Dangerous Deceptions (mm)

Dangerous Deceptions Book Three: Men of Danger By Blake Devereaux

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Dedication I'd like to dedicate this book to the most important person in my life, now and always, my daughter. You challenge me daily to be a better man, a more compassionate friend, and a more patient father. In all the world I can't imagine a finer example of humanity than I find in you. When I leave this earth, I will have left it a little better place because you are in it.

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Dangerous Deceptions by Blake Deveraux Red Rose™ Publishing Publishing with a touch of Class! ™ The symbol of the Red Rose and Red Rose is a trademark of Red Rose™ Publishing Red Rose™ Publishing Copyright© 2010 Blake Deveraux ISBN: 978-1-60435-697-7 Cover Artist: Ash Editor: T.D. McKinney Line Editor: Pam All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews. Due to copyright laws you cannot trade, sell or give any ebooks away. This is a work of fiction. All references to real places, people, or events are coincidental, and if not coincidental, are used fictitiously. All trademarks, service marks, registered trademarks, and registered service marks are the property of their respective owners and are used herein for identification purposes only. Red Rose™ Publishing www.redrosepublishing.com Forestport, NY 13338 Thank you for purchasing a book from Red Rose™ Publishing where publishing comes with a touch of Class!

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Dangerous Deceptions By Blake Devereaux

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Chapter One

A loud beep and a pre-recorded message pierced the silence as Charles walked into Joe's office. He'd insisted they come by to check the machine and pick up a few files before heading home from the airport. He could hear Joe walking toward the front of the empty reception area as Charles paced awkwardly inside the small but handsome office. Charles stood quietly staring at the row of framed documents arranged painstakingly around Joe's ornately decorated office. Charles whistled under his breath as he took in the largest frame. “Doctor of Psychiatric Medicine,” he whispered as he looked at the document. Under the inscription, the name Joseph Antonio Demitri III, curved in old English script. The scent of aged wood and volumes of books made him sigh deeply as he traced his finger carefully over the frame. His mind raced as he thought about the whirlwind of activity of the last few weeks. It had only been a few months since his father struck the final blow in what had always been a contentious relationship. The physical wounds had healed, but the emotional scars ran deep. His father couldn't accept that his son was gay. Maybe he thought he'd beat the gay out of him, whatever the motivation, it most

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certainly made an impression. Charles felt a chill as he ran his fingers across his arms. The slightly raised skin of a nearly invisible scar on his arm reminded him of the defensive wounds he'd suffered at his father's hand. A sharp stinging sensation seemed to permeate his body as he felt the phantom pain of an extension cord against his face and arm. He winced as his mind replayed the horror of that terrible night. Charles felt himself sinking slowly toward the ground as he rubbed his arms, trying to quell the phantom agony his mind kept replaying. Unsure whether the emotional pain or the physical pain was more intense, Charles shook back a wave of emotion and began humming a song his mother used to sing to him when he was a child. He missed his mother badly. Maybe it was his fault she'd left. He couldn't help but feel that she must have realized that he was gay, too. A mother knows, Charles thought. Why did he have to be gay anyhow? Was he really gay, or was it just an excuse? The questions seemed to be more overwhelming the more he considered them. He rocked back and forth studying the room around him absently. “Why would a doctor want to be with a fuck up like me?” Charles wondered out loud. “Possibly, because you need to know you're not a fuck up, Charles.” Joe

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leaned down to kiss the young man on the forehead. “When did you get back?” Charles attempted to mask his shock at his newfound lover's abrupt entry. “A better question is, where have you been? You were miles away, baby. Where were you?” “Just thinking, that's all.” Charles stood and turned away from Joe, brushing his long blond hair toward his face to mask his reddened eyes. “I'm not an idiot, Charles. You don't need to lie to me.” “Please don't try to analyze me, please. I'm not an idiot either.” Charles argued defiantly. Joe walked around the carved desk he'd been tidying and scooped the young man forcefully in his arms. “I'm not analyzing you, Charles. I want to prove that your problems are my problems, that's all.” Charles drew in his breath as he felt Joe's firm grasp on his back. He felt the warmth of Joe‟s body and melted involuntarily in response. He closed his eyes as he felt the moisture of his lover‟s mouth cautiously brush his lips. He felt himself open his mouth to allow Joe‟s breath to fill his nostrils. Almost involuntarily, he began to reach for his lover's zipper, fumbling with it clumsily. “Baby, stop,” Joe said as Charles began to work his way down toward his lover's crotch. He felt his weight being lifted again to eye level.

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“I thought....” Charles stammered. “I know what you thought, but baby, that's not the only reason I want to be with you. I love kissing you, I love holding you, and I love spending time with you.” The word 'love' made Charles shiver a bit as he chewed nervously on his lip. “I just want to keep you satisfied, sir.” “Shit! Stop that sir shit. I know Brandon uses that stuff with Daniel. But that's between them. Frankly Charles, they have their own problems. You are my lover, not my slave, my boy, or whatever you want to call it. Second, Charles, I am thirty-two years old; you're twenty-two. I know that's a pretty big difference but I'm not that old. I'm just now getting my practice going. I got an early start since I graduated from high school at 16, and started medical school at 19. So how about not making a 'sir' out of me quite yet?” Joe peered into Charles eyes. “So you don‟t like it when I do that for you?” “Of course, I do. I love making love to you any way I can. But right now, I want to deal with what you're worried about. We'll take care of that later.” Joe smiled broadly as he kissed Charles again, this time more passionately. His tongue probed Charles mouth with sexy intent. A feeling of deep satisfaction filled the young man as he felt his lover's mouth sensually caressing his. He closed his eyes as Joe began kissing Charles' neck. “You're going to have a problem here in short order if you aren't in the

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mood.” Charles slid his lover's hand down to his crotch to allow Joe to recognize the growing erection threatening the gauze pants he'd worn on the plane. “So, I do....I'll help you out with that at home.” Joe grinned as he picked up his briefcase, preparing to leave. “We need to talk about that, too. I really want to stay at my place tonight.” Charles turned pensive. He saw the worried lines already evident on his Joe's forehead grow deeper, and his expression grow more anxious. “I don't mean, I don't want to come back to your place for.... well fun....” Charles nervously replied. “Why won't you move in with me?” Joe pressed. “I'm not ready for that. I'm not even sure if I'm gay, Joe.” Charles answered honestly. “Not to oversimplify, but do you or don't you enjoy having sex with me?” Joe asked. “Of course. I love it, but I don't really know who I am alone, much less being a 'couple'. I know that's stupid. I can't give you an educated answer like I know you need. I'm not as smart or as educated as you....” “Charles you are very smart. Brandon wouldn't hire someone that he didn‟t know would be an asset. He isn‟t the type to throw money away. He hired you as his assistant because he knew you'd make him money. He knew you were smart. I

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happen to know you were valedictorian in your class in college. I know you could do anything you set your mind to.” He set the briefcase back down. “Your plans just got cut short by a fucking nut job for a father. Second, you make a very valid point. Frankly as a psychiatrist, I should know better than to push you to move faster than you are ready. You won't make me a partner till you know who you are as a man. I'm very proud of you. Whenever you are ready, I would be honored to have you move in with me. Till then, why don't we go back to your place?” “Really?” Charles could barely believe what he heard. “Really.” Charles jumped up playfully into his lover's arms, wrapping his legs around his waist. The force of the unexpected move nearly toppled both men. Charles kissed Joe full on the lips. Joe laughed heartily. “I think that's a yes then, huh?” “I'm going to make you glad you did!” Charles smiled in happiness, as he jumped out of his lover's arms, and leapt out of the office toward the front door. “I'm counting on it.” Joe smiled as he pulled the heavy wooden door closed behind them.

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Chapter Two

Joe pulled his Jeep Cherokee into his friends‟ driveway. Brandon and Daniel were still in Jamaica, and would be for another two weeks. Charles called home the tidy bungalow at the rear of the house in front of the pool. He had been rattling on about how he needed to make sure the main house was locked up because Brandon and Daniel had trusted him to check in on the house while they were gone. Joe leaned over and interrupted the chattering young man with a playful peck on the mouth. “I'm sure everything is fine, but check it out, then meet me out by the pool.” Joe shut the door of the jeep, keeping Charles in his line of sight. His cock rose as he thought about the handsome man now unlocking the impressive doors on the front of the large house. Charles had a lean and muscular body that he'd earned with years of hard physical labor. He'd worked his way through college moving furniture with his father's moving company. He loved swimming, running, and playing soccer. His long blond hair seemed to be in stark contrast to the angular face he possessed. He was extremely handsome, but by no means effeminate. Joe was in awe of his

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beautiful features. Moving around the back of the house Joe opened the black iron gate leading to the Grecian style pool. A wicked smile escaped his lips as he looked at the statue in the midst of the large swimming pool. In a move foreign to him, Joe abandoned his usual penchant for decorum and quickly disrobed. He laughed to himself as he stood nude by the pool. “Brandon would be so proud”. He grinned devilishly as he considered his friend's regular practice of skinny dipping in this very pool. Joe stood six feet six inches, with a stature that usually struck people as imposing. A lean muscular man, his dark hair and an olive complexion reflected his father's Italian heritage. His mother's German roots were probably responsible for his deep sapphire blue eyes. He jumped naked into the swimming pool. The cool rush of water over his tired form made his body react. He swam slowly from the deep waters toward the wading area at the rear of the house. He emerged from the cool water with a splash. “Wow!” Was the shocked response from the handsome man standing at the shallow end of the swimming pool. “Wow, yourself! Now, get your pants off, and get in the pool before I drag your ass in here, clothes and all!” Joe splashed the young man playfully, knowing

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Charles knew full well Joe would never force him to do anything he wasn't comfortable with. A wide grin spread as Joe watched the lithe man disrobe carefully and deliberately. He's doing this just to get a rise out of me, and I must admit, it’s working. He looked down into the clear shimmering water to see his cock now fully erect, pointing at the object of his lust. Charles stood nude, awkwardly fidgeting at the edge of the pool. How could this handsome man not know how incredible he is? Joe watched the blond man nervously shuffle at the water's edge. “Jump in, damn it!” Joe shouted, with a laughing tone. With a flourish worthy of an Olympic swimmer, the handsome man dove, head first, into the water. He swam with such ease that Joe shook his head as the nude form under the water navigated the length of the pool in an effortless, single movement. “Now that wasn't exactly what I had in mind.” Joe pouted, as he stood alone in the shallow end of the pool. Charles grinned as he bobbed effortlessly around the large statue of “David” at the far end of the pool. “Really?” With a splash Charles dove under the water and came up directly in front of Joe‟s body. He made a quick movement above the water as his face brushed lightly against Joe's painfully erect cock. Charles stood upright, pressing

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his body against Joe's. His hands ran the length of Joe‟s chest and come to rest around his waist. “I'm not sure how much more of your body I can take, without making a mess in Brandon and Daniel's pool,” Joe confessed. He was a little embarrassed at the evidence of his obvious lust for the handsome young man. It wasn't like him to be so helplessly attracted to a man so soon. When it came to Charles though, Joe was defenseless. “I was thinking the same thing,” Charles whispered. Joe moaned a bit as Charles kissed his neck slowly, allowing his hands to run along the fine, black, curly hair that covered the upper part of his chest. His stomach remained relatively smooth, with a fine line of hair running the length of his abs. Charles referred to it as his “happy trail.” The thought of the euphemism made him smile broadly. Charles gasped as Joe pulled him tightly into him. Joe felt his cock pressing hard against his lover's thigh. Charles' cock began to harden as Joe pressed against the helpless man's body before him. He knew he should back off, but Charles' body begged for his attention. His cock wanted this man. The two men had really only had limited sexual interaction, primarily because Joe respected his lover's need to come to grips with his sexuality, as well as the reality of his family's rejection of his obvious need to be with a man.

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“We should go in Charles,” Joe whispered, abruptly moving away from his lover. He so badly wanted to fuck Charles, right here and now that he felt his cock would explode if he didn't end the torture now. However, he simply wouldn't pressure the young man to give him more than he was ready to give. Suddenly the guilt of his own game of don’t ask don’t tell began to eat at his consciousness. How could he ask this young man to be completely honest with him, to trust him, if he didn‟t reciprocate? Charles was at least honest with him, and the world. In reality there were worse secrets that a man can keep than his sexuality. “Fuck me, please.” Charles begged. His eyes were pleading as he grabbed onto Joe‟s waist. He forcefully pulled the doctor back toward him. The force of the move shocked Joe back into the moment, the web of lies momentarily swept away by lust. A fair amount larger than this young man, Charles‟ strength was almost frightening. He nearly crushed Joe with the move. “Charles.” Joe gasped as he pulled away from the handsome man. Resolutely the doctor turned, and sadly walked up the stairs to exit the pool. “You can hurt me, if that's what you want. Just please, I want to feel what Brandon feels when Daniel fucks him. I know you don't love me, but I think you like me, and I want to know what it feels like with someone who likes me. Not when I'm being used like a toilet.” Charles choked as he rattled out the pleading response. He stood motionless, begging for attention, even as Joe moved farther

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away. How could he misuse the trust this man had for him? He simply wasn‟t ready to share that much of his life. There was too much at stake, too many lives to be considered. The comment from his lover hurt him deeply. The reality of it was that he was hurting his lover, by lying to him. Joe knew he hadn‟t directly lied, but he‟d certainly not told him the whole truth about his life. Brandon had warned the doctor not to allow this relationship to get too far, without dealing with the “elephant in the room.” Today simply wasn‟t the day for revelations. Charles wasn‟t ready, and he most certainly wasn‟t ready for that kind of honesty, not yet. “I don't want to hurt you. That's the point, Charles. I do like you, maybe more than I would like to admit. You've been hurt, both physically and sexually. I want you to experience sex when you are ready for it, not because you think you owe it to me.” “I am ready, I swear. Brandon says that it's not supposed to make me feel like shit. He says that it's the most incredible thing in the world giving yourself to someone you lo....” Charles allowed his words to trail off. “I mean like.” “It's okay to use the word, baby. I'm afraid I'm falling in love with you, too. There‟s too much at stake for me to make any stupid moves.” Joe approached Charles, taking him into his arms.. He kissed Charles‟ full red lips, carefully and

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deliberately. The softness of the young man's mouth made Joe melt as he carefully pulled his hard muscular body to him. The handsome young man's body was warm in Joe's grasp. The stark contrast of the moments leading up to the kiss were glaring. Only moments ago Joe had felt powerless in the grasp of this much younger, smaller man who seemingly had the strength of two men. Joe thought momentarily of the fear that gripped the man now as helpless as a kitten in his grasp. “Baby, I want to make love to you in every way possible. But I want you to be ready, that's all. I care too much about you to ruin this for you.” “I am ready. I think I love you and I want my first 'real' time to be with you.” Charles whispered Joe led the handsome man by the hand toward the dimly lit pool house. “Let's go inside.” The two men kissed gently as they walked toward a new beginning.

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Chapter Three

Joe lay quietly in bed waiting on his lover to enter the bedroom. He'd heard the shower turn off a few minutes ago, He could hear Charles rattling bottles and spraying cologne in the bathroom. He looked at his own disheveled appearance, still nude, hair a mess from the swimming pool and laughed silently at the young man's excitement. Candles lit the room with a soft and almost angelic glow as the bathroom door opened and the light went out. The form of a tall lean man appeared. He stood tanned, smooth, and wearing only a short silk robe draped over his shoulders, exposing his amazing body in full glory. A waft of the woodsy cologne caused Joe to breathe deeply as the young man walked nervously toward the bed. “You look amazing,” Joe said truthfully. “Thank you. You, always look amazing. I think you were born an Italian god.” Charles smiled “Please. If I had half the looks you have when I was in my twenties, well, I'd probably still be trying to recover because I wouldn't have run out of men to bed. Instead, I spent most of my twenties working, trying to make it out of med school.

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I rarely even dated. I‟ve faced it; I'm a nerd.” Joe laughed in a self-deprecating way. “Well, you're an incredibly handsome nerd.” Charles prodded. Joe pulled his lover down onto the bed beside him and parted the robe. He pushed the young man backward and straddled his lean muscular body. He began to carefully work his tongue over the smooth, tanned chest. Joe loved the sight of the chiseled body before him. He felt his penis jump in reaction to the taste of his handsome lover‟s flesh. He worked his way skillfully over the small dark nipples that crowned one of the best defined chests Joe had seen. He paused briefly, angered by the scars left by Charles' father's rage. He shook off the emotion of the moment, slowly working his way down toward Charles' washboard abs. “Mmmmmm.....” He moaned as he felt his chest brush against Charles' cock. Joe shuddered as he breathed in the scent of the impressive cock before him. Charles' cock was beautiful, nearly flawless. The head was perfectly proportionate. The shaft was long, tanned, and frankly, just amazing. His cock was a bit slimmer than Joe's, but there was no comparison in sheer beauty where Joe was concerned. His thoughts concerning his own cock made Joe pause as he considered that his rather sizable erection might be more than an inexperienced young man might be able to enjoy. Suddenly a wicked, brilliant, thought crossed his mind. He'd always enjoyed a little anal play himself and had purchased some „toys‟ on their

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trip to Jamaica. He reached down beside the bed and dug in the bag he'd laid beside the bed. “What are you looking for?” Charles asked. “A little helper.” Joe smiled as he withdrew a large anal plug from his bag. “I don't want a fake cock, Joe, I want your cock.” Charles frowned looking at the penile shaped, latex object. “It's to help you enjoy things, just trust me, baby.” Joe smiled as he applied a liberal glob of lubricant to both the plug and the tight pink object of his lust. He gently inserted his fingers slowly into his lover's sublime ass. Charles moaned loudly as Joe expertly used his fingers to probe his lover's body. As he felt his body relax Joe inserted two more fingers into his quivering hole. A loud gasp caused Joe to pull back momentarily. “Fuck no! Don't stop!” Charles begged, moaning louder. Charles pushed down onto Joe's fingers impaling himself deeper, causing all three fingers to disappear. Joe leaned up and kissed Charles deeply as he continued to work his fingers inside of the willing body. Slowly, he felt Charles' tight hole relent to his advances. As he kissed his lover Joe slowly replaced his fingers with the large anal plug. “Try to relax and you'll enjoy this.” Joe smiled. He slipped the plug in slowly

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allowing Charles to guide it in with his movements. Joe finally gave a quick push to force the large bulbed end to enter his ass. “Ohhhh, God!” Charles moaned. “Are you okay?” Joe asked, concerned. Charles grabbed Joe and kissed him deeply, plunging his tongue deep inside his mouth. Joe sighed. “I'll take it that's a yes.” “Ohhhhh, Fuck!” The handsome man moaned again as he brushed the long tangled masses of blond hair from his eyes. Joe kissed him again, this time he lay against Charles body, his weight pressing him against the bed, the large plug dove deeper inside his lover's now over-filled ass. Again Charles moaned involuntarily. “I want you now! Please!” Charles pleaded. Joe's cock, now aching with the raging hard-on Charles had inspired, pressed hard against his lover's thigh. Charles pushed Joe backward onto the bed and straddled him. The beautiful man, his long golden hair falling in loose waves around his angular face, smiled suggestively at him in the candlelit shadows. Charles groan audibly as Joe saw him forcibly remove the plug. “I want your cock, and I'm not going to take no for an answer!” In a move that made Joe's body shake with pleasure, Charles straddled his

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cock and pushed its entire length inside his body. “Christ!” Charles shouted abruptly. “Stop, just wait baby. Just let your body adjust.” Charles threw his head back, revealing his face, now with a mixed expression of intense pleasure and pain. Within moments the remnants of his painful expression melted from his lover's face. He now had a self-satisfied grin. “Lean into me.” Joe grinned. Slowly Charles leaned against his chest. Joe‟s expression melted to one of ecstasy as the young man began to rock back and forth against his cock. The movements of his body were deliberate, short thrusts. It was a feeling that Joe hadn‟t ever experienced. He generally had been with men who preferred a hard fucking. He always just assumed it was his very 'Italian' appearance. He jokingly called it the 'Rambo syndrome.' However, the feeling of his lover's body was so intense it caused him to begin to feel the buildup of an orgasm he'd hoped to delay. “God baby, that's going to make me cum too soon.” Joe warned. “I want your cum inside me now. It can't be too soon. I've waited for months.” Charles grinned wickedly. Joe felt his balls contract and his stomach begin to harden as he felt the inevitable contractions of a massive orgasm. Before he could stop himself he forcefully thrust his cock to the hilt inside of his lover's hole. He felt his cock

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pump his hot semen deep inside Charles' inviting ass. Charles feverishly pumped his own cock. Joe smiled broadly as his lover shot a warm sticky stream of cum leading all the way from the tip of his cock to Joe's lips. “God, I shouldn't have done that,” Charles apologized. Joe took his fingers, scooped up the remnants of his lover's load and put it suggestively in his mouth. He savored the salty flavor of the cum. The fact that he'd finally realized the fantasy he'd dreamed of for months, and that Charles had obviously enjoyed it as much as he had, was enough to make him sigh with deep satisfaction. “Don't be. I won't waste a drop. Finger lickin' good!” Joe reassured his lover. Charles fell limp against Joe's chest. “Do I have to let you go?” “Never.” Joe smiled. Joe laid, his cock still deep in his lover's body, still aroused from the warmth of his body, and the lust of his scent. He felt Charles begin to drift sleepily into the night, and sighed. “Never.”

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Chapter Four

Charles lay quietly as he watched Joe sleep. When he finally couldn't help himself any longer, he rose and quietly walked to the kitchen to make some calls. He needed to check in on the office. Brandon trusted him to make sure nothing went unchecked while he was in Jamaica with Daniel. Charles felt a great sense of pride in the confidence Brandon had placed in him. He wanted to make sure he didn't disappoint his friend and employer. Doubts about his competence crept into his thoughts as he dialed the phone. “Bell, Winslow and Associates.” A bright professional voice greeted him. “Hi, it‟s Charles. Is there anything I should know?” He tried to sound professional hoping the thoughts of incompetence hadn‟t crept into his voice. He knew the receptionist was a stickler for professionalism in the office. Brandon relied heavily on her for the comings and goings at the design firm where he was now a partner. “I thought you were on vacation till Monday.” The curt reply came in a feminine voice from the other end of the phone. “Julia darling, when have I ever been on vacation? Now is there anything important that I need to know?”

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“If there were, I would have called you. Now go, enjoy the time off.” “Yes, mother.” Charles joked. He liked the attractive woman at the design firm. Brandon had personally picked her after a long line of potential candidates. When asked what set her apart, Brandon explained. “She's the only one that was honest about the drapes in the conference room.” Brandon had purposefully replaced the ornate draperies that adorned the conference room with an unsightly plaid drape that clashed horribly with the decor. He'd gone through the entire interview process and an endless barrage of questions. Almost as an afterthought, Brandon would ask one final question as the candidate was leaving the room, “What do you think of the new draperies by the way?” The responses ranged from a pleasant, “very nice,” to the more noncommittal, “I don't have a very good eye for those sort of things.” Julia however remarked curtly, “I sincerely hope that you aren't serious with that question because my color blind husband could tell you those horrid things need to be in the trash.” Brandon smiled heartily, and hired her on the spot. Charles clicked the cell phone closed and smiled as he sipped a day-old cup of warmed coffee.

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“The bed isn't nearly as comfortable without you in it.” Charles turned to see his handsome lover naked and standing in the doorway of his tiny kitchen. “Mmmmm, I‟m getting hungry now.” He licked his lips suggestively. “Hmmm. Same here, but unfortunately I have to go to the center this morning,” Brandon had chosen Joe as the Counseling Director at the organization he'd founded with his sizable inheritance. A New Beginning was a haven for young men who found themselves on the outside for whatever reason, but primarily helped young, gay men whose families had discarded them. Joe frowned. “I‟m on call, and we have a bit of a crisis.” “Can I help?” “If you'd like to come, you're welcome to. Hopefully I'll be able to take care of things and get the situation settled down.” “Actually, I was thinking of getting a haircut, if you don't mind. I'll meet you for lunch later, okay?” Joe walked over and kissed him. His lips were warm and invited Charles to linger. The doctor‟s breath was hot, and he could practically taste the lust in the man‟s kiss. Finally Joe broke the extended kiss, not allowing himself to be sidetracked. “Baby, after last night you can have whatever you want out of me.

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Lunch, is a given.” “Did you really enjoy it or are you just trying to make me feel good 'cause it was our first 'real' time?” “Believe me, I don't think I've ever had sex I enjoyed like that with anyone. Hell, I'm not sure my heart could take it if it got much better than that.” Charles grinned provocatively. “I've still got a trick or two up my sleeve to test your heart out.” “Give it your worst, big man.” Charles watched Joe leave to shower and get dressed. The sight of the muscular doctor made his mouth water. God how he'd wanted to fall to his knees and devour that fantastic cock. He'd learned to love the taste of his lover. He found himself massaging his cock through the silk robe, wishing badly he'd given in to his first impulse. Several minutes past as Charles stood blankly staring and massaging his cock, regretting his lack of initiative earlier. Finally the thought of the doctor's thick, throbbing cock filling his body the night before drove him over the top and he came violently inside the silk robe, allowing the cum to run down his leg. Charles fell backward against the cabinet, his body limp from the orgasm. Joe's voice shocked Charles back to reality. “Shit, I wish I didn't have to leave. I would have liked to have enjoyed that breakfast treat this morning.”

