A Friend and A Lover

T YÜ|xÇw tÇw T _ÉäxÜ Copyright © December 2007, Tressie Lockwood Cover art by Yvette A. Lynn © December 2007 Amira Press, LLC Baltimore, MD 21216 www.amirapress.com No part of this e-book may be reproduced or shared by any electronic or mechanical means, including but not limited to printing, file sharing, and email, without prior written permission from Amira Press.

Prologue “I’m sorry, Asia, but I don’t think it’s working out between us.” Leon held up his hands in defeat, as if he had been battling making it work with me all this time. Forget about the fact that I stood by him while he was trying to get his music career off the ground. Now, it just wasn’t working? “I know what this is about, Leon. That I wanted to wait until we were sure of our feelings before being intimate?” Even as I said the words, I wanted to drop to the floor and wrap my arms around his well-toned rich mocha legs to beg him not to leave me. I had more dignity than that. “Admit it,” I demanded. “That’s not it. I just feel like we’re going two different directions right now.” He wouldn’t look me in the eye. The loser knew how much I loved him. At the tears I fought to swallow, he became angry. “Look, you know how it is, Asia. A man has needs. How long did you think we’d be together without having sex? I’m sorry, but I have to go.” With that, he walked out my door, all his stuff he’d left at my house in hopes that I would ask him to just spend the night was packed in a box under his arm. And that’s what I got for holding out, for being raised by a mother who thought I should keep myself rather than jump into bed with the first man who showed interest. Good idea, Ma. Thanks. The tears flowed for days.

Chapter One I woke up with the sun shining on my face, silken sheets caressing my body and the enticing scent of a man’s cologne clinging to my pillow. The only problem with this slow lazy awakening was that my bedroom window faced west, I didn’t own any silk sheets and I’d never had a man in my bed. With this jarring realization that something was wrong, I came fully awake only to find my situation went from questionable to alarming. I was buck naked beneath the umber colored sheet and next to me, snoring softly, was a man. His unruly dark brown hair curled on his neck and around his forehead like a young boy’s. I couldn’t help but think how cute it was, especially with long sooty lashes resting against his cheeks in sleep and the strong jaw line with a five o’clock shadow gracing his chin. The problem was, I’d never seen this man before in my life, and had no recollection of how I ended up in this bed or this house for that matter. Fear of what had happened to me the night before tightened the muscles of my stomach. All warm and cozy feelings left me. What happened last night? I inched further away from him and then nearly cried out when I realized I was sore between my legs. No, no, no! I couldn’t have, not with this man I didn’t know. Did he? My mind would not form the words. Glancing around for my clothes and still moving to the edge of the bed as carefully as possible to keep from waking him, I saw that the room was designed for a man. Earth tones, strong sturdy furniture and clothes strewn about every available surface, none of which were mine. Tucking the covers around me, I bent over the side of the bed. Nothing. While I chewed my nail, trying to figure out what to do, the phone rang. I nearly fell on my face in surprise. Soon I heard his deep voice with a sexy British accent on the answering machine telling the caller to leave a message. Well, he couldn’t be all bad, could he? He still used the old-fashioned answering machine instead of the phone company’s. And then the pouty voice of a woman came on. “Colin, where are you? I missed you yesterday. Call me.” I frowned. Colin? A memory flashed in my mind from the night before. The man in the bed I’d just left, smiling with confidence, “Hi, I’m Colin.” In a hurry, I had crashed head long into him, and then became fully aware of the steel he hid beneath every inch of his skin. The breath left my body, and I thought he would let me go, but his arms encircled me, holding me prisoner against his chest. When he didn’t immediately free me, I’d looked up into his rugged, sexy face. I’d lost the ability to speak, and that’s when he told me his name. No more of what happened between us would come to mind, but obviously the man was a player. One woman in his bed, another on the phone. A few swallows and deep breaths

held back my tears. All these years, I had kept myself, waiting for the right man. Now, I’d tossed away my virginity like some slut. And worse, I couldn’t even remember it. A door stood to my left and I finally had to let the covers fall to check it out. Spotting the toilet within, I moved to enter when I heard a beep. My cell. I swiped it up before darting into the security of the bathroom. Bare feet on the tile floor was not too special, but I ignored the sensation while I speed dialed my best friend. On the fifth ring, Diamond picked up. “Yeah?” Her voice was thick with sleep. “Diamond, I think I’m in trouble, girl,” I whispered. She perked up. “What’s up? Where are you?” “I don’t know. I don’t remember.” Turning toward the mirror, I caught sight of my hair. The short bob with long layers looked a mess. I ran my fingers through it while I spoke. “The last thing I recall is when we were at the club and you all were pointing out some guy for me to pick up for my...you know.” Diamond laughed, “Yeah, somebody to pop your cherry. I guess you found him then?” I grunted, “I guess I did, but I don’t remember. Did you see the guy I left with?” Something crashed in my friend’s house. I could just picture her trying to unfurl herself from the sheets, not unlike I had done on unsteady legs. Drinking was not for me. Not once in the very few times I’d indulged had I been able to hold my liquor. Finally, Diamond answered. “You chickened out. We had you a fine brother to go home with, but your ass turned and hightailed it out of there, telling us you were going home.” I shrieked and then covered my mouth, peaking into the bedroom to see if the guy was awake. He wasn’t. “You let me leave drunk?” I snapped into the phone. “No, stupid. You hadn’t even gotten started before you left, which tells me you found some action later.” Diamond and I were close, but sometimes she got on my last nerve. She was more interested in whether I had slept with some guy than whether I was safe. Well, I guess if I was on the phone, she knew I was okay. I guess to be fair, my losing my virginity in a rash one night stand wasn’t really Diamond’s idea. It was more ouR other girlfriend’s, Kim and Keisha. In the light of day, it was ludicrous. “Okay, okay. Look,” I sat down on the side of the tub and then jumped up. The chilly surface had nearly frozen my rear. “I woke up this morning in this guy’s house, in his bed. I’m naked and have no idea where my clothes are. And . . .” I didn’t get a chance to finish. A woman’s voice rang through the house. Oh, no! This can’t be happening! Was he married? With Diamond shouting into the phone I placed on the sink, I tiptoed out to the bedroom and pressed my ear to the bedroom door.

“Colin,” an older woman called in a muffled voice. “I’m in a day earlier. Wake up, son.” Son. I wasn’t sure if this was better or worse than being found by a wife. What would his mother think if she found some black woman naked in her son’s bedroom, even if she was one quarter Chinese? I didn’t want to find out. Somehow I couldn’t bring myself to face either one of them. I needed to find my clothes and get the hell out of there.

Chapter Two I tried dislodging the sheet from around my apparent lover, but he began mumbling and groaning as if he would wake. Looking up, I saw that the bureau which might have something I could slip into was on the far side of the bed. Shoot. I bent to grab an article of clothing from a chair when he mumbled behind me. “Baby?” Not looking to see what I grabbed, I bolted to the door and slipped into the hallway. While I listened to for Colin’s mother, I held up the clothing. Shorts. Big ones at that. I was tall for a woman, being five foot ten, but I was just a little too thin. His clothes would never fit and even big ones would never cover both my snatch and my boobs. Soon I was clutching a bunch of material in my hand to hold on the shorts while inching along the corridor. I hoped to locate the dress I was wearing last night. If I really did sleep with a stranger, maybe we were so hot and heavy into it, we had undressed along the way to his bedroom. That’s what they did in the movies anyway. Unfortunately, when I made it to the living room unseen, it was to find the place spic and span with the scent of pinecones in the air. His mother must already be at work doing what she’d probably been doing all his life—cleaning up behind him. Frustrated, I allowed my gaze to wander around the room, settling on the mantle above the fireplace. Pictures of what I assumed were family members covered the surface. I shuffled toward it not wanting to discover that he had a wife who just happened to be out of town this weekend. Almost every one was of Colin in various places, on ships, in snow, at a cabin—traveling a lot must be nice. Two pictures were of an older woman I assumed to be his mother and one old one, a younger version of Colin. From the faded old-fashioned type photo, it must be his dad when he was about Colin’s age. I breathed a sigh of relief only to catch it again when I heard footsteps in the hall. I jettisoned across the room with the shorts slipping off my rear, darting through to the next room to hide behind a wide chair. “Colin?” his mother called. “Is that you?” Her voice came closer. “Mum,” A yawn distorted Colin’s voice. Peeking around the chair, I saw that he had come in behind her in the living room. They stood in front of the mantle where I’d just been. Colin had tossed on jogging pants, but his chest was bare. Immediately, I had another flash back. This time of me stroking that glorious chest as bold as anything. “You’re the one that’s nervous,” I had teased him. He chuckled, showing even white teeth. “Me? Never. He winked and pulled me close. “I guess it will be an evening of firsts for both of us. Me with an African American woman and you a virgin. Though I admit it could be a little bit more romantic, don’t you think?”

