Teaching Him a Lesson

Teaching Him a Lesson A Ravenous Romance™ Panamour™ Original Publication Brit M.

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A Ravenous Romance™ Panamour™ Original Publication www.ravenousromance.com

Copyright © 2009 by Brit M. Ravenous Romance™ 100 Cummings Center Suite 123A Beverly, MA 01915 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher, except by reviewers who may quote brief excerpts in connection with a review. ISBN-13: 978-1-60777-290-3 This book is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

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Chapter One Alex straightened his tie, tugged at the rolled-up cuffs of his shirt and smoothed the creases in his slacks. The dress clothes didn't feel natural; he longed for his jeans and a nice Tshirt, but for the first meeting with his new boss it seemed only right to try to look professional. Another glance in the men's room mirror showed nothing out of place. Professor Klein's e-mails had made him sound like an interesting teacher with a passion for his job, which was nice, because in Alex's experience, the TA position could sometimes end up as a much bigger job when it was for a professor who was forced into teaching something he had no interest in. This was the first time Alex had taken the position sight unseen, though. "Nothing to it," he said to himself, straightening his spine and smoothing his hands over his hair one last time. A braided ponytail kept his long hair neat. Without it, the curls tended to take over quickly and without remorse. He walked out of the men's room and down the hall to Professor Klein's new office. The door was closed, its mailbox empty and nameplate missing. That would change within a day or two. Alex knocked twice, trying not to shift on his feet. "Come on in," a man called from behind the door. His accent was thick and smoky Southern, pulling on the vowels in his words until they were smooth and long. Alex shook himself and turned the knob. "Hi," he said, inadequately, tongue frozen by the sight of his new boss. Professor Klein couldn't have been more than a few years older than Alex. His hair straggled free of a ponytail that fell halfway down his back in a gold river. A warm tan still

3 bronzed his skin, a remnant from wherever he'd last lived—Alex couldn't remember where—and when he looked up, it was hard to decide what was more handsome, his smile or his blue eyes. Silence settled between them while Alex hovered in the doorway, heart pounding with a surge of lust, and Klein looked him over. "You must be Mr. Gilman," he said. "Have a seat." "You can call me Alex," he managed, settling into the chair opposite Klein's desk. "Then call me Matt," the other man replied, grinning. "How do you like the university?" "It's a good school," Alex said. "I like the classes I've had here and I like my advisors." "Good," Matt said, slouching back into his chair. "I want to be somewhere I can actually teach and have some impact." Alex put his palms on his knees and leaned forward a little. "So, what's your game plan?" "Semester starts in a couple of weeks. I need to get together the books and post them on the Web site, all that sort of stuff. You want to look over the syllabus?" "Yeah," he said. "I'll try to read through all the material before we start." "Maybe we could grab dinner before the class starts and make sure it's all smooth," Matt said. "Okay," Alex replied, then cursed himself for his eagerness. The professor didn't want to go on a date. This was business. The fact that he was like some sort of Adonis brought to life didn't change that. He probably didn't even like men. "You've got my number?" "Yeah," Matt said. He sat up in his chair and offered his hand across the desk. Alex took it in his and allowed the quick shake, even though it spread very distracting tendrils of warmth up his arm. Matt, or maybe he should keep calling him Professor Klein, had

4 nice hands. Smooth palms and callused fingers; maybe he worked in a garden or had some hobby like whittling. "Let me get you that syllabus," he said and turned his chair to fish through one of the still-unpacked boxes stacked in the corner. Alex rubbed his palm on his slacks to stop the tingling and leaned forward a little further to conceal his body's reaction to the touch. No better way to ruin a perfectly good meeting than an unexpected erection. It wasn't that he'd never had the hots for a boss before; there had been that time working as a waiter with the Italian chef. He'd managed that situation just fine. "Here you go," Matt said, handing him a folder. He took it and placed it casually on his lap. "I'll call you next week, or you can call me if you have any questions. How's that?" "Should be fine," Alex said. "I hope we have a good time this semester." "Yeah," Matt said, and maybe Alex was imagining it, but his smile seemed to take a flirty edge. "I hope we have a good time, too." "See you, then." The folder provided great camouflage. Alex shut the office door behind him and heaved a deep sigh. There were about fifty good reasons not to even hint to Professor Klein that he was interested, the foremost of which was his job. And the ethical concerns were a bit severe, too. So far he'd managed not to sleep with any of his teachers or students; probably best to keep it that way. Imagining that sweet drawl purring his name sent shivers down his spine, though, and the thought of all that bare golden skin pressed to his turned it into a full-blown shudder. Alex started back down the empty hall to the elevators, his heart pounding with desire and his mind's eye filled with tantalizing images. Maybe fantasizing wouldn't be so wrong as long as he didn't act on it. After all, he wasn't entirely sure he could stop himself. In the privacy

5 of the elevator he dropped his head back to rest on the wall and sighed. The semester was going to be a special kind of hell if he couldn't control his imagination, but it wasn't one he could avoid. He'd never wished for his boss to be a bad person before; however, with Matt Klein, it might be better all around if he turned out to be insufferable or stupid or downright mean. The doors dinged open and he shuffled out. The untimely erection—first of many, he was sure—had thankfully faded. Heat blasted him as he stepped out of the Humanities building into the August evening. The Indian summer still clung to the region, unwilling to make way for cooler temperatures. He paused to unbutton his shirt and let it hang open around the tank top underneath. The relief wasn't much but he felt less constricted on his way to his car in the parking garage. The special parking pass was a definite perk of the job; staff of all kinds got the best spaces. He slid into the driver's seat of his little sports car and tossed Matt's folder on the passenger seat. He started his car and pulled out onto the street. It would be interesting to see the material Matt had chosen for the course. There were so many directions a professor could go with speculative fiction: contemporary or classic, comics or books, all of the above. Of course the fact that he was allowed to revive the class and teach it his first semester must have meant Klein's record from his previous institution was spotless. Alex grinned to himself. The only thing better than a handsome man was a smart, handsome man. "Not that I can have him," he reminded himself, glancing over his shoulder to merge onto the interstate. He cracked his window and turned up the radio for Bon Jovi, helpless to fight a grin and bouncing a little to the beat. He drew the line at singing along. **** "Yeah, I know where the Brewing Company is," Alex said. He balanced his cell phone between his shoulder and his ear while he struggled to carry bags of groceries into his apartment.

6 "Good food there. By the way, I've read most of the material that was new to me. Want me to bring any of the texts?" "If you have any notes, you can bring those, but I was planning a laid-back dinner," Matt said. His voice carried a hint of amusement. "As long as we can figure out how we're going to work this class, I don't care if you bring anything at all." "Cool," Alex said. He dropped the bags on his kitchen floor with a sigh. "Are you working?" Matt said. "Sounds busy." "No, just bringing in the groceries. Nothing exciting." "Hm," the professor murmured. The sound of that sweet, warm voice sent shivers rolling up and down Alex's spine. A week without hearing it had only heightened the allure. "Well, I guess I'll be seeing you in an hour or so?" "Sure. See you then," he said. "Bye." The phone disconnected and Alex flipped his shut. One hour to put away the groceries, take a shower and get presentable for a nice dinner with the boss. He bit his lip and set to work, practically flinging cans into the cabinet and assorted boxed dinners into the freezer. The minutes ticked by too quickly. He began to strip as he walked down the hall, then shimmied out of his pants at the bathroom door and dropped the bundle of clothes in the hamper. The first cold burst of water from the shower made him twitch. It wasn't a date. He knew that in his brain, but the beating of his heart and the case of nerves that made his hands tremble didn't seem to agree. He palmed the soap and began to wash, but as his fingers skidded to his lower stomach he felt a definite pulse of something better than nervousness. He cupped his hand over his still-soft cock and squeezed gently, taking in a quick,

7 short breath. Matt's flirty smile flashed behind his eyes, accompanied by a memory of that soft little humming noise he'd made on the phone. Alex braced his free hand against the shower wall and bent his head to watch while he ran his palm over his stiffening dick. Soap foam rinsed off in little rivulets, leaving only bare skin, begging to be touched. He stepped to put only his back under the spray and licked his palm, imagining the way Matt's tongue would feel slipping across his fingers. He shivered. Surely there was time for this. Alex wrapped his fingers around his dick and stroked, one long pull from base to tip. He closed his eyes and thought about Matt, the way his broad hands were just made to grab a man by the hair and pull him down to his knees, how that drawl would sound saying, "Suck me." He groaned, stroking quick and hard, his thumb pressing on the head of his cock. Pleasure rocketed up his spine. He had a flash of wondering if even Matt's dick would be tanned—then he was gasping, coming, fucking his fist through the last pulses. The shower rinsed away the evidence by the time his legs stopped trembling. He washed his hair in a hurry, cursing under his breath. At least now he probably wouldn't have an awkward erection during dinner, but he was also probably going to be late. Having one off in the shower wasn't exactly an excuse he could give Matt. Then again, his hands had stopped trembling, so maybe it could be called stress relief. He nearly slipped in his hurry to get out of the tub, but through a set of miracles he managed to tame his hair into a braid, get dressed and race down the steps to his car in time to leave. He took a deep breath, glanced at the dashboard clock, and let it out. Five minutes behind schedule was doable. Despite the ill-conceived fantasies, Professor Klein was his boss and showing up late for a pseudo-business dinner was just bad form. He pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant fifteen minutes later and realized as soon as he shifted into park that he'd left his notes at home.

8 "Oh, goddammit," he groaned. At least Matt had said it was a laid-back dinner. It wasn't as if he couldn't remember what he wanted to say, anyway; or at least that was what he told himself while he climbed out of his car and looked himself over one last time. His outfit seemed to match and wasn't covered in dryer lint. That was the best he could hope for. He tucked his thumbs in the front pockets of his slacks and strolled to the door, looking around for a flash of tawny hair. The professor would be easy to spot in a crowd. As soon as he stepped into the dimly lit restaurant, he saw him. Matt waved from a booth near the bar and he pointed to show the hostess he had found his table before she could offer to help. "Hi," Alex said, sliding into the booth opposite the other man. "I ordered one of the appetizer pizzas already," Matt said. "Cheese and tomatoes. I figured that would be safe." "Oh, sure," he said. "I like pizza." The professor smiled, one elbow propped on the table and his other hand toying with his drink. A fine gold bracelet glimmered on his wrist. Alex wrenched his eyes away from those gorgeous hands and found Matt watching him with an odd edge to his grin. He smiled back, a little shaky, looking into the other man's blue eyes. The waitress broke the awkward moment by coming up to take his drink order and bring them their appetizer, but it left him faintly unsettled. Flirtation always did. He could never rightly tell when someone was interested or just paying decent attention to his dinner companion. Not to mention the fact that Matt's warm stare seemed to be as heavy as a touch on his skin, rousing all sorts of ticklish feelings in his belly. The orgasm in the shower wasn't doing much to keep his libido in check. "So," Matt said after snagging a slice of the pizza.

9 Alex picked up one as well. "I really like the way you've set up the class." "That's good," Matt said. "The progression from the pulp fiction era all the way up to the contemporary is excellent and I liked all the texts. I would suggest that for the final paper you let them pick an outside text to write about if they want to, though, instead of using the class materials. It'll let them do a lot more with the assignment and be less boring to read." "Breathe between sentences," Matt cut in. Alex jokingly took a deep breath and let it out. "I thought you might suggest that. I was on the fence about it myself, so I think that's probably the best way to go. Bored students write bad papers." "So true," Alex said. He looked over the menu for a moment, letting a more comfortable silence settle between them. It was hard not to be aware of Matt's presence at the edge of his vision. He was the sort of man who seemed to fill a room as soon as he stepped inside it; his personality had a pull like a planet's orbit. Or maybe it was only that way for Alex, already enamored of his wonderful voice and beautiful body. "This pizza is good," Matt said. He picked up a second piece and nudged the tray back to his dinner companion. "I might just eat it all if you don't take more." "Save room for dinner. This place is great. How'd you hear about it?" "The department head took me here when I got to town," he said with a grin. "It's the only restaurant I've managed to try that isn't takeout. I have a good Chinese place by my apartment." "Wow," Alex said. "We'll have to do a food tour. There are a ton of good places to eat around here."

10 "I wouldn't mind," Matt replied casually. Not a date, Alex thought to himself, but it was hard to be sure. Matt's foot bumped his under the table and Alex fought to keep his spine straight and not shiver. He wanted to climb over the table and plant himself firmly on the other man's lap, tangle his fingers in the neat blond ponytail and kiss his soft, hot mouth. His cock twitched. So much for hoping the desire would pass after the first meeting; if anything, it had grown stronger. "So, are you planning on trying to get a position at the university when you get your doctorate, or are you going to move?" Matt asked. "I don't know," Alex replied. "I like the school and I'd like to stay, but it's a matter of where the open positions are." "It's worth trying to stay if you like it that much. You seem like you'll make a good teacher if you're always as attentive as you've been with me for the past few weeks." Alex felt his face warming and looked back down at his menu to hide the blush, but Matt chuckled. His foot bumped Alex's again and he glanced up. "Don't be embarrassed. That was a compliment." "Thanks," Alex said. At that moment the waitress came back for their dinner orders. He watched Matt smile at her, very charming, but it held none of the suggestion it did when he smiled at Alex. That was interesting. Or, of course, he could be imagining the whole damned thing. "What was your favorite of the texts?" Matt asked. Alex took another bite of his pizza as he thought of his answer. "Well, it's hard to pick a favorite," he said. "Can I just say I liked the choice of Gaiman for contemporary fantasy? I liked all of them, though. Great picks."

11 "Not too heavy for the students?" "Oh, no way," he said. "It's a lot of reading but it's reading they'll actually enjoy. Or, hell, some of them will have read the material before. I'd already read about half of it." "So you're a speculative fiction fan," Matt said. He leaned forward a little. "I was hoping you were actually interested in the course and not just the open position." "No, I really like the course," Alex assured him. "After dinner we should go back to my apartment and have a beer, talk about books," he said. "I'd like to get to know you better. You seem interesting." "I'd like that," Alex managed, his pulse skyrocketing again. Matt shifted in his seat, fingers dancing around the rim of his glass absently, his bracelet shifting and glinting in the dim light. For the first time Alex noticed that his deep blue button-up shirt bared a small triangle of his tanned chest. His gaze stopped where the second button started. This time when the other man's foot bumped his under the table it didn't move back again. He glanced up, locking eyes with Matt, and heat crackled between them. There was no denying the tension. When the waitress appeared with their dinner, it didn't dissipate. Even when Alex looked down at his food he could feel Matt's attention focused on him. A trip back to his apartment was probably a bad idea from a career standpoint. Though it wasn't as though he wouldn’t be able to grade student work if he was fucking the professor. Really, the ethical concern was negligible, or so he told himself over his first bites. He liked Matt already. His job wouldn't be affected. And it had been so long since he'd been with someone, anyone, that the thought of pressing his body against another warm person was almost more erotic than the specific thought of sex.

12 "Good pasta," the professor murmured, and Alex looked up from his plate and his contemplation. "Yeah," he murmured back. He shifted so his calf was pressed tighter against the other man's leg. Matt didn't move away. Instead he smirked. The dirty little smile sent a flash of liquid heat down Alex's spine. This was going to happen. Knowing that, it was hard to keep a straight face and eat his dinner while restraining himself from offering a quick tryst in the bathroom. He'd never thought of himself as desperate before, but there was no other way to describe his need to have Matt. "Were you born in the city?" Matt said after a few silent, pleasantly tense minutes. "Yeah. Well, in the suburbs, but still. I've lived here most of my life," Alex said. "What about you?" "I was born in Mississippi, and I'd been living in Louisiana for awhile," he said. "After the hurricane, though, I moved over to Texas. Came here from there after a few years at the big university." "I've never been to any of those places," Alex said. "They're nowhere near as exciting as they seem. Mostly hot and damp, except Texas. It's just hot there." Matt grinned. "I'm loving the temperature here." "It does get hot," Alex cautioned. "The summer is miserable. Remember, we aren't really up north. We're just not the Deep South." "But it doesn't stay hot," he replied. "Well, no, it gets pretty damned cold. And you're going to hate the hell out of it, I guarantee." Alex laughed. "If you've never had a real winter where it drops below zero, you haven't suffered temperature."

13 "Probably true," Matt said. "I guess you'll get to hear me bitch by the end of the semester." "We all will," he said. They shared a smile and kept eating. The waiting was driving Alex insane. Constant warmth ran up his leg from where it was pressed to Matt's. The conversation had dulled it for a moment, or just distracted him, but the painful awareness of the other man's presence and intent immediately resurfaced. Finally Matt pushed his plate back. "I can't eat another bite," he said. "Me neither. I'll ask for some boxes." He flagged their waitress and did just that, then grabbed the check before Alex could. "Hey," he said. "I thought this was a business dinner." "It is, and I'm the boss." Matt winked. "Speaking of which," Alex said, reluctant. "Is it, you know, are you okay with us going back to your place to talk? Or is that too personal?" "You don't seem like the kind of man who would behave badly just because he mixed work with play," he said. "I hope not. I've never done it before." Matt took a sip of his drink and then propped his chin on his hand. His smile was nearly a leer. Alex let out a small sigh, drinking in the picture-perfect sight. A small wedge of discomfort had wedged its way into his pleasure, though. "So you do this often?" Alex asked. "Actually, no," Matt replied. "Never with a student, never with a co-worker." "Good," he said before he could stop himself. "I mean…"

14 "No, no, I like honesty." "I'm very honest," he said with a bit of a smile. More like a babbler, but the professor smiled back, so he must have found it cute. "Then let's get out of here and go talk books. I expect you to be honest about that, too. No glossing it over if you disagree with me." "I love a good debate," Alex said. "I live about ten minutes from here. Want to follow me in your car?" "Yes," he said, and there was a weight to the agreement that had nothing to do with driving. Matt's smile widened a little and he reached across the table. Alex bit his lip when the other man's strong fingers wrapped around his hand and squeezed gently. "I like you," he said, his accent thick with warm intent. "Let's go." Alex didn't breathe until Matt let go of his hand and stood. His heart pounded mercilessly in his chest, so hard he was afraid he might have an attack. That squeeze might as well have been on more delicate parts of his anatomy. He followed with his leftovers box almost blindly behind the other man, out the door and to a small green compact car. "This is me," Matt said. "I'm over there, so give me a second." "Waiting," he replied, flashing a grin before slipping into his car. Alex didn't run to his own car, but it took a great deal of effort not to. He did reach down and adjust himself as soon as he settled into the driver's seat, and the zinging pleasure of his own touch nearly convinced him to leave his hand where it was. "I'm going to fuck my boss," he said slowly. "I'm going to fuck Matt Klein."

15 The words felt alien in his mouth. He shuddered with nerves and anticipation. He pulled up behind the professor's car and let him back out, then followed him out of the parking lot and down the road. Dusk had fallen. The air was crisp and held the hint of oncoming fall. It was odd to drive behind someone to his home, knowing that any intellectual discussion was a preface to the slide of skin on skin, mouths and fingers and cocks. His lovers had always been more spontaneous, people he'd known for a long time beforehand, with one bad exception. He wasn't sure he liked the idea of falling into bed with a stranger, no matter how gorgeous or witty. It didn't matter that they would be close later. Matt was still a stranger, a new person. His motives were a mystery. His personality was a mystery. Even his history was a blank. Alex swallowed with a suddenly dry mouth, pulling into an apartment complex behind the other man. People did this all the time, though, starting relationships with sex after a nice date. He parked and climbed out, smoothing his shirt out of nervous habit. Matt walked up to one of the doors and unlocked it, then gestured Alex inside. He followed and shut the door behind him. The living room was bigger than Alex had expected and lined with bookshelves. He could see a kitchen through the doorway at the back and a staircase led up to the bathroom and, he assumed, bedroom. "It's big," he said. "I might buy property here in a year or two if the job is good," Matt said. "But I used to have a house, and I had a lot of stuff to store, even after donating a lot when I moved." "Ah," he said, sticking his hands in his pockets. He felt decidedly unsexy. "You're nervous," Matt said. "Maybe," he replied.

16 "Well, sit down. I'll get us a couple of beers. Check out the bookshelves and see what you think." Alex walked to the nearest shelf and peered at the books. They didn't seem to be arranged past clumps of authors, but that was how he kept his own, so no surprise. The selection was vast and impressive, spanning genres and eras with equal breadth. He jumped at a cold nudge on his forearm. Matt chuckled and handed him the bottle. "There's some stuff I'd like to borrow," Alex said. "No problem," Matt said. Alex opened his mouth to reply but froze when the other man grasped his upper arm and gently turned him. He looked up into those gorgeous blue eyes and waited. He hadn't realized Matt was taller until that moment. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to," he murmured. He flexed his hand gently, reassuring. "I mean it. If I was wrong, we can just talk books and work together and pretend this never happened." "God," Alex said, looking down. "You didn't misunderstand. I'm not a one-night stand kind of guy. I don't know if I'm okay with this being so sudden. I don't know you, you don't know me." "That's right," Matt said. "But I'd like to know you. We're going to work together. You're unbearably handsome. When you walked into my office I thought I was going to have a heart attack." Alex snorted. "No, that was me." "There's a pull I haven't really felt with anyone before," Matt said, stepping a little closer. "I don't want to do this once and not talk about it again."

17 "Okay," Alex whispered, suddenly unsure of what to do with his untouched beer. Matt draped his arms loosely over his shoulders and he wrapped his around the other man's hips. Body heat burned in the scant inches between them. Alex tilted his head faintly to the side, watching with a thrill while Matt licked his bottom lip. He wasn't sure who moved first but they were kissing, the damp catch and press of soft lips. His eyes fluttered shut and Matt's arms squeezed a little tighter. He opened his mouth to the first gentle brush of tongue and groaned at the wet heat of Matt's kiss. Lightning sizzled down his nerves. Still he didn't press closer, leaving their only contact the shifting, searching press of mouth and tongue. "Hmm," Matt murmured, breaking away. "Want to go upstairs?" "Fuck, yes," Alex whispered, loving the way the other man's eyes widened at the profanity. He backed away briefly to put the bottle on the coffee table. Matt took a swig of his and offered a hand. Alex took it, letting himself be led up the staircase. The other man's palm was slightly sweaty and so very warm. He wanted to feel it on his chest, his stomach, everywhere. He noticed there were actually two rooms on the upstairs level: he saw one that looked like an office before Matt guided him to the bedroom. Matt let go of his hand and sat on the edge of the big bed. He put his beer down on the bedside table, already cluttered with a book and reading glasses. Alex stood hesitant halfway into the room, hands tucked once again in his pockets, a tremble of nervousness and perhaps shyness working down his body. "Come here," Matt said quietly, reaching out his hands. Alex sighed and stepped into the offered embrace. He gasped at the flicker of Matt's tongue against his throat, the sudden tight grip of hands on his hips. He tilted his head back and

18 slid his arms around the other man's shoulders. Matt's fingers worked under his shirt and stroked circles on the tender skin of his waist. The bed supported his shaky knees. The other man nipped at his collarbone through his shirt and he jumped. "You can touch me, you know," he said, leaning back to get a good look up at Alex. "Are you sure you're fine? Your job so does not depend on this." "I'm not really, ah," Alex started, feeling his face flush. "I like to be led?" "Oh," Matt said, grinning suddenly. "You could have said." "Just did," he managed. Matt leaned back on the bed, breaking his hold, and took both of his hands. His grin melted into a sexy, sly smirk. Alex smiled back, letting the other man tug him up onto the bed. He crouched over him and held his breath while gentle fingers guided his hands to the hem of Matt's shirt. He didn't need guidance to slide his hands and the shirt up, baring a toned, tanned, lovely stomach. Matt arched his back and wriggled to help him slide the shirt off completely. "Like this?" he murmured and wrapped Alex's ponytail around his fist. Alex's breath caught and he shivered, offering the only answer the other man needed. Matt pulled him down for another kiss, hotter and more frantic than the last. Alex gasped into it when he yanked on his hips to pull him closer. The hot press of Matt's dick against his own through his slacks made him groan and shudder. Matt rolled them over. Alex clutched at his bare back, feeling the ripple of muscle and the slide of fresh sweat. He tossed his head to flip his hair over his shoulder and bent his head to Alex's throat again. His tongue traced a burning line up to his ear and flicked at the lobe. Alex grabbed a handful of Matt’s silky blond hair and tugged, bringing their mouths together again. He toed his shoes off and didn't even hear them fall to the floor. Matt sat up, pulling him along.

