anything to Luke? In the safety of his own room, Tommy cleaned himself up as best as possible with tissues and lay down on his bed, his mind whirling with the images he had just seen. He had watched porn, even ventured onto some of the BDSM sites briefly before deciding they were not for him, but what he had just witnessed was more than just sex. Porn had always been a means to get off, but Tommy had never had an emotional reaction to seeing a couple of men fuck. He had never seen in porn the love and trust that he’d just witnessed. Luke had placed himself completely into Simon’s hands, and Simon had held him together as he broke him apart. It left Tommy breathless and wanting, and the frustration in his mind and body ratcheted even higher.

Complete Faith

33 Chapter Five

BY THE time Christmas arrived, Tommy was consumed with the image of Luke and Simon, only in his mind he had replaced it with Noah and himself, and there was no question about which role he was playing. The fantasy in Tommy’s mind played out in vivid Technicolor every time he went to bed, and he woke up with an aching dick and a sore jaw from grinding his teeth. He’d gotten no further with talking to his parents and consequently no further with Noah. Tommy was so strung out and angry he snapped at Jack over something really trivial just to relieve some frustration. Simon overheard the exchange. After sending a furious Jack away to muck out the stalls, Simon looked at Tommy, who was standing by the fence, chewing furiously on his bottom lip. “What was that all about?” Simon asked, fixing Tommy with a direct stare. “Nothing. Just a misunderstanding,” Tommy muttered, forcing himself not to scuff at the ground with his toe. Simon raised an eyebrow. “A misunderstanding? Looked to me like you were spoiling for a fight.” “It was nothing,” Tommy insisted, glaring at the foreman. “Then you can go over there and apologize to him for picking a fight over nothing.” Tommy opened his mouth to say that there wasn’t any way on God’s green earth he’d do that but remembered in time who he was talking to and reined back the angry words. Simon sighed. “Isn’t it about time you grew a set, Tommy?” “What?” Tommy stared at him openmouthed.

34

Sue Brown

“Look, you can hide in the closet your whole life or you can man up and take what you want. Either way there’s gonna be shit, but Noah’s worth it, isn’t he?” At Tommy’s nod, Simon shrugged. “It seems to me you’ve got a choice to make, but either way you’ve got to be content with your decision and deal with it like an adult. You can’t keep being angry at your parents forever. You’re a grown man, Tommy. Maybe it’s time to act like one.” He walked away then, leaving Tommy staring after him, his brow furrowed as he contemplated Simon’s speech. It took him a few minutes to collect his thoughts, but in the end he knew that he had an apology to make before he did anything else. Jack accepted it with ill grace, but by the time Tommy had helped him muck out the stalls and lead in all the horses for the evening, he was at least speaking to Tommy again. Tommy was lying on his bed, his headphones on, intent on shutting out the rest of the world, when there was a knock on his door. Lost in the music, he didn’t pay much attention at first, but then there was a louder knock. “Come on in,” he called out, expecting to see Chuck or Pete. When Noah popped his head around the door, Tommy grinned to cover his nervousness. Noah returned his grin, but it was a subdued version of his normal smile, and Tommy could see the tiredness etched on his face. “Can’t stop for long, but I was passing and thought I’d call in,” Noah said. He was wearing a sweater in electric blue that Tommy recognized as a creation of Mrs. McKay’s, a parishioner with a penchant for knitting in crazy colors. Still rather self-conscious, Tommy pulled Noah close to him. “Bad day?” “Long day.” Noah sighed against Tommy’s chest. “Susan’s baby is having breathing problems. They asked me to sit with them and pray for them.” “Poor little Noah. Is he gonna be all right?” Susan and Emma had named their newborn infant after the pastor, to Tommy’s delight and Noah’s embarrassment.

Complete Faith

35

“I hope so. The doctors think he’ll be fine. He just needs a little extra help for a while.” “Are they getting any more trouble from the nurses?” Tommy asked. The lesbian parents had been on the receiving end of some distressing hostility from a couple of the nurses. Noah had been there for one of the incidents, and he had made a formal complaint to the hospital. Still burying his face in Tommy’s neck, Noah shook his head. “Emma said that it had all been fine. Both nurses have been suspended, and the other nurses have been very friendly.” “Good.” Tommy stroked Noah’s hair. “Why don’t you sit down, and I’ll get some hot chocolate. I bet Chuck has made some by now.” Noah nodded and shuffled over to Tommy’s bed. “Lie down for a minute.” Tommy pulled a blanket over Noah and dimmed the light. “I’m gonna fall asleep if you do that,” Noah pointed out, already sounding sleepy. Tommy grinned as he left the room. There was no “gonna” about it. As expected, Chuck was at the stove making hot chocolate while, from the sounds of it, Pete was still in the shower. Chuck looked over his shoulder as Tommy came into the kitchen. “Noah want some of this?” he asked. Tommy nodded. “I’ll take a cup to him, although he’s probably asleep by now. He’s been at the hospital all day with Susan and Emma.” “Is the baby all right?” Chuck got an extra cup down for Noah and poured the milky drink into four cups. Tommy took his and blew on it to cool it down. “Some breathing problems, Noah said. The doctors don’t seem too worried.” “That’s good.” Chuck yawned and picked up two of the cups. “’M gonna give this to Pete and turn in. Got an early start tomorrow. Night, Tommy.” “Night.”

36

Sue Brown

Back in Tommy’s bedroom, Noah was curled up asleep, as expected. Tommy wasn’t sure what to do. Placing one of the cups on the nightstand, he sat gently on the bed and sipped at his drink. Noah didn’t stir. By the time Tommy was ready for bed, he decided to leave Noah where he was. He wasn’t ready to tackle Noah’s clothes, but he slipped off Noah’s shoes to make him more comfortable. The man muttered a protest at being disturbed, but he settled back down when Tommy covered him again. Tommy walked around the bed and slipped under the comforter. It was a bit restricted with Noah sleeping on top of it, but he didn’t care. Tommy closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind of the fact that a man, Noah, was sleeping in his bed, his soft snuffles in Tommy’s ear. When he woke up, Noah was gone. Swallowing down his disappointment, Tommy squinted at the clock: 4:00 a.m. He wondered what time Noah had left. As he rolled over, his hand hit something that crackled. Turning on the lamp on the nightstand, Tommy saw it was a note. Blinking sleepily, he tried to focus on the scrawled words. Thank you for letting me sleep. N xx Tommy yawned and turned off the light. He had to get up at six. He needed more sleep. Still clutching the note, he snuggled into the comforter, smelling Noah’s spicy cologne. As he tumbled back into sleep, Tommy remembered that he’d been disturbed by a light touch on his temple as Noah kissed him good-bye.

TOMMY was cooking breakfast when Pete stumbled in scratching his belly. “Where’s Noah?” Pete asked as he sat down. Feeling his cheeks blush bright red, Tommy kept his back to Pete while he poked at the food in the pan. “He… uh… went home last night.”

Complete Faith

37

“Must have been late cuz I didn’t hear him go.” Pete yawned again. “Is there any coffee in the pot?” “Yeah, fresh-made.” And that was the end of the conversation. Chuck didn’t mention it at all. Tommy was left wondering if he was the only one who thought it was a big deal that a man had slept in his bed the previous night, admittedly on his bed rather than in it. He knew that the person he should be talking to about it was the man himself, and he would, but after Christmas. They weren’t going to spend the day together because Tommy was expected to be with his mom and dad, and Noah intended to leave straight after the service to spend Christmas Day with his parents. Tommy decided that Christmas Day was not the right time to come out to his parents. It was the Lord’s day. It could wait.

NOAH asked Tommy to keep an eye out for Greg and Pamela when they arrived for the Christmas morning service, knowing that Greg was still fragile and could only walk short distances. The parking lot filled up quickly, and there were a few scowls from people when Tommy directed them away from the vacant space, but on the whole latecomers were remarkably good-natured when Tommy explained he was keeping the space for Greg. Simon pulled into the lot just before the service started, parking where Tommy directed him. Although Greg grumbled a little, Tommy knew he was grateful that he didn’t have far to walk. Tommy could see the Boss leaned heavily on Luke’s arm as they walked through the main doors. The church was full for the Christmas service, but Tommy had asked his parents to save them all a space. Noah was in fine form during the service, making a point to pick on Luke and Simon at every opportunity. The bosses of the Lost Cow tried to give their hands the day off every Sunday when the ranch wasn’t busy. Everyone was thankful for the free day, although they all knew it was partly a selfish desire on the part of the two men to spend some quality time alone together. Their attendance at St. Mark’s was sporadic, much to the mostly feigned

38

Sue Brown

disgust of the pastor. Consequently, when Luke and Simon did attend, they were the butt of Noah’s acerbic humor. Luke bore it in good humor, even laughing at himself when he was still standing when everyone else sat down. Tommy spent the whole of the service staring at Noah. The pastor was dressed in a smart gray wool suit and a red shirt that suited his chocolate-colored skin. He looked stunning, and Tommy almost drooled at the sight of his man. At the end of the service, Noah asked Gary and Evelyn if he could borrow Tommy for a few minutes to help lock up, as Ray, Noah’s assistant, needed to get away early. From the frown on Tommy’s mom’s face, she wasn’t happy with the idea but was soothed by Noah’s promise that he would drop Tommy home on his way to his parents’ house. “I need to make sure that no one is alone today,” Noah said as he stripped off his jacket and tie in the vestry. Tommy did his best not to stare at the V of skin exposed as Noah undid the top buttons of his button-down. He thought it was rather unfair of Noah to expose him to temptation when there was nothing he could do about it. “Tommy?” It was obvious from the amused curve of Noah’s lips that he knew exactly where Tommy had been staring. “Yes?” Tommy knew he was crimson. “I’m just going to check everyone is sorted for today.” Noah and Ray had worked out a buddy system, determined that none of his congregation would be alone for Christmas Day. It had proved remarkably easy, and many single members of all ages were joining together for a large lunch. “Huh, okay.” Tommy really needed to get it together. He dragged his eyes away from Noah’s chest, deciding to make sure the church was tidy. “Come here.” Noah’s voice was soft. Tommy turned to find Noah close to him. “Hey.”

Complete Faith

39

Noah threaded his fingers through Tommy’s hair. “Need to give my boy his Christmas kiss.” Without hesitation, Tommy leaned in for a kiss, loving the growl in Noah’s throat as their lips met. As kisses went, it was short, but it was anything but chaste. By the time Noah raised his head, Tommy was breathless and fidgeting in his slacks. Noah had a sweet smile on his face. “Happy Christmas, Tommy.” “Happy Christmas, Noah.” Tommy was a heartbeat away from kissing Noah again, but a knock at the door derailed his intention. He stepped back hastily just as Ray poked his head around the door. “Noah? I’ve gotta go. See you next week. Uh… sorry.” Ray smirked at them both. “Happy Christmas and get lost,” Noah growled at him. “Going, going! Bye!” Ray shut the door. About to speak, Tommy halted when Noah raised a finger. “Wait,” Noah whispered. The door opened again. “You didn’t have to stop on my account,” Ray said. Tommy grinned at him. “We didn’t. Happy Christmas, Ray. Now shoo!” Ray departed again, but the moment between the two men was lost. Running a hand over his close-cropped hair, Noah said, “I’ll check on the flock and meet you at the door.” Tommy let him go. It was hard not to reel him back in for another kiss, but Noah had a job to do, and the more they kissed here, the more likely they’d be caught. Ray would keep his mouth shut, but he couldn’t trust some of the other members of the congregation not to congratulate his mother on the new love match with the pastor. Tommy shuddered. He wasn’t ready for that conversation yet.

40

Sue Brown Chapter Six

THE following Sunday he was at church as usual. Luke and Simon had shooed everyone away again so they could get some alone time, and Tommy accompanied his mom and dad to worship at St. Mark’s. He’d decided that after lunch he would tell his parents about his sexuality because, yes, Noah was worth it, and he couldn’t wait any longer. But what if Noah had changed his mind? What if he’d decided that Tommy just wasn’t worth the hassle? Tommy hadn’t seen or spoken to Noah since Christmas Day, and he was concerned by Noah’s silence. All through the service, Tommy worried at his bottom lip, distracted enough that his mom had to nudge him in places to stand up or kneel down. The sermon was an exercise in torture as he stared at Noah, who was in full force about how an eye for an eye didn’t actually mean retaliation whatever the provocation. The small part of Tommy that was actually concentrating on the words thought Noah was a brave or foolish man, telling a group of people that had been persecuted for years that they’d have to turn the other cheek. It took Tommy a while to realize Noah wasn’t his usual self. Usually his sermons were full of self-deprecating humor, and he wasn’t above picking on someone to “help” him with his sermons. Luke really hated that, which made him the obvious target. The sermon today had been full of emotion and intensity without the humor he had come to expect. Watching him closely, Tommy could see Noah was holding himself so tightly he was like a wire about to snap. After the service, the congregation gathered together for coffee in the anteroom at the side of the church. As Tommy waited for Noah to join them, he overheard a small group of the older gay men talking. Their voices were low, and when Tommy glanced over their way, they stopped talking until he looked away again. It wasn’t the usual friendly

Complete Faith

41

atmosphere he had come to expect at St. Mark’s, where everyone joined together at the end of every service, buoyed along by the ebullience of their priest. Noah didn’t emerge for coffee, and Tommy started to worry. He slipped away without his parents noticing and knocked on the door leading to the vestry. When there was no answer, Tommy hesitated, not wanting to intrude, but he was concerned for Noah. His concern overriding everything else, Tommy opened the door to find the pastor sitting at his desk, his head in his hands. “Noah? What’s wrong?” Tommy knelt by Noah’s side, his hand on the pastor’s back. Noah looked up and Tommy was horrified at how distraught the man looked now he was away from the public gaze. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse. “Some of my friends were in a car accident last night. They were driven off the road.” “Men from here?” Tommy hadn’t heard anything about it, but he was still relatively new to the congregation and he didn’t live near the church. “No. They were from my old church near Wichita Falls. Kevin and Brandon decided to stay when I moved here, but they’ve been harassed by some of the rednecks in the congregation since I left. I spoke to them on Thursday, begged them to join me here. They agreed, but this morning I got a call to say they were in hospital.” “Are they badly hurt?” “Brandon’s okay apart from a broken leg, but Kevin’s… Kevin’s bad. They don’t know if he’ll make it. I’ve known him for over twenty years. I was at school with Kevin and his brother. They were always there for me.” Noah choked back a sob. Without hesitation, Tommy gathered him in his arms. The older man buried his face in Tommy’s neck, his shoulders shaking with the effort of trying not to let go. Murmuring soothing nothings, Tommy stroked Noah’s hair, feeling the tight curls under his fingertips. He could feel the tears slicking his neck but just held him tighter, waiting for him to get his grief under control. At one point somebody walked in. Tommy had his back to the door, so he couldn’t see who it was. The person didn’t say anything, just backed

42

Sue Brown

out quietly and shut the door. Noah didn’t seem to notice either the interruption or Tommy’s mental freak-out at being caught with a man in his arms. After a while the crying subsided and Noah raised his head, his eyes bloodshot and red-rimmed. He gave a small laugh and a gulp, and then he said, “I think I made a mess of your neck.” Tommy swiped a thumb across the tear tracks on Noah’s cheeks. “It’s not a problem. Would you like a drink of water?” Noah nodded as he hunted in the pockets of his slacks. Assuming he was looking for something to blow his nose with, Tommy reached over and pulled a couple of tissues out of the box that was kept just for that purpose, handing them over. He got up from his knees with a small groan. Noah kept a small fridge in the corner of the vestry, and Tommy looked inside. As usual, it was stacked full of water bottles. Tommy took the open one and looked around for the paper cups. He couldn’t find any, so Tommy just gave Noah the bottle and watched as the pastor opened it and drank, embarrassed by the way he was turned on at the sight of Noah’s throat working. The bottle was half empty before Noah stopped drinking. He placed it on the desk and sighed, looking up at Tommy with an apologetic expression. “I’m sorry about that.” Tommy knelt before him again and took Noah’s hands in his. “Do you really think I care about a bit of snot?” “When you spend your days shoveling shit? I guess not.” Noah gave him a weak smile, a faint trace of his normal humor in his tone. “Your sermon… an eye for an eye…,” Tommy began. The humor left Noah’s face. “I was talking to me.” Tommy could see the shudder he gave, and then Noah said, “Are you going to your parents’ for lunch?” “I was, but I can stay here if you want me to.” His heart sank when Noah shook his head. “Brandon has asked me to go and see Kevin. They still consider me their priest and want me to be there if… if… anything happens.” He stuttered over the possibility of his friend’s death. “I’ll be going after lunch. I’ve asked the pastor of Bay Chapel to be on standby.”

Complete Faith

43

Dismayed, Tommy sat back on his heels. “How long do you think you’ll be gone for?” He was aware that his question was perilously close to a whine. This was disastrous timing. He was so sure that by tonight he’d have told his parents and then been in Noah’s arms for comfort and other things. Now he was going to have to decide if he’d wait for Noah’s return to confront his parents or do it anyway and live with the consequences. “I don’t know. It depends if anything happens to Kevin.” Noah stood up, pulling Tommy with him. He drew Tommy in closer. Tommy almost pulled away in case anyone walked in, but he forced himself not to move. Noah stroked Tommy’s cheek. “I’ve got to go, Tommy.” Making sure Noah was looking at him, Tommy leaned forward and kissed Noah gently. “Of course you have. They need you.” He cupped Noah’s jaw. “I will be here when you get back.” Noah looked doubtful. “Will you?” “Yes, I will. I’m telling Mom and Dad about me.” Tommy hesitated, not wanting to put extra pressure on Noah. “I am going to tell them today. When you get back, I will be here waiting for you.” Tommy watched as Noah’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?” Tommy opened his mouth to tell him that he hadn’t been more sure of anything in his life when there was a knock at the door. Noah gave him a rueful smile and stepped away from Tommy with obvious reluctance. “Come in,” Noah called. Luke’s mom came into the vestry, a concerned expression on her face. “Are you all right, Noah? I’ve just heard about your friends.” Tommy gave silent thanks that it wasn’t his mother. “I’m fine, Momma. Tommy lent me a shoulder. Have you heard I’ll be away for a few days?” She nodded and walked forward to give Noah a swift hug. “When are you going?” “As soon as I lock up. My bag is already packed and in the back of my car.” “You just go. We can finish off for you. Ray can lock up.”

44

Sue Brown

Noah looked startled, as if he hadn’t thought of asking for help. “I’m sorry to leave you with Greg still poorly.” Tommy suppressed a grin as Pamela scolded the pastor for even thinking of it. It wasn’t surprising that Luke’s mom treated Noah like one of the ranch hands, one of her own. It was the way she treated everyone she liked. If Momma was icily polite to you, then you had to worry. She gave them both a careful look. “I’ll sort out who is still here, and Tommy, your mom is looking for you.” Giving Noah a kiss on the cheek, she said, “I’ll be praying for your friends,” and she left the vestry. Noah’s face changed, and the sadness and worry returned. “I ought to go.” “Yes,” Tommy agreed, not wanting to let him go. They stared at each other awkwardly for a minute, Tommy wanting to hold Noah again and having the gut instinct that the older man just wanted to step back into Tommy’s arms. But then the door opened again and his mom was in the doorway, a strange expression on her face. “Tommy, are you ready to leave? Your dad is anxious to get back before the storm hits.” Noah grimaced. “I’d forgotten about that.” Giving his mom a smile, Tommy said, “I’m ready to go.” He turned to Noah. “Go now. You’ll at least get a head start against the weather.” “Good idea.” Noah looked around almost helplessly, and then he shrugged, picking up his keys from his desk. Tommy realized Noah wasn’t thinking clearly, worry and grief clouding his thought processes. “Go,” he said firmly, shepherding Noah to the door, ignoring Evelyn standing in the doorway. Most people had gone by the time they got out of the vestry. The few remaining members of the congregation smiled cautiously at Noah, and, his heart sinking, Tommy noticed his dad glaring at them as he stood waiting by the large doors leading to the church grounds.

Complete Faith

45

Ray came over and hugged Noah. It was still a shock to Tommy that men were so openly affectionate with each other in front of strangers, particularly folks like his parents. “Call when you get there. Let me know how Kevin’s doing.” Sniffing a little, Noah agreed. He was hugged by Pamela again, and then he took his leave with a last smile at Tommy. Tommy joined his parents by the door. “Ready to go now?” his father asked gruffly. “Yes, sir,” he said and bid Pamela and a few others farewell. Neither of his parents would look him in the eye as they walked in silence to his dad’s car, and a nasty feeling coiled deep in his belly. They didn’t say anything, though, and rode in silence back to his parents’ home. Tommy’s thoughts kept drifting back to Noah, driving for hundreds of miles, not knowing if his friend was dead or alive. Tommy expected his mom to go into the kitchen to finish making lunch. As usual, a beef stew had been slowly cooking while they had been at church. Instead his parents went straight into the lounge, beckoning him to follow them. “We need to talk, son,” his father said, and his expression reignited that uneasy feeling at the pit of Tommy’s stomach. He sat down, knowing what they were about to discuss and feeling strangely calm. Tommy had dreaded this day for the past decade, and now that it had arrived, well, goddammit, he was twentythree, he could deal. That was the theory, anyway. Evelyn was sitting in her usual chair, feet tucked primly under her seat. Tommy had a sudden vision of his mom at the poker table. It helped, a little. His father cleared his throat and leaned forward, his face bleak. “Your mother and I feel that we need to have a conversation about you and Pastor Noah.” “Yes?” Tommy hoped that his tone was questioning and not plain petrified. “I—I saw you with him earlier today… holding him,” his father clarified. “In the vestry?” Tommy asked.

46

Sue Brown

At his father’s nod, Tommy said, “He was upset. I was comforting him.” His parents looked at each other, and then Gary said, “You looked… close.” Suddenly Tommy was fed up with all the dancing around. “We are close, Dad. He’s my friend.” “Your… friend?” his mom asked, her tone suggesting there might be a nasty smell under her nose. “My friend,” Tommy said firmly. “Noah is….” Tommy saw his father hunting for an inoffensive word. It was an improvement, he thought. During Tommy’s adolescence, his father had been even more bigoted than his mother. “Yes?” Tommy asked innocently. “Noah is a homosexual,” his mother said. “We are… we are worried that people might think you are… are….” “Gay?” Tommy supplied in a harsh tone. “Well… yes.” His mother tripped over the words. “We know you’re not, but if you are seen, people might think….” “I am.” “You are what?” Tommy could see the exact moment his mother got what he was telling them. Her face drained of color, and her hands were whiteknuckled as they clasped together. “I am gay.” “Of course you aren’t,” his father said brusquely. “Don’t be ridiculous, Thomas.” The last time his father had called him Thomas was the day he’d told them he was going to college. That was the day his dreams of getting away had crumbled into dust. Tommy looked steadily at his father. “I am gay,” he said. “I’ve known for a long time, but I wasn’t brave enough to tell you.”

Complete Faith

47

“I told you that he’d be damaged by working for the Murray boy,” his father snapped at his mother. “He should have gone to another spread.” Tommy couldn’t resist rolling his eyes. “Working with Luke and Simon didn’t turn me gay. I knew I was before I went there.” “No, I won’t believe it. My son is not a queer,” his father said harshly. “I’ve known since I was thirteen,” Tommy admitted. His palms were sweating, but he was determined not to show fear. He was an adult man, not a teenager. “No!” Gary bellowed. “Yes. The only person who knew was Luke, and I asked him not to tell anyone. I haven’t been hiding anyone from you.” He watched his mother flinch. “Because I knew how you’d react. I was getting sick of hiding something so important, and I was going to move away. But I thought when you met Noah and started going to St. Mark’s that you’d finally realized how wrong your views were. I thought….” Tommy sucked in a breath, aware he was perilously close to tears. “I thought I’d finally be able to be happy and honest with you both for the first time in my life.” He watched as his mother’s eyes filled with tears and knew exactly what was coming next. “I thought you loved us?” she whispered. Tommy sighed. His mom had always been good at emotional blackmail. “I do love you, Mom. Being gay has nothing to do with how much I love you. I thought you’d be happy for me that I could be honest with you.” “How can you talk about us being happy that you’re one of those disgusting creatures?” Evelyn spat out venomously. Anger swept away the tears at his mother’s words. Shaking with rage, Tommy responded, “Disgusting like your pastor? Like Noah? Like Luke and Simon? Or disgusting like the men who persecuted the Lost Cow for months? Disgusting like the men who drove the Boss into having another heart attack? Is that what you mean?” “Be quiet!”

48

Sue Brown

“No, I won’t!” Tommy yelled right back at his mother. If he was going down, then he would say his piece. “You don’t want to hear that I’m gay? Why the fu—” He stopped just in time. “Why are you going to Noah’s church? He is queer.” “We wanted to support Greg and Pamela. It wasn’t right, what the town did.” Tommy snorted. “The town didn’t do it to the Boss and Momma. They did it to Luke and Simon. I stupidly thought you were supporting them as well.” “Luke and Simon brought it on themselves…,” his father started. That was it. Tommy stood up and looked coldly down at his parents. “The boss and Simon did nothing but love each other. All the rest was started by your God-fearing so-called normal people. I’m gay. I’ve denied myself to please you, but not anymore. I don’t think you should come to St. Mark’s anymore. Go back to Pastor Tony. You can cheer him on as he burns all the queers.” He had to stop. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he looked at the stunned faces of his parents. His father was clenching his fists as if he were a heartbeat away from punching Tommy in the face. Without waiting for a response, Tommy walked out of his childhood home, the deathly hush behind him his only good-bye. His throat was tight and swollen, but he refused to give in to the anger and pain. This day had been a long time coming.

Complete Faith

49 Chapter Seven

WHEN he got back to the ranch, his jaw was aching from clenching his teeth so tightly. The yard was quiet, and he hoped to slip into his room unnoticed, but Simon came around the corner just as he got out of the truck. The expression must have been clear on Tommy’s face because the ranch foreman didn’t say anything, just steered Tommy into his house and sat him down at the kitchen table. “You told them?” Tommy nodded miserably. “I did. How did you guess?” “Kinda obvious. Here.” Simon thrust a beer into his hand. Not wanting to break down and make a fool of himself, Tommy took a long swallow before looking around. “Where’s Luke?” “He’s talking to Momma.” Simon picked at the label on the bottle before he spoke again. “What happened?” Closing his eyes against the concerned expression on Simon’s face, Tommy said, “Going to Noah’s hasn’t rubbed off on them. They’re still the closed-minded bigots I’ve always known. I was stupid to hope for anything different.” “What did they say?” “Once they told me that you’d brought all the trouble on yourselves, I left,” Tommy said, realizing it wasn’t the most tactful thing to say when Simon’s face darkened. “’M sorry,” he mumbled. Sighing, Simon offered him another beer. “Not like it’s your fault. I’m just sorry you have to put up with all that shit. I thought they were over that. I guess I was really lucky with my parents.”

50

Sue Brown

“You and Luke,” Tommy agreed. “I used to pray that my mom would turn into Momma overnight.” And every morning he would be angry that God had ignored his prayers. Simon laughed as he handed Tommy the bottle. “Pamela is one in a million. Y’know, I used to pray to be straight.” Tommy stared at him wide-eyed. “You didn’t.” “I did,” Simon confirmed. “I remember railing at God for not answering me, and then my mom caught me and said God would answer my prayers—in his own way.” “You’re not straight,” Tommy observed. “Straight? Who’s straight? If he is, then we have a problem.” Luke came into the kitchen and kissed Simon hard on the lips. Luke was well-known for being jealous of anyone who came near his man. Simon laughed and slapped Luke’s ass. “God dropped this possessive freak in my lap instead.” “I’m the answer to all your prayers?” “I haven’t had time to worry about it since then,” corrected Simon. “You’re high maintenance.” Tommy smiled at their easy banter, but his heart ached. They were so loving and possessive. He wanted that with Noah. He could have that with Noah now, he realized. Luke looked at him, a frown between his eyes. “I just heard about Noah. Have you heard from him yet?” “Not yet, it’s only been….” Tommy looked at his watch. “Three hours since he left.” Three hours? Was that all? Simon looked confused. “What happened to Noah?” “His friends were run off the road last night,” Luke explained. “They aren’t sure one of them is going to make it.” “They asked Noah to come because they feel Noah is still their priest,” Tommy added. “You talked to him?” Luke asked. Tommy nodded. “I knew something was wrong during the service so I went to see him afterwards. He was darned upset. My dad caught

Complete Faith

51

me holding him while he cried.” He looked at his beer bottle, embarrassed that he’d admitted Noah’s weakness out loud. “Noah was lucky to have you there,” Luke said. “But what’s happened with your dad?” Tommy sighed as he thought about the confrontation. “They didn’t say anything until we got home, and then I told them.” “They didn’t take it well?” Luke asked. “’Bout as well as you’d expect,” Tommy said morosely. “I thought maybe they’d changed since they’d been going to Noah’s church, but no, they’re as prejudiced as ever.” He looked up to see both men staring back with sympathy. “I told them I was gay. They told me… well, they told me that you….” “S’okay, Tommy, we get it.” Luke didn’t look angry, which was good because he was known for his temper. “What if they never speak to me again?” Tommy finally vocalized his fears. Despite his anger at his parents’ refusal to accept what he was, Tommy loved his mom and dad, and the thought of being rejected by them scared him. He knew that he had a job and a home surrounded by loving and caring people—and soon, hopefully, a boyfriend—but they were still his family. “They love you,” Simon said, leaning forward to grasp Tommy’s forearm. “They’re just shocked and need some time.” Swallowing against the lump in his throat, Tommy looked down at the hand on his arm. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched him apart from the kisses with Noah. His family wasn’t touchy-feely, and sometimes he’d longed for someone just to hug him, like Momma Murray hugged all of her kids. It made him realize how starved he was for human touch. He was taken aback when Luke came around the table and hugged him briefly. With a shock, he realized that they wouldn’t have done this before he came out. Pulling up a chair, Luke said, “They’ll come around, and if they don’t, you have us. Now you’re out, we’ll look after you. Momma’s been dying to adopt you for years.” Simon nodded in agreement. “I swear she wants to adopt the whole ranch. Have you told Noah?”

52

Sue Brown

“’Bout my parents? Not yet. He’s got more important things to worry about. I promised I’d be waiting for him when he got back.” “Poor man.” They were all silent for a moment, and then Simon mentioned dinner and Tommy found himself sitting at the table with a steaming bowl of chili and nachos, Luke and Simon keeping up an easy conversation. It was only partway through the meal that Tommy remembered this was Luke and Simon’s day together. His boss dismissed his apology with a wave of a nacho. “I’m just sorry Noah couldn’t join us. When he’s back, we can eat together.” “Have you got Noah’s cell number?” Tommy asked, suddenly realizing he didn’t. Luke nodded. “I have. I got it in case something happened to Pops.” “I’ll call him tomorrow,” Tommy decided, “check he got there safely.” Licking the last of the guacamole and sour cream off his fingers, Simon said, “That’s a good idea. He’ll probably need a friend.” Tommy thought about this for a while. Noah always seemed so self-sufficient and in control. It hadn’t occurred to him before that sometimes the pastor might also need a shoulder. He rubbed his temple, feeling the start of a headache. “We need to ride fence and check the pastures this afternoon. Si and I are taking the quad bikes to look at the east fence. Why don’t you take Levi out and do the south fence.” Luke steered Tommy to the kitchen door. “You need time to think and get your head around it all.” He was about to protest but ended up yawning instead, deciding that maybe Luke was right and he needed to take Levi out for a ride this afternoon. Tommy had too much going on in his head. An afternoon on horseback was the best way of relaxing when he was stressed. The issue with his parents wasn’t resolved, and he knew that at some point he would probably break down, but the worry about Noah was there as well, and his brain was just too tired to deal.

Complete Faith

53

CALLING Noah seemed like a good idea. Tommy was sure the pastor would appreciate a call from a friend. Actually making the call was a whole heap of something else. He stared at his cell for almost an hour before picking it up and dialing the number. “Noah Taylor.” He sounded so tired Tommy’s heart ached for him. “Noah?” “Yes?” The voice sounded cautious now. “Who is…? Tommy? Is that you? Tommy nodded, forgetting that Noah couldn’t see him. “Yeah, I thought I’d call and see how your friend is.” And talk to you because I want to hear your voice. “That’s really kind of you. Kevin’s hanging on. He’s still critical, but there’s been a minor improvement.” “And your other friend? Brandon?” “He’s a mess. The hospital was giving him trouble about being with Kevin until I arrived. There’s always some advantage to the collar. I’ve been sitting with him at Kevin’s bedside. I’d just stepped out to get some air when you called.” “Have you had any sleep?” Tommy asked, concerned since Noah had driven for hours yesterday. “Not much. The seats are really uncomfortable. I made Brandon get some sleep last night, and he’s sending me back to his place tonight.” Noah punctuated the sentence with a yawn. There was a pause, and Tommy struggled to think of something to say that wasn’t “When are you coming back to me?” “Did you speak to your parents?” The question was asked very casually. “I did. They didn’t like it,” Tommy said just as casually, trying not to give away the hurt he felt from his parents’ rejection. Noah didn’t need the added stress. “Simon and Luke looked after me.”

54

Sue Brown

“Oh?” There was a wealth of meaning in that short word. “That was nice of them. How exactly did they look after you?” “Gave me a shoulder, gave me lunch, and gave me a ride,” Tommy said innocently. He wasn’t sure, but he could swear he heard Noah growl. “I spent the afternoon out on Levi, which gave me some time to think,” he added, glad Noah couldn’t see the satisfied smirk on his face. “What did they say?” Noah asked, his tone back to the soothing pastor that Tommy was used to hearing. “’Bout what you’d expect. They don’t want a faggot for a son. I didn’t tell them I had the hots for their pastor, although they might have got the idea from my arms around you.” “They saw that?” “Dad did. He was concerned people might get the wrong idea.” Noah snorted. “Any other time than yesterday, he might have been right.” There was a pause, and then he said, “You’re handling their rejection better than I expected.” Tommy was silent for a minute. “I don’t think I have handled it yet,” he admitted honestly. “I’m just kinda numb. It’s all too much.” And you’re not here. As if Noah had read his mind, he said, “I should be there for you.” “You can’t be in two places at once. Your friends need you more. I’ve got a whole ranch of people wanting to hug me now.” Noah laughed. “Getting a bit overwhelming, is it?” “A bit.” Every time he turned around, there was someone wanting to clap him on the back or hug him. They all knew what had happened with his parents. Gossip spread fast, it seemed. Everyone wanted to let Tommy know that they were there if he needed to talk. Even old Bud, who was the loudest redneck Tommy had ever met, had cornered him in the barn to offer his support. It was starting to freak Tommy out. “They’ll calm down soon, but I’m glad you’re okay. I should have told you to wait for me to come back,” Noah said. “No.” That was one thing Tommy was completely sure about. “I had to do this for myself.”

Complete Faith

55

“I’m proud of you, Tommy.” Perhaps Tommy should have been offended at Noah’s almost fatherly tone, but he didn’t have time because the next minute Noah’s voice dropped several octaves, and that tone was nothing like his father. That one was aimed straight at his dick. “When I get back, I’ll show you just how proud I am.” Tommy swallowed audibly, and there was a low chuckle in his ear. “Heck, I want to make love to you.” “Noah….” Tommy was unable to carry on. It was the first time Noah had ever been so open with him. “I want that too,” he admitted. And he did. God help him, he wanted Noah in every way that Tommy’s admittedly limited imagination could have him. He didn’t have time to say any more because there were muffled voices and he heard Noah saying, “Coming.” There was a brief pause as he listened to the muted conversation, and then Noah said, “I’ve got to go, Tommy. Brandon needs me.” Holding back a sigh, Tommy said, “You go. Call me if you want to talk.” “I’ll call you tomorrow, and every day if you don’t think that’s too much.” Noah sounded hesitant, as if he was concerned he might be pushing Tommy too far. Grinning like a loon, Tommy said, “Looking forward to it. I hope Kevin’s okay.” “Me too, cowboy, me too.” For a few minutes after Tommy disconnected the call, he held his phone to his ear as if he was still connected to Noah. The brief call left him feeling a lot happier than when he had started. It didn’t matter that Noah was several hundred miles away. He wanted to talk to Tommy on a regular basis, and that was all that mattered. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough as far as Tommy was concerned. The less-than-dulcet tones of Chuck demanding that he move his boots from the doorway failed to quash Tommy’s happy mood, and he left his bedroom to do as he was asked before the deputy ranch foreman blew a gasket.

