CURSED BY LOVE
ALSO BY KIM CORUM
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CURSED BY LOVE KIM CORUM
BELLE EPOCH
Cursed By Love. Copyright © 2011 by Kim Corum. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher. For more information, email
[email protected]. Published by Belle Epoch. eBook ISBN–13: 978-0-9837050-0-0 eBook ISBN–10: 0-9837050-0-3 First published in the United Kingdom and the United States in 2010 by Shocori under the title Witch Little.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.
For Clem.
Hey, Pretty I shivered. Maybe it was just the cold. I stared out into the darkness, blinking heavily, until things began to form—the shape of the trees, the dark sky which was barely lit with a crescent moon, the leaves as they scattered across the ground. I listened to the sound the leaves made, that dry, scratching sound, then I head a crunch, as if someone had stepped on an acorn. It was him. The crunching stopped and I froze. He was approaching. He was near me, for the first time in years, he was coming slowly, teasing me. I heard him inhale before he spoke. “Hey, pretty,” he said. “I’ve been looking for you.” His words were like ice in my heart. This was the moment. This was it. It was do or die. For once, for the final time, we would face off. This was not a friendly encounter, such as lovers meeting in the dark woods for a little escapade. This was not even a meeting, though it had been planned. I’d planned for this moment for years, waiting and watching. I was ready for it to be over. I was ready to see what would happen. In the end, I knew, it would be him or me. I hoped it was him. The crunching started up again as he circled me. He was moving closer. I felt a sudden urge to run, to be somewhere other than where I was. I wanted to flee as my fear told me this situation was no good, that it as foolish to face off with him, that I had to
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find another way. Problem was, there was no other way. This was it. I’d tried all the other ways and they’d all failed miserably. This was all I had left after an exhaustive search for a way to obliterate him from my life. Besides, I couldn’t leave. The spell I’d cast wouldn’t allow the coward in me to leave. It was time to finish this, one way or another. I began to chant, “Protection from the East,
Protection from the West, Protection from Beneath, Protection you bequeath.” He started laughing. I ignored him and continued to chant. Then I stopped, pulled the bag from my pocket and opened it. I summoned my courage and began to spread the mixture of ash and herbs I’d concocted earlier. I began to chant again, “Protection
from the East, Protection from the West, Protection from Beneath, Protection you bequeath.” Then I stopped, ready to face him. I didn’t lift up my head and I didn’t move as he neared me. I felt his presence, so strong, as he came to a halt behind me and the crunching stopped again. His hands were on my arms, sliding up and down. I cringed and felt the panic try to take over again. Stay strong, stay strong, stay— “Uh uh,” he said and snapped his finger. I immediately went flying, somersaulting through the air and landed on my face a few feet in front of him. As soon as I hit the ground, my body began to ache all over. I’d forgotten how strong he was. And how quick. He was so quick he was beginning to scare me. He was beside me almost instantly. He looked down into my face, trying to stare into my eyes. Don’t stare into his eyes…don’t
stare into his eyes… “What did I tell you about that?” he murmured, not as viciously as I’d expected.
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I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to remember how handsome he was. And he was handsome, probably one of the most handsome men on the planet. Too bad he was one bad motherfucker. “Ah, pretty,” he said and pushed the hair out of my face. “I’d forgotten how pretty you are. How long has it been?” Almost four years, that’s how long it had been. I opened my eyes and stared into his. They were the same eyes I used to look into with love. The same eyes I was once so enamored of. His eyes were icy blue surrounded by pale eyelashes that were thick and matched the dark blond hair on his head. The hair that he’d obviously been growing long and now fell into his eyes in a boyish manner. The hair that went perfectly with his exquisitely handsome face. Once, I’d loved that face just as I’d loved him. Now he terrified me, mostly because I knew what he was capable of. “Remember the first time I took you?” he said softly and looked around the woods. “It was in a place like this.” I closed my eyes in order to ward off the memory but it came anyway. It was a lovely memory, one I would always cherish. I opened my eyes again and we stared at each other. As we stared, a torrent of other memories came flooding at me. Maybe he was doing that, trying to break my concentration. But wherever they came from, they hurt. The first time we’d met, the first time we’d kissed, the first time we’d made love, the first time he’d gotten angry with me, the hurt and the rage that erupted from him as I made my biggest mistake ever. I squeezed my eyes shut. “Yeah, let’s don’t think about that,” he said. “We have some unfinished business.” I didn’t respond.
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“I think it’s about time you got up from there,” he said. “Now up!” I found myself on my feet in front of him. I shook my head as it swam. I couldn’t let that happen again. I suddenly felt it, he was coming at me again and this time I’d really be screwed if I didn’t pull my head out of my ass and ward him off. I hissed, “Tree.” He went flying and landed in the branches above me. He cursed for a moment then started laughing. “Parlor tricks!” he laughed. “You’re pulling those old parlor tricks.” I cut him out of my mind, closed the door, locked it and threw away the key. He was banished and he wouldn’t be back in my mind again. But he was back in front of me, standing right in front of me again. He shook his head at me and sighed. “You know,” he said. “I thought we could catch up a little before you started throwing me into trees.” I started to open my mouth but he roared, “Quiet!” and my mouth clamped shut. It was as if he’d sewn it shut. That really pissed me off. “Now shut up and listen,” he said and walked towards me. “I was beginning to wonder what took you so long. So, what took you so long, pretty?” Unleash! I told myself and my mouth unclamped. But I didn’t say anything. My mind was turned off to him and I told myself to not respond. Don’t respond, don’t respond. Don’t play his game.
This isn’t what this is about. Step back. One step back. Don’t get drawn in. Don’t— He shook his head. “How do you live with all that mumbojumbo swirling around inside your head all the time?”
Don’t speak…don’t say a word. Don’t play his game. Don’t— “Shh!” he snapped.
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My thoughts raced away like mercury spilling on the floor—all over they ran up and down my body before they disappeared into the darkness. God! He was so powerful. “Talk to me,” he said. “How have you been?” I asked, then gasped. How did he do that? Fuck! I’d never win if this was the way it was going to go. And I’d prepared for this. I’d studied books and potions and spells for years in preparation for this. He was too damn powerful. I was useless against him. Useless! Fuck! I hissed, Be gone! to myself and to my delight, I regained my senses. At least I still had the ability to do that, if nothing else. He chuckled to himself and shook his head. “We don’t have to pretend anymore.” “We don’t?” I asked against my better judgment. “No,” he said. “I already know your big secret.” My heart fell to my knees. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to get even. “Where is she?” he asked.
Don’t speak…don’t speak… “Where is she?!” he roared. “Who?” I asked. “You know damn well who I’m talking about,” he said and stepped to me. “My mother.” I stopped myself from breathing a sigh of relief. So he didn’t know. He’d been bluffing. “I know what she’s been up to,” he said and started pacing. “I know what she wants you to do. Well, she can come and do the dirty work herself.”
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I started to act again, but he was suddenly at me. Then I was on the ground and he was on top of me, binding me, not letting me move. I yelled, “Off!” He flew off me but landed on his feet. He seemed slightly impressed. “Getting stronger, ain’t ’cha?” I was getting distracted by his words. I suddenly saw that he was a bit off kilter. I saw that my opening was coming up and it was coming quickly. I had to do it and I couldn’t hesitate. “Rope!” I hissed. Ropes came up and tied themselves around him. He almost laughed, thinking this was a juvenile trick, that I was doing “parlor magic” as he liked to call it. “Steel!” I hissed and the ropes became steel, tightening against his chest and confining his breathing. The ropes would soon slither into his skin and bind his muscles so he wouldn’t be able to move at all. “Fuck!” he yelled and stumbled, falling onto his back. “What are you doing?” “Hole!” I snapped and a big hole dug itself under him and he fell into it. I ran to it and looked down at him. He was secure. He wasn’t going anywhere. “You!” he hissed. “What the hell is this? This won’t last! A binding spell never does, didn’t I teach you anything?” “Looks like it’s working to me,” I said. “Down, bitch!” he roared. I found myself in the hole with him, lying across him. He grinned at me. I spat into his face and started to rise back out but he shook his head and I found myself getting covered with roots from the earth. They came up all over me and slithered around me like a snake, pulling me off of him and into a corner of the hole. I screamed before I gained control and the next thing I knew, I was 6
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lying on top of him again. We were face to face, nose to nose. Our hearts were right on top of one another’s and they both were beating furiously. I could feel his. He could feel mine. We were too close. “Un—” “Shh,” he said and stared into my eyes. “Shh, pretty. Shh.” I felt my eyes closing. I shook my head and opened them quickly, ready to fight him more. I was to the point that I could have killed him and I would have if I didn’t need him for something. “Oh, Witch Little,” he said. “What the hell happened to us?” I shook my head. “I don’t know.” “You used to call me baby,” he murmured and rubbed his nose against mine. “You used to love me. What happened?” “You know what happened,” I said. He grimaced bitterly and looked away quickly, then back at me. “Why couldn’t you love me instead of him?” You know, that was a good question. “I mean,” he said. “I mean… I don’t fucking know what I mean. All I know is that I was looking forward to seeing you again, though I knew you were out to kill me. How fucked up is that, Witch Little?” He’d always called me that, from the day he’d met me. I’d taken it as an insult as I didn’t know he’d meant it as a compliment. And I hadn’t even known I was a witch then. “I guess it doesn’t matter now,” he said. “You got me now, Witch Little. You got me now. Ropes of steel, I have to give it to you. I wouldn’t have thought of that. You sure did outdo me this time and quickly, too. Man! You are quick, a little too quick. I thought we’d chat about the past or something. Reminisce, you know?” 7
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My eyes welled up with tears, though I told myself that I wasn’t going to feel anything tonight, that if I felt something, he’d get me. But I was feeling something, something so strong it almost made me gag. All the old feelings, that old love we’d had, hadn’t died. Just being this near to him was enough to bring all that back. “We could go back,” he said. “You wanna go back?” I didn’t know. I had to go forward now. I couldn’t afford to go back. I found myself saying, “Sure, we could go back.” He smiled. “Go back, that’s a great thing, isn’t it? Maybe we can go back and not do what we did. Get a second chance or something.” I nodded. “I guess it doesn’t matter anymore,” he said. “I can’t run anymore and I can’t hide. But it was good to see you. You can do what you have to now. I understand. In fact, I was ready to do it to you. Oh, by the way, thanks for digging me this nice grave.” The roots began to fall off me. I shook out my arms, then leaned over and pulled a chunk of his hair out. Once I had it, I was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief. Mission almost completed. “Fuck! Ow! Why did you do that? Shit! Witch Little, if you’re going to kill me, kill me, but do not fucking raise me from the dead! I don’t want to be a fucking zombie!” I put the hair in a bag I’d brought and said, “It’s not for you.” “Huh?” he asked, shaking his head. “Look, I don’t care, just do it, okay? Get it over with. You don’t want me to get my strength back.” “No, I don’t,” I said then took out a needle from my jacket and stuck it into his arm, drawing out his blood. What the fuck are you doing?!” he yelled. “Shut up,” I told him. “You got him,” a voice from above came. 8
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I froze then looked up. “What are you doing here?” He stared too. “Mother?” She stared at him, then at me. “Did you get it?” “I got it,” I said and started to rise up out of the hole. “Hold,” he said. I was about halfway up when I suddenly realized I couldn’t move. My feet were dangling in the air in front of his face. “What is going on here?” he asked. “Mother?” “Son,” she said coldly. “Granny?” “Oh, shit,” I cried. “What is she doing here?” Just then, she came up and stared down at us, her little body grabbing onto her grandmother’s shoulder for balance. I stared up at my daughter and at once felt my maternal instinct kick in. I almost wanted to yell, “Get her out of here!” But I couldn’t. She had to be here, even though having her here was harder for me than dealing with him. It almost split my focus. “Mommy?” she asked me. “Is that him?” “Who the fuck is that?” he asked and glared at me. “Oh, I get it. What are you going to do with my hair and blood?” “She needs it,” I said. “She’s sick.” “Like I care,” he hissed. “Now I’m not playing anymore. You had your chance. Down!” I fell down on top of him. I felt his strength returning. He was that strong, so strong I could feel him regaining his power. I said, “Wait. Please, don’t. Only you can help her now. She needs you.” He stared at me. “Fuck you. Why would I do that for your bastard child?” I stared him dead in the eyes and replied, “Because she’s your daughter.”
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He stared at us and for once, he didn’t have a snappy comeback. In fact, he couldn’t speak as my words hit him and hit him hard. Now I finally had control of the situation. Now I could finally do what I came here to do. But first, as he’d said, we had some unfinished business. “So,” I said. “I thought you wanted to go back.” He looked from me to her. “I think we should. Go back.”
Back Sometimes our mothers are right. I was in love with him from the moment I laid eyes on him. I was only fifteen, a kid really, a young girl trying to become a woman. He was tall with a lean physique. He was older than me, almost seventeen. He drove a late sixties cool black Mustang which, of course, caught my eye. “Stay away from those people,” my mother warned me. “Why?” I asked. “They aren’t right,” she said and narrowed her eyes at me. “Where did they come from? It’s like they just showed up overnight.” I shrugged. I didn’t know where they came from. All I knew was that he was tall, handsome and had a funny name—Knute. “What kind of name is that? Knute?” she asked and went to the window of our small house and looked out. “I don’t like that boy, not one bit, Clemmy.” “Well, what kind of name is Clementine?” I asked and crossed my arms.
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“It was your grandmother’s name,” she snapped and glared at me. “Well, I never liked it,” I told her. “You don’t have much choice,” she muttered and turned back to the window. “Who are those people?” “It’s just him and his mother,” I said. “How do you know?” I swallowed hard and tried to come up with a hasty excuse. “Well, someone at school—” “Someone at school, my ass!” she hissed. “Did you ride home with him?” I had. I hadn’t meant to as my mother refused to let me date. But then again, when someone as cool as Knute comes up and asks if you want a ride home, it’s hard to say no, even if your mom is crazy and will surely punish you for your disobedience. And the way he’d said it—“Oh, Miss Clementine Harmon, would you like a ride home?”—was just so funny and cute. Who could resist? Not me. I didn’t care if I was going to catch hell for it, either. It was worth whatever she was going to give me. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. And it sure as hell beat riding the bus. “That’s it,” she said. “You’re grounded.” “For how long?” “Until you’re thirty,” she hissed and glared at me. “I’m telling you, Clemmy, I don’t like that boy one bit.” But I did. It did occur to me that Knute and his mother stuck out like a sore thumb in our small town of Webster, Tennessee. They were
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from “someplace else” but where that someplace else actually was… Well, that was anyone’s guess. They were stylish and looked like they had money. They had bought the old Farmer house, the mansion that had been sitting empty for decades. It was made of stone and sat all by itself on top of a big hill. It was a huge old house that scared all the local kids because, of course, we believed it was haunted. They were like something out of a movie. While Knute drove a sports car, his mother tooled around town in an exquisite Rolls Royce. A Rolls Royce! I didn’t even know what a Rolls Royce was then. But it looked pretty. And she looked beautiful. Both of them had enough of an air of mystery to stir up all kinds of gossip amid the locals. I had been told to stay away from them, especially from “that boy.” Of course, I didn’t want to stay away from him. He was every young girl’s dream. He was tall, light, and handsome. He was funny and made everyone in school laugh. Everyone wanted to be his friend. Of course, he was a senior and I was only a sophomore, which made me feel a little undeserving of his affections, which he was not hesitant to display. But I’d been told to stay away from Knute from my overprotective mother and, in order to keep the peace, I stayed away. I hated it, of course, but it was the only thing I knew how to do— follow orders from my mother. So, I dodged him in the halls of our high school and I ignored him in the cafeteria. As I’d already accepted a ride from him, this seemed to confuse him and he’d try to stop me and talk to me, perhaps looking for an explanation for my erratic behavior. But I’d tell him I was in a hurry to get to my next class and practically run away from him. “What’s wrong?” he asked one day. 12
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“Nothing,” I said and avoided his yes. “I’m sick. I have to go.” His mouth dropped as I scurried off and I could feel his eyes on me. I did look over my shoulder at him, but I kept walking. Not long after that, he stopped pursuing me and started going out with this other girl, which really burned me up. Here I’d had him eating out of the palm of my hand and I threw it all away. All because of my mother and her paranoid delusions! How dare she ruin my life? “I’m warning you,” she said. “Stay away from that boy!” Damn it! “And I mean it!” she yelled after I’d slammed my bedroom door. In the meanwhile, fall turned to winter and I turned sixteen. Spring came and then summer. Knute graduated high school. I thought he’d be gone soon and the thought was killing me. Why hadn’t I given him a chance? Why hadn’t I given myself a chance? I was more than sure he was sleeping with this other girl and would talk about it any chance I could with my best friend. “Good God, Clemmy,” Sylvia said. “Get over yourself!” “But he was mine,” I wailed. “I had him.” “And you threw him away,” she told me. “Besides, all those other boys like you. Go out with one of them.” That was the problem. I couldn’t and I couldn’t because my mother forbade me to go out with anyone. She was preserving my chastity and that meant no boys. She told me I was beautiful and that my dark brown hair and blue eyes would always spark a boy’s interest. When I’d protest and complain about my freckles or short stature, she’d laugh and say, “You don’t get it. Good. Keep thinking like that.” But I had to ignore the boys. They’d mess my life up. She had bigger plans for me than boys and babies. She talked constantly of me going to college and “getting the hell out of Webster.” 13
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“You have to go, Clementine,” she’d say over and over. “You have to get out of here. You can’t stay here. There’s nothing here.” She was right. The only thing Webster offered was a small grocery store and a drive-in restaurant where I worked during the summer. One day, I found myself taking an order to a black Mustang. I knew it was Knute’s and as I approached, I saw that he had that little snob, Melissa Watson, in the car with him. Oh, God, I could not stand that girl. It was too much. I turned on my heel and walked back into the kitchen where I sat the bag on the counter. “What’s that?” the manager/cook/owner asked. “That’s for that black car.” “What do you mean?” he hissed. “Take it out to them.” “No,” I said. “Why not?” I stared out the window at them and grew even more embarrassed. I wasn’t about to wait on him and his whore. Well, maybe she wasn’t a whore. But I’d be willing to bet she was a slut. “Clementine,” he said. “If you don’t take that bag to that car, you are fired.” I took off my waitress apron and said, “Then I quit!” And I walked out, ignoring his protests and a heavy gaze from Knute. I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care about anything. Oh, shit! I didn’t have a ride. My mom always picked me up after she got off work. Damn it! I couldn’t win. I guess I’d just have to walk home, though home was almost ten miles away and once I got off the main road, it was dirt back roads all the way. And, since it had just rained, that meant muddy back roads. Great! What luck! At least the sun was out now, but it was already getting hot and humid. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail as I walked and cursed Knute under my breath. He knew I worked there. Why did he 14
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have to come to my job? And now my mother would kill me. She said I had to earn money for my school clothes. Great! Maybe I should just keep walking right out of town and hitch to Knoxville where I could start a new life. Running away seemed like a logical plan. I felt as though my life was ruined all because I hadn’t gotten what I wanted and I had wanted Knute. I was about half-way home when it finally dawned on me. I had quit my job! What an idiot I was! And over that jackass! I shook my head in disgust at myself. Maybe if I went back and begged, my boss would give me my job back. That’s what I’d do. If I got my job back, my mom wouldn’t kill me and I could buy myself some nice clothes for school instead of relying on her. Besides she always bought the cheapest clothes she could find. They never fit well and always wore out quickly. I turned around and headed back to the drive-in. Just then I saw the car—his car—coming up the road. My mouth dropped open and I turned around and started back towards home. His car kept approaching and soon he had pulled up beside me and slowed down. “Hey!” he called through the open passenger window. I ignored him, feeling absolutely mortified. “Clementine,” he said. “Don’t ignore me.” “Shut up!” I hissed. “What is wrong with you?” he asked. I shook my head and ignored him. He pulled the car up in front of me and stopped. I walked around it. He got out of the car and caught up with me. I sped up and was almost running. “Hey!” he said. “Give me a minute!” I kept running. He kept following. Soon, he’d caught up with me, grabbed my arm and forced me to stop. I glared at him and huffed, “What do you want?” 15
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“I just want to talk,” he said. “That’s all I ever wanted.” “No, you wanted Melissa,” I said. “Melissa?” he said, confused. “Oh, her. No, not really. I just went out with her to make you jealous.” I wanted to slap him. “Did it work?” he asked. Of course it worked! Look at me! I was a pathetic mess of mixed emotions. On one hand, I was flattered that he’d followed me, but on the other I was pissed off that he’d touched Melissa. The thought of him and her touching made me physically sick. God, I felt like such a loser. And all over “that boy.” Maybe my mom had been right about him. “I guess it did,” he said and laughed a little. Before I could stop myself, I slapped that smug look right off his face. And I didn’t regret it one bit. His mouth dropped and he held his hand over his face. “Why did you do that?” “You deserved it,” I said. “Let me tell you one thing, Knute Colvin, I don’t care what you do or when you do it, okay? I’m just trying to get through high school so I can get the hell out of this stupid town. That’s it. No more and certainly no less.” He nodded. “Alright then.” I started off then stopped and turned back to him, pointing my finger in his face. “And Melissa Watson isn’t enough to make me jealous, okay? I could care less about her and her fat ass!” He tried to hide his smile. I ignored him and said, “So, just think about that when you’re all loving up on her, alright? I don’t care about her or about you! In fact, I think you two deserve each other!” He couldn’t take it anymore. He burst out laughing. I glared at him and crossed my arms, becoming infuriated. Sure, what I’d said 16
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hadn’t made much sense and made me sound like a bitter, jealous young woman, but it was the only way I could express myself. I was still young and that meant I was still immature. So what? Besides, that’s the way I felt about it. I waited to speak again until he’d stopped laughing and I’d calmed down a little. I took a breath and said, “So, take Melissa and shove her up your ass! ’Cause let me tell you one thing, she will never leave you alone, Knute. She’s got her hooks into you and she won’t let go.” “Really?” he asked. “She won’t let go?” “No,” I said. “She thinks you’re rich and if you haven’t noticed all anyone in this town cares about is how much money everyone else has.” “Why’s that?” “Because they don’t have any,” I said. “Now, excuse me. I have to get home.” He took my hand. “Let me drive you home, Clementine.” “No,” I said. “I can’t.” “Why not?” “Because my mother told me not to,” I said. He nodded as if he understood everything now. “I’m sorry,” I said. “It wasn’t me, it was my mother. She told me to stay away from you.” “Oh,” he muttered and looked away. “I don’t know why,” I continued. “She just said—” “I know why,” he said. “You don’t have to explain.” “You know why?” “Yeah,” he said. “She’s worried, isn’t she? She’s worried about you making a mistake and messing up your future.” Wow. He knew everything. He’d said it all in one sentence and, most importantly, he understood why. And that meant he wasn’t 17
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upset with me. It was beyond his control because I was under my mother’s. But that’s just the way it was. There wasn’t anything I could really do about it, which meant there wasn’t anything he could do, either. “Come on,” he said. “At least let me drive you home.” “I can’t,” I said. “I told you. My mom said I can’t talk to you.” “But she didn’t say anything about riding with me, did she?” Actually, no, she hadn’t. She hadn’t said one word about that. At least not in those words. “Come on, Clementine,” he said. “Come on and let me save you some trouble.” I laughed out loud. “You’re the one who’s caused all this trouble!” He laughed with me. “I know, but let me save you a little more. Okay?” I looked at his car. I’d been dreaming about getting back into that car with him since the day I’d gotten out of it, which had been almost a year ago. Almost a whole year had passed and during that time, I hadn’t fallen out of love with him at all. Not having him had made me want him more; it had made the need in me increase and it had driven me crazy. Of course, when we can’t get what we want, we want nothing else but that one thing. And now that one thing—him—was standing in front of me with his hand outstretched. His head jerked towards the car and a big smile came over his lips and spread until his eyes were twinkling with delight. “On one condition,” I said. “What’s that?” “That you break up with Melissa and promise to never think of her again.” “Done,” he said and laughed. “What is it?” 18
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“You… You’re… Uh…” “What?” “You can be such a little witch,” he said and kissed my temple quickly. “I think I’ll start calling you Witch Little.” And he had.
Lemonade He drove me home. When we pulled up to our small house, I wondered if he looked down on it, if he looked down on me. While we weren’t poor in the traditional sense, we just didn’t have much money. Even so, I guess I didn’t want him to know that. I didn’t want him to see the peeling paint on the siding or that we needed gravel for the driveway. I didn’t want him to see the shabby furniture inside or the old appliances. I hated being poor and I hated that he might look at me differently if he knew it. “You have a creek beside your house,” he said. “I didn’t notice that before.” I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn’t realized that if someone loves you, they love you no matter what your house looks like or what kind of refrigerator you have. They love you, only you, and not the things you’re ashamed of. “Yeah,” I said. “Wow,” he said and got out of the car. “Let’s go look at it.” I got out of his car and followed him to the little creek which ran behind the house. We stood at the water’s edge and he looked up and down and then left and right. “What is it?” I asked.
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“I think our house is just over that hill,” he said. “We have a creek beside our house, too, so this must be the same creek.” “I don’t think so,” I said. “You house isn’t anywhere near here.” “Not by road,” he said. “But as the crow flies, maybe. You wanna see?” I looked up at the tall hill, a mini-mountain really, and shook my head. “That would take forever.” “Come on,” he said. “If I’m right, I’ll make you some lemonade.” “Lemonade?” I said and laughed. “No one makes lemonade anymore.” “Where do you get it then?” “From some powered stuff,” I said. He laughed. “Come on, Witch Little. Come on and let’s see where this creek goes.” I looked back towards the house. My mom wasn’t supposed to be home for at least another three or four hours. But I knew that the hill might take at least an hour to climb, if not longer. Staring at it, it looked easy but I knew from past experience that looks were deceiving. In fact, I’d tried it before with some of the kids from church. We’d only gone about halfway up before our mothers had came out yelling for us to come down, hollering something about “timber rattlers.” Since I wasn’t a huge fan of snakes, I’d run back down the hill, screaming all the way. That had been years ago, when I was about ten. It seemed like an eternity. We didn’t go to church anymore, either, and I wondered what happened to those kids who used to come by almost every Sunday afternoon to play with me. I’d see them around, but it wasn’t like it was before. Growing up does that, I guess. “Come on,” he urged. “I’ll make sure you’re back soon.” “Okay,” I said.
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He grinned and we took off our shoes and then carried them across the creek, then put them back on and started up the hill. He hiked in front of me for a while, then stopped and held out his hand. Without thinking, I took it and he squeezed it gently as we continued to hike. Soon, it was hot and I was sweating. So was he. We stopped and sat down on a fallen tree. “I told you,” I said and fanned myself. He nodded and looked out at the view of trees and fern and general vegetation. It was so beautiful there, it was breathtaking. Then he scooted closer to me. I let him and didn’t move, though my heart began to race inside my chest. It beat so fast and so loud in my ears I was sure he could hear it. Without a word, he turned to me, slipping his hands into my hair, and pulled my face towards him. And then he kissed me. He kissed me softly, gently, as a first boyfriend should kiss his first real girlfriend. His lips barely grazed mine, then became firm as he pressed them on top of mine. It was the first kiss I’d ever had and as soon as I opened my mouth, his tongue, upon invitation, went inside. As soon as I felt his tongue on mine, I froze. It was so different than what I’d expected. I almost pushed him back, but he pressed in closer to me and kept my face still with his hands. And he kept kissing me until I gave in and began to kiss him back. After the initial shock of “I’m actually doing this!”, I relaxed and realized that this was the most intense feeling I’d ever had and that he was giving it to me. And it was such a good feeling. It left me wanting more. As soon as he pulled back, I pressed forward, towards him, not wanting it to stop. He came back at me and kissed me again. I felt his lips and the sun streaming through the trees. I felt the wind creeping along, ruffling our hair as we came together. His hands went down and rested on my shoulders. I wanted them to travel 21
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further but he didn’t move. He kept them there and after a few more intense kissing moments, he pulled away and kissed the tip of my nose. “I’ve wanted to do that since the first day I saw you,” he said. I nodded and pushed my lips towards his again but he stopped me, shaking his head. I asked, “What is it?” “Let’s save it for next time.” I didn’t want to save it. I wanted it now. I liked getting kissed by him. And I liked the idea of other things that might be in store for me as well. Sure, I wasn’t ready to surrender my virginity by any stretch of the imagination, but a little more of what he’d been giving me couldn’t hurt, couldn’t it? Right then, I wanted him to kiss me. But he was getting up quickly and turning away from me, as if he’d embarrassed himself somehow. I started to say something but he started walking. “Come on, we have to go,” he called over his shoulder. I groaned and got up and followed him. About thirty minutes later, we were on the top of the hill. As soon as we came to the top, we looked out and then he pointed. “There it is!” he said, almost laughing. “I told you our house was near here.” I stared at it. It looked so close that I could touch it. But then again, that was because it looked smaller from the hill. I knew it was at least a half-mile away. “Come on,” he said. I groaned and followed him. A little while later, we were at the back of his monstrous stone house. It looked very gothic and very daunting. It even had a few gargoyles looking over the house from atop the roof. Supposedly, the person who had built it back in the fifties was an oil magnate, a man by the name of Earl Farmer, from Texas who had relatives around here. He loved the mountains and 22
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the river, so this became his “summer” home and had taken almost two years to build. After it had been completed, he only visited occasionally until he died. And, of course, no one bought it because it was so big. The county purchased it and was going to turn it into a museum, but the funding fell through. And it remained empty until Knute and his mother moved in. “Mom!” Knute yelled, then turned to me. “Come on, let’s find her.” I nodded and followed him to a back door which opened into an enormous kitchen. My mouth dropped at its size and at its beauty. It had to be as big as our whole house. It was all white, too—white cabinets, white marble countertops, white marble floor. I stared at the pretty white curtain blowing in the breeze from the open window above the deep farmer’s sink. “Wow,” I said. “What is it?” “I dunno,” I said and looked around, noticing how nice and new everything looked. “I just thought this house would look old inside. I mean, it’s a really old house. No one lived here for years before you moved in. I guess what I mean is that I just thought it would look old and worn down.” “It did when we bought it,” he said. “We renovated it.” I nodded and stared at him, considering. I hadn’t remembered anyone doing work up here and, living in a small town, something like a renovation on the old Farmer place would have been hot gossip. But what did I know? I was just a kid. “Let me get my mom,” he said and left the kitchen yelling, “Mom!” I sat down at the big farmer’s table and felt odd, like I shouldn’t be there. I knew my mom would kill me if she found out I’d gone to Knute’s house. Not only that, the size of the place intimidated 23
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me a little. I shook it off. What the hell was wrong with me? I was going to have to get over this inferiority complex I had. It was a nice house. So what? My house wasn’t so bad. It was just smaller. A lot smaller. And crappier. All of a sudden, I heard someone behind me. I turned to see a petite woman staring at me. She was wearing a big floppy straw hat that partially hid her face. She had a big basket of flowers she’d obviously just picked from the outside garden. She smiled and took off her hat to reveal a face that was as beautiful as Knute’s was handsome. Her hair was paler, though, and she had it pulled back in a neat ponytail. I suddenly became aware of my dirty sneakers and well-worn work uniform. Why hadn’t I changed? Well, Knute hadn’t given me much time. Again, with the inferiority complex! I had to get over this. “You must be Clementine,” she said and sat down her basket. She walked towards me, hand extended. “I’m Delia, Knute’s mother.” She didn’t look like a mother. She looked like a model, though she wasn’t much taller than I was and I was just under five-footfour or so. My father liked to joke and call me “Shorty,” which drove me crazy. I wondered if anyone ever called her Shorty. I doubted it. She was petite and slender and her clothes were immaculate though she’d just been in the garden. What struck me was how young she looked. She didn’t look old enough to be the mother of grown teenage boy. “Hi,” I said and shook her hand feebly, feeling more and more intimidated. She smiled at me and said, “Lemonade?” before going to the refrigerator and pulling out a pitcher of fresh lemonade. I nodded and cleared my throat. “Yes, please.” 24
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She smiled warmly at me, pausing to stare at my face, and said, “I can see why.” “Excuse me?” “Knute’s been talking about you forever,” she said. “And I can see why. You’re a beautiful girl, Clementine.” I blushed three shades of red. I’d never had anyone tell me I was beautiful before, especially not by an intimidatingly beautiful woman such as herself. She poured two glasses and brought me one before sitting down at the table with me. “So, what brings you by?” “Uh, I just…” I stopped, not knowing what to say. She nodded. “Knute talked you into it, didn’t he?” I nodded. “He can be very persuasive,” she said. “Don’t let him be.” “Oh,” I said and sipped my lemonade, which was absolutely delicious. I almost gasped in delight at the taste of it. No wonder I hadn’t liked lemonade before as I’d never had real lemonade. No more powered junk for me! I took another sip and another and before I knew it, my glass was empty. Delia chuckled softly and refilled my glass. “It is good, isn’t it?” she asked nicely. I nodded and felt somewhat embarrassed. Knute came back into the kitchen just then. “Oh, there you are, Mom. Have you met Clementine?” “Of course, dear,” she said. “Get yourself a glass of lemonade.” He nodded and poured himself some, then sat down beside me. And we sat in silence, sipping our lemonade. I had a feeling they were both studying me, though I didn’t understand why they would be interested in someone like me. “And how long is it before you graduate high school?” Delia asked. 25
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“Another two years,” I said. “This year, I’ll be a junior and next a senior. But I guess that makes sense.” Knute chuckled and said, “I am so glad I am done with school.” “For now,” Delia said and eyed him before turning back to me. “So, two more years?” I nodded. “Yeah, two more long and dreary years.” “Shame really,” she said. “I don’t understand why it takes so long to learn something you’re only going to forget once you graduate.” I nodded in agreement. I’d always wondered that myself. “I’m done now,” Knute said out of nowhere. She studied him with a soft look before turning back to me. “Have you ever considered graduating early, Clementine?” I shook my head. “You should consider it,” she said. “I did. I gradated two years before I was supposed to. I hated school, though. I wasn’t learning anything anyway. And, besides, I had other things to learn.” “I’ll think about it,” I said. “I can help you,” she said. “If you’re interested I can show you how to do it.” Actually, I’d never considered it before. But now that she’d mentioned it, it sounded like a good idea. “Maybe she wants to go through her last year of high school, Mom,” Knute said. “Most people want that.” She glanced sideways at him, before turning back to me. “It’s up to her, of course. It was only a suggestion.” Her voice was so soft, so nonjudgmental. And I wanted her to like me. Besides, I didn’t like school anyway, never had. So I said, “No, I’m interested.” She smiled at me. “Well, then, why don’t you come to lunch on Sunday with your mother? We can discuss it then.” 26
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I nodded. “That sounds great. Oh, by the way, you have a lovely home.” She smiled softly at me and stood. “I would ask you if you’d like to tour this old house but right now I have to go lie down. I have an intense migraine. Next time, Knute can show you around, Clementine.” For someone with an intense migraine, she was the calmest person I’d ever met. I felt concern for her almost immediately. Would she be okay? She had that kind of effect on me. She was so soft and nice you just wanted to make sure she’d always be okay. “Don’t worry,” she said and touched my hand. “The migraine will be gone soon. It’s just an old enemy of mine anyway. As soon as I figure out whom, they’ll regret it.” “What?” I asked, not understanding what, exactly, she’d just told me. She laughed softly and shook her head. “Excuse me, dear. Remember, lunch on Sunday and don’t forget to bring your mother.” “Okay,” I said and wondered about what she had meant by “an old enemy of mine.” The thought made me shiver. It was just an odd thing to say. But then again, she wasn’t like anyone in this town. I watched her walk softly out of the room and disappear. “Well, I guess I’d better get you back,” Knute said. I smiled and finished off my lemonade. “That was really good.” He nodded. “I told her to make it for you.” “What?” I asked. “She didn’t know I was coming over.” “Oh,” he said quickly. “I mean, I told her I was going to try and talk to you today and… And, well, you know what happened.” “Yeah,” I said. “God, I dread that walk.” “It’ll be fun and over before you know it,” he said and leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. 27
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As we started out the door, I asked, “What did your mom mean by an ‘old enemy’?” “Uh, that’s what she calls her migraines,” he said. “It was just a joke. You have to be around my mom for a while before you get her jokes.” “Oh, no,” I said quickly. “I got it.” “I know you did,” he said and took my hand as we headed across the yard and back into the woods. We didn’t say anything for a while, then I asked, “Where’s your dad, Knute?” “Huh? My dad? Why?” “Just wondering,” I said. “Where’s your dad?” he asked. I swallowed hard and said, “He…uh…he…” “You don’t have to tell me,” he said. “I know I don’t,” I said. “My mom says that he’s shacked up with some old whore. Her words, not mine.” He laughed hard, almost doubling over. “Sorry, but your mom sounds like a real character.” “You won’t be laughing if you make her angry,” I said. “She’ll snap you in two like a twig.” “Maybe not,” he said. “So, your dad is ‘away,’ as they say.” “I wouldn’t say that,” I said. “I say he’s shacked up with some old whore.” He laughed again. “Alright.” I turned to him. “What about your dad?” “He’s probably doing the same thing,” he said and smiled. “That doesn’t bother you?” “No,” he said. “Does it bother you?” “Yeah, it does,” I said. “But I know I can’t do anything about it, so I don’t try.” 28
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“When the time’s right, you’ll see your dad again,” he said. “Oh, I see him all the time,” I said. “I see at the drive-in and at the grocery store. Sometimes he visits and we get along well until he and my mom get into an argument and start screaming at each other. Then he goes away and I might see him again at the bank or wherever.” “I’m sorry.” “Don’t be,” I said. “Tell me about your dad.” “He’s still in Louisiana,” he said. “Deep, deep south, you know? This is more mountain terrain up here but down there, it’s just pure swamp. He’s Cajun, you know?” “Really?” I said. “What does that mean?” He laughed. “It means he can catch an alligator and make good gumbo.” “He sounds tough,” I said. “Your mom doesn’t seem like the kind of woman who would… I mean, she’s so… I don’t know…delicate.” “She’s tough as nails, don’t let her fool you,” he said and stopped so I could step over the log we’d kissed on. As soon as I was over, he followed and took my hand again. “So, what else about your dad?” I asked. He shrugged. “He’s just my dad.” I stopped and stared at him. “Why did you move here?” He stared back. “I don’t know. Mom just wanted to for some reason. I have to do what she says.” “Not anymore,” I said. “You’re over eighteen now.” “You’re right,” he said and bent down and put his arms around me. I pushed my face towards his until he kissed me again. As soon as his lips were on mine, I felt whole again. I felt alive. I never
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wanted the kissing to stop. As soon as I began to want more than the kissing, he pulled back. “Come on, Witch Little,” he said. “We’d better get you home before your mom gets there.” Unfortunately, my mother was waiting on us when we got back. She was leaning against Knute’s car as we came into the yard. As soon as she saw us, she began to shake her head in a rage. “You’d better go,” I told him. “Yeah, you better,” she snapped. Knute exited with haste and Mom came at me, grabbed my arm and pulled me into the house. I was surprised she hadn’t pulled me in by the hair of the head. When we got in, she pushed me away and crossed her arms, glaring at me. I yelled, “What?!” “You little sneak,” she hissed. “What have you been doing?” “Nothing,” I said. “We just went for a walk.” “Don’t lie to me right now!” “I’m not lying!” “How could you?” she asked and shook her head. “I asked you not to. And you quit your job? What are you thinking?” I felt ashamed of myself. She looked so tired and here I was messing around not doing anything while she worked so hard. But I hadn’t done anything wrong, not really. Besides, maybe, quitting my job. “Why are you doing this?” she said. “Why can’t you just listen to me for once?” “I always listen to you!”
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“No, you don’t,” she said. “That’s it. You won’t see that boy again!” “But—” “But nothing! God! Don’t you know what you’re doing? What you’re opening yourself up for? Don’t you know what they are?” “They’re—” “They’re nothing!” she snapped. “Trash! That’s what they are!” “We’re trash,” I mumbled. She looked like she wanted to slap me. “Don’t you ever call me trash! How could you say that to me? I do the best I can! I don’t steal and I don’t cheat anyone! I work like a dog everyday to put food on the table.” I looked away. She was right but that didn’t mean others didn’t view us as trash. I felt so confined, so restricted by other people’s opinions of us that I sometimes just wanted to scream. It was so frustrating. But that’s what living in a small town in the South was like. Everyone was either rich or they were poor. We were poor and that was just the way it was. “We are not trash,” she said. “Where do you even get this idea? Just because we’re not rich doesn’t mean we’re trash. Stop feeling so inferior to everyone else, Clementine. They don’t have anything on you. Believe me, they have nothing on you.” She said it like I was something special, which I knew I wasn’t. I didn’t look at her. “Huh?” she said. “Where do you get this idea that we’re trash? I don’t even like using that word.” I swallowed hard and said, “I guess it was this kid in school. He said I was trash once ’cause we lived on the creek.” “There’s a lot worse places to live than on the creek, Clemmy,” she said.
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She was right. But I’d never gotten over that, never gotten over the fact that we didn’t have any money or a nice car. I guess I didn’t have any real problems to occupy my mind with other than thinking about what other people thought of me. “You don’t realize but people who say stuff like that to you are jealous,” she said. “Or they want something from you they know they’ll never get.” She was right. The boy had a crush on me and when I hadn’t reciprocated, he’d called me trash and I, of course, somehow got it into my head that just because he had said it, he was right. Again, with the inferiority complex. No wonder I had it. Why couldn’t people just leave you alone and let you live your life? Why did they have to be so mean? Mom continued, “You think they say this stuff to the people who are actually trashy? They would be afraid to. I thought I raised you better than that.” Yeah, whatever. I was over it. Besides, I wanted to talk about something other than the idiots that lived in Webster. So, I turned to her and said, “It’s just that he’s… Mommy, Knute really likes me and he doesn’t care about where I come from or whatever. He likes me and I just want to be able to like him back.” “You’re going to college,” she said. “You are not getting involved so young!” “Like you did with Daddy?” “That’s right,” she hissed. “You’re damned right!” I rolled my eyes. “I guess he’s kissed you, too, that little bastard?” she said, shaking her head. “Once that happens, that’s it. Next thing I now, you’ll be pregnant.” “Mom!” I screeched.
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“Oh, come on,” she said. “I’m not a fool and I can see how you and he looked at each other. Clemmy, don’t do this to yourself. Don’t fall into that bullshit. Get the hell out of this miserable place. If you start thinking about him, that’s all you’ll ever think about until it’s too late to have an option. Think about yourself first, that’s all I ask.” “So I guess you won’t go to lunch at their house on Sunday?” “Where the hell did that come from?” she asked, exasperated. “His mother wants to meet you,” I said. “His mother?” she said. “Have you met his mother?” I nodded. “Today.” “Good God!” she exclaimed and threw her hands up. “Anything else?” I stared at her, then pleaded, “Mommy, please just do this for me. I won’t ask for anything else. I just want this.” “You’re lying,” she said. “You will ask for something else as soon as you get what you want.” “What’s wrong with that?” “Nothing,” she said. “But you might not get it.”
Sunday Lunch How I got my mother to agree to go to Sunday lunch with Knute and his mother, I’ll never know. Maybe she thought that if she stopped protesting so much, the fascination I had with Knute would dwindle. She was wrong, of course, and my infatuation with him only grew. We were greeted at the front door by Delia, who gave us a big smile and me a quick hug.