19 "Shirt off," he said. Alex stripped off the button-up and threw it, his chest heaving with the force of his breath. Without prompting his fingers found the button of Matt's slacks. He undid them, wrist brushing the obvious bulge of his hard-on. "Damn. Boots." Matt stood, leaving him a rumpled mess on the tangled covers. He propped himself up on his elbows to watch the professor unlace his boots and take them off. The blond man grinned at him and hooked both thumbs in his unzipped pants. Alex swallowed a mouthful of saliva and watched while he slid them down slowly, baring a smooth expanse of tanned skin. He shaved. Alex wanted to whimper. One more tug and his dick bounced free. His tan was indeed full-body. Alex sat up fully while the other man took off his pants. When Matt stepped forward he leaned down, nuzzling the smooth, hot skin of his stomach. His hands grasped strong thighs, lightly fuzzy, and slid up at the same time he slid his mouth down. Matt squeezed his shoulders. He cupped the other man's balls in his hand tenderly, thumb stroking between them. "Put your mouth on me," Matt purred, his voice rumbling with desire. He didn't have to ask again. Alex dragged his tongue up the silky length of his cock, tasting skin, sweat, and musk. One of Matt's hands slipped to the back of his neck and flexed. He opened his mouth and rolled his eyes up to watch the professor's face. Matt stared down at him with burning desire in his gaze, and his eyelids fluttered as Alex slid the first inch into his mouth. The press on his tongue, hard and velvety, sent a wave of lust crashing over him. He worked his mouth farther down, guided by the pressure on his neck, until the head of Matt's dick bumped the back of his throat. He backed off and slid down again, swirling his tongue against the vein. "Fuck," Matt sighed. His sweet drawl seemed made for the word.

20 Alex closed his eyes and drew back, sucking hard enough to hollow his cheeks. Matt thrust his hips in a shallow jerk, following the pleasure, and Alex released him with a faint pop. "Condom," he said, his own voice rough with lust. "I'm not so selfish," Matt replied, pushing gently on his shoulder. He lay back, holding the sheets in his fists while the professor undid his pants and pulled them down. Those lovely hands stroked all the way down his legs and even managed to strip off his socks in a smooth motion. "How's this?" he murmured, crawling back onto the bed and lying down on top of Alex. "Good," he gasped. The other man's spit-slick cock slid against his, all heat and smoothness. He grasped Matt's ass firmly in his hands and squeezed, spreading his legs to offer more room. Matt growled and bucked his hips, rubbing against him. Alex moaned, eyes sliding shut as pleasure sparked in his gut and he thrust up against the other man. One of Matt's hands fisted in his hair and pulled his head to the side. Teeth found his bared throat in a sharp bite that drew a cry from him as he writhed. His skin muffled Matt's moans. He wrapped one of his legs around the other man's waist and moved one hand up to the back of his neck, bracing himself. "Yeah, just like that," Matt groaned, pumping his hips in a steady rhythm that Alex matched. "Close," Alex grunted in reply. Matt leaned back, licked his hand and reached between them. Alex watched down the length of their bodies while he grasped both their cocks in his hand and began to stroke. His jaw clenched around a groan and he pushed up against the strange, wonderful pleasure of dick and palm stroking his cock equally. It had been too long. The tension that wound tight in his belly

21 burst in a sharp wave as he came, moaning, painting stripes of white all over his own chest and Matt's hand. Matt stiffened and gasped, stroking twice more before he finished as well. Alex whined at the sensation of come splashing on his skin. Aftershocks rippled down his spine. "Goddamn," Matt panted, then collapsed to the side. "Well," Alex said, swiping his fingers through the mess on his stomach. "I really, really need a shower." "I'm not opposed to that idea, as long as we wait a minute." Alex closed his eyes, just breathing and letting his heart slow. He smiled as Matt's fingers crept over and locked with his. They were sticky with come. A little shiver of desire wracked his tired body. "Am I spending the night?" he murmured.

"If you want to," Matt said. "Maybe on the second date." Alex turned his head to smile at the professor. "I've got to keep something back to entice you." "I'll work for it," he promised. His grin was bright with amusement. "Come on," Alex said, tugging him up. "I'll wash your back if you wash mine." "You don't have to bribe me. I'll enjoy taking my time touching every inch of you. I want to learn you." Matt wrapped arms around his waist and pulled him into an embrace, his chest pressed to Alex's back. His chin rested neatly on the crook of his neck and shoulder. Alex relaxed into the hug. His breath came out in a quiet sigh as Matt stroked his damp stomach, rubbing in the

22 evidence of their tryst. His cock stiffened a little. Matt hummed and ran his fingers down to cup it. "Not yet," he groaned, shivering at the intense sensation of being touched so soon after orgasm. "Give me a little bit." "Just because you're soft doesn't mean I don't enjoy feeling you," Matt murmured. "Feels too good," he sighed, loving the way his fingers stroked down the curves of his hips. "I thought you were going to learn me in the shower." "Right." Matt kissed his jaw. "Let's get in. I'll make us a snack, too, if you like." "We can get around to that book talk," he replied. Matt let go and stepped around in front of him. Alex swallowed hard at the brilliant view. Matt was muscled head to toe, and his fine, round ass was layered with pink scratches. Alex didn't remember doing that, but seeing his mark on that tanned skin made him want to do it all over again. Belatedly he followed the other man to the bathroom, admiring the way his blond hair complemented his complexion. Everything about Matt was gorgeous. Alex could only hope he hadn't made a mistake falling into bed with him so quickly. It felt odd to wash up and leave for his own empty apartment, but he wouldn't sleep if he stayed, and that wouldn't be good for anything. Maybe once they'd spent time together in the classroom and a few more dates, things would start to feel normal. He wasn't awkward any longer, but while Matt puttered around the bathroom, turning on the shower and setting out towels, Alex stood lost in the corner: nude, freshly fucked, and washing up with a veritable stranger after their first date—which was also a business dinner.

23 "Don't freak out," Matt said over his shoulder. Alex twitched. "I can practically see it on your face. I know it's too much to ask you to be comfortable in a weird place, naked, but I want you to have a good time with me." "I'm sorry," Alex said. "I've already made myself seem like a high-maintenance lunatic. I'm really not, I promise." "It's fine," he said. "Let me wash you. Let me kiss you. I think you'll feel better." Watching Matt step into the shower spray, water cascading down his golden hair and body, it was hard to remember to be shy. He stepped in a moment later and held his breath while their skin brushed, wet and silky. This would be a good thing. He was determined to make it work. "So would you consider us boyfriends now?" Alex said. "I hope so," Matt replied. He picked up a bath-puff and a bottle of shower gel. "Now hush and let me clean you up. If I pamper you, maybe I'll get that second date." Alex found himself grinning softly as the other man lathered the puff and began to wash their come off his stomach. Maybe they were starting the whole dating thing out of order, but if this was the result, he was going to have trouble complaining.

24

Chapter Two The last person Alex wanted to see on the class roster was Kay James. He blew out a breath and sat down hard in one of the desks. Matt looked up from his notes. Fifteen minutes before their students would arrive, he seemed almost nervous. In the two days between their date and this, they hadn’t seen each other, though Matt e-mailed him regularly. What were the odds Kay wouldn't make a scene? Small. Would it be best to confess now and explain the issue, or would the story alienate his new boyfriend? Alex's chest ached at the thought of losing his chance with Matt after that one night. He felt as though he'd bared himself to the other man in more than just the physical way. "There's going to be a problem," he said, hating the tiny quaver in his voice. "I think I should just tell you now, because there is no way he's going to want me grading his stuff." "Who? What?" Matt said, running a hand over his ponytail for the hundredth time. "I have an ex in your class," he said. "Not a nice ex. I'll tell you the whole story tonight, and I can take responsibility for the fact that he really deserves the right to hate me." "You? Hard to imagine," Matt said. "What's his name?" "Kay James." Alex's eyes widened a little as another thought struck him. "He absolutely, absolutely cannot find out that we're seeing each other. Disaster would be imminent." "Okay," Matt said, raising an eyebrow. "I wasn't planning on planting any big kisses on you during class." Alex rubbed the bridge of his nose against an oncoming headache. "Yeah, I know. I'm worried, that's all. You just came here. I can't make trouble for you."

25 "You're not using this to get out of the second date," Matt said slowly. "No! No. Let's chat it out after the class. We can have a coffee." "Sure," he said. Alex closed his eyes and switched to rubbing his temples. A dull throb pounded in his head. He was not prepared to deal with Kay on top of the tender footing of this new relationship. How had he thought that the ethics wouldn't become a concern? Students saw what was in front of them. If he misspoke, or looked too long, or lingered on a touch—they would know about the sordid little romance. Kay would look especially hard. "You're truly freaked out about this guy," Matt said from next to him. Alex jumped, looking up. "And you say he has a reason?" "Yes. Maybe not enough of one for the particular intensity of his hatred for me, but at least a big enough reason to dislike me." "Hmm," Matt said. A warm hand rested briefly on the top of his head, strong fingers massaging his scalp. His breath caught as desire and comfort rolled in shivery waves down his back. Matt smoothed the hand down the back of his neck, leaving a path of heat, then stepped away and smiled over his shoulder at his bewildered teaching assistant. "We can be careful," he said. A scant minute later, the first student walked in. She smiled at both of them and planted herself in the front row, angling for a good seat, before pulling out her cell phone. Her fingers flew over the keys. Alex snorted and stood, crossing to stand behind the lectern with Matt. It never failed to amuse him how even academically focused students had the same habits as the

26 bad ones. Text-messaging was not something he enjoyed, whether or not he was just part of the right generation. "While we go over the syllabus, watch them and give me a rundown," Matt murmured to him so she couldn't hear. The hot tickle of breath on his ear was an added bonus. "Pick out my problem students for me." "Yes, sir," he said quietly. Matt's eyes narrowed a little and he grinned in a way that was thoroughly inappropriate. Alex felt his face burn and he ducked his head. "Can't be doing that," Matt murmured again, brushing his hip with a casual hand. "Fine, Professor," he groused. Students began to trickle into the room in pairs and by themselves. Every time a shoe passed the threshold Alex's back stiffened, and every time he didn't see Kay attached to it he relaxed. His spine was going to be sore by the time the wait was over. Finally, the younger man stepped into the room. Alex was ready for it the moment he glanced up, catching his hazel eyes before they blazed with recognition. He knew Matt was watching, could feel the pressure of his stare. Kay stood halfway into the classroom, jaw clenched, his fist tightening around the strap of his bag. Alex tried not to grimace, smile, or make any expression at all. The temperature might as well have dropped. Silence settled in the room. Kay swallowed once, visibly, and took a seat in the back row. Alex coughed. "Well," Matt said. "Welcome to the study of speculative fiction. I'm Professor Klein. You'll get out of here quickly today. I just want to go over our reading and the syllabus, then you're free." Alex leaned against the chalkboard and flicked his gaze past each of the twenty students while Matt handed out the syllabuses and began to speak. Limiting the attendance for this kind of

27 class was always necessary, as they were so popular. The class was an even mix of men and women. The girl in the dress in the back corner was already staring out the window. Either she didn't like the basic introductions of the first day of classes or she was going to be a space case. A boy in the second row of desks seemed to have forgotten to bring any materials with him at all and sat twiddling his phone. That one would drop the class and open up a space for somebody who was interested, Alex hoped. And there was Kay. His hair was short now, cut close to his scalp to hide the curls. The little scar at his hairline was more visible, though Alex was the only one who would know to look for it. He remembered the way Kay's slim, slender hands felt on his body. The other man glanced at him, found him staring, and bared his teeth in what could have been a very antagonistic smile. Alex shrugged and turned his gaze away. Just because there was a reason, it didn't mean he had to like Kay's baiting. "And that's it," Matt said, startling him out of his reverie. The students shuffled in one mass out the door, except the ex-boyfriend from the abyss. Kay walked up to the lectern with his spine straight and his chin up. Matt's posture relaxed even further in response, perhaps unconsciously. He leaned forward, elbows braced on the wood, and smiled. "What can I do for you, Mr. James?" "I'd like to ask that Mr. Gilman doesn't have anything to do with my work," he said. Alex gritted his teeth. As if he'd grade Kay lower. "All right," Matt said. "In the interest of keeping the peace, I'll agree. Though I suspect I'd have to worry more about him grading you too lightly." Kay's pale face flushed mottled red. Matt smiled a little wider.

28 "Seriously, though,” Matt added, “I'd like this classroom to have a nice atmosphere. Alex is my assistant. He hasn't offered you any stress so far as I've seen, but you've had a problem since you walked in. If he can behave himself, I expect the same from you. Or you can drop." "I understand," Kay said, deflated. "I apologize for being too sharp." "He said you have a damn good reason," Matt said, shifting to stand up straight. "I'd like to have you in the class if you think you can manage it." "I can," he said. "Thank you for your time." Alex let out the breath he'd been holding as soon as Kay disappeared around the corner. A little pinprick ache always wormed its way into his heart when he saw the other man. He really had loved him. "So, I want to hear all about that," Matt said. "It's not a long story," Alex replied. "Coffee and dessert?" "Let me pack up. Is this your last thing today?" "Yeah. Yours?" "Mm-hmm," he said. "How about we make an evening of this? Dinner, coffee, dessert?" Alex smiled. At least Kay hadn't totally freaked Matt out. "I'd like that. Want to follow me to my apartment so I can drop my car off?" "Maybe after dessert I can come up and see it," Matt murmured. "Hush," Alex said, only half-joking. Matt finished packing his books into his bag and gestured for Alex to precede him. He waited while the professor locked the classroom door and followed him down the still-busy hall. For late afternoon, the building was certainly packed. They emerged into a crisp day. Despite the bright sun, the heat had finally broken. Alex wished briefly for a jacket before they set off

29 toward the parking garage. Matt's slacks clung to his ass in a terribly flattering curve and Alex stayed a step behind to watch him walk. "Checking out my ass is not discreet," Matt said. "I'm a slow walker," he replied, grinning. The professor looked over his shoulder with one eyebrow quirked. Alex laughed, trying to let go of some of the nervous tension that had began to clamp down on his chest. He told himself Kay was nothing to be scared of. If he hadn't already managed to ruin the only other relationship Alex had started since they broke up, maybe he would believe it. But this time his job was also at stake. "I guess, meet across the street at the McDonald’s, then you can follow me home," Alex said as they walked up the stairs. "Works for me," Matt said. He left at the second floor with a wave. Alex trudged up two more floors to find his own car. He hoped his apartment was relatively clean and that there were no embarrassing items lying around. Matt coming over hadn't been in his plans for the evening, but it was definitely not something to complain about. He coasted out of the parking garage and crossed the street to the restaurant. Matt pulled out of a parking space behind him and followed him back onto the road. The drive home was uneventful. Alex parked in his usual space, climbed out, and walked over to slip into the passenger seat in Matt's car. The small space between them crackled with heat. Matt leaned over the middle of the seats and pressed his lips to Alex’s. Alex draped an arm over his shoulders, holding him close. They broke apart a moment later. "Let me tell you the story while you drive," he murmured.

30 "Tell away," Matt replied, giving his thigh a quick squeeze before returning his hands to the wheel. "And point me to a new restaurant." "Drive like you're going to the Brewery again. There are all kinds of places around there," he said absently, his mind racing to figure out how to explain Kay. Without realizing it, he'd clenched his fingers in the fabric of his pants. "Kay and I started dating when I was a junior and he was a sophomore. I was, well, I guess you could say more outgoing back then. I partied a lot. He was in a fraternity, which I didn't find out until after I met him at a party." "You have depths I wouldn't have guessed," Matt said. "Yeah, well. We went to a few movies, dinners, and really liked each other. He's a good guy. We dated for about two years. I had started drinking more, still partying a lot, but he was, too. We went to a big thing at his fraternity." Alex felt his face burning. "I got completely destroyed and went upstairs with one of his brothers. I cheated on him, and of course as luck would have it, he walked in on the whole lovely scene." Matt didn't say anything. Alex stared out the window. "That was the only other time I've slept with someone I didn't know," he said quietly. "And I regret it on a regular basis, let me tell you. I quit drinking because of that. It wasn't something I thought I would ever do, and I didn't even want to do it, but I did anyway." "Well," Matt said. "Could have been worse. I can sort of see why he has a problem with you, but it's not like you repeatedly cheated on him." "He thinks I did," he said, glancing over at the professor. "He's completely convinced he only caught me once but I did it all the time. I didn't." "Ah," he said.

31 "If you're going to call this thing quits, now would be a good time to let me know," Alex whispered. "What?" Matt said. "No, that's stupid. Everybody makes mistakes when they're young and dumb. It's not as if you're proud of what you did." He reached out and took Alex's hand in his. Alex dropped his head back against the seat and sighed with relief. One hurdle down. The shame still burned him whenever he thought about that spectacular mistake, but at least Matt wasn't assuming he was rotten to the core for it. Kay would still be a problem, though, especially if he began to suspect anything. "Thank you," he said, drawing Matt's hand up and planting a soft kiss on the palm. "None of that ’til after we eat," he said. "I don't want to get distracted. I'm damned hungry." **** Alex fumbled his keys and nearly dropped them while Matt rubbed against his back with obvious intent, one hand on his hip and mouth on the back of his neck. The steel heat of his cock pressed heavily against the curve of Alex's ass. "God," he gasped. "Unless you're going to fuck me right here in the hallway, let me open the door!" "Not a bad idea," Matt growled in response. "I had to watch you eat that ice cream after dinner. I think my patience is just about up." Finally the key fit the lock and they stumbled inside. Matt let go of him and he turned to brace himself against the back of the couch, breathing hard. The professor stripped his shirt over his head and let it fall to the ground. Alex couldn't look away from the flexing muscles of his chest while he undid his ponytail and shook his blond hair free to frame his face.

32 "Bedroom?" he murmured, drinking in the sight of his lover. "Start stripping," Matt replied, gesturing him to lead down the hall. Alex began unbuttoning his shirt as he walked, his pulse pounding with desire. Visceral memory of feeling Matt's body pressed to his own, all heat and smooth skin, triggered a burst of intense lust. He threw his shirt into the laundry basket as he entered his bedroom and managed to get his pants unzipped and kicked off in record time. He turned to see Matt unlacing his boots. He looked up and flashed a wicked smile. Alex flopped back onto his bed and opened the nightstand for condoms and a bottle of lube. "And what else do you have in there?" Matt purred. He closed the drawer with a wink. "Third-date sorts of things." Matt made a little noise of interest and stripped out of his pants. Alex watched his dick bounce as he kicked the slacks into the corner. He remembered the smooth velvety hardness of it in his mouth and licked his lips. His own cock throbbed in time with his heartbeat. "What do you want to do?" Matt said, crawling up from the foot of the bed until he was hovering over Alex's prone body. His eyes raked a hot trail down to his cock. "Whatever you want to do to me," Alex murmured with a sly smile. "Sir." "Ooh, you remembered," he said. Alex's breath caught as Matt ran a hot hand down his side to grip his hip, thumb brushing the crease where thigh met groin. His dick twitched in response. Matt huffed a small laugh and stroked his thumb in a deliberate line, but Alex was prepared for the flare of pleasure and it didn't elicit the same reflex. "Going to make me work for it, hmm?" Matt said, glancing up at him with blue eyes sparkling.

33 "Maybe," Alex replied breathlessly and rolled his hips up, brushing his hard cock against the other man's belly. "But I think you can make me give it up pretty easy." "I want to fuck you," Matt said. Alex stared into his intense gaze, his body shivering with desire, heart pounding. "I want to wrap your gorgeous legs around my waist and push inside you. I want to make you come while I'm in you." Alex moaned, moving to grab the other man, but Matt caught his hands and pinned them to the bed. He shuddered, flexing his fingers uselessly. Still he didn't break the stare between them. Matt's hair hung in a golden curtain around their faces, narrowing his view to the man holding him down and nothing else, even if he'd wanted to look away. Need plucked at his nerves like harp strings. He wanted to give in so badly to his lover, his boss, his teacher. "You like that," Matt murmured. He bent his head close to his ear and whispered, breath hot and damp on the tender skin. "You want me to tell you how I'll spread you open with my fingers first, make you beg for my cock until you think you're going crazy? Or maybe how I'd like to grab a handful of your hair and fuck your mouth?" "Yes," Alex whimpered, panting, twisting for contact under Matt, who held his body tantalizingly out of reach. "Which one?" the other man asked, hands flexing around his wrists just hard enough to sting a little. "Don't care," Alex moaned. "Fuck me, please." Matt groaned and pulled his captive hands together so he could hold both wrists in one of his own. The free hand skimmed down Alex's chest, making him arch his back into the ticklish sensation, and wrapped around his aching cock. He cried out at the sudden pleasure as Matt

34 squeezed and stroked him. His tongue traced the sensitive shell of Alex's ear, sending another, different bolt of pleasure through his body. "I love it when you're like this," he whispered. "You make me want to do a thousand things to you all at once. You're fucking beautiful." "Oh, fuck," Alex gasped. Matt's fingers brushed his balls and lifted them, gently caressing. He pushed his hips up, spread his legs as far as he could still caged by the other man's body. Matt hummed and brushed a finger over the tender skin of his hole. He whined, straining against the delicate touch. The other man pressed more firmly, massaging the puckered skin, still teasing. "Please," he managed, blinking open his eyes. He didn't remember closing them. Matt looked down at him with such heat in his eyes he was afraid he'd burst into flames. "I'm going to let go of your hands," he said roughly. "Keep them there anyway." "Yes, sir," Alex said. His fingers tingled when Matt released the hold on his wrists, but he only flexed them. The other man grabbed the lubricant and condom from the table and dropped them both on the bed. He sat back on his heels and manhandled Alex's legs until they were spread over his lap. The rough treatment only made him pant harder. He felt like he would simply explode if Matt didn't do something soon. His skin was too hot, too tight for him. The sight of Matt opening the bottle of lube and drizzling it over his fingers made him groan through his teeth and his body tremble with anticipation. He'd been fucked since Kay, but only by his own toys, and nothing could match the real thing. "Let me know if you're uncomfortable," Matt said, sliding his wet fingers down the crease of Alex's ass.

35 "Oh God," he moaned, writhing. "Not going to be a problem." Matt took him at his word and pushed one finger inside, slowly, steadily, until his hand met the curve of Alex's butt. The younger man whimpered, biting his lip, eyelids fluttering. The slightest burn accompanied the feeling of being filled, stretched. He rocked his hips. Matt teased the rim with another finger, rubbing and sliding until Alex cried out, then pushed it inside as well. "Relax," he whispered. Alex couldn't reply. Matt's other hand wrapped loosely around his cock and began to stroke in slow counterpoint to the tiny thrusts of his wrist. Pleasure and pleasurable burn raced equally over his nerves. When Matt twisted his fingers, the tips brushing that spot inside him, he cried out. "Ready?" Matt asked. "Yes," Alex groaned. He wasn't sure when the other man had put on the condom, but the strange slick barrier of latex slid against him while Matt slipped his fingers out. He let his breath out in a sigh as Matt began to push. The burn was not intense but it stung. He moaned long and loud while Matt slid into him an inch at a time. The other man stopped halfway, hands braced on Alex's waist, and shifted the angle of his hips. Alex moved one of his legs up to Matt's shoulder and he collapsed onto his elbows over him, driving even deeper. Alex cried out hoarsely at the sudden crash of pleasure through his body. "There," Matt said, and it wasn't a question. Alex moaned again, flexing his hands in their imaginary trap. Matt withdrew the barest fraction and thrust against him. Again, nearly painful pleasure rolled from head to toe. The

36 addition of a warm, slick hand around his dick almost pushed him over the edge. His body burned beyond his control with pleasure and the slightest amount of pain. Matt began to fuck him with tiny shoves, intentionally stimulating him as much as possible. "More," he gasped, rocking to increase the friction. The dragging slide of the other man's dick sent sharp sparks of ecstasy through his belly. Matt groaned and bit his shoulder, digging his teeth in as he thrust harder and withdrew further. The combined sensations were too much for Alex to bear. Hand stroking him hard, cock stretching and filling him, pressing against all the right places inside. He would have screamed as he came but he had no air and could do no more than gasp, frantically, over and over as he climaxed. "Just a little more," Matt begged, grabbing his hip for added leverage. Alex groaned in response, seeing nothing but white behind his eyelids. He shuddered with the continued fucking. After his orgasm, Matt felt huge inside him, every thrust lighting up a thousand nerves with extra pleasure. He felt intimately the pulse of the other man's dick as he came with a sharp cry, shivering through a hard climax. One more thrust and Matt stilled above him, panting harshly and loudly. He opened his eyes, feeling languid, sated and perhaps a bit sore. Matt smiled down at him and slid carefully out, stripping off the condom and throwing it in the trash can. He made a tiny noise that wasn’t even a word, and closed his eyes again. Definitely sore. "Nap time," Matt grumbled. "You can move your hands now." Alex rolled onto his side and the other man spooned up behind him, hands finding his and threading their fingers together. For a moment, the comfortable press of another person's body to

37 his brought the sting of tears to Alex's eyes. He hadn't realized the extent of his own loneliness until Matt smiled at him and offered him dinner. It was worth whatever trouble would come, just for this. The warm gusts of breath against the back of his neck lulled him into a soft sleep. **** The alarm cut into Alex's dreams and he moved to turn it off. Warm flesh met his searching hand instead. He opened his eyes and sat up, memories of the night before crashing down on him. He suspected Matt hadn't meant to spend the night, but here he was, sleeping soundly at seven thirty in the morning in Alex's bed. His lips were parted slightly, blonde hair fanned all over his pillow; the picture was somewhere between adorable and handsome. Alex took a deep breath and let it out. The joy that suffused his heart was a little silly when he really thought about it. Matt was his lover, but this was only the second date. They were still nearly strangers. He tapped the snooze button on the alarm clock. He couldn't seem to help the happiness, though. Every glance down at the professor, looking even younger in his sleep, made him giddy. After the story about his prior indiscretions and the lightly glossed-over fact that he'd had a drinking problem hadn't ruined their evening. He'd learned that Matt's newest reading kick was urban fantasy—the detective sort, not the romantic sort—and that he disliked wine intensely. He also had sensitive teeth that couldn't quite handle ice cream and so he'd ordered a soft cake for his dessert. Alex reclined on his side and reached out to brush his knuckles over Matt's cheek. The other man shifted, grunting, but didn't wake. He rubbed his upper arm. After a moment of playing his fingers over the warm, smooth skin, Matt stirred. He blinked his eyes open slowly and smiled, a sexy, languorous expression.