I had taken another fortifying swallow of the wine he’d provided me. How stupid could that be? “Well, I’m tired of holding myself for some mystery man who may never come along. I’m twenty-four after all.” His eyebrows had gone up falsely mocking, “Old.” “So why are you doing this?” I questioned. “You don’t know me from Eve. I could be crazy, a stalker.” He grinned again, holding me tighter, so that I felt his hard member twitching in his pants. Desire made me weak. Colin kissed me once briefly before answering. “Because you’re beautiful, and I’d be lying if I said I’d never wondered what it would be like. . . .” “Me too.” And that was true. I didn’t share it with Diamond or any of my other girlfriends, but I had always wanted a white man. Maybe it was growing up reading romance novels with white heroes. I guess I was conditioned to want it, but the fact remained that on the same night I was determined to lose the prude persona the girls had labeled me with, I’d also met a man who was the perfect one to do the deed with. Unfortunately, that was all I could remember. I had entered this crazy situation willingly. Now what? I focused again on my present situation just as Colin was asking his mother about me. “Um, mum,” he hesitated, “did you see . . . anyone here in the house?” “Anyone? What do you mean, Colin?” If I wasn’t crouched like a fool behind the chair, it would have been funny. And now that I remembered more of what happened the night before, I was too embarrassed to come out of hiding. What would I say as to why I was hiding naked behind a chair? And what kind of woman gets so smashed she can’t remember her first time. That’s what I get for letting my crazy friends influence me. I rolled my eyes, compressed my lips and crawled on hands and knees to the kitchen. Across the expanse, on the other side of a beautiful marble-toped island, was an open door. Wondering if it led to a laundry room, I sped across the kitchen. Apparently, Murphy’s Law could not afford to let me go in this situation rife with opportunity. A mop had fallen over into my path, but I didn’t see it. I stubbed my toe on the handle, tripped as I bent to nurse the pained digit and fell headlong onto the floor with the side of my head bumping the door closed. “What was that?” I heard Colin’s mother cry. “I’ll check it out.” Colin’s voice had sounded in the hallway.

I jumped to my feet, yanked open the door and shut myself inside. The room turned out to be just what I hoped—the laundry room. A washing machine was swishing water, suds and clothes around. The dryer was empty. My heart sunk.

Chapter Three Standing there considering whether I wanted to yank open the washer to see if my slinky red dress was in there or clutch the doorknob in my hand to keep anyone from finding me, I realized what a fool I was being. I was a grown woman, who should have been handling this situation with dignity and self-confidence. So with this less then encouraging thought, I hiked up the shorts and knotted them in one fist, while slinging an arm across my bare breasts. A true photo moment. The knob turned and there he was, more handsome than I’d thought the night before. I still didn’t remember the act, but I was recalling little snatches of conversation and the way he smiled, how it lit up his puppy brown eyes. He leaned against the door frame, a half grin on his face. “Hi there.” I tried to look nonchalant. “Hey. Have you seen my clothes?” His gaze dropped to my body, “In a guest room where we left them. Hmm, from where I stand, you don’t need them. My shorts look great on you.” “Don’t be silly. I need my clothes, so I can leave. And quick before your mother catches me,” I grumbled. The man didn’t seem to see the need to hurry with the click of his mother’s heels on the cobblestone tiles not far away. As she neared, I was practically bouncing with nerves. Colin, the bum, was loving it. “Why don’t you move your hand so I can get a really good show,” he drawled with that accent that was making me weak in the knees. I rolled my eyes. He had another suggestion. “In fact, why don’t you move both hands.” “Look.” I was getting testy with the situation now. “I don’t know exactly what happened between us last night, but—” “You don’t remember?” His eyes were wide. Embarrassment crept up my neck, making the hair there stand on end. Before I could admit the truth again, painful as it was, he held up a finger and slipped out of the room. I could overhear his conversation as he didn’t shut the door completely. “Oh yes, mum, I forgot to tell you Auntie Faye rang. She wants you to ring her back. And give me a minute won’t you? I want to change into something else.” His mother seemed about to question why he didn’t just go back to his room, but he shut the door gently as if he didn’t hear. Too soon the dark eyes were trained on my form. “Now, where were we? Oh yes, you were telling me you don’t remember the most incredible sex we’ve ever had.” I sucked my teeth rudely. “Well I had been drinking a little.”

“We both were.” His nonchalance was pissing me off. “As you know, Colin whatever-your-last-name-is, I don’t do this. I don’t jump into bed with a man I don’t know and on the first date. You may think this is funny, but I don’t.” He softened and moved toward me with his arms extended. I stepped back. “Listen, we agreed last night that this was just a physical relationship. We were both exploring, enjoying ourselves. Neither of us wanted to know any more than first names. But we got on so well, I’m thinking we could make a go of it. What do you say?” I was shaking with shock at my own actions. Pressing a hand to my forehead and closing my eyes, I whispered, “A go? No, this . . . this can’t happen again.” “Why not? You may not remember everything, but I have the feeling you known it was good.” The low rumble from the washing machine suddenly stopped. The silence was deafening. At least it would have been had my heart not been thrumming in my ears. I spotted a basket of clothing still to be washed on top a table against the wall. On top were plaid boxers. “It was to only be sex, a one night stand. And yet, you brought me to your house.” He shrugged, “I never said I was a pro at this. Besides, I hate motels.” Truth be told, so did I. And something told me I had been relieved to have my first time be in a personable home rather than a cheesy motel where who knows how many people had done it before us. Then I remembered the phone call. “Never done it before, huh? Somehow the sultry voice on your answering machine makes me doubt that.” I shrugged, wanting him to realize I couldn’t care less about his love life. What was done, was done. Even if I didn’t remember the event, I wasn’t a virgin any longer. Colin rested his hands on my shoulders, sending a shiver down over my body. “I can probably guess who might have called. I didn’t check the messages before coming to find you, but I am not involved with anyone right now. That’s not how I do things.” I tried to pull away, but he held on. “You are cheated if you can’t even remember what happened last night.” He moved closer, the heat from his body warming mine. “Well it was a one time thing anyway and—” “Our plan can change. We could enjoy each other until we lose interest,” he interrupted. “I don’t see why we can’t have a repeat, make you some interesting memories beyond

this one?” When his lips touched mine, a shock of pleasure bolted through me. He may very well have been right about our enjoying each other. Just his kiss curled my toes. Colin took hold of both my hands and pushed them down to my sides. As the shorts slid to the floor at our feet his lips captured my nipple in a suckle that made me moan and arch tighter against him. When he lifted his head, I was out of breath, too disoriented to speak. He smiled watching me, knowing his effect on my body. Men were so arrogant, yet so damn sexy sometimes. I found that I didn’t regret anything we may have done. “So what do you say? A do over? And over?” he queried. On impulse, as I must have done the night before, I nodded. “Yes. Why not? I’m a big girl.” From the feel of the solid rod caught between us, I was ready to explore him all over again, but he held me away from him with a regretful look in his eyes. “We’ll have to pick this up at your house maybe. As you’ve already experienced, my mum’s in town. She may demand I run her all around town during the day, but I’m determined to have my nights.” He winked. “And that will be spent in bed with you. So, let me get your clothes, and we’ll get you back home. Who knows, maybe you can meet her before she leaves.” I shook my head. “Let’s not go overboard. We both know what this is, and it doesn’t include meeting mothers.” I agreed to becoming lovers. I was done with relationships for now, because I was not in the market to get hurt again There would be absolutely no strings attached. Was it crazy? As crazy as hell, but I was doing it anyway. Just two consenting adults enjoying sex. The night couldn’t come fast enough.

