Hidden Impact by Adrianna Dane
Amber Quill Press www.amberquill.com
Copyright ©2008 by Adrianna Dane
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Hidden Impact by Adrianna Dane
Amber Quill Press www.amberquill.com
Copyright ©2008 by Adrianna Dane
NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution to any person via email, floppy disk, network, print out, or any other means is a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines and/or imprisonment. This notice overrides the Adobe Reader permissions which are erroneous. This eBook cannot be legally lent or given to others. This eBook is displayed using 100% recycled electrons.
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Hidden Impact by Adrianna Dane
CONTENTS Also By Adrianna Dane CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 4 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 6 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 8 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 11 CHAPTER 12 CHAPTER 13 Adrianna Dane Amber Quill's Rewards Program ****
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Hidden Impact by Adrianna Dane
HIDDEN IMPACT BY ADRIANNA DANE **** ISBN 978-1-60272-233-0 Amber Quill Press, LLC www.amberquill.com
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Hidden Impact by Adrianna Dane
Also By Adrianna Dane Esmerelda's Secret The Exile: Carved In Memory The Exile: A Seductive Tale Fertility Rite Graphic Liaisons If You Dare... I Want Images Of Desire Immortal Treasure Jebediah's Promise Jewel Of Niveka Legend Of The Beesinger The Lion and The Rose 5
Hidden Impact by Adrianna Dane
Mariposa Soul The Midas Bride Nights In White Satin No Choice Primal Magic: Scent Primal Magic: Swan's Lake Realm Of The Ice God Ruthless Acts Sequestered Passion Smooth Finish Sully's Heart [Back to Table of Contents]
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CHAPTER 1 Growling with frustration, Reed erased the line he had just drawn. It wasn't right. Nothing about it was right. "I'm sorry, Reed." He stiffened at the sound of the contrite voice. Then he forced himself to relax and lean back in the Adirondack chair, releasing the breath that tightened his chest. He tried to keep his concentration on the drawing and not on the argument he and his lover had been involved in just an hour ago. Drew had stalked out of the cabin, slamming the door behind him. It left Reed wondering if he planned to come back. But what Drew had done still wasn't right. Then again, none of it was. But how could he tell Drew that? Especially now. If he looked at him, it would all go to hell. Better that he just keep his eye on the drawing and his thoughts buried away. "Did you hear me? I said I was sorry." "I know you are," he answered Drew in a quiet, restrained voice, far different from the anger-laced tone earlier in the evening. Still trying to concentrate on the drawing pad resting on his slanted thighs, he tried to divert a continuation of their earlier ... discussion. How could Drew ever understand that Reed's entire life rested on keeping their relationship secret? Drew dropped to the redwood deck next to Reed's chair. He grabbed the pencil, broke it in two, and tossed it over his shoulder. Then he yanked the drawing pad away and shot it over the edge of the deck. 7
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Reed curled his hands into fists and finally looked at the younger man. "What do you want from me?" "I want you to love me enough not to care who knows it." "I wish it were that easy. You know it's not." "Dad wouldn't fire you. I wouldn't let him." Reed snorted. "You really think he'd condone us being lovers openly? That he'd want everyone to know about us? For God's sake, my wife and I used to see them socially all the time before she died. Do you honestly believe he'd understand what's happened between us? I'm not even sure I understand it." Drew cupped Reed's face and forced Reed to look him in the eye. God, Drew had such beautiful green eyes. He'd never noticed how beautiful they were until that moment two years ago. It was a green that reminded him of the cool forest some days, of the deep, mysterious Amazon on others. Which brought to mind the hikes their two families used to take into the mountains. Of clean mountain lakes. Of family and children. Of a way of life he was about to turn his back on if he were the least bit honest with himself. How had he gotten here? How had Reed allowed himself to become his boss's son's lover? "Don't shut me out, Reed. Talk to me. My dad knows I'm gay. I think he'd take it better than you think. You aren't all that much older than me you know." "You don't think sixteen years is a damn big difference? You don't think he'd care that I'm his son's lover?" "You were a teenager when you and Carla had Mark." Drew's head dropped closer. "I don't care about the age 8
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difference, you know that." His lips met Reed's and it was the same earth-shattering experience it had been two years before. Reed's dick hardened and his blood steamed. He couldn't help gripping Drew's shoulders and drawing the man closer, pressing his body tightly against him as though the man might be ripped out of his life at any moment. Drew's arms slipped around Reed's waist, his fingers sliding down to cup his ass. "I can't lose you," Drew whispered. "I'm sorry I told Lenore the truth about us. But she's my sister and she won't tell anyone else. I just couldn't stand the secrecy any longer. I had to confide in someone." "You know she'll tell Laura. She and Laura were as close as sisters when they were growing up. It's going to spiral out of control." Drew's grip tightened. "She swore she wouldn't tell. She won't say a thing until you—we're ready." The look he gave Reed begged for his forgiveness, but it also said he wouldn't let it slide. Not this time. "You know the truth is going to have to come out eventually." Reed shook his head. His cock shoved painfully against the front of his shorts. Drew's fingers kneading his ass made it harder and harder for him to stay angry. He had to remain focused on the conversation. It was important that Drew understand the dangers involved in outing their relationship without some careful thought. "Even if your father accepted it, do you really think my kids would? They loved and respected their mother. How do you think they're going to take it? I was married to Carla for more than twenty years. For all they knew, I was straight 9
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arrow as they came and devoted to her. And now I'm not? Now I'm gay? Just like that? You don't think that's going to shake the foundations of their world?" One of Drew's hands moved to cover Reed's crotch, stroking along the steel-hard length that was growing more aroused with each touch. "You know what we have is what you want. You've confided in me what it was like for you. The nights you haunted the gay bars." "But I never did anything." "But you wanted to, didn't you?" "I couldn't do that to Carla. She didn't deserve it." Drew slipped his hand inside Reed's shorts and cupped his balls, and Reed groaned. He was fighting a losing battle with his lover. He wanted to do the right thing, he just couldn't decide what that was. Drew stroked back up over the tip of Reed's cock. Both of them were already breathing harder, knowing what would come next. Reed wanted it so badly. "When was the first time? When did you know?" Drew nuzzled his lips against the pulse in Reed's neck. "I told you. It was after the football game at the end of my senior year. Carla and I had broken up and I went to a party without her. He was beautiful and we shared a beer or two. Maybe three. Then went upstairs." "You're making me hot. Lift up." Reed raised his hips and Drew pulled his shorts down his legs and threw them across the deck. "I like that you don't wear underwear while we're up here." He slid down Reed's body, his lips and tongue 10
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stroking over the head of Reed's cock, allowing it to slip inside his mouth. Reed arched and spread his legs. Drew's mouth was like sinking into heaven. His glistening prick popped out of Drew's mouth and he looked up at Reed. "Keep talking. Tell me about that time when you were younger." Reed dropped back into the chair as Drew went down on him with all the passion that made him so hot and needy. He didn't want to lose what he had with Drew. He loved him. But his life was so complicated, so many pieces that needed to be woven together. There was such a delicate balance to be maintained. What if his children didn't understand? How do you share with your children a lifetime's yearning for the touch of another man? How did you tell your boss you were in love with his son? And then all thoughts of responsibility and family left his head as Drew's wet lips sucked his rigid prick into his mouth once again. The problems drifted away at the intent concentration of his lover. For now he would simply sink into the pleasure of being loved by Drew. [Back to Table of Contents]
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CHAPTER 2 He loved the taste of Reed. He savored the feel of his lover's hard flesh between his lips. He sucked Reed's cock deep into his mouth. The one way to get Reed's mind off his sense of responsibility was to drive the man crazy with his mouth. Just like Drew was doing right now. The fear of losing Reed was like being poised at the edge of a cliff about to be pushed off, and no net waiting below. He shouldn't have confided in Lenore, but he simply couldn't help himself. He loved Reed so much and was so afraid of losing him. He had needed to talk to someone. His last lover, Caleb, walking out on Drew when he was at his lowest ebb certainly hadn't helped his confidence. When Drew had put that part of his life behind him and agreed to join his father's firm, he'd never expected to meet the love of his life in the form of his best friend's father. He glanced up at Reed as his tongue swirled over the hot, stiff erection. He watched the ecstasy fill Reed's expression, heard the growl emitting from deep in his throat. Reed's eyes were now closed as he leaned back, enjoying the attention of his lover. This man was perfect for him. He balanced him. Where Drew always leaned toward independence and adventure, reaching past his limits, forever reaching, Reed was laid back and reliable. Where Drew was ready to head off half-cocked sometimes, Reed was the one who was cautious and patient. 12