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“Oh God, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that, but it was just, you were so hot, and fuck! I'm sorry.” “Charles, you don't owe me an apology. I owe you one. You needed me this morning, and I'm ducking out on you.” “I know you have to work.” “It's a thirteen-year-old boy that we took in last night. His father burned his penis with cigarettes because he caught him kissing another boy. He tried to kill himself last night after his father threw him out, naked and beaten.” “Fuck, I'm such a Goddamn selfish fuck!” Charles began to weep for the injured boy. “Stop it! You are the kindest soul I've ever met. You let me go, even though you wanted me to stay. That's the definition of selfless. I do have to leave now, though.” Charles ran back toward the bedroom. “Hang on!” He ran back with a bag from Abercrombie and Fitch. “I bought these for your nephew, but I think that kid needs 'em more. I'll get something else for Ted. Make sure he knows he looks good in them. He probably thinks, well, you know.” Joe took the bag and swallowed hard, choking back emotion. “I'll make sure to let him know. Actually I'd like it if you came by later and told him yourself. If a hot young guy like you told him he's cute, it‟ll mean more.”

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“Yeah, I can do that. If you think he'll come bring him to Vive, I'll get Quinton to give him a cool hairstyle.” “Great idea, baby, I‟ll call you and let you know.”

Charles stared in silence at the door of the salon door emblazoned with the logo 'Vive!” He couldn't help but think about how callused he'd been, thinking only of his satisfaction this morning while a young man struggled with life and death. He was more than aware how a father that refused to accept his son's homosexuality could cause a young man to break. “Are you going to come in, or just stare at the door?” Quinton leaned around the door. “Just a lot on my mind.” Charles followed the hairdresser inside and filled Quinton in on the details of the young man, as he walked toward the hairdresser‟s station. “I'll make him The Bomb!” Quint smiled as he mussed Charles long blond locks. “Of course, nobody can touch this good-looking hunk of man in front of me.” Charles rolled his eyes, “Please.” “I know you don't expect me to cut off this magnificent mane of hair.” “Just a trim” “I thought not.” Quinton began snipping away at the ends of Charles

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longhair. “Oh, to have this mess up on my head.... Sometimes I just hate you for being so damn cute.” “Bitch.” Charles sighed happily as Quinton's efforts successfully lifted his mood. “You know it.” Quinton quipped. After a long pause the hairdresser spun Charles around to the mirror to reveal his handiwork. “Perfect, as always.” A familiar voice announced Joe‟s presence. “Henry, this is Charles, my partner, and a friend of mine, Quinton.” “Nice to meet you, sir,” the timid young man accompanying Joe offered. Charles stood to greet him. “Henry, I'm nobody's sir. I'm Charles.” “Aren't you just a little handsome hunk of heaven, cutie?” Quinton walked over and mussed the frightened teen's hair. Henry's face burned crimson. “It's the clothes.” He tugged at the new designer clothing Charles had sent. “Baby, when I was your age, if I had worn those exact clothes, I'd have still been a sad, sad looking mess. You are going to break a ton of hearts with a face like that. You just need the proper haircut to show it off.” “You mean it?” The young teen beamed.

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“Honey, you are about to get your wig done by the best fucking hairdresser in Atlanta.” “Quint!” Charles admonished. “Don't be vulgar.” “Sorry, baby, you made me forget my manners. See what a good-looking man can do to us poor ordinary souls? I've seen pictures of this one here when he was your age, and you are every bit as cute as he was. Now look what I've done for him.” “Thank you, sir.” Henry beamed as he sat timidly in the chair. Joe grinned broadly at Charles giving Quinton an appreciative nod. Charles hugged Quinton and whispered “You're the best.” He slipped a handful of money into Quinton's hand. “Keep your fucking money. Baby, this one's on me.” Joe and Charles chatted happily as they watched Quinton working on the young man. “You know, that guy is something special.” Charles observed. “He's not the only one.” A sudden buzzing from Joe's pocket announced an unwelcome interruption. “Sorry, Charles, I need to take this” Joe rose and walked to the door. A concerned look caused Charles to worry. Charles rose quietly and walked toward the door. Joe stood with his back

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turned toward the shop. Charles knew he was out of Joe's sight. He listened as he heard Joe talking angrily on the phone. “Look, Andy, it's over. It's for the best please just accept that. You need something more than I can give. You need someone who you can share your life with.” Charles knew he shouldn't be listening to the conversation, but he couldn't stop. “There is someone else. I simply can't... But...” Joe stammered. “You know I'll always love you Andy.” Charles felt his heart drop. Tears welled in his eyes. He knew there was a part of Charles that always seemed to be distant. Unsure what to do Charles returned to Quinton “Tell Joe I had to leave.” Charles sobbed quietly. “Baby, what the hell?” Quint stopped him from running. “I've got to go.” Charles shrugged Quint's attempt to hug him. “Don't leave. I want to talk to you.” Quint argued. Charles ran quickly toward the door and hastily drove to the pool house he called home.

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Chapter Five

Charles walked toward the door of his home while making a preemptive phone call. “Don't tell Joe what happened. I don't want him to know.” He admonished Quinton. “Too late, baby. I told him you were upset.” “Fuck!” Charles angrily hung up the phone. Upon returning home Charles found the door to the pool house open. “Shit, I thought I shut that thing. Daniel would kill me.” Charles thought out loud. “I hope you don't mind.” Charles turned around stunned at the presence of a tall young man in the room. “Who the fuck are you, and what are you doing in my house?” “Please don't call the police. I wanted to talk to you, that's all.” Charles began dialing his cellular phone. “I know you love Joe.” Charles paused dialing the numbers on the cell phone.

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“Who are you? Are you the one?” Charles studied the young man. He was young, probably twenty-two or three he guessed. He was slender, with a slight build but not fragile. There was something unsettling about him. His hair was long, like Charles‟, but straight. The varying shades of blond and brown that came from under the baseball cap made him breathtaking. He was not a 'pretty' man, but he was the kind of handsome that didn‟t fade. This was Andy, Joe‟s ex. Looking at the handsome man, Charles couldn't help but wonder if he hadn‟t become a surrogate for Joe's love, a convenient replacement. This man was truly what Joe wanted. Even the striking similarities in their appearance made him shudder. “Andy?” “Yes, Andy.” The young man walked toward Charles. “Why the fuck would you come here? To gloat? To make me feel more like shit? Well too late, you win! He loves you. Now get the fuck out of my house before I kill you.” “He doesn't want me. He wants you. He said so.” Charles frowned angrily. “I'm not going to say it again.” “I want you to fuck me.” Andy said flatly. “Joe doesn't want me. I want to

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know what he has in you. You've taken my lover. It's the least you could do.” “You fucking asshole. I didn't take anybody. Joe wasn't seeing you when we met.” “He would have come back. He needed me, till he found you.” Charles grew angry at the accusation. He pushed the slender young man backward. “Yeah that's more like it.” “Don't fuck with me, man. I could break you in half.” Charles was much stronger than Andy. He knew it wasn't a fair pairing in a fight. “Do it. If you won't fuck me then you'll have to kill me.” Andy ran headlong into Charles pushing him backward into the couch. The two men fought, anger rising. Charles wanted to annihilate the other man. They tugged at each other, legs tangling, bodies impacting. He found himself face to face with his opponent; long hair fell forward into his face. Then he found himself on the ground, the young man astride him. Andy leaned in and kissed him deeply. Try as he might he couldn't stop the kiss. There was something deeply sexual about Andy‟s presence. Charles had sensed it from the moment he laid eyes on him. He knew he was in serious trouble. It was as though they were kindred spirits. He seemed to feel the pain emanating from Andy's very being. He knew

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how deeply he loved Joe. He began to weep even as he relented to the young man‟s advances. “If you don't want it, I'll stop.” Andy offered. “I'm sorry, I didn't know.” “Please make love to me. I need you to make me feel like you do with Joe. I'm so alone.” Charles knew the pain and loneliness that Andy spoke of; it was as though he were baring his own soul. He felt alone even when he was with Joe. He never truly believed he deserved the kindness his lover had shown him. Charles trembled at the soft touch of the tender young man. His body reacted even as his mind screamed in protest. God, how he hated himself right now. Andy smiled provocatively as Charles melted at his touch. His body and his soul reacted to the young man in a way he'd never realized before. He loved Joe, he respected him, but with this young man, he was connected both sexually and mentally on a level that frightened him. He didn't even know this man, yet Andy seemed to know what his body needed before he did. Andy spoke the perfect words before Charles thought of them. “You are a spectacular man, Charles. I can see why Joe would prefer you.” Charles felt his heart sink. He‟d tried to forget Joe was part of this bizarre meeting. He felt a stabbing pain of horror. Joe would never forgive him. He began

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rapidly retreating from the other young man. “Is something wrong?” “Everything.” “Joe would want you to be happy.” “He wouldn't want me to fuck you. That's a given.” “I wouldn't be so sure.” “I would!” Charles retreated to a posture of angered resolution. Andy leaned forward and crept into Charles' lap. “Joe loves you, I know that. He wants what's best for you. How do you know what that is if you've never tried out a new experience or two? I'm not suggesting leaving Joe. I‟m simply saying, what‟s the harm in having some fun?” With that Andy again kissed Charles, this time hard on the lips. Andy's tongue probed his mouth deeply. Try as he might Charles couldn't stop the onslaught of hormones that the handsome man brought on. His cock sprang forward and pressed against his jeans. He felt Andy's hand grip his cock, hard. Andy was merciless as he pressed on even as Charles' mind fought the attraction at every turn. Andy stood quickly, stripping naked, and in one stealth move lifted Charles' shirt over his head and allowing his jeans to drop to the floor. Andy's slender body was flawless, his chest and abdominal muscles impeccably defined and lean. He

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had the physique of a farm hand, not an ounce of fat, and no superfluous muscle. His musculature was definitively functional, not a man who was driven by vanity. That made Charles mouth water. He loved that the man seemed to be perfect without a clue as how spectacular he was. There wasn't a sign of an imperfection on his ivory skin. He had a fine sprinkling of hair crowning his cock, and a pleasant amount of baby fine hair on his lower legs and forearms. Charles ran his fingers carefully across Andy's lean physique. His hands came to rest on his hips. Andy's cock, an impressive eight-inch member, made him drool visibly as he moved suggestively toward that amazing body. Charles' ran his hands around Andy's back and came to rest cupping his adorable ass. Charles‟ breath rested suggestively above the nest of blond hair above Andy's cock. He ran his face slowly across the length of the throbbing member. Andy gasped at the move. “Please!! I want you. Now!!” “First things first” Charles purred, his mind now drunk with testosteronedriven lust, any thoughts of fighting the attraction long since forgotten. His body felt driven by forces no human could resist. In a single move, Charles deftly engulfed his lover's cock to the hilt. “Christ!” Andy gasped and grabbed Charles behind the head. He began involuntarily fucking Charles face, even as Charles went to work

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wildly on the throbbing cock. Charles knew he shouldn't be doing this, but the other man triggered something in him he'd never experienced. It was a level of arousal, of attraction, Charles wasn't aware even existed before today. Charles rose to Andy's level and kissed him deeply. “You want my cock?” “Fuck yes!!” Charles spun Andy around and pushed him hard against the couch the two men were seated on. Andy gasped with delight. Charles leaned forward, placing all of his weight against Andy's body. He pressed his cock hard against the man's waiting hole. Charles leaned over and dug out the lubricant he'd kept hidden in the couch cushions, in case he could convince Joe to fuck him when he came over. Andy moaned loudly as Charles pressed his cock harder against the young man's ass. He grinned sexily. “You still want it?” Nervous but still hungry, Charles slid a latex condom quickly onto his pulsating erection. “Please!!” Andy groaned. Charles gasped as the young man forcibly pushed backward into his cock. Charles thrust forward impaling the young man on his cock to its hilt. He pressed in again this time lifting the young man off the ground with the force of the thrust. Andy moaned loudly with pleasure. Charles pressed hard against Andy, leaning in to fully enjoy the warmth and

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the lust of the coupling. Then, without warning, he felt warmth engulf his body and a familiar scent permeate the air. He recognized the cologne. It was Joe. He felt one of the large man's hands slide quickly across his mouth, stiffing the yelp that threatened to escape his lips. He felt Joe lean forward against both men. Andy still drunk with lust was completely unaware of the presence of the third party. Charles began to groan, unable to form word, his mouth still covered with the large man's hand. He obviously wanted to keep his presence quiet. Joe‟s whisper teased his ear. “I love you baby.” Joe took his mouth to him, kissed him carefully, allowing his tongue to probe. The lust of the moment drove Charles to the edge, the lust that led him to this most uncomfortable moment. Charles lay still, his cock now engorged to the point he feared it might explode. Joe‟s tone turned colder, more authoritative. “Don‟t leave him hanging. You started this; now finish it.” The words seemed looming, and dangerous. Joe‟s eyes were intense, almost angry. He turned and slapped Charles hard on the ass, no doubt leaving the imprint of his hand across Charles‟ backside. The intensity of the move made Charles loose himself. The feeling of the silky warm body underneath him, combined with the burning of his lover‟s slap was too much for him to bear. He

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began wildly pushing into Andy‟s eager hole. Each thrust pushed him deeper. The young man writhed wildly against the couch, moaning a long line of expletives. The intense pleasure of his cock engulfed in this impossibly attractive man's ass along with his talented lover‟s attention to his ass-- Charles couldn't take it any longer. He screamed loudly, “I'm gonna cum Joe. Christ, fuck me!!” He pumped Andy full of load after load of hot, sticky cum. Andy begin to shake violently as he released a stream of cum on the couch. Andy lay motionless under him, still oblivious to the presence of Joe. He moaned. “I came just from getting fucked, man. That never happens. By the way, I think it‟s sweet you called me Joe. Do you fuck Joe? He never let me fuck him. I wouldn't have wanted to mind you, but that was kind of wild.” “No, I'm still not fond of getting fucked all that much.” Joe moved away from the coupling. “Christ!” Andy screamed. The frightened man nearly pushed Charles to the floor as he wiggled to remove himself from the embrace. “What the fuck?” Andy squealed as he stumbled to find his clothing. “It's okay, Andy. I'd like to talk to you later, but for now, I think Charles and I should talk. Don't worry, I'm not mad.” “Who are you, and what have you done with Joe?” Disbelief twisted Andy‟s

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face. Joe smiled warmly. “Thank you for pleasing, Charles. I think he really enjoyed it. As I said, we'll discuss this--all three of us together--another time. But for now, I'd like to be alone with Charles.” Andy continued dressing as he absently backed out of the room, eyes big as he stared at Joe. “I think we may have caused Andy to blow a fuse or two.” Joe smiled as he leaned forward to kiss Charles. Standing still naked and dumbfounded Charles felt like Andy looked. “What just happened?” “I believe you just fucked. And, my love.” Joe flatly remarked. “I‟m not stupid, I know that! Why aren't you kicking my ass right now? I just fucked another guy. I'm not even sure why I did it. Slap me. Hit me. Curse at me. Do something!” Charles voice rose to a screech. “I don't want to do any of those things. I understand why it happened, baby. That's why I'm not angry with you.” No rage, no raised voice, nothing. “I'm just glad it was with someone I care about. I still care about what happens to Andy. I always will.” The calm tone of Joe‟s voice angered Charles. He shook with the violence of it. “Don‟t analyze me. I‟m not your fucking patient.”

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“I‟m not analyzing you, Charles, but I can‟t--no I won’t throw away what we have because you made a mistake.” Still reeling, Charles paused, unsure whether to be relieved or angry at his lover‟s response. Finally he asked the question that‟d been burning in his mind since he‟d found out about Andy. “What happened? Between you two I mean.” “It's a very long story, but the reader's digest version is that he's a young guy, who enjoys hard rock music and wild parties. I'm an old fart that enjoys classical and a quiet night at home.” “Don't call yourself old. You're only ten years older than me.” Charles smiled hoping to deflect attention from the obvious parallels to their relationship. “Twelve, actually, but I understand what the attraction is, Charles. Honestly, I'm not mad.” “What? If you want rid of me just say so, but don't act like you don't give a shit that I was fucking a stranger when you came in my house.” “First, Andy is not a stranger. As difficult as it is to hear, I still love him, too. Not in the same way as I love you. I can't change that though.” Joe‟s kiss carried reassurance. “Second, I would never jeopardize our relationship for Andy or anyone else. I simply think it's a good thing that you have a friend. It's a better thing if it's a friend that I happen to love.” Charles scratched his head absently as Joe reassured him of his devotion. It

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seemed surreal Joe wouldn't be angry at him. His frustration with Joe‟s reaction grew with each word. Suddenly a wave of anger passed over him. “Did you two plan this?” Charles screamed, rising to confront Joe. “Don't be ridiculous! Andy is livid. He wouldn't have gone along with this for any man's money. Frankly, I wouldn't have considered it myself. I watched the two of you together. I saw Andy drive up. I was outside clearing my mind before I talked to you.” Joe still radiated that infuriating calm. “He didn't even notice my car. Actually he wouldn't recognize my new car, but nevertheless, the two of you connected. You connect on a level that the two of us never have. I want you to have that, Charles. I want you to know what it is to have someone who understands your soul that understands your needs in a way I that I may never understand.” His face changed, settling into firm determination. “That being said, I do not plan on giving you up to Andy. I will fight for you, baby. I love you. I don't think I've ever really loved anyone the way that I love you.” “Except Andy.” Charles eyes were downcast as he considered Joe‟s reply. “Including Andy. I told you I loved, and continue to love Andy, but I never had the depth of feeling, the connection to him, that I have with you. With Andy, it was mostly physical, but there was a strong emotional tie. It simply wasn‟t enough to overcome our differences. We have some of the same issues, but the difference is that you make me want to change. You make me want to become the

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man you need. I want to learn to be the man you need. If that means allowing you share Andy, then so be it.” “Are you crazy?” Charles gaze snapped to Joe. “Maybe. But I do have one request. If you find that you love Andy more than me, and you don't want to be with me anymore, please don't toy with my heart. Tell me. Be direct.” “I don't mean to be crass, but I do not now nor will I ever love Andy. I wanted to fuck him. I‟m not sure why, but it was an intense need actually. No, I'm not at all sure why. I'm ashamed of myself, Joe. Don't you understand that? I misused your trust. Now, you're just giving me permission to fuck him whenever I want? I want you to love me. I want you to hate the fact that I was fucking another guy! I want you to have a fucking reaction.” Joe‟s eyes grew intense. His brow furrowed as he listened to Charles‟ relentless barrage. “What do you want me to do? Scream, yell, and hit you? I‟m not that guy, Charles.” “Do you want to fuck Andy again?” Charles shuffled his feet nervously. “I would never do anything that you didn't want. Period. If you want me to simply please you, that's what will happen. I will make sure that Andy understands that I'm not 'getting back together' with him.” Joe spread his hands. “Look, baby, bottom line is this, you‟ve only mostly been with men who have used

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you and/or hurt you. You deserve to have some fun. I simply think this is a safe way for you to get that out of your system. I don't want you deciding down the road that you haven't sewn your wild oats and you have to 'find yourself' after I've fallen so in love with you that I can't let you go. Actually I think that part has already happened.” Joe nervously shifted his weight. Charles thought about the prospects before him. His heart swelled with an unfamiliar feeling. Was it pride or self satisfaction? Perhaps it was love. Joe was willing to allow him to experiment with another man. A man to whom Charles was physically attracted for sure, but there was an unsettling familiarity to Andy. It was if he'd always known him. He felt as if Andy already knew his deepest secrets. Joe made Charles feel safe, loved, and wanted. Those were things Charles never thought he'd know. He wasn't willing to give them up for a momentary bit of sexual pleasure, or even for someone who could potentially be a good friend. “I don't know if I can do this.” Charles finally whispered “Then take it slow. Just know, nothing will ever change how I feel about you. This certainly hasn't. I hope you don't feel differently about me.” “Don't be ridiculous. I'm the one who had his dick in another man's ass, Joe!” “Well, I understand that, but I allowed it. I knew when Andy asked where you lived that there was a substantial chance that he'd be attracted to you. Hell, I don't know many gay men with a pulse that wouldn't be. I didn't really think the

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two of you would connect as quickly or if you'll pardon the pun, as 'deeply' as you did.” “Shit. That was not funny, Joseph Dean.” Charles had taken to calling his lover by his middle name when frustrated. “I know, but I thought you could use a laugh.” Charles caught himself grinning. “Come on you know it's just a little funny.” “Come to bed. I want to show you how funny I think you are.” Charles walked suggestively toward the bedroom. He gave his ass a quick slap leaving a cherry red mark as he slowly exited the room. “You are a naughty, naughty boy.” “Then you'll just have to punish me for all my wrong-doings now, won't you?” “It'd be my pleasure.”

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Chapter Six

Joe rose early to allow him time to get back to the house before making rounds and taking appointments. A menagerie of emotions filled his mind as he replayed the scene from the night before. A sense of confusion permeated his thoughts even as he tried desperately to focus on the matters of the business at hand. He was unsure why he hadn't reacted to seeing Charles fucking Andy differently. Frankly, it was out of character for him. His mind wanted to rant and rave, to pull the two men apart and give them both a verbal thrashing. His heart however wouldn't allow it. He wanted, no he needed, to understand what his relationship with Charles lacked that left the emotional void that Andy so perfectly fit in Charles. It was the curse of his training that he analyzed everything to death. He hated that part of himself at times. He sighed deeply, considering the two men. They were exceptional, each possessing extraordinary character and unmatched looks. As he quietly kissed Charles upon leaving, the young man had barely roused. Joe had not allowed Charles to realize it but he'd been awake most of the night

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pondering the complexity of the situation. Charles on the other hand had tossed and turned all night, not truly falling asleep until nearly four a.m. Joe smiled as he whispered, “I love you baby, get some sleep.” Charles, obviously still in a dream state replied. “I love you, big man.” Joe knew that was the case. Charles did love him. It was something he'd never been completely sure of with Andy. There was something missing in that relationship. Until last night he'd never really understood what it was. Andy needed a friend as much as a lover. Joe simply wasn't the man for that job. Honestly, he'd grown a lot from the pains of that relationship. It probably made him a better friend to Charles. Upon starting his car, he hit the remote button and plugged in his cell to the console. He played his messages as he pulled onto the busy highway. The 285 loop, or 'the Autobahn' as Joe liked to call, it was a mangled mess as always. He cursed as he saw emergency lights and vehicles on what was known to Atlanta commuters as 'spaghetti junction' “Fucking morons! Learn how to drive!” Joe whipped the jeep off the highway onto the nearest off ramp. He didn't have time to deal with all the idiots that the suburb‟s traffic had to offer today. As he played back his messages he heard a familiar voice “Joe...” There was a long pregnant pause. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I wanted to know what you two had. I wanted to feel like...I wanted to... Shit... Just forget I called.”

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The call ended abruptly, mid sentence. Joe frowned a bit. Andy always was a bit thoughtless. He wasn't sure what he'd planned to do when he met Charles, but Joe doubted he went there with the intention of getting fucked. It had never been a secret that Joe was all top. He didn't make excuses for that. He loved to fuck. It simply was his talent. Joe smiled a bit at his own self revelation. “He knows I wouldn't be with someone who was a top. He couldn't have gone there expecting to get fucked. Then why did he go there?” Joe found himself dialing the familiar number to Andy's cell phone. He kept the phone on speaker so he could safely navigate his way back to his house before going to the office. “Andy?” “Yeah.” “Would you like to have lunch?” “I'd like to understand what happened last night. I know you love him. That's pretty obvious. Why didn't you kick my ass for seducing him?” “Unless I missed something, Charles had his dick in your ass.” “I think we both know that I can be pretty persuasive if I want to be.” “Yeah, you always did know how to work me. That's for sure.” A loud chuckle filled the interior of Joe's Jeep Cherokee.

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“You don't have to be so self-satisfied.” Joe pouted. “It's the truth, and you know it. That doesn't explain why you didn't kick my ass for leading that poor, misguided boy astray. Joe, you know if I hadn't used his own dick against him, he'd have never done that.” “You sound like you're trying to make excuses for Charles.” “No, but he didn't want to do it. I forced the issue.” “I know Charles far better than you do, Andy. I know what he's capable of, and honestly, I had a sense that if the two of you ever met up there would be either a massive fight or an orgy. I wasn't ever sure which.” “I wouldn't call what happened an orgy, but it did kind of start as a fight, for a minute I thought Charles was going to kill me. Joe, he really didn't want to do it. “I know Charles' heart is in the right place. He needs a friend Andy. I hope that can be you.” “I don't know about that.” “We'll talk later.” “How about at the 'big chicken'?” “You still eat that fried shit?” Joe laughed referring to the southern fried chicken establishment that was best known for its sixty foot tall metal chicken outside the front of the building. It was a landmark in the small southern suburb Joe called home.

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“Yeah, it beats that stuck up crap you call food.” “Okay, one o'clock.”

