Fortune's Return, Book 1

Author: Jamie Craig

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Fortune's Return by Jamie Craig

Atlantic Bridge www.atlanticbridge.net

Copyright ©2008 by Jamie Craig

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Fortune's Return by Jamie Craig

CONTENTS Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty About the Author ****

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Fortune's Return by Jamie Craig

Published by Liquid Silver Books, Imprint of Atlantic Bridge Publishing, 10509 Sedgegrass Dr, Indianapolis, Indiana. Copyright 2008, Jamie Craig. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the authors. This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents and dialogues in this book are of the author's imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental.

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Chapter One Ryan Putnam rolled to a stop outside the house and killed the engine. He hadn't expected it, but the Good Fortune ranch looked different. It wasn't the childhood home he remembered, though he had just visited the previous Christmas. He couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe it was the children's bikes and toys on the porch? Maybe it was the swing set in the front yard? Or maybe it was just Ryan, himself? He felt like a different man. The last time he had visited, he had been with John. They had discussed the possibility of their own family, one day. Now that seemed like a very long time ago. A lifetime. Maybe the ranch looked different because he was crawling home with his tail between his legs, and it wasn't technically his home anymore. It was his brother Clay's home, the one he shared with his wife Paige. It was their children's home. He was just a guest who didn't have anywhere else to go. When he opened the truck door, the silence struck him. It wasn't a true silence, of course, but compared to the city, it was peaceful. In the distance, cows and horses made their presence known, while the chickens clucked much closer. The unmistakable sound of children drifted from the house, and Ryan smiled a little bit, remembering the way he and Clay and Ty had put their mother's nerves on end when they played Cowboys and Indians. "Not in the house!" she would shout, before giving in and joining their play. A new note of pain merged with the much 5

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larger symphony in his chest. If he was being honest with himself, he was really crawling home to his mother. And she wasn't there anymore, either. Even though Clay had insisted he come and stay with them on the ranch to regroup, Ryan felt more alone than ever. He slammed the pick-up's door and lifted his bags from the back. Ryan wasn't sure how long he would stay. Not only did he have the summer off, but the high school he had taught at for two years hadn't renewed his contract. Ryan didn't know if that had led directly to the end of his life with John, but it certainly hadn't helped their precarious relationship. So even though he had no idea how long he'd be staying, he had all of his clothes and most of his worldly possessions in the bed of the truck. Paige stepped outside to greet him, an infant on her hip and a toddler clinging to her skirt. She had always been a beautiful woman, but motherhood had been especially kind to her. He might not be interested in the fairer sex, but even he could admit that Clay was one lucky bastard. Ryan smiled, and Paige grinned and waved. As soon as little Leni recognized him, her eyes widened and she immediately began taking unsure, but hurried, steps toward him. "Leni, get back here." Ryan dropped his bags and bent to pick up the little girl. "I've got her. Hey, baby." She hugged his neck and kissed his cheek. "Hi." "Where's your daddy, huh?" Leni pointed to the barn. "With Chief." 6

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"Ahh." Ryan looked up. "Hey there, pretty lady. Am I in time for dinner?" "You've got a few minutes." Paige's cheeks glowed with health, and her kind brown eyes watched him approach, her smile reflected in them. "Matty got into the flour again so I've spent more time this afternoon cleaning rather than cooking. Feel like a cup of coffee to tide you over?" "A cup of coffee sounds good." He adjusted Leni's weight in his arm as he ascended the porch steps. "Did you let your brother get in the flour? I thought you were supposed to watch him." Leni beamed at him. "I helped." "I bet you did." Now that he was closer, he saw traces of flour on Matty's face and in his dark hair. "He looks like Clay, doesn't he?" Paige grinned. "Yeah, but he's got Ty's sense of trouble. Don't tell Clay I said that." Ryan had no intention of telling Clay that his only son reminded Ryan of their youngest brother. "Clay's probably already figured it out for himself. Or maybe not." Ryan grinned. "He does think Leni is a little angel, after all." Paige's laughter led him into the house. Even the interior felt different than the home that had always been a sanctuary. Toys littered the front room, with a play stable and horses filling an entire corner. Sunlight flooded every corner, and the smells drifting from the kitchen didn't match his memory. Paige's menus took a few more risks than his mother's had. It took considerable effort to push those memories aside. 7

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"I aired out your old room for you," Paige said as she settled Matty into his high chair. "But you know we put Leni next to it, don't you? If you want us to move you, just say the word." Ryan put Leni in her booster seat. He was happy that he had his old room at least, but it was yet another reminder that it wasn't his home anymore. But even Ryan could admit that it wasn't the house bothering him. He'd live in a cardboard box if he had the sort of companionship—and family—Clay did. "No, that's fine. I know she gets up early, but Clay will probably have me out and working before the crack of dawn anyway." "Maybe not. He's got a new hand he's working into the crew. He and Teo have been going out earlier than usual so he can show him everything." "And Tony," Leni piped up. "Tony doesn't go on those runs," Paige corrected. She bent and pulled a saucepan out of the cupboard. "So you might get lucky, Ryan." Ryan had already resolved to work from sunup to sundown. It was probably the only way he'd be able to sleep. Otherwise, thoughts of John would plague him until long after midnight. "Who's Tony?" Ryan asked, his question directed more towards Leni than Paige. "A boy. Teo's his daddy." Matty slapped a chubby hand against his food tray, prompting Paige to magically appear with a sippy cup. "Clay 8

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set them up in the old cottages out behind the stables. Teo was going to get a place in town, but Tony's only seven. I felt better having him close by in case something happened when Teo's working." The cottages. Ryan hadn't thought about those in years. When he was a kid, they were all inhabited. But they became more obsolete as the ranch hands settled in town with families and homes and trucks. They didn't mind a little commute, so the cottages fell out of use. "Teo doesn't have a wife?" Paige shook her head. "Widower. Since Tony was a baby. He stopped ranching for a few years to raise his son, but now that Tony's a little older, he came right back to it." She smiled as she turned back to the stove. "I think he's going to end up giving Clay a run for his money. I've never seen anybody who wasn't a Putnam work harder." "Clay must love him." Matty brought his sippy cup to his mouth, but his big, green eyes were locked on Ryan. Leni's attention was split between her mother and her uncle. "Maybe that'll at least give Clay some free time to do something besides work. Lord knows he deserves it." "You could help with that, you know." She busied herself with pouring out the coffee she'd promised him. Ryan began to wonder if she ever stopped. "If you go around with Teo while he learns the ropes, that'll free Clay up a lot." Ryan knew his brother well enough to know that he probably put in twelve-hour days, leaving him just enough time to see his kids for a few minutes before bedtime. Neither Clay nor Paige would complain, of course. But their kids 9

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might, when they realized their father always had to put work first. "I'll be happy to get out there and get to work again. I guess it'll be your job to make sure Clay actually uses his free time for good." A timer went off. Paige opened the refrigerator and took out a baking pan covered in foil. "That's my favorite part of the job anyway," she shot over her shoulder. "Did you want to run out and let him know you're here? Tell him dinner will be a little later, too. Don't tell him why." "Yes, ma'am." Ryan stood, much to the alarm of the two children at the table. "Are you going out to see Daddy?" Leni asked. "Yes." "Can I go with you?" "No." He bent and brushed his lips across the top of her head. "You stay here and help your mother." Leni looked so disappointed he almost scooped her out of her chair to bring her along. But he wasn't sure what Clay was doing in the barn, and having a toddler underfoot usually did not help matters. He hurried out of the kitchen before Leni could break out the big guns—her lower lip would tremble just so when she wanted something—and crossed the yard to the stables. Clay stood outside the barn, his foot resting on the paddock gate, chatting with another man who could only be Teo. It was difficult to see Teo's face under the shade of his black hat, but he saw Teo's body well enough ... his very nice body. It was all Ryan could do to keep from staring. 10

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Though his muscles were much harder from his work on the ranch, Clay was built like Ryan—long and lean. The new hand had a good three inches and forty pounds on him, all muscle. The navy shirt he wore stretched taut over broad shoulders, strained around powerful biceps. His faded jeans might as well have been painted on. They outlined muscular thighs that only came from years on a horse, and a tight ass that Ryan had to tear his gaze away from. It was a good thing the fence blocked off part of the view. With a body like that, Ryan would have been far too tempted to check out the man's package, too. Clay turned at the sound of Ryan's approach, a slow smile spreading across his face. Teo looked as well, though his was a mere tilt of his head in Ryan's direction. It was enough to make out a wide mouth, high cheekbones, and bronzed skin burnished by the sun. Shadows still hid his eyes. "Eleanor let you come out here all on your own?" Clay said. "That's a new one." Ryan smiled. Nobody called Leni by her full name except her father. "I have long legs. I can move faster than she can." He offered his hand to Clay, and as soon as he took it, Ryan pulled him into a hug, slapping his back affectionately. It was good to see his brother again. Even if his attention wasn't one hundred percent on Clay. As soon as they stepped apart, Ryan nodded at the taller man who watched them without speaking. "You must be Teo." Teo nodded back. Now he could see the man's eyes. They were black and sharp, unblinking as they regarded Ryan. 11

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Beneath his hat, his dark brown hair was shorn close to his head. "Oh, right, I forgot you two haven't met yet." Clay gestured between them. "Ryan, this is my new hand, Teo Mendez. Teo, my brother Ryan. I'm putting him to work here this summer." "Can always use a good man." Teo's voice, though deep, was surprisingly soft-spoken. He took a step away from the fence, jerking his thumb toward the stable. "I'll go round up Antonio and get out of your way, then. Have a good night." "No," Ryan blurted, then smiled self-consciously. "I mean, Paige wanted Clay to go on up to the house, if he could. But I haven't worked on the ranch in years. I was thinking maybe you could help me get reacquainted with the place." It sounded lame to Ryan's own ears. He knew nothing could ever come of it, but he wanted to spend a little bit more time with this soft-spoken giant. Teo looked immediately to Clay, who shrugged. "If you're up to it," he said. "You could do a quick tour and then come up and join us for dinner. You know Paige. There'll be plenty of food." Though he didn't smile, something warm gleamed in Teo's eyes. "She's always trying to fatten Antonio up." "She likes having you two around." Teo glanced at Ryan. "Mind my boy hanging around?" "Not at all," Ryan said quickly. "I'm a teacher. Well. I was a teacher." Teo didn't even blink, and Ryan wondered why he had been moved to volunteer that information. "Teaching kids isn't unlike herding cows." 12

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A beat passed before Clay slapped his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "Don't keep him out too late. We have some catching up to do." Ryan nodded. "Right." Clay slipped past him to head up to the house, leaving the two men alone. Without speaking, Teo turned on his boot heel to resume his path to the stable, prompting Ryan to do a quick double-step in order to reach his side. He had never considered himself a small man, but next to Teo, he might as well have been. Yet, for his size, Teo barely made a sound, a surprising grace in his heavily muscled limbs. The stable was dim after the brilliance of the afternoon sun, and Ryan had to blink a couple times to adjust to the change in lighting. Teo strode forward, then halted dead in his tracks. Ryan was about to ask what was wrong when he heard it. A scraping from the far end of the building, followed by a horse's soft whinny. Teo's mouth tightened. Without saying a word, he marched through the stable, aimed unerringly toward the sound. Ryan followed and almost collided with his broad back when he stopped again, this time to survey a small boy sticking his hand through Chief's stall door. "What did I tell you, Antonio?" The boy whirled at the sound of his father's quiet query. Except for the fact that he was skinny as a rail, he had the same cheekbones as Teo, the same black eyes. Right now, they were saucer-sized with worry at being caught. "He was hungry." 13

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"He's not your horse." "Mr. Putnam wouldn't want him to starve." "Mr. Putnam feeds him just fine." Ryan stepped around Teo and squatted down on his haunches in front of Tony. He was still clutching a tiny handful of hay, and Ryan sympathized with the boy's impulse to feed the horses. He had spent every single free second of his childhood in the barn, grooming, feeding, and generally treating the huge animals like they were pets. "Hi, Antonio." He offered his hand politely. "My name is Ryan. I'm Mr. Putnam's brother. Do you want to help me feed my horse?" "It's Tony," the child blurted. "Nobody calls me Antonio but Dad." "Antonio..." "Sir. It's Tony, sir." He shook Ryan's hand. "Do you have a horse here, too?" "It's good to meet you, Tony. I do have a horse here, too. He's the big bay in the back stall." "Is it Charger?" Ryan smiled. "Yep. It's Charger." He straightened, but he didn't let go of Tony's smaller hand. "I haven't seen him since Christmas. Has Mr. Putnam been taking good care of him?" "Dad takes care of all the horses now, except for Chief." His head swiveled toward his father. "Isn't that right?" "That's part of my job, yes." Teo lifted his gaze to meet Ryan's. "Charger's a beautiful animal, but it'll be good to see him getting more exercise. A horse like that wasn't built for grazing." 14

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Ryan couldn't help but grimace. "I know it. I always had the best intentions of coming up to visit, but John could never ... Well, Charger will get plenty of exercise this summer." "Can I give Charger some hay, sir?" "Can you call me Ryan?" Ryan looked up to Teo and asked in a softer tone, "Can he call me Ryan?" For a moment, Ryan thought he was going to say no. Then Teo nodded. Permission lit Tony up, and he tugged at Ryan's hand, leading him toward the back stall. He babbled excitedly about the various horses they passed, finally breaking away once they reached Charger. Teo's eyes never left Tony as the boy rushed forward with the hay. "I get up at four to ride," he said. Ryan's brow knitted together. Why was Teo telling him this? Was it an invitation? His face cleared, and a small smile touched his lips. "Four's a good time to go riding." "Will you help me with the hay, sir?" "Yes. But only if you call me Ryan." Tony smiled shyly and looked at his dad before repeating his question. "Will you help me with the hay, Ryan?" "Yes, sir. Here." Ryan took an inch from the top of a nearby bale. "Put your hands out flat." Tony obediently held his hands out, palms open. Ryan placed the hay on them carefully, then opened the stall door. Charger immediately approached, and Ryan put a comforting hand on Charger's long neck. Whinnying in greeting, the horse turned his attention to the food Tony presented. 15

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"That's it. Don't bend your fingers. You don't want Charger to bite them." He felt Teo's gaze heavy on his back, and had to fight not to glance over his shoulder to meet it. Better to focus on the familiar, the scent of Charger's stall, the heat from his shoulder, the young eyes looking to him for guidance. "It's my fault he doesn't know more." Though he was several feet away, Teo's soft voice carried directly to Ryan. "I kept him away from ranches for too long." "I know plenty, Dad!" "Not enough." "It's okay," Ryan said, still looking at Tony. "I don't know enough either, because I lived in the city for so long. You can teach me what you know, and I can show you a bit of what I know. Does that sound fair?" Charger finished the hay and whinnied for more. Tony nodded. "That sounds fair." Ryan glanced up and met Teo's eyes. He couldn't help but smile. "I promise I won't get underfoot." "With Antonio, that might be inevitable." "You don't get underfoot, do you, Tony?" "No." He was all innocent brown eyes. "Can I give Charger more hay?" "No, I think Charger has probably had enough hay for now." He ran his palm over the slope of Charger's back, and the bottom of his feet tingled. He wanted to ride. He wanted to ride right to the very edge of the ranch. He wanted to ride until he lost himself. "But you can help me saddle him up." Teo frowned. "You're going to ride now?" 16

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"Yeah." Charger tossed his mane. "I think both of us are feeling a bit anxious, and there's about an hour left before the sun sets." Tony looked to his father. "Can I help?" Though Teo still seemed unsure, he nodded anyway. "But then we have to go wash up. Mr. Putnam invited us up to the house for supper." The smile Tony shot Ryan lit up his whole face. "Are you going to eat with us, too?" "I think Mrs. Putnam will have my head if I don't." Ryan attached a leading rope to Charger's bridle. "Here, take my hand." He positioned Tony in front of him, then let him hold the end of the rope. Tony looked up and beamed at him, then began carefully walking down the long aisle to the tack room and hitching post. His heart twisted a little bit. This was how his own father had taught him how to lead horses. Teo followed them outside, hanging back as Ryan hitched Charger to the post. His steady eyes tracked every movement. The man missed nothing, Ryan realized. Yet, he never said a word, giving Ryan the opportunity to instruct Tony as he'd promised the boy without interruption. Once Charger was saddled, Tony slipped around to the opposite side, his small hand stroking the bay's coat. "I get to have my own horse someday. Dad says so." "That sounds about right. I didn't have my own horse until I was a little older than you are now. I had to share with Mr. Putnam." He followed Tony and watched him pet Charger. Charger stood still. For the first time, Ryan noticed the flecks 17

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of white in Charger's dark brown coat. He was getting old. "Well, Tony, thank you. Here." He pulled a dollar from his pocket. "That's for your help." "Antonio." The boy's hand froze in midair, then withdrew at the small shake of Teo's head. "No, thanks," he said, backing away. "Have fun riding." "Go wash up," Teo instructed. "I'll be right there." "Okay." He gave a little wave as he broke into a run. "See you at dinner, Ryan!" Teo's eyes followed him until he was out of earshot. "He's learning. He doesn't need to think money is a reward for an education." Ryan didn't think it was a big deal, but this wasn't his classroom, and Tony wasn't his student. "Sorry, it's the teacher in me. I'm accustomed to passing out rewards left and right. I didn't mean to overstep." "Not a problem." He paused. "You're a good teacher." Ryan knew he was a good teacher, but the soft comment made him warm with satisfaction. "Thanks. I think the younger kids are a lot of fun. Especially when they're as polite and smart as Tony. He's a bright boy." With a nod, Teo turned as if to follow his son, only to hesitate and glance back at Ryan. "You're welcome to join me in the morning if you want." The fact that Teo had repeated his invitation just cemented Ryan's decision to join him. Maybe spending time with a widower who had a kid would be the best thing for him. Teo had a soothing presence, and more importantly, there 18

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wouldn't be any chance at a rebound relationship. He could admire the other man's perfect physique and enjoy his company with no strings attached. "I'll meet you here. If I'm not up at the house in time for dinner, tell them to go ahead and start without me." Teo cocked a brow. "You're all Clay and Mrs. Putnam have been talking about. You want me to be the one to tell them you won't be there for supper?" Ryan glanced across the yard to the house and grinned. "Well ... I guess that wouldn't be very fair to you, would it? I'll be there in time." He hoisted himself into the saddle, and Charger pranced and shifted his weight beneath him. "We'll just run out some of this energy." "Save some of it for tomorrow." For the first time, Teo smiled at him, quick, blinding. "My rides are never easy." Then he was gone. With a wave that looked just like his son's. Ryan could only stare at his broad back, his mind stuck on Teo's last comment. He felt tight all over, and Charger pranced more nervously, easily picking up on Ryan's tension. Okay, so, it might be a bit more difficult to keep his thoughts and motives pure around Teo. Especially when he smiled like that. Ryan thought he would do anything he could to see that smile one more time. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Two According to the National Weather Service, the sun didn't rise until two minutes after five, so it was still dark and chilly when Ryan stepped out of the house. Clay hadn't emerged from the master bedroom, but Ryan saw the light on under the door, and heard the distinctive sound of the bed rhythmically hitting the wall. Ryan couldn't help but smile— that certainly explained how Clay found the time to enjoy his pretty wife. Once outside, Ryan trotted across the yard, his hands buried in his pockets. The air was brisk, and did more to wake him up than a whole pot of hot coffee could have. The thought of seeing Teo again probably had something to do with his alertness. He wasn't actually smitten with the man— not yet—but he suspected it would just be a matter of time. Unless Teo had a hidden cruel streak or something. But Ryan doubted that very much. The lights were already burning in the barn, and Ryan ducked in the door to see Charger and a big, white gelding saddled and waiting. He smiled. "Am I late?" Teo appeared from one of the stalls. He was dressed nearly identically to the day before, though his shirt today was black. In spite of the chill, his cuff sleeves were rolled up, exposing the dark hair on his strong forearms and the edge of a tattoo. "I'm early." He nodded in greeting. "Glad you could make it." 20

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"Me, too." Ryan bent and untied the simple rope hobble, focusing on the task instead of Teo's arms. "Do you have a set route you take?" "Yeah. But seeing as it's your first morning home, I figured you could pick." "No, don't let me disrupt your routine. You know more about what's going on around here than I do. I don't want to get in your way or anything." Teo glanced at him before expertly freeing his horse. "You mind if I take it hard then? Mornings like this, that's the way I like it." Ryan swallowed hard, but that didn't do anything to help his suddenly dry mouth. "That's fine. Nothing wrong with a hard ride. I'm, uh, sure Charger will appreciate the exercise." Teo led the gelding out of the barn, swinging into the saddle as soon as he was clear of the doors. Again, Ryan was struck by how such a large man could be so graceful. He moved like a large wild cat, prowling through the countryside, unheard, unseen. In his dark clothing, he practically disappeared in the pre-dawn air. Only his exposed forearms betrayed his presence atop the horse. "We'll take it around the back line," he said. "There's been some run-off from the creek soaking the trails at the south edge. We'll have a cleaner ride if we go north." "Sounds good." Ryan lifted himself onto Charger. Teo kicked his horse into an easy gait, one that was easy to follow even in the darkness. The air was cooler against Ryan's cheeks at that speed, and he reached up to pull his hat lower onto his brow. 21

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He had about a dozen questions to ask Teo, but something told him right now wasn't the time to talk. Now was the time to follow and enjoy the sun cresting over the horizon. Before the barn was a blot behind them, Teo spurred the gelding faster, first a canter, and then a gallop. He never looked behind him to see if Ryan was keeping up, but he never outpaced him, always maintaining a careful distance even when Charger lagged for a moment. It was just as Ryan had observed the day before. The man had an uncanny awareness of his surroundings. He was going to be an excellent addition to the Good Fortune ranch. Though the wind stung his eyes, the exertion warmed his flesh. A slight sheen of perspiration cooled his skin, making his shirt stick to his back even as the dawn crept along. It illuminated the ranch in hues he'd only seen in his dreams lately—greens and golds and browns that breathed more life than any city could ever hope to produce. It was moments like this that Ryan wondered why it was exactly he'd ever left. Then he'd remember John's face, and a pang would stab through his heart, and he deliberately blocked out everything but the shimmering landscape once again. It was obvious Teo already knew the ranch as well as Clay did, which was rather impressive, because Ryan didn't think anybody could ever be that close to the land. Teo picked a trail that Ryan remembered well—it was one he used to ride when he was a boy and he wanted to get away from his obnoxious brothers. Or when he wanted to escape his chores. It took them high up a hill and along the perimeter, allowing a perfect view of the Good Fortune. 22

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Teo still rode at a gallop, but Ryan didn't want to leave this spot behind. He wanted to stop and absorb the silence, the colors, and the fresh light. He didn't bother calling out to the other man. He just pulled Charger to a halt. The horse shook his head and reached between his hooves to pull at the long grass. Within several yards, Teo slowed to a trot, angling his horse to turn back and rejoin Ryan. He drew up alongside him, staring off into the horizon. His profile was strong, resolute. It didn't seem like the ride had even fazed him. "It's good land." "Yeah." Ryan wasn't looking at the land anymore. "You don't have to wait for me." "I know." "How long have you been here?" "Three weeks. I was lucky to find this." "Only three weeks?" Ryan couldn't hide his surprise. "That's all? I thought it must have been a few months, at least." Teo glanced at him. In spite of the dawning light, his eyes were still black and inscrutable. "Why?" "Because you know the place so well. Because when Clay was talking to you last night, he didn't act like you were some interloper trying to take the ranch away from him." Ryan smiled. "He can be a bit possessive about the Good Fortune." "He has every right to be." His gaze returned to the line of trees in the distance. "But I've known Clay a little longer than that. That's probably why it looks like he trusts me." 23

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"Oh." Which meant he could probably interrogate Clay and get the answers he wanted. Teo seemed like a private man, and Ryan doubted he'd be happy to spill his guts. The last thing he wanted was to make Teo uncomfortable. "Does Paige keep an eye on Tony during the day?" "Sometimes. I've been trying to find small jobs for him around the ranch. He likes that. But it'll be easier once school starts." His callused fingers toyed with the reins. "What grade do you teach? Maybe he'll be lucky and get you." "I teach high school math, actually. I would be lucky to have him in class. Well, I'd be lucky to have any class right now." Ryan shifted in his saddle. It had been too long since he rode, and his ass was starting to get sore. "My contract wasn't renewed this year." His fidgeting hadn't gone unnoticed. "You want to head back?" "No. Thanks. I'd like to stay for a few more minutes." The sky above them had turned a soft golden shade, the few clouds reflecting the new light. "Besides, I've got to get used to riding again, or I won't have a job here, either." "You'll have a job. Clay knows worth when he sees it." Teo jerked his chin toward the ground. "Can stretch your legs if you want." Ryan could have corrected him. It wasn't a matter of seeing value; it was a matter of Clay never turning his back on his family. He joked about it, but he knew as long as he needed a place, Clay would have room for him. Still ... he was unreasonably pleased that Teo thought he had worth. 24

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"Yeah, I think I should." He lowered himself to the ground carefully and winced with the first step. He'd get used to it in a few days, but for now, he just felt stiff. He looped Charger's reins around a nearby tree branch and moved a few feet down the hill slope. "It's so quiet up here," he said, more to himself than to Teo. "It's a good place for a man to think." And then Teo was there, standing next to him, his arm brushing against his. Ryan hadn't even heard him dismount, though by now, he shouldn't have been surprised. "Shouldn't let yourself think too much, though. Sometimes, it's too easy to get stuck inside your head." Ryan was glad Teo always seemed to be looking ahead, into the distance. It gave him plenty of time to study Teo's face. He had a small, crescent-shaped scar on his jaw. It looked like the right size to kiss. "I think you're right about that. About how easy is to get stuck inside your own head. God knows getting stuck in mine hasn't done me any favors." "You did the right thing coming home. If I'd had that as a choice, I wonder if Antonio might not have had an easier time of everything." Ryan wanted to know where Teo's home was. And what, exactly, happened to Teo's wife. It seemed like he wanted to know everything about Teo. "That's the beauty of the Good Fortune. There's plenty of room here. Enough room to carve out a new home, I'd wager." "That's what I'm hoping." Teo finally turned away from the horizon, and the black eyes he lowered to Ryan were soft and 25

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warm. "Maybe if you get bored with ranching this summer, you can give a hand to Antonio with his numbers. I know he'd like someone other than his mean dad to hang around once in a while, and it would take some of the weight off Mrs. Putnam's shoulders. She won't say, but she's got more than her hands full with her own kids. She doesn't need to be fussing about mine, too." Ryan blinked. "I'd actually like that quite a bit. I could help him with things other than numbers, too." A smile tugged at his lips. "I'll work with him in the morning and avoid all the really tedious chores I don't like." There it was. The smile he'd been hoping for. It only lasted a moment, but it was a moment that went straight to his stomach and made it flip. "Might be best to make it come across as Antonio's idea, then, or Clay'll have both our hides for you slacking off." "We'll have to let Paige in on that. She's a teacher, too. She probably knows that not too many kids would ask for a private tutor in the summer." "Especially Antonio; the boy's been dying to move to a ranch since he knew what a ranch was." "It must be in his blood. Where were you living before you came here?" "Billings. He was born there." "I've spent some time there. It's a beautiful city. But nothing like this. I'm guessing you weren't born in a city, though." "No, nothing like this." 26

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It didn't escape Ryan's attention that Teo had avoided his indirect question, but really, he wasn't bothered. Teo had already shared far more than he had to, far more than Ryan had expected. He was probably just keeping the boss's brother occupied so that he wouldn't be an albatross around his neck for the summer. The thought made Ryan a little sad. "I do this every morning," Teo said quietly. "Consider it a standing invitation to join me." It didn't sound empty or polite. Ryan suspected that Teo never wasted words or said things he didn't mean. "Thank you. I will." The sun was completely over the horizon now, and the horses pawing behind them reminded Ryan that at least one of them had actual work to do in the morning. "We should probably be getting back now, huh?" "Yeah." Teo moved first, and Ryan let him, stealing a few seconds to appreciate the back view of that perfect body. It dawned on him that he could be fixated on the man because he was so physically different from John, but as soon as Teo swung up onto his horse again, he dismissed the notion. The differences were coincidence. Fact was, any gay man in a thousand-mile radius would do a double or triple-take with Teo. Ryan was simply acknowledging the obvious. "Are you going to try and find another teaching job?" Teo asked when they were halfway home again. "I don't know," Ryan admitted, debating how honest he should be. Was Teo asking because he cared about the answer? But nobody, not even Clay, had asked, and he 27

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wanted to talk about it. "I love my job. But I miss this place, too. I was thinking I'd take some time off to figure out if I still want to teach, and in the meantime, get to know my niece and nephew. I mean, I missed out completely with Brad and Mark's kids." Ryan stopped and cleared his throat, remembering how he'd barely recognized his other brothers' kids the last time he'd seen them. "So, we'll see." "It's not like you have to hurry. You're still young." Teo didn't know it, of course, but he was echoing John's words back to him. Every argument they ever had came down to, Why are you so worked up about this? We're still young. We don't have to make any decisions right away. It was always code for, Could you just shut up and leave me alone? It made Ryan defensive, but one look at Teo's face was enough to soothe him. Teo didn't mean it dismissively. "Yeah. Fortunately. If you ask Clay, he'll probably just say I'm back where I belong, anyway. Who knows? Maybe he's right." "Maybe." They rode in silence for a few moments, the only sounds the jingle of reins as the horses trotted along. "Then again, I'd probably tell you the same thing, so I could be biased." Ryan chuckled. "If you convince me to stay, Clay would probably give you a bonus." "Sounds like a deal to me. Tell me what it'll take and I'll see what I can do." Let me get on my knees and worship your body. Ryan took a deep breath, and struggled to push the image out of his 28

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head. Not that Teo's body didn't deserve to be worshipped. And tasted. And licked. And sucked... "I'll ... I'll have to get back to you on that." Teo nodded, as though he really expected Ryan to give him an answer. The sound of an approaching horse distracted him from Teo, and he looked up to see Clay riding towards them. Smiling. "I think I'm going to go scare up some breakfast. Thanks for the ride." He nodded at Clay as he passed, both relieved and disappointed to be away from Teo's dark eyes. **** Ryan didn't get a moment alone with Clay until after Paige put the kids to bed, then excused herself, claiming she had a headache. They each took a cup of coffee out to the porch and watched the summer night envelop the ranch. Ryan's mind drifted, as it had done every single free second he got that day, to Teo. At that moment, he chose to focus on Teo's arms, though he had an equal opportunity fixation. He had been positively distracted during lunch with thoughts of Teo's ass. He had been sharply disappointed when he realized that Teo and Tony would not be joining them for dinner. It seemed they didn't take dinner with the Putnams every night. The thought of the pair eating by themselves in their little cottage made him ache a little, though he wasn't sure why. He was sure it didn't bother Teo at all. "He's not a great conversationalist, is he?" Clay asked. 29

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"What?" "Teo." Ryan looked down at his coffee. Could Clay tell what was on his mind so easily? Was he getting all moony? "He certainly doesn't waste words." "Did you enjoy your ride with him this morning?" "Sure." "He must like you." "No, he was just being nice to the boss's brother. Imagine how kind he would be if he knew I still owned a share in the ranch." Clay shook his head. "That's not the way Teo is. He doesn't waste time with people he doesn't like. He doesn't care who you are." "I like him, too. He's a good guy." "I think his son has decided you are his new hero." Ryan laughed. "Me? Why?" "Because you let him feed the horse. And you let him lead the horse. And you let him help you saddle the horse. And Charger is his 'most favorite horse, ever.'" Clay smiled, and Ryan couldn't help but note how easily the smiles came to Clay's face these days. But why shouldn't he smile easier? He finally had everything he wanted. "He's clearly fascinated by the horses. I just wanted to show him the proper way to be around them. Though I think I fucked up ... I offered Tony a dollar as a little treat. Teo didn't like it." Clay studied his face for a moment. "What do you think you fucked up?" 30

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Ryan realized his mistake and quickly tried to cover. He trusted Clay, and Clay had never made him feel ashamed of himself for his sexuality, but now didn't seem like a good time to reveal he was harboring a serious crush on Clay's hired hand. If only because it seemed rather foolish and naïve. "What? Oh, nothing. I just didn't want to start off on the wrong foot with him." "I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think Teo will hold it against you." "Hope not. He mentioned that you've known each other for awhile now." "Yeah, I suppose. We met at a horse auction about four years ago. He was there with his wife, Carmen." "Oh?" It was good that Clay provided her name. Now when Ryan got carried away with his fantasies, he could remind himself that Teo had been married to a woman called Carmen. Ryan didn't know what was wrong with him. He never got this worked up over a straight man. "We kept in touch a bit, and I kept running into him at the auctions. I saw Carmen less and less, though, because she was sick. Anyway, he called me about a month ago and asked if I had a job for him. Paige has spent the last six months gently trying to convince me that if I hire a new person, he and Cody could take over more of the day-to-day operations." "So you brought him on board." "Yep. He's a hell of a hand. A natural with the animals. Smart, too. So I don't feel like I have to be looking over his shoulder all the time." "That's good." 31

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Clay sipped from his coffee. "What about you?" "What about me?" "Are you okay?" Ryan shrugged. "Sure." "Paige mentioned that you've been a little ... out of it." "Out of it? I don't know what you mean." "Distracted, I guess." "I've just had a lot on my mind. That's all. I'm fine." "Because if you're not, you could always..." "Talk to Paige?" Clay chuckled. "Or me. We're brothers, after all." "What are you going to say when I tell you I miss the job you never understood? How will you respond when I explain that I'm lonely because I've lost the only man I've ever loved?" Clay grew somber. "You loved John?" "I think I did. I don't know. I don't really want to talk about it." "Fair enough." "Thanks for the offer, though." "No problem." Ryan leaned back in his chair and watched the stars sparkle to life, one by one in the dark velvet sky. Maybe he had loved John, and this fixation on Teo was just a reaction to that. But regardless of why or how, it would be Teo, and not John, in his dreams that night. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Three Ryan's first week back on the ranch passed quickly. He went riding with Teo every morning, but the rides were mostly silent. Teo was never as chatty as he'd been the first morning, something he might have taken personally, except Teo would smile at him once or twice every day. He reasoned Teo wouldn't smile at all if he didn't want Ryan to accompany him. Other than those all-too short rides, Ryan barely got a chance to see Teo. Their paths crossed during the day, but Teo was always working, and Ryan was trying to get back into the groove of the ranch. Besides that, Paige seemed excited to have an actual grown-up around, and she monopolized his time when she could. The possibility of tutoring Tony hadn't come up again, and though Ryan was eager to spend more time with the child, he wasn't keen on infringing on Tony's summer, or the time he spent running around on the ranch. Ryan sat in the sunroom, pretending to read, and thinking about Teo, when the phone rang. The ringing telephone coincided with a loud crash, followed by Leni's unmistakable cry. Ryan wasn't sure if her younger brother had been involved in the accident or if he had just been frightened, but Matty's wails soon joined hers. The phone stopped, and then the ringing began again. Ryan jumped to his feet, letting the book fall to the floor, and went into the kitchen. He picked it up on the fifth ring, 33

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and was surprised when Teo's terse, "I need tools," interrupted his greeting. "Tools for what?" "I think one of our pipes broke." Ryan didn't feel like splashing through a broken pipe, but he would have trudged through the sewer to have an excuse to spend time with Teo. "I'll be right there." He'd never asked which cottage was Teo and Tony's, but he hadn't had to. He'd watched enough the past week to know where it was Tony took off to at mealtimes, and where Teo emerged from in the morning. He raced there as quickly as he could with Clay's tool chest in hand, to find the front door wide open and Tony watching expectantly. "The kitchen's all wet," he said, eyes dark and solemn. "Dad says be careful." With a nod, Ryan followed him inside. The cottage was cozier than he remembered, the walls shorter. There wasn't time to drink in the homier details as he made his way to the kitchen, but the realization that he was taller and the cottage not smaller cast a slight melancholy over his mood. That lifted as soon as he saw Teo. The floor was wet, all right. The cupboard doors beneath the sink were thrown wide open, and Teo was on his back with his head poked beneath the plumbing, much like a mechanic underneath a car. His feet were bare, and instead of his usual long-sleeved shirt he wore for work, his chest was bare, covered only by a fine dusting of dark hair that did nothing to hide the sculptured muscles. 34

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He looked up as soon as Ryan entered. For a moment, their eyes locked, Teo's body going utterly still at Ryan's entrance. He imagined he saw something flicker in the black depths, but just as quickly, it was gone. "Be careful," Teo said, repeating Tony's earlier warning. "The floor's wet." The wet floor was the least of his problems. He was more concerned about the way his cock was responding to the sight of Teo, half-naked and on the floor. "Dad says the pipes are old," Tony informed him from the doorway, and the sound of the child's voice gave him the cold dose of reality he needed. "They are old," Ryan agreed, setting the toolbox down beside the sink and crouching down. "What do you need?" "Got a basin wrench in there?" Ryan had to dig around and hold up a couple tools before finding the exact one Teo was referring to. He handed it over, aware of the water dripping down the back of Teo's hand, but it was Tony speaking up behind him that distracted him from lustier thoughts. "Does this mean no bath tonight?" "No." "But the water's busted." "Only in here. Bathroom's still working." Something creaked and Teo muttered a curse. "Go get me another towel, Antonio." Tony ran out of the room, and Ryan took advantage of his absence to stare shamelessly at the boy's father again. He knew Teo was broad, of course, with wide shoulders, but the 35

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man could probably crush him. Ryan supposed he was naturally a big guy, but being adept at hard, physical labor no doubt helped to sculpt those delicious muscles. Tony hurried back into the room and slipped when he tried to stop. Ryan reacted automatically, reaching out to catch Tony before he could fall. Tony looked at him with big eyes, and Ryan gently took the towel from his hand. "Why don't you go sit on the couch for now, okay? That way, you won't slip again." Before Tony could voice a complaint, Teo spoke up. "You heard him, Antonio. Go." The boy sulked as he extricated himself from Ryan's grasp. He looked like he wanted to argue, but he backed up dutifully until he was gone. "Sorry you had to come all the way out here. If you want to drop the chest, you could go back to the house if you want." "No, that's fine. I wasn't doing anything tonight." Except thinking about you. "It looks like you're going to need an extra set of hands to clean up this mess anyway. Here's your towel." Teo took it without glancing away from his work. "I think I'm going to have to run into town for some parts for this. Some of these threads are completely stripped." "If you can get it to stop leaking for now, I'd be happy to run to the hardware store tomorrow." Ryan didn't quite know why he was volunteering. It wasn't as though running Teo's errands would increase the time he could spend in Teo's company. "And talk to Clay about seeing to renovations. If 36

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he's going to be using these cottages again, he should make sure they're up to code." "This one's my fault. I told Clay I'd take care of the smaller jobs, and I've been too distracted with other stuff to get to it." Another squeak came from the old pipes. "No reason for you to go in alone, though. I need to get some other stuff anyway. If you don't mind driving, we can go together." The thought of spending most of the day in Teo's company made him feel a little giddy. It wasn't a word Ryan would ever use to describe himself, except what other word could be used? He was a little lightheaded, and grinning like a fool, and ... he was actually acting like a few of his students when they finally got a date to the Prom. That thought was more than a little sobering. "I don't mind driving at all. Of course, you realize that Paige and Clay are both going to have lists of additional items to pick up." "Yeah." He thought he caught a glimpse of a smile. "They'll just have to make up for it by watching Antonio." "I'm sure Paige will be happy to." Ryan ducked his head to try to see exactly what was going on with the pipes. Teo had a flashlight shining on the busted connection, and the water was down to a mere trickle. "And you?" Water beaded Teo's brow, and there was a smear of oil across the sharp line of his jaw. "Think you can handle being stuck with me all day?" "That's a good question. But I think it won't be too bad." This was the understatement of the century, but the best response for Teo. "I think the real question is whether or not 37

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you can handle being stuck with me. You've probably already noticed, but I'm the talker in the Putnam clan." Teo gave the washer one last twist. Handing Ryan the wrench, he used the towel to wrap around the joint before sliding out of the cupboard. "I like your talking. Reminds me I'm not alone." Ryan straightened and stepped out of the way, his boots slick on the wet linoleum floor. "Actually, I thought that might be the reason you wouldn't like my talking." Teo frowned. "If I wanted to be alone, I wouldn't have invited you along for my morning rides." "Good point." And the companionship was probably the only reason Teo invited him along. Ryan decided it was a good idea not to lose sight of that. "Do you have a mop?" "You're a guest. You're not cleaning my house." Rising to his feet, Teo seemed completely oblivious to the way his jeans were wet across the seat, outlining the curve of his ass even more than usual. "If you want to do something, go keep Antonio busy while I get this mess taken care of. Dinner should be ready in about twenty minutes. You like chili dogs?" "Yeah, chili dogs are great." Ryan would have rather helped straighten up the kitchen, but he ducked out of the room without protest. He had been trained since he could walk to pitch in and help clean up after any catastrophe, great or small. It didn't matter who the mess belonged to. But that was with family, he supposed. Teo clearly had boundaries, and Ryan knew he shouldn't be so eager to completely ignore them. He wasn't family. Ryan wasn't even sure he was a friend. 38