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“It’s so good to see you again, Clementine,” she said then looked at my mother. “How are you, Glenda?” Mom stared at her with a peculiar look and said, “I’m alright.” “Good,” she said as if that delighted her. “Come in, come in! The food’s almost ready. You might not know this, Clementine, but Knute cooked everything.” “Really?” I asked surprised but wary. I never knew any man who cooked besides my boss at the drive-in and he only flipped burgers and dunked fries into vats of oil. “He’s a wonderful cook,” she said. “Wow,” I said. “I didn’t know that.” “Why don’t you go help him in the kitchen and I’ll get your mother a nice sherry?” “Sherry?” Mom said, shaking her head. “I don’t drink sherry.” “Oh?” Delia said. “What would you like?” “I don’t know,” she said. “I haven’t had alcohol in so long I can’t remember. Not that I’m a teetotaler, either. It’s just that this is a dry county and God knows I don’t want to drive an hour for a bottle of wine or whatever.” “I know!” Delia said. “Who wants to do that? But, I do have some muscadine wine. How about that?” “Why, I’d love that,” Mom said. “I haven’t had any muscadine wine in years.” “Clementine,” Delia said to me. “Go fetch us a bottle in the kitchen. It’s the refrigerator.” “Okay,” I said and went into the kitchen where, to my total shock and surprise, Knute was cooking, outfitted in an apron. “Don’t laugh,” he said. I laughed anyway. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. I had a sudden urge to kiss him. I controlled myself and said, “I think you
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look cute. You don’t know what I had to do to get my mother here today.” “I can only imagine.” I walked up to him, suddenly feeling timid. God, he was so good looking. “Oh, come here,” he said and grabbed me. “Don’t,” I said and pushed him away. “They might come in.” “Not if Mom’s got her cornered,” he said. “She’ll talk her ear off.” “Oh, well, then,” I said and allowed him to give me a little kiss which made me weak in the knees. I pulled away and said, “Let me get them this wine.” “Okay,” he said and smiled at me. “It’s good to see you, by the way.” “You too,” I said and got the wine and went into the living room. “Oh, there you are,” Delia said and took the wine out of my hand. She laughed. “Dear, I meant for you to bring us a couple of glasses, not the whole bottle.” “Sorry,” I said. “It’s fine, Clementine,” she said. “Go sit down with your mother.” I nodded as she left the room and went over to the couch and sat down beside Mom. “Well, Mom, is it as bad as you thought?” “Why is she being so nice?” “Why are you so suspicious?” “People aren’t this nice unless they want something,” she said and pulled out her cigarettes. “Think I could smoke in here?” “Of course you can,” Delia said and breezed back into the room. “In fact, I’ll join you.”
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Mom smiled for the first time since we’d gotten there and took the glass of wine and lit her cigarette. As she sipped her wine and smoked, she said, “Nice place you have here.” “It is,” Delia said. “I didn’t furnish it or anything. It was like this when we moved in. Well, I mean to say, everything was dusty and covered with sheets. We had to clean a little.” “I thought Knute said you renovated it,” I said. She stared at me for a quick second, then hurriedly said, “A few things—a new refrigerator, counters in the kitchen. Nothing major, Clementine.” “Oh,” I said and smiled at her then looked up to see Knute in the doorway. He smiled at me before saying, “Ladies, lunch is served.” I almost cracked up. Mom just looked at him and put her cigarette out. Then we followed him into the massive dining room and, after we were seated, Knute served us big bowls of what I thought was soup. “What’s this?” I asked and took a bite. “Gumbo,” he said and winked. “Oh,” I said and nodded, then turned to Mom. “His dad’s Cajun.” “Oh,” she replied and nodded. “Hence, the gumbo.” “Yes, his father can really cook a mean gumbo,” Delia said. “But—” “Mom,” Knute warned. “Sorry,” she said. “I won’t be improper today.” “Oh,” Mom said and stared at her. “You had one of them too, didn’t you?” “How could you tell?” Delia replied. “Oh, he was handsome enough and could charm the pants off a snake.” “But, let me guess,” Mom said. “He didn’t like work.” 36
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“He worked, some,” Delia said. “Just not enough to support his family.” “Mom,” Knute groaned. “Lucky for us his family was rich,” Delia said and smiled at me. “How’s the gumbo, Clementine?” “Oh, it’s really good,” I said, then smiled at Knute. “Really good.” Mom stared at us, then said, “It’s not that good.” Knute blushed as did I. Delia laughed under her breath and said, “Anyway, Glenda, I was telling Clementine about this program where you can graduate a year early from high school. It’s a simple correspondence class that she can do while attending her junior year.” “Is that so?” Mom said and turned to me. “You want to graduate high school early?” “Well,” I said, trying to think of a good way to put it. “It’s just that I think it’s a waste of time.” “What about senior prom and all that?” she asked. “What about your senior pictures and graduation?” “I can still do all that,” I told her. “It’s just I’d do it a year earlier.” “Huh,” Mom said and stared down into her bowl of gumbo, which she pushed away. “Sorry, I can’t eat that. I don’t like mudbugs.” “Can I get you something else?” Knute asked her. “I think you’ve done quite enough, young man,” she told him. “It was just a suggestion,” Delia said. “She doesn’t have to do it if you don’t approve.” Mom turned to me. “Is this what you want?” “I don’t know,” I said. “It’s just I don’t need that many credits for my final year and it’s only like three classes. I talked to my 37
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guidance counselor and she told me I could take the courses through the college in Knoxville and all I have to do is send in my lessons over the internet and take my tests with her.” “Well, you just got it all planned out, don’t you?” “No!” I exclaimed and turned to Knute for help, then turned back to her. “I don’t have to do it or anything. I just thought if I got out of school earlier, I could get a job and—” “You’re going to college! I won’t have you…” She turned her gaze on Knute and glared at him as if he’d ruined everything in her life. He ducked his head and looked embarrassed. “Just forget it, Mom,” I said and went back to my gumbo. “It’s not a big deal. You make a big deal out of everything.” “Your mother is just feeling like she’s losing control right now, Clementine,” Delia said. “Thank you, but I can speak for myself,” Mom snapped and lit a cigarette. “So, what’s in it for you?” “Excuse me?” Delia asked. “You’re a bunch of deadbeats, right?” she said and puffed. “That means you people come around and cause nothing but trouble and then leave as soon as you get everyone good and stirred up.” Delia cracked up. She put her hand over her mouth, then shook her head. “I’m sorry, but deadbeats? Please. I don’t know where you’re getting that. I don’t make a nuisance of myself or swindle people.” “Then what do you do?” Mom asked. “Cause trouble?” “I’ve been known to cause some trouble,” she replied. “Look, I don’t have put up with this. I just invited you to lunch, that’s all. You might enjoy it if you could just open up your mind a bit. However, this doesn’t seem to be the case at all.”
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I stared at her, aghast, not at what she’d said but at how I knew my mother would react. Whenever she was backed into a corner, she came out fighting. “Now you wait a damn minute,” Mom said and stood. “I won’t be talked down to, not when your son is sniffing around my daughter like she’s dinner.” I cringed and wished Knute hadn’t heard that. She went on, “And I won’t be told what my daughter can and can’t do. I don’t know who the hell you think you are or what horse you rode in on, but I can tell you to mount back up and hit the road, lady. We don’t need ya.” Delia nodded. “Okay. I apologize for my harsh words.” “Keep it to yourself,” Mom said and started to the door. She changed her mind and came back and leaned against the table. “And another thing, I know a deadbeat when I see one. People don’t just show up and buy the biggest house in a thirty mile radius without having an agenda of some kind. I don’t know what you’re after with us, but you won’t get it.” Delia really took offense to this and jumped out of her seat and hissed, “How dare you say that to me? I am not a deadbeat!” “Sure,” mom said. “You know what you are?” Delia said, getting more and more agitated. “You’re a person who takes their misery out on the world and everyone around them. It would kill you to have your daughter date someone as good as my son, that’s all. You don’t want her to be happy.” That was the final straw. My mother picked up the spoon she’d been using and hurled it at Delia. Before I could blink, Delia shouted, “Halt!” and the spoon froze mid-air before it fell to the middle of the table with a loud clatter.
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My mouth dropped to the floor. I almost fell out of my chair. My mother must have felt the same way because her knees buckled a little. She grabbed the table for leverage, then shook her head, as if it were swimming. Delia seemed embarrassed. She started to say something, then stopped and turned to Knute whose mouth was also on the floor. “I’m sorry,” Delia said. “That don’t begin to cover it,” Mom said and grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the house and into the car.
After we got home, we had the biggest fight we would ever have. “You are not to go around those people again!” she yelled. I crossed my arms and said, “Why not?” “You know damn well why not,” she said. “Did you not see what I saw today?” Of course I had and it was freaky. I’d never seen anything like that except in a movie. What did it mean? How did she do that? “Those people are not right!” she said, getting almost hysterical. “What are you talking about?” I asked. “It was just… It was just…” “Witchcraft,” she said. “That’s what it is.” “How do you know this?” I said. “It could have been a fluke or something.” “You must think I’m really dumb, don’t you, Clementine?” “No, I don’t,” I said. “I just don’t understand how you would know that.” “What the hell do you think happened to your grandmother?” “What happened to her?” I asked. “You never talk about her.” “You don’t want to know,” she said and lit a cigarette. 40
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“Yes, I do!” I screeched. “Well, I won’t talk about it,” she said. “Mom,” I hissed, wanting more information. I always knew something had happened a long time ago with my grandmother. Whenever I’d bring her up, Mom would always change the subject. She didn’t have many pictures of her either, and those she did have she kept in a locked fire-proof safe. I steeled myself for a big fight and said, “It’s time you told me about my grandmother, Mother.” “You really want to know? What good would that do? I’m trying to protect you, okay?” “Protect me from what?!” I yelled. “From yourself,” she said, her eyes flashing. Her words made me jerk back. From myself? What did that mean? “Clementine,” she said. “You do not want to know these things. You want stay in school, get an education and get a good job to take care of yourself. I have worked all these years for that, not for some witch to come by and screw it all up.” Oh, God. Oh, God, oh, God, oh God! My head spun. There was more to me than she’d ever let on. I knew it, but knowing it didn’t make it any easier to take. She turned to me, brandishing her cigarette. “Why do you think we moved to this shitty little town in the first place? Why do you think we live in this old house? Why do you think I stand on my feet twelve hours a day in a factory twenty miles from here? Why do you think?” “I don’t know!” I yelled. “I thought we always lived here!” “No,” she said. “We didn’t. I mean, you have, yes, but not me or your grandfather. And, of course, your grandmother never lived here because she was dead. And this is where I met your daddy and you know the rest.” 41
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“No, I don’t.” “It’s not that important.” “Why?” She swallowed hard. “It doesn’t matter now.” “Yes, it does. It matters! Tell me!” She stared me dead in the eye and said, “It’s called dark magic, Clemmy, that’s what it’s called. Your grandmother always… She wasn’t a bad witch, she was just a witch. She was ignorant and unschooled as they say. And she got…” I nodded for her to go on. “No, that’s a lie,” she said, her eyes tearing. “She was good, you know? She was a good witch. She was the best. She was a mid-wife and this was how she hid what she was. She would help women have their babies in their homes. She also gave them homemade remedies from roots and ginseng and things like that, you know to get them better and all that. She helped cure a lot of people. And she never took any money. But there was a doctor whose business started suffering because all the women were coming to her instead of going to him.” “And?” “And I don’t even know why she did it,” she said and wiped at the tears. “Your grandpa was rich, okay? We were very, very wealthy. I guess she just had to follow her calling, that’s all, and her calling was being a witch.” Uh, wow. I shook myself as I finally understood why I always felt so different. I was different. I sat down beside Mom and took her hand gently and squeezed it. “Tell me more, Mom. I want to know everything.” “And she disappeared one day,” she said and choked on her tears. “That’s all I know. One day, my mommy didn’t come home
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from one of those houses. My daddy moved us right after that. We had to leave everything. We ended up here.” “Why here?” She stared at me. “Because it’s in the mountains, that’s what daddy always said. I didn’t understand then, but I know now.” “What does that mean?” “It means we were hiding.” “From what?” “People don’t understand it, Clementine,” she said. “They don’t get it. You can’t flaunt it, you know? And maybe someone thought my mother did and that’s why we had to leave. Everyone thought we were witches, too.” I stared at her. Was this really happening? “Everything was gone after that,” she said. “All the money. The house is still there, of course, I made sure of that. But we couldn’t live in it. But my life was over. I was only twelve or so when this happened. It wasn’t that long ago.” “But why didn’t your father go to the police?” I asked and stood up and walked over to where I could face her. She shook her head at my naiveté. “Oh, Clementine, these small towns… Well, Savannah isn’t that small, but it’s small enough. Besides, that was a long time ago.” “But she could still be alive,” I said. “She’s not, honey,” she said. “How do you know?” “Because she visits me,” she said. I moved back, almost crashing into the wall. “What do you mean?” “I mean she visits me from time to time,” she said. “Sometimes when I’m working in the garden and sometimes when I’m driving to work.” 43
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“Doesn’t it scare you?” “She was my mother. Why would it scare me?” she asked. “She’s seen you, too. I know she has.” “Mommy, this is crazy! You’re talking like a crazy person!” She shook her head and looked at the burning cigarette in her hand. “No, honey, I’m just talking about stuff that makes people think you’re crazy because they can’t see it. I’d never say this to anyone but you.” “But if she was a witch, that means you’re one too.” “No, it doesn’t,” she said. “I wasn’t born with the gift. And I thought you weren’t either.” “You think I’m a witch?” “No, I didn’t mean that,” she sad. “But you said—” “Listen, just stop it, okay?” she said. “Just stop it!” “Do you think I’m gifted?” “It’s nothing to be proud of,” she said and put the cigarette out. “People have their pills now and they don’t need what my mother could give them anymore. You don’t need to get this started. If you get it started, it doesn’t ever get finished.” “Mommy,” I said and sat down beside her. “Please don’t do this. Maybe your mother fell and hit her head or something. Maybe it wasn’t because she was a witch.” “It was,” she said. “And you don’t need to try and pretend otherwise.” I sighed. Just then, a knock came on the door. We looked at each other because it was a rarity for anyone to knock on our door. “Who the hell is that?” she said and stood, going to the door, then yelled, “Who is it?” “It’s Delia,” she said. “May I come in?” “Hell no!” 44
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“Please, Glenda, let me come in,” she begged. “We have to talk.” “I am not talking to you!” she yelled. “Now get away from my door.” “Glenda, we both know I can come through this door if I want to,” she said. “So either let me in or else.” “Did you know her or something?” I asked. “No,” Mom said. “I knew of her and her family, of course, but my mother kept that part of herself separate from us. My father knew, but only to the extent my mother wanted him to know.” I stared at her. “Well, should we get the door or not?” “What did I do to deserve this?” Mom said and opened the door. “Well, I guess this is it, isn’t it? I should have known you people would track her down sooner or later.” “Glenda,” Delia said. “You know I have to do this. I’ve waited in this Podunk town for over a year. Now let me in.” Mom glared at her, then turned to me and glared some more. “I guess you’re here to teach her, then?” “Teach me what?” I asked. Mom stared at me. “To be a witch and don’t get excited, honey. It takes a lot of study, right, Delia? That’s why she wants you to graduate a year early so you can concentrate on learning the craft.” “Is this true?” I asked, amazed and bewildered at the same time. “More or less,” Delia said. “May I come in or not?” “You’re here,” she said and walked to the couch. Delia nodded and came in, carrying an old brown book, which she carefully placed in her lap as she sat down. She smiled at me and said, “Hello, Clementine.” “Hi,” I said feebly.
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“Well,” she said, turning to my mother. “I’m just going to get to the point. You know why I’m here and that’s why you’ve tried to keep Clementine away from Knute.” Mom scoffed. “Listen, Glenda,” she said. “Why don’t we just work together and get this done? I don’t want to be here anymore than you want me to be here. But it’s my duty and I have to do my duty.” “Why are you here?” I asked. She smiled at me but didn’t answer. “Glenda, you don’t know me personally, I understand that. But if you sit down and let me explain, I think we can come to an understanding and, possibly, an agreement.” Mom shook her head and said, “Just spill it.” Delia nodded and said, “You don’t realize that I have a big debt to pay. You see, if it wasn’t for your mother, I wouldn’t be here.” Mom’s eyes narrowed. “That’s right,” Delia said. “Your mother saved my life. I was a very small, ill child. Your mother healed me when no doctor could. I was taken to clinics and hospitals and had to go through so many tests and put through so much pain. But she healed me and then I was fine. I was finally healthy. And she never took a dime from my parents, either. She wasn’t in it for the money. She was just doing her calling. And I am here to repay her for what she did for me.” Mom looked away from her and tears began to stream down her cheeks. “Not only that,” Delia said. “But she taught me things. She recognized my gift and she helped me with it.” “Oh, please,” Mom said. “I don’t want to hear this.” “Glenda,” Delia said. “Your mother came to me about three years ago and she asked me to find Clementine and teach her
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everything I know. You see, I’ve been in contact with your mother since I was a child. And I know what happened to her.” “Teach me what?” I asked. “Shh,” Mom said to me and turned to Delia. “What happened?” “She was murdered,” she said. “You know that. You don’t want to know how, though.” Mom wiped the tears from her face. “You’re right about that, I don’t.” “She’s in peace now,” Delia said. “I know,” Mom said. “She visits me, too.” “Wonderful!” Delia said. “So you see, I’m not a deadbeat but I am a witch. And you know that Clementine’s one, too.” “Listen, we don’t any part of this,” Mom said. “We left that back in Savannah. We don’t need anything from you, okay? So you can leave now.” “I can’t leave,” she said. “It’s my duty. Please allow me to do my duty.” “Get out of my house.” “I can’t now,” she said. “I was asked to do this and do this I will.” “What’s the book?” “You know this book, don’t you?” she asked. Mom nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes again. “That’s my mother’s book.” “It is,” she said. “Her own personal Book of Shadows, if you want to call it that. Inside this book is so much knowledge it’s almost impossible to fathom.” “I don’t want that book in my house,” Mom said. “But it’s a big part of you,” she said. “And Clementine as well.” “Me?” I said.
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Delia nodded but didn’t say anything to me. “Glenda, we both know this has to happen. And it will happen whether you like it or not. If it doesn’t come from me, who knows what sort of person will teach it to her? It has to happen.” “No, it doesn’t.” “It’s what your mother wanted.” “How do you know that?” she snapped. “Like I said, she visited me,” she said. “It took me years to locate you. I didn’t have anything to go on but your name. And, of course, with your marriage, it’s changed.” Mom looked away. “Your mother was a very powerful witch, Glenda,” she said. “I don’t have near the power she had. I’ve never seen such power in my life except of course, from Clementine.” “Me?” I asked, surprised. “Yes, you,” she said. “You’re a witch, Clementine, and no ordinary witch either. You are a powerful, powerful witch.” “Stop it!” Mom screamed. “Don’t you dare say that to her! You have no right!” “You know it’s true,” she said. “You can’t deny it any longer. And she’s getting older, too. If we don’t teach her to control her power… Well, we don’t want to find out what could happen, now do we?” My head was spinning. Delia turned to me. “And you know it, too, Clementine. You know you have powers, don’t you?” I shook my head. I didn’t, really. Mom muttered, “She doesn’t have them anymore.” “What?” Delia asked. I shook my head and asked, “Mom, what are you talking about?” 48
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“You don’t remember, do you?” she said, turning to me. “Remember what?” “Fifth grade, your teacher.” I thought about it and shook my head. She turned to Delia and said, “Her fifth grade teacher got onto her for reading a romance novel she’d stolen from me. They said it was a dirty book—I didn’t even know she’d taken it. Anyway, she took it to school and the teacher found it. The teacher got up in front of the class and said, ‘Kids, I want you to all look at what Clementine has been reading.’” Oh, my God. The memory came flooding at me. I remembered the teacher—a bleached blonde—taking the book and addressing the class about it. I remembered all the kids looking at me with disgust, though why they were looking at me like that I didn’t know. I never felt as if I’d done anything wrong, really, but I felt embarrassment for it anyway. And the teacher was such a bitch to me, always had been. She’d always point out my mistakes and at any opportunity she’d paddle me—in front of the whole class. I don’t know why she had it out for me, but she did. When she pulled the book out, I stared at her and it was like something came over me, something came to my assistance, and as I looked at her, I knew something had to be done. So, I pointed at her and said, “Gray!” She was startled but just shook it off. However, the next day she came to school gray-headed. I never did get that book back. “I was called in,” Mom continued. “And they said it was about the book but when I was talking to the teacher she said, ‘Funniest thing happened to me. I woke up this morning and was completely gray-headed.’ I knew Clementine had done it. When I asked her, she admitted it.”
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Wow. Oh, wow! Here I was with a secret life I hadn’t even known about. I could have made Melissa Watson’s hair gray! No, that was wrong. But… No. “That’s impressive,” Delia said. “No, it isn’t,” Mom snapped. “It’s not impressive. It’s terrible to do that to someone.” “Look at what she did to Clementine.” “A little embarrassment won’t kill a child.” “But it does harm to their spirit,” Delia replied. “Well, I made sure she didn’t do it anymore,” Mom said. “What do you mean?” she asked. “I suppressed her powers after that,” she said. “I can do that. I’m her mother.” My mouth fell open. I thought I was going to pass out. It was true—I was a witch. I was a witch. A witch! For real! And, of course, my mother had suppressed my powers. “Why would you do that?” Delia asked. “But you said you didn’t have any powers!” I exclaimed. “I said I didn’t have the gift,” she replied curtly. “I have powers. They’re not that great but they help out in a pinch. I don’t use them unless I have to. So, I did a little suppression spell and it’s worked wonders.” “But it’s not working anymore,” Delia said. “With a power like Clementine’s you have to keep on top of it. It has to be refined or it could destroy her.” “Like it did my mother?” she snapped. “Oh, I don’t think so. She’s not going to use that power at all if I have anything to do with it. I thought we were safe moving here but then you people had to follow us.” “I was summoned,” Delia said. “I don’t care,” Mom said. “Why are you doing this?” 50
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“I’m repaying a debt,” she said. “Listen to me, regardless of whether you suppress her powers or not, she will still have the gift. So, why not teach her how to use it?” “I don’t want that life for her,” Mom said, shaking her head. “It destroyed my mother.” “I understand that,” Delia aid. “But it’s different now. Why suppress her powers and her gift? Why do that to her?” “She’s my daughter,” she said. “It’s my job to do what’s right by her! It’s my job to protect her.” “When she comes fully into her powers,” Delia said with a sigh. “There will be no need to protect her from anything.” I stared at her, getting what she was saying. Wow. That was pretty cool. “Glenda, I will do this with or without your permission,” she continued. “Why not make it easier on me by allowing me access to Clementine everyday? All we need is a few hours.” “They took my mother,” she said. “I won’t allow them to take my daughter.” “That was a different time,” Delia replied. “We’re more accepted now. Your mother was the victim of a paranoid old man.” “What is she going to do with all this power?” Mom asked. “She doesn’t have to do anything,” Delia replied. “She just has to practice and become familiar with it, that’s all. If she’s called, then she can help. Until then, she can live normally.” “Oh, with your son, I suppose?” she snapped. “Or was that part of the scam?” “What?” I asked, aghast. Please, no! Don’t let this be a scam! “No, it wasn’t part of the scam, which there was no scam in the first place,” Delia said. I breathed a sigh of relief.
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“Knute didn’t even really know who Clementine was until I told him,” she said. “I wasn’t about to allow that to happen. This wasn’t about the two of them falling in love or anything. But of course, he comes home one day and tells me he’s just given a ride to the prettiest girl in school. When he told me her name, I could have beaten him.” “Why?” I asked. “Because, like I said,” she said. “It was about you and me studying together. Not that I don’t approve, dear. It’s quite an honor to have such a powerful witch in my midst and with my son. He can only benefit from having you around.” “Thanks,” I muttered. “I think.” “So, of course, then you found out and Clementine was banned from seeing him,” she said to my mother. “And I had to wait a year in this miserable little town. I knew if I came up to her out of the blue she might run away—or get freaked out as the kids say—and I didn’t want that. I wanted her to make the decision to come and study on her own.” “Huh,” I muttered, thinking she was talking about me like I wasn’t in the room. “Besides, kids are going to fall in love, Glenda,” she said. “And why stop them? They’re kids, so let them be kids. Don’t you remember what it was like to be a kid?” “No, I don’t,” Mom hissed. “I can only remember having to work every day after school because my mother was taken from me. I can only remember wanting her to be home and she never was because she was dead.” “I’m sorry about that,” she said. “You know I am. When I heard she’d passed, I cried as if my own mother had died. She was an important influence on me.” “How did you get the book?” Mom asked. 52
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“She let me borrow it the week she got… You know.” She held it up. “It’s Clementine’s now. I’ve made my own from it. I don’t need it anymore.” She handed it to me. It weighed a ton. Inside were handwritten notes on old yellowed paper, paper that looked and felt like onion skin and was browned with age. I ran my hand over the pages and felt something. I drew my hand back and gasped. “She’s in there,” Delia said and smiled at me. “She’s so happy you got the book.” “Really?” I asked in amazement. I didn’t even know what to do with the book. She laid her hand on mine. “We’ll sort it all out soon.” I nodded and turned to Mom. She looked at me and shook her head slightly. I smiled at her and said, “Mom, I think it’s for the best.” “I guess,” she said. “I guess it is. I just didn’t want this for you. I wanted you to go to college.” “She can still go to college, Glenda,” Delia said, then turned to me. “You can still be a normal young girl as long as you keep quiet about it. I mean, that’s important, Clementine. You can’t go around bragging about being a powerful witch.” I nodded at her that I understood. She turned back to my mother. “She can be a young girl with very powerful gift. And, obviously, she can’t use it to cheat on her exams.” What fun would it be having all this power if I couldn’t do that? I thought about it. Yeah, that kinda sucked. Mom nodded. “Okay, fine, whatever. You beat me. Congratulations. However, I have a few things to say. First of all, I want you to tell that boy of yours to keep his paws off my daughter.” 53
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“I’ve already told him that,” she said. “I won’t have… I mean… He understands that there will be no funny business involved.” Like I said, what was the use in having this power if I couldn’t use it to my benefit? Especially if it knocked me out of being Knute’s girlfriend? “Sorry, Clementine,” she said and winked at me. “But I agree with your mother, you’re too young. Besides, Knute will be going to college soon.” “What?” I asked. She nodded. “In the fall, he’ll be going to Louisiana State University. His father went there and insisted he go there as well. Of course, his father dropped out. Knute won’t.” “You’re making him leave?” I asked in a panic. “Are you kidding me?” “It was planned before all this, Clementine,” she said. “Sorry.” “Is he gifted too?” Mom asked. She nodded. “He is but, like you, I suppressed a bit of his powers from an early age. His grandmother is also a witch, so, he got it from both sides of the family.” “Wow,” I said. “What can he do?” She smiled at me and said, “Just some stuff, nothing major yet. But one day, when he comes into his powers… Well, I can’t wait. There will be fireworks, for sure.” I nodded. I wanted to be there for that, too. She stood and said, “Well, if we understand each other, we can start our lessons tomorrow. Is that okay, Glenda?” “It’s fine, I suppose,” she said. “Give me that book, Clementine. I want to look at it.” I handed her the book. “Great!” Delia said and clapped her hands together. “So, tomorrow about noon?” 54
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“She’ll be working at noon,” Mom said. “But I quit!” I exclaimed. “And tomorrow you will go over there and apologize and beg for your job back,” she said. “I called Hank and he said if you asked nicely he might be willing to give you a second chance.” “Are you serious?” I asked. “I am,” she said and turned to Delia. “I won’t let her be lazy. She has to learn to earn a living.” “I agree,” Delia said. “I think it would be good for her, as well.” Great, now they were ganging up on me. “So, what time do you usually get off work?” she asked. “About three,” I said. “If I can get my job back.” “You will,” Mom said. “If you ask nice.” I rolled my eyes and we walked Delia to her car. She gave us each a hug, told me it was going to be “big fun” and then drove off. “Do I really have to go back to work tomorrow?” I asked. “If you want new school clothes,” she said. “Shit,” I muttered. “One thing, young lady,” she said. “Don’t you ever put a spell on me or you will live to regret it.” That was one thing I wished I’d listened to her about. But of course, being young and dumb, I didn’t heed her warning.
School Days I kinda thought learning about witchcraft was going to be boring. I thought we’d do stuffy potions and say weird things that made no sense and stuff like that. I was wrong. On the first day, Delia had me levitating.
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“Oh, you’re ready,” she said. “Knute’s been doing it since he was six.” “Five and a half,” Knute said and winked at me. “Oh,” I said. “How fun is it having to go back to work at the drive-in?” Knute asked. “It’s about as fun as answering stupid questions,” I retorted. Delia squealed with laughter. “Oh, a girl who can cut to the bone. I love it!” “Okay,” Knute said. “I can take it. But you might not know who you’re messing with, Witch Little.” I stuck my tongue out at him and he exited the room, throwing his hand up as he left. She stared after him. “Sometimes I worry about him.” “Why? What’s wrong?” “It’s just that occasionally I see a darkness in him I don’t like,” she said then shook her head. “It’s nothing, just a mother worrying. Now, let’s try this!” She instructed me to lie down on the floor and then, “Think about being air, being light and lifting off the ground. Think of a balloon, how it floats without effort…up, up…up… Think about it and don’t think of anything else.” I thought about it and then I felt it. I felt myself rising a little, then a little more. Delia instructed me softly, “Up…up…up…” I was floating. “Up…up…up…uppppp…hold… Hold.” I held and opened my eyes. I was about a foot off the floor. I was about a foot off the floor! I almost freaked out and fell, but I held on. Concentrate… “Stupid parlor trick,” Knute said and sat on the couch. 56
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I fell to the floor. “Ow!” “Knute!” Delia snapped. “I told you not to interrupt us.” “Sorry, Mom,” he said. “I want to watch.” “No, you just want to be around Clementine.” We blushed in unison. “And don’t call this a parlor trick,” she snapped and turned to me. “His father used to call this kind of magic parlor tricks. That’s where he gets that from. Of course, his term ‘parlor trick,’ is very old-fashioned, like anyone has parlors now.” “Well,” he said. “Living room trick doesn’t quite convey the same meaning.” She smiled at him and laughed a little. I rubbed my butt. “That hurt, parlor trick or not.” “I can rub it for you,” Knute said. “Silence!” Delia hissed and his mouth clamped shut. “Boy, I will give you two seconds to leave this room!” He was gone in one. “Nevermind him.” She turned to me. “Wanna try it again?” “Yes!” I exclaimed. “Please!” We worked like that everyday, even on weekends. Before a month had passed, I could levitate almost four feet. Not only could I levitate myself, I could also levitate objects, which really annoyed my mother, which made it more fun. Of course, I wasn’t that good at it to begin with, but practice does make perfect. “You’re a natural,” Delia said. “Have you been studying the book?” “Yeah,” I said. “It’s really old, isn’t it?”
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“It is,” she said. “It was passed down for God knows how many generations to your grandmother and then to you. You can tell by the old onion skin paper in it.” “I know,” I said. “It’s really cool.” “Is there anything you have a question about?” I shook my head. “Actually, no. It was all kinda foreign at first but then I started to just read it, thinking about my grandmother writing it and it fell into place.” She stared at me in awe. “Wow. Do you think you’re channeling your grandmother?” I shrugged. “I hope not. That’s kinda creepy.” She laughed. “It’s far from creepy, especially with a grandmother like yours.” “What did you know about her?” She sighed and said, “Well, she was a powerful witch but she was a really nice person, too, you know? She really helped my family out by healing me. My mother adored her. She used to joke that she wanted to trade her mother in for her.” “Really?” I asked. “Yeah, everyone loved her,” she said and nodded. “She was also a great beauty, did you know that?” I shook my head. “She was part Cherokee, like you,” she said. “But instead of blue eyes, she had dark eyes. Oh, and beautiful dark skin and black hair. Her hair was so long and straight and fine it was unbelievable. But, of course, she wore it in a bun. One day, she was over at our house for something and the bun fell out. So, she had to tie her hair back up and as she did so, she turned to me and said, ‘Delia, don’t ever cut your hair. A woman’s glory is in her hair.’ Of course, my hair isn’t near as good as hers was, but her saying that always stuck with me.” 58
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“So I shouldn’t cut my hair?” “Oh, no,” she said. “I mean, don’t grow it to your knees, but keep it long. Men love long hair on a woman, Clementine. It makes a woman seem young and available, which is what all men want.” I nodded. “I know I like it,” Knute said and came into the room. “Is it time for me to take Witch Little home now or not?” “Why do you call her Witch Little?” she asked him. He shrugged. “Well, she’s a witch and she’s little. Why not?” “Just wondering,” she said and continued to eye him. “Straight home, Knute, okay?” “Yes, Mother,” he said. “Ready, Witch Little?” “Ready,” I said and waved at Delia on my way out. As usual, as soon as we were out of sight and pulled off on an old road, we were at each other. It really was hard to contain ourselves. I pulled him on top of me and wanted him so badly. We kissed with fervor. I wanted to kiss him from the tip of his toes to the top of his head. I wanted him to kiss me from the tip of my toes to the top of my head. I wanted his hands on me, all over me. “Hold on,” he said and pulled away breathlessly. “What is it?” I asked and began to kiss his neck. “Hold on, Clementine,” he said and held up one finger. “Why?” I teased. “You know why.” “I don’t,” I said and giggled. “We’re going to have to stop doing this,” he said. “What?” I exclaimed. “Are you kidding?” “No, I’m not,” he said. “It’s just too hard on me.” “Knute, we can do it,” I said. “I can get some condoms or something.” “No, we can’t,” he said. 59
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“Why not?” “Because they will find out.” “How will they find out?” I asked. “Mom just has a way of getting the truth out of me,” he said. “I think she slips truth serum in my milk.” “So stop drinking milk, then,” I said and nuzzled his neck. “Oh, God, Knute, you smell so good.” “You do, too,” he said and slid his hand behind my head and pulled me to him. He kissed me for a moment. I thrust my chest out, wanting more. He grinned and slipped his hand up my shirt, resting it on top of my bra, on top of my breast. All of a sudden, he started laughing. I pulled away. “What is it?” “You smell like hamburgers and french fries.” I rolled my eyes. “That’s not exactly a romantic thing to say to a girl.” He shook his head as he laughed. “I’m sorry, baby, but you do.” “I can’t help it if my mom makes me work in that hellhole.” “So quit.” “Oh, yeah, right,” I said. “You sure do know to spoil the mood.” “It’s not spoiled,” he said. “But, really, you should quit.” “I can’t quit,” I said. “I have a crazy mother.” “Oh, don’t call her that. She’s not that bad.” “You live with her then.” “I can’t,” he said. “She hates me.” “She hates that your—and I quote—‘greasy paws’ might be on me.” He threw his head back and laughed loudly. “Did she say that?” “She did,” I said. “Several times.” “What else does she say about me?” “That’s about it,” I said. “Who cares about her? I like having your greasy paws on me.” 60
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“I like ’em being on you, too,” he said and grabbed my breasts. I squealed. “Oh, stop it!” “Stop what?” he asked and pushed me back onto the seat. “Nothing,” I said and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Don’t stop. Just do it.” “Can’t,” he said and pressed into me. “You’re still jailbait.” I wrapped my legs around his waist and held him still. “Give me a few months and I’ll be older. My birthday is coming up.” “Still jailbait.” “Damn it,” I said. “Who cares? Let’s stop this torture.” “I don’t like it anymore than you do,” he said. “In fact, I hate it. I want to do it, believe me, but I can’t.” “Why not?” “I promised my mom I wouldn’t,” he said and groaned as if he’d let the cat out of the bag. “You talked to your mom about us?” I asked, horrified. “No, she talked to me about us and she warned me, okay? She told me… God! I don’t want to talk about this right now. I just got told not to, alright?” I stared at him. “That’s so unfair to us. What would it hurt if we did? I’m old enough. Lots of girls start a lot earlier than this.” He sighed and pulled back, shaking his head. “No, let’s wait.” “For what?” I half-yelled. “I can’t take this anymore. It’s torture!” “Well, just go home and rub one out.” “Excuse me?” “Rub one out?” he asked, then seemed embarrassed. “It’s a guy term; I guess I shouldn’t have used it.” “What do you mean? Masturbate?” “Yeah,” he said. “Don’t you do that?” “No!” I screeched and slapped his arm. 61
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“Don’t get so upset,” he said. “Everyone does it.” “I don’t do it.” “You should,” he said. “I do it all the time.” “Too much information,” I groaned. “Besides, I don’t even know how it works.” He grinned. “Want me to show you?” “You can do that?” “I thought you were already doing it,” he said. “You must be wound up tighter than Dick’s hatband.” Dick’s hatband? What did that mean? What did it matter? But I was wound up tighter than Dick’s hatband, whoever Dick was. However, I didn’t really know anything about sex, let alone pleasuring myself. Who better to teach me than him? I knew it would be one of the best lessons I could ever learn. “Just lay back, baby, and I’ll show you,” he said. I tensed and waited and just as he was about to start, someone rapped on the window. We jumped up to see Delia, who looked, to say the least, upset. Fortunately for us, we were so far down in the seat she couldn’t see anything. At least, I hoped she couldn’t. “Get out of the car, kids,” she said calmly. “Busted,” Knute muttered before moving off me. “Shit,” I muttered and hurriedly got out of the car. “Clementine, get in my car,” she said and jerked her head towards her car before turning to Knute. “I think I’ll take over driving Clementine home from now on.” “Mom,” he groaned. “I warned you,” she said and turned on her heel. “Get in the car, Clementine.” I got in the car, feeling so embarrassed I almost wanted to just run away instead. She got in, put the car in gear and backed up
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onto the main road, then turned the car towards my house. She didn’t say one word. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. “It’s not your fault,” she said. “As I told you before, my son is a very persuasive individual.” “No, it’s not all his fault,” I said. “It’s just—” “Teenage hormones,” she said and smiled gently at me. “I know, sweetheart. I was once young, too.” “Oh,” I muttered, still feeling the sting of embarrassment at being caught. “I don’t mean to be a wet blanket,” she said. “But I promised your mother if she’d allow me to teach you what I need to, then I’d make sure nothing like this happened. I’m sorry, but it’s a promise I intend to keep.” God, this was so embarrassing. I just nodded and muttered, “Okay.” She turned to me and smiled again. “Clementine, there will plenty of time for that when you get older. You’re just too young right now. You should wait.” Problem was, they always wanted you to wait until you were older, while your youth quickly vanished, then you got older and nothing like this happened for you anymore. It was a catch-22 that wasn’t lost on me. Eager to change the subject, I said, “You said something once about me being called to help. I mean, once I got my powers under control and all that. What did you mean?” “Uh, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that for a long time.” “But don’t I need to know?” I asked. “Well, sometimes things happen,” she said. “And witches are called to help.” 63
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“What happens?” “Sometimes the underworld—if you want to call it that—gets a bit out of control,” she said. “Sometimes there’s a battle here or there, what-have-you. And, needless to say, we’re called upon to produce magic in order to get things back under control.” My mouth fell open. “What do you mean ‘underworld’?” “Maybe that wasn’t the best term,” she said. “Basically, good and evil both exist in the world and sometimes evil begins to outweigh good. That’s when we’re called upon to help rebalance it so that bad things don’t start getting out of control. Whenever very terrible things happen in the world, evil has gotten out of balance. We help restore the balance.” “Wow, “I said. “That’s really cool. When do I start helping?” She chuckled. “We haven’t gotten that far, have we, Clementine? Let’s save it for another day.” “No, I want to know,” I said. “Would I be fighting demons and vampires?” “Demons, yes, vampires, no,” she said. “Vamps are generally lazy creatures. They like to stay out all night and sleep all day.” I just stared at her, wondering if she was joking. “Demons, on the other hand,” she said and drew in a breath. “Well, they’re a totally different story.” “You’re telling me this shit actually exists?” I asked. “Well, it’s not ‘shit’, per se,” she replied, wincing at my coarse choice of words. “But, yes. It’s not that big of a deal. We all try to coexist in harmony for the most part until someone gets a crazy idea about taking over the world or some such nonsense.” She turned and smiled at me. “They’re completely incapable of such a thing, dear.” I suddenly felt a panic. “I don’t know about all this. My mom always made me go to church. I was raised a Baptist! A Southern 64
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Baptist! We don’t dig that kind of shit, you know? Demons and all that other stuff don’t exist in my world.” “But this is your world now,” she said gently. “Besides, it’s mostly preparation, not actually battling. Well, there is some battling, but overall, it’s just some flashes of light and a little thunderstorm brought in for theatrics. These creatures scare very easily.” “I scare very easily!” I exclaimed. She laughed. “No, you don’t. Your mother and I’ve been warning you for months not to do what I just caught you doing. Knute’s been warned, too. But did either of you heed your mother’s and my warnings? No. And that means you have instinct, just like every human on earth. You follow your instinct. I can’t fault you for it, but I can steer you in another direction, which is exactly what I’m going to do.” I groaned and felt the embarrassment return. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, dear,” she said. “Sex between consenting adults is a wonderful thing. There’s nothing wrong with it. But right now, you can’t have it. Sorry, but you can’t. I made a promise.” “If there’s nothing wrong with it, why does everyone make a big deal out of it?” She laughed. “Good question and if you ever find out the answer, please let me know, Clementine.” I nodded though I didn’t understand what she was getting at. “Ah, here we are,” she said and pulled up to my house. I sighed and opened the door. I hesitated, thinking of something. “What is it?” she asked, almost instinctually. I turned to her and asked, “Did my grandmother ever have to do battle?” 65
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She smiled. “Your grandmother was a great warrior. Everyone in our world felt her loss.” I felt sad then, sad for this world and for the world I’d been living in, the world that was slowly slipping away as I settled into my calling. I felt sad because I was changing into a witch, into a witch with enormous power and I could feel it. I was sad because I was becoming a woman and I would soon only remember being a girl, instead of actually living like a girl. I felt sad because Knute was going away to college soon and the thought of not seeing him everyday was killing me. I was a little scared, too. I was scared of this new world opening up to me and sucking me in. Perhaps because I knew once I was a full-fledged witch, I’d never be the same. Delia leaned over and took my hand, squeezing it gently. “We all feel like that sometimes, Clementine. It’s okay to feel your sadness. Just don’t let your sadness overrule everything. Feel it and then let it go.” I nodded and suddenly burst into tears. She scooted across the seat and hugged me. She let me cry on her shoulder and told me how proud she was of me. She told me to feel my fear, to never run away from it. She told me fear would guide me to where I needed to go and it would always lead me to the truth, which was the most important thing to never lose sight of. I pulled away and stopped crying. Delia always left me with a good feeling. She was that kind of person. She was a rarity and one of a kind. “When it’s time, you and Knute will be together,” she said and smoothed the hair out of my eyes. “What if he falls in love with someone else at college?” I asked. “That’s the fear, isn’t it?” she said. “That little fear is making you feel all this. It’s okay, darling. Knute will never stop loving 66
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you. Yes, he might take a lover here and there and that’s because he’s a young man. Don’t ever judge him for it.” “What do you mean he might take a lover?” I asked, feeling the panic again. “Shh,” she said. “I didn’t mean it like that.” “Yes, you did,” I said. She shook her head. “I just want you to know that sometimes people do things that hurt us. They don’t usually do it with the full intention of hurting us. They just do it because that’s what sometimes happens.” I nodded that I understood, though I didn’t. “Well, I just hope he doesn’t do it.” She sighed and said, “Me too, Clementine. I’ll see you tomorrow.” A month later, Knute left for college.
