Dear Corinne, Tell Somebody! Love, Annie: A Book About Secrets

Dear Corinne,

Tell Somebody! Love, Annie

Electronic book published by ipicturebooks.com 24 W. 25th St. New York, NY 10010 For more ebooks, visit us at: http://www.ipicturebooks.com All rights reserved. copyright ©1999 by Mari Evans Illustrations copyright ©1999 by Peter Ambush No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. e-ISBN 1-59019-181-1 Library of Congress Catalog Number 94-76810 ISBN 0-940975-81-5 HC ISBN 0-940975-90-4 PB

Dedication For all those I know and love who have been unable to tell and in memory of the unforgettable child I met who didn’t have a chance to tell. M.E.

Dear Corinne, It is real quiet in here under the noise. Corinne, why don‛t you come and knock no more? What happened to make you act so different and not want to be friends? Did somebody do something to you that hurt you so bad you don‛t want to think about that or anything else? Because you sure don‛t act like you want to talk to nobody...

Something is very wrong with Corinne. She doesn’t speak to anyone. She doesn’t look anyone in the eye. She doesn’t smile. Her best friend, Annie, has tried everything. Nothing seems to work. So, Annie starts to write letters to Corinne. She begins to tell her that no matter what has happened they will always be best friends. Annie also tells Corinne that somethimes problems might be too big for a kid to handle alone. That it’s important to find someone who can help. Someone who wants to help. But Corinne has to take the first step -- and tell somebody… Celebrated black writer, educator and activist Mari Evans has created a powerful and touching story about true friendship and the devastating effects of child abuse.

Dear Cor

in n e

Love, Annie

A Book About Secrets by

Mari Evans

Dear Corinne, I am sitting here on this couch and everybody thinks I am watching TV but I am not really paying it no attention. I mean I am not really watching cartoons even though they are making jokes and singing and all that. It seems quiet underneath all that noise because I am thinking about how you use to come and knock on our door and my mother would open the door and say, “Why hello, Corinne,” and then she would yell back at me and say, “Here‛s Corinne.” Or else I would beat her to the door hoping it was you and I would throw it open and you would be standing there.

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And I would be so glad. And I would say, “Hey Corinne.” And you would march in and say, “Girl, do you know what Tondra did?” But sometimes I could come to your house and knock on the door, remember? And if Veronica or Tondra opened it they would say, “Hi, Annie. Come on in.” But if Elise opened it she would smile and turn her back and yell at you as she walked away. “Corinne, your friend‛s here.” And I wouldn‛t know whether to wait by the door or come on in the room. But Elise is all right with me because I know that is just the way she is. When are you coming back over or can I come over there? Love, Annie

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Dear Corinne, Since you won‛t say nothing I am going to write you this letter. Because I miss you and Denise is not my best friend even though she walks with me now. You are. So I am writing you this letter because you won‛t say nothing to me any more. Love, Your friend, Annie

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Dear Corinne, It is real quiet in here under the noise. Corinne, why don‛t you come and knock no more? What happened to make you act so different and not want to be friends? Did somebody do something to you that hurt you so bad you don‛t want to think about that or anything else? Because you sure don‛t act like you want to talk to nobody. You act mad. You ought to know you have got at least one friend, Corinne. Me, I will always be your friend. Don‛t nothing come between me and my friends. Nothing. My mother even says that. She says I am not a fair-weather friend who will leave when trouble comes, but a rainy weather friend.

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Someone you can count on to be there if you have a problem. Especially if the problem is that somebody who is bigger than you is bothering you and you are mad but also scared to tell. Is it Veronica? If you ever tell me who it is or what it is I will help you think up something we can do. You know me. I have always got ideas. And nobody comes between me and my friends. And you are my best friend. My very best friend. Your true friend, Annie

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Dear Corinne, Even though I see you I can‛t nd you. You act like you have gone inside yourself to hide. You know I‛m here but you won‛t look at me. You won‛t look at anybody. Who has made you feel so bad you keep your eyes down? You act like you hope nobody can see you. And I guess you won‛t look at anybody because you don‛t want nobody to gure out what is happening with you. And you act like you have no intention of telling whatever it is. It makes me feel bad because I‛m your friend, the one who has not stopped liking you. Love. Annie P.S. I‛ll write more tomorrow. 10

Dear Corinne, This situation we are in has got me puzzled although it is looking better because you looked me dead in the eye today. Not long, but you did it. And you almost smiled. Now I know you are still my friend. For a while I was really scared, I thought you didn‛t like me no more. And that made me sad because you‛re my best friend. Anyhow, I knew I didn‛t do anything to you. But you know how you been acting. First, you didn‛t want to walk into the building with me no more. When we got off the bus you went on ahead by yourself. And I said that‛s all right let her go on. But I still felt bad. And before that at the bus stop you wouldn‛t talk none. Then even though

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I was saving you a seat you went and sat by old Jamesetta and I know you don‛t like her. That made me confused. ‘Cause you my best friend. I am just writing this because I miss you. And I am puzzled. Your friend, A.

