Finding Forever

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Chapter One ALEC silently cursed as he stood in front of the mirror and struggled with a silky bit of fabric that would do nothing except remain limply wrapped around his neck. Looking back at him was a young man in his mid-twenties who had the classic features that most people would consider matinee-idol handsome. He had wide-set blue eyes that looked aqua in the right light and full, sensual lips that often parted in a stunning smile. Tonight his chestnut brown hair was gelled into soft spikes that fell over his forehead. The young man struggled with the black strip of cloth for a few more moments before he gave up completely. “Aunt Jo, I can’t get this tie done right,” he finally called out. The posh London accent that floated up to him in reply contrasted sharply with his broad American twang. “Well, come down here, and I’ll see if I can sort it for you.” Alec stepped out of his bedroom and went only as far as the waist-high wall at the top of the stairs before peering down at his aunt, who stood at the foot of the stairs on the floor below. “Aunt Jo, are you sure I need to wear this? Couldn’t I just wear a regular suit and tie?”

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“Don’t be silly, dear. The invitation specifies black tie. You can’t very well look like an accountant who had blundered in from the street,” she said, craning her neck to speak to her nephew. Alec was at his Aunt Josephine’s home in London, a bright, modern duplex in a glass-walled high-rise in the Docklands area of the city. He had been coming to this apartment every summer since he was fifteen. Alec’s parents, John and Fiona, lived in America, and every year between July and August, they would send him to England to stay with his favorite aunt until school started again in September. But this summer was different. Alec was no longer in school, and he had come back to the UK to stay. Alec had completed his degree in the performing arts, and after a series of unsuccessful auditions in New York, he was eager to try out his musical theater talents on the London stage. In the short time that Alec had been back, he’d already had a modicum of success in landing a small role in the The Lion King, but he continued to look for that big break that would make him a star. Although musically gifted, Alec had never considered the performing arts for a career until he discovered musical theater during his first year of high school. He auditioned for a part in his school’s production of Camelot on a dare and never looked back. Alec’s family had been supportive about his career choice, but he was also aware of his father’s expectation that at least one of his children would attend his alma mater and eventually join the family business. Instead, Alec had gone to a performing arts college, and now Alec

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hoped that if he could at least make a living in the theater, he could somehow make it up to his father. Tonight he was escorting his Aunt Josephine to a reception for the opening of a new exhibit at the Tate Modern, just one of the many art museums she supported. Alec loped down the stairs with his jacket in hand and presented his throat to his aunt. “Maybe I should have gotten one of those clip-on ones,” he quipped. “Good lord! Didn’t that brother of mine teach you anything about proper dress for a gentleman?” Jo exclaimed when she saw the mess that Alec had made of his tie. Aunt Jo was in her fifties, a slight woman of Scottish descent who stood only five feet tall, but she had piercing gray eyes that could be used to cow the toughest of men. It was an attribute that served her well in the male-dominated world of investment banking, but it was all behind her now that she was retired—at least, that was what she called the fact that she had lost her job in the subprime-mortgage collapse. In contrast, Alec, at over six feet tall, towered over his aunt and had to stoop in order for her to reach his tie. “There,” she said after a moment, stepping back while Alec shrugged on his jacket. Jo looked on with a wistful smile as Alec settled the garment onto his broad shoulders. “Well, look at you. All grown up,” she remarked. Alec smiled selfconsciously and gallantly offered his aunt an arm as they headed out to find a cab that would take them to the museum.

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The exhibit was on one of the upper floors of the museum, and on the escalator ride up to the gallery, Alec couldn’t help but swivel his head from side to side to take in the cavernous gray expanse of the entry hall. The building that housed the museum had been an oil-burning power plant in its former life, and tonight its distinctly industrial atmosphere looked incongruous with people sedately milling about in formal dress while white-jacketed servers circulated with trays of hors d’oeuvres. “Josephine! Josephine! I was wondering if I’d see you here! You should have let me know you were coming, dear,” a woman trilled at them as they entered the gallery. “Jane, darling! What a wonderful surprise!” Jo gushed when she saw that it was an old friend. After an exchange of air kisses, Jo directed the woman’s attention to Alec. “Jane, you remember my nephew Alec from America. Alec, you met Jane a few years ago when we went to Arundel Castle.” Jane was a woman of a certain age who fought it with every imaginable weapon known to womankind. Her brown eyes were kind, but she looked a bit surprised; her hair was beautifully coiffed, but the flattering shade of auburn was just a little too vibrant. She gave Alec an appreciative headto-toe glance before offering her hand. “Of course, very nice to see you again, Mrs. Granger,” Alec said, shaking her hand. “Oh, heavens, you’re all grown up now. Please call me Jane. My, how time flies!” Jane exclaimed as she stepped back to give Alec another once-over. “Are you over here on business, or are you on holiday?” she asked.

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“Alec’s in theater now, Jane, and he has a part in The Lion King,” Aunt Jo proudly chimed in. “Oh, how exciting!” Jane said as her eyes lit up, and she inched closer in a manner that reminded Alec of a stalking lioness he had once seen on television. “Well it’s only a small part. If you weren’t paying attention, you’d miss me completely,” Alec explained modestly. “Well, I’m sure you’re brilliant, however brief your appearance. Now, you must have some champagne and then come meet my daughter,” she said, flagging down one of the circulating servers. Jane handed each of them a glass; then, snaking an arm around Alec’s waist, she steered them across the room toward a fashionably dressed young woman. “Oh, Mattie! Mattie!” Jane called to her daughter above the din of the guests. “Mattie, you remember Josephine, my friend from school. Well, this is her nephew Alec,” she said when they had gathered in front of a large, chaotically painted canvas. Alec shook hands with a woman who looked not yet twenty-five with large brown eyes and short dark hair that was shot through with magenta highlights. She had a slight indentation under her lower lip where Alec guessed she normally wore a stud but had taken it off for this occasion. Between her thumb and forefinger was a small tattoo of a Celtic knot. “Alec has just come back from America, and he’s appearing this summer in The Lion King,” Jane told her daughter.

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“That sounds very exciting. Are you an actor, then?” Mattie asked with great interest. “Well, I’m trying to be, anyway,” Alec answered. “Mattie, dear. Why don’t you show Alec around the gallery while I steal Josephine away for a good chinwag? We haven’t seen each other in ages,” Jane suddenly said, and she dragged Jo away by the arm. Both Alec and Mattie looked on in surprise as the two older women walked away. Mattie looked at Alec and blushed. “I’m sorry. My mother can be so obvious.” Alec chuckled and said, “Don’t worry about it. So, your mother said you could show me around. I guess you know a lot about this artist.” Mattie laughed uncomfortably. “Well, no. That’s the really embarrassing part. My friend Peter is actually the art expert.” With an awkward wave of her hand, she added, “He went to get more champagne. He’ll be back in a minute.” Alec was about to make a comment about the muddle of colors hanging in front of them when Mattie pointed toward a wall of people across the room. “Oh, there’s Peter,” she said. Turning to where Mattie was pointing, Alec saw a tall man about his own age threading through the crowd with a glass of champagne in each hand. The lines of his jacket showed off his narrow shoulders, and as he made his way toward them, it swung open to reveal a slender waist and a perfectly flat stomach. Alec watched with fascination as the young man coming toward them pivoted around the people impeding his progress with jaguar-like grace.

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“They were out of the French champagne, so I got us some of the California,” he said as he handed a glass to Mattie. “Oh, that’s lovely as well. Thanks. Peter, I’d like you to meet Alec,” Mattie said as she took the champagne from her friend’s hand. The two men unconsciously gave each other a full-body sweep with their eyes before clasping hands in a warm handshake. Alec’s heart started to beat a little faster now that he stood face-to-face with Peter; he noted with appreciation that a very handsome face went with the fit body that had glided toward him from across the room. Peter had deep-set violet-colored eyes and a strong jaw that was balanced by an endearingly, ever-so-slightly crooked nose; his ash blond hair was short but long enough on top to give him an adorable tousled look. A megawatt smile broke across Alec’s face as a little thrill shot up from the pit of his stomach. “A pleasure to meet you, Peter. So, Mattie tells me that you know a thing or two about this artist,” Alec said, waving a hand at the artwork hanging next to them. Peter gave Alec a shy look and cleared his throat before speaking. “Well, yeah. I’ve been following her for quite a while. She came on to the London art scene a few years ago, and she is currently quite controversial for her use of color.” Alec only heard a fraction of what Peter was saying as his mind began to wander. He was mesmerized by the way Peter used his long-fingered hands while he explained the painting, and he loved the way Peter bit his lower lip when he was reaching for a thought. Alec was about to start

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musing about the drape of Peter’s trousers when a voice made him jump. “Well, I see Peter’s found you,” Jane said, suddenly appearing at Alec’s elbow. Alec swallowed and felt a slight warmth creeping into his cheeks as he came back to the present from his mental wanderings. “Err, yes, Peter was just explaining the artist’s use of color,” he said in a flustered voice, hoping that no one noticed he had been staring at Peter. “Well, I’m not particularly fond of this artist, myself. I find her on the whole rather disturbing,” Jane said while wrinkling her nose at the work. Taking Peter by the arm, she started to drag him away. “Peter, dear, I was wondering if you’d come and give me your opinion on a piece I found,” she said, vaguely pointing to a spot behind her. “I can’t make heads or tails of it.” Alec and Mattie stifled a laugh as they watched Jane usher Peter into the next room. “Your mother is quite persistent, isn’t she?” Alec commented before looking down in a sudden urge to check the shine on his shoes. “I’m afraid she doesn’t always approve of my romantic choices and takes a proactive approach. But I suppose sometimes mother does know best,” Mattie said with a flirty glance. Alec shuffled his feet uncomfortably and adjusted the sleeve of his jacket. “Well, I guess we should have a look around. Shall we go find the others?” Alec asked as he led the way.

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They found Peter and Jane deep in discussion in front of an unframed piece of canvas painted with the barest hint of pink and fuchsia. “Well, I think the artist intended to invoke a feeling by using the rough texture of the unpainted canvas,” Alec heard Peter explaining to Jane. Peter saw Alec out of the corner of his eye and smiled but quickly swung his gaze back to the hanging on the wall. “Mum, it’s getting late, and we haven’t seen anything in the other room yet. Why don’t we all go around together?” Mattie threaded her arm through the crook of Alec’s elbow and guided them all toward the doorway to the next exhibit, but Alec begged off before they got too far. “Would you please excuse me? I seem to have lost my Aunt Jo. You all go on and we’ll find you later,” he said before he let the crowd swallow him. Alec took his time looking for his aunt and eventually found her in front of the refreshment table, eyeing the contents of the chafing dishes. “Oh, hello, dear,” Jo said when she noticed Alec at her elbow. “I see it didn’t take long for you to part company with Jane.” “Well, I didn’t want to leave you to wander by yourself. I am your escort, after all,” Alec said with a slight prick of guilt at his conscience. Aunt Jo smiled knowingly. “It’s all right, dear.” Then, in a staged whisper, she confided, “She really is rather overwhelming. It’s best to take her in small quantities.”

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Alec relaxed at this bit of information from his aunt. “Mattie and Peter seem very nice, though.” “Mattie is a very sweet girl, but a word to the wise— Jane’s been looking for a suitable husband for her for ages,” Jo whispered again with a tap of a finger on Alec’s forearm. “Jo, Alec! Well, there you are.” Jane’s voice came from somewhere behind them. Placing a hand on each of their shoulders, Jane gathered Alec and Jo to her. “We are heading over to Vino Vivace for drinks, and we’d love it if you two would join us.” Alec shifted uncomfortably, trying to think of a plausible excuse to extricate themselves from having to spend the rest of the evening with Jane, until Peter spoke. “It’s not far, and it’s a lovely night for a walk. Do come. It’ll be great fun.” “Well, it does sound like a lovely way to end the evening, and I could do with a nice walk. We’d love to join you!” The reply popped out of Alec’s mouth before Jo could say anything. As the little group walked the short way to the wine bar, the young people gradually drifted ahead of Jo and Jane, who hung back in a leisurely stroll. The two older women chatted on about old friends and enemies, while up ahead, Alec exchanged pleasantries with his new friends. “So Peter, how did you get to know so much about art?” asked Alec as they waited outside the wine bar for Jo and Jane to catch up. “I’m an architectural art historian. My specialization is in architecture, actually, but it all goes with the territory.”

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“Peter works for the London Historical Renovations Council,” Mattie helpfully added. “So you approve plans and stuff to make sure it fits in with the architecture of the area?” Alec asked. “Yeah. I do that. I also go out to the work sites to make sure they are in compliance with their proposed plans.” “That sounds very interesting, and what do you do, Mattie?” “I’m a graphic designer for an advertising company, but I’d love to move into fashion work.” Mattie inclined her head a little into a pose that made her look like a flirty teenager. “Sooo, your aunt said you were in The Lion King. What character do you play?” she asked. “I’m the third gnu,” Alec replied with a slightly embarrassed smile. Peter let out a rumble of a chuckle that sent a tingle through Alec. “I’m sorry,” Peter said apologetically, “I wasn’t laughing at you. It’s just not often that those words are used together in a sentence like that.” “Not at all. It really is a bit daft making a living dressed as a singing, dancing gnu,” Alec said softly. The two men locked each other in an awkward gaze until Jane and Jo, coming around the corner to join them, broke the spell. Given the day of the week, Vino Vivace was not especially crowded, and they took a table immediately to the right of the door in front of the expansive window. As one would suspect from the name of the establishment, the decor was Tuscan themed. The walls were a serene shade of sand interrupted by painted scenes of vineyards and olive groves.

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Scattered about the room were groupings of comfortable sofas, club chairs, and low tables. On the left side of the room ran a long bar with a backlit countertop. Behind the bar was a row of wooden framed glass cabinets that displayed bottles of wine connected to a tap system. Above the cabinets were racks that held unopened bottles of wine. As they drank the first bottle of wine, the subject of conversation was the art exhibit. Peter was passionate in his enthusiasm for the painter, Jane was adamant that it was rubbish, Mattie and Jo were unsure, and Alec… Alec only remembered watching Peter as he glided toward him out of the crowd. When they progressed to a second bottle of wine, the conversation veered off to a slightly giggly discussion about the latest celebrity gossip. Alec noted with a pang of jealousy that Peter and Mattie were the perfect foils for each other’s slightly warped sense of humor. So when Mattie and Jane decided to step out for a cigarette while Jo excused herself to the ladies’ room, Alec was more than just a little glad that he finally had some time alone with Peter. “So how do you know Mattie?” Alec finally asked after trying all evening to work out Peter’s relationship with the young woman. “We met at university, in a design class. We became the best of friends after we’d done a project together.” “So are you two… you know?” Alec asked, feeling bit bold after consuming his fair share of two bottles of wine. “You mean are we dating? No, nothing like that. We’re just best mates. Closer even. She’s like a sister. Mattie’s a

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wonderful girl, though—smart, kind, and has a wicked sense of humor,” Peter answered, doing his best to be a wingman for Mattie. Feeling a bit bold himself, Peter leaned in close, nudged Alec with an elbow, and said in a conspiratorial tone, “You know, I think she likes you. I would be willing to bet that if you were to ask for her phone number, she’d probably give you her real one.” The conversation still left Alec clueless about Peter’s sexual orientation, and unfortunately, he was still a couple of glasses of wine short of having the courage to ask the real question on his mind. Alec, however, was sure of his own sexuality; indeed, when he felt the heat from Peter’s flushed face on his own and caught the faint scent of his shampoo, a sudden desire to pull Peter in for a kiss washed through him, and he nearly whimpered out loud. An unbidden erection began to fill his trousers, but his Aunt Jo’s return from the ladies’ blessedly quenched his arousal. “Well, it’s been a wonderful evening, hasn’t it? But I’m afraid it’s getting late, and we really should be going,” Jo said to Peter as she took her seat again. Alec felt the blood in his groin reverse its flow, and he let go of the breath he was holding. Peter looked at his watch and agreed. “Oh my. It is getting on in the evening. Hang on. I’ll just get Jane and Mattie back in here.” Peter twisted his torso around and rapped on the window glass. The two women sitting at the rickety smoker’s table outside, lit cigarettes still held between their fingers, turned around simultaneously; when Peter waved at them to come in, they stubbed them out and got up.

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“Jane,” Jo said as soon as the two smokers came back into the bar, “we really should be getting home. It’s been a wonderful evening. Thank you for asking us to join you.” “Oh, not at all. It’s been wonderful catching up with you,” Jane said as she gave Jo an air kiss. “We must do this again sometime.” “Well, you have the number of my mobile. Give me a ring anytime,” Jo said as she made ready to leave. Alec followed his aunt’s lead. “Peter, Mattie, it was a pleasure meeting you two. Why don’t we exchange mobile numbers and we’ll get together sometime for a pint?” Mattie smiled broadly as she punched Alec’s number into her mobile. “That would be very nice! I could show you some really fun spots,” she said. Alec broke out his megawatt smile again when he exchanged numbers with Peter. When Alec and Jo left the wine bar, Mattie, Jane, and Peter looked at each other and burst into excited giggles. “Oh my God, he is so hot! He asked me if I was your boyfriend. I think he fancies you, Mattie,” Peter said with a twinkle of excitement in his eyes. Mattie punched him in the arm. “Peter, you are so clueless! He fancies you, not me. It’s about time you found a new boyfriend.” “What? Is he gay?” Jane asked, looking even more surprised than normal. Mattie rolled her eyes and explained, “Mum, he’s only been staring at Peter most of the night.” Peter blushed and pretended to check his mobile for messages.