38 "It's morning, isn't it?" he said, hoarse with sleep. "Yeah. Hope you didn't need to get up before seven-thirty." "I usually sleep ’til nine," he groaned. Alex lost his response when the other man wrapped his arms around him and pulled his body close. His morning-hard cock brushed Matt's stomach. The professor reached down to cup it in his hand, sending a little shock of pleasure with his touch. "I have to get ready," Alex murmured, shimmying a little. "No time for wake-up sex." "Are you sure?" Matt said. His fingers cleverly played up and down the shaft. "Very, very sure? Or can you be a little late?" "Mm," he replied, rolling into his back. Matt followed him with kisses, first on his chest and then up to his mouth. "Maybe if we both get in the shower first." "Multitasking," Matt murmured against his lips, the soft air tickling him. "I like that." "Then come on," Alex said, rolling out of bed. After a moment to use the restroom, he climbed into the shower with Matt. The intimacy felt a bit strange but still good. Matt stole his soap and began to lather it in his hands. His tanned body looked even more beautiful dripping with water, hair plastered to his chest and back. His cock was flushed a dusky red color. "I'm going to wash you," he said before Alex could ask. "My treat." "Not going to complain," he murmured. Matt started on his shoulders. Alex closed his eyes and sighed with pleasure as those big hands massaged his body, spreading soap suds in their wake. Fingers kneaded his chest, stroked his belly, swept up the line of his back. He blinked when Matt dropped to his knees and started

39 over with his ankles. He squeezed his calves, then his thighs. Alex's breathing sped up and he leaned into the touch. Matt smiled up at him, lips parted slightly, water cascading around them. "I don't have to ask," he whispered. Alex moaned sharply at the combined wet heat and the visual as Matt opened his mouth further and sucked the head of his cock. He put one hand on the shower rail and the other on Matt’s head, smoothing fingers through his wet hair. Matt angled his head back and rolled his eyes up, bright blue catching Alex's gaze. Alex bit his lip at the sensation of his cockhead rubbing the roof of the other man's mouth. Matt winked and slid his mouth down until Alex's dick not only bumped the back of his throat, but pushed further. Alex cried out. Matt swallowed around him, working his throat in sweet waves of sensation. "Oh, God," Alex gasped, clutching at his hair harder than he intended to. "Going to come." Matt swallowed one more time, then pulled back and began to stroke, quick and hard with a little squeeze at the head. Alex's legs trembled as his orgasm broke over him. Matt closed his eyes and let the first splash of semen paint his face and lips. Alex groaned, shuddering, the sight searing itself into his brain in the most pleasant way possible. The water rinsed away the evidence within moments, but when Matt grinned up at him, he knew he wouldn't be the only one thinking about that finale all day. "Just let me rub against you," Matt growled. 'Turn around." Alex braced himself against the shower wall and grunted as Matt flattened himself against his back, dick pressing at the curve of his ass. Their water-slick flesh slid easily. Matt reached down and grabbed his ass in both hands, spreading his cheeks and sliding between them. The hot, hard pressure made him shudder. He laid his head against the still-cool tile while Matt

40 began to thrust. It was almost unbearably erotic to feel him shoving hard against his sensitive body, sliding up and down the crease of his ass. "You've got the sweetest butt," Matt purred, smacking him lightly. Alex gasped. The next moments passed in a splendor of heat and motion that made him wish he could get hard again immediately. Matt began to pant against his shoulder, mouth open, teeth pressed gently to his skin. He bit down when he came, groaning, the splash of his semen hotter than the water on the small of Alex's back. "You're going to leave marks," Alex said weakly, heart still pounding. "Where only I can see them," Matt replied then licked the sore spot in apology. "I'm going to be late for my early class." "I'll write you a voucher," Matt said with a little laugh. "You were helping me this morning. With things. Important things." "Yes, write it just like that," he said. "I'm sure they won't be suspicious of what we were doing together this early." "Maybe I'm one of those freakish early risers." "How about I'm just a little late to class?" Matt stepped back, rinsing himself off. "I really can write a note so you can be late. Just say you were helping me out with some stuff for tomorrow's class." "If you think it'll work," he said. "Let me get my hair washed." "I'll get on out and dry off," Matt said. "I can shower again at my place. I really just wanted one more taste of you for the day. It makes everything better." His grin was purely wicked and flirtatious, but it held a hint of more tender emotion.

41 "I had a lot of fun," Alex said as he lathered his hair. "Me too," Matt replied, pulling the shower curtain closed again after he stepped out. "Third date?" "Yeah," Matt said. Alex could practically hear the smile in his voice. "Third date. We stop counting after that." "So far, so good," he said, rinsing himself under the spray. "I'll wait for you out there." Alex sighed as the hot water soothed his sore body. His lower back ached fiercely and his shoulder was tender with bitten bruises that he could see from the corner of his eye if he strained his neck. The little purple indentions of Matt's teeth sent a rush of emotion through him: pleasure, tenderness, a sense of belonging and perhaps the smallest hint of fear. Fear of being abandoned, of being discarded after allowing such an intimate knowledge of his body and self. He still couldn't trust Matt completely, but that was normal. He still didn't know the other man's birthday, or his favorite color, or if he liked his own car. He shut the shower off. In the empty silence of the bathroom, his sudden loneliness was a blow that would have staggered him if it had been physical. When he thought about all the things he didn’t know about his new lover and compared them to the things he did, the lists were drastically different. What if Matt really was just around for the sex? What if he didn't think about things like Alex's birthday or his favorite food? He could be tricking himself into seeing care in Matt's touches where there wasn't any. He had jumped straight to sexual interest without real acquaintance first, and wasn't that a sign, if anything? Alex frowned at himself in the foggy mirror and wrapped his towel around his waist protectively. Matt was new to the city and lonely,

42 and laid eyes on a fairly attractive man who just happened to be his TA. That was uncharitable, but Alex feared it might be true. He ducked out of the bathroom and across the hall to his room. With a shut door between them, and soon clothes also, Alex felt a little more secure. He smoothed his wet hair back into a ponytail and checked himself over in the mirror before walking to the kitchen. The TV flipped channels in the living room, flickering from nature programming to commercials to a crime show. Matt was waiting. He poured himself a cup of coffee—it had a timer to brew itself with his alarm—and took a fortifying sip. "Hey," he said, sitting down on the couch next to Matt. His next words spilled out in a torrent. "I think we should hold back on the sex for a little bit. I mean, I love it, but I want to date you. Not just fuck you. Okay?" Matt draped an arm over his shoulders and pulled him into a little half hug. His heart pounded uselessly with nerves and fear. Would the professor think he was completely or just slightly crazy? "That's fine," he said after a moment. The TV channel had fallen on the shopping network. "I got the feeling you were pretty nervous about it before and after, just not during. How about we do the third-date rule? Three more dates, starting with tomorrow night when I would like to take you to a movie and dinner, before we do anything else naked." "Okay," Alex said, nearly sighing out his agreement. The iron band of tension lessened and he relaxed into the hug, turning his face to press against Matt's neck. He smelled faintly of sweat still, the faintest tang of salt and musk. "I just don't want to make a mistake. I'm not a casual guy."

43 "I'm not either," Matt said. He put his chin on top of Alex's head and hugged him closer. "I don't mind proving that to you. Keeping our hands off each other is going to be so much more difficult than you're anticipating, though." "I think I can manage," he replied, grinning against the warm skin under his lips. "Now write me that excuse note so I can go to class. Say we were going over a last-minute change to the syllabus." "I can do that."

44

Chapter Three The phantom ache of his shoulder where it rubbed his shirt equally aroused and disturbed Alex. The classroom was still empty save the same girl who'd shown up early last time, but as he shifted again and felt that bruised sting, he was irrationally sure Kay would know. As soon as he walked in and looked at Alex, he would know what had happened between Matt and him. It didn't make any sense. There was no way to see the mark unless he decided to start taking off his clothes in the middle of the lecture. "You seem a little wigged out," Matt said under his breath. The girl looked up at them and Alex bit his lip. "Are you feeling okay?" "Yeah, I just have a sore spot on my back that's bugging me," he said, raising his eyebrows. "Stings a little." Matt's lip twitched for a moment, fighting what would probably have been a remarkably lascivious grin. Arousal won out over nervousness at the heat the professor directed in his stare. He imagined he could feel his pulse in the bruise, throbbing quicker and quicker. Maybe he could. Matt had bitten the same spot more than once, the last time especially hard. "Good afternoon," rang Kay's voice, startling Alex so badly he flinched. "Hi there," Matt drawled, playing up his accent, and smiled. "Hello," Alex said. It wasn't his imagination that his voice sounded a bit strangled. This time, the younger man took a front row seat next to the early girl. Alex rubbed his shoulder instinctively and fought a shiver at the ache. He sat in the chair he'd dragged in for himself and watched while the students filed in for their second day. He felt Kay's eyes on him

45 but didn't look. Looking would be the same as acknowledging. The bored young man from the first class didn't return, much to his relief. Within moments of the last student sitting down, Matt launched into his first lecture, and Alex rested his head against the wall. One day between his ultimatum and this afternoon. Matt would be buying him dinner when class was over, after they discreetly rendezvoused at his apartment to get into one car. His heart gave a little leap at the thought. Just because Matt had agreed to the physical hiatus didn't mean he was serious about it, but he seemed earnest, and this would be the test. Alex lazily blinked his eyes back open and found himself looking at the round curve of Matt's butt. He flicked his gaze away and found that Kay had stopped staring at him. In fact, he was leaning forward a little in his desk, listening with rapt attention and a little bit of a flush to his cheeks. Alex wanted to get up and wrap his hands around his ex's throat for one startling, vicious moment. His own violence shocked him and he sat up straighter. Kay would never make a move on Matt, so why did it matter if he was staring at him like he was something to eat? Even as he thought it, his heart didn't agree. It did matter, and it mattered a lot. He glanced at Matt and found he wasn't even looking in Kay's direction. Alex’s jealousy, like a sated snake, curled back down into his gut. He inspected with new eyes the stark, attractive lines of Kay's high cheekbones and pale skin. His short hair wasn't as cute as it used to be when it was long, but it did draw more attention to his eyes. The body loosely hidden with shorts and a tank top was compact but not bony. He was terribly handsome, viewed as a whole. Despite that observation Alex felt no renewed attraction to him, nothing more than a bitter anger.

46 "And that's all for today," Matt said, snapping him out of his reverie. "Read the first half of the book by next Tuesday, okay?" A series of grumbled assents signaled the end of the class. The students filed out, all but Kay, who fiddled with his books until the room was empty. Alex resisted the urge to bare his teeth at the other man. He approached the desk and flicked his gaze once to Alex before dismissing him. "Professor Klein," he said. "I'm sorry again for my behavior last time. I loved today's lecture and the syllabus is amazing. I hope we can overcome our rocky start and have a good semester." Matt pinched the bridge of his nose. "Thank you," he said. He began packing up his things. "I think you and Alex will be on better terms by the end of the semester. I hope you continue to enjoy the class." The other man stalked out of the room, leaving a much clearer, happier air behind him. "So," Matt said. "See you in a bit?" "Yeah, I have to pick up a paper from last semester first," Alex said. "So I might be a couple of minutes late. Can you find it on your own?" "Sure," the professor said. He tossed his bag over his shoulder and offered Alex a hand out of his chair. He took it with a smile, letting the warm pleasure of their touching hands rush up his arm. It was the most they could manage in such a public setting. Matt winked at him once before walking out the door. He began packing up his books and the blank notebook in which he'd intended to jot down his opinions on the lecture. Footsteps made him look up, and he found Kay staring down at him. He didn't look angry, but he was always a little pissed off, in Alex's experience.

47 "Hello," he said cautiously. "What did you tell him about us?" Kay said, planting on hand firmly on his hip. "The truth," Alex said with a shrug. "I'm not going to lie about it. I've told you a thousand times, I know what kind of an asshole I am for what I did. He knows." "He still seems to like you," Kay said. Alex stood up, brushing past him. "I'm going to say something trite, but honestly, people make mistakes. It was a shitty thing to do. I know that. But it was a mistake, and I learned from it." "What?" Kay said, grabbing his arm. He wrenched free with a snarl and turned to face him. "So cheating on your lover is a simple ‘mistake’ now? Once, I'd believe, but when you do it more than once, it's not a mistake." "Oh, for fuck's sake," Alex snapped. "It was once. It always has been once. You caught me. I would have told you anyway when I sobered up if you hadn't. I made a mistake!" "Liar," he said, stepping into Alex's space with his lip curled. "I wish I could fucking hit you," he said, his voice low. "Won't change the fact that you're a lying sack of shit." "I'm leaving now," Alex said. His blood burned with rage. He clenched his fists and stalked out, blocking out Kay's continued yelling. He punched the elevator button with his finger harder than was entirely necessary. Kay might follow him out, but he wouldn't bring the fight into the packed lobby. It was the same fight they'd had a thousand times. Kay would rather believe the worst and there was nothing, no evidence he could put forth, to convince him otherwise. But that didn't mean that every time Kay spouted accusations he didn't get angry.

48 So much for hoping he wouldn't be a problem. Now not only was he hitting on Matt, he was cornering Alex for fights. Grudges should only go so far. Three years was a long time to get over a messily ended relationship. That was longer than they'd even been together. Alex could only hope dinner with Matt would soothe his bad mood. As he stepped onto the elevator, blessedly alone, he had to admit that under the rage was a little core of hurt. Kay had loved him once, and he had loved Kay. How could you believe that someone you loved was so terrible? Did he really seem like that bad of a person throughout the relationship that Kay would believe he was only a liar and a cheater? The other man's pain was his fault and he could admit that, but Kay didn't seem to care that his blind loathing was almost as severe. Alex seethed all the way to his car and all the way to his apartment, but the sight of Matt leaning against his little car lightened his heart a little. With all of that blond hair free and blowing in the wind, he looked a bit like a poster boy for a romance novel. Alex caught his sudden smile as soon as he glanced up at the incoming car and realized it was his lover, and that helped with his mood, too. "Hey," he said as he stepped out. "Where are we eating?" "I was thinking Italian and a movie," Matt replied and pushed away from his car. "Know where I can find either of those things?" "Sure," Alex said with a laugh. "You've really got to explore more. Learn your way around." "I've been teaching and learning all about my new TA. I haven't had time to go Sunday driving," Matt said, ending the sentence in a little playful growl. "True," Alex said. He didn't fight the smile that spread across his lips as he offered his hand to the other man. "Take my car?"

49 "I'll pay attention to the roads, I promise," he replied. His fingers were warm and wonderful as they laced with Alex's. They leaned in for a short, soft kiss, mouths pressed tenderly together. Alex eased back and squeezed the hand he was holding gently before letting go. Matt followed him to his car and climbed in. The late afternoon sun cast beams the same color gold as the professor's hair over everything, blinding in its intensity. Alex squinted for a moment, then gave up and flipped down the visor to block some of the glare. A warm hand found his knee. He glanced over at Matt and found him relaxed in his seat, eyes half-closed in a dreamy expression. He thought about asking him to watch the road but his calm and ease was at once beautiful and sweet. He said nothing, only smiled. The hand on his knee didn't move the whole drive to the nearest decent Italian restaurant. As soon as he parked the car and Matt shifted as if to sit up he reached across the seats and grabbed a firm handful of the other man's hair. Matt smiled wickedly at him and leaned in, parting his lips slightly in invitation. Alex kissed him, thoroughly, heat sparking in his belly while he slid his tongue against the seam of the professor's lips and into his mouth. "Hmm," Matt moaned into the kiss. "Dinner time?" Alex pulled back with a gasp. "Three dates," he said breathlessly, willing away the beginnings of an erection. "I made the rule and I'm going to stick to it. Promise." "And I promise it's going to be harder than you think," Matt said with a grin then opened his door and got out. **** In the dark theater, with Matt's hand on his upper thigh, Alex had to admit he was right. The throbbing of his pulse, hot with desire, had spread through his entire body. He couldn't focus

50 on the film, only the individual presses of each finger against his leg through his pants. He wished for those fingers to shift, move, rub higher and higher until Matt reached the juncture of his thighs, and a little more until he was touching his hard cock. He bit his bottom lip and indulged in the fantasy. Matt would take him out of his pants, here in the back row where no one would see them. The hem of his button-up would provide a little cover. At the very end, while Alex twisted and held his breath, Matt would lean down and suck his cockhead until he came in hard spurts. He wouldn't moan, afraid of being caught and also aroused by it. "You're not paying attention," Matt drawled into his ear, hot breath a tantalizing stroke against his skin. "Are you?" "No," he admitted. "You want this," Matt said with a suggestive flex of his hand. "But you can't have it." "Maybe we could count the dinner and movie as separate dates. Two down." "Nope," he said. Alex looked over to see the now-familiar grin. "You made the rules. I recall a promise. But I would really love to escort you to the bathrooms and press you up against one of the stall doors. I'd like to get on my knees and suck you off." Alex's breathing deepened, quickened. "If I get myself off, does it count as sex?" "Only if you don’t wait 'til I'm not watching." "Keep talking," he replied. "All right," Matt purred. "But I wouldn't let you come that way. I'd turn you around and lick you there, get your sweet, tight little ass all sloppy wet. It would still sting a little when I fingered you open, but you're so hot for it you just bite your sleeve and whine. I want to fuck you in that bathroom and watch your hole stretching around my dick. I want to pull your shirt up and look at the way your back arches so you can push back against me and get me deeper."

51 "Oh, God," Alex groaned, gripping the armrests to keep from tearing his pants open. Matt's tongue flickered out to run along his ear, sending a shockwave of pleasure down his spine. He arched his back. "Just like that," Matt whispered. "And you'll jerk yourself while I fuck you, and it still burns but it feels great too. I'm so deep in you it makes you want to scream, but you can't, because someone will hear us. Do you want me to come inside you?" "Yes, yes," he panted. Behind his closed eyes, the pictures played in high color, and he swore he could almost feel Matt doing everything he promised. "I do, then. I pull on your hair to make you arch again and I pound you until I come. You do when I do, and you paint the stall door white with your spunk. I pull out and you're dripping, so I clean you up. Then we go out and drive home like nothing ever happened, but you're still sore and sated." Alex said nothing, panting heavily. He couldn't pry his fingers off the armrests. He wanted to run to the bathroom and get off, never mind the stupid movie, but he wasn't sure he could actually get up and walk with the aching, throbbing hard-on tenting his pants. "One date down," Matt whispered, finally touching him, but only to slide an arm around his shoulders. The fingers he'd imagined around his dick pressed the bite on his shoulder. "I wish I could suck you off right now." "Me fucking too," Alex said. Matt only laughed, a rich, rolling chuckle. Alex dropped his head back onto the seat and tried to calm his breathing. The vivid pictures racing past his mind's eye didn't help, but he thought of other things, like Kay's stillsimmering rage. That helped like a bucket of cold water on his crotch. "What's wrong?" Matt murmured.

52 "I forgot to tell you," he said, sitting up again. He leaned in closer to whisper. "Kay accosted me after you left and screamed at me for a little while. The same stuff as always." "You know, he worries me. He seems a little too—what's the word?—batshit crazy." "He's not crazy," Alex said. Matt raised an eyebrow at him. "Really, he's not. He's just a little obsessive. He's always been like that." "I think you're making excuses for him, which is understandable given your own blame in the situation, but he's nuts. And he seems to be interested in me." Alex frowned. "I thought I was imagining that." "No, the doe eyes and flirting were enough to tip me off," he replied. "Hots for me, hates you. If he finds out about us like you're worried he will, it'll be a double reason for him to rat us out." Alex hummed his agreement. The credits began to roll on the screen and Matt smiled again, though it was a little strained by their new worries. They laced fingers and walked out of the theater hand in hand to Alex's car. "Would you like me to spend the night again?" Matt said. The cold night air whistled around them with wind and clouds blew heavy over the sky. A storm was on its way. Alex drew in a deep breath of lightning-scented air and sighed. No sex was the bargain, but did that mean no cuddling? On the other hand, if he woke up with Matt's cock nestled against his bare skin, resisting would be difficult. "Hell," he said. "Why not? Yes, I'd like that." "I'll wear my boxers if you will." Matt grinned cheekily at him over the car while he unlocked the doors. They climbed in. "I think naked skin would be too much for our powers of self-denial."

53 "There's a plan," Alex replied, grinning back. "I was just thinking about that." "I could tell by the look you get when you're thinking about sex," he said. "It's a good look. I really enjoy it." "Hmm," he said. "I have a sex look?" "Of course. Everyone does. Yours is just delicious." "I'll keep that in mind," Alex said. The rain started halfway back to his apartment. By the time they parked, the deluge had opened in full. Matt laughed as they raced inside, free and wild. The pair stood dripping in Alex's living room, drenched from only a moment in the downpour. "If it wasn't so fucking cold, I'd say we should go play in it," Matt said. "Rain is never like that down where I'm from." "Oh, God," Alex laughed. "You haven't experienced freezing rain yet!" "That sounds goddamn horrible," Matt said, a mock-scandalized expression on his face. "I guess I'll throw my things in the dryer. Want me to toss your clothes in there too, then we can get in bed and warm up?" "Sure," Alex said. They undressed in companionable silence, stealing glances at each other's bodies as they were revealed. Alex noticed that Matt's tan had begun to fade a little. His skin was still golden, but it wasn't quite a deeper color than the bracelet on his wrist anymore. Matt padded nude into the kitchen where the dryer was stashed and after a long moment probably spent looking at the controls, the telltale rumble began. He stepped out, arms wrapped around himself loosely. "I'm freezing," he said. "Let's towel off and lie down," Alex said.

54 He snagged a towel out of the hall closet and rubbed down with it. While Matt did the same he got them both fresh pairs of underwear and slipped into his. Matt took the boxers gratefully. They clung to him indecently but he didn't complain about them being too small. Instead, they huddled under Alex's sheets. He rolled so Matt could press up against his back, his longer legs tucked up with Alex's. The slide of bare skin against bare skin made him shiver with desire and pleasure. Matt's cock nestled against the curve of his butt through flimsy cotton. Warm breath tickled the back of his neck. After a moment, the sexual urge settled into a sensual longing. Matt's thumb drew slow circles on his arm. "This is nice," he murmured, sleepy already. "Yeah," Matt rumbled. "It really is." **** The alarm went off too early for Alex. He reached over the warm, lightly snoring mass of Matt's body and hit snooze. At least it was the last day of the school week. Saturday and Sunday were devoted to his part-time job—which, now that he thought about it, he'd failed to mention to Matt. The oddness of being in bed with someone who didn't even know about his other job washed over him, but it brought with it less nervousness than before. Matt was either very determined to get sex and therefore willing to wait or he was legitimately interested. For once, Alex decided it would be best to think on the bright side. Matt was here because he liked him, and that was good enough for now. "Hey," he murmured, smoothing a hand through the wild mane of Matt's hair. The professor grumbled and his eyelids fluttered. "Time to get up." "It's fucking early," he groaned.

55 In a flash he wrapped both arms around Alex's middle and pulled him back down to the bed. He nuzzled his face against the crook of his shoulder and sighed, pleased. Alex chuckled. The world outside his bedroom seemed uninviting when faced with the cuddling prowess of Matt Klein. "I do have to go to my classes today," he said, stroking Matt's back. The skin was warm, smooth and slightly sweat-damp where he had been lying. "Damn university." Another stubble-rough nuzzle to Alex's chest and Matt pried himself up. His hair looked like a lion's mane, sticking out in all directions. Alex smiled and rolled out of bed. He fished through his closet to find an outfit for the day. "You probably shouldn't join me in the shower," he said at the door. Matt grinned. The sheet slid down to reveal his abdomen when he sat up. Alex's eyes found the suggestive trail of blond hair on his lower belly and swallowed hard. He stepped into the hall and quickly afterwards the bathroom before he could give in to temptation. After all, he'd delivered the ultimatum; it would be stupid of him to be the one to break it. The first spray of hot water drew a pleased groan from his lips. His back ached slightly, perhaps from sleeping curled around another person, which was an experience he hadn't had for a long time. He ran his fingers down the vein on the underside of his stiff cock and sighed at the ticklish pleasure. It reminded him of the quick jerk-off before his first dinner with Matt. The tension from the movie theater the night before rushed in on him in hot memories. The burn of Matt's breath on his ear as he whispered filthy fantasies, the riotous need that consumed him and couldn’t be sated; he stroked himself solidly and groaned. He wanted to come quickly. Pleasure spiraled tighter and tighter in his belly as he tugged and stroked, squeezing a little at the head,

56 while replaying his images of Matt's fantasy. Spread out against a bathroom stall door, panting and biting his own arm to keep from screaming while the other man fucked him hard and deep. "God," he gasped, leaning his shoulder against the wall so he could cup his balls with the other. He rolled them in his palm as well as he could with them drawn up tight to his body. The image burned behind his eyes repeated itself again: Matt, fucking him, grunting and coming inside him. He came with a little shout, banging his head clumsily against the shower wall. He was surprised and grateful when Matt didn't knock on the door and ask if he was all right. He rinsed off with shaky hands and washed his hair in a hurry, just as worried about being late as he had been that fantastic evening. When he stepped out into the living room, Matt smirked at him, and it was a filthy expression, filled with knowledge and intent. He felt himself blushing. Even in his dryerwrinkled clothes from the night before, the professor was still gorgeous. His hair needed a good comb, though, and perhaps a wash. "I'll walk you down," he said. "Hope you had a good shower." Alex sputtered. "I plan on having a very good shower as soon as I get home," he continued, leering. "You're horrible," Alex managed before picking up his bag for class. "I'm very sweet," Matt corrected. "Just a bit gutter-minded, that's all." "Want to get takeout tonight and watch television?" he asked. "Sure," Matt said. "As long as it counts as a date." "Oh, it counts." Alex ran his hand down the other man's back on the way down the stairs. He squeezed one firm ass cheek in his hand. "I only wish last night counted double."

