Lords of Kellesborne

LORDS OF KELLESBORNE …Keiran kissed his lover again, then turned Gaige and pushed him against one of the massive tree trunks, lust and love spiraling at his deepest core, driving him beyond all need for civility. Gaige anchored his hands on it without question and spread his legs as best he could with his pants around his thighs. Keiran pushed his lover’s cloak to the side, exposing the pale flesh of his ass. The sight, intimate and sexy, only fueled the fire burning in Keiran. He stroked the muscular globes, eliciting grunts of appreciation from Gaige that were obvious pleasure, not pain. When he slid a finger along his crease and pressed the tip against the tight ring of muscle, the grunts grew breathless and pleading. The sounds, erotic as hel, almost undid him—his cock wept in response, wanting to be buried in that welcoming hole. But first things first… He dropped to his knees and pressed his face against the cool, damp skin. With a sense of urgency, he kissed and licked over each of the bold red welts, the thin, raised, angry cuts, and the yellowish-green bruises that marred what should have been smooth perfection. It took all his control to keep his fury at Byram, the fucking evil bastard, under a tight leash. Instead, he directed that energy at covering every mark with his own more intimate attention. Gaige made soft moaning noises in the back of his throat as Keiran worked, but didn’t move, as if

he needed this as much as Keiran did. Never again would anyone touch his mate but him, Keiran thought fiercely. Never again…

ALSO BY M. L. RHODES After Hours Always The Bodyguard The Bounty Hunter Couplings Falling Hearts & Bones Heat Magic Masks Never Let Go Night Shadows Out of My Mind The Professor’s Secret Passion Souls Deep Take It On Faith True Of Heart Well Hung

LORDS OF KELLESBORNE BY M. L. RHODES

AMBER QUILL PRESS, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com

LORDS OF KELLESBORNE AN AMBER QUILL PRESS BOOK This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental. Amber Quill Press, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review. Copyright © 2008 by M. L. Rhodes ISBN 978-1-60272-184-5 Cover Art © 2008 Trace Edward Zaber

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PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

LORDS OF KELLESBORNE

PROLOGUE

100 years ago Byram, high sorcerer and self-proclaimed ruler of Velensperia, stood with his most trusted captain at the crest of the hill overlooking the charred remains of the draegan village below. The location for the first strike in his war had not been chosen at random. It was the misfortune of the village, called Ilyrie, that the reigning draegan lord and accompanying entourage had been traveling through the northern lands and had chosen to stay the night here. Though in the end it mattered little, since the village would have fallen regardless, 1

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as Byram’s troops struck hard and fast at every draegan town in the realm. With the death of the draegan leader and all the members of the draegan high council, the draegans’ infrastructure was already in shambles. In another few hours, the entire great race who’d lived in and flown over Velensperia for millennia would be reduced to a scant few prisoners under Byram’s control. In the first pale light of the winter dawn, gray wisps of smoke still curled toward the sky, like forsaken ghosts seeking a celestial heaven that didn’t exist. Not unlike the magnificent creatures his army had just slain, Byram thought with satisfaction. Creatures whose souls also no doubt wended their way heavenward on the same foolish quest…a search for the peace and sanctity of the afterlife. Byram didn’t believe in such nonsense. What mattered was life here and now, in this existence…and making sure it was as long and powerful and profitable as possible. “A pity,” he said. “My lord?” “The draegans are a beautiful race, both in their winged and human forms. A pity to have to do away with them. But like the dispatching of Velensperia’s unimaginative former king, eliminating the draegans is a necessary exercise, done for the greater good.” He pushed back the hood of his heavy velvet cloak so he could better see the handiwork of his troops in the gray morning light. “Always remember, my friend, that there is nothing more 2