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They complimented each other in ways it was hard to understand. They spoke to each other without words. He drew his tongue up along the length of the thick, purple, engorged cock, swirling beneath the flared head, dipping his tongue into the weeping slit, tasting Reed's precum. He should have gone for the condoms, but it wasn't something he was going to worry about—not just yet. He wasn't planning to let Reed come for a long time. It was Reed who needed to keep the secret of their love, still afraid of what Mark and his siblings would think. Worried about his livelihood, everything he'd worked for to keep food on the table, and a roof over his family's head. Concerned about what people would think, those in particular who had been friends with his wife. Reed had spent his whole life being concerned about appearance, hiding his true nature even from himself. Drew knew it would come hard for him to publicly accept that the people who really loved him wouldn't censure him for being gay. It was a lesson he'd had to learn himself. But he knew at Reed's age, it was going to be hard to let go. There were times when he wished he were older, wiser than his years. He wished he'd been the one to introduce Reed to male love. But hadn't it really been him who had done so after so many years of abstinence for Reed? The man had effectively closed that door when Reed married Carla, and never looked back. But Drew knew, from what little Reed had shared with him, it hadn't been as easy as he wanted everyone to think. 13
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When Drew fucked Reed that first time, his hole had been so damned tight. Just like a virgin. He'd worked his ass so carefully for a very long time. It's a good thing they were the last ones in the office that night because he'd taken his time with Reed. Just like he planned to do this afternoon. He remembered how Reed's whole body had trembled when he'd finally begged Drew to take him. Right there, on the office couch. Drew hadn't expected it and they hadn't even locked the office door. But it was late. And they'd been celebrating. And Drew could have cared less who walked in on them, because fucking Reed had been the most stupendous experience of his life. Just like now. Every time they were together was no less passionate, no less exciting. Even with Caleb he'd grown bored after a while. But never with Reed. Not even after two years of clandestine meetings. He gazed down at the glistening prick, his fingers sifted through the silky hairs, trailing downward to cup his balls. He was beautiful, so damned beautiful. Dipping down, he sucked his testicles into his mouth, delving between them with his tongue, sucking and slurping with pleasure. He wanted him wet and ready when he fucked him. His own cock pressed against the front of his running shorts. Hard and hot and pulsing to be buried inside Reed's ass once again. To even think of losing Reed was more than he could handle. It was certainly something he hoped he would never have to face. 14
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Reed groaned and Drew knew he was almost ready. Allowing Reed's testicles to pop out of his mouth, he moved lower, shifted Reed higher and slicked a line with his tongue along his crack, teasing briefly at his puckered hole. Reaching inside his shorts, he grabbed his own throbbing prick and began to stroke. Oh, baby, yeah, that's it. He was going to come if he wasn't careful. Right there before they got any further. His time spent with Reed was always phenomenal. And working in the same office with him kept him hard and throbbing even when he couldn't touch him. It was like the anticipation before a game, except the adrenalin pumped through him again and again, every single day. And he wanted to draw it out, to lick and feast on Reed's body for hours, to keep them both teetering at the brink of release. The anticipation building higher and higher, knowing that the explosion was going to send them both into outer space when they finally allowed it to happen. But not yet, not just yet. He was going to take great pleasure in prolonging the sweet agony. Again he sucked Reed's prick, now leaking pre-cum steadily. He swirled his tongue through the juices of his lover. Reed thrust his hips and Drew tried to take him as deep as possible, relaxing his throat. Again, Reed cried out. There were a couple of tricks that Caleb had taught him and he used every bit of his knowledge on Reed. He glanced up at his lover. "Talk to me, baby." And then Drew devoured his rock-hard prick once again. [Back to Table of Contents] 15
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CHAPTER 3 Reed stroked Drew's short-cropped, thick, blond hair. "He was a football star. Built like you. Solid and tough. When I walked in the door, he handed me the first cold can of beer. Damn, I remember the taste of the Bud. I chugged it down like water. It tasted so good. We'd won the game that night and everyone was riding cloud nine. And then he handed me another cold one, one he'd already taken a sip from. I remember thinking about that for the length of a breath before taking it. Our fingers brushed against each other and there was an electric intensity that surprised me. It lasted for all of a second and then we moved over to the couch in the living room." Drew's hands were fastened around his thighs, his thumbs drawing lazy circles at the apex. His lover's tongue lapped at the tower of cock filling his mouth. It felt so good. Drew's dark green gaze was fastened on Reed's face as he released the glistening length from his mouth. His lips were wet and puffy red, perfect for kissing. "Keep talking. What was his name?" Drew's hand traveled up and down the length of his saliva-soaked cock. "M-Mack. His name was Mack Hansen." "Good name. Go on with the story." Drew turned his attention now to bathing Reed's balls. Reed thrust his hips, lifted his legs, to give him better access. "After the third beer we were in a pretty good haze and I suddenly realized how attractive I found him. He was so big, 16
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lean bronzed skin, copper-colored eyes, hair black and glossy as a blackbird's wing. He said he'd been watching me for a long time. I remembered wanting to see him bare-chested, to touch that wall of iron that passed for a chest and feel those rock-hard biceps he used to perfection on the playing field. I never once thought of Carla that night. Never once questioned what I was feeling for Mack." "Then what happened?" Drew's hands were again stroking along the sensitive skin of his inner thighs. The morning sun beat down, warming him, a slight, cool breeze flicked across his aroused skin. Talking about his first time wasn't titillating only to Drew. Reed might have been drunk that night, and it might have been more than twenty years ago, but he remembered it like it was yesterday. Did one ever forget their first night of true passion? The night everything became so clear to him. "I thought for a minute he was going to kiss me and I realized I wanted him to. He didn't, but he asked me to go upstairs with him. He was obviously less drunk than I was and realized we were sitting in a room full of our classmates, who I doubted would have understood if he had kissed me right there. But they didn't seem to notice when we left the room and went up the stairs into one of the bedrooms on the second floor. It was his bedroom and it seemed so natural for me to be there with him." He looked down at Drew who was sucking delightfully on his testicles, making loud slurping sounds and murmurs of pleasure. Carefully, he lifted him away. "The lounge chair," he growled. Drew grinned up at him. 17
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"I'm going inside first to get the goods." Reed chuckled. He watched Drew as he quickly rose and headed inside the rental cabin. Drew had been the one to reserve the cabin. It was surrounded by trees, giving just the sort of privacy they liked. This was their second vacation together. He wasn't certain what Drew had told his father about where he was going this time. Lifting up from the deck chair, he walked over to the padded lounger, fisting his hard, needy cock that was now pointing directly at the sky. His balls were heavy and swinging as he settled onto the lounge chair, which had been warmed by the sun. It was wider than most chairs and they'd already determined it accommodated them both nicely. He looked up when he heard the sliding door open. He smiled when he saw Drew had shucked his shorts as well and his prick bobbed with strutting pride in the golden sunlight. Drew carried the box of condoms and a tube of lubricant. Reed had remembered to purchase several boxes of rubbers before they'd left the city. Drew liked variety, so as well as the regular ones, he'd picked up flavored and lubricated. He was obviously just as aroused as Reed was by the look of his proud erection. He dropped the boxes and tube on the deck and climbed onto the lounge chair, stretching out beside Reed. His warm body fit so perfectly, cocks rubbing together erotically. He lifted a leg and Drew nudged his knee tightly against Reed's balls and Reed locked him in. Drew placed a hand on Reed's hip and slid it back to cup a bare cheek. Reed leaned forward and kissed him, a long lingering, curlyour-toes sort of lip-lock. Drew's lids fluttered closed as he 18
