Heartbeat

Heartbeat by Helen Gabriel

Torquere Press www.torquerepress.com

Copyright ©2008 by Helen Gabriel First published in www.torquerepress.com, 2008 NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution to any person via email, floppy disk, network, print out, or any other means is a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines and/or imprisonment. This notice overrides the Adobe Reader permissions which are erroneous. This eBook cannot be legally lent or given to others. This eBook is displayed using 100% recycled electrons.

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CONTENTS Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter

One Two Three Four Five Six ****

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Chapter One Sean felt his heart stop as the meaning of the reporter's words sank in, his hand freezing halfway to his mouth, the drink he'd been looking forward to all week forgotten. "A source close to the police investigation has confirmed that sports great Jacob O'Malley has been kidnapped," the reporter said, her voice a somber death knell to him. His heart chose that moment to start beating again, pounding so loudly he couldn't make out the rest of what she said. "Oh, fuck. Jackie," he said, not even realizing he'd spoken aloud until Nelson's question. "Jackie? Where? I'd like to meet the cold-hearted bitch who put your heart in a deep freeze and give her what for." He ignored Nelson in favor of catching the bartender's attention. "Turn it up, Mitch," he said, raising one hand to indicate the television in the corner behind the bar. He ignored Nelson's and Mitch's identical looks of astonishment as he spoke. To say he didn't talk much was an understatement—seven words was a speech for him. A lengthy one. A publicity photo of Jacob in a suit flashed on the screen, his dark good looks shown to their best advantage, quickly followed by a montage of clips highlighting some of Jacob's athletic fetes. He swallowed hard, making a conscious attempt to slow his heart rate and even out his breathing. 4

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Years of military training took over, sending him on high alert as his brain catalogued the details of the kidnapping: the name of the street Jacob had been driving on, what he'd been wearing, the lack of a ransom note, the blood on the front seat. "O'Malley was on his way home from an awards ceremony honoring his work with underprivileged children when he was apparently pulled from his car at a red light." "Damn it, Jackie. I told you to hire a bodyguard," he said, furious that Jackie had ignored his advice. "You're shitting me, right, Cantrell? Jacob O'Malley is your Jackie?" Nelson asked, one ebony hand pulling Sean around to face him. Sean craned his neck, trying to keep the television in his line of sight. "Not now, Nelson," he said, tugging free and moving a few feet closer to the television. Nelson grunted, following on his heels and taking in the scenes as they played out before them. He'd been teamed up with Nelson a good many years and knew he'd jeopardized their friendship by not telling him before. He just couldn't make himself care now. He'd always looked out for Jackie, done what he thought was in the best interest of the kid. This time would be no different. Even if it meant losing a good friend and, quite likely, his job if word got back to base. The coverage ended as abruptly as it had begun. Sean turned on his heel and walked quickly from the bar, pulling the keys from his pocket as he went. A million thoughts ran through his head as he opened the door to the loaner truck 5

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and settled behind the wheel. He cranked the truck and threw it in gear, only to slam on the brakes as someone stepped in front of him. Nelson yanked open the passenger door and hopped in, his cell phone glued to his ear and talking a mile a minute. "That's what I said. Get things going, wouldya? We'll be there in ten," he said, snapping the phone closed. "Benny's putting in for our leave and calling in the other guys. Everything should be good to go once we get there." Sean didn't waste time with words. He nodded once and focused on his driving. What he was planning would be easier with help. And if he had Nelson in his corner, anything was doable. He didn't know how much Nelson had told Benny, but if the guys were willing to help, so much the better. They could fall apart later. Once he knew Jackie was okay. "Now give, Sean. Who is Jacob O'Malley to you? I knew you were a fan but this, this is something else," Nelson said, turning to lean against the passenger door so he could better take in Sean's reaction in the dim light. Sean glanced over at him and took in the look on his face. Stubborn. Instead of wasting valuable time arguing, he told Nelson what he wanted to know. "He's Jackie." Nelson whistled and shook his head but said nothing. Sean gauged the traffic at the yellow light before punching it and driving through. Nelson braced his hands on the dash before glaring at him, "He worth dying for?" "Hell, yes," he said. 6

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"Even after what he's put you through?" Sean didn't speak, just nodded. Jackie hadn't put him through anything. Not on purpose, anyway. It wasn't Jackie's fault he felt the way he did. The kid had done nothing to make Sean love him. Nothing except breathe. "Then he's worth saving. Get us to the base and we'll get it done." By the time he parked, his hands were beginning to tremble. The trembling was so minor he doubted Nelson noticed, but he noticed. Sean took a deep breath to clear his head, knowing he wouldn't do anybody any good if he couldn't get it together. Nelson came around and opened his door, patiently waiting for him to climb out before slamming the door behind him. "Maybe when this is all over you could clue me in, huh, friend?" Sean locked eyes with the other man, blue clashing with brown. Nelson wasn't mad. He'd seen Nelson mad once. Only once in all the time he'd known him. And it hadn't looked like this. No. This was more ... hurt. He held the other man's gaze and nodded. Nelson clapped him on the back, leaving his arm around Sean's shoulders as they walked in. Organized chaos greeted them, the men in various stages of readiness. Nelson opened his mouth to speak but Sean stopped him with a look. Nelson tucked his chin to his chest and gestured that Sean had the floor.

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The guys slowly stopped what they were doing and shifted their focus to him. After locking eyes with every guy in the room, he began. "The kid's been kidnapped. I want him back where he belongs by this time tomorrow." He heard Nelson gasp as the significance of what he said sank in. Jacob O'Malley was Jackie. The kid was Sean's foster brother. They were all one and the same. He released the men with a nod, turning to find Benny waiting to talk to him. "Hey, hoss," Benny said, his slow Texas drawl belying his quick mind. "Here's what the cops know so far." He took the papers Benny held out to him, his hand clenching them before dropping to his side. "And here's what I know," Benny said, handing him another sheaf. He rolled the two stacks into one tube, waiting for Benny to tell him what he wanted to know. "Based on where he was taken, there are a couple of places they could have stashed him," Benny said, turning to lean against a table to the right of them. One finger circled the area where Jacob was taken. "But I think this warehouse is our best bet." He listened with half an ear as Benny explained how he'd come to such a conclusion, surveillance cameras and eyewitness accounts being mentioned. Benny knew his stuff. And Sean knew better than to question him. He'd read through the information he'd been given while they were en route. 8