Joe sat quietly drawing on a cigarette, a habit he'd quit many times. But the stress of his job, combined with the unpleasant weight gain that always followed, caused him to revert to his guilty pleasure. “Still trying to kill yourself I see.” Andy grimaced as he gracefully removed the cigarette from his hand and snuffed it out dramatically in the clear glass container on the center of the table. “You can't expect miracles.” Joe grinned, pointing at a chair across from him. Andy placed a tray containing several pieces of fried chicken as well as fried potatoes, slaw and some sort of mysterious gelatinous substance Joe guessed to be some sort of dessert. “Apparently you're still trying to kill yourself; you're just planning on going out with a heart attack instead of lung cancer.” “Die young, make a pretty corpse. That's my philosophy.” Andy quipped. “You always were a wordsmith.” “Oh do go on.” “Andy, about last night...” “I told you; I was sorry. Don't throw away what you have with Charles

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because I was horny. It was my fault.” “Don't get ahead of yourself.” “Okay...” Andy stopped chewing on the piece of chicken and paused to take in Joe's next comment. “Look, I know there is something special between you and Charles. I don't pretend to not get that. I also know that you would make a horrendous couple. It would be a hell of a show, but in the end you'd both be miserable.” “So why all the discussion. I'll leave you both alone, you go back to your little upscale existence, and I'll creep back to the gutter where I belong, okay?” “Don't do that. You know I don't think you belong in a gutter, Andy. That's not fair. Just because I'm interested in different things in life, doesn't mean I don't appreciate the beauty of your life.” “You never said that before.” Andy frowned. “I know, and for that, I'm sorry. I think I've grown up a lot since we were together too.” “Aren't you a little old to be 'growing up'?” Andy laughed “Yeah... but, sometimes even us old dogs can learn a trick or two.” “Have you told him about Braden? He loves you. He has a right to know about him.” Andy‟s admonition hit him hard. The guilt of his deception ate at his

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stomach. It was a subject he‟d avoided for the sake of all involved. He knew, however, that it was unavoidable. He‟d have to deal with it sooner rather than later. “You don‟t have any right to bring that up to him. Braden is my problem Andy.” His tone was dark and menacing. “I wouldn‟t ever do anything to hurt you. I just know that it hurt me that you kept it from me. I understand now why you did, but it hurt never the less.” Joe‟s tone fell audibly, his demeanor, less foreboding. “I'd really like it if you'd come and hang out with Charles and me.” “That's not fair. I can't hang out with you guys, knowing what I can't have. It's not right for you to ask me to do that.” “I'm not asking you to do that.” “Then what are you asking?” “I'm asking you to see what happens. I know you and Charles have a connection, a sexual one, and a personal one, that I will never have with either of you. The only jealousy I have is a wish I had the personal connection you share.” Joe shifted back in his chair to assess Andy's reaction. “Is Charles okay with this idea?” “I'm not sure, but I don't think you have to wonder if he's interested. He did fuck you quite heartily last night. Hell, I didn't know the guy had it in him. He's always been very submissive with me.”

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“Well, baby, I hate to tell you, but he's got a groove that I'm not sure you can touch. That man can fuck!” Andy's face flushed red as he realized he'd forgotten himself and confessed more than he should. “Hmmm...” Joe grinned. “I might have to try him out myself sometime.” “You don't mean it. The big old top man would let a mere bottom boy fuck him?” Andy questioned loudly “Keep it down, idiot!” “I can't believe it.” Andy's eyes were wide and his mouth agape. “Well, everybody likes variety sometimes, Andy. I‟m just saying if he's that good, I might give it a go.” “Only if I get to watch.” “Not on your life.” Joe slanted his eyes and glared at Andy mockingly. “Kill-joy.” Andy pouted. “I'll call you later.” Joe rose and dumped the uneaten plate of greasy chicken in the trash. “That's sinful. Throwing away that perfectly good southern fried chicken. You're grandmother would jump out of her grave and slap you senseless if she saw that.” “Be good, Andy.” “Never.” The handsome man suggestively licked his lips, smiling as Joe

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turned to leave.

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Chapter Seven

Darkness greeted the doctor as the front door of his spacious condo swung open. A shiver of loneliness swept

down his spine as he breathed in the

conditioned air that wafted toward him. He reached absently for the switch next to the door. As the light exploded throughout the contemporary setting, Joe paused, taking in the beautiful room Brandon had designed for him. It was too gorgeous really. Joe often found himself uncomfortable using the room for fear that he'd somehow disturb the serene setting Brandon so skillfully created. Unwilling, or unable to fight the intense fatigue he felt, Joe fell in a heap on the sumptuous leather sofa. Brandon would be so proud! His friend had repeatedly chastised him for failing to “use” the room. “It's just a room for Christ's sake!” Brandon would lament. “If I'd known you wouldn't use the damn thing I'd never done it.” A loud buzzing roused him from his exhausted thoughts. His cell phone was about to vibrate from the glass table in front of him. I need to answer it. I need to answer it. I need to answer it. Joe reminded himself that he was on call tonight, despite the fact that he had been working for the last 14 hours. He was still emotionally wrung out with the angst of the situation with Andy. He grew agitated at his growing jealousy toward the other man. He kept

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replaying the scene with Charles and Andy, wondering, How long before Charles decides he doesn’t need me? Joe smiled as he saw the name on the caller id. “Hello, handsome!” Joe smiled, thankful in part that it wasn't work calling, but mostly hopeful that Charles might come over and rescue him from the malaise that had him paralyzed on the sofa. “Don't kill me.” Charles voice broke in a tentative lilt. “Should I ask why?” “I invited Andy over to watch the game tonight, and I didn't ask, there‟s nothing fishy about it, I swear. I just wanted to watch the ball game, and I know you‟re on call, and I didn't think about it till Andy asked if you'd be mad, then I hated to say no, and I know...” “Jesus, Charles, you don't have to ask permission to have a friend over to watch the game for Christ's sake.” Joe furrowed his brow at the barrage of anxious ramblings from his lover. “I just know you are worried about... Well, I just knew you were tired, if you don't want him to come over I'll tell him no.” Joe sighed deeply at the obvious attempt to smooth what Charles wrongly assumed would anger him. “Baby, I know you aren't going to leave me for Andy. It's okay, I just am too tired to go anywhere tonight, baby.”

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“I wouldn't do that. That was the deal.” “I know that's what I said, but I'm okay with it if you guys release a little tension now and then, as long as we're still okay, you know...” Joe allowed his words to trail off. He wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure himself or Charles. “I made a promise. I fucked up once. I won't do it again.” Charles made kissing noises into the phone. “I love you.” Silence hung heavy in the air as he realized Charles had ended the call after his confession. He'd never said that before, at least not so effortlessly. Surely, Joe thought, he must really mean it. “Fuck me, he loves me.” He mumbled out loud. The sound of the words frightened the normally in-control doctor. “He loves me.

Charles sat absently nursing the same wine cooler he'd been holding for the last half hour. A loud knock on the door roused him. The sound of the pregame ramblings filled the background as he rose to answer the door. He smiled as he thought of the alluring friend he'd made in Andy. His mind raced as he thought of the sexual experience he'd had with him. He'd never considered fucking a guy before, but it was certainly a new and exciting experience. It had been unsettling also, since he didn't think he'd enjoy “topping” as a rule, since for him sex was more enjoyable when he could see the effect his body, his actions had on the man who enjoyed him. Seeing Joe loose his normally “in charge” demeanor, and let go

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with him was intoxicating, almost hypnotic. It was an odd, vicarious feeling of power that Charles had yet to understand. “Are you going to let me in?” A familiar, yet unexpected voice greeted him as he returned from his deep thoughts. He'd been so engrossed in his thoughts he'd forgotten he was standing, silently holding the knob of the front door. Brandon stood in front of him, tanned, and beaming. He looked amazing, the Jamaican sun, as well as the contentment of the permanency of marriage obviously agreeing with his friend. “Shit!” Charles leapt forward nearly toppling Brandon. He pinned his unsuspecting friend against the wall, hugging him so hard that he heard Brandon gasp. “Sorry.” Charles smiled as he released Brandon from the death grip. He carefully re-arranged Brandon's linen shirt, now wrinkled and askew from Charles' attack. “That's some welcome.” Brandon winced as he tried to catch his breath. “I'm not sure if you're glad to see me or if you're trying to kill me.” “Come in, you bitch! You weren‟t supposed to get here till tomorrow. Spill, what's up? You look amazing. How was the trip? Did Daniel fuck you senseless or what?” Brandon smirked “Well let‟s see... Thank you. It was fantastic, and of course.” A laugh escaped his attempt at humility. “Hurricane Gustof changed my

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travel plans.” He laughed heartily. His expression changed quickly to one of concern. “I did have a wild experience just a second ago though. Kind of a blast from the past, nobody you need to worry about. It‟s just odd that he'd have been at my house, anyhow.” “It wasn't Andy was it?” Charles asked in a panicked tone. “How the fuck do you know Andy? You do know, of course, he‟s Joe's ex, right?” Brandon's hand waved wildly as he pointed toward the courtyard outside the pool house. “It's kind of complicated, but I just do. We kind of well, shit, we talked and he's an okay guy, and it kind of turned into me fucking him. That's all.” “Excuse me?” Brandon choked. “Joe is going to burst a blood vessel. You do know that, don't you? The reason he and Andy broke up is because Andy was unfaithful. Now this. Fuck, He‟s going to... Charles how could you?” “It's okay, Joe knows. Actually he kind of watched, so to speak.” “What the hell has happened since I've been gone? The world is upside down. You're a top now; Joe is having a threesome with his ex and his new lover. I thought I was the fucked up one here. He's supposed to be my therapist.” Brandon laughed involuntarily. “Joe didn‟t join in, you bitch, he just kinda let me finish. It‟s weird, I don‟t get it either. Where is Andy now?” Charles asked, unshaken.

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“I made him leave. I'm sorry I didn't know. Shit. How the hell was I supposed to know you and he, or he and Joe, or fuck, I'm not even sure what I do know. I'll see if he's still in the driveway, hang on.” “Nah, it's okay, we were just 'gonna watch the ball game.” “So you want me to leave?” A frightened voice from the courtyard questioned. “Shit. Andy, I'm sorry I didn't know about you and, well shit, I didn't know.” Brandon ruffled his already wild hair. “I'm not sure what is going on here either, except I need a friend more than a lover. And Charles is a great guy and I'd rather have him as a friend than a lover, if you still want to watch the game that is...” Andy emerged from the shadows cast by the ornate fixtures around the pool. “Come in, it's cool. Brandon was just catching me up on his trip that's all.” “Thanks, man, I appreciate it. Gotta beer?” Andy placed his hand on Brandon's back as he entered the apartment. “Thanks for not annihilating me.” “I'm just sorry for being rude. My mom would kick my ass if she were alive. Rudeness is a sign of bad breeding.” Brandon flashed a smile that revealed a nearly perfect set of gleaming white teeth. Charles sighed as he took in the sight of his handsome friend. Fuck, how he wished he were as good-looking as Brandon. The thing that perhaps made Brandon as amazing as he was, he had no clue that he was

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a work of art to look at. Andy dug absently in the refrigerator for a beer. “Wine coolers? How gay is that?” “What can I say? I like what I like. If that makes me a flaming queen, then so be it.” Charles smiled. He'd grown more comfortable accepting that the perception of himself was far less important to him than his satisfaction with the 'realness' of his life since he‟d met Brandon and Daniel. “I've 'gotta go. I‟ve got a big hunk of man waiting on me upstairs.” Brandon smiled and motioned toward the main house. Andy grinned. “If I had that man waiting on me, I'd climb the fucking trellis to get to him.” “Down, boy.” Charles cautioned, only half joking. As odd as it was, he had an almost frightening connection with Brandon -- he loved him. Not as a “lover” but he loved him deeply. He cared about Brandon in a way he didn't know was possible. He was a kindred spirit. That was rare, and he didn't intend for his budding friendship with Andy to get in the way of that. He knew jealousy wasn't becoming, but he couldn't help it. “Oh, please. If you had the chance you'd jump that big hunk of Marine your own self so don't play innocent with me.” Andy threw the offending wine cooler toward Charles.

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“On that note, I think I'll go.” Brandon smiled, winking at Charles as he closed the door. “No fucking way. You and Daniel? He fucked you? I should punch you out? I‟d give a nut to have that big hunk of military meat in me. You selfish bitch. Details, now!” “No, Daniel didn't fuck me.” Although a technicality, it was the truth. He'd been part of a triangle of lust that threatened his grasp on reality with the two men. He'd ended the sexual part of their relationship because he knew it was sure to end his friendship and sever the love he knew he and Brandon shared. He was still so wildly attracted to Daniel's strength and sheer raw sexuality that he dare not give himself the opportunity to think about the possibilities he'd passed up. “We are just friends, Andy. That's the truth. Brandon is like my brother you know?” The two men returned to the big-screen television dominating the small den area of the pool house apartment. Charles' mind drifted back to the sexual tryst with Andy. He couldn't help admit that he was sexually turned on by Andy. He wore a string tank top that hung loosely on his chiseled frame. His body glistened with moisture as he cheered the team on the screen. Charles shifted nervously trying to hide the obvious erection his daydream had wrought. “Is it me or is it hot in here?” Andy smiled nodding at Charles‟ erection

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standing at attention against the loose basketball shorts he'd thrown on before his friend arrived. “I'm just kind of horny, that's all.” “Well, I could help you out with that.” Andy slid across the couch, deftly releasing his cock with one swift move. “I can't fuck you. I'm sorry. It's not right. Joe's not here, I'm not okay with this unless he knows what's happening.” Charles rose. “I need to get a shower.” As he walked into the bedroom he slipped out of his shorts and shirt. His cock now stood at attention in front of him. He sighed deeply, his mind still adrift with thoughts of Joe and, unfortunately, of Andy's amazing body. He quickly turned to get in the shower. Hopefully, Andy would get the message and go home. He stepped into the waiting shower. The hot water eased his tension some. He couldn't take much more sexual tension today. He'd end up doing something he knew he'd regret. He swallowed hard, trying to remind himself of the promise he'd made himself concerning Joe. “No sex unless Joe's here. No sex unless Joe is here.” “Who are you trying to convince?” A quiet almost whispered response to his reminder to himself. Andy stood now naked in the bathroom. “Mind if I shower too?” “I can't do this. It's not right. Joe's not here.” Charles chanted.

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“Relax. I'm not going to jump your bones or anything? I just needed a shower too.” Andy's body glistened as he stepped into the shower. He brushed precariously against Charles' rigid cock with his ass. Andy deliberately avoided his gaze, washing himself slowly, pausing at his cock. He massaged the suds into his growing erection. He stepped slowly toward Charles who was frozen in place. His cock pressed against Charles' thigh. Charles felt the heat as it against him. His body trembled with excitement. His cock rested hard against the amazing surface of Andy's washboard abs. Andy whispered into Charles' ear. “You don't have to do anything; I'll do all the work.” Charles gasped as Andy forcefully grabbed his ass and pulled him tightly into him. Even as his body willingly melted under Andy's touch, his mind and heart rebelled against the betrayal. He was cheating on Joe. It was that simple. This is wrong, his mind screamed. His body trembled at the forceful advances of his friend. God how he wanted to leave, to run, but his body seemed unwilling to move. He felt Andy slide effortlessly down his stomach and swallow his cock with one deft move. The handsome man's face looked up at him even as he expertly moved Charles toward the orgasm his body so badly wanted, but his mind so violently fought. Suddenly his guilt was more than he could bear. He pushed Andy hard

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against the wall. “No!” He practically ran out of the shower, now flaccid from the realization that he'd broken every rule he'd set down to safeguard the relationship that he'd hoped would be forever. Joe had given him permission to “play” with Andy, but Charles knew it was wrong. His heart knew it was wrong. Hell even his cock knew it was wrong. He only wanted Joe, his body, his cock, his heart. Tears began to well in his eyes as he realized that he loved the doctor in a way he'd never even imagined possible. He didn't want the amazing man in his shower. He didn't want to have sex with him even though he was wildly attracted to him. It must be love. His heart wouldn't allow him to violate that love, even if his lover had given him permission to. Charles quickly began dressing, forgetting completely the beautiful man still wet and dripping, dumbfounded in the bathroom door. “What's up, man? It's not like we were 'gonna fuck or anything, it's not like that. Joe probably wouldn't care anyhow.” Andy draped a towel around his waist. “I know that. I don't want to do it. I don't want Joe fucking anybody and I don't want to get fucked by anybody. It might be selfish but I want him to want only me. I don't want him to want you. I don't want him to want anybody. It's stupid, I know.” Charles hurried to dress. “It's not stupid, Charles. It's called love. I'm an ass. I should have respected that. Forgive me. I won't put you in that position again, I swear. Don't give up on

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me. I'm not a complete fuck up.” “I'm glad we're friends. Thanks, Andy. Thanks for understanding.” “I hope Joe knows how lucky he is.” Andy motioned toward Charles as he gathered his keys getting ready to leave. “Not half as lucky as I am to have him.” Charles hugged Andy as he left to find Joe, determined to make the doctor as happy as he'd made him.

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Chapter Eight

The warmth of the sun on Joe's face made him smile. It was a familiar feeling, like the security of youth, and of home. The feeling was so reminiscent of his younger days, he thought for a moment he smelled coffee and the scent of fresh cooked bacon waft over his consciousness. He breathed in deeply, allowing himself to daydream a bit longer before facing the harsh reality of his lonely condo. Suddenly he roused at the realization that his “daydream” also included the sound of cooking bacon, as well as the familiar scent of his favorite cologne. This was no daydream; somebody was cooking in his kitchen, and apparently wearing his cologne. Brandon was due back today, maybe he'd decided to come over and discuss his trip. He did have a key to the condo, but why would he just allow Joe to sleep while he cooked. None of it made sense. Growing more concerned, he rose to check it out. Grabbing his favorite bathrobe from the bathroom, he noticed that his shower had been used and his cologne sat, still open on the counter. Hope sprang up in his throat. Maybe, it was Charles. He quickly adjusted the robe, washed his face and made an attempt at

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making his hair presentable for the young man he hoped was in his kitchen. He smiled again at the familiar smells and sounds as he approached the kitchen. A feeling of warmth and well-being seemed to fill the room as he rounded the corner to see his lover. Charles stood in the kitchen, wearing one of Joe's dress shirts, open and draped precariously across his shoulders, revealing his well sculpted abs and amazing chest. His cock, even flaccid, was still impressive. He'd never really noticed how well-hung Charles was even when soft. He was sure that Andy had been amply “filled” when they'd had their little adventure. His heart sank a bit as he thought about his former lover. He'd allowed Andy back in, now he feared Charles might be more comfortable with him than with a repressed doctor. Joe wasn't about to ignore the fact that he had an amazing, handsome, halfnaked man cooking breakfast in his kitchen. The sight of the well-built man made his cock spring to attention under the robe. He had gone un-noticed to his lover, so he walked quietly behind him. He reached around Charles and hugged him heartily from behind, allowing his cock to press hard against his lover's adorable bubble butt. “Shit, I wanted to surprise you!” Charles gasped, turning toward Joe. “Well, mission accomplished. It's not every day I get the most handsome man in Atlanta to come cook me breakfast, in the nude at that!”

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“I'm not naked, you bad, bad, man.” Charles protested, buttoning the shirt around him. “I just wanted to have something of yours while I cooked your breakfast that's all. I'll clean up as soon as I get done, I promise.” Charles, of course, knew that Joe was a slave to order. It was his curse. He'd fought the need to pick up the stray clothing left after a sexual tryst with his lover. He'd gotten up several times after Charles had fallen asleep just to carefully fold the clothing they'd left strewn around the room in the passion of the moment. Joe decided today he wasn't going to obsess. He was going to fucking live. Screw it! He wasn't going to allow himself to miss out on life anymore. He walked over to Charles, turned off the stove and put his hands under the handsome man's face. “You don't have to clean up a fucking thing, except maybe my cock later.” Charles stood slack-jawed at the departure for the normally polite and wellspoken doctor. Joe took his hands and forcefully ripped open the shirt, dropping it to the floor. “Now, that's more like it.” “What's got into you this morning?” “A good looking man, that's what.” “Well, I like it.” Charles grinned. His cock sprang forward in reaction. “Obviously.” The doctor growled.

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Charles' body glistened in the morning light; perspiration beaded on his spectacular chest, and ran precariously down the center line of the mountain range of his amazing abdomen. Joe shivered as he took in the sight. He leaned in, took in the sight, and lapped the sweet nectar of his lover's body from his chest. Charles moaned involuntarily, reaching around Joe's neck. The amazing sight of Charles‟ beautiful face made the doctor wild with lust. He traced his tongue, savoring the smell, the taste of his freshly showered lover, moist from the labor of cooking him breakfast. He lapped at Charles pectoral muscles, sucking lightly on his nipples. Unwilling to wait any longer to enjoy his lover, he took his arm and cleared the counter behind Charles. All the appliances and decorative items scattered noisily to the ground or into the sink. He didn't care. Fuck the kitchen, he wanted Charles now. He wouldn't be a slave to his home. His home was here for him to enjoy, not the other way around. Charles gasped at the noise turning quickly to try to salvage the broken items. “Forget that shit!” Joe forcefully picked Charles up by the waist sitting him on top of the marble counter. He took advantage of the position to further enjoy his lover's body. Charles closed his eyes, content to enjoy this momentary lapse in Joe's need for order. The doctor began again lapping at his lover's body, running his tongue

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precariously around his nipples and across the well-formed biceps. He breathed in deeply the musk of his lover's lust. It made him wild with passion. He ran his tongue up the side of Charles body, finally coming to rest in the warmth of his smooth underarm. His lover began writhing with pleasure at the move. He plunged his tongue deeply as Charles began grinding against Joe's body. “Fuck!” Charles moaned. Joe stopped momentarily “I'm sorry.” “No! Goddamnit! Don't stop, that's fucking amazing!” Joe pulled Charles closer to him, draping his legs across his shoulders. His amazing bubble butt begged to be fucked. Joe reached across his lover to drizzle olive oil he found lying on its side next to his lover. He pressed his cock hard against Charles' waiting hole. He leaned in and growled deeply into his lover's ear. He dug his fingers into the toned flesh that melted under his touch. “Do you want it, baby? Do you want my cock?” “Yes, sir! Fuck me! Please, Sir, don't make me wait.” Normally the reference to himself as “sir” was completely non-sexual, but today it nearly drove him to orgasm. He pushed himself deep inside his lover, impaling him to the hilt on his over-engorged cock. He thrust himself repeatedly into Charles, who was moaning wildly. He threw his head back, lying on the cold marble, forcing his ass further off the edge of the counter, and further onto Joe's

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massive erection. It felt as if it were about to explode, as if it were a balloon overinflated to the point of bursting. “Do you want my load, boy? Do you?” “Oh fuck, yes! Please fill my ass, sir! I need it! I want it! Give it to me!” Without speaking Joe pulled to the edge of retreat from his lover's ass. Charles moaned with displeasure. Joe smiled as he reached under Charles‟ ass, now hanging precariously off the counter and slapped it hard, leaving it burning and red. With that he drove himself deep inside his lover‟s ass, pumping it full of what felt like a gallon of pent up sex. Charles squealed with pleasure as Joe used the olive oil to massage his lover's cock to a quick release. The doctor fell spent against the young man, now breathless and motionless on the wreckage that had once been his neat kitchen counter. Suddenly as he remembered the hard blow he'd given Charles' ass, he feared he might have gone too far. “Did I hurt you, baby?” “Fuck, no! I loved it. I wouldn't have ever thought I'd love getting my ass smacked but, fuck! That was hot. I'm not sure why but, Fuck! ohhhhh!! I'm 'gonna have to tell Brandon I get it now!” Joe laughed at the insanity of his actions. He was proud of himself. It was a wonderful, glorious mess, and he'd enjoyed every minute of it. “What's so funny?” Charles finally leaned up, confused at the turn of

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emotion. “I'm just so glad I didn't do the respectable thing this morning and just sit quietly and enjoy the breakfast you cooked.” “Any time you want to throw respectability to the wind like this be my guest.” “And any time you want to make me breakfast again, be my guest!” Charles laughed almost uncontrollably. “That's a deal, Doctor Demitri, that's a deal!”