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Tony was on the couch, exactly where Ryan told him to wait. Ryan sat down beside him and stretched his legs out. "The leak is taken care of. Your dad says dinner will be done in about twenty minutes." "You're staying?" There was no denying the way his eyes lit up. "So you can play a game with me while we wait?" Ryan smiled. "I sure can. What do you want to play?" Tony eagerly jumped from the couch and pulled a board game from beneath the coffee table. Ryan slid down to the floor, awkwardly folding his legs beneath him, and listened as Tony explained the rules of checkers. **** The chili dogs were very good. Ryan realized he could add cooking to the list of things that Teo excelled at. He even made sure there were fresh vegetables, and Tony inhaled them like kids were supposed to love vegetables. Ryan lingered after dinner—though he didn't offer to help with the dishes—and when Teo put Tony to bed, he was still lingering. Teo emerged from the hall, running a hand over his closely shorn hair. He'd put a white t-shirt on before dinner but it didn't hide a thing. If anything, it accentuated his bronzed skin and the thick muscles it encased. Through the fabric, Ryan could even see the shadow of the dark hair sprinkling across his chest. "I'm going to have a beer," he said, heading for the kitchen. "Want one?" "Yes, thanks." 39

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Teo snagged two beers from the fridge and popped the tops off the bottles with a casual flick of his wrist. He handed one to Ryan, and then gestured for him to follow as he headed for the front door. The sky was already a deep red as the sun moved below the distant mountains, and crickets jumped around the porch, rustling and chirping in the grass. Teo sat on the top step, and after a brief pause, Ryan settled beside him. "This is one of the reasons I asked Clay if I could live on the ranch instead of town." Teo nodded toward the setting sun. "I want Antonio to know this is the way it's supposed to be." "It's something." Ryan took a swallow from his beer and considered how many sunsets he actually managed to witness in the past ten years since he moved from the ranch. Not many. Not many sunrises, either. "I guess the important thing is learning to take the time to notice it." "How'd you ever walk away from this?" "I was eighteen and I was certain that there had to be more to life than this place. So I moved to Denver to go to college. And while I was there, I met John. I also realized that I was really good working with kids. Ty's good with bulls. Clay's good with horses. I figure it's the same skill set, really." "Ty. That's the bull rider, right? The one Mrs. Putnam was engaged to." "Yeah, that's the one. He's the baby." Ryan paused and frowned. "The twenty-five year old baby. You'll probably get a 40

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chance to meet him this summer. The other two, Brad and Mark, only come up here for funerals and weddings." Teo tilted his beer to his mouth, draining half of it in a single swallow. "And you? How often did you get up here before this summer?" Ryan studied the tips of his boots self-consciously. "Same as Brad and Mark. Funerals and weddings, mostly. I had a lot of really good excuses and justifications for why I didn't visit more often. But they all boil down to the fact that I just never made the time." "You had John, too," Teo said. "I suppose if I still had Carmen, I might not have been as quick to get back to the land." This was the first time Teo had mentioned his wife by name, and it made the muscles in Ryan's stomach clench. He wasn't sure why. Jealousy of her memory? Or was he just thrilled that Teo was letting him in a little bit? "Yeah. And John ... he was a city boy, through and through. He always looked vaguely horrified when I dragged him up here. Like he wasn't sure how he fit." "Maybe that was a sign." Ryan took a deep swallow from his beer and wiped his lips with the back of his hand. "Maybe it was. Another thing I should have been paying attention to." Ryan fidgeted with his bottle for a moment. "I was thinking maybe I could start working with Tony this week. Just an hour or something in the mornings." When Teo looked at him, the golden sunlight made his eyes glow, as if warming to his attention, even though Ryan 41

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knew the effect was all in his head. "Whenever you're ready. He likes you. Your company is always welcome." "He's fascinated by the horses. Would you mind if I spend a bit of time teaching him how to be around them? Maybe even show him how to ride?" Teo contemplated the question for long seconds, his gaze steady enough to make Ryan feel like fidgeting again. "I'd appreciate that. I keep meaning to, but, well ... something always seems to come up." He grimaced and turned away, downing the rest of his beer. "You ever feel like nothing you do is good enough? I get like that with Antonio. No matter what I do, it's just never enough." Ryan longed to touch him. He wanted to put a comforting hand on Teo's back. He just wanted that frown to disappear. "I know I really just met you and Tony but ... Well, every year I have a student or two who are pretty lost. They don't do well with authority. It's clear they have no structure in their lives. If they let me close enough, it's obvious they don't have anybody at home who loves them, for whatever reason. Or they feel that they don't. Tony is never going to be in that situation. You do great by him, and he really looks up to you." Teo shifted on the step. His new position had his powerful thigh now pressing against the side of Ryan's, but he made no move to take it away. "I hoped in coming here that I'd learn something from Clay. See how he juggled it all. I didn't expect to find a friend." "Oh, I think Clay has befriended everybody who works on his place. He's really opened up since he met Paige." "I wasn't talking about Clay." 42

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"Oh." Ryan knew he wanted Teo physically, but he was surprised and pleased that Teo considered him a friend. Happy, too. "I came up here to lick my wounds. I didn't expect to find a friend, either." Teo set his bottle aside in order to turn closer to Ryan. More of his body came into contact—his warm forearm against Ryan's, denim-covered knees just nudging each other. "You can talk about it, if you want. I'm good at listening." Ryan hadn't really considered spilling his guts to Teo, but he didn't want to break the contact, either. The heat from Teo's flesh seeped into Ryan's body, spreading and warming all of him. "There's not much to talk about. There were budget cuts in my district, and they needed to reduce the faculty. It was based purely on seniority, and since I only taught in that particular school for two years, I was on the chopping block. John ... he's well on his way to making partner at his firm, and he wanted to be with somebody as successful and careeroriented as he is. He announced we just had different, incompatible goals, and politely asked me to leave his apartment." The frown had returned, deepening with every word to come out of his mouth. "No offense, but he sounds like an asshole." "He's not. I don't know. Maybe he is. He hasn't always been that way. We were together for almost eight years, and things only started going sour in the last year. Besides, he's right. We do have incompatible goals." 43

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"That doesn't mean you kick someone to the curb because their paycheck isn't big enough. You love someone, you make compromises. You do what you have to do to be together." "He probably didn't love me anymore." Ryan tilted his head back and finished his beer. He wanted another. "Is that why you lived in Billings? A compromise?" Teo nodded. "I was ranching when Carmen and I got married, but she didn't like the isolation. Then when she got pregnant with Antonio, we made a deal. We'd move to Billings where she grew up, and when Antonio started school, I'd go back to ranching. She figured she could start working then, at least part-time, and she wouldn't be so lonely. Except it didn't work out like that." Ryan didn't want to push too hard. He enjoyed this time with Teo too much, and if Teo felt uncomfortable, he might just cut their conversation off. But Teo did consider him a friend. "What happened?" Dark eyes slid sideways. Long fingers picked at closely cut nails. "Cancer. We had crappy insurance, and she didn't tell me about how she was feeling until it was too late. She never really had a chance." "Jesus Christ." Ryan's hand went up automatically, but it hovered over Teo's shoulder before dropping uselessly to his side. He wanted to try to comfort Teo, in a platonic way, but Ryan was smart enough to know that most guys didn't welcome that sort of contact from gay men, no matter how innocent the intentions. "That's ... I'm so sorry that happened 44

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to you. And to Tony. I can't even imagine how painful that was ... is." "Antonio doesn't remember her. He was only three. He's got her picture on his nightstand, and I tell him stories about her, but ... it makes me sad he'll never know what kind of woman she was." Teo lifted his gaze again. Enough of the light had faded by now to shadow his face, but there was something bright and burning in his eyes. "She would have liked you." Ryan felt pinned, and he wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to look away from Teo, afraid that he would be able to see Ryan's thoughts and emotions all over his face. Except Ryan wasn't even sure what those emotions were. "I imagine I would have liked her, as well. It seems like she must have been pretty special." "She was. She's the only woman I ever loved." Ryan felt a twinge in his chest, and he looked down, finally breaking eye contact with Teo. "You're young, though. I bet when you're ready, you'll be able to find somebody else." "Thing is, you never know you're ready until there's somebody already there." With his gaze lowered, he had a perfect view to see Teo's hand move. It crossed the distance between them, touched his thigh briefly, then lifted until it curved around the back of Ryan's neck. It was even stronger than he'd imagined, barely affording the room to tilt his head so that he could see what Teo was actually doing, but the moment his lashes lifted, Teo's mouth met his. 45

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The firm kiss left little doubt it was deliberate. Teo touched his tongue to Ryan's lips, and they parted automatically, giving the other man the space to plunge past. Something that sounded remarkably like a groan came from Teo's throat. His grip tightened, and his other hand came around Ryan's body to curl into his side and practically pull him onto Teo's lap. Ryan went numb with shock at the initial touch, but as the caress deepened, his whole body flared to life. He gripped Teo's hard biceps, and closed his eyes, turning himself over to the kiss. It never occurred to him that he might be responding a little too enthusiastically, or too hopefully. All he knew was he had to take advantage of the contact while he could because it was perfect. Better than he had fantasized about. His cock was hard and throbbing before the kiss broke, and his palms itched to explore Teo's entire body. His lungs burned when Teo finally pulled back. Ryan swallowed a mouthful of air, but when he leaned forward to take another kiss, Teo wasn't there. "Shit," Teo muttered. His hands fell away from Ryan's body, and the heat disappeared from where his thigh pressed into Ryan's. Ryan opened his eyes in time to see Teo rise off the stairs, pacing forward several yards before halting and running his fingers over his bowed head. "I didn't mean it to go that far," he heard Teo say, though he had to strain in order to make out the words. "I shouldn't have done that." 46

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Ryan bit back his very strident protest in favor of a softer question. "Why?" "Because you don't need me muddying things for you. You need a friend right now. Not ... that." Ryan disagreed. He very much needed that. In fact, he was sure he needed that more than he had ever needed anything, including food and water. But he had only been out of a very long term relationship for a week and a half. He didn't want Teo to be his rebound fling. His friend, yes. Something more, later? God, if Teo ever wanted that with him, he'd thank his lucky stars. Besides, Ryan sensed this was another one of those boundary issues. And Ryan wanted to respect that. "Yeah. You're right." Ryan stood as well. "But ... um ... what's going on? I thought you were ... well, I mean, you were married." Teo didn't look back at him. "I was married, because I fell in love with Carmen. Before her, I lived with a guy named Kirk." He paused. "He's the reason my family disowned me and I moved north." "Oh." He sent a silent prayer of thanks to his mother. When Nora found out he was gay, she told him she loved him, and he'd better bring John to the Good Fortune so she could meet him. He didn't know what his brothers felt about him being gay, but none of them, not even Ty, would go against Mama in her house. "You're full of surprises, Teo. You know that?" That finally drew Teo's attention back to him. "Because I'm attracted to a good man when I see him?" He shook his head. 47

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"John was an idiot to let you go. And I'm a bigger idiot for taking advantage of you just because you get under my skin." "Because I didn't think you noticed any men, good or bad." Ryan moved forward, but he felt a little lightheaded. He could not remember the last time anybody had affected him like this. "Look, you didn't take advantage of me. But if you want ... we'll just pretend that this didn't happen." "Can you do that?" Ryan swallowed. "Yeah. I'm going to have to. I want your friendship. I'm not in a good place for anything more, and you don't want to take advantage of that." Repeating his words back to him seemed to bolster Teo. He straightened, and his shoulders squared He nodded as he turned to face Ryan more directly. "I really do think that's best. I didn't mean to startle you. I know I play things close to the chest, but that's just the way I am. I probably should have told you I'm bi when we first started riding together." "It's okay. Don't worry about it." Knowing about Teo's bisexuality would have only added verisimilitude to his fantasies, with a side of false hope. "What time do you want to go to town tomorrow?" "Ten?" He wasn't used to hearing Teo sound less than completely sure; it was disconcerting, to say the least. "We won't have to rush around then." "Ten sounds good." Ryan smiled, though he still felt a little shaken. "I'll see you tomorrow morning. Bright and early." He had only taken a single step when Teo asked, "We're still riding, right?" "Of course. Ten isn't exactly bright and early, is it?" 48

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The smile that creased Teo's features was one he'd never seen before. It was shy and embarrassed and took ten years off Teo's face. "Right. Just checking." Ryan didn't want to walk away, but if he didn't leave, he'd forget all about his decision to keep his relationship with Teo platonic. He wished Teo a good night, then turned towards the path that led to the ranch house's back door. He felt Teo's gaze on him while he walked, but by the time he reached the back porch, Teo was gone, and his cottage was dark. Paige and Clay were in the living room, and Clay tried to get his attention, but Ryan couldn't talk to them. He went straight to his room, collapsed on his bed, and relived the kiss again and again. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Four Teo knew his restless night was his own doing. He shouldn't have kissed Ryan, pure and simple. It didn't matter what his own desires were. Antonio had been just inside the house, Ryan was coming off a long-term relationship, and Teo had more self-control than that. He blamed those sad blue eyes. They had captivated him since meeting the man at the paddock. He'd explained it away as sympathy about his loss—if there was one thing Teo understood, it was loss, both of man and woman—and he'd sought to alleviate some of the sadness by becoming Ryan's friend. Their morning rides were good for both of them. But on the porch, with Ryan's lean body pressing into his side, seeing the dying sunlight gleaming in his sad blue eyes, Teo knew it was all lip service. He'd given in to his desire, forgetting all his resolutions for the need to feel Ryan bend beneath him. He hadn't been so shamed by his actions in a very long time. The good man that he was, Ryan didn't say a word about it at their morning ride. Teo pushed Buck harder than he'd ever been pushed, running the horse until they were both winded. Ryan kept up. Ryan always kept up. No matter what Teo did, Ryan was always there. Just like he was there, promptly at ten o'clock, ready to go into town. 50

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Ryan greeted him with a smile and a flourish of the paper he held in his hand. "Paige wants us to stop at the grocery store for a few things, and Clay has got a whole list for the hardware store, but it's not as bad as I expected." He nodded towards the old green and white Chevy in the yard. "We'll take my truck." After the events of the night before, Teo had planned on driving, but he didn't want to argue with Ryan about changing their arrangement. Nodding, he rounded the rear of the vehicle and folded himself into the passenger seat. He had to bend his knees slightly in order to sit comfortably, but it was an allowance he was used to making. Sometimes, it sucked being tall. The truck smelled like Ryan. It only got worse when Ryan climbed behind the wheel. Teo had to stare out the window in order to try and ignore the musky scent of Ryan's aftershave. "I need Dillon's for some gear for Antonio if you're going to start teaching him how to ride," he said. He had to glance over. "Unless you've changed your mind." Ryan shook his head as he pulled onto the gravel driveway. "Haven't changed my mind at all. He needs to learn if you're going to stick around here. Clay thinks I should teach him on Flower, but that mare is practically dog food already. We'll go pick out a gelding just for him." Personally, Teo thought Flower was an excellent choice. She wouldn't spook at Antonio's excitement, and he'd get a slow introduction to the joys of riding. But he also knew he was an overprotective father, much like Clay was. He'd give 51

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Ryan the benefit of the doubt and see who he picked out. He could always say no later. The ride into town was silent, tense, and far too long. He felt Ryan's eyes on him more than once, but Teo had no idea what to say to him. I'm sorry? He'd said that last night. This is a bad idea? It wasn't. He genuinely wanted to be Ryan's friend, and if they couldn't do something as simple as run errands together, what kind of friendship would they have? I dreamt of bending you over the fence and fucking you until you begged me to stop? Definitely not. On the edge of town, the quiet finally got to him. "You have thoughts on lunch?" Ryan shook his head. "No. I didn't know if you'd want to eat something in town, or just buy what we came to buy and head back to the ranch." "We can eat in town. It's been too long since breakfast." "I know a place. Decent food, good prices, and big portions. It's great as long as you aren't expecting a culinary masterpiece." Ryan paused, then added almost as an afterthought, "John hated it, so it's been awhile since I ate there." His eye twitched at the mention of Ryan's ex. He didn't like the man. He didn't care that they hadn't met, but the garbage about having incompatible goals was a coward's way out of a relationship. If you didn't love someone anymore, you told them. Simple as that. "Well, I'm a single dad," he said, deliberately avoiding the topic of John. He didn't need to lose his temper about it. 52

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"Anything that isn't a hot dog or macaroni and cheese is a masterpiece." "You're not a bad cook. And I'm not just saying that because I have simple tastes. I thought your chili was really good. Maybe even wasted a little on the hot dogs." The compliment made him relax a little. He liked how hard Ryan was trying. "That's Antonio's choice. I'd just have a big bowl with some cheese and cornbread." He glanced over, noting how Ryan's slim fingers rested lightly on the steering wheel. They were good hands. Strong. Competent. He was getting some color into his skin, too, from being on the ranch again. "Do you cook?" "Sure. I'm not a big fan of starving. When I was in college, I got away with a lot of ramen and grilled-cheese sandwiches. Once I graduated, I started branching out a bit. I won't put Paige to shame any time soon, but I've also never put anybody in the hospital with food poisoning." He smiled. "Mama used to send me recipe books because she knew I wouldn't find a wife to cook proper food for me." "Your family never gave you a hard time about being gay?" "No, not really. I suppose it helped that Dad was already dead before anybody found out. And Mama ... well, she was Mama. The only thing she ever wanted for her boys was to be happy." Teo nodded, averting his eyes so Ryan couldn't sense his jealousy. It wasn't Ryan specifically; he was always jealous of any man who got the acceptance of his family for his life choices. Family had always been important to him, so it had hurt deeply that they refused to acknowledge him after his 53

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relationship with Kirk came to light. Even after he'd married Carmen, they hadn't rescinded their opinions. "Antonio has never met his grandmother," he admitted. "I've always regretted that." "It's her loss." Ryan said flatly. "Her great loss. And she's going to feel it more and more." He glanced over to Teo. "I wish he could have met Mama. She would have loved him." "I keep hoping being around the Good Fortune will be enough." "I think having you and being at the Good Fortune will be more than enough. Before too long, you'll just be part of the family. Hell, look at Cody. He acts like he's our long-lost brother." He'd seen that firsthand. What Ryan failed to realize, though, was that Cody's roots with the family went far, far back. Teo was an interloper, and not a very sociable one at that. There was no more room for conversation when Ryan pulled up to the hardware store. With his list in hand, Teo led the way through the narrow aisles, handing it back to Ryan to hold onto while they shopped. Ryan didn't speak, but it was never uncomfortable. It never was with him. He filled the space next to Teo like he'd always been there. Teo thought that was probably another contributing factor to why he'd slipped up the night before. Dillon's came next. Teo had very definite ideas about what he wanted for Antonio, but a careful comment here and there from Ryan guided him to several different choices. When he stood at the cashier paying for his items, Teo watched Ryan 54

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out of the corner of his eye as he talked to an older woman who'd approached him. People gravitated to Ryan, to his ready smile, to his warm personality. Perhaps it wasn't that surprising that Teo wanted him around. He could only hope that Ryan wanted him around as well. He hung back while Ryan talked, just watching him. There was a definite resemblance to Clay. They had the same rangy build, the same dark hair. But he'd never been attracted to Clay. The eyes. It had to be those sad, blue eyes. Even now, they had him staring like a lovesick fool. "Lunch?" he asked as soon as the woman walked away. Ryan nodded. "I'm starving, and the diner is just down the road. We can walk down there from here." Teo insisted he'd carry all the tack to the truck himself, but Ryan took one of the bags anyway. When they'd locked the new items in the truck's cabin, Ryan gestured towards the diner on the corner and led the way. "There's actually a horse I've been thinking about for Tony," Ryan said. "If Clay hasn't sold him or something. He's an Appaloosa called Clover. He's pretty mild-mannered, and a bit older so..." His voice didn't trail off. He just stopped. Stopped speaking, stopped moving. Teo followed his surprised gaze. Another man walked directly towards them. He was about the same height as Ryan, the same age. Light brown hair was slicked back from his square face, and his light eyes were fixed on Ryan. When Ryan finally started moving, he didn't step out of the approaching man's way. "Hi, John." 55

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Teo's eye twitched again. He'd never felt an urge stronger than the one prompting him to flatten the man. John halted. His gaze flickered for a moment to Teo, did the eyebrow lift thing Teo was more than used to when men were sizing him up, then immediately turned back to Ryan. "Ryan. How are you?" "Great. Just ... great. We're just picking up a few supplies for the ranch. Um ... John, this is Teo Mendez. Teo, this is John Huntsman." John politely offered his hand. "Are you new at the ranch? I don't remember seeing you before." It was petty. He knew it was petty. Teo shook the man's hand with a little extra force anyway, though he let nothing show in his face. "Been there a month." "Well, it was good seeing you, but..." Ryan made to move, but John blocked his path and put a hand on his arm. "Actually, I'm glad I ran into you. I was going to call you." Teo couldn't help but notice the way Ryan didn't pull free of John's grip. "Why?" "Bill Draper's wife told me they're hiring teachers at that new private school. You know the one I mean, just downtown?" Ryan nodded. "I know." "She wanted to know if you'd like her to set up an interview for you." Ryan finally stepped back, but John immediately invaded his personal space again. "I don't know. I'll call her." 56

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"This could be a great chance for you." John wasn't backing down from it, and it was starting to piss Teo off. "Don't let it slip away." That was it. Teo stepped closer to the two men, making sure John was well aware of the height difference before looking at Ryan. "We're going to be late for lunch if we don't get going." Ryan looked from Teo to John. "He's right. We've gotta get moving. But I'll call her." "If you do come to town for an interview, call me. We'll have lunch." "Right. I'll let you know." That seemed good enough for John. He nodded at Teo and stepped aside, allowing them to pass. They walked several paces before Ryan said, "Thanks." "No problem." They crossed the street, and Teo glanced back to see John a distant figure behind them. "You all right?" "Yeah, I was just surprised to see him. He usually eats lunch in his office. Glad you're here, though. That conversation could have ended on a much different note, otherwise." "How so?" Translated, that meant, Please don't tell me you would have gone home and fucked him after everything he did to you. "He was trying to soften me up. That was a peace offering. You know, 'I found you a job, now you can come home.'" "I thought he was the one who told you to leave." "I guess he meant I could come back when I have an acceptable job." Ryan shrugged. "I don't know what he wants 57

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from me. He probably doesn't either. Maybe being a lawyer has scrambled his brain." Teo didn't want to ask. But hell, he hadn't wanted to do a lot of things since meeting Ryan and most of those had been completely ignored. One more wasn't going to make a difference. "Would you do it?" Ryan didn't answer for several long beats. "I might call about the position and do the interview. And if they hired me, I might take the job. But I wouldn't move in with John again." He kicked a stone in front of him. "Those incompatible goals I mentioned before? Well, it comes down to two things. I want to stay here in Montana. He wants to move within the next five years. I want a family one day. He never does. We're not a good fit for each other anymore." There was no easy answer. Teo thought he knew Ryan well enough at this point that he understood why he wasn't going to change his mind about what he wanted, but part of him felt that if he really wanted to work things out with John, they'd find a way. Or vice versa. That's what people ready to spend their lives together did. It also meant his decision the night before to keep things platonic—in spite of the way they both had reacted to his overture—was the right one. It was too soon for Ryan to even consider another relationship. Someday, Ryan would find someone who wanted everything he did. After he had time to heal from this particular loss. Teo held the door of the diner open for Ryan automatically, allowing him to lead the way inside. Ryan smiled and joked 58

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with a short, buxom waitress who took one look at Teo and promptly led them to a corner booth that would give him plenty of legroom. "Coffee," he said in response to her query about drinks. "He's going to need a few minutes to look at the menu, Lucy." Ryan's leg was warm where it brushed lightly against his. Teo made the conscious decision not to pull away. He didn't want Ryan to be aware of the contact; it was better to keep things as normal as possible. As soon as Teo moved, he'd draw attention to it, and it wasn't like other men didn't have to touch like this in similar situations. He just had to keep his libido in check. He scanned over the simple menu. "Anything you suggest?" "You can't go wrong with any of their burgers. The chicken-fried steak is also pretty good. From the breakfast menu, the ham and eggs, or the biscuits and gravy. It's served all day." Ryan shifted in his seat, bringing his leg more in contact with Teo's. Ryan didn't seem to notice, even if Teo was acutely aware of it. Deciding on the biggest burger on the menu, Teo folded the stiff plastic and set it aside. "Why don't you want to leave Montana? Clay's the only one around, isn't he?" "Yeah, he is, though Ty drifts through town a few times a year. But I already lived in Denver for school, and got my taste of big city life. It was fine, but nothing I want permanently. I like it here." "Is it easy to be out here?" 59

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Ryan glanced over the top of his menu. "It'd be easier in Denver. If only because there's more than a handful of schools in a single school district. Everything was more convenient in Denver, too. But I still like it here." "It's home." "Yeah." Ryan set his menu aside, his attention fixed on Teo's face. "Do you ever think you'd want to live where it's ... easier?" Teo contemplated the question for several seconds before answering. "I used to. Before Carmen. And before Antonio. But he's my priority now. I didn't go back to ranching until he was old enough to understand why I might not be home most of the day. And I think the Good Fortune is the best place I could raise him to appreciate what's important. If that means I have to give up my needs until he's old enough not to need me anymore, then that's what it means." "You have your priorities straight. I know a lot of people who never do. And they suffer for it." The waitress came back for their orders, beaming again at Ryan as she scribbled on her pad. Teo found he loved watching the other man interact with people. For all the sadness that still lurked in his eyes, his gregarious nature drew people in and made them shine. It was a trait not many had. Carmen had been like that to a degree, but Ryan was different. He couldn't resist nudging his foot closer to Ryan's. It was worth it to see his smile broaden as he thanked the waitress and handed back the menus. 60

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"How do you do that?" Teo asked once they were alone again. Ryan took his hat off and set it beside him on the booth. "How do I do what?" "Talk so easily with people." He tried to keep his gaze away from how Ryan's hair was slightly mussed now. He looked like he'd just gotten out of bed. "I can't do that." "I don't know. I take after Mama, I guess." Ryan leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "I think she befriended everybody she ever met. Plus, I'm always meeting new people. I imagine if you were forced to meet and interact with about one hundred new faces every four months, you'd get pretty good at it, too." Teo shook his head. "It's not in me." "Are you sure? You seem to have an easy time of it when you talk to me." "That's different." He paused, knowing he was making things worse by what he was about to admit. "You're different." Ryan suddenly seemed very interested in the hangnail on his thumb. "That's probably just because I do enough talking for the both of us." "You don't do that on our rides." Teo reached for a packet of sugar, ripping it open to tip it into his steaming coffee. "It's just ... I know I can trust you. Nobody at the Good Fortune even knows about Kirk." "You're right. You can trust me ... with things like that. I know about discretion." Ryan glanced up briefly, before 61

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adding, "I don't do that on our rides because I enjoy the quiet. There are other ways to communicate than words." His lips burned with the sudden memory of what it felt like to kiss Ryan in the dusky shadows of his front step. Their legs were still pressed together; Teo's foot still brushing against Ryan's boot. It would take very little to reach across and touch his arm, his hand, or maybe rest his fingers on Ryan's thigh. It would take even less to lean forward and kiss him. Except they were in a diner in the middle of the lunch crowd. Even with women, Teo wasn't big on public displays. And Ryan didn't need a lover. Ryan needed a friend. Why was it so hard to keep remembering that? [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Five Ryan directed the trucks in the yard with growing trepidation. He wasn't sure how many people Paige invited to the barbecue, but she had made an offhand reference to using his mother's old address book. Paige thought it was important to honor Nora's memory with a memorial party— the sort of barbecue Ryan's mother used to love to throw when her husband was still alive. As far as Ryan knew, Clay hadn't offered a word of protest. Nobody had. And that's how he found himself directing traffic and greeting all of the guests while Clay tended to the bonfire and the grills in the wide gravel area between the house and the barn, and Paige directed Cody and Teo as they set up the picnic tables and chairs. Occasionally, Ryan would catch Teo's eye, and he couldn't help but smile a little. Teo had confided his reservations about the party to him. Ryan was sympathetic. Teo wouldn't be comfortable around that many people, especially with Tony running through the crowd, darting around legs, and meeting new children his age. Leni and Matty were causing Paige an equal amount of stress, and Ryan had a feeling he'd be wrangling kids when he was done with parking duty. The sun was a mellow orange in the soft blue sky, and the evening air was rich with the smell of smoke and cooking meat. Clay had set up a radio and tuned it to the local country station, but it was difficult to hear over the sound of chatter and laughter. Everybody had brought a cooler of beer, 63

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to accentuate the booze Clay had already picked up, and it wasn't long until it was all flowing freely. Ryan drifted over to Clay's side, but turned down the offer of a beer. He didn't want to start drinking so early. He was talking to an old school friend, who was already a little paunchy and bald, when he felt somebody tug at his pants. Tony gazed up at him. He seemed a little overwhelmed by all the people, and Ryan crouched down to meet his wide, brown eyes. "Hey there. Are you having fun?" "I guess. Dad's not." Ryan couldn't resist glancing past Tony's shoulder to where Teo stood on the periphery of the crowd. His large hand was wrapped tightly around a long-neck, and even from that distance, Ryan could see the way his black gaze jumped from person to person. Ryan straightened and took Tony's hand. "Let's go see if we can fix that." "What're we going to do?" "We'll keep him company." In general, it was getting more difficult to keep Teo company. In the two weeks since their first, and only, kiss, Ryan had been extremely, painfully aware of the fact they hadn't kissed again. He had hoped that it would get easier to be platonic with Teo, but those hopes had been futile. "Have you shown your dad what you learned this week?" "No, he's been too busy. I've seen you more than him." He brightened. "Can we show him? I bet that would make him happy." 64

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"Sure we can. We'll use the paddock behind the barn so all these people don't make Clover nervous." Teo met his eyes as they approached, and Ryan felt a sizzle of energy go down his spine. "Somebody was concerned that you're not having any fun." Teo immediately looked down at his son. "Somebody has a big mouth." "But you're not!" Several people glanced in their direction, causing Teo to stiffen. "That's not a polite thing to say when we're at somebody else's party, Antonio," he warned, his voice even softer than normal. Tony blanched. "I thought Ryan could make it better." Ryan bit back the urge to apologize—to Teo and to Tony. He didn't mean to get the boy in trouble. "I thought you might like to see Tony ride." There was no mistaking the surprise in Teo's gaze when it swung back up. "He's made that kind of progress?" "He has. We spent the first week going over the basics. You know, how to groom a horse, how to saddle Clover, and the like. This second week, we've been working on riding. He's a quick learner. Aren't you?" Tony nodded furiously, taking strength in Ryan's verbal support. "Can I show you, Dad? Please?" Within a blink of an eye, Teo relaxed. The corner of his mouth lifted right before he scooped Tony up and swung him over his shoulder. "You bet you can show me." His voice was rich with pride, and the smile he turned to Ryan made his chest tighten. "Lead the way." 65

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Ryan had shifted the stable around, so that Clover was in the very front stall, nearest the tack room. He knew it would be quicker to take Clover out himself, but that would be short-changing Tony. The boy was excited to demonstrate all of his recently developed skills. "So, what's the first thing you need to do?" Ryan asked. "I should put the lead rope on Clover's halter." "Right. Show me." Teo lowered him to the ground, and he hurried over to the stall door. Ryan followed closely behind, on hand in case anything happened. He walked Tony through the process of getting Clover ready, aware of Teo's gaze tracking every motion. He knew this was important to Teo, but so did Tony. They both wanted Teo to approve, Ryan realized. They were both eager to see that pleased smile Teo so rarely used to light up his face. It came after Tony had led Clover into the rear paddock. Teo leaned against the fence, powerful forearms exposed where his shirt sleeves were rolled up, his hat tilted up to clear his line of sight. Ryan hung back after Tony was settled in the saddle, his attention split between watching him and watching Teo. When Tony smoothly guided Clover into a walk around the edge of the paddock, without any prompting at all from either adult, Teo passed a hand over his face. It fell away to expose his brilliant smile. "That's it," Ryan said, wondering if his tone reflected the sudden flood of warmth in his chest. "Just take it easy." "Can I go faster?" "You can go a little faster. Be gentle." 66

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Tony pushed his heels against Clover's ribs, and the short horse began moving in a light trot. Tony kept his back straight, but he wasn't tense. He was definitely Teo's son. They rode the same way, and Tony had the same easy, quiet way with horses that Teo did. "It won't be long before he's the best rider on the ranch," Ryan said under his breath. "I can't believe how fast he's picked it up." Though the fence was between them, Ryan still felt the heat from Teo's arm close to his. "His form is excellent." "I can believe it. You're his father. He rides like you." "But I'm not the one teaching him." Teo glanced at him, only for a second, but it felt like much longer. "You did that." "I can show him how to cinch a saddle and keep his seat, but I can't teach him style." "Ryan!" "What?" "Can I go faster?" "No." "Okay." Ryan turned his attention back to Teo. "You should take him out sometime. He'll be ready for a longer ride, soon." "How long has he been going for?" "We're up to thirty minutes at a time. But I don't let him leave the paddocks. You know the trail Clay always uses when he takes Leni out for a ride?" The sight of Clay holding Leni in front of him in the saddle as he rode Chief around the ranch was becoming increasingly common. "That's going to be our next lesson." 67

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"I want to come with you." Tony would be thrilled to hear that. He often told Ryan that he wished his dad had enough time to ride with him. And Ryan couldn't say he wasn't thrilled at the news, himself. He was becoming increasingly hungry for Teo's time, and greedy for every second he could steal during the day. "Just let me know when you've got a free hour." "For this, I'll make the time. Clay'll understand." They watched Tony do another circuit. When he was at the far side, Teo added, his voice warmer than normal, "I don't know how to thank you for this." The soft words sent a chill down his back, and Ryan had to close his eyes for a moment. He wasn't helping Tony now with the hope that he could somehow get closer to Teo, but it was a side effect he wouldn't complain about. "You don't need to. He's a lot of fun, and I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile." "It's more than worthwhile. This is something I've been imagining since Antonio first started walking." There was an unmistakable brush of fingertips across Ryan's arm, but by the time he glanced over, Teo had pulled back already, though now his hands were clasped in front of him as he rested his forearms on the fence. "You think he really rides like me?" "Yes." Ryan kept his voice even, though his heart was beating a little faster. "He's really comfortable, but look at the way he holds the reins. He's not letting Clover control the pace or the direction. He's just naturally assertive." 68

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"It could be that Clover's too docile." But the argument was feeble. It would be obvious to a deaf and blind man how proud Teo was of his son. "He should start learning more about horses, too. I'll take him to the next auction. That'll be a good experience for him." Teo paused. "You'll come with us, right?" Ryan's mouth went dry. It was the way Teo had asked—a little expectant, a little unsure. He mentally shook his head. He wanted Ryan to go with them because they were friends. And Ryan had always had a good eye for horses. Most of the horses that ended up at those auctions were often on their way to the dog food or glue factories, but over the years, Ryan had found several real treasures. "Yeah, I'll be happy to." Ryan checked his watch then whistled at Tony. "Why don't you show your dad how we put Clover away?" Tony obediently slowed the horse down to a walk and did two more circles of the paddock before coming to a stop. Ryan helped him down from the saddle and let him lead Clover back to the barn. It took Tony almost twenty minutes to unsaddle Clover and thoroughly wipe him down. Despite how long it took, Ryan stepped back and let him work through the whole process. By the time he led Clover back to his stall, he was beaming. "I'm hungry." Ryan laughed. "That's because you can smell all that barbecue out front." Teo jerked his head toward the party. "Go get some grub. Ryan and I will catch up in a minute." Before Tony could take 69

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a step, Teo dropped his hand to the boy's head and ruffled his hair. "You looked great out there." Tony's smile exploded even brighter. With a glance at Ryan, he scampered off. Sunshine streamed in through the open doors, but it was the heat pouring off Teo that had beads of sweat trickling down Ryan's neck. It only grew worse when Teo took a step toward him, blocking the view from the outside. "Tony was right," Teo said. "You did make this party better." For a moment, Ryan imagined himself rubbing his palms over Teo's broad shoulders. He curled his fingers into fists at his side and tried to smile. "I didn't like to see you look so uncomfortable." Teo nodded, as if he didn't expect Ryan to say anything differently. Then he did the unthinkable. He rested a hand on Ryan's shoulder, squeezing it lightly. Ryan's t-shirt was thin enough for the calluses on Teo's fingers to feel like they were scraping across his bare skin. "Knowing you has been good for me and Antonio. I hate what brought you back to the Good Fortune, but I have to say, I'm glad it did." Ryan immediately flashed to what it would feel like if Teo touched more than just his shoulder. He could imagine the rough fingers on his stomach, on his thighs, on his ass. It was taking more and more energy to keep those sorts of thoughts at bay. "Me too, I never really planned on coming back here. Now, I'm thinking I'll stick around for awhile." 70

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His jet eyes bored into Ryan's. "You didn't call about the job interview?" He hadn't, but he didn't want to admit as much. It felt like he was confessing to more than just deciding not to take a job. "No. I never got around to it." Teo's grip tightened. When his lashes ducked, his attention very noticeably fixating on Ryan's mouth, Ryan was convinced he was going to kiss him. He caught his breath, waiting for the first twitch of Teo's muscles to precede him lowering his head. Instead, Teo let him go and took a step back. Fresh sunlight streamed in behind him. "I should check on Antonio," he said, though there were fifty other adults outside the barn who would be more than willing to help the boy. He whirled on his boot heel and strode silently out. Ryan stayed rooted to the ground for several seconds after Teo walked away, his shoulder still warm where Teo had touched him. Why was he torturing himself like this? Because he didn't want to ruin the growing friendship with Teo? He was seriously beginning to doubt that he could ever be happy with Teo as his friend. But he didn't want Teo out of his life either. So he was stuck. He needed a beer. That thought prompted him to move. He abandoned the barn and headed directly to the nearest cooler. **** 71

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Listening to Antonio brag about riding Clover relaxed Teo enough not to think constantly of the way Ryan had looked at him, or the way Ryan had felt beneath his hand, or the way Antonio looked to the other man like he was the best thing since grape jelly. Teo suspected that was something his son had picked up from him. He was sure the way he felt about the other man was written all over his face. Friends. They were friends. This was his nightly mantra. His morning mantra, too, when the barn doors would open and Ryan would come strolling in for their ride, lean legs encased in denim that more often than not made it obvious the man dressed to the left. Nothing more had happened in the two weeks since the night his pipes had busted, except they'd spent more time together, and oh yeah, Ryan had given him the one thing he had always wanted most for his son. The kiss they'd shared fueled more than one erotic dream, and Teo rose earlier and earlier in a vain attempt to interrupt them before they got out of hand. Clearly, it didn't work. He'd almost kissed Ryan in the barn again. And all because he'd been struck dumb at the realization that Ryan had passed up an opportunity to teach again, just to stay at the ranch. What did work was focusing on Antonio for the duration of the barbecue. It kept him away from Ryan, allowing him the peace of mind for a few hours to not dwell on how good he looked today. When dusk fell, however, and Paige rounded up all the kids for something special she had planned back at the 72

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house, Teo suddenly found himself alone with an empty beer bottle in his hand. It was almost as if Ryan had been waiting for Paige to take Antonio up to the house. As soon as the boy disappeared, Ryan appeared at Teo's side. "Here." He pressed a bottle into Teo's hand. "You should keep up if you're going to stick around." Teo set aside the empty in favor of lifting the fresh beer to his lips and draining half its contents. It was easier than looking at Ryan, though as soon as he had swallowed, he did exactly that, drawn to the flame he couldn't resist. "I'll probably call it a night once Mrs. Putnam sends Antonio back out." He looked around at the various groups, smoke curling above more than one man's head, women's laughter floating on the night breeze. "Way things are winding down, I shouldn't be missed." "You'll be missed," Ryan muttered, before drinking from his own bottle. He chose to ignore the tightening of his throat at the low words. Friend. He's a friend. "You might have to worry about Clay bugging you to do more with the horses," he said, changing the subject. "Antonio hasn't stopped bragging all night about what a great teacher you are." Ryan laughed softly. "Clay isn't as easily impressed as a seven year old. Though he did mention to me tonight that there are a few yearlings he wants to sell that need to be saddle-broken first. You should be more worried about Clay putting Tony to work, since he's already so comfortable in the saddle." 73