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“Peter, you need to ring him! It’s about time you started seeing someone new,” Mattie insisted and punched him in the arm again. “I don’t know if he’s out. You know what happened last time. He’s going to have to make the first move,” Peter said, slipping her a sideways glance. Jane let out an exasperated sigh. “I think I need something stronger than wine,” she announced, and she got up to order something from the bar.

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Chapter Two FOR several weeks after the reception, although he was working hard in his role in The Lion King, Alec couldn’t stop thinking about the handsome art expert he had met that summer evening. It must have been a dozen times at least that his fingers itched to dial Peter’s number, but he always thought of a reason not to call. Maddeningly, his gaydar was not working when it came to Peter, and Alec was sure he could not bear the humiliation of being wrong. Worse yet, Alec was afraid of being on the receiving end of a homophobic rant if Peter turned out to be the sort to be offended by being asked out on a date by a man. So it was not until early autumn that Alec saw Peter again, and it was by chance. Alec answered an open casting call for a musical version of Cinderella, and he had just finished his audition for the role of Prince Charming when he went around the corner to Cuppa Java, his usual theaterdistrict coffee bar. While standing in the queue to place his order, he noticed a familiar figure dressed in a white T-shirt, jeans, and dusty work boots paying for coffee at the till. Alec felt his heart give a little flip when he recognized it was Peter. He quickly called out, “Peter, Peter!” Peter turned around, looking for the voice and there was no mistaking the owner of the megawatt smile for anyone

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else. “Alec!” Peter exclaimed. “How are you?” he asked, pumping Alec’s hand in a vigorous handshake. “Fine. Keeping busy,” Alec said, suddenly feeling flushed. “What brings you to this neighborhood? This is my regular coffee place, and I’ve never seen you in here before.” “Next guest, please,” the barista interrupted before Peter could answer. They shuffled up to the counter together and continued to talk while the Goth girl working the hissing espresso machines made Alec’s order. “I’m working down the street on the renovation of Gielgud Theater. They started work some time ago, but it’s only today that the Council got around to sending someone down here,” Peter replied. As Alec paid for his coffee, Peter asked, “You say you come here regularly. So you live nearby, then?” “No, I live over by Canary Wharf with my aunt.” Alec inwardly berated himself for sharing that piece of information the moment he said it. “I work in the area. Well actually, that’s not entirely true either. I used to, but not anymore. I’m hoping I will again, though,” Alec blathered on, feeling more flustered by the second as Peter looked at him blankly. “I was third gnu in The Lion King,” Alec explained, “but it was only for the summer. Now I’m looking for other work. The audition is why I’m here. I mean, I just finished my audition, and I came here for some coffee.” Alec bit his lower lip and went quiet. “Oh, right, how could I forget, the third gnu.” Peter grinned, remembering their evening at Vino Vivace. “So what’s the name of the new show?”

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“They’re doing a musical version of Cinderella, and I tried out for the role of Prince Charming,” Alec said, fidgeting at the string on the hood of his jacket. “Prince Charming? I should think it’s right up your alley.” All the while, Peter was staring intently at Alec, absorbing every detail of his face, as if he was analyzing a work of art. The beautiful violet eyes that had made such an impression on Alec those many weeks ago now felt as if they were peering into his very being, and Alec wondered if Peter could hear his thoughts. A moment later, Peter cleared his throat and tore his gaze away. “Well, good luck with that,” Peter said with a shy smile as they stepped outside of the coffee bar. “Yeah, thanks, and good luck with that renovation thing,” Alec answered with a big grin, fidgeting nervously with the string on the hood of his jacket again. Peter ducked his head slightly and quickly said, “Well, bye, then,” before turning on his heels. Alec watched Peter stride away until his jeans-clad bum faded from view. “Stupid, stupid! I acted like a total freak!” Alec thought, knocking himself on the head for good measure. “He probably thinks I’m an idiot!” Then with a sigh, he too turned, walking in the opposite direction toward Covent Garden to catch the Underground home. Alec sipped his drink as he walked along, but the coffee left such a sour taste in his mouth that he chucked it after drinking only half the cup. Alec inwardly groaned when he rounded the corner and saw the large crowd at the entrance to the Underground. Even at the best of times, Covent Garden station was awful,

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because to reach the train, you had to take a lift down to the tracks. He looked at the heavy steel watch on his wrist and decided that at this hour, the other underground stations would not be any better. With a resigned breath, he joined the queue and allowed the crowd to sweep him away. Within five minutes, a train pulled into the station, and he squeezed on with the other commuters. As Alec stood in the packed carriage, he couldn’t help but replay the events of the day in his head, and he became more dejected by the minute as his encounter with Peter crept into his thoughts. Two train transfers later, Alec got off the Docklands Light Rail in as good a mood as anyone would be after an underground journey in a stifling train carriage during rush hour. Aunt Jo’s house was a ten-minute walk from the rail stop, and Alec was exhausted when he finally got home. The comforting aroma of spaghetti Bolognese greeted him as he walked thought the front door, and he followed the scent to the kitchen, where he found his aunt busy cooking the rest of dinner. “Hi, Aunt Jo. I’m home,” Alec said tiredly. “Alec, dear. You look completely knackered! Was the audition all right?” Alec took a seat at the kitchen table and stretched out his long legs. He pressed his palms to his eyes in a weary gesture before answering. “The audition went fine. They told me I’d be getting a callback.” “Well, that’s splendid! I was a little worried because you usually call after an audition.”

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“I’m sorry, Aunt Jo. I got sidetracked this afternoon. But yeah, the audition went very well. I’m just tired. The trip home was horrendous.” Aunt Jo stood behind Alec and gave his shoulders a squeeze. “Maybe you should have a bath before dinner. I’m sure you’ll feel better once you freshen up and have a hot meal.” Alec sighed and got up. “A bath sounds like a great idea. Dinner smells wonderful. Aunt Jo, your cooking would cure the common cold,” he said, giving her a peck on the cheek before going upstairs to the bath. Unfortunately, a bath did little to improve his mood; being alone only allowed Alec to think about Peter again. He lay submerged up to his chin, blowing bubbles in the warm water as he wrestled with a jumble of emotions. The butterflies in his chest and the half-hard cock floating between his legs told him he wanted Peter, but he had acted like a fool. To add to his troubles, the feeling of dread at the pit of his stomach reminded him that he would eventually need to come out to his family about being gay. Feeling overwhelmed, he sighed and immersed his entire head under the water. By the time he popped up for air, he had worked out a plan. He would get his own place before complicating things with a relationship, and he would not stir things up with his family unless he was in a serious relationship. “What I do until then is none of their business,” he decided.

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Chapter Three AS

PROMISED, Alec got a callback to come in for a second

audition for the role of Prince Charming, and a week later, he was back on stage singing with everything he had. Afterward, while they adjourned to make their decision, Alec waited nervously in the front row of the darkened theater with his only competitor. In the seats farther back were people who Alec guessed must be other members of the cast and VIPs. “Hi, I’m Gareth,” said a friendly voice. Alec noticed the older man sitting at the end of the row while he was on stage and wondered if he was one of the show’s backers. “I was here for your initial audition, and I watched your performance today. I think you were fantastic,” Gareth said, handing Alec a business card. “I’m a theatrical agent, and I’d like to represent you.” Alec looked at the card in his hand and smiled at his good fortune. “Wow, I’ve never had an agent before. This is my first audition for a leading role.” “Well, regardless of today’s outcome, I think you’re going places, and you’ll need someone to look out for your interests,” Gareth said.

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“Ladies and gentlemen,” a voice announced from above them on the stage, “we’ve chosen our Prince Charming, and he is Mr. Alec Bannerman. Mr. Cromwell will be our understudy.” A smattering of applause followed the announcement, and Alec shot up out of his seat in excitement but took care to shake hands with his new understudy. Gareth shook Alec’s hand and grinned. “Congratulations! I was right about you!” Gareth glanced at the knot of people up on stage and started to leave. “The director will want to talk you, so I’ll leave you to it. Give me a call, and we’ll get together and work out the details.” Not only did Alec talk with the director, but they introduced him to everyone from the lighting crew to the wardrobe department as well. It was over an hour later when he finally left the theater. As soon as he was sure he was out of sight of anyone from the show, Alec leapt as high as he could, punched his fist in the air, and let out a whoop. He hurried around the corner to Cuppa Java Coffee to reward himself with a large frozen caramel latte and to call Aunt Jo with the exciting news. His jubilation was short-lived, however, as two doors down from Cuppa Java, Alec spotted Peter coming out of the coffee bar. Remembering his mortifying behavior during his last encounter with Peter, Alec nervously ducked for cover behind a parked car. When he was sure that Peter had gone, Alec came out from his hiding place and watched as the handsome art historian ambled away down the street. Peter was dressed in a white T-shirt and jeans again, but this time

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he wore a black safety harness as well, and he carried a yellow hard hat. Alec frankly found the entire effect smoking hot and felt a twitch in his groin as he noticed that the leg straps of the harness emphasized the sway of Peter’s bum as he walked along. Inside the café, Alec got his double caramel latte and sat down at a table in the back of the shop to call Aunt Jo. “Hello? Aunt Jo?” Alec asked when someone picked up his call. “I got the part!” he screamed into the phone a moment later. “Alec, that’s wonderful news, dear! Congratulations!” exclaimed a distant voice. “I am so excited! My first day is tomorrow, and I’ve just met an agent who wants me to sign up with him. I did it, Aunt Jo. I can hardly believe it. I can get my own place now and maybe even a car soon!” Alec prattled on excitedly. “An agent! Well, we have moved up in the world, haven’t we?” Jo said with a tinkle of a laugh. “This definitely calls for a celebration. I’m taking my favorite aunt out for dinner tonight. I need to call Mum and Dad with the news, and then I’ll be home soon.” Taking sip of his latte, Alec looked at his watch and quickly calculated the time difference. He realized that it was late morning in Florida and that his parents were likely out playing golf, but he was too excited to wait until later to call. Taking a deep breath, he hit the speed dial for his parents’ number, and in less than three rings, someone picked up. “Hello, Mum? It’s Alec. I thought you and Dad would be out on the golf course.”

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“Oh, hi, sweetheart. Well, yes we would, except it’s raining,” said a cheery voice on the other end. “Your father’s gone to the golf course anyway so he can hang out with his buddies in the clubhouse.” Alec didn’t always notice it anymore, but after spending over a decade in America, his parents had picked up American speech patterns but spoke with a British accent. “Mum, I have some exciting news! I just landed a part as the leading man in a major musical. I’m going to be Prince Charming in Cinderella!” “Well, that’s wonderful. I suppose you’ll be staying over there, then,” Fiona said with a trace of disappointment in her voice. “Mum, we’ve already talked about this. It’s far easier for me to break into theater here than in New York. There are way more opportunities here,” Alec explained, feeling a little crestfallen. “The fact that I’ve landed such a big role is proof.” “I’m sorry, Alec. It’s just that I can’t help feeling a little sad that you won’t be coming home. But you’re right, this is a tremendous success.” “You’re happy for me, then?” Alec asked, feeling less chipper than a few minutes ago. “Of course, dear. Congratulations! I can’t wait to tell your father the good news,” she said in a brighter voice. “Thanks, Mom. I have to go now. Love you, and give my love to Dad,” Alec said before ringing off. Alec let out a huff before pocketing his mobile. Well, he thought, she’ll be all right once she gets used to the idea.

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After all, she still had his brother Albert and his family in the States to fuss over.

BY

SIX o’clock, Alec and Aunt Jo were enjoying a glass of

Cava while they waited for their main course at their favorite Spanish restaurant. The small family-owned eatery was quite crowded as Alec surveyed the diners around him. It was a comfortably diverse crowd; a middle-aged interracial couple sat at a café table in front of the window, while a small knot of American tourists clung to the corner of the bar, and across the way sat a group of thirty-somethings on a night out. Among the people of various ages, accents, and ethnicities occupying the rest of the tables in the room, the one that drew his attention was a gay couple with a baby pram tucked into a table against the far corner. “Aunt Jo,” Alec asked, “have you ever been in love?” Jo laughed softly. “In love? Darling, you are talking to your spinster aunt.” Alec looked abashed. “Sorry. I just thought….” “No, it’s all right, dear. I have no regrets. I’m happy with my life the way it is,” Aunt Jo said gently. “Actually, I was in love a long time ago, but he was dating my best friend, so I didn’t pursue it. The regret of it is that some years later, after they broke up, I learned that she cared nothing for him at all; he was just a habit. But by that time he had married and had a family.” “But how did you know you were in love with him? How do you know it’s the real thing?”

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“I honestly can’t answer that question. I suppose in my case, only time would have told. But I never got the chance,” she said wistfully. “Now enough of this mawkishness,” Aunt Jo said breezily. “Is this a hypothetical question, or have you met someone?” Alec looked shyly at his aunt and confessed. “Yeah, I kind of met someone. But I haven’t worked up the nerve to ask for a proper date yet. It’s complicated. That’s why I want to know if there’s anything there before I start messing with things.” Jo reached across the table and placed her hand on top of Alec’s. “Darling, life is messy, but unless you are planning to break up a loving relationship, you have to take the chance that it might be love. For heaven’s sake, boy, you’re Prince Charming. Start acting like it!” Jo exclaimed with a light rap on Alec’s hand.

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Chapter Four ON

THE next day and for the next week, with the hope that

he would run into Peter again, Alec went to Cuppa Java Coffee every chance he got, but Peter was nowhere to be seen. A voice in Alec’s head nagged him to call Peter, but he was still not sure if he was ready to face the humiliation if it turned out that Peter was straight. In the end, Alec put his thoughts about the handsome art historian on the back burner and devoted his free time to looking for a flat of his own as he had planned. In mid-November, Alec finally moved into his own place in the Earl’s Court area of London, just a short walk from the tube station on Earl’s Court Road. It was largish flat on the first floor of a converted townhouse. It needed extensive updating, but it had a big bay window that looked out on Redcliffe Square, floors that were beautifully refinished hardwood, and access to a very private back garden. It was just at the start of the Christmas holidays when Alec decided that he was ready to invite his aunt and some friends over for a dinner. Among those that Alec counted as close friends were Gareth and his partner Ian. Since they had first met at the audition for Cinderella, the older man had become Alec’s mentor as well as his agent. Gareth and Ian looked out for Alec as one might a son; on a few

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occasions, they even asked Alec to join them for weekend outings. On the night of the dinner party, Alec had just put out a tray of snacks when he heard a knock at the door; his aunt was the first to arrive. “Hi, Aunt Jo!” Alec said, giving her a peck on the cheek. He took a tray of Christmas cookies from her with one hand and her overnight bag with the other. “Ooh, I’m in heaven. You’ve baked all my favorites,” Alec exclaimed, putting them down on the nearest table so he could put Jo’s things in the bedroom. “I hope you enjoy them, dear. Are you sure you’ll be all right sleeping on the sofa tonight?” “Of course, Aunt Jo. I don’t want you going all the way back to your place by yourself at night, even if you were to take a cab.” Jo hung up her coat on a peg just inside the door and glanced around the flat. “Alec, the place looks wonderful! It’s such a nice change from when you first moved in.” Aunt Jo was right. Before Alec had moved in, the walls were a hideous shade of 1970s avocado green, the kitchen appliances were harvest gold, and the light fixtures were a hodgepodge of styles from the 1960s and the 1970s. Now the walls were a pleasing earth tone; in the kitchen stood modern stainless-steel appliances, and throughout the flat, warm light shone from new fixtures. Best of all, in the course of modernizing the flat, they had discovered a plastered-over fireplace and restored it to a functional state.

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Aunt Jo trailed after Alec as he went back into the kitchen to get more food. She perched on a stool in front of the counter and helped herself to a piece of celery. “Do you remember my friend Jane from school? You met her last summer at that museum reception.” Alec felt a tickle in his solar plexus as Peter came to mind. “Right, she was there with her daughter. Mattie was her name, yeah?” “When I last spoke to her, I let slip that you had landed the role of Prince Charming. Now she’s angling for some opening-night tickets. I told her that I’d at least ask,” Aunt Jo said as she munched on the celery. “Well, I could try. Have you heard anything about Mattie and that friend of hers? What was his name? Peter, wasn’t it?” asked Alec, pretending to grope for recollection. “I don’t know about Peter, but she’s been going on and on about Mattie and the lack of eligible bachelors. I’m sure it’s her way of asking me to tell you to call Mattie.” Aunt Jo had finished her celery and was about to pick up a stick of carrot when she paused. “So how is it for you in the romance department? I seem to recall you had a prospect. Am I going to meet anyone special tonight?” she asked, trying to sound casual. Luckily for Alec, a knock at the door saved him from answering his aunt’s question. Gareth and Ian were the first to arrive, and following soon were some friends from the cast of Cinderella. Cheerful songs and good conversation filled the evening as everyone consumed an amount of alcohol that was just short of

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regretful. When the guests had gone, Aunt Jo helped Alec with the clearing up. “Well, since I wasn’t introduced to anyone special tonight, I assume that you never made that first date,” Jo said as they worked side by side to load the dishwasher. Alec scraped at a nonexistent spot on the plate in his hands before answering. “Well, no, I’ve been waiting for the right time. Like I said, it’s complicated,” Alec said, hinting that he wanted to change the subject. Jane put another plate in the dishwasher before she spoke again. “You know, I just had an idea. You ought to introduce Mattie to some of your new friends from the theater. Jane is constantly complaining about how Mattie meets the wrong sorts of people, and your new friends all seem very nice. She’s even been trying to get Mattie away from Peter. They’re inseparable, and Jane thinks that having him hanging about makes her look unavailable, even if he is gay.” A deafening crash reverberated through the kitchen when a large pot slipped from Alec’s hand and hit the stone floor tiles. “Sorry, Aunt stammered.