Chapter Four “So who is he, Asia?” Diamond demanded. “Tell me everything, and what was up with you not knowing where you were?” I hesitated to answer. I mean, I was almost sure my friend would support me whatever my choices were, but I was not in the mood to rehash the craziness I’d gone through in Colin’s house, nor the few moments of bliss when he demonstrated some of what we had enjoyed the night before. By the time he had drawn his hand from between my legs while I leaned against his broad chest, I was hooked. Nothing could keep me from making him my ongoing lover. “Nobody special.” I brushed her off. “Just somebody I ran across when I dropped into another bar.” Better not to admit that I’d literally ran the man down on the street. “Without the twins watching my every move, I was able to go through with it.” Diamond burst out laughing, so shrill several people in the salon turned around. My friend might have been on the loud side, but she was beautiful, as rare as the gem she was named after. Her hair was naturally long, thick and the envy of every woman who laid eyes on her. Its honey color perfectly matched the exotic hazel eyes she was born with. Sometimes I was jealous too because she had a body to match, blessed with big breasts and a healthy butt. My boobs were nothing special, being on the small side, and I’ve already said how thin I was—only the smallest of curves for a butt. Diamond had once said I had a white girl’s behind, which ticked me off, but what could I do? Nothing, but love myself as I was. “Uh huh. Yeah, okay, Asia. Whatever,” Diamond laughed. “I’ll find out soon enough ‘cause your ass can’t keep it a secret when you fall in love.” I frowned, “What are you talking about?” She jumped to her feet, planted her hands on her hips and crooned, “Oh, my man is so fly. He’s all that. Gives me anything I want.” She snapped her fingers in the air and rolled her eyes. “That is until he finds out you’re not giving it up.” I laughed it off, but I was a little embarrassed. “First of all, Miss, I don’t talk like that. And second of all, I’m not in love. This isn’t about that. It’s purely physical. Now if you’re finished yapping all over creation about my personal life—” “Asia, who do you think you’re kidding, girl. You fall in love at the drop of a hat. And it never works out because you don’t put out. Shoot, a brother likes a woman he can wrap his arms around to keep him warm in his bed. Among other things.” Diamond would have continued to rant on about my ignorance of the ways of men if the shampoo girl didn’t come over to get me. Relief flooded my mind to be away. I’d known the moment Diamond said “brother” I would betray the fact that Colin wasn’t a brother.

In this day and age, it wasn’t a big deal. Even TV shows had interracial couples more and more. But for my little group of friends, I wasn’t so sure. Especially when it came to the twins. Keisha and Kim weren’t really twins but rather first cousins. Yet, they were just alike—hardcore man-eaters. Those two women had used so many men, it was a wonder they didn’t have an angry mob of screwed over men chasing them down. Then again, maybe the men liked it. As I settled into the seat at the sink and leaned my head back to enjoy the gentle massage of my scalp and warm water, I wondered what a woman like me was doing with a group of friends like mine. I suppose it was all Diamond. Growing up next door to her meant I had a ready made friend, even if we did have very different upbringings. My conservative parents kept a tight reign on me and my brother, while Diamond’s father had let her get away with anything. How I had envied her even then. Now, for the most part, I was content and happy in my life, which meant more to me than being a glorious beauty that had men drooling over me. I’d had my share of boyfriends, and regretfully, like Diamond had broadcast to the room, I’d been dropped more than I cared to admit for lack of intimacy. Maybe it was better this way. No strings, no hearts to get in the way. Just pleasure. **** On Friday, I arrived home in time to realize I still needed to clean up, shower and change before Colin showed. After seeing his almost mansion-sized house, I really didn’t want him to step up to my rowhouse with its seven by seven inch front porch with its threadbare outdoor carpet covering it. At least the inside was decent—after I tossed piles of mail on a closet shelf, put out the trash and ran the vacuum over the floor. Still not completely happy with the evident differences in our financial status, I hurried to up to my bedroom to get ready. An hour later, I was yanking open my front door which of course chose that moment to swell and stick. “Sorry,” I muttered, pushing back my shoulders and tilting my chin higher. He grinned as he stepped in, and my stomach fluttered. “I hope we’re not going to have a full night of you apologizing for your home.” My eyes widened. “What?” Talk about direct. How could a man dressed in obviously expensive clothing fit in my middle class neighborhood? Yet, Colin did. He seemed at home right away. He slipped off his coat, tossed it neatly across the arm of my couch and then moved to pull me against him. “I’m here for you, but I can already see the words forming on your sweet lips. Forget about everything except me, pleasing me.” I cocked an eyebrow at his nerve. “You?”

He nodded. “Yes. Because I’m forgetting about everything except pleasing you.” Colin might be direct, but he knew exactly what to say. And if the bulge in his pants was any indication, my thin body turned him on just fine. I pressed in closer, running my hands down over his rear and squeezing him into me. Hungry flames leapt up over my body. He groaned, “You’re a very bold woman for so little experience.” “Oh, I’m nervous alright,” I admitted, “but I’ve been horny for a long time, and there’s no sense pretending. You did say we already did this.” “Several times.” He captured my lips in a searing kiss, his tongue dipping between them. For a while, the only sound was the clock ticking in the kitchen and our soft moans. Too soon he pulled back. “As pretty as that lilac blouse you’re wearing is, I’d love it if it was on the floor instead of on you. I’ve missed your breasts.” With trembling fingers, I slowly unbuttoned my blouse, one of my favorites. I would not be tossing it on the floor for my messy lover, but it did turn me on knowing he was impressed with my breasts. I know the points were so tight, they ached against the satiny material of my bra. They wanted to be in his deft hands as much as he wanted to get to them. Finally uncovered from the waist up, I stood still for Colin to watch me. If possible, the brown in his eyes deepened. His pupils dilated and he ran the tip of his tongue across his lips. Yet he didn’t touch me. “Take off everything else, except your panties.” When I was in my bright red panties, which set off my caramel skin nicely, if I do say so myself, Colin said nothing. He didn’t move or breathe from what I could tell. Feeling frisky, I hooked my thumbs in the band of my panties and wiggled my hips. Then I turned away from him and bent forward slightly to stick out my butt. He came to life, and pulled me against his hard-on. “Asia,” he breathed. “I need you right now.”

Chapter Five My queen-sized bed creaked as we lay down side-by-side. I bit too hard into my bottom lip when Colin leaned up to remove his sweater and ease his pants down over solid hips. His tanned skin only extended to his torso, arms and legs. The pale skin of his rear drew me to explore more of him, but when my gaze stuttered on his erection, I became afraid. I remembered the soreness that first morning after and had to wonder if it would hurt again. He read my mind, drew me into his embrace. “Don’t be afraid. I’ll go slow, but I’m sure it won’t hurt.” His hand slid along my inner thigh, squeezing all along the way up to my moist spot. Colin caught my earlobe in a teasing bite before whispering, “As wet as you are, I’m sure I’ll glide right in.” I didn’t have a chance to wonder if it was true. He took my hand to guide me to his shaft. “Please me, Asia.” Even as he groaned the words, his fingers parted my folds and slid deep inside me. I was barely conscious of more than the sensation of his stroke, but I did my best to follow suit. I wanted him to feel his world shift as I was experiencing. My strokes on his shaft were long and slow. Fascinated, I watched the expressions flit across his face as his hand went slack in me and his head dipped back. A giddy power grew inside knowing for once I was running the show. Colin was in my control. I pushed him flat against the pillows and climbed up on him while my hand continued to run up and down his extended length. Just a few drops of his juice spilled from the top, and I found myself wanting to have a taste. But I held back, not that confident. Instead, I continued to work him, while kissing along his chest. The muscles tensed beneath my feathered kisses, the curly hair there tickling my nose. Colin groaned my name, bunching his fists in the sheets. Should I put him in me? I’d seen plenty of smutty movies, knew what to do. When, was the question. Again, Colin seemed to read my mind. “Do whatever you want to me, honey.” My heart pounded in my ears. Snapshots of Colin and I intimate in his bed flitted through my mind. I knew I had ridden him fast and hard, still I hesitated. And then I remembered what Diamond had said, not knowing she was hurting my feelings a little at her words. My boyfriends had all dropped me eventually when I wasn’t ready to make love. That was there shallowness. And I deserved better, but Colin and I weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend. We were lovers. I not only wanted to, I needed to please my lover and myself. As carefully as possible, so not to miss the mark or look like I didn’t know what I was doing, I guided him inside my warm tunnel. While it was a tight fit, the sensation nearly sent me in orbit. When all nine inches were buried deep, I let go and began to rock back and forth. His name sprung to my lips, but I only allowed a groan to emit.

