THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES Crombie Jardine PUBLISHING LIMITED Office 2 3 Edgar Buildings George Street Bath BA1 2FJ ...
100 downloads
1085 Views
480KB Size
Report
This content was uploaded by our users and we assume good faith they have the permission to share this book. If you own the copyright to this book and it is wrongfully on our website, we offer a simple DMCA procedure to remove your content from our site. Start by pressing the button below!
Report copyright / DMCA form
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES Crombie Jardine PUBLISHING LIMITED Office 2 3 Edgar Buildings George Street Bath BA1 2FJ www.crombiejardine.com This edition was first published by Crombie Jardine Publishing Limited in 2006 Copyright © Crombie Jardine Publishing Limited, 2006 All rights are reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher. ISBN 1-905102-83-6 Written by Michael Powell Cover illustration by Rob Smith Printed by William Clowes, Beccles, Suffolk
2
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
2
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
The Chavster Song, sung to the tune, ‘You Are My Sunshine’: You are a chavster, A filthy chavster, You’re only happy, On giro day, Your mum’s out thieving, Your dad’s drug-dealing, So please don’t take, My mobile, Away. 3
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
3
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What did God say when he made the first chav? ‘Oh shit. Now I’ve got to invent Ritalin.’
4
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
4
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why are chavs like roads? They’re dangerous, covered in white stripes and they’re paid for out of your taxes.
5
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
5
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why are chavettes like margarine? They’re cheap, full of fat and they spread easily.
6
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
6
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why did so many chavs move to Croydon? They heard there were no jobs there.
7
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
7
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How do you know how many chavs are loitering in McDonald’s car park? See how many are missing from the pub.
8
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
8
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s a chav’s idea of foreplay? Rohypnol.
9
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
9
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How can you tell if a chav has a girlfriend? There are two trails of spit.
10
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
10
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Where do chavettes go before sex? Down.
11
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
11
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Where do chavettes go after sex? To the top of the housing list.
12
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
12
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why couldn’t the chav finish a race? He was only good at startin’.
13
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
13
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How many chavs does it take to change a light bulb? Eleven. One to do it and ten to back him up.
14
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
14
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you call a chavette who won’t have sex on the first date? Dumped.
15
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
15
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you call a chav who drives a Mercedes? Michael Carroll.
16
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
16
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you get when you cross a chav with an octopus? Four times more shoplifting.
17
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
17
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s loud and green? A chav with syphilis.
18
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
18
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How do you get five chavs in a Vauxhall Nova? Take one out.
19
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
19
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How does a chavette turn the lights off after sex? She closes the car door.
20
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
20
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do chavettes wear knickers? To keep their ankles warm.
21
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
21
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do Kurt Cobain and a chavette’s hair have in common? Both died badly.
22
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
22
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why did the chav cross the road? To happy slap the chicken.
23
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
23
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How can you spot a pregnant chavette in a pub? She’s drinking for two.
24
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
24
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do chavs tuck their trackies into their socks? So their skinny white ankles don’t blind the Goths.
25
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
25
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s a chav’s favourite computer game? Electronic tag.
26
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
26
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s the best way to kill a chav? Pull his cap over his face and let him drown in his own spit.
27
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
27
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s the best way to sober up a chav? Stop his benefits.
28
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
28
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why are chavs so generous? They’re always giving other people the finger.
29
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
29
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What is the difference between a supermarket trolley and a chav? A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
30
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
30
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you call a quiet chav? A corpse.
31
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
31
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do chavs wear hoodies? Because they’re too pissed for buttons.
32
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
32
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do chav kids get for Christmas? Your bike.
33
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
33
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What are the worst three years of a chav’s life? School.
34
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
34
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Two chavs jump off a cliff: who hits the ground first? Who cares?
35
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
35
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why did god create orgasms? So chavs know when to stop.
36
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
36
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How many chavs does it take to have a bath? Five. One to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.
37
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
37
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
When do chavs shoplift the most? When they’re awake.
38
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
38
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why did the chavette go back to her bedsit? To feed her baby.
39
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
39
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s a chav’s favourite opera? A soap opera.