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important than preserving one’s position. The death of the draegan race will ensure my own longevity. A hundred years from now—two hundred!—I will still rule these lands and all the beings in it. All will bow to me, and I will be the most powerful ruler Velensperia has ever known. None will dare to cross me, and, in time, the farthest reaches of this world will also be in my hands.” “It is possible some of the draegans could escape our raiding parties, my lord. Shall I send out assassins to hunt those who’ve evaded our troops?” Byram studied the smoldering village below him and narrowed his obsidian gaze. “Yes.” He stroked his meticulously neat beard. “Yes, indeed. Though they’ve been peaceful for the past centuries, the draegans can be fierce foes if crossed. I cannot risk leaving any alive to rally against me. If they were to realize the truth, their retribution would be swift and deadly. I won’t allow that to happen. Only a handful of the healthiest breeding females and the youngest children are to be taken alive. Have them transported to the facilities in the outer realms as planned. Kill the rest.” “As you wish, my lord.” The captain bowed his head, his long, pale blond hair blowing in the cold dawn breeze. Byram smiled at the sight and cupped a hand under the man’s strong, elegant chin, tipping his face up. “You’ll be well rewarded for your loyalty and service, Captain Rizik.” The ice-blue orbs glittered with pleasure…and a flare of raw desire. “My only wish is to please you, my lord.” “Oh, and you do,” Byram murmured, stroking his thumb 3

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along the pale, stubbled skin of the man’s jaw, then dragging it over his full lips. “You certainly do.” He pulled the captain’s tall, powerful body against him and crushed the chilled lips with his own, driving his tongue into the depths of the other man’s mouth, stroking, thrusting, biting until he tasted the sharp tang of blood. The man’s eager, lecherous growl sent powerful bursts of heat pumping through Byram’s veins and into his cock. He reveled in the knowledge that he owned this man, not only on the battlefield, but also in his bed chamber. The blondhaired beauty had caught his eye some two years past, and Byram had known he’d have the man in his bed by nightfall. The captain had not disappointed him and, mere human though he was, he had, in fact, surpassed Byram’s wildest dreams. The captain belonged to him now, body and soul, having sworn a sacred blood-magick oath to that effect the very first night. But in addition to the man’s freely given loyalty, Byram took singular delight in the fact he could touch and torture and fuck him in any way he saw fit, at any time he saw fit, and never receive a protest in return. Everard Rizik’s appetites— both his hunger for power and his boundless and carnal physical cravings—matched his own on every level, fulfilling Byram in a way no one else ever had or could—though he’d never tell the man as much. It wasn’t healthy to give a subject that kind of power over one’s self. Still, when the time was right, Byram would indeed reward him for his many talents. Soon he would promote the man to 4

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the rank of general. Then, when he completed the ritual that would guarantee his own long life, he’d include his lover as well. Everard Rizik would never leave him, never betray him. And together they would surge over the lands of Velensperia and devour any being that stood in their path.

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CHAPTER 1

Present day Ethereal light from the two sister moons, Halla and Ell, shone through the enormous window, flooding the lord’s chamber of the ancient draegan stronghold of Kellesborne. It crept into every corner and glistened off the polished stone floor, chasing away shadows and leaving the room bathed in a silver-gold glow. Keiran Hareldson, leader of the hardscrabble remnants of the draegan people, stood lost in thought, gazing out at the autumn night without really seeing it. Though exhaustion weighted him down, and he ached 6

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from the wound he’d taken in the chest the previous morning from General Rizik’s sword, he couldn’t rest or even close his eyes. Each time he’d tried, concern for his people, and especially for his mate, ate at him until he thought he’d lose his mind. So here he’d stood for long hours, sometimes pacing, sometimes staring out at the valley floor far below the mountain, and always listening to every nuance of his mate’s distressed breathing, feeling each agony and pain his mate suffered deep within his own body and soul. Keiran had done everything he could for him, including praying to gods he’d thought he’d given up on, and knew it was now a waiting game. But the waiting and watching, the ragged guilt he hadn’t done enough, that he’d let this happen in the first place, and the fear that he might never see those blue eyes he so loved open again, were all an agonizing form of torment. He’d come to Kellesborne days ago, seeking a measure of peace inside its great stone walls that, for Keiran, still echoed with the spirits and strength of the draegan lords of old. And for one brief night he’d found it—or at least he’d wanted to believe he had. But it had been short-lived, and so much had happened since then it felt as if weeks had passed rather than days. Based on recent events, Keiran knew another war with High Sorcerer Byram was imminent. Up until now, his band of draegans had led raids against Byram’s hoarded foodstores and livestock, seeking to feed the draegans and humans of Velensperia who had long gone hungry while Byram and his 7