Bending the Rules It was hard living without Knute in my life. My mother, however, was overjoyed. She was so happy she didn’t have to worry about Knute’s “greasy little paws” she could barely contain herself. It got on my nerves to say the least. But with him being gone, I was able to fully concentrate on my work, school and witchcraft. I also began to take the correspondence classes so I could graduate a year early. My friends at school thought I was “crazy” to give up all the “good stuff” that was headed my way during senior year. They didn’t realize that I thought I had plenty of “good stuff” headed my way as soon as I 67
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graduated. Besides, I rationalized, why prolong the inevitable? Get it over with and get on with it. My friends also wanted to know why I was hanging out with that “strange lady” every afternoon after school instead of hanging out with them. They knew she was Knute’s mother, but that’s all they knew. I couldn’t say anything and when they got too close or too inquisitive, Delia taught me a small forgetful spell that dried up the inquiries. It was nice to be able to do that. It was the best part of being witch, being able to manipulate circumstances like that. And it kept me from answering some embarrassing questions. As I learned from Delia, witchcraft was about potions and stirring a big pot full of various ingredients—if you wanted to make a mess. But that was saved for the bigger, as she said, “fish to fry.” Mostly it was about mind insinuation. When you have the gift, the spells are more about thinking things through and, once you do that, once you know exactly what you’re after, you know how to channel your thoughts in order to get your desired result. If you wanted something to happen badly enough and you had power within you, all you had to do was put it out into the universe and the universe would actually come through. You didn’t make it happen, the universe did. You just put it out there and it happened. It was really cool, to say the least. “It’s all about mind control,” she said. “I mean, no, you’re not controlling anyone’s mind. That’s not what it’s about. It’s about controlling your mind. It’s about concentration. If you have the gift, you can make your mind do all sorts of things. That’s why we started with levitating. Levitating, once you do it, opens up your mind, your third eye. Once you activate your third eye, and everyone has one, by the way, anything is possible. But because we
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were born witches, we have a little bit more to work with than the average human.” “Wow,” I said and nodded. It made sense, complete and total sense. That’s why I’d been able to turn my teacher’s hair gray that day. “And once you can completely control it,” she said. “You will be a full-fledged witch.” “And what does that mean?” I asked. “That means,” she said. “You will be in-tune with the earth and the stars and the universe and the trees and the animals and everything. You will walk differently, you will talk differently and you will think differently. Of course, you will be the same person as you were meant to be, but just calmer and better because you know your place in the world and you’ve fitted yourself into it.” “Oh,” I said. Sometimes what she said made sense, and sometimes it went right over my head. But the thing was, whatever she said to me seemed to always stick in my head. Later on, I’d recall what she said and then I’d understand it. So, I was sure that I would get what she was talking about then a few hours later. Before I could truly get my power under control, I would probably have to make a few mistakes. Well, more than a few. Delia said this was normal and to not worry about it. She was right, of course. In the beginning, I was the worst. Well, probably not the worst. In any case, when I was first getting started, I’d go out into the yard and come up with all kinds of crazy stuff to do. I’d look around the yard and let my mind tell me what to do. One day, it just happened to tell me that there might be buried treasure in the yard and, boy, wouldn’t that be nice? So, I took a breath, raised my hand and said, “Find!” Nothing happened. I took a breath and adjusted my spell. “Locate coin.” 69
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All of a sudden, there was a hole in the yard, then another one, then another one, and another one. They kept popping up or, rather, sinking in as I stood there flabbergasted. I watched as about a hundred or so holes came into being. It looked like a gopher had had a field day! I wondered how I was going to fix all those holes. Mom would kill me! But what if there was something in those holes? I giggled with glee and ran to them, bending down and finding… A penny. And then another penny. And another and another. The pennies were old, probably from the 1950s and not worth more than a…well, a penny. I sat back on my heels and sighed. Obviously, some kid years ago had buried his treasure—a lot of pennies. I looked around the yard, thinking about all the work it was going to take to fix the holes and then thought, why can’t I just let magic fix them? Sure, why not? I raised my hand and said, “Repair!” And, just like that, the holes covered themselves up. Even the grass that was on top of them went right back to its original position, like nothing had happened. It was awesome! My stomach growled. I looked at my watch, realized it was after one in the afternoon and that I hadn’t eaten yet. I started into the house to make a sandwich, then thought about how I’d love some barbecue ribs. Mmmm… I loved ribs. We only had them on special occasions and only after I begged my mother for days to make them. I glanced at the old charcoal grill we had, then I turned to the gas grill Mom had bought last year for Fourth of July. I contemplated. Charcoal or gas? Charcoal or gas? Gas would cook them more quickly, so gas it was. I turned to the grill and, with no thought of meat actually being on the grill or how this was really going to work, I said, “Cook!”
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It cooked alright. The thing blew up. It blew up so hard, it shot into the sky about fifty feet and then crashed into the roof of the old garden shed where we stored the lawnmower and gardening tools. I think I stood there in shock for a full thirty seconds. Then I got a really sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I sat down and put my head in my hands. My mother was definitely going to kill me. There was no way out of it. Maybe I could repair it, though. I was about to do just that when I heard a gasp behind me. I turned to see my mother standing behind me, staring at the building. “What are you doing home?” I asked weakly. “I didn’t even hear you drive up.” “Maybe because I drove up during the explosion!” she yelled, shaking her head. “Oh, my God, you could have killed yourself!” “I can fix it,” I said and raised my hand. “No!” she screamed and grabbed my arm. “You might make it blow up again or, even worse, it might hit the house this time. Stop fooling with this nonsense!” “I have to practice!” I lamented. “If I don’t, I will never figure out what I’m doing.” “No, you need to find another way to practice,” she said and walked toward the building to inspect the damage. “What are you doing home?” I asked again. “I actually got a bad feeling and decided I should come home and check on you,” she said. “I suppose my hunch was right.” “Sorry,” I said weakly, feeling bad. She crossed her arms and shook her head at me while staring at the building. “Oh, God, this is a wreck!” “Sorry,” I muttered again. “I was just trying to make us some ribs!”
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“If you want ribs, Clemmy,” she said. “Just ask for them. And tone it down a little. You don’t start out with things like this!” So, I had to tone it down a little. Levitating things was, more or less, something even a novice could do according to Delia. I decided to master that because I could levitate myself pretty well by that point. At first, I was pretty good at it and started with small things like the salt and pepper shaker and spoons. Once I mastered that, I decided to work on the bigger things, like the couch in the living room. Why I took that big of a leap of faith was beyond me, but it felt right at the time. I went in there one day to see my mother doing something that drove me absolutely crazy. She was sitting on the couch reading one of her romance novels while eating a bag of potato chips. This drove me crazy because it wasn’t like she was eating; it was like she was grazing. Her eyes were glued to the page of the book and her hand dipped down into the bag of chips, then came up to deposit the chip into her mouth. The way she did this was almost robotic, or like a cow grazing on heather in a field. And it would go on for hours! So, obviously, I thought it would be funny to play a prank on her. I chuckled to myself and sat down in the chair opposite the couch. She didn’t even notice me when I came in—that’s how much she was into reading her “stories.” So, I sat there and stared at the potato chip bag. Then I whispered, “Left.” The bag moved slightly to the left, away from her hand. So, when her hand came down it didn’t go into the bag at all. She didn’t notice this and just grabbed the bag and pulled it closer to her. Then I whispered, “Left,” again and the bag moved even further. This time her hand felt around for the bag, then grabbed it and pulled it back to her. Then I decided to get real cocky and said, “Disappear.” The bag
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disappeared. I almost cracked up, but contained myself and watched as her hand fumbled around for the bag. When she couldn’t locate the bag, she glanced up at me and said, “Okay, funny, now give it back.” “You have no sense of humor,” I said and sighed, then, “Reappear.” The bag reappeared. She shook her head at me and continued doing what she was doing. Then I set my sights on the actual couch. “Up…up…up…” I whispered. The end of it tipped up and then the other one came up. It was so gentle that Mom didn’t even notice. How high could I get the thing? I really concentrated and muttered, “Up… up… up…” and soon it was about four foot in the air. And she still didn’t notice it. (She really got engrossed in those books.) I was just about to sit it back down and leave the room, hoping she wouldn’t notice when she, all of a sudden, decided to get up. And she didn’t even put the book down! She stood—still reading—and, because there was no floor beneath her feet, fell down—feet-first. “Ow!” she hollered and jumped up and down, holding her foot. “Oh, my God, I’m sorry!” I said and raced over to her. She took a breath and said, “I’m fine. Just go outside.” “Are you sure? I can—” “Go outside!” she yelled. I went outside. I sat down on the porch step and felt bad for a while but then I heard her moving around the house, so I figured she was okay. Eventually, I got up and looked around thinking I should do some more levitating. I mean, I did get the couch up really good, so why not try a few other things? So, I levitated the plant stand on the corner of the porch. Up and down I levitated it until I got bored. Easy enough. Then I levitated the welcome mat but that didn’t pose much challenge. I 73
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set my sights on the rocking chair. Up…up…up… It was going really high, too high, so I decided to set it back down. I said, “Down!” But, instead of going down, it actually crashed into the window, busting it all to hell. Unfortunately, my mother was sitting on the couch in front of the window that I’d just crashed. She came racing out with a murderous look on her face, shaking glass out of her hair. “You can’t keep doing this!” she yelled. I thought about it. Why not fix it? I raised my hand and said, “Repair!” All of a sudden, the whole house started to “repair” itself. It was the craziest thing I’d ever seen. The lopsided shutter adjusted itself. The crack on the front step repaired itself. The broken window flew back together and set itself back into its place. The peeling white paint suddenly wasn’t peeling anymore. The squeaky porch swing was no longer squeaky. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” I told Mom and raised my arm. “Let me turn it back.” She pushed my arm down. “No, leave it.” My jaw dropped. She stared at me and shook her head. “Just this once, Clementine. That’s all. Just this once. It’s already done and you did it by mistake. No sense in turning it back, is there?” I smiled. Well, it was done already, wasn’t it? “I wonder if it did anything to the inside?” she asked. We raced inside and, much to our disappointment, the house was as it was. Nothing got repaired on the inside. “You know,” I said and looked down at the floor. “I could repair this, too, probably.” “No, Clemmy,” Mom said. “Why not?” I asked. 74
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“You don’t need to do that,” she said. “What’s the use in having this power if I can’t make my life better?” She studied me. “It’s not that, honey. It’s just that we don’t have much money and if, all of a sudden, we have a brand new looking house, people might talk.” “Who cares about them?” I asked. “The outside looks new now.” “Will, anyone can buy a can of paint or fix a broken window,” she said. “But if you do too much, I mean if we do too much, it will look like we’ve come into some money we haven’t come into. And that will make people talk and then they’ll want to know where this money came from. It would make for a very sticky situation. I’d rather avoid that.” I nodded in agreement, though it just about killed me. I’d always wanted to live in a nice house and though our house wasn’t awful, it could use some sprucing up. “You sure?” I asked. “I’m sure,” she said and patted me on the back. “But, while you’re at it, do you think you could fix the hole in the roof of the garden shed? And maybe the gas grill?” “I know I can fix the hole,” I said. “I’m not sure about the gas grill.” “Then do it.” I giggle with glee and she followed me out into the yard. I stood in front of the old shed and, for some reason, I said, “Replace,” instead of “Repair.” I guess I just got tongue-tied or maybe excited that Mom was actually letting me use my power. Even so, it was a disaster. Oh, good Lord! It was terrifying. The whole roof came off in one fell swoop. Mom and I had to duck sheets of rusted old tin and then run onto the porch for shelter. We were stunned by it, 75
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but even more in awe as we watched a whole new tin roof place itself on the old building. The sheets of tin were so shiny and new they sparkled in the sun. “I’ll be damned,” Mom said and we walked into the yard. “Wow,” I said. “I should have been more conscientious, but it does look good.” “It does,” she said and glanced at all the old tin, then at me. I nodded and said, “Disappear,” to the old tin that was strewn all over the yard and—poof!—it went away. I imagined it ending up in a land field somewhere. I stared at Mom. She chuckled and shook her head at me. “You are a piece of work, young lady.” “I suppose I am.” “You are.” “Are you sure you don’t want me to fix the house up a little?” I asked hopefully. “You could tell everyone you won the lottery.” “No, don’t,” she said with a sigh. “But, God, how I’d love for you to do it.” I raised my eyebrows at her, letting her know I’d love to do it, but she just shook her head. “No,” she said. “Save your powers for something more important.” What that “something” was could have been anyone’s guess. But I kept at these small things until I mastered them. This went on for a while and it helped to strengthen me. I really began to feel my power and once that happened, I began to use it in little ways to make my life easier and better. I knew I shouldn’t have, obviously. I didn’t have a problem with it, but my mother did. And if she found out, she’d let me have it. However, what was the fun in having this power and not being able to use it to your advantage every once in a while? One time I was short some change having 76
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enough to pay for lunch at school and I thought, “Find money.” Then, to my utter astonishment, I looked down to see a dollar on the floor. It was just there! I picked it up and handed it to the lunch-lady who said, “Thank you, Clementine.” I couldn’t help but smile. That was nice. Besides, paying anything for that crummy lunch was criminal. They should have been paying me to eat it. Not long after that, mom let me borrow the car so I could go to the mall in the next town. There I saw a beautiful pair of earrings. I wanted them so badly, I thought to myself, “Mine,” but handed them back to the friendly salesclerk. When I got home, I almost fell over when I pulled the gold, dangly things out of my purse. Oh, God, what had I done? Could I will them back? I put them back in my purse and said, “Back.” When I looked in my purse again, they were gone. But did they go back to the store? I had to find out. The next day, I hurried to the mall, thinking of the earrings. I loved them but didn’t want to take them like that. Why couldn’t they just go on sale or something? So, as I walked into the store, I thought about them going on sale. When I got to the counter, the same salesclerk was leaning against the counter. She smiled at me. “Are you back again?” she teased and held up the earrings. “They went on sale! I saved them for you!” I almost fell to the floor. I took them from her, smiled and saw that they now had a clearance sticker. They were now only ninedollars and ninety-nine cents! $9.99! Oh, my God. Nine dollars and ninety-nine cents for a pair of turquoise and gold—real gold— chandelier earrings. I mean, gold-plated. Even so, nine-ninetynine? But I couldn’t, could I? Did I do this? Did I make them go on sale? I wasn’t sure. I was about to set them down when I noticed another girl staring at me and the earrings. I could tell she wanted them—bad. To hell with that. I smiled, told the salesclerk I wanted them and 77
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paid for the earrings. And I didn’t feel guilty. I mean, it was probably a coincidence that they were on sale and she was being nice and holding them for me. And why shouldn’t I take advantage of the savings? Besides, they looked good on me. I’d never owned a nicer pair before. But then I realized what I’d done. I’d just located the earrings just as they’d gone on sale. Wow. This could be big. I mean, stuff is always going on sale, so what if I could be there right when it did? This little “victory” enabled me to move on to bigger and better things. Namely, clothes. Like any teenage girl, I really liked clothes, but I never got any of the “cool” stuff because we couldn’t afford it. So putting my theory into practice enabled me to develop a big clothing habit. Soon, I was wearing the best clothes. And all I had to do was be at the right place at the right time. This enabled me to locate the best deals in the mall. This happened with a pair of boots I’d wanted for a while. I went into the shoe department of a large store and lo and behold they had my boots. As I stood admiring them, the saleslady asked for my size. “Seven and a half?” I said, just knowing I couldn’t afford them. “I’ll check.” She went into the storeroom and I looked around at all the other great shoes, still wishing I could afford my boots. But working at a drive-in doesn’t afford that kind of style. I’d have to save, save, save to get them, which was so boring. And took so long. The sales clerk came back out and handed me the boots in the box. I sat down, then glanced at the price, which had been slashed to a seventy-five percent discount! “Oh, are these on sale?” I asked, astonished. “Actually, they’ve just been discontinued. Lucky you.” 78
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That was good luck! Very, very good luck. I didn’t even try them on. I just bought them and went home, not wanting to test my luck anymore that day. (When I got home, I tried them on and they fit perfectly.) And, after that, I had kickin’ new boots! And, after that, whenever I went shopping, I returned home with really great stuff. The great thing was, I wasn’t doing anything. I was just using my third eye to locate the things I wanted once they had gone on sale. I got to buy things that I’d never been able to buy before, even a cool, vintage looking leather bag that made every girl in school was green with envy, which is half the fun in owning such great stuff! They’d eye the bag and say, “I love your purse,” and I’d just smile and say, “Thanks!” Developing an eye for bargains helped ease the pain of being away from Knute. And anything I could do to take my mind off of him really helped. And I didn’t just do things for myself, either. I loved giving my friends great stuff that I’d found on sale. And I’d do little things for Mom, too, unbeknownst to her. The sink in the bathroom always leaked, so I had it “repaired.” She had a ratty old bathrobe she’d worn for years and for Mother’s Day she got a great, luxurious new one as well as a nice, yummy leather wallet. She looked the stuff over with a raised eyebrow, so I hurriedly said, “I made some really good tips for the past few months and I saved, so don’t have a cow. And it was on sale.” “No cow needed,” she said and held up the bathrobe. “Are you sure you didn’t—” “Mom!” I exclaimed. “Just try it on!” She did and it looked great and became one of her favorite things, as did the wallet. Oh, did I mention my tips at the drive-in increased? No, I wasn’t making a fortune, but I was actually earning what I 79
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deserved to earn at that crappy job. And, no, I didn’t take advantage of anyone, either. I just gave extra good service with a little help from magic. Whenever I’d see someone in the kitchen cutting corners on the food—like slopping together a hamburger or sending out cold French fries, I made sure the food was good. I’d just mutter, “Fresh,” as soon as the food was in the bag and ready to take to the customer. And, because of that, I got a lot of repeat service and that meant better tips. In addition to that, my boss actually gave me a raise after seeing how well I was doing with the customers. It wasn’t a fortune but he did make it worth my time to work there. Of course, I had to keep a lid on it. I couldn’t bring in bags and bags of new clothes, even if they were so cheap. Mom would have thrown a fit. So, I’d just buy a few things here and there and if she happened to ask me about a new shirt or pair of jeans, I’d tell her I got them on sale. This actually worked with her and she never questioned me. But I kinda got the feeling that she knew what I was doing and wasn’t standing in my way. I knew she always wanted me to dress better but could never afford it herself. So, she turned a blind eye to the whole thing and whenever I’d buy her something new, and I did often, she’d smile and say, “Thank you, honey, you’re very considerate.” Yeah, I was. Even Delia noticed. One day, during our lesson, she smiled at me and said, “I like your new outfit.” “Uh, I, uh, got it on sale and uh—” She put her finger to her lip and said, “It’s between you and me.” I had to smile at her. She was so cool!
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“Besides, don’t you think all young witches do things like that?” she asked, smiling at me. “I know I did. I was wondering when you were going to start.” “Well,” I said. “I thought I’d be cautious.” “Good idea,” she said. “Just don’t overdo it and you’ll be fine.” And I looked fine, too. But buying new clothes or getting better tips was only half the fun of being a witch. While it was all well and good to have new things, I knew I couldn’t get hung up on it. There was much more to being a witch than this kind of stuff. And any good witch will tell you that it’s always important to expand your capabilities. I wanted to be a very capable witch. And I wanted to help my best friend out, too. My friend Sylvia was crazy about this boy, Greg, in school. She’d liked him for years but for some reason, the little bastard thought he was “too good” for her, which drove her crazy and made her want him all the more. One day she sat lamenting about it to the point she was driving me crazy. We were in gym class, sitting on the bleachers and waiting on our teacher to come and tell us what to do. I was about to tell her to shut up and get over it when Greg walked into the gym, giving the class a message that our teacher, who was also the football coach, was out sick. Greg was a football star and he would be conducting our class that day because he just happened to be the teacher’s/football coach’s pet. Of course, Sylvia’s face lit up as soon as he showed up. She was ecstatic that he was going to teach our class. He didn’t bother mentioning he was only doing it to get out of going to class himself. However, as I stared at her, at the pain of her unrequited love, I couldn’t take it. Before I knew what I had done, I muttered, “Love her.” Nothing happened and I forgot about it until the next day she came running up to my locker to tell me, “Greg called me last
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night! I would have called and told you about it, but we talked all night. I think he’s in love with me!” Of course I was happy for her and, actually, happy for him. They were in love. Maybe I had just turned his head in the right direction. They went out all year and into the next. And she was one happy camper, too. Then there was the time I saw a car I loved. It was sitting in someone’s yard and was the cutest little sports car I’d ever seen. I had managed to save some money from my job instead of spending it all on clothes. It wasn’t much, but some. Of course, the car cost about ten times what I had. But I thought, why not see if they’d negotiate? As the owner and I talked, I could tell he was ready to get rid of the car. Then I told him I only had a little bit of money. “No matter,” he said and smiled warmly at me. “Everyone needs a good car. I’ll be glad to get it out of my yard.” He’d been so happy to sell the car, he’d even filled the gas tank! And I drove off in it. It was so great. And I was so cool! The feeling of being cool didn’t last long, of course, because my mother, being my mother, made me take it back to the man. And she made me apologize for asking him to sell it at such a low price, even though he kept insisting that he was fine with what I had given him. She didn’t realize I’d just gotten there when he’d made up his mind to get rid of the car! He just wanted it out of his yard and it had been mine, mine, mine! It made me physically sick to have to relinquish that car, but that’s what I got for having a mother like I had. And to top it off? The damn Melissa Watson drove to school in it the very next day, telling everyone her daddy had bought it for her. And I knew what he’d paid—next to nothing! Oh, it was so unfair! That little snob was the bane of my existence. All because my mother was afraid someone might start to get suspicious of us. Ugh! Sometimes, I would get really bitter 82
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and feel sorry for myself because I never got anything I wanted. All I did was school work and then witch work and then drive-in work. Of course, I did have great clothes and bags now, so that helped some. But the car incident really got me. When I told Delia about it, she laughed. “Everyone does that,” she said. “I mean… Yeah, everyone’s done that. What’s the big deal?” “Do you do it?” I asked, thinking of her fancy car. She smiled. “Maybe.” I stared around the house. “Let me ask you something. When you bought this house, it was a wreck, wasn’t it?” “More or less.” “How did you fix it up?” She smiled. “You know how, Clementine.” I nodded. It had always bugged me and now I knew. She’d used her powers to renovate the house—and probably a lot more. And what was so wrong with that? “What’s the problem?” Delia asked. “Mom said it was deceitful.” “It is, in a way,” she said. “But a lot of times, people are ready to cheat you and others, so it evens out in the end.” “You don’t disapprove?” “Me? No.” She studied me. “But your mother does, so be careful.” “What do you mean?” “I mean,” she said. “Don’t be so obvious about it. You can bend the rules, Clementine, just don’t break them.” I nodded, getting it. “Let’s change this taxing subject,” she said. “What would you like for snack today?”
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“Lobster rolls,” I said and grinned, thinking she always knew how to put a smile on my face. “And lobster rolls it is!” she said and poof! we had lobster rolls, the buns cooked to perfection and the lobster scrumptious. I picked one up and breathed in its fragrant, yummy scent. Ever since I’d been studying with Delia, she’d been “expanding my culinary tastes,” because she wanted me to have a “refined palate.” I didn’t care what her reasons were, all I know is that I got to eat some great—and sometimes exotic—food. So, each day she’d introduce me to a new food and she really knew what items were the best on the “menu.” It was our game and a way we connected. We both loved to eat and she loved to introduce me to great food. We’d had filet mignon, oysters Rockefeller—didn’t like—and eggs Benedict and roasted duck filet and, of course, my favorite, lobster rolls. Sometimes she threw something in she wanted me to try, like oh, so delicious tiramisu, or some curry. She really did manifest some really good food. For someone who lived somewhere where there were no great restaurants, I had tried the best food the world had to offer. Even octopus once, but only once. Oh, it was good being a witch who was being taught by one of the best witches there was. And with the first bite of the delicious lobster roll, the sting of losing the only car I’d ever loved began to wear off. As I took another bite, I asked, “So, it’s cool then, what I do?” “It is as long as you don’t overdo it,” she said with a smile. “You don’t want to draw too much attention to yourself.” “I’ll do my best.” So, with that, I got a little greenlight to do a little witchy work for myself without feeling the guilt my mother wanted me to feel. Too bad that it sometimes backfired. Of course, when it was exam time for my history correspondence class, I took full advantage. I could have passed the 84
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test myself, but I didn’t have the time to study. So, when the guidance counselor handed me the examination and put me at a desk in the corner of her office, I sat there and scribbled for a little while. Then she stood and excused herself. Once she was gone, I glanced over the test and said, “Complete,” then hurriedly put it on her desk without looking at it. When she came back in, she picked the test up, narrowed her eyes at me and said, “How did you do this?” “What do you mean?” I asked and felt panic. She showed me the test, my test, which looked exactly like the teachers’ test. It was typed in, not handwritten. Now I was up shit creek without the proverbial paddle. Shit! “This is the teachers’ test, with all the answers,” she told me, anger in her voice. “How did you get this?” I was horror-stricken. “Were you planning on using this, Clementine?” I began to stutter, “Uh, no, I, uh, me and the… It wasn’t me!” “You were cheating,” she said. “Weren’t you? You took this test off my desk, didn’t you?” “I didn’t! I didn’t take it, I swear!” “You are such a bright girl,” she scolded. “And here you cheated. You don’t have to cheat, that’s the thing. You’ve got the brains for this.” “I didn’t cheat, I swear,” I said and begged, “Please don’t tell my mother.” She told my mother who ripped me a new one. “I told you that you could never use magic like that! This is your first warning. You do it again, I will have your ass!” I didn’t doubt it. She never let up on me. Looking back, I know it was because she was realizing she would soon lose me to the world. She was scared; she was thinking about all those lonely 85
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nights when I wouldn’t occupy her home anymore. Maybe she was thinking about me getting kicked out of school. I don’t know. All I know was that she was always on my ass about something and it was beginning to piss me off. Even though she ironed it out with my guidance counselor so I would be allowed to retake the test, I was at the end of my rope with school. And with her. “What does it matter if I graduate high school?!” I yelled. “I’m not going to use any of this bullshit! I’m going to be fighting epic battles!” “Whoa,” she said and jerked her head. “Back up. What are you talking about?” “You know,” I said. “Your mother did.” She took a moment to digest this, then said, “I never knew that. I knew she’d go away for days at a time but what she was doing… Well, she never told me.” “She was a warrior,” I said. “Delia told me.” “Oh, Delia, of course,” she said. “That makes sense. She never told me anything about it but I’m sure she told Delia, didn’t she? Delia was her prized pupil and all I was… Well, I wasn’t gifted, that’s all. I couldn’t help it. It was the way I was born.” “Are you jealous of Delia?” “I am,” she said and nodded. “I really am jealous of her. She’s very gifted and she can help you with things I never could. Besides that, my mother shared something with her she couldn’t share with me.” “So, your mother didn’t want you to be a witch?” “Not really,” she said. “I’m not really gifted. I have power, but not like hers. Not like yours.” “But you didn’t want to be a witch, right?” I asked, getting slightly confused. “No, I did,” she said. “I just didn’t want to get killed for it.” 86
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My mouth fell open. “Mom!” “That’s what I’m telling you, Clemmy,” she said. “It’s not all fun and games and cheating on a test to get out of schoolwork. There’s some darkness to it. You need to be prepared for that.” “I’m getting prepared,” I said. “I concentrate on it.” “Well, you can now since that boy’s gone.” I groaned. “I am so glad she sent him off to school and you don’t see him everyday,” she said and went into the kitchen. “I am so glad that I don’t have to worry about that anymore.” I kept my mouth shut. She didn’t know, but Knute and I did see each other. Quite frequently.
Come To Me Well, Knute and I didn’t actually see each other. It was more like he came to me in my dreams. And in dreams, anything is possible. In my dreams, he and I were always together. It was a trick he’d taught me before he left. I had been crying the day before he left. He took me in his arms and said, “We won’t be far apart, I swear.” “You’re going to be in Louisiana!” I wailed. “Listen to me,” he said. “I will visit you every night.” I pulled back and stared at him. “How?” “In your dreams,” he said and pulled something out of his pocket. “Before you go to sleep every night, put this under your pillow.” It was a medallion. “What is it? What does it do?”
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“It’s a dream coin,” he said and grinned. “I stole it from my mom. She’d kill me if she knew.” “But what does it do?” “It connects us,” he said and pulled another one just like it out of his pocket. “Every night, I’ll put this under my pillow and then you put it under yours. As soon as we go to sleep, we can visit each other.” “Are you kidding?” I said. “Nope,” he said. “And it works?” “I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve never had a reason to try it.” I smiled at him. “So what do I do exactly?” “When you go to bed at night,” he said. “Slip the coin under your pillow and then say, ‘Come to me, come to me, come to me.’ Three times, Clementine, chant that three times and I’ll be doing the same thing. And then… Well, we’ll see if it works.” I wasn’t so sure a coin could do something like that, but I was willing to give it a try. The next day, he left and that night, I went to bed right at ten o’clock, as he’d instructed. I put the coin under my pillow, closed my eyes and chanted, “Come to me, come to me,
come to me.” And then I fell into a deep sleep. It seems as though I only slept for a minute or two. When I awoke, Knute was standing in front of me grinning. I smiled back and looked around. We were in a beautiful bedroom. The walls were paneled dark walnut and the furniture was a heavy, dark wood. In the middle of the room stood a huge bed covered with a red silk comforter. The moon was shining through a slit in the red velvet curtains. I turned to Knute. “It used to be my grandmother’s room,” he said. “You’re in my father’s house in Louisiana.” 88
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“Where’s your grandmother?” I asked. “She sleeps downstairs now,” he said and jerked his head towards the big bed. “Come on.” I squealed and ran to the bed. He came after me and fell down on top of me. As soon as we touched, we began to kiss. We kissed so hard, my jaw began to ache, but I couldn’t stop. I wanted more and more and never wanted it to end. “Please,” I begged. “Just do it.” “Shh,” he said. “Come on,” I said. “We’re just dreaming anyway.” “No,” he said and pulled back. “When we do it, I want it to be for real.” I bit my lip and stared at him. “Remember what we talked about that day in the car?” he asked. “No,” I said. “Yeah, you do,” he replied, shaking his head. “We were talking about masturbation.” I blushed. “Let’s don’t ruin the mood.” “This won’t ruin it,” he said and situated himself next to my body. “This will enhance it.” “If you insist,” I said. “I insist,” he said. “You haven’t been doing what I told you to do?” I shook my head as I blushed. “Let me show you,” he said and slipped his hand into my pajama bottoms. He whispered softly, “Just lie there and relax.” I closed my eyes as his hand began to move. It felt so good, what he was doing. I shut everything out of my mind and just went with the sensations he was giving me. I moaned, wanting more. 89
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“Now you move a little against my hand,” he said and began to lick my neck. I did that and it wasn’t long before he was kissing my exposed breast as he got me off. Soon, I was using his hand to bring me to orgasm and soon it came at me. It was the most divine feeling ever. I never wanted it to stop and when it did, I was sad to see it go. “Wow,” he said. “You are so fucking hot.” I grinned at him. “You want me to do you now?” His mouth dropped then he said quickly, “You know the answer to that.” I kissed him, slipping my hand into his pants. “Just tell me how.” “It’s all instinctual, baby,” he said. And it was. It was all instinctual and soon, I had him in the throes of ecstasy as I got him off. He was in the palm of my hand then and I loved that feeling, that feeling of having total control of him, of having total control of a man. When it was over, we held each other and talked. I asked him how school was going. “I’m not going,” he said. “What?” I asked. “Why not?” “I don’t see the need in it,” he said and shrugged. “Besides, my grandmother is going to start teaching me some new stuff now that I’m older.” “But don’t you need an education?” He laughed. “You sound like your mother. ‘Education, education, education.’ Fuck that shit. I’m a warlock.” “Well, if you’re not going, I’m not either,” I said. “Well, I don’t blame you,” he said and smiled at me. “Isn’t this great?” “It’s almost better than seeing you in person.” 90
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“I am in person,” he said. “But we’re dreaming.” “It’s almost like you’re an incubus,” I said. He laughed. “Only that you’re here and I’m not in your bedroom. You’re visiting me, not the other way around.” “You could visit me,” I said. “But my mom would kick you out.” “Even in your dreams you’re worried about your mother.” “I know,” I said. “I’m pathetic.” “Not really,” he said. “But you do need to kick your mother out of your bed.” “I’m working on it,” I said and slipped my arms around his neck. “It’s getting late, so if we’re going to…you know. We need to hurry.” He started to kiss me, but then pulled back. “You’re not going to fall in love with someone else while I’m gone, are you?” “No!” I exclaimed. “How could you say such a thing?” “I just want to make sure.” “You’re not going to, are you?” I asked. “I couldn’t if I wanted to,” he said. “I’m all yours, Witch Little.” “Good,” I said. “I like having you all to myself.” I pressed in to receive his kiss when all of a sudden, my mother shouted, “I mean it! Get up! Now!” I awoke with a start and stared at her wildly. She stared back at me from the foot of my bed. “What is it?” she asked. “Just a weird dream,” I said. She studied me. “Just a dream?” “Yeah,” I muttered. “Just a dream. Why?” “Oh, well,” she said. “You better get up now. You slept through your alarm clock.” I turned and stare at it. It was after seven and I usually got up right at six. Shit! I was gong to be late! 91
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I paused for a moment to think about my dream. It was definitely a very strange experience. It seemed so real but I know it wasn’t. When Knute called me later that day, he asked me what I’d dreamed about. “You,” I said. “What about you?” “You,” he said. “We had fun last night, didn’t we?” I giggled and said, “More than enough.” And we had fun just about every night, though whenever we would get close to consummating our love, he’d pull back and tell me it “wasn’t time.” Soon, I stopped begging him for it and just enjoyed what we could give each other, even if was just in our dreams.
The Cat Time moved so fast for me that year. Even though Knute was away and I longed for him, I barely had time to get depressed about it. Soon, it was December and my birthday. Knute came home for it and got me a wonderful present—a brand new car. It was nice little black sports car, a BMW. It was so cool and I could tell it cost a fortune. I fell in love with it the moment I laid eyes on it. Mom said, “You can’t have it.” “Why not?” I wailed. “I need a car! I have to bum rides from everyone! And you still make me take the bus to school. It’s embarrassing!” “You can’t take a car from a man!” she snapped. “Oh, please let her have it,” Knute said.
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She ignored him and stared at the car which had to be the coolest car ever. It was small, with two doors and, as Knute said, “A ragtop.” “Mom, it’s a convertible!” I moaned. “Please. I’ll pay him back for it!” Knute gave me a look and shook his head. She asked him, “Where do you get the money for something like this?” “My trust fund,” he said. “I came into it when I turned eighteen.” She studied him with suspicion. “She doesn’t need your car.” “Yes, I do,” I said. “I need this car.” “Come on, Mrs. Harmon.” “Don’t try to sweet-talk me,” she said. “Mom, please,” I said. “He can afford it. Right, Knute?” “Absolutely,” he said. “I want her to have it.” “Mom, please,” I begged. “Please, please, please!” She shook her head. “I don’t know. A car is a big responsibility. What about the insurance and the gas? Where are you going to get money for the gas?” “I still work at the drive-in,” I said. “Like I said, how are you going to get the money to run this thing? Insurance won’t be cheap on a car like this for a seventeenyear-old girl.” Knute raised his hand and said, “I can—” “No, you can’t,” Mom said. “I guess I can buy you some gas and insurance. We can afford that.” She turned to him. “But this doesn’t mean anything. You know what I’m saying?” “Of course,” he said. “It’s just a gift.” “What did your mother say about it?” she asked him. “She helped me pick it out,” he said, trying to hide his smile. 93
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“Well, okay, then,” she said, then turned to me with an embittered look. “I guess you can keep it, Clementine. Are you happy now?” “Yes!” I squealed and threw my arms around her, giving her a big hug. “Thank you, Mom. You’re the best.” Later, Knute said, “You would have thought she was the one who gave you the car and not me the way you reacted.” “Oh, I appreciate you,” I said. “I’m about to show you. Besides, I’m going to pay you back.” “How?” “I’ll figure something out,” I said. “Maybe I’ll get a second job.” He shook his head. “You don’t have time.” “Well, after I graduate—” “Clementine,” he said. “You definitely won’t have time after you graduate.” I pulled back and stared at him. “Why not?” He studied me for a long moment before hurriedly saying, “Nothing. I just think you’ll be doing other things with your time.” “Like what?” “I don’t know!” he said and sighed. “Let’s not talk about it.” “Okay,” I said. “But I will pay you back for the car.” “I don’t want you to. Please, let’s move on.” I rolled my eyes. “Fine.” He grinned and we kissed for a moment before he pulled back. “This sucks.” “I know,” I said. “The moment you turn eighteen, we’re there, right?” he asked. “Only another year,” I said and groaned a little, then smiled. “But then we’re there. We are so there.” “Good,” he said and pulled me to him, staring into my eyes. “I love you, Clementine.” 94
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He’d never said that to me before, but, then again, a guy doesn’t just buy you a car if he doesn’t love you, right? Well, maybe in some cases, but not in this one. He loved me and I felt it. I felt it from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head. I felt it so much that as soon as he said it, I felt my whole body glow, as if I’d just stepped into a warm room from a cold outside. “I love you, too,” I said and kissed his face. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” “Don’t ever forget that, Witch Little,” he said. “Don’t ever forget how you feel right now. Whatever happens to us in the future won’t matter if you remember this moment and this feeling. You’ll never want anyone else as long as you remember how much you love me now.” I stared at him, wondering why he was getting so deep—and perhaps a little paranoid—but then it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because I did love him. It should have mattered and it should have been my first warning. Instead, I misunderstood it and returned his love with as much as I possibly could. I gave so much of my love to him, I forgot to leave any for myself or anyone else. Time kept moving quickly and before I knew it, it was spring and I’d graduated high school. I hadn’t attempted to cheat on any more tests and I’d gotten through all my correspondence classes. While everyone else was crying at the graduation, sad to be leaving the “best” years of their lives, I was happy. And I was happy because I was free! Knute didn’t come for my graduation but he did send me a gift—a complete volume of spells. While they were nice—very old and leather-bound—and probably worth a fortune, I was a little 95
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taken aback. Spells? Why spells? But what else could he have given me? It would be hard to top the car. Now I had to figure out what I was going to do for the rest of my life. I asked Delia, “How much more stuff do I have to learn before I can do whatever it is I have to do?” “Clementine, you never stop learning, dear,” she said and tutted me, shaking her head. “Great,” I muttered. So, the lessons kept going. In addition to the lessons, I kept my job at the drive-in and was preparing to attend college in Knoxville in the fall. Mom was still insisting that I go to college. Sometimes I think she was so hung up on the whole college idea just because she wanted me to meet someone new. She didn’t say anything, of course, and it wouldn’t have done her any good. However, the idea of me and Knute never seemed to sit well with her. I never asked her about it. I should have asked her why she was so opposed to us, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t want anything to spoil my first love. I just figured it was her way of keeping control of me. But sometimes I wondered what kind of future Knute and I had. I was in Tennessee and he was in Louisiana. While we “saw” each other almost every night, his visits were becoming more and more infrequent as were his phone calls. Of course, when I confronted him on it, he’d just say he’d been studying really hard with his grandmother who had introduced him to some new people in New Orleans. He was working hard and why didn’t I appreciate that? Why was I always on him about everything? I just wanted to know why he wasn’t going to college now. I mean, why did I have to go if he didn’t? We had one too many blowups over the college issue. “It’s not necessary,” he growled over the phone. “How many times do I have to tell you that? And you don’t have to do it, either. 96
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Just tell your mother you’re not interested. And why should you be? It’s not like they’re going to teach you anything new.” “Oh, right,” I said. “I’ll just tell Mom I don’t want to go. Sure.” “Well, do whatever you like but stop riding my ass about it.” “I’m not riding your ass, you ass! So, fuck you!” I slammed the phone down and glared at it. Oh, God! My life sucked! It sucked so bad! It was an exercise in frustration! “Ah, bittersweet enemies.” I jumped and looked around. Where did that voice come from? And bittersweet enemies? What the hell did that mean? I was alone in the house. It was about noon and I was scheduled to go into work at one. Mom, as usual, was at work. Delia had cancelled our lesson due to a migraine. I had thought a nice, friendly talk with Knute before work would get me through the day. But then he’d acted like an asshole. I looked around the kitchen again but didn’t see anything—or anyone—so I started out. “You hear me?” the voice came again. I became very afraid. My whole body began to shake. I grabbed a knife from the butcher-block and brandished it in front of me. “Who’s there?” “What are you going to do with that?” it asked. “Slice and dice me? Cats don’t got much meat, baby.” “What?” I screeched. “Who are you? Where the fuck are you?!” “I’m under the table.” I willed myself not to look, but my curiosity got the best of me. I bent and looked under the table and to my utter amazement, there was a large, tiger-striped cat sitting there looking at me. “Boo!” he said.
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I screamed, dropped the knife and jumped back. I ran out of the kitchen and into my bedroom, slamming the door. What the hell was that? I was losing my mind! I was going insane! “You’re not losing your mind,” he called. “I’m real.” I looked around the room for something to kill the cat with. I didn’t have anything but a tennis racket. And why I had a tennis racket was beyond me. I didn’t play tennis nor did I know anyone who did. It was probably one of my “sale” items I had bought and then forgotten about. “Fuck!” I hissed under my breath and went to the phone on my nightstand and dialed Delia, praying she was awake. “Hello,” she mumbled sleepily. “There’s a fucking cat talking to me!” I screeched. “What?” she asked, almost breathlessly. “What did you say, Clementine?” “I said,” I said through clenched teeth. “That there is a fucking cat talking to me.” “Seriously?” she asked breathlessly. “Yeah!” She squealed with delight, “Your familiar!” “Excuse me?” “It’s your familiar,” she said and laughed. “Oh, Clementine, you’ve arrived, darling, you’ve arrived! You’ve gotten your familiar!” “My what?” I asked. “That cat is your familiar,” she said. “You’ve finally gotten your familiar!” “But I don’t want him.” “Hey, I heard that!” he yelled. “Oh, my God, he’s talking again, Delia,” I wailed. “So, go talk to him,” she said. 98
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“I don’t wanna.” “Why?” “Because he’s scaring the shit out of me.” “Clementine,” she said. “Please watch your language.” Duly noted. But I rolled my eyes anyway. She was always on me about my “coarse language.” However, it wasn’t my fault. Mom said I inherited my “truckers’ mouth” from my father who couldn’t finish a sentence without a cuss word. I was trying to tone it down, though, and be more refined. It was really hard to do that as cussing just came naturally to me. I sighed and said, “Fine, sorry. Now what am I supposed to do about that cat? This is kinda, sorta freaking me out.” “Oh, don’t be like that,” she said. “Besides, he’s not actually talking to you; you’re just reading each other’s thoughts.” Was she kidding? She had to be kidding! This cat could not be reading my thoughts! “I am talking to you,” he said. “He’s outside the door,” I whispered. “Where are you?” “In my bedroom,” I said. “Ask him what his name is.” “Are you kidding me?” I hissed. “Ask him.” “Uh…” I called, then stopped. Then I shook it off, and said, “Uh, Cat, what’s your name?” “Oh, please,” he said and growled. “He won’t tell me,” I said. “Well, he has to have a name,” she said. “Listen, just go talk to him.” “About what?” “I don’t know,” she said. “The weather, your problems.” 99
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“What is his purpose?” “Hey!” he yelled. “I am a cat and I can’t open doors! It’s rude to talk about someone when they’re not in the room.” “His purpose?” Delia said. “He was just sent to help you through, that’s all.” “Through what?” “Life,” she said. “Do you have a familiar?” “I did when I was younger,” she said. “He passed away.” “Don’t you get a new one?” “No. I mean, you can, if you need one. I had a parrot and he was really irritating. After him, I never wanted another one and even refused them when they showed up.” “So I can refuse him?” “Yes, but you shouldn’t, at least not right now,” she said. “You need him.” “Why do I need him? He’s a cat!” “He’s a soul in a cat’s body, that’s all,” she said. “He can really help you.” “I’m waiting!” he hollered. “Well, what do I do?” I asked. “Just go talk to him and ask him why he’s there.” I took a breath. “Okay, I can do that.” “You alright?” she asked. “Yeah,” I said. “Good,” she said. “Call me if you need anything.” “Will do,” I said. “Bye.” “Bye.” We hung up.