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Sean turned to find Nelson, one pack slung over each shoulder. "Everyone's ready. Time to go," Nelson told him, handing over one of the packs. He and Nelson had headed straight to the bar the moment they'd completed training, wanting to drink and not worried about offending anyone with their ripe states. The others had wanted to get cleaned up first, hoping to score a dance, if not more. Sean nodded and watched as Benny grabbed his pack. The group made its way out to the airstrip, typical end-of-training gab absent. They might be headed home to California but this was anything but a typical end to their training runs. Energy hummed among them as they boarded and took off. No one dared ask him about Jacob, though. Sean's closed-mouth reputation was well earned. The only time he'd ever run off at the mouth was when he'd been shot and loaded up on meds. That's when he'd told them about Jackie, the one he loved. They'd teased him after until Nelson had made them back off. Not that Nelson had taken his own advice. Oh, no. Nelson had waited until they were alone to grill him. He'd finally given in and told Nelson that Jackie was off limits. That was it. And Nelson had respected that, for the most part. He was too good a friend to ignore it completely and occasionally pushed Sean to date, or at least fuck. To no avail. Sean and his hands were well acquainted. Well acquainted. He'd made his choices long ago even if he hadn't learned to live with them as well as he'd hoped. When he'd made a commitment to take care of Jacob, it had been bone deep and 9

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unbreakable. It's not that he didn't want to have sex. He did. With Jacob. His body didn't care that Jacob wasn't available. It wanted him and him alone and when it couldn't have him, it wanted to know why. It didn't want a cheap imitation. And it protested when it had to settle for a little manual action, making him fight to come every time. The hum of the aircraft settled into his brain, white noise secondary to the thoughts of Jacob that ran through his head. He refused to think of Jacob terrified, possibly hurt or worse. So he concentrated instead on the first time he'd seen the kid, snot-nosed and shaking in his pitiful shoes as the social worker brought him to live with Sean. A victim of abuse himself, Sean had recognized the kid's bruises for what they were—an "accidental" meeting with someone's fists. Among other things, it turned out. Jacob's birth mother had been no prize and her taste in men was just as lacking, to say the least. Five-year-old Jacob had latched onto fifteen-year-old Sean right away despite Sean's taciturn nature. It got to the point where Jacob wasn't like his shadow, he was Sean's shadow. Their foster mother had had good intentions, taking in kids like some might take in strays. This led to a crowded house and limited resources. In no time at all, Sean found himself watching out for Jacob, helping him with his bath, making his snacks, supervising his schoolwork, chasing away the boogey man. By the time Sean was eighteen, he was as attached to Jacob as Jacob was to him. He'd managed to stay in school and graduate, knowing Jacob was counting on him. As soon 10

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as Jacob's adoption had gone through and he was officially their foster mother's son, Sean had joined the Navy. When he'd first come to live with her, he had refused her offer of adoption for himself but had changed his mind after Jacob had come along. Once Jacob's mother had lost her rights to him he had encouraged Jacob to allow their foster mother to adopt Jacob as well, legalizing the emotional claim they had on one another. The Navy had been good to him, increasing his strengths and diminishing his weaknesses. Being a SEAL meant he was stationed close to Jacob in California. Being quiet meant it had been easy to keep the kid to himself. It's not that he was ashamed of his foster family—just the opposite, in fact. And it's not that he didn't trust the guys around his family. But his time with Jacob had always seemed so brief he hadn't wanted to share a moment of it with anyone else. Hand-in-hand with being tight-lipped was his dislike of personal mementos. As a child, he'd learned that anything he'd valued would be taken from him. And as SEAL, he'd learned it was best not to chance leaving anything identifiable behind on a mission. So the only pictures he had of Jacob were the ones in his head. The only scent, a memory of the breath he'd taken at their last meeting. The only feeling, a cool shirt under his hand as he'd patted the kid on the back. The only sound, the kid's laugh as he'd teased him about hogging the conversation. They'd never kissed so he had no taste to recall, to his everlasting regret. [Back to Table of Contents] 11

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Chapter Two He felt a tap on his arm and opened his eyes, taking in his cell phone in Nelson's outstretched hand. He must have forgotten it in the truck earlier. This had better end soon, before he completely lost it. He started to close his eyes when Nelson shook his head and thrust the phone into his hands where they rested in his lap. "It's him," Nelson said. He immediately jerked the phone open and brought it up to his ear. "Kid?" "Not quite," the voice on the other end said. "Who the fuck is this?" He heard a groan in the background and felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. His entire being focused in on that sound, blocking out everyone and everything else. Nelson gestured for him to say something. "You called me." There was a moment of stunned silence followed by a harsh laugh. "You must be the kid's sugar daddy. I know all about you, you cock sucking—" "Is there a point to this call?" "What did you say?" "If you know all about me then you know I'm a busy man," Sean said, wanting to fluster the guy and gambling that he wouldn't take it out on Jacob. 12

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"Asshole," he said, the word more hissed than spoken. "Oh, I bet you liked that, you sick—" Sean flipped his phone closed, cutting off the other man in mid-sentence. He looked over at Watson to make sure he was good to go. He let his phone ring twice before flipping it open and slowly bringing it to his ear. The words streaming through the phone were almost unintelligible, slurred by anger and possibly booze. He nodded once at Watson, letting the kidnapper rain fire down on his head, hopping he'd pushed the guy enough so he'd talk for a bit. "-ever do that again! You will respect me, by God, or Jacob will pay for it!" The sound of hard breathing came through, making it difficult to hear Jacob moving in the background. "If you need Jacob to pay for something, he's got the money," he asked, doing his best to play dumb. "Just have him cut you a check, or have his agent or accountant cut it. Whatever. He's good for it." "I don't want his money!" the man yelled, his voice a shrill screech in his ear. "I don't know what the little shit told you but I'm the wrong guy to borrow from. He's got money, not me." "I'll tell you what I want. I want to put an end to his evil ways. He's committed the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah. He should pay for what he's done." Sean had no idea why this guy would think that about such a straight shooter as Jacob but knew the other man would never believe him. Some people you just couldn't argue with. "You're breaking up. I've been trying to tell you, I don't have 13

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any money to pay his way. I would if I could but I just don't have it. His agent should, though. Give him a call." "I told you—" Just as the man began his rant again Sean got a nod from Watson. He'd gotten a lock on the guy's signal. "-pay!" "His agent! Call his agent!" he shouted into the phone before once again snapping it closed. One of the hardest things he'd ever done was sit there while his phone rang and rang. He clenched his hands and gritted his teeth. He squeezed his eyes closed only to have them pop open the moment the ringing stopped. In less than an hour, they were in place at the warehouse. Like clockwork, they ran through the motions, securing the perimeter, checking for booby traps and locating their target. It was almost anticlimactic the way they were able to neutralize the guy. He'd been drunk and enraged, going on about Jacob's homosexual lifestyle and how it would lead him to eternal damnation, and hadn't been very aware of his surroundings. In the end, Nelson had been able to walk up behind him and knock him out. Jacob, his face a bloody mess, was tied to a chair that had been knocked over on its side. Sean cut his feet loose, then his arms. He turned to yell for Doc and saved his breath. Doc was already there, running his hands along Jacob's body, searching for broken bones and worse. Sean knew better than to move Jacob but couldn't keep from reaching out a hand to run his fingers through Jacob's dark hair. 14