57 "Patience," Matt purred. He planted a soft kiss on Alex's lips before slipping into his own car. "I'll see you tonight. Call when you're ready?" "Of course," he agreed. **** "Is it okay if I work on a paper tonight?" Alex said into his phone as he walked to his car, clutching a guideline for a ten-page paper due the next Wednesday. Not even a week to research, compose and edit. "I have to get started on it ASAP, and I have to work this weekend." "Yes, and you have another job?" Matt said. "Shit," he said. "I meant to tell you last night before we went to bed. I work at that bookstore on MacKentire Street on the weekends for an awesome discount and some extra cash." "As long as you're not a stripper," he said, laughing a little. The warm sound of it eased some of the stress settling on Alex's shoulders. "Actually, that would be kind of hot. Put that on the list of things we should do after the third date." "Go to a strip club?" "Dance for me," he purred suggestively. "I'll think about it," he said. "Meet me at my place in thirty, okay?" "Sure," Matt said, just as he reached his car. "Talk to you soon. I'll pick up pizza, okay?" "I like most toppings," he said, smiling. "Bye." "See ya," Matt drawled. His line clicked off. Alex slid into his car and tossed the assignment sheet onto his passenger seat. Usually the work didn't start piling on in the first week, but now that he was a graduate student, greater things were expected of him. Maybe this professor was just trying to see who would drop the class after such a tough first assignment. It was only on a short story of choice within the

58 modernist era, analytical style. He could manage that. After a summer off, it was just harder to get back into the groove, especially while juggling a new relationship with his TA duties, his classes, and his weekend job. He hadn't really thought about how Matt would actually fit into his day-to-day rush. The first week of their relationship had been easy, before the semester started. Soon the work would pile on, from Matt's end and Alex's. Matt's car wasn't there yet when he pulled up to his apartment. He strolled upstairs and brought his laptop into the living room, kicked off his shoes, and settled in to work. He'd barely begun composing a list of possible subjects when one knock on the door preceded its opening. Matt kicked it shut behind him, carrying two pizza boxes. "Is that all for us?" Alex asked. "I figure we could have lunch or cold pizza breakfast before you go to work tomorrow. And here I was, hoping to have you to myself all weekend." "I'm only there until nine," he replied. "You'll have the whole night." "I'll have to take you out to a late-night dinner, then, for date number three," Matt said with a grin. Alex grinned back. The professor sat the boxes on the coffee table and hesitated. "I don't know where your plates and stuff are," he said. "I'll show you." Alex stood up and nudged him into the kitchen. He opened one cabinet and handed the other man two plates. "Plates and serving dishes here, cups are here," he said, pointing to the cabinet next to it. "The others are all just stuffed with things I didn't have anywhere else to put." "Okay."

59 Alex closed the cabinet door, the usual sensation of oddness giving way to a warm, affectionate feeling. Matt was learning his life, his home, his quirks. He'd missed that shared knowledge without anyone in his life. Now he had someone to care about, who in turn cared about him. "Maybe after work tomorrow I can come to your place?" Alex offered. "Sure," Matt said, smiling. It wasn't hard to see he was pleased. "I'd love that." They grabbed drinks from the fridge and made their way back to the living room. Alex curled up on the couch, tucked his legs underneath him, and put two slices on his plate. Matt sat as close as he possibly could, his body pressing in a long, warm line against Alex's. He handed over the remote and helped himself to a few slices of pizza. Alex turned on the television, selected a comedy act to watch and settled in to relax. Even if he had to start in on the paper as soon as he was done eating, he could enjoy a few moments of freedom. He wriggled his toes against Matt's thigh and the other man jerked. "That tickles!" he complained. "Oh, hush," Alex murmured. The meal passed in companionable silence and the occasional chuckle at the show. He didn't tickle Matt with his toes again but he appreciated the warm press of the other man's body against his. He wondered if it would be like this to live together; evenings spent in each other's company, passing the time with takeout and cuddling before homework. Kay had never wanted to move in. Alex hadn't thought of it, either, back then. That was something for people done with college. Maybe that attitude had led to the cheating. He sighed. This time, he wouldn't make those kinds of stupid mistakes. "What's the homework?" Matt asked, grabbing another slice from the box.

60 "Just a ten-page paper on a modernist short story, analysis involved. Nothing too hard, it's just due next Wednesday. I'm assuming it's a test of our mettle." "Not going to reuse an old paper?" he said. Alex gave him a scandalized look. "Never! They have ways of finding that out. Hell, part of my job is to find that shit out if a paper looks suspicious." "Just checking," Matt said. He grinned. "You have morals and standards. I like that." Alex rolled his eyes and picked his laptop back up. The solid presence of his lover sitting next to him while he opened up a fresh Word document and started copying down bibliographic information for the paper was startlingly sweet. After a moment he stopped typing, leaned over and planted a kiss on Matt's cheek. The professor blinked at him but his smile was obviously pleased. Alex felt as if his heart was expanding in his chest, pumped full of emotion that was starting to bear a resemblance to something he didn't want to name, yet. Not so soon. "I'm glad you're here," he finally said. "Me, too," Matt replied. He put an arm around Alex's shoulders and turned his attention back to the TV while he surfed the university's library via the online database. The comforting weight of it and the surrounding warmth of Matt's body made his eyes droop with sleepiness. He laid his head back into the crook of Matt's elbow and sighed. "So far it looks like you've only got a text and two articles," Matt murmured, jiggling his arm a little. "I'm thinking that's not as much as you wanted to get done tonight." "I'm so comfortable." "Come on now," Matt said with a little laugh. "I'll make you some coffee if you want, but I'm pretty sure you'd like to at least start the writing tonight, right?"

61 "Yeah," Alex agreed, stretching and blinking hard. "I'm just exhausted. Coffee would be great." "Well, I offered to make the coffee, but how about I watch you so I know where things are next time?" he said. "Oh, fine," Alex fake-griped. He put aside his laptop and led the other man into his kitchen. Matt leaned against one counter while he found the coffee beans in the cabinet and shook a healthy amount into his grinder. After running it, he dumped the grinds into the coffee maker and measured in the water. Matt padded over to him and wrapped his arms around his waist, fingers playfully rubbing at the curves of his hipbones. "It's sexy when you cook," he purred. "That was so not cooking," Alex said, rolling his eyes, but he didn't move away. "Then I can't wait to see you really working in your lovely kitchen." "I like it when you touch me," Alex said impulsively, putting his hands over Matt's to hold them to his belly. "Why did I make this three-date rule again?" "You want to see if I'm taking advantage of you," Matt said, and while he was trying to sound funny, Alex heard the faintest edge of something else. "Are you angry?" he said, turning in the other man's embrace to face him. His heart was suddenly pounding, and not in a good way. Guilt washed over him. "I didn't mean anything by it, I swear. I'm sorry. I'm a loser." "No," Matt said. He kissed his forehead gently. "You're scared. That's understandable. From what you've told me, you've had one serious relationship and it blew up. You haven't had anyone since. It's okay to be afraid of being hurt again."

62 "Technically, I hurt Kay," he corrected. "But his leaving hurt you, didn't it?" Matt said, bright blue eyes searching his. "I won't say it wasn't your fault, but you couldn't just feel nothing. You loved him." "Thank you," Alex sighed, laying his head on Matt's shoulder. After a moment, he pressed his lips to the other man's throat and murmured, "Would you like to come to bed with me?" "Which sort of come to bed?" Matt said, his voice husky. "The good kind," he replied, stroking his hands down the other man's sides. "I'm sorry I made this so hard. I don't want to wait another day to touch you again." "I told you, don't worry about it," Matt ran a hand over his hair in a gentle caress. "Trust me, though, I'm here because I want to have a relationship. I like you." "Me, too," Alex said. Matt pressed one hand to the back of his neck and the other slid around to pet his ass. He kept his mouth on the other man's throat, nibbling on the tender skin while Matt hugged him close. He pushed his hardening cock against the curve of his hip and felt an answering stiffness against his thigh. He hummed with pleasure against Matt's neck. "I think I'd like to make every inch of you mine tonight," the professor murmured, cupping and squeezing his butt. "Would you like that? Letting me have you any way I want you?" "Yes," Alex sighed, pulse speeding and desire unfurling in his body like a flower. "You can be rough with me if you want to." "Hmm," Matt said. "I'll think about that. I'm starting to notice you have a kinky side."

63 "I'm just a little more submissive than some," he replied, wriggling in the tight embrace. The slight friction against his dick was maddening; not enough to please, too much to ignore. Matt huffed against his ear, a hot puff of sound and air that sent a shiver down his spine. The hand on the back of his neck twisted in his hair and pulled hard. He yelped and let the professor draw his head back. The tingling pain in his scalp was deliciously perfect. It had been so long. He went lax in the embrace and let his body be shifted at will, staring with half-lidded eyes into Matt's bright, knowledgeable gaze. His breath came in a sudden rush like a gasp. "You like that," Matt said. He tugged sharply and Alex whimpered, pain and desire cracking down his spine like lightning. Now he was nearly panting from the simple pull of his hair. "What else do you like, I wonder?" The deepening of Matt's voice hinted of things to come, sharp ecstasy, aching pleasure. A thousand images flew threw his imagination at once; Matt spanking him with his bare hand, Matt pressing a hand carefully over his throat while jerking him off, Matt holding him by the hair just like this and forcing him to his knees. Alex groaned, clutching at the other man desperately. "Bedroom," Matt said, and without giving him a chance to recover began pulling him by his hair while strolling out of the kitchen. Alex stumbled after, panting, disoriented and painfully aroused. A little push had him sprawling onto his bed in a disheveled heap. "Matt," he gasped. "Tell me if you don't like what's happening," the professor said. "I'm not going to be offended. I'm just hot at finding out how dirty my pretty little assistant really is." Alex shuddered and took a deep breath. "I will," he said. "Then strip," Matt said.

64 Alex sat up and yanked his shirt off. He threw it into the corner and, with shaking hands, undid the laces on his shoes then the button on his pants. Matt made an appreciative noise as he shimmied out of his clothes. He looked up to find him staring down at him hungrily, inspecting every available inch of his body. After pushing the pants off the edge of the bed he rolled onto all fours and crawled to the edge. "I get the message," Matt murmured. He watched, mouth watering in anticipation while the professor undid his pants and drew his cock out. The head had turned a deep, plum red. He looked thicker than Alex remembered. While he contemplated this, trembling with desire, Matt stepped forward and wrapped a hand in his curly hair again. A little stinging pull brought his eyes up to meet the other man's. "Suck me," he said. "I fantasized about this," Alex whispered huskily, and before Matt could respond, he slid his mouth down as far as he could go. Without enough saliva worked up, it wasn't far enough for him. He slid back and swirled the flat of his tongue across the thick vein. When Matt pushed down gently he went, lips pressing against his teeth while inch after inch of velvety, musky cock filled his mouth and bumped his throat. Matt angled his head carefully with a tug to his hair and began to push. Alex swallowed and managed with that to take the rest until his lips brushed trimmed golden hair. His throat ached, his jaw was stretched wide, and his face was wet with spit. "That's perfect. God, you're good," Matt groaned, holding him still and impaled. Pleasure washed over the discomfort. Praise tickled his nerves as surely as any touch. He fought his gag reflex and held as still as he could, holding his breath, waiting. Matt wouldn't hurt him. Finally, after a strange and floating eternity, he began to pull out. As soon as his throat was

65 clear Alex heaved a breath and, unfortunately, saliva also. Matt stepped back and patted his back while he hacked and coughed, eyes watering. His arousal didn't flag, but humiliation burned his cheeks. "Sorry," Matt said, stroking his cheek when he began to breathe again. "Should have let you breathe sooner. Tap me if I'm hurting you." "You didn't hurt me," he croaked. "I breathed in liquid. Always bad, not your fault." "That's good, then," Matt murmured. Alex's eyes fell to his spit-slick cock again and his own throbbed in response. Would Matt give him more, or be careful and gentle? He raised his gaze slowly, letting Matt know exactly where he'd been looking. "More, please?" he asked. "You are so precious," Matt said. The words seemed out of place with his rampant arousal and husky voice. "Lie down on your stomach, legs over the edge of the bed. See if you can put your knees on the ground comfortably." Alex rolled over and wriggled backwards, dragging his dick against the sheets with a shock of pleasure. He was glad he had a low mattress. He could kneel on the ground and more or less be at level with the bed when he laid down on it. Matt's hands found his ass cheeks and palmed them. He shivered. Matt ran his thumbs down the crease, fingers rubbing little circles on the tender flesh. The first smack caught Alex unaware and he cried out, raking his nails down the sheets. The burn blossomed across his buttock. A second, just as sharp, landed a second later on the other side. He writhed, keening. Matt paused. "Okay?" he asked.

66 "Fucking yes!" Alex gasped, lifting his hips in invitation while the burning pleasure rolled up his spine like raindrops. Matt slapped his thigh next, then the other side in quick succession. Alex grunted, biting down on the covers and fisting his hands in them. Each smack pushed the pain a little higher and with it the pleasure. He rutted against the side of the bed while Matt spanked him thoroughly. His dick would be sore if he kept up rubbing against the sheets, but he couldn't stop himself; it felt so good, and the hot slap of Matt's palm on his ass was amazing. Cold oil poured across his burning ass suddenly, without warning, and he made a sound like a squeal, shuddering so hard it was nearly a spasm. While his body struggled to process all the sensations overwhelming it, two fingers pushed slick and easy inside him. He screamed into the bed to let out some of the tension while he wriggled back into the invasion. Matt didn't ask if he was okay this time. The oil made everything simple and unavoidable; even if Alex had wanted to resist, it left him no option to. A third finger slid in with a little bit of an ache but as soon as he gasped, they were gone. He heard plastic tear and, after an empty, striving moment, Matt's sheathed dick rubbed against him. "Yes!" he cried out, shoving himself back as Matt pushed forward. Another cry, nearly a howl, at the sudden depth and intensity of the fucking. Matt grabbed his hips and began to thrust. He could hardly hear the professor's guttural panting above his own cries as they spilled from his mouth. Every slam of Matt's hips against his sore butt hurt just like the spanking, burning and hooking into every nerve ending with visceral desire. He hurt, but it was perfect and sweet. He clawed the sheets again as Matt's hard shoves unerringly sent spasms of pleasure through his body. His orgasm rolled over him and left him wrung dry,

67 writhing and gasping under the other man's weight while he ground his cock against the wet sheets for more friction, forcing himself higher and higher until the pleasure became pain. "Jesus," Matt stuttered, nails raking down his back and sending him twitching again. Then they were still but for the panting. Alex heaved for breath, his hair sticky on his sweaty face, his whole body straining and aching. It stung when Matt pulled out and he groaned. He didn't move even when the professor wobbled out of the room. His footsteps sounded uneven. When he came back, Alex mumbled. "What?" he said quietly. "I can't move," he annunciated clearly. "Well, I'll clean you up as best I can," Matt murmured, his voice warm. A damp cloth started at his shoulders. It was warm and soft and tender. He groaned while the other man gently cleaned the sweat and oil and come from his back, ass, and thighs. He managed to crawl up onto the bed with shaking legs and collapse into it. "Your sheets are a mess," Matt said, climbing in next to him. Alex pried his eyes open, looking up at his lover. This cemented things, somehow. This animal, pure fucking made their relationship more real. He had trusted Matt enough to let him do this and he had loved it. He loved the dinner, he loved the companionship, he loved the sex. He didn't say it out loud, but as he cuddled close to the other man in a moment of vulnerable need, the words seemed to press against his lips.

68

Chapter Four "Work is going to suck," Alex mumbled around his toothbrush to Matt, who stood lounging in the doorway to the bathroom. "I hurt all over." "Poor baby," Matt said, grinning. "I seem to recall you begging me to keep going, though. I must be remembering wrong." "Oh, hush," he replied. "I enjoyed it. Doesn't mean I'm not sore now." "Want me to massage your sore bottom?" Matt leered. "I'll never make it to work," he said and rinsed his mouth out. "I do need to get some work done for Tuesday's class," he said. "But maybe I can bring you something to eat on your break. Or is it too soon for visiting at work?" "Hell, I don't know," Alex said. He planted a quick, soft kiss on Matt's cheek. "I feel all warm at the thought, so I guess that means it's just the right time to start visiting me at work." Matt, clad only in his rumpled pants from the night before, followed him to his bedroom. He slid out of his robe and the other man made a short, harsh sound. Before he could turn to ask, warm hands settled on his shoulders and slid down his back, following the scratches that still stung from the night before. He arched, hissing. "I didn't notice this," Matt said. He pressed his mouth to the back of Alex's neck. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't think I'd scratched you so hard." Alex fought a giggle and lost. Matt frowned against his skin. He reached his arms back to clumsily hug the other man against his back. His ass was tender, almost bruised, and the coarse rub of fabric against it hurt. "I like the ache," he whispered. "I like remembering all day how your hands felt on me."

69 "Oh," Matt said, half-groaning. "I just won't be able to sit down on the counter today, that's all," he said. "Don't feel guilty or anything like that. I mean, I wouldn't want to do this every night, but it was amazing." "It was that," Matt said. "Now go on and get dressed before I can't stop myself from taking you back to bed." "You're the one holding onto me," Alex said with a laugh and stepped away. He hadn't lied about being sore. Pulling on his clothes was a slow process; every muscle felt overextended and stiff. Even though the scratches on his back were thin and tiny, his shirt still caught on them and stung. When he finished, Matt reached into his closet and grabbed a shirt. "Mind if I borrow this to wear home?" he said. "Of course not," Alex replied. As the professor slipped into his shirt, he found with a little burst of pleasure that he truly enjoyed seeing the other man wearing his clothes. While the scratches were one mark of ownership, of belonging, Matt wore something of his to make his own claim. He liked that. "Slice of cold pizza before we go?" Alex suggested. "I'm starving," Matt said. Alex stepped into his shoes first and laced them up. The professor carried his boots to the kitchen with him and dropped them casually on the floor with a thud. He looked at home in the apartment, with his slightly mismatched outfit and golden hair straggling out of a halfhearted ponytail, padding in his stocking feet to the fridge. Alex hid a smile and got sodas out of the cabinet while Matt fixed them each a paper plate with a slice of pizza on it. "So, when's your dinner break?" the professor asked.

70 "Usually about six," Alex said. "I'll call you if it's going to be different." "Okay," Matt said. "Anything in particular you want me to pick up?" "Maybe Chinese," he said. "What kind of Chinese? Americanized or authentic?" Alex chuckled. "Actually, how about we go across the parking lot from my store and have sub sandwiches? Really good place. You do know where the bookstore is, right?" "Yes," Matt said. "First place I found when I came in town. I didn't know you worked there." "Like I said, only on the weekends." Alex shrugged. "The extra money helps, and I love the discount I get. I spend too much on books as it is." Matt nudged him. "Think you can cut me in on that deal?" "If you give me money and a list, sure," Alex said. "Dating you keeps getting better every day," he said. Alex rolled his eyes and threw away his paper plate, but he was genuinely happy to hear Matt say so. He agreed wholeheartedly. Every day he spent with Matt seemed better than the last. If they could make it through the next three months without getting caught and subsequently fired, a thought which made him shudder, they'd be in the clear. He couldn't afford to lose the TA position. There weren't enough hours for all the employees at the bookstore to go around as it was. **** Alex brushed a wisp of hair back from his forehead and looked up as the door dinged. His smile fell as he locked eyes with Kay, who walked straight up to the counter. He leaned against

71 the back counter, as far away as he could get. The other man frowned at him. Anna looked up from the computer she was typing a stock request into and her mouth quirked downward as well. "May we help you?" she said icily. She still remembered the remarkable scenes Kay had started the first year after the breakup. "I'd like to talk to you," he said to Alex, ignoring her entirely. "What about?" he replied, not even trying to hide the weariness in his voice. "Professor Klein," Kay said. "Can we talk privately?" "You're going to pretend I'm not here anyway," Anna broke in. She glowered at him. "You realize you aren't welcome in my store, Mr. Andrews?" "Outside," Alex said before Kay could open his mouth. It was nearly six. He could only hope Matt didn't show up with some sort of romantic gift or kiss him before could get rid of him. That would be astoundingly bad. Of all the times for his ex to seek him out, why did it have to be right before he met with his new lover? He followed Kay out the door and stood by it, refusing to get further away from a viable escape. "I know you don't like me," Kay said, for once looking at the ground instead of directing his ferocious stare at Alex. "But could you please not actively make me look like a jackass in front of the professor?" Alex gaped at him for a long moment. "Really, that bit Thursday was just unnecessary," Kay continued. "You have got to be kidding me," Alex cut in. "You think I'm making you look bad? You're making you look like a psychopath! It's been three years, for God's sake. It is absolutely not normal to turn into a raging lunatic whenever you realize you're in the same room as me. It shouldn't affect you at all by this point!"

72 Kay made a sound that sounded a little like a laugh. He looked up and stepped forward into Alex's space. He backed up onto the first step of the little flight up to the bookstore's door. Maybe that had been the wrong angle to take. "So you're saying that if I could just forget what you did to me, Professor Klein would like me more?" His voice was positively menacing. "Fuck it," Alex sighed. "Yes, Kay. The moment you walked in, you glared at me for the entire class. You hiss and heckle and bitch about me when I clearly just want to be free of you. Your first words to the professor were to ask that I not grade your work because we dated three goddamned years ago." "Fuck you," Kay snapped. "What have you told him about me?" "Oh, God, why?" Alex said. "Kay. Listen to me. I haven't told him anything other than the truth. I cheated on you. I ruined our relationship. It's okay that you hate me. You're the one who accosted me after class last Thursday to scream at me, remember? I'd like to just leave each other alone, maybe even pretend each other doesn't exist." Kay shook himself like he was flinging off an unpleasant weight. He straightened his back and flipped his middle finger at Alex, who rolled his eyes. As luck would have it, Matt bounded up onto the sidewalk at just that moment. Kay forced a smile onto his face, but it was shallow and brittle. Alex almost felt bad, but Kay seemed to have descended into some different world, an ugly one where Alex didn't want to even imagine living. Paranoid was a gentle word for his behavior. Matt glanced between them. "Making up your differences?" he said. "Nothing at all," Kay said. "Just happened by and thought I'd ask him a question about class."

73 "Sure," Alex said. "So, what are you doing here?" Kay asked the professor. Matt put on his best professional smile. "He's going on his break here soon and I needed to talk about some of Tuesday's material with him. Having two jobs means doubling up some days. Plus I want some books." "Ah," Kay said. "I'll see you later." He turned on his heel. Alex didn't let out the breath he was holding until Kay was well away. Matt raised his eyebrows in question and Alex waved his hand. "Talk about it over dinner," he said. "Let me tell Anna I'm taking my break." He ducked his head into the shop and she looked over from the counter. Her short brown hair caught the sun and reflected blond highlights. She smiled at him. "Dinner time," he said. "Is the weasel gone?" she asked. "Yeah, thank God," he replied and eased back out the door before she could ask what the trouble had been about. "You seem tense," Matt said as they walked across the street to the sub shop. Alex took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. The clerk waved at Alex as they came into the store and he waved back. It was the most convenient food stop for the bookstore but it was also delicious, so he didn't mind being a regular customer. Matt stood back to look at the menu while Alex went up to the counter. "The usual?" the clerk said. "Yeah," he said. "Plus fries and a soda today."