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I looked around my bedroom, then drew in a breath, then exhaled. I walked over to the door and opened it. The cat was sitting on the other side staring at me with a look of consternation. “What do you want?” I asked. He breezed by me and ran to the bed and jumped up on it. I sneezed. “Oh, great,” he said. “You have a cat allergy.” “I’ve never had a cat,” I said. “I don’t much like them myself,” he said. I just stared at him. Then I sneezed again. “Yeah, I’m a cat, I get that,” he said. “But I must have done something awful for them to turn me into one.” “Oh,” I said, not knowing what to say. “So,” he said and lay back on the bed. “What’s your name?” “You don’t know my name?” “I do,” he said. “I just wanted to make sure I called you the right thing. Is it Clementine or Clemmy or just Clem? Or do you prefer Miss Harmon?” “Clementine is fine,” I said. “Who sent you?” “What does that matter?” he asked. “I just want to know why they sent you and who they are.” “Beats the hell out of me,” he said, eying me. “You’re really forthcoming, aren’t you?” I asked. He shrugged. I gave it one more try, feeling very harried, “So, are you going to tell me why you’re here or not?” “I don’t have a purpose,” he said. “That’s all bullshit anyway.” “So what’s the use in having you?” “Gee, thanks,” he said and sat up. “Look, I don’t like being here anymore than you want me here, okay? I just have to do my job, that’s all.” 101
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“And what is your job?” I asked and sneezed, yet again. “Bless you,” he said. “Are you going to answer my question or not?” “I can’t,” he replied. “I’m just playing it by ear.” I glanced at my alarm clock. It was almost time for me to go to work. I went to my closet and pulled out my work uniform and said, “Listen, I don’t have time for this. I have to go to work.” “Okay,” he said. “No,” I said. “You have to leave. You can’t stay here.” “I’m a cat! What am I going to do? Eat all your tuna?” “I don’t eat tuna,” I said. “Well, you better start ’cause that’s what I like.” I shook my head and said, “I’m going to work now. You go outside.” “I am not going outside. I’m an indoor cat.” “You’re… You’re…” I stopped, feeling the frustration. Then I sneezed again. “Bless you,” he said. “You have to go outside,” I said. “My mom will freak if there’s an animal in the house.” He looked around and said dryly, “Oh, yeah, wouldn’t want to mess this place up.” “Go to hell,” I said and picked him up. “What the fuck are you doing?” he hissed. “The claws are about to come out, young lady!” I didn’t reply and walked him to the front door and tossed him out. He screeched before he landed on the front porch. Then I slammed the door, locked it and went back to my bedroom and got ready for work. “That color does nothing for you.”
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I yelped and turned. The thing was sitting on my bed again. “What are you doing?!” “We have to talk,” he said. “I… I…” I said and suddenly began to panic. “I have to go!” “Wait!” But I was gone.
After work, I jumped in my car and headed home. I wasn’t paying attention to anything because I was so tired, but then I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. And then I sneezed. “Hey, gorgeous,” the cat said. I jumped and stared at the cat, sprawled out on my passenger seat. “What are you doing?!” “We have to get this sorted, darling,” he said. “You are really beginning to freak me out, cat,” I said. “Why are you in my car?” “Because I am,” he said. “Now, we have to talk.” “About what?” “About you,” he said. “That ought to please you.” I shook my head. “Listen, I don’t need you. I don’t know why they—whoever they may be—sent you, but I don’t need you.” “You don’t know what you need,” he said. “And I suppose you do?” “I don’t,” he said. “Look, if you just chill a little, we can get along great until you don’t need me or whatever. But for now, I have to stay with you.” “Even when I’m driving?” “No,” he said. “I just did this to freak you out.” I eyed him out of the corner of my eye. “I’m here, so get over it,” he said. 103
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“You get over it,” I replied. “No, you get over it.” “You first,” I snapped then sneezed. “You second.” I gritted my teeth. “Just shut up.” “You shut up.” This was going to be tough. When I got home, he followed me into the house. Mom was sitting on the couch watching her favorite TV show. She eyed the cat, then me. “You know you can’t have a cat,” she said, then sneezed. “He’s my familiar.” “They sent a cat?” she asked and shook her head. “Nice to meet you too,” he said. “You know about familiars?” I asked. “Well, yeah,” she said. “My mother had all kinds of those. I hated them, they were all over the house, always smarting off, messing things up, leaving hair and feces all over the place.” He looked at her and said dryly, “Oh, we’re going to get along real good.” She smiled. “I like his attitude.” “I’m glad someone does,” I said then sneezed. “No, I do,” she said and sneezed again. “For God’s sake!” he exclaimed and threw his paws into the air. We stared at him, not getting what he was doing, then I felt the allergy lift. I glanced at my mother. Her eyes were no longer watering, either. “Did you just…?” I asked. “I did,” he said. “I hate all this sneezing.” “Oh, I do feel better,” Mom said.
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“Well, thanks,” I told him. “Now, if you two will excuse me, I’m going to bed.” “Night,” she called. He followed me but I slammed my bedroom door in his face. He screeched and I got ready for bed. Then I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. After I came out, I saw that he was back on my bed. I shook my head, tossed him off the bed and said, “Off!” He flew off the bed, then growled under his breath. “It’s not right how you’re treating me.” “This isn’t right either.” “Better than getting thrown across the room.” I glared at him and put the dream coin under my pillow. “If you’re to stay in here with me, you have to stay off the bed.” “Where the hell am I supposed to sleep?” “I don’t care,” I said and laid back. “I’m going to sleep.” “I see that.” I didn’t answer and closed my eyes. It seemed to take forever before I feel asleep. I hadn’t talked with Knute since that afternoon and we never hung up angry at each other. As soon as I fell asleep, he grabbed my arm and pulled me through a crowd. “Where are we?” I yelled above the crowd. “New Orleans, in the French Quarter,” he said and kept pulling me. “Why can’t I ever say where we’re going to meet?” I asked. “Shh,” he said. “Knute!” I snapped. “I asked you a question.” “That’s just the way it is,” he said. “I’m the one who gave you the coin, remember? Listen, we don’t have time for this right now.” I allowed him to pull me to an alley and there he pushed me up against a wall and kissed me. After our lips met, all my anger and 105
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frustration just melted away. I didn’t care about anything at that moment. We began to make out and I didn’t care who saw us. But no one paid us any attention as weren’t really there. “I’m coming home to you in two weeks,” he said and pulled away. “I can’t take it anymore.” I nodded. “Let’s don’t see each other for two weeks,” he said. “Knute!” “Shh, listen,” he said. “Let’s let it build, baby. When we see each other, we’ll explode.” “But I’m not eighteen yet.” “You’re old enough,” he said. “I’m tired of waiting, aren’t you?” “Yeah,” I said. “That’s why were fighting,” he said. “If we don’t do it soon, we won’t be able to stand each other.” “We could do it here.” “No,” he said. “When we do it for the first time, it’s going to be for real. In the meanwhile, we can do this.” And then he started kissing me passionately. We kissed the night away. When I awoke the next morning, I found the cat curled up sleeping on my head. He woke and yawned lazily before saying, “So where have you been?” That just really pissed me off, so I said, “Off!” He started to fly off of me but somehow managed to counter the spell and landed on his feet. He looked up at me with a smirk. “You’re going to have to stop doing that. Someone might think you’re cruel to animals.” I considered that and said, “Then don’t sleep on my head and stay out of my way.” “You’ve got a bad attitude.” “You don’t know the half of it,” I said and got out of bed. 106
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The Purpose Delia wanted to talk to the cat, so I took him over to see her. As soon as she saw him, she said, “Hello, I’m Delia.” “I know, Delia,” he said and suddenly stood up on his heels and turned into a man—a man wearing clothes circa 1922. He looked very dapper. Even so, I was freaked out, as was Delia. We both screamed and jumped back. Then Delia stepped in closer to him and said, “Why, it’s Alden! And you’re young!” “Delia,” he said and nodded. “How have you been?” “Fine,” she replied, then leaned over so they could kiss hello. “And you?” “Wait a minute,” I said, cutting in. “You two know each other?” “I knew him when he was human and much older,” she said, then turned to him. “I didn’t connect it yesterday when Clementine told me you’d arrived. I didn’t realize it was you, Alden you… You know.” “Kind of died,” he said. “I was really old, though.” “He was human?” I asked. Alden gave me a look of consternation. “Of course, I was human, long before you were.” “What does that mean?” He shrugged. “Wait,” I said. “Why did you come as a cat and not as a human?” “It doesn’t matter,” he said and waved me off. “What does that mean?” I asked again, shaking my head.
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“It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just the way it works,” Delia said and sat down at the kitchen table. “So, Alden, what’s going on?” He glanced at me, then at her and said, “Well, we have a situation.” “Really?” she asked and got really excited. He nodded. “I’m supposed to protect Clementine.” “Protect me?” I said. “You’re a cat. What can you do?” “He’s not just a cat, Clementine,” she said. “He’s a very powerful witch.” “Obviously,” I said. “He can cure allergies.” Delia eyed me and nodded slightly. “I can do more than that, honey,” he said dryly. “Yes, he can,” Delia said. “Like I said, he’s a very powerful witch.” “Okay, I get it,” I said, “You’re a powerful witch.” “Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer warlock,” he said. “But, yes. Someone got wind that Clementine’s granddaughter was coming into her powers.” Clementine’s granddaughter? What was he talking about? I thought for a moment, then realized he was talking about my grandmother. Oh. I stared at him. “Are there people that want to hurt me or something?” “Not hurt,” he said. “But they would like to bind your powers.” “Oh.” “Which would, in fact, bind you—physically, I mean. And that would probably hurt.” “Seriously?!” I exclaimed. “Calm down,” Delia said and shook her head at me. “It’s just the usual hubbub of things that get irritated whenever they learn someone has more power than them. Because your grandmother 108
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was so well known, and so powerful, some others get a little frightened, that’s all. And they want to do harm. It’s fear, as usual, that makes everyone crazy.” “And paranoid,” Alden said. “So, anyway, that’s why I’m here.” “So what’s the plan?” Delia asked. “The plan is to keep her under wraps,” he said. “I’ve already done a protection spell and covered this whole area so they can’t see it. Which means, of course, she can’t leave for a while and no one can come in.” “But I’m supposed to go to college in the fall,” I said, then thought about Knute’s and my plan to meet in two weeks. “No, you’re not,” Delia said. “You can’t risk it.” “But what about Knute?” I said. “Isn’t he supposed to visit soon?” “Not that I’m aware of,” she said and shook her head. “Have you spoken to him?” Alden leaned back and eyed me. “Well, yeah, we talk on the phone everyday,” I said. “He mentioned that he might come home in a couple of weeks.” Alden coughed, saying something under his breath that sounded like “liar.” I gave him a dirty look. “Well, he’ll just have to wait,” Delia said. Great, more waiting. By the time I was allowed to have sex, I’d be an old woman and wouldn’t want it anymore. Damn it! “So, you’ve done a protection spell?” she said. “I have,” he said. “No one ever even realized that Glenda had a child until someone started running their mouths about it. Now they all want to dis-empower her. It’s almost quite funny.” “Wait a minute,” I said. “Why are we listening to this cat? He’s a smartass and he could be lying.”
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“I know him,” Delia said. “Well, I knew him when he was human and he was a fantastic guy.” I wasn’t so sure about that. “Oh,” Delia said. “I have something for you.” “Tuna?” Alden asked. “Why…no, not tuna,” she said and stood. “It’s a spell book I came across. Anyway, I’ll be right back.” I watched her go and sighed. Life just kept getting better being a witch. “By the way,” Alden said. “I’ll be wanting that dream coin. You know, we can’t have anyone coming in and out like that. Or, rather, we can’t have you going in and out. I have to keep you safe. It’s my job.” I could have killed him. Mostly Alden just slept. For a familiar, he wasn’t much of one. He stayed in cat form most of the time at first and basically slept and groomed himself. But then again, he told me he really wasn’t my familiar. In fact, he was more or less my protector, which seemed absurd because anytime I stumped my toe or got a paper cut or any bodily harm, he’d giggle with glee at my pain. “You’re a sadist,” I told him one day. “Big word for such a short person,” he said. “Sadist.” I glared at him. I hated being called out on being short. And by him? He was a cat most of the time! He gave me a wicked grin, loving that he got to me. I could have kicked him. I didn’t. But I could have. And the kicker was, I didn’t even get to quit my crappy job as a car-hop. It killed me when Alden told me that I didn’t have to 110
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worry about quitting. That really gripped me. I had thought since I couldn’t leave the area for a while, that might mean I could at least quit my job, but Alden assured me that, “They can’t see you. It’s okay to travel within this vicinity. You should thank me for that, too. Most times, we just protect the house or what-have-you. Your grandfather was very smart to have picked this area. You know, because of the mountains. And, besides, who would want to come here? There’s nothing here. Just a grocery and what—two?—red lights? Not the sort of place many witches would look for, if you get my meaning.” I just growled at him. He chuckled to himself. “Yeah, this is definitely a blink and you’ll miss it kind of place.” Damn it! Oh, no, I had to keep my job. Why not? I wasn’t doing anything else. I certainly wasn’t going to college or getting a better job or wrapping myself up with my boyfriend. Oh, and no more trips out of town to go to the mall. My wardrobe officially got killed. At least I had some great pieces to tide me over until this thing was done. But when that would be was anyone’s guess. I was stuck and I knew it. And it killed me. Thank God for the internet, though all I got to do was basically window shop because, of course, I didn’t have a credit card and Mom said hers was off limits. It just kept getting better. My mother, of course, thought it was a good idea that I keep my job, too. And she loved the idea that Knute couldn’t come to visit. I just couldn’t win with these people. Or cats. And I didn’t even get to talk to Knute after that, which killed me even more. He was supposed to come home and then it was off. I just knew that by the time we’d get to see each other again, I’d be old and gray and ugly. He’d probably wonder what he saw in me to begin with. I also began to think what I had with Knute was 111
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nothing more than a dream, something that hadn’t happened, only a fantasy I’d concocted in my head in order to get through the rough times. I only had a few pictures of him and whenever I had the chance, I’d go to Delia’s and stare at her family photo album. As I pored over pictures of Knute as a small child riding his pony and as a teenaged soccer player, I’d bawl my eyes out. He was so beautiful and I wanted him so much it made me physically sick. Whenever I would do this, Delia would sit beside me and tell me that Knute “still thought of me” and “still loved me.” She said, “This won’t change his feelings, Clementine.” “Why can’t I at least talk to him on the phone?” I asked. She studied my face before saying, “Not right now, sweetie. Okay? Just trust me. And trust that Knute still loves and cares for you. As I said, his feelings won’t change.” “Yes, they will,” I wailed. “What did I ever do to deserve this?” “Shh,” she said. “All you did was be born into this. It’s a gift, darling, one day you will understand that. One day, you’ll know this was for the best.” “For the best?” I said and shook my head. “My life sucks! I’m going to be an old woman before I see him again and he won’t want me anymore!” “He’ll always want you,” she said. “And just think, you’ll both be so much more mature and know how to enjoy the things you can give each other.” “But I’ve not done anything to deserve this,” I said and wiped my eyes. “What have I done to deserve this? It’s not fair!” “Life isn’t fair,” she said softly. “I wish it were, but it just isn’t.” I nodded, coming down from my angsty depression. “I know. I get it. I just have to get through this. It just seems that my whole life is taken up by this thing. Is it worth it?” “Oh, it is,” she said. “It is definitely worth it.” 112
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I nodded and stared at her, realizing that it was odd that I could talk about this stuff with my boyfriend’s mother but I couldn’t even bring it up to my own. “It’s okay,” she said and kissed my temple. “We’re more like sisters than we will ever be like mother and daughter-in-law.” She was right about that, but whenever I’d think about it, I’d get the heebie-jeebies. So I made a vow to never break down in front of her again. And I didn’t. On the upside, Alden and my mother took a liking to each other and would while the time away talking about the “old” days. Even though Alden was much, much older than my mother, they seemed to have a lot in common. Maybe he reminded her of my grandfather or something. They were like an old odd couple. And it was strange to see my mother having these intense, intelligent conversations with a cat, even if he had been some kind of great witch in his time. This went on for three years.
Restless Three years. Three years of my life living in Webster and dying to get out. Three years of not talking to Knute for fear of exposing my identity. I was ready just to do battle with whomever it was that wanted to do me harm and just get it over with. I so wanted to kick their asses for putting me in this predicament. Who the hell did they think they were? In these three years, I was only allowed to go back and forth to work—of course—and to see my friends on occasion. And that’s pretty much all I did. I was so bored, I began to feel like I was becoming demented. And I regretted graduating
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high school a year early. What for? At least I would have had something to do. And I could have gone to prom—stag, of course. But maybe I could have gotten a life-size cutout of Knute and taken it with me. That way, the whole town would know how pathetic I felt. Oh, it was frustrating. One day, I got so frustrated, I was about scream. “I can’t take this anymore! You have to let me out sometime! I’m twenty years old now! I shouldn’t be kept up like some wild animal.” “You’ll be out soon enough,” Alden said. “I am in hell!” I roared. “Oh, no, you’re not,” he said. “Hell is a lot harder than this.” “How would you know?” “I’ve heard stories, believe me,” he said and nodded knowingly. I groaned in frustration, then sat down on the couch in a huff, putting my face in my hands. He came up to me and put a paw on my leg. “It won’t be much longer until you and your loverboy are reunited,” he said “Then you can start sparking.” “Sparking?” I asked, then shook my head. “Nevermind. How much longer?” “Sooner than later,” he said, then turned into a human. I shook my head. “I never get used to that.” “Oh, you will,” he said and sat beside me. “Why do these people have this much power anyway?” I asked. “Why can they make me sequester myself like this?” “It’s not just a few people,” he said. “It’s a lot of people. And a few demons, which I wouldn’t worry too much about.” “They suck.” “Yes, they do,” he said. “You have to keep in mind that anybody who does anything good or is special in some way will 114
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always have unnamed enemies who are trying to stop them. It’s nothing more than that base human emotion called jealousy.” “Why would they want to hurt me because they’re jealous?” “Jealousy makes some people really crazy and want to hurt others,” he said. “And they’re spiteful assholes, too, It’s just a precaution, really, because of what happened to your grandmother.” I sat up. “What do you mean?” He stared at me. “You know what happened to her, right?” “It was an old doctor,” I said. “He was upset that she was helping people.” He studied me before saying, “He was an old witch doctor, a warlock, really, and he was pissed off that your grandmother was more powerful than he could ever imagine being. Remember I told you about the jealously thing? That’s was jealousy in action. But, if he hadn’t taken her by surprise, it would have been him and not her.” I was stunned. “Seriously?” He nodded. “Seriously.” “So, what did he do to her?” “He attacked her with some dark magic,” he said. “It paralyzed her from head to toe. She was in the woods behind her house when it happened and couldn’t move. No one knew she was out there. They looked for her, of course, but couldn’t find her.” “You’re kidding?” “No,” he said. “It was awful, a very powerful spell. No one could see her or tell she was there. It was like she was invisible.” “How did she die?” “She was diabetic,” he said. “Her insulin got low and then… In an odd way, she died of natural causes. And, so, the bastard got
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away with it. I mean, the law wasn’t even called in. It just looked like she had gotten sick and died out in the woods.” “Oh, God,” I said. “That’s awful.” “It was,” he said. “But we got that old son of a bitch. You don’t have to worry about him. He’s long gone. He can’t come back and bother anybody.” “You killed him?” “No, we didn’t kill him,” he said, laughing. “What do you think we are? Barbarians?” “Then what did you do?” “A spell that made him think he was insane for a short while,” he said. “He was locked up shortly thereafter in an asylum, which actually did make him go crazy. Funny how that works, isn’t it?” “So, he could come back out?” “He would be over ninety years old now,” he said. “If he came back out, he would too old to do anything. Besides that, he came to us and admitted it. He repented, so to speak.” “What made him do that to my grandmother?” “The same thing that makes everyone mean and do things they wouldn’t normally do,” he said. “And what’s that?” “Jealousy. Like I said.” I stared at him. “Get used to it, Clementine,” he said. “You are very powerful and you will always have jealousy from others to contend with. Jealousy is a very base, vile emotion. It brings out the absolute worst in people.” “Why?” “Because they’re weak,” he said. “Don’t ever be weak, Clementine. Don’t ever give into the emotion. And you’ll be fine.” I wasn’t so sure about that, though I did heed his words. 116
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As the time passed, my obsession with Knute grew. I thought that it might wane in those three years that we were separated but the time did little to dampen my passion for him, even though there were plenty of new young men in my life. It seemed as though I couldn’t go anywhere without running into someone new. These boys were cute and they’d follow me around the grocery store or to the drive-in. They’d beg me to go out with them. They were annoying, to say the least. There was one boy in particular that really liked me. He was very handsome and worked at the grocery store. Whenever I’d go in, he’d say, “Is this the day you’ll go out with me?” and I’d always reply, “No, I have a boyfriend.” He’d laugh and said, “Well, maybe next time.” After a while, I got used to his begging and even looked forward to seeing him. But then one day, he was gone. I asked the manager where he was and he said, “That boy left a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know where he went.” That’s when I realized I’d just missed out on an opportunity. What if I didn’t have many of those left? But my heart belonged to Knute. I don’t think I could have gone out with anyone, let alone kissed someone else. After I celebrated my twenty-first birthday, I began to grow restless. I began to wander at night alone into the darkness, into the woods behind our house. I went almost nightly. I went when the leaves were turning in the fall. I went when it was cold during the winter. I went when it was wet and rainy during the spring. I went when it was hot and humid during the summer. And I went with no fear. I went because something told me to go. It was the only place I could roam freely and get some of my stir-crazies out. The things that go bump in the night didn’t frighten me. I could hear all the wild animals and their wild sounds. I didn’t look 117
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away from them; instead I began to connect with them and their wildness. They made something in me come up and before long, I was able to will myself up into the trees with them to observe their behavior. It was the coolest thing ever. There I’d be, on the ground, and then I’d think, “Up,” and into the tree I’d go, landing on a big, thick branch. On one of my walks, I came a across a huge brown rattlesnake. It was curled up asleep. When I was a child, I was scared to death of those things, but now they didn’t bother me. I stopped and stared at it for a long time, wondering what I could do about it. As I stood there, one lazy eye of the snake opened and he stared at me and began to uncurl himself. As he did so, my body became rigid as he slithered towards me. I stood my ground and was about to command him to leave when he stopped and stared up at me. “We do not hurt each other,” I said. He continued to stare at me, as if he wanted me to recognize him. I’d had animals do this before, but never snakes. But snakes were different from deer or raccoons or birds. He might be trying to trick me so he could bite me. I didn’t trust snakes—never have, never will. “We do not hurt each other,” I repeated. “Now go. Go.” He went. And I went back to wandering the woods, coming back to the creek and sitting beside it. There was something about the creek that was calling me. Then I realized what it was. It was a root, ginseng, buried beneath the surface. I dug it up and stared at it, wondering what had possessed me to do so. “It heals the soul,” Alden said behind me. I turned to stare at him. He walked up and sat down next to me. “I see that your wildness is starting to come out.” 118
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“What does that mean?” I asked and breathed in the humid air. Summer would be almost over and I still hadn’t seen Knute. I was beginning to accept the fact that I might not ever see him again. And that was pissing me off. “You’re older now,” he said. “You’re ready to see the world. And to test your powers.” I looked away from him and swallowed hard. “Don’t be afraid of your power, Clementine,” he said. “You will always be able to control it. You’ve been taught well.” I nodded and stared at the root, then threw it into the creek. He studied me for a moment before saying, “You’ve learned just about everything Delia needed to teach you. But as I look at you now, I realize she didn’t need to teach you anything, did she? You already knew it all, like with the ginseng.” “I don’t know,” I said. “Yes, you do,” he said. “You’ve been humoring Delia for some time, haven’t you?” Actually, I had. The lessons at first had been exciting but as they progressed, they went from less magic to more theory about magic, which bored me to tears. And, as she would teach me, I would know what she was about to say before she said it. It was like there was this huge file in my head which already contained all of this stuff and all she was doing was reminding me of it. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Alden,” I said. “You’re a natural. The answers will come soon,” he said. “You always say stupid stuff like that to me!” I said, getting irritated. “All of you say this wishy-washy shit to me like it’s going to pacify me or something!” “We’re certainly not trying to pacify you,” he snapped. “But you have to realize when you have a power like yours, you also need direction.” 119
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I rolled my eyes. “Power, power, power! What power? I can dig up ginseng? Wow! What power I have! I can command a stupid snake to leave me alone! Wow! I can jump into a tree! Cool! But I can’t see my boyfriend and I have to hide from stupid people who ‘wish to do me harm’ just so I can protect this immense power that I’m, quite frankly, beginning to doubt is even there.” He stared at me and chuckled softly. “You have no idea, do you?” “What are you talking about? And don’t riddle me this, either!” He leaned over and touched my arm. “One day, you will come into your real power, the same power your grandmother had and on that day, my love, your life will make complete sense.” “Whatever,” I hissed. He stood and started off, then stopped. “Stop being such a brat, Clementine, and accept your gift for what it is.” “And what is it?!” I yelled. “It’s a gift,” he hissed and pranced off. “Bastard!” I yelled after him and huffed. “Clementine,” a voice called. “Go to hell, Alden!” I yelled and got up and went back to the house. Since I was already in my pajamas, I just got back into bed and covered my face with my pillow and then I began to cry and feel sorry for myself. “Clementine…” “Shut up, Alden!” I hissed, trying not to wake my mother. “Clementine…” the voice called. I sat up, looked around, then squeezed my eyes shut. That voice wasn’t Alden’s. That voice was… Was it? Was it his voice? I pushed everything out of my mind and concentrated on that voice. “Clementine…” he called. “Witch Little, where are you?”
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I almost cried. I almost cried with relief and excitement. I almost wanted to jump and run, scared that I might be hallucinating. “Clementine…” “Knute,” I breathed. “Where are you?” “Come to me,” he said. “Come to me through the woods.” I started to get up, then I heard something. My mother was coming towards my room. I lay back down and pulled the covers up over me and pretended to be asleep. The door creaked as she opened it, then I felt her glance over at me. I laid still and prayed she’d go back to bed. I heard her sigh, then quietly close the door. She didn’t like me going out at night with all those “critters” around. She told me to stop doing it, to ignore the feelings of restlessness. I lied and told her I had. After I heard her bedroom door shut, I got up and began to creep out of the house. But then I knew she was still awake. So, I went to her bedroom door and whispered, “Sleep.” In a moment, I heard deep, heavy breathing. I looked around for Alden, but he was nowhere in sight. Most nights, his animal instinct went into overdrive and he went out on the prowl. He was probably still out. Good. “Witch Little…” “I’m coming,” I whispered and made my way out of the house. Once I closed the front door softly, I began to run. I ran towards the creek, flying over it, barely touching it. I ran with everything in me towards that voice that was guiding me to him. I ran up the hill and jumped over rocks and fallen trees. I ran and ran and ran until I found him. And then, there he was. He was standing beside the fallen tree where we’d shared our first kiss. He was waiting on me. He was the 121
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same, he looked exactly the same. He was tall and blond and beautiful. And he wanted me. I could see it in his eyes. I could see the passion in his eyes because it was the same as what I felt. I didn’t ask how he had gotten there or why he’d come, not because I didn’t care, but because I knew that someday he would appear like this. I didn’t ask what took him so long to get there, either. I didn’t care because all that mattered in that moment was the he was there; he’d finally came to me and that meant he still thought of me and that he still loved me. Knowing that made everything else seem completely and totally irrelevant. Everything seemed to fall away from me then. All of the anxiety and my bitchiness and my fear went away as if it’d never been there before. There was no more trepidation nor was there any longing. There was nothing inside of me but warmth and happiness. Because, once he took a step towards me, everything dissolved and meant no more. Without a word, he came to me and without a word, I went to him. We came together as two long-lost lovers. There was no hesitation. We’d both waited long enough to verify our love. There was no longer a need to justify anything anymore. He crushed into my body and I crushed into his. I couldn’t get him close enough to me. I didn’t want him to leave me for a second. I had to have him; I had to have his lips on top of mine, kissing me. And they were; his lips were kissing me, taking me, sending me over the edge. I breathed hard as we kissed. It seemed as if we’d never parted and our passion for each other had not left us. His hands began to explore my body in a way they never had. It wasn’t like in our dreams, either. It was more real and more obsessive. It was a hard touch, like he couldn’t get enough, like he wanted to touch me so
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he could really feel me, all that was me, like he wanted to make sure I was real. It was a good feeling he was giving me. He began to undress me, pulling my t-shirt off until I stood half-naked in front of him. Before he devoured me with his mouth and lips, he devoured me with his eyes. His eyes didn’t leave my body for a long time and, as he drank it in, I shivered from his intense gaze. I felt so wanted and so loved. I felt like I finally belonged to him. And then the kisses came. They were soft kisses at first, along my chest, at my neck, below my ear. His lips nibbled every part of me as if they couldn’t get enough. His hands kept busy too, grabbing at my breasts, squeezing them, taking them into his big hands and crushing them. I moaned as he began to take total and utter control of me and couldn’t get enough. I wanted to be kissed and held and worshipped, all at the same time. I began to tug at his clothes, wanting them off, wanting to feel his naked skin next to mine. Soon enough, his shirt was off and I pressed my face into his chest, breathing in his good smell. “How I’ve missed you,” he murmured, then took my head in his hand, staring deeply into my eyes. “I’ve missed you so much.” “I’ve missed you, too,” I said breathlessly. “Oh, baby,” he moaned. “I love you.” “I love you, too,” I moaned back and kissed him hard. “Oh, Knute, do it, do it to me.” “Shh,” he said and began to lick at my neck. “Shh, baby.” I grabbed his hand and pushed it between my legs. “No, I’m sick of waiting. Do it.” He stared at me and nodded. Then he covered my eyes with his hand. When he took his hand off, we were on a blanket, a soft blanket in front of the tree. And he was over me, bending down into me, kissing me hard and long. I couldn’t get enough and pulled 123
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him down onto me, parting my legs so he could settle between them. “Are you sure?” he whispered. “I’ve been sure,” I said. “Since the day we met, I have wanted this.” “Me too,” he whispered and put his hand between my legs. I moaned and began to move against his hand. He chuckled and said, “You’ve been practicing.” “Shh,” I said. “Just do it.” He kissed me, then pulled back and kissed his way down my chest, between my breasts and between my legs. He pulled my pajama bottoms off and then my panties. And then I was totally naked beneath him. He swept his hand between my legs before pushing them open with his knee, then he bent down and placed his mouth there, down there, right on me, down there. I moaned and arched away from the ground. He held me down and began to eat at me, softly and slowly licking at me. He kept at it until I was writhing and wanted more and more. And then, I came, exploding light and air inside of me. I came so hard and fast, I was shaking, and as I came, he climbed on top of me and settled between my legs. I pulled his lips to mine, tasting myself, and began to kiss him hard. My legs opened wider and my hand went down his back and squeezed his ass. He had such a nice ass I wanted to slap it. So I did. That made him laugh and then I felt it, for the first time, I felt his hard member slowly sliding into me. I gasped at first because I thought it was going to be too much and I wouldn’t be able to handle it. It did hurt, but it wasn’t bad enough for me to call it off. In fact, I don’t think an army could have pulled us apart at that instant.
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He moaned as he pushed himself all the way in. I moaned and we began to move with each other. He was making love to me now, fucking me like I’d always wanted; how I’d always dreamed he would. Soon, there was nothing in the world but me and him and us. Nothing mattered and nothing ever would as he took me. He was slow and almost methodical which allowed me to move more and more until I couldn’t stop moving and I had to come. I had to come and the orgasm came at me, took over and shot through my body like lightning. As I came, I threw my head back and a scream of pure ecstasy erupted from my lips. It was almost too much and I thought I was going explode with passion. As I came back down, Knute was coming himself. He pumped into me like a madman, like he couldn’t get enough. I held onto him and kissed him as he came. A loud, long moan came out of his mouth before he fell on my chest, breathing heavily. When he caught his breath, we began to kiss again. We couldn’t stop kissing; we couldn’t get enough of each other. It was like we were making up for lost time and nothing was going to stop us. But then I heard a rattle. Knute and I slowly pulled apart to see the timber rattler I’d seen earlier. He was curled up beside our blanket. A scream came out of my mouth. “Shh,” he said and put his hand over my mouth. “It’s just a snake.” I stared at the snake. It seemed as though he was looking at me, really looking at me, not like he’d been looking earlier. It was as though he came to me to tell me something but didn’t know how. It scared me, to say the least. And it was creeping me out. “Get rid of it!”
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Knute got up and grabbed the snake under the chin and held him out. He was over seven feet long. “Good grief! Look how big this bastard is!” I shivered and grabbed the blanket, pulling it around me. “Just get rid of him.” “He’s harmless,” he said. “Whatever,” I replied. “Please, Knute, get rid of him. “Why?” he asked and stared at me. “There’s just something about them I don’t trust,” I said and eyed the snake. “Don’t be like that,” he said and sat the snake back down, then said, “Leave.” The snake paused, stared at me again, then slithered hurriedly away. “Ugh,” I said and shuddered. “Ugh.” “It’s just a snake, Witch Little,” Knute said and smiled at me. I couldn’t help but smile back and hold my arms out to him. He came back to me and kissed me hard before pulling me into a deep hug. He told how he’d missed me and that we should never be apart again. “I agree,” I said and smiled up at him. He smiled back, then looked up into the sky and said, “It’s almost dawn.” I groaned, then shook my head. “I don’t care. I’m an adult. My mother doesn’t control me anymore.” His raised an eyebrow. “I want to go back with you,” I said. “I’m sick of being here.” “But you’re still in lockdown,” he said and chuckled. “I mean protection.” “Then how did you get in?” He whispered in my ear, “Magic.” 126
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I laughed and grabbed his face, pulling his lips to mine and squealed, “I love you!” “I-love-you-too,” he said, spacing his words out. “But I have to go now.” “Please don’t,” I said, almost on the verge of tears. “I mean, please don’t do this to me. It’s been hell—and I mean hell! I can’t take it anymore!” “But I have to,” he said and snapped his fingers. All of a sudden, he was dressed and that beautiful skin of his was hidden once again. I looked down. I was dressed too—my pajama bottoms and tshirt intact. “Oh, Knute,” I said and gave him a sad look. “It wasn’t long enough.” “Not to worry, Witch Little,” he said. “I’ll see you soon. You need to go back home now.” He turned to leave, but not before giving me a wink. I winked back and watched him back away from me. Something was different. I studied his walk. It was almost as if it were timed. He kept backing away and backing away and then, all of a sudden, he disappeared. Wow. I wanted to learn that.
Puppet On a String “Where you been?” I stopped and looked around. Mom was sitting on the porch swing. I said, “Nowhere.” “Really?” she said.
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“Really,” I replied and started into the house. “I’m going to bed.” “It’s a little late for bed,” she said. “Or should I say, early?” I stopped and stared at her. “What is it? You know I go out at night. What’s the big deal? I can’t help it if the fucking woods are calling for me, Mother. It’s part of being a witch!” “Don’t you dare take that tone with me, young lady,” she snapped. “And don’t say the ‘f’ word!” She hated the “f” word. Oh, well. But something about her demeanor…that’s when I knew she knew. That’s when I knew something in my life was about to change. That’s when I knew the proverbial shit was about to hit the fan. I suddenly felt chills go up and down my spine. “Besides, we all know that the woods didn’t call you, something else did.” She eyed me with derision. “Or should I say, someone?” God! How did she know that? She was like a spy or something! She could work for the FBI. But for a split second, I thought about the snake. Was the snake something? Was it someone? I shook my head and forced the thought out. It was just a snake. But then I knew. That snake was warning me of something and the only thing it could have been warning me of was Knute. I froze with the realization. But why? What did it mean? “Clementine,” she said, almost glaring at me. “What did I tell you about not ever putting a spell on me?” I froze. Oh, no. I just didn’t want to deal with this. Not now, not ever. I knew she’d find a way to ruin my time with Knute. I just knew it! And I hated her for it. I hated her for keeping me there and not letting me be with the man I wanted to be with. “I warned you,” she said. “If you ever did magic on me, you’d regret it.”
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“Oh, come on,” I said, trying to sound casual, though I knew a big fight was in store. “What’s the big deal?” “Because I can’t trust you now,” she hissed. “Get over yourself,” I said and leaned against the porch banister. “I won’t be locked up for the rest of my life.” “You don’t understand anything, do you?” she asked, shaking her head. “A witch like you has to have protection, otherwise terrible people get the wrong idea and they come after you, just like they did your grandmother.” “Oh, you’re full of it!” I yelled. “Where are they?” “One of them got in last night, didn’t he?” “What do you mean?” I asked. “Knute,” she said. “He was here, wasn’t he?” I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, he was.” “Oh, God,” she said and sighed. “I won’t even ask what he wanted.” “Why do you hate him so much?” I asked. “You’ve always hated him.” “I have my reasons.” “And what are they? Why do you want to keep us apart so bad?” “Why do I want to keep you and that son of a bitch apart?” she asked. “He’s evil.” “He is not!” I yelled. “You just don’t like him!” “He’s evil,” she said. “His own mother thinks so, too.” I stared at her, remembering Delia saying that she sometimes saw darkness in Knute. But that was just her worrying too much. When you’re surrounded by magic, you always have to worry about stuff like that. “We did this whole protection spell because of a vision Delia had,” she said. “She wanted to keep you two apart.” 129
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The chills came back and slithered al over my body. My mother didn’t often use her powers, which she considered “weak” and “unimaginative.” If she was using them, that meant something was wrong in a major way. I shuddered but managed to say, “That’s a lie. It was because of other jealous witches.” She laughed, almost menacingly. “Yeah, right. He is the other jealous witch, Clemmy!” My mouth fell open but before I could stop myself, I screamed, “You’re lying!” “Oh, am I?” she asked and pointed to the house. “Go in there and call Delia and ask her about her vision! Go on!” I stared at her but refused to move. “Do you want to know what it was of? Huh? And you know that when a powerful witch has a vision, it’s for a reason.” “What was it? He knocked me up or something?” She almost chuckled, then shook her head. “I wish that was all there is to it. No, baby, she had a vision of Knute killing you.” I froze. “Yeah, it made me go cold, too,” she said. “But I told her not to tell you. And she agreed.” “You just hate him,” I said, feeling my eyes fill with tears so rapidly they stung. “You just hate him! Why do you hate him so much?” “I don’t hate him!” she yelled. “But do you think I’m going to allow that to happen?” She stood, came over to me and got in my face. “Over my dead body!” “You don’t want me to be happy!” I yelled. “I don’t want you to be dead,” she snapped. “Fuck you,” I said and stood. “Where you going?” 130
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“Anywhere,” I said and started to leave, then stopped. “So, I could have left any time? There wasn’t even a spell, was there?” “Yes, there was a spell.” “So, did he break it?” “He did.” I stared at her. What could this mean? Did it mean anything? “I can’t take it anymore, Mommy. Y’all just have me acting like a puppet on a string. That’s all I am to you and her!” “Clementine,” she said. “After all your studying about witchcraft, you still don’t understand it. Until you do, you have to be looked out for.” “Imprisoned,” I said. “I’m in prison!” “So, go,” she said. “Go find him and go see what happens. You don’t believe in visions, well, neither do I.” “Delia never told me that.” “Why would she?” she asked. “We just thought if we could keep you two apart, you’d outgrow each other. I thought you’d meet a new boy and want him instead.” I stared at her, thinking about all the boys I’d meet over the last three years, none of them I wanted. They’d all be crazy about me, too. They all wanted me. I asked her, “Did you send all those boys to me?” She stared at me sadly. “That’s just it, Clemmy, I didn’t have to send those boys to you. They just wanted you on their own. You are a beautiful girl, Clementine.” Somehow, the compliment fell short, maybe because it was such a rare occasion that I ever got complimented on my looks. I glared at her and said, “It didn’t work. I love Knute and there’s not a damn thing you or Delia or even Alden can do about it.” “It’s for your own good.”
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“No, it’s because you are two old women who don’t want to see a young woman in love.” She chuckled softly. “I wish that was it. God, how I wish that was it.” “It is it!” I yelled just as Alden came up on the porch as a human. I turned on him and said, “So, you had to tattle on me, didn’t you?” ‘What are you talking about?” he asked. “I just got in.” I glared at him, then turned back to my mother. “You can’t keep us apart. I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t have to do what you say. I’m twenty-one years old! I am not a kid who can be told what to do all the time!” “Stay away from that boy,” she said. “I swear… Don’t you get it? This will come to no good!” “Did you see Knute last night?” Alden asked. “Shut up, Alden,” I hissed. He turned to my mother, who nodded. He let out a loud sigh and called, “Delia! Delia!” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Delia walked out of out of the garden shed dressed in taupe-colored silk pajamas and a white bathrobe. She was holding a toothbrush with toothpaste on it, as if she’d just started to brush her teeth. I stared at her in astonishment. She hurried to the porch. “Yes, I just, for lack of a better word, teleported,” she said. “I like to call it ‘get there quick.’” I just stared at her. “And I’m not teaching you this yet,” she added, then stared at the toothbrush, then swirled it into the air. Then it disappeared. I shook my head. “So, what is it?” she asked Alden. “She saw Knute lat night,” he told her. 132
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“What?” she asked and stared at me. “Clementine, is this true?” I groaned. “What is the big deal? So what if you had some stupid vision? We love each other.” She shook her head, then turned to my mother. “I didn’t have anything to do with this.” “No, your son found a way,” she said. “He will pay for this,” Delia said. “I swear. He will pay for this.” “For what?” I asked. “For loving me?” “For breaking a promise, and my spell,” she said. “Now anyone can get in. You two have to leave now.” “What?” I asked. “I was going to do that anyway,” my mother said, ignoring me. “I’ve got our clothes packed.” I stared at them, feeling like my world was collapsing. All we did was fall in love, that’s all! But it was like it was cursed, our love. And maybe it was. Maybe I was. Maybe I was cursed by love. Which wasn’t fair at all because it did nothing but make me ache with longing. But what about them? Why were they overreacting? They were taking all this too seriously, weren’t they? I said, “Why is everyone making such a big deal out of this?” “It is a big deal,” Delia said. “Now you go with your mother.” “But what about Knute?” I said. “I love him. You can’t keep us apart.” “It’s not about keeping you apart, Clementine,” she said softly. “It’s about keeping you alive.” “I won’t go,” I said. “I think every one of you is crazy! That’s what I think! I think you’re overreacting!” “You will go,” Mom said. “I won’t go,” I hissed. “Yes, you will,” Alden said. “You can either go voluntarily or I can put a spell on your smartass.” 133
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“Fuck you, Alden.” He raised a hand until my mother and Delia screamed, “No!” He put his hand down and glared at me. “I’ve never seen such disrespect,” he hissed. “How could you talk to your own mother like that?” “Because I want to be with Knute,” I said, almost on the verge of crying. “Why can’t y’all just let me be with him?” “In time, it might pass,” he said. “But until then, you have to sit tight and wait.” “What will pass?” I asked. “Our love? You just don’t get over it like that.” “If you would shut up and listen for a moment, you might begin to understand what’s going on,” he said. “Knute isn’t as powerful as you are, Clementine. He never will be. And that makes him crazy. You have to realize that when you two come together, he takes part of you away.” “Are you serious?” I asked, almost in tears. “Seriously? He loves me!” “He loves you too much,” he said. “And that’s the problem. One day, that love will grow to jealousy because he will see what you’re capable of and, because he doesn’t have the same powers, he will try to take it from you. In time he will probably grow obsessive and will become insane if you talk to anyone but him. And that’s just the beginning. You want more? You want me to tell you how he might try to bind your powers? You want me to tell you what else he could be capable of? Huh?” I jumped a little at his words, then my head spun with the information. I turned to Delia in desperation. “I can’t live like this for the rest of my life. I can’t believe he’d hurt me. He loves me. Why would he want to hurt me?”
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“You just answered your own question,” she said and shook her head sadly. “Like Alden said, if his love for you ever turns to jealousy…” She paused and sighed loudly. “I can’t risk it, Clementine. I just can’t. You’re too important. The world needs you. It has to have you. I cannot jeopardize your gift, even for my own son. I hate that, but I can’t.” I burst into tears and sat down on the swing. My mother rubbed my back and whispered in my ear that everything was going to be okay. She told me that Delia was going to take care of Knute and that when enough time passed, we might be able to be together. Delia sat down on my other side and told me that she was working on a spell for Knute, and that, yes, she believed he did love me and probably always would. But the vision had come to her and she had to heed it. There were bigger and better things in my life ahead, she assured me, and all I had to do was listen to my mother now and she’d direct me. “But I don’t want to go,” I sobbed. “I want to be here if he comes again.” “One day, you’ll see him,” she promised. “We’ll have all this sorted out for you, I promise. But for the time being you will be needed for much bigger things and I just can’t compromise those things right now.” “But I promise I’ll be good,” I said. “I won’t do anything to make him angry, I promise. Why can’t I just see him from time to time? What’s wrong with that?” “Because a young girl in love never listens,” she said. “As soon as you see him, he will be the only thing that matters to you. Give us time, Clementine. Give the world your power because it’s going to need it soon.”