56

Sue Brown Chapter Eight

IF TOMMY had thought about it a little more, he would have known that the euphoric feeling following his conversation with Noah was going to go into free fall when he faced up to the situation with his parents. Gary and Evelyn were not the type of people that would leave an unsatisfactory situation alone. And their son was no exception. It was late Tuesday when Tommy rolled into the yard, the back of his truck full of provisions for the ranch. His heart sank when he saw his mother’s small sedan parked neatly to one side. He got out of the truck to find a welcoming party of Chuck and Jack. It didn’t take a genius to see how grim they were looking. “I’ll put everything away,” Jack told him, squeezing his shoulder. “Luke wants you in the house.” Tommy couldn’t control the shiver of fear and then was angry at himself for being so weak. “You’ll be fine. Momma’s there, and she’s in a fighting mood,” Chuck said gruffly. That made him smile. Pamela was a feisty woman when she was riled. “Guess I’d better get it over with,” he muttered. “You’ll be fine, son.” Chuck clapped him on the back and went to the back of the truck to help Jack. He could hear the sound of voices coming from the main room. As he approached he could hear his mother saying, “We just feel if he hadn’t come here, then the situation wouldn’t have arisen.” “You mean Tommy wouldn’t think he was a homosexual?” Tommy shivered again. Simon’s voice was icy cold. The boss had a fiery temper, but of the two of them, Simon was scarier when he got

Complete Faith

57

angry. He rarely lost his temper, but when he did, everyone avoided him, including Luke. Hesitating in the hallway, Tommy leaned up against the wall as he heard his father snarl, “Our son only became a faggot when he came to live with you.” “Now, Gary, you know that’s not true.” Momma’s voice was firm, but she seemed to have a grip on her temper. “You were worried about Tommy when he was fifteen. But I thought you got over that nonsense when he came to work on the Lost Cow.” “Just because you accept this… this… sin under your roof, Pamela, doesn’t mean to say the godly folk in this town have to.” Tommy shivered at his mother’s cool tones. A sudden noise in the room startled Tommy, leaving him guilty that he was eavesdropping. “The only thing that I have accepted is that my son has a wonderful husband, and they run a successful ranch together.” “Two men in sinful union is not a marriage. That is blasphemy. A marriage is between a man and a woman.” Tommy had heard enough. It was one thing for his parents to reject him, but he wasn’t going to have their outdated and bigoted views upsetting his bosses, and certainly not Momma. He knocked lightly on the door to the living room. The occupants looked up as he entered. “You wanted to see me, boss?” Tommy said. Ignoring his parents, he nodded at Simon and gave Pamela a respectful “Good evening, Momma.” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his mother’s eyes widen and fill with tears. Luke gave him a grim smile. “Mr. and Mrs. Bradley have asked that your employment on the Lost Cow be terminated. They feel that our influence is doing you harm and you would be better to seek a job on another spread.” “No,” Tommy said swiftly. “No?” Luke quirked an eyebrow. Ignoring his mother’s gasp and the way his father’s face darkened, Tommy continued. “I am twenty-three, not seventeen. They have no influence on where I work or what I do. If you are happy with me….” He paused and looked at the two young men. They both

58

Sue Brown

grinned and nodded. “There is nothing more to discuss. Is that all, boss? I need to feed the chickens.” At Luke’s agreement, Tommy turned to leave the room only to find his way blocked by his father. “Tommy, son, we’re only trying to do what’s best for you.” Looking at the man whom he had both loved and feared most of his life, Tommy was shocked to realize he was taller than his father. Not only that, but years of working on the ranch had packed on muscle, and he was broader, as well. For the first time, he didn’t feel the need to cower, and when he took a step forward, Tommy knew that the realization had struck Gary, as well. Any fear that he’d had left slipped away, leaving not resentment but love for his father, and sadness that he would never truly be accepted. “I know you are,” he said softly, “but you have no control over my life now, and I cannot be what you want me to be. I’m sorry.” He stepped around his father and headed outside, sitting down on the porch step to put on his boots. A hand landed on his shoulder. He looked up to see Luke smiling down at him. “Proud of you, Tommy.” To Tommy’s astonishment, Luke bent down and kissed Tommy full on the mouth. “Let’s go feed the evil little fuckers.” Tommy watched him walk away to the hated chickens. Bemused, Tommy raised his fingers to his mouth. His whole world had just tilted on its axis. He’d stood up to his parents and been kissed by the man he had lusted after from afar since he was old enough to understand the strange feelings coursing through his body. On balance he wasn’t sure which was the more disconcerting.

NOAH called him just as Tommy was rubbing his hair dry. He was sitting on his bed, a towel wrapped around his middle after his evening shower. The call took him by surprise, Noah having called as promised the night before. They’d talked until Tommy was yawning in his ear. He honestly hadn’t expected Noah to call again so soon. “Is it too late?” Noah asked after the first greetings. “I’ve just had a shower.”

Complete Faith

59

There was a long pause. “Are you naked?” Noah sounded really interested. Tommy coughed. “I’m… I’m wearing a towel.” “Anything underneath the towel?” “No.” It was Noah’s turn to cough. “I wish I was there to see,” he said wistfully. “When are you coming back?” Tommy asked just as wistfully. Then, thinking that was a bit selfish, he added, “How is Kevin?” “He woke up today. Only for a minute, and then he fell asleep again, but it was wonderful to see him. Brandon and I burst into tears, and then the nurse came in and she started crying. The doctors must have thought we were nuts.” “Does that mean you might be coming home soon?” Tommy tried hard to keep the longing from his voice—it had only been two days and yet so much had happened. “Hopefully on Friday, if Kevin keeps improving. I don’t want to come home only to have to come straight back up here. Has anything happened with your parents?” Tommy sighed. “They asked the boss to let me go today. I turned up to find them discussing the situation. They blame Luke and Simon for turning me gay.” “Oh, Tommy.” “I told Luke and Simon that I was plenty old enough to make my own decisions and told my dad that he has no control over my life anymore. And then I left, and Luke came out and kissed me.” “That was brave. Wait. Luke did what?” Noah’s voice went from understanding to incredulous. “Luke came out to feed the chickens. I was sitting on the stoop putting boots on. He came out, told me that he was proud of what I did, and kissed me. Then we fed the chickens.” Put that way, Tommy was sure it sounded completely dorky. “Luke kissed you?” Tommy was offended. “Yes. Why? I’m not that ugly.” And he’d been dreaming about it for a decade. Oh God. Luke kissed him. “It was only a brief kiss,” he said hastily.

60

Sue Brown

Noah chuckled. “If Simon had kissed you, Luke would have had his balls.” “You’re not angry at me?” Tommy asked hesitantly. “Not at you, Tommy, maybe at Luke a little. But you tell him he’d better keep his hands and lips off my cowboy from now on.” Tommy flushed as Noah’s voice dropped when he growled out my cowboy. He was still taken by surprise when Noah was overtly sexual. He just didn’t expect it from, well, a man of God. “Noah.” His voice came out on a long low moan. “Hmmm? Why don’t you take the towel off and lay back against the pillows?” “God!” Tommy did as he was told, throwing the towel on the floor and wriggling back against the covers. His skin was clammy and uncomfortable and chilled rapidly, tempting him to slide under the covers. “Just Noah. God’s upstairs. Are you comfortable?” His flush deepened. “Uh, yeah.” “That’s good. I’m in bed as well.” And that was an image he really wanted to see. Noah’s gorgeous skin against the light sheets. Tommy swallowed hard, hearing the man at the other end of the line breathe a little harder. His cock stirred, and he slipped his hand down. “What are you doing?” Noah’s voice was soft and gentle, as if he didn’t want to frighten his inexperienced cowboy. “Cupping my balls.” “Squeeze them. Think about my hand around them.” Doing as he was told, Tommy let out a long, low groan, imagining the feel of his full sac in Noah’s large hands. “Stroke yourself slowly. I want to hear every sound.” Kicking back the covers, Tommy hissed as he wrapped his hand around his dick. He was plenty warm now. “I wanna hear you as well,” he gasped out. “Touch yourself.” “Yes,” Noah agreed, his voice low and growly. “I’m so fuckin’ hard.”

Complete Faith

61

The small part of Tommy’s brain that wasn’t due south of his belly whooped as Noah’s Texan accent got thicker as he became more aroused. He bit down on his lip so hard his mouth was filled with the coppery tang of blood. Balls drawing up hard and tight, Tommy knew he couldn’t hold off much longer. The slap slap of flesh and bitten-off grunts told him that Noah was fast catching up with him. “Gonna come,” Tommy panted, back arching into the feeling. “Do it,” Noah ordered. Tommy had no idea if Noah joined him, too intent on the sensation of his pulsing cock striping his hand and belly. Unable to keep quiet, he shoved a pillow over his face to smother the moan of pleasure. Heavy breathing on the other end of the phone told him Noah had indeed come. His cell tucked under his ear, Tommy listened to Noah’s breathing settle, unwilling to move even as the come dried on his belly. “You’re amazing.” Noah’s voice was rough, his accent still strong as he came down from his orgasm. “So are you,” Tommy whispered, content just to lie on his wrecked bed if it meant he didn’t have to lose this moment. “I should go to sleep.” Noah didn’t sound sleepy. He sounded extremely reluctant to let Tommy go. “I have an early start tomorrow,” Tommy admitted. “Then I’m going to say good night and dream that I’m back with you already.” Just as reluctantly, Tommy said good night and forced himself to sit up. The mess on his belly really was disgusting, and all he wanted was to curl up and sleep. He hunted around for tissues to mop it up. As he slipped back into bed, his phone beeped, indicating a text. He flipped the phone open. Night lover. Tommy grinned and replied. He had a boyfriend. Tommy Bradley had a boyfriend.

62

Sue Brown Chapter Nine

BY

THE time Noah returned on the following Friday, Tommy still

hadn’t spoken to his parents. He knew from a brief conversation with Luke’s momma that Evelyn had not attended any of the Ladies’ meetings held by the church, and he wondered if they had decided to go back to Pastor Tony after all. It would be for the best. Tommy had been on edge all of Friday, distracted by the prospect of seeing the pastor again. After ignoring Chuck’s command to bring in the horses because he was mulling over the previous night’s phone sex, Chuck gave him a disgusted look. “Take the weekend off and return on Monday with your brain north of your dick,” Chuck growled as he stomped off toward the corral. Mortified, Tommy stared after him. Sammy and Jack chuckled as they followed Chuck. “Go get him, tiger,” Sammy shouted over his shoulder. Tommy wanted the ground to swallow him whole. It didn’t oblige. He showered quickly and drove over to St. Mark’s. Noah had called him to say he was on the road, and Tommy wanted to be there when he turned up. Although Noah’s friend was still in critical condition, the doctors were hopeful he would pull through. Noah had agreed to return if there was any change in his condition. It was nearly eight o’clock when he arrived at Noah’s house on the church grounds. He felt along the lintel for the spare key, grinning when he felt the outline of the metal. The house was cold when he entered, and he headed straight for the thermostat. After turning the

Complete Faith

63

heat on, Tommy started cooking supper for them both. Supper was limited to heating up one of Pamela’s lasagnas, but Tommy didn’t think Noah would be fussy after a long drive. Approaching nine, he heard the crunch of tires on gravel. Tommy’s palms started to sweat, but he took a deep breath and walked to the front door, flicking the switch to the outside light so that the pastor could see what he was doing. A blast of cold air made Tommy shiver as he opened the front door. Noah was getting something out of his truck. Tommy caught sight of how tired he looked, and the welcoming smile froze on his face. However, the grin that spread across his face the moment he caught sight of Tommy on his doorstep loosened the worry that had been lodged in Tommy’s guts. It took four steps up onto the porch for Noah to be drawing Tommy into his arms and laying his mouth over Tommy’s. “Hey, how are you?” he said, pulling back to look into Tommy’s eyes. Tommy gave him a shy smile. “Fine,” he mumbled. “You’re a sight for sore eyes,” Noah said. “I hoped you’d be here.” “I’ve got supper ready,” Tommy said, taking Noah’s bag and leading the way back into the house. “I could get used to this,” Noah joked. “Not had the pleasure of a wife looking after me before.” Tommy shot him a glare. “I ain’t no wife,” he growled. “No,” Noah drawled, giving him a long, slow stare up and down. “You most certainly aren’t.” The flush spread over Tommy’s whole body, leaving him tingling. “You hungry?” he asked, trying to change the subject. “Oh yeah,” Noah breathed, but judging by his tone, it wasn’t food he was thinking about. Swallowing hard, Tommy deliberately ignored the flirtatious tone and served up the lasagna, hoping that Noah couldn’t see his hands shaking as he laid the plate in front of him. They didn’t talk much. Tommy didn’t know what to say, and beyond a thank-you for bringing the meal, Noah seemed content to eat.

64

Sue Brown

Tommy could see how weary Noah was in the way his shoulders slumped over the table. As the meal progressed, the nervousness returned. Tommy had come here because he wanted to see Noah and because now he had told his parents, there was no barrier to them being together. But what if Noah had changed his mind? What if he was only being polite? “I’m glad you’re here,” Noah said, cutting across Tommy’s increasingly panicked thoughts. “You are?” Tommy asked uncertainly. Noah gave him a weary smile. “Sitting beside Kevin’s bed, not knowing if he’d ever wake up, was so scary. Brandon was a total wreck. If it hadn’t been for me knowing you were here, it would have been so much worse.” He slid his hand across the table to hold Tommy’s. “I’m exhausted and probably not gonna say this right, but would you come to bed with me—just to sleep? I want you, and I want us to fuck, but I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.” Disappointed and really relieved, Tommy nodded. He started collecting the plates and transferring the uneaten lasagna to another plate and covering it with wrap. “The plates can wait until tomorrow,” Noah said, coming up behind Tommy to slide his arms around him. Hesitantly Tommy leaned back into his warmth. Noah made a soft noise and buried his head in Tommy’s hair. “Come to bed with me?” It was a question. Tommy was aware that if he said no, Noah wouldn’t force the issue, but he let Noah lead him up the staircase to the bedroom. In the bedroom, Noah switched on a small lamp on the nightstand. Aside from a quick glance around, Tommy couldn’t focus on anything except the tenderness in Noah’s eyes. “Do you need something to sleep in?” Noah asked. Tommy panicked; he normally wore his boxers. Did Noah expect him to have pajamas? “I don’t normally… I mean….” “Oh good, neither do I.” Noah stripped off his clothes and dropped them on the wooden chair. He grimaced briefly, saying, “I really need a shower.” Tommy was transfixed as Noah stripped down unselfconsciously, finally tugging off his white boxer-briefs to stand

Complete Faith

65

naked. He caught Tommy’s expression. “Is this too much for you?” he asked gently. Swallowing down the panic before it got the better of him, Tommy shook his head and started undoing his shirt buttons, but his hands were shaking so badly he found it hard to slip the button through the hole. Noah closed his hands around Tommy’s and guided his fingers through the small process, repeating the process until Noah could slip Tommy’s shirt off his shoulders. “So gorgeous.” Noah’s voice was warm and rich, and Tommy’s toes curled in his boots. “I’m not gorgeous,” Tommy said. “I’m ginger and covered in freckles.” “Creamy skin over tight muscles. Believe me, darlin’, you’re gorgeous.” Tommy shook his head. Luke was gorgeous. Noah was outstanding. Tommy was ginger and freckly. “You get undressed and into bed, and I’ll have my shower,” Noah said, dropping a light kiss on the end of Tommy’s nose. Stunned, Tommy watched him leave the room. He stood there, half undressed as he listened to the shower, imagining the water running over Noah’s warm dark body. It was only when he heard the water stop that Tommy came to, hurriedly sitting down on the bed to take off his boots and then stripping off his pants and boxers. He slipped under the covers, wondering which side to stay on. Since the nightstand was on the left-hand side, he rolled over so he was on the right. Noah walked back into the bedroom, a towel slung around his waist. For a man who didn’t spend his days in the fields, he was remarkably slim. He wasn’t muscled like Tommy. Noah was built like a runner. Tommy couldn’t suppress the twitch of his cock at the sight of Noah’s naked body. Slinging the towel on the floor, Noah climbed into bed beside Tommy. “Are you all right?” he asked. At Tommy’s nod, he turned off the light and settled down. Tommy waited for Noah to touch him, but he didn’t make a move. Eventually Tommy mumbled, “G’night.”

66

Sue Brown

“Night, Tommy. Is it okay for me to hold you?” Noah asked into the darkness. “Yes.” Tommy didn’t care how eager he sounded. Noah sighed and wrapped himself around Tommy and kissed the back of his neck. Snuggling back into Noah’s embrace, Tommy closed his eyes. This was the first time Tommy had ever shared a man’s bed, slept in a man’s arms. It was hard to relax as he struggled against his upbringing, the disgust of his parents warring with the feelssoright of being in Noah’s arms. Noah’s warmth soaked into Tommy, helping to bleed away the tension in Tommy’s muscles. Tommy could feel the light hair on Noah’s legs rubbing against his own, the friction making him shiver. “I’m glad you’re here,” Noah murmured into Tommy’s shoulder. “I’m glad it’s you,” Tommy whispered. That was God’s honest truth. He couldn’t be in safer hands than the man holding him. Noah’s arms tightened a little. “Go to sleep,” he ordered. “We’ll talk in the morning.” Tommy did as he was told, letting Noah’s warmth surround him and sinking into a deep slumber. There would be time enough later to panic about what he was doing.

HE WAS awakened by a soft snort in his ear, followed by a snuffling sound that Tommy couldn’t place. Tommy’s first reaction was to think he had fallen asleep in the stables and one of the horses was trying to nudge him awake. Then he became aware of how restrained his movements were and wondered if he had gotten tangled in some tack. He would have to tidy that up quickly because Simon would be furious to see equipment lying around. Lost Cow’s foreman was hot on things being put away in their place. It smelled a lot better than the stables, though, and he was laying on something a mite softer than the prickly straw they used for bedding. Forcing his eyes open, Tommy looked down to see that he was in bed, although not his own, and the restraints were flesh rather than leather. He was pinned by an arm and a leg, and if he wasn’t much

Complete Faith

67

mistaken, they were attached to the furnace that was currently beating against his back. He was in bed with someone. With a man. In his bed. Now seemed a really good time to panic. “Morning,” a sleepy voice said over his shoulder. “Uh… morning.” Tommy’s voice squeaked when he was nervous. “You’re not going to run away, are you?” Tommy wasn’t sure. Did he have to make a decision now? “Uh….” He felt the huff of breath against his skin as Noah sighed, and then he was being rolled over onto his back. Before Tommy had a chance to react, Noah had settled between his legs and was kissing him, a long slow kiss that was melting Tommy’s brain and not giving his fear a chance to take over. This was an unfair tactic. He couldn’t think straight with Noah’s tongue exploring his mouth and Noah’s hard dick trapped against his own. Tommy’s panic retired from the battlefield with sulky grace. After a while—a long while—Noah raised his head. “Feeling better?” he asked, his eyes twinkling. Tommy nodded and pulled him back down for another kiss. Noah obliged willingly, and they kissed for what seemed like hours, soft, wet, sloppy kisses that just kept going until Tommy was unconsciously thrusting up against Noah’s body, wanting more than just a meeting of their mouths. It took a few minutes for Noah to pull back, and when he did, it seemed to be with great reluctance. “Do you want to keep going?” he asked. “We don’t have to do anything today.” “Yes, we do,” Tommy said with utmost certainty. He appreciated the offer, but as nervous as he was, he wasn’t waiting a moment longer. Sitting back on his heels, Noah smiled down at Tommy, his white teeth gleaming against his dark skin. Tommy stared openly, in awe at the sight of the man. Any doubts he had about whether Noah really wanted him vanished as Tommy gazed at his prick, erect and proud against his stomach. He followed Noah’s gaze. He was fixed on Tommy’s dick, hard and leaking against his belly. Noah licked his lips,

68

Sue Brown

the action making Tommy’s cock twitch. Noah caught it and smirked, his finger tracing a path up the rigid shaft to catch the drop of pre-come resting in the slit. Breathless, Tommy watched him, unable to bite back the moan as Noah collected the drop with his fingertip and put it to his own lips, his tongue sweeping out to collect the taste. Sliding down the bed, Noah arranged himself so that he was face to dick, in easy reach of Tommy’s cock. Tommy watched in breathless anticipation of his first blowjob. Poised over Tommy’s body, Noah looked up at him. “Are you sure?” Tommy nodded, hoping Noah would see the way Tommy was spreading his legs wider as an encouraging gesture. “You… just, you’re beautiful,” Noah mumbled and licked a long stripe up Tommy’s cock. Tommy had dreamt about his first time. He had thought that it would probably be in some back alley somewhere, a painful, fumbled fuck to relieve him of a worrisome burden. He had never thought that he would be in bed with a man like Noah, someone who cared enough about Tommy to make it right. Tommy wanted to watch Noah go down on him, but the first feel of Noah’s mouth around the head of his cock had Tommy’s eyes rolling back in his head. “Oh fuck,” he breathed out, for once not thinking about a rap across his knuckles. “Good?” Noah asked. He sounded breathless. “More than good. Oh my God, Noah!” Tommy’s back arched as he felt Noah slide down his shaft. Noah made an amused humming noise, his throat muscles fluttering around the tip of Tommy’s cock, and then he pulled off with a wet pop. He looked up at Tommy, his mouth puffy and wet. “There’s lube and condoms in the nightstand. Can I fuck you?” It took a minute for Tommy to process the request. Then he curled his hand around Noah’s jaw. “Yeah,” he said, completely sure that was what he wanted. Noah sat up and reached over Tommy to get the bottle and foil packets from the drawer. The expression on Tommy’s face must have been easy to read because Noah said, “I’m clean, but you don’t take

Complete Faith

69

anything on trust, okay? We’ll get tested together, and then we can get rid of the rubbers.” He bent down and licked the thin trail of red hairs down Tommy’s belly to the curls surrounding his cock. It was the snick of the lube bottle that made Tommy tense up. It was going to happen finally. He watched Noah rub slick between his fingers before pressing one finger against Tommy’s hole. Tommy couldn’t hide the flinch as he felt the pressure against the ring of muscle. “It’s okay, baby, sshh,” Noah soothed, laying his other hand on Tommy’s thigh. “We’ll go slow.” He pressed the tip of one finger in gently. It took all of Tommy’s willpower not to pull away. He concentrated on the feel of Noah between his thighs. The finger in his ass felt strange and alien, and he wasn’t sure he liked it. Noah seemed content to wait for Tommy to relax as he stroked Tommy’s trembling thigh muscles. After a minute Tommy felt the need to get more of that finger inside him, and he pushed down to encourage Noah to move. He let out a sigh of relief when Noah pressed in further, only to mutter a sharp protest when Noah withdrew his finger. “Easy, easy,” Noah murmured, pressing back in with two fingers. Oh, that burned, and Tommy wasn’t sure he liked it at all, but this time he knew the feeling would fade away to leave pleasure. When he’d caught his breath, Noah moved his fingers slightly, and fireworks exploded behind Tommy’s eyes. He cried out, his fingernails digging into the sheets as he raised his hips. His eyes flew open, automatically seeking Noah. “Okay, baby?” Noah asked. “That was”—Tommy swallowed—“more than okay.” He demanded, “Again.” Noah chuckled, pumping his fingers in and out of Tommy’s ass, brushing occasionally against that spot that sent Tommy leaping off the bed. Now Tommy was panting from the need for more, and he was quick to vocalize what he wanted. This seemed to please Noah no end, encouraging him to make noise.

70

Sue Brown

“I want you in me now,” Tommy insisted, his fingers curling around Noah’s biceps. “One more finger,” Noah said, dripping more lube over his fingers. “Now!” Tommy growled. It was meant to be a growl, although it sounded more like a whine of frustration. He caught his breath against the burn of the third finger, but this time Tommy was impatient. He fucking needed Noah’s dick inside him before he exploded. Then Noah was pressing Tommy back against the sheets, withdrawing his fingers to reach for the neglected condoms. Tommy keened at the loss, but then Noah was pressing in and Tommy was desperately trying to breathe as he was filled up by Noah’s thick cock. “Wait,” he gasped out. Noah stilled obediently. “There’s no rush, baby,” he said, although the strain in his voice belied his patient words. Tommy sucked in a deep breath, waiting for his body to accept the feel of Noah inside him. “You can move now.” He arched his back, wriggling his hips in encouragement. It drove Noah deeper inside him, making them both gasp. “You’re so tight,” Noah panted, thrusting in harder. Tommy moaned loudly as Noah filled him to the hilt. His hands came up to clutch at Noah behind his neck. He pulled Noah down, their teeth clashing noisily as they kissed, small moans captured by their mouths. Noah thrust into him, and Tommy’s body welcomed him. He did it again, and this time Tommy pulled his mouth away to groan out loud. “Like that,” Noah gasped out. “Like hearing you make noise.” He sat up, and the new position sent sparks shooting behind Tommy’s eyes. Noah smirked at him. “Just there,” he said, hooking Tommy’s legs over his arms and thrusting in again. He brushed Tommy’s prostate, sending him writhing on Noah’s prick. Any control Tommy had had vanished at the first touch of his sweet spot. He was left just a mass of swirling nerves desperate to find some release. Noah didn’t seem much better. The gentleness and patience he had displayed earlier vanished as he pounded into Tommy, chasing his own climax.

Complete Faith

71

They came together, Tommy finally able to achieve his release with the touch of Noah’s fingers wrapped around his cock. As thick white ropes coated Noah’s fingers and his stomach, Tommy felt Noah’s own orgasm, his body shuddering into Tommy’s as he came with a shout. Dazed and covered in cooling come, Tommy lay back on the bed, Noah collapsed in an untidy sprawl next to him. Every part of his mind and body seemed to have taken a sudden vacation because he couldn’t process a single clear thought except “Damn!”

72

Sue Brown Chapter Ten

EVENTUALLY Noah raised his head. “You okay, babe?” he asked, his voice hoarse and weary. Tommy tried to speak but didn’t manage anything coherent. He nodded, hoping that would do. It seemed to because Noah laid his head back down, his hair tickling Tommy’s side. The sliver of winter sun through the crack in the bedroom drapes had traveled across the bed before either of them moved again. It was Tommy that spoke first. “I had no idea it would be like that.” “I’ve never, ever experienced that,” Noah said. “Not with anyone. It was like….” He trailed off. “Earthquakes,” Tommy supplied. “Earthquakes,” Noah agreed, “and that was just the first time. Not sure we’re gonna survive if it gets even more amazing.” Tommy smiled to himself. “I know one couple.” Noah leaned over and kissed Tommy’s mouth. “Yeah, it works for them, doesn’t it? Maybe we’ll survive the outstanding sex.” Trailing a path around the sticky mess on Tommy’s body, he looked at Tommy anxiously. “It wasn’t too much for you? Did I hurt you? I know I was kinda rough toward the end. I was gonna be gentle with you, but I just lost control.” “It was amazing,” Tommy assured him, crooking an arm around Noah’s neck to hold him in place for more kisses. “I’ve dreamt about being fucked but never, ever thought it would be like that. Was I too noisy?”

Complete Faith

73

Noah gave him a wicked smirk. “You could never be too noisy, but I’m glad I don’t have any close neighbors.” He chuckled at the blush spreading up Tommy’s neck. Tommy closed his eyes in embarrassment. “I couldn’t control myself.” “That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’ve never been with anyone so into it, and certainly never with anyone who hadn’t had sex before.” “Have you been with many guys?” Tommy asked, worried despite Noah’s assurances to the contrary. Noah kissed him again before answering, a long kiss that really gave the reassurance Tommy was seeking. “A few, not a lot. There wasn’t an opportunity at home, and Bible college is not the place for an openly gay guy.” “I always thought I’d meet someone at a club, but I was never brave enough to go to one, even when Luke invited me to go out with him and Simon,” Tommy admitted. “It must have been hard living with them at times.” Tommy wanted to hide away from Noah’s shrewd look, but he owed it to the man to be honest and look him in the eye. “It was. I never thought I could have anything as perfect as their love, and I had my own feelings to deal with.” He received a kiss on the lips and “I’m glad you waited,” before Noah rolled them both over so that they were on their sides, arms and legs entangled. Burying his head in Noah’s neck, Tommy inhaled the sweaty scent of his lover and yawned. His lover. Noah wrapped his arms around Tommy, holding him close against his chest. Tommy was worried about crushing Noah, but the man didn’t look like he was going to let go of Tommy anytime soon. Tommy dozed off like that, lulled by the rise and fall of Noah’s chest.

TOMMY woke up still entangled in Noah’s arms, but this time he didn’t feel the need to panic, and when Noah slid down the bed to suck him off, Tommy felt a wave of joy and satisfaction sweep through him.

74

Sue Brown

Afterward he sprawled on the bed, sated and wobbly, until Noah came back in with two cups of coffee. Noah placed the coffee on the nightstand and climbed back onto the bed, snuggling down next to Tommy. “Good afternoon to you,” Noah said, leaning over for a kiss. Tommy nuzzled into him, pulling Noah over him for more kisses. Noah was missing out on an orgasm, and Tommy decided he was just the man to do something about it. He slid his hand down Noah’s flat stomach and wrapped it around Noah’s soft cock, grinning as Noah sucked in a deep breath. “Good?” he asked unnecessarily. “Good,” Noah agreed, spreading his legs wider. Despite the fact that he’d just come, his cock twitched as he felt Noah’s prick thicken in his hand. It was a beautiful prick, dark and long, and Tommy’s mouth watered at the thought of sucking it. He wasn’t sure exactly what to do; his experience was almost nonexistent after all, both giving and receiving. But he knew Noah would guide him through. Sure enough, as Tommy slid down the bed in preparation for giving his first blowjob, Noah’s hands cupped his head. “Just lick and suck on the head. Don’t try and deep-throat me.” Tommy was relieved. The one thing he did know was that he had a gag reflex. Bending over, he licked the head to capture the first drop of pre-come rolling down the flared head. The bittersweet flavor burst over his taste buds. He licked again, exploring the slit, and Noah murmured approvingly, pushing through Tommy’s hair. Tommy cupped Noah’s furred balls, feeling the weight of them, the sac tighter compared to his own. “Lick them too,” Noah encouraged, guiding Tommy’s head where he wanted it. Tommy did as he was asked, exploring them first with his tongue and then sucking them into his mouth, first one and then the other. It was strange but a complete turn-on, seeing Noah writhe beneath him. Taking his time, Tommy spread Noah’s legs wider to explore the thin skin under his sac. He watched and listened to Noah’s reactions, pleased when the fingers in his hair clasped tighter in response to his

Complete Faith

75

actions. Tommy wanted to take it further, to rim Noah’s ass, but he wasn’t ready for that. But the time would come. Instead he concentrated on Noah’s neglected dick, following the large vein from root to tip with his tongue. Noah groaned in appreciation, swearing loudly as Tommy swept his tongue around the glans. “Hell, you’re perfect,” he babbled, filling Tommy with relief. Lapping at the head again, Tommy sank his mouth as far as he could go without gagging and sucked lightly. From the loud noises, Noah didn’t mind at all, and he seemed even happier when Tommy sucked harder, using his hands to take care of the neglected base of Noah’s cock. Tommy’s jaw was starting to ache, but he was determined to see it through because he wanted Noah to come in his mouth. Hoping Noah wouldn’t be upset, he backed off for a moment, looking at Noah’s face as he jacked him hard. Noah’s eyes were rolled back in his head and his lips were moving, but no sound was coming out. Tommy was sure Noah was lost in his own world. Grinning and needing to taste Noah again, Tommy rubbed his cheek along the length of his shaft, reveling in the musky smell, and then sank as far as he could go, using his tongue to taste and torment Noah until Noah was clutching painfully at his hair. Noah’s orgasm took him by surprise, filling his mouth with creamy, bitter liquid that he struggled to swallow. Before Tommy had managed it, Noah was tugging him up and kissing him, licking out the taste of himself. “You’re amazing,” Noah declared. Tommy grinned at him, filled with smug contentment and his jaw aching. “You’re amazing and perfect, and I want to do that again.” Groaning loudly in protest, Noah lay back on the bed. “I think I’ll need breakfast first. Damn, the coffee. Is it cold?” Tommy looked over at the forgotten cups on the nightstand. He touched the outside of one of the cups. “It feels warm.” Sitting up, he picked them up and looked at Noah. “Which one is yours?” Noah held his hand out for the green cup. “That one’s mine.” He took a sip and pulled a face. “I suppose it’s not too bad.” Quickly drinking the tepid coffee, Noah pulled Tommy out of bed and led him to the shower. “Let’s get clean. Then I’ll make some breakfast.” He laughed as Tommy’s stomach growled in appreciation at the idea of being fed. “Well, come on, then.”

76

Sue Brown

The shower took a little longer than anticipated. Hey, there was skin to explore and parts to clean. By the time Noah’s lips had been over his chest at least twice, Tommy’s knees were weak. As they got dressed, Tommy couldn’t help staring at Noah. The pastor looked up, a mixture of amusement and concern on his face. “Are you all right?” he asked. Tommy swallowed and nodded. It wasn’t a freak-out so much as a realization that he was here, in Noah’s bedroom, and they’d had mind-blowing sex. And it was okay, more than okay. Whatever shit was about to happen, this was real, and it was right. “Tommy?” He looked up to see Noah standing in front of him. “Are you okay, Tommy?” Noah asked, his voice low and gentle as if he were talking to a nervous foal. Tommy had heard Luke use that exact same tone on Lulu’s filly. Pulling Noah’s head down for a kiss, Tommy said, “I’m fine. I just had the realization that this was it, where I wanted to be. I’m more than fine. I’m happy.” And he was. The restless unhappiness that had been building for years had gone in one simple experience of what he really was: a gay man. The problems were still there. His mom and dad weren’t going to back down so easy, and Lord knew just how much hassle he was going to get in town, but at least he wasn’t hiding anymore. Noah’s face softened, and he kissed Tommy on the mouth. “I’m glad. Now let’s get this breakfast before we pass out from hunger. I’m amazed no one’s come a-knocking on my door yet.” Tommy flushed as he said, “I called Ray and told him I was coming over to see you.” “Ah, no wonder. If anyone would have knocked, it would have been Ray.” A thought occurred to Tommy. Ray was gay and, as far as Tommy knew, single. Tommy guessed Ray was around thirty. He looked like a cowboy but was actually an elementary school teacher. “Did you two…. Have you ever?”

Complete Faith

77

“Ever what?” Noah looked knowingly at Tommy. “Fucked?” At Tommy’s nod, Noah shook his head. “I’m not Ray’s type. He likes much older men. He’s been a good friend to me, though.” Unaccountably relieved, Tommy followed Noah out of the bedroom. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to have a hard time not being jealous of every man that even looked at Noah.

TOMMY’S phone rang just as he was eating the last bite of bacon. “Hey, Tommy?” Luke’s husky growl filled his ear. “Luke? Is everything all right?” he asked, worried that something had gone wrong. “Everything’s fine. I just wanted to check you are okay and Noah got back last night.” “He’s being nosy!” Tommy heard Chuck yell somewhere in the distance. There was a gale of laughter at the other end. “I’m not being nosy,” Luke protested. “I’m being concerned. It’s not the same thing.” There was a noise and what sounded like a scuffle at the other end of the line, and then Simon said, “Don’t believe that for a minute, Tommy. He wanted to call you at six o’clock this morning.” “Give me that! Ignore them, Tommy. They’re all liars, every one of them,” Luke snapped. Tommy waited until the hysterical laughter had died down before he said, “I’m fine, boss. Noah got back okay, and yes, everything else….” He hoped that was meaningful enough. “… was fine too.” “That’s great.” Luke’s voice softened. “See you late Sunday.” “Bye, boss.” Noah’s lips twitched. “Checking up on you?” “Something like that,” Tommy agreed. He knew his face was red yet again. “It was to be expected. Those boys are very protective of their own.”

78

Sue Brown

“They’re nosy bastards,” Tommy corrected. “That too, but they care about you a great deal.” Noah poured another cup of coffee for them both. “All the Lost Cow’s boys have made it their business to tell me what will happen if I don’t look after you, and I won’t tell you what Momma said she would do to me if I hurt you.” Tommy groaned. “Seriously?” He would have to tell them all to back off. It was one thing to look out for him but quite another to threaten his man. His man. Tommy almost giggled. “Seriously. Each one of them asked me my intentions. Of course”—Noah’s voice dropped as he gave Tommy a wicked smirk— “I only told Luke what my actual intention was.” Tommy’s stomach rolled over several times before finally coming to rest somewhere near where it should be. “Should I ask?” Noah shook his head. “Why don’t you just find out?” Oh heck yes. Tommy was looking forward to that. His hand trembling, Tommy sipped at his coffee, trying to act calm while his inner teenage girl was frantically spelling out N-O-A-H with her pompoms. “I am going to have to work this weekend,” Noah said, his voice apologetic. Stupidly, that hadn’t occurred to Tommy. “That’s okay,” he said, trying to mask the disappointment he was feeling. “I’ll go home in a minute.” “Don’t go,” Noah said immediately. “I’m only checking up on a few things. I’d like you to stay.” He rested his hand over Tommy’s on the table. “If you want me to,” Tommy agreed, a little breathlessly. “I want,” Noah confirmed. “I’ve got to go over to the church now. Do you want to come with me?” “I’d like that.” After finishing his coffee, Tommy walked over to the church, his hand firmly resting in Noah’s. It was kind of surreal, really.

Complete Faith

79 Chapter Eleven

NOAH received a phone call late that night. Reluctantly, he untangled himself from Tommy to answer the cell. Noah’s face fell as he looked at the screen. “It’s Brandon,” Noah said as he pressed the button. “Brandon? What’s happened? Are you okay? How’s Kevin?” He paused in his list of questions. “He what? When?” His heart sinking, Tommy listened to Noah’s exclamations. He’d been hoping this weekend would just be the two of them, but it was looking less and less likely. Noah was taking tomorrow’s service, and then he’d probably be driving back to help his friends. It occurred to Tommy that he would have to get used to this in a relationship with a pastor. Noah’s time would be taken up by his pastoral concerns. Saying good-bye to Brandon, Noah suddenly moved, straddling Tommy’s legs and grinning down at him. “They caught the asswipes who pushed Kevin and Brandon off the road. It was some kids who thought it’d be fun to play chicken with the queers. The sheriff is pushing for maximum penalty for all the kids in the car. Brandon says the sheriff is new, and he definitely isn’t one of the good ol’ boys. It doesn’t matter how important the kids’ parents are. They’re gonna be punished.” Tommy swallowed hard. “Really? So Kevin’s okay?” “He’s doing better. It’s gonna take time for him to recover fully.” “Are you going back up there?” Tommy asked. Noah looked down at Tommy’s fingers fisted in his T-shirt. He patted Tommy’s hand. “You can let go, Tommy, I’m not going today. Probably later in the week just for an overnight trip.”