“Asia, honey, you’re so tight,” Colin muttered. His eyes, narrowed to slits, glittered up at me. “Slow down, or I’ll come too soon.” “I don’t care. I want it all now,” I pleaded, dignity out the window. “Come now, Colin. Fill me up. I feel like I’m going to explode.” He nodded, lifted his hands with his fingers spread wide to me. I threaded mine through his and lay down against his chest while our pelvises worked together glove-tight and in unison. “That’s exactly what I want you to do, explode. Before I come. Now, slow and easy, honey. Feel all of me, inside your sweet box, inside your mind.” My heart raced with his sensual words and tantalizing voice. I felt my climax steadily climbing. So badly, I wanted to speed up again, to bring it in a rush of aching yet wonderful lightning all through my body. “Colin-please-now,” I gasped. “Hold on. Slowly.” By that time, I was gasping and jerking against him. The pleasure was so intense, I didn’t think it was possible to handle it, to keep going up and up. Surely, my climax would come soon and this sweet torture could stop. Colin was so long and so wide, every bit of him stretched me and filled me until I did feel like he was a part of me, even in my mind. His gentle guidance, his soft-spoken encouragement brought me to the brink of tears. I wanted to hide my face in his neck, but he commanded me to look at him. “Come on, honey. Look in my eyes. Even while you come, don’t look away.” “I can’t.” “You can. Honey, look at me.” What was he trying to do to me? Make me fall in love? Once my gaze locked with his, I couldn’t have looked away had I tried. When the waves hit, I closed my eyes once but then I was lost in him. My body belonged to Colin and his to me. For an instant, right after he came in me while I still rode high, I was him, and he was me, as one person. This couldn’t be how it was supposed to go. People had sex all the time. This felt like more. I collapsed against his chest, sniffling. He wrapped his arms around me, squeezing tight but not hurting me. His heart pounded in my ear, comforting me, making me feel safe. I had always been fiercely independent, even pleading to walk to kindergarten alone when I was five years old. Of course, my mother refused, but even then I wanted to prove myself to be strong and self-reliant. Still, being held by Colin at that moment was like it was okay for someone else to lead the way. That scared me, coming on the heels of my power trip when I stroked his erection. None of my conflicting feelings made sense, but now wasn’t the time to question it.

Colin stroked my back, running his fingertips over my spine. Chills chased each other, making me tremble in his embrace. “Cold?” We were both still naked. The covers must have fallen to the floor. I uttered a sigh of contentment, despite the fact that I still had painter’s tape lining the wood work in my room in preparation for adding color to the stark white walls. My computer table was just that, a table and not a desk. And my two dressers were mix-matched. I didn’t care. “No, I’m okay. You?” “No.” Colin yawned. “It’s kind of late. I could stay the night . . .” “Sure.”

Chapter Six I know it was just sex, nothing more. But after spending practically every night in each other’s arms in my bed, and then later when Colin’s mother had gone back home, in his bed, this fact was getting harder for me to remember. Seven wonderful weeks, minus the two occasions I’d refused to entertain him when Tom was visiting. I had floated on cloud nine when Colin had called me each of the four days of my period to find out if it was gone yet. Though I told myself he was just really horny, the tender tone in his voice made my heart believe more. I was such a fool, but I couldn’t help it. “Hi,” Colin said. “Hi.” “Dinner tonight?” I sighed. No matter who much I tried to keep us on a sex-only basis, the man insisted on charming me and trying to get dates out of me. We had never eaten together, even when we spent time at each other’s house. Normally, Colin arrived at my house so late dinner was long over, and I did the same with him. We never went out. We never spoke about ourselves, and the only way I knew that his last name was Davies was because I’d spotted it on a piece of mail he’d left laying on the counter. He was unwavering in his quest to deepen our relationship, while I was bound and determined to keep it impersonal. This time, I gave in. “Um, at your place?” That wasn’t so out of the ordinary, and there was no chance of a romantic setting to lull me into letting down my guard. “No, at a restaurant. And I really hope you say yes because I already made reservations at Antoine’s.” It was probably my imagination that he seemed to be holding his breath waiting for my answer. There was no point in fighting the man. I played it cool. “Sure, I could eat. Long day. I didn’t feel like cooking anyway.” Inside, I was terrified of falling for him. He was just too good. “Great, I’ll pick you up at six-thirty.” “Sure.” **** “What?”

“Hmm?” I glanced up into Colin’s smiling face as he held me while we swayed on Antoine’s dance floor. One of his thick brows was cocked up toward his hairline, an inquisitive glint in his eye. “Didn’t I tell you?” He swirled me around and then dipped me backward over his arm. The feeling was so much fun, I wondered why I hadn’t done it sooner. “I can read minds, you know,” he joked. “Really? And what am I thinking?” He pretended to concentrate. “You’re thinking you’d like to ask me questions about myself, to get to know me better” Were we still dipping? People were beginning to stare. Colin pulled me upright and we continued to dance around the glossy floor, amid couples dressed in their finest. I could never afford this place. “Well, if I were thinking that, and I’m not admitting I was,” I laughed, “that would be breaking our rules, so I would never ask.” “And if our rules were suspended just for tonight?” What rules had he been following anyway? Something told me what he really wanted was to ask me personal questions. But he was right. I wanted to know what line of work he was in, that the ritzy life was not a problem. I wanted to know if he’d ever been married or if he had any kids, although I hadn’t seen any evidence of pictures in his house. But in this day and time, that didn’t mean anything. My mind was brimming with questions. Which question to ask first. The rules could descend again if either of us grew uncomfortable with the inquiries, which meant me. “Okay, what do you do?” “Oh a little of this, a little of that.” “Colin!” I frowned and pursed my lips. “You know you look so cute when you do that. Maybe I should annoy you more,” he chuckled. “Or I could choose one of the many men who annoy me less to share my bed.” I tapped a finger against my lips as if I was considering it. From the corner of my eye, I thought I saw my own annoyance mirrored on his face. “Did we discuss having only one another while we’re lovers?” he demanded. My heart was warmed. Just the mere mention of other men had him jealous. I tried suppressing that warmth, but it spread without my permission. Damn that sexy Brit! Colin as my fullfledged boyfriend. That could be so good. I tried to remember the leaving me hurt part that always came later.

I liked to believe that the other men had dropped me only because of intimacy issues, but I’d had them leave me in as little as a week or two. When I thought about it that way, I had to think something was seriously wrong with me, maybe apart—or in addition to— my stick figure. I gave him a non-committal grin, enjoying his jealousy. “I’m a software engineer,” he finally admitted. My eyes widened. “Interesting. And do you have any kids? Ever been married?” Colin burst out laughing. “Wow, I was right. You’re full of questions. I don’t have any kids, though I think I’d like some.” He shrugged. “Never met the right woman to marry. You know the old story.” We continued to chat, with me talking about my job as a medical records clerk. It didn’t pay a lot, but I’d been able to save to buy my own house, and had recently paid off my car. Obviously, I wasn’t where I wanted to be financially, but I had come a long way. And I hoped to get my freelance writing off the ground within the next few months. “Siblings?” I questioned, after telling him about my multicultural family and my younger brother who was away in the service. “A sister,” he admitted. “Caitlin lives in Surrey with her husband and two daughters. Mum seems to like flying back and forth between her, my aunt and me now that my father’s gone.” “I’m sorry,” I whispered, squeezing his arm. He nodded, the hint of sadness fading quickly from his eyes. He seemed like the type that never let anything get him down for long. I liked that outlook, and I really liked Colin. After dinner, we walked the downtown streets toward the inner harbor. Warmth spread over my body when Colin took my hand and threaded his fingers between mine. He smiled, and my breaths grew shallow. The night was only getting better. “Asia? Hey, Asia!” I stiffened. It was Diamond.

Chapter Seven I yanked my hand from Colin’s and clutched his arm in nervousness. He looked down at me wide-eyed. “What’s wrong? Who’s that?” I frowned, “My best friend.” He smiled. “Cool. I’d like to meet her.” He started forward, but I held on. Though I was normally happy to see Diamond, and certainly it made no difference to me that she was usually dressed in something form-fitting and revealing, I found I didn’t want the effect to be cast on Colin. On a cool night in the Fall, Diamond was poured into a shimmer micro fiber dress that barely extended down past her cootchie. The luscious hair, the eyes, how could a hotblooded man like Colin not see her and want her. Diamond had been roping in men with no effort for years. My friend bounced toward us and hugged me, then turned to Colin. “And who is this?” Her thick curly lashes dropped down over her eyes as she let her gaze practically eat my lover alive. Jealousy made me press a hand to his hard abs while taking a step slightly in front of him. “This is my friend, Colin. Colin, this is Diamond.” They exchanged greetings before Diamond snatched my arm to drag me to the side, with barely an excuse. I glanced over at the small group of people she had been walking with, and didn’t recognize any of them. I wondered where the twins were tonight. “Damn, Asia. That’s your lover? He is the finest white man I’ve ever seen. I can see why you’ve been ducking me for the last few weeks.” She glanced over at Colin again and waved manicured nails in his direction. “I don’t go that way, but I could sure make an exception for some of that.” Irritation set in. I wanted her to go, so I could try to regain some of the peace and enjoyment Colin and I had shared, especially knowing we would end up at my house or his, cuddling in bed. Or better yet, before his fireplace. I made a mental note to suggest it. “Yes, Diamond. That’s my lover, and I have not been ducking you.” Then I smiled. “You of all people should know now that I’ve had a taste of what I’ve been missing, I can’t get enough.” She guffawed, her voice echoing off the buildings of the near-empty street. “You go, girl. I don’t blame you. Watch out when your parents find out though.” “Oh no, I’m not telling them anything about Colin.”