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And with that, I was, once again, without Knute. Maybe they were right. Maybe it was just not meant to be. It killed me to think that, but maybe I needed to start accepting it.
Going Home That day we packed everything into the car Knute had given me and we set out. Alden, in cat form, slept in the small backseat most of the way. Mom didn’t tell me where we were going; she’d just point to a road and then an interstate and tell me what direction to go. Before long, Webster was a memory and we were in Georgia.
Goodbye, Webster. “Don’t get nostalgic,” Mom said. “I’ve been wanting to get out of that shithole for years.” “You never told me that,” I said. She nodded. “Well, I just couldn’t up and leave, though I wanted to. First, my father said it would be dangerous, then I had you and then your father didn’t want me to go and I had to fight with him. And then, of course, Delia came along.” I nodded, thinking about all that had conspired. I thought about my father, who had remarried and moved to Alabama. I rarely saw him but for some reason, I didn’t miss him that much. Mom said it was because I never really knew him and for that, she was glad. “He could be okay sometimes,” she said and shook her head. “But mostly, he was a self-centered bastard.” “Thanks for talking about my father like that,” I said. “It’s true,” she said. “And the sooner you come to terms with it, the better.”
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It did hurt a little when he didn’t call or send me a card on my birthday. But what could I do about it, really? Call him up and yell at him? Show up on his doorstep and demand that he love me? That wasn’t my style. I just figured if he didn’t want me, he didn’t want me. It didn’t have anything to do with me. It was mostly about him. “You’ve got us,” Alden said. “Who needs him?” Apparently not me because I’d never had him. He was just another guy in my life I couldn’t see for whatever reason. I was beginning to think all men were like that—in and out and then gone for good. A knife went through my heart as I thought about Knute. Was he like this? Was it true that he could hurt me, even kill me? I couldn’t wrap my head around that because he’d always been so kind and gentle with me. I shook it off and said, “Where are we going? We’ve been driving forever.” “Home,” Mom said. “And where’s home?” I asked and stared sideways at her. “Do you mean I finally get to see the house in Savannah?” She smiled and nodded. “Yes, finally.” I couldn’t wait. I’d been hearing about this house in Savannah for a while now. I could tell that she was looking forward to it. She sighed and looked out the window. I stared straight ahead and just concentrated on driving. Soon, the day was gone and it was night. I felt the restlessness in me and I yearned to pull the car over to the side of the road and go into the woods. “The need will go away soon,” Alden said. I ignored him. He gave me a look and closed his eyes. I focused back on the road, feeling tired. “Get off on this exit,” Mom said. 137
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“What exit?” I asked. “The one up ahead.” I looked and saw the exit and nodded. We were a mile away. I pushed down on the gas, thinking I had to get out of this car soon or I’d go crazy. I was about to tell Mom that I had to have a break but something told me to keep driving. I glanced over at Mom but she had her eyes closed. I looked ahead again and kept driving taking the exit a little too fast. I stopped at the end of the exit ramp and said, “Left or right?” “Left,” she muttered, almost asleep. “Mom, you can’t sleep right now,” I said. “You have to tell me where to go.” “Just drive, Clementine,” she said. “Just drive.” I rolled my eyes and drove. I was about sick of it, too. I drove and drove on a winding two-lane blacktop. I almost fell asleep myself, but then I started and shook my head. And then I felt it again, something was telling me to hurry. I pressed down on the gas and the car moved faster. I had to hold on tight to the steering wheel as I took the curves in the road. And then, I knew what was about to happen. It was almost like déjà vu. Up ahead, I saw it. I saw the car. It was a small car, wrapped around a tree. It looked awful, gnarled. I could tell that the crash had just happened as the taillights of the car were blinking. I immediately knew there was someone in that car that needed help. “Oh, my God,” I breathed. “Mom!” I looked over at her. She was asleep. She hadn’t heard me. I was about to wake her, but then I pulled the car over to the side of the road and, without thinking, got out and ran to the car. There was a young girl in the car and her head was split open. Streams of blood
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ran down both sides of her face. I knew at once she was hemorrhaging. “Mom!” I screamed but she didn’t stir. I didn’t know what to do. I felt so bad for her. I looked around and started to wring my hands together. She was gurgling, blood seeping out of the sides of her mouth. What do I do? I couldn’t call anyone; I was nowhere near a phone. Oh, my cell phone. I was about to run and get it but something stopped me. This girl was going to die on me! I didn’t have time to leave her side. What the hell could I do? Then, something came over me. Something told me what to do.
Pull her out of the car. I took a breath and tried to open the door. It was stuck. I closed my eyes and said, “Open,” and it opened. The girl inside stirred. She was waking. I, gently as I could, reached around her and undid her seatbelt, then I gently pulled her out of the car. Now what?
Heal her. “How do I do that?” I murmured to myself, almost on the verge of breaking down. I stared at her, not knowing how to do it. Her face was swelling and she was going blue. She needed oxygen and she needed it bad.
Open her mouth. I opened her mouth so some air could get in.
Now heal her. I didn’t even think twice. “Heal,” I said and laid my hand on her forehead. I took a deep breath and said, “Heal.” She blinked and opened her eyes, staring at me wildly. Just then, my mother came up behind me and gasped, looking from me to her, then she breathed, “Why did you get off at this exit?” “You told me to.”
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She stared at me and said, “Oh… Oh! Oh, my! You’ve been called, Clementine, you’ve been called!” I stared at her, almost crying. She was crying, which was something she didn’t do very often. She laid a hand on my shoulder and said, “I’d never seen my mother do it, heal others. I’d only heard about it. Now that I’ve seen it, it just makes me so proud. You’re just like her, Clementine, she told me that. You can heal. That’s your gift. She was right. My mother was right.” My mouth dropped. This was my gift. Healing others was my gift. That was my calling. Wow. I was overcome with the realization of how big this whole thing was, how beyond my love for Knute it was. I suddenly got it. “Now do you understand why it’s so important to keep you safe?” she asked. “Now do you understand?” I nodded. Suddenly, everything was very, very clear to me. Alden had been right the night he told me that one day my whole life would make sense. And now it did! I felt an enormous weight lift off my shoulders and I could literally feel my entire world opening up. It was the most intense feeling I’d ever had. My whole purpose in life became obvious to me. My future opened up and the horizon was suddenly cleared of all obstacles. But it wasn’t me that healed her, I understood that. It was like I was merely channeling something bigger than myself. I was just the vessel. The girl stirred and stared into my eyes. Who was she? I didn’t know. She was just a stranger but for some reason, I had been called to her. I stared back at her and for an instant felt a strong connection to her. It was a soul connection, as if her soul was thanking me. She didn’t speak. I didn’t speak. We didn’t have to. I knew she was going to be all right. And she knew I had healed her, though she wouldn’t remember any of this, for which I was 140
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thankful. Her eyes blinked heavily and she passed out a second later. Mom called 911 and we waited until an ambulance and two police cars arrived. I told them what happened and they looked her over and assured me she’d be just fine. “You did a good thing,” they told me. They didn’t know the half of it. “I’ll drive the rest of the way,” Mom said. “You need a rest.” She was right, I did need a rest. I was completely drained after that. I didn’t even begin to understand what I’d just done or what it meant. I was just too tired. It seemed, though, as soon as I closed my eyes, my mom was tapping me on the shoulder, telling me we were home. I suddenly came awake and sat up in my seat. Then I gasped. Before me was a huge antebellum mansion. It was three stories high and had an enormous wrap-around porch. There were huge trees in the yard, some so large that I knew instantly that they had to be over a hundred years old. “Wow,” I said in awe. “Is this our house?” “Don’t get excited yet,” she said and got out of the car. “Wait until you see the inside.” I got out of the car and looked around the overgrown yard. I wondered what it had looked like back in its heyday. “It used to be so beautiful here,” Mom said, as if reading my thoughts. “God, it was beautiful. We had a gardener, even, and he took extreme care with the rose bushes, which I see have grown wild.”
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I stared towards a large trellis which was beneath a secondstory window. The roses looked thorny and needed pruning. “Ahh, well,” she said and sighed, then glanced at me. “You have a hard time believing this is where I grew up, don’t you?” I stared at her. “Well, it sure beats the hell outta where I grew up.” “Now, don’t be like that,” she said. “I did the best I could with what I was given.” I nodded. “I was supposed to be a debutant,” she said. “The best boys in this county would have been after me. But, of course, we had to leave before all that could happen.” My mouth dropped. I couldn’t imagine anyone liking my mother like that. In fact, it grossed me out, so I said, “Please don’t talk about this.” Alden hopped out of the car and said, “Well, ladies, let’s go in and take a look at this dump.” As he walked, he turned into a human. “It’s not a dump!” Mom yelled after him, then turned to me. “This place is one reason we were always so broke. I’m sorry you had to do without so much so I could pay the taxes, but I couldn’t bear to let it go.” I hadn’t known that. I was finding out all sorts of new things. I stared at the house and shrugged. “It’s okay, Mom, I didn’t do without much.” “I know,” she said. “But I could have done better. This is the only piece of land like it still around here. We own over a hundred acres and they kept raising the taxes, hoping they can sell it for a fortune at auction to the developers if I defaulted on the taxes, but I worked my ass off to pay them every year so we could keep it.
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There are developments all around here. These dirty bastards will do anything for a buck.” I nodded. Well, it all made sense now, why I had to do without so much, why were lived in that little house. But it didn’t matter. The house was beautiful and it was ours. I felt pride as I stared at it. “Let’s go look inside.” “Okay,” she said and smiled. “It’s good to be back, Clemmy. You’re going to love Savannah.” She took my hand and squeezed it. “I just want you to know that I was very proud of you last night. You did me proud.” I smiled at her. “And your grandmother, too,” she said and smiled back. “You know, the only reason I kept this house is because it was passed down to me from my mother who got it from her mother who got it from her mother and so on and so forth. It’s been in our family since it was built.” “When was that?” “Before the war,” she said. “Which one? World War I or World War II?” “The Civil War,” she said and smiled at me. “It’s that old?” “It really is,” she said. “But it’s always been kept up and updated with electrical and baths and all that. So, don’t worry. We do have indoor plumbing.” “Well, thank God for that,” I said. “Yeah, thank God,” she said. “But they built them to last back then. Come on, let’s go take a look and see what kind of shape it’s in.” I nodded and followed her into the house. Inside, the place was a mess. The large rooms—seventeen total, including baths—had exquisite moldings and wood floors. The rooms were, at one time, 143
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very beautiful and grand. But now the whole house was exactly as it had been the way it had been left it all those years ago, except now it was covered in a layer of dust and was crawling with all kinds of critters. “Oh, your grandfather would have a fit if he saw the shape this place is in now,” Mom said and sighed. I didn’t remember much about my grandfather, only what my mother had told me. He’d died of natural causes shortly after I’d been born. “Bad heart,” Mom had told me. But when he’d been alive, he’d been very entrepreneurial and had amassed a fortune, which “he spent as easily as he made it,” according to my mother. “He couldn’t hold on to a penny,” she said. “Which means we had Louis IVX chairs but no food in the house.” This was back in Webster, Tennessee. After they had moved there when she was very young, they had plenty of money and should have been very well taken care. However, my grandfather developed a bad gambling habit. Mom said he developed it because he was mourning my grandmother, which I could completely understand. “But he ran through with everything we had,” she said and shook her head sadly. “We were living in a very nice house with beautiful furniture one day and the next, we were kicked out. By then, I had married your father and we moved into that old house by the creek. And, by the time you were born, your grandfather had all but lost everything he’d ever earned. And then your daddy and he couldn’t get along, so your daddy left and it was just us three. And, soon thereafter, he died.” “Wow,” I said. “That’s the saddest story I’ve ever heard.” “It was very sad,” she said. “And to think of all the money my father ran through with is sickening. He gambled it all away but this house.” 144
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“Why not the house?” I asked. “It was deeded to me and not him,” she said and smiled at me. “So, he couldn’t touch it.” I nodded and looked around the enormous sitting room. “Mom,” I said. “This place is filthy.” “It is,” she said. “Let’s fix it,” I said and started to raise my hand but she stopped me. “What is it?” “No,” she said. “You don’t have to do that.” “But this place is uninhabitable!” I said. “Besides, Delia fixed the old Farmer house up with magic.” “That’s Delia,” she said. I rolled my eyes. “Mom, it could take weeks to get this place in livable condition.” “Then we’ll just have to take weeks, won’t we?” she said, smiling. “What else are we doing?” If there was one thing about my mother, she was a clean freak. In fact, it’s like she got excited about cleaning. She loved it. Our house back in Tennessee was spotless. She always made me get up every Saturday and help her, too. I’d had chores since I could walk. “But I’m tired,” I whined. “Stop your bitching,” she said and went over to the couch. “Come over here and help me. We need to move this thing so I can open the windows.” I walked over and attempted to help her move this very large and heavy dark green velvet couch. A mouse ran out from it as we approached it. Mom and I both started screaming like little girls and dancing around. “Ugh!” I screamed and shimmed. “Oh, ugh, ugh, ugh!” “Eww,” Mom said and shook herself, then she turned to Alden and jerked her head towards the rat. 145
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“I don’t think so,” he said. I raised my hand again but Mom stopped me. “We can get a few traps,” she said. “And you can empty them,” I replied, then screamed when another mouse came scurrying out from beneath the couch. “Oh, shit, Mom! They’ve got a nest in that ugly couch!” “Shit!” she screamed and ran away from the couch. “Oh, hell,” Alden said. “Two witches who are afraid of mice! I’ve never!” “Do something, Alden,” I begged him. He glared at us, then said facetiously, “Abracadabra!” And the mice disappeared. “That goes for all the creepy-crawlies in this house,” he said, addressing my mother. “What’s the use in having any power if you never use it, Glenda?” “You know I don’t do that,” she said. “Rusty?” he teased. “No, just cautious,” she replied. “But if you want to get rid of everything that moves on four or more legs, be my guest.” He studied her. “I don’t know what you’re insinuating, but I don’t think I like it. However, yes, no bugs, rats or, for that matter, raccoons.” “Raccoons?” I said. He nodded. “Or snakes.” “Ew,” I said and thought of the snake Knute had grabbed last night. Then I thought of Knute and felt suddenly sick. It had been warning me. I shook the eerie feeling off and forced any thoughts about what had conspired—or could conspire—out of my head. “Go in the kitchen pantry and get me a broom,” Mom said. “We have a pantry?” I asked. She nodded. “Go now.” 146
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I went down the hall and found the cavernous kitchen then found an old broom in the corner of the pantry. I paused to look at all the old cans of food that had been left and at all the debris of dead bugs and dust and now useless cleaning supplies. We had so much work to do. I was about to walk out, then on second thought, I paused and said, “Dump!” and all the old cans and debris in the pantry was gone, hopefully to a dump somewhere. I smiled and walked back out, marveling at the kitchen and its tall white cabinets and marble countertops. I still couldn’t get over how huge this place was. Just looking at it made me feel proud. This was my house. I’d always wanted a house like this, even if it meant cleaning for weeks. I smiled to myself and took the broom to her. Mom took it and swept it over the chandelier, which almost fell from the ceiling, barely hanging from a wire. We jumped back and covered our heads but nothing happened. “That bastard has been about to fall down for forty years,” she hissed. “I hate that thing. I’m going to get up there and take it down.” ‘Mom” I said. “It’s our light.” “I hate that thing,” she said. “My grandfather insisted they put it up though it was too heavy for the ceiling. That damn thing probably weights fifty pounds.” I stared at it. “Let me fix it.” “No, Clemmy,” she said. “You mustn’t abuse your powers.” “I’m not abusing my powers,” I said and pointed at it. “I’m just going to fix the light. Besides, you let Alden do it with the rats.” “Alden’s different,” she said. “Still, let me fix that damn light.” “It’s a chandelier,” she said. “Art deco and doesn’t even go with this décor. My grandfather was weird.” 147
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“Let me fix it.” “No,” she snapped. “Whatever,” I said, then glanced at Alden as he strolled back into the room. “If I can’t fix the chandelier, I’m going to at least buy us dinner. Pizza?” “Anchovy,” Alden said. That wasn’t happening. So, I said, “Pepperoni and mushroom!” before he beat me to it. A large pepperoni and mushroom pizza appeared in my hands. I breathed in the smell of fresh baked hot pizza and my mouth watered. It was so fresh, I could feel the heat on the bottom of the box it came in. “Oh, it smells so good!” Mom shook her head. “You know that disappeared from a restaurant somewhere.” I looked at the box and read, “Antonio’s Pizzeria, 2727 Market, Brooklyn, New York. Brooklyn Pizza!” I exclaimed and high-fived Alden. Mom cleared her throat. “You’re such a killjoy,” I said. “You are a bit of a killjoy, Glenda,” Alden agreed, then chuckled. “But, just think, some waiter in Brooklyn is arguing with the cook that his pizza is late and the cook is arguing that he already cooked it.” I laughed and joined in, “Or some guy just picked the pizza up to take back to his crummy apartment and he stopped to tie his shoe and put the pizza on top of a mailbox or on a stoop and when he looked up, it was gone.” “And now he’s thinking,” Alden chimed in. “‘Am I crazy or was it just there?’” “Or, or,” I said, really getting into it. “Some pizza delivery guy is knocking on a door somewhere and saying ‘Your pizza!’ and then
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he starts to pull it out of the bag but it’s gone and he’s like, ‘I swear to God I put that thing in there!’” Alden and I collapsed in laughter as my mother stood there glaring at us. We stopped and straightened ourselves up. But, really, it was funny if you thought about it. “Pizza?” Alden asked my mother and grabbed the box, then snapped his fingers. Suddenly, a nice, dark wood table appeared with three nice, white upholstered chairs. They looked so comfortable. Mom shook her head. “I’ll send it back, Glenda, even though it was stuck in a showroom somewhere,” he said. “Let’s eat.” I sat down and patted the chair next to mine. “Mom, come on.” “Sure,” she said, sitting. “I am hungry.” “Beer?” Alden asked me. “Peroni!” I exclaimed and a nice cold six-pack appeared on the table. “Peroni?” Mom asked and gave me a look. “What’s that? You drink now?” “I’m almost twenty-two years old,” I said, taking a beer. “Give me a break. And Peroni is a fine, fine beer. If you’re going to drink, drink the best.” She turned to Alden and gave him a look. “It was her, not I, that wanted to know exactly what a Mai Tai was,” he said. “What better way to show her than to have an actual Mai tai? They do make the best at this little beach hut bar in Maui.” “Plates, Alden,” I said. “Oh,” he said and snapped his fingers again and three nice clean plates appeared along with linen napkins and sparkling silverware. “So, anyway, blame her.” “Well, in that case, get me one,” Mom said. 149
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Alden’s mouth dropped, then he grinned. “Why, you old teetotaler.” “By default,” she said. “Webster was in a dry county.” “Oh,” he replied and snapped his fingers. A delicious looking Mai Tai appeared, topped with orange slices, a cherry and even a pink umbrella. “Oh, that looks delicious,” Mom said and took the drink, sipped it, then smiled. “You know, Clemmy, your father took me to Knoxville once to this tiki bar and restaurant, back when he was still decent. I had a Mai Tai there.” “Well, aren’t you all fancy?” I teased and grinned at her. “I suppose I am,” she said. We smiled at each other, then we dug into the pizza which was hot and delicious. It was good to be a witch. Thanks, Antonio’s. After we were done eating, Alden was about to get rid of the table and chairs, but Mom stopped him. “Just this once, Alden, let’s keep it. But could you put it in the kitchen?” “Sure thing,” he said and snapped his fingers and the table and chairs disappeared into the kitchen. “Anything else?” “No, nothing,” she said and smiled. “Oh, it’s good to be home. So, so good.” “And I am so, so beat,” I said and stood. “So, if you let me know which room is mine, I’d appreciate it.” I glanced towards the stairs. “And I am going to fix it.” She shrugged. “If that’s what you want to do, but don’t overdo it. And just pick whichever room you like. They’re all about the same size.” “Ladies, if you will excuse me,” Alden said and stood, then walked out of the room, turning into a cat as he left. We watched him disappear out the front door, then turned to each other. “Mom, I have a good feeling about this place.” 150
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“Good,” she said. “Now go to bed and get some rest.” I nodded and started out, then stopped and turned back to her. “Is this house under protection as well?” She shook her head. “No, the threat was over some time ago. We were going to move anyway. I was just waiting for the right time.” I started to say something about her saying Knute was why I’d had protection, but bit my tongue. We were getting along so well, I didn’t want to spoil it. “Alden will be leaving us shortly, Clemmy,” she said. “So be nice to him.” “Where’s he going?” He strolled back in just then, still as a cat, and said, “I just love it when people talk about me when I’m not in the room. I’m not going anywhere right now but you must realize you’re not the only young witch in the world who needs my help.” “You never do anything to help!” I exclaimed. “All you do is—” “Shut it, Clementine,” Mom said. “You have no idea what Alden does.” “He tattles,” I said. “And he sleeps on my head every night.” “I thought you liked that,” he said and purred. “You have a very round head and it’s nice to curl up around.” I glared at him. “Anyway, I’m going to bed.” “See you soon,” Alden said and purred at me. I flipped him a bird and went up the grand staircase and opened all the doors to every room. There were quite a few and I lost count. Each room was filled with beautiful antique furniture that needed airing out and cleaned. I finally found a room that had beautiful sage wallpaper and a huge antique French bed with a canopy. It also had a private bath with one of those claw-footed
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tubs. Something seemed calm about this room, so I claimed it as mine. I looked it over and said, “Clean,” and closed my eyes. When I opened them, the room was sparkling clean and devoid of the musty smell that had overtaken the house. The bathroom was so clean you could eat off the floor. I don’t know why my mother wouldn’t let me just do this to the rest of the house. It would have been so much easier. I thought about my mother growing up here as a child. What would that have been like to live in such a place? I sighed and glanced at the bathtub, wondering if I should take a shower, then decided against it. The bed looked too inviting. So, I slid into the bed and onto the fresh, clean linen sheets and immediately fell asleep.
The next few weeks were a bustle of activity. Mom had me cleaning from morning to night. When she wasn’t looking, I’d use my powers to get it done more quickly, though she berated me once she realized what I was doing. I didn’t care. (Also, I noticed that she never told me to undo anything I did.) After a few months of cleaning and painting, I was over it. So, when she was out or wasn’t looking, I’d look at the paint brush in whatever room I was in and say, “Paint,” and the brush would float into the air and paint the entire room perfectly. It even painted the trim. The same went for cleaning, especially the tall windows. I’d look at the paper towels and the window cleaner and I’d say, “Clean,” and the two would join and give me sparkling windows. All this heavy duty housework kept thoughts about Knute from entering my head. I just couldn’t deal with it then and I didn’t
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want to. So, I turned my attention to the house and getting it into livable condition. The yard posed a bigger problem. It was so overgrown, it would have taken a bulldozer to get through it. The day I was asked, or, rather, told, to start chopping weeds, I found the old lawn mower in the old stables, which had been converted into a garage years ago, and said, “Mow.” And the mower started pushing itself through the brush. I leaned against the stable and smiled as I watched it. Ah, it was good to be a witch. Our house was on a road that wasn’t very busy, but for some reason, at that very instant, an old truck passed by just as the lawnmower began to do its business. The old man sitting in the truck was awe-struck until I ran after the mower, playing like it had just gotten away from me. I waved at him and grabbed it and it kept mowing at a break-neck pace. I had to run with it to make it look like I was mowing. Finally, the old bastard got his good look in and drove on by, slowly. After he was out of sight, I let go of the lawnmower, flipped the departing truck a bird and let it finish its job. It took well over a year to get the house back into livable condition. We worked hard even though I used magic to shortcut whenever I could. The furniture was beautiful but constantly needed dusting. I begged Mom to sell some of it off and get some new, more modern furniture, but she was adamant about keeping all the antiques her family had amassed throughout the years. Sure, they were worth a lot of money, I got that, but they were mostly very uncomfortable to sit on and almost impossible to keep clean. But I let it go. I could never win an argument with her, so why bother? The best thing about the house was the woods that surrounded it. There were acres and acres of trees and within the woods, there was a stream that ran through them. When I’d go and sit there, I 153
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could feel my grandmother. It’s like she was still there, digging her roots and healing others. I loved that spot and went there most every day. It was like I was home and I felt very comfortable being there, feeling her presence while surrounded by nature. Life in Savannah, Georgia was much like life in Webster, Tennessee, but with better restaurants and a lot more stuff to do. It had Tybee Beach and warmer weather. I got a job as a waitress and Mom got a job selling real estate, which was strange, as she’d always worked in factories. But, as she said, that’s all there was in Webster. Our lives were better, for the most part, and easier. And we had this huge house to live in with Alden. I still studied the craft but, mostly, I just sat around waiting for something to happen. Nothing much did. Oddly enough, my mother also started dating. It was strange, too. One day, a man showed up on our doorstep with a bouquet of flowers. I was a little stunned, to say the least. When he told me he was there to take my mother out on a date, I almost fell over. But she was happy, and that made me happy. It was good for her to split her focus so she wasn’t always concentrating on me. Having my mother date was strange enough, but it made me think about things. Was I wasting my life pining over Knute? Should I be dating, too? I didn’t have the desire, to be honest, but I knew one day I’d have to move forward with or without him. I kept hoping that I’d just get over Knute. But it didn’t happen. I think being separated from him made my love grow and intensify. The pain in my heart from the absence of Knute didn’t diminish as I’d hoped. Though I’d given up ever really being with him as boyfriend and girlfriend, I never let go of that love I felt for him. I hoped that one day whatever vision Delia had would be resolved and we could be together. I missed him desperately but I understood what I was now and being a powerful witch meant 154
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protecting myself as much as possible. I could have gone to Knute. I could have found him. However, I didn’t want to go looking for trouble. But sometimes, trouble comes looking you no matter how hard you try to sidestep it. And, sometimes, trouble isn’t that bad.
Stirring the Pot We’d been in Savannah almost two full years when Delia paid her first visit. She had been staying in Louisiana somewhere, but would never tell me where exactly. I’m not sure why, and I didn’t press. We spoke on the phone a few times a week. I kept her abreast of everything that was going on and she’d tell me what to study and what to practice and, of course, to always listen to my mother, probably just to torment me. At first, I would ask her about Knute, but after a while, I stopped asking. It wasn’t that she wouldn’t tell me what she knew—she was a compulsively honest person—it just felt like I was beating a dead horse. And she always told me the same thing, “One day, Clementine, one day you two will be together.” So, I let it go for the most part. However, when one day she finally did show up, she didn’t come for pleasure; she came on business. I’d kinda been expecting it, too. “Oh, the house looks wonderful!” Delia said and looked around, before turning to me. “Well, I suppose you know why I’m here.” I didn’t, not exactly, so I guessed, “To visit me?” “Well, of course,” she said with a smile. “But it’s something much more important than that.”
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I nodded and felt the hairs stand up on the back of my arms. For some reason, I knew what she was talking about it was freaking me out a little. “We’ve been called, Clementine. It’s time to really use your powers.” “Exactly what does that entail?” I asked. “We’re going into battle,” she said and smiled at me. “Aren’t you excited?” Excited? No, not really. Petrified was a better word. Wow. Now, I felt nauseous. I also felt a lump form in my throat. Wow, oh, wow. This was it. This was why I was born a witch, just like some people are born doctors or horse trainers. This was it. I was going to get to do something really important. Wow. I didn’t know if I liked the idea or not. I could get hurt. I could die! Something might fall on my head! I could— “Oh, stop,” she said and waved her hand at me. “Stop panicking.” I felt a momentary sense of relief, then the panic came back, this time less strong. “Have you ever done battle?” I asked. “Why, yes, I have,” she said. “It really does get the blood flowing.” I just stared at her. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” she said. “Stop panicking.” Again, I felt the relief and this time the panic was even less. I silently thanked her, then asked, “Who are we fighting?” “It’s not who we’re fighting…” she said, trailing off. “It’s more like ‘what’ we’re fighting.” I didn’t want to ask what that meant. But I had to. “What does that mean?” “Demons,” she said. “Oh,” I muttered. “I’ve never even seen a demon, Delia!” 156
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Mom touched my arm and said, “Clementine, you’re making more of this than there is. Stop being such a worry-wart.” I stared at her from the corner of my eye and said, “Well, since it’s no big deal, you go and fight them, Mom.” “Not me,” she said. “I’m not gifted.” “I don’t think you understand,” Delia said to me. “I didn’t mean to lead you to believe that we’re doing actual fighting. We’re actually—” “Stirring the pot,” Alden said, entering the room. He was in human form and dressed in yet another dapper—and extraordinarily old-fashioned—outfit. I had to get him some jeans and t-shirts. He stuck out like a sore thumb whenever we went out in public together. I was tired of everyone staring at us and only imagined what they were saying. Perhaps, “Is he a time-traveler or something?” Sometimes, I even caught people taking pictures of him with their camera phones and, more than likely, uploading them onto the internet. I can only imagine what they were saying—“Check this dude out! He’s the man from another time!” That’s how odd he looked. I refused to let him go to Wal-Mart with me. “Stirring the pot?” I asked. “Are we going to be stirring up trouble or something?” Alden, Delia and my mother burst out laughing. They laughed so hard at me, tears formed in their eyes. “No, no, no, honey,” Mom said. “You’re not… I don’t know how to put it. But—” “Huh?” I asked and stared at them. “It’s not that big of a deal,” Delia said and eyed Alden. “Well, it is, but we’re not going to be fighting them. We’re just going to tame them.” “Tame demons?” Alden said and scoffed. “Good luck with that.” 157
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She eyed him and said, “Well, we’ve tamed quite a few. But anyway, Clementine, are you ready?” “Ready?” I asked. “Ready to go,” she said. “It’s time. We have to do this tonight.” I glanced at Mom. “Is it okay?” “Of course it’s okay,” she said. “You’ll be fine, Clemmy. Once you start doing it, it will be like second nature.” I wasn’t so sure. But I knew this was my calling and I had to heed it, even if I was scared to death of what was to come. “Well, we’ll be off,” Delia said and went to the door. “Let’s go, Clementine.” “Don’t I need an overnight bag or anything?” “No,” she said and almost laughed. “You’ll be home in the morning. If you’re good, we’ll stop for pancakes on the way back.” Strange. Pancakes? Demons? Stirring the pot? What the hell had I been born into? Even so, I pushed the thoughts from my head and went to the door. Alden got up to follow us, then stopped and turned to my Mom. “Oh, Glenda, I forgot. I won’t be back after tonight.” “What?” I said, surprising myself. Everyone raised an eyebrow at me. “I mean… Alden, you’re not coming back with me?” He smiled gently at me. “No, dear. I will always be around if you need me, of course, but after tonight, duty calls. And, unfortunately, my duty here is done.” I felt… I dunno…sad. Which was weird because we had such a volatile relationship. And he had slept on my head every night as a cat. I said, “I don’t know what to say.” “You already said it,” he said and gave me a gentle smile. “And, believe me, you will miss old Alden, Clementine.” He was right. I would miss him. I was on the verge of tears just thinking about him leaving us. How weird was that? 158
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Mom came over and hugged him and told him to drop in anytime he liked. “Believe me, I will,” he said. “But I have to go to Brazil.” “Brazil?” I asked, in awe. “Yes,” he said. “Even in South America, duty calls. I’m only hoping I have time to see the beach.” “Well, don’t go out dressed like that,” I said and nodded at his outfit. He stared down at his clothes, then back at me. “You’ve always had a problem with my clothes, haven’t you, Clementine?” “I don’t have the problem, Alden,” I said. “It’s just that everyone else has the problem. You look like you’re in costume.” “Who says I’m not?” he smarted. Everyone cracked up, even me at myself. And that relieved some of the tension I’d been feeling. “We have to go now,” Delia said, still smiling. “Bye, Glenda.” “See you,” Mom said and walked us to Delia’s new silver car. “Wow,” I said. “I like your new car. What kind is it? I’ve never seen anything like that.” “Maserati,” she said and opened the door. “You’ve got such good taste in cars,” I said. And she did, though her cars did make her stick out like a sore thumb. But it was at least better than Alden’s “costumes.” “Thank you, Clementine,” she said. “Maybe I should trade up,” I said, falling in love with the car, but then I felt guilty because Knute had given me my car, which I still loved. Then I felt sad because I didn’t dare ask her about Knute, though I was dying to. So, I quickly changed the subject, “Hey, wait a minute,” I said. “Aren’t we, like, you know, teleporting?” “No,” she replied. “Why would we?” 159
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“Why not?” “Clementine,” she said. “Teleporting is tricky business and I don’t have time to teach you that right now. Besides, it’s a little bit of a pain in the ass, if you know what I mean.” How could getting somewhere instantaneously be a pain in the ass? I really wanted to know how to do this! And I wanted to ask why she wouldn’t teach me, but the look on her face, which was getting more serious, told me not to. She stared at me and shook her head. “We’re not doing that right now,” she said. “Now get in the back.” “Damn it,” I muttered and got in the back, then turned to wave at Mom. “Bye, Mom.” “Bye, Clemmy,” she said. “Be careful.” “I’ll take care of her,” Alden said. As we pulled out, I turned and stared at Mom from the back window. All of a sudden, I had a strong urge to jump out of the car and run to her and hug her. I don’t know why, but this ominous feeling just overtook me. It’s like I knew something was about to happen, but what, exactly, was beyond me. I almost told Delia to let me out, but I told myself I was just being foolish. Delia said, “Stop panicking.” I took a breath and stopped panicking. I said, “Thanks.” “You’re welcome,” she replied and burned rubber. Delia drove us about six hours south, deep into the Florida swamps. As we drove, I kept having déjà vu, so much to the point I was almost shaking. This was it. Something in me had been 160
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preparing me for this for a long time, though I’d been mostly unaware of it. “Demons love hot weather,” Alden said out of nowhere. “The sun brings out the lazy, too,” Delia added. I didn’t ask what that meant, though I didn’t get it. I was a mass of nerves. I just knew I was going to mess everything up and the demons would take over the earth and it would be all my fault. “Oh, stop fretting,” Alden said. “You fret more than any witch I’ve ever known.” “Sorry,” I said. “I just don’t know what the hell I’m doing.” “Yes, you do,” Delia said. “And I will be there and so will a few others. We are a team, you have to remember that. It’s not that big of a deal, but just keep in mind that once it starts, there is no backing down.” I felt a sudden urge to jump out of the car. If she wasn’t driving so fast, I might have. “What happened to your old car, Delia?” I asked. “Got tired of it,” she said and smiled at me. “Oh, I meant to ask, how is your car holding up? It’s quite old now, isn’t it?” “No,” I said a little defensively. I didn’t like anyone talking bad about my baby—I mean, my car. “But, yes, it is getting a little old. I think I might get a better job and try to get a new one sometime. Start working full-time or something.” “Oh,” she said. “Hmm… You’re just working part-time, right? Just keep doing that.” “Why?” I asked. “Maybe a full-time job isn’t the best thing right now. How about we talk about it later? The car business?” “Delia, I couldn’t take another car from you,” I said and thought of Knute. Again, I felt like crap. And I still wanted to jump out of the car. 161
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“Well,” she said. “It isn’t that big of a deal. I got a huge divorce settlement, you know? I invested most of it and make money now without doing anything. And you are like a daughter to me.” I thought of Knute and almost started crying. I said, “Can I ask about him?” She nodded and said, “He’s doing fine. He asks about you everyday but he knows not to break the rules.” I nodded. “Soon, Clementine,” she said. “Soon, you two will be together, I promise. You just have to wait.” “I’m good at that,” I said. “Waiting.” She smiled softly at me and shook her head, then said, “Oh, good, we’re here.” I leaned forward between the seats and stared ahead. She pulled the car to the side of the dirt road and stopped. To the left and to the right was nothing but Florida swamp. And it was getting dark. “You know, people have been known to find the most exquisite flowers in the swamps here,” she told me. “But keep in mind that it’s a natural reserve.” “What does that mean?” I asked. “It means don’t pick the flowers,” Alden said and got out. “Especially not the orchids.” I rolled my eyes and got out, then followed them into the swamp. We walked for what seemed like miles and it was hot and muggy and buggy. The bugs were huge, too, and I had to keep swatting them away. Some of them were bigger than my hand! One of them began to attack me. I danced around, trying to ward it off. “Away!” Alden shouted at it. It stopped buzzing and flew away. I looked up at him. “Thanks.” He nodded and turned to Delia, “Let’s just teleport over there.” 162
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“We can’t use any of our power up right now,” she said and glanced at him. “We need to keep everything in reserve in case…you know.” “In case what?” I asked and was, of course, ignored. “In case of what?” “You’ll see,” she said. “But don’t worry about it.” “How can I not worry about it? The fate of the world rests in my hands!” “Now, now,” Alden said. “Let that ego shrink a little.” “You let your ego shrink first,” I snapped and swiped at yet another bug. He started to say something but Delia held her hand up and said, “Over there.” I turned and looked, seeing the opening of the cave. My heart sank to my knees. It was also a very odd place for a cave, but there it was, waiting on me. I swallowed hard and followed Delia and Alden into the cave. From there, we walked about a mile into it, not stopping once even for a second, though I was tiring because of the lack of oxygen in the cave. Soon, I heard voices and turned to Delia, who nodded and smiled. “We’re almost there,” she said and pointed up ahead. Almost there was another quarter of a mile. We came upon the site where we would do battle with the demons. And it was huge. It was like a big round room in the cave. The floor was soft sand and the walls were covered with soft green moss. There was a slight musty smell. I looked around and saw a few cobwebs but, other than that, the place was surprisingly clean. It looked like something out of a storybook, especially since someone had hung oil lanterns from the walls for light. The soft glow cast shadows on the walls of the cave, giving it an eerier but intriguing look. While 163
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it wasn’t homey, by any stretch of the imagination, it was a very interesting place to be. I could just feel the energy of the place and soon I was buzzing with it, ready to do what I had to do, whatever that may be. In the middle of the room, there was, indeed, a big black pot that sat upon a big fire. There were also three other witches, two women and one older man, stirring it. However, they didn’t look like the witches in storybooks. None of them were wart-covered or hook-nosed. They were, in fact, very sophisticated looking as well as being really pretty and coifed. I realized this probably wasn’t really that odd because Delia didn’t look like your stereotypical witch. But then again, neither did I. We wore normal clothes and drove normal cars. I mean, none of us dressed all in black or rode around on brooms. We preferred to blend in rather than stand out. Standing out might mean questioning, which most witches want to avoid. And, besides, who really wants to dress like a witch? All that black? Can you imagine how hot you’d get in the summers? “Delia!” one of the women exclaimed and ran to hug her. “Oh, hello, Fawn,” Delia said and gave her a quick hug before pulling back. “Now let me introduce the guest of honor. This is Clementine. Clementine Harmon.” They all turned to stare at me, nodding slightly to themselves. Then, one by one, they introduced themselves. They were all in their late thirties or early forties and all wearing very nice and expensive looking clothes. One of the women even had a pair of designer stilettos on, which she would take off before we began. “I’m Fawn,” she said. “Of course, you know that already.” “I’m Justine,” the other lady said. “Nice to finally meet you.” “She’s beautiful,” the man breathed. “Oh, pardon my manners; I was raised in a barn. I’m Rex.”
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The women turned to stare at him, shaking their heads slightly. I felt very uncomfortable, mainly because all of this was so new to me and everyone here acted like it was old hat. I forced a smile and said, “Well, nice to meet y’all. So, we’re going to get rid of some demons, right?” They nodded slightly and smiled a little. I nodded and said, “Well, what do you need me to do?” Delia said, “Just hang tight, Clementine. We’re not quite ready yet.” Then the “adults” talked amongst themselves. I felt left out and said, “Can I do anything?” “Rest,” Rex said, smiling at me. “Reserve your energy for right now.” I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and smiled back. “Well, let me know if I can do anything. I’ll just be…over here if you need me.” I retreated to a corner of the cave and observed them. They continued to whisper amongst themselves for a while. I was starting to get bored and wondered if this was some kind of practical joke. The cauldron was a little much. I looked around then wondered where Alden was. Wasn’t he just here? I was about to say something when, all of a sudden, another man—a much younger man, around my age—came racing into the room. “Sorry I’m late. I got lost.” Everyone turned to him and smiled like he was a celebrity or something. Fawn even clapped her hands together and said, “Well, you’re here now.” I stared at him for a moment. He was very handsome, so handsome it made me feel uncomfortable to stare at him, so I looked away. Then I looked back. He seemed familiar to me, as if I knew him from somewhere but I couldn’t place him. I almost asked him if I knew him, but then thought better of it. 165
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He approached me with his hand outstretched and said very officially, “Clementine, right? I’m Logan. Logan Peterson.” I stared up at him and was struck by his eyes. They were so green and gorgeous. His hair was jet black and slightly wavy. He wore it a little long, just around his ears and a hand came up to push it out of his eyes in a boyish way. As I stared at him, I thought, He is the exact opposite of Knute. I shuddered as soon as I had the thought. He offered his outstretched hand to me again, waiting for me to shake it. I shook it lamely and tried not to blush. Why he was having this effect on me was beyond me. Maybe it was because he was so good looking. Or, maybe it was because I wasn’t around that many men around my own age. “I’ve heard so much about you,” he said. “Oh?” I said, wishing he wouldn’t talk to me. I didn’t talk to many men, let alone men who were so young and fabulous looking. I mean, I did talk to men, I was just never around any that interested me. I froze. What was I thinking? Obviously, there was Knute, who I was in love with but never saw. It struck me as odd that since I’d first fallen for Knute, I hadn’t even looked at another guy. But this guy, Logan, made me look twice. I shook myself. I was getting too overly emotionally invested here. And for what? Nothing. I was in love with a great man. At least, I thought he was a great man. I mean… Oh, good God. I didn’t know what I was thinking. I was just reacting. He smiled at me and backed away, as if he understood he was making me uncomfortable. He went to the other witches and made nice conversation while I sat in the corner and felt like an oddball. “Clementine,” Delia said after a few more minutes of this. “Come join us. We’re ready.” My heart began to beat wildly, but I stood and went over to the pot. This was it. 166
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“Hold onto the stick with us,” Rex said and moved so I could squeeze in. The stick? I could see now that they were talking about an actual stick. It was, well, a stick, like one you’d find in the woods somewhere. It was long and gnarled and really pretty cool looking. I leaned in and grabbed onto the stick like everyone else. “Just lean over and stare into the pot,” Justine said and smiled gently at me. “And hold tight, this is going to be a bumpy ride.” Everyone laughed. I didn’t get the joke, but I chuckled too, even though I had no idea what they were laughing at. I stared into the pot. I expected to see some chicken feet or maybe some stew items floating around inside it. But I didn’t see that. I saw a deep, deep well or, rather, an image of a deep well. I knew it wasn’t real, but that’s what we were staring at. God only knows how deep that well was and leaning over the pot like that made me more than a little nervous, even if it wasn’t real. The pot was filled with black water and as soon as we were all in position, it began to boil madly. “Holy shit,” I breathed and glanced at Delia. “What’s this?” “Clementine,” she said. “Just hold tight. Don’t move and don’t look away.” I held tight, then felt someone staring at me. I glanced up and my eyes met Logan’s. I blushed and looked quickly down. I heard him chuckle. And then, all of a sudden, I heard the roars. “What’s that?” I asked, in a panic. “It’s them,” Rex said. “Don’t let them scare you. You can’t get scared now, and you can’t let go.” “Huh?” I asked and decided to test it. I tried to open my hands but they wouldn’t budge. Something had taken over and all I could do was hang on for the ride. I suddenly understood the joke—hang on it’s going to be a bumpy ride. They were right about that.