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Dear Corinne, I am home now. The sun is still shining kind of easy. It makes everything soft and orange looking. It was warm on my face through the bus window. I like looking at the trees and bushes as we ride home from school. They change so quick. From like they are today to being all green or maybe they have snow heavy on them. Today they are so beautiful I want to sing and turn around with my arms spread out. We used to do that, me and you. Remember? And we used to scrunch our feet in the leaves because we like the way they sounded and they always felt crisp and dry. Remember how they looked?

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Red and yellow and brown and our shoes were on them. But now you keep your face closed and look down at the ground. Do you still see the leaves? Sometimes you stare straight ahead as if you would rather not see people. I wish I knew what you are thinking because I miss you. Love, A.

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Dear Corinne, You know how me and Mama always talk about stuff. Well today when she came home from work I asked her why she thinks you still won‛t hardly talk to me when I sure have not done anything to you. Just all of a sudden you stopped talking. Even when I catch up with you so we can walk together like we used to you keep your head turned and walk on the edge of the sidewalk and sometime say yes or sometime say no or sometime don‛t say nothing. So I asked my Mama the question. And I sit down ‛cause I know we‛re going to have a long talk.

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First thing my mama said was, “well if Corinne don‛t have nothing to do with you any more it must be ‘cause she got something on her mind.” And I know that‛s true because I think about you a lot and how you been acting. Every time I think about you not being my friend I get sad. So I asked my mother because she and my Aunt Pearl say a lot of good things and then I know what to do. So I said when somebody stops speaking to you or looking at you does she hate you? My mother said, “she probably does not hate you. Something may have happened to her and she don‛t know what to do. She may hate herself or somebody else.

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But not you.” She also told me to tell you that I am still your friend. So that is why I am writing you a letter today. Hey Corinne! Remember me? Love, Annie

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Dear Corinne, The other thing Mama said was that even though you look at me sometimes you may be afraid of me. I was surprised and mad. I said, “afraid of me? I haven‛t done nothing to her. Why she afraid of me?” And my Mama said, “Not afraid of you, but she may know something you don‛t know. Something she probably doesn‛t want you to nd out.” And then all I said was, “Oh, so Corinne got a secret. Well I‛m her best friend and I don‛t know why she won‛t tell me what it is ‛cause if somebody‛s after her I sure will help her ght.” So I said, “Mama, I‛ll be right back.” And I went on the steps with

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my notebooks and that‛s why I‛m writing you right now. If you in trouble I want to be right there helping. Can‛t nobody mess with two of us. I‛ll help you ght, Corinne. Love, Your best friend, Annie P.S. this is something I thought about but I forgot to say, if you are scared of somebody at your house you may be scared of everybody by now. But one bad person is not everybody. Everybody is not bad, Corinne. Good people love you. And good people are always willing to help. I may not be too good but I am willing to help. And you are my best friend. So smile or something to let me know we are still best friends. I miss you.

Love, Your friend.

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Dear Corinne, Now I feel better. I saw you look at me again today and if Bobo had let me borrow his old basketball like I asked him I would have done a slam dunk like Air Jordan. Because I think I know what your eyes were saying. They told me you knew you weren‛t alone any more. That it was all right to look at me. I know whatever is happening is not your fault. A.

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Dear Corinne, Is somebody picking on you? Is it somebody at school? At home? Next door? Where? Somebody bigger ? When you are a kid like us, and somebody bigger does stuff or makes you do things you don‛t want to do, it is never your fault. Remember LeeAnn told us her brother would catch her when her mother wasn‛t home? We are not as big as they are and of course we are scared. Besides, they are bullies. My aunt told me that, but she said you have to let somebody know about it before anybody can help you. I am glad you looked at me. Your friend, Annie 21

Dear Corinne, Did you watch television night before last and see the show on child abuse? My mother said I needed to see it so I would know about it. I hope you got to see it because it was good and I learned a lot. It was called, “WHO SHALL I TELL?” And it was about this girl. She was about as old as us and her father was after her and bothered her all the time. Kept catching her when nobody could see him. You know. Like maybe when her mother was not home, or everybody in the house was doing something else, or maybe when she went to sleep he‛d come in the room and pretend he was just playing. And nobody seemed to know about it. And she didn‛t tell anyone about it.