“Because he’s white?” “Because we’re not married.” I kissed her cheek. “Gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow.” “You better.” She spun on her heel to head back to her friends, but not before she gave Colin a wink and blew him a kiss. I told myself that was just her way and it meant nothing. **** “Good morning, Asia.” My eyes popped open, and I moved automatically out of Colin’s hold. We had ended up coming back to my house instead of his because I was closer to the harbor, and an intense sexual need had hit us hard after much heavy petting in a dark corner. I reached a hand up to tug fingers through my hair, while I clutched the cordless to my ear with the other. I felt like my mother could see that I was naked in bed with a man. “Mom, what are you doing calling so early?” “It’s ten in the morning, Asia,” she stated flatly. “You’re an early bird normally. What kept you up late that you would sleep in so long?” I heard the snap in her voice, and knew she knew. That big mouth Diamond had told her, starting trouble. I wanted to say, “Mom, I’m a grown woman and I do what I please.” But instead, I mumbled, “Nothing really.” “Well, sweetheart, I’m just calling because I wanted to see if you’d like to have lunch with me today. We don’t see each other enough, and your father’s gone fishing with his buddies today, so I’m here alone.” I would have thought she would start right into me, but perhaps she was holding the attack until I was across a restaurant table from her, unable to get away. On the other hand this could just be a coincidence. It was bad of me to suspect Diamond of snitching as if we were in high school again. “I’m not sure of my plans for the day yet.” At my words, Colin reached for me again, to tuck me back inside his arms. He nuzzled my neck, causing a chill to go down my back. At the same time, he tucked his morning erection between my legs. “Ah . . .” “Asia? Are you okay?” My mother’s voice seemed distant. I was fully aware of the man behind me. Moving my hips forward, I kept him from entering me. I was not going to be having sex while talking to my mother.

“Yes, I’m fine. Mom, I have to go. I think I heard the bell ring.” Quickly, I tried ending the call, praying she’d accept. “I’ll give you a call back in about an hour and let you know about lunch.” “Okay, then. And Asia?” “Yes?” My mother sighed into the phone. “We’ll talk about this man you’ve been seeing.” She hung up. Anger flared in me so fierce, I shoved Colin away and stood up. Diamond had been running her mouth. “What’s wrong, honey? Did I upset you? Not in the mood?” Colin looked too hot for his own good. As mad as I was, I wanted to drown myself with his body and his mouth. He was still erect, even after I shoved him. “Are you always in the mood?” I asked testily. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, stretched and stood. Moving past me toward the door, he stopped and planted a kiss on the top of my head. “I’ll be in the shower, grumpy. If you want to talk about what’s got you pissed, you know where to find me. And if you want something else,” he tweaked one of my nipples, “definitely come to me.” I rolled my eyes and flopped back down on the bed. Speed-dialing Diamond, I waited through her karaoke before her voicemail picked up. “Diamond, I can’t believe you told my mother about Colin. I don’t know what the problem is, but we need to talk. Call me.” With a vicious jab, I disconnected, tossed the phone on the bed and strolled naked out of my room to the bathroom. If I was going to have a rough afternoon, I was going to make the most of the morning, and that would be spent with my legs wrapped around a very hot white man.

Chapter Eight Diamond managed to avoid me, and like a child, I avoided my mother. With Colin having to go into the office, I had to find something to do with my Saturday afternoon. We hadn’t talked about spending the night together, so I assumed that was free too. The half a dozen unfinished projects in my home came to mind, so I headed out to the hardware store to pick up a few things. Several hours later, I was hard at work painting my bedroom. The lilac I’d chosen went perfectly with my deep purple shag carpet. My face and clothes were spattered, but the last stroke went on easy. I stepped back to enjoy the view. Now, all I needed was some pictures and a new bedroom set. Unfortunately, any extra money I’d had went to the other supplies. The phone rang, and I tossed my paintbrush in the paint tray to answer. “Hello?” “What’s up, Asia?” “Kim.” I was annoyed it wasn’t Diamond calling me back. Maybe she had an excuse that didn’t include ducking me out on purpose. “Hey, have you heard from Diamond?” She seemed to hesitate, irritating me more that she was planning to lie. I knew we weren’t as close as she, her cousin and Diamond were, but I expected some consideration. And I was not getting this crap with my friend. Diamond was shallow, but this took the cake. Kim surprised me with her next words. “It’s high time you knew, Asia. You can’t hold on to a man more than five minutes because of Diamond, not because you’re a virgin—were a virgin.” “What!” She could not be serious. “What are you talking about?” “The only reason I’m telling you this is because she screwed me over with this guy I was going after. Frankly, my feeling is that if a woman is not aware of herself and what’s hers at all times, she deserves to get screwed.” Okay, I needed to rethink my choice of friends. “Like I said,” Kim continued, “Diamond broke the rules—stay away from her girlfriend’s man or suffer the consequences. She thought I wouldn’t find out she was sniffing after Andre, my latest. And well . . . I was getting tired of switching up constantly. Andre and I were going to try for a real relationship, you know?” That shocked me. I didn’t think that the twins had it in them for a monogamous relationship. For one of them to get serious was a big deal. I was happy for her, but I needed to get to the point here, the part where Diamond was going after my men. “So what has she been doing?”

“Diamond’s a skank. As soon as you get hot and heavy with a man, she moves in, charms them into bed. Next thing you know, their weak asses break it off with you because they’re feeling guilty. Now, I don’t know how long a real man will stick around with a woman who isn’t giving it up, but still what Diamond does is cruddy.” I sank down on the floor, leaning my back against the side of the bed. With one hand, I picked at the carpet threads absentmindedly. “She sleeps with them?” “Yeah.” “And you and your cousin knew all this time,” I muttered. “For how long?” “Asia . . .” “For how long, Kim! It’s a simple question.” “For years.” The day I met Diamond, we were both around eight years old. I had just started liking boys. There had been a boy I liked who lived down the street, and he liked me too, I thought. A few weeks after meeting Diamond, my unofficial first love told me he liked another girl and he was sorry. The next day, I thought I saw him and Diamond holding hands, but she had told me it was imagination, that they were just friends. What a fool I was. I tried to keep my voice as casual as possible, as not to give any clues on how much I really liked Colin. “And so she’s going after Colin now?” “Do you have to ask?” No, I didn’t have to. I believed every word, not because I just wanted to believe the worse of Diamond, but because she’d never shown me any respect regarding my boyfriends. Now that I thought of it, she was always batting her thick lashes at them, blowing them kisses and winks. I had taken it as her over the top personality. My naivety made me want to vomit. I was no teenage girl, with no common sense. I should have known Diamond was good at manipulating people when she had convinced my parents that she was a good girl and not a whore. After thanking Kim for the heads-up and making a mental note to find new friends, I considered what Diamond’s move would be. Warning Colin about what she might do wouldn’t work. I wanted to catch my ex-best friend in the act. From speaking with Colin earlier, I knew he would be at his office for a bit longer. If I were trying to ensnare a man, I would try for a chance meeting. What better way to meet him, that is assuming she’d learned of his whereabouts for the day and that today would be the day, than to run into him after work. I figured the woman had done her homework. Diamond would be there when Colin left for home, and so would I.

I showered and changed into a comfortable pair of jeans and sneakers. I had considered wearing all black like the spy I was pretending to be, but I had limited amounts of the color in my closet, since I didn’t prefer it. Jeans and a tee were it. Colin’s office was on Preston Street, a fact I didn’t have to learn on accident. Our conversation had developed into more and more personal sharing. There was a chance we could begin to mean more to each other than just lovers. When I drove slowly along the street, glad for the light traffic since it was well after rush hour, I came across Diamond’s bright green Volkswagen, easily recognizable even in the dark. I kept driving until I’d circled the block to park a half street down from Colin’s office building. Five minutes later, and I was ensconced in a tiny shaded alcove on the opposite side of the street, where three metal benches had been installed for employees to take a smoke break outside the offices. Remembering to switch my cell to vibrate, I waited in the chilly night. Only after I’d embarked on this harebrained scheme did I realize that Diamond was the safe one, still locked in her car. I was a woman alone at night with no protection. I pushed away from the tree I had been leaning against to go back to my car when a sound across the street caught my attention. My lover had just exited the building.

