Knowing Caleb

KNOWING CALEB Cameron Dane

www.loose-id.com

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This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. Loose Id® e-books are for sale to adults ONLY, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.

Knowing Caleb Cameron Dane

This e-book is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Published by Loose Id LLC 870 Market St, Suite 1301 San Francisco CA 94103-2907 www.loose-id.com

Copyright © September 2008 by Cameron Dane All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the purchaser of this ebook ONLY. No part of this e-book may be reproduced or shared in any form, including, but not limited to printing, photocopying, faxing, or emailing without prior written permission from Loose Id LLC.

ISBN 978-1-59632-775-7 Available in Adobe PDF, HTML, MobiPocket, and MS Reader

Printed in the United States of America

Editor: C. B. Calsing Cover Artist: April Martinez

Dedication

This one is for you, Vicki. Caleb and Jake are yours. Later, gator. -CD

Prologue

Goddamnit, Caleb needed a good, hard fuck. He didn’t have a particular preference for what the woman should look like. Hell, he wasn’t picky; he enjoyed them all. As long as they loved the act of fucking just as much as he did, he found them all beautiful, and he never had any difficulty getting his dick up for the task. Lately, though, he’d just been so damn busy he hadn’t had the time. A man ought not go six months without sex; it just didn’t seem natural. And if that man also happened to have demon blood coursing through his veins, well, that made the celibacy that much harder to tolerate. Testosterone fueled Caleb Hawkins’s demon blood, beyond that of the most potent human male, demanding that he mate, vigorously and often. He intended to satisfy that desire tonight. It was nearing midnight when Caleb pushed through the doors of The Roundup, a rowdy bar that filled to capacity on the weekends when a rodeo stopped in Bozeman. This weekend, one had. Satisfaction slid through Caleb’s insides as he thought about the rodeo, a place where he had finally earned a spot as a stock contractor on the minor league PBR tour. After three long years of networking and making his face known to ownership, five months ago they finally gave his bulls a chance to compete. Between that, and his portion of the family ranch back home, Caleb hadn’t looked up or taken a breath since. Tonight, that would change. Excitement hummed through Caleb’s body as the blast of live country music hit his ears. He stepped inside the dimly lit bar and the smell of smoke, beer, and perspiring bodies assaulted his nose. Another lovely gift of his demon heritage, his senses heightened to acute sensitivity after making a blood kill to sustain his life. Having no choice in the matter, Caleb had hunted and killed a coyote just a short while ago. Because of that, the blood coursing through his veins felt particularly alive, making him horny as hell. He knew, when he sank into a woman tonight, it would feel even more like heaven than normal. All

of his sharpened senses would be in full play, and the pleasure in his orgasm would surely knock him out for at least a week. Christ, his cock already twitched in his jeans. Caleb couldn’t wait. Just as he moved toward the crowded dance floor, and honed his focus in on a shapely brunette shaking her sweet ass all by herself, Caleb’s hearing tingled with awareness. A strangely familiar sandpaper-rough voice reached his ears. Caleb turned, listening for the distressed tone that cut right through the layered din of laughing and raucous crowd noise. He searched for someone who needed assistance, even though everyone around him continued to dance and laugh as if everything were okay. Doing his level best to ignore the other sounds in the building, Caleb moved down the length of the long bar. He picked up speed as the gravelly voice rose in volume, enough that Caleb didn’t need his sensitized hearing to find the owner of the familiar voice in the crowd. Caleb took in the scene before him: a beefy guy hauling a cowboy bodily out of the bar, with the cowboy cursing up a storm and fighting all the way. Caleb could not believe his eyes. Quiet, solitary Jake Chase, getting thrown out of a bar. Caleb could not stand by idly. His sister-in-law Risa would kill him. Cursing to himself under his breath that he had no business involving himself, Caleb threw himself into the fray. “Hey, hey. What are you doing to him?” He grabbed the bouncer’s arm. “Let him go.” The big man shook off Caleb’s hold, pushing him back a few feet with a rough shove. “Back off, asshole. You wanna try throwing a swing at someone? I’ll throw you out too.” Caleb’s gaze slid to the cowboy again. Although, he guessed cowboy didn’t exactly fit. Jake Chase must be at least forty, if not a few years older. Belligerent green eyes met Caleb’s, more fire burning in them than Caleb had ever seen in this man. “Jake.” Caleb walked backward to keep up with the bouncer hauling Jake toward the exit. “You all right, man?”

“I’m fine.” Jake’s rough voice snarled the words, his mouth twisting as he said them. “I can take care of my own damn self.” Jake pulled at the hold the bouncer had on his arm, and when that didn’t work, his other arm swung up from the side. Caleb threw himself in and grabbed that fist before it made contact with the giant man’s jaw. “Hold on there a minute, buddy,” he said to Jake. “You don’t want to do something that’s gonna land you in jail.” Caleb slipped his hold from Jake’s strong fist up to his equally hard forearm, and tightly wrapped his fingers around the straining muscle. As he manacled himself to a fuming Jake, Caleb turned and looked up, up, to the bouncer. “Listen, I know this guy a little bit, and I can tell you that he’s not a troublemaker.” Caleb did his damnedest to play peacemaker, although he didn’t know why. Jake was a big boy, who likely wouldn’t welcome it. At the same time, Risa, a part-time bull rider on the tour, had taken the solitary man under her wing over the last few years while on the circuit. She would strangle Caleb if he walked away. Caleb put every ounce of charm he possessed into his voice, took every shining glint of arrogance out of his gaze, and tried talking to the bouncer again, all with Jake struggling against both holds -- and not helping his cause one bit. “I can see that my friend is drunk, and I don’t want him to get hurt any more than you want to hurt him. Why don’t you let me take him out of here and sober him up? I promise I won’t let him back in this place for the entire weekend that the rodeo is here.” Jake worked for another stock contractor on the rodeo circuit, so he wouldn’t have any reason to stay in Bozeman after that. “Will you let me do that? Please?” The big man assessed Jake, but came back to Caleb, and spent an even longer beat drilling a stare right through Caleb’s forehead. Finally, he let go of Jake’s arm and said, “Get him out of here and sober him up, for his own good.” The man glanced at a still growling, stubborn Jake. “I’m following you to the door. I’ll be watching until I see you leave this property.” “No problem.”

Trying to dismiss the bouncer from his mind -- not to mention the growing crowd of onlookers -- Caleb looked at Jake, just slightly taller and thicker than Caleb’s own six-foot frame, and wondered how hard it would be to subdue the guy physically, if Jake continued to put up a struggle. Christ, he didn’t want it coming to that. He hadn’t put himself into the middle of a fight in years. Suddenly knowing what would work on him, Caleb leaned into Jake’s ear and said softly, “Risa would hate to see you like this.” He mentioned his sister-in-law by name, knowing Jake had a soft spot for her. “If you hurt yourself doing something stupid, it would break her heart.” Jake yanked his head back, his changeling green gaze finding Caleb’s. Recognition of Risa’s name shone through, and so did the first signs of something that looked like deep pain and hurt. Unexpectedly, it tugged at Caleb’s heart, and suddenly he wanted to help the guy for himself, no longer because Risa would want him to do it. “Let me get you out of here,” he said gently, and started to tug Jake in the direction of the exit. This time, Jake didn’t fight; he just let Caleb lead him outside to the parking lot. Caleb walked Jake to his truck and put him in the passenger seat, all under the watchful eye of the bouncer. He leaned over Jake and secured his seat belt, momentarily shocked by the body heat the man radiated, even half passed out drunk. He almost moved closer for a second feel, but quickly stopped himself and drew back, meeting that sad, sad gaze again. “Can you tell me where you’re staying?” he asked, hearing an unnatural huskiness in his normally smooth voice. “Do you have a key I can see, so I know where to take you?” Without words exchanged, Jake fished a key card out of his wallet and handed it over to Caleb. Caleb drove them to the motel, and managed to get Jake inside his room. As Caleb flipped on a light that barely cut the shadows in the musty room, Jake lifted his hand to his mouth, uttered, “Oh God,” and raced across the small space. In the darkness, Caleb heard the first violent retching, the quick consequences of the choice Jake had made in filling himself with booze this night.

“Damn it.” Caleb shook his head. He assured himself that he’d done enough and could go, but found himself moving across the floor to the bathroom anyway. When he reached the bathroom, he turned on the light, flooding the small space with unforgiving fluorescent light. Jake’s head hovered over the toilet bowl, spitting and breathing heavily, exhaustion evident in every line of his hunched body. Silently, Caleb grabbed one of the plastic cups sitting on the sink and filled it with water from the faucet. Squatting down next to the suffering man, Caleb touched Jake’s shoulder, bringing his attention up from the floor. His mouth in a hard grimace, Jake took the water and swirled it around his mouth, spitting it out into the toilet. He repeated the process twice more before setting the empty cup on the cold linoleum floor. “She would be so disappointed in me,” Jake said softly, the words barely more than a rasp of sound. “I’ve let her down.” “Nah.” Caleb slid his arm around Jake’s waist and slowly drew the unsteady man to his feet. “Risa doesn’t think that way. And she won’t ever hear about this moment from me.” They got to the bed, and Jake tentatively sat down. “Not Risa.” He turned luminescent eyes brimming with wetness up to Caleb, and Caleb almost lost his footing. “My wife,” he said. “I’ve let down my wife.” Of course. Caleb could not believe he’d forgotten that Jake was a widower. Empathy that Caleb normally reserved for his small circle of family and friends welled up in him, and he gently lowered the guy onto the bed. Jake went without a fight, blinking his bright eyes up at the dingy ceiling. Caleb drew the man’s boots off and set them on the floor, then unbuckled his belt and pulled it out of the loops of his jeans, and set it on the floor too. Figuring he would leave the man to sleep off the aftereffects of his drinking, Caleb moved to the door to let himself out. Jake’s next words stopped Caleb dead, with his hand wrapped around the doorknob. “I hate my life, and I don’t want to live without Krista anymore.” An awful, strangled noise reached Caleb’s ears, making him shut his own eyes on the wave of pain that hit him from all the way across the room.

Then it got worse. “Six damn years. Six, goddamned, fucking years since she went away and left me alone. God, I hate her for dying. I hate her more for not taking me with her.” Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Caleb did not need to hear this, and he for damn sure wasn’t the guy with the right words to help. He found himself moving back to the head of the double bed anyway, and sitting down on the half that Jake didn’t already occupy. Putting a flat pillow behind his back, Caleb leaned his weight into the wooden headboard. “I think I’ll hang around for a bit,” he said, not looking down at the body in bed next to him. “Maybe watch some TV.” He grabbed the clicker off the nightstand and turned on the television. Jake didn’t answer, but Caleb knew he couldn’t leave. If the guy did something stupid and irreversible, Caleb wouldn’t ever be able to look Risa in the eyes again. She really did have a great affection for the guy. Caleb had no other motivation for staying. He thought about that brunette in the bar again, and then took a quick glance down at the very different brunet next to him in bed. A little bit of gray edging his hair, and a whole lot more muscular than Caleb’s usual bedmates. A whole lot more desolate and lost too. So much for getting laid tonight. Shit. Chapter One

Caleb snuggled into the warmth in front of him, not wanting to wake up from the most delicious dream of two women running their mouths over every inch of his body, each taking turns lingering over his prick. Damn, it had been forever since he’d taken part in a three-way, probably more than fifty years. Maybe he could talk the sweet, hot body in front of him into staying one more night, and maybe calling a friend of hers to join in the fun.

A hum of anticipation sounded in Caleb’s throat just thinking about it, and he pushed into the weight in front of him, rubbing his morning wood against a solid wall of muscle. Of muscle? He touched a hand over the face sharing a pillow with him, feeling coarse stubble under the pads of his fingers, not the smooth, peach-soft skin from his dream. Just then, a distinctly rigid shaft dug into the front of his thigh, and in a flash, Caleb’s eyes popped open from sleep, all grogginess gone. Wide green eyes met his, shock showing in them as clear as what must be shining in his own. Jake Chase. Good Christ, Caleb had shoved his dick into another man’s stomach. Caleb rolled out of bed in one fast motion, his face flaming with heat. “I must have fallen asleep. I was dreaming,” he quickly explained as he backed to the door. “About a woman, I mean. Not about you.” “Me too.” Jake’s voice sounded scratchy from across the room. “About my wife.” He rolled over onto his back, but immediately groaned and shoved the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Ohhh, God, I feel like shit. I want to die.” Once again, Jake’s words stalled Caleb before he could flee the room. “You were talking crap like that last night,” he shared, almost reluctantly. “That’s why I stayed with you. You looked bad enough to do permanent damage to yourself. I don’t need the guilt.” I have enough of that on my conscience already popped into his head, briefly reminding him of his old life. A past that he didn’t allow to linger in his thoughts anymore. Shaking his head, Caleb scattered those haunting memories from his mind. “Do you still need some company?” he asked. “Or can I go take a shower and get ready for the rodeo without worrying about what you’re gonna do the minute I leave this room?” Jake growled from his position on the bed, his arm still thrown over his eyes. “I’m not gonna kill myself. I don’t need a babysitter. You can go.” Caleb couldn’t get Jake’s voice saying “I want to die” out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. “Why don’t you meet me for breakfast at

the diner on the corner, say, in half an hour? You owe me a meal for getting you out of that bar. You would have gotten arrested for hitting that bouncer.” “I can see right through your plan, Hawkins,” Jake said. He finally lowered his arm from his face and turned his head in Caleb’s direction, meeting Caleb’s gaze straight on. “But I’ll meet you there anyway, because I do owe you one. That is the truth.” Caleb nodded. “Half an hour.” He got the hell out before those soulful green eyes made him start caring more than he should. ***** Caleb sat across from Jake while they waited for their meal, the silence between them unusual and tense. This didn’t fit Caleb’s norm; he could usually chat with anyone about anything, and had a natural tendency to make others feel comfortable around him. Maybe seeing the guy so wrecked last night made superficial conversation seem trite. Or maybe waking up with a pair of hard-ons rubbing against one another -- no matter that they hadn’t happened for each other -- put a kink in Caleb’s ease with the man. Either way, he couldn’t find the right words within him to begin a casual “shoot the breeze” kind of conversation. “I apologize for my behavior last night,” Jake suddenly blurted, breaking the ten-minute silence. “I don’t usually drink, but I have a few days every year that I just can’t get through without a little bit of help.” “The anniversary of the death of your wife being one of them.” Jake jerked back at Caleb’s words, his bloodshot eyes wide. Caleb added, “You said something last night about being without her for six years. I drew the conclusion that yesterday had significance to that timeline.” A shutter went up over Jake’s eyes, something that hadn’t existed at all last night. This morning, he became the Jake Chase that Caleb recognized from crossing paths on the tour. “I don’t usually talk about it. Ever, really. But yes, she did die six years ago yesterday.”

The waitress set plates in front of Caleb and Jake just then, halting their tentative conversation. Jake looked a little green as the plate of eggs, bacon, and toast slid in front of him, but Caleb understood the man needed to put food in his belly if he wanted to get through his workday without dropping. Caleb didn’t have any problems with his own meal. Digging right into the loaded three-egg omelet on his plate, he practically salivated over the cheddar cheese, red peppers, tomatoes, and ham that poked out of the stuffed edges. Once he shoved a few forkfuls down his throat and settled his immediate hunger, Caleb forced himself past his strange discomfort with Jake, and tried to pick up the conversation where it had left off. “Can’t you tell Morrison about these tough few days you have? That way, he doesn’t schedule you to work them. You’ve been with the guy, what, at least three years now since Risa first introduced us. I don’t think a few days off a couple of times a year is too much to ask.” Jake growled, similar to the noise he’d made back in the motel room and last night in the bar. Caleb began to suspect it a natural part of the man’s vocabulary. “I’m not supposed to be on the damn rodeo circuit at all. I hired on to work his land in Wyoming, but he wrangled me into traveling with the stock when one of the guys he trusted had to give it up because he had a heart attack. Morrison keeps promising me that he’ll send me back to the land eventually, and that he’ll give me a raise and make me an assistant to the foreman as a thank you for doing this traveling shit that I hate.” He raised a dark brow. “I’ve moved past thinking he’s ever gonna make good on his promise.” “Is that what you want?” Caleb paused to take a swig of his orange juice. “To participate in running a stretch of land?” Jake nodded, his eyes lighting up in a way that backed up the abbreviated motion. “I know it isn’t exciting, but I’m just a homebody, you know?” His gaze met Caleb’s, and held. “I want to wake up in the same place every day, sleep in the same bed, ride a horse and work with some cattle, come home, eat, watch a game, and go to bed. That’s all I want. That’s all I need.”

Caleb noticed Jake didn’t finish that statement with to make me happy, the way most folks did. A bad, bad idea started buzzing in Caleb’s head right then, but he couldn’t push it down. “You ever run a ranch before?” “Hell yes,” Jake answered. “I unofficially helped run Morrison’s for a year before he took me off the land and put me in charge of the touring stock. I worked ranch property all through my twenties, and did a little bit of bull riding on the side for a few years. That’s why Morrison pulled me for the stock job when he needed someone. My wife and I were saving toward getting a piece of land of our own before she passed. Couldn’t really see myself owning a place without her, so I stopped looking to buy when she died. Can’t see spending the money without her. Doesn’t seem right.” No, no, no, no, no ricocheted in Caleb’s head, even as he opened his mouth to speak. “I just happen to need a foreman. You interested in running my land?” Jake’s fork fell out of his hand and hit his plate with a loud clatter. “What?” The man’s fingers squeezed around his coffee cup hard enough to turn his knuckles white. “Are you serious?” “I don’t joke about my property. Well, our property,” Caleb quickly corrected. “I’m sure Risa has told you that I have two brothers, and that we own a stretch of land together.” “Yeah, she has. Connor and Cain, right?” Caleb nodded, and couldn’t help the half smile that tilted his lips as he thought about his siblings. Connor and his wife Cassie had made Caleb into an uncle three times over. Cain had gone through hell in order to live as a human with his partner Luke. Caleb couldn’t be more proud of either one of them if they actually shared blood. They didn’t. Nor were either of them demon anymore; only Caleb remained with the damned demon blood. Stuffing that ache of envy down before it took him over, Caleb quickly explained the offer. “The job isn’t overseeing the entire stretch of Hawkins Ranch land, but rather the piece I run. It’s a decent size, and I have my young bull stock there, as well as some of the

cattle we raise for beef, and a stable full of horses. Risa still works for me, so you’ll see a familiar face just about every day. I’d offer her the job, but she still travels with her bull riding and wouldn’t be any more stabilizing a presence than I am lately. I’ve also got an ornery old guy named Hank that could run the place with his eyes closed, but won’t. Says he’s too old to learn the office half of the job, and refuses to touch a computer. He would lend a hand with anything while you’re learning the ropes, if I’m not there. So, what do you say?” Jake twisted his coffee cup around in a slow circle with the tips of his fingers. For the longest time, he seemed incredibly focused on the brown liquid before finally lifting his attention and attaching it to Caleb. “If you’re serious, then I say sign me up. When can I start?” Caleb chuckled, and a funny little tickle spread through his middle. “You didn’t even ask what we can afford to pay you.” Jake’s gaze didn’t waver. “I don’t give a shit about the money, and I think you know that. Besides, a strong-willed woman like Risa wouldn’t work for you if you weren’t a damn good employer. I’ll use her as my guide that the Hawkins’s are fair people.” “She might be just a little influenced” -- Caleb held up his fingers, with just a smidge of space between them -- “by the fact that her brother and my brother are married.” Jake drummed his fingers in a fast rhythm against the Formica tabletop. “You already trying to talk me out of a job you just offered me, Hawkins?” Caleb sat up straight, tension immediately filling his entire being. “Why? Is who my brother chooses to love gonna be a problem for you? If it is, then I take back my offer. I won’t have anyone working for me who can’t respect Cain and Luke.” Jake jerked upright himself. “I didn’t mean that. It just sounded like you were trying to tell me I ought to ask more questions before I say yes. I met Luke and your brother once, you know.” His eyes glittered like hard chips of emeralds. “Risa introduced us at the world finals a while back. I may not know any other gay people, or even understand

it, but they seemed like nice guys, and I didn’t have any problem shaking their hands, if that’s what you’re implying.” “Sorry.” Holding his hand and fork up, Caleb retracted his figurative claws. “I didn’t mean to cut into you. My family brings out the fighter in me, even when it isn’t always warranted.” Jake dipped his head. “I can respect that.” “So, what do you say? Are you in? I’m coming and going so much these days that I really could use someone to run the everyday operations, and to keep the cowboys in line and working.” Damn, the more Caleb thought about it, the more he liked his impulsive idea. Giving Jake a job had merit. He really did need someone there every day when he couldn’t be, and having a guy like Jake take the job -someone so obviously grateful and suited to the position -- would ease any sense of concern he might have in hiring and interviewing someone cold. “If you think you’re up for it, I’d love to bring you into the organization.” Jake put his fork down and held out his strong, tan hand. “Caleb, you have yourself a foreman.” Chapter Two

Jake waited with his hand stuck out across the table for Caleb to take it, and change his life. God, he hated moving around with the rodeo. His heart hurting even now, he knew it reminded him too much of his wife, who also knew how to ride a bull and a bucking bronco. Caleb finally slipped his hand into Jake’s, shook on the deal, and Jake breathed a silent sigh of relief. If he knew how to read people, this man’s handshake was as good as a signed contract. When Caleb took his hand away, Jake said, “I’ll give Morrison my notice. In the meantime, I’ll try to get with you as much as I can, and you can tell me everything I need to know about the property.”

An easy smile came to Caleb’s face, and it had Jake grinning back and relaxing the stiffness in his muscles. It happened so damned naturally it shocked him to feel it. “Will do,” Caleb said. Glancing at the watch on his strong wrist for a moment, he brought his eyes back up to Jake. “We won’t have much time today --” “Excuse me.” A cowboy with midnight black hair eased up from the booth at Jake’s back and moved to the men’s table. Jake immediately recognized the young man as a guy working in the background of the minor league PBR tour. With the man’s face tingeing pink, he slid his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “My name is Gabriel Banyon. I apologize for eavesdropping on your conversation, but I was just wondering if you’ll be hiring on any additional cowboys with your new foreman?” Jake noticed Caleb’s gaze narrow. The cowboy must have too, because he rushed to explain. “I need to get off the tour, but I have to have a job before I do it. I have a girlfriend I’d like to settle with, but I don’t want to ask her to marry me while I’m moving around the country for nine months at a stretch. That wouldn’t be right to do to her.” His hazel gaze darted from Jake to Caleb, and back. “I have experience, if that’s a concern. I worked a cattle ranch down in Kansas for a few years right out of high school, and I also have experience with the bull stock. I could probably get in touch with some of the men I worked with if you wanted ref --” “Whoa, whoa.” Caleb held up a hand, shutting down the young man’s sell job. “Don’t look at me. You need to talk to him.” Caleb pointed at Jake, shocking him. Hell, he hadn’t expected such trust and responsibility five minutes into the job. Jake raised a brow Caleb’s way, and the man nodded. His heart racing a little bit at this bizarre turn of events, Jake turned his attention back to the twenty-something-year-old kid. “Let me have a few days to talk with Caleb. I need to get a sense of what his needs are, and if there are positions that need filling. I’ll talk to you soon, if I have something to offer. I know where to find you. All right?”

“Can’t ask for more than that.” Gabriel stuck his hand out, and both Jake and Caleb shook it. “I’ll see you around the chutes.” With that, the dark-haired dude moved to the cash register, paid his bill, and left. Realizing they needed to get a move on too, Jake and Caleb quickly ate the rest of their meal in relative silence. Getting up to pay their tab, Jake asked, “Will I need to hire a lot of men to work the property, or are you pretty well staffed already?” “I have a lot of good people,” Caleb answered, “so you won’t be running shorthanded when you take over. Having said that, I’m always willing to take on an extra guy or two, just in case. Why? Do you know this Gabriel kid? Do you want to hire him?” “I’ve seen him around a bit.” As they walked out of the diner, Jake shook off a sense of kinship to the kid’s situation. “He’s new this season, I think. Leastways, I don’t remember seeing him around last year, or before that. He always seems to have his head down working hard when I come across him, though, so that gives me a good feeling of his work ethic.” “So go ahead and play mama bear then. Hire him so that he can be with his girl.” Jake stumbled at Caleb’s words, his insides seizing. Caleb grabbed his arm, chuckling the whole time. “What?” Caleb prodded. “Are you gonna try to tell me that his puppy dog eyes when he mentioned his girl didn’t get to you? You’re human; it’s allowed.” His cheeks heating, Jake looked away and focused his attention on a doughnut shop across the street with a big, plastic, sprinkle-covered confection spinning in a slow circle on top of the store. His eyes following that slow turn, Jake said, “I won’t hire him unless I think he’s qualified for the job, sympathy for his situation or not.” “With you, Jake, I don’t doubt it one bit.” Jake whipped his head around and locked on laughing blue eyes. “What in the hell does that mean? You make it sound like a dig.” “It means you strike me as the kind of guy who takes his work and life very seriously.” A hint of red bloomed on the slashes of Caleb’s cheeks. “I tend to evoke the exact opposite feeling in people most of

the time. Believe me, I meant it as a compliment. You’re exactly the type of person I want in charge.” Jake’s wife often told him the same thing about his personality and demeanor. With Krista, he could always tell she did it to tease and to remind him to relax his natural intensity some; she did it out of love. Jake didn’t know how to read other people nearly as well as he did his wife, never had been very good at it before her -- or after. He needed to learn Caleb Hawkins very, very fast. “Listen.” Jake pushed through his discomfort and made the first step. “Since you already know where I’m staying for the weekend, why don’t you come over for a couple of hours tonight? We’ll have some burgers, and you can fill me in on some of the essentials about Hawkins Ranch.” Caleb didn’t answer right away. His jaw ticked at the back, and a flicker of frustration, maybe, moved across his gaze. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Jake backtracked. “We can schedule it for later, if you have other plans.” Hell, maybe the guy had a date. Just because Jake couldn’t look at another woman… Determinedly, he stuffed that back deep before it pulled him completely under in one big swoop. “Nope.” Caleb suddenly shook his head, the smile back in his eyes as easily as on his wide mouth. Wide mouth? Why in the hell would Jake think to note something like that? “I’ve been putting it off for months; I can wait a little longer. We’ll talk tonight. Oh, hey” -- he paused beside a battered blue truck -- “do you need a lift back to the bar to get your vehicle? I didn’t even think about that when I left your room earlier.” “Thanks anyway, but I’m gonna walk. I need a little more fresh air to help me clear my head before I start work.” “All right.” Caleb touched the brim of his cowboy hat, and then climbed into his truck. “I’ll see you tonight.” “I’ll buy the food.” Jake turned to start walking, but paused before he took his first step. Looking back, he found Caleb’s blue eyes through

the open driver’s side window. “Thanks,” he said, and felt a surprising scratch of emotion working his throat for the simple word. “No problem. I’ve got a feeling this is gonna work out great” -- that crazy, easy half smile quirked Caleb’s lips up at the edge again -- “and I’m not usually wrong. See you later.” Caleb drove away, and Jake started off in the direction of the bar. As he walked, he wondered if Krista had somehow seen him struggling and given him this gift. Caleb had witnessed pain in Jake that he never let anyone see. That knowledge weighed on Jake with embarrassment and humiliation. He didn’t like people seeing him hurting for his wife; he always had to suppress the desire to hit them when they told him it would get better with time. It wouldn’t get better, and Jake knew it. He appreciated the fact that Caleb hadn’t tried to tell him otherwise. He wouldn’t be able to tolerate a boss condescending to him or trying to fix him. Jake didn’t want fixing. He had no interest in moving on, or giving up his wife. ***** Leaning his shoulder against the doorway to the office, Caleb watched Jake work at the desk as if he had owned it forever. Hawkins Ranch proudly boasted two brand spanking new buildings on the property, one of which now corralled the office staff from all branches of their businesses, as well as a conference room -- something that in six months they had used all of twice. Each brother still had a laptop that could access everything they needed from home though. Caleb had an office down at the horse stable too, but a funny little frisson of happiness worked its way through his chest to see Jake choosing to work in the evenings from the office in the house when he didn’t have to do so. In the two months since Caleb’s impulsive job offer, Jake had done nothing but excel with quiet strength and authority. During the time

Caleb spent at home, away from the tour, he liked the interaction he witnessed between Jake and his hands. Even if he hadn’t seen everything with his own eyes, Connor and Cain raved about him, teasing Caleb about Jake’s superior organization skills and how quickly he returned phone calls. Caleb didn’t mind the ribbing. Rather, it pleased him to hear about Jake settling in so well. The perpetual sadness in the man’s eyes got to Caleb in a way he let very few things affect him. It didn’t take a genius to see that the guy still hadn’t gotten over his wife’s death. Caleb understood memories that wouldn’t release one from their hold, and so didn’t ask or push Jake to explain. “I need to go out for a bit.” Caleb suddenly broke the silence, bringing Jake’s down-turned head upright. Jake wore a sleek pair of blackframed glasses, something Caleb had not seen before. It struck him as another very human thing; a foible that Caleb envied as surely as many who had to wear corrective lenses hated having to do it. With demon blood coursing through him, his eyesight would never deteriorate. Nor was he susceptible to human diseases, although -thank God -- the elements did age his appearance some, and he had been injured a number of times, so the fact that he looked to be in his late thirties after having been in Quinten for nearly eighteen years didn’t rouse people’s suspicions. In fact, he looked just a year or two shy of Jake’s age, which he now knew was forty, even though in actuality Caleb had walked this earth for nearly two centuries. Better not to think about that too much either. Shaking his head, Caleb put his attention back on the tilt of Jake’s head, and the question in his eyes. “Sorry. I’m tired,” Caleb said. “I guess I drifted there for a bit.” “Maybe you shouldn’t work so hard on your days off from the tour.” Jake leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms against his chest. So damn natural looking, as if he owned it all. Caleb never would have questioned Jake’s ownership if he didn’t know for a fact that he owned the land himself. “Give yourself a little down time to recover.” That sparked a chuckle out of Caleb. “You ever known a cowboy to take down time?”

A hint of a smile tugged at the edge of Jake’s lips. “Can’t say I have. Did you need me?” Jake suddenly sat upright, as if remembering that he sat at Caleb’s desk. “You want to go over some paperwork? Let me show you how things have been going?” “Maybe tomorrow.” Christ, Caleb had an important task he still needed to do tonight. Made him wonder why he’d paused at the office door when he’d spotted Jake in here. “I have to go out for a bit.” The two of them shared Caleb’s garish monstrosity of a house, something that had already existed on the property when he and his brothers had acquired this piece of land. With more than ten rooms and as many bathrooms, not to mention the entire downstairs, Caleb hadn’t seen a point in telling Jake he’d have to rent a place in town until one of the line cabins opened up. That could easily be years. “Anyway, you feel like having a beer later? I should be back within a couple of hours.” “Yeah, sure.” Jake pulled the laptop back in front of him. “I’ll probably still be in here working. Pop your head in to let me know, and I’ll take a break.” “Will do.” Caleb got the hell out and into his truck. He needed to go on a hunt, and he needed it tonight. The Dastetier demon within wanted food, and Caleb could not ignore him. Chapter Three

Once Caleb made his way up into the mountains -- where he knew no one would see him -- he pulled his truck off the makeshift dirt road and climbed out. Darkness surrounded him, no moon out tonight to guide his way. Didn’t matter. Caleb didn’t need the extra light. Once he made the change, his demon half’s superior senses would give him all the aid he needed for a successful hunt. Disrobing for the distasteful task of making a kill, Caleb closed his eyes and centered himself. He stood nude; the soft breeze floating in the air tickling his flesh and teasing his cock. The fact that such a small movement in the atmosphere could twitch his member to

stirring reminded Caleb that eight months had now passed since he’d had sex. Since hiring Jake, Caleb sometimes felt that his life had actually gotten fuller and busier, not the opposite. When Caleb didn’t have his mind focused on the tour and his bull stock as it traveled around the neighboring states, he found himself wanting to come home, rather than go out trolling for a weekend fucking partner. He felt a need to make sure everyone on his land understood Jake had his full support, and to make himself available to Jake should the man have questions that only Caleb could answer. Caleb missed his family too, and tried to spend as much time with his brothers and their loved ones as he could before he had to go back out on the road again. None of that left a lot of time for hooking up. And lately, as much as Caleb missed having sex, he couldn’t seem to motivate himself to get out in the game the way he used to do. Maybe he was getting old. Caleb laughed out loud, cutting through the silence of the night. Old. He still hadn’t even reached the half stage of his demon life. He had more than three hundred years to go, if he made it the distance. Most of which would be spent alone, as his brothers were now human and would die within a human lifespan. Caleb was happy for Connor and Cain; he didn’t wish demon blood back into either of their bodies so that he could have company, but at the same time, Caleb didn’t like to think about going on without them. Beyond that, he’d have to move away from Quinten eventually and start over somewhere else. He wouldn’t be able to stay in this familiar place that the three of them had turned into a home. At some point, people would notice Caleb’s lack of aging. If he didn’t leave this town some day in the foreseeable future, people would begin to understand that something very different than human blood coursed through his veins. His heart twisting at just imagining going away, Caleb forced down a future that he could not control and got back to the business at hand. He had to have animal flesh tonight; his body ached with how long he’d gone without. Lethargy sat in his muscles, rendering him weaker than he ever liked to feel. He needed to feed the demon, and for a short while, everything would be okay.

Focusing on the being that existed inside him, Caleb controlled his breathing, stilled his entire body, and coaxed forth the change. Everything happened in a matter of seconds. Despite the fact that he’d been making this change forever, Caleb still couldn’t hold in the whimper of pain as the transformation occurred. His spine pushed outward, turning into a bumpy mountain range down the length of his back to his tailbone. His human face rearranged itself to little more than a hard, thin mouth, jutting cheekbones, and a protruding shelf of a forehead that seemed to sink his eyes deep into his face. The twoinch black horns that pushed out of his head from just behind his hairline evoked the sharpest pain of all, slicing stabbing agony behind Caleb’s eyes for the five seconds or so it took them to emerge. His skin tightened all over, tingling with sensitivity. With that, Caleb reverted to his Dastetier demon form, the species of the first beasts. Others in his clan felt such pride in being a part of the original demons, but Caleb only saw it as a curse. Arrogance in what he was had guided his early years, an insensitivity that did terrible damage to innocent victims, acts for which he could never atone. Things Caleb couldn’t bear to look at in himself, even to this day. A light rustling in the brush ahead grabbed Caleb’s attention, pulling him out of his bout of self-pity. A small animal moved under the darkness of cover, and Caleb immediately prowled in the direction of the scent and heat that emanated off its life force, seducing Caleb’s need to feed. As the rusty coat of the fox showed itself and darted for freedom, Caleb dove for the earth and grabbed its neck in his hand. Snapping it quickly, he made a small prayer for forgiveness as he took a life in order to sustain his own. Feeling like the lowest form of animal, Caleb tore through the thin layer of fur and skin to the meaty flesh within, using his bare hands to take the animal apart in the most rudimentary of ways. He forced down the bile that rose in his stomach and pulled off a hunk of flesh, still warm with its last minutes of life, all part of what Caleb needed if he wanted to survive. The blood and protein-rich meat assaulted Caleb’s taste buds, powerful enough to make him gag. He kept chewing to a minimum, as the toughness of the tendons

reminded him even more that he ate the flesh of another almost still living thing. Caleb wished above just about anything that he didn’t have to live this way anymore, that he could rid himself of the demon the way his brothers had both successfully managed to do. Even as he dreamed for that, Caleb no longer believed a woman could or would unconditionally love him, let alone have it happen on a rare full Halloween moon that the ritual to become human required. Just once, he had put his heart in the hands of another, believing that he could let go of his mistakes and have love in his life. Maybe even become human, with the help of the woman he let himself love. Well, thought he loved. Thought she loved him too. Caleb snarled, pushing down the memory of that painful ending, the first sign that a higher power would make sure he suffered for his terrible choices. No, Caleb had eventually understood he would never become human by the means Connor had achieved with Cassie’s love. Fate would see to that. As for the torture Cain had suffered in order to free himself of his Naverto clan, no such ritual existed in Dastetier demon lore that could release Caleb from his beast half. He had searched hard enough, and would have found it by now if it did. Having resigned himself to never becoming human long ago, Caleb forced the rest of the fox’s flesh down his gullet and then buried all evidence of his crime. In his truck, he stored everything he needed in order to clean up after a kill. Using it by rote, he made himself presentable, got dressed, and headed back home. Damn, Caleb looked forward to that beer with Jake. He needed something to help wipe the lingering taste of death from his mouth that no amount of toothpaste could scrub away. ***** Two bottles of beer in hand, Caleb strode into the office and abruptly pulled up short at the sight that met his eyes. Jake had moved to the couch, apparently to get a little more comfortable while he worked. Instead, Jake lay stretched out fast asleep, his glasses still on, the paperwork resting on his stomach, clutched in his hands. So much for sharing a beer.

Chuckling softly, Caleb set the beers down on a bookshelf and moved to Jake’s side. He took a seat on the edge of the coffee table and gingerly worked the pile of papers out of Jake’s curled hands. The man breathed slowly and steadily, his chest rising and falling under a blue button-down shirt, exhaustion clearly having caught up with him. Studying his foreman, Caleb couldn’t help noting the hard lines bracketing his mouth, or the many striations that pulled the outer corners of his eyes beneath the glasses. “I get the feeling you work too damn hard, Jake,” Caleb said, his voice little more than a whisper. “We’re gonna have to figure out a way to put some fun back in your life.” Caleb reached up and carefully removed Jake’s reading glasses. Folding them, he set them down on the coffee table and prepared to leave the guy in the office for the night. The couch had plenty of length and width; Caleb knew because he had crashed on it a number of times himself. Moving down on his knees, Caleb grabbed a blanket out of a basket stored under the table. His sister-in-law Cassie had put it there for him a few years ago, always looking out for him, as she’d done for Cain before he found Luke. Christ, Connor was a lucky man to have her. Hell, Cain was just as lucky to have his husband as Connor was to have his wife. Someone who would love you, no matter what, someone you trusted enough to cut yourself open and reveal your soul, having enough faith that he or she wouldn’t run when he or she saw every bit of ugliness in your heart. Not that Connor or Cain had ever had anything bad inside them that needed hiding. Not like Caleb. Snapping the blanket open over Jake, Caleb settled the soft, dark fabric over the other man’s body. Caleb could do one good thing here. He could find a way to make Jake laugh and smile again, and maybe even draw him out of his shell. It couldn’t make up for Caleb’s past, but maybe it could lighten Jake’s burden some, and that couldn’t be bad. The guy surely needed it. As Caleb’s gaze drifted to Jake’s face once again, the set-in hardness he found there settled in his middle, making it hurt. He lifted his hand

and brushed his knuckles over Jake’s cheekbone, wanting so badly to rub some of that toughness away. He moved down to the man’s hard lips, and rubbed his thumb across the width of the lower one. Jake’s full lip pulled sensuously on the pad of Caleb’s finger, and without even realizing he did it, Caleb started to lean down for a taste. He got within inches, sucked in by the man’s heat, and Caleb suddenly reared back, realizing that he moved in to kiss his foreman. Stumbling backward, he said a silent prayer of thanks that Jake only rolled onto his side, clearly undisturbed by what Caleb had almost done. Damn it. What in the hell was wrong with him? He’d gone too long without a woman; that was what. All the same, Caleb got the hell out…before this strange desire to touch and soothe Jake Chase attacked him again. ***** His eyes drifting closed, Caleb moaned and rolled onto his stomach, pushing his cock into the bed as a soft pair of lips worked their way down his back, peppering gentle kisses along his spine. When that sweet, tantalizing mouth reached the waistband of his sweats, the fabric slowly moved down over the hills of Caleb’s ass to his hips, and the mouth followed slowly behind. It lingered with small bites and licking tastes over his buttocks, down to the ultrasensitive patch of flesh between his ass and thighs. Jesus, Caleb loved having his partners touch him, craved it more than he ever liked to express. That this woman knew his desires without him having to speak them gutted Caleb a little bit, and made him hungry for more. “Suck me, baby.” Caleb rolled over, eager to feel his dick encased in a hot, wet mouth. “Please.” He begged for things he normally wouldn’t, usually thinking only of pleasing his partner, of making sure she got everything her body ached for, and then a little bit more. “Let me come in your mouth.” Moist heat enclosed the tip of his cock and sucked just a little bit, driving Caleb wild. He nudged his hips up and fed more of his length into that suctioning vacuum, groaning with pleasure as his woman ate him the rest of the way on her own, taking his tip to her throat. Caleb

loved getting blowjobs, and this one ranked near the top of any he’d ever had. Digging his hands into hair to hold that mouth deep over his straining penis, Caleb felt short locks under his fingers, not the long tresses of the woman of his fantasies. He snapped his eyes open but could see no face. Pure green eyes shone up at him, though, eyes that Caleb recognized all on their own. Jake Chase. Unable to pull himself fully awake from his dream, Caleb clenched his teeth as something between abject fear and the most acute passion he’d ever felt held him prisoner to the image of another man going down on him. Caleb sank his digits into Jake’s scalp as the man sucked his prick, quickly taking Caleb to the breaking point. Caleb’s balls drew up unbearably tight, and seconds later, in his passion-filled waking dream, he shot hot ejaculate into Jake’s waiting mouth. For the first time in his life -- whether in fantasy or reality -Caleb came because of another man. Not just any man, Caleb realized, as he lay there with his cum sprayed all over his stomach. One man. The first in nearly a hundred and sixty-five years of sexual activity. His goddamned foreman. A man Caleb had brought onto his land. Shit. Using the edge of his sheet to wipe the mess off his belly, Caleb rolled over and prayed this was a one-time thing -- well, a two-time thing if he counted the almost kiss in the office -- and that he would be back to his normal, heterosexually horny self very soon. Caleb’s mind drifted back to Jake sleeping downstairs, and the hard face that had pulled Caleb in for that quick touch to his cheek and lips. That desire to touch had happened while fully awake and conscious, with no excuse of a dream in sight. Another man. Jake. Caleb’s cock jutted a little bit just thinking about him, and he knew the desire was real.

Time to get back on the tour. Time to find a woman too. Fast. Chapter Four

Jake moved in next to where Risa Boone stood with her hip settled against the porch railing of Connor and Cassie Hawkins’s ranch home. Putting his mouth next to the redhead’s ear, he whispered, “Penny for your thoughts?” and snapped her out of her trancelike stare at the crowd of people dancing in the front yard. It was her brother Luke’s birthday; Cassie was Luke’s best friend, and she had talked Cain into letting her throw Luke a huge, informal party, welcoming all the employees of Hawkins Ranch to enjoy a barbecue and some dancing. “Jake!” Risa gave him a quick hug, sharing a familiar easiness of affection. Arching an eyebrow at him, she shifted her attention back to the jovial crowd. “I’m gonna need more than a penny payment to share what a damn big kick I get out of watching my husband dance with our daughter.” Jake followed Risa’s focus, spotting the tall frame of Duke Boone at the edge of the dancers. He held a gangly blond girl of about fourteen years in his arms, twirling her off the ground as if she were still five years old. The girl didn’t seem to mind right now, but Jake had a feeling in a few years she’d want nothing to do with dancing with her protective father, the sheriff. “Marriage and motherhood look good on you, Risa,” Jake said, his voice a little rough. God, he couldn’t help wondering what would have been if Krista hadn’t died so suddenly. He took a determined breath and kept the morose thoughts that wanted to invade him away. “Don’t look darn near old enough to have two teenagers.” They both chuckled at the small tease. Risa and Duke had adopted their two children, Ty and Ruby. With Risa considerably younger than Duke -twenty-seven to his forty-seven -- she certainly had not birthed her kids herself. Didn’t matter. The love she so clearly felt for them more than made up for it, and Jake personally thought Duke looked younger and happier every time he saw the man. He figured that must be what

happened when you let go of your past and opened yourself up to someone new. On rare days, Jake wondered if he could let go of Krista. Debilitating pain would immediately take him over when he had even the fleeting thought, and Jake knew the answer was no. Six years without his wife hadn’t dimmed the love he felt for her at all. He took consolation in his new job. Working for Caleb -- and the other Hawkins brothers -kept Jake so damn busy that by the time he hit the bed, he slept like a log until the alarm clock woke him up the next morning. Exhaustion kept the dreams away, and for that, Jake would forever owe a debt of gratitude to Caleb. Spotting Caleb talking with a pretty blonde thirty feet away, Jake got a good look at the guy for the first time in nearly five weeks. Smiling, a beer in his hand, Caleb had the woman laughing like a schoolgirl. Even from this distance, Jake could see the twinkling of genuine good spirits shining in Caleb’s blue, blue eyes. That winning personality made people flock to him, and soon, the man had two more women staring up at him with adoring eyes. The guy knew how to laugh; that was for damn sure, but every once in a while, Jake thought he caught a hint of darkness deepen those eyes to sapphires, hinting at something troubling beneath the glint. Not that Jake had very many opportunities to quietly look and question. Last time Caleb came home with plans to stay for a few days, Jake had woken up on the couch in the office that next morning and found a note on the desk: You’re doing a great job. Keep up the good work. No Caleb on the property. Gone, just as quickly as he’d arrived. Jake figured Caleb had hired him so that he could do exactly that -- come and go as he pleased -- but Jake had been looking forward to that beer and talking with Caleb a bit more about the stock and the land. He wanted to get Caleb’s opinion just as much, if not more so, than those of the other brothers. Caleb hired him. Jake needed to keep Caleb happy. He needed to, because, already, Jake didn’t want to leave this job.

The backbreaking work and dealing with the cowboys kept the dreams away. Jake desperately needed that, more than anything else in his life. “Now I’ll say penny for your thoughts.” Risa nudged Jake with her shoulder, none too gently. The woman had power in her tall, muscular frame. “Although I think yours are worth a lot more than that too.” “I’m okay,” Jake promised. Risa knew a little bit about his wife. Over the years they had crossed paths on the tour, she had somehow coaxed the information out of him just by being herself. He didn’t have to put on too much of a façade with her, which he appreciated, as it became damn tiring wearing a mask to cover his thoughts all of the time. Jake’s gaze slipped to Caleb again -- and to his growing entourage. “I was just wondering if Caleb planned on sticking around for more than Luke’s party, or if he’s leaving again come the morning. I had a lot of opportunities to talk with him those first few months, but lately he hasn’t shown his face enough for me to say much of anything, let alone get into anything detailed about the work.” “The tour is going east, and then south, after next weekend,” Risa shared. “I can tell you that much.” This meant the rodeo wouldn’t use Caleb’s stock. The PBR kept its animal work regional, so as not to put stress on the bulls with extensive traveling schedules. “I haven’t heard him say anything about taking that time to visit other contractors or vendors, so unless he’s out with a woman, I don’t see any reason why he wouldn’t be home for a decent stretch.” “He might be gathering a few women to keep him company as we speak.” Jake nodded his head in Caleb’s direction, allowing Risa’s gaze to follow. “Don’t think so.” Risa shook her head. “He’s just being friendly. Oops, see? There flocks another admirer.” She rolled her eyes and laughed as her daughter ran up to Caleb, pushed her way through the crowd, and took his hand. “Ruby has had a crush on him for years. Thank God he knows just how to handle it without breaking her little heart.” Jake watched as Caleb led the infatuated Ruby into the crowd of dancers, leaving the small group of adult women behind. He set the girl a respectable distance away from him, and began a simple twostep with her, smiling and nodding as she talked a mile a minute. Jake

felt an answering grin lift the edge of his mouth, and a warmth he hadn’t experienced in years spread through his middle. Jake understood that he had landed himself with a great group of people. If he couldn’t exactly find a way to feel real happiness anymore, he still liked seeing the faces of other folks who could. Risa squeezed Jake’s shoulder, and left him standing by himself. Walking down into the yard, she grabbed her big husband into her arms, a place the man obviously wanted to be. Within the crowd, Jake saw his two other employers dancing too, each with their respective spouses. No one seemed to care that two men danced so lovingly together; in fact, Cain and Luke weren’t the only ones doing it. The sheriff’s oldest son, Ren, danced with his partner, Cade, a man who also happened to be one of the sheriff’s most trusted deputies. Jake couldn’t exactly say that twenty years ago he would have found himself comfortable with the situation, but he hadn’t been deeply in love and then lost someone back then either. In those days, he couldn’t have understood the desire to hold tight to that which is most important, no matter what others might think. Jake found his attention slipping back to Caleb, and when it did, blue eyes caught his and held. Unable to look away for long seconds that felt like an eternity, heat infused Jake’s skin under his clothes, setting his flesh on fire. He took in rich, dark hair; a wide, sensuous mouth; and shoulders and arms strong enough to hold someone tight in their grasp, never letting them go. Jake’s breathing changed from steady to a little choppy, and his mouth turned to cotton. Good God, he’s beautiful. What the hell? I can’t think that for another man. For my boss. No. No way. Jake tore his gaze away and started walking, needing to get away. He had to move and gather himself because, holy fuck, he knew what he had experienced back there for that split second while trapped in the sea of Caleb’s eyes. Nervous attraction. Sexual desire.

No. Fucking. Way. Jake got the hell out. Fast. ***** Freshly home from his last round of touring with his stock, Caleb poked his head in the horse stable and found one of his guys, Jasper, mucking stalls with another hand. “Hey, Jas” -- Caleb didn’t move into the building -- “can you help Jason and Scott unload the stock and get them settled? Oh, hey --” A dark-haired man working next to Jasper lifted his head, and his face registered in Caleb’s mind. “Gabriel, right?” He knew Jake had hired the man, but given the fact that Caleb had been busy at first, and then avoided the property like the plague, he hadn’t worked with the guy enough to become familiar. “From the diner?” Jasper moved past Caleb to do his bidding, and Gabriel walked until he stood in front of Caleb. “Yes, sir.” Gabriel pulled off his gloves and shook Caleb’s hand. “Thank you for giving Jake the freedom to hire me. It’s working out great.” “Got your girlfriend with you yet?” Caleb asked. “Not yet. I’ll bring her out as soon as we can afford it.” “Sounds levelheaded.” Caleb clapped the young man on the arm. “I like that quality in my employees. Speaking of levelheaded cowboys, can you tell me where to find Jake?” Caleb would be home for a while, so he couldn’t see putting off the inevitable indefinitely. Better to get that first awkward meeting out of the way. Caleb needed to get back to the relationship he had been trying to build with Jake before that first fantasy had snaked its way into his subconscious. Even worse, to Caleb’s way of thinking, was what had happened the night of Luke’s party. Jake had caught Caleb outright staring. Watching. With lust front and center in my thoughts. Surely Jake had read the desire -- for him! -- in Caleb. Otherwise, Caleb could find no explanation for why the man had run from the party and then refused to make eye contact for the two days Caleb had remained in Quinten.

Gabriel’s response drew Caleb out of his disturbing thoughts. “Jake is out rounding up the stray cattle that got through a fence on the north end of the property. A bad storm knocked a lot of it down last night.” “All right, thanks for the info.” Caleb could have used a walkie-talkie to get Jake’s exact location, but something about doing that over a line where others could hear him felt strangely intrusive, when he knew in actuality no one would think twice about him requesting Jake’s position. “I’ll go see if I can lend a hand.” He moved to saddle a horse, and Gabriel went back to cleaning the farthest stall. A half hour later, Caleb passed by a roped-off temporary holding pen, finding a decent number of cattle already milling within the confines of the simple corral. Knowing he moved in the right direction by a groove cut into the wet earth, Caleb followed the trail, cut across a shallow area of Willow Stream, and then moved up into the denser, tree-laden mountain land. Within fifteen minutes, Caleb came upon Jake working with Ren, Risa, and Hank. They circled and drove a heard of about fifteen cattle in the direction from which Caleb had just come. Caleb’s gaze touched on Jake first, finding it impossible to pull away from the surprise and maybe the spark of pleasure too. He couldn’t be sure. Just looking at Jake, after so long apart, rushed a confusion of need and an aching desire to touch the man in the most explicit, intimate ways. Raw, soul-baring ways in which Caleb had never coupled with another person before. Man or woman. Caleb managed to discreetly clear his throat, and lift his hand in a small wave. He said, “Hey,” “How’s it going?” and “Good to be home,” to the greetings of Hank, Ren, and Risa. To Jake, Caleb forced out of his head every ounce of misplaced attraction, and asked, “Is this the last of them?” He even jerked his head in the direction of the cattle, as if he only cared about his stock, and not the fact that Jake somehow looked fucking sexy covered in mud to the knee, with more splatters the rest of the way up his body, dotting his faded black shirt. Damn it. Caleb was not gay. He’d never felt sexual attraction for a man before. What in the hell made him keep looking at Jake, and thinking shit like that?

“Do you need more help?” he added, covering by glancing up at the quickly darkening sky. “Looks like more rain is on the way.” Jake shook his head. “I’m gonna make one more pass through the area, but head count says we found all but one. A calf.” Understood without needing it said: a wild animal probably got the little one and dragged it away. Caleb couldn’t feel incensed about the loss, not without being a hypocrite. Just because he didn’t kill and feed on his own animals didn’t mean he begrudged others on the food chain their right to eat. Also didn’t mean he wouldn’t look and try to get the calf back, just in case. After all, it was his stock. Caleb finally managed to drag his stare off Jake. “Listen,” he addressed the others, “you three go ahead and get these guys with the others, and then drive them to a secure pasture until we get all these fences fixed. Jake and I will take one more look for the calf, and then we’ll catch up and help. All right?” Ren, Risa, and Hank repositioned themselves to account for Jake’s spot, and started moving the small herd again. Without words, Jake and Caleb swung and rode in the opposite direction. Caleb let Jake take the lead, as the man knew which areas he’d already searched. As they climbed a good ways up into the mountains Caleb kept his eyes peeled for his calf, but allowed his head to configure and toss out thought after thought about what he should say to Jake to help get back that old comfort they’d shared those first months after hiring him. On the one hand, Caleb couldn’t just out-and-out say “I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable with my staring. I haven’t ever had this particular problem before.” Then again, he couldn’t pretend they didn’t have a little bit of awkwardness between them right now. Tension sat in the air, thicker than the heaviest fog, as the minutes they rode in silence stretched and added up. Caleb knew Jake sensed it just as much as he did. Not the attraction -- thank God -- but simply that something between them had changed. Fucking hell. Caleb had never acted the coward before. He needed to just man up and get this done. “Listen, Jake, we need to talk.”

Jake whipped his head around, fire burning in his eyes. “No, we don’t.” “Yes, we do.” Caleb shifted in the saddle, facing Jake like a man. “I need to apologize --” “No, it was my fault.” “What?” Just then, the crack of gunfire ripped through the overcast sky. “Aahhh!” White-hot pain shot through Caleb’s back and spread quickly throughout his body. Another plug of fire tore through his flesh, higher on his back, and the momentum of the second bullet hitting him drove Caleb from his horse to the ground. “Caleb! Caleb!” Jake flew off his mount and grabbed Caleb, rolling him over onto his stomach. “Oh shit, Caleb.” Scooting on his butt, Jake started dragging Caleb across the muddy ground. “You’ve been shot. Help me, damn it. I need to get us under some cover. Fuck. Who in the hell would be shooting up here?” “Don’t know.” Caleb helped as best he could, but his entire back throbbed under the burning heat, as if his flesh were one giant heartbeat. He’d been gored by bulls a few times in his life, and had taken a beating a time or two, but he’d somehow managed to avoid bullet wounds. Until now. Damn it. Sons of bitches hurt. Jake got them under some bramble and up against a tree. Laying Caleb’s head on his thighs, Jake grabbed for his walkie-talkie. “Hold tight. I think we’re too far away for anyone to have heard the shots. I’m gonna have the ranch call 911 and get us some help for you.” “No!” Caleb reached out with amazing speed and grabbed Jake’s hand on the walkie-talkie. Forcing it away from Jake’s lips, Caleb said, “I don’t need emergency help. I just need to get back to the ranch. My brothers can stitch me up from there.” “Don’t be an asshole hero.” Jake yanked his hand out from under Caleb’s and put the radio back to his mouth. “You have fucking bullets in your back. Your brothers can’t help you.”

Panic set in, right there in front of Jake. Caleb knocked the walkietalkie out of Jake’s hand with every bit of strength left in him, and sent it flying out of Jake’s immediate reach. “No.” “You listen to me, you son of a bitch.” Jake stretched his arm to reach for the radio. “I’ve already had one person die in my arms; I won’t have it happen again.” His wife. Jesus Christ. Caleb had no idea. Still, he couldn’t let Jake take him into town. Grabbing at the front of Jake’s shirt, he pulled the man’s face down close to his. Seeing Jake’s wide, dilated eyes -- fear of another death in his arms clearly overtaking him -- tore Caleb in two. The raw emotion that the guy could not hide pulled a terrible confession out of Caleb, one he swore never in his life to make to a human. “I won’t die, Jake, I promise.” Caleb’s chest constricted, choking him with something other than the pain radiating from the holes in his back. “Connor and Cain need to be the ones to sew me back up.” His fingers clutched reflexively in Jake’s shirt, and fear of Jake’s disgust stripped his voice to almost nothing. Still, Caleb had to say it. “If they don’t, the hospital will discover that I’m not human.” Chapter Five

Jake wanted to punch Caleb in the mouth. “You’re not fucking superman, you jerk.” He reached over Caleb and tried to grab the walkie-talkie, adding, “I’m damn sick of people thinking nothing’s wrong when I damn well know there is.” “Look at me.” Caleb grabbed Jake’s head in his hands, and forced his focus down. Pain burned in Caleb’s gaze; Jake recognized the glassiness. But the fingers digging into his scalp, holding him prisoner, coursed with strength. Caleb said, “I’m gonna show you something I haven’t let another human see for over a hundred and fifty years.” “A hundred and fifty years?” God, the man was already delirious. “Caleb, let me get you… What the hell?” Shock, horror, abject fear halted whatever else Jake might have said. He watched, unable to

believe what he witnessed with his own two eyes. Caleb cried out, sharp and high. Just as he did, his face changed, reworking itself somehow, sharp angles in some places, but with a heavy forehead that spoke of the Neanderthal species from over a hundred thousand years ago. Devil horns grew from his head, something from right out of a gothic rendition of a demon. Against the side of Jake’s leg, a hard line of something pushed against his thigh, a formation attached to Caleb’s back, still hidden under his shirt. As fast as Jake took it all in, paralyzed with speechlessness, everything disappeared, and once again, only Caleb remained. “Wh-what the hell?” Jake’s mouth hung open, and then snapped closed. But, holy mother of God, he did not see what he thought he just saw. The devil. A beast. An animal. Shit. What the fuck? He’s not human. “Wh-what?” “Now you see.” Caleb spoke, but his voice barely registered as sound. Jake knew the man’s pain quickly drained his energy. His hands fell to his sides, listless. “If you take me to a hospital, the anomalies in my blood will be discovered. Within days, I will surely be grabbed up and taken somewhere so that I can be poked, prodded, and studied, as if I had no soul or feelings at all. I will become a freak, and my life will be over. Just take me home, Jake, and let my brothers take care of me. Please.” Caleb radiated fear and pain, the weight of which hit Jake so hard, it snapped him out of his temporary shock. He realized he couldn’t focus on what Caleb had just shown him; he just knew he couldn’t have another death on his conscience. This being -- whatever he was - needed Jake’s assistance, and fast. “Can you get to the horse with my help?” he asked, as ideas and plans raced through his mind. “I can radio the office and tell them to have Connor and Cain waiting at the house, or maybe I’ll instruct them to meet us as close as they can with a truck. I don’t have to tell anyone why I want them to come. Will that be okay?” His chest lifting with an unsteady breath, Caleb said, “Thank you, Jake. I owe you.”

“Hang on until your brothers can help you.” Jake very carefully shifted Caleb forward, and slipped his arm around his waist. “I don’t need any more thanks than that.” Holding Caleb around the stomach, Jake used his boot and slid the walkie-talkie back to his side. Unfortunately, it came back in multiple pieces. “Shit. You knocked it out of my hand so hard you broke the damn thing.” Caleb chuckled, but it turned into a cough. “See? I really didn’t want you to call.” “Don’t be a smart-ass,” Jake barked, fear pushing through his ability to remain cool. For God’s sake, he had a man who clearly wasn’t a man, bleeding profusely from two bullet holes in his back. “Don’t make jokes. Not about your life. Never about your life.” “Sorry.” Remorse filled Caleb’s gaze, and Jake knew he had shamed the man by letting too much of his own personal tragedy slip through his words. “I didn’t mean to be flip.” Jake nodded, the action clipped and tight. “It’s okay. Do you have your cell phone on you?” Caleb reached for his pocket, but almost immediately pulled back, empty-handed. “It’s still on the seat of my truck, where I threw it for the drive back from Wyoming.” “Okay, so we’re gonna have to ride. Can you do it?” Caleb’s mouth tightened and went very pale, but gave a small nod. It didn’t look like he could manage much more than that. Jake got Caleb upright, but after feeling the blood saturating Caleb’s shirt, briefly revised his plan. As gingerly as he could, he leaned Caleb against the tree instead. “We need to try and stanch the flow of blood. I don’t want you to bleed out before we get back. I’m gonna take off your shirt, okay?” “’Kay.” Wary eyes met Jake’s, and he wondered if something beneath the clothing would give him away as less than human. Something Caleb didn’t want Jake to see. Holy fuck, what the hell more could exist beyond what Caleb had just shown him? And what was that

thing he’d shifted into before Jake’s eyes anyway? Before Jake could let the insanity of what he’d just witnessed sink in, Caleb lifted his fingers and started undoing the buttons on his shirt himself. Instantly pulled out of his curiosity, Jake started pulling at the snaps of his own shirt too. Caleb’s eyes widened, and Jake explained. “We’ll place your shirt against the wounds, and use mine to tie around your torso, hopefully hold everything in place until we get back.” “Right.” They worked in silence for a minute, Jake removing his shirt and tearing it up the back, creating two long strips when the length of one arm with each piece was factored in. Jake finished and had the ends tucked in the waistband of his jeans so that he could grab them quickly when needed, in the same amount of time it took Caleb to pull his shirt out of his jeans and unbutton it. Any motion that shifted the muscles on Caleb’s back clearly set off a sharp stab of renewed pain, so Jake stepped in and covered Caleb’s hands, stilling them. “Here, let me.” Feeling that uncomfortable breathlessness he’d experienced at Luke’s party, Jake moved to push off Caleb’s shirt anyway. When he did, his hand brushed Caleb’s chest, shocking him with its hardness and heat. At the exact same moment, Caleb sucked in a breath, and then let out a small hiss. Oh God, I’m hurting him even more. Jake hated seeing this man injured, hated even more that Caleb’s discomfort seemed to transfer into Jake and create an answering pain low in his gut. “Sorry. I’m doing my best not to cause more damage.” Quickly and efficiently, Jake drew Caleb’s shirt down his arms, and turned him around so that he could get a look at his back. Thick, almost-black blood flowed from two points, one just a few inches below his shoulder, and the other a few inches lower and more centered. Enough blood had already flowed to smear Caleb’s back in a sea of varying shades of crimson, but Jake could see the darker circles where the bullets had hit. His heart seized as he looked. Damn it, he was surprised the second one hadn’t pierced a lung. Quickly moving into action, Jake tore Caleb’s shirt too, folding one piece and pressing it against the lower wound first. He felt the gasp of breath fill Caleb as

he pushed, but he couldn't let up. Holding the fabric with one hand, Jake pulled one half of his shirt out of his waistband, pressed the center point over it, and circled around to Caleb’s front. He grabbed one end of his ripped shirt and made Caleb hold it, got the other himself, and knotted it tight, probably too tight, against Caleb’s chest. Jake repeated the process a second time, only this time going under Caleb’s arms up to his pits as high as he could, and then tying the tourniquet in a double knot, making Caleb wince again with the snug fit. It ate at Jake to see Caleb in pain, but he couldn't do anything to lessen the hurt. “All right.” Sliding his arm around Caleb’s waist, Jake started the man moving toward the horses. “Let’s get you home.” His lips and face so pale Jake almost wouldn’t have recognized him, Caleb barely managed a nod. He didn’t say another word the entire ride back, propped in front of Jake as they rode double to the house. At about the halfway point, Caleb slumped back against Jake’s chest, finally losing consciousness as the pain obviously overtook him. “Hold on, Hawkins.” Jake tugged Caleb close to his chest and tried to use his wider shoulders as a barrier to the man sliding off the horse. “Please. We’re almost there.” Goddamnit, Jake would not have another person die in his arms. ***** “Why, Caleb, why?” The wavering feminine voice reached into Caleb’s mind, tormenting him with its pain. Opening his eyes, a pale, ethereal face surrounded by inky tresses floated across his gaze. Eyes the rarest of deep violet hues took up the entirety of the young woman’s face. The hurt, brimming tears in her eyes, narrowed to hard, dark stones of accusation, and the heart-shaped, red-painted lips twisted in a sneer. “You did this, Caleb. You did this to me.” “I know, I know.” Frantic, Caleb tried to grab the woman’s hand, tried to pull her to him, but she sidled out of his reach. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I loved you.” The girl’s voice cracked. “You told me you loved me too.” “I know I did. And I do --” “No you don’t.” Her beautiful, elfin face turned hard. “You tricked me to get what you wanted.” “I’m sorry if I hurt you.” He reached for her. “Let me help --” She batted his hand away with surprising strength. “You say that a lot,” she answered, knowledge of his wickedness shining in her eyes. “Too much, too easily. You must pay.” “I know.” Grasping for the girl’s hand, it slipped so easily from his strong grasp. As she fell backward, she whispered, “You killed me…” “Noooo!” Caleb rushed forward, screaming down the entire house. “Daphneee!” “Caleb! Caleb!” Strong hands dug into Caleb’s shoulders, throwing him forward, into a different kind of pain. “Wake up, damn it. You’re having a nightmare.” Caleb bolted upright, wheezing as he drew deep breaths of air into his lungs. As he did, shooting lines of fire snaked down his back, and then throughout his body, stealing away the pain he’d suffered in his dream and replacing it with a physical one -- one he at least had some hope of recovering from. Looking up, Caleb recognized the familiar dark eyes of his oldest brother, set in a hard, strong face that meant more to him than any member of his family that actually shared his blood. The lack of a true genetic connection between he and his brothers didn’t matter to Caleb one damn bit. They were his kin, and DNA be damned. Shifting his focus beyond where Connor stood, he saw Cain in the background too, worry filling his eyes, almost the exact color of blue as his own.

