Holly and the Millionaire

Heads would roll over this debacle… If he hadn’t needed to get out of England so urgently, he would have waited for another flight. To hell with the risk of being grounded by a blizzard. He showed his ticket to the flight attendant. He hadn’t flown in economy class for years, wouldn’t be doing it today either if he had any say in the matter. “I’m so sorry about this mix-up, Mr. Devereux. The airline did everything it could to get you a last minute business-class seat, but like first class, it was booked out.” Well, you didn’t try hard enough, he nearly said, but bit back the angry words. It wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault that his booking still floated around in cyberspace. “We were able to get you an aisle seat near the front.” “Thank goodness for that at least.” On being shown to his seat, he took off his cashmere coat, folded it neatly and stowed it in the overhead locker. If he had even an ounce of luck, the seat beside him would remain empty, but he wouldn’t take bets on it. Setting his briefcase on the floor, he rested his laptop on the vacant seat. What a shocking few hours it had been. At least it was a little more spacious here. He couldn’t understand why there was extra leg space and only one other seat when there would be normally at least three, sometimes four seats, jammed together. Closing his eyes, he thought back on the last twenty-four hours. He didn’t care about Deanna dumping him for Simon as their relationship had just about run its course. Running off with millions of dollars of his employees’ pension funds? Now

that was something else.

Holly and the Millionaire by Margaret Tanner

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales, is entirely coincidental. Holly and the Millionaire COPYRIGHT © 2008 by Margaret Tanner All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the author or The Wild Rose Press except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. Contact Information: [email protected] Cover Art by Angela Anderson The Wild Rose Press PO Box 706 Adams Basin, NY 14410-0706 Visit us at www.thewildrosepress.com Publishing History First Champagne Rose Edition, 2008 Print ISBN 1-60154-216-X Published in the United States of America

Dedication To my friends at MRWG, and in particular, Cheryl Wright (published author) for all her help and advice, and Serena Tatti for critiquing the original manuscript.

Chapter One Justin Devereux fumed as he strode on board the aircraft. Heads would roll over this debacle. If he hadn’t needed to get out of England so urgently, he would have waited for another flight. To hell with the risk of being grounded by a blizzard. He showed his ticket to the flight attendant. He hadn’t flown in economy class for years, wouldn’t be doing it today either if he had any say in the matter. “I’m so sorry about this mix-up, Mr. Devereux. The airline did everything it could to get you a last minute business-class seat, but like first class, it was booked out.” Well, you didn’t try hard enough, he nearly said, but bit back the angry words. It wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault that his booking still floated around in cyberspace. “We were able to get you an aisle seat near the front.” “Thank goodness for that at least.” On being shown to his seat, he took off his cashmere coat, folded it neatly and stowed it in the overhead locker. If he had even an ounce of luck, the seat beside him would remain empty, but he wouldn’t take bets on it. Setting his briefcase on the floor, he rested his laptop on the vacant seat. What a shocking few hours it had been. At least it was a little more spacious here. He couldn’t understand why there was extra leg space and only one other seat when there would be normally at least three, sometimes four seats, 1

Margaret Tanner jammed together. Closing his eyes, he thought back on the last twenty-four hours. He didn’t care about Deanna dumping him for Simon as their relationship had just about run its course. Running off with millions of dollars of his employees’ pension funds? Now that was something else. Despicable and criminal, and they did it in such a way the blame fell on him. He was ruthless. He had to be to claw his way to the top of the business world, but he had always acted with integrity. There were only two choices in the short term. Risk tarnishing his good business reputation or discreetly pay the money back. He chose the latter. I’ll hound them to the ends of the earth; I don’t care how long it takes. No one cheats Justin Devereux and gets away with it. “Hell,” he yelped as something hard and sharp rammed into his groin. His eyes flew open. God, someone was trying to castrate him. “S-sorry,” the wavering female voice said. Justin looked up into a pair of blue eyes that were swimming in tears. “Here, let me help,” he growled, pushing the weapon away from his crotch and handing it back to her. It was a wonder they let her bring the thing on board. She took the folded-up baby stroller but dropped a large pink bag onto his foot. Where were the attendants when you needed them? This was definitely going to be the flight from hell. He watched the girl struggling with the stroller, her handbag and a baby. His first thought was that she didn’t look old enough to have a baby. His second was how tiny and frail she appeared, with fine, ice-blonde hair tumbling out of its restraining clip. “It’s all right, don’t get flustered.” He felt strangely moved by her pale, heart-shaped face and trembling lips. 2

Holly And The Millionaire As she reached across his briefcase to sit the baby on the floor, a swathe of hair brushed his face, and he smelt a faint elusive perfume. Flowers perhaps. Like enticing fingers, it captured his senses. Before he could offer to help, she lifted up the pink bag to try to put it in the overhead locker, but she wasn’t tall enough to reach. As he got up to assist her, the bag tilted, and a jar of baby food hit him on the head. This girl was a walking disaster area. “I-I’m sorry.” “It’s all right. Accidents happen.” Grimacing, he rubbed his head. “Let me put the bag up for you.” And that lethal pram too, he thought, not wanting to risk being run through again. He valued his manhood too much. As he stowed everything in the locker, he noticed that the white-haired and blue-eyed baby was playing with his briefcase—its plump little fingers trying to pick the lock. The girl darted under his arm and scooped up the baby, and sat down as quick as a flash. Thank goodness he’d be safe for a little while at least. **** Holly gnawed the inside of her lower lip. I’m not going to cry again. I’ll dehydrate if I do. She had to keep her wits about her in case the Kirwans came after them. Even with all their power and money, surely they couldn’t drag Lilly and her off the plane. If only it would hurry up and take off and get her away from England with all its trauma, betrayal and bittersweet memories. She stifled a sob, letting Lilly pull at her hair—anything to stop the baby from crying, at least until they got into the air. If the man sitting next to her complained—and he looked savage enough to do so—they might be put off the plane. It 3

Margaret Tanner was stupid, illogical. She had paid for her ticket just like him, but her defenses had taken such a battering over the last few weeks, she couldn’t think straight. Lilly suddenly tired of pulling Holly’s hair. She leaned across and grabbed the strap of the man’s laptop carry bag. He tried to snatch it back. “I’m sorry.” Holly pried the baby fingers open. The seatbelt sign lit up. They were getting ready to take off. She clipped on her seatbelt, watching as the man did the same. He had long, tanned fingers with well-kept nails. His dark trousers were tailor made and his shoes handcrafted, by the look of them. The cream highnecked sweater he wore was of the finest wool. This man’s appearance screamed wealth and power. So why did he travel economy class? They were moving, the roar of the engines a musical serenade in her ears. She and Lilly were safe. No one had followed them on board. She exhaled a breath without even realizing she had been holding it. Lilly started squirming again. For some reason, she seemed attracted to the man’s laptop. She wanted it, and for an eleven month old, she was determined. “No, darling, you can’t have that.” She pulled the chubby hand away. “It isn’t ours.” The man stared at her with slate-gray eyes that were cold and bleak as a wintry English sky. His wavy black hair showed flecks of silver at the temples. He compressed his mouth, but his lower lip jutted ever so slightly—full, sensuous and very kissable. Why did she care what shape his lips were? He seemed vaguely familiar, but in her troubled frame of mind, she couldn’t remember where she might have seen him before. A shudder shook all the way through her. She shouldn’t be admiring men, didn’t want to be admiring men, not with Robbie barely cold in his 4

Holly And The Millionaire grave. Her stomach plummeted and her eardrums vibrated. She closed her eyes, clutching Lilly around the waist. Don’t think about it. Large passenger planes rarely crashed. Only military transport planes were shot down from the sky. Only laughing young soldiers died. She couldn’t stop a moan of distress from escaping. She wanted to stop it, but couldn’t. “Hey, it’s all right.” The man touched her arm. “We’re off the ground now.” She fought the terror, burying her face against Lilly’s warm back, inhaling the sweet baby scent. It comforted her. They were safe, on their way home now, out of reach of Robbie’s parents. It didn’t have to be this way. She had been prepared to share Lilly with them. She was their first grandchild, the only one they would ever have now. They wanted Lilly, but they didn’t want her. Pure and simple. The story of my life, Holly thought bitterly. No one wanted her except Robbie. She sniffed back the tears. “Are you all right?” the man asked in a gruff voice. “Do you want me to call the flight attendant?” “No, thank you, I’m fine.” What a laugh. She was a twenty-four-year-old runaway widow whose in-laws were intent on stealing her child. She rammed back the bitter laughter building up in her throat in case it spilt out and she became hysterical. “Mr. Devereux, compliments of the captain,” the flight attendant said, handing him a balloon glass half full of a warm-looking amber liquid. Some expensive tipple no doubt, Holly thought. “Thank you.” He swirled the contents of his glass around releasing the aroma of fine malt whisky. “The lady here might also like a drink.” 5

Margaret Tanner “No, thanks.” Alcohol was the last thing she wanted. Recognition suddenly dawned on her. Justin Devereux, millionaire property developer and corporate giant in the flesh. No wonder he seemed familiar. His pictures didn’t do him justice though. She almost said, I worked for you once as a word processing operator in one of your smaller subsidiary offices. Lilly, having dropped off to sleep, became a dead weight in her arms. The airline clerk she had spoken to about bringing the stroller on board mentioned something about a cot being supplied. “Excuse me. I understood there would be a cot.” “There is.” The flight attendant dragged her attention away from Justin Devereux and pulled down a foldaway canvas cot. “If you need anything heated up for the baby, just let me know.” “Thank you.” Holly laid Lilly down. There was only a thin airline blanket to cover her, and it wasn’t enough. “Excuse me. I need to get a blanket.” “I’ll get it for you,” Justin Devereux volunteered. He wasn’t being chivalrous, Holly knew, but merely acting out of self-preservation. “Thank you, it’s the pink bag.” Without a word, he stood up, got the bag down and handed it to her. He watched her every move. She wondered whether he thought she might drop something on him again. If he knew why her nerves were shot to pieces, he wouldn’t be glowering at her. That’s if he had any compassion. Did millionaires have compassion? She took out a disposable nappy and Lilly’s shabby pink bunny rug with the faded ribbon chewed through in one corner. “It’s her favorite. She’ll want it when she wakes up.” Holly didn’t know why she told him 6

Holly And The Millionaire this. Perhaps she didn’t want him to think of her as a deadbeat mother. Not that it mattered what he thought. It wasn’t as if she would ever see him again after this flight. He moved in the big league. **** Justin watched with narrowed eyes as the girl gently wrapped the blanket around the baby. He didn’t know anything about babies and didn’t want to. Compared to the plump, rosy-cheeked child, the mother looked like a stray, underfed waif. He cursed under his breath. He didn’t care what she looked like—didn’t care what tragedy had befallen her. Why should he? She was distraught, her eyes deep blue pools of suffering, the pale skin stretched over her cheekbones. It aroused his curiosity because he could only remember one other time when he had witnessed such abject misery. “They’ll be serving dinner soon,” he said, leaning a little closer. Holly could smell the alcohol on his breath and the subtle spicy scent of male cologne. “I’m sorry for poking you with the stroller and hitting you on the head, Mr. Devereux,” she apologized. “I’m clumsy when I’m upset or nervous.” “Have we met before?” he asked. “No, but I heard the flight attendant address you by name and I remembered seeing your picture in the papers back home in Melbourne. I’m Holly Kirwan.” She didn’t know why she bothered introducing herself to him. “And this is my daughter, Lilly.” “Hi, I’m pleased to meet both of you. I’m based in Melbourne too. Call me Justin. Ah, here’s our food.” “Fish or beef?” the male flight attendant asked. Holly didn’t want anything. The thought of 7

Margaret Tanner food nauseated her, but she had to eat something to keep up her strength. “Beef, please.” “I’ll have beef too,” Justin said. The attendant gave him a tray and he passed it over to Holly. As she reached out a trembling hand, he noticed a gold wedding ring on her finger. His stomach muscles clenched. Why the hell should he care about her marital status? He was finished with treacherous damn women. “What kind of muck is this?” He opened the lid of the main meal, some horrible brown stew stuff, and nearly gagged. The dessert didn’t look much better either—custard and some squashy cubes of fruit. “It’s awful,” Holly agreed. “I’d be sick if I ate this.” She put the triangle of cheese on the bread roll—the only thing anywhere near palatable—and nibbled on that. She washed it down with some apple juice. If she didn’t keep herself well hydrated, she would be badly jet-lagged. She couldn’t risk that when she needed to find somewhere to live once they arrived in Melbourne. They couldn’t afford to stay in a hotel for long. “Tea or coffee?” the flight attendant asked. “Tea, thanks. Could I have some water, please?” “Coffee,” she heard Justin say. “By the way, this food is inedible.” He handed his and Holly’s tray over to the attendant. “Neither of us could eat any of it. Don’t serve us this muck again.” A few minutes after the attendant moved away with their trays, another attendant came up to Justin and handed him a gold-edged card. “Would you care to choose something from the first class menu?” He glanced at the menu. “Not at the moment, thanks. I’ve lost my appetite. That stuff you served before turned my stomach. What about you, Holly? 8

Holly And The Millionaire Would you like to choose something?” Holly watched the attendant purse her lips. Even an imbecile would know that the offer didn’t extend to a nobody like Holly Kirwan. “No, thank you. I’m not hungry any more.” “I’ll come back later, Mr. Devereux. If you need anything in the meantime, just let me know. Ask for Tina. I’m the supervisor for first class.” He nodded and picked up his briefcase. He opened it and took out a sheaf of papers. Holly closed her eyes and tried to sleep. Once Lilly woke up, there would be no rest for her at all. Good thing I’m short, she thought as she stretched out her jean-clad legs. Her feet only just touched the cot. Her eyes felt heavy and sore from crying, lack of sleep and worry. As she willed herself to relax, she wondered how she could be so exhausted, yet still wide awake. April Kirwan had called her a no-name trollop, accusing her of tricking twenty-one year old Robbie into marriage by getting pregnant. Horrible old witch! Didn’t she know how much they loved each other, how happy Robbie had been with his little family? In her head, Holly heard muffled drumbeats and the sounds of guns firing a military salute. Never again would she hear bagpipes without picturing the lone piper playing a soldier’s lament at the grave of her husband. Oh God, why did you do this to me? To Lilly? Her eyes flew open. She didn’t want to close them, didn’t want to sleep in case she dreamt of what had been lost or of what might have been. She had to get up to stretch her legs and go to the washroom before Lilly woke up. “Excuse me.” Justin glanced up from his papers as she tried to squeeze past. As he started to rise, she tripped over his briefcase and landed in his lap, scattering 9

Margaret Tanner his papers on the floor. “Sorry.” She tried to extricate herself. Instead of her hand landing on the headrest as she levered herself up, it landed on his shoulder. Their faces almost touched. His skin was tanned, sleek and smooth as a cat’s, except for a faint shadow around his jaw line. “You’re a lethal weapon,” he muttered, grasping her shoulders to help her rise. “I’ll pick the papers up myself.” Holly scuttled off, feeling hot, flustered and somehow juvenile. It shouldn’t have mattered, but it did. **** Damn it all. What was wrong with the woman? And she was certainly a woman. When she had slumped on him, he had felt the thrust of her breasts against his chest. The contours of her hips as they fitted snugly between his thighs had caused his groin to tighten. What the hell was he thinking? She was married, and he didn’t seduce other men’s wives. He knew from bitter experience how it could emotionally and financially cripple a man. Cursing under his breath, he bent down to pick up the scattered papers. The plane lurched. He managed to grab up the last page, but her handbag tipped over, scattering the contents around his feet. He started picking up the bits and pieces— lipstick, comb, a packet of tissues, a jar of baby food, a spoon and a disposable nappy. Shoving them into the bag, he checked the floor to make sure he had gathered up everything. A white envelope lay near his briefcase. He picked it up, and a couple of photographs slid out. Instead of putting them back straight away, he glanced at them. There was a picture of a laughing young soldier and a smiling Holly holding 10

Holly And The Millionaire an infant. The little family group looked so happy. He felt a sudden unfamiliar tug at his heart. Holly looked exquisite, still tiny and fragile, but her eyes were bright—not shadowed and tormented like now. What had happened to her? Something terrible. He didn’t doubt it for a moment. Did the laughing young soldier betray her with another woman? The breath caught in his throat as he stared at the other photo. A flag-draped coffin rested on a gun carriage, and soldiers in full military dress marched along beside it. “What are you doing with that?” Holly snatched the photos out of his hand. He felt a hot, guilty flush come to his cheeks. “Your bag tipped over. I think I gathered up everything. I didn’t mean to pry.” As she looked at the photos, a vice-like pain gripped her heart. “We were a handsome family, don’t you think?” “Yes.” She fought to stop herself from crying. “He’s dead,” she whispered. He reached out and squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry. Was he in an accident?” How soft her skin felt. How small and fine boned her hand was. Reluctantly, he let it go, cursing himself for being such a sentimental fool. She blinked back tears. “No. He was with the Americans, and their plane got shot down in Iraq.” She edged past him and sat down. Would it always hurt like this? It was imperative that she pull herself together and make a life for Lilly. Robbie would have wanted that. There would be no greater way to honor his memory than to bring his daughter up decently. She could do it. She had to. There was no one else. 11

Margaret Tanner

Chapter Two Holly woke up. For a split second, she felt warm and fuzzy. Someone had covered her legs with the airline blanket, and her head rested against Justin Devereux’s arm. It felt strong, somehow comforting. What was wrong with her? Cuddling up to a virtual stranger? She jerked herself away. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “It’s all right. You must be exhausted.” She nodded wearily. “I haven’t had a proper night’s sleep since the funeral.” “When was it?” he asked, his eyes dark with concern. “Seven months ago.” “Seven months!” “I wanted to go home. There was nothing left for us in England.” She didn’t dare tell him she had escaped from the Kirwans’ clutches with little more than the clothes on her back. Suppose Justin reported her to the authorities when they arrived in Bangkok. They might extradite her back to England or whatever they did to fugitives. The Kirwans only wanted Lilly. To hell with Holly. She could be left to rot in some Asian prison. How could parents plot the downfall of their son’s widow, and use their money and influence to blacken her name with innuendo and blatant, outright lies? The pain of betrayal wrought havoc with her heart, but the treachery tore her apart. Overcome with the grief of her loss she didn’t realize these people, desperate to get Lilly, would 12

Holly And The Millionaire stop at nothing. Within a few months, they had isolated her financially, emotionally and physically, leaving her with no one to turn to for help. She still would have stayed and fought them with every breath in her body if necessary had she only herself to consider, but she couldn’t risk losing Lilly. The only option as she saw it was to take Lilly and flee to Australia. She drew a long shuddering breath, trying to stop herself from having a panic attack. Lilly woke up and started crying. “It’s all right.” She picked up the baby and hugged her close. It was worth it. Everything was worthwhile because of Lilly. She should never forget it. Robbie had died because of his bravery. No sacrifice would be too great for his daughter. If Lilly could have found happiness with the Kirwans, she would have left her with them, even though it would have devastated her to do so. The Kirwans had virtually disowned Robbie while he lived because he defied them by making a life for himself with the army and Holly. Now he was gone, they were obsessed with having Lilly— the only child of their dead war hero son. Bob Kirwan would be able to dine out on Robbie’s exploits for years, and April would wear it as a badge of martyrdom. Lilly started pulling at Holly’s windcheater. “Do you want a drink, darling?” She turned in her seat and unclipped her front opening bra. Lilly’s little rosebud mouth clamped on her mother’s breast, and she started sucking strongly. The armrest dug into Holly’s back, so she straightened up in her seat a little. She heard Justin suck in his breath, but he couldn’t see anything with her windcheater pulled well down and Lilly’s head blocking off his view. How sweet it was, the most beautiful experience in 13

Margaret Tanner the whole world to feel your baby suckling your breast. She wanted to prolong it and feed Lilly for another couple of months at least, longer if possible. Lilly’s hand opened and closed, her little feet in their pale pink socks kicked the arm of Justin’s seat, hitting his arm every so often. “Don’t kick the nice man.” She didn’t know whether he was nice or not, but could hardly say don’t kick the rich man. “It’s all right.” Justin couldn’t believe Holly still breastfed Lilly. He had never thought about it, but if he had, he would have believed only tiny babies were breastfed. He tried not to stare at them. It made a touching picture though. Holly’s eyes were serene now—the terrible sadness and despair gone and replaced by a soft glow as she gazed down at her baby. It reminded him of a religious picture of the Madonna and Child he once saw in some museum or church. He didn’t know why he recalled it just then. He hadn’t thought about such things in years. The drumming of baby feet escalated in force and frequency until they were moving like a threshing machine. Lilly let go of the nipple and sat up. Holly made a frantic grab for her top. She heard the breath hiss from between Justin’s teeth. He turned his head away, but unless he was blind, he must have seen her bare breast. Holly felt the heat surge into her cheeks. She probably looked as red as a beetroot. Lilly pulled herself upright and made a grab for Justin’s papers. “Hey, steady on.” He moved them out of reach, and she tried to climb on to his lap to get them. “No, Lilly.” Holly picked her daughter up and held her tight. “Leave the man alone.” 14

Holly And The Millionaire “I think I’ll stretch my legs.” He stuffed the papers into his briefcase and stood. He was tall, about six feet in height, slim and well toned. Tungsten tough, a man in the peak of physical condition. Not movie star handsome, but dynamite just the same. As soon as he left, Holly changed Lilly’s wet nappy and tried her on the other breast, but she didn’t want to take it. She started to become fractious. Holly clipped up her bra and smoothed her top back into place. “Hey, Lilly Pilly, go to sleep,” she crooned as she gently rocked her. “Mummy loves you.” Lilly squirmed and wriggled so much Holly finally sat her in the cot. When Justin returned, Lilly pulled herself up and holding on to the edge for support, toddled around to the side nearest him. She put her hand out to touch his knee. He wriggled his fingers at her, and Lilly chortled. For some strange reason, she had taken a liking to him. In her baby innocence, perhaps seeing a softer being beneath the ruthless exterior? “Sorry.” Holly lifted Lilly’s hand away from Justin’s knee. “If you wouldn’t mind getting the pink bag down for me, I’ll get some toys out for her to play with so she’ll leave you in peace.” He shrugged. “She’s not bothering me. It must be hard traveling such a long way on your own with a baby.” “Yes.” But the alternatives were much worse, she thought bitterly. How different things could have been if the Kirwans had been reasonable, normal people. What was normal, though? A mother who dumped her baby on the steps of a convent at Christmas? A young soldier who goes off to fight for his country and returns home in a coffin? She didn’t really know what normal meant. “Thank you.” She took the bag from Justin, who remained standing. 15

Margaret Tanner “Get out what you want and I’ll put it back up for you.” He beckoned over a flight attendant. “I’d like some water, please. And you?” He glanced at Holly. “Yes, water too, thanks.” She flashed him a grateful smile. His thoughtfulness touched her. He might be rich and powerful, but Justin Devereux possessed a kind heart. Holly took out a couple of small soft toys and a set of colored plastic keys, another disposable nappy, a bib and a jar of baby apples. She didn’t want to impose on his goodwill too much right now in case she needed to ask for help later on. A sevenhour stopover in Bangkok could prove to be a nightmare. Distracted by the toys, Lilly sat down and started playing. Holly zipped up the bag and handed it back to Justin, who stowed it in the overhead locker. Was he annoyed that she kept asking him for favors? He hadn’t complained, but his lips were pursed, his eyes hard. He sat down, crossing one leg over his knee. He must have given up trying to work. The attendant returned with two bottles of water. She gave both of them to Justin who took them with a nod of thanks. The attendant hovered, but he was obviously not in the mood for small talk. She soon got the message and moved away with a slight pout of her lush red mouth. Devoid of all makeup, her hair dragged back and held in place with a large clip, wearing faded jeans and a pale blue windcheater, Holly felt scruffy and unattractive, but inconspicuous. Robbie always told her how beautiful she was. She gave a soft sigh of remembrance. They met two years ago in Melbourne when he was on exchange with the army; their attraction had been instantaneous. Within two months, they started living together. Three months later, she found 16

Holly And The Millionaire herself pregnant. A few weeks after that, they were married. When Lilly was two months old, his posting in Australia ended and they traveled to England so Robbie could rejoin his regiment. Right from the start, his parents didn’t think an orphan with no family background was good enough for their son. They kept telling him to leave her, and they would raise Lilly. He continually told her not to worry, that his parents were possessive, but they would soon come around once they got to know her. “How could anyone not love you, Hol?” he used to say. “You’re so sweet and caring, so beautiful.” He was the caring one. A few weeks after their arrival in England the brave, handsome young soldier who had been so eager to fight for his country lay dead. “Are you all right?” Justin asked. “Yes.” She swallowed the water in a few desperate gulps. “Your face suddenly lost all color.” “Ghosts from the past,” she whispered. “Your loss will get easier to bear as time passes.” “I feel as if I’ll never climb out of this black pit,” she went on sadly. “Once you get back to Melbourne and your family—” “I don’t have any family,” she cut him off. “I don’t have anyone—only Lilly.” “I know how you feel.” “How could you?” she shot back. “You’re wealthy and—” “Listen, lady.” His veneer of concern evaporated. “I’ve just been swindled out of three million dollars by my girlfriend and a trusted business partner. They blackened my reputation and left me to clean up the mess. I don’t have any family, either.” 17

Margaret Tanner She saw the shadow flit across his face, heard the raw pain and felt instantly contrite. “I’m sorry.” She touched his hand, and he snatched it away. “Keep your sympathy,” he snarled. “I don’t need it.” She didn’t know why his rejection hurt, but it did. He lapsed into an angry silence. He must have loved his girlfriend very much to be so upset by her betrayal. Three million dollars would be a drop in the ocean for a man as wealthy as him. Lilly’s whimpering drew her attention away from Justin. “Are you hungry, darling?” She was glad to have her thoughts diverted from him. “I’ve got some nice stewed apples for you.” She picked up the baby, put on her bib and proceeded to feed her. “Ooh, yum yum,” Holly said, spooning the apples into the hungry little mouth. When the jar was three quarters empty, Lilly turned her head away. “Come on, be a good girl for mummy. You’ve nearly finished all of it.” With the spoon about an inch away from her mouth, Lilly grabbed it out of Holly’s hand and stared at it for a moment. She squelched her fingers in it and leaned towards Justin. “No.” Holly caught her hand in mid air. The jar dropped to the floor and splattered the contents onto Justin’s highly polished shoes. He growled his annoyance. “I’m sorry.” She leaned down to wipe off the mess. “Leave it,” he snapped. “I’ll do it. A man’s not safe around either of you.” “She didn’t mean it. She’s only a baby.” “I know that.” For God sake, he thought savagely, mother and daughter were both out to 18

Holly And The Millionaire get him. “I’m really sorry, Justin.” The soft, almost intimate way she spoke his name did funny things to his insides. “Don’t worry about it. I overreacted. I’m not used to kids.” “They can be messy.” She handed him a tissue and he leaned over to wipe his shoe. When he straightened up, he had the offending, now empty jar in his hand. “This belongs to you.” He gave a sudden grin. “I hate stewed apples. I was just about force fed them as a kid.” Holly wiped Lilly’s face and hands with a moist tissue. “Porridge is the thing I hate most,” she confessed with a grimace. At the orphanage, we had it without fail every day.” She hadn’t meant to blurt that out. She wasn’t fishing for sympathy. “You were brought up in an orphanage?” “Yes.” She tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice. “They called me Holly because someone dumped me on the doorstep of a convent one Christmas Eve.” He nodded his understanding. “My parents died just after my fifth birthday, but I spent my time in a string of foster homes.” Would foster homes have been as bad as the orphanage? “Were they awful?” “Some were good, others...” He gave a shrug. “Do you remember your parents?” Holly asked. “Vaguely. I heard they were good people, but I didn’t have any relations prepared to take me in.” She understood all too well. She didn’t have any blood relations, absolutely none that she knew about. “That’s what terrifies me.” He watched a shudder pass right through her body and saw her eyes darken to navy. He felt moved to pity, something he couldn’t remember feeling since Brad died. His friend and mentor had helped him make his first million, but he had to sit 19

Margaret Tanner by, helpless, while Brad fell apart because his greedy, cheating wife had crippled him financially and emotionally. “If something happens to me, what will become of Lilly?” Holly tightened her grip protectively around the baby. “What about her father’s people?” Justin reached into the cot and picked up the colorful ring of keys. With a dribbling smile, Lilly snatched them out of his hand and started banging them against the armrest. “Never. She’d be better off in a foster home,” Holly retorted. “They kept telling Robbie I was a worthless trollop, and he was a fool to let me trap him into marriage.” “Did he stick up for you?” Justin didn’t know why he asked that particular question, but he held his breath waiting for her answer, hoping it would be yes. “All the time.” Her expression softened. She looked exquisite, so fragile and ethereal. He felt a strange inexplicable pain in the region of his heart because, for once, someone had loved her. Even if it was only a young soldier doomed to die before he reached his full potential. “After he got killed, I thought it might make a difference, but it didn’t. They hated me even more and became obsessed with getting rid of me and taking Lilly. They tried to make out I was an unfit mother. I got scared the authorities would take Lilly away so I...” “You ran?” “Yes, I couldn’t let them have her. They weren’t nice people. I got out of England because I knew they’d track me down. They’d be relentless, like a pack of bloodhounds.” “You could have fought them in the courts.” “How? I didn’t have any money. I was a nobody. They were part of the establishment. Mr. 20

Holly And The Millionaire Kirwan used to work in the civil service. What chance would somebody like me have against them, after all the lies they told about me? I couldn’t take the risk.” Justin cursed under his breath, berating himself for getting mixed up with this sad, gutsy little waif and her baby. Nevertheless, he pulled a business card out of his wallet and thrust it into her hand. “Here, take this. If you ever need help or legal advice, call me.” “Thank you, but why would you want to help me?” “God knows.” He watched her lips tremble. “Put it down to our common backgrounds.” “I won’t abuse this, Justin. I’d only contact you in an absolute emergency.” “I wouldn’t have given it to you if I thought otherwise.” Was he mad? He already regretted his impulsive action. What if she made demands on him, intruded on his life? He almost asked for the card back, but it was too late. She had slipped it into her handbag. Leaning back in his seat, he closed his eyes. He couldn’t remember when he last did someone a good turn. He couldn’t remember having purposely done anyone a bad turn either. He always gave to charities as long as they didn’t badger him. He ignored Lilly’s incessant banging of the keys on his arm. If he could grab a couple of hours sleep, it would stand him in good stead for getting stuck into work the moment he arrived in Melbourne. A six-week absence was way too long. The banging on his arm stopped. He could feel himself relaxing, drifting away. Holly watched Justin as he slept. The man was an enigma. When he relaxed, the frown lines grooving his mouth and running across his forehead smoothed themselves out. He had surprised her by offering his business 21

Margaret Tanner card. Not that she would ever contact him, but it was somehow comforting to know that someone cared about their welfare, even if it was a total stranger. She was tempted to get the card out to have another look at it but didn’t in case he woke up. Lilly started whimpering again. She was overtired, having not slept properly yesterday because of their desperate flight from the Kirwans. Holly had crammed as much as she could into Lilly’s pink carry bag, pretending to go shopping. Moments before boarding the plane, she rang her in-laws to let them know of her whereabouts, so they wouldn’t contact the police and list her as a missing person. The flight attendants turned the lights down and drew the shades over the windows, which made it easier to give Lilly the breast. “Go to sleep, my darling,” she whispered. “Mummy will be here when you wake up. Mummy will always be here for you, no matter what. They’d have to kill me before I ever let them take you away.” **** Justin woke up. He flexed the cramped muscles in his shoulders and stretched out his legs. What time was it? He switched on his overhead light to check. Midnight. At least he’d got in a couple of hours sleep. He yawned behind his hand. Glancing over at Holly before he switched off the light, he noticed that she slept with Lilly lying peacefully in her arms. He also saw the milky white flesh of her exposed breast and a couple of inches of smooth stomach. What a beautiful picture they made. He thought once more of the Madonna and Child painting. If he ever got the chance, he would buy it in memory of this little waif who had crossed his path, however briefly. Instinct told him Holly would be embarrassed 22

Holly And The Millionaire at showing so much bare flesh, but he didn’t have the right to pull her windcheater back into place. She must have dropped off to sleep while feeding the baby. Should he call the flight attendant? What if the male attendant turned up? The thought of another man looking at her creamy breast made his stomach contract. He leaned down and picked up the airline blanket from near his foot, unfolded it and draped it across the pair of them. He couldn’t understand why he felt so protective toward them. These days he only worried about his own comfort. She slept beautifully, her blonde hair scattered around her face as most of it had escaped from its restraint. Her soft pink lips were pursed ever so slightly. What would they taste like? Sweeter than honey, he fantasized, wondering whether he had been struck down by some kind of madness. Hell, a man could look, couldn’t he? Down boy, he urged his hormones. She isn’t for you. Too young, too sweet, too vulnerable. For God sake, she had recently buried her husband. Infuriated with himself, he switched off the light. He couldn’t sleep—not now anyway. He stood up and did a few stretching exercises before striding down the aisle to the bathroom. When he came back, he tapped Holly on the shoulder. “Are you awake?” “What?” Holly blinked. She must have dozed off while feeding Lilly. “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable if you put her in the cot?” “Yes.” Holly felt as if her arms were ready to snap off. She laid her sleeping daughter in the cot and covered her with a blanket. Thank goodness, she didn’t stir. “You should try and sleep yourself.” “I know, but it’s so uncomfortable,” she said. 23

Margaret Tanner “At least now I know what a sardine feels like.” “Here.” Justin didn’t know why he did it, but he lifted up the armrest between them. “This should give you a little more space.” It amazed him that he could genuinely feel sympathy for this girl. “Come on, lean against me if it’s more comfortable. You’ll need all your strength if little missie wakes up in a stroppy mood.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, I wouldn’t have offered otherwise.” She did need to sleep. The catnap had made her feel even worse than before. “Thanks.” Leaning against his arm, she curled up with her feet on the seat. Justin was a stranger, but it didn’t seem out of place somehow. “No, this is better,” he whispered, moving his arm and draping it around her. It surprised him when she snuggled trustingly into him. She was so vulnerable. Outside the confines of this plane, a big bad world waited to gobble her up. It felt somehow right having her soft warm body pressing against him. He inhaled her perfume—a subtle mixture of roses and something he couldn’t quite put a name to. As she slept, he pulled her even closer, wrapping both arms around her so he could rest his chin on her soft hair. He didn’t know why this felt so right. For now, he didn’t even try to work it out.