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So he kept trying to catch her and nally he did. She was really scared. He kept taking her in a room and closing the door. And because it was television you couldn‛t see anything else. But you knew he was making her do things she didn‛t want to do. And you could see her stop talking to people. She just stayed to herself. ‛Cause she thought people would be able to tell what was happening. And then they wouldn‛t like her.But we all knew it wasn‛t her that was bad. He was the one. He was bad and we all wanted her to tell. We kept saying, “Come on Andrea. Tell somebody,” Oh yes, her mother acted like she didn‛t know it but we knew she was just pretending. My mother said she wouldn‛t have stood for it. And she kept calling the

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man an old dog. She said people don‛t like for children to have to go through things like that. She said a child really has to be brave enough to tell someday. Andrea nally told three people and one of them made him stop. We all said, “Yeah.” It was a good show. Bye P.S. My aunt saw it. She said she hoped you did, too. P.S. 2 My mother said it didn‛t have to be her father or some man after her. She said it could be anybody. Brothers, sisters, even somebody next door. Or somebody‛s mother. Is someone after you, Corinne?

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Dear Corinne, I‛m glad you wrote back! But you could have written more words than just “What would happen if I tell?” I guess what would happen is that somebody would be astonished and ask you to say it again. And you would. Right? Then, I think they would say, “Don‛t be afraid, Corinne. I believe you. I will help.” Corinne, please look for somebody you know is kind and has good eyes. And tell. Tell. A lot of people will care. I know I do. And I will help you think of something we can do. Love, Annie

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Dear Corinne, I told Mama you wrote me. I didn‛t tell her just what you said but you know Mama. She say, “Does Corinne seem sad?” I think back and I say,“Yes.” So she acted worried and didn‛t look at me for a while. When she do look, her eyes full of tears. She say, “Tell Corinne I love her very much and that she‛s a good girl.” Then she say it again, real loud and wipe the tear from by her nose. “A good girl.” she say, and tells me to tell you that. And that she will help you if you will let her know. But you have got to let her know, she said. Like my mother said, you may be so hurt by something that now everything is mixed up in your head and you may think you are bad! But you are not bad. Whoever hurt you is the one who is bad because they had no right to do

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anything to you. So you are probably scared and hurt. But hurt and bad are different, Mama said. And you are hurt, not bad. So that is why I am writing this letter. My Mama cry tears when I say “Yes, you look like you are sad. Or mad.” And she say “that‛s a shame ‘cause Corinne is a good girl and tell you she loves you.” Me, too. You my best friend. Oh yes, my mother keeps muttering something bout the old dog. And I say they ain‛t got no dog. And she say yes they have, and don‛t say “ain‛t!” “Corinne tell you about it when she ready.” So tell me. When did you all get a dog? And why does that make you too sad to talk to me? Please write back. Your friend, A. 27

Dear Corinne, I got your note! But I don‛t understand it. You said, “Yes we got a dog, and it walks around on two legs.” Corinne, what does that mean? I know dogs don‛t walk on two legs so you must mean somebody is a dog. Somebody in your house. I tried to think of who it could be. And what they could be doing that makes you so sad. And then I remember that child abuse story on TV and I said I bet that is what is happening to Corinne. But then I couldn‛t think of who could be after you. There is only Tondra and Elise and you and Veronica and Mr. Ben and your brother. And your mother.

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But Li‛l Ben is always playing basketball, isn‛t he? And Tondra and Elise don‛t seem like dogs. But Veronica always seem to be pretty mean to you and you seem to do everything she say like she controls you or something. And then there‛s Mr. Ben ‘cause on TV it was the girls father that was the dog. That only leaves Li‛l Ben and your mother. And maybe Li‛l Ben is a dog off the basketball court. I didn‛t add in your mother but maybe I shouldn‛t leave anybody out cause this is really a puzzle. If I am close when you see me nod yes. Love, Annie

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Dear Corinne, I was so happy when you handed me that note today my heart jumped. You didn‛t just nod, you handed me a note. But since you only wrote one sentence I am trying to gure it out. You said, “it is B and V.” Did you mean there are two people? I know the V stands for Veronica which is only a surprise in one way ‘cause I know she is mean and makes you do everything she says, but I didn‛t know girls might mess with little children. But now I know Veronica is one who does. After I gured that out I had to try to decide what you meant when you said B. That could mean

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your father when nobody is around or your brother when nobody knows what he is doing but you and him. Love, Annie

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Dear Corinne, Now we got to gure out what we can do to stop whoever it is. We can tell, of course. But I guess you are really scared of what they might do if you tell on them. But you don‛t have to be afraid because we could tell somebody like my mother or the nurse at school. And I could go with you. Or we could call the number they showed after that TV show. My mother made me copy it down. She said she could not be with me all the time and I might want to use it someday to help myself or a friend. She said she didn‛t know and she hoped I wouldn‛t need it but told me to just copy it in my notebook.