Next to him stood Jake. Caleb remembered those arms holding him upright on the trek to the house, the solid wall of muscle at his back. He vividly recalled the words that penetrated the fog of pain clouding his brain too, filled with such desperation it drove Caleb to stay alive. “Hold on,” and then “Please.” The plea from Jake held a world of need that Caleb could not ignore, even if in that moment he couldn’t make himself wake up and reassure Jake that he would live. Caleb knew in that moment he had to hold on. For more than himself. For more than his brothers and makeshift family. He needed to, for Jake. He couldn’t slip away in that man’s arms. Not on that horse. Not like that. Brushing the perspiration from his face -- and the lingering effects of that dream -- Caleb said, “I’m all right. I’ll live.” He spoke the words to assure his brothers, but he looked at Jake as he shared, holding his gaze in the shadows of his bedroom. “Just like I told you.” Caleb watched a thick swallow bob the Adam’s apple on the tan column of Jake’s throat. “I just needed to see it for myself,” he answered. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll leave you to your recovery.” Jake dipped his dark head, and slipped out of the bedroom. Christ, Caleb didn’t know what to think, or do. He’d had a difficult time reading Jake’s eyes just then, and so had no idea what his foreman thought about his boss not being human. At least he hadn’t gone screaming and left Caleb to bleed out into the dirt. He obviously cared enough to help him get home, and then stay until he opened his eyes. That had to mean something. Caleb just didn’t know what. Wait, yes he did. A different kind of hurt settled in Caleb’s chest as he remembered, constricting his throat. Clearly, Jake’s wife had died in his arms, and the act had traumatized him deeply. Jake obviously couldn’t bear to have it happen again. Not on his watch. Those were the feelings that prompted Jake’s quick assistance, not some deeper sense of caring about Caleb as a person. As a fellow human being. Because Caleb wasn’t human. Connor cleared his throat -- loudly -- and snapped Caleb’s gaze away from his closed door.

“What?” Caleb rubbed his forehead as a hell of a headache started stabbing at him right above his brow line. “Do you want to tell me who in the hell could possibly have taken two shots at you today?” Connor’s voice registered very, very low, the effect of pushing down his volatile temper. “I need to know who the fuck I have to go kill before I can go home to my wife and kids.” Caleb shook his head and immediately wished he hadn’t. Dizziness and nausea sat right behind the dull ache in his head, making him fight down the need to retch up his last meal. “Don’t know.” His voice came out raspy. “I haven’t pissed anyone off in a long time. I’ve been so damn busy since we acquired this land I haven’t had time to cause trouble; you know that.” Cain sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes full to brimming with concern and brotherly love. “That makes me even more scared. We can’t fight something we can’t see. I don’t like not knowing where we stand.” Caleb squeezed his brother’s arm, and then rubbed it to soothe. “We stand fine. I don’t know what happened, but if the person who shot me wanted me dead, he could have finished me off today. He could have taken down Jake and rendered me completely helpless. He could have moved right in, plugged me full of bullets, and left me there to rot. But he didn’t. Hell, he might have been going for Jake, and I got in the way.” As soon as he said it, Caleb knew he didn’t want to believe that. He’d rather think someone was after him, than Jake. If his brothers could get to him in time, Caleb could survive just about anything. The thought of losing Jake… Jesus, Caleb didn’t like the squeezing that fisted his chest over that thought. Not one damn little bit. “I don’t think what happened was anything we need to worry about,” he finally said. “How can you say that!” Connor thundered. “Someone shot you.” “And didn’t bother sticking around to finish me off!” Caleb got just as loud as his brother and then groaned as his head pounded in punishment. Holding it to ease the throbbing, he said, “Look, I don’t think it was anything to worry about. It was either an accident or a

cruel prank, but not someone who had a goal to actually kill either Jake or me. I’m not going to live my life looking over my shoulder. Feel free to go investigate the area, but you aren’t going to find anything.” “Oh, you can bet your ass I’m going to take a look,” Connor said. His already dark eyes neared pitch black. “Good luck.” Caleb shrugged, wincing again at the small movement. Damn, he would recover fully in less than a week, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell while it happened. Rapid regeneration was the one thing Caleb embraced about being demon. Well, that, and an ability to get hard pretty much whenever he wanted, over and over again. Grimacing, his thoughts turned right in the direction of one person. “Ask Jake about it,” he said, speaking the very man’s name aloud. “He’ll show you where the shooting happened.” “What about Jake?” Cain asked. “He said he knows you aren’t human. He said you showed him what you are.” “Had to.” Connor snorted. “You never ‘have to’ do anything, brother. No one backs you into a corner that you can’t dance your way out of with a shitload of double-talk. Before they know it, you haven’t told them anything, but they think they got exactly what they wanted. Why didn’t you do that with Jake?” His skin tingling under the scrutiny of his brothers pushed Caleb into feeling cornered, with no way out. “I had to,” he said again, his voice hardening this time. “Somebody had just shot me, and it damn well hurt like a son of a bitch. I wasn’t thinking clearly enough to come up with a slick story.” I didn’t want to tell Jake a lie, either, whispered brutally in Caleb’s head. “Jake wanted to radio and bring police, EMTs, firemen, who the hell knows, right to our location.” Caleb opened his mouth to speak of Jake’s panic about losing his wife in his arms. Before the first word left his lips, Caleb shoved the story back down inside. He didn’t want his brothers to know the specifics of Jake’s private pain; he knew the man would not appreciate anyone

knowing that little hint of weakness living inside him. Probably even Caleb. “I went with my gut and believed I could trust him. I don’t think he’ll prove me wrong.” Connor’s dark focus shifted to the door. “Let’s hope so,” he said. That was the man’s natural protector instincts kicking in on his sibling’s behalf; Caleb knew it. Cain’s gaze drifted that way too, as if they both could see Jake through the wood. “He wouldn’t have helped me hold Caleb down while you dug out those bullets if he had plans to throw Caleb to the wolves. He wouldn’t have hung in here with us all that time waiting for Caleb to open his eyes, if he intended to do him harm. I think we’re okay. We’ll just have to watch and make sure he doesn’t make any suspicious moves.” “Yeah.” Connor nodded. “We’ll do that.” “No, you won’t.” Caleb surprised himself with the force in his voice, and then quickly prayed that it didn’t come across as anything out of line. “You’ll leave him alone to do his job, because up to this point he has proven himself not only completely trustworthy, but also a damn good foreman. I don’t want to lose Jake due to you both giving him the stink eye every time he looks up from his job. Now leave me alone” -- Caleb gingerly rolled to his other side, groaning at the tightness of stitches pulling at his flesh -- “before I start wishing he’d just left me out there to die.” ***** Jake rolled over in bed, sleep eluding him. His eyes were scratchy with the grit of exhaustion, but his damn brain would not shut down and allow him to rest. He knew why too. Three rooms over lay a man who was not a man, but at the same time had shown Jake true humanity in offering him a job that slowly began to make Jake feel alive again. Curiosity that he had no right to feel kept Jake awake, as did the fact that he knew Caleb was alone in his room. Jake had heard Cain and Connor leave about an hour ago and figured that must mean Caleb had already begun his recovery process.

And what about that recovery process? What the hell was he supposed to think about what Caleb had shown him today -- albeit for less than a minute? Jake hadn’t for one second in his life believed that shit like aliens, vampires, or shape-shifters really existed. He’d always brushed off the concept of people walking around on this earth who looked human but really weren’t as a bunch of crap for weak-minded individuals. Now, Jake didn’t even know if Caleb was from this planet. “Yeah, right.” He chuckled derisively, although his throat tightened uncomfortably. Jake didn’t know how he could even have a thought like that, let alone contemplate asking it of a man who had been nothing but kind and good to him. Jake chuckled again, although the sound grated. And here I thought my greatest fear with Caleb Hawkins would be that I can’t seem to keep my eyes off him when we’re in the same room together. Well, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about that bizarre tendency to stare, for a little while at least. With the guy lying in bed recovering from two bullets piercing his back… Jake squeezed his hands into fists as his thoughts turned to beating to a bloody pulp the faceless attacker who had hurt Caleb. Everything in Jake wanted to file a police report on Caleb’s behalf, but every time he thought about going against Caleb’s wishes he’d see the fear and hurt in Caleb’s eyes as he’d said, “I will become a freak, and my life will be over,” and he resisted the urge. Jake growled. Whatever Caleb Hawkins was, he wasn’t a freak, and he didn’t deserve to have this life he’d created for himself taken away. Right now, he was just a few rooms away, suffering and in pain. And he was alone. Maybe he needed someone to check on him. Moreover, maybe if Jake was the one to do it, and assured himself that Caleb truly was all right, he would be able to get some much-needed sleep himself. Yeah, I should do that. Just peek in on him and make sure he’s okay. That decided, Jake crawled out of bed and moved down the darkened hallway to Caleb’s room. Pressing his ear to the closed door, silence reigned within. Satisfied that Caleb slept peacefully, Jake stepped away to head back to bed. As he did, the sound of shattering glass from inside Caleb’s room hit Jake’s ears. Without thought, he threw open the door and rushed to a thrashing Caleb’s side, just barely

sidestepping shards of glass mixed in a puddle of water on the floor. Mindful of the broken carafe and his bare feet, Jake reached out and wrapped his hand around Caleb’s forearm. “Caleb --” “Please, no…” The agony in Caleb’s voice reached all the way inside Jake’s chest and sliced an answering pain right through his heart. Then, in one second, Jake went from having his hand around Caleb’s arm, to Caleb grabbing him with incredible speed and force. Caleb lunged up and wrapped his arms around Jake’s torso in a powerful vise, then dragged Jake down to the bed and under the weight of his burning hot -- oh God -- honed-to-perfection body. Caleb’s eyes snapped open, the wildness swirling with the colors of the ocean. “Please, Daphne” -- he looked and ran his hands over Jake’s face, his fingers frantic and trembling, staring and touching, as if he didn’t see Jake at all -- “don’t jump.” Chapter Six

“Caleb! Caleb! Wake up right now!” A hard, sharp voice yanked Caleb out of the most wonderful dream -one where he’d finally saved Daphne -- and hurled him back into the real world. Into a reality where he held another man under him on his bed, and rubbed his groin into a hard length of male thigh. Caleb touched the square angle of Jake’s stubbly jaw with the tips of his fingers, and had his face so close to Jake’s his jerky breaths washed over Jake’s lips, their foreheads almost touching. Jake. Good Christ, he had Jake pinned under him. Mortified, Caleb lifted his weight off Jake and rolled to his side. “I apologize. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He barely felt the pain in his back now; the burn of embarrassment coated him instead, along with the secret knowledge that the half wood he sported in his sweats was not for any young woman in his past. His erection had sprung when he’d woken up and realized he had Jake beneath him.

Caleb watched out of the corner of his eye as Jake moved to smooth the lines of his shirt, only to realize he did not wear one. Jake’s hands curled into fists instead, and Caleb quickly averted his gaze before he started noticing the sculpted muscles cording Jake’s arms, or the rips lining his taut stomach. Christ. Jake cleared his throat. “Apparently you were thinking about someone named Daphne, and how you didn’t want her to jump. Whatever that means.” Those words took care of Caleb’s boner, softening his cock like a splash of freezing cold water. “Doesn’t mean anything.” He folded his arm under his head and affected a breezy smile, ignoring the discomfort of the stitches pulling on his back. “Just a weird, paininduced dream.” Fuck, he could never let Jake know about Daphne. Or learn about the other girls, and then the many women who came later. It would disgust him. “I can’t even remember it now.” Jake moved across Caleb’s bedroom to his bathroom. Disappearing inside, he called out, “Seemed pretty intense. If you ask me, I would have sworn she was a real person.” “Well, that’s how we demons are.” Caleb went right for the sensationalistic. “Intense.” “We?” Jake asked, his voice muffled from the bathroom. “Does that mean there are more of you? Are your brothers demons too?” “Not anymore,” Caleb answered, and didn’t quite keep the envy out of his tone. Something about this man pushed him to say and do things he never had trouble controlling with anyone else. “They’re human now.” “Shit.” Jake reappeared with a stack of towels in his hands. “How did they manage that?” “Long stories,” Caleb answered. Christ, he felt like crap and wasn’t in the mood to replay the history of something he could never have himself. “Maybe another time. Suffice it to say, I’m the only demon boss you have.”

“Is that really what you are? A demon is a fallen angel, right? So you’re one of them?” Caleb barked with a shout of laughter. Inside though, relief washed over him swiftly enough to make his head swim. “No. We were around well before the first religions ever existed and began to paint us as something otherworldly and evil. We don’t have anything to do with Christ, or God, or heaven, or hell. The word demon has taken on a different connotation in the last few thousand years, but what I am is more what most people would call a shape-shifter these days. Our genetic makeup requires that we shift into our other bodies on a regular basis, but other than demon pride, there is nothing more sinister to most of us than that. There are many species of demons and shifters, and we’ve been in existence practically forever.” “Does that mean you have existed forever?” Jake mopped up the water Caleb had knocked to the floor. The kindness Caleb so often witnessed in this man, seemingly done without conscious thought, stabbed at him even sharper than Jake’s calm reaction to seeing Caleb’s other half earlier in the day. This was not making a life or death choice to aid another sentient being; this was companion-like. Jake looked up from his task and connected with Caleb’s gaze, jerking Caleb out of his thoughts. Jesus, the man had caught him staring again. “Sorry.” Caleb shook his head, trying with everything in him to dislodge his inappropriate thoughts and reactions about Jake Chase. “No, I haven’t been around forever. Less than two hundred years, actually.” He chuckled derisively. “Although on some days it does feel like forever.” Jake paused, his gaze catching Caleb’s from his kneeling position. “Like on the days you dream about saving women from jumping from…wherever?” Caleb went very, very still, but he couldn’t look away. When Jake stayed with Caleb’s stare, almost probing in its intensity, Caleb withdrew into himself. “No way, Jake. You don’t get to ask about that. Not unless you want to talk about your wife, and how she died in your arms.”

His face paling before Caleb’s eyes, Jake lost his balance, falling onto his ass. Every muscle seemed to coil up tightly within the man as he shifted back onto his knees. He gathered the wet bundle of towels, some with glass wrapped securely within. Before he stood, he laid two more large towels down on the floor. “Careful if you have to get up,” he murmured, without making eye contact. “In the morning I’ll come in with a broom and dustpan to get all the little shards.” Caleb tried to say he would do it himself, but Jake left without another word. Punching the mattress, Caleb cursed his cruel taunt. Nobody deserved that. Most especially not Jake. ***** Caleb did his best to avoid Jake around the house over the next two days. It didn’t prove much of a challenge, as Jake didn’t come back to Caleb’s bedroom once. He’d apparently decided his brothers could make sure he had everything he needed. When Risa popped her head in to say hi, she reported that Jake worked himself ragged, barely stopping to eat. “He looked, I don’t know, more peaceful I guess, for a while there,” Risa said, from where she stood by Caleb’s window, staring down. “Now he seems back to that place he was when I first met him.” Guilt ate at Caleb, cutting him deeper than the almost-recovered bullet wounds on his back. Saying that damned insensitive thing about titfor-tat war stories regarding women had closed Jake up, pushing him back into that quiet grief for his deceased wife. Caleb just couldn’t… Damn it. Nobody knew everything of his activities before Connor had rescued him from near drowning in the Thames, and Caleb intended to keep it that way. Even if that instinct to protect himself resulted in Jake getting hurt. It had to be that way. It had to. Risa spun around and faced Caleb, her ever-present strawberry braid whipping around her neck. “You should work your magic on him, Caleb.” She set her green gaze on him as she approached the bed.

“Overwhelm him with your special Caleb charm and get him laughing and smiling.” Caleb dazzled the young woman with a fast smile. “Only works on the surface, sweetheart. Or haven’t you realized I don’t have the ability to bring out that lightness in a person for anything more than a very short while?” “You sell yourself short, Caleb.” Reaching down, Risa took his hand loosely in both of hers, swinging it gently, with familiarity and affection. “You’re more than family to me; you’re a real, honest-togoodness, dear friend. If I hear you putting yourself down again, or saying your easiness and generosity isn’t a lasting, long-term gift that you have to offer others, I’m gonna send Ruby over here to talk your ear off for at least five hours about the many things she adores in you. I know you love her, but do you really want me to sic her on you? Because I will.” Caleb narrowed his gaze and cocked his head to the side. “Why didn’t I steal you for myself before Duke snatched you up?” Risa wrinkled her nose, as if she’d just stepped in horse manure. “Because I think of you as another brother, and you’ve called me your little sister more than once.” “Oh yeah, that’s right.” Caleb pretended to swoon dramatically. “Plus, there’s that whole ‘I only have eyes for Duke’ thing you’ve had going on forever. It’s all coming back to me now. Go, go.” He shooed her away. “I must ponder this setback with solitude and quiet reflection. Leave me now. I don’t want you to see my tears.” “See? That’s what I’m talking about.” Risa pointed at him as she moved to the door. “Do that with Jake. Tease him right out of this funk he has let come over him. I know you can.” Problem was, Caleb didn’t think he could. Something about it felt too important. He somehow knew it would hurt him greatly if Jake didn’t respond, if Caleb failed.

Risa stood with her hand wrapped around the doorknob, her scrutiny of him drawing her brows together in a little furrow. “Please?” Her voice wavered. “I’m worried about him.” “I’ll see what I can do,” Caleb promised quickly. Christ, he didn’t need this keen woman looking at him any more closely than she already did. She would surely pick up on his misplaced attraction to his foreman. “All right?” “That’s all I ask.” Risa opened the door but paused, sucking her lower lip between her teeth. After a prolonged moment, she finally said, “I really care about him, you know? I’d like to help him, but I don’t know what more I can do. I hope you’re the answer he needs. ’Night.” Caleb knew something Risa didn’t; he wasn’t anybody’s answer to inner peace. Not even close. ***** Caleb stood at the door to the office in the horse stable, looking in on Jake as he worked at the desk. After a day and a half of telling himself he had no responsibility for Jake Chase’s moods -- and still not having seen the guy around the house to confirm or dismiss Risa’s claims -the guilt wedged itself deeper into Caleb’s conscience, allowing him to think of little else. He needed to apologize, and set their working relationship back to rights. The lateness of the hour settled over Caleb, and the soft, rustling movement from the contented, fed horses and the chirping of a night critter were the only sounds that broke the silence. The thought that he wished he could throw himself down on the ancient couch and talk to Jake about their respective days washed over Caleb, startling him with the tight clamp of need that surrounded his core. Caleb selfishly wanted Jake to relax and open up for himself, as much as he did for Jake’s overall well-being. Caleb experienced such a shockingly deep, gut-level desire for closeness with Jake that he gasped, drawing Jake’s focus right up to where he stood, piercing through the lenses of his somehow sexy-as-hell glasses.

“Shit.” Jake bolted out of his seat and rounded the desk, right to Caleb’s side. “You shouldn’t be out of bed yet. You’re gonna reinjure yourself.” He slid his arm around Caleb’s waist, putting his face in such close proximity that if Caleb turned his head, he’d brush the man’s cheek with his lips. Standing there, wanting so badly not to feel anything, Caleb practically went up in flames. Terror seized him, hitting him low. He spun out of Jake’s hold so fast he stumbled, just barely recovering his balance so that he didn’t humiliate himself by ending up ass first on the floor. Stagger-stepping backward, he ended up almost on top of the desk. Caleb cursed his clumsiness under his breath. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Another two or three days and my body will be fully recovered.” “Well, I guess that’s handy,” Jake mumbled, his cheeks turning ruddy. “Yeah, I suppose.” Jesus, Caleb didn’t want to talk about the demon with this man. Didn’t want to give Jake any reminders that he wasn’t human. “Listen.” Caleb schooled himself to regain a lighthearted tone. “I’m not here to talk about me. I’m here because a certain someone believes you’ve been working too hard lately, and thinks I need to do something about it.” “Ahh. Risa.” The hard features of Jake’s face softened some, as did the natural gravelly texture of his deep voice. “She makes no secret of her opinions, that’s for sure.” Now or never. Caleb took a deep breath, and forced his eyes to remain connected to Jake’s. “I apologize if what I said to you about your wife put you in a black mood. It’s just that I don’t like to talk about my history any more than you do yours, so when you challenged it, I lashed out with something I knew would get you to back off. It was wrong of me, and I’m sorry I did it.” Jake dropped his focus to the speckled floor for a long, drawn out minute. After what felt like an eternity of thick silence, he brought his gaze back up to Caleb. “Apology accepted.” He stuck out his hand. “It wasn’t my place to pry either, so I’m sorry too.”

“Glad we took care of that.” With as brief a handshake as Caleb could get away with, he let go and moved forward, trading spaces with Jake so that he ended up back by the door, and Jake behind the desk once again. “Now I just need to order you not to work too late, and get some sleep. Risa will ride my ass until she sees a change in you, so help a guy out here, all right? Take care of yourself.” He sobered, couldn’t help it. The thought of something bad happening to Jake weakened Caleb’s knees. “None of us wants to see you wear yourself out.” Not exactly the teasing Risa had requested, but Caleb couldn’t make himself laugh about Jake overtaxing or injuring himself. “Okay?” “I have just a little bit more to finish up tonight.” With the tip of his index finger, Jake pushed the trendy frames back up on his nose. “You can report to Risa that I’ll be more mindful of my moods and schedule, starting tomorrow.” “Don’t make me a liar.” “I won’t.” Jake already had his focus back on the slender monitor of a laptop, diligently working. “’Night.” “Yep. Good night.” Caleb left Jake to his task, saying a silent prayer to whatever higher power had helped him through that conversation without incident. He just needed to get back to his routine and allow Jake to find his own. Then everything would go back to normal. It would. Because Caleb had been strong for many years, and one unusual attraction didn’t have the power to weaken him. Nothing did. He didn’t deserve happiness. Not after robbing it from the innocent hearts of so many others. ***** The dreams hit Caleb especially hard that night, stealing him from sleep again and again. Dozens of sweet, pretty, feminine faces, all of them so trusting in one moment, only to become depraved and broken in the next. Perspiration soaked Caleb’s body and dampened his hair,

chilling him from the outside in as the cool air wafting into his bedroom through an open window touched over his naked body. Goose pimples sprouted up all over his skin, making him shiver, even though he breathed heavily, struggling to shake off the aftereffects of images that hadn’t haunted him so regularly in decades. Knowing that he wouldn’t close his eyes again for the half hour or so it would take him to calm down, Caleb climbed out of bed and closed his window, at least taking care of one thing causing the cold to sit on him so heavily this evening. The memories that poisoned his blood proved move difficult to remove. Impossible, really. Caleb grabbed the jeans and shirt he’d thrown across a chair, slipping them on before going downstairs to the kitchen. Feeling a little sluggish, his legs dragged as if he moved through molasses. He knew the lack of sleep over the last three days, along with recovering from the gunshots, in addition to the bad dreams, and constantly fighting his misplaced attraction to Jake, all coalesced into a big ball of knots sitting heavy in his middle, confusing and manipulating him to the point where he didn’t know or trust his own thoughts anymore. He just needed about twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep and he would start to feel human again. “Well, not exactly human.” His short laugh echoed loudly in the kitchen. The sound bounced off the walls of the big, professionally designed room that would never know the laughter of a growing family the way Connor and Cassie’s rustic one did, or the cozy intimacy of the nook area that Cain and Luke shared in their cabin. His brothers had people who loved them and would choose them above anyone else in the world. And, fate willing, they would live together and die in a natural human lifetime, never regretting that becoming human only allowed them to live fifty or sixty more years instead of hundreds, because they would spend that time loving so well. By the time Caleb twisted the cap off his bottle of beer, he realized he probably shouldn’t take that first swig. If he began, he basically gave himself permission to drink the dozen or so he’d need in order to shake this bout of pathetic self-pity, not to mention the chasers he’d probably start throwing back, just to mix things up. As a demon, he couldn’t exactly get drunk. Shit, he needed a hell of a lot of alcohol in

his system just to achieve a pleasantly numbing buzz. Truthfully, not worth the expense or effort to make it happen. Thinking better of taking the first sip, Caleb put the bottle of beer down, untouched. Better to feel the uncertainly, confusion, and strangely heavy pain that sat on his middle. He needed clarity, else he might forget he had sins in his past that he had yet to adequately pay. Leaving the bottle on the counter, Caleb moved back through the darkened monstrosity of a house, a place that he had never bothered to make his own. Without someone to share it with and turn it into a home, he didn’t really see the point. Christ, though, he sometimes walked past some of the rooms and wished…wished for something more than what he had, for something more than what he was. For someone -The front door opened just then, stopping Caleb before his foot hit the first step. Jake moved inside the house quickly, his head turned down, little diamonds of moisture glistening in his dark hair, and damp spots dotting his shoulders. “Raining?” Caleb stated the obvious stupidly. He walked to Jake’s side. As he moved closer, he slipped his own shirt off his shoulders. “Yeah.” Jake lifted his head, his green eyes shining beneath spiky, wet lashes. Streaks of moisture drew little lines down his face, and Caleb wanted nothing so much as to lick them away, and not stop when he reached Jake’s lips. “Cold too.” Even as Jake said that, Caleb could only feel heat emanating off the man in drugging waves. “Must have dropped thirty degrees in the last three hours.” Swallowing thickly, Caleb said, “Here, let’s get you dried off some.” He used his shirt to wipe Jake’s face, and as he did, he moved dangerously close to the other man, right into the line of that intoxicating inferno. Jake’s warmth sank into Caleb completely, swirled its way down into Caleb’s belly, so much so he could not ignore the answering pull it tugged out of him. The need, something it seemed Caleb had denied from the first night in that motel room, pushed him into a very dangerous place. One from which he did not have the strength to retreat.

Leaning in, unable to stop himself for the world, Caleb watched Jake’s eyes widen with awareness and shock. Even that couldn’t stop Caleb. He looked right into Jake’s eyes as the need overtook him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Then, sinking into the flames, Caleb closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against Jake’s. Chapter Seven

The hardness of another man’s lips shocked Caleb’s senses. He jerked back a sliver, finding Jake’s eyes as he felt the soft pant of Jake’s breathing flicker over his sensitized lips. They both sucked in a breath at the same time, and their chests touched, sending complete awareness through Caleb’s body, straight to his cock. Right then, he knew he could not step away, even if he tried. Moaning as he went under the tide, Caleb moved in and took Jake’s mouth again, more forcefully this time, pushing him back against the wall by the front door. Grabbing the man around the waist, Caleb felt Jake’s body melt into him, and Caleb soared with renewed energy and life. Jake’s hands, as big and strong and rough as Caleb’s own, snaked around Caleb’s neck, pulling him in closer for a deeper, more intimate kiss. They opened their mouths at the same time, sharing one breath for a few heartbeats, and then they fused themselves together from top to bottom, tongues dueling for dominance and fingers digging into backs and short hair, bodies grinding against one another with the raw power of a primitive desire to mate. Just as fast as their kiss spiraled them both into a new kind of loving, Jake tore away from Caleb and pushed him, heaving as he wiped his mouth and regained air into his lungs. Fire burned in his eyes, but Caleb no longer saw the passion he had only a moment ago. Anger and betrayal lived there, alongside the shock. Jesus Christ, what have I done? Thrown himself on another man, Caleb answered himself, as the truth of what he’d let happen hit him low. What he’d done to Jake Chase, his employee.

“I’m so sorry.” Caleb rubbed his face and stepped back into the shadows, but he didn’t think anything could hide the erection straining against his jeans. “I don’t know what made me do that.” Caleb noticed that Jake’s hands shook as he pushed them through his hair. “I’m not gay,” Jake said, his voice a mixture of gravel and smoke. “I’m not gay.” “I know, I know. Me neither.” Turning, Caleb paced away, trying to get the mass of horror, and shame…and arousal, back under his control. “I don’t know what came over me, but I swear it won’t happen again. I just…I just feel so out of it lately, and I don’t know why.” Damn it all, what in the hell made him admit that? “I won’t let it interfere with your work, or the running of this ranch ever again. I promise.” Jake moved to the stairs, and so damn thoughtfully draped Caleb’s shirt over the banister. He didn’t quite make eye contact though. “I guess we’re even then.” The gesture reached inside Caleb, staggering him. “What do you mean?” Jake did finally meet Caleb’s gaze, and the sadness in those green depths rocked through Caleb, making him want to repeat his mistake and grab Jake into his arms for another searching kiss. “You saw me at a pretty low place, back in that motel room,” Jake confessed. “I know you didn’t spread what you saw with others, or the people on this property would look at me in a much different way than they do. I owe you for that.” Jake gave Caleb the gift of rationale and forgiveness that he did not deserve. “No, you don’t.” Jake shrugged his shoulders. “Either way, I won’t tell anyone what happened here tonight. All right?” “Thank you, Jake.” “No problem.”

Jake went the rest of the way upstairs, presumably to bed. Leaving Caleb there alone, profoundly grateful for Jake’s maturity. But still as hard as a rock from that kiss. He didn’t know what in the hell to do. “Fuck.” ***** Shit, shit, shit, shit. Jake ascended the stairs at a deliberate, moderate pace, so, so aware that another pair of eyes watched him move. The gaze of another man. Oh, God. His back straight and his chin lifted at just the right angle -- not arrogant, not ashamed -- Jake somehow walked to his bedroom as if nothing untoward had just happened to him at all. As if he hadn’t just kissed Caleb Hawkins and, more horrific, for a split second, reveled in it and wanted it to go on well beyond what he’d let happen. Once in the privacy of his room, Jake stumbled to the dresser and picked up one of the many pictures of his wife, clutching the frame against his chest as he whispered his apology to Krista. He had betrayed her this night. It ultimately did not matter that he kissed another man rather than a woman; his heart had reached out for another person, just for a moment, and that was all it took. His dick still jutted against his jeans, and memories of Caleb’s hot mouth on his washed not only through Jake’s mind, but seeped into his entire body, reminding him once again that he had liked it, and wanted more. For Jake, the desire was worse -- and a thousand times more terrifying -- than the fact that his body had betrayed him in feeling passion for another man. Well, not a man. A male of his species, of whatever Caleb Hawkins was. Jake knew the guy at least had the semblance of a human penis now, because he’d felt it rub up against his thigh when Caleb shoved him into the wall. God, he had never experienced such raw, overpowering strength in a lover. Not that Caleb would ever be a lover, and not that Jake had many women in his bed before meeting Krista with which to compare. Still, the rigid feel of Caleb’s member digging into his thigh evoked extreme male satisfaction and pride in Jake, an instinctual

sense of flattery that he’d brought about such a carnal response in another person. Even another man. God, how can I want to kiss another man? Beyond that, my body ached for more when I pushed him away. “No. Stop it. You don’t care about that.” Jake lay down in bed and propped up the picture of Krista on the pillow next to him, rememorizing her round, pretty face, her enormous brown eyes, and her thick wave of inky dark hair. Hair as dark as Caleb’s. No, stop it right now. Immediately, Jake reached out and touched Krista’s face, wishing with everything in him that he could touch the peachy smoothness of her cheek, rather than the cool, slick feel of glass. God, he missed her smile and vibrancy so damn much. Rolling over on his side, Jake grabbed the picture and held it close, as he would do with her on any given night of their ten years of marriage. “I’m so sorry I kissed him back, Krista.” Tears pressed hard behind Jake’s eyes, and a thickness sat so heavy on his chest he thought it might suffocate him. He didn’t know if he hurt inside so deeply because he’d taken his first step away from his wife tonight -- no matter that he didn’t instigate it -- or that because he had, he would have to leave this place that he’d already come to love so well. He didn’t want to walk away from Hawkins Ranch. He’d had his first decent nights of sleep in six years since coming here. He enjoyed working with people like Risa, Ren, Hank, and even his own newbie, Gabriel, and all of the rest too. The thought of going back to the rodeo in some capacity rolled nausea in Jake’s stomach, but at the same time, knowing that he’d cheated on his wife in this house ate at his soul deeper than the sickness of leaving. It wasn’t that Caleb had kissed him that made the decision for Jake. It was that he had kissed Caleb back. And wanted to do it again.

***** Early the next morning, Jake found Caleb in the kitchen. He had barely slept a wink all night, knowing that he had to figure out a way to give his resignation and say good-bye without causing a lot of commotion or stress. Even having prepared himself to do it, seeing Caleb leaning against the counter, a mug of coffee poised frozen at his lips, stole Jake’s breath and robbed his brain of any speech he’d memorized before seeking out Caleb. God, he didn’t understand why he responded to Caleb so completely, when he’d never felt anything more than passing friendship for a man before in his life. Women, yes. He loved Krista and had devoted himself to her, but he could see an attractive female on the street or on TV and have the gut-level thought that she possessed beauty and find her physically attractive. He’d never once thought about a guy like that. Only now, somehow, he noticed little things about Caleb in the same way he used to note them in women. This morning, for example, his gaze caught on the hard angle of Caleb’s jaw, and the fact that he hadn’t shaved yet. The dark stubble covering his low cheek to under his chin made Jake wonder how soft or coarse it would feel under his fingertips, or better, against his lips. Damn it, no. Jake couldn’t let that kiss happen again. “I have to leave here,” Jake suddenly blurted. He didn’t take a step farther into the kitchen. He somehow knew if he moved too close he’d get lost in that aura Caleb seemed to have around himself, one that sucked in everyone around him, making them feel special, safe, and protected. “I can’t work for Hawkins Ranch anymore.” “I’m leaving today.” The pure blue sweltering in Caleb’s eyes darkened to almost midnight, giving away emotion that the calmness of his words did not. “I need to head down south for a week and spend some time looking over bull stock that Cortland wants to sell.” Caleb mentioned one of the stock contractors working the highest level of the PBR tour. “I know by the time I get back, we’ll be past this awkwardness we’re both feeling right now and back to our normal selves. I don’t want to lose you as my foreman, Jake. The hands respect and work hard for you, and you work well with both of my brothers. I don’t want to ruin that because I had a stupid lapse in

judgment and kissed you. Stay, and see how things go.” Caleb lifted away from the counter and moved to the backdoor. Pausing, without looking back, he added, “That’s all I ask.”

Caleb got out onto the back porch, his heart racing a million beats a minute, a thousand curses at his idiocy looping in his head. He should have expected Jake to want to quit, and prepared a long list of reasons that would compel Jake to stay. Instead, Caleb had gotten so caught up in the intensity in Jake’s stare, completely unable to look away, that he’d panicked when hearing Jake say he planned to leave. Caleb had absolutely no intentions of visiting Cortland’s property, but unless he disappeared for a while, he didn’t see any way to get Jake to stick around. And as crazy as it was, Caleb already couldn’t imagine this place existing without Jake.

Two hours later, from the window in the main office, Jake watched Caleb climb into his truck and drive off the property. Almost immediately, the emptiness of the big house surrounded Jake in a freezing cold cloak, making him shiver. God damn it. Five minutes gone, and the place already reacted strongly to its owner’s absence. Shaking the oppressiveness off, Jake got back to work. And prayed like hell that he didn’t regret staying. ***** “Hey, boss,” Gabriel called out, and joined Jake where he stood talking with Cain. Gabriel stopped when he spotted Cain, and immediately offered a respectful stance. “Mr. Hawkins.” “Cain, please.” The horse rancher stuck out his hand. “Gabriel, right? I think we were introduced at Luke’s birthday party.” “Yeah. I mean yes.” Gabriel pumped Cain’s hand with enthusiasm. “It was nice of all of you to include me. You have a great family.”

“I think we’ll keep each other.” Cain chuckled, and the blue in his eyes sparkled for a moment in a way that sucker punched Jake, hard. They looked exactly like Caleb’s, and for a second, Jake opened his mouth to ask Caleb why he’d stayed away for so long. Cain’s voice broke through, much less smooth than Caleb’s, and snapped Jake out of the brief illusion that he had Caleb right in front of him again. “If only because we keep each other out of trouble,” Cain added. “Speaking of which” -- he turned to Jake -- “if you hear from my MIA sibling, tell him to give me a call. I haven’t talked to him in at least a week.” “I’ll let him know.” Jake made the promise with a steady tone as he walked Cain to his truck, even though he knew he wouldn’t have an opportunity to tell Caleb anything. Two weeks had passed since talking to Caleb in the kitchen and then watching him drive away. Caleb checked in, but he didn’t do it with Jake. As much as Jake knew Caleb stayed away for his sake, Jake caught himself wishing he could see the man and assure himself Caleb was all right. Something about Caleb’s face in the kitchen that morning kept sneaking its way into Jake’s thoughts, making him think he’d hurt Caleb in some way by trying to give his resignation. If he didn’t know for a fact that Cortland did want to sell his bull stock and get out of the business, Jake would have thought he’d run Caleb off his own property by saying he wanted to leave the ranch. Jake didn’t want to have that kind of responsibility over another human being, especially not Caleb. The guy had given him a job, had shown incredible trust and faith in Jake, and other than that one time when he lashed out, hadn’t brought up Krista once. Jake needed that in his life. He craved someone to talk to, who also wouldn’t push. He spent so much damn time alone when not working, he’d begun talking to himself aloud. He’d long ago started talking back to television shows, sports, and the news, so much so he felt certain he would embarrass himself if he ever sat down with someone to watch something these days. He thanked God genuine exhaustion kept him from accepting the few invitations he’d received to the homes of Cain, Connor, and even Risa and her family. Jake never went down to the bunkhouse for a game of poker with the men. Crossing that boundary of boss to friend with

employees could become difficult to put back in place come the next morning when a new workday began. He hadn’t felt any of that discomfort with Caleb, except for the few streaks of physical attraction -- and that disturbing, arousing kiss. “Boss? Boss?” Gabriel’s voice penetrated Jake’s faraway thoughts, and he realized he stared at an empty stretch of dirt road that Cain had driven away from many minutes ago. Jake snapped his attention to Gabriel as the young man said, “Are you all right?” “Yes. Sorry. I’m fine.” Jake forced his disturbing, self-pitying thoughts down and focused on his employee. “Is there something you need?” “Wondering if you know when Mr. Hawkins -- Caleb -- is gonna be back.” Gabriel’s pale skin flushed with pink. “I know it sounds crazy, but Risa and I think the bulls miss him. She says Rock-n-Roll in particular doesn’t seem to have an appetite, and that he’s not giving her a very hard ride. I know Caleb has some time before they have him scheduled to tour again, but I’m worried if he doesn’t come home soon, the animals may not be up for the challenge when he puts them back in the rotation. Do you know when Caleb will be home?” “Soon, I’m sure.” Jake would never tell Gabriel that he hadn’t spoken to Caleb since he left the morning after their kiss, but he would quietly put in a call to Connor and Cain and make sure they passed along the information that Caleb would surely want to know. He would make it sound as if he shared the information among all of them, so that whoever talked to Caleb first could tell him the news. “In the meantime, let’s go see what we can do about that spoiled bull ourselves.” “Maybe you have some ideas.” Gabriel fell in line beside Jake, deferring, even with his superior height and build. “I listened to you guys talking on the tour all the time, but I can’t come up with anything to help.” Jake’s face held grim determination as he walked, but on the inside, he breathed a silent sigh of relief. Finally, he had a legitimate reason

for this feeling roiling inside him, one that told him he needed Caleb to come home. ***** Jake rubbed the tiredness out of his eyes, wearily glancing at the clock above the kitchen door. Eleven thirty, and he finally had a chance to sit down and eat something before going to bed. Jasper got hurt on the job today after Cain had left, and the rest of Jake’s day had only gotten busier. After having the Hawkins’s vet make sure that Rock-nRoll was at least all right physically, he’d fucking had to figure out a way to sweet-talk the damn animal into eating, finish his outdoor work, and finally go to the hospital and make sure Jasper would be okay after taking his nasty fall. Jake wanted this responsibility, and he didn’t shirk it one bit. It fulfilled him, but at the same time, he craved a willing soul off of whom he could bounce ideas and ornery complaints. After six years without it, he missed a friendly, caring face sitting across from him at the dinner table sharing a meal. Hunger rumbled in Jake’s belly, but he couldn’t manage making a sandwich. He just didn’t have any interest in eating. As he slammed the fridge without pulling anything out, he chuckled derisively at his mood. He was starting to resemble the damn bulls. In more ways than one. His laughter turned into a groan, and Jake moved to flip off the kitchen light to go to bed. Before the switch went down, the knob on the backdoor turned, and there stood Caleb, looking tired, disheveled…and beautiful. Jake started, paralyzed from twenty feet away, on the opposite end of the room. Caleb shut the door and looked up, shock registering as clearly in his eyes as Jake knew must be in his own. Damn it. Seeing the real deal right in front of him, Jake realized Cain and Caleb’s eyes weren’t alike in any way other than color. Caleb’s drew Jake in with promises that couldn’t possibly be, where Cain just had nice blue eyes. “You came home.” Jake’s voice sounded breathless and thick, much as his chest and throat felt. His head screamed at him to run, but he

couldn’t look away. In fact, as if his legs had a mind of their own, he took a step in Caleb’s direction. Caleb took one too. “I couldn’t stay away any longer.” Another step from Caleb, and Jake moved forward too. “I’ll go away again, but I need a few days to recharge.” Caleb faltered, but by this point only one step separated them. Jake noticed lines around Caleb’s eyes that he didn’t remember seeing before. “I miss my family,” Caleb said, his voice wavering. “I miss y --” Jake reached out and slammed his hand over Caleb’s mouth, stopping that final word that would undo him. “Shut up.” He didn’t think his voice had ever sounded more gutted than it did right now. “Don’t say it.” “You.” The word mumbled from under Jake’s hand, the emotion going into his palm and racing into the rest of his body. Caleb’s eyes shrieked with apology, the blue so pure it defied belief. “I’m sor --” Jake growled, hating himself more at this moment than he ever had, but at the same time, he could not walk away from this powerful need that he didn’t understand. “Don’t say another damn word.” He grabbed Caleb by the front of his shirt and hauled the man up until everything touched, except the inches of space that separated their mouths. As Jake descended, he obliterated that distance and uttered, “Just fucking kiss me. Please.” Chapter Eight

Jake plastered his mouth to Caleb’s with an almost violent kiss. Caleb stumbled beneath the onslaught of demanding, carnal, ridiculously vulnerable emotions that immediately slammed through his body. Jake caught him around the waist and backed him up until Caleb’s spine dug into the butcher-block countertop. The moment encompassed virtually every fantasy Caleb had tried so valiantly to suppress over the last few months, buckling his knees. Jake moaned and pried Caleb’s mouth open, thrust his tongue inside, and Caleb almost came on the spot. The hard ridge of Jake’s cock pushed into

his lower belly, and a desire unlike anything Caleb had ever experienced raced through his blood, leaving him unable to recognize the aching man living in his own skin. Caleb dug between their bodies and yanked at Jake’s shirt, pulling it from his jeans. Going for Jake’s belt, he slipped his tongue out of Jake’s mouth long enough to get his breath back, just barely, and met the man’s glittering gaze. “I know you’re not gay, and I swear I’m not either.” He freed the damn buckle, snap, and zipper, moaning at the heat of Jake’s skin as he pushed jeans and underwear down to Jake’s hips. A burning hot length of smooth-as-hell hardness brushed the back of his hand, and Caleb knew exactly what he wanted. “But I swear to God, Jake” -- he wrapped his hand around Jake’s enormous, thick prick, making them both shiver -- “I don’t understand what’s going on between us, but I need you to fuck me, or I think I’ll go insane.” In answer, Jake spun Caleb around and bent him over the counter, pressing his torso into the wood with the weight on his back. “Take down your pants right now.” Jake’s voice registered low and hard next to Caleb’s ear, worming its way inside, stroking that need to connect with Jake beyond the bounds of friendship. Without hesitation, he pulled on his belt buckle and started loosening his jeans. The sound of glass shattering jerked Caleb between the sandwich of the counter and Jake. He turned his head and saw that Jake had smashed a bottle of oil against the countertop. He smeared his hand through the thick substance, coating it with something convenient that would obviously help ease his entry into Caleb’s ass. Jesus Christ. Caleb hadn’t thought that far ahead. He had not considered what it would feel like to have someone penetrate his body. Right then, Jake tucked his hand inside the waistband of Caleb’s jeans and shoved them down enough to expose his backside, not only to the hot air cloying the room, but also to the physical presence of Jake behind him. Knowing that Jake wanted this as crazily, desperately as Caleb did, Caleb knew nothing else mattered. Not even his sudden fear. He wanted this man inside of him more than anything. He didn’t care what they used to get him there.

Jake’s fingers pushed through Caleb’s crease, separating the globes of his buttocks until he reached Caleb’s asshole. Caleb’s little pucker shied away from the touch of Jake’s callused fingers, but Jake only rubbed over his entrance enough to coat it with the olive oil, and then pulled his hand away. Quickly, the head of Jake’s cock replaced his fingers and parked right up against Caleb’s nervous, excited sphincter. God, he wanted this so badly he shook with it. Jake pushed against Caleb’s hole again, and again, and again, creating such an unusual, unaccustomed pressure Caleb started panting with every bump against his bud. Suddenly, Jake growled a rough curse, locked his iron-hard forearm around Caleb’s waist, and thrust so hard he burst through the resistance and filled Caleb’s channel with his thick, burning dick. “Ohh Gahhhd…” Caleb practically bit through his lip when it happened. It hurt so goddamned bad his erection dwindled, but at the same time, Caleb didn’t want Jake to stop. Tears blinded his eyes as his opening stretched unbearably wide to accommodate Jake’s taking of him, the sensitive tissues stinging his nerve endings all the way down his legs into his toes, coating him in the strangest fiery sensation, centered in his pained, invaded ass. His body couldn’t understand this invasion into his anus, and it started to spasm all around Jake’s penis, drawing a grunt and another push from Jake, until Caleb’s chute was filled with nothing but the hard penetration of Jake’s cock. Without quarter, Jake started to thrust. He burrowed his forehead into Caleb’s hair, and Caleb could feel the man’s open mouth pushing hot gasps of air into Caleb’s scalp every time he shoved his dick into the screaming tunnel of Caleb’s tormented rectum. Everything around that sensitive area burned, and each time Jake pulled all the way out before slipping back in, Caleb squeezed his eyes shut against the uncomfortable withdrawal. Nothing about it felt good right now, but for every clutch of Jake’s fist against Caleb’s belly when he put himself back inside Caleb’s body, and every bruising squeeze from Jake’s rough fingers on his hip when he ground into Caleb’s backdoor at full penetration, a deeper pleasure burst within Caleb’s core and spread throughout his body, giving him joy that came from an entirely different place. Even though it hurt like a motherfucker, he ached for it because it was Jake doing it. Caleb clutched his hand on top of

Jake’s, digging his digits in between the web of Jake’s fingers until they almost held hands. That seemed to trigger something primal in Jake. “Oh shit.” He squeezed Caleb’s middle hard enough to cut off his breathing. “I’m gonna come. Oh…oh God.” Jake took Caleb up onto his toes with the force behind his fucking. On the slide back down, the glide along the walls of Caleb’s ass experienced the motion in a different kind of way, eliciting a choking gasp of pleasure from him. Damn, it felt so fucking sweet, his toes curled in his boots. Just then, Jake bore down on Caleb with all of his power, crying out into the quiet kitchen, snaking right into Caleb’s soul. The body behind him stilled and then shuddered. Moments later, liquid heat spurted in Caleb’s hole, painting the walls of his chute with the ultimate pleasure from another person’s body. Jake came harder than Caleb ever had in his hundred and fifty plus years of screwing, and Caleb took the gift of another man’s cum inside him for the first time in his life. The magnitude rocked him so damn hard his cock jutted out in reaction, turning his dick spike stiff again. “Help me, help me.” Caleb forced Jake’s hand down to his erection and wrapped it around his length, holding it there with the cover of his own. Starting them moving as one, Caleb groaned with delight as the slick residue of oil smoothed the way for fast, full strokes. Christ, he’d had some work-roughened female hands around his prick and enjoyed it, but something about Jake’s big hand and long fingers turned Caleb on, made him chance a rougher pull on his aching cock. Using Jake’s hand, he didn’t know if he jerked himself off all on his own, or if he had a little outside help from Jake. Either way, it gave Caleb such pleasure that his ass muscles relaxed, so much so that he didn’t feel an ounce of discomfort flutter through his channel as Jake jostled within, still buried deep inside of Caleb. “Christ, Jake.” Caleb pumped his hips in time with the swipes of their connected hands. “You hurt so damn good.” Never quite understanding that phrase before, it made perfect sense to Caleb now. He hadn’t come yet himself, and his rectum still trembled with sensitivity from the first fucking, but already Caleb craved it again. He pushed his forehead down into the wood countertop and shoved

his ass back on Jake’s impaled cock as he worked their hands over his penis like a madman. “I want to fucking come for you so damn bad.” Jake bit Caleb in reaction, and that did it for Caleb. His balls drew up painfully tight, he rose up onto his tiptoes, and holding Jake’s hand around his pole, Caleb pumped his hips forward, jamming his cockhead into the cabinet as he came. He dumped a load of jizz on the high-quality wood, feeling like he shook and came forever. His release satisfied him so completely that he keened with it. Even with a dozen lines of semen dripping down onto the floor, Caleb still didn’t think he matched the amount of cum Jake had released inside his ass. Jesus. He had just let his foreman fuck him so raw he hurt with it…and already Caleb wanted Jake to do him again. Their bodies heaved against each other with the breathlessness of recent orgasm, lifting and falling as one. Sweat soaked Caleb through his shirt, and he had his cheek plastered to the countertop with perspiration too. With his jeans bunched down around his knees and his torso bent over in sublimation, Caleb suddenly shivered with the picture he created. A new vulnerability bubbled inside, and Caleb fought the strongest desire to cry. He must have hid the weak emotion well, because right then, Jake pulled away, leaving Caleb bereft when the man’s weight went away and his cock slipped out of Caleb’s body. “Don’t leave the ranch,” Caleb whispered, unable to find the natural strength and jovial cadence of his voice. He straightened and pulled up his pants quickly, the exposure and position suddenly obscene without the cloak of manic passion flaring between them anymore. “Not without telling me.” He didn’t want to look at Jake. The fear of what he would find ate his courage to the point that he kept his gaze down on Jake’s strong hands as the man put his own trousers to rights. The sheen on his fingers from oil and cum sneaked into Caleb, putting him right back in the moment Jake had taken his ass. Caleb couldn’t pull back the desperate, “Please,” that escaped his lips next. Caleb watched Jake’s boots as he moved toward the opening that led out of the kitchen. Something in his core, a piece that he couldn’t identify and didn’t understand, broke a little bit, right there in his

kitchen. Caleb slumped forward, grateful for the counter to help hold him up. Christ, he didn’t like feeling this way. Not one damn bit. Then, from across the room, so scratchy Caleb almost couldn’t understand it, Jake said, “I won’t leave.” Caleb whipped up his head. Too late, Jake had already disappeared. Caleb hung around the kitchen long enough to clean up the mess of oil and broken glass pooled on the counter. Damn it, when Jake had slammed the bottle against the counter it hadn’t even occurred to Caleb that Jake could have sliced his hand open on the broken glass and really hurt himself. All Caleb had wanted -- and apparently for that brief moment in time Jake too -- was to get lost in the act of fucking each other. Fucking A, Caleb couldn’t go check on the man either; Jake didn’t seem to want anything to do with Caleb right now. Caleb closed his eyes briefly on the wave of pain that rejection brought on. You wanted it, man, he chastised himself, now you have to take the consequences. Forcing himself not to dwell on what he couldn’t change, Caleb finished what he started, and wiped down the semen he had spewed on the cabinet. After cleaning, Caleb turned off the light and went upstairs to shower. Even though he knew he needed to get the oil off his skin, Caleb hated standing under the water and doing it. Along with the grime from the day and the olive oil, leftover residue from Jake would go down the drain too. Caleb didn’t like the thought of that. He swallowed convulsively as he realized he didn’t want anything of Jake to ever go away. What in the hell was happening to him? ***** Hours later, after not having gotten a lick of sleep, Jake pulled himself out of bed and gathered up all the pictures of his wife sprinkled throughout his bedroom. He couldn’t bear to have her knowing eyes following him around the room for another second, hurt shining in them because of what he’d done. Good God, he’d fucked Caleb Hawkins. So much more devastating to his marriage vows, though,

Jake had lost himself in the fast, hard mating. Enough that he’d excitedly yanked on another man’s dick and helped him come too. From the minute Caleb walked into that kitchen last night, until the moment before Jake pulled his cock out of the other man’s tight ass, Krista had not crossed Jake’s mind once. Pure need took over the whole of his being the moment his eyes met Caleb’s, and Jake wasn’t sure he could have stopped himself had his wife appeared in the room with them and ordered him to cease. Kneeling down, Jake opened the bottom drawer of his dresser, one that he didn’t have enough clothes to ever use. He loaded Krista’s pictures in one by one, placing them next to a photo album filled with candid snapshots of her. As Jake put the pictures away, he recalled every photo, and the exact time each one had occurred. Every memory gutted him with the life he would never have again. Lastly, the most profound symbol of his and Krista’s love -- thus the most painful sign of his betrayal -- Jake slipped off his wedding ring, letting it drop with a ping to the bottom of the drawer. He couldn’t look at it on his finger every day after what he’d done, with full knowledge and awareness that he had broken his marriage vows. Something he swore to Krista daily that he would never, ever do. “I’m sorry I was so weak, Sunshine.” The nickname forced a terrible, choking sob out of Jake. The first time he’d called her that, explaining to her that her mile-wide, pretty smile could light up a city for a week, she’d said, “As long as it lights up your heart, that’s all that matters.” Then, she told him she loved him, for the first time. She took out his knees in that moment, literally. He hadn’t believed someone so kind and gentle, but also in possession of such fiery passion for life, could love someone like him. He had such quiet arrogance back then, before her love humbled him and made him the man he was today. She did love him though, and she never let him forget it or doubt it in the entire twelve years they spent together. Only now, Jake dishonored that gift by taking Caleb Hawkins against a kitchen counter, forgetting Krista’s very existence in the haze of lust that overtook him for the man. The guilt festered deep inside Jake, like a tapeworm that would never be sated. If Jake had to look into his

wife’s eyes every night, or down at his wedding ring, with the knowledge of what he’d done -- what he feared he might do again -- it would cripple Jake to the point of not being able to function. Yet as he knew he should pack his bags and run as far as he could, the peace he felt while working this stretch of land beckoned Jake, rooting him in place. Caleb’s voice requesting, “Don’t leave the ranch,” called to Jake too. As much as Jake told himself only the work held him here, Jake began to think he might be a liar. He knew he would stay. Caleb held Jake to this house as strongly as the work and the people held him to the land. And that was the biggest betrayal to Krista of all. Chapter Nine

Caleb wiped his feet on the welcome mat and followed Luke inside his and Cain’s homey little cabin. Delicious smells of roasting herbs and garlic tickled his nose and made his mouth water. “I appreciate your help today.” Luke glanced over his shoulder as he moved to the kitchen area, where Cain stood with his arm in a sling. Luke leaned in and brushed his mouth against Cain’s pursed lips, lingering until the visible tension in Cain’s body loosened, and he kissed Luke back. Caleb had never looked away from either of his brothers sharing intimacy with his respective spouse, and he didn’t bother to do so now. Luke pressed a kiss against Cain’s trussed-up arm, and then rubbed his fingers over the ace bandage wrapped around Cain’s right wrist. “How you feeling, babe?” “Fine.” Cain almost turned the word into an unintelligible growl, and the sound reminded Caleb of a slightly smoother version of the noise

Jake often made when upset or emotional. “I’ll be back on the horses tomorrow and rarin’ to go.” “Uh-uh.” Luke shook his head, but he did plant one more quick peck on Cain’s sputtering lips. “The doctor said a minimum of seventy-two hours in a sling, no using it.” In the latter part of yesterday afternoon, Cain had taken a nasty fall from one of the abused horses he and Luke retrained for their rehabilitation farm. Cain didn’t want to make a fuss, refusing to let Luke call anyone when Luke dragged him to the ER. This morning, Luke had put his foot down when Cain insisted on working. With Connor out of town for a few days, Luke called Caleb on his cell, hoping the man could talk some sense into his brother. Caleb had surprised Luke by sharing that he’d already returned to Quinten, and said he would come right over in person to lend a hand. Eleven hours later, and Caleb wanted to drop. He felt a burning desire to get home too. Back to Jake. Frissons of nervousness and fear spiked Caleb’s adrenaline on the heels of that thought, as it had done off and on all day. He didn’t know what to expect tonight, or how he should behave when he came face-to-face with Jake again. He knew the memory of Jake filling his ass and pounding away would sit front and center in his mind, and didn’t know how capable he’d be of hiding it. An unusual sensation for him. Caleb had grown very accustomed to no one knowing his true thoughts. Lately, even his brothers weren’t privy. He couldn’t afford for them to see his envy and couldn’t bear witnessing pity in either of their gazes. Caleb stared at his brother and Luke, and desperately tried to stamp down the ache in his heart. “How are you doing, Caleb?” Cain asked, jerking him out of his turbulent thoughts. “What?” Caleb’s temperature rose at the scrutiny from his brother. How could Cain know he had spent the day struggling with these disturbing, newfound feelings for his foreman -- another fucking man. “I’m fine. What makes you even ask?” “Because someone put two bullets in you,” Cain answered. “And call me crazy, but I don’t like that one damn bit.”

“That was weeks ago.” Tension eased out of Caleb, and he almost slumped with relief. “I’m fine. You know it doesn’t take me long to recover.” “Your body, maybe,” Cain said, his eyes darkening with his tone. “But that doesn’t change the fact that someone tried to kill you. I want to do more to try and identify this bastard before he tries again.” “I told you” -- Caleb curled his hands into tight fists -- “nobody was trying to kill me. If they’d wanted me dead, I would be.” “But --” “But nothing.” Caleb moved in. “What would you like me to do? Go to Duke and tell him what happened so that he can start an official investigation? How would I explain that someone shot me in the back, yet here I am, fully recovered, all without making a single visit to the hospital? Would you like me to do that? Would you like me to be discovered and strung up by my balls?” “All right. Fine.” Cain held up his one good arm, warding Caleb off. “You don’t have to be such a defensive jackass about it. Excuse me for loving you and worrying that there might be someone out there who wants to hurt you. You’re just my brother, after all.” “Okay, okay.” Luke stepped in between the two men. “Fight’s over. We’re gonna call it a draw.” He did, however, give Caleb an equally assessing, concerned once-over. “For now,” he added. “Fine with me.” Caleb affected one of his easy, winning smiles. “Bastard.” Cain chuckled. “I guess I have to say ‘fine’ right back.” He gestured to the table. “Sit. Since I couldn’t do anything all day” -Cain shot Luke a murderous glance that Luke completely took the fire out of by blowing back a kiss -- “I made a nice meal. We have pasta with a thick veggie sauce, cheesy garlic bread, and I even have brownies getting ready to go into the oven for dessert.” Damn, that sounded good. Jake knew not to expect him, so Caleb didn’t think he would offend the man by eating here with his brother and Luke. Besides, if Caleb had come to know anything about Jake by

now, it was that he used these later hours of the day to work on the computer. He surely wouldn’t break that routine just because they’d had sex last night. If anything, he probably felt as uncertain and weird about the whole thing as Caleb did, and so would bury himself even deeper into his work, not less. “You talked me into it.” Caleb pulled out a chair and took a seat. ***** “You okay, Caleb?” Cain took a seat next to Luke on the couch while Caleb fiddled with their collection of DVDs, all without reading a single title he touched with the tips of his fingers. “You seem distracted. You hardly said a word all through dinner, and that’s not like you.” Turning, Caleb threw a narrow-eyed glare at his brother. Cain raised a chestnut brow right back. “Don’t look at me like I’ve offended your delicate sensibilities. You had ample material to tease me with tonight” -- Cain lifted his sling a little bit -- “and you didn’t make one joke. You also didn’t eat much, which is equally unlike you. What’s up?” “Nothing.” Caleb linked his hands behind his neck and paced in front of the TV. Abruptly, he turned for the door. “I should probably go.” “Now I really know something’s wrong,” Cain said. “You’ve never walked away before something chocolate is served.” The brownies were still cooling on the counter, but Caleb had so much other stuff on his mind he hardly took note of their wonderfully warm, inviting smell. “Do you want to talk about it?” Cain added. Caleb forcibly tuned out the gentle tone of his brother’s voice. “No.” “Oh. Well” -- Cain’s gentleness turned even softer, kicking Caleb with its quiet hurt -- “if you ever want to talk, you know I’m here for you.”