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One swollen eye cracked open before flinching closed again. "Nooo..." "Shh, Jackie, it's me," he said, carefully tugging a strand of hair out of his eyes. Jacob's eye opened again the tiniest bit. "Sean?" "Yeah." A soft whimper came from between his busted lips and then tremors shook his battered frame. "Boogeyman gots me." Sean was shocked to hear Jacob speak as he had as a child but tried not to let it show, not wanting to upset Jacob further. "We chased him away for you," he said, looking at Doc and raising one eyebrow. "He needs an ambulance," Doc said, his voice low. "It's on its way," Nelson said, snapping his phone closed and squatting down next to the kid's head. Sean knew they had to get out of there before the cops came. He signaled for his team to pull back but he waited until the last possible second to join them, not wanting to leave the kid alone with the madman. "Go," Jacob said, working his eye open to lock gazes with Sean. "'fore he gets you, too." Sean nodded, at last easing his fingers from Jacob's hair. Slowly, he backed away from Jacob and into the shadows, disappearing into the dark. ****

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Through the chaotic moments that followed, Jacob felt Sean's eyes on him. He let the paramedics do their job, only speaking when he absolutely had to and then in one-word replies. He knew he didn't sound right but didn't know how to fix it. The ride to the hospital was one big blur. Hell, the past twenty-four hours were a blur. One minute he'd been sitting at a red light, contemplating the time difference between here and where Sean had gone for training and wondering if he'd have time to call before going to bed, and the next, his window had been shattered and he'd been pistol-whipped into unconsciousness. He couldn't get over how fast the other man had moved. When he'd come to he'd already been tied to the chair. The guy had gone on and on about Jacob's sexual preferences, insisting his soul was in peril and that he had to root out and destroy the source of his temptation. Much of the beating that had followed had never had a chance to sink in, thanks to the concussion he'd been given at the get-go. He did remember screaming for Sean, though. He'd known with every fiber of his being that Sean would save him if he could. What he didn't know was if that was all he'd said. His moments of awareness were spent biting back moans and trying to remember what he'd said about Sean. He finally passed out in the ambulance, coming to sometime later in a private room. A noise startled him, causing him to flinch. His abused body protested and his breath hissed through his teeth. 16

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"Shh..." The sound soft, soothing his eardrums that had been battered by the kidnapper's harsh accusations and brutal volume. "Sean?" he asked, still unable to do more than crack open one eye. The dim light was sufficient to let him make out Sean's blond hair and Nordic features, his solid presence reassuring after the hell he'd been through. "Yeah." His breath caught on a sob and he bit his lip to hold it in, moaning at the resulting pain from his lips and teeth. He felt a muscled arm curl around his head, not applying pressure but surrounding him nonetheless. Warm breath caressed his ear, soft dry lips brushing against the sensitive skin of his ear lobe. "It's okay, kid. Just let go. I've got ya." His bruised ribs refused him the release of the sobs he so desperately needed but gave him something else to focus on. He turned his face toward Sean, ignoring the protests from his battered face until he was finally secure in Sean's embrace. "Scared," he said, not worrying about being weak in front of Sean. He knew he'd not be judged and found lacking in this man's eyes. "I know. But it's over now. You're safe." He nodded but refused to budge from the haven of Sean's neck. He felt Sean brush a kiss on the top of his head and then heard him sigh. He started to protest as Sean pulled away but relaxed when he realized Sean was lowering the 17

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bedrail. He eased over as best he could, wincing as his body protested. "Let me help," Sean said, working his hands under his shoulders and thighs before moving him over a few inches. The cool metal bars of the bedrail on his right side were a comforting presence but not as much as the feel of Sean settling beside him in the bed. As much as he wanted this, he had to warn Sean. "You shouldn't—" he began, only to cut his words off at the sharp look he received from Sean. "Why the hell not?" Sean asked, his gaze steady and reassuring. "Hurt too much?" He started to shake his head, but that set the room to spinning, so he stopped. "No, but that man—" "Is lucky he's still alive and definitely not quote worthy, kid," Sean said, proceeding to lie on his side facing him, before easing the edge of his t-shirt into Jacob's fingers and helping him tangle them in the fabric just as he'd done as a child. Jacob never had a blankie as a kid—he hadn't needed one because he'd had a Sean. If Sean had been within grabbing distance, Jacob inevitably had a piece of Sean's clothing clenched in his fist, as though afraid Sean would disappear if he didn't hold on for dear life. "I don't remember much but I think I told him, Sean," he said, dread filling him. "Told him what?" Sean's voice revealed only a mild curiosity in Jacob's words, his hands busy tracing every bit of Jacob that he could. "That I love you." 18

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"I love you, too, kid," Sean said, his hands never paused in their journey over Jacob's body. Jacob untangled his fingers from Sean's shirt long enough to grab one of his hands, making Sean focus on him. He met Sean's gaze as best he could before releasing Sean's wrist and bringing his fingers up to trace Jacob's lips. "Not like that. Well, like that, but more," he said, hating how words refused to come to his addled brain. He saw understanding dawn in Sean's gaze and felt Sean's gasp against his fingertips before nodding once and re-tangling his fingers in Sean's shirt. He pressed one ear to Sean's chest and listened to his heart pound. Secure in Sean's embrace, he breathed deeply of Sean's scent and allowed the pain and the drugs to carry him away. He knew without being told that Sean would be there when he awoke. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Three Sean lay beside Jacob and listened as the kid's breath evened out in sleep before taking stock of his own vital signs, which, he was certain, were all over the place after hearing Jacob's words. As much as he wanted to, he knew better than to put any stock into what Jacob had just told him—pain, meds, and fear of dying could make people say things they didn't mean. But, God, how he wanted to believe. He knew Nelson and some of the boys would hang around for awhile—mainly for him, but the fact that they were getting to meet some of Sean's hotshot teammates didn't hurt—so he felt safe in playing the what-if game. What if Jacob had meant what he'd said? Or at least meant what Sean thought he'd said? What if Jacob loved him the way he loved Jacob? Hell, if you're going to dream, dream big, right? So ... what if he weren't part of a military that feared queers in its ranks? What if Jacob didn't have to worry about his teammates or fans turning their backs on him? What if they could buy a little house and settle down somewhere— together? As much as he loved being in the military and serving his country, he loved Jacob even more and would give it all up in a heartbeat. No regrets.