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sank into the kiss, his tongue tangling with Reed's. For a long time they just lay there, necking and cuddling. Sometimes Reed thought this was what he liked best about these moments alone with Drew. Especially when they went out of town together. Usually it was just for a stolen weekend, but this time it would be for a week-long vacation, and they had all the time in the world to enjoy each other. The only sounds were the red sapsuckers calling to each other and the water lapping against the sandy shore, the sweep of cedar branches as the wind played among the foliage. The aroma of pine and fresh, moist earth flirted with his senses. He brushed a hand along Drew's rib cage, traveling down over his narrow hip and sweeping back up, curving around to trace along the length of his spine. He loved the feel of the man, his flesh young and resilient. He remembered what it had been like to be twenty-nine. He'd finally finished college and had landed the job of his dreams with the Sanborn Architectural Firm. Drew pulled back and looked at Reed. His gaze was dilated and filled with desire. He reached down to enclose Reed's cock with his hand, brushing the pad of his thumb over the tip, making Reed shudder. "Finish the story," he said as he shifted, allowing Reed to lie back on the chair and Drew spread over his body. He wasn't certain his brain was clear enough to remember what happened next. He wanted Drew to fuck him. He was ready to come right now in Drew's hand, but his lover stopped stroking him. 19
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"I want to hear how he fucked you, lover. I want to know about your first time." Drew reached down to the deck for the tube of lubricant. [Back to Table of Contents]
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CHAPTER 4 Drew loved listening to Reed's voice. It made him so hot to hear him relate the story about his first time with a guy. But he also loved listening to him in meetings. The man was an enigma. On the outside he looked so cool and composed. His blue eyes were quiet, reminding Drew of calm, pale winter skies. It was that quiet strength that had Drew hanging on his every word when Drew had first started working with his father's company. He hadn't been certain the job at the architectural firm was the right move, but he'd gone ahead and done it anyway. What did he have to lose? His football career was shot to hell because of the shattered kneecap he'd suffered during that last pivotal game. He already had the schooling and his love life was pretty well blown, Caleb not liking the role of nurse. In the end there'd been no reason for Drew to look back, no other options for him to consider, particularly after the downward spiral he'd taken when Caleb had walked out. But little had he known what the fates had in store for him. Until he'd walked into Reed's office and everything seemed to fall into place. It wasn't his friend Mark's father he saw standing there. It was the most handsome, exciting man he'd met in a long time. That for his first project his father had teamed him up with Reed was almost a wet-dream come true. He was attracted to Reed from the very start, but as far as he knew Reed was totally straight and he'd never cross that 21
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line. Not unless he was invited. And the invitation better be loud and clear. Too darn much hidden impact if Drew read the signals wrong. With a stranger he might give it a shot, but especially with Reed Parr he had to be careful. Reed was not only his best friend's father, but Drew's father's employee. It was a tightrope of twisty, sensitive and slender wire he tried to navigate. Every day it was harder and harder to deny his attraction to Reed. From that first moment it had been unrequited love. Until the afternoon they found out the project they'd worked on together so hard had been enthusiastically approved by the client. It was his own first success with the company and he was flying high. For Reed it had obviously just been another project completed, because he was back at his desk already eyes deep in another commercial design. But Drew hadn't been able to come down to earth yet. He wanted to celebrate and he wanted to celebrate with Reed. Drew had ended up going to dinner alone. Yet something had drawn him back to the office. After stopping off to buy a bottle of champagne, he went back to the building planning to have his own private party, maybe with a little self-pity thrown in on the side since he had to do the celebrating alone. It was when the elevator doors slid open on the sixteenth floor long past when everyone should have been gone, and he found Reed still hard at work in his office, that a strange sensation began to flood through his veins. Drew had come back here for a reason. He'd felt fate close around him like a tailor-made coat designed especially for him. His heart 22
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had drummed in his chest. He realized he still had the bottle of champagne and a couple of plastic glasses. Maybe there was someone he'd be able to celebrate with—who he'd been meant to celebrate with all along. He remembered standing in the open doorway, watching Reed as he worked at the drafting table in his corner office. God he'd been gorgeous. A man in his element, selfconfident, his attention alert and engaged. He'd worn a pristine white shirt and the cuffs were rolled back, exposing lean muscled forearms covered with a pelting of dark hairs. Drew had wanted to sift his fingers across that arm, to feel the texture of the pelting scattered across his arms. He yearned to unbutton the shirt and to taste his skin, to suckle at a nipple, drawing it deep into his mouth, to show Reed how good it could be with him. His cock shoved so hard at the front of his trousers it was painful, leaving him aching and needy. His prick was just as heavy then as it was right now. Just thinking about Reed had a way of keeping him hard and aching. The man he stood looking at then, and the one he was stroking now were one and the same, and the lover of his dreams. He planned to make damn certain that dream stayed reality. [Back to Table of Contents]
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CHAPTER 5 "His cock was longer than I expected." Reed continued his story. "Long and lean. Even with three beers he was already half hard." "Sounds perfect for your first time." Drew's lips nuzzled at his nipples, tugging with his teeth, and Reed groaned. "There was a lot of touching. We undressed each other slowly. I remember how big his hand seemed, how thick his fingers were." Drew leaned back and pulled Reed up to a sitting position, legs splayed to either side of the lounger. He wrapped his fingers around Reed's hard cock, his eyes imprisoning Reed's. "Is this how he did it?" Reed wrapped his hand around Drew's thick stalk. "Yeah, just like this. Except it took a long time to get us both hard." He chuckled as he remembered the effects of the alcohol on his system. He leaned forward, brushing his lips against Drew's. "So we kissed for a long time. I liked touching him. He brought feelings to the surface I didn't know I had. Touching him like that. I enjoyed the strong, sleek feel of his cock beneath my fingers. I'd never touched another man's dick before; it felt strange, yet arousing. Like memorizing the clean look of the Empire State Building. So tall, so pleasing, yet making such a strong statement. Breath-taking." He rubbed his thumb over the tip of Drew's broad penis. "I love listening to your voice." Drew's hand reached down to curl around Reed's balls. "When I got back to the office 24
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after all that time away, it was like I'd never known you before." "I know. When your father brought you into my office that first day, it was a man I saw standing there, not the boy I remembered. Not Mark's friend. You'd changed so much in the ten years you were gone. The feelings that erupted when I looked at you scared me." "Yeah. It was exactly the same for me. I know I didn't make it home much once I left for college. I had a lot to learn, I was searching for something special and I didn't find it. But when I saw you ... I recognized immediately what I wanted." Drew pressed his lips to Reed's mouth and plunged his tongue between Reed's lips. He tasted Drew, sucked on him, his fingers dancing over the broad length of his prick, sliding through the slick pre-cum. He shifted closer, until flesh blended with flesh. He could feel Drew's body heat blasting against his skin. His own temperature ran hot, but in bed, Drew's heat was like a furnace blast that never lowered to simmer. Drew broke the kiss and cupped Reed's cheek. His expression was soft and loving. "Did he hurt you that first time?" Reed shook his head. "He seemed to know what he was doing. He took a long time in stretching me. It felt good." "How did he get you ready?" "The petting had us both aroused and he pushed me back onto the bed and spread my legs. He put one of the pillows beneath my hips. I remember how cool and smooth and soft it felt. But it warmed quickly 'cause I was so hot." 25
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Drew pushed Reed back onto the lounge chair and reached for the lube. "I remember how tight you were the first time we did it. Just like a virgin." "I guess I was for all intents and purposes." Drew grabbed a big white towel from the deck, rolled it up, and positioned it beneath Reed's hips. He gave Reed a lopsided grin. "Not a nice, fluffy pillow, but I guess it'll do ... for now." Reed found it difficult to find his voice, anticipation was almost too much for him. He wasn't drunk now and he felt every stroke Drew applied to his body. His skin was alive with anticipation. His lover squirted lube onto his fingers and then into Reed's hole. He jumped at the cold, slick application. But then Drew's finger was penetrating and the heated anticipation quickly swallowed the coldness. "Is this what he did? Is this how he prepared you to take him?" Reed arched his hips and Drew's finger sank easily inside his channel. "Yes. Like that." Sensations spiraled through him, driving him crazy. "How many did you take? Before he fed you his cock?" Drew's finger moved in and out, curled and stroked. "T-three," Reed finally found the voice to answer. Reed felt his channel expand and loosen as Drew added a second lubricated finger to the first. "Did he do it the way you like it? Nice and slow?" "Yesss. He made me want him. Made me hungry for it." "Are you hungry now, lover?" 26