“I’m sorry.” Pushing his hands through his hair, Caleb mentally cursed himself for his abrupt tone. “I didn’t mean to snap.” “You didn’t,” Cain assured. His guileless eyes backed up the sweet smile he always had for his loved ones. “It’s just…well, you’ve always been there for me, and I thought for once maybe I could be here for you.” Caleb knew Cain remembered that Caleb had been the one to search and find a way for Cain to become human, and thus live openly with Luke. “You don’t owe me anything.” “We owe you everything,” Luke cut in, “and don’t think we ever forget it.” Caleb started pacing again as extreme discomfort crept in. “I’d rather you did.” “I’d rather I didn’t,” Cain said, his voice firm. “I’d shout it from the goddamned rooftops if I could, so that everyone in this town, hell, this state, knew how big a hero you are.” “Okay, I’m gonna go.” Caleb made a beeline for the door. Cain shot off the couch and stepped in front of Caleb, thrusting his good hand to Caleb’s chest. “Tell me what’s bothering you.” His gaze held Caleb prisoner, the need there pummeling Caleb’s resolve. “Talk to me. I want to help.” The confusion Caleb had begun to feel, something he could now see traced all the way back to that motel room, suddenly burst through his wall. “Did you always know you were gay?” “Umm…” Cain stepped back, his attention darting from Caleb, to Luke, and then back to Caleb. Finally, he scrunched his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side. “What?” “Never mind.” “No, wait, don’t go.” Cain grabbed Caleb and dragged him to a seat, depositing him there with a firm press to his shoulder, before joining

Luke back on the couch. Their eyes met from across the small distance, and with an extreme force of will, Caleb kept himself calm so that his face didn’t go up in flames. Leaning forward, Cain spoke again. “Your question doesn’t bother me; it just surprised me. The answer is yes, I always knew I was gay. I’ve never felt sexual attraction for a woman, and I’ve never craved the kind of connection I have with Luke with a woman.” “Even during all that time before you found Luke?” Caleb asked. Due to laws in Cain’s Naverto demon clan, he could not act on his homosexual desires, and thus had lived a solitary, celibate life for one hundred and seventy-five years until Luke broke down his walls. “You never once were so damned horny you said to yourself, ‘Maybe just this once I’ll give sex with a woman a try’? Ever?” “Horny as hell? Yes.” Cain chuckled, his face heating in the way Caleb had been able to mask. “But my heart and body didn’t want a woman, so no, I never tried to substitute with a female what I couldn’t have with a man.” Caleb turned to Luke. “What about you? Same thing?” “I didn’t wake up one day and start doing everything with a dick,” Luke answered. “But I always knew how I felt and never suppressed it, even when I was in the closet. I didn’t need to find a replacement for what I wanted, so I never did.” Swearing, Caleb mumbled under his breath, “Then I don’t understand what in the hell is going on.” “Caleb, what is going on?” Cain’s voice snapped Caleb’s attention back into the moment, onto two pairs of eyes full of questions. “Are you finding yourself attracted to another man? Is someone hitting on you that you didn’t know was gay, and you don’t know how to handle it?” Caleb got up and strode a pace away, turning so that Cain and Luke wouldn’t see something in his face that might tell his secret. Clearing his throat, he tried to keep the thickness out of his normally smooth

voice. “It’s nothing I can’t handle. I shouldn’t have said anything. Thanks for dinner. I need to get home.” “You look like you’re hurting, Caleb” -- Cain’s words stopped Caleb dead in his tracks -- “and I don’t like to see you in such a state. If there’s anyone you know you can trust to keep quiet about anything you share, it’s me and Luke.” Cain certainly spoke the truth in that. Cain had spent almost two centuries never speaking a word about his desire for men, except to his brothers. Luke had worked a ranch for a number of years without any of his fellow cowboys knowing his sexual orientation. More than that, he had allowed the man who beat him and violated him to get away with the assault, all because he knew if he spoke a word of it, his sister or mother would suffer the consequences. “Come on,” Cain prodded gently. “Tell me what has you so out of your normal, teasing good mood.” The lull of confiding in someone, and maybe getting a perfectly logical answer for his sudden tumult of feelings, had Caleb turning around once again. When he shared, his voice remained incredibly low. “I find myself feeling stuff for someone. Someone completely unexpected. Someone to whom I cannot afford to let myself feel inappropriate things.” “Like what kind of stuff?” Cain asked. “Do you mean sexual?” “There is that,” Caleb admitted. Christ, he didn’t want to talk about this, but he couldn’t make himself shut up. “I don’t want to fuck him. Well, that’s not true.” This time, Caleb could not keep the heat away from his cheeks. “I’m a guy, so of course I want to fuck him. But more than that” -- Jesus, he’d never been a wallflower when talking about sex. Right now, he wanted to blend right into the western artwork hanging on Cain’s walls -- “I want him to want…you know…with me, to me.” Just thinking about Jake taking him last night, and remembering the strength and power on Jake’s end as he fucked Caleb, ran a shiver of excitement and raw sexual energy through Caleb right where he stood. Belligerent and suddenly angry with himself for his timorous stuttering, Caleb burst out with, “Damn it, I want him to fuck me, okay? I want him inside me, taking me,

pushing me into the floor with his weight on top of me, screwing me until I can’t breathe I’m so damn hot with it, okay?” “Okay.” Cain’s voice stayed amazingly calm and neutral, and that just spurred Caleb on even more. “It’s more than that, though. It’s more than just thinking about sex with him.” Caleb moved in a modified circle, gesturing with his hands and arms, animated with emotion in a way he could not see for himself. “I think about him all the time. When I’m not with him, I want to know how he’s doing, and when I am with him I want to make him happy, I want to make him smile. I want to do little things for him that will make his life easier, and I want to brag about him to other people when he does something special. I want to go to bed with him and hold him all night, and then I want to roll over and have a quickie before we share a shower and go our separate ways for the day. Then I want to meet him at the end of the day for dinner and pretend that I hear every word he’s saying, when in my mind I already have him undressed, trying to use my imagination to figure out how in the hell I can get him to go down on me and suck my dick until I come.” Caleb wanted to pull his hair out from the roots, he was so damned pissed at himself for running at the mouth. Suddenly, he rounded on his brother and Luke, looming over them both, feeling a hell of an instinctive need to defend and protect burning in his belly. “I’m thinking and imagining all of that in my head, as well as wanting the sex. Now how in the fuck do I reconcile that when I’ve never been attracted to another man in all of my life, huh? You tell me.” Cain didn’t back down from the threat that Caleb knew shone in his eyes. “You want my honest opinion?” Damn it, sometimes he wanted to throw a punch right at his brother’s square jaw. “I wouldn’t have fucking said anything if I didn’t.” “Brother,” Cain said, his voice lovingly indulgent in that way that made Caleb want to scream. “I think, for the first time, you’re falling in love.” Chapter Ten

Falling in love. Caleb actually snorted at Cain’s words. No fucking way. Not him. “Seriously?” Rolling his eyes at his brother, Caleb threw himself back down in the recliner and propped his ankle on his knee. “I come to you asking why I’m finding a man sexually attractive, and you tell me it must be because I’m in love. You didn’t even ask how long it has been since I had a woman. Maybe I’m just hard up.” “Let me ask you something.” Cain didn’t flinch at Caleb’s taunting one bit. Nor did he break eye contact as he spoke. “Does Jake know how you feel?” Caleb’s boot thudded loudly back down to the pinewood floor. “Why did you say that?” His heart suddenly racing, Caleb kicked himself in the ass for ever starting this conversation. “Why would you think it’s Jake?” “Because you have two new people on your property.” Cain stayed infuriatingly calm, frightening Caleb with his obvious certainty. “And Gabriel doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who would inspire your protective juices. You showed Jake what you are after getting shot, when we both know you could have figured a way out of that mess. You brought Jake in when you didn’t really have a dire need to hire a foreman --” “What in the hell are you saying?” Jerking up straight, Caleb bared his teeth, like a wolf. “Jake’s doing a fantastic job.” “I know he is.” Cain didn’t skip a beat. “I didn’t say we’re not happy to have him, or that he’s not excelling. You brought him in for a reason though, Caleb, and you did a damn hard sell job when you know all Connor and I ever needed was your word that you wanted him hired. I think you saw a man suffering and took him in, thinking you could help him learn to love life again, the way you so easily do with everyone around you.”

“So what?” Caleb couldn’t stop the damn drumming of his fingers into the arms of the chair. “That doesn’t mean I’m in love with him. It doesn’t even explain my attraction to him.” “It’s a good start,” Cain insisted. “Besides,” Caleb went on, “I can’t be in love with him, because I’m not the kind of person who is meant to have that in my life. My eye is too wandering to sustain such a powerful emotion for one person for a lifetime. If I were capable of being in love, don’t you think, with the number of women I’ve been with, that it would have happened by now?” “Maybe you just never let yourself get close to any of those women in order to give it a chance,” Luke said, drawing Caleb and Cain’s attention. “I mean, think of it like this. For whatever your reasons, you probably parted ways with all of them before something could develop. Only now, you invite Jake right into your home, assuming that you can’t possibly develop intimate feelings for him because he’s another man. For that reason, you don’t really think about it as you let yourself grow closer to him. You don’t see him as someone you need to guard yourself against, so all of a sudden here’s this guy you know and care about, and who has gotten under your skin, probably more than anyone in your life who isn’t family. You didn’t think to steel yourself against developing feelings for Jake, so consequently, it just happened, all on its own, while you weren’t paying too close attention. Only now it’s too late, you’re already in it, and you don’t know how or why it happened in the first place.” Cain nodded, shifting his focus back to Caleb. “Does it really matter why it’s Jake, rather than one of the women you dated in your past?” he asked. “Why can’t you just let yourself accept that it is what it is, and work from there? You’re attracted to a man. You care deeply for another man. So what? As long as it’s real, that’s all that matters.” “Doesn’t this offend you?” In the face of two equally reared-back heads, Caleb added, “What I mean is, part of hoping that people will accept your homosexuality is making them understand that this isn’t a choice, but rather that you’re born gay. Only here I am, one hundred

and eighty years into living, suddenly saying I’m switching teams and having fantasies about men.” “I don’t think you are dealing with sexual attraction for men.” Cain held his hand up before Caleb could get a “What the hell?” out. “I think you’re dealing with an attraction to Jake, this one person, who happens to be a man. There is a difference. I don’t believe that if Jake went away you would start looking at other cowboys or gay porn. Not that I’m saying you should send Jake away so that you can get over this and go back to women. Fact of the matter is, you’ve never let yourself get this close to a woman in order to get this mixed up about your emotions. I’m happy Jake is getting to you, and if you’re both --” “I never said both.” Christ, when had this conversation become the most uncomfortable one in his life? “I didn’t say Jake had any kind of feelings for me.” Right then, Cain freaked him out, and made him want to die right on the spot. “Just in case” -- he reached in the end table drawer next to him and tossed something at Caleb -- “you need to be prepared.” Humiliation tore through Caleb as he caught the clear tube of lube. “That’s brand new, haven’t even cracked the seal. I’m gonna assume you already possess, and know, if you’ll need condoms.” “No. No.” Caleb tried to hand the stuff back, mortified right to his core. And no one had ever accused him of being a prude in his life. “I don’t need your stash.” Lifting his hand in the air, Cain refused to accept the tube, leaving it in Caleb’s hand. “You need something more substantive than the KY I’ve seen in your medicine cabinet, if you’re going to have anal sex.” “Oh my God, please stop talking. I’m sorry I brought any of this up, and I don’t want to discuss it anymore.” Caleb didn’t even know if he wanted to have sex with Jake again, no matter if they used olive oil, lube, or even just spit. His very being recoiled with every mention of the word love, knowing that such an emotion could not attach itself to him with any kind of permanency. He did not deserve it, and the one time he thought he might, the universe took it away and reminded him that he had sins for which he had yet to adequately atone.

“Caleb.” Cain squeezed his knee, bringing Caleb back to earth. “What’s really bothering you here? Is it the fact that it’s another man, or is it that, after dodging feelings such as these for your entire life, you’re suddenly knee-deep in emotions you always thought yourself too clever to get trapped up in?” “How about option C?” Having had enough of this conversation, Caleb made his way to the door. He suddenly realized going home and facing Jake would be a thousand times less awkward than the way this night had turned out. “How about that I’m damned irritated that my brother is so annoyingly in love that, every time I come to him with the slightest issue, he automatically tells me it’s the result of being in love.” Cain and Luke followed Caleb out onto the porch. “I’ve never done that before. This is the first time we’ve have a conversation like this.” Cain’s voice held such calm and reason that Caleb snapped. “Yeah, well, this is why.” Caleb slammed his truck door with a resounding crack after climbing behind the wheel. “I want a sound answer that has some intelligence behind it, and all you can give me is la-de-da cupids and arrows.” Gunning the engine, his lips twisting in a tight sneer, Caleb said, “Thanks for all your help. I’ll send Risa or Ren over to help you tomorrow.” With that, Caleb spun his wheels in the dirt, and tore out of their sight. Fucking falling in love. Yeah, right. Like Jake could ever let go of his wife enough to develop feelings for someone like Caleb. ***** As Caleb walked in his front door, he went over a mental checklist of things to say and ways to behave when he crossed paths with Jake. Keep it simple, to start. Come to think of it, that ended the list too. He didn’t want Jake to feel like he had to say anything about what they’d done, if the man didn’t want to. Caleb wouldn’t act like Cain and Luke; he refused to force Jake into an emotion that he couldn’t feel

any more than Caleb could. Jake loved his deceased wife. Period. If he hadn’t let go of her in over six years, he likely never would. Caleb ignored the little stab that hit his belly, and moved to the office door. Just as he’d thought and imagined, Jake sat behind the desk, clicking away at the computer. Saliva filled Caleb’s mouth just looking at Jake’s hard handsomeness, and he barely stifled the urge to run to Jake with a kiss, as if they were a couple meeting up at the end of a long day of work. Feeling that thought too dangerously sappy, Caleb cleared his throat, waiting for Jake to look up before he spoke. Those forest green eyes collided with his, and Caleb forgot to breathe. How to talk too.

Jake didn’t have the same problem. The flash of warmth he couldn’t stamp down at seeing Caleb again turned to chips of crystalline ice, and his lips flattened to almost nonexistent. Taking off his glasses, he carefully folded the arms and placed them on the desk. “So, you didn’t run off again.” God, that sounded a little too much like he cared, so he leaned back in his chair and affected a nonchalant position to counter his tone. “I began to wonder. Not that you can’t do what you want, but as your foreman, it helps me to know your schedule.” Something akin to confusion lit across Caleb’s gaze, and he did a little pointing gesture that went sort of up and behind him. “I was over at Forrest-Hawk helping out Luke. I left you a note.” “No you didn’t.” Jake refused to admit that he had looked, not only for the man himself, but for a short missive as well. “Yes” -- nothing in Caleb’s quick response bespoke deception -- “I did. Upstairs on your dresser mirror.” Caleb backed up and turned toward the stairs. Jake followed, unable to hold himself back. Caleb had already climbed a half dozen steps by the time Jake reached the bottom of the stairs. Caleb looked over his shoulder and added, “When I got the call from Luke on my cell, I knocked on your bedroom door to tell you. I heard the water running and knew you were already in the shower, so I let myself in.” Most all of the

bedrooms in this behemoth house had private bathrooms, Jake’s included. “I saw a receipt on your dresser and used the back of it to scratch you a quick note about where I’d be.” Caleb raced to Jake’s room, his strides long and fast. He disappeared inside before Jake caught up to the man. Caleb stood at the dresser when Jake joined him. Jake found Caleb’s gaze in the reflection, their images lit only from the hallway light. Jake flicked a fleeting glance to the four-inch slip of paper tucked into the edge of the mirror, plain as day, now that he knew where to look. “See?” Caleb pointed at it, almost as if he still didn’t think Jake would believe him. “I figured you’d be sure to see it right here at the mirror.” “I take my clothes in the bathroom and get dressed there,” Jake said, his voice dropping as he took the little piece of paper into his hand. Working at Cain and Luke’s today. Have a good day. Don’t work too hard. -- Caleb. “I keep my watch on my nightstand,” Jake said, his voice soft, faraway. “I don’t come back to this dresser after I get my clothes for the day.” He didn’t go away. He didn’t leave. Those words -- that truth -- washed over Jake, frightening him in its intensity, so much so that he shook with it. “I didn’t even think to look for a note in my bedroom. I thought you’d disappeared again.” “No.” Caleb’s voice wrapped itself around Jake like the most intimate caress. “Not this time.” Their gazes locked in the mirror, and Jake watched as Caleb’s breathing shifted to such deep breaths that his chest and flat belly rose and fell with them, rustling his dirty, snap-front shirt. His focus shifted lower, and unable to tear his eyes away, he stared as Caleb’s cock hardened beneath his jeans. The rearing length pressed so completely against the fabric Jake swore he could see the deeply ridged veins standing out in relief. Right then, he realized he hadn’t looked at Caleb’s dick last night, had only felt its burning heat firing up the palm of his hand. I want to see it entered Jake’s head, shocking the hell out of him, tearing his attention back up to Caleb’s face. He found Caleb’s half-lidded gaze shifted downward too, looking at the hard-on Jake sported in his own jeans.

Good God, he wanted to fuck Caleb again. Hard. Fast. Deep. Endlessly. Jake didn’t have a clue why he had this reaction to this one man, or why he found the sinewy, muscular line of Caleb’s body so damned beautiful. Right now, Jake just knew the erection jumping in his jeans, in addition to the pounding in his chest, told him he did. His head wanted a sound explanation for this bizarre attraction, and his soul cried that it must be trickery or demon magic. His body, however, would not let him deny. He needed inside Caleb Hawkins’s ass again. Right now. “Take me,” and “Your bedroom,” spilled out of Caleb and Jake respectively, almost at the same time, as if neither could stand to look without touching any longer. Jake grabbed Caleb by the front of his shirt and dragged him out of the room. Knowledge of his betrayal of Krista permeated the confines of his bedroom, enough to steal his breath and soften his dick. Jake got himself and Caleb out into the hallway. Looking into Caleb’s eyes, Jake saw them shining bright with something -- need maybe -and Jake couldn’t deny the unspoken request. He shoved Caleb into the wall and took his mouth in a desperate, savage kiss. Whimpering in a way that stroked Jake’s insides, Caleb loosened his jaw and let Jake inside. The immediate acquiescence helped Jake regain a bit of his control, and this time, he barely slipped his tongue inside Caleb’s mouth, only flicking it against Caleb’s nubby tip rather than shoving deep as he had done last night. Goddamnit. He had enough sense to recall the events of last night -and his distraction all day thinking Caleb had left him -- and still, Jake couldn’t stop himself from grabbing Caleb’s hard, slim hips and backwalking them into Caleb’s bedroom. Jake ached to feel himself encased in Caleb’s tight heat; he burned to come inside another body, instead of just wrapped up in his own hand. The backs of Caleb’s knees hit the edge of the bed, and when Jake would have shoved him down on it, Caleb put his hands against Jake’s chest and pushed back just a bit, breaking their kiss. “Wait.” Caleb sounded breathless, but his gaze bespoke of clarity; someone who knew exactly where he stood, and what he did. “I want

us to at least get our clothes off this time.” Although the room held only a hint of light, Jake could see clearly enough to watch Caleb’s hands clench and open in fists at his side. Goodness Lord, the man was nervous. A little chuckle suddenly escaped Caleb’s lips, and a familiar devil-may-care smile appeared. “I’ve never been on this side of sex until last night, and I think it’ll help even the playing field a little bit if we’re both equally naked.” Every layer of this encounter added more proof that Jake chose to do this with Caleb tonight. Last night, he could argue that his celibacy had hit a flashpoint at a time when Caleb stood there offering, and they engaged in a one-time act. This time, they each stuck around the property when they could have run. They’d gone from his room to Caleb’s for the specific purpose of fucking. He had slammed Caleb into the wall and kissed him again, and now Caleb wanted them to undress in front of each other. Each addition gave them even more time to think about what they did, taking away the excuse of spontaneity. Every step they took forced Jake to acknowledge that he did this willfully and knowingly, all with thoughts of his wife still fresh in his mind. If Jake did this right now, there would be no excuse he could give Krista to absolve himself; he would essentially tell her that he rated carnal gratification above the sanctity and preservation of their marriage vows. “You don’t have to.” Caleb’s voice cut through the torment of Jake’s thoughts, dragging him back into the moment, where he stood beside another man’s bed with the choice of sex, or honoring the selfless, boundless love of his wife. “I can…” Something seemed to catch in Caleb’s throat. Clearing it, he finished, “I can bend over like before, if you need me to.” The vulnerability in the thickness of Caleb’s voice, as he clearly forced himself say those words, cut Jake open in a place he hadn’t let himself feel in years. As he experienced it, he reached for the buttons on his shirt, undoing them one at a time, all the while unable to break the hold of Caleb’s blue, blue eyes. In his soul, Jake whispered, Krista, I’m sorry.

Chapter Eleven

Each man watched the other as they undressed, matching clothing piece for piece until they stood in front of each other naked, two hard bodies honed to physical perfection from the daily grind of ranch work. A pair of equally firm cocks jutted out from dark nests of curls, allowing neither Jake nor Caleb the chance to say this coming together didn’t excite them -- sexually, at the very least. A thick scar on Caleb’s abdomen drew Jake’s attention, and he reached out and ran his fingers over the raised line of flesh. Before him, Caleb drew in a sharp breath, his stomach pulling in as he did it. Jake snatched his hand back, darting his gaze up to Caleb’s. He found wide pupils waiting for him, the blue of Caleb’s irises overtaken, leaving them a small, barely discernable ring. The cutting line of the man’s cheekbones burned darker than the rest of his face too. “I don’t understand it one damn bit,” Caleb said, the wonder in his tone backing up his words, “but your mere touch excites me more than anything I’ve experienced in a long time, like an electric wire on my skin. I don’t have any control over my body’s responses.” As if Jake might require further proof, at that exact moment, a pearl of precum beaded on the tip of Caleb’s penis, growing so big and heavy that it dropped off, landing on the hardwood floor between their bare feet. “The scar made me curious,” Jake hastened to explain. God, he didn’t know what in the hell to do. He stood there in the buff with another equally nude man, sporting a pair of hard-ons like they were going out of style. He just didn’t know the proper etiquette for watching someone drip on the floor -- apparently because of Jake’s simple touch. Thinking about that truth leaked a drop out of Jake just then. For him, though, before it fell, Caleb reached out and grazed Jake’s slit with the pad of his pointer finger, transferring the thick liquid to his digit, making Jake gasp at the slight touch. Caleb took that little bit of jizz to his lips and paused, obviously not sure what to do. Jake didn’t have any reason to doubt Caleb’s repeated confessions that he had never done anything like this with a man, but

every uncertain moment, like this one, reaffirmed for Jake that they went into this new territory equally blind. Caleb, for all of his extra years of living as a demon -- although Jake didn’t know if that should make a difference -- clearly didn’t know what in the hell he should do in this moment any more than Jake did. “Your scar.” Deliberately this time, Jake ran his fingers over the puckered line again, the effect of which had Caleb trembling and pushing out another dab of pre-ejaculate. “How’d you get it?” “Gored by a bull.” Caleb stared down at Jake’s cock as he spoke, and Jake just started leaking his reaction, no control at all. “As you get to know me, you’ll realize that even though I’m careful, I’m pretty accident prone. The closer you look the more physical proof you’ll see of that, beyond this scar and the bullet wounds. I’m a klutz.” “I find that hard to believe.” Stealing moments watching Caleb walk when no one was around to notice him noticing, Jake saw a very different Caleb than the way the man described himself. “I think you move with an incredible amount of grace and smoothness. Deliberate, but like you have all day to get there, and you know you will.” “Thank you.” Caleb snapped his gaze up, and held out his finger. “I don’t want this,” he said, out of nowhere. He still had the sheen of Jake’s precum on his finger. An unexpected sinking hit Jake’s middle. “Oh.” “I want that.” Caleb pointed at Jake’s rearing cock instead. Caleb’s hand shook a little bit, and he curled one bare foot over the other, rubbing, as if cold. That one simple little gesture rolled a protective wave right through Jake’s being. Without accord, he stepped even closer into Caleb’s personal space and wrapped his hand around his own spike-stiff prick. “Take it.” Jake’s voice came out hard, like an order, when he didn’t mean to sound that way at all. “I’m sorry…Oohhh, God…” His apology sank into a moan as Caleb dropped to his knees and took the head of Jake’s cock into his mouth. “That feels so fucking good.”

Wet heat surrounded the mushroom head of Jake’s dick, forcing everything but instant, physical need out of his mind. He hadn’t felt a tongue or a pair of lips on his penis in over six years, and he had very nearly forgotten what a blowjob -- even an extremely abbreviated one like this -- could do to a body. Jake’s muscles automatically tightened, craving more, but he dug his feet into the floor and commanded himself not to thrust his hips into Caleb’s face. He couldn’t stop his fingers from drifting through Caleb’s dark, surprisingly silky hair, though, and holding his head up at a little angle to get a better view of that wonderful mouth spread open around his thick, rigid shaft. Cornflower blue eyes looked up at him, completely open, no shutters blocking his soul at all. Jake’s heart seized, terrifying him in its intensity. He didn’t want to deal with anything other than another man briefly filling a sexual need, but what he saw in Caleb’s gaze spoke of a desire for acceptance and love -- something Jake didn’t have in him to give to anyone ever again. Unable to look into Caleb’s eyes anymore without cracking, Jake wrapped his hand around Caleb’s arm and pulled him off the floor. “I need to fuck you right now.” He spun Caleb around and shoved him on the bed, forcing him to face away. Jake lowered himself to the mattress behind Caleb, shivering at the closeness of their naked bodies. “I can’t wait.” Crowding in from behind, Jake slid one of Caleb’s legs forward at an angle and spooned him from shoulder to toe. “Wait!” Caleb reached back and stopped Jake in his tracks with a squeezing palm around his thigh. Fingers dug into muscle, reminding Jake of the matching physical power in the body in front of him. “In my jeans, I have stuff you can use…made especially for this…to make it easier, for both of us.” For about a second, horror at what people must have thought when Caleb went to the store and bought special anal lube attacked every sense of privacy living inside Jake. He figured everyone must surely know what he and Caleb did in this house. Or maybe he got it from his brother? No. Didn’t really matter. Jake rolled over anyway, too far gone to stop now. He leaned down to grab Caleb’s discarded jeans off the floor, relaxing a little as he rationalized that, in either case, Caleb had a reputation with women that extended beyond this town into the

rodeo circuit, and that nobody would think anything beyond what Caleb showed the world. Nobody would ever suspect that Caleb Hawkins gave up his ass for another man. Let alone that he would do it for an average-looking loner like Jake. “Did you change your mind?” Caleb’s voice drifted back to Jake with a terrible, vulnerable softness, snapping him out of his momentary paralysis. “I don’t think I could even if I wanted to.” The confession slipped out of Jake before he could pull it back, angering him at the weakness he revealed. His movements suddenly turning jerky, he tore the protective seal off the new tube of lube and popped the hinged cap. Jake squeezed a dab of lube on two fingers, and a gurgly, plopping sound overtook the silence in the room. Using his other hand, Jake pried Caleb open in the rear, feeling down with his thumb until he hit the starburst texture of Caleb’s sphincter, eliciting a sucking-in gesture and a gasp. Quickly, Jake smeared the lube over and around the entrance, slicking up the area as best he could without shoving his fingers inside. That done, he rubbed some of the stuff over his cock, wincing at how fucking hard he still was. Jesus God, nothing they’d said or done so far had slowed him down or deterred his need to get inside one damn bit. “Ready?” Jake pressed himself against Caleb, and had to stifle a moan as Caleb’s heat radiated back at him, taking him over, as it had done so completely last night. Gritting his teeth against losing himself to it, Jake slid his leg in between Caleb’s and fitted the head of his cock to Caleb’s puckered hole. “Do it,” Caleb ordered. Lying somewhere between on his side and on his stomach, the man had his arm stretched across the bed with his hand curled over the edge. All sinewy, corded lines, Caleb’s stark, male beauty stole Jake’s breath away. “Christ, Jake” -- Caleb’s voice sounded muffled against his arm and the pillow -- “I want you so fucking bad. Don’t make me wait any more.” Something about the way this man said his name pushed Jake beyond the point of no return. Holding Caleb in place with a hand on his hip,

Jake pushed against Caleb’s opening, meeting that same initial resistance as last night. He pressed again, harder, sliding the flat of his hand down the front of Caleb’s lightly furred flank and into the mattress, and then levering his weight to push against Caleb’s bud. Caleb made a little mewling sound, rotating his ass back against Jake, making Jake a little crazy with the “come-hither” flirtiness in the move. If he didn’t know a decent bit about Caleb’s success with women, he would think the man a bit of a tease. Damn it, Jake wanted to plug that hole deep and make Caleb cry out for real, rather than as a form of foreplay. Needing a better angle for access, Jake shifted Caleb completely onto his stomach and slid between his spread legs. After adjusting his cock back into place, Jake braced his hands on either side of Caleb’s back and applied pressure on that resistant entrance, bearing down with rock after rock of his hips, until on the fifth or so effort Caleb’s back door collapsed and Jake finally slid inside. A groaning, choking sound escaped from Caleb. Reacting partially to that, Jake pushed his way in deeper, his eyes practically rolling back in his head at the unfathomably tight inferno of Caleb’s rectum eating up his cock, pulling him into its cocoon of snug heat. He withdrew all the way and sank back in before Caleb’s little pucker closed up on him, taking that smooth channel again, this time bumping up against that second wall of resistance. He forced his way through until he took Caleb’s ass to the hilt. It felt so damn good he pulled out and did it again, sliding back in fast and deep, grinding until the base of his prick kissed the stretched ring of Caleb’s asshole. Just then, Caleb jerked and grunted beneath him, and his hands -- spread out wide on either side of him -- twisted great handfuls of bed linens into his clenched fists. Guilt and horror overtook Jake as he noticed those white-knuckled fingers holding Caleb anchored to the bed. “Am I hurting you?” He made himself stare at those digits while shame filled his clenching belly. Jake breathed deeply through his nostrils so that he did not move. “I can stop if you need me to.” “No!” Caleb practically yelped the word. “Don’t stop. Please. It just burns some.” He turned his head on the pillow and looked back at

Jake at an awkward angle, pinned down on the bed as he was. The light from the hallway captured his features, and Jake caught the layer of perspiration coating Caleb’s face, matting the hairs around his forehead and temples to his skin. Eyes blinking rapidly, Caleb’s back lifted and lowered as the man took a big, steadying breath. “Can you go slowly for a few thrusts?” he asked, each word coming across so tentatively. “Until I get used to you being there?” Goddamnit, right then Caleb’s chute squeezed against Jake’s dick with mind-blowing tightness. Jake wanted nothing more than the freedom to pound away until he spent himself within that dark tunnel of ass. Shit. “Yeah, no problem.” Jake wrapped his arm under Caleb’s stomach, rolled them both back onto their sides, and prayed like hell his body’s needs didn’t turn him into a liar. Tucking his chin against Caleb’s shoulder, Jake started an agonizingly measured pump in and out of Caleb’s amazingly snug channel. With a small gasp, Caleb bumped his hips back against Jake’s front, drawing a teeth-clenching groan from Jake. “Mmm, yeah, that feels nice,” Caleb murmured. Damn it, the guy really was a natural tease. Jake slid his leg in between Caleb’s and pushed up, giving him a little more length as punishment for tormenting him with that little gyration. Caleb just wiggled back again, sending the nerve endings in Jake’s cock crying for more friction. Jake pushed into Caleb’s steaming, grabbing rectum, his motion smooth as silk again. “Tell me how this feels, Hawkins.” Reaching between their joined bodies, Jake felt for that thin patch of flesh he knew made the top of his head feel like it would explode when he touched it on himself. “Tell me how you like this.” He rubbed the tips of two fingers over that softness, using a firm, slow touch. Caleb groaned and bucked in front of him, and Jake watched the man’s cock curl up hard against his belly. Jake glided his fingers over the area again, making Caleb whimper and reach for his own dick, stroking the length with over-handed, hard pulls. “Guess you like that, huh?” An incredible sense of power rippled through Jake. It rocked him to his core as he realized he wanted more

than self-gratification out of this convenient coupling; he now understood he wouldn’t feel completely satisfied unless Caleb came too. “Tell me what else you like.” He knew if he kept touching in the same area it would get old very quickly, and cease to draw such a powerful response. “What else can I do?” “You can fuck me harder.” Caleb rocked back with earnestness and force, sending Jake right into a tailspin. “I want to feel you moving inside me, and I’m ready to take it.” Caleb’s words -- so goddamned seductive and innocent at the same time -- grabbed equally at Jake’s chest and prick, pulling him under into an ocean where he no longer cared if he drowned. Caleb more than brought Jake’s cock back to life; he recharged every nerve ending in Jake’s body, catapulting him right back to that place he’d lost himself to last night. Wrapping his arm around Caleb’s waist to hold him in place, Jake slid into ecstasy as he started to thrust. With every drive of his cock into Caleb’s tight ass, and every low, moaning response from the man plastered to his front, Jake lost a little bit more of his ability to remain aloof. Caleb covered Jake’s hand where it lay against his stomach again, linking their fingers, and Jake buried his face in the other man’s neck, stifling a hoarse cry. He couldn’t deal with making this so very personal, and immediately started to fuck Caleb in earnest, sawing his dick in and out of Caleb’s scorching anus with full, hard strokes. “Ohhhh, Jesus Christ, you’re killing me.” A vibrating, warbling sound came up from Caleb’s throat, a noise Jake couldn’t identify as exquisite pleasure…or excruciating pain. Drawn out of hiding, Jake dug his fingers into Caleb’s thick head of hair and yanked the man’s head back until he could see Caleb’s eyes. “Are you all right?” “Still hurts.” Eyes shining bright, maybe with a few tears, Caleb didn’t look away from Jake’s gaze. “But it feels good too. I want you there, Jake. Don’t stop.” A powerful ache overtook Jake, and he couldn’t stop his lips from descending to Caleb’s waiting mouth for all the money in the world.

A small sob escaped Caleb as he opened up for Jake’s kiss. Jake took the sound inside himself, tasting an equal pain and need that gutted his stomach. He slipped his tongue inside the warmth of Caleb’s mouth, looking for shelter, and started them moving again. Caleb kissed him back, deepening the connection with slow sucking and licking. He held Jake’s hand to his hard, hot belly, and not only accepted the invasion of Jake’s cock into his body, but rubbed back against him, seeking even more depth of penetration. Trembling, Jake took Caleb with rougher hits, seeking salvation from his emotions in primal, sexual release. Every little bit of Caleb’s response permeated Jake’s very pores, taking over every vein of blood and strand of DNA on the inside, just as much as his body responded to the physical touch on the outside. Knowing he was near to losing the battle, Jake untangled his fingers from Caleb’s and reached down, taking the man’s velvet-hard cock in his hand. “We come together,” he muttered against Caleb’s lips, pushing the sentiment inside him, demanding that he lose himself in this mating too. All Jake could think was that if Caleb came hard with him, he wouldn’t notice Jake’s exposed emotions. Jake started dragging his fist up and down Caleb’s rigid length, drawing a squeak past Caleb’s lips, and erratic back and forth movement from his hips. “Deeper, damn it. Please.” Jake felt Caleb’s order more than heard it, but the next words hit his ears like a drug. “Fuck and jerk me harder, baby. I want to come, just for you.” Jake didn’t know if “baby” or “just for you” did it, but he lost the battle right then and there. So fast he didn’t even feel it coming on, he took Caleb’s mouth in a savage kiss to cover his shout as he came. His cock swelled painfully big inside the narrow confines of Caleb’s anus seconds before he exploded, shuddering through every muscle in his body with his release, as for the second time in as many nights, he spilled his seed inside his boss’s ass. Caleb sucked in a deep breath, stealing their shared air, and his entire body went stiff as stone in front of Jake. “Oh, Christ, you feel good coming inside me.” His channel clamped harder than a vise all around Jake’s embedded cock, stealing all coherency from both men. Jake

didn’t even get one more drag of his fist up the length of Caleb’s pulsing, hot dick before the man bit Jake’s lower lip and spewed, shooting long lines of ejaculate across the bedspread, coming in great, convulsing waves. Watching Caleb come excited Jake unbearably, making his cock jump where it still rested, buried all the way inside Caleb’s ass. The bite from Caleb would show on his lip come the morning, and that disturbed Jake a hell of a lot too. More so actually, because he knew when he saw the mark reflecting back at him in a mirror he would remember Caleb had done it as a result of his loss of control when feeling Jake orgasm inside him. God, Jake didn’t want to have thoughts like that, whenever and wherever he happened to catch a glimpse of his face. He didn’t want to know that inappropriate thoughts of Caleb could enter his mind at the drop of a hat, reminding him that he succumbed to his sexual frustration so completely that he took another man to ease the pain. He already felt like he saw pieces of Caleb everywhere he looked on this property. If the man now haunted him with visions of acts that should not exist within Jake for anyone other than Krista… Damn it. It freaked Jake the hell out to know Caleb would now live inside his head too. His heart suddenly racing so fast he felt a little dizzy, Jake pulled out and tried to roll away. Caleb still had his hand locked under his, though, and even though they now both stared out the window into the starless, midnight blue night -- pretending that this hadn’t happened, again -- Jake felt the plea in Caleb’s squeezing touch. Don’t go. Everything in Jake screamed that he disentangle himself and run. That one death grip on the back of his hand reached right inside Jake, though, and wouldn’t let go. It went deep down inside, to a long unused place he could not ignore, one that would not let him slink away. He settled against Caleb, and stayed.

Chapter Twelve

Jake snuggled into the furnace of hot, hard body in front of him, and rubbed his palm in a little circle against the wall of flat muscle under his hand. It didn’t take long for his morning erection to stiffen with full life, and then seek relief against the flesh of its mate. Nudging, seeking entry, Jake’s prick settled for pushing between a pair of legs and rubbing, the heat of which had him rocking the length of his dick through the seam of thick thighs in a search for more friction. He slid his hand down a flank of furry thigh, and nuzzled his face into the corded tendons in front of his mouth, licking the salty flavor of sweat with a murmur of appreciation. God, he tastes good in the morning. Wait. He? Jake jerked as the memory of the night before hit him, and sent him reeling. Oh, God, I spent the night with him. More than that, Jake held the man all through the night, and woke up touching him as if they had shared such intimacy forever. Right now, he still had his cock -leaking, hard, and poking up -- sandwiched between Caleb’s thighs, asking for a return trip inside Caleb’s scorching tight ass. The masculine smells of sweat, horse, and musky cum assaulted Jake’s nose, reminding him of not only how hard he had come, but the fire hydrant worth of ejaculate he’d pumped out of Caleb, directing the stuff across the width of the bed with his own guiding hand. For a second time. In as many nights. Just then, Caleb made the sexiest damn purring noise, and wiggled back against Jake from top to bottom. Jake bit his cheek to stifle a moan as every nerve ending over the front of his body snapped and fired to life. It had been such a goddamned long time since someone sought his body for warmth. Jake instinctually slid his arm around the waist in front of him and held on tight…until the first memory of holding Krista like this punched him in the gut, stealing his breath right from his body. Jake rolled away and stumbled out of bed fast, but the assault took him over faster than he could get away. He made

it to his bathroom on unsteady legs. Just managing to get into the shower, Jake turned on the water full force, and crumbled to the floor. With the torrent of water storming down over him, pictures and sensations and full-on memories of Krista overwhelmed Jake’s mind and heart. Her body, small and delicate, but somehow curvy as hell too, slipped into Jake’s vision and took over the position of spooning next to him in bed. Pale skin, smooth and supple under his fingers, had Jake curling his fingers around his erection for the first long drag. Her kittenish little mewl, throaty with sleepy arousal, filled Jake’s ears, making him cry out for her as she became real again and recaptured his heart. Her dark hair spread across the pillow, her chocolate eyes looking up at him, open and guileless, overtook Jake and had him spreading his legs so he could grab his balls and alternate a pull between them and his weeping dick. Krista’s delighted screams of love as Jake sank into her wet heat and fucked her awake forced more precum out of his cock. He writhed on the shower floor, slipping around until he was spread-eagled on his back, lifting his hips for the tug of his own hand on his prick. Suddenly, Krista rode his dick, bouncing up and down on his cock with abandon, her breasts swaying heavily as she forced herself down on his length until he had no more to give her. She leaned down over him, her hands braced above his shoulders, and dipped down until the fall of her hair cocooned them in intimacy. Jake pumped up into his wife’s welcoming pussy, and they both clenched their teeth as her walls squeezed down on his buried length and held him inside. Her brown eyes twinkled down on him, and she ever so slowly dragged up and released his cock, and then sank down on him again. “Goddamn it, Sunshine” -- Jake moaned and gripped Krista’s hips, and moved her faster over his too-sensitive penis -- “you know just how to move to make me come. Get ready to take it…” His testicles swelled, and then pulled up unbearably tightly. “Right” -- he slammed up into her one last time -- “now!”

She reared up and threw her head back, screaming as Jake came and filled her cunt full of his cum. “Krista, Krista, Krista.” Jake pumped up into his wife through each spasm of his orgasm, burying his fingers into her soft hips to hold her down for his seed. Then, under his fingers, the hips Jake gripped changed to narrow and hard. The opening Jake penetrated grew smaller, and tighter, and hotter. The weight that bore down on his embedded prick had strength and power and male vigor. And when Jake thrust his dick up into that hole with a resurgence of cum, he moaned, “Caleb, oh fuck, Caleb,” and came all over again. For Caleb. Not for his wife. Oh, God, baby… Anger and shame flooded Jake, drowning him. I betrayed you again. He punched the wall with everything in him, and then curled up on his side, letting the now cold water freeze him from the outside in. More and more, Caleb Hawkins slipped into Jake’s very being, now invading his most private fantasies too. He didn’t know how to preserve the sanctity of something that had always belonged to Krista. Something that should only belong to her. Jake didn’t want to leave this place. At the same time, he would not bury the memory of his wife as he’d done with her body. Jake would be strong when he came across Caleb next. He would fight this fierce sexual pull that he did not understand. He had to. He owed it to Krista. ***** Caleb stirred in bed, yawning and stretching, and then wincing at the tenderness in his ass. Without having to look or reach out, Caleb knew Jake no longer shared his bed. He had fallen asleep with a furnace of insane heat at his back last night, surrounding him really, and now he felt only the chill in the morning air, creating goose bumps along his exposed chest, back, and arms.

Rejection burned in his belly, but Caleb determinedly shook it off and dragged himself out of bed. Jake didn’t owe Caleb a damn thing, and he actually considered it darn near a miracle that the man stayed with him in bed for as long as he did. He knew Jake had wanted to run the minute they both came last night. Even knowing that, Caleb couldn’t stop the clamp he’d put on Jake’s hand, begging him, without words, to stay. Caleb didn’t understand what in the hell was happening to him. Never before had he exposed himself with such neediness to another person, sexually or otherwise. At least, not in more than a fucking century, and that had been to his now brothers. Something about Jake sucked Caleb in, making him say and do things without thinking them through, and worse, without control. He forced himself to his feet, pausing to pull the cum-smeared comforter off the bed. Caleb snorted as he thought about his strange, vulnerable behavior with Jake, but figured he had some protection over other people learning of this sudden descent into sappy, romantic drivel. That being: Jake didn’t want anyone to know about how far they’d each succumbed in this bizarre liaison any more than Caleb did. It would be their little secret, for as long as Jake wanted it. Taking the time to strip the sheets too, Caleb paused as the delectable, heavenly smell of frying bacon reached his nose and made his mouth water. He sniffed deeper, reaching another layer, and got a hint of toasting bread too. His stomach rumbled with a dull roar, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten much at Cain and Luke’s last night. His mind too focused on Jake, it had been difficult to shove food down his throat. Caleb dropped the rumpled pile of bedclothes as the memory that only one other person had reason to be in this house anymore rocked through him. It also hit him that in the time they’d shared this space, Caleb couldn’t ever recall Jake cooking a big breakfast. He’s making me a meal. Caleb couldn’t stop the acrobats doing somersaults in his stomach, and he just prayed to God they settled down so he could eat some of Jake’s food. He didn’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings.

Quickly, unable to slow himself down, Caleb slipped into his jeans from last night and tore down the stairs, sliding himself to a halt a dozen steps away from the entrance to the kitchen. For Christ’s sake, he didn’t want to barrel in there like a teenager greeting his first girlfriend -- or boyfriend, he guessed. He needed to show a little maturity and cool. He was a fucking one-hundred-eighty-year-old demon, goddamnit. He had been around the block a time or two in his past. As he entered the kitchen, a nagging little voice in Caleb’s head told him, “Yeah, but it has never been like this.” Those doom-filled words became white noise in his head the second Caleb got his first look at Jake. Standing at the stove with his back turned, wearing fresh jeans and a faded black flannel shirt, his hair still damp from a shower, the man managed to look sexy as all get out. Caleb stood there a little breathless, with the thought I want to run over there, tear everything off, and spread myself open so he can fuck me all over again. Schooling himself to calm down, Caleb squeezed his fists together and counted to ten. He settled himself enough to walk over to Jake in a controlled manner, but that was about it. He moved in behind Jake and wrapped his arms around the man’s waist, hugging him close, and burying his face in the crook of Jake’s neck. “Mornin’.” Jake felt so damn good pressed up against his body that Caleb added, “You smell good,” before he noticed the first sign of trouble. Jake stood before Caleb strung tighter than a bow, every muscle rigid as he kept his face level, staring forward at the wall. Frissons of painful awareness attacked Caleb all at once, quickly replacing the warmth within him to a chill. He noticed the empty frying pan on the burner. Glancing to his left, Caleb saw a paper towel with what looked like an egg and bacon encased between two slices of toast. One sandwich, clearly for Jake to eat on the run. Not a breakfast cooked for Caleb because of what they did together last night. And damn it, Caleb thought, his insides seizing as he stepped away from the statue in front of him, he didn’t mean the sex. Jake finally turned around, but Caleb kept his gaze focused to the right of Jake’s head, unable to look Jake in the eyes right now. Not

with such humiliation burning through him, incinerating a stupid little fantasy right down to ash. “I apologize,” Caleb murmured. “I presumed too much.” Christ, he hated the scratchiness he heard in his own voice. Memories of past rejections assaulted Caleb with debilitating, hard jabs to his chest, reminding him that he’d hurt a number of people far too badly to deserve a guy like Jake leaning back into him and accepting a good morning hug. For just a few hours, Caleb had stupidly let himself forget that, but he wouldn’t do it again. For him, sex was just that: sex. He reminded himself that just because Jake had a dick rather than a pussy didn’t change that truth one bit. “We took care of a need.” Caleb forced himself to speak the words aloud as he backed away to the door. He made himself hear them hit the air, and forced himself to swallow the base clinical truth of what they did together. “I shouldn’t have taken what we did out of the bedroom.” “Caleb --” “No, it’s all right.” Damn it, he’d fucking been alive for far too long to stand here and listen to pity in another person’s voice. Reckless anger at his own idiocy reared up inside Caleb, stirring the demon within. Stamping that damned animal back down into the darkness, Caleb refused to let volatile emotions control the situations in which his other half showed itself. He had learned to master that aspect of his life long ago. “You don’t have to worry. I won’t take this beyond the parameters of relieving sexual frustration again. Excuse me, would you? I have to get ready for work.” Caleb disappeared, knowing that if he stayed around and heard Jake brush him off with kindness, he’d lose his grip on the demon and scare the shit out of Jake right there in his state-of-the-art, fluorescent-lit kitchen. Even Caleb didn’t deserve an indignity like that.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” His promise to put an end to this thing he had started with Caleb so fresh in his mind, Jake didn’t know what in the

hell to do. God, his love for Krista, and his vows to her, should be enough to give him the strength he needed in order to fight through this powerful physical attraction to Caleb Hawkins. If physical desire was the only thing Jake had to overcome, he felt certain he could stamp it down enough to never act on the sexual pull between them again. Problem for Jake was, the desire to run to Caleb right now didn’t have anything to do with sex. Didn’t matter that a dozen feet had separated them after Caleb backed away; Jake still felt the hurt radiating off Caleb in buffeting, crushing waves. Caleb had stiffened his back and pushed the vulnerability down far enough to hide it from prying eyes, but Jake saw the pain before Caleb covered it up. Its power buckled Jake’s legs, and hacked a mile-wide hole right through his resolve to stay away. How do you get to me like this, without even trying? “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” Jake bit off again, low and rough. He exited the kitchen, his breakfast forgotten. ***** Caleb stood under the stinging rain of his shower, still kicking himself in the ass for making such a stupid, egotistical assumption that Jake would not only make him breakfast, but also accept his casual touches. They’d had sex all of twice, he reminded himself ruthlessly. That not only didn't make them a couple, it didn’t even mean they were dating. Where in the hell had Caleb gotten off thinking he could hug Jake like that? They weren’t even gay, for God’s sake. He didn’t know what they were. Someone close by who could scratch the other’s itch, he guessed. Which made Caleb wonder: where did this sudden craving to have a man, this man, fuck him come from, anyway? Why did his very body come alive with just the thought of Jake getting inside him again? He hadn’t even reached full physical pleasure merely from the act itself yet. Having Jake’s cock in his ass still felt very weird, and in some moments actually hurt a little bit. But holy fuck, knowing that it was Jake, and that Jake got off on it, kept Caleb hard through the entire time last night. Feeling stretched by Jake’s body, and experiencing the

heat of his orgasm, had pushed Caleb to coming himself. He hadn’t needed Jake’s hand wrapped around his dick to get him there. Caleb stirred as he thought about that big, rough hand pulling on his meat. Chuckling, he admitted he didn’t need it, but he for damn sure liked it. Christ, I am in such big trouble. He sobered quickly, knowing he would only hate himself more if he started pushing his thoughts to places they should not go. In the direction of Connor and Cassie, Luke and Cain, Risa and Duke, and Ren and Cade. Toward dreams of permanence, full acceptance…and love. All things Caleb knew he could not have. At least, not without the awareness that a higher power would take it away from him as soon as he let himself forget and be truly happy. If Jake knew the truth of Caleb’s former life, he would more than stop this crazy sexual connection; he would turn away from Caleb forever in disgust. His heart heavy at that thought, Caleb knew he could never slip -The shower door slid open, stealing every last thought right from Caleb’s mind. Naked as the day God sent him into this world, Jake stepped into the stall and pushed the glass closed again. “What are you… Why are you…?” Jesus Christ, Caleb couldn’t even form coherent thoughts when around this man anymore. Staring at Jake while water ran in rivulets down the rough-hewn hardness of his body, with an erection growing thick and poking straight out right before his very eyes, Caleb had never felt so flustered in his life. He suddenly saw himself slipping his arms around Jake down in the kitchen, and then pulling away at the coldness he received in response. The absolute mortification of being so wrong flamed within Caleb again, and he forced himself to lift his head and meet Jake’s gaze. “You didn’t have to come in here.” He didn’t so much as flinch, even though every fiber of his being wanted to curl up into a little ball and disappear. “I’m fine.” “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.” That elicited the small, visible jerk Caleb had managed to hide before. “You didn’t.”

His jaw ticking like it had its own heartbeat, Jake backed Caleb into the shower wall, his eyes darkening beyond the colors of the forest. “I don’t want to want you.” Lifting his hand, he cupped Caleb’s cheek and slid his fingers into Caleb’s wet hair. His thumb brushed along the underside of Caleb’s jaw, making Caleb shiver. “Not sexually, and for damn sure not in any other way.” He leaned in close and brushed his mouth across Caleb’s, barely tasting, and then rested his lips there. “My wife owns my heart and always --” “Shh.” Caleb wedged his finger in between their lips, and put it against Jake’s mouth. “You don’t owe me one more word.” Jake wrapped his hand around Caleb’s wrist and pulled his hand between their bodies, going on as if Caleb never spoke. “But at the same time, I don’t like what I did to you downstairs.” It seemed, of their own accord, Jake and Caleb’s entwined fingers drifted down past their stomachs and captured their cocks. Stroking the two hard lengths between them, both men stared into each other’s eyes as their breathing hitched. They began to roll and pull their dicks together, harder, no sense of rhythm or style at all. Caleb moaned, his hips twitching with every rubbing touch, his gaze glued to Jake’s tooharsh-to-be-handsome face, one that filled all of Caleb’s dreams lately. Wet…and otherwise. “I don’t know what in the hell is happening between us.” Jake made the entire sentence sound like an angry curse. The hard kiss that followed punctuated his agitated position by driving Caleb’s head into the shower wall, holding it there for a thorough plundering of his mouth that left Caleb feeling handled -- and weak in the knees for it. Jake bit at Caleb’s swollen, sensitized lips before pulling back, showing a green glaze cloudy with desire, whether he wanted it to be or not. “I may not have any idea what the fuck I’m doing here, but I’m not a robot either. I saw what I did to you down in the kitchen when I pushed you away” -- he bit off an expletive, desire turning to fire as he clearly relived the moment -- “and I don’t want to be responsible for putting pain in another person like that ever again.” Feeling stripped naked, well beyond his clothing, Caleb reached for the safety of the familiar. He leaned forward, pressed his body against

the solid wall of Jake, and writhed like an animal in heat. Leaning in, he touched his lips against the hard line of Jake’s and uttered, “Put your fingers in my ass, cowboy, and make me come.” Jake reared back, his eyes as big and round as Caleb had ever seen on a person. “Wh --” The sound came out as nothing more than a little yelp. Clearing his throat, Jake tried again. “What did you say?” “You heard me.” Bringing one of Jake’s hands to his mouth, Caleb slipped two of the man’s fingers between his lips and started to suck. He circled his tongue around the callused, long length, dipping in between the webbing, coating the skin with as much saliva as he could. Jake gasped, his mouth dropping open as his focus shifted entirely to his digits moving forward and back through the seam of Caleb’s lips. A sizzling little jolt of power rocked through Caleb, renewing his former sexual confidence. He knew Jake imagined those fingers were his dick, and that in his mind right now he had Caleb on his knees, sucking his cock for every damn thing it was worth. A guy who believed himself one move away from a blowjob would do just about anything his partner asked. Even stick his fingers in another man’s asshole. Caleb could not explain why he needed Jake to take him in that way so badly; he just knew in his very soul that he did. As he let Jake’s fingers slide from between his lips, Caleb lifted his foot onto the little shelf for the soap, creating space for a more intimate touch. Caleb drew Jake’s hand down between his spread legs to his tight little bud, not taking his hand away until he felt a light pressure from the tip of Jake’s finger against his quivering hole. Unable to hold back a moan at just that slight touch, Caleb rocked his body into Jake’s hand. “Penetrate me, Jake.” He couldn’t look away from the intensity in Jake’s stare, eyes both on each other, no longer on body parts in between. “I need to feel some part of you inside me again.” Swearing, Jake moved in and captured Caleb’s mouth in a possessive kiss. At the same time, he jammed his middle finger through Caleb’s resistance and into his ass.

“Ohhh, fuck…” Bucking into the still foreign touch, Caleb grasped Jake’s arms and held on as his rectum squeezed down on the invasion. He still couldn’t say it felt good, but Christ, how he wanted more. “Another, another,” he chanted, biting at Jake’s lips, frantic for all things intimate and sexual with this man. “Push a second finger in there.” Fisting a handful of Caleb’s hair, Jake drew his head back until half a dozen inches separated their faces. “I don’t want to hurt you.” “You won’t.” He reached down and clutched at Jake’s arm, holding him there, fingers digging into solid, muscular flesh. “I’m so damn close to it being mind-blowing. Help me get there.” Bearing down on Jake’s long finger, Caleb tried to steal more for himself. “Please.” Jake wiggled his finger in Caleb’s anus, stretching his opening to force in another digit. When he did, he touched over the sweet spot Caleb had heard so much about, but had never had anyone want to try and find on him. “Oh, Jesus, Jake. Right there, baby. Right there.” Hissing as Jake rubbed right over the kill zone again, Caleb almost couldn’t breathe through the pleasure that raced through his body with the speed of light. “Don’t fucking stop.” “Won’t,” Jake muttered, his face looking almost as tight with pleasure as Caleb knew his must appear. “You’re holding me in there so damn tight.” He pulled all the way out and pushed back in, fucking Caleb with his fingers for a few strokes, driving him nuts before going back to that concentrated touch. “You look so goddamned beautiful when you’re aroused that you’re gonna make me come just by watching you.” His heart slipping into dangerous territory, Caleb ignored the warning to pull back, promising instead to brace himself for the eventual fall. “I love it when you come.” He pulled their cocks together again and started a furious rubbing, hard to the point of pain, somehow knowing that Jake would want it that way too. “Come on me, Jake. Mark me with your scent.” Jerking at Caleb’s words, the heel of Jake’s hand pressed into Caleb’s perineum, and the dual pressure rocketed Caleb right into the stratosphere. With fingers buried in his ass, and his cock straining

against the burning hard heat of Jake’s, Caleb came with an incoherent, hoarse shout. He spurted hot spits of ejaculate against Jake’s groin, his ass clenching so hard he sucked Jake’s fingers inside him past the second knuckle. Powerful sensations of closeness, of harmony, attacked Caleb with hammering force. He threw himself at Jake, taking the man’s mouth in a fierce kiss, lest he leave his lips free and speak something dangerous, of which he had no right. Needing just a little bit more, Caleb slid his tongue inside, seeking a taste of Jake that he could take with him, until this insanity overtook them and they came together again. Kissing and milking at the same time, Jake took Caleb into the wall with his weight, shuddered, and came all over Caleb’s stomach, warming him with his essence. He never once broke the connection of their mouths as he did it. Nothing scared Caleb more than how very right it felt sharing a morning shower with Jake Chase -- except for feeling the man orgasm because of his kiss. The emotional ramifications of that terrified Caleb all the way to his core. Chapter Thirteen

Jake hung back from the small crowd gathered around the bull riding ring for as long as he could, choosing instead to work behind the horse barn, helping Gabriel and Ren wash down the last of the horses, a job he absolutely had no need to do himself. When they finished up with the last animal and led him back to his stall, Jake had no good excuse to give Ren and Gabriel for not walking with them to watch Risa work out on the bull stock, and so had followed with a benign “Let’s go take a look.” As soon as he said it, his chest started knocking hard, knowing that Caleb would be there too. Crossing paths off and on all day with Caleb while they each worked independently had tested Jake’s focus, not to mention his ability to keep a perpetually half-hard dick hidden from a bunch of goodnatured cowboys. Knowing that he couldn’t bury his attraction to Caleb bothered the hell out of Jake; he couldn’t imagine the nightmare

his life would become if other people saw the turmoil living inside him too. Unfortunately, if he darted off to the house with no good reason, that would rouse more suspicion than just walking over to the railing, making an appearance, and then going inside to eat. Jake snorted to himself at that lame-ass excuse. Almost three hours had passed since he last saw Caleb, and he wanted another quick glance before he moved inside to the office and began the next step in his workday. Damn it if the man didn’t disappoint, either. Jake, Gabriel, and Ren moved in at the edge of a group of cowboys and leaned in against the rails of the paddock, getting comfortable for a show. Jake’s gaze immediately strayed to Caleb where he stood on the metal bars of the chute, waiting for their bull wranglers, Jason and Scott, to lead Caleb’s best bucker into the holding area. Caleb’s starkly handsome face and hands shifted with animation as he spoke with Risa, a quirk Jake had noted about the man all the way back to when Risa first introduced them on the rodeo circuit. Today, Caleb wore a tan western-yoked shirt and blue jeans -- clothes Jake had watched him put on this morning after their shower. His dark hair ruffled in the late afternoon breeze, and that captured Jake’s interest too. He stood there and stared, mesmerized, although, for the goddamned life of him, he didn’t understand why. He couldn’t fathom why the sight of Caleb Hawkins excited him so much when a dozen other cowboys stood around too, and didn’t do a darn thing for his cock. Hell, Risa was beautiful and certainly had the parts he’d always found arousing in his past, yet she stood on the rails right next to Caleb, and he barely saw the strawberry-haired young woman. He only had eyes for Caleb. Almost as if he sensed Jake’s presence, Caleb looked up, his gaze locking on Jake. Even with nearly twenty feet separating them, Jake felt the connection as intimately as when only six inches had separated them this morning in the shower. He knew what Caleb wanted; he sensed exactly what Caleb imagined as he looked at Jake. He’s picturing me stripping him naked and filling his sweet, willing ass again. Heaven help him, but Jake fought the urge to leap on Caleb,

wrestle him down into the dirt, and take him right here where they stood. “Hey, boss,” shouted one of the cowboys, drawing Jake’s attention. Finding the kid’s focus not on him at all, Jake belatedly realized he wasn’t the only authority figure on the property right now. He shifted his attention to where the young man’s went -- to Caleb -- and found the twinkling mirth in Caleb’s pure blue gaze waiting for him. Fucking A, the man knew just what Jake thought, and laughed at him. Heat burned under Jake’s skin, but he promised retribution in the look he gave right back to Caleb. Raising a dark brow -- a challenge that stirred Jake’s blood -- Caleb shifted his attention to the kid. “What is it, Jas?” “Haven’t seen you get on the back of a bull in a hell of a long time.” Whistles and hoots charged the air before Jasper even finished getting out his thought. “Why don’t you give us a show before you have to take Rock-n-Roll back on the tour?” “Oh, I don’t know,” Caleb hedged, even though more of that damn light shone in his eyes. “These bones are getting a little old to take a beating on a rank-ass bull like R-n-R.” Jeers and “no ways” and “come ons” drowned Caleb’s words. From right next to Jake, Ren rose above the din with, “I’ll go get your gear from the office. What do you say?” Caleb pinpointed his focus right on Jake, uncomfortably watching him for what felt like forever, but surely didn’t encompass more than a few seconds. Staring at Jake, Caleb said, “All right. You talked me into it. Go get my stuff.” Good God, he wants to show off for me. The thought so completely turned Jake on he barely heard Gabriel’s comment that he was going to use this quiet time in the bunkhouse to call his girlfriend. The young man would get all the peace he needed too, with half the damn staff hanging around the corral waiting for their boss to take a ride on the back of a professional-level bucking bull. Jake knew Caleb used to ride professionally a number of years

ago, but he had never witnessed the man’s abilities firsthand. Something about already having watched Caleb ride his fingers to orgasm this morning made Jake think he wouldn’t get through this damn little dare without fighting down a good piece of wood. He knew he couldn’t walk away, either. Fucking couldn’t bear to see the hurt in Caleb’s eyes if he did. While they waited for Ren to get back with Caleb’s stuff, Risa went ahead and tested the skills of one of Caleb’s younger bulls, a big, excited animal covered from head to toe in black fur. The bull threw her around a bit and gave some good kicks, but at this point still traveled too big a distance in the ring to make him a champ. Jake applauded when Risa made her eight seconds, but didn’t appreciate the young woman’s skill and passion as much as he normally did when he watched her ride. His focus drifted Caleb’s way time and again, his sexy as hell lines from where he balanced on the next to the top rung of the chutes getting in the way of Jake’s ability to concentrate on anything else. When he caught Caleb steal a glance in his direction, Jake knew the man deliberately put himself on display to torment Jake. Figured. The guy understood how to attract and hold a woman’s attention; he’d been doing it with the female of the species for years. He had to know the preening would work on a man too, even if he hadn’t ever experimented with it before. Jake ought to feel pissed that Caleb tried to manipulate him with his physical beauty. Should. What he actually felt? Flattered. Goddamned fucking flattered. They had time for Risa to test yet another one of Caleb’s three-yearolds before Ren returned with a big blue duffel bag in hand. As Ren handed the gear to Caleb, Jake discreetly processed everything out of the corner of his eye. Caleb suited up in black batwing chaps, dull spurs strapped around his boots, holding hand glove, and a Kevlar vest emblazoned with so many sponsorship patches Jake wondered how anybody ever uncrossed their eyes enough to read any of them. He still had his own custom bull rope, and Jake had to stifle the animal sound that wanted to escape his throat as he watched Caleb climb the gate and wait for his wranglers to lead Rock-n-Roll into the chute.