80

Sue Brown

Guilty of letting his breath out in relief, Tommy let go of Noah’s shirt, trying to smooth down the creases. Noah smirked at his action. “This weekend is for us. I know I have to take the service tomorrow, but I managed to think about the sermon on the way home.” He wrapped his hand around Tommy’s neck, tugging on him until their lips met. Neither of them had shaved that day, and Tommy relished the scrape of stubble across his chin. Noah didn’t seem to want to talk, his mouth far more occupied exploring Tommy’s. They had been watching a movie, but Noah was far more invested in devouring Tommy’s mouth. Tommy whimpered, the sound captured by Noah’s lips. Tommy’s fingers curled around the hem of Noah’s T-shirt again, his knuckles scraping against Noah’s warm skin. It made Noah hiss, and Tommy reveled in the fact that he had made Noah react. Tommy’s dick was hard again, straining painfully against his jeans, and there was an answering rigid length pressing against him as Noah pressed his body into Tommy, small thrusts leaving Tommy in no doubt as to what he wanted. Making an impatient noise, Noah pulled back to look down at Tommy with wide, dark eyes. “Need to blow you, Tommy. Need it so bad.” Unable to formulate the response, Tommy stared up at him, unconsciously licking his lips. Obviously taking the action as an affirmative, Noah gave an honest-to-goodness growl and climbed off Tommy to kneel between his legs. Fumbling at his fly, Tommy found his fingers were pushed away, Noah’s fingers quickly unbuttoning his fly to expose Tommy’s erection, already glistening with pre-come. “Love your cock.” Noah growled again, the sound making Tommy’s cock twitch. Breathless, Tommy watched as Noah licked his own lips before bending down to lick at the head. “Ungh!” Tommy’s eyes rolled back as Noah wasted no time in swallowing his cock. This wasn’t going to be a long-drawn-out session; Tommy was too far gone, and Noah was too desperate before they even started. He alternated deep suction with his tongue swirling around the glans. Tommy didn’t have time to get used to one rhythm before Noah started somewhere else. His balls screaming for their release, Tommy thrust

Complete Faith

81

hard into Noah’s mouth. Noah’s arm clamped across Tommy’s belly, holding him down. “Gotta come, Noah, please. Need to fuck your mouth.” Tommy wasn’t above begging if that would get him what he needed. “Do it!” Noah ordered, and Tommy didn’t need to be told twice. He thrust up into Noah’s mouth, feeling the tip of his cock brush against the back of Noah’s throat. His thrusts were tentative until Noah pulled back, saying, “Just do it. Use me.” Tommy swallowed hard and thrust again, kept pumping his hips up into Noah’s mouth until he was sweating hard, and Noah took it all and demanded more. Tommy’s eyes were screwed tight shut as he focused on the feel of Noah’s greedy throat swallowing around his cock. It was too much, he couldn’t hold back and he didn’t try, halfhunched over as he pumped stream after stream of come into Noah’s mouth. Collapsing back onto the sofa, Tommy gasped for breath. It took him a moment to become aware that Noah was moving. Tommy opened his eyes to see Noah standing over him, his hand resting on the back of the sofa, his own cock out and being jacked frantically. As Tommy watched, Noah stiffened as he climaxed, spurts of come covering Tommy’s face and body. Tommy watched Noah’s tense face, feeling the warm liquid stripe him, muted where it hit his T-shirt. His dark eyes glazed over, Noah sagged, poised precariously above Tommy, his chest heaving as he recovered his breath. Ignoring the mess he was in, Tommy held Noah by the waist and pulled him down to rest against his body. After a while Noah lifted his head and gazed at Tommy. “You are amazing, Tommy Bradley. Do you know that? And we are….” He grimaced. “Completely disgusting.” That was true. Dried semen coated Noah’s cheek, and they were both covered in come. “Another shower?” Tommy asked as he picked at the itchy flakes on his cheeks. Noah nodded, sitting back on his heels. “Another shower and then bed. It’s an early start tomorrow.”

82

Sue Brown

Tommy couldn’t help tensing up at the thought of the service tomorrow, and of course, Noah noticed it. “What’s up,” he asked, stroking his knuckles over Tommy’s cheek. “I told my parents not to come tomorrow. To go back to the old church.” Noah nodded. “What bothers you more, the fact that they might turn up and see us together or that they won’t turn up at all?” “Both of them,” Tommy admitted, chewing on his bottom lip. Tugging gently, Noah freed Tommy’s abused lip, kissing him to stop him from starting again. “We’ll deal with it either way, Tommy. If they turn up, then maybe they’re more open than you think, and if they don’t, well, we’ll deal with that too.” He stroked Tommy’s cheek again. “Let’s have that shower.” Leaning into the caress, Tommy pressed a kiss into Noah’s palm. “Let’s do that.” The shower was a short one, both men too exhausted to do more than wash the come off their bodies. Still damp, they tumbled into Noah’s bed, Noah immediately wrapping himself around Tommy. Tommy gave a contented sigh and burrowed closer to Noah, happy to receive a muttered good-night and a kiss on his shoulder.

FOR a man who had no time to prepare, having been otherwise occupied for the past twenty-four hours, Noah was remarkably laidback about his forthcoming service. Tucking Tommy’s hand in his, he walked over to the church, meeting Ray on the doorstep. Tommy could feel the tension in his body at the public display of affection. It went against his entire upbringing to be open in his affections with a man, and he was waiting for someone to start shouting abuse at him in public as they walked across the yard. He wasn’t aware of how obvious his feelings were until Noah had greeted Ray and left Tommy on the doorstep for a moment. Ray turned to Tommy, gathering him into a hug and whispering, “You’re safe here, I promise.”

Complete Faith

83

Unable to stop the shiver of fear, Tommy did his best to return the hug, but he was aware it was a poor effort. Ray just patted his back as he let him go. “It gets easier, I promise. You learn where you’re safe, and at St. Mark’s you’re the safest you’ll ever be. There’s a whole congregation wanting to look after you… if they can get past Noah.” His eyes flickered to a point over Tommy’s shoulder, but before he could look around, Tommy was enfolded in an embrace that could only be his boyfriend. “No one gets past me. He is mine,” Noah declared, nuzzling into Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy felt himself flush with embarrassment, but Ray just sighed, rolling his eyes. “Jake, welcome. How are you?” Noah didn’t let him go immediately as he greeted his first congregant. Aware that he was probably bright red, Tommy tried to wriggle away. It was one thing being held in front of Ray, but the whole damned congregation? Tommy mentally winced as he imagined the wooden spoon ghosting over his knuckles. To Tommy’s relief, Noah let him go to greet an elderly couple walking up the path. They were, as far as Tommy knew, completely heterosexual, and Tommy still wasn’t sure why they came to St. Mark’s until Ray murmured, “Their son was gay. He was killed in a hate crime three years ago. Since then they’ve been coming here.” “How awful,” Tommy breathed, and for a moment he panicked at his decision to come out, until he saw Luke, Simon, and the boys from the Lost Cow coming toward him. Suddenly he was enfolded in rough hugs and raucous laughter that stopped just shy of obscene. “How are you doing?” It was Simon’s turn, and he was holding on to Tommy’s arms and looking down at Tommy as if he knew exactly what Tommy was thinking. “I’m okay,” Tommy said, and it was the truth. No matter how scared and nervous he was, he was okay and he wasn’t on his own. “We’re here if you need us, okay? Luke and me. Luke’s worse than an old mother hen where his boys are concerned.”

84

Sue Brown

“And you’re any better?” Luke scoffed as he took Simon’s place and hugged Tommy. For a moment Tommy leaned into Luke’s embrace. Simon didn’t bother replying as Luke chuckled. “How is Noah?” Simon asked as he looked over at the pastor. Tommy looked as well, once more taken by just how handsome his boyfriend looked in a plain white shirt that glowed in the earlymorning winter sun. His musings were disturbed by a nudge to the shoulder. “You’re drooling,” Luke informed him. “He’s mine to drool at,” Tommy shot back, knowing for once that it was absolutely true. Noah was his. Well, technically his and God’s, but there were some things God didn’t share. As he was looking, Noah glanced over and caught his gaze. A smile spread across his face. Not the warm, friendly smile Noah had for everyone but the intimate, loving smile he reserved just for Tommy. Tommy felt his bones melt under that smile. “Someone’s got it bad,” Luke singsonged in his ear. Tommy didn’t deny it. He didn’t want to. “Leave him alone,” Simon ordered and dragged Luke away to talk to Pamela and Greg. Then a couple of elderly women he didn’t know but thought he vaguely recognized from the Bible study (ha!) group were hugging him and telling him how delighted they were that Pastor Noah had finally settled down with a nice young man. All in all, it was rather overwhelming. Taking a deep breath, Tommy pasted a smile on his face and went into the church, forcing himself not to look for his parents, although it was obvious they weren’t there. One of the few teenagers at the church, a young gay guy called Lee, was playing what passed for the organ. Like most things at the church, it was old and shabby, but no one seemed to care. Noah had disappeared, and Tommy assumed he was getting ready for the service. Most people had taken their places, and Tommy walked to the front to sit in what was rapidly becoming “his” pew. He supposed officially he was now the pastor’s wife.

Complete Faith

85

Tommy jumped as someone tapped his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Momma Murray looking worried. “Are you all right, Tommy? You groaned as if you were in pain.” “He’s not even in sight,” Luke said, a wicked grin on his face. “Ow!” Luke doubled over as Simon dug an elbow into his ribs. Pamela sighed. “Boys, please. This is church. Could we save the antics until we’re outside?” Luke poked his tongue out at Simon, ignoring his mother’s tsking. The music changed, and Tommy’s eyes snapped to the front. He could hear Luke’s mocking chuckle behind him, but he didn’t care. The only person he had eyes for was Noah, standing up tall and strong at the front. Catching Tommy’s eye, Noah smiled at him, the smile that made Tommy’s bones melt, before he greeted everyone else. Noah thanked everyone for their love and support while he was looking after his friends. After the service, instead of going home with his parents like he had done most Sundays since he’d left home, Tommy hung around, waiting for Noah to finish. It took some time because the pastor always made an effort to talk to everyone and catch up on their news. Tommy spent most of it talking to Lee about coming out. Lee had decided not to hide his sexuality and had paid the price at his school, being tormented from the outset. Lee had been a talented football player until that point. “I still get hassled by the coach and the football team for losing the division,” Lee admitted. Tommy stared at him openmouthed. “They kicked you off the team, yet it’s your fault they lost?” Shrugging, Lee said, “They’re a good team, but I ‘destroyed team morale.’ I told them they shouldn’t have got rid of the best player on the team.” “What did they say to that?” Lee stroked the scar along his cheekbone. “It was more show than tell.”

86

Sue Brown

“And did anyone get kicked off the team for that?” Tommy asked cynically, not surprised when Lee shook his head. “I don’t regret it,” Lee insisted. “Noah’s been real good to me, and I get to play soccer with some of the guys from church. I miss playing on the team, but I don’t miss the hiding. It’s more the adrenaline, the buzz of the game. It was fun, y’know?” Football had never been fun for Tommy. More like years of hell, being bruised by testosterone-fueled idiots. He preferred track. “Are you still in school?” Lee nodded. “It’s my senior year. It’s not so bad. Some friends have stuck by me, and a lot of the girls, which really pisses off the jocks. I was always good to the girls, and they’ve been great in return.” “I admire you,” Tommy said honestly and meant it. This kid was a lot braver than he was. A flush spreading across his cheeks, Lee ducked his head. “I was lucky. My parents are great, and they found this church for me. I know it’s not so easy when you don’t have that support at home.” “No.” Tommy didn’t want to say any more. They were interrupted by Jack and Liz. “We gotta go now. Liz has got a shift this afternoon. See you tomorrow.” “See ya then.” To Tommy’s surprise, Liz leaned forward and kissed his cheek, and Jack clapped him on the back. “We’re going now as well,” Luke said, coming up to where the men were standing. “You don’t need to get back until tomorrow. Jack and Sam will cover the early shift.” Tommy frowned. “Y’ sure, boss? I don’t want to upset anyone.” “It was their suggestion. Bye, Lee.” He gave them a wave and rejoined Simon, who slid his arm around Luke’s shoulders. Lee looked after them wistfully. “I wish….” “I know,” Tommy interrupted, “but don’t bother. Nothing and no one will ever come between those two.” The teenager grinned. “I wouldn’t want it to, but those muscles….” With a shock, Tommy realized it was Simon, not Luke, that Lee was drooling after. Tommy had never really looked at Simon except

Complete Faith

87

enviously as the one person who had what Tommy wanted. He grinned back at Lee. “You like ’em built, then?” Lee nodded enthusiastically. “The bigger, the better.” He was practically salivating at the thought, and Tommy laughed. He jumped as Noah pulled him back against his chest. “Glad to see my favorite man is happy,” Noah said. Tommy went to turn his head for a kiss and stopped, realizing they were in public. Noah had no such inhibitions and captured Tommy’s mouth. By the time he pulled back, Tommy’s eyes were unfocused, and he licked his lips, capturing Noah’s taste. “See you next week.” Lee’s voice broke into Tommy’s reverie. Tommy looked over at the teenager, who was staring at them, color high in his cheeks. “See you next week, Lee. Great playing today.” Mumbling something, Lee walked away quickly. Tommy bit his lip. “Was he bothered by us kissing?” Snorting in his ear, Noah said, “Tommy, he’s gay and a teenager. We just gave him a free show. He probably wants to find somewhere very private now.” “Oh…. Oh!” Tommy couldn’t help the wave of embarrassment that swept over him. Chuckling again, Noah draped an arm around his shoulders, saying, “I’m just about finished here. Shall we go get dinner?” Tommy nodded, following Noah across the yard. He hadn’t even thought about food, he was so used to going to his parents’. His parents. Tommy stopped in his tracks. Confused by Tommy’s abrupt halt, Noah asked, “You okay?” “My parents didn’t show,” Tommy said, trying hard not to let his face and voice reflect how hurt he was feeling. Noah turned and took Tommy’s hand in his, pressing them against his chest. “You told them not to,” he said gently. “I know, but I thought they might change their minds.” Tommy knew how pathetic that sounded. A twenty-three-year-old man dependent on his parents loving and accepting him.

88

Sue Brown

“Gary and Evelyn have to process their own feelings first, Tommy. Give them time, yeah?” “Yeah.” Tommy nodded. He knew that. It just didn’t make it any easier. Trying hard to put a brave face on it, he smiled. “Let’s go and make dinner.” To his surprise, Noah shook his head. “Don’t be silly. I don’t make my dinner. Mrs. Croft brings me a hot Sunday lunch every week.” Tommy wasn’t that surprised. Mrs. Croft adored Noah. “I’m here as well. We could add something to make it up.” “She brought an extra-large portion because you’re a growing boy,” Noah said smugly. “She’s quite right. You grow very nicely, thank you.” “Please tell me you didn’t tell her that,” Tommy begged. Noah pulled him in through the kitchen door. “Didn’t need to,” he announced smugly. “Ah, smell that?” The kitchen was filled with the most delicious smell. “That is Mrs. Croft’s famous beef stew. We dine well today, young padawan.” Tommy looked at him blankly. “Star Wars. A Jedi student.” It didn’t mean a thing to Tommy. Noah sighed. “Much learning you have,” he said, shaking his head. “Not if you’re going to force me to watch Star Wars,” Tommy pointed out. “I’d rather pull out my fingernails.” “Philistine,” Noah grumbled as he reached for the plates. “I’ll learn ya.” Tommy shuddered. “Couldn’t we fuck instead?” Noah looked at him curiously. “Why do you keep doing that? “Doing what?” Tommy asked as he took the plates. “You keep holding on to your knuckles.” It was hard to resist the temptation to cover them again. “My mom used to rap my knuckles with a wooden spoon if she heard me cussing,” Tommy explained as he laid the table.

Complete Faith

89

“It’s one way of making sure you don’t swear,” Noah said. Something about his voice made Tommy look up. “What used to happen to you?” he asked. Noah pulled a face. “My dad liked his belt. We didn’t get it often, but you’d know it when you did.” Tommy made a noncommittal noise as he sat down. He’d sworn to himself as he grew up that no child of his would ever be beaten. Of course, he was unlikely to have kids, but the principle would still apply. “Let’s eat.” Noah broke into the uncomfortable silence by dishing up the stew. Tommy willingly went along with the suggestion.

90

Sue Brown Chapter Twelve

IT WAS hard to leave Noah behind on Monday morning. Tommy left just after eating the breakfast that Noah insisted on cooking, since Tommy was going back to work. Before he left, Tommy took Noah to the couch and, kneeling between his legs, gave Noah a blowjob that left the older man completely incoherent and Tommy very smug. Noah had a lot to catch up on because of his week away, so they agreed to meet up the following weekend if Noah wasn’t called away to Kevin and Brandon and if Tommy could get the time off work. Although the ranch wasn’t very busy, it was unfair to ask for every weekend off, but he knew Luke and Simon liked their Sundays alone on the ranch unless it was a particularly busy weekend. As Tommy went to get into his truck, Noah stopped him for one last kiss. “Thank you,” he murmured into Tommy’s mouth. Knowing they were sheltered from any prying eyes, Tommy wrapped his arms around Noah’s neck, kissing him again until they were both breathless. Eventually he had to go, but it was like a physical ache to leave Noah behind.

ONCE Tommy reached the Lost Cow ranch, he didn’t have much time to think about his love life. Luke’s father was suffering from chest pains, and, ignoring Greg’s protests, Luke had decided to drive him to hospital for a checkup.

Complete Faith

91

Simon rearranged the work schedule in Luke’s absence, and Tommy spent the day moving the herd to fresher grazing. Exhausted from his early start and hard day’s labor, Tommy was walking across the yard when Luke arrived back. It was almost suppertime, and Tommy knew Simon had been fretting at the lack of contact from his partner. He was relieved to see Greg was also in the truck. Tommy watched as Simon bounded out of the house to greet his partner. It was one of those moments that used to give Tommy heartache as he saw Simon gather Luke up into a hug. Now, though, Tommy grinned at their display of affection and thought that after supper, he’d give Noah a call. He was distracted from the thought of his lover by the thunderous expression on Greg’s face as he got out of the truck. As Luke and Simon were still entwined, Tommy walked over to Greg. “You okay, Boss?” “No, I am not,” Greg snapped with a scowl at his son’s back. Tommy saw Luke stiffen, but the man didn’t move away from Simon. “Is everything okay with you, then? The doctors didn’t want to keep you?” Greg glared at him so fiercely, Tommy took a step back. “I told Luke not to worry the doctors. Indigestion. That’s all it was. I told him I was fine.” Luke didn’t even bother turning around as he said, “They also said that it was sensible to have gotten it checked out.” “Indigestion. Gas! We’ve wasted a whole day on gas!” Greg threw his hands up to emphasize his disgust. Knowing that laughing—hell, even cracking a smile—would be the worst thing he could do, Tommy made a noncommittal noise and then made a comment about going to fix supper for the hands. He backed away as quickly as he could, only allowing himself a chuckle when he was safely inside the kitchen of the bunkhouse.

92

Sue Brown

AFTER supper, Tommy called Noah, who answered before the second ring. Tommy grinned at the happy “Hey, Tommy” filling his ear. “Hey,” he answered, relieved in no small way that Noah seemed really happy to hear from him. “I’m sorry, I can’t talk for long. I’ve got to go visit Mrs. McKay soon.” Tommy swallowed his disappointment, adopting a teasing tone. “That’s okay. I bet you she has another sweater just waiting for you.” “Don’t you just know it? I’ll bet it’s in a fetching orange this time. I swear I saw her with some wool last week.” Noah sounded resigned, but Tommy knew that he loved it, really. The only person who hated the sweaters was Noah’s mom, who’d banned him from wearing them anywhere near her. “That woman single-handedly keeps the yarn stores in business around here,” Tommy said. “Don’t forget the knitting circle at St. Mark’s. They are a dedicated group. It was all I could do last year to stop them from knitting me an entire wardrobe,” Noah reminded him. “All your ladies are dedicated to you.” It was true. Noah’s congregation was fiercely passionate about their welcoming and inclusive pastor. Most of them outcasts from their own families and communities, St. Mark’s offered them a sanctuary and a place to worship without judgment. “Many of the knitting group are men,” Noah reminded him. “They want something to do with their hands when they give up smoking.” Tommy tried to imagine himself with a ball of wool, clacking away with some needles. It wasn’t going to happen, he decided. “How’s Greg?” Noah asked, having exhausted the topic of knitting. “He’s fine, just indigestion. How did you hear about it?” “Pamela called Ray earlier today. She was supposed to be helping him with some project or other.” Tommy was shocked. “Some project or other? You mean you don’t know what’s going on in your own church, pastor?”

Complete Faith

93

“Of course I do. I’m just letting them think I don’t. It’s for my birthday. Ray organizes a party every year, and I pretend I don’t know about it.” “When is your birthday?” Tommy realized he had no idea, hadn’t even thought about such small details. “January 22. I’ll be thirty-six.” “An old man,” Tommy teased. “Too old for you?” Noah asked. Tommy could tell by his tone that it was a serious question. “No. Am I too inexperienced for you?” “Never.” Noah chuckled. “At least we’ve got that over and done with.” “What do you want for your birthday?” Tommy had never had to get a present for a boyfriend. “You. So I can unwrap you.” Noah’s cheesy tone made Tommy laugh. “I mean it. I’ve never had to get a present for anyone special.” “I don’t need anything from you, Tom. You gave me the biggest present of all by coming out to your parents.” Swallowing hard, Tommy said, “I don’t think anyone has called me Tom before. My parents called me Tommy, and it’s stuck with me.” “Maybe it’s time Tommy grew up and became the gorgeous Tom.” Tommy shivered at the naked desire in Noah’s voice. “I’m not—” “Yes, you are. You’re tall, built, and your hair….” “What about my hair?” Tommy asked suspiciously. Yeah, he’d grown up with all the ginger jokes, and no, it wasn’t teasing. “Did I ever tell you I have a thing for hair like copper?” “I have freckles,” Tommy said, embarrassed by the praise. “It gives me a path to follow when I’m kissing you,” Noah said, undaunted by Tommy’s embarrassment. “You’ll be kissing me all over if you start kissing my freckles.” “Yeah…,” Noah breathed out, long and earthy. Fuck! Tommy was tingling all over.

94

Sue Brown

“And now I really have to leave, Tom,” Noah said regretfully. “The sweaters won’t wait forever.” Tommy didn’t know whether he was relieved or disappointed. All he knew was he needed to have a long, cold shower.

FEEDING the chickens was a job that Tommy actually enjoyed doing. Unlike Luke, who threatened to turn them into dinner every time he was forced to go near them, Tommy made a habit to spend a few minutes with the chickens every day and had names for all of them. In the early evening, the temperature was too cold to stay out for long, but he greeted Hope and Charity, two spoiled, fat Barnevelders, who were lazily pecking by his feet. Tommy looked up when he heard a chuckle. Noah grinned at him from the other side of the wire. “Do they ever answer you?” Noah asked. Tommy flushed at being caught, but he grinned back. “No, but they’re easy to talk to and don’t judge me.” “Perhaps I should get a couple. They can listen to my sermons and give me breakfast,” Noah suggested as he held open the door of the chicken run. One brave little bantam made a bid to escape, but Noah blocked its passage with one knee. “Harriet, stay there. You’ll only get eaten in the big, wide world.” Tommy chided the little hen, not caring that Noah could hear him. Noah chuckled again. “Did you name them, or did Luke?” The thought of Luke naming the chickens made Tommy laugh. “If Luke named them, they’d be Fucker 1, Fucker 2, That One Bit Me, Scrawny Asshole….” “I get the idea. He’s not keen on them, then?” “No.” Tommy could have gone further and discussed Luke’s almost pathological hatred of the birds, but what he really wanted was to step into his boyfriend’s arms and kiss him senseless. A swift glance around showed him they were on their own, so he did what he wanted to do and hauled Noah into his arms for a kiss. They were about the same

Complete Faith

95

height, although Tommy was stockier and more muscled from his physical job. When Tommy drew back for breath, he had the satisfaction of seeing the glazed look in Noah’s eyes. “Hello to you too,” Noah said hoarsely. His breath steamed out in the chilly evening air. Tommy grinned back, but even with the warmth of Noah’s arms, he shivered. “Shall we go inside?” “Is it warmer than out here?” “If Chuck remembered to put the heat on, then yes. Otherwise we may have to keep our coats on until it heats up. It does have hot chocolate, though, which is always an advantage.” Fortunately Chuck had remembered to put the heat on, and Tommy was blasted by a wave of warm air as he entered the kitchen. Behind him, Noah groaned in pleasure at the warmth. “Hot chocolate?” Tommy asked as he shed his coat and boots. He hung the coat up and placed the boots on the rack to avoid another confrontation with an irate Chuck. Noah did the same thing and joined Tommy by the stove. “Hot chocolate and kisses,” he demanded, kissing Tommy on the lips. “I can do that,” Tommy agreed. He stepped back to pour the milk in the pan before offering his mouth up for another kiss. Tommy decided that kissing while making a hot drink was a perfect way to fill the time. Noah’s face was chilly from the winter air. Tommy rubbed his cheek against Noah’s to warm it up. He was immersed in another kiss when he was interrupted. “Jesus, boy—sorry, pastor—that milk’s gonna boil over.” The scolding and the apology came from Chuck. Tommy raised his head to see the milk was indeed boiling, and he swiftly moved the pan from the heat before the milk could spill over. “Do you want a mug, Chuck?” he asked by way of an apology. He deliberately didn’t catch Noah’s gaze because he knew he was scarlet again. “Please. Pete and Jack are coming in for supper, so you better make one for them as well. Sam’s already gone home.”

96

Sue Brown

Noah sat down at the kitchen table to give Tommy space to make the drinks. Peter and Jack joined them as well. No one seemed bothered by Noah’s presence at the table, and the evening conversation was a mixture of ranch news and gossip. As Tommy watched Noah joining in with the easy chatter, he tried to imagine Pastor Jackson sitting down with them and not taking every opportunity to sermonize. Tommy shook his head. For a start, he couldn’t imagine Pastor Jackson just sitting so easily around their table. He felt a hand on his thigh and glanced over to Noah, who was looking at him with a quizzical expression. “Is something wrong, Tom?” Tommy was sitting next to his boyfriend, with Noah’s hand on his thigh. How could there be anything more right? “I was imagining Pastor Jackson sitting here.” “That old monster is never welcome at this table,” Chuck said, so fiercely it made everyone laugh. Pete gave a laconic “Amen.” The conversation moved on, but Tommy stayed pressed up against Noah, and the pastor didn’t move his hand, a warm, comforting presence on Tommy’s thigh. After Noah had left, saying he had an early start, Tommy sat back down at the kitchen table. Chuck looked up from the crossword puzzle he had just started. “Tom?” “He calls me that, yeah.” “Do you want us to call you Tom from now on?” Tommy thought about it for a moment. “No, I don’t think so. I’m used to Tommy.” “Okay, Tommy.” Chuck went back to his crossword. Tommy took a long swallow of his chocolate. He had a feeling that it had been a defining moment in his relationship with the older hand.

Complete Faith

97 Chapter Thirteen

SINCE the moment Dave Benson had asked Luke not to come back to his store because of the muck peddled by Pastor Jackson and his wife, Luke and Simon had refused to do business with the Bensons or any other store in Parson, preferring instead to order all their supplies on the Internet. Dave and Marilyn had made their apologies after stress brought on Greg’s heart attack by joining the congregation of St. Mark’s, but the two men refused to return the business to the local town. Now, though, the current feed supplier had lost stock in a warehouse fire and was unable to get to the ranch for another week. Luke had spent the morning in the office phoning around feed suppliers, but without success. Like the Lost Cow, many of the local ranches were in the middle of their breeding program, and the demand for extra feed was high. All of the suppliers promised a delivery for the following week. Tommy was in the stable talking to Simon when Luke poked his head around the door. “No luck, Si. Next week is the earliest they can manage to deliver. Are you sure we can’t last until then?” Luke said. Simon huffed out a breath. “It’s pushing it. Can’t we find anywhere to deliver some bags to tide us over? Have you tried Layham’s?” Luke pursed his lips. “No, because I’m not sensible enough to start at the top of the list of suppliers and work my way down. Of course I called Layham’s.” “You could always try Benson’s Feed.” Tommy spoke without thinking.

98

Sue Brown

“That’s true,” Simon agreed. “It’s worth a try.” “No,” Luke said flatly. Sensing the tension between his two bosses, Tommy decided to find something else to do. He muttered some nonsense about the horses and made his way to the barn door. “Tommy’s right. We could always call Benson. They’ve helped us at short notice in the past.” Simon sounded hesitant. “No!” Although Tommy couldn’t see his boss, Luke’s response was hard and implacable. “We may not have a choice,” Simon insisted. “There has to be a choice. We aren’t using Benson’s, and that’s final. It’s my decision where the ranch gets the feed.” Now outside the barn, Tommy flinched at Luke’s attitude, hard and stubborn. If there was going to be an argument, he was glad to be out of there. “Pulling rank, boss?” Simon’s voice was just as cold and hard. Tommy walked away as quickly as he could. The two men would sort it out; they always did. As Tommy headed toward the pasture where the horses were grazing, Sammy rounded the corner on the quad bike. Sammy cut the engine when he saw Tommy. “Have you seen Simon? I need him to look at one of the yearlings.” “He’s in the stable with Luke, but you might not wanna go in there just yet.” Sam frowned. “It’s a bit late for morning report.” All the hands knew that the ranch foreman’s daily report to the boss was a euphemism for fucking the boss over the nearest hard surface. The hands stayed out of the way until morning report was over. It was safer, and the bosses were always in a much better mood when it was complete. “I wish it was the report. They’re having an argument about Benson’s supplying us with feed. Luke’s just pulled rank.” Sammy winced. “I think I’ll stay away, then.”

Complete Faith

99

“Do you want me to have a look at the yearling? What’s the matter?” Tommy asked. “He’s got some discharge around his nose and eyes.” “Shit. Are you thinking BRD?” Bovine respiratory disease, or any form of respiratory disease, was the last thing the ranch needed. Sam got back on the quad bike. “Maybe, but I’d like another opinion before we get the vet out here. I’ve quarantined him from the others and got Jack checking the head.” “I’ll follow you. We can get Chuck to have a look, as well.” Tommy headed toward the barn that stored all the quad bikes and trucks. Simon was anal about all unused equipment being stored away. By the time they had arrived at the sick pen, Pete was there as well. He looked up as they got off the bikes. “Where’s Simon?” “In the middle of an argument with Luke.” Pete grunted. “We’ll leave them to it. He looks healthy apart from some muck around his eyes and nose, and he’s not showing any other symptoms apart from the odd sneeze. Chuck’s gone out with Jack.” “He’s one of Lil’s, isn’t he?” Tommy asked. The Lost Cow had recently starting expanding their operation with the help of a local ranch owner. “Yeah,” Sammy agreed. “None of the others from that head are showing any symptoms, but we’ve isolated them just in case.” “Could be allergies,” Tommy suggested. “Do you remember we had cows that were allergic to fescue?” “Good call, Tommy. There’s fescue in the pasture.” Tommy flushed at Pete’s praise. He was substantially younger than the rest of the hands and often hung back when there was a discussion, afraid of showing his inexperience. “Fescue toxicity is normally a summer problem,” Sam said. “We’d better get Luke and Simon out here anyway.” “I’ll call them,” Pete said, digging in his pants pocket for his phone.

100

Sue Brown

Tommy watched the yearling as Pete made his call. The animal seemed happy enough as it grazed on some hay. “The bosses are on their way,” Pete announced. “How do they sound?” Tommy asked. “Pissed,” Pete said shortly. Tommy sighed. “I’m gonna help Jack and Chuck.” He had the feeling it was going to be a long day, and he’d rather be well away from any confrontation.

THANKFULLY, the yearling wasn’t suffering from BRD, and Taylor Stevens, the vet, agreed it was some form of allergy. None of the rest of the head had similar symptoms, although they were keeping a close eye for any occurrence. Last year’s salt poisoning was still at the forefront of their minds. Tommy was riding the fence on the south side, where all the vandalism had taken place, when he got a call from Simon. “Need you to go into town with Chuck,” the foreman said brusquely. “Sure, boss,” Tommy said automatically, and then he stopped. He hadn’t been into town since he’d come out to his parents. During the problems of the previous year, Luke and Simon had effectively been exiled from the town. It was only after Momma’s accident and Greg’s heart attack that many of the residents had thawed in their attitude toward the bosses of the Lost Cow ranch. If Tommy went into town, he’d be facing people that he had known for years, men he had gone to school with. He knew what they thought about queers. Now he was openly gay, was he about to suffer the same bigoted attitudes that dogged Luke and Simon? “Wouldn’t it be better to send one of the other hands?” he asked hesitantly. “Pete and Sammy are moving Lil’s head to another pasture, and Luke’s got Jack busy elsewhere.” Tommy translated that to mean Simon wasn’t going to ask Luke for squat. He heard Simon sigh.

Complete Faith

101

“Look, get it over with, Tommy. It’s got to happen sometime, and you’re with Chuck. He’ll watch your back.” “Okay.” Tommy didn’t want to do it, but as Simon said, he couldn’t hide on the ranch forever. “What about Benson’s? They gonna serve us?” “Luke called. They got a small amount stored away out back for us, but they can’t get out to deliver it.” Tommy took his hat off and scrubbed at his sweaty hair. “Tell Chuck I’ll be in shortly.” “Thanks.” Simon cut the call. Today was the day, then. Tommy had come out to his parents, the ranch and his fellow churchgoers, and now he had to come out to the rest of the world. Was he ready? Did he have a choice? “Dammit,” he shouted. His horse snickered in alarm. “Sorry, Levi.” Tommy patted Levi’s neck apologetically. The horse tossed his head in response.

CHUCK kept up some undemanding chatter as they drove to town. Tommy appreciated Chuck’s effort, but nerves were getting the better of him. As they pulled up outside Benson’s Feed, Chuck turned to Tommy. “You stick with me, son. Bosses’ orders.” “Like flies on shit,” Tommy promised. Chuck grinned. “Flies on shit,” he echoed. Inside the store it was busy, and the two men waited patiently for their turn. From behind the counter, Dave and Marilyn gave them courteous, if wary, smiles. Tommy was aware of a few curious glances from other customers, but he didn’t sense any outright hostility. As they neared the counter, Jeannie, the Benson’s heavily pregnant daughter, approached them, a broad smile on her face. “Afternoon, Chuck, Tommy, it’s good to see you back in here.” Jeannie attempted to hug them both.

102

Sue Brown

Tommy managed an awkward squeeze before letting go. “We got the feed out back. If you boys want to bring your truck around, we can get it loaded up. Luke’s already settled the invoice.” If Luke had already paid, then he wasn’t returning to Benson’s as a regular customer. As they loaded their truck, Chuck said, “I thought you didn’t work here now.” Jeannie flushed slightly. “Mom called. She thought it would be easier if I served you. I think she was expecting Luke or Simon to turn up.” Chuck’s face hardened. “She didn’t want to be seen serving the bosses?” Tommy winced but said nothing as he stowed another bag of feed. “No!” Jeannie looked horrified. “She thought Luke would prefer not to have to deal with her.” Chuck kept silent, but Tommy could tell by his expression that he remained unconvinced. “Dad is going to ask Luke to consider bringing business back here.” After the earlier conversation Tommy had overheard between Luke and Simon, he thought there was no hope of that, and Chuck gave a similar noncommittal hum. Jeannie gave a sigh of relief as she perched on a packing crate. Tommy hoped it would bear her weight. She smoothed her smock over her bump. “The store has taken a hit recently. Losing Lost Cow’s business was bad enough, but when Mom and Dad supported Greg and Pamela, they lost some of the business from the more conservative ranches.” “You’ll have to talk to Luke,” Chuck muttered. “He hasn’t forgiven them, has he?” “Can you blame him?” Tommy said, surprising himself by speaking up. “After the way they’ve been treated? It all started in this store. If everyone had supported Luke and Simon in the first place, none of this would have happened.”