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Chapter Nine

Charles ran upstairs, pausing for a moment upon hearing the out-of-tune musings of his lover singing the jazz tune “My Way.” He quietly tip-toed into the bathroom, avoiding disturbing his lover's serenade. Suddenly the water stopped, and Joe emerged from the shower, still dripping wet. “Jesus!” Joe gasped, nearly falling flat on the floor, sliding on the tile. “When did you come in here? Shit, I was singing like an idiot.” Charles walked over, kissed him gently on the lips. “I love to hear you sing. It reminds me I'm not the worst singer in the world.” “Gee, thanks!” “No problem, I'm going to shower now.” Charles disrobed, deliberately brushing provocatively against his lover's cock, smiling as he entered the tiled enclosure. He turned on the water, waiting for the steam to welcome him into the much needed respite. As he stepped into the scalding water, he allowed his mind to drift back to Andy, and the relationship that grew increasingly uncomfortable. Andy was a nice guy, but the sexual tension, the fact that he'd shared Joe's bed

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made him grow more and more unsettled. He wished he could be as “forward thinking” as Joe, but for him it just seemed the more he thought about it, the less he was okay with any of it. As he continued lathering his chest, he realized the water was turning cold quickly. Absently he turned off the water, resting his head against the heated tile wall. I want to resolve this... now! His thoughts turned to how to tell Joe he wasn't okay with him having Andy in his life. It put them at risk, and it wasn't something Charles wanted to deal with. After drying off, he quickly tossed on a robe and padded quietly downstairs, hoping to find Joe still enjoying his morning ritual of cereal and coffee. As he rounded the corner toward the kitchen, he overheard Joe talking to someone in the kitchen. Within a second he recognized the voice. Andy. Charles knew he should enter, and announce his presence, but curiosity, as well as a certain level of distrust caused him to wait outside, listening to the conversation. “Look, Joe, you have to tell him now! I won't be part of this deception of yours. I know you think its best, and you're trying to protect Braden, but you have no right to keep this from him. He's a good kid, and you owe it him to be honest!” Andy's was growing in pitch and confrontational in tone. “Don't fucking presume to tell me how to deal with Braden! It is none of your fucking business! For that matter you inconsiderate prick, neither is Charles. If you think I'm going to sit idly by while you use Braden to get back into my

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lover's pants, you are sadly mistaken. I should never have allowed this to continue. I knew you would be trouble.” “I'm not trying to steal Charles!” “Then why the fuck, would you bring Braden into this? Tell you what, if you mention his name again, I'm going to break you in half. Is that specific enough?” Joe's words reverberated in the large kitchen. “I know that your first responsibility is to Bra...” “I wasn't kidding...” Joe warned “I just don't think you're treating Charles right. He deserves to know. That's all.” “You let me worry about Charles, now get the fuck out! While I'm at it, you need to leave Charles alone. I'm not okay with this. I'm not okay with it at all! I want him to want me, not you! I love him. Goddamnit!” “I know you do, you ignorant fuck! That's why you owe it to him to tell him.” Charles began backing slowly up the stairs, as he rounded the corner out of sight of the doorway; he sat down on the top step. His mind reeled. There was a certain part of him that swelled with an unfamiliar feeling of happiness. Joe loved him. He did. That realization made his heart sing. The feeling was short lived though. The name Andy kept mentioning,

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Braden, wouldn't leave his mind. He rose as he heard the door slam and Joe's footsteps approaching the bottom of the stairway. He hurriedly padded toward the bathroom. As he took a bottle of cologne and spritzed himself liberally with the scent, he sensed the presence of his lover in the doorway. “Enjoying the view?” “Of course.” Charles turned to see his lover, fully dressed and ready for work. “I do love you. I have a meeting this morning. Can we do dinner tonight at Mangioni's? We have some things we need to discuss.” Charles' heart sank. God, he's still seeing someone else, this Braden guy. He probably wants a threesome or something. He didn't want to share Joe with anyone, not Andy, not whoever this Braden guy was. “Sounds serious.” “Nah, I just need to talk to you about something.” “Why not now? Just get it out.” “It'll have to wait.” Joe pecked him on the mouth. “I have work.” “I thought you were off work today?” “I got called in at the last minute.” “Okay, baby, we'll talk later.” Charles reassured his lover. He was thankful he'd opted not to discuss the other man. Charles sighed as Joe walked toward the condominium door. He swallowed

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hard, trying not to think about where his lover was headed. Charles quickly dressed, trying to occupy his mind. A loud buzzing coming from his pocket caused him to pause briefly on his way out the door. “Hello? Yes, this is he... No, I don't want any fucking vinyl siding!” His mood grew more brooding with each passing moment. He shut the phone, ending the sales pitch abruptly. He was in no mood for polite pleasantries. “He's lying to me.” He picked up his keys, pausing briefly to set the alarm on Joe's condominium. Charles dialed his phone pausing momentarily for the alarm‟s beep. “I‟m going to catch that bastard, Brandon. “ “What are you talking about?” Brandon‟s voice broke slightly. Charles wondered if he was covering for Joe. “Okay, lie for him if you want. I‟m gonna find out who this Braden guy is Brandon. Either you can tell me, or I‟ll find out myself!” “Give me fifteen minutes and I‟ll meet you in front of the condo.” Charles summarily flipped the phone closed without ending the conversation. His mood grew dark and seething. I knew Brandon was keeping something from me! Within minutes, the black S.U.V. pulled in front of the condominium

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complex. Brandon pushed open the passenger door. “Get in, were going for a ride. It‟s Tuesday, I‟ll take you where you want to go. I‟d rather you find out this way than to scare the shit out of him.” “Scare the shit out of whom? If some whore is trying to steal the only good thing that‟s happened to me in God knows when, then he‟s the asshole that should be scared!” “Charles, I‟m only going to say this once. Joe is a good man. He‟s helped me more times than I can count. He would never cheat on you.” “Then kindly explain to me who the fuck this Braden asshole is.” The large S.U.V. came to a stop in front of a wooded area that Charles recognized as McAlister Park. It was a family park area with swings, play sets and sandboxes. “I think you need to step back for a second, take a breath and accept that I‟m telling you the truth. Joe is a good man, and he wouldn‟t lie to you without good reason.” “Fuck good reasons! I‟m entitled to the truth. Fuck, we‟ve been having sex for months now. We don‟t use protection, Brandon! How the hell do I know who he‟s been sleeping with? What has he done?” “He hasn‟t been sleeping with anyone Charles. Look at the park.” Charles looked toward the park. He saw a dark haired man with his back

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turned to the S.U.V. He recognized the tweed jacket that Joe had worn that morning. He was kneeling down on one knee tossing a ball to a beautiful blond haired boy, maybe 4 or 5. Platinum ringlets encircled his face, the face of an angel. In a burst, the young boy ran toward Joe tackling him, landing on top of him. Joe lay on his back, laughing, and playing with the young boy. The youngster jumped up and ran toward the trees, squealing with delight. Joe jumped up and turned toward the S.U.V. for a moment, unaware of his presence his eyes were wild with fear till he caught sight of the young boy. He ran quickly after him, scooping him up and playfully blowing on his stomach. Charles sat silent. Words were completely lost on him. He had a million questions racing through his mind, yet he seemed mute. His body was heavy as he sat there trying to compute what all of this meant, who this boy was, and who was Joe when he was with him. It was a side of the doctor he‟d never seen. He was truly a child himself. Finally he managed a low raspy response. “Who is that?” “His name, of course, is Braden. He‟s Joe‟s son. He‟s almost five. Joe was married just out of college, but it was clear that they didn‟t really know what they were getting into. Joe was trying to do the “normal” thing. Faith, that‟s his wife, wasn‟t willing to accept less than all of him, so they agreed to end it. She found out after they‟d split that she was pregnant. Joe spends most of the time he‟s not with you with Braden. He loves his son, Charles. I know this is a lot to take in.”

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“He‟s ashamed of me. Is that it?” “Don‟t be a drama queen, Charles. Of course he‟s not ashamed of you. But, it isn‟t fair to Braden to bring someone into his life that isn‟t permanent. And honestly, you don‟t know that this is permanent, so why would he assume differently?” “He could have at least told me.” Charles swallowed hard, the waves of emotion that he didn‟t even understand began to wash over him in torrents. He felt as though the interior of the Navigator turned wildly around him, making his head spin. He wanted to run. “I want out of here, now!” “Joe loves you.” “Now!” Charles watched the trees go by as Brandon navigated the winding streets that led back to Joe‟s condominium. He wanted to get in his car and drive. Drive until things made sense again. He didn‟t know what to think about any of this. Why would Joe lie to him about having a son? Was he really ashamed of him? Would he want to ever introduce him? Did he intend to reconcile with the wife Charles never even knew existed? The questions caused his head to ache. “Don‟t do anything stupid, Charles.” “I won‟t. I just need to get some things figured out before supper tonight.

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Thank you, Brandon. I‟m sorry I yelled at you, it‟s just that…” “I know, baby. I know.”

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Chapter Ten

Charles arrived at the small Italian restaurant fifteen minutes after he was supposed to arrive. He‟d changed clothes four times, wanting to look his best. He‟d spent the better part of the afternoon trying to figure out what his reaction to the “news” was supposed to be. Joe had no idea that he already knew about Braden. Charles simply needed to just tell Joe the truth, Charles hadn‟t trusted him, and Brandon had told him everything. He looked across the tiny restaurant, Mangioni‟s, toward a table at the corner that was Joe‟s favorite. Joe sat, looking at his watch. Normally he‟d be agitated at Charles‟ normal habit of being late, but tonight he had a look of concern, rather than agitation. Joe caught a glimpse of Charles as he entered the room. His eyes glistened with excitement. Charles nervously adjusted the linen suit he‟d chosen finally, for the occasion. It was a birthday present from Brandon. He always knew how to make Charles look his best. It was a bisque color, with a silk shirt underneath. He‟d chosen the monochromatic outfit so as to not appear to be “trying too hard.” “God, you look amazing!” The doctor gave him a warm embrace followed by an uncharacteristically long kiss. The pair sat down as Charles swallowed hard, preparing to end the torture.

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“I have something to tell you, Joe; I hope you won‟t be mad.” “Brandon called.” Joe smiled “That little liar. He said he‟d keep his mouth shut.” “He knew I was wrong for keeping Braden from you, at least for not telling you about him. He is right about that. But, I was afraid… I was… I didn‟t think you‟d want to be with me if…” Charles looked at the desperate man in front of him babbling on with no particular ability to convey whatever message he was trying to get across. It was wildly out of character for Joe. He was direct, always knew the perfect thing to say, yet tonight he was reduced to mumbled ramblings. “Do you think I‟m completely without any compassion? Do you think I‟m a horrible man? Or some kind of mindless whore?” “That‟s not fair, Charles.” “Okay then, don‟t ever assume you know how I‟ll react to something until you‟ve given me the opportunity to speak for myself.” Charles smiled broadly. A sense of self satisfaction at turning the tables on the normally in-charge doctor. “When I saw you with your son -- Jesus, that‟s sounds so out there, so fucking weird just to say. Your son. Anyhow when I saw you with Braden, I knew what it was that was missing. I knew what I‟d been sensing all along. I assumed it was something was wrong with me, or with us. It was a missing piece in the puzzle.

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You are an amazing dad, Joe. That boy loves you. The look of pride in his eyes was obvious. He is angelic, Joe. You have so much to be proud of. And no, I‟m not mad at you for keeping me from him. He doesn‟t need people in and out of his life that aren‟t going to be there for the „long haul‟ as it were. I am mad that you didn‟t trust me enough to know that I‟d love you more for living up to your responsibilities, for being a good father. That part hurts.” “I‟m so sorry, but you have to know, most guys don‟t want the extra “baggage.” When I‟m at work, they don‟t question it. But if I‟m hanging out with a kid instead of clubbing with them, well, it doesn‟t tend to go over well.” A tall, handsome waiter with the name tag “Mario” appeared at the table. He put a plate of pasta down in front of Joe, and Charles‟ favorite, stuffed shells in front of him. His large muscular arm brushed Charles as he placed it down in front of him. “Oh, sorry, sir.” The handsome man smiled broadly. “Oh, nooooo problem.” Charles smirked. “I hope you don‟t mind, I ordered for you.” Charles watched the good-looking waiter leave the area; his rather shapely behind left a smile on Charles face as he gave an extended gaze toward the kitchen. “He‟s not on the menu. Charles…”

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“It‟s a shame. A damn shame.” “Hey, I‟m the one that brought you out for a nice dinner here and you‟re drooling over the waiter.” “Hey, you know I‟ve got a thing for Italian guys.” An unfamiliar voice chimed in, “Oh, then we have more than one thing in common. You must be Charles.” Charles stammered “Uh… excuse me?” “I‟m Faith. I‟m Joe‟s ex, Braden‟s mom.” The tall slender woman extended her hand. Her deep brown eyes were piercing as Charles looked helplessly at the beautiful woman. She took her hand sweeping back the tresses of long black hair that covered her face. “Is there anybody else waiting in the kitchen I should know about? Any long lost relatives? Maybe you‟re a murderer, or psycho killer, or what the hell else is there coming tonight?” “You terrible man, Joe. You didn‟t tell him I was coming?” “Well, he was late… As usual. So I hadn‟t had time to warn him yet.” Joe chuckled at Charles expense. “Joe, are you trying to kill me? I don‟t know what the fuck to think. Oh shit, I‟m sorry, I didn‟t mean to be rude. I‟m sorry. Where are my manners?” Charles stood up and invited the gorgeous woman to sit down next to him. There was

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something frail about her that he couldn‟t quite put his finger on, but she was exquisite. Joe motioned for Charles to sit down beside Faith. “I wanted to introduce the two of you, since I am pretty sure that you, Charles, I hope, are going to be a part of my life. I want to share everything with you. I love Faith, she is the reason I am the man I am today. She kind of forced me to be honest with myself, and with her. She‟s been amazing, We truly do have a wonderful relationship, even though we‟re divorced. We‟ve made Braden the focus of our lives. Of course she and I both date, but we‟ve agreed that unless someone very special comes into our lives, that Braden wouldn‟t be subject to having people brought into his life for him to develop an attachment to, only to have them leave without explanation. That wouldn‟t be fair to him.” “I totally get that.” Charles sat upright, feeling a bit as if he were being interviewed for a job. “You must be something special, Charles. This is the first time since our divorce that Joe has brought someone to meet me. I‟m so glad to finally get to meet you. I‟ve heard endless hours of conversation about how wonderful you are, so it‟s good to finally get a chance to put a face with the person.” Faith placed her hand warmly onto Charles‟. He felt the kindness of her touch melt all apprehension he had. Her eyes were deep pools of emotion. Charles felt lost in their depth. He

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knew there was far more to this woman that he‟d been told, but wasn‟t sure if he‟d ever get the opportunity to find out. He searched for something to say. “Joseph Dean! You terrible man, you didn‟t order this wonderful woman dinner?” “I‟m not staying. I didn‟t want to interrupt your dinner, I just wanted to say hi, introduce myself. I must be going, I have a sitter. I‟m so pleased to meet you though. I promise I‟ll be in touch, Charles. We‟ll have lunch just the two of us. I have lots of secrets to tell you about this one here.” The woman‟s eyes twinkled with a mischievous glint. “Oh, God, if the two of you start comparing notes, I‟m done for.” Charles rose to allow Faith to leave. “Count on it, big man, count on it!” Charles sat back down and took a bite of the stuffed shells before him. “I love you…” Joe swallowed hard. “I‟m really glad, big guy. I love you too.”

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Chapter Eleven

Charles stood in the shower, the steaming water soothing away his tired muscles. The weeks of working out with Daniel‟s trainer were taking their toll, it made his body ache. He ran his hands slowly over his ass. He recalled the slap that Joe had given it the morning during sex. His cock sprang upward at the touch. Fuck, he'd never thought he'd like getting his ass smacked, but it made the orgasm more intense than he'd ever thought possible. Brandon had tried to explain why he enjoyed occasional “rough play” with Daniel, but it never made sense, till now that is. A smile curled from his lips as he continued enjoying the slow deliberate shower. “Charles, Brandon is on the phone, he says it's very important.” Joe sounded concerned. He turned off the water, quickly drying himself. He took the phone from Joe and dialed Brandon quickly. God, what else could be going on now? Joe smiled as he turned to leave, taking in the sight of Charles, naked, “What an ass... Mmmmm...”

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“Go away you bad, bad man.” Charles smirked. “Yes, Sir.” Joe mocked. “Brandon?” Charles heard a familiar voice on the other end of the phone. “Charles, Normally I wouldn't call you concerning this but I think Joe is too close, and I need you to help me with this. Remember the kid that you sent the clothes to?” “Yeah,” Charles smiled, remembering the awkward, handsome young boy that Brandon had helped rescue from his abusive father. “Cute kid.” “He's dead.” Charles felt his throat close. He couldn't breathe. The room began spinning. He felt nauseous. He felt as though he'd been hit hard in the stomach and he wanted to throw the phone down and run. His feet, however seemed glued to the floor. His voice refused to react. “Are you okay, Charles?” “I can't do this. I can't do it.” Charles gasped, barely able to utter anything. His voice was almost unintelligible. He knew what happened. He didn't need to hear it. He couldn't have it confirmed. “It's my fault. I should have stayed away from him. If I hadn't told him it's okay to be gay, he‟d still be alive. I killed him. Didn't I? I killed him Brandon.” “Charles. Nobody could have seen this coming. It's most certainly not your

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fault. I'll be over in a second. I'll tell Joe myself. I shouldn't have put that on you. I just don't know how to tell him. I know he loves you and I just thought it might come easier from you. Just give me a few minutes.” Charles mind reeled. What the hell is going on? How the hell could this happen? How could he tell Joe something like this? Brandon was right. He should do it, but he didn't even know what really happened. He decided to soften the shock before Brandon got there. Charles wiped his eyes and washed his face. He looked at himself in the mirror, his face was red and swollen, his eyes bloodshot. He looked like he'd been in a horrible fight. Joe would know something was wrong as soon as he saw him. He tried washing his face again with cold water to minimize the effect. As soon as he looked at the image in the mirror again, he began hysterically crying. He couldn't face Joe. He couldn't tell him this. He didn't even understand it himself. How could he face Joe when it was probably his fault that he was dead? He should leave helping people to professionals like Joe. “Is everything okay up there?” Charles felt panic rise in his throat as he heard Joe climbing the stairs that ended outside the door of the bathroom in which he was hiding. “I'm fine.” Charles lied. Joe pushed the door open. “Don't lie to me. What the hell is going on?

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What's going on? Is something wrong with Daniel? What did Brandon want? I know something is up, Charles; you're a mess.” “It's Henry.” Charles began hysterically weeping again. “I killed him Joe. I did it. I did it.” “Henry is dead? What the hell?” Joe stammered. “I don't know what happened. Brandon is coming over. I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything till he got here. I don't really know what happened. But I should have stayed out of it. I'm not smart like you. I should have let you help him and stayed away from him. Hell, my life is a mess. Who am I to think that I could help anybody.” Charles heard Brandon coming up the stairs. “I hope it‟s okay; I let myself in.” “Brandon, what happened? Henry was doing so well. We had him with a foster family. They were very good to him. He was dealing with his sexual identity. I don't understand. Was it an accident? A car wreck, what?” Joe‟s barrage of questions came in an unsettlingly businesslike manner that unnerved Charles. He knew that Joe had spent countless hours counseling the young teen. He loved that kid. He talked endlessly at dinner about how much he loved hanging out with Quint and Ben at the salon. Charles took him regularly out shopping and just to give him some validation that he was a special kid. Why was Joe so calm?

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“I wish it were that... innocent. His father petitioned the court and got custody three days ago. He was returned to his father. They found him this morning. His father is in custody now. It's...” Brandon's eyes welled with tears. “I saw him Joe. It's...awful. I didn't recognize him.” Brandon slid down the door casing. Joe knelt beside him. “You did everything you could, Brandon. It's in the court's hands now. We can't change what has happened. You or I didn't allow that...” Joe's words became more strained as he struggled to keep his composure. “...That monster.” “I shouldn't have told him it was okay to be gay. I made him dress like me. That's what did it. I know it, I should have...” Charles began moaning through his tears. “Done what?” Joe stood angrily and grabbed Charles by the arms. “Made him think he was a piece of shit because he was gay? Is that what he needed? To feel like he was damaged goods because he wasn't normal? Do you really fucking believe that? If you do, you aren't the man I thought I knew. Is that what you fucking believe, Charles? Answer me, Goddamnit!” Joe shook violently, rage in his eyes as he held hard onto Charles' arms. Charles began to tremble with fear. The rage he saw in Joe's eyes was so foreign to the doctor he didn't know what to do with it. He'd never seen Joe so

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angry, much less at him. “I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make you mad. Please Joe, you're hurting me...” Brandon grabbed his arm, “Joe, its okay. You did everything you could. It's okay.” Joe released Charles “Christ, I‟m as bad as that fucking monster. I've hurt you. Fuck!” He practically ran from the room toward his office, slamming the door behind him. From the bathroom the two men heard a loud crash as Joe cleared his desk with his arm. Then in short increments they heard a crash against the wall, followed by the sound of broken glass. Charles ran toward the office, followed by Brandon. He flung open the door to find Joe removing his various licenses and diplomas and other accomplishments that were framed around his office and throwing them violently against the wall. “A fucking joke. That's what the hell I am!” A picture frame sailed across the room, exploding as it hit the dark paneled wall. “I want to kill the fucker. That's what I want. I want to know what that Goddamn piece of shit did to that.... sweet.... beautiful... “ Joe's eyes were wild with rage. He grabbed Brandon. “Tell me, damn you! I deserve to know.” “It won't change anything.” Brandon‟s face held only sadness. “I'm just as much a part of this organization as you are and I will find out. You better just tell me Brandon.”

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“A baseball bat.” Brandon evaded Joe's eyes. “A baseball bat,” Joe repeated. “A baseball bat?” Charles screamed. “I'm in. Let's kill the fucker. Let's rape him, and then beat the shit out of him with a ball bat. Make it last a long fucking time. Don't let the fucker die quick. Torture the bastard.” Joe stepped back, almost as if he were jolted into reality by Charles‟ tirade. He laughed a little as he breathed more steadily. “I'm not fucking kidding. I want the fucker dead. Let's do it.” “We can't do that. Much as we might want to. That makes us just as bad as he is.” Joe sighed. “Maybe we can just rape his ass then...” Brandon smiled. “We could rape him with a bat...” Charles added. “Ok, maybe we'll rape him with the bat.” Joe grinned, a momentary lapse in his angry tirade. Suddenly his face turned deadly serious. “I want to see him.” “I don't think that's a good idea.” Brandon warned. “It's not your decision, Brandon. I'm a doctor, it‟s my decision. I will not leave this boy. I intend to see him. I failed him once. I'm not going to allow him to be buried like a pauper.” “The foundation is going to take care of the burial.” Brandon offered. “Actually I'm going to decorate a room at the McKinney funeral home. They deal

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with a lot of gay couples, transgender folks, and such. They will more... understanding of the circumstance. Also, they are so kind to the gay community, I think it would be nice to do something for them. I intend to make sure the world knows that this kid didn't die for nothing. I want everyone to know his only crime was being a sweet, beautiful...” Brandon choked back tears. Charles hugged his friend. Brandon began to sob uncontrollably. “Charles.... we're so lucky man. We've got each other; we've got friends. We're so lucky, you and me. This kid just didn't get any breaks. He just got....” His words became lost in the hysterical sobs. “I'm sorry... I just needed a hug...” Charles began wiping away his own tears. “Yeah, I guess till now I never knew how lucky I am. That could have been me. My dad could've done that to me.” Brandon sniffed back tears. “Yeah, we've both been there. I guess we've just got to make sure more kids don't end up there, somehow. I don't know how, but somehow.”

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Chapter Twelve

The sun shone brightly on the group of people lined around the handsome building in the center of the small bedroom community of Marietta, Georgia. As a suburb of Atlanta, it was well connected, many of the area's best known citizens found their home there. It was reputed to be “Atlanta's best kept secret.” It was truly a slice of Southern heritage. Large stately homes lined the streets on either side of the funeral home housed in an old Victorian in the historic district of the suburb. Joe stood stiffly waiting for some type of sign that he was doing the right thing. Hoping that somehow the heavens would open and he'd be shown the “way.” Unfortunately for him it seemed that there were no real “right” answers, only more questions. “It's time.” Charles took him by the hand and led him toward the chapel beside the Victorian house. It looked like a tiny church you‟d find in a French village. The room was crowded with a diverse group. Atlanta's most visible politicians were present, as well as Brandon's brother, accompanied by several Navy officers. There were men dressed in suits, men in jeans and leather jackets.

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There were transgendered people present. It made Joe proud that Atlanta had turned out in all its most colorful faces to pay tribute to a young man who exemplified courage. The two men sat down as the pianist began playing a stirring string of hymns that brought Joe back to his childhood, attending church with his mother. It was a comforting feeling. Seated at the front of the congregation was Quinton. He wore a clerical robe, yet his hair was characteristically as stylish as ever. Joe smiled. “You can take the boy out of the salon...” he whispered to Charles. “Shh....” Charles chastised. “Sorry.” Joe was truly impressed by Quinton though. He really did exemplify what he believed a clergyman should be. Honest, trustworthy, Quinton put the needs of others ahead of his own, and he loved God. He was truly an inspiration to the doctor, as well as a puzzling man to analyze. When the two had discussed how Quinton felt his homosexuality affected his spiritual walk, he'd simply stated, “When I get to heaven, I've got some big questions. Till then, I'll have to assume God don't make no garbage, and that's that.” After Quinton stood and gave a brief eulogy and scriptural remarks he asked Charles to come to the front. Joe was struck dumb. He had no idea that Charles intended to speak. He never spoke publicly. It made him nauseous to address a dozen people concerning a design job, much less four-hundred of Atlanta's most

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dignified and diverse citizens, as well as thousands watching on the cable coverage provided since there was now legislation in the works to hopefully stop this tragedy from being repeated. It was slated to be named “Henry's bill.” Charles wore a dark blue suit. Joe had never seen him so serious. He looked as though he were carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He took the podium and paused. He took off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. He stood with his shirt open. The scars from the assault from his father were obvious on his chest. He cleared his throat. “My name is Charles. I am lucky. I carry the scars to remind me that people don't have to have a reason to hate. It is the hate in their heart that is visited on others. I want you to look carefully at the scars in front of you. Those are precious to me. I wear them with pride now. Henry's only crime was that he was proud of the man he was. He was a gay man. I am a gay man. I am proud of Henry. He had more courage than any of us in this room because we didn't have the courage to stand up for him when he couldn't stand up for himself. We failed him. Let's not continue to fail the young people of our community. I wear these scars with pride because they remind me that I survived what Henry didn't.” The congregation sat silent. Several minutes past as Charles left the podium, until a line of twenty teenagers took the stage. Joe recognized them all as teenagers he'd counseled through the program Brandon had begun. His heart swelled with

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pride as he heard their voices fill the auditorium. The heart-felt strains of The wind beneath my wings caused him to swallow hard, trying to keep his emotion in check. Charles leaned over to Joe “You did that. Each one of those kids is here because you and Brandon cared enough about them to share your heart with them.” Joe smiled as his heart soared. He had failed Henry. That was something he'd live with till he died. He didn't intend to let that happen again. Never again would he let his fear of fighting the system stand in his way. Henry did not die in vain. “Don't forget that Henry was as happy as he'd ever been when you were with him. You were the big brother he needed. You were the role model he needed. That's more powerful than anything I could have ever done. He respected you most of all because you didn't let your father change the man you are. You can't change who Henry's father is. But you did change who Henry was. He was happy. Don't let that get lost in this tragedy. Henry knew he was loved.” “He was loved.” Charles whispered. “I know I won't ever have a son, You have Braden. That‟s something you‟ll have that I never will, but it kind of felt like if we had a.... It's stupid I know, we are two guys, and all the stereotypes of I have two daddies and all, but...” “I know.” Joe hugged him hard. “I felt that way too. These are all my boys in

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a way.” He motioned toward the young men leaving the front of the chapel. As the service ended and the congregation slowly exited the chapel, the doctor saw the owner of the funeral home. He was a slender man, handsome with carefully cropped military style hair. He wore a dark suit with a champagne colored shirt. Joe walked over to the young man, who was greeting the mourners as they left the service. His firm handshake impressed Joe. He'd always felt a lot is said without words, that a handshake or hug spoke volumes on who a man was. This was a sturdy, self-confident, yet compassionate man. His steel blue eyes looked directly at each person he greeted. His eyes were kind, the eyes of genuine concern, borne of genuine desire to serve. “I would like to commend you on the job you did for Henry. He was a special young man. Actually I'd like to thank you for your service to the community. Our community specifically.” Joe motioned to Charles who stood holding his hand in comfort. “Too many people treat gay couples as if they should be ashamed of the fact that they are together. You have treated us with nothing but respect. For someone like yourself to go out of your way for the gay community, well I wish I could say you weren't as rare as you are, but most unfortunately you are the exception rather than the rule. My name is Joe Demitri by the way.” “Brock McKinney. And as for anything I do for the families I serve, I don't

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distinguish between anyone regardless of their situation. I believe it is the single most important task we all have as human beings. We should treat each other as we'd like to be treated.” “Well said.” Charles smiled. As the two men followed the procession toward the gravesite Joe looked at Charles with sorrow in his eyes. “I hope this is the last time we have to do this.” “I don't know if my heart can take much more.” Charles lamented, not looking up, his eye fixed on the carpeting of the SUV. “Honestly, neither do I, Baby. Neither do I.”