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If Jacob were in his life, twenty-four-seven the way he'd always dreamed about, there wouldn't be room for regrets. No, siree. But he couldn't say the same for Jacob. Jacob had dreamed about being a major leaguer as long as Jacob had known him. It was what lots of little snot-nosed kids said, so Sean had been glad to humor him and play catch whenever Jacob had an itch to, which was always. But as Jacob had gotten older his dream hadn't changed, his focus never shifted to academics or girls or cars like other kids' had. Sean was so proud of all that Jacob had accomplished he could just burst. He knew the effort that Jacob had put into training and had done his best to help however he could, even if it meant sending him away to study with the pros for summer camp as a kid or supporting him as he played in farm leagues to hone his skills. Even if it meant distancing himself from Jacob so the kid had the space he needed to make a life for himself. Even if it meant pretending those eight little words had never been spoken. **** When Jacob woke up, he was one giant throb. And he was alone. With one eye swollen shut and the other refusing to cooperate fully. So when he saw a giant shadow peel away from the far corner, he did what any self-respecting person would do. He panicked. "No!" he screamed, reaching for the vase on the table beside him he threw it. "Get away from me! Sean!" 21

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The shadow caught the vase in one hand and a handful of flowers in the other, setting them down on the window ledge. "Shit. How the hell did you ever make it to the majors throwing like that?" Jacob felt more than heard the words as the shadow rumbled them. The sound of running feet and the door to his room being thrown open startled him and he jerked back against his pillow, hissing as the motion made every bruise on his body protest. "What the—" Sean. Man, the instantaneous feeling of relaxation that swept over him was startling. From freaked to frumpy in nothing flat. He felt tender hands brush over him, searching for additional injuries and then smoothing back his hair when they didn't find any. "'M okay," he said, surprised that he meant it. He might ache six ways to Sunday but he was okay. Because Sean was here. How could he be anything but? He finally felt Sean's fingers tangle with his own and heard Sean's breathing settle down to normal. "Friend of yours?" he asked, figuring he must be or Sean would have killed him by now but wondering nonetheless. Sean grunted an affirmative so Jacob squeezed his fingers, insisting on more. "Nelson," being the 'more' that he got. But that was enough. "Army buddy, huh?" he asked, knowing his negligence would get him the information he was after. 22

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"Army couldn't do what we did," he felt Nelson say. Damn. He was going to have to tell them his ears were messed up. Or maybe not, because he heard Sean plain enough. "Don't be an asshole, Jacob," Sean said. And Jacob knew Sean said it with a smile, even if he could see much of anything at the moment. He knew because he knew Sean. And that tone of voice always came with a smile. He jumped as he felt strange hands start to follow the same path that Sean's had earlier. "Who—" "Nurse. She's okay," Sean said, brushing a kiss to the top of his head. "Faint praise if ever I heard it. How are you feeling today, Mr. O'Malley?" she asked, her no-nonsense voice giving nothing away. "Fine," he said. He tried to lie still but couldn't stop himself from cringing away from the soft hands. A soft sound of protest escaped him. "You don't have to—" "Oh, but I do," she said, grabbing his wrist between her capable fingers. "It's my job. And my pleasure." He knew she was teasing, just as he knew Sean and Nelson hadn't left the room—Sean wouldn't let anything happen to him. Still, it made him feel sick to his stomach. He remembered that sick fuck who'd attacked him, the venom and suppressed lust dripping from his voice. And he remembered how some of his mom's boyfriends had liked to watch her hurt him. He jerked his wrist free of her grasp despite her protest and struggled to sit up. 23

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"Hey! I'm not finished—" she began but he ignored her. "Yes, you are," he said, fighting to keep his arm away from her. He could feel Sean's confusion—should he restrain him or help him escape her—and decided he'd better clear that up right quick. "Sick." A plastic pail was thrust into his hands, followed by a gruff, "Here." And that, as they say, was all she wrote. It had been a while since he'd eaten so all he got for his efforts were the dry heaves. Still, it got her hands off of him. **** Jacob's reaction to the nurse caught Sean off guard. He'd forgotten that about Jacob. It quickly came back to him, though. How Jacob hid behind him as a child, avoiding hugs and pats from their extended foster family. How as an adult Jacob gave a painted grimace when the occasional ball player gave him a pat on the back or a swat to the rear. One thing hadn't changed—how Jacob seemed not only to bear Sean's touch, but relish it. Jacob had slumped back down in the bed after trying to introduce his stomach to his throat. Poor kid. But he still clutched Sean's hand in his own. Sean had put his hand out to study the plastic basin and Jacob had latched on blindly, forcing Nelson to grab the basin when it was all over. The nurse—Margie, according to her nametag—came back in. She double-checked Jacob's chart, nodding a bit to herself. Placing the chart back in its holder at the foot of Jacob's bed, 24

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she reached over to pat his foot before stopping herself, hand dangling midair. She offered the three of them a tired smile before patting Jacob's footboard instead and asking them to page the nurse's station if they needed anything. Sean didn't imagine it when the tension eased from Jacob's body, his grip on Sean loosening the slightest bit. He and Nelson stood quietly, each watching over Jacob as he slipped off to sleep. They let a couple of more minutes pass before Nelson gestured to the door with his head. Sean gave a mental sigh and slipped his hand from Jacob's before following Nelson out the door. Once in the hallway, he left the door open a crack so he'd hear if Jacob woke up and then leaned back against the wall. Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked Nelson in the eye and waited. Nelson glanced down the hall toward the nurse's station, seeming to catalogue each and every item as though an enemy might pop out at any second. Sean humored him, seeing one patient carefully making his way down the hall with the help of the handrail on one side, a nurse's aide on the other. There was a rack laden with food trays parked midway down the hall and a couple carrying a vase of flowers and a "get well soon" balloon peeking into a room a bit farther down. Nothing worth Nelson's attention, certainly. Nelson turned back to him and took in the bored expression on Sean's face. The muscle in Nelson's jaw worked a couple of times but he seemed to have trouble finding the words he sought. 25

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Finally, he managed to find one he liked. "Shit." Sean huffed a breath. "It was, too, my business. I spent all this time trying to ... And you just ... Damn it!" Sean grunted at this, more than able to fill in the blanks after working with Nelson for so long. "It doesn't make a difference to me." Sean raised an eyebrow at this but held his own counsel. Nelson nodded his head a bit and said, "You're right. It does make a difference. But not a bad one." Sean tipped his head back a bit, encouraging Nelson on. Nelson sighed. "I haven't told the guys and I won't. But it won't take them that long to put it together the way I did. Not once they see you together." Sean's expression said "tough shit" and "fuck 'em" all at once. "That's your decision, but they're not going to take it as well as I did." Sean's expression turned pissy around the edges, prompting Nelson to quickly elaborate. "The subterfuge, I mean, not the other. They care about you. And they count on you. They need to know you trust 'em." At this, Sean's shoulders slumped. Nelson was right; the guys would probably take a brief explanation from him better than no explanation at all. Maybe things would go badly but, then again, they were a great bunch of men, so maybe not. As much as Sean wanted to set things right with his teammates, Jackie had to come first right then. Since their 26