74 "You know water is much better for you," he replied offhand and rang up the order. "But it's also okay to splurge once in a while." "Yeah, I know," he said with a grin. "I'm hoping my date is catching the tab tonight." "Oh!" the clerk said, glancing at Matt, who was still inspecting the huge menu on the wall. "Good date." "I agree," Alex said. After placing their orders, they took a seat in one of the booths. Matt flipped his ponytail back over his shoulder in a spill of gold. The cerulean shirt he was wearing did wonders with his blue eyes and still-tan skin. Alex had trouble deciding where to look. He wondered briefly what Matt saw in him when he could just look in the mirror and see a Greek god. "So what was that fuss about?" Matt asked. "You're gorgeous," Alex said, unable to contain it. "Have I said that yet today?" "No," Matt said, grinning. "Well, there it is. But Kay actually made a trip to the store to order me to stop telling you bad things about him. He's utterly convinced he hasn't acted weird or wrong or anything, and it's all my fault, just like world hunger and pollution." "Is it just me, or does he seem to be completely nuts?" he asked. "I'm starting to wonder," Alex muttered. "So he thinks I'm attractive, and wants to be available. But he thinks you're telling me all sorts of lies about him so I won't like him?" "Yeah, pretty much."

75 Matt sat back in his seat and whistled. Alex nodded his agreement. Maybe their biggest problem with Kay wasn't going to be him finding out about their relationship but just dealing with him on a day-to-day basis. "I could have him removed from my class," Matt suggested. "He has sort of behaved like a fucking lunatic." "I think he might go ballistic on me if you do that," Alex sighed. The clerk brought over their sandwiches and winked at Alex, which made him grin a little despite the stress. For a long moment they were silent, contemplating the problem while enjoying their meals. Alex had no idea what to do beyond trying to ignore Kay as much as possible, and not giving in to the urge to argue with him. So far he hadn't done very well with that, but if he tried he could probably avoid confrontation. "Let's just wait," he finally said. "If he gets worse we can think about kicking him out." "Okay," Matt said. "You're the one who has to deal with him." "God, don't I know it," Alex said. "Do you get an hour or a half?" he asked. "Half," he replied. "So eat quick." "Oh, and by the way, I have a surprise for you tonight. Come to my place after work?" Matt batted his eyelashes, which looked more ridiculous than anything. "You can spend the night if you like." Alex snorted. "I'm all a-flutter," he said. "You should be," Matt purred. A shiver of desire slid down his spine. "I'm going to spoil you tonight. I think you should be rewarded for putting up with crazy people." "I look forward to it," he said honestly.

76 Matt blinked once, and Alex saw the idea cross his face before he asked. "Did you ever do things like last night with Kay?" "Yeah," he sighed. "He was the first person to introduce me to a lot of new things. Expanded my horizons, I guess. He wasn't always like he is now. Something's just wrong with him." "Hmm," Matt said, almost a growl. "I think I'm a little jealous." Alex leaned forward to whisper, "But you're the one who marked my back and spanked my ass raw. You're the one who I'm coming home to tonight." "True," Matt said. Alex sat back with a satisfied smile, rubbing his back against the booth. He arched so Matt could see and know what he was doing, aggravating the scratches so they stung. He groaned. It could have been a sound any person would make when stretching, but Matt's eyes widened a little and then narrowed with desire. "Let's walk back to the store," Alex murmured. Matt walked so closely behind him to put their trays on the top of the trash cans that he felt his body heat up, imagined he could feel the brush of his skin. The first touch of his fingers as they linked hands sent a raw burst of lust across Alex's nerves. He hustled across the street and led Matt past the desk. Anna smirked at him as they disappeared into the shelves. Alex's breath caught as Matt spun him by his shoulder and pushed him against a shelf in an empty aisle. He let it out in a sigh, surrounded by Matt's warmth as he caged him in with arms on either side of his body. The professor met his gaze and leaned in, taunting him with the faintest brush of lips. Alex strained forward in the embrace but Matt leaned back. His chuckle was husky with passion.

77 "Kiss me so I can go back to work," Alex whispered. "I'll do more tonight," Matt said. The kiss was sudden and full of liquid heat. Alex surged up against Matt as their tongues brushed, wet and slick. A sharp nip to his lower lip made him gasp. Matt pulled away. "Time to get back to work," he said, a little breathless despite his unruffled demeanor. "Oh, hell," Alex sighed. They straightened themselves and Matt walked him back to the counter with courtly dignity. Anna said nothing about his kiss-reddened mouth or tousled hair, but she didn't have to. Her grin broadcast it all. **** It was nearly ten by the time Alex knocked on Matt's door, a small backpack dangling from his free hand. He'd dropped by his apartment to pick up a change of clothes for the next day. He had a feeling he wasn't going to be up to driving himself home after Matt's surprise. The door opened a moment later. The professor had changed, too, into a pair of silky blue pajama pants and nothing else. They left little to the imagination. Alex found himself staring at the prettily outlined bulge of his cock. "Eyes up," Matt said, laughing. Alex cleared his throat and met the other man's gaze. Matt stepped aside and he walked into the apartment. He tossed his bag on the couch and turned, hands on his hips, to look over the fine picture Matt painted one more time. Gold hair tied back, blue eyes, tan and toned chest leading down to the faintest trail of hair, then those pants that revealed almost more than they hid. "I am a lucky man," he murmured.

78 "You haven't even gotten your surprise yet," Matt replied. "Come upstairs with me." Alex followed him, fighting every urge to grope the wonderful ass preceding him up the steps. The silk pants didn't help on that score, either, the way they clung and slid just like his hands ached to. The bedroom door was shut, and Matt grabbed his hand when he reached to open it. He raised an eyebrow. "Trust me," Matt said. He picked up a scrap of cloth that had been hanging on the doorknob and draped it gently over Alex's eyes. His breath caught but he didn't protest. Matt tied a knot carefully, so as not to catch any of his hair, and kissed his cheek. His heart beat faster as he stood motionless and blind. He heard the door creak open, then a warm hand on his back guided him forward. He held his hands clenched at his sides to keep from reaching out to feel his way along. Matt wouldn't let him hurt himself. All the same, a nervousness that wasn't entirely unpleasant tempered his movements, building his arousal at the same time as his helplessness. His knees bumped the edge of the bed. Matt guided him to turn so his back was to it. Warm breath caressed his lips a moment before the soft brush of Matt's mouth against his own. He leaned into the kiss, deepening it, and the first delicate slide of tongue against his lips made him shiver. Every sensation was magnified by his blindness. Hands pushed his shirt up and he lifted his arms so Matt could remove it. Fingertips circled his nipples with ticklish pleasure, then drifted lower. He bit his lip against a groan as the other man unzipped his pants, knuckles brushing the length of his erection. Matt stripped him of his pants and shoes quickly, but lingered over his underwear. Those warm hands slid down his hips and then breath puffed against his still-restrained cock. He groaned as Matt mouthed him through his boxers, dampening the thin

79 cotton until it stuck to his skin like a wet kiss. Pleasure—though not enough—danced over his body. "Please," he begged, hands still fisted at his sides. "I like it when you beg," Matt murmured. A moment later he slid the underwear off and his lips brushed the base of Alex's cock, tongue flickering out to lap at his balls. Alex shuddered, hips arching forward without his consent, trying to get more. Matt's hand circled his dick and pumped gently while he kept laving at the tender skin with his tongue. Alex moaned, loud and desperate, rocking on his feet to increase the pressure and stroking. "Lie down," Matt said, releasing him. Alex panted for a moment, disoriented without the other man's touch to anchor him, then collapsed back onto the bed. The sheets were silky smooth on his still-sore back and he writhed, gasping at the simple pleasure. Matt growled in response. A hand on his ankle and one on his hip guided him to lie in a certain way; he assumed he was lying in the traditional pose. Matt shifted up over him, knees on either side of his stomach, and lifted one of his wrists. Soft leather encased it and he stiffened, pulse pounding. Matt buckled the cuff and let him pull against it. There was no give, but it was padded and wouldn't hurt him if he struggled. He took a shallow breath and let it out before holding up his other hand in offering. Matt shackled it as well, leaving him spread comfortably but even more helpless than before. He couldn't control his frantic breathing, but he wasn't afraid, only excited and anticipating what was to come. Matt shimmied down his body again. For a split mind-blowing moment their cocks brushed together; then he was kneeling at Alex's feet. The sound of a bottle opening made him shudder. Was Matt going to fuck him like this, bound, blinded, and wanting? The lust that flared

80 in him was almost startling in its intensity, but yes, he wanted it. Slick fingers pressed behind his balls and slid a bit lower until they breached him, two at first. He gasped and tossed his head against the pillows while Matt pushed deeper, deeper, until the knuckles of his hand pressed against Matt's ass. He held his hand still, to Alex's torment, until he began to shift his hips, searching for some movement or friction. "You'll like this," Matt murmured. He scissored his fingers once, as if making sure Alex wasn't still too tight, and then carefully slid them out. Alex spread his legs wider, waiting, and cried out with surprise when something cool and slick pushed against him instead of the hot, hard dick he'd been expecting. Matt's laugh was like a purr, all warm and husky. One of his hands settled on Alex's hip, holding him still. Another gentle push and the smooth object slid inside him. He groaned, shuddering. The shape was the same; he felt first the flared head and then soft ridges. Matt kept pushing, so gently, slowly, until fake but silken balls pressed against his own. He panted for air, lost in the sensation of being so full. Matt flexed his wrist and pushed a little deeper, grinding the toy against him, making him cry out again. "Good?" Matt said. "Fuck," Alex managed to gasp. "It's one of those lovely new 'ultra realistic' dildos," he continued. "Feels almost real, doesn't it?" Alex couldn't answer, because Matt chose that moment to draw it out and thrust back in. His muscles spasmed and he arched his back, gritting his teeth against the pleasure. It did feel real; not too hard or soft, just enough give in all the right places. Matt held it still but Alex heard

81 him make a few quiet, short noises. He opened his mouth to ask what was next when the professor shifted and crawled back over him. Knees pressed against his sides. "Oh," he managed, before Matt rolled a condom onto him. One hand braced itself on his thigh; the other thrust the toy again, sending a sharp spark of pleasure through him. He could only whimper when Matt began to wriggle against his dick, trying to get him positioned. He slid against the other man's ass. "Damn," Matt gasped. He let go of the toy briefly to grasp the base of Alex's cock and hold him still. Alex moaned as soft, clenching heat slid down over him, inch by inch. Matt let out a sound like a shout, his legs trembling where they were pressed to Alex's sides. He reached behind himself again and began to thrust the toy in short strokes as he lifted his body, then dropped back down, impaling himself on Alex's dick. Alex couldn't scream, but he wanted to. He couldn't get enough air between panting gasps and moans. The toy fucking him, Matt riding him; there was nowhere he could focus that wasn't pleasure, all pleasure. He struggled against the restraints until the bed frame rattled. "Oh, yes," Matt cried out, grinding down hard. "Going to come." Alex pumped his hips as much as he could between the dual sensations, letting them pull him higher and higher until his climax crested and shattered him. He did manage to yell, shuddering and coming hard into the other man. Matt let go of the toy and, Alex guessed, stroked himself. A moment later, following a short cry, hot come spattered his chest and stomach. Matt trembled above him and with obviously shaking hands undid his cuffs. He slipped the blindfold off and stared into Matt's tired, sated, and happy eyes. "Damn," he managed.

82 Matt winked and tugged gently on the base of the toy. He yelped, and not with pain, as the other man slowly drew it free of his body and sat it on the end table. He stripped off the condom and dropped it into the trashcan by the bed. "I think we need a shower," he rasped, throat a little sorer than he'd anticipated. "When I can walk," Matt replied. He snuggled closer and laid his head on Alex's shoulder. "Don't want to let go just yet." "Yeah," Alex said warmly, wrapping an arm around him. "Me neither." Matt hummed and trailed his fingers down Alex's side, to the curve of his hip, and back up. It almost tickled, but not quite. Alex squirmed. His lover chuckled and kissed his shoulder while they basked in the afterglow. The room was hot and smelled of sex. The silky sheets clung to Alex's lugs, damp with sweat and other things. "Think I'm ready for that shower now," he said. "If you'll wash my back, at least." "Only if you get mine," Matt replied. Alex pried himself into a sitting position and gingerly stepped off the bed. He eyed the dildo on the end table and picked it up. Matt laughed. "What? It needs to be washed, too," Alex said, blushing. There was just something oddly embarrassing about walking around with a sex toy in hand when the main event was over. He padded nude to the bathroom and started the shower. Matt walked in a moment later with towels and a rag in hand. He nudged the door shut with his hip and grinned at the sight of Alex washing the dildo in the sink. "You're being childish," Alex scolded him, hiding his own smile. "It's just amusing," Matt said.

83 Alex sat it on a hand towel to dry and tested the shower water with his hand. It was warm, so he stepped in with a pleased sigh. All the sex was having a negative toll on his lower back. His legs were also sore. Hot water felt like heaven on the aching muscles. Matt climbed in behind him and pressed up against his back in a slippery slide of flesh. Hands smoothed down his chest, helping the shower to wash away the evidence of their activities. "I have class early Monday," he said. "So tomorrow night I'll probably go home and sleep after work. We can still have dinner together again, though, if you like." "Sure," Matt said. He squeezed his arms tight in a little hug. "I can't have you sleep deprived and failing your classes just because I want to have you with me at all times." Alex smiled, though Matt couldn't see it. "I'm glad I met you," he said after a moment. "God, me too," Matt replied. "This has been the best couple of weeks of my life, I think." "Good," Alex said. He ran his thumb over the back of Matt's hand. "I'd agree with that, too. This is wonderful." Matt hummed against the back of his neck in agreement, then let go of him to grab the rag from the soap shelf. He lathered it and Alex sighed at the first touch of the soapy cloth to his back. As Matt washed him, Alex couldn't think of any other place he'd rather be.

84

Chapter Five Monday morning came too early. Alex rolled over to turn off his alarm and encountered no warm body between him and his nightstand. He sighed and collapsed back onto his stomach. The late nights with Matt were wonderful but he had missed out on his usual catch-up sleep over the weekend. One night just wasn't enough. When his eyes began to drift shut again he hauled himself up, painfully aware that missing class within the first two weeks was never a good idea, especially not for a graduate student. There was always someone better competing for the same jobs and positions; the only way to stay on top was to be tenacious. Tenacious people didn't need sleep. He made it to the bathroom on shuffling feet and eyed himself in the mirror. Dark circles were starting to form under his eyes, but otherwise he looked much better then he felt, aside from the wild tangle of curls nesting on top of his head. He grumbled and turned on the shower. A quick brushing wasn't going to fix that monstrosity. The warm water only made him sleepier, but he composed a list of things to do while he shampooed his hair. Write the paper for Wednesday, do thirty pages of reading for the other class and be prepared for discussion, take Matt to a nice dinner somewhere new, kiss him as soon as possible, maybe spend the night again—he stopped himself, half-smiling. He only had three classes to take; two on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, one on Tuesday and Thursday, then Matt's class. He still hadn't gotten any work to do for the professor yet, but the class was just starting and hadn't actually had any gradable assignments.

85 If he parceled his time out and Matt didn't mind watching TV while he did homework, there would be no reason not to see each other most of the week. Maybe tone down the athleticism of the sex if it was going to happen every day. Then again, why not enjoy youth? Alex grinned and turned off the shower. In truth, he was looking forward to the point in dating when the sex did tone down in frequency but increased in depth and perfection. There were always a few weeks of learning each other before it could get really, really good. That came with time. Plus, the increase in cuddling was a bonus. His phone rang; a distant, faint noise from the other room. He cursed and sprinted naked and dripping to his bedroom. Matt's name flashed on the ID. He flipped it open and held it a little bit away from his wet hair. "Morning. Why are you up so early?" "I was going to go jogging," Matt said. "But I checked my e-mail, and I'm kind of weirded out. Your Kay e-mailed me to apologize again and it's almost disturbingly nice, until we get to the part where he says you're a bastard and attached a photo of the two of you." "Oh, dear God," Alex sighed. He was almost past caring what Kay did at this point so long as it didn't alienate Matt. "How bad is it?" "By that tone of voice, I'm assuming there are nudes somewhere, but it's actually just a picture of you two screaming at each other. It looks very vehement." Matt sighed on the other line. "I think I should remove him. This is getting uncomfortably weird." "Like I said, he didn't used to be this crazy." Alex sat down on the edge of the bed. The sheets needed to be washed anyway. "I'm sorry I brought this into your life by accident." "Somehow I think he would have fixated on me one way or anther," Matt grumbled. "Now I'm going to spend my whole jog thinking about crazy-boy stalking me."

86 "I don't think he's that bad yet," he said, aiming for a comforting tone. "Well, that's reassuring," Matt replied. "I really am sorry." "And it's really not your fault," he said. "These things happen. I had a relationship that went south when I was down South that convinced me to move. It's not your fault." "You'll have to tell me about that sometime," Alex said. He was starting to shiver. "I'm getting kind of cold, though. I had to hop out of the shower for the phone." "All wet and naked, huh?" Matt said, but he didn't sound as lascivious as usual. "Yup," Alex replied, playing along. "Think we can get dinner tonight? I have some reading to do, but we can still spend some time together if you want." "Sure," Matt said, and this time his voice did warm some. "My place or yours?" "Mine? In case I need to grab some notes or an old book or something. Might work on the paper, too." "You're so studious," he said. "I like it." "I didn't get this far on lazy," Alex quipped. "I'll see you tonight," he said. He lingered for a moment on something unspoken. "Goodbye." "Bye," Alex said. His heart throbbed a little as he looked down at his phone. Had Matt just hesitated over those little words that seemed to sneak up on him anytime he thought about the other man? Alex smiled. That was certainly something to brighten up an otherwise alarming conversation. After another moment's fond thinking, he tossed the phone on the bed and went to find a towel. Time, tide, and college waited for no man.

87 **** Alex's mind was firmly on the problem of Kay throughout his classes; the lectures barely registered and his discussion of his reading was halfhearted at best. When the second class finally ended he breathed a sigh of relief and stuffed his books into his bag. There was still the paper to work on, and now more reading for each class. He forgot in between semesters how heavy the workload got and how fast. He didn't want to put off dinner with Matt; he also didn't want to put off a night of sleeping curled up together. If he could just manage to actually do his homework when faced with the golden beauty of his lover, things would be better. As long as Matt agreed not to tease him, he could probably get enough done to justify a little romp before bed. He grinned a little to himself as he drove home to get a jump on the homework before their dinner. There was no way either of them would be willing to give up the sex, but tonight it would be a reward for studying. The thought of Matt actually topping him enough to make that a rule—he could just imagine that sultry Southern drawl, "Be a good pet and do your work. If you're good, I'll give you a treat"—sent a violent shiver down his spine and a burst of warmth through his belly. Matt didn't seem like a dominant, though. A top, yes, but not with a capital T. Of course, Alex didn't really know how he'd feel about that kind of play. He'd read about it, devoured erotica on the subject and fantasized often, but no one had ever been able to make him tremble with words. Not until Professor Matthew Klein. Maybe it would be worth dropping the hint, just to see what he would say. He did seem to like taking control in the bedroom. What about outside it? He walked up to his apartment in a sensual daze, dropped his book bag on the couch and flopped down next to it. He had two hours before Matt would be done teaching his other class

88 and ready to eat. There was homework, or there was fantasy. He palmed his stiffening cock through his pants and sighed. How did he ask Matt if he was a dominant, or if he even knew what that meant? How could he know that was what he wanted when he'd never had it before? Alex frowned and dropped his head back to rest on the couch. He was independent. He paid his way through school and life, he took care of himself well, he got excellent grades without anyone to boss him around. How could he be a submissive at heart and still be so in control? He didn't want to give Matt the keys to his finances or anything like that. He didn't want his whole life to be micromanaged as if he were too incompetent to run it himself. But he did want to be told what to do sometimes, and he wanted Matt to make the order stick with punishment if he had to. Alex wanted to be taken care of in every imaginable way, more than anything else. Kay hadn't really taken care of him. Kay had let him spiral into alcoholism and nearly ruin his school career. It was only luck that he managed a medical leave to erase that semester from his record, and he retook some other classes he'd thrown out the window through pure laziness. For the first time he wondered if Kay was at least a little to blame in his indiscretion with the fraternity brother. His phone rang and he jumped. "Yes?" he said. "It's Matt," the other man replied. "The room my class is supposed to be in got reserved for a conference nobody told me about. Apparently I should have canceled it, you know, the third day of class." His voice was tight with displeasure, a tone Alex hadn't heard from him before. "Would you like to do something?" he asked.

89 "Let me go home and calm down. I had to let my students go and some of them were a little miffed to wait for the class, but they knew it wasn't my fault." He took a breath and let it out on the other end. The sound came across static. "So get some of that homework done I know you've got. I still want dinner." "Okay," Alex said, inordinately pleasured with the command that, no doubt, Matt thought nothing of. "I'll talk to you before dinner?" "Yup," Matt said. "Talk to you then." He hung up and Alex sighed. His love life was finally normal and functional, and here he was daydreaming about turning it into something different and potentially scaring away his lover. Matt probably wasn't the type, anyway. He hadn't shown any inclination aside from a little pushiness. But then again, Alex wondered, how would he know what a real dom was like? He'd never had one, never met one—that he knew of. "Maybe I could just say, tell me what to do," he said out loud to his empty apartment. He wished it would answer him, maybe with, "Seems like a good shot." After another moment's pondering he pulled a book out of his bag, checked the page numbers on his little pocket calendar for assignments, and started reading. He had just finished the section, a rather hefty fifty pages, when the phone rang again. "Hello?" he grumbled. His eyes were sore. "Ready for dinner?" Matt said, sounding considerably more chipper. "Oh, hell," he said. "Time already? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention." "Don't worry, we don't have a reservation anywhere. Five minutes won't matter." He could imagine the professor's smile. "Now, I can pick up some Chinese if you want and just eat with you there so you can get work done."

90 "I'd like that," he said warmly. "I like it when you sit with me while I work." "And I get to watch television with a warm, cuddly man next to me." "I think I'm a little too bony to be called that," he said, smiling. "No, no. Have you seen your butt? It's luscious, my dear." Alex laughed, and so did Matt. "I'll be there in thirty. How's that takeout place next to your apartment? Good food?" "Oh, yes," Alex said with enthusiasm. "Get me the garlic chicken plate, please." "Sure thing," Matt said. "See you soon. Bye." Again, he hesitated a little. "Thanks. Goodbye." Alex tucked his phone back in his pocket, checked off the section he'd read and moved on to the next item. There was no better way to time travel than reading, especially something a bit dull. His afternoon was melting into evening. Soon Matt would arrive bearing food, and snuggle up with him so he could get his work done. There were certainly advantages to dating a professor; they understood the stress. He was nearly finished with the second reading when Matt knocked on his door. He marked the page and let the other man inside. The big paper bag he was carrying smelled of spices and a little sweetness. "Wow," Alex said. "I just noticed I'm absolutely starving." "Well, get us drinks and I'll set this stuff out on the coffee table." Matt smiled, leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Done with your homework yet?" "Unfortunately, no, but I'm only a few pages away from finishing the second reading, so I'll do that after we eat," he said as he walked into the kitchen and snagged them both drinks and forks.

91 Alex walked back into the living room and flopped down on the couch next to his lover. Matt, true to his word, had spread out their feast. He'd even bought an order of crab rangoon. Alex nearly purred with happiness. A whole order was just too much for one person and it didn't reheat well, so he rarely ordered it himself. "So, how's your day been?" Alex said after a few bites. "Other than the weird fucking e-mail, pretty good," Matt replied. "I like the class I teach tomorrow best, maybe because you're in it, but the lower-grade classes are still fun. Just for different reasons. There's a boy in one who's obviously a writer. You should see the way his papers flow on the first draft, but the language is way too pretty for nonfiction." "I know that kind," he said. "Is he the arrogant type?" "Nope, hasn't even mentioned that he's a writer. He was very pleased with the grade he got on the first assignment. I only made them do a three- to five-pager that they got to start on the first day. Not too cruel." Matt grinned. "Unlike your professor." Alex chuckled. Their shoulders and elbows bumped occasionally while they ate, but it made him feel rather cuddly and affectionate, not annoyed. Should he bring up the dominant thing? He glanced over at Matt while he crammed an entire crab rangoon into his mouth at once. "How classy," he remarked. Matt had to chew for a long minute before he could respond, "I don't like to lose any filling when I break them in half." "I never seem to have a problem," Alex said, grinning. Maybe it would be better to just leave books out, hints lying around, things like that. Much better than ambushing Matt over dinner with, "Would you like to be my dom, pretty please?" After all, he was hardly sure if he'd really like it or not. A trial run would be best.

92 Suggesting that was going to be even harder. He slumped a little. Maybe it would be best to just let it lie as a fantasy and nothing more. "Something wrong?" Matt asked, knocking their knees together gently. "Nothing," Alex said, feeling his face heat. "You didn't make the thinking-sex-things face, but now you're blushing, so it must have been," he said. "But first you need to do that homework, am I right?" "Yes, sir," Alex murmured, barely fighting off an unhelpful little shiver. "Ooh, you know I like that," Matt said. "Yeah," he replied. Matt nudged him again and, once he looked over, winked. Alex shook his head in amusement and went back to eating his dinner before it got cold. Matt did seem to be joking, but maybe it was only half a joke. If he was lucky, and brave enough to bring it up, Matt would like to be called "sir" for real sometime. "Can I borrow your laptop while you read?" Matt said. "Or will that bother you?" He thought about it for a moment. Other people's hands on his baby didn't make him comfortable, but Matt wasn't just any other person. He found it didn't bother him as much as he'd anticipated. "Okay," he said. "Just ignore any pornography you may encounter." "Ignore, hell. I'll have to look." But his smile said otherwise, that he wouldn't invade Alex's privacy. Alex smiled back and picked up his textbook, along with his drink, which he had entirely forgotten in his rush to devour the entire dinner. He was quite thirsty. One paragraph in, Matt's startled curse made him flinch and he looked up.