24

Holly And The Millionaire

Chapter Three “Good morning, breakfast in ten minutes.” Holly woke up with a start on hearing the flight attendant’s cheery greeting. She couldn’t believe it. She was wrapped up in Justin’s arms. She felt cosseted, safe. Justin wouldn’t let anything hurt her. “Hello, sleepyhead,” he whispered. His eyes were as soft as his voice, a tender caress that she had no right accepting if she valued her sanity. They were transient companions, destined never to meet again once they reached their destination. “Good morning.” She wriggled out of his arms and sat up straight. Her hair was scattered all over her face, and she pushed it behind her ears with a trembling hand. What a wreck she must look. She glanced at Lilly who still slept. If she was quick, she might be able to go to the bathroom and freshen up. “Go to the bathroom if you need to. I’ll make sure little missie doesn’t climb out of the cot if she wakes up.” Justin had taken a liking to Lilly. It pleased her, and not just because she was a doting mother who thought her child beautiful. “Would you? Thanks.” Grabbing up her handbag, she hurried to the washroom. Thank goodness there was only one person ahead of her. She felt grubby and untidy. In the washroom, she brushed her hair, deciding to leave it loose. She cleaned her teeth, 25

Margaret Tanner washed her face and hands and sprinkled on some of the airline’s perfumed skin spray. What she wouldn’t give for a nice hot shower and fresh underwear. When she returned to her seat, Lilly was awake, standing up in her cot. Justin jiggled the colored keys in front of her, almost letting her touch them but pulling away at the last minute, and she squealed with delight. Holly’s heart turned a somersault, and once it righted itself, started pounding. Justin, like a magnet, effortlessly drew her to him. Who said ruthless tycoons didn’t have a softer side? “Thanks for minding her. Looks like you’ve got the touch.” “It was easy.” He flashed a devastating smile. A woman would have to be cast from stone not to respond to such a handsome, virile man. His clothes were rumpled. His jaw and chin were covered with black stubble, yet it didn’t detract from his rugged good looks, but somehow enhanced them. Robbie had been a complete opposite to him, as fair as Justin was dark. It took about three days without shaving for faint golden stubble to appear on his chin. She shouldn’t be comparing the two men. She didn’t have the right. Holly changed and fed Lilly before washing her face and hands with one of the moist towels provided by the airline. By this time, breakfast had arrived. It was much better than the meal they received last night. Sandwiches, a croissant and fruit juice. Holly ate every scrap. It would save her buying more than one meal on their seven-hour stopover in Bangkok. Justin ate his because he was hungry—not to save money. He downed two cups of coffee to her one. **** 26

Holly And The Millionaire They landed in Bangkok. Justin got the pink bag and the fold-up stroller down for her. He only had an overcoat, laptop and briefcase. “I’ll help you get off the plane with all this stuff,” he said. “Thanks.” As soon as they were in the transit lounge, he unfolded the stroller and waited until she strapped Lilly in. Suddenly, a surge of people surrounded them, and Justin disappeared. Holly slung the pink bag over one shoulder and hesitated. Seven hours waiting at the airport, what could she do to fill in time? Wander around the duty free shops admiring things she couldn’t afford to buy? Frantically she looked around for Justin, but he was nowhere to be seen. Stop this dithering, she told herself. You can’t rely on him. He was a stranger who had been kind. She couldn’t ask any more of him. She would never see him again, just read of his exploits in the newspapers. Her limbs felt weighted down with lead. “We’re on our own again, darling,” she told Lilly and started pushing the stroller. The shopping gallery was packed. Several planes must have landed within a short time of each other. She wanted to buy a couple of bottles of water to keep her fluid intake up so her milk supply would be adequate. Lilly didn’t like drinking from a bottle, so breast milk remained her major food source combined with some solids. She didn’t want to do it, but once she found somewhere to live in Melbourne and got a job, she would have to wean Lilly off the breast. So much to do. What an awesome responsibility having a baby completely dependent on one with no backup to call upon in an emergency. Old Mrs. Harris had been good to both her and Robbie when they rented the self-contained 27

Margaret Tanner bungalow in her backyard. Would it still be vacant? Please God that would be an answer to her prayers. It was situated close to Melbourne and was cheap. Mrs. Harris had wanted a tenant, not for money, but for security purposes and to help with the gardening. Robbie used to mow the lawns for her, and Holly did the weeding. No reason why someone young and strong like her couldn’t mow the grass. A poky little apartment in some rundown high-rise would be a horrible environment for Lilly. There were massive waiting lists for governmentsubsidized accommodation. If Mrs. Harris couldn’t help them, what then? Her shoulders slumped, and anxiety and fear pressed down on her again. She felt as if she was being relentlessly hammered into the ground. **** Justin strode out of the airport hotel. Thank goodness he had thought to ring through before leaving London to book a room. A nice hot shower and a shave, and he felt like a new man. He had checked his E-mails. Nothing too pressing there. A decent meal, then he would get stuck into some work. He spotted Holly sitting all alone on a seat. Her head drooped, and her shoulders slumped. It tugged at his heart. He hadn’t given her a second thought after they got separated in the transit lounge, having been too selfishly intent on his own creature comforts. I owe them nothing, he told himself, cursing under his breath as he somehow found himself striding toward them. He couldn’t just walk away and leave the pair of them when they were so vulnerable. “Justin.” Her eyes lit up and chased the shadows away from her face. He felt the strange tug at his heart 28

Holly And The Millionaire again “I tried to find you after we got separated.” How pathetic it sounded. Justin was clean-shaven now. He had showered as his hair fell into damp waves. It made her feel even more disheveled and grubby. “Yeah, sorry about that. I have to confess I couldn’t wait to get to my room at the hotel here. I just assumed you’d be going there too.” He leaned over and ruffled Lilly’s hair. “How are you, little missie?” Gurgling happily, Lilly made a grab for his hand. He let her hold on to his fingers for a moment or two before straightening up. “I’m on my way to get something decent to eat. Come with me.” “No, thanks.” “Why? You didn’t have much on the plane, and you look as if you could do with a bit of fattening up.” “It’s nice of you to ask,” she lowered her voice, feeling hot with humiliation, “but I haven’t got much money.” “Oh, is that all? If I ask a lady out to dine, I always pay.” “It’s nice of you, it really is. You’ve been kind to Lilly and me. I couldn’t impose on you any further.” “You’re not imposing. I don’t like eating alone. You would be doing me a favor.” He tried to leave her with some remnant of pride. “I...I can’t.” “All right,” he snapped, taking offence. “I’ve got the message.” He swung away. “Justin, please I’d like to, but I feel so grubby.” She probably had body odor if the truth were known. He turned back to her. “You should have booked yourself—” Hell, what was wrong with 29

Margaret Tanner him? “I’ll see if I can get you a room. You could have a shower, rest on nice clean sheets for a few hours and let Lilly loose for a while. He picked up the pink bag. “And don’t say you can’t afford it. I’m paying.” “Why are you being so kind to us? We’re strangers.” He shrugged. “I don’t know.” And he didn’t. He felt sorry for them. He had, in fact, felt sympathy for a few people over the years but never went out of his way to help any of them like he was doing with Holly and her baby. What a great idea having a hotel virtually next to the duty free shopping area, she thought. It would be a gold mine. Weary, cashed up travelers in transit wouldn’t mind paying a premium for such comfort. When they got to the hotel reception and Justin asked for a room for them, she could have cried because there were no vacancies. “Nothing at all?” he asked. “No, velly solly, Mr. Develeux,” the girl said in a singsong voice. “Damn.” Typical. If Holly Kirwan looked forward to something nice, it would be snatched away from her. “It’s all right. It was nice of you to offer, but we’ll be okay.” Holly was anything but okay. She was pale and swaying on her feet with fatigue and worry. A man would have to be blind not to see that. “Look.” Another impulsive decision. He grimaced. A man must have rocks in his head. “You’re welcome to share my room.” “Share?” “Yeah.” He grinned impishly. “The room, not the bed.” She gave a nervous giggle. Butterflies swirled 30

Holly And The Millionaire around in the pit of her stomach at the thought of sharing a room with Justin. “Is it all right if Mrs. Kirwan and her baby use the shower and the spare bed in my room?” He took out a fifty-dollar note and handed it over with a smile. “For you.” “Thank you, thank you.” The receptionist bowed her head deferentially. “Is okay.” “I guess that means she’s accepted my bribe and it is okay for you to stay.” Justin laughed. “Thanks.” Holly touched his arm. “I wish I had some way of repaying your kindness.” “Come on. You can have a shower and attend to little missie’s needs before joining me for lunch.” The hotel room wasn’t luxurious, but appeared spotlessly clean and well fitted out. Travelers staying here were obviously prepared to sacrifice a five-star rating for the convenience of not having to leave the airport. A large armchair separated the two king size single beds. There was a television, refrigerator and coffee-making facilities. More importantly, it had a bathroom. Holly dumped her things on the floor. She hadn’t put much in the bag for herself, just a couple of T-shirts and underclothing. It would be summer in Australia, so she could buy a couple of inexpensive skirts and blouses to tide her over until her finances improved. Justin turned away as she delved in the bag for what she wanted. She would give Lilly a wash and change her clothes when they got back from lunch. She didn’t want to hold him up too long. “Leave her here,” he said. “I’ll keep an eye on her.” “Thanks. She’ll be all right in the stroller for a while longer.” Holly hurried into the bathroom to take a shower. There wasn’t a bath, but she could bathe 31

Margaret Tanner Lilly in the large hand basin. What bliss standing under warm water and feeling it running down over her body. She found an unopened tablet of soap to use. There was no shampoo, but washing her hair in soap for once wouldn’t matter. She didn’t dally, as it wasn’t fair to hold Justin up. She dried herself and pulled on her jeans and a pale pink T-shirt with a rose embroidered on the front. Running a brush through her hair to get the tangles out of it, she wished there was time to use the hairdryer. She grimaced at her appearance as she applied some pink lipstick and eye shadow. She appeared presentable, but only just. When she returned to the bedroom, Justin sat at the dressing table tapping away on his laptop. Lilly stood up holding on to his knee. “Mumma.” She gave a toothy, dribbling grin. “Were you good for Justin?” Holly picked up Lilly and swung her around a couple of times. “She was all right. Weren’t you, missie?” After saving his work, he exited the screen. “Thanks. I feel like a new woman.” Holly smiled at him. Had she heard him catch his breath? Of course not. Her imagination must be in overdrive. “You didn’t take long.” He snapped the lid down on the laptop and stood up. The silicone-enhanced beauties orbiting around Justin’s airspace would take hours perfecting their appearance she thought. Spend a fortune on it as well. She strapped Lilly into the stroller. “We’re ready.” “Good, I’m hungry. What would you like— Asian or English food?” “Sausages, eggs, bacon and tomato, if it is possible to find such a thing, but you choose.” She laughed, feeling lighthearted for the first time 32

Holly And The Millionaire since Robbie died. It wasn’t being disloyal to his memory to have lunch with another man or to enjoy masculine company, surely? Robbie, a generous kind-hearted person in life, wouldn’t begrudge her finding any scraps of happiness she could now that he was dead. “It’s just lunch. He wouldn’t mind,” Justin said, and Holly felt the dreaded hot flush come to her cheeks once more. “Was I that transparent?” “You have expressive eyes. They’re the mirror of your soul.” “Is that all?” She smiled. “I thought you were a mind reader.” “I wish.” He gave a deep-throated chuckle. They went upstairs to a small French restaurant, not much more than a café really. It contained bamboo tables and chairs. Huge potted ferns graced the room. There were numerous people here with children. Holly thought that was probably why Justin chose it. The five-star restaurant downstairs would be more his style. “They don’t have sausages,” he said, glancing down the menu that was written in French. “I don’t want snails or frogs legs, but anything else that’s not too exotic will do.” He grinned. “Their specialty is omelets. Tomato, cheese, spring onion and ham or—” “An omelet sounds good. I’m not adventuresome when it comes to food, I’m afraid. Robbie would try anything, but I always stuck to the tried and true. You don’t get disappointed then.” “Is that the way you lead your life?” He touched her hand. “Not taking chances?” “Yes. When you don’t have much, you can’t afford to lose what you have got.” “I’m the opposite—a risk junky when it comes 33

Margaret Tanner to business. Shall I order anything for Lilly?” “No, she can nibble at some of mine. I’ll feed her once we get back to the room.” A waiter brought over a bottle of water and put it on the table. Without speaking, he waited for Justin to order. “I’m having a seafood omelet. Strawberry crepes for dessert?” He cocked an eyebrow. “Yes, sounds great.” “We’ll have coffee too. Thanks.” “I’ll never forget how kind you’ve been to us.” Holly touched his hand. “You’ve restored my faith in humanity.” He gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. “What are you going to do when you get back home?” “Find somewhere to live and then get a job.” She lifted the glass and took a sip of the cool water. “What do you do? I mean, what work skills do you have?” “I’m an audio-typist. Well, I used to be before I got married. I typed out medical reports. I suppose my speeds have dropped, but I used to be fast. I’ve got excellent references.” “Have you heard of Glen Fern Private Hospital?” “Hasn’t everyone in Melbourne? It’s one of the most prestigious hospitals in the country.” He nodded in agreement. “My company owns it.” “Really?” “Yes. I’ll give your name to their recruitment department. If you want a job, they’ll find you something.” A warm feeling swept over her, a heartfelt gratitude because he cared. He genuinely wanted to help. “Thank you. I won’t let you down. I promise.” Should she tell him she once worked for one of his subsidiary companies? “Ah, here’s our food.” 34

Holly And The Millionaire The chance was lost, but she could mention it later. The omelet looked delicious. It was soft, fluffy and a deep golden yellow. She ate with enjoyment, feeding Lilly a few pieces off her fork. “Mmm. This is good.” “Not bad,” he agreed. If the omelets tasted good, the crepes were to die for. They were so light they almost floated off her spoon. The strawberry sauce quite the nicest she had ever tasted. “You’re spoiling me,” she enthused, and he laughed. Dear God, she was so refreshing, so lovely and naïve, he had trouble believing it. She belonged to a long dead era when women were decent and trustworthy. Holly Kirwan spelt danger with a capital ‘D’. She represented something he wanted no part of. He didn’t need a woman in his life who had to be nurtured and looked after, especially one with a baby. He didn’t have the time or inclination to be bothered. He only wanted hot, commitment-free sex when he felt in the mood. Better for both of them if he stuck to selfish, brittle sophisticates who knew the score. “I really enjoyed this. Thank you.” Holly wondered why he suddenly looked morose and brooding. Whatever his thoughts, they were unpleasant. Did he regret asking them to dine with him? Perhaps embarrassed because Lilly squashed tidbits of omelet in her hand before eating them? “Have you finished?” he asked abruptly, picking up the bill. “Look.” Holly twisted a strand of hair anxiously around her finger. “I’m sorry about Lilly’s eating habits. They are rather disgusting, but she’s only a baby.” 35

Margaret Tanner “What?” He gave her puzzled scowl. “The baby’s eating habits—” “Let’s get out of here.” He strode over to the counter, leaving Holly to follow in his wake, struggling to maneuver the stroller between the tables and chairs. With barely concealed impatience, he waited outside for them. What had they done to aggravate him? If it wasn’t Lilly’s messy eating, then what? “Do you want me to pay my share of the meal?” “No,” he barked. She jumped nervously “Why have you gone cold on us?” “Sorry.” He thrust his fingers through his hair and took a couple of deep steadying breaths. “I can be a moody bastard sometimes.” He didn’t speak as they made their way past the duty-free shops crammed with colorful, expensive merchandise. The scent of French perfume wafted on the air, heady as wine. They caught the elevator up to the second floor. With an economy of movement, he opened the door with the magnetic key card. He stepped back so she could enter first, studiously avoiding any physical contact with her whatsoever. She didn’t know how to heal the rift opening up like a chasm between them. “Do what you have to for the baby. I’ve got a couple of calls to make then I want to try and get some sleep.” He pulled out his mobile phone, and she knew she had been dismissed. She lugged the pink bag and Lilly into the bathroom. Why Justin’s anger should upset her was a mystery. But why he was angry was an even greater mystery. Laying a towel on the floor, she undressed Lilly. Good thing she was going to give her a bath as she had dirtied her nappy. 36

Holly And The Millionaire “You’re a little stinky bum,” she crooned, cleaning up the mess. Holly washed the hand basin out to make sure it was clean then wiped it over with the antiseptic impregnated cloth she always carried as double insurance against germs. Filling up the basin with warm water, she sat Lilly in it. The baby loved her bath. She shrieked and kicked, splashing water everywhere. It was a good fifteen minutes before they were ready to venture out to the bedroom once more. Hopefully, Justin would be asleep, although with Lilly’s racket, it would be hard for him. He lay on his back under the sheet, his head resting on one arm, the other arm hanging over the side of the bed. In repose, he looked peaceful. The harsh lines previously etched around his mouth were gone. She hadn’t noticed it before, but he had thick dark eyelashes. She shouldn’t be noticing it now either. Stripping off her jeans, she climbed into bed and gave Lilly her breast. Hopefully, she would fall asleep sucking as she often did. A few hours rest in a nice air-conditioned room would be a lifesaver for both of them. **** Something woke Holly up. Her first thought was for Lilly, but the baby slept soundly. It was Justin moving around. Her bra was still undone, her T-shirt rolled up exposing her breasts. She tidied herself before sitting up. “Sorry if I woke you,” he apologized. “Is it time to go?” She swung her legs out of bed. “Your flight isn’t leaving for another ten hours. There’s been a delay.” “Oh?” His laptop was in its carry bag, his briefcase 37

Margaret Tanner and coat rested on the dressing table, and he was fully clothed. He wasn’t wearing the cashmere jumper now but a beige short-sleeved polo shirt. “You’re leaving?” “Yes, I’m needed in Sydney urgently, so I changed flights.” Holly jumped up, forgetting she wore only a bra, T-shirt and lacy V-string briefs. “Don’t worry. I’ve paid for the room and asked them to give you a wake-up call.” “You were going to sneak away without saying goodbye?” She couldn’t understand why she felt so hurt. “I would have left a note. Goodbye, Holly. Good luck.” He turned away to pick up his things. “Wait.” She hurtled across the room. “Thank you for being so kind.” She leaned over to kiss his cheek. Somehow, she miscalculated and caught him on the mouth. Justin exhaled a noisy breath. He stiffened momentarily before clamping his arms around her, slamming her against his hard, gym-toned body. “I’ve wanted to do this for hours,” he groaned, taking her lips. They were just as soft and sweet as he dreamed they would be. He deepened the kiss. Instead of pushing him away as he thought she might, she opened her mouth to give his tongue deeper access, letting him taste at will. And taste her he did—thoroughly, deeply. His impatient tongue explored her mouth now, savoring it, drawing out all its purity but still wanting more. His head told him this was madness, his libido said otherwise. He felt her nipples thrusting against his chest. He smelled her special woman’s scent. He was intoxicated with it, intoxicated with her. Sliding his hand up under her T-shirt, he worked on her front opening bra with frantic, desperate fingers. If he couldn’t suckle the tight 38

Holly And The Millionaire rosy bud like Lilly did, he feared he might die. “Mumma.” “Hell.” Dumping Holly on the bed, Justin turned away, and she heard him mutter. “A man must have bloody rocks in his head.” Holly wanted to say something but didn’t know what. She felt too shaken up by her heated response to him. What would have happened if Lilly hadn’t woken up? Robbie was barely cold in his grave, and she was betraying him with another man. Maybe she was a trollop like April Kirwan said. Justin snatched up his things. “Goodbye. Hope everything works out for you.” The door opened, then shut with a loud click, and she was left alone with Lilly. What must he think of her behavior? She was promiscuous? Trying to trap him into something? He couldn’t know Robbie had spent most of his time away from them before he died. In all the weeks they lived in England, they had never spent longer than a few hours together at a time because of the specialist training he undertook. It wasn’t an excuse. She picked up Lilly and cuddled her close. She should be ashamed of herself, betraying Robbie’s memory and forgetting what they had shared by falling into the arms of the first man who came along and showed her a little kindness. After she made the first move, did Justin decide he wanted to be repaid with sex? She couldn’t believe he would be so despicable. The most logical explanation was that, like her, he lost his head. They had been sharing a room together. Both were jet lagged. Who was she trying to kid? It was lust, pure and simple. The age-old urge to mate. His girlfriend had dumped him. Her husband had been tragically killed, but that didn’t make it 39

Margaret Tanner right for them to kiss so passionately. She was ashamed of her wanton behavior. She could have stopped it. Justin wasn’t the kind of man who forced himself on a woman. His wealth and rugged good looks had proven to be a powerful magnet, and like all the other women who flocked around him, she hadn’t been strong enough to defy its pull.

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Chapter Four Melbourne at last. As Holly made her way through customs at Tullamarine Airport, she breathed a sigh of relief. They didn’t have any baggage to collect. Lilly’s pink bag held everything they possessed. Lilly had been fractious a good deal of the way until she finally fell into an exhausted sleep. This respite gave Holly a chance to make some decisions. She would ring Mrs. Harris from the airport to see if the bungalow where they used to live was vacant. After they got through customs, she went over to the money exchange and changed her English pounds into Australian dollars. She found a public telephone and dialed Mrs. Harris’s number with trembling fingers. The old lady answered it immediately. “Hello, it’s Holly Kirwan.” “Holly, my dear, how are you? I read about poor Robbie in the papers. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.” “Thank you. It was awful. I’m back in Melbourne now with Lilly. I don’t suppose the bungalow would still be vacant?” “It is, dear, but the house has been sold. I’m moving to Queensland to be closer to my daughter.” “Oh no,” Holly cried. “I’m looking for somewhere to stay until I sort myself out.” “You’re welcome to stay until I go. I’ll be glad of the company. How’s the baby?” 41

Margaret Tanner “She’s good, almost walking. I’ll get a taxi and come straight away.” **** Mrs. Harris waited on the verandah for them, a concerned smile on her motherly face. “How are you, dear?” She hurried forward and gave Holly a hug. “I’m okay. How are you?” “Not too bad. So, this is Lilly? My, she has grown into a sweet little cherub.” Inside the house, which always smelt of lavender and beeswax polish, Mrs. Harris insisted on making a pot of tea. “Where’s your luggage?” “This is all I have.” She found herself telling the kindly woman the whole miserable saga. “What a disgrace those people are. You’re much better off without them.” “I know, but it’s so hard on my own. I’m not very brave.” Holly blinked back hot tears, despising herself for being so weak and pathetic but feeling better for having confided in someone. “Look, dear, after you’ve finished your tea, you can make the bed up in the bungalow. I’ve got plenty of spare blankets and linen you can borrow. In fact, you can keep them. I have to get rid of a lot of stuff before I move.” “Thanks, you’re a life saver.” The same as Justin, she thought with a sad little twinge because they would never meet again. “If you don’t mind my asking, are you getting some kind of war widow’s benefit from the British government?” “Not yet. I filled out some papers in England after Robbie died and his father promised to forward them to the pension people. He took over my affairs because I was too upset to stop him. He said my application could take a long time to be processed.” 42

Holly And The Millionaire “It’s been seven months? I doubt if he ever lodged them, dear, given what you’ve told me.” Of course he wouldn’t have sent them in. She should have realized this sooner instead of blaming the government for being slow to pay up. The Kirwans wanted her to be starved of funds so they could say she wasn’t fit to look after Lilly. “You’re right. How could I have been so gullible?” “Stop beating yourself up about it. You were vulnerable, and they took advantage of it. Write to the Veteran Affairs Department here. I can give you their address. I’m sure they would have reciprocal arrangements with the British pension people.” “Thanks, I will.” Why hadn’t she thought of that? Mrs. Harris disappeared and returned within minutes carrying an armful of blankets, sheets and towels. Holly picked up the faithful pink bag, rested it on the hood of the stroller, and followed Mrs. Harris out of the house. The garden looked the same as she remembered—full of roses, lavender and other perfumed shrubs. The lawns and garden beds were a little overgrown. Holly shut her eyes and momentarily saw Robbie, stripped to the waist, his blonde hair gleaming in the sun, and pushing Mrs. Harris’s old-fashioned manual lawn mower one last time. How young and strong he had looked that morning, a mere five hours before they left for the airport. Invincible, they both thought. Fools that they were. Unbeknownst to them, the angel of death already hovered over Robbie’s head. “It looks the same,” Holly exclaimed, feeling a sudden surge of optimism. A couple of weeks here until she sorted herself out, and things would get better. She had known the love of a kind, brave young 43

Margaret Tanner man, with Lilly the product of their union. How many women lost their husbands and were left with nothing except grief and heartache? She had also met a kind man named Justin. A transient meeting maybe, but he had left an impression on her. “I’ll leave you to get settled in, dear. If you need milk or anything, just come and help yourself even if I’m not there. I’ll give you a house key. Harry still runs his convenience store around the corner.” “Thanks, I’ll be fine. I’ll never forget how kind you’ve been to us.” “I’m an old woman, so I couldn’t offer to mind Lilly while you go out to work, but I could manage to see to her for a couple of hours while you go for a job interview She would be safe with me.” Holly felt a rush of emotion. What a kindly soul she was. As soon as Mrs. Harris left, Holly lifted Lilly out of the stroller and sat her on the floor. “You spent your first few weeks of life here, darling, with Daddy and me.” Lilly got down on her hands and knees and started crawling around to explore. Holly shut the door so she couldn’t escape. She made up the bed. The linen and blankets smelt of mothballs. Lilly could sleep with her in the comfortable double bed where she had been conceived in what seemed another lifetime. It felt surreal. **** Holly dubiously entered the charity shop run by the Salvation Army. If she could pick up a few clothes for them here, it would save a fortune. How demeaning having to buy secondhand clothes, she thought as she flicked through the racks. She couldn’t find much in size eight, but she finally chose a black skirt, a navy pair of slacks and four blouses in an assortment of colors and 44

Holly And The Millionaire material. They were in good condition. She would have to mix and match, in an endeavor to make her wardrobe appear more extensive. Now for Lilly’s wardrobe. The smell of old books and a musty damp fur smell permeated the air. Thankfully, the baby clothes were in excellent near-new condition. Their total bill came to sixty dollars. A bargain for the amount of stuff they bought—two quite large bags filled to the brim. Harry, the elderly owner of the convenience store, smiled when Holly entered the shop. “Hello. Are you back with Mrs. Harris?” “Yes, I’m staying in the bungalow until she moves.” “She told me about your husband being killed. I’m sorry, love.” “Thank you.” Holly bit her trembling lip, not knowing what else to say. “Could you keep an eye on the stroller if I leave it here?” “Yeah, take one of the trolleys. You can sit the little one in it.” A quick glance around confirmed her worst fears; things were expensive. She could only afford to buy the basics. After paying for her groceries, she had just over a hundred dollars left to last for goodness only knew how long. It was the last of the money she had drawn out of her bank account a couple of days before fleeing England. That’s when she discovered the true extent of Bob Kirwan’s treachery. Robbie’s army pay and the special allowance she received because of his death had been tied up in a special trust account for Lilly. Why had she signed all those papers without reading them first? She didn’t begrudge Lilly having the money, but they needed some of it now. She had nothing to show from nearly two years of marriage, except for Lilly, poignant memories and a few photographs. 45

Margaret Tanner **** Holly’s fingers trembled as she dialed Glen Fern’s number. Their future depended on this call. “Glen Fern Private Hospital,” said a husky female voice. “Hi, I’m Holly Kirwan. Justin Devereux suggested I ring Glen Fern. I’m looking for a job and he said you might have a vacancy.” “I’ll put you through to our recruitment department.” Holly heard a click followed by a male voice. “Owen Hamilton speaking. Mr. Devereux told me to expect a call from you. How about coming in for an interview tomorrow, say ten o’clock?” “Thank you, I’ll be there.” Relief flooded over her. Justin had proved to be an honorable man who kept his word. A job interview. She gave a little excited skip. “There you are, dear,” Mrs. Harris said. “I told you everything would work out fine. I’ll mind Lilly for you.” “Are you sure? I mean, she can be quite a handful.” “I can cope for a couple of hours, even if I have to take her for a walk in the stroller to keep her occupied.” “Thanks, you’re a life saver. Um, Mrs. Harris, I feel terrible about this when you’ve been so kind already, but could I leave it for a few days before I pay you some rent. I had to buy clothes for myself and Lilly at the Salvation Army charity shop.” “How humiliating for you. It makes my blood boil, to think a young war widow with a baby has to buy secondhand clothing. It’s a disgrace,” Mrs. Harris said fiercely. “You get that letter written and into Veteran Affairs. Don’t worry about the rent. Pay me when you can.” **** Holly dressed in the black skirt and the blue 46

Holly And The Millionaire silk blouse for her interview. She brushed her hair and let it hang loosely about her shoulders. Thank goodness she had remembered to bring her resume back from England with her. Lilly was quite happy to stay with Mrs. Harris. She seemed fascinated with the cat, stroking it and shrieking with glee every time it meowed. Holly caught a train to the hospital, which was less than thirty minutes away. A brisk walk brought her to an imposing heritage building. The massive front doors were made from multi-colored leadlight panels. A huge basket-shaped chandelier hung in the foyer. It seemed more like a luxury hotel than a hospital, she thought, nervously walking over parquetry floors to the reception desk. “I’m Holly Kirwan. I have an appointment with Mr. Hamilton.” The attractive young woman in her designer clothes made Holly feel shabby in her charity shop garb. Sophistication would have to be this fashion plate’s second name. “Take the elevator up to the third floor. Mr. Hamilton’s office is just off to the right. You can’t miss it.” She gave Holly a long, speculative look. “Thank you.” The elevator, a rounded, clear-glassed affair, had lots of shiny brass work. When she stepped out on the third floor, her feet literally sank into the soft burgundy carpet. Luxury personified. She knocked on a door with ‘Owen Hamilton’ printed in gold lettering. “Come in,” a male voice instructed. As she entered the room, she noticed a large desk with a flat screen computer on it. A tall young man came toward her. She took his soft, pampered hand. He had obviously never done a day’s manual labor in his life. 47

Margaret Tanner “Well, Holly, so you’re Justin’s friend.” Because she didn’t know what Justin had said about her, she decided to keep her answer simple. “Yes, I am.” Owen Hamilton looked to be about thirty. Immaculately dressed in a navy designer suit and pale blue shirt, he wore a diamond stud in one ear. His spiky brown hair had blond tips. By the slight swagger and cheesy smile, she instinctively knew this man thought he was God’s gift to women. He tightened his grip on her hand a fraction, jamming her fingers together. “How long have you known Justin?” “Not very long,” she tried not to sound too evasive. Owen stood with his legs splayed and hips thrust forward in an intimidating, predatory stance. It was the strangest interview she’d ever attended. He briefly scanned her resume but seemed more interested in her breasts than anything else. “There’s a temporary vacancy in the Radiology Department for three days a week.” “Sounds perfect. I do have some radiology terminology, and I’ve got good typing speeds. I’d be happy to do a test for you.” “It’s not necessary. Your references seem in order. Anyway, if Justin wants you to work here, the job is yours on a trial basis.” Her heart leapt. Because of Justin’s intervention, she had a job. “Thank you, Mr. Hamilton, you can’t know what this means to me.” “Owen, please. We don’t stand on formality here. You mentioned having a child.” “Yes, I’ll have to arrange suitable childcare for Lilly.” “We have a free staff crèche here. You’re welcome to use it if you want to.” 48

Holly And The Millionaire Holly couldn’t believe her good luck. Thinking positive had done the trick. “Thank you. When can I start?” “Day after tomorrow, if you like. Do you have a special man in your life at present, Holly?” “That’s not really relevant to my job,” she answered, feeling increasingly uneasy. She didn’t have a good feeling about Owen, but once she got to Radiology, their paths need never cross again. He gave a conspiratorial wink. “I hope you’re not harboring any thoughts about Justin. He’s fickle. His interest span in women is notoriously short.” Would Justin have intimated they were more than friends? She needed to get Owen’s mind back on the interview...fast. “What about wages?” He fumbled around in his desk drawer and picked up a plastic-covered book. “We pay above the award.” He mentioned a quite generous figure. “Sounds fair, especially with the free childcare.” “Yes, the crèche is one of the many perks for staff working at Glen Fern.” She didn’t like the way he emphasized the word many. Apprehension crawled up her spine. Don’t let your imagination run wild. You’ll be working in Radiology, not here with this sleazebag. She tried to retain her composure. She needed a job with child minding facilities. Needed a job where she could start straight away, and this was it. An almost destitute mother with a baby couldn’t be choosy. “I’m sure you’ll find us easy...to work for. A pretty young woman can go a long way in this hospital if she plays her cards right. Do the right thing by me, Holly, and you can be sure I won’t forget it.” She swallowed down on a lump of disquiet. 49

Margaret Tanner “Thanks Mr., um…Owen.” “Good, good. Report to reception day after tomorrow at nine o’clock. They’ll tell you where Radiology is.” “Could I check out the crèche facilities now? I mean, if they aren’t suitable, I’d have to make other arrangements.” “It’s next door.” He fingered his silk tie. “It looks like a shop front, but it’s not. Refer them to me if you have any problems.” “Thanks. You can’t know how grateful I am. You won’t be sorry.” “I’m sure I won’t be.” He gave a conspiratorial smirk. “I think we understand each other perfectly.” As she left the office, Holly tried to squash down on her doubts. Her heightened state of nerves made her suspect a hidden meaning in every word he uttered. After alighting from the elevator, she passed through the leadlight doors leading on to the street. “Teddy Bears’ Picnic,” she read out loud. She couldn’t see inside as yellow blinds sprinkled with pink and blue teddy bears covered the window. “Hi, I’m Holly Kirwan,” she spoke into the intercom. “I’m starting work at Glen Fern and would like to discuss child minding with you, please.” The door opened, and a middle-aged woman wearing a pale pink uniform greeted her with a smile. “Hello, Holly. I’ve just received a call from Mr. Hamilton about you. I’m Cheryl.” “How nice of him. I can start working day after tomorrow if I arrange suitable childcare for my daughter, Lilly.” “How old is she?” “Eleven months. I’m still breast feeding and...” “You could come down in your lunch hour and feed her.” 50

Holly And The Millionaire “Yes, I hoped I could. Can you show me around, please? I’m anxious to get home. I left an elderly neighbor minding Lilly, and I don’t want to impose too much on her kindness.” The crèche appeared spotlessly clean, well laid out, and Holly instantly felt comfortable about leaving Lilly here. “It’s perfect for Lilly. You would have a place for her?” “Yes, we cater for twenty children at a time. Bring her along tomorrow, and we’ll work out all the finer details then.”