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"A little hard work won't hurt the boy." "No, I suppose not." Ryan paused for a beat. "I talked to Paige. She said she plans to keep the kids up at the house until their parents come around to collect them." Damn it. There went his valid excuse to escape to the sanctuary of home, away from blue eyes that he sometimes suspected would always haunt him. "How long do these things usually last?" "For some of them, all night. Notice how most of those trucks have campers? They'll just drink until they pass out and then drive home in the morning." Ryan smiled dryly. "But nobody is going to expect you to stay that long. I'm not staying. In fact, I was thinking about going for a walk or something." "Aren't these all friends of yours? Of the family?" Ryan shrugged. "I didn't invite them here. They're here because Paige thought it would be a good way to honor Mama's memory. There's really only one person here I want to talk to." "Shouldn't have given me another beer, then," Teo tried to joke. "I run out of things to say even faster then." "That's fine. You don't need to talk." Ryan nodded to the long shadows outside the circle of the bonfire's light. "Do you want to go?" His meaning took a moment to sink in. "No, I'm good here." He jerked a thumb toward the house. "I should be around in case Antonio needs me." Ryan's eyes locked with his. For a moment, Teo didn't know what he was going to do. Ask again? Argue with him? 74

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Change the subject? But Ryan only nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He emptied his beer, then set the empty bottle on the ground between his feet. Teo didn't move as Ryan turned to walk away, avoiding a knot of people who called out to him to disappear in the shadows around the barn. Teo watched the void Ryan had left in his wake, unable to look away. He knew he was being an asshole. Ryan just wanted company. It wasn't his fault Teo couldn't look at him without imagining more. How many times did Ryan ever ask for anything? Zero. He never did. Teo always offered. Ryan gave and gave, and then gave some more, and apparently, Teo was too self-centered to even think about giving something back just once when Ryan had the balls to ask for it. Shit. Well, if he didn't feel like a heel before, he sure as hell did now. Especially since he knew damn well Paige would take care of anything Antonio needed. Draining the rest of his beer, he tossed it with the empties and took off on the same path Ryan had taken. The ground was a wash of purple and green, the fading sunlight a glow on the horizon, but it was the sight of the lean body at the other end of the barn that captured Teo's attention. He doubled his pace in order to catch up. Teo expected Ryan to stop at the barn, but he kept walking along a path that wound between the smaller corrals and towards a series of squat storage sheds. The party faded behind him as he walked, and the first chill of the evening touched the back of his neck. The world grew darker by the 75

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second, but the sinking sun was balanced by the rising full moon. Ryan finally stopped near the first shed, but he didn't turn around. "Did you change your mind?" It was a double-edged question, but then again, everything with Ryan seemed to be double-edged anymore. "There was only one person at the party I wanted to talk to," he said in explanation. "And then he left." "What about Tony?" Teo came up behind Ryan, wishing he would turn around. The outline of his body was clear in the moonlight, and when he shifted his weight, his ass came into closer view. "He's already in good hands." His voice was huskier than he would have liked, but desire was rearing its tempting head again. "He wasn't the one asking for my company." "Maybe you should go back to the party. Or up to the house." Ryan took a step forward, but then turned to face him. "I'm not really in a talkative mood myself, tonight." "Do you want me to go?" Ryan exhaled. "No, I don't. But honestly, I can't pretend tonight that I don't want anything from you except your company." "Oh." What else was there to say to that? It mirrored his own thoughts exactly, and he'd been pretty sure he'd seen it on Ryan's face when he'd cornered him in the barn earlier. "I guess being friends is a lot harder than we thought it would be." "No. It's easy to be your friend. But it's also pretty damned easy to want more from you. I can't do anything about that." 76

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Ryan closed the distance between them, and put his hand on his shoulder. His fingers flexed, curling into his shirt. "Just tell me no again, and I'll leave it." No. It was right there. He could feel it on his tongue, like a hot pepper waiting to dance with his taste buds. It wanted to come out, wanted to put that wall back up between them where it should rightfully live, but nothing Teo could do would force it past his lips. His palm found the solid muscle of Ryan's chest and pushed. Not hard. Well, not too hard. He used enough power to knock Ryan back against the wall of the shed, quickly eating up the space between them by pinning him in with one hand next to his head and the other by his hip. "Why didn't you call for the interview?" Teo asked. Ryan opened and closed his mouth, like he was struggling to find his own words. He lifted his chin and took a deep breath. There was just enough light to reflect in his eyes, making them shine. "Because I would have to move back to town. And I'd probably run into John. But I don't want that life, and I don't want John. I want to stay on the ranch. I want you." All the air disappeared from his lungs. It was one thing to imagine that he saw something fleeting in the other man's eyes. Flights of fancy. Wishing thinking. It was something else entirely to hear it uttered so baldly. It was a wake-up call. If he was being honest with himself, it was exactly what Teo had wanted to hear. Hoped to hear. 77

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"I've been trying to convince myself that we're both just lonely," Teo murmured. "I haven't been with anyone since Carmen, and I haven't been with another guy since before her. It's easy to explain away dreams of fucking you if I think on that." His head ducked, his eyes fixated on Ryan's mouth. "It's not so easy to explain why I spend half those dreams holding you, or kissing you, or hell, just being with you." Ryan hooked his fingers around Teo's belt and pulled him closer, pressing his arousal against Teo's thigh. "You were probably right to stop when we kissed. But I can't stop thinking about it. Or you. I just want to..." Ryan touched his mouth to Teo's. It was only a whisper of contact, but Teo responded immediately, parting his lips and letting Ryan deepen the kiss. His moan echoed Ryan's, and he felt so achingly familiar, like they had kissed like this every day for the past two weeks. Ryan's other hand went to the back of his neck, holding him tightly, like he was afraid Teo would disappear if he let go. Reason didn't play a part in Teo's reactions to the kiss. When he slid a hand into the small of Ryan's back and downward to cup his ass, he didn't give a single thought to his old mantra. When he kneaded the taut flesh, listening to the whimpers in the back of Ryan's throat as he ground his erection into Ryan's abs, he didn't contemplate how this was a rebound thing. He was only aware of how natural it felt to feel the lean body quivering against his own, how much he longed to feel Ryan's hammering pulse against his lips as he bent the man to both of their desires. 78

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When he was finally forced to pull apart for air, he felt the loss immediately. "Do you really want to walk?" he rasped. "'Cause I'd rather take you home right about now." Ryan blinked, like he had never expected to hear anything like that. "No, no, I don't want to walk. I'd rather go home with you." Teo fused their mouths together once again. Dreams were nothing compared to the real thing. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Six They gave the party wide berth and managed to avoid running into anybody. Despite their caution and the cover of darkness, they didn't touch once between the sheds and the cottage. That made Ryan a little nervous. Maybe Teo was going to change his mind, and Ryan was wound up so tight, he thought he might shatter if Teo did. Teo was outwardly calm, which only added to Ryan's anxiety. Once the cottage door closed behind them, Ryan thought— hoped—Teo would push him against the wall again. But he didn't. In fact, he crossed the small living room in three long strides and reached for the phone. Ryan stood behind him, unsure, his pants painfully tight against his erection. He knew he was going to be uncomfortably, achingly hard until Teo finally fucked him—whether it was that night or another two weeks later. "Mrs. Putnam. It's me. How's Antonio?" Ryan caught his breath as Teo listened to Paige's response. He had figured that they could buy an hour, maybe two, while Paige watched Tony. He didn't know if he could ask for any more than that. He was already getting more than he had thought he would. He wasn't sure what had prompted him to confess to Teo. He wasn't sure what made him touch Teo, or kiss Teo. There had only been a certainty in his chest that he couldn't lie to Teo. "Could he stay there tonight?" 80

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Ryan reached down to a nearby chair to steady himself. Paige would keep Tony, Ryan knew she would. Which meant they had all night. Teo was giving them all night. The thought of Teo's strong arms around him, of Teo's weight pressing him against the bed, of Teo's cock driving deep into his body, all night long, made him feel a little weak. "Thank you, Mrs. Putnam. I'll get him in time for breakfast." Teo paused and looked over his shoulder, a small smile on his lips. "Thank you, again." Ryan released his breath as soon as Teo hung up the phone. "He's staying with Paige all night?" "Yes. I didn't want either one of us thinking about anything else." He looked even larger in the small cottage, but he still didn't approach Ryan. Instead, he took off his hat and carefully set it on the coffee table, though that did little to make him seem any more normal life-size. "Are you going to stay, or are you going to have to sneak back to the house before anyone wakes up?" "I'm going to stay. I don't need to explain myself to Clay, and he won't ask." And even if he did, he wouldn't be ashamed to tell Clay exactly where he was. "Do you ... want me to be sneaky?" "No." Teo said it with a shake of his head, as if to make it doubly clear he meant it. "I just need to be prepared for questions." His mouth canted, and the warmth in his eyes went straight to Ryan's groin. "I'm not as quick on my feet as you are, remember." "We'll come up with some answers to those questions." Ryan moved forward. He didn't like being out of touching 81

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distance. "Tomorrow morning. After we do all the things that are unmentionable in polite company." Teo didn't move. He let Ryan come closer, his gaze darkening with each step. For several seconds, he lowered his attention to Ryan's hips, though the only visible reaction was a sudden flare of his nostrils. "Can't do all the things," he said gruffly. "Much as I might hate it. I don't have any condoms." Ryan's first instinct was to calculate the distance to the closest, open drugstore. If he went with that option, they wouldn't fuck until the next night. "I ... uh ... I've only had one partner in the past eight years, to bring my grand total up to three. I'm clean. What about you?" "Two in twelve years. Carmen, four years ago, then Kirk, five years before that." Teo reached across the final inches that separated them and grasped Ryan's hip, hauling him almost roughly against his body. "That long enough for me to fuck you raw?" It took a few moments for the question to sink in. Ryan was too distracted by the solid wall of flesh now pressed to him. The functioning part of his brain calculated the risk involved—an infinitesimal risk. One he was comfortable with. "That's long enough. We're good to go." "Not quite." His hand tightened. The air slammed from Ryan's lungs when Teo suddenly drove him against the wall, lifting him almost effortlessly so their cocks ground together. "There. That's better." "Much." Ryan tossed his hat to the floor, then tilted his head to find Teo's mouth. The first taste of his lips sent a 82

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shock down Ryan's legs. Teo kissed like he was trying to draw the breath from Ryan's lungs, and shifted his hips with each thrust of his tongue. The ache in Ryan's balls sharpened with each subtle shift in Teo's body, but it only made him hungry for more. Teo had been holding back before. On the front step, at the shed. Those kisses had knocked him sideways, but they were nothing compared to the full-on assault Teo launched now. Because nothing held him back anymore, Ryan realized. He wasn't overwhelmed by the heat of the moment, or distracted by unexpected confessions. This was Teo kissing like he wanted nothing more in the world, free of fetters, heavy with lust. With the wall bracing Ryan's back, Teo relaxed his grip on his side in order to slide a broad hand around to his ass. He cupped and kneaded the flesh, and while the contact was enough to make Ryan groan with want, the denim separating them was maddening. Apparently, Teo thought so, too. "Been watching you," he admitted his voice almost a growl. "Your ass drives me crazy." Ryan suddenly wondered if he was going to come in his pants like a horny kid. He was already on edge just from the pitch of Teo's voice and his rough fingers. "Everything about you drives me crazy." He dragged his hand down Teo's chest and stomach, seeking out the edge of his erection. He palmed Teo's cock through his jeans, but he didn't want to feel denim against his skin. He wanted to feel the smooth skin of his shaft and the 83

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more velvety texture at the tip. Ryan yanked the zipper down and pushed his fingers into Teo's tight jeans. The first contact of skin against skin had Teo biting at Ryan's lips. "We need to get out of these clothes." Ryan could only nod in agreement, before regretfully taking his hands from Teo's body. As much as he wanted to unwrap Teo like some sort of wonderful, early Christmas present, he knew the whole process would be much faster if he focused on his own clothes. Teo must have realized the same thing, because he stepped back and let the bottom of Ryan's feet touch the floor. Boots first, then belts, and pants joined Ryan's hat. The shirts would need to go, but Ryan cared less about that than he did getting his hands on Teo's cock again. Teo handled undressing with far more grace than Ryan felt, but that might have been because Ryan couldn't tear his eyes away from the bronzed limbs that were soon exposed to his hungry gaze. Teo looked even bigger unclothed. Coarse dark hair covered his thighs, thickening as it approached his groin. When Teo stepped out of his briefs and kicked them away, his erection sprang free, and Ryan's mouth went dry. His cock was the largest he'd ever seen up close and personal. Thick. Smooth. A succulent swollen head that begged to have Ryan's lips wrapped around it. He had no idea how much he'd be able to get into his mouth, but damn if he wasn't going to have the time of his life trying to get the whole thing.

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His ass clenched. Taking the risk to tell Teo the truth was turning out to be the best decision Ryan had made in a long time. Though he fisted his length, Teo's gaze kept sweeping over Ryan, his breath quick and shallow. "Take your shirt off, too," he ordered. Ryan still had other priorities in mind, but there was no question about doing exactly what Teo said. He pulled the Tshirt over his head, exposing himself completely to Teo's eyes. He knew he kept himself in shape, but the hunger he saw on Teo's face still surprised him almost enough to make him squirm. His legs felt weak—he wanted to get on his knees that second, but he kept himself straight. "Bedroom?" Teo nodded. He whipped his shirt off at the last minute, tossing it aside before grabbing Ryan's wrist and practically dragging him down the short hall. As soon as the bedroom door closed shut behind them, he whirled and yanked, pulling Ryan back into the circle of his arms. Ryan sighed with mingled relief and satisfaction as soon as their mouths touched again. He touched Teo everywhere he could reach, running his palms over his shoulders, arms, back, and chest. He had gotten more than a few good looks at Teo's body—enough to burn the image into his memory forever—but this was a different sort of discovery. A constant reminder that yes, Teo was real, and yes, they were kissing in the middle of his bedroom. Teo's exploration was far more direct. His hands returned to Ryan's ass, scooping it into both palms. He massaged and 85

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squeezed, stroked the lower curve where it joined with the upper thigh and ran his thumb shallowly along the crease. The tip of his cock dragged wet paths along Ryan's stomach from how tightly he held them together, but when his hands stopped moving, separating one cheek from the other, it was the glide of his fingertips down and over Ryan's pucker that made him gasp for breath. "What's going to be easiest for you?" he panted. "Because I'm afraid that once I get in you, I won't be able to hold back." Ryan would be disappointed if Teo did hold back. But he had never been with anybody Teo's size before, and even when he was with John, it wasn't like they were fucking every night. "Probably on my hands and knees." Teo nibbled along Ryan's jaw, his fingers still caressing up and down over Ryan's hole. "I'll take my time getting you ready," he promised. "I want this to be even better for you than it will be for me." Ryan knew Teo meant that, and his stomach clenched. After all, the first fuck after a four-plus year's dry spell had to be pretty damned good anyway. He buried his face against Teo's neck, kissing and nibbling the firm skin there. As far as he knew, Teo didn't wear any aftershave or cologne, and when Ryan inhaled, all he smelled was sweat, hay, smoke from the bonfire, and a hint of soap. Ryan was sure he hadn't smelled anything that good in his life. With some effort, Ryan lifted his head. "Do you have any lube?" 86

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Teo snorted. "Get on the bed. I'll be right back." Ryan opened his mouth to argue that he didn't mean right then, but Teo had already let him go and opened the door again, disappearing into the dark hall. It gave Ryan a moment to look around the room, noting it was as clean and well-kept as Teo kept the tack room. Drawings Tony had done were tacked on the closet door, but it was the queen-sized bed with its clean quilt Ryan recognized from Mama's stash that drew him. He was lying down when Teo returned. He began to sit up, only to get pushed gently back down by Teo's strong hand. "Vaseline." Teo held up the economy-sized jar. "No condoms so we should be good." "Yeah. Good." Ryan was tight with anticipation, and his mouth watered for another kiss. Teo pushed Ryan's thigh, and he bent his knees and spread his legs open without further encouragement. Teo knelt on the bed in front of him, his skin already glistening with a light sheen of sweat. Ryan watched, unable to look away, as Teo opened the jar of Vaseline and scooped some out with two fingers. The hand that touched him first was not the slicked one. Setting aside the jar within reaching distance, Teo smoothed his palm along the underside of Ryan's thigh, skimming down to his balls to roll them between his fingers. "You have the prettiest prick," Teo murmured. He left Ryan's balls to stroke along its length. When Ryan felt the lubed probe at his ass, it almost came as a surprise. "I'm beginning to think you look this good all over." 87

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Prettiest was not a word he ever expected to hear from Teo, especially in regards to anything about him. But he also never thought Teo would have him pinned to the bed, stretching his ass. He took a deep breath as Teo pushed his fingers deeper into Ryan's body, only exhaling when he was buried to his third knuckle. Teo curled his other hand around Ryan's shaft, tilting it away from his body. Ryan thought he heard something like, "It's been a long time," but the words were muffled, halfswallowed as Teo seemed utterly absorbed in what his hands were doing. Fascinated, Ryan watched as the other man shifted his position, slowly pumping his fingers in and out of the tight channel, lowering his dark head until his hot breath fanned over Ryan's cock. Then he felt the almost delicate swipe of Teo's tongue along the length. Ryan bucked at the contact, but Teo used his wrist and forearm to push down on his abdomen, forcing him back to the mattress. "Stay still." Teo nipped at the head of his cock as if to make his point, the fingers in Ryan's ass never stopping. "I'm not missing a single bit of this just because you fidget." Ryan nodded, gripping the quilt tightly. He wanted to move with Teo's fingers, or thrust up to meet Teo's mouth, but he would do neither. No matter how much his muscles twitched. He could do what Teo told him to do for now—he would get his payback later. When he had Teo's large frame beneath him, had him whimpering and writhing under his mouth. 88

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Teo ran the tip of his tongue from the crown to the base of his cock. Everything electrified him, including the gentle fanning of breath as Teo exhaled. His tongue came back up, and he circled the head, gathering the pre-come that seeped freely from the slit. Teo closed his eyes, like he was savoring the taste. He stayed there for long seconds, longer minutes. While his fingers never ceased their careful strokes, his tongue danced around and along and back and forth until Ryan was convinced there wasn't an inch of him that hadn't been sampled. He knew he should have expected such dedication. Teo approached everything with a quiet deliberation. He had simply never thought to be the lucky one to thrive under his attention. Ryan knew when Teo added two more fingers. It was the same moment he sucked the head past his lips, taking in nearly all of Ryan's cock with a single sweep down the length and into his throat. "Oh my God. Oh my God..." He couldn't hold still. It didn't matter what Teo said. His throat convulsed around his shaft, and Ryan became completely incoherent. He was quite certain he had never felt anything like this. He couldn't even quite believe anything like this was possible. It almost made him forget what he had really been there for—almost. Until Teo began moving his fingers faster, and Ryan couldn't help but long for the thickness of Teo's cock. Teo twisted his hand with each drive into his body now, stretching Ryan's passage more and more. John had never gone that far, or if he had, it didn't feel the same. Teo was 89

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simply larger. There was no duplicating that. Ryan hadn't known just how much of an appeal that was until he'd actually met the man. Scraping his teeth lightly, Teo sucked up the length and off his cock, letting it fall with a wet slap against his stomach. He turned glittering eyes up at him, and licked his lips once he had Ryan's attention. "I'm going to taste you right at some point," he said. "But right now, your ass is practically swallowing my hand. That mean you're ready for me?" "Yes, yes. It means I'm very ready for you." The words were rough in his dry mouth. Teo pulled his hand away, and Ryan twitched against the bed. He felt empty, and desperate to be filled again. He couldn't just lie there and wait patiently, but Teo put a hand on his thigh and forced him still again. "You're killing me." Teo didn't lift his hand. With his free one, he reached over and scooped more Vaseline onto his fingers, bringing it back to his cock. "What would you do if I let you move?" he asked as he slicked his length. Ryan thought he would probably push him down and impale himself on Teo's cock, but something about that scenario seemed wrong. After a few moments, he realized what it was. He was supposed to turn over onto his knees. It would probably be easier for him if he did. But then he wouldn't be able to see Teo's face. "Nothing. Stay like this." Teo's hand stilled. "I don't want to hurt you. Are you sure?" 90

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"I'm sure. I'm ready for you." That was when he moved. But where Ryan expected to feel his broad hands pushing apart his thighs in order to expose his hole, Teo did something different. He leaned forward, stretching over Ryan's body in order to prop himself on his knuckles on either side of Ryan's head. "Is this still killing you?" He didn't wait for a response. He simply lowered his head to seal his mouth to Ryan's. It was. For a completely different reason. He wrapped his arms around Teo's shoulders, holding him close as the kiss turned into a long, thorough exploration. His ass clenched and unclenched, and his cock twitched between their stomachs. Teo slid forward a few inches, building friction against his shaft. "Yes," Ryan whispered, as soon as Teo let him breathe again. "But in the good way." Teo reached down and coaxed Ryan to part his legs further, pulling at his thigh until he coiled his calf around Teo's hips. Once he seemed satisfied with that, he grasped his cock and shifted his position, nudging the slick tip against Ryan's entrance. Teo's eyes burned. Unblinking. Solemn. Nothing changed until the blunt head started to breach the tight ring of muscle. Then they both groaned. "You're so tight," Teo rasped. Ryan barely heard him over the rush of blood in his ears. Distantly, he realized that if Teo hadn't taken the time to stretch him, this would have never worked. Even now, he wasn't entirely convinced his body could withstand this, but 91

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Teo wasn't stopping. And Ryan wouldn't ask him to. Teo allowed him to adjust to each inch, to suck breath into his lungs while he willed his body to relax, willed the tension out of his muscles. "God, Teo ... been waiting so long ... worth it." Teo's response was to rest his damp forehead against Ryan's, lips ghosting together as he continued to press forward. Ryan's hands fluttered everywhere they could reach—scratching across the light fur of Teo's chest, scraping down a side, catching the taut tip of a dark brown nipple. Teo shuddered at the last, jerking slightly in his smooth penetration, and a couple more inches drove into Ryan's body, making him cry out. Teo froze. "Is it too much?" "No. No." He panted for breath, undermining his declaration. But he didn't want Teo to think Ryan didn't want all of him. He hooked a leg around Teo's, holding him tightly, forcing him to remain still, deep in Ryan's body. "Not too much..." He was stretched around Teo's shaft, and when it jerked against his walls, a hundred tiny jolts went through his blood. He lifted his head, his mouth moving over the ridge of Teo's shoulder. Teo responded by rotating his hips and Ryan groaned, sinking his teeth into the other man's flesh. He knew Teo would begin moving soon, sliding in and out of him, but at that moment, just feeling the long burn and hard pressure of Teo's length was enough for him. The soft brush of Teo's kisses across his jaw and ear came with even softer whispers, too low for him to make out, so 92

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low in fact that Ryan wondered if they were just breaths he attributed more to. The gentleness undid him, especially in counterpoint to the scrape of callused fingers across his body where Teo sought skin already too hot to the touch. It matched Ryan's own hungry reactions, but still Teo did nothing more than the tiny swivels of his pelvis. Only when he felt the soft slap of Teo's balls against his ass did Ryan realize he had been easing in the final few inches of his cock. He hadn't wanted to hurt him. Everything flared even brighter. "I need to fuck you now," Teo breathed. "Hold on." Ryan nodded, unable to speak. His arms tightened around Teo's body and he braced himself for Teo's first thrust. He was still gentle, still careful enough to ease out of Ryan's slick channel, but when he pushed forward again, he forced another cry from Ryan's throat. He felt Teo tense, but he didn't want Teo to stop, didn't want Teo to worry about him. He slid his hand down Teo's back to cup his ass, his fingernails digging into the flesh. "Don't stop." Teo shook his head. Ryan caught a blaze of something indefinable in his black eyes in the split second before his mouth crashed down to Ryan's, and then it was impossible to think of anything at all as the rest of his body soon followed. Each stroke felt like it lasted a lifetime, an interminable ecstasy as he pulled out, the increasingly familiar ravenous drive when he thrust back in. Teo covered him, utterly, completely. He folded Ryan within his arms and blocked out 93

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everything that wasn't their flaming skin and their thundering hearts. Soon, they were both damp with sweat. Ryan chased the drops of perspiration on Teo's face with his mouth each time Teo broke away to gasp for breath. He couldn't stop tasting Teo's skin, couldn't take his mouth away from him. He had never been so completely overwhelmed and consumed by another person, and he didn't resist it at all. Each hard stroke sent a flash of colorful sparks behind his eyes, and as much as he tried, he couldn't focus on anything. Not even Teo's dark gaze. Everything was blurred, and hot, and Ryan didn't want it to end. Not even when he felt his balls begin to move up into his body, and the friction and pressure against his shaft became nearly unbearable. Maybe he made a sound. Maybe he touched Teo a different way. Maybe Teo just knew, like he seemed to know everything else. Ryan didn't have to say a word for Teo to reach between their bodies, and then he couldn't say a word when Teo squeezed his cock with the same force he pistoned into his ass. "Do you need this?" Teo asked. "Or..." The angle of his body tilted. It was just a fraction of an inch, just a few degrees higher where that long, thick cock slammed more directly across a new place inside him. But it was the only fraction of an inch that was necessary for fresh fire to claw its way through his veins. "Will this be enough?" Teo finished. Another time, Ryan might have needed more. But not now. He had been waiting too long for this, and his body was 94

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overpowered by Teo, overwhelmed by the nearly devastating pleasure building beneath his skin. "It's..." Ryan's assurance was lost in a shout as Teo pounded into him again. Everything inside of him went tight, hovered at the edge for a long second, and then he was shooting all over his stomach and chest. He cried out again, every muscle from his neck to his ankles constricting and then going loose, and Teo caught the sound with his mouth, plundering him with his tongue as he continued to tremble. Ryan clung to Teo's broad back, fingers slipping against the slick skin and rippling muscles. Everything was either black or an explosion of color, vibrating at frequencies too swift to be stopped. He was sure Teo was going to split him in two from the power of his drives, like he wanted to crawl up into Ryan and never come out. But he knew the moment Teo found the precipice. There was a rumble deep inside Teo's chest, a growl he couldn't contain. It reverberated through Ryan, sinking into his flesh just as assuredly as Teo's cock was. Teo locked his arms, and Ryan dug in his heels, and the shout Teo had swallowed came out in a roar, tendons in his neck pulsing as he arched back and shot deep inside Ryan's ass. Ryan felt the throb of the thick length, the hot stickiness filling his passage, the quiver of abdominal muscles against his own as Teo's orgasm wreaked its way through his body. Silently, he thanked God they hadn't needed a condom. He wanted to feel every bit of come coating his ass as much as Teo probably wanted to feel every clenching of his walls. 95

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"Teo ... Teo ... Teo..." The name rolled around his mouth and off his tongue. Ryan didn't loosen his hold. He didn't want Teo to roll away from him. He didn't want Teo to be anywhere else. All sorts of thoughts and reactions and feelings jumbled up in his mind, and he wasn't sure where they came from, or even what they all meant. He just knew he felt comfortable where he was. Like he always belonged there. "God ... Teo ... that was..." "Yeah." Teo found his lips, capturing them in a lingering kiss that slowed with each passing second. Their bodies were glued together with sweat and come, arms and legs entwined. Teo pulled back to drop even softer kisses down the side of Ryan's neck until he settled over the tender hollow at the base of his throat. "It was." Ryan smiled. Teo's lips were so light they almost tickled, and the soft caress sent a fresh wave of desire through him. Ryan didn't know how he could be sated and yet ready for more, but he supposed anything was possible when it came to Teo. He seemed to know exactly how to work Ryan's body. "I'm so glad we've got all night." Teo lifted his head at that. The eyes that fixed on Ryan were as soft as his mouth had been. "Me, too." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Seven Time took on a new meaning for Teo. After that long, glorious night with Ryan after the barbecue, he began to partition his days differently. Though the morning rides remained the same, the minutes before and the hours after stretched with anticipation of where he might next see Ryan. If he was anywhere near the house, lunch was a communal affair, with him, Antonio, and Ryan munching on sandwiches near the paddocks. Then, it was counting time until evening when he would see them again, to spend hours chatting and joking and listening to Antonio extol the virtues of Clover. But a week later, there had been no more extended physical contact. Oh, there was covert touching, like putting his arm around Ryan's shoulders as they sat together on the couch, watching television with Antonio on the floor at their feet. There was even a kiss or two when Ryan would arrive in the morning for their rides, long hot kisses that left Teo hard as a rock. Nothing more than that, though. Teo wasn't comfortable doing anything with Antonio in the house, even though Ryan made it clear he'd sneak back if he had to. "And if Antonio wakes up?" It was Teo's oft-repeated refrain. Ryan didn't push, but Teo knew he was disappointed. So was he. He didn't know how to incorporate Ryan into a routine Antonio would understand. He wasn't even sure Ryan was interested in anything but the truly amazing heat they generated. They didn't talk about it, but that was as much about Teo's tiredness when they 97

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were finally alone as it was lack of real opportunity. It was easier. In some ways, at least. Teo woke up the morning nine days after the barbecue the way he always did these days—his balls aching, his cock stiff and leaking against the sheets wrapped around his hips and legs. Beating off in the shower didn't do anything but get rid of the worst of the arousal. He was still semi-hard as he strode out to the barn, but the brisk morning air lifted his spirits. After all, this was the best part of his day. Even when nothing else happened, just having Ryan around made him feel like smiling. The lights were on in the tack room, drawing a frown as he strode through the barn. It was too early for anybody else to be up. Teo moved silently, but when he peered through the slightly ajar door, his pulse leapt. Ryan was lifting a saddle from its place on the wall—not his usual saddle—and the muscles in his back were straining beneath his tight shirt. His hat rested on a bench beside him, and his hair was still a little damp where it curled against his neck, like he had just stepped out of the shower. He set the saddle down on the bench, then glanced over his shoulder and smiled. "Good morning." "You're early." Ryan was never there before Teo. Teo invariably met him at the doorway with the horses, ready to swing on. The damp hair made his mouth water. He wanted to know what it felt like against his tongue, as if they were standing in the shower 98

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instead of the tack room, and Teo was pressed to Ryan's back, jacking him off. "Yeah. I haven't really been sleeping that well, so I figured I'd just come down here and wait for you." Ryan gestured at the saddles. "Clay and I were talking last night about how we should sort and organize the tack room. I realized I didn't even know what was in here anymore." "You don't have to do this." Though watching the play of muscles beneath Ryan's shirt was definitely worth the view. "Unless you want to do this instead of ride." "Nope, not at all." Ryan reached for his hat. "I was just getting a start on it while I waited for you." Teo closed the distance without thinking, grabbing Ryan's wrist before he could pick it up. It wasn't the smartest thing he'd ever done. Now the clean scent of Ryan's skin made his cock strain against his zipper. He swallowed. "Why haven't you been sleeping?" Ryan's unwavering gaze met his. "Because I spend all night thinking about you." His grip tightened. Hearing it said aloud hit as hard now as it had when Ryan had first confessed his attraction. "You need to sleep. You work too hard not to." Ryan looked down to where Teo held his wrist, then lifted his eyes again. "I don't disagree. But I also don't know of any way to get you off my mind. You don't look like you've been getting a lot of sleep yourself." "I never do." But Ryan knew that. And Teo knew there was only one thing that would solve both of their problems. 99

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Without looking away, Teo pushed Ryan's wrist into the wall, trapping his arm in place. His other hand snaked around Ryan's waist and rested on his belt buckle. "Nobody's here but us." Ryan tilted his head back, looking up to Teo's shaded eyes. "No. We'll have the barn to ourselves for awhile. If you want to do this instead of ride." Teo snapped open the buckle, followed by the button-fly. "Will this get me off your mind?" Ryan tensed, and Teo heard the click of his throat as he swallowed. Teo's fingernails scraped across Ryan's briefs, and his cock jerked in response. "It ... can't really hurt the situation." "Really?" Lowering his head, he licked a path along Ryan's nape, moaning softly as the taste he'd desired now flooded his mouth. He curled his hand around Ryan's covered shaft and squeezed. "I don't have any lube on me. I think that might end up hurting a little bit." Ryan tried to thrust forward, but Teo didn't give him enough room to move. He was stuck against the wall, his cock straining in Teo's hand. "I think you might be right. But I don't want you to stop." "Oh, I wasn't giving you that option." He loved feeling how Ryan strained against his greater strength. He would never hurt the other man, but knowing he was in control and knowing what it took to keep it made the sex with him all that much sweeter for Teo. "I am going to fuck you. It's all I've been thinking about all week." 100

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Ryan moaned softly. "Me, too. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I thought maybe ... I was the only one thinking about it." Teo slid his hand inside Ryan's briefs, ignoring his cock to push the garment along with the jeans down Ryan's hips. He had to pull back slightly from grinding his own arousal against Ryan's ass, but he figured the brief absence was worth it. It wouldn't be that long until he was buried in the other man's heat anyway. "I told you. You get under my skin. One night isn't going to change that." As soon as Ryan's pants reached his ankles, he widened his stance as far as he could. Teo pressed against him again, letting the rough denim grind against Ryan's bare skin. The rich smell of leather and hay filled his head, but he barely noticed it. All of his senses were tuned in to Ryan—he still tasted Ryan's skin against his tongue. "Glad to hear that. One night definitely wasn't enough for me." He wanted to ask what would be enough. He wanted to hear Ryan admit that he wanted more, even if he didn't know what he'd do with that knowledge if he got it. But he also wanted to satisfy the need to get more of Ryan. Taste. Touch. Taste some more. Raking his teeth over Ryan's shoulder, Teo mouthed a wet path down his spine, his grip relentless where it refused to relinquish his wrist. He had to turn his body slightly once he reached the upper swell of Ryan's ass, but after he'd pulled away the shirt to expose the tight cheeks, Teo didn't care that 101

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he couldn't feel each breath pounding into his body. He was about to get something even better. Teo pushed two fingers deep inside the crease, forcing the flesh to part. Ryan gasped when he hit the tight ring of muscle, tensing even more when Teo blew across the clenching hole. "It's not quite the same as lube, but I think this'll work, too." Teo sank his teeth into the closest cheek for a scant second before sliding his tongue inward to what he really wanted. Ryan jerked as Teo circled his pucker with the tip of his tongue. Teo had wanted to use his mouth on every part of Ryan during their one night together, but he never got the chance to do this. It would have been impossible to fit everything into those too few hours. He teased the clenched flesh for several beats, wishing he could take his time, even as he was acutely aware of the ticking seconds. Cody and the other hands would begin drifting into the barn no later than five. Ryan turned his face into his free arm, muffling his yelp as Teo pushed his tongue into his ass. He moved in and out of the tight passage slowly, his cock throbbing and leaking precome in his jeans. He considered releasing Ryan's hand to unzip his pants and relieve some of the tension, but he didn't want to let Ryan go. He used teeth as well as tongue, making sure Ryan felt every single bite, every single lick, every single probe. His fingers dug into the muscle, enough so that he wondered if there would be bruises later on. 102

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Teo groaned. His marks on Ryan's lean, hungry body. If he ever saw them, Teo knew he'd sink to his knees and add even more with his teeth and lips. Though the last thing he wanted was to stop those noises coming from Ryan's covered mouth, they didn't have time to do this the way he wanted. Teo slithered back up Ryan's body, deftly undoing his jeans at the same time. His heavy cock slapped against Ryan's ass, and he reached to grasp the other man's chin, pulling his head back up. "Suck on them," he said roughly, stroking Ryan's mouth with two fingers. "I can stretch you a little, but I'm not wasting any more time than I have to." Ryan obediently closed his lips around Teo's fingers. He sucked them deep into his mouth, lavishing Teo's skin with his tongue. Ryan's enthusiasm made Teo's cock throb. His teeth scraped across Teo's knuckles, and he moaned in protest when Teo gently pulled his fingers out. The protest was quickly forgotten, though, as soon as he slid his slick fingers into Ryan's channel. Teo pumped his wrist, eliciting a soft grunt from Ryan. "Oh. Christ." Squeezing his eyes shut, Teo dropped his mouth to Ryan's ear. "I love how much noise you make when I fuck you," he whispered. "Can't help it. Nobody has ever fucked me like you do." The back of his neck sizzled. "You can't make noises like that here, though. We'll wake up the horses, which'll wake up the house." Ryan nodded. "I'll be quiet. I promise." 103

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Teo thought Ryan meant what he said, but he knew he couldn't take the risk. With his body pinning him, he finally let go of Ryan's wrist and used it instead to cover his mouth. "We'll just have to make sure." Pulling out his fingers, he grasped his cock at the root and dragged the tip down to take his fingers' place. He wanted to slam inside. The need made him shake, his palms sweaty. He couldn't, though. Teo pushed forward, feeling the tight ring yield to his thick girth. "Fuck, but I think you're even tighter now than you were before." Ryan responded with a soft moan. It was so soft, Teo almost believed Ryan would be able to keep himself in check as Teo pushed deeper into his ass. But it grew in volume, and before Teo was fully seated, turned into a hungry, keening sound. Teo's fingers tightened on his face, the tips digging into Ryan's cheek. But by the time he was buried up to his balls, Ryan's face was red and he screamed into Teo's palm. He sought out Teo's hip with his newly freed hand, gripping him tightly. He had to hold for a moment once he was fully sheathed. Ryan's velvety walls were a perfect fit, molding around his cock so that it was impossible to consider leaving. Made for him, he thought in his weaker moments. He wouldn't voice those. He didn't want Ryan to realize how deep his feelings were getting. "Should I stop?" The heavy panting against his palm almost convinced him that it was too much. "Nod and I will." It would kill him, but he'd do it. For Ryan. 104

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Ryan quickly shook his head. His lips formed words against Teo's palm. "No ... no ... don't." Teo waited as long as he could, giving Ryan's body a chance to adjust to his width. Ryan's panting increased as Teo pulled his hips back, and his skin burned everywhere. Heat radiated from Ryan's body. The second time he filled Ryan, he bit back his scream, keeping himself to a harsh moan. "I jerk off every morning thinking about you." Teo started a slow but rough rhythm, knowing he'd be plowing into Ryan before too long. "It's getting harder and harder to let you walk away every night." Ryan's nails dug into Teo's hip, creating five crescent marks in his skin. The tension in Ryan's body increased as he spoke, and Ryan clenched around his shaft. Pleasure flared at the base of his spine, licking up his back and through his arms and legs. "Maybe if I fucked you every morning—instead of going for our ride—that would make it better." Teo bit into Ryan's neck, shuddering at the fresh sound to come from his lover. Soothing it over with his tongue, he gripped Ryan's cock and began to strip it at the same tempo he pistoned into his ass. "Or maybe you could just suck me off. I love watching you try and swallow my whole prick." Ryan made a muffled noise, that might have been a groan or it might have been a simple agreement. It didn't matter what the noise meant, though. Ryan's quick nod was unambiguous, and Teo thought Ryan would be game for anything Teo suggested. He felt the flush on Ryan's skin, and 105

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it didn't matter how cold it was in the pre-dawn hour, they were both damp with sweat. It crossed his mind to tell Ryan how much he loved sucking him off, too. How he fantasized just falling asleep with him in his arms. How nice it had been not to have an empty bed for the first time in so many years. But he had already said more than he normally would have been capable of. Ryan drew that out of him. Ryan always had. His strokes grew more violent, his grip on Ryan's shaft tighter. Each slam of flesh to flesh brought new whimpers from the other man—or that could have been Teo. The closer he got to coming, the harder it got to tell who was doing what. As his balls began to tighten, he braced himself wider, scraping straight across Ryan's prostate. He was not coming alone. In that, he was determined. Ryan's whimpers increased until he was almost shouting again. He tilted his head back, looking at Teo with wide, blue eyes. There was something there—something besides desire—but Teo couldn't identify it. He moved his hand and quickly replaced it with his mouth, plunging his tongue past Ryan's lips before he could make a sound. That contact must have been what Ryan had been waiting for, because his body grew taut, his walls tightened around Teo's shaft, and his cock jerked, his come hitting the wall and splashing on Teo's fingers. The smell of it, the stickiness, the simple sweep of Ryan's tongue against his own ... it was too much to withstand. Teo drove one final time into the tight passage, groaning into the kiss as his orgasm ripped through him. He shot deep, blasting 106