Jo.

Wha-what

did

you

say?”

Alec

Jo looked at her nephew with a startled expression. “Good lord, that scared the daylights out of me! I said it would be nice if you introduced Mattie to some of your friends.” Alec swallowed and said in a near whisper, “No, I meant the part about Peter.”

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“What, that he’s gay? I thought you knew,” Aunt Jo said. The room was suddenly spinning, and Alec had to lean back against the counter. “My word, what’s the matter, dear? You look like you’re going to be sick,” she said and guided him into a nearby chair. Alec put his face in his hands. “Aunt Jo, I need to tell you something. It’s about making that first date we talked about.” The tears came before he could go on. “Things are complicated because it’s… it’s Peter that I fancy, not Mattie,” he said thickly. Suddenly more words came tumbling out. “I’m sorry, Aunt Jo. I love you so much, but I can’t help who I am. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Alec choked out before sobbing openly. Jo quickly pulled her nephew into a hug and held him tightly. “Alec, you have nothing to be sorry for. Don’t you ever think that! My dear boy, my poor dear boy, I’ve known you were gay since you were fifteen.” Alec broke from the hug and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “You’ve known all this time? Well, you might have said something. I’ve dreaded this moment for years.” Jo placed a gentle hand on her nephew’s shoulder. “Darling, I had hoped that in the time you’ve spent with me, you could see that your sexual orientation would not make a jot of difference to me, and in any case, it was not my place to say anything until you were ready.”

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He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I suppose you’re right. I guess what I’m really dreading is telling Mum and Dad. Worse yet, Albert. Albert’s going to hate me and tell me I’m going to hell,” Alec said quietly, on the verge of tears again. Jo cast her eyes heavenward. “Oh, don’t get me started on Albert. Your brother has been a royal pain in the arse. He and that wife of his don’t have enough sense between the two of them to get out of the rain.” Jo sighed and then brightened. “Well, never mind them for now. The important thing is that you must let Peter know how you feel. You get me four tickets to your opening, and we’ll sort something out.”

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Chapter Five THE applause was deafening as Alec joined hands with the cast members on either side of him and took another bow at the conclusion of a successful opening night. He grinned when he saw Jane, Jo, Mattie, and Peter enthusiastically waving at him from their box seats. Alec took one more bow before the curtain dropped and chaos engulfed him. The cast whooped and exchanged bear hugs that lifted the shorter members off the floor. Alec was enjoying the party atmosphere, but he also remembered that Aunt Jo and the rest would be meeting him in his dressing room. Reluctantly, he filtered through the crowd toward the quiet of the backstage area. When he arrived at his dressing room, he did a little happy dance; someone had affixed a small nameplate with “Alec Bannerman” in block letters onto the door. Above it, painted in black inside an oval of stylized vines, was the name of his character, Prince Charming. Feeling as if he was in a dream, Alec swung the door open and surveyed the little room. He had been in this room almost every day for the past three months, but tonight was the first time that he felt he belonged in it and really saw it. The walls were a plain white, but brightly upholstered chairs and a warm wood floor relieved the starkness. To the left of the door was a

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wardrobe rack on which hung bits and pieces of costume, as well as Alec’s street clothes. In the center of the wall in front of the door was a brightly lit mirror with a wood-toned countertop that had been fitted with electrical outlets for hair-styling appliances. Tonight a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of champagne, and a bunch of balloons sat on that countertop. Excitedly, Alec crossed the room and examined the cards attached to the gifts. The flowers were from his mum and dad, the champagne from Aunt Jo, and with a flush of butterflies in his chest, he saw that the balloons were from Peter. The noise of people passing in the corridor jolted him from his reverie, and he was reminded that the sender of those balloons was due to come through the door any minute. He quickly removed his stage makeup with a quick swipe of a wet wipe before he started to change into his street clothes. Alec quickly peeled off the tight trousers of his Prince Charming costume and pulled on his jeans. He was still shirtless and barefoot when there was a soft knock at the door. “Hello, it’s me, Peter. Are you decent?” asked a pleasing baritone voice from the other side of the door. “Shit,” Alec muttered. “Just a minute!” he called through the door as he pulled on his socks and shoes. Alec quickly buttoned his shirt and haphazardly ran a brush through his hair; then, taking a deep breath to calm the fluttery feeling in his stomach, he opened the door.

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“Hi, Peter,” Alec said somewhat breathlessly. He looked past Peter’s shoulder and saw that the art historian was alone. “Where are the others?” he asked. Peter tilted his head to one side and shrugged. “Mattie and your Aunt Jo convinced Jane to go out on a hen night. It’s just you and me tonight,” he said innocently. Alec backed away from the door, wordlessly inviting Peter into the snug little room. “Just you and me? Ooh, nearly a proper date,” Alec said, only half-joking. Peter gently door closed behind him with his foot and stepped into the room. “Well, I wouldn’t have brought this,” he said, producing a single yellow rose from behind his back, “if this wasn’t a proper date.” Alec felt his palms getting sweaty at the sight of the flower and did his best to cover his nervousness with his trademark smile. “A yellow rose. Yellow for friendship. That’s very thoughtful of you, Peter. Thanks.” Peter looked down at the floor and shuffled his feet a little. “Well, this being the first date and all….” “Peter, it’s perfect. A yellow rose is perfect, and I like the balloons too. Thanks,” Alec said quietly, suddenly feeling much more relaxed as he took the flower. Searching around for a bit, Alec found a water tumbler for the flower and placed it next to the balloons. Peter grinned and motioned toward the door. “Well, if you’re ready, shall we go?” Outside the theater, Peter waved down a cab. “I thought we could celebrate your debut as leading man in a really cool place.”

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“Mattie said you guys knew some cool places to show me. I put myself completely in your hands.” “This place is literally cool. Ice-cold, in fact,” Peter said mysteriously. A few minutes later, the cab stopped in front of a very modern bar just off Regent Street. Blue light bathed the facade, and blue neon spelled out “Antarctica,” the name of the establishment. Alec recognized the name and broke into a big smile. “I’ve heard of this place. The bar is actually carved out of ice. I see what you mean by really cool.” “You buy tickets for the ice bar part, but ours won’t let us in for another forty-five minutes yet. I suggest we start with a little champagne and something to eat up here first,” Peter said as he held the door for Alec. When they had rid themselves of their heavy outer garments, Peter led the way through an entrance on the left that opened up into a large, softly lit room done in sedate grays and browns. In the center of the room were high café tables and chairs. On every tabletop, high or low, were votive candles set in cut glass holders that glinted like fairy lights. Along the perimeter of the room was a series of plush banquette seats that were just wide enough for two, and each one had a low table in front that was also set with votive candles. Floor-to-ceiling curtains separated each banquette from its neighbor, creating as much privacy as propriety would allow. Alec happily followed Peter as he headed for one of these snuggeries. The butterflies in Alec’s chest stirred again as he slipped into the vacant spot next to Peter on the suede-covered bench. He could feel the heat radiating from Peter’s thigh on

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his own in the close quarters, and as the circulating air carried the familiar scent of Peter’s shampoo toward Alec, the memory of their first meeting came back to him vividly, and once again he felt the overwhelming urge to kiss the man next to him. But tonight there was no doubt and no fear; instead, he savored the excitement of the seduction by inching closer to Peter and gently placing his knee against Peter’s thigh. Alec felt the blood pool in his groin on contact and shifted to relieve his discomfort as he watched Peter do a little shifting of his own, but they continued to observe the niceties of a first date by ordering some food and drinks. “So how did you become interested in theater?” Peter asked after the server left to fetch their order. Alec toyed with the flickering votive candle in front of them. “I’ve always been a bit of a showman. I remember watching that old Bing Crosby movie Holiday Inn when I was five or six years old and got the idea to put on a show in our living room whenever a holiday came around. I even got my brother to join in. But it wasn’t until I was seventeen that I decided to do it for a living. How about you? How did you decide to become an architectural art historian?” Peter leaned back against the cushions of the banquette and rested his elbow on its high back. “It was out of boredom, really. I took an undergraduate degree in engineering but lost interest when I advanced to graduate studies and switched to architecture.” Sadness tinged his voice as he went on. “During the last year of my studies, I met someone, an artist, who got me interested in art history.

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I’m sorry to say that the art history stuck with me, but the boyfriend didn’t.” Alec straightened up and leaned back too; he felt a little squiggle of excitement when Peter did not move his arm away. “I’m sorry to hear that. It’s his loss,” Alec whispered while losing himself in the violet depths of Peter’s eyes. “Well, you know what they say about one door closing and another one opening,” Peter answered softly while holding Alec’s gaze. While Peter was talking, Alec leaned closer by increments to steal a kiss, but he was interrupted when the server suddenly appeared with their order. The comic timing of the situation was not lost on the two men, and they separated in a fit of giggles as they picked up their glasses. Peter raised his glass in a toast. “To Prince Charming, long may he reign,” he said with a big smile. Alec raised his glass in acknowledgement and thought to himself, Here’s to my Cinderfella, before putting the glass to his lips. Their forty-five-minute wait seemed like no time at all as they sat chatting and nibbling. When it was time to go downstairs, Peter led again as they made their way back out to the main entrance. Once in the bar’s vestibule, they turned right and went down a curved flight of stairs lit by tubes of blue neon running along the lower edge of the wall. At the bottom of the stairs was what appeared to be a cloakroom, but it was where smartly uniformed staffers handed out hooded thermal capes for the patrons to wear while they were in the ice bar.

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A woman with short blonde hair and very red lipstick quickly sized up the two men and handed them silvercolored ponchos. Alec grinned, feeling just a bit silly but enjoying it all the same as they slipped the billowing garments over their heads. The ice bar was as advertised, the walls of the room were sheathed in etched glass, but the bar itself and the tables scattered around the room were carved from massive blocks of clear ice. There were more than a dozen people already clustered around the frozen bar when Alec and Peter entered the icy room. Alec pressed ahead and bellied up to the bar while Peter slotted in behind him. When Alec felt the entirety of Peter’s body lean against him, he stiffened and unconsciously canted his hips in the direction of Peter’s groin. Peter answered his nudge with an almost imperceptible grind of his hips; it was as if their genitals were in control of the lower halves of their bodies while the upper halves went on with the formalities of social intercourse. “What can I get you gentlemen?” the bartender asked. “I’ll have a vodka tonic,” said Peter from behind. He had pressed even closer to Alec, and the unmistakable hardness of an erection bumped insistently against Alec’s right buttock. “I’ll have the vodka lemon,” Alec requested with a slight squeak in his voice, grateful that the shapeless thermal cape hid the bulge in his jeans. When the drinks arrived, Peter reached around to hand over the drink vouchers. “C’mon, let’s check out the rest of the room,” he said while ghosting his lips against Alec’s ear,

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a gesture that sent such a shiver through Alec that his nipples hardened. The room was now filled and boisterous with tourists, groups of ladies and lads on a night out, and business travelers on expense accounts. As they threaded through the throng, Alec kept his hands on Peter’s waist so as not to be separated, and when they finally found a spot out of the main flow of traffic, they stood chest to chest, separated by mere inches as they sipped their vodka cocktails. “What do you think? Pretty cool, yeah?” Peter yelled above the noise and loud music that now filled the crowded room. The room was bathed in a surreal blue glow as the house lights were dimmed to near darkness and the glow illuminating the interiors of the blocks of ice that made up the bar became the only sources of light. “It’s brilliant, if a bit daft to come to an ice bar in January,” Alec yelled back with grin, and he inched forward until he was able to curl an arm around Peter’s waist. “I don’t think it’s daft at all. It offers many innovative opportunities to keep warm,” Peter murmured before he caught Alec’s lower lip in a tentative kiss. Alec groaned and melded into the warm body pressing in on him. He savored the lingering taste of vodka tonic on Peter’s lips as his tongue pushed in for a penetrating kiss. The eerie blue light surrounding him heightened the heady feel of Peter’s body enveloping his, and he felt as if he was weightless. He wanted to stay in this blue heaven forever, but all too soon, the music stopped and the lights came on. “Ladies and gentlemen, this concludes your ice bar experience. Please exit to the back of the room, where we will

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collect your thermal capes. Thank you all for coming. We hope you’ve enjoyed yourself!” Alec barely heard the announcement when he broke his lip-lock with Peter. “Feeling any warmer?” Peter asked with a twinkle in his eye. Alec could only smile weakly as they turned and followed the crowd out the exit. The blood was still singing in Alec’s head when they threw their capes into the collection bin by the door and proceeded upstairs. The lounge where they had started the evening was much livelier now as everyone from the ice bar downstairs filed in. Pulsating techno music played as the crowd danced on the small dance floor. Alec caught Peter by the elbow when they were just short of going back into the lounge. “Say, Peter. Y’know, it’s pretty loud in there. Why don’t we go back to my place for a nightcap?” The corners of Peter’s mouth curled in a slight smile. “I thought you’d never ask,” he replied. Alec placed a hand over his heart and added, “I promise I’ll be a perfect gentleman.” Peter laughed. “It isn’t you I’m worried about.” Gently turning Alec by the shoulder, he gestured toward the cloakroom and grandly said, “After you, my prince.” Earlier in the evening, it had been a typically cold January night for London, but now it was damp as well. Alec hopped from one foot to another in an effort keep warm while Peter clapped his hands to ward off the chill as they waited and waited for a cab to come down the street.

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“Feels like it’s going to snow,” Alec commented as he continued to hop. Peter crossed his arms against the chill. “Naw, it’s much too cold to snow,” he countered. “It would be nice, though. It snowed loads when I was a kid. I loved it.” “Really? I take it you aren’t from London. It hardly snows here.” “I’m from the north, a village near the Pennines by the Scottish border.” “From the north? You don’t have any northern accent at all.” “Well, I’ve worked bloody hard on losing it.” Alec wanted to ask Peter why, but something in the set of Peter’s jaw told him to leave it. Fortunately, the two men did not have to stand in the cold much longer, as a cab came cruising by on the opposite side of the street. Alec waved it down, and they sprinted across the deserted street to catch it. In the welcomed warmth of the cab, Peter’s dark mood left him as suddenly as it appeared, and he surprised Alec by taking his hand for the short ride to Earl’s Court. By the time they reached Alec’s front door, a cold drizzle was falling on the city, and by contrast it made the first impression of Alec’s flat even more cozy and inviting. When the front door swung open, the homey scents of candle wax, laundry soap, and floor polish drifted out of the darkened front hall. Alec reached around and flicked the dimmer switch on before inviting Peter in.

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“Wow, nice place,” Peter commented as his eyes tracked around the flat. “Conran’s or IKEA?” he asked, naming London’s two most popular furniture stores. Alec snorted. “Is it that obvious?” “No, no. It’s very nice,” Peter said quickly. “I recognize good design when I see it.” “Well, I’m glad you like it,” Alec said as he hung up their coats. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll get something to warm us up. I have single malt, brandy, or port. What can I get you?” “I’ll have a brandy, please,” Peter called from his perch on the sofa. “Now where were we?” Alec said a few minutes later when he reappeared with their nightcaps in hand. Peter patted the space next to him. “I think you were right here.” Alec smiled and cuddled up next to Peter as he handed him the brandy snifter. They sat in companionable silence until something outside the window caught Alec’s eye. “Look, it’s snowing! I told you it would snow!” Alec said excitedly as he bounded off the sofa and waved to Peter to join him at the window. He heard a soft laugh and felt a warm body pressing up against him. “Hmm, it’s beautiful,” Peter murmured, wrapping his arms around Alec’s waist. “It’s the first time I’ve seen it snow in London. I’m usually here in the summer,” Alec said, relaxing into Peter’s arms.