Chapter Nine Moving back to the shadows, I wished I was closer so that I could hear what Diamond planned to say to Colin. She scrambled from her car to call to him as he headed, I assumed, to the parking garage next door to his building. She ran on nimble feet, her breasts bouncing and her long hair swinging behind her. I could just imagine what that looked like to a man, probably hard inside two seconds. Diamond hooked her arm through his and made sure to brush one breast against him as she pouted up at him. I ground my teeth. Petite and perfect, Diamond’s hips, ass and breasts were all a man could want. She must have spoken too low, a ploy, for Colin to hear. He dipped his head closer to her, and I knew, got a tantalizing whiff of her perfume. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. With fingernails nearly puncturing my palms at my sides, I marched out of hiding and headed to their side of the street. Then I stopped dead. If I confronted them, then what? Maybe I would put a stop to Diamond stealing Colin tonight, but what about another day? Our friendship was obviously at an end, but Diamond was vindictive. That trait had never been aimed at me, so I tolerated her ways. Now, things were different. There was nothing I could do to be sure she would not locate and seduce Colin later. And really who was I kidding? I could not compete with Diamond. If Colin wanted her, he’d have her. She was offering it on a silver platter. So, like a wimp, I turned on my heel and sprinted in the opposite direction. I circled the small city block as quickly as I could and arrived back at my car from further down the street. As I unlocked my door, I couldn’t help glancing up the street. The two of them were gone. “Easy come, easy go,” I muttered, trying not to care. It didn’t work. The minute my rear hit my seat and the car door slammed closed, I burst into tears. With my hands gripping the steering wheel and my forehead resting against them, I wept. He is only a lover, easily replaceable, I told myself. The tears continued to flow. The buzzing of my cell interrupted my pity-party. I was shocked to find it was Colin. Quickly, I blew my nose and wiped my face. Before, I pressed the green phone symbol, I cleared the lump in my throat. “Hello?” “Hey, honey.” I wanted to curse him out, but he didn’t know I had been there, so I kept a tight reign on myself. “Hey.” One word was all I could manage. “I need to see you right now.” His voice held an urgent tone. I frowned and glanced up the street again, confused. “Now?”

“Yes, there’s something I need to tell you and it can’t wait.” I thought I would throw up. Was he going to tell me it just wasn’t working out between us, that it was fun but we both needed to move on? This whole situation put the times I’d heard those words in sharp perspective. Better to get it over with. “Okay, we can meet for dinner if you like. I’m not far from downtown. Tony’s in about half hour?” “Perfect.” **** Tony’s was packed. A line of people waited in the lobby for a table, and I was thinking it wasn’t the best place for my lover to drop me or me to drop him. I wasn’t planning on causing a scene, but emotions could run high. I was trying to think of an alternative restaurant when Colin squeezed into the crowded lobby. Even in a rumpled suit, tie loosened and stubble forming on his chin, he was so hot I could eat him up. I bit the inside of my cheek and squeezed the life out of my purse to keep from running into his arms. He came to me, pulling me into his arms and kissing me on the lips. Several people cast us curious glances, but I ignored them while I breathed in his scent. “Sorry I’m late. Have you been waiting long?” I shook my head. “No, but I can’t see us getting a table any time soon. What were we thinking coming here on a Saturday night?” “Yeah.” He glanced around. “I admit my head wasn’t on straight.” My stomach hurt. I wasn’t hungry anyway. Before I could make another suggestion, Colin took my hand and weaved his way back to the door. A few minutes later and we were strolling down the street hand-in-hand. I watched him from the corner of my eye, wondering when he would let me have it. Maybe he intended to drop me and then spend the night with Diamond. Normally, we were together each night over the weekend, unless one or the other of us had some prior engagement. I waited silently. Colin threaded his fingers through mine and finally spoke. “You told me you’ve known Diamond for most of your life, since you were seven or eight?” “Yes.” Let him just get to it. “I know . . . I mean . . . I would never want to get in the way of that.” Knowing I should say something to this was easier than pushing words past the sandpaper in my mouth. I swallowed several times, but still couldn’t be sure my voice wouldn’t crack, so I kept quiet.

He looked at me. “You’re not making this easy. Aren’t you going to say something?” My anger ignited. I pulled my hand from his and stopped walking. “What exactly am I supposed to be making easy for you, Colin?” Running his fingers through his hair, his eyes looked a bit wild. He glanced up and down the street, then reached out for me as if he would pull me against him, then changed his mind. “I’m trying to tell you the truth. That Diamond made me a proposition tonight. She offered me her body.”

Chapter Ten I just stood there staring at him, not saying a word. He looked so distressed, I almost felt sorry for him. Almost, but not quite. And then I turned on my heel and walked away. I’m not a confrontational person, and now, after many re-enactments of this same bull, I don’t cry much. When my last boyfriend dumped me, I hurt, and I did what I had to do to get him out of my system. I went out and spent too much money on things I didn’t need, ate a couple of tubs of ice cream, and eventually I got over it. Yet, for the second time tonight, I burst out crying. When Colin called out to me, I picked up my speed, swiping at my face so he wouldn’t see my blubbering. Nothing worked. He was a few inches taller, and his legs were longer. He caught up and spun me into his arms. I fought to get free to no avail. “I’m sorry, so sorry, honey,” he soothed, rubbing my back. “I know you don’t believe me, and that’s what made it so hard to tell you. How can I, a man you barely know and one you’ve only had a physical relationship with, come along and say something that must seem like I’m trying to destroy your relationship with your best friend? But it’s true, I promise it’s true.” I continued to struggle against him. He forced my chin up to kiss me, and I tried to bite him before he pulled back. “Get off of me!” I snapped, fighting to keep my voice low. “Asia, please, honey . . .” “Don’t!” I liked too much how he called me honey, and enjoyed the touch of his body against mine. Stupid body should know to let it go. “I should have known you wouldn’t believe that she came on to me, and why would you? But she did. And when I turned her down, I figured she’d call and give you some lie about me coming on to her. I wanted you to know the truth right away.” He was almost pleading, and through the fog of my pain, I heard his words. “What?” I stopped fighting. “You turned her down?” He looked confused. “Of course, I . . .” His eyes widened. “You’re telling me you were upset because you thought I was dropping you for her?” Embarrassment replaced my tears. His hold had lessened so I slipped from his arms and started walking again. Colin strolled beside me, saying nothing. After a while, his fingers found mine and we held hands. A tear slipped down my cheek, but I brushed it away. “Would you like to stay at my house tonight?” he offered simply. “Yes.”

**** Colin and I didn’t discuss Diamond while we made dinner at his home together. We didn’t discuss her while we ate either. It wasn’t until I lay naked in his arms that the subject came up again. “I’m not denying Diamond is beautiful, but then so are you. And I can’t respect a person who would through away a friendship for sex.” His hold tightened. “I don’t need to have every desirable woman I meet. Besides, you satisfy me better than any woman I’ve ever been with.” He wasn’t speaking of love, but then I wasn’t yet sure if I was ready for that. The devastation I’d felt thinking he had left me for Diamond wasn’t something I relished feeling again. And honestly, I was ready to run now rather than endure that pain later. Maybe I wasn’t the type for sex with no strings. I tried for nonchalance. “Yes, well you’re pretty hot yourself. And you please me too.” He laughed and then grew serious. “When I didn’t go for her offer, she tried telling me you two share everything, and that you wouldn’t mind if she and I slept together.” “I don’t get it. From what my other friend told me, Diamond has been doing this for years. Apparently, every time I had a man in my life, she’s seduced him. Why would she do that to me?” “Maybe she’s jealous of you?” he offered. “Oh come on, Colin. You’ve seen Diamond. And she makes really good money as a dancer in a nightclub. I’ve been wracking my brain, and I just can’t think what I have that she doesn’t. There’s nothing I have that Diamond has showed the least interest in having other than my men.” Colin covered my mouth, cutting off my ramblings with a sweet kiss. When he drew back, he stared down into my eyes. Being there with him felt so right. “I don’t pretend to understand the workings of her mind,” I continued. “The first time she did it we were children. I had nothing and neither did she, except maybe my parents. But she always teased me about how strict my parents were and how lenient her father was. He let her get away with anything.” He rolled me to my back, his gaze roving over my breasts. “Right now, I’m not interested in Diamond’s reasons. What I want is this.” He lowered his head and flicked his tongue over my nipple. I arched my back toward him for more. Colin grinned, then licked the skin in the valley between my breasts.