40
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
40
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do chavettes wash their hair in the sink? Because that’s where you’re supposed to wash vegetables.
41
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
41
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
English Teacher: ‘Wayne, can you tell me what always comes at the end of a sentence?’ Wayne: ‘Innit?’
42
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
42
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How do you get a chav to wear a condom? Put a Nike logo on it.
43
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
43
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do Purley residents go to Croydon car boot sales? To get their stuff back.
44
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
44
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do a chavette and an ice hockey player have in common? They both change their pads after three periods.
45
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
45
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do chavs steal mobile phones? Because they’re too puny to carry plasma TVs.
46
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
46
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do chavs eat junk food all day? So they can take bubble baths at night.
47
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
47
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s the chav equivalent of a fortune cookie? A pop tart with a giro in the middle.
48
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
48
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How many people does it take to bury a chav? One. There is only one handle on a wheely bin.
49
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
49
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why is a chavette like a turtle? They both get fucked up when they’re on their back.
50
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
50
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Did you hear about the minging chavette who had tits on her back? She was ugly to look at but fun to dance with.
51
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
51
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s the best thing a chav can give up for Lent? Breathing.
52
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
52
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How do chavs learn right from wrong? When they’re kidnapped at birth.
53
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
53
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you call an unborn baby chav? Scum in the oven.
54
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
54
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How do you know if a chav has been in your refrigerator? There are fag ends in the butter.
55
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
55
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s the difference between a chav and Batman? Batman can walk into a shop without Robin.
56
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
56
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How did the chavette get her boyfriend to pay her twice as much attention? She doubled her prison visits.
57
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
57
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why don’t chavs like swimming? It makes their jewellery rust.
58
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
58
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s the difference between a chav and a chavette? A chavette has a higher sperm count.
59
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
59
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How can you tell if a chavette is having her period? She’s only wearing one sock.
60
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
60
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why don’t chavettes use vibrators? They chip their teeth.
61
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
61
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do chavettes wear high heels? To keep their earrings off the ground.
62
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
62
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you call a chav with no arms? Trustworthy.
63
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
63
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you call a chav hitchhiker? Stranded.
64
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
64
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you call it when a chavette has an abortion? Crime prevention.
65
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
65
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What does a chavette do with her twat after sex? She takes him down the chip shop.
66
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
66
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do chavs wear white trackies? So they’re easier to run over in the dark.
67
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
67
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you get when you cross a genius with a chav? An idea that hits you for no apparent reason.
68
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
68
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do chavs wear sovereign rings? Because nobody else would.
69
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
69
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you get when you cross a chavette with a gorilla? Who knows? There is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.
70
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
70
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Have you ever seen a chav on Star Trek? No. The future looks good doesn’t it?
71
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
71
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s the best advice you can give a chavette who wants to lose weight? Spit don’t swallow.
72
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
72
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How do you tell when a chavette has an orgasm? She drops her bag of chips.
73
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
73
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why did the chav get arrested for taking off his baseball cap? He committed a bleach of the peace.
74
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
74
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you call a chavette with two brain cells? Pregnant.
75
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
75
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why did the chavette tattoo her postcode on her stomach? So her male would get delivered to the right box.
76
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
76
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s the difference between a chav and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side.
77
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
77
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Which chavs are the luckiest? The ones that are put up for adoption.
78
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
78
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Which chavs are the second luckiest? The ones that are taken into care.
79
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
79
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Walking down a dark alleyway, a policeman discovers a pregnant chavette sticking a coat hanger up her fanny.
‘I’m arresting you for performing an illegal abortion.’ ‘Nah,’ she replies, ‘I’m just trying to pierce its ears.’ 80
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
80
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Where do chavs learn to read? Prison.
81
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
81
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why wasn’t Jesus born in Croydon? He couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
82
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
82
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How do you stop a chav from drowning? Steal his jewellery.
83
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
83
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why aren’t there any Jewish chavs? Because they won’t remove their hoods.
84
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
84
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you get when you cross a gang of chavs with a tsunami? A crime wave.
85
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
85
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do chavs hang around outside McDonald’s? All the prisons are full.