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So here it is: 1–800–422–4453. This is the real number that kids can call to get help and nd out what to do. And we can always call it. Anyway, I will help you but we have got to make our move. Now. Or it will get worse. Love, A.

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Dear Corinne, Do you mind if I tell Miss Price? Since she is a nurse she should be able to help. I could say I have a friend who has a problem and I don‛t have to mention your name. So if it is all right to tell her you let me know. Love, Annie

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Dear Corinne, I got the note and all you said was “Yes.” So I will tell Miss Price today. Love, A.

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From the Desk of Nurse Price Dear Corinne, This is Nurse Price writing, Not Annie. But Annie is your friend and Annie is my friend. And you know Annie. If she has a problem she tries to talk to somebody about it. Beacause she knows that sometimes other people have ideas and understand what the trouble is. Your problem has happened to other people who could not help themselves any more than you can. Even if it’s a problem you feel can’t be changed, sometimes we can think of ways to help. Annie is worried about you because she is your friend. And she feels sad because you are no longer as close to her as you used to be. She says you don’t talk much anymore. You keep to yourself and when you are with other people you are not like you used to be. Sometimes you act like you are mad. And she said you have a problem and that it is a secret. What I think, Corinne, is that someone is abusing you. And they keep making you afraid so you won’t tell anybody. Child abuse is what happens when someone bigger or stronger than you does things to you that hurt you or make you feel bad. Things that make you angry. Child abuse can be made to stop, Corinne. So let’s talk some more about good touch bad touch, all right? Love, Nurse Price

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From the Desk of Nurse Price Dear Corinne, Child abuse always feels bad. It usually hurts and makes you uncomfortable. If it does not feel bad, or if it only hurts a little it is because you have been abused so much that your body may just have decided that the person who abuses you is either too strong for you to fight or that the abuse may not be too bad, after all. You may almost be used to it and by now you allow the abuse to continue without fussing too much. But you do really know it is not good or right. That is when you really, really, really, really must tell, so something can be done about it. The only reason I can tell you all this is because Annie was brave. In order to help you she told me about the secret. Now I can help you start to help yourself. The main thing is you have to TELL. Annie told and now I am asking you if we can sit down and talk. Love, Nurse Price P.S. You are the one who must ask for help. You must tell. Will you tell me?

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From the Desk of Nurse Price Dear Corinne, One way to handle a problem is to talk about it. What I believe is that this person has told you that you better not talk to anyone about what is going on. That if you tell he (or she) will know it and then they’ll really hurt you or someone you care about. Right? People who do bad things to little children like you (or Annie) always try to scare the children by saying that. You probably know why. In order to keep doing those things you hate, they have to pretend that they are not afraid to get caught. But they are afraid. More afraid than you are, or they wouldn’t try to keep you from telling. What they are doing is wrong. They know there are grown-ups around who would punish them for what they do to you. So they really are afraid. They are bullies and cowards who want to hide what they do. They pick on people who are smaller. So tell. Even if you have to say it three or four times to three or four people, keep saying it. Somebody will make them sorry they bothered you. So be strong enough to fight back in one of the real ways that children can fight back. Have the courage to stand up for yourself.

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Find someone Corinne, and tell until someone believes you. That is when we can make sure that it stops. Tell. And remember I love you! Your friend, Nurse Price P.S. Do you want to talk to someone like me?

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From the Desk of Nurse Price Dear Corinne, You finally did it! You finally told. And people have believed you. You are a good child. A brave child. A child someone has been really rotten to. But now, you’ve taken the first step. The first step toward changing your life so it can be every good thing you want it to be. You are so very precious and you deserve a good life. Things don’t always happen as fast as we want and you may have to tell again. But keep telling if you have to. No one has the right to bother you and make you feel bad. Ever. Love yourself and tell. And fight if you must. Always! Love, Louise Price School Nurse

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Hey Annie, It‛s me, Corinne! I told. I told. I told! And you were right. I feel much better. I don‛t have an ugly secret roaming around inside me anymore. I don‛t have to worry about people nding out about things and thinking I‛m bad. I told! And people still like me. They are still my friends. If you were here I would hug you. Nurse Price believed me. Thanks for saying I had to tell. You have been my real friend. C.