93 "What is it?" he said. Matt turned the screen to face him. The university e-mail program was open, and on the screen was a rather lewd photo of Alex, shirtless, tugging a pair of boxers down low enough to give a hint of cock. He was lying in a bed—not his own—with the sheets tucked barely over his feet. He was smiling. "Oh, Jesus Christ," he moaned and dropped his head into his hands. "You did seem relieved it wasn't a nude picture last time," Matt said uneasily. "How many of these does he have?" "Enough," Alex grit the word through his teeth. Now he wasn't feeling quite so warm and content. He was angry, so angry that it burned in his blood like fire. "What does the e-mail say?" "’Look at what sort of person he is,’" Matt intoned. "This is too fucking much. I'm not exactly going to forward this to the Dean, but I'll have a meeting with him tomorrow. What the hell? You cheated on him a long time ago. He really should not still be this fixated on ruining your life." "But all he'll see is that I'm ruining his, just like I always do," he replied, nearly sighing. "I hope this doesn't sound like an asshole thing to say, but it really could be worse. You're not naked or anything." Matt raised his eyebrows. "Why, you could argue this was an underwear ad." "Oh, yeah," Alex said, but he was smiling. "Those ratty old boxers need advertising." "I like you in your boxers," he said. "Well." He took a deep breath and let it out, though the rage was still simmering. "Let it go for tonight. We can't do anything until the morning anyway."

94 "Right-o," Matt said. He closed his e-mail and put aside the laptop. "Once you finish that reading, I think you deserve a massage for being so patient and not having a heart attack." "I might have," he said dryly. "If I feel any tingling in my limbs soon, I'll let you know." Alex stared down at the book blindly for a long minute and realized that although he had read a page, he had no idea what words had been on it. He sighed and put a hand over his eyes. Matt put an arm around his shoulders and hugged gently. Alex was still too angry. When he looked at the page, all he saw was red; all he could think about was Kay going one step too far, just like always. "How about that massage?" the other man offered in a soft voice, as if he could sense the turmoil raging beneath Alex's moderately calm exterior. "That would be wonderful," he murmured back and lifted his head to look Matt in the eye while he smiled. He wasn't angry with his lover, not at all. "I'm glad you still want to be here after dealing with this crap." "I'm really just in the middle," Matt said. He offered him a hand up and Alex took it, following the other man to the bedroom. "He may be sending the e-mails to me, but they're very much between you and about you." "I'm doubly glad you get that it's not in any way your fault," Alex sighed. "Take your clothes off," Matt replied with a wink. Alex fought a grin and failed. The other man smirked back and watched with avid interest while he stripped out of his clothes quickly and methodically until he stood naked in front of him. His cock was already beginning to fill, half-hard and rising, just at the thought of Matt's hands on him. The vivid sensory memory of Matt riding him and fucking him at the same time made him shiver faintly.

95 "Lie down on your stomach," Matt said. He climbed up onto the bed and spread his body out languorously over the sheets. He dug his toes into the covers, stretched his hands up to the headboard, and sighed with contentment. A rustle of fabric made him turn his head to watch while Matt undressed. His dick bobbed against his stomach, already fully hard and flushed. "Massage oil?" he asked, reaching toward the bedside drawer. Alex muffled his smile in the pillow while the other man opened the drawer and looked inside. That "third date" secret he'd mentioned seemingly long ago was his favorite toy, a silkysmooth vibrator that curved to not only bump his prostate but stimulate the patch of skin behind his balls as well. "Hmm," Matt said. "Remind me to use that on you at some other point, okay?" "No problem," he mumbled into the pillow. He heard a bottle uncap and Matt climbed on top of him, legs spread around his knees. Their calves brushed, warm and faintly furred. A moment later hot hands, so slick with oil, touched his shoulders. Alex let out the moan building in his chest while Matt pressed down and slid his hands from shoulders to ass, then back up along the same sliding path. His muscles seemed to melt into butter under the slippery, tender pressure. A pause and those wonderful hands spread more oil on his lower back, then dipped to cup his butt. Thumbs played along the crease but didn't spread him. He hummed into the pillow while Matt massaged him there, squeezing and kneading handfuls of his round ass cheeks. "That feels great," he sighed. "Good," Matt replied, husky but sounding cheerful.

96 Knuckles dug in just right at the small of his back and he shifted, popping his spine with the help. Matt teased out every knot, every tense muscle, with careful fingers and devoted attention. Alex found himself groaning continuously in a low rumble of sound. The massage was just that good. The faintest edge of pain washed through the pleasure at some of the tighter spots, like his shoulder blades, but it only added to the sensation. Matt leaned down to whisper into his ear, "I want to suck you." "Please, yes," he managed. Matt knelt up and he rolled over without a single thought to his sheets. His lover purred and slid down his body, slippery hands on his hips. Alex watched with heavy breaths while Matt leaned low and lifted his cock with a thumb to angle it right. Then he slid down without stopping until Alex could feel the tickle of his breath as he struggled for it against his belly. He gasped. "Not going to last," he said, winding his fingers in the golden, rich spill of Matt's hair. The other man pulled back briefly, his already darkening lips wet and glistening. "I want you to come in my mouth. I want to drink you down." "I'm safe," Alex panted. "I promise." "You would have told me by now if you weren't," Matt murmured, licking his lips. "You're too focused on honesty not to." He didn't get a chance to respond before that hot, hungry mouth sucked him down again. Muscles squeezed him tight as Matt took him into his throat and swallowed hard. He cried out and grasped at the sheets to keep from pulling on his lover's hair. His body, already languid from the massage, didn't seem to want to answer to his demands. He lay limp under Matt's ministrations except his clutching hands and straining dick. Matt's words flashed through his

97 head again as he moaned. His desire spiked as he closed his eyes and replayed the image of Matt's spit-slick lips asking him to come in his mouth. "Yeah," he groaned by way of warning. Matt made a hungry noise and plunged deeper, lips against Alex's trimmed dark curls. Alex clutched at his shoulder and arched his back as he thrust and came, body spasming along with his cock as he climaxed. The other man's throat rippled around him again, almost too much sensation, as he swallowed all Alex had to give. He whimpered and tugged at Matt's hair until he slipped free. "Wow," he gasped. He looked down the length of Matt's body and, as soon as he caught sight of his dick, his mouth watered. He wanted to return the same gift of desire. A gentle push to Matt's shoulder had him tumbling back onto his elbows, presenting himself. "You're clean?" Alex asked. "Totally clear," Matt sighed as Alex wrapped a hand around him. "Then let me swallow your come, too." Matt gripped him by the hair and pulled him down. He went unresisting and filled his mouth with silken, hot flesh. He flickered his tongue against the thick vein and sucked, working his way down. Matt guided him with a gentle tug to angle his head right and the last inch didn't choke him, though it did cut off his air. He swallowed reflexively and the other man grunted with pleasure, fingers jerking accidentally in his hair. He shuddered with the burn and the pleasure. "Really won't be long," Matt said and began to buck his hips. Alex held himself still and fought to swallow at the right times, breathe through his nose at the right times, and not gag himself. Fire raced through his veins while Matt fucked his mouth

98 just like he'd fantasized. He was held at his lover's mercy. Matt could choke him, hurt him, but he wouldn't. He moaned around the other man's dick and Matt cried out, shoving a little harder. Hot, bitter spunk flooded Alex’s mouth and he swallowed, still sucking, milking Matt for all he could give. "Enough, enough," he gasped. Alex let go and gasped for his own breath, his lungs still burning. His lips were sore on the inside and the out. His throat was raw and his mouth tasted odd. But looking into Matt's shining smile, his pleased, happy face, and feeling the adoration in his touch when he reached out and gathered Alex into his arms—that made it all perfect. "You are amazing," Matt said. "Same to you," he murmured. "We need to rinse me off and change the sheets." "I'll change the sheets and run a bath while you finish your reading," the professor said. He stretched, softening cock sticking to his thigh. He readjusted himself and winked at Alex when he finally dragged his eyes away from the show. "Didn't think I'd let you forget, did you?" "No, you take good care of me," Alex said with a smile. **** "I need to speak with you," Matt said to Kay as he packed up his bags after the Tuesday class. Alex eased out of the room, but Kay stared him down. He didn't actually think staying in the room while Matt kicked him out would be smart. It would give Kay another reason to target him. The dean had not been pleased to hear about the problems they'd been having, but he had been persuaded that Kay was a good student and perfectly stable, if not for the fact that he'd had a bad relationship with Alex and couldn't manage his feelings about him. While the dean had

99 made a snide remark about seeing that sort of behavior more often from young ladies, he gave Matt permission to remove Kay from the class. Now, doing it would be another matter, and much harder. It was pretty difficult to get rid of someone who didn't want to be gone. Alex leaned against the wall outside the door. He could hear their voices on the other side in conversation, then Kay's rising in decibel until it was wince-worthy. The door muffled the words, but he could only imagine. It would all be his fault, of course, no matter how much Matt tried to drive home that Kay's behavior had gone beyond inappropriate into creepy. A chair slammed back. He froze outside the door and suddenly realized he should have removed himself much farther from the warpath, maybe even all the way to his apartment. Yeah, a couple of miles away would have been better than here. He ducked into the next classroom over and shut the door behind him just in time. The other door slammed open and Kay thundered past without a glance into the darkened room's window. Alex breathed out a sigh of relief. It was stupid to think this issue was resolved, considering the look of incandescent rage on Kay's face as he passed, but at least he could put it off until Thursday if he got lucky. Maybe even the weekend. No, Kay wouldn't wait that long. A moment later he peered out the door and checked to make sure the hall was safely empty before slipping back into Matt's classroom. The professor had an absolutely thunderous look on his face. His eyebrows were drawn together in a tight scowl, his lips were pressed tightly, as if he were holding in a torrent of words. Kay had well and truly pissed him off. Alex sat on the edge of the desk next to him and didn't speak. Matt took a deep, shuddering breath and then let it out. The sound prickled hairs on the back of Alex's neck in a way that was definitely not fear.

100 He turned to his lover and pressed a small kiss to his cheek. Matt glanced at him. "He is the most crazy student I think I've ever had. And he's so goddamned infuriating on top of it. It's not fair for someone to be both those things, it's really not," Matt said. His voice was low with anger. "Want to go get dinner and a nice dessert to take your mind off of it? He's gone now, that's what matters." Alex smiled. "You don't really believe that," Matt corrected him. "He'll be back. But yes, dinner sounds lovely. Meet at your place? I recall a paper you still need to finish when we're done eating." "You recall right," he groaned. "I never do things the night before, but all the readings and this Kay situation have really got me behind." "And me," Matt murmured, giving him a hand up off the desk so they could walk to the parking garage together. "Don't forget all the time you spend with me. I'm sure that's taking up some of your homework space." "I wouldn't give it up," Alex said, a little more fiercely than he had intended. "Once this stress passes, it won't matter. You make sure I do my homework and you don't get pissed off if I have something to do." "I like to take care of people," Matt said with a shrug. "Especially you. You're so sweet and pliable." He grinned, and it was wicked. Alex fought a blush but his face heated anyway. "See?" Matt purred. "Sweet. I told you." "Hush," Alex said, and they parted ways at his car. "I'll see you in a minute."

101 As he started his car and drove to his apartment, Alex admitted to himself that he was relieved Matt had walked him to his car. It was what they always did, but knowing Kay was in a fine rage made him feel a little nervous. He would have said even a month earlier that there was no way the other man would ever physically attack him, but his volatile behavior was worrisome. No one wanted that kind of crazy directed at them. It could very well turn into a real fight, and he wanted witnesses if it did. Or, if he wanted to be honest with himself, someone to defend him. Matt was more muscular and seemed like he'd be better in a fistfight. Alex had a tendency to get dizzy when hit. As usual, Matt was leaning against his car when Alex pulled into the parking lot. Having a space on the first level of the garage seemed to make a decent difference in travel time. Either that or Matt didn't ever drive the speed limit. Alex admired him for a moment. He was wearing a sleek black jacket to keep off the growing chill as autumn faded and matching black slacks with a crisp, light blue shirt. He'd let down his hair, too, so it blew in the wind. "What are you waiting for?" he said once Alex stepped out of his car. "Just looking at you," he said with a smile. "Want to go back to the Brewery tonight?" he asked. "One of their pizzas sounds amazing." "Sure," Alex replied. "My car or yours?" "You drive," Matt said. "I'm still a little pissed off. I don't like to drive when I'm angry." "Good plan. Hop in." Matt immediately reached over and put his hand on Alex's knee as they settled into the car. He smiled at his lover and backed out of the lot. The warm pressure of Matt's fingers on his leg was comforting, soothing and arousing all at once. It hadn't been that long since the last time

102 they'd been together, but with Matt he had a hard time not thinking about sex. It was just so good, so perfect, and there were so many things they hadn't done yet. In fact, he'd left out a copy of Different Loving on the coffee table. A thrill shivered through him. He would tell Matt he wanted to hop in the shower, leave him with the book—maybe he would wait until Alex finished his quick shower, or maybe he would join him. "Are you okay?" Matt said as they pulled into the restaurant's lot. "What?" Alex asked, a bit bewildered. He looked into Matt's eyes and noticed that he was still frowning a little. "Why wouldn't I be?" "You're quiet, and a little distant, and after today's excitement I was thinking you might be freaked out," Matt said, shrugging. "I'm glad you're not. I want tonight to be fun and I'd like you to be able to finish that paper without having a coronary." Alex grinned and lifted his hands to Matt's face. His thumbs traced the soft skin over his cheekbones and met against his lips. Matt smiled. They leaned in at the same time and Alex sighed as their lips brushed. He melted into the embrace, hands sliding back to grasp the rich waves of Matt's hair and pull him deeper into the kiss. He licked along the sweet, smooth flesh of Matt's bottom lip. The professor sighed and nipped him gently before leaning back. "Dinner," he said huskily. "Dessert can come later, and not in the parking lot." "Okay, okay," Alex murmured, stretching in his seat. "Give me a minute before we get out of the car. These pants don't leave a lot to the imagination." He watched Matt look down and trace the line of his erection in the corduroy slacks with hungry eyes, shifting in his seat again to present himself more fully. His lover licked his lips. "You're not making this any easier," Matt said. "No," Alex replied cheerfully.

103 "Nothing better for taking my mind off of a bad day than looking at you," he murmured. Alex rolled his eyes and got out of the car. Matt grabbed his hand as soon as he caught up and they walked inside that way. It was nice to be off campus and free to touch as much as they wanted to. The hostess seated them nowhere near the booth they'd first shared together, but Alex still thought about that first dinner, how Matt had looked with his thin gold bracelet and deep tan complementing those amazing blue eyes. He was glad he'd decided to take the leap and go to bed with Matt, even though it had seemed frightening at first to be intimate so quickly. He couldn't imagine being nervous about sex now. It had only been a short while, but it felt like much longer. Matt grinned at him over the table and Alex wondered if he was thinking about their first dinner, too, or their first night together. Kay couldn't ruin this, not even if he tried. No e-mail or stupid fight could take away the joy Alex felt at this moment, sharing a nice dinner with his lover. He was almost afraid his heart would simply explode. "You look happy," Matt said, sipping his soda. "I am," Alex replied. The simple words rang with honesty. "How about you?" "Oh, yes," he said. He reached out across the table to brush the back of Alex's palm with his fingers. "I'm very happy. I'm glad I met you." "Me, too," Alex said. "I almost want to just skip dinner and take you right back home. Show you how much I want you, how much I love being with you," he murmured, eyes dark like a deep ocean. "We can do that after we eat," Alex said, breathless and unable to hide it, even if he wanted to. "We can do that all night if we want to."

104 "Well," the professor said. "First you have a paper to work on. I'm not letting you drop your grade just to spend an evening in carnal delight with me. We have all the time in the world for that, after all." Alex just smiled. "I was teasing," he said. "But some night we really should see how long we can spend in, how'd you put it, carnal delight." "You offering to be my little sex kitten for an evening?" Matt purred, almost whispering. "Yes," he said. Matt's expression flickered with hot lust for a moment before he got himself back to normal. Alex let out a sigh of his own and tried to relax. Somehow they always ended up doing verbal foreplay in public. It was almost embarrassing, but he couldn't help it. Matt's dirty mouth just encouraged the worst—or best—in him. "Innocent topics," his lover declared. "Seriously, or they're going to kick us out for indecent exposure. Keeping my hands off of you is hard enough when you aren't offering to be my bedroom slave." "If you can't stop saying things like that, I can't stop answering," he said. Matt smirked. The waitress brought their dinner at that moment and he turned a sunny smile on her, as if he hadn't just been talking about using Alex for nights of nonstop sex. Alex felt his face heating up and could do nothing to hide the blush except hope she didn't notice. After that the meal passed quickly; neither was particularly interested in delaying their return home. Matt actually groped him on the way to the car, squeezing his butt with definite intent. Alex made a tiny noise of disapproval and jumped. "Please don't do that while I'm driving," he said. "Hard to, when you'll be sitting on that fine ass," Matt joked.

105 "Or anything else. No grabbing. I don't want to drive us into a tree." "Take away all my fun," he said, laughing. True to his word, Matt didn't do anything more distracting than rub Alex's knee the whole drive home. He even managed to keep his hands free for long enough to open the door. As soon as they stepped inside, though, he had both his arms wrapped around Alex's waist in a nanosecond. He barely had time to squeal before Matt's mouth pressed over his, hot and tender. A slick caress of tongue against his lip had him gasping into the kiss. Matt pulled back with a short sigh. "I want to hop in the shower," Alex said. "And don't come in, because I really would like to finish that paper before we distract ourselves." "Not a problem," Matt said, raising an eyebrow. "Why the shower?" "Nervous sweating all class today," he admitted. "I was not looking forward to that confrontation with Kay." "Okay," he said, pressing another, softer kiss to his cheek. "Go wash up. I'll be on the couch." Alex nodded and strode down the hall as calmly as he could. He listened for the couch creaking, then closed the door to the bathroom without locking it. Would Matt pick up the book? His heart pounded with nerves and adrenaline. Would he be freaked out? What if he didn't like that kind of thing, or thought it was weird? Alex rested his head against the cool mirror and tried to calm himself down. It didn't work. He was nervous and horny all at the same time. He stripped out of his clothes and piled them in the corner before turning on the shower. His dick was so hard it lay flat against the curve of his hip. He stroked himself once, tip to base, and let go to avoid temptation.

106 The hot water cascaded down his body like a thousand needles. He shuddered, tilting his face up into the spray and letting it rush through his hair and down his back. Even it couldn't soothe his nerves. He waited for the creak of the door opening, for the sound of footfalls outside, anything; even if it was no, he wanted an answer before he went mad. With trembling fingers he picked up the shampoo and began to lather his hair. If by the time his shower was finished Matt still hadn't come in, he might not have noticed the book. But how could he not? It was hard to ignore. "Alex," Matt said through the door. He jumped so hard that he slid and caught himself with a shouted curse on the shower rail. The other man burst through the door and yanked the curtain back. Alex blinked up at him owlishly, covered in soap and dangling by his arm from the rail, half sitting. Matt began to laugh and Alex chuckled. After a moment they were both grinning ear to ear. "I thought you fell and hurt yourself," Matt said. "Almost," he replied. "Finish your rinse," he said. Alex tugged the curtain closed again and ran his fingers through the thick mass of his hair to work out the shampoo and any knots. He was desperately aware of his lover waiting just beyond the flimsy curtain, watching the motions of his body through it, no doubt. He turned off the water. The sudden silence was deafening. "I saw your book," Matt offered, still unseen through the curtain. Alex swallowed hard. "And I'm guessing you aren't wanting to be the top, are you?" "No," he said.

107 Another silence. He stepped out of the shower gingerly onto a towel Matt had spread out for him. He hesitated, dripping wet and still hard. Matt lounged on the closed lid of the toilet, sitting with his face at waist level. His eyes raked like hot fingers down Alex's chest and settled on his cock. Alex shivered and it wasn't with cold. "So do you want to give it a trial run?" Matt said. He looked so relaxed, but Alex could sense a tension in him. "Or should we talk about it first?" "Trial run," Alex said quietly. "If you want." Matt glanced up and the heat burning in his eyes nearly stole Alex's breath. The other man reached out and palmed his hips, reached back to lift and squeeze his ass. Alex rose up on his toes and gasped. Wet lips slid around the head of his dick and then down, enveloping him in heat. He moaned, his hands clenching at his sides while Matt used the tight grip on his butt to hold him still. Slippery tongue flickered against the ridge and down to the base of his dick. Matt drew back with a slurp and Alex whined. The air seemed so much colder on his slick cock. "On your knees," Matt said, his voice heavy with command. Alex dropped as if his strings had been cut, and he saw the need for the towel. It cushioned his knees against the tile. Matt ran careful hands through his wet hair and held it back from his face. What he saw there must have pleased him because he dropped one hand to Alex's cheek and stroked his bottom lip tenderly, one side to the other, teasing. Alex moaned, hunger and desire tightening his belly. He wanted this. "There's so much I can do," Matt murmured. "I don't know where to begin. I've never done this before, but I want to. I want to make you break apart and hold you while you come back together again."

108 Alex shuddered. He didn't speak because he couldn't find the words to say, yes. There weren't enough in the world to describe how much he wanted exactly what Matt had said. Instead he turned his face and rubbed his cheek against the other man's open palm, like a cat, and flickered his tongue across those searching, tender fingertips. Matt drew in a harsh breath. Heat poured down Alex's body. "Please, sir," he whispered. "I know what I want to do," Matt murmured. "I liked blindfolding you. Did you like that, too? Shake your head." Alex nodded. The intensity of Matt's stare made him want to hide his need, but his lover already knew how much he wanted to do this. There was no shame in letting him see inside as deeply as he wanted to. Matt ran his hands through Alex's hair one more time and stood. "Follow me to the bedroom." His knees shook as he pried himself up and followed behind the professor. He wanted to ask what was going to happen, wanted to beg that Matt just tell him. But that was all part of the anticipation. He didn't own many toys beyond the one in his drawer. There was no reason to own any floggers or paddles without someone to use them. What would Matt do? "I'm going to dry you off first," his lover said, pressing fingers under his chin so he would look up and meet his eyes. "Then I'm going to blindfold you. If you don't like what's happening, tell me to stop. We can find a real safe word another time, okay?" "Yes, sir," he murmured. "Stay right there," Matt said with a quick smile and walked out of the room. Alex brushed his own fingers against his thighs but otherwise didn't move. The satisfaction that bundled his heart in warm desire at following this simple command surprised

109 him. He wanted to do what Matt asked of him. He liked it. That was a good thing to have confirmed in something other than a fantasy. He didn't turn to look when he heard Matt come back into the room and the other man murmured quiet praise. Matt tousled his hair with the towel to get it a little dry, then rubbed it down his back. The soft material almost tickled Alex’s oversensitive skin and he arched a little, letting out a quiet gasp. Matt dried him thoroughly, from ass to knees to feet and back up again. He met his lover's eyes again when Matt came to stand in front of him and began to pat him dry. The cloth brushed his nipples into hard peaks, tenderly cupped his balls and slid across his erection. His eyelids fluttered but he wanted to hold the gaze between them. Matt's attention was a precious thing. When he dropped to his knees to dry his legs, Alex gulped, shivering at the sight and the memory of those lips wrapped around him. "There," Matt murmured. "All clean and fresh." Alex watched as he picked through the ties on the tie rack and finally picked a plain cotton black one. He tested the weight of it in his hands, slid it through his fingers, rubbed his thumbs against it. Alex swallowed hard, his pulse accelerating. That was the one. He took a last, nearly frantic look into Matt's blue eyes before the fabric settled over his own, leaving nothing but blackness. Warm hands traced down his chest and he leaned into the touch, needing to be grounded against something solid. "Climb up on the bed and get on all fours," Matt said. He felt the man shift to stand behind him, so he shuffled forward until he bumped the bed and crawled up onto it. The sheets rubbed his knees, still a little sore from kneeling in the bathroom. He put his hands on the headboard without being asked and Matt made a satisfied noise.