Complete Faith

103

Jeannie nodded. “That’s what I told them. But Dad wants to ask anyway.” “You’re all good people, but don’t expect too much from the bosses. Luke’s still really raw about what happened.” Chuck stood up and stretched his back. “Simon’s the one to get on your side. He wanted to make the switch to getting the supplies from the Internet before everything kicked off.” “I keep telling Dad to increase the business like that, but Mom says people prefer to be able to talk to someone.” “There’s no reason they can’t do both,” Chuck pointed out. “You just need to get a website set up.” Jeannie laughed at him. “I know, I know, but I don’t think my parents even know what a website is. They still order all their supplies over the phone.” “Nothing wrong with that,” Chuck allowed. “We need to get back to the ranch before Luke busts a gut wondering what’s happened.” Tommy smiled at Jeannie and said a soft, “Bye,” as he laid a hand on the door handle of the truck. She gave him a knowing look. “You okay, Tommy? Folks have been talking about you recently.” “I’ll bet,” he said sourly, fear settling in his belly. “There’s more sympathy now, but I’d keep a low profile for a while.” “Nothing he can do by hiding. If idiots are going to go for him, then Tommy needs to know who they are.” Tommy looked over at Chuck, a frown furrowing his brow. “You think I should let them beat me up?” “You want what happened to Luke and Simon to happen to you and Noah?” Chuck asked. “Well, no.” “It’s about time the Lost Cow came back to Dodge.” Jeannie looked at the two men. “You sure that’s wise?” “What’s the alternative, Jeannie? Sitting on the ranch forever? Luke and Simon are good men. Luke grew up here. It’s ’bout time people remembered that. Tommy’s the same. If idiots want to mess

104

Sue Brown

with him, then they’re going to have to mess with me. And Pete. Sammy and Jack feel the same.” The fear wasn’t dissipated, by any means. Tommy knew at some point he’d have to face the bigots and thugs that Luke had dealt with for years, but Chuck’s unexpected declaration of support meant a lot to him, and he thanked the hand. Chuck blushed and opened the driver’s door of the truck. “We gotta go. Thank your mom and dad, Jeannie. Luke appreciated the help. You keep you and the baby well.” “If it ever arrives,” Jeannie moaned. “It’s overdue as it is.” Tommy was about to get into the truck when three men came out of the back door of the store with Dave Benson. He recognized them as guys that had been in his school. Guys he did not want to meet right this moment. One of them, Wade Childes, a short man with closecropped hair, was a sadistic bastard with a reputation for beating on his girlfriend. He was working at his father’s ranch out west. Wade Childes Senior hated fags like Luke and Simon and let the whole world know it. He was also a friend of the sheriff. Wade always came with backup. Kyle Butts was a tall, lean man who lived up to his name. He’d been one of Wade’s hangers-on since junior high. Tommy was shocked to see the other man. Lance Mellor had been a close friend of Tommy’s until he’d gone to Stanford to study law, and they’d lost touch. What the hell was he doing with a lowlife like Wade? He slid into the truck, hoping that the men would ignore him, but the second Wade laid eyes on Chuck, he knew it wasn’t to be. Wade swaggered across the yard, his two friends trailing behind him. “Chuck. Surprised to see you here. Thought you hung out with the faggots now.” Chuck scowled at him. “Fuck off, Childes. Pardon me, ma’am.” Jeannie beamed at Chuck. “No problem, Chuck. You said it before I did.” “Now, Jeannie, Chuck, Wade.” The look on Dave’s face said he was expecting trouble. “No trouble here or I’ll call the sheriff.” “You do that, Mr. Benson. I’m sure he’ll want to throw the trash outta town,” Chuck agreed.

Complete Faith

105

“Who are you calling trash, faggot?” For a minute Tommy thought Wade was about to launch himself at Chuck, and he could see the hand bracing himself for a fight, but then Wade stopped and looked in the truck. “Well, look, boys. Tommy Bradley. Heard you turned queer, boy. Not surprised. Heard the queers used their hands as butt boys.” Heart thumping so loudly Tommy was surprised it wasn’t audible to everyone, he got out of the truck and faced Wade. “See you’re still the thug you always were, Childes.” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the looks on Kyle’s and Lance’s faces. Kyle was grinning stupidly. He had always joined in with the fights Wade had started. Lance looked deeply uncomfortable, and Tommy wondered again what Lance was doing with Wade. To Tommy’s surprise, Dave stepped in front of Wade. “Jeannie, call the sheriff. Wade, if you don’t want to be arrested again, leave now. I’ll send your order to the ranch.” Jeannie pulled a cell phone out of her smock. It was clear that Wade was debating whether to ignore Dave’s threat, but as Tommy remembered, the man was a bully who preferred doing his beatings in private where no one could see him. “Typical faggot. Need an old man and a woman to protect you.” “Get lost, Childes,” Chuck said angrily. Tommy ignored him, knowing it was a deliberate attempt to provoke him into starting a fight. “Watch your back, Bradley. I’ll be after you and that abomination of a church.” Wade straightened up, attempting to look hard. Tommy wasn’t stupid. Wade was as hard as nails, and he would get Tommy, as promised. It was just a matter of when. He ignored Wade and focused his attention on Lance. The man was staring down at his boots, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Childes spat at Dave’s feet. “I’ll tell my dad you’re still selling to the queers. He won’t be buying from you again.” A wry smile twisted Dave’s mouth. “You just tell him that’s fine with me. Good day, Wade.”

106

Sue Brown

The thug spat again and walked away toward the gate. Kyle followed him immediately, but Lance hesitated. He stared at Tommy with a helpless expression, and suddenly Tommy knew what was going through Lance’s head. “Mellor. You wanna get infected by the homo?” Wade narrowed his eyes as he noticed the hand’s hesitation. Lance gave Tommy one last helpless look and followed Wade. “Wade!” Knowing it was a stupid move, Tommy called after the bully. Wade turned, and for one awful moment, Tommy thought he was going to come back. “Stay away from me, and stay away from St. Mark’s.” He saw Lance’s eyes widen slightly and hoped the message had been received. “Your turn will come, homo,” Wade sneered, walking away. When Tommy turned back, Chuck was staring at him. “What was that all about?” Tommy went to answer, but Jeannie got there first. “He just told Lance where he could go for help.” “What on earth is Lance doing with thugs like the Childeses? He went to college.” Tommy remembered Lance had had plans to become a lawyer. “The money ran out,” Dave said. “Their spread went under middle of last year. You probably didn’t hear because of everything going on at the Lost Cow. Didn’t know he was a homo, though.” He looked apologetically at Tommy. “Sorry.” Tommy knew he was in for a lifetime of this: abuse or apologies. He dismissed it with a wave. “I’ll call Noah. Tell him to expect Lance, and warn him about Wade.” “It wouldn’t surprise me if the Childeses were behind the attacks on the Lost Cow. Wade Senior’s been after that land for years,” Chuck said thoughtfully. “I’ll let the bosses know.” “And I’ll call the sheriff,” Dave said. “The sheriff isn’t gonna be happy when he hears about this. Childes’s been angling to be made a deputy.”

Complete Faith

107

Sheriff Canes probably wouldn’t even make out a report. He didn’t have time to help fags. Tommy had learned that this past year when he’d locked Simon up when he’d been falsely accused of beating up Tom Smith. Tommy looked at Dave Benson. “Thank you for standing up for me.” He held out his hand to Dave, who took it without hesitation. “Shoulda done it first time round.” “Better get on the road, Tommy.” Chuck headed back to the truck. Tommy was more than happy to go with that idea. He’d had enough excitement for one day.

108

Sue Brown Chapter Fourteen

THE thought of Wade attacking Noah made Tommy feel physically sick, and he decided to call Noah on the way back to the Lost Cow to warn him about the threat and talk about Lance. He recognized the look of desperation in Lance’s eyes. As usual, the sound of Noah’s rich voice greeting him made Tommy’s toes curl. “Hey, this is unexpected, Tom. Are we still on for tonight?” Noah had arranged to spend the night with Tommy. It was the first time Noah had officially slept at the bunkhouse. “Yeah, although you might not want to when you hear what just happened.” “Just happened? Are you all right?” Noah’s concern for him meant so much to Tommy and helped to alleviate some of the fear that he couldn’t hide. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Chuck shoot him a concerned glance. Tommy sighed. “Not really. I’ve just been threatened by an idiot named Wade Childes, and he threatened you and St. Mark’s too.” “What? He threatened you? What did he say? I’m coming over now.” Tommy heard the scrape of a chair being pushed back. “I’m fine. You don’t need to do that. I’ll see you later.” “I’m coming over,” Noah insisted. “All right, but you ought to warn Ray. And you might get a visit or a call from a guy called Lance.” “Lance Mellor?”

Complete Faith

109

Surprised, Tommy asked, “Yes, do you know him?” “We’ve talked once or twice, but I never managed to persuade him to come to the church. I thought he went away to college.” “The money ran out when the ranch went under. He’s working on Childes’s spread now.” “Heck, poor boy. I know he was desperate to get away to college.” “He looks scared.” And tired and on the edge. “If he’s working for the Childeses, he should be. I’ll go see Ray, then I’ll be on my way. Hang tight.” “I’m sorry, Noah.” “What on earth for?” “For getting you involved.” The last thing Tommy expected was for Noah to laugh. “Tommy, I’m a black, gay pastor running a gay church in the middle of the Bible Belt. We get threats all the time. Kinda goes with the territory.” Stupidly, Tommy hadn’t thought about that. “How do you live with it?” “I pray for them. Gotta go. See you in a couple of hours.” Tommy slipped the phone back into his pocket and looked at Chuck. “He’s coming over.” “Gathered that. He’s a good man,” Chuck said. “Yeah.” Leaning against the window of the truck, Tommy closed his eyes. Today was just another day. Wade’s threats meant nothing in the face of Noah’s love and support from people like Chuck. He’d keep telling himself that.

SIMON and Luke were waiting for them in the yard. As soon as Chuck cut the engine, Luke was at Tommy’s door. “Are you okay? Jeannie called and said there’d been trouble. You should never have gone.” He scowled at Simon.

110

Sue Brown

Tommy bit his lip. “Wade Childes is a dick trying to cause trouble.” “He’s a dick with clout, and he’s got his daddy behind him.” Simon exhaled sharply. “What do you want Tommy to do? Stay locked up on this farm like we have been for months?” “He’s safe here,” Luke insisted. “Dammit, this isn’t some gay sanctuary, Luke. There’s a whole fucking world out there.” Tommy watched as the boss and the ranch foreman squared up to each other. He cast a desperate look at Chuck, who coughed loudly. “It’s getting dark, boss. We’ll unload now.” The two men scowled at each other before turning their attention to Chuck. “Come to the house when you’ve finished, Tommy,” Luke snapped as he walked away. Simon stared after his lover. When Luke stomped into the house, slamming the verandah door so hard it rattled, he turned back to Chuck and Tommy. “I’ll give you a hand so you can get the truck away.” As they started unloading the feed, Tommy caught Chuck’s eye. Chuck shook his head slightly. Don’t say anything. Tommy nodded and lifted the next bag. They’d just finished unloading the last bag when he heard the sound of Noah’s truck rattling into the yard. Tommy looked up, a smile spilling across his face. Simon grinned at him and spoke for the first time since his row with Luke. “Go on. We’ll finish up.” Not needing to be told twice, Tommy ran out of the barn and over to Noah, wrapping his arms around his man almost before Noah had gotten out of the car. “Hey.” Noah enfolded him in his arms, holding him close. “You okay?” “Am now,” Tommy admitted, aware he was pressing into Noah. “What did that asshole say?” Noah asked, stroking Tommy’s back. He didn’t seem bothered by the open display of affection. “Just that I had to watch my back and you’d better watch yours.”

Complete Faith

111

Noah snorted. “As I said, it’s not the first time I’ve received a threat like that. Ray and I don’t even bother to keep count now.” Tommy raised his head. “Has anyone tried to hurt you?” “Once or twice. I called the sheriff. He encouraged the perpetrators to back off. It all calmed down.” “I haven’t had it aimed at me before.” He laid his head back on Noah’s shoulder because that was where he wanted to be. “I know, baby. But just let it roll off your back. Half the time with folks, it’s just pissin’ in the wind.” Tommy appreciated the way Noah was trying to calm him down. “I couldn’t bear it if he tried to attack you.” “Wade Childes is a small-time bully just like his daddy. All mouth, but when it comes to it, he’s yella.” Someone coughed behind Noah. Reluctantly, Tommy raised his head and looked over Noah’s shoulder. Luke gave them both an apologetic look. “Childes was one of the men trying to force Lil to stop working with us last year.” “That’s right, he was,” Simon agreed, coming out of the barn. “Him and Stevenson. Didn’t hear no more about it after that.” Warily, Tommy looked between the two men. They were flicking glances at each other even as they aimed their discussion at Noah. Oblivious, Noah frowned. “I didn’t know about that. Can’t say as I’m surprised, though.” “Chuck said Benson was gonna report it to the sheriff,” Simon said. “You ought to make your own complaint, Tom.” “What’s the point if it’s just empty threats? I’d rather just forget about it.” Luke shook his head. “You call Canes. If trouble is starting all over again, then I’m not having Canes say we shoulda reported it sooner.” “It’s just one man mouthing off,” Tommy protested. “Call him,” Luke said sternly. Tommy looked at Noah for help, but the pastor was nodding too. “It makes sense, Tom. If it was a drunk mouthing off, it would be one thing, but Childes made a specific threat against you.”

112

Sue Brown

Huffing out a breath, Tommy ran his hand through his hair, wincing as he caught his nail on a tangle. “Do you want to come in for coffee?” Luke asked suddenly. Tommy did not want coffee. What he wanted was to take Noah into his bedroom, strip him down to all that lovely rich skin, and fuck the day out of his head. But Noah was nodding in agreement, and Tommy repressed a sigh. Fucking could wait, obviously. “Simon?” Luke looked over to his partner. “I’ll make sure the horses are stabled, then I’ll be in.” Tommy breathed a sigh of relief. At least they weren’t carrying on their feud. “I’ve done it, Simon.” Chuck came out of the barn. “Horses and chickens are in, and the yearling’s doing fine.” “Thanks, Chuck. Do you want a cup? We could use your input, as you were there today.” “No, thanks. I’ve got a date tonight, and she’ll be furious if I’m late.” Tommy’s jaw dropped. Chuck had a date? He looked around at the men to see them equally astounded. In the whole time he’d lived on the Lost Cow, he’d never known Chuck to show any interest in a woman, or man, come to that. “You… have a date?” Luke asked, sounding as astonished as Tommy felt. Chuck rolled his eyes. “Yes, I have a date. No, you didn’t know before. Yes, I like her, and no, I’m not telling you who it is.” He waved at them as he walked toward the bunkhouse. “Oh, Chuck, say hello to Shelley for me,” Noah said as they all followed Luke into the house. Tommy turned around at the choking sound coming from Chuck. The deputy foreman was bright red. “Shelley?” Simon raised an eyebrow. “As in waitress Shelley? As in the wonderful woman at the diner Shelley?” During the dark days of Greg’s illness, Shelley, a waitress in the diner close to the hospital, had mothered Luke and his family. When

Complete Faith

113

Luke’s mother introduced Noah to the family, they discovered Shelley was his aunt by marriage. Later on, they found out she was a widow. Chuck glowered at Noah. “You just couldn’t resist, could you?” Noah stared back innocently. “I just wanted you to say hi to my aunt.” “Well, well.” Luke smirked at Chuck. “’M goin’.” Chuck huffed as he walked away. He slammed the door on the shared chuckles. “What a dog.” Luke seemed to find it all hugely amusing. “You’re loving every minute of this, aren’t you?” Simon accused. “Damn straight I am,” Luke agreed as he headed for the coffeemaker. “Firstly, Chuck put me through hell when I was screwing around, and secondly, it’s someone else’s turn to be caught in Noah’s crosshairs.” “I don’t know what you mean,” Noah said blandly as he sat down at the kitchen table. He pulled Tommy down to sit on the chair next to him. “What do you mean, screwing around?” His eyes narrowing suspiciously, Simon did not look happy as he took the other seat. Luke shrugged indifferently. “I was a teenager. I wanted to fuck. Not that there was much opportunity around here.” “But you still managed it,” Simon asked thinly. “I was waiting for you to grow up, babe.” Luke walked up behind Simon’s chair to lean down and give him a hug. “Oh, he’s good, isn’t he?” Noah said to Tommy. Tommy was speechless, partly at the thought of Chuck having a girlfriend and partly from his vague memory of Luke as a teenager: an open, free spirit. He had watched Luke develop into a young man, dearly loved by his family but dealing with rejection from parts of the community. Luke buried his face in Simon’s neck. “Si knows just how good I am.” So do I, thought Tommy. Noah’s hand resting over his made Tommy look up.

114

Sue Brown

“Are you okay?” Noah asked quietly. The concern in Noah’s face warmed Tommy. “I’m fine. Happy you’re here.” “Tell me about Lance.” Lance. Hell, Tommy had almost forgotten about the poor man. “You probably know him better than me. I grew up with him and didn’t know he was gay.” “We did,” Luke said. “He came to us before he went to college. Just wanted to know what it was like at college. It didn’t take long to work out what he wasn’t asking.” “I didn’t have a clue, but he seemed happier when he came back for the holidays,” Tommy said. “He was getting some, obviously.” Luke moved away to pour the coffee. “Lance called me about coming to the church, but I never saw him.” Noah accepted his cup from Luke with one hand while keeping the other entwined with Tommy’s. Luke sat down at the table. “Now he’s pushed back in the closet and working for that homophobic a-hole, Wade Childes.” “There is nothing we can do. Unless he makes a decision to come out, then we just have to keep our mouths shut. If he’s seen with us, then people are gonna get suspicious,” Simon said. “That’s true, poor boy.” Luke looked sad. “Now, when are you going to call Canes?” Tommy didn’t get a chance to argue before he said, “Let me rephrase that. Go to the office and make the call now.” “Yes, boss,” Tommy said automatically. He got to his feet and looked down at Noah, biting his lips before asking, “Come with me?” “’Course I will.” Noah smiled at Tommy and followed him out of the kitchen. “I’ll make more coffee,” Luke called after them. Tommy didn’t want to speak to the sheriff. In truth, the man intimidated him, and after last year’s debacle, he didn’t fully trust Canes to do the right thing. The office was neat and tidy. Luke hated every second he spent trapped in there and preferred to take the laptop into the kitchen. Tommy sat in the desk chair. Noah pulled up a chair and sat down

Complete Faith

115

beside him, his leg pressed warm into Tommy’s. Once again, it struck Tommy how much he appreciated being touched. “Get this over with, and we’ll go over to the bunkhouse,” Noah suggested. Tommy took a deep breath. He liked that suggestion. Canes picked up on the third ring. “Sheriff Canes.” “Evening, sir. It’s Tommy Bradley.” “Mr. Bradley. I was expecting you to call.” True to his word, the sheriff didn’t sound surprised. He swallowed hard and then said, “Did Mr. Benson tell you what happened today?” “He did, and I have already visited Mr. Childes Junior to inform him that I do not expect to hear he made good on his threat. He has assured me his angry words were said in the heat of the moment.” “You did?” Tommy was shocked. “I did. Please call me again if there is any trouble. I will be calling Pastor Taylor with the same assurance.” “I…. Thank you.” “Good-bye, Mr. Bradley.” Tommy put the phone down and stared at Noah. “He’s already been to see Childes.” “And?” “He’s told him to back off.” Noah’s eyes widened. “Good for the sheriff.” “What’s Canes done now?” Simon asked as he came into the office, coffee cups in hand. “He’s told Wade Childes to back off.” Surprise was evident on Simon’s face as well. “Good for him. He’s done that already?” “Dave Benson had already called him.” Simon slurped on his coffee. “He was changing his attitude last year, and I think Greg’s heart attack was the last straw.” “I hate this! It’s always about Greg’s illness!” The words just burst out of Tommy. He could see the look of surprise on Noah’s and

116

Sue Brown

Simon’s faces. “It’s never about the fact that the attacks were aimed at you and Luke, or that you were arrested on some stupid charge. They get upset over the animals being hurt or the stress Momma and the Boss suffered, but never about you.” Simon gave him a wry smile. “That’s life, Tommy, and it is changing. A year ago, Canes wouldn’t have lifted a finger if Wade Childes had aimed a gun at you. Now he’s trying to prevent trouble before it starts. You have to give him credit for that.” Tommy huffed into his cup. Noah squeezed Tommy’s thigh. “Simon is right, Tom. Times are changing. Slowly, but Canes is one of the good ol’ boys, and if he can change, then others can too. The sheriff has openly supported you against one of the biggest landowners in the county. Don’t knock him.” “What’s this about the sheriff?” Luke popped his head around the office door, waving at Tommy when he went to get out of Luke’s chair. “Stay. What did I overhear about the sheriff supporting you?” When Tommy explained again what Canes had said to him, Luke whistled in surprise. “I thought hell would freeze over before that old coot would lift a finger to help a faggot.” Tommy couldn’t help flinching at his blunt words. He, too, was a faggot. He still hadn’t really come to terms with being open about his sexuality, and words like faggot just drove home how vulnerable he was. Noah stroked his cheek, seemingly aware of his freak-out. “You’re not on your own, Tom. You’re in a room full of people just like you.” Both Simon and Luke nodded at him, and Simon said, “You’re a gay man, Tom… Tommy. Don’t be scared of it. Yeah, there are idiots like Childes out there, and you’ve seen what happens when it goes wrong. But you have Noah, and me and Luke to help you. Plus a whole ranchful of people who don’t give a crap who you like to fuck. And people who like who you do fuck.” He shot a quick grin at Noah. “It’s new and scary, but what the hell… heck, enjoy it.” “You’ve waited a long time for this, Tommy, but it’s worth all the head-fucking.” Luke slid under Simon’s arm so that he could be cuddled.

Complete Faith

117

“You must be sick of my freak-outs,” Tommy muttered. Noah laughed as he wrapped his arms around Tommy. “Nowhere near sick of you yet. Give it time.” He leaned in to whisper directly into Tommy’s ear, “Like me to show you just how not sick of you I am?” Tommy shuddered, and he heard Luke laugh. “I think that’s our cue to throw these two out.” “I think you’re right.” Looking up, Tommy saw Luke and Simon were kissing, hot, openmouthed kisses, and Simon had pulled Luke flush up against his body. Tommy’s mouth went dry. It was like watching them that night through the window. He knew that this was the real Luke and Simon, the couple that few people ever saw: gay and didn’t give a shit that Tommy and Noah were watching them. Simon’s hands slid down Luke’s back to cup his ass and pull him closer still. Luke groaned, hot and dirty, into Simon’s mouth. “Take me to your room, before I suggest something we’ll all regret,” Noah said in Tommy’s ear. Tommy looked at his lover. Noah was turned on by the display, so horny that there was an obvious bulge in his pants. Mischievously, Tommy brushed Noah’s erection with the back of his hand. Noah caught him by the wrist. “Do that again, and I will take you here and now over the desk.” His steady gaze told Tommy that he meant exactly what he said, and the heat that flashed through Tommy at the thought of being fucked like that in front of Luke and Simon was almost too much. A choking noise made him look up. Still entwined, Luke and Simon were staring at them, all flushed cheeks and blown pupils. “Go home now, before we lock the door and watch you get fucked,” Luke demanded hoarsely. Noah pulled Tommy to his feet. “You’re not ready for that, babe. Not yet.” It was hard to hold back a cry of protest. Tommy had caught Simon fucking Luke more than once. He’d watched Simon make love to Luke so tenderly it had brought tears to Tommy’s eyes. What would

118

Sue Brown

be so bad about letting two men he trusted implicitly watch him in return? “Go home,” Luke repeated. Tommy could see his lips were puffy and red. “Not saying never, Tommy, but you gotta be ready for something like that.” “Come on.” Noah guided Tommy out of the office and toward the porch door. As they crossed the yard, Tommy came to an abrupt halt, staring at Noah in dismay. What the hell must Noah be thinking of him? One minute Tommy was a virgin, and the next he was offering himself up to be fucked in public? He was little better than a whore. Noah gave him a knowing look. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop it. It was the heat of the moment. Pheromones or something. Fucking you over the desk was my suggestion, remember? Stop thinking that you’re a slut simply for wanting it.” “But Luke and Simon….” He was never going to be able to look his bosses in the face again. “Would have watched if it hadn’t been you,” Noah said, his voice calm again. “It’s not an issue, Tommy, so don’t think you have to be ashamed.” Tommy was still confused. “Why did they stop because it was me?” “Because of the freak-out you just had. Could you wake up tomorrow and face them if I had fucked you?” Hell no! “When the answer is yes, they won’t stop you.” “I think I’d like to get inside now, please,” Tommy said faintly. Noah slipped an arm around his shoulder. “Good idea.”

Complete Faith

119 Chapter Fifteen

INSIDE Tommy’s bedroom, Noah pushed him down onto the bed and knelt at his feet to take off Tommy’s boots. Noah wrestled them off and then toed off his own shoes, kicking them under the bed. Tommy found himself pushed flat on his back with Noah straddling his body. Noah stared down into Tommy’s eyes. “Now, I think you should stop worrying about what didn’t happen and think about what is about to happen instead.” Tommy swallowed hard. “What is about to happen?” “We are going to get naked, and then I am going to fuck you, just like I said I would.” “There’s no desk in here,” Tommy pointed out, proud at how steady his voice was. Noah deliberately sat on Tommy’s confined cock, grinning at the groan that evoked. “I can take you over the end of the bed.” “If you don’t get off my dick, it’ll be stuck in your ass,” Tommy threatened, only half joking. He wanted to fuck Noah but was scared to ask in case Noah only topped. Noah hummed thoughtfully. “We could do that. Maybe not today. Today, your ass is mine.” They stripped each other slowly, each portion of bare skin nuzzled and licked. The urgency Tommy had felt in Luke’s office had subsided. He wanted to be fucked slowly, until he wasn’t thinking about anything except Noah in him and around him. As Noah pulled Tommy’s jeans down his legs, he asked, “Where is Pete?”

120

Sue Brown

“He’s gone with Jack and Sammy to Bud’s house. He’s one of the old-timers who gives us a hand occasionally.” “So the house is empty?” The wicked expression in Noah’s eyes made Tommy lick his lips nervously. “Until they come back,” he confirmed. Noah trailed one finger down the middle of Tommy’s now exposed cock. Exposed and rapidly hardening cock. “So if I made you scream no one would hear?” “You wouldn’t do that!” Tommy scoffed, hoping that Noah hadn’t seen his shiver. “You wanna bet?” Oh, Noah was just toying with him now. “If I don’t scream, I get to fuck you next time,” Tommy said. “And if I do make you scream?” Tommy hadn’t thought that far. All he’d thought about was sinking his cock into Noah’s ass. “Your choice,” he said weakly. “I’ll think about it,” Noah agreed. “Now lean over the bed with your ass up high.” Tommy almost flopped onto the bed in his haste to do as he was told, resting on his forearms, his ass presented to Noah. He groaned as Noah cupped one cheek and gave it a squeeze before moving on to the other. “You have an amazing ass, Tom. Firm and meaty. I want to bite it.” Unable to stop the flush that covered him, Tommy buried his face in his hands. It didn’t stop him hearing Noah’s chuckle. “Ow!” Tommy reared back and peered over his shoulder. The bastard had done what he’d just said and bitten him. “What did you do that for?” He glared at Noah, who was grinning at him. “Made you scream,” Noah pointed out. “That wasn’t screaming. That was yelling in agony. You bit me!” Tommy rubbed at the sore spot. There wasn’t any blood, Lord have mercy.

Complete Faith

121

Noah cocked his head. “Want me to try again?” “Bite me? No thanks.” “I can fuck you, if you’d prefer. You’ll scream again,” Noah said confidently. “Keep your teeth to yourself,” Tommy insisted as he bent over the bed again. “Spoilsport.” Noah didn’t seem to mind too much, though, because one of his hands was squeezing Tommy’s ass while the other was trailing down between his cheeks. Shivering in anticipation, Tommy waited for Noah’s fingers to breach him. Noah didn’t seem to be in any hurry, though, as he continued down to stroke Tommy’s balls, cupping them gently to feel the heavy weight. “God!” Tommy shuddered again, pushing into Noah’s touch. He closed his eyes and buried himself in the sensation, Noah’s warm body pressed up against Tommy’s, grounding the younger man, even as his hand continued to explore Tommy’s balls and shaft. “Feels good,” Tommy said as Noah’s thumb swept across the head of Tommy’s cock. “Just good?” Noah continued his gentle motion across Tommy’s dick. “More than good. Gonna come if you keep that up.” “Can’t have that. Not until I’m inside you.” Tommy felt the cold air as Noah pulled away for a second. He bit back a moan of protest. “Where’s the…? Ah, here it is.” Then Noah’s warmth was back, and he was breeching Tommy with cool slickness that made Tommy moan with pain and pleasure. Slowly, too slowly for Tommy’s liking, Noah opened Tommy up. Then Tommy was gasping as he was filled with Noah’s cock. “Okay?” Noah asked. His fingers slid through Tommy’s hair, tugging on it to pull Tommy’s head back. “Amazing.”

122

Sue Brown “Good. M’gonna fuck you. I think you have some screaming to

do.” Tommy was sure he didn’t scream, but he moaned and gasped as Noah fucked into him, and when Noah changed position and pounded into his prostate, Tommy couldn’t hold back the noise. Streams of filthy talk that surely shouldn’t come from a pastor urged him on. His hands wrapped in the sheets, holding on white-knuckled as Noah pumped into him time and again. Tommy needed to come, his orgasm so close, but he wanted to come with Noah. One more brush against his prostate, though, and it was a lost cause. He grabbed at his cock. Noah’s slick hand joined his, and they brought him off, shouting in relief as he sprayed the bed with streams of come. He was too lost in the aftershocks of his own orgasm to pay much attention to Noah’s climax as they both toppled forward onto the bed. They lay on the bed, Noah sprawled over Tommy, until the mess drying under Tommy’s body and the weight of his lover became too much. Tommy wriggled until Noah got the hint and heaved himself off with a groan. “You’re going to kill me,” Tommy moaned as he stood up on unsteady legs. “That’s my line,” Noah mumbled, his eyes still closed. Tommy grinned. Noah was completely out of it. As there was no one else in the house, Tommy made a naked trip to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth. As Tommy removed the condom and cleaned Noah, the man snored, oblivious to Tommy’s gentle hands. He looked at the comecovered sheet and at Noah sleeping peacefully, and shrugged. A wicked imp made him nudge Noah into the wet spot. Then he lay down next to Noah, pulling the comforter around them. Noah muttered something incoherent and rolled so that he was the little spoon, his ass fitting snugly into Tommy’s groin. Despite being tired, the events of the day swirled around in Tommy’s head, keeping him from relaxing completely. What had happened with Luke and Simon, that was embarrassing, and he had to be thankful Noah and Luke had stopped it when they had. Tommy wasn’t sure he would ever be ready to fuck in front of someone else, but more to the point, it was Luke and Simon. Luke was possessive to

Complete Faith

123

the point of insane jealousy of Simon. Tommy still hadn’t fully gotten over his crush on Luke. Noah was a pastor, for Christ’s sake. Tommy resisted the urge to cover his knuckles in case his mom whapped him with the wooden spoon. It was better that the whole scene just be forgotten. The incident with Wade and Lance was more worrying. Wade wouldn’t let it go, Tommy knew that much for sure. He’d been on the end of Wade’s special treatment more than once during high school, simply because he wasn’t a jock. The man had always been a sadistic bastard, just like his daddy. Tommy frowned, thinking back to the start of the trouble last year. Simon had been arrested for assaulting Tom Smith, one of the store owners in Parson and previously a friend of Simon’s. Tom’s injuries sounded consistent with Wade’s MO. Wade liked to use a baseball bat in school. Tommy would bet Wade had been involved somewhere, and if not Wade, then his henchman, Kyle. He would mention that to the others in the morning. Perhaps there was some way of getting the information back to the sheriff without involving Tommy directly. The last thing Tommy needed was to be seen telling tales. Noah huffed and muttered something. It distracted Tommy from his worries, and he waited to see if Noah said anything else, but he just snuggled in closer to Tommy. Tommy pressed a kiss between Noah’s shoulder blades. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Eventually the warmth of Noah’s body seeped into Tommy enough to relax him to sleep.

NOAH was still asleep in the morning when a sleepy Tommy headed for the kitchen. To his surprise, Simon was having coffee with Pete. He looked at the clock. To his shock, it was ten o’clock. “Afternoon,” Pete said, offering a cup. Tommy scrubbed at his face. “Heck, I didn’t realize it was this late.” “Luke thought you could do with a sleep-in after yesterday’s excitement, but he asked if you could cover my chores this afternoon. The boss and I are doing interviews for extra hands. With calving and

124

Sue Brown

the auctions coming up, we’ll need all the hands we can get.” Simon held out his cup for a refill. That reminded Tommy of his thoughts the night before. “Sure. Listen, I don’t know if this means anything, but do you think Wade Childes could have been responsible for Tom Smith’s injuries last year? Pete frowned at him. “That’s a big accusation. Why would Childes attack one of his friends?” “Maybe Tom was sorry for turning on Simon and wanted to call the cops,” Tommy suggested. Simon shook his head. “I don’t think so. All Tom said was that it wasn’t me that attacked him.” “Whoever attacked him nearly killed him. If he did know who it is, he’s unlikely to admit it in case he’s beaten again.” Simon took another slurp of coffee before he spoke. “I don’t s’pose we’re ever gonna know what really happened to Tom. He says hello to me at church, but that’s about the only contact we have now. That beating took a lot outta him.” Tom had started going to St. Mark’s, along with a few other of Parson’s folks. It was their way of apologizing to Luke and Simon without actually saying the words. “You ought to go talk to him,” Tommy said. “He might open up if you ask him directly.” “Luke would kill me if I went anywhere near him. We’re grateful an’ all for the support at church, but after last year neither of us wants anything to do with Parson.” “You may not get a choice now,” Pete pointed out, “if Childes starts up again.” “Let’s hope Wade has the sense to heed the sheriff’s words.” Pete snorted loudly. “More chance of snow in August.” “Morning.” Tommy looked up to see Noah in the doorway. He smiled at the sleepy face of his lover. “Morning, Pastor. Coffee?”

Complete Faith

125

Noah sat down beside Tommy, making sure he was pushed up against him. “Call me Noah, and please. I caught the end of the conversation. You think Wade will cause trouble again?” “Wade’s a sadistic little shit.” Tommy was rarely so outspoken about anyone, and Pete and Simon looked surprised at his outburst. “He’s got a big mouth,” Simon agreed. Tommy shook his head. “No, I mean, he’s a sadistic bastard who likes hurting people.” “Did he hurt you, Tommy?” Noah asked, sitting closer to him. Huffing out a breath, Tommy said, “Yeah, whenever he got the chance. Mainly it was tripping me up on the track or slamming my hand in the locker doors. Coupla times he punched me, but not when anyone was around. ’Course, if he’d known I was queer, he’d have probably killed me.” “Just you, or all the kids?” Simon asked intently. “All the kids, but he had his favorites to pick on. I’m amazed Lance is working for him. He used to be a regular target for Wade.” “Wade Senior was just the same,” Pete said. “They’re bullies, all of them.” “Not surprising that’s the reason Tom Smith is keeping his mouth shut.” Simon looked at Tommy. “You don’t go anywhere by yourself. We can work the rosters so you are paired up the whole time.” “You can’t do that forever, boss.” “Maybe not forever, but at least for a short while. Childes’s got a short temper. If he’s gonna blow a fuse, then he’ll do it soon. He’s not the type to wait around for months.” “Look, I don’t think…,” Tommy started. He stopped when Noah laid a hand on his thigh. “You do as they tell you.” Tommy frowned at Noah. “I can’t go around with someone attached to my hip all day.” “You will if it keeps you safe.”

126

Sue Brown

Tommy was prevented from arguing by a knock at the door. When Pete opened it, they found Luke waiting outside. “Wonderin’ where all my hands have gone. Now I realize they’re all slacking.” “Stop bitching and have some coffee.” Simon poured him a cup and dragged Luke to the table and sat him down on his lap. He ignored Luke’s attempt to get off by clamping a strong arm across his belly. “The chair’s gonna break.” Luke struggled, but Tommy noticed he didn’t struggle too hard. “We’ve just told Tommy that he’s not to go anywhere without a buddy,” Pete said, ignoring the scuffle between his bosses. Luke sat still for a few minutes. “I think that should go for all of us. We don’t want to give Wade a chance to catch us by surprise. Tommy, I want you to buddy with Jack. Chuck goes with Sammy, Pete and Simon go together. Si, you sort the day hands out.” “What about you?” Pete asked. “I’m stuck in the office with Lil and Pops for the next few days. I think they’ll protect me.” Luke pulled a face. Simon caught Luke’s jaw to pull him around for a kiss. “Don’t worry, boss. I’ll make sure you get your morning report.” Tommy and Pete laughed at Luke’s expression—a mixture of breathless and excited—while Noah just looked confused. “The foreman has a unique way of giving his daily report,” Tommy told Noah. A smirk spread over Noah’s face, matching the expressions on Luke’s and Simon’s faces. “Oh?” Pete sighed and pushed back his chair. “I think I should go and do something else now. Far away. Far, far away.” “The chickens need feeding,” Simon suggested. “Not nearly far enough.” Pete made his escape to a chorus of chuckles from the other men. As soon as the door closed behind him, Simon looked at Tommy, the humor erased from his face. “I mean what I said. You stay with Jack unless I tell you to change, and if you go to Noah’s, then you let us know you’ve got there okay.”

Complete Faith

127

Tommy stared at him aghast. “You’re joking.” “I’m not. Last year proved we can never relax.” “Boss, please….” Tommy looked at Luke pleadingly, but the boss shook his head. “You do as Simon says. It won’t be forever.” A sidelong glance at Noah told Tommy he wouldn’t get any support there. “All right,” he muttered sullenly. “Good.” A stain of color appeared on Simon’s cheeks. “Are we all okay ’bout last night?” Tommy was very glad for Noah reaching over to hold his hand. “We’re fine,” Noah agreed. “Tommy and I talked about it last night. It wasn’t the right time.” His tone suggested that there might just be a right time. Tommy held on to Noah’s hand very tightly. He was scared by how excited he was by the idea.