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again and again until his balls were completely empty. His head spun. His heart raced. And he knew he'd do it all over again in five minutes if they had the luxury of time. Long after his cock started to soften, Teo sealed his mouth to Ryan's, unwilling to lose what little contact he was allowed. His fingertips caressed Ryan's hollow cheek, etching each quiver of skin into his memory to savor when he was alone again that night. Only thoughts that Cody and Clay would be showing soon convinced him to part. Ryan spun around slowly and sagged against the wall. A smile tugged at his lips as he wiped away the strings of come that still clung to his skin. "We could do that, you know. Go for a ride up to some quiet corner of the ranch and have some time alone." Teo lifted his sticky fingers to his mouth and licked them clean as he contemplated the possibility. "I like that idea," he admitted. "What about Antonio?" Ryan shrugged. "We get back before he wakes up. We need to be back down here before Clay expects to see you for the morning routine, anyway." Except that was sneaking around. He'd already told Ryan he didn't have to worry about that. Yet here they were, doing everything he'd already said wasn't necessary. Using the ends of his shirt to wipe off his cock—he'd have to run home and change before anybody showed up—Teo tucked himself away, still wishing they didn't have to put a stop to it for the day. "I suppose we could do that instead of you coming around the house in the evenings. Probably be more satisfying for you." 107

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"Why instead of?" Ryan zipped up his jeans, then fumbled with his belt, his head down. "I like coming around the house in the evenings." Teo tilted a glance at him through his lashes. "You'd want both?" "Yeah. Do you?" "Always said I wanted to be your friend. This doesn't change that." Ryan nodded and fit his hat over his head, making it difficult to see his eyes. "If I don't see you at lunch, I'll come around after dinner tonight." He felt funny leaving things like this with Ryan. Something was off, but Teo couldn't put his finger on what it was. This sort of thing had never been his forte. "Okay." He realized his voice sounded gruff. Selfconscious, he cleared it. "Maybe ... maybe you could stay a little longer. There's a game on tonight. We could watch it." Ryan smiled. "Sounds good. I'll bring the beer. I think I heard Paige mention that she's baking today. Maybe I can sneak away something sweet, too." Under Ryan's bright gaze, it was easy to smile back. "Sounds like a plan then." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eight A light knock on the door distracted Ryan from Matty's building blocks, and as soon as he stood up, Matty howled and put his arms out. Ryan scooped him up and looked down to where Leni continued to build her castle. "Leni, stay here while I get the door." "Okay, Uncle Ryan." She didn't look up. The knock came again, and Ryan navigated around the toys littering the living room. Paige would probably kill him when she got home, but Ryan didn't know how to play without making a mess. He moved slowly as Matty clung to his neck. Letting Teo fuck him that morning had seemed like the best idea he ever had, but ten hours later, he was still feeling it. He wanted to promise himself that it would never happen without lubricant again, but he knew it was a hollow vow. He'd let Teo fuck him wherever and whenever he wanted, with or without lube. Even if it seemed like that wherever would be out in the wilderness. Tony waited for him on the front porch, and he looked at Matty with wariness. "Are we going to ride today, Ryan?" Ryan left the door open so he could keep an eye on Leni and herded Tony over to the bench. "No, not today. I'm sorry." Matty reached for Tony's hat, a much smaller version of the one his father wore. Tony grimaced and moved out of reach. "Why not?" 109

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Ryan knew that Tony had only asked because his father wasn't there to keep him in line. That was certainly a question Teo wouldn't have approved of. Tony wasn't allowed to question adults. He also knew he shouldn't give Tony an explanation; it would just encourage more questions. But Ryan never discouraged a child's questions in his life, and he didn't think he could start now. "Because I have to babysit right now. Mrs. Putnam isn't home." "Where did she go?" "To take care of a friend." Cody's wife, Jan, was about eleven months pregnant or so it seemed to Ryan and the result was a lot of false alarms. Even so, Paige was taking Cody to meet her at the hospital. "She doesn't plan to be back until later tonight. So I've got to take care of Matty and Leni." Tony frowned. "Riding is more fun." "I don't know. Playing with the blocks is pretty fun. Leni is having a great time. Why don't you go in and play with her?" "Playing blocks is for babies." "No, it's a lot of fun. When was the last time you spent the afternoon playing blocks?" "Can I go to the barn anyway?" It was Ryan's turn to frown. "What do you want to do at the barn? You know you're not allowed to ride Clover without an adult." "I don't want to ride her. I just want to see her." "You're not allowed to go into the stall with her, either." "I know. I promise, I won't." 110

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"If you go into that stall for any reason, I'll know." Which was unlikely, but Ryan was wearing his don't-fuck-with-me teacher face, and he thought Tony would believe him. "And you will not be allowed to ride anymore. I'll take Clover back out to the paddocks. Do you understand me?" Tony looked at him with solemn eyes. "Yes, Ryan." If it were any other kid, Ryan probably wouldn't let him go. But Tony already had his run of the place. Ryan often saw Tony trotting between the barn, the paddocks, the house, and the fields on any given day. Sometimes he was running errands or doing chores. Other times he was playing. Teo had firm rules for him, and Ryan had never seen Tony break those rules. Still, a reminder couldn't hurt. "What are the rules when your dad lets you go to the barn?" "I can't feed the horses. I can't go into the stalls. And I have to leave the barn and go to the house if the hands come in, so I'm not in their way." "Come up to the house when you're done. You can have a snack with the three of us, okay?" Tony jumped to his feet, beaming. "Okay!" Ryan watched him trot out to the barn, until Matty reached for the open door. "Leni." "Yeah, we can go play with Leni now." Ryan stepped into the house just as Leni came toddling into the foyer. "Bored, Uncle Ryan." "I thought we were playing with blocks." Leni shook her head. "Can we watch Big Bird?" 111

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Ryan nodded. Paige had said they could watch a little television after lunch. She clapped and ran back into the living room as fast as her little legs could carry her. "Don't run, Leni." Once Ryan got the kids settled, the afternoon passed quickly. They were good kids, and happily entertained by a combination of television, building blocks, and stories. Leni hauled book after book out of her bedroom, insisting he read to her. The girl was already scary-smart. Personally, Ryan couldn't wait until she started terrorizing her poor parents with real trouble. The side door opened while Ryan was sitting on the couch with a kid on both legs. The heavy tread of boots on the kitchen floor alerted him to who it was, but he was still surprised by Clay's greeting. "What are you doing here?" "Daddy!" Ryan let Leni jump from his lap and run to her father. "What do you mean? You know Paige took Cody to the hospital." "Yeah, but when I got to the barn, Clover wasn't there. I thought you were out riding." Ryan's stomach dropped like a brick. He jumped to his feet and passed Matty to Clay. "I've got to go." "Ryan..." Ryan hurried out the house, flew down the stairs, and raced to the barn. When he saw Teo's familiar form in the yard, it just made his legs move faster, and the weight in his midsection more unbearable. 112

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The frown started the second he noticed Ryan. His head swiveled away for a moment, toward the barn, then back to Ryan with alarming sharpness. "I thought you were with Antonio," he said in lieu of a greeting. "No." Ryan didn't stop moving. He went directly to the barn. He figured he could search the more remote parts of the ranch on Charger—he hadn't tracked anything in a long time but he thought it wouldn't be hard to follow Clover— while Teo or Clay or one of the hands took the truck. "He came and asked if we could ride this afternoon, but I was babysitting Leni and Matt. I told him he could go to the barn, but he couldn't ride." "How long ago?" Teo gave a shrill whistle that attracted the attention of two younger hands. They scuttled over as he matched Ryan's strides. "Tell me where you usually go." "About three hours ago, I think. We usually take the eastern trail, behind the paddocks and over that hill." Ryan gestured. "He likes that trail, so that's probably a good place to start." He barely heard Teo bark out orders to the hands, sending one back up to the house to tell Clay what was going on, while the other went running for the truck. A third came running up to see what was going on, and while Teo grilled him about whether or not he'd seen Tony, Ryan headed straight for the tack room. It was hard to believe it had just been that morning he'd spent with Teo in there. It was harder to believe these were the circumstances that brought him back. 113

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"We'll split up," Teo said. "We'll cover more ground that way." "Right. I've got your number, I'll call you if I find him." Ryan carried his heavy saddle back to Charger's stall. Charger neighed and met him at the door, searching his shirt pocket for sugar with his muzzle. Ryan saddled him quickly, and when he led Charger to the front of the barn, Teo was saddling up a fresh horse. Ryan stopped. He wanted to apologize. But they didn't have time for that. "Tony probably didn't get far." "He better not." Teo's mouth was a thin, white line, his eyes black and thunderous. "He knows better than this." Ryan nodded. Tony did know better, but Tony was a little boy. Little boys did very stupid, impulsive things. He and Clay had already talked it over and decided they would never tell Leni and Matty about some of their exploits. Compared to the stunts they pulled, an unsupervised ride was nothing. But it didn't feel like nothing. It felt like if he didn't find Tony soon, his insides would crawl up through his throat. "We've taken the trail that cuts due north, too. You might want to head up that way yourself." Teo nodded. He pulled the last strap tight, but as he tensed to swing up into the saddle, he glanced back at Ryan. "You'll call the second you find him?" Ryan swallowed. Now there wasn't just anger in Teo's dark eyes. There was a hint of fear. Ryan didn't even want to imagine what would happen to Teo if he ever lost Tony. He'd be destroyed. "Absolutely." After a moment, he added, "Look, we'll probably find him in time for dinner." 114

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Another nod. Once he was settled on his horse, Teo glanced out over the ranch, his gaze sweeping over the landscape. "Just be careful, okay?" Nobody else might have noticed the slight catch in Teo's voice, but Ryan did. He'd spent far too much time memorizing everything about the man to know when emotions were getting the better of him. "Don't take any unnecessary risks. Call for help if you need it." Ryan touched his knee. "Hey, this is my home." Now. Again. "I should be telling you to be careful. So be careful." When Teo covered Ryan's hand with his own without even looking to see who might be watching, Ryan's pulse leapt. Dry, callused fingers had never felt so good. "Antonio's going to be the one who needs you when we find him," Teo said. "Otherwise, I'm going to lock him in his room for the next thirty years." "No, you won't." Ryan stepped back, pulling away from Teo's touch with a twinge of regret. "You'll forget all about locking him up when you see him again, you'll be so relieved." The look on Teo's face said he doubted it. With a flick of his wrist and a kick of his heels, he was gone. Ryan didn't watch him ride away. He turned back to his horse and mounted him, kicking Charger's ribs before he was even properly seated. He wouldn't think about how large the ranch truly was. He wouldn't think about the number of miles they would have to cover to check every hill and behind every tree. He'd just focus on getting Tony home in time for dinner. **** 115

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The dinner hour came and went. Clay called him once, to let him know Paige was home, and he'd be joining the search. He called Teo once to learn his location. But as the sun started to set, everything was quiet. He strained his eyes in the darkness, looking for any tracks. At first, those were just Clover's, but as the evening progressed, he began looking for signs of moose, or mountain lions, or even coyotes. Any animal, really, that would be attracted to something small and helpless. He wasn't going back to the house until Tony was found. He didn't care if that meant he had to stay out all night. Teo's anger and disappointment had been directed in Tony's direction, but Ryan thought by the time Tony was brought back, safe and sound, Teo would merely shift targets. The fact was, Ryan had spent over three weeks working with Tony in the afternoon. Teo never formally asked Ryan to keep an eye on him during the day, but Ryan had assumed that responsibility. He shouldn't have let Tony go to the barn. He should have just made Tony wait until Clay came in for the night, and then go with him to the barn. Or send him to his father. "Tony? Tony? Are you here? Tony?" His voice was hoarse, his throat scratchy, but that wasn't enough to keep him from shouting. Probably by the time he made it back to the house, he'd have laryngitis. That hardly seemed to matter. A part of him believed he deserved much worse for this. "Tony? Please..." 116

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Something that could have been his name drifted through the deep shadows. The moon was just a silver sliver, and it could have been anything in the trees. Ryan pulled Charger to a stop. "Tony?" Another whisper of sound. Charger's ears turned the direction from which it came, and Ryan tugged on the reins. "Tony?" Now it wasn't just an unformed sound. It was a whimper. A very small, human whimper. Ryan ducked through overreaching branches, keeping Charger at a slow walk. He watched the thin, shifting light, waiting to see the form of a small boy. "Tony?" "Ryan?" Ryan had never felt like he'd throw up from relief, but it seemed a possibility now. He jumped down from his horse. "Tony, come here." Tony darted out from behind a tree, and Ryan crouched to catch him. He wrapped his arms around Tony in a tight hug, holding him close and feeling his warm tears against his neck. "What happened?" Ryan asked even though he didn't really care about the answer. Not right now. "You scared the hell out of us, Tony." "Dad is going to be so mad." "No. No..." "Please don't tell him." "I have to call him." Ryan took his shoulders and pushed him back. "Are you hurt? Is there anything wrong?" "No. I'm not hurt." 117

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"Where is Clover?" "I don't know." Now the pitch of his voice rose to a near wail. "I couldn't find her. I'm sorry, Ryan." Ryan pulled him into another hug. "It's fine. It's fine. I'll find her. Let me call your dad." He fished the phone out of his pocket without releasing Tony. He wasn't going to let the boy go again until he could give him to Teo. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Nine Teo stood in the doorway of the bedroom, watching Antonio huddled under his blanket. He'd said very little after Ryan had arrived, though the first thing he'd done was pull the boy off Charger and squeeze him until Antonio gasped for relief. He wasn't sure what to say just yet. Punishment would have to be doled out, but he didn't want to do that until tomorrow. His mind was still too awash with the fears the day had wrought for him to think clearly. So he'd taken Antonio home, checked him over to make sure he was as unharmed as he claimed, watched him scarf down a peanut butter and banana sandwich and a glass of milk, then hustled him off to bed. Clay was giving him the next morning off to deal with it, but Teo had every intention of going out at the crack of dawn to hunt down Clover. He'd leave Antonio at the main house with Paige. The boy would have to put up with having a set of adult eyes glued to his every motion for a long time to come. When the call had come from Ryan, Teo almost shouted in relief. Not since Carmen's death had he thought about how it would feel to lose Antonio. He'd been so grateful to still have his son that he'd set aside any contemplation on what a life without both of them would be like. Brooding didn't do anybody any good. It was better to go on and appreciate what you had. But today ... today had been hell. It was terrifying to think how empty his life would be without his son. Teo knew he was overprotective, that in the grand 119

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scheme of things it was more important Antonio was safe and sound. But the ranch was a large place. It was his own fault for not making sure Antonio didn't know it better. It wouldn't happen again. Which didn't help make him look any less overprotective, but Teo didn't care. A sound from the kitchen reminded Teo he wasn't alone. Ryan had followed him back to the cottage, hanging in the background and just being helpful in the face of how useless Teo felt. He needed to thank him for everything, for how diligently he'd searched, for finding Antonio. Nothing he could do would ever be enough. Ryan handed him a glass of whiskey as soon as he stepped into the room. Teo took it silently, nodding in gratitude, and downed it in a single swallow. The fiery burn did little to clear his head, though the slow seeping to his muscles, relaxing them, was more than welcome. "Thanks," he said, handing back the glass. He watched Ryan turn again to the counter and pour out another shot. For the first time, he noticed just how wracked Ryan appeared. His face was drawn, eyes more haunted than ever. There was a slight stoop to his shoulders, too, as if he was exhausted. Guilt sliced through Teo. He probably was. He'd spent just as long as Teo did searching for Antonio, and he'd been the one to actually find him. "He's asleep," he said when Ryan gave him the second whiskey. "Can you tell Mrs. Putnam I'll drop him off in the morning so I can go do the search for Clover?"

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Ryan shook his head. "No. You should stay here with Tony, like Clay said. You don't know how he's going to feel tomorrow. I'll look for her." "You've done enough." "I haven't done nearly enough. She'll probably make her way back to the barn, anyway. So stay with your son." Teo swirled the whiskey around in the glass. "I have to figure out how to punish him for this. Any suggestions?" Ryan didn't answer him immediately. When Teo glanced up, he could see a hint of surprise on Ryan's face. "I ... well, I know you probably still want to lock him in a room and never let him out. Or park him up at the house with Paige. But the kid wants to spend time at the barn, so I think you should let him be in the barn. Cleaning saddles and tack, mucking out stalls, that sort of thing." "You don't think he'll try another stunt with Clover again?" "He'll be too tired after all that back-breaking labor. Besides..." Ryan looked down, the brim of his hat blocking his face. "I think he's learned his lesson. And I won't ... you'll just have to make sure he's not unsupervised." "Yeah." Rubbing a weary hand over his head, Teo mentally ran through the list of people he trusted not to encourage Antonio's rebellious behavior. It wasn't very long. Clay and his wife, Ryan, maybe Cody on a good day. Hopefully, Ryan hadn't counted off the boy completely. Draining the second whiskey, Teo set the glass on the counter and jerked his head toward the living room. "Come on, let's go sit down. You look dead on your feet." 121

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Ryan took a step towards him, but shook his head. "No, I'm not dead yet. I think I might go look for Clover now. Clay won't like having her out all night." Teo frowned. He didn't like how shuttered Ryan was to him at the moment. "Clay won't expect you to do more than you've already done. And besides, this is my problem to fix." "No, it's not. You thought Tony was with me. Like he's been with me every afternoon for the past two weeks." As Ryan spoke, he crossed to the back door. Teo was about to stop him from leaving when he turned. "You can tell me tomorrow if you want me to take Clover back out to the herd." "Now why the hell would I want you to do that?" He stared at him, perplexed. "I don't like what the boy did, but he still needs to be taught. Unless..." He stopped. Ryan was clearly taking responsibility he didn't need to shoulder for this entire incident. He probably wanted to be done with both of them. No amount of amazing sex was worth the hassle of dealing with somebody else's wayward kid. "You don't have to do this," he repeated. "Do yourself a favor and go hit the sack if you don't want to stick around here." "Just let me know what you want to do." Ryan tugged the door open and stepped out onto the porch. The green smell of summer wafted into the kitchen, and Teo wished they were going to sit outside together. But he didn't think Ryan would agree to that, either. "I'll see you tomorrow." He wasn't going to let Ryan just walk away like that, even if he didn't want to stay. His footsteps felt like lead as he 122

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followed him out into the cool night, but Teo didn't allow Ryan to venture off the porch before grabbing his arm. "I don't want Clover to be put out with the herd," he said. "I'd like for you to keep teaching Antonio, but if you don't want to, I need to know that." There wasn't enough light from the house to read Ryan's face, but Teo thought it was a good sign that Ryan didn't immediately pull his arm away. "Of course I want to work with him. I love ... I love teaching him. Not that he's going to need Clover for awhile." "Well, no." He took hope in Ryan's continued stillness and let the tips of his fingers caress the tense muscle. "I think I'm going to take your suggestion about making him clean up. As much as he loves those horses, it'll kill him not to be able to touch them. That's punishment enough for anyone." "Yeah. I think that'll get through to him." Ryan tilted his head. "Are you okay?" "No, not really," Teo blurted it out without thinking, then felt immediate regret that he was unburdening himself on Ryan. Letting him go, he rubbed at his eyes. "It's just been a pisser of a day. And my head feels like someone filled it up with rocks." He waited for Ryan to jump off the porch, but Ryan touched his shoulder and gently turned him back towards the door. "I didn't even think about it, but you probably had to take over Cody's work today, too, on top of everything else. You sit down, and I'll get you something to eat." Teo let himself be guided back inside, relieved when the door clicked shut behind Ryan. He really didn't want to be 123

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alone. If Ryan was willing to stick around to feed him, that had to mean there was something left to salvage. "Don't fuss too much," he said. "There's leftover chili in the fridge. Just throw it in the microwave and we can both have something to eat then." Ryan pulled out the covered bowl of chili and silently put it in the microwave. Teo expected him to sit down, but he continued rooting through the fridge, randomly puling out whatever vegetables he could find. Most of them were pretty fresh, thanks to the decent sized garden Paige kept near the house. "I think I owe you." Now Ryan was looking through the cupboards. "For all the meals you've made for me." At least with his back to him, Teo could watch Ryan without fear of censure. In spite of his exhaustion, memories of that morning filtered back to him, how Ryan had felt against Teo's chest, how exhilarating it had been to be able to pound into him. Ryan had loved it, too, but now, Teo wasn't going to risk pushing the attraction until he knew for sure where they stood. It was entirely possible their time in the tack room might be their last. That, more than anything else, swamped him in regret. "Are you going to stay and eat with me, too?" he asked. "Sure." The timer went off and Ryan opened the microwave to stir the chili. "I didn't know how hungry I was until I started thinking about food." Ryan began cutting the vegetables, the knife flying over the cutting board with ease. Teo remembered Ryan mentioning he knew how to cook, though he had never given Ryan a chance to demonstrate 124

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that knowledge. "I did the same thing once or twice. Take off and get my fool self lost." "Mrs. Putnam told me the same thing, trying to make me feel better about it all. I guess I forget not everybody knows the ranch like me and Clay do." "Hey!" Despite his protest, Ryan was smiling for the first time that night. "I was six when I got my fool self lost, thank you very much. And if Paige knows about it, that's because Clay was telling her stories. He never let me forget about it, either. He's always gotta be the big brother." Teo's mouth relaxed at the lightness of Ryan's tone. This was better. This was more like how things had always been between them, the camaraderie that made it so easy to simply be with Ryan. The sex was phenomenal, and just looking at the other man was enough to make him hungry to touch him, but it was the friendship he offered that Teo treasured the most. "That was always my job. My kid sisters weren't so bad, but my baby brother is a real piece of work." Teo grimaced. "Was, I mean." "Yeah, I know about baby brothers. Mine is raising hell and breaking hearts all over the western United States." The microwave dinged again, and Ryan carefully removed the bowl. "How many siblings do you have?" Teo had never really talked much about his family, beyond the vague details he'd shared about how they'd disowned him after Kirk. If Ryan had asked, he probably would have answered, but Ryan never had—until now. 125

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"Three. Duena and Coraly, and then the Mendez devil, Nardo. I haven't seen any of them in ... eleven years." "I'm sorry to hear that." Ryan carefully poured the hot chili into two bowls. "They probably miss you, too. Do you think ... you'll see them again?" "I dunno." The question made him ache. It always had. "My family was always very traditional. When my parents caught me with Kirk, they made it very clear what their opinions were. Nardo was louder than the both of them combined, and my sisters..." Teo shrugged. "It used to be, they didn't do anything to go against our parents. Now, there's no saying." Ryan put two bowls in front of him, one with chili, one with the fresh salad. He added silverware and a cold bottle of beer. "I would say that I can't believe somebody would do that to their own son ... or brother. Still, your sisters at least ... there might be something salvageable there. Especially if they want to meet their nephew." Ryan paused before sitting down across the table from Teo. "I'm sorry. This isn't really any of my business, is it?" "Don't apologize. You're the first person I've met in years I'm even comfortable talking to about all this." On impulse, he reached over and grasped Ryan's hand, squeezing it quickly. "You can say whatever you like to me. I thought you knew that." Ryan turned his hand over and wrapped his fingers around Teo's. "You should eat your chili before it gets cold." He took comfort in the fact that Ryan didn't pull away, but Teo refused to push his luck. Picking up his spoon, he dug 126

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into his meal, all too aware of the glances Ryan kept shooting in his direction. It took several bites before he joined in. Teo was just glad he finally did. "I've thought about it." At Ryan's frown, Teo clarified. "Contacting Duena or Corrie to see how they are. But then I remember I don't even know where they are now, so I'd have to call Papa to find out, and, well, I'm a lot braver with horses than I am about people. Especially Papa." "What if you didn't have to talk to him? What if you could find them without his help?" Teo considered the questions as he slowly chewed. "I wouldn't have any idea how to go about doing that. But if I did, maybe, yeah. I'd probably try for Antonio's sake." "I would. Have an idea how to do it, that is." Ryan spoke without looking up, as though he was fascinated by the tomatoes in his bowl. "You learn a few things when you live with a lawyer for almost a decade." "You would do that for me?" "I would." He glanced up. "For you and Tony." His first instinct was to grab Ryan by the shirtfront, drag him to his feet, and kiss him until neither one of them could breathe anymore. He'd never known anyone who gave of himself as much as Ryan did, and the fact that he cared enough—about him, but especially about Antonio—banished the doubts Teo had harbored about their friendship. Ryan wouldn't go to such lengths to help without good reason. The guilt he shouldered for what had happened that day couldn't be all of it. 127

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He held back from doing so, though. He just smiled and said, "Why don't we talk about it after we get Antonio's punishment over with, then? That'll give you time to change your mind about getting involved in my crazy family politics." Ryan returned his smile. "I don't think I'll change my mind. But you're right. We should talk about it more when things calm down around here." Teo dug into his food with fresh enthusiasm. Not because of the possibility of speaking to Duena or Corrie after all these years, but because Ryan was sitting across from him, smiling, talking, consenting to future plans that included the both of them working together. It was all he could ask for. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Ten Ryan sipped his coffee and watched Tony tentatively approach the kitchen table. Tony had been scared, but it was obvious in the morning light that there was nothing else wrong with him. Ryan had to admit, though, he looked a little scared now. "Ryan?" "Yes?" "I'm sorry." Ryan set his cup down and glanced over to Paige, who stood by the sink. They exchanged a small smile before he focused on Tony again. "I know you are." "Can we go to the barn today?" "Nope." Tony's eyes widened. "Please?" "Nope. You won't be going back to the barn this week. Now go play with Leni. She wants to play with you." "She wants me to play house with her dolls." Ryan bit back his smile. "I guess you better get used to it, because you're not leaving today." Tony looked like he wanted to argue some more, but Ryan merely quirked his brow. Tony's shoulders slumped and he slouched out of the kitchen, dragging his feet and looking like Ryan had just beaten him. Ryan frowned as he watched him go, then looked up to Paige. "I have a feeling he wouldn't try that crap with his dad." 129

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The glance she shot him was sympathetic. "He's testing his boundaries with you. He already knows his boundaries with Teo." "Yeah, I guess so. Maybe that's why he thought he could get away with his little stunt." Wiping her hands on a towel, Paige turned around and leaned against the counter to watch him with kind eyes. "That had nothing to do with you, Ryan. That had to do with a seven-year-old boy in love with a horse. It was bound to happen sooner or later." "But I'm responsible for what that seven-year-old boy does with his horse. Every time I think about what could have happened to him, I feel sick. And then I think about what that would have done to Teo and I..." Ryan drank from his cup. "I'm just happy that it all turned out okay." His hope that his almost admission would pass unnoticed disappeared when Paige came over and sat next to him. "Is this about Tony?" she asked gently. "Or is this about Teo?" Ryan hesitated. Teo had said sneaking around wasn't necessary, and Ryan hadn't gone out of his way to conceal the fact that he spent as much time as he could with the other man. "It's probably about Teo." "Oh, Ryan..." The hand that covered his was small and soft, but the warmth seeping into him from it was more than welcome. "Though I guess that explains why we haven't seen that much of you lately. But ... don't you think you should be more careful than that? Teo's not stupid. He's going to figure out you have a crush on him, and then what'll happen?" 130

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Ryan's mouth went dry at the memory of what Teo had done when he learned of Ryan's so-called crush. But he couldn't imagine saying as much to his brother's wife. Though he could hint at it. "He's a smart man, Paige, but he didn't figure it out. I had to tell him. And he responded pretty much like I hoped he would." It took a moment, but his meaning sank in. Paige's eyes widened. "Teo? Really?" Ryan couldn't help but chuckle. "Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. I imagine I had the same look on my face when I realized Teo wasn't completely straight. Well, I probably looked more shocked, because I learned that fact after he kissed me." "He kissed you?" Even Paige caught the surprise in her voice, and she wrinkled her nose as she shook her head. "Wow, I did not mean for it to sound like that. It's just ... do you know how many women I've had ask me about Teo? And I've never even seen him be anything but polite to any of them. Or even any of the other hands." She paused, her eyes growing contemplative. "Though that explains even more, now that I think about it." "He likes women, too. His wife was the love of his life, after all. He just ... he's more worried about raising Tony and working than he is about a relationship right now. We were just friends for the first couple of weeks..." Ryan frowned. "Now I don't know what we are, exactly."

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Paige regarded him, clearly waiting for him to continue. When he didn't, she asked, "Why? Because of what happened yesterday? Teo doesn't blame you for that." "No, he doesn't. Which isn't what I expected. But ... look ... I can never spend the night at his place, which is perfectly fair and makes sense, because of Tony. But we're reduced to sneaking around while everybody is asleep, like a couple of teenagers." Ryan smiled a little. "I had my problems with John, but that was never one of them. You're the only person who knows now, and I don't see that changing any time soon." "If you don't like sneaking around, you should tell him." "I don't think he likes sneaking around either. But I don't want to push for more than he wants right now. Teo has got some pretty firm boundaries and lines, and sometimes, I don't know when I'm crossing one." Paige nodded in agreement. "I think that's probably why Teo and Clay get along as well as they do. They can be two peas in a pod, sometimes." "Yeah. Well, that thought is a little disturbing." Ryan played with his cup, noticing that it was practically cold. "Maybe I should just suck it up and treat him like I would treat any guy I like." "Meaning...?" "Ask him out on a date like a normal person. If he's cool being seen together, then I know where I stand. If he's not ... then I still know where I stand." Rising from her seat, Paige took his cup over to the sink and dumped out the contents. "Are you going to be all right if 132

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he says no?" she asked as she refilled it with fresh coffee. "Not that I don't think a date isn't a great idea, but you two still have to work together afterward." Paige asked a fair question, but ultimately, that consideration didn't matter. He knew he would be happy with whatever sort of relationship Teo wanted. If that meant they spent all their time pretending they just worked together and sneaking around after everybody went to sleep, then Ryan would live with that. But before he settled, he wanted to be sure that's what Teo wanted. "I think it's already too late to worry about that, Paige. I'll be all right if he says no. I just need to know, either way." "Well, I can't say I blame you about that." She set his coffee back down in front of him and smiled. "I just don't want to see you hurt again. Break-ups are never fun." Ryan's stomach turned at the thought. He'd rather keep the status quo than risk losing whatever he had with Teo. But he remembered the way Teo had asked him to stay the night before, and how he had smiled when Ryan sat down to eat with him. He didn't think Teo would hurt him. "No, they're not. I'm not looking forward to going through that again." Ryan stirred a teaspoon of sugar into his cup. "If we do go out, would you watch Tony?" "Of course. Anything you want." Her eyes twinkled. "Wear that blue shirt when you do. He won't be able to resist you." Ryan smiled. "Why, Mrs. Putnam, what would your husband say if he knew you were checking me out? Not that I blame you." 133

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Paige laughed, but before she could respond, Matty screamed in either amusement or pain. It was difficult for Ryan to tell, but not for Paige. She jumped to her feet and hurried to the living room, leaving Ryan alone with his thoughts. He wasn't going to change his mind about this. If nothing else, he needed Teo to know that he didn't just view him as a rebound. Or a good lay. That there could be more there, if Teo wanted it. **** It took most of the morning to find a few minutes to talk to Clay, but just before eleven, Teo finally got it. "I've been thinking about Antonio's punishment for yesterday." Pushing his hat back, he wiped the sweat from his brow. "What do you think about putting him to work in the barn?" Clay looked up from the barbed-wire fence he was mending. "That's fine with me. But you should talk to Ryan about it. Or one of the other hands you trust. Because I don't want him in there unsupervised." "No, I don't either." He paused. "It was Ryan's idea, actually. So he'd probably agree to watching him if I asked." "Sounds good, then." Clay straightened. "How is Tony this morning? No problems?" "Not a one. He's waiting for the hammer to drop, I think. Ryan'll let me know if he acts up today with Mrs. Putnam." "Is that where Ryan is? Up at the house?" Clay shook his head. "You notice how he's managed to not do any work the whole time he's been here? He's gotten lazy since he left." 134

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Teo frowned. Lazy was the last word he'd apply to Ryan. "Did you want him doing more? Because it's my fault he's not. I'm the one who asked for his help with Antonio." "No, I'll talk to him about it. I just figured he'd at least come down here to work on the fences today since he's not going riding with Antonio." Clay leaned against the fence post and took his thick gloves off. "I just don't know what he's doing with his time. He leaves in the morning before I even have breakfast, and he's back long after we've gone to bed." Teo regarded the other man carefully. Clay was more than a boss; he was a friend. It wasn't the same as his friendship with Ryan, but Teo had never felt the need to be anything less than honest with Clay. He didn't want the truth about him and Ryan to be the thing that changed that. But even now, he was unsure how Clay would react. He was comfortable enough with his brother's sexuality, but in spite of Ryan's protestations to the contrary, Teo knew it would be different for him. He liked his private life exactly that. Toss in the fact that Clay had actually known Carmen, too, and maybe hearing his relationship with Ryan wasn't exactly platonic might be enough to fire him. It certainly wouldn't be the first time he'd been kicked out of a home for being attracted to a man. The only problem was ... Ryan deserved better. Teo didn't want to hide him, like some dirty little secret. And he'd already told Ryan to come clean if the situation arose. "Well, I can answer that for you," he said. "Ryan rides with me in the morning. And he comes out to the house for dinner. Sometimes, we forget what time it is afterward." 135

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Clay didn't look away from Teo's steady gaze. "So he's been spending a lot of time with you. Didn't you already talk to him about Tony's punishment?" "Yeah. I asked him to stick around last night. It helped having him around." He took a deep breath. "It always does." "Does he know it helps you to have him around?" His first instinct was to say, Yes, of course, he does, but then the image of Ryan's face rose before his mind's eye. How he hadn't been able to look straight at Teo for hours after he'd brought Antonio back. How even sitting in the kitchen had been excruciating until they had finally gotten off the subject of the day's events. "I thought he did," Teo finally said. "Now ... I'm not so sure." "Why? Because of what happened last night? He feels like shit about that, you know. And he didn't have to tell me. He's got that look in his eyes. The one that says he's just waiting for the hammer to come down." With a growl, Teo took his hat off and ran a frustrated hand over his head. "I know. Damn it, I know he's blaming himself. And I told him last night he was being ridiculous. It's not his fault what happened. But nothing I do seems to convince him he's the best thing that's happened to me and Antonio for a long time." Clay's eyebrows furrowed beneath his hat. "He might need to be told that, too. I mean, I can't tell you what's going on in his head ... or too much of what's going on between the two of you, but he's ... a bit insecure. And he just got dumped." 136

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Teo didn't need the reminder about John. Every other thought of his was a fear that this would turn into a rebound thing for Ryan. But the reminder that Clay was still mostly in the dark about everything rang all too clear. "Well, he shouldn't be that insecure as far as I'm concerned." He braced himself for Clay's reaction. "Considering I'm the one who asked him to stay with me the night of the barbecue." Clay wandered over to his truck and snagged a tall bottle of water from the cabin. "He might be worried it's just about spending the night. Near as I can tell, Ryan's never been casual about ... dating or relationships." "Neither am I. He knows that." Teo paused, considering what he'd just said. "Well, I think he knows that, at least." "Tell him. Then you'll know he knows it." Clay offered the bottle to Teo, but he shook his head. "If the two of you are keeping things private just because you want privacy, that's fine. None of my business. But my Mama is buried just up that hill over there, and she raised me to know that family always comes first. And Paige loves that boy of yours." Teo's throat tightened. He considered the Good Fortune home, the Putnams and all the hands family, but hearing it come straight from Clay meant so much more than just holding it close to his heart. He nodded, not trusting his voice, and turned back to the fence they'd been working on mending. It felt better having his hands busy. It gave him strength to finally speak again. "I won't hurt him. You have my word on that." 137

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"Good. I'm still his big brother, so I'd be obliged to fight you if you did." Clay looked at him from the corner of his eye. "And I'd rather not, since you're a good piece bigger than I am." His mouth slanted into a half-smile. "Can't say I'd look forward to being on the receiving end of your right hook. You're mean when you're pissed." Clay's smile matched his. "That's what I've been told. You both had a long night last night. Leave Tony at the house with us and take a break." A break. With Ryan. And no Antonio. Hours alone. "Let me swing the idea by Ryan," he said, suppressing his excitement about the idea. "I'll let you know." He really hoped he'd be taking Clay up on his babysitting offer. **** Ryan didn't want to seem too overeager, but he was on his feet and heading to the front door as soon as he heard Clay's truck in the yard. Even if Teo wasn't with Clay, Ryan knew he could probably find him down in the barn. But when he stepped out onto the front porch, he recognized Teo's familiar form in the passenger side of the truck, and he felt a familiar tightness in his chest at the sight of him. Clay jumped out of the truck first and hurried up to the house. Ryan braced himself for at least a comment about his laziness, but Clay didn't do anything except smile a little bit and slap him on the shoulder. Before Ryan could ask what that was about, Teo slammed the passenger door shut and 138

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adjusted his hat. His arms flexed beneath his form-fitting, denim shirt, and Ryan felt a different sort of tightness. He met Teo at the foot of the stairs. "Hey." The answering smile was soft and did absolutely nothing to quell his rising desire. "You're looking more relaxed today. No problems with Antonio?" "I don't think he believed me this morning when I said we weren't going to the barn, but he settled down. Leni's been keeping him line." "He's going to hate hearing he's spending the night here, then." Teo took a half-step closer, hooking his thumb through a belt loop as he bent his head in Ryan's direction. "Unless you say no to dinner in town with me." Ryan studied his face, looking for any sign that Teo was joking—though he had never seen Teo joke about anything before. Maybe Teo could read minds as well as all of his other talents. "I'm not going to say no to dinner." Ryan didn't even think about keeping a respectable space between them. He couldn't, not when Teo was that close. "I was going to ask you to dinner." Teo didn't touch him, but Ryan felt the shift in his muscles as he shortened their proximity as tangibly as if he'd pressed him to another wall. "I know what my reasons are." Even the low richness of his voice sent a tingle down Ryan's spine. "But what's yours?" "I wanted..." Ryan was forced to look away for the first time. "I wanted to see if you'd go out on a normal date with me." 139

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Silence followed. Long, heavy, interminable silence. "I guess Clay was right. I really should've made sure you knew I don't waste time with casual relationships." His gaze snapped back. "Wait. You talked to Clay about us? And the nature of our relationship?" "Yeah. Why not? I already told you I wouldn't ask you to sneak around." "Well. Yeah, I know you said that. I just ... never expected you to talk about something so personal." The rest of Teo's statement caught up to his surprised brain, and he smiled. "So this isn't a casual thing?" Teo's black gaze remained solemn. "Not for me, it isn't. I've wanted more than just sex from you from the beginning. But what about you?" Ryan touched Teo's hip. "I want to go out to dinner with you." Though Teo didn't reach out to him, the promise of his sweeping gaze more than made up for it. "We have all night if we want it. Clay offered to keep Antonio for us." Ryan smiled, appreciating Clay's gesture for what it was. Clay didn't need to offer, because of what amounted to Paige's open door policy when it came to children. But that didn't matter. It was an implicit stamp of approval. "I definitely want it." Ryan inhaled deeply. Teo smelled like sun and sweat, and he wanted to lick the column of his throat and gather up the salty taste of his skin. He also smelled like he had been working out in the sun all day. "Why don't we go get cleaned up and I'll meet you back here in thirty minutes?" 140

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"Make it forty-five." Teo sighed and finally stepped back, his eyes turning to the house. "I still need to talk to Antonio about his punishment." "I'll go get him for you. It might take a grown man to pull him free of Leni." Ryan itched to take Teo by the back of the neck and kiss him until he was breathless, but he resisted the urge. Just because Teo was willing to go for dinner didn't mean he wanted to make out in the front yard. But he promised himself that when he finally got his mouth on Teo again, he wouldn't let him go. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eleven Teo hadn't been on a date in years. After Carmen's death, he'd focused on Antonio, on building a future for them together without the benefit of his mother's presence. There had been no time for relationships, and he'd certainly never felt the inclination. Ryan was the first person he'd met he'd even considered something more with, but a date—for as good of an idea as it sounded when he'd seen the look on Ryan's face—still left him anxious. He showered quickly, scrubbing away the grime of the day. He even shaved again to get rid of the shadow forming on his jaw. Choosing what to wear wasn't nearly as easy, and he stood in front of his closet feeling ridiculous that he couldn't decide which of his few nice shirts looked better on him. In the end, he chose a deep burgundy with a shadow stripe that he'd worn for the Christmas pageant at Antonio's school the year before. He didn't own anything but jeans, but with his good boots and best belt, he didn't think they looked too bad. This was ranching country. Even in town, people wouldn't expect any different. His palms were sweaty as he pulled up to the house. Killing the engine, Teo wiped them on his jeans before climbing out of the truck. He had only taken a few steps before the front door opened and Ryan came out onto the porch. Even before their eyes met, Teo's mouth went dry. Ryan wore a dark blue shirt open at the collar. The color was just dark enough to bring out the blue in his eyes. It was 142