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“I’ve been living in London for eight years, and I’ve rarely seen it snow. Not at all like where I come from.” “Tell me about where you come from,” Alec asked quietly, not wanting to break the spell of watching the fat flakes quietly falling on the greenery in the square across the street. Peter sighed before answering. “Not much to tell, really,” he said while resting his chin on Alec’s shoulder. “I lived in a little village where we spent most of the time outdoors, a right proper country life. I left when I was seventeen and haven’t been back since. When my father found out I was gay, he tried to beat it out of me. I ran away to a friend’s house in the next village and lived with them until I could get away to university. I’ve been working to erase my past ever since.” Alec wrapped Peter’s arms tighter around himself and said nothing. Alec had heard this story told in a myriad of ways and knew that the best comfort he could give was to just listen. Peter gave Alec a little squeeze before continuing. “You’re lucky your Aunt Jo is cool with you being gay.” “She’s one amazing lady,” Alec said before leading Peter back to the sofa. Now it was Alec’s turn to sigh. “But I haven’t talked to my parents yet. I mean, I think they’d be cool about it too, but you know, it’s still a scary thing.” “Of course,” Peter agreed, picking up his brandy again, “but at least you won’t need to worry about running out of the house in the middle of the night with only the clothes on

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your back. Well, that was a long time ago, and I have a new life now. Here’s to not looking back.” Alec smiled and clinked his glass against Peter’s, hoping that he would have the same strength when he was ready to tell his parents. “What are you drinking?” Peter asked before taking another sip of his brandy. “Single malt from Islay. Want a taste?” Alec answered and held out the glass. Peter lifted the corner of his mouth in a small smile. “Sure, but I’d rather taste it like this,” he whispered and pressed a kiss on Alec’s lips. With a groan, Alec cradled the back of Peter’s head and held him fast. They inhaled deeply, taking in each other’s scent, and fought for dominance as their tongues explored each other’s mouths. When they broke apart, the familiar ache that Alec felt every time he thought of the gorgeous art historian washed over him. “I’ve hardly stopped thinking about you since I met you last summer,” he confessed, nuzzling his face against Peter’s. The familiar scent of Peter’s soap and shampoo brought back the memory of their first meeting and made Alec want him even more. “And I’ve wanted to call you a million times since I saw you at the coffee shop,” Peter said in a breathy whisper. Peter wanted to say something more, but Alec interrupted him with a second kiss that was as sensuous as the first one was passionate. Alec gently nibbled on the bow of Peter’s upper lip, while Peter slowly traced the outline of Alec’s pout with his tongue. Then Peter raised Alec’s hand to

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his mouth and sucked on two of the fingers. Alec threw his head back in a stuttering intake of breath as the wet heat of Peter’s tongue and mouth wrapped tightly around the sensitive pads of his fingertips made Alec think of putting his fingers in a more intimate place. Alec threaded his hands through Peter’s hair and writhed as the crotch of his jeans got uncomfortably tight again. “Peter, I want you,” Alec groaned as he opened himself to Peter’s assault on his senses. He was greedy for all that Peter would give and took what was not forthcoming as urgent hands unfastened, unzipped, and untucked to reach the warm flesh beneath. A trail of clothing followed in their wake as Alec led Peter to the bedroom. Locked together at the lips, they groped, stroked, and twirled in a courtship dance of their own making until they fell in a naked heap across the bed. Alec scrambled to the head of the bed and, starting at Peter’s collarbone, nibbled his way down the smoothly shaved chest to his luscious peach-colored nipples. They hardened as Alec swirled his tongue first around the left and then around the more sensitive right one. Peter sighed, squeaked, and moaned as Alec lightly teethed on the hardened nibs. When he had abused the nipples to a nearly painful state, Alec kissed his way down the soft, smooth skin stretched over Peter’s taut abs until he reached the prize rising out of its soft, curly nest. Peter spread his knees and raised his legs in encouragement. Following the scent of soap and musk, Alec hummed in pleasure and continued to mouth his way down to the right side of Peter’s heavy sack. He smiled in delight

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when his kisses on each of the testicles caused Peter’s scrotum to tighten. When he blew on them with a soft stream of air, Peter’s cock jerked invitingly and dotted his belly with pre-cum. Grinning, Alec reached back into his nightstand and pulled out a condom. After deftly opening the package with his teeth, he unrolled one over the thick cock twitching impatiently between Peter’s legs. Then, moistening his lips with a swipe of his tongue, he opened his mouth wide to take its length. Alec groaned in pleasure as the hot member slid smoothly to the back of his throat. He bobbed his head rhythmically, but at intervals he rubbed the fronts of his teeth on the condom-sheathed glans like an expert judging a string of pearls. Alec enjoyed the way the condom slid easily over the pre-cum-coated purple head underneath the latex and the way Peter cried out in a keening voice each time he did it. Peter bucked his hips greedily, but to no avail; Alec backed off whenever the swell of the cock in his mouth signaled an impending climax. He could hardly bear it as Alec repeatedly brought him to the edge but denied him release. Peter fisted the sheets and arched his back in an attempt to wrest control of his body from the expert mouth and tongue torturing him. “Oh God, Alec! Please, no more, no more. My balls are killing me. I need you to finish me off! Now!” Even without a safe word, Alec sensed that Peter had reached his limit and did the merciful thing. With a few bobs of his head and a little extra pressure around the swollen member filling his mouth, he sent Peter over the edge. Alec pumped furiously on his own rock-hard cock to catch up.

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His balls contracted hard against his groin, and his vision went white as the orgasm washed through his body and shot out his penis. Collapsing into the wet, sticky puddle, he rested while gently holding Peter’s member in his mouth until it became soft. Afterward, when they had tidied up, Alec peeled back the duvet so they could crawl under and cuddle together in its fluffy warmth. Alec let out a contented sigh and gave Peter a soft kiss on the lips. “Mmm, I’ve been waiting ages to give you that blowjob.” Peter smacked his lips and looked puzzled. “You taste like bananas.” Alec laughed. “Do you like it? It was a banana-flavored condom.” Peter raised eyebrows but broke out in a low laugh that set the butterflies aflutter in Alec’s chest. “Banana flavored? And I thought it was my enormous cock that kept you down there.” Alec laughed again. “Well, in this case a banana was not just a banana. The weather is miserable out there. You can stay the night if you’d like,” Alec offered, his expression softening. “Thanks, but….” “Yeah, I know. Sorry, moving too fast,” Alec said, but he thought, You idiot, that was so needy. “No, no need to apologize. I just went through a pretty messy break-up and, you know…,” Peter said gently. “But tonight was fantastic, all of it, and I’d like to see you again.” “I’d like that too,” Alec said with a soft smile.

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Peter got out of bed and, after a little searching, found his boxers. Alec threw on a bathrobe, and together they followed the trail of clothing back out to the front hall, where they lingered at the door as Peter stood in his coat for a long good-night kiss. Finally, when it was nearly time for the last train, Alec watched Peter go down the hall and out the door into the snowy night.

PETER’S feet barely touched the ground as he made his way through the snow-hushed streets of Kensington to the Earl’s Court underground station for his journey home, but at the same time, uncertainty scurried at the at the back of his mind. As the train pulled out, he remembered the bitterness of his break-up with Kyle a year ago and never wanted to be hurt like that again. When Kyle had moved out, Peter set himself a rule that he would never again date anyone who was not out to his family. When the train arrived at his station on the south bank of the Thames, Peter got up with a start from his self-pitying thoughts and quickly got out of the deserted underground station to walk the few minutes to his flat. When he arrived at the front steps of his building and saw a light in Mattie’s front window in the flat below his, he broke into an excited smile. He could hardly wait to tell her about his date with Alec. Peter had barely got out of his bulky winter clothing before he jumped on his computer and sent an instant message to his best friend: Mats are u up? Is it too late to call?

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Mattie answered right away: Still up. Call me and tell all. With a grin, Peter put his headset on and connected with Mattie’s number through his computer. “Hi, Peter,” Mattie said, her voice full of curiosity. “How was your evening with Prince Charming?” “It was wonderful! He’s wonderful!” Peter gushed, and he twirled around in his swivel chair. “We went to the ice bar at Antarctica. We snuck a kiss while we were there.” “Well, you didn’t waste any time, did you?” Mattie said jokingly to needle him. “You don’t know the half of it, sweetheart,” Peter said with a hearty laugh. “Peter, you didn’t!” “Well, duh!” Peter shot back. “We’ve only been mad for each other since last summer! There is such a thing as love at first sight.” Peter blew out a frustrated breath before adding, “The only thing is, he’s not out to his parents. I don’t want a repeat of Kyle.” Peter and Kyle had been in a three-year relationship that started to unravel when Kyle’s mother fell ill with cancer and he started going home regularly to see her. On every trip home, Kyle’s family pushed hard to get him back into the closet. In the end, they heaped enough guilt on Kyle to break him, and he just walked away from the relationship. “Well, he’s out to his Aunt Jo,” Mattie said hopefully. “That counts for something, doesn’t it? Besides, you’ve only

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had one date with him. Just chill and have some fun. Make sure you’re not falling for him on the rebound, yeah?” “Oh, I’m so over Kyle, but you’re right. Hey, girl, it’s getting late. I’d better get to bed.” “Yeah, it’s about time I went to bed too. G’night, Peter.”

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Chapter Six TRAFFIC was light on this sparkling June morning as Peter rode his motorbike through central London to the Docklands at the eastern reach of the city, and within thirty minutes, he was at the construction site where he had been working for the past few months. It was a very complex renovation, and the Restoration Council had made Peter their consultant for the duration. After he checked in with the office, he donned his hard hat and went through to the old warehouse that they were converting into an indoor market with retail shops and restaurants. Over the next few hours, he spoke with the crew about their progress on some changes to the architectural plans. Then, around ten o’clock, a buzz at his hip alerted him to a call on his mobile. “Hello, Peter? This is Alec.” Peter’s face lit up at the sound of the American accent on the other end of the line. “Hey. Hi, Alec!” He glanced around to check for anyone who might overhear the call before saying any more. “I’m really looking forward to this evening. Our six-month anniversary. Hurrah.” “I’m looking forward to tonight too. Anyway, I called because I was wondering if you’d have lunch with me. I don’t

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need to be at the theater until late, and I’d like to see you before tonight.” Peter grinned. He really loved that Alec was a romantic and felt spoiled by the attention. Despite Mattie’s advice, Peter could not help but fall for Alec in a deeper way. Sex had always been red-hot between the two of them, but it both thrilled and frightened Peter that lately it had begun to feel like they were making love. “Lunch and dinner? Now you’re really spoiling me. I’m working in the Docklands today.” Peter offered. “That would work out very well. I’ll meet you there around noon.” Peter told Alec the exact location of the construction site and hung up. At a quarter past noon, a black cab pulled up in front of the construction zone. The taxi driver looked at the welldressed woman with the large designer tote bag in the back of his cab and asked, “Is this the correct location, madam? It looks like it is still under construction.” “Yes, driver, this is correct, thank you,” came the reply from a pair of impeccably made-up lips. The woman settled her fare, gave her blonde hair a quick fluff, and stepped out of the cab. She hitched the bag up on her shoulder a little higher and gingerly picked her way along the rough ground in her high-heeled shoes toward the temporary structure that functioned as the construction office. Behind it was a chain-link fence that cordoned off the construction area. When the woman got inside, the receptionist, Hayley, a

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twenty-something woman dressed in a black T-shirt and jeans with a tattoo around her left wrist, greeted her. “Good morning, madam, may I help you?” asked the receptionist, who gave the Chanel-suited blonde in front of her a quick head-to-toe glance. “Good morning. I’m here to see one of your staff, Peter Leavesley,” the blonde woman said imperiously. “He’s inside the construction zone at the moment. I’ll ring him and tell him you’re here. May I say who’s calling for him?” “Tell him Dorothy is here, dear,” the blonde replied with a haughty toss of the head, taking a seat facing the door. The receptionist gave the blonde a squinty-eyed look before she picked up the phone and punched in Peter’s number. Deep inside the old warehouse, Peter’s mobile vibrated. “Hello, Peter here. Dorothy? I don’t know anyone by that name, and I’m not expecting anyone today.” Peter looked at his watch and huffed. “I’m meeting my boyfriend for lunch in a few minutes. Is she there with you? Right, can you put her on the line, please? “Hello, Miss er….” “Parker, Dorothy Parker,” answered a vaguely familiar husky voice. “Right, yes, Miss Parker, this is Peter Leavesley. What can I do for you?” “Well, I have some business that I can’t discuss over the phone. I simply must see you personally.”

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Peter rolled his eyes but agreed to meet the woman. “I’ve got to go up front to the office. This is probably a good time to break for lunch. I’ll see you guys in about an hour,” Peter told the rest of the crew before he headed out to meet the mysterious Dorothy. Winding his way around piles of old wood, rubble, and wiring, Peter went through the gate in the construction fence and walked to the office, where he saw a rather solidly built blonde woman in a black-and-white Chanel suit. The woman saw Peter and rose to greet him with an extended hand. Peter extended his own hand in greeting, but before he could utter a sound, the blonde pounced on him. Peter waved his arms like a drowning man, and his hard hat clattered to the floor as she tilted him back in a dip and planted a smoldering kiss on his lips. “Dahling, let me take you to lunch,” offered the woman when she set Peter upright again. “Right, right, yes, sure let’s go to lunch,” Peter stammered, still saucer-eyed when he bent down to pick up the hard hat that had fallen from his head during the kiss. Hayley gulped like a codfish at what just happened. She lunged toward the woman and tried to rescue Peter. “You can’t take him with you. He’s, he’s already meeting someone for lunch!” she protested. Unperturbed, Dorothy leaned in close to the young woman and sweetly said, “No worries, my dear. I’m sure you’ll think of some way to explain it to them when… they get here,” she said theatrically as she whipped off her wig.

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“Aarhh,” screamed the girl. When she looked more closely at the figure in front of her, she screamed again, “Aarhh, it’s you! Oh my God, you’re Alec Bannerman.” Hayley looked at Peter and pointed at Alec. “You never told me your boyfriend was Alec Bannerman!” she sputtered. Peter clutched his side in laughter. “Oh God, you had me fooled until you kissed me! Does the theater know you’ve taken their clothes on a walkabout in London?” “Look, I’m a fan of yours, but that was not very nice of you to let me go on like that,” Hayley scolded. “I’m sorry. It was meant as a prank on Peter, not you. Thank you for being a sport,” Alec said, taking her hands in his. Now that he had apologized to the irate young woman, Alec asked, “Do you have someplace where I can change out of these clothes? I’d love to lunch in this Chanel ensemble, but these shoes are killing me,” he added in the voice he had used as Dorothy. Wordlessly, Hayley pointed toward the back office. Alec reappeared a few minutes later scrubbed of the heavy makeup and wearing a pair of ripped jeans with a polo shirt. With Peter leading the way, they strolled over to nearby West India Quay, where they found an out-of-the-way table on the terrace to enjoy the warm summer sun and each other’s company over a leisurely meal. “Happy six-month anniversary, babe,” Alec said, raising his wineglass in a toast while flashing the trademark grin that made Peter weak at the knees.

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“Happy anniversary! And thank you for coming all the way out here for lunch. I know you have a heavy schedule, and I appreciate it.” “It was worth it to see the look on your face. It’s worth even more to see you in a hard hat and jeans. I’ll be thinking about it all day, so save some energy for tonight, when we can celebrate properly,” Alec said seductively. Peter grinned mischievously. “Why wait?” he asked. Reaching under the heavy tablecloth, he ran his hand up the inside of Alec’s thigh and gave his privates a squeeze. Alec jumped but relaxed back into his chair when the warm hand cupping him started to rub little circles on his rapidly swelling cock. Peter quirked an eyebrow at Alec, silently asking if he wanted more. Peter got his answer when Alec nudged at the hand with his groin. The world started to fade around Alec as Peter continued to stroke at the growing bulge between his legs. He nearly moaned out loud when Peter unzipped his fly and freed his engorged member. “Jesus, Pete. We’re in public! You’ll get us arrested!” Alec hissed when he felt cool air hit his hard-on. “Relax, no one can see us. There isn’t even anyone out here today,” Peter said as he curled his fingers around the hardened organ and started stroking it. “Do you want me to stop?” Peter asked as he stroked faster. “Oh God!” moaned Alec under his breath. He gripped the table tightly as he felt an orgasm welling up from the base of his penis.

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“Oops, too late!” Peter said with wide-eyed innocence as Alec dropped his head down and shuddered. “God, Pete, you are positively evil. My trousers are a mess,” Alec complained breathlessly. “I can’t go back to the theater like this!” “Well, I guess Dorothy is going to have make another appearance,” Peter said with a lopsided grin as he wiped his hand on a pocket handkerchief. Alec rolled his eyes as he picked up the bag with the costume and headed off into the restaurant to change his clothes. When he found the restroom, he thanked his lucky stars that it was a single-occupant unisex toilet. A few minutes later, Peter watched as “Dorothy” came walking back to the table. He couldn’t help snickering; Alec had put on the dress and wig but not the makeup. “For heaven’s sake, at least put on some lipstick. You look totally like a guy in drag.” Pete smirked when Alec sat down again. Alec shot his boyfriend a dirty look and took a little mirror out of the bag. He guffawed when he looked into the mirror and noticed a hint of stubble on his face. “It looks like Dorothy could do with a shave!” he said as they both dissolved into a fit of laughter. When they had calmed down again, it was time for Peter to go. “Oh, look at the time. I’d better get back. We’ve got loads more work to finish today. Hey, thanks again for coming out here.”

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“You’re worth it. It was fun for me too. You should have seen how the cab driver kept glancing in his rearview mirror trying to work out whether I was a real woman,” Alec said with a chuckle. “You made his day, I’m sure. He’ll have good story to tell his mates when he gets off work. Are you taking a cab back?” “Well, yeah. I can’t very well take the Underground looking like this!” Alec answered with a chuckle. Peter walked with Alec as far as the nearest taxi rank, where he gave him a quick peck on the cheek and headed back to work.