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soldiers dined on the finest meals and drank the best ales and wines. If the raids had also proven to be a pain in the high sorcerer’s backside, then that had been all the better. But the intent had merely been to take back the bare basics needed for survival, the basics too long denied the common folk since Byram had taken control of the land a century ago. All that had changed, though, after Gaige’s arrival. Gaige Rizik, captain of Byram’s High Guard—the elite force that protected the high sorcerer and his fortress at Thrythgar—son of General Everard Rizik, and otherwise known to all of Velensperia as the White Panther for the white-blond hair he’d inherited from his father, and the way he stalked his prey with cold, lethal skill. The White Panther, like his father and the high sorcerer himself, had, for years, struck fear in the peoples of Velensperia. His last assignment had been to secretly infiltrate the main draegan encampment, find the leader of the so-called draegan “rebels,” bring his head to Byram, and burn the camp to the ground, along with all its draegan and humansympathizer inhabitants. But the one thing Byram and General Rizik hadn’t counted on was that buried deep beneath the White Panther’s icy, aloof veneer, which he wore like a protective armor against the sorcerer’s and his father’s dictatorial control, was a heart. A heart that beat steady and true and, when finally freed from the confines of Byram’s and the general’s heavy-handed rule, held a shocking wealth of compassion. It had been Gaige’s compassion that had first caught 8

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Keiran’s eye, well before he’d realized who the stranger in camp really was. It had been his compassion that had caused Keiran to offer the man his trust. A trust that could have been used with ease against Keiran and his people. Gaige had had ample opportunity to betray Keiran and the draegans to the high sorcerer—which was the job Byram had given him to do. And yet he hadn’t. Not even in Byram’s dungeon under torture had Gaige given up the draegans’ secrets. He’d suffered so much—too much, Keiran thought, with a sick ache in his gut. The price Gaige had paid for betraying the sorcerer had been high. Keiran just prayed it hadn’t been too high. And now, with their escape from Thrythgar happening the way it had, with Keiran not only having to take winged form, but being forced to reveal his true nature in order to get them out alive, Byram had already, no doubt, put two and two together. His anger that a firebreather still lived would be swift and fierce. Especially given the added blows Keiran and Gaige had landed—they’d stolen Byram’s grimoire, and Gaige had killed General Rizik. The high sorcerer would be obsessed with once and for all destroying every last draegan in Velensperia. The time for raids was over. Full-fledged war was upon them, and the weight of his people’s lives, their very right to exist, lay heavily on Keiran’s shoulders. The sound of restless stirring and a soft, pained moan sent a frisson of worry through him and caused him to turn away from the window to study the huge, silver and blue draped bed 9

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in the center of the massive room. It was followed by another that sounded as if it had been scratched past a raw throat. He crossed to the bed and sank onto the edge of it, reaching out to brush long, silken strands of pale blond hair off the forehead and sculpted cheekbones of the man who lay twisted in the sheets. The poison that had invaded Gaige’s body had had hours to take root before Keiran had even realized what had happened. And he knew it would be hours before the herbs he’d applied to the wound would counter it…if he hadn’t been too late. After everything Gaige had been through over the past days, after the things Byram had done to him… Gods, please, I can’t lose him now. Keiran plucked the damp, cool cloth out of the basin next to the bed and brushed it over his lover’s heated skin, careful not to irritate the still-angry cuts and welts and bruises courtesy of the sorcerer. He gritted his teeth against the fury boiling like hot magma in his gut at what Byram had done. It wasn’t just the vivid, angry display on Gaige’s body that filled Keiran with bloodlust…it was the knowledge of the other horrors the sorcerer had inflicted on his lover. Byram had violated Gaige in every possible way, invading his body, toying with his mind, and though Gaige had yet to face it, Keiran knew eventually the emotional trauma would catch up to him as well. He was a strong man; only someone of amazing fortitude in body and spirit could have survived what had been done to 10