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Chapter Five At home, Lilly had fallen asleep on the couch, and Mrs. Harris sat watching television. At home. It sounded good to be able to say that. “How did it go?” “Good, I got the job and the employer-funded child minding center is nice. I’m sure Lilly will like it there.” “See, dear. I told you everything would work out. Make sure you send a letter off to the pension people though. If the job doesn’t work out or Lilly isn’t happy, you still have some income.” “I’ll do it today. I hope she wasn’t any trouble.” “No, the cat kept her entertained for most of the time. Wore her out, I think.” Mrs. Harris chuckled. “She dropped off to sleep about half an hour ago.” “Thank you for everything. As soon as I get paid, I’ll start giving you rent.” “Don’t worry about the rent. If you help me pack, it will be more than enough payment.” “I’ll be happy to help, but I’ll still pay you some rent.” “Don’t think I’m an old busy-body, but I took the liberty of speaking to the real estate agent, and explained about you.” Mrs. Harris twisted her wedding ring around. “The new owners are happy for you to stay on for a while. They’re prepared to negotiate a nominal rent in return for you keeping an eye on the place.” Holly couldn’t hide her delight. “That would be perfect. I could make sure the letter box is cleared, 52

Holly And The Millionaire even keep the garden tidy.” She gave Mrs. Harris a spontaneous hug. “What a terrific day it’s been.” Her luck appeared to be changing at long last. A new job, a crèche for Lilly, and somewhere to stay—all achieved within one glorious day. She felt so excited she wanted to share the good news around. Justin. “Would you mind if I use your phone, Mrs. Harris? I’d like to ring a...a friend. He put in a good word for me at Glen Fern.” “Of course not, dear. I’m just going to pop down the street. Need anything?” “No, thanks.” Butterflies fluttered around in the pit of her stomach as her trembling hand reached for the phone. What if Justin was busy? Worse still, what if he didn’t want to be bothered with them? Silly to think he would have anything but a passing interest in a widow with a small child. “Good afternoon, Justin Devereux’s office,” said a brisk, no-nonsense female voice. “Could you put me through to Justin, please? She tried to sound articulate and professional. “I’m sorry. Mr. Devereux isn’t taking any calls at present.” “I’m sure he’d speak to me. It’s important,” she lied. “Holly Kirwan’s my name.” “I’ll put you on hold and check with him.” Holly waited, clutching the phone like a lifeline as she listened to soft background music. What if he didn’t want to speak to her? She couldn’t understand why the thought upset her so much. She heard a click followed by Justin saying, “Hello, Holly. How are you?” “Good, how are you?” They sounded like two polite acquaintances meeting in an elevator. “I just rang to thank you about Glen Fern,” she babbled. “I got the job.” 53

Margaret Tanner “Congratulations. How’s Lilly?” “Fine. Everything seems to be falling into place for us. I was able to move back where I used to live, too.” She gave a breathy little laugh. “You must be my good luck charm.” “I don’t know about that.” He laughed—a deep throaty chuckle that did funny things to her insides. “I...I just wanted to let you know.” Surely she could come up with something better than that. She tried to think of some smart follow-up line, and drew a complete blank. “We’ll have to celebrate. How about coming out to dinner with me tonight? We could go to Maximums,” he suggested. “Maximums?” She tried to hide her disappointment. He had chosen one of the most exclusive restaurants in Melbourne, and she had nothing suitable to wear. “They do fabulous seafood. You’d love it.” “I’d like to go, but there’s Lilly…” she trailed off forlornly. “Oh, I forgot.” She could almost hear him drumming his fingers on the desk. “I’ll take you to lunch then, at some child-friendly place.” “Oh, yes, I’d like that,” she agreed eagerly, too eagerly because it made her sound desperate. She couldn’t help it. She had never been good at playing hard to get. “When?” “Tomorrow.” He sounded eager too, and her heart did an excited triple somersault. “There’s a new place just opened up around the corner from work. I remember seeing a pamphlet about it. Fabulous Freddie’s, your family friendly fish and chippery. Holly laughed. “Sounds just the place for Lilly and me.” “I’m sorry, I have to go. I’m up to my neck in 54

Holly And The Millionaire work at the moment.” “I didn’t mean to bother you.” “You’re not a bother. You just caught me at a bad time. I’ll meet you at Freddie’s tomorrow at one o’clock. It’s in Russell Street, between Collins and Bourke.” “I’ll find it. Until tomorrow, Justin.” “Goodbye. I’m glad you rang.” The line went dead. Had she done the right thing by ringing him up out of the blue? He sounded keen to see her again, but what if he was just being kind. She wasn’t in his league and never would be. She had no confidence in herself any more. The loss of Robbie and the way the Kirwans wore her down had made sure of that. **** She found Fabulous Freddie’s easily. You’d have to be blind to miss the huge bright blue fish painted on the window with an anchor covered in red and white glitter. Justin hadn’t arrived, but she was ten minutes early. The restaurant seemed quite full. There were a couple of high chairs, so the place catered to children. As she debated about going inside, Justin strode toward them, every inch the executive in a charcoal gray suit. It was molded to the contours of his body, but so perfectly tailored, it didn’t look tight. He wore a pale blue shirt with a burgundy and gray geometric design tie. Silk by the look of it. What a gorgeous specimen of manhood. His wide, white-toothed smile made excitement curl in the pit of her stomach. Her pulse raced. She forced herself to stand still. Gratitude didn’t give her the right to rush toward him and throw herself into his arms. Justin hated crassness in any shape or form— always had. Understated elegance was his 55

Margaret Tanner preference every time, yet when he spied Holly in hipster jeans and a pink top that left her midriff bare, his heart leapt. A tremulous smile hovered on her sweet, wellshaped lips, and at this very moment, he didn’t care about Freddie’s garishness. God, she looked so beautiful in simple chain store clothes. He couldn’t begin to imagine what designer label dresses would do for her. Lilly looked cute as a button too, in a pink dress. Her eyes were wide and blue, just like Holly’s, and she had the same creamy skin and dainty facial features. Holly’s hair was dead straight. Lilly’s was inclined to curl. A legacy from her father perhaps? He didn’t know why, but every time he thought of the young dead soldier, his gut clenched. The tragic loss of a young life, of course. But it was more. Jealousy of what he and Holly had shared? The thought stopped him dead in his tracks. He was entering dangerous territory, and if he had even half a brain, he would turn tail and run for his life. When she started toward him, he was lost. “Justin.” The way she said his name, in a soft almost husky sigh, robbed him of coherent thought. “Holly.” He kissed her on the cheek, brushing his hand down the length of her soft, flyaway hair. “How are two of my favorite girls doing?” He patted Lilly on the cheek. “Let’s sit over here, near the window,” he suggested. “Should I grab a high chair for Lilly?” “Yes thanks.” After settling Lilly in the high chair, Holly slid into the bench-type seat opposite Justin. She watched him pick up the menu and scan it with a brief sweep of his eyes. It didn’t take a mind reader to know he wasn’t impressed. When a waiter came up they ordered two servings of fish and chips, and a cup of coffee each. 56

Holly And The Millionaire “Tell me about the job,” he said as soon as the waiter moved away. “I’ll be working three days a week in the Radiology Department to start with, and the crèche for Lilly seems nice.” “Good. I don’t know Owen personally, but his father is a long-time business friend of mine. A pillar of society. His mother is big on the charity scene too.” Holly tried not to let her distaste show. She couldn’t pass aspersions on Owen’s character when Justin held his parents in such high esteem. Their food arrived. Pre-cooked, chock-full of calories and cholesterol, just the way she liked it. As she tucked in hungrily, Justin cut off a tiny piece of fish and put it in his mouth. “Plastic knives and forks,” he complained with a grimace. “Must be a bit of a comedown from the silver cutlery you’re used to,” she teased. “Yeah.” He gave a rueful grin. “Ooh, this is nice. I love salty fish and chips.” “It will clog our arteries, and we’ll probably put on a couple of stone in weight.” “I never put on any weight,” she boasted. “I can eat anything, and you look like a gym junky.” She blew on a chip to cool it down before giving it to Lilly who scrunched it up between her fingers. “I don’t know about being a junky, but I do believe in keeping fit. No, little missie.” He caught Lilly’s hand in midair as she went to rub the squashed-up chip on his arm. “I don’t want to go back to work wearing your lunch, you messy little thing.” He favored Lilly with one of his cute grins as he wiped her hand on a paper serviette. What would a child of Justin’s be like, Holly wondered? She couldn’t believe she was behaving so idiotically. Glancing up, she noticed a young 57

Margaret Tanner soldier watching them through the window, and a sudden cold wave swept over her. Justin watched in shock as the color drained from Holly’s face. Like a candle being snuffed out, the light faded from her eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He picked up her hands. They felt icy cold. “Ghosts from my past,” she whispered, staring straight ahead. He glanced around just in time to see a young soldier walking by. Did Holly think he was an apparition from the grave? An inexplicable chill momentarily froze him to the bone, and a surge of compassion flooded over him. “Oh, honey.” He picked up her hand and ran the flat of his thumb across her knuckles. He saw the tears building up in her eyes and watched her valiant effort to blink them away. Leaning across the narrow table, he kissed her on the forehead. “It will get easier as time passes, I promise.” He made to pull away, but she wrapped her arms around his neck, and her trembling lips parted. No power on earth could have stopped him from accepting her invitation. His mouth closed over hers, tentative at first, but when he felt her response, he deepened the kiss, using his tongue to explore more fully. Her lips tasted salty. He wasn’t disappointed though. She was all and more than he remembered—sweet and unsullied. A bewitching cocktail of innocence and guile. Danger. A red light flashed inside his head, but he ignored it. When he finally dragged his mouth away and sat up straight in his seat, his heart beat so fast he felt like he had run a marathon. He could scarcely breathe, and Holly’s breasts rapidly rose and fell. Delicate pink tinged her cheeks. Her eyes were wide with bewilderment. “You’re the only man who could ever make me forget Robbie,” she confessed, putting out a 58

Holly And The Millionaire trembling hand to caress the side of his jaw. Bad move, Devereux. You should have kept your hands and lips to yourself. You don’t want commitment. More important, you don’t want to step into the shoes of a dead hero. How could he extricate himself without hurting Holly? The situation could spiral out of control if he didn’t call a halt to things right now. Babies and vulnerable young widows desperate to be loved didn’t fit in with his plans. They had no place in his hectic, selfish lifestyle. Holly wanted full-time unconditional love, and he wasn’t capable of giving it. What he could offer her would be temporary at worst, part time at best, and it wasn’t enough. He refocused his vision and stared into Holly’s face. She gnawed her bottom lip in anxious confusion, hope vying with trepidation—waiting for him to say something—and he couldn’t. Silence stretched out in front of them tense and taut, so tangible he could have put out his hand and touched it. The longer he waited, the harder it became. Never had he felt so helpless, so unsure of himself. She stared at him, not speaking, but her eyes were full of such yearning, he momentarily panicked. The desire for self-preservation kicked in to save him. “I’m sorry, Holly.” He didn’t need to say any more. She got the message those three little words conveyed. Her face lost all animation, the life seemed to be sucked out of it, leaving the skin white and waxen. “It’s all right,” she whispered, wondering how she could be mourning Robbie yet wanting Justin at the same time. Seeing the young soldier had brought the memories flooding back; the desperate need to belong to someone, to be loved. Justin knew, but he didn’t want any part of it. She felt 59

Margaret Tanner hurt and humiliated as if her soul had been pared open and found wanting. Lilly saved the situation by almost knocking Holly’s coffee over as she made a grab for the chips. “No, you don’t.” Holly moved the food away. “Too many chips are bad for little girls. I’ve got a jar of baby food for you.” She fumbled around in her bag, purposely not looking at Justin, trying to get her emotions under control again. “Um, Holly, I might get back to work. I’ve got a couple of urgent things to attend to.” Sheer willpower stopped her from falling down in a screaming heap on the floor. Pride kept her from begging him to stay. “I’ll pay for our food on the way out.” He stood up. “I can give you the fare if you want to catch a taxi home.” “No, thanks,” she said, fighting to keep her voice steady. “I’ve got my train ticket. “Well,” he reached out and patted Lilly on the head, “goodbye, little missie. I hope the job turns out well.” “Thanks...for everything.” And thanks for nothing. You built up my hopes, even if you didn’t mean to, then smashed them into a million pieces. She didn’t know how she kept the bitterness out of her voice. How she stopped herself from punching and kicking him for ruining her dreams. Dreams that one day, after they got to know each other a little better, they might have a happy future together. Most of all, she despised herself for letting him get to her. “It’s just the two of us, Lilly Pilly,” she said after he left. “We don’t need Justin or any other man to succeed. We’ll do it all on our own.” With dogged determination, she started spooning the baby custard into Lilly’s hungry little mouth. Once the jar was empty, she wiped Lilly’s face on her bib and put her in the stroller. Holly started 60

Holly And The Millionaire to gather up the discarded remnants of food. Lifting up a couple of serviettes, she discovered Justin’s mobile phone. If she possessed a vicious streak, she would throw it in the nearest rubbish bin, but she couldn’t do it. He had been kind to them. Holly knew she had always been transparent and worn her heart on her sleeve. Having cottoned on to the fact she was becoming too attached to him, a commitment-shy man like Justin would dash off in panic. Putting the rubbish into a bin next to the door, she smiled at Fabulous Freddie, or whatever his name was, and wheeled the stroller out into the street. She could have rung Justin up from a public phone but curiosity about where he worked got the better of her. You’re a sticky beak, Holly Kirwan, she told herself. Even worse, a fool for running after a man who made it clear he wasn’t interested. How pathetic could a woman get? It was only a couple of blocks to the modern high-rise office block—two tall towers on either side of a ten or twelve-storied square building built of dark green marble. On a brass plaque positioned over an arched entrance were the words ‘Devereux Enterprises’. The huge double-glass doors opened automatically. Posh. Robbie’s slangy term proved an adequate description. The floor tiles were of the palest green and flecked with gold. Cool and sophisticated, just like Justin. The stroller wheels squeaked as she wheeled it toward a counter where a uniformed security man sat watching a computer screen. She suddenly realized a security camera monitored their every move. “Hello, could you direct me to Justin Devereux’s office, please?” “It’s on the tenth floor. The elevators are over 61

Margaret Tanner there on the right. Do you have any I.D.? I’ll need to sign you in.” “Will my driver’s license do?” She fumbled around in her purse for it. “I’m sorry, um…Mrs. Kirwan, but you’ll have to leave the pram here.” “What!” “Security measures. I’ll keep an eye on it for you.” “Thanks.” Who would be desperate enough to steal a shabby baby stroller? She signed the book, putting Mrs. Harris’s phone number and address down. If she hadn’t been so keen to see where Justin worked and, in all honesty, to see him again and clear things up between them, she would have given the security man the phone and saved herself from this inquisition. Carrying Lilly, she made for the elevator. Within seconds, it whizzed up to the tenth floor. She stepped out onto thick gray carpet—luxurious but tasteful. She just had time to glance at a couple of English countryside prints hanging on the pale gray walls before a well groomed middle-aged lady came up to her. “Could I see Justin, please?” She juggled her bag in one hand and held Lilly on her hip with the other. “I’m Lesley, Mr. Devereux’s personal assistant. He never sees anyone without an appointment. Could I help you with something?” She smiled at Lilly. “What a little cutie you are.” “I need to see Justin. Could you tell him I’m here? Holly Kirwan is my name.” Why didn’t she give the PA the wretched phone and be done with it instead of acting like some starved-for-affection puppy? Lilly squirmed and wriggled to get down. She started grizzling, and the crying sounded overloud 62

Holly And The Millionaire in the silent rarified atmosphere of Justin’s inner sanctum. A door swung open and Justin strode out. “What on earth is going on? Holly!” He almost skidded to a halt in front of her. “What are you doing here?” Lilly reached out to him, and he lifted her from Holly’s arms. “Now, little missie, keep the noise level down, or you’ll send my executive staff into shock,” he joked, giving Lilly a grin. She in turn made a grab for his hair. “Your phone. You left it at Freddie’s,” Holly gabbled. He could turn her into a gibbering wreck without even trying. “I found it under a serviette. I thought you might be worried.” She fished it out and handed it to him. “Thanks, I didn’t even miss it.” He slipped it into the pocket of his jacket. Holly shuffled her feet uneasily. “I...I’d better go and let you get back to work.” “No, come into my office. Les, could you bring us in some tea, please? A biscuit for Lilly?” His eyebrows peaked in query. “No, thanks. She’d make too much a mess.” “You wouldn’t make a mess in my office, would you?” Lilly chortled and grasped a handful of his hair and pulled hard. “Ouch, you cruel little thing.” “Don’t hurt Justin,” Holly said, following him into his office. It appeared sparsely furnished with just an antique desk and two black wing-backed leather armchairs. A state-of-the-art computer rested on the desk along with several manila folders and a pile of papers. “Sit down, Holly. You’re like a cat on hot bricks.” “You make me nervous. I feel so inadequate sometimes.” She scrubbed her fingers through her hair as she sat down and tried not to stare at him. 63

Margaret Tanner He sat Lilly on the floor and took a seat. With his hair ruffled, it gave him a more relaxed appearance and made him seem younger, almost carefree. “Don’t keep putting yourself down. I’m sorry about dashing off at lunch. You rattle my cage sometimes and make me feel things I shouldn’t. Oh God.” He gave a deprecating grimace. “It couldn’t work between us,” he said, gently. “I can’t give you what you’re searching for, what you have every right to expect from a man.” Her heart plummeted, and her shoulders slumped. He was saying goodbye. “I can only offer you friendship.” Justin picked up her hand and cradled it between his own. How small and soft it felt. Like Holly herself—soft as marshmallow. Of course she wanted more. A man would have to be blind not to read the pain and longing in her eyes. She wanted someone to love, someone to replace the young soldier she had lost, and that sure as hell wasn’t him. He should banish her from his life, but somehow he couldn’t. He wanted to keep an eye on her and Lilly. What a load of crap! He wanted to cuddle her, take her to bed, kiss and caress every inch of her delectable little body, and then make wild passionate love to her. He wanted to light the fire he instinctively knew smoldered just below the surface. Like tinder dry grass, once it came into contact with a naked flame, it would flare up and race out of control. That was Holly’s way. No half measures—all or nothing. He couldn’t give her the all, so it had to be nothing. It was hard when he craved the taste of those sweet pink lips and the feel of her silky hair as he dribbled it between his fingers. Her body would be soft and yielding as he cuddled her close—warm, sensuous, sweetly perfumed. He crossed his legs to dampen down on his male ardor. 64

Holly And The Millionaire Saved. Not by the bell, but by Lesley coming in with the tea. He almost laughed at the irony of the situation. “Just put the tray on the desk, thanks.” As his PA disappeared through the door, from the corner of one eye, he saw Lilly knock over his bin. Giving a squeal of delight, she dug her fingers into the pile of crumpled pieces of paper. Holly jumped up. “No, you can’t wreck Justin’s things.” “She’s all right. Sit down and drink your tea. There’s nothing in there to hurt her.” Lilly was a cute little bundle of mischief. “As long as she doesn’t try eating it. The ink mightn’t agree with her.” He grinned. Holly’s heart nearly catapulted out of her chest. What a devastatingly handsome man...strong jawed, lean-angled face and sensuous to-die-for lips. He did it without even trying, she thought, as she struggled to dampen down the warmth seeping into every pore of her being. A widow with a small child shouldn’t be lusting after a man even if he was Adonis, Superman and Tom Cruise all rolled into one. She poured milk into her tea with a trembling hand, and the hurried gulp of hot liquid burnt her mouth. “Would you care for a biscuit?” As he proffered the plate, she had the distinct impression he knew the effect he had on her. “No, thanks.” She loved chocolate biscuits but wouldn’t be able to eat so much as a mouthful. It took a superhuman effort just to drink the tea. She couldn’t believe he could get her into such a state of tension by staring at her with his cool, assessing gray eyes. She was an amusing distraction for him, someone so different from his usual type of woman she could have come from another planet. She forgot that at her peril. 65

Margaret Tanner Lilly crawled over to Justin, pulled herself up, and clung to his knee. He finished his tea in a couple of gulps and pushed the tray to one side. He picked up Lilly and stood her on the desk, holding her steady with a hand under either arm. “Well, little missie. What do you think of my office?” She clapped her hands, and he chuckled. “You’re a clever little pumpkin, aren’t you?” He turned her from side to side, and she waved her arms about. “You’re good with children,” Holly said, immediately regretting her impulsive words as his mouth tightened and his eyes iced over. “It’s easy putting up with them for a short time.” “You don’t mean that,” she retorted before she could stop herself. “You’ve got a natural affinity with them. You’re a natural born father.” “Like hell I am. If you’ve finished your tea, I’ll walk you downstairs,” he said abruptly, rising from the chair and picking up Lilly. She wrapped baby arms around his neck and pressed her face into his neck. With such a forceful dismissal, Holly could do nothing but put her bone china cup back on its matching gold-rimmed saucer and stand up. “You don’t have to escort us off the premises.” Hurt sharpened her voice. “We’re not going to pinch anything.” “I didn’t mean to imply you would. She’s too heavy for you to carry downstairs. I’ll be back in a couple of minutes, Les.” He threw the words over one shoulder as he strode past the PA’s desk. “Goodbye. Thanks for the tea,” Holly said as she followed him to the elevator. “I can carry her. Even if I don’t look it, I’m quite strong.” Holly was as soft as marshmallow, fragile as the finest porcelain and just as easily broken. He 66

Holly And The Millionaire couldn’t understand the way he acted toward her— running hot and cold all the time. One minute, he enjoyed the shared camaraderie and the subtle emotional pull between them. The next minute, self-preservation kicked in, and he turned on her like a rabid dog. He acknowledged the greetings of a couple of young men who got into the elevator on the sixth floor and ignored their interested stares at Lilly, but he fumed when they turned their attention to Holly. Their eyes wandered all over her in that assessing sexual way young men had when they saw a pretty woman. Lecherous bastards. When they got to the security desk he placed Lilly in the stroller, and it looked shabbier and more beat up than he remembered. “Goodbye, Justin,” Holly said in a tremulous voice that did funny things to his inside. Better for both of them if he never clapped eyes on her again. “Thanks for bringing me the phone,” he called out to her departing back. She didn’t turn around, just kept pushing the stroller. The squeaking wheels sounded overloud and incongruous in the quiet luxury of the foyer. He glanced at the security book and made a mental note of Holly’s address and phone number, telling himself he did it out of pure curiosity.

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Chapter Six Holly dressed carefully for her first day at work. She wore black slacks and a pale pink top. After applying her usual pink lipstick and matching eye shadow, she left the bungalow. Humming to herself, she walked along the street pushing the stroller. Lilly wore deep pink overalls with a heart-shaped motif on the bib front and a pale pink blouse trimmed with lace around the collar. A good-natured baby, she only grizzled if she got tired or hungry. Just before nine, they arrived at the crèche. The moment of reckoning. Would Lilly like the people here? Would she enjoy being with other children? Holly hated leaving her, but what option did she have until she found out how much the government pension would be? “Good morning.” Cheryl greeted her with a cheerful smile. “And this must be Lilly.” She scooped Lilly out of the pram and tickled her belly. “I’m sure we’re going to be friends.” No tears, thank goodness. So far so good. “When I find out exactly where I’m working, I’ll let you know the extension number, Cheryl, just in case you need to ring me.” “Good idea. I think she’ll be fine. Let me know what time you’ll be having lunch so we can make sure she’s awake when you come down.” “Thank you.” Holly hovered, loath to leave Lilly yet knowing she must. “Go now. Don’t prolong the agony. If there are any problems, we’ll give you a ring.” 68

Holly And The Millionaire “Thanks. I didn’t expect to meet someone so understanding,” Holly said sincerely. “I hope the rest of the Glen Fern staff is nice like you.” “Most of them are. It’s a good company to work for.” Holly left Lilly playing with Cheryl’s necklace and hurried next door to see the receptionist. “Good morning. I’m here to start work.” “Hi. Mr. Hamilton wants you to go up to his office. He’ll show you around.” “Thanks.” Holly didn’t want him to show her around. She didn’t want to have anything to do with him. On the surface, he seemed pleasant enough, but his over-familiar manner and the sexual innuendo scared the hell out of her. The door to Owen Hamilton’s office stood open. He sat sprawled out in his chair, his feet propped up on the desk. He had a mobile phone glued to his ear and a smarmy grin on his face. “All right, Dad. I’m sorry I missed the meeting, but they don’t need me. You’re the managing director. I have to go. There’s a new staff member waiting for me.” He jabbed the disconnect button before slipping the phone into his coat pocket. Slowly, almost leisurely, he removed his feet from the desk and stood up, striking the same intimidating pose of yesterday. “How are you, Holly?” “I’m fine, thank you.” She fumed as his eyes ranged all over her, lingering longest at breast level. Creep. So Daddy was managing director. It explained a lot of things. “I better take you up to the Radiology Department. They’re waiting for you. Your baby settled in all right at the crèche?” “Yes, thanks. I think she’ll be happy there.” “Good.” He came up close. She could smell the cloying male cologne he wore. He must have 69

Margaret Tanner soaked himself in it. He took hold of her arm. She gritted her teeth, forcing herself not to flinch. Radiology was situated down in the basement. Thankfully, the elevator was made of glass, and everyone could see them. She didn’t want to be alone with Owen in a closed-in elevator. She wouldn’t trust him anywhere. The radiologist, a middle-aged balding man named Dr. Stevens, smiled and shook her hand but appeared rather standoffish, which suited her. She didn’t like touchy-feely men. Perhaps that’s why she disliked Owen so much. There were two male radiographers and a female ultrasonographer who also performed the mammograms. They were all young and friendly, and she started to relax. Owen showed her to her office. It contained a dictaphone machine, so she would obviously be typing the reports from tapes. What a stroke of luck, she knew the word processing system well, and as long as Dr. Stevens dictated clearly, there wouldn’t be any insurmountable problems. Except maybe Owen. She kept getting bad vibes from him. “I’ll leave you to it,” Owen said, patting her on the backside. It was galling but she had to ignore it because she needed the job. “I’ll catch up with you soon.” His smile seemed more like a leer. His eyes were lecherous. Not if I can help it. She tried to quell her rising fury. “Thanks.” This sexual predator should be reported, but to whom? And would anyone believe her word over that of the managing director’s son—a managing director who numbered Justin Devereux among his friends? Holly had just finished ringing Cheryl with her phone number when Dr. Stevens strode over to her with a bundle of referral forms and a tape. “Are you familiar with the equipment?” he asked. 70

Holly And The Millionaire “Yes. I’ve used it before.” “Good. Um, if it’s an urgent report or the patient is waiting to take the x-ray films with them, I’ll do it on a separate tape and bring it out to you. Just come into my office every now and again to pick up a new tape and gather up the xray bags.” He played with his Adam’s apple. “Part of your duties will be putting the signed reports in the bags, marking them off in a book and leaving them for the courier to pick up.” “I understand, thanks.” The first report she typed turned out to be a mammogram, and Dr. Stevens had discovered a malignant tumor in a thirty-eight-year-old woman’s left breast. It didn’t take long for her to get back into the swing of things again. **** “Holly,” Mrs. Harris knocked on her door one evening. “There’s a telephone call for you, dear. A nice young gentleman, Justin I think he said his name was. We had such a lovely chat.” Holly’s heart leapt. Lilly was asleep in bed, so she hurried after Mrs. Harris. She was shocked to notice a tremor in her hand as she picked up the phone. “Hello.” “Hi, it’s Justin. How are you?” “Fine, thanks.” What a lie. She felt like a gibbering wreck as she all but collapsed into an armchair. “How’s Lilly?” “Good.” “How’s work?” “I’ve only been at Glen Fern a couple of days, but I like it. How did you get my number?” “From the security book in my office building. Would you like to come out to dinner with me on Saturday night?” “Dinner?” Holly queried. When Justin bid her farewell at his work, he looked like he hated her. 71

Margaret Tanner “Yes, my way of apologizing for my boorish behavior the other day.” “Say yes, say yes,” Mrs. Harris waved frantically in the background. “I’ll mind Lilly for you.” “Whereabouts? I mean, is it posh?” Justin laughed. “Not posh, but you’d need to wear a dress. It will give me a chance to ogle your bare legs.” This teasing Justin was lethal. She wanted to go out with him but didn’t have anything suitable to wear. Disappointment surged through her. “I can make you a dress,” Mrs. Harris said, realizing her dilemma. “I used to be a seamstress.” “Thank you, I would like to go.” It was foolish leaving herself open to hurt but she couldn’t help it. She was prepared to risk it for a chance to find happiness again. “Good. I’ll pick you up about seven. Don’t worry. I’ll have you home before midnight, so our coach won’t turn into a pumpkin.” At the sound of his soft, intimate laugh, she felt a warm fluttering sensation in the pit of her stomach. She had never met a man with such mercurial mood swings, who ran hot and cold like he did. Robbie had been steady and predictable, so warm and kind it brought a lump to her throat every time she thought about him. She always knew where she stood with him. He loved her with all his heart. Hardly a day would go by that he wouldn’t tell her so, or give her a small token of his esteem. She swallowed down on the poignant memory. “I’ll look forward to it.” “Me too. I have to go now. I’m up to my neck in work, see you Saturday.” The line went dead. Slowly and thoughtfully, she hung up the phone. “I’m glad you’re going out with him. He sounds such a nice young man. Now, something for you to 72

Holly And The Millionaire wear. Black would be perfect with your blonde hair. I’ve got a black dress that would be ideal. I wore it to a dinner dance a few years ago.” “But...” Holly didn’t like to say you’re twice my size. “Miles too big, of course, dear, but it’s an exquisite thing. I can alter it. There’s a beaded jacket we can use for decoration.” “I couldn’t let you cut up one of your dresses,” Holly protested. “Rubbish, I’ll never wear it again. I might be an old fogy, but I’m right up with the latest fashion. Put yourself in my hands, and I’ll make you a dress that will knock his socks off. Ooh, I haven’t been this excited in years.” Mrs. Harris dashed off to get the tape measure, and Holly decided to let the old lady have her head. She had nothing to lose. Anything Mrs. Harris concocted would have to be better than what she had, which was nothing. **** When Holly surveyed herself in Mrs. Harris’s full-length mirror, she couldn’t believe how well she looked. The dress fit perfectly. It was made out of some silky material, cut very simply with a snug fit over her breasts and hips. A high choker collar covered in sequins held the dress in place. It was slashed almost to the waist at the back. She couldn’t believe an old lady would be so with it as to create something like this. “I told you, dear, I’d make you something special.” “Mrs. Harris, it’s fabulous. Thank you so much.” She kissed the old lady’s cheek. Holly wore no jewelry except her wedding ring and a gold watch that Robbie had given her for their first anniversary. He didn’t live long enough for them to celebrate a second one, she thought sadly. 73

Margaret Tanner “Don’t keep beating yourself up. Robbie wouldn’t begrudge you finding happiness again.” “I’m only friends with Justin.” “Of course you are, dear.” Mrs. Harris chuckled. “You enjoy yourself. Lilly is asleep. If she does happen to wake up, the cat and I will keep her entertained.” **** Justin arrived right on seven o’clock. Mrs. Harris opened the door as soon as they heard him on the verandah so he wouldn’t ring the bell and wake Lilly. Holly watched as he strode into the lounge room chatting to Mrs. Harris as if they were old friends. He looked so handsome in a black dinner suit with a white evening shirt and a black bow tie, her heart wrenched painfully “Wow, Holly, you look sensational.” And she did. She looked so exquisite he began to regret his impulsive decision to invite her to a fund-raising drive for his old university. How the hell could he keep his hands off her with so much creamy white flesh visible? She didn’t wear a bra. He could tell by the slight outline of her nipples against the silky material or he imagined that he could. He studied the swell of her hips and her slim legs. Her dainty feet were shod in high-heeled sandals, and he swallowed quickly, fighting to get himself under control. Thank goodness the old dear chattered away, giving him a chance to gather his wits and dampen down on his lustful thoughts. Every nerve in his body became attuned to Holly. He felt every breath she took. Her perfume smelt so intoxicatingly sweet, he wondered whether he would be sober enough to drive. “No problems with Lilly?” was the best he could manage at this very moment. Phew, Holly Kirwan was dynamite, a lethal little package that would blow up in his face if he didn’t watch 74