LATER that afternoon, while Alec was getting ready for the night’s show, Peter called. “Alec?” said a shaky voice. “Peter! You sound awful. Are you all right, hon?” “God, no. It’s food poisoning. I’m completely laid out,” Peter answered weakly. “Oooh,” he moaned, “I knew I shouldn’t have been eating oysters in June. I’m sorry, Alec. We’ll have to cancel for tonight.” “Aw, hon, I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you going to manage alone at home? I’ll come by after the show, all right?” Despite the pain in his gut, Peter managed to smile. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

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“I’ll see you later, then. Drink plenty of fluids!” After the show, Alec quietly slipped out the service entrance and bypassed the crowd at the stage door so he could head over to Peter’s place straight away. He quietly knocked on the door of the flat before letting himself in with his key. “Peter? It’s me, Alec. Are you awake?” he called quietly as he closed the door behind him. When he got no answer, he crept quietly to the bedroom and gently opened the door. A slice of light from the hallway fell across the bed and onto its occupant. He saw that Peter lay with the covers thrown off and gently tucked him back under; then he settled on the bed stroked Peter’s head, smoothing his tousled hair back into place. “Hmm? You’re here. What time is it?” Peter rasped in a barely audible voice. Alec carded his fingers through Peter’s hair. “It’s past ten. How are you feeling?” “Like shit,” Peter replied with a snuffle. “How was the show tonight?” Alec continued to play with Peter’s hair as he talked. “It went all right. We had some cast changes, though. A couple of people were out ill. How was your day?” “Well, Hayley got over her encounter with ‘Dorothy’ and told the rest of the crew what happened. We all had a right laugh,” Peter said. Alec gave a little chuckle as he remembered Hayley’s face when he pulled off his wig. Then he stroked Peter’s

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cheek with the back of his hand and said, “Have you had anything to eat? Do you want some tea and toast?” “No. Mattie came by earlier and gave me some broth. I just want to sleep.” Leaning down, Alec placed a gentle kiss on Peter’s temple and whispered, “You go back to sleep, and I’ll be out on the sofa tonight just in case you need anything.” “You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine,” Peter weakly protested. “I want to. Now go to sleep,” Alec said, placing a kiss on Peter’s hair. Peter sighed contentedly and went back to sleep. It was when Alec crept quietly out of the bedroom that he spotted it—on the table in the entry hall was a single red rose lying alongside a card addressed to him. Recalling the yellow rose of friendship Peter had given him on their first date, he melted as he grasped the significance of the flower. That night, Alec couldn’t have been happier as he fell asleep on the sofa knowing Peter returned his affections.

THE next morning, Peter woke to the sound of clattering in the kitchen. He felt limp and sluggish, but at least the pain in his stomach had gone. It took all the willpower he could muster to get out of bed. When Alec heard the bedroom door open, he looked up from the tray he was preparing. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”

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“I’ll feel better once I’ve had my morning coffee. It’s getting late. I’ll just grab something on the way to work,” Peter replied while absentmindedly rubbing the stubble on his unshaved face. “Oh no. No way,” Alec said emphatically. “You are going straight back to bed!” “Alec, I’ve loads to do. I really have to go to work.” “By the looks of you, you can hardly stand up. Now go back to bed.” In truth, Peter knew Alec was right and meekly went back to bed after he had used the toilet. A few minutes later, Alec came into the bedroom holding a breakfast tray and the morning paper tucked under his arm; he noted happily that Peter was snuggled under the covers again. “Ah, now, that’s better!” he said as he set the tray down. “Voila! We have porridge and fruit for brekkies, and I’ve put some honey in the porridge. My mum says it settles the stomach.” Alec poured Peter some tea and continued to talk. “Since it’s Wednesday, I don’t have show tonight, so I can stay with you today. If you’re good, we’ll go somewhere tonight.” “Look, Alec, please don’t go to all this fuss. I’m not a child who needs looking after. I don’t expect you to spend your day off hanging about the flat.” “I’m glad to do it,” Alec said firmly as he poured himself a cup of tea. Then, with mug in hand, he settled down on the bed next to Peter. “Besides, this is really quite nice. I could

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get used to this,” he said as he unfolded the paper with a snap of his wrist. “What? Me getting food poisoning and puking up for hours?” Peter asked facetiously. Alec gave Peter a shy glance and said, “No. I could get use to this: taking care of you, having breakfast with you.” Peter smiled and enjoyed a flush of butterflies in his chest as he tucked into his porridge.

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Chapter Seven “HEY, babe, come take a look and tell me what you think,” Peter called from the front room, where he had spent the last hour decorating the Christmas tree in Alec’s flat. It stood in the space in front of the bay window that looked out at Redcliffe Square, and its bright lights made the natural pigments of the carved giraffes on the nearby shelf and the big painting of an African woman in tribal finery on the wall to the left seem subdued. A lot had happened after Peter’s food-poisoning episode. When Alec spent the night, even though it was chaste, he inadvertently fast-forwarded their relationship from seeing each other to being significant others, and they were both perfectly happy with it. By November, Peter was spending most nights at Alec’s, and they tossed around the subject of moving in together. “I’ll be there in a minute,” a voice called back from the kitchen. Peter walked the few steps that separated the front room from the rest of the flat and peered into the kitchen to see what was keeping Alec. What he saw was Alec standing next to the sink wearing a long white chef’s apron and busily stirring something in a large mixing bowl.

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Peter quietly crossed the threshold and stepped in close to curl his arms around Alec’s waist. He ground his pelvis playfully against Alec’s behind and peeked over his shoulder. “What are you making?” Peter asked. “It looks awful.” “It’s a Christmas pudding. It looks awful because it isn’t cooked,” Alec replied as he picked up the next ingredient. Peter made a face as he watched the suet go into the bowl. “Our puddings always came in a plastic tub. It never looked like that.” “You’ll all love it. It’s one of my Gran’s recipes,” Alec assured him. “And it’s also the tradition that you stir the pudding and make a wish,” he said, offering Peter the spoon. Peter rested his chin on Alec’s shoulder. Reaching around, he took the spoon and gave the pudding a cursory poke. “There, I’ve made a wish. Now will you come out and look at the tree?” he asked before giving Alec’s earlobe a nibble. Alec ducked his head away from the tickling sensation. “Stop it. You’ll make me lose track of the recipe,” he complained, taking the spoon back. “The sooner I’m done here, the sooner I’ll be in to see what you’ve done with the tree. Now get outta here,” Alec said, and he nudged Peter away with his hip. Peter relented but stole another nibble on Alec’s earlobe before he left the kitchen. A few minutes later, Alec went to join Peter in the front room, where a cozy scene greeted him. In the gathering gloom of the late winter afternoon, the tree glowed brightly, and a fire crackled away merrily in the fireplace.

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Peter was sitting on the floor reading a magazine and drinking eggnog; his long legs were stretched toward the fire so he could enjoy the toasty warmth on his stocking feet. Alec studied him for a moment to take in the cute way Peter sucked on his lower lip as he swallowed the creamy drink. “Good job on the tree, hon. It’s beautiful!” Alec finally said to announce his presence before strolling over to take a seat on the floor too. Peter gave Alec a little peck on the lips and held out the glass of eggnog for Alec to share. “Thanks, I’m glad you like it. I think I did a splendid job with this year’s theme, even if I say so myself.” The golden lights of the tree sparkled off crystal ornaments of all sorts hanging from the branches. There were a couple of high-end crystals from Waterford and Swarovski that Alec had inherited, but mostly they were little treasures they had bought on their rambles through the street market on Portobello Road in the Notting Hill district of the city. The two of them sat in companionable silence, sharing eggnog and admiring the tree, until Peter let out an audible sigh. “You all right?” Alec asked. “Christmas is so bloody depressing. I was just thinking about Christmas as a kid and how I haven’t seen my family in years,” Peter answered, taking a swallow of eggnog. Alec kissed him on top of the head. “You have me and Aunt Jo. You’ll see. We’ll have a splendid Christmas.”

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“Don’t you miss your family at this time of year? I’m surprised they haven’t asked you to go back to America for Christmas,” Peter commented while staring into the fire. Alec guiltily avoided looking at Peter. “I’d much rather spend Christmas with you.” “They’ve asked you, haven’t they? But you said no because you’re avoiding them,” Peter said in an accusing voice. Alec grazed Peter’s cheek with a finger and gently said, “Just give me some time.” Peter nodded a little and gave Alec a thin-lipped smile. “Sure, just don’t take too long, okay?” Alec pulled Peter into a hug. “Peter, please believe me. I really will tell them.” Luckily for Alec, before the conversation got even more uncomfortable, the kitchen timer sounded. “That’ll be the pudding,” Alec said, picking himself up off the floor. Peter watched as Alec went back into the kitchen and hoped that he hadn’t made a mistake by breaking his own rule about dating someone who was not out to his family. The delicious aroma that followed a clatter from the kitchen enticed Peter to investigate. “Perfect!” declared Alec when he fished the pudding basin from the pot. Proudly showing his creation to Peter, he boasted, “See? My Gran’s recipes never fail.” “Ooh, that’s lovely.” Peter appreciatively inhaled the aromas of nutmeg and cinnamon, the quintessential scents of Christmas.

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“Now we’ll let this cool a bit before we drizzle some good whiskey onto it, and we’ll have a top-notch pudding for next week’s Christmas lunch at Aunt Jo’s,” Alec said brightly. Peter caught Alec by the waist and hugged him tightly. He nuzzled his head into Alec’s hair and decided to forget about the touchy subject of Alec’s parents and just enjoy Christmas.

A

FEW days later, Aunt Jo called. “Alec, I just got off the

phone with your mother. She has a surprise for you, but I thought it would be best to give you some warning. She and your father are coming for Christmas.” Alec tried to talk, but his throat felt paralyzed, and he couldn’t make his lips form any words. “Alec, did you hear me? I said your mum and dad are coming to London for Christmas,” Jo enunciated loudly. “Uh, yes, yes, Aunt Jo, I heard you.” Alec gulped. “Shit. They aren’t coming to stay with me, are they?” “No. They’re staying with me, but it doesn’t solve your problem.” Alec let out a long, unhappy breath. “Alec, you know you can’t hide over here forever. You’re going to have to tell them eventually. If not for your sake, for Peter’s,” Aunt Jo sternly told him. “Well, I could tell them the next time I see them. Maybe next summer. Peter and I could act like we’re just friends when we’re over at your place,” Alec said in desperation.

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“Alec,” Aunt Jo sighed, “that’s for you and Peter to work out. But you know what’s right. They’ll be here in three days, so you had better come to some kind of decision.” “Okay, thanks, Aunt Jo. I’d better let Peter know.” “Let Peter know what?” Peter asked as he came in from the front hall with a load of shopping. “Oh, that was Aunt Jo. She was calling about Christmas lunch. She wanted me to remind you that… that… she wanted us to come over early so we could help.” “Oh, right, that shouldn’t be a problem,” Peter said before taking the shopping bags into the kitchen. Alec huffed and ran his hand through his hair, regretting that he had just lied to Peter. Alec followed Peter into the kitchen and tried to sound casual. “Hey, Pete. There was something else Aunt Jo said on the phone.” “Oh? What’s that?” Peter talked as he worked to put away the groceries he had just bought. “Well, she said my mum and dad were coming to London as a surprise,” Alec said hesitantly. “That’s wonderful! We’ll have a proper family Christmas. It is wonderful, isn’t it? I will get to meet them, right?” Peter asked apprehensively when Alec stared at him dumbly. Alec shoved his hands into the pockets and hunched his shoulders. “Oh, of course you’ll meet them. I was just thinking, though, maybe we should play it cool.” Peter’s eyebrows shot up and disappeared into the fringe of hair on his forehead. “Play it cool? I don’t understand.”

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“Well, here’s the thing. I’m not sure I’m ready to tell them about us yet, and I thought it might be easier if they got to know you first,” Alec said uncomfortably. “You mean you want me to pretend that I was your friend and that we were both straight,” Peter said icily. “Well, just this once. Just for now. I promise I’ll tell them everything once Christmas is over,” Alec pleaded. “Alec, I will not hide who I am. If you can’t give me that dignity, then we are done,” Peter said hotly. He stomped out to the front hall and grabbed his coat. “I’ll come back for my things when I get some boxes, so you needn’t worry about your parents knowing I even exist,” he spat out and turned to leave. “Peter, wait, wait. I will tell them about us. Please give me some time. Come on. Of all people, you should understand how difficult this is.” Peter closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Look. If you need time, then I’ll give you time. Call me when you’re ready,” Peter said quietly, and he pulled the door shut with a thud as he walked out. Alec collapsed against it and slid to the floor. “Shit, shit, shit,” he yelled to the empty flat. He sat there until his legs went numb.

THE trip to Aunt Jo’s for Christmas lunch was dreadful. This must be what a condemned man feels like on the way to the gallows, Alec thought. Not only did he not want to speak to

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his parents, but he was also terrified of what his aunt might do to him when she found out about Peter. “Alec!” Aunt Jo said cheerfully when she answered Alec’s knock, but in the next moment, her face fell as she saw that her nephew was alone. “Where’s Peter?” she asked warily. “He’s not coming,” Alec said shamefully in a small voice. Aunt Jo stepped out into the corridor and shut the door behind her. “What do you mean, he’s not coming?” she whispered harshly. “What happened?” “He’s not coming. You haven’t said anything about Peter to Mum and Dad, have you?” “No. Well, yes. I told them you were bringing a guest.” “Shit. I’ll make some excuse. Look, Aunt Jo, I don’t want to talk about it right now. Could we just get this over with?” Alec pleaded. Jo said nothing and rolled her eyes before leading him into her flat. “Alec, I have a surprise for you,” Jo announced loudly for the benefit of John and Fiona, who were in hiding somewhere in the flat. When Alec’s parents heard Aunt Jo, they popped out from the kitchen and yelled, “Happy Christmas!” The cheerful greeting reminded Alec of exactly how unhappy he was, and to everyone’s surprise, he burst into tears. Fiona rushed forward and hugged Alec to her. “Oh,

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darling. There, there, it’s all right. We miss you too,” Fiona soothed. Alec quickly wiped the tears with the flats of his hands and sniffled. “Thanks for coming, Mum, Dad. This is such a surprise. How long are you going to be here?” “We’re staying until after New Year’s, but don’t worry, we won’t be a nuisance. We’ll be staying with your Uncle Hamish in Edinburgh. He’s invited us to spend Hogmanay with his family,” John answered. “But before we leave, we’d love to see you in Cinderella,” Fiona said. “I’d love for you and Dad to come! There’s a show later this week. I’ll see what I can do about getting you some tickets,” Alec said, feeling a little more chipper now. In the excitement of their reunion, neither John nor Fiona noticed that the expected fifth guest was missing until they sat down at the table and noticed the extra place setting. “Are we just four today?” asked Fiona. “I was looking forward to meeting one of Alec’s new friends.” Jo spoke up before Alec started tearing up again. “Well, it was only a rather remote chance that he could come today. Let’s get this party started, shall we? Wine, anyone?”

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Chapter Eight ALEC waited until Boxing Day, the day after Christmas, to tell Aunt Jo what happened between him and Peter. Aunt Jo was none too pleased about the way Alec had handled the situation, and she reminded him that breaking up with Peter only put off the inevitable. Now it was the second day after the ordeal of Christmas lunch. Alec still felt like a right git, and matters were made worse by the fact that he was late getting to his agent’s office. He had a stack of photographs to sign and an even larger stack of fan mail to go through before he could meet his parents for a day at the British Museum. Alec took the stairs to Gareth’s office two steps at a time and arrived out of breath. “Hi, Alec,” Gareth’s office manager said when he came through the door. “The photos and your mail are all over there,” she said with a tilt of her head toward a small table in the corner. The old but solid table stood against a wall hung with dozens of photos of Gareth’s clients. Among the faces of upand-coming talent were a few nationally well-known performers. Undoubtedly, Alec was among the nationally famous because of his success as Prince Charming in the musical version of Cinderella in the West End, and now that he had taken on the same role in the Cinderella Christmas

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special for BBC television, international fame as well.

he

was

poised

to

gain

“How’s Peter doing? I haven’t seen him in a while,” Katie asked conversationally as she watched Alec sign photographs. Alec looked up from his work and sighed. “I don’t know how Peter is doing. He and I are taking a break from each other.” “Oh no, really? Aww, I’m sorry to hear that, and at Christmastime too.” Alec was about make a comment about his wreck of a holiday when Gareth popped his head out from his office. “Hi, Alec. I’m glad you’re here. I was going to ring you today. Do you have time to stay and talk about some advertising work that a Japanese firm would like you to do?” Gareth continued to talk as he joined them in the reception area. “Well, I’m meeting my parents later. You can talk to me while I do these,” Alec answered, indicating the pile of photos. “Oh, are your parents in town? If I’d known they were coming, I would have gotten them some tickets to a couple of shows.” “Yeah, I wished I’d known they were coming too,” Alec said wryly. “You could still do them a favor, though, and get them into my show this week.” While Gareth talked, Alec made quick work of the photographs. He was about to start on his fan mail when his mobile rang.

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“Hang on. This might be Mum,” said Alec, stopping Gareth in midsentence. But rather than displaying his mother’s number, the screen on his phone read UNKNOWN CALLER. “Hello, is this Mr. Bannerman, Alec Bannerman?” asked the voice at the other end. “Yes,” answered Alec uncertainly as he wondered how an “unknown caller” had got hold of his private number. “My name is Andy Bell, and I’m the emergency response coordinator for the London Renovations Council. I’m calling because you are the designated emergency contact for Peter Leavesley. I’m afraid there was an accident at one of our construction sites, and Peter was injured.” With his heart racing in his chest, he asked for clarification. “Wait, wait, I’m sorry. You said there was an accident. Was Peter badly hurt?” “I’m afraid so. A scaffold collapsed, and several people were taken to hospital. I expect the hospital hasn’t called you yet because they have their hands full. We don’t know about Peter’s exact condition, but we do know they’ve taken him to Charing Cross A and E.” “Right, thank you for calling. I’ll get over there right away.” Visibly shaken, Alec told the others, “I’ve got to go! Peter’s been in an accident, and they’ve taken him to Charing Cross Hospital.” “Wait, I’ll go with you,” Gareth quickly volunteered. “Was he badly hurt?” “Yes, he was, but I don’t know anything beyond that,” Alec said grimly.