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"Yes, damn you. Oh, God." A third finger joined the other two. Drew worked his asshole slowly, twisting and bending. More lube was added. A lot more. Reed could hear the sucking, feel the deep, widening penetration. "Is this good for you, darling? Is it what you want?" "Yes. Fuck me. I'm so ready for you." "Not just yet. I'm going to give you more. Just as soon as you're ready." Reed held his breath as he felt the tip of a fourth finger brush across his stretched hole. Something twisted inside his gut. Drew had never used four fingers before and Reed wondered if he could take that many. And then he lifted his hips. "Yes. Do it." How wide was Drew going to take him? How much could he stand? Hell, yes, he wanted to try. Suddenly, he was hungry to yield his body, to feel himself stretched so wide by his lover. Drew's fingers withdrew. He applied more lubricant to both Reed's hole and his fingers. And then Reed felt himself expand to the limit as four of Drew's fingers pressed inside his rectum. He thought he was going to suffocate as his breath whooshed from his lungs and he absorbed the intense sensations of Drew's wide, slow penetration. He couldn't hold back the scream as he orgasmed when Drew stroked a particularly sensitive spot inside his rectum. "Yes ... Yes." He pressed against Drew's fingers, thrust his hips as his semen squirted onto his belly. Finally, he dropped back onto the lounger as Drew carefully withdrew, leaving him wide opened and empty. 27
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"Lift your hips." Reed had all he could do was move, but he managed as Drew withdrew the towel from beneath him and cleaned him up. Then he moved up to stretch out beside Reed and pulled him into his arms. "Was it good for you?" "I can't believe how good it was. Is that the way you like it? I feel so thoroughly opened. So exposed." Drew brushed a lock of his hair back from his forehead. "I don't know. I've never had it done to me slow like that." "He never took his time with you, did he?" The "he" being Drew's former lover. He felt the emotional withdrawal as though it was tangible. Drew hated talking about Caleb. "Talk to me. Don't bottle it up. You know what happens when you do that." Drew shrugged. "No, it wasn't like that between us. But with you, it's different. It's right." Reed pulled him closer. Every time he tried to get Drew to open up about Caleb, he seemed to withdraw into some dark place he couldn't follow. The man had obviously hurt him a lot. He wrapped his arms around Drew and tugged him even closer. "I'm not going to hurt you like he did. I'm not Caleb, Drew." "I know that." He looked up at him, and Reed inwardly winced at the hurt he saw expressed in his eyes. "But you can't acknowledge to anyone else that you love me, can you?" 28
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[Back to Table of Contents]
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CHAPTER 6 Drew still hated thinking about Caleb, the first man he'd ever allowed to move in with him. And the last. Although he knew that if Reed were willing, Drew would set up house with him in a second. But Caleb was a whole other story. So very different from Reed and not just in age. Looking back, Caleb had acted more like a power-leeching vampire, sucking the life out of a lover. And money. He feasted on notoriety. If the spotlight wasn't on his current lover, then he moved on without even a backward glance. A real fair-weather lover. Drew had been too young and naïve to see him for what he was. A hanger-on who would pick his victim clean and then move on to a new host. For a long time after the injury and Caleb's quick departure, Drew had sunk into a deep depression. It was his father who yanked him out of the rut of self-pity and practically forced him to get back into his therapy and to take a job with the architectural firm to help him get back on his feet and offer him fresh perspective. One morning he had just woken up and looked in the mirror, shocked to discover a worn out, hollow-eyed gaunt face staring back at him. It was a face that scared him, a stranger he didn't recognize. He'd gone cold turkey on the painkillers, thrown out all the booze, and got himself clean. He'd been determined that no one would ever gain that kind of hold over his life again. Not a man, not an injury, not a job. 30
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He and Reed really came from two different worlds. Well, hell, two different generations to be accurate. But Drew had decided that nothing was going to take him down. Once he made that vow, he'd started to live again. Not that there wasn't the ache of loss for someone he thought he loved, but he survived and was going to damn sure not let himself get into that position again. How could he ever have known that making that choice to clean himself up was going to lead him to the passion of his life? Yet, there were still times he found there was still a crack in the foundation. A flaw he hated to admit. And if he wasn't willing to admit it to himself, how could he ever admit it to his lover? Maybe part of the problem with Reed wasn't all Reed's fault. It could be his own fears had him stumbling in this relationship. Caleb was still a thorn in his side. Not that he still loved him. Far from that. But sometimes he had a way of superimposing his past lover's flaws onto his current lover. And that really wasn't fair to Reed. Yet, he simply couldn't bring himself to share this particular vulnerability with the man he wanted to share his life with. Maybe it was because, when it came right down to it, he was still unsure of Reed. In fact, if he were honest, he expected the man he loved to walk out of his life at any moment. He'd been certain on the drive up here that this would be the last trip they ever went on together and that realization had him wound tight as a rattler almost ready to bite, wondering when the shoe would drop. 31
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But something had changed. Something had altered. He couldn't quite put his finger on exactly what it was, but he definitely felt the shift. It was hard to hope. To want something so much that you didn't dare dream it would happen because you knew if it didn't, there would be no bottom to the hole he'd end up falling into. He'd thought he'd gotten past it, but apparently there was still some rawness. Maybe the real problem was because of that drink he'd had with Caleb a few weeks ago when he was in town. Or maybe it was his guilt over not telling Reed he'd seen the man who had once been his lover. Add another thing to the list. That was something he was going to have to rectify. He didn't like the heavy weight of guilt. It was like another wall erected between them. And this time, he was the one doing it. [Back to Table of Contents]
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CHAPTER 7 Sated hours later Reed gazed down at his sleeping lover. A shock of streaked white-blond hair had fallen onto his forehead. He looked so much younger when he slept. It was hard for Reed to believe they'd been seeing each other for the last two years as lovers and not simply as family friends. Everything was so complicated. Just before he'd left for this trip he'd decided it would be best to end it. For both of their sakes. Knowing that he slept with not only his boss's son, but his own son's friend caused him many agonizing sleepless nights. His whole life had been about responsibility, about putting the needs of his family before himself. From the moment Carla came to him and informed him that she was pregnant he'd thrown all his own dreams out the window. Especially that last searing weekend with Mick. He'd blocked everything from his mind but providing for his family. But now his wife was gone, his children grown, and still he couldn't seem to consider his own happiness as important. His foremost worry was what his children would think. Would Mark feel betrayed? And then there was Bart and Alice, whom he and Carla had socialized with regularly before she died. How would they ever accept his relationship with Drew? How could they understand it? He reached out to push back the errant lock of blond and then placed his hand over the steady beating of Drew's heart. 33
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It ripped him apart to think of losing Drew. Even with everything he knew to be right, he simply couldn't find the strength to end the relationship. Every time he looked at him the hunger grew, burrowing so deep inside him he knew there was no way to uproot it. The need to be with him no matter what. He loved him with a passion that went far beyond anything he'd felt for his wife. But was it enough? Drew opened his eyes and smiled up at Reed. Reed dipped down to plant a lingering kiss on his lips. "Sleepyhead." Drew's lips curved upward and he lifted a hand to cup the back of Reed's head. "Your fault. It's that sexy bod of yours." "God, Drew, what are we going to do? We can't go on like this." Drew leaned up and hugged him close. "I know. But you've got to decide. You're the one with the most to lose." Reed sighed and pulled away. "I know." Then he grinned, thrusting the worry aside for the moment. "Are you hungry?" His lover waggled his eyebrows. "Again? Still?" He pushed the sheet down, revealing his nakedness. Reed groaned. "I know we're on vacation, but ... a little control might be a good thing. I was thinking about food. How about trying that restaurant we saw when we drove into town?" Drew rose to a sitting position. "You sure? You ready to be seen in public with me?"