Holly And The Millionaire himself. “This is my mobile number, Mrs. Harris,” he said, pulling himself together with difficulty. “Any problems with Lilly, please don’t hesitate to call.” He handed over a card. “I’ll bring Holly home straight away.” “I’m sure we’ll be fine. Just enjoy yourselves.” Holly let Justin help her into a dark-colored car. The soft kid seats and plush interior gave it a prestigious ambience. I mustn’t ooh and ah, she told herself. It would make her seem gauche, and she wanted to appear to have some level of sophistication. They didn’t speak as they drove along. Holly felt too nervous to say anything, but she had no idea why Justin wasn’t talking. At least he wouldn’t be ashamed to be seen with her. He liked what he saw. His eyes had blazed, and his sensuous lips parted in amazement. She knew she looked good at the time, but now nervous apprehensive almost overwhelmed her. “Where are we going?” She touched his arm. He shocked her by saying, “It’s an annual fund raising dinner for my old university.” “A thousand dollars a head, win a car at the end of the night, kind of thing?” “Yeah, more or less.” Holly’s palms felt clammy. All her doubts rose to the surface again. How could she cope with the rich, beautiful people and the academics who attended these functions? “Hey, it’s all right,” he reassured. “I’ll be the envy of every man there.” And every unattached woman in the room will hate me for being with you, she nearly said. The dinner was being held in a dark stone building that could once have been a church. As they stepped inside, her supposition proved correct. The building was graced by soaring ceilings with 75

Margaret Tanner carved beams and arched stained-glass windows. Thirty or more tables were set around a circular dance floor. Formally attired waiters hovered nearby. She swallowed down on a nervous lump as she forced her trembling legs into motion. If Justin hadn’t held her hand in a firm, warm clasp, she wouldn’t have been able to take a step. She wondered fearfully how her dress would stack up against the designer fashions here. They were shown to a table where several couples sat sipping their drinks. She recognized one woman, a model-cum-TV star, and there was also a barrister whose high-profile clients belonged to the top echelons of society. They seemed friendly, obviously thinking she was one of the beautiful people like them, as Justin introduced her only as Holly. The entree arrived almost straight away. Black sprinkle things...oops...caviar nestled in little round pasty shells was accompanied by wine and champagne. The servings were small or she would never have been able to eat such exotic fare. A glass of iced water made it easier for the food to slide down her throat. She pretended to enjoy it as much as the other occupants of the table, so they wouldn’t think she was a complete philistine. After a while, the band started up with a slow number, and when Justin asked her to dance she floated into his arms. “This is the best part of the night so far,” she said on a sigh, and he gave a soft intimate chuckle. The lights were dimmed, the tune a slow romantic number and she melted against him. She could smell his male scent, some kind of spicy but discrete cologne and Justin—a powerful blend of power, wealth and primitive sexuality. Closing her eyes, she rested her cheek against his chest so she could feel every beat of his heart. It 76

Holly And The Millionaire pounded like a jack-hammer. His hands were locked around her waist, his thumbs caressing her bare back in a slow, circular motion that flicked the flesh from her bones and left her inner being naked and exposed. She never wanted it to end. “Hey,” his breath stirred in her hair. “The dance has finished, darling.” “What?” She came out of her trance. “I didn’t realize.” She blinked a couple of times as she was blinded when the lights came on. “You’re really something special, Holly.” He held her hand as they made their way back to their table where the soup was being served. She didn’t know what kind of soup it was—some sort of consommé with a couple of mint leaves floating on top. Conversation became general, but she learned the men at the table and a couple of the women had gone to university with Justin. She also found out he had won a scholarship to attend. No surprise there, he seemed to have a photographic memory and his mind stored details like a computer chip. The guest speaker turned out to be some welltraveled academic who had written several books. “Ladies and gentlemen, fellow ex-students, it is my pleasure...” Holly concentrated on Justin, trying to memorize every angle and groove of his handsome face, the way his hair curled around his ears, the flecks of silver at his temple. His eyes always seemed to crinkle up at the corners when he laughed. His hand covered hers as it rested on her lap under the table. His fingers idly twisted her wedding ring. “Why do you still wear it?” He lowered his voice so only she could hear. She blinked a couple of times in quick succession. “What?” 77

Margaret Tanner “Why do you still wear your wedding ring?” Sudden loud applause interrupted them. “Well said, Anthony,” called out a man from the next table. “Pull the invaders out of Iraq,” the speaker went on. “The American and English soldiers are nothing but murderers, killing innocent people trying to protect their homeland.” Holly’s blood ran cold before it started to slowly burn. This was followed immediately by pure unadulterated fury. “We should applaud every time an invader dies,” the speaker ranted. “You traitor.” Holly jumped to her feet. Ignoring Justin’s command to stop and the shocked gasps around her, she dashed toward the speaker. “You despicable creature.” “Listen lady, it’s the duty of everyone in this room to donate more money to the Iraqi freedom fighters.” “Freedom fighters?” she screamed. “They killed my husband. They deprived my baby of a father.” “Holly.” Justin dashed up and grabbed hold of her arm, but she shook herself free. “Look at yourselves, stuffing your faces on expensive food while men are fighting for their lives.” “Who brought this crazy woman along?” someone yelled. “I did, and she has every right to speak. This is a free country last I heard,” Justin leapt to her defense. “You should be arrested,” the speaker went on. “Come on, Holly. He’s not worth worrying about.” Justin grabbed her arm. “My husband lies dead in some English cemetery while you collect money for the men who killed him,” she screamed. “Robbie will never get 78

Holly And The Millionaire the chance to see his daughter take her first steps.” Her eyes filled with tears, and they trickled down her cheeks. She trembled so much she had trouble remaining upright. “When your child calls you Daddy over the breakfast table, remember this: my baby hasn’t got a daddy any more.” Deathly silence descended on the room now. She was half blinded with tears and deafened by the blood now pounding in her ears, but she heard a jumble of voices and saw the color drain from Justin’s face. “You owe Holly an apology, Anthony. I didn’t pay good money to have to listen to this seditious talk.” His voice sounded so cold, goose bumps broke out on her arm. She let Justin lead her into the foyer. “Wait here, I’ll tell the others we’re going.” She waited, trembling with indignation coupled with gratitude because Justin had jumped to her defense. “Let’s get out of here.” He put his arms around her still trembling shoulders and helped her to the car. Before driving off, he picked up her hand and held it against his chest. “Hell, but you’ve stirred up a hornets nest in there. I wouldn’t be surprised if there isn’t a riot before the night is over. Anthony has always been a raving lunatic, chasing rat bag causes. Not everyone in the room agreed with him. I think they were too shocked to say anything, but they’re saying plenty now.” “Maybe I did overreact, but I couldn’t let him say derogatory things about Robbie or his friends. They didn’t ask to be sent over there.” “I know. You would have made him proud, Holly. It took a lot of courage.” “He was a good person. I’m not anywhere near as brave as him, but I tell you this. I’d do anything for Lilly.” She ignored his shocked breath. “I don’t 79

Margaret Tanner care how illegal, low or despicable. I swear I’d do it.” It was only ten o’clock when they pulled up outside Mrs. Harris’s. It looked so dark Holly wondered whether some of the streetlights had gone out. “Would you like to come in for coffee?” “No thanks. I want to kiss you.” She heard a click. The seat shot back, and she found herself in his arms. His lips, hot and urgent, claimed hers, and she opened her mouth to receive his moist, darting tongue. Tasting, savoring, entwining with hers, she felt him thrusting deeper. Passion sizzled like flames—burning and scorching—a wildfire whipped up by a gale. Uncontrollable, unstoppable. She heard his labored breathing and felt the fire within him. The feel of his hands seared the bare skin of her back. She moaned with the pain of deprivation as his mouth moved from her mouth, only to sigh with ecstasy as he nuzzled her throat. One of his hands left her back and started working her nipple through the material of her dress. “No bra.” He gave a feral groan. “But I can’t get to them unless I rip your dress off.” He started suckling the nipple through the material. She had never felt anything so sensuous. His hand slid up under her skirt. Her thighs quivered as his trembling fingers made contact with her bare flesh—stroking, squeezing. She felt the warm gush of pleasure that his touch aroused. He half lay across her now so she could feel his erection pressing into her stomach. She wanted to touch it, caress and taste it. She wanted to guide this powerful instrument of pleasure into her love canal and let Justin bury himself deep within her throbbing core. “Holly. Oh, my God,” he groaned. “I want you 80

Holly And The Millionaire so badly it’s killing me.” “Take me, Justin, right here and now in the car,” she sobbed. “Car!” The word broke into his passion, dousing it like a bucket of freezing water. He had lost his head. He was so out of control he was on the verge of having sex in a car—on a public street—with no protection. Cursing under his breath, he drew away before he tumbled over the brink. He felt so aroused he had trouble moving. “Please, I love you,” she pleaded. Her declaration cooled his ardor like nothing else could. Love meant permanency, marriage even. He felt cold all over. A girl like Holly would expect a life-long commitment, and he couldn’t give it to her. Mad, frantic lovemaking until the flame went out was all he could offer, and it would leave her as cold as the ashes of a long dead fire. He couldn’t do it to her, to Lilly. He thought too much of them. “I’m sorry, Holly, it could never work between us. I’d only cause you pain, and you’ve had enough of that in your life.” “I’m sorry too,” she whispered, touching his cheek with her fingertips. “Goodbye.” She would never know how she got out of the car and walked to the verandah. Thank goodness the house remained in darkness with Lilly asleep and Mrs. Harris already in bed. She eased the door open so as not to make a noise. Before she shut it, she glanced over one shoulder and saw Justin driving out of her life.

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Chapter Seven For the next three weeks, things went well. Lilly settled into the crèche routine, and Holly worked Monday, Wednesday and Friday from nine until four. Owen came down to the office several times, but she always got rid of him by pretending to be busy. No word from Justin. She almost rang him several times, but stopped dead in her tracks when she remembered the last time they met. “Well, Lilly Pilly, we’ll be on our own now. Mrs. Harris will be gone when we get home,” she said, strapping Lilly into the stroller for their train journey. As she headed toward their bungalow, the place seemed silent, almost forbidding. She gave a sudden shiver. You’re an idiot, she scolded herself. Being alone shouldn’t worry her as she still remembered the self-defense moves Robbie had taught her. Unarmed combat, he always said. To ward off would be admirers in case he wasn’t there to punch their lights out. What would their future have held if he hadn’t been killed? Would they have grown apart? She dragged the side gate open. Of course they wouldn’t. They would have lived happily ever after. That’s how the fairytale went, the way it should have been, but she would never know for certain now. I’ve got Lilly, she thought, and maybe one day I’ll settle down with a nice man. Mistakenly, she had thought Justin might prove to be the one. “What will we have for tea, baby?” She tried to 82

Holly And The Millionaire pull her thoughts out of the doldrums. No point in dwelling on what might have been. You can’t turn the clock back, can’t refuse the hand fate dealt you. **** One particular Wednesday morning, Holly was alone in the Radiology Department. “Good morning, Holly.” She glanced up from typing a report, and her stomach knotted up with dread. “Oh, Owen. Hi.” She tried to sound casual. “How have you been getting along?” “All right, thanks.” He leaned over her, draping his arm across her shoulders. She wanted to knock it off but didn’t quite dare. Thank God, the phone rang. Saved by the bell, she bit back on a hysterical laugh. He stepped back a pace as she stood up. “Radiology, Holly speaking.” “Dr. Calvert here. I’d like to speak with Dr. Stevens please,” the male voice said. “I’m sorry. He’s away for a couple of days at a conference.” “All right, get me one of the radiographers.” “I’m sorry, Dr. Calvert. I’m the only person here today.” “Fat lot of good that is.” He slammed the phone down in her ear. “We’re all alone are we, sweet Holly?” Owen gave one of his smarmy smiles. The hair on the back of her neck prickled as he pushed the door shut with his foot. The action had menacing undertones. Instinctively, she backed away. Her heart leapt up into her mouth as she glanced around for an escape route. “Time to repay your debt to me, babe.” His arms snaked out, and he dragged her body against his, holding her so close she could scarcely breathe. His mouth came down on hers—hard, wet, revolting. She tried to push at his shoulders and 83

Margaret Tanner twist out of his reach. Slamming her against the desk, he started pushing up her skirt. “Don’t play hard to get, bitch. I know you’re hot for me.” “Let me go or I’ll scream,” she threatened, frantically punching at his back and shoulders. “There’s no one around to hear. Like it rough, do you?” He made a sudden grab for her flimsy lace panties. Fear almost overwhelmed her. She could smell his sweating anticipation, feel his erection pushing against her belly, but knew she would never submit to him while there was even one breath left in her body. She fought him like a wildcat, twisting, turning and hitting out at him, but he was strong, ruthless, sexually aroused and dangerous. In desperation, she lifted her knee and rammed it into his groin with all her strength. Cursing with pain, he staggered back. Terrified, she grabbed her bag, wrenched the door open and ran out of the office. There was no one around to help—not a solitary soul. She would starve to death before letting a filthy creep like Owen touch her again. She heard a bellow of rage as he staggered after her clutching his groin. “F...ing bitch, you’re fired.” He caught up with her at the elevator as her finger stabbed at the button. “You...you fiend, I’m going to report you.” “Yeah, slut, and who’s going to take your word against mine?” He pushed his face up close to hers, and she wanted to scratch his eyes out. The elevator arrived, and she dived into it, trying to slam the door on him. He gave it a shove, and she reeled back against the far wall. “You’ll pay for this you bitch. I’ll see to it.” “I’d rather starve than work for you,” she screamed, trying to stop herself from trembling 84

Holly And The Millionaire and giving him the satisfaction of seeing her fear and horror. The elevator arrived at the ground floor. He pushed past her and minced up to the receptionist. “I want this woman escorted from the premises, and she’s never to set foot inside the hospital again.” “I’m going, but if my pay doesn’t get deposited in my bank account, I’ll contact Justin Devereux, I swear it.” Holly left. Her whole body trembled as she staggered out into the street. Slumping against the wall, she fought to get herself under control so as not to frighten Lilly. What would happen to her now? Her head ached, and she felt like vomiting. If she went to the police, would they believe her? He hadn’t actually raped her. The knee in the groin saw to that. There were no bruises or marks on her body. It would be her word against his. With a rich powerful father, what chance would she have? Would Justin believe her if she contacted him and told him what happened? Yeah, pigs would fly first. She was ordinary. Owen was one of Justin’s kind: wealthy, ruthless, a law unto themselves, and to hell with anyone else. If Owen accused her of attacking him, she might even go to jail. What would happen to Lilly? Owen Hamilton was a sexual predator of the worst kind, but she couldn’t prove it. He knew he wouldn’t get caught. How many other vulnerable women had he tried to attack? Plenty most probably, but none of them would have reported him. She didn’t want the despicable bully to get away with it, but Lilly remained her first priority. She couldn’t run the risk of the welfare people getting involved, accusing her of being an unfit mother and taking Lilly away. Blinking back frightened tears, she clutched 85

Margaret Tanner her handbag a little tighter, took several shuddering breaths to steady herself before slowly making her tortuous way to The Teddy Bears’ Picnic. **** Justin strolled into Glen Fern hospital. He wanted to see Holly again to apologize for his overthe-top reaction after the charity dinner. He had tried to ring her at Mrs. Harris’s on several occasions, but the number always rang out. He wanted to invite her out again. He missed her more than he cared to admit even to himself. Hell, to be honest, he hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind. There was something special about Holly. Honest, gutsy and beautiful—she had just about restored his faith in women and made him believe there might still be some decent ones left. He would check in with Owen first to ascertain which department Holly worked in. No point in advertising his interest to all and sundry. And he was interested. Oh God, was he interested. She intruded on his thoughts during the day and peppered his dreams at night. Nodding to the girl at reception, he pressed the elevator button and waited. He couldn’t believe the excitement churning around in his stomach and the way his heart pounded. He felt like a schoolboy going out on his first hot date. Owen lounged in his chair but sprung to his feet when Justin entered. “Justin Devereux! What brings you here?” “Just passing, thought I’d check up on Holly Kirwan.” “She doesn’t work here anymore.” Justin’s stomach dropped. Had his boorish behavior driven her away? “Why did she leave?” “She propositioned me after only a couple of weeks.” 86

Holly And The Millionaire “What!” Justin couldn’t believe his ears. “Said she wanted more money. Stood in the same spot as you’re standing now and offered me oral sex.” Justin felt as if the breath had been punched from his lungs. He almost doubled over with the pain of betrayal. It felt like a rusty knife paring away his guts. It couldn’t be true, yet why would Owen lie? He hardly knew Owen, but his father epitomized honesty and integrity. He had fallen for the grieving widow bit hook, line and sinker. She probably hadn’t given a damn about her husband either. No, her grief had been real, her devotion to Lilly real, but he had made a huge mistake in thinking she might be attracted to him. Deluded himself into thinking she cared. Read in her eyes what wasn’t really there. In reality, she only wanted to get something out of him like all the other women he knew. He remembered with a sickening surge her vow to do anything, legal or otherwise, for Lilly “I’m sorry, Justin. I would have ignored it, but a few days later, one of the relieving radiographers complained about her offering him sex for fifty dollars. I had to fire her.” Justin turned on his heel and strode out of the office. Never again would he trust a woman. Treacherous, conniving liars. He had been a fool to think Holly might be any different from the rest of her sex. Didn’t he ever learn? He couldn’t believe how much her betrayal hurt. It damn near killed him. He would never fully recover from it, but he wouldn’t drink himself into oblivion or take his own life like Brad had after Vicki betrayed him. He cursed under his breath, berating himself for being such a gullible fool, yet inwardly he wept bitter tears.

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Chapter Eight Two weeks after being fired by Owen, Holly still didn’t have a job. There were plenty of employment opportunities around for medical typists, but lack of suitable childcare proved the major stumbling block. Maybe she should be investigating live-in housekeeping or nanny jobs where she could take Lilly, she decided, wheeling the stroller down to Harry’s general store. “Hello, love. Find anything in yesterday’s paper?” “No, it’s the child minding that’s causing the problem. I can’t find anywhere suitable.” Maybe she was being too picky, but she couldn’t risk leaving Lilly anywhere substandard. “Keep searching. Something will turn up,” he said with a sympathetic smile. “By the way, some English bloke came in here yesterday asking about you.” “Who? I don’t know any—oh my God.” Her heart leapt up into her mouth until she nearly choked on it. Fear slammed into her with the force of a battering ram. Her legs shook so much they were barely able to support her weight. “Looked kind of military, a private investigator if you ask me.” Holly slumped against the counter. If she hadn’t been wheeling the stroller, she would have collapsed in a screaming heap on the floor. Her worst nightmare, the blackest of her dreams had become a scary reality. Someone from England was 88

Holly And The Millionaire searching for her. The Kirwans had tracked them down. “What did you tell him? Oh, Harry, what did you say?” “He had your address, complained about knocking on the door but not getting an answer. I didn’t tell him you lived in a bungalow out the back though.” Relief flooded through her for a moment, followed by panic. “He must have been sent out by Robbie’s parents. They want to take Lilly away from me. They won’t get away with it,” she vowed. “It might be safer if you moved away from here, love.” “Where can I go?” Now was not the time to go to pieces. She had to think of a plan and quickly. “Here, take the paper. You might find somewhere. I wish I could offer you a room at my place, but with the daughter and grandkids coming back, we’re crowded out.” “I know, Harry, but thanks anyway.” Holly’s head started aching like it always did when she got stressed. She bought a loaf of bread and a couple of other things. Would the Englishman be watching the house? She would have to be careful from now on. Play it smart. How could the English authorities have gotten hold of her address? The Veteran Affairs people must have contacted their English counterparts, and Robbie’s dad once worked in the government. He would still have his network of spies operating there. Dare she return home? There was no alternative. She needed to get some things for Lilly. She fought to keep herself under control. If she went to pieces now, they were both doomed. Lilly would be taken away from her—a fate worse than death. When she arrived, the street appeared 89

Margaret Tanner deserted. She still had the house keys, so she went in through the door in case the PI was hiding somewhere. Let him think she lived in the house. It might buy her a little time. He would keep knocking on the door a few more times thinking she was at work. “What a mess we’re in.” “Mumma.” Lilly gave a toothy, dribbling grin. “Oh baby, you’ve got no idea of the danger we’re facing.” Once inside the bungalow, she locked the door and jammed a chair against it. You fool she castigated herself, giving a hysterical giggle. The Englishman wouldn’t kick the door in. Come with the police and welfare people waving a court order most likely. Oh yes, he would do everything by the book. She could just visualize it. Well, he would be too late. They would be gone. How? Where? She had no idea, but by tomorrow, they would be far away from Moorecroft Street. She fed Lilly then lay down on the bed to plot their escape. Interstate would be best. May be Queensland, where it was warm. She had Mrs. Harris’s daughter’s address. At least she would know someone there. The more she thought about it the more she favored the idea. She nearly went out to collect the mail but stopped herself. Instead, once Lilly fell asleep, she crept up the side drive, keeping herself hidden behind the many large shrubs. Parked across the road was a metallic blue car. She couldn’t see the male driver clearly. Didn’t need to. Back inside the bungalow, she paced the floor. She had to get away, but how? She heard the front door bell. It had a loud ring because Mrs. Harris was partially deaf and she wanted to hear it out in the garden. How long before the PI came around the back and did a thorough search? Thank goodness, some furniture 90

Holly And The Millionaire had been left in the house, so it didn’t look deserted. It would be best if he thought she was out at work. It would buy her a few more precious hours. How could she get away if he stayed there though? She tried to rack her brain to come up with something—anything. Later in the afternoon, Holly sneaked out again and saw the car still parked across the road. There could be no mistake now. The man was watching the house, lying in wait ready to pounce when she got home. The backyard shared a boundary with the park. If she could climb over the fence, the PI wouldn’t see her. On the spur of the moment, she couldn’t come up with any other idea. She piled as much as she could into Lilly’s pink bag and fed her a jar of custard as soon as she woke up. Thank goodness for summer—it didn’t get dark until late. Putting the bag in the stroller, she carried Lilly over to the back fence. They would go to Justin. This couldn’t be construed as anything but an emergency. Surely he would help them or know someone who could. She deposited Lilly on the ground and climbed up on the fence. The park appeared deserted. Folding up the stroller, she lowered it over the fence as best she could before dropping it, likewise the pink bag. Picking up Lilly, she held her in one arm and used the other to pull herself up on the fence rails. It wasn’t easy. She trembled as she straddled the fence. Now, what was the best thing to do? If she lowered Lilly down as far as she could, there would still be quite a drop. If she jumped down holding Lilly, they might both be injured. The best option had to be lowering herself down. She changed Lilly over to her right arm and slung one leg over the fence, maneuvering herself 91

Margaret Tanner sideways. She felt a wrenching pain in her arm as it temporarily took their full weight. The rough wood lacerated her hand. Because of her short stature, she couldn’t reach the ground. She jumped the last couple of feet and sank to her knees on the grass. Lilly, thinking they were playing a game, gurgled happily. “Oh darling, what’s to become of us?” Holly whispered, burying her face in the baby’s soft, sweet warmth. They had no time to lose if they wanted to make good their escape. Strapping Lilly into her stroller, she rested the bag on the hood and briskly walked away. How she hadn’t fallen to the ground in a screaming heap before now was a miracle. Her hand throbbed, and she realized a large splinter had embedded itself in her palm. On arrival at the railway station, she collapsed onto a seat. Now what? Get a train into the city before contacting Justin. Just get as far away from here as you can. If Justin wouldn’t help, what then? Go to plan B she told herself— Queensland. She should have enough money in her bank account to buy a one-way plane ticket. What if the police were waiting at the airport? Oh God, she hadn’t thought of that possibility before. She might end up on a wanted person’s poster. Get a grip on yourself, woman, she inwardly railed. Her head started aching even more, making it hard to think. The throbbing in her temples became worse as every minute passed. She feared she might be having a panic attack. By the time the train pulled into the station, she struggled to keep her eyes open, but she forced herself to focus. You’re doing this for Lilly. For your baby, you can do anything. No sacrifice would be too great, no pain that couldn’t be endured for Lilly. They had to find a place where there were telephones, somewhere to eat and change Lilly if 92

Holly And The Millionaire necessary. Mayview Shopping Center would do. Plenty of people around. They could mingle and not be seen. It would be safer to wait for Justin there too. She didn’t fancy hanging around in some dark place on her own. He lived in the center of Melbourne. She remembered him telling her that. Mayview wouldn’t be more than ten minutes’ drive away. He would be finished work by now, but she had his mobile phone number. With trembling fingers, she dialed the number. It rang and rang. She felt herself break out in a cold sweat. What if he didn’t answer? “Devereux.” She almost cried with relief. “Justin, it’s Holly.” No answer. “Don’t hang up on me. It’s an emergency, I’m desperate.” “What do you want?” His voice could have frozen water, and she shivered in the summer heat. “Please,” she pleaded, blinking back frightened tears. What if he wouldn’t help them? “They’re watching the house. I climbed over the back fence to escape,” she babbled. “Stop blubbering,” he snapped. Oh, God, he sounded like he hated her. “The Kirwans. Private investigator. He’ll get the police. They’ll take Lilly. You have to help me.” “Why should I?” His coldness chilled her to the bone. “Because there’s no one else. Don’t hang up. Don’t hang up.” “What do you want?” “I need you to pick us up and let us stay for a few days.” “That’s not possible, get yourself a hotel room.” She couldn’t believe how cold and remote he sounded. 93

Margaret Tanner “I can’t afford to pay for one.” “I’m sure you’ll think of a way,” he sneered. “How? “Use your womanly attributes.” “I don’t know what you mean. Do you think I’d ask for help if I wasn’t desperate? If it was just me I wouldn’t, but there’s Lilly. Please, Justin. I’ll pay you back. I swear it. I’ll do anything you want.” Her words, frantic though they sounded, only confirmed what Owen had said, but he wanted to give her one last chance to clear her name—to prove Owen had misunderstood her at the least or told a barefaced lie at worst. That she didn’t use her body to get what she wanted from men. The question was distasteful, but he asked it anyway. He had to know. “Sleep with me?” he asked harshly. “Yes, yes, anything.” The pain of Owen being proved right nearly felled him on the spot. He couldn’t believe how badly it hurt—an all consuming, searing pain that bit into his soul. “Where are you?” Holly shivered in the summer heat. “I...I’m at Mayview Shopping Center.” She felt so devastated she could barely get the words out. “Do you know it?” “Yes. Wait for me outside the camera shop on the ground floor. It’s near the main entrance.” The line went dead. Holly didn’t know where the camera shop was. Too exhausted to find it on her own, she asked directions from a passing security guard. “I’ll take you there, miss.” “Thank you.” She felt terrible, no doubt looked even worse. He walked slowly, as if he knew she had trouble dragging one foot after the other. “Are you sure you’re all right?” the guard asked when they got to the camera shop. “Yes,” she lied. “I’m getting a migraine. I’ve 94

Holly And The Millionaire arranged for a friend to pick me up here.” “Is there anything else I can do for you?” “No. Thanks for your help.” She didn’t know how she stopped herself from screaming. As soon as he walked off, she sank to the ground and sat with her back propped against the camera shop wall, her knees pulled up under her chin. She gripped the side of the stroller in one hand, the pink bag in the other. It would be bliss to close her eyes and blot out the blinding light, but she couldn’t in case she fell asleep and someone stole Lilly. **** Justin strode into the shopping center. A man must be crazy falling for such a ploy. He wanted to tell Holly to go to hell, to sell her body in the street if she wanted money so badly, but somehow he couldn’t. She sounded so bewildered, so desperate. He saw them straight away. The bloody pram that had nearly castrated him, the pink bag that just about concussed him, a rosy-cheeked, blondeheaded, sleeping cherub, and Holly—a tiny, dejected figure slumped against the wall of the camera shop. It was a strangely moving sight, but he hardened his heart—or told himself he did. Just remember how she tried it on with Owen and the radiographer. “Oh, Justin, you came.” Holly dragged herself upright, her whole body trembling with emotion as he strode up to them. “You look terrible. What happened?” She started telling him, but the tears came, and once they started falling, they wouldn’t stop. He snorted in annoyance but handed over a white handkerchief. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She tried to gulp back the tears. “For God sake, get a grip on yourself,” he growled, fighting the temptation to pull her into 95

Margaret Tanner his arms and kiss all the tears away. “Have you eaten today?” “I don’t remember. Oh yes, breakfast, before I found out about the English private investigator.” “What are you raving about?” “When I went to the local shop, they said a man had asked about Lilly and me. There’s a man sitting out the front watching my place,” she gabbled. “I climbed over the back fence. I’ve got this enormous splinter in my hand and—” “Give me a look.” As he picked up her small soft hand in his large hard one, he fought against the temptation to kiss it better. The breath whistled between his teeth when he turned her palm upwards. “It’s gone in deep.” “If I had a needle, I could dig it out. Thank you for coming. I was so desperate.” He brushed aside her thanks. “You should see a doctor.” “No, I don’t want a doctor, I only want you.” The statement surprised him, but he gave no sign. Probably all part of the game to reel him in, but this fish wasn’t about to be caught and gutted by some conniving female. “I think there’s a coffee shop near here. You look like you could do with one.” “Thanks, I’ve got this awful headache from the tension.” Picking up the pink bag, he left Holly to wheel the pram. He would have to buy a few groceries at the department store in the retail area of his apartment building. He rarely ate at his apartment, and if he did, it was specially prepared food delivered to his door from a downstairs restaurant. “Cappuccino?” “Yes, thank you.” “A black coffee and a cappuccino,” he told the woman at the coffee bar. “We’ll be sitting down, 96

Holly And The Millionaire thanks. Oh, um, a piece of carrot cake too, please.” He handed over a twenty-dollar note. “What a lovely bambina you have.” “Yes, I think so.” The woman must think Lilly belonged to him, and he couldn’t be bothered setting her straight. For an instant, the thought popped into his head that he wished she was his, but he quickly crushed such a ridiculous notion. Holly slid into a bench on one side of the table while he sat opposite. “What happened at Glen Fern?” he asked abruptly, watching what little color she still had in her face ebb away. “I don’t want to talk about it.” “Why?” “Just forget about it.” She rubbed her forehead. “I don’t want to think about that place ever again.” “Yeah, not nice getting a knock back.” “I don’t know what you mean.” “No?” She couldn’t figure out what he was going on about, but it was something unpleasant as his mouth twisted with derision. Instinct told her he wasn’t about to enlighten her, and she didn’t feel up to pressing the point right now. He nodded his thanks when the woman brought over their order. “Keep the change.” His eyes narrowed as he watched Holly wolf down the cake, yet she sipped the coffee, taking dainty little mouthfuls. “You haven’t forgotten our deal,” he said brusquely. “Deal?” “Yes, the price for my help. I want everything crystal clear between us. I don’t want any reneging on the deal, regrets or recriminations later.” He knew he sounded like a bastard, but this arrangement was the only way he could think of to 97

Margaret Tanner get her out of his system once and for all. A few days living in close proximity would show her up in her true colors. He wouldn’t ever see her through rose tinted glasses again. “I agreed to sleep with you, and I will. You didn’t need to put conditions on your help.” She lowered her voice. “You only had to ask me, and I would have said yes.” Her whispered admission surprised him, pleased him, but the pain of what had happened with Owen still burned in his chest, fierce, all consuming. “Just so long as we understand each other,” he said with cold finality. “No strings, Holly. I’m not into long-term relationships.” She clenched her hand around the coffee cup. “I understand. What happens to me afterwards?” “Afterwards?” He hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I mean, when you move on to another woman.” The thought was killing. “What happens to me and Lilly?” She held her breath, waiting for him to say...what? He wanted her to stay? Wanted them to be a family? How stupid could a person get? I’m not into long-term relationships. The words were crystal clear. Did she want him to put them in writing? “You’ll be adequately compensated.” He made her feel cheap, insignificant. “That’s all right then,” she said, lowering her head so he wouldn’t see the bitter hurt and disillusionment in her eyes. Justin had turned out to be a predator too. “We both know where we stand now.” “Yes.” His eyes narrowed. “If you’ve finished your coffee, we might as well go.” He drained his cup and stood up, and Holly did the same. She had thrown herself on his mercy and had to accept the consequences. On pain of death, she must never let him 98

Holly And The Millionaire know how betrayed she felt. They had an agreement, strictly business. Instead of using money to pay for services rendered, she would use her body. She would call it a bartering system. It sounded better that way. Like any mother fighting for her child’s survival, no sacrifice would be too great, no cross too heavy to bear. She bit back on a bitter laugh. What had she expected from a ruthless multi-millionaire? Compassion and generosity hadn’t let Justin climb to the dizzying heights he occupied today. Without speaking, they walked out of the coffee bar. He wore a gray pinstriped suit, she idly noticed. The top two buttons on his pale gray shirt were undone, his burgundy silk tie loosened. “I hope I didn’t take you away from anything important,” she said stiffly. “Nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow.” He led the way to a white Mercedes, unlocked the boot and dumped the pink bag inside. Holly unstrapped Lilly and lifted her out of the stroller so he could fold it up. She was surprised when Lilly tried to grab hold of him. He made no move to take her but favored her with one of his devastating smiles. “Hello, little missie.” He flicked Lilly under the chin with a slender, tanned finger. The baby grabbed hold of it and hung on until he disentangled his hand. “She likes you, Justin.” “I don’t know why. I’m not a particularly nice person.” He was an utter bastard. He should have helped her without putting conditions on it—would have too, if she hadn’t offered herself to Owen. That hurt. It felt like battery acid corroding his insides. “You’ll have to sit in the back with her. I don’t have any child safety restraints.” As he held the door open, she wondered 99

Margaret Tanner whether he noticed the grass stains on the knees of her jeans—if he had any comprehension of what she had endured. “What does Lilly normally sleep in?” he asked abruptly. “She’s been sharing a bed with me.” “That will have to stop now. I’ve got a double bed in my spare room, but—” “She might fall out of bed,” Holly interrupted him. “She needs a cot.” “All right, we’ll go shopping later. There’s a large department store in my apartment building. It’s open until nine o’clock. You can get everything she needs; you’ve only got one bag so you’ll need things, too.” “You don’t have to spend your money on me. I don’t matter, just so long as Lilly has what she needs.” “What’s with you?” he snapped. “Why do you keep putting yourself down all the time? Of course you matter.” “Who to?” she asked bitterly. He nearly said me. “Lilly, hell, I don’t know. There must be someone.” “There’s not. No one has ever cared about me except Robbie.” How pathetic. He felt even worse about what he expected from her now. God, his own early life hadn’t been any bed of roses, but hers must have been real ugly. The Mercedes purred into life, and Holly gratefully sank into the soft, kid seats. “I like your car. I’ve never driven in a Mercedes before.” So this was how the rich and famous lived. He gave a careless shrug. “It’s okay, I guess.” “I thought you might have driven a Rolls Royce.” He snorted. “I’ve never flaunted my wealth.” No, he wasn’t the type. He was reserved, 100

Holly And The Millionaire secretive even, probably why he was so successful. He took people by surprise and waited until they were at their most vulnerable before going for the jugular. Bitter disappointment surged through her.