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tight enough to stretch across his compact body, accentuating the strength in his shoulders and chest. He also opted for a pair of jeans, but for the first time since they met, he wasn't wearing his cowboy hat. His dark brown hair was damp and slicked back from his forehead. He was also clean-shaven, and Teo noticed just how tan he was from the sun. His boots clicked against the wood as he crossed the porch and hurried down the stairs. He greeted Teo with a wide and easy smile, but he stopped just short of touching him. "You clean up nice." Teo coughed, trying to clear his throat. "Not as nice as you." His gaze swept over Ryan again, lingering on his slim hips for long seconds. His hands itched to touch. "Is this a trick to keep us from making it off the ranch?" "Maybe it's a trick to get us back to the ranch early." "I'm thinking it's going to work." He held back from opening the door for Ryan, checking the movement to go back around the front of the truck. When they were both inside, away from anyone who could hear, he added, "I don't think anything we eat for dinner tonight could possibly taste as good as you're going to when I get you home again." "If you keep talking like that, we're not even going to get out of the yard." Ryan was still smiling, but his tone was completely serious. He slid across the seat, but didn't quite touch him. Teo didn't know if Ryan was trying to drive him crazy, but it was working. "You know, I told Paige about us today. She was shocked." Teo turned the key in the ignition, glad for the distraction. "Because she didn't suspect?" 143

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"Of course she didn't suspect the two of us. She didn't even think you'd be interested in a man ... any man." It was hard not to smile as he pulled away from the house. "If memory serves, neither did you." "I absolutely thought you were completely straight. I told her I didn't suspect anything until you kissed me, and her eyes about bugged out of her head." "You got a better show than I did, then. Clay barely blinked." Ryan snorted. "I can imagine. Clay is far too practical minded to be surprised by anything." He touched Teo's thigh. "Do you ... feel better now that he knows?" He considered the question as they rumbled along the dirt lane to the main road. "I'll admit, I was a little afraid he was going to do something drastic when he found out the truth. It feels good knowing I'm not being judged except by the caliber of my character." "Well, by him, at least. I judge you by how tight your pants are." Ryan squeezed his thigh. "Just so you know, Paige was surprised but not, you know, upset or anything." "That's good." And it was. Not that he expected her to be anything but sweet and charming as ever, but knowing that Antonio wouldn't feel repercussions about his choices made Teo breathe easier. "What about you? How do you feel?" "I feel ... great. But maybe that's because I've never been out to dinner with anybody like you before." Teo frowned. "What do you mean, like me?" "For one thing, you're the best looking guy I've ever been with. But if that's too shallow for you ... I don't think I've ever 144

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been this excited about a simple date. And it's not because you clean up good." He started flushing at the first compliment. He was used to getting second looks from people, but Teo had never been a vain man. By the time Ryan was done, Teo rested his hand over the one sitting on his thigh, lacing their fingers together. "You're not the only who's excited," he said quietly. "Did I tell you this is the first date I've had since before I got married?" "You didn't mention it, no. This is my first since college. So I guess we're both equally rusty." "I don't have a problem relearning the ropes on this together if you don't." "Not at all. So where are we going, exactly?" Teo disengaged in order to grasp the wheel with both hands and turn onto the main road. "I thought we'd go to Abe's, unless you want something fancier than a steakhouse. Then we can do whatever you want." "I love Abe's. I don't need anything fancier than a steakhouse. Hell, I'd go back to the diner with you, if that's what you wanted." "I'll save that for the second date." He shot Ryan a quick smile. "When I've already got you hooked." "I think that sounds like a good plan for a second date. But I think I'm already a little hooked." The warmth spreading through Teo tied his tongue. He chose instead to reach over and tangle their fingers yet again. He didn't let go again until he'd pulled into the restaurant's parking lot, but even then, he lifted Ryan's hand to his mouth 145

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and brushed a quick kiss across the palm before he could release it. "Let's eat." **** Ryan knew he couldn't let things move too quickly. But by the end of dinner, he had to admit to himself that he was utterly infatuated with Teo Mendez. Ryan couldn't look away from him all night. He barely noticed his meal. He didn't pay any attention to their waiter. He didn't even think about the dinners he had with John at the restaurant. He was too busy staring at his date. Their conversation flowed as easily as it ever did on their rides. Ryan expected Teo to behave as though he felt out of place, but his smile was easy. His laugh was easy. And natural. It was perfectly natural for them to enjoy dinner and talk about Tony, and the ranch, and even a bit of their past. Ryan opened up more than Teo did, happy to talk about his years in Denver, but the morsels he learned about the private Mr. Mendez more than compensated for that. By the time they finished eating, the combination of Ryan's infatuation and lust made him itch. Judging from the looks Teo kept giving him, he wasn't the only one getting a little impatient. All Ryan could think about was spending all night in Teo's bed. The one night they had spent there had been great, but not enough. Ryan told himself he was just excited to have so much uninterrupted time with Teo, but he thought the truth might be something else; something a little different. Something he knew he shouldn't even think about. 146

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Ryan stayed on his side of the seat as they drove back to the ranch. He was scared if he sat any closer, he'd end up on Teo's lap. Or unzipping Teo's pants as he drove. Since he wasn't a horny teenager on his first date, he thought he should have a bit more self-control than that. Teo slowed considerably as he turned onto the dirt track that led to the house. Ryan didn't think anything of it until Teo made a sudden right turn, guiding the truck onto a little used access road. Ryan frowned. "Where are you going?" The night shadowed Teo's face even more than normal, though Ryan thought he saw a flicker of something. "You in a hurry to get back?" Ryan thought about Teo's bed, but then decided the most important thing about Teo's bed was the man who occupied it. "No. Not at all. Just curious." The truck bounced over the shallow ruts for half a mile before Teo pulled off to the side of the road. Killing the engine, he leaned in and fiddled with the radio, sweeping through the channels before finally settling on a country station. "It's a beautiful night." Teo tilted his head to look through the windshield. "I thought it would be nice to enjoy it." "Well, then, we should enjoy it properly." Ryan pushed the door open and took a deep breath. There was an irrigation canal not too far from where they parked, and in the still night, he could hear it bubbling and whispering through the field. The half-moon had just crested the trees, but most of 147

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the light came from the stars. He climbed out and added, "Come on." The other door slammed. He didn't hear Teo come around, but he felt him, especially when he leaned against the side of the truck and reached for him. A strong hand curved around Ryan's hip, guiding him back between Teo's legs. "You're right," Teo murmured, sliding his arm around Ryan's waist. "This is better." Ryan immediately thought about how it felt when Teo pressed against his back in the barn, but this was different. He relaxed against Teo's solid chest, letting the other man support most of his weight. "You know, I've had a really good time tonight." "Me, too." Warm breath fanned across Ryan's ear. He thought he might even feel Teo's lips. "You make me remember how good life can be." Ryan's tongue felt dry and thick. Teo's words had echoed his unspoken sentiments. No, Teo had done more than that. He had managed to perfectly sum up exactly what Ryan had been feeling in a simple sentence. "Me, too. I thought ... I thought I was losing something with John, but I think it's been missing for awhile." Teo's soft sigh tickled down the back of his neck. "I'd say I'm sorry, but then you never would've come back to the ranch." He began drawing lazy patterns along Ryan's stomach, each touch a glancing caress. "Though when you walked out of the kitchen last night, I thought you were walking away from me for good." 148

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"No, Teo. No..." Ryan tried to turn around, but Teo refused to let him move, so he relaxed once again. "I know you said that you don't blame me. But when I have a student—a child—in my charge, the child is my responsibility. That's second nature to me. And I just ... it would kill me to be responsible for ... a worse outcome." "More proof what a good man you are." This time, he was sure it was Teo's mouth, soft and fleeting along the side of his neck. "My head just fucks with me sometimes. It wouldn't let go of the notion that maybe you just wanted to hang around for the sex." "If that were the case, and it's not, but if it were, why would you think I wanted to leave for good?" "Because things got tough with Antonio there for a bit. You wouldn't be the first person I've known to bail when things got a little bumpy." "It doesn't scare me when things get bumpy. And things get tough with kids. Do you think if that bothered me, I could teach high school for three years?" "I wasn't thinking about that. I couldn't get past how I had to chase after you to get you to stay." For a moment, Teo's arms tightened. "Clay said I should tell you this, and I expect he's right. But you're the best thing that's happened to me and Antonio in a long time, Ryan." Ryan couldn't find the words to respond. It felt like everything he had wanted—everything he had practically begged John to consider—was now in his grasp. If Teo was offering. And it sure sounded like he was doing just that. 149

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"I thought maybe you just wanted me to hang around for the sex," Ryan admitted. A broad hand slipped downward, skimming over Ryan's hip to trace the edge of his semi-hard cock. "Nah, that's just a great bonus," Teo teased. "But it is amazing. Sometimes, I think I just need to tie you to my bed for a month in order to get my fill of you." Ryan closed his eyes as sparks shot up his spine. It was amazing. Ryan thought it was fair to say that it was the most amazing sex in his life. "God, I could actually let you tie me up to get your fill." Teo stilled. When he spoke, his voice was black velvet, rich with sinful promise. "You ever do anything like that before?" "Once or twice. I didn't stay tied up to the bed for a month, obviously, but..." Ryan swallowed at the thought of being at Teo's mercy. Desire wrapped around him. "It was fun." Teo's hand began moving again, this time more boldly along Ryan's shaft. "If you let me do that to you, it wouldn't just be fun. We'd have to find someplace private enough, people wouldn't hear your screams." Ryan bent his knees a little, pushing into Teo's thickening cock. "How private? And do we necessarily need a bed? There's that barn Clay doesn't use in the summer ... the one in the east field." He cried out when Teo sank his teeth into the sinew of his shoulder, arching away for a fraction of a second before Teo yanked him back. 150

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"Now you're just fucking with me," Teo rasped. "Because the thought of you trapped while I'm splitting your ass is almost enough to make me take you out there right now." Ryan moaned. He was close to begging Teo to do just that, but in order to go down to the barn, Teo would have to let him go. And Ryan didn't want Teo to release him. "Maybe on the second date?" "We'll save the diner for the third date then." Teo licked over the tender spot he'd bitten, letting his fingers drift lower to caress Ryan's covered balls. "Next time, it'll just be you, me, rope, and some lube. I'll fuck you so good, you'll forget all about that time in the tack room." Ryan couldn't even think about the tack room. He couldn't think about anything except the pressure from Teo's long fingers. He wanted to push his jeans out of the way and let Teo squeeze his balls in his large hand. He ground against Teo again, his body clenching as Teo's erection pressed against his ass. "I'm going to hold you to that." "Hold me to anything you want." Stretching his hand so that his fingertips still stroked Ryan's balls, Teo stuck his thumb beneath the waistband of Ryan's jeans to scrape the nail across the tip of his cock. His underwear, wet with precome, dulled the contact, but only for the seconds it took Teo to get those out of his way, too. "You know I'd do anything for you, right?" Teo's soft words seemed to slice through him. "I do now." His voice sounded weaker each time he spoke, but he knew 151

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that was because Teo was stealing the air from his chest. "That's good. Because I need you to fuck me." Teo's response was a heavy exhalation, breath that rippled inside his collar to make him feel naked already. His thumb disappeared from Ryan's cock, and it was on Ryan's tongue to protest when Teo flipped the button free and dragged the zipper down. "I was hoping we'd do that out here," Teo confessed. "I've got lube in the glove compartment. If I let you go to get it, you promise to come back just like this?" "Yes," Ryan said quickly. He knew at that point, he'd agree to anything Teo asked. If Teo wanted to tie him up right then, he'd hunt down the rope himself. As soon as he agreed, Teo released him, and Ryan turned back to the truck. It was easy to see the bottle of lube in the glove box, and it gave him a little thrill to imagine Teo tossing it into the truck. He pressed the bottle into Teo's palm, but before he let go of the lube, he held the back of Teo's neck and pressed their mouths together. Teo opened immediately, his tongue dipping forward to coax Ryan to play. His free arm coiled around Ryan's back and hitched him upward, but the heavy weight of his erection wasn't what made Ryan's head spin. It was the slow, tender way Teo kissed him; like they had all the time in the world. Like there was nothing else he'd rather do in that moment than savor Ryan's mouth; like he could hold him against his broad chest for an eternity, allowing Ryan to feel the quickening thuds of his heart matching his own. 152

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Ryan's entire body throbbed by the time Teo lifted his head. As much as he tried, he couldn't think of a time anybody kissed him like that. He thought somebody must have kissed him that way at least once before, but he couldn't think of anything—or anybody—except Teo. Instead of moving in for a second kiss, Ryan took a step back and tugged at Teo's belt. He fumbled with the button and the zipper, finally exposing Teo's thick cock. "I didn't want to hurt you this time." Flipping the lid on the lube, Teo squirted some out before setting it out of the way on the hood. With his inscrutable eyes never leaving Ryan, he began to coat his length, his hand moving slowly, surely, up and down the shaft. "I didn't want you to have anything bad associated with tonight." Ryan wanted to say that Teo never hurt him, but he had to admit, the whole process was much easier when they had lubricant. And he appreciated Teo's forethought, the care Teo always took. Ryan imagined Teo always behaved carefully and moved so deliberately because he was sensitive about his size. "Thank you." It seemed much weaker than what Ryan really meant, but he was afraid if he didn't stop himself there, he'd say too much. With a final glance at Teo's thick shaft, Ryan turned and pushed his pants and underwear down to his ankles. One strong hand wrapped around his hip, tugging him back against Teo's large frame. He was ready for more, ready for as much as Teo wanted to give, especially when he felt the slick length nestling between his cheeks. Teo didn't do 153

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anything to change their position, though, opting instead to return to the way he had originally been holding Ryan. "I'd like to do it like this," he murmured in Ryan's ear. The fingers he'd slicked up to use on himself now dipped down, below the curve of Ryan's ass, to tickle along the crease until he found the tight ring of muscle. "Holding you. Looking out over the ranch. I can't think of anything better." Ryan nodded his agreement as Teo pushed two fingers into his ass. His muscles clenched at the initial intrusion, but as Teo began pumping his wrist, Ryan relaxed. He sighed softly, moving with each thrust of Teo's fingers. They were far enough way from the house he only saw the porch light. Everything else was dark and still, the only sound his rising breath as Teo added a third finger. "There isn't anything better," Ryan finally said. "I've never felt anything better than you." Teo brushed his mouth across Ryan's nape. "I don't know if that makes me glad I'm the one who can give it to you, or mad you've never had it before." "Be glad. Others have tried but ... they just weren't you." Twisting his wrist, Teo stroked in and out of his passage. More than once, a rough callus would slide over Ryan's prostate, but the contact only served to make him gasp, never enough to do more than tease. "I'm not anything special, Ryan. I just recognize quality when I see it." Teo was wrong. He was something special. He was completely unlike anybody Ryan had ever met, or dated. But when he opened his mouth to say as much, Teo applied more 154

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pressure against his prostate, hitting the spot solidly. Ryan's cock jerked, and everything from his thighs to his stomach tightened. "God ... Teo ... I'm ready for you..." "Good," Teo growled. Pulling his fingers out, he gripped his cock, dragging it down until the blunt tip settled at Ryan's hole. He hoisted Ryan up slightly, leaning more heavily against the truck, and pushed forward in slow, excruciating inches. "What you do to me..." The rest was lost. Teo's mouth clamped over the side of Ryan's neck and sucked, the force a delicious counterpoint to the careful thrust of his hips. Ryan pressed his lips shut, allowing only the softest of moans to escape as Teo thrust into him. The moans increased as Teo's mouth closed around his neck. He imagined the mark Teo was undoubtedly leaving—imagined everybody would see it, purple against his tan skin—and a chill went down his spine. The moans changed into a shout once Teo was inside him completely. Despite the lubricant, the burn was intense. He thought it would be enough to incinerate him from the inside out. When Teo wrapped his fingers around Ryan's cock, Ryan shuddered. His head fell back against Teo's shoulder, and he squeezed his eyes closed, unable to focus with the overwhelming sensations roaring through him. The dance of Teo's tongue over the skin he sucked at sent ripple after ripple down his spine. He wanted to beg Teo to start moving, to do anything but keep them in this holding pattern, but even that failed him. 155

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Teo only started to stroke out of his ass when he let go of his neck. "Don't look away," he said softly. "I want you to see what I see." Ryan opened his eyes, but he didn't lift his head. The stars sparkled and blinked above him, the sky spinning around them. The breeze coming off the nearby water felt cold against his flushed skin, but Teo felt solid and hot against his back. He held his breath as Teo pulled back, exhaling in a rush once he pushed into Ryan's body again. Teo moved in shallow strokes, and Ryan could feel his muscles moving beneath his skin, flexing and tightening each time Teo filled his ass. The rhythm didn't falter, didn't change, always slow and steady and sure, so much like Teo and everything he had offered Ryan since they'd met. When Teo traced the shell of his ear with his tongue, Ryan gasped, goosebumps erupting everywhere the cool night air met his bare skin. Teo smoothed those away, finally stroking Ryan's cock in time with their fucking. "I want to taste you some time tonight," Teo said. "Maybe in bed. Maybe when you're asleep, and you think I'm asleep. I'll roll over and suck you off. Would you like that?" "Yes." Ryan clenched around Teo's shaft at the thought of Teo's tongue lapping over his sensitive head. "God, yes. I want to taste you, too. Every time I see you. I just want to get on my knees." "I don't..." Teo sighed, his grip tightening around Ryan's shaft. Several beats passed where it felt like Ryan would 156

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burst through his skin, and then Teo kissed his neck again, quickening his strokes. "I can't remember wanting someone like I want you." Ryan's breath caught in his throat. He believed Teo, without doubt or question. That was probably the best thing about his time with Teo; he knew Teo only spoke when he meant his words. But if Teo was being honest, he was including the man he'd left his family for, and his wife, the mother of his child. Something warm flooded his chest, and he couldn't remember the last time he felt like this. "Teo ... I ... me, too." Nothing more seemed necessary. Teo attacked Ryan's neck with renewed vigor, no longer minding the temperate rhythm they'd established. He pulled at Ryan's cock, swiping his palm across the dripping tip on each pass, and pounded into his ass, as if each snap of his body wound them together even more tightly. His breathing grew labored, coarse and hot where it streamed over Ryan's skin. When he did speak again, the words were more harsh sounds than actual syllables. "Close," he rasped. "So close." Ryan wondered if this would be enough to break him, to literally break his body in half. Teo seemed like he wanted to try. The pressure built at the base of his spine, and he brought his hand up to his mouth, biting into the flesh at the base of his thumb as his orgasm overtook him. When he squeezed his eyes shut, the stars that had been overhead erupted behind his eyelids in shades of red. 157

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He barely heard Teo's grunt, but he certainly felt the rough drives of his cock, searing past muscle already quivering and clenching. The grip on his shaft tightened to near painful levels, fingertips digging into his balls as Teo used his strength to force him back onto his length one last time. Heat spread through his ass as Teo came, coating his inner walls with shot after shot after shot. The shout of Teo's pleasure was what finally did him in, though, leaving him boneless where he sagged within the other man's greater strength. The hold on his groin eased, then disappeared as Teo buried his face in Ryan's neck. Words too muffled to make out etched into his skin, and he curved a limp arm up and back in order to stroke the damp skin of Teo's nape. They remained locked together like that for several long minutes. Ryan wasn't in any hurry to break the contact. But the longer he stood with Teo's mouth against his skin and his arm around his waist, the more certain he became that this wasn't an infatuation like he thought. It wasn't a crush like Paige said. It wasn't a rebound thing like Teo feared. It was love. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twelve Though it was one of the hardest things he'd done in a while, Teo peeled himself away from Ryan's sleeping form and stepped noiselessly out of the bedroom. Between his bladder and his body clock, he'd never stood a chance making it past four, but just because he couldn't sleep any longer didn't mean he had to take that precious rest away from Ryan. They had been at it most of the night. There was no reason to wake Ryan until it was time to go up to the main house to get Antonio. The date had gone even better than he'd dreamed. Teo felt a little silly remembering how nervous he had been. Ryan had been his usual easygoing self, their conversation hadn't been stilted, and the mood after dinner had been ... fulfilling. He smiled as he washed his hands. Hope took funny shapes sometimes. Who knew his came in the form of a lean math teacher with an ass he could feast on for hours? There was a future there. Teo was sure of it. He'd confessed how he felt to Ryan, and Ryan had said the same. They could take that and build something real. He wouldn't have to worry about being ousted from another family, and as long as he could show Antonio that there was nothing abnormal in his and Ryan's relationship, all would be well. He just had no idea how he was going to go about that. Absently, he turned the water on in the shower, listening to the spray hit the tile as the bathroom filled with steam. Ryan loved Antonio. He wanted a family. If they took their 159

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time and were careful about how they moved forward, Teo thought it was possible to have everything both of them wanted. It wasn't until he was pulling the curtain shut behind him that he chided himself for jumping the gun. One date. That's all they'd had. Yes, they'd planned the second, third and somewhere around midnight, Ryan had started discussing an afternoon excursion after church some Sunday. But dating was different than commitment. As much as he might want to, Teo couldn't completely dismiss the possibility that this could still be a rebound relationship for Ryan. He would be there for him, for as long as Ryan wanted, and he would do everything he could to make sure it lasted, but in the end, it would be Ryan's decision. That was a little sobering. Teo was rinsing the soap from his chest and thighs when Ryan pulled the curtain open. "Is there room in here for me?" His gaze swept hungrily over Ryan's naked body. There was a livid mark on his neck that would be impossible to hide, though the fingerprints on his hips would thankfully be shielded from curious eyes. He was a little surprised when his cock twitched in response, prompting Teo to wonder if he'd ever be sated. "Always." He stepped further under the spray, turning sideways so he wouldn't shortchange Ryan from the water. "Except shouldn't you still be in bed? It's early." "True. But you're in here." Ryan stepped into the tub and closed the curtain behind him. He wrapped his arm around 160

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Teo, pressing their chests together. "And I don't want to waste any time we've got together." Teo smoothed his hands up and down Ryan's back. "If we're together, it's not a waste," he said, then bent his head to kiss him softly. Ryan cupped his face and kissed him like they hadn't spent most of the night together. For a moment, Teo let himself imagine that they woke up like this every morning, kissing slowly as the water washed the sleep from their eyes. "I was dreaming about you," Ryan said against his mouth. His hand moved from Teo's face and down his chest. The tips of his fingers grazed over Teo's growing erection. "Then I turned over to show you what I was dreaming about and you weren't there." "I already stole enough of your sleep last night." His gaze dropped to the hickey on Ryan's neck. Beads of water dripped down the skin. Unable to resist, Teo slid his lips down to capture them with his tongue. "I thought I'd shower, and then surprise you with breakfast in bed." Ryan sighed and tilted his head. "Breakfast is good. But..." Now he wrapped his hand around Teo's shaft. "I'm hungry for something else right now." For all of Ryan's promises, he had never actually gotten around to the blowjob he'd wanted to grant the night before. Teo had always distracted him, though it was mostly out of sheer desire to explore the other man's body than it was anything else. His cock responded to the touch now, but even then, he didn't want to let Ryan go to give him the room to slither downward. 161

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"I'm beginning to think you just want me for my body," he teased. "It's a nice body," Ryan murmured, his lips skimming over Teo's shoulder. "I feel like I have to take advantage of you while I can. Unless, you're going to let me jump you whenever I feel like it." "Clay might have something to say about that." "Clay's always ruining my fun." Ryan's mouth was on his collarbone now, his fingers tight around Teo's shaft. "In which case, I better get my fill of you now." Teo pulled back, leaning against the tile as Ryan licked along the sharp bone. He was already nearly fully erect, and a quick glance down showed Ryan was the same. How many times had he come already? Three? Four? Yet, Teo knew he'd be up for another, even though it might take a little longer to reach a climax. He caressed Ryan's cheek as the other man licked a tight circle around one of Teo's nipples. Something told him Ryan probably wouldn't have a problem sucking him for as long as it took. "You're not going to want my world-famous breakfast after this," he scolded lightly. Ryan looked up through his lashes. His mouth was still busy, but his eyes were smiling. His tongue moved over Teo's nipple again and again until he moaned. "You'll just have to make sure I get another chance." Teo slid his hand around the back of Ryan's neck, cradling it in order to keep him from moving away. "Come back with me after our rides from now on." 162

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"I will." Ryan's hand moved up his chest, and his fingers circled Teo's other nipple until the skin was taut. "And anything else you want." He groaned when Ryan caught the tip between his teeth. "I want Antonio to get used to seeing you around when it's not time for his lessons," he managed. "It'll make it easier to talk to him later, I think." "Mmm. I think you're right." After one more hard suck on Teo's skin, he moved his mouth lower on Teo's chest. He traced the lines of Teo's muscles with his tongue, and his breath felt cool across his damp skin. Teo expected Ryan to continue moving down his body, but he looked up. "You're really going to talk to him about us?" "Yes." Water dripped into his eye, but he only blinked it away as he gazed down at Ryan. "Why wouldn't I?" Ryan smiled. "No reason. It's just ... I didn't want to assume." He ducked his head again, his lips immediately returning to Teo's body. He thought he could feel Ryan's smile against his skin, feel the pull of his lips as he kissed Teo's flat stomach. Ryan's mouth was surprisingly soft. Even when he scraped his teeth across Teo's skin, it was strangely soft. As Ryan sank to his knees, Teo shifted again, giving him room to get comfortable. He couldn't pull his hand away from where his fingers tangled in Ryan's wet hair, couldn't even look away as Ryan made love to his stomach. He had meant what he'd told him the night before, but what he hadn't said was he'd never had a lover as attentive as Ryan. Sometimes, he wasn't sure what he'd ever done to deserve such devotion. 163

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More often, he wondered how he could ensure he didn't lose it. Ryan's lips followed the trail of hair from his stomach to his groin. Teo tensed, waiting to feel the first brush of Ryan's mouth on his cock, but Ryan clearly wasn't finished exploring his body. He licked the ridge of his hip, then scraped his teeth across his inner thigh. His fingers were as busy as his mouth, caressing Teo's flesh, finding a thousand little sensitive spots. Teo wasn't sure if he really was that sensitive to the touch, or if it was just Ryan. "I'm going to swallow all of you," Ryan muttered, the words almost drowned completely beneath the rush of water. His tongue darted out, and he licked the beads of water from the tip of Teo's cock. Teo gasped. Hours of sex had only made him more responsive to every touch. He was fully hard now, and his balls ached. He was half-tempted to beg Ryan to start there. Then he decided he didn't need to ask. Tightening his hold on the back of Ryan's head, he pushed him further down, groaning when Ryan dragged the flat of his tongue along his shaft. "I'm never going to be able to take a shower in here again without thinking of this," he said. "What the hell are you doing to me?" When Ryan glanced up again, his eyes were shining. Drops of water clung to his skin and his eyelashes, and steam filled the small space, hot and heavy against Teo's skin. He barely noticed that, though. The steam wasn't nearly as warm as Ryan's mouth. Once he reached Teo's base, he caught Teo's sac with his lips and tongue. Teo tensed, his hold on Ryan's 164

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head tightening as he continued to tease him. With another glance, Ryan parted his lips and sucked his balls into his mouth. Teo thought his knees were going to give out beneath him. Leaning his head back, he squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the warm sweeps of Ryan's tongue over his sac, the pressure against the roof of Ryan's mouth enough to make Teo curse under his breath. It was better than he'd imagined, more than he'd wanted. Hell, that was a pretty good interpretation of everything Ryan had brought into his life. Better, more. He didn't realize he'd said the last out loud until he felt Ryan nip at the delicate skin. His arm tensed, pulling Ryan even closer into his groin, the other man's nose buried in the coarse hair at the base of his cock. Ryan pulled one of Teo's balls past his lips, sucking on it gently, and rolled it around his tongue. He wrapped his hand around Teo's shaft, stroking him slowly. Teo would have been happy to feel the hot pressure of his mouth and the friction from his smooth fingers all morning, but Ryan was more impatient than that. Teo opened his eyes as soon as Ryan released his sac and watched, entranced, as Ryan's lips closed around Teo's thick head. Feeling a lover's mouth on his prick always brought with it the urge to thrust. Teo had fallen prey to those instincts early, but Kirk had been quick to show him the error of his ways. There was nothing like losing desire for something by making it an unpleasant experience, and Teo knew that his size made it more difficult than normal. For all of Ryan's 165

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hunger, Teo didn't expect him to take him all the way in. That was all right. Just the hot suction of his mouth was enough. He changed his mind on that with the first few inches to disappear past Ryan's lips. New sparks shot through his thighs, and Teo widened his stance as he braced for Ryan's attention. Ryan slid his hand all the way to the base, holding him still as he moaned around Teo's cock. Teo's moans joined his. The heat was closer, more intense, than the sting of the shower, and his ass clenched with each swipe of Ryan's talented tongue. Ryan took his time, like he had all morning to do it properly and thoroughly. Teo's muscles tensed as he kept himself back, allowing Ryan to go at the speed he felt comfortable. It was easier for Teo to be patient when he realized what Ryan intended to do. More and more of his cock disappeared into Ryan's mouth, and he moved his head lower, sliding his lips down Teo's shaft. The fingers around Teo's base tightened, squeezing him almost harshly, but it kept him still. "Touch yourself." Though his breathing was growing increasingly ragged, Teo was able to keep his gaze steady as Ryan glanced up at him through his lashes. His nostrils flared at the sight of Ryan's lips stretched around his thick length, the way his cheeks hollowed from the force of his sucking. Teo skimmed wet fingertips over his jaw, creating new paths for the running water to take, and swallowed against the swell of emotion rising in his throat. "I want to watch you get off while you do this." 166

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Ryan moved his head slightly—it could have been a nod— and his free hand went between his thighs. He didn't begin stroking himself immediately. Instead, he cupped his balls and flexed his fingers. Teo's own balls ached at the sight, especially as Ryan began to pull on and massage his sac. Then everything froze. Ryan stopped moving. Teo didn't even notice the water flowing down his back. He didn't notice anything except the way Ryan's throat swallowed around his head, and the way his lips felt wrapped around the base of his shaft. The sound that came from him might have been a moan. It might have been a whimper. It might even have been a growl as Teo curled his fingers around the curvature of Ryan's nape. Whatever it was, it was lost to the roar in his ears, blood pounding to the surface of his skin in a desperate bid to escape. The fan of Ryan's breath against his groin made it even worse. He knew Ryan was turned on by what he was doing; his throat quivered and his breathing was erratic. The thought that Ryan might even shoot when he swallowed Teo's come was enough to break the spell that stifled his voice. "So amazing," he murmured. "Don't ... fuck, you get me all..." Each attempt he made to articulate how he was feeling failed. It left him grunting in frustration, wishing he was half as good at telling Ryan how he felt as the other man was. Ryan held him in his throat for long beats before he eased back. Teo pushed him forward again, and Ryan didn't resist. He moved with Teo's hand, swallowing his length once. The initial rhythm was disjointed, Teo unwilling to push for too 167

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much too quickly. But Ryan soon found a tempo he liked, and every time Teo thrust forward, Ryan met him, took him all in, worked his shaft with his tongue. Ryan's wrist moved in time with his mouth, and Teo couldn't hear his moans above the water, but he could feel each one, vibrating through his shaft. It didn't take long before it was all just too, too much. Ryan's bright eyes, the stretch of lips already swollen from a night's worth of kissing, the reverberations shooting into his cock from the tightness of Ryan's throat. Teo's balls pulled hard into his body, and his fingers dug into Ryan's scalp— painfully, he was sure. He groaned with each additional thrust. He shivered. By the time he felt Ryan scrape his teeth along his length as he swallowed him one last time, Teo was a single nerve ending, ready to explode. He came with a shout. Though the urge to squeeze his eyes shut to try and contain the fire rampaging through him, his gaze remained riveted on Ryan, watching his throat work, his hand fly. Ryan didn't let a single drop of come escape, devouring it all just as he'd sworn he would. If anything, he seemed hungry for more even when the wracking shudders finally began to ease. Ryan's eyes screwed shut, and he sat on his heels, his wrist flying faster and faster. He moaned loudly—the sound echoing off the tiles around Teo's head—and Teo watched as he shot all over his hand and the shower floor. Ryan leaned back, letting Teo's cock fall free, and gasped for breath. Water flowed over his face and into his mouth. "I feel like I'm going to drown," Ryan said, wiping his eyes and nose. 168

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Teo immediately turned to block the spray, bending over to haul Ryan to his feet. He held him close against his chest, and listened to the answering tempo of another heart pounding into his skin. "Next time, we don't do this in the shower," he teased. "Where should we do it next time?" Ryan smiled against his neck. "In bed? The barn? The back of the truck?" He dropped a kiss to Ryan's temple. "Next time, I'll be the one to surprise you." "It'll give me something to look forward to, then. In the meantime, I think you should wash my back before we run out of hot water." Teo obeyed without question, reaching for the sponge. "Who knew you got so bossy after sex?" He smiled as he turned Ryan around. "I'm going to have to remember that." He reached for Teo's hand and brushed his mouth across his knuckles. "I'm not bossy. I just don't enjoy a cold shower, no matter how invigorating it might be." Teo let it go to run the soapy sponge over Ryan's back. Before he stepped aside in order to wash away the suds, he leaned down and pressed his mouth to Ryan's ear. "Bossy. But I wouldn't have you any other way." **** Ryan knew he wore a big, goofy smile, but he couldn't help it. He tried to pull himself together before they went up to the house for Tony, but every time he looked at Teo, he started grinning again. He knew that a single look would be enough for Clay and Paige to understand how their night went. He 169

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thought it would be easier to look normal if Teo wasn't smiling a little bit, too. Paige had the kids sitting around the table, happily munching on cold cereal and toast. Leni waved at him with sticky fingers. "I have toast." "I'm hungry. I think I'm going to take it." Leni frowned. "It's my toast." "Then what am I going to eat?" "Mommy will make you toast." Tony looked up and carefully swallowed his mouthful of cereal. "Good morning, Dad. Good morning, Ryan." Teo surprised both of them by resting a big hand on top of Tony's head and ruffling his hair. "Stay out of trouble?" "Not only did he stay out of trouble, he helped me with Matty's bedtime." Paige rose from her chair to cross to the cupboard. Taking out two mugs, she poured them coffee, all the while glancing back and forth between them. "If you want some breakfast, it'll just take me a second to whip something up." Ryan bit back his enthusiastic I'm starving in favor of a small nod. "If you don't mind. But cereal is just fine." Teo straddled the chair next to Tony. "Two, please, Mrs. Putnam." While Paige went to work, Tony scooted over to make room for Ryan. "You can sit next to me, too," he offered. Leni banged her spoon. "Uncle Ryan sits next to me." Tony scowled at her. "Not when he's at my house." "This isn't your house." "Leni!" 170

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Paige's sharp tone quieted the argument, but Ryan caught the hint of Teo's smile before Paige brought over their coffee. Ryan was saved from his difficult decision by the ringing telephone. "I got it," he announced, before Paige could reach for the receiver. "Hello?" "Hello. I'm calling to speak to Ryan Putman." Ryan frowned, trying to place the voice, but he didn't recognize her. "Speaking." "Hi, Ryan. This is Claire McNeal at the Academy of Math and Engineering. Mindy Draper gave me your name and indicated you might be interested in a position." "Oh. Yes. I didn't expect you to call me." "We're looking for good people, and your name has come up more than once. Can we set up an interview?" Ryan glanced over to the table. Teo watched him, but the kids were too busy bickering among themselves to notice. "I'm sorry. Things are a bit hectic here this morning. Can I call you back about this later today?" "Absolutely. Let me give you my number." Ryan scrawled the number on the memo pad next to the phone, thanked her again, and hung up. Now both Teo and Paige were looking at him curiously. "Who was that?" she asked, bending over to pick up the Cheerios Matty had thrown over the side of the highchair. "Somebody from the Academy." Ryan sat down and glanced over to Teo again. "She wants me to call her back to set up an interview." Paige straightened with a brilliant smile on her face. "The Academy? But that's fantastic! They've got an excellent 171

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benefits package." She hesitated as the rest of what he'd said sank in. "Why do you have to call her back about it? You couldn't set it up right now?" "I'm not sure I even want to set up an interview," Ryan admitted. "And she took me by surprise." Her smile faded. "Why wouldn't you set up an interview? You love to teach." Ryan wasn't sure how to answer. He could simply explain that taking a full-time position in town would require him to live in town—while Teo was on the ranch. He and Teo hadn't made any real commitment to each other, but at that point, Ryan thought things were too fragile to risk. "I know I do. But I love being on the ranch, too." "I think you should do it." Teo's quiet words came without a smile, but his dark eyes were steady when they met Ryan's. "Better to have options than not." Tony frowned. "I don't want Ryan to teach in town. I want him to keep teaching me." "This isn't your decision, Antonio. It's Ryan's." "It is good to have options," Ryan agreed slowly, looking for any clues of what Teo might be thinking. But neither his face nor his eyes betrayed his thoughts. "I guess I could call her back now." "You're already making her wait," Paige said. "Eat your breakfast first. They're not going to give away the job in the time it takes to eat some Cheerios." "Yes, ma'am." It wouldn't do any good to argue with her. She was right. The job wasn't going anywhere, and Teo 172

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probably wouldn't change his mind, either. "So, Teo, do you think it's time for Tony to learn how to shovel horse manure?" Tony wrinkled his nose, and Leni laughed, but it was the twinkle that appeared in Teo's eye that really made Ryan smile. "I think it's more than time," he said. Their eyes locked. He didn't say anything more, but Ryan realized he really didn't have to. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirteen Ryan left the small school building with a solid sense of his success. He had nailed his interview. He had been intelligent and charming, and Claire McNeal seemed to like him a lot. She also hadn't hinted at the fact that he was gay. Ryan wouldn't hide his sexuality for a job, but it was always easier for him when it never came up at all. But the job interview wasn't the most difficult part of his day. He knew it would be best to talk to John face to face. It would also be damned near impossible and extremely uncomfortable. But he was willing to try for Teo's sake. John knew how to find people. He had always been able to find people. And if, by some crazy chance, he couldn't find his prey, then he knew people who were even better at hunting down individuals who didn't want to be found. More than anything, Ryan wanted to make Teo and Tony happy. Teo missed his family, and if there was anything Ryan could do to re-establish that connection, he would do it. Even if that meant stopping at John's office, unannounced. He had been to the law offices several times in the past, so nobody stopped him as he moved through the third floor. John's office was in the corner, and his door was open. His heart sped up a little when he spotted him from the hallway. He didn't want to ask John for anything. He never even wanted to speak to John again. It would be easier if he knew what to expect, but at that moment, his ex-lover was an utter 174

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mystery to him. Would John be willing to help? Would he kick him out? Would he expect something in return for his time? Ryan stopped at the doorway, and John looked up, his face an unreadable mask. He took a deep breath and tried to offer a friendly smile. "Got a few minutes?" Light blue eyes regarded him steadily for several seconds. It was long enough to make Ryan feel like turning on his heel and bolting for the elevator, but just when he'd decided to do so, John gestured for him to come in. "You must have been reading my mind." Rising from his chair, John came around the desk to lean against the front edge. "I've been meaning to call you for a couple days." "This isn't a social call." Ryan stayed near the door, hoping the distance between them would emphasize that point. He thought he had a good idea of why John had been thinking about calling him. "I actually need your help with something." "Oh? What?" "A friend of mine is looking for his two sisters. He hasn't seen them in quite a few years, and he doesn't know how to get in contact with them." "A friend." John weighed the words, his gaze unwavering. "Anybody I know?" Ryan shrugged. "You met him before. Teo Mendez." The name took several seconds to register. "Oh, that guy you were with? The one who looked like he could benchpress that old truck of yours?" "Yes, that's him." John looked more bored than anything, so Ryan added, "He's got a son, and he would like him to at least know his family. I told him I'd see if I could help." 175

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"Why doesn't he come to see me himself?" "He's busy during the day," Ryan said smoothly. It wouldn't do any good for John to suspect the truth. "Cody and Jan just had a baby, so Clay's got him working from sunup to sundown." "It's not like I'm a private detective, Ry." Shaking his head, John stood and returned to his chair behind the desk. "Tell your friend to get online and try Googling them if he can't afford one. I've got too many cases to be able to help right now." "John, I know you aren't a private detective. But come on. You try Googling Duena Mendez. You'd get tens of thousands of hits." Ryan approached the desk now, unmindful of the fact that it was best to keep his distance. "And I know you well enough to know that it won't take you that long to help." John leaned back, his gaze growing contemplative. "What's in it for me if I do?" "What do you want?" "You sitting down would be a nice start. Maybe asking how I've been?" A ghost of a smile curved his thin mouth. "Or we could talk about you. Claire told me she finally got you set up with an interview." Ryan hadn't wanted to move into anything remotely resembling a personal discussion, but he conceded to his request and sat down. "Yes, she did. We met this morning. I think things went well, but I won't hear back from her until next week. How's your bid for partner going?"