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Down on the street, they quickly caught a cab, and when they arrived at their destination, they saw a chaotic mix of flashing lights, ambulances, police cars, and television news vans jamming the street near the hospital. “Gawd,” exclaimed the cabbie, “it looks like there was some kind of disaster. It must be that accident that was just on the radio. I’ll drop you out front, shall I? You two don’t look like you need A and E.” Alec was close to hyperventilating and was in a wideeyed daze as they drove past the scrum of vehicles in front of Accident and Emergency. As soon as the cab came to a halt in front of the hospital, he bolted out of the cab and was at the reception desk even before Gareth had paid the fare. “I’m looking for a patient who came in from the accident. His name is Peter Leavesley,” Alec said breathlessly. The bespectacled man behind the counter typed into his keyboard a bit and answered, “Ah, yes he was admitted a short time ago. But I have no information for you regarding his location or his condition.” Alec had tied down his panic by the thinnest of threads since leaving Gareth’s office, but this delay was too much for him to bear, and he exploded at the poor man. “Well, someone must know! You get on that phone and find out!” he yelled. The man was about to answer when Gareth appeared and placed a steadying hand on Alec’s shoulder. “Alec, I’m sure they’re taking care of Peter in the best way possible. Just sit tight and we’ll hear something soon.”

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Then, turning to the receptionist, Gareth calmly said, “Sir, my friend is understandably very upset. Please tell them that we’re here and let us know as soon as you get any information on him.” “Of course, sir. I will need to update Mr. Leavesley’s records. He doesn’t seem to have a next of kin listed. May I have your name, please?” “Bannerman. Alec Bannerman,” Alec answered in a calmer tone. ”Mr. Bannerman, if you would take a seat, I’m sure it won’t take long.” “Thank you,” Gareth said with a tug on Alec’s elbow. “Come on, mate, let’s have a seat over here and let them do their job, yeah?” Alec drew a shaky breath and allowed Gareth to lead him away. Taking a seat, Alec lowered his head and let the tears flow. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him, Gareth.” Gareth handed Alec a handkerchief and calmly said, “Everything is going to be all right. Charing Cross is one of the finest injury hospitals in London. He’s in good hands here.” After what seemed like ages, a silver-haired woman in her late fifties in a white coat and carrying a clipboard came out to the waiting area. “Mr. Bannerman?” Alec looked up and quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Mr. Bannerman, I’m Dr. Marsden. I’m sorry for the delay. The injuries from the accident have us a bit overloaded. Are you Peter’s family?”

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“I’m Peter’s boyfriend. We’re the only family he has,” Alec answered, gesturing to Gareth. “Well, Peter was taken to surgery as soon as he was brought in, and he is now in intensive care.” Alec felt his guts twist as he listened to the doctor. “He was seriously injured, but he’s in stable condition,” she continued in a reassuring voice. “What sort of injury has he?” Alec asked apprehensively. Dr. Marsden flipped through her clipboard and recited, “Well, he’s got major chest trauma and some internal injuries, but the good news is that he’s able to breathe without a respirator despite his chest injuries.” Alec scrubbed his face with his hands and let out shaky sigh. “Mr. Bannerman, we’ll take this a step at a time. Peter’s condition is stable, and that is indeed good news. They’ll let you see him for a few minutes once he’s settled in,” Dr. Marsden said as she got up to leave. Then, as an afterthought, she added, “Strictly speaking, we can only allow immediate family to visit in the ICU, but just tell them that you’re there to see your partner.” “Yeah, I’ll do that,” Alec said quietly. “Thank you.” Alec and Gareth approached the nurse’s station nervously when they exited the lift from the main floor below. As they got closer, Alec could see that the rooms were a series of glass-fronted cells arranged around a central command center. Currently an efficient-looking woman who reminded him of his mum ran it.

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“I’m here to see Peter Leavesley,” Alec told the nurse. With a quick look at her computer screen, she answered, “Peter is in room three, but I’m afraid I can only let immediate family see him.” Alec glanced at Gareth. “I’m his partner,” Alec said as confidently as he could while bending the truth. Gareth nodded. “I’ll wait for you downstairs. Do you want me to call anyone for you?” Alec was too distraught to care and just shook his head. “What is your name, dear?” the nurse asked. “Alec.” “Now, Alec, I can only let you stay a few minutes, all right? He’s heavily sedated. We want to keep him as quiet as possible.” A heartbreaking sight greeted Alec when he entered the room. Peter was pale and still and barely breathing. An intravenous line was taped to the back of his hand, he wore an oxygen cannula, and, less visibly, he had a catheter for his bladder. Wire leads connected him up to monitors that blinked eerily in the dimly lit room. Alec bit his lip to keep himself from sobbing as he walked anxiously toward the bed. He wanted to gather Peter up in his arms and never let him go, but he looked so fragile lying there that Alec was afraid to touch him. “Peter?” Alec said softly in a quivering voice. “It’s me, sweetheart. It’s Alec. Can you hear me? Are you awake?” With a tentative hand, he brushed back a lock of Peter’s hair as he waited for a reply. The only indication that Peter was aware of Alec was a slight roll of the head and an almost

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imperceptible breath that sounded like the mew of a weak kitten. “Peter, I’m here. You’re going to be all right,” Alec said, swallowing the lump in his throat. Alec enveloped Peter’s good hand in both of his and tenderly kissed it. He repeated, “You’re going to be all right,” as if saying it again would make it so. Suddenly, an alarm went off. Alec inhaled sharply and bolted in panic to look for a nurse. “Nurse, please, an alarm is going off in here!” Alec exclaimed as he frantically waved to the nurse at the monitoring station. The woman at the monitoring station calmly got up and came to Peter’s bedside. Glancing at the monitor, she said, “No worries, dear, it’s his oxygen monitor.” At the same time that she fiddled with the sensor clipped on Peter’s finger, she said to him, “Give us a deep breath, love. Peter, can you hear me? Try and take a breath. I know it hurts, but you have to try.” With a faint moan, Peter complied, and within a few breaths, the insistent beep of the monitor stopped. Meanwhile, Alec had turned white as a sheet and sat down heavily in a nearby chair. Alec supposed that he looked as bad as he felt when he became vaguely aware of the nurse checking on him. His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton as he heard her ask, “Are you all right there?” When he felt a hand pushing at the back of his neck, he jerked and smacked the hand away.

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“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Alec said, looking a little wild-eyed. “You startled me,” he explained as he watched the woman rub the spot where the smack had made its mark. He was about to apologize again when he heard a faint, “Psst.” When Alec heard it again, he jerked his head toward the sound and saw Peter feebly beckoning to him. Within two steps, Alec was at Peter’s bedside. “You’re awake,” Alec said with a very wet smile. Peter caressed Alec’s face and wiped away the tears that streaked it with a thumb. “Sssh,” he said, trying to return Alec’s smile. Alec covered Peter’s hand in his and pressed into the caress with a kiss. The nurse quietly appeared next to Alec and slid a chair behind him. “I can let you stay just a little longer, dear,” she said as she handed him a box of tissues and left the room. “Hi, gorgeous,” Alec said with a sniffle. “You gave us quite a scare today.” Peter looked at Alec with heavily sedated eyes and soundlessly mouthed, Sorry. Alec wiped his nose with a tissue and stared at Peter wordlessly until he started to cry again. “I’m sorry about everything. I… I… just don’t know what I’d do without you,” he choked out before his words ended in a little hiccup of a sob. “Sssh,” Peter said again, and he ran his thumb along Alec’s chin before tapping him on the nose with his forefinger. “Yeah, I love you too,” said Alec, wiping his eyes. A soft rap on the glass wall at the front of the room interrupted

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them. It was the nurse, and she indicated that it was time to leave by pointing at her watch. “They want me to leave so you can get some rest,” Alec told Peter in a hushed voice. Peter fluttered his eyelids to signal that he understood; then, slowly raising his hand to his mouth, he kissed two fingers and touched them to Alec’s lips. Alec accepted the kiss by catching Peter’s hand. “Sleep tight. I’ll see you tomorrow, love,” Alec whispered. He continued to hold Peter’s hand until the sedatives took him into sleep again. When Alec stepped out of the lift from intensive care, he felt as wrung out as a wet dishrag and was in a daze when Gareth rushed over. “How is he doing?” he asked. “Weak, very weak. They have him heavily sedated. I was only able to spend a few minutes with him,” Alec answered brokenly. Alec gratefully accepted the hug that Gareth gave him, but it was of fleeting comfort as his friend pulled away and quickly switched to business mode. “Whilst you were with Peter, I made a few calls. I shifted your appointments to next week at least, called the theater to let them know you can’t make this week’s performance, and I told your Aunt Jo what happened. I suppose she’ll think of something to tell your parents,” Gareth recited in a voice thick with emotion. As Alec numbly started to walk toward the exit of the hospital, Gareth trailed after him and continued to talk. “Ian is getting off work soon, so I can ask him to come ’round with the car to give you a ride home. But seeing as you

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haven’t eaten all day, I suggest we get something to eat before we drop you off.” “Yeah, fine, thanks, whatever you think is best,” Alec said, not really listening and feeling utterly lost. The next morning, Alec’s doorbell jarred him awake, and it took him a moment to realize where he was. Bleary-eyed, he shuffled down the hall to answer the door. “Gareth. What are you doing here?” Alec said, squinting into the daylight. “Good morning. I thought I’d come by bring you some breakfast,” Gareth announced as he handed Alec a paper sack. “Did you sleep in your clothes last night?” Gareth asked when he noticed Alec’s rumpled appearance. Alec yawned and ran a hand through his mussed-up hair. “Yeah, I fell asleep on the sofa,” he admitted. “Come on in.” “The accident is all over the news,” Gareth remarked as he followed Alec into the kitchen. “They say that it was a three-story plunge when that scaffold collapsed. Peter’s lucky to be alive.” The remark sent a chill through Alec. “That’s something I don’t want to think about,” he replied as he peered inside the sack that Gareth brought. Alec fished out a cup of coffee and gratefully took a sip. “I’m going over to the hospital after I get cleaned up. I don’t have any appointments today, do I?” Alec asked, feeling a bit foggy. “No, I moved them to at least next week,” Gareth answered patiently.

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“Yeah, right. You told me that yesterday.” “Before I go, do you have anything that needs doing? How are you fixed for food?” Alec put his coffee down and audibly exhaled, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. “God, I dunno. Maybe you should just poke around in the fridge and see if I need anything. Here, take this in case you need it,” Alec said and handed Gareth an extra key from a hook beside the kitchen door. “Will do, and make sure you eat before you go,” Gareth instructed as he watched Alec go into the bathroom. When Alec arrived at the intensive care unit, he found a petite young woman sitting at the monitors. “I’m here to see Peter Leavesley. How is he doing?” The young woman looked at her notes and answered, “Well, he had a quiet night, but he started running a temperature this morning.” “A temperature? You mean he has a fever. It that serious?” Alec asked apprehensively. “Not necessarily. Fever is very common with injuries of this sort.” Alec felt a sinking feeling grip his gut again. “Can I still see him?” “Yes, but we may ask you to leave if he becomes too ill.” This latest development was nearly Alec’s undoing, and he needed to pause at the door to Peter’s room to compose himself before going in. Alec’s first look at Peter was shocking; by all appearances, he had taken a turn for the worse. Peter’s hair clung limply to his damp forehead, his

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eyes were vacant and glassy from fever, and the pillow he clutched to his chest to ease the pain of his broken ribs made him look small and lost. “Hi, beautiful,” Alec said cheerfully. “How are you feeling today?” “Hurts,” Peter whispered listlessly. Alec placed a soft kiss on Peter’s clammy forehead. “It’ll be better soon. I promise,” he said gently. “Your accident has made you famous, Gareth says…. ” Alec stopped talking when he noticed silent tears rolling down Peter’s face. “Oh dear. What is it, love? Are you in pain? Do you want me to call someone?” Alec asked softly as he dabbed at Peter’s tears with a tissue. “It hurts, everything hurts,” Peter said piteously. “I feel absolutely wretched,” he sobbed weakly. “Oh God, I’m going to be sick!” he gasped. He just managed to grab the emesis tray on his bed table before he vomited into it. Alec held him until the heaving stopped and rang the call bell after he lowered Peter back onto the bed. The nurse, a blond-haired young man with a closecropped beard, appeared shortly. Alec looked up from wiping Peter’s perspiration-soaked face and explained in a concerned voice, “He’s just been sicking up, and he says he’s in pain.” “It’s the fever,” the young man said matter-of-factly. “We’ll see if some ice and a cool cloth would make him more comfortable. He’s not due for another pain injection for a while yet. Let me check with his doctor to see if we can give him another dose ahead of schedule.”

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The young man left with the soiled tray and came back with a cup of crushed ice and a wet cloth. “We’ve paged the doctor about getting you more pain relief, okay? Hang in there, yeah?” he said to his patient. Pointing to the ice, he instructed Alec, “Just give him a little bit at a time. It should help.” Alec lifted a chip of ice on a spoon to Peter’s lips, but Peter turned his head away like a toddler refusing his food. “No, don’t want it. Gonna be sick again,” he moaned. “Peter, open your mouth, hon. It’s just a little ice, it’ll make you feel better, I promise. Do it for me, please?” Alec cajoled. Peter eventually gave in, but he kept his eyes shut as Alec dropped the morsel of ice into his mouth. While Peter sucked on the ice, Alec began to sponge him with the cool cloth. “The news on TV reported that you fell three stories. Do you remember what happened?” Alec asked as he began to gently press the comforting cloth over Peter’s face and neck. “Not exactly. I only remember hanging from my safety harness until I blacked out. I was lucky,” he answered almost inaudibly. “We were both lucky,” Alec said quietly, pausing to feed Peter another bit of ice. A little later, the nurse came back into the room. “Fasten your safety belt and get ready to fly, mate. Dr. Marsden says we can give you your next dose of pain medication now,” he announced. “This should help you to breathe easier too.”

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When the drug hit his system, Peter let out a sigh and started to drift away. Alec stroked his fever-dampened hair and murmured, “I’ll be right here when you wake up.” Peter looked at Alec with half-closed eyes and asked, “How was Christmas lunch?” Alec looked down at his hands. “It was horrid. I missed you. Peter, I’ve been an idiot,” he told him, but when Alec looked up, Peter had already fallen asleep. Alec had been watching over Peter for a while when Dr. Marsden quietly appeared next to him. “Ah, very good, Peter’s asleep,” she whispered. “We’ll let him rest. Meanwhile, do you have any questions for me?” she asked Alec. “Is Peter going to be all right? He’s not doing very well at all today with this fever,” Alec fretted. “The fever is a natural reaction of his body to his injuries, and all we can do is to try to keep his temperature down. We won’t know if he has an infection for another fortyeight hours, but we have him on antibiotics as a precaution. Otherwise, all his tests show that he’s doing well under the circumstances.” Alec scrubbed his face with hands and said dejectedly, “It breaks my heart to see him like this.” “It takes time, Mr. Bannerman. Be patient. We’ll have him home to you soon,” Dr. Marsden said in her most reassuring voice.

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ALEC continued to sit with Peter until he was asked to leave because it was time to give Peter some required care. Alec waited nervously in the visitors’ lounge until the nurse who had tended to Peter earlier in the morning came to speak with him. “You look as if you could do with a break. We’ll be with Peter for a while. Why don’t you go get something to eat? We have a restaurant as well as a canteen on the second floor,” he suggested. “We’ll let your partner know where you’ve gone. I’m sure he’d like you to look after yourself,” he added kindly. Alec nodded. “Well, I could do with a cup of tea, I suppose,” he told the nurse, and he left for the hospital canteen. Alec was still feeling quite out of sorts from his morning visit with Peter, and the smell of canteen cookery put him off, so he went instead to the café he’d seen on the first floor, where he sat down with what appeared to be a passable cup of coffee and switched on his mobile to check for messages. A missed call from Gareth was the first message in the queue, and Alec returned it right away. “How’s Peter doing?” Gareth asked with a voice full of concern. Alec sighed. “Peter’s having a rough morning. They had to give him a shot for pain. He was asleep when I left. I’m on a break because they needed to work on him.” “Work on him? Is he all right?”

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“Yeah, they just need to do some routine things with him while he’s hooked up to all that equipment,” Alec said wearily. “It would do you good to take a couple of hours’ break. Why don’t I come collect you and we’ll get some lunch?” Gareth offered. “Thanks, but I… I don’t know if I’d be very good company. Besides, I don’t want to leave Peter for too long.” “I could come over there. We can get something to eat in their canteen,” Gareth countered. Alec was too exhausted to put up any more resistance, but idea of eating in the canteen made him queasy. “They actually have restaurant on the second floor. I suppose we could go there,” he finally said. At lunch, Alec picked at his food self-consciously as he felt Gareth watching his every move. “So, how are you, Alec?” Gareth asked with a delicate cough. Alec gave him a long look before answering. “I’m fine,” he said. When Gareth seemed unconvinced, Alec started to nervously play with his glass of water. He rotated the glass a couple of more times between his hands before he spoke again. “Well, I guess I’m not really fine. I’m very tired and I’m very, very frightened,” Alec answered, his voice trailing off in a quiver but he cleared his throat and went on. “I’ve never seen Peter so helpless before. He’s usually so steady, so strong, but this morning he was actually sobbing in pain. I’m usually the one who needs looking after. When I worked late,

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he made sure I ate.” Interjecting a small laugh, he added, “When we partied, he made sure I got to bed. My life doesn’t run without him.” At that moment, it dawned on Alec that Peter had become part of him. “I’m going to do it,” Alec said as if he was talking to himself. “I’m going to tell my parents about us. I just hope Peter will have me back.” “He will. He will,” Gareth assured him. “You know that Ian and I stand with you if things get difficult with your family.” “I never doubted that. Thanks,” Alec said with an appreciative smile. Gareth let out a deep breath and checked his watch. “I’d better go back to the office. I’m meeting with a new client. After the meeting, my diary is clear, just give me a call if you need anything,” Gareth said as they got up from the table and headed toward the lifts.