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Chapter Nine Justin drove into the rear of a multistoried, ultramodern, apartment tower. It looked to be built from some kind of smooth, shiny black stone— marble for all she knew. The windows were of tinted glass. He slid a magnetic card into a slot, and a set of iron gates soundlessly swung open to let the car pass through. They drove down a ramp to the private car park. “The lower floors of the building contain offices and retail areas. There’s a department store. You’d never have to leave the place if you didn’t want to.” That suited her. The less time she spent in public, the safer she felt. Justin carried the still folded-up stroller and the pink bag, while she held Lilly. They entered a private elevator from the car park. Once again, Justin inserted his card, and the door slid open. The building was high tech, but its wealthy tenants would expect nothing less. They alighted on the fiftieth floor. “I’ve got the penthouse suite,” he informed her. It wasn’t boasting, merely a statement of fact. “Do you rent the place?” It must cost him a fortune. “No, I own the building.” “The whole building?” she squeaked in surprise. “Yes. Well, my company does.” Thick, dove-gray carpet covered the floor. The walls and ceiling were of white marble tinged with 102

Holly And The Millionaire pink. He swiped his card to gain entry to the apartment. What an eye opener. She had never seen anything like it. Super expensive—it went without saying. White marble walls flecked with gold, ornate white-painted metal ceilings with concealed lighting. It was a lifeless, expensive mausoleum that left her feeling cold and frightened. The carpet in the lounge room was oyster gray, the furniture ultramodern—all shiny silver and glass. She put down Lilly, who immediately toddled over to a black leather couch and tried to climb up on it. “She’s walking now?” “Yes, she’s just started, not too steady yet.” Lilly’s little legs gave out, and she promptly sat down on her bottom. “The kitchen is through here. Do you cook?” He quirked one eyebrow. “Yes, I enjoy cooking.” “You can cook for me if you want. We’ll be just one happy little family.” There was a slight sneer in his voice, a vicious twist to his mouth. She ignored his sarcasm. “Have you been living here long?” She followed him out to a gleaming kitchen of stainless steel and glass. It looked as if it had never been used. “A few months. I travel a lot. Why?” She glanced around. “I just wondered. It looks sort of unlived in. I mean you don’t seem to have any personal possessions lying around.” He shrugged. “There are three bedrooms, but I’ve got all my computer systems set up in one of them. Don’t let Lilly go in there, for God sake.” “I don’t think this is going to work. This isn’t a place for children.” She gnawed her bottom lip in agitation. “I never meant it to be. Just make sure she 103

Margaret Tanner doesn’t touch anything. You can do that, surely?” “Of course I’ll watch her, but you’ll have to keep the rooms you don’t want her in closed off, and don’t put anything down low where she can reach it. She’s only a baby, she doesn’t understand.” Holly felt worse with every passing minute. Her head ached and her nerves were shredded. Now her hand started to throb as well. “Here, sit down,” he said brusquely leading her over to an armchair. “You look terrible.” She was trembling and white as death. Her eyes were wide, deep blue pools of suffering, and it moved him. He couldn’t bring himself to ask anything of her tonight because she appeared so overwrought. “Would you like something to eat or a cup of tea?” “Tea would be nice.” Squatting down beside her, he picked up her hand and turned it over. A large splinter was embedded deep within the soft flesh of her palm. “You might need a doctor to take this out.” He made a careful inspection of the injury, his touch gentle, his skin warm against hers. She felt an overwhelming desire to bring his hand up to cradle her face. “I can get it out with a needle. Luckily, it’s my left hand. Do you have a first aid kit?” “Yes, I’ll get it. No, you don’t.” Lilly had draped herself across his knee, and he lifted her away “Your mother needs to have her hand attended to. “Mumma, mumma.” She turned her attention to her mother, and Holly picked her up. Straight away, Lilly started searching for the breast. “You’re not still breastfeeding her?” He hated the idea of sharing Holly’s breasts with anyone, even Lilly. “She has solids as well.” 104

Holly And The Millionaire “Can’t you give her milk in a bottle or something?” “She won’t take it. Anyway, breast milk is best.” Giving a snort of annoyance, he stood up and left the room. Lilly kept grabbing at her breast, so Holly decided to feed her. To hell with Justin. His reaction proved to be typically male. He thought of breasts in a sexual context. She was prepared to cater to his every whim as part of their deal, but Lilly would always come first. He returned with a black leather box with a red cross painted on the lid. He had removed jacket and tie and rolled his shirtsleeves up to the elbows. His eyes darkened to a deep, slate gray as he sat next to them, watching Lilly intently. There was no way Holly could tell what went on in his head. After she finished one side, Lilly lost interest in Holly’s breast. She wanted what Justin held in his hand. “You can’t have it,” he said, moving it away from the chubby baby fingers. Lilly started to grizzle but stopped when he handed her a bunch of keys. “Now, Florence Nightingale I’m not, but I’ll do my best.” He gently swabbed the area around the splinter with an antiseptic-soaked piece of cotton wool. His face was so close Holly could see the fine lines around his eyes and the start of his five o’clock shadow. She closed her eyes, inhaling his special male scent and feeling the warmth of his body. She wished things could be different between them. He would think she shut her eyes because she didn’t want to watch what he did. If only he knew. She wanted to savor his nearness, to imagine what it would be like to have him love her like Robbie had. 105

Margaret Tanner “Ouch,” she yelped when the needle dug into her palm. He swore softly. “It’s broken off. I’ve only got half of it.” As he probed some more, she wanted to cry out in pain but gritted her teeth to stop any sound from coming out. “Got it.” He dabbed the wound with some antiseptic ointment and applied a piece of sticking plaster. “There you go, all finished.” He patted her on the head before standing up. “Thanks. You have gentle hands.” She suddenly wanted to feel them roaming over her body, touching, caressing. He gave a sudden grin, which wiped years off his age. “I’ve never been told that before.” He left the room and returned within a short time with a mug of tea. “Milk, no sugar?” “Yes, thanks. How did you remember?” He shrugged. “I just did. I’ll go downstairs to the deli and bring us something back for dinner. Their quiches are excellent. What will I get for Lilly?” “I’ve brought some jars of baby food along. She can have one tonight. I prefer to cook her vegetables myself. It’s better for her. You won’t mind if I use your stove?” “No, help yourself to anything you need. I’ll make arrangements for you to have an account at the department store downstairs. They’re sure to have a baby wear department. Tomorrow, you can get all the stuff that Lilly needs and some clothes for yourself as well. “You don’t have to buy me clothes.” She wondered whether he deliberately tried to make her feel cheap. “You sure as hell can’t live with just one pair of jeans and a top. Stock up on some food, whatever you feel up to cooking. I’m not a fussy eater. I can’t 106

Holly And The Millionaire remember when I last ate a home-cooked meal.” After Justin left, Holly picked up Lilly and wandered around his apartment as she came to grips with the decision she had made. The same clinical coldness prevailed in every room. At the far end of the lounge room, behind some double frosted glass doors, she discovered a small room with an enormous bay window opening on to a balcony. What a wonderful view one would get of the city skyline at night from here. Even though it contained no furniture, this was the nicest section in the whole apartment. It could be made to look warm and snug without much effort. She could imagine herself curled up on a nice comfy sofa with a novel. A king-size bed with a black, crushed velvet quilt and matching bolsters dominated the main bedroom. It was masculine looking. There was no other stand-alone furniture, as everything had been built in. How many of Justin’s other women had lived here? Jealousy lay in her stomach like curdled cream. It was none of her business how many women he entertained here. They had a business deal. Pure and simple. She’d have protection and a roof over their heads by giving him sex. Her emotions seesawed between humiliation at being just another notch in his belt, disloyalty to Robbie’s memory, and excited anticipation. Justin would be a consummate lover. She pulled herself up quickly. Love had nothing to do with it. She forgot that at her peril. The wardrobe looked enormous. There were a dozen or so suits, numerous shirts and other male attire hung up in neat rows, but they took up only a fraction of the hanging space. She didn’t dare open the drawers in case Justin came back and caught her snooping. The black and white marble bathroom 107

Margaret Tanner contained an enormous spa bath and double-sized shower recess, all with gold fittings. Would Justin expect her to shower with him? Excited goose bumps pebbled the skin of her arms. Her headache had disappeared, and her hand didn’t throb as much either. She started prowling around wondering what was keeping him. How long would he want her for? A few weeks? Months? It certainly wouldn’t be years. He had been adamant about not wanting a long relationship, let alone a permanent one. She must keep reminding herself of that— otherwise, she would let down her guard. It would be easy to fall for him, but it would prove an expensive mistake. She had loved Robbie and lost him to a war on the other side of the world, something beyond their control. But Justin—to lose him to another woman, knowing he lived in the same city as her—would be hell on earth. When Justin returned, he carried several bulging shopping bags. Lilly toddled up to him, excitedly grabbing at his legs. “Steady on, little missie. You’ll trip me over.” “Gee, you must be hungry,” Holly said. “Or are you stocking up?” “Neither. The stuff in here is for you and Lilly.” “What do you think of this?” He dragged out a bright multi-colored ball and gave it to Lilly who squealed with delight. There was a baby doll, a bucket of building blocks, plastic books and an assortment of other soft plush toys, including Winnie the Pooh. Holly gasped in shock. “You...you shouldn’t have bought so many things.” He shrugged. “At least you’re looking much better now.” He peered into her face. “You’ve got more color in your cheeks.” Don’t be swayed by his apparent concern, she 108

Holly And The Millionaire warned herself. “I do feel heaps better, probably because all the fear and stress are gone. I seem to go to pieces under pressure.” “Forget all that. Come and look at your presents. You can buy yourself some more stuff tomorrow. I’ve opened up an account for you downstairs. There’s a cot being delivered in an hour or so. I got the woman in the baby wear department to pick out what she thought we’d need to set Lilly up.” His statement shocked her. For a second, she nearly believed he cared, but reality soon kicked in. What was a few dollars to him? Cheap at the price, if it kept Lilly out of his hair. “You’ve been busy, but you didn’t have to buy all this for us. It wasn’t part of the agreement.” “To hell with the agreement. I wanted you to have some new things.” He passed a couple of the bags over to her. “Come on, tell me what you think.” Holly felt herself go hot all over when she looked at the mini V-lace panties and push-up bra sets. They were positively indecent, but gorgeous. Red and black were obviously his favorite colors, but how could he know her size? An educated guess, most probably. “Do you like them?” “They’re beautiful, but you shouldn’t have. I mean,” she bit her lip, “they must have been expensive.” “They were.” He gave a cheeky, little boy grin. “But worth every cent when I see you wearing them.” A white, almost see-through nightgown had satin shoestring tie straps. A black satin, kneelength number was slashed to mid thigh level. “What’s wrong? Don’t you like them?” “Of course I do.” Her lips trembled, and she blinked back emotional tears. Did he buy them 109

Margaret Tanner purely for sexual scintillation or because he wanted her to have something pretty? “What then?” He pulled her on to his lap, twisting her sideways so she could look into his face, but also keep an eye on Lilly who played with her new toys. “I only wanted to please you.” “I’ve never had anything like this before. Even with Robbie—” “Forget Robbie when you’re with me,” he growled. “I don’t want to compete with a dead war hero.” “I just meant—” He cut off the explanation with his mouth. Hot and hungry, it demanded a response, which she eagerly gave. He tasted so good. Her arms went up around his neck, and she maneuvered herself into a more comfortable position and clung to him, burying her fingers in the soft hair at his nape. She felt his tongue circumnavigating her mouth, giving gentle flicks every now and again. Blood rushed to her head, swamping her senses. Desire raced through her veins, white-hot liquid fire. His hand slipped under her T-shirt and massaged the bare flesh of her back. He rained kisses all over her face, her throat and the top of her shoulder where he had pushed her T-shirt down. Impatient hands brushed her hair aside, and she felt his teeth grazing the side of her throat before suckling the damp flesh. He would probably leave a mark on her skin, but she didn’t care. This kind of battle scar she wouldn’t mind carrying. His hand slid down her back until his fingers made contact with the waistband of her jeans. “Bloody tight jeans,” she heard him mutter. Suddenly, he put her aside and stood up. “We’d better stop now,” he said huskily, “while I’m still able to.” Even as he stepped back, she could see his 110

Holly And The Millionaire arousal outlined against the cloth of his pants. He followed her eyes and gave a grimace. “Lady, you pack a hell of a punch.” He dragged trembling fingers through his hair. “How long will it take to feed Lilly and get her ready for bed?” “I’d like to give her a bath.” “All right, do what you have to. I’ll select a nice wine for us to have with our quiche. Holly picked up Lilly and gave her a cuddle. “I might feed her before I give her a bath. She can be a messy eater.” After Lilly had eaten the jar of vegetables, Holly carried her straight into the bathroom as she had rubbed food in her hair and over her face. “God, she’s revolting.” Justin shuddered with distaste as he followed them. What would he do if he saw one of her dirty nappies? “Babies can be grubby little creatures,” she explained with a grin. “You get used to it, don’t you, Lilly Pilly?” “The towels are kept in here.” He pointed to the vanity unit that covered almost the whole of one wall. “There’s soap and stuff, just help yourself.” The enormous bath wasn’t suitable. “Would it be okay if I took a shower? I can wash Lilly at the same time.” “Of course it’s all right. Use anything you need,” he said irritably. “You don’t have to keep asking me.” She undressed Lilly first and sat her on a towel while she stripped off her own clothing. Holly had never seen such a luxurious bathroom except in the movies. After they finished showering, she put the same clothes back on again because she had nothing else to wear. Wrapping Lilly up in one of the soft fluffy bath sheets, she carried her out into the lounge room and dressed her for bed in a pink and white striped sleep suit. 111

Margaret Tanner Justin wasn’t anywhere to be seen. He must have slipped out to buy some wine to accompany their dinner. She was breastfeeding Lilly when he strode into the room. “They delivered the cot while you were under the shower, so I’ve set it up in the spare room.” “But—” “For God sake, you agreed to share my bed.” “It isn’t that, Justin. She’s not used to being on her own. What if she wakes up in the night?” “The bedrooms are next to each other. You’ll hear her if she calls out. I didn’t mean shut the door and lock her in.” Holly ran her fingers distractedly through her hair. “I know I’m overprotective towards her, but she’s all I’ve got.” Justin stared hard at her. You’ve got me, he almost said, gazing into her troubled blue eyes. Holly looked about sixteen, all damp and rosy from the shower with her hair falling about her shoulders in a damp cloud. The muscles in his groin tightened. Excitement swirled around in the pit of his stomach. There was no point in lying. They both knew he only wanted her here until his sexual cravings were slaked, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t continue to take care of them financially, even if she had offered herself to Owen. God, that hurt. The pain wouldn’t go away. It would end up poisoning his whole system if he wasn’t careful, but it eased the guilt he felt about their arrangement. “You don’t have to worry. I’ll always make sure you and Lilly are financially taken care of.” “Thanks, but I don’t expect you to. We made a deal and I’ll stick to it.” He watched her lips tremble. Those incredible, soft pink lips. Oh God, he didn’t want to eat quiche for dinner. He wanted Holly. He wanted to gobble 112

Holly And The Millionaire her all up. “When you want me to go, I won’t cause a fuss.” “Have you had many partners?” He tried to pour cold water on his sympathy and get them back on a business footing once more. “Only Robbie,” she whispered. “No one else?” He tried to hide his shock. “Ever?” That couldn’t be true. It didn’t make sense. Yet... She shook her head, and he didn’t know why, but he believed her. What reason would Owen have to lie? Doubt clouded his mind but he squashed it down so he wouldn’t feel such a bastard. “She’s asleep,” he finally said. “Put her to bed so we can eat our dinner.” When Holly returned from putting Lilly in her new, colonial style cot, Justin poured red wine into crystal goblets. He had set the table for two, white plates on red placemats with a red candle in a carved silver holder. “This looks nice. I didn’t realize you were so domestic,” she said, taking the chair he pulled out for her. “I’m not. Here, let’s have a toast before we eat. To us.” He clinked his glass with hers. “Yes, to us, Justin.” Her softly spoken response did funny things to his insides, turned them into complete mush. If he had even half a brain in his head, he would call the whole deal off right now. Instinct warned him Holly Kirwan was dangerous. She made him feel things he didn’t want to feel. Hot, explosive sex was all he wanted, and in a short while, his wish would be granted. The quiche tasted delicious. Holly devoured it but drank the wine sparingly, even if it was the most expensive she had ever tasted. She felt so nervous she wanted to scoff the whole bottle down, 113

Margaret Tanner but too much wine and breastfeeding were a bad mix. “That was nice, thanks.” She pushed her empty plate away. “Some more wine?” “No, it might upset Lilly.” “She must be old enough to be taken off the breast by now.” “I suppose so, but she likes it and so do I.” Holly stood up. “Do you want me to make some coffee?” “No, thanks. I want you to change into the white nightgown so I can see what it looks like.” “Now?” Her hands fluttered nervously at her throat. “Yes. I’ll clear away this mess and take a shower.” Holly hurried out into the lounge room and collected the shopping bags. Excitement swirled around in her stomach. She had seen the raw hunger in Justin’s eyes. Was he sex starved or did she really turn him on? He had been kind to Lilly and her, showering them with gifts and welcoming them into his home. Now, it was payback time. In the master bedroom, she laid the quilt back to reveal black satin sheets. She ran the flat of her hand across the bottom sheet. How silky and sensuous it felt. Rivulets of sensation raced up her arm, and a sudden hot, aching need surged through her femininity. She removed her clothes, and slipped the knee-length nightgown over her head. It was gossamer fine, so soft and sheer she felt almost naked. Never had she even dreamed of wearing such a sexually provocative garment. She stood by the bed, hesitating, wondering what to do next. The connecting door swung open and Justin strode in, a towel draped around his slim hips, his damp hair clinging to his head. His 114

Holly And The Millionaire body was tanned and well toned, his chest scattered with swirls of dark hair. Justin stopped dead in his tracks on seeing Holly. She was exquisite, so untouched and virginal looking he could scarcely believe she had given birth to a child. The breath caught in his throat. His heart lurched painfully before it started thudding against his rib cage. The light pouring down upon her lowered head turned her hair into liquid silver. The nightgown looked transparent. Her firm high breasts were in shadow, but he could see her nipples as dark smudges against the silken folds of the material. His eyes skimmed down over the rest of her body. Smooth, flat stomach and hips that were well rounded but in proportion to the rest of her slight frame. His eyes lingered on the triangle of golden curls nestling between her thighs—the enticing entry into paradise. Without speaking, he opened his arms wide. Hesitating only for a moment, she floated into them. He held her for a moment before picking her up and striding toward the bed. He laid her down, whipped the towel from around his hips and joined her on the bed. “Justin,” she whispered, brushing his chest with trembling hands. What if they weren’t compatible? Would he kick her out? “I hope you won’t be disappointed in me.” “I won’t be.” He gave her a gentle, restrained kiss on the lips before moving back a little, so he could run an exploratory hand down over her body, caressing her from shoulder to hip. “Exquisite,” he groaned, burying his face in the soft hollow of her throat. She smelt so good and tasted even better. He draped his leg over her to keep her close as he covered her tremulous lips with his own. Nectar of the Gods, he thought, 115

Margaret Tanner thrusting his tongue into the sweet depths of her mouth. He wanted to devour her. Easing back a fraction, he slid the straps of her nightgown down until her breasts were exposed. Pushing them together, he took both nipples into his mouth at once and suckled hard. Warm milk squirted into his mouth. It trickled down his throat. He had never tasted anything so sensual. Impatiently, he tugged the nightgown down over her hips. He wanted to feel naked flesh seared against naked flesh, and the nightgown, though flimsy, proved an impediment. It maddened him to the point where he wanted to rip it off, but she wriggled out of it, saving him the trouble. She lay on her back, knees raised, her thighs open, exposing her pubic curls. Justin could no more deny himself a taste than he could control a tornado. He parted the plump, pink lips with his thumbs. She was moist, hot, her bud quivering in anticipation as he slid his tongue inside. He felt her shudder and heard her strangled sob turn into a sigh as he worked her. Dipping into, tasting, gulping down the golden secretions that were building up, swamping her feminine bud. He inhaled her womanly perfume and felt the heat of her need. It empowered him—emboldened him to thrust deeper and deeper, almost bringing her to orgasm but pulling back at the very last second. Holly felt the thrust of his erection pressing into her thigh, the heat of his body, the urgency of his hands and mouth as they explored at will. Touching, tantalizing, whipping her up into an emotional frenzy where nothing mattered but him. “Touch me,” he growled. She did so eagerly, wantonly, clasping the long, silken length of his manhood, marveling at its size, its texture, its potency. He flung his arm out, fumbling with the 116

Holly And The Millionaire drawer of his bedside table. Even in her dazed state, she realized he was searching for a condom. “No.” She pulled his arm away. She would die if he erected any kind of barrier between them. “It doesn’t matter,” she gasped. “I’m using contraception.” He covered her, his powerful male shaft driving into her love canal with a divine savagery she hadn’t thought possible. In the throes of passion, she felt ecstasy—the sensation of floating away on a golden cloud. Then he started moving inside her, deeper and deeper, thrusting harder, faster, frantically until his manhood was buried up to its hilt. She felt her climax building, higher and higher until it reached a fiery pinnacle. Suddenly, he reached his climax. “Holly,” he cried out her name as he exploded deep within the sacred orifice of her womanhood—so close to her womb, she wondered whether the tip of his shaft might have actually touched it. He rolled over on to his back, bringing her over with him. With her knees pressed up hard against his hips, she rode him fiercely until she felt him shudder as he came for a second time. “Holly, my God, wow,” he gasped. “You weren’t disappointed?” she whispered. “Hell no, it was great.” He flicked off the light and held her close. She kept her eyes shut so the tears wouldn’t fall. What had she expected him to say? They had made a pact hadn’t they? Sex in exchange for a roof over Lilly’s and her head. Her cheek rested on his bare chest. She could hear his heart thudding in her ear and feel his warm breath stirring in her hair. His hand started trailing gently up and down her spinal cord. “Relax, Holly, it’s going to be good between us.” Good? What an understatement he thought, 117

Margaret Tanner feeling drowsy and satiated. Holly had gone off like a firecracker once he lit the right fuse. Had she been like that with her husband? The thought was like a knife twisting in his guts. He ran his fingers through her tumbled hair. It felt baby soft, fine as gossamer. She slept, her hand resting on his hip, her knee nestled between his thighs.

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Chapter Ten When Holly woke, it was pitch black in the bedroom. She felt warm and cosseted wrapped in Justin’s arms. He slept peacefully, his breathing regular and even. She wished it were daylight so she could gaze upon his naked body. If only she could have made love to him without their agreement. She eased herself away from him, and still naked, slipped out of bed to check on Lilly. In the spare room, the baby slept soundly. “Everything all right?” Holly jumped when he spoke right next to her ear. “Yes, I just wanted to check.” He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head, and they stood together, stark naked. “Let’s go back to bed.” His voice sounded rich with promise. He wanted to make love to her again. No, she corrected herself, have sex. Love didn’t come into it with Justin. It was carnal need, pure and simple, and if she valued her sanity, she would chisel the words into her brain and never forget them. “Come on.” He gave her a gentle slap on the backside. “I’m getting impatient.” After they returned to the bedroom, he picked her up, kissing and cuddling her before impaling her on his aroused manhood. She wrapped her legs around him, leaning back in his arms, giving him unimpeded access to her breasts, and he stood there suckling her nipples until they swelled and hardened in his mouth. He edged them toward the 119

Margaret Tanner bed, and still joined as only a man and woman can be, he lowered them down on to the sheet. It felt cool against her heated back. Her feminine vault was hot, moist and ready to receive him. He slid in easily. Justin knew he was a big man. Holly was tiny and fragile, yet she could accommodate his manhood. It both amazed and excited him. He thrust and parried, laving her aroused flesh until it pulsated against his skin, drawing him in deeper, cradling him snugly. He forgot everything as he fought a desperate battle to restrain his rampaging desire, to hold back until she reached her climax, teetering on the brink, until they both toppled over the edge into a swirling vortex of primitive desire and sheer carnal need. She was trembling, her body slick with perspiration, her breath coming in short, labored pants when he rolled away. He cursed under his breath for expecting too much of her. She still fed Lilly, and before coming here, God alone knew when she last ate a decent meal. For the first time in his life, he felt guilty for not controlling his sexual hunger and showing more consideration for his partner’s wellbeing. It worried him, and he didn’t like to be worried. Damn it. They made a deal, didn’t they? Hot, commitment-free sex. He held her close, resting his chin on her soft hair and inhaling her perfume—a mixture of sweet innocence and aroused woman. His little waif was an enigma. **** Holly woke up when Lilly called out, “Mumma, Mumma.” Nine o’clock! She was alone in the king-sized bed. No sign of Justin except for rumpled sheets and a delicious languidness left over from what they had shared last night. She couldn’t believe the passion he aroused in her. What a consummate 120

Holly And The Millionaire lover. Forget the love, she reminded herself as she slid out of bed. Justin wanted sex, not love. Slipping into the nightgown she had so wantonly discarded last night, she hurried into Lilly’s room. “How’s my baby?” Lilly squealed with delight and shook the sides of the cot. “Mumma, mumma.” Holly lifted her up. “Hungry, darling?” She carried Lilly out into the kitchen and spied a note stuck on the fridge door. I’ll be back about six. Help yourself to anything you want. Buy some clothes for yourself and Lilly, and anything you need from the grocery section. You can lock the door of the apartment behind you by pulling it shut, but you’ll need to see John at the security desk to get back in. I’ll arrange for them to give you a key card and explain how to use it. Justin After they finished breakfast, Holly sat Lilly in the stroller, and they left the apartment. She pulled the door behind them and it closed with a click. The elevator whizzed down the fifty floors in a couple seconds. She pushed the stroller out into a long passageway, and at its very end stood a security desk with a couple of uniformed men sitting behind it. The older of the two men climbed to his feet when he saw her. “Holly Kirwan?” he asked. “Yes.” “I’m John. Mr. Devereux wanted me to give you this card.” He produced a gold key card with black writing on it and proceeded to explain how it worked. “If there is anything else you need, just let me know. There’s someone here twenty-four hours a day.” He reached across and tickled Lilly under the chin. “She’s a pretty baby.” “Thank you, I think so.” Holly smiled. John was a man in his forties, slim and wiry, ex-military 121

Margaret Tanner by the looks of him. “Can you point me in the direction of the department store, please?” “Sure, love. Turn left, then right, and you’ll end up at the front entrance.” He gave her a long, speculative look. Had Justin entertained other women in his apartment? If so, they wouldn’t be ordinary like her. No doubt they were sophisticated and gorgeous—it went without saying. A quick glance at the refined décor, welldressed clientele and inflated prices confirmed the exclusiveness of the store. The male staff wore suits and ties, and the women wore black skirts and white silk blouses. “Are you lost, Madam?” A middle-aged man with a plum-in-the-mouth accent, rather like Bob Kirwan’s, strode up ready to usher her away. “Mr. Devereux made arrangements for me. I’m Holly Kirwan.” “Oh, of course,” he gushed. “If there is anything we can do to help, please don’t hesitate.” His fawning, ingratiating manner grated on her nerves. Hypocrite! He had been prepared to run her out of the shop before. Now, he was all over her like a rash. Marvelous what having access to power and wealth could do for a person. “Thanks.” She walked away. “Well, Lilly Pilly, we’re in the big league now.” It had come at a price though. She inwardly cringed, because it would be obvious to everyone in the store that she was Justin Devereux’s mistress—a kept woman—or whatever the modern terminology was. The department store boasted a large baby wear and children’s section. She bought several outfits for Lilly. The prices were astronomical, obscene really. She wouldn’t think about it, not now anyway. Perks of office. She bit back on a hysterical laugh. Spoils to the victor, but she didn’t feel very victorious. Quite the reverse, in fact. She 122

Holly And The Millionaire wanted to turn tail and run, but she didn’t have anywhere else to go. In the lady’s boutique, Holly bought a pair of designer label jeans. The store sold nothing else. She tried on a pair of tailored slacks and a couple of casual tops. Soft, silky underwear. It was criminal paying so much for such flimsy scraps of material. Recklessly she splurged on an after-five frock. “In case Justin takes us out somewhere nice for a meal,” she told Lilly who sat quite happily in the stroller. You’re a fool. She castigated herself for being such an idiot even as she slid the black, bra-top dress on. It had thin, sequenced straps and matching side panels, and she felt a million dollars in it. The smooth white skin of her shoulders and her blonde hair were a perfect foil, she decided, preening herself in the full-length, gilded mirror. She was Justin’s mistress, employed to share his bed and look after his creature comforts, but nothing else. A captive in a gilded cage until he got bored with her. She wasn’t his wife and never would be. She wasn’t even his girlfriend, but just for once, she would indulge herself. In the shoe department, she selected a pair of soft, black leather high heels with a tiny wedge of diamantes on the toes to match the dress, and she picked up some low-heeled shoes to wear with slacks and jeans. Reckless with this newfound, if only temporary, wealth, she went into the grocery section and splurged out. The most expensive cuts of steak, a jar of caviar, pate, crayfish and prawns. Justin could afford the best and would expect it. She would make up seafood cocktails. On the spur of the moment, she bought bunches of red and yellow roses, and some black shiny vases to brighten up the stark, clinical looking apartment. Piling all her purchases into the stroller, she 123

Margaret Tanner carried Lilly as they made their way back to the security guard post. John greeted her with a smile. His companion just nodded, but both of them stared at the bulging shopping bags in Lilly’s stroller. They probably think I’m a grasping, greedy bimbo squandering Justin’s money. She inwardly cringed but couldn’t let it show. Pride was all she possessed now. She had sold everything else to Justin Devereux. She knew he enjoyed what they had shared last night even if he hadn’t said so, but how long would his interest hold? What would Robbie think about her giving herself to another man so soon after his demise? Not just giving, but also enjoying the experience. I’ll always love you, Robbie. She almost doubled over with the pain of her loss. Their life together had been sweet and tender. The memories were almost too poignant to bear. Robbie would understand why she must do this thing for Lilly, but would he understand the feelings Justin aroused in her? The primitive raw desire. The sheer carnal need turning her into a wanton siren, a sex slave willing to do his bidding. She caught the elevator up to the fiftieth floor and swiped the card to gain entry to the apartment without a hitch. After feeding Lilly and putting her down for a nap, she made herself a cup of English tea and ate a piece of leftover quiche from last night. **** Justin glanced at his watch. Six o’clock. He had always been a creature of habit. He swiped his card and stepped inside the apartment, sniffing appreciably as he did so. Holly came out to greet him. Her cheeks were pink, her hair pushed back showing off tiny shelllike ears. “Hi. Did you have a good day?” She took his briefcase, stood on tiptoe and kissed him full on 124

Holly And The Millionaire the mouth. “Wow, what a welcome home.” He laughed, feeling supremely happy. “Yes, I had a good day.” It’s getting better by the minute, he thought. “Something smells good.” He leaned down to rescue his leg from Lilly who clung to it like a limpet. “What have you been up to, little missie?” “We went down to the department store and did some shopping.” Holly motioned him to a chair and handed him a glass of wine. He sat down, quirking his eyebrows in unspoken query. “It was the same brand we drank last night so I thought you must like it, but—” “Hey, I like it. Don’t get yourself worked up.” She came to stand beside him, resting her hand on his shoulder. “I hope I didn’t spend too much money. We didn’t buy very much, but everything seemed expensive.” “I told you to buy whatever you needed.” It touched him that she felt genuinely concerned about spending his money. This wasn’t the act of a gold-digger. So, why the hell had she offered herself to Owen? Her baby blue eyes had darkened to deep sapphire. The pupils were enlarged, luminous, almost black. “You don’t need to worry about spending my money. I trust you to be reasonable. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have given you a free hand.” She ran her fingertips across his cheek. “I don’t want to abuse your hospitality, I...” He stared into her eyes, and what he saw there scared the hell out of him. It was more than desire. It was a desperate kind of wanting, a burning need. “For God sake,” he flared, brushing her aside and standing up. “You earned it.” He strode toward the bedroom, forcing himself not to turn around. What the hell was wrong with him? He loosened his tie and undid the top buttons on his shirt. Lilly 125

Margaret Tanner crawled along after him. “No, you don’t.” He grabbed the straps of her overalls and gently pushed her away from the doorway, fully expecting Holly to dash up and grab her. She didn’t. He glanced up, and she stood next to the chair, her shoulders slumped dispiritedly. She hadn’t moved an inch, but her whole body trembled. If he were close enough, he knew he would see tears shimmering on her lashes. Damn it. He eased the door shut so as not to jam Lilly’s fingers and strode into the bedroom. The bed had been made up. There was nothing left lying around, but a vase of red and yellow roses stood on the dressing table, adding color to what he now realized had been a stark room. In the top right hand corner of his mirror, he noticed a small stick-on motif of a black cat with bright green eyes and a pale green bow tied around its neck. He rummaged around in his drawer for jeans and a T-shirt then strode into the bathroom to shower. The table was already set for the two of them, but Holly checked everything again. She wanted it to be perfect for Justin, to welcome him home like she used to do with Robbie. He strolled in about ten minutes later. Freshly showered, he looked like some pagan warrior. Lilly made a beeline toward him—this time on her two feet. Justin laughed and put out his hands to catch her as she started to stagger. “Hey, careful you don’t fall.” He supported her with his hands under her arms. “If you’re ready to eat, I’ll put out the food.” Holly’s voice held no emotion now, just a dull flatness as if all the life had been squeezed out of her. “I’m ready.” He came over and sat at the table. “Sorry about before, I can be surly sometimes.” It 126

Holly And The Millionaire wasn’t only what he read in her eyes, but what she might have read in his that panicked him. “It’s your apartment. You’ve paid for me, so be as rude as you like.” “Damn it, I’ve apologized. What more do you want me to do?” “Nothing, Justin, absolutely nothing.” She thrust the seafood cocktail at him before sitting opposite. She had worked hard all day preparing a nice meal for them, but it might as well be cardboard for all the taste it had. Why let him get to her? They had a deal. Being pleasant to her and appreciating what she tried to do for him didn’t come with the package. She was a fool to think they could ever share anything more than sex. When they finished eating their entree, she gathered up the dishes and went to get the next course—steak and salad, served with hot miniature rolls. It had been a labor of love, done because she had wanted to please him. It proved a wasted effort though. He had ruthlessly put her back in her place because he didn’t want her to make a home for him. He just wanted her to share his bed. They ate their meal in a fraught silence. The steak tasted succulent. It was the best that money could buy and cooked to perfection. The mixed salads had turned out even better than she anticipated. Dessert was a masterpiece, light, fluffy crepes served with a sweet passion fruit sauce. Even though Lilly had already eaten, Holly fed her some of the crepes off her spoon as the baby leaned against her knee. “I enjoyed the meal, thank you,” Justin said quietly. “I’ve got some work I want to do in the study.” What a barefaced lie. Nothing pressing needed his attention, but he couldn’t sit there and watch 127

Margaret Tanner the hurt in Holly’s eyes. She had gone to a lot of trouble preparing the meal, adding a few feminine touches to the apartment, trying to breathe life into it. He stood up. “By the way, I normally use a cleaning service to keep the place tidy. Do you want me to still get them to come in?” “No,” she shot back. “While I’m here, I’ll attend to it as part of our arrangement. Call it a bonus.” She turned away from him and collected the dirty dishes. From the corner of her eye, she watched him stalk off. **** Justin, who had become engrossed in his work, heard the shower running. He glanced at his watch, ten o’clock. He yawned and stretched. He usually retired late but rose early. He only needed four or five hours sleep to function. He had no intention of sleeping now. Not for a while anyway. He wanted a long session of hot sex with Holly. She was still in the shower when he stepped into the steamed-up bathroom, but he could see her wraithlike figure outlined against the frosted glass. The temptation to rip off his clothes and join her under the water proved to be almost irresistible. Instead, he peeled off his T-shirt and unbuckled his belt. Fantasizing about what he wanted to do with Holly made his groin tighten. Watching her run the soap over her breasts, her flat stomach and the golden fluff between her thighs made his flesh harden to such an extent he unbuttoned the fastening on his zipper to ease the pressure. As she turned around and exposed her trim little backside, the breath caught in his throat, but it almost choked him when she bent over to pick up the face washer from the shower cubicle floor. He wanted to yell at her to hurry up. Unless she’d just gone blind, she would know he was 128

Holly And The Millionaire watching. Was she deliberately tantalizing him, or prolonging the moment when she had to join him? He would have given up a huge chunk of his fortune to know for certain. She turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. “Inspecting the merchandise? Making sure you’re getting value for money?” The raw bitterness in her voice struck him with rib-cracking force. Damn it, if that’s the way she wanted to carry on, he could live with it. “Yeah, I am.” He handed her a towel and she dried herself. “Do you want me to wear the black nightie?” “No,” he growled. “I want you naked.” Reaching across with one hand, he loosened the ribbon tying back her hair. With his other hand, he whipped away the towel and dropped it on the floor. “For God sake, Holly, don’t keep me waiting any longer.” He swung her up in his arms and strode into the bedroom. A long time later, she lay curled up in Justin’s arms as he slept soundly, completely satiated, and why shouldn’t he? She had given him everything he asked for and more. She turned herself into a sexual vamp to please him. He was a master seducer and a talented lover. No... a sex expert. She would do well to remember love didn’t come into it for Justin. He knew exactly how to arouse her to the point of madness—as she did to him. They played each other like some impassioned maestro conducting a rousing symphony.