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him. But he’d barely escaped the dungeon, and now this…fighting for his life once again. And once again Keiran felt powerless. He hadn’t gotten there in time to protect his mate from the sorcerer’s torture, and now he feared he might not have been in time to help him fight this new threat invading his system. Gaige moaned again and rolled to his side, then to his back. “Stay with me,” Keiran murmured. “Stay with me and fight.” He pressed the fingertips of one hand against his lover’s forehead and whispered several words in draega, calling upon an old, soothing bit of magick he had a faint memory of his mother using on him as a child when he’d been ill or suffered from nightmares. He hadn’t thought of it in many long years, but being here, at Kellesborne, stirred old memories, and he found the words still lingered in his head even after all this time. Within moments Gaige calmed and his breathing grew more even. “Thank you,” Keiran whispered into the silence of the abandoned stronghold, feeling the soft presence of his mother’s spirit nearby. *

*

*

When Keiran opened his eyes, the gray chill of cloudy daylight greeted him. He’d slept at last, without realizing it had happened. But 11

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now, feeling the warm, heavy weight of Gaige’s body next to his in the bed, awareness came rushing back, along with all the worries and fears that had haunted him before he’d closed his eyes. He rolled to his side to find Gaige had turned in his sleep and lay facing him, his head pillowed on one hand. His breathing was still even, and when Keiran brushed a hand against his pale, blond-stubbled cheek, he found it warm, but not unnaturally so. Had he beaten the poison? For the first time in almost two days, a flicker of hope dared to stir in Keiran’s chest. When the other man’s lashes fluttered and his eyes opened, the flicker blossomed into a full-fledged ball of warmth. The cerulean depths of Gaige’s eyes, still a little glassy from the fever, but otherwise coherent, drew Keiran in until he thought he could drown in them. “I was dreaming,” Gaige murmured, his voice soft and raspy, barely above a whisper. “Of what?” “Of flames…golden-orange, reaching skyward, surrounding Thrythgar and creeping closer and closer to it.” Keiran gazed at him, wondering if it was a portent of things to come. “I always thought draegans breathing fire was a myth,” Gaige said. “Until I saw you do it when we escaped.” Uneasiness stirred in Keiran. He wondered how much Gaige knew, or if he might suspect the truth. But he felt nothing more from his mate than simple surprise to have 12

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discovered a fairy tale was fact. After Byram had almost destroyed the draegan race, he’d made a point of having all written documents about the race destroyed as well. He’d labeled the draegans vicious killers. His motive for almost obliterating the draegans in the first place had been the false charge that the shapeshifters had brutally killed dozens of human children. The lie, spread with vicious glee by the sorcerer himself, had terrified the humans so much that when Byram vowed to hunt down all draegans and execute them, the humans had given him their full vote of confidence. He’d forbidden the telling of stories or singing of songs that portrayed Keiran’s race in any light except the one he perpetuated. Certainly tales had been told anyway—not all the humans had believed Byram’s propaganda—but over time, with the few remaining draegans in hiding, those humans who’d been alive to know the truth passed on, and the stories had become little more than myths and legends with only partial grains of truth at their root. “Not a myth,” Keiran said. “Though not common either. Just a few of us are able to breathe fire. And even rarer are the times we choose to—only under the most dire of circumstances.” Gaige nodded, a pained, faraway look on his face that told Keiran he was remembering their escape. Keiran sat up and filled a pottery mug with water from the flagon on the bedside table, then helped Gaige raise up and drink. When his lover had finished, he brushed the hair off 13