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John made a moue of disgust. "Bonnie Chapman got a huge settlement on that wrongful death case. Remember? We teased her about chasing ambulances for weeks." Ryan nodded. "I remember her. I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm sure it's just a temporary setback." "Maybe." He paused. "My luck has been for shit lately. Ever since you left, actually." "Ever since you told me to leave," Ryan corrected. John didn't bat an eyelash. "The end result is still the same." Reaching for an unseen drawer, he pulled it open to take out a CD case. "I found this under the bed when I was cleaning the other day," he said, sliding it across the desk. "I'd completely forgotten we'd knocked it under there that night you got drunk at Darren's barbecue and jumped me the second we got home." Ryan swallowed and accepted the CD. It was an album they had bought together while they were still in college. There were plenty of very vivid, very sexual memories attached to the CD, not just the one John brought to mind. "That's not going to happen again, John." "Did I ask you for it?" The look on his face was pure innocence. "I found it, and I knew how much you always loved it. I just wanted you to have it again, Ry." He gave him a crooked smile. "Of course, I imagined giving it back to you over dinner, but I guess this'll do in a pinch." Ryan slid the CD back across the desk. "You can keep it. I don't imagine I'll have much of a chance to listen to it now." John's smile faded. "It's just music." 177

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Ryan knew he should have kept the CD and just thrown it out when he got home. John clearly wasn't going to be happy with Ryan trying to keep his distance. "It's not just music. It's one of the first albums we bought together." Ryan glanced at his watch. "What about lunch?" "I can't. I have a client. But I'm free for dinner tonight." John ran his fingertips along the edge of the CD case. "That'll give you time to put together all the details you have on your friend's sisters, then." Ryan had hoped he would agree to lunch because Teo expected to see him that night. But John sounded like he was willing to help now, and Ryan couldn't ignore that. "Okay. Where do you want to meet?" "The Sweet Onion? It's the beginning of the month. They always have the freshest seafood then." Ryan nodded. "I don't want to be out too late tonight. Would six work for you?" "Perfect. You'll pick me up?" "Yeah." Ryan stood. "Thanks for your help. I appreciate it." John rose as well and followed him to the doorway. "I'm glad you stopped by. I've missed you." Ryan couldn't honestly return the sentiment, but he nodded anyway as he stepped out of the office. "I've missed you, too. I'll see you at six." He didn't undermine his declaration by fleeing to the elevator, but he didn't look back as he walked away. ****

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The Sweet Onion was the one restaurant in town they could both agree on completely. Ryan didn't even mind the steep prices because the food was so delicious. They had shared many meals there and many drinks, which usually led to Ryan jumping John as soon as they got home. A few times, John had jumped him, pinning him to the nearest flat surface with a hand between Ryan's shoulder blades. Ryan had a feeling John was reliving those memories as they sat across from each other. The table was so small, Ryan's knee almost touched John's. Perfect for an intimate conversation. But Ryan wasn't interested in an intimate conversation. He wanted to talk about finding Teo's sisters. He passed John three stapled pages that contained all the information he had on Duena and Coraly Mendez. "I think that's enough for a start." John only gave them a cursory glance before slipping the sheaf into his briefcase tucked in the space behind his chair. "I'll look at them in the morning and get an idea how long it'll take me to find them. Are you going to be around tomorrow afternoon so I can call and let you know?" "I'll have my cell on me. I've been helping Clay out around the ranch, so I can't say where I'll be." John looked him over with an appreciative eye. "Whatever it is he has you doing out there, it looks good on you. I don't think I've seen you this in shape since we gave up on the gym membership." "Trust me, you don't need a gym membership when you're up at the Good Fortune," Ryan said lightly, trying to ignore 179

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the way the compliment warmed him. "Clay will make sure you can get all the sun and exercise you can stand." "By the time the school year starts, you're going to have all the kids drooling over their sexy new math teacher." He opened up the menu to start scanning over the appetizers. "I know I would be." Ryan ducked behind his own menu, though John's reference to kids reminded him that he still wasn't entirely enthusiastic about getting the job that meant leaving Teo, at least during the week. It also reminded him of Tony. And the reason he was there to begin with. "Need I remind you that I don't have the job yet?" "Technicality. They loved you. I know they did." "Even so, I never said that I loved them. I don't know if I'd accept the job if it's offered." John glanced at him over the top of his menu, "Why not? Teaching is what you do." "I like ranching, too." Ryan wished he could tell John about Teo. That would make a hell of a lot more sense than his sudden love for hard manual labor. "Clay can't devote every waking minute of his life to the ranch anymore, now that he has the kids." "Clay has hired hands who do that for him. I'll bet he doesn't even pay you." "No, but I own part of the ranch. If he does well, it benefits me. Besides, I don't want to move again." "It's not like you'd have to do it alone. I'd help." He turned back to perusing the menu. "Hell, get that Neanderthal to help. That's how he can pay us back for finding his sisters." 180

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Ryan was grateful the menu hid his face, and he clenched his hands into fists. He wanted to demand an apology. He wanted to rush to Teo's defense. But he knew if he did either, he'd tip his hand, and then John wouldn't help out of pure spite. "Teo doesn't need to pay me back," Ryan said, as evenly as he could. "He's my friend, and I offered to help." He got a few more moments of respite when the portly waiter appeared at the side of the table, an obsequious smile on his pocked face. He barely heard John order a bottle of wine that they had both always enjoyed, and he was barely aware of the appetizers he selected for the both of them. It wasn't until the waiter turned to take his entrée order that he spoke at all. He just wished he hadn't taken the menus with him when he left. Now he had nothing else to hide behind. "So how are Clay and Paige doing? I haven't seen them since she went home from the hospital with the new baby." Ryan stopped himself from frowning at the reminder. John was always too busy to go to the ranch. He never had the time, or the interest, to even visit the children. "They're doing really good. Still acting like they're newlyweds. And the babies are fat and happy. Leni is already a bit of a hellraiser. Clay is going to have his hands full." "And you? Tell me honestly, Ry." He leaned forward, arms folded in front of him on the table so that his elbow brushed against Ryan. "Is it really enough being out there, all cut off from the world?" 181

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"It's been a nice vacation from the world. But I have missed a few things." Ryan leaned forward as well, pointedly not pulling away from John's elbow. "I miss eating here." John's smile was soft. It always made him look younger. "You don't have to. If you wanted, we could come back on Saturday." Ryan returned his smile. "Maybe not Saturday, but when you find those girls, I'll treat you to dinner." "You have such confidence in me. You always did. I just wish I'd been as good to you." Reaching across, he rested his hand lightly on Ryan's arm. "I know I haven't told you, but I really need to. I am so sorry about the things I said to you when we broke up. You didn't deserve them." Ryan tried to imagine Teo ever offering an apology like that. He couldn't. Teo would never be in a similar position. At the very most, Ryan could imagine his new lover being thoughtless, but never malicious. "I appreciate your apology, John. I do want to put that behind us, so we can at least be friends again. I mean, we've shared a lot." "We have. All my best memories have you in them." Ryan finally pulled away and sat back. He thought he could string John along as far as he needed to make sure John wouldn't take back his implicit promise to look for Teo's sisters. But he didn't want to lead John on too far. And he didn't want John to ignore the part where they could only be friends. "Well, a lot of my best memories involve you, too. So ... have you been on any dates since we split up?" 182

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John rolled his eyes. "One. It was a disaster. All he could talk about was his damn dog." Ryan laughed. "He never caught on that you weren't exactly a dog person, huh?" "That would have required him to stop talking about Daytona the Dachshund for two seconds." He shuddered. "No thank you." Ryan thought about his single date since the break-up. He had hung on every word Teo had said, and in turn, Teo had been interested in everything he said. The waiter arrived with their appetizers, but Ryan couldn't muster the energy to eat any. He wasn't hungry. He missed Teo. He'd be sitting down to eat with Tony now. Would Teo be willing to see him that night if he knocked on his door? Probably. Ryan didn't think he'd be able to wait until the next morning. "Maybe your luck will improve. And there's always the Internet, right?" "Maybe." He toyed with the stem of his wine glass. "Maybe I just need to make my own luck." Ryan ignored the weight of John's words, deciding to play stupid. It was amazing to him that if John had invited him to dinner just two weeks ago, he probably would have succumbed to the other man's charm. It would be easy to justify their break as a mere bump in a long-term relationship. But now he had something else. Something more than John had ever offered. And no amount of charm from his ex-boyfriend could make him forget that. [Back to Table of Contents] 183

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Chapter Fourteen There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Star-pricked velvet stretched above, melting into the only slightly darker line of the horizon, while a gentle breeze made the grass rustle just enough to remind Teo that the world was a living, breathing thing beneath him. He inhaled. It smelled alive, too. How anyone could choose to live in a city where mankind blocked all this out was beyond him. Ryan sat next to him on the front step, leaning back on his hands. He had been unnaturally quiet the past week, more so since the day of his interview. Teo had considered broaching the subject more than once, but every time the opportunity came up, he decided against it. If something was wrong, Ryan would tell him. He had to trust that. In the interim, he'd simply be there, ready for whenever Ryan opted to include Teo in his wayward thoughts. "Antonio and I have to go into town some time in the next couple days," Teo said. "Pick up a few things. Did you wanna come with us?" "Sure. Maybe we can make a day of it." Ryan grinned. "Unless the thought of spending that much time in town makes you want to crawl out of your skin." "Can't say it's my favorite way to spend a day off. But it's gotta be done. That boy's growing out of boots faster than I can replace them." "His pants are getting awfully short, too. And it probably wouldn't kill him to get a haircut. He's growing like a weed." 184

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"Maybe I'll shave his head. He can go longer without a haircut then." Ryan chuckled. "Well, that would definitely get him through the summer." He leaned over far enough to brush against Teo's arm. "Are you going to shave your head, too?" Teo frowned and automatically ran his hand over his scalp. "It's not that bad, is it?" It felt longer than usual, but not that long. He usually noticed the difference when his hat was on. Ryan reached over and followed the path Teo's hand took with his own fingers. "It's getting there." He rested his hand on the back of Teo's neck. "I like it though. Even if you are getting a big shaggy." "Sometimes, I think you'd like it if I was a long-haired hippy in Birkenstocks," Teo teased. He didn't push Ryan's hand away, however. It felt too nice resting on his nape. "So haircuts all around. Great. Our day just got longer." "I don't know which is funnier," Ryan said, his voice tinged with laugher. "The image of you in Birkenstocks, or the pain in your voice at the thought of spending more time in town." He leaned in to kiss the corner of Teo's jaw, just below his ear. His lashes fluttered shut, so he could relish the soft feel of Ryan's mouth. "Well, at least I can make you laugh. That's good to know." "You make me feel other things, too. Things that are less appropriate for the front porch." He began moving his fingers in a slow circle, massaging the stiffness out of Teo's muscles. The only thing that could distract him from the magic of his 185

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fingers was the soft kisses Ryan trailed on his neck. "You feel tense." "I am," he conceded. His hand rested on Ryan's thigh, tilting his head in the other man's direction. "Are you going to do anything about that?" "I could give you my not-so-world-famous massage. Or..." Ryan's other hand slid between Teo's thighs, his thumb just brushing against the line of his cock. "I could put you to bed. Make sure you're nicely tucked in and worn out." Teo sighed at the image he presented. "God, I love that idea." Except Antonio was inside. Fast asleep, yes, but still inside. "Tell me what else you'd do." Ryan's voice was soft, just a whisper, but he moved closer and closer as he spoke, molding his body against Teo's side. He never took his fingers from Teo's neck. "I'd make you stretch out on the bed, on your stomach. I'd rub down your whole back and follow my hands with my mouth. You know, I do intend to taste every single inch of you sooner or later, and that includes your ass." Each word prickled through his skin, going straight to his cock. He was almost completely hard by the time Ryan finished, and he squirmed in order to relieve the strain against his zipper. "We need to arrange another date night with Clay and Mrs. Putnam." His voice had gone hoarse. "It feels like that's the only time I ever really relax anymore." "I'll talk to Paige tomorrow morning," Ryan promised, his thumb moving over Teo's cock again and again, with just 186

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enough pressure for Teo to feel it. "Maybe we can drop Tony off after we get back from town." Teo brushed his mouth over Ryan's temple. "I know we said the barn should be our second date, but mind if we hold off on that? I'd rather spend the night wrapped around you in bed. I've missed that." "I think I could accept that for a second date. But only because I've missed that, too." "It'd be nice to..." "Dad?" Teo jerked away from Ryan, his head whipping around to see Antonio standing on the inside of the screen door. Ryan pulled away as well, but Teo could see the confusion already blooming in his son's face, even hidden as it was behind the mesh. "What are you doing up?" Antonio cringed at Teo's abrupt tone. "I couldn't sleep." "You know what I think of eavesdropping." "I know, but..." Teo jabbed a finger at the house. "Get back to bed. Now." Antonio turned on his heel and ran, but it wasn't until Teo heard the distant slam of a door that he exhaled, his shoulders sagging. "Shit." Ryan leaned back. "Are you going to go talk to him?" He wanted to say no, that this was a conversation he was in no mood to have tonight. But quiet expectation gleamed in Ryan's eyes, and Teo knew he could never back out of what he'd already promised him. 187

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"If I go right now, I won't make any sense to him. I shouldn't have snapped. We're both on the defensive now." Ryan nodded and looked at him thoughtfully. "I can go talk to him first. I won't ... I won't mention anything that's best to hear from you. But maybe he'll calm down." It was tempting, but... "He needs to see both of us together," Teo said. "I don't want him to think I'm ashamed to have this conversation, or that I'm really mad at him. He just took me by surprise, that's all. I wasn't expecting we'd be having this talk so soon." "You're right." Ryan stood up and held out his hand to pull Teo to his feet. "I don't think it's going to be too bad. Kids mostly don't have any preconceptions about these things. It's something they learn." Teo's gaze strayed to the front door. "I'm glad you're confident about this. I'm not." Ryan didn't release his hand as they walked into the house. Tony's bedroom light was off, but Teo heard him in his bed, moving around. Ryan paused and squeezed his fingers gently. "I'm confident because Tony is a good kid and you're a good dad." "I'm a terrified dad," Teo muttered. Taking a deep breath, he let go of Ryan's hand and knocked on the door. "Antonio? Ryan and I would like to talk to you." The bed squeaked. "Okay." "Come on out to the kitchen. I'll make hot chocolate." He looked at Ryan. "You like hot chocolate, right?" "Hot chocolate's good." 188

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Antonio didn't venture out until they were both standing in the kitchen. He sent one quick glance to Ryan, but otherwise, all of his attention was focused on his father. Ryan touched his shoulder and directed him to the table. "Let's sit down, okay?" Teo kept his hands busy scooping out the powder into the mugs and turning on the burner beneath the kettle. His stomach was in knots. He didn't actually want the hot chocolate, but it was the best way he could think of to show Antonio he wasn't angry. "Why couldn't you sleep?" That was an easy question to start with. Much easier than what they actually needed to talk about. Antonio's eyes darted from Teo to Ryan and back to Teo again. "Bad dream." "About what?" "I don't remember." "It's okay," Ryan said. "I have bad dreams, too, sometimes. Hot chocolate usually helps me feel better." "I think there was a fire. Here." "No, dreams about fire aren't fun. But you know, there's never been a fire on the Good Fortune Ranch. So you don't have to worry about that." The kettle whistled and Teo immediately took it off the burner, filling the mugs two-thirds full. "These are going to need something to help cool them down. Antonio, see if we still have some marshmallows, will you?"

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He obeyed silently. When he held the bag out to Teo, his eyes were large and luminous. Teo's heart clenched. Sometimes, Antonio was the spitting image of his mother. Dropping a handful into Antonio's cup, then a few into his own, he glanced back at Ryan. "You want some?" "No, thanks." Teo made sure Antonio was sitting again before carrying the hot mug over to the table. He set the other in front of Ryan. Antonio experimentally took a sip from his cup, testing the temperature. His small smile demonstrated his approval. "I guess I can add hot cocoa to your list of accomplishments," Ryan said, after sampling it. Antonio's smile faded with Ryan's words, prompting Teo to fold his hands in front of him and lean toward his son. "You know I don't like you eavesdropping," he said, keeping his tone gentle. Antonio nodded. "There's reasons people keep conversations private. In this house, we respect those reasons." "I know. I'm sorry." Teo shook his head. "This one time, it's not about being sorry. I need to know how much you heard. Or what you think you saw." Antonio looked down to his cocoa, his eyes glued on the melting marshmallows. "I heard Ryan say that you might drop me off at Mrs. Putnam's tomorrow after we go to town. And I heard you say you want to spend the night with Ryan." He looked up briefly. "And I saw you kiss him." 190

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As much as he wanted to, Teo didn't look away. "You're right. You did." "But..." Dark eyes jumped back and forth, clearly unsure where to settle. "It's Ryan." "Which is why I kissed him. I care about Ryan, and sometimes, that means I just have to kiss him." "Why?" "You know when Clay comes home for dinner, he always kisses Mrs. Putnam?" Ryan asked. "Like at dinner?" Antonio nodded. "It's like that. Sometimes that's what adults do to show how much they care about each other." Antonio looked between them. "But you're boys. Boys don't kiss boys. Boys kiss girls." Teo shook his head. "Not always. It's all about who you like to be with." Deliberately, he reached across and took Ryan's hand, lacing their fingers together. It felt very odd doing it in front of Antonio, especially when his eyes fixed on their hands. "I like Ryan. A lot. I like being with him and how he makes me feel when he's around." "And I like being with your dad. I want to do what I can to make him happy. I also like spending time with you. We have a good time together, don't we?" Antonio nodded. "I know this is confusing," Ryan continued. "But if you ever have any questions, you should ask them." Antonio was still looking at their clasped hands. "Why do you want to sleep in the same bed?" 191

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There it was. One of the questions Teo had been dreading the most. There were so many ways to answer it, but he didn't honestly believe that Antonio was old enough to hear most of them. So in the end, he settled for what he hoped would be enough. "For the same reason any two people who care about each other want to be close," he said. "Sometimes, it's a man and a woman. Like me and your mom. Sometimes, it's two men. Like me and Ryan. And just because I'm with Ryan right now, doesn't change how I felt about your mom. You know what I'm saying?" "Yeah, but what would Mom say?" Teo opened his mouth, but Ryan spoke before he could say anything. "Tony, I never met your mother, though I've heard a lot about her. She sounds like a very special woman. But if I could talk to her, I would tell her that I love your father, and I love you, very much. And I'll always do my best for both of you." Teo completely missed Antonio's reaction. He was too busy staring at Ryan, wondering if Ryan had merely uttered the words to appease his son or if they were based on truth. Neither of them had said anything specifically about love so far, though Teo had been sure Ryan had figured it out from the things he'd been saying at the truck the night of their date. And when Ryan glanced at him, a small smile curving his mouth, he did the only thing he could. He leaned forward, grasped the back of Ryan's neck, and pulled him in for a light kiss. 192

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It was brief, much briefer than most of their kisses, but the tenderness said it all. When they parted, Antonio watched them warily, his hands cupped around his mug. "Does that mean you're moving in with us?" He directed the question at Ryan, solemn as only a seven-year-old can be. "Not right now. But I might one day. Would you be okay if I did?" Antonio considered Ryan's question for several seconds before nodding. "Yes. I think so." A lump formed in Teo's throat at his son's declaration. He'd held the daydreams about a new family with Ryan at bay, but now, he feared they would take on a life of their own. "Any other questions?" he asked, hoping against hope he said no. Antonio yawned and shook his head. "Do I have to go back to bed?" Teo relaxed. "Yes. But you can finish your hot chocolate first." Pushing back his chair, he drained his mug and carried it over to the sink. He gave it a quick rinse and then wiped his hands. "I'm just going to go make sure everything's all locked up safe outside. I'll be right back." He caught Ryan's frown before he walked out of the room, but he couldn't stop. He needed the fresh air. He needed the words Ryan had uttered to have time to sink in, and he didn't need his son to see what a wreck he became at hearing them. Teo wasn't sure how much time passed before Ryan joined him outside. He strained his ears when Ryan opened the door, but he didn't hear Antonio in the kitchen. Ryan gently 193

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shut the screen door and said, "I sent Tony back to bed. Are you okay?" The moonlight cast half of Ryan's face in silver, but Teo didn't approach any closer in order to see the rest of it. "Did you mean it?" "What I said to Tony? Yes, I meant it." He folded his arms over his chest. His hands were shaking. He didn't want Ryan to see it. "I think it helped with Antonio. I'll understand if you said it just to make things easier for him to understand." "I didn't." Ryan stepped out of the shadows and moved towards him. "I mean, I said it now because I figured it would help Tony. But I meant it. I love you." Teo swallowed in a vain attempt to rid his throat of the lump that had returned. "This isn't what I expected, you know. I came here for Antonio, for our future. I didn't expect to find you, too." "But you did find me." Ryan's smile was lopsided. "And now I think you're stuck with me. You don't have a problem with that, do you?" "Absolutely not," he said without pause. "I meant what I told you. I really do think you're the best thing to happen to me in a very long time." Ryan moved close enough to touch and rested his hands on Teo's hips. "Good. Because I'm pretty sure you're the best thing that's happened to me. And if you think it's too soon for sleepovers, you should probably send me home now."

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The soft touch unbound the knots that had tied him up, prompting Teo to cup one hand around Ryan's nape. "Don't go. I need you here tonight." "I'll stay. I need to be with you tonight." Ryan shifted his hands back to wrap his arms around Teo. "I think you did a really good job with Tony. It wasn't as bad as I'm sure you thought it would be." "No, it could've been a lot worse." He rested his brow to Ryan's, just inhaling the other man's scent. "Thank you. For everything." "You're welcome. For everything. Though I think maybe I should be the one thanking you." Teo ghosted his mouth over Ryan's before pulling back and smiling. "Nah, that's going to be my song tonight. As long as you're sleeping over, I can get that massage you promised, right?" "Absolutely. You're still far too tense. Besides, I have to do what I can to make sure this isn't the first and last sleepover." His smile widened. Dropping his hand to capture one of Ryan's, he led him back to the door. This would be far from the last night they spent together. If he had his way, Teo would make sure that Ryan had a far more permanent position in his and Antonio's life from that night on. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Fifteen After Paige agreed to watch Tony for the afternoon, Ryan promised he would take Leni and Matty for an entire weekend, on short notice, no questions asked. It had only been three days since Ryan confessed his love to Teo, and he was still greedy for every second he could get. That meant, he had to take advantage of meal times. Before breakfast. After dinner. During lunch. Ryan packed a large picnic lunch for Teo, and stowed it and a blanket in the truck. He knew that Clay wanted the perimeter fence completely mended before the autumn, and Ryan found Teo doing just that along the western edge. They were far enough away from the house that he could barely see it, and Ryan was reasonably certain that nobody would stumble across them. Ryan pulled to a stop next to Teo's truck and leaned out his window. "Ready for lunch?" Teo straightened from where he had been bent over a broken post. Sweat glued his shirt to his back, and dirt smeared across his strong jaw. At that moment, he was the most delicious thing Ryan had ever seen. "It's time for lunch already?" "It is." Ryan jumped out of the truck and grabbed the basket. "You look like you could use a break, anyway." Tossing aside the hammer he'd been holding, Teo grabbed the bandanna out of his back pocket and mopped his face. "I could use this damn fence being done, that's for sure." 196

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"How does that poem go? 'Something there is that doesn't love a wall.'" Ryan set the basket down at Teo's feet, and his arms immediately went around the other man. He leaned in and inhaled deeply, catching the mingled scent of sweat, grass, sun, and dirt. "God, you smell good." Teo laughed, a deep rumble that vibrated through both of them. "I smell like I need a shower." He dropped a kiss to Ryan's temple, squeezing his ass in a quick embrace. "How about we re-evaluate it when I get home tonight? Up close and personal." Ryan's balls tightened at the thought of doing anything up close and personal with Teo. "Sounds like a good plan to me." Ryan released him and picked up the blanket. "I guess in the meantime, I should let you eat." He spread the blanket over a flat piece of grass, then knelt and began unpacking the food. "I've got some chicken left over from last night, and a few sandwiches. Plus, I think Paige snuck in a few cookies." Teo grabbed the bottle of water and downed half of it in a single gulp before he set it down. "Antonio finish with the barn this morning?" "He finished the stalls. I told him he's going to help me with the tack room next, then we'll talk about taking Clover out for a short ride." Ryan took Teo's hand and pulled him down to the blanket. A drop of water clung to the corner of his mouth, and Ryan couldn't resist leaning over to catch it with his tongue. "He worked really hard, though. I imagine he's going to sleep well tonight."

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A twinkle appeared in Teo's eye. "So is this what happens to you when you're all settled? You give up on subtlety altogether?" "Hey, I didn't tell the boy he needed to work himself half to death. He decided that all on his own. Besides, you're the one who invited me over to see if you smell better after a shower." "I don't remember inviting you into the shower." "Wait. I thought I had a standing invitation for your shower." "Did you? I don't remember that." Before Ryan could protest, Teo shoved at his shoulder, knocking him onto his back and pinning him to the hard ground. He loomed above him, blocking out most of the sun, and the smile that had been in his eyes warmed to his mouth. "You know, you keep bringing my lunch out here like this and people are going to start getting ideas." "What sort of ideas?" Ryan asked with fake innocence. He didn't try to break free or sit up. "Maybe that I'll start taking them lunch, too?" The smile darkened, his eyes going hard and drifting to Ryan's mouth. "Better not. I might have a word or two to say about that if you do." Ryan trailed his fingers up Teo's arm. "You're not the possessive sort, are you? I'm not sure I signed up for that." Teo caught his wrist in a fluid move that surprised him with its swiftness. Twisting Ryan's arm over his head, he lowered himself until he filled Ryan's vision, his broad chest pressing him into the grass. 198

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"You might be out of luck then." His voice was even lower than normal, its huskiness going straight to Ryan's cock. "Because I don't share well with others." "That's okay," Ryan breathed, his eyes locked on Teo's mouth. He wanted to suck Teo's full bottom lip between his teeth. "You can have me all to yourself." Ryan shifted beneath Teo's larger body, trying to relieve a bit of the pressure in his jeans. "For as long as you want me." "And what if I want you for lunch instead of a couple sandwiches?" Sliding his knee outside Ryan's leg, he trapped him from moving any further, letting his free hand go to Ryan's waistband. "A mouthful of you sounds better than Mrs. Putnam's cookies." The corner of his mouth lifted. "Just don't tell her I said that." "Make sure I'm incoherent when you're done, and your secret will be safe with me." He lifted his head and watched as Teo unbuckled his belt. His long fingers moved quickly, and Ryan's breath caught as Teo unbuttoned his fly. The air was warm against Ryan's skin, but Teo's rough skin seemed like it could burn him. "If you're not incoherent, I've done something wrong." Teo bent his head to touch the tip of his tongue to Ryan's Adam's apple, prompting him to tilt his head back and expose it further. His lashes fluttered shut as Teo explored inch after inch, never allowing more contact than the faint caresses of his tongue. Now that Ryan's jeans were open, Teo's hand took on the same teasing tone, callused fingertips tracing around the crown through his underwear. 199

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Ryan gasped with each caress, jerking his hips slightly each time Teo circled his head. It was an involuntary movement, his muscles constricting and relaxing. Teo always seemed to know the best way to drive him crazy. It wasn't long until the thin material grew damp with pre-come. Still, Teo didn't vary from teasing touches and the light laps of his tongue. "You're ... making me a little incoherent now." His answer was a grunt. Nothing changed about the way he moved almost delicately along the lines of Ryan's neck. Nothing faltered from the too-deliberate caresses around the tip of his cock. The only thing that differed was the redistribution of Teo's weight, as he aligned his hips so that the thick bulge of his erection ground against Ryan's thigh. Ryan moaned, frustrated by the layers of clothes between his skin and Teo's cock. But when he tried to pull his hand free, Teo merely tightened his grip. He pushed harder against Teo's body, applying more pressure to his erection, and began to rock back and forth, increasing the friction between their bodies. A sudden grip around his shaft made everything inside him go still. "You're so impatient," Teo murmured. His mouth had moved up to Ryan's ear at that point, and his tongue traced its curvature. "The more you fight it, the longer I'll make you wait." Ryan couldn't do anything except nod and relax back against the ground. The thing of it was, he generally wasn't impatient. It was just Teo who made him lose his mind a 200

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little. Like a part of him was still afraid that this wasn't really happening, and Teo would stop, or just disappear. "Sorry." "Don't apologize." Teeth nipped at the soft spot behind his ear. "Just don't move." It was easier said than done, especially with the weight of Teo's cock feeling like it was growing heavier and heavier against his hip. Teo relaxed his grip, but he didn't remove his hand, now using his rough palm to stroke up and down, up and down the length of Ryan's shaft. It was maddening. He'd stop just before the sensitive head, and turn back before reaching Ryan's balls. The only thing that made up for it was the very definite downward path his mouth was starting to make, trailing over Ryan's collarbone to mouth his chest through his shirt. His muscles twitched and fluttered beneath Teo's lips, but Ryan didn't let himself move. He wanted to yank his T-shirt over his head so he could feel the pressure from Teo's mouth, but he put that thought out of his mind. Instead, he concentrated on the warmth of Teo's hand with each slow stroke, and the way his head moved lower and lower. He blew a warm stream of air over the exposed skin at Ryan's hip, then followed that with a light swipe of his tongue. When Teo drew his hand up this time, he skated right over the tip to the elastic band of his underwear. Ryan groaned when Teo slipped his fingers beneath the fabric, pushing it down and out of his way as he licked a soft circle around his navel. The groan turned into a whimper as Teo went all the way down this time, dragging his short nails over the shaft as he curled his fingers around Ryan's sac. 201

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"Remember," he heard Teo murmur. "I said don't move." He gave no room for compliance. He simply opened his mouth and sucked the dripping head past his waiting lips. "Oh ... God..." Pleasure rushed through him at the first hard suck, and it didn't relent. It crashed through his body again and again as Teo's cheeks hollowed, and the seal around his crown grew tighter. His cock throbbed, and he imagined how it would feel if Teo swallowed him to the base. But the invisible ropes that kept him bound to the ground were too strong. Teo said not to move. So he wouldn't. Not even to feel Teo's throat swallow around his shaft. He opened his eyes, but he could only see the top of Teo's head. He didn't risk lifting his head off the ground, afraid that the glorious heat moving faster and faster through his body would disappear. Teo squeezed his sac until there was a fine edge of pain to the sensation washing through him. Ryan's body reacted immediately, his hips shooting forward, lifting his ass from the ground as everything erupted. His cock jerked against Teo's tongue, shooting strings of come. More of his length slid into the warm recesses of Teo's mouth, and the soft moans that came with his swallowing made Ryan clutch at the grass. It was still a little heady knowing Teo was in his life, that Teo wanted him as much as Ryan wanted Teo, that he had nearly everything he had ever wanted. Moments like this made all the fears he'd ever harbored vanish. 202

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Teo let go of his balls to hold him against the earth, sucking at the tip as his tongue caught the last few drops of come in the slit. Ryan's softening shaft fell from his mouth, slapping lightly against his stomach, and he sat up to gaze down at him. "So why is it you shout the walls down when people can hear, but you're silent as a mouse when we're all alone?" Teo teased. Ryan grinned and shook his head. "Don't know. It's a mystery, I guess." Ryan palmed Teo's cock through his jeans. "Are you going to let me do something about this?" Teo's stomach growled before he could utter a word. Laughing, Teo reached for the basket of food. "You'll just have to make it up to me tonight. While you're appreciating how good my shower works." "I guess I can wait for tonight," Ryan said, squeezing him again before releasing him. He tucked himself back in his underwear and buttoned his pants. "And just be grateful you couldn't wait." Teo pulled out a thick sandwich and passed it over. "Has Antonio talked to you any more about everything? Because he isn't talking to me about it. And I don't know if that means he's okay with it, or if he's afraid to talk to me, or something else I haven't thought about." "He asked me this morning if I'd be coming over to dinner every night. I told him I'd come over tonight and asked him if that's okay." Ryan took a bite from the sandwich. "He said he wanted me to come over for dinner every night. I think he's going to be fine." 203

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"As long as he's talking to one of us. Better it's you, anyway." He shot him a half-smile before digging into his food. "First hard question and I'd be asking for your advice as it is." Ryan deeply appreciated that Teo considered his advice when it came to Tony. He wished, though, that Teo had a bit more confidence in his abilities as a father. But either way, it warmed him completely when Teo asked his opinion on anything that pertained to Tony. Ryan managed to keep his hands to himself while they ate, but didn't want to leave when they were finished with the food. The fence wouldn't fix itself, though, and Ryan had the feeling that Clay wouldn't be so tolerant of their relationship if it began to encroach on Teo's responsibilities. He was already counting down the hours left in the afternoon when he finally repacked the basket and drove back to the house. He saw a car in the driveway from five hundred yards away, but as he drove closer, he realized it wasn't just any car. It was John's. "Fuck." He had never told Teo that he had seen John and asked for his help. He also had never mentioned that he promised to meet John for dinner once he found the girls. He especially did not mention the fact that John apparently wanted a second chance. Ryan knew it would make Teo angry. But he didn't intend to ask for anything from John except help. And he thought his motives were pure enough. This was for Teo. This was for Tony. 204

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He just wished that John hadn't taken it upon himself to drive all the way out to the ranch. What happened to calling? Especially in the middle of the week? Ryan found John in the living room, talking to Paige. He didn't offer a greeting or bother about being polite. "I didn't expect to see you here." Though Paige frowned, John rose to his feet with a ready smile. "I thought I'd surprise you. And it's been too long since I've been out here. After seeing how great you were looking when you stopped in to see me last week, I knew I had to come check it out for myself." Tony played with Leni and Matty in the next room, and Ryan decided he did not want the young boy to meet John. He didn't even want Tony to see John. "I'm certainly surprised. Why don't we go talk outside? We can go for a walk." "Oh." He gestured toward the briefcase resting at his feet. "It's just that I brought some of the information you were interested in. But if you'd rather look at it when we go out for dinner tonight, I suppose we can take a walk. It is a beautiful day." Paige shot him a curious glance, and he shook his head slightly. "No, I want to see what you found. I've been really eager to give Teo some good news. Let's look at it on the porch." John shrugged and bent to pick up his briefcase. "It was wonderful seeing you again, Paige," he said as he followed Ryan to the doorway. "Hopefully, it won't be quite as long next time." 205

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John's comment annoyed Ryan. It didn't seem fair that he was going to have to break up with John all over again just because he had gotten lonely and changed his mind. Ryan gestured at the chair on the corner of the porch, indicating John should sit, and leaned against the railing. "You usually don't have time to get away from the office in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week." John's smile wasn't fading. "I've learned a few things in the past two months. First and foremost, I give proper attention to things that are truly important. Like you." "You know, John, two months ago, I would have given anything to hear that. But things have changed since then. And I just don't believe you." "So you let me prove it to you. Because I'm serious, Ry. I've given this a lot of thought." "No." Ryan put as much finality into his voice as he could. "Are you forgetting that we had other problems? You want to move back to Denver. You don't want kids. You can't stand the thought of being with somebody who isn't as successful as you. Any of this ringing a bell?" John rose from his seat and crossed to the railing, standing as close as he could get to Ryan without actually touching. "You know what I can't forget? How much history we have. How I can draw almost every good thing in my life straight back to you. I know I messed up. But it hasn't been so long that we can't get us back on track." John hadn't given him enough room to get around without actually touching the other man. And he had the feeling that 206

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John would take any contact as a positive sign, no matter how incidental. "It has been. I don't think..." "Ryan?" Paige opened the front door and stepped onto the porch. "Can you run this down to Clay?" She held up a brown paper bag. "He's not going to be able to make it up to the house for lunch today." "Sure can." John was forced to step back to allow Ryan to pass, and Ryan thought he could kiss his sister-in-law. Thank you, he mouthed, taking the bag from her. But if he thought he would get a break from John, he realized his mistake when John followed him down the steps. "I know you miss me," John said. "You wouldn't have stopped by my office with this business for your friend if you didn't." Ryan shook his head. "I went to your office because I don't know anybody else who is capable of finding those two girls. It wasn't about me or us. It was about him." "You could have called, or e-mailed. You didn't." "Would you have agreed if I just called or e-mailed? Besides, I was already in town for my interview. I didn't go out of my way." But John wasn't going to be swayed. "You wanted to see me as badly as I wanted to see you. Admit it, Ry. Moving out was hard on you." "Of course it was hard on me. It wasn't my decision to go, was it? But how am I supposed to know you're not going to do it again? It seems like a sucker's bet to me." 207

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Their paces quickened the closer they got to the stables. Ryan just wanted this conversation over and done with, already regretting that he'd had to go to John in the first place with this problem. "That's what I've been trying to tell you, Ry. I've been doing a lot of thinking. About everything. And you're right. Some issues just aren't going to go away. But that doesn't mean we can't talk about the other ones." Ryan stopped outside the closed barn door. He didn't want Clay involved in this conversation, either. Not even peripherally. "What do you mean?" Hope flared in John's light eyes. "I mean, compromise. You want a family. I'm willing to give you that." Ryan swallowed. "How can you compromise on this? You don't even want kids." "But I do want you, and I want you happy, and if that's what it's going to take, I'll do it." He took a half-step closer, his hand drifting forward to touch Ryan's fingers. "I've even been doing the homework. On adoption, surrogates, that kind of thing." Ryan was too stunned to move away from John's touch. He had once made an off-hand reference to John that he preferred a surrogate over adoption. John had merely grunted. "You've been busy. Between that and looking for Duena and Coraly, have you had any time for work?" John tightened the contact between them. "I told you. I'm finally giving attention to what's really important to me. That's you, Ry. I love you, and I want to make this work." 208

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Ryan knew if he didn't move, John would try to kiss him. He didn't think he would react the way he used to react to John's advances, but he also didn't want to risk it. "I can't talk about this. Not now..." Ryan turned and pushed the door open. "Not..." Ever. But the word died in his mouth as he came face to face with Teo. The dirt was still smeared across Teo's jaw, but Ryan didn't even notice it, seeing instead the muscles twitching from how tightly Teo clenched his teeth together. His dark eyes were flint, but for a split second before they shuttered, Ryan thought he saw hurt gleaming there, sharp and livid. They flickered past Ryan's shoulder to John and hardened even further, just as his knuckles went white, clutching the canvas satchel of tools dangling in his grip. "Oh, there he is." John pushed past Ryan to step up to Teo with his best smile firmly in place. "Saves me having to tell this story twice. And now maybe I can sneak Ryan out of here early for our date tonight." Teo's gaze shot past John to freeze Ryan in his place. "Date?" "No." Ryan wished the word was stronger, but he didn't have enough air left in his lungs. "It's not a date. We don't have a date. I ... John helped find information about your sisters. I told him..." Ryan paused. The explanation wasn't going to make this better. "I'd buy him dinner." "Dinner." "Ryan's idea," John said before Ryan could speak. "We had such a good time the other night, he suggested it as a treat for us." 209

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"Shut up." Ryan snapped the words without thinking. Judging from the look on John's face, he never expected Ryan to use that tone with him. "Teo, last week when I went to the interview, I stayed in town longer to talk about finding your sisters. That's all. John's here now because he found them." Teo didn't relax. He didn't even blink. "I don't remember asking for his help." "I know. But finding them was a bit more difficult than I had anticipated. He's got more contacts than I do." "I was happy to do it for Ryan," John said, a little too eagerly. "He really did have only your best interests in mind. He was very persuasive." Ryan didn't think it was possible, but Teo's jaw tightened even more. Teo took a step back, prompting Ryan to follow with a step of his own. "Don't," Teo said softly. "Teo, please, I just..." "Ryan? Did you bring my lunch down?" Clay stepped out of the tack room, wiping his hands off on a rag, and stopped short at the tableaux in front of him. "John? What are you doing here?" "Nothing," Ryan said quickly, cutting John off before he could find a way to make things even worse. "He was just helping me out with something." Without taking his eyes from Ryan, Teo continued to retreat. "I'll just get out and finish that fence, Clay." He jerked a thumb toward the opposite end of the stable. "Tell Mrs. Putnam I'll pick up Antonio for dinner." 210