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The roars kept escalating as the demons were called. And then the witches around me began to chant, “Come one, come all, come
dead or come alive, come one come all, come dead or come without your head, come one come all, come dead or come alone, but come, come to us…” I was totally out of my element. I thought it would be easier than this and that I wouldn’t be so scared. But I was scared, more scared than I’d ever been. “Join in,” Logan whispered to me. So, I joined in, “Come one, come all, come dead or come alive,
come one come all, come dead or come without your head, come one come all, come dead or come alone, but come, come to us…” The earth beneath us began to shake violently. The pot threatened to tip over. “Hold!” Rex yelled over the roars and the pot corrected itself. I stared at him, scared out of my wits, then I looked down at the ground and was astonished to see that all of our feet were up in the air. We were literally hanging onto the stick and flying in the air. It was like a tornado had swept us up and all we had to ground us was the stick. It was the strangest thing I’d ever witnessed and everyone else acted like it was business as usual. But that’s how forceful stirring this pot was. “Into the pot, Clementine!” Fawn yelled at me. “Stay focused! Stare into the pot!” I stared into the pot and almost jumped out of my skin and ran away. The demons were coming up through the pot. And, boy, were they ugly! They also stank. They were huge things with horns and claws. They wore old, shabby clothes that were barely hanging on their skeleton-like bodies. And they were pissed off as hell at us. “Witch!” one of them roared. “You will die for this!”
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I almost cracked up. That thing sounded like something from a B-horror movie. This was too much. I think I was in overload or something because I began to lose focus. Logan yelled, “Concentrate, Clementine! Concentrate!” “Hold!” Delia shouted. “Hold!” “Fuck!” I yelped and held on tight, though I couldn’t have let go even if I’d wanted to. But then, one of the things jumped out of the pot and rose above us. His mouth opened and he dripped this putrid mustard-colored saliva that hit the tops of our heads as he flew around us. It was disgusting and terrifying at the same time. “Witches!” he roared. “Dead witches!” “Ignore him!” Rex yelled. “He’s not the one we want!”
There was one we wanted? “Die witches!” the demon yelled. I heard a thunderous crash and looked over my shoulder. There was another one that seemed to come out of nowhere and he was on the warpath. “Dead!” I yelled just as he was about to strike Fawn over the head. He died in an instant and fell to the floor of the cave. Fawn smiled her thanks. I nodded and got back on task. “Hold!” Delia said as the cave shook even more. “He’s coming!” I wanted to ask who “he” was, but didn’t think it was good time. So when “he” rose to the top, my mouth fell open. “He” was a human. And he wasn’t a bad looking fellow, either. He was older and dressed in a nice three-piece suit. “Clementine,” Fawn said. “Concentrate.” I tried to concentrate even more, if that were possible. “Rex, Rex,” the man said, shaking his head at him. “How dare you?” Rex glared at him and then, all of a sudden, he leaped into the air and grabbed at the man. They tumbled in the air as they fought, 169
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punching and hitting at each other like they were in a death match. And, in a way, they were. They fought tooth and nail until Rex wrestled him to the floor of the cave. He held him down, then pulled a big knife from a holster on his hip, then he cut the demon’s head off. And, just like that, everything stopped. The roaring stopped. The demons disappeared and the cave became still. Everyone came down from the air and our feet hit the soft sand in unison. I found my hands release themselves from the stick and I stumbled back from the pot, my heart beating wildly inside my chest. Uh, wow. Uh, wow-oh-fucking-wow. But then, I felt nauseous and almost threw up. I held my stomach and then it hit me again and I ran to a corner of the cave and threw up. I was quite disgusted with myself and extremely embarrassed. “Are you okay?” Justine said, coming over to me. “We need you, Clementine!” Delia yelled at Rex’s side. I ran over to see that he was bleeding profusely from a cut across his neck. I hadn’t even noticed he’d been wounded during the fight. But then, it ceased to matter as the feeling came over me again. I sat down beside him and held my hand over his neck and said, “Heal.” And then, just like that, he was healed. I prepared for the feeling of exhaustion that I’d began to believe would accompany this, but it didn’t come this time. I actually felt really good, invigorated. And the nausea had passed, too. He sat up and coughed and tried to say something, but couldn’t. He coughed again and said hoarsely, “Thanks, Clementine.” “You’re welcome,” I said and smiled at him, then I noticed everyone was staring at me with awe. “Wow,” Justine said. “I mean, wow! I’ve never seen that before. That was way cool!” “I’m impressed as hell,” Logan said. 170
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I blushed and smiled at everyone, suddenly feeling like I belonged. And it was a good feeling that lasted until I looked at the dead man in the corner. I asked, “Did we kill him?” “He wasn’t human, dear,” Justine said. “He wasn’t?” “Sometimes they look like humans but they’re really demons. Occasionally, humans align with demons which ultimately turns them into demons but they still look human,” she said. “Or, to put it another way, humans can turn themselves into demons.” “How?” “It’s an exchange,” she said. “Sometimes a witch and a demon will get together and exchange blood. Gross sounding, I know. And when they do this, the blood makes the demon more human so they can pass through society more easily and it makes the witch stronger, in a demonic sense.” “Why?” “Power,” she said. “Demons have a lot of power and some witches want that power and they go, as they say, bad.” “How do they do that?” I asked. “How do they turn into demons?” “Blood,” Fawn said and smiled at me. “Like I said, they drink their blood.” “Like a vampire?” I asked, disgusted. She laughed and said, “In a way, yes. It’s nothing that you have to worry about. Not with the company you keep, anyway,” she said and nodded at Delia who smiled at her. “Right,” I said. “So do witches normally do this?” “Not often,” Logan said. “But sometimes.” “Why?”
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“To get power, like I said,” Fawn said. “And they get a lot of power. An ordinary witch can turn into a super-being with that kind of power.” “What do they do with all that power?” I asked. “Destroy themselves,” Delia said. I thought about that. Why would someone who already had quite a bit of power want even more? Why was what they had not enough? Being a witch was tricky business and though I knew I had quite a bit of power, the thought of having more wasn’t appealing. Having power like I had came with a lot of responsibility. “Oh, by the way, thanks for the save, Clementine,” Fawn said and patted me on the shoulder. “You did an excellent job.” “Thanks,” I said and blushed a little then said, for some reason, “Uh, sorry I threw up. I didn’t mean to gross y’all out or anything.” I froze. Did I just say that? Now Logan would… Wait a minute. Wait one minute. It didn’t matter what he thought of me. No. I just didn’t want him to think of me as the girl who hurled while stirring pots. Oh, good God. My mind was fucking with me. I loved Knute, I loved Knute, I loved Knute. Logan smiled at me and interrupted my thoughts by saying, “Everyone throws up after their first time.” “It’s a normal reaction,” Justine said and nodded. “It’s like when you try to run a 5k race when you’re out of shape. You’re just not used to it.” “Oh, okay,” I replied. Now please, change the subject. Please? “I think that will do it, ladies and gentleman,” Delia said, then turned to the man/demon in the corner. “Disappear!” He vanished. I shook my head and said, “Wow, that was cool. When can we do it again?” 172
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Everyone laughed at me and Rex said, “Not for a few days, at least, Clementine. We’re a bit drained, you know?” He paused and said, “You’re drained, too, right?” No, not really. I wasn’t. Actually I felt invigorated, like I wanted to kick some more demon ass. And, oddly enough, I wanted to go out and party. I wanted to dance. I wanted to just keep this intense feeling of being alive going for as long as I could. I noticed everyone staring at me. What was it? Delia studied me and said, “You don’t feel drained, do you?” I shook my head. “No, I feel pumped.” Everyone stared at me with what I perceived as a little jealousy. “Well, she is Clementine’s granddaughter,” Fawn said, then asked me. “Oh, how is your mother, dear?” “Fine,” I said. She said, “We went to grade school together. We were good friends. Are you back in the Savannah house?” I nodded. “Good, tell her I just might stop by for a little visit.” “Will do,” I said. “We have to go,” Delia said and laid a hand on my shoulder. “Bye,” everyone said in unison. “See you around, Clementine,” Logan said and waved a little to me. For some reason, I blushed, but managed to tell him bye as I hurried out of the cave with Delia. We walked in silence for a while, then I looked around and said, “Where the hell is Alden? He wasn’t even there!” Delia smiled softly and said, “Alden just got to accompany us here. He wasn’t allowed to join in. Alden’s a spirit, Clementine. You understand that, don’t you?”
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“Yes,” I said. “But isn’t he…? Oh, shit, he’s gone and he didn’t even say goodbye!” “As you get older, you will realize that most people, spirits included, hate goodbyes.” “Yeah,” I said, suddenly getting it. “I’m sorta glad he did it like that. But he’ll be back occasionally, won’t he?” She nodded. “Of course. And if you ever need him, just call out for him.” “I will,” I said. “Hey, let me ask you something. What did we just do?” “We got rid of the bad guys,” she said with a wink. I thought about it and said, “So basically, we extracted those demons from the bowels of the earth?” “Yeah, kinda. It’s more like we rebalanced good and evil,” she said and laughed. “Thank God that’s over.” I was glad, too. “So, that man wasn’t a man, right?” “Not anymore he wasn’t. He was a man, once,” she said. “He had turned demon. He’s taken care of now. Don’t worry about him.” I nodded. “Okay.” We walked in silence for a few minutes and then we were back to the opening of the cave and then we were in the swamp. It was early morning and the sun was trying to peek through the overgrowth of the swamp, without much luck. “Ready for some pancakes?” Delia asked. “I am,” I said and smiled. She snapped her fingers and all of sudden we were in a bustling pancake house. We were sitting in a booth and there was an icecold soda filled with ice in front of me and a steaming cup of coffee in front of Delia.
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“I saved that for you,” she said and winked. “The teleporting. I knew you wouldn’t want to walk out of that old swamp after your big night.” Before I could respond, a waitress swept by and deposited two big stacks of pancakes in front of us. I grinned from ear to ear. God, I loved magic! The waitress then sat down another two plates of bacon and eggs. I loved being a witch! Life was wonderful! Delia leaned over and whispered, “Sometimes, it is indeed good to be a witch, Clementine. Don’t you agree?” “I agree,” I said, ready to dig into my short stack. “Especially when it involves pancakes.” “With maple syrup,” she said and held up a little decanter. “Oh, it might be best that we keep the whole teleporting thing to ourselves, okay?” “Why?” I asked and took the decanter. “Well,” she said and picked up her coffee. “Not everyone can do it and it’s good to be able to do with without everyone knowing.” I completely understood that. “Don’t worry,” I said. “My lips are sealed.” Then I took a bite of the heaven that is pancakes. With maple syrup.
Three Black Birds Another year passed but I wasn’t called to help stir any more pots, though I was dying to do so. Being involved like that gave me so much more confidence in my ability as a witch. But, unfortunately, there wasn’t much going on that I was needed for, though I was ready to battle at any time. Not many witches go rogue, it seemed.
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But that gave me time to live a somewhat normal life. I got a job in downtown Savannah working as a receptionist for a small insurance agency and Mom went from being a realtor to managing the real estate firm where she worked. While my mom and I made decent money, it still wasn’t enough to put in a new heating and air unit for the big old dilapidated house. “Let’s sell this damn place,” I said one particularly hot day as I waved my hand back and forth across my face for some air. “No,” she said. “It was my mother’s house.” “I am going to hold a séance and ask her if she would mind, then,” I said. “You will not.” “Why not?” I asked and got up from the couch and opened the window. “Because she wouldn’t come to a séance.” Well, that stumped me. I didn’t press her for an explanation, but instead said, “Well, maybe I’ll just move out, then.” She eyed me. “No, you will not.” “Mom, listen,” I said and sat back down. “I’m almost twentyfour years old now. If I stay here much longer, we risk becoming like Grey Gardens.” “What the hell does that mean?” I said, “Grey Gardens, you know little Edie and big Edie, the mother and daughter who lived together in that old house in the Hamptons? The film?” She shook her head. “I don’t know what you kids are watching these days, Clemmy, but you’re not moving out.” “Why not?” “Because I don’t like being alone.” “What about when I get married?”
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She stared at me sadly. “Oh, Clementine, let’s not talk about that. Of course, I do want that for you and of course I want grandbabies, but right now, let’s just be calm and carry on, okay?” “Whatever,” I said. “But I want my own place sometime.” “I’m sure you do.” Just then, a big wind came out of nowhere from the open window and into the room and rattled the chandelier, which almost fell, once again. We both ducked and waited for it to fall. It didn’t. It just creaked recklessly in the wind before it came to a slow halt. I groaned and stood up. “Shit!” I said and raised my hand. “I’m fixing that son of a bitch!” “No,” she said. “I’m gonna fix it.” I rolled my eyes and sat back down on the couch, picked up a magazine and flipped though it. I glanced out the window and saw three black birds resting on a branch of the big oak tree in the front yard. I studied them for a moment, feeling that I should shoo them away, but then Mom came back into the room with a ladder. “I was thinking, Clemmy, that you should get a boyfriend,” she said and opened the ladder and situated it under the chandelier. “What? Like yours?” I asked and flipped a page of the magazine, then set it down. “Mom, get down from there! You’re gonna break your neck!” “No, I’m gonna fix this thing,” she said and climbed up to the top of the ladder. “I thought you liked Henry.” Henry was her latest boyfriend. (She’d had several since we’d moved to Savannah.) Yet, he was sticking around a lot longer than the others had. It was disconcerting to see her fall in love with someone. In a way, I was happy but in another way, I was jealous. She’s my mother—hands off, buddy! But I knew Henry made her happy and because of that, I didn’t make a fuss. In fact, I 177
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encouraged her. However, they were, disgustingly enough, all kissy-faced whenever they were around each other and she seemed to love him. And because she’d found herself a “feller,” as I liked to jokingly call him, she wanted me to find one, too. She even said we could double date! God! What a horrible thought! Of course, she failed to mention the fact that I already had a boyfriend as soon as all this nonsense cleared up. If it ever was, that is. “Mom,” I said. “Really, get down from there. Really. Now. You’re making me nervous. Stop!” “I’m almost done,” she said and tried to adjust the mount from which the chandelier hung. “Seriously, Clemmy, you need to find someone new.” I ignored her for the millionth time, though an image of Logan whizzed through my mind, as it had for the last year or so. I willed his gorgeous face away and then I heard a noise and looked out the window. There was nothing there, then I heard the wind sweep in again and this time it was so strong it made the ladder move. And then I knew something had happened. I heard it; I didn’t see it. I heard the ladder move with a screeching sound, much like nails on chalkboard. And all I heard was that sound. It sent shivers up and down my spine. And then all I saw was my mother falling from the ladder and onto the floor. She landed with a dull thump. What the hell just happened? For a few seconds, I couldn’t comprehend. It was too odd, too real. It was surreal, like I was watching it in a movie or I was having a dream about it. But what just happened? No, not that. Not that. No. No! It wasn’t happening. This wasn’t real. No. No! This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening, could it? I think I was in shock. I didn’t know what to do for a split second, but something told me to get up and run to her. She was lying on the floor looking so quiet, so peaceful. So not herself. She was always moving, always 178
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busy, always saying something, always telling me to do something. That’s when I knew she wasn’t here anymore. That’s when I knew she was gone. That’s when I think I lost it. “Mommy!” I screamed in terror, in disbelief. I raced over to her, bent down beside her and screamed again, “Mommy!” She didn’t answer. “Mommy?” I said and touched her face. “Oh, God, Mommy! Wake up!” She didn’t wake up. That’s when I knew for sure. I ignored the tears which were flowing down my cheeks and I ignored my pounding heart and the sinking feeling I had in my stomach and I ignored the sadness that was going to surround me for the rest of my life. As I ignored all of these things, I instinctively placed my hand on her neck and took in a deep breath, preparing to heal her even if it made me weak and used all of my powers. Even if it killed me, I was going to heal her. She was all I had. If I lost her, even with all of her craziness, I’d be all alone in the world. And what good is a witch to anyone if she’s all alone? “Heal,” I murmured. “Heal.” Within a nanosecond, her neck was unbroken, but she didn’t rise from the floor, she didn’t blink her eyes, she didn’t tell me to let her have some air. A feeling of overwhelming panic started at me and I almost threw up. I stopped myself, and put my hand back on her head. I’d do it. I’d heal her. Regroup—that’s what I had to do. I had to regroup. There was something amiss, though. Something strange was going on. I could feel it. I didn’t know what it was. “Alive,” I said, then took a breath. “Al—” I was suddenly thrown backwards by an unknown powerful force. I skidded across the floor before I bumped into the wall. My head hit the wall so hard I almost blacked out. I shook my head and 179
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opened my eyes, focusing back on my mother, who was still lying without motion on the floor.
What the hell was that? I didn’t care. I had to get back to my mother. I had to heal her. I started to crawl across the floor, but something was stopping me. I literally could not get to my mother. What the hell was it? “Leave!” I roared, quite sure something had entered the room and caused all this. “Whatever you are, leave!” I looked around but nothing happened. There was nothing in the air but silence. And then, out of nowhere, she came. She was bent at my mother’s side and she was staring at her with a look of love and longing. Her long black hair covered her face from me. She wore a calico dress, the kind I’d seen her wear only in pictures. But it was the hair that made me recognize her and Delia’s words that described her came back to me, “She said, ‘A woman’s glory is in her hair. Never cut your hair.’” I didn’t say anything at first. I didn’t know what to say. What does one say to their dead grandmother? I just sat there in astonishment and awe. She would heal her! She would make her alive again! “I can’t,” she said and turned to me. “I can’t, Clementine. God has taken her and neither one of us can ever bring her back.” I stared at her but couldn’t process what she was saying. I stared at her face and was astonished to see my own face. My mother had always told me she and I looked a lot alike. While it wasn’t like looking into a mirror at her face, it was like I was looking at someone very, very close to me. She was beautiful, even in death. Her skin wasn’t old and wrinkled, either. It was smooth and olive colored. Her beautiful brown eyes stared at me with such sadness and remorse. 180
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“Shh,” she said and got up and came over to me, then sat down next to me. She brushed the hair out of my face and smiled at me. “I’ve been waiting so long to see you, Clementine.” I nodded, then choked on my tears. “But can’t you make her better? Can’t you bring Mommy back?” “She was my daughter,” she said. “Don’t you think that if I could, I would? But I can’t. We can’t bring back the dead.” “No,” I said. “No! You do something! You bring her back!” She shook her head and said, “No, darling, that won’t be happening.” “But it’s not fair!” I screamed and started to sob. “It’s not fair!” “No, it’s not,” she murmured. I got up and started to race to my mother, but she held me back. I screamed in anguish, pleading with her to bring her back to life. But she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. That wasn’t our power. That wasn’t in our hands. That was just the way it was. I was so consumed with pain, I couldn’t think straight. She pulled me down on the floor and made me sit still, though I was shaking with rage and fear. “Shh,” she said and took me in her arms. “Shh, Clementine, shh… Your mother has gone to God, now let her be. Bury her body and let her be, Clementine. Shh…” I fell into her, breathing in her woodsy smell. She smelled like pine trees and fresh sunshine. She smelled like hope to me. She was all I had in that moment. With her by my side, I wasn’t alone. And that’s what I feared the most. The thought of being alone sickened me. “Shh,” she consoled. “Shh…” She held me as I cried, as I cried for my mother, who had gone away from me. I thought of all the bad things I’d done to upset her
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and hated myself for it. I thought of the way she tried to protect me, the way she wanted me to do better. “She’s not angry with you,” my grandmother told me. “And you will never be alone. You will always have us looking over you. Whenever you need us, you can call for us.” I started to ask her why she’d shown up today, but then I knew. I was crossing a line trying to bring my mother back and she had to step in and stop it. But the pain had made it a viable choice. The pain made me do it. I didn’t know if I could take the pain. It was choking me, making me feel so useless and terrible. “Shh,” she said. “One of us will always be here for you.” I kept crying but then I began to simmer down and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep. When I awoke, my grandmother was gone and my mother was still dead.
A silent ambulance came to take my mother away. I’d go tomorrow and arrange her funeral. I closed the door as soon as the ambulance was out of sight and then I turned on the house, the house that my mother had loved but had ultimately killed her. I squared my shoulders and went into the living room. I glared at the chandelier and hissed, “Destruct.” That was the wrong thing to do. The thing exploded. It came apart in a million pieces, throwing itself all over the walls. I ducked and held my head until it was finished destroying itself, then I said, “Dissolve,” and it dissolved, every single piece of it vanished. The only trace that was left of it was the scratches on my face. I stood there and stared around the room and began to sob. I cried so hard, I found myself in a heap on the floor. I cried until my eyes were dry, then I cried some more. I could not stop crying.
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The chandelier was gone but that wasn’t good enough. I stood and began to command things to destroy themselves. I began to tear the house to shreds. A priceless sculpture was smashed to bits. A knickknack Mom once said was worth over four-hundred dollars was thrown against the wall where it fell apart. A priceless painting was ripped to shreds. Soon, the whole room was in shambles and I started ripping the plaster off the walls and ceiling. Once the plaster was off, I started on the electrical wiring, shredding it in my rage, barely dodging the sparks that flew out of the live wires. A voice came out of nowhere and yelled, “Stop it!” I ignored the voice and kept on my task. I kept destroying the room because I wanted nothing to be left of it. “Now! Stop it!” I kept ignoring him and kept working, intending to tear apart the whole damn place. “Stop it, Clementine!” It was Knute. He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. “Stop it!” I slapped my way out of his arms. “Oh, now you come! Where have you been for the last seven fucking years, Knute? Where have you been while I’ve been here?” “You know we weren’t supposed to see each other.” “Fuck you!” I yelled. “Fuck you for not being here to help me when I needed you! I fucking hate you! I hate you!” He seemed momentarily shocked by my words, but then shook his head sadly. “It’s okay to hate me right now.” “Fuck you!” I screamed. “Get out! You’re never around when I need you!” “If I had known, I would have been here,” he said. “I’m here now.” “You hated her,” I said, now crying. “You hated my mother!” 183
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“No, I didn’t!” he exclaimed. “Clementine, it’s okay. I’m here now.” “I hate you!” I said, seething through my tears. “I hate you so much! I hate that you tore us apart over and over and if it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t have come to this hellhole!” “I’m sorry,” he said backing away. “I’ll leave you.” “Yeah, just leave like every man always leaves! Leave me like my father left my mother and leave me like she’s left me! Leave me all alone in this fucking world! Leave me! Go ahead!” He stared at me numbly, not knowing what to do. That enraged me and I ran at him. I beat at him, sobbing. He pulled me to his chest and forced me to let him hold me. I sobbed horribly and wanted to die. I told him that. “No, you don’t,” he said. I stared up at him. How many times had I cursed my mother over him? How much pain had I brought her over my need to be with him? I was an awful, awful person. “Shh,” he murmured. “Shh.” He placed his hand over my eyes and I felt, for the first time in a long time, a sense of peace. I kept crying but the rage was dissipating. He held me tight and pulled me down on the floor, where he forced my head to his shoulder. He pushed my hair back and caressed my face. He whispered in my ear that he’d never leave me again, that everything was fine now, that that’s what he’d come to tell me, that he had no idea he’d be walking into this and that he was sorry he hadn’t called first. He was sorry, so, so sorry about all of this. “But we can be together now,” he said softly. “Really?” I asked. “We can be together?” He nodded.
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I stared at him and burst into tears again. I kept crying, wondering when I’d run out of tears, but they kept coming. Soon, I was hyperventilating and he had to force me to lean over and breathe deeply. “Shh,” he said and pulled me back to him. “Oh, Clementine, I’m so sorry. I am so, so sorry.” I was sorry, too. For everything.
Moving On “I’m selling it,” I said the next day to Knute. “I’m selling this house.” “Well, you better fix the living room first,” he told me. I nodded. “But you know, you shouldn’t sell it,” he said and looked around the destroyed room. “It’s in your blood.” “It’s caused a lot of people a lot of misery,” I said. “I don’t want it anymore.” “Oh,” he said. “I have to go now,” I said. “Would you come with me?” He nodded. “Of course.” I smiled. It was so good to have him around. He went with me to plan the funeral and stayed with me every step of the way during the ceremony. It was a simple ceremony in the small church my mother had attended when she was a little girl. It was a small, quiet and elegant service, just the way Mom would have liked it. My mother didn’t have many living relatives, so it was just some witches, including Fawn, Rex and Justine, Delia, Knute and I and a few other people, neighbors mostly.
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Delia and Knute held both of my hands through the service. Delia sobbed, as did I, but I felt really numb, too. I knew it was just the aftershock of losing the person I most cared for in the world, so I didn’t pay the feeling too much attention. I also didn’t pay much attention to the service. I know the preacher said a lot of nice things about my mother, though he didn’t know her, not really. Mom’s boyfriend, Henry, was in an awful state. He kept to himself and gave me a brief hug before retreating to the back of the small church. I thought about the church, then about my mother when she was a little girl. Her father had brought her here every Sunday as he’d been raised a strict Baptist. I almost laughed. What would that have been like? A strict Baptist marrying a witch? No drinking and no cussing. But from what my mother had said about her parents, there had been plenty of both of that. I pulled my hands back and squeezed my eyes shut as a memory of my mother came to me. It wasn’t my memory, it was hers and I could feel that she was sending it to me. She was a little girl dressed in a white frilly dress. She had white lace gloves on her little hands. She was standing in the foyer waiting on her father to come downstairs to take her to church. That day, she was going to be baptized as she’d been saved the previous Sunday. She waited patiently and looked up the stairs in anticipation. As soon as her father came to the top of the stairs, she broke out into a big smile and she smiled because following her father was her mother who was dressed in her Sunday best. She never attended church, for obvious reasons, but on this day, she was going and she was going for her little girl. That little girl didn’t know how hard she’d have to work once she grew up, did she? I opened my eyes and stared at a bouquet of red roses my father had sent. He couldn’t come, he couldn’t make it, as usual, but he’d 186
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sent some flowers and a nice card to let me know he was there for me if I needed him. I’d never needed him. I’d always had my mother and now that my mother was gone, would he be there for me? Probably not. I’d heard he was drinking again. Suddenly, I felt panicked. I wanted to run. I wanted to flee. I wanted the preacher to shut up. I almost got up and left the church but I forced myself to stay. The pine walls and slick, wood floor were suffocating me. The hymn book that was open on my lap felt heavy and confining. Just then, Knute took my hand, kissed it, then squeezed it. I turned to him and he smiled gently at me. On my other side, Delia took my other hand and squeezed it, then patted my shoulder. I suddenly realized I wasn’t alone. I suddenly felt like I could handle it, though putting my mother into the ground was going to be hard. After the service, we all got into our cars and they put my mother into a hearse. We followed it to the small graveyard that belonged to her family and there they put her in the ground right beside my grandmother. I almost lost it as they lowered the casket, but Knute and Delia stood on either side of me and held me up. When the service was over, I broke away from them and walked away. They let me go and I walked over my relatives graves until I came to a small, wooded area. There I leaned up against a tree and could finally breathe. Out of nowhere, Alden came up to me as a cat, curling around my legs. I bent down and picked him up, hugging him to me, so glad that he was there for me. I held him for some time before he pawed me, indicating that he wanted to be let go. I pushed my face against his and said, “Thank you, Alden. I love you,” then I sat him back down and he disappeared. Everyone was waiting on me. I straightened up and smoothed my hair back and looked over towards the grave. That’s when I knew it was true and she wasn’t coming back. I had an 187
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overwhelming urge to run to it and try to raise my mother from the dead. But then, I saw her, my grandmother. She was sitting beside the grave and she was speaking to the casket, to my mother. I studied her for a moment until she glanced up and saw me. Then she smiled and waved her hand, telling me to go on. I nodded and turned away. When I turned back, she was gone. I got a lot of money for the house and property. The lawyer who handled it told me it was the largest sale in the county’s history. “That’s great,” I said. “When can I get it?” With the sale of the estate, combining the sale of all the antiques inside of the house, I was a very wealthy young woman. So, the girl who went from having very little became the girl who had a lot and that was a good feeling. I’d never have to worry about money again. I sometimes wondered why mother insisted on keeping that old house because it caused us to go without so much, but, as she said, she had her reasons. Well, I had my reasons for selling it. I also got a kick out of knowing the house was going to be demolished. The way I looked at it, that damn house had killed my mother and it deserved to be destroyed. Knute stayed with me throughout everything. He stood by my side and held my hand. He let me cry on his shoulder until I could cry no more. It was so hard mourning my mother. It was the hardest thing I’d ever been through. But soon, the sun began to peek through the clouds and I could start living again. My mother may have died, but she was still with me. She would always be with me, in spirit. I could feel her sometimes, but I never saw her.
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I didn’t really feel alone, not with Knute being around. And also, I was surprised to find out that Delia had bought a big farm outside of town. She didn’t even tell me, Knute just mentioned it one day. “When did that happen?” I asked. “She was in Louisiana.” He shrugged and said, “I don’t know. She always wanted to live here and I guess since your mom passed, she wants to be closer to you.” “Oh, that’s sweet,” I said. “But she didn’t have to move for me.” “She knows that.” “We should go visit her,” I said. “I haven’t spoken to her since… You know.” “Oh, we’ll go,” he said and smiled at me. “Let’s just wait a few days.” I stared at him. “Okay.” “What do you want to do now?” he asked. “Well, since I’ve received my money from the estate…” “Yeah?” he asked and grinned. I smiled up at him and said, “Travel.” “And how will we get there?” he asked. “On our brooms, of course,” I said and we laughed. It knew that it would be hard to pack up and go, but I knew I had to. I felt like I was dishonoring my mother by leaving only a month or so after her funeral, but I had a feeling she would have wanted it that way. She even once said to me, “When I’m gone, don’t sit around and cry, Clemmy. I’ve always hated criers.” She paused and thought for a moment. “But you can cry a little, you know? Cry a little for your old mother, but not a lot.” I’d cried more than a lot. And now it was time to travel.
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Traveling Knute and I set off to Europe in style. Of course, we didn’t fly across the Atlantic on brooms, but on an airplane. We had a really good time on all my money, though he begged me to let him pay for it out of his trust fund. But I insisted on footing the bill because I wanted the say on where we would go. We traveled first class, which was odd for me as I’d always had to budget every penny I’d ever had. I felt guilty for overspending on expensive suites, even though most witches traveled like this all the time—and never paid a dime. So, it wasn’t so bad that I was wasting so much money. Besides, Knute’s father, who was a parttime money manager, had invested part of my money. Now I was making money without even doing anything and I loved the idea of that. He told me if I was careful, I could probably live quite nicely on the interest alone. Our first stop was in London. I thought the whole city with its neat cabs and hectic streets was the coolest thing. I felt like such a tourist because I insisted we go do all the touristy things like the Tower of London and Harrods. I insisted we have a pint of ale and fish and chips in almost every pub we went by. On one such night, we were in a pub and getting hammered. The place was very busy and we were squeezed in between these big guys at the bar. We talked with them and were having a good time when the door opened and a cool breeze blew in. I glanced over my shoulder and met the eyes of a male witch. He stood stock-still, then smiled and nodded at me. We didn’t say anything to each other but it was nice to know that there were witches everywhere. “Did you see him?” Knute asked.
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“Yeah,” I said. “Funny, huh?” “Funny how?” I took a breath and said, “Funny that we can recognize each other like that. It’s just like you know. I mean, I don’t see many witches out and about, but when I do, it’s good to know that we recognize each other. Kind of like we’re in a secret society or something.” “We are in a secret society,” Knute said and smiled at me. I grinned at him and pulled his face to mine and we kissed. The guys we were sitting next to cleared their throats and got up to leave. I smiled at them and kept kissing Knute. Then we paid our tab and left the pub, heading to our hotel. Then I suddenly began to feel nervous. As soon as he opened the door of our hotel, I turned to him and said, “I feel strange.” “Strange?” he asked. I looked around the exquisite room and said, “Well, you know why. It’s weird. It’s almost like we’re on our honeymoon or something.” He threw his head back and laughed loudly. “Oh, okay. But, hey, if you like, we could be on our honeymoon.” “Uh, yeah,” I said, hoping to avoid the topic. He took my hand and said, “I mean it. If you want to, we can get married.” I didn’t know what to think. I did want to marry him, just not now. Too much had happened and the fact that it was not that long ago that my mother had passed away was still tearing at my heart. I knew it probably always would, but the wound was too new. When I didn’t respond, he said, “It’s just a suggestion.” I nodded and looked away from him and thought about how he’d slept in the bed with me every night since he’d come back, but he hadn’t made a move to touch me. He was waiting on me to give 191
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me the green-light, to let him know he could move in. I had been so grief-ridden that sex had been the last thing on my mind, though I knew he wanted it and he wanted it bad. And so did I. I wanted it now. I was ready now. “Let’s not talk about it right now,” I said and smiled at him. “Come here.” “Clementine,” he said. “I’m not going to force anything. Whenever you’re ready, we can do it, or not. I just love being with you so much it doesn’t matter.” “Liar,” I said. He grinned and leaned against the wall. I sat on the bed and tucked my legs under me, “I haven’t had sex but one time in my life and that was with you. It’s almost like I’m a virgin again. An old virgin. It’s almost embarrassing.” He nodded. “You’re not old by any stretch if the imagination. You’re young and hot.” “Have you had sex?” I asked and stared him dead in the eye. He shrugged. I looked away. “I don’t want to know. I want it to be like it was with us the first time.” I looked back at him. “Don’t put so much pressure on us, Witch Little,” he said and chuckled. I smiled and shook my head at him, then held my hand out. He came over to me and bent down. I raised my face to his and our lips just seemed to melt into each others. Soon, we were kissing hard, slipping our tongues in and out of each others’ mouths like we’d done it for years. He pushed me back on the bed and climbed over me. I ran my hands down his sides and arched up, wanting another kiss.
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“I just want you to know,” he said. “That I have missed you like nothing else. I never wanted to be apart from you and I thought about you each and every day.” I nodded. “I thought about you everyday, too.” “Sometimes I thought I would go crazy thinking about not being with you,” he said. “It was painful.” “I know.” “I love you, Clementine,” he said and kissed my forehead, then my temples. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” “Oh, I love you, too,” I said and grabbed his face and kissed him, running my tongue over his nice, soft lips. He began to run his hands all over my body, taking his time to make sure he hit all the spots. Soon, my clothes were off and I lay naked beneath him, beneath his intense gaze. The way he looked at me made me feel like a woman who was wanted, wanted by this man and who would be taken by him. Then came the kisses, soft at first, on my naked flesh. Kisses that made me gasp and want more. Kisses that made me part my legs and push his head down between them. He went willing and with passion. He kissed me there, like he kissed the rest of my body. He kissed softly at first, teasing me, making me moan, then he kissed me harder, and then he began to suck gently. I let out an intense moan as he kept kissing the same spot, as he sucked at it and before I could stop myself, I had lost control and I wanted it. I wanted to come and come hard. I was almost bucking up from the bed. It was so intense. It felt so good, I wanted more but I had to ride the first orgasm out. And once it was gone, I had to get another one. I wrapped my legs around him once he came back to me and helped push him into me. And then we began to make love. He pressed into me, taking me as I’d needed to be taken for years. I 193
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couldn’t get enough and found myself wriggling and squirming beneath him as he grabbed onto my breasts and sucked at my neck. And then I felt it, the second orgasm. It came at me sooner than I expected but then again, Knute’s was coming at him, too. We held onto each other as tightly as we could and rode them out. After we done, we fell away from each other and caught out breath. We didn’t speak for a moment, then I stared over at him, feeling the love I had wrap me up in its arms and hug me tight. I leaned over and kissed his cheek, then fell back, smiling at him. He winked and smiled back. “You know,” he said. “You’re a pretty good lay.” I slapped his arm playfully. “That is the most insensitive thing you could have said to me!” “Are you being facetious?” he asked, leaning back to stare into my eyes. “I might be,” I said and grinned at him. “But ‘pretty good lay’? Come on.” “What am I supposed to say?” he asked and nuzzled my neck. “You are like fire and burn right through me?” I stared at him from the corner of my eyes. “Yeah, maybe just stick with the insensitive comments.” He threw his head back and laughed loudly. I laughed too, then wrapped my arms around his neck. It was so good to feel complete again and with him. I felt whole. I felt like somebody and that’s because I loved him more than anything. It seemed as though I’d been holding my breath since we’d been separated. It was good to breathe again.
Out next stop was Paris, France. As I stood under the Eiffel Tower, I felt so small. The thing was huge! It was probably bigger 194
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than all of Webster, Tennessee, if all the buildings and houses were stacked on top of each other. I said this to Knute who said, “Yeah, but that wouldn’t be hard.” “Smartass,” I said and walked over to a bench and sat down. I looked around at all the people and was amazed that I was actually here, in Paris, France. It was almost surreal. “Remember how your mom first thought we were deadbeats?” Knute said and pointed. “There are some real deadbeats.” I stared at a woman and two men who were dressed shabbily and harassing tourists for money. They had five or six small children with them. “How do you know that?” “I just know that Paris is full of them,” he said then chuckled. “I can’t believe your mom thought that we were deadbeats.” “Yeah, it’s kinda funny now when you think about it,” I said and shrugged. “But, no, Mom didn’t actually think you were deadbeats; she knew you were witches. She just didn’t want me to know that.” “Figures,” he said and nodded slightly. Just then, one of the children, a little girl, stumbled and fell. She looked up and screamed in pain. Her mother came rushing over to her and took her hand. She wailed in French that her hand hurt. I felt bad for her. “Help her,” Knute said and pointed at her. “What?” “Help her,” he said. “You know, heal her.” “Are you kidding?” I asked. “No,” he said. “I want to see you heal someone.” “I can’t,” I said and shook my head. “It’s not like I can just summon the power or anything. I have to be guided and right now, I’m not guided. Also, it’s like there’s something not right here.” “What?” he asked. “She’s in pain. Help her!” 195
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“I can’t,” I said. “I’m not getting the feeling that I should do anything.” He stared at me. “But you can heal her.” “I can only heal those I am meant to heal,” I said. “Don’t you understand how it works?” He glared at me, then glanced at the little girl. “Clemmy, what’s the use in having this power if you can’t use it when you need to? Everybody always talks about how great you are at it so why don’t you just use your power?” “I do use it when I need to, but not at whim,” I told him. “Don’t you get it? I don’t get called to fix everything. Besides, she probably just sprained her hand.” “Do it,” he snapped. My mouth dropped at the tone of menace in his voice. What was up with him? I stared into his eyes and immediately got a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach. I knew then it wasn’t about me “fixing” the child, but about him controlling me—and my power. It was about him forcing me into doing something I’d rather not, just because he wanted me to. If there’s one thing about me, it’s the fact that I can’t stand it when someone tells me—or tries to force me— into doing something. If you ask nicely, that’s one thing. But to tell me? No. And who was Knute to tell me to do anything? I’d never seen him like this. It was almost as if he had a lot of stored animosity for me and it was now visibly showing on his face. It was hard to digest. “Fix her,” he said and grabbed my arm. “I mean it.” I jerked my arm back and said, “No, she’s fine. I’m not going to abuse my power by showing out just for your benefit.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked. “It just means I don’t abuse my power,” I said. “Your mother taught me that. Didn’t she teach it to you?” 196
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A dark look crossed his face for a moment and he shook his head in anger. “I don’t abuse my power. Why do you even say that?” “It’s just a comment,” I said. “What is wrong with you? That little girl is going to be okay, Knute.” “No thanks to you,” he hissed and turned away from me. I threw my hands up in frustration. I didn’t know what had gotten into him. But then the little girl suddenly got up and walked off. She wasn’t even hurt. I raised one eyebrow at Knute. “It was a trick,” I said. “Her mother taught her to do that so they could get more money from people.” He nodded. “I guess you’re right.” “What’s gotten into you?” I asked. “You’re acting almost… I hate to say it, but you’re acting mean today.” “I’m tired,” he said and got up. “Can we leave now?”
Sexy and Beautiful Knute and I traveled for another month or so. We went to Rome and to Amsterdam, Budapest and to Athens, but not in that order. We went all over the place but after a while, I was aching to go home, even though I no longer had a home to go to. Our last stop was in Berlin. “You can come live with me,” he said and smiled. I smiled back and forced myself not to think about his attitude that day in Paris, though it would bug me from time to time. It was like he wanted to make me do something and was trying to force me into doing something I didn’t want to do. I didn’t like being backed into a corner and he’d have to learn that. However, he
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hadn’t displayed that attitude since and had been very nice and happy. And we’d been having really good sex, too. So, I decided to overlook it. “I don’t know,” I said. “I think I might like to have my own place. I’ve never done that. I was actually thinking about moving out of the house before… You know, before Mom passed.” “What’s the use in that?” he asked. “We’re going to see each other every day, so why not live together?” I stared at him. “Because we’re not married.” “Don’t tell me you’re that old-fashioned.” I thought about it. “I think I am. I don’t want to live with you unless we’re married.” “So let’s get married,” he said nonchalantly. “Fuck, Knute,” I said. “Could you be any more unromantic?” He snapped his fingers and suddenly our hotel room transformed. We were now sitting in a soft, dimly lit room stuffed with candles and roses. There was wine and a scrumptious dinner on a table covered with white linen. It was so sweet and clichéd that it was a bit nauseating. And I was still dressed in my pajamas and he didn’t have a shirt on. He got down on one knee, took my hand and said, “Dear Clementine, would you do me the honor and become my wife?” I studied him. “It’s still not working. It’s not that romantic. I think you should have planned it better or something. I feel like it’s a little put on. And where’s the ring? Don’t I get a ring or something?” “Fuck!” he said and got up, then snapped his fingers and a ring box appeared in his hand. “Here.” He held the box out to me. By that point, I didn’t want it. I shook my head, refusing to even look at it.
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“Seriously? I just forgot it, okay?” he said. “I mean… Fuck! I can’t win with you, can I?” I felt bad. Maybe I shouldn’t be so blunt and honest. But that was just the way I was. I had a serious foot in mouth disorder and it usually ended up making me feel really bad. I hated to cause others pain. I felt Knute’s pain then and I felt terrible for causing it. So, I leaned over and touched him arm gently to show I was sorry for hurting his feelings. But then, I guess reflexively, he threw his arm up at me and I went flying through the air and landed, then skidded, across the floor. It was so intense, I almost got rug burn on my butt. I stared up at him with a mixture of fury and hurt. “Oh, fuck,” he said and came over to me, trying to help me up. I shoved him away and shook my head at him. “What the fuck is your problem? And where are you getting all this power?” He shook his head. “I don’t know. I’m sorry, Clementine.” “Sorry don’t begin to cover it,” I hissed and stood. “Well, it’s your fault,” he said. My mouth dropped open as I stared at him. Seriously? Did he seriously just say that to me? There it was again, the anger, but this time it was worse. I could tell there was some hidden animosity he was carrying around for me and that made me just a little anxious. Where was it coming from? What had I done? And was it worth trying to fix? I stepped back from him and crossed my arms. “You’re doing it again.” “What?” he snapped. “You’re getting pissed off for no reason and snapping at me, not to mention slinging me across the room. And then blaming me for it? Have you lost your mind?” “You snap at me all the time,” he said.