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Chapter Eleven After Justin left for work early in the morning, Holly brought Lilly into bed and fed her. The man was a workaholic. It was Saturday, and he still couldn’t pry himself away from his business empire. “What are we going to do today, Lilly Pilly?” “Juju.” The baby eyes searched the room for Justin. “He isn’t here, darling,” she soothed. “He’s gone to work.” A large open-air market flourished not too far away. They would go there to while away a few hours. With plenty of people around, she felt safe. They would blend in and throw any English bloodhounds off their scent. Holly dressed in jeans and a blue singlet top with lace trim around the neck and arms. It was going to be hot. She didn’t bother with a hat for herself but put a bonnet on Lilly even though the hood of the stroller would shelter her delicate baby skin from the burning rays of the sun. Justin’s apartment was air-conditioned like the rest of the building, so the heat hit them as they ventured outside. It felt glorious having the sun on her bare skin. She inhaled the intoxicating smells of a thriving, busy city, petrol fumes and all, as she walked along pushing the stroller. She loved the hustle and bustle of the market. Vendors yelled out about their wares as they tried to entice more customers over. The fruit and vegetables were fresh, a mere fraction of the price 130

Holly And The Millionaire demanded by the department store. She didn’t have the benefit of using Justin’s account, but luckily she did have some money in her purse. Tropical fruit salad for dessert, she decided, splurging out on a pineapple, mangoes and watermelon. During a brief respite from their frantic sex when they were trying to regain their breath, Justin casually mentioned having a barbecue set up on his rooftop garden. Until then, she didn’t even know about his rooftop garden. Passing a second-hand bookstall, she stopped to browse for a moment. A yellow-covered paperback with black writing on the front caught her eye, Give Your Man Sexual Variety. Casting a furtive look around, she picked it up and handed it to the stallholder. “Could you put it in a bag, please?” How embarrassing to be caught carrying such a book. The two dollars would be well spent if it helped her entertain Justin. She would buy their meat at the department store—top quality steak and imported continental sausages were beyond her modest means, but Justin expected the best, and she would provide it. When they arrived back at his building, Holly decided she would have to take her market shopping up to the apartment before venturing into the department store for their meat. Management wouldn’t appreciate her bringing in lowly marketbought produce in case it somehow tainted their expensive, imported fare. When she stopped for a moment to chat with John, the security guard, he offered to mind the stroller while she bought the meat. “Thank you, I’m still a little wary of that fancy lift,” she confessed. “Nothing to be frightened of, it is state of the art. Everything in this building is high tech. Justin Devereux wouldn’t live here otherwise.” “Have you worked for him long?” 131

Margaret Tanner “Most people moved into this building about three years ago. I’ve been working here since it opened. Before that, I ran security in one of his office blocks. I joined Devereux Enterprises when I left the army about ten years ago.” “You were in the army?” That explained a lot of things about him. “My husband served in the army too.” “Really? Where is...” Embarrassed, he trailed off. She picked up Lilly before answering. “He got killed in Iraq.” “Oh?” John raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “There have only been a couple of Aussie’s killed over there.” “He served in the English army.” She tried to keep the wobble out of her voice. “He was with the Americans and their plane got shot down. There were no survivors.” “I’m sorry, love.” His eyes were full of sympathy. “I didn’t realize.” “It’s all right. I suppose the pain of losing him will lessen with time,” she said sadly. What must he think of her—a widow moving in with a rich man with her soldier husband not even cold in his grave? She didn’t need to read the condemnation in his eyes. She already felt weighted down with guilt, but she defended herself staunchly. “I’ve got Lilly to think of. The government pension isn’t worth much, and I don’t have any relatives. Justin has been kind to us.” That was the pitiful part. She wanted him to be more than just kind. Was she mad? It was one thing having people suspect she might be sleeping with Justin, but another thing to actually admit it. She cursed her runaway tongue. “I understand. Off you go and get your meat. I’ll watch the stroller. Sorry I can’t offer to mind 132

Holly And The Millionaire the little one though.” “Thanks, I’ll take her with me.” She picked up Lilly and walked slowly toward the department store. She hated going in there, hated the condescending looks cast her way by the haughty staff. In the meat section, she bought two pieces of eye fillet steak and a selection of imported sausages. When she returned for the stroller, John gave her a friendly smile. “Got what you wanted?” “Yes, thanks. Justin mentioned a rooftop garden. How do I get there?” “Ah, that’s easy.” He chuckled. “He gave a staff Christmas party there last year. You access it through his bay window.” “Oh, I thought it just opened on to a small balcony.” “No, you follow the balcony along to the end of the building, turn left, go down a couple of steps, and you’ll run straight into the garden. It’s been designed for complete privacy.” “Thanks, John. Catch up with you next time I’m down here.” When Lilly went down for a nap, Holly decided to explore the rooftop garden. She opened the frosted glass door and entered the little room. With a comfortable chair, a colorful floor mat and perhaps a table, it could be a cozy little bolthole, her own special space. She opened the outside door and propped it open using her shoe so it wouldn’t blow shut and lock her out. Justin’s apartment finished almost at the end of the building. They were up so high the cars driving along in the street below looked like toys. It was both scary and exciting. It wasn’t more than half a dozen paces along the balcony to the steps leading down into the garden. She couldn’t believe her eyes. There were built-up garden beds along three sides containing 133

Margaret Tanner numerous native shrubs and clumps of bamboo. Several trees stood in enormous fancy clay pots. What an oasis—a little piece of green paradise fifty stories above the city pavements. A state-of-the-art brick and stainless steel barbeque had a grill and rotisserie. The whole area would be about the size of a tennis court, perfect for their meal and the other things she planned. She wanted to keep Justin happy. For her own and Lilly’s sake, the longer they stayed with him, the more of a nest egg she could build up with the government pension money. The more chance she had of him feeling... Fool. Justin’s only feeling toward her was of the sexual variety. Variety being the operative word. He would quickly become bored with bedroom sex because he had no emotional attachment to her. The paperback book she bought from the market, Give Your Man Sexual Variety, had been an absolute eye opener, and she wanted to put some of her newly acquired knowledge to the test. **** Justin arrived right on six o’clock. She met him at the door with a kiss. “No,” he growled when she went to pull away. “I’ve been longing to taste your lips all day.” His mouth closed over hers, hard and urgent, demanding a response, which she willingly gave. He strained her close, pushing his knee between her jean-clad thighs. “Where’s Lilly?” he groaned, easing his knee away but arching her body into his erection, keeping her there with his hands clasped across her bottom. “Playing with her toys in the bedroom. Not now, Justin, she might come out. Anyway, I’ve got something special planned for later.” “Oh yeah?” He angled his head back and stared straight into her face. His eyes were deep, unfathomable slate-gray pools, but his nostrils 134

Holly And The Millionaire flared ever so slightly. His exquisite, well-shaped mouth was pursed in query. “It will be worth the wait,” she promised. “I hope so.” He gave a feral growl and goose bumps of sensation pebbled her arms. Lilly must have heard him arrive home. She toddled up to him, arms outstretched. “Juju,” she babbled. Laughing, he bent down and picked her up. “How have you been, little missie?” She put her arms around his neck and started wetting his face with slobbery kisses. “Ugh.” He gave a theatrical shudder. “Lilly, leave Justin alone.” Holly suddenly noticed he wore casual attire—tailored beige sports pants and a burgundy short-sleeved shirt without a tie. “Sit down and I’ll get you a drink. Wine?” “Yes, thanks.” He sat down and perched Lilly on his knee. “What did you do today?” “We went to the market.” “I don’t think you should be wandering all over the place on your own.” “I’m careful. We blended in with the crowd. I wanted to get some fresh fruit and vegetables.” “You can buy them at the department store.” “They’re fresher at the market and much cheaper.” He gave an annoyed snort. “How did you pay for them?” “I’ve got some money of my own. I—” “How much did you spend?” He pulled his wallet out of his pocket. “No,” she said, amazed that he felt obliged to pay for everything. “I wanted to buy something for you out of my own money. I decided fresh fruit would be nice. I’m going to make it up as a special treat.” She came up to him. “Don’t be angry.” Resting her hand on his shoulder, she stood staring down 135

Margaret Tanner at him. “Let me give you something. I want you to know how I appreciate you taking us in like you did.” Justin felt his cheeks burn. “My motives weren’t purely altruistic.” They were bloody selfish, purely carnal. How was it she could make him feel like a contemptible bastard without even trying? “Juju.” Lilly swiped at his face with a chubby hand. “What’s she saying?” “She’s calling you by your name. Juju is the closest she can come up with, I guess.” “I’m flattered.” Holly moved away. She didn’t want him to read the pain in her eyes, the hopelessness of the situation. Lilly would never be able to call any man Daddy. Robbie was dead, and Justin, the only man who could ever take his place, saw her and Lilly as only a temporary diversion. She would have given up twenty years of her life to hear him say, “Call me Daddy.” But why should he? “I thought we could have a barbeque,” she said from the kitchen as she chopped up the salad vegetables. “It’s such a fine evening.” He shrugged. “If you want to. I’ll go and light it.” “That would be good. I’ve fed Lilly, and she’s ready for bed. I think our shopping trip tired her out.” He stood up, still holding Lilly. “Do you want to come outside and help me check the barbeque over?” He tickled her belly, and she gurgled with laughter. “You will watch her. I mean, she’s a pretty good climber.” “No way could she fall off that garden roof. There’s a five-foot wall around it. I’ll make sure she doesn’t come to any harm.” “I know, but I can’t help worrying.” 136

Holly And The Millionaire “You’ll end up with ulcers or a nervous breakdown worrying all the time.” As Holly made her way to the garden with the meat, she heard Lilly’s excited shrieks. The sun, setting between the skyscrapers, turned the sky into a picturesque pink and red tapestry, but it wasn’t the sunset that gave her heart a painful jolt. Justin, with Lilly on his shoulders, galloped up and down pretending to be a horse, neighing and pawing the ground with one foot. How heart rending to watch a man who had such a natural rapport with children yet didn’t have any of his own. He looked up and gave a rather sheepish grin. “She’s a demanding little thing, isn’t she?” He lifted Lilly off his shoulders and put her on the ground, but she tenaciously clung to his legs. “I’ve lit the barbeque. Have you got our meat?” “Yes.” Holly handed it to him. He had already pulled down a foldaway table attached to the wall. Two chairs were set out also. “I didn’t notice those chairs before.” “There’s a shed up here behind the trellis work. I keep a few things in it along with the gardener’s tools.” “Gardener?” “Yeah. I don’t have time to water the plants or maintain them.” “How does he get up here?” “There’s a lift operating during office hours. It services all the other floors. He uses that. The back door is locked, but he’s got a key and the code numbers. All very secure. Why? Were you thinking of sunbathing topless?” he teased. How close to the truth he was. “No, I wouldn’t be game.” He laughed. “It’s private and sheltered from every other high-rise building in the vicinity. You could walk around stark naked in the middle of the 137

Margaret Tanner day and no-one would see.” She spread a red cloth on the table and set everything up on it. She would leave dessert for later when Lilly was in bed and it was dark. Excitement swirled around in the pit of her stomach. The steak was melt-in-the-mouth tender, the sausages spicy and delicious. The salad vegetables were crisp and crunchy. Everything had turned out to perfection. “Now, don’t tell me you can’t taste the difference between these vegetables and the ones from the department store.” “They’re nice and crunchy, but I normally have food sent up if I’m home, so I don’t often eat salad.” He shrugged. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. I thought everyone liked salad.” “I do like it. I just don’t eat it very often.” Lilly started to grizzle now it was getting dark. “I’ll give her a drink and put her to bed before we have our dessert. All right?” “Sure. I’ll unwind with another drink. Want me to pour you out one?” “No, thanks, maybe later.” She picked up Libby. “Say goodnight to Justin.” “Juju,” the baby gabbled something else neither of them could understand. “Sleep tight, little missie.” Holly walked back inside carrying Lilly who tugged at her hair. What a fabulous setup. A rooftop garden on a high-rise building was obviously not impossible for anyone wealthy enough to pay for it. Holly sat down in a chair and let Lilly drink her fill. The baby fell asleep halfway through the second side, and she eased her nipple from the rosebud mouth. After tucking up Lilly in her cot, Holly went 138

Holly And The Millionaire out into the kitchen to put her plans into operation. The fruit, already cut in cubes, rested in a glass bowl. Gathering up two dessert plates, spoons and a towel, she took the final, most important ingredient from the fridge. A spray can of cream. Her stomach started churning now—a combination of nerves and raw excitement. Would Justin like what she planned for him? The sex book declared it to be every man’s fantasy, but what if it turned out a nightmare? When she returned to the garden, Justin lay sprawled in his chair, a glass of wine in his hand, his eyes closed. He had switched on a coach lamp. It stood on a tall fancy column and bathed the area in a soft, translucent light. She crept up behind him and ruffled his hair. “Wake up sleepyhead.” “I wasn’t asleep. Lilly settle down okay?” “Yes, she’s worn out.” They ate their dessert in silence. Holly could hardly swallow hers because of the nervous tension in her stomach. Her hand trembled as she raised the spoon to her mouth. He suddenly broke the silence. “I enjoyed that, thank you. What’s the surprise you’ve got for me?” “Soon.” Her hands trembled as she took the bowl from him and put it on the table. “Close your eyes, no peeking. I’ll call you when I’m ready.” Holly moved away from him but made sure the light would still fall on her. She spread the towel out on the ground, stripped off her clothes and stretched out on it naked. Picking up the trusty spray can, she covered her nipples with the cream then drizzled a trail of it down her belly. On her bellybutton, she sprayed another mound and stuck a strawberry in the middle of it. She allowed the creamy trail to continue downwards until it disappeared between her thighs. Could she carry this through? Too late for second thoughts now. 139

Margaret Tanner “Come over here,” she invited softly. He got up from his chair and swung around. “My God,” he gasped. Slowly, as if in a trance, he came toward her. The look of shock on his face would have been comical at any other time. “I thought you might still be hungry.” “I am.” He gave a low, fierce growl, ripped off his clothes and sank to his knees beside her. “I’m ravenous.” Heat surged through her body and she fought a desperate battle to subdue it. This was Justin’s treat. Hers would come later. She almost climaxed just thinking about the feel of his hard, potent manhood thrusting deep inside her feminine vault. He pushed her breasts together and started his feast. Sucking and licking, he took the culinary journey down her body, not daring to waste even one precious drop. He trembled when he reached the special place where her thighs ended. Holly sensed his excitement. Her breasts ached and desire, like a frenzied whirlpool, swirled around in the pit of her stomach. The book hadn’t exaggerated. She felt seductive, wanton. Even if it was only for a short time, she had power over him. It emboldened her, took away her nervous inhibitions. “Open your legs.” He gave the order in a husky voice. “I don’t want to miss any.” He couldn’t believe what Holly did to him, the way she made him feel. He was shocked, excited and aroused to the point of madness. He had never known such need, never felt such urgency before in his life. He buried his face in her soft curls and lapped up the sweet tribute she had sprayed on just for him—every single drop—and it still wasn’t enough to slake his hunger. He took her bud, the rosy quivering bud that promised so much carnal delight, and suckled it hard, drawing it right into his mouth, grazing it with his teeth, loving it. 140

Holly And The Millionaire She writhed under him, needing to feel his hard length inside her, desperately, immediately. She wanted him to lave her love canal, bruise the flesh and create the friction that would sear them together. When she thought she couldn’t stand it a moment longer, he thrust between her thighs and granted her wish. “Holly,” Justin cried out when they finally reached a shuddering climax and collapsed in a heap of tangled limbs and sweat-slicked bodies. “You’re really something.” Holly couldn’t believe how well her feast had been received, the heights of passion they were able to climb. She couldn’t believe she had made love, even though it shocked her to admit it, on a rooftop garden fifty stories above the street. Once they caught their breath, they gathered everything up and took it back inside the apartment. Lilly still slept, so they showered together, went to bed and made love on and off for the rest of the night. She lay on her side wrapped in Justin’s arms, with his head resting between her breasts. Please God, let him feel more than pure craven lust for me. She ran her fingers through his hair, scrunching it between her fingers. He didn’t stir. She wanted to catch this moment, take it in a vice like grip and hold on to it forever.

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Chapter Twelve Weeks passed, and the passion Justin continued to arouse in her was astonishing. The sex was so vigorous and frequent it scared her because it couldn’t last. Even when Lilly went for a nap during the middle of the day and Justin came home, they ended up in bed together, or sharing the shower, or the spa bath. In her wildest dreams, Holly wouldn’t have believed it possible to find so many different ways and places to make love. She grew increasingly anxious about the future and more guilt riddled because of Robbie. No matter how hard she fought it, she fell more desperately in love with Justin as each day passed. How much longer before he got bored with her and started looking around for new conquests? He hadn’t cheated on her yet. She felt confident about that. He would have to be a super stud to accommodate another woman right now. One morning while they were eating breakfast, Holly watched as Justin nursed Lilly and fed her pieces of toast. “Why don’t we go out somewhere today? Holly suggested, trying not to make it sound like a command. “Why do we want to go out? We’ve got everything we want here.” He gave a lascivious grin. “Because you don’t take me anywhere.” “While I’m at work, you can go anywhere you like.” “To the fruit and vegetable market and that 142

Holly And The Millionaire horrible department store.” “Horrible department store? His eyebrows shot up. “That’s one of the most exclusive—” “I know,” she cut him off furiously. “I hate going there. They look at me as if I’ve just crawled out from under a rock.” “Which one of them does? I’ll have them fired.” “I don’t want anyone to lose his or her job because of me. I’d just like to go somewhere else.” “Bloody well go then. No one’s stopping you. Damn it, you can shop where you like.” He set Lilly’s feet on the floor, and she clung to his leg. “I don’t have any money left,” she whispered, wondering whether he deliberately tried to humiliate her. Did he want her to beg for funds? “You only had to say so. How much?” He pulled out his wallet. She wanted to scream out in frustration. “You don’t get it, do you? I want us to spend time together. Please, Justin.” “What the hell do you think we’ve been doing for the last few weeks?” he snarled. “Having sex,” she shot back. “And there’s something wrong with that?” He reached his hand across the table and cupped her chin. “I could have you purring like a pussy cat in a couple of minutes.” Arrogant beast. She swatted his hand away. “Why can’t we share something other than sex?” He dropped his hand and his lips thinned. “What’s with you? Ah.” He snapped his fingers. “It’s getting close to that time of the month.” “No,” she screamed. “It isn’t.” The color suddenly drained out of his face and he leapt to his feet. His arctic eyes were narrowed, gray as storm-tossed seas. “You said you were using contraception. I trusted you.” Oh God, he felt sick in the guts. She already had one baby and sure as hell wouldn’t want another one. 143

Margaret Tanner “I am using contraception.” “I’ve never seen you taking a pill.” He prowled the kitchen like a caged tiger. “I got an IUD fitted after I had Lilly if you must know all the gory details,” she shrilled. “I haven’t had a period because I’m breastfeeding.” “No need to yell like a fishwife. Come on, we’ll go and play ball in the garden.” He swung the baby up in his arms. “You selfish inconsiderate beast. I know why you don’t want to take me anywhere. You’re ashamed of me.” “No such thing.” “You make me feel so cheap sometimes,” she raged. She was good enough to share his bed but not glamorous enough to be seen in public with him. “What’s with you? If you want to call off our arrangement, feel free to do so.” Still holding Lilly, he stalked out of the room. He continually used emotional blackmail because he knew full well she couldn’t afford to leave him. What he didn’t know was that she didn’t want to leave him—now or ever. They hardly spoke all day. After his ball game with Lilly, he locked himself away in his study, only putting in an appearance to eat. Holly went to bed as soon as Lilly fell asleep. Justin could spend the whole night with his wretched computer for all she cared. She lay there staring into the darkness unable to sleep. Without the heat of his body infusing hers with warmth, the bed felt cold, overlarge and empty. How could she let him get her into such a state? He came to bed about midnight. He didn’t turn on the light, but she heard him stripping off his clothes. The sheet moved and the mattress sagged ever so slightly as he slid into bed and reached for her. 144

Holly And The Millionaire “I know you’re awake,” he purred, blowing in her ear. She tried to arch away from him, but it proved useless—the moment her flesh touched his, it ignited. **** “Wake up, sleepyhead.” Holly groaned and rolled onto her back as the cheerful voice intruded on her slumber. “I’ve made breakfast for you.” “What?” she asked groggily, blinking her eyes. A grinning Justin hovered over her. “Come on. Let’s have a romantic breakfast together before Lilly wakes up.” “You’ve never made me breakfast before. Why now?” “It’s my way of apologizing for my outburst yesterday. You were right. I haven’t taken you anywhere, but it’s not because I’m ashamed to be seen with you.” He stared straight into her face. “To be honest, I didn’t even think about it. I’m not used to looking after anyone else’s welfare. I did ask security to keep an eye out for anyone loitering or acting suspiciously around here when you moved in. I also instructed my lawyers to write to the Kirwans and tell them to call off their bloodhounds if they ever wanted to see Lilly again. After she wakes up, we’ll go somewhere today.” The fact that he cared enough to do these things warmed her heart, nurtured the tiny flame of hope that he thought of her as more than a mere sex object. “I’d like that. I’m sorry I screamed like a fishwife, but—” “Hey, come on,” he interrupted. “You should feel honored. I never cook breakfast.” He couldn’t remember ever having cooked breakfast in his whole adult life. He felt ashamed for attacking her, trying to 145

Margaret Tanner blame her for something that was his fault. He had never been careless about contraception before, but Holly rattled him so badly he didn’t know what he was doing half the time. The thought of having a kid scared the hell out of him. “Do I have time for a shower?” she asked. “If you’re quick. I’ve already had mine.” That was obvious. He looked clean-shaven. His hair was still damp. How could a man wearing jeans and a jumper look so good? No wonder she felt so inadequate all the time. He epitomized male perfection. Holly showered and threw on designer jeans and a pale blue top. She brushed her hair and left it hanging loose about her shoulders. The appetizing aromas emanating from the kitchen made her mouth water. It gave her hope that he did feel something more than sheer lust for her. Was she a fool or an optimist? He had indeed laid out a spread for them— sausages, eggs, bacon, tomatoes, and percolated coffee. “Ooh, this is a feast,” she exclaimed, sitting down and tucking in with gusto. “Not bad, is it?” His boyish grin made her heart turn a triple somersault. They ate in a companionable silence. When Justin started feeding her pieces of sausage from his fork and kissing her between mouthfuls, mere breakfast turned into something intimate. Heat sizzled along her veins. She gazed into his eyes—deep slumberous pools of gray, sexy come-to-bed eyes. They would end up there if Lilly didn’t waken. She put out her hand and ran her forefinger across his lips. He growled deep in his throat. “Mumma, Mumma,” Lilly called from her room. “Now, that’s what I call bad timing.” Justin 146

Holly And The Millionaire gave a rueful shake of his head before standing up. “I’ll get her. You finish your coffee.” Holly had just swallowed her last mouthful when he returned carrying Lilly. “Here she is. Talk about a party pooper.” He ruffled the baby’s hair before sitting her on Holly’s lap. “There, did you hear that, Lilly Pilly?” Holly gave her a cuddle. “Justin thinks you’re a party pooper.” “Juju, Juju.” She tried to reach up to him. “Not now, little missie. You hurry up and eat your breakfast. I want to go downstairs and see if I can buy a car seat for you so we can go for a drive.” “You don’t have to do this, Justin. We could go for a walk.” “No, we’ll drive out to the zoo. Kids like animals.” While he went off to see about the car seat, Holly fed and dressed Lilly. Car seats had a permanency about them, didn’t they? Well, long term at the very least, but Justin was hard to fathom. It was probably what made him such a successful businessman. Go with the flow, she urged herself. Don’t build up your hopes, and you won’t get disappointed On the other hand, maybe, just maybe he might be contemplating keeping them in his life. They were ready and waiting for Justin when he returned. “Ready, ladies?” He bowed from the waist. “Your carriage awaits you.” “You were able to get the baby seat?” she asked incredulously. “Yes, I even put it in the car,” he boasted. “I suppose we’ll need the pram?” “Unless you’re prepared to carry her around, we will.” “I don’t fancy lugging you around all day.” He 147

Margaret Tanner ruffled the baby’s hair. “You’re a ton weight.” Justin carried Lilly down to the car while Holly wheeled the stroller. He did everything with such an economy of movement he made it look easy. Lilly let Justin strap her into the car seat without a murmur of complaint She would have fought and struggled like a little wildcat if Holly had been doing it. It didn’t take long for them to arrive at the zoo. They parked outside in the shadow of one of the high, red brick walls. It had turned into a warm, pleasant end-of-summer day. They went to see the monkeys first. Justin picked Lilly up out of the stroller and took her over to the cage. She squealed with delight, immediately making a grab for the bars of the cage. “Hey, you can’t get in there,” he told her laughing. With his hair disheveled by Lilly’s fingers and the breeze, Holly suddenly shivered with trepidation and guilt. She loved him. Was it too soon after Robbie for her to have anything other than the most primitive of urges for Justin? “Maybe it’s the banana Lilly wants and not the monkey,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t detect the huskiness in her voice. He laughed. “Yeah, you could be right.” Holly felt so confused now. She wanted Justin to take them out somewhere. Now he had, and she felt guilty about enjoying the outing. Robbie wouldn’t condemn her for trying to find happiness again. She must believe that or go stark raving mad. He had been a generous, kindhearted person, and they had been happy together. Would this happiness have lasted if fate hadn’t stepped in and tragically ended it all? Their sex life had been satisfying rather than exciting. 148

Holly And The Millionaire I did love you, Robbie, she thought fiercely. I’ll always keep your memory in a special corner of my heart. Her feelings for Justin were different—the love of a woman for a man. With Robbie, it had been first love—poignant, desperately sweet and youthful but tragically blown away by the cruel winds of war, kept alive by memories anointed with the millions of tears she had shed. Justin was here and now, but all she could do was make the most of whatever he offered. She took several shuddering breaths, trying to get herself under control again. The snakes fascinated Justin but left her cold. “Ugh, you can watch the horrible, slimy things if you like but count me out.” “It’s the best part of the zoo. You like them, little missie, don’t you?” Lilly chuckled her approval as he held her up against the glass. “Look at the size of that one.” He admired an enormous python as it slithered by. “Justin, please.” Holly grabbed his arm. “I can’t stand them.” “Oh, all right.” He reluctantly moved away. “They’re behind glass. They can’t hurt you.” “I know, but I hate them. At the orphanage, some kid put one in my bed once.” She shuddered in remembrance. “I thought I was going to be bitten and die.” He picked up her hand and squeezed it. “You don’t have to be afraid ever again, Holly.” I wouldn’t be afraid of anything if I knew you’d always be around for me, she thought, clamping her teeth together so the desperate words wouldn’t spill out of her mouth. That was the problem—her terrible burden—not knowing whether he would be around or not. They went to see the butterflies next. The humidity hit them the moment they entered the enclosure. 149

Margaret Tanner “Now this I do like. Some of them are so colorful,” she exclaimed with pleasure. Justin held Lilly, but she kept reaching out trying to grab hold of the pretty things as they fluttered past. “No, you don’t. You’d squash them.” Laughter added an extra resonance to his voice. His eyes crinkled up with amusement. Justin was enjoying himself. With all his power and wealth, he had never stopped to smell the roses or enjoy the simple, natural beauty around him. He slipped his free arm through hers and whispered, “Where to now, my sweet little Holly?” His voice caressed her skin, feather light, but every nerve ending felt it. “A walk through the aviary would be nice.” “All right, then we’ll have lunch,” he decided. “I saw a sign earlier, pointing to the restaurant.” “Sounds good.” “Nothing there will taste as good as you.” He leaned across Lilly’s head and kissed her. “If we tire her out, she might sleep for the afternoon and...” He left the sentence hanging between them intimate, warm with promise, sexually charged. Her breathing constricted and the heat of desire surged from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. In the huge aviary, gaudy parrots flew overhead squawking to each other, and colorful finches sat on every branch. A cheeky, rainbow lorikeet flew down and sat on a boy’s head. Unfortunately, Lilly’s excited squeal frightened it away. Outside the aviary, Justin put Lilly in the stroller. “I don’t think my back could stand carrying her for much longer. She’s as heavy as lead.” “I know,” Holly conceded. “I don’t know how a little thing like you can 150

Holly And The Millionaire carry her at all.” “I’m awfully strong,” she flexed the muscles in her arm, “even if I don’t look it.” Justin felt a strange pain tugging at his heartstrings once again. Holly liked to think of herself as tough, but she wasn’t. She would always be vulnerable, as emotionally soft as marshmallow. She needed to be looked after, to be cosseted and cherished, and he feared he wasn’t capable of giving her what she needed so desperately. He was afraid he couldn’t give her what the laughing young soldier had—unconditional love in its purest, sweetest form. He felt her hand slipping into his and automatically squeezed her fingers. Did she have any inkling of his thoughts? He suddenly felt vulnerable because his emotions were affected. His feelings were raw for the first time in his life. It scared the hell out of him. That’s probably why he overreacted last night. It had hit a raw nerve and added a dangerous dimension to their arrangement. Lilly was an adorable little cherub. He didn’t dislike kids. They just didn’t fit into the life he had mapped out for himself. “Let’s get something to eat,” he said gruffly, trying to cover up his turmoil. He had initially believed Owen when he accused Holly of offering him sex. After getting to know her he wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t sure of anything when it came to Holly. If she ever found out what power she wielded over him… But she wouldn’t, not if he kept his wits about him and stuck to his original plan. Hot commitment-free sex. The restaurant overlooked a grassy lawn area surrounded by colorful flowerbeds. “This is beautiful, Justin. Thank you for bringing us here.” “My pleasure, I didn’t think I would enjoy it, but I have. It’s something different from my usual 151

Margaret Tanner pursuits.” “Yes, I’ll bet it is.” She smiled mischievously, as if she knew something he didn’t. “What would you like to eat?” “Fish and chips,” she answered so promptly he laughed. She was so childishly sweet sometimes, so uncomplicated and thoroughly decent. She belonged to an era when people were honest, kind and generous—not out for all they could get, he decided. Where the hell did that episode with Owen fit in? He ordered two serves of fish and chips and two coffees. By the time he got back to their table, Holly was feeding Lilly a jar of baby food. He hoped she wasn’t going to breastfeed her here as well. He’d come to look upon Holly’s breasts as his own exclusive property. He sure as hell didn’t want some other guy ogling them or, for that matter, any other part of her exquisite, creamy white body. “Here we are, hot fish and chips,” he said, trying to divert his thoughts from Holly’s body. “Thanks. They smell delicious,” she told him, shoveling the last spoonful of custard into Lilly’s hungry little mouth. “You know, I’ve forgotten how good the simple things in life can be,” Justin said, blowing on a chip to cool it down for Lilly. “We should do this more often.” “I’d like that.” She reached across the table and ran her fingers across his knuckles. “I’d like it a lot.” He glanced into her honest blue eyes. She turned her head away but wasn’t quick enough to hide her innermost thoughts. What he read in them shocked him to the core. His heart slammed against his rib cage. His emotions suddenly felt raw, vulnerable. Hell, things were moving too fast. Careering out of control. 152

Holly And The Millionaire He wanted to put the brakes on, stop this thing between them dead in its tracks, and he could only think of one way to do it. “When we’ve finished eating, we’ll go. I don’t want Lilly falling asleep until we get back to the apartment. I’m in the mood for a long session of hot sex.” He watched with a sudden sick feeling in his stomach as Holly recoiled in shock, her eyes widened with hurt, her pupils darkening to navy. Lips that were only seconds ago turned up and smiling now drooped and trembled. He wanted to take the ugly words back, but it was too late. The damage had been done. “Whatever you say.” Her voice sounded husky, bewildered and raw with hurt. Holly couldn’t believe what he had just done. Purposely, callously, he had ruined their outing. She felt as if she had just endured a vicious mugging. Pushing her unfinished food away, she stood up. If she never ate fish and chips again, it would be too soon. They would always remind her of today. Fool that she was to think there could ever be anything more between them than the shoddy deal they had stitched up together. Sex in exchange for a roof over her and Lilly’s head.