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Chapter Thirteen

Though several days had passed since the funeral, Charles still felt emptiness in his soul. Every day he saw another challenge. It kept him going. He‟d begun daily visits to the group home that housed most of the boys he‟d come to know and love. He was dressing this morning, planning on a visit to surprise one of the newcomers with some new clothing. Most of the time when the boys came to them, they wore either ragged clothes, or in some cases, came only in what clothing they had on their bodies. “Charles, do you have a second?” Joe shouted through the bathroom door. “Yeah, hang on, old man!” “Who you callin' old man?” Joe opened the door and peeked in at Charles. “If the orthopedic shoes fit, wear „em.” Charles smirked. He was strangely happy this morning. It was a good day. Charles stood in front of the mirror, naked except his briefs, his clothing carefully folded beside him. The doctor smiled at him. “What are you smiling at?” “At the tastiest sight I‟ve seen in a while. And it‟s been a while, I might add.”

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“Yeah, I know, baby, but I‟ve just been so… distracted. I have to say though you are looking awfully inviting your own self, in that Hugo Boss suit you‟re sporting there. If you weren‟t so well dressed I might just molest you right here and now.” “Well, don‟t let that stop you!” With that, the doctor dropped the jacket to the floor and loosened his tie. Charles hurried over to the discarded jacket, picking it up, dusting it off, and carefully folding it across the counter top. “Now did I ask you to do that, young man?” “Don‟t be fresh, it‟ll get wrinkled.” “Did I ask you to do it?” Joe‟s eye‟s twinkled with a devilish wink. “Oh… no sir. I‟ve been very bad sir.” “So you have. Come here, boy!” His voice was commanding, and throaty. Charles went to him, unsure where the game was headed, but willing to explore whatever direction his lover saw fit to take it. Joe removed his shirt and tie, revealing his impressive chest, peppered with a fine trail of hair. God how Charles loved touching him. He placed his hand on his lover‟s chest and ran it down slowly tracing his abdomen, toward the waistband of his dress pants. Suddenly Charles felt Joe grab him forcefully from behind, and with the other hand he grasped Charles‟ growing erection through the strained

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fabric of the briefs he wore. “I think somebody has been having naughty thoughts this morning.” “Yes, sir.” Charles tried not to smile, wanting to play along with the ruse. He gave an exaggerated pout. “I think you need to be punished, boy! But first let‟s see if you can give me the same kind of reaction, you have.” Charles dropped to his knees, deftly unbuttoning the doctor‟s dress pants. He unzipped them releasing an already engorged member. “Somebody‟s feeling awfully wicked this morning their own selves! No underwear? How delicious.” Charles allowed the pants to drop to the floor. Joe stepped out of them as Charles quickly began to devour the cock before him. He paused at the tip, flicking it gently, causing his lover to ooze pre-cum, and shake with pleasure. “Boy! You aren‟t getting off that lightly! I intend to punish you for such naughty behavior. Stand up and drop those briefs. Now!” Charles cock swelled at the suggestion. He dropped the strained briefs to the floor revealing a swollen cock that was white hot and purple in color. He feared if he touched it, he would cum instantaneously on the floor. “Bend over the counter boy!” Charles happily complied.

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He stood, facing the mirror, his naked lover behind him. The cool tile of the counter sent shivers down his spine as his erection pressed hard against it. He was so aroused that the mere sight of Joe‟s amazing body, and massive arms made him want to massage his cock to an early release. “Sir, may I touch my cock please?” “Absolutely not!” Joe leaned into him, his cock pressed hard against the object of his lust. Charles tried hard to relax to allow Joe to enter him, but his lover had other plans. He pressed his cock hard against him, leaning into him, allowing him to watch the slow, careful movements in the mirror before him. “Does the boy think he deserves my cock this morning?” “Yes, sir!” Charles smiled happily. “I don‟t think so.” Joe retreated from behind him. He massaged Charles‟ ass with a tenderness that made Charles‟ cock ache. “I think my boy deserves a spanking.” “I have been a bad boy, sir.” Charles tried hard not to smile knowing where his lover was going with the conversation. The doctor gave him two hard, quick slaps to the rear, followed again by the tender caresses that made him ache for release. He felt Joe creep up behind him again. This time he continued massaging Charles‟ ass, but worked an ample supply of lubricant into the waiting hole. “I see someone came prepared” Charles laughed. “Don‟t get too excited, boy. Just for that, I won‟t fuck you!”

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“Oh God. Please Joe, don‟t make me wait, Fuck, I need it.” Joe stood back giving his ass two more quick slaps. Charles‟ cock oozed a stream of pre-cum down his legs. Joe quickly leaned into him, caressed his thighs and hips. He took him by the shoulders and lifted him up so that the both stood upright. He whispered tenderly in his ear, “Too far, baby? Too rough? It‟s just fun…” Charles squealed with delight. “Sir, I‟ve been very bad, you should use your boy however you want.” Charles flung his hair back hitting Joe in the face, hoping he‟d take the hint that it‟d been a long time fantasy for him to be taken from behind, and have his lover pull his hair as he drove into him. He flung himself down onto the counter, out of his lover‟s reach. “Now boy, that wasn‟t nice.” Joe came from behind him, pensively wrapped his hand into the long tresses of Charles hair, bent over behind him pressing his cock into his aching hole. He whispered softly, “Do you like that boy?” He tugged gently on Charles hair as he pushed forward, impaling the young man on his cock. “Fuck!! Ohhhh… Goddd…. Fuck, yes!!” Charles screamed. He felt his lover pull him into him, raising him by his hair until he was again at his lover‟s level. He saw the handsome doctor lost in lust mercilessly pounding him again and again in the ass. Joe removed his hand from his lover‟s hair, carefully caressed the young man‟s face, kissing his neck. He whispered, “I love you, baby. I want you to marry

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me. I want to be your lover forever, not just today, always.” Charles gasped, the sexual tension in the room palpable, and he couldn‟t comprehend what he‟d just heard. In the same moment, he felt his lover‟s hand grasp his cock hard, as he felt Joe release his seed deep inside him. He felt himself tremble as the long overdue orgasm finally took him. He fell, spent on the counter, as Joe lay atop him, his chest heaving from the sexual tryst. “That was fucking intense…” Joe mumbled as he kissed Charles‟ neck. Charles rose, as Joe stood to collect himself. He leaned backward against the counter, his head still reeling from Joe‟s proposal. Surely he‟d just shouted it out in the height of passion. Surely he didn‟t mean it. Charles pensively asked, “Were you serious?” “Well, yes. Honestly I didn‟t intend to ask quite like that.” He laughed, clearing his throat nervously. “It kind of just slipped out.” “That‟s okay. I‟ve probably said stuff I didn‟t mean, at a time like that.” Charles offered. “No, Charles, you don‟t understand. I intended it to be a romantic moment, candlelight, roses, the whole sappy romantic scene. The kind of proposal you deserve, not while I was fucking you senseless. It kind of lacks, how can I put it… class. You deserved a better proposal.” Charles heart leapt with joy. He‟d never imagined having a partner forever,

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his heart pounded wildly. He couldn‟t think a connected thought. Finally he lunged toward Joe, jumping into his arms, wrapping his arms around his neck, suspended by the strong doctor‟s grasp. “Of course I‟ll marry you!”

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Chapter Fourteen

Joe sat quietly watching Charles pace in front of him. He had been doing so for the better part of twenty minutes. “Come here. Sit down. They‟ll be here soon enough Charles. You‟re „gonna wear out the grass.” “What if he hates me? What if she hates me?” “Faith already loves you, if she didn‟t this meeting wouldn‟t be happening. As seriously as I take my son‟s happiness, Faith takes it just as seriously. If she had any doubts about you when she met you, for one, she‟d have said so. Second, she knows that I love you. That doesn‟t come lightly.” “Did you tell her… you know?” “Yes, of course. That‟s why we decided it‟d be good for you two to meet kind of on neutral territory as it were. I know Braden will love you. I do.” Joe patted the seat next to him “Now, sit!” “Yes, sir.” Charles plopped down with an exaggerated pout. “If only you‟d listen to me like that all the time… ohhh boy!” “Well, sir…. I believe you did get me to listen, just this morning!” “You are a bad, bad boy Charles. You know me oh-too-well. We both know

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you are in charge in this relationship. You have me wrapped around your finger so far that if you told me to jump off a bridge, I‟d do it.” “Well, I did have this idea about bungee jumping on our honeymoon.” “Jesus, I wasn‟t serious about jumping off a bridge.” “Don‟t make promises you have no intention on keeping, big man.” Joe cut his eyes at the young man, knowing that he‟d been beaten, “Yes, sir. I forgot who was in charge.” Charles leaned into the doctor, who was nervously fidgeting, thinking of what type of horrors he‟d just talked himself into, and kissed him deeply and slowly. “Don‟t ever forget that, big man. You might be the doctor, but I‟m the judge. And what I say goes!” “Touché.” Suddenly a tiny pair of hands grabbed Joe‟s legs and jolted the pair. “Daddy!” “Braden.” The adorable young boy tackled his father with a vigor that surprised Charles. He kissed his father on the neck as he held him tightly. Joe gripped him tightly as Joe smiled, taking in his son‟s scent. He loved the way he smelled, the way he smiled -- he simply adored the boy. Braden‟s blond hair fell in ringlets around his face. His mother‟s family was German and Spaniards. His son had

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obviously taken his mother‟s genetics even though she had dark hair most of her family was fair, with blond hair and blue eyes. For a moment it struck him how similar Charles was in appearance to his son. To the casual observer, one would assume of the two men, Braden more than likely belonged to Charles. God how he hoped the two would find a connection. As much as he loved Charles, no bond, no connection was stronger than that with his son, and he wouldn‟t ever forsake that. Not even for Charles. “Braden, I‟d like to introduce you to someone. His name is Charles. Remember how we talked about how mommy and daddy don‟t live together, and how some people like boys, and some people like girls?” The little boy rolled his eyes, and hit himself in the head in a mock action of shock. “Duh, Dad, you told me that a thousand times. You like boys, okay.” Joe smiled broadly. “I know but I wanted to remind you that it‟s okay to like whoever you like. Do you still have the girlfriend at preschool?” The young boy frowned, again rolling his eyes expressively. “No.” Faith spoke up. “Joe that was last week. This week he likes a girl at the Y.M.C.A. swim class. Got a thing for girls in bikinis I think.” Suddenly without warning, Braden climbed from his father‟s lap and stood eye to eye with Charles on the bench. “Are you my daddy‟s boyfriend?” Charles coughed, and looked a bit like he was going to be sick, but managed.

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“Uh… yes, my name is Charles. I‟ve heard a lot about you. You must be Braden.” “Is that for me?” The young boy pointed to a large bag with a ribbon on top of it. “That‟s rude, young man!” His mother chastised. “It‟s okay. Yes it‟s for you. I heard your birthday was a few weeks ago, and I missed the party, so…. I thought I might bring you something now. Would that be okay?” “Yeah.” The boy‟s blue eyes sparkled with joy. Charles handed the large bag to the young boy who now stood waiting at his feet. “It‟s a sand castle set, for when you go to the beach.” “There‟s a sandbox here, silly!” The young boy reminded the handsome young man. “So there is. Would you like to go over there and build a sand castle now?” The young boy didn‟t respond he simply sprinted toward the sandbox, with bag in hand. “I‟ll take that as a yes.” Joe watched Charles crawl into the sandbox with Braden without hesitation. He looked at home with the adorable child. Faith smiled at Joe. “I don‟t know that I‟ve ever seen him take to someone as quickly. It‟s a little weird honestly. Kind of like they‟ve already met, or that they‟ve always known each other.”

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“Yeah, Braden is usually so, well, reserved until he gets to know people. But leave it to him to just drop the bomb right in the middle of the room, huh?” Joe laughed nervously. “It‟s his way. You might as well get used to it. For him, your being gay is no big deal.” “Yeah, I hope it doesn‟t cause problems later, though.” “I think he‟ll be up to the challenge. He‟d fight to the death for you, Joe, you know it.” “I know, I just hate that his life has to be harder for him, because of me.” “He has a good father, that‟s not something every child can say. As far as I can see it, our son is ahead of the game.” “You always were good to me.” Joe watched intently as the two interacted. He listened as the boisterous boy played in the sandbox. The conversation‟s ease surprised him. He‟d worried that Charles might find it difficult to be at ease, knowing how much was at stake with this meeting. It was “the elephant in the room.” As much as he loved Charles, if he and Braden weren‟t good together, nothing in this world could repair that damage. Then he heard something that made him drop the expensive cup of designer coffee he‟d brought to steel his nerves. The young boy with blond curls stopped digging for a moment in the

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sandbox. He looked at Charles intently for a moment, and then he said in a matterof-fact tone, “I saw you kiss my daddy.” All the blood drained from Charles‟ face. He looked as though he‟d seen a ghost. There was a long, excruciating pause that made Joe doubt the sanity of this meeting. He‟d never gone out of his way to shelter his son from his homosexuality, but he‟d also made it a point not to act in an overtly sexual way in front of him. As far as he knew Braden had never seen him kiss or even hug another man, since he‟d specifically avoided introducing him to any of his former lovers. He felt it was far more harmful to introduce someone to his son, only to have them leave his life without any cause relating to him. But the inevitable moment had come when he‟d have to deal with it. He rose as he wiped the remnants of coffee from his pant leg where he‟d dropped the Styrofoam container down his front. He stopped in his tracks when he heard Charles reply. “Well, Braden.” Charles continued to build the sand castle. “You know how when your mommy kisses you because you are scared, or when you get hurt, to make you feel better?” The young child resumed digging along with Charles, “Uh-huh.” Charles brushed back a long strand of wavy tresses to reveal his deep blue eyes. “Well your dad was worried that you might not like me, and since I love your dad, well, he wants you to be okay with me. I just kissed him so he‟d know that

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everything was going to be okay, and to tell him that I knew I was going to love you because you are his son. That‟s why I kissed your dad. Do you understand that?” “You love my daddy?” “Yes, very much. I hope I‟ll be around for a long, long time. If it‟s okay with you, that is. I know your daddy wants you to be happy. I want that too. I know your mommy and daddy both love you very much. I just hope that I‟ll be able to be your friend, and maybe get to help you make sandcastles again.” The young boy‟s eyes were wide with excitement. He smiled broadly. “I love my daddy, too.” The young boy wiped his hair from his eyes, in much the same way as Charles, and then he dumped his attempt at a sandcastle into a heap. He stood up, and proclaimed, “This sand doesn‟t stick right.” “Tell you what, next time I go to the beach, if your mom and dad are okay with it, maybe we could build some real sand castles.” Braden‟s eyes flashed with excitement, “Really? Charles, you‟re the best! I love you!” He grabbed the startled man around the neck nearly toppling him in the sandbox. “Hey, we‟ve gotta check with your mom and dad before we make any major travel plans, buddy.” Charles looked toward Joe; his eyes were wide with shock. Joe felt a lump in his throat. He sat slowly back down. The words from

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Charles hung heavily in the warm summer air. The young man hadn‟t known that Joe had heard the conversation. Suddenly he heard Faith digging in her purse. She extracted a lace handkerchief, and patted her eyes, maintaining her flawless complexion, while erasing the slow droplets of tears that had run down her face. Faith‟s expression quickly became deathly serious. “Joe, you better be serious about this man. He loves you. Our son likes him, a lot. If you have no intention of seeing this through, don‟t put that kind boy through it, or our son for that matter.” “Faith, I can‟t believe you‟d say that.” “Joe, you know you can be thoughtless and cold sometimes. If you don‟t love this man, you have no right to mess with his heart. He is a good man, Joe.” “Why do I feel like I‟m the one being tested here?” “Perhaps because you put yourself in this position.”

She tucked the

handkerchief away. “I told you I proposed to him, how much more serious do you want?” “I don‟t know. I‟m sorry, but you know I worry. There‟s something I need to talk to you about though at some point. Nothing concerning my feelings about Charles. I think he‟s wonderful. I think Charles will be a fine influence on Braden.” “Faith.” Joe turned toward the concerned woman. “I love you with all my heart, and I love Braden with every fiber of my being. I‟d sooner end my own life

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than to hurt either one of you. I know this is the right thing to do. Braden needs to know his father is capable of committing to something, to see his father be an example of the good in people. I‟ve hidden from him too long. I need to have him know I‟m a decent man, and I want him to know, and love Charles as much I do. “ “You don‟t deserve someone like Charles.” Faith‟s lip curled, like it did anytime she had a devilish thought. “I know I don‟t deserve him, but neither does anybody else, so I might as well have him for myself. Can I have a sip of your coffee, mine is kinda on the ground now.” He chuckled as he reached over and sipped her coffee. It was a cheap convenience store brew that had most likely been sitting for hours. “I see you still have no clue what real coffee is.” “It suits me just fine. Plain, simple. That‟s me.” “Faith, darling, you are many, many things, plain is certainly not one of them.” He chuckled as he raised the cup again to sip another taste of the syrup that she called coffee. “How‟s the sex?” Joe spat coffee across the bench. He choked nearly toppling himself off the bench. “Wh—what?” “You heard me. Is the sex with Charles good?” “Braden is gonna hear you, for God‟s sake, woman.”

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“They are over at the swings right now. Relax. Jesus, Joe, you‟d think I‟d asked you to do me right here on the bench.” Faith swept back her hair with a dramatic flair. “Y-Yes, it‟s fine.” “Just fine?” “Good God, woman! What do you want? Details?” “Don‟t be absurd. You should be ashamed!” “I should be ashamed?” Joe‟s flashed a look of exasperation at the undaunted woman. “Yes, you should.” She flashed a smile at him. “Joe, if the sex doesn‟t work, then the attraction won‟t be enough. He could be the most handsome, kind and brilliant man on the planet, but if the sex doesn‟t work, you won‟t be happy. You know I‟m telling you the truth.” “God, I hate it when you use logic on me. Yes, Faith…” Joe paused shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “I‟m not sure if it‟s because he challenges me mentally and spiritually or if it‟s just the chemistry, but I can honestly say I‟ve never had sex with a man that I connected with in the way I do Charles. It‟s a little scary. He has me hopelessly in his grip.” Faith laughed at his honesty. “Frankly, it‟s pretty obvious. I think Charles could talk you, Mr. Control, into about anything personally or sexually.”

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“You have a point, darling.” Joe caught the sight of Braden running headlong toward the couple, with Charles in toe. He held the young man tightly by the hand, nearly dragging him across the park. The blond boy ran excited into his father‟s arms, only now releasing Charles‟ hand. He panted wildly as he climbed up into Joe‟s lap. He leaned his head into his father‟s chest. His face was damp with perspiration. Joe breathed in the scent of his son. It was a comforting thing to feel each breath as he made it. He leaned in on his father. Joe knew for him, this was what life was about. All the awards, all the achievement wouldn‟t ever be enough. He could try to save the world, but it would never be enough. He could try to save every young boy that came into the program, but there would always be a “Henry.” The thought of the young man whose life had been snuffed out far too early made him choke back tears. He was so thankful that he held everything that meant anything to him at this moment in his arms. He hugged the young boy hard, holding him tightly. He kissed the damp forehead of his son. Suddenly Braden gasped. “Dad! You‟re gonna kill me!” “Oh, I‟m so sorry son.” The young boy shot a mischievous glance at his mother. “Can I go to the beach with Charles?” Charles eyes grew as wide as silver dollars. “Braden! I think maybe that

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should be something you should talk about later.” Faith‟s expression turned to one of displeasure, her brow furrowed deeply. Joe wondered what in the world the two had been discussing at the swing set. She pointed at her son. “Braden Demitri, you know better than to invite yourself somewhere you weren‟t asked to go. That is rude! Now apologize to Charles, Right now, young man.” Charles stammered. “It‟s kinda my fault. Don‟t be mad at him, I mentioned that if we went to the beach sometime maybe we could build sandcastles together. I should have asked before I mentioned it, ma'am. Please don‟t be upset with Braden. He‟s just repeating what he heard from me. I was out of line. I‟m so sorry.” Faith‟s expression quickly turned to one of bemused satisfaction. “You, my dear man, have nothing to be sorry for. I will, however, let you in on a little secret don‟t ever mention something to this little blond-haired devil if you don‟t want him to remember it. He has his father‟s steel-trap memory.” Joe‟s mind raced with the events as they unfolded before him. Suddenly a thought burst into his consciousness like a bolt of lightning. “Charles? Would you take Braden over there and get us all an Italian Ice?” “Would you like that?” Charles took the young boy‟s hand. “Actually, I like the popsicles but Dad always gets those other things.” The adorable boy‟s face was contorted in an obvious show of displeasure.

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“Well, then a popsicle it is! What kind?” Charles smiled nodding toward Joe and Faith. Joe turned back toward his female companion as he heard the conversation fading into the busy sounds of the suburban park. “Any kind I want?” The excited boy jumped up and down, and around Charles in circles as they continued toward the stand. Joe studied Faith‟s expression. He was very good at reading people, but for some reason that eluded him, she was now, and probably always would be an enigma to him. Finally he offered, “I‟m going to ask Charles to go with me in a few weeks to Jamaica, to set up plans to be married later this year. Would you consider coming along, and bringing Braden? I think it‟d be a good way for him to get to know Charles on a more personal level without having the stress of forced meetings, you know?” “I‟m not sure I‟m up to travel right now Joe, I‟ve been under the weather a bit recently.” A wave of displeasure shook Joe‟s thoughts. “Why haven‟t you mentioned this before now? You know you should take your health seriously. Have you seen a doctor? What does he say is going on?” “Jesus, Joe, you aren‟t my father, or even my husband, anymore, so give it a rest. I‟ll be fine. I‟ve just got to take it easy for a few weeks that‟s all.” Joe, still unconvinced that Faith was telling him everything decided to let it

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go for the moment. “A trip could be just what the doctor ordered then… I‟m just saying…” “Okay, you got me there. A trip to Jamaica certainly wouldn‟t be the most laborious thing I‟ve done recently. What the fuck! Yeah!” Joe nearly fell off the bench. “Faith! Such language!” He‟d never heard her use that word. The vilest thing he could remember her saying was the use of damn on occasion, for which she always apologized later. “My, aren‟t you becoming a woman of the world?” “Life is too short to worry about convention, or being polite always. I‟m so tired of always being… good!” Joe saw the happy young boy running back to them. He had popsicle juice running down his face, his shirt and smeared from ear to ear. He was in heaven. Joe laughed at the sight of the usually immaculate child in his “natural” state. Faith would certainly have him in the tub before his feet hit the door of their home. He felt Charles‟ hand reach around him from behind, patting him on the chest. He could feel Charles body against his back as he rested his head on his lover. Charles bent down and whispered into Joe‟s ear. “You have an amazing son, just like his dad.” Joe pulled Charles downward toward him, kissing him lovingly. Albeit a short kiss, it was certainly meant to convey his love. “You‟re pretty amazing

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yourself.” Joe laughed as he watched Faith try in vain to clean up the mess Braden had wrought with the orange, frozen treat. “I think its decided, guys! Road trip!” “What are you talking about?” Charles gave Joe a puzzled glare. “We are all going to Jamaica in two weeks so we can pick out the exact beach where we are gonna get married, big man.” “Did you say beach?” Braden‟s eyes grew wild with excitement. “That would be correct.” Faith smiled at the excited child now dancing in place. “Do I get to go?” Braden asked. “Nah, I think it‟s better for just the grown-ups to go, don‟t you think, Mom?” “Yeah, it‟d probably be boring for Braden.” Faith winked knowingly at Charles. “Then I‟m staying with Charles!” Braden crossed his arms and stamped his foot. Charles gave a sideways glance at Joe before giving a mock performance of shock. “If Braden doesn‟t get to go then I‟m certainly not going either. You and I will just find something else to do while those boring old people do whatever it is they do!” Joe sighed hard in a show of concession. “Fine, we‟ll all go. But don‟t say you

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weren‟t warned, young man!” Joe patted the wide-eyed child on the mass of golden curls . “Do me and Charles really get to go, too?” Braden stood transfixed in Joe‟s gaze, as if the world had ceased movement until an answer was given. “Of course, your mom or I wouldn‟t leave you out of something as important as this. You come here, big man!” He almost hated that he‟d toyed with the young child, Braden had looked so fallen when he thought he wasn‟t being included. Joe had simply wanted to give them something to talk about. Braden ran toward him excited. Joe reached out to hug the happy child but he ran right past him toward Charles, and leapt up into the young man‟s arms. Charles hoisted him up to eye level, tossing the long mane of blond hair from his face. The two were now eye to eye. “Did you hear? We get to go. Are we gonna build a sandcastle in Jerm… Jamic…. Wherever it is?” “The biggest Jer-maica has ever seen.” Charles laughed with the young boy. Joe felt an unfamiliar ease settle on his soul. Charles had touched his son in a way he‟d never expected. Charles was young, but in some ways seemed so much wiser than he. Maybe he‟d allowed his education to cloud common sense. Whatever it was, he was thankful that he‟d allowed Charles to begin to melt the iceberg that was his heart.