Shit. Jake had held the vests of hundreds of cowboys during his stint on the tour, and never once did he think, “Damn, I’d like to take him back to my room and fuck him until he can’t walk.” Never once had Jake held his breath or worried about any of the men -- or Risa -- as they prepared themselves to ride. He understood they had skills, and knew what they did. Nevertheless, as he watched Caleb lower himself over the bull, bracing his legs on the railing while he situated his rope around the bull’s chest and got his hand in a tight hold, concern ate at Jake that maybe Caleb shouldn’t do this, that he’d been away from riding for too long. As soon as Jake had the thought, it didn’t matter. Caleb nodded his head and pounded the railing with his free hand, signaling his readiness to ride. Scott swung the gate open with the tail end of a rope, and Rock-n-Roll shot into the ring, bucking high in front and then back right from the start. Caleb dug his knees and spurs into the animal’s tough hide, whipping his free hand high and back, and kept his hips and shoulders squared for maximum balance. Jake held his breath as the bull reared backward and went into a tight spin, pulling momentum away from Caleb’s riding hand. With full concentration on the bull, Caleb adjusted his seat quickly, and didn’t let his torso tilt off center. R-n-R gave one more good hard thrust from the hindquarters, but just as he did, Risa sounded the horn, signaling a successful eight-second ride. Cheers went up from the crowd, all men and women who clearly adored their boss. Right then, something more powerful than pride swelled in Jake, making him want to run into the ring and grab Caleb off the bull, straight into his arms. In a flash, all of that flew out of Jake’s mind. Watching from the sidelines, Caleb still looking for his chance to jump off the bull, Rock-n-Roll suddenly made a horrific braying sound and began thrashing, leaps and bounds beyond the routine he did for his job. The bull careened to the far side of the ring at full speed, jamming his shoulder into the thick slats of wood and, in the process, taking Caleb with him into the fencing. Dragging them both along the rails, the animal plastered his shoulder and side into the wood, along with Caleb’s leg and hip, and broke into a barreling run along the fence line. It was unlike anything Jake had ever seen.

The bull wranglers sprang into a run toward the animal. Jake started running too, circling the gathering of stunned witnesses until he hit a free stretch of fencing that bore right in the crazed animal’s path. His heart pounding hard enough to make him sick, Jake scrambled up the fence and threw one leg over, straddling the damn thing right in the bull’s rampaging path. He couldn’t hear a fucking thing but waves crashing in his ears, but he saw the horror on Caleb’s face as he got closer, and could read the screaming “No!” from his lips, seconds before the animal jammed its weight against Jake’s leg. As prepared as he could be, Jake braced himself to take the force of the hit and focused on wrapping his arms around Caleb’s torso, and holding onto the man with all his might. “Let go of the damn hold!” His muscles screaming and stretching, Jake fought the momentum of the bull, knowing in his gut there wasn’t a goddamned way in the world he would ever let up his grip on Caleb. With one arm, Caleb put a death grip on Jake’s waist as the bull kept right on going. Caleb bellowed an inhuman wail as the bull took his caught-up arm with his run, yanking Caleb unnaturally until something finally gave, releasing Caleb from the bull. At a sudden lack of force opposing the tension in his muscles, Jake fell off the fence and toppled to the ground with a bone-crushing thud, taking Caleb right with him. Stunned into momentary paralysis, Jake lay on the ground tangled up in Caleb’s arms and legs, staring up at the cloud-filled sky, seeing nothing but stars. Before Jake could stop blinking, a crowd gathered around them, murmuring their collective concern and stretching hands out in assistance. Jake’s entire body groaned in protest as Jasper hauled him to his feet. Someone pulled Caleb up too, and although he stumbled, clearly shaken, he said, “Let me through. I need to help Rock-n-Roll.” “They got him under control, boss,” Jasper answered. “Ren shot him with a tranq gun. He’s not gonna go crazy on anyone else.” “Something happened to him,” Caleb insisted, pushing his way through the crowd to the fence. “I need to check him out.”

On unsteady legs, Caleb started to climb over the railing to get to the prone animal, and something irrational that Jake could not control took him over, dictating his actions. “No.” Although he managed to keep his voice even and calm, he reached out and yanked Caleb off the railing by the back of his shirt, hauling him down to the ground. Caleb whirled on him, fire in his eyes, and Jake barely controlled the urge to shake him. “No,” he stated emphatically again, and got right up into Caleb’s face. “That animal dragged you along a big ass stretch of fencing, and you could have some serious injuries. You will have a doctor look you over and declare you fit before you spend one minute on that animal. Do you hear me?” Caleb opened his mouth, and Jake clamped his hand over it before one word of protest slipped out. “I don’t want to hear it.” He took Caleb’s wrist and started pulling him in the direction of the house. “You’re coming with me. I’m calling a damn doctor to come check you over before I let you take one step toward any animal on this property. “Ren!” Jake shouted, not stopping or taking his eyes off Caleb’s storming face for one minute. “Yeah, boss?” “Call our vet and tell him we need him to come take a look at our animal ASAP. Explain what happened, and what you had to do. You report directly to me until I tell you otherwise. Understood?” “Got it.” Ren took charge and broke up the crowd. Satisfied that the bull would get the best care possible, Jake put his full attention on the stubbornass mule in front of him. Unsure which emotion raged in him stronger -- the urge to hit or the need to hold and kiss -- Jake led the man into the house, slamming the door behind them. Chapter Fourteen

Frustration burned in Caleb as Jake hauled him up the grand staircase. He had an animal to tend to, and it put a fire in his gut that his men

automatically obeyed Jake, even when Caleb stood right there so clearly wanting something else. In exactly the way he had set in motion when he’d hired the man and sang his praises so damn loudly in the first place. Fucking irony. Petulant and uncaring, Caleb turned a belligerent stare on Jake. “You fucking know I can’t have a doctor look at me,” he hissed as Jake led him into his bedroom and kicked the door closed, locking it behind him. “Or have you conveniently forgotten the other half of what lives inside me?” “I haven’t forgotten a damned thing, you asshole.” Jake shoved Caleb on the bed and immediately tugged off Caleb’s riding glove, then tore open his Kevlar vest and moved on to ripping open the buttons on his shirt. “And fucking correct me if I’m wrong, but you did say you could still get hurt, and I’ve seen you bleed. I’ve even felt you pass out against me when the pain gets too great to handle, so I know you’re not invincible.” Jake scraped Caleb’s jeans and chaps down hard over raw skin already developing bruises, making Caleb wince with stinging, abrading pain. “I’ll be damned if I let someone else slip away from me on my watch.” Dirty boots hit the floor hard, spinning the attached spurs and spraying caked-in dirt in a fan across the hardwood floor. The jeans, underwear, and socks quickly followed, until Caleb lay there as naked as Jake was clothed. “It’s goddamned fucking not gonna happen.” Understanding hit Caleb in the stomach hard enough to steal his breath. He let go of his own anger for a minute and took a good look at the wildness in Jake’s eyes. Any frustration he had felt moments ago flew from him in a flash. “Hey. Whoa, whoa. Slow down.” Caleb grabbed Jake’s arms and pulled the man down on top of him, but then quickly rolled him underneath, tucking him in between his spread legs. “Look at me, Jake. Look at me.” He took Jake’s face in his hands, forcing his too bright eyes to focus on him. “I’ll be all right. I’m not gonna die on you.”

“Krista said that too, damn it.” A horrible sob that Jake clearly tried to suppress shook his whole body and crumbled the hard lines of his face, tearing at Caleb’s heart. “I said she should go to the doctor when she first started having the pain, but she said it was just a little twinge and it would go away. I didn’t push because I couldn’t upset her for anything. I fucking let it go, when I knew something was wrong.” Jake dug his fingers into Caleb’s sides, and a sharp, piercing pain that Caleb wouldn’t let Jake see for the world nearly undid him. “She never complained of aches or pains, so I goddamned knew when she did it meant she felt something pretty severe. I wanted her to go to the doctor but didn’t make her, and two weeks later, she died in my arms on the way to the hospital, her spleen bleeding out to the point that it flooded her belly with blood and killed her before I could get her help.” Caleb blinked hard to keep the wetness out of his eyes, every emotion he’d never wanted to feel churning up in his gut for this one broken, beautiful man. “I’m so damned sorry you lost her, Jake.” He was too, knowing as he said it that were Krista still alive he would not have Jake, even in the small capacity he did now. “So, so damn sorry.” He dipped down and brushed his lips against Jake’s in the gentlest of kisses, aching when Jake clung to him, deepening the connection with desperate bites against Caleb’s lips and small forays from his tongue into Caleb’s mouth. The kisses tasted of fear and longing, throwing Caleb for a loop as he wondered if Jake knew he was with Caleb, or believed himself back with his dead wife. Feeling the need in the clutch of Jake’s arms around his waist, his fingers clawing at Caleb’s back, made Caleb realize he didn’t care if Jake saw him or his deceased wife. Caleb only knew it killed him inside to see Jake like this, and he understood without a doubt he would do anything to take the man’s hurt away. Even let Jake use his body as a substitute for the person he really wanted. Without words, Caleb broke the connection of their lips and licked his way down Jake’s jaw and throat, inhaling sweat, livestock, and male, something that when it attached itself to this particular body became the most powerful of aphrodisiacs. He tore open the snaps on Jake’s

shirt, unearthing skin that emanated heat in powerful waves, drawing Caleb to it like bees to honey. Using the flat of his tongue, Caleb tasted Jake’s flesh, let the musky saltiness of it penetrate his taste buds and sink into his being in every way he could, knowing that he wanted this for himself, just as much as he hoped to ease Jake’s heartache. Latching onto a flat, copper-colored nipple, Caleb suckled Jake as he would a woman, moaning as the disc puckered with arousal against his tongue. Jake writhed against Caleb and buried his hands in Caleb’s hair, holding on as he pumped his hips up against Caleb’s body and ground his cock into Caleb’s stomach. Caleb wanted that prick pushing its way past his lips again, craved a deeper tasting than Jake had allowed him last night. He’d never minded performing oral sex on a woman, but the thought that he could get even more of Jake into his mouth while giving him pleasure had Caleb humping his own cock into the bed, exciting him enough to make his balls swell between his legs. Caleb wanted everything with Jake to happen all at once, and for one of the first times in his sexual life, he had to school himself to breathe through the need and go slowly. As much as he wanted everything, he didn’t want to miss one single bit of it either. Jake had the hardest damn body Caleb had ever been with, and the differences in the flat, wide chest and the rippling, washboard stomach fascinated him to no end. Caleb grazed his lips over every ridge as he moved down Jake’s torso, and the tips of his fingers tingled to life as he moved up and down the waves of cut muscle along Jake’s sides. Caleb touched lower, over Jake’s thighs and the coarseness of hair there, his cock responding to the roughness of Jake’s body in places where Caleb had grown so accustomed to smoothness and softness. For some unfathomable reason, Jake’s differences had Caleb purring with discovery. He wanted to know everything, intimately. Even parts he’d never been brave enough to ask to touch in all of his years of sexual activity. Caleb craved getting inside Jake’s ass. Not only with his cock, but with his fingers and tongue, and holy hell, he wanted to shove toys in there and watch the man learn to take them and love it too. He’d never done any of this with a woman. Hadn’t hung around any one of them long enough to develop the trust it would take for him to make the request. His chest constricting tightly, Caleb knew he didn’t have that

with Jake either. Caleb served as a body to relieve Jake’s sexual needs, and even though he might care enough to call Caleb a friend, Caleb didn’t fool himself that their roles could reverse. Jake would not roll over and open himself to receive Caleb’s cock; Caleb knew that without having to ask. Pushing that secret desire down into a place that wouldn’t ever see daylight, Caleb focused on the things he could have. Namely, Jake’s big, thick erection. Caleb felt its hard heat rubbing against the underside of his chin, transferring droplets of pungent precum to his jaw. Growling with desire, Caleb shifted his face and nuzzled his nose into springy, dark fur and then took the head of Jake’s cock into his mouth. “Mmmm, yeah, yeah.” Jake squirmed his hips against Caleb’s face, holding him against his erection with tight fists tunneled in Caleb’s hair, tugging against Caleb’s scalp. Jake’s pleasure spurred Caleb on, made him bolder, desperate to have more of Jake, eager to drive the man to orgasm. Widening his jaw, Caleb opened up and took him inside. As he slowly worked to accept Jake’s penis, bobbing back and forth on the upper third while learning how to lick and suck on this thick, velvety-smooth hardness that took over his mouth, Caleb grew unbearably stiff in response. Christ, he couldn’t get the whole thing in there, hadn’t yet learned how to relax his throat muscles enough to take Jake beyond the top half of his length. Didn’t matter. Every bit of that scorching thickness he managed to stuff past his lips turned Caleb on hot enough to make him come. He wrapped his hand around the base of Jake’s cock and started to pump it in his fist in the way he liked to have done to him. Jake jerked beneath him, clearly struggling to take the physical pleasure. Within thirty seconds, the tug on Caleb’s hair turned into a yank, and Caleb found himself sprawled over the length of Jake’s honed, sinewy body, looking into green eyes so hazy with lust he almost looked ill. “Ride me.” Jake dug the blunt tips of his work-rough fingers into Caleb’s hips with what felt like pure, raw need, imprinting bruises on top of bruises that hadn’t yet had time to form. “Let me inside, baby. Please.”

His ass still a little sore from their activities of the past few days, Caleb found that in that moment, he could deny Jake nothing. The tube of lube sat on the nightstand from their coupling last night. Caleb grabbed it and made quick use of it, pushing past the initial frisson of discomfort. Caleb’s hole didn’t put up much of a fight this time, and he had one of his flashes of dark humor that made him wonder if that meant he was turning into a butt-fuck slut. If his level of desire for Jake was any way to define that term, Caleb thought he just might be. Unable to wait a second longer -- for himself as much as the heavilylidded desire he read in Jake’s eyes -- Caleb took Jake’s pole in his hand and wiggled down on it, thrilling over Jake’s grunt of pleasure as his cock pushed into Caleb’s tight chute and filled Caleb up inside. His ass channel fluttering around the thick invasion, Caleb moaned with a combination of pleasure and pain, the stretching so strangely uncomfortable it bordered on pure joy. He sank all the way down on Jake’s prick, forcing it in all the way to the hilt until he felt Jake’s pubic hair tickle the inside of his crack. Caleb wanted every piece of Jake to belong to him desperately, so much so that he wished Jake had more girth to accommodate and more length to bury, even to the point that he knew it would tear him apart to take it. Immediately, Caleb sensed the direction of his thoughts, knew the ideas that lay unused and dormant beneath this clawing physical desire for a deeper emotional connection. Because he couldn’t afford to feel them, Caleb turned the mating into something savage and purely sexual: something he had a hope of surviving. “Oh, fuck yeah.” Caleb planted his hands on either side of Jake’s thickly corded arms, growling as he started to move. “Grind up into me and take me good.” He bore down on Jake’s answering spear up into his ass, gasping at the separation movement, and gritting his teeth every time they came together at full penetration again. “That’s it, that’s it.” He sat up straight and circled his entrance around Jake’s cock, slicing a deep ripple of pleasure all along the length of his rectum, pulling lines of sensation down from his belly into his asshole. “Oh, God, just like that.” He reached back between his legs and put his fingers against the base of Jake’s cock. Biting his lip to hold back a shout, Caleb wanted to scream and cry as he felt that one damn part of Jake disappear into his body with every thrust.

Sensations suddenly too powerful to be believed caused Caleb to experience every level of physical delight possible in the act of mating, and not a bit of pain. Caleb’s movements shifted to erratic as he tried to get more of that deep-seated pleasure in sex, while he fought the exposure of long-buried emotions at the exact same time. “Fuck me, Jake.” He undulated his hips and pulled on his cock, trying with everything in him to make this coming together purely about the physical. “Do it hard and make me feel every goddamned inch of you.” With a hoarse cry, Jake flipped Caleb onto his back and drove into him in one powerful thrust, rocking Caleb almost all the way up onto his shoulders before letting him back down onto the bed. Jake lowered every ounce of his big, strong body down onto Caleb, searing their mouths together in what felt like a battle between two men who wanted to be anywhere but in bed with each other, but who couldn’t stay away. Caleb locked his legs around Jake’s waist and lifted his hips to take the brunt of every rough slide into his flaming, tender channel. At the same time, his cock throbbed heavy with appreciation at being sandwiched between two hard stomachs. His mouth fell open as he tried to take a breath, but Jake took it over as soon as Caleb offered an opening, sinking his tongue all the way inside in an act that mimicked the lower half of their bodies. Every nerve ending in Caleb’s body simmered with awareness right below the surface, leaving him feeling possessed by Jake. From the rubbing of Jake’s questing, wet tongue against his to the insane friction in the pumping of Jake’s cock in his sore ass, all the way down to his feet that bumped against the small of Jake’s back every time the man pushed inside Caleb; every little thing sent licking fingers of intimacy and joy directly to Caleb’s core. Shuddering at the implication of closeness, Caleb knew he couldn’t stand to experience another damn thing with this man. Then Jake went and took their mating to an entirely different place, and gutted Caleb from the inside out with one word. Two syllables that not one piece of Caleb’s being expected to hear. “Caleb.” Jake spoke the name against Caleb’s lips, panting hot breaths over Caleb’s mouth as he plunged his cock deep into Caleb’s ass. “Oh, God, Caleb… Caleb, you feel so fucking good.”

Oh Christ, he knows it’s me. Completely unprepared to hear his name whispered in this mating, Caleb bucked up against Jake, every muscle in his body clamping down, his heart fracturing into dangerous, unstable pieces as he came. His cock swelled and spurted, pumping a gooey mess of ejaculate against their stomachs, startling Jake into pulling his head back, his eyes wide with recognition and shock. Sparks of light reflected in Jake’s eyes, turning them a color that reminded Caleb of dew-touched spring grass. That gaze sucked words out of Caleb that he didn’t want to give. “You make it happen,” Caleb confessed, flaying open too much of his soul, something he knew he needed to protect. “I just have to think about you, and you make me hard and heavy enough to come.” “I… You…” Unable to make another word come, right then Jake bared his teeth and shoved into Caleb’s ass hard, one last time, stilling with rigor when he pushed in as far as he could go. His mouth fell open, as if he wanted to say something, but couldn’t make it happen. Instead, Jake fell against Caleb again, fusing his lips to Caleb’s as orgasm overtook him, and he warmed Caleb’s tender channel with thick spits of cum. Greedily, like a thief in the night, Caleb stole deeper kisses from Jake’s open mouth, trying with everything in him to make this a real memory he could take with him. Because when Jake opened his eyes and saw the real Caleb, he would disappear out of Caleb’s life forever. Chapter Fifteen

“Be careful.” His hand on the doorknob, ready to leave on another road trip, Caleb paused, his heart racing as Jake’s voice reached him, drifting down from the top of the stairs. Caleb turned, his breath catching at the sight of Jake at the top of the landing, his hair sleep-mussed, wearing a pair of jeans haphazardly thrown on with just the zipper done up. Jesus Christ, the man looked so damned handsome and like he fit in this

house that Caleb had to stifle the urge to tear up the stairs and throw himself in Jake’s arms. “I didn’t want to wake you,” Caleb replied. Jake rose early every day as it was, and Caleb wouldn’t deprive him of precious sleep, especially with the increase in their nocturnal activities of late. “I left you a note” -- his lips lifted at the corner as he remembered -- “tucked into the edge of my mirror.” The small answering grin tugged right at Caleb’s heart. “I got it.” Jake slid his fingers in his front pocket and produced the scrap of paper. “I didn’t chase you down for that.” “I know.” Jesus Christ, it flip-flopped Caleb’s belly to know why Jake did. Finding out that Rock-n-Roll’s major malfunction that afternoon two weeks ago most likely resulted from a bullet found lodged in his right shoulder had set everyone on edge. Nobody had heard a gunshot that day, so the rifle used must have had a sound suppressor attachment. Serious business, but at the same time, the bullet pulled from R-n-R was not the same caliber of the bullets his brothers had pulled out of him. Caleb burned with anger at the harm done to his animal, while Jake wanted Caleb to understand that someone had tried to shoot Caleb, again, and hit the bull by mistake. At Jake’s insistence -- not to mention his brothers and a handful of other nags in his employ -Caleb had filed a police report on R-n-R’s shooting and turned the recovered bullet over to Sheriff Boone. Caleb still refused to talk to law enforcement about the first shooting, no matter that it made this case that much harder to solve. Caleb did not have an explanation for his recovery from those gunshot wounds that Sheriff Boone would buy. There was just no way in hell he intended to invite that kind of scrutiny upon his person, and his family and Jake would just have to accept that. Interviews after the bull’s shooting hadn’t turned up a suspect, and the evidence didn’t yield any viable prints or a ballistics match. Truthfully, Caleb didn’t expect they would. Although he had behaved to the point of blandness of late, Caleb had pissed off enough people over the years that he honestly couldn’t

begin to imagine who might want to take a couple of shots at him. Knowing he possessed an extra layer of demon armor that kept him safe, Caleb had filed the report and made himself and his staff available for questioning out of concern that possible gunfire would catch one of them, not so much for himself. Which worked out well, since Jake had decided to do enough nailbiting worrying for the both of them. Caleb openly balked at the overprotective grilling from Jake about who would want to hurt him, but deep inside, he wondered if this was what it felt like to be in a serious relationship. As much as he knew he shouldn’t, Caleb basked in the glow that told him it was. “I’ll keep my eyes open and stay alert,” Caleb finally promised, his gaze piercing Jake’s as he did it. “You do the same. Okay?” Jake loped down the stairs, his bare feet slapping the wood as he descended. “There isn’t somebody out there trying to put a bullet in me.” Stopping at the bottom of the steps, Jake slid his hands into his front pockets, inadvertently tugging the waist of his jeans down even lower, slipping far too dangerously into erotic territory for Caleb’s peace of mind. “Don’t forget for one minute that it appears as though you do.” “Come here.” Snaking out his hand, Caleb hooked his fingers in Jake’s jeans and pulled him close. Letting a throaty little moan slip out, Caleb did up the button on the man’s pants before he ended up pushing them down for a good, hard suck. Damn, he’d really come to love eating Jake’s cock during these weeks they’d spent together, but he really did have to get on the road. “How about if we both promise to still be walking upright and in one piece when we see each other again in a few weeks. All right?” “I’m gonna hold you to that.” Roughness deepened Jake’s already gravelly voice. He twisted his fists in Caleb’s shirt and yanked him in until they rode each other’s fronts and not an inch of space for air existed between them. “Don’t make me regret letting you go.” His lips hitching up at the edges, Caleb lifted up and brushed his mouth against the warmth of Jake’s. “I like that,” he whispered, stealing another quick peck. “Doesn’t mean shit, since nobody

controls what I do except me, but I like hearing you growl like you think you have the right.” “You may be a demon, Hawkins” -- Jake backed Caleb into the door, crushing him with his weight -- “but I have a couple extra inches and a good twenty-five pounds on you. I could take you down and tie you up before you even knew what hit you.” “Mmm, that could be interesting.” Caleb purred and rubbed himself against Jake, his blood boiling when Jake did the same in return. “Give my ass some time to recover from what we’ve been doing, and I may just let you do that and have your way with me when I get back from my trip.” “Tease.” Jake pinched Caleb’s butt cheek and then took one very big step backward. “Get the hell out of here before I shove you facedown on the floor and take you right here in the foyer. I don’t think you can handle that after last night.” No, as much as Caleb might crave it, he really couldn’t have anything penetrate him again for at least a few days. To his surprise, he found that his ass had the ability to bounce back and recover quickly, much as his body did with any injury. That didn’t mean he could take repeated poundings from Jake’s cock without a little down time, though. He’d received a lot from Jake those first few days together -at Caleb’s own eagerness and begging -- but on about the fourth day, Caleb discovered that he had too much tenderness in his rectum to let Jake fuck him one more time. He needed about forty-eight hours to let his channel rest and recuperate before going at it again. Although unspoken, Jake and Caleb both knew Caleb would leave for an extended period this morning, and had spent the last two days doing it like bunnies, including twice last night. Therefore, while Caleb thrilled at the idea of Jake throwing him on the floor and mounting him for a fast, hard ride before he left, he knew his body couldn’t keep up with that desire. At least, not this morning. The loud gong of the doorbell and the sharp rap of knuckles on wood shocked the crap out of Caleb, breaking him out of his spell. Even though two feet of space already separated them, he and Jake jumped

and tore even farther apart, looking like they both just stole money out of the collection plate. Jake leaned a shoulder against the banister and crossed his arms against his chest. “That’ll be either Jason or Scott, wondering where you are.” Caleb unlocked the door and found blond-haired Scott, bundled up against the stiff September morning chill. Braced against the cold, the bull wrangler cupped his hands and blew into them before he spoke. “We’ve got them all loaded up in the trucks. We’re ready to go whenever you are. Couldn’t reach you on your cell. I guess you don’t have it turned on.” Reaching for the familiar clip that always rode the right side of his waist, Caleb felt nothing but leather belt. “Still have it on the charger. Give me two minutes to grab it, and we’ll be ready to go.” “I’ll take your bag.” Scott grabbed Caleb’s duffel off the floor before he could make a protest. “See you in a few.” By the time Caleb shut the door and turned to head for the office, Jake had already returned with cell and holder in hand. “Here you go.” Rather than handing it over, he tucked it over Caleb’s belt himself, in exactly the spot Caleb wore it. His fingers remaining in the waistband of Caleb’s jeans, Jake added, “Better get going, or they’ll wonder what’s keeping you.” Caleb couldn’t stop looking at Jake’s hard, almost-brutal-in-itshandsomeness face. The little patch of pockmarked skin on his jawline, the grooves that radiated out from the edges of his eyes, the brackets that framed his severe lips; everything that made it inherently masculine captured Caleb’s fascination in a way that nothing else on another male body did. Jake’s eyes grabbed hold of Caleb the hardest, though, had a way of looking at Caleb that didn’t seem to want to let go of him. Lately, Caleb didn’t even try to fight it. He didn’t want release. “Keep the bed warm for me.” Christ, he didn’t want to leave. Panic bubbled in him that, as soon as he did, Jake would regain his senses

and go back to pretending this thing between them had never happened. “Okay?” Jake’s strong jaw ticked visibly for a few heartbeats, and a cloud of darkness swirled in his eyes before he answered. “I will. Stay safe.” Caleb nodded, understanding that brief storm better now. Over the last few weeks, it seemed as if Jake had let go of many of his ghosts in relation to his wife. Caleb watched the man often -- too much -- but swore much of the tension and tightness that had been such an intrinsic part of Jake for as long as Caleb had known him had eased some since his confession about how Krista died. Most of the time he appeared to have had a burden lifted from his shoulders. But not always. Caleb slid his arms around Jake’s waist and linked his hands at the small of Jake’s back. “I’m coming home in two weeks.” Lifting up, he pressed a kiss on Jake’s lips. “So don’t get too used to sleeping in the middle of the bed.” Growling in that way Caleb loved feeling vibrate against his lips, Jake bit at Caleb’s mouth, hard. “I’ll just roll you underneath me when you crawl in.” “Looking forward to --” Jake stole the rest of Caleb’s thought with a brutal, eating kiss. Caleb threw himself into the act, straining just as recklessly against Jake as Jake did against him. Every inch of their bodies fused together as one entity, mouths and chests and stomachs and cocks. Jake had his hands pushing into the back of Caleb’s jeans, and Caleb scraped his fingers into the hot, hard muscles rippling Jake’s bare back, making the man whimper in a way that drove Caleb wild. Caleb didn’t think anyone had ever said good-bye to him like this before, couldn’t remember anyone other than his family ever caring that much if he came back. Jake’s unfiltered reaction socked him so damn hard in the gut Caleb gave two clicks of thought to putting Scott in charge and staying home, when Jake suddenly ripped his mouth off Caleb’s and put him an arm’s length away. Breathing heavily, his mouth swollen and red, Jake pointed at the front door. “Go. Right now. One more minute in this house with me

and I really will push you onto this floor and fuck you into paralysis.” As if he didn’t trust himself, Jake turned and tore up the stairs, never once looking back. A lightness stole over Caleb, bubbling a sense of ridiculous giddiness throughout his entire being. He couldn’t ever remember another soul making him feel about ten feet tall with pride and worth like Jake did in just these few minutes together this morning. Looking forward to the cold on the other side of his front door, Caleb knew he would need it to put a damper on his cock before he made it to the truck. On the inside, though, there wasn’t a weather front cold enough in the entire state of Montana to sink into Caleb and steal away the warmth that infused him from knowing Jake Chase. ***** “Knock knock.” Risa’s familiar voice accompanied her rap on the door to the office in the horse barn, capturing Jake’s attention. Looking up, Jake smiled at the woman and then lifted his hand to rub his cheek. “Got dirt on your face.” He touched the accompanying area on his own face once again. “At least, I hope it’s dirt.” Risa swiped at the smudge while shrugging her shoulders. “It wouldn’t be the first time if it’s not. Listen, I just wanted to remind you that I’m leaving early tomorrow. Is that still cool?” Jake slipped off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Ruby’s baseball game. Right?” “Yep. We fought damn hard to get her a tryout for the boys’ team. I’m not about to blow it off now that they’ve made the playoffs.” Green eyes sparkled at him. “Plus, I like to watch Duke cheer her on. That’s almost as fun as the game itself.” “I bet.” Jake had first crossed paths with Risa on the tour back when Duke Boone was still trying to fight his attraction to this woman. Jake hadn’t been in Quinten to see all of it play itself out, but he had witnessed pieces of the brewing love story firsthand. While Risa competed on weekends, Duke had brought the simmering attraction

on the road to her. “Go. Have fun. We’re plenty covered here.” His thoughts automatically drifted to Caleb, and the week he still had left on the road. Damn, Jake’s chest already ached for the seven days they’d spent apart. “You still hooking up with Caleb for that event next weekend in Cheyenne?” “Come hell or high water. It has been too long since I strapped myself on a bull for competition. I miss it.” “I don’t miss the tour at all. I hated being on the road.” Jake made that admission without thinking. It shocked him all the more that he didn’t feel an immediate need to hide for revealing a little piece of his soul without giving it very serious consideration first. He just did it because he was…comfortable here. On Hawkins Ranch. With this group of people. With Caleb. The guilt of Krista still ate at him every day, but at the same time, the…contentment that settled on him when he shared his time and a bed with Caleb evoked such a feeling of -- hard to believe -- normalcy that Jake couldn’t walk away from it, no matter the cost to his soul. Risa’s answering smile more than wrapped itself around her lips; it reached into the twinkle in her eyes, and radiated off her entire being. “You look like you have a new lease on life, Jake. I’m happy for you. I knew Caleb could make you smile again.” “What?” Stricken and backpedaling in a flash, boiling heat cooked Jake inside until he felt like he would burst into flames. “What do you mean by that?” “Just that Caleb has a way about him that puts people at ease and makes them giggle and feel happy. I think you needed that, but didn’t know how to make it happen for yourself.” Relief swamped Jake, leaving him light-headed. God, did he really think she would say, “I know you have that smile on your face because he’s letting you fuck him pretty much any time you want it, and I know how much you love it?” Nobody knew what they did once they went into the main house and locked the doors for the night.

Nobody knew how often he’d reached for Caleb in these last seven days, only to find his half of the bed empty and remember that the man wasn’t home. And nobody ever would. Not even Caleb. This was Jake’s weird little affliction. He wouldn’t label it when it couldn’t be; he wouldn’t hurt Caleb with promises that he couldn’t possibly keep. For God’s sake, Jake wasn’t even gay. He wasn’t. And Caleb wasn’t either. Risa stood there with her head tilted, watching him, and waiting for him to contribute his half to the conversation. “Caleb is…Caleb has…” How in the hell did Jake describe or explain his friendship with Caleb Hawkins? “Knowing Caleb is a unique experience.” Understatement of the century. “He has changed how I look at things; I will give him that.” “Yeah.” Risa chuckled. “He does have his own special vision of the world. We’re all happy that he hired you though, and we love having you here. I hope you stay for a long time.” “Thanks, Ri --” Gabriel’s dark head popped around the door frame. “Boss?” Jake shifted his attention to the young man. “Yeah?” “Other boss still away for a week?” “Yeah.” Jake rose from his chair and circled to the front of the desk, awareness raising the hairs on his arms under his flannel shirt. “What’s up? What do you need?” “I don’t think it’s anything. Probably just a coincidence.” Gabriel started walking backward as he talked, with both Jake and Risa following at a fast clip. “But the fencing is down in the north pasture again. No storm damage this time. Hank thinks it looks deliberate. Cattle need to be found and rounded back up.” Shit. He and Caleb did not need this kind of crap.

Grimacing, Jake turned to Risa. “You call your husband.” To Gabriel, he said, “Let’s go.” Chapter Sixteen

Barely keeping his eyes open from the long drive home, Caleb tossed his bag on the floor by the front door. He leaned against the wall, letting the warmth of familiar ground sink into his bones. Chuckling in the darkness, Caleb realized he had never thought of this monstrosity of a house as warm and welcoming before tonight. This was the first time his gut told him it felt like home. “Oh, Hawkins, you fucking idiot.” Caleb rubbed his eyes and pushed away from the wood. “Don’t go thinking down a road like that. You know better.” He did too. Intellectually, Caleb knew not to let himself get too close, too attached, to Jake. It would only lay him low and put him back in a very ugly place when it all came crashing down around him. Even so, he had himself halfway up the stairs, eager to find Jake, when another pain hit his stomach, this one bringing him to his knees. “Damn it, no.” Caleb tried to climb another stair, but the twisting, clawing need for nourishment seized his middle again, making him stumble and break out into a sweat. Caleb started for home so quickly after talking with Jake about the fence tampering that he’d totally forgotten he meant to spend this evening searching for a meal to feed the beast. He hated looking for a kill while on the road, but sometimes he couldn’t help the way the timing worked out. All of that flew out of Caleb’s mind the moment he heard the concern in Jake’s voice earlier today on the phone. Nothing else mattered to Caleb from then on. Jake didn’t come out and say so, but he needed Caleb here with him. More than that, Caleb needed to be here with Jake. They would figure out what in the hell was going on with this target practice and fence tampering, together.

Unfortunately, before Caleb could join Jake in bed -- Christ, he hoped the man still welcomed him -- Caleb had to take care of something else first. The demon needed to eat. ***** Awareness of another heartbeat, another unique scent, another life force beyond the kill he’d just made, filled Caleb’s psyche and nose. The sensation of being watched sizzled its way down his mountainous spine, as it had done from almost the moment he’d made the change and took off for the hunt. Now, his freshly fed senses made the other soul’s being almost overwhelming to Caleb, but he perversely finished eating the warm raw flesh of the dead coyote, forcing the gritty, metallic flavor down his throat with as little chewing and tasting as possible. As much as Caleb abhorred this necessity, he accepted that a piece of his hunter’s heart thrilled at the feeding ritual. On a subconscious level that he could not control, he gloried in making the kill needed to continue breathing. A deeply seated animal instinct loved the dominance in that act of chasing and catching, even if his human half sickened at the many deaths that took place at his hands. All of this churned and stormed in Caleb, pushing him to get this part of his persona out in the open now, before they reached a point where it would kill him to have it discovered and rejected. “Have you seen enough?” he asked, without turning around. Caleb didn’t have to shift his gaze the hundred twenty degrees to his left to know exactly where his Peeping Tom hid. “This is what I am, Jake. I have to kill to live. You had a right to know and witness it well before now. I understand if you think I’ve deceived you or downplayed my demon needs. I’ll understand if you feel you have to leave the ranch” - he swallowed convulsively -- “and me.” The rustle of trees and overgrowth crackled like burning wood in Caleb’s ears, and a moment later, Jake came into view in his peripheral vision. Still dressed in work clothes, Caleb realized he wouldn’t have found Jake waiting in his bed if he’d made it up the stairs after all. So much for the fantasy of a naked Jake fast asleep, with me climbing in to kiss him awake.

Jake cleared his throat, and Caleb swore to God he could feel the heat of a blush emanating off the man’s cheeks. “Dealing with R-n-R taking that bullet, and the fencing being tampered with, and one of the horses quickly losing a lot of weight --” “Wait a minute.” Fire igniting immediately, Caleb turned to Jake and faced him head-on. “Someone is messing with the horses now too?” “No, no.” Jake rushed to Caleb and grabbed him by the forearms. The pressure Jake applied in his touch soothed the spike of adrenaline coursing through Caleb, but at the same time strung his nerves up tighter than the strings on a tennis racket. “I already had the vet out to see him. Dodger picked up a parasite somewhere, but we’re taking the necessary steps to flush out his system. I couldn’t sleep with thinking about everything going on, though, so I decided to check on him, and then figured I might as well work if I couldn’t sleep. With everything so quiet, I heard your arrival. By the time I got out of the barn, you were already booking it to your truck, almost at a run, and driving away again.” Could his Jake be jealous? Caleb broke free of Jake’s hold and cupped his hand around Jake’s neck, pulling him down until their foreheads touched. “And you wondered where in the hell I could be going at this hour and decided to play spy, huh?” Jake reached back and covered Caleb’s hand, sliding his fingers in between the spaces of Caleb’s, warming Caleb from the outside in. “I didn’t think much of anything.” He casually used the collar of his jacket to wipe at Caleb’s face, and the gentle gesture almost brought tears to Caleb’s eyes. “The porch lights reflected your face, and you looked so frantic… Damn it, Caleb, I figured it had something to do with your demon and wanted to see. You don’t ever talk about it, so I didn’t think you would show me if I came right out and asked.” Caleb started and stepped back, having forgotten for a moment that he stood nude before Jake in his demon body. Of course you’re still in your altered form, you idiot. Why else would Jake be wiping blood off your face? An ultrafast image of his exaggerated forehead, cheekbones, and jawline assaulted Caleb’s mind. With the horns that spoke of devil lore protruding from his head, and a miniature version

of the Rockies mapping his spine from the base of his skull to his tailbone, Caleb knew to a human he looked like something out of a cautionary tale of evil from the Bible. A little wary now, Caleb locked down on the need to shift out of this form, and stiffened his spine. “What is it that you want to know?” Clenching his fists at his sides, he forced himself to look Jake right in the eyes, without flinching. “Take a good look. Twirl me around if you want. It’s not beautiful like the female form, and it lacks any kind of handsomeness that exists in the human male face. It’s not even intimidating in the size, shape, and stature of many other demon species. It’s simple and plain, and not very interesting. Its only distinction is that it is a descendant of the first demon form, and us Dastetier do like to take our pride in that.” Jake reared back, his face paling as if Caleb had slapped him. “I shouldn’t have followed you.” He turned and started to speed walk away. “I apologize. I won’t ask you about things I don’t have a right to know again.” “Wait! Wait!” Swearing at his callousness, Caleb took off and barreled into Jake from behind. Wrapping his arms around Jake’s waist and chest, he overpowered the struggle in the other man and put his lips against Jake’s ear. “I’m the one who’s sorry. You have every right to know about this half of me.” Please, God, keep his curiosity only about the physical and away from the history of my life. “Touch and look all you want. Heaven knows just being near you like this makes me as hard in this body as it does in the other.” Caleb had never had difficulty keeping the demon controlled during sexual arousal or extreme emotion, as his brother Connor once did, but that didn’t mean this body didn’t respond to sexual excitement at all. Quite the opposite. Right where he stood, Caleb knew how he wanted this encounter to end. “I want you to fuck me, Jake.” He breathed in the immense potency of this man’s natural scent, and could have come on the strength of Jake’s smell taking over his nostrils and slipping into his bloodstream like a powerful drug alone. “Right here, right now. I want to get on my hands and knees and feel you cover me from behind.”

Jake stood poker-stiff and silent within the circle of Caleb’s arms for an excruciating, prolonged moment. Right away, hurt slammed through Caleb, and he stepped away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think.” His cock shrank, and he never felt more like a freak in his life. “You just watched me kill something, and I look…I look” -- he swept his hands down his grotesque demon form, although Jake hadn’t yet turned, so Caleb didn’t know who he gestured at -- “…like this. Of course you don’t want to do it with an animal in the freezing outdoors. You should go. I’ll follow shortly.” He would go home after he gave himself one hell of a lecture to stop wishing for things that could never happen for him. Jake’s arm shot out and manacled Caleb’s wrist in a flash, before he got two steps away. “I’m not disgusted by you in this form,” Jake said, his voice hard with offense, snapping Caleb’s gaze up from the ground. The green in Jake’s eyes glittered against the moonlight, backing up his tone. “I’m fully capable of looking at you and getting aroused by you when you look like this.” Jake shoved Caleb’s imprisoned hand down over his cock, forcing Caleb to rub the hard bulge pushing against the inside of his jeans. “I’ve ached to get inside you since the moment you left.” Letting go, Jake put the flat of his hands against Caleb’s stomach and backed Caleb into the nearest tree. He then slid his palms around Caleb’s waist and cupped his bare ass. Jake squeezed, and Caleb whimpered with need, quickly growing erect again. “But I don’t know this new body of yours. I don’t know if I should touch you in the same way, or if I need to know things so I don’t hurt you. We’re outdoors and not prepared. I don’t have any lube.” Jake’s fingers drifted up to the small of Caleb’s back, and when his tips grazed the ridges of his bumpy spine, Caleb shuddered and cried out with delight, his knees almost buckling. “God, I love how you respond to my touch,” Jake murmured. The little smile that edged up the corner of his lips mesmerized Caleb. He stared, openly, unable to look away. “So this exoskeleton that pushes out of your back is pretty sensitive, huh?” “Uh-huh.” Caleb practically croaked the word. Jake played just on the edges, where the rough-textured demon spine smoothed out to the rest of Caleb’s back, keeping off the long ridge of peaks. For Caleb, Jake’s touch was akin to touching all around a woman’s breast and areola,

but never tweaking or nibbling on the nipple. Torture. The ultimate pleasure denied. “Have you ever had sex in this body?” Jake asked. He stood chest to chest with Caleb, and his proximity, and heartbeat, his very breath, all washed over Caleb, rendering him powerless and weak to anything but pure, sexual need for this one man. “Not with a male.” Moaning, Caleb fell into Jake, tucking his face into Jake’s throat, inhaling and licking salty sweat at the same time. He vibrated with desire and pushed closer, wanting to melt right into the warmth of Jake Chase. “I’ve been with other females of my species, and those of other demon blood as well. Tonight, I want to experience it with you.” Groaning in answer at first, Jake’s lips touched the top of Caleb’s head in a lingering kiss. “You can feel how much I want you. But the stuff --” “You could use saliva, but you’d have to be willing to get close.” Damn it, please don’t let Jake feel the way my heart is racing right now. “To open me up and spit on me.” Jake pulled Caleb’s face out of hiding and angled it up until Caleb couldn’t hide from the intensity in Jake’s stare. “You would be okay with me doing that? Spitting so I can get in?” Nodding, Caleb bit his lip, for some reason feeling like a first-timer. “If you are. I want you to do everything to me, Jake. I don’t know why, but nothing feels taboo or wrong with you.” “Heaven help me, but I’m starting to feel the same way when I think about you.” Right then, Jake wrapped his hand around Caleb’s cock and squeezed. “While you were gone this week, I even thought about getting my lips around your dick and sucking you until my mouth is full up with your hardness.” Caleb twitched and jumped, and smudged a dot of precum on Jake’s jeans in the process. “How did your vision end?”

“With you coming on my lips and in my mouth.” He rubbed his thumb over Caleb’s slit and then teased the sensitive underside, and Caleb almost dropped to his knees to blow Jake in appreciation. “And me liking it.” “I want that so damn badly.” The confession escaped Caleb before he could think to pull it back. Jake reached between Caleb’s legs, cupping his testicles in the textured roughness of his hand, momentarily robbing Caleb of his powers of speech. His voice a little tight, he finished, “But I don’t want you to do anything just because you think you should.” “I think about doing a lot of things to you, with you” -- heat inflamed Jake’s entire body at his words, transferring to Caleb through their touch -- “that I never imagined I would want until you kissed me. I don’t know the first thing about how to --” Unable to hold back a second longer, Caleb shut Jake up with a hard, searing kiss. Everything about this man, from his sincerity and his trepidation to his willingness to even consider reciprocating, to his body that had so recently become the ideal in sexy and beautiful to Caleb, fueled a need that Caleb could not conquer. He wanted Jake. He wanted everything he could beg, borrow, and steal in time with him, doing everything from eating together, to working together, to watching TV at night, to sharing a bed and having as much sex as he could handle, until the time came when it had to end. He would deal with the heartache of eventually losing Jake later. Unless it killed him. And maybe that wouldn’t be a bad thing. None of that mattered when Jake tore his mouth away and started kissing his way over Caleb’s jaw to his throat. Jesus, they had never done this before either. Jake’s occasional sexual caresses toward Caleb always seemed to come accidentally, or while in the throes of such a passionate, raw encounter that he touched, held, or clutched without conscious thought. Not right now, and Christ, Caleb had forgotten how much he liked having his partner linger over him every once in a while.

Jake laved the flat of his tongue over Caleb’s collarbone, licking outward to his shoulder. His fingertips touched in enticing little circles along Caleb’s outer thighs, and Jake moved into Caleb, rubbing like a tabby on a catnip-covered scratching post. “God, you taste good. I never could have imagined it,” Jake said. He sucked Caleb’s skin with excruciating slowness over the high part of Caleb’s chest, not getting nearly low enough to satisfy the nerve endings standing on end all over Caleb’s tightly wound body. “Like the tips of the honeysuckle flowers I used to sip as a kid.” “Thank you.” Christ, Caleb didn’t know what to say in a moment like this, and he suddenly understood Jake’s relative silence when Caleb touched and kissed him. Something about looking down and watching Jake perform this kind of foreplay rocked him as strangely more jarring and real than feeling a cock ramming into his ass. Watching Jake learn and enjoy his body trickled icy fingers of panic through Caleb’s heated blood, driving him off the road into the ditch, pushing him far away from what he’d said he wanted only moments ago. Jake had hardly kissed his way past Caleb’s navel when Caleb grabbed a handful of the man’s hair and forcibly pulled him away. “Another time, another time.” He yanked on Jake’s belt buckle and zipper and had his jeans down around his hips in record time, freeing his jutting erection. “I can’t wait a minute longer. I need you inside me right now.” Caleb didn’t pause to see if Jake agreed; he just dropped to the cold, hard earth and thrust his ass in the air. “Fuck me, Jake. Now.” His elbows digging into the bed of pine needles, lichen, and dirt, Caleb dropped his head onto his forearms and spread his legs. “Please.” Jake waited only for a moment, but Christ, it felt like it took longer than the many years Caleb had been alive on this earth before he felt the air heat and become electrically charged behind him, and then a wave of coolness in a place that had never felt exposure in such a complete manner. More than holding flesh aside just enough to prod for an opening, Jake used both hands on Caleb’s buttocks and split him wide open. He exposed Caleb’s crack and bud to the elements -and to Jake’s view -- in a way they had never done before. Within seconds, a noise hit Caleb’s ears with the volume of a spraying

fountain, and then wetness splashed his sphincter, making him jump and gasp. “Are you okay?” Soothing hands rubbed up and down Caleb’s back on either side of his exposed spine, drawing out a tremble of anticipation. “Are you sure you want me to take you like this?” “Yes.” It seemed every encounter with Jake had Caleb near to begging, his need to feel Jake connected to him so great it unmanned him, even as a demon. “Please, Jake. Make me yours, please.” “Damn it, man, you always say shit like that, and push me near to coming too quickly.” More saliva drizzled onto Caleb’s hole, and then Caleb felt a light pressure against his entrance. He knew from familiarity that Jake worked at relaxing the tight muscle with the blunt tip of his thumb. “I can’t believe I’m touching you like this and thinking how pretty your ass looks pointed up at me, or how goddamned much it’s turning me on knowing you’ve never done this for anyone else.” “No one else ever made me want it.” Jesus Christ. Caleb’s cock strained and pushed into his stomach with unbearable anticipation, and his chute shivered with need at the memory of Jake’s cock filling him with hard perfection. His body shook with vulnerability, and Caleb prayed that Jake thought it the strain on his muscles. “And I don’t think anyone else ever will.” “Damn it, Caleb.” The gentle force of Jake’s thumb disappeared. “You need to stop saying crap like that.” He blanketed Caleb, swearing some more under his breath as he tucked his cock against Caleb’s opening and jammed his way inside. Caleb grunted at the bruising force while Jake bit Caleb’s shoulder hard enough to break skin, and shoved his prick in even farther. Taking a gasp of breath, Caleb breathed his way through the initial wave of burning discomfort and fought his way to the pleasure on the other side. He pushed his ass back on the vigorous slide of Jake’s penis, desperately trying to find his way to a place of pure physical pleasure, frightened of the way his heart hurt and his very being craved an even deeper connection with this man. Caleb couldn’t

afford to let himself feel it, but something wicked and powerful within him wouldn’t let him hide his soul away. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Please, don’t say it. “I love you,” Caleb confessed, the words almost a sob. His throat constricted and his chest seized. Everything screamed at him inside to stop this self-destructive madness. None of that fear or those voices could compare to the power in the repeated, hard thrust of Jake’s hips as he took Caleb with complete abandon, or the way he pushed his face into the crook of Caleb’s neck and clamped down on the corded tendon with a wicked bite. “I love you.” Caleb bore his soul again. “Don’t.” Jake fucked Caleb with relentless fast strokes. “Please.” “I’m sorry.” The first pains of rejection gutted Caleb, but something masochistic pushed him forward into the morass of hurt. “I know you don’t want to hear it, and I promise tomorrow I’ll pretend I never said it” -- gripping fingers twisted in Caleb’s hair and pulled his head back, forcing his gaze to the blurred, out-of-control brightness in Jake’s -“but even if we never do this again” -- Jake growled and redoubled the pounding of Caleb’s channel -- “I won’t stop feeling it. I can’t. I love you, Jake. I love you for the rest of my life.” “No.” Jake lunged his mouth at Caleb’s, biting Caleb’s lips as if he could seal off the valve of a flood already spoken. “Please, no.” “Yes.” Caleb turned the stinging nip into a kiss, pouring everything inside him into that one word. “Yes.” Jake jerked, his cock pulsed in Caleb’s ass, and moments later, liquid heat burst in Caleb’s tunnel, filling him with semen. The seed of someone he loved. “Oh shit.” Caleb bucked and spilled himself, a concentrated, sharp orgasm that rippled low in his back and belly, one pulled out of him just from feeling Jake come. In the aftermath, the whistle in the biting air blew a freezing wind over the men, ominous in its chill. Caleb felt the change in temperature from Jake pulling away and leaving well before the actual bitter cold of autumn hit his naked flesh.

“We should go.” Jake straightened his jeans and belt, his voice as distant as the gaze that refused to meet Caleb’s. “Feels like a storm is coming in.” “Yeah.” Caleb didn’t dare say another word. Not that he could have anyway. Cutting pain held his throat captive, his ability to speak as shut down now as it had been open just a few moments ago. The men walked back to their trucks in silence, but the screaming damnation from Jake rang loud and clear in Caleb’s ears. Caleb had broken the one unspoken cardinal rule in his relationship with Jake. No longer just about sex for him, Caleb had transgressed egregiously by falling in love. Chapter Seventeen

Having spent much too long in town already, Jake paused in front of the sheriff’s station and wondered how idiotic he would look if he went inside and kicked up a fuss about the lack of suspects in Rock-nRoll’s shooting and the fence tampering. It nagged at Jake that he’d given his word to Caleb that he wouldn’t speak about the first shooting. His gut told him this was all connected. Caleb refused to risk it and share what happened to him, though, and Jake had no right to demand more. Especially after last night. Jake hadn’t shared Caleb’s bed last night after getting home, and Caleb had not come to Jake’s room demanding an explanation for his absence. Seeing the shuttered look on Caleb’s face this morning as they crossed paths in the horse barn, both checking on Dodger, Jake knew his withdrawal from Caleb’s declaration had severed their brief affair for good. Caleb hadn’t lied last night in the mountains. He swore he would never speak on his feelings again in the light of day, and by the chill in the air that had nothing to do with the time of year, it felt to Jake like Caleb had decided never to act on them again either.

The loss of closeness and friendship hit Jake hard enough to make his chest hurt, almost knocking his knees out from under him. That couldn’t even begin to compare to his heart stopping dead last night, and then feeling it ripped right out of his chest when Caleb had spoken those damn words. I love you. Why did Caleb have to go and say it and ruin everything? Jake already had a black spot on his soul for not having the willpower to deny himself the base gratification of sex with Caleb in the first place. If he let himself slip even further into an emotional bond of permanence that a word like love evoked -- an expression only his wife had ever used with him -- it would slight how very deeply Krista’s and his souls were intertwined. It didn’t matter to Jake that Krista only existed now in his memories of their life together. She was still his wife. That made it all the more important for Jake to let Caleb go. He owed it to Krista to keep her memory alive in his heart, always. He had a responsibility to hold her to this earth, to remember how very deeply she had loved him, and to cherish the beauty of her soul. If he didn’t keep her name and spirit with him, no one else would. And with Caleb, Jake had begun to let Krista slip away. Once upon a time, he swore never to let that happen. He needed to put a stop to his growing attachment to Caleb Hawkins before Krista disappeared forever. The door to the sheriff’s station was pushed open, and Deputy Maxine Stuart pulled up short, just missing plowing right into Jake. “Oh, Jake. Hi.” She put her hand under his elbow and guided him a half dozen feet away from the entrance. “Careful where you stop to take a breath. We tend to barge in and out of this place without ever looking up.” “Sorry.” Shaking off the darkness eating him up inside, Jake forced a smile to his lips. Max grinned right back, lighting up her deep brown eyes. “Woolgathering, I guess. Just thinking about what I’m gonna eat for dinner tonight.” A picture of Caleb’s hard cock sliding deep into his mouth filled Jake’s mind and tingled the virgin taste buds on his tongue. He had to push down a moan right there on the sidewalk. Clearing his throat he said, “About whether I need to make a stop at the grocery store while I’m in town, I mean.” “You want to have dinner with me tonight?”

Anything stronger than a breeze would have toppled Jake right over. “What?” “Nothing fancy,” Max added quickly. “It’s just that it’d be nice to cook a meal and know I won’t have to eat the leftovers for the next three days. Otherwise, I’m bringing home takeout. And since I so cleverly deduced you don’t have any plans yourself this evening…” Jake opened his mouth, but snapped it back shut before speaking a word. He had some experience declining dates since Krista’s passing, and knew how to do it politely. Jake reached down for the comfort of his wedding band, and touched only bare skin. He did that at least a half dozen times a day still; he couldn’t seem to get used to the ring not being there. Doing what he did with Caleb wouldn’t let him put it back on, though. With Max’s dark hair, dark eyes, smooth skin, and tall and curvaceous body, any man would consider himself lucky to have the attentions of this attractive, capable woman. Any man who didn’t have a dead wife he still adored and a guy back home who made him hard with one intimate, hot look. “What do you say, Jake?” Max asked, her eyes twinkling in a way that made her appear ten years younger than what he guessed to be her early to mid thirties. “Just share our company and have a little bit of fun? Simple as that.” Jake’s wife and his promise to her filled his thoughts, pushing the same “no thank you” he had given for more than six years to his lips. Caleb’s raw “I love you” echoed in Jake’s ears right on top of that, sending Jake’s heart to skittering with want. “What time should I come over?” left Jake’s lips. His chest constricting his entire middle, Jake prayed his smile didn’t look as strained as it felt. ***** “Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.” Caleb dropped the hammer to the ground and sucked his throbbing finger between his lips. It seemed he

couldn’t do one goddamned thing right anymore. Not even help out his sister-in-law with a simple repair job. “I told you I could do it. You didn’t have to rush right over here to help.” Cassie’s voice drifted down to Caleb from her position on the back porch, rocking in a glider, his niece sleeping on her chest. Little Brynn was so accustomed to noises all around the ranch that Caleb’s repairing the bottom two steps that led up to the porch didn’t faze her sleep in the slightest. “I know you’re capable, Cassie.” No condescending statement meant to pacify a woman, Caleb knew Cassie could do any work that running this house and ranch required. One didn’t doubt a female who knew how to castrate a bull. His own balls drew up just thinking about it. “I just felt like visiting and lending a hand.” “You know I love you, sweetie, and you’re welcome in this house anytime, but tell me the truth.” She put the baby down in a portable crib, and then landed a piercing gaze on him. “What’s really going on here? Why am I seeing such a lost look in your loving eyes?” More than a mere in-law, Cassie felt like another sibling to Caleb. She had lived with him and his brothers for five years as another member of their makeshift family before Connor could no longer deny his deeply buried love for her some ten years ago. Luckily for Connor, Cassie loved him back just as fiercely and had declared it on a rare full Halloween moon, an essential in the ritual required to turn a demon human. Cassie possessed a unique ability to see into the hearts of all the Hawkins men, and on days like today -- fucking A, he still could not believe what he so stupidly said to Jake last night -- Caleb found himself seeking out Cassie’s company for the simple fact that he could not bear the solitude any longer. He also couldn’t stand to see pity in his brothers’ eyes, helpless in aiding Caleb in what they each had that Caleb had yet to achieve. True love and humanity. “I don’t think I’m meant to find happiness,” Caleb answered. He went back to work, hammering nails with a resounding thwack, thwack,

thwack. “I think the universe demands balance, and I did too many” -he bit his lip and swallowed the confession back down, letting it choke him, as it should -- “distasteful things as a young man that cannot yet be forgiven. Recently, you know how much I wanted success with my bulls. I chased it relentlessly until I achieved it, feeling certain that once I made it into the PBR with them that I would taste that feeling that has eluded me for so long. Only, while I was out all last week touring, I found I didn’t really want to be on the road with them at all.” He looked up at Cassie and smiled, but his lips felt flat and tight. “Fate likes to play with me as a punishment. I want what I want until I get it, and then it leaves me feeling empty and tricked, like I don’t know my own mind anymore.” Same way it made me fall in love with a man instead of a woman, fooling me until I believed that gender alone would be enough to make a relationship with Jake different from any I’ve tried to have in my past. Cassie moved down the stairs and gently extricated the hammer from Caleb’s hand. Pulling him down to the middle step with her, she turned him to face her and took his hands loosely in hers. Her smile wobbled a little bit too, and it flattened Caleb right out to know she dealt with heavy emotions in empathy of his. “I don’t think you ever really wanted success with the bulls,” she finally said. “What?” Tugging, Caleb tried to scramble out of the death grip she suddenly put on his hands. “Of course I did. I’m not a complete idiot to spend almost four years chasing something I wanted to fail at.” “I apologize. I worded that badly.” She tugged their hands into a tangled ball on her lap. “Let me rephrase. What I meant is that I never really heard you talk about becoming a stock contractor until after you found a way for Cain to become human. I think seeing Connor and Cain achieve what you had not, and seeing them both so happy, hurt you, even though you love them and were pleased that they found mates. That was when you started looking for something to do with your time, and started talking about branching into bull stock contracting, never before. You want my opinion? I say you wanted something that would take you away from the ranch so that you didn’t

have to watch the two of them so happy with a partner every day, when you don’t have one yourself.” “Coincidence.” Untangling his suddenly sweating hands, Caleb pushed away until his back hit the railing. “We took over MacLesten’s property at that time too, you know. After getting everything settled down I wanted to try something new.” Cassie didn’t blink or take her eyes off him for one second. “I think you used stock contracting to try and fill a void for something you don’t think you’ll ever have yourself. Which is a ridiculous and skewed belief, Caleb. I don’t know what you did in your past that makes you think you are deserving of loneliness and punishment. You can tell me or keep it a secret; it doesn’t matter to me because there isn’t anything you could tell me that would change the good man who has been my friend since I was sixteen years old. Whatever it is, you have paid your dues in full. You do kind things and help your family and neighbors who need you, without thinking twice. I don’t know anyone more deserving of peace in their heart and unconditional love than you.” Her gaze, so very knowing, would not let Caleb tear his away. “Stop running away from your life, Caleb. Take a chance and start running toward something that you really, truly want.” Digging his fingers into the wood beneath him hard enough to feel splinters sinking into his flesh, Caleb clung to the stinging physical pain. Still, without words, Cassie wouldn’t let him hide. “What if what I want doesn’t want me back?” “Not possible.” Caleb chuckled halfheartedly, but a hint of ease did loosen the knot in his chest. “Believe me, sis. It is possible.” “Maybe it’s not a matter of not wanting you back,” Cassie offered, “but rather a pattern of running, just the same as you. Try again. I know you, Caleb. I know you don’t want to be that guy who regrets chances not taken. You’re braver than that, and you deserve to find someone who will dedicate themselves to you as fully as you have done for your family. It’s your turn at happiness, sweetie. Don’t be afraid to grab it and hold on with both hands. I know that love exists for you. I can feel it in my gut. I don’t accept the scenario of you

spending the rest of your life alone.” She grinned wickedly. “And you know how I like to be right. Don’t break my streak, or I swear to God I’ll haunt you from the grave, and I’ll make my children take an oath to haunt you too. Don’t make me go down that road. I feel certain it wouldn’t win me Mother of the Year.” Right on cue, a hell of a wail burst forth from Brynn, causing both Caleb and Cassie to jump. “See?” Cassie took the stairs to her daughter in a quick burst of energy. “She doesn’t want to have to spend her afterlife following around her Uncle Caleb.” Picking the baby up, Cassie settled the nine-month-old high on her chest and shoulder. “Spare nothing in declaring your heart, Caleb.” Her gaze connected to his, and he would swear she not only knew every goddamned moment he had spent with Jake, but the rest of his ugly history as well. Caleb knew she couldn’t. Not even Connor knew the details of that. “You can’t do any less than what you demanded Connor and Cain do for themselves. I think you’ll surprise yourself by ending up with far more than you dreamed. “Okay, that’s enough advice out of me. I need to change Brynn and go pick the other two kids up in town.” Caleb raced up the stairs and pulled the door open for her. “Thank you.” Leaning up on tiptoe, she pecked a kiss on his cheek. “Stay as long as you want. You know this will always be your home. You can finish fixing my steps while you think. See you later.” “Bye.” Caleb let the door slowly swish closed on its own, his mind and heart more a jumble of confusion now than the endless hours he’d spent in bed alone last night, cursing himself and his idiot big mouth. He might have had years with Jake if only he had kept his feelings to himself. Spending last night and all of today wishing he could take his words back, now one short conversation with Cassie planted new seeds of doubt in Caleb’s head. While he may have continued to share a bed with Jake if he hadn’t said what he did, now he wondered if it would have suffocated him to feel such depth of emotion and always have to guard himself against Jake ever seeing it. Perhaps it was for the best to end it now.