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Reed winced at the unintended rebuke. "Damn it. Of course, I want us to go out. Don't be like that. Not tonight. Tonight let's just forget about home. Let's just be us." His lover hauled himself off the bed. It was one of the things he loved about Drew. He was so at ease with his body, just running around naked at any whim. Damn, but he loved him so much. There were times when he felt he was such a polar extreme to his own personality, yet somehow they just fit. Drew started toward the bathroom. "You got it. If you're not worried, neither am I." He glanced back over his shoulder. "Wanna share the shower?" Sliding off the bed, Reed followed him into the bathroom. "I can tell this is going to be a week of sex, sex, sex for you isn't it?" He could already feel his muscles aching at the thought of keeping up with his younger lover. Drew turned on the shower, then looked up at Reed with a big grin on his face. "I don't recall saying anything about sex. I just asked if you wanted to share the shower." He opened the door and stepped inside and Reed joined him. Moments later they were both wet. Reed pulled him close and kissed him and then he sank to his knees. He looked up at Drew and licked his lips. "I'm hungry right now and I think I want an appetizer." Drew's expression turned serious as he looked down into Reed's eyes. "No rubber?" It was a moment of decision. A boundary they hadn't discussed before. Reed gazed up into his lover's face. For a long time he knelt there with the water raining down over 35
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both of them and then he knew with a certainty exactly what his answer was going to be. "You holding back a secret I should know about?" Drew shook his head. "No. You've seen my medical reports. Every time I get tested, I share them with you. And I've seen yours. You know I'm clean, that I've never played dangerous. I just thought ... I mean ... are you sure?" "I want to taste you, darling." He stroked his fingers over the half-erect cock. He could already taste him. Tonight ... this week he realized he didn't want latex separating them. He wanted nothing separating them. He lowered his head. "Yes, I'm sure." His tongue flicked out to taste his warm, wet flesh. He couldn't hold back, and he sucked him all the way into his mouth. Drew grabbed his head and held on. He felt Drew's fingers grip his wet hair as Reed worked his mouth over Drew's dick. He tasted of hot, wet, sexy male. As he slicked his tongue up and down Drew's length, it hardened, growing stiffer with each suck. He dipped his tongue into the slit leaking pre-cum, swirled over the broad head, beneath the hood and back along the slit, savoring the first taste of him. It was good, so good. "Oh, God, lover, I could have you suck me forever." Drew thrust his hips, driving his cock deeper into the chasm of Reed's mouth, touching the back of his throat, but going no deeper. Reed heard him moan and then suddenly his tangy, male seed was filling his mouth and Reed was swallowing for all he was worth. It was everything he'd imagined. And more so. 36
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He'd had three lovers in his life. Not a particularly experienced or adventurous sex life. Yet this was the first time Reed had swallowed a man's cum. And he doubted it would be his last. The week had only just begun. What would happen once they left their safe haven was something he simply wasn't going to think about right now. He planned to use this time to show Drew how much he had truly come to care for him. How much he didn't want to let him go. Even if he couldn't admit it to the rest of the world just yet. [Back to Table of Contents]
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CHAPTER 8 At dusk he and Reed left the cabin and headed down the path through the forest to the restaurant. Drew had been right. Something had changed, but in a most excellent way. Reed's mouth on his prick, swallowing every bit of his cum fulfilled his fantasies. He had wanted to do it again. But this time he wanted to be the one doing the swallowing. To feel Reed's cock stiffen and engorge as he stroked him with his lips and tongue without the taste of latex, flavored or not. It was an exhilarating thought and something he'd never allowed himself to do before. Even with Caleb he'd never had unprotected sex. And thank God for that. It had always been in the back of his mind that Caleb fooled around behind his back. He had never trusted him, not really. Oh, he'd never exactly admitted it to himself out loud, but it was the truth. Something had always held him back. It turned out he'd been right not to do so. It was one of the things Caleb had revealed to Drew when they met the other night. He'd never realized exactly how many chances Caleb had taken, nor that he'd had a heroin addiction. The bullet had finally exploded and Caleb told him he'd contracted AIDS. It was probably a toss up as to exactly which had been his downfall—maybe both. The heroin and the unprotected sex with strange young men—two bullets in a game of Russian roulette definitely doubled the odds of contracting it. In that moment of revelation, Drew had 38
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realized how little he had truly known of Caleb's life. Maybe it had been because of his focus on football and he simply hadn't seen the truth. Drew had known right then, as he looked at Caleb across the table, that he no longer felt anything for his ex-lover because all he could think with that revelation was, thank God he'd insisted on rubbers no matter how many times Caleb begged him to go bareback. On the other hand, he was sorry for Caleb, wished there was a way to help him, but at least for him, the door to the past could be closed. Quietly. Caleb was simply touching base with old acquaintances because he happened to be in town and because he now had a better appreciation for life and the realization of how short it was. No, Caleb had brushed off any assistance from Drew in finding proper medical help. But it was Caleb's final request that sealed it for Drew. He'd asked him if he had a line on a local dealer where he could get his fix of heroin. His old supplier had just been arrested. How close he'd come to being exactly where Caleb was, and he thanked God he'd made different choices in the end. The fates had looked kindly on him when he'd found Reed. When the water had turned cold in the shower, he and Reed hurriedly exited and dried each other off. The moment had passed. Drew couldn't stop thinking about what Reed's cum would taste like when he swallowed the first time. Drew glanced at his lover as they strolled down the secluded dirt path toward the restaurant. Yes, they were certainly different. And he was so very thankful that they were. 39
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He reached out and brushed his fingers against the palm of Reed's hand. It was a strong and beautiful hand. Sometimes when they were on one of their weekend getaways, he'd wake up in the middle of the night and see Reed seated in a corner with just a small light illuminating him in the darkness. Drew would lie there, watching, as he created, building from his mind and translating his vision onto paper. He'd glance up and Drew would see that far away expression in his eyes knowing that in the air he saw the lines and angles of a structure forming right before his eyes. He would be gone from the room, at least in his mind, searching for the perfect design that would fuse those images together in perfect synchronicity. It would usually be a project that would one day solidify into client enthusiasm, rising high above the city, his special stamp marking it as a Parr design. His father was always telling Drew that Reed Parr was a brilliant architect and the firm was lucky to have him. How could Reed not realize his value at the company? The demand for his work was mind-boggling. Reed looked at him and smiled. He stopped walking and reached for Drew's hand, drawing him close and dipping his head slightly. "You look and smell irresistible after that shower." His lips pressed firmly against Drew's mouth. Reed's tongue sensuously slipped between Drew's lips. Drew savored the taste of his lover, wanted to drop to his knees right there on the pathway.
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He lifted his head and looked around. Well, why not? Who has to wait for dessert? A little appetizer wouldn't be a bad thing. Not at all. Slowly, he dropped to his knees. "What are you doing?" He lifted his gaze to Reed's as he slowly unzipped the man's fly. "I want a taste." "Are you crazy? Anyone could walk by." Drew reached inside and grasped the warm, moist flesh. He stroked him and Reed's cock quickly hardened, stiff and beautiful beneath Drew's ministrations. He looked up at Reed, grinning. "Well, that didn't take long, did it?" He licked his lips and then sucked him inside. He'd had more experience than Reed, but still, had never tasted another man's cum before. He wanted to taste Reed. To savor the deliciousness of the man. It didn't take long before Reed was bucking and his seed was spurting into Drew's mouth. Drew gulped, swallowing every bit of juice. Only after Reed's erection softened did he release him and carefully replaced Reed's cock inside his pants and zipped him up. One final stroke and he rose to his feet, brushing the dirt from his jeans. "God, you take chances," Reed said, his cheeks flushed, his eyes heavy with afterglow. "I couldn't wait. I had to have you now." The kiss Reed planted on his lips was drugging and filled with so much passion that Drew wanted to strip and fuck him right there and forget about dinner completely. "We better go," Reed said in a husky voice. "Yeah, I guess we better." 41
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His lover threaded his fingers with Drew's and it was only as they reached the clearing that he finally released Drew's hand. He wasn't sure Reed did it consciously, it was just that he kept his feelings hidden so much of the time it was habit. Drew bit his lip. But it still hurt. [Back to Table of Contents]
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CHAPTER 9 Reed studied Drew closely as they entered the rustic Lake View restaurant. Not a particularly original name, but the succulent smells wafting through the door had his mouth watering. "You're limping. Is your knee bothering you?" He saw Drew stiffen at the question and could have bitten his tongue. The look Drew threw at him was shadowed and tight. "Is it noticeable? I'm sorry." "Dammit man, don't be sorry. I just want to know if you're in pain. Why didn't you bring your cane?" Drew shrugged and slid his gaze away. Fucking Caleb! Reed wanted to hug Drew tight. He knew only a tiny part of Drew's relationship with his last lover. And what he knew didn't put the bastard in a good light. Just then his thoughts were interrupted as a waiter approached with menus in hand and led them to a table on the patio. He watched his lover as he tried to hide the limp when they followed the waiter to a table near the railing, which overlooked the lake. As Drew sat down, Reed saw him wince and then try to smooth the look of pain, glancing up quickly at Reed as he sat across from him. "Dammit, Drew, stop trying to hide it if you're in pain. We shouldn't have walked down here; we should have driven." I shouldn't have let you go down on me. Maybe Drew had 43