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Gaige’s forehead in a soft caress. “How are you feeling?” Gaige shifted position and grimaced. “For some reason I can’t comprehend, since it seems as if I’ve slept for ages, I feel worse now than when I went to sleep.” “The arrow you took in your shoulder was tipped with slow-acting poison.” “Damn. Drensegar root.” Keiran nodded, guilt twisting his insides. “I was able to counteract it, but it was close. I should have suspected it when I was cleaning the wound. By the time I realized what was happening, you were already unconscious and suffering.” “No, I should have thought of it,” Gaige said, disgust evident on his tired, pale face. “It’s one of my father’s favorite tricks in battle…that way, even if someone survives, if they’re injured at all, they die a slow, painful death later. I should have known he would have ordered it. How long was I out?” “Almost two days.” Gaige’s expression filled with terror. “Two days? Keiran, has the camp been warned about what happened? Do they know Byram’s going to be coming? Please tell me you didn’t stay here to try to save me instead of going to save the others.” “The camp will be okay,” Keiran soothed. “Jax and Marta are there to watch over it, and they put up a magick barrier to hide it the moment you and I left to come here to Kellesborne days ago. Plus, it was better we didn’t go there right away, that we stayed here and laid low, to throw off the trail for Byram’s hunters. Everything will be fine. Byram doesn’t know where the camp is, and it’s hidden from sight, so he’s not going to 14

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know.” His words didn’t seem to be reassuring Gaige. In truth, they did little to reassure him either, but he had to make Gaige believe. He wouldn’t let Gaige try to blame himself. “You shouldn’t have stayed here with me,” Gaige whispered, shaking his head. “My life isn’t worth risking everyone else’s. You should have gone to them and left me.” Emotion churned in Keiran, all the angst of the past days coming to a head inside him. He cupped Gaige’s cheek in his palm. The words, when he spoke, came from deep in his heart, and though he tried to hide it, even he could hear the raw and desperate emotion laced through them. “Let’s not go through this again. I’m not leaving you, Gaige. And I’m not going to lose you. You hear me?” He pressed his lips against Gaige’s forehead, then against his warm and still slightly fevered lips. “I need you, m’aerlas. Like I need the air to breathe.” “M’aerlas?” “Beloved.” “Keiran…” His name was a sigh edged with worry and fear, yet also replete with love. “Don’t ever ask me again to leave you…here or anywhere. It’s a battle you won’t win.” “You’re a stubborn fool.” Keiran pulled back to look at the man he loved, would give his life for. Once again he found himself lost in those expressive eyes. While General Rizik’s had been blue like winter ice, piercing and hard, Gaige’s were like a cloudless spring day, filled with warmth and promise. “Stubborn, 15

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maybe. But never a fool.” “Gods, I love you,” Gaige said, his voice soft and husky. “And I, you.” “Thank you for saving my life yet again.” “Thank you for saving mine.” Keiran waited to see a flash of pain in Gaige’s expression at the reminder Gaige had taken his own father’s life to save Keiran’s. But it never came. No hint of regret invaded his visage, nor did Keiran feel any when he gently probed his mate through the emotional connection they shared. “You’re welcome. But if you’re going to insist on never leaving me behind, even when logic dictates you should…” He gave Keiran a meaningful look, but followed it with a soft smile that curled tendrils of warmth in Keiran’s soul. “Then it’s only fair you know I’ll always have your back, Keiran.” A lump filled Keiran’s throat. “I know.” “We still have to warn the camp.” “And we will. As soon as you’re well enough to travel.” “I’m well enough now. I’m a soldier, remember? I don’t need to be coddled.” “I know you don’t,” Keiran told him, stroking his hair. “But we can’t travel until nightfall anyway. It would be too risky this close to Thrythgar. Which means, whether you like it or not, you’re stuck here with me for a while longer, since by my reckoning it’s early morning right now.” “I don’t mind being here with you. I just hate that it’s another wasted day.” “We won’t waste it.” 16

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“Byram’s book? Have you looked at it? Found anything helpful?” “It had a magick seal on it the likes I’d never seen before. I did get it open, but…” He shook his head. “I’ve looked through it, and it’s written in a language