Unless I take Cassie’s advice and try again. If Caleb could sit Jake down and have a very straightforward conversation with him, without the intensity of sex thrown in the mix, maybe Jake would open up to the possibility of Caleb’s feelings -- or at the very least, not hold them against him. Caleb grabbed up his tools and got back to fixing the stairs, his mind racing with what he would say were he brave enough to have that talk with Jake. ***** Pausing at his front door, Caleb took a deep breath, and then wished he hadn’t. Sweat, grime, cattle hair, and manure all assaulted his nostrils in cascading layers. Damn, he stank. That’s what he got for going to look for Connor to say hi before leaving his stretch of the property. Roped into work. He would have to sneak up the stairs and take a quick shower before searching Jake out in one of the offices. Christ, I hope the man hasn’t run. Especially since Caleb had spent the majority of the afternoon bucking up his courage and scripting what he would say tonight when they crossed paths. He wanted Jake. He was damned tired of running. Caleb opened and closed the door quietly, and took the stairs two at a time. As he reached the landing and turned for his room, Jake’s bedroom door opened, and there stood the man who had taken over his very life and heart. “Hi.” Caleb’s voice came across high and breathy, and he knew he stared. Every hair in place, every button done up, rugged lace-up shoes that Caleb had never seen the man wear before, the jeans dark and the belt black… Caleb dug his own dirty boots into the carpet runner so that he didn’t rush the man. “You look nice. If you give me ten minutes to shower and change we can eat together, and maybe have a little talk.” Jake opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His gaze flickered away from Caleb for two beats and then came back, this time holding steady.

“I can’t.” The scratchy timbre in his voice rubbed over Caleb in places that already ached for Jake’s touch. “I have a date.” Chapter Eighteen

Jake has a date. No, no, no, no. Heat erupted within Caleb and blazed an inferno of emotions through him that he could not control. Please, please, go the fuck away, screamed in Caleb’s head. For the first time in more than a century, Caleb couldn’t stop it. The change ripped painfully through his body in a way he had not experienced in more than a lifetime, and right in front of Jake, the demon emerged. Horror widened Jake’s eyes as Caleb’s face regressed and remapped itself with the heaviness of his demon heritage. Jake’s gaze darted up, watching with obvious, abject fascination as Caleb’s demon horns pushed up through his skull. His spine took over his back under his shirt, and Caleb had never been so grateful for a piece of checked cotton in his hundred and eighty years of life. Squeezing his hands into tight fists, Caleb fought an internal battle to shove the demon back inside, desperate to regain control of at least one part of his life. Unbearable heat boiled inside Caleb, though, winning the fight. Shame, humiliation, and anger wanted the freedom to hurt, maim, and destroy, all over four little words: I have a date. “Excuse me.” Caleb pushed past Jake to his bedroom, unable to stand there and become the object of fantastic scrutiny for the man who owned his heart but didn’t want it. “Go have your date. Have fun. It’s the way it should be.” “Caleb.” Jake snatched Caleb’s arm and whipped him around, and Caleb bared his teeth at Jake, as a feral animal would. Caleb fairly vibrated under the touch of Jake’s hand wrapped around his forearm. With a masochistic bent brewing inside him, he left it there to see if it would burn a brand into his skin.

“You should go.” Caleb forced flatness into his gaze before lifting it to Jake’s. “I bounce back easy. I’ve been doing it for a long, long time. I know how to move on to the next fun thing. You’re certainly big enough proof of that.” Jake’s hand abruptly fell away, as if Caleb had burned him. “Maybe I shouldn’t come home tonight,” Jake said. “It might be time to start thinking about looking for a new foreman. I don’t think I should be here anymore.” The stab of Jake’s words struck home, doing damage to a major artery. Caleb only stiffened, refusing to show the flood. “Do whatever the hell you want. We have no ties to each other. Never did.” “So I’ll go.” Jake dropped his gaze and backed away. The rejection punched Caleb low in the gut, but again, he didn’t waver. “Have a blast.” He leaned his hand on the newel post at the top of the stairs, his fingers digging into the wood with enough force to bruise, while his other hand swept over the stairs in a flourish. “I won’t wait up.” Jake walked past, and it amazed Caleb he didn’t break the rounded top off the thick, ornate wood under his palm. Jake kept moving without looking back, and Caleb didn’t twitch a muscle until he heard one of the trucks roar to life and peel away from the ranch. Black rage took Caleb over right then, and he tore the whole newel post out of the floor and used it as a baseball bat, punching holes in every hallway wall upstairs before the demon fell, exhausted and sated, only then allowing the human within to return to his body. Caleb took over then, and started to drink. ***** The problem with having demon blood, Caleb bitched to himself hours later, was that alcohol couldn’t hurl the mind and body into oblivion the way it could with a human. Caleb didn’t care that the balm might be a false one. Right now, sitting in the darkness of his living room, he wanted oblivion.

Maybe he should go out and get himself a woman too. He had casual friendships with a few women in town; surely one of them would invite him into her bed again. He thought about Max Stuart, a hell of a woman who liked an occasional good time with no strings attached, and wondered if it would offend her to get a call so late in the evening. Caleb slipped his cell out of its clip but couldn’t muster up the energy to flip the phone open, let alone feel any sort of interest brew inside him for the act. Goddamned fucking Jake Chase and his haunted eyes. Goddamned Caleb for thinking he had something to offer Jake that might take some of that pain away. Neither one of them was even gay, for Christ’s sake. How had Caleb let himself get to this place, when he damn well knew better? He couldn’t really have a future with Jake, even if Jake wanted him. Forget fate -- something that certainly would have stepped in and separated them at some point in the near future anyway. More than that, Caleb would remain a demon regardless, knowing that he would have to watch Jake grow old and die, while he had to go on living hundreds of years beyond without Jake at his side. Caleb couldn’t survive that. If he thought it gutted him to see Jake walk away tonight… Caleb had so much ugliness in his past too, things he could never tell Jake. They couldn’t even have honesty between them; at least, not true honesty. Daphne, and everything that came before her… Caleb’s chest constricted as big violet eyes took over his mind. Christ, his betrayal of her innocence and her feelings for him… Stuffing her deep down, he chuckled derisively, knowing that what came after Daphne hadn’t been a pretty picture either. So much sex. With so little respect for the power it held over a person. Caleb still hadn’t learned his lesson. For just a moment, he felt he had a purpose in his life: to love Jake. He stupidly believed that love would make the difference for him this time.

“Idiot.” Caleb swiped the bottle of bourbon off the low table in front of where he lay on the couch, took another swig, and let the heat burn its way down his throat and light a fire in his belly. Slam! The thundering resonance of the front door banging closed shook the walls, rattling the line of beer bottles Caleb had lined up on the coffee table. Caleb leaped to his feet, but took only one step before a big body loomed in the doorway, blocking the soft light from the foyer. Jake stood in the shadows, emanating authority in bruising, cascading waves. If Caleb didn’t know any better, he would have sworn the man standing some ten feet away from him possessed the demon blood, not the other way around. Jake stuck out his hand and pointed, his entire arm -- no, body -shaking as he did it. “You.” The word registered low and sounded like the worst sort of curse, making Caleb shiver. “You did this. You.” His hackles suddenly rising, Caleb took a challenging step forward. “I didn’t do shit to you that you didn’t want too, so leave me the hell alone.” He took another long drag off the bottle of bourbon and waved it in the air. “What the fuck are you doing here anyway?” He felt a snarl take over his face, but couldn’t control it. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a date?” A low, raging sound unlike anything Caleb had ever heard erupted out of Jake, and he charged Caleb like an angry bull. Hitting Caleb in a tackle, Jake wrapped his arms around Caleb and knocked them both onto the coffee table, sending bottles flying in every direction. Momentum rolled the men onto the floor where Caleb landed on his back with a hard thud, the pressure from front and back briefly stealing his breath. Jake didn’t let up for a second, punishing Caleb with pummeling fists to Caleb’s face and shoulders and chest. “I couldn’t do it, damn it. I couldn’t do it.” Caleb rolled, dodging a hit to his jaw, but gasped and choked when Jake’s jab hit him in the neck instead, temporarily paralyzing him with sharp, striking pain. “I couldn’t do it.”

Tired of this shit, Caleb scissored his legs around Jake’s and locked them in place. Flipping Jake to his side, he managed to get hold of one of Jake’s wrists, and with struggling force kept it off his face. “What, damn it!” Jake fought Caleb’s hold with his superior size, but Caleb locked his thighs around Jake’s and took a lot of his fighting power away. “What couldn’t you do?” “I had her.” Still pushing and pulling with his arms, Jake felt wound up tight as a coil. His eyes shining bright with moisture, he said, “I was there. She wanted me and was willing. I had her on the couch underneath me, with my hand up her shirt, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take her.” Jake’s anguish permeated the room and seeped into Caleb’s bones, stripping away his need to lash out. “So you couldn’t fuck her.” Holding onto the tension in Jake’s forearms, Caleb pulled him in close and brushed a kiss over his lips. Caleb soothed and whispered again, “It’s okay. That’s all right.” A ragged noise caught in Jake’s throat. He kissed back, clinging to Caleb with desperation for a moment, and then thrashed once again, breaking apart. “No, no, no. I can’t let you do this.” “Why?” Exposure scraped Caleb raw, but he had no ability to fight the pain in Jake’s eyes, or protect his heart from the potential downfall of another rejection at this man’s hands. “We both want it, Jake. Why not?” “Because you’re not supposed to be the reason, goddamn you!” With incredible power, Jake tore himself away, scrambling backward in a crabwalk until he hit up against a wall. His eyes haunted and taking over his face, Jake tore through Caleb with one glance. “For six years, I couldn’t make myself take a woman because Krista fills my head and my heart. That’s the way it should be. It’s the way I want it. I love her. I love my wife.” Caleb closed his eyes, stiffening himself not to crumble under Jake’s truth. “I know you do.” Summoning everything selfless in him, Caleb crawled over to this man who so desperately loved a ghost. He reached out, trying to offer comfort. “You’ve never lied and tried to hide your feelings for her.” Pushing in between Jake’s bent legs,

Caleb took Jake’s face in his hands and wouldn’t let the answering flinch hurt him enough to back off. “Krista holds you so tightly you weren’t able to let yourself take the woman you were with tonight. I’m sure she understood and doesn’t hate you for leading her on.” “I don’t fucking care about whether or not she thinks I’m a tease!” The fight refueled in Jake in a flash. He ripped Caleb’s hands off him and pushed Caleb to the floor, falling on top of him. Fire burned in Jake’s wet gaze, glittering with pools of green. He wrapped his big hands around Caleb’s legs, digging in with his fingers as he spread them wide and quickly filled the space he cleared. “I didn’t see Krista tonight, Caleb.” He ground his weight into Caleb with bruising force, drawing a curse out of his own mouth and a whimper of need from Caleb. “I saw you.” Pushing his hands between their bellies, Jake yanked on Caleb’s belt and jeans, shoving clothes down just enough to get them out of the way. “Not my wife; the way it should be, the way I promised her it would always be, but you.” He squeezed and pulled on Caleb’s erection without gentleness, drawing a moan out of Caleb that he was unsure whether came from pleasure or pain. “It was you I kept seeing when I tried to touch her and kiss her. I couldn’t take her because I could only see you. I only wanted you.” “Oh, Jesus God.” Everything inside Caleb exploded in a fast rush of renewed life, pushing this newfound love that he could not hide into every corner of his body. He wrapped his hand around Jake’s neck and dragged the man’s lips down to his. “Don’t ever let me go.” Caleb didn’t care if that meant a hand around his dick jacking him off or arms holding him tight at night. He would take whatever he could get, for as long as Jake and the universe let him have it. Caleb touched his mouth to Jake’s, crying inside at feeling those warm, hard lips pressed to his again. “Kiss me back.” His plea barely held audible human sound. “Please.” “Yes.” Jake bit and forced his way inside, eating at Caleb’s mouth as if he had been denied nourishment for a week. “Yes.” Caleb kissed Jake back with equal violence, their teeth and tongues clashing against one another as Caleb fought to leave a mark on something he knew wasn’t meant for him. “Yes.” Letting go of Caleb’s cock, Jake tore the snaps open on Caleb’s shirt and quickly dipped down to his chest, latching hard onto a nipple and sucking with insane power.

“Yesss…” Caleb bucked off the floor and delved his fingers into Jake’s hair, squirming and pulling, struggling against the myriad of sensations Jake drew out of him with that one touch. Caleb ached for Jake’s hands and mouth on him in exploration. That the man did it on his own, while rubbing a hard-on against Caleb’s thigh, swirled dangerously weepy emotions in Caleb, ones he labored with everything in him to keep concealed. Jake did daily battle to keep the memory of his wife alive, and since Caleb knew he couldn’t have forever, he pushed down the words he wanted to say, knowing they only made Jake’s plight that much more difficult to maintain. Caleb could keep his love buried for many years, if it meant Jake stayed with him, sharing a bed and a semblance of a life together. Jake licked his way across Caleb’s tingling chest and took a good suctioning drag on Caleb’s other nipple, drawing forth such heightened, focused pleasure a little spit of cum escaped his cock, smearing on Jake’s torso. Reaching down and grabbing fast, Caleb pulled on his nuts, refusing to come so quickly. “Hold onto that for a minute.” Jake’s hazy green eyes looked up at Caleb as he trailed a line of baby kisses down Caleb’s stomach, making Caleb tremble. “I want as much of you in my mouth as I can get before you come.” “Christ, man.” Caleb sucked in an unsteady breath, staring as Jake moved closer to his goal, inch by agonizing inch over the smooth texture of Caleb’s flat lower belly. “If you don’t hurry it up, you’re not gonna get much before I blow.” Wrapping his hand around the base of Caleb’s cock, Jake slipped the mushroom tip past his lips and sucked on the head. Caleb bowed up in the middle in response, wheezing through gritted teeth at the picture of his dick in Jake’s mouth. Christ, he didn’t think it would ever happen. Jake took a little bit more inside, applying moist suction that felt like a warm summer day playing at the lake with your best friend. So damn good, Caleb squeezed his balls, hurting himself so that he didn’t shove the rest of the way in and come down Jake’s throat. Jake bobbed his head up and down Caleb’s straining erection with slow, steady strokes, enveloping ever more of Caleb’s dick inside his

wet heat every time he did it. Caleb tightened his muscles and tried not to squirm, but he couldn’t help it; he’d never been closer to a moment of perfection in his life. Moaning, Jake started dragging harder and faster, torturing Caleb with the expertise of his novice mouth. Jake may not have any experience sucking cock, but he obviously knew what he liked and employed it on Caleb. He slid his hands under Caleb’s ass and lifted him up, gobbling so much length Caleb almost screamed at the hot picture Jake made. With Jake’s fingers slipping in between his crack, inadvertently spreading him open, Caleb’s backdoor pulsed with its own racing heartbeat, begging for some of the action. Jake mumbled something incomprehensible, sending the most wonderful vibrations dancing through Caleb’s prick. He jerked against Jake’s nimble tongue, his body trying to come in a way he still wouldn’t allow. Looking up at him through the most beautiful eyes Caleb had ever seen, Jake pulled off Caleb’s dick, the head bouncing against his lips as he said, “Let go and co --” Caleb released his testicles on the first word, and before Jake could finish, Caleb bucked and spewed, incapable of holding his orgasm back without aid. He cried out as the coiling sensation swirled through him fast. He shot on Jake’s lips, chin, and neck, coating the man in long lines of thick, creamy cum. Caleb opened his mouth, horrified that Jake would think he’d come on his face deliberately, in some kind of marking of territory, as if he were an animal spraying the land. Jake crawled up and fell on Caleb before the first hanging line of semen dropped from his chin. He smashed his mouth down on Caleb’s, stealing a hard, deep kiss. Caleb tasted the heat of Jake’s desire mixed in with his own sharply bitter seed, so much more pungent than Jake’s thinner, saltier ejaculate. Caleb opened up for the tangle of Jake’s tongue, accepting the stinging nip of Jake’s teeth, masculine in his aggression, something Caleb discovered he wanted and needed more and more every day. “I want you,” Jake said, his voice smoky and full of rust. He rocked Caleb’s hips up, crushing his bulge into Caleb’s crease, scratching the fabric of his jeans over Caleb’s bud and the sensitive flesh inside his

crack that rarely experienced Jake’s touch. “I know it hasn’t been twenty-four hours, but it feels like twenty-four days since I last slid inside your perfect, tight ass.” Caleb swore to God his hole fluttered and opened for Jake right there, just with Jake’s words. “I think there’s still that stuff from before that slipped under the couch.” Desperate for the connection, he shoved Jake off him in the direction of the sofa, accidentally knocking him into the coffee table. “Sorry.” Thank goodness the beer bottles hadn’t shattered; they had just rolled on the rug until they hit a wall. “Get the lube while I get these jeans and boots the rest of the way off.” Jake groaned, but shimmied under the table and pushed his arm beneath the couch to the shoulder anyway. “Damn it, your eagerness hits my system like whiskey.” Caleb could tell Jake moved his hand around under the piece of furniture, but he had his head turned to face Caleb, watching openly as Caleb disrobed, until he stood nude in the half-lit room, his cock already stirring again under Jake’s intense stare. “God, Caleb.” Jake’s gaze lingered all up and down Caleb’s length, his cheeks darkening with color. “You have the most incredible body.” Caleb chuckled, but at the same time puffed up a little straighter. “I have the same damn crazy thought about yours.” “I know. It’s the most bizarre goddamned thing to think and feel about another man after all this time.” A flash of a smile came over Jake’s stern features, and he unearthed his arm. “Got it.” Caleb laughed, quickly circling around the table to help Jake to his feet. Jake clasped his hand around Caleb’s outstretched one, and Caleb pulled, not stopping until their chests touched, with Caleb having to look up just the slightest bit to see the twinkle lighting Jake’s eyes, catching Caleb in the heart. Christ, I want to do everything I can to keep this look of peace in Jake’s eyes that I see right now. He tore open Jake’s shirt, sending buttons flying, the pings of a few reaching his ears as they hit the table before bouncing to the floor.

“Hey!” Jake snaked an arm around Caleb’s waist and dragged him in close. “That’s my only nice shirt.” Even as he said it, he toed off his shoes. Frantic for every inch of Jake, Caleb pushed the shirt off his shoulders and arms to the floor, and then started on his belt and jeans. “I’ll buy you a new one. Hell” -- he pushed Jake onto the couch before kneeling at his feet to finish undressing him -- “if you can get that cock of yours slicked up in the next ten seconds, I’ll buy you two.” “God, baby, there’s that hot eagerness of yours again.” Jake locked his gaze on Caleb as he snapped open the cap on a tiny, sample size bottle of extra-thick anal lube. After that morning in the shower, Caleb had cruised a few online sex store sites. Shocked at his lack of modern education for all the sex he’d participated in, he just hadn’t realized the selection of products out there on the market, and so had randomly bought a good half dozen different brands of anal lubricant, paying extra for express delivery. Thank God he had. He couldn’t imagine having to stop now and run upstairs to look for that original tube his brother had given him. His ass actually quivered with anticipation at the memory of Jake filling him to the brim. Caleb stretched out his hand, and Jake transferred a smear of the stuff from his fingers to Caleb’s. His own cock straining, Caleb watched Jake coat himself in the shiny substance while he reached behind himself, pulling a cheek aside and rubbing his bud with the cool, slick goo, purring when he pushed a little bit inside. “Quit working your damn finger in there and come get this.” Jake held up his cock from the base, all thick, red, and shiny, the slit already pearling a bead of precum. “I may not last long tonight, but I fucking want to feel you all around me before I come.” “Jesus, you know I want that too.” Thinking fast and wanting to try something new, Caleb turned away from Jake before sitting down on his lap, his legs on the inside of Jake’s spread ones. Feeling the length of Jake’s erection slipping in between his crack, Caleb moaned and bent over at the waist, thrusting his buttocks back even farther. “Hold me open and put yourself inside me.” He pressed the tips of his fingers against the edge of the coffee table for support. “Watch

yourself as you split me open and fill me until you can’t get in even one centimeter more.” “Damn it, Caleb.” A tremble rocked through Jake, penetrating into Caleb. “You’re not helping me figure out how to slow down with you when you talk like that.” The familiar pressure of the man’s thumb against his entrance broke out a fine sheen of sweat over Caleb’s entire body, already trained to know what would come next. “For once I’d like to make this part last for more than five minutes.” “Lots, ohhh…” His pucker let Jake’s thumb in, and Jake went right for his hot button and teased for one fast stroke, giving Caleb paradise, only to pull out and deny him full joy. “…and lots of practice. Mmm, yeah.” Caleb bit his lip, the sharp sting of a thicker entry wiggling through him as Jake pushed his way inside with his cock, stretching Caleb’s ring with a light burning sensation that Caleb had grown to crave and want. “Oh damn it, Jake. You feel so good it makes me hard right from the start now.” “God, that’s all I want.” Jake curled his hands around Caleb’s hips and settled him fully on his lap. The shift angled the rub of Jake’s cock in a different way, drawing low moans out of both men as it happened. “I want to learn how to make you feel good all of the time.” Sliding his hands up, Jake encased Caleb in the snug hold of his arms, wrapping him up tight around his waist and chest. “You’re doing a damn good job of that right now.” Caleb’s head fell back against Jake’s shoulder, and as one, they slowly started to move. Shifting his hips in a tiny circular pattern, Caleb basked in the aura of Jake’s deep breathing, and in the way he turned his head and pressed his lips to Caleb’s temple, his arms flexing against Caleb’s middle with each tiny thrust. Jake might not ever allow himself to love another person, but he proved he felt a powerful connection to Caleb with every touch and caress, every time he couldn’t stay away. The new awareness stoked the simmering fire in Caleb, and with a whimper, he started to move back and forth over Jake’s embedded cock. The motion stirred even more new sensations and had him sinking his fingers into Jake’s thighs, desperately trying to hold off the inevitable end.

“Ohh.” At the same time, Caleb bounced and pulled down on Jake’s invasion, stretching his hole open wider than the width of Jake’s cock. “That feels so different. Help me. Oh, yeah…” Jake speared up into Caleb’s channel, stealing his breath. At the same time, one of Caleb’s hands and one of Jake’s joined forces at Caleb’s cock, tangling as they surrounded his prick and started to pull. Panting at Caleb’s ear, Jake whispered roughly, “I’m close.” Together, they covered the length of Caleb’s ridiculously sensitive prick in tight, fast drags. “Are you close?” Biting his lip, Caleb nodded. He turned his head and found Jake waiting for him there, eyes bright and steady. “I’m always close when I’m with you.” The words slipped out, unchecked. With the solid wall of Jake’s chest at Caleb’s back, Jake shared in jerking Caleb off. The hard length of his legs lining Caleb’s, and the sensation of being surrounded by Jake, along with the fullness of Jake’s cock buried in his ass, quickly drove Caleb mad. Knowing now that Jake wouldn’t leave tomorrow, Caleb couldn’t fight the love burning hot within him. He eviscerated the distance between them and sealed his mouth to Jake’s in a searing kiss, pushing the words into Jake in another way, even if only Caleb knew it. Jake made a strangled sound, clawing at Caleb’s chest as he bit and kissed back. He thrust his tongue inside Caleb’s mouth at the exact same time he reared up, his cock swelling and exploding in Caleb’s ass, pumping hard as he filled Caleb full of steaming spunk. Caleb loved nothing more than Jake losing himself in their mating. The heat of Jake’s cum coating him had Caleb jerking and coming too, shuddering on top of Jake as he unleashed a load of ejaculate all over his chest and stomach, the shaking within him not stopping until the final spit of seed left his body. The tension in the man beneath Caleb released too, but he kept a hold on Caleb so that he didn’t topple to the side. His head dropping back to rest on the couch, Jake flashed a quick glance at Caleb, gave him a small smile, but then closed his eyes. “I’m so fucking exhausted. I don’t know if I can make it up the stairs tonight.”

“That’s one of the benefits of sharing the house with only me as your roommate.” Caleb shifted lazily, drawing them down across the couch on their sides, wherein Jake immediately wrapped his arm around Caleb’s waist and tugged him back against his chest. Giving himself this one thing, Caleb burrowed in close. “I don’t care where you crash” -- he took an unsteady breath -- “as long as you occasionally let me lay there too.” “More than occasionally, Hawkins.” Jake jutted his chin over Caleb’s shoulder and settled his cheek on top of Caleb’s. “You have that much. I think you know that.” Caleb did. And while he had never respected other people settling in place of true love, with this man, Caleb would take whatever piece of Jake he could get. Chapter Nineteen

Jake came in through the kitchen, pausing to wipe his boots on the sea grass porcupine shoe cleaner sitting on the back porch by the door. Removing his coat and hat, he hung them on hooks by the door, right next to Caleb’s. His body hummed with an underlying excitement at seeing Caleb again after what they’d shared last night -- not to mention this morning in the shower. Geez, the guy had an insatiable appetite, and Jake had slipped so far away from his vow to Krista that he had no hope of recovering his pledge to her by stopping with Caleb now. Moreover, in a piece of his soul that grew bigger every day, Jake knew he didn’t want this thing to end. He would face his wife’s condemnation in the afterlife, but God, right now, sharing this time with Caleb, working this ranch, reminded Jake that he still had a heart that beat with life, when for so long he believed himself permanently dead inside. “Caleb! Are you home?” A nasty flu bug had taken down a big chunk of Connor’s men, so Caleb had helped out by working that piece of the property today along with a dozen of Jake and Caleb’s hands. “I’m in the den watching the news!” Caleb shouted in answer, making Jake laugh. “Join me, if you dare!” Jake and Caleb had discovered that

they each had a penchant for talking to the television. Caleb, in particular, liked to shout during the news. Shaking his head, Jake paused long enough to take a couple of pizzas out of the freezer and throw them into the oven. Setting the temperature to three hundred fifty degrees and his watch to go off in thirty minutes, Jake moved down the back hallway to the foyer, where rooms opened up on the right and left of the grand staircase. Heading toward the den, Jake lectured himself to exhibit a little control and not jump on Caleb five seconds after entering the room. After all, he hadn’t even taken a shower yet. Not that Caleb seemed to mind when Jake smelled like his work. All of Jake’s intentions, amorous or otherwise, flew out the window the second he crossed the threshold to the den. Directly in his line of sight, on the mantel, sandwiched between a picture of Caleb with his brothers and one of his nieces and nephew, stood a photo of Jake and his wife. Jake darted his focus to a cluster of photographs arranged on a side table, his heart skipping a beat and then racing when he immediately picked out the picture of Krista holding up a giant rainbow trout, a big smile on her face and a twinkle in her chocolate eyes. “What have you done?” Everything in his body seizing, Jake raced to the mantel and snatched the photo down, clutching it to his chest. Two big strides later, he grabbed the other one and rounded on Caleb, everything in him boiling to a flash point. “Why did you do this?” Caleb jumped to his feet and reached out, but Jake sidestepped out of his reach. “This is my life, my wife. You went into my room and rifled through my personal things? You have no right.” Jake’s blood rushed through his body too fast and turned him into one giant, raw nerve ending. “You had no place violating my privacy like this.” “You live here, Jake.” Caleb’s blue eyes shone with that same vulnerable light that came over him during sex, and Jake steeled himself not to fall for it. The man had no right to touch his property. Caleb took another tentative step forward, and Jake moved out of his reach again. Caleb’s hands fell to his sides, and he didn’t try to touch Jake again.

“I want you to stay for a long, long time,” Caleb said, his voice trembling. “I know how much you love Krista, and I know you can’t let her go. Someone that important to you deserves to be out in the open everywhere in this house, right alongside the photos of my family and those that I love.” “You put her pictures all over the place?” Jake flew out of the den to the living room, and immediately spotted his wedding photo next to Connor and Cassie’s. Jake turned, and with Caleb on his heels, almost slammed into the guy in his race to the office. Sure enough, mixed in on a bookshelf Jake found his favorite, a photo of Krista all bundled up for a storm, a furry hood surrounding her face, showing the brightness in her eyes, the apple sheen of her cheeks, her pert nose, and her heart-shaped lips. “I left some in your bedroom,” Caleb said softly. The tentative, unsteady way Caleb spoke those words had Jake whirling to face the man. Caleb shuffled from foot to foot, and his gaze wouldn’t hold still. “And I took a few out of that little red album and stuck them in the mirror in my room.” Jake’s hand flew to his mouth, stifling a sob. “I can’t believe you think you had any right to do this.” His feet moving faster than his brain, Jake stumbled and pushed past Caleb. He climbed the stairs two at a time, his gaze again assessing the wrecked hallway walls that Caleb had yet to explain. “I didn’t mean to overstep my place, Jake.” Caleb stayed so close on Jake’s back he could feel the man’s breath heating the nape of his neck. “I was trying to help. I remembered seeing all the pictures in your room when you first moved in, and then the other day I noticed they were gone. I thought maybe it had something to do with me. You know, the guilt you feel about what we’re doing together.” Jake came to a halt in front of Caleb’s mirror, and his fingers automatically rose, touching over the captured images of his beautiful wife. “It does,” he whispered, his heart fluttering as tenderness filled him to overflowing. “I promised Krista forever on the day we married, and I meant it. On the day she died” -- he squeezed the framed photos even tighter to his chest -- “I vowed that my love for her would never

die, that I would remain true to her always and never replace her in my heart. In six years, I never even came close to breaking that with another woman… And then, oh God, what we did in the kitchen. After that, I couldn’t bear to look in her eyes when I knew I’d broken my word.” “You haven’t betrayed her, Jake,” Caleb said, his voice low, but infused with conviction. “You can trust me on that.” “Of course I have.” Jake turned and found Caleb sitting at the foot of the bed. “We’ve been going at it like teenagers ever since that night in the kitchen. Just because I can’t get you pregnant as proof doesn’t mean it’s not legitimate or that it isn’t real sex.” A quick storm brewed in Caleb’s eyes. “And that also doesn’t mean for one second that you ever exist with me without Krista front and center in your heart, and probably ingrained in all of your thoughts too.” “I never told you any different.” “And I’m not saying that you ever did, damn it!” Caleb shot to his feet and stalked Jake, bowing him back, the dresser digging into the small of his back as Caleb planted his fists on the surface on either side of Jake. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t also feel her with us every time we’re together. She’s always with us in the room, no matter what we’re doing. You may be having sex with me, and possibly even trying to build a little something special, but I don’t for one second ever forget that you come as a package deal. We’re in a ménage here, Jake. It just happens that one of our threesome is a spirit.” Jake could see the strain that Caleb tried to hide, the tiredness in his eyes that he fought for something he already knew he could not win. “I’m sorry.” Putting the pictures down, Jake touched the hard lines pinching Caleb’s face, tried to soothe that pain for which he held responsibility. “I never meant to hurt you or lead you on, but I can’t help it. I can’t stop loving her.” “You don’t understand.” Turning his head, Caleb pressed a kiss to Jake’s hand, his eyes closing, shutting Jake out for an agonizing moment before opening and connecting again. “I don’t want you to

stop loving her. Krista is a big piece of what makes you, you.” Caleb reached past Jake and slipped one of the loose pictures out of the mirror, one of Krista in her familiar boots, jeans, red shirt, and hat -one of the last taken before she passed. “This woman is a part of your very being, and someone you don’t want to release from your heart. I would never presume to ask you to do it. Therefore, if I want to have something with you -- and every second we’re together, I can’t seem to hide how much I do -- then that makes her a part of my life too. Stop hiding her, Jake. Stop thinking that you have to. Let her out into this house where I can see her. Tell me stories about her so that I can get to know her. Give me a chance to prove to you that I can accept her and love her just as much as you do.” His mind reeling, Jake clutched Caleb’s shirt where it rode against his belly. God, he had his mind full of Krista, and he still couldn’t help but notice the flat wall of muscle, full up with the life of a warm, real, male body, heating his hands. Jake very deliberately unclenched his fingers and stumbled to the bed, his vision a blur as the blood rushed too fast through his body. Putting his head in his hands, the corner of the photo poked him in the cheek. Damn it, everything felt so out of whack he hadn’t even realized he’d done it, but he must have snatched the picture out of Caleb’s hand. Smoothing the tattered edges as best he could, Jake ran the tip of his finger over the line of his wife’s curvy figure. Her love shone through the picture, capturing him straight in the heart, as it always did. The true happiness that showed through her eyes always made Jake stagger when he got near to her; seeing it in a picture didn’t do much to dull the effect. Kind of the way Caleb’s eyes hold me when we take down the walls during sex. With a start, Jake snapped his gaze up to Caleb’s. He found it unguarded…and patiently waiting for Jake to decide. Jake looked down at Krista’s loving face again, barely seeing her through the wetness streaming down his face. “The funny thing about it is that she really would have liked you, and that would have made me damned jealous and insecure. You have an easy laugh and are quick to lend a

hand, and those are the kinds of things Krista gravitated to and admired in people, the things that made her come to me all excited and say, ‘I met this really great, fun person. You have to meet so-andso, stock jock, because I know you’re gonna love ’em too.’” Caleb moved with careful steps, and sat at the foot of the bed. He drew one of his legs up and rested his chin on his knee. “Stock jock?” he asked, his voice wavering just a hair, clearly still uncertain whether he had permission to dive into the pool that was Krista Chase. Jake chuckled as the memory floated within him, making him sit up taller, as if someone had lifted a weight off his shoulders. “We met on a ranch down in Wyoming. She kept the office and computers organized, although hell, I later learned she could ride bareback and help birth just about any animal, so she didn’t have any fear over getting dirty or breaking a nail. Ownership hired me to manage their horse stock, which I happily did, but I made it a point to look over their cattle operation and openly give my opinion on some of their choices in regard to that stock too.” “Young and certain you knew best, huh?” Caleb said, a small smile tilting his lips upward. Nodding, Jake raised a knowing brow. “Young enough, but old enough to where I should have known better. Looking back, I consider myself lucky they didn’t fire me on the spot. I kept working, and word got around that I thought I knew everything about everything to do with ranches. A couple of months later, this pretty, dark-haired girl who had caught my eye on my first day, but was way too out of my league for me to look at twice, comes up to me and says, ‘Look, I know you’re some kind of stock jock who supposedly has a magical connection to animals, but you don’t know diddly about women. How many more signals am I gonna have to throw your way before you ask me out?’” “Not afraid to get to the point.” Caleb drew the photo out of Jake’s hand and glanced down at it while he spoke. “I like her already.” “Yeah, you would have.” Tensing for the familiar stab of pain for his loss, this time Jake only felt a small trickle of blood, rather than a gusher. “Anyway, it took me a good few minutes to get my jaw off the

ground and remember that, once upon a time, I did know how to talk properly, and finally managed to ask her if she wanted to go for some barbecue and a movie. She said, ‘See, that wasn’t so hard. Yes.’ We started going out, and that was when I lost my job.” “Why?” “Ownership’s granddaughter.” “Oh shit.” Caleb’s jaw dropped. “You didn’t know?” “No. That place wasn’t like how you and your brothers run Hawkins Ranch, where you have an almost open-door policy and everyone feels like they know everyone else, and cares about them too.” A place where every consecutive day I live and work here, it cocoons me in a deep, contented feeling of home. “I left the property, but I took Krista with me. She came willingly and told me she would have followed even if I’d been too stubborn and noble to ask. I wasn’t anything with Krista except flat-out, no-holds-barred in love.” “I can see why.” Caleb kept his attention fully on the photograph, as if he really did believe that he could come to know her if he stared hard enough. “She’s lush and beautiful. And with the way you say that Risa reminds you of her, I know that means she was a pistol and a hell of woman. I wish you still had her here with you. I would have liked to have seen what you look like without sadness in your eyes.” Jake swallowed thickly through the lump blocking his throat. “You take it away sometimes.” Caleb’s gaze jerked up from the photo to land on Jake, his eyes full of what looked like hope…and maybe fear of it. “It’s true.” Jake nodded. He had a desperate need for this man to understand him, and that gut reaction pushed him forward. “Every time it happens it terrifies me because it feels like I’m letting her slip away, forgetting her and the impact she had on my life. I don’t ever want to do that. Krista deserves better than me looking at a picture of her every once in a while that brings up a fond memory. I fight every day, not against you, but to rise above what you make me feel. There’s only so much room inside me, and every time I let a little piece of you in, I have to edge a piece of her out. I’m afraid if any bigger piece of you finds its way in, I won’t be able to feel Krista in my heart anymore at all. God.” Jake shuddered through the torrential

onslaught of his memories. “I don’t want to forget her. I won’t let myself do it. That’s why I have to keep some distance between us.” Caleb withdrew his gaze from Jake and turned it down to the floor. He picked at a crack in his boot, and Jake could see where he gnawed on the very corner of his lip, likely hard enough to draw a drop of blood. “What?” Frissons of ice raced down Jake’s spine, followed by roaring heat. “I can tell you think I’m wrong, Caleb.” Jake shot off the bed and stalked the room, all the while trying to shake off the tingling that sizzled all along his nerve endings. “Just say what you want to say.” Coming to a stop in front of the window, Jake braced his hand on the frame and stared out into the darkness, where a light above the doors to the horse barn created shadows across the land. “You think I’m wrong to hold a dead woman so tightly to my heart, don’t you? Say it. I can take it.” The steady sound of boots on hardwood flooring reached Jake’s ears, and seconds later, Caleb slid in behind and wrapped his arms around Jake’s waist. Jake tensed, but Caleb fought the resistance and won. Heat and solid presence filled Jake to the brim, and eventually forced out an exhausted, shaky sigh. Giving in, Jake leaned back into the comfort Caleb offered, caving to what he so desperately wanted. Closeness with this man. “Go ahead and tell me,” Jake whispered again, his heart racing. Whether that speeding sensation occurred out of fear of losing more of Krista, or feeling Caleb at his back, Jake could no longer tell. “I want to hear what you have to say.” Caleb nuzzled his face against Jake’s nape, pulling forth a shiver from deep inside Jake’s guarded soul. He felt the press of the man’s cheek against his shoulder blade, and when Caleb finally spoke, the low timbre of his voice worked its way through Jake’s very being. “Have you ever thought that maybe if you talk to other people about Krista, then they can help you keep her alive too?” Talk about Krista? “How?” With people who never even met her? “None of you know her.”

“That’s kind of my point, honey.” Caleb squeezed Jake around the middle and bussed a kiss against the side of his neck. “If you opened up about Krista when a memory of her hits you, we could get to know her too.” Just thinking about sharing his wife layered a fine sheen of perspiration all over Jake’s body under his clothes. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable doing that.” Caleb sighed, and squeezed Jake’s waist. “I’m not saying go around telling everyone the story of how you met or the tragic way she passed, but rather little things that must wash over you a dozen times a day when you’re working. Maybe we have a horse in the barn that looks like the one she used to ride. If there is, and it strikes you, say so to the person standing there with you. If they ask a question about her in response, answer it. Leave her picture up in the office down in the horse barn so that the guys can ask about her too. Put her spirit in every corner of this house and this property and let other people help you keep her alive.” “I don’t know.” Panic raged inside Jake, making him light-headed and unsteady on his feet. The thought of putting Krista out there on view terrified him to his core. What if he couldn’t protect her? With gentle force, Caleb turned Jake around until they faced each other. He took Jake’s hands in his and brought them to his lips, brushing achingly tender kisses along Jake’s scuffed knuckles and then tucking them against his chest. “I think part of why you’re terrified Krista will slip away is because you’re the only one carrying the burden of remembering and honoring her. But what happens if something tragic happens to you, Jake? What will happen to your wife if you’re holding her so tightly in your fists that you never open them so other people can see what you hold? If you pass, who would keep her spirit alive then?” “I never thought of it that --” Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Jake jumped a foot in the air as his watch sounded, killing the intimacy of the moment. He quickly pressed the appropriate button and put a stop to the noise. “God, that scared the shit out of me. That means dinner is ready. I put a couple of pizzas in the oven when I got home.”

“Let’s keep this conversation going while we eat.” Flashing a truly wicked grin that shot lines of arousal straight down to Jake’s cock, Caleb grabbed Jake’s hand and pulled him toward the stairs. “Because you know I want to hear all about the sex. I bet it was smokin’ hot.” Jake gripped Caleb’s hand even tighter, and strangely, he fought the urge to laugh, not hide. Then his gaze passed over the disarray of the upstairs landing, and finally landed on Caleb. He tugged, halting Caleb two stairs into their descent. “Only if you promise to tell me what really happened to create this mess.” Caleb scanned the length of the upstairs -- at least what he could likely see from where he stood. His jaw clenched and ticked a few times, and his hand tightened reflexively around Jake’s before making eye contact again. Caleb’s cheeks deepened to decidedly pink. “Fine. We have a deal.” Jake followed, a stirring rolling through him as he moved, a tender string of anticipation for his future. For the first time in years, something softer replaced the familiar heavy ropes of solitude that, up until knowing Caleb, constantly left Jake tied up in knots. ***** Body after body after body filled Caleb’s vision, all shapes and sizes of women, all of them young and innocent, eager to please a smoothtalking, handsome young man. Caleb rolled with them in a massive bed, caressing hips and suckling breasts, ample and petite, something in every size to accommodate a myriad of tastes. Caleb liked them all. Some women exhibited shyness, but Caleb knew how to kiss and touch, how to lick and finger all the right places to bring them to a scream. All bodies faded away until only the one he played with remained. Rubbing his cock along a soft thigh, Caleb slid his finger into her damp heat, keeping the thrust shallow, not wanting to frighten -- and knowing he could not leave a mark of entry.

“Mmm” -- his latest spread her legs wider -- “that feels so wicked, Caleb.” She rolled her hips against his embedded finger and rubbed her sweet little clit against his thumb. “Tell me it will always be like this.” “It will, love. I promise it will.” He spoke the lie so often that it left his lips without even a trip. Suckling on her breast, until the nipple pointed so hard he knew it must ache, Caleb let it slip from his mouth and licked a hot trail down her unnaturally golden skin, straight to the raven’s hair covering her secrets. “Prepare yourself, my darling” -- he glanced up from between her thighs, satisfaction rolling through him at the glazed look in her even rarer violet eyes -- “for this is where it gets very, very good.” Giving her no time to regain her nervousness, he sucked her engorged nubbin into his mouth and flicked the tip. “Oh my goodness!” She jerked up into his face, tears filling her eyes as her sex immediately contracted around his finger with hard pulls, giving Caleb the orgasm that would make her his. The girl had certainly never had one before, and didn’t understand Caleb’s intimate touches didn’t come with love. She’d already proclaimed her love for him more than once, and with his touches and heated stares, she fully believed he reciprocated the emotion. Just as he’d so carefully planned. Caleb stayed with the girl while she rode the wave, grinding his cock into the falsely innocent eyelet lace coverlet beneath him. Still too new to these yearnings he awakened within her, Daphne hadn’t yet become comfortable enough with his sexual play for her to open her mouth and accept his cock. Damn, but she had pretty lips, though. Caleb couldn’t wait to take that virgin mouth with his dick. Eventually, the shaking in her thighs subsided. Caleb climbed up her body and rewarded her with a kiss. She may not take his prick yet, but she knew to open up for his tongue. He tangled with her, loving the enthusiasm in her newly tutored responses, accepting that she muddied his thoughts more than any other woman he’d initiated thus far. Something about this young woman’s eyes tugged him in and made him wonder if everything he said to her was just an act. He

certainly seemed to crave her more than any other he’d played with thus far. Moaning, Caleb tangled his hands in her hair, but froze with his lips against hers as his fingers trailed into something thick and slimy. “What?” He pulled back, his heart slamming to a stop at the horror before him. Lifeless, glassy eyes stared up at him, and a pool of crimson marred the perfection of the white linen pillowcase, creeping out from beneath Daphne’s damaged skull. Falling backward, Caleb couldn’t get away fast enough, but at the same time, he couldn’t hide from the dark red smears of blood that covered his hands. “You did this to her, Caleb.” A damning voice reached his ears. “No!” Spinning, Caleb’s legs fell out from under him as dozens of women surrounded him, each damning him with her chant. “You did this,” and, “You are responsible,” and, “You should be the one broken in the alley,” attacked his ears and judged his soul. “No! No!” Caleb covered his ears, rocking on the floor as the horde of women moved closer with every accusation. “I didn’t mean to. I swear!” Hands touched over his body everywhere, gripping wherever they could, careless of the viciousness with which they clutched. Caleb thrashed and struggled, but could not overpower the strength of so many bodies, even ones much smaller than his. “What are you doing? What are you doing?” His head lolling back, the open window got closer and closer with each of the women’s steps. Daphne suddenly loomed over him, her head broken and her body mangled. “Teaching you a lesson,” she answered. Her voice sounded soft and innocent, the way he remembered it before her death. Her eyes, however, were cold chips of royal amethyst he had never seen in her before. “Just as you did to all of us.” As a group, the women hoisted Caleb through the open window, hurling him to his death in a way he knew he deserved to go. Screaming, Caleb could do nothing as the garbage, feces, and pisscovered alley flew toward his face.

Upon impact with the unforgiving ground, Caleb jerked upright, shouting, “Nooo!” into the night. “Caleb?” A strong arm circled Caleb’s waist and drew him into a tight embrace. Back in his bedroom, not in London, not in the worst of his nightmares, but in bed at Jake’s side. “Tell me,” Jake said. He kissed Caleb’s shoulder and rested his cheek against Caleb’s arm. Surely Jake could still feel the shaking that had hold of Caleb’s body, but Caleb could do nothing to calm the tremors. “Tell me about your dream.” No, no, no. Caleb had just gotten Jake. Sort of. He couldn’t bear to lose the man now. “Later.” Caleb rolled Jake down onto his back and crawled on top. Seeing the determination in Jake’s eyes, and knowing how much Jake had given of his personal life to Caleb last night, Caleb could do only one thing. “Let me make love to you, Jake.” Caleb scraped an almost desperate kiss against Jake’s lips. “I want inside your ass. Right now. Please.” Chapter Twenty

Fear of the unknown assaulted Jake, coursing through the length of his body with white-hot, lightning speed. Let me make love to you echoed in the room, the raw neediness in Caleb’s tone grabbing Jake just as tightly as his own fear. Jake knew Caleb would ask for this one day. Until this second, he didn’t know what his answer would be. Looking up into Caleb’s face, seeing real uncertainty shining in his eyes, Jake could only give one answer. Only wanted to give one answer. “Yes.” Jake touched the tips of his fingers over Caleb’s strong cheekbones, drawing a tremble out of the man that for some reason

tugged sadness from Jake’s heart. Pulling Caleb’s face down to his, he pressed a kiss to his forehead, nose, and mouth. “Yes.” All of the tension holding Caleb’s body rigid released, and he melted into Jake, stealing a deeper, longer kiss. Jake tasted hopelessness and anguish in Caleb’s touch, a frantic bent that he remembered in himself the first time he and Caleb came together. This wonder of a man possessed demons that went well beyond the one that existed inside him physically, and one day, Jake would get to them just the way Caleb had gotten to him. He would do that later. Right now, Jake knew Caleb needed the release that only taking another person could bring. Jake tore his mouth away from Caleb’s but held Caleb close so that he couldn’t hide. “Tell me what to do.” He dug his hands inside the back of Caleb’s sweats and squeezed, loving the feel of Caleb’s smooth, firm flesh under his palms. “Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.” Bracing himself on his hands, Caleb circled his hips against Jake’s groin, rubbing his length into the groove of Jake’s inner thigh. “I’m so hard.” His gaze came up from between their bodies, lingering on Jake’s mouth before moving to his eyes. “I need to shoot one off, or I won’t be able to go slow. If you could jerk me off…” One advantage to being with another man, Jake knew what Caleb really wanted. After only one time, Jake couldn’t understand it, but he salivated for the taste of Caleb again already. “Or you could climb up here and push into my mouth.” Caleb reared back, but Jake reacted quickly and grabbed him before he got more than a few inches away. He caressed Caleb’s cheek, his heart falling into his stomach when Caleb nuzzled into the touch. “It’s okay,” Jake promised. “I want it again. I liked how it felt, and watching your reaction to it. Come on.” Wrapping his hands around the backs of Caleb’s thighs, Jake pulled the man up until he straddled Jake’s face, his hands braced on the headboard. The wildness of virile male scents teased Jake through a layer of fabric, stirring his cock and titillating his taste buds for what would come next. So new to every aspect of this unique friendship,

and Jake already dreamed and craved things he had never even conceived of before. Things like eating hard, hot cock. Specifically, Caleb’s cock. “Take it out and give it to me.” Still flat on his back, Jake strained up and licked the length of Caleb’s prick through his sweats. “I’m hungry for it.” “Jesus, baby, you make me feel like I’ve never had a blowjob before.” Keeping one hand on the headboard to hold himself steady, Caleb reached into his loose-fitting sweats and unearthed his penis, the rounded head already smeared with precum. He let his legs slide open even wider on either side of Jake’s shoulders, each inch of movement bringing his erection closer to Jake’s mouth. Jake opened up wide, ready to accept, and Caleb pushed his burning hard length inside Jake’s waiting mouth. “Ohhh, yeah.” Caleb rocked his hips against Jake’s face, forcing more of his thick dick over Jake’s lips and tongue, filling Jake with his hot male member, using this opening as a new place to fuck. That base thought raced through Jake’s insides like alcohol, heating his blood and flesh. Jake’s own dick stirred between his legs, growing ever firmer with every pump of Caleb’s penis in his mouth. Jake looked up and found the top of Caleb’s head planted against the headboard, his eyes glued to his cock as it moved through the O of Jake’s lips with every small pump of his hips. Knowing how unbearably exciting an image that was when he watched Caleb do him, Jake tightened the suction around the velvet-smooth piece of meat invading his mouth, making the pull out an amazingly tight drag over Caleb’s cock. Feeling just the head on the inside of his lips, Jake flicked the tip of his tongue along Caleb’s leaking slit. Caleb’s powerful, burnt flavor burst on Jake’s taste buds, and the viscous texture of precum rolled around in his mouth. Caleb hissed and shoved back in, taking Jake nearly to the throat. “Damn it, you’re good at this.” Jake struggled to relax and take more, wanting to give Caleb the mind-blowing sensation of his penis moving deeper inside, past the point of swallowing. Jake couldn’t make it happen, though. Panic set in and had him scrambling to grab

Caleb’s hips and push him back before he gagged. He moved in quickly and wrapped his hand around the base of Caleb’s erection instead, doing a rotating motion with his fist while sucking hard on the top end, tickling the sensitive patch under the head with the flat of his tongue. “Oh…oh shit.” Caleb dug a hand into Jake’s hair and pulled, stinging the hell out of Jake’s scalp. “Pull off right now unless you want me to come down your throat.” Jake clamped his hand around Caleb’s thigh to hold him in, and ate as much of Caleb as he could. At the exact same time, he added a powerful suction around the organ invading his mouth. Caleb smashed down on Jake’s face and pushed a moan out through gritted teeth, his face contorting and his muscles tensing, clearly nearing orgasm. He went absolutely still. Then, his nestled cock rippled against Jake’s cheeks and tongue, followed by a cry of release. Hot, bitter ejaculate pumped out of Caleb in an instant, shocking Jake with the amount that saturated his mouth and coated his tongue, feeling like so much more volume than the sprays that hit his face the other night. Jake swallowed on automatic and tried to suck out some more of Caleb’s cum, suddenly desperate for any piece of Caleb he could get, no matter his fears or a latent sense of taboo. Even to the point of wanting to know what it would feel like to have Caleb’s cock in his untried ass. Jake let Caleb’s penis slide from between his lips, frantically pushing and pulling at the man until he lay sprawled on top of Jake’s chest. He yanked Caleb’s face down to his, putting them so close all of Caleb’s features became a blur. “How long before you can take me?” Snagging his sweats and Caleb’s at the same time, Jake wiggled under Caleb’s weight, squirming to get them both to their feet and kicked off. “How long before you get hard again?” “Not long.” Both of them now nude from head to toe, Caleb rubbed his body all along the length of Jake’s, searing skin and sending nerve endings to popping and exploding all over Jake’s flesh, turning him on even more. “Fuck, Jake, I never thought I’d hear you begging for me like this.”

“Me either.” Jake touched down Caleb’s spine, and drew a shiver in response. Once he got the feel of hard, hot flesh beneath his palms, he started running his hands all over Caleb from shoulder, to chest, to stomach, to hips, unable to stop. Leaning up to steal a kiss, he added, “Didn’t know how badly I wanted it until you asked.” Caleb separated just enough to grab a tube of lube. “Let me get you ready.” Fast returning nervousness invaded Jake, sending a chill through him that created a map of goose bumps all along his legs and arms. God, he wanted to experience Caleb’s full passion in this way, but he had never even had a finger inside him before, let alone something substantially thicker and longer. His sphincter tightened and sucked in, shrinking back in shyness…and total fear. Caleb came back to Jake, already squeezing a squirt of lube on his fingers. He paused between Jake’s legs without touching. His gaze traveled up to Jake’s, trapping Jake in his snare. Caleb’s eyes glowed the purest shade of blue, causing a flutter in Jake’s belly that had nothing to do with fright. “You okay?” Caleb dipped down and pressed a chaste kiss to Jake’s inner thigh. “We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.” Rubbing at the visible goose pimples along Jake’s leg, Caleb soothed much of Jake’s trepidation with that one small touch. “I can wait as long as you need.” Goddamnit, the man knew how to melt Jake into a puddle without even trying. “I don’t want to wait.” He straightened his left leg and braced it against Caleb’s chest and shoulder, then guided Caleb’s hand between his legs to his crease. “I need to know what this half of what we do together feels like too.” Pushing Caleb’s fingers against his hole, Jake gasped at the first shock of connection. “I’ve started to have dreams of you taking me, just as much as the other way around. Fuck me, Caleb.” Jake’s rectum pulsed against Caleb’s fingers, just with the words. “I think I’m starting to ache for it.” “Jesus, Jake.” Caleb took his fingers away for a moment, but only long enough to hoist Jake’s hips and buttocks into the air. “Slide the pillows under your hips for me, baby. We’re gonna need them.”

Jake did. Piling three of the four, he ending up raising his lower half so high Jake thought he looked like a sexual sacrificial offering. The repositioning lined Caleb’s cock straight to Jake’s ass. Caleb didn’t go straight for the kill, though. Once again, he pushed his lubed fingers through Jake’s crack, stopping when he reached Jake’s entrance. Caleb never broke their stare as he began to apply a soft but persistent pressure to Jake’s opening. The touch hummed through Jake, creating frissons of new awareness all through his middle and up into his spine. “You sure?” Caleb asked, one more time. Brightness shone in his unfiltered gaze, snagging Jake into its complicated, sticky web. One from which, in his gut, Jake no longer wanted to break free. Nodding, Jake bore down on the tender assault, holding his breath as he rocked one, two, three times against Caleb’s fingertip. On the fourth try, Caleb broke through and took Jake’s ass past the first ring of resistance, flaming Jake’s anus to roaring life. Jake’s rectal muscles automatically contracted around the small invasion, pulling even more of Caleb’s digit inside. Grunting his way through the first shock of discomfort, Jake clenched his hands into fists and counted to ten, breathing steadily until the initial wave of pain subsided. Then, before Jake completely adjusted, Caleb crooked his finger within Jake’s channel and rubbed. Jake jerked off the bed, and almost flew right out of Caleb’s tenuous hold. “Ohhh, yes.” He grabbed his own ass cheeks and spread himself wide open, just because he couldn’t help it. “My good God.” Intense lines of pleasure radiated from Jake’s ass to every corner of his body, overriding the burn of stretching that still remained. His toes curled into the bedding, and his head rolled back until his crown dug into the pillow, pointing his Adam’s apple straight at the ceiling. His cock reached for his belly button, already eager to drop a load. “No wonder you beg for this.” Reaching down, Jake grabbed onto Caleb’s wrist and held his finger inside, as his channel pulsed in crazy, out-of-control contractions. Caleb didn’t let up the touch over Jake’s prostate for one second, and in response, Jake couldn’t remain still. He fought the clawing need to rip his way out of his own skin. “You never told me it felt like this.” Caleb smiled, and grabbed right hold of Jake’s heart. “You wouldn’t have believed me. Now, take a breath and prepare yourself for more.”

Caleb waited for only a moment, and then, pulling at Jake’s ring unbearably, pushed a second finger into his rectum, bringing the pain back in full force. “Ahhh…please, please” -- Jake squeezed Caleb’s wrist with every pound of pressure in him -- “don’t move. I need a minute before I can take more.” Wheezing through his body’s natural instinct to push Caleb out, Jake inhaled slow, steady breaths and focused on relaxing the tension in him that clamped down on Caleb’s embedded fingers. Caleb looked as though he held himself just as tightly as Jake did. He took his focus off his buried fingers and lifted it to Jake. “Maybe you’re not ready for my cock after all.” He tried to pull out, but Jake held tight to Caleb’s arm and wouldn’t let him leave. “No.” Jake put a bruising hold on Caleb’s wrist, backing up the bullet delivery in his one-word denial. Tilting his hips down, he forced Caleb’s fingers to slide along his quivering walls and made himself adjust to the thicker penetration. “Don’t give up on me. I want you more than I can say.” “I don’t want to hurt you.” Familiar words. “I know.” Jake tore his gaze off Caleb’s too bright eyes, and put it down to the man’s straining cock, hard again already and eager to fuck Jake in the way Jake had taken him so many times. Jake’s own prick stirred in answer, desire rapidly rebuilding, reminding Jake about what he actually wanted. He lifted his attention back to Caleb’s face. “It’ll be better when it’s your cock. I don’t want your fingers, Caleb.” Pushing Caleb’s wrist away, Jake knocked Caleb’s fingers out of his ass, and the man back on his rear into a sitting position. Tossing the pillows aside, Jake climbed on and straddled Caleb’s waist, holding the piercing intensity of his gaze. Jake leaned in for a kiss and whispered roughly, “I want you.” Caleb locked his eyes on Jake’s. Holding him prisoner there, Caleb reached between their bodies and fitted the head of his cock between Jake’s cheeks, adjusting until his tip grazed Jake’s bud, causing them both to draw in a fast breath. “I love you.” Caleb’s confession sounded stripped bare, as if ripped up from the very depths of his soul. “I know I promised I wouldn’t say it anymore --”

“Shh.” Jake covered Caleb’s lips with his hand, shutting down his shame. “It’s okay.” He pushed down on Caleb’s cock without hesitation, only caring about the pain he witnessed in Caleb’s eyes. “I was wrong before. Say whatever you --” Caleb breached Jake’s ass right then, moaning low as he filled Jake’s body with his hard length, the thickness of which widened Jake’s channel unbearably. “Ohhh, goddamnit.” “So fucking hot, baby.” Caleb knifed up, penetrating Jake to the brim, making Jake grunt as he struggled to take it all. “And snug.” Caleb gritted his teeth, and his eyes glowed unfathomably bright. Caleb looked so damn intense and full of bliss that it tore through Jake’s fears, and helped to relax the spasms in his rectum enough to feel the beginnings of pleasure. Jake wanted this for Caleb and wouldn’t let a bit of his own discomfort ruin it. Jake wrapped his arms around Caleb’s back and bore down on the cock invading his ass. “Oh, good God, fucking hell…” Jake wheezed through the first stage of this new kind of fucking, aching to get to the pleasure. For Caleb. “You feel incredible inside me.” He pounded his fist against Caleb’s shoulder, his entrance on fire as it pulled to accommodate Caleb’s penis. At the same time, his chute suddenly fluttered with a strangely arousing confusion. “Ahh. Jesus, hell.” Jake didn’t know if it hurt because it felt so damn bad, or because it felt so damn good. “It is so bizarrely wicked,” he confessed. Holding onto Caleb’s sculpted shoulders, Jake rocked his hips, hissing at the friction that wreaked havoc inside his ass. Unable to hold back, he moaned and did it again. “I don’t know what to do.” “Fucking keep doing that” -- Caleb slid his hands down and cupped Jake’s buttocks, helping him move -- “and you’re gonna make me very, very happy. Christ, Jake.” Closing the small distance between them, Caleb nipped a biting hard kiss on Jake’s lips, startling Jake with its intensity. He kept up the dragging motion between cock and ass, sending Jake’s entire being into a slow-burning frenzy. “Everything about you excites the hell out of me.” Jake stared into cobalt-colored eyes burning bright with emotions that Jake knew it embarrassed Caleb to speak. Knowing he played a part in that shame wrenched a need to heal straight out from the deepest

recesses of Jake’s soul. “You do the same thing to me.” He dragged one of Caleb’s hands around to his front and shoved it down over his rock-hard cock. Entwining his fingers over the backs of Caleb’s, he made them grip his cock and start to stoke. “Yeah, just like that.” Caleb squeezed hard on Jake’s dick and pulled. Pair that with Caleb still rocking within the glove of Jake’s scorching tunnel, and Jake began to lose his mind. “First time inside me, and look what you do to me.” Caleb’s forehead came to rest against Jake’s cheek, and his eyes slid closed. “It’s so good.” He dragged his fist up and down the length of Jake’s penis and pierced Jake’s ass with relentless jabs. With Jake’s building need, he ground himself up and down on Caleb’s impaling erection all on his own, desperate to feel every inch of Caleb touching him; he didn’t care where or how. Jake ached for one more thing to touch him, something that right now Caleb tried to hide. Pressing his lips to Caleb’s, with thickness evident in his voice, Jake said, “Look at me, Caleb. Please.” He buried his hand in Caleb’s silky hair and forced his face up. “Open your eyes and look at me.” Caleb shuddered against Jake. “Can’t.” He shook his head, trying to break from Jake’s hold. “Why?” “I’ll say it again.” Caleb shook his head with adamant force. “Don’t want to hear it. Don’t want to feel it.” “Tell me.” His chest constricting hard enough to cut off his breathing, Jake pressed tender kisses against Caleb’s eyelids, everything in him swelling to the point of bursting. One more time, he whispered, “Say it. Please.” Blue eyes glistening with moisture revealed themselves and locked right onto Jake’s heart. “Love you.” Caleb fused his mouth to Jake’s, clinging to the small touch. “Love you so damn much.” In that exact split moment in time, Jake cried out as orgasm raced through his belly and spine, overtaking him. Caleb’s gasp merged

with Jake’s cry. He pumped up, invading Jake to the hilt one last time before spilling and flooding Jake’s clenching channel with the hot wetness of cum. Between them, Jake spurted on Caleb, splattering an abstract painting of ejaculate, the hard surface of Caleb’s stomach serving as his canvas. It seemed like forever, but Jake’s now-sore rectum eventually stopped squeezing and milking Caleb’s penis, and settled. The men broke the connection of their lips, but it felt reluctant, as if both would have been happy to sit there in each other’s clutches for the rest of the day. For the moment, Jake at least, didn’t intend to go anywhere. He ran his thumb over Caleb’s passion-swollen lips, his heart skittering when Caleb pressed an answering kiss to the rough pad. “So” -- Jake stayed with Caleb’s gaze, not letting it hide -- “You ready to tell me what was so bad about that dream of yours that you tried to distract me from it with sex?” Caleb paled and gulped. Chapter Twenty-One

Caleb froze like a deer caught in headlights. Only for him, Jake’s gaze served as the blinding source of light. I can’t tell him, I can’t tell him, I can’t tell him. Pictures of Daphne, and how she died, why she died, flew at Caleb, making him reel with it. The sickening way he’d manipulated her and used her feelings for him; the way he let everything happen anyway, even though she nipped at a place inside him that should have made it impossible to let her go… Nausea churned in his gut. “Come on, Caleb.” Jake drew off Caleb’s lap slowly, wincing only a little bit at the withdrawal. “You can’t really think sex would erase my memory. We’re explosive together, but I’m also not eighteen. I’m not so easily blinded by the fun I can have with my dick the way I would have been twenty years ago.”