128

Sue Brown Chapter Sixteen

AT

CHURCH the Sunday after the curfew was imposed, Ray caught

Tommy, Simon, and Luke just as they were leaving. “The group’s going to the Pacific Bar next Saturday. You coming?” He was talking to Luke and Simon but included Tommy in the invitation. Simon furrowed his brow. “Don’t see why not. Wanna join us, Tommy?” Tommy had never been one for socializing. Before Noah, he used to see his mom and dad once a week on a Sunday, go to church if he was forced to, and occasionally go out to a bar with Chuck or Sammy. But since he didn’t drink that much and he didn’t want to pick up girls, more often than not he was left sitting in a corner nursing a soda while the other men got drunk and flirted outrageously. Now he was with Noah, Tommy still didn’t go out that much except to see Noah, but his world had opened up to other men and women just like him. There was a group for the gay men at St. Mark’s. Initially Tommy had resisted joining, a last-ditch attempt not to be associated with faggots. After a while, he’d realized how pathetic that was, and if he had the time off, he would join the men’s group if they met at the church. He still wasn’t ready to venture into gay bars and clubs. Luke and Simon hadn’t joined the group, as such, but occasionally would go with the group on their social events. The foreman had confided to Tommy that he was forcing Luke out just to get him off the ranch.

Complete Faith

129

“Is Noah going as well?” Tommy asked. “Is Noah going where?” A light hand on the small of Tommy’s back was the first indication that Noah was standing behind him. “Hey.” Tommy kissed Noah on the cheek. He had quickly learned that Noah wasn’t going to stop touching him just because he was in church. “Hey. I’m just off to see Susan and Emma for an hour. Baby Noah was feeling poorly, so they didn’t come to church. Do you want to come with me?” Tommy nodded. “Sure.” “Do you want to come to the Pacific next week?” Ray asked. Noah looked at Tommy. “Do you want to go?” he asked carefully. “Maybe?” Tommy was aware it was more of a question than a statement. He had no idea what to expect, but if Noah was there, as well, Tommy knew it would be all right. “We’ll go,” Simon said. “We need the fun before calving starts.” Ray smiled. “Cool. See you there.” As Tommy and Noah walked to Noah’s truck, the pastor said, “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Tommy thought about it. He wasn’t that interested in drinking, but he’d never been with a partner—a boyfriend. It could be cool. “Gotta try it once,” he muttered. “You dance?” “Oh, I have moves.” Noah’s voice dropped a couple of octaves. He didn’t want to look at Noah. If he looked at Noah, he knew he would be lost in the dark-chocolate eyes. Everything about Noah was warm and rich. “I’ve seen your moves,” Tommy managed, his own voice hoarse. “Maybe I can show you more of them next week.” “Get in the car, Noah, before you end up flat on your back, showing me your moves now.” Noah chuckled, and even that sound was wickedly rich. “Tut, tut, my son, this is God’s time.”

130

Sue Brown

“Better think pure thoughts, then, Pastor,” Tommy drawled as he got into the truck. “Around you, my thoughts are anything but pure.” Noah’s voice dripped sex. It was so unfair. Noah managed to drive to Susan and Emma’s without disgracing himself, and remaining unmolested by Tommy. Almost unmolested. If the two women noticed their pastor was a little ruffled when they opened their front door, they were kind enough not to mention it. Tommy, though, Tommy was smug.

BABY NOAH was tiny. His little hand was curled around one of Tommy’s fingers as he slept. He had been placed in Tommy’s lap almost as soon as they had walked in the door. Tommy stroked the soft blond down on the baby’s head. “You’re good with babies,” Noah commented. “So would you be if you spent as many evenings as I did babysitting for my cousins. My mom used to hire me out as a free babysitter.” Those same cousins would probably never speak to him again, let alone leave their children in his care. “He’s looking so big now, Emma.” Noah spoke to Baby Noah’s mommy. The two women had decided early on that Emma was Mommy and Susan was Mama. “He is. He’s so strong now.” “How old is he now, Emma?” Tommy asked, pitching his voice low so that it wouldn’t wake the baby. “He’s six weeks old,” she said, bending down to stroke her son’s head. “Four days and three very long hours,” Susan added as she walked into the room carrying a large tray. Noah sprang up to help her, but she said, “I’m fine, Pastor. Please sit down.” “And he’s well? Not had any reoccurrence of the breathing problems?” Tommy asked.

Complete Faith

131

“He’s fine and dandy,” she said. “We brought him home just before Christmas. We would have come to church, but he seemed sleepy today, so we decided to stay at home. You didn’t have to visit, Pastor.” Noah smiled at Susan. “And miss a chance of seeing my first baby?” Noah was pleased as punch that the baby had been named after him. His first baby, as he told everyone. “Have you heard from the hospital?” Leaning over Tommy, he stroked Baby Noah’s cheek. The baby turned toward the caress, nuzzling into Noah’s hand. “Not about our complaint, except for a letter to say they are investigating. I don’t suppose anything will come of it.” “I’ll bring it up next time I am there,” Noah promised. The conversation turned toward more general matters. Tommy didn’t join in much, preferring to concentrate on the baby. Eventually Baby Noah stirred, wrinkling up his face. “I think he might be hungry,” Tommy said, looking over to Susan for help. “I think you might be right.” She got to her feet wearily as the baby let out a loud wail. Noah made a face. “I think that’s our cue to run away. I only like you when you’re quiet,” he said to the baby squalling in Tommy’s arms. The baby cried even louder, ignoring the soothing pats from his babysitters. Susan came over to take Baby Noah. The baby quieted for a bit in his mama’s arms, nuzzling hopefully at her breast. Tommy heaved a sigh of relief. He didn’t mind kids but much preferred them to be quiet. “I’ll see you out,” Emma said as she stood. Saying farewell to Susan and the thankfully quiet baby, the two men followed her out of the room. Opening the front door, Emma smiled at the two men. “It was kind of you to visit, Pastor.” Noah leaned forward and gave her a kiss. “It was my pleasure. Keep me posted on little Noah’s health. God bless.”

132

Sue Brown

She beamed at him, and then, turning to Tommy, she said, “It was a pleasure to see you with the pastor.” Tommy flushed, his color deepening when Noah placed an arm around his shoulders and gave him a quick squeeze. “Hopefully this won’t be the last,” Noah said, a pleased look on his face. As they walked back to the truck, Tommy wondered when he’d become the pastor’s wife. “I’m not your wife,” he said suddenly. Noah looked startled, and then he grinned. “Heck, I hope not. Otherwise I got a lot of explaining to do to my congregation.”

STILL cursing the early start, Tommy pulled up in the yard on Monday morning to discover Simon coming out of the bunkhouse with a couple of new day hands. He didn’t know either of the men, but after a chat with Chuck, he discovered Jeb and Zack, tall, rugged men, brothers, by the looks of them, came recommended by Pete, who’d worked with them across the state. The two men looked to be in their forties, experienced hands who’d had to move on after the spread they were on foreclosed. “Do they know about the ranch?” Tommy asked dubiously. Chuck nodded. “They do. The bosses were blunt and told them everything that happened last year, and the risks they’d be taking on working here.” “And they don’t mind?” Tommy was frankly incredulous. He wasn’t sure he’d be so blasé about working somewhere with a history of trouble. “They said they could handle themselves in a fight, and they didn’t care whether they were working for queers or bigots as long as they got their check at the end of each week. We got one more hand starting, but he’s gonna be a bit late,” Chuck said as he left the kitchen. Tommy frowned. “Thought the bosses were only looking for two hands initially.”

Complete Faith

133

“They were. This one’s a special case. He’ll be bunking here.” Chuck left the kitchen before Tommy could question him on his cryptic response. Tommy poured himself a cup of coffee. He definitely needed the caffeine. If the new hand was staying in the bunkhouse, that meant clearing out the spare room. At the end of a long day digging posts for a new pasture, Tommy was not in the mood for clearing crap. By the time he got back to the yard, he was filthy and sweaty, with blistered hands and a pounding headache. All he wanted was a hot shower and some Advil. His mood was made worse by the fact that an unknown truck was parked in his space in the barn. It was petty, but he cursed the driver anyway. He was heading for the bunkhouse when Luke poked his head out the window of his office and yelled for Tommy to get in there. Gritting his teeth against the desire to tell his boss to get fucked, Tommy changed direction and headed for the house. Inside the office, he stopped short. Someone was sitting in the chair in front of Luke’s desk, but that wasn’t what caught Tommy’s attention. Tommy’s eyes were drawn to the tense lines of Simon’s back as he stared out the window. Luke looked up as Tommy walked in. “Tommy, meet the new hand.” The new hand turned around. It was Lance Mellor, and he was sporting a black eye. “What happened?” Tommy asked before Lance could speak. Lance’s eye was swollen shut, the bruising darkening around it. “I walked into a fist.” “The door was unavailable?” Luke asked wryly. Lance tried to smile, but it just made him wince. “It got nasty. Wade was blowing off steam about you, and I made the mistake of suggesting he calm down.” “He replied with his fist?” Tommy’s own fists were curling in response. “Kyle got in there first. It was stupid of me. I asked for it.” “You asked to be punched?” Luke’s mouth thinned.

134

Sue Brown

“Well, no… but I knew something would happen. They are both animals.” “You should report them to the sheriff,” Luke said. Lance shrugged. “What’s the point? They’d make up some excuse.” “What’s wrong with your shoulder?” Simon asked suddenly. Tommy hadn’t even realized Simon had turned away from the window. “What?” Lance looked confused. “You winced when you shrugged.” “Oh, that. Wade got me by surprise and twisted my arm up behind my back. It’ll be fine after a couple of days.” Luke looked as if he was about to explode. Before he could say anything, Simon said, “Tommy can take you across to the bunkhouse and get you settled in.” As Lance got to his feet, Simon added, “Tommy, you check him out. If he needs Doc Alvarez, come back to the office.” “I’m fine,” Lance protested. Simon ignored him and fixed his attention on Tommy. “Do it.” Tommy nodded and led Lance out of the office. He was still filthy dirty and desperately in need of a shower. He would check Lance out and then get clean. He wasn’t starting on the spare room before then. “Sorry.” Interrupted in his thoughts, Tommy looked over at Lance. “What?” “You were scowling,” Lance explained. “Sorry if I’ve mucked up your afternoon.” Ashamed that his annoyance had been so clearly visible, Tommy said, “You haven’t. I just really need a shower. Been digging post holes all afternoon.” Lance nodded in understanding. “Let’s take a look at you, and you can have some coffee, or sleep on my bed while I get cleaned up. We might need to get some junk out

Complete Faith

135

of your room before you can use it. We’ve just been dumping our crap in there.” “You get your shower, then you can check me out. You’ll feel a whole lot better once you’ve got that dirt out of your hair. No one would believe you’re a redhead at the moment.” Tommy grinned at him. “That dirty, huh?” Lance grinned back, wincing a little as it moved his swollen eye. “You’re gray, dude.” “I feel gray. I’ve got dirt where dirt was never meant to be.” They entered the bunkhouse to find Chuck in the kitchen surrounded by boxes. He looked up as both men entered. “You met the new hand, then.” Tommy nodded. “You been clearing out the spare room?” “Sammy and I did it this afternoon. It should be ready for you, Lance. There’s not much furniture in there aside from a bed and a nightstand, but it’s got a built-in closet. Luke says if you need anything else, you can ask him. There’s plenty of furniture in the bedrooms in the main house.” Chuck looked around at the chaos in the kitchen. “The only decent thing we can do with this lot is to burn it.” Lance looked rather overwhelmed. “Thanks.” “You had a doctor look at that eye?” Chuck asked sternly. “It’s fine.” Lance waved away his concern. “Where else did they hit you?” Tommy asked. “Nowhere,” Lance said quickly—too quickly. He crumpled in the face of the skeptical expression on Tommy’s and Chuck’s faces. “Just a kick or two to the ribs.” “I’m gonna talk to the boss.” This was more than Tommy could handle. Lance held up a hand to stop him. “Wait. I got no insurance at the moment. I can’t afford the doctor.” “Luke will deal with that, son. You can’t work with cracked ribs. Let the doc take a look at you,” Chuck said firmly. Tommy left Lance in Chuck’s hands and headed back to the main house.

136

Sue Brown

Without knocking, Tommy entered the house. He paused before entering the office as he heard Simon’s angry voice. “We’re just asking for trouble.” “What the hell do you expect me to do, Si? I couldn’t turn him away when he asked for help. And we can always use an extra hand. It was hard enough to find hands like Jeb and Zack who are willing to work for the queers.” “But employing Lance Mellor is only going to bring trouble for the ranch. Wade already got his sights on Tommy. It’s not fair to the other hands to ask them to deal with it again.” “So I turn away a gay guy who needs help?” “This is not a fucking gay sanctuary, Luke. It’s our home, and other people work here as well as queers. Why doesn’t he go home to his parents?” Simon’s voice was harder than Tommy had ever heard it. “Maybe because he went to the one place where he knew he’d be safe from prejudice,” Luke said sarcastically. Tommy took a deep breath and knocked on the door. “Yes!” Luke barked out. “It’s me, boss.” Tommy stepped into the office to find Luke and Simon glaring at each other across the desk. Tension virtually radiated in the room. “I think the doc needs to take a look at Lance. He said he was kicked in the ribs while he was on the ground. He’s hiding just how badly he was hurt.” Luke glared at Simon before he answered. “I’ll call him now. You get him settled, and I’ll send him over.” “He’s worried about the insurance.” “I’ll talk to him,” Luke said. “Go and get him sorted and then have a shower.” “I’ll talk to him. Tommy’s waited long enough.” Simon said firmly. “Simon….” Luke sounded hesitant. “Leave it, boss. The boy needs our help.” Simon walked out, not waiting for Luke to respond. Tommy stared helplessly at Luke, who’d slumped back against his desk chair.

Complete Faith

137

“Boss?” Making a visible effort to rein back his temper, Luke said, “Go get your shower. I’ll come over once I’ve called Alvarez.” Tommy hesitated, but Luke waved him away as he reached for the phone. Unhappy but not wanting to cause more problems, Tommy headed back to the bunkhouse. In the kitchen, Simon was inspecting the bruises on Lance’s upper body. The man had been hiding a lot more than a black eye and a sore shoulder. He was bruised all down one side, the darkened skin disappearing down under the waistband of his pants. As Tommy walked in, Lance blushed, obviously embarrassed by the close scrutiny that Simon was paying to his injuries. “What about the rest of you?” Simon asked. “I….” Lance looked over to Tommy. “I’ll go clean up,” Tommy said. The man didn’t need an audience for this. Chuck had already disappeared. “Luke’s gonna be over shortly.” He left them alone as he headed toward the shower. Even under the hot water, Tommy found it hard to get warm. The sight of Lance’s bruised body shook him to the core. He didn’t need to see a more visible sign of the hatred he would face as a gay man. There was nothing he could do to avoid the attitudes of men like Wade and Kyle. They were everywhere. Tommy had spent a decade hiding what he was to avoid hostile attitudes. It had been lonely and painful at times in the face of Luke and Simon’s love, but it had been safe. Soaped and clean, Tommy got out of the shower and headed for his bedroom. He hunted for his cell phone, needing to speak to the one person who could make sense of all this for him.

138

Sue Brown Chapter Seventeen

NORMALLY the only evening activity in the bunkhouse was three cowboys collapsed in front of the TV, but that evening it was a round robin of visitors. Doc Alvarez was the first visitor, who gave a verdict that Lance was damned fortunate to have nothing more serious than heavy bruising. A couple of day’s rest and Lance would be fit for work. Over Lance’s protests, Luke called the sheriff next and informed him of the assault. To Tommy’s surprise, Sheriff Canes drove out to the ranch that evening and took a statement from Lance. It was obvious that he was deeply unhappy at the damage inflicted on the young man after the sheriff’s warning to Wade to keep his nose clean. The next visitor arrived just as Luke was showing the sheriff out to his truck. The boxes had been pushed to one side of the kitchen, and Tommy was cooking sloppy joes for everyone when Noah walked in through the kitchen door. The sight of Noah was the only thing that made sense in the whole damned day as far as Tommy was concerned. The door had barely closed on the sheriff when Tommy leaped on Noah and buried himself in Noah’s arms. Dinner and the world could wait a moment. Noah smelled clean and warm, and the way one hand guided Tommy into him and the other stroked Tommy’s hair was exactly what Tommy needed. Only Chuck coming back into the kitchen disturbed them. Tommy raised his head reluctantly and stepped back. Chuck snorted as he headed for the fridge. “Don’t mind me, boys.” “I won’t,” Noah agreed as he leaned forward for another kiss.

Complete Faith

139

“You gonna cook supper or let it burn?” Chuck asked as he popped the top off a juice bottle. At that point, Tommy didn’t give two hoots if the ground beef ended up being fed to the chickens as long as Noah was in his arms. On the other hand, the ribbing he’d get from Pete and Chuck would be long and endless. He sighed and stepped back to stir the meat. “Where’s Lance?” Noah asked. “He’s talking to Simon,” Chuck said. “I’ll go say hello. Be back in a moment.” Tommy kept his face away from Noah, knowing it would be reflecting just how freaked he was. He felt Noah’s hand stroke down his back. “Is there enough food for me?” Noah asked hopefully. Poking at the mess of ground beef in the pan, Tommy said, “Should be. I cooked for Luke and Simon as well.” “Won’t be long.” Noah dropped a kiss on Tommy’s cheek. Chuck waited ’til Noah had left the kitchen before he spoke. “You all right, son?” Tommy let out a long exhale. “Not really. Scared, y’know? And guilty.” “Cuz Lance got hurt?” “He got hurt because he defended me. Not because they knew he was gay.” “It’s not your fault, Tommy. You know that?” Tommy did know that. It didn’t make him feel any better. He should have taken that beating. Not Lance. He stared down into the frying pan, seeing the bruising on Lance’s torso rather than the food. “Wade Childes is a dumb-ass who likes pulling wings off flies. He was like it as a kid, and he’s not changed.” Chuck tried to sound as soothing as a gruff cowboy could. “But he got hurt because of me. If I hadn’t come out, he would have been fine.” “It would have happened sooner or later.”

140

Sue Brown

Tommy looked up to see Lance in the doorway, supported by Simon. Noah was behind them. “I couldn’t stay there much longer. Wade and Kyle knew I was different, and they remembered the rumors at school.” Simon helped Lance sit at the table. The young man looked wiped out, as if accepting help had taken out the last of his reserves of strength. “You did nothing to deserve that beatin’,” Tommy said. “Well, I know that, idiot.” Lance made a good show of trying to roll his eyes. It looked painful with his black eye, but at least it made everyone chuckle and eased the tension in the room. Luke came back into the kitchen and looked at Tommy. “Smells good enough to eat. Gonna feed us now?” Tommy put his guilt trip on hold for a while. He had other things to do, like feeding hungry cowboys and assorted guests. “This is your job tomorrow,” he said to Lance. “You sure you want to take the risk? I’m not exactly known for my skills in the kitchen.” Chuck snorted. “After you’ve eaten Tommy’s cooking, you won’t be worrying.” “Heh!” Tommy would have disagreed, but it was God’s honest truth. He hated cooking, and what he produced was adequate at best. Adequate it might have been, but after a long day, the sloppy joes disappeared, along with the green beans. Tommy noticed Lance relaxing as no one paid much attention to him beyond the teasing that everyone received. He saw Lance go wideeyed a couple of times when Noah got the same treatment as everyone else. By the time Chuck and Pete were clearing the plates from the table, Lance seemed to be doing his best not to yawn. Luke looked over from where he was leaning up against Simon. “Why don’t you go to bed, Lance? You look tuckered out.” “Uh-hmm,” Lance managed around another yawn. He pushed back his chair and stood, wincing as he stretched bruised muscles.

Complete Faith

141

“Simon or I will be over to see you in the morning,” Luke informed him. Lance waved in acknowledgement and shuffled away to a chorus of “Night, Lance.” When the door closed behind him, the rest of the men stared at each other, grim expressions on their faces. They waited until Lance’s bedroom door closed before they spoke. Simon said what was on everybody’s mind. “He’s lucky to be alive. A few more kicks and he’d have lost a kidney or fractured his ribs.” A shudder went through Tommy, and he leaned closer into Noah. The pastor slid an arm around him and nuzzled into his hair. “Still think buddying up is a bad idea?” Noah murmured into Tommy’s ear. No, dammit! Tommy relaxed against Noah’s body. “Not now,” he agreed. “I’m gonna stick to Jack like flies on shit.” “Nice!” Noah chuckled, pulling Tommy closer against him. “Canes is really pissed off,” Luke said. “He and Wade Senior are buddies. The last thing he wants is to arrest the son of his oldest friend.” “Childes and Canes go all the way back,” Pete agreed. “But Canes has had a change of heart over the last year. I don’t think he’ll let Junior scrape this one off his shoes just because he’s the son of a friend. ’Sides, too many people witnessed his threats to Tommy. Can you imagine Jeannie Benson keeping quiet?” Luke chuckled at the thought. “Jeannie will put two and two together,” he agreed. “Are you all right about Lance being here?” Tommy asked Simon. Tired after the long strenuous day, Tommy wasn’t thinking straight or he wouldn’t have asked the question in front of everyone. He saw the flash of anger in Simon’s eyes and the immediate tension in Luke. “I’m sorry,” Tommy started, but he stopped as Simon shook his head.

142

Sue Brown

“No need. I was wrong to be angry about Lance coming here. If a good hand can’t find a home here for whatever reason, then we’re doing something wrong. And if a gay guy can’t find a home here, then I’ve really fucked up.” “Si….” Luke frowned at his partner. “You were right in a way. This is a working ranch, not a sanctuary for gays.” “No reason why it can’t be a safe place for gay and straight cowboys, boss,” Chuck pointed out. “You two run a good ranch. Not saying you should only employ gay cowboys, otherwise me and Pete might feel a bit outnumbered, but if a cowboy needs help and we can provide it, then I think it’s a good thing.” Chuck looked over at Pete, who nodded in agreement. Luke bit his lip. “You don’t agree, Luke?” Noah asked. “It’s what you’ve done, isn’t it, Pastor?” Chuck asked. “I’ve provided a place where God doesn’t sit in judgment,” Noah agreed. “I don’t want Lost Cow to stop being a working ranch,” Luke said. “We’ve worked too hard to let it slide, and I’m a cowboy, not a politician, or an activist.” Tommy watched as Simon pulled Luke tight against him. “We won’t let the ranch go. I was wrong in the first place. Lance is welcome here, not just cuz he’s gay but because he’s a cowboy who defended one of our own.” Simon smiled over at Tommy. “One of our own who’s struggling to stay awake.” Caught in the middle of another yawn, Tommy flushed guiltily. Squeezing Tommy’s bicep, Noah shifted behind him. “Say good night to me and you can go to bed. And you bunch can keep quiet too.” “Don’t know what you mean, Pastor,” Chuck said. “Thank the Lord for that, my son,” Noah intoned sententiously. Tommy was thankful no one could see the bright red of his face as he exited the kitchen. In his bedroom, Tommy collapsed gratefully onto the bed, closing his eyes as he relaxed. Despite his shower, he was aching from helping to dig the post holes.

Complete Faith

143

Noah sat down next to him and stroked his hair. “It’s late. You need to go to sleep.” As Noah went to get off the bed, Tommy grabbed his hand. “Stay with me awhile,” Tommy begged. “I ought to go home.” “Just a few minutes.” Tommy tugged so that Noah overbalanced and sprawled on top of him with a soft woof as the air rushed out of Noah’s lungs. Unwilling to let him leave, Tommy pushed Noah onto his back and pinned him with one leg. “You really don’t want me to leave, do you?” Noah enfolded him in a hug. For the first time since Tommy had discovered Lance sitting in Luke’s office, he felt able to relax. As he listened to the gentle thud thud of Noah’s heart, the tension and fear gripping Tommy started to ease. He must have been dozing when Noah spoke again. “I’ll need to leave really early, but I could sleep for a few hours if you want.” Tommy wanted, and grunted as much. He also didn’t want to move, but Noah insisted. Reluctantly, Tommy rolled off Noah and began to pull off his clothes, barely opening his eyes. Noah did the same, leaving them in a heap near the door. In under a minute, they were back in bed, Tommy as the baby spoon again. Tommy drifted to sleep with the light touch of a kiss on his shoulder blade. At some unknown hour, Tommy woke as the bed dipped under him. He grumbled, reaching out to find the source of the disturbance. “I got to go, baby. I’ll call you later.” Tommy held on to whatever body part he’d managed to grab and tried to sink back into sleep. “I need my dick, Tom. You’re going to have to let go.” Noah sounded amused rather than annoyed by Tommy’s intervention. The body part in question didn’t seem to be in a rush to leave as it thickened in Tommy’s hand. “Tommy….” Noah sighed, rolling back to hold Tommy and dislodging Tommy’s grip on his cock.

144

Sue Brown

Tommy protested, but Noah made a soothing noise and reached around to hold Tommy’s cock. “If I get you off, will you let me leave?” “Ummm,” Tommy agreed, snuggling back into Noah’s body. Resting between sleep and not-quite-awake, Tommy sank into the feel of Noah’s hand around his cock as he stroked it to full hardness. Noah didn’t tease, but it wasn’t rough, either. Noah’s erection nestled between Tommy’s ass cheeks as he jacked him off, long strokes designed to get him off smoothly. Tommy’s orgasm was as smooth and gentle as the act itself, spilling over Noah’s fingers as Tommy let out a long exhale. He could feel Noah resting his forehead against Tommy’s back, and the feel of Noah’s hard dick, sticky at the tip, brushing against his hole. They hadn’t gotten tested yet. It wasn’t that Tommy needed to, and Noah knew that, too, but it was a sign of trust if they both got the tests done. “Do you want to fuck me?” he asked sleepily. “Always,” Noah said, “but I’ll never leave the bed if I do. You know it knocks me out. I’ll save it up for the weekend.” Hidden by the darkness, Tommy pouted, but it was true. Fucking Tommy always left Noah asleep within a couple of minutes. “I’m going to go, and you are going to get the sleep you need. I’ll call you later.” Tommy felt a kiss on his shoulder, and then a chill as Noah got out of bed. He heard Noah rustling around, but by the time the pastor whispered, “Good night,” Tommy was almost asleep again.

Complete Faith

145 Chapter Eighteen

AFTER the drama of Monday, the rest of the week passed by peacefully. Tommy and Jack were busy erecting fences with the help of the new hands, Jeb and Zack. Both men had proved to be hard workers, if taciturn. Neither of them seemed to want to engage in chatter, even with each other. Lance slept most of the week after Luke told him that he was not starting work until the following Monday. By Thursday, the new hand was cooking evening supper, for which Tommy was very grateful. He had spent most of the week working, eating, and falling into bed. Every muscle aching and completely exhausted, Tommy dozed in front of the TV while the other hands watched a movie. Chuck nudged his arm. “Tommy, phone.” “Huh?” Tommy blinked as he was nudged again. “Phone.” “Huh?” “Jeez!” Chuck leaned forward and picked up Tommy’s cell. “Hi, Noah. Yes, he’s fine. Just asleep on the sofa. He couldn’t work out which brain cell he needed to open his eyes. Is he awake now? I’m not sure. Tommy?” Tommy managed to open his eyes and scowl at Chuck. “Yeah, the lights are on. Not sure there’s anybody home, though.” “Give me that,” Tommy hissed as his body protested that it didn’t want to move. Making a show of reluctance, Chuck handed over the cell phone. Pete rolled his eyes while Lance chuckled.

146

Sue Brown

Tommy poked his tongue out before he answered Noah. “Hey,” he muttered, standing and walking out of the room before he attracted more abuse. “Hey, you sound wiped out.” Tommy leaned up against the wall in the hallway. “I am. It’s been a long week.” “Tell me about it.” “What can I do you for?” Tommy asked. He started walking toward his bedroom, so tired it was a temptation just to fall asleep against the wall. “I’ve got to go and see my parents on Sunday, and then Brandon has asked me to spend a couple of days with them.” “Oh.” Tommy stopped walking as he tried to process Noah’s words. He wasn’t entirely sure what his response should be. Was he supposed to invite himself along too? Damn his fuzzy brain. “Do you mind?” “Do I mind?” Tommy wasn’t sure. What was he meant to mind? He heard Noah sigh. “Go to bed, Tom. We’ll have this conversation again when you’re awake.” “Okay.” Tommy nodded even though Noah couldn’t see. That seemed like a fine idea. Giving up on the movie—he wasn’t even sure what they were watching—Tommy went into his bedroom and collapsed on the bed with a grateful groan. “Does that feel better, Tom?” Tommy stared stupidly at the phone. He hadn’t realized Noah was still there. “Huh?” “If we talk tomorrow, could your brain be present, babe?” “Huh?” “Night, Tom. Sleep well.” Tommy frowned. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was on the bed, but sleeping seemed like a really good idea.

Complete Faith

147

WAKING up to loud banging on his bedroom door was a really miserable way to start the day. His head still full of fuzz, Tommy growled at the noise. He shuffled over, throwing the door open, intending to chew out the person who had woken him up, and nearly received a punch in the face for his efforts when he flung open the door to discover Pete about to knock again. “Morning, sunshine. Time to get up. Oh, you’re dressed. Well, still dressed.” Tommy quit glaring at Pete long enough to look down. He’d obviously failed to get undressed the previous night. “Jack’s leaving in fifteen minutes. You’ve got that long to get some coffee and breakfast, and he says to get a move on.” “Oh, fuck.” Pete frowned at him. “Do you want me to take your place for a couple of hours? I can see how exhausted you are.” What Tommy wanted was to be left alone for at least three weeks while he caught up on his sleep. He wasn’t sure why Pete was still staring at him. “Jeez, you look like shit. Go back to bed.” “Bed?” Tommy liked the idea of bed much more than standing. Pete steered him in the direction of the bed and pushed him down. “Go to sleep. I’ll talk to Luke and get someone to cover your shift.” “But….” “Go to sleep, Tommy. It’s fine.” Still wearing his clothes, Tommy went back to sleep. At some point he noticed that someone had left him a bottle of water and some pills on the nightstand. Tommy looked at them and decided sleep was more important. He woke up again to the sound of gentle knocking on the door. Tommy had to swallow hard a couple of times to get his throat to work, but eventually he managed to rasp, “Yeah?” “Hey.” Tommy blinked blearily at Noah. “What are you doing here?”

148

Sue Brown

Even in his fevered state, Tommy could see that Noah looked gorgeous in a light cream shirt and navy sweater. “Heard my cowboy is sick, and as he’s not returning my calls, I thought I’d check it out.” Noah sat down on the bed. “You’ve been calling me?” “Never mind. Do you need a drink of water?” Tommy nodded, wishing he hadn’t as his head started pounding. “Here.” Noah helped him to sit up and then offered a couple of pills and a drink from the bottle. “Lie back down again and let me undress you. Momma’s itching to get in here, but I think you’d rather I did it, hmmm?” “I just need to sleep,” Tommy said, wanting to be left alone. Noah kissed his temple. “I know, baby. Let me get you undressed, and I’ll leave you alone.” Tommy tried to roll over onto his back and look up at Noah. The light hurt his eyes. Noah seemed to realize this because he got up and shut the drapes, muting the winter sunlight. “That better?” Noah asked as he carefully sat back down. “Ummm.” Tommy enjoyed Noah’s hand gently stroking his head. Tommy wasn’t so keen on being moved while Noah undressed him down to his boxers, but he had to admit he felt better once he was snuggled under the covers again. “You get some sleep, babe.” Another kiss brushed Tommy’s temple, and then he felt Noah get off the bed. He cracked open one eye. “Noah, can you ask Momma not to come in? I just need to sleep.” “I know you do. I’ll ask her to come back later.” Tommy sighed and went back to sleep, the fuzziness in his head taking over again.

THE trouble with losing Friday and Saturday, Tommy discovered, was that he wasn’t well enough to go to church, and he lost Noah for at least

Complete Faith

149

another four days, possibly a week. Somewhere in the haziness of the flu, he’d forgotten that Noah was going away for a few days. Noah didn’t have time to see him on Sunday before he left, and Tommy had to make do with a hurried call before Noah left to get lunch at his parents’ house. Sulking a little, Tommy got up to socialize with Chuck and Pete but gave up after an hour and went back to bed. By the time Monday arrived, Tommy was feeling much better. He got up at the usual time to join the weekly meeting in the kitchen. At least, he thought he felt better. Simon looked at him dubiously. “You still look like shit. Go back to bed.” “I look better than he does,” Tommy argued, pointing at Lance, who was dressed for work. “Ya think? At least Lance is standing on his own two feet. You’re still propped up against the wall,” Chuck said. Luke nodded. “You’re still gray, Tommy. You can’t work today.” Scowling at everyone around the table, Tommy gave up and headed for the first cup of coffee he’d had since the previous Thursday. “Lance can go out with Jack today,” Luke suggested. “The fences need finishing off.” Jack groaned loudly. “I had them all last week, boss.” As he poured himself the coffee, Tommy noticed the brothers didn’t look too pleased, either. He couldn’t blame them. Building new fences was backbreaking work. The ranch foreman shook his head. “Pete and Sammy, finish the fences. Chuck, you can take Jack, Jeb, and Zack to check the pregnant cows, and Lance and I’ll do the horses, chickens, and ride fence. Lance needs to take it easy, and I want to show him the ranch. Lance can work with me this week. Tommy, I know you’re anxious to get back, but not until you look like you can stand upright.” There was a mini cheer from Jack and the brothers, and groans from Pete and Sammy. Tommy opened his mouth to argue but shut it again at the expression on Luke’s face.

150

Sue Brown

“Don’t worry, Tommy, we’ll suffer your cooking tonight. That’ll give you something to do,” Chuck said helpfully. “Lance can give you lessons,” Pete added. “Abuse Tommy on your own time,” Luke snapped. “We’ve got work to do.” They all muttered apologies, and Tommy knew he wasn’t the only one taken aback by Luke’s uncharacteristic bad humor. Simon seemed oblivious, though, as he smiled at the new hand and suggested they get moving. As everyone dispersed to their duties, Tommy caught Luke frowning again as he stared at Simon. He wasn’t happy about something. Normally the boss didn’t mind if the foreman changed the duties. That was his role. Something else had gotten Luke’s panties in a wad. Disconsolately, Tommy watched out of the kitchen window as the men dispersed to their jobs. As Simon and Lance disappeared toward the stables, Tommy saw Luke standing on the porch steps, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. He looked angry, he looked… jealous! Uh-oh. The boss was in a snit about Simon’s interest in the new hand. Tommy suppressed a grin as he turned away from the window. Should he warn Lance about the boss’s possessive streak? It might be a good idea. The poor boy had been traumatized enough over the last few days. He didn’t need any more drama. The smile slid off Tommy’s face. What was he going to do with himself while everybody else was working? It wasn’t like he could call Noah. Tommy slumped down on the sofa and reached for the remote. It was going to be a long, long day. Maybe the bosses had a point. At some stage in the morning of daytime TV hell, Tommy drifted off to sleep again. He was sick of sleeping, but the flu had really knocked the stuffing out of him. He woke up in the middle of the afternoon, in time to start the hands’ supper. His cell rang as he was contemplating the contents of the fridge. It was a toss-up between stew and steaks. At least with stew, he could put it all in a pot and leave it. If he tried steak and fell asleep, the results could be disastrous.

Complete Faith

151

It took Tommy a couple of rings to place the noise. His brain had been completely scrambled by the flu. “Hello?” “Hey, Tom. How are you?” A smile broke over Tommy’s face just hearing Noah’s warm, velvety voice. “Hey, I’m kinda okay. Still tired. How ’bout you? Did you have a good trip?” “Fine, fine. I’m at Brandon and Kevin’s now.” “How is Kevin?” “He’s out of hospital and going for rehab.” Tommy could hear the relief in Noah’s voice. “That’s fantastic news.” “I know, and there’s even better news. They’re thinking of moving down near me once Kevin has finished rehab. They can’t wait to meet you.” Tommy wasn’t sure that was such great news, but he wasn’t going to rain on Noah’s parade, not when he sounded so pleased. “That’s great, Noah. Listen, I’m going to have to go. I’ve got to cook for everyone, and the way my head is, I need to think about it.” “Okay.” Noah sounded disappointed as he said good-bye. Keen to get off the phone, Tommy spent the next five minutes staring at the spices rather than starting the cooking. He was being stupid, he knew that. There was no reason to have a freak-out about Noah’s old friends coming down. “Are you all right, Tommy?” “Huh?” Tommy looked over his shoulder to see Luke staring at him, a worried expression on his face. Luke walked over and laid a hand on his shoulder. “You’re really out of it. I’ve called you twice.” Tommy resisted the urge to lean up against him. “Noah’s friends are coming down to live near him,” Tommy blurted out. “And you’re worried that they might not like you and he’ll dump you.”

152

Sue Brown

“Well… yes.” When Luke put it like that, it sounded ridiculous. Luke gently squeezed Tommy’s shoulder. “Relax. Noah is crazy about you, and all he wants is to show you off to his friends.” “But….” “No buts.” “But….” “Tommy, the only person you have to worry about is Noah.” “Promise?” Luke huffed impatiently. “This is your first relationship. You don’t know what is going to happen. But that man thinks the sun shines out of your butt.” “Nice,” Tommy said drily. “I’d knock you on the head for being a dumb-ass, but you’d likely fall over.” “Probably would at the moment,” Tommy agreed. “Thanks, Luke.” “No worries. Now, more important, do you want me to bring over one of Momma’s pies for supper? I don’t trust you near the stove.” “I don’t trust me near the stove at the moment.” Tommy collapsed thankfully onto one of the kitchen chairs. Luke headed for the yard door, pausing as he turned the handle. “I’ll cook if you clean up. I ain’t doing that.” “Done,” Tommy agreed wearily. He laid his head in his arms, intending to rest while he waited for Luke to come back. The sound of someone laughing woke him up. Raising his head, Tommy saw that Chuck was already in the kitchen, completing a crossword puzzle from his book. Luke was serving up supper. Chuck looked up from his puzzle. “Look, Sleeping Beauty has decided to wake up.” Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Tommy said, “Can’t believe I fell asleep again. You’d think I had enough sleep these last few days.”