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foster mother had passed, he was the closest thing to family Jackie had. Sure, they had more than a dozen foster siblings but they all had families of their own. They were good people whom he was proud to know, but he was it for Jackie. And Jackie was it for him. He glanced back through the open doorway—not in indecision but because he couldn't help himself. He looked up at the feeling of Nelson's hand on his shoulder. "I won't tell them, like I said, but I'd be glad to let them know there's something you want to share when you're back," Nelson grinned as he said this, easily dodging the playful punch Sean threw his way. "Share—shit," Sean said. Nodding, he added, "Later." "Good choice, my man. See you in a few." With that, Nelson took his leave and Sean ducked back into the room, eager to check on Jacob. Jacob was much as Sean'd left him but his fingers were a bit twitchy. Grinning, Sean pulled his chair a bit closer to the side of the bed and got comfortable before slipping his fingers through Jacob's own. He squeezed them once before letting his head drop back to rest against the chair. Knowing his military training would allow him to wake at the slightest sound, he dropped off to sleep between one breath and the next. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Four The next few days passed in a blur for Jacob—due only in part to the blurred vision brought about by head trauma. As his sight continued to improve, Jacob floundered around, trying to find another reason to explain his mixed-up perception of time. So he did what he'd always done when confronted by a question of vast importance—he asked Sean. It was late afternoon when Sean phoned his room—he'd been back at the base for the past day or so, waiting for the go ahead to go wheels up. "Jackie, my man, how you feeling?" Damn, Sean still must be pretty worried to be so talkative. Usually all Jacob got as far as greetings went was "Jackie." Then he'd ramble on about nothing much, Sean's occasional grunts and sighs telling him all he needed to know. Jacob smiled, wincing as the movement caused his sore face to ache. "Pretty good, all things considered. Hey, what's it mean when everything around you's out of sync?" Sean hmm-ed him, signaling he was listening but needed to hear more. "One minute it feels like I'm in step with the world around me. The next, two steps behind. And the one after that? Light years ahead."

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He wanted to tell Sean it was starting to freak him out but he figured Sean knew from the way his voice shook just the tiniest bit. "Well?" There was silence from Sean's end of the phone but Jacob knew he was still there, mulling it over. "Trauma." "No shit I was traumatized." "You should talk." "I am talking about it." "To a professional." "No fucking way." The strength of his own reaction to Sean's suggestion startled him. He took special care not to cuss, knowing kids looked up to him and wanting to give them someone good to emulate. He tried not to even think cusswords because then they'd be harder to catch. He heard Sean sigh, strong enough he was almost surprised when his hair didn't move from the strength of Sean's breath. The silence between them started to feel heavy, Sean's concern weighing on him. He shouldn't have brought it up—Sean sure didn't need any distractions right before a mission. But he needed to talk about it, the words pressing on his tongue and tickling his brain. "You're right," he said, a small smile slipping across his face as he heard Sean's smug laugh across the phone lines. "Bring me back a postcard." It was his turn to laugh as Sean grumbled something and hung up, gone to save the world. 29

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Letting Sean go and not dragging him down with his own fears was hard at times—damn hard. But he had the ultimate faith in Sean's abilities to do the job Sean was trained for as well as an unwavering faith in a higher power to bring Sean back to him. 'Cause God knew he was nothing without Sean. If there ever came a day that Sean didn't come back to him, well. He shut that door firmly in his mind, refusing to dwell on what-ifs. As Sean had told him time and time again, he had plenty of real shit to deal with without going and making shit up to worry about. Speaking of which, it was time for him to suck it up and take care of his own responsibilities. He took a breath to clear his head, pleased when the number he sought came quickly to mind. The voice on the other end was deep and reassuring. "No, nothing's wrong," he said, the habits of a lifetime letting the words escape before he could stop them. "Actually, no, everything's not okay. You still have that number for the therapist you were telling me about?" **** The world went crazy, insanity popping up like wildfires and Sean's team doing their damnedest to stomp it out. The few times he saw Jacob during the months following his kidnapping and rescue seemed a huge before and after slideshow. Jacob's picture on the news. His battered body on the floor of the warehouse. His swollen face grinning at Sean in the hospital. His worried voice easily bringing to mind the frown 30

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that would accompany that tone. His relief as the physical therapist released him after a few cursory appointments. His forced grin as teammates welcomed him back to his first game. It was all there in Sean's mind's eye. Just as Jacob's voice saying he loved him continued to echo in his ears. The timing had been so wrong, what with Jacob needing to focus his energy on getting better and Sean needing to focus on doing his job and getting out alive. Now that things were relatively calm for both of them— surely, it was the calm before the storm in Sean's world, but at least it was calm. He'd take it. Now was their time. If only he could get through the little guard dog Jacob had hired, that is. She was definitely former law enforcement of some type, what with the way she carried herself. Blonde hair in a ponytail, dark slacks settled atop serviceable work shoes, hands planted on her slim hips, putting them within easy reach of her weapon. And she did have a weapon. There was no doubt in Sean's mind. "Look—" he began, only to be cut off by the shake of her head. "I don't care how big a fan you are, or want what you're selling, or—" It was her turn to be cut off. "I'm family." This time it was her laughter that cut him short. 31

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She eyed him up and down, slowly shaking her head before chuffing out a laugh. "Yeah, right. My brother, maybe. His, definitely not." Sean didn't bother to correct her. He'd said family, not brother, but letting others draw their own erroneous conclusions often paved the way for him to make headway in other situations "I'm Sean," he said, the conversation testing his social limits. He ran through the words in his head, picking and then discarding those he knew wouldn't convince her. But something in her expression stopped him cold. "What's wrong?" The look slipped from her face before he could accurately interpret it. He glanced from her closed expression to the beautiful mansion cum fortress behind her and nodded once before turning from the gate and walking away. He heard her say something but the words didn't register. He'd talked to Jacob a couple of days ago. He'd known Sean was coming for a visit. It wasn't like Jacob to blow him off. And it wasn't unreasonable to expect her to double-check with Jacob before denying him admittance. That meant, for whatever reason, Jacob couldn't confirm nor deny what Sean had told her. Or maybe he was being paranoid. He took a breath to clear his head, glanced once more at Jacob's home and slipped behind the wheel of his SUV. He made sure to squeal tires as he pulled away, wanting his departure to leave an impression. In the rearview mirror, he saw the guard dog shake her head and turn back toward the house. Knowing they'd be 32

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even more wary if he just gave up after the way he'd acted, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Jacob's number. He growled and snapped the phone shut when his call went straight to voicemail. He found a place to park before digging his kit out of the back. He grabbed his binoculars, a handful of zip cuffs and an extra round of ammunition, just in case. The Boy Scouts had nothing on him. While full dark was always preferable to full light, his gut wouldn't let him wait that long. It hadn't bothered him before that he'd not actually spoken to Jacob in two days but now it most definitely did. He brought their last conversation to mind, scanning it for any indication that Jacob might have been speaking under duress. Now that he thought about it, there had been a bit of forced lightness. A barely-there tension coming from Jacob. Sean hadn't made note of it because Jacob was always a bit tense. But this, this was more than worry about Sean making it back from a mission. What it was exactly, Sean couldn't say. But he was about to find out. He fought through the ivy growing along the far edge of Sean's property, found a toehold in the brick and climbed his way up. A quick glance showed this section to still be vulnerable from outside entry, which worked out great for Sean, but he still planned to ream Jacob a new one. He'd told the kid ages ago to fix it—cut back some of the overgrowth, install a camera on one of the nearby trees. 33