Caleb threw himself down onto his back, shooting for nonchalant while his mind raced with what he could say. “I guess I’m not as good at fucking as I thought I was. Maybe I need a little practice.” He grabbed Jake’s foot and tickled his toes. “Care to volunteer your ass for a few more sessions?” Jake tugged his foot out of Caleb’s reach. “Don’t make jokes.” Doing a few quick moves of his own, Jake pulled Caleb upright and turned him, not stopping until he had Caleb tucked against his chest and wrapped up in his embrace. He rested his chin on top of Caleb’s head, and tangled their hands together against Caleb’s stomach. “You were in a really bad place when you woke up a little bit ago, and it’s not the first time I’ve felt you thrash around in the throes of a nightmare.” Jake pressed a kiss against Caleb’s mess of hair. That gesture, more than the amazing sex of a few minutes ago, almost undid Caleb. “What haunts you, honey? Talk to me.” Surrounded by the furnace of Jake’s body heat, Caleb didn’t think he had ever experienced such a sense of safety in his life. At the same time, if he told Jake everything, he would lose Jake, not only as a lover, but also as a foreman and friend. Nothing terrified Caleb more than that. Going back to being alone, after finally experiencing this level of closeness to another soul… Caleb shuddered in Jake’s arms. “You’re thinking about it right now; I can feel it.” Breaking one of his hands free, Jake skated his palm up Caleb’s middle and covered the pounding going on in Caleb’s heart. “You know so much about me by now. I don’t feel like I know anything about you that doesn’t have to do with this ranch, your family, or the rodeo stock. Talk to me.” Caleb chuckled, the sensation scratching like gravel in his throat. “I tell you and show you that I’m a demon, and you say you don’t know anything about me.” Jake’s hand went up farther and tangled in Caleb’s hair, pulling his head back until their gazes collided. Fire burned in Jake’s eyes, as well as a stubbornness that, since their intimacy, Caleb had noted in this man too. “I have a feeling the demon is the least important part of what makes you tick, Caleb Hawkins. What do you think about that?”

Everything in Caleb seized to a halt and then raced back to life with searing hot pain. Jake held him prisoner, in every way, shape, and form. Caleb had no power to break away. “I think you just proved you know me better than anyone else on this earth.” He drew up and captured Jake’s mouth in a kiss, aching for the connection they shared. Slipping just the tip of his tongue through the seam of Jake’s lips, he tasted the warmth within and let it sink into his bones. He turned in Jake’s arms, moaning as he went in for a deeper lick, needing these pieces of Jake that acted as a balm on his scarred soul. Jake opened up and let Caleb in, allowing Caleb to steal a piece of the purity within him, even if he didn’t know it. A sense of panic overtook Caleb, and he grabbed Jake’s head, clutching him in a bruising hold while he plundered for more of that cleanliness, for something that would rub off on him if he just touched it enough. “No.” Jake tore his mouth away. In a reversal of their holds, he put his hands on either side of Caleb’s head and wouldn’t let him look away. “Don’t use what we can do to each other with one kiss as a place to hide.” The intensity in Jake’s eyes bore a hole right through Caleb, penetrating into his soul. “Tell me what keeps you from sleep at night.” Caleb couldn’t swallow down one of his secrets. Terrified to his core, the confession slipped free. “I used to be a whore.” “What?” Jake reared back, his green eyes rounding big and wide. His fingers contracted on Caleb’s face, digging into his cheeks. “You mean, like a prostitute? How? I don’t understand.” Caleb’s heart raced so fast he thought he might throw up. “I mean just what I said.” Oh, God, please let this revelation be horrific enough to satisfy Jake’s curiosity about me. Little would Jake know that this was the least of Caleb’s offenses in his life before Connor found him and saved his sorry life. “A long time ago, when I was in a bad place” -after I killed someone and couldn’t look at myself anymore -- “for a period of about two years, before I met Connor and we moved to Scotland to start a new life, I traded sex with wealthy or titled women in exchange for a set of rooms, clothes, money, entry into places of relative respectability…you name it. I didn’t have anything to offer

except good looks, exceptional language skills, and an ingrained ability to con, something instilled in me from birth. Oh” -- hardness entered Caleb’s voice, tightened his muscles -- “and by that time an ability to fuck like you would not believe. So there.” He ripped himself out of Jake’s hold and rolled away. “Now you know why I have nightmares.” “Hey!” Jake launched himself at Caleb before he made it off the bed. “Don’t hide yourself from me.” He wrestled Caleb under him and overpowered him again, demanding a connection in his brilliant eyes that gutted Caleb right up the middle. “Nobody sells themselves because they want to.” Jake lifted his thumb and wiped the edge of Caleb’s eye, removing a line of moisture Caleb hadn’t even realized was there. “How did you end up in this place where you did this thing? Wherever it was.” “England,” Caleb answered. Jesus Christ, his heart pained him so badly. He ached to tell Jake everything and still see acceptance in his beautiful eyes. “London, specifically, for the most part. Before London, I was mostly in Germany, Italy, and France with my family, working the business.” “What kind of business did your family run?” “A grifting one.” Furrow lines appeared between Jake’s eyes. “You mean, as in grifters? Like travelers? Con men?” “You got it.” Caleb flashed a tight smile. “It just gets more and more appealing, doesn’t it? Bet you’re really glad you bent me over and fucked me that first time now, aren’t you?” Fire darkened Jake’s eyes to the colors of Montana’s greenest valleys. “Don’t put yourself down like that. None of us are without faults and mistakes in our lives. No one has the right to judge you for yours.” You wouldn’t be able to help it if you knew it all. “You’ve got that lost look again.” Jake tunneled his fingers through Caleb’s hair and took a fist of it in his hand. Bending down, he

pressed a lingering kiss to Caleb’s forehead, his lips almost feeling as if they held love. Caleb started to shake. “Please, baby. You don’t have to be afraid. Finish it and get it off your chest.” Caleb couldn’t give everything. He didn’t think he could make his mouth speak the words. He had never even told Connor or Cain that part. About Daphne. And his despicable choices that led up to her. Struggling to regain a semblance of privacy, Caleb fought to roll to his side. This time, Jake let him go. Caleb reached back and drew Jake’s arm around his waist though, needing the heat of the man’s formidable presence at his back, even if he couldn’t look in his eyes right now. “Cons are bound to go bad eventually, and for my family, one went south in a pretty bad way when I was seventeen. Rather than sacrifice the entire clan, they threw someone to the wolves to satisfy the victims’ need for vengeance while they ran to live another day. This particular time, they tossed me.” “Just like that? Your parents didn’t object?” Caleb chuckled, the sound hollow to his ears. “They were the head of the family. They decided on me.” “Animals.” Jake squeezed Caleb tight around the middle, and rubbed his lips against the back of Caleb’s neck, stirring the hairs there. “If they were still alive, I’d hunt them down and avenge you.” Caleb rumbled with real warmth this time, the laugh spreading through him all the way to his toes. Damn it, Jake kept finding ways to steal into Caleb’s already-captured heart. “They probably are alive somewhere, but I wouldn’t want you away from me for as long as it would take to track them down. They aren’t worth it.” “But you are.” Caleb blinked repeatedly, fighting the pressure behind his eyes. “Thank you.” “It’s just the truth.” Jake snuggled in closer from behind, and Caleb basked in his warm glow. “Now tell me how you managed to get from being a sacrificial lamb to living as you did in London.”

No, you don’t get to know about those first two years in the brothel that came before the whoring. “Let’s just say that sex is a very good tool for getting what you want. Especially when you’re a goodlooking young man who knows enough about life to see when a woman isn’t getting her bells chimed by her man. Like I told you, sex was one of the things I knew how to sell. I sold it to a woman charged with feeding me the night they held me for the hanging. I did it well enough to convince her to set me free.” “How did you get away with that?” Heat flamed Caleb’s entire face and body. “She was old enough that nobody considered her a threat. I saw a means to freedom, and used it. I’m not proud, but there it is.” “And that made you think you could successfully sell your body to eager, older women for a living?” That became the only thing that didn’t require me to think or feel anything after Daphne. “I did some other work first.” If Caleb kept this part vague, he could get through this. “Things got tough after awhile, and when this opportunity to become a kept man presented itself, I took it. It was only supposed to be one woman, just long enough to earn a decent place to live and recover from some rough stuff in my life. But she packed me up and took me to a country party, and from there she shared me with a few of her closest friends.” “Oh, Caleb.” At his back, Caleb could feel the shudder roll through Jake. “I’m so damn sorry.” “It really didn’t bother me that much.” Nothing shocked or bothered me by that point. “What twenty-year-old kid doesn’t want to stick his dick in as many pussies as he can? I didn’t care that they were older than I was, or that they didn’t love me and I didn’t love them. We had vanilla-flavored fun that to them was the height of decadence. Lots of foreplay that they couldn’t get from their husbands. I had a setup that could have lasted me a long time, but I got above my place and seduced the daughter of one the women who took care of me. I stupidly thought I cared about her and challenged the woman’s anger and jealousy, saying that we were in love and would marry.” He hadn’t just been giving lip service to the declaration either. He really

had opened his soul -- well, most of it anyway -- to Miranda , that shy young noblewoman’s daughter. He thought for sure she felt the same, and that she would run away with him if her parents denied their love. Caleb snorted. Yeah, right. Her parents formed an alliance with another family rather quickly, and Miranda didn’t argue for Caleb’s suit at all. “Anyway” -- he pulled himself out of the past, one that still beat a surprisingly hard drum in his chest -- “that got me severely beaten and thrown out of her good graces, and quickly blacklisted right out of the bedrooms of the other women.” The humiliation of Miranda’s rejection had been Caleb’s first sign that fate did not intend for him to have a happy ending. Drowning in his own disgust, Caleb hadn’t paid attention. “A married woman may like her fun, but she’s not going to let a wolf in with her innocent, marriageable daughter.” “Is that when Connor found you? After that beating?” “No.” Caleb’s heart settled, and he started to breathe easier. A sense of calm washed over him now that Jake’s interest had moved past that dicey patch of his life. Caleb even shifted until he lay on his back, and made eye contact with Jake once again. “I got really reckless after that, though, and looked for ways to get in trouble, things that would push how much I could survive. I was in a tavern one night, unsuccessfully trying my best to get drunk, when I just decided the hell with it, and I let the demon out.” Jake gasped. “Caleb.” He grabbed at Caleb’s chest, clutching his fingers into Caleb’s pectoral muscles, deeply enough to leave red marks. “You must have terrified those people. They could have killed you. I’m surprised they didn’t.” “They tried. Thought they succeeded too. I wanted it, so didn’t try very hard to fight back. I took a beating and knifing unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Nothing even close since then, either. Every man in the building took a turn hitting, kicking, or stabbing me. Then they dumped me in the Thames to finish me off.” Caleb smiled as he recalled the severely hard face that appeared over him when he first opened his eyes afterward. “Most self-destructive thing I ever did, and it ended up being the very best thing that could have happened in my life.”

“Connor?” “Yeah.” Caleb nodded, warmth infusing him just thinking about his brothers. “Connor was in the tavern that night and saw me when I showed the demon. I didn’t know he was there, though. He had the demon suppressed so deeply I couldn’t smell him in the room. Not even a whiff.” “You can smell each other?” Jake wrinkled his nose. “Demons have a scent? I don’t smell anything abnormal on you.” “We can sniff out other demons of our own species,” Caleb explained. “Difficult to explain the scent, other than a combination of the woods and smoke. Anyway, being an intelligent man, well, demon then, Connor didn’t step in to help me in a battle he knew he couldn’t win. He followed, waiting for them to dump me, and then fished me out and took me to his little hovel of a room. I didn’t believe him when he told me he was Dastetier too. After all, I couldn’t scent it on him, and he couldn’t make himself change as proof. I threw a punch at him and tried to get away. We got in a real drag-out fight. I didn’t have a lot of strength, but I was full of rage and anger, and our fight turned brutal pretty fast. The emotion in trying to defend himself came out in a way Connor couldn’t control, and his demon emerged. That shut me up real quick. He took care of me while I healed from my injuries. While he did, he convinced me that we needed to leave London for a different environment, something less damaging to one’s soul. We decided on Scotland, and that’s where we eventually found Cain --” Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. “Oh shit.” Caleb grabbed his chest, startled out of his goddamned mind by the high-pitched drone of the alarm clock. He strained his neck to look up at the time. “I didn’t realize I kept you up half the night. Sorry.” “Starting to get used to a little less sleep around you, baby.” Jake pressed a fast kiss to Caleb’s shoulder, and then rolled over to Caleb’s side of the bed, cutting off the alarm. “Time to get up for work.” With an amazing lack of complaint, Jake got out of bed.

“Hey.” When Jake passed by him, Caleb snaked out an arm and grabbed him by the thigh, halting his progress. He scrambled around to a sitting position and looked up at Jake, his mouth suddenly dry, and his heart skittering a million beats a minute. Swallowing thickly, he said, “Are we okay? After what I just told you, I mean?” Bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz. Caleb’s cell phone, set to vibrate, bounced around loudly on the surface of the nightstand. Caleb clamped his teeth together so hard his jaw ached. “Damn it all.” Already up, Jake circled the bed, grabbed up the phone, and tossed it at Caleb. “I bet that’s Connor saying he needs help again today. Go ahead and get it before he thinks something’s wrong with you.” Caleb fought the urge to throw the phone at the wall, and turned snapping eyes on Jake. “We fucking weren’t done talking.” Jake caged Caleb with his spread legs. Lifting his fingers, he smoothed them down Caleb’s cheek. The rough texture of Jake’s worker’s hand on Caleb’s skin shot gushing streams of desire and need straight to Caleb’s core. “We’re fine,” Jake promised. “Now answer the damn phone before your brother shows up on our doorstep thinking you’ve got the flu too. I’ll see you downstairs.” “Okay.” Caleb flipped the fold design open and put it his ear, but his eyes remained on Jake’s firm, fine backside until he left the room. Caleb’s heart thudded at the man’s words. Not the “we’re fine.” That, anyone could say to get out of a messy discussion. It was the casual “our doorstep” that slipped into his next sentence that did Caleb in and had him fighting down a frog in his throat before he finally answered his brother’s call. ***** Caleb entered the kitchen and caught Jake sliding into his jacket. Looking up from buttoning his coat, an easy smile lifted Jake’s lips. “Hey there. I was beginning to think I would miss you before we got our days started. I left you some breakfast.” He pointed at a foil-

covered plate on the stove. “Was that Connor? Is everything all right?” “Yeah. Connor needs my help again. I took a few minutes to call the guys who helped out yesterday to tell them to get ready to do the same today.” Caleb walked over to Jake, drawn to him with the strength of opposing magnetic forces. He straightened Jake’s upturned collar, and then fisted his hands in the fabric covering his chest. “Thanks for making me breakfast.” “No problem.” Jake slid his arm around Caleb’s waist and tugged him close. “Maybe tonight we can actually sit down together and share a meal.” “Definitely.” Christ, it all sounded downright domestic. “Seven o’clock? Meet back right here?” “Sounds good. I’ll heat up a frozen lasagna.” “My kind of man.” Caleb chuckled. “Have a good day.” He leaned up close, their lips almost touching. “Stay warm. Full moon tonight means it’s gonna be biting cold all day long.” Jake smiled against Caleb’s mouth. “That’s the most ridiculous damn thing I’ve ever heard.” He pressed a series of hard, fast kisses on Caleb’s mouth and then dragged his lips away. “But I’ll keep bundled up anyway.” Sliding his hat off a peg and onto his head, he opened the back door. “Bye.” Jake winked before he shut the door and left Caleb standing there in a pool of his own drool. Caleb grabbed the plate of cold eggs and buttered toast off the stove and sat down to eat, his heart lighter than he could ever remember it feeling. Maybe he could elude the fates with Jake. Maybe because Jake was another man, and neither one of them was actually gay, maybe the powers that be wouldn’t see Caleb happy this time and know to steal it away. A “beard,” for a lack of a better term. Maybe this time, maybe with Jake, it would actually work out.

“Yeah.” Caleb thought about those nice kisses Jake planted on him before leaving a few minutes ago. “Jake is the reason it’s gonna work this time.” Caleb actually found himself whistling as he got himself together for work. He liked this contented, happy feeling that settled itself on his heart. A lot. Chapter Twenty-Two

“You guys head on home.” Caleb motioned for Hank to go ahead and climb in behind the wheel of one of the trucks. Gabriel drove the second. “I need to talk to Connor.” Hank leaned out the window, scratching his snow-white beard. “Ain’t no problem waiting for you.” “Nah.” Caleb waved the men off with his arms. “I’ll borrow one of the ranch’s trucks and get home just fine.” Sliding the ornery old goat a sly grin, Caleb added, “Don’t start turning all mama hen on me now, old man.” “Can it.” Hank gunned the engine, but spared Caleb one final glance. “You likely don’t even have hair on your gonads yet, while mine already done turned white, but that don’t mean I can’t knock you unconscious with two good punches. Remember that. Here, boy” -- he shoved his hat at Jasper, the young cowboy riding shotgun -- “hold that for me.” Caleb shook his head, laughing as he watched the trucks drive out of sight. “Haven’t heard that particular noise coming from you in a while.” Connor’s rich, deep voice reached Caleb, making him spin and face the main house’s front porch. Connor leaned his brawny shoulder

against the porch post, and cocked his dark head to the side. “Haven’t seen it reach up to your eyes in even longer. So, who is she?” That just made Caleb smile again. Cain had guessed from the first, but of course, he hadn’t spoken of it out of turn. Not even to Connor. Neither man would ever betray a confidence, nor would Cassie. Caleb took the steps on light feet and leaned his shoulder against the column of wood on the other side of the steps, a mirror to Connor. Staring off into the approaching twilight, the sky a swirl of pinks, purples, and oranges, Caleb said, “How about ‘who is he?’” “No fucking way.” Connor’s voice rose in volume, as well as octave, so Caleb guessed that his brother had turned and now stared at him. Maybe even had his jaw hanging down near his chest. “We always knew about Cain, of course, but I had no idea about you.” “Funny thing about that,” Caleb replied. “I didn’t know either.” He finally did spare his brother a glance, and sure enough, his dark, dark eyes shimmered with open shock. He had, however, managed to keep his mouth shut. “Until Jake.” “Our Jake?” That got Connor’s jaw touching the floor. “As is your foreman? Nice guy, kinda quiet.” His eyes rounded, turning from shock to something dangerously like pity. “Still in love with his deceased wife. That Jake?” “That’s the one.” Caleb shrugged his shoulders and raised a knowing “yup” brow. “And, yes, Jake is all of that, including the part about his wife.” Digging his hands into his jacket pockets, Caleb forced himself not to go for the easy joke. He didn’t take his eyes off his brother. “I think that might be one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He gave his heart to her, and he’s fiercely loyal to that, even in death.” Connor’s heavy brows narrowed in a familiar scowl. “I don’t know if I like that, brother. I don’t like the thought of you being second best, even to a ghost.” Damn Connor. Caleb’s chest constricted hard, making breathing difficult for a moment. Connor would make Caleb weep like a baby with his overbearing, protective instincts. “Thanks for saying that, but

it’s okay.” Thinking about how Jake listened to him in bed this morning, and then still kissed him good-bye after learning that once upon a time he had sold himself, brought a dreamy little smile to Caleb’s lips. “Jake gives me as much as he can. Believe me, it’s a lot. More than I’ve ever had with anyone else in my life. He makes me have dreams about days beyond the next few, and what it could be like to share a home and bed with the same person for a year.” Heat flamed his face and neck. “For ten years. Hell, I don’t know, maybe more.” “And what about the demon?” Connor asked. “I know you, Caleb. You act cavalier about sex and love, but I know that if you commit yourself to this man you won’t allow a situation to arise where a human female could fall in love with you and turn you human.” Notwithstanding the fact that Caleb would need a Halloween full moon too, for such a possibility to occur. They would not see another of those rarities for a number of years. “You’ll devote yourself to him the way you have to me and Cain, and you would cease all flirting with women. It wouldn’t even be a conscious thing for you. You would just stop entirely as a result of the commitment you’ve made in your heart, if nowhere else.” Connor knew Caleb well. Truthfully, these days, Caleb had already reached the point where he couldn’t see anyone but Jake. “It wasn’t ever gonna happen for me anyway.” Talk about a ghost haunting Jake. Daphne never let up her stranglehold long enough for Caleb to breathe freely for long either. “I’m not ever going to inspire the kind of unconditional love needed for the ritual to work. Not like how Cassie loves you.” Or even the way Luke loved Cain, even though the ritual required a human female’s undying love for its success, not a male. “I’m happy with what I have with Jake right now. It’s enough for me.” I don’t have the right to ask for more. “I actually feel…content.” “Well then, I’m happy for you. So, is that what you stuck around for today?” Connor flashed a brief, rare smile, and jabbed his hands in on either side of Caleb’s waist, poking Caleb with a fast tickle. “To give me details about your hot new love life? To brag about the fact that your sexual prowess has leapt to an entirely new gender?”

“No.” Caleb performed a quick two-step while slapping his brother’s hands away, chuckling and feeling light of heart. “Well, not specifically, anyway. I wanted to talk to you -- and Cain -- about putting the word out on the property to see how many guys might be interested in overseeing travel with the bull stock when they’re on the rodeo schedule.” Scott and Jason would be at the top of Caleb’s list of people to offer an interview for the position, but others deserved a chance at the job too. “I don’t want to assign it to someone; that’s how Jake ended up stuck touring with Morrison’s outfit, and he hated it. Maybe we can have anyone who is interested sign up, and we’ll spend a couple of days doing interviews, see who’s qualified, or even just quick, eager, and teachable. We can offer him or her a raise and a promotion. What do you think?” “Don’t want to stray too far away from home anymore, huh?” Connor mused, his gaze going all soft for a minute. “I understand that.” “Yeah.” Finally, finally, Caleb understood the dreamy expression that clouded Connor’s eyes every once in a while. He thought about Cassie; Caleb knew that. More than just having the thought, Connor took a private moment to bask in the warmth of his love for her. Caleb often saw it in Cassie and Cain too, as well as Luke and a number of his friends in committed relationships. While intellectually Caleb always knew why it happened, only since knowing Jake did he comprehend what it felt like when it happened. A whole lot scary, but damned light and wistful too. Reluctantly, Caleb pulled himself out of his own little tingly “moment” of thinking about Jake. “I don’t want to sell the bull stock and give up the business. It’s just starting to prove fruitful, and within the next year or so, it is gonna make us a hell of a lot of money. I’d like to keep the facility and continue to breed and train champion bulls; I just don’t want to go on the road with them anymore. At least, not nearly as much. I think we can find someone in the organization that would take to this job with ease, don’t you?” “Hell yeah.” Connor nodded. “Not a problem. You’ll probably end up interviewing at least twenty-five guys for the job.” “That’s what I thought. Think Cain will be all right with it?”

“I think he’ll wonder why in the hell you felt like you even needed to run it by him first, kind of like I do. But take a truck and go talk to him, if you’re not sure.” “I’ll do that tomorrow.” Slashes of burning heat stung Caleb’s cheeks. “Got someone waiting for me to get home to for dinner tonight.” “Oh, man.” Connor leaned in and thumped a quick slap on Caleb’s shoulder before backing up to his front door. He shook his head and pointed. “You’ve got it bad.” “Yeah.” Caleb found himself rolling his shoulder against the porch post, his body all loose and gangly, his back bowed in an arch. “I think I do.” “For God’s sake. Look at you, standing there like a teenager thinking about his first date.” Connor opened the door at his back. “Let me get you some keys so you can get home to your man.” He disappeared inside. While Caleb waited, he imagined getting home and coming in through the kitchen to the smells of a meal already cooking, and a warm, real body that would welcome him with a kiss and a hug. Well, he hoped a kiss and a hug. Maybe a little more, if Jake hadn’t taken his shower yet. They were very good at doubling up and conserving water lately. Caleb wondered if he could talk Jake into moving all his stuff into one bedroom and officially sharing a room, as well as the house. The talk about Krista had gone better than Caleb ever could have dared dream, and by putting that out in the open Caleb hoped to take the pressure off Jake’s need to hide her -“Here you go.” Connor tossed Caleb a single key on a ring, snapping Caleb back to the porch. “Take mine. You can drive it back in the morning. Cassandra has been looking in on our guys and says if we don’t want to risk a relapse they’re gonna need at least another day to recover.” “We’ll be here.” Caleb held up the ring and jangled the key. “Thanks. Tell Cassie bye for me, and give the kids a kiss from Uncle Caleb. ’Night.”

“Will do.” Caleb climbed in the truck, watching through the rearview mirror as he pulled away. Almost out of sight, he saw Cassie join Connor on the front porch. His brother immediately slipped an arm around his wife and pressed a kiss to her temple. He then tucked her against his chest, still as openly in love as the night all of Connor’s secrets came out, and Cassie’s gift of love allowed them a life together. Caleb turned the truck onto a set of deep grooves in the packed dirt that served as the main road from Connor’s home to Caleb’s. As he did, Caleb accepted that while he didn’t have exactly what Connor and Cassie had, he still had something pretty damn good. Other than his brothers, their spouses, and maybe one or two close friends, Caleb probably wouldn’t ever be able to tell anyone what he had going on with Jake. He didn’t mind. He would love to show Jake off with pride, but he didn’t need to brag, and he certainly didn’t have a cause he looked to promote by sharing his new feelings with the world. With his open support of his brother and Luke, and his employment of Ren Boone, Caleb didn’t have to flaunt what he did with Jake in order to prove he supported a person’s right to be whoever the hell they wanted to be. Caleb didn’t get the feeling Jake was the kind of guy who liked to advertise his personal life either, whether it be a man or woman sharing his bed. No one questioned the fact that the men shared a roof. Nobody outside of family and the closest of friends ever ventured upstairs, the one place an observant person would notice that he and Jake unofficially started sharing a bedroom and bathroom. Krista’s pictures around the house didn’t signify anything other than Jake settling in. In fact, they probably drew people away from the idea that Caleb and Jake might have something going on between them. Yet more proof that in many ways the man still considered himself married to her. Yeah, the more Caleb thought about it, the better his sense of ease about his unique relationship with Jake Chase grew. Christ, he wanted that more than any --

Pop! The steering wheel jerked hard under Caleb’s palms, and he fought to control the swerve of the vehicle as it veered to the right and spun in a half circle. “Son of a bitch.” Caleb knew the sound he had heard and the sensation that had vibrated under his feet from through the vehicle. “Goddamned fucking blown tire.” He stopped his ranting quickly, realizing that if he just quit bitching and fixed the thing, he would still make dinner with a little bit of time to spare. “Better get to it.” Caleb turned off the truck and climbed out, ignoring the bitter cold that whipped right through him as if he wore nothing at all. With an industrial flashlight and the position of the rising full moon in the sky, Caleb wouldn’t have any trouble seeing while he worked. He knew he would do it in pitch darkness though, if he had to. He would get home to Jake in time for their meal; he wouldn’t miss it for the world. Caleb got to the back of the truck and climbed up onto the foothold, just as a chilling frisson of awareness washed over him, having nothing to do with the dropping temperature in the air. Before Caleb could turn, a powerful shock of electricity stabbed him in the small of his back and rocked through the entirety of his body, paralyzing his nerve endings, making him convulse as he fell, hitting the cold ground with a thud. Misshapen spots on top of spots danced before Caleb’s eyes. When combined with the half-light, everything blinded him to the shadow that loomed over his prone, numb body. “I’m sorry it has to end for you this way, Mr. Hawkins,” said a voice Caleb could not immediately identify. Something pressed on his chest. More electricity raced through his body, wringing an almost silent, hoarse cry from his stripped throat. Had to be a Taser gun. The buzzing pain burning under his skin became too great to handle, and Caleb slipped out of consciousness. His last thought before he dropped: I don’t get a life with Jake after all. Fucking fate. Chapter Twenty-Three

Tapping the heel of his boot relentlessly on the hardwood flooring, Jake pulled back the curtain from the office window and looked for signs of Caleb once again. The porch light cast a soft glow in a half circle, cutting through the misty air and capturing the edges of the dirt trail that led around to the back of the house, where they parked their vehicles. Over an hour ago, on his way to the house from the horse barn, Jake had crossed paths with the guys unloading and heading back to the bunkhouse from their workday. Without Jake having to ask, Hank had shared that the boss needed a word with his brother, and that he might not be home for a while. Jake just nodded, but he knew something Hank didn’t. Caleb had a date tonight. And in his gut, Jake knew that man wouldn’t be late. “Son of a bitch. Where are you?” A clammy, twisting sensation continued to build in Jake’s stomach, and he fought down a wave of panic that made him want to rage and run from the house like a madman. “Why haven’t you come home to me?” Images of himself burying Krista, barely keeping his feet under him through the awful ceremony, almost buckled Jake’s legs again, making him stumble. He pushed through the weight that wanted to double him over, and raced to the phone instead. He was determined to act rationally, but decisively -- in a way he hadn’t done for his wife. Jake picked up the phone and dialed, and tried his damnedest to regulate his breathing while he waited for a response. After the fifth ring voice mail picked up with, “This is Caleb Hawkins. Leave me a mess --” Jake hung up quickly, his heart racing with dread as he dialed another number. Maybe a dozen people had Caleb’s personal cell number, and he always picked up when it rang. “Hello.” Connor’s deep, familiar voice came through the line. “Hawkins’s residence. Connor speaking.”

“Connor, it’s Jake.” Breathe, Jake, breathe, or you won’t be of any help. “Can I ask you something? Is Caleb with you?” Please be at the main house. I don’t care that you blew off our date, just be there. “No. He left a while ago.” Connor let loose a soft curse. “He was headed straight home. He’s not there yet?” “No. And we had…plans that I know he wouldn’t cancel without letting me know.” Jake picked up a stapler from the desk and started clicking it over and over again, letting the now-folded tines of metal drop to the floor at his side. “I hope he just had a breakdown, but my gut says he would have called me if that were the case. He’s not answering his cell either. I’m gonna take a horse and ride up the road, see if something turns up.” “I’ll start in the other direction, probably meet you in the middle.” Connor’s voice always made everything a statement of intent, not a request for permission, and this was no different. “I’ll have Cassandra call Cain and Luke, and put a call in to the sheriff to take a look around town, just in case.” Connor paused for a moment, and Jake could feel the man’s worry in the heavy, short silence. “I don’t like this, Jake. Not one bit.” “Me either.” Jake already had his mind racing to which horse he would saddle and which weapons he’d take from the locked cabinet in the office. “I hope I’m wrong. I’ll see you soon.” “I won’t lose him,” Connor answered, his voice so certain and strong it actually settled the hammering in Jake’s chest some. “Not now. Have faith. See you soon.” Neither wasting another second on good-byes, Connor and Jake both ended the call at the same time. Hold on, baby. Wherever you are, hold on. I’m coming for you. Jake took off for the barn as if the very hounds of hell growled and bit at his heels. *****

His head in a throbbing fog, Caleb came to slowly…and then almost wished he hadn’t. Naked and stretched out across a spitlike structure, he had his hands and feet tied on either end. Whoever did this to him had shifted his body sideways so that his hip jutted down toward the ground at an awkward angle. Caleb tried to look around, and from what little he could see, he was tied smack in the center of what looked like a sacrificial circle. Created in the dirt and stamped-down dead grass with something white: sugar, salt, flour, powdered chalk, God only knew. Hysterical, Caleb wondered what in the hell kind of mess he’d gotten himself into. From assisting Cain in sending him through to his clan so that he could demand a ritual that could turn him human, Caleb had researched a little bit about the significance of different symbols and figures, but unfortunately retained only the information needed to send Cain through the portal. This circle sure as hell didn’t look like what Caleb had drawn on Cain’s living room floor, that was for damn sure. Crap. This couldn’t be good. His hands and feet radiated with excruciating tingles, the raw nerve endings creeping the pain halfway up his forearms and calves before transitioning to complete numbness; whether from the way his captor had him tied up or the biting October night air, Caleb didn’t know. Nor did he care. None of this mattered. Not who had him, or why. Even what they intended to do with him didn’t matter. He didn’t really give a shit. He just had to figure out how to gain the upper hand and get free. For Jake’s sake. Christ, Caleb would not let that man lose someone else he cared about, not if it was within his power to stop it. “I’m sorry for zapping you and hitting you.” That voice that Caleb knew, but couldn’t place, hit his ears again, coming from behind. “I don’t want to kill you” -- Caleb struggled to shift in his bindings and strained his neck in order to see into the darkness of tree cover, but couldn’t make out more than a tall frame in the shadows -- “but if I don’t, she’ll die.”

She? For a split second, Caleb had the crazed thought that Daphne had resurrected and finally come to make him pay. “Who are you?” Caleb fought to turn his entire body, but the way he was tied sideways to the spit didn’t allow more than his neck to turn. “Show yourself, cow --” A familiar scent assaulted Caleb’s nose and stopped his insult midword, tingling a fragrance into his nostrils that he hadn’t smelled in years. Mossy and of the earth, with an underlying smoky note, Caleb hadn’t expected to pick up that scent again in his lifetime. Unless he figured out a way to smell a fundamental part of himself. “You’re Dastetier,” Caleb said, his voice almost an awed whisper. “You’re demon.” He hadn’t smelled the ingrained scent in a very long time, but he would recognize it anywhere. “Of my species.” “No.” Caleb watched the outline in the shadows shift and loom closer, and then the face of a black-haired cowboy showed itself in the light of the full moon. Holy hell. Gabriel. And every bit as naked as Caleb. No. Fucking. Way. “And now that you see me,” Gabriel said, “you know I’m not.” No. If Gabriel were Dastetier, Caleb would have smelled the scent of their clan on him right from the start. In his lifetime, he had only known of Connor’s deep-seated suppression of the scent. Never anyone else; it was very hard to achieve. Caleb had never gotten a hint of it from this young man. Not even once. So Gabriel had a partner somewhere close by, still lurking in the shadows. A fellow Dastetier. “What in the hell is going on?” Caleb felt as if the world tilted off its axis, and it didn’t have anything to do with his neck hanging at an awkward angle and rushing blood to his head. The hairs on his arms and legs grew other hairs on top of them, and they all stood at attention, putting him at full alert, filling him with a spike of adrenaline that surged through his veins. “Why did you come to my property? Who in the hell are you working for?” Bypassing Gabriel, Caleb shouted, “Show yourself, demon!” as the smell invaded him even more deeply. “Don’t let this boy do your dirty work for you!” “Don’t talk to her like that.” A hissing growl rolled through Gabriel, so infused with rage that Caleb could feel it rumble though his own body, no matter that a half dozen feet separated them. “I am nobody’s

pawn.” Before Caleb’s eyes, Gabriel doubled over, crying out with a high-pitched catlike yowl, his body and face transforming. Glossy black hair covered his flesh as he shape-shifted into something entirely different -- a huge black, prowling, stalking cat. He came right for Caleb, his giant paw with razor-sharp claws on full display. Shit. ***** With his flashlight beam shining down on the dirt road, Jake forced his horse to walk at a steady pace when everything inside him screamed that he put Midnight Run into a full gallop. As he’d felt with Krista six years ago, Jake knew on a bone-deep level that the discomfort she experienced that week before her death meant something was wrong. Right now, much like back then, Jake sensed that he would not find Caleb or the truck he drove parked on the side of the road. Jake looked for clues because something bad had happened, and this time, he wouldn’t let the feeling of dread drop, or try to rationalize it out of his thoughts. Caleb needed him. This time, Jake would not ignore the call of distress. No way. Briinngg. Brrinnng. Brinng. Jake sat up straight, his heart thumping erratically as he heard the muted strains of a ringing phone. “Caleb.” The ringtone wasn’t unique, but Jake immediately recognized it as the one on Caleb’s cell phone. Smart. So smart. Someone tried calling the number, hoping to locate it. Probably Connor. Loud enough for Jake to hear it, but still very faint, Jake forgot all about his mantra to go slow. He put Midnight Run into a good-paced gallop while straining with every decibel of his hearing to identify the direction from which that ringing phone came. “Come on, Caleb. Talk to me, baby.” Jake stayed on the road, picking up speed, all the while praying he didn’t fly by an important clue. “Tell me where to go.”

The phone rang five times, then paused, rang five times, then paused. Jake knew Connor dialed the number repeatedly, clicking off when the voice mail kicked in so that he could keep that blessed sound reaching their ears, until they found its location. Finally, finally, it sounded as if Jake were right on top of the damn thing. He pulled on the reins, barely giving Midnight Run time to stop before scrambling off the animal and into the brush. The ringing stopped again, and Jake froze. “Come on, come on, come on.” Turning in a slow circle, Jake held his breath and waited for the signal to sound again. Briinngg. Bringgg. Not only did Jake hear it, but a soft blue glow shone up from within high, drying bramble, like the flickering of a lightning bug teasing a playing child. Jake raced to capture it. Snatching it off the ground, Jake flipped the cell open and put it to his ear. “It’s Jake,” he said, without waiting to hear who was on the other end of the line. “I’m about a mile away from where the dirt road starts on our end. There’s no Caleb or a truck in sight.” “I’m not that far away from you,” Connor spoke, his voice rough, but strong. “Start looking around, and I’ll be there in two.” “Will do.” Jake closed the phone and brought the little piece of technology to his lips. He pressed a kiss to it, letting the feel of Caleb envelop him by having this item, something that was such a part of Caleb, in his possession. “Tell me where you are, baby. Give me some kind of sign.” Jake walked the twenty-five feet back up to the dirt road, grabbed his flashlight out of its makeshift hold, and pointed it down in the direction from which he’d just come. He moved a couple of paces back in the direction of their property, and came up with nothing. Backtracking on the path toward Connor and Cassie’s place, about fifty feet ahead he came across a big tear of lines veering off the dirt into the grass and low foliage, ripping a tire line that Jake never would have seen if not explicitly looking for it. He tracked it foot by agonizing foot, but felt new life breathe into his bones when he traced the line back to where he found the cell phone, and beyond.

The thunder of hooves shook the earth beneath Jake’s feet and Connor came into view, a big flashlight strapped to the rifle scabbard attached to his saddle, as Jake had done with his when he’d left. Connor slid off his horse in one smooth motion, and reached Jake in four big strides. “Tell me you have something.” “Don’t know.” Jake wanted to hope, but he didn’t dare do it and suffer the crushing blow of being wrong. “Looks like the truck did some kind of a tailspin and then veered off the road this way. Must have come to a stop for Caleb to have gotten out, because I found his cell phone” -- Jake pointed backward -- “about a dozen feet back from where you just walked. Looks like we have a tire trail here.” Making eye contact with Connor, Jake took comfort in the steady stare in the man’s dark eyes. “Caleb wouldn’t have left his cell phone on the ground. Something knocked it loose from his waistband.” Connor nodded. “A struggle.” “Yeah.” God, Jake almost wanted Connor to say he sounded paranoid. “I think so.” Connor lifted his gaze in the direction of where the tire tracks led -straight toward the mountains. “Think we can follow the trail from horseback if we double up our flashlights?” “I’m pretty sure I could see it.” Even if he couldn’t, Jake would get off and on Midnight Run every two minutes in order to get to Caleb, if he had to. “How ’bout you?” “I think between the two of us, we’ve got a decent shot.” They both headed back in a fast run for their mounts. “Let’s get to it.” Praying for Caleb to hold on, Jake and Connor got to work. ***** “No, Gabriel.” The command hissed through the darkness, its forceful tone jolting a different kind of fear through Caleb. “You can’t tear him open.” Strangely more foreboding than the terror of the big cat’s paw dropping in midair, the sultry feminine voice rippled a shiver

through Caleb, even though he slumped with relief. With the sharp claws from the cat headed right for his family jewels, Caleb had come amazingly close to losing his favorite organ. Eyeing the animal that prowled dangerously close, on another verbal instruction from the female voice, the monstrous, puma-like cat receded as fast as the demon did for Caleb, and Gabriel returned to his human form. A rare Saprykyn shape-shifter, that’s what Gabriel was. Caleb had heard of them, but had never seen one in person. Legend said they could live nearly as long as demons. Before Caleb could question Gabriel’s plans for him, the smoky earth scent grew richer and more pungent, making Caleb’s nostrils wrinkle in automatic preservation. The female must have moved closer. Dastetier, there could be no mistaking it now. Caleb had never in his life smelled such a powerfully strong identifying odor from a single one of his species. Unique. Usually the female possessed a more delicate scent than the male, until very, very close to the natural age of death. Even then, it did not compare to this stench. This held an unmistakable rancid quality to it, something that in his initial fear, Caleb had overlooked. What in the hell was going on? What did this fellow demon and a Saprykyn want with him? Most important, how could he use it to get back to Jake? Suddenly, a shadow emerged from the direction in which Gabriel had come, and a female with the deepest color red hair and the palest skin Caleb had ever seen appeared. Nude as well, her breasts swayed with the weight of larger-than-average size, the tips as deep a color as the hair on her head and between her legs. Bewitching pale, pale blue eyes flickered over Caleb and then gleamed, reflecting the light of the high-hanging moon. Caleb reared his head back and inhaled on automatic, coughing as the demon fragrance that clung to her overwhelmed his nasal passages, burning the cavities as he tried to breathe. She continued to stare at him, and Caleb’s insides tried to shrink and hide from that hungry gaze. Jesus. Not even Jake looked at him like that two seconds before plunging into Caleb’s eager ass. Caleb didn’t feel the least bit of a sexual vibe off the look, though.

The female’s attention made him feel like a…like a starving woman’s next meal. “He will do very well,” the woman said, her body trembling as she moved to Gabriel. “I feel the health and vitality still coursing through his veins.” She touched the tips of her fingers down Gabriel’s chest and stomach to his cock, rubbing him in a way that made the man moan and push into her hand. “The time is right. The hunter’s moon has moved high enough into the sky. Get your things. Let us begin.” Gabriel disappeared outside the circle for a moment, to a place Caleb’s eyes could not follow. The female, still nameless, but obviously in control, folded down to the ground, sitting in a smaller circle within the circle. She set her wrists on her knees, palms up, pads of her thumbs and index fingers touching each other in a meditative pose. Gabriel returned, dragging a long, brushed silver trough behind him with one hand…and holding a wicked-looking relic of a gleaming ten-inch blade in the other. He moved to Caleb and dropped to his knees, sliding the basin under Caleb’s suspended body. Oh, sweet merciful hell. Sweat popped out on Caleb’s forehead and upper lip, and he began to fight the restraints again, wheezing with a rush of fear when the ropes didn’t give so much as a groan, let alone stretch enough for him to break free. The knife looked ancient, and Caleb could see what looked like words etched into the blade. Shit. This was bad. Ritual sacrifice bad. Skipping over Gabriel, Caleb turned his focus to the woman. One of his own. “Why have you grabbed me?” The ornate knife, the circle, the symbols, oh God, the full moon. It all had to matter. “What is happening here? What are you trying to do to me?” “Not try. Do.” The cold, matter-of-fact way the female spoke sent more icy chills through Caleb than anything else up to this point. “We’re going to steal your life.” “What?” Ripping his gaze off the woman, he turned to the young man who had worked on his land and among his people for months. “Gabriel, tell me what’s going on.”

Real pain and remorse filled the hazel in Gabriel’s eyes near to brimming. “I apologize,” he whispered, his voice so soft it almost didn’t reach Caleb’s ears. “Cressida is my life.” His pale gaze strayed to the naked woman. “I love her. I can’t lose her. I have to help her live. And for that, you have to die. I’m sorry.” Strangest thing was, Caleb believed him. And understood. Even as the blade of the knife sliced the first deep gash right through his flesh, Caleb understood. Chapter Twenty-Four

“Ahhh! Goddamnit!” Caleb bit a hole right through his lip as the blade of the knife cut into his side, flaying him open with a six-inch gash that went at least an inch deep. Pure fire shot through Caleb, practically blinding him with the pain focused on his left side where the wound tore right through the side of his waist. At the exact same moment that Gabriel pierced Caleb’s flesh with the razor-precise knife, the female began to chant, speaking under her breath in a language Caleb immediately recognized as French. Too low to hear the exact words, Caleb briefly wondered about her language of choice. German was the language of the Dastetier, so she didn’t perform a cultural ritual. At least, not one Caleb knew a damn thing about. He’d done quite a bit of research on rituals too, in his effort to find an alternative means to becoming human, not only for himself, but for Cain and Connor before that. His throat seized as he thought about his siblings. Damn it, he wanted his brothers right now. More, Caleb wanted Jake. A picture of Jake asleep in their bed flashed in Caleb’s mind, drawing an ache from his core that had nothing to do with what Gabriel did to him. Seeing Jake’s dark hair that held just a hint of gray at the temples tousled against his pillow, his mouth open just a little bit while he slept. Another image, one of Jake waiting for him at home tonight,

only for Caleb never to show, sucked an even bigger gaping wound through Caleb’s middle, hurting his heart unbearably. Would Jake think Caleb flaked out on him? Blew him off? Please no, God, not that. On the other hand, maybe that was better. If Gabriel and Cressida disposed of him and he simply disappeared, at least Jake wouldn’t have to suffer through the certainty of another death. He could just think Caleb was an asshole and ran away. Caleb knew his brothers would take care of Jake, would always make sure he had a place and a job on Hawkins Ranch, for however long he wanted it. Caleb could do that one nice thing for Jake if he never returned, if a body never showed up, if Caleb ceased to exist. Maybe Caleb could do that -- if he weren’t so damned selfish. If he didn’t need Jake so fucking much that he couldn’t bear to let the man go. Worse, like a rank pussy, the thought of actually dying right here tonight, in these mountains, all alone, paralyzed Caleb and froze his insides a thousand times more intensely than what these two people attempted to do with him now. Whatever they did. God, what are you doing to me ? Caleb’s wound radiated burning heat, and his blood continued to drain in a steady trickle from his body into the long narrow trough, the drip drip drip drip of the liquid hitting the precious metal possibly the quietest, scariest sound Caleb had ever heard in his life. The female Dastetier’s words “We’re going to steal your life” reentered Caleb’s mind with stunning clarity. These two intended to literally rob him of his life, one drop of blood at a time. The first wave of dizziness hit Caleb shockingly hard, throwing his already compromised equilibrium into an ever-greater downward spiral. He jerked, fighting the sensation of falling, and latched his gaze onto Gabriel, before he slipped too far down to speak. “Please.” Caleb’s breathing hitched as Gabriel produced that special knife again. “You don’t have to finish this. You can stop right now and let me go. I can see this makes you sick. You don’t want to hurt me. Cut me loose while she’s in her own little world over there, and

I’ll make my way home on my own. I won’t speak of it. No one ever has to know.” Gabriel looked to Cressida, where she continued to speak under her breath, almost as if in a trance. Gabriel’s eyes glowed with a fervor Caleb recognized, and the fire punched him low in his gut with a sense of finality he could not fight. He saw that look in the gazes of his brothers and their respective spouses -- and in himself when he brushed his teeth in front of the bathroom mirror, all the while thinking about Jake. Impossible to reason with. Impossible to overcome. Caleb had no chance of leaving this clearing alive. As Gabriel cut into him again, he knew the Saprykyn did this for love. Caleb had no hope of fighting a motivation as powerful as that. I’m sorry, Jake. Caleb hurt too much to weep. So, so sorry. ***** The deep burgundy truck gleamed in the moonlight, empty and intact, taunting the men who circled it, as if looking at it from another angle would show them the answer they hadn’t seen thus far. “There must be a new trail.” Working with every ounce of willpower in him, Jake stamped down the continuous rushes of adrenaline that wanted to take over and have him shooting off half-cocked without a plan. “Nobody is going to take Caleb in one direction, but drive the truck and dump it here in another, just to throw us off track. He wasn’t gone from either one of us long enough for something like that to happen.” Jake prayed that he could rely on some semblance of logic. If he couldn’t, he had no hope of finding Caleb, and he categorically refused to let that thought creep in and freeze him right where he stood. God wouldn’t do that to him. Not twice. “Wherever Caleb was taken, it has to be a place that, from this point on, the truck could no longer access.” Jake turned to Connor, who searched the ground for a trail on the opposite side of the vehicle. “You’ve lived here forever. I

don’t know these mountains well enough to have a gut instinct. Tell me you know which direction to head in next.” “There used to be an old line cabin about a mile and a half northeast of here.” Connor lifted his gaze from the ground, and his dark eyes shone like smooth onyx stones. “Some bad shit went down in it a long time ago to a couple of people we love, so when we acquired the MacLesten property we razed it straight down to the ground. We didn’t build anything new, and decided just to let the piece of land grow as it would without our interference. We don’t put anything up that way out of respect. If whoever took Caleb keeps their ears open or knows any of the history of the property, they would know about it.” “Feel it in your gut?” Jake asked. He held his breath, his heart lodged in his throat while Connor looked away, stared off for an agonizing long moment in the direction he’d mentioned, before coming back to Jake. “Yeah.” Connor gave a short, clipped nod. “I do.” Jake knew these men very well by now. He didn’t need anything else. “Then let’s go find Caleb.” Stay with me, baby. I need you. Wherever you are, fight until we find you. ***** Caleb could barely keep his eyes open. His body had grown extremely cold, to the point where he shook like a fragile leaf attached to a winter-brittle tree branch. Now he could feel very little. Not even the pain anymore. He thought he might be a disembodied head, if not for the fact that he could see a body when he looked down, even if he had no sensation that it remained. He didn’t know how much of his blood Gabriel had systematically, with clean precision, drained from him at this point, but it had to be a lot. Maybe more than half. That couldn’t be good. Even for a demon.

“Tell me why you need me,” Caleb tried again, his words slurring. He didn’t know if he actually spoke them coherently anywhere other than in his mind. He blinked, his eyelids so heavy, and looked at Gabriel, desperate for a piece of humanity before he slipped away for good. “Why are you killing me in this way? I deserve to know.” Gabriel looked up from his task again, his gaze lingering on Caleb’s face, perhaps searching for whether on not at this point it would matter if he shared. Maybe he saw something in Caleb’s eyes, or simply felt the raw fear of dying coursing through what remained of Caleb’s blood. This time, finally, Gabriel answered. “Cressida needs your blood in order to survive. Without it, she will die.” “Wh-why?” Caleb struggled to see past Gabriel to where Cressida sat, still as death in her chanting trance. “What’s wrong with her?” “As long as she drinks your blood this evening, then nothing.” “Wha-what if she doesn’t?” “Then her five hundred years of natural life would catch up to her, and she would pass over into death.” His head already cloudy, the fog within swirled with more menace and tried its damnedest to pull him under for good. It messed with his head so deeply that Caleb couldn’t process double-talk in this acute state of distress. “Please. Just tell me everything. Speak plainly.” He knew he still lived, but he could no longer sense his heart beating. So scared all these years about going on alone after his family grew old and died, Caleb never saw fate pulling this fast one. Letting him start to feel a sense of peace in his life, and then stealing him away from it before he could let go and truly enjoy it. So arrogant, Caleb always thought he would remain to suffer in loss, never that fate would take him and force his family and Jake to grieve for his death. Knowing that if they found him, those he loved would hurt and have to go on without him; that knowledge would continue to kill Caleb over and over again, even in death. So diabolically clever of you, Fate.

If Caleb had to go, he needed to know the twistedly ingenious plan the universe had decided on in taking him out. “Tell me, Gabriel. Please.” Caleb could hardly hear his thoughts, and had no idea if he actually conveyed them to the man performing this ritualistic bloodletting that would steal his life. “I don’t think I have much time left where I’ll understand what you say. Talk to me. Now.” With incredibly steady hands, Gabriel made another cut, this one across Caleb’s hip. Caleb didn’t so much as flinch as he watched the blade sink into his flesh; he no longer felt a damn thing. Never a wound that caused his blood to gush, just that constant drip drip drip that slowly drove Caleb to madness, even more than the chanting from the female. After what felt like an eternity, Gabriel answered. “Cressida has found a way to outlive her death. She needs the blood of a healthy Dastetier demon in her blood every fifty years in order to remain alive and healthy in this life. With the power of the hunter’s moon that shines tonight, and a chant that draws your demon strength out along with your blood, she will drink your life force into her body and remain at my side, healthy and vital, until the time comes when we must do this again. This knife is sacred, blessed and ingrained with the words needed to extend life beyond that which the universe decrees. There are no others, and Cressida’s first protector went to great lengths to take possession of it. Those who were charged with protecting it did not wish to part with it and paid for that choice with their lives. That is how special Cressida is.” She inspired people to kill for her. Fuck. “It is not personal, Mr. Hawkins,” Gabriel went on, as calm and polite as if they shared a beer. “You were chosen because we believe that you have great vigor and health. You still recover quickly from injury --” “Wait.” Finding clarity in the fog for just a brief moment, Caleb saw Gabriel, and the truth, in sharp, stark relief. “You were testing me,” he said, basic functions failing him as drool ran from the corner of his mouth across his cheek. Damn it. He wondered if he would crap after he died, or if this blood loss would spare him the indignity. “Testing

my health. You shot me that day in the mountains. You shot Rock-nRoll, hoping he would do serious damage, so you could see how quickly I recovered.” “No. I couldn’t slip away without detection in order to do it. I alerted Cressida when opportunity arose, and she did it. First time was to test you and see if you were indeed still demon. The shot that hit the bull was meant for you too. We had to check that you hadn’t found a way to change, like your brothers.” “How did you know?” Caleb’s eyes slid closed, and he didn’t have the strength to open them again. “Brothers. How did you know they turned?” “Connor has children with Cassie,” Gabriel said. Although Caleb couldn’t see the young man’s face, he thought he heard longing in the words. “And Cain lives openly with another male.” “Oh, right.” If Connor were still demon, he could not give Cassie, a human woman, children. And Cain’s former clan would have executed him long ago for openly living with a man were he still Naverto. Cressida, of course, couldn’t get close enough to check Caleb for herself. Caleb would have smelled the clan on her, and it would rouse suspicion in him, right from the start. Brain function, and the ability to reason simple concepts, had abandoned Caleb if he needed Gabriel to point out these basic points of logic. “The second time?” Caleb wondered. He didn’t really care, but he feared if he stopped trying to talk, he would die. I’m so afraid to die, and I don’t know why. “You hid away inside your house the first time, and then went back on the tour,” Gabriel answered. “We couldn’t really tell how quickly you’d healed, so we tried again, just to be sure you recovered quickly and proved your superior health. She missed, and wasn’t able to take another shot.” “Fence line?” “Oh.” Gabriel’s voice went up, and in his groggy state, Caleb though he heard surprise laced in that word. “We didn’t do that. Just lucked

out that it threw the focus of the attacks on you in a completely different direction. Probably just a punk. Maybe someone you fired or some guy whose woman you stole and pissed him off.” Woman. That would have been a slow burning revenge. Caleb sometimes forgot that nobody outside his family knew about Jake. That he didn’t get to brag about him in any way that would come across as more personal than business. That saddened Caleb now, in a way. Jake kept to himself so much, and he was so quiet and reserved, that people didn’t see what an incredible man lived under the surface of that hard, handsome face and uncompromising body. As he slipped down further, Caleb had the fleeting thought that Krista would have embraced Caleb and Jake’s relationship. He understood that now in a way he didn’t before. Anyone who loved Jake that much would have been happy that another person on this planet saw the special man that she did, and wanted to show him off and take care of him in the way she had done for too short a time. Caleb got that now. He knew it without question, because in this moment, Caleb wanted the same thing for Jake. He wanted Jake to move past what they had shared, and show someone else that he was a wonderful person capable of great strength, kindness, and loyalty. If it couldn’t be him, Caleb wanted Jake to release both him and Krista, and find someone else to love. Don’t cry for me, baby. I don’t deserve it. I love you. Caleb slipped away before he got the chance to say good-bye. Chapter Twenty-Five

Caleb couldn’t believe it; he actually saw the pinpoint of white light. Not the fiery road paved straight to hell, where he suspected he would go. Or, worse, a desolate vacuum of permanent, cold darkness, as he’d so feared might exist for him in the beyond. The light washed over

Caleb, warming the chill that had frozen his insides past the point of numbness to outright frostbite. Maybe he would see Daphne in this afterlife, and get another chance to beg for forgiveness in a way she would accept, as she had not done in life. Maybe he would meet Krista and get to thank her for sharing Jake with him, even for such a short amount of time. Maybe she would like Caleb and say, “Thank you for drawing my husband back into life.” She would be lovely that way; Caleb knew it. She had to be. She saw the beauty in Jake, after all. Christ, therein existed the one bad thing about heading toward death. Barely gone and Caleb’s heart ached already, wailing for its mate. For Jake. Suddenly, a thundering boom rang in his ears, pushing through the dreamy, wonderful fog. A horrible cry ripped through the air. Then, “Don’t move! Don’t move!” and, “Get your hands the hell off him, or I’ll shoot you right through the goddamned heart next time!” Did Caleb know those voices? Were they even real? Too exhausted to fight, unable to pry even one eye open to see if something on the other side tried to seduce and trick him, Caleb stayed in his cocoon, torn between the voices and the shimmering beacon of light.

Everything happened in a cacophony of fast-moving acts that Jake could not process with his limited, human knowledge. He fired a shot at Gabriel without warning, hitting him in the wrist, forcing the knife from his hand before he could put one more nick on Caleb’s hanging, limp body. Gabriel cried out, whirling in a half circle toward the woman with him, his body changing in the beat of a heart before Jake’s very eyes, from that of the man he had hired, into a giant black cat. What the hell? Another demon? At the same time, the woman, no longer sitting on the ground, screamed, “You can’t stop me!” and lunged for the center of the clearing, running past the big cat and right for Caleb, ignoring Connor’s previous order not to move. Both men, emerging and

attacking from opposite sides of the clearing, fired on the woman, twice each, the momentum forcing her into a stagger, where she fell forward and bumped into the silver basin situated under Caleb, knocking it over onto its side. Blood splashed out into the dirt in an almost artistic arc, saturating the ground in spits and puddles, already starting to sink into the cold, hard earth. The woman threw herself into the blood and immediately started trying to gather it back into a single puddle with her arms, screaming, “No, no, no!” The cat hovered at her side, meowing and nudging her forcefully with its head, clearly trying to move her. She slapped at it and went back to sticking her face into the blood that slowly soaked into the ground. Jake moved in from one side, while Connor edged closer on the other. Both of them kept their guns trained on Gabriel -- who definitely no longer resembled the young cowboy Jake thought he knew. Getting within a few feet of Caleb, and seeing the whiter-than-death pallor to his skin, his lips tinged a horrible purple-blue, Jake dropped his weapon and rushed to Caleb’s side. “God, baby, what did they do to you?” Afraid to touch, Jake stopped dead for a moment, uncertain where to begin. A line of eight slices created an obscene tiger stripe pattern down Caleb’s left side, starting under his armpit and working down to his thigh. Connor’s chillingly deep voice rang low, cutting through the frigid night. “Don’t move!” Jake glanced up, taking his eyes off Caleb for just two ticks, and saw the cat with its jaw wrapped around the woman’s forearm, dragging her away. “I said, don’t move!” The animal growled, the sound vibrating in its throat, and continued to pull. Just then, the faintest whimper hit Jake’s ears, the piteous sound the most beautiful Jake had ever heard. Caleb. Oh God, Caleb. With that one small noise from his man, Jake started thinking and breathing again. “Connor! Connor! He’s alive. Come here and help me cut him down.” Cursing, Connor pulled up on his weapon, engaged the safety, and stuck the muzzle end between his waistband and belt. Coming to

Caleb’s side, he muttered, “Sons of bitches are gonna get away after doing this to my baby brother.” “I don’t give a shit about them right now,” Jake snapped. “I only care about getting Caleb to the hospital as fast as possible.” Apologizing to Caleb in soothing tones for any additional hurt he might cause by touching, Jake wrapped his arms around the man’s middle. “Now cut him down, feet first, so we can get him to town.” Connor produced a knife from a leather holster at his side and moved to Caleb’s ankles. “We can’t take him to the hospital.” He ripped through the nylon rope binding with incredible speed, forcing Jake to brace himself as he took more of Caleb’s dead weight into his arms. “He’ll become a specimen for scientists.” Quickly, Connor moved to Caleb’s wrists, using his blade to release Caleb into Jake’s waiting arms. “You know what he is.” “I don’t give a fuck about any of that.” Jake transferred Caleb’s limp form over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, all the while laying a wicked cold stare on the man who had already saved Caleb once in his life. “At least he’ll be alive. You can’t fix him with a quick sew-up job this time, Connor. Didn’t you see the amount of blood they let out of him? He needs transfusions if he has any hope of surviving. Now you can fucking help me get him back to the truck and drive us there, or I swear to God I’ll put a bullet in you right here where we stand and get him to help myself.” Jake didn’t wait for Connor to speak. He would not let Caleb die on him. Would. Not. “Now pick up my damn gun and let’s go.” He walked right past Connor, Caleb secure over his shoulder. Jake breathed just a hair easier when Connor followed. He didn’t want to waste time putting Caleb down to shoot Connor, but he damn well would have done it if Connor tried to block him. Caleb belonged to Jake now, and he took that very seriously. Not even family would get in the way of Jake keeping Caleb alive. *****

Swaddled like a babe from his armpits to his knees in a blue sheet Connor kept stored in the emergency pack in his truck, Jake cradled an unconscious Caleb in his arms. He tried desperately to hold Caleb steady while Connor drove like a maniac toward town, but doubt and panic crept in, this scenario too horrifyingly similar to when Krista took her last breaths, dying before Jake could get her to the hospital. Caleb had lost so much blood, and his skin felt like ice to the touch, sinking into Jake, chilling him to the core too. Connor had made good use of his time while making that trek to the abandoned truck. Starting with the hospital, he alerted them to start doing whatever they needed to in order to prep for an incoming trauma that showed signs of shock and extreme blood loss, saying only that they would need O blood, and lots of it. Selfishly, they would let Caleb take the blood and pray for the best. If he survived -no, when he survived -- and his blood anomalies came to light, they would deal with the consequences then. The big man had also called Cain and Luke to pick up the horses the men had left in the mountains where they’d traded them for the truck, telling them to contact the sheriff to begin a hunt for Gabriel and his woman. Connor had given Cain the specifics of the shape-shifter and a physical description of his girlfriend. Obviously, the sheriff would not have the same full disclosure. He would only know he hunted for a rogue cowboy and his woman bent on some kind of cult worship. When Duke Boone received the news about what had happened to Caleb he would demand answers anyway, so Connor wisely chose to share just enough information up front, and hopefully stave off further questions down the line. Jake would take those interrogations with open arms, and any insanity that followed. As long as Caleb survived, Jake would handle any headaches that came his way. But he needed Caleb with him in order to do it. Tucking Caleb even more tightly against his chest, Jake dipped down and pressed a kiss against Caleb’s temple, his touch lingering, unable to break the small connection. “Hold on. For me,” he whispered in Caleb’s ear, the words soft enough just for the two of them to hear.