110 "You look good like that," he said. "I should bring my cuffs over here and chain you up like that one day. You're open for me. I like that." Alex shuddered, gripping the frame harder. He felt dizzy with his blindness, listening only to the sound of Matt's voice without the touch of his hand to soothe or guide. He was so hot, he thought he would start to sweat. His skin prickled with imagined caresses and anticipation of the first touch. "Today I'm going to make you come," Matt said, still not touching him. "And then once you're limp and satisfied, I'm going to fuck you. It will almost be too much for you so soon, but I think you'll be all right, don't you? Won't it be wonderful to feel every inch of me inside you without any distractions?" "Yes," Alex gasped. His legs trembled, his body shivered. He wondered if he had developed some kind of fever. "Yes, sir." The bed creaked and shifted. He strained back against his own grip on the headboard and encountered only a hard smack on his ass for the trouble. He cried out and lurched forward, not from any real pain, but because the sting blossomed into an amazing pleasure. Before he could calm his breathing or center himself, Matt slapped his other cheek just as hard. He rocked back into nothingness, the burn flowing through his nerves, wanting more. Nothing came. He whimpered, unable to hold the sound in. He couldn't know where the next touch would be, if it would be a slap or a kiss. His own heavy breathing covered noises, too. He tried to calm his panting so he could hear, but his body wouldn't obey him as he struggled for composure. Slick fingers cupped his balls suddenly and he moaned, tossing his head back and rocking into the touch. Those oiled fingers reached forward to stroke him and a hot, smooth wrist pressed his sack up against his

111 body. He squeezed his eyes shut, even though he was equally blind either way. Another slippery squeeze stroked down the length of him, hard enough that it danced the line between pleasure and pain. He cried out. Matt let go of him suddenly, leaving him swaying, bereft. If this was his first experience, Alex could only imagine what kind of a dominant he would be with practice. A thumb slid up and down his spread buttocks, teasing him. At each pass it pressed but didn't enter until he was writhing and grinding back helplessly. Then Matt pushed one finger into him and he froze, mouth open but without sound. A second followed quickly. Knuckles brushed him and Matt shoved his fingers suddenly deeper. Alex gasped, holding still and letting him do as he wished, no matter how hard it was. He didn't withdraw; instead he crooked his fingers and stroked, still in deep. Alex knew what he was trying to do and held himself so still he shook, waiting, waiting— then sharp, almost-too-intense pleasure burst through him and he pushed back against the intrusion. "That's it," Matt whispered. "I want you to come as soon as you can, honey." Alex would have scoffed at the nickname any other time but this. Instead he wailed and clutched the headboard while Matt stroked him inside and didn't let up for even one second. Each press and push built on the pleasure of the previous burst until Alex could see nothing but white behind his eyelids. His body wound taut and shook with it. He wasn't sure he could come from just this. He didn't think he could, even if it was so good he was blinded with pleasure. "Come on," Matt said, a little sharper. "I want to feel you clench around my fingers when you come. I want to feel you like this while I make you do it. Come on, Alex."

112 "God," he cried out, bowing his head and fucking his hips back helplessly onto his lover's fingers. Alex obliged him and began to thrust a little, not enough to lose his stroking, but just enough to add to the ecstasy. The orgasm caught him in its grip suddenly and clamped down like a fist on his nerves. Pleasure sparked and shot through every inch of his body like lightning, almost burning, too good, too startling. He screamed with it, raking his nails on the wood of the headboard, accidentally smacking his head into the wall but not even caring. Matt's fingers slid free. Alex had a moment, only a moment, to gasp for breath before the other man's dick pushed against him and inside in one hard shove. Matt filled him in that one stroke, a hand on his shoulder yanking him back onto the thrust. He cried out again, wracked with shudders as continued pleasure bordering on pain lanced through him. Matt growled and slammed into him again, again, always against that swollen, pleasure-sore spot. His hands slipped and he buried his face in the covers to muffle his shouts and wails. He couldn't make himself stop, couldn't hold the sounds in as they spilled free. Matt let out a yell of his own and ground deep into him. Without the thin latex between them he could feel the pulses of the other man's cock as he came. Matt held himself up above him, panting harshly. Sweat dripped lazily onto Alex's back and he felt it like raindrops. After a long, drifting minute Matt's careful hands pried his fingers off of the headboard. They ached fiercely. He must have held on too hard. "I'm going to pull out," he said, hoarse. The slide against his overused muscles made Alex shudder again, whimpering. Matt collapsed next to him. Alex wanted to huddle back against his furnace-hot body but he couldn't quite work his limbs yet. Instead he made a sound like a small cat, mewing for attention. Matt

113 got the hint and wrapped an arm loosely around his shoulder, cupping his body along the side of Alex's. "You feel okay?" he said, and Alex heard the first hint of nervousness. "Did I hurt you?" "No," he managed. "’s good." "That's good," Matt sighed. "You can't go to sleep, you know. Paper to write." "Give me a minute," he grumbled into the covers. "I'll go put some coffee on," he said. His arm squeezed in a little hug. "Do you need me to help you up?" "Nah," he said. His legs were tingling, but that meant he could move them again. "Make me some coffee and I'll be in there in a minute." "I liked this," Matt said quietly. "I did, too." Matt stroked his damp hair once. "I don't think it's for all the time, but I like it. I like making you come apart underneath me. You're so gorgeous, you don't even know." "Agreed," he murmured. "But I like it when you tell me what to do. I like it when you take care of me." "Yeah," he said. Alex smiled into the covers. Matt hadn't gotten up or moved his arm yet. Neither of them seemed to want to leave this comfortable den of adoration and discovery. Maybe a few more minutes of snuggling wouldn't hurt. There would be coffee, later, after all. Papers didn't take that long.

114

Chapter Six Alex swung his book bag over his shoulder and started up the stairs of the parking garage. The paper was turned in and he hadn't fallen behind on any of his reading yet, so he could count it as a good day. Matt had made noises about giving the class their first quiz or paper soon, which meant he would actually have something to work on for his position as TA other than a few lectures later in the term. He rounded the corner to the third floor and stopped short. Kay was leaning against his car. He looked up when Alex hesitated. "I can't believe you," Kay said venomously. Alex dropped his bag and took his hands out of his pockets. Kay pushed off of the car and started toward him. "Do you fuck everybody? Is that how you get ahead?" "What?". Kay reached into his pocket and pulled out a camera. He dangled it from its strap, smiling viciously. Alex's stomach dropped to his toes. Matt couldn't afford to lose his job over this. There were security cameras all over the parking garage. His mind raced. If he could get Kay to attack him, he could smash the camera and have blackmail material. "I saw you," Kay said. "No wonder he kicked me out of his class. You're just that good, aren't you? I can't believe I never saw that you were a whore when we were together." Alex grit his teeth. "You only see what you want to see, Kay. This is the first relationship I've been in since you left me. I don't think you can call me a whore for that." "Yeah, right," he said. "I've got photo proof that you went into your apartment together and didn't come out until morning. Plus all those kisses in your car."

115 "And what exactly do you plan to do with those?" he snapped. "Send them to the dean? I'm not his student. He's not my professor. What do you possibly hope to gain? He won't be fired and neither will I. You'll probably get expelled for stalking, though." Kay raised his eyebrows. "Really, now. He's your boss. You're a student, even if you aren't his. It's his first semester here. I'm pretty sure they'll at least kick you out of that class. I think I'll probably go show the dean in person with a nice teary story about how you've railroaded me." "You're pathetic," Alex said. But inside he was shaking. Kay hadn't done anything with the pictures yet; maybe he hadn't even uploaded them to his personal computer. "No, scratch that. You're just nuts. I guess I fucked Brian because deep down I knew there was something wrong with you." Kay stiffened and he drew his lips back from his teeth in an almost animal expression of rage. His hands trembled. Alex took a step closer to him. His brain kept supplying unhelpful reminders that Kay was a black belt in some martial art or another, and this was going to hurt. It was going to hurt a lot. "Nothing to say?" Alex murmured, taking another step. "All you can do is skulk around following me because you're too much of a pussy to do anything about it yourself. You need everybody else to do your dirty work for you. I'm surprised you even had the balls to leave me." Alex saw Kay's fist clench out of the corner of his eye and braced himself. He lunged back when the other man took a swing at him but Kay's fist clipped his jaw and sent him stumbling back. Pain rocked through his face and he fought the urge to clutch at his chin. He tasted blood. Kay advanced on him and he stood frozen, unsure of what to do. Get the camera. That was why this was going to happen.

116 Kay had tucked it back into his shirt pocket; Alex noticed the bulge. Kay snarled at him and swung hard. He slammed his body forward into the other man's instead of dodging. They tumbled to the ground, all elbows and heels and pain. Alex yowled as Kay grabbed a fistful of his ponytail and jerked as hard as he could. His scalp went hot with agony and he felt the tearing of a thousand separate hairs. Kay flung him onto his back, hard, knocking the breath out of him. His head cracked the pavement once. Dizziness washed over him. His vision spun. Kay climbed on top of him and reeled his fist back again. Alex saw blood on his knuckles. He grabbed the camera strap and pulled. Kay shouted and grabbed for it but he rolled onto his stomach, dislodging the other man, and smashed the tiny camera against the ground. It shattered with a sound like glass breaking. The noise of rage Kay made raised the hairs on the back of his neck. The car was barely two yards away. He spat out a mouthful of blood and hauled himself up onto his knees. Kay kicked him in the ribs, sprawling him onto his back again without a sound. He couldn't breathe. He stared wildly up at the other man. Kay panted, his cheeks red with exertion. He hauled his foot back. Alex lunged for him and grabbed his leg like a child in a playground fight. He yanked backwards. Kay toppled with a shout, but he caught himself on his hands and twisted his body. Alex clung to the foot he had in his grip but Kay slammed the other into his shoulder and knocked him off balance again. His whole body ached fiercely and his chest hurt with a sharp, insistent pain when he breathed. He pulled Kay's shoe off and scrambled to his feet. "You son of a bitch," Kay snapped. "Take your fucking shoe," he yelled, pitching it overhand like a baseball. The sneaker hit the other man square in the face. He didn't wait to see Kay recover; he just ran.

117 Or would have, if a hand hadn't locked in the back of his shirt and yanked. His fingers slid across his trunk with a squeal. So close. Alex punched him in the back, a dull thud of pain. He spun and cracked his elbow into Kay's already-bleeding nose. The other man staggered, blinded momentarily. He bolted to his driver's side door and nearly dropped his keys trying to get them out of his pocket. He felt Kay loom over his back and turned his whole body into one punch, keys in hand. They caught him right across the cheek with a sickening tearing sensation. Kay screamed outright, doubling over to clutch his face. Alex flung himself into his car and locked the door. His hands were shaking so badly, he couldn't fit the key into the ignition. The surveillance tapes were going to be a hell of a lot of fun to watch for the security guards later if Kay tried to press charges for his face. He held his keys up and his stomach lurched. Blood and a little flesh clung to them. He glanced out his window. Kay was still huddled against the other car. Maybe he was crying. Alex's stomach did another ugly twist. On the inside, though, he was sure Kay might have beaten him to death if he hadn't fought back. He hadn't given up and let him run, certainly. He wiped his keys on his pants, trying not to gag, and finally managed to start his car. If he felt guilty as he backed out and left his old lover bleeding all over his own hands, no one would know. The hot sting on his face might have been tears, or just sweat in his wounds. His vision blurred and wavered as he drove to Matt's apartment. He stayed carefully under the speed limit. The sun burned at his shifting eyes. He made the turn into the complex sloppily and almost knocked over a sign, but he made it into a parking space without hitting anyone's car. Getting out of his own was a bigger struggle; his legs barely moved when he wanted them to,

118 and his sides were a screaming orchestra of pain. He shambled up to the door and thumped his body against it. He heard feet shuffling then the door opened inwards. He wobbled. "Oh, my God," Matt said. Alex swayed against his doorjamb, holding his sides with both arms like his ribs would splinter and fall out. His eye had swollen shut while he drove and the cut in his mouth wouldn't stop bleeding. He must have looked like a wreck. He felt like one. Matt opened his door and took his arm gently to lead him inside. "What happened?" he said. "Kay," he said thickly. His mouth just plain hurt. "I'll write it down. Talking's bad." "Come upstairs, I'll get you cleaned up. Do you need to call the police?" Matt's hands fluttered nervously over him, unsure, like butterflies. "A doctor?" "Hurt him back," Alex grumbled. If he made sure he didn't move his jaw while he talked it was better. "No police. Don't want to get sued or something." "Where?" "Parking garage. He started it. Got it on film, I'm sure." "You have to let go of yourself so I can get your shirt off," Matt said. His voice sounded heavy with sadness. Alex looked into his eyes. They were glistening with tears. "Hey," he said. "I'm okay. It looks bad but I'm okay." "Let me judge that," Matt said. Alex took a shallow breath and eased his hands away from his sides. The pain was immediate and intense. He whimpered under his breath. Matt's eyebrows furrowed together with the intensity of his frown. He didn't say anything, instead unbuttoning Alex's shirt. His hands sped a little when he saw the patches of blood smeared on it.

119 "Not all mine," Alex said. "Hit him with my keys when he tried to take me out at the car." "Hush," Matt said. "Tell it to me later." Alex watched his bent head while he spread the shirt and sucked in a breath. He didn't really want to look at his own body, but he could see the purple bruising on his gut and side whether he tried to or not. It was ugly. He hoped Kay hadn't cracked any of his ribs. Matt eased the shirt down his arms and past his blood-clotted, sore hands. He shivered and the motion hurt. "I don't know what to do," Matt admitted, staring at his chest. He sounded almost frantic. "You could have broken bones, Alex. I want you to go to the doctor." "Morning," he said. "Okay?" "Okay. I'll drive you." "You'll miss class," he protested, shifting to sit up straighter despite the agony. "I have days I can take. I'll be telling the dean about this, anyway. I want him out of the damned university. Gone. Away." The first hint of anger crept into his voice. "Or I'll kill him myself." "He had pictures of us," Alex murmured. Matt looked up, shocked. "Was following us. I broke the camera. I think if we don't press charges, I can get him to let it go. He doesn't want to go to jail for assault." "But he'll be lurking," Matt said, unhappy. "He'll be lurking until he's dead," Alex sighed. "Once he's out of college, he should disappear, though. He graduates this semester." "Okay," he said. "We'll talk about that later. For now, shut up, okay? I can tell it's hurting you." Matt tried to smile. "I'm going to clean off your face, I guess."

120 He stood up and took a first aid kit and a bottle of peroxide out of his medicine cabinet. Alex unbuttoned his own pants. His knees hurt a hell of a lot and there was blood soaking through that part of his slacks. They were probably skinned. It was hard to separate one pain from another; his whole body was on fire. Matt knelt again and helped him out of his pants and underwear. He sat nude and cold on the closed toilet lid, inspecting his own injuries as best he could. Both knees were skinned. His hip was scraped. A long line of concrete-burn ran up his whole left leg, and there were bruises blossoming on his calves like ugly flowers. He spread his hands and looked at them. Scraped on the tops and his palms; knuckles gashed and the inside of his right hand shredded from the impact of the keys. He could only imagine what Kay's face felt and looked like. What if he'd scarred him for life, damaged him permanently? "I didn't mean to," he said, hoarse but louder. "I didn’t mean to do that to him." "What?" Matt said, distracted. He was dabbing peroxide onto wipes. "I hit him in the face with the keys," he said, quieter. "I didn't mean to hurt him that badly. I just wanted him to let me go. I left him huddled on a car, crying. He was bleeding everywhere." Just saying it made him relive the moment, and nausea rolled in his gut. "I think I might be sick," he said weakly. "Oh, God, let's not," Matt said sharply. "Do you know how much that will hurt? Think about that for a minute and hold it in. You do not want to vomit. Trust me." Alex swallowed hard. Matt brushed the first swab over his knee. He yelped, but as the peroxide fizzled he had to admit the sting wasn't bad. He was glad it wasn't alcohol. Matt carefully cleaned both his knees and move on to the hip with a fresh gauze pad. Once they were

121 cleaned, he smeared antibiotic cream on bandages and taped them over each scrape. Alex's breathing came slow and easy. His eyelids drooped. The cream had a pain reliever in it, too, because his sore spots began to fade. Matt skipped his torso to wipe the blood off of his face. In the end it all had come from his mouth and a shallow scrape on his scalp. The bruised ribs were the most alarming injury, but his back ached, too. "Think my back's hurt," he managed. His jaw had stiffened again after moments of silence. He leaned forward and Matt hissed. "What?" "You, ah, are missing a lot of skin. Let's just leave it at that." The size of the wipe Matt wetted with peroxide gave him an idea. It was three times the side of the ones he'd used for the smaller scrapes. He stood and angled himself between the toilet and the sink and began tenderly dabbing at Alex's back. He started at just below his shoulders and slowly, slowly worked his way down in patches. Alex gulped. He didn't stop until his lower back. "Tell me that isn't one big scrape," he begged. "It is," Matt said. "I'll put cream on it. It's shallow, but it's going to hurt you for awhile. I'll have to help you shower. You won't have a lot of range of motion when it scabs." "How do you know all this?" Alex murmured. It was harder to breathe leaned over and he had to take shallow sips of air. Matt paused, just for a split second. "Experience," he said. His voice didn't quite invite more questions. "My father." "Got hurt?" Alex asked. "Hurt others," he corrected. "I'd rather not talk about it."

122 "Okay," he said slowly. His mind seemed to be drifting. "I think I need to go to sleep." "Did you hit your head?" Matt said. Smooth hands on his shoulders eased him to sit back up. "I need you to stand so I can wrap your chest and back. It'll keep the ribs tight and the wounds clean." Alex braced himself and rocked to his feet, swaying again. The world spun a little but he held his breath until it steadied. Everything throbbed as blood rushed to his extremities. Matt was quick and efficient with the bandaging. It must have been like riding a bike, something he didn't forget. "I said, did you hit your head?" "Yeah," Alex murmured, blinking. "Twice." "Fucking hell," Matt said. "Oh, goddamn it. You need a doctor." "Morning?" he said imploringly. "No," Matt said. "Now. We're getting you dressed and going to the hospital. It's barely evening, they'll take you." "But…" he managed. "Consider this an order," Matt said, though his voice was so unsteady that it lacked force. "I'm taking you and that is final." Alex blinked at him, still bleary, and realized he just didn't have the energy to argue. He shuffled behind while Matt led him to his bedroom and found clean clothes. Would he have to throw out the other ones? Probably, considering the one time he'd cut his finger cooking and bled on a nice dress shirt, it was ruined beyond repair. There was a lot more blood this time. ****

123 Matt guided him to lie down on the bed. Three cracked ribs and a very minor concussion, but that was the worst of the damage. The doctor had spent a long time staring at him, but he really had been in a fight. It was obvious Matt hadn't had a part in it because he was scratch-free, but the doctor still seemed suspicious. It rankled Alex’s nerves, but he couldn't do anything about it. He didn't want to press charges. "I can't give you the painkillers until tomorrow," Matt said, sitting on the bed next to him. He looked tired. "But you should rest. I have to wake you up every hour, too, so tonight's going to be wonderful." "Thought they said that was a precaution," Alex mumbled. "Well, I'm doing it," he said. "Head wounds fall under the better-safe-than-sorry category, Alex." He pried his eyes open, unsure of when he'd shut them. Matt was sort of glaring at him. He blinked hard. "Are you angry?" "Not at you, really," he said. "But yeah, I'm pretty pissed off." "I'll call him in the morning and discuss the terms of mutual surrender," he joked. It came out sounding flat and exhausted. "Then we can put this all behind us and finish the term." "I already called the Dean for both of us. Class is cancelled tomorrow. I can email your other professors for you, if you want." "That would be good," he said. "Use my e-mail account. Don't want them wondering why you're the one taking care of me. Suspicion is bad." "Yeah, yeah," Matt said. He ran a gentle hand through Alex's matted hair. "Can't wait until this semester is over with and we can act normal. It's driving me crazy to have to keep this a secret."

124 "Me, too," Alex said. His eyes drifted slowly shut. The petting was relaxing. "Go to sleep," Matt said. "I'll wake you in a little bit. Maybe you can eat something." Alex just groaned. He didn't want to put anything in his mouth. It hadn't needed stitches, but it still hurt like hell. Matt managed a laugh and ran a finger over his uninjured cheek. If he hadn't been sure of the other man's intentions, he definitely was now. If he was just in it for the sex, the sight of Alex's bruised and swollen face would have scared him right away. He snorted a little laugh. "What?" Matt said. "Nothing," he replied, but he couldn't help smiling. What seemed like minutes later, he woke groggily to a hand shaking his shoulder. He whined and batted at the arm attached to it, squeezing his eyes shut. His head felt like an explosion, or maybe the aftereffects of one. "Come on, baby," Matt said. "You need to wake up." "Hurts," he said. "I know," he sighed. "I've got some soup ready downstairs. You should be able to sip that all right. Wake up." Alex rolled carefully onto his back and opened his eyes. Matt brushed his hair back from his face and put a hand under his shoulders. He sat up with help, grinding his teeth at the twinge from his ribs. Kay had done a number on him. It was harder to feel guilty about the keys after waking up this way. He hadn't landed barely two hits and he was stiff with scrapes and bruises from head to ankle. "Soup?" he grunted.

125 "Soup," Matt agreed. "And I took the liberty of leaving a message on his phone to tell him it would be best if we all worked this out together without bringing in outside opinions." "Okay," he said. He hadn't thought of that. "Lean on me," Matt said as they stood. His legs were oddly shaky. "I feel like an old man," he grumbled. "But in a lot more pain." "I'm going to make fun of you for being this whiny when you're feeling better," Matt said sagely. "A lot of fun." "Shut up," he said. "It sucks." "You were the one who got in the fight, you know," he replied. "It was for the greater good, sure, but you still did it knowing you were going to get beaten up." "How'd you guess?" he said. "When you told me he was waving around the camera, but he would get the assault charges, I figured you goaded him into it to get the camera," Matt said with a tiny shrug. "I know you. You're not violent, but you're too smart for your own good." "That about sums it up," he agreed with a grin that stung a little. "I'm still not entirely pleased, but you did what you could, and I guess I'll have to let it go," he said. "I hate seeing you hurt." Alex turned his head to look at Matt. The pain in his voice was a little sobering. "Sorry," Matt said. "I'm being emotional today." "I'm sorry," Alex said. "I didn't mean to get hurt. I'm sorry I made you worry." "It's okay," he said. "Just never, ever do anything like this again."

126 Matt settled him at the kitchen table and took the lid off a pot of soup on the stove. He looked around the room. It was well stocked, surprisingly so for someone who seemed to eat out so much. Alex ate out because he couldn't cook well, but Matt didn't seem to have that problem. "Why don't we eat here sometime?" he said. "Huh?" Matt murmured, pouring him a bowl. "Oh, I just thought you'd rather go on dates. It's more exciting." "No," he said quietly. "I think I like you cooking for me better." Matt smiled at him, the biggest, sunniest expression he'd managed all day. Alex returned it as much as he could with his stiff, sore mouth. The bowl of soup, steaming underneath his nose, smelled like herbs. Little pieces of chicken and potato made his mouth water, which stung a little. "This looks good," he said. "You having a bowl too?" "Sure," Matt said. "It's just a basic soup. I can show you how to make it." "I can't cook," Alex said. Matt scoffed. "Anyone can cook, they just have to be taught how. And I am a professor, after all. You can trust me." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Alex snickered. The pain in his ribs was worth the smile that finally didn't leave his lover's face. He ate his soup slowly in tiny bites that he could manage with the good side of his mouth. Matt was finished and cleaning up the kitchen before he was even halfway through, but he did manage to eat most of it. He hadn't realized how hungry he was through the aches and pains, but he was thoroughly glad he'd eaten. "I'd suggest sex," he said mournfully. "But I don't think I can actually do it right now."

127 "Your own fault," Matt said, rolling his eyes. "Maybe if you're good and do your homework I'll help you out with that." "But I can't return the favor," he said, flexing his sore hands. "In any capacity. I'm all wrecked up." "Baby," Matt said, grinning. "Do you honestly think I'm going to hold it against you if you can't give me a blow job because you got beaten up? Seriously?" Alex blushed. "Thought so," he said. "Now get settled on the couch and I'll bring you your stuff. You can use my laptop to see if your professors have e-mailed you back your assignments. I pretended to be you and said you would be out with injuries for the rest of the week." "At least it didn't happen on a Monday," he said. "I only miss two days of class this way." Then he paused. "Oh, goddammit." "What?" Matt said. "My book bag," he groaned. "I left it in the garage because I dropped it before he hit me." "Oh," Matt said. "Hmm. That's going to be a problem." "I can't afford more books," he said, staring at his hands. "Well," Matt said. "I'll get you an early birthday present, then. When is your birthday, anyway?" "May thirtieth," he said. "Yours?" "October eleventh," he said. "Now that we've got that covered. I'll go pick them up tomorrow if you write down what you need. The store's closed by now." "Are you sure?" he said, shifting. "You don't have to do this for me."

128 Matt sat next to him on the couch and put an arm around his shoulders. "I'm your lover," he said quietly. "That means I can help you. Buy you gifts. Doesn't matter what, but I'm part of your life, and you're part of mine." "Okay," Alex said. He leaned into the embrace. "I'm tired again." "Check your e-mail first," Matt said. "Do you think you can handle a bath or will it be too much?" "Well," he said. "We can try it." "I'll wash your hair for you," he said. "Your back is going to be too sore for you to do it yourself. I'll go run the water." Alex watched him go up the stairs, his heart equally heavy with guilt and light with joy. He hated hurting Matt's feelings and upsetting him, but the devotion and care he was receiving were certainly something to warm the soul. Matt loved him, too; Alex was growing surer of it with each day. How to say it, though, and when? This didn't seem like the right time at all. It would come, though. He checked his e-mail and made mental notes of the readings and one paper that would have been assigned on Friday. They were all easy enough, if he had his books. The Tuesday and Thursday materials would still be at his apartment, though. Matt came back down the stairs, the sound of running water above him. "Do you think after I take a bath we can pick up some of the books I didn't lose from my apartment, and my laptop?" "Not a problem," Matt replied. "I can pick those up while you take your next hour-long sleep. Are they still next to your couch in the green messenger bag?" "Yeah," he said. "I'm really glad I keep separate bags for the separate sets of classes."