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wrenched something when he'd dropped to the dirt to suck Reed off. "It's not that far. There was no reason to bring the car." "There is if you're hurting. Have you been doing the exercises?" A mutinous look crossed Drew's expression and he slapped the menu down onto the table. "You're not my father, stop trying to act like you are." Reed calmed and stared at his lover across the table. This was what happened when Drew felt cornered. He was like a wounded animal backed against the wall. Yelling back certainly wasn't going to defuse the situation. Reed reached across the table to grab Drew's hand and squeezed. "I know I'm not your father, not even close." The words had to come. Drew needed them. And Reed needed to say them. Drew tried to wrench his hand away, but Reed was having none of it. Reed knew that the old knee injury had wrecked his career as a football player, and apparently had helped destroy Drew's relationship with his former lover. And the aftershocks were still sore and tender. "I'm not letting go, Drew." If only his actions spoke as loud as his words. Reed could see the look in Drew's eyes. He knew from the moment they'd arrived Reed's actions and his words hadn't jived one bit. Certainly an indication of the state his mind was in. He wanted, but he was afraid to take. Yet, he couldn't help voicing his desires, even if he couldn't follow through with actions. Actions that assured Drew of his commitment. God, he was such a fool. 44
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"Maybe you should let me go. Isn't that what you really want?" "Why? Because you have a sore knee?" Drew shook his head and then looked out over the lake. His expression was cloudy and sad and Reed just wanted to kiss him and hold him in his arms. The waiter came to take their drink orders, interrupting the moment and Reed released Drew's hand. He ordered a Guinness and Drew ordered a neat Dewar's. The scotch was a sure indication something was definitely wrong. When the drinks arrived, Drew downed the scotch quickly and then eased back in the chair, a brooding expression on his face. Reed took a swig of the cold beer, studying his lover and waiting. "You're going to have to talk about it eventually." Drew gave him a black look. "Why? It's over with." "Is it?" The waiter stopped to check that everything was satisfactory and to see if they were ready to order. Reed ordered the trout and Drew decided on a steak. Then concern built as Drew held up his glass and ordered another scotch. "What the hell's wrong with you tonight?" His lover looked at him with a serious, fixed expression. "He called last week. He wanted to see me." Reed stilled. Drew could only be talking about Caleb. His heart plummeted. Suddenly he felt every minute of his fortyfive years. He took a pull of beer and felt the cold, sharp bite of the stout ale slide down his throat as he tried to gather himself together. 45
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"Did you see him?" Was that Drew's plan this week? One last hot-sex weekend before he broke it off with his aged lover? Did he prefer his beautiful, young lover rather than an old man with a lot of baggage? Drew nodded. "I had to. I wanted to try to close that door once and for all." "I see." The silence that surrounded them was thicker than trying to wade through a boggy swamp. "I don't think you do." Drew turned to look up at the waiter who set down his second drink. When the man left, he turned back to Reed. It was as though Drew needed that space to say what he had to say. Reed steeled himself. He really couldn't blame Drew considering Reed's reticence to go public with their relationship. And the age thing. That was certainly a problem. "Did you fuck him?" he asked Drew in a hushed voice. He didn't want to know, but he had to. Drew's head shot up and his eyes blazed fire. "Are you serious? You think I'd do that?" "I don't know. From what you've told me, he's a lot closer to your own age. And not afraid of being outed. Probably a much better match for you than I am if the truth be told." "Are you looking for a way out of this relationship? Because if that's the case—" "Dammit, you're the one who started this. Are you going back to him?" Drew's eyes glittered. But it was with anger this time, not sadness. "Screw you, Reed Parr. How the hell could you think I'd ever want to go back with him?" 46
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Now Reed was confused. "Then what's this all about? Why are you telling me?" Drew sighed. "Because I don't want there to be secrets between us. I don't know why he wanted to see me." He looked Reed directly in the eye. "But I can't say that at first, when I heard his voice on the machine, the thought didn't pass through my head. He wasn't worried about people knowing he was gay. He loved being seen with me. Of course, that was before the knee injury, when I was still a star athlete. Afterward ... well everything changed. He liked his lovers to have the power and be in the spotlight. And he had no problem turning his back on me when I was down. Especially once he knew I wasn't getting back up again. I thought about it for all of a brief second, no more than that." "Then why did he come back?" Drew shrugged. "I don't know. I met him for a drink after work one night just to be able to tell him off, I think. You see, he left while I was still in the hospital. Just packed his things and disappeared. I came home to an empty apartment. I needed to put an end to the questions. And, I guess, to be sure there were no feelings left." He tapped his temple. "In here. In my mind, I need to be certain once and for all." "He's a lot closer to your age." "Get off that kick, will you?" He leaned across the table. "I love you, Reed. Not some stupid hanger-on. It isn't about your age." "It isn't about your knee injury." Suddenly, Reed meet Drew's look. Drew's expression was one of dawning revelation, probably mirrored in his own eyes. 47
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There were moments like this, where their thoughts gelled perfectly. It didn't matter whether they were arguing or making love, it was moments like that it seemed they both knew how right it was between them. "We've been stupid, you know." Without realizing it, they'd both dug into the one painful vulnerability they each had. Drew's injury and Reed's age. Reed eased back in his chair and grinned. "Yeah, I know. I love you, too. He was an ass to walk out on you." "And you're an ass to think your age matters to the way I feel for you, or that I'd give you up just because of it. I love who you are." This time it was Drew who reached across the table and twined his fingers with Reed's. They stayed like that until their food finally arrived. No words necessary. It was a communication that existed between them from that moment two years before when they looked at each other as two adult men, as though meeting for the first time. Reed felt his cock thicken with anticipation. How could he ever have thought of ending the relationship, no matter what the world thought of him? It had only taken an hour in Drew's company on the drive here to realize his mistake. That was the wrong path entirely. He knew he was going to have to find a way to make it work. Every minute with Drew made him realize the cost for both of them in keeping their relationship secret. That was going to have to end if he wanted to take his relationship with Drew to the next level. Whatever the cost to himself, he had to find the courage to tell his children about the man in his life. 48
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[Back to Table of Contents]
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CHAPTER 10 How had a day that had been going so well, turned to shit so quickly? Totally fallen apart? The steak resting on the plate before him was no longer appetizing. The stupid ghosts from his past and his own flaws constantly kept jumping out to bite him in the ass. Reed seemed focused on the succulent trout and didn't appear the least bit concerned about the chasm that seemed to have developed between them. "I'm sorry," Drew finally blurted out. "I should have told you he called." Reed carefully laid his knife and fork across the plate and looked at Drew. The look made Drew feel like shit. It wasn't anger that blazed out at him; it was hurt. "Do you think I would have raised a ruckus and tried to stop you from seeing him?" "No, of course not." Maybe that was the whole point. He wanted Reed to get angry, wanted him to show he cared enough to be upset and he was afraid he'd be disappointed by his lack of response. Well, he guessed he'd gotten the response he wanted. And he still wasn't satisfied. "Then why, Drew? Why keep it a secret? Why tell me now? I just want to understand." Maybe all that patience came from raising kids, because Reed always had a way of making Drew feel like he was in the wrong. Even when he wasn't. Damn him. He shrugged. "I guess I didn't think." 50
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Reed's eyes bored into him. "Is that the real reason?" And that was another thing he always had a habit of doing—tearing the truth out of him. "I was afraid you wouldn't care. That it would give you an excuse to walk away from our relationship. And I didn't want to give you the excuse." A long, tense silence fell between them, so thick it would probably take a chisel to break through. Reed sighed. "Keeping our relationship secret has taken a toll on you, hasn't it? I guess I was so worried for myself and the kids, I wasn't really seeing what it was doing to you. But then I guess I wasn't sure where it would lead." Drew was afraid of what Reed would say next. "I think we're both still pretty unsure." Reed's intense stare burned through him. "I'm not unsure any longer. Didn't my actions say that earlier? I may not be quite ready to shout it to the world, but you must know I'm not going to leave. I wasn't sure before ... I mean I didn't..." His voice trailed off. Drew had been right. Reed had been planning to end the relationship. The reality of that twisted his guts. "What changed your mind?" Reed picked up his knife and fork and looked down at his plate. "You did," he said without looking up. "Or rather, thinking of my life without you in it." His words sent a warm glow spreading through Drew's body. But he knew he'd been close, real close, to losing the 51
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love he'd only ever dreamed about having. And that thought scared him. [Back to Table of Contents]