“Please.” Too much pressure built behind his eyes, pushing out silent tears. “I can’t survive losing you too.” A hint of movement rustled against Jake, so small he almost missed it. Then Caleb turned his head to Jake’s, until their mouths grazed. “S-ssorry.” It was more an emotion than a word, hardly audible to the human ear. “Love you.” His eyelids flickered for the briefest second, revealing that pure blue Jake had become so familiar with these past months. This time, such pain shone in them it drew out a sob from Jake as if a knife pierced him in the heart. “Bye.” Caleb’s eyes slid closed and his head lolled back, oblivion stealing him from Jake once again. “No, goddamnit, no!” Jake hugged Caleb to him, burying his face against the column of Caleb’s throat, something that at one time burned with such warmth, now felt clammy with chill. “You stay with me.” Nuzzling into the faint, softest beat of Caleb’s pulse, Jake held onto that occasional flicker under Caleb’s skin, pouring every ounce of need into the pulse beating from that point. “I won’t let you go. You hear me?” Feeling Caleb slip away with every agonizing breath he took, Jake abandoned God, and went for the one person who might hear his cries -- and respond. Help me, Krista. Don’t let them steal him away from me. I’ve barely been breathing since you went away, but he makes me want to wake up in the morning, because I know I get to spend time with him. I know I promised I would remain faithful to you; I’m so sorry I couldn’t do it. Please forgive me. Help me keep him here, with me. I can’t bear to lose him, not after having already lost you. I love you, Krista. I swear I didn’t mean to let it happen, but I think I love him too. Please, help me. I beg you, Sunshine, please. Don’t let him die. Jake didn’t hear Krista’s voice, or feel an ethereal presence, but at that moment, Connor reached across the span of the seat and squeezed Jake’s shoulder. “Keep holding him tight and letting him know you’re here. The hospital is only a few minutes away.”

Jake kept his face buried in Caleb’s neck, making sure he could always feel that faint pulse. “Hear that, love? We’re almost there. We’ll have you patched up and back on your feet in no time flat.” Jake prayed God didn’t make him a liar. He had gone through a hell of a lot in the course of his life. A higher power owed him a miracle. He was damn well ready to collect. ***** They waited in the surgical family holding area. And waited. And waited. Once Jake handed Caleb over to the doctors -- who had stood by the ER door in preparation for their arrival -- he couldn’t seem to stop moving, wouldn’t let himself sit down for anything longer than the time it took to donate a pint of his blood. Didn’t matter that they couldn’t use it on Caleb tonight; what they did use this evening would need replacing. The lateness of the hour didn’t seem to matter to most folks, as a staggering number of them came in to donate blood after word circulated about the attack on Caleb. God, he’s so flip and quick to brush off praise. He has no idea of the sheer number of people in this town who care about him and want him in their lives. Like Jake. He wanted Caleb. Needed him. All of these people, really, Jake realized, as he surveyed the group waiting for word about their family member or friend. The brothers and their spouses, Risa and Ren keeping each other company as Duke and Cade headed up the team out searching for Gabriel and his woman. A number of the cowboys from the ranch, most notably the grizzled Hank, someone Jake knew secretly thought of Caleb as a son more than a boss. It hit Jake all of a sudden that it wasn’t just the people gathered here that he had let slip into his heart, but the town. Caleb had given Jake more than a job and a roof over his head; he’d invited Jake to live in a little dot on the map, a town Jake now considered his home. Because of Caleb. Jake slid down the wall at his back and folded his hands against his face, his entire body buzzing with new life -- a feeling he wanted to share with the one person responsible for igniting it in him again. Caleb. Knowing he might not get that chance, he sought solace in

Krista once again, needing the tranquility she had brought to the restlessness in him so long ago. You wanted this, Sunshine; I can see now that you did. You kept me closed up and put me in that bar that night, grieving for you through drink, the way you knew I would. I don’t ever pick fights, and for the longest time, I didn’t know why I stirred up trouble and made a spectacle of myself in front of everybody that evening. You knew Caleb would walk in that door and rescue me, in more ways than one. You were looking for him to save my life, and he did. But now I need you to save his. You’ve given him to me, and I want him so badly. Don’t let God take him away from me now. Talk to Him for me. Make Him see that Caleb’s time isn’t done here yet; too many people in this town need him with them, loving them. Let him stay and love me. I won’t waste it, or throw it away. A whisper of a breeze brushed over the back of Jake’s neck, almost like the softest fingers against his flesh. Jake whipped his head up and looked around, searching for the body responsible for the touch. At the same moment, the swinging doors to the back area of the ER swooshed open, and a pair of doctors emerged in bloody scrubs. Everyone shot to his or her feet at once, but Connor took the fastest steps and reached the doctors first. “How is he?” Agony cut new lines into the man’s face, yet more proof that blood didn’t matter to these men; love made them family. “Please tell me my brother is okay.” “Mr. Hawkins, your brother is in recovery.” Jake covered his mouth, just barely holding his choked sob in check. Everyone in the room seemed to slump at the same time, finally releasing the collective breath they’d been holding since the doctors took Caleb away. Dr. Davis shook her head, her auburn bun slipping loose at the nape of her neck. “Although in truth, he is a miracle of nature that we cannot explain. This is Dr. Deveraux” -- she indicated the man next to her -“a hematologist from Billings. I called him in to consult and monitor your brother’s care.”

Connor’s gaze darted to Cain, then Jake. He clenched his jaw, opened his mouth, but before he spoke a word, Dr. Davis continued. “I have never seen or heard of anyone surviving the severe blood loss Caleb did. People have lost less and had to have limbs removed, yet your brother’s body managed to keep enough blood circulating, somehow, that our surgeon didn’t have to amputate. I don’t have an explanation for it, except to say that he is very fortunate, and must have had someone looking out for him tonight.” Jake closed his eyes, quaking in silence, fighting through more tears that wanted to fall. Krista. Thank you. Right then, Jake swore to God he felt the pressure of Krista’s tiny hand touch his chest, covering his heart. Chapter Twenty-Six

The Hawkinses sent everybody home from the hospital with their thanks, promising that, as soon as Caleb felt ready to have visitors, they would let everyone know. Jake had started to slink away too, thinking he would slip back in to see Caleb later, after the family left. Connor grabbed him before he could go, and very discreetly said, “Stay. He would want you here with him.” His heart pounding out of control, Jake looked to Cain, saw him nod, complete awareness in his eyes. Jake’s gaze came back to Connor, and saw he knew the truth of Jake and Caleb’s relationship also. Well, even if Connor hadn’t before, he would have figured it out when Jake threatened to shoot him back on the mountain. Didn’t look like new information to either man, though. It only took Jake about a second to figure it wouldn’t be. These three men shared a special bond, and what they didn’t talk about openly, one probably guessed about the other quickly enough.

Fighting a knee-jerk reaction to explain himself, and how he had come to have these powerful feelings for their brother -- when neither one of them was gay -- Jake merely dipped his head and followed them and their spouses into the recovery room. They pushed the limit of visitors, but nobody dared defy Connor Hawkins and tell the man he couldn’t have family surrounding his brother while he mended in post-op. Under a crisply tucked white sheet that rode his lower belly, Caleb lay in bed attached to various machines, the most important one showing a heartbeat, confirming for Jake that he still had Caleb with him on this earth. Gauze wrapped his torso all the way down to his stomach, where it disappeared beneath the covers. Jake didn’t have to see it to know Caleb’s hip and thigh would have the same kind of treatment, protecting those vicious cuts that marred his left side. Jake held back at the foot of the bed, even though everything in him ached to take Caleb’s hand in his and brush a kiss to his lips, making a promise that he would take care of Caleb, no matter what came at them next. A soft moan escaped the sleeping man, and Jake forgot all about his intentions to remain a fly on the wall. He pushed his way through to get to Caleb’s side and brushed his hand over Caleb’s inky hair, just as the man groaned and shifted into Jake’s touch, his eyes fluttering open, landing right on Jake. “You saved me.” Caleb’s voice scraped like tires over gravel, but the blue in his eyes shone bright with shocking clarity. “I owe you my life.” “No.” Jake shook his head, a shot of sharply focused love making his voice terribly thick. “Connor knew where to look. I didn’t know where to go.” “Huh-uh.” Caleb shifted and put his hand against Jake’s stomach, but winced and squeezed his fingers around the fabric there, wetness quickly filling his eyes. “They didn’t know I was coming home to you. Didn’t know you would come looking for me when I didn’t show. I didn’t want you to.” Caleb blinked hard several times before adding, “Didn’t want you to find me dead.” “No, honey, no.” Jake screwed the fact that he had an audience. He lowered his head and scraped a kiss against Caleb’s parched lips,

closing his eyes at the rush of emotion flowing through him for this one man. He lingered, needing the warmth of Caleb’s breath washing over him, crying for the closeness they’d so recently achieved. “I’ll always come looking for you. Never doubt that.”

Oh, Christ. Caleb was gonna get all weepy and say it again. I love you. In front of his brothers and everything too. He had always adamantly sworn he would never fall the way they both did. Damn. He would never live this down. His chest swelling with the hurt of feeling so damned much, Caleb opened his mouth to speak, but a shocking jolt of piercing pain in his hip had him gasping and clenching his teeth instead. Jake pulled back right away, his gaze intent on Caleb as everyone else in the room moved in close too. “What?” Unceremoniously, Jake pulled the sheet off Caleb and scanned his gaze up and down the length of Caleb’s body. “What is it? What hurts?” He reached for the nurses’ call button and pushed. Caleb turned his attention to Connor and Cain, his heart hammering wildly with the beginnings of panic, sending the line on the monitor into a series of fast spikes. “I don’t feel it.” By this point, in the normal healing process, Caleb could close his eyes and almost see his body fusing itself back together; the sensation extremely subtle, but precise, as if two sets of fingers held the broken pieces together, helping merge the flesh or bone quickly once again. “I’m not recovering the way I should.” “Honey” -- Jake took Caleb’s hand in his and rubbed it, his eyes indulgent, as if Caleb were a child -- “you just got out of surgery --” “No.” Caleb pulled his hand away. “You don’t understand.” He went back to his brothers, saw their eyes widen with awareness of what Caleb spoke. “It hurts. Everything. Terribly. Still. It shouldn’t.” Wait, where is he? With this level of fear rearing its ugly head, Caleb should feel the demon pushing to emerge. He should be telling it to fuck off and stuffing it back down inside, something he did so often he never even thought about it anymore.

Until just now, when he didn’t have to do it. “Connor?” Caleb sought his onetime protector, suddenly feeling exactly like the small child Jake had treated him like just moments ago. “I can’t find him.” Christ, he fought the urge to crawl under the shelter of Connor’s wing and hide from the bogeyman. “I don’t understand.” “I don’t either.” Connor’s lips thinned down to almost nothing, and Caleb knew it killed him not to have an immediate answer for one of his brothers. “What the hell happened out there?” “I…” The door swung open before Caleb could get a second word out, and a team of men and women in scrubs and lab coats entered, headed by a pretty redhead Caleb recognized as Dr. Davis and a tall, dark-haired man he didn’t recognize. “Good morning, Caleb. I’m glad to see you awake and alert.” Dr. Davis quickly took control of the room, and not even Connor’s loud protests kept him at Caleb’s side. “We need to check you over and run some more tests. We have a lot to discuss.” Jake paused at the door, catching Caleb’s gaze for a split second, before someone noticed he hadn’t left. He mouthed, It’ll be okay. I promise. One of the nurses spotted Jake and gave him the evil eye, forcing him out without another word. For the first time in their relationship, Jake’s words didn’t lighten Caleb’s heart. He had survived Gabriel and Cressida’s ritual. So where in the hell was his other half? ***** Ruby Boone chewed on her fingernails while sitting at the kitchen table, her eyes never leaving her brother Ty where he stood across the room, the old corded phone at his ear. She liked Caleb a lot, and after

Ty told her what happened to her friend, she started saying prayers that he wasn’t hurt as bad as people thought. Caleb always listened to her go on and on about the thousands of things she liked to do and learn about. He looked at her photographs, which weren’t that good, although Ren told her she was coming along very well. Heck, Caleb even came and saw one of her baseball games, and cheered almost as loud as Duke did when she hit a triple. Ruby really didn’t want anything to happen to Caleb, not one bit. She didn’t want anything to happen to Duke either. When he went out looking for the bad guys, like right now, she sometimes had nightmares that he wouldn’t come home to them. She often feared that Risa might die while riding her bulls, leaving Ruby and Ty alone again, the way they were after their real mom died. In Ruby’s head, she knew even if that happened, Ty was older now and could take care of them. Even if he couldn’t, they had Ren and Cade and Mrs. Pritchard and even the Hawkinses and Luke, who would look out for them. In her heart, though, she knew she needed Risa and Duke, or she wouldn’t be all right. She needed her mom and dad. “Okay, Ris, thanks for letting us know. Bye.” Ty hung up the phone and leaned a shoulder against the wall, turning his dark gaze to Ruby. “It looks like Caleb is going to be okay. She hasn’t seen him, but knows he’s stable, and the doctors feel confident that he’ll have a full recovery.” “Oh, thank goodness.” “Yeah, runt.” Ty moved to the table and tweaked her nose, earning himself a narrow-eyed stare. “Looks like you’ll be able to crush on the man for many years to come. Poor guy.” Ruby shot up and punched Ty in the arm as hard as she could. “Shut up. You don’t know anything about anything. At least he’s nice, which is why lots of girls like him.” She wrinkled her nose in disdain. “Unlike you.” “Whatever.”

Ruby restrained herself from smacking her brother again. He treated her like such a baby. “Listen,” Ty said, “I’ve got to get going, or I’m gonna be late for work. Risa says she’s going back to the ranch to help Hank and Ren organize the work for the day, but that she’ll be home soon. Ren reminded her to tell you you’re still on for your photography lesson this afternoon. Do you need anything before I go?” “Yeah.” Ty raised a brow. “What?” “A little respect for the fact that I’m fourteen, and nearly an adult.” Ruby lifted straight to her already considerable five-foot-eight inch height. “Stop calling me runt and treating me like a baby.” Ty shook his head and laughed. “Good luck with that. You’ll be thirty before Duke considers you grown up and stops thinking of you as his baby. You just watch. Gotta go.” Ruby followed Ty to the front door, where he paused to don his coat and hat. “I should be home for dinner. Bye.” Ruby wandered back into the kitchen, intent upon finding something good for breakfast. Maybe she could fry up some eggs and bacon and make some toast. Her friends all ate like birds already, nibbling on half an apple and a cup of dry cereal, and calling that a meal. Not Ruby. She had gone hungry for nearly a year after her mom died, when she and Ty ran away from home. She didn’t ever intend to worry about some stupid dress size cramping her love of food. As long as she could play baseball and run the bases without feeling winded, and ride a horse without her muscles cramping, she figured she was in good shape. Besides, Risa didn’t fit into single digit clothing, and Duke loved her to bits. He always grabbed her in his arms, kissing her and whispering in her ear. A guy like Caleb probably didn’t judge a woman so meanly either. Ruby knew she could never have Caleb; he already had some gray hairs and would be an old man before she grew up enough for him to notice her. But it was nice to think about kissing people. Made her feel all tingly, even if she didn’t like any of the boys her age. Maybe it

was because Duke was so much older than Risa. They seemed like such a perfect fit that it made Ruby think she wanted something more than just a regular boy. Ruby opened the fridge and pulled out the eggs, putting them on the counter so she could go back in for the bacon. Just as she grabbed the package, the scrape of the door hit her ears. Laughing, Ruby ran across the kitchen and peeked her head through to the living room, calling out, “What’d you forget this time, you big jerk?” The door creaked open the rest of the way, and Ruby squeaked, covering her mouth with both hands as her legs turned to jelly and her stomach hit the floor. Big, naked, and covered in blood and dirt, stood the dark-haired man that Ruby vaguely remembered Ren introducing to her one day when visiting him at Caleb’s place. Gabriel. Her little fingernails digging into her hands hard enough to cut skin, Ruby jerked her focus up, up, to pale hazel, almost green eyes that looked flat and dead, lacking any trace of humanity. He staggered, took a step in her direction, and life came rushing back to Ruby, putting her into action. She backed into the kitchen with incredible speed, putting one foot behind the other, employing the mobility drills they did during baseball practice. Eventually the lip of the counter jammed into her spine. Slowly, the man followed, moving almost like a zombie in one of those movies she wasn’t supposed to watch. Reaching back, she fingered the counter area, knowing just where she landed. “Don’t you dare get any closer!” She held out one hand in front of her body, warding him off, while her fingers scrambled, latching onto what she wanted. Wrapping her fingers around the heavy wood hold, Ruby whipped the first knife she felt out of the block holder and pointed it in Gabriel’s direction. She waved it at him, and then at the floor, thanking God that her hands stayed steady, while everything inside her raced fast enough for dizziness to wash over her. “Get down right now. Face down with your arms out wide where I can see your hands.”

“I…I…” Gabriel reached out to her, his hand covered in dried blood, his wrist mangled, a chunk missing from the outer edge. “Don’t touch me! I said get on the ground!” Both hands clutching the butt end of the blade, Ruby circled the man and backed up away from his proximity. “Do it. Now.” Gabriel went down on his knees, his crazy eyes on her as he linked his hands behind his head. “Please. Help me.” His voice didn’t sound so insane, only…broken. Kind of like Ty had sounded when he told her someone murdered their mom and they had to run. “I…I need the sheriff.” His hands started to slip from behind his head, so Ruby jabbed the knife in his direction once again. “Finish doing what I said,” she ordered. “Get down on the floor, and you’ll get your wish fast enough.” Gabriel complied this time, and Ruby quickly rifled one hand through a drawer, searching, while she kept the other with the knife trained on the naked man laying facedown on her floor. Coming up with the roll of duct tape Duke insisted on keeping in the kitchen, even though it drove Risa nuts, Ruby put the folded edge between her teeth and pulled, getting it started. “Put your hands behind your back nice and slow,” she ordered. “Touch your wrists to each other, palms facing out.” Again, Gabriel didn’t put up a fight. Turning his head to the side, facing her, he said, “Please. I don’t want to hurt you.” At that moment, he lulled Ruby, made her think he wasn’t physically capable of hurting a fly. “I want to turn myself in.” Then she remembered Caleb, her friend, and how this man had supposedly almost killed him. She stuck the edge of the tape to his wrist and secured him, ignoring the instinct to apologize when she taped over his injury. Tightly. She quickly trussed up his ankles too. Pushing back on her butt, out of his range, Ruby pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. The one she was only to use in emergencies. She didn’t think Duke would argue this one with her.

Ruby dialed his personal number, glaring at the man tied up on her kitchen floor. Someone who had hurt her friend. “I hope you go to prison for a long, long time.” Not so much as a flicker of fear shadowed that one pale hazel orb she could see. “It won’t get that far.” Snorting, Ruby said, “We’ll see.” Duke picked up her call. “What is it, sweet pea? Make it quick. I don’t have much time to talk right now.” Adrenaline hit Ruby hard, now that she knew she was safe. “Dad?” Her voice hitched, cracking like it did when she went through puberty two years ago. “What is it, baby? What’s wrong?” That one word, the name she had never called Duke before, sent him all the signals he needed that his child required his help. She hadn’t even done it on purpose. “I have the guy.” She held the phone tightly to her ear, speaking the words with a breathlessness she couldn’t control. “The one you’re looking for. I have him tied up on our kitchen floor.” The first tear leaked down her cheek. “Right now.” “Get out of the house right now, sweetheart.” Duke’s voice, so calm, settled the onset of her latent panic. “Go to the shed and lock yourself inside until I get there. He has a partner --” Gabriel shifted his head, his eyes finding hers. His gaze held hers, his pale one so full of pain she shivered. “She’s dead,” he said. How did he hear Duke? She shared with her dad. “He says she’s dead.” “I don’t care what he says to you, honey. I want you out of that house right now. I’m gonna hand the phone over to Cade, and he’s going to talk to you the entire time it takes for me and the team to get to you, you hear me? You won’t be alone in that shed.”

“Okay.” She heard the rumble of masculine voices, and then Cade’s familiar deep one came on the line. “Okay, ace, let’s get you moving. Are you out of the house yet?” “No.” Ruby’s legs, full of rubber, didn’t want to move. “I’m sorry.” She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. “I think I forgot how to walk.” “That’s okay, honey. It’s normal to feel afraid and have a reaction to it. You just keep trying, and when you feel your legs again, then you get out. In the meantime, we’ll just talk. You up for that?” She couldn’t take her eyes off Gabriel. Something about him filled her with the need to punch…and to cry too. She didn’t understand. “Ruby?” Cade said. “You still with me?” “Yeah.” “Okay. So, tell me about your final game of the season. I’m sorry I missed it. Give me a play-by-play through all six innings.”

That was how Duke found his daughter half an hour later. Curled up against the cabinet, describing her part in a final inning double play, her eyes riveted to a naked, dirty, attempted murderer on his kitchen floor. Livid didn’t even begin to describe Duke’s mood. ***** Caleb stared at his brothers and Jake, mute, unable to give answers to the questions he could read in their eyes. While he had been in with the doctors, Cassie and Luke had gone home to see to the respective needs of the children and businesses. The doctors could tell Caleb nothing, of course, except to marvel -- in a very professional way -- at the miracle of his survival.

Caleb’s gaze landed back on Jake, eating him with his eyes, unable to stop himself. Christ, Caleb didn’t know what would happen tomorrow; he might die or become some mutant that he couldn’t yet comprehend. Even knowing that, the air crackled between them, burning with thoughts they both knew they shared, without having to say a word. Hell, Caleb felt weaker than a day-old kitten, but if he could get his brothers out of this room, he would drag Jake onto the bed with him and figure out a way to get them naked. He would pull Jake down onto his cock and fill his hole, probably fucking spill inside him with a wicked, weepy shudder on the first full stroke. Caleb needed that. Maybe it would take away the mass of confusion and uncertainty that lived just beneath the surface right now. He couldn’t find the demon, and that swirled a constant tornado of crazy terror in him -- when he didn’t even fucking want the demon, if he had the choice. But the not knowing… Hell, that quaked through Caleb, making him shudder, visibly enough that Jake moved off the windowsill and came to the side of the bed. “What’s the matter, Caleb?” Jake rubbed Caleb’s arm, sending a new kind of shiver throughout his nerve endings. “Damn it, talk to us.” Right then, Duke burst into Caleb’s hospital room, snapping Caleb’s gaze off Jake. “You want to tell me what in the hell is going on?” Duke stormed the bed and loomed big over Caleb, looking like he didn’t even see anyone else in the room. “You want to tell me why in the hell Gabriel Banyon broke into my home to turn himself in, scared the shit out of my daughter, all because he just had to turn himself in for what he did to you, only to now not speak a damn word about it? If you tell me you don’t know exactly what the fuck is going on with this whole mess, Caleb Hawkins, I swear to God I’ll rip you out of this bed and beat the answer out of you until I hear something resembling the truth. Now start talking.” Stunned, Caleb opened his mouth, but could not make a single word come out. Chapter Twenty-Seven

Out of the corner of his eye, Caleb saw Cain and Connor move in on Duke. He grabbed Jake’s shirt and held him in place before he could move too. “No.” Caleb laid a hard stare on his brothers, and even though both of them clenched their jaws hard enough to creak, they held their hands up and took a step back. “Duke has a right to question me.” Caleb’s mind raced through everything Duke had said, removing the menacing tone so that he could process the words beneath. “Jesus Christ. Is Ruby okay?” That sweet kid didn’t deserve any more trauma in her young life. Duke squeezed one hand into a fist, and caressed the butt of his holstered gun with the other. “The bastard didn’t hurt her physically, if that’s what you mean.” “Thank God.” “Thank God is right,” Duke said, his gaze burning gold. “If he had, I would have ended his life right there in my kitchen, and then I would have seriously considered coming here and finishing you off too. Now fill me in on the goddamned pieces of the puzzle I’m missing here, Caleb. I know you know more than you’re saying; I can see it in your eyes. Tell me why I have a willing prisoner who has suddenly gone mute on me. And where in the hell is his woman, because I don’t for one second believe his word that she’s dead.” So, she didn’t have his demon either. Shit. “She’s dead, Sheriff. I saw them together, and you can bet he would not have turned himself in if she were still alive.” “She had four bullets in her,” Jake offered, putting a piercing stare on Duke that never wavered. “She charged at Caleb after we found them, after we told her not to move. I shot her to stop her --” “He shot her twice,” Connor interrupted, his big arms crossed against his chest. “I fired the other two. I don’t know if they were fatal hits, but I can live with it if they were.” “Since I don’t have a body yet, I’m not going to act on what I just heard out of the two of you.” Duke turned back to Caleb. “What

happened to you up there? Why were they draining your blood? I don’t like being in the dark about my town. I can’t protect against what I don’t know. And you can damn well bet that when my family gets dragged into shit that stinks to high heaven, I’m going to ride asses until I hit the truth.” Christ, Caleb didn’t want to hide or lie to a man he considered a good friend. It exhausted him to constantly shield a part of himself from the town he lived in and loved. Problem was, for the first time in his life, he didn’t know the truth anymore. He needed his own answers first. Looking to his brothers, Caleb sent them a silent message, asking only one question with his eyes. Can I reveal our past? They all exchanged glances. Then Cain nodded. A long heartbeat later, Connor followed suit. “Can you take me to Gabriel?” Caleb held up an arm, gasping as he lifted the wrong one and it pulled wickedly at all the stitches running down his left side. “I want to tell you everything, Duke, but until I have some questions answered for myself, I can’t do it. I think if it’s just the two of us, Gabriel will talk to me. After I talk to him, no matter what he gives me, I’ll tell you everything I know. I swear on my life I will.” Duke pursed his lips, his granite hard face chillingly cold as he stood there and weighed his options. “I want full disclosure afterward. I don’t care how small or insignificant you think the detail. I want it. You hear me?” “Of course.” Duke pulled out his cell phone, but paused before punching in any numbers. His gaze drilled a hole right through Caleb, between his eyes, without apology. “I’m putting my trust in our friendship, and in the respect you have for my wife. Don’t trample on that. You won’t like me, or what I do, if I find out that you have.” With that, Duke hit one button and put the phone to his ear. “Sarah? Let me talk to Jace.” A ten-second silence followed, and then, “Cuff

Gabriel and escort him back to the hospital. Do it quietly, and bring him to Caleb Hawkins’s room.” Duke flipped the phone closed and slid it back into the holder on his utility belt. Meeting Caleb’s gaze, he said, “Deputy Maxwell will have him here in fifteen.” Tense, hurting…and terribly frightened in a way Caleb had never dealt with before, he sat in his hospital bed tight as a knot, and waited. ***** His hands cuffed behind his back and looped through the handrail bolted into the wall, his legs manacled tightly to each other at the ankles, Gabriel stood stiff and silent across the hospital room. Caleb tried to find some hint of remorse in his vacant eyes, but the man just looked…gone. “Why have you done this?” Caleb finally asked. He had so many questions running through him that he didn’t know how to organize himself for efficiency. A detached kind of curiosity ruled him, adding to the sense that he didn’t know himself or his body anymore. “Why did you turn yourself in? You have to know that powers bigger than the both of us will come for you when your blood anomalies are brought to the attention of the right people.” Moreover, where has my freak of nature genetic makeup gone? Why hasn’t someone come to take me away? Panicked emotion slipped back in quickly. Caleb forced calm into his voice, when his mind screamed for answers. All at once. Right now. “You’ve written a check for your future with this choice. You’ll become a lab rat, an experiment to prod and cut until all you want is the sweet release of death.” A flicker of light stole over Gabriel’s eyes just then, but dampened and reverted back to flat indifference in a flash. “Son of a bitch.” Caleb whistled low, his spine pressing into his pillow. “That’s what you want. You want the government to snatch you up and dissect you six ways from Tuesday, always knowing that you’ll suffer unbearably, but they wouldn’t dare let you die.” “I deserve it.” Words and passion suddenly sprang out of Gabriel, his cuffs clinking against metal when he attempted to move his arms. He looked at Caleb, and Caleb swore to God the wave of hatred that

emanated off Gabriel consumed the room, heating and thickening the air. Rage Gabriel directed inward, at himself; Caleb could read it like looking in a mirror. “I had only a few simple tasks. Get close enough to you to know your routine and habits, to make sure you were still demon, and then to get that blood out of you on the night of the blood moon. She needed me. She needed me to save her.” His eyes wild now, nothing in Gabriel bespoke emotional death. “But I screwed it up. My first damn time doing it when it mattered, and I let her down. I killed her as good as if I’d put those bullets in her myself.” What the fuck? “What does that mean? When it mattered?” “I watched last time. Cressida and I fell in love, and she wanted me to become her new protector. I had to know what to do.” Gabriel’s chiseled cheekbones stood out in prominence against his pale face and black hair. “I thought I learned well. And now she’s dead.” “Why aren’t I dead too? Why haven’t the scientists come for me yet?” Caleb lived in a constant state of tension, heightening every time the hospital room door opened. Only, other than an elevated white cell count Dr. Davis and Dr. Deveraux wanted to monitor, neither mentioned or questioned anything else about his blood. Caleb wanted to jump out of the bed, grab Gabriel by his T-shirt, and slam him up against the wall to demand some answers. He couldn’t, though. Not because he didn’t want to, or because he feared Duke storming in and yanking him off, but because weakness ruled him, and he didn’t have the strength to do it. Because he couldn’t find the demon inside him anymore. Caleb twisted his hands in the bedsheets, pulling hard enough to hear the riippp of them tear under his fingers. “Where is the goddamned demon your woman needed so badly from me? Because he’s not inside me anymore, Gabriel, and you’re fucking telling me that he’s not in Cressida either. So where is he? What happened to him?” “Don’t know.” The absolute unassuming way the man shrugged his shoulders said more than his words. Gabriel didn’t care about anything enough anymore to fabricate a lie. “In the ground, where the majority of your blood ended up going. She needs to chant the words

etched into that sacred knife, and drain and drink your blood in order for the ritual to be successful, so the blood must be where the demon spirit lives when Cressida begins to chant, and the letting starts. I don’t think you can get him back.” I don’t want him back! At the same time, Caleb couldn’t live with this uncertainty, never knowing for sure if the bastard might pop back into his body and torment him all over again. How could he let Jake think they might have a normal future together, and then tear the man apart if the demon came back? And what about when the men in black came for Gabriel, for they surely would. Would they look at the miracle of Caleb, and figure out the rest? Would they take him too? Please, God, no. A brief, sharp knock sounded at the door, and Duke reentered the room with the equally tall Deputy Jace Maxwell right behind him. “Time’s up,” Duke stated. Caleb didn’t bother to argue with him. Gabriel couldn’t tell him anything more than what he already had. Jace went to Gabriel and uncuffed one wrist long enough to separate the apathetic man from the handrail and secure his hands behind his back once again. Caleb watched Jace lead the young Saprykyn out, and a strange pull tugged at his chest for the future he had chosen for himself. He invited experimentation on his body for the rest of his days, all over the grief, guilt, and loss of that one woman. You would do the same thing if you lost Jake, and felt responsible for it happening. Yeah, in the throes of searing pain at his loss, Caleb would react the same. Only, Caleb had his brothers to pull him in from the brink. Therein lay the difference. “Do you have anyone else?” Caleb abruptly asked, drawing Jace to a halt one step away from vacating the room. Gabriel didn’t look up at him, but his shoulders stiffened, so Caleb knew he heard. “A parent, a sibling, a friend from your other life, someone who would want to be told about your choice?” About why you’re going to disappear forever. “No.” His head still turned down, Gabriel didn’t look up again. “No one.”

Jace ushered Gabriel out of the room. As soon as he did, Jake, Connor, and Cain returned. This time, they had Cassie and Luke with them too. Ahh, reinforcements. “So” -- Duke didn’t waste a minute shutting the door and getting right in Caleb’s face -- “start talking.” Caleb did. ***** Duke paced, his hands buried deeply in his dark hair. He moved along the perimeter of the room, scanning faces from left to right, starting with Cassie, and moving on to Connor, Cain, Luke, before ending with Jake, who had taken up a position on the windowsill. He came back to Caleb, linked his hands at the back of his neck and cocked an eyebrow, the picture of disbelief. “So you’re telling me the man I have locked up in my jail is some kind of mystical, shapeshifting cat, and his woman was a demon, which you could smell, because coincidentally you and your brothers all used to be demon as well. This female demon needed your blood because she had lived beyond the natural five hundred year span of her life? Is that what you want me to believe?” “You don’t have to believe it,” Caleb answered. “But it is the truth.” Duke spun on the rest of the group. “And you all would tell me the exact same story Caleb just did, and do it with a straight face.” Everyone nodded, but Jake pushed up from the sill and took a step toward Duke. “I’m new to this information, Sheriff, just like you, so I understand where you’re coming from. But I have seen it with my own two eyes. I was there when that woman put two bullets in Caleb.” Caleb had finally confessed to that first attempt on his life, along with everything else. “I wanted to take him to the hospital, and he had to show me what he was in order to make me take him home instead. I watched how quickly he healed from those wounds, so I can attest to the truth he speaks. Now I can’t say anything for sure about Connor and Cain, except that Caleb has told me the same things about them as

he just did to you. I believe his word, and I believe in the honesty of this family, so I have no reason to doubt what they say.” “I have seen Connor and Cain in demon form,” Cassie added. Her shoulders lifted up straight, and her eyes lit up with a smile. “And you’ve seen Connor, but just didn’t know it. Mavis Pritchard’s annual Halloween party; I’m almost positive you were there, hiding out in the corner and upsetting all the women who wanted to dance with you. It was the year before Connor and I got married. I was wearing a white, Grecian-style dress --” “Way too revealing,” Connor muttered. “Not the point, honey.” Cassie didn’t miss a beat. “Anyway, Connor was there too. In makeup. At least, what you thought was makeup.” She shot a quick glare at her husband. “I did too, at the time. But it wasn’t. That was Connor in his former Dastetier demon body.” Caleb watched Duke work back through the years in his mind to try and place Cassie’s tale. As it looked like he might have placed the picture, Cain added, “And remember when MacLesten had Risa in the line shack, spewing his hatred for Luke? Do you remember when he said that thing about Luke siccing an angel from hell on him to terrify and avenge Luke for what MacLesten had done to him?” Immediate awareness shone in Duke’s gaze right then. “Yeah. I remember him talking a lot of crazy shit that morning.” “That part wasn’t insanity,” Cain shared. “I intimidated MacLesten one night in my demon form, for what he did to Luke. When he spoke of the angel, he meant me. When I was Naverto, I had wings.” “But you can’t show me this demon,” Duke said, “because you’re human now.” “Correct.” “And how exactly does that happen?” “A terrible ritual. I’d rather not speak about it.” The blue in Cain’s gaze filled with shadows. Immediately, Luke took his hand and

brought it to his lips. Within moments, the darkness in Cain’s eyes went away. “Jesus,” Duke muttered, “Sheriff Havers never told me I’d inherit crazy shit like this when I took over the job.” Duke rounded back onto Caleb, biting a string of curses through tight lips. “Be straight with me, Caleb. How confident are you that this Cressida woman is dead? Assure me in a way I can believe that I don’t have a she-devil killer hiding out in my mountains.” “You didn’t see that kid’s eyes when he looked at that woman. I did.” Caleb couldn’t help that his gaze shifted to Jake right then, or the fact that he couldn’t tear it away as he finished. “Gabriel was beyond in love with Cressida. You could tell that she was his world. If she still had a breath left in her body, he would be with her trying to save her, not sitting in your jail waiting for the suits to grab him up as their next science project.” “How can you be so certain of his fate?” Duke asked, his voice softening, the strident tone gone. “Rumors.” Caleb shuddered. He saw an equal shiver hit Cain, and a fast jerk rock Connor. “Doesn’t take a genius. Enough stories have come to light about past atrocities done to fellow humans by the government, all in the name of science. It’s not too much of a stretch to believe they would do a million times worse to something they believe is fundamentally an animal. There is a branch that looks out for red-flagged oddities, like what will show itself when Gabriel’s blood work passes through the right computer program. You had his wrist treated here after you found him, right?” “An ER doc patched him up where needed, yes.” “Then it’s already in motion.” Christ, the man had nearly succeeded in ending Caleb’s life, but Caleb couldn’t combat the heaviness that sat on his chest, weighing him under. “It’s only a matter of time.” “Do I have to worry about you?” Duke asked, concern scraping at his voice. “I still owe you for helping me get Risa back. I don’t want to get a call one day that you disappeared.” His focus lifted to Connor and Cain. “Do I need to look the other way while you get your brother

out of here and hide him? His survival story will pique the interest and chatter of the medical community. You can bet he will have to field a lot of requests for interviews. Might make these government types that you’re so certain will take Gabriel consider a second look at Caleb too.” “I’ve done nothing but think about that all day and night,” Connor answered, shocking Caleb’s gaze to his. Everyone else too, by the looks of their stares. “About where I could send him in order to keep him safe. Only, here’s the thing I came up with: nobody but us knows why Gabriel did what he did. Without Cressida as the component that links Gabriel’s bloodletting of Caleb, he simply looks imbalanced and in need of mental care. From what I have just heard Caleb share with us about Gabriel’s demeanor, and the way you say he has behaved with your men, I’d be surprised if Gabriel speaks one word to anyone in the foreseeable future. What would be the point?” “So then you think Caleb is safe?” “I think I want my brother near to his family, and if he feels comfortable staying, then that is what will happen.” In unison, six heads turned Caleb’s way, dozens of questions in their eyes. Caleb only had one answer right now. It was the one everyone needed. “I want to stay.” Now that he said it, he didn’t know how to meet one person’s eyes. Jake’s. He felt the power of the man’s stare blaze a laser line right through the top of his downturned head. Caleb forced himself to add, “We’ll deal with the rest after I get better.” On the inside though, Caleb had to wonder: what did better mean anymore? Would he ever feel right again?

Chapter Twenty-Eight

“I got word today,” Duke said. He stood on the porch of Caleb’s home with Caleb and Jake at his side. His voice deceptively subdued, he waved his hand at Risa, where she walked toward them from the stock barn. Jake marveled that the man never gave away a single indication that he did anything more than shoot the breeze. “The DA in Billings called to inform me that I didn’t have to worry about clearing my schedule for a hearing. He said federal agents took custody of Gabriel, only sharing that the case they had pending against him took priority over our state charges. My buddy pitched a fit, but these guys simply handed him a card and said to take his complaint to a higher-up. One phone call later, and Gabriel is gone.” “They got him.” Caleb’s voice registered as little more than a whisper. Jake could hear the sorrow he wouldn’t speak of with Jake. With anybody, damn it. “I would say so,” Duke replied. “I think that also means you’re in the clear, though. If they figured you had something inhuman about you, my guess is they would have snatched you at the same time, with as flimsy an excuse. My friend says they weren’t exactly subtle about taking what they wanted without playing nice. If they had wanted you, you would already be gone.” Jake wanted to grab Caleb in his arms, but the man’s behavior in the past three weeks -- not to mention that nobody other than Caleb’s family knew about their relationship -- kept Jake’s hands to himself. Fidgety, and doing a hell of a lot of “work” at his two brothers’ places, Caleb’s silent withdrawal had Jake working longer and harder too, so that he didn’t have to face the change in Caleb. Didn’t have to feel it. The hurt. The subtle rejection. Jake understood Caleb having new fears and insecurities now, and he had forcibly kept his hands off the man during his recovery process, a fear of hurting Caleb only one of the reasons Jake didn’t push for renewed intimacy. As for the other, Jake knew that for Caleb, living in a body that had to heal in real time frustrated him immensely. They

still shared a bed, but they didn’t touch, and had not resumed the good-bye kisses that Jake had loved so much that morning in the kitchen, before everything went to hell. Hadn’t kissed, period, since Jake had done it in the hospital upon Caleb opening his eyes. He missed the man, felt a million miles away from him even though they stood side by side. Jake wished he knew what in the hell to do about it. Risa tore up the steps and threw herself into Duke’s arms, snapping Jake out of his morose mood. Duke caught the tall, solid woman up against his chest, growling with obvious pleasure before kissing her breathless. She let him do it for a damn long stretch of time too, before squealing and tugging a fist of his hair in her hand. Duke moaned, but did let Risa go, slowly sliding her down his front until her boots hit the porch. “Is everything okay?” Risa asked, her eyes rounding as she looked at Duke. She turned to include Caleb and Jake, and then sent her gaze back to her husband. “Or do I warrant a ride home today for some special reason?” Duke locked his arms around Risa’s waist and tugged her close. Pressing a kiss to her temple, he mock whispered, “When we talked this morning, you said Hank was going to take a look at your transmission tonight when he got some free time, remember?” “Oh, well, I didn’t mean you had to come pick me up. I could have bummed a ride home from Ren.” Risa fiddled with the collar of Duke’s jacket in a way Jake envied. Damn, he missed touching Caleb too. Until he lost it, Jake didn’t know how much he would ache for Caleb to touch him again either. Intimately. Oh so intimately. “But that was awfully nice of you to remember.” Furrowing her brow, Risa said, “What do you want later on, that you’re trying to sweeten my answer right now by being all Husband of the Year-like?” “Hell, sweetheart --” Duke started tugging Risa toward the steps. “Can’t a man do a nice thing for his woman without suspicion?” Angling his head, Duke called back, “Caleb, Jake, have a good night.”

“See you in the morning,” Risa added. She then went right back to her husband. “So, you’re saying I’m gonna have to browbeat you until you finally give it up.” Their voices trailed off, but Jake swore he heard Duke reply with, “Hit me with your best shot, honey. You know I love it when you get all hot and bothered trying to figure me out.” Jake guessed he heard Duke’s comment right when Caleb chuckled too. Both men waited until Duke and Risa drove away, waving one last time before going inside the house. Shaking his head, Caleb looked over his shoulder at Jake as he moved to the office, pausing by the couch to remove his coat. “Twenty bucks says Duke doesn’t want to butter Risa up about anything. He just likes to rile her up.” Jake nodded and followed, slipping his heavy jacket off too. “Another twenty says Risa knows exactly what Duke is trying to start, and plays into his game because she knows it turns him on.” “I think you’re right.” Caleb went around the desk to the seat Jake had started to think of as his, so Jake stalled at the foot of the desk and fiddled his fingers over a cup of pens. Jake stared, hunger for what he had grown so quickly accustomed to doing with this man filling his libido, and making his heart hurt. After watching Caleb almost obsessively since his release from the hospital, Jake knew that other than an occasional hitch in his step on his left side, he appeared otherwise almost completely recovered from his injuries. Jake didn’t want to reinjure Caleb, but at the same time, the overwhelming pull to connect with him again, to try and ease some of the imbalance in his new life and body, reached a point where Jake felt twisted up so tightly he thought he might break in two. “How are you feeling?” Jake’s question snapped Caleb’s gaze up to his. Blue eyes darted back down to the pile of files stacked neatly on the blotter, and then to the window, as if he could see something through the slant of the blinds, before finally coming back to Jake. “Physically, I mean,” Jake added. “I see you going to scratch your

scars sometimes, and then pull your hand back. Is the vitamin E cream not working?” “Everything is fine.” Caleb’s hand automatically went to his waist. He jerked it back quickly and put it on the desk, almost as if he didn’t want Jake to see him struggle. “It’s just weird, that’s all. I think I keep touching them because it’s odd to feel them healing in these prolonged stages that I’m not used to having to work through. I’m adjusting. I’ll get there.” “I’m not judging you,” Jake said quickly. “I was just…” Worried because I love you so much. “…concerned.” God, why can’t I say it? Jake answered his own question. Because Caleb hasn’t said it since the accident. “There’s no need to worry.” Caleb flipped open the file on top of the pile. Jake’s pile. Jake’s desk. Jake’s work. “I’m fine.” No need to worry? Goddamn it, Jake couldn’t go five minutes in his day without thinking about Caleb, wondering and worrying about where he had gone off to work that day. Any place that took him from Jake’s side. He fucking couldn’t take it anymore. “Then make love to me,” Jake whispered, his heart in his throat, rubbing his voice raw. Caleb shot out of the chair and rounded the desk. “What?” Defensive, terrified that Caleb would have yet another reason to escape Jake’s presence, Jake practically snarled his next words. “You heard me.” He yanked his shirt out of his jeans, tore the snaps apart, and shrugged it off his shoulders. He went for his belt next. “I’ve spent three weeks buttoning my lips and keeping my hands knotted behind my back, not knowing the right thing to say or do with you, to you. We spent most of our time before Gabriel hurt you fucking each other and sharing a roof, and now you have the nerve to tell me that there’s no need for me to bother worrying about you.” “I didn’t say --”

“Well, screw you, Hawkins.” Jake teetered precariously as he struggled to pull off his boots. He shoved his jeans and underwear down and off next. If Caleb even dared to crack a smile right now, Jake would slug him one right in the mouth. “I’ll worry if I fucking want to worry. I don’t like to do it, but I can’t seem to help myself lately where you’re conc --” Caleb grabbed Jake’s head and smashed a kiss on his lips, stealing the rest of Jake’s rant right out of his mouth. Jake moaned and pressed into Caleb, slanting his lips across the other man’s for a deeper taking, melting against the solid wall of Caleb’s warmth. Caleb slid his hands down Jake’s shoulders and arms, foregoing a lingering caress for a hard clutch of his fingers on Jake’s bare hips that had Jake crying out with the bruising touch. “Oh, God, yes. Tell me you’re recovered.” Jake dug his hands between their bodies and fumbled with Caleb’s belt. “Fuck me. Make me believe that you’re all right.” Panting, Caleb poured hot breath over Jake’s face. “I want you too.” His gaze blazing with blue fire, Caleb ripped his shirt off while Jake took care of Caleb’s socks and boots. Caleb tunneled his fingers through Jake’s hair and tipped up his face until their eyes met. “I’ve hated this goddamned body that wouldn’t mend fast enough.” Boots and socks removed, Jake listened as he tugged down Caleb’s jeans and underwear. His gaze immediately went to the thickest scar on Caleb’s body, the puckered one that cut across his left hip. “I sleep more than I used to. Until I feel stronger, I can’t work the way I want… Ohhh…” Aching for this man he somehow loved, Jake brushed his lips across the angry scar on Caleb’s hip, making Caleb pause midsentence with a gasp. “Goddamnit, baby. You don’t have to do that.” “Want to.” Jake pressed feather-light kisses over the ridged length, the rougher skin scraping the tip of his tongue, connecting him to the damage Caleb suffered in a new way. “Don’t want you to hurt.” He licked his way up to another line of scar tissue, and repeated the process.

“I’m such a bastard.” Even as Caleb said it, he pushed Jake’s head to the next injury and held it there with a digging grip, as if he believed Jake would go away unless he tied him to his body with force. “You’re so good to me.” Caleb pushed harder, and Jake just made the sweeps of his tongue and kisses across the next line of raised tissue more deliberate, sucked harder, desperate for Caleb to feel the touch and know Jake meant it only for him. Pulling, Caleb tore Jake’s mouth away and put their faces so close their foreheads touched. His voice textured rough, he said, “I don’t deserve you, but I’ll take you anyway, until you tell me to go away.” Jake cupped Caleb’s neck, forcing the hold against the struggle cording the muscles in Caleb’s neck. “That won’t ever happen.” “You don’t know…” Caleb shook his head, his eyes wild. “I want you so much.” He tore out of Jake’s hold, dropped to his knees, and took half of Jake’s dick deep into his mouth. Jake’s knees almost buckled. He had gone six years without any touch on his body except for his own hands, and now three weeks without a blowjob from Caleb had Jake gritting his teeth through the first wave of intoxicating pleasure. The man had a wicked mouth, and God, he knew how to suck cock. He liked to go right for the full mouth of meat, pushing himself until he accepted almost every inch of Jake past his lips. He pulled off quickly with a long, suctioning drag and then licked in a circle around the tip, teasing Jake’s sensitive head, working ever inward like a man would with a woman’s engorged nipple, until he finally swept across the slit, sending shivering lines of pleasure straight through every nerve ending in Jake’s being. Caleb wrapped his hands around the backs of Jake’s thighs and opened up for more, sliding the flat of his tongue down the length of Jake’s prick the entire way. Jake reached back, covering his hands over Caleb’s, squeezing their rough texture as he fought through everything Caleb did to him. “Slow down, slow down.” Biting his lip, Jake groaned low in his throat when Caleb pressed Jake’s cockhead up against the roof of his mouth, and tongued the patch right below. “I don’t want to come so fast.”

Caleb seemed a man possessed, though, and he started working Jake’s erection with deep, fast strokes, bobbing his head up and down the length of Jake’s shaft. Incoherent little noises escaped him, rumbling vibrations over Jake’s member. Damn it, Jake had never witnessed anything hotter than his cock fucking Caleb, no matter the opening. His nuts started to tingle in overdrive, and he knew, in only a matter of seconds, it would be over for him. Desperate for everything, Jake shoved Caleb’s hand between his thighs from behind and curled them around his balls. “Play with me…oh yeah” -- Caleb latched onto Jake’s semen-filled testicles, rolled and pulled them with his fingers, almost rough to the point of painful, sending Jake soaring high -- “fucking just like that.” Jake could offer no warning for Caleb to pull away. Right then, he exploded in Caleb’s mouth, his cock throbbing a frantic staccato heartbeat of its own as he released, forcing a long stream of ejaculate down Caleb’s throat. The damn orgasm took Jake over so powerfully he shuddered through the entire thing. Jake released his death grip on Caleb’s hands between his legs, and at the same time, his prick slid free from its temporary cocoon. He shivered at the chill that swept over him, but before he could miss Caleb’s touch, those warm lips that Jake fantasized about so much grazed across his lower belly, dipping into his navel for a little swirling lick and tease. After playing there for too short a time, Caleb ascended the line of hair that bisected Jake’s stomach, dampening the soft stuff with the flat of his tongue. God, the guy’s mouth, lips, and tongue were created for loving. Jake could lie back and let Caleb map every inch of his body, and never tire of the intensity and focus that gripped Caleb’s face, that shone in his eyes, and that seemed to flow through every inch of him -- and then straight into the person he chose to lavish with his attention. Caleb’s lips grazed the line of Jake’s pectoral muscles, just the slightest hint of his tongue poking out, leaving a sheen of saliva in his wake. After circling under Jake’s armpit and up over his breastbone, Caleb rained a line of kisses up to Jake’s Adam’s apple, where he nibbled, and Jake nearly screamed. His nipples were so damn twisted and hard with anticipation that he thought they might break off with one good hit.

Jake growled instead of shouting, and sank his fingers into Caleb’s hair. “You’re a fucking cock-tease, Hawkins, you know that?” His gaze playing somewhere between sultry and sleepy, Caleb offered a ghost of a smile. “Oh. Did I miss something?” He delved between them and rubbed his hand down the length of Jake’s now flaccid penis. “I thought I took care of your cock. Feels like I did.” Bastard. He would realize soon enough that forty-year-old dicks couldn’t recover in five minutes flat. Jake twisted his fingers in Caleb’s hair and pulled the man in, biting at his lips hard enough to make it sting, loving the little jerk he felt rock through Caleb. Caleb’s gaze narrowed, and the blue in his eyes darkened, making him look downright dangerous. Jake gasped at the dark beauty, and suddenly they had their lips fused together, eating each other’s cries, licking deep, past the point of tangling to outright dueling for position and dominance. The warm, pungent taste of salty cum attacked Jake’s taste buds, so powerfully he had the vaguest hint that he could smell it seeping through Caleb’s pores too. Jake attacked with almost violent kisses, the proof of their connection filling his head, leaving him aggressive and dizzy with lust. With nowhere left open to breathe, Jake groaned and ripped himself away, but stayed close, their gazes and breathing tying them to each other as strongly as their mouths had done seconds ago. He let up his grip on Caleb’s hair, and his fingers drifted down, flickering over the sexy slant of Caleb’s cheekbones, down to play at the edges of his mouth. “I love when I can taste myself in your mouth,” Jake said, fascinated by every inch of Caleb’s face. So much so, he could not break his gaze from it. Caleb dipped his tongue out and licked the pad of one of Jake’s fingers. “I love having it there.” More sparks flashed in Caleb’s pure blue gaze. Before Jake could interpret the frisson of awareness that rippled up his spine, Caleb spun Jake around and bent him over the desk, his arm and Jake’s body knocking everything but the computer over the edges. “I want to taste other parts of you too.” He lifted Jake’s right leg up onto the desk. The smooth surface of the wood

against Jake’s inner thigh cooled his flesh where it rested flat against the surface and drew out a sudden shiver. Or maybe Jake shook over the fact that, out of his peripheral vision, he saw Caleb go down on his knees again, and could feel Caleb’s warm breath this close to his backdoor. Frantically, he reached over the edge of the desk and started pulling at drawers, knowing they had lube in one of them somewhere. Scrambling his fingers around, Jake finally touched over the squishy plastic container, and reached back to hand it to Caleb. “Wait, wait. Here’s the stuff.” Fuck. Why did having Caleb’s face so close to his asshole elicit such nervous fear in Jake? “Thanks.” Their fingers entwined for a moment as Caleb took the lube. “I’ll need that…in a minute.” Jake closed his eyes, his heart rate kicking up into crazy overdrive as the exchange happened. Caleb hooked his thumbs in Jake’s crease, pried him open, and licked over his pulsing sphincter. Jake dug his forehead into the wood beneath his face and put a choke hold on the lip of the desk with his fingertips, fighting the visual of Caleb down on his knees nibbling at Jake’s tight ring from behind. He didn’t live in a vacuum; he knew this existed in the world of sexual play, but Jake never imagined anyone would want to do it to him. Now Jake knew why. Deep down, he knew he would like it, too damned much. “Oh God, Caleb. Damn it.” Jake pushed back on Caleb’s flickering tongue, the whisper of his touch drawing a groan from Jake every time the tip poked straight at his entrance. Each striation that created the starburst pattern around his pucker quivered for more. “I can’t believe you’re doing that to me.” He knew it might freak Caleb out, but Jake couldn’t help circling his hips backward and rubbing himself in Caleb’s face. “It feels so fucking good.” “Damn it, I can’t get inside. Hold on for a sec.” The cap on the lube clicked loudly as it opened, drawing in a deep breath of anticipation from Jake. Within seconds, the cool substance coated his crack, and he felt the insistent pressure of a firmer touch against his anus.

Caleb’s fingers. The gliding sensation of callused fingertips slid over the smooth patch of his perineum at the same time, holding there as Caleb’s digits penetrated Jake’s asshole. Wondrous sensation choked him, the small discomfort no competition for the pleasure Caleb pulled out of him. Caleb went right for the bump and rubbed on it both sides, and Jake would have cried if he could take even one bit of his focus away from how Caleb wrung such delight out of his ass. Caleb kept the invasion shallow, but quickly worked in a second finger and started corkscrewing within Jake’s channel. “Oh, God, man” -- Jake wheezed through the tender havoc Caleb wreaked on his nerve-rich sweet spot and chute -- “you have such a natural instinct for this stuff.” “Not for this.” Caleb pulled back and scissored his fingers a little bit, making Jake gasp at the stretching of his ring. Slowly, he breathed through the sting of a burn, rather than any real hurt. He wondered if he just craved this mating so damned badly with Caleb that he convinced himself it felt good. “For you.” Caleb pulled his fingers out right then and shoved his tongue in Jake’s ass, and suddenly Jake didn’t care why the man was good at foreplay, just that he was. “Ahh!” The shock of the intimate act, of Caleb’s desire to know him in this way, hurled Jake right over the edge to a place of pure awakening. Nothing felt wrong with Caleb sexually anymore. Nothing that he wanted to do to Caleb -- or have Caleb do to him -- went through a filter of hesitation any longer. On this desk, with Caleb licking the perimeter of Jake’s wide open ass and then foraging inside, treating that part of Jake like another pair of open lips that he kissed, had Jake alternating between pumping back for more, and shockingly, ramming his hips against the desk and smearing his leaking cockhead against the wood. Caleb ate Jake inside out, sucking at his backdoor with his magical lips, and then tonguing Jake all up and down his crack, teasing Jake mercilessly before finally slipping that dexterous, nubby tongue back inside his pulsing entrance for another deep thrust and lick. Jake panted through the bone-deep physical joy Caleb dragged out of him, and tilted his hips and ass up for more.

Jake wanted everything this man could do to him. As much as he loved what Caleb did right now, it wasn’t enough. “Fuck me, Caleb.” Sprawled across the width of the executive-sized desk, with one leg folded up and the other dangling over the edge, Jake didn’t think he could offer any more open an invitation than what he must look like to Caleb right now. “God, baby, I can’t believe how much I want your cock inside me.” The rumble of a moan hit Jake’s ears as Caleb pulled his face out of Caleb’s crease and pressed one fast kiss to the cleft of Jake’s ass. “Don’t say shit like that, or you’ll make me come.” Caleb covered Jake, bracing his hand beside one of Jake’s and tucking his face against Jake’s shoulder. Wiping his cheeks and mouth on Jake’s flesh, the slick feel of lube transferred from Caleb’s mouth and chin to Jake’s neck. Caleb worked his arm between their bodies and fit his penis against Jake’s gaping hole. The first few inches slipped right inside. Jake groaned at the beginnings of penetration, but his teased, tormented channel ached for more. “Don’t stop.” He crushed his fingers into the wood, preparing to accept Caleb’s erection. “Push it in all the way. Oh, yes” -- with agonizing slowness, Caleb filled Jake’s milking, begging chute -- “take me. Take it all.” Caleb shifted and planted his free hand on the desk too, and tucked into position between Jake’s thighs. He flexed his hips, sending a shiver of pleasure through the small glide within Jake’s tunnel, and started to move. Both men grunted at the first full pullout, but waited breathlessly for Caleb to sink back in, to the hilt. Right away Caleb started pumping faster, delighting the walls of Jake’s channel and thickening his cock even more. Damn it. The things this man had the power to do to him. Jake fought back a pussy sob, and tried to thrust his hips up against Caleb’s impaling cock. “Harder. Fuck me harder.” His heart pounding so loudly he almost couldn’t hear himself, Jake rasped out his pleas to Caleb. “I need to feel you.” Clenching his teeth, Jake ground against Caleb almost angrily from his confined position, the heightened emotions of three weeks driving his physical needs. “Make me feel you.”

“I want to.” Caleb licked up the side of Jake’s sweat-slick neck into his hair, pulling and biting on the short tufts, even scraping into Jake’s scalp with his teeth. “Christ, I want to fuck you into oblivion.” He jerked against Jake, working a flicker of the needed friction in Jake’s channel. “But --” “But nothing.” Every muscle in Jake’s body pulled tight enough to snap. He knew only Caleb could fix him, help him find release so he could breathe again. “Do it. Please.” Caleb dropped from his hands to his elbows and slid his forearms inward, scooping Jake’s in with the embrace. He tucked them under Jake’s breastbone, clasping all four hands together in one big knot, and started shafting Jake’s ass in relentless, pounding strokes. So different from the previous time Caleb did him, the rougher taking had Jake’s mouth hanging open as he struggled to accept what he needed Caleb to give. The rubbed raw sensation fit in perfect harmony with Jake’s suppressed feelings of these weeks apart, and not even pain or the panic of injury could get him to tell Caleb to stop. “Harder.” Jake took the stab to his ass with a gasp. “Harder.” He bit through the edge of his own lip, drawing blood as Caleb gave him what he asked for. “Harder.” It was as if he begged for a sign of love with each sawing penetration. “Harder.” Jake almost cried for it. He needed to feel Caleb fucking him so desperately that he almost wanted it to hurt. “Oh, God, please. Don’t hold back. Fuck me so hard I can’t speak through it.” In answer, Caleb put a clamping hold around Jake’s chest, holding his body in place as he drove up into Jake’s rectum, touching him so deeply Jake cried out for the glory of it. So near to pain, it was everything Jake wanted -- no, needed -- out of this coupling. Jake bucked his hips and ass up and back into Caleb’s cock, angling for more. Somehow, Caleb gave it to him, and Jake keened a high shout likely only dogs would hear as Caleb owned and mastered Jake’s ass, as if he had been possessing Jake forever. Jake squeezed every muscle in and around his chute down around Caleb’s thick penetration, and forced that final bit of sensation that would push him over the edge.

It took Caleb there right with him. “Ohhh, Jake” -- Caleb locked Jake prisoner against him with even more constricting power -- “I’m gonna come.” He slammed into Jake’s inflamed ass one more time, shoving in so deep Jake thought he might come out the other side. He swelled with incredible thickness against Jake’s walls, and then cried out as he lost it. Pumping his hips as he let go of his orgasm, Caleb came, filling Jake’s hole to the brim with hot ejaculate. Caleb’s manacle of a hold, and his cum taking over Jake’s rectum, warming him from the inside out, triggered Jake out of his raw place of need. Without an ounce of control, he shot a load, his entire body shaking as he sprayed a spitting shower of semen against the side of the desk. Panting heavily through the aftermath, they lay there quietly for the longest, most agonizing stretch of minutes afterward. Caleb eventually lifted up and withdrew, leaving Jake empty and bereft once again. Capable hands encircled Jake’s waist, and rolled him over on the desk. “Come on.” Caleb drew Jake up to a standing position, and had the grace not to comment when Jake’s bones creaked, forcing out an entirely different kind of moan. Unfortunately, he didn’t make eye contact either, and that crushed Jake’s flayed open heart. “Let’s clean this mess up, and then go take a shower so that we can eat.” “Sounds like a plan.” Jake pushed everything down and nodded. He even managed to smile and share in some nonsensical conversation while they put the office back to rights. But he couldn’t chase away the heaviness that settled on his chest with a suffocating squeeze. Caleb shared in lighthearted banter right now, and he had even peeled back enough layers to get lost in the act of sex. Nevertheless, not once during what they did together, did Caleb descend into that place of pure, uncontrolled emotion where he couldn’t help saying, “I love you.” That told Jake everything he needed to know. Things were not yet right between them. Not by a long shot.