BACK up in the intensive care unit, Alec stopped at the desk to let them know he was back. The nurse who reminded him of his mum was manning the desk again. “Did you have a nice lunch, dear?” she asked. “It was all right. A friend met me in the restaurant downstairs. May I go in to see Peter now?” “Well, dear, he’s had a rather hard morning, hasn’t he? It’s best if we can keep him as quiet as possible. I can let you have five minutes with him.”

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Alec gave a quick nod to show that he understood and headed for Peter’s room. To his relief, Peter appeared to be sound asleep, and his color had improved from a few hours ago. He looked far more comfortable now that they had bathed him and changed his perspiration-soaked hospital gown. Alec entered the room as quietly as possible, but when he reached the bedside, Peter gave a little cough and opened his eyes. “Hey, babe. How are you feeling?” Alec cooed as he stroked Peter’s cheek with the back of his hand. “I still feel like puking, but if I keep perfectly still, it’s better,” he replied in a barely audible voice. “They don’t want me to stay long,” Alec murmured as he gave Peter a kiss on the top of his head. Peter closed his eyes and stuck out his hand for Alec to take. “That’s fine. I really feel like crap. I just want to sleep.” Alec kissed the back of Peter’s hand. “All right, sweetie, I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you,” he told Peter. Gently tucking the hand back under the covers, Alec quietly left the room.

ALEC collected his car from the hospital car park and spent the rest of the afternoon driving around aimlessly. He wrestled with how to tell his parents that he was gay and that he had found the man of his dreams. He ended up halfway to Bristol before turning back; it was early evening when he was back in his flat.

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Heaving a sigh, he took off his jacket and decided that he might feel better after a shower. A few minutes later, he came out of the bathroom, dressed only in a towel and with his hair still dripping, to find Gareth and Ian standing in the front hall. “Alec, you’re home! I’m sorry, we should have rung the doorbell first,” Ian said as he set down an armload of groceries. “Oh, no, no. Not a problem. I should have phoned to let you know I’d be home early. You wouldn’t have had to come all the way over here,” Alec said apologetically. “I take it Peter’s doing better if you’re home early,” Gareth asked hopefully. Alec rubbed his temples and scrunched his eyes shut against the headache that had taken hold. “No, he was actually having a very rough day, and they wouldn’t let me stay with him.” Now that Gareth and Ian were here, Alec was glad to have some company. “Well, since you’re here, why don’t you two stay for dinner? We’ll order some pizza.” Ian and Gareth nodded enthusiastically at the suggestion, and the three of them were soon in the living room eating pizza and sharing a bottle of red wine. They watched a DVD as they ate their dinner, and by the time they were done, they were into the second movie of the night. As the evening progressed, everyone became more relaxed. Alec stretched out on the sofa, while Gareth sat on the floor with Ian’s head in his lap.

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Alec decided he would rest his eyes for a few minutes during the movie, but the next thing he was aware of was Gareth shaking him by the shoulders. “Movie’s over, mate. Time for bed,” he heard Gareth say through the fog of a half-sleep. “Yeah, sure,” Alec mumbled in reply, but he could not bring himself to move. He stayed on the sofa, drifting in and out of sleep, vaguely aware that his friends were cleaning up but too exhausted to get up to help. The last thing he was aware of before becoming completely dead to the world was a warm blanket settling on him.

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Chapter Nine “DAMN, this is getting to be a bad habit,” Alec muttered to himself when his mobile went off and he found himself waking up on the sofa again. He groped for the phone attached to his belt and pressed it to his ear without looking. “Hullo,” he grunted. “Hullo yourself, grumpy,” Aunt Jo said from the other end. “How’s Peter doing?” “Oh, hi, Aunt Jo,” Alec answered in a bleary voice. “He’s still in intensive care. When I saw him yesterday, he wasn’t doing very well, so they made me leave,” Alec said soberly. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m sure he’ll be getting stronger every day,” Aunt Jo said encouragingly. “Alec, I called because your parents are wondering what’s happened to you. I’ve been keeping them busy, but you should call them, dear.” Alec lay down on the sofa again and ran a tired hand across his face. “I will, Aunt Jo. I’ll call them today.” In the next breath, he said, “Aunt Jo? Remember when I asked you about love? Well, I think I figured out the answer, and I’m going to talk to Mum and Dad.”

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“I’m glad to hear that, sweetheart,” Jo said warmly. “They love you very much. I’m sure everything will be all right. Love you, dear. I’ll talk to you later.” After speaking with his Aunt Jo, Alec took a deep breath and dialed his mum. “Hello, Mum? I’m fine. About the other day… I’d like to get together with you guys to talk about why I didn’t meet up with you. I’ll come over to Aunt Jo’s for lunch. Yeah, love you too, Mum.” Despite his exhaustion, Alec hadn’t felt this good since before Christmas. He showered quickly and headed across the city to see how Peter was doing. “Ah, Mr. Bannerman! Peter is doing much better today,” the woman at the monitoring station said cheerfully when he stopped at the nurse’s station. “If his temperature remains normal today, we may move him out of intensive care tomorrow.” “You don’t know how happy I am to hear that.” Alec was so relieved that he nearly winked at the nurse before he hurried to Peter’s room. Peter’s face lit up when he saw Alec, and he held out his arms for a hug. Gently gathering Peter into his arms, Alec murmured, “Peter, Peter, Peter,” softly and reverently, as if it were a prayer of thanks. “I’m here, love. I’m here,” Peter answered, emotion straining his already frail voice. “You were so weak, I was afraid you were slipping away,” Alec said thickly, and he held Peter even tighter, but when Peter suddenly started to gasp for breath, Alec let go of him as quickly as a man burned by a hot iron.

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“Oh God, did I hurt you?”

“No, no. It’s okay,” Peter wheezed. “I just lost my breath, that’s all.” “Maybe some water will help. Can I get you some water?” Alec asked anxiously. Spotting a cup on the bed table, he picked it up and offered it to Peter. “Here, how about some of this? It should help.” “Ugh, that’s some kind of vitamin drink, but it’s vile,” Peter said, making a face. “You should probably drink it, vile or not.” Alec waved the cup in front of Peter, who turned his head away and empathically said, “No, I can’t.” “All right, how about some of this? It’s just some jelly,” Alec offered as a compromise. When Peter nodded, Alec spooned a bit of the fruit-flavored gelatin between Peter’s lips, and he continued to feed Peter until most of it was gone. Alec put the spoon down and picked up the cup again and coaxed Peter into giving it another go. “Ugh, it’s still vile. You try it,” Peter said after he tried the mystery beverage again. Alec shrugged and took a sip. Peter made a wheezing noise in a facsimile of a laugh when Alec made a face and quickly put it back on the table. “Blech, it tastes like coffee made with grass,” Alec declared in a voice that made Peter grin. Taking Peter’s hand, Alec said, “It’s so good to see you smile.” “Well, I’m feeling much better than yesterday,” Peter said. “You know, you don’t have to stay long. I’m really all right,” he added.

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“I want to. Besides, Gareth’s already cleared my schedule.” “It’s not that. I don’t want you wearing yourself out. You look shattered,” Peter whispered, already tiring from the brief visit. “It’s not me you should be worrying about. I’ll go when you go back to sleep. Now get some rest,” Alec told Peter gently before he gave him a kiss on the forehead.

A

LITTLE later, after Peter had fallen asleep, Alec went over

to Aunt Jo’s to meet his parents as he had promised. He nervously knocked on Jo’s door and was relieved that his parents were still out. “God, Aunt Jo, look at me. I’m shaking like a leaf. I’ve rehearsed this speech a million times since I was seventeen, and now I feel like I don’t know what to say.” “Why don’t you begin by explaining to them why they haven’t heard from you for the last three days?” Jo said gently. “If it’ll make it easier for you, I can leave. I’ve made everyone some lunch, and you can all just help yourselves.” “No, I’d like you to stay. I may need someone here who’s on my side.” John and Fiona arrived at Jo’s flat a half an hour later, and the family sat down to lunch. While Fiona and John enjoyed their meal and talked about their morning’s activities, Alec played with his food and felt as if he might be sick at any moment. Finally, when Jo started to serve the

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cheese course at the end of the meal, Alec knew that it was time he got on with it. “Mum, Dad, I want to apologize for disappearing on you a couple of days ago,” Alec began as Jo discreetly slipped out of the dining room with a few of the dishes from the table. “Someone I care a great deal about was in an accident,” Alec started to say with a slight tremor in his voice. “I had to go to the hospital to be with him”—Alec cleared his throat before continuing—“because I was listed as his emergency contact.” Fiona wrinkled her brow in concern as Alec spoke, but John was poker-faced. “His name is Peter, and I’m his designated emergency contact,” Alec said lamely. Clearly not understanding what Alec was trying to say, Fiona said, “Oh dear, it sounds serious, is your friend going to be all right?” “He’s still in intensive care. But Mum, what I’m trying to say is”—Alec took a deep breath and said quickly—“I’m gay, and Peter is my fiancé.” In the awkward silence that followed Alec’s hurried announcement, there was a sound of crashing crockery, and Aunt Jo came running in from the kitchen. “When did you two get engaged?” Jo asked excitedly. “Gay! I knew it!” boomed his dad. “Gay! Alec, you know that we love you no matter what, but are you sure?” Fiona asked loudly, adding her voice to the cacophony. “One at a time,” Alec yelled. “One at a time!” Alec spoke when a stunned silence fell over the little group. “Mum and Dad, yes, I am gay. I’ve known that I was different since I was ten.” Alec’s composure began to fail him,

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and he continued tearfully, “Dad, I know I’ve already disappointed you by going into theater. If being gay makes you want to shun me, I’ll understand. I love you very much, and I wouldn’t want to hurt you for anything in the world, but I can’t lie to you either.” The whole family was in now tears. Alec’s mum was the first to hug him. “Darling, we love you no matter what. All we want is for you to be happy.” John blew his nose noisily and hugged Alec too. “I can’t say that this is all too surprising, son. When a good-looking lad like you didn’t even bring one girl home to meet us, I had my suspicions. Son, I may be disappointed that none of my children followed me into the family business, but I am in no way disappointed in you. I will be proud as a peacock when I see you on stage.” Alec swiped at his teary face with his palms and hugged both his parents again. “What about Albert?” he asked quietly. Jo, Fiona, and John practically sighed and rolled their eyes in unison at the mention of Alec’s brother. “We’ll get it sorted,” Fiona said with a laugh. “Well, now that we’ve got that bit of news out of the way,” Jo interjected, “you can answer my question: when did you two become engaged?” Alec laughed nervously and looked sheepish. “Well, I haven’t actually asked him yet. I just hope he’ll have me.” He looked at his family and said firmly, “I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.” Alec’s mum gave him a teary smile and hugged him again. “I’m happy that you’re happy. If you love Peter, we’ll love him too.”

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Chapter Ten ON

THE following day, Peter was well enough for them to

move him to a regular hospital room. As Alec sat with Peter, he occupied himself with the latest car magazine, but partway through the glossy publication, he heard a rustle and looked up to see a pair of violet eyes staring at him. “You’re supposed to be asleep,” Alec said with mock sternness. “I was. Now I’m enjoying the view,” Peter answered, flashing a flirty smile. Alec rolled his eyes. “Now I know you’re feeling better.” “I’m done sleeping. I’m bored and I want to go home. It sucks spending the Christmas holidays in hospital,” Peter said with a touch of petulance. Alec put down his magazine and stroked Peter’s jaw. “I want you home too, babe. It won’t be long now, I’m sure.” Rummaging around in the bag at his feet, Alec offered, “If you’re bored, I’ve got some other magazines here, or we can watch some telly.” Before Peter could answer, a perky middle-aged woman breezed into the room. “Hello, Peter, I’m Rosie. We’re going to get you up and moving today,” she said brightly.

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She continued to talk as she lowered the rail on Peter’s bed. “We’ll have you sit in this chair and see how you do. Then I’d like you to try and walk around a bit, all right? It really improves the recovery time when we get our patients up and moving as soon as possible.” Turning to Alec, she asked, “Are you here as friend or family, sweetheart?” “Peter’s my boyfr—partner.” Peter shot Alec a smile that lit up the room. “Excellent! We like to involve family in our patients’ recovery. You can take Peter for his walks. Just up and down the corridor, mind you, no nipping outside for a smoke,” she said in jest, shaking a finger at Alec. Returning her attention to her patient, she said, “Right, then, up we go,” and boosted Peter to a sitting position. Alec bit his lip apprehensively as Peter swung his legs around and dangled them over the side of the bed. He looked very pale, and his breathing was shallow. “You all right there, Peter?” Alec asked, peering into his partner’s face. “Should he be breathing like that?” Alec asked, pointing a finger at Peter but addressing Rosie. “Hey, I’m right here,” Peter snapped, “and I’m fine. Just give me a moment.” With a pair of safety-treaded slipper socks over his feet and a hand at either side of him, Peter tentatively slid off the bed. He gave a little squeak of surprise when his knees buckled, but they held him securely and set him upright. “Very good,” Rosie said encouragingly when Peter straightened up and held steady. Unfortunately, after Peter

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sat down in the chair by the bed, he took a deep breath and did a little circular rotation with his head. It was too late when Peter realized he should not have done that; the room tilted and stayed tilted. “Peter? What’s the matter, babe? Answer me.” A rushing sound had filled Peter’s head, and Alec’s question sounded as if it came from somewhere underwater. Peter couldn’t even hear his own voice. “I want to lie down,” he felt himself saying. The color had washed out of his vision, and he felt himself tipping out of the chair. Then came a muffled shout, Alec holding him tightly, a clatter of furniture, and faraway voices. When the color came back to his vision, Peter was flat on the floor with a shaken Alec kneeling next to him, cradling his head. Peter felt sick and sweaty and more than just a bit embarrassed. “What the fuck,” he muttered angrily at himself, trying to get up. Alec placed a restraining hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Easy now. Hold still until Rosie checks you over.” A moment later, Rosie came into view. “How are you feeling? Still woozy?” She prodded him gently here and there. “Does anything new hurt?” When Peter answered that he was feeling a bit sick but nothing new hurt, they decided it was safe enough to just get him up and put him back to bed. “Well, dearie, it was a start, anyway,” Rosie said as she smoothed down the blanket around Peter. “You can try again when you’re feeling steadier. But do not”—she waggled a finger at him—“try to get out of bed by yourself. You call for assistance or get your gorgeous partner there to help you,” she said, flashing Alec a smile.

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When they were alone again, Peter burst into tears. He wrung a bit of blanket in his hands and sobbed softly. “I’m sorry. I’m just useless,” he said in a small voice. “I just want to go home, but, but”—he swallowed a sob and hiccupped— “I’m just useless.” Alec watched Peter worrying the bit of cloth in his hands and ached for him. The hospital stay had reduced Peter, his rudder and his rock, to an emotional puddle. Alec stilled Peter’s twitching hands in his own; then, holding Peter’s face in his hands, he placed a kiss on each eyelid. “You daft sod. You’ve been barely conscious for the past two days. You can’t expect everything to be better so soon,” Alec gently admonished. After handing Peter a tissue, Alec just held him until he was calm again. “I’m sorry about the meltdown,” Peter said with an embarrassed glance at Alec. “It’s the pain medications. They make me feel like I’m in a fog. I hate it.” “I tell you what. We’ll try going for a walk later, when you’ve had a nap. And while you’re asleep, I’ll nip over to your flat and get you some clothes so we’ll be ready when it’s time for you to go home.” Peter brightened at the idea. “That would be super. And I want you to have a lie down too.” “Sure, babe, anything you’d like,” Alec said, tucking Peter in for a nap. Later that evening, Alec came back to the hospital toting a small bag with some clothes for Peter. When he arrived upstairs, he was happy to see that Peter was awake and

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watching television, and by the looks of what was on the bed table, they had given him some dinner, and he had eaten most of it. “Hi, babe, did you have a good afternoon?” Alec asked, giving Peter a peck on the cheek. “I did, actually. Jo and Mattie came by,” Peter answered with a wave of a hand at some flowers and balloons on the table next to the bed, “and I’ve been looking forward to going for a walk with you.” Peter beamed Alec a heart-melting smile. “Are you up to it?” Alec asked, slightly bedazzled by Peter’s flirting. “I’ve already been up to go to the loo without cracking my head. I think it’ll be safe to go for a walk.” Alec noted with satisfaction that Peter no longer had any tubes attached to him, and a little tug was all it took to get Peter to swing his legs over the side of the bed. When Alec knelt down to pull some slipper socks over Peter’s feet for the walk, he placed a feather-light kiss on each bare knee. Peter chuckled at the ticklish sensation. “I could move to a higher spot if you like,” Alec said suggestively. Peter’s eyes fairly flashed with mischief. “I’d love you to, but it would be terribly embarrassing if we had to explain why I passed out again.” “That would be awkward,” Alec said with laugh, and he got up off his knees to gallantly raise a bent elbow for Peter to take. “Care for a romantic stroll under the fluorescent lights, my love?” he asked, then held his breath as Peter gingerly slid off the bed. Alec relaxed when he felt Peter’s weight settle onto his arm.