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"Teo. Wait." Ryan made a move to follow him, but Clay caught his arm before he could take more than a step. Teo didn't stop. He didn't even acknowledge he heard Ryan. He just kept walking, until he slipped out the side door, where his truck was waiting. Ryan tried to pull away. "Let me go, Clay." "No, I don't think I should." "Damn it." Ryan pulled away and Clay immediately caught his arm again. "Let me go." "Let him cool off a bit," Clay said quietly. "I don't know what's going on, but he doesn't look like he's in the mood for a calm conversation." Ryan managed to pull away from Clay again, but it wasn't his brother blocking his path to Teo. Now John stood in front of him, his smile gone. "Did you really have the nerve to ask for my help for your new boyfriend?" he sneered. Outside, Teo's truck roared to life, and Ryan knew his chance of talking to Teo was gone. He felt his patience snap, and Clay might have felt it, too, because he grabbed Ryan's arm once again. "Fuck you, John. Fuck you and your I've-missed-you bullshit. You fucking stomped all over me and you didn't even have the decency to call me and apologize for it. The way I see it, you owe me, and helping my new boyfriend was the least you could fucking do." "The least..." John's nostrils flared, and his eyes snapped. "Who do you think got you that interview at the Academy?" 211

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"Oh. Of course. If I have a job at a prestigious high school, then you can justify spending time with me again. You can pretend you aren't slumming, right? I didn't even want that fucking job." "Because you want to spend time with the Neanderthal instead?" John rolled his eyes. "It has to be about the sex. Because I'll bet my new widescreen he doesn't even have a high school education." "I think it's time for you to leave, John." Clay's quiet voice was firm. "I won't have you disrespecting one of my employees." John's gaze swiveled back to Ryan. "Is this really what you want? To be knee-deep in horse shit with a guy who shovels it for a living?" "Teo might not have a widescreen, but he has more intelligence and integrity than you'll ever have. I'd rather be here than knee-deep in your bullshit." Twin spots of color appeared in John's cheeks. After several seconds, he said tightly, "I'll leave the information I brought with Paige, and send the rest of it in the mail. I really hope you know what you're doing, Ry." With that, he turned on his heel and walked out. "I should go find Teo." "Wait until he comes back tonight," Clay said. "He'll need some time." Ryan thought he would need some time, himself. He didn't even know what he would say to Teo if he did find him. "Sorry about bringing all of this crap to your doorstep." He held up 212

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the sack he still carried. "Here's your lunch. I think I'm going for a ride." "Do you want me to come with you?" Ryan shook his head. "No. I'll be fine. I just need to think." About his apology, about what he could do to make Teo understand he didn't mean harm. About what he would do if Teo didn't want to forgive him. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Sixteen Ryan returned to the house just before dinner, hot and dirty. He passed Paige without speaking to her and went directly upstairs to shower. By the time he emerged from his room, he felt better physically, but the shower didn't help alleviate the strain in his chest, or the weight on his shoulders. From the stairs, he heard the door open, and then Teo call for Tony. He held himself back from running down to greet him. If they were going to talk, it wouldn't be in front of the children. Even so, a spark of hope ignited. Maybe Teo was ready to discuss what had happened? Maybe he had cooled down, like Clay had suggested? But that spark died when he heard Tony ask, "Is Ryan coming for dinner tonight?" and Teo's response. A simple, flat no. Ryan stayed on the stairs until Teo left with Tony, then slunk back upstairs. He wasn't hungry enough to eat dinner with Paige and Clay. From his bedroom window, he could see the cottages. He could see the light on in Teo's home. He could imagine them eating dinner, then Teo settling down to watch television with Tony. Their nightly routine unfolded in Ryan's mind with a painful level of clarity. He wanted to be there. He wanted to be part of that nightly routine. After the lights went out in the cottage, he slipped down the stairs and out the backdoor. He wasn't exactly looking forward to his conversation with Teo, but they needed to talk. 214

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He needed to explain himself. Nothing would be right until he at least attempted to explain himself. He only hoped that Teo would be willing to listen to him. He saw Teo's silhouette on the porch and walked down the path from the backdoor to the cottages slowly, even cautiously, his attention locked on Teo's shadow. If Teo got up and went back in the house, he didn't know what he would do. And there was no doubt that Teo saw him, too. But he didn't get up. He didn't leave. Once Ryan reached the porch, he stopped. Only to discover he didn't know what to say. So he started at the beginning. "I'm sorry." He couldn't see Teo's eyes. All he saw was the thin line of his mouth. Maybe it was better that way. Maybe it would be easier. "Does that really make you feel better?" Or maybe not. "No. I feel like shit. I only went to John because I wanted to help you. I never meant to upset you." "So I wasn't supposed to find out?" "I thought by the time you found out, the results ... well, you'd think the results were more important than ... the process." Teo snorted. Someplace else, some other time, Ryan might not have even heard it. Now, he was so aware of every little thing, it felt like thunder in his ears. "You're the only person I've told about my family since Carmen," he said. "Not even Clay knows. And you went and told a stranger." 215

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"I didn't tell him any of the details, Teo. I didn't tell him why you were looking for them, or how you were separated. He didn't even know you were anything except Clay's employee. The details ... the facts ... I gave John were just things like names and dates." He stiffened when Teo suddenly rose from his seat. Why did the dark make him look so much larger? "Like March third?" Teo said. "That's Antonio's birthday. Or August fourteenth. That was Carmen's. Or February twenty-seventh; the day she died. Those are just dates, too. Are they not important, either?" "That's not what I meant." Ryan refused to take a step back, though his first impulse was to give up the ground he held. "Everything about you ... and your life ... is important to me. You're important to me, Teo." "You didn't even tell me what you were doing. Yeah, I can see how important I am." "I should have told you. I should have asked you. I should have done just about anything besides what I actually did." "It doesn't change the fact that you did it." "No. And it doesn't change the fact that I will do anything to fix it. Just tell me, and I'll do it." Teo took long, slow steps toward him, each one silent. He came to a stop right in front of Ryan, standing so straight it forced Ryan to look up. "I think you spent too many years with that lawyer boyfriend of yours." His voice was lower than normal. Harder. "You learned how to talk out the side of your mouth to say what you think people want to hear." 216

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"No. No, Teo. I'm not ... I'm not trying to say what you want to hear. I love you, and I made a really, really stupid mistake. But I never meant to hurt you. I never, ever meant that." "You love me?" He sounded incredulous. "You don't even respect me. How the hell can you love me?" Then he laughed, a dry bark of a sound that rattled all the way to Ryan's bones. "Oh, wait. I get it. This is about the fucking, isn't it? That's what you love. That's why you kept coming back." Ryan reeled, shocked and hurt by the way Teo echoed John's words back to him. Is that what they both really thought of him? "No. I keep coming back because you're you. Because I love you." Ryan knew it wouldn't do any good to repeat it, but he didn't know what else to say. "And I do respect you. I didn't mean any disrespect. Teo." "Then why didn't you tell me about what you were doing? Why keep it a secret? Hell, you had dinner with the man! You were going to have dinner with him again. Were you going to tell me about any of that?" "I wasn't going to tell you about the dinners," Ryan admitted. "I didn't want you to know because I didn't want you to get the wrong idea. It was bad enough that John had the wrong idea." Teo stuffed his hands into his pockets. At least he wasn't coming any closer. "I heard him. He wants you back." "Yeah. He was going to make sure we had the perfect life together, right down to the part where I had the perfect job. 217

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But I don't want anything to do with him. I told him to fuck off." "If you don't want anything to do with him, why go to him in the first place? That's what I don't get. You know my feelings on the man. You know my feelings on my privacy. Doesn't any of that matter to you?" Ryan studied Teo's face and understood that his protests would fall on deaf ears. Teo cared more about actions than words. Ryan could talk himself blue in the face, but it wouldn't change the fact that he had disregarded Teo's boundaries. "It matters. Your happiness matters to me. The promise I made to you matters to me. I saw your face when I said I would help find your sisters. You smiled. But you don't believe me, do you?" For a moment, Teo crumpled. "I don't know what to believe. I thought I knew you, but ... I don't know." He backed up into the shadows until the darkness hid him again. "Go home. We're done here." "We're done here? For tonight? Or the two of us are done?" Teo stopped moving. "Tonight. Tomorrow. Maybe longer." He took a long, shuddering breath. Ryan imagined him running a hand over his head like he did when he was feeling out of control. "Maybe it's time we both accept that I'm just the rebound and move on." "Or maybe it's time we both accept that you don't care enough about me to even try to forgive me. I can't help but notice that I'm the only one who ever mentioned love. I'm not 218

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saying that you have to forgive me tonight, or tomorrow. But you're not even willing to give me another chance." Ryan started off but then stopped and turned around. "It must be nice, Teo, to be so goddamned perfect that you've never needed a second chance." Silence. A cricket chirped, followed by another. Teo sighed. "I'm not perfect. After all, I thought sharing the most precious thing in my life with you meant more than saying a few words. Guess I was wrong." Ryan knew he should walk away. But he couldn't. Not quite yet. "What are you going to tell Tony?" "I don't know." His tone was bleak. "I don't even know what to tell you, and you were always the one person I could talk to." John might have broken his heart, but it felt like Teo took a running kick at his chest. He didn't think he could breathe properly. "Let me know whatever you decide. Either way. I don't want to be caught flat-footed with him." He hesitated, like there might be something more to say. Or maybe Teo would stop him from leaving. He turned, and his boot was alarmingly loud where it scraped across the gravel. "Just because I never said the words, doesn't mean I don't love you." Teo didn't call after him, didn't raise his voice, didn't sound anything but sad and resigned now. "Otherwise, this wouldn't hurt so damn much." 219

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Ryan squeezed his eyes shut. He knew Teo was hurt because he considered Ryan's actions a sort of betrayal. But why couldn't he see that Ryan just wanted him to have his family back? That Ryan just wanted Tony to know his aunts, and maybe one day, his cousins? But he had been wrong. Maybe he had been wrong about a lot of things. Maybe that's why he was in the position he was in. The same position he started in at the beginning of summer. Alone. Unemployed. Homeless—Ryan knew he couldn't stay at the Good Fortune. Forget about the pain it would cause him to see Teo every day, it would just be too damned awkward. "And I never thought of you as the rebound. If I did, it wouldn't kill me to walk away." But he did just that. Putting one foot in front of the other. In the back of his mind, he knew without a doubt that he would stop if Teo just said his name. But Teo never spoke, so Ryan never stopped moving. Not even when he finally reached his bedroom. He pulled the suitcase from under the bed and began filling it systematically. He wasn't going to run out of the house that night, but he would be ready to go by the next afternoon. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Seventeen The crowd erupted in deafening cheers, and Ryan couldn't help but smile with pride. "That's Ty Putnam, ladies and gentlemen! Give that Montana boy another round of applause! And what about that bull, huh? Big Red wasn't very friendly tonight, but Ty held on!" The crowd obliged, whistling and stomps joining the shouts and clapping. Ty rescued his hat from the arena floor and waved it at the crowd, which just encouraged more screams of encouragement. Ryan watched as a group of girls hooted and waved, trying to get his younger brother's attention. But Ty trotted out of the arena, with the cheers echoing in his ears. "Only two more rides to go. Ty Putnam could very well win that purse tonight!" Ryan didn't think anybody would be able to outscore Ty. Very few people in the world could outride his baby brother these days. Ty was well on his way to a purse at the World Championship, Ryan was sure of it. He pushed away from the tall fence that separated the spectators from the arena and hurried behind the corrals, his eyes seeking out the younger man. "I think you deserve a drink after that ride," Ryan said. The face that turned to greet him was older than the last time he'd seen him, a new laugh line or two at the corners of his mouth, a little less angular through the jaw. The hair was lighter, nearly blond with all his time in the sun, cut short and 221

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far more stylish than he saw any of the other bull riders wearing. The dancing blue eyes were the same, though, and they lit up at the sight of him, followed almost immediately by the playful smile he knew from his youth. "Only if you're buying," Ty exclaimed. He closed the distance and pulled Ryan into a one-armed hug, slapping him on the back before stepping away again. "What the hell are you doing here?" "I'll buy the first round, but if you win the purse tonight, I expect you to pick up the tab on a few." Ryan smiled. "And I'm here because I want to spend time with somebody who has worse judgment than I do." Ty snorted. "Everybody has worse judgment than you do. You and Clay make the rest of us look like four-year-olds playing with matches." "Not this time. You know I fucked up pretty good if I'm running off to hide at the rodeo." Ryan jerked his head. "You got something to drink at your trailer, or do we need to go find our booze?" "Wow, you really must be messed up if you're asking that dumb a question." With a hitch of his thumb, Ty began to lead the way. "So what's this all about?" "I'll need to be five or six beers down before I give you the full story, but I can sum it up. First, I was fired. Then I was dumped. So I went home to lick my wounds, and I fell in love. Then I did something so stupid, it was a move worthy of you, no offense. And I got dumped again." Ty paused on the front step of his trailer, gaping back at him. "I think we're both going to have to be five or six beers 222

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down for me to believe this story. Come on. Might as well get a head start." As Ty pulled the first of what would be many beers out of the small fridge, Ryan relaxed at the familiarity. He and Ty had spent many, many nights sitting around and getting drunk off whatever beer they could find. Sometimes, Clay could be counted on buying them a six-pack. Other times, they were left to their own devices, but they never went thirsty. Ryan's heart twisted a little; he missed his little brother. More than that, he missed those years when everything was much simpler. Ty caught him up on the circuit while they drank. His plans for the rest of the year, the towns he had already seen. He was going to qualify for the PBR that year. When Ty informed him, he damned near burst with pride. Ryan was happy to let him talk as they finished beer after beer. After five, he started to feel loose. After six, he felt more than a little buzzed. "I should have practiced on those horses," Ryan muttered. "Never could ride a bull, but I could have been great at roping. Now it's probably too late for that." "Nah, it's never too late." Draining the rest of his beer, Ty tossed his can into the garbage and gave him a lopsided grin. "But see, if you go and do that, Clay'll be on me for corrupting you. And one corrupt Putnam is more than enough, he'll say." "Clay's already not happy with me. You know he just wants a nice quiet life with his family. He didn't need me dragging drama to his front door, and then creating more." Ryan snagged another beer from the fridge. "You haven't even 223

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been in a relationship since ... in like four years, right? You've got the right idea." "Maybe for me. But you and John have been good now for a hell of a lot longer than that. What happened to fuck that up?" "I don't know." Ryan took a long swallow. "I don't know. Too incompatible, I guess. He got sick of me nagging him. I didn't realize it before. I thought it was because of my job, but I guess he just got tired of me. That's not even the worst part. Not by a long shot." Another swallow. "He tried to mend things, but I told him I was tired of his bullshit, so I can't even go back there. That's not the worst of it either." "Telling the person you love you're tired of their bullshit isn't the worst of it?" Ty swigged his beer, shaking his head. "I'm glad I wasn't around to see Clay go off on you." "Clay didn't go off on me. You know what that bastard said to me? That when I was ready to come back, my room would always be waiting for me. Just like that." Ryan dropped his head on his arm. "I don't love John. I love Teo. And he loves me, I guess. He said so. But then he let me leave." Frowning, Ty licked the beer off his lips as he regarded Ryan in confusion. "Teo? Who the hell is Teo?" "Clay's new right-hand man. I felt like somebody suckerpunched me from the moment I saw him." He lifted his head to look at Ty with miserable eyes. "He has a little boy. His name is Tony—Antonio—and he's the greatest kid I've ever met. Do you know what he did? Saddled up Clover and took off to explore the ranch. I was pretty upset when it happened, 224

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but he's a brave little guy. And he didn't cry when I told him I was going, but I damned near did." "So ... wait. You love this Teo, and his kid. And he loves you, you said. So why are you here, getting drunk with me, instead of back at the ranch with them?" "It's a really long story. But I betrayed Teo's trust. I didn't mean to. I thought I was helping him and Tony. I needed to ask for John's help to find Teo's sisters. They've been estranged for years. When he found out I asked John for help ... without consulting him first..." Ryan sighed and finished the rest of his beer, but it didn't help the pain in his chest. He had a feeling he could drink another seven, and it still wouldn't help. "I miss them." Ty whistled low under his breath, lounging back in his seat as he toyed with his beer. "You know, I'd say we need to get you laid, except I think, knowing you, that'd probably make things worse." "Yeah, I'd say. Both John and Teo think I can't tell the difference between love and fucking. A one-night stand now would just confirm everything they already think. It wouldn't help anyway." "So ... one more question. Honest. And then I'll stop being a nosy parker, I promise." He rolled onto his side, propping his head up on his hand. "You love him, he loves you, but he doesn't trust you. How is it you think you're going to get him to get over that if you're not even in the same state as him anymore?" Ryan shook his head. "I don't think he's ever going to trust me again. He's not the sort who trusts, or loves, easily. And I 225

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blew it." He frowned thoughtfully. "I totally ruined everything. That means I can't really make anything worse at this point, right?" "If you've ruined everything? Nope. Now you got nothing to lose." He grinned, that boyish smile that had been his downfall since he'd climbed out of his crib. "Take it from someone who knows that one firsthand." "So, Ty, if you were in my shoes, would you make a final gesture that would both prove the depth of your emotions and probably ruin whatever shred of a chance you could have with the object of your emotions?" "Without even looking back, big brother." "This is why we always used to get in so much trouble," Ryan muttered. He wasn't sure if it was the beer or Ty's devilmay-care attitude, but he was feeling good about this decision. He popped open a new beer and grinned. "It's also why you're my favorite brother. Don't tell Clay that." They both laughed, and it didn't feel too forced to Ryan. It was going to be a long time until he felt like he had both his feet under him, but he thought this was an important step in the right direction. **** Teo sat in the over-decorated waiting room, legs stiff, spine stiffer. The envelope he kept worrying in his hands was getting soft at the edges, but he held it because it was the one thing keeping his butt in the chair. The law office where a certain John Huntsman conducted business ranked pretty low on places he would ever want to be. Maybe the lowest. But he 226

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couldn't avoid it, not now. The sooner he got this business over with, the better off everybody was going to be. The receptionist's phone rang. Teo blocked out the sound of her voice until she called his name, and he looked up to see her smiling prettily at him. "Mr. Huntsman will see you now." Teo nodded his head in gratitude, unfolding from the chair to follow her down the hall. He avoided looking into any of the other glass-fronted offices, but when the receptionist stepped aside to let him enter John's office first, he stole a quick glance. Sitting behind the desk, John did.not even rise to greet him. Teo gritted his teeth and walked in. In, out. Then he'd never have to see the man again. John nodded and gestured towards the chair in front of his desk, though he made no further attempts to make Teo comfortable. "Mr. Mendez. What can I do for you?" The chair was a hair too narrow for Teo to relax, so he focused on pulling out the checkbook he had tucked inside the envelope. "Mrs. Putnam passed along the information you sent to the house. I'd like to figure out a payment plan for me to pay you for the work you did." "I doubt you could afford me. Besides, this was between me and Ryan. If anybody owes me anything, it's him." "Whether or not I can afford you doesn't matter. This is my debt to pay, and I intend to do so. This is my family, not Ryan's." 227

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John narrowed his eyes, and Teo had a feeling the other man was studying every inch of him, inside and out. "Where is Ryan?" "Gone." Saying more was unnecessary. Teo didn't know anything more about Ryan's location, other than Clay mentioning he'd called once from wherever their brother Ty was. He did everything he could not to think about how he'd come back to the house to pick up Antonio the day after the big fight, to discover his son barely holding back tears because Ryan was gone. Antonio hadn't said anything more than monosyllables to Teo for three days afterward. It didn't take a genius to figure out he blamed Teo for Ryan's departure. "If you tell me how much, I can give you a check today," Teo said, trying to get the subject back on track. "I'm good for regular payments. Just ask Clay." John laughed. "Well, then, that's just funny. Especially after Ryan's big, noble declaration about how he'd rather stay on the ranch, knee-deep in horseshit. He should have just come home with me. Not that I'd take him back now." John was still chuckling as he pulled his calendar out of his drawer. "Let's see. It says here I spent six hours working on your case, at eight-five dollars an hour. So that's five hundred and ten dollars." Teo gritted his teeth. There was nothing funny at all about what had happened, and the fact John could laugh now made him want to flatten the man. "A hundred and fifty today all right? I can do that every paycheck, if that works for you." It 228

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would be tight, but he'd rather have to tighten his belt than stay indebted to John any longer than he had to be. "Considering I never expected to be paid for the work at all, that's fine. A check is better than what I thought I'd get out of the deal." He took the pen John offered and opened the checkbook on the edge of the desk. His mind scattered every which way as he scribbled out the amount. In the end, curiosity got the better of him. "I thought you and Ryan had an arrangement worked out. Starting with dinner." John shrugged. "Ryan insisted it would end with dinner, too. But knowing Ryan, I figured that part was negotiable. Give him a few compliments and a few drinks, and most things with him are." Teo frowned. "Ryan's not like that." "I think it's pretty clear that I know him a bit better than you do." "If you knew him so well, you would've known how important his family is to him. You wouldn't have insisted that the two of you move away otherwise." "I know exactly how important family is to Ryan. Which is why I spent an additional eight hours—which nobody is going to pay me for—researching adoptions and surrogacy and all the other crap he's been going on about for the past two years. It's also why I went up to the ranch to give him this news in the first place. I was willing to give Ryan everything he ever wanted." 229

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John wasn't saying much Teo didn't already know. He'd overheard plenty when they'd been standing on the other side of the stable door. And Clay had told him how Ryan had ripped into John after he'd left. Ryan had turned him down flat, even though it was exactly what he had been hoping for when he'd first moved out to the ranch. Somehow, hearing it stated so baldly made it sound different. "Too little, too late." Teo tore off the check and pushed it across the desk, rising to his feet. "Thank you for your time. Next check will be here in two weeks." "I just hope it makes you feel better." "Clearing a debt always feels good." "Even when it's not your debt? Do you go around with your checkbook after Christmas, too?" His eyes narrowed as he looked down at the other man. "It seems to me, we've all lost something with this business. I can't speak for Ryan, and I don't want to speak for you, but I'm not interested in letting it fester by dragging it out. You don't understand why I have to do this. That's fine. Ryan would, but he's not here to put it in terms you'd understand for me. So let's let it go." John leaned over and took a business card from the tray on his desk. "Fine with me. Here. Mail the checks to this address. You can talk to my secretary about validating your parking." "This clears anything you have with Ryan, too," Teo said, taking the card and slipping it into the envelope. 230

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"I think Ryan can contact me himself about what he does or doesn't owe me. Or, better yet, I'll be contacting him." Teo froze. "For what? He's done with you." "That's between me and Ryan, Mr. Mendez. I'm curious about one thing. Are you going to use that information you're paying so dearly for?" The same question had been buffeting around inside his head ever since Paige had given him first the folder John had brought that fateful day, then later the envelope that arrived in the post. He still didn't have an answer. He wasn't sure he was ready to face a second loss so soon after Ryan, in case Duena or Coraly refused to speak to him. John didn't need to know that. "Leave Ryan alone," he said, ignoring the question altogether. He retreated for the door. "He doesn't need more shit." "I'll just wait until he comes around again. Have a good day, Mr. Mendez." He fled before he took action he'd regret. Like breaking the bastard's nose. It would feel good for two seconds, but then he'd be back to exactly where he had been walking through the doors. Missing Ryan. Knowing it was over. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eighteen Every part of Teo ached. With August almost upon them, he had been up and out even before Clay, drenched in sweat by the time the sun had broken the horizon. In some ways, work made it all easier. He could shut off his brain and let his body take over, forget about the outside world to concentrate on the hard-packed soil, the fresh scent of animals, the weight of tools in his hands. His muscles might hate him at the end of the day, but it was nothing a good shower and solid sleep didn't fix, at least until the next morning when he rose and did it all over again. Working so much blocked out thoughts of how quiet his life was now. He hadn't realized just how much he relied on Ryan's company, how soothing it was to have his laughter in the background, to see his lean form standing next to Antonio out of the corner of his eye. He countered it by rising early, returning late, and going to bed at nearly the same time as his son. This was what he'd wanted, after all. It was time for him to enjoy it. At least Antonio was speaking to him again, though there was a wariness in his eyes that had never been there before. Teo blamed himself. He'd never talked to Antonio about the possibility of having someone new in their lives, someone who might take Carmen's place eventually. The talk about Ryan had gone over too well, in the end. Antonio had taken that friendship and let it blossom into something even more. 232

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Teo had taken that away. Now Antonio had to deal with learning how to cope with loss all over again. All his fears about what an awful father he was trampled back, harsher and louder than ever. He doubted even Ryan could explain this one away. Dusk had swallowed the sun by the time he made the walk from the stables to the main house. He was late getting back, but that simply meant Paige would feed Antonio for him. She had been a godsend since Ryan's departure, warm and reassuring without ever making him feel like he was putting her out. He'd even broken down and started calling her by her first name, much to Clay's amusement. "You were making her feel old," Clay had confided in a laugh the morning after Teo had used it the first time. "Trust me. You're doing all of us a big favor calling her Paige." A tan Taurus with out-of-state plates was parked outside the house, a car Teo didn't recognize. As he climbed the steps to the front porch, he tried to remember if Clay had mentioned something about having company that night, but failed. An impromptu guest, then. Either way, he needed to get Antonio home so their visit would be undisturbed. The unknown guest was sitting in the living room with Paige and the kids, but she stood as soon as she noticed him. Teo stopped in the doorway, his heart quickening. What had once been waist-length hair was shorn down to a simple, stylish cut. What had once been a girl's face was lined from sun and laughter. What had once been a slim, flat figure had developed into something matronly. Despite the changes, 233

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there was no mistaking the woman standing in front of him. And there was no mistaking the large, welcoming smile. "There he is. Hello, Teo." "Duena." His feet refused to move, but Antonio's worked perfectly fine. He leapt from where he'd perched on the edge of the couch and bounded to Teo's side. "So is it true?" It had been awhile since Antonio had looked up at him like this, this hopeful expectation, not since before Ryan's departure. Teo's heart twisted. "She said she's my aunt." Teo rested a hand on his shoulder. "She is." To Duena, "This is unexpected." "Unexpected for me, too. When I heard about Antonio, I wanted to come and visit. But I didn't know where you lived and Papa was no help. When Mr. Putnam called me..." She paused and wiped the corners of her eyes. "I couldn't believe my ears." Teo looked at Paige. "Why would Clay call?" Paige shook her head, but before she could answer, Duena cut in. "Oh, it wasn't Clay. It was Ryan. I was disappointed when he said he wouldn't be here. We talked on the phone a few times and exchanged some e-mails. He's a nice guy." He stood there, stunned. Ryan had done this. Ryan had taken the step he had been unable to make, taken the onus of being hurt by feeling Duena out himself. So many times, Teo had looked at the information John had found, and each time, he'd put it away, unsure he was ready to face that kind of rejection again. 234

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Ryan had done this for him. Even though they weren't together anymore. "So he didn't ... come with you?" he asked carefully. "Oh, no. I was surprised when he told me he was calling me from Nevada of all places." She smiled. "I drove up here from New Mexico with my boys, Manny and Cisco. I promised them they could see horses." "Clay took them down to the stables so you two could have a chance to visit." Antonio looked at him with bright eyes. "Can I go down to the barn, Dad? I want to show them Clover." "Sure." He still found it hard to look away from Duena, like she was a phantom that would vanish with a wrong breath. "Come back to the cottage when you're done. Your Aunt Duena and I will be there." With a grin, Antonio scampered off, showing more enthusiasm than he'd exhibited in weeks. Teo jerked his head toward the doorway. "Would you like a cup of coffee or something?" Duena smiled. "I think it's too warm for coffee." She followed him out the backdoor and looked around with a pleased expression. "This place is really amazing. I couldn't believe you had made it so far north, though you know Papa never really let us have any news about where you were. My poor kids are so used to the desert, they didn't know what to think of all this green." Her chatter didn't stop as they walked, or once they reached the cottage. "Oh, Teo, this house is so cute. And cozy." She pointed a framed photograph. "Is that Antonio's mother?" 235

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Nodding, Teo picked it up and handed it over to her. "Her name was Carmen. She passed away a few years ago." He paused. "I still can't believe you're here. I didn't think..." Abruptly, he turned on his heel and headed for the kitchen, wiping surreptitiously at his eyes. "Would you like an iced tea instead?" "I'd love some iced tea." Duena followed him into the kitchen and touched his arm as he reached for the fridge. "I know you've never been one for hugs, but I think I need one from my big brother." His gaze dropped to her fingers. She still had the scar from when Coraly had slammed her pinky in the car door. The memory made the tears that had already threatened him once burn, and he pulled her abruptly into his arms, squeezing his eyes shut as he crushed her to his chest. "I never thought I'd see you again," he confessed. "I know." Her words were wet with the tears she had been fighting when she saw him. "I should have tried harder to find you. I wanted you to meet my boys. I wanted to know Antonio. I was worried about how Papa would react if he knew ... which is stupid, I know." "No, no, I understand. I grew up in that house, too." He didn't want to let her go. "But you're good? You're happy?" "Yes." She didn't seem to be in a hurry to let him go either. "We're all good. Corrie just finished getting her art degree. Nardo is engaged to somebody you'd love. They were a little afraid you wouldn't want to see them." She leaned back and offered a watery smile. "I told them I'd test the waters." 236

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Teo swallowed against the tightness of his throat. It seemed ridiculous to consider that they'd be nervous about contacting him; he was the one who'd been cast out. He would have welcomed them at any point, without question, without hesitation. To think they feared him holding their opinions over their heads was boggling. "I'm not any different," he said. "Yes, I married Carmen, but ... I don't know what Ryan told you, but he and I were ... involved." Duena shook her head. "Ryan never mentioned anything like that. He just said that he knew you because you worked for his brother." She squeezed his arms. "But I don't care about that. Papa and Mama ... I won't lie to you. They still care. But we were just kids, Teo. We didn't know any better." "I don't want to make things hard for you with them. If Papa finds out you came to see me..." "Papa is an old man and I'm a grown woman. Don't worry about making things more difficult for me. Or for any of us." Teo snorted and finally let her go. "All I've ever done is worry about you lot. You're far too good at getting into trouble." Duena laughed. "You have no idea. It was a long time before any of us could settle down in anything like a respectable life. And here you were in Montana the whole time, doing everything Papa could ask for from a son." Wiping away the tears that lingered in his eyes, Teo set to pouring out the iced tea he'd promised her. "How much did Ryan tell you?" He shot her a half-smile. "I'd hate to bore you with the same stories twice." 237

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"He didn't really tell me a lot. He said he found my name and realized that I must have been your sister. He said that you were working for his brother on the Good Fortune ranch, and that you have a son." Duena smiled a little. "He actually said you had the greatest kid he ever met. The rest of the conversations were just about how I would get up to Montana, when I planned to visit, things like that." Teo was torn at her response. Part of him was grateful to Ryan for respecting his privacy, for not taking away the joy of being able to tell Duena his stories himself. But part of him was hurt that Ryan had glossed over their relationship. It was his own fault, he knew. He had let Ryan walk away, and he'd done nothing in the interim to contact him. But it stung a little, nonetheless. "Ryan's the one who taught Antonio how to ride." He opened the freezer to take out the ice tray. "Did he tell you he was a math teacher?" "Yes. When he was explaining that I could trust him, he gave me all sorts of references to confirm his identity. It was a little overwhelming at first, being contacted like that by a stranger out of the blue." Duena frowned. "If you were involved, and he was that close to Antonio, why is he in Nevada?" The ice clinked against the glass as he dropped in the cubes, and he pondered his response as he handed it to her. "We broke up. A few weeks ago." "He contacted me after you broke up? I guess that would explain why he said he couldn't be here." She accepted the glass and took a long sip. "God, I can't believe how much we 238

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have to get caught up on. I want to know everything I missed." "How long are you staying?" "I didn't want to impose myself on you. But the kids don't start school for another two weeks, and I've got a week of vacation accrued. I have to consider driving time, so we could stay for three or four days." Teo's smile widened. "Well, it might not be enough time to fill you in on everything you've missed, but it'll be a good start." It would be. And he owed it all to Ryan. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Nineteen Sitting in a hot, stuffy trailer and playing solitaire was not Ryan's idea of a good time. He didn't even have any beer. Ty promised to bring some back to the trailer when he returned from the Good Fortune, but in the meantime, Ryan was forced to sip on ice water from the freezer. Ty had a pretty good collection of DVDs. Unfortunately, Ryan had seen them all. And read all the books he had with him. So that left game after game of cards. He had, very selfishly, begged Ty not to leave him alone for a whole day and night. But Ty wouldn't budge. The most he would agree to was unhitching his truck from the trailer so Ryan could stay a respectable distance from the ranch. He supposed he couldn't complain too much. The trailer park where Ty had stopped was pretty cheap, and mostly quiet. He supposed there were worse ways to spend the weekend. Like dodging Teo and trying to hide from Tony. He didn't want to see Teo at all. He really wanted to see Tony, but he didn't want to go through the heartbreak of saying goodbye to the boy again. If he had to spend a weekend baking to death in Ty's trailer to avoid that discomfort, then that's exactly what he would do. He had heard from Ty that Duena had showed up at the Good Fortune. She had stayed for four days, and she and her boys were a big hit with everybody on the ranch. Hearing that news had cheered Ryan considerably. Even if Teo hated him for meddling in his life again, he was reconciled with his 240

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family. Ryan wished he could have met Duena. He wished he could have seen Teo's face. He wished Tony could tell him about his newfound cousins. Ryan turned over the three of clubs and swore under his breath. The damned card he needed was buried somewhere, and he was never going to find it. With a sigh, he gathered up the cards, shuffled, and dealt them again. Ty thought he was utterly ridiculous. But Ty was a brat, and what did he know about it, anyway? It took him over a year before he was able to crawl back to the ranch and see Paige again. Surely Ryan deserved more than a few weeks? A tap on the door pulled him from the game. Ryan hoped it wasn't anybody inviting him to a cook-out, or a picnic, or one of those parties around a campfire that seemed to be so common anywhere more than three RVs could be found. He wasn't in the mood to be social. But it wasn't one of his road-warrior neighbors. He recognized the black cowboy hat before he saw Teo's face. It was too late to pretend he wasn't there. And his truck was parked just a few feet away. He pulled the flimsy door open and tensed, bracing himself for whatever Teo could want with him. His black eyes swept over Ryan once, then swept back up again, as if he had missed something on the first pass down. When they met Ryan's, they weren't unyielding as he had feared. In fact, they seemed almost tender, but he thought that had to be a trick of his overheated imagination. "May I come in?" Teo asked. 241

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Ryan wanted to tell him no. He didn't want to be cornered. He especially didn't want to be cornered if Teo was just going to tell him more reasons why he couldn't be trusted. But it didn't seem likely that Teo would drive all that way just to pick another fight. "Sure." Ryan stepped back, giving Teo enough room to enter. It was crowded enough in the trailer when it was him and Ty. With Teo, there was suddenly no room to navigate as he filled the space doing nothing more than standing there. He gave the place a cursory glance, then turned back to Ryan, the same inquisitive look on his face as when Ryan had opened the door. "You didn't come out to the ranch." "No." Ryan gestured at the small table. "I had serious plans to play cards. I figured that was for the best." "Not if I wanted to see you. I was hoping to get a chance to thank you." Ryan's skin felt tight. Gratitude wasn't what he expected, and it was a pretty good sign that Teo wasn't going to follow up his statement with anger. "For what?" he asked carefully. "Calling Duena?" Teo nodded. "I haven't seen Antonio that happy since before you left. And you gave that to him." The corner of his mouth lifted. "You gave it to both of us." "Well, I figured you'd refuse to use the information on principle. I thought if I could get Duena in contact with you, things would be easier from there. Of course, there was a huge chance that something would go horribly wrong, but ... 242

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well, Ty said it was a good idea to just go through with the plan." "It was a good idea." A bead of sweat began to roll down Teo's temple. Taking his handkerchief from his jeans pocket, he wiped it away, then cast a look around. "If you don't mind the company, I'd like to stay awhile," he said, not meeting Ryan's eyes. "There's things I think we need to talk about." Ryan didn't know if he liked the sound of that. They had already talked. How much more did they have to say? Even so, he nodded at the long bench. "Go ahead and sit down. I've got some cold water if you're thirsty. Nothing else, though." Teo didn't sit. "Do you want to go out, then? I haven't eaten. We could get some supper, some cold beers." Ryan blinked. He wasn't sure what Teo was playing at. There seemed to be more reason to hope and less reason to be cautious, but Ryan didn't want to set himself up for more pain. "Um. Yeah. There's a place just down the road. Ty ate there last night. He said it's not too bad." The look of relief on Teo's face was undeniable. "Okay. Good. Let's go." Ryan followed Teo out to his truck, and realized Teo expected him to settle in the passenger side. He assured himself that if he could stand to be in Ty's tiny trailer with Teo, he could handle the cabin of the truck. But it was worse. It reminded him of their first date. Of the way he rode all the way to town with his thigh pressed against Teo's. He had known how he felt about Teo that night. 243

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He turned his head, pretending to be interested in the scenery outside the window so Teo couldn't see his face. "So did Clay give everybody the day off because the prodigal son returned?" "Oh, Ty? Hardly, there's too much to do. Paige was cooking up a storm when I left and Antonio was doing everything he could to get in her way." "Oh. Makes sense. Ty lives off of rodeo cheeseburgers and dollar tacos. It's appalling." Ryan licked his lips. "Why did Clay let you leave, then?" "Because I told him I wanted to see you." Teo paused, the only sounds the rumble of the concrete beneath the tires for several seconds. "If I could've gotten away for more than a day, I would've come out to Nevada to see you after Duena and the boys left. Though maybe I might've called first then." "You would have had to call." Ryan's throat felt raw. "Ty was dragging me all over the damned place. I had no idea there were so many rodeos in that state." Ryan finally glanced at him. "Okay, the tension is killing me. Why do you want to see me?" Teo met his eyes. "Because I owe you an apology. And because I miss you. Every damn minute of the day." The bottom dropped out of his stomach. Ryan swallowed. "That's ... that's not quite what I expected to hear." "I know." He dropped his hand between them, but the slight reach he made toward Ryan was halted, his fingers instead coming to rest on the seat. "I should have stopped you that night. Asked for time to let it all process. I didn't think you'd leave." 244

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"I couldn't stay, Teo. I couldn't..." Ryan ran his hand over his face. "I couldn't deal with seeing you every day and knowing that you ... what you thought of me." "I was hurt, and I was angry, and I don't do good with my emotions at the best of times. All I can say is, I'm sorry I overreacted. And for letting you go. Nothing's been the same without you." Ryan was silent for a long beat. He hadn't expected this. He hadn't expected any of this. He didn't have a response ready. He had a response for the accusation of meddling. He had a response lined up for Teo if he told Ryan to just keep his nose out of his business. But he didn't have anything for this. "I ... Jesus, Teo, it's been killing me. Being away from you and Tony. It's been horrible. Every day." The restaurant loomed in the distance, but when Teo pulled into the lot, he parked as far from the door as he could get. Killing the engine, he shifted in the seat to better face Ryan, and the blaze he saw burning in Teo's eyes shot through him. "What you did, calling Duena, giving that to me and Antonio ... nobody has ever done anything like that for me before. But what got me is knowing you did it because you just wanted me to be happy. You wanted me to have that, even if you weren't around to appreciate it." Resting his arm along the back of the seat put his fingers in close proximity to Ryan's neck, and Teo angled his hand now in order to caress the nape. "I don't deserve it, but I'd like us to have another chance." 245

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Ryan closed his eyes, shivering with each soft stroke of Teo's thumb over his skin. Teo was asking him for a second chance. And he sounded like he didn't think the answer was already a foregone conclusion. "Well, I think you deserve it." Teo's exhalation was long and low. "Nobody makes me feel like you do. Duena coming out to the ranch taught me one thing. Life's too short not to try for what you want. And I want you and me. I want to see Antonio smile again because you're home. I want to come home at the end of the day, and fall into bed because you're there, not because I've worked myself into the ground, trying to forget you're not." The back of Ryan's eyes stung, and he slid across the seat, closer to Teo. Everything was cramped and awkward, their limbs too long to fit comfortably, but Ryan didn't care. He curled his arm around Teo's neck in a close embrace. His heart beat too fast and his pulse jumped in his throat. Teo returned the embrace, his hand solid against Ryan's back. "I want that, too. I want to go home. I've been running all over Nevada and Wyoming and Utah and Idaho, and it doesn't matter where I go. I can't stop thinking about you, and missing you." Warm lips skimmed over his neck. His breath caught when Teo reached his ear, and he turned in time to feel them run along his jaw. "Does this place do takeout?" Teo's thumb drew hard circles in the small of Ryan's back, tantalizingly close to his waistband yet too far away to be intrusive. "I'd like ... can we have some time alone? To talk, just to be with each other?" 246