86
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
86
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Where does a chavette go to lose weight? The abortion clinic.
87
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
87
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How did the chav win a good citizen award? He had a vasectomy.
88
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
88
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
The lifeguard at the public swimming pool approaches little Wayne. ‘You’re not allowed to pee in the pool. I’m going to report you.’ ‘But everyone pisses in the pool, innit?’ said little Wayne. ‘Maybe,’ replied the lifeguard, ‘but not from the diving board.’
89
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
89
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do chavs use to play hide and seek? Metal detectors.
90
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
90
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Did you hear about the chav who got into university? Someone left a window open.
91
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
91
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Teacher: ‘Wayne, what’s the longest sentence you can think of?’
Wayne: ‘A life sentence.’
92
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
92
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why did the vegetarian chavette starve to death? She could only afford nine carats.
93
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
93
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How does a chav get his girlfriend pregnant? He waits until she gives birth, then fucks her.
94
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
94
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
1st thieving chav:
The police is here. Quick! Jump out the window. 2nd thieving chav:
But we’re on the 13th floor.
1st thieving chav:
Hurry! There’s no time for superstitions, innit.
95
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
95
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why did the chavette cross the road? Never mind the road, what was she doing out of the chip shop?
96
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
96
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why don’t chavettes like sex in the morning? Have you ever tried opening a cold cheese toastie?
97
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
97
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why don’t they kill chavs at birth? I was wondering the same thing.
98
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
98
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s the one thing that a chav with Alzheimer’s never forgets to do? Cash his giro.
99
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
99
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you call a 300lb chavette? Slimmer of the year.
100
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
100
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How do you know if a chav is a bad father? He lets his 12-year-old smoke in front of her kids.
101
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
101
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How do you remove a chav’s hoodie? Kick his girlfriend in the chin.
102
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
102
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What is the definition of gross ignorance? 144 chavs.
103
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
103
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How does a chav know whether he’s got a high sperm count? His girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
104
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
104
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you get when you cross a chavette with a computer? A system that keeps going down.
105
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
105
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s invisible and smells of Big Macs? Chav farts.
106
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
106
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Did you hear about the bulimic chavette? She stuck one finger in the air and the other three down her throat.
107
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
107
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do chavs drive such crap cars? To give the Goths a sporting chance.
108
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
108
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How do you stop a chavette from smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.
109
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
109
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How do you fuck an ugly chavette? Jerk off in your hand and throw it at her.
110
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
110
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How many chavettes does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to drink white cider until the room spins.
111
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
111
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why don’t chavs have to wait long at the opticians? Their IQs are very small.
112
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
112
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Instructions on a tube of chav acne cream: ‘Apply despairingly.’
113
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
113
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do you do when a chav spits at you? Turn down the grill.
114
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
114
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What do a chav and a diet have in common? They don’t work.
115
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
115
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Did you hear about the chav who streaked at Lords? Wayne stopped play.
116
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
116
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s the difference between a job and a pushchair? You often see a chav with a pushchair.
117
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
117
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do pigeons fly upside down over Croydon? Because there’s nothing worth shitting on.
118
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
118
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Did you hear about the French chav? He got a job so he could go on strike.
119
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
119
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So they aren’t mistaken for chavettes.
120
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
120
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s the first thing a chavette hears when she wakes up? ‘What’s your name?’
121
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
121
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
What’s the difference between a clock and a chav? You can see a clock’s face.
122
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
122
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
How does a chavette get rid of excess pubic hair? She spits it out.
123
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
123
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
Two chavettes in a pub. One says to the other, ‘Your round.’ The other one replies, ‘So are you. Wanna make somefing of it?’
124
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
124
31/08/2006, 11:39
THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES
ISBN 1-905102-33-X, £4.99 125
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
125
31/08/2006, 11:39
ISBN 1-905102-01-1, £2.99
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
126
31/08/2006, 11:39
ISBN 1-905102-20-8, £2.99
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
127
31/08/2006, 11:39
www.crombiejardine.com
The_Little_Book_Of_Chav_Jokes.pmd
128
31/08/2006, 11:39