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“I do not!” I snapped, then shut my mouth. “I mean… Nothing. Forget about it, Knute. You’re perfect! Don’t ever change!” “Look, I’m sorry,” he said. “It just happened. I guess I’m a little edgy.” He was edgy, like he was on drugs or something. Maybe he was on drugs. But that didn’t excuse his behavior. Could I even trust him now? I didn’t know. He sighed, then stared into my eyes and said softly, “I am very sorry. Please forgive me.” I stared back and then felt a slight warmth creep up my legs and into my heart. It was a spell. He was putting a spell on me. I warned it off and the feeling disappeared. But I really wanted to know what the hell was going on with him. This wasn’t right. He wasn’t right. Something was going on. I stared to call him out on the spell, but then decided not to. I’d have to play along to get to the bottom of this. He stared into my eyes again and said, “Forgive me.” Again, the feeling of warmth came at me, but I stopped it, then sighed, “I forgive you,” and allowed him to think everything was fine. “God,” he said and chuckled. “We’re like an old married couple or something.” “We’re not old or married,” I said sweetly as I could. “You’re just an asshole.” “So you want to marry me or not?” I shrugged. “I think you know the answer to that.” “Do you want least want to see the ring? I picked it out while we were in Paris.” I was a little curious. So, I said, “Sure.” He opened the box and the most exquisite diamond solitaire ring wrapped in platinum twinkled at me. It had to be at least five 200
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carats and worth a small fortune—or a big one. It was beyond gorgeous. “Well?” he said. “Damn you,” I replied and he slipped the ring on my finger. It was heavy. I stared at it and then at him. Of course, I was impressed. Of course, I wanted the ring. Of course, I wanted to marry him. But why were we having this trouble now? We’d wanted to be together for years and now that we were, it’s like we kept butting heads. “Well?” he asked again. I stared up at him and said, “I love you, Knute, and I do want to marry you, but right now isn’t the time, okay? I’ve been through too much these past few months and I guess I’ve reached saturation. I need time, okay? I need time to heal and to get to know you again. We’ve been apart for a long time and we fell in love when we were kids. We have to learn how to be with each other first, I guess. Okay?” He stared into my eyes and nodded slightly. “Okay. But you’re keeping the ring. That’s your ring and one day you will be my wife.” I nodded, hoping he was right. Maybe we did just need some time. Maybe time would heal this little riff we seemed to have. And maybe time would tell us everything we needed to know about each other. And I had a feeling it would. Knute kept trying to talk me into marrying him on the long plane ride home from Berlin. I kept saying no, telling him that giving me some time meant actually giving me time. I loved him more than anything and knew I probably always would, but 201
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something told me not to take that leap just yet. I don’t know if it was intuition or the fact that he was trying to cast spells on me or trying to manipulate me and my powers. He was trying to get me not to follow my instincts and that’s one thing a witch can never do. We rely too heavily on our instincts. It didn’t set well with me, needless to say. Something was going on with him and as soon as I got home, I was calling Delia to see if she knew anything. But the fact was, I didn’t really want to get married. I was still young and I envisioned a life for myself that didn’t include a husband right then. Also, I wanted my own space for a while without someone hanging around telling me what to do. It might have been the fact that we’d spent every waking hour together since that night he’d shown up. That was probably it. Even so, when we got back to the States, Knute bought a fabulous house in Savannah. He told me, “It’s for us. We can live here. We don’t have to get married right now, but we can at least live together.” “You mean shack up,” I said. He chuckled and said, “That’s exactly what I mean.” “Knute,” I said. “I really appreciate this, but I want to live on my own for a while.” “But why can’t you just live with me?” he asked. “I did this for us.” That made me sad, but not enough to agree to agree to live there with him. Of course, I was staying with him until I found my own place, even though his house would have suited my purposes very well. The house was right in the middle of the downtown area. I loved to get out and walk the squares and then go to the big, beautiful fountain in the center of town. Savannah was such a
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beautiful city, and so old, that it just felt right to be there. I couldn’t wait to find my own place. But that was taking longer than expected. I wanted the perfect place and house hunted for a few weeks, finding nothing that was exactly right. During this time, Knute would tell me to just live with him, that we should just go ahead and get married. And maybe he was right. But there was something in me that was demanding that I be on my own for a while. I wanted freedom, that’s what I wanted, not a gold wedding band. I felt bad about how I felt, but I accepted it. We were still young and there was no need to rush into anything, let alone marriage. One morning, while we were still in bed, he kept telling me that we should just go to the justice of the peace and tie the knot. “Boy, that sounds romantic,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Why not just go to Vegas and get Elvis to marry us?” “That does sound cool,” he said, considering. I stared at him, laying there next to me, and shook my head at him. “You’ve lost your damn mind.” “Come on,” he said and wrapped his arms around my waist and said, “Why not?” “I don’t want to,” I said. “At least let me have my own place for a little while.” He rubbed his nose against mine and said, “You’re sexy and beautiful.” I smiled. “Thanks.” He kissed my neck, sliding his tongue down it. “You’re feeling so sexy and beautiful.” I moaned as he kissed me. Then I suddenly felt good, better than I’d ever felt before in my life. But then I froze. I knew what he was doing and what he was doing was trying to put a spell on
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me. But I didn’t really feel like chewing him out about it. Maybe because he was making me feel so good. I pulled back and said, “You’re putting some sort of mojo on me.” “You’re sexy and beautiful,” he said again, this time staring deeply into my eyes. “You’re hypnotizing me,” I said, then giggled. “You’re sexy and beautiful,” he said then kissed the top of my breasts, sliding his hand up under my shirt. “Tell me you’re sexy and beautiful.” “I’m sexy and beautiful,” I said and felt it. I grabbed his face and kissed his mouth hard. It was like something had come over me and I had to have him. I didn’t wait for any foreplay; I wanted to get right to it. He stood, then grabbed my hand and pulled me up off the bed. I went with him and he walked me backwards and pushed me up against the wall so I was standing with my back to him. “Sexy and beautiful,” he said and ran his hands over my body. “Sexy and beautiful,” I moaned and just let the spell do its magic. And magic it was. He really began to fire me up. He had me in such a state, I was almost in a frenzy. He kneeled behind me and pulled my pajama bottoms and panties off until I was half-naked in front of him. Then he ran his hands up and down my bare legs, then between them. I let out a sigh as he played with me and gasped when he pressed his head between my legs and began to eat at me. I was just about to come when he stopped and pulled me back over to the bed, then he bent me over it and entered me from behind. It was almost animalistic but I couldn’t get enough. It was rough and a little vicious as he nibbled at my neck, leaving small bite marks behind. He then grabbed my ass and pulled me back 204
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until he was pumping hard into me. His hand came back around and rested between my legs, so I could grind against it. I was so turned on, I came almost instantly. I came with a wail. He came with a loud grunt and then slapped my ass when it was over. Then he fell on top of me, breathing heavily. “So, do you want to marry me or what?” I smiled at him and commanded the spell to leave me. “You can’t change my mind with sex, Knute,” I said and turned to kiss him. “But it doesn’t hurt to try.”
The Dinner Party “Mom’s invited us to a dinner party,” Knute said a few days later. “Huh?” I asked and looked up from a book I was studying. He glanced at the book on potions and said, “I thought you were done studying all that.” I shrugged. “I just wanted to brush up on a few things, that’s all. I’m a little rusty. Did you just say your mom wants us to come to dinner?” “Yeah,” he said. Then I remembered I hadn’t talked to her about him yet. I closed off my mind, just in case he was trying to read it, and said, “How is Delia? I haven’t heard from her, which is a little weird.” “How is it weird?” “We usually talked a few times a week before my mother passed,” I said. “Now I don’t hear from her that much. But I guess I could call her, you know? She doesn’t have to be the one to always call me. I should call her.”
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“Well, you’ll see her at the dinner party,” he said. “Oh, okay.” I said. “I mean, if you want to go,” he said. “You know, we don’t have to go. In fact, I’d prefer not to.” “Why?” I asked and shut the book. “This asshole I know is going to be there,” he said. “Who?” “You don’t know him,” he said. “His name’s Logan.” My mouth dropped. “I do so know him! We stirred the pot together with Delia and Rex and—” “You stirred the pot with that asshole?” “I did, a while ago,” I said. “He was really good.” “No, he isn’t,” he spat. “What do you have against him?” I asked, becoming very interested. “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “I grew up with him and everyone always thought he was so much better than me.” “Which, of course, he isn’t,” I said. He grinned at me. “That’s why I love you.” “So when are we going?” “Tonight,” he said. “And wear your ring.” “My ring?” “Your engagement ring,” he said. “I want everyone to see it.” “But we’re not engaged, Knute. We haven’t set a date or anything,” I said, then noticed this look of intense sadness cross his face. Oh, God, I was being such a bitch to him. To make it right, I said hurriedly, “Of course, I’ll wear it, of course.” He nodded and tried to smile. “I mean, if you want to.” “I want to,” I said. “It is the most fabulous thing I’ve ever gotten except, of course, for you.”
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He smiled, the sadness had passed. “I love you, Witch Little. I love you so much.” “And I love you,” I said. “And not only because you give me pretty diamonds.” “Why else?” “Well, you’re good looking and you’re good in the sack and did I mention you make the best gumbo?” “What else?” he asked, a little too eagerly. I stared at him, noticing that he really wanted me to say nice things about him, like he couldn’t get enough, like he was starved for compliments. That was strange. Knute never fished for compliments. It’s almost as if he was a little insecure, like I used to be. That feeling of inferiority that I’d felt growing up didn’t bother me much anyone. But it was almost as if it had transferred to him. It was weird. “I don’t know,” I said, making sure to measure my words. “You’re pretty smart, too.” “Pretty smart?” “Pretty,” I said. “Oh, and you’ve got great taste. I mean, look at your girlfriend.” “Fiancée,” he said, correcting me. “You’re wearing the ring.” I paused and stared at him. Was he serious? I never agreed to marry him. It was almost like he was missing a chip now or something, like the wires in his brain were crossing. What the hell was up with him? It almost made me panic and for a split second, I thought, Who the hell is this guy? Delia had once said he could be very persuasive and now I completely understood. Maybe he thought if he kept telling me to wear the ring—and I complied—it would stand to reason that we were engaged. But, because of him continually pushing it, I felt like he was trying to put some sort of whammy on me. It was really starting to worry me. 207
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“You will be soon enough,” he said and seemed to realign his thoughts to match reality. “Yeah, soon enough,” I said and changed the subject, mostly because it was starting to exhaust me. “So, when are we due at Delia’s?” Delia’s house was out in the country and reminded me of one of those sixties ranchers. I had thought she would live in a huge mansion of some sort like she always had, but she didn’t. It was more like The Brady Bunch than Gone With The Wind. She greeted me at the door and gave me a big hug. “I’ve missed you,” she said and squeezed hard. “Oh, how I’ve missed you.” Knute cleared his throat and said, “I’m here too, Mom.” “Oh, of course,” she said and turned to give him a big hug. “How was Europe?” “Great,” I said. “I can’t wait to go back.” “I’m sure,” she said and gestured into the house. “Come in, come in. Make yourself at home.” “Look, Mom,” Knute said and grabbed my hand, showing her the ring. “Oh, wow,” she said, her mouth dropping. “Wonderful! Oh Clementine, I’m so happy for you!” She gave me another big hug, this one even more enthusiastic. I decided not to say anything about us not really being engaged. “And for you, too, Knute,” she said and gave him another hug. “I can’t wait to plan the wedding!” My heart dropped. This was going to be such a sticky situation, so much so that I almost decided to just marry him and get it over 208
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with. And why shouldn’t I? It was our fate, wasn’t it? Weren’t we on course to get married, having some babies and be the powerful witches we were meant to be? Yeah, we were. So why didn’t the thought set well with me? I shook it off and smiled at Delia and Knute, who pulled apart and smiled at each other. Maybe things were as they were meant to be and I was only delaying the inevitable. But something was off. It was like I was on some strange current and just being carried along with no say-so in the matter. “Come in now,” Delia said. We followed her into the cavernous living room where the other guests were. On the outside, the house looked like it belonged more in Palm Springs, California than outside Savannah. However, on the inside, Delia had decorated it with more of a European classic style than of a mid-century modern. The couches were leather Chesterfields and the leather club chairs complimented them well. The rugs were thick Persian and the dark curtains a nice silk. I liked it and felt immediately at home due to Delia’s tasteful decoration and eye for comfort. She was always trying out new styles, she told me. This must be her latest. “Let me introduce you to everyone, Clementine,” she said and started rattling off names, introducing me to the guests. I recognized Rex, Fawn and Justine from the pot stirring but the others I didn’t know. I scanned the room for Logan but didn’t see him. After Delia was finished introducing everyone, they began to come up to me and say hello and give me their condolences for my mother. Many of them had known of my grandmother and they called her a “great witch” and told me everyone felt sad about my mother’s passing. I thanked them and smiled, but wished someone would change the subject. I didn’t want to bring anyone down or anything and
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my mother’s passing was very private and personal to me. I rarely even discussed it with Knute. “Thank you,” I said. “Let’s get her a drink,” Rex said and someone put a drink in my hand, a gin tonic. I sipped it and mingled for a few minutes, then looked around to see that Knute was gone. I was about to excuse myself when a tall blonde woman touched my arm. I looked up at her and into her pretty face. She smiled at me. “I just wanted to say hello,” she said and held out her hand. “I’m Lila.” “Nice to meet you,” I said and shook her hand. She smiled at me as if she were a bit nervous about something, then said hurriedly, “It’s just so great to meet Clementine’s granddaughter. My mother talked nonstop about her when I was growing up. She’s was, like, her idol or something.” I nodded. I actually got this a lot. I smiled at her and said, “Well, thank you, Lila. If you’ll excuse me, I need to help Delia in the kitchen.” “Sure,” she said, almost gushing. “It was really nice to meet you.” “You too,” I said and went into the kitchen where Delia was preparing the feast. “Hey,” I said and finished off the gin tonic before setting the glass on the counter. “Have you seen Knute?” She shook her head. “I thought he was with you.” “No,” I said and looked around the nice, warm kitchen. “Do you need me to do anything?” “Sure,” she said. “Help me with the salad.” I began chopping vegetables. People came in and out of the kitchen, some staying to help prepare the food, some getting refills
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on drinks. When everyone had cleared out somewhat, I turned to Delia and said, “Delia, I think something’s going on with Knute.” “What do you mean?” I stared at her and thought of a nice way to put it. There wasn’t one. So, I said, “Well, it’s just he’s changed a little and—” “Everyone changes,” she said and gave me a gentle smile. “Right,” I said. “But it’s different. It’s not a good change. And he’s also—” “Listen,” she said. “You and Knute never really spent that much time together, so there’s bound to be some tension. You just have to recognize that and overlook things from time to time. Once he adjusts—and you as well—you’ll both be fine.” “Well, yeah, but that’s not what I’m talking about.” “Oh, Clementine,” she said. “That’s love. It’s not all butterflies and ice cream cakes.” I stared at her. Maybe she was on drugs. Maybe she had a wire crossed or something. Something was up with her, too and it put me a little on guard. I said, “Butterflies and ice cream cakes?” She stopped and stared at me. “What is it?” I stared back at her and realized that something was up. But it might not have anything to do with me. Not everything did. I wasn’t the center of the universe. So, I just decided to let the whole thing go. I was tired of trying to analyze everything all the time. And I just wanted to relax and have a good time—and not spoil anyone’s night over my paranoia. So, I wrote the whole thing off, even Delia’s apparent oddness. I figured she was just tired and we all act odd when we’re tired. “Nothing,” I said. “But let me ask you this. It’s okay now, right?” “What?” she asked and looked at me. “Knute and I,” I said. “It’s okay that we’re together.” 211
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“Why, of course it’s okay,” she said and shook her head in confusion. “Why wouldn’t it be okay?” “Because of your vision,” I said. “My vision?” she said, pausing to think. “Oh, that. Don’t worry about that, Clementine.” “You sure?” I asked. “I mean, you kept us apart for about seven years because of your vision.” She studied me and said, “I don’t know what you’re getting at, but I think you’re being a little bit paranoid. That’s all over now.” I was slightly taken aback and wondered again what was going on with her, but I changed the subject. “So, how are your migraines?” “Gone, thank God,” she said and sighed with relief. I nodded and finished the salad. She told me to take it into the adjoining dining room and she’d call in the guests. I lifted the big bowl and hauled it in and set it on the long table. Just like with the living room, the dining room was huge and decorated in heavy wood with thick soft blue velvet curtains that puddled on the floor. I went back into the kitchen and grabbed some bowls of food. It was mostly vegetables and a big ham she’d cooked. When I took the food out, everyone was seating themselves at the table and a woman snapped her fingers to light all the candles on the table. A man snapped his fingers and eight four bottles of good vintage wine appeared. He picked one up, pulled the cork out with a flick of his hand and started filling glasses. I took my seat next to Delia but still didn’t see Knute. I was about to ask her where he’d gone but remembered she’d already told me she didn’t know. “Now, everyone, just grab whatever you need,” Delia said, smiling. “You know you don’t have to use your fine manners in my
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home. We all know that’s just for show anyway. Just be sure that you don’t push over anyone else to get to the wine.” Everyone laughed and started passing bowls and plates of food. And then we all dug in. The food was scrumptious. I ate about half of what was on my plate and asked for a second glass of wine. It was immediately poured. I turned to see Knute, who was holding the bottle. He smiled at me and sat to my right. “There you are,” I said. “Where have you been?” “Nowhere,” he said. “I’m hungry.” I watched as he piled his plate high and dug in like a truck driver. I was almost embarrassed for him but it was too funny. I asked, “Hungry?” “Starving,” he said and chewed vigorously. Just then, Justine squealed, “Logan!” I turned to see him entering the room, apologizing for being late. Knute shot him a hateful look but Logan didn’t even acknowledge his presence. A seat in front of me was cleared and he sat down. All the women began to fill his plate. He thanked them, then stared straight ahead at me and smiled. I blushed and turned my head quickly. I could feel someone watching us, as if they were studying our interaction. I looked up to see Delia staring at Logan curiously, before turning to me. I looked away. “How are you, Clementine?” Logan asked. “Stirred any pots lately?” “No,” I muttered and stared at my plate. God, I wished he wouldn’t talk to me. “She’s fine,” Knute growled. He stared at Knute before saying, “Oh, hello, Knute. I didn’t see you sitting there.”
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Knute threw his napkin on the table, got up and left the room in a huff. My mouth dropped and I stared at Delia for an explanation. She shrugged as if she didn’t know and really didn’t care. “Childhood rivalry,” Logan explained. “Oh, I remember now,” Delia said. “Logan and Knute used to be best friends, then they had a falling out over a girl. Wasn’t that it, Logan?” “Yes,” he said and ducked his head. “The prettiest girl in the county, if I recall,” Delia said. “Really?” I asked, intrigued. “Yeah,” Logan said, looking slightly sheepish. “He liked a girl that I also liked and he told me that I couldn’t put a spell on her to override her feelings for him.” I nodded, then noticed everyone had stopped eating and was listening to every word he was saying. I said, “And?” “And he was right,” he said and chuckled. “But just that once. I beat him at everything else.” “So, who was the lucky girl?” I asked. “Oh, you don’t know her,” he said and smiled a little. “It was a long time ago.” I stared at him. I could tell he was hiding something. What was it? There was something just so off about everything. I was beginning to think I might be the one who was going insane. I shook my head slightly, wondering what the hell was going on with everyone, but then I didn’t care. I just wanted to get out of there and get some air. “Oh, well that explains it,” I said and got up. “Excuse me, I better go look for him.” “Oh, leave him be,” Rex said. “Sit back down, Clementine.”
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“No, I really should go,” I said and excused myself. I searched the house over but couldn’t find Knute anywhere, so I went outside and stood on the back porch. I glanced to my left and saw the stables, remembering Delia saying something about keeping a few horses and that I should learn to ride, which I thought was an excellent idea. So, I headed towards the stables to see the horses. The stable lights were on, so the area was well-lit. As I neared, I heard voices. No, not voices, more like moans. Something told me to turn back but I was curious. Was there really someone in there making out? Once I peeked inside, I realized there was. And it was my boyfriend and Lila, the blonde who’d been gushing about my grandmother. I hadn’t even noticed she’d left the table. I was sick to my stomach. I wanted to throw up. There he was, with her, kissing her. She was taking my kisses from my man! I wanted to yell at them, scream, rip her hair from her head. Who was this bitch and why was she doing this to me? But it wasn’t her. It was him. I somehow knew he’d instigated it. But why? Why would he do this to me when he was harassing me every single day of my life to marry him? What should I do? Stop them? Yell? Scream about how they were hurting me? Would they even care? Would they even stop? What do you do when you are in a situation like this? Throw a curse at them? It was tempting, but I couldn’t. I refused to allow him to lower me like that. So, all I did was hang my head and run back to the house where I locked myself in one of the bedrooms. I sat there and cried for a good half-hour. After I was spent, I got up and went to the bathroom and washed my face. My eyes were swollen and red and I looked awful. But I felt worse. I turned the light off and started down the hall. Just then, Logan entered, stopped and smiled at me. “I’d wondered where you’d gotten to,” he said. 215
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“Oh,” I replied. He walked over to me and said, “Have you been crying?” I nodded and felt like crying again. “What’s wrong?” he asked with genuine concern. “It’s just that…” I stopped. I didn’t want to tell him about Knute. So, I said, “I lost my mother recently.” “I know,” he said. “I’m so sorry about that, too. Did you get the flowers I sent?” I studied him. “What flowers? Oh, you mean flowers for her funeral.” “Yes,” he said. “I also sent you some flowers.” “You did?” I asked. “I don’t think I saw them.” He nodded. “Well, forget it. There must have been a mix-up.” I sighed. “Yeah, I guess.” “So, are you okay?” “I’m fine, I guess,” I said and thought about Knute and wanted to burst into tears again. It seemed like a shock at first that he was cheating on me, but now I realized he’d been doing it all along. A man like Knute always had women fawning all over them. They loved him, they loved his looks and his personality and the fact that he was so muscular and in shape. They loved to listen to him talk and they loved to laugh at his jokes. They loved that he had all this power, too. I should have realized a guy like Knute could never be faithful. There were too many women falling all over him for that. I hated those bitches. I hated the fact that he just didn’t see me as the only woman in the world for him. And that’s what really hurt. I knew he loved me, but I also knew he categorized me differently than other women. I would be his wife and the mother of his children. And the other women? They’d be his playthings. Oh, I hated that. I hated that so much. It was so demoralizing. “It’s not that,” Logan said. 216
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I stared at him. “Sorry,” he said. “Don’t read my mind,” I said and felt like such a loser. “Okay, I won’t,” he said. “Sorry. But, no, it’s not that, Clementine.” I felt like snapping at him but made myself stop. “It’s not what, Logan?” “He’s not sleeping with other women because he thinks of you that way,” he said. “He’s doing it because wants to hurt you.” “Why would he want to hurt me? I’ve never done anything like that to him. I worship the ground he walks on.” “He doesn’t think so,” he said. “I know him. It’s just the way he is.” “How do you know all this?” “I can read people, that’s my gift,” he said. “And Knute, I can tell, really loves you. He does what he does because he feels intimidated by your power. And having sex with other women gives him some of his power back, as a man. And, hate to tell you, but Knute’s got a cruel streak. I know this firsthand.” I stared at him. “He’s never been…” I trailed off, thinking about his anger that night he’d asked me to marry him. “Don’t let it upset you,” he said. “He’s just trying to get back at you.” “For what?” I asked, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. “Because he’s intimidated by my power? Screw that.” He stared at me as if he couldn’t believe I’d just said that. “Are you kidding? You intimidate everyone. You have so much power, it’s ridiculous! Knute can’t hold a candle to you and he knows that. Don’t trivialize this by dragging his sexual encounters into it. It’s not about that.” “Then what is it about?” 217
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“It’s about him gaining control,” he said. “It’s about him feeling intimidated and weaker than you.” Oh. Oh! I got it. I stared at Logan, thinking he might just be saying all this to make me feel better, but I could tell he was telling me the truth. I did have a lot of power but I suppose I just took it for granted that everyone had about as much as I did. “They don’t,” he said. I shook my head at him. “If we’re going to be friends, you can’t do that.” “Do what?” “The mind reading,” I said and shook my head. “I’ll stop, sorry,” he said and grinned sheepishly. “But you need to get your emotions under control. That’s why I can read you so well right now.” “Seriously?” “Yeah, it’s like when you get upset, there are little holes that get poked into your aura and I can see right through them.” “Wow,” I said. “That is a gift.” He nodded. “Not as great as yours, but good still. And I can do other things, too.” I smiled at him. “You’re pretty cool, you know that?” “I get by,” he said. I couldn’t help but smile even more at him. I really liked him. He was a good person, I could tell. There was something so genuine and real about him, I just wanted to hug him. “What’s that?” he asked and pointed to my ring. “Oh, that,” I said and slipped it off and put it in my pocket. “Nothing.” He nodded slightly. “I’ve got to go,” he said and touched my arm gently. “If you need anything, you can call me. You know that, right?” 218
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“Thanks,” I replied and signed. I did feel better. “I mean, yes, I know that.” “You know, you can give me a hug, if you like.” “Only if you stop reading me!” I exclaimed and jabbed him in the ribs. “Want one?” he asked and held open his arms. “Sure, why not? Everyone needs a hug.” I hugged him and allowed him to hug me. It felt so good, so right. I was about to push him away but his arms were so comforting. I felt like I could just fall into him and get lost. Then I felt a shift and something changed between us. It was no longer a friendly hug, but a tight embrace. His body was a little too close to mine, but he didn’t move away from me. And I didn’t move away from him. I looked up at him and before I could blink, he had planted his lips on top of mine. I gasped as his tongue slipped into my mouth and he pushed me up against the wall. I felt my heels rise off the floor as I got more and more into the kiss. I couldn’t stop myself, either and I didn’t want to stop. Maybe I kissed him partly because I wanted to hurt Knute, to get back at him. Maybe I kissed him because there was an attraction. Whatever the reason, I knew that first kiss would not be our last. He pulled back first and said, “It was nice to see you again, Clementine.” Then he left me, breathless.
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Whatever Will Be, Will Be I didn’t immediately ask Knute about having sex with Lila, but it did eat at me. When we got back home that night, I refused to let him touch me and when he asked why, I told him the food hadn’t agreed with me. The next day, I went out and found myself a nice house to buy. I wasn’t worried about it being too prefect anymore and I kept myself from being too picky. I just wanted to get the hell away from Knute. The way he’d hurt me was almost unforgivable. I took my time to get it furnished and all the utilities hooked up. Within a few weeks, it was ready. So, I packed my bags and took them to my new car, a Range Rover, which more than held everything I needed it to, and then walked back in and sat on the couch. I waited for five hours for Knute to come home so I could tell him I was moving out. When he got there, I didn’t beat around the bush. I said, “I’m moving out.” “What?” he asked and looked around. “Something is going on with you,” I said. “You’ve changed and I need some space. It’s for the best. So, let’s not get angry.” He glared at me. “You’re not going anywhere.” I felt a flash of anger and I suddenly wanted to slap him, thinking of the pain and humiliation he’d caused me. I jumped up off the couch to slap him, but then realized Logan was right. It was all about control. It was all about him wanting to be stronger than me and feeling inferior because he wasn’t. He hated that he couldn’t control me and hated that I was a more powerful witch than he’d ever be. Maybe some men were just like that. Whatever the reason, I wasn’t about to put up with it. “Sit back down,” he said.
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I crossed my arms and shook my head, trying to control my rage. “What is this all about?” “You know what you’ve done, Knute,” I said. “Don’t play me for a fool.” “What does that mean?” “You know damn well what it means,” I said. “I know about her.” “Her?” “Her,” I said. “Your lover. I know all about her.” “What lover?” “What was her name? Lola? Loretta? Oh, Lila.” “How did you find out?” “I saw you two in the stables that night at Delia’s,” I hissed. “Logan told you, didn’t he?” “No!” I yelled. “I saw you! “I don’t think you know what you saw,” he said and raised his hand. “Stop it,” I hissed. “Don’t you dare think you’ll put a forgetful spell on me about this! How dare you try?” He glared at me and started to raise his hand again. “Down!” I yelled and his hand fell down to his side. He hissed, “Don’t you do that again.” “What are you going to do?” I said. “You know that I’m more powerful than you. Don’t you ever forget that. Don’t you ever put a spell on me or you will live to regret it.” “You’re not that powerful,” he said. “So don’t get too full of yourself.” “Don’t you go around sleeping around on me behind my back!” I yelled so loudly it scratched my throat. “Do it again and you are gone out of my life. For good.” I pulled the ring out of my pocket 221
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and waved it in the air. “And take this back, too! How dare you give me something like this and then screw the first thing that bats its eyes at you?!” I threw the ring at him. “Oh, she wasn’t the first one, honey,” he said, catching the ring. I gasped, his words eating into me. I forced myself to calm down and be logical. But how could I? He was flaunting his conquests in my face. “I was always faithful to you, Knute. Always! And this is how you repay me? I never even looked at another guy! Never! Everyone told me to date and be young but I couldn’t. I only wanted you. And look how you did me!” He stared at me and then looked away. “It’s not like that, Clementine.” “Then what is it like?” I asked, feeling tears slide down my face. I hadn’t even realized I’d been crying. “I don’t know,” he said softly. “But it’s not that.” “Well, when you figure it out, let me know,” I said and started to the door. “I can’t handle you anyone. I don’t know what happened or why you suddenly turned on me.” “I’ve never turned on you!” “You have! You don’t treat me the same as you used to. You don’t act like you did. You’re different.” “I’m grown-up, Clementine,” he said. “That’s what happens when you grow up.” “I don’t think so,” I said. “But I have to do what’s best for me.” “Looks like that now,” he said. “Oh, but you always did the best by you, didn’t you? It was always about you, Clementine.” “I don’t even know what you’re getting at and I don’t want to know, Knute,” I said. “I have to go. I can’t live with you right now. You’ve changed, Knute. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I can’t deal with it right now.” 222
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“So run away,” he said. “Run away from the only man who loves you.” “A man who loves me wouldn’t have cheated on me so soon after we started our relationship,” I said, nearing tears. “How could you? Someone else could have seen you and how would that make me look? I’ll tell you—like a pathetic woman who’ll take whatever crap her man dishes out. Well, I’m here to tell you, I won’t. Don’t you dare embarrass me like that again. Ever!” “So, you’re more embarrassed than jealous?” “You want me to be jealous?” I asked, seething. “I don’t care what you and your whore do together, just don’t do it in front of me.” “You don’t love me.” “What?” I asked. “You’re the one who cheated on me!” “It wasn’t like that,” he said. “Yes, it was,” I said. “If that’s what you want,” he said. “I can’t change your mind.” “You know what I think?” I said. “I think you wanted me to catch you.” “Please,” he said. “Besides, she means nothing to me.” “She means everything to us,” I said. “You slept with her and that ruined our relationship.” “So, it’s ruined now?” he hissed. “I thought you just wanted some space.” “Yeah,” I said. “You’re right; it’s all about me wanting space. Go ahead and pretend all you like, Knute. It’s what you’re good at.” He took a breath and said, “I’m sorry but when I saw that asshole Logan flirting with you, it really tore me, up okay? I guess I just wanted to get back at you.” “I didn’t sleep with him,” I said. “You slept with her.” “I’m sorry.” 223
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“That won’t cut it,” I told him. “Fuck you,” he hissed. “No, go fuck her,” I said. “Cause you won’t be seeing me for a long time.” He glared at me then stormed out. Good riddance. I picked up my keys off the coffee table and left. And I didn’t look back.
When I got to my new house, I looked it over with pride, even though I was still shaken after my fight with Knute. I pushed it out of my head and marveled at what was now mine—a beautiful and spacious home. It was an older house that had been completely renovated with everything top of the line. I dragged all my clothes out of my car and put them up in my walk-in closet. Once I was done, I walked into the bedroom, admiring it, letting it sink in that this was where I got to live. It delighted me, to say the least. And I got it for a steal, too, well below market value and not because I found a great deal but because house prices had tanked. I didn’t have to find things on sale like I used to, just occasionally when I wanted to see if I still had it. How odd how things change over the years. Looking the house over made my heart ache a little and think of my mother, who I still missed every single day. She would never see it. I would have loved to have her see my new home, so tastefully decorated and so nice. I would have loved to invite her over for breakfast and make her favorite meal—pecan pancakes with maple syrup, eggs and bacon. And coffee, too, she was a big coffee drinker, though I never got into the stuff. I could serve her on my nice dinnerware and we’d talk about how broke we used to be and thank God for what we had now.
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I laughed and sighed. “Oh, Mommy,” I said out loud. “You would be so proud of me.” I smiled and took a deep breath, willing my message to her. I did this all the time, mostly in my head. But whenever I was alone, I’d say stuff to her out loud. I know it made me sound crazy, but I didn’t care. I didn’t ever want to break that connection to her. And I know she got the messages. How I knew was beyond me, but I knew. I paused for a moment and thought about catching Knute in the stables with that girl. Had my mother guided me there, to show me what he was really all about? I shook myself. No, I’d just lucked up. I stopped my thoughts before they turned vengeful and walked through my new house, loving every square inch of it. The living room was sprawling and I’d bought the best “movie” couch there was—one that had a wide seat and a low back and was good for scrunching down and hanging out in front of the big screen TV. Delia had told me years ago to invest in good furniture like an Eames chair. I smiled at it, loving its mid-century look. Then I walked into the kitchen and it almost took my breath away. The kitchen was white cabinets and marble countertops and stainless steel appliances. The floors were a dark wood and polished to perfection. And the bedrooms were huge, especially the master, which I’d furnished with a gigantic upholstered bed frame and a pillow-top mattress. The bed was covered with Frette bed linens, another suggestion from Delia. I went in and flopped down on it, turned over and smiled. I was really glad it was over with Knute. I sat up, feeling shaky. Had I just thought that? But, more importantly, was I happy it was over? Oh, God, was it really over between us? I knew I loved him but I loved that young man he once was, not this guy he’d become. I didn’t even know if I liked 225
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him as a person now. He wasn’t the same as he’d been. He was more agitated. In fact, he acted like an asshole most of the time. And he was a cheater. I never thought I’d have to deal with that from Knute or from any man. However, part of me still ached a little for him, for what we’d had. But I knew over time I’d be free of that, too, especially if he kept acting the way he was acting. I took a breath and realized that I was glad that I was free from him, for at least a little while. As if on cue, my cell phone on the nightstand rang. I groaned, thinking it was Knute, but answered it anyway. “Hello.” “Hey,” Logan said. My heart began to beat rapidly. “Hey.” “Delia gave me your number,” he explained. “Anyway, that’s not important. I just wanted to apologize for the other night. You know, when I kissed you.” “There is no need to apologize,” I said. “Yes, there is,” he said. “I stepped out of line.” “You didn’t,” I said. “You were obviously upset about something and I took advantage.” I almost laughed. “You are such a gentleman!” “No,” he said. “I just don’t want you to think I’m that kind of guy.” “What kind of guy?” “A scammer,” he said. “I’m not. And I’m sorry I stepped out of line. I won’t do it again.” But what if I wanted him to do it again? I smiled a little and said, “You didn’t step out of line.” “What do you mean?” “You know what I mean,” I said, feeling very empowered. “There’s no sense in us pretending, Logan.” 226
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“Oh,” he said. “So, do you want me to…? I mean, can I come over?” I nodded. “Yes, do.” We hung up and I wanted in anxious anticipation for his arrival. I sat on my bed and thought about the reasons I was doing this. Maybe it was wrong. Maybe I was just a floozy. But there was something about Logan I wanted and needed. I had to see if there was something between us. I didn’t want to wait years, either, not like I had with Knute. I was a woman now, not a young girl, and I didn’t have to wait to get what I wanted. I didn’t have to wait for my mother to tell me what to do anymore. Besides, someone in their twenties, like me, should be having fun, right? And this was certainly fun. Maybe I did do it to get even. But mostly, I just wanted Logan. I knew I’d wanted him from the moment I’d seen him, too. But I had been too obsessed with Knute to do anything about it. For some reason, I thought Knute and I belonged together and that our bond was unbreakable. Maybe we didn’t belong together and maybe our bond wasn’t that strong. I especially began to doubt it after I’d seen him with that woman. And now it was my turn. I was going to get even. And I was going to have a good time doing it. I looked down at my outfit of jeans and t-shirt, then went to my closet and took out an outfit I rarely wore—a perfect little black dress. Then I pulled off my bra and panties and took out a black lace set I’d bought in Paris and put them on. Oh, wow. I looked good. The black lace of the bra and panties looked nice against my sun-kissed skin. My body looked sexy and lean and strong. The bra pushed my breasts up so they heaved slightly, as if one touch from someone’s hand would bring them out of their cage. 227
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I slipped the dress over my head, zipped it, then took out a pair of four-inch black designer stilettos, also purchased in Pairs. I shook out my long, dark hair so it looked sexily tousled, a lá Bridgette Bardot. Wow. I looked hot, like I was going on a manhunt, at least that’s what the mirror told me. Oh, my God, should I wear this? What was the message I was trying to convey here? That I wanted to get laid? Or that I was sexy and cool? But then again, I never dressed like this. Logan would think I’d lost my mind. I glanced back into the mirror. I did look really hot. My shoulders slumped. What was I doing? This was crazy! I should just call Logan and call it off. I should call Knute and tell him I forgive him. I should do anything but what I was about to do. Something told me to turn away and to resist the temptation. But the temptation was Logan and any woman would have been powerless. But the outfit was a bit too much. Should I or shouldn’t I? Just then, the doorbell rang. I jumped, knowing it was him and he was there to see me. I glanced back at myself in the mirror. Oh, good Lord, what should I do? The doorbell rang again. Well, I should at least open the door. I went to it, hesitating before I opened it, then drew in a breath and told myself, Whatever will be, will be. And there he was, Logan, standing in front of me, willing and able to bring something I needed into my life. I was suddenly glad I’d opened the door. I moved to the side to let him in and he shut the door behind him. His eyes devoured me but he didn’t speak. It was like he was rendered speechless. I guess the dress was a hit. Then he did something odd. He grabbed the dress at the neck and literally ripped it in two—off my body. It fell to the floor without a sound. I didn’t even glance at it. I was glad he’d done that; I was glad he’d 228
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set the tone of what this visit was really about. And I guess he really liked the dress. I stood there, my heart beating wildly inside my chest and waited for his next move. I stood there in that sexy black lace bra and panty set and four-inch stilettos waiting for him to at least say something. Still, he didn’t speak. I wanted him to, though I was afraid if he did, he’d break the spell. We stared at each other, not saying a word. He seemed to start to ask a question, but changed his mind. I bit my bottom lip and nodded at him, letting him know it was okay, letting him know I wanted it. Please, I wanted it so bad. He looked away for a split-second, then back at me and gave one nod, then he just grabbed and took me over. And I let him take control. I readily gave it over to him. I knew he knew what he was doing and I knew he’d do it well. He came at me, turned me around and pushed me up against the wall so that my back was to him. I smiled and bit my bottom lip. So this was the way it was going to be—rough. I liked it rough. I moaned a little as he bent down behind me and ran his hands up my bare legs and then under my bra, just under it, not taking it off. The electricity of his hands on my bare skin made me shiver with delight. Then it got even better as his hand slid between my legs, resting it there. I was already turned on. I was ready for him. I’d been ready since he called and now nothing mattered but what he was about to do. I paused to take the stilettos off but he stopped me. “No,” he said. “Leave them on.” I nodded and smiled at him. He grinned up at me, then pushed my legs apart and began to eat at me, grabbing my panties and pulling them away from my body until they ripped apart and fell off. I shuddered with ecstasy. Oh, God, I was almost naked and it felt so good, so empowering, so sexy. It was going to be a good one. 229
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I wanted a good one. I loved the fact that he kept me where he wanted me—facing the wall—as he devoured me. It was so hot, I was starting to burn. His face was between my legs and he was eating me, eating every square inch of me down there, licking and slurping and getting into it. He grunted a little and pulled back, watching my face was his fingers played with me. “Oh, God,” I moaned. “Yes. Don’t stop.” I looked over my shoulder at him. He grinned up at me. I smiled down at him and he went back to doing what he did best— giving me pleasure. And give it he did. He couldn’t help it. He was so good at it, that he could have done it for a living. Right now he was doing it to me and he kept at it until I came. I came hard and fast. I came standing up, shivering and shuddering as the bolts of fire coursed though my body. I clawed at the wall as I came, scratching the paint off with my nails. It was that intense. It was that good. I wanted more. He didn’t give me time to recover. He licked and kissed his way up my body, turned me around and grabbed my breasts, scooping them up in his hands. He ripped the bra off my body, then grabbed my naked breasts again and squeezed them. I looked down at his hands, there, on my body, on my breasts. It felt so good, too, almost too good; the pleasure was so good, it was almost unbearable. I threw my head back as he buried his face in my chest. He ate and sucked at my breasts until I thought I would die, it felt so good. He had a way, too. He knew how to lightly pinch my nipples to make them so hard it felt like they would break in two. “Ahh,” I moaned. “Oh, yeah, baby.” He came back to my mouth and sucked at it like he had sucked at my breasts, totally giving himself over to me. I liked that part 230
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best, knowing that no matter what happened, he couldn’t stop now. If he had stopped, I would have killed him. He had total control of me. He could do anything he wanted to me and I would beg for more and more. Give it to me, just don’t
stop! He didn’t stop. It was his turn now, his turn to do the fucking. He moved us over to the hall table, shoving everything off it so he could push me on top. An antique clock that cost a small fortune crashed onto the floor and into a million pieces. Like I cared. Nothing mattered then—nothing. I opened my legs wide and he settled between them, rubbing his crotch against me. I could feel his hard member. I grabbed at it, trying to unzip his jeans and get it out. He pushed my hand away and pulled it out. I drew in my breath as I stared at it, at its length and width. It was the biggest penis I’d ever seen, probably ever would. While Knute had been big, Logan was huge. He was more than well equipped, to put it mildly. I grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head, then leaned in and kissed his chest and nipples, licking my way up to his neck, which I sucked and kissed. He grabbed my hand and put it on his dick and together, we stroked it. It was so hard, it trembled at little. I bent down and took it in my mouth, giving him a little of what he’d given me. I sucked it hard, then slowed down, suckling at the tip until I tasted a little bit of his juice. He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me up, kissed me, then pulled me off the table. I went with him, knowing what he was going to do, knowing how hard he’d drive it in. I went with him as he bent me over the table and drove it in, hard. I gasped as he began to ride me, fuck me, take me over, take me away from it all.
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I started to fuck him back. He bent over my back and sucked at my neck, then moved back up and gave another hard thrust. I felt it then, the other orgasm. He felt it, too. He felt me start to come because he didn’t give me a chance to prolong it. He started driving it into me with all he had and he had quite a bit. Every single inch of that cock filled me up and made me explode with passion and energy. I was shaking I was coming so fast and hard. He was shaking, too. Just then it hit and it hit hard. A scream ripped out of my throat. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back so he could suck and bite at my neck as I came. That made everything intensify and expanded the orgasm. It was almost too much to bear. It was almost too much to take. But I took it all and when it was over, I wanted more of it. We took a moment to recover. “You want a cigarette?” he asked and kissed my cheek. “I don’t smoke,” I said, still out of breath. He chuckled and kissed my neck, then pulled away from me. I watched him as he bent over and picked up his jeans, then pulled them on. Since my clothes were, more or less, destroyed, I grabbed a cashmere throw off the couch and wrapped it around me, then I slipped the stilettos off. He watched me from the corner of his eye, then grinned to himself. That had to be the best I’d ever had and I had a feeling he felt the same way. I couldn’t get over the intensity of it. I wanted more. He smiled at me and lit a cigarette, then sat on the arm of the couch. I smiled back and went over to him, took the cigarette and took a drag. I coughed and handed it back to him, shaking my head. “It’s not for everyone,” he said and smoked.
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I nodded and kissed his neck. Soon, the cigarette was discarded and I was on the couch, on my back, and he was on top of me, giving it to me again. It was like we were caught in a cycle of sex and had to keep doing it. And do it we did. We did it until we fell away from each other, exhausted. And then we did it again. We moved all over my house, into the bathroom and the kitchen and the bedroom. We ended up on the bed, gasping for air. He took a deep breath and stared over at me, then said, “I think I love you.” I was shocked. “What?!” “I said,” he said and kissed my cheek. “I think I love you.” “Are you sure?” I asked. He threw his head back and laughed loudly. “Yeah, I’m sure. Why do you ask that?” “It’s a little soon,” I said. “But we’ve known each other for a while.” I nodded. “Or, rather, we’ve known of each other for a while.” He ducked his head a little and nodded, not catching my eyes, then said softly, “So, I don’t suppose you love me?” I stared at him and I did feel it, even though I was supposed to be in love with Knute. But if I was in love with Knute, how could I have just done all that with Logan? It was too confusing but what wasn’t confusing was the way I felt for Logan and I did feel love. It was different with him than it was with Knute. It seemed more real. It seemed more concrete. I wondered if I’d just been obsessed with Knute and because we’d been separated, I’d held onto that obsession. I didn’t know, but I did know I loved Logan and I’d probably loved him since the day we met. “Huh?” he asked, almost desperately, as if he felt he’d put too much out there and I’d crush it for him.
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“Yeah,” I said. “I do feel it. I think I love you, too.” He grinned. “That’s all I needed to know.”