Tangling my hands in his hair, I pulled him down on top of me, and he parted my legs with his knee to settle between them. Anticipation made me tremble. I wanted him inside me so badly, I ached. “Ready?” he whispered. “Always.” With the expertise of practice, Colin slid his hands behind my knees and lifted my legs. A second after, he eased inch by glorious inch into me. His strokes were long and slow, guiding my passion, commanding it. My body followed his like a trained servant. “Colin.” “I know, honey,” he gasped. A tremor rocked us both. “I know. If I couldn’t have you . . . Damn it, Asia, I need you.” My heart soared. “And I need you. Deeper, Colin. Drive deeper, baby.” Our bodies moved as one, in perfect rhythm. I lifted my head from the bed, so hungry for his kiss. We tongued it until my lips were numb. Then we exploded as one, Colin’s juices filling me while my hips rocked against him and I screamed my orgasm. But Colin wasn’t finished. He pulled back to move to my side. Flipping me so that he was behind me, he lifted one of my legs so that he could enter me again. Yes! With splayed fingers, he stroked a hand across my stomach and held me wedged against his body. Each thrust sent me higher as he rocked deeper and harder against my rear. I screamed loud and long when I came, crying out the name of the man I loved with all my heart.

Chapter Eleven “I can’t believe you’d do this crap to me, Diamond.” I had every intention of controlling my temper, but all I wanted to do was ram a fist in her face. “All these years, our friendship was a lie. Stupid me for not seeing that right at the start.” She waved her hand in the air, apparently not aware that I was two seconds off her ass. “Don’t be so dramatic, Asia. He’s just a man. They all were. And when I meet up with that skank, Kim, I’m going to read her.” “You’re worried about getting Kim back?” I shook my head, incredulous. “I never thought you went in with Kim and Keisha’s outlook on men, that they were just toys to play with. I mean I knew you were wild, but I thought there was some decency inside. You were right there, holding my hand or eating ice cream with me when I was working through the breakups. Damn, what a stupid fool I was. And what a phony you are. You sat there looking me in my face, knowing you were the cause.” “I was doing you a favor!” She could not be serious. I was supposed to thank her for seducing my boyfriends? To be grateful that it was she who was sleeping with them and not some other whore? Unbelievable! I slid back from my chair, drained the last of my drink and slammed the glass down on the table. I had had to hunt for her at her job, ask a guy who worked there to get her to come to my table to talk to me, and yet she was just doing this bull to me as a friend. Whatever. “Diamond, be happy I don’t put you on the floor right here, right now. Because I’d like nothing better than to mess up your money maker. But I’m better than that, better than you.” I got up in her face. From the corner of my eye, I saw a bouncer heading my way. I could just imagine him slinging my narrow behind out on the sidewalk. I better end it now. “Don’t come near me again. Don’t call me, don’t even let me catch sight of you in the distance.” With that, I turned on my heel and weaved through the crowded club with my head held high. I’m not saying it didn’t hurt to lose her. We’d been through a lot, but I refused to shed one tear over her lying cheating ass. Outside, I was surprised to see Colin parked in front and leaning against his car. I stopped and stared. “What are you doing here?” He shrugged, “Thought you could use some moral support.” “Aren’t you special.” Inside I was thrilled at his sweetness.

He spread his arms and I tumbled into them, resting my head on his shoulder. He smelled like heaven, and the hardness of his chest somehow made me feel stronger. For a long time, I stayed where I was, just soaking him up, enjoying what I had. “Asia?” “Hmm?” He hesitated and I stiffened. Please, no more bad news, and certainly not tonight. I wanted a simple life, with the least amount of drama. “I was wondering if you would consider moving in with me. I know it’s a big step, and kind of soon since we’ve only been seeing each other a few weeks, but I love you and I just think it—” “Stop!” I drew back from him. “Go back.” “To what?” My gaze dropped from his eyes to his lips. I watched them earnestly, “To how you feel about me.” He drew me in tight again to his chest and pressed my head back down against his shoulder while he rubbed my back. “Asia, how can you not know? Six months ago, I would have thought it was impossible, but I loved you from the moment you bumped into me on the street.” He laughed. “Right here actually. You came flying out of that club like someone was after you and rammed right into me. Our football team could use you.” “Ha-ha, very funny,” I mumbled against his shoulder. “Go on.” “Bossy too,” he chuckled. “I just want you with me all the time. I love talking to you, looking at you.” He drew me back to look in my eyes. “We’re moving too fast, I know. But at least give me hope that you can love me too.” I pressed my lips against his, snaking my tongue inside the warmth of his mouth. His physical reaction was apparent between us. “I think your sex drive would kill me if I lived with you.” He looked defeated, and I felt sorry for him. Yet, it was also heady. Here was a hot man, successful and sensitive. And he wanted me, not Diamond. That was a once in a lifetime deal. But moving in together was a huge step for me. I still hadn’t spoken to my parents about him. Not only was I not saving myself as they had hoped I would, I was getting busy as often as possible. “Don’t worry, Colin.” I kissed along his cheek, his chin and his eyebrows before leaning back to look in the puppy eyes again. He had me. He really had me, body and soul. “I

love you, too. Maybe it was from that first time. I don’t know for sure. But I do know that when I saw you sleeping next to me, I knew I was hooked. I couldn’t get away even as I tried to, running naked around your house.” We both burst out laughing at that. “What a sexy treat for me when I woke up, to find you dressed only in my shorts.” “Yeah, I’ll bet you did liked that,” I smirked. “And as to moving in with you, that will take a lot of thought. We’ve discussed my upbringing.” He nodded. “I haven’t told my parents about you, but I know that Diamond did, so I have to break down and face them tomorrow morning. I’m having breakfast with them.” I thought fast. “Why don’t you come too? We can attack as one.” “Deal,” he laughed. “Then I can charm them into loving me and you’ll be permanently in my bed in no time.” “So it’s about the sex?” “Of course.” I tapped a hand against his cheek, and moved away to stroll in the direction where I was parked. I could feel his eyes on me, and added a little something extra in the swing in my hips. The wolf whistle had me walking on air. He loves me.

Chapter Twelve I could not believe that my parents invited Diamond of all people to breakfast. I guess it was my fault since I didn’t tell them we’d had a falling out. But then she could have made up some excuse for not attending until I told my parents’ the truth. As I glared when we met in the foyer, I thought she had a lot of nerve after propositioning my man. How I hated her at that moment. In fairness, at least she’d dressed more modestly, if one could call a skin tight dress modest. It covered her deep cleavage anyway. When my parents dragged Colin into the study, I held back a little, blocking Diamond from going forward. “What are you doing here? Haven’t you done enough?” She held her head high, “I have a right to be here. Your parents invited me.” “And common sense should have made you stay away! Get the hell out of here, Diamond.” I got up in her face. “You make up whatever excuse you need to to leave, or I’m warning you . . .” “What?” She placed her hands on her hips. “You’re going to do what, Asia?” Over and over, I told myself to behave like the adult I was, to not sink to her level. That mental speech did nothing. The next thing I knew, I had her hair in one hand and I was smacking her with the other. She screamed and struggled to get away. My parents and Colin came running into the hall. Colin grabbed me while my mother grabbed Diamond. “Get her out of here,” I screamed. “Ma, if she’s staying Colin and I are leaving and I mean it!” My mother stared at me wild-eyed. She knew I was the type of person to just walk away. It was what she and my father had drilled into me from day one. And I could only imagine what Colin was thinking. I was his first black woman. It would have been funny if I wasn’t so angry. “Asia Jordan, I’m not sure what’s going on, but we can talk about it.” When my mother called me by my first and last name, I knew she was angry. Her voice never rose, ever. The name was the only indicator. She turned to Diamond. “Sweetie, you better go. We’ll talk tomorrow.” To my further disgust, my mother kissed the whore and hugged her before sending her on her way. I jerked myself from Colin’s arms and flounced toward the study. He followed me and sat down at my side when I dropped onto the couch. “I know what you’re going to say,” I whispered before my parents entered the room. “I’m behaving like a child.”