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Chapter Fifteen

Charles lay quietly on the leather sofa in Joe‟s condominium. He‟d arrived late, as usual to meet his fiancé for dinner. He‟d simply found a note on the counter that Joe had been called away for an emergency meeting with Brandon at the center. His mind reeled thinking of the endless possibilities. He hoped that nothing really bad had happened. Joe couldn‟t handle loosing another kid. It would kill him. Faith had confided that one of the things that Joe never seemed to do, was open his heart completely to anyone. He‟d done that though with these boys. He‟d opened his heart in a way that Charles was fairly sure Joe didn‟t even understand. As he lay on the couch, pondering the “what-ifs” he realized the air conditioning wasn‟t working. He was growing more uncomfortable the longer he stayed. He rose, and opened the large sliding doors that opened onto the cityscape that was Atlanta. Charles never grew tired of the amazing view from the condo. As he allowed the summer breeze to waft into the room, he lifted his shirt off, allowing the wind to cool his body. He‟d been working so hard, and trying to please so many people he was simply exhausted. He quickly unbuttoned his 501 Levis and allowed them to drop to the floor. He stood naked his body glistened, as

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the southern wind cooled his naked flesh. Thoughts of Braden, and his mother bombarded his mind as he considered the past week. He‟d not even known Joe had a son, until now. All of the sudden, he was a father, and Charles felt he barely knew the doctor. The endless torrent of thought caused him to finally succumb to the fatigue that had enveloped his body. He walked back to the couch and lazily stretched across the length of the leather sofa. He brushed away a long strand of blond hair that covered his face as he drifted fitfully into a deep sleep. Charles lay motionless, half asleep and half awake. His eyes were still closed, however he felt strangely awake. He was lying on his stomach, his legs stretched across the arm of the sofa. He felt the fine hairs of his thighs come alive with sensation. A gentle caress of his body was so subtle he was unable to distinguish it from a dream. His mind allowed him to enjoy the erotic moments without questioning their source. This was simply an enjoyable daydream. While enjoying the gentle caresses, Charles breathed in the signature scent that he associated with Joe. With that realization, he sleepily opened his eyes to see his lover, standing naked, and fully erect over him. Joe‟s fingers were gently exploring his body. The odd thing to Charles was that, as highly erotic as these touches were, they were specifically not sexual. They were tender, almost nonexistent. His

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body shivered from excitement. He mumbled as he closed his eyes again. “Sorry, I was just so tired.” “Mind if I join you?” the doctor asked. Charles smiled wickedly. “Well after you‟ve gotten me all hot and bothered, it would be sinful to just leave!” “Can‟t have that, now can we?” Joe leaned in and slowly began to kiss Charles‟ body. He worked his way slowly, almost excruciatingly up the young man‟s body. The doctor paused as he kissed his way up the well defined mounds of Charles bubble butt. He lapped sexily on the moist, warm flesh that was in the small of his back. He felt Joe climb between his thighs, and part his ass with his strong, forceful hands. His eyes remained closed as he savored each and every move his lover made. Suddenly, in a break from the slow pace he‟d adopted, Joe plunged his tongue into his tight sphincter. Charles‟ eyes flew open with the intense pleasure of his actions. He moaned loudly. “Oh fuck!” He felt Joe forcefully pull him down into him, impaling him on his tongue, He writhed with passion. “Turn over, Charles.” Joe‟s voice was deep, and very sexual in tone. It was a request that the young man was more than willing to oblige. “Yes, sir…” Charles moaned as he flipped over.

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Joe climbed in between his lover‟s thighs, kissing his way up toward his mouth. He took his hand and placed one finger on his lips. “No talking tonight, that‟s the rule. No talking, no complaints. Just enjoy.” “Isn‟t that three rules?” Joe placed his finger again across his mouth, this time making no comment. Charles mouth turned up in a crooked smile. He was willing to keep silent if this was the reward for his silence. Charles felt his body shake as the doctor slowly worked his way toward his growing erection. His mind reeled, still recovering from the dream state he‟d found himself in. He moaned quietly, unwilling to break the “rules”. In a slow and deliberate move, Joe ran his tongue down the length of his shaft, stopping momentarily to allow his hot breath to warm his balls. He slowly kissed the insides of the young man‟s quivering thighs. Again he ran the tip of his tongue down the lower area below Charles‟ balls. The doctor nibbled gently between caresses on the insides of Charles‟ thighs. The feeling was exquisite. Charles felt his cock strain hard against his body. He wanted to beg his lover to fuck him now, but he was so enraptured in the moment, he didn‟t want to slow the momentum. As he lay there, his body felt as though it were one sexual organism. Again, Joe plunged his tongue into Charles hole. God, how Charles wanted

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to touch himself. He reached out to massage his cock, Joe intercepted his attempt, pinning his hands beside him. His cock sprang forward as he felt the warmth invade his loins. He threw his head backward, as his lover‟s grasp on his wrists grew tighter. Joe whispered as he moved once again toward his face, nibbling on his nipples “Do you want it? Do you want my cock? Don‟t forget no talking now…” God how do I make him fuck me? I want it so bad. What does he want from me? In a final desperate effort, Charles waited on his lover to kiss his lips gently; he thrust his tongue deep inside Joe‟s mouth. His breath was hot, and sexual. He moaned as he pushed his cock toward Charles‟ desperate hole. He could feel his own cock pressed hard against Joe‟s hard stomach. His body ached for release. Joe pressed the tip of his cock at the entrance of Charles ass. He pressed just hard enough to enter him, just enough to make him want more. He felt Joe nibble on his nipples as he reared back to watch as he slowly lowered himself into Charles‟ body. Charles shivered each time his lover pushed another portion of his throbbing cock inside him. Finally Joe lay back against him, and kissed Charles, who was now drunk with sexual tension. Charles melted as Joe kissed him deeply, all the while lowering himself until Joe impaled Charles completely on his cock. Charles sighed happily. Joe lay across him, slowly grinding his cock against his lover‟s body. He could feel the doctor‟s

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cock expanding inside him as he neared orgasm. Joe stopped movement, and lay against him, his cock throbbed inside Charles. And all the while Charles‟ cock lay so hypersensitive that the heat from his lover‟s body made him shudder, unable to stop the flood of cum that threatened his resolve. He felt his body release a steady flow of hot sticky fluid between them. Suddenly Joe kissed him again as he released his own fluids deep inside Charles‟ body. The doctor collapsed in a heap on top of him “Now that‟s what I call waking up from a wet dream!” Charles smirked at the exhausted man on top of him. “I saw you there, naked, looking too good for words, and I couldn‟t help myself. I even put off telling you the news just so we could take care of business first.” Joe rose, lifting himself off the couch. Charles took in the sight of the muscular form as he stood massive and naked over him. “God, you are amazing.” His words were sincere and yet he felt a bit ashamed of the near worship he had for this kind, strong, handsome man. “Charles, I am what I am today because of the people in my life that care for me. Your love has made me a better man than I ever thought possible. Someday I might have some small portion of the kindness and goodness I see every moment I am with you.”

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Suddenly Joe‟s reflective words gave way to a question. Charles jumped up, sitting bolt upright on the couch. “Wait a second, what news?” “I was wondering when you‟d remember that.” “Well, Dr. Demitri the last time you whispered sweet nothings in my ear, you proposed.” “Yeah, that is true.” Joe laughed “So spill! What is the news?” Charles‟ mind raced with excitement. “Brandon and I made some plans, I hope you won‟t be mad, it was kind of a last minute thing.” “I‟m almost afraid to ask. But what plans?” “Well, Faith, Brandon, Braden, and you and I are going to scout out a venue for the wedding. A pre-emptive trip so to speak.” Joe nervously shifted his feet. “Jamaica?” “Yeah, that‟s the plan. I wanted Brandon to come to help make sure I don‟t forget any questions. And I hope you won‟t mind, but I thought Braden could use a little more interaction with you, to get to know you a bit better. “ “I can‟t believe you‟d have to ask me that. That is the sweetest child I believe I‟ve ever encountered. I‟d love to spend some more time with him.” “We are talking about Braden, little blond kid, curly hair, blue eyes? The same kid that single-handed managed to have this very condo in ruins within

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twenty minutes of his arrival the other day?” “Don‟t be an ass.” Charles furrowed his brow. “I‟d rather go with Braden than with you, big man. You are simply getting too big for your britches!” “Well, I suppose I could stay at home.” Joe drew in a deep breath, showing his exasperation. “When are you talking about?” Charles scratched his head. “Tomorrow.” “Are you nuts? Is Faith okay with this?” “Charles, Faith adores you. That is the simple truth. The fact that Braden has taken to you, has only served to reinforce her opinion of you. “ “Tomorrow? Isn‟t that a little soon?” “Since we‟ve decided the ceremony should be at Christmas, then no, I don‟t think so. We need to tie up some loose ends now. You know how I hate to have things be so unorganized.” Charles smiled. “Yeah, if you could you‟d schedule your funeral too.” “Ok, smart ass. But I want this to be special, so I want you to have the opportunity to make this as special as it should be. That‟s why Brandon and I decided to take advantage of the slow time at work, that‟s all. The center is pretty quiet right now, so the timing is perfect.” Charles reflected on the whirlwind of information. A nagging question still

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ate at him. Finally he decided to ask even if it angered Joe. “I know when regular people do this, they have like attendants and such, but I was just wondering…” Charles felt cautious, like that of a child asking permission. “Hold on, for just one moment, there is nothing “irregular” about either of us. I think you should rephrase that.” Joe‟s expression grew harsh. Charles knew he didn‟t like it when Charles drew attention to the obvious differences between their relationship and a traditional heterosexual relationship. Charles was in uncharted territory and worried that he‟d somehow upset someone with a social mis-step. “Okay, okay, I just really was wondering if we would have people to stand with us… You know kinda like a best man or best woman?” Joe laughed out loud. “Don‟t make fun of me.” Joe‟s laughter made Charles very uncomfortable he hated being the brunt of a joke, especially one that involved the people he cared about. “I‟m sorry, baby!” Joe grabbed him and gave him a reassuring hug. “I wasn‟t making fun, I swear! I just thought it was so sweet. I mean a best woman. You have to admit it is funny.” “No I don‟t” Charles stood resolute. His anger began to grow. Joe stepped back. “I‟m sorry, Charles. This is obviously something you‟ve

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been thinking a lot about. Did you have someone in mind?” “I‟m not sure I want to be in any kind of ceremony in which I have to promise to be nice to you!” Charles allowed a small grin to penetrate his angered disposition. “Oh, baby, you better not be nice. I want you to be bad!” Joe gave him a sultry look, followed by a quick pat on the ass. A smile escaped Charles‟ lips as he gave a mock look of anger. “I‟m trying to be mad right now!” “Okay, I‟m sorry. Seriously did you have something in mind?” “I didn‟t know if Daniel would be mad if I had Brandon stand with me.” “Why on earth would he be mad?” “Well, I mean they are both our friends. I just don‟t like hurting people‟s feelings, that‟s all. I just am closer to Brandon than Daniel.” Charles looked downward, afraid he seemed to be acting childish. “Have you asked Brandon?” Joe asked “I didn‟t want to do anything till I knew if it was okay with you.” “Of course, it‟s fine with me. Besides, you don‟t need my permission to do anything, but I think it‟s a fine idea. But you mentioned a „best woman‟ did you want someone else?” Joe shot him a puzzled glance. Charles sighed deeply. “I thought about asking Faith. I mean she‟s been so

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sweet and all, but Brandon‟s really my best friend and I don‟t know what to do.” He plopped down hard onto the leather sofa. Joe sat down beside him, and caressed his arm. “I have to admit this is the first time I‟ve ever had this serious of a conversation in the nude.” His laugh filled the room. “It is a little odd.” Charles smirked. “Well, if you don‟t think it‟d be too odd, I could have Faith stand with me.” Joe gave a reflective glance. “Really?” Charles heart leapt. “Yes, really. I‟m sure she‟d love it. She loves any chance to prove that you‟re a good influence on me. I hear it all the time. Joseph Dean, don’t let this man get away. He’s too good for you. Be good to Charles.” “Don‟t be ridiculous.” Charles chastised. “I‟m dead serious.” “She is just screwing with you.” Charles smiled. “Maybe so, but she‟s very serious about liking you. She‟s talked of nothing else since she met you.” “There is one other thing. How do you think Braden is going to take this?” “Are you kidding? Braden thinks you‟re a super-hero. Faith says that she‟s beginning to hear your name in her sleep. Every sentence starts with Did you know

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Charles…” “It‟s not hard to love a kid that cute.” Charles smiled. “Well, the feeling is obviously mutual.” “So have you guys told him? About us, the ceremony I mean?” Charles breathed in deeply, hoping that Joe had already resolved that obstacle. “No, I thought we‟d do that in just a few when Faith drops Braden off. She has some kind of a doctor‟s appointment; I told her she could leave him with you. I hope that‟s okay.” Charles stood quickly. He slapped Joe hard across the naked shoulder. “In case you haven‟t noticed, asshole, were both naked! I don‟t think that‟s hardly appropriate.” “Good point. Wanna take a shower?” Joe stood kissing Charles on the neck. “We most certainly don‟t have time for that!” “Maybe just a quickie?” Joe shot him a mischievous glance. “Not a chance!” Charles ran towards the stairs to grab a quick shower.

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Chapter Sixteen

As he hurried toward the bathroom, Charles heard Joe whistling a tune as he dressed in the bedroom. The scalding waters were a welcome friend as Charles quickly washed, trying not to allow his mind to wander too far in the future. What if Braden cried? What if he hates me…. The endless torrent of questions swirled, threatening to cause him to pass out. He felt the shower stall spinning as he grabbed the towel rack for support. He had to get it together. His shoulder made a loud thud as he fell against the tiled wall. God how he hoped this went well. “Is everything okay in there?” Joe‟s nonchalant tone was amazing to Charles. He opened the door, to be greeted by a smiling, impeccably dressed man offering him a towel. “How the hell can you be so calm?” Charles dried himself as he ran anxiously toward the closet. Suddenly he realized he wasn‟t at home. His clothes weren‟t here. “Fuck!” he shouted. Suddenly the realization of the situation hit him. What if Braden had been here? How good a role model was he for anyone? He‟d just let a big one fly. He was a giant perv! Charles sank down to the floor in the open closet. “You need to just forget me. I‟m a horrible influence on your son. He‟d be better off with Charles Manson as

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a role model than me. I just said the “F” word!” “And?” Joe scratched his head puzzled. “And that‟s not the kind of thing a little kid needs to hear!” “And Braden didn‟t hear. Unless he has some sort of super hearing, like Spiderman or something… If he does, we‟re all going to hell!” Joe laughed. “I‟m serious! I hate it when you make fun of me.” Joe stood outside the closet, with a puzzled gaze. “I‟m not now, nor have I been making fun of you. I understand your concern, but it‟s not like Braden is around you twenty-four-seven. Besides, it is a fact that parents fuck up. That‟s the facts. The reality of it is that we all make mistakes, our kid‟s see them, but it‟s how you rectify those mistakes that makes you a good parent or not.” “I‟m not a parent.” Charles looked downward. He‟d tried to deny the frustration, and outright envy he had knowing Joe experienced something he truly longed for yet would never achieve. He‟d never be a father. Joe had that. How could he understand how badly that hurt him? He quickly wiped the trace of a tear from his face as he stood, still naked in the closet. “Charles, when you marry me, like it or not, you are a parent. When you become part of my life, you are part of Braden‟s life. That is why I didn‟t tell you about him until I knew I never wanted to live without you. I could handle having my heart broken, but not his. You are a special man. You make me a better father.

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You are going to be a parent, Charles.” Charles stood facing Joe the reality of what he‟d said began to sink in. He couldn‟t think clearly. Finally the flood of tears that he‟d been holding back for months wouldn‟t be held back. He fell into Joe‟s chest sobbing. “What kind of parent will I make if I can‟t even find something to wear?” “I‟m pretty sure we can find something around here you can wear. While we‟re on the subject I think you should move in here.” “Can I take one major life crisis at a time?” Charles looked up at his lover‟s face. Joe looked like an angel to him now. He seemed to always know when to be strong. It was a virtue Charles envied. He seemed to be at odds with his emotions always. “Certainly.” Joe tossed him a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. “Here, you go. Now you won‟t have to be nude.” Charles stepped into the jeans quickly. As he pulled the tee shirt over his head, he yelled to Joe who was headed for the top of the stairs. “I still say you‟re an asshole.” “Touché, young man, Touché.” Before he got the opportunity to shout another comment at Joe, he heard the doorbell ring, followed by the sound of little feet padding across the tiled floor in the condominium.

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“Anybody home?” A bright chipper female voice called. Charles stood at the top of the spiral staircase that looked down on the open living area of the condo. Faith stood peering through the door, as Joe walked across the room toward the door. Suddenly a shout from the curly haired boy filled the room. “Daddy!” Braden charged his father full steam. He toppled the large Italian man. Joe grinned broadly as he lay on his back with the young boy now lying prone across him, arms extended, hugging his father as hard as he could. “Hey buddy, I‟ve missed you the last few days. I‟m so glad you get to visit for a while.” Joe kissed Braden on the forehead, brushing back a stray lock of blond curls from in front of his eyes. Faith pulled the door behind her closed. Charles stood silently at the top of the stairs, taking in the scene. He felt like an outsider watching a “real” family. His heart sank as he considered again his lack of skills where it came to raising children. Even though he knew he wouldn‟t really be “raising” Braden, the question still remained, would he be a hindrance or a help. Suddenly Braden stood up beside his father. “Where‟s Mr. Charles? I thought he‟d be here.” The young boy‟s lower lip protruded his disappointment obvious. Joe sat up, mussing the young boy‟s hair. “I think he‟d be okay with just

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Charles. I know we‟ve always told you to call people Mr., or Ms. But Charles is kind of special, so it‟s okay if you call him Charles.” “I love Charles. He‟s my friend.” Braden shouted. The words rang loud inside the cavernous room with a twenty-foot vaulted ceiling that opened to the upstairs. Charles felt a lump in his throat. A feeling of warmth and love permeated his soul. This young boy really did love him. He hadn‟t been told to say that; he meant it. Charles fought the need to cry. He steeled his spine and shouted in his most playful tone, “I thought I was going to get to make sandcastles with someone tomorrow, but since Braden didn‟t come, I guess we‟ll have to find somebody else to go to Jamaica with us and make sandcastles, huh?” Braden put his hands on his hips as Charles descended the stairs pretending to look around the room for the missing child. “I‟m here! I‟m gonna go with you, Mr… uh Charles.” “So you are! Whew…” Charles wiped his forehead in an exaggerated movement. “Now I can make sandcastles after all!” He was greeted at the bottom of the stairs when the boisterous young boy leapt into his open arms. “Besides, your daddy makes terrible sandcastles anyhow. I need somebody with talent to help me build the biggest and best sandcastle ever!”

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whispered loudly into Charles ear. “Don‟t tell daddy but his sandcastles always fall down. You build way cooler sandcastles.” Joe smiled as the young boy draped his arms around Charles neck. The pair moved toward the kitchen area. Joe entered before him and Braden. Faith put her hand on Charles shoulder. He hadn‟t noticed before but her color was very pale. She looked very tired. It worried him, but he didn‟t want to press where he wasn‟t welcome, especially with Braden present. He wondered though if there was something more serious going on than the bronchitis that was the cause of the many trips Faith had made to the doctor recently. She‟d been to the doctor three times in as many months. The five of them, along with Brandon were set to go to Jamaica tomorrow morning. “Listen guys, I‟ve gotta go. I‟m late already.” She leaned in and gave Braden a peck over Charles‟ shoulder. The young boy had his head resting on Charles‟ hair. “You mind your manners and listen to Daddy and Charles ok?” “Okay, Mom.” Braden puckered up and gave her a quick kiss before returning his head to Charles‟ shoulder. Faith paused for a moment then whispered in Charles ear, “Take care of my baby.” Charles smiled at her, but wondered why she‟d say something like that. He

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smiled as he rubbed Braden‟s back the young boy‟s curls nestled in the crook of his neck. An odd feeling shook his consciousness, an odd combination of the fierce need to protect this little life, as well as an almost stifling love for the child. It weighed heavily on his heart. It was a feeling he was unfamiliar with but it somehow seemed strangely natural to him. This wasn‟t his child, he knew it, but the more he spent time with him, the more intolerable a life without this tiny bundle of energy in it seemed. He hugged the young boy hard. “You know I will.” Charles smiled. “I‟m gonna hold you to that.” Faith‟s hand followed his arm, eventually dropping off at his elbow as she quietly left the room. Charles turned to see her eyes were deep wells of emotion. Something was wrong but he didn‟t know what. “Hey buddy!” Joe shouted, “You packed and ready to go?” “Uh-huh „cept…” Braden wiggled out of Charles‟ grasp. He trod sullenly toward the little suitcase that Faith had brought with him. “My bucket broke.” His lip protruded sadly as he retrieved the broken red sand bucket. “Tell you what, big guy, we‟ll buy a new one in Jamaica. What d‟ya think?” Charles knelt to the level of the little boy holding the offending object. Braden‟s eyes lit with excitement. “You aren‟t mad? I didn‟t mean to break it honest, Charles.” Charles heart broke seeing the concern in Braden‟s eyes. “Of course I‟m not

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mad! It was just a defective bucket, that‟s all. You know imported trash. We‟ll get a good bucket when we get to Jamaica. You wait and see!” Braden gripped Charles tightly around the neck. “I love you Charles.” Charles swallowed deeply. “I love you, baby. You are my little man you know that?” “Will you go away if my Daddy makes you mad?” Braden stood back from Charles. The serious tone of the question made him pause. Joe intercepted the remark. “What would make you ask that?” “Well, my friend Celeste‟s daddy got married, and he wasn‟t nice and now they are divor… something, and his daddy made her go away and now Celeste is sad because she liked her. Are you gonna make Charles go away, Daddy? I like Charles. I don‟t want him to go away.” Charles mind was reeling. God, what big questions from such a tiny person. Braden was very mature for five years old. Such a lot for a little heart to bear. Charles looked helplessly at Joe for some sort of answer. He knew that nothing he said would resolve the fear that Braden had expressed. “For starters, Celeste‟s dad, I‟m sure is a good man. And I don‟t know what happened with his wife. The one thing I can tell you is that nothing would ever change the way I feel about you, or the way Charles feels about you. Right, Charles?”

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“Braden,” Charles offered, “I love your daddy more than anything, but you know what?” “What?” Braden asked, now anxiously awaiting the response. “I love you in a way that‟s different than I love your daddy. If your daddy hurt me, I might not feel the same way I do now. But you know there‟s nothing in this world that would keep me from spending time with you, ever. I love you more than I‟ve ever loved anybody. Since I met you my life has changed. Every day I try to be a better man, so you will be proud of me. Do you understand, Braden?” “Do I have to call you Charles forever?” “You can call me whatever you want sweetheart.” “I like Daddy Charles. „Cause you and Daddy both love me whole lots right?” Braden‟s eyes were cautious, but questioning. “If your daddy doesn‟t mind, I‟d be honored, but that‟s up to Dad and Mom, okay?” Charles breathed slowly trying to stifle the pride he felt. He wanted to scoop up the child and squeeze him tightly. He‟d never considered falling so helplessly in love with this precious boy. “I think I can speak for me and Mom, it would be fine if you wanna call him Daddy Charles.” Charles smiled broadly as he hugged the young boy. His heart swelled with an unfamiliar feeling of pride. He‟d only known this boy for a short time, but he

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didn‟t know how he‟d ever existed before he‟d met him. He was a lucky, lucky man.