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CHAPTER 11 "Let's go down to the dock," Drew suggested once they'd arrived back at the cabin. "Your knee's holding up okay?" "It's fine. Stop worrying about it." His words were clipped and Reed berated himself for screwing up the mood of the moment. He should have kept his mouth shut. "I'm sorry. If you want to go down to the dock, we'll go." "Not if you're too tired." "Enough all ready." Reed stomped out the door, grabbed a flashlight from a hook on the deck and headed off down the path alone. Dammit, but it felt like he was walking on eggshells since the restaurant. Maybe it was his own guilt in knowing that one of the things he'd planned to do when he got here was try to ease off the relationship. But he'd known immediately that wasn't a possibility. He loved the man too damn much. He just needed to figure out what he was going to do. Slipping off his loafers, he strode out to the end of the dock and dropped down, letting his feet trail in the cool water. The July night was muggy and humid, and heat clung to his skin. At least here in the mountains the temperature was a bit more bearable. In the city it would be stifling. Moonlight glimmered on the water. He jumped as cold fingers wrapped around his ankle. 53
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He looked down to see Drew grinning up at him. "Idiot," he mumbled. "Come on in. The water feels great." Drew released him, flipped over onto his back and Reed's eyes widened. "You're skinny dipping?" Drew grinned at him. "Yep." "What if someone comes down here?" "It's eleven o'clock at night. I doubt anyone will come down here tonight. Meow, meow, lover." "Oh, no. You're not getting away with that." He rose up and shrugged out of his jeans and pulled his shirt off. Drew now paddled a little way out in deeper water. "Come and get me, lover. You can help me with a little therapy. You said I should do something about my knee. What better treatment than this?" Reed dove in and shot through the water below the surface until he came up behind Drew. "Looking for someone?" Drew spun around. "Hold your breath," Reed said and then dragged him below the surface, pressing Drew beneath him, body to body, and then mouth to mouth. Eventually, they bobbed back up to the surface, both out of breath. Drew laughed. "Pretty darn fast for an old man." And then he spun away and with long strokes struck away with Reed in fast pursuit. Thank goodness for those lunch sessions at the athletic club or he'd probably be having a heart attack right now. Reed caught Drew's ankle and hauled him back. "I'll show you who's old, youngster." He claimed Drew's mouth, plunging his tongue deep into the moist chasm. Drew sucked hard as they cemented their hot, wet bodies together. 54
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Drew's arms rose to wrap around Reed's neck. Reed felt the sharp press of his puckered nipples which drove him into a needy frenzy. He wanted to be inside this man, to meld them as close as possible so they were never separated again. "God, Reed," Drew gasped. "This moment, right now, I want it to stay like this forever." Reed cupped his head, preparing to claim his lover's lips once again. "How did you know exactly what I was thinking?" They looked into each other's eyes, the full moon drawing sparks and shadows, deepening the heated look. Drew's expression was intense, darkened by the night. "It happens with us a lot." He leaned forward to lick at the droplets on Reed's mouth. Reed loved the feel of his tongue and parted his lips. "Yeah, let me in, baby. Let me in." Drew plunged between his lips and Reed sucked at his tongue, tangled his own with Drew's. Slowly they sank beneath the water, never separating. Reed pressed a leg between Drew's, his thigh sliding against his balls, rubbing sensuously. He felt Drew stiffen as they rose to the surface. His cry of release echoed as they broke through. Reed held him in his arms for a long time, treading water, until his lover quieted. "Oh, God, that was good." Slowly they parted and swam back to the dock. Levering up, they collapsed next to each other on the wooden platform. Reed rolled to his back to look up at the stars which seemed so close tonight. He was so freaking content with this 55
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moment. Right now he had everything he wanted. The world was just about damn perfect. He saw the north star shining brightly in the distance and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, it wasn't the sky he saw, but Drew's face gazing down at him. "What did you wish for?" He reached up to cup the side of his jaw. "What do you think I wished for?" Drew looked up at the sky and then back down at Reed. "Do you know how gorgeous you are? How much in love with you I am?" He leaned down and kissed Reed, but this time it was different. There was some element of reverence to the touch, a tenderness that was even more arousing than he could have imagined. Beauty was definitely in the eye of the beholder. Finally, Drew raised his head and looked at Reed. "I wished this moment would never end. That you and I could always be like this." Reed quirked a brow. "Naked and horny?" A corner of Drew's mouth quirked upward. "Yeah ... that, too." His gaze traveled down the length of Reed's body. "Yeah, definitely that. Let's go back up to the house. I didn't think to bring lube down with me, but I want to fuck you so bad." Reed pushed him off and sat up. "I think we can come up with something that might work." He slid off the side of the dock and into the water where it was a bit shallower. The water rose up to mid chest. "Well, what are you waiting for?" 56
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Drew's brow shot up. "Here? My, my. My oh-so mature lover is getting adventurous. I'm impressed." Quickly, he slid off into the lake, coming up behind Reed. Drew reached around Reed's body to grip his cock. Reed shivered at the delicious touch. "Cold?" "Not in the least." "Ah, then it must be something else." Drew's hand slipped down to cup his balls, his lips traced kisses across Reed's shoulder. "Yeah, something else." The anticipation was killing him. "Now, Drew, do it now." Drew's hands moved to his cheeks, separating, revealing his puckered entrance. Water lapped against his opening and then without preamble two fingers plunged into his rectum. "I guess that prep this afternoon has you all loose and ready for me," Drew said from behind. "You feel great, lover, so great." His fingers eased in and out. "No rubbers." Reed was out of breath, dropped his head forward as he gripped the edge of the platform tighter, and shook his head emphatically. "No rubbers. Just you." Within seconds he felt the head of Drew's cock rub against his entrance. "Bare and beautiful, darling. God, this is a dream. I've never done it bareback with anyone. Not another man has ever had me this way." Reed shuddered at his words. They aroused him even more. Just as Drew pressed inward, passing the tight ring of muscle, Reed pushed back forcing Drew's cock to embed 57
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inside his channel, a guttural cry rising from deep within his chest. "Damn, yes. Do me, Drew. Do me fast and deep. Make me scream." "Oh, baby, anything you want. Oh, God, you feel like paradise." He pulled out and tunneled in, again and again, the water surging and retreating, stroking over their bodies. They'd never done it like this before. Not bareback, not hard, not outside. The heat of Drew's cock embedded in his ass, branding him, the cool water lapping against his chest, his lover's scent surrounding him, and it wasn't long before he was crying out, collapsing against the dock, the echoes of his lover's orgasm pounding through him. This was passion and connection like he had never experienced with another person in his life. Drew's arms wrapped around him, embracing him tightly. Reed realized this was a man he would die for. [Back to Table of Contents]
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CHAPTER 12 Drew watched Reed as he slept, listening to the even tenor of his breaths, watching the rise and fall of his broad chest. This was what it was all about. Having your lover lying next to you in bed, feeling his heat, his life, knowing you weren't alone. Would Reed ever be ready to come out of hiding? There were times when Drew couldn't read him, when he closed off. He'd been beautiful out there in the lake. For the first time he'd truly let himself go and it had been magnificent. Drew always thought of Reed as restrained and sophisticated. Tonight he'd seen a different side of him and Drew had loved every moment of his unfettered pleasure. It kind of reminded him of the night in Reed's office. After two glasses of champagne when they had gone at each other like it was the last moments of their life, the last time they would ever love. Carefully, he pulled the sheet off Reed's body. The only time he'd looked sexier was when he was wearing that proper white shirt. Except Drew had been the one to unbutton it and it was the only thing Reed was wearing. Damn he'd looked sexy as hell. His dark hair ruffled after having just been made love to by his boss's son. That shy, sheepish look on his face which had Drew panting with lust. He couldn't keep his hands off him that night and it was well after three o'clock in the morning before they'd managed to get dressed. But Reed hadn't gone back to his own home. 59
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Nor had Drew gone back to his own apartment. Not that night. It was a Friday and they'd driven out of town and rented a room at a small motel, after a quick stop at the drug store on the way. Drew hadn't let him out of his sight all weekend. They'd even ordered pizza in rather than leaving the room. It was as though the floodgates had opened and there was no stopping their appetite for each other. And that damn white shirt. He and Reed had remained naked the whole time, except for the white shirt, which was pretty rumpled by Sunday night. Staring down at his body now, he memorized the dips and shadows, his line of sight following a faint scar low on his torso. Drew didn't dare touch it as he didn't want to wake Reed. He glanced at the illuminated clock sporting four o'clock on its face. No, not just yet. In his sleep Reed rolled onto his side, facing Drew. Drew carefully drew the sheet back up and lay down next to him beneath it. Reed's arm came up and curled around his waist, drawing him close. It had been an unconscious action and warmth flooded through Drew. If only it could be like this forever. "I love you, baby," he whispered. His knee ached slightly from all the activity this evening, but it wasn't enough to make him move from his lover's embrace. He listened to Reed's steady breathing. He inhaled 60
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his clean scent, savoring the imprint of the man lying next to him. God, he loved him. Right now it didn't matter if Reed couldn't acknowledge their relationship to the world. Right now, having his arms around him was enough. [Back to Table of Contents]