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Chapter Thirteen Holly thought she heard Justin’s mobile ring. She certainly heard him curse as he rolled away and picked it up off the bedside table. “What is it?” she asked sleepily. “They’ve hung up. Don’t worry, go back to sleep.” It was still dark. She felt, rather than saw him swing his legs out of bed and stand up. The phone rang again, and he snarled into it, “Devereux. What! Couldn’t it wait? It’s the middle of the bloody night.” He came back about five minutes later, carrying Lilly. “Sorry, I must have woken her up.” He handed her to Holly. “Some imbecile has stuffed up big time in Sydney. I have to get up there straight away.” “Oh?” She put Lilly to her breast. “Put the light on if you like. Do you need me to pack for you?” “No, thanks. I’ll just throw a few things in an overnight bag. I keep shirts and suits in my office up there.” “Don’t you have someone else who could go?” She didn’t want him to leave with bad feeling between them. What if something happened to him? “It’s important. I’ll have to fix this myself. Look, Holly…” He sat on the bed and rested his hand on Lilly’s head. “I’m sorry about what I said at the zoo. I can be an insensitive bastard.” “At least I know exactly where I stand now. 154

Holly And The Millionaire For a little while I forgot we had a business arrangement. Foolish of me, wasn’t it?” Gross stupidity if she were brutally honest. He winced at her bluntness. “We’ll talk about it when I get back. This break might be a good thing, give us a bit of breathing space to sort things out.” Holly’s heart overflowed with dread. Was this the chance he had been waiting for, she thought frantically? An excuse to get away from her? A polite letter in the mail maybe? Services no longer required? Worse still, I’ve found someone else? She didn’t want to leave him. She loved him, even if he didn’t love her in return. She hadn’t forgotten Robbie. His special corner of her heart would remain as long as she drew breath. What she felt for Justin was different. There was nothing sweet about it. It was an older, mature love. She had grown up a lot in the last few months, and of course, Lilly couldn’t remember her father. Justin was the only man in her life. Once he left, he mightn’t come back to her— like Robbie. Lilly had dropped off to sleep again. Holly eased the little button mouth away from her nipple. She climbed out of bed and hurried into the bathroom where Justin was having a shave, a towel draped around his hips. She came up behind him and slipped her arms round his waist. “Don’t leave us behind.” She rested her cheek against the still damp skin of his back. “We could come with you.” “I’ll only be gone for a week or so.” “We could have a holiday. Please.” The ugly words he had said at the zoo slipped to the back of her mind the moment he took her in his arms, but she knew they would rise up to plague her once he left. “I’ve never been to Sydney before.” “I’ll be too busy.” He turned her around and kissed her on the mouth, leaving flecks of shaving 155

Margaret Tanner cream on her lips. He wiped her face then his own on a towel and gave one of his cute grins. “You’d distract me too much.” She took hold of his arm. “Don’t go. I’ve got an awful feeling you mightn’t come back.” He laughed. “Don’t be so melodramatic. If you’re worried about other women, don’t be. I’ll be too busy. This is strictly a business trip.” He nibbled his lower lip. “Maybe I’ll take a couple of weeks off later on so the three of us can go to Fiji.” She had to be satisfied with his vague promise or risk having a full-blown argument with him. They had fought a lot in recent weeks. Her temper was volatile, his cold and cutting, but she couldn’t shake off the feeling of impending doom. It tied her stomach up in knots. After he left, Holly returned to bed and lay there cuddling Lilly. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why did she have to care so much for Justin? Holly must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew was Lilly climbing all over her. “Well, darling.” She kissed the baby’s plump cheeks. “We’ve got the place to ourselves for a week. What are we going to do with our spare time?” After they were both bathed and dressed, they went out into the kitchen for breakfast. On the bench near the refrigerator lay a pile of money and a note. In case you need cash while I’m away. Spend it anyway you choose, Justin. No words of love. She never expected any, but some regret, reluctance even, because he was going away. Was that too much to ask? When Holly counted the money, it added up to five hundred dollars. “Come on, Lilly Pilly,” Holly scooped her up off 156

Holly And The Millionaire the floor. “We’ll go for a walk in the park to fill in time.” “Juju.” The baby looked around for the man who had become a major focus in her young life. On one hand, it pleased her because Lilly loved him. On the other hand... If, no, when Justin banished them from his life, she would be distraught. “I know you want him to be here with us. So do I, but Justin will do exactly what he pleases.” A commitment-shy man like him couldn’t offer them a long-term future. Couldn’t he see there was more to life than merely make money? He had more money than a single man could go through in a whole lifetime, no matter how extravagantly he spent yet he seemed driven to increase his wealth. Maybe it became an obsession for men who weren’t born into wealth, to those who clawed their way up from humble beginnings. **** Holly lay in bed reading a book. It was ten o’clock, but she knew she wouldn’t sleep for hours. When the phone rang, she pounced on it straight away. “Hello.” “Holly, it’s Justin.” Just hearing his voice turned her insides mushy. “How are you?” she asked but didn’t let him answer. “It’s so good to hear your voice. I can’t sleep when you’re not lying next to me,” she gabbled, knowing she should stop but somehow unable to. “Are you very busy? When will you be back?” “Hey, hey, steady on.” Laughter filled his voice, and he sounded so clear he could have been in the next room. “How’s Lilly?” “Good, missing you.” “Are you in bed?” he asked in a low, sexy voice. “Yes, but I can’t sleep.” “Me either,” he growled in his throat. “I want 157

Margaret Tanner to make love to you.” Her heart leapt. He did miss her. “Well, come home then.” “I wish I could. What are you wearing?” “The black nightie, I—” “With the split up the side?” “Yes.” Heated excitement skidded along her veins. “You’re not doing what I think you’re doing…” He gave a low feral growl. “What do you think I’m doing?” “M-making love to me over the phone.” She couldn’t believe the effect such a thought had. She was shocked, but felt fabulous, out of this world. Her hand trembled so much she nearly dropped the phone. “Close your eyes,” he instructed in a low sexy voice. “Push your nightie up over your hips…slowly, and put the phone down.” With trembling hands, she laid the phone on the bed. Grasping the silky material between her fingertips, she raised her hips and pushed the garment up to her waist before stretching out flat on her back. She picked up the phone. “What next?” she whispered. “Keep your eyes shut and think of your favorite flower.” His soft purr slid over her like warm, sweetly perfumed rose oil. She could almost feel Justin’s hands on her body—strong, sure, sensuous. Heat built up in her sex, making it tender and sensitive. “Are you hot?” “Yes. Are you?” One part of her wanted the tautened agony to end. The other part wanted it to go on forever. There was silence for a moment. Was he doing what she thought he might be doing? It raised the sexual tension between them and built up the need 158

Holly And The Millionaire until it became a flaming pyre. “Draw your knees up.” She did so. “Let them fall open. No, wider. Oh God,” she heard him groan and tried to visualize what he might be doing right now. Was he lying naked like her on silky sheets, flat on his back, trembling with need, massaging his arousal? Just the thought, let alone the pictures building up in her mind almost made her climax. “Not yet, it’s too soon.” The relentless, sexy voice continued. “Take your forefinger and touch it to the tip of your tongue. Is it wet?” “Yes.” “Good.” She could have sworn she heard the rustle of silken sheets, almost felt the heat of Justin’s body, the power of his manhood, the way the hairs on his legs tickled as they rasped against her skin. “Put it on that divine, rosy bud of yours and start massaging it gently, slowly building up the speed. Are you doing it?” “Yes. Oh, Justin.” “Faster, harder.” She obeyed the sexy command. It felt so good. “Hold the phone close to you,” he growled. “I want to hear you when you come. Imagine it’s me. Oh God, Holly, this is killing me.” “What are you going to do?” “If all else fails, take a freezing cold shower.” She moved her finger faster and faster, building up the tension. Her whole lower body started to convulse as the deepest, most intimate parts of her anatomy ignited. “Justin,” she cried out his name as she climaxed. The cooling gush put out the flames, and she floated on a sensuous cloud of euphoria. “How do you feel?” “Wonderful,” she sighed. 159

Margaret Tanner “Will you be able to sleep now?” “Oh, yes.” “Lucky you.” He gave a rueful chuckle. “Sleep tight, Holly.” He hung up the phone. He couldn’t believe the way he felt, breathless, trembling. Agony and ecstasy all rolled into one. He started working to slake his physical desire, as for his tumultuous emotions… Why the hell didn’t he tell her about Owen being suspended from the hospital pending an enquiry over sexual misconduct? It was the reason he’d rung her, not to have phone sex, enjoyable though it was. That sleazy little bastard had lied about Holly. Fired her because she rejected his advances. And you’re as bad, he thought with distaste. He had wanted to salve his conscience for blackmailing her into his bed by deliberately refusing to believe she hadn’t offered Owen sex for money. Deep down he knew she wasn’t capable of doing such a thing. Oh God, he wanted her so bad it was killing him. The urgent call to Sydney was like manna from heaven. He needed time away from her to get his emotions under control. To work out exactly how he felt about her without the sex. What a load of crap. He didn’t have the guts to admit his true feelings even to himself. He was terrified of making a mistake. Every time he thought of poor Brad, driven to suicide by a vicious greedy wife, he broke out in a cold sweat. **** Holly couldn’t believe what had just happened, couldn’t believe how good she felt. The only way Justin could improve on his technique would be to join her in bed right now. Next morning at about ten o’clock, the door buzzer went off. She lifted Lilly out of the high chair and went to see who was there. “Holly Kirwan?” asked a young flower delivery 160

Holly And The Millionaire boy almost hidden behind a huge arrangement of red roses. “Yes.” “These are for you.” “Oh, thank you.” She took them and buried her face in the sweet smelling blooms. “They’re gorgeous.” She put the roses on the kitchen bench. They were in their own container, so she didn’t even have to find a vase. She took off the small card attached to the side of the box. Just so you’ll know I am thinking of you. Justin No words of love, but going to this trouble must mean he felt something special for her. **** A week passed. There was no further word from Justin except a message from his PA saying he was too tied up with important negotiations to call. Holly wanted to hate him for the stress he caused. She didn’t sleep well. How she missed his warm, strong body next to hers in bed—the fiery passion they shared every night, most mornings and during the day when Lilly went down for an afternoon nap on the weekends. One night, she felt so lonely, so desperate to hear his voice she rang him on his mobile. “Justin Devereux speaking.” Hearing his deep sexy voice gave her goose bumps. “It’s me.” “What’s wrong?” “Nothing. I got the message from your secretary, but I wanted to hear your voice. Lilly and I have missed you.” She brushed the tears away, willing herself not to start blubbering in his ear. “I can’t talk now. I’m sorry.” “It’s eight o’clock at night.” She could hear noises in the background but couldn’t distinguish 161

Margaret Tanner what they were. “I thought you’d be finished work by now.” “I’m not,” he sounded tired. “I’m working fourteen-hour days. I’m not on holiday.” “I didn’t mean to bother you,” she said, feeling contrite. “I got lonely. I just wanted to know how you were getting on and I thought I saw...” “Look, I’m inundated with problems. Things are an absolute mess. I’ll be here another couple of weeks at least.” “And you weren’t going to tell me?” she shot back. “Calm down. I would have given you a ring in a day or so once I knew what was happening. Lilly all right?” “Yes, but when I was at the market the other day, I think I saw the English PI man following me.” “Imagination. You’ve got nothing to worry about. John in security says there hasn’t been anyone suspicious lurking around or asking questions about you. I’m certain you won’t have any more problems with the Kirwans now my lawyers have given them an ultimatum.” “Are you sure? I get scared every time I think about them.” “Of course I am. I wouldn’t leave you and Lilly in danger.” “Thank you. It’s like having a ton weight lifted off my shoulders not having to worry about them all the time. I miss you.” “Same here. Take care, Holly.” The line went dead. What was wrong with her? Seesawing emotions, crying at the drop of a hat, thinking people were following her. She had nervous butterflies in her stomach most of the time now. Maybe she should see a doctor and have a thorough checkup. Her hormones were probably rampaging 162

Holly And The Millionaire out of control. She still hadn’t got a period even though Lilly only had intermittent feeds now.

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Chapter Fourteen Two weeks after her phone call to Justin, he rang up. It was ten o’clock at night as she lay in bed trying to read a book. “Oh, Justin, how are you?” Her heart started racing like it always did on hearing his voice. “I’m exhausted. Sorry I didn’t ring you before, but it’s been frantic up here. I’ve been trying to get everything fixed up so I could get back to you. I’ll be home tomorrow about seven.” “That’s wonderful. I’ll cook you a special dinner. What would you like?” “Surprise me, but I’ll be wanting an early night.” His low, deep growl did funny things to her insides. Liquid fire skidded along her veins forcing a sudden surge of moist heat between her thighs. “You won’t be disappointed,” she promised in a deliberately husky, sensual voice. “I’m sure I won’t be. How’s Lilly?” “She’s good, misses you like I do.” In his wildest dreams, he couldn’t know how much they missed him, how the days dragged and the nights felt cold and empty. “I have to go now. See you tomorrow.” The line went dead. One thing about Justin—he didn’t waste words or linger over saying goodbye. Something special: traditional roast beef with all the trimmings and sticky date pudding for dessert. With a surge of excitement, she recalled the special treat she had prepared for him at their rooftop barbeque. The autumn evenings were too chilly for that now. No, she would have to come up 164

Holly And The Millionaire with some special indoor activity. **** After breakfast the next morning, they took the elevator down to the ground floor. She stopped to have a chat with John at the security desk. “How are you, Holly? You’re looking cheerful. Won the lottery?” “No, better.” She gave an excited little skip. “Justin’s coming home tonight.” He grinned. “No wonder you’re happy.” There wasn’t time to go out for the supplies she wanted. Everything had to be prepared for their meal and the apartment cleaned from top to bottom to meet Justin’s exacting standards. For Justin, she could tolerate the patronizing attitudes of the older staff in the department store and ignore the jealous hostility of a couple of little hotties who had designs on him. This would be the welcome home to end all welcome homes. She wanted to show him how good family life could be. He would never offer marriage; she’d resigned herself to that. A permanent commitment would be the best she could expect, but she would happily accept it. He was capable of caring, if he would only tear down the barricades he had erected around his heart. He didn’t want commitment because he feared getting hurt—like she did. Where they differed was that she was prepared to take a risk to find happiness again, and he wasn’t. I’ll change that, she vowed fiercely. Once you come back and see what Lilly and I have to offer, you’ll realize we all need each other. Fired with the knowledge she would make this homecoming unforgettable, Holly let her heart rule her head. She bought several colorful helium-filled balloons with the words Welcome Home painted on them along with a decadent, cream-filled, chocolate cake decorated with fudge icing and whole 165

Margaret Tanner strawberries. She also picked up a bottle of imported French champagne to go with their special treat after Lilly went to bed. The cozy little alcove leading onto the balcony would be perfect for her plans. They could take the quilt and pillows off the spare bed for their little love nest. Her skin tingled. The butterflies in her stomach turned cartwheels. In about eight hours, Justin would be home. She filled the stroller with her purchases and Lilly toddled along beside it. Her baby legs grew stronger every day. She had gained a couple of inches in height since they’d moved in with Justin. Her hair, still snowy white, had grown thicker and was starting to curl now. Holly went through the apartment like a tornado, cleaning everything. When Lilly went down for a nap, she prepared the love nest. She had bought a small coffee table at a secondhand shop a couple of days after Justin left for Sydney. Covering it with a white cloth, she laid out red serviettes and silver dessertspoons. She let the balloons loose, and they drifted to the ceiling, hanging there like kites with long trailing multicolored ribbons. Making sure she fastened the door, she started on the dinner preparations. Her excitement escalated. She was behaving like a child awaiting a long-promised treat, but she couldn’t help it. Justin would be here soon. She suddenly thought of the young soldier lying in his cold English grave, and goose bumps broke out on her arms. “I have to go on living, Robbie,” she whispered in anguish. “Justin is fond of Lilly. He can make both of us happy. I promise. I swear on the love we shared, your baby will never forget you. She’ll grow up knowing what a gallant soldier you were and how much you loved both of us. 166

Holly And The Millionaire Tears filled her eyes and she blinked them back. “Apart from you, Justin is the only man I could ever love. This is my one chance to find happiness again. I know you haven’t been dead long. I should wait what your mother would call a decent interval, but if I don’t grasp this chance now, it will slip through my fingers, and I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.” She was wracked with guilt and self-doubt, punishing herself for something beyond her control. A sudden shaft of sunlight fell onto her face through the kitchen window, bringing warmth back into her cold cheeks. By eight o’clock, Justin still hadn’t arrived. Holly rang the airport to check for any flight delays. There were none. Nine o’clock and still no word. The lovingly prepared meal was ruined. She scraped the food into the rubbish disposal unit and cleaned up the kitchen, her worry soon giving way to anger. Grabbing the phone, she dialed his mobile. It rang and rang, something unusual in itself. He always answered straight away. “Devereux,” he barked into his phone. “Where are you?” She could hear music in the background. “I’m still in Sydney. I’ve been delayed.” “Really? And you couldn’t let me know?” Icy fury froze her previous anxiety into a block of ice. She sank to her knees and knelt on the floor. Her hand wobbled so much she clutched the phone tightly to keep hold of it. “Sorry, I haven’t had a minute to spare. I didn’t realize it was so late.” He didn’t have any true regrets, she realized with a bitter shaft of pain. He didn’t care enough to be sorry. She knew for certain now they had no future together. Justin only wanted her for sex, and by his code, she had been well compensated. He owed her 167

Margaret Tanner nothing—not even respect. Holly went to bed simply because there was nothing else to do. Her emotions were frozen solid with grief and pain. **** Holly decided the next morning on the spur of the moment to see Dr. Grogan the lady doctor who had looked after her so well when she was pregnant with Lilly. She had been feeling depressed and sickly on and off over the last few weeks but had ignored it. With Justin’s continued absence, her symptoms seemed to be getting worse. She probably needed a course of Vitamin pills. The doctor could check up on Lilly’s immunization program at the same time. They caught the train to the doctor’s surgery in Flemington, not far from old Mrs. Harris’s house. “Good morning, Holly,” Dr. Grogan greeted her with a smile. “Nice to see you again. Mrs. Harris told me you were back from England. Sorry to hear about your husband.” “Thank you.” “Ah, so this is Lilly. She’s grown since I last saw her.” “I came about Lilly’s immunization. I think she’s due for another injection.” She handed over the immunization card from England. Dr. Grogan perused the records. “No, she’s not due for another six weeks. What about you, dear? You’re looking rather drawn and washed out.” “I have been feeling out of sorts lately. I’m still breastfeeding Lilly a couple of times a day. I thought I might have got a period by now, but I haven’t.” “Hop up on the examination couch. I’ll have a feel around to see what’s what. Have you heard from Mrs. Harris since she moved?” “Yes, I wrote to her when I shifted to give her my new address. She sent me back a postcard. She 168

Holly And The Millionaire loves it in Queensland. Said she should have shifted up there years ago.” “Good, I’m glad everything has worked out well for. She nursed her husband for many years before he died. She had quite a hard time of it.” Dr. Grogan took Holly’s blood pressure then felt her stomach. “Your blood pressure is normal. No chance you could be pregnant?” “Pregnant?” Holly’s blood ran cold. “I have been in, um, a relationship, but I got an IUD fitted in England.” Oh, God, please not this, not after everything else. “They have been known to fall out.” Holly lay on her back and drew up her knees, ready for the internal examination. She heard the snap of the doctor’s surgical gloves above the frantic pounding of her own heart. “Well, my dear, I’d say you are at least four months pregnant,” she said after a thorough examination. A roaring sound almost fractured Holly’s eardrums. She hadn’t heard right. Of course she hadn’t. She took several shuddering breaths. Dr. Grogan had made a terrible mistake. “I’ll send you for an ultrasound to check your due date.” “Y-you couldn’t be wrong?” Holly stuttered. “I mean, it couldn’t be anything else?” “No, given the clinical picture and my examination, I’m 99.9% sure you’re pregnant.” “Oh, my God.” Holly shoved her fist into her mouth to stop from screaming. “What about the father?” “Justin will be furious...” A baby wasn’t part of their deal. Four months pregnant. She must have conceived almost immediately. “I’m afraid he’ll just have to grin and bear it. Responsible men accept these things after the initial shock wears off. Makes doting fathers of 169

Margaret Tanner most of them.” Not Justin, Holly thought with despair. He would believe she did it on purpose to trap him into something permanent or to bleed money out of him. She wondered how she could speak without screaming. “Will you deliver the baby for me?” “Sorry, I’m not doing obstetrics any more. The litigation risk is too high for GPs like me. I’ll refer you to a good maternity hospital.” “Thanks.” Holly forced herself to speak calmly. In reality, she wanted to throw herself down on the floor to scream and kick like some tantrumthrowing two-year-old, but she didn’t have the luxury. Would never have a luxury of any kind now with two babies to bring up on her own. She trembled with the effort to keep her emotions under control until she left the surgery. Even then, she could only slump against the stroller and take in deep shuddering breaths. If there had been something suitable nearby, she would have kicked it—kicked it until she had no strength left, or the bones in her foot snapped. She ran on automatic pilot now. Get back to the apartment. Have a lie down. Gather your wits. Just put one foot after the other. It’s easy, like soldiers on a route march. Left, right, left. By some miracle, she managed to get back to the apartment without falling apart. She all but staggered into the elevator, and it whizzed up to the fiftieth floor with such speed, she left her stomach down in the foyer. The moment she entered the apartment and the door clicked shut, she sprinted to the bathroom and emptied her stomach in the toilet bowl. She dragged a trembling hand across her forehead. No surprise. It was drenched with perspiration. She lifted Lilly out of the stroller, changed her nappy, crawled into bed and gave the baby her 170

Holly And The Millionaire breast. “Go to sleep darling, please. I need time to think about what’s best for us.” Holly lay staring at the ceiling. Except for Robbie’s death, this would have to be her darkest hour. The instinct for survival suddenly kicked in, and her brain started functioning, taking control of her shattered emotions. Tomorrow, if they could find accommodation, they would leave this apartment never to return. Justin wouldn’t help her voluntarily. If she took him to court and sued for child maintenance, she could risk losing Lilly if he turned nasty and joined forces with the Kirwans. He would be a ruthless enemy. No use deluding herself on that point. He hadn’t got to be a multi-millionaire by being Mr. Nice Guy. Her finances weren’t in such a perilous state any more. She hadn’t withdrawn any money out of the bank since moving in with Justin, so the pension money would have built up over the past few months. A place to live would be their main priority. Could they return to the bungalow? No point ringing the real estate agent now. She couldn’t speak without crying, and she didn’t want to sound like some desperate neurotic. One more day wouldn’t make much difference. Having made a positive decision, something she wouldn’t have been capable of doing a few weeks ago, she felt composed. Liar. Numb, dead, and emotionally frozen were more accurate descriptions. Common sense should have warned her about hoping for a future with Justin. Millionaires didn’t take up with poor young widows and a dependant child. Oh, Holly Kirwan was good enough for a few months of free sex...well, not quite free, but the costs were minimal for a man as wealthy as him. A mercenary woman would have bled him for gold or 171

Margaret Tanner diamonds. It was pointless to delude herself. If Justin found out about this baby, she would be given her marching orders quick smart. Better to leave now and avoid a nasty confrontation.

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Chapter Fifteen Holly woke up the next morning feeling like death, but she somehow managed to bathe, dress and feed herself and Lilly. The human spirit must be a wondrous thing, she thought, drumming her fingers on the kitchen table while she waited for nine o’clock to arrive. “Please, God, let the bungalow still be available.” She sent up a desperate prayer. “You’ve taken everything else of value away from me except Lilly.” Keep calm, she told herself as she dialed the number with trembling fingers. After she got through to the real estate people, she almost fainted with relief. The bungalow was still vacant. “My wife and I bought the place,” the real estate man explained. “We’d be happy to rent you the bungalow for a few months on the same conditions as before. We’re thinking of demolishing the house and building a new one. It’s a heritage listed street so we’ve been caught up in a mountain of paperwork. You can move back straight away if you like.” “Thanks, I will.” She might be down but she wasn’t out. Holly retrieved Lilly’s pink bag from the closet. She should call it Old Faithful because it never let her down, not like Justin. It had traveled out from England with them and hit Justin on the head. Pity it hadn’t knocked him unconscious, then she might never have gotten mixed up with him. She wouldn’t be in this diabolical situation. 173

Margaret Tanner After she stuffed Lilly’s things into the bag, she found a couple of plastic shopping bags and filled them up with the clothes she had brought to the apartment. He wouldn’t be coming after her. He wanted her out of his life…full stop...amen. No ifs or buts. Au revoir. On your bike, lady. Good riddance and don’t come back. She got the message—loud and clear. The phone rang and she dived on it. “Holly Kirwan speaking.” “I’m Renae, Justin Devereux’s personal assistant in Sydney. Mr. Devereux wanted me to let you know he’s been called overseas. He’ll contact you as soon as he can.” “Thank you for letting me know.” Slowly, with infinite care, Holly hung up. The quicker she got away from this apartment and Justin’s influence—the better. A quick break was best. No point in prolonging the agony. She wrote a quick note. Justin, I’ve decided to move out. I’m flying to Queensland to stay with Mrs. Harris. Holly She rang for a taxi, packed up the stroller and took Lilly by the hand to catch the elevator down to the ground floor. She took a couple of deep shuddering breaths to steady her nerves, before going over to the security guard. John was a nice man, ex-army, and she didn’t want him to worry about her. “Goodbye, John. I’m shifting to Queensland to say with friends. Thanks for being so kind to me and Lilly.” “There’s no need for you to leave. You’re quite safe now…” “I’m not leaving because of that.” She cut him off. “Why don’t you wait until Mr. Devereux gets 174

Holly And The Millionaire back?” “No, it’s easier if I go now.” She turned and walked away so he wouldn’t see the tears shimmering in her eyes. The wheels of Lilly’s stroller squeaked loudly, as if screaming in protest, as she left the building. Less than two hours later, Holly had picked up the key from the real estate office and was sitting down at her old table sipping a cup of tea. No one had been in the place. It was just the same as she had left it, down to the long-life milk, tins of baked beans and Lilly’s baby food that she had left behind in her frantic dash for freedom. She wouldn’t need to go shopping for a few days unless she wanted bread, and the way she felt right now, she wouldn’t care if she never ate again. **** Justin arrived back at the apartment via his private entrance so he wouldn’t be delayed by anyone down in the foyer. He desperately wanted to see Holly and Lilly. Five weeks, and he couldn’t believe how much he had missed Holly’s soft warmth and Lilly’s sweet baby perfume and cute ways. He had rushed straight from the airport after flying in from Turkey. He wearily ran his hand across the stubble on his chin. A shower and a shave were a necessity before taking Holly to bed and making wild passionate love to her. His groin tightened in anticipation. He had bought Lilly some new toys so she could sit in the cot and play with them while he assuaged the sexual hunger built up over weeks of abstinence. No doubt Holly would be upset because he hadn’t called her from overseas, but he had been visiting some isolated places with poor mobile phone reception. Combined with the time lag and his tight schedule, it proved too much of a hassle after his few attempts to call her failed. He was a 175

Margaret Tanner selfish bastard. He could have asked his PA to ring her now and again, but once he got involved with an interesting, challenging project he forgot everything else. Hell, it wasn’t as if he was on holiday. A five-star European-style resort overlooking the Aegean Sea would be a winner, he thought with satisfaction. A tropical island holiday at a child-friendly resort, like all women, Holly wouldn’t be able to resist such a bribe. He’d offer to buy the whole island if that’s what it took to get back in her good books. He swiped his security card and entered the apartment. A stony silence bore down on him. He shivered. The place felt cold, as if all the warmth had been sucked out of it. Fear clenched his gut. “Holly.” He dumped his bag on the floor and raced into the bedroom. It was empty, the bed made up, nothing left lying around. His heart dropped to his boots with a thickening thud. She was gone. Instinctively, he knew this even before he rummaged through the wardrobe and noticed Lilly’s pink bag missing. It didn’t stop him from dashing into the child’s room. The toys were all in the cot, except for a handful, including her Winnie the Pooh bear. Why the hell had they left? He cursed under his breath. He should have made more of an effort to ring, but he had been petrified of getting in too deep with her. Had wanted a cooling off period to think things through. The joke was on him though. He was in so deep he couldn’t climb out. Didn’t want to climb out. In the kitchen, he noticed the floral motifs had been removed from the refrigerator. The colorful leadlight mobiles dangling from the ceiling were gone as well. No flowers. Nothing to show Holly had ever stayed here. He snatched up the note lying on the bench. 176

Holly And The Millionaire When he read the brief words, he felt like someone had stabbed him through the heart. Had she found someone else? He staggered over to a chair and slumped in it. Who the hell would she have cottoned on to? When? How? No wonder Brad had been gutted when his wife betrayed and bankrupted him. He knew how his friend felt now. Not that he was suicidal; no woman would drive him to take such a drastic step. At least Holly didn’t try to bleed him for every cent he had. He rolled the note up in a ball and hurled it at the kitchen window. Bloody hell. Justin alighted from the lift and strode toward the security counter. “John, do you know where Holly went?” What if she had met with an accident? His stomach churned just thinking about it. “Not really. Said she was going to stay with a friend in Queensland. I watched her get into a taxi and haven’t seen her since.” “Thanks, that’s all I wanted to know.” Thank God, they were somewhere safe. Mrs. Harris was a kind old lady with a soft spot for Holly and Lilly. She would make sure they came to no harm. When he walked through the door of his apartment, the coldness assailed him once more. Not a physical coldness, the central heating saw to that. It was a bleak emptiness that seeped into his bones, making him shiver. Loosening his tie, he undid the top two buttons on his shirt. Bloody women, they gave a man nothing but trouble and heartache. Something drew him toward the alcove leading out to the balcony. Holly always said she liked this place best out of the whole apartment. He couldn’t understand why such a cramped little cubbyhole would appeal to anyone. 177

Margaret Tanner He pushed the door open and stopped dead. The breath jammed in his throat. A small table had been set up for two people and several colorful balloons hung from the ceiling with Welcome Home written across them. His heart ached. It was a pain like nothing he had ever endured before. It was excruciating, so deep he felt as if it had somehow touched his soul. When Holly mentioned preparing a special meal, he had brushed off her efforts with some caustic rebuke. He didn’t doubt his ability to track her down if he put his mind and resources to it, but he wasn’t going to. He was a bastard, not worthy of her. She and Lilly deserved more than what he could offer them. He was overwhelmed with remorse for the way he had acted, deliberately making her feel as if she was prostituting herself. It had been a defense mechanism. His inflated ego had been fed by his rampaging libido. Why had he been too blind to realize he loved her? How or when it happened he didn’t have a clue, but he had fallen in love with Holly. Lilly too, for that matter. How had he let something so precious slip out of his grasp? There would never be another Holly. His little waif was one of a kind—a gutsy little battler who decided to make a life for herself and Lilly without his help. He loved her too much to interfere with her plans or to put obstacles in her way. He had his chance and blew it. The kindest thing he could do for Holly and Lilly was let them stay with Mrs. Harris and start a new life in Queensland. He wanted to weep for what he had lost, but he didn’t know how. The years stretched out in front of him now, lonely and bleak.