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Chapter Seventeen

A long night of restlessness left Faith feeling tired and emotionally drained. She‟d left Braden with his father and Charles to get ready for the trip they‟d all planned to take together. She knew it was risky but she had to make the trip. There simply would be no other time to find out whether she could trust Charles, whether he was someone who could raise her… She couldn‟t finish the thought. The finality of it was too intense. Faith patiently thumbed through the hopelessly out of date magazine that she‟d picked up, hoping to dull the sense of desperation she felt. The antiseptic odor of the doctor‟s office was strangely comforting to her. Maybe there was some sort of good news today. She‟d certainly had her fill of bad news recently. “Viral Cardio Myopathy” it sounded so vague and harmless. The diagnosis however was far from either. The doctor had given her little hope that she‟d live to see next year, much less to see her son grow to be a man. She felt the torrent of tears that‟d been threatening to surface since the doctor had given her the diagnosis. Faith remembered the fateful day that forever changed her life. She‟d simply been feeling tired. She thought it was a passing thing, the flu or some other minor

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ailment. Braden had just finished dinner, and was rattling on about how much fun he‟d had with Charles. She‟d picked him up to hug him and felt faint. She‟d barely set him down when the room seemed to grow very dark. The next thing she remembered there were paramedics checking her vital signs and Braden stood worried beside her. Her brave little man had remembered what she‟d told him about 911. He‟d truly saved her life. In reality Braden had saved her life in more ways than he‟d ever know. After the end of what she‟d hoped would be the fairy tale marriage to Joe, his beautiful smile, and strangely enough, the strong common spirit that he shared with his father, were the only things that had allowed her to move on, and to try to find happiness without Joe. Faith smiled a bit as she thought about how much Braden loved Charles. It was an odd feeling. She‟d found respect for the new young man in Joe‟s life. She was thankful that her ex-husband‟s lover was someone whom she liked. It‟d always been a fear that Joe‟s penchant for seeking out the most needful of society, and somehow attaching himself, would manifest itself in a permanent cause of worry for her. Faith still loved Joe. She knew that he loved her. He‟d never stopped. She was the one who‟d ended the marriage after only a year. She simply couldn‟t accept the limitations that his “attractions” brought to their marriage. She would have probably tried longer except that her pregnancy had made the

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situation at crisis mode. She ended it, knowing full well if Joe had known she was pregnant, he‟d have never left her. It wouldn‟t have been fair to him, to her, or to their son. It was the one thing in her life that still gave her angst. She‟d always hated that she‟d deceived him to allow the marriage to end. It was for the best and she knew it. “Faith Demitri.” a woman clad in all white called her name. She rose thankful her train of thought had been interrupted. She didn‟t like being so introspective right now. She had enough to worry about without going over the endless possibilities now that she‟d have to trust another person to raise her son. Faith breathed deeply, wiping the evidence of her fear from her eyes, thankful she‟d opted not to wear makeup this morning. “This way.” She followed the woman in white to the doctor‟s cramped office. His desk was a cluttered mess of text books, endless mounds of paper, and stacks of charts. She sat in the leather chair across from the doctor‟s desk. “Doctor Miller will be in a moment.” “Thank you.” Faith managed to whisper. The strange thing about finding out that her heart was failing was her reaction to it. She wasn‟t afraid of dying. Her strong heritage with the church afforded her the knowledge that in death, there is comfort in knowing you aren‟t alone. The only thing that plagued her mind was the knowledge that she wouldn‟t live to see her son grow to be a man. She knew

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she‟d have to trust Joe to make the right decisions for Braden. Joe is a good man. He had a good heart. If it were up to him, they would still be together. He was willing to give up his sexual happiness and accept a life of compromise out of his love for her, and for Braden. It‟d been she who refused to accept less than what she believed they both deserved. A quick laugh escaped her lips. “I guess the joke was on me huh?” “Pardon?” The doctor‟s deep baritone voice startled her as he closed the door. “Sorry, Doctor Miller, private joke.” She laughed nervously “I‟m glad to see your spirits up. I have some difficult news though. The progression of your condition is rapidly deteriorating. The only real hope we have now is a transplant. Unfortunately with the addition of your weakened condition, right now, we don‟t believe you are a candidate for transplant. If you continue on the meds, it‟s possible that your condition might improve and we can put you on the donor list.” “Doctor, I‟m not making any plans here. I know what‟s going on. Frankly, I‟m not sure why I even came here other than to simply allow myself to hear the words for myself. I suppose I needed to have what I knew in my heart…” the words trailed off as she considered the irony of the statement. She began to cry. “I‟m so sorry, doctor.” Faith wept the torrents of emotion that she‟d held at

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bay for these past months, now more than she could bear. She‟d been strong for Braden, strong for Joe, but now she felt so alone, here in this doctor‟s office, weeping like a child. She felt so foolish. Suddenly she felt a strong hand on hers. She saw through her tears that the doctor had taken her hand and was seated beside her. “Doctor Miller…” “Mike. Faith, we‟ve known each other for thirty years. We grew up together. This is the hardest…” his words were choked as he tried to console her. “I feel like such an impotent fool. You are one of my dearest friends, and now I‟m sitting idly by while you…” Faith stood and embraced the handsome doctor. He‟d truly been a friend as much as a doctor to her. He shook as he wept with her. “I‟m so sorry, Faith. Of course, you know I‟m breaking like every rule in the book here. Honestly, I don‟t know if I can remain objective here. I really want you to see someone else.” “Why? So he can tell me the same thing?” “No, so he can appropriately handle your care. And so I can stop this objectivity bullshit and be there for you. That‟s why. I want to be there for you. I‟ve never stopped caring for you, Faith.” “Mike, there‟s no future with me. In case you haven‟t heard, I‟m dying. And you know I don‟t like it when you curse.”

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“Stop it. And I‟m sorry, I can‟t help it. I‟m angry.” “Well, am I wrong?” “Faith, don‟t be difficult here.” “I have to go, Mike, I have a plane to catch.” “Are you out of your fucking mind?” Faith pushed the handsome doctor backward, slapping him on the shoulder. “Don‟t use that kind of language with me! You know that‟s unacceptable.” “You make me want to curse sometimes, Faith. What would possess you to get on a plane in your condition?” The doctor‟s brow was deeply furrowed, his arms folded in resolution. “My son‟s future. That‟s what. This is not up for discussion, Mike. I‟m going. That‟s final.” “When for Christ‟s sake?” “Mike!” “When?” “In about two hours.” “Is there anything I can do to change your mind?” “Nothing.” “Please, at least take this.” The doctor handed her an envelope containing what she presumed were her medical records. “This will at least allow a physician

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to treat you based on fact, not questions.” “Thank you, Mike. You‟ve truly been a friend to me.” Faith offered her hand to the tall man, still reeling from the exchange. She turned quickly to leave before she had anymore reservations about what she knew must be done. The ride to the airport from the doctor‟s office gave Faith time to reflect on the exchange, on her condition, and on how to approach the subject with Joe. She knew she owed it to him to tell him the truth, but she couldn‟t face the reaction she knew he‟d have. He‟d blame himself for not realizing something was wrong sooner. It was the curse of his training. He always wanted to “save the world.” The cab driver was spewing a line of obscenities as he wielded the cab down the busy Atlanta streets. Faith winced at the unpleasant man driving her toward an unknown future. With a screech, he pulled the cab to a halt in front of the Atlanta Airport. “We‟re here, lady.” Faith reached in her purse, pulled out a twenty. “Could you help me with my bag, I‟m not feeling very well.” “Yeah lady, it‟s your dime.” Faith rolled her eyes with frustration. She hated depending on this rude, obnoxious man for anything, but unfortunately it was beyond her to handle the heavy suitcase today. As she exited the cab, she noticed several cars up, Joe, Charles and Braden

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crossing the busy airport terminal crosswalk, toward the entrance. Joe was tall, handsome, tan, and confident as always. By his side Charles, who was a striking young man. Faith had come to appreciate him as a kind, giving young man, but honestly hadn‟t ever truly paid attention to how attractive he was. His long blond hair cascaded toward his shoulders in waves. He wore torn blue jeans and a close fitting tee shirt. Joe had his hand around Charles waist, and Braden on his hip. Behind them, Brandon, a long time friend of Joe‟s was directing an airport attendant with a large cart full of suitcases. Brandon was impeccably dressed. He wore a linen suit, with a lavender silk shirt underneath. His wild locks of pale hair framed a nearly perfect complexion, and teeth that were almost too perfect. Faith wondered where Daniel, Brandon‟s partner was. She‟d assumed he‟d follow on the trip. “Fuck me! That‟s fucking disgusting.” The smelly cab driver‟s words shook her from her musings. “Excuse me?” Faith said, in a tone designed to shut down whatever barrage of obscenities he‟d planned on spewing. “Those fucking fags over there with that little kid. That‟s disgusting.” Unwilling to make a public scene, but equally unwilling to accept the help of the bigoted jerk that was pulling her suitcase, she jerked the suitcase out of his hand. “Never mind. I‟ll do it myself!”

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“Suit yourself, lady.” The cab driver climbed back into the cab without pausing. “Jerk.” Faith frowned deeply. She despised the ignorance of small minded people. If nothing else had come of her short lived marriage to Joe, she‟d learned to accept and to appreciate a segment of society she‟d been long sheltered from. Her staunch Baptist upbringing had given her little opportunity to encounter gay people. Since knowing Joe, Daniel, and Brandon, Faith had done much soul searching, and much prayer, and found great pride in educating people on the myth of God‟s hatred of gays. As she breathed deeply, gathering her courage to face the trip before her, she saw the cab pull away from the curb, heading toward the group of men now mostly across the busy passage. Joe was struggling with Braden. The boy was obviously not happy being treated like a “child” He often chastised his father for “treating him like a baby.” Joe allowed the young boy to stand by his side, as they continued on toward the terminal. Faith stood, now blocked from the terminal by the busy street. A loud honking of the cab driver‟s horn startled her. He raced his engine angrily as he tried to back around the tangled mess of cars. Suddenly Faith caught Braden‟s glance. She smiled warmly as she mouthed “Hey baby, mama‟s coming!” In a moment that seemed like a flash of lightening, Braden broke loose from

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his father‟s grasp. Joe‟s eyes flashed immediately with panic. Faith watched as the entire scene sped past her, yet time seemed to be frozen in place, each moment an eternity. Joe immediately dropped the leather case he had across his arm. He screamed loudly “No! Braden, No! Faith heard over the loud noises of the cars her precious son‟s voice calling “Mommy!” Her heart froze. Words were beyond her grasp. She wanted to scream loudly but her throat closed. Her feet seemed nailed to the ground. Did she run to him? Did she yell to stay what did she do? She dropped the suitcase and ran toward the young boy. Joe‟s eyes were wild with fear as he looked for Braden, now lost in the tangle of cars in the crosswalk. Suddenly Faith saw Charles wildly crossing between cars toward an unseen point in the center of the street. Faith‟s heart fell as she knew it must be Braden. His tiny stature too small to see above the hoods of the cars. She watched helplessly as she saw the same cab that had carried her to the airport speeding wildly toward the young man, now running toward the center of the street. She heard the cab driver blow his horn loudly just as she saw Charles scoop up her son, and wrapped his arms securely around him, bracing himself for the impact that he knew was imminent. The squealing of the brakes made her blood run cold. She stood frozen. Unable to move. The scene had come to a halt. Every person there seemed stunned, and for a half second, unable to process what had

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happened. Faith fell to the ground. Unable to see what she knew was her son‟s body, on the ground. Charles had been thrown several car lengths forward. His body was lying in a heap. Braden was nowhere. She knew he was under that cab. The same cab that had brought her to this place had ended her son‟s life. She begged God for a miracle. She stood, summoning what strength she could, and ran toward Joe, who ran toward the scene. As she neared the front of the cab, she didn‟t see Braden. Oh God, no! She couldn‟t face this. She couldn‟t. As she looked wildly around the scene for her son her eyes came to rest on the lifeless bloody body that lay before her. Charles‟ long blond hair was matted with blood. His body lay in a fetal position, legs tucked under, his face covered by the locks of matted hair. Suddenly she saw movement from underneath the young man. She hadn‟t noticed the tiny fingers that were grasping his arms so tightly that they left indentions in his flesh. “Dear God!” Faith screamed. Joe ran toward Charles. He carefully moved the young man enough to check for a pulse. Under his body, still holding tightly to his arms was Braden, shivering, frightened, but nearly untouched by the impact. Faith ran to the child who now turned loose his grip on the young man lying motionless on the ground, reached upward for her. Faith pulled the tiny miracle to her breast. She held him tightly sitting on the ground; she rocked him holding him so tightly she could feel his

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heart beat with hers. After several moments, the reality of the situation hit her, and she pulled the child away from her body to make sure he wasn‟t hurt. His blue eyes were wild with fear. His pale curly locks of hair were smeared with Charles‟ blood, but other than cuts and some scrapes, Braden was nearly untouched by the impact. “Is he okay?” Joe screamed at her. His outburst shocked her back into the here and now. The sounds around her began to filter back into her consciousness, as she slowly processed everything that the last few seconds had wrought. Joe was giving C.P.R. to Charles as paramedics rushed to the scene to put him on a stretcher. A loud beeping of the ambulance siren shocked her as she continued to marvel at Braden‟s condition. Finally she managed to shout “He‟s fine. I think he‟s fine.” She watched as Joe helped the paramedics load Charles into the back of the ambulance. The driver of the ambulance came to her side. “Ma‟am, you need to come with me; your son needs to be checked out too. Ride up front with me.” Faith stood, her legs barely able to sustain her, as the kind woman took Braden from her arms and led her to the ambulance. “We need to hurry. Your friend doesn‟t have a lot of time. We need to get him to the hospital now.” The slamming of the ambulance door sounded so loud that it startled Braden. He‟d been amazingly silent, suddenly the sound of the ambulance door

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made him scream with fear. He clung hard to Faith‟s chest. Seeing the fear in his eyes she broke down sobbing as the ambulance hurled toward the Atlanta hospital. The driver swerved precariously through traffic. She didn‟t know if she‟d ever been in a vehicle traveling that fast ever. God, it must be serious. Her thoughts turned to Charles. She could hear them feverishly working on him. She could hear the anxious tone in Joe‟s voice as he talked to Charles. She could hear him as he continued administering C.P.R. to the lifeless form. “Goddamnit, you will not die on me!” Braden suddenly stopped crying and sat up on his mother‟s lap. “Who‟s daddy yelling at? What happened?” He‟d obviously been in shock, and hadn‟t realized what had happened. “Where‟s Charles? Mommy where‟s Charles?” The boy‟s frantic question grew louder with each word. He wiggled loose from her grasp as he looked over her shoulder at the open window to the rear of the ambulance. “Charles!” Braden screamed wildly. Joe shouted loudly. “Faith!” She drew her son to her chest. She knew that he feared the worst for Charles. She tried to reassure him. “Daddy‟s taking care of Charles.” Her words were broken by the heartbroken sobs of the young boy in her arms. “Daddy is a very good doctor, you know that. Charles will be fine.” Her reassurance sounded hollow she knew it. She needed to believe it as much as Braden did though.

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The ambulance came to a halt in front of the trauma center at the hospital. A team of medical personnel surrounded the stretcher as they hurried Charles toward the open doors of the hospital. Joe stood silent, clothes bloody. He seemed paralyzed by the absence of Charles. Faith held Braden to her as she neared him. He reached out for Braden. “Hey buddy, are you okay?” Braden looked at his father his eyes large pools of moisture. “Is Charles gonna die Daddy?” Joe stood silent holding his son. He began to shake violently. Faith had never seen the large man break down, not even at the death of his father. He‟d always been very reserved with displays of emotion. His eyes were filled with tears as he fought to keep from collapsing in front of Braden. Faith grasped them both, hugging them hard. Joe began to weep. “This is all my fault.” Joe sobbed. “I nearly lost Braden, and now Charles is…” The violent sobs from the man were so loud they were more wails than words. “Oh God, what have I done?” Faith stiffened her resolve, knowing that Joe had been the rock of stability for her more times than she could count. “We hope not. Why don‟t we say a prayer for Charles now, huh?” Joe removed a handkerchief from his pocket, and wiped his eyes. He breathed deeply, grasping Braden hard. “I think that‟s a good idea.”

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They walked, holding each other, pausing several times to cry, toward the hospital chapel. Inwardly, Faith had begun prayer before entering the chapel. She‟d been so callused recently. God had given her so much. She‟d experienced more love than she‟d ever hoped for, and if she died, she knew she would leave a son with a wonderful father. She realized how fragile life could be, and thanked God for sparing her son. She now turned her prayers to the unexpected young man that had cared more for her son than he had for his own life. God, how she hoped that she would be able to thank him for giving her son back to her, for giving him the chance to be the fine man she knew he‟d be some day. If only she‟d known how special Charles was before… She owed this man her life.

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Chapter Eighteen

Joe sat quietly thumbing his fingers in the surgical waiting area, waiting on any news from the doctors that were operating on Charles. He knew it was a very tough surgery. He‟d tried unsuccessfully to convince his friend, the operating surgeon, to let him attend. He knew in his heart he had no business in that operating suite, but he felt so helpless out here. His medical training had all been for nothing if he couldn‟t save this kind, generous…. The words seemed to go on endlessly describing the man who‟d willingly offered up his life to save Braden. He‟d shielded his son with his own body. Joe had watched helplessly as Charles wrapped his body around the tiny boy, and turned with his back to the cab knowing there was no way to stop the collision. His heart broke as he pondered life without Charles. Brandon paced wildly. Daniel had arrived a while back to give support. The large Italian man was in many ways the supportive brother Joe had never had. Both men came from large Italian families, both of which were less than thrilled to have gay sons. His family loved him, but the tension was palpable whenever they gathered. Joe stood and paced with Brandon. Suddenly his impatience got the better of him. “Goddamnit, what‟s taking so fucking long?”

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Daniel stood in front of him. He‟d been retired from the Marine‟s for years, yet his presence was still pure military. He grabbed Joe by the arm. “Joe, if you were doing the surgery, you‟d want to be as thorough as possible right?” His words were forceful and startled Joe with their intensity. “Yeah. I know you‟re right, but fuck!” “Joseph Dean!” Faith appeared in the doorway with a freshly bathed fairhaired blue-eyed angel. Braden had a cast on his right arm. The sight of the cast frightened the doctor. How could he have missed that his son had a broken arm? “I‟m sorry, Braden. Daddy didn‟t mean to curse.” Braden smiled knowingly. “You said a naughty word!” “Yes, I did. Faith, what is up with the cast? I didn‟t think he was hurt.” “Daddy, the doctor said it was cracked in the middle and might make my arm grow funny or something so I have to wear this thing.” He held out the bright orange cast that he‟d already had signed by half the Emergency room staff. “Is there any word, yet?” Faith cautiously asked. “Nothing. Not anything, it‟s been hours since we heard anything.” Joe furrowed his brow so deeply it ached. Joe noticed a man walking toward the group from across the room. He wore a vest and hat. As he entered the room, he removed his hat. From Faith‟s reaction, he assumed that she recognized him. Her breathing was quick and labored. Joe

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looked puzzled as the man entered the room. The man removed his hat. “Sorry to bother you folks, but I wanted to check on the little guy, make sure he was okay.” Joe asked “Pardon my asking but who are you?” The words had no more left his mouth that Faith crossed the room to step between the man and Joe. She drew her hand and slapped him hard across the face. The man withdrew, holding his face in his hand. “This is the asshole that hit my baby, that‟s who this is!” “Ma‟am, I‟m so sorry.” “Faith, I don‟t believe he did it intentionally.” Joe was shocked at Faith‟s reaction. She was the most compassionate woman he‟d ever met. He didn‟t understand the turn of her mood. “Why don‟t you ask about that precious boy that saved my baby‟s life? Why don‟t you ask about him? Why don‟t you want to know about that precious man who‟s fighting for his life right now?” Tears streamed down her face as the accusations flew like water from her. “I‟ll tell you why you won‟t ask. Because he‟s one of those fucking faggots, right? Say it, you insufferable prick! You said it before! Say it now. Grow a pair! Hell, the fucking room is full of „em. That fucking faggot saved my baby‟s life!” “What are you talking about Faith?”

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“Why don‟t you ask him?” “Look, ma‟am, I‟m sorry about what I said before.” “Get out!” Faith screamed louder. Daniel, the largest man in the room, and possessing by far the most intimidating presence, crossed between the man and Faith. “I believe the lady asked you to leave. You have one of two choices, through the door or through the Goddamn window. Choice is yours.” “Sorry, Faith.” Daniel apologized as he directed the man to the door. “It‟d serve him right if you had thrown his ass through the window! That goddamn man had the nerve to talk about Joe and Charles at the airport. God, I hate ignorant people.” “Faith, I do declare I believe Joe has corrupted you! I don‟t know that I‟ve ever heard such obscene things from such a pretty lady.” Brandon lead Faith to the couch, as she breathed heavily obviously still agitated from the exchange. Braden walked toward his mom. “Mommy, are you mad at me?” “No, baby. Mommy just doesn‟t like it when somebody talks bad about her family that‟s all. You and Daddy, Charles are my family. I love you all.” “That‟s a nice looking cast you got there, big guy,” Brandon offered as the young boy made the rounds. “Braynden!” the little boy shouted excited. The complexity of his name in

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comparison to his own gave the young boy cause to summarily change the pronunciation of the name regularly. The fact was that Braden adored the handsome blond man. Brandon knelt down to the boy‟s level. Braden ran toward Brandon full force, nearly toppling him with a giant hug. “You wanna sign it?” “Yeah, I‟d be glad to.” Brandon smiled. Joe watched Braden as the young man signed the neon orange cast with a black permanent marker. “Where‟s Daddy Charles?” The question rang loud in the room. “You said Daddy Charles would be okay. Where‟s Daddy Charles?” The young child‟s question became more of an accusation than a question. The child‟s bright blue eyes scanned the room for an adult with some sort of answer to his question. As the room fell silent, Joe noticed the appearance of the doctor that‟d done the surgery on Charles. Joe leapt toward the door. “How is he, Harold? What‟s the diagnosis? Is there any residual bleeding is there….” The barrage of medical questions bombarded the stunned surgeon as he attempted to enter the room. “Joe, let me be the doctor for right now okay?” “Sorry.” Joe retreated, hopeful there was something positive to come. “Charles is a very fortunate man that he was hit in an area that had immediate ambulance assistance. If we‟d have gotten to him ten minutes later, he‟d

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be gone. He suffered a perforated intestine. We‟ve had to remove his spleen and a lot of damage to his liver. He has multiple fractures of the upper tibia on the right side. We removed a portion of the small intestine as well as…” “Is he going to be okay” Faith interrupted the barrage of medical jargon. “It‟s too early to tell, but his prognosis is fair. He‟s not out of the woods by any means. If he makes it through the night, he‟ll probably make it.” Joe shook the doctor‟s hand, thanking him for all he‟d done when he felt Braden‟s presence between them. He‟d worked his way between the adults and had grasped the doctor‟s coat. He was tugging furiously at the white lab jacket. “Mister!” Braden shouted as he pulled on the jacket. “Mister!” Faith moved quickly toward the impatient child. Undaunted, he refused to let go of the doctor‟s jacket. He repeated his request this time in a shout that silenced the room. “Mister!” The doctor looked down at the child. His fair locks of hair fell precariously around his face as he cocked his head toward the doctor. The doctor looked visibly shaken for the first time since he‟d entered the room. The little boy stared at him for ten seconds before speaking. “Did you make Daddy Charles better?” The doctor searched Joe‟s eyes hoping for some sort of reprieve from the question, but Joe was as at a loss for words at the child‟s question as he. The

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doctor cleared his throat nervously. “Yes, son Charles is doing much better than he was.” “Did you make him better?” The undaunted boy pressed harder, this time intensifying the gaze. “Yes, son. I think we did.” The doctor had broken an unspoken rule amongst doctors. Never make a promise you can‟t keep. The doctor looked at Joe. “You can see him in about five minutes when we get him in the room.” “Braden, I need for you to be a good little boy, and wait right here with Daniel and Brandon okay. You can‟t go see Charles right now, he‟s very, very sick he needs to get better before you can see him okay?” Joe motioned the child toward Brandon who watched the scene from across the room. “No! I won‟t! I want to see Daddy Charles! Now!” The young boy‟s tirade was interrupted when he saw the gurney go by with the young man, bruised, his head bandaged, and wrapped in gauze. His long tresses of hair fell beside him on the stretcher. The child stood motionless. “Is he dead?” His expression looked as ashen as the sheet that covered Charles. Faith quickly scooped him up. “No, baby, he‟s just hurt really bad. He had an accident. But we‟ve all prayed for Jesus to make him better, remember? Now Mommy needs you to be a good boy, so we can go see Charles. I‟ll be sure to tell him you‟re gonna see him real soon okay?”