Complete Faith

153

Luke looked over from where he was dishing the hot biscuits onto a plate. “Just glad you woke up by yourself, Tommy, otherwise I’d have to get one of the dwarves to kiss you.” Chuck visibly shuddered. “I’m not sure whether I’m insulted more by the idea of kissing Tommy or being called a dwarf.” “Why is Chuck kissing Tommy?” Simon came into the kitchen from the yard, Lance hot on his heels. Tommy looked over at Luke, unsurprised to see a frown on his face as he got more plates out of the cupboard. “Where’s Pete?” Simon asked. “He’s gone out with Jack and Sammy,” Luke said as he handed the plates to Chuck. Tommy yawned loudly, stretching to try to relieve his shoulder muscles that had stiffened up while he slept hunched over the kitchen table. “You boys wash up. Chuck and Tommy can help me set the table,” Luke ordered. “Si, do you want to shower and change?” “Yeah, how long have I got? “’Bout ten minutes if you go now.” “I’ll finish up, boss, if you want,” Tommy offered. “You could eat at the main house.” “Is that Momma’s pie?” Simon peered around Tommy. “If that’s Momma’s pie, I’m eating here. Lance, have you tried Momma’s cooking yet?” “Not yet. I’ve been waiting for the chance. They even talk about her cooking on my old ranch.” “I’ll lay odds that was old Tony,” Chuck said as he passed around the knives and forks. Lance grinned. “It was. He said he used to work here.” “Up until I took over.” There was a grim look on Luke’s face. “Then he decided he couldn’t work in a place where Satan walked.” “There were a few like him,” Simon said. “Good riddance to them,” Chuck said tersely. “Are we ready to eat? I’m ‘bout ready to eat a horse.”

154

Sue Brown

Getting to his feet, Lance smiled at Simon. “You go first, Si. I want to get changed before we eat.” “Deal.” Luke watched Simon following Lance out of the kitchen. If looks could kill. Tommy bit his lip at the dark look on Luke’s face. He really needed to have a word with Lance. No one called Simon anything other than boss or Simon. Luke was the only one to call him Si. “You got five minutes. Then I’m serving up,” Luke declared. Tommy caught Chuck’s eye. The older hand shook his head slightly. Luke was being a dumb-ass. Hopefully he’d realize it soon enough. Just before bedtime, Lance decided to make hot chocolate for Tommy, Chuck, and Pete. Waking from another doze, Tommy discovered he’d slept away the evening again. Lance offered him the chocolate. “You sure you don’t need to see the doc, Tommy?” “I did see him, I think,” Tommy said wearily. “End of last week when he came over to see you. I was asleep, but Luke asked him to take a look at me. Just flu. I’ll be fine in a few days.” “Good thing you’re around,” Pete said to Lance. “We need the extra hands at the moment.” A frown furrowed Lance’s brow. “Have I done something to upset Luke? He was really good to me last week, but now, every time I look at him, he looks pissed.” Chuck snorted into his cup. “It’s not you he’s pissed at, son. It’s Simon.” Lance looked confused. “Si? What’s he done?” “That right there. Don’t call him Si. Only Luke does that,” Tommy said. Nodding in agreement, Chuck said, “Luke’s a possessive idiot where Simon’s concerned. Simon only has to look at another guy and Luke’s ready to lay them out.” “But I have a boyfriend,” Lance protested. “I’m not interested in Simon. I’ve been talking about him all day.”

Complete Faith

155

“To Simon. Does Luke even know you’ve got a boyfriend?” Pete asked. It was Lance’s turn to snort. “What do I do? Go up to Luke and say ‘I don’t want your boyfriend, boss, because I’ve got my own’?” He’d obviously meant it ironically, but Pete nodded. “Talk about him. It might be enough to call off the dogs. Luke’s a great boss, but he’s got a huge blind spot where Simon is concerned.” Chuck slurped some more of his drink before he spoke. “Luke’s gonna piss on his leg sooner or later. Just warning you.” Wide-eyed, Lance stared at Chuck. “You mean…?” “Luke tends to make his claim in a very public way.” Tommy couldn’t quite control the shiver of excitement at the thought. Chuck gave him a disgusted look. “Just be prepared, that’s all. And get your boyfriend down here. Luke’ll stop scowling at you then.”

156

Sue Brown Chapter Nineteen

FRIDAY night, Tommy was feeling better for the first time in over a week, and his sock was stuck behind the washing machine. It was fucking typical when Tommy was in a hurry to see Noah. By leaning over the machine, he managed to retrieve the sock. Making a face at the sock, now covered in lint, Tommy gave it a sharp shake and sat down to put it on. The yard door banged open and Lance came in, looking a little wild around the eyes. “You okay?” Tommy asked as he rolled the sock over his foot. “Don’t go into the barn just yet.” Tommy raised his eyebrows. “Wasn’t planning to, but why not?” “Luke and Simon are… busy.” Lance’s hands were visibly trembling as he reached for a can of Dr Pepper. “Ah.” Tommy recognized that look. “Luke’s staking his claim?” Lance shook his head. “Simon is—loudly. I think Simon is making his point.” “Did they see you?” Tommy asked. “Don’t think so but can’t be sure. Like I said, they were real loud.” “Ask Luke if he wants to go for a ride tomorrow,” Tommy suggested. Lance paused as he went to take a sip of his drink. “Why? He won’t be able to sit down for a week, let alone ride.” “I know. He’ll know that you saw them.”

Complete Faith

157

“Jeez. It would have been less painful to have pissed on Simon’s leg.” Tommy laughed. “It won’t be the last time. The bosses tend to get carried away. Make sure you’re not around on a Sunday.” “What happens on a Sunday?” “They like having the ranch to themselves. The rest of us find other things to do.” Tommy managed sock-clad feet. Now he had to look for his boots. “It looks like there’s a motherfucker of a storm brewing,” Lance said. “You going to see Noah?” Tommy beamed at him. “Yeah. He got back home last night.” Tommy was desperate to see Noah, and judging by the growl that had been creeping into Noah’s voice during the week, that desperation was returned. Storm or no storm, he was getting over to see his man. The yard door opened, and Sammy poked his head in. “Tommy, Simon says to move it or you’ll get caught in the storm.” He left again without waiting for a response. “They must have finished being busy.” Tommy grabbed his duffel and looked around. “I’m goin’. If I can find where I left my keys.” “My boyfriend is coming down tomorrow,” Lance said, handing him a bunch of keys lying near the kettle. “We’ll see you at church on Sunday if the roads are okay.” “I’d better warn Chuck and Pete to find something else to do tomorrow night,” Tommy teased, chuckling as warmth flooded Lance’s face. Nearly two weeks of living on the Lost Cow had wrought a huge change in the young hand. As he admitted to Tommy, he wasn’t scared all the time that he might say something or do something that would shriek to the world that he was gay. Living in fear for months had left Lance stressed and depressed, to the point he’d found it difficult to get up or do his work. The only reason he hadn’t run back to his boyfriend was the pressure from his parents to stay close. Now that he could relax, Lance actually enjoyed working out in the fields again. “I’ve missed him,” Lance admitted, once he’d stopped blushing. “Your boyfriend?”

158

Sue Brown

Lance rolled his eyes. “No, Chuck. Yes, my boyfriend. I haven’t seen him for three months. He stayed with my parents the last time he was down. Wade refused to let me have a friend stay on the ranch. Doesn’t apply to the women,” Lance said bitterly. “He lets any old skank stay overnight.” “Do your parents know about you and…?” Tommy realized he’d forgotten the name of Lance’s boyfriend. “Marco. No, they know we’ve been friends since freshman year, but they don’t know that we’re together.” “That must be hard.” Lance rubbed his face. “I miss him so much. And my life. I was studying to be a lawyer. Then the ranch went under and the money dried up.” “Wasn’t there any way to get scholarships or a grant?” “Not for this year. My parents don’t know it, but I’ve reapplied for September. Marco says he’ll wait for me.” Tommy saw the softness in Lance’s eyes. “You really love him.” “I do. I never thought we’d stay together for so long, but he loves me just as much.” “Is he studying law as well?” Lance shook his head. “He’s going to be a doctor.” Tommy whistled. “You two have a long road ahead of you.” “Yeah, we do. If I can just get through the next nine months without getting beaten up.” “There is that. What did Marco say when you told him what happened?” “He doesn’t know, and I don’t intend to tell him. Marco’s huge. Really huge. And with a big Italian temper. If he hears about me being hurt, he won’t stop at beating the crap out of Kyle and Wade.” Tommy stared at Lance. “How are you going to explain the marks on your body?” The hand shrugged. He had at least managed to stop wincing every time he made an unguarded move. “I’ll say I fell off a horse or something.”

Complete Faith

159

“And everyone else? Are you going to ask them to keep quiet too?” “Oh, fuck, I hadn’t thought about that.” Tommy gave him a wry grin. “You’d better get your story straight; otherwise you’re going to be in trouble.” Lance grinned back. “I’m a lawyer. I’ll think of something.” There was a knock on the yard door. Lance opened it. “Lance, you seen Tommy? His truck’s still here.” Simon loomed in the doorway, taking up most of the space. His face was set in a tight frown. Tommy said, “I’m here, boss. Just about to leave.” “Didn’t Sammy find you? I told him to tell you to get a move on. The storm’s gonna hit soon, and they’re predicting a bad one.” “I’m goin’ now.” He’d been saying that for the past half hour. If he didn’t go now, it wouldn’t be worth going. The roads were good to St. Mark’s, but he still hated being caught in a storm. Tommy headed for the door. Simon stepped back to let him go. As Tommy passed him, he could smell the acrid scent of male sweat. Someone had been working hard. Suppressing the urge to make a comment, Tommy headed for the barn where the trucks were kept. The sky was clear at the moment, but that was no guarantee for the rest of the journey. He drove out of the yard, praying that he hadn’t left it too late. They were only predicting rain, not snow, but that didn’t mean to say there might not be the odd twister or two to go with it.

GOD was obviously listening to Tommy, because he was within fifteen minutes of St. Mark’s before the rain hit. He’d watched the clouds building on the horizon with apprehension, but the skies stayed clear and the winds light until he was almost there. Noah called his cell just as the first heavy drops spattered on the windshield. “Where are you, baby? It’s raining bad here.” “Not far now,” Tommy said. “It’s getting dark, and the rain’s just started.”

160

Sue Brown

“Drive safe. I’ll look out for you.” By the time Tommy was on the outskirts of the town, he was driving at a snail’s pace and the wipers were making little impact on the continual torrent of water streaming down the glass. Tommy was used to the local weather, but still, he was relieved to see the familiar outline of the small church. The rain was so heavy he almost missed the turn into the parking lot. He drove to the far end, closest to Noah’s small house, and put the truck in park. Tommy nearly jumped out of his skin when his door opened. He hadn’t realized Noah was there, umbrella at the ready. “Come on,” Noah urged, “let’s get inside.” Grabbing his duffel, Tommy got out of the truck and huddled under the umbrella with Noah. They ran to Noah’s house, their pants getting soaked from the water splashing up. Once inside, Noah led the way to the kitchen and dropped the umbrella in the kitchen sink. Both men were soaked despite the short distance and the shelter of the umbrella. “Let’s get undressed and under blankets. Then I can give you a proper greeting,” Noah suggested. That sounded like an excellent idea, and Tommy took off his jacket. They stripped where they stood, grinning at each other. Noah pointed to the washing machine for Tommy’s clothes, and produced a robe for him. It was a soft, dark green robe that was now for Tommy’s use when he came to stay, and Tommy was very pleased to wear it. His skin was covered in goose bumps, and he was shivering. Noah slipped on his burgundy robe, and his clothes ended up in the machine with Tommy’s. “I have hot chocolate already made,” Noah said as he headed for a pan on the stove. Within a few minutes, Tommy was huddled under a brown fleece blanket, clutching a cup of hot chocolate. Outside the rain beat heavy patterns against the window, and Tommy thanked God he’d made it safely. Noah refused to talk until Tommy had finished his drink and stopped shivering. Then he went back for refills, putting them on the coffee table and snuggling back under the blanket.

Complete Faith

161

Tommy gave his boyfriend a quizzical look as he sat down. “Now can I say hello to you?” “Now you can,” Noah agreed. “Come here.” He leaned forward, cupping a hand around Tommy’s neck, and kissed him sweetly. Sighing into the kiss, Tommy relaxed in Noah’s embrace. This was everything he had been missing for two weeks. Noah was warm, solid, and real in his arms. The flu had left him disconnected and out of sorts with the world, which had been exacerbated by Noah’s absence the past few days. There were slow kisses initially, a reconnection after their two weeks apart. Noah’s lips were warm and sweet under his own, tasting of sugar and the bitterness of the chocolate. Tommy pushed closer, needing more now. His cock hardened as his senses were filled with Noah, the taste, touch, and feel of him. Under the blanket, Tommy felt Noah’s fingers explore along the edge of his robe, seeking his bare skin. Tommy thrilled to his touch, feeling alive for the first time since he became ill. As Noah traced along Tommy’s hipbones, he drew back from their kissing to frown a little. “You’ve lost weight,” he said disapprovingly. He pulled back a little farther to push open Tommy’s robe and look down their bodies. Moaning at the loss of contact, Tommy looked down between their bodies. He was thinner because he’d barely eaten while he’d been ill. Even the prospect of Momma’s cooking hadn’t really tempted him. However, what he was more concerned about was the fact that his lover was now telling him off rather than kissing him. “Can we worry ’bout that later?” he grumbled. “Kiss me.” Noah didn’t pay attention immediately, still concentrating on the way Tommy’s hipbones jutted out a little more now. About to complain again, Tommy noticed the touch of Noah’s fingers had turned into a caress that was having a direct effect on Tommy’s cock. He looked down again, this time noticing that his dick was really damn interested in what was going on, the head glistening as pre-come seeped from the slit. Noah’s gaze was fixed on it, too, and that made Tommy even harder.

162

Sue Brown

“Fuck!” Noah traced along one sharp hipbone to tangle briefly in the red curls framing Tommy’s cock. Tommy wanted to close his eyes, to throw his head back and savor the sensation of Noah’s fingers on his body, but he wanted to watch as well, to see everything that Noah did to him. Noah’s fingers moved on with their search, this time traveling gently down the length of Tommy’s dick. “More,” Tommy begged, needing more than just a gentle touch now. He pushed impatiently at Noah’s robe, desperate to see that gorgeous skin against his own. Noah cottoned on, and they both got rid of the robes, throwing them to one side as they got back under the blanket. Noah was better than any robe; he was warm and soft, and Tommy really wanted to feel Noah’s dick inside him. Tommy wasn’t above begging for a deep dicking. The lights flickered as Noah was kissing down Tommy’s neck. Initially Tommy thought it was the sparks going off behind his eyes at Noah’s hot, openmouthed kisses, but when Noah raised his head and said, “We’re gonna lose power soon,” he realized it was something much more prosaic. He didn’t care. Noah was all the heat he needed. Now Noah started moving down Tommy’s body, leaving goose bumps in his wake as he followed some random pattern. At his questioning murmur, Noah laughed. “I love your freckles. I’m gonna kiss each and every one of them.” Tommy blushed, and that made Noah laugh again. By the time Noah reached Tommy’s belly button, Tommy was lying back against the cushions, begging Noah to quit dicking around and fuck him. Noah raised an eyebrow at the command. “Quit dicking and fuck you? Isn’t that impossible?” “Fine,” Tommy growled. “I’ll get myself off if you don’t want to help.” His hands had been resting on Noah’s shoulders. Now he wrapped one hand around his cock and inched the other behind his

Complete Faith

163

balls. Noah took Tommy’s hands and firmly placed them over his head on the back of the sofa. “I’ll get you off, if you’re a good boy and wait your turn,” Noah promised. Tommy couldn’t help the moan that left his lips, and that made the bastard laugh. “What do you want, baby? Do you want to come in my mouth or come with my cock in your ass?” “Can’t I have both?” Noah laughed again. “Tell you what. I’ll come in your ass, and then you can come down my throat.” Tommy wanted to quit with the discussing and get on with the action. He said so pointedly. “Keep your hands over your head,” Noah ordered as he leaned back and started fumbling around behind him. Tommy was about to ask what the hell he thought he was doing when Noah made an aha noise under his breath. “Supplies,” he informed Tommy, waving a couple of foil packets, and then he stopped and just stared at Tommy. It was disconcerting to be under that intense gaze. So disconcerting, in fact, that Tommy started to move away. “Hands where they are,” Noah ordered, then he huffed as he moved so that he was between Tommy’s legs. Tommy wanted to protest at being the object of all that attention, but he wanted Noah’s hands on him even more. Noah touched him everywhere: his biceps, tugging lightly at the hair under his arms, skimming his fingers over the soft skin of his sides. It was torture and it was connection. Tommy’s cock was so hard, his balls drawn up tight, ready for release, but Noah had told him he couldn’t come until Noah had come inside him. He felt exposed and vulnerable, even worse when Noah spread Tommy’s legs, pushing them up to rest his feet on the sofa. The lube was cold against his hole, and Tommy flinched, but the feel of Noah pressing one finger inside him was everything he’d been

164

Sue Brown

waiting for. Noah prepared him until Tommy was bearing down on his fingers and clenching damn hard. “Fuck me. I’ve been patient long enough.” It wasn’t exactly begging, but it was the closest Tommy could come to it. The loss of Noah’s fingers made him whimper, but then he was being filled up, Noah’s cock pressing into him, and Tommy’s body welcomed him. “Remember, you don’t come until you’re in my mouth.” Heh! Noah had no hope of making him wait that long. Tommy lay back, feeling the weft and weave of the fabric against his back. Finally, he closed his eyes against the feel of everything except Noah’s hard cock in his ass. Noah grunted as he snapped his hips into Tommy, his involuntary noises filling Tommy’s senses. Tommy could feel the slide of lube and rubber, and that was enough, his balls drew tight and…. Tommy’s eyes flew open. Noah was looking at him, a tight grin across his face. “Wait your turn,” Noah said, and his eyes rolled back as he reached his climax. But his fingers were still clamped around Tommy’s dick. Still in shock at having his orgasm denied, Tommy waited for Noah to work through his own. Then Noah pulled out, and he dropped to his knees in front of Tommy. Three fingers replaced Noah’s dick in his ass, and a warm, wet mouth clamped over Tommy’s dick. Tommy came with a loud scream, and the world blacked out. When he opened his eyes, Tommy discovered the world had literally blacked out. Noah pulled away long enough to light a candle on the table. The flickering flame cast a warm light over them. Outside the rain beat hard against the window, and inside, Tommy’s heart followed the same beat as he recovered from his orgasm. “Christ,” he said dazedly. “Amen,” Noah murmured in agreement from where he rested against Tommy’s thigh.

Complete Faith

165 Chapter Twenty

ANTICIPATING the power outage, Noah had already cooked the dinner, which was keeping warm in the Crock-Pot. “You must have been an awesome Boy Scout,” Tommy said around a mouthful of stew. They were curled up under the blanket as they ate dinner. “I was,” Noah agreed, “and it’s come in handy living here.” “Did your mom teach you to cook?” Noah laughed. “My mom could burn water. My dad, though, he’s the real cook in the family. He used to make the food on the weekend and freeze it so that my mom could cook for me and my brother. Otherwise we would have been eating pizza and fried chicken every day of the week.” “My mom is a good cook,” Tommy said quietly. “Have you spoken to her at all since you came out?” “No. I didn’t expect to. They reacted exactly as I thought they would.” Noah put his plate on the coffee table and took Tommy’s as well. “Let me cuddle you for a minute.” “My supper,” Tommy protested. “Can wait. Cuddling you can’t.” Tommy was gathered into a comforting cuddle, his head resting against Noah’s shoulder, but nice as it was, he was hungry. “Have we cuddled enough yet?” Tommy asked. “My dinner’s getting cold.” “Turned down in favor of food.” Noah huffed, his breath blowing across Tommy’s hair. “I thought you loved me.”

166

Sue Brown

“Hold that thought for another five minutes,” Tommy said, and then Noah’s words hit him. He paused as he reached for his plate. “Do you?” Noah asked casually, only it was too casual. The answer was really important to Noah. Tommy put the plate back on the table and looked at him, the candlelight providing little indication of Noah’s thoughts. “I don’t know. I’ve never….” He took a deep breath. “Before you there was only what I felt for Luke. I thought I was in love with him, but I don’t feel the same for you as I did for him.” “What do you feel about Luke now?” “He’s hot, but he never even looked at me. You, you look at me. Make me feel things I’ve never felt before. I miss you when we’re apart, and can’t keep my hands off you when we’re together.” “Except when you’re hungry,” Noah pointed out, but he had a slight smile curving his lips. “I know that I want to be with you all the time.” Tommy bit his lip. “I want to live with you, not just see you twice a week. Is that love?” “Sounds like love to me,” Noah said. “I feel the same way. Here, finish your dinner.” He handed Tommy his plate. Tommy took a few more mouthfuls, but his appetite had been killed by the conversation. Eventually he put the plate down and looked at Noah, who was pushing his stew around the plate. “Was that the wrong answer?” he asked quietly. “No. Most people would have said ‘I love you’ right away. You have to think about it. That’s why I love you, Tommy. You don’t give the easy answers.” “You love me cuz I’m difficult?” “I love you because you’re a hot cowboy who doesn’t fuck around,” Noah corrected. Tommy wasn’t exactly sure how to take that. On the one hand, he was pleased to be called hot, even if Noah did need his eyes tested, and on the other… oh heck…. Tommy made sure both plates were safely on the table before he hauled Noah into a kiss, a long, no-messingaround kiss. He wasn’t sure whether this conversation had resolved anything, but it was enough to know that Noah loved him and needed him.

Complete Faith

167

TOMMY’S first thought on waking was hot! He was stifling because Noah was wrapped around him so tightly Tommy couldn’t move. Wriggling, Tommy managed to free one arm and stroke Noah’s smooth back. “Noah?” he whispered. “I need to move.” Noah grunted in his ear. Tommy took a deep breath. One of Noah’s knees was pressing on his bladder, and he really needed to go to the bathroom. Wriggling again, he managed to slide out from underneath Noah and free himself. Noah made a protesting noise but didn’t wake up. “I’ll be back in a minute.” Tommy pressed a kiss on Noah’s temple and headed for the bathroom. It was murky gray in the house, and a quick peek behind the drapes of the hall window showed Tommy it was the same in the outside world. It had stopped raining, but heavy dark clouds scudded overhead. Definitely a day for climbing back into bed. Noah was still asleep when he returned. Trying not to disturb him, Tommy slid under the covers as carefully as he could only to be pinned down again as Noah enfolded himself around Tommy’s body. “You’re too cold,” Noah grumbled, but he didn’t move away. “Sorry.” Tommy snuggled into his warm boyfriend and closed his eyes. He heard a contented grunt from Noah, and then he dozed off. The next time he woke up, it was to the sound of his ringtone. Reluctant to move from under the duvet, Tommy fumbled on the nightstand for his cell phone and drew it back into the warmth of the bedcovers. “Ummm,” he managed. “Tommy? Sorry to disturb your weekend, son, but we need you back here as soon as possible.” Rubbing at his eyes, Tommy sat up. “Chuck? What’s happened?” “The creek burst last night and flooded the pastures. Luke went out with Jeb and Zack to survey the cattle, but they lost contact. The boys are back, but we have no idea where Luke is. Simon’s calling all the hands in.”

168

Sue Brown

Tommy was out of the bed and heading toward his clothes before Chuck had finished speaking. “I’m on my way. Do you want me to pick up Greg and Pamela? They shouldn’t be driving.” “Jack and Liz are fetching them. I called Bud. He’s on his way with the old hands.” “How long has he been missing?” “About four hours. The boys went out early.” God! The pastures were flooded. Luke could have been caught by a flash flood. “Did they go out on the quads or horses?” “Horses. Lulu’s not returned, either.” Disturbed by the talking, Noah rolled over and blinked sleepily at him. He must have seen the worry on Tommy’s face. “What’s happened?” he mouthed. “Luke’s missing,” Tommy said briefly. Flinging back the covers, Noah headed for the chest. “I’m coming with you.” “We’ll be on our way in ten,” Tommy said to Chuck. “Okay, if I hear any more, I’ll let you know.” Throwing his cell on the bed, Tommy dug in his duffel for clean boxers. He started to say, “You don’t have to come,” but he stopped when Noah glared at him. “Luke’s one of my flock. Of course I’m fucking coming with you.” Tommy leaned over and kissed Noah. “Sorry, that was a stupid thing to say.” Even the old pastor, Jim, would have been out the second he heard. “Old clothes, Noah. You’re gonna get dirty.” Noah rolled his eyes. “I’m not blond, Tom. I’ve worked on ranches before.” “I didn’t know that.” “Yeah, a time or two during college. Figured if I was gonna work with cowboys, I might as well know what I was talking about.” Another time, Tommy might have made a quip about what exactly Noah meant by working with cowboys, but not now. His mind whirled around in panic as he thought about Luke alone in flooded waters. He could have been thrown by Lulu. He might be injured, or

Complete Faith

169

worse, drowned in deep water. It was easy to misstep when the landscape changed. “Stop!” Tommy looked up at the command. Noah stood in front of him, a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Stop thinking the worst. I know it’s scary, but Luke’s an experienced cowboy, on his own land. If anyone is gonna survive this, it will be Luke.” Tommy took comfort from Noah’s expression as much as his words. “You think God’s looking after him, Pastor?” “I know God’s looking after him,” Noah said calmly. “I always believe that.” “What if he….” Noah squeezed Tommy’s shoulder. “Not a single what-if. Luke’s as tough as old boots, and there’s a ranchful of cowboys looking for him.” They finished getting dressed in silence. Tommy made a flask of coffee for the journey while Noah called Ray to say where he’d be for the day. As they got on the road, Noah said, “Ray offered his help. I said I’d call if we needed extra hands.” Tommy grunted. He’d gone past thinking again, and his mind was whirling with more what-ifs. The journey to the Lost Cow normally took an hour. Tommy made it in forty minutes, and he was damned thankful he wasn’t stopped by the sheriff or his deputies. There was no saying exactly how he would have reacted. He pulled into the yard as Pamela came out of the bunkhouse with flasks in her hands. Tommy was out of the truck almost before it had stopped. “Have you found him?” The haggard look on her face gave him his answer. “Not yet. I’m going to take coffee and sandwiches out to everyone.” “I’ll do that,” Tommy said, holding his hand out for the flasks. “Are you doing dinner for everyone?”

170

Sue Brown

At her nod, Noah said, “Why don’t I help you, and then I can go out with the others.” Tommy was about to snap that Noah was needed out on the land, but then he took a long look at Pamela’s face. She needed someone to support her while her son was missing, and Noah was just the person to do that. “Where’s Greg?” he asked. “Coordinating everyone from the main house. It’s all I can do to stop him going out with them.” Noah slid an arm around Pamela’s shoulders. “I’ll help you sit on Greg,” he said and guided her toward the main house. He looked over his shoulder at Tommy. “Look after yourself.” “I will.” Tommy thought for a minute and then took off at a run toward the main house to speak to Greg and find out where everyone was. He found Greg and Pete in Luke’s office. From the raised voices, he was interrupting them in the middle of an argument when he knocked on the door. Unsurprisingly, Luke’s father looked in a worse state than Pamela. “’Bout time,” Pete said when he saw Tommy standing in the doorway. Tommy wanted to say that it had been less than an hour since he had been woken up with the news, but that seemed kind of pointless. “Momma gave me the flasks. Where is everyone?” Pete pointed to the map. “South and west side of the creek. That’s where the flooding is worst. Then they’re gonna make their way along the creek.” “Take your truck,” Greg ordered. “All the quads and horses are out. Bud and his crew turned up about fifteen minutes ago. Lance is on his way back from the airport with his boyfriend. Pete can bring Lance out when he arrives. I’ll come out with the doctor.” Pete slammed his fist down on the desk. “You are staying put if we have to tie you down. You’re not well enough to go out.” “Luke’s my son!” Greg shouted, going red in the face. “And he’s not coming home to find out you’ve had another heart attack.” Pete looked up to see Tommy staring wide-eyed at them.

Complete Faith

171

“Why are you still here? That coffee won’t stay hot forever.” Tommy nodded and headed for the door, grateful to get away from what was obviously an ongoing argument. “Let Simon know the sheriff’s trying to get the chopper over here,” Greg said. “Will do, Boss.” As he reached the truck, Noah came out with several boxes of sandwiches. He handed them over with a kiss and another reiteration to be careful. Not sure how far he could drive before he hit the floodwaters, Tommy called Chuck. The older hand sounded exhausted when he answered, “Yeah?” “It’s Tommy. Where are you? I’m bringing coffee and food.” “The lower south pasture. You won’t be able to drive that far. I’ll come and meet you.” The coffee was greeted with relief by the hands, and Tommy was quick to make sure everyone had a drink and a sandwich. There were a couple of faces missing. “Where’s Simon and Jack?” Tommy asked when everyone was sorted. Chuck mumbled, his mouth full of sandwich. He took a moment to swallow and then started again. “They’re starting on the north pastures.” “I’ll give them their food and stay with them,” Tommy said, heading back for the truck. “No one goes alone. You go with Scott.” One of the old hands nodded and joined Tommy. Chuck looked at them grimly. “Call in with Greg and me every half an hour. If you find any trace of Luke or Lulu, call.” “Will do.” “More rain is forecast. If you see the creek rising, get the hell out of there. We don’t need to lose anybody else.” Tommy nodded and set off for the truck, Scott following hard on his heels. He just hoped the rain held off for another few hours. By the time three o’clock came, the only news was grim. Chuck called to say Lulu’s body had been found farther west down the creek.

172

Sue Brown

From the brief look, she had broken at least one of her legs and been carried away by the floodwater. There was no trace of Luke. When Simon got the news that Lulu had been found dead, his face tightened and he turned away from the rest of the hands. Jack laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off and carried on with the search. All the cattle, including the pregnant mamas, were safe from the floodwater. Even those in the pastures nearer the floodwater had been moved earlier in the week in anticipation of the rainfall. There was only one thing on their minds. Every one of the hands had been offered some time to rest, and all had refused, even those that had been working since six in the morning. As the daylight faded, Tommy despaired of finding the boss dead or alive. It had started to rain again, and conditions were getting too dangerous to stay out any longer. The chances of finding Luke alive diminished with each passing hour. At six o’clock, Simon called a halt. It was raining hard, and it was pointless trying to search in these conditions. They were heading toward the trucks, quads, and horses when the radios and cells went crazy. Tommy answered his phone. “We got Luke, and he’s alive. Chuck and the boys found him,” Sammy yelled. “Don’t know anything else, but we got him!” Looking over at Simon, he could see the foreman had gotten the same news. Wild hope flared through Tommy’s veins. Jack and Scott were receiving the same news. Everyone needed to be the person to deliver the good news. Simon looked at the hands. “Let’s get back to the house. He’s unconscious at the moment, but he’s alive.” For the first time since Tommy had joined them, the lines eased around Simon’s eyes. Jack did more than that. He whooped loudly and grabbed Scott to hug him. The older hand look startled, but a broad grin spread across his face. The convoy back to the house felt like it took forever. The rules about putting the vehicles away were abandoned as the occupants headed toward the main house. Those on horses fretted at the time they needed to take care of the animals.

Complete Faith

173

Tommy was just as anxious. All the hands trooped into the kitchen. Simon had vanished. Noah was there with Greg. At the first sight of Tommy, Noah was over to draw him into a hug. “What’s happening?” Tommy asked. “Luke’s alive, but he’s still unconscious. Fortunately he wasn’t in the water. He’s freezing, but it only looks like mild hypothermia. He’s with Pamela, Marco—that’s Lance’s doctor boyfriend—and Liz.” Liz, Jack’s wife, was a nurse at the local hospital. “He’s in good hands, then,” Tommy murmured. “Yes, he is,” Noah agreed. He drew back, frowning. “You’re soaked through,” he said. “Come on, you need to get changed. The last thing you need is pneumonia after the flu.” Tommy dug his heels in. Noah was crazy if he thought Tommy was leaving until he had more news. “But Luke….” “Is safe and being looked after.” Noah guided Tommy toward the door. “And I am going to look after you.” “Noah’s right, you’re more likely to get sick after last week,” Chuck said, “We all need to get changed into dry clothes.” He looked over at Jeb and Zack, who were standing near the range. The brothers, who had quickly become known as the boys, were leaning against each other. Tommy wasn’t sure if they were actually dozing. “Boys, come with me and I’ll get you some clothes.” From the way they jumped at Chuck’s words, they had definitely been falling asleep. It took a while, but all the men were equipped with dry clothes, and then, without exception, they all went back to the kitchen. Pete made hot drinks for everyone as they waited for news.

174

Sue Brown Chapter Twenty-One

WHEN Pamela came back in, she rolled her eyes at the number of expectant faces that instantly turned to her. “He’s gonna be just fine, boys. He took a bump to the head and banged his knee, but other than that, he’s good.” She burst into tears, the coping façade crumbling in the face of so much naked relief. Noah was closest. He gathered Luke’s mother into his arms and led her over to Greg, who was doing his best not to follow his wife’s example. As Tommy looked around the kitchen, he could see more than one burly cowboy wiping away tears. Noah came over to Tommy. “You okay?” he asked. Tommy blinked back his own tears and nodded. He was grateful when Noah slipped his arms around him, giving him some support. He could see a few glances from the older hands but ignored them. After a while a dark-haired man came into the kitchen, and Tommy did a double take. Holy Christ, he was huge! He made Simon look like a kid. The man immediately went over to Lance. From the way Lance melted into his touch, it was obvious this was his boyfriend. Tommy grinned. When Luke was awake, it was going to lay all his fears about Simon to rest. “I think Lance ought to let him loose on Wade and Kyle. Would you argue with him?” Noah murmured in Tommy’s ear. “Hell, no. No wonder Lance wanted to keep his beating quiet, if he’s got a temper to match.” Tommy was careful to keep his voice low too, not wanting the huge man to overhear.

Complete Faith

175

“Marco knows. I mean, he knows something’s wrong, he just doesn’t know what it is. He said as much while we were waiting for everyone to come back.” “Did you tell him?” Tommy asked, suddenly fearful for Lance. “I’m a priest, not a tattletale,” Noah said. “I may not have the confessional, but I do know how to keep a secret.” Hearing the hurt in Noah’s voice, Tommy pressed a kiss into Noah’s jaw. “I’m sorry. That was stupid of me.” They were interrupted from carrying on the conversation by Lance, leading Marco by the hand. “Tommy, meet Marco.” “It’s a good thing you were here,” Tommy said as they shook hands. He was slightly alarmed by the way his hand was swallowed up by Marco’s. “When Lance invited me down for the weekend, I was expecting a little horse-riding, maybe some light work for the novice cowboy. I wasn’t expecting to have to work.” Marco shot his boyfriend a mock glare. “That’s the Lost Cow. You never know what’s around the corner,” Chuck said, coming over to join them. “Momma’s gonna serve up chow, and Doc Alvarez said he’ll be here in a couple of hours now Luke isn’t an emergency.” “I’m not a qualified doctor,” Marco explained. “I could charge a lot more if I was.” Chuck snorted. “A doctor and a lawyer. God help us.” Lance beamed at the implication. By common agreement, they returned to the bunkhouse for dinner. The mood at the dinner table was almost giddy, the hands talking high and fast in their relief at Luke’s safe return. Simon didn’t join them, preferring to stay with his partner. It was almost inevitable that with the excitement following a long, stressful day, the hands would crash early. Those who lived in Parson left almost immediately after dinner, taking Greg and Pamela with them. Pamela protested that she didn’t want to leave, but Jack agreed to bring her back after church. Chuck and Pete were ordered to bed, as they were about asleep on their feet.

176

Sue Brown

With Noah’s help, Tommy fed the chickens and mucked out the horses while Lance took his boyfriend to check on the pregnant cows. The sight of Lulu’s empty stall brought tears to Tommy’s eyes. He cleaned it out even though Noah offered to take over. After he’d finished, he leaned on Noah for a minute, taking the silently offered support. As Tommy and Noah walked back across the yard, Simon whistled from the door of the main house. “Are all the chores done?” he asked. “Yeah. Lance has gone to check the cows, and we’ve done the horses and chickens.” Tommy took a close look at Simon in the porch light. The foreman looked wrecked, his eyes bloodshot and sore. “Is there anything we can do for you?” he asked gently. “I’m gonna make a drink and stay with Luke. I’m not letting him out of my sight—for the next twenty years or so.” Noah squinted at Simon. “Have you changed since you got back?” Simon looked at his clothes. It was obvious he hadn’t because he was covered head to foot in mud. “Tommy’ll make you a drink. You go and have a shower. I’ll sit with Luke.” Tommy could see the refusal on Simon’s face. “You’re filthy. Go wash up. We can look after the boss for fifteen minutes and make sure he doesn’t run away.” The desire to be clean won out, and Simon allowed himself to be pushed in the direction of the shower. Tommy made two cups of hot chocolate, figuring Simon needed the sleep, and Luke might be awake. He took them into the bedroom, where Noah was sitting beside the bed. Putting the cups on the nightstand, Tommy took his first look at Luke. He was grateful he had put the cups down because even after several hours, the boss looked half dead. A huge bruise blossomed over his temple, and the rest of his face was stark white. The dim light hid the light sprinkling of freckles across his nose. He was asleep, not stirring as Tommy sat next to Noah.