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CHAPTER 13 Reed leaned against the rail staring out at the glittering lake. They were halfway through the week. He still held the cell phone cradled against his palm, having just gotten off the line with his son, Mark. Surprisingly, it had been easier than he expected. Sure, there'd been a moment of shocked silence after his revelation as to who he'd come on vacation with. But then there'd been acceptance. He didn't say anything like, "Oh great, Dad. No problem. You're made for each other." But he didn't shut him down completely. It was a start. Reed didn't know what possessed him to call his son this morning, but suddenly he'd felt if he didn't make the call, his courage might desert him. He should have done it in person. But something inside him had him making that call, an urgency he couldn't seem to shake. And right now a good measure of the weight he'd been carrying around with him seemed to have lifted. They'd made a date for dinner upon Reed's return. His son would contact Laura and Jason, Mark's siblings, and Reed would talk with them all when they went out to dinner. No matter what happened, he'd resolved that he wouldn't let them make him feel guilty. Carla had been gone for more than six years. Even if it wasn't quite the relationship they would have expected, it was time for him to move on and they were going to have to accept that. For the first time, Reed was at peace with his decision. 62
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A pair of hard arms curled around his torso and firm lips pressed against his bare shoulder. "You should have woken me." He smiled. "You were sleeping too peacefully. You looked like an angel." He heard Drew chuckle. "Angel, my ass. Fallen one, maybe." Reed twisted around and curled his arms around Drew's neck. He nestled his head into the curve of his shoulder and trailed kisses along the thick column of his neck before cementing his lips to the man he loved. He'd never expected to feel such intense feelings toward another human being, especially at his age. He figured after Carla died, he'd just settle in and work his way toward retirement. Then head off south to a nice retirement community. This passion, this determination to begin anew with this man was something he'd never anticipated. Sometimes the depth of feeling he felt for Drew scared him. He cupped Drew's face and looked into his eyes. Drew's hands stroked over his back, his fingers trailing a line down the length of his spine. Reed's heated gaze dropped to Drew's lips, watched as his tongue darted out to wet the fleshy surface. His gut clenched, twisting with lust. They'd fucked practically nonstop over the last three days; how could he still get so hard so fast and want him again? And again. And again. 63
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Suddenly, he pulled out of his arms and walked to the other side of the deck, gripping the railing tightly, his back to the object of his male lust standing behind him. "What is it, Reed?" He looked out over the vista of evergreens. "What would you say about buying a place up here?" He whirled around to look at Drew. "You and I, we could design it together." He saw the look of shock and surprised pleasure on Drew's expression. Reed held his breath. "Are you serious?" Reed looked down at the phone still clutched in his hand and he tossed it onto the lounger. Again, he looked at Drew. "I called Mark this morning. While you were asleep." The expression of shock deepened. "You did what?" Drew strode across the deck and was at his side in moments. "You told him? On the phone?" Reed raised a hand to stroke along the curve of Drew's roughened cheek. He raised his other hand and cupped his lover's beloved face, his jaw covered in pale blond stubble. He liked the feel of it. A primitive surge raced through him. Drew's face wasn't smooth perfection like Carla's had been. It wasn't the same smooth silk of female skin. No. It was male heat, rough satin. The tough side of beauty. And he yearned to never lose that touch. To wake up every morning, to reach over, to feel the flesh and blood heat of his lover. To watch him wake, to see the love, to press his lips to his and know it was forever. Reed gasped as his thoughts swamped and rose through him like a tidal wave taking control of his emotions. He 64
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rubbed his hands over Drew's jaw, loving and absorbing the texture of his skin, of the aroused look in his lover's eyes. Of the sun glinting down on his silky, blond hair. He tried to catch his breath, his heart pounding in his chest. "Oh, God, Drew, I can't go on like this any longer. Not another day." Drew grabbed Reed's upper arms, his grip desperate. "What do you mean? What did Mark say?" His words were just as desperate as his grip. "Let me talk to him. It shouldn't have been done on the phone. I'll go with you, I'll explain." Reed's fingers stroked over Drew's mouth and his lips curved upward. "No. You've misunderstood." "What are you saying?" "I told him the truth. He won't tell the others, not until I get back. He was ... okay with it. I could tell he was shocked at first, but he recovered rather well considering." "Thank God. If he'd hurt you, I'd have had to do something about it. I know he's your son and all, but you're my lover and I won't let him be a fucking asshole over this." Reed laughed. "No, he was okay with it. I told him Lenore knows, but no one else. Maybe he'll talk with her. He'll have a few days to let it sink in. I don't know how the others will take it, but it's the first step." Drew leaned over and planted a kiss on his lips. Then drawing back, Drew was grinning ear to ear. "I can't believe you did it. I never expected—" "I know, I know. I think I know how you felt when you finally told Lenore. It's like this weight is finally lifting." 65
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Drew dropped his hands and turned to look out at the forested vista. "You really want to buy some land up here?" "With you, Drew. I want us to do this together. Whatever comes next, wherever it leads, I want us to be together." Drew reached for his hand and linked his fingers with Reed's. "Always, lover. I've found the man to make my life complete and I'm not letting you go." It was a start and they still had a long way to go. Whatever the impact, the ripples that would shock and surprise, he had found the love of his life and he wasn't going to keep it hidden from the world any longer. It deserved to shine. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Adrianna Dane Theresa Gallup uses the pen names of Tess Maynard and Adrianna Dane. Theresa has been writing since the age of 10. A legal secretary for 30 years, she is currently working on another erotic romance, as well as a full-length romantic mystery/suspense. She has been married for 30 years and has three grown children (a daughter and twin sons), and is a new grandmother. Writing as Tess Maynard, her first published short story appeared in the ezine, The Whispering Forest, in January of 2004. Writing as Adrianna Dane, where adding sensual heat to romance is her motto, Esmerelda's Secret was her first foray into the erotic romance genre. Having traveled and lived from the East Coast to the West Coast, Theresa receives inspiration for her stories from a variety of sources, including music and poetry, and her tastes are eclectic. For more information about current projects, visit Theresa's websites at www.tessmaynard.com or www.adriannadane.com. **** Don't miss Secret Lovers, by Cassie Stevens, available at AmberAllure.com!
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A lifetime of living in secret? Or a lifetime of living alone? The answer isn't so simple when careers are at risk and a friendship could be lost. Firefighter Alex Randall and Marine Captain Sam Blevins have been best friends and near constant companions since fate brought them together during a traffic collision. But even best friends don't tell all. Each man harbors hidden secrets—the fact that each is gay, and that they both want each other ... love each other. There's a lot at stake by reaching out for the one you love, the one you need, the one who makes you live. A lot to lose, and even more to gain, if they are willing to be secret lovers... **** Don't miss Circle Of Friends: All Wet, by Gabrina Garza, available at AmberHeat.com! After everything around her changes, Carleena wants to go back to something normal. She's just lost her job as a planner for the stars and decides the best thing to do is return home for some R&R. She's in the middle of her personal time when the guy her mother hires to take care of her plants and dogs gives her hell! What's a girl to do? But Carleena discovers her life isn't as screwed as she originally thought, and the black cloud she thought would permanently stay over her head might just be lifted when the 68
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house sitter turns out to be someone she knew from high school, the shy and oh-so-sexy Ben Pinato, her former best friend who completely faded from her life. When another old friend returns, Carleena is forced to wonder what sort of relationship Ben and Jackie have had all this time. Can two best friends in high school recapture their connection and possibly turn it into a little more? Or have the years between them created a rift not even a hot encounter can save? She moved on with her life ... has Ben done the same? **** Don't miss Soul Obsession by Amy Wolff-Sorter, available at AmberQuill.com! A story blazing with reluctant passion, bitter betrayal, ghostly retribution and the battle for a man's very soul... A brilliant businessman... Daniel Grogan is at the top of his game as he prepares to marry a wealthy socialite. But something goes wrong on his wedding day and his path takes a crazy turn toward strange visions of mountains and oceans, and a growing obsession about a woman he's never met face to face. A rebellious rabbi... Peggy Witwater entered the rabbinate to serve her people. When congregational politics deal her a vicious blow, she fights the tide of change while trying to help Daniel; not 69
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realizing her actions could ignite her own deeply buried obsessions. Passion and vengeance from beyond the grave... As the two are drawn toward one another, they fall under the shadow of a vengeful spirit who will stop at nothing to claim Daniel. To win the battle for his soul, Daniel must acknowledge past wrongs, or risk falling into an eternal—and fatal—enchantment. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Amber Quill's Rewards Program For every ten books bought, receive one free! Visit all three of Amber Quill's web sites for our very latest releases!! **** AMBER HEAT EROTICA Gimme Fever!! Steamy, sensual genre fiction... www.AmberHeat.com **** AMBER ALLURE Where love is blind to gender... www.Amber-Allure.com **** 71
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