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Didn't matter now. He was over and inside in a matter of minutes. He wasn't so smug as to just stroll across the side yard but, God, he wanted to. As he made his way over to the house, he was pleased to see the trellis leading to Jacob's bedroom had been moved. The kid listened to him some of the time, at least. But that posed another stumbling block for him. Now he'd have to work his way through the house without being detected. He bit back a grin at the challenge. Ten minutes later he'd made his way through the cavernous house, carefully neutralizing the two men he'd encountered. He hadn't come across blondie yet, but as he cracked open the door to Jacob's bedroom, he heard her voice whispering to the still form on the bed. The heavy draperies were drawn, the only light that which managed to slip through gaps in the shades. He couldn't make out who, other than blondie, was in the room—her pony-tailed silhouette giving her away—but he thought it was probably Jacob. Hoped, really. The woman popped the cap on a bottle of pills and then reached for the glass of water on the bedside table. Knowing she was carrying, he carefully aimed his own weapon before stepping forward a few feet. The shadow on the bed seemed to look toward him. And then it spoke. "Sean! Tell this woman to leave me alone." That's when the room got really dark—for Sean, at any rate. 34

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[Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Five Jacob couldn't believe it. One minute Sean had been standing at the end of his bed with a gun pointed at his day nurse and the next Kimberly walked up behind him and knocked him out cold. He was so groggy from all the medicine they'd given him he hadn't been able to warn Sean in time. Despite his weakened condition, he pushed his nurse away and climbed out of bed. Lightheaded from lack of food—this damn stomach bug had really hit him hard—he staggered to Sean's prone form and collapsed beside him. Frantic, he ran his hands over Sean's scalp, the short blond strands tickling his palms, but couldn't find a lump or detect any blood. Rearing back to rest his butt on his heels, he angled his head back and glared at Kimberly, his bodyguard. "What the hell did you do that for?" The look she gave him said he was an idiot and then some. Finally she replied, "He was pointing a gun at you." "No, he wasn't," he said, flinging a hand in the direction of his nurse, who had rushed over to help him check on Sean. "He was pointing it at her." Glancing from one blonde woman to the other, he added, "Probably thought it was you." "Now, why would you say that?" she asked, propping her hands on her hips, her stance aggressive. 36

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Jacob was not impressed. "Knowing Sean, he tried to get in to see me. Knowing you, you turned him away. That pissed him off." Sean still hadn't moved, hadn't so much as twitched. The shock—or the adrenaline, more like—had helped to clear his head. He pushed the nurse's hands out of the way so he could check Sean's vitals himself. She huffed and gestured with her hands as if to say "have it your way." He was just lucid enough to realize he was acting like an idiot but upset enough that Sean was hurt not to care. "Why isn't he waking up?" he asked. Hands balling into fists on his thighs he felt himself losing it. "Do something!" "What do you want me to do? She's the nurse," Kimberly said, a slight smirk making its way across her lips. He'd chosen her for her attitude. And now he was going to kill her because of it. He lurched to his feet, his fingers flexing into fists at his sides as he stepped toward her. "You did this! You fix it!" he said, screaming the last at the top of his lungs. "Fix it! Fix it! Fix—" "You can't be that sick if you're able to yell like that," a gruff voice broke in. Jacob once again dropped to his knees beside Sean. His hands were gentle as he rubbed one against the top of Sean's head and the other over his chest, as though soothing a small child. "Hey, you. Maybe next time you should call first." Jacob watched in amazement as a tide of red swept its way up Sean's neck to settle in the tips of his ears. 37

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He jerked back a bit at the glare Sean shot his way. "I did," he bit out, pushing Jacob's hands away and sitting up. "Two days ago. You said great. But she—" at this he pointed a finger Kimberly's way "-wouldn't let me in. Explain." Jacob had to force himself to swallow, sensing it was more than injured pride at stake for Sean to break in to see him. "Didn't she tell you I'm sick? Contagious even. I didn't want you to get sick." "Actually," Kimberly broke in, "he's not on your list so I couldn't tell him anything." "List? What list?" he asked, his gaze locking with Kimberly's in time to see her mouth twitch. "Kimberly—what list?" He felt Sean tense beside and knew the other man had picked up on his unease. Sean slowly climbed to his feet, reclaiming his gun and holstering it along the way. He reached down and helped Jacob up, ignoring the nurse's outstretched hand. She got up under her own steam and, glancing among them, announced that she needed a cigarette to settle her nerves. She carefully pulled the door to behind her. Jacob felt Sean settle a hand at his waist to steady him and took a deep breath. When the room started to sway around him, he realized that hadn't been his best idea to date. "Bed," he croaked, grateful when Sean helped him over to lie down. "Don't you go anywhere." Kimberly hesitated, her hand on the doorknob. He watched her head dip side to side as though she were arguing with 38

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herself and relaxed when her shoulders slumped. Slowly, she turned to face them. Sean remained standing by his side. He wanted to reach over and squeeze his hand in thanks but didn't want to distract him. Not that he thought Kimberly was a danger to them but he needed Sean clearheaded enough to think for both of them as he felt the illness wearing on him again. "Talk fast, Kimbo. Or walk. Your choice." She heaved a sigh and stared intently at the cuticles on her right hand, mumbling something under her breath. "What? We can't hear you." She threw a glare their way before clearing her throat and dropping her hands to her hips. "I said, your agent and the team manager came up with a list of approved visitors. He's not on it." "Get me a copy of this list," he said, glaring at her when she opened her mouth. "Now!" She flinched and hustled out of the room, whether to get him the list or call someone, he couldn't say for sure. Exhaustion threatened to drag him down but he fought it. He felt useless tears welling up in his eyes and fought them, too, but less successfully. "Damn it," he hissed, wiping his face with the edge of his sheet. "I had no idea they'd been screening my visitors." "Calls, too." "Shit," he said. He glanced sideways at Sean before scooting his legs over and patting the bed beside his hip. "Sorry you had to go through all that. How's your head?" 39

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Sean walked to the door and threw the lock before taking the proffered seat at his side. He shook his head and gestured with his hand, as though pushing the question away. "Ok. Well, then how's the rest of the world these days? All flowers and rainbows?" This earned him a grimace and the barest trace of a smile. He started to smile back but a stomach cramp caused him to frown instead. Sean reached for the bottle of pills on his nightstand, reading the label before popping the top and tipping one out into his palm. Jacob turned his head to the side, refusing the pill Sean held to his lips. "I've got to get this mess straightened out first. Those things make me loopy. I'll take one later." But Sean persisted until he finally decided trying to work through the side effects of the drug would be easier than denying Sean. "Ugh! God! Water, man. Please." Sean handed him the glass of water and he washed it all down, bad taste, side effects and all. He grabbed Sean's wrist as the other man started to rise. "Please stay." Sean looked at him and nodded, gently reaching out and pushing the hair out of his eyes. Carefully, Jacob eased over until there was enough room for Sean to lie down beside him. Just as they were getting settled he lurched upright on one elbow. "Wait! You'll get sick, too." Sean rolled his eyes and tugged Jacob's head back down to rest on his chest. His fingers tangled in Sean's shirt of their 40