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"Yeah." Ryan didn't want to move. The musky, sweet smell of Teo's skin made him heady. "There's a hotel at the freeway, too. It might be nice to have a room with airconditioning." "Just for a few hours." Teo finally let him go, cupping Ryan's face to keep him still as his mouth bent for a kiss. It was tentative and far too fleeting, not an indication of passion but of something else, something better. Ryan reached to grip Teo's wrist, finding anchorage when it felt like the world would careen around him, and continued to hold on after Teo pulled back. "Home has air-conditioning, too," he said. "And the sooner I get you there, the happier I'm going to be." "Me, too." He knew they'd both be happier once they made it back to the ranch, but he also knew he needed some time with Teo before the too long drive back to the Good Fortune. "But I need at least a few hours alone with you." A flash of a brilliant smile, and then Teo was pulling the keys out of the ignition, getting ready to get out. "Which is why I'm not hauling your ass back now. I could always park behind the house and sneak in, but all it takes is for someone's eagle eye to spot us and then we'll have Antonio spoiling the reunion." He jerked his thumb toward the restaurant. "Let's get the food and get out of here." The ground tilted beneath Ryan's feet when he got out of the truck. He didn't think he was hungry, but if Teo wanted to get food, he wouldn't protest. His hand itched to touch Teo, even if it was just to fold his fingers in the other man's, but 247

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he kept his hands to himself. He could wait to do that until they had a bit more privacy. "Is Antonio okay?" Ryan asked before they reached the restaurant door. "He's been good ever since Duena showed up with her boys." He held the door open for Ryan, waiting for him to enter first. Inside the restaurant, it was dark and cool, smoke and beer bottles clinking together inviting Ryan to stay. "Before that, I got a taste of what it's going to be like when he's a teenager and thinks I'm full of shit." "I'm sorry. I told him I was just going to go visit Ty for awhile, but I don't think he believed me." Probably because he was a mess when he left, and Tony was a bright boy. Teo shrugged as he picked up a battered menu that might've been new in the seventies. "Not your fault. I'm the one who let you go. I'm the one who deserved the heat." Ryan glanced over his own menu, and found the standard offerings for that sort of place. He figured a burger and fries would satisfy his nearly non-existent hunger. "So everything really did go okay with Duena? I thought things might when I talked to her." "Great. Better than I ever dreamed." Teo stuck the menu back into the holder and rattled off his order to the girl at the counter, waiting for Ryan to do the same. After paying, he turned and leaned against the edge, regarding him thoughtfully. "Why didn't you tell her the whole story?" Ryan hadn't taken the phone call lightly. During the long drives from event to event, he carefully scripted and 248

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rehearsed exactly what he should say. He didn't want to lie to Duena, but he didn't want to reveal too much, either. "Because I didn't think you'd want me to. I didn't think it was any of my business. If you wanted to talk to her about ... what happened, then that was up to you. It didn't seem like it would have any bearing on me." "She likes you. She was disappointed you weren't around." "I like her, too. But I doubt she was too disappointed. She didn't drive all the way to Montana to see me, after all." "We'll just have to make it up to her on her next trip." Clint Black drifted from the overhead speakers, filling the silence for several minutes. Under other circumstances, it might have been uncomfortable, but this felt like too many other silences in a quiet dawn, when it was just him and Teo and knowledge that words weren't entirely necessary. Ryan was content to just stand there at his side, feeling the nearby warmth of his arm in spite of the chilly air-conditioning. When their food arrived, Teo led the way back out to the truck, not speaking until they were settled in the privacy of the cab again. "The Academy called not long after you left. Offering the job." "Oh, did they? Did Paige tell them that I ran off to join the rodeo?" Teo snorted. "No. But she seemed to think they were going to hold the job open until they heard from you. They really wanted you." "I'll call them to see if they're still holding it. I hope they aren't, though. I hope they found somebody else they like." 249

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Casting him a cautious glance, Teo pulled out of the parking lot and back onto the road. "You're going to give up teaching?" "If I take the job, I'll have to live in town, at least during the week." "True. But what if there were other jobs? Like in the school district Antonio will get bussed into. Would you want to do it if it was closer?" "Sure. If the district offered me my position back at either of the high schools, I'd take it. But that's unlikely to happen in the near future, since they let me go because they didn't have enough money." "Oh. Okay. That's good, then." "Why?" "Because I know what teaching means to you." Teo kept his eyes on the road ahead, but reached across to rest a heavy hand on Ryan's thigh. "I don't want you to ever think you have to give up something important to you just because of me." Ryan looked at Teo's hand. His fingers were dark from the time he spent outside, and rough from the years of work. Ryan really loved Teo's hands. "That's not ... that's not possible. There's nothing more important to me than you." Teo squeezed, hard enough to make Ryan's cock jump. "I'm not good at remembering to say it, but I do love you. Don't forget that. Even when I'm being a son of a bitch." "I won't forget it." Ryan covered Teo's hand. "Even if you never remember to say it again, I won't forget it." He leaned 250

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over and kissed Teo's jaw, unmindful of the bags of food between them. "You're not a son of a bitch." "I can be." He paused. "Live with me twenty-four hours a day, and you'll see it soon enough." "Is that an invitation?" "If you want it to be." The hand on his lap drifted higher, tracing the outline of his semi-hard shaft. "It's never the same without you." Ryan wanted to straddle Teo and cover him with his mouth. He wanted to touch him everywhere. He wanted to show him, wanted to give Teo something other than words. He supposed he probably would have if Teo wasn't driving so fast. "Only if you let me tell Clay that he's got to bring those cottages up to code, at least." Teo finally smiled. "Better you than me. I already had to deal with his warnings when I left the house." Ryan felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin by the time the hotel came into view. Teo still caressed him through his pants. It was almost, but not quite, enough to make Ryan insane. Still, he wouldn't ask Teo to stop or push his hand away. He was too hungry for the contact, too starved for it. Even though his throat felt tight and words were an awkward fit in his mouth, Ryan was the one who approached the front desk and paid for a room. It only took a few seconds to give his credit card and take the key. By the time Ryan let them into the room, he felt twitchy. Not just twitchy. The room was cool—chilly even—but just standing near Teo made him flushed and a little sweaty. 251

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"Do you ... want to eat first?" Ryan asked when Teo shut the door behind him. The bags rustled where Teo set them on the chair. "Not yet," he heard in the space of time it took Teo to pull him hard against his chest. The air crushed from his lungs from how tightly Teo clung to him. Lips moved across his temple. "I need this first." Then Teo was kissing him, really kissing him, not the caress from the car or a dream he'd had the night before. His tongue pushed past Ryan's defenses, seeking out what Ryan was so ready to give, and his fingers bruised where he cupped Ryan's ass. It was unrelenting and ravenous, leaving both of them shaking by the time Teo pulled back to gasp for air. Ryan studied him, memorizing each detail of his face at that moment. It only lasted for a beat, and then he wrapped his arms around Teo and found his mouth again. The kiss was slower this time, but just as ravenous. Ryan didn't want it to stop. Teo's mouth was as firm as he remembered, as hot, as demanding. Even though Teo was there, holding him, he still ached at the thought of how much he had missed this. Did he really think he could survive without Teo? His lips tingled and his lungs burned by the time they broke apart again. "Your burger is going to get cold," Teo said, his voice rasping over Ryan's skin like a cat's tongue. Ryan didn't step back. "I don't care. I really don't care." "I didn't bring you here because I expected to fuck. I just wanted some time alone." 252

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If Teo wanted to cool Ryan down, that was the perfect way to do it. Teo wanted a second chance and had clearly forgiven him, but maybe he still didn't trust Ryan's motives completely. His arms fell away and he turned back to the table. "Right. Yeah. You're probably hungry anyway." Teo caught his wrist. "That doesn't mean I don't want to. I just ... I know we should take this slow. With the fight and all. I don't want you to think I'm not taking this seriously." Ryan knew he shouldn't go back to the ranch until the air between them was completely clear. Which meant he couldn't let the subject drop with a shrug and a dismissive no problem. "I don't want you to think that I'm just with you because of the sex." Teo's brows drew into a thick line. "I don't ... oh." Color appeared in his cheeks, and he dropped Ryan's arm, running his hand over his head in embarrassment as he stepped back. "What I said before you left. That wasn't about you. I know this isn't about the sex for you. You wouldn't have paved the way with Duena for me if it was. But what I said ... that was about me, and how much I didn't think you'd want me around if it wasn't for the sex." "Teo ... I wanted to spend every second with you that I could. And that's when I thought you were straight." "You were lonely." "You weren't the only person I knew on the ranch. There's Clay. Paige. The kids. Christ, I grew up with Cody. I had plenty of company, if I wanted it. But our morning rides were the highlight of my day, because it was time spent with you." 253

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Some of the tension in Teo's face eased, and he sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. "I never said it was completely rational. But look at it from my perspective for a second. I dropped out of high school. You have a college degree. I spent my days with horses, working the land. You spent yours with kids, teaching them things I couldn't figure out with a calculator. Is it so hard to believe that I'd go straight to the one thing I knew I could do right for you?" Ryan hesitated for a moment, then settled on the bed beside Teo. He took his hands and squeezed lightly. "Not everybody can work on a ranch. I can't. Not like you. And it's in my blood. Imagine the look of horror on my father's face when I informed him I was going to Denver, of all places, for college. You're raising an amazing kid. For all the time I've spent teaching them, I sometimes doubt I could ever raise one. So it's not so hard to believe you'd go straight to that one thing, but don't do it again. Because it's not right." Teo's assessing gaze warmed him through before he nodded. "I won't. Clean slate from here on out." "Clean slate," Ryan agreed softly, dipping his head to brush his lips across Teo's. A shiver went down his spine at the contact, and he couldn't resist letting his mouth linger for a moment, more relieved than anything that he could touch Teo like this again. Teo released his hand to cup the back of his head, fingertips caressing as he returned the kiss. "How about I feed you those fries?" he murmured. Ryan smiled. "That's one way to get me to focus on eating something other than you." 254

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Brushing his thumb across Ryan's lower lip, Teo gazed at it for several seconds before growling and rising to his feet. "You make it very easy to remember how badly I want to spread you out on my bed. I'm even thinking of tying you to it to make sure you don't leave it again." Ryan leaned back on his hands. He knew if he stood up, he'd just have to touch Teo again. "I seem to recall you promising me just that before. It's supposed to be our second date, right?" "Maybe it should be our new first date. Post clean slate." He rummaged around in the sack and drew out the Styrofoam container with Ryan's dinner. "Never say I don't follow through on my promises." "I'd never say that." Ryan let his eyes linger on Teo's body. It would take some time before he could really fully comprehend that Teo loved him. Wanted to be with him. Was his. He knew he was probably grinning like an idiot, but he didn't care. "Good. Now let's eat." Teo sat sideways next to him, his bent knee effectively separating their bodies. Dipping a thick fry into the ketchup, he held it out and fed it to Ryan, just as he said he was going to do. His gaze fixed on Ryan's mouth as he chewed, and as soon as Ryan swallowed, Teo leaned forward and dragged his tongue along the corner of his lips. "Ketchup," he said in explanation. Ryan obediently opened his mouth again. Teo brought another fry to his mouth, but he moved at the last second, 255

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letting more of the ketchup smear on his lips before biting the fry from Teo's fingers. Teo affected a stern frown. "You're doing that on purpose." "I'm not." The tip of his tongue darted out to gather the ketchup, and he grinned. "See? I cleaned it up myself." Rather than get another fry, Teo touched his thumb to Ryan's mouth again, his gaze growing wistful. "It's so good to see your smile. You have no idea how happy it makes me knowing I get to wake up to it every morning." Ryan parted his lips far enough to suck the tip of Teo's thumb into his mouth. "Trust me, if I get to wake up next to you, I'll be smiling every morning and every night. And probably in my sleep, too." Teo's kiss didn't surprise him, though the tremble in the other man's lower lip did. When he pulled away, Teo was already setting aside the food in order to reach for Ryan's waist, pulling him further up the bed so that they could stretch out side by side. "Forget the food," he said. "Forget any more apologies, or explanations, or misunderstandings we're both being dumb about." His hand curved around Ryan's hip, tugging him closer. "I just want to feel you. See you. Know you're really here, and everything is going to be okay now." Ryan molded his body against Teo's. His groin was tight, but that was just a result of being near Teo. At that moment, he just wanted exactly what Teo suggested. He just wanted to know he was there, with Teo, and there wasn't anywhere else he needed to be. He rested his head on Teo's shoulder and let the other man wash over his senses. 256

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"Everything is going to be okay," Ryan murmured. "Thanks for coming for me." "I'll always come for you." Tightening his arms, he pressed his mouth to Ryan's temple in a long kiss. "Always." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty It was after ten when they pulled up in front of the cottage. In the passenger seat, Ryan hummed under his breath, his fingers absently stroking along Teo's thigh as he parked the truck. His hand had been there from the time they left the hotel until they got back to Ty's trailer to pick up Ryan's stuff, then again from the trailer to the ranch. It had made driving very difficult. It had made talking to Clay even more so. "I'm bringing Ryan home," Teo had said. He shot Ryan a frown when his fingertips strayed toward Teo's cock. "Everything good?" "Everything's great." "Want us to keep Tony for the night?" Teo bit back the groan when Ryan caressed the head through his jeans. "That would be great. We'll come get him at breakfast. He's going to be excited to know Ryan's home." Clay had chuckled over the line. "Something tells me, he's not the only one. Drive safe." That had been forty-five minutes earlier. Now, Teo was hard as a rock, all he could smell was Ryan, and his front door still looked too far away. "Leave it," he said when Ryan reached for a suitcase in the back. Grabbing his wrist, he hauled him toward the cottage. "There's a second date we need to have." "First date," Ryan corrected with a chuckle, but he walked quickly, keeping up with Teo's long strides. 258

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He had no doubts Ryan had teased him on purpose, but hell if he was going to let anything stop them now. The screen bumped his shoulder as he tried to unlock the door with one hand, making him grunt in frustration until Ryan stepped up to help him. The moment the inner door swung open, Teo pulled him through, kicking it shut behind him the split second before he shoved Ryan into the wall. "Do you want the rope?" He ground his cock into Ryan's stomach, glad when it made the other man gasp. "Because I think you deserve to be spread-eagled and helpless, considering what you did to me for the past two hours." Their faces were so close, he felt Ryan's warm breath across his cheek. "Whether or not it's what I deserve, I think I've earned it." The sudden image of Ryan begging him made Teo growl, and he slammed their mouths together, unable to wait any longer for another taste. For whatever reason, kissing was better now. More satisfying. He'd loved losing himself in Ryan's kisses before, but now, knowing they had their futures stretched out side by side in front of them, knowing he'd have him to hold and love no matter the hours of the day, made them even better. He bit at Ryan's lower lip, then soothed it over with his tongue. "Go get naked," he ordered. "I have to get the rope." Ryan was still grinning when he slid away from the wall and disappeared into the bedroom. Teo heard his zipper opening, and then the rustle of his shirt sliding from his shoulders. The sound sent another sharp pang of desire through him. That was enough to prompt him to move, and 259

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he stepped out the kitchen door to grab the length of rope coiled on the porch. It was rough and dry. It might chafe a little against Ryan's wrists, but he would make sure Ryan didn't even notice. By the time he entered the bedroom, Ryan was naked, sitting up on the bed with his back against the headboard. Teo drank him in, the long cock resting hard against his stomach, the tight muscles along his shoulders, the smile that still lingered on his mouth. His pulse leapt when he reached Ryan's eyes, though. He didn't think he'd ever seen them so clear, and it took a moment for Teo to realize what else was different. The haunted shadows were completely gone. He coiled the rope around one hand as he came around the end of the bed. "If I'd known you'd enjoy this so much, I would've done it a hell of a lot sooner." "If I had known that all it took was two solid hours of torment, I would have done that a hell of a lot..." His words were cut off by Teo grabbing his left foot and pulling him down the mattress until he was flat on his back. "Sooner." Teo prowled along the edge until he came to the head. Taking Ryan's wrist, he guided his hand to the headboard, curling the fingers around the posts. He did the same with the second, and when Ryan was holding on, he wound the rope around and through, up and over, refusing the indulgence of taunting the other man with words. He tugged on the rope when he was done, testing its strength. "How does that feel?" 260

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"Like I'm not going anywhere." The good humor still lurked in his eyes, but his tone was more serious. He wiggled his hands a little, but the rope didn't budge. "Definitely not going anywhere." Teo dragged his hand down Ryan's arm, soaking in the heat. "I'm not going to do your feet." He circled a flat nipple, watching it pucker before his eyes. "I want you wrapping your legs around me when I pound into your ass." Ryan watched as Teo continued to trace his nipple with the tip of his finger, his lips parted, his chest already moving faster. "I think I'm going to regret not being able to move." His tongue darted out. "I haven't really touched you in a long time." "You'll get your chance. I didn't bring you home not to have your hands on me, too." His hand moved lower, across ribs, down his abdomen, stopping at the tip of Ryan's cock. A line of pre-come connected it to his stomach, and Teo rubbed the small pool into his skin, bringing his wet fingers up to his mouth when he was done. He licked them clean, smiling softly as Ryan watched him with obvious hunger. "So how many times should I make you come before I untie you?" he mused. "I'm thinking at least three." Ryan made a choked, gasping sound. "Three? You're going to have me raw before you're done." Despite his words, Ryan didn't look put-out by the prospect. Teo took a step away from the bed. "I could always not let you come at all..." 261

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"No, no." Ryan lifted from the bed as much as he could. "Three is a good number." He couldn't help but smile. "And just to show you I'm not so terrible, we'll make the first one easy for you." He took his time coming back to the edge of the mattress, resting one knee next to Ryan's hip. Leaning forward, he tickled his fingers down Ryan's rigid length, stroking around his sac once before gripping him at the base. Teo tilted it away from his body. Already, he was salivating. This first time was going to be good for the both of them, he thought as he bent down and sucked the tip hard into his mouth. "It kills me when you do this..." Ryan took a deep breath. "Please don't stop." One firm hand on Ryan's hip kept him from rocking against the mattress as he pressed his tongue against Ryan's hot, salty skin. Pre-come hit his tongue, prompting him to suck harder on the crown and tease more from the slit. Without lifting his head, he glanced up to see the rope already tightening around Ryan's wrists as he pulled against it. A thin sheen of sweat reflected the golden light off Ryan's tan skin. Teo paused. His. Ryan was his. This beautiful, giving man had turned himself over to Teo without hesitation, with love neither of them could deny, and it rocked Teo to his very core that he had another shot at such happiness. He wouldn't fail Ryan. He would do whatever it took to protect him, to give him a future that he deserved. The vein running down the length of the shaft pulsed against Teo's tongue. With a groan, Teo dropped his jaw 262

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further and slid down, not stopping even when the tip hit the back of his throat. "Teo..." It was just a whisper, until Teo swallowed around Ryan's head, letting his throat constrict around the sensitive tip. Then Ryan's whisper turned into a shout. It echoed off the walls, and the room's low ceiling, and in Teo's ears. "Shouting ... okay?" He didn't want to have to pull off to reply, but he knew Ryan needed to hear the answer, if only because Teo had told him so many times not to. "As loud as you want to." "Oh, good. Good. Good." Each word came out on a soft puff of air as Teo lowered his head and moved his lips around Ryan's shaft once again. He hummed a little bit, the vibrations moving from the roof of his mouth and down Ryan's cock. His flesh seemed to move in response, jerking against Teo's tongue, twitching with more pre-come. Ryan's second shout rolled through the room as soon as Teo's throat flexed around Ryan's cock again. As tempting as it was to draw this out, Teo knew if they were going to hit three orgasms before the bonds came off, this first one had to come hard and fast. He started a steady suck up and down Ryan's length, swallowing him on each pass. Closing his eyes, he let the heat soak through his skin, inhaling the musky scent every time his nose was buried in the coarse hair at the base. It was enough to make him feel high, floating on the thrum of desire as he slipped his hand between Ryan's thighs. 263

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His fingers traced the hot crease. Up. Down. Up. Down. Each caress matched the rhythm of his mouth. Each touch made Ryan cry out just a little bit louder. "Teo ... Teo ... God ... please ... I'm almost..." Ryan's body seemed to vibrate beneath Teo's touch, his muscles taut, his skin slick. Teo thought he could absorb that energy, soak it right into his body. He pushed a finger into Ryan's ass, but only enough to make him clench, only enough to tease him with the promise of more. Each shout from Ryan was punctuated with a new word until his voice completely shattered. That was Teo's only warning before Ryan's hips jerked and his come coated the back of Teo's tongue. Teo moaned at the taste. Without hesitating, he slid back up, letting Ryan shoot into his mouth, and swallowed down the salty-sweet strings that filled it. His lashes fluttered shut, his free hand digging into Ryan's hip to push him back to the mattress, but he didn't stay there for long. As soon as Ryan stopped fighting him, as soon as his cock stopped pulsing, Teo pulled off. The still-hard length flopped against Ryan's stomach. Neither cared. Teo's sole objective was to crush his mouth to Ryan's. Ryan moaned into the kiss, his lips parting without hesitation, his tongue sliding against Teo's. Ryan returned the caress like he was pouring all his desire into it. If Ryan could touch him, Teo had no doubt his hands would be as hard and hungry as his mouth. He pushed into the corners of Teo's mouth, moaning again when Teo began to ease back. He tried to follow him, but was thwarted by the short rope. 264

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"One down." Teo bent his head to lap at the sweat slicking Ryan's neck. "Two to go." Ryan groaned, tilting his head to expose more of his throat. "That sounded almost like a warning." Teo only grunted. Speaking would mean tearing his mouth away, and damn if he was going to do that now. Nibbling at the taut muscle, Teo let his hand drift back down Ryan's body, this time taking its time to explore. He found a spot on his side he hadn't discovered before, one that made Ryan twist away and giggle as he begged him to stop. There was a small scar on his hip, a tiny ridge no more than an inch long, and he stroked it back and forth for long seconds before finally indulging his curiosity. "How did you get this?" He sat up in order to take a closer look. It was pale and slightly ragged, evidence of age more than anything else. "Another souvenir from having so many brothers?" "What?" Ryan twisted to look. "Oh. When I was about six or seven, I convinced Clay to let me ride a sheep. It tossed me off and trampled me pretty good. Never knew how strong a sheep was before that." Teo knew he shouldn't, but he laughed anyway. "Know what else I'm looking forward to, now that you're back?" He pressed a kiss to the scar before crawling back up the length of Ryan's body. "Getting to hear all these stories." Ryan strained forward and skimmed his lips over Teo's jaw. "You'll just be horrified at all the trouble I found." "As long as you don't help Antonio find it, too, I think we'll be okay." 265

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"My biggest problems were a soft-hearted older brother, and a baby brother who doesn't have a cautious bone in his body. So I'm sure he'll be fine." Teo nuzzled Ryan's cheek, taking a moment to simply glory in the scent and feel of him. His own body ached for release, but he could be patient for a little while longer. Long enough to savor him, at least. "He thinks of you as family, you know. He was so angry with me for breaking us up." Ryan's leg curled around Teo's. "I'm glad. Not glad he was angry at you. But ... I think of him as family, too. He's not mine, but I love him." Satisfaction washed through him. If ever he needed proof that Ryan fit, that he fit perfectly, this was it. Nobody had ever loved Antonio as much as Teo did, not until Ryan came along. His boy deserved only the best. Ryan was it. "I think I need to get out of these clothes," he murmured. He dropped one last kiss to the corner of Ryan's mouth and peeled himself away. It took great effort to rise from the bed, but the adoring gaze Ryan leveled made it worth it. "We never said anything about you getting all your orgasms before me, did we?" "No." Ryan's attention was locked on him as he began unbuttoning his shirt. "That wasn't part of the deal." "So..." He pulled the shirt free from his waistband. "Nothing says I can't have a little fun before we get you ready for number two." 266

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Ryan wiggled his fingers. "I think this rope means you can have as much fun as you want." Teo tossed the shirt onto the chair, dropping his hands to his belt. "I might have screwed myself over, tying you up like that. You can't touch me or jerk me off once or twice before I fuck you." Ryan lifted his head from the pillow. "I can do something better than jerk you off. But you've got to be a little closer." His buckle clinked where it landed on his shirt, and his jeans quickly followed. Ryan's promise made his fingers itch to dig back into his flesh, deeper and deeper until the marks left behind branded him as Teo's for all to see. As soon as his cock sprang free, Ryan licked his lips, and Teo knew exactly what he had to do. "How close do I have to be then?" he asked, fisting his length. "Closer." Teo took a small step and Ryan gestured at his chest with his chin. "Right here." Oh, hell, yeah. Teo kept from grinning in anticipation as he climbed back onto the bed, throwing his leg over so that he straddled Ryan's body. Continuing to stroke his cock, he inched upward, letting his balls drag along Ryan's heated skin. Each point of contact was a velvet caress, and by the time he perched over Ryan's chest, Teo felt like his insides had liquefied. Leaning forward, he grabbed the headboard just above Ryan's hands. It tilted his body forward, forcing his ass to lift away, but it also aimed the dripping head of his cock straight for Ryan's mouth. 267

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Their eyes met. Ryan parted his lips, but rather than allow the other man to suck him yet, Teo dragged the tip across his mouth, shining it with pre-come. **** Ryan didn't mind the rough rope against his wrists. He didn't even mind that he would very likely be sporting burns by the time Teo untied him. But he desperately wanted to touch Teo, wanted to rub his hands down Teo's solid, muscled chest, wanted to be free to kiss him. By the time Teo straddled his chest, he was practically shaking with anticipation—even though he knew Teo would find new ways to torment him. Ryan's cock began to harden as soon as Teo settled his weight on Ryan's chest. The slide of Teo's balls sent sparks through his flesh, and he was ready to swallow Teo down with a single stroke. He moaned softly as Teo dragged his cock over his lips, and his mouth itched for more. He licked away the pre-come, and was instantly hungry for more of the salty taste. The second time Teo dragged the tip of his cock across Ryan's lips, his tongue darted out. Teo shuddered above him as he caught the sensitive flesh. "Is that what you want?" His voice was a low rumble, thunder on the horizon. "This how you want me to fuck you first?" Ryan looked up to meet Teo's dark eyes. "Yes. It is." Teo's nostrils flared. The headboard creaked from his tight grip, and slowly, the mattress shifted as he leaned forward. 268

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The strong press of his knees against Ryan's sides compounded the sense of smothering that came from his solid weight above him. Ryan was dizzy by the time Teo touched his cock to Ryan's mouth again. He didn't need to tell Ryan to open. He was so ready, his lips parted as the first rich scent assaulted Ryan's awareness. Teo didn't sink in like Ryan craved. He held himself there, the velvety head resting heavily on Ryan's tongue, his breathing increasingly labored as Ryan caressed and licked the crown. The hand that had been holding the base came forward, callused fingertips running along the line of Ryan's jaw. The tender touch said more than any words Teo might utter. Ryan wanted to take Teo by the hips and force him forward, until his cock slid against the back of his throat. But he contented himself with tasting every bit of Teo's smooth skin, tonguing, lipping, and even nibbling at his crown until Teo moaned. When the fingers disappeared from Ryan's jaw and returned to Teo's cock, Ryan opened his mouth wider to accommodate the slow slide of Teo's shaft against his lips. Teo kept it shallow, always stopping when he reached the resistance at the back of his throat. He rocked his hips carefully, never pulling out, never offering more than the same few inches. The rhythm he set allowed Ryan the luxury of tasting him all over, sweeping over the bottom of his shaft on one stroke, swirling over the top on the next. Whenever he could, he ran his tongue along the slit, which always made Teo groan. 269

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Ryan kept his eyes open, his attention drifting from Teo's cock, to the rest of his body, and back again. Teo mostly kept his head down, but occasionally, Ryan would find just the right spot with his tongue, and then Teo would close his eyes and drop his head back, like he couldn't withstand the pleasure. Those little moments made Ryan think he could be quite content to stay in that position, with his mouth on Teo's cock, for the rest of the night. Just so he could continue to tease out the small moans, the shudders, the gasps, and the sighs. When Teo started to lengthen his strokes, Ryan was ready. He dropped his jaw further so that by the time he felt the pressure at the back of his throat, all he had to do was swallow. Goosebumps erupted along Teo's thigh the first time the tip slipped into the tight passage. He shifted his weight again as he pulled out, and their eyes locked as he moved his hand as well, tangling his fingers with Ryan's where they were bound. "Won't last," he said. The next glide in went deeper, deep enough that the hair tickled across Ryan's nose. "Not when you feel this good." Ryan nodded. He wasn't even sure how either of them lasted the long drive home. All he had done was touch and tease Teo, and he felt like he would explode from the tension between them. Teo's balls brushed against his chin, and the hair at his base was rough against Ryan's lip. Teo gradually moved faster, and Ryan moaned with encouragement. More, he wanted to say. Faster. Please. 270

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Maybe Teo saw his unspoken words in his eyes, or maybe he was just too close to the edge to care anymore. He snapped his hips, the rhythm jerky and disjointed. Ryan took as much of him as he could, moaning and humming around his shaft with each thrust forward. Teo's cock pulsed against his tongue, and then the rich, salty taste of his come filled his mouth and flowed down his throat. With each swallow, his own cock hardened until he was fully erect again. Sweat slicked the skin where Teo's powerful thighs pressed into Ryan's chest. It coated even more when Teo finally pulled back, panting and gasping for air. He stretched out alongside Ryan, throwing a leg over his, and promptly devoured his mouth again, seeking out the taste as Ryan had done to him earlier. Ryan strained against his bonds as he twisted to meet Teo's desire. The fingers that had been locked around his fumbled with the ropes, and the knots gradually loosened, allowing him the freedom to pull out and promptly lock his arms around Teo. "I need to feel you more than anything else," Teo murmured between kisses. Ryan enjoyed being at Teo's mercy, but he also wanted nothing more in that moment than to wrap himself around Teo's body. Their mouths came together again and again, and Ryan didn't know how it was possible to be so hungry for another person. His arms were tired, the taste of Teo's come still lingered in his mouth, his lips were swollen, and he couldn't be any closer physically to Teo's body, and yet, it still didn't feel like enough. 271

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Teo slipped a hand beneath Ryan's ass and tugged, rolling onto his back so that Ryan sprawled atop him. It gave Ryan a better advantage to feel even more of Teo's muscled length, and he rocked against his hips, rubbing the length of his cock along the other man's taut stomach until he thought the friction was going to scald him. With one hand still cupping an ass cheek and the other the back of Ryan's neck, Teo had all the control. His arms blocked Ryan from moving too far, from sitting up, from doing anything but hold on. Not that it mattered. There was nowhere else Ryan wanted to be. Though he did get a little frustrated when Teo finally broke away from their kisses. "You always distract me from my plans," he teased. "I really wasn't going to let you go, you know." "I believe you." Ryan sucked on Teo's bottom lip for a second, then lifted his head. "But I didn't do anything to distract you. I wasn't even trying to work free from the rope." His thumb made small circles in the soft spot below Ryan's ear, his gaze black and heavy as it fixed on Ryan's mouth again. "Just having you touch me distracts me." "That's fair enough." Ryan tilted his head, leaning into Teo's hand. "You do worse than distract me. You make it impossible to think straight." "This isn't going to turn into one of those who loves who more talks, is it?" Ryan grinned. "I could see it going that direction." "You'd lose." 272

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Ryan pulled away so he could see Teo's face. "You think so?" "Know so." His mouth twitched into a half-smile. "I know how to shut you up if you start to win." Ryan wiped his thumb over Teo's small smile. "You are rather good at shutting me up. Not that I'm complaining. I'm very much not." "You could complain. It wouldn't do you any good. I'm not letting you walk away again." Ryan knew he wouldn't walk away again, no matter what happened, even if Teo pushed him. Because he knew now he would have far too much to lose if he walked away without a fight. "Good. Because if you had just said one word, I would have stayed. I need you too much to go through that again." Slowly, Teo pulled him back down, caressing Ryan's lips with his own rather than kissing him. "Feels to me, you need more than that," he murmured. The strong grip on his ass guided Ryan to rock again, the contact rekindling the fire that hadn't really faded. "Now that I set you free, what do you want to do about it?" Ryan reached between Teo's legs to grasp his semi-erect cock, positioning it so it was against his ass and not trapped between their bodies. He continued rocking, dragging his shaft against Teo's hard body, and sliding against Teo's cock. "I think you promised to pound into me." Fingers tightened on his ass, separating the cheeks so that Teo's length slipped between them. "I did. But I don't want you to move." 273

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Ryan loved to feel Teo's weight bearing down on him, but at that moment, he didn't want to move, either. Despite the different ways they had fucked in their time together, Ryan had never been on top. "I don't intend to." He grinned. "Well, maybe a little. To find the lube." Teo matched his smile. Reaching sideways, he blindly opened the nightstand drawer, shifting only slightly beneath Ryan as he dug around inside. He pulled back with the tube in hand. "You mean, this?" "I do." Ryan felt Teo harden against him, and his ass clenched at the thought of sinking onto the thick length. "Will you get me ready for you?" Letting go of Ryan, Teo flipped open the lube and squeezed some out on his fingers. Ryan watched hungrily, eager to feel them stretching inside of him, and slid up enough to make it easier for Teo to reach around. It made the head of his cock drag along Teo's body again, and the slight tickle of chest hair along the wet tip made him shiver. "Do you think of this as your home, too?" Teo asked quietly. His fingertips skimmed over Ryan's hole, lubricating the opening without penetration yet. "Not the ranch. This house." "I do now. Now that you've told me it is." Ryan held himself in place, the muscles in his thighs trembling, as Teo continued to tease him. Just the thought of being filled and stretched by his fingers, and then his cock, quickened Ryan's 274

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breath. "Before ... it felt like I belonged here. I'd rather be here than in my own room at the house." "I want you to do what you want with it." His hand stopped, and Teo pushed one finger past the tight ring. He sank it all the way in, making Ryan gasp. "Make it our place." "Okay." It was more a squeak than a word as Teo began thrusting his hand. He couldn't help but push back, and that created more friction against his cock. He felt like his nerveendings were all jumping to life at the same moment. "That's good because ... this place doesn't seem settled. Like you could just ... pick up and go again." Teo shook his head. His eyes bored into Ryan's, daring him to look away as he added a second finger. "I'm not going anywhere without you. I can't. The Good Fortune might be mine and Antonio's home now, but so are you." Ryan didn't know which stole his ability to speak—the added pressure of Teo's fingers or the intensity in his eyes— but he could only nod. And hope that Teo saw the truth in his eyes. He believed Teo completely. He didn't doubt him, or his feelings. It seemed strange to have such perfect faith in another, fallible human being, but he did. The tips of Teo's fingers brushed against his prostate, driving him forward to seal his mouth against Teo's, muffling his groan. Teo responded to the contact without hesitation, parting his lips to return the kiss. They remained like that for seconds, minutes, an eternity, maybe. Ryan didn't know. Couldn't. Too much demanded his attention to bother keeping track of something as inconsequential as time. There was the burn of Teo's fingers 275

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as he added a third to his careful stretching. There was the slow sweep of Teo's tongue as he marked Ryan for his own. There was the heat and the rush and the roar of blood as it surged to the surface of his skin. Teo twisted his hand on every stroke now, spreading fingers wider and wider inside his channel. He tortured Ryan by eluding his prostate most of the time, but every once in awhile, another glance across it would make Ryan whimper, clenching around the intrusion as if to dare Teo to pull out. When they separated, a gleam of sweat dampened Teo's brow, and his breathing was harsh and hot. "Is that enough?" he asked, "Because I can't wait any longer." Ryan nodded quickly. "It's enough. I don't want to wait either." He shuddered as Teo pulled his fingers away. He shifted backwards until he felt the blunt tip of Teo's cock pressing against his hole. He stilled, waiting for Teo to move, but he didn't. Without taking his eyes from Teo's face, he rocked backwards, catching his breath as the crown pushed through the muscle. Teo gripped his hips, guiding him further down his shaft, and Ryan's couldn't force another breath. Teo never thrust upward. He relied on his strength to dig into Ryan's flesh, pushing and pushing until there was nothing left to push, every inch sheathed inside his ass. It trapped Ryan's cock between their bodies, but he didn't have any time to think about the hard muscle trembling against his shaft. Teo released one hand, switching from a hold on his hip to the back of his neck. 276

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"Ride me," he breathed. Then their mouths fused, heat and more heat, enough to make Ryan forget for long seconds what exactly Teo had told him to do. Ryan didn't move until he absolutely had to, until every single nerve in his body cried out for it. He rotated his hips first, just enough to make them both moan as he increased the burn between their bodies. He thought about sitting up, but he didn't want to take his mouth from Teo's, didn't want to stop tasting him, or feeling his hot breath, even for a second. So he rocked his hips, waiting for Teo to take control of the pace, but that never happened either. He let Ryan move until he found the slow rhythm he wanted. With Ryan in charge, Teo let go, hands roaming to pet and stroke, pinch and pull, no patch of skin safe from his exploration. He loved how the rough calluses could both scrape him raw and tease him with tenderness, even more evidence of the man Teo was. But not once did he doubt the need Teo couldn't hide. It took form in Teo's moans, and Teo's kisses, and Teo's murmurs when they would part for breath. Ryan recognized it so easily because it mirrored his own. That knowledge was enough to drive him back to the man he was suddenly sure would always give him anything he could ever want. Ryan had always been very vocal. He never had any control over his own throat. It seemed like the shouts and moans and yelps were just torn from him without his assent. But not this time. He didn't shout once as he rocked against Teo's body. All of the energy that usually erupted from him 277

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came now in soft whispers. He breathed Teo's name, and declarations, and promises, that were only cut off when Teo's mouth found his for a long, searing kiss. Teo gave up on the caresses. He wrapped his strong arms around Ryan's back and started to rise to meet every one of the deep strokes. The new motions found fresh spots to scorch inside him, and when the blunt head massaged Ryan's prostate, sharp electricity made his balls ache. Teo didn't shift his position, didn't give Ryan a moment of relief. He just kept building the pressure more and more with the deep thrusts, until Ryan thought he finally would scream. The burn was exquisite, and it spread through his skin, making him hot from his neck to his toes, making him throb. Their kisses grew harder, too, with more teeth and tongue. When he felt the push of fingers between their bodies, Ryan knew it was only a matter of time. Teo found the tip of his cock, his nail catching for a moment in the slit. Then his warm palm was flush against Ryan's shaft, his grip vise-tight, his determination unwavering. On the first pull, Teo slammed his head back into the pillow, the veins taut in his neck. On the second, Ryan felt a quiver in Teo's thighs. On the third, Teo plowed upward, driving past tensing muscle as a wordless shout tore from his throat. Heat flooded Ryan's ass, but it only served to ease the way as Teo continued to piston erratically in and out of his passage. "Love you..." Ryan gasped. "I'll always ... always..." His cock twitched against Teo's fingers, and then his second orgasm pounded through him. It hit him harder than the first 278

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time he came, took more of his breath, and burned through him faster. He clenched down around Teo's shaft, and his mouth found Teo's neck, his teeth sinking into the sinew. The arm around him tightened, holding him in place as he shook with the force of it. A wet trail blazed along his skin, finding its way to Ryan's jaw, his chin, his mouth. Teo kissed him until neither had any breath left, then kissed him a little bit more. "I love you," he said softly. "And I'm glad you're home." "Me, too." Ryan sighed and collapsed, his head resting on Teo's shoulder. "You've worn me out. I'm going to have to start working harder to keep up with you." Teo snorted. "You remember what I do for a living, right? Enjoy this now, because real life has me coming home and crashing after I get Antonio to bed." "Oh, I am. Enjoying it immensely. And as long as you're crashing with me, that's fine." "Only you." He kissed Ryan's damp temple. "For as long as you'll have me." Ryan closed his eyes. "I did say always. I guess I can't take that back now." "Nope. You're stuck with me; with both of us." Burrowing his face into Ryan's neck, Teo inhaled deeply, silent for several seconds. "You're family now." Family had always surrounded Ryan, but he had never felt like he belonged to anybody. Or that anybody belonged to him. He never expected to find his home again on the Good Fortune ranch, but now he was right where he wanted to be, 279

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in the arms of the man he wanted to be with. For the first time in months, all of the weight lifted from his shoulders. The life he always meant to have stretched gloriously in front of them. The End [Back to Table of Contents]

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About the Author Jamie Craig is the collaborative efforts of Pepper Espinoza and Vivien Dean. Both successful authors on their own, they began working together in early 2006. Pepper lives with her husband and cats in Utah, where she attends graduate school, and Vivien resides in Northern California with her husband and two children.

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