Damn it. Chapter Twenty-Nine

As still as the darkness outside, Jake awoke to the soft light of the hallway light slipping into the bedroom. He didn’t have to roll over and reach for Caleb; he already knew the man no longer slept next to him in bed. Son of a bitch. He’s skulking out on me. Again. Jake knew it. He knew it as surely as he knew his own name. Damn man had been doing it almost every day since coming home from the hospital two weeks ago. Avoiding Jake. Avoiding conversation. Avoiding real intimacy. Caleb sneaked out silently, leaving Jake convenient notes tucked in the mirror. He usually didn’t come home until after dinner, and then claimed exhaustion so that he could go right to sleep without talking. Jake had expected a certain amount of distance during the week Caleb had spent in the hospital right after his attack. He even anticipated that there might be a bit of awkwardness after coming home. But two weeks worth? A that initial frustration yesterday, Jake thought things were finally on the road to changing between them. Caleb worked on the property -- even if he did it away from Jake. And then what they did in the office last night… Jake had hoped it would be the start of a new direction for them. Only now, we’re right back to the bastard disappearing on me again. Rejection gutted Jake, nearly as deeply as when he found Caleb in that clearing and for a moment thought him already dead. The pain that spread through his middle poisoned Jake, and the first talons of anger clutched hold of him, infecting the patience he had exhibited with Caleb thus far.

Jake didn’t know how much more of this shut out he could take. Didn’t know how much more cool distance he could bear before he cracked and did something irreversible. Something that might lose him Caleb forever. ***** “I never took you for a pussy.” Caleb’s entire body seized at Cain’s cutting words, and he carefully put his travel mug of coffee down on Cain’s porch before it slipped right out of his hands. Caleb looked up at his brother, where he stood at the threshold to his cabin. “Excuse me?” He could hardly hold the man’s gaze, eyes so blue they often made Caleb think he and Cain shared a brotherhood more than by choice. “What the hell are you talking about?” “I mean you’ve been home from the hospital for almost two weeks, and you’ve done nothing but spend it with me and Connor.” “We spent almost a week interviewing people for the rodeo stock director job.” Caleb straightened up to his full height, and stiffened. “Was I not supposed to be there to hire the guy who will oversee my bulls when they’re on the road?” Cain raised a chestnut brow. “Yeah, so what are you doing here on my porch this morning?” He lifted his gaze to the still dark sky. “Before the crack of dawn.” “When I was at Connor’s a few days ago, I heard Luke telling Cassie that you were going to see P.J. today.” A retired veterinarian living in Bozeman, P.J. took in abused farm and ranch animals. When she had horses that needed care and a home, she called on Cain. He tended to adopt them all. “I thought I would come over and lend Luke a hand.” “Let me guess,” Cain said, his tone much too close to indulgent to suit Caleb’s mood. “Yesterday, Connor told you not to come back, so you’ve decided to use my place as your next hideout.”

Technically, Connor had booted Caleb off the main property two days ago. Being at home yesterday, though, so near to Jake, but still living in such a state of flux, Caleb didn’t know how to act around the man. Didn’t know what they were to each other now. Didn’t know what Caleb had a right to ask for in a future with Jake. How could he know? He didn’t know who or what he was anymore. Cain took Caleb’s face in his hands, and drew Caleb’s stare off the plank-board porch. His eyes shone bright, no hiding, full of love. Christ, Caleb envied his brother. “Go home, Caleb,” Cain finally said. He brushed the tip of his thumb against the edge of Caleb’s eye. Caleb’s chest heaved, and he blinked hard to keep down the tears. “You have someone there just waiting for you to love him and promise him a future. I saw it in Jake’s eyes while we were at the hospital. I saw you too. You want it so badly; I know you do. All you have to do is ask him.” “I can’t.” Caleb’s voice cracked, like an adolescent child’s. He spun around, tearing out of Cain’s hold. “It’s not right.” Cain circled Caleb and got right back in his face again. “Of course it’s right. Why do you say that?” “Because what if I’m not fully human!” Christ, Caleb’s head hurt with the myriad of reasons he and Jake couldn’t have what Cain and Luke had. A full, loving, passionate, respectful, honest life together. Caleb looked at his brother, and the hours the man had suffered so that he could have a life with Luke filled his mind. No. Determinedly, Caleb pushed those thoughts away. “What about that abnormally high white cell count in my blood that still has the interest of Dr. Deveraux?” he said instead. “What if the botched ritual didn’t get all of the demon out of me? What if, over time, I start to regenerate, and someone is watching me? What if someone comes for me, just like they did with Gabriel?” “Caleb, lots of people have elevated white cell counts.” Cain’s voice, so even in tone, tried to push its way into Caleb and settle his racing

heart. “That’s not enough for the people who took Gabriel to come looking for you.” “But the blood,” Caleb argued. “I didn’t lose all of my blood.” “You lost enough that it should have killed you.” Cain’s voice thickened this time, scraping at his vocal cords. “For a demon, or human, or anything. It’s a miracle that you survived. You’re a miracle. You held on because of something that went beyond understanding, not some reserve of demon blood hiding out in your system that’s going to pop back up and steal this life you’re so scared to grab for yourself. You are here because someone has decided that it is not your time to leave this earth yet, and you had damn well better make the most of it. That man at your house, waiting for you, lost a wife that he desperately loved, yet he somehow found a way to push through that grief and let himself care for you. Another man. Who isn’t gay either. That’s a miracle too. Don’t you dare hold back from him now. Not when you’re both so close to starting something great.” Cain wrapped his arms around Caleb and pulled him close, whispering at his ear, “Something full of love, which nobody deserves more than you.” That’s just it! I don’t deserve it ! screamed in Caleb’s head. I don’t deserve him. “Go on now.” Cain pulled back and smacked Caleb on the ass. “You’ve charmed countless women in your days. Go home now, and open your heart to one man.” Caleb followed Cain, veering toward his truck as Cain went for his. “But how?” “Just be yourself, brother.” Cain flashed a cheeky smile and winked, something he never would have done before Luke. “He won’t be able to help but fall.” Caleb deflated, sitting in his truck as he watched Cain drive away. Showing who he really was would be the one thing guaranteed to send Jake running away from Caleb’s open arms. In the shadow of the sun rising over the horizon, Caleb shivered.

***** Thinking to slink in through the kitchen, Caleb froze at the picture of Jake entering the room from the hall. Jeans and a black flannel shirt, with the collar of a white T-shirt peeking out at the neck, hair still damp at the edges, and a rough, weather-hewn face that looked freshly scrubbed… This visual of Jake became the snapshot of everything Caleb wanted to see in his home for the rest of his days. And everything he didn’t deserve. Jake stopped dead too -- for about a second. His eyes flared, and then the green darkened, somehow hardening the rest of his already toughlooking visage. “So you decided to come back. I figured it would be well past dinner before I saw you again today. Would you like an itinerary for my day so that you can make sure you’re on the opposite side of the land from where I’ll be?” Shit. “Okay” -- Caleb stepped inside the kitchen, shutting the door behind him -- “I guess I deserved that.” His words set off a land mine within Jake. The quiet, unassuming man exploded with life before Caleb’s very eyes. “You guess you deserve that? Well, isn’t that big of you to admit that you might be hiding from me, and I might be intelligent enough to notice it.” Jake stormed to the fridge and yanked the door open, precariously tilting the appliance with the force of the pull. Caleb rushed across the room and put a hand on the refrigerator, just in case. Jake let go and spun on Caleb, getting right up in his face. “You know what? I don’t get you, Hawkins. I had less trouble reading the moods of my wife, and she was an entirely different sex from me. You might have been a demon, but you still pretty much thought like a guy, so I could understand where you were coming from most of the time. Until now. Now I find you more frustrating and confusing than I ever did Krista. And as much as I loved her, I often felt like I was listening to a foreign language when she talked to me. Yet none of that compares to how confused I am by your actions since you came home from the hospital.”

Unable to bear the scrutiny in Jake’s stare, Caleb ripped his gaze off Jake’s and turned, bracing his hands on the table. Jesus, it all came down to this. He felt it so deeply it ached in his bones. Jake would not tolerate a partner who hid or ran. He respected himself enough to know that he deserved better. He would understand that on an entirely new level when he knew everything about Caleb’s past. The very thought of the revulsion he would see in Jake’s eyes drew a tremble out of Caleb that he could not conceal. The idea of losing this person he had let himself love weakened Caleb’s legs, making it hard to stand tall. Jake sighed behind him, and rubbed his hand down the length of Caleb’s back through his coat. Three layers of clothing did nothing to dampen the wave of desire that washed over Caleb in response. “You lived through something that scared the crap out of you and changed your life forever,” Jake began. “I get that. You’re dealing with a body that looks the same to me, but probably feels completely new to you on the inside; I sympathize with that too. Nevertheless, as terrible as it was, it gave you what I think you’ve always wanted: to become human, like your brothers. Why aren’t you jumping for joy? Why aren’t you grabbing me every chance you get and kissing me senseless, instead of skulking in the shadows? If I didn’t see the way you look at Cain and Connor when you think they can’t see you -which tells me everything I need to know about how much you’ve dreamt of becoming human -- I would think you’d never wanted to become human at all.” Caleb’s eyes fluttered closed, and his chest squeezed with unbearable tightness. “I didn’t earn it,” he said, his voice thick and low. “What?” Jake’s hand slid to Caleb’s arm, so soothing in its petting touch that Caleb wanted to scream at him to stop being so damn nice. “What does that mean, you didn’t earn it?” “I mean I don’t deserve it. I didn’t earn it.” Wrenching himself out of Jake’s soft hold, Caleb took two big steps away, needing distance. If he stood too close to Jake when awareness hit him, it would shatter Caleb. He forced himself to lift his gaze to Jake’s, knowing he owed this kindhearted man that, at least. “Humanity isn’t supposed to occur

as the result of some transfer ritual gone wrong. They don’t hand it out like soft drinks and burgers through a drive-through window. A demon has to work to make it happen; it relies upon sacrifice and vulnerability on the demon’s part. I didn’t do anything but hang there and get cut open for someone else’s greed.” “Caleb --” “No” -- he held up a hand -- “let me get this said. Cain had to go through twelve hours of torture at the hands of other Naverto demons, and then survive the recovery without any assistance, in order to become human. He could have died as a result of his choice, but he was willing to do it, for Luke. Connor had to open up his heart to Cassie so that she could help him, when he had never done anything in his life like that before. More than that, Cassie had to love Connor, unconditionally, and have it happen under a rare full Halloween moon, in order for him to become human. Connor only got one chance to attempt that changing ritual. If Cassie didn’t love him without limits, it wouldn’t have worked, and he would not have another chance to become human. They each took a huge risk, but it was worth it to them because they had faith in the love of a human on the other side. I didn’t do any of that in order to earn this gift. I just didn’t die when I was supposed to; that’s all.” “Is that what this is about?” Jake asked incredulously. He made it to Caleb in a few big steps and buried his hands in Caleb’s hair, tilting his head back until their eyes met and held. “You need to know that someone loves you in order to believe yourself worthy of being human? Will that snap you out of this funk you’re in? ’Cause, let me tell you something, Caleb, I love you.” Caleb stumbled, and Jake grabbed him around the waist. Jake’s eyes flashed, and he bit a hard kiss off Caleb’s lips, a taste that felt a whole lot more like anger than love. “There, you son of a bitch. You have your worthiness. I love you. I’m in love with you. I think I probably have been since the first time you kissed me. Does that make you feel better? Can we get over this now and get on with our lives? You’re loved, damn it, start believing it. Now you have what you need in order to feel that you’ve earned this change in your biology. Okay?”

His heart pounding frantically -- God, he can’t love me! -- Caleb curled his hands into fists, stamping down the need to smack Jake. “Oh, that’s a lovely confession.” He planted his palms against Jake’s chest and shoved the man out of his way, glaring with everything in him. “That’s exactly how I’ve always dreamed of hearing those words. Coerced out of you by pity, and probably because you want to get back to fucking me whenever the mood strikes you. I feel all better now. Thank you. Should I search for the olive oil again, or will butter or Crisco do for you this time?” “What in the hell is wrong with you now?” Jake’s face twisted, his skin flushing dark with the beginnings of real anger. Caleb knew Jake clasped his hands behind his neck and looked up to the ceiling so that he didn’t lunge for Caleb and strangle him. “I just told you I love you. You know how much Krista meant to me, so you know I would never throw those damn words around if I didn’t mean them. Why can’t you just accept it so we can get on with our lives and running this ranch together?” “You can’t love me, damn it!” Caleb shrieked. His blood raced with panic, taking over his entire being. “Why the hell not!” “Because I killed a woman, okay!” Caleb heaved as his stripped-raw emotions, and his past, spilled over into this life, the one with Jake, the one he knew could never last. Oh, God, he couldn’t keep the secret in anymore. “I killed Daphne! You can’t love a man who killed a woman, Jake. Not a good man like you. I killed a girl. That’s why you can’t love me. You don’t know me. Not the real me. Not the Caleb who lived in a brothel, taking the innocent young prostitutes under his charming wing, only to prep them for sex and a life of debauchery that can never be washed off once it stains a soul. You don’t know the Caleb who did that with practiced seduction methods, knowing I gave them just enough to whet their appetites for sex, only to lead them to the slaughter with titled gentlemen and the occasional wealthy merchant. Only, Daphne needed a little more. She needed to believe she was in love with me in order to get her to the next stage of her new profession, so I led her there with deliberate intent.”

Caleb saw the horror in Jake’s eyes. A sick tumble of laughter grabbed hold of him, and Caleb deliberately thrust the knife blade of his story the rest of the way home. “That’s right, Jake. I did it for a cut from the proprietress for each girl I turned into a pro. I did it without remorse, dozens and dozens of times, until Daphne. Until I promised her that what she would do with other men for coin would be exactly like what she did with me while I prepared her. And I let her believe we would be together when she wasn’t doing her job -- a job she agreed to do because of me. Then, she had her first customer.” Christ, the wetness, the disillusion, the pained accusation in those violet depths when he next saw the young woman continued to haunt Caleb to this day. “Only, it wasn’t like what I had shown her at all. Then again, it never was, and I knew that too. That man tore her open, wanting her virgin’s blood to flow. Afterward, I couldn’t get her to come to me again, now that a paying customer had breached her first. She saw through me at that point, right to the cruel, hollow animal inside. I couldn’t get her to let me touch her, to take her and show her that it could be better than what that man did to her, the way I had done with all of the other girls up to that point. She did a few more customers, because hey, it was still a business, after all. She called for me then, and I arrogantly thought, ‘This is my chance. I finally get to sink between her thighs and show her what it feels like to take an experienced, attentive lover.’ Only, she didn’t. With tears streaming down her face, she showed me bruises that remained on her body from that first sale. Then, with complete lucidity in her eyes, she named me her executioner and threw herself out of a window, where she broke, horribly, on the stone ground below. That’s me, Jake. That’s the real Caleb Hawkins. A man that can’t be loved. A man who shouldn’t be loved. Least of all by a fine man like you. I have to pay for what I did to her. For what I did to all of them. You made me forget that for a short while, but I remember now.” Standing very still four feet away, Jake’s face drained of color. Caleb wobbled, and Jake looked equally unsteady. Caleb had the feeling he could knock Jake to his knees with a feather. Caleb forced a rigid stand to his own legs, otherwise he knew he would fall to the floor too. “Looking at your ashen face right now, so repulsed you don’t know what to say” -- Caleb’s voice hardly registered as a whisper -- “I know I’ll never again forget what I did to those girls. Excuse me.” Caleb very deliberately opened the door and escaped to the back porch. He

folded over, wheezing through the first wave of loss. Once he could breathe through the suffocating pain, Caleb took off at a dead run. Chapter Thirty

The morning wind rushed through Caleb with a mighty chill, biting his cheeks with stinging cold -- and, crap -- making the continued soreness in his hip more pronounced than ever. Jake. Jake. Jake. Damn it, damn it. The horror that shone in his eyes when Caleb finally admitted the truth very nearly brought Caleb to his knees right there in the kitchen. I killed a girl; I finally said it out loud. Christ, if Caleb had any inclination that being human would suck this much he never would have asked for it every night in his most secret dreams. The pounding of heavy boots on hard ground assaulted Caleb’s ears and rumbled under his feet, quickly growing louder. Suddenly, fingers dug into his upper arm with incredible strength and whipped him around. Jake stood before him, towering over Caleb in his stark beauty, for some reason looking like a giant in Caleb’s eyes. “You don’t get to walk away from me, you son of a bitch,” Jake hissed, none too softly. “You think you get to declare your past, and then judge me before I know you’re finished talking enough for me to get a word in edgewise?” “There’s nothing more to say.” “I fucking told you I love you.” No single person had ever looked so pissed off when declaring themselves, Caleb felt certain of it. “You’d damn well better have something to say to that.” “You don’t --” Caleb noticed heads poking out of the stock barn and bodies walking down from the bunkhouses. He dropped his voice accordingly. “You don’t have to hold yourself to that. You didn’t know everything when you said it.” Christ, you pussy, Caleb berated himself. Man up and stop acting like you’re one word away from bawling like a baby. “You don’t have to worry about anything. You

can stay here. I’ll go back on the road with the rodeo stock so you don’t have to look at me. I won’t crowd your new life.” “God, man, you have a lot to learn about being human.” Jake snaked his hand out and curled it around Caleb’s neck, squeezing, almost painfully, as he tugged him so close their noses touched. His warm breath caressed over Caleb’s chilled skin, defrosting it with tingling awareness. “And a hell of a lot more to learn about me if you think I would ever let you leave this place without me by your side.” Jake’s eyes glittered with intent that Caleb had come to read very well lately. He eradicated the small distance between them, fusing his mouth to Caleb’s in a hard, searing kiss. Jake bruised Caleb’s lips with his attack, biting him before nudging his tongue through the seam, moaning as their tongues met in a furious coupling. So much a part of the fabric of his very being now, Caleb opened up and leaned into Jake, sinking his fingers into Jake’s shirt, holding himself upright only through the clutch of his fingers and Jake’s hands, one wrapped around his neck, and the other palming the small of his back. Barely started, Caleb remembered everything he had told Jake in the kitchen and jerked away. His focus darted all over the place, first on Jake, and then on the growing crowd, who watched without a hint of embarrassment or shame. Caleb touched his fingers to his swollen lips. “I…I apologize. This shouldn’t have happened.” He took a step back from Jake, his heart breaking as he replayed his confession in his mind -- and the look in Jake’s eyes as he had done it. Jake snagged Caleb again, this time getting his wrist. He quickly slid his fingers down and linked them together. “I don’t apologize. And the hell it shouldn’t have happened.” He said that to Caleb, stared him down right in the eyes as he did it, almost as if he dared Caleb to contradict him. Then he turned to the crowd. “Listen up, everyone.” Touching his thumb and middle finger together, Jake brought them to his lips and whistled, drawing even more folks out from any place within hearing distance. “I’m gonna say this once to stem the curiosity, but from then on don’t think it means you have the right to ask, because it’s none of your damn business. I’m not gay, and I’ve never

been attracted to a guy before, but for some reason that I cannot fully explain, I have fallen in love with this man.” He pointed an unsteady finger at Caleb. “I don’t know why, and it’s the God’s honest truth that I’m tired of trying to figure it out. All I know is that I lost my wife six years ago, the only person I ever thought to love in this way, so I’m done being stupid enough to willfully throw it away because it might make me embarrassed or uncomfortable to admit that I feel it.” Turning to Caleb, Jake continued to speak to the group, but took Caleb’s other hand and brought them both to his lips, kissing the back of each one. His eyes stayed glued on Caleb. “The only problem with this resurgence of emotion I can’t keep hidden anymore is that this man doesn’t believe he deserves to be loved. He doesn’t think he’s worthy of my absolute devotion to him. So here’s the deal: I know that he is. Therefore, you’re going to see a lot of your foreman kissing your boss in the foreseeable future, probably every time you turn around, as I spend a good part of every day trying to convince him that he is. Now I don’t really give a shit what any of you think about that, but I just thought I’d let you know so that you can start getting yourselves used to what you’ll see.” Caleb opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His hands shook within the confines of Jake’s, and he could hardly see or hear through the ridiculous film covering his eyes or the roaring of Jake’s vow in his ears. This can’t be. He doesn’t yet fully understand. He won’t want me when what I told him finally sinks in. “Huh-uh, baby.” Jake shook his head. “I can see it in your eyes. No more denials, no more secrets, no more hiding.” He let go of one of Caleb’s hands and drew his fingers under Caleb’s chin, forcing his face out of the shadows. “No more shame.” Caleb bit his lip and blinked fast, focusing his attention to the left of Jake’s face, away from the majority of the rest of the group. “No, you can’t mean it.” “I can, and I do.” Before Caleb could speak, Hank’s crusty voice rose above the rumblings of the crowd. “Don’t be stupid, boy. Ain’t nobody more right for you and this place than Jake here. Ain’t nobody more

devoted or gonna take better care of you, neither. Don’t go making me think you’re an idiot, when I always thought you was one of the few halfway smart folks I ever met.” “Yeah, come on, boss,” Jasper added, his voice surprisingly rich and strong. “If anybody deserves someone to love and look out for him, it’s you. Shit, look at what you’ve done for half the guys on this ranch, offering jobs and giving new life to men who didn’t think they had one anymore.” A surge of murmuring agreements broke out among the group. “I don’t know much about you, except to say that you’re the best boss I’ve ever had, and about the damn finest person I know.” A flush crept over Caleb’s face as he listened to such wrongheaded kindness from his employees, the burn reaching all the way down to his neck and up to the tips of his ears. “And that’s coming from someone you fired once, and then hired back after I slashed your tires, so you know I know what I’m talking about.” Caleb stumbled, unable to stand under the onslaught of long-buried emotions Jake and this group of people forced him to feel. Right there at his side -- the way he claimed he wanted it -- Jake slipped his arm around Caleb’s waist and tucked him in close, holding him upright. “All right, guys, we appreciate your support, but it’s time to get to work.” Jake turned his attention to the veteran cowboy. “Hank, get everyone going on the work that needs doing today. I’ll be along shortly. You know what to do.” “Yep.” Turning to the hands, Hank lifted his arms and rotated, looking like he planned to direct a plane out of the sky. “All right, you heard the boss, let’s move it along. Show’s over.” He corralled with his arms, and within moments, the group dispersed. Hank paused though, shifting in profile to glance back at both men. His gaze lingered on Caleb, and then moved up to Jake. “Take care of him, you hear me? Hurt him, and I’ll put you right in the ground. Are we clear?” Caleb ached in a way that went so deep he could barely breathe through the pain that burned inside him. Every strand of life in his body heated and became sensitized with too much feeling. He didn’t know how to experience it, so Caleb remained mute in the face of Hank’s gruff warning to Jake.

“You don’t have to worry about him anymore, Hank,” Jake said. “I’ve got him now, and I’m not letting him go.” “Good.” Hank slipped his hands into his coat pockets, hacked up what sounded like a lung, and spit on the ground. “I was getting damn tired of doing it myself, and am feeling like I need a rest. I ain’t gettin’ any younger, you know…” Hank just kept complaining as he walked away, for all the world looking like he had a full crowd of rapt listeners. Jake guided Caleb to the house, and moving like an automaton, Caleb followed. Up the porch steps and through the front door, Caleb saw everything around him through a hazy blur -- until one picture coalesced and drew his eye, yanking him to a stop. Krista. Smiling and full of life as she looked into the lens of a camera, the picture was one Caleb knew Jake had taken. Her face glowed with pure light and love for her husband, reminding Caleb that as much as he wanted it, this wonderful man was not for the likes of him. “Wait.” Through the sickness that suffocated him and thickened his vocal cords, Caleb found his voice. He tried to untangle his fingers from Jake’s, but the man wouldn’t let him go. “You can’t do this.” God, why does this hurt so much? I’ve let people I care about go from my life before. “You have to stop.” “What is it now, baby?” A dangerously pitying sigh escaped Jake’s lips, automatically shooting Caleb’s back ramrod straight. “Come in here” -- he dragged Caleb into the den -- “and we’ll talk about it. Again.” Pushing Caleb’s jacket off his shoulders, Jake let it fall to the floor. “And then we’ll do it again, until you understand that I’m not going anywhere.” He ran his hands all over Caleb’s chest, teasing his nipples through his flannel shirt, drawing a gasp from Caleb as the soft fabric abraded the puckered tips. “For the record,” Jake added as he pressed a kiss to the sensitized area, suckling Caleb through the shirt, “you’re not leaving this place either.” Oh, Jesus, Caleb couldn’t let this man seduce him. He had to make Jake understand. Now. In a month or two, losing Jake, when he woke up and realized the truth of the ugliness living in Caleb’s soul, would kill him.

“The things I did, Jake.” Caleb tried again. “The disillusion and heartache and pain I caused to those girls.” “I know.” Jake stood before Caleb, unbuttoning his shirt, and Caleb slipped to a place so far away he didn’t have the strength in his hands to stop the man and tell him a seduction wouldn’t change anything. “You have such an honorable moral center, and I did such bad things. The details would sicken you to hear them. I manipulated those girls, charming their fears away and teasing their bodies until they thought sex with everyone would be the same as what I showed them it could be, before they took their first customer. And then afterward, seducing them again, without caring about them, just so that I could have as much sex as I wanted and continue getting a piece of their take. I didn’t care about anything except successfully creating profitable prostitutes, and I certainly didn’t have it bad enough as a kid to justify or excuse my actions.” Jake nudged Caleb down into a plush, thick-armed chair, and Caleb let him. As Jake went down on his knees between Caleb’s legs, he pulled one booted foot to his lap, pausing with his big hand wrapped around Caleb’s calf. “You made a choice that I can’t condone, and you did some pretty terrible things that I’m certain messed with the heads of all those young women. I won’t absolve you and tell you that you didn’t, if that’s what you’re looking to hear. It was a selfish, ugly choice you made.” Jake looked down, taking away the brightness in his beautiful gaze. Caleb’s breath caught in his chest at the rejection. He knew it had to happen, but Christ, he couldn’t prepare himself for the buckling of his very soul. After an elongated moment of silence that killed Caleb anew with every second, Jake resumed removing Caleb’s boots and socks, and Caleb forgot how to breathe. Also, how to stop the trickle of wetness that tracked a line down each of his cheeks. “You want black and white, damnation or absolution, when in truth the course of your existence before and after that time in your life is a series of different shades of gray.” Rising up on his knees, Jake worked the buckle loose on Caleb’s waist. Caleb lifted on automatic,

and Jake drew Caleb’s jeans and underwear down his legs, leaving him naked, in every way. Then, he removed his own clothes, and kneeled before Caleb, the man a stark vision in his rough, cowboy beauty. “You didn’t kill that poor girl, Caleb, as much as in your heart it must feel like you did. You did something unwise by living the life you did while in that brothel, and there were consequences, without a doubt. But that young woman, Daphne, she made the ultimate terrible choice by taking her own life. It isn’t pretty, but neither is it something for which you have to continually punish yourself the way you have since it happened. You sold your own body in repentance for what happened with her, Caleb. You don’t have to tell me that prostituting yourself came after Daphne died. I know your heart, and I know you caused harm to your own body as a way to demean yourself, in the way you talked her into doing.” “No.” Tears streaming down his face in embarrassing wetness, Caleb shook his head. Why wouldn’t this man understand? “I didn’t care about her. I just didn’t have a choice. After Daphne…at the brothel…” Distracted for a moment, Caleb moaned as Jake took his cock in hand and started to stroke him to life. “You shouldn’t do that…Oh, Christ…” Jake reached between Caleb’s legs and massaged his balls and let his index finger slip back and stroke his sensitive taint. Caleb inhaled deep breaths through the physical pleasure that Jake unfairly wreaked out of him, and forced his mind back to the truth. “I couldn’t work there anymore. The girls turned on me, warning the new recruits that I would lie to them, and not to believe a word I said about sex or the patrons of the club. The owner let me go, and I had to find another way to make some money.” “I don’t buy that for a minute.” Working on Caleb’s sensitized penis until he felt hard enough to pound fence poles into the ground, Jake never for one second lost the connection of their gazes. “You’re an intelligent, quick-witted man, and I don’t doubt for one second that you were clever as hell in your youth. You could have sought another kind of work, and with a little determination found a way to rise up to the rank of wealth where you wanted to be. You wanted the pain that came with selling your body, your dignity. You put yourself in Daphne’s life as a way to punish yourself and apologize for what you believed you did to her.

“But, baby --” Jake rose up and leaned into Caleb, reaching over him for the side table drawer. Their chests melded against each other, and the way Jake balanced with one hand on Caleb’s shoulder reeked with such familiarity and comfort that it pierced through a layer of Caleb’s armor, and let everything he held inside leak out of him in a steady flood. “You have atoned again, and again, and again, in so many ways.” Jake came back with lube, and popped the hinged lid. “You have lived all this time, never letting yourself get too close to another person, never letting yourself fall in love.” “I don’t deserve it.” Frantic, almost in near panic, Caleb’s entire body shook as Jake wrapped his slicked-up fingers around Caleb’s dick and prepared him for sex. “I don’t deserve you.” “Well, too damn bad.” Moving in to straddle Caleb, Jake tunneled his fingers through Caleb’s hair and tilted his head back with one hand, while reaching behind his body with the other. When Jake slid his eyes closed and grunted, Caleb knew the man had penetrated himself with his fingers and pushed lubricant into his ass. Jake’s cock rode surprisingly hard against Caleb’s belly, but Caleb couldn’t even move enough to look down or touch. Jake opened his eyes, and his gaze burned with passion and lust. “You have me, and I’m not ever going away.” With that, he held Caleb’s prick up and sank down on it, bearing down on Caleb’s tip until his sphincter muscle released and allowed Caleb entry. Jake’s eyes fluttered, and he moaned, sinking down onto Caleb’s lap until every inch of Caleb’s cock filled Jake’s scorching tight ass. Oh hell. Caleb choked on the exquisite sensations surrounding his penis. He didn’t think he could ever get used to this man allowing him inside his body. More, wanting it. No, no, no. Fate wouldn’t let Caleb have this. The universe would find a way to separate them and take Jake away. It would let Caleb think he had Jake, and then rip them apart, as it had done the night Gabriel and Cressida nearly took his life. Nearly. Caleb grabbed Jake’s shoulders and held the man down, forcing him to stop his sexy little circles over Caleb’s buried penis. “There’s so

much that can still go wrong.” Jake’s gaze, so close and intense, so able to read everything wreaking havoc in Caleb’s soul, became too much, and Caleb turned his head away. Jake’s hands immediately took hold of his head and forced Caleb’s focus back to him. Unwavering and intense, the certainty living there tore a sob out of Caleb, exhibiting yet another layer of weakness that he didn’t want this man to see. “God, baby, tell me.” Jake rubbed the pads of his thumbs across Caleb’s cheeks, the caress as gentle as if he handled a baby. “Tell me what’s tearing you up inside so badly, and I’ll make it better. I swear.” “What about the fact that we don’t even know what I am anymore?” Caleb punched himself in the thigh with his fist, hating the new scars and limitations. “Hey” -- Jake grabbed Caleb’s hand before he could do it again -“don’t do that. Don’t hurt yourself. Not anymore.” “But what if I’m not really human?” The question came out terribly squeaky and high, but Caleb couldn’t relax enough to speak in his natural voice. “We don’t know what’s left of the demon inside me, and if it will regain strength and come back.” “If it does, we’ll deal with that when it happens.” Pushing his weight forward, Jake tumbled Caleb back into the seat, leaned into him fully, and began to ride him again in earnest. He squeezed his anal walls and dragged up and down on Caleb’s erection, moaning each time he took the full length inside him again. “Damn it, man, don’t you get it? Can’t you feel it when we come together like this?” Pressing his forehead to Caleb’s, Jake trapped his gaze, ruthless in its hold. He took one of Caleb’s hands and moved it down to his buttocks, forcing him to put a palm against Jake’s hole and help keep them connected through the deep in and out motion. “I don’t care about the genetic makeup of your body. I care about you, Caleb. I care about the truth, and that is that your heart is more human than anyone I know.” “But if I change again, they might come for me like they did Gabriel.” Squeezing his eyes shut, Caleb tunneled his free hand through Jake’s hair, pulling the shorts tufts when Jake squirmed on his lap and caressed his buried cock in a completely different way. Caleb pressed

their lips together, aching for the connection, even as he tried to push the man away. “I couldn’t bear to know you suffered if they took me away and left you alone…” Caleb trembled, breaking down as he remembered the Jake he saw that night at the motel. The man so mired in grief Caleb though he might end his life. “…like what happened with Krista. You mourned for her so deeply. Christ, you still do.” “Different situation, baby.” Jake tensed on top of Caleb, and fire simmered in his eyes, clearing the sexual haze. “If they ever come for you, and somehow manage to get through me to you, I will find you, no matter what it takes. I’d have people from this ranch and this town lined up behind me a mile long to lend a hand. Nobody is ever taking you away from me. Not like that.” “But --” Jake slanted his lips over Caleb and kissed the very breath out of him, stealing his worry. He forced Caleb’s mouth open wide with the strength of his jaw and swept the cavern of Caleb’s mouth, sucking and mating with his tongue, drawing an involuntary spear out of Caleb’s cock up into Jake’s quivering rectum. “There you go.” Jake braced his hands on Caleb’s shoulders and really started to undulate his hips and ass into Caleb’s body, meeting the new pumps that Caleb couldn’t hold back any longer. “God, man, you know how to fuck me just right.” Caleb groaned as his body’s needs took over the fear and worry plaguing his mind and heart. “You make it so easy.” He wrapped his arm around Jake’s rock-hard waist and buried his face in the man’s chest. “I never dreamed I could want someone the way I want you. You feel better and more right than anyone I’ve ever been with or touched in all of my life.” Jake kissed his way down Caleb’s head to his ear. Through heavy breaths that induced shivers, Jake whispered, his voice harsh, “I love you. I love everything about you.” He clamped his ass muscles down around Caleb’s cock and pulled up, creating a feeling so unbearably intimate and hot it drew every hair on Caleb’s body to standing on end. Then Jake said more. “But the thing I treasure the most, the thing I want to help you heal, is your kind, generous, tormented soul.” Jake

bore back down, eating Caleb’s cock to the hilt. “Let me help you learn to love yourself again.” “I…I…” Choking through the wave of love Jake forced him to feel, everything seized inside Caleb at once. His lips pulled back and he sank his teeth into Jake’s chest. At the same time, he clutched Jake at the small of his back like a lifeline as he shattered. “Oh, God, yeah.” Jake bore down on Caleb’s lap, and seemed to spread himself even wider to take Caleb’s release. “Come for me, baby. Come for me good.” “Ahh, fuck. Jake, Jake.” Caleb shuddered viciously as he came, unable to hold back the keening cry as his testicles were sucked halfway up into his body. His orgasm raced up his spine and through his belly, finally shooting into Jake’s rippling channel, pumping hot streams of cum deep into the other man’s body. Jake tore off Caleb’s lap in a flash and pulled Caleb’s ass right to the edge of the chair. Spreading Caleb’s legs, Jake hooked them over the arms of the chair, putting his little pucker on display. “Tell me.” With his entire body shaking too, Jake squeezed out a generous dollop of lube and fisted some of it on his red, rearing cock before smearing the rest over Caleb’s quivering hole, pushing enough to get him to relax and force some of the cool liquid inside. Quickly, Jake guided his thick mushroom head to Caleb’s asshole, and looked up, their eyes meeting again. “Say it again, please. I need to hear you say it.” Caleb didn’t need clarification. And Jake had him in such a state of raw desire right now, he couldn’t deny the man anything. “I love you, Jake.” Jake roared and drove his cock home, stretching and taking Caleb’s ass to the point where tears stung his eyes. He didn’t care about the pain. He grabbed Jake’s hips and bumped up to meet his deep, erratic thrusts, needful of this man’s loss of control that matched his of a moment ago. They both broke the connection of their gazes to look down and watch one body take the other with primal, animal mating, uncaring of contorting faces and slapping skin. He could only see and feel his entrance screaming with raw delight as Jake’s penis penetrated his rectum again and again.

“It’s so beautiful.” Caleb reached down and touched, mesmerized by the feel of Jake’s slick, hard flesh grazing against his fingers before disappearing into his body. “I want it forever” -- Caleb gasped as Jake angled and hit his kill spot, shooting lines of joy throughout every nerve ending in his body -- “but I don’t know how to believe fate won’t take you away from me.” Jake’s gaze stormed, swirling until his irises darkened deeper than the colors of the forest. “You let me fight fate for you.” He dragged Caleb’s legs down from the spread-eagle position and tucked them around his waist, and then hauled him upright with bruising fingers around his forearms. Closing the sliver of space that remained between their bodies, Jake scraped his lips across Caleb’s, and clung there to share his next words. “I know you’re scared, baby, but I swear it’s gonna be okay.” Caleb dug his fingers into Jake’s back, scoring gashes into his flesh as the first flickers of hope forced their way out, overwhelming him with the power of his need to believe. “How do you know? How are you so sure?” “Because I love you.” Jake’s smile hitched dangerously lopsided, annihilating what little remained shielded and protected in Caleb’s heart. “And you love me. Whenever we have a problem, we’re gonna lean on each other and figure it out together.” Caleb opened his mouth, but Jake planted a fast kiss on him and cut down his protest. “No. No more excuses. Together, Caleb Hawkins. You and me.” Jake tumbled backward, holding Caleb to him. Jake hit the floor and rolled Caleb over onto his back. He thrust into Caleb hard and deep, moaning as he pushed Caleb into the coarse fabric of the rug with all of his weight. Encircling Caleb’s head with his arms, Jake put their faces close enough to touch, and started to move. “I meant what I said to the men outside earlier. After Krista, I never thought I could feel this way about another living soul. Didn’t want to. Just wanted to stop being, forever. Then, one day, you give me a chance to create a new life, and right away you’re all I can think about and the only thing I want.” His thrusts into Caleb’s burning, tender chute grew ever more punctuated, as if he backed up his words with the actions of his body. “I won’t let you walk away because you think you should continue to

suffer for mistakes you made almost two lifetimes ago, or because you think fate is chasing you, when really it’s your own guilt keeping you trapped and alone.” Jake touched his fingers to the corners of Caleb’s eyes, wiping away tears. Dipping down, he pressed a kiss to one eyelid first, then the other, before meshing his lips to Caleb’s, splitting them apart. He forced Caleb to taste the words, to absorb the love that flowed from Jake through his vow. “Forgive yourself, Caleb.” He wouldn’t let Caleb blink or turn away. “It’s time.” “No…” Caleb shook his head, the action brushing his lips against Jake’s in a tantalizing, desperate caress. “Shouldn’t be forgiven.” Jake whispered, “Yes. Let it go, baby. Let it go.” He sank down on top of Caleb, pressing his full weight and the heat of their bodies together, so incredibly intimate Caleb didn’t know how to look away, even though a deeply buried voice in his head screamed that he run. “Let it go.” Jake began a steady rocking within the confines of Caleb’s ass, using smooth measured strokes, as if he had all day to lie here and take up permanent residence inside Caleb’s body. “Let it go.” Resting his lips against Caleb’s, Jake licked him with just the tip, and then nudged a hint inside, rubbing moist points before withdrawing. His voice so soft Caleb almost couldn’t hear it with his ears, Jake forced Caleb to feel them with his heart instead. “Let it go, sweetheart,” came out one more time. “Oh, God, please, please.” Something seized inside Caleb, a gripping onslaught of powerful emotions he had only let himself experience just a hint of for his brothers. These feelings rushed over Caleb’s body and through his insides, filling him with cold, and heat, and oh God, so much pain. He tried to buck away, but Jake held him down, dug his rough-tipped fingers deeply into Caleb’s face and pushed his cock somehow even deeper into Caleb’s pulsing, flaming ass. Jake’s eyes burned with such brightness and clarity it stole Caleb’s breathing just to look at him. Jake overpowered the ingrained struggle Caleb put up against him, and said again, “Let it go.” More than Jake’s words or tone, the equal moisture that brimmed in his green eyes broke through to Caleb and snaked in through the crack in his wall, and then tumbled the entire damn fortress down. “Let it go.”

“Yes, oh please, yes.” Nodding, Caleb snuffled inelegantly as hideous wetness stormed down his face. “Yes.” Shuddering through the length of his entire being, Caleb lifted trembling fingers to Jake’s face, touching, unable to believe he got to feel this man for the rest of his days. “I will, I will.” A floodgate opened, burying him in a wave of untapped places in his heart and soul. “I love you, and I want to take care of you, and I want to make Krista proud she gave you to me. I need you to take care of me too.” I’m so sorry, Daphne. Please forgive me. “Don’t ever let me go, Jake.” “Never.” Jake brought his mouth down to meet Caleb’s and clung there, revealing a desperation that matched the one living inside Caleb for him. “Never. Never. I love you too damn much to ever let you go.” “I love you too.” Caleb kissed back, for the first time allowing himself to drink in the love from another person that he ached down to his very soul to share. “Always, Jake. Forever.” Jake stiffened over Caleb, and then he gritted his teeth and groaned. Seconds later, he pumped his cock one time and then stilled completely as he marked Caleb deep inside, warming Caleb’s milking channel with his seed. From his man. His partner, in every way. The one person in the world who knew everything about him, and somehow still loved him anyway. Jake Chase. How in the hell had that happened? A bubble of laughter overflowed from Caleb. Jake rumbled what sounded like a contented sigh and drew his elbows up onto Caleb’s chest. A hint of a smile tilted his hard lips as he met Caleb’s gaze. “I love your laugh,” Jake shared. “It brings a smile to everybody’s face. Mine included.” “Thanks.” Caleb felt the burn of a blush steal over his cheeks. “I was just thinking about what drew us to each other in this way, when we’ve never felt anything like it for a man before.” “An angel looking out for us.” Jake reached down and withdrew his penis from Caleb’s rectum, sliding one last line of residual pleasure up through Caleb’s belly. Linking their hands together, Jake pulled Caleb to his feet. “For both of us.”

“Yeah.” Thank you, Krista, for loving him enough to give him to me. Damn it. Caleb stuffed down the ridiculous urge to cry. Again. “Come on.” Jake tugged Caleb out into the hall to the stairs. “I’d love to spend the day fucking you, but we actually do have a lot of work to get done today. Besides which” -- he stopped midstep and turned, his eyes twinkling as he slid his hand down Caleb’s crack and rubbed the tender hole -- “your sweet ass isn’t going to recover the way it used to, and mine’s still a damn sight sore from just now and the pounding I begged for from you last night. Might as well grab another shower and get to work.” Christ, Caleb loved this man. Adored how much he had taken this piece of property into his heart and made it his own. Jake took another couple of steps, but Caleb pulled on the link of their fingers, stopping him. Jake turned back, and gave Caleb a sweet smile. “What is it, honey?” Caleb toyed with Jake’s fingers, still so uncertain of this acceptance that now lived inside his heart, valiantly trying to thrive. “We’re gonna make it, you and I. Aren’t we?” No question really, but more a sense of marvel that he actually believed it himself. “Yeah, darlin’, we are.” Jake descended the few steps he had taken and slipped his arms around Caleb’s waist. He tugged Caleb close until their bellies rubbed against each other, and then he leaned down and captured Caleb’s lips in a quick kiss. He planted a few more fast, hard ones there, just the way Caleb loved so much in the kitchen that morning. He nipped once more before pulling away. “I promise we’re gonna do just fine. Now, let’s go get that shower before we end up losing a half day’s worth of work.” Caleb liked the thought of that. Waking up with this man at his side, sharing a hard day of ranch work that they both loved, and then coming home and tumbling into bed together when the sun went down. Falling in love all over again each time they did it. Jake led the way up the stairs to their bedroom, their hands linked.

Smiling to himself, his heart light in a way he had never experienced in his long lifetime, Caleb followed the man he loved. Epilogue

“Ohh Christ, sweetheart…” Caleb bowed his hips and lower back right off the bed, his eyes practically rolling back in his head as Jake swallowed half of his cock and jammed two fingers into his ass at the same time. “If you don’t stop we’re gonna be late.” Jake looked up the length of Caleb’s body, wicked confidence shining in his eyes. He pulled off Caleb’s pole, swept his tongue across the sensitive slit, and said, “Don’t worry. I know how to make you come fast. We’ll get there on time.” Sucking on just the fat tip, nibbling the smooth skin in the way that drove Caleb wild, Jake also crooked his two fingers in Caleb’s excited tunnel and tickled his prostate. One move later, he engulfed Caleb’s erection to the base and forced two more fingers past Caleb’s snug ring, and then spread them all apart, stretching Caleb with unbearable pleasure and pain -- in exactly the way Jake knew he liked it. Just like that, Caleb cried out, combusting in Jake’s mouth, coming with the strength of a geyser down Jake’s throat. Those muscles rippled over the head of Caleb’s cock as the man swallowed, and Caleb whimpered, pushing out another quick drizzle of cum. Jake let Caleb’s dick slide free and tore his fingers out of Caleb’s ass, quickly shoving Caleb’s knees up and wide on either side of his chest. “Hold your legs apart. Oh God, baby. That’s so pretty.” Jake stared down at Caleb’s collapsed asshole, and quickly took his own cock in hand for a couple of hard pulls. “Stay open for me.” He reached between his legs and fingered his balls too. “Oh, yeah, just for one…more…sec.” His face twisted with harsh beauty as he masturbated himself and pointed his prick, aiming his slit right for Caleb’s backdoor. “Love you,” Caleb whispered, knowing all of Jake’s hot buttons too.

“Ohh shit… I’m coming, I’m coming.” His full body flushing as it happened, Jake groaned low in his throat as orgasm overtook him, besting him once again. He came, his eyes glued to Caleb’s bud as he directed a spray of ejaculate right over the opening, coating the area with his essence, and warming Caleb’s sensitive tissues with liquid love. Caleb did love it too, because it was Jake’s latest thing. Jake wanted to come on every inch of Caleb’s body, and had done so over a good bit of it already. He liked to repeat a few areas along the way: primarily, Caleb’s asshole. Steadily, over the course of the last six weeks, Jake marked new pieces of Caleb’s flesh as his territory, claiming possession in one of the most elemental of ways. Caleb let him. Secretly, he reveled in it, even if he liked to tease his man about it mercilessly. Jake fell on top of Caleb, panting hot breaths against his neck. Caleb chuckled and smacked his partner’s bare, tight ass. “Well, at least you didn’t do it in my hair this time. Although, hell, I’m still gonna have to take another shower before we go.” Lifting himself up into a push-up stance, Jake looked down at Caleb, a knowing light shining in his loving eyes. “Don’t act like you don’t want me putting my scent all over you, Hawkins. You know you love it.” He lowered his head and sank into a deep, slow kiss, moaning as Caleb captured Jake’s tongue and sucked it inside. As always, the taste of himself inside Jake heated Caleb’s blood, if not his cock. The demon hadn’t returned yet, and in moments like these, when Caleb would love nothing more than to roll Jake over and push inside until he could go no farther, he felt a twinge of missing that part of his old life. Just a hint of wishing for the demon’s recuperative powers, but not nearly enough for Caleb to mess with the normal partnership he tentatively built with Jake every day. “Mmm…you feel so good.” Caleb settled for rubbing himself against Jake’s thigh, the friction pleasant, the closeness everything he still thanked God for every day, even if his dick didn’t harden with the contact. Running his hands up and down the thick muscles cording along either side of Jake’s spine, he veered in toward the small of his

man’s back, and the sensitive patch of skin right above the cleft of his ass. With a delicate rub of his fingers, a little purring shiver rolled through Jake, making Caleb ache too. “Maybe we could run a little bit late,” Caleb murmured. “I haven’t feasted on you” -- he slipped two fingers down Jake’s crack and teased his tight pucker -- “in over a week.” Jake growled. He pressed a series of hard kisses on Caleb’s passionswollen lips before cursing and pulling away. “Later.” He rolled out of bed, pausing only long enough to grab Caleb’s hands and drag him upright too. Turning Caleb in the direction of their bathroom, he nudged Caleb gently to get him going. “Go take a shower. I’m using the one in my old room” -- he gave Caleb a pointed, heated look -- “or else we’ll never get out of here.” From the bathroom doorway, Caleb stared at Jake openly as he moved about the room, gathering a few things. As always, Caleb’s mouth turned to cotton while admiring the honed beauty of Jake’s fit, nude body. There would always be a piece of Caleb that appreciated the female form, but he could no longer imagine wanting anyone sexually, other than this man. The things they continued to learn about each other while playing in bed -- or the kitchen, office, living room, and den. Hell, they even managed it in the truck once, and just recently in the office down in the horse barn. The beginnings of a stir sizzled down the length of Caleb’s cock as he remembered Jake going at him from behind that afternoon, slamming Caleb into the door, taking him roughly and challenging him to hold in his cries of delight so that nobody on the other side of the thick piece of wood would know what they did. Caleb managed to keep his lip bitten down through the pleasure, but in the end, Jake shouted hoarsely at completion, punching his fist into the door as he fought the power of his own orgasm. When they emerged afterward, everyone working in or near the horse barn applauded and hooted, and gave some good-natured ribbing about reporting slackers on the job before everyone got back to work. Garment bag draped over his arm, Jake looked up right then, catching Caleb’s gaze. He looked down at the erection trying to emerge from Caleb’s nest of curls, and clearly, without thinking, took a step

forward. Just as quickly, he pulled up short, frustration burning in his eyes. “No. We have people expecting us.” He pointed at Caleb, and beyond. “Go. I’m not coaxing the rest of that wood out right now, so quit trying to tease me with it. I’ll be downstairs in twenty minutes. You’d better be too. Dressed. I love you like this” -- he swept his free hand up and down Caleb’s nudity -- “but there’s gonna be kids at the party. And besides” -- that damn glint of possessive fire burned in Jake’s green eyes, making Caleb shiver -- “I don’t share what’s mine. This view is only for me. Go. Take. A. Shower. Now.” With one more pointed look, Jake left the room. Chuckling, Caleb fingered the new piece of hardware on his left hand, and did as ordered. ***** Jake stomped his feet on the back porch of Connor and Cassie’s home, and bit down a curse of discomfort for the way his dress shoes crushed his toes together most uncomfortably. Damn things. Cassie wanted everyone dressed up today, though, so Jake wouldn’t complain. Out loud, anyway. He followed Caleb into the mudroom, where they paused to remove their heavy coats. Caleb threw his on the washing machine, and Jake did the same. Brushing a dusting of snow out of his hair, Jake glanced up at the man two feet away from him, standing before him looking so damn elegant that it took his breath away. “God, baby, you know I love my cowboy” -- Jake smoothed out the shoulders of Caleb’s black suit -- “but you clean up damn nice too.” His fingers drifted down Caleb’s crisp white shirt and subtly patterned tie. He let his hands linger on the hard stomach concealed behind the fabric. “I think I can almost picture the sight you made all those years ago when wearing fancy clothes was normal everyday stuff.” “Thanks.” Jake thought he saw a hint of red creep over Caleb’s cheekbones, but it just as easily could have been the biting cold in the December air. “You look real handsome too.” Caleb curled his hand around the one Jake had resting against his belly, and gave it a soothing rub. “You sure you’re gonna be okay here?” he asked, emotion thickening his voice. Bringing Jake’s hand to his mouth,

Caleb brushed a kiss full of empathy over the band on Jake’s finger. “I know how much you miss her today.” A wash of memories of his wife coated Jake, momentarily overtaking him. Now, though, thoughts of Krista provided Jake with an extra layer of warmth, not the dull ache of loss that he knew would have crippled him on this day one year ago. Every day that went by now, with Caleb at his side, Jake felt more and more certain that Krista had brought this man into his life. She wanted Jake not only to have joy for himself once again, but she somehow learned about Caleb, and knew he needed Jake just as much. “You listen to me.” Jake cupped Caleb’s face, tilting it up until their gazes connected. “You have given me a beautiful Christmas morning. Since finding you, I’ve looked forward to this day again, the way I used to before losing her. Your family is exactly the kind of people she would have loved --” “They’re your family too now. And hers.” Tears pushed at Jake to get out, needful of an outlet for this fierce, almost primal, love he felt for this man. “That’s exactly my point. Everyone around us embraces us, and her. They do it so effortlessly that I don’t have any room for sorrow or fear. Just celebration. And lots of love.” “You have that.” Caleb’s eyes drifted closed as he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Jake’s lips. “You have that forever.” Jake pulled back and smoothed the pads of his thumbs over Caleb’s cheeks, loving the pulse of warmth and life that flowed in him whenever he touched Caleb. “I’m glad to hear you say that without that hesitation I used to hear in your voice.” He slid his hands down Caleb’s back and yanked the man to him in a hard, suffocating hug. “I think you’re really starting to believe it.” “You make me believe it.” Caleb burrowed into Jake and snaked his hands under his suit jacket, wrapping him in a snug embrace around the waist. “Every day we’re together my faith grows a little bit more.”

“Good. That’s what I want to hear.” Jake dipped down and pressed a tender kiss against Caleb’s temple, and let his lips linger. These days, it seemed like he needed some kind of connection to Caleb every hour of the day, no matter where they were. He figured people would probably say it wasn’t healthy, but he had lost his wife, damn it, so he knew not to let moments like this pass without appreciating them. Caleb often seemed to need the constant touching and togetherness too, so Jake didn’t worry about it. Their relationship worked for them, and Jake didn’t give a shit about anything else. “Jake! Jake! Jake!” A feminine voice, still a little on the high side, had Jake and Caleb reluctantly sliding apart. Seconds later, from through the kitchen of Connor and Cassie’s home, the door burst open, and there appeared Ruby, a bundle of contained energy. “I’ve been watching for you from the window, but you didn’t come in after I saw your truck.” She turned her head and flashed Caleb a fast smile. “Hi, Caleb.” “Hey there, darlin’. Merry Christmas.” A fresh wave of tenderness hit Jake as Caleb leaned down and pecked a sweet kiss on the girl’s forehead. Then he gave a little tug to the ends of her blonde hair. “Did you get anything good from Santa today?” “Oh please.” She rolled her eyes. “I do not believe in Santa anymore. I’m way too old for that.” “Well, that’s up to you.” Caleb shrugged his shoulders and slipped his hands into his pants pockets. The gesture drew back his coat, putting his sexy waist and slim hips on display in a way that made Jake hungry. “I’ll have to send Santa an e-mail and have him reroute your gifts to me next year.” Ruby stood her ground. “I already know what reverse psychology is too. You’re not gonna fool me.” Jake chuckled. “I guess she’s just too smart for you, babe.” Ah, to be fourteen and know everything. “Maybe she didn’t need that lens we gave her for her camera, after all.” “Ooh, ooh, no. I totally did.” Caleb and Jake had given the girl her gift a few weeks ago, as she had waxed on about desiring this particular

camera lens one day when they had dinner at Duke and Risa’s home. After everything the girl had gone through that day with Gabriel, Caleb and Jake wanted to give her a little something extra special. “I printed all the pictures I took when I visited Mom the other day. I actually think the one I took of you came out really, really good. I want you to see. That’s why I was waiting for you.” She grabbed Jake’s hand and started to tug. “I brought it with me, and I want you to see it. Come on.”

Jake looked back at Caleb as Ruby pulled him inside, a patient twinkle lighting his green eyes. Caleb rushed forward on impulse and fused his mouth to Jake’s one more time, needing the warmth and connection that had been inches away from happening a few moments ago. He gave Jake those fast kisses that he loved to receive so much, their lips clinging on the last one, tingling Caleb’s lips with life. Very reluctantly, Caleb released his hold on Jake. “Have fun.” He let Ruby have her time with her newest crush. Caleb could handle it. Hell, he had the same crush, so he knew just where the girl’s feelings came from. “I’ll see you in a bit.” Jake winked, conveying intentions that were not for the eyes of children, before disappearing into the small crowd. Rubbing his heart to control the pounding, Caleb went in search of his brothers. ***** Caleb leaned back against the sideboard, empty of food now, and took a slow slip of his beer. There was another new thing in his life: he could get drunk. After feeling the effects of that the first time it happened a month or so ago, Caleb didn’t do anything but nurse his alcohol these days. Even if his man was the designated driver tonight. With a brother on each side, Caleb took in the intimate crowd gathered together to celebrate Christmas. Sprawled out on the floor, Connor and Cassie’s son and oldest daughter had Ren and Cade locked in a mean game of Candyland. Judging by a high squeal of delight, his niece just won the game. Ruby had snagged Mavis Pritchard and Hank, showing them her portfolio of pictures. Caleb chuckled as Ruby found her match in Hank. The man looked like he

had a half dozen questions -- or very likely comments -- each time she turned the page in her album and showed a new photo. Luke and Risa’s mother, Jean, had little Brynn in her lap, giggling and gurgling every time Ty used the handhold to pop wheelies with Jean’s wheelchair, to the obvious delight of both of its occupants. Duke sat in an overstuffed chair with Risa on his lap, his arms encircling her waist. He whispered something in her ear, and she nodded in response, turning to press a soft kiss to his cheek before snuggling into him more comfortably and watching the rest of the room, as Caleb did. Caleb’s gaze automatically drifted to Jake, where he stood in conversation with Cassie and Luke. He had his arms crossed, and Caleb’s heart raced with true belonging as the light caught the glint of gold highlighted against his charcoal suit. Just as Caleb swallowed thickly, thinking about how they had celebrated that exchange of gifts earlier, Jake looked up and caught Caleb’s stare. He didn’t say anything, but he dropped his arms and clasped his hands together, fingering the metal encircling his digits. Caleb could see the flare of heat from nearly a dozen feet away, and he swore Jake sent him a mental picture of how they would spend the rest of the evening when they got home. Perspiration broke out on Caleb’s neck under his dress shirt. Next to Caleb, Cain burst out with laughter, and thumped Caleb hard in the shoulder. “I know that look, brother.” Cain’s attention went from Caleb, to Jake, and then back to Caleb. “I love that look. I’ve been lucky enough to get it from Luke plenty of times since we’ve been together. I’m damned glad you’ve finally found someone who loves you that much to look at you that way too.” “Yeah,” Connor seconded. Caleb watched his older brother’s gaze find his wife’s. Passion, more than a decade later, openly shone for Cassie in his dark eyes, hot enough to charge the air around them. “You threw us for a bit of a loop by falling for a man, but Jake’s a great guy, and I can’t doubt for a second that he loves you and would do anything for you. That’s all I ever wanted for the both of you when we became brothers.”

Caleb looked around the room again, taking in the sights and sounds of what made a family -- a real family -- and his heart filled to overflowing. “Did you ever think when we came here with the plan to try our hand at being cowboys that we would end up with all of this?” “I didn’t know a woman like Cassandra existed until I met her and she took over my life,” Connor said, his voice gruff. “So no, I for damn sure didn’t.” “Me either,” Cain answered. Certainly without realizing it, he rubbed his hand over his lower belly, and Caleb knew he touched the permanent mark of the torture he’d had to endure in order to become human. “To think that I could not only fall in love with Luke, but then find a way to live with him openly…” He shook his head, and looked at Caleb. “How ’bout you? Did you ever think, in your most secret of hearts, that this would happen for you?” “No,” Caleb admitted, but only that. He might tell his brothers about Daphne and the prostituting one day, but right now he had acceptance from the only one that truly mattered: Jake. “But I’ll take him.” He slid his beer to his lips to cover his small smile. “And keep him. For as long as he’ll have me.” “Gotta imagine that’s gonna be a long time,” Cain said. He looked pointedly at the hand wrapped around the beer bottle. “You can’t really think no one has noticed the wedding bands on yours and Jake’s fingers. I know I didn’t get an invite.” Cain leaned forward in an exaggerated pose, looking around Caleb to Connor. “What about you, Con? Yours get lost in the mail too?” “Yup.” Connor’s rugged face remained deadpan. “Must have. We give good gift too, so I gotta wonder why.” “Shut up, the both of you.” Caleb’s face flamed with heat. The redness came out of an embarrassment of riches though, not any sense of hiding or fear of ridicule. “It’s something just for me and Jake. I made Jake take out his old wedding band and put it back on his ring finger. Krista is such a part of his life, and since I know the importance of that symbol to the both of you… Anyway, he slipped it on his right hand instead of his left, and said he would only wear hers if he wore mine too.” A lump formed in Caleb’s throat, making it hurt

to breathe, as it had done on that day. “I’ve never felt so damn cherished in my life as I did in that moment. Anyway, we bought the rings independent of each other, and exchanged them this morning.” They had both ended up choosing a matte 18k gold band. “I don’t want anyone else, but I don’t need to go to another state and make it legal, either. We know what it means, and that’s all that matters.” “Damn it.” Connor put his drink down and turned away. “Give me a minute. I fucking have something in my eye.” “Must be the damn glitter on all the Christmas decorations,” Cain muttered, wiping too. “Bound to get in and cause irritation.” “You’re a couple of damned pussies, is what you are.” Caleb wrapped an arm around each brother’s shoulders and drew them into a tight circle. He slipped his fingers into each man’s hair and pulled them close, until their foreheads rested against each other’s. “I love you both, and I thank God every day that Connor saved me” -- he kissed the man’s rough cheek -- “and that we then both found you.” He shifted into Cain and pressed a peck on him too. “I wouldn’t have wanted to live all this time without you guys at my side, and I don’t think I could have let myself fall in love with Jake without the model of the both of you to admire and emulate. I don’t say shit like that often enough, but don’t think that means I don’t feel it. I do. Every damn day, I do.” “Me too,” Connor added, squeezing them tight with his thick, muscular arms. “Me three,” Cain said, drawing the rough sounds of groans and chuckling from his brothers. A soothing, familiar hand rubbed across Caleb’s upper back, breaking up the impromptu hug. “Everything okay?” Jake’s voice reached in and snagged Caleb’s heart. He lifted his head and saw the man at his side, concern filling his gaze. From the corner of his eye, he saw Luke and Cassie had walked over with Jake, and offered comfort to their mates in similar gestures. Connor already had Cassie against his chest with his chin

resting on top of her head, while Cain had Luke tucked against his side. His brothers. His own special family. His happiness. All gathered here in this one room. Caleb turned to Jake and slipped his arms around the man’s waist. Looking up at him, he let everything he felt in that moment shine bright in his eyes. The answering light in Jake’s gaze, the promise of a future glowing there, matched what Connor and Cassie, and Cain and Luke had, even if he and Jake had stumbled into this love in their own unique way. “I’m damn near perfect, sweetheart,” Caleb vowed. “How about you?” “The same.” Intention lit fire in those green depths, and lips descended to brush against Caleb’s. “Couldn’t ask for more than you.” “Me either.” Smiling as it happened, Caleb accepted the slow, deep kiss. From Jake Chase. The man he loved. THE END

Cameron Dane

I am an air force brat and spent most of my growing up years living overseas in Italy and England, as well as Florida, Georgia, Ohio, and Virginia while we were stateside. I now live in Florida once again with my big, wonderfully pushy family and my three-legged cat, Harry. I have been reading romance novels since I was twelve years old, and twenty years later I still adore them. Currently, I have an unexplainable obsession with hockey goaltenders, and an unabashed affection for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I’d love to hear from you! Visit me on the Web at http://www.camerondane.com.