Complete Faith

177

Tommy snuck his hand into Noah’s, needing the reassurance that he was there. Noah squeezed his hand. The day could have had a completely different outcome, and they could have been mourning the loss of the ranch boss, not just a well-loved horse. A noise behind him made Tommy look up. Simon was standing in the doorway, wearing clean sweatpants and T-shirt. “Thanks,” he whispered as he walked over to the bed. Ignoring Simon’s protests, Noah virtually manhandled him onto the bed with Luke, making sure the injured man had plenty of room. Tommy gave Simon his drink, and they watched until he started to consume it. Simon grumbled plenty, but with Noah as backup, Tommy stared pointedly until Simon got the hint. As they were leaving the room, Luke stirred, mumbling, “Si?” Simon immediately put down the cup and caressed Luke’s face. “I’m here, boss, I’m here.” “I was scared I’d never see you again.” Luke’s voice was hoarse and scratchy. “I was scared too.” Tommy looked back to see Luke clinging to Simon. His lover was holding him close against his chest, Luke’s head tucked under his chin. Tears dripped down his face to soak silently into Luke’s muddy hair. Neither of them paid any attention to the men leaving the room. “C’mon.” Noah slipped his arm around Tommy, letting the younger man lean on his shoulder as they walked away. Halfway across the yard, Tommy stopped and looked at Noah. “I love you,” he said. “You sure about that?” Noah asked uncertainly. Tommy nodded. “More than sure. If something ever happened to you or me and I hadn’t told you….” Noah hooked his fingers into Tommy’s sweater and pulled him so he was flush against Noah’s body. “I feel the same way. All I could think about was you in danger today while I was useless back at the ranch house.” “You weren’t useless. I could never look after people the way you do. You seem to always know how to comfort them.” Tommy was always awed at how folks responded to Noah. He always felt so

178

Sue Brown

uncomfortable around people in distress and would rather look after animals than humans. He said as much, knowing Noah would understand. “It’s a good thing you’re the cowboy and I’m the pastor.” Noah chuckled. “Now can we get inside?” “Are you going to stay the night? I’m gonna have to work tomorrow.” Tommy really wanted Noah to stay, but the man worked a long day on a Sunday. Noah nodded. “I’m too tired to drive home. I called Ray and told him I’d be staying here.” “You gonna have to get up early?” “Yeah, don’t remind me.” In the bunkhouse, all the lights were turned off except in the kitchen. Tommy flicked the switch as they walked through. The house was quiet except for muted voices coming from Lance’s room. From the gasps and grunts, it was clear that the couple were making up for lost time. “I don’t envy Marco and Lance trying to sleep in Lance’s bed,” Tommy said once they were safely in his room. Noah smirked. “I don’t think Lance had plans to sleep. As far as he’s concerned, the only thing they’re going to be doing is fucking each other senseless.” His voice was muffled as he pulled off his sweater. “For a man of God, you’ve got a filthy mouth,” Tommy said as he stripped off. “Only when it comes to sex. Sex is meant to be raw, crude, and downright filthy.” Noah emphasized the point by pushing down his pants and boxers. Tommy ogled his boyfriend’s cock, its dark length making his mouth water. He spoiled the effect by yawning loudly. Laughing, Noah pointed at the bed. “I think showing you how dirty I can be is going to have to wait.” Tommy tumbled into bed, wrapping Noah around him as soon as the light was switched off. He reveled in the feel of Noah’s body against his. As he drifted into sleep, he was momentarily disturbed by a loud groan from another room. Tommy smiled. He thanked God that for tonight, at least, everyone had their man.

Complete Faith

179

MORE rain overnight left the creek precariously close to flooding again. No one went to church as all hands were needed to move the cattle to higher ground. Tommy didn’t realize how much he looked forward to his Sundays with Noah until they weren’t together. He’d managed an early-morning call with Noah, just before his first service. At the meeting in the bunkhouse kitchen, Luke was fuming. Doc Alvarez insisted that he get his knee X-rayed as it had ballooned up overnight. The boss insisted it was fine and he was ready to go back to work the day after the flooding despite the fact he could barely hobble. Like father, like son, Tommy thought, as Luke insisted he could take out one of the quad bikes. Tommy could see that Simon’s patience was fraying rapidly in the face of Luke’s refusal to accept he was incapacitated. It was obvious to everyone except his partner that Simon was still freaked out by nearly losing Luke the day before. In the end, Marco, who had been sitting quietly next to Lance, ended the argument. “You can’t go out there today, Luke, so quit being an ass.” The room went silent as Luke stared at him, his huge eyes going almost comically wide. “What did you just call me?” Marco returned his gaze. “I called you an ass. You can’t work with a busted knee. You’ll put your boys at risk,” he said calmly. A broad smile spread over Simon’s face. “He’s good, isn’t he?” he said to Lance. “That’s my boy,” Lance agreed proudly. Luke scowled at the exchange. “I can’t just sit here.” “No, you can’t,” Marco agreed. “I’m going to drive you to hospital to get your knee X-rayed, and then you’re going to take me to meet Chuck’s girlfriend.” Tommy noticed the fact that both Luke and Chuck were glowering at him didn’t bother Marco in the slightest. Marco was a big man.

180

Sue Brown

“I’m not going,” Luke declared, crossing his arms defiantly. “I’m needed here.” Simon leaned over to his boyfriend. “He’s twice the size of me. If I can pick you up and carry you, Marco here won’t have any problems getting you in the truck.” Luke seemed about to reply when Simon whispered something in his ear. Tommy couldn’t hear him, but from the way Luke turned crimson, perhaps that was for the best. Chuck sighed pensively. “I’d better warn Shelley.” “Shelley loves me,” Luke said smugly, momentarily distracted from his bad mood. “She does. Hell knows why,” Chuck agreed. Simon stood. “We need to get moving. More rain is due this afternoon.” Tommy stood with the rest of the hands. “I still think….” Luke started. “Don’t say another word, Luke. Not one single word.” Simon stalked out of the kitchen, leaving Luke in midsentence. Chuck bit his lip. Then he looked at his boss. “It nearly killed him yesterday. The whole time you were missing, he didn’t stop searching, not for a second. Cut him a break.” Luke dropped his gaze. “I know that. Don’t you think I know that? Do you really think I want him back out there today?” And that was when Tommy understood what was going on. Luke was petrified of letting Simon out of his sight. Simon was just as scared, but there was no way he was letting Luke go out until he was fully fit. In the meantime, huge Marco was the best babysitter Simon could find. Chuck seemed to get it too. “We’ll all look out for him, boss. Now get out of here and get that knee looked at.” Marco pulled Lance down for a kiss. “You look after yourself.” “I will.” Lance clung to him for a moment. “Don’t stay away too long. We’ve still got some catching up to do.” “Next weekend you have free, Marco, you two are having a weekend away on us,” Luke said. “That goes for everyone.” He looked

Complete Faith

181

around the room. “Except during calving season, and the auctions, and hay time.” His lips twitching, Marco looked down at Lance. “How many weekends does that leave?” Lance grinned back. “We’ll need to do some planning.” Jeb and Zack left on the heels of Pete and Jack. The brothers seemed remarkably sanguine about the antics of their bosses. Momentarily envious of Lance’s cuddle with Marco, Tommy gathered all the cups and placed them in the sink. He turned to find Luke still sitting in the chair. “Do you need a hand, boss?” he asked softly, correctly interpreting Luke’s stubborn expression. Luke glowered at him; then he sighed. “Yeah, I’m pretty banged up today. I don’t think there’s a part of me that doesn’t hurt.” Tommy was just about to help when the yard door banged open and Simon stalked back in. He stalked over to Luke and, instead of helping the man to his feet, lifted him bodily off the floor, cradling him in his arms. “You coulda just asked,” Simon snapped. “That’s gonna kill your back,” Luke protested, but Tommy noticed his arms immediately sneaked around Simon’s neck. Simon snorted. “Shut the fuck up,” he said and carried Luke out of the kitchen. “Is it always like this?” Marco asked Lance. “I don’t know. I haven’t been here that long.” The two men looked at Tommy questioningly. Tommy shrugged. “Sometimes. Only when things are difficult. It’s hard for them to argue because they live and work together. Neither one can walk out easily. Simon did last year during all the troubles. Luke was devastated. I don’t think Simon would do that again to him.” “They are lucky to be together all the time,” Marco said, pulling Lance closer to him. “It must be hard on you to be separated for so long.” Lance gave a wry smile. “It’s gone past hard to desperate. I’m going to tell my parents that I’m going back to live with Marco. I’ll

182

Sue Brown

find some work until September. Watching the pain the bosses went through, and after Wade….” Lance clapped a hand over his mouth. Tommy watched Marco stiffen and take a step back, putting some space between them. “What about Wade?” When Lance didn’t answer, Marco took hold of Lance by the arms. “What did Wade do to you?” For some reason Lance looked over to Tommy. “Tell him,” Tommy urged. “Tell him the truth.” He was still feeling guilty that Lance had been hurt because of him. “Lance, what happened?” Marco demanded, his voice rising in anger. Lance swallowed hard. “Wade and Kyle were blowing off hot air against Tommy. I defended him, and Kyle took offense. He hit me a few times, that’s all. Nothing serious.” “He hit you? That little worm hit you? I’m gonna kill him.” Marco’s hands curled into fists. Tommy took a step away, scared that Marco would take a swing at him for provoking the argument in the first place. “No, you’re not, and calm down, you’re scaring Tommy.” Lance was almost eerily calm in the face of his boyfriend’s anger. Marco stared at Tommy, not seeing him initially. Then he exhaled sharply and visibly relaxed his hands. “I’m sorry, Tommy. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Embarrassed, Tommy said, “I’m sorry too. I don’t handle confrontation that well. I thought you might be pissed at me.” Marco waved his hand, and Tommy resisted the urge to duck. “I’m not pissed at you. Proud of my boy for standing up for you.” He gave Lance the sort of smile that curled Tommy’s toes. “But I’m gonna make you tell me exactly what he did to you, and we are going to have words about you hiding this from me. Is that why you moved here?” Lance nodded. “I ran away. I thought that this was just the start, and I knew at the Lost Cow I’d find help. My parents wouldn’t be able to deal with it.” “It’s in the hands of the sheriff now,” Simon said. “Luke can fill you in on all the details.”

Complete Faith

183

Tommy hadn’t heard the foreman come back in the kitchen. “Sorry, but I really need Lance and Tommy out with me. There’s another storm on the way, and if you’re going with Luke, I’d go now.” Simon was definitely edgy about letting Luke out of his sight. Marco nodded. He gave Lance a kiss on the lips and said, “I’ll be back later. We’ll keep in touch.” Trailing after the other men, Tommy closed the yard door. He had a full day ahead of him, but maybe later Noah would be back to see him. He was looking forward to that.

184

Sue Brown Chapter Twenty-Two

CALVING season brought its own dramas and rewards. One critter couldn’t wait for the spring weather and gave birth in one of the largest snowstorms Texas had seen in fifty years. The Lost Cow was well prepared for such events, and the heifer produced a live calf without any assistance, although all the hands were there to assist if necessary. After last year’s poisonings, all the hands were praying for a successful, and peaceful, year. Tommy leaned against the stall, watching the new mama nurse her first calf, breathing a sigh of relief at the simple birth. “It’s a good sign,” Pete said as they watched the little black calf take his first drink. “I just hope the rest of them wait until my balls aren’t in danger of shriveling from frostbite,” Luke grumbled in response. Tommy laughed at Luke’s grumpiness, knowing the boss didn’t mean a word of it. Luke had been on tenterhooks all day waiting for the main event. He was the same every year. The first calf of the season seemed to set the tone for the rest of the year. “I need coffee,” Luke said after a few minutes, limping toward the flasks Chuck had brought out for them. He still hadn’t fully recovered from the injured knee that he’d acquired in the flood. As they celebrated with scalding hot coffee, he leaned against the wall of the barn, trying to ease the weight on his knee. “Go sit down,” Simon ordered, not looking up from where he was busy taking details of the calf for their records. “Yeah, I think I will.”

Complete Faith

185

Tommy frowned. It took a lot for Luke to admit he was in pain. His knee must hurt like a bitch. “I’ll walk back with you. I’ve done my bit,” Noah said. Simon looked unconvinced. “Be careful. It’s slippery in the yard.” Luke rolled his eyes. “Yes, Mom.” “I’ll look after him,” Noah promised Simon. Noah was an unexpected guest at the birthing. Visiting one of his congregation, he had gotten caught in the blizzard that had ground the entire county to a halt. Fortunately he had been close enough to the Lost Cow to call for help. To the hands’ amusement, Noah had asked to bless the first calf of the season. The hands laughed when he offered, but Luke said all beings on the earth could do with a bit of God’s help now and then, and they shut up pretty quick. Tommy thought it was touching, listening to Noah’s words. The pastor had the ability to turn a simple blessing into something beautiful. Tommy and Chuck checked on the rest of the pregnant cows while Simon and Pete tidied away the unused birthing equipment. As Tommy cast his eyes over the cows, he noticed Chuck kept shooting him odd glances. Eventually it wore him down. “What?” Chuck chewed on his lip. “Are you thinking of moving away from the Lost Cow?” Tommy stared. “What makes you say that?” “You’re spending more and more time at Noah’s. Don’t you get fed up with all that driving?” It was an hour from St. Mark’s every morning. Tommy and Noah had gotten used to leaving each other at dark thirty every morning. “I hadn’t thought about it.” Much. It wasn’t like they could do anything about it. Noah couldn’t move away and Tommy didn’t want to work for any of the spreads closer to the church, Childes and Stevenson to name but two. The endless driving was the price they paid to be together, and they spent as much time as they could sleeping in each other’s beds.

186

Sue Brown

“You’re in much the same position,” he said to Chuck. Chuck’s relationship with Noah’s aunt, Shelley, was something the older hand kept under wraps, but Noah had told Tommy that Shelley was head over heels in love. “I know. It’s doing my ass in,” Chuck admitted. “Are you thinking of quitting?” Tommy asked, shocked. Chuck had been at the Lost Cow forever, and then some. Chuck scuffed at the ground. “Dunno. Can’t go on like this, though. I barely see her when we’re busy. She can’t drive.” “That’s tough.” “Yeah. I don’t want to leave. I like it here. I thought I’d be here my whole life, but I want to be with her too.” Tommy was silent for a moment. Then he said, “Couldn’t Shelley get a job closer to here? I know she loves her job, but would she move?” Chuck slammed the gate as they walked out of the large pasture set aside for the cows soon to calve. “She’s still got to get to Parson. You can’t do it if you can’t drive. That why I was askin’. With Lance going after calving, I didn’t know if you were thinking of movin’ on as well.” Lance had already handed in his notice. He was going back to Stanford as soon as calving was over. Despite his parents’ objections, he was resuming his law degree. He’d freely admitted he’d be working twenty-four seven to pay the tuition, but there was no way he was going to spend any longer away from Marco. As they walked toward the yard, Tommy said, “Have you talked to Luke and Simon?” “Haven’t been able to face them,” Chuck muttered. “Luke’s like my boss, son, and best friend all rolled into one, and Simon’s been my friend for years.” Tommy frowned. “I don’t know if I should tell you this, but Luke’s finding it difficult to work at the moment. He’s gonna need an operation on his knee.” “That makes it even worse. I can’t leave knowing it would leave us shorthanded.”

Complete Faith

187

“Have you thought that Shelley might be able to work here, helping Luke in the office?” It was a wild suggestion, but Luke was in need of help. Tommy had overheard Luke admitting to Simon that every day was a struggle. He could see the old hand thinking it over. “It’s an idea. Shelley likes her job, but she would be good anywhere she works, and I know she’s finding it a struggle to pay all her bills.” “Where would you live? You don’t want to share your room in the bunkhouse, do you?” Chuck snorted. “Heck no. There’s a house vacant near the Boss’s house. It’s pricey, but we might be able to knock the rent down. It’s been empty for a long time.” Tommy paused as they entered the bunkhouse. “I want to move in with Noah. I’ll cope with the traveling if it means I can be with him. I’d just stay here during the busy times. You need to talk to Luke. Pete might find himself all on his own.” “Not for a while, but yeah, he might.” Chuck squeezed Tommy’s shoulder. “Thanks, son.” It was quiet in the bunkhouse. Pete was reading in one of the armchairs. Lance had gone to his bedroom. Tommy could hear him singing along with the radio. “Have you seen Noah?” he asked Pete. Pete looked up from his book. “He hasn’t come back from the main house.” Tommy hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to join Noah or not. “Luke said to go over if you wanted to. They’re having beer and chips to celebrate the new arrival.” “You didn’t feel like it?” Pete yawned. “Not tonight. A book and an early night for me.” “And me.” Chuck yawned as well, which provoked an answering yawn in Tommy. The early night sounded good, but since Noah was over at the main house, he thought he’d better go over there and find him.

188

Sue Brown

Shivering in the cold air, Tommy cussed under his breath as he walked across the yard. He covered his knuckles just in case there was a wooden spoon around. Simon opened the door for him. “You look frozen,” he said. “Come in and warm up.” “I was hoping to reclaim my boyfriend so I didn’t have to go back out in the cold again,” Tommy admitted. “He and Luke are playing chess.” Tommy raised an eyebrow. “Chess? I didn’t know either of them played chess.” “I don’t think either of them can play. We’re just pretending they can.” Simon dropped his voice, but there was a growl from the living room. Simon grinned at Tommy and vanished into the kitchen after promising Tommy a hot drink. Tommy stripped off his jacket, hung it on a hook in the hall, and went in search of his errant boyfriend. Noah looked up as Tommy walked in. “Tommy, come and help me beat Luke.” “You’re losing,” Luke pointed out drily. “I have Tommy now. That will make all the difference.” Leaning into his partner, Tommy looked down at the board. Noah was definitely losing. “You haven’t got a chance.” Scowling at him, Noah said, “I know that, but you weren’t meant to say it out loud. This way when I lost, I could blame it on you.” “No, I think you lost all by yourself.” Tommy accepted a cup of coffee from Simon and sat down next to Noah. “Can you play chess?” Luke asked as he reclaimed another piece from Noah. Ignoring his boyfriend’s groan of despair, Tommy said, “Better than him, not as good as Simon.” “Checkmate,” Luke crowed triumphantly. Tommy grinned as Noah stared in dismay at the board. “Never mind.” He kissed Noah on the cheek. “You’re very good at other things.” “I’m sure he is,” Luke said blandly.

Complete Faith

189

“You’re going to have to restore my honor, Tom.” “Can’t I thaw out first?” Tommy was sure his brain was still on ice. “A minute, then.” At Tommy’s look, Noah amended it to, “Five minutes, at the most.” Tommy ignored him, lying back and appreciating the first time he had been warm in hours. “All the other mamas okay?” Simon asked. “None in labor, thank goodness.” Tommy couldn’t deal with another several hours of losing the feeling in his toes. “Thank God for that,” agreed Simon. “Pardon me, Pastor.” Noah grinned. “I think God would echo those sentiments, my son.” “How is your knee?” Tommy asked, seeing Luke wince as he shifted around. “Hurts like a bitch,” Luke admitted, taking a deep breath as he moved again. A concerned look on his face, Noah asked, “When is your operation?” “Not until after calving. I can’t afford to be out of action now.” The look on Simon’s face clearly said he didn’t agree, but he kept quiet. “How did you know that I needed an op?” Tommy flushed. “Sorry, I overheard you talking about it.” Luke sighed and shifted again. He obviously found it difficult to get a comfortable position. “My knee’s a mess. I’m really too young for knee replacement, but that’s the last resort.” “If you’d stayed off your fucking knee like you were supposed to, then you would be getting better,” Simon said, his tone suggesting he’d had this discussion many times before. Luke glared at him. “I have a ranch to run. When do I get the chance to stay off my feet?” “Didn’t your father use the same argument?” Noah asked. He didn’t back down from the scowl Luke shot at him.

190

Sue Brown

“It’s not the same.” “It is the same,” Simon said firmly. “You’ve got another forty or fifty years on that knee. You can sit down for one damn season.” “I can’t even do the fucking paperwork without it hurtin’.” Tommy chewed on the inside of his mouth. It wasn’t his place to talk about Chuck’s business. “Talk to Chuck, boss. Can’t tell you any more than that, but he might be able to help for a short while.” “Chuck? What the hell can he do?” Noah shot him a shrewd glance. “Shelley?” Noah should really learn to keep his mouth shut. “What about Shelley?” Simon asked. “I shouldn’t talk about it.” Tommy squirmed in his seat. “Let me guess. Chuck and Shelley want to be together. Chuck doesn’t want to leave here, so he’s wondering if Shelley could find a job here?” Noah suggested. “It was my idea. I’ve seen you struggling, boss. I don’t know much ’bout Shelley, but from what Noah and you say, she’s efficient and organized. Even if it’s just for a few months, you can get some help, and it gives time for Chuck and Shelley to sort out something else.” “And is she gonna muck out the horses and feed the chickens?” Luke asked. He looked as if he’d dialed down his temper a fraction, but he didn’t sound convinced. “Actually, she can do all that. Shelley was brought up on a ranch. Remember me telling you about that ranch I worked on during vacation?” Noah looked at Tommy. “It was her parents’ ranch. Shelley got me the work.” “Well, then.” Simon sounded very satisfied. “If she wants, Shelley can take over the horses and chickens and help you with the running of the ranch, and you can have your operation.” “We can’t afford it.” It was a last-ditch protest, and Luke knew it. “If it stops you hurting all the time, we can afford it,” Simon said, caressing Luke’s cheek. “Can’t bear to see you in so much pain, boss.”

Complete Faith

191

Tommy took an easier breath as he watched Luke lean into the caress. He hoped Chuck would forgive him for talking about him like that, but it was obvious Luke needed help.

“YOU’RE amazing, you know that?” Noah said as they walked back across the yard. Tommy’s teeth chattered. He didn’t feel amazing; he felt fucking cold again. “You managed to solve Luke and Chuck’s problems today. You would have made a good pastor.” Tommy stepped into the warmth of the bunkhouse kitchen with relief. “I thought about it when I was in junior high. But once I knew I was gay, I didn’t think I could be. I asked Pastor Jim, and he said as long as I was feeling all these sinful thoughts, there was no way I could be a man of God.” He heard Noah sigh. “I met Jim many times, and he’s a good man, but he was so wrong to say things like that to you.” Noah wrapped his arms around Tommy. “It’s not too late for you to train as a pastor.” Tommy sank into the warmth of Noah’s body. His man always smelled of sandalwood and spices. “I’m not sure. I wanted to go to college, but I like it here, even if I didn’t want to work on a ranch. I like being outdoors with the animals.” “There’s no rush. You’re still young. I think you’d make a good foreman. So do Luke and Simon.” Foreman. Tommy could see himself as a foreman. Not a rancher, though. He didn’t want that responsibility. And college was still an option. Since he had been working, Tommy had saved quite a bit of money. He had dreams. Just now they included Noah. “Want to take me to bed?” Tommy asked, seeking a kiss. “In a minute.” Noah seemed more interested in kissing back, his tongue eagerly exploring Tommy’s mouth. Tommy closed his eyes and let himself open up to Noah’s touch. It was exactly what he needed right then.

192

Sue Brown

Eventually, when kissing had moved to rubbing against each other and rubbing had moved on to frankly groping, they moved it to the bedroom. Chuck and Pete didn’t mind the kissing, but they had individually asked Tommy to keep the groping to his own room. Tommy really wanted to be able to grope wherever he could. The groping changed slowly into Tommy undressing Noah, one piece of clothing at a time, until Noah was gasping under his hands. On his knees, Tommy slid Noah’s jeans down his legs, kissing the bare chocolate skin as it emerged. Tommy had a real thing about Noah’s skin. Noah was hard, his erection pressed against his boxers. Tommy found himself mesmerized by the damp spot on the green cotton. He leaned forward, his tongue flickering out to taste it. “God, Tom.” Noah’s hands curled tightly in his hair. Tommy looked up, got lost by the love in Noah’s eyes. “Tommy?” Noah asked questioningly. Task at hand. Right. Tommy lapped again at the damp spot, eliciting a whimper. He could spend hours just licking but instead hooked his fingers into the elastic of the boxers and drew them down Noah’s legs. For a moment he just looked, admiring the curve of Noah’s cock. As he watched, Noah shivered, covering his skin in goose bumps. It was cold in the room. “Get into bed,” Tommy urged. “I still get a blowjob?” Noah asked, sounding like a small kid who was worried his favorite treat was about to be taken away. “You still get blown,” Tommy agreed as he quickly stripped off his own clothes. “You just don’t have to freeze in the process.” They got into bed, immediately rolling over to cuddle each other. As they warmed up their chilled skin, Tommy put the time to good use by kissing Noah. Tommy was happy to spend hours kissing his boyfriend. When Noah had stopped shivering, Tommy slid down his body to resume his interrupted blowjob. For a moment, he buried his face in Noah’s belly, losing himself in Noah’s smell. It was hard to explain how much time he could lose just touching Noah.

Complete Faith

193

“Are you going to blow me or just hold me all night?” Noah asked. “Stop nagging. I’ll get around to it eventually.” He gave Noah’s neglected cock a conciliatory lick. Noah jumped at the touch, but he still managed a snarky, “Wake me up when you do.” Tommy had no intention of letting his boyfriend fall asleep. He licked Noah’s cock again from root to tip, twirling his tongue around the head to take in Noah’s flavor, repeating the action when Noah wriggled and moaned underneath him. He sighed contentedly as he played with Noah. It was damned cold outside, but he was warm and happy here.

194

Sue Brown Chapter Twenty-Three

TOMMY was so busy it took a while for him to notice the change in Noah. He kicked himself for being so oblivious, but he’d been so focused on trying to pick up some of the shortfall from Luke’s injury that he failed to see how preoccupied and miserable Noah had become. Part of the reason for Tommy’s obliviousness was the fact that he had more or less moved in with Noah at St. Mark’s. Apart from Pete, there had been a complete change in the bunkhouse. Lance had moved back to Palo Alto, and Chuck and Shelley were living near Luke’s parents. Jeb and Zack moved into the bunkhouse, pleased not to have extra driving in the morning. Tommy, on the other hand, felt like he did nothing but drive, endless miles to and from St. Mark’s. In the day-to-day haste to get to work and then get home and sleep, he hadn’t been looking at Noah the way he used to. The only real time they got together was at the end of the day, and more often than not, Tommy fell asleep in Noah’s arms. One night, Tommy got home after ten o’clock to find the house dark and Noah not at home. Despite his initial urge just to fall facedown on their bed, Tommy headed for the church, intending to retrieve his boyfriend so they could have snuggle time on the sofa. He wasn’t aware of any meeting being held this evening, but he’d been so busy he couldn’t guarantee that he’d remembered correctly. The church door was open. He’d intended to head for the vestry when he heard Ray speaking, and paused just out of sight. “Why not?” His hand on the door, Tommy was about to say hello when he heard Noah respond.

Complete Faith

195

“Because he’s had enough to worry about without me making it worse.” Tommy frowned, wondering who Noah was talking about. “Uh, and finding out from somewhere else will make it that much better?” “No. I don’t intend him to find out yet. How can I tell Tommy that it’s all over? We’ve only just got started.” Any hope Tommy had had that Noah had been talking about someone else died. He swallowed hard against the bile rising in his stomach. Noah wanted to split up with him already? Why hadn’t he noticed? What was there to notice? Only last night they’d been crashed out on the sofa together, Noah gently stroking his back. Tommy had fallen asleep in Noah’s arms again, content to be where he wanted. Except that obviously wasn’t true. When did Noah fall out of lust/like for him? “It’s not all over, you dumb-ass. It just might change.” Tommy was confused. Ray didn’t sound that sympathetic to Noah. “Why aren’t you that bothered? We’d be splitting up too.” Huh? Ray and Noah. Noah was two-timing him? “If you got your head out of your ass and asked for help like any normal person, no one would be splitting up from anybody. You don’t want to leave here, do you?” “Dammit, Ray, you know I don’t. I love my church.” “And Tommy. You love Tommy, don’t forget that.” Tommy waited for Noah’s response. “Of course I fucking love him. Sorry, Lord.” Tommy was able to breathe again. “Then tell him, and everyone else. If Tony Jackson is going to drive you out of the church, he’s not going to do it without a fight.” That was enough. Tommy had no idea what was going on, but if that man was involved and upsetting Noah, it couldn’t be good. He called out, “Hey,” as if he had just arrived, and he walked in to see Ray giving Noah a loaded look.

196

Sue Brown

Noah looked up at him, and this time Tommy saw the stress in Noah’s face, lines etched around his eyes that hadn’t been there a couple of months ago. Guiltily, Tommy realized he’d been letting Noah shoulder the burden of their new arrangement. Yeah, he’d moved in, and he was doing all the driving now, but Noah was taking care of him as well as his flock. Noah’s congregation lived far and wide rather than in one small town, and Noah spent a good deal of time visiting people otherwise isolated by their community. Tommy smiled at Ray and gave Noah a kiss. The pastor kissed him back until they were both breathless. “Sorry, Tom. I lost track of time. I’ll be over in a minute. Supper is cooked.” “I can wait. Did I interrupt you?” he asked, not wanting to let on how much he’d heard. “You get home, Noah. I’ll lock up.” Ray looked as tired as Noah. “Let me get my jacket,” Noah said, and he disappeared into the vestry. As soon as the door closed behind him, Tom said, “What’s going on?” Ray didn’t look that startled. “How much did you hear?” “Enough to know Noah is in trouble. How serious is it?” Ray looked grim. “Pastor Tony is trying to get the bishop to get rid of Noah for obvious reasons and let him take over as pastor of this church as well as his own.” “That’s ridiculous. What about Bay Chapel or Cornerstone? They are closer than St. Mark’s.” About to answer, Ray had to stop when Noah came back into the church. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said, then a little louder, “take your man home. He’s exhausted.” Tommy wrapped his arms around Noah and guided him out of the small church. As they walked across the yard, Noah said, “You heard, didn’t you?” “Some,” Tommy agreed. “Enough to know you love me.” “We need to talk.” Noah burrowed into Tommy.

Complete Faith

197

Tommy pulled him in closer and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Yes, we do. But not now. We need to eat and sleep. I’m going to arrange some vacation time with Simon, and then we are going to talk.” “You can’t take time off now.” “Yes, I can. A couple of days at least. I’ll make it up over the weekend.” Tommy steered Noah into the house, pushing him down onto the sofa. Noah made one effort to get up, aborted when Tommy kept a hand on his shoulder. “Stay there, okay? Let me take care of you tonight.” Closing his eyes, Noah nodded and lay back against the sofa. Tommy watched him for a minute before heading for his jacket. Digging out his cell phone, Tommy left Noah where he was and went into the kitchen, closing the door behind him. It took a second to check on dinner. Then he called Simon. “Tommy, is everything okay?” Simon sounded worried. “I’m fine, but there’s some trouble brewing with the Jacksons and Noah. Is it too late for me to call Pamela?” “Not if I call now. I’ll do that for you. Do you need a couple of days away?” Tommy huffed a sigh of relief. “Yeah, if you can cope. I’ll cover the weekend.” “Take as long as you need. You’ve been picking up a lot of slack for us. Don’t think we haven’t noticed.” “Thanks,” Tommy said gruffly. He had worked hard, but so had all the other hands, and he didn’t want to put extra pressure on them. “I’ll call Pamela now.” Tommy said good-bye and served up dinner for himself and Noah. It was beef stew again. Almost their staple diet at the moment, as it could cook while they were out. Noah had made biscuits to serve with the stew. Tommy filled two large bowls and took them into the living room. Noah was where Tommy had left him, only now he was snoring, little huffs of sound that made Tommy smile. “Hey, baby, we have dinner.” Tommy nudged Noah’s leg.

198

Sue Brown

With a snort that made Tommy grin again, the older man opened his eyes, blinking wearily. “Huh?” “Dinner. Here.” Tommy handed Noah a bowl. Noah grunted and started eating. They ate in silence, Tommy not willing to start a heavy conversation in the face of Noah’s exhaustion. He was just using the last of the biscuits to mop up the gravy when his cell vibrated. “Who’s calling you this time of night?” Noah asked. “Must be Simon. I left a message asking for time off,” Tommy said casually. Simon’s first words were difficult to understand, but Tommy made out “fucking asshole” well enough. “You were right,” Simon said, when he’d cooled down sufficiently to hold a normal conversation. “Sorry I took a while to call back, but Pamela was making some calls of her own.” Tommy groaned inwardly. Now everyone would know what was going on. Noah was looking at him curiously. He mouthed a “Simon wants to talk. I’ll go make coffee,” and got up. When he was safely behind the kitchen door, he said, “So what’s the gossip?” He started filling up the coffeemaker. “Jackson is determined to root out the Satanists, blah blah. If he takes over the church, then the congregation will apparently turn straight or be damned forever. You’ve heard it all before.” “And the council is in agreement?” “According to Momma, the more liberal thinkers on the council have retired and the people taking over are liking what they are hearing from Jackson. Noah is in deep trouble. He could find himself out real quick.” “Why haven’t we heard about this before?” Tommy was confused. If this had been common knowledge, Pamela would have said something. Luke’s momma would never have kept this quiet. “The pastor’s been biding his time. It was only a matter of time until the council changed in his favor.” “Noah’s in a real state, and I didn’t even notice.” Tommy was eaten up with guilt.

Complete Faith

199

“Have you talked to him about it?” Simon asked. “Not yet. I didn’t know until I overheard him talking to Ray this evening.” Tommy rooted around in the cupboard for two clean cups. “Noah’s exhausted. It can wait until tomorrow.” “Call Momma in the morning. She’s on the case now.” “I will. Thanks, Simon.” He returned with the coffee to find Noah staring into space. As Tommy sat down, Noah said, “So everybody knows now?” He didn’t sound angry, but he wasn’t pleased, either. Shit! “Momma’s on the case,” Tommy said, repeating Noah’s words. “They’ll all know by morning.” Noah sounded resigned to the inevitable. “You have a problem with your friends knowing you need help?” Tommy asked, and then he cursed himself for going on the offensive. “I’m their pastor. They have enough problems of their own without having to cope with mine.” Tommy turned so that he was facing Noah on the sofa. “If Pastor Tony has his way, you won’t be their pastor much longer. Don’t you think they have a right to know what might happen?” “I don’t want them to be caught in the crosshairs,” Noah insisted. He sounded so defeated that Tommy didn’t want to fight with him, but equally, he didn’t want his partner giving up. Tommy pulled Noah over onto his lap. “Noah, if Jackson takes over St. Mark’s, there is no church. Not for the likes of us, or Susan and Emma, or Luke and Simon. What about Bernie and Barb? Where would they mourn their son? They have to know so that they can decide whether their loyalty lies. I’ll tell you one thing, Pastor. Your flock loves you. You give them a life when everyone else wants to take it away. You give them God when the likes of Jackson deny them even the chance to pray.” Noah buried his face into Tommy’s neck. “What if they say I can’t preach here anymore? I guess Simon told you about the council meeting.”

200

Sue Brown

“He didn’t, but he told me you have problems with them. If they take away St. Mark’s, you set up a free church, and we’ll build you a church elsewhere. Dammit, Luke would let you preach in his barn, seeing as you love blessing the animals so much.” There was a long pause. “You had to say that, didn’t you?” Noah said drily. “Yeah.” Tommy grinned. Of course he did. “I’ll talk to them on Sunday.” Tommy snorted. “Momma’s never gonna let you get away with it for that long. There’ll be a meeting here tomorrow night for sure.” Noah groaned loudly. “Don’t remind me. Maybe I can head her off.” “No, you won’t.” Tommy cupped Noah’s jaw to look him in the eyes. “You’ll let your congregation meet, and you will sit there and tell them exactly what that….” Tommy held back the exact epithet that he was thinking of. “That man’s trying to achieve. Do you understand?” Wide-eyed, Noah stared at him. “Who are you and where’s my shy cowboy gone?” “He got angry when that asshole went after the most important person in his world.” Tommy took a deep breath. “Jackson’s tried to destroy my home, my work, Momma, and Greg, who I love as well. And now they’re after you. It isn’t going to happen, I’m telling you.” Noah was gazing at him with more than a hint of respect. “I love you, Tom.” Tommy kissed him tenderly. “I love you too. Now, bed?” “Definitely.” The coffee was cooling, but Tommy drank it anyway. He decided the kitchen could be left until the morning. He put away the remains of the stew and headed for the bedroom. From the sound of it, Noah was in the bathroom cleaning his teeth. Tommy stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed. He’d use the bathroom when Noah came out. The next time Tommy opened his eyes, he was really hot, there was light shining through the crack in the drapes, and someone was banging hellishly loudly on the front door. “Wha—?” Noah raised his head from Tommy’s chest.