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Dear Annie, You know what? Everything is different now. Before I told I felt I was just a kid, just me, and not worth much and maybe that was why bad things were happening to me. I wanted to make things stop but I couldn‛t and before I told I thought nobody would like me if they knew what was happening to me. They might think I wanted it to happen. But after I kept reading your letters I decided maybe telling would be a good thing to do. So I nally did. I told someone some of my horrible experiences. And they said the people who were forcing me to do things were bad. Not me. So thanks for saying I should tell. Now things have started to change. I‛m not afraid anymore. Corinne

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Dear Annie, I will not write any more letters about how I‛m feeling because I don‛t need to. You see me walking with my head up now, don‛t you? And you know I am talking to you and everybody again. And I run and catch up with you again and yell, “Hey, wait up!” Right? So you know I am really beginning to feel all right again, don‛t you? I am only writing this because I found out I like writing. Maybe what I will write from now on will be stories and since you are my best friend I will let you read my rst story. Okay? Corinne P.S. I feel good because I like myself all over again. And although you have your mother and your Aunt Pearl, maybe you would like having a counselor like I have. C.

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Dear Annie, I will tell you what happened after I told. Three things. Nurse Price asked me if I had the courage to answer questions and tell the people who wanted to help me the same things I told her. I told her I could do that. And I did. She helped me not to be scared. People believed me and they talked together to make sure the ugly things that were happening stopped. And to make sure that I won‛t ever be bothered again. And if anyone tries I now know what to do. The third thing is that now I have somebody called a counselor who likes me. We talk about anything I want to talk about when I am confused or have problems. And it works. This is the rst time I have had somebody I can just say anything to, who isn‛t shocked by what I say, and who will try to help. Corinne

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Dear Corinne, I already hugged you. So I guess this is my last letter about what we talked about. (Unless you need me.) I you. See you at school. Your friend, Annie

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For Parents and Professionals

Dear Corinne, Tell Somebody! Love, Annie A review by Audrey E. Campbell, PhD. This book addresses children 8 to 12 years old, but in fact, it is ageless and timeless. Sexual abuse is the great destroyer of our children Dear Corinne takes us patiently and lovingly through 27 letters as a powerful attempt is made to break into the secret circle. Corinne’s silence, agony, and personality change testify to the horrible secret; the terrible pain; the masking; the hiding; and the resignation into shame. And yet, Corinne is also fortunate to have a persistent, observant, passionate, loving friend, Annie. What can we do to help children like Corinne? What can we do to stop this? What can we do to protect our children? Parents and professionals need to watch and listen so much more diligently. And even after we “hear,” so many of us tend to stand immobile (paralyzed or like accomplices). After the listening and the hugs, parents and professionals must report, and help remove and support the child, and probably testify. Our failure to punish the perpetrators of these immoral, psychological and illegal acts becomes yet another staggering blow for the precious child who has learned that giants can crash into their lives, minds, bodies,

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space, and souls and still (unfortunately for the abused child) seem to live “happily-ever-after.” Dear Corinne should be in every therapeutic office. It can be read individually by a child victim of sexual abuse, with the therapist sitting by to support and discuss. It can be read together, helping to form that healing bond between the child and the therapist. It can be read jointly by a family in family therapy, becoming a part of the revealing and healing process. It can be read by adult clients, who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse, who have come into therapy…perhaps even 20 years after to try to break out of the secret circle and its devastating effects on a victim’s life. It can be read by adult clients who are just beginning to face the need for help in breaking out of the vicious circle. We owe a great chorus of thanks and praise to Mari Evans for using her gifts with such great courage.

Dr. Audrey E. Camphell, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and educator. In addition to her psychological studies, Dr. Campbell has earned two graduate degrees in Theology and Spirituality and tends to approach healing with a psycho-theological perspective. Dr. Campbell sees as her greatest responsibility, the raising of her two adopted children, who now as young adults are still struggling survivors of childhood abuse.

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MARI EVANS A recipient of numerous honors and awards, Mari Evans is well known for her work as a poet and writer. Among her published books are I Am a Black Woman, Nightstar, A Dark and Splendid Mass, and Black Women Writers (19501980) A Critical Evaluation. Her books for children include I Look at Me, illustrated by Mike Davis; JD, illustrated by Jerry Pinkney; Jim Flying High, illustrated by Ashley Bryan; and Singing Black: Alternative Nursery Rhymes for Children, illustrated by Ramon Price. A major figure in African American literature and the Black Arts Movement, Ms. Evans was inducted into the National Literary Hall of Fame for Writers of African Descent at Chicago State University in 1998. An educator, writer and musician, she lectures and reads at colleges and universities throughout the United States. She lives in Indianapolis, Indiana.

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