Two Wrongs I continued my affair with Logan, though we didn’t “date.” We fucked. As new lovers tend to do, we couldn’t get enough of each other. I told him I didn’t care about that other stuff, the dating part. I didn’t care to be wined and dined and courted, I just wanted him. He was happy to comply and we spent our time together having the most intense sex. Between us, there was this electric spark that seemed to intensify each time we came together. And we came together quite a lot. It’s like I had been waiting for this kind of love and sex my whole life and he was the one delivering it. Of course, I felt guilty, but not enough to call it off. I don’t think any amount of guilt would have overridden what I felt for Logan and what I felt was pure unadulterated lust. I’d been subjected to a lifetime of no sex for years, but once I started getting it from him, I had to have it. But I kept it quiet and even let Knute back into my life some. He’d apologized and begged forgiveness. I didn’t move back in with him, as he wanted, but did allow him to stay over occasionally at my house. And when he was gone, I’d go to Logan’s house, which was near Tybee Beach. Of course, I put a little forgetful spell on Knute. I didn’t want him to know what I was doing, so I used the spell as a precaution. Whenever I was around him and he’d say anything that might allude to the fact I was seeing Logan, I’d say, “Nevermind.” And
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then the subject would be changed. I continued to do this, though I knew if he ever found out, there would be hell to pay. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew I shouldn’t be doing what I was doing. And I knew what Knute was capable of if he ever found out. I knew he thought it was one thing for him to sleep around on me, but quite another for me to sleep around on him, especially since I was sleeping with his old nemesis, as he called Logan. Yes, it was a terrible double-standard, but I couldn’t bring myself to confess in hopes that an issue of perspective would save me from his wrath. So, I kept quiet. And I had two lovers and I loved each of them, I really did. I felt enormous guilt over what I was doing to Knute, but I knew he’d done the same to me. I knew he slept around and we both ignored that fact. I figured if we could ignore his indiscretions, we could ignore mine. The only problem was that I was beginning to fall hard for Logan and he wanted me to break it off with Knute. He wanted to marry me and begged me almost daily. Knute wanted the same thing. However, while this seemed like a situation any girl might want to find herself in—being loved and wanted by two gorgeous, not to mention powerful, men—it drove me mad. It upset me so much that I had constant stomach pain. But I couldn’t give either of them up. Besides, I did love each of them, I really did. The thought of losing either of them was pure torment. Sure it was selfish, but I couldn’t stop, even if I wanted to. Something inside of me wouldn’t allow that easy exit. Common sense should have overridden it, but I was too involved in it to see what I was really doing. And what I was doing was creating a big mess. But I couldn’t help myself.
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Over the next little while, Knute became more and more like his old self. He seemed to relax more, smile more and be more like he used to be. And this brought on the guilt and then I’d regret Logan. But then I’d see Logan and I would regret Knute. It was a vicious cycle that was tearing me apart, but I couldn’t stop. It was like I was on drugs and those drugs were love and hot sex, a lethal combination. This went on for well over a year. I had just turned twentyseven when it all came to a head. I knew it would eventually all blow up in my face; I just didn’t want to think about it. Denial is the refuge of fools, but I should have been smarter than that. One night, I went to bed alone and slept soundly until I felt something sitting beside me. I jumped up and screamed. There was man sitting at the foot of my bed. I was about to expel him from the room when I realized it was Alden, in human form. “God, Alden!” I yelled. “What are you doing?” “More like what are you doing,” he said. I put my hand over my racing heart and said, “Have you never heard of doorbells? I have one and it works.” He nodded. “Why are you here?” “I just came to ask you a question,” he said and turned towards me, pulling one leg under him. “What the hell are you doing?” “What do you mean?” “You know what I mean,” he said. “You’re seeing two men. You shouldn’t be doing that to Knute, Clementine.” “But what about what he did to me?” I said. “He cheated on me!” “Two wrongs do not make a right.” “Why are you saying that?” I asked, almost in frustration.
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“Clementine, what you are doing can come to no good end,” he said. “How do you know what I’m doing?” I asked. “You’re supposed to be in Brazil!” “I haven’t been in Brazil in a while,” he said. “Well, you haven’t visited me,” I said and crossed my arms. “That’s not important,” he said. “I’m just here to warn you.” “About what?” “About how you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing,” he said. “Do you love Logan?” I nodded. “I do. I also love Knute.” He shook his head. “End it before it’s too late. End it before Knute finds out. He doesn’t know yet. Or are you just doing this to hurt him?” Was I? Was that what the affair with Logan was all about? No. The affair with him was about us doing what we wanted to do. “You don’t understand,” he said. “This is where it will start if you don’t end it with Logan.” “What will start?” He stood and said, “Delia’s vision.” I felt shivers shoot through my body and my heart seemed to fall to my knees. But then I became suspicious. “But Delia said it was okay. She doesn’t even talk about it anymore.” He stared at me. “And don’t you think that’s just a bit odd?” I had to agree. It was a bit odd. Alden left me right after he spoke those words, leaving me to wonder about what to do. I was even more confused than I was before. I knew it was time to end it with one of them; just which one was what was baffling me. But, as 237
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fate would have it, I never had to make a decision. It wasn’t me who put an end to it. In the end, the decision became not a decision but a reaction to what was about to happen. How odd it is that something so good could go so bad so quickly. And it went bad within a matter of days. It hit me out of the blue and knocked me cold. And Knute was the cause of it, of course. Logan and I had arranged to meet at his house that afternoon. I thought I’d be safe because Knute usually slept most of the day away. I teased him about it once, calling him a vampire, and he told me the best stuff happened at night and he’d rather be up all night doing “cool” stuff than awake all day doing “boring” stuff. So, I was surprised when he showed up at my house. In fact, we almost bumped into each other at the front door. “Where are you going?” he asked. “Uh, out,” I said. “No, you’re not,” he said and grabbed my arm, pulling me into the house. “What do you want?” I asked. “And let go of my arm!” He threw me away from him, almost in disgust. That’s when I knew he knew. Alden had been right. I only wished he’d told me sooner, even though I probably wouldn’t have listened. “I know about you and your boyfriend,” he said. How? Was the spell not working anymore? Had it never worked? What did this mean? “Yeah, the spell,” he said. “Not a great one, Witch Little. But it did work for a while.” “How did you find out?” “Does it matter?” he asked and pulled a pair of my panties out of his pocket. “I found these at Logan’s. Didn’t I buy these for you in Paris?” 238
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He had. I snatched them out of his hand and said, “What were you doing at Logan’s?” “I had my suspicions for a while,” he said. “So, I went over there to confront him but he wasn’t home. After I let myself in, I found your panties on the floor next to his bed.” God, I was an idiot. It’s always something stupid that does a person in. “So, it’s true, isn’t it? You’ve been fucking him for a while now, haven’t you?” I nodded, wondering about what was to come. I braced myself and not a moment too soon, because he lifted his hand quickly and I went flying across the room and crashed into the wall. I fell to the floor and groaned. He stomped over to me, picked me up and shook me. “You think you can fool me? Huh? And with that goody-two-shoes? That know-it-all! God! Him? Him of all people!” I stared at him and said, “Release.” He released me and I moved away from him quickly. “That’s alright,” he said. “When I get done with him, I’ll come back for you.” “What do you mean?” “Don’t wait up for your boyfriend,” he said. “What does that mean?” I asked, panicking. “You’ll find out soon enough.” “Knute!” I yelled. “Don’t leave!” But he was out the door and on his way to do God knows what. Just then, the phone rang. It was Delia who told me we’d been called again. I’d been called many times since moving to Savannah and it was getting to be almost a monthly thing. But today I couldn’t do it.
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“I can’t leave right now,” I said. “I had a big fight with Knute and—” “You can take care of that when you get back,” she said. “We have to go.” “But—” “Clementine,” she said. “This is your calling. This is your duty. Whatever is going on will be going on when you get back. This isn’t a request. It’s an order. You don’t have a choice in the matter.” “Okay,” I said. “Come get me.” “Bye,” she said and hung up. I stared at the phone, then picked up and called Logan, explaining that I couldn’t make it and that Knute had found out about us. “I’m afraid he’d going to do something to you,” I told him. “You have to leave. Protect yourself.” “I’m not afraid of him,” he said. “Logan,” I begged. “Please, just listen to me.” “It’s okay,” he said. “I’ll be waiting on you when you get back.” “No,” I said. “You have to leave. You have to protect yourself. He’s acting crazy!” “Oh, he’s a big blow-hard,” he said. “Don’t worry about him. I’ve always been able to handle him. Go do your thing and then come over.” “Logan,” I aid. “I’ve never seen him like this. Please leave.” “He can’t hurt me,” he said. “He’s a witch, not God. He thinks he’s got more power than he does.” I wasn’t so sure. I begged him to leave, to find cover until I got back, but he told me no and that he’d be waiting on me when I got back. And then he told me not to worry. Like that was going to happen.
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Witches Gone Bad It was just Delia, Rex and myself over the pot and this time, it wasn’t demons, but other witches who had gone bad, who had crossed over to the dark side. They came out of the pot screaming and cursing us. One of them tried to scratch my eyes out. I had to fling her against the wall of the cave where she crashed into it and burst into flames. About halfway into it, I began to lose my concentration, thinking of everything that was going on with Logan and Knute. This wasn’t good for stirring the pot. “Hold,” Delia told me. “You’re losing your concentration.” I held onto the stick but my thoughts kept drifting back to Logan and Knute. Surely, Logan was safe. Surely, Knute couldn’t hurt him. Oh, God, this was absolute torture. “Come on, you bitches!” Rex hissed. Delia and I glanced at him. “I don’t mean you!” he said and shook his head at us. “Come on and let’s get this done!” More and more of them came out, almost thirty total. When it was over, I fell against the wall and caught my breath. “Phew,” Rex said and fell back, too. “That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Those were some bad-ass witches.” “Witches gone bad,” I said and we laughed. “You’re right about that,” Delia said and collapsed next to me. “Are you okay, Clementine?” I nodded. “I have to get back. Can you teleport me? It’s an emergency.” “Sure,” she said. “Where do you want to go?”
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“Logan’s,” I said. She eyed me. “Logan’s?” “I can explain later,” I said. “But just do it now.” Rex raised one eyebrow, then Delia shrugged and put her hand over my eyes. She said, “Go now.” And then I was in Logan’s house. Actually, I fell into his house from the ceiling and right onto my butt. I moaned and rubbed it, then got up and looked around. It appeared as if nothing had happened and his always neat and clean house was still neat and clean. I breathed a sigh of relief and looked around the nice house. It was so beachy with its bleached wood floors and light, nautical blue walls. I loved it here. I loved coming over. I loved Logan. Logan?” I said and looked around. “Logan?” I ran through the house looking for him, sure that he was okay, that he’d taken my advice and that he’d left in time. I had just entered the kitchen when I saw him. And when I saw him, a scream tore out of my throat. Noooo! He was lying motionless on the floor. Please, God, no! He’d been mangled. I ran to him. “Logan!” I screamed. “Logan, wake up!” He wasn’t dead. His eyes fluttered open and he tried to focus on me. He murmured, “I waited on you.” “Oh, God,” I cried. “What happened?” “Knute,” he said. “Watch out for Knute.” My stomach bottomed out. “He’s got something…” he said, then stopped talking. “He’s done something… Clementine, just go, leave.” “Logan,” I said. “Don’t you dare die on me! Don’t you dare!” “I love you,” he murmured. “I always did, even back then.” “Back when?” I asked. “Back when you were younger,” he said. “Don’t you remember me?” 242
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I thought about it. I shook my head. “Back in Webster,” he said softly. “Back then, Delia called me. But you ignored me. I pretended to work at the grocery store.” “Oh, my God!” I said. “I remembered you, too, that day at the cave when we first met! I just couldn’t figure out where I had seen you.” He tried to smile, then spoke so softly I had to put my ear near his mouth. “I put a little spell on you so you wouldn’t remember how I’d begged. I was a little embarrassed by it.” “Logan,” I said, whispering. “Please, honey, don’t die on me.” He smiled slightly and said, “You were the girl I was talking about.” “What?” I asked and rose up. “At the party that day,” he said, coughing. “But Knute won, not me. He found out I had been sent to distract you and that’s why he broke the protection spell. Powerful stuff. I still don’t know how he did it.” I stared at him, thinking about his “story” at Delia’s party that night I’d caught Knute with that woman. Was I the object of the rivalry they had? How was that? Then I thought about the timeline. Then I understood it all. Back in Webster, all those years ago, Delia must have summoned Logan to see if she could get my mind off of Knute. And then Knute had suddenly shown up, as if overnight. He had shown up and we’d made love for the first time, even thought it was him Delia and my mother were trying to keep away. And he’d shown up because he’d caught wind of Logan trying to date me and that’s when Knute had broken the protection spell. And that’s when we had moved. And after that… Oh, God, did Knute have anything to do with my mother dying? It was too much. I was about to go into overload. I was about to pass out. What the hell was happening? Oh, God, what a mess I’d caused and 243
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for what? I didn’t know. I’d never know. Why did it have to be like this? “It just is,” Logan said and coughed. “Stop reading my mind, Logan,” I said and almost laughed, then I started to cry. I couldn’t believe this was the young boy who’d asked me over and over to go out with him. If I’d just done that, all of this mess could have been avoided. Why was I such an idiot? What was wrong with me? Why had I been so obsessed with Knute I couldn’t see what was right in front of my face the whole time— love. I’d had all this love being offered up to me but I’d turned away from it and caused everyone an awful lot of trouble. “Not your fault,” he said. “Not your fault, beautiful.” “Logan, let me heal you,” I said and placed my hands on him but the power didn’t come. I yelled, “Heal!” But he didn’t heal. He was too far gone. He grabbed my hand and shook his head. “I love you, Clementine. I really do. Please don’t forget that.” “Don’t you dare do this to me!” I yelled. “It was good while it lasted, though, wasn’t it?” he said and smiled at me as best he could. “I only wanted that. It was good, wasn’t it?” “It was,” I said. “It was so good and I fucked it up, Logan and I am so sorry!” “I love you,” he said and moved his face to indicate he wanted to kiss me. I bent down and kissed his lips softly, then pulled back and said, “I love you, too. You’re going to be okay. I’ll heal you, Logan.” He smiled softy and shook his head, as if he’d accepted his fate and he was just going with it. That killed me, to see this strong man, this wonderful witch, just give up like that.
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“No!” I yelled. “Don’t, Logan, don’t you dare! Don’t die on me! I can’t stand it, Logan. Please! Don’t die! Let me heal you! God, please let me heal him! It isn’t fair!” I looked down at him. He smiled softly at me then his eyes rolled back into his head. And he was gone. “Damn it!” I screamed and shook my fists in the air. Tears streamed down my face. Why couldn’t I have healed him? But I knew that it was beyond me to do this. But I had been his undoing and for that I was sorry. “Are you done reminiscing?” Knute said, walking into the room. It didn’t even surprise me to see him there. I could have killed him. How dare he do what he just did? And for what? Nothing! To prove a point that wasn’t worth proving? To claim me? He was going to pay. And he was going to pay for a very long time. I turned on him. “You evil bastard! How could you have—” His hand flew into the air and I was thrown across the room. He was so angry, it was like he was a totally different person—and witch. This was the side of himself that I’d glimpsed in Europe. After I crashed into the wall, I got up and said, “You’re going to pay for this.” “You first,” he said and waved his hand again. This time, I flew up against the ceiling, then came crashing down. I yelled, “Hold!” just before I hit, then fell softly against the floor. I stood and faced him and said, “You better get your rest now because you’re gonna need it.” “No, that’s you,” he said and turned his finger in circle. I went into circles, circling all around the room, getting dizzier and dizzier, bouncing into things. I crashed into the wall and fell to the floor. He stomped over and picked me up by the head of the hair. 245
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“I trusted you,” he said. “And look at what you did!” “You’ve done worse!” I yelled, then said, “Release!” “Oh, you won’t get out of that one so soon,” he said. He was right. It didn’t work. His spell held. Why wasn’t it working? I should have been able to easily break his spells. Logan was right. He had done something to himself. He chuckled and released me, then stood up, towering over me. He began to chant, “Witch Little, Witch Little, where did you go?
Witch Little, Witch Little, doesy-do. Witch Little, Witch Little, crash into the sea, Witch Little, Witch Little, do as you did unto me.” What the hell was that? But then, it started. I blacked out and found myself at the beach, in the water, crashing onto the surf. My face hit it the beach hard and I lost consciousness for a few seconds. I almost drowned. I felt my eyes swelling and my limbs ached. I finally managed to get up and stumble up the beach. Everyone stopped and stared at me, but I waved to them and said, “Go back,” and they went back to what they were doing without giving me a second look. I ran all the way to Logan’s house, wishing Delia would have taught me to teleport. Logan’s house was a good quarter-mile from the beach and I was out of breath almost immediately, due to almost drowning. I almost fell several times because I was beaten so badly, but I managed to make it into the house. Knute was gone but Logan was still there and he was still dead. I collapsed beside him and started to sob uncontrollably. It seemed as though I’d never stop crying. All of a sudden, I felt someone behind me. I turned to see Delia. “Oh, my God,” she said and rushed over to me. “What happened?”
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“Knute killed Logan,” I said and stared at her from the corner of my almost swollen shut eye. “Oh, Clementine,” she said as a sob escaped her throat. “I’m so sorry.” “For what?” I asked and wiped the tears off my face. “You didn’t do this.” “No,” she said. “But I was weak, you see and he… Knute… I didn’t realize it until today when you said you were going to Logan’s. When you left, I asked Rex to check me, to see if anyone had cursed me or put me under a spell. He did and I came out of it.” “What are you saying?” “I was under a spell,” she said. I didn’t comprehend what she was saying for a second, then I got it. Everything made sense and it became crystal clear. “He put a spell on me,” she said. “It was only today did I realize what he’d done. It was a very powerful spell. But by the time I figured it out, it was too late.” She was right. It was too late. “It was the night after our first battle,” she said. “He knew I would be weakened and he’d be able to pull that with me.” I nodded and felt my eye throb. I put my hand over my eye and said, “Heal,” and my eye healed. Then I did this silently with my whole body, healing it. After I was done, I felt like myself again and I could focus on what Delia was saying. “I was foolish,” she said. “It was my fault. I thought if I separated you two that you’d find others to love. I didn’t realize that the one way to keep someone in love is to keep them apart, if they are really and truly in love with each other.” I looked away. It was true. The more I couldn’t have him, the more I wanted him. The more time that passed, the more passion I felt. 247
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“Not having something you want is like a drug,” she went on. “If the need is never met, the need grows and grows until it drives you crazy, until it drives you to do things you know you shouldn’t do, but you do them because you have no choice. It’s that need that isn’t met that causes the world so much trouble.” I stood and began to pace. So Knute had orchestrated all of this. That night he’d come to me, the day my mother had died, was because he had put a spell on Delia and everybody else in my life, making them think that everything was fine now, that the threat of danger was over. “There were three black birds in the yard the day my mother died,” I said suddenly. “It was a warning, that’s all,” Delia said. “You don’t think Knute…?” “No,” she said. “I don’t.” I turned to her, crossing my arms. “Delia, it’s a little too coincidental.” She nodded. “I know. It is. But he wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t allow it.” “But if he put a spell on you, he could have.” She nodded slightly, as if she were thinking. “I always felt he might try to do something to your mother, so I bound him in regards to her. I hate to even admit doing that because it’s like then you’re guilty by association, you know? But he couldn’t have done anything to her. The spell was strong and, after she died, I checked and it was still intact, so when he was sleeping, I undid it.” “But he turned up at my house that very day.” “I don’t know why he waited so long,” she said. “I just don’t know, Clementine. He’s my son and he’s evil. I can’t even begin to tell you how that feels.” I nodded. 248
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“All I know is that I am so sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry I kept you two apart and I’m sorry your mother died and I’m sorry about Logan. But, Clementine, your mother died in a freak accident. And if Knute did have something to do with it, I would have known.” I breathed a sigh of relief, but then felt bad again for what was about to come. It wasn’t over and I knew that. In fact, it had just begun. “If he had just been patient, I told him I was working on a potion,” she said. “I had it ready for him and was going to administer it that night. But he was too impatient.” “What were you going to do?” I asked. “It was kind of like I was going to un-witch him,” she said. “It would have stripped him of any power he had. It would have been a cruel thing but you two could have lived happily ever after.” “But you’re a powerful witch,” I said. “How did he put a spell on you?” She swallowed hard. “He had to have more power than he had. And, like I said, my power was low because of the pot stirring. Also…” “What?” “He drank demon blood,” she said. “In order to get what he wanted.” “And what was that?” “Absolute power,” she said. “He’s stronger now than we could ever imagine. But he has one weakness and we must play on that.” “What is it?” “You.” I looked away, feeling like the weight of the world was now placed on my shoulders. “But it taught me a lesson,” she said. “What’s that?” 249
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“That you can’t mess with fate,” she replied. “And if you try, you’re going to pay for it.” She was right. She had tampered with fate and so had I. Fate had sent me Logan all these years ago and I’d been too dumb to see him. I’d been too obsessed to see what was right in front of my face the whole time. I loved Knute, but it was more the obsession of not having him that made me turn away from all the other good things in my life, including my mother. I had been selfish and I had ignored fate. I was as much to blame as anyone else. “He’ll come back,” she said. “He’s not finished with you. He’ll come back.” “And I’ll be ready.”
The Middle of the Road He taunted me, on and off, for about a month. He would come to me late at night and stand at the foot of my bed. When I’d jerk awake, he’d laugh and disappear. He was getting stronger and more daring. But so was I. I didn’t even try to hide from him. I didn’t put a veil of protection over myself. I just waited for him to come so I could destroy him. But he was in hiding and he only appeared whenever he thought I was at my most vulnerable. I tried to call him out, but he stayed tucked away. I knew that I would eventually get him. He could run, but he wasn’t going to be able to hide much longer. After what he had done to Logan, he was going to pay. I was going to make sure of it. One night, I was out late at night driving. It was on this old back road near Delia’s house. I’d been there studying ways to bring
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him out so I could deal with him. And there in the middle of the road was Knute. I slammed the breaks on and the Range Rover skidded to a halt, barely missing him. “Watch it, Witch Little,” he said, slapping the hood. I gunned it. He jumped up and over the car. I stopped the car and looked behind me. He was standing in the middle of the road again, facing me. I turned around but he held up one hand, palm facing out, and the car wouldn’t budge. Fuck it. I put it in gear and turned the engine off, leaving the lights on. “So, this is it,” I said and got out of the SUV. He seemed pleased that he’d made me get out and even smiled at me. He said, “Nice to see you, sweetheart.” “Well, it won’t be nice for long.” He laughed and raised his hand. “What a way with words.” I waited. He wasn’t going to trick me into anything. Just then, I felt his power stir and I held up my hand and said, “Desist.” His hand fell down and he shook it, as if it’d become numb. Then he stared at me and started to walk towards me. I held my ground and waited. I couldn’t attack until attacked. If I did, he’d be on me in a second. And I had to see how strong he was. If I attacked first, and he was stronger than me, he could easily overtake me. I just had to sit and wait on him to make the move. He stooped behind me and whispered in my ear, “Miss me much?” “No,” I said. “Not at all.” “Liar,” he said and turned me around to face him. “Tell me you’ve missed me.” “I haven’t,” I said. “Miss me,” he hissed. I closed my eyes and felt, for the first time, that love I’d once felt for him until it got mangled up in the jealousy. Then I felt him 251
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bending down to me and the next thing I knew, he was kissing me. I pushed him away and tried to get him off me, but he was so strong. He kept at it, kept kissing me until I began to kiss him back, eating at his lips and mouth. What was I doing? I couldn’t stop. But then I didn’t care. Something seemed to take us over and we went at each other like animals that couldn’t wait to get at each other. We both knew what we were doing. It was a grudge fuck. He getting back at me for all the hurt I’d caused him. But then again, that’s what I was doing, too. It was almost too much. Fucking him like this almost made me forget that I had to destroy him. I kissed him so hard, I tasted his blood. He shoved me back up against the hood of the car and pushed me down on it. Then he went at me, tearing at my clothes, ripping them from my body until I was naked beneath him. I grabbed at his zipper, trying to get it down as he ate at my breast, leaving teeth marks. He shoved himself into me hard and I gasped from the pressure of being taken. I grabbed onto him, pushing him deeper into me and grinding myself against him. It wasn’t long before we were both coming, almost wailing animalistically as we erupted. I was coming hard and so was he. I bit into his shoulder just as the last of it hit me, and then I fell back onto the car. He zipped his pants as he backed away from me. He said, “That’s love. You may not think so, but it’s love, Clementine. Don’t you ever forget that. Don’t ever forget what I did was because of love.” “You can’t excuse what you did,” I said, pulling on my clothes. “You have to pay for it.” “I am paying,” he said and held out his arm which was covered with red, ugly marks. “They suck my blood everyday, Clementine. Everyday, they eat part of me.” 252
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I stared at him in shock. “Why Knute? Why would you let them do that? Why?” “Because I had no other choice,” he said. “Don’t you see? These people would have never let us be together.” “Did you ever think we weren’t meant to be?” “No,” he said. “But obviously you did.” “That’s not what I meant,” I said. “That is what you meant,” he said, not disguising the hurt in his voice. “I knew they were trying to set you up with Logan and that killed me. I got desperate and I went to see those demons. They told me they’d give me more power than I ever dreamed of if I’d just give them some blood. It was an easy decision.” “No, it wasn’t! What made you do that to yourself?” “Because I wanted you,” he replied. I jerked back at his words, but shook it off. “I don’t know what to say to you,” I said. “But you didn’t have to kill Logan.” “I didn’t kill him,” he said. “It was an accident. Self-defense.” “What?” I asked, aghast. “I went in there to confront him,” he said. “And it got out of control. He was throwing curses at me from the moment I got there. It was crazy. I hadn’t even intended on even fighting with him.” “Then what did you want?” “I just wanted to ask him why he did it,” he said. “But then it got out of hand and… Well, you know.” I stared at him. “No, you killed him. You knew he’d fight you and you knew you’d win.” “Not really,” he said. “I had no intention, but he had every intention of killing me. But I guess that would have been okay, wouldn’t it?”
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I stared at him, then away. What an awful mess this was. I asked in anguish, “How did he deserve that?” “I didn’t mean to do it, Clementine,” he said. “I know you’ll never believe that, but I didn’t.” I didn’t know what to believe. I knew that something like that could get out of control very quickly, though. You don’t go there if you don’t have to. You don’t fight like that. You just don’t. Oh, God, this was such a mess and I’d caused it all. I only wished I could go back in time and fix everything and Logan would still be alive and Knute and I would still be in love like we used to be; like we were when we were kids. But I couldn’t do that. It wasn’t possible. “But why even go there, Knute?” I asked. “Why not let it go? Why have all this animosity for him?” “Because he knew how much I loved you and how much you loved me,” he said. “He knew and he insinuated himself in your life and made you turn to him. He came between us, Clementine! It’s because of him that all this happened.” “I turned to him because you were screwing around on me!” I yelled. “You hurt me so bad, Knute! All I wanted was to be with you and when you did that, I felt like you didn’t want me at all.” “She meant nothing to me!” he roared. “Nothing! I told you that! And what you did was worse because you loved that bastard!” He was right. I did love him, but that made it worse? How was that? But then I got it. It was bad to cheat on someone with someone you had no feelings towards, but to cheat on someone and feel something was a different ballgame. That feeling you had for them meant you were taking away from their love, the love they’d claimed. And that’s why it was different. But I hadn’t taken anything away from Knute and given it to Logan. I still loved
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Knute and I loved Logan. It didn’t seem logical that I could, but I did. A sob escaped my throat. “How could you do that to another human being, Knute?” “Because it killed me to know you loved him!” he yelled. “You’re only supposed to love me!” I looked away from him. “Did you love him more than me?” he asked, almost desperately. I stared at him and nodded, really wanting to hurt him, even if it might not be true. “I did. I’m sorry, but I did, Knute. If I could have changed it, I would have. We were just kids, Knute. We were just kids and kids don’t know how to deal with love.” “I knew,” he said, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe I’d said all that, that I’d admitted it. “After all I did for us to be together, you just walked all over me, all over my love for you! We were ‘just kids’? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I might have been a kid, but what I felt for you was real, Clementine. It was real.” “I’m sorry,” I said. “I loved you, too, it’s just that—” “I don’t want to hear this bullshit!” he said, obviously hurt. “All I know was that I loved you and still do, God help me! And I waited on you! I did everything in my power to get back to you and even had to put myself in danger to do it. I didn’t care! I would have walked through fire for you, Clementine!” “I’m sorry,” I said. “I am so sorry.” He turned to walk away, then turned back and said, “I won’t bother you again.” I knew he was lying. I felt it. He kept walking away from me. I had an urge to make it up to him, to try and make peace. I said, “Knute! Don’t go like this!” 255
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He threw something at me and it hit me like a soft breeze. I didn’t know what it was, but it left me a little weak and out of breath. I ignored it and wondered for an instant how we’d gotten here, to this ugly place of hate when there had been so much love between us. And I knew I wouldn’t see him again for a long time and when I did, it would be the last time and something bad would come out of it. A few weeks later, I found out I was going to have his baby. And that’s when I went into hiding.
Glenda As I was named for my grandmother, so was she. Her name was Glenda. She was a pretty little baby with big blue eyes and blond hair like her father’s. She was, in a word, perfect. But I suppose all new mothers think that about their babies. I was no different and couldn’t get enough of her. I would take pictures of her all the time because I didn’t want to miss a thing. I would sit and hold her, marveling at her little fingers and toes. I never wanted to put her down and was constantly cuddling her. And she was a perfect baby, too. She never cried unless she was hungry or needed a diaper change. Nothing prepared me for the love I would feel for my daughter. It was an overwhelming love, full of hope and promise. The only thing that tainted that love was the fact that her father was after me. And I knew he wouldn’t stop until he’d done me harm. I was so lucky to have Delia by my side during this time. She was ecstatic at having a grandchild and constantly doted on her.
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We decided that we would raise her together. But we would have to do so in hiding. As soon as Glenda was born, we moved to a house in the mountains of Tennessee, near a town called Tellico. It was a small cabin with only three small bedrooms, but it was good enough for us for the time being. I put a wall of protection around it and prayed Knute wouldn’t try to do her harm. Glenda became everything in my life. She was my whole reason for being. I had to protect her and I had to find a way out of hiding so she could live a normal life. I mean, she had to go to school. She had to live a good life. She had to have a childhood. I couldn’t keep her covered forever and I knew that. That meant I had to find a way to defeat Knute. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I had to find a way. But then, I got thrown a curveball. When Glenda was about two months old, I began to suspect that something was wrong. She began to act slightly odd, differently than how she had been. My perfect baby wasn’t perfect and that frightened me. And it wasn’t anything obvious, either. I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong. It was just that was never very active. She was lethargic. She would look around and smile, but she didn’t move much. It was like she had no energy. At first, I ignored it, thinking she’d grow out of it, but I knew something was not right. Of course, my first instinct was to heal her myself. And I tired. I tried so many times, I exhausted myself. But I couldn’t heal her. My gift was no use to my baby. When I finally accepted that I couldn’t help her, I called in a doctor who told me he couldn’t figure it out, that he’d never seen anything like that and that there was nothing he could do. I felt terrible and when he left, Delia stared at me sadly and said, “It’s a curse, honey.” “What?” I asked. 257
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“I think Knute’s cursed you,” she said. “He doesn’t even know about Glenda,” I said, then remembered he’d thrown something that night at me before he’d left. “Oh, no, I think you’re right.” I sat down and put my head in my hands, then looked up at her. “What can we do?” “We can try to remove it,” she said. And we tried. We tried everything. We made remedies and potions. We took her to several witches who told us nothing could be done to reverse the curse. We did everything in our power to heal Glenda, but nothing we did would work. Knute left me alone for the most part, but sometimes I could feel him sending me threats. He was still angry, still jealous. This went on for nearly three years. Three years. Three years was a long time to wait for someone to come after you. But wait I did. I had to do something about my baby, but what I could do was beyond me. Glenda grew but she was weak. I would hold her in my arms and pray to God to help my baby. She would stare up at me and smile. She talked fine, she was smart; she just couldn’t run like other kids or play too long. It broke my heart to see her like that, to know I’d done something to cause it. I wanted so much for her to be normal, whatever that meant, and to have friends and a full, happy childhood. I felt like I was robbing her of that. But it wasn’t me. It was Knute. Alden even came in and tried to help. “It’s the damndest thing,” he said, shaking his head. “I’ve never seen anything like it. What did he do?” I recounted the story over and over, but none of us could figure out what kind of curse it was. “Did he say anything to you as he was leaving?” Alden asked, yet again.
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I thought hard but came up with nothing. All I remembered was him raising his hand up at me and me feeling odd, weak, like Glenda felt now. Delia’s face lit up. “I know what happened! He thought he cursed you, but it got the baby instead.” She was right. And for that, I felt awful. I would have rather been the one who had been cursed. It drove me mad, trying to counter it, but nothing worked. Alden stared over at Glenda who was lying on the floor, playing with her toys. “You know, she’s going to be something, don’t you?” I had to smile because I knew. There was something else about Glenda that was different. She was a witch, too, but I had a feeling she would be even more powerful than Knute and I combined, but that made sense because there was an enormous amount of power between us. When she was just two, she could levitate things. Two! I was in my teens before I could do this! (Of course, I’d had my powers bound by my mother for most of my childhood, but still.) When she turned three, she could snap her fingers and light candles. And then, out of nowhere, she started looking at potion books and asking what certain ingredients would do. While she couldn’t read yet, she understood what the books were for and what ingredients did. I knew witches in their forties who still couldn’t do this. And she did all of this without prompting, without any training. It was amazing. In a way, her power scared me. But mostly, it made me proud. Delia and I tried to make her life as normal as we possibly could. We went to the zoo a few times—disguised, of course—and then to a pizzeria with arcade games, which she loved, though soon tired of. We wanted her to see the world, so we would teleport in 259
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and out of places. We had to be quick and couldn’t malinger around, but whenever we’d go someplace new, Glenda’s eyes would light up and she’d smile. “Ooh,” she’d say softly. “Ooh, wow.” She was especially fond of the Eiffel Tower and the Egyptian pyramids. They were “Pretty!” Of course, her favorite place was Disneyworld and just going once was never an option. We also had elaborate birthday parties. Each year, we’d come up with a different theme and magic would do the rest. For her first birthday, she wanted zoo animals, so we had an elephant and a giraffe and all sort of zoo animals, even monkeys. And for her second, she was interested in fish, so we had an aquarium party. As for her third? She was all into fairy princesses, so a few dropped by. The parties were lavish with delicious birthday cakes, one that was almost three foot tall, and her favorite foods, which meant chicken nuggets and French fries. Delia and I would spend time planning them and came up with extravagant ideas. This helped to pass the time, which mostly dragged. Oh, yes, the time dragged on. I hated that I was stuck in this predicament and that meant Glenda was stuck, too. I hated that I was weak and couldn’t cure her on my own. I hated that this was something beyond my control. And I hated that I was afraid of Knute; not afraid of what he would do to me, but what he might try to do to her. This anxiety kept me in a state of sheer terror for years, building on itself until I thought I would lose my mind. But there wasn’t anything to do. I couldn’t draw him out and force him to reverse the curse. I couldn’t do anything but sit and wait for the ax to fall. And it was going to fall soon, I knew that. He’d waited long enough. It wouldn’t be long before he came to get his revenge. And I had to be ready for that. I’d prepared for it since the last night we’d seen each other. I dreaded it, but at the same time, I
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knew that I’d be so glad when it was all over. And that day was a long time in coming. One day, I was out in the yard trimming the trees when the wind started blowing hard all of a sudden. It blew so hard it was, in fact, howling. I looked up to see the sky darken. I knew that it wouldn’t be long before Knute came. If he’d been carousing with demons for too long, he would soon turn into one. And that meant, he would come after me and then, once he found out about her, Glenda. He had to be stopped and I had to find a way to stop him. And get that curse reversed. I went back to trimming trees, then looked to my left and gasped. There were three black birds, just like on the day my mother had died. My heart started beating wildly. It was a warning. He was coming and he was coming soon. And it wouldn’t be the Knute I’d met on that dark road that night. This Knute would be different. He would be more powerful and more dangerous and more evil. And this Knute probably wouldn’t love me anymore. “Go,” I said to the black birds. “Leave them be,” someone said behind me. “They’re there to let you know when something’s about to happen.” I turned to see my mother. I wasn’t shocked or surprised. I’d been waiting for her to turn up like this for years. Sometimes, especially right after Glenda was born, I’d see a shadow and know she was near. And at other times, Glenda would start gurgling or laughing for no reason. I had a feeling she was near and making her laugh, which would make me smile, knowing that Glenda was having some contact with her grandmother. But she’d never made a full-bodied appearance like this. I was so happy to see her I could have cried. Seeing her like that gave me such great hope.
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She smiled at me and then she glanced towards the house. “Do you always keep her hidden?” “Yes,” I said. She nodded that she understood. “Clementine, you will have your answers soon and your peace.” “Oh, Mommy,” I said and almost cried. “I’m so scared.” She shushed me and came to my side, wrapping her arms around me. “Nothing will ever hurt that child. Even if he tried, he couldn’t touch her. She is stronger than any witch that lives today.” “How do you know?” I asked. “She’s so weak. She can barely run around the yard.” “Just find the remedy,” she said. “We’ve looked everywhere,” I said, feeling frustrated. “We can’t make her better.” “Yes, you can,” she said. “You know how.” “What do you mean?” I asked. Just then, Delia came running out of the house, yelling my name. I turned to her, then back to my mother. But my mother was now gone. Delia rushed up, waving a book. “I found it! I found a counter spell! We can cure Glenda!” For the first time in a long time, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Surely, life would be normal someday soon. She stopped breathlessly in front of me and said, “But we have to get something from Knute.”
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The Final Battle And that’s where we were, fighting. We were in the hole together, each of us fighting to bring the other down, but for very different reasons. We were both expending every bit of power we had to get what we wanted. What I wanted was a cure for Glenda and what he wanted was to do me in. But that wasn’t the only reason we were fighting. We were fighting because of our lost love. It’s so hard to lose love and when you do, it’s so hard to let it go. The void the emptiness brings about is almost unbearable. But I had my baby to help fill the void. Knute didn’t have anyone. We were both trying to get something out of each other we’d lost somewhere. But as soon as Knute realized that Glenda was his, he changed. All of energy, his whole aura changed. He stopped fighting. He told me to take whatever I needed from him. “We can’t go on like this,” he said. “No, we can’t,” I replied, nodding. “Fix her,” he said. “Fix her and make her better. The curse is reversible. I didn’t know you got pregnant that night or that it would affect her. If I had of known…” I almost burst into tears. “If I had known,” he said again. “I would have done things so differently.” “Me too,” I said. He stared into my eyes and let out a sigh. “You keep her well, you hear me? And please don’t tell her what an awful person her father was. He just loved her mother too much, Witch Little. That’s all. I never meant to hurt you.”
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It’s funny how love tears people to pieces. It’s funny how something that should always make you feel good can make you feel so bad and act so vengeful. And that’s because love is such a raw, human emotion. “Out,” I said and we both rose up out of the hole and were on the ground. I looked over at Glenda and waved her to me. She came slowly and stared at Knute with curiosity. It’s like she knew he was her father. Of course, I had told her about him and showed her pictures. And, of course, she was always asking questions about him. What child wouldn’t? I didn’t mention any of the bad he’d done, either, as that wouldn’t have been fair to her. To her, Knute was her daddy who was “off somewhere traveling the world” and “a little sick” and who would “come and see her someday.” I know that in her child’s mind, he was a great person, this man she would always build up to be someone special. He was her daddy and I would never, ever tell her otherwise. I wouldn’t disrespect their relationship like that, even if that relationship existed only in her mind. “Is this him?” she asked. I nodded. “This is your daddy.” She took his hand and pressed it to her little face. She said, “Hello, Daddy. Have you been somewhere traveling the world?” He almost cried, as did I. He stared at me and understood what I’d done. He knew I’d never badmouthed him to her and when he stared into my eyes, I knew he was thankful for this. I nodded and stepped away from them so they could be together. “Uh, yes, I have,” he said and bent down to her. “Hello, little girl. So, pretty, so much like your mother.”
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She looked at me and I nodded. She bent over and kissed his cheek, then pulled back and exclaimed, “Granny got me a giraffe for my birthday!” He laughed and shook his head. “Oh, is that what she did? That was nice, wasn’t it?” “It was and big!” He glanced up at me and I shrugged. He shook his head, then pulled Glenda into a deep hug, holding her tight for a moment, then said, “You should go now. But it was nice seeing you.” “You come and see me,” she said and pulled away. “We live in the woods.” He nodded. “Maybe someday, baby.” “Bye,” she said and held out her hand to me, which I took. “Bye,” he said. “You be good for your mother, okay?” “I will,” she said. I turned to him and said, “I’ll always make sure she knows about you, Knute.” “You do that, Witch Little.” I nodded and we started off. I turned back to him and saw this unbearable look of sadness on his face. He was watching us, his little family, walk away. It was almost too much. I only wished I could have done something to make it right. But what was done, was done. And there was nothing I could do except protect my child. “Hey,” he called. “Do you remember when we first got together and I took you to paradise?” I squeezed my eyes shut. I had forgotten but I did remember. One day, after my lesson with Delia, Knute had taken my hand and led me into the woods, telling me he was taking me to paradise and it was a “trick” he’d learned from his dad. “My dad told me it works with all the chicks.” 265
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And he’d been right. Once we entered the woods, they turned into a paradise. We were in Shangri La. It was wide, open and beautiful. Butterflies surrounded us and cute little monkeys and birds danced. Everything was lush and green. There were thousands upon thousands of blooming flowers that smelled like heaven. As we walked, music began to play and he sang along with the song, softly in my ear. It was Otis Redding’s Don’t Mess With Cupid, which totally didn’t go with the lush surrounding, but sort of did. He’d told me it was his favorite song. Of course, I’d never heard the song, but I smiled at him and opened up my arms and twirled around, happy to be alive and happy to be with him. It was one of the best afternoons of my life, maybe the best. “Don’t ever forget about paradise,” he said, then slipped something into my hand and closed my fingers over it. “Now go. Leave me here.” And we left him standing there. As we walked away, I opened my hand to see the diamond ring he’d given me years ago. That ring meant so much but, at the same time, symbolized everything that we’d lost, that we’d screwed up. I held it tight, then closed my eyes and I could see the future. I imagined everything that was going to happen. I imagined everything was going to be alright. I knew I wouldn’t know what became of Knute. All I know is that after that night, we would all live happily ever after. What we got from him would help us to lift the curse on Glenda and she would become a normal child. Well, as normal as a witch could be. There would be no more hiding. As soon as she was well enough, I would send her to preschool, then onto “big” school, which she was very curious about. Of course, I would have to warn her not to change any teacher’s hair color. Delia and I would raise her and she would grow up strong and beautiful. She would be chased after by all the local boys who 266
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would adore her blond hair and blue eyes. But, because she was her mother’s girl, she wound listen to me and wait for that special someone and believe that when he showed up, she would know. Just like I had. As for me, I would settle into being a healer. Whenever I was called, I would go. I would never ignore my calling. I knew I wouldn’t love much after that. But then again, I’d loved enough for a lifetime. I had my memories of my two men, my two male witches who enticed me, who loved me and who still haunted me. They would be with me forever, and that was enough for me. I sighed and looked back, hoping to see Knute one last time. But he wasn’t there anymore. He was gone. Glenda squeezed my hand and I smiled down at her, then stared up at the sky. It was getting light, dawn was breaking. Just as it broke, I saw him, up in the sky. He was flying. He was flying above us. “Look, Mommy!” Glenda squealed. All of a sudden, the sky turned into this beautiful blue color and Knute turned into this beautiful white puffy cloud. And he started moving fast. Without thinking, I let go of Glenda’s hand and ran after that cloud, ran after Knute. I ran up over the hill and tried my best to stop him. I yelled, “I love you! I always did! I always will! I love you!” And I think he heard me.
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