Complete Faith

201

“Someone at the door,” Tommy grunted. Typical that the one day he didn’t have to get up, someone disturbed him at dark thirty. As he stumbled toward the door, Tommy took a look at the clock. Try ten thirty rather than dark thirty. Tommy sent up a silent thank-you that he’d made sure his robe was wrapped around him when he answered the door. Luke’s momma scowled at him. “Is Noah here? He’s not over at the church. Why aren’t you dressed yet? The ladies are going to be here soon, and we need to have a plan.” Tommy tried to speak and had to swallow hard to moisten his mouth. “Momma?” She flapped her hands at him. “Get moving. We’ll see you and Noah in twenty minutes.” Behind her, Greg rolled his eyes. “Give the boy a chance to wake up, Momma. Get over when you can. Make sure you give Noah plenty of coffee. The coven has got the cauldron on to boil.” He dodged Pamela’s cuff to the head and walked away, dragging her with him. Tommy stared after them. Okay, then. “I heard something about coffee and boiling cauldrons. Was that Greg I saw?” Noah plastered himself against Tommy’s back, his hands sneaking where they shouldn’t as Tommy still had the door open. Tommy hastily shut the door and enjoyed the feel of Noah’s hands, which were getting busy with his cock. “You have to get over to church. The ladies are waiting.” “They can wait a bit longer,” Noah said unapologetically as he sank to his knees. There was no arguing with his pastor when he was on a mission. Tommy leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes as Noah’s warm mouth sank around his cock. He hummed happily as Noah’s wickedly clever tongue dipped into his slit. The ladies could wait until he had come in Noah’s mouth, and then he was going to take Noah into the shower and make him come too. Somewhere in there Noah would get coffee.

202

Sue Brown Chapter Twenty-three

IT WAS closer to three-quarters of an hour before the two men walked across the yard to the church. Tommy’s orgasmic high was fast dissipating in the face of Noah’s sullenness, which had begun the second they stepped out of the shower. As they approached the church entrance, Noah burst out angrily, “They shouldn’t get involved. It’s no one’s business except mine.” Oh no! Tommy wasn’t having that. Grabbing Noah by the bicep, Tommy spun him around so fast Noah stumbled. “You don’t mean that, do you? You know that the ladies want to help, and they want to keep their church.” Noah refused to meet his gaze. The tension from last night was back in full force. “Let it go, baby.” Tommy gathered up Noah’s hands in his. “You don’t have to be on your own. Let us help. Let me help you.” When Noah tried to tug his hands away, Tommy held on tightly. “You’re their pastor. Let them keep you.” He curled an arm around Noah and guided him into the church, where both men came to a halt. It wasn’t just a few of the ladies. Pamela was up front, next to Ray, but it looked as if almost the whole congregation was there. Some were missing, of course; Lee, the young organist, was at school. A lot of the men were at work. But others were there: Luke and Simon, Susan and Emma, Marilyn Benson and Jeannie, nursing her new baby. Tommy’s eyes widened when he saw Macken, the horse trader, sitting at the back. Ray looked up. “Pastor, Tommy, come on in.”

Complete Faith

203

Tommy felt all eyes shift to them as they hovered in the doorway. He tried hard not to blush. He was aware they must look well-fucked. “You took your time,” Pamela groused, but she had a smile on her face. His face now definitely crimson, Tommy led Noah to the front. He did a quick head count as they went. There had to be over fifty people sitting in the church. “Ray’s been filling us in on some of the details, Pastor. He said you were going to tell us at Sunday’s meeting, but we felt that we might need a longer meeting.” Pamela cast a smile over the congregation. Tommy managed to hold back a snort but nearly disgraced himself when he saw Luke and Simon roll their eyes. He bet they had been ordered to attend. He heard the door at the back open but paid little attention until Pamela said, “Evelyn?” Tommy looked up to see his mother hesitating in the doorway, as he had a minute ago. “May I come in?” she asked, her voice so quiet it was almost lost in the crowded church. “Are you here to support Pastor Noah?” Pamela sounded friendly, but the warning was clear enough. Evelyn looked directly at Noah. “I am, Pastor. I don’t agree with what Pastor Tony is doing. It’s not right, and it’s not Christian.” Her eyes sought Tommy’s in appeal. There were so many things Tommy could say to his mother. She had taken a big step in coming back, and didn’t deserve his censure, not right then. On the other hand, he didn’t trust her sudden appearance, either. “You go speak to the others,” he said to Noah. “I want to talk to my mom first.” Noah raised an eyebrow. “You don’t trust her?” “Not entirely. She could be here to spy on us. On the other hand, she might be genuine.” Tommy left Noah’s side to collect his mother, who seemed frozen to the spot.

204

Sue Brown

Tommy pulled her into a side room, needing to know her motives before he relaxed enough for her to speak to Noah. “Does Dad know you’re here?” “He knows.” He gave a wry smile at her terse answer. “He doesn’t approve of you being here, does he?” His mom bit her lip. “Your dad… he thinks I’m here for the wrong reasons.” Tommy thought his dad had a point. “Why are you here—really?” Evelyn paused, seemingly parsing her words before she spoke. “You know that I’ve been unhappy with the church since Tony and Mary took over.” “I know they said things you didn’t agree with about women in the home,” Tommy said carefully. Because of course it’s all right to proclaim against homosexuals, but women are a different matter. “They said more than that. They said things….” She trailed off. “About me?” Tommy was unsurprised to see her nod. “You said things. You said I was a disgusting creature. You came to Noah’s church knowing he was a homosexual, knowing that the people you were talking to were homosexuals. You enjoyed your time here, and you still turned on me when I told you I was gay.” She wouldn’t look at him as she said, “It’s one thing to accept it in others and quite another to accept in your own flesh and blood.” Tommy rubbed at his temples. He could feel the beginnings of a tension headache. “It’s no different, Mom. We are all the same. All human. So why did you really come back here? Just to play poker again?” Evelyn laid a hand on his shirt. The top of her head only reached his shoulder. Sometimes he forgot just how small she was. “Tommy, you’re my son. My whole life I’ve only wanted you to be happy. I heard about Childes’s threats against you. No mother wants to hear that godless little heathen is threatening her son. He’s been a bully and a coward all his life.” She took a deep breath, and the next words came out in a rush. “Look, I don’t like that you’re gay. I don’t understand it. I’m a good Christian woman, and scripture tells me you’re letting Satan walk with you. But you’re my son, and you’re a good boy. And I love

Complete Faith

205

my son, and no outsider is going to tell me I can’t love my son, pastor or not.” All his life, Tommy had wanted acceptance from his mother, and now he had it. Qualified acceptance, admittedly, but his mom still loved him. “I’m in love with Noah,” he blurted out. To her credit, his mom didn’t show much reaction. “I heard. I knew it before, but I just couldn’t deal with it. Pastor Noah feels the same way, doesn’t he?” she asked. Tommy grinned. “Yeah, he does.” “He’s a lot older than you.” His smile drained away at her words. She rolled her eyes. “Tommy, you’re my son. I’d say that if you were with a woman.” “Mom!” She giggled. His mom giggled. Tommy wanted to die on the spot. “Are you two joining us?” Luke stood some distance away, not trying very hard to hold back his amusement. “Are you ready?” Tommy asked his mom. She swallowed and nodded, walking past both men. Tommy followed in her wake, refusing to catch Luke’s eye. Luke fell into step, his stick clicking on the bare floorboards of the church. “Consider it payback for all the times you’ve seen Momma do the same thing to me.” “Your momma does it to everyone,” Tommy murmured. “That she does. Nice to see your mom doing the same thing.” They reached the front, where Noah was explaining that Pastor Tony had called an extraordinary meeting of the council to decide whether Noah should be removed from St. Mark’s. “When is the meeting?” Pamela asked, although Tommy could lay odds she already knew. “It’s next week. Thursday. I’ve been called to appear before the council.” Jeannie raised her hand. “Is it an open meeting?”

206

Sue Brown

“Yes, it is,” Noah admitted, “but….” “Then we are going to be there,” Pamela said firmly. There were loud calls of agreement. Noah shook his head. “I don’t think so. It’s better that I go to this meeting by myself.” Tommy could see the stress Noah was under. Subtly he moved closer to Noah, so that the pastor could feel he was there. “We want to support you. Jackson isn’t getting the church without a fight.” Pamela would probably take on the whole council if the meeting didn’t go the way she wanted. Noah sagged a little, and Tommy gave up the pretense of standing close. He stepped forward and wrapped his arm around Noah’s shoulders. Ray came forward with a chair, and Noah sat down. “You know what Pastor Jackson did to the town. If he can mobilize a whole town, what could he do with a small group of men? The man is charismatic, articulate, and his wife is even worse.” “That’s true,” muttered Evelyn. “She’s the real driving force and the one causing all the problems. He talks the good talk, but she’s the one who believes it.” “If you go there, all the language, the hatred, the bigotry, you’ll be exposed to it,” Noah said to the crowd of people watching him. “The Jacksons and the people like them don’t care that you’re listening. I don’t want you to hear it. And the women won’t be allowed to talk. Pamela, you will have to sit silently, or they’ll remove you.” “Stupid rule,” Pamela muttered. Greg smirked. “We could do with that rule at home.” To Tommy’s surprise, Macken stood up. “If they don’t go, then you’ll be railroaded,” he said bluntly. “I’ve heard your sermons, Pastor. You’re good, but he’s better. He’s also being supported by the likes of Childes and Stevenson.” “At least take Momma and Pops,” Luke urged. “Jackson can’t affect them with his rhetoric.” “You wanna bet?” Pamela said. “You think all the trouble last year was a walk in the park?”

Complete Faith

207

“Momma…,” Luke began. “Don’t you momma me, Luke Murray.” Pamela’s face went red. Tommy stepped forward to head off a potential clash between the Murrays. “We’re all going. Gay, straight, old, and young. We’ll show the council that St. Mark’s is more than just a gay church. It’s a place where all are welcome, and that’s because of Noah. He might not be the top man at sermonizing, but as a pastor, our pastor, he’s the one we want.” A small cheer went up from the congregation, and a scattering of applause. Noah stared at him with something in his eyes that Tommy couldn’t identify. “You need to tell them the rest, Noah,” Ray said firmly. “The rest?” Tommy asked. There was more? Noah dragged his eyes away from Tommy to look at the others. “You need to know that I’ve been told it’s a lost cause. By the end of next week, I won’t be the pastor of St. Mark’s. One of few committee members left that support me called me last night to say that Jackson and Childes have the ear and wallets of 80 percent of the committee.” Tommy ignored the gasps of the others and caught Luke’s eye. The boss gave him a small nod. “Then you start a free church. Those who want to can stay here, and the rest—” “All!” one of the women shouted. Tommy grinned but continued, “The rest of us can follow you.” “But we won’t have anywhere to worship. And I’ll have to find somewhere to live. We’ll have to find somewhere to live,” Noah amended. “Let me and Simon deal with that,” Luke said. “We’ll provide you with a cottage and a barn. It’ll be rough and ready at first, but the boys will help to fix it.” Tommy waited for what came next. A roguish grin crossed Luke’s face. “’Sides which, Pastor, we know you like being close to the animals.” Noah’s eyes widened innocently. “That’s mighty generous of you, Luke. ’Course, it’ll mean you and Simon have no excuses for not

208

Sue Brown

attending church, won’t it?” He laughed at the sour look that crossed Luke’s face. One all, Tommy thought gleefully. Luke had obviously not thought it through. No more sneaking off on a Sunday morning on the pretense of giving the hands a day off. The meeting continued, albeit on a smaller scale. Pamela wanted a clear strategy for approaching the council. If she couldn’t make her voice heard on the day, she was damn well going to make sure they heard her before the meeting started. Some of the people left, having to get back to the work. Luke and Simon had to get back to the ranch, and they took Greg with them. The ladies stayed behind. They had some hard talking to do about the fund for the church roof, raised by their poker games. Barb, who’d lost her son in a homophobic attack, was determined not a cent was going to repairing a building that was about to be stolen by another homophobe. Noah looked wiped. Tommy and Ray looked at the pastor and made a decision for him. “Momma, I’m taking Noah home for a rest. Can you finish up the meeting without us?” Tommy asked, drawing Noah to his feet. She nodded, getting up to kiss Noah on the cheek. “You go and sleep. We’ve got it worked out.” Pamela looked carefully at the pastor. “You’re a silly man for hiding that from us. What do you think we are here for?” “I thought…,” Noah began. “You didn’t think. That was the problem.” She scolded him as she would one of her sons, real and adopted. As they walked across the yard, Noah laughed ruefully. “I thought I was the head of this church. Somewhere along the line, I got replaced.” “No, you didn’t. You’re our spiritual head. The little details can be looked after by the rest of us. You just got told off by Momma for forgetting that. Even Jesus had his disciples who looked after him.” “You think being kicked out of a church I started from scratch a little detail?”

Complete Faith

209

Tommy realized that he’d hurt Noah’s feelings. St. Mark’s had been a dead church, somewhere to stick the gay black pastor that no one wanted. Its regular congregation could be counted on the fingers of both hands, excluding the thumbs. Noah had built it up from nothing, making it a warm place where everyone was welcome. Despite the nature of the new people who joined the church, the original congregants were still members. “You’re being kicked out of the denomination and the building,” he pointed out carefully. “The council imposed rules you didn’t agree with, and the building leaked when it rained. The real church is you, Noah. Not the trappings. People will follow you, not the name.” Noah didn’t reply. Tommy chanced a look at him to see tears spilling silently down Noah’s cheeks. Rather than speaking again, Tommy steered Noah into the house, out of sight of the rest of the world, and let Noah lean against him. When Noah had calmed, Tommy spoke again. “You’re not alone anymore.” He felt Noah heave a great sigh. “I forgot that. I’m so used to being the support, I forgot that I have my own rock. Forgive me?” Tommy rubbed Noah’s back comfortingly. “There’s nothing to forgive, lover. You’re mine and I’m yours. That’s all that matters.” He kissed Noah’s damp cheeks and led him to the sofa, wrapping himself around Noah for the rest of the morning. They were eating lunch when Noah’s phone rang. Tommy frowned and went to answer it, knowing that Noah was far from well enough to answer any calls. Noah stopped him with a gentle hand. “Let me,” he said, and he answered the phone. Noah listened to the caller for a while and then said, “I’ll be over in an hour. No, don’t you worry. We’ll deal with it together.” Tommy glared at him as he put the phone down. “You need rest, not work,” he snapped. Noah shook his head. “No, I don’t. I need to be reminded what I’m good at. Skip needs help with his housing and benefits.” “Aren’t there people that can help him with that?” “Yes, there are. But he likes me to help him. It won’t take long. Why don’t you come with me? He likes you.”

210

Sue Brown

Tommy suddenly remembered who Skip was: an elderly gentleman with wandering hands who had a penchant for groping Tommy’s ass. He was about to say no way when he caught Noah’s unspoken request. “All right. But you stand behind me until I sit down.” Laughing, Noah tossed a piece of bread at Tommy. “He does like feeling up your young ass,” he agreed. “You ought to be flattered. He’s never been anywhere near mine.” “Count yourself lucky.” Tommy was tempted to pad out his pants with a cushion to protect himself from the bruises Skip was bound to inflict. “Never mind, baby-honey. I’ll rub cream on the bruised areas tonight,” Noah promised. “Let me fuck you instead, and we have a deal,” Tommy shot back, and then he held his breath. They hadn’t discussed the question of Tommy topping Noah at all. In truth, sex hadn’t been at the top of their minds since Tommy had moved in, both of them too exhausted to do more than the odd blowjob or masturbatory session in the shower. “Deal,” Noah said immediately, and he gave Tommy such a suggestive wink that Tommy felt his dick stir in his sweatpants. “How long does it take to get to Skip’s?” Tommy asked, somewhat breathlessly. Noah groaned. “Too long. Stop that.” “What? This?” Tommy leaned back and deliberately adjusted his cock through his pants, letting Noah see exactly how he felt about the idea of topping Noah. From the tent in Noah’s pants, he wasn’t entirely unaffected, either. “Bastard!” Noah hissed, doing some unsubtle adjusting of his own. Tommy smirked and sat back to finish his lunch. If he was going to have to visit an old man with inappropriate ideas, then he was going to keep Noah on edge all afternoon. It was going to drive Noah crazy and keep Tommy highly entertained. Skip would probably enjoy the show.

Complete Faith

211 Chapter Twenty-Five

NOAH was laid out beneath him on the sheets, a feast just for him, chocolate surrounded by pure cream. Tommy thought he must look out of place, the carrot in the bed, and said as much. “The blushing cherry on top,” Noah corrected him firmly. Firm indeed as he jacked Tommy’s hard-as-nails cock. The idea of tormenting Noah all afternoon? Came back to bite Tommy firmly on the ass, and it wasn’t Skip’s wandering hands, either. By the time this moment had arrived, Tommy had been hard for so long, one more touch like that and he would blow before he got anywhere near Noah’s ass. Tommy removed Noah’s hands from his dick, ignoring Noah’s smirk. He reached for the lube, determined to wipe that look off Noah’s face, and before nerves got the better of him. Tommy knew what he had to do, of course. Noah had prepared him many times. Now it was his turn, and frankly, he was nervous as fuck. “Shhh,” Noah soothed. “Just go slow.” He could do slow; glacial would be just fine. Tracing a slick finger down Noah’s dark shaft, Tommy felt it twitch under his fingers. He teased Noah’s tight balls before traveling farther back, pushing Noah’s thighs apart to get a better view. Tommy’s mouth went dry. Hell, Tommy wasn’t sure he’d make it as far as fucking Noah. One look at that tightly furled hole, and Tommy was ready to explode over Noah’s belly. Noah would probably like that too.

212

Sue Brown

Thinking of anything but what he was about to do, Tommy pressed one finger into the tight heat. Noah gasped and Tommy stopped, waiting until the pained look on Noah’s face eased. “More,” Noah said, opening his eyes. Easing his finger in more, Tommy caught his lip between his teeth as Noah moaned. “’Nother one,” Noah ordered. “You sure?” Tommy queried, because jeez, Noah was like a vise. Noah moaned again. “Sure. You feel so good.” Each finger produced more noises that made Tommy feel hot and powerful, particularly when a brush of his fingertips made Noah arch off the bed with a yell. Tommy leaned over to get a condom, but Noah said, “We don’t need it. No rubber. I just want to feel you.” A lick of lube, and then Tommy held his breath as he pressed into Noah’s body, hearing Noah gasp and moan under him. There was one moment when Tommy thought it was going to be all over before he’d gotten all the way in, but he forced himself back from the brink of climax. Noah’s body opened up, welcomed him in. “Good?” Noah gasped out, sweat beading his brow. Tommy shook his head. “Not good. So much more than that.” “Then fuck me.” Tommy obeyed, his tentative thrusts getting harder as Noah urged him on. He pulled Noah closer, almost folded back in half as he pounded into Noah. It was primal; Noah offered himself up, and Tommy took it all. Took it, and gave it back until they were both breathless and covered in sweat. Noah jacked himself in time with Tommy’s thrusts. Tommy felt guilty for not doing it himself, but he couldn’t focus on more than one thing, and that one thing was fucking into Noah with every fiber of his being. “Oh, Tom, Tommy, oh, uh.” Noah’s voice rose. He clutched Tommy’s arms, nails digging painfully into Tommy’s muscles.

Complete Faith

213

His legs trembling and his balls screaming with the effort of not coming, Tommy couldn’t hold back any longer. “I gotta come, Noah. I can’t wait.” “Do it.” A final thrust, Tommy’s hips stuttering as he emptied into Noah’s body, and then Noah climaxed, his channel clenching around Tommy’s cock to draw out Tommy’s orgasm. With a supreme last effort, Tommy managed not to fall onto Noah’s body but aimed loosely to one side of him. He collapsed limply facedown onto the sheets, his breathing as ragged as the man’s next to him. Moaning in relief as he unfolded his legs, Noah rolled over to face Tommy. As Tommy recovered, Noah stroked his hand down Tommy’s back, cupping his ass before starting the soothing caress over again. “You all right, my Tom?” Noah asked when Tommy made no effort to move. “How do you manage to walk?” He was completely boneless, his limbs not responding to basic commands. Noah burst out laughing. “Shouldn’t that be my line?” “Did I hurt you?” Suddenly concerned, Tommy found the energy to sit up. Laughing softly, Noah tugged on Tommy’s forearm. “No, babyhoney, you didn’t hurt me. Come back to me.” Tommy obliged, curling around Noah. He wanted to say something profound about what had just happened, but honestly, his brain was the consistency of noodle soup. He settled for cuddling Noah instead, enjoying the closeness of their bodies. Noah smelled of sweat and musk and, Tommy realized with smug satisfaction, of him. It was peaceful for a while until Noah started fidgeting. “Wassa matter?” Tommy mumbled, almost asleep. Noah sighed. “I’d forgotten how messy it was to bottom without a rubber.” Curious, Tommy slid his fingers between Noah’s legs, feeling the sticky mess. His mess. A wave of heat flashed through him.

214

Sue Brown

“Next time you can lick it up.” Noah said. Tommy buried his burning face in Noah’s neck, ignoring Noah’s soft chuckle. There was definitely going to be a next time.

NOAH insisted Tommy go back to work after a couple of days, saying that he had to prepare for the meeting even if the outcome was futile. Back at the Lost Cow, Tommy found solace in the day-to-day work. He was worried about Noah, who was withdrawn and miserable, the spiritual spark that Tommy loved extinguished by the prospect of losing his home and his livelihood. A good pastor despite his problems, Noah still took the time to visit every member of his congregation, some of the older ones needing his reassuring words. Many of his flock did their own reassuring, telling him they would follow him wherever he went. Tommy watched Noah trying to be strong and stoic, hiding the fact he was shit-scared. Noah shrugged off their comfort, unable to stay composed in the face of kind words. It was only Tommy that was allowed to hold Noah in the privacy of their own home. The question of money worried Noah. Tommy didn’t realize how much until two days before the meeting when he woke up in the middle of the night to find himself alone. Padding quietly downstairs, Tommy found Noah sitting at the table, his head in his hands. All around him were crumpled-up pieces of yellow paper. “Noah?” Tommy sat down next to him. Noah raised his head. He looked wrecked. “Baby, what’s the matter?” Tommy was frightened by the defeated expression in Noah’s eyes. “How are we going to survive?” Noah asked. “Without my salary, we have nothing. I have nothing. I can’t just set up a new church from nothing. That takes money that I haven’t got now. I know I should believe that God will provide, but….” He trailed off miserably. It was then that Tommy realized Noah hadn’t been listening at all to anything people had been telling him for the last few days. Despite his brave words, Noah was still thinking he had to start again from scratch, like before, and the time before that.

Complete Faith

215

Not bothering to answer, Tommy went into the kitchen and put the coffeemaker on. While the coffee was brewing, Tommy went upstairs and dug out his small black case, which housed all his important paperwork. Five minutes later he was back at the table, placing a coffee cup in front of Noah. He opened up his black case and handed Noah a Ziploc bag with his bank statements in. “Noah, this is my savings account.” Obviously confused, Noah took the bag and looked at the top statement. His eyes widened as he took in the figure at the bottom of the statement. “Hells bells.” Tommy took care not to grin at him. “This is my checking account.” He handed another bag over. Noah took it as if it might burst into flames. He looked at the bottom number. “I’ve been in the wrong job.” “That is what we will live on.” Shaking his head, Noah said, “I can’t take your money. This is your college money.” “You’re not taking my money. It’s our money to set up our life together.” Tommy placed another bank statement in front of him. Noah frowned. “What’s this?” The account wasn’t in Tommy’s name. The amount of money was staggering when you considered what it was. “This was going to pay for the new roof at St. Mark’s. This is from the poker games. Now it will go to fit out the new church. It’s not nearly enough, of course, but it’s a start.” “I can’t take this. It’s St. Mark’s money.” Tommy snorted. “Actually it’s the Bible study group’s money, and they can spend it how they damn well like. I can assure you, not a single cent will be spent on St. Mark’s if they throw you out. ’Sides which, the coven is coming with you.” Noah didn’t look convinced. “It doesn’t seem right. I ought to talk to the ladies.”

216

Sue Brown

“Good luck with that one.” Tommy had overheard Pamela and Evelyn discussing the group’s consensus of opinion. He fled after five minutes. Good Christian ladies really shouldn’t know what half the words meant. Finishing his coffee, Tommy waited for Noah to process what he’d just been shown. “What are you telling me?” Noah asked, touching each statement in turn. “That you need to get it into that thick skull of yours”—Tommy tapped Noah on the top of his head—“that you aren’t alone anymore. You have a partner, a lover, and a congregation, who are willingly going to spend their money to make an old barn fit for worship.” “Why are they doing this?” Tommy heard the genuine bewilderment in Noah’s voice. “Why don’t you ask them? As for me, it’s simple. I love you.” “I love you too.” Tommy frowned. It sounded automatic rather than a true response, but he didn’t call Noah on it. “I just want it over with.” Noah laid his head back on the table. “Two days, and you’ll know one way or the other. Come back to bed.” Tommy held out his hand. “I’m not really tired,” Noah said. Tommy looked at him sagging against the table. “Tough. Bed. Now!” Noah looked at Tommy. “You’re getting bossy.” “I’m your partner. It’s allowed,” Tommy pointed out. “Now move.” For a moment he thought that Noah was going to say no, and he contemplated manhandling Noah to bed. The man was exhausted, and staying up to worry some more about problems that didn’t need fixing was not going to do him any good. To Tommy’s relief, Noah nodded and let Tommy take him into the bedroom. In their bed, Tommy settled around him, tugging Noah back so that he could curl around Noah’s body. Noah sighed, pressing back in response. “Needed this.”

Complete Faith

217

“I know. Now go to sleep.” Tommy nosed a kiss into the back of Noah’s neck, tasting the sourness of sweat and fear. He held Noah even closer. “Love you.” “I love you, Tom.” That sounded like Noah meant it, and Tommy breathed out a little sigh of relief.

FINALLY lunchtime arrived. Tommy watched the men and women stream out of the meeting hall at the denomination’s headquarters. The room had been completely full as the congregation of St. Mark’s had come to watch the hatchet job the Jacksons wanted to do to their pastor. There were even more than at the meeting last week. His mom had been unable to get vacation time, but she had made sure Noah knew she was supporting him. Tommy admitted to Noah that he was waiting for the other shoe to drop and for her to go back to her old ways. Initially Pastor Tony had tried to get the crowd banned from listening to the proceedings, but the few men on the council that supported Noah had vetoed that suggestion. Then he tried to get the women removed, but Pamela had done her homework and pointed out the clause that allowed women to listen, if not to participate. Pastor Tony glared at her when the chairman of the meeting agreed with her comments. He himself had brought a small number of people with him, including his wife and, unsurprisingly, Wade Childes Senior and Gil Stevenson. “He’s not endearing himself to his new congregation, is he?” Simon murmured in Tommy’s ear as proceedings got underway. “He’s an asshole,” Luke said succinctly, loud enough that the object of his derision could hear. Momma tsked at him, and Noah rolled his eyes. Luke duly subsided, settling down next to Simon. Tommy just focused on Noah’s face, wanting his lover to know that he was completely supporting him. Partway through, a hand on his shoulder made Tommy jump. He looked up to see Lance and Marco sitting behind him. “Sorry we’re late,” Lance whispered. “Have we missed anything?”

218

Sue Brown

Tommy hadn’t even been aware that they were coming. He’d spoken to Lance just to let him know that the church would be moving to the Lost Cow, but the young man hadn’t mentioned anything about flying back to attend. “Not yet. They’re just wafflin’ on about why they’re calling the meeting,” Ray said. Noah’s assistant sat on the other side of Tommy. He looked as grim-faced as everyone else. Ray had been one of the first to join Noah when he moved into St. Mark’s, drawn to the young pastor because, as all his congregation had been, Ray had been rejected by his previous church unless he pretended he was straight. He adored Noah fiercely, although the pastor had assured Tommy that nothing had ever happened between them. Squeezing Ray’s hand, Tommy watched the meeting unfold with resignation. Pastor Tony’s aspirations became clear as it progressed. He hadn’t heard the pastor give a sermon, but the man was good, better than Noah even when Noah was fired up. He talked of God’s wrath that the denomination allowed Satan to walk among them, that it was up to the righteous to bring the lost congregation back to the right path and God had spoken to Tony to take charge. Tommy wondered exactly how the pastor thought he was going to persuade a congregation of abominations to follow him with fire and hatred, demanding that they suppress their true nature, after years of being accepted with love by Noah. And then there was the little matter of Luke and Simon. Tommy stopped listening after a while—it was nothing he hadn’t heard before—watching instead the faces of the council. It didn’t take a genius to realize that Noah stood little chance in the face of such selfserving smugness. When Noah had first arrived at St. Mark’s, it had been to an empty, rundown church that no one wanted. He was a gay black pastor with limited support that no one knew what to do with. Against all odds he had built up a small but faithful church. Now he was going to lose his ministry because someone with a grudge wanted him out. Pastor Tony took all morning to say what could have been summed up in five minutes. Tommy had to admire the man for not being remotely intimidated by the gays and lesbians facing him. The men and women surrounding Tommy didn’t let their emotions show, either. They sat stony-faced as Pastor Tony thundered at them, not

Complete Faith

219

ashamed and not bowing their heads. This was what Noah hadn’t wanted them to hear: Pastor Tony outlining his plans for destroying Satan within them. He stopped short of suggesting electric shock therapy. When a recess was called for lunch, Tommy hung back, waiting for Noah. The pastor gathered up his jacket and walked over to Tommy. “Macken was right. He is better than me,” was the first thing Noah said. “Perhaps he’d give me lessons.” “You have nothing to learn from him. Nothing!” Tommy said fiercely. Noah grinned ruefully. “You might be biased.” “We all are, pastor.” Tommy had been so focused on Noah, he hadn’t noticed that all their friends were gathered around them. Luke grinned at Noah. “Windy old fart, isn’t it?” There was a rumble of laughter around him, and even Pamela didn’t disagree. One by one, Noah’s congregation hugged the pastor, giving him their comfort and support. A few were in tears, and Noah whispered comforting words to them. Tommy stood back to let the men and women flock around their pastor. He noticed the council members looking over, some of them with disgust on their faces but some with sympathy. “Maybe it’s about time they saw how God’s love really works,” Greg said as he looked at the throng around Noah. “It won’t make any difference to the outcome, Boss.” “Nope, but it might get a few of ’em thinking.” The congregation had all brought picnics, and they gathered in a nearby park to eat their lunch. It was almost cheerful in a bizarre way. Noah leaned against Tommy as they ate, talking only when someone specifically talked to him. To Tommy’s amazement, a few more people joined them in the afternoon. Macken, the Bensons, and Lil turned up. Lil was a complete shock, as she wasn’t a Christian.

220

Sue Brown

Tommy gaped as she came over to see Noah. The pastor looked equally bemused to see her. “Shut your mouth, boys. You’ll be catching flies.” She greeted them with a hug and an acerbic comment, then moved over to talk to Greg and Pamela. “I….” Noah’s words seemed to fail him. “Oh my life!” “Noah?” Tommy looked up to see an expensively dressed black couple approaching them. They could only be Noah’s parents, judging from the fact that Noah’s father was almost a carbon copy of his son. “Mom, Dad. What are you doing here?” Noah gaped at them in amazement. His mother caught him up in a tight hug. “Supporting our son in his time of need. We’d have been here earlier, but we got caught in traffic. Have we missed the whole thing? What did they say?” “It’s not finished yet. Sir.” Noah held out his hand to his father. As he shook hands with his father, he asked, “How did you know about today?” “Tommy called us.” Noah’s mother turned to Tommy, who had been standing quietly to one side. “You have to be Tommy.” “Yes, ma’am.” He stepped forward only to be caught up in a hug and a wave of expensive perfume. Noah was staring at him, a frown between his eyes. “You called my parents and told them what was happening.” Swallowing hard, Tommy nodded. “Yes, I did.” “Why?” “Because he was worried about you and thought we ought to know what was happening to our son. Unlike you, who wouldn’t have told us until after the fact,” Mrs. Taylor scolded. Noah opened his mouth and closed it again. Then Greg and Pamela came over, Momma obviously dying to meet Noah’s parents. “Are you angry with me?” Tommy asked when the attention was off them. Noah looked at him, his mouth pressed in a thin line. “Can I get back to you on that?”

Complete Faith

221

Tommy stared at the ground unhappily. “I know you meant well, Tommy, but my parents are like a force of nature. They’ll come in and take over.” “He said what?” Noah sighed as his mother’s voice rose in fury. “See what I mean? Thank goodness she wasn’t there this morning. She’d have been heckling him.” “Good for her!” Tommy said. “You’ve no idea. Mom isn’t just protective of me. It’ll be you and the whole church. Why do you think I moved so far away?” Tommy started to laugh. “What’s so funny?” Noah asked, still frowning. “Your mom, Lil, and Momma together. It’ll be a miracle if the building is standing this afternoon.” Tears ran down Tommy’s face at the thought. “Don’t bust a gut,” Noah said sourly. “You just wait.”

222

Sue Brown Chapter Twenty-Six

IT

WAS difficult to know how Noah was really taking his removal

from St. Mark’s; his face was so calm. As the council members announced the result of their vote, seven to three in favor of replacing Noah with Tony, Tommy didn’t see Noah’s expression change. Pastor Tony sat back in satisfaction, only to be congratulated by Stevenson and Childes. The council had agreed Noah would be found another parish, after he had undertaken additional training to see the error of his ways. After the initial outburst, the crowd around Tommy was silent, taking in the news. Then Barb turned to her husband, saying loudly, “Best get some new tires on that old truck if we’re gonna to be travelin’ to the Lost Cow every week.” The chairman looked outraged. “Silence. Women are not allowed to speak in meetings.” Barb stood up slowly and stared at the chairman with open dislike. “I’ll speak whenever and wherever I like. I ain’t part of your church anymore.” “Nor me. Don’t want to worship with bigots and haters,” Greg agreed as he got to his feet. “Pastor Noah is my pastor, not someone who’s forgotten how to follow our Lord’s teachin’.” Baby Noah in her arms, Susan grinned at Noah as she made her affirmation. More of the ex-congregation of St. Mark’s got to their feet, ignoring the chairman’s calls for them to sit down and be quiet. Even Macken said his piece, staring in open dislike at the two ranchers.

Complete Faith

223

Finally Tommy stood and looked at Noah. “I’m yours,” he said and watched the smile spread across Noah’s face. The former pastor of St. Mark’s looked at his replacement. “Well, Tony, you’ve gained a building and lost a church. Good luck to you, and watch that leaky roof. It needs repairing soon. Won’t last another winter.” Noah looked at the council. “I quit.” “You can’t do that,” one of the councilmen insisted. “You are still a pastor working for us. You need guidance.” Noah shook his head. “Not anymore. I have a church to build and a congregation that needs me. You can argue about it if you want, but my first priority is the spiritual welfare of my flock.” Tommy watched as Noah walked over to where Tommy was sitting and pulled him in for a kiss. A long kiss. Eventually Noah raised his head and looked around at his friends. “Is there any reason we’re all still here? Don’t we have homes to go to? Churches to build?” “We were just waiting for you to put your boy down so you can give us some spiritual direction,” Luke drawled. Tommy felt Noah shiver. He wrapped his arms around his man and tried not to smirk. “Maybe that could wait until later. I think Noah could do with some peace and quiet.” “Is that what you young people are calling it these days?” Pamela stopped just short of a snort. “Well, the pastor’s going to have to wait for his… peace and quiet. There’s a tea back at the ranch for everyone to celebrate the founding of our new church.” Luke looked at Noah. “Sorry, Pastor, I couldn’t stop her.” The pastor looked over at his mother, who was talking to Lil and some of the Ladies’ Group. “Dad, does Mom play poker?” he asked in a panicked tone. Mr. Taylor looked over from where he was talking to Macken and Simon. “Yes, she does. Why?” he answered, confused by the question. “Oh no!” Noah buried his head in Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy patted him gently. “Never mind. Just think how much more money we’ll raise for the barn.”

224

Sue Brown

“You don’t understand. If she hears about the poker, she’ll never stay away. Mom’s been dying for an excuse to come down more often.” “You’ll just have to hide the sweaters, is all.” Tommy grinned at the thought of Noah’s mom’s reaction to the latest creation from Mrs. McKay: shades of purple edged with lavender. Noah loved it. Tommy was just glad it was nearly summertime and he wouldn’t have to see Noah wearing it very often. “I’m going to kill you,” Noah said as they were asked to leave the hall. “No you won’t,” Tommy said smugly. Noah stared at him with huge, dark eyes. “No, I won’t,” he admitted. Seeing the fear behind the snark, Tommy stopped and drew Noah closer to him. “You’ll be all right, Noah. We’ll look after you,” Tommy promised. “You’ll be by my side?” “I promise.” Noah was silent for a minute. “You’re gonna have to learn to play poker, y’know?” Puzzled, Tommy looked at Noah and then saw the mischievous grin on his face. “Oh no, Pastor. I am not going to be the pastor’s wife.” Noah patted him on the rump. “Whatever you say, dear.”

Meet Tommy and Noah in

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com

About the Author

SUE BROWN is owned by her dog and two children. When she isn’t following their orders, she can be found at university listening to lecturers discuss long-dead theologians. In her head, however, she’s plotting how to get her cowboys into bed together; she just hopes the lecturer doesn’t ask her any questions. Sue discovered M/M erotica at the time she woke up to find two men kissing on her favorite television series. The series was boring; the kissing was not. She may be late to the party, but she’s made up for it since, writing fan fiction until she was brave enough to venture out into the world of original fiction.

Also from SUE BROWN

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com