129 "Me, too," Matt said with a joking grin. "Otherwise I'd be buying birthday and Christmas for you all at once." Alex rolled his eyes. "Help me to the bath?" "Any time," he said. Matt offered him a bracing arm to help him off the couch and together they made it back up the stairs. The ribs were the worst of the problem. By the time Alex hit the top step he was nearly wheezing with pain. Matt rubbed his arm tenderly. He couldn't even rub Alex’s back because it would hurt. Alex stripped with his lover's help outside the bathroom door. Button-up shirts were easy enough, but he couldn't quite bend over enough to get his pants off, so Matt knelt and tugged them away. Alex didn't much like being an invalid. "How long until this heals again?" he said. "Weeks for the ribs to be in shipshape again," Matt said. "But you'll be feeling less pain once you can actually take the medicine. With the concussion, though, you just can't risk it yet." He managed to take his own bandages off his knees and hip, but Matt had to unwind the one around his chest and back. At least none of the ribs had broken; that would be infinitely worse. He stepped into the hot water with a sigh. His feet weren't hurt, at least, so he could enjoy the soothing heat. "Hmm," Matt said. "Do you think you can get down into the tub on your own or should I lean over and brace you?" "By God, I hope I can get into the bath by myself," he sighed. Matt hovered while he found a grip on the shower rail and the edge of the tub and lowered himself down, careful not to bend at the waist. The hot water stung fiercely as it lapped

130 over his skinned knees and hip, but that was nothing compared to the burn as he submerged part of his scraped back. He grit his teeth and closed his eyes. "Do you need to get out?" Matt said. "Fuck," he ground out. "No. I can do this." The pain receded to normal after a moment or two of soaking. Matt turned off the water and they sat in silence beyond his slight panting. The water actually felt good on his torso, though, soothing all the bruises. It was just the open wounds that didn't seem to like it. "Oh, washing my hair is going to suck so hard," he groaned. "Well, if you can lean forward with the ribs I'll try to keep all the soap off of your back. I do have a removable shower head, you know." Matt gestured up and he noticed it for the first time. "It's pretty fun in other circumstances." "Later," he said. "Let's get my hair." Matt guided him to lean forward with gentle hands on his shoulders. If he breathed shallowly and didn't bend too far, it wasn't painful. He stayed frozen in that position while the other man pulled down the shower head and turned the water up to the right heat. The first rush of hot water over his matted hair made him shiver with relief. He hadn't realized how filthy he felt until he could wash, similar to how he felt when he ate dinner. Maybe he was in shock. His lover put the shower head down into the bathwater and squeezed shampoo directly onto his head. He kept his breathing steady but he tensed, anticipating the sting of suds on his back before it could even come. "Relax," Matt murmured, working his fingers into the curly mass. "You'll enjoy this if you relax, I promise. I'll wash your hair again for you when you're back to normal, too. You'll see. It's so nice."

131 The soothing words helped as much as Matt's nimble fingers massaging his scalp. He worked his way through Alex's hair with tender care, making sure to get every bit of dirt and dried blood cleaned away. By the time he stopped, Alex blinked hard, nearly asleep. He might have passed out in the tub if Matt hadn't stopped. "Brace yourself, just in case," Matt said, cupping one hand at the back of Alex's neck. The spray missed his back and most of the soap did, too, but enough escaped the block of Matt's hand that he began to whimper and twitch at every stinging drop as they pattered down his scraped back. Matt murmured to him, soothing, and finally tousled his hair. "Clean," he said. "Now I need to rinse your back once to make sure there's no soap." "Get it over with," he said. Matt held the showerhead far above his skin to lessen the impact, but it still hurt like hell. He made a quiet, aching noise, unable to hold it in. The water shut off and he relaxed. Matt's hands on his arms helped him out of the tub, and his lover toweled him dry. It was less fun than it had been before. Then, more bandages. His eyes were nearly crossing with exhaustion by the time Matt guided him back to the bedroom and helped him lie down. "Think I can collect on that favor?" he murmured, reaching out to brush Matt's face with his fingertips. "Are you sure? You seem tired," he said. "I am," he agreed. "But I'd like to go to sleep remembering how good you make me feel instead of how much I hurt." "Hmm," Matt said. "I can do that." Alex breathed deep and slow while Matt pulled the covers back again. The flimsy boxer shorts he'd put on for sleeping didn't cover much, but he still felt ugly and faintly silly, covered

132 in bruises and bandages. Matt's warm hand cupped him, felt him still soft. He made a soft sound, nearly covered by Matt's purr. "I like it when I can do this," he said. The boxers slid down his thighs easily and Matt climbed onto the bed, leaving the shorts dangling around one of his ankles so they wouldn't get misplaced. He took a short breath, almost a gasp, when his lover bent and took his soft cock deep into his mouth. The sensation was different, sharper, this way. Then nimble fingers pushed up on his balls and Matt opened his mouth wider, straining. He managed for a brief moment to fit all of Alex into his mouth, tongue laving in long strokes over every piece of him. Alex cried out, even though it hurt to move so much. Matt let him go as he began to stiffen. "Love that," he said breathlessly, then bent his head again. "Me, too," Alex said, half strangled with pleasure while Matt's lips slid and his tongue worked. In contrast to the aches of his body, the ecstasy was sharp and insistent. "Going to be quick." Matt hummed around him and Alex clutched at the sheets to keep from bucking up into the vibrations. The other man didn't pull back as Alex filled to complete hardness, instead opening his throat and swallowing rhythmically to keep the full length in his mouth. Alex whimpered, hips pushing in little thrusts against the suction and hot wetness. Matt drew back once, sucking hard and deep, then plunged back down. Alex came with a shout, his body suddenly overwhelmed with pleasure and tiredness. Matt drank him down and only then pulled away. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes dark with desire. "I wish I could," Alex murmured.

133 "Like I said," Matt replied in a deep, nearly hoarse voice. "I really don't mind." **** Alex picked up his cell phone and looked at it. After a night of one-hour naps, Matt had finally surrendered his pain medication, and everything hurt less. He was, in fact, a little drugged out. Matt had gone to pick up his replacement books and he was left to call Kay and handle the deal. He opened the phone and punched in his ex's number. It hadn't changed. "What?" he answered on the second ring. The word came out a little slurred. "I wanted to offer you a deal," Alex said. "For both of us." "That's what your boy toy said," he replied, even harder to understand. "Got fucking stitches in my face, you asshole." "You wouldn't let me leave," Alex snapped. "You hurt me a hell of a lot more than I hurt you. Cracked ribs, concussion, and I'm missing at least a third of my surface skin." "Shut the fuck up," Kay said, rolling it into one word. "Tell me your deal." "Neither of us presses charges for this," he said. "You leave me the hell alone. You leave Matt alone. You don't report us to the dean." "Why?" Kay said. "Seems like I have a good reason to do that." "No, you don't," Alex said, resting his head on the couch. "The security footage will show you attacking me without provocation. You put me in the hospital, albeit temporarily. You'll get fined and have a big charge on your record, if not jail time." The other end was silent but for Kay's breathing. "I don't know what's wrong with you anymore," he said. Maybe taking the painkillers first was a bad idea. "You were never like this. I couldn't have done this to you."

134 "Other things happened, asshole," Kay said, and maybe his voice was tight with something other than physical pain. "Bad things. You weren't there for me." "You left me," Alex sighed. "You wouldn't believe me. You wouldn't forgive me. I couldn't be there for you." "Fine," Kay said. "I'll take your deal. But you leave me the hell alone, too." He hung up. Alex put his head in his hands. Leave it to Kay to ruin his righteous indignation, his sense of justice. Matt wouldn't be back for a while, so he laid himself carefully out on the couch and closed his eyes, though he didn't sleep. They were safe from the dean, at least for the time being. He wished Kay hadn't forced the issue. He wished he wasn't hurt. He wished he and Matt could be public about their relationship, and he wished he could find the right time to say, “I love you.”

135

Chapter Seven "Do you think it's going to scar?" Alex asked, craning his head to look over his shoulder in the mirror while Matt slathered ointment on the last vestiges of his scabs. Most of the new skin was shiny and pink. It looked like he'd suffered burns instead of abrasions, but he supposed it could have been worse. His back and ribs were the only injuries still bugging him after a week. The bruises were mostly faded, though the one on his chin was still a strange color of yellow. "Only for a month or two," Matt said. "It's not deep enough to actually leave permanent scarring. Don't worry, you'll have baby-beautiful skin again soon." "I'm more concerned about looking like a burn-ward escapee," he groused. "So," Matt said, hands sliding around to tweak his nipples. His fingers were still slick and cool with ointment. Alex shivered. "How do you feel about the possibility of carnal activities?" "If you're asking me to have sex with you, yes," he said. "I'm thinking we should still be careful, though. Your ribs aren't right yet and rubbing your back on the sheets won't feel good." Matt rested his chin on Alex's shoulder to look at him in the mirror. His fingers kept petting the other man's nipples. "So that rules out really vigorous sex." "I wonder if I could do a good sixty-nine," he mused. "Shouldn't hurt the ribs and I can be the one on top." "I am not averse," Matt said, trying to sound unaffected, but his voice was hot with desire. "Why don't we go try that out right now?"

136 "We haven't even had dinner yet," Alex said, laughing, but he allowed himself to be led to Matt's bedroom. "I had to look at you giving your first lecture to the class today," he said. "Stared at your ass, your legs, imagined your pretty lips on my dick." "Good to know you're grading me on performance," Alex said, gasping when Matt reached down and rubbed his hard-on through his pants. "I'm good at performance." Matt paused, still holding him intimately in his hand. His breath tickled the back of Alex's ear. Alex reached back and grabbed hold of his hip with one hand, tugging him closer. Matt kissed the curve of his neck, still hesitating. "What is it?" Alex said. Matt didn't speak, but instead kissed him again, this time below his ear. He wriggled in the embrace, trying to turn around, but Matt held him fast. He huffed. "I love you," the other man said. Alex's breath caught in his chest, stealing his reply. "I knew that before I took care of you this week. I can't stand to be without you. I want to spend every minute touching you. I love you too much." "Damn," Alex said shakily. "I was hoping I would say it first. I was waiting for the right moment." "Is that an 'I love you, too'?" he murmured, lips curving into a smile on Alex's throat. "Yeah," he said. "I love you, too." "Let's get in bed," Matt said. All the previous slowness melted away on a tide of hands and kisses. Matt stripped him so fast, he was left wondering what happened to his pants as he struggled with the buttons on his lover's slacks. Matt yanked his own boxers down and carefully tumbled him back to the bed. The

137 press of sheets on his back stung a little, but not too much, so long as they didn't get too vigorous. Warm fingers cupped his balls and rolled them gently, sending small sparks of pleasure through his belly. He looked down the length of their bodies, pale and golden, pressed together, Matt's blonde hair complemented his dark locks. Their cocks pressed together and slid, a perfect fit, like coming home. "Roll over," Alex said. Matt didn't need to be told twice. He toppled onto his back gracelessly with a grin and held out his hands. Alex crawled over him, pausing to kiss him on the mouth before turning to face his dick. He licked his lips and lifted it away from Matt's hip. He stroked once from tip to base, measuring the strong length of flesh in his hand. The intimacy of the touch struck him deeply, leaving him hungry for more. Matt's fingernails traced up his thighs, giving him pause as he bent, but only for a moment. Wet lips touched the head of his cock and slid down the length, pressing a kiss to the base. He sighed and flicked his tongue out to taste the little bead of fluid nestled at the tip of Matt's cock. "Hmm," Matt murmured in pleasure. He opened his mouth and Alex groaned at the sudden heat engulfing him. Matt pressed his teeth down just a little bit, enough to hold but not to hurt. Alex moaned. It was harder to do this than he'd remembered. Matt sucked him suddenly and quickly, drawing a cry from his throat. He curled his lips over his teeth and slid his mouth down over the thick cock on front of him before he could be delayed any further. The musky, salty taste of sweat and man made his mouth water as he slid farther down. The angle was wrong for deep-throating, but he wrapped his hand around the base and stroked as he bobbed his head. Matt's tongue traced a hard line around the ridge at the head

138 of his cock, making him shudder and groan around his mouthful, which in turn prompted the other man to moan as well. Pleasure sparked in an unending circle between them. It had been a week, and a week was a long time to wait. He hadn't even jerked off in the meantime. He felt the tension building in his belly and pulled off of Matt's cock. "Stop," he gasped. Matt made a questioning noise around him, prompting a wild shiver. "I don't want to come so fast." "Then suck my dick," Matt said with relish, as if he had been waiting a long time to find an appropriate time to use the phrase. Alex rolled his eyes, even though his lover couldn't see it. "I bet we could manage fucking if I rode your lap," he said, fist pumping slowly up and down the slick cock on front of his face. He licked the tip again. "I could go deep and slow so I didn't hurt my ribs. Think you could come like that?" "Could I?" Matt said, incredulous at the idea that he wouldn't. "Get up here, then." A little more slowly than usual, Alex turned around and settled himself on Matt's lap. The other man scooted up to brace his back against the headboard and grabbed the bottle of lube from the table. Alex took it from him and opened the cap, smirking dirtily. His lover grinned back and watched him get his own fingers slippery. He reached between his legs and, knowing Matt could feel the brush of his hand on his cock, pushed one inside himself. After time without, the penetration stung a little. He took a breath and let it out. "You don't have to," Matt murmured. "I want to," he replied. The tender, strange feeling of his own fingers inside his body made him shudder. He added another, slowly, twisting to slip the knuckles inside. The stretch made him groan. "One day I want to watch you fuck yourself," Matt said. "Just feeling you is so hot."

139 "Okay," he gasped, bouncing a little on his own hand. "Think I'm ready." Matt slicked himself with lubricant and held his cock steady for Alex. He slipped his fingers out and guided himself down until he felt the slick, hot nudge of naked flesh against his body. He cried out as he pushed down and Matt's dick spread him wide. His breath came in quick bursts as he fucked himself in shallow thrusts. Matt clutched at his hips, guiding him farther down with each movement until, without realizing it, he had taken the full length. "Damn," he gasped. His body burned, ached, but there was also pleasure bursting deep inside him. "Can't go for long." "Don't need to," Matt managed. He drove his hips up, grinding deeper. "I'll be quick." The slide of Matt's dick as he lifted up nearly undid him. The sensation of being one, together, was overwhelmingly good—beyond the sexual pleasure. He dropped back down in a hard motion, drawing a tiny cry from Matt as he surged up at the same moment. He wrapped his hand around his cock and flexed his thighs, bouncing in tight, short jolts. Matt suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders and toppled him onto his back. He raked his nails down the man's back while Matt pistoned his hips, harder and faster, driving as deep as he could. Alex hardly felt the pain in his back and ribs; there was nothing but sudden and consuming fire as Matt poured all of his lust into a last hard lunge as he came, crying out Alex's name. "Don't stop," Alex begged, eyes squeezed shut as he stroked himself. His orgasm was so close, hovering just out of reach. Matt whined high in his throat but kept thrusting, kept fucking, until finally Alex gasped his own climax and came. "God," Matt cried out, shuddering above him as if in the grips of another orgasm.

140 He pulled out while Alex caught his breath. Now that the euphoria had passed, his back was stinging with the sensation of raw scabs pulled too hard. He sat up gingerly and turned to see his back in Matt's dresser mirror. It wasn't bleeding, but it looked red and irritated. He sighed. It was worth it. "Sorry," Matt said. "I just had to have you." "I loved it," he said honestly. "It just stings. Doesn't really hurt." "Dinner?" he said. "Let me clean up first," he said, gesturing to the mess of spunk all over his belly and chest. "But then yes. Dinner." Alex went into the bathroom carrying his clothes and washed up. By the time he made it downstairs, Matt was looking at his laptop's screen with a strange expression on his face. His heart sank. "Tell me that isn't something from Kay," he begged. "Well, it is," Matt said. "But it isn't actually bad. I think he's apologizing in his own very odd way. At least to me, not to you. He's sorry for making a scene and blaming me for you having a new relationship." "So wait," Alex said. "He was jealous of you, not me?" "Apparently, yes," he said. Alex sat down on the steps, overwhelmingly weary of the whole situation. He couldn't reconcile the idea of Kay missing him with the way he had behaved for years. There didn't seem to be any sympathy, any need, any love, left in him. But maybe Alex had been looking in the wrong places and answering the wrong questions. "I'm not sorry I'm with you," he said. "That's news to me, that he still wanted me."

141 "He might not have," Matt corrected. "Not really. He might have just missed loving you. Couldn't let you go, that sort of thing." "But I probably could have made it better, if I had known," he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose in an old nervous habit. "We might not have ended up half killing each other." "Maybe, maybe," he said. "Nothing comes out of maybes. Don't mope." Alex looked up and watched his lover while he walked closer. Matt was beautiful. He appreciated that for a moment, looking over the bright blue eyes, gorgeous blond hair and wonderful body. But that wasn't all there was to Professor Matt Klein. He had a good heart. Alex smiled, though it was a little weak, and stood to take his hand. "Let's eat," he said. "I promise I'll cook tomorrow night," Matt said. "But I think tonight deserves a good restaurant dinner. Because I love you." His face seemed to lighten as he said it, joy clear in his smile. "I love you, too," Alex said, following him out the door. "My car or yours?" **** The sound of a phone ringing roused Alex from a cloudy dream. He fumbled for his cell on the nightstand back at his own apartment and squinted bleary eyes at the caller ID. His heart lurched. It was Kay. "Hello," he said. "I woke you," the other man said. He was quiet for a moment. Alex's eyes began to drift shut. "This is killing me, you know, saying this. But, I'm sorry." "Babe," Alex murmured, half dreaming still. "It's never been your fault. I'm the one who's sorry."

142 "Don't call me that," Kay growled. "Don't call me in the middle of the night," he rumbled back. "God," Kay said with a bitter laugh. "I can't stop fighting with you even when I'm apologizing. You are one frustrating asshole." "Ditto," Alex said, but he found he was smiling. "I forgive you, if it helps." "Yeah," Kay said. "It does. I'll have to get back to you on whether or not I can forgive you. I don't know yet." "It's been a long time," he said. He was starting to wake up a little more. "It has." Kay paused. "Good night, I guess." "Good night." The line went dead and Alex put his phone back on the nightstand. It wasn't easy to go back to sleep, replaying the odd little conversation in his head. Things weren't okay between them and they never would be. He knew that. Maybe it was enough just to know that Kay had finally gotten some sense literally knocked into him. He wished Matt was in the bed with him, but even professors needed to sleep, and he wanted to have some time at his own apartment after spending nearly the whole week with his lover. After a long while staring at the ceiling, he managed to drift back into his dreams.

143

Epilogue Alex collapsed into one of the empty desks. It was still warm from the student who'd just scrambled out of the final class. Matt cracked his back and piled his books into his bag with an air of finality. There was still the official finals week to go in the semester, but for the English department, there were no exams, only final papers turned in at the last class meeting. "Done," he sighed. Matt swaggered over to him, grinned, and bent at the waist to plant a full kiss on his mouth, complete with a little swipe of tongue. He leaned into it and hummed his pleasure. Now that it was over, and he wasn't Matt's TA anymore, they could be as public as they wanted. It might cause a little speculation, maybe a little bit of questioning, but no one could prove they'd been together during their working time. Except Kay, Alex thought with a little twinge, but he'd more or less disappeared off the face of the Earth after his strange apology two months before. "So," Matt said as he wrapped his scarf around his neck and zipped up his coat. "I thought tonight I'd treat you to a nice dinner at the Brewery, get you a little tipsy, and have my filthy, wicked way with you." "I'm okay with that," Alex replied, grinning. "I like your filthy ways." Matt pressed a hand to the small of his back and drew him into a hug. Lips brushed his ear. "Is this a special night?" "Hmm," Alex murmured, shivering. That was their shorthand for “play” nights. "I'd like that, if you want to." "I do," he replied, squeezing him a little tighter for a split second before letting him go. "I think tonight might be a good spanking night."

144 "I agree," he said and gathered up his bag to follow the professor out of the classroom. Despite how enjoyable the material had been to listen to and teach, Alex was glad to hit the lights and leave the semester behind in a dark room. The stress of keeping a relationship secret and balanced with his schoolwork had been nearly unbearable. That was how they'd discovered that a good spanking followed up with good sex could make him relax. Also, he enjoyed it a great deal. Luckily, so did Matt. **** Alex stepped into his apartment and a slip of silky black cloth dropped around his eyes from behind. He went still while Matt blindfolded him, breath already coming faster, pulse speeding. The game had begun. His lover said nothing but pushed him forward. He nearly stumbled and a hand at his elbow guided him roughly to the couch. Another thing they had discovered together: he liked force. Strong hands bent him over the back of the furniture and efficiently undid his pants. A moment of bewildered silence without touch and then he heard the long blinds clack shut so no one would be able to see in. He smiled against the upholstery. Trust Matt to remember the blinds. The smile broke into an open-mouthed gasp, of course, at the sudden slap of suede against his bare thighs. When had Matt put the flogger in the living room? His mind raced ineffectually and his body arched without his permission, anticipating the next blow. It didn't come. He managed to unlock his muscles and smooth himself out over the couch again, hands braced on the cushions and nothing but darkness in front of his eyes. All he had was Matt's touch, the soft crack of the flogger in the air as he reeled back for another slap, then the burn bursting across his buttocks like a wildfire. He let himself cry out, throaty and obviously aroused.

145 "Ten?" Matt murmured. "Yes, ten will do. Count." The next strike cracked across his ass again. "Three," he moaned. Matt's warm fingers traced the red marks and made him shudder with tingling pleasure and pain as they warred for dominion. Matt slapped the flogger across his left thigh and then his right in quick succession, fueling the fire licking at his nerves. The pain melded into one great, perfect mass, from knee to lower back. "Four, five," he said after taking a moment to catch his breath. The same forward-then-backhand slaps across his butt again; one side and the other, immediately. This time Matt grabbed a handful of his sore, tingling bottom and massaged it. The press of his calluses scraped across his aching nerves, but in such a wonderful way. He backed into the touch, while panting, "Six, seven." Matt stepped back. Alex heard the shuffle of shoes that told him only one step, which meant he was winding up for harder spanks. The suede didn't leave welts even at the strongest slap, but it left an aching butt for hours, even days. "Don't scream," Matt warned. He brought the flogger down hard on the already-red, tender surface of Alex's ass. He muffled his noises with his hands while lightning shot up his spine and burned everything in its path. He could think of nothing but Matt and the pain and how hard his cock was. It pulsed with each heartbeat, hungry for touch. "Eight," he finally panted. Another strike, so hard he writhed, landed on his thigh. Matt waited until he had stilled himself and murmured the next number. The last hit him on the buttocks again, softer but still

146 agonizing in the best way. He cried out, shuddering, his legs spread wide and his nerves howling for a gentle touch, for release. Matt pressed up against him, rough slacks abrading his raw skin, and tugged him into a standing position. His head swam for a moment with pain and dizziness. Matt held him up, supporting him carefully until he gave a short nod. Then he guided him down the hall and into the bedroom. Alex crawled up onto the soft bed without being asked. His head was muddled with lust and fire, leaving room for nothing but more, more, more. The first touch of slick fingers to his ass made him shove back with a desperate cry, needing touch. Matt pushed two inside him to the knuckles at once, stretching him suddenly but not too roughly. The force behind the intrusion more than any sort of burn made him gasp and pull at the sheets. Smooth, naked skin slid against his back a moment later as Matt leaned down over him to blanket his shivering, fevered body. "Come as soon as you want," he murmured against Alex's ear. "And brace yourself." He barely gave a moment between the press of his slicked cock and the first hard thrust. Alex flung his head back, straining in every direction at once. His body was caught between the flared pain of Matt's hips grinding against his sore buttocks and the deep, unceasing pleasure of his fucking. Alex moaned continuously, suspended between the two extremes. Matt gave him no time to recover or sort the sensations out. He began to move, fast and hard, hips pumping tirelessly. Alex wailed, letting the sound carry his hunger, his body's ecstatic confusion. Matt bent low over his back and sank teeth into the meat of his shoulder. He screamed, short and loud, rocking on his knees to increase the force of their coupling. Matt groaned against his skin and bit harder, harder, until the bright starburst of pain nearly overrode the wild pleasure of being fucked. Alex came then, blinded and aching with

147 every sort of sexual touch. Matt shoved himself deeper one last time and followed his climax with a cry of his own. "Fuck!" Alex yelled, his dick giving one last twitch. Matt pulled out in a slide that made him spasm again and collapsed backwards onto the bed. He reached up with shaking hands and undid his own blindfold. Matt smiled at him lazily, sprawled out like a fallen god, completely debauched. He smiled back and huddled into the curve of his arm. Matt hugged him and pressed a kiss to his forehead. They lay together for a long time, letting their hearts slow and the sweat cool. The semester was finished; they'd made it. Things could only get better. THE END