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own accord and he drifted off to sleep with the steady beat of Sean's heart in his ears. **** Sean wrapped one arm around the kid's back and pulled the other up to rest at an angle beside his head. He felt for a lump on his head and couldn't find one. Whatever she'd done had knocked him out lickety-split, no question. What he wanted to know was how. But that was for another time. Right this very moment he wanted to know what the kid's business associates had been thinking. To try to block him out of the kid's life. That's some serious shit, in his book. At least the kid was okay. He'd checked the label—they were only giving him a mild muscle relaxant. He guessed they'd already used up the antibiotics and the kid was on the mend again. Seemed like he only ever saw the kid in trouble lately. Best change that before it became any more of a habit than it already was. Blondie'd seemed torn. Like maybe she didn't agree with the powers that be but wasn't willing or able to buck them without Jacob's say so. Now that Jacob was on the mend, maybe she'd come 'round. Kid seemed pretty attached to her so for his sake, he sure hoped so. The kid snuggled into his side a bit more, fingers flexing on the fabric caught in his grip. Sean soothed him, rubbing his hand up and down the kid's back. The gentle motion worked and the kid eased off. 41

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Which left him once again picking through his thoughts. After going over the same questions in his mind, he decided to let it go for now. He'd have to wait to get the answers he sought. Once the kid woke up, they'd powwow before confronting the powers that be. The kid wouldn't be up for anything much for another couple of days. In the meantime he'd have his people do a little digging of their own. Make sure everyone was still on the up and up. On the heels of this little welcome home, he doubted it. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Six Sean was pleasantly surprised to learn Jacob's agent and team manager had been guilty of nothing more than trying to weed out people they thought might be harming Jacob's image. The kidnapper's hateful words regarding the homosexual lifestyle had made it out into the world, causing the media to throw a spotlight on Jacob's relationships. Sean could appreciate their desire to protect Jacob from other psychos and sickos but he most definitely did not appreciate being blacklisted. And Jacob knew it. Which was why he was ripping his two business associates a new one from the comfort of his home office. Sean stood behind and to the side of Jacob as the other man vented, gently resting a hand on Jacob's shoulder when he started to repeat himself. The other two men in the room hemmed and hawed before apologizing to Sean and promising Jacob they'd never try anything like it again. Once they took their leave, Sean went over to lock the door before dropping into a chair on the other side of the desk. "Better?" Jacob paused, the fingers of one hand frozen in the action of pushing his thick hair out of his eyes, and looked at Sean from under his lashes. "Too much?" 43

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Sean considered his question carefully before shaking his head. Jacob's shoulders slumped. "I hated to do that but it needed to be done." Sean shrugged. "I'm not a child. They have no right to tell me who I can and cannot see. In any sense of the word." At the last bit Sean raised his eyebrows, the rest of him statue still. Jacob's look was a defiant one. He raised his own eyebrows. "What?" Sean narrowed his eyes and Jacob caved, covering his face with his hands and groaning. "I hate that look. No, I really hate that look. Ever since I was little, you could get me to do whatever you wanted when you looked at me like that." Sean felt surprised and it must have shown, too, because Jacob started explaining. "I mean, it was never anything bad. Well, to me it was bad, but never anything more than making me redo my homework or shorten my ball practice when the weather turned ugly. Still, that's the look that does it for me." Sean just looked at him, his face a blank mask. "Scared me into acting right." Jacob once again looked at Sean through his lashes, his fingers picking at the edge of the blotter on his desk. "Not bad-scared." "Good-scared?" Sean asked, his confusion plain in his voice if not evident on his face. 44

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"Well, yeah. I mean, a little scared can be exciting." Sean thought about this for a minute before smiling. "No need to look so smug. You've always done it for me. Don't you know that?" **** Jacob wanted to look up and see how Sean had taken his words but he just couldn't. Fear of rejection held him immobile. If this man turned him down again, he didn't think he'd ever find the courage another time. For a moment Sean just sat there, tense and still. Jacob felt a grimace tug at the corner of his mouth and fought to smooth his expression out. He jumped at the feeling of his chair being tilted back and jerked his head back to look Sean in the eyes. He felt the tension ease out of his bones, leaving him to melt into the seat. He swallowed once and opened his mouth to say something but his mind went blank. Helpless and horny, he waited. When he didn't say anything, Sean did. "Good." And then, heaven. Sean swooped down and covered Jacob's mouth with his own. The kiss was soft but not tentative, hot without being overwhelming. Jacob had a feeling he'd love to have Sean overwhelm him—but later. Not their first time together. And he so hoped this would be their first time together. **** 45

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Sean braced one hand on the back of Jacob's chair and the other near Jacob's hands on the blotter, close enough to rub his thumb over the back of one of Jacob's hands. This was what he'd been waiting for, planning for, for ages. Now that they both had a few days of downtime and business was taken care of, he was more than ready to take their relationship to the next level. When he'd first arrived, he'd thought they'd have to put this off 'til their next visit, what with Jacob's illness and professional matters taking his attention and using up all his energy. But Jacob was better and work was done. Time for some serious playing. Ever since Jacob had been kidnapped, more like since he'd been rescued, really, Sean had worried that he'd misinterpreted Jacob's loving words. So Sean had been careful to feel Jacob out without feeling him up. God, what a challenge that had been. But he'd seen the looks Jacob had thrown his way when Jacob thought he wasn't looking. And he'd felt the ghostly caresses Jacob had given him in passing. Just as he'd been aware of Jacob looking in on him when he thought Sean was sleeping these past few days. A direct question would have worked to clear up the situation. Or rather, if it had been anyone other Jacob. But with their history, he didn't trust Jacob to tell him no if he thought it was something Sean wanted. 46

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So it was with relief that Sean heard Jacob say he'd always done it for him. Now it was time to do it to him. Ho, boy. And how. Sean had never been much for kissing. Fucking a guy, sure. Kissing, not so much. Too personal, somehow more personal than the other. But with Jacob, it was perfect. Too personal and not personal enough, all at the same time. He slowly eased his mouth open, tongue snaking out to run along Jacob's lips. The faintest hint of afternoon stubble tickled his tongue, prompting him to bite and nibble at the corners of Jacob's mouth. He dragged his mouth along Jacob's jaw line, taking one earlobe between his teeth and nipping lightly. At Jacob's groan he moved on, eager to taste the rest of him. He paid special attention to Jacob's throat, laving Jacob's Adam's apple and burying his lips at the base of Jacob's throat. Sean had to lean up in order to pull Jacob's shirt from his slacks and tug it off and over his head, dropping it to the floor behind him. At this, Jacob seemed to snap out of his trance and reached for Sean's own shirt, prompting him to grab Jacob's hands and place them on his waist. "Not yet." "But—" Sean didn't repeat himself, simply shaking his head and holding Jacob's hands still under his own until Jacob decided to settle. Sensing Jacob's capitulation, he ran his hands up 47