“You have every right to be angry.” He clasped my hand, entwining his fingers with mine. Glancing at him curiously, I said, “Do you ever get angry? All this time, I’ve never seen you riled.” He shrugged, “I’ve been known to kick an ass or two in my time.” I laughed, “Yeah right.” At least he made my anger dissipate some. Then I was nervous when my parents stepped in the room. I wondered how old a woman had to be before she stopped feeling like she had to answer to her mother. It was apparently not at age twentyfour for me. I squirmed in my seat and was glad of Colin’s warmth strengthening me. “Well, Asia,” my mother sighed as she sank down in an armchair, with my father standing silently at her side. He had tended to let her lead, I realized suddenly. “You were the quiet one, the one I never worried about because you were so level-headed. Now, Ash? Your brother was and is another story entirely.” She spoke the truth. My younger brother had been wild, getting into trouble at every turn. He’d even gotten a girl pregnant at sixteen and then refused to be involved in taking care of his son. That was the only time I saw my father override my mother. She, always calm herself, had wanted to talk everything out reasonably. My father tried to kick my brother into the next century. It seemed to have worked since my brother had gone into the service and paid child support regularly. I had always been glad they were busy with him, while growing up. Now as an adult, the focus on me was uncomfortable. I didn’t want to discuss my issues with Diamond with them, but I didn’t think my mother would let it go. She would nag me until I caved. My father was famous for saying the truth was the quickest way to peace. When it came to my mother, he was right. “Diamond has been seducing every man I’ve ever been out with, getting them in her bed. She tried to do the same with Colin, and he told me. So needless to say, our friendship is at an end.” I folded my arms across my chest. “If you’re going to invite her to breakfast, Ma, please don’t expect me to show up also.” My mother’s eyebrows shot up. She glanced at Colin. “So, Diamond’s ploy did not work with Colin?” I was about to jump to my feet, my anger sparking again. Colin placed a hand on my arm, keeping me in place. “No, it didn’t work,” he answered. “I don’t want Diamond. I called Asia right after it happened to tell her about it. I love Asia, and I’m not doing anything to botch that up.” Oh no! Why did he have to admit that right here, right now? I wanted to work into our feelings for each other. Then again, if I was considering living with him, might as well get them used to it.

My mother continued to shock me. “Asia is a grown woman.” She looked at me meaningfully. “I would not presume to interfere with your decisions, sweetie.” The woman was a mind-reader. “Our roles have changed over the last few years. I’m here to support you and love you, to stand by you whatever you do. And if necessary, give advice. But ultimately, you choose your own path.” I couldn’t believe it. Was she serious? For years, I had been like my father when dealing with my mother. I quietly let her have her way, chose the path of peace. If I wanted to do something she didn’t agree with, I simply did it and didn’t tell her. Like the whole sexual experience situation, and I had seriously been thinking of not telling her if I decided to move in with Colin. Now she was saying whatever I did was completely up to me. She was an amazing woman. She stood, “Please excuse Asia and I, Colin. I have something very important to discuss with her. My husband will entertain you until we’re done.” It was a dismissal, and we all caved. Colin kissed my cheek, gave me a look of love and support and then was gone. I just hoped that whole speech wasn’t just for show and she wasn’t about to insist I drop Colin and keep Diamond. After all, she’d been like a mother to Diamond all those years too. The whore just pretended to listen to my mother. When the men were gone, my mother returned to her seat, clutched her hands in front of her and stared down at the floor for a moment. “Asia, let me tell you a story about something I hoped I’d never have to share with you.”

Chapter Thirteen “Do you remember Diamond’s father, sweetie?” My mother asked the question, but I felt like she hoped I wouldn’t remember him. “Mr. Darryl, right?” She nodded, “Yes.” I watched as she clenched her hands so tightly they were white. Fear and worry etched her slanted dark eyes, which were her heritage from her Chinese mother.” “What is it, Ma? Just say it.” “He was an abuser and an alcoholic.” She couldn’t have been more blunt. I gasped, “You’re not saying . . . He abused Diamond?” I searched my memory, trying to remember in all the times Diamond had stayed over at my house, if I’d ever spotted a bruise on her. I didn’t think so. “I know her mother ran off when she was five. She sometimes mentions it with bitterness.” “Sometimes, I think if she had stayed . . .” “Ma, what do you know about Diamond’s home life? The only thing I remember is thinking you and Daddy were too strict not ever letting me stay over there.” “That’s not true, Asia. We did let you stay, but after that first time, Diamond didn’t want you to stay. I didn’t learn why until years later.” My mother held a hand to her mouth. I thought she was going to be sick. She paled and swayed. I was about to jump up to grab her, but she held up a hand. I waited for her to compose herself and continue. “On that night, according to Diamond, her father paid a lot of attention to you. He wanted—well Diamond distracted him from what he wanted.” Tears sprang to my eyes at her words, realizing what she was alluding to. I saw pain in her expression, but she didn’t tear up. Come to think of it, I’d never seen her cry. “To cut straight to the point, Diamond took your place. And somehow that act set in motion a compulsion on her part to forever protect you . . . in that way.” I couldn’t accept what she was saying. Surely, Diamond had lied to my mother. Why would she do such a thing? Guilt was hitting me hard. Her father should be killed! “Where is that son of a bitch now?” I demanded. “In prison, for another crime,” she said simply.

Falling back against the cushions of my mother’s too flowery couch, I closed my eyes and massaged my temples. “I don’t—What doe this mean? Am I supposed to forgive her? To let it go? I don’t know what to do. She’s been doing this to me for years, ruining every relationship I’ve ever had.” “In all honesty, if those men were the right one, would they have taken her up on her offer?” I grunted, annoyed by this logic. “That might be so, but still she is a whore. Damn it. This should all be simple, cut and dried.” My mother stood, clapping her hands together once, as if that dismissed the subject. “Well, you were upset, Asia. Now, let’s dispense with the street language?” She didn’t wait for me to answer. Instead, she moved to the door and called the men back in the room. When Colin entered, I felt like I had been starving without him. As I watched my lover cross the room to me, I wondered how I would have handled it had he given in to Diamond’s charms, and what I was going to do about a friendship that could never be the same. She obviously needed help, and from what my mother told me before the men came back in the room, she was now getting it, but could I truly risk having her a part of my life, thinking all the time that she might go after Colin again? As much as I understood now what made her tick, I could not overlook her actions. **** Ten months later. I lugged another heavy box into the house with Colin rushing behind me to grab it. If I could run, I would have, but my junk was weighing me down. Guess I should have taken his advice and tossed out the extra crap, but this move was scary enough as it was. Even if I had to put most of my things in storage, that’s what I would do. There was no telling how long we would last, even as I prayed it would be forever. “Asia, I said I got it. Why are you so stubborn, woman?” He grumbled then kissed me as he freed my aching arms. “Same reason you insist on treating me like a damsel in distress,” I shot back. “It’s who we are. I can take of myself.” “And I can’t?” I wrinkled my nose. “Take care of yourself?” “Take care of you.” He dropped the box at the foot of the stairs and pulled me into his arms. “Woman, I love you so much, it’s painful. I understand you are independent and

strong. And I’m not trying to take any of that away from you. But it also pleases me to take care of some things. Little ones? Like carry your heavy boxes for you?” I chuckled, “Okay, okay. You can flex your muscles, and I’ll enjoy the show.” He tugged me tighter into his arms and ran his hands down over my ass. When he pulled me higher, I felt his arousal push between my legs. I was instantly wet. Reaching between us, I stroked him while he nuzzled my neck. My moans were soon filling the echoing hall near the open front door. A throat clearing interrupted our pleasure. We broke apart. “Mum, you’re here.” Colin stated the obvious. “Unannounced.” The woman eyed me with something looking like distaste. This was why I had avoided meeting her, but Colin wrapped an arm across my shoulders, and his eyes shown with such love for me, I felt it in my toes. I’d never had a man love me so completely. “Mother, this is Asia, the woman I’ve been telling you about. The woman,” he paused for emphasis, “who will be my wife the second I can convince her to be.” Incredibly, the woman nodded and even smiled. I knew then that Colin would stick by me, no matter what. I had confidence in his love. And even if I had to take my time to be sure of each step we took, I knew he would wait. Knowing that made all the difference. As Colin and his mother spoke, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Pulling it out, I saw that it was Diamond. My heart beat faster. Instead of dealing with her before, I had continued to avoid her, not ready to accept what had happened or the fact that she was seeing a psychiatrist, someone she was referred to by my mother. It had been almost a year since I’d last spoken to her. I punched the button to answer. “Hello?” “Hi, Asia.” Her voice sounded unsure. “I know this is a surprise after all this time, but, I wondered if . . .” Taking a deep breath, I took the plunge. “How about having lunch together on Thursday. Just you and me.” She began to cry. “I’d like that.” Building a new friendship between Diamond and I wouldn’t be easy, and maybe I would always be a little leery of what she might do, but as I said, I was confident of Colin’s love, and I understood why Diamond did what she did. Just maybe we could move forward and all grow together. My outlook was full of hope.

“Asia,” Colin’s mother reached out a hand to me as I clicked closed my phone. I took it tentatively. “Welcome to the family.” I smiled, feeling just a little more relaxed, and as I listened to my lover’s accent thicken as he conversed with his mother, I had the beginnings of a London wedding laid out in my mind. This could definitely work. THE END

TuÉâà à{x Tâà{ÉÜ Tressie Lockwood is brand new to writing though she’s always loved books. She writes straight from her heart, reaching out to those who find it hard to be completely themselves no matter what anyone else thinks. She hopes her readers will enjoy her short stories.