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Chapter Sixteen Two days after giving birth to Robert Justin Kirwan, Holly returned to their bungalow. Fortunately, as a precautionary measure, she had stockpiled food, long-life milk and disposable nappies in the weeks before the birth. Organization—that was the key. Thank goodness she had plenty of experience with breastfeeding and Robert suckled well. Lilly became sooky and clinging, demanding Holly’s attention all the time. “Mummy isn’t going to leave you again, darling,” she reassured wearily as she fed the baby while Lilly kept trying to push him out of the way. “Don’t hit bubby’s head. You might hurt him.” Holly felt tired and weak. If only she could have stayed in the hospital for a couple of extra days until she regained her strength. Her breasts felt sore, her stomach ached and she could barely keep her eyes open as she finished feeding Robert and changed his nappy. “Come on, Lilly Pilly, I’ll change your little stinky bum too, then we’ll have a lie down together.” The baby fell asleep as soon as she tucked him up in his crib. Even though she took Lilly into bed with her for a cuddle, her daughter wriggled and squirmed to such an extent Holly finally let her go. She couldn’t risk getting a kick in the stomach, so she rested in bed while Lilly set about demolishing the place. She made sure the baby stayed safe by putting 179

Margaret Tanner his crib on top of a set of high, old-fashioned drawers, well out of Lilly’s reach. Everything in the kitchen and laundry that might endanger a toddler was locked away in a wardrobe—just in case she drifted off to sleep. It was hard trying to stay awake. Her eyes were heavy and she felt ill, so she tried to read a book. The print kept blurring to such an extent she couldn’t decipher the words, but it stopped her from falling asleep and kept her aware enough to watch Lilly. After a couple of hours Lilly climbed into bed with her, and they both slept. Robert’s crying woke her. The sleep hadn’t helped much. She felt worse, if that were possible. Her heart pounded, and she took several steadying breaths trying to fight off a panic attack. She couldn’t cope on her own. She was crazy to have thought she could—but she must. Her babies’ welfare depended on it. Dredging strength from God alone knew where, she staggered out of bed and went over to the set of drawers. She expended a lot of energy reaching up to lift the baby out of his crib. “It’s all right, darling, don’t fret. Mummy’s here.” She patted his soft dark hair. His little face was red and screwed up from screaming. How long had he been crying? Her eyes filled with tears as she fed him. He suckled hungrily. The bedroom was a mess. Lilly had emptied several drawers, and clothes were strewn all over the floor. It was cold because she had been too frightened to light the gas fire in case she fell asleep and Lilly burned herself on it. Their position had become diabolical now, but tomorrow would be better. She would feel stronger by then, more able to cope. Listlessly, she made herself a cup of tea and heated up a can of baked beans. She didn’t want to 180

Holly And The Millionaire eat. If she never tasted food again, it would be too soon, but she forced herself to swallow. She needed to regain her strength or they wouldn’t survive. How terrible to be so alone. She almost dialed the emergency number to ask for an ambulance, but she wasn’t sick, just frightened and verging on hysteria because she couldn’t cope on her own. The welfare people would come and take Lilly and Robert away, palm them off to some foster home. Remember this, Holly Kirwan, when you feel tempted to weaken. Even worse, the Kirwans might try to get Lilly again. They wouldn’t want Robert, the same as they didn’t want her. She couldn’t let it happen, mustn’t let it happen. Robert woke crying for a morning feed. Such a cute little man, so tiny innocent and sweet. She loved the feel of him suckling, reveled in his contented little snuffles. After changing his nappy, she laid him in the crib and went to take a shower. She wanted to wash her hair. It looked like scraggly rats tails and felt even worse. There wasn’t much time. Once Lilly awoke she would demand breakfast. Holly felt better after showering. She rugged herself up in a pair of fleecy track pants and windcheater top. It was freezing. The rain hammered against the windows. Cold and miserable. Just the way I feel, she thought, going over to the gas fire. It wouldn’t light. She tried several times but to no avail. She realized the pilot light had gone out. It was an old fire, ancient like the bungalow and everything in it. Try as she might she couldn’t turn it on. Now what? The rain grew heavier, pelting against the windows as the wind lifted. She prepared some cereal for breakfast. The sound of Lilly’s voice calling out interrupted her somber thoughts. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. At least you have a roof over your head, food to eat and warm clothing. 181

Margaret Tanner “Hello, Lilly Pilly.” Holly went into the bedroom to find her daughter jumping up and down on the bed. “Hey, you little monkey, don’t wreck the mattress. We have to sleep on it. Your cereal is ready.” They shared breakfast. Lilly was a messy eater, but she wanted to feed herself, and Holly didn’t have the energy to argue with her. It was pathetic being so alone and unloved. Don’t fret about the mess she told herself. It will still be there tomorrow or the next day, or whatever day she felt strong enough to clean it up. Looking after Lilly and the baby were her main priorities. Anything else would have to wait. She couldn’t remember feeling so weak or lethargic after Lilly’s birth, but Robbie had been there for support. She felt her chest grow tight, her breathing more rapid. “Don’t go to pieces, woman, don’t go to pieces.” She repeated the words a couple of times. After changing Lilly’s nappy, she dressed her in pink stockings, overalls and a jumper with a cardigan on top. A terrible draft gusted in from under the outside door. She could feel it freezing her legs so she stuffed a couple of towels under the gap. What a bleak day. A glance out the kitchen window confirmed her most pessimistic view. It was going to be an absolute shocker. For once, she was glad the place only had a tiny kitchen, lounge room, bedroom and small bathroom and laundry combined. She played with Lilly for a while, every now and again checking to see if the pilot light had miraculously turned itself on again. No such luck. The temptation to call the real estate man and ask him to fix the heater was great, but she paid a pittance in rent. If she caused him any hassles he might ask her to leave. She had no lease, nothing in writing. Her head ached and she started 182

Holly And The Millionaire trembling with the cold. Desperation finally had her dialing the real estate agent’s number. She would have to take the risk and throw herself on his mercy. The phone rang and rang, but no one answered. She dialed a second time and still no one answered. Now what? Her throat started getting scratchy. Surely she wasn’t getting a cold. That would be the absolute end. After checking to make sure Lilly couldn’t get into anything dangerous, she crawled back into bed and pulled the covers over herself. She lay there shivering. That’s how she spent the day, feeding Robert or Lilly, changing them and dozing. Sometimes Lilly lay down with her and slept, most times she didn’t. She started to get cramping pains in her stomach and her head ached, but she dared not take any painkillers in case it affected the breast milk. Lilly pulled out all the saucepans and started crashing them together. The noise grew louder, intensifying the pain in her head until it became unbearable. “Stop it!” she yelled. The racket increased. Something snapped inside her. She couldn’t stand it a moment longer without going mad. Staggering out into the kitchen, she stopped dead in her tracks. Lilly had just about emptied every cupboard. The flour and sugar canisters lay open on the floor, their contents spilling out, while Lilly hammered a packet of biscuits into the floor with the frying pan. “You naughty girl.” Holly slapped her on the hand, and Lilly started screaming. It was hard to know which of them got the biggest shock. She had never hit the toddler before. “I’m losing it, I’m losing it,” she wailed, bending down to pick up Lilly. “I’m sorry, baby. Mummy didn’t mean to hit you.” She stood up and 183

Margaret Tanner slipped on the flour, landing flat on her back with Lilly on top. She felt a sudden pain at the side of her forehead as it hit the corner of the cupboard. A million stars exploded in front of her eyes. The room spun and a black veil descended over her. Oh, God, she couldn’t lose consciousness. What would happen to Lilly and the baby? Visions of her death with the babies slowly starving because no one was around to care for them rose up to torture her. Lilly, thinking this was some new kind of game, pulled at her hair, which made her headache worse. Holly dragged herself up into a sitting position, fighting nausea, pain and a seesawing room. She felt her head. Thank God, no blood. Robert chose this moment to start crying. Too scared to stand upright in case she fell down again, Holly lifted Lilly to one side and crawled on her hands and knees. Those few yards felt like miles. She was shaking by the time she made it to the bedroom. She levered herself upwards, using the wardrobe and wall for support. She had to lift the baby out of the crib somehow, but her vision became blurry. Her trembling hands were clumsy. The crib tipped over, and she grabbed Robert just before he fell out. She didn’t have the strength to right the crib. It took every ounce of willpower she possessed to stagger over to the bed and collapse on it. She shivered now, not from cold but fear—a stark overwhelming fear that opened up like a black bottomless pit wanting to swallow her. The baby could have been killed or seriously injured had she not been able to catch him. He screamed so hard he became distressed, his little face turning red, his legs and arms moving wildly. “It’s all right, baby, it’s all right. Mummy will feed you in a minute.” She leaned against the 184

Holly And The Millionaire pillows, pulling the blankets up to her waist. Thank goodness she hadn’t bothered putting on a bra. Pushing up her top, she guided the baby’s head, and his mouth clamped on her nipple. “See, Mummy wouldn’t let you go hungry,” she crooned, brushing his downy black hair with her fingertips. After Robert finished feeding, he lay there staring at her with his deep blue eyes. Would they change later, turn to gray like his father’s? His dark hair looked just like Justin’s; he had inherited the cowlick at the nape of his neck. Oh, Justin, she thought sadly, how different things could have been if you’d cared for me and been prepared to make some kind of commitment. Lilly wandered in whimpering with hunger. It was well past their normal teatime. In desperation, Holly shifted Robert to one side and offered Lilly her breast. She had been drinking from a bottle over the last few weeks but didn’t hesitate to take the breast again. Lilly sucked for about five minutes before drifting off to sleep. Robert slept now as well. If she rested her eyes, the pain might go away. What if she were suffering from concussion? If she fell asleep, she mightn’t wake up. Fear reared its ugly head again. She lay still with her eyes closed, imploring herself not to fall asleep. It would be bliss to slip into oblivion for a little while, but a single mother with two babies didn’t have the luxury. They needed help. Common sense told her this. How could she look after two babies when she struggled to get out of bed? I want Justin. She felt a sudden overwhelming desperation. I don’t care if he’ll never love me, that he’ll despise me for letting myself get pregnant and for running away. He had always been kind to Lilly. Surely he wouldn’t turn his back on them at this, their darkest hour. He wouldn’t reject his son, 185

Margaret Tanner even if he hadn’t wanted him in the first place. She must believe this or she would go to pieces completely. The logical solution would be for him to come over and make everything right again. She could relax and have a proper sleep. A few hours of uninterrupted sleep instead of broken catnaps would get her back on track again. A couple of hours of his time. Would he begrudge them that? Pride had to be booted out the door if it interfered with the welfare of her children. She argued with herself, her pounding heart becoming a desperate echo of the howling wind and rain lashing at the windows. Lilly slept now. Wrapping Robert in his bunny rug, she picked him up and maneuvered herself off the bed. Slowly, with infinite care, she stood up. The room didn’t tilt, but her head ached and she still felt nauseous. She trembled with the effort of putting the baby back into his crib and tucking him in. Her mobile phone, her lifeline to the outside world, lay on the dressing table. Grabbing it, she made her way to the lounge room and slumped in a chair. With a blanket wrapped around her shoulders she rested the phone in her lap while she argued with herself a little more. Holly woke up with a start. She must have dozed off in the chair. She didn’t have a clue how long she had been asleep, but the rest didn’t make her feel much better. It was pitch black outside now. She didn’t have the energy to get up and check the time. Her hands trembled as she picked up the phone.

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Chapter Seventeen Justin cursed as the ringing phone woke him up. Damn it all, couldn’t a man get even one night’s sleep without interruption? He decided to ignore it, but in a reflex action, his arm automatically shot out and picked it up. “Devereux,” he snarled. “Justin.” He heard the tremulous voice that had disturbed his sleep for months and wondered whether in fact he was dreaming. “It’s a matter of life and death. Don’t hang up.” The desperate plea stopped him from cutting her off straight away. “What do you want at this hour of the bloody night?” He hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in months thinking and worrying about Holly. “I need you to come over and help me. I can’t cope on my own anymore.” She started crying, and he swore under his breath. “Is Lilly all right?” What if something had happened to the child? God, he would never forgive himself for not trying to find them to make sure they were okay. “Yes, it’s me, Justin. I’m sick. I hit my head, and I’m so frightened. What if something happens to me? If I become unconscious? What happens to Lilly and—” “All right.” He cut off her almost incoherent babble. Holly could be a bit of a drama queen, but she sounded on the verge of hysteria. “Calm down and tell me where you are.” 187

Margaret Tanner She told him. “Back at the bungalow?” he repeated incredulously. “I thought you were in Queensland.” “No, no, I lied so you wouldn’t follow me. Please come straight away or something terrible might happen,” she pleaded. Oh God, surely she wouldn’t be contemplating... He broke out in a cold sweat. “Don’t do anything, just stay put until I get there.” He leapt out of bed and dashed over to the wardrobe to grab some fleecy track pants and a top. What a shocker of a night. He couldn’t remember the last time the weather had been so foul. A man must be crazy going out in such a fierce storm, but Holly sounded so distraught. He charged out of the apartment. Why the hell did he let her get to him again? He had just about gotten her out of his system, hadn’t he? As he drove out of the underground car park, he cursed under his breath. No matter what she had done, how she messed up his emotions, he couldn’t turn his back on her when she sounded so desperate. He should have checked on her, but he didn’t want to spoil things if she had found happiness with someone else. A man carrying the emotional baggage he did couldn’t give Holly the stability she needed, but he missed the pair of them. Lilly’s chubby baby arms wrapped around his neck, her sloppy kisses, Holly’s warmth and spontaneity. He had fallen in love with her but fought it every step of the way because of a crazy ideology he had manufactured years ago. Holly accused him of making her feel cheap, and he had. Wincing, he remembered the ugly accusations he threw at her, how he tried to humiliate her just to hammer home a point. She had been right. He hadn’t taken her 188

Holly And The Millionaire anywhere, but it wasn’t for the reasons she thought. Hell, he wanted her all to himself. Possessiveness was the driving force—pure and simple. Would she come back to him if he begged her to? Holly was a romantic. If he confessed his love, surely he would stand a chance of winning her back. The windscreen wipers struggled with the volume of driving rain. The roads were empty. The yellow light thrown out from the street lamps cast ominous shadows on the glistening, wet roadway. Like battery acid, fear ate away at his insides. He literally felt the deep, corrosive pain. Eventually, he made it to the tree-lined street where Holly lived. Driving slowly, he checked the house numbers as he did so. Number twenty-six was in darkness, but he peered down the side drive and spied a light cutting a swathe through the shrubbery. She must be living in the old bungalow she had told him about. He parked the car in the street and sprinted up the drive. As he fumbled with the catch on the side gate, water poured down on his head from both the sky and the tall overhanging shrubs. Damn it. He felt like kicking the gate down. Finally, he dragged it open and hurried toward the bungalow. It looked forlorn squashed between the dark shrubbery. Most women would be scared witless living alone behind an empty house, but Holly was a gutsy little thing. He hammered on the door. Why the hell didn’t she answer? He was getting drowned. “It’s Justin, open up.” The door opened. The moment he stepped over the threshold Holly hurtled into his arms. “You came, you came.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging to him like a limpet, and he held her close. What a welcome. His heart leapt 189

Margaret Tanner with hope - she still cared about him. He pushed the door shut with his foot. His euphoria quickly turned into a feeling of dread. The place felt as cold as the morgue. Holly was even thinner than he remembered, and she was trembling. Her soft, flyaway hair smelt like he remembered. He tugged it gently to bring her face up so he could taste her lips again and savor their sweetness. Shock shuddered all the way through him when he realized the state she was in. She looked white as death. Her tear-filled eyes had sooty smudges under them. A nasty bruise flawed the alabaster skin at the side of her forehead. He touched it with his fingertips and she winced. “What happened?” “I slipped over and hit my head.” Moving further into the room, he was greeted with utter chaos. Pots, pans, toys and groceries were strewn all over the place. The floor was covered in something white: powder or flour. “Lilly made the mess.” Holly started crying. “I felt too weak to clean it up.” “It’s okay,” he soothed, running his fingers through her hair as she sobbed into his wet jacket. “I understand.” But he didn’t. The place looked like a pigsty. How the hell had she let things get into such a shocking state? “I’d better take my coat off. It’s making you wet. This place is freezing. Don’t you have a fire?” He shrugged out of his coat and hung it on the door handle. “Yes, but it won’t light up. I’ve tried and tried.” “I’ll see if I can fix it. You look terrible. Have you been sick?” “Yes.” “Why didn’t you contact me earlier?” It hurt 190

Holly And The Millionaire like a physical pain that she couldn’t bring herself to ask for help until she was reduced to this pitiful state. He squatted near the fire. “The pilot light has gone out. Do you have any matches?” She nodded. “Sit down before you fall down. I’ll get them.” “There’s some in the drawer under the sink.” He picked his way through Lilly’s debris. No surprise Holly would live in a rundown dump of a place like this because it was cheap, but unbelievable for her to let it get into such a state. She had always been so fastidious at his apartment. She sat slumped in an old armchair when he returned, looking so forlorn and exhausted his heart bled. The skin stretched over her cheekbones made her heart-shaped face seem smaller, more delicate than he remembered. “When did you last eat a decent meal?” he asked as he lit the match and fiddled around until the fire came on. “I don’t remember. Yesterday, I think.” Her voice sounded husky, worn down by despair. He came over to the chair, squatted down next to it and picked up her hand. “What the hell’s been happening? How long have you been back in this dump?” “Since I left you.” “What!” The admission hit him with the force of a sledgehammer. “I lied about going to Mrs. Harris’s to salvage my pride. I knew you wanted to get rid of me.” “I never wanted to get rid of you. I just let myself get caught up with work. I spent weeks in Turkey. When I got back, you’d gone. No explanation, just some crappy little note.” “You didn’t care enough to even ring me.” “I tried on several occasions. Things were difficult with the time differences, and the phone 191

Margaret Tanner reception was virtually nonexistent in some places.” The excuse sounded even more pathetic when spoken out loud. He’d been too selfish and wrapped up in his work to bother making the effort that was the truth of it. It was crunch time. Now or never if he wanted her back. “Listen, Holly, come back to me. I’ve missed you like hell. Things will be different between us this time. I swear it…I love you.” “Since when?” she asked suspiciously. “I don’t know. Probably the first time I met you if I think about it, but I was too stupid to realize. We’ll get married. I’ll make a proper home for you and Lilly,” he promised. “Things have changed,” she whispered. She had to tell him about little Robert but couldn’t find the words. He loved her, but it was too late. At best, he would think she had tried to trap him by deliberately getting pregnant. At worst, he would be enraged because she deprived him of the chance to see his child come into the world. Better for him to have said he hated her, she thought sadly, not offer her hope of a future together only to snatch it away once he found out what she had done. “I want you desperately, Holly, nothing has changed. I—” The sudden crying of a baby cut him off mid sentence. It didn’t sound like Lilly. “Bloody hell.” Realization dawned. It slammed into him with such force he almost doubled over with the shock. All the strange pieces of the jigsaw slotted into place. He was a father, and she hadn’t told him. They had created a child together. How could she do such a thing to him? “You stupid little fool.” He towered over as she struggled to get up. She had put their child and herself at risk. Not to mention Lilly. The terrible pain in her eyes stopped his anger 192

Holly And The Millionaire stone dead. He felt overwhelmed with remorse because he had treated her with so little respect, had let what happened to Brad taint his view of marriage. Holly’s head throbbed so hard she feared it might split wide open. She wanted to stand upright but felt too weak and confused. One minute, Justin’s eyes were black with rage then she could have sworn they glistened with tears. “Please, Justin, I have to feed—” “All right,” he interrupted her. “Don’t move. You look ready to keel over.” He strode off. The bedroom was cluttered with furniture, Lilly’s things and other baby paraphernalia. He saw all of this by the light streaming in from the lounge room. Where the hell was the baby? Frantically, he glanced around. Lilly slept soundly in the bed. He leaned over and pulled the blankets closer around her shoulders and patted her soft warm cheek. He spotted the crib perched on a set of drawers. Why would Holly put a baby up there? So Lilly wouldn’t get it. He answered his own question. No wonder Holly looked so tired and drawn. She was too frightened to fall asleep. He felt sick to his stomach. His gut knotted up. Why the hell hadn’t she let him know? He picked up the baby and was shocked at its tiny size. He knew nothing about babies, but this one had to be newborn. Surely she wouldn’t have given birth here, all alone? His legs almost gave way under him, and he slumped on the bed. God Almighty, she could have died, the child could have died. As for Lilly? His mouth dried up, his chest felt tight and he found it difficult to breathe. Gritting his teeth, he stood up. “Hey, it’s okay, you’ll do yourself damage screaming so hard.” He held the baby in the crook of his arm and rocked it gently as he tried to get 193

Margaret Tanner himself under control. He staggered out into the lounge room, clutching the baby against his chest. “When and where did you give birth to this baby?” he raged, thrusting the screaming infant at her. The screams were cut off when the baby’s mouth found the comfort of Holly’s breast. “I had him in hospital,” she whispered, wondering how it was all going to end. Financially, they would be well taken care of now, but she wanted more from Justin. He had said he loved her, yet acted like he hated her. “Him? It’s a boy?” A son to inherit the empire he had built up over years of wheeling and dealing, working eighty-hour weeks. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Yes, he’s four days old.” “What the hell are you doing here, then?” he demanded, trying to get a grip on his emotions. One part of him wanted to scream and rant at her, the other part wanted to kiss all her pain and trauma away. “Public maternity hospitals send mothers home after a couple of days, and the hospital crèche wouldn’t keep Lilly any longer.” “Why didn’t you contact me before? How could you put my son at risk? Put yourself and Lilly at risk?” he demanded. “I didn’t think you cared about me, that you’d think I got pregnant on purpose.” “What kind of man do you think I am?” A selfish, egotistical scumbag, no doubt. And he was. “All right, I deserve your contempt, but why contact me tonight then?” “Because I got even more desperate than before. I’ve been too scared to fall asleep in case I didn’t wake up. Then what would happen to Lilly and Robert?” “Robert!” He only just stopped himself from 194

Holly And The Millionaire yelling, how could you name my son after your dead husband? Easy, he thought bitterly. Hadn’t he ranted like a maniac when he thought she might be pregnant? His heart constricted with guilt and remorse. She was reduced to this pitiful state because of him. “I’m sorry, Holly. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did.” His apology sounded inadequate and feeble, but he didn’t know what else to say. Shock had closed down his thinking processes. He put a trembling finger out and caressed the baby’s soft, pink cheek. How smooth it felt. How warm and alive. “If you’d only told me,” his voice broke. “I would have helped.” He felt shattered because she hadn’t been able to trust him. Not that he blamed her. Holly heard the pain in his voice and read it in his eyes. “It wasn’t so bad for a while when I had Harry to help me.” “Harry?” Justin felt his hackles rise. “Who the hell is Harry?” My knight in shining armour, she thought, giving a sad little smile. “Who the hell is he?” Justin demanded, trying to swallow down on the jealousy surging through him. I’ll rip him apart if I get hold of him. “My friend. He’s about seventy years old and owns the store where I buy my groceries. For the last few weeks, when I couldn’t get around much, I rang him up with my order, and he delivered it for me. But he’s got the flu, and Mildred, his wife has been sick,” she gabbled, wondering why she couldn’t get control of her tongue. “He rang me up and said he closed the shop because he didn’t want to leave her alone.” Justin watched Holly transfer the baby to her other breast and he suckled strongly, clenching and unclenching his little hand. His dark hair 195

Margaret Tanner stuck out a little at the nape of his neck. He had inherited the dreaded Devereux cowlick. “What do you think of little Robert Justin Kirwan?” His heart lifted with hope. If she had given the baby his name along with Robbie’s, it must mean she still cared. “He’s beautiful. Oh God, Holly.” He gulped down on the lump forming in his throat. “I’ve been such a fool. Can you forgive me?” “I don’t know. I loved you, Justin, probably right from the very start, but I didn’t want to betray Robbie by falling for you. The guilt nearly ripped me apart. I started to realize the way I loved Robbie was special, but different from how I felt about you.” She patted the baby’s head. “After you left for overseas, I discovered I was pregnant. When the doctor told me I was over four months pregnant, I nearly collapsed in shock, but she said IUDs could fall out. That’s what must have happened to me,” she gabbled. “I thought you’d think I did it on purpose to trap you. That’s why I left. I decided to go before you came back and kicked me out.” Kicked her out! He would have married her in a flash had he known, wouldn’t have let her out of his sight for a single moment. “Holly, we’ve both been such fools.” “Could you get me a disposable nappy? Robert needs to be changed before he falls asleep and I don’t feel up to it.” “Sure, just tell me what you need, and I’ll get it. When you’ve finished organizing him, I’ll cook you something to eat.” That’s if there was any food in the place. “I’m not hungry,” she said, wearily pushing at her hair. “You should still be in hospital. How the hell can they justify letting women out of hospital in your condition with no home support? It’s criminal. 196

Holly And The Millionaire I think you should spend a couple of days at Glen Fern.” “Never, I’ll sleep in the street before I go near that place again.” Her voice rose in agitation. “It’s the best hospital in Melbourne.” “Not to me it isn’t,” she cried out in anguish. “Owen tried to rape me there.” “What!” Shock rendered him almost speechless. “If I hadn’t kneed him in the groin, he would have. Then the sleaze fired me. I would have gone to the police, but I knew they wouldn’t believe me.” “The lying little creep,” Justin snarled. “I ought to tear him limb from limb. He claimed you propositioned him, so he told you to leave the hospital.” He started pacing the floor. “I was so jealous I believed him. That’s why I blackmailed you into sharing my bed. After that first night, you were so sweet, so passionate, I think I knew then you were special, but I didn’t want to admit it.” He stopped in front of her. “Remember the night I rang you from Sydney and we had phone sex?” “Yes.” Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. “Well, I actually rang you up to tell you I heard Owen had been suspended from the hospital for sexual misconduct.” “Someone reported him? I hope he goes to jail.” Thank goodness he wouldn’t be in a position to assault any other woman. It was the best news she had heard in months. “Yeah, anyway I got sidetracked and didn’t tell you.” He rummaged his fingers through his hair. “You tied my emotions up in knots; I decided I needed time to think things through before I made a decision about us. I was scared of letting my guard down. I didn’t trust women. Years ago, a friend of mine committed suicide because his 197

Margaret Tanner cheating wife ruined him. I swore I would never leave myself open to such trauma.” “I’m sorry about your friend. I’m too tired to think straight, but I don’t want to go to hospital. I just need a good night’s sleep without being scared something might happen to Lilly or our baby.” “We’ll go to my apartment.” “No, it’s too wet and cold to take the baby out. Stay here with us tonight. I’m frightened of being alone. I seem to have gone to pieces all of a sudden.” “You’ll never be alone again,” he promised. “I’m not letting you out of my sight. I’ll cut back on my workload, but if I do have to travel, we’ll do it together. I’ll make it up to you for the hell I’ve put you through.” He put his hand over his heart. “I swear it.” If it took him a lifetime and every cent he owned, he would make it up to her. Strange how money and power didn’t seem so important anymore. Love, warmth and a family were what he wanted. What he needed if he wasn’t going to live the hollow existence he had before. Without even realizing it, he had been half dead, and it had taken Holly and Lilly to breathe life back into him. From a faint flicker, it became a raging wildfire, and he knew the flames would never go out. “I only ever wanted your love.” “You’ve got it now and forever, unconditionally, Holly. So, you’ll marry me?” She stared into his eyes, and there was no mistaking his sincerity. She wanted to speak, but a sudden all-consuming weariness descended on her. She felt her last reserve of strength ebb away. “You’re exhausted.” He put his finger out and stroked her cheek. “Give the baby to me. I’ll see to him. You hop into bed.” He took Robert off her and held him in the crook of one arm. Holly felt so tired now she didn’t have the 198

Holly And The Millionaire strength to stand up. The tears started rolling down her cheeks, and she brushed them away angrily. Justin was here. He loved her. They were safe. “Why am I crying?” “Because you’re exhausted, darling. You’ve reached the end of your tether.” He helped her up, and with his free arm supporting her, she tottered into the bedroom. The baby whimpered. “Shh.” Justin rocked him gently. “We’ll look after mummy first. She’s your meal ticket.” “Do you know how to change a nappy?” “No, but I’m a quick learner, and there are probably instructions on the packet.” “You can’t know how relieved I am to have you here. I’m just about ready to fall apart.” “I know, any wonder after what you’ve been through.” All because of me, he castigated himself. What would have happened if Holly had completely collapsed? He shuddered just thinking about the danger all three of them had been in. A vision of finding them dead reared up and nearly plucked his eyes out. “Holly, um...” She watched in surprise as Justin’s cheeks reddened. She had never seen him look embarrassed before. “Is there anything I need to do for you?” “No, thanks. After I’ve had a sleep, you can cook me something if you like. There are tins of food in the cupboard.” She slid gratefully into bed beside Lilly who still slept soundly. “I’m too tired to bother changing into my nightie. A couple of hours sleep, and I’ll be as good as new,” she promised. He doubted it. By the look of her, she needed to sleep for a week. “If you don’t think you can manage to change Robert, I’ll—” 199

Margaret Tanner “No, no, I’ll be all right,” he interrupted with more confidence than he felt. How hard could it be to change a baby’s nappy? For goodness sake, he had degrees in business management and economics, didn’t he? Leaning over, he kissed Holly on the forehead. “Go to sleep. Leave everything to me.” The baby felt as wet as a shag. The dampness had even seeped through the all-in-one suit thing he wore. Justin fumbled around near the chest of drawers where the crib stood and found a box of disposable nappies. After extracting one, he glanced around and spied a pile of baby clothes. Searching through them, he selected a similar garment to what the baby already wore. He didn’t dare put him down in case he started crying and woke Lilly. He wanted to have the place cleaned up as well. He suddenly realized why Holly had gotten so overwhelmed by everything. She was recovering from childbirth. What was his excuse? Feeling inadequate for the first time in his life, he made his way to the lounge room. Laying the baby on the sofa, he knelt on the floor and unclipped the fastening on the legs of the suit and pulled the lower half of his body out of it. Oh God. Even before he saw the mess, Justin smelt it. Of all the rotten luck, Robert had both wet and dirtied himself. Now what? He almost yelled out to Holly. Was he a man or a mouse? What could he clean the mess up with? He spied a box of tissues. Forcing himself not to gag, he undid the nappy. He cleaned the baby up then exchanged the dirty wet nappy for a clean one. How tiny and fragile he looked lying with his eyes wide open, a pout on his little mouth. After checking him to make sure he had everything a boy baby should have and carefully avoiding the still raw umbilical cord area, he 200

Holly And The Millionaire adjusted the nappy and stuck down the tabs on either side. “Not a bad job, little man, if I do say so myself. Now, if I can get you out of this wet suit and into a dry one, we’ll be in business.” He gave an audible sigh of relief after he finished the job, but Robert started to screw his face up, ready to let out a scream. Justin hadn’t banked on that. He picked up the baby and leaned him against his shoulder and started patting him on the back. “Shh, don’t wake your mother or your sister.” He started walking him up and down. “I’m new to this stuff. Give me a break. We’re both males. We have to stick together. Don’t expect me to sing to you because I don’t know any songs.” The whimpers turned into little snuffles, and he felt a surge of triumph. This, combined with the pride of having such a beautiful son, gave him the biggest adrenalin rush he had ever had. He wanted to be a hands-on dad and a good husband to Holly. All his doubts were blown away on that score now. He only needed to convince her. Even if she weren’t prepared to again offer him the love that had once shone in her eyes, he would gratefully accept whatever crumbs of affection she might feel inclined to cast his way. If he bided his time, did the right thing by her, showed that he had changed and genuinely wanted to make a life for all of them, he could win Holly over. She was sweet and warm without a vicious bone in her whole body. It would work out for them. He had to believe that if he wanted to keep his sanity. Why did a man have to nearly lose something precious before he realized its value? **** When Holly woke up, it was five o’clock in the morning but still dark. Lilly lay cuddled up to her 201

Margaret Tanner sleeping peacefully. Why hadn’t the baby cried to be fed? She edged away from Lilly, climbed out of bed and tiptoed into the bathroom to freshen up. In the lounge room, which now felt warm, she stopped dead at the sight meeting her eyes. The whole place had been tidied up, and Justin lay flat on his back on the sofa with Robert stretched out on his stomach. Both of them were sound asleep. She was nearly swamped by an overwhelming tide of emotion. So much for the breakfast Justin had promised to cook. An imp of mischief prompted her to go over to the sofa. She felt invigorated, like a new woman now. She had slept without interruption for a few hours. More important, Justin was here with them. His eyes were closed, his long lashes resting on his cheeks. When she ran a finger over his puckered lips, he drew it into his mouth, and she realized he was awake. “What time is it?” he asked, stifling a yawn, but not daring to move in case he disturbed the baby. “Five o’clock.” “Aw hell.” He winced. “I’ve got a crick in my neck, and I’ve probably slipped a couple of discs in my back. How do you feel now?” “Much better.” She leaned over and picked up Robert who was starting to stir. “Thanks for cleaning up for me. The place looks decent now.” Decent? It was a bloody dump but he didn’t say so. He didn’t want to get Holly’s back up as she still hadn’t agreed to marry him. “If you feel up to cooking me breakfast like you promised, I’ll feed your son.” It sounded good to be able to say that now, even better to see the pride in Justin’s eyes as he watched them. “He’s getting ready to bellow.” She sat on the sofa and Justin barely had time to swing his legs to the floor. He watched as Holly 202

Holly And The Millionaire put the baby to her breast, and he started sucking strongly. “He’s a hungry little fellow.” “Yeah.” Justin grinned. “Looks to be a breast man, like his father.” He rubbed his fingers across his stubbly chin and stood up. “I’ll get you breakfast like I promised, if you—” He stopped mid sentence. “If I what?” “Agree to marry me.” Holly’s girlish giggle warmed his heart, and happiness surged through him. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Justin.” “Good. I better get started on breakfast. I’ll make the arrangements for us to be married as soon as I can, and Holly, I want you to know that I love Lilly too. I’d be proud if you would let me adopt her.” “But—” “Only if you want to, of course. I mean, later, you can explain about her father. I’d never want to take that away from her.” “Oh Justin, I’m so happy. Do you think he’d mind?” He didn’t even pretend to not know what she was talking about. “No,” he said softly, picking up her hand and raising it to his lips. “Not if he’s the kind of man you described to me. He would be glad you and Lilly were able to find happiness again.” Justin was right. Holly thought of the young soldier who slept amidst the green fields of his native land, and she somehow knew he would be pleased for her and Lilly.

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