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Joe watched through the window of the intensive care waiting room. The doctors and nurses hooked all the miscellaneous tubes and monitors up to Charles. Joe stood silent. He refused to allow his emotions to get the better of him. He steeled his resolve, and turned to Braden. “Be Daddy‟s big boy and do as Mommy asks, okay?” “Okay.” The disappointed child sulked toward Brandon who scooped him up and gave him a big hug. He began rattling on with the boy about going to the beach as soon as Charles was okay. Braden‟s mood shifted immediately with the conversation. Joe breathed a sigh of relief as he nodded appreciatively at Brandon. Faith took his hand. “It‟s okay to be worried. It‟s okay to cry if you want to, Joe. No one would think less of you. You don‟t have to be the strong one here.” Faith‟s expression of concern unnerved him. “Listen, this is no time for me to be wallowing in self pity. Charles needs me, and I intend to be there for him. He saved my son‟s…” the words became harder as he choked back tears again. He stopped mid sentence and stiffened his back again. He was not going to fall apart. Not today. Not in front of Braden again. Faith took Joe‟s hand as they walked silently toward the beeping monitor that confirmed that, although unconscious, Charles was still hanging onto life. He approached his bedside. Faith held his hand so tightly he worried she might break

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the skin with her nails. Her hands shook as they looked down at the bruised young man clinging to life in front of them. “Joe, he didn‟t even hesitate. He knew that car would kill him, he wrapped his body around our son…” Faith began to cry, resting her head on Joe‟s shoulder. “I know, baby. Charles loves that boy. More than either of us knew.” Joe reached out and carefully took the hand of the man that had put his life on the line for Braden. It had all happened so fast that he didn‟t know whether it was all real or not. It seemed to be a horrible nightmare. His thoughts turned dark as he remembered how helpless he‟d been watching the whole scene. Charles had reacted when he hadn‟t. How could he have known where Braden was? A million questions, a million accusations riddled his mind. He felt a small movement from Charles‟ hand. “Faith! He‟s waking up!” He felt his heart leap with joy. His prayers had been answered. He looked at the bruised face of his lover for some movement, for some sign of recognition. Slowly Charles opened his eyes. He seemed disoriented, unaware of his surroundings, as if he didn‟t recognize any of them. Joe‟s mind raced, what if he‟d suffered more brain trauma than they‟d realized? He heard Charles groan. Joe took his hand carefully. “Baby, its Joe.” He looked hard at Joe. Suddenly his eyes flashed wild. He groaned louder. A panicked look overtook the young man. Joe smiled carefully at the wounded man. “It‟s okay,

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you‟re okay, and you‟re in the hospital. You‟re going to be okay.” Charles began nodding his head negatively. “No! No!” He groaned. He began thrashing wildly against Joe‟s grasp. He pulled the I.V. needle from his arm. Joe barked an order at the nurse to sedate him immediately. Charles screamed frantically as he tried to drag himself off the bed. Faith and Joe fought him madly, trying to keep him still while the nurse struggled to get the needle back into his arm. Finally he managed to scream “Braden! God! Braden. He‟s hurt, where is he? God, Joe, find Braden! Oh God! He‟s dead! He‟s dead! Isn‟t he Joe? He‟s dead?” Joe pushed the terrified young man back down onto the bed as the nurse finally slipped the needle back into his arm. Charles lay motionless. She‟d not yet sedated him, yet he seemed nearly comatose. Finally he looked at Joe with tears streaming from his eyes. “He‟s dead and it‟s my fault. I‟m so sorry. I should have died. Let me die.” Joe‟s heart broke for his lover‟s sake. God, he hadn‟t thought that the only thing Charles would remember was the accident. He had no way of knowing that he‟d saved Braden‟s life. “God, Charles, no! Braden is fine.” Joe tried unsuccessfully to console the distraught man. “He‟s dead.” Charles head turned, tears falling down his cheeks. “Daddy Charles! Daddy Charles!” Joe heard the shouts of his boisterous son.

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The sheer excitement in his voice made Joe‟s heart soar. He heard the little boy‟s feet scampering across the tiled floor along with Brandon‟s feeble attempt to subdue the excited child. He saw two nurses followed by Brandon frantically chasing the five year old toward the room. Braden slipped past them running wildly to the bedside of the distraught man. Charles‟ turned his head quickly toward the door. “Braden? Is that you, Braden?” “Daddy Charles! You‟re okay!” The young boy jumped in a leap onto the bed beside Charles. Joe panicked quickly jerking the young boy back. “No!” Charles gasped. “No! Let him!” Charles again tried to remove the I.V. needle from his arm to allow him to reach for Braden. From his arms Braden reached wildly toward Charles. Joe‟s heart broke with the boy‟s tears. He didn‟t understand why he couldn‟t hug Charles. The commotion had brought the doctor to the room as well as two security guards. Joe asked the doctor if it‟d be alright if Braden stayed for a while with Charles? “I really think Charles needs his rest. You guys need to wrap it up here. Charles is still in very serious condition here, and you need to let us help him. Young man.” The doctor approached Braden, who was still reaching toward Charles. “I‟m trying to help him get better like I said that means you need to let

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him sleep for a while okay?” Braden pouted his lip a bit and frowned. “Daddy Charles, do you promise not to die?” Joe nearly choked at the directness of the question. “Braden, son, don‟t say that.” Charles choked out a pained response. “We‟ve still got a sandcastle to build, big guy.” Braden smiled widely. He looked at Joe. “Me and Daddy Charles are gonna build the biggest sandcastle in the world!” Joe smiled. “I‟ll bet you guys will.”

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Chapter Nineteen

Charles groaned a bit as Brandon helped him into the S.U.V. It had taken a lot of convincing to get Joe to allow him to stay with Brandon and Daniel. Joe insisted that he‟d be better off at the condo with him. Joe had finally agreed when Brandon had pointed out that the condo was not exactly built with a convalescing patient in mind. The spiral staircase alone was daunting to Charles, for whom the simplest tasks seemed, at times, nearly insurmountable. “Are you gonna be okay?” Brandon fussed as he pulled the wheelchair away from the large S.U.V. “Yes, of course. Stop fussing so, Brandon.” “Look, Joe will break my legs and beat me with them if I don‟t get you home in one piece. He is going to be furious when he finds out you went home early and didn‟t tell him.” Brandon touted his finger at Charles in an exaggerated way. “I want it to be a surprise.” Charles smiled “Oh, it‟s going to be a surprise if he comes here early and you‟re gone!” “We‟ll have to make sure that doesn‟t happen. Besides, I want Braden to be the first one to see this.” Charles lifted the neon orange cast that he‟d had replaced that morning. “He has to be the first one to sign it.”

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“Most adults don‟t get neon casts, nor for that matter have people sign them… I‟m just sayin here, Charles.” “Screw you. It matches Braden‟s and I wanted it, so there.” “Very mature.” Brandon grinned as he climbed into the driver‟s seat. Daniel climbed into the back of the large S.U.V. “Maturity is highly overrated anyhow. “ “Exactly.” Charles smiled, nodding at Brandon. “God, I‟m outnumbered by children!” “Just drive. I‟m gonna take care of the whole Joe problem right now.” Brandon drove the S.U.V. toward the large house that Charles planned on recovering in. The whole accident had put a huge kink in his plans. He‟d hoped to be planning the commitment ceremony now; instead he was limping around with a neon orange cast on his arm. His body still ached with each movement he made. He swallowed down the two large pills the nurse had given him before he left. He‟d thought they wouldn‟t be necessary, since he felt reasonably good when he‟d left, but the process of getting into the vehicle was far more painful than he‟d expected. He felt like he‟d just been run back over by the very same cab. “Are you okay?” Brandon asked, his face grew concerned as he noticed Charles swallowing the two pink pills. “I‟m fine, Dad.” Charles mocked.

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“Look, I just about lost you. We all just about lost you. You‟re gonna have to get used to the fact that we‟re all going to worry about you. This has brought out the „dad‟ in all of us. Well, except for Faith, sometime I‟m going to have to tell you how she slapped the shit out of the guy that hit you.” “You‟re a fucking liar!” Charles turned, unbelieving toward Brandon. Daniel smiled, “In reality, no, he‟s straight up telling the truth. Actually, she cursed like a sailor, and then slapped the shit out of him.” “No fucking way!” Charles sat slack-jawed. He‟d never heard Faith raise her voice, much less curse. And to hear that she‟d slapped someone seemed so wildly out of character he couldn‟t fathom it. “Why on earth?” “Well the reader‟s digest version is this,” Brandon nodded at Charles. “The guy that hit you and Braden apparently had made some kind of disparaging remark about you, Joe, and Braden, not realizing that she knew you all. That was before any of this happened. He was the same guy that drove her to the airport. Anyway, she didn‟t say anything at the time but she made up for it at the hospital. She was rattling on something about fucking faggots, and the room was full of them now why didn‟t he say something now… Oh, and then Daniel threatened to throw him out the window.” “You didn‟t have to mention that part of it.” Daniel grimaced. “You did?” Charles smiled.

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“Well, the asshole should have stayed the hell away. You are more man than he‟ll ever be and he… Well he should have kept his fucking mouth shut.” Daniel breathed in heavily, as he leaned back into the rear seat. Charles withdrew his cellular phone from his pocket. He dialed Faith‟s number. He knew he could trust her to divert Joe this morning. “Faith?” Charles paused. “I need a favor.” “Sure, anything darling.” The feminine voice replied. “I need for you to get Joe to come to Daniel and Brandon‟s, and be sure you bring Braden. I‟m on my way there now. But don‟t tell either of them that I‟m home yet. I want it to be a surprise, okay?” “Charles! He‟s going to kill you. You know he wanted to take you home. You didn‟t let him take you to the condo, but he‟s going to have a stroke when he finds out you‟ve already left!” Her voice was frantic. “Oh, he‟ll be okay, besides I want to surprise Braden. I have something to show him. Just get Joe to the house. I‟m going to hang out by the pool and wait for you guys. We just pulled in the driveway.“ Charles nodded at Brandon as he slipped out of the driver‟s seat. “Okay, he‟s here right now, He just walked in the door!” “Good. I‟ll see you in a few.” Charles negotiated the difficult journey from the S.U.V. to the lounge chair

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at the side of the pool. As he sunk into the comfort of the padded seat, he reflected on the last few days, and how he‟d come to realize how truly lucky he was. The fact that he‟d survived the accident was fortunate, that was obvious, but the fact that Braden had come away from the accident with only minor injuries and a broken arm was truly miraculous. He laughed a bit at the young boy‟s determination. He‟d woke several nights to find Braden curled up with his tiny hands laying across him as he‟d snuck away from his dad on the reclining chair in the hospital room while Joe slept. He‟d even managed at one point to sneak into the I.C.U. unit without being caught and slipped into his room while Joe and Faith were frantically looking for him. He was truly an amazing kid. Charles wondered if he deserved to be loved by someone as special as Braden, or for that matter, Joe. Charles took a sip of the cool glass of lemonade that Brandon brought him as he lay beside the pool. He enjoyed the feeling of the sun on his face. He‟d hated the confines of the hospital, preferring sitting on the smoking deck outside. He didn‟t smoke, but he saw it as a chance to escape the antiseptic world that had been his life for the last few days. It had been less than two weeks since the accident, yet it seemed like an eternity. He heard a car door close on the other side of the bricked wall that surrounded the pool. He could hear Joe making his displeasure known to anyone that would listen. “Faith for God‟s sake, Charles can wear something else home. Why the hell

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does he need that damn shirt anyway?” “Joseph Dean!” “Sorry, but damn.” “What are you going to do when Braden starts cursing like a sailor, huh?” He could hear the motherly tone in Faith‟s voice. He stifled a laugh hoping to conceal his presence as long as possible. He heard the trio rounding the side of the house. Braden was chattering to his mother as they moved toward the pool house on the supposed mission to retrieve one of Charles‟ favorite shirts. “How long do I have to wear this thing on my arm, Mom? Are we still going to go to the beach and make sandcastles? I want to… Daddy Charles!” The young boy jerked loose from his mother‟s grasp and ran full speed toward Charles. “You betcha we‟re going to build that sandcastle. I‟ve just got to get rid of this silly thing first!” Charles motioned toward the bright orange cast. Braden ran toward Charles, climbing onto the chair and sitting on his lap. The movements of the boy made him ache horribly, but he was unwilling to let him know how uncomfortable he was. He gasped as Braden shifted his weight onto the staples that closed the incision over his wounds. Braden, sensing he‟d hurt Charles froze in place. He patted Charles on the stomach. “I‟m sorry Daddy Charles.” He began inching off the chair toward his

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parents. His eyes, deep puddles. He was just before crying. “Not before you give me a hug, I‟ve needed a hug all morning.” Charles smiled. The young boy draped his arms around Charles‟ neck, squeezing him hard. “I love you, Daddy.” The use of the term “Daddy” made Charles heart soar. He‟d never thought of having a son. He knew intellectually that this was not his flesh and blood, but he couldn‟t love a child more if he were born of his own body. The fact that he‟d grown comfortable enough with him to use that word made Charles heart swell with pride. The emotion of it made it nearly impossible to speak. “Baby, I love you too, more than anything or anybody ever!” Joe walked to the side of the chair, “I think you‟re both pretty special guys.” Braden sat back on the chair. “We match!” The young boy motioned at the casts. “Yeah, so we do.” All of the people seated around the pool sat silently as Charles lay with Braden across his chest, thumbing the tiny ringlets of blond through his fingers. “Buddy, you‟ll never know how bad you scared me. Promise me you‟ll never run away from me or Daddy again okay?” “I‟m sorry, Daddy Charles. I promise.”

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Charles smiled as he watched the young boy climb down to expend some of the pent up energy he‟d suppressed. A strange feeling of contentment settled over Charles, he felt at home, maybe for the first time in his life, he felt at home.

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Chapter Twenty

The sun shone bright on the fall afternoon in the affluent Atlanta suburb. Joe looked out the window of Daniel‟s study at the scene below. Brandon had transformed the back yard of the large house into a veritable paradise. There was a large white gazebo in the center of the yard, surrounded by white folding chairs all seated on large sections of snow white carpet. The carpeting was in stark contrast to the beautiful manicured grass that surrounded it. Seated in the chairs were many people Joe had known most of his life. He looked at the family members that had chosen to attend. He was thankful that at least some of his family chose to embrace his relationship with Charles. There was nothing in life that could shake the bond that the two men had forged. It had been cemented by the selfless act that proved to him Charles loved his son as much as he did himself. He was truly a lucky man. “Are you about ready, Joe?” Faith stood in the doorway of the study. She was a vision of beauty. Charles had insisted that she take part of the ceremony. She wore a linen white gauze dress and her dark hair fell in waves across her shoulders. She was exquisite. Braden stood holding her hand; he wore a black

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tuxedo, and his cherubic face framed by the long tresses of pale curls falling to his shoulders. He‟d refused to have his hair cut since the accident. Joe was sure it was his way of letting Charles know that he wanted to be just like his “Daddy Charles.” His strong masculine features were specifically like Joe‟s own, but his coloring, and his blond hair made Joe look twice at the young boy, He looked as though he could have well been Charles‟ flesh and blood. The effect rattled him as he watched the two of them. Faith adjusted his suit to straighten the damage he‟d done while playing earlier. “Yeah, I‟m ready. I was just thinking that it sucks that none of Charles‟ family came. I‟m not sure whether it would have been a good thing, but all the same, I know it hurts him. “ “His family is here.” Faith looked at Joe with an intensity that he‟d always respected. “You know, you‟re right.” Joe walked toward the pair. He guided them toward the back yard. It had been months since the accident. All the physical scars and pain had healed, but the emotion of that day still cut deep. Joe knew in a moment how close he came to losing two of the most important people in his life. He never intended to take that for granted again. Every day with Braden was a gift. A gift he owed to the man whom he loved with an intensity and depth, that he‟d never thought possible. It wasn‟t simply the fact that he‟d been willing, actually

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more than willing, he had actively sought to give his life for Braden. He loved Charles for many reasons, that fact though made any reservations about the young man fade to nothing. He felt Brandon take his arm and lead him to the front of the crowd. Faith motioned Braden to stay at the doorway of the house as the music for her, Joe and Brandon to come to the gazebo where Quinton stood. Joe looked back at the house, at his son. Braden stood upright and straight, alone waiting. Joe adjusted the matching black tuxedo that he wore. He felt such pride at the young boy standing tall. A few moments later he saw Charles emerge beside Braden. He wore a white tuxedo. Joe gasped as he looked at the handsome man. He was utterly breathtaking. Suddenly he noticed that Charles‟ hair was specifically shorter than it had been just hours before when he‟d seen him. It fell in waves just to his shoulders. It was styled precisely like Braden‟s Joe felt a lump in his throat. He‟d cut his hair to make Braden more a part of the ceremony. So that he‟d feel special. Joe fought hard to keep from allowing the emotion of the sight from breaking the solemnity of the moment. He looked down at Charles‟ feet. He was barefoot. Joe chuckled as he thought of the young man‟s ability to maintain his personal style while making the ceremony as traditional as any marriage. Just as the music swelled, the string quartet continuing Pacabel in G minor, Braden‟s face

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suddenly went serious. Joe‟s eyes grew concerned. He knew that look. Braden was unhappy about something, and as mature as he liked to think his son was, when Braden had a thought on his mind, nothing else would do, except he‟d deal with whatever was before him. Panic struck him as he wondered what in the world Braden was up to. Charles looked down at the young boy; he smiled, attempting to nudge him out the door. Braden wouldn‟t be budged. Suddenly Braden sat down on the white carpet, and began removing his shoes. A burst of laughter rang through the crowd as Braden chucked the shoes through the grass, followed by the socks that matched the expensive designer suit Charles had picked for him. Charles nodded as Braden stood, now barefoot. He stood tall and proud holding Charles hand as they approached the Gazebo. The young boy stood between the two men. He held Joe‟s hand tight as he held Charles on the other side. Quinton stood, in front of the four people, His cleric robes giving him an air of dignity that befitted the normally outspoken man. He was truly a complex man, one not only of fierce loyalty to his friends, but one of deep spiritual beliefs. It had been Quinton that had chastised Joe when he‟d negated the “need” for the whole “commitment” thing. Joe had said that he didn‟t need to make people „comfortable‟ by doing the heterosexual thing. Quinton had reminded him, it wasn‟t a heterosexual or homosexual thing. It was a personal commitment between two

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people, bound by their belief in God‟s love. He began the ceremony. “It is only right that these two men stand together, bound by the hands of a child. Braden is living and visible proof that God doesn‟t always give us a neat and tidy package to wrap our lives in. There are turns and detours along the way. What allows us to rise above the evil in this life is the fact that we can choose a life of selfishness, or service. I am proud to know both of these men. They are what exemplifies selflessness, kindness, humility and above all of these things, love. “Braden, you have something you wanted to say?” Joe looked down at his barefoot son, beaming with pride. He had no idea that Quinton had planned on using Braden in the service. “I want to be legal, too.” Braden smiled. Joe‟s expression was puzzled. He had no idea where Braden was going with this. “You have to promise that I‟m legal, too.” Braden pressed. “Baby,” Charles smiled down on the little boy. “I couldn‟t love you any more if you were born into my family. No man, no person, and by God, not even a cab, can change the fact that you are now, and will always be a part of me.“ Muffled giggles ran through the crowd at the comment. “As I lay there with you in my arms, I knew then that God had given you to me for a reason. He‟d put you in my

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life for a purpose. I promise you and your dad that nothing will ever change the fact that I love you both, and I will never, ever, leave you Braden.” “Do you think that‟s okay, Braden?” Quint winked at the young boy. “Does he get to be my Daddy Charles forever and ever?” Joe smiled. “Yes, baby, forever and ever.” Braden smiled broadly, still holding both men by the hand. Faith took a tissue and wiped a tear from her face as she tried to regain her composure. Brandon sniffed back tears as Joe took in the scene. “You guys are gonna make me cry.” Joe finally broke in. “Maybe we should continue on before we all make big old fools of ourselves huh?” Quinton grinned, nodding at Braden. Time stood strangely still as Joe watched the ceremony from his mind‟s eye. He knew he was an active participant, but it seemed as though he were simply a spectator at some heavenly event that he was not worthy to take part of. He knew simply that he was thankful for the love he‟d found in Charles, and the security he had knowing that he‟d never be alone again. “May I present to you Charles and Joe? May their commitment and devotion be an example to the world of what true love is. Now before he loses his mind here, let this big lug give you a kiss, Charles.” Quint winked at the couple. Joe leaned in giving his lover a kiss. The warmth and familiarity of it was

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comforting. He felt his heart soar as he heard the applause behind him. He‟d finally done it right. God knows it was about time. He felt a tug at the long tails on the tuxedo. “Are we legal yet?” Braden smiled. “Yeah, Braden, we‟re legal!” Joe picked the barefoot child up. His heart sank though when he considered the realities of the statement he just made to his son. It was a lie. It angered him that his commitment was not recognized by anyone other than the people in that gathering. He refused to allow his frustration with Georgia‟s lack of progress in human rights to infect his mood today. Charles toyed with Braden‟s curls, “You made one handsome young man there. You‟re gonna break some hearts in your life little man. Look at that smile. You are something special you know that?” “I know.” Braden rolled his eyes. Joe allowed the young boy to escape his grasp. He ran toward the line of guests and the long lines of food Brandon had arranged on the lawn. “That boy is going to keep all of us busy.” Joe grinned as he motioned to Faith. “Well, I hope you both are ready to deal with the little devil you‟ve unleashed on the world. That boy is going to be every bit as wild as either one of you had time to be. So I hope you both are prepared to deal with the aftermath.”

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Joe paused for a moment. Faith had grown increasingly specific in her comments about his and Charles part in raising Braden. He knew that Braden loved Charles and himself as well, but Joe would always believe that the best person to guide his son through life was his mother. Her strength of character and her indeterminable will were a force to be reckoned with. He wondered if there was something going on that she wasn‟t being completely honest about. During the time while Charles had nearly died, Faith had been nearly inconsolable. She was understandably grateful to Charles, but there was something else that he couldn‟t define. Today however wasn‟t the day for that kind of revelation. Today was a celebration.

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Chapter Twenty One

Charles sang along with the song blaring on the stereo. “Let's pee in the corner, let‟s pee in the spot light losing my religion, trying to keep an eye on you...” The R.E.M. song reverberated in the background as he danced happily around cleaning the small pool house he'd called home for more than a year. He wore simply a pair of thread-bare, cut-off jeans he'd stolen from Joe and worn until they were practically transparent, and a ragged tee shirt with more holes than fabric. It had been several months since the accident, and losing Henry. The year had been so turbulent it seemed at times as though he‟d simply witnessed the events rather than lived them. He still thought daily about how he could have changed the outcome, he'd come to accept that he had to move forward rather than regretting what might have been. “I'm gonna miss having you around here, Charles.” Daniel smiled at the busy young man. “Shit, you scared me. I'm „gonna miss living here too, but I hope that just because Joe and I living together, you guys aren't gonna just forget me.” “Like you'd ever let anyone forget you!” A boisterous voice from behind the

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large marine shouted. “Brandon, you insufferable bitch!” Charles grinned broadly as he hugged his friend. “I want you guys to keep us in your planner. Us old married couples have to stick together you know.” Married. That sounded wonderful. Although Charles knew it wasn't a legal title, his heart accepted it as genuine. The commitment ceremony the two men had shared in the garden of this house, had been the culmination of all of his greatest hopes and fears. He was terrified that somehow he'd mess it up, but hopeful that his love for Joe was strong enough to bridge any divide his youth might make. Joe peaked around the door casing. He'd been cleaning the kitchen area. “Watch it there who you're calling old.” Brandon had argued that he'd just hire to get it done, Charles had insisted if they were kind enough to let him live there for a year, he was certainly going to leave the pool house in the same condition he found it. “I know precisely who I was referring to,” Brandon quipped. “Touché.” “I am going to miss being able to hang out with you guys at home though.” Charles broke Brandon's gaze, staring down at the freshly mopped floors. “I don't think were gonna be strangers,” Daniel grinned, punching Joe hard

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in the arm. “I want you guys to know, without you... I'd probably be miserable or even dea...” Charles choked on the words. The loss of Henry made his heart ache. The realities of his own near death experience shook him. He felt the bile rising in his throat as he considered the condition Henry had been in when Charles had seen him in the morgue. “Well, I‟m much better for having taken you in. You did as much for us and we have for you.” Brandon leaned in hugging Charles tightly. “Joe, we‟d better get going.” Charles broke the embrace, mostly to avoid the flood of emotions rising in his mind. “Yeah, the plane leaves in four hours.” “Finally taking that honeymoon, huh?” Brandon's smile gleamed brightly. “Yeah, we‟re going to Jamaica, same resort you and Daniel got married at. It was such a cool place we decided to give it a second try. Faith is bringing Braden up in a few days.” Brandon and Daniel hugged both men and wished them well on their trip. “Don't do anything I wouldn't do.” “Honey, that doesn't leave much!” Charles laughed. Brandon winked at him. A quick smile escaped his lips. Joe and Charles gathered the last few cleaning items before closing the door

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to the place Charles had called home for more than a year. “Are you ready?” Joe asked Charles sighed. “Bring it on. I'm ready to be with you. I'm ready to love you. I'm ready for the whole thing.” “Well.” Joe smiled. “Usually I'm the one who waxes philosophical at times like these, but actually I meant are you ready to go?” Leaning in Charles kissed his lover and smiled. “I'm ready to go anywhere with you.” “Same here, handsome.”

The End

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http://blakedeveraux.googlepages.com/ Author Bio: I know alot of you readers, assume that the person writing the books you read is really some soccer mom or a relusive hermit.... I'm sure some are, but as for me, I'm a real guy with a real life. I'm a fun guy who loves his job! I have been writing for many years, but only recently with the prodding of my partner of many years decided to take a dive into the romance/erotic novel field. I hope that my readers enjoy my books, I have been accepted on redrosepublishing.com as a new author. My books have an edge that most erotic books in the “gay” genre generally don't have. For one they are actually written by a man. I genuinely enjoy other authors as well but felt that there was something missing from the work. My partner basically told me “either shut up or put up! ” so I did. Soon my first book will be available titled "Dangerous Obsessions” I have submitted a follow up book “Dangerous Liasons” I hope that it will follow shortly. My books are not all romance and flowers. There is definetly a “"hard” edge to them, but they do I think reveal that even with an edge, men do love, and love deeply. I hope you will enjoy my work as much as I enjoyed writing it! Red Rose Publishing

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Dangerous Obsession- Now available in ebook and print Dangerous Liasons Dangerous Deceptions Dillon‟s Prayer

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