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Jacob's arms, squeezing the muscles he found along the way, stopping at Jacob's shoulders. Dark brown hair dusted the backs of Jacob's hands and forearms, providing a wonderful visual contrast to Sean's own tanned skin and sun-bleached hair. He ran his hands down Jacob's chest but stopped when he came to Jacob's nipples. Gently, he pinched and teased them into hard points before giving each a little tug. Once they were hard, he ran the edge of his thumbnail along them. The ridge of muscles leading down Jacob's chest was covered in a smattering of dark hair, sparse on his pecs and denser as it reached his bellybutton and below. Their breathing was loud in the still room but his heartbeat was louder yet. Of all the missions he'd been on and all the life threatening situations he'd faced, nothing had ever rattled him like the reality of Jacob under his hands. He reached down and placed his hands under Jacob's armpits, carefully guiding Jacob to his feet. The dress belt slipped easily through the loops on Jacob's pants before it made its way to the floor behind him. His pants were next. A tremble worked its way through him to be mirrored in Jacob's own form. He eased pants and underpants down Jacob's thighs, making sure he didn't touch anything else along the way. Standing straight once again, he turned them until Jacob's hips rested on the blotter where his hands had been. Jacob still had hold of Sean's waist, so he reached down and pried 48

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them loose, wordlessly directing Jacob to leave them gripping the desk by his hips. The whole time he'd been baring Jacob's form he felt Jacob's eyes on him, no doubt taking in his ragged breathing and trembling hands. Reaching out to grip Jacob's cock in one hand and his balls in the other, Sean finally brought his gaze back to meet Jacob's. Sean grinned as Jacob sagged a bit, eyes rolling back in his head. "That's it," he said, squeezing and pumping the hard flesh with his hands. A bead of pre-come leaked out and Sean was quick to spread it around. Leaning down, he tongued Jacob's nipples, one after the other, before settling in to suck one. He wrapped his lips around his teeth before biting down, chuffing a laugh at Jacob's groan. "God, you're easy." Jacob huffed out a breath, "Only for you." Sean smiled before licking his way back up Jacob's chest, his hands never still. He needed to grab the sample of lube he'd dropped in his pocket this morning—he'd been hoping, that was all—but couldn't make himself release his willing captive. Finally, concern that he'd make Jacob too sore to play again later made him let go long enough to find the lube and condom.

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Tossing the condom onto the desk beside Jacob's hip, he worked the top off of the lube and squeezed a bit onto his fingers. He smeared some along Jacob's dick, making sure to leave some to play with Jacob's hole. Jacob jerked and said, "What makes you think I'm gonna be the catcher?" Sean laughed aloud at that and looked Jacob in the eye as he teased Jacob's rim before working a finger in. He grinned at the look of bliss that crossed Jacob's face. "Aren't you?" Jacob couldn't or wouldn't reply, only offering a groan for Sean to interpret as he would. Sean rested his free hand on Jacob's hip, his eyes tracking the white knuckles gripping the edge of the desk and the play of muscles under Jacob's dusky skin as they flexed and released, riding his finger in ecstasy. Gently, he worked a second finger in, seeking that special place inside Jacob that would increase his pleasure tenfold. He knew when he found it because Jacob lurched up onto his toes and grabbed Sean's wrist with one hand. "Jesus!" "Nope. Sean." A few more thrusts had Jacob babbling like a baby, his words gibberish and senseless. Sean eased his fingers free and tore open the condom. Jacob fought his belt free and worked his slacks loose, hands tangling with Sean's own as they fought to free Sean's dick. 50

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Finally, he was covered. Knowing it would be an easier ride if Jacob bent over the desk, Sean didn't argue when Jacob laid back instead and propped one heel on the desk and the other on the chair behind them, giving Sean as much access as he could in this position. Sean glanced over his shoulder, relieved to see the wall behind the desk would hold the chair in place and returned his attention to the matter at hand. He swallowed once and shook his head, overcome by his feelings for this man. "God, Jacob—" he began, only to lose his words. He shook his head again before leaning down and resting his forehead against Jacob's own. He closed his eyes at the feeling of Jacob's fingers running over his scalp. "I know. Me, too, yeah?" Sean managed to nod but that was it. He felt tears prick the backs of his eyes, but no shame. Never with Jacob. Carefully he lined up, one hand braced on the desk beside Jacob's hip, the other guiding his cock to Jacob's hole. His eyes met Jacob's as he let his weight do the work for them, joining them together in this ultimate act of love. Air billowed in and out of his lungs as he sank balls-deep. Jacob arched, impaled on his dick, and groaned. If he hadn't known better he'd have sworn Jacob was in pain. But it was definitely pleasure rippling along his dick. He watched as Jacob struggled not to come and, once Jacob settled down, began thrusting, his free hand pulling at Jacob's cock. Long, steady thrusts that drug every inch of him 51

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along every inch of Jacob. Doing his damnedest to mesh them together permanently. In and out he went, his pace steadily picking up until his movements more closely resembled a full-bodied lunge than the gentle movements of lovemaking. From the way Jacob was carrying on, he didn't mind in the least. "More! God, yes! Please! Sean, don't stop!" "Not stopping." "Never!" He felt that tell-tale tingle race down his spine and settle in his balls and knew he was close. He increased the pace, making sure to rub over the head of Jacob's own dick with his thumb, gently pressing against the slit. The feel of Jacob coming pushed him over the edge, his shout echoing from the corners of the room. He spent into the condom, deep in Jacob's ass, just as the other man shot all over their stomachs and chests. He'd never got around to taking his shirt and suit coat off but couldn't be bothered to care at this point. A couple more squeezes milked the last of Jacob's come from his body. Raising his hand to his lips, he licked traces of Jacob's seed from his fingers, knowing the other man was clean from the health report left lying on Jacob's desk. Convenient, that. His dick slid free as he took a step back, easing the condom off and disposing of it in the trashcan under the desk. 52

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He tugged his pants and shorts up before slumping back in the chair and pulling Jacob down to rest in his lap. **** Jacob figured he'd be coming down from that high for years to come. He laughed to himself at his own pun, fingers once again tangling in Sean's shirt. He'd known they'd be amazing together. Even if Sean had done all the work. This time, at any rate. This man was his everything. He'd never felt so complete before, not even when it was just the two of them hanging out. Something had always been missing. As the final piece of their relationship slipped into place, Jacob couldn't help but laugh, the sound pure joy. Looking around the office, he said, "All the times we've slept together in a bed and the first time we fuck, it's on a desk." He felt Sean's silent laughter against his cheek and smiled to himself. The secure feeling of Sean's arms wrapped around him made him feel like nothing else ever would. He settled in, eager to fall asleep to the sound of his lover's heartbeat.

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