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The two men walked arm in arm around the ward. Peter rested his head on Alec’s shoulder at intervals; they shared little smiles and flirted with each other like lovers reunited after a long separation. Alec even softly sang to Peter, who grinned at the romance and the silliness of it all. On their second circuit around the floor, Alec stopped suddenly and let out startled gasp. “What is it, love? Are you all right?” Peter asked, trying to follow Alec’s gaze. “It’s my mum and dad,” Alec whispered as he watched them heading for Peter's room. Peter gasped too and tried to pull away, but Alec wouldn’t let go of him. “No. It’s all right,” Alec said softly. “They’ve come to see you. I told them about us.” “Oh, Alec,” Peter breathed. “You did? Thank you.” Tears glistened in Peter’s eyes despite the grin plastered on his face. “Yeah, I told them yesterday. I was going to tell you about it tonight,” Alec said, losing himself in the violet pools of Peter’s eyes until Peter staggered and fell against the wall. “Ooh, are you okay?” Alec asked quickly. “Yeah, I’m fine,” Peter whispered, pulling Alec in for a kiss. Gingerly, Alec folded Peter into his arms and melted into the lips pressing against him. They left the world behind as they immersed themselves in each other and did not come back until they heard someone insistently clearing their throat.

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“Dad! Mum!” Alec exclaimed when he saw his dad standing there, clearing his throat. Peter was panting from the effort of the kiss and smiled wanly at them as he leaned heavily against the wall. “Oh dear, I think we ought to get Peter back to bed before we make our introductions,” Fiona said, taking Peter by the arm. Alec quickly took the other arm, and together they helped Peter back to his room. “We do apologize for intruding while you’re in hospital, but we simply had to meet you before we left London. We’re headed up to Edinburgh for the New Year, you see,” Fiona said to Peter. “Then it’s back to America from there,” John said. “No. Not at all. It means a lot to me that you took time out from your holiday to see me. I just hope you don’t mind that you haven’t caught me at my best,” Peter said as he self-consciously ran a hand across the stubble on his face. “Nonsense. We are practically family,” Fiona tutted. Peter shot Alec a quizzical glance. Alec took Peter’s hand and nodded slightly to encourage Peter to just go with the flow. “It’s probably time we left and let Peter get some rest,” John reminded his wife. “Your father is right. We should be going. Peter, I’m glad we were able to see you this trip.” To Peter’s surprise, Fiona gave him peck on the cheek. “I hope you and Alec will come see us soon in Florida,” she said with emphasis as a reminder to Alec.

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“What did your mum mean by practically family? What exactly did you tell her?” Peter asked when John and Fiona had gone. “I told them that you meant the world to me and that I loved you very much. Please forgive me for being such an idiot,” Alec told Peter, giving him a soft kiss on the lips. “I love you too, and I’m sorry I didn’t let you sort things out in your own time.” Alec kissed Peter again. “Well, it’s all sorted now, and I want things to be different. I want you to move in with me.” Peter caressed Alec’s jaw with a thumb. “Are you sure? It’s a big step. Shouldn’t you think about it first?” “I have thought about it. That’s why I told my parents about us. I love you, and it would make me very happy. Besides, you’ll need some looking after for a little while.” Peter sighed and smiled. “All right, I’ll move in on one condition.” Alec raised a quizzical eyebrow. “I’ll move in if you stop eating jam out of the jar with a spoon.” “I do no such thing,” Alec said indignantly. When Peter raised an eyebrow, Alec let out a low rumble of a laugh. “All right, I do. Done. I’ll quit doing that.” Alec gave Peter another soft kiss before leaving for the night. “It’s rather late, and they’ll be chucking me out soon. You have a good night, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” That night, they both had the best night’s sleep since the whole Christmas fiasco started.

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Chapter Eleven “I

CAN’T breathe, can’t breathe. No… oh no. God… no…

no…. Alec… no…. I’m not ready to leave him. Alec! Alec!” “Peter! Peter! Wake up, sweetheart,” Alec yelled into the dark, groping for his partner. Peter’s eyes flew open at the sound of Alec’s voice, but he was shaking and dripping with sweat. “I remember the accident,” he panted. “Your shirt is soaked!” Alec exclaimed after he had flicked on the bedside lamp. “I’ll get you a fresh one.” Alec helped Peter off with his pajama shirt as he changed. It was easier now, but Alec had nearly wept the day Peter came home from his long stay in the hospital. On Peter’s first day home, Alec was helping him change for bed, and it was the first time he’d seen Peter bare since the accident. When Peter peeled off his shirt, he was a mass of bruises. A bandage covered the incision where they had cut him open to repair his internal injuries, but it could not hide the sickly blue-green bruise from the procedure. All over his back and shoulders were contusions from debris that had rained down on him in the accident. The worst was the bruise marking the blow that sent him to intensive care; it looked like a knife wound. Even the safety harness that had

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saved his life left its mark. Now, nearly three weeks later, the bruises were fading and the surgery scar was a just a pink line, but memories of the accident were not nearly as faded for either Peter or Alec. When Peter was comfortably under the covers again, Alec turned off the lights and gingerly spooned against Peter. “You’re safe now. Tell me what happened,” Alec said gently. Peter sighed and closed his eyes. “That morning, Jake wanted me to come up to the third level to have a look at a cornice piece that wasn’t marked on the facade sketches. I was up there only a minute when I felt myself falling. I thought I had stepped back too far and was falling off the scaffold. It wasn’t until I was hanging by my harness beneath the wreckage that I realized the whole thing had collapsed.” Peter felt Alec give him a kiss on the back of his head, and he paused to take a breath before speaking again. “I was afraid they wouldn’t find me because I was wedged between the building and some wood. Then I suddenly felt a horrible pain in my chest; I couldn’t breathe and started blacking out,” Peter said, fingering the bruise on his chest. Alec nuzzled into Peter’s hair and inhaled deeply. “The last thing I remember was that I didn’t want to die and leave you,” Peter whispered through tears. Alec was now teary too and kissed the back of Peter’s head again. Sleep eluded them now, but they were content to spoon together and take comfort from each other. “Alec, everything is all right between us, isn’t it?” Peter asked after a few minutes of cuddling together in the soft darkness of their bedroom.

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Alec was shocked at the question. “Of course! Why would you even ask such a thing?” “It’s been nearly a week since I’ve been cleared for normal activity… and we haven’t…. You haven’t… shown any interest when I try to….” Alec sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. “Peter, you know how I feel about having sex with you. I could stay in bed all day with you. It’s just that… so soon after… it still…,” he said haltingly, trying to construct a reply. Alec leaned back on the headboard with a sigh and started over again. “When you were in hospital, you were so fragile, so broken, and in so much pain, I was afraid to touch you. I’m just afraid of reinjuring you. I—” Peter did not let Alec finish his sentence; instead, he pulled him down for a hard kiss on the lips. “You idiot. I’m fine. I’m not made of glass. Now kiss me back like you mean it,” he demanded. Alec returned the kiss with a long, languid one that gave him time to undo the buttons on Peter’s pajamas. Then, with a mixture of exhilaration and uneasiness, he haltingly and slowly let his hands glide along the fine, smooth skin and lean lines of Peter’s body. When Alec’s fingers brushed against the scar on Peter’s side, his breath hitched, but when Peter did not flinch, Alec relaxed and took hold of Peter more firmly. He stroked and kneaded every inch of Peter as if to confirm that he was solid and whole. Peter responded in kind with rough kisses and love bites that left a trail of red marks to show that he was back to reclaim what was his. Finally, when Peter showed his strength by rolling hard and

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pinning Alec beneath him, Alec gave himself over completely to Peter. It had been weeks since they made love, and they threw themselves at each other like starving men at a feast. Peter held Alec in place with a bruising kiss and slid his hands between Alec’s thighs. He palmed the heavy testicles as he teased at Alec’s sphincter with a forefinger. When the tight ring of muscle resisted entry, Peter slicked it with pre-cum from his own throbbing member and tried again. Two gentle pushes later, Alec was moaning in pleasure as Peter probed and milked his prostate with practiced skill. The foreskin on Alec’s uncut penis retracted to reveal the glans that had turned as dark as a ripe plum and glistened enticingly with pre-cum. As waves of pleasure washed through him, Alec couldn’t bear it anymore. “Peter, I’m so close. Please. I need all of you inside of me.” Wordlessly, Peter withdrew his finger and reached into the bedside table for the lube. When he had slicked his own hardened member, he raised Alec’s knees toward his shoulders and slicked his target as well. He easily guided his hard-on into his partner by placing his thumb at the head of his penis. As Peter slid inside, Alec moaned and reached down to stroke himself. “Oh no, love. I’m in charge. You can come when I tell you to,” Peter whispered as he took Alec’s wrists and pinned them down on the bed. When Peter started to thrust his hips rhythmically, each inward thrust hit Alec’s prostate and caused a sparkle of lights in the backs of his eyes. As a growing puddle of pre-

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cum slicked the hardened cock trapped between their bodies, Alec’s pupils dilated and his breathing grew ragged. Peter watched in pleasure as his partner strained to achieve climax. “You’re close to coming, aren’t you? Do you want it now? Do you?” Peter whispered hoarsely. “Oh, God. Yes,” Alec gasped out, writhing under Peter’s restraining hand. “I’m close, so close. Please don’t stop.” “Ask me and I’ll let you come. Ask me,” Peter urged as he held back his own climax. “Please, Peter, let me come. I’m so close. Please.” Suddenly Peter ducked his head down and sucked on Alec’s left nipple. It was all Alec needed to go over the edge. His eyes rolled back into his head, and he roared in pleasure as a hot stream of semen shot out of his painfully engorged erection. Alec’s orgasmic contractions clamped down tight on the penis buried deep inside him, and a split second later, Peter was pouring himself into his partner. They rode the wave until their groins ached from the protracted spasms, and then they finally collapsed together in a sticky heap. Peter was still inside Alec, and they stayed that way until Peter softened and slipped out. When Peter finally crawled up from between Alec’s legs, Alec whispered to him, “Thank you, and welcome back. I love you.” “I love you too,” Peter whispered back, snuggling into Alec’s arms.

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When the velvety darkness of sleep started to envelop them again, Peter mumbled, “I guess we should wash before we fall asleep.” “You go. I can’t move,” Alec murmured weakly. Peter laughed softly. “Me neither,” he said before he turned off the bedside lamp.

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Chapter Twelve ALEC walked quietly from the kitchen toward the bedroom with a laden tray. The pearl gray light of the late January morning was just creeping through the windows, and except for the soft clatter of the crockery as he padded along in his stocking feet, the flat was quiet. When he reached the bedroom, he quietly put the tray down and got back into bed. The rush of cold air that came in with Alec when he slid under the duvet woke Peter from his snuggly sleep. “You’re stealing all the covers!” Peter muttered peevishly, wrapping himself tighter in the bedclothes. Alec ignored the complaint and instead stealthily ran his cold hands up Peter’s back. “Arrrgh, you ass!” Peter sputtered. “What the hell are you doing? Why are your hands so cold?” he demanded, rolling over to give the offender a withering look, but a breath-stealing kiss caught him before he could even lay eyes on the icy-handed culprit. “Happy anniversary, babe,” Alec whispered when he came up for air. Peter answered with a contented sigh as he quickly forgot the cold hands that woke him. “Mmmm, happy

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anniversary, love. You know, it feels like it’s been longer than a year since we first met.” “That’s because it has. We met in summer, remember? This is the anniversary of our first date,” Alec said, nuzzling his cheek against Peter’s to enjoy the frisson of morning stubble against his face. “I couldn’t wait to start celebrating, so I brought you some breakfast.” “A tasty one at that,” Peter answered with a waggle of his eyebrows. “I meant I brought you something to eat,” Alec said in mock exasperation. “Oh, something to eat!” Peter exclaimed, pretending to understand at last. Alec slid his partner a wry look before flicking on a bedside lamp; he also swatted him on the butt for good measure. “I got up extra early to make this, so let’s eat it before it gets cold,” he told Peter as he stood up to get the tray. When the tray was set on the bed, they snuggled under the covers and tucked into a breakfast of smoked salmon omelets, strawberries, croissants, and flutes of mimosas extravagantly made with French champagne. “These strawberries are very good,” Alec heard Peter comment partway through their meal, but before Alec could say anything in reply, a gentle tug on his hair tilted his head back, and a pair of lips with a strawberry between them pushed the sweet fruit into his mouth. Their lips melded in a juice-laden, lingering kiss, and when they broke apart, Alec

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had gone muzzy with arousal, and Peter had to shift himself to relieve the discomfort of his tented boxers. “Yeah, good strawberries, but I can think of something else that’s better.” Alec grinned and quickly removed the tray. Fueled by champagne and orange juice, they left languid lovemaking for later; instead they made love urgently and stroked each other to climax in a white-hot flash. “You keep doing that,” Alec panted after he had stopped twitching, “and you’ll have a very dull anniversary celebration tonight.” “Oh, I’m sure you’ll rise to the occasion,” Peter teased. “With what I planned for tonight, you are not far off the mark,” Alec smugly hinted. “Well, if we are to pay for whatever extravagances you have planned for tonight, we had better get ready for work,” Peter said, giving Alec a kiss on the nose before popping out of bed.

LATER that evening, as his gift to Alec, Peter took him to one of London’s very posh Japanese fusion restaurants. After dinner they stood on the curb waiting for a cab to take them to the next part of their anniversary celebration. Warmed by sake and filled by a bit more sushi than they needed, they stood entwined together in the cold January evening, sated and happy. “Sooo, where are you taking me?” Peter asked, cuddling closer against a gust of biting wind.

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“Up,” Alec said as he rocked from heel to toe and back again. The sake had made both of them just a little silly. Oh, Peter mouthed soundlessly and tried to steal a kiss. When a cab finally appeared, Alec gave the driver a Southbank address, and a few minutes later, the cab stopped in front of a park that Peter recognized even in the dark. “The Eye? Are we going on the London Eye, then?” “Yes, but there will be more to the ride than meets the eye,” Alec uttered in a feeble attempt at a joke. Peter snorted. “You’re the clever boots tonight, aren’t you?” Alec laughed aloud and took Peter’s arm as they crossed the dark lawn of the park to the London Eye. At the boarding area, Peter was impressed that they went directly to the special entrance for private rides. When their private gondola arrived, Peter gasped at what was inside—a table for two with champagne and candles had been set in the middle of the compartment. Alec beamed with satisfaction as he watched Peter dash to the far end of the glass-enclosed compartment, mesmerized by the flickering lights of the city on the other side of the Thames. The great wheel rotated at a stately pace, but soon they were higher than the rooftops. “You know, I’ve never been on the Eye. This is absolutely brilliant,” Peter said, still staring at the lights below him.

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Alec encircled Peter from behind and rested his head on his shoulder. “We’ll be at the very top soon. Let’s enjoy the view with a glass of champagne,” Alec suggested, giving Peter a kiss behind the ear. They stepped away from the glass wall of the gondola, took a seat on the wide wooden bench by the candlelit table, and shrugged off their heavy winter jackets. As they sipped on bubbly champagne in the comfortable warmth of the heated compartment, they rose higher and higher until London was a carpet of lights their feet. “What’s that over there?” Alec asked, distracting Peter for a moment from the mesmerizing lights of the city. “What, that dark area? I think it’s St. James Park.” “Yeah, I think you’re right. This is rather good champagne, don’t you think?” Alec asked, raising his glass to his lips. “Yes, it’s lovely,” Peter agreed, and he drained the rest of the champagne from the flute in one long swallow. “Caww, what the…. There’s something in my glass!” He sputtered and spit something out onto his hand. Peter stared at it dumbfounded and wide-eyed while Alec held a hand over his eyes and shook his head. “It’s a ring. There’s a ring in my glass,” Peter exclaimed. “How in the bloody hell…,” Peter started to say before he figured out what just happened. He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at Alec, who just nodded his head. Peter swallowed again and continued to stare at Alec. “Say yes,” Alec whispered. “Say that you’ll marry me.” “Yes,” Peter whispered.

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“I’ve never been so in love with anyone as I am with you,” Alec said nervously. “When you were in hospital….” “I said yes,” Peter said more loudly. “Yes? You’ll have me, then? Peter, I’m….” Peter pulled Alec to him by the front of his shirt. “Sssh, you talk too much,” he told him before sealing his answer with a searing, lip-biting, breath-stealing kiss.

About the Author

LORI C. HAWKINS is a New York City transplant living in California, where she divides her time between the San Francisco Bay Area and suburban Los Angeles. She travels extensively, loves opera, and plays golf in just about any kind of weather. Lori discovered her passion for writing after leaving a finance career at a major bank in San Francisco and is now writing full time. She believes in living an audacious life and in happy endings. Visit her blog at http://rainbowromances.livejournal.com/. You may contact her at [email protected].

Read more about Peter and Alec in

What’s Past is Presence By Lori C. Hawkins One night Peter wakes his partner Alec in the middle of the night while in the throes of a nightmare and launches Alec on a three-day adventure into the unseen. Peter claims that the source of his nightmare was the discovery that their house was a gruesome Victorian era crime scene. Alec is skeptical of the story, but he becomes very worried about Peter’s mental state when he reports seeing a shadowy presence in their bedroom. When the situation takes a turn for the worse, Alec is in a terrified panic... until Peter does something about it and faces the fallout. A part of the 2010 Daily Dose Set, Midsummer's Nightmare, which includes 30 M/M stories of supernatural romance that may feature an edge of suspense and heart-pounding fear; a taste of the paranormal worlds of ghosts, vampires, and werewolves; and even the stuff of nightmares and dreamscapes.

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com

Copyright

Finding Forever ©Copyright Lori C. Hawkins, 2010 Published by Dreamspinner Press 4760 Preston Road Suite 244-149 Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Cover Art by Catt Ford This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the Publisher. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 4760 Preston Road, Suite 244-149, Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ Released in the United States of America September 2010 eBook Edition eBook ISBN: 978-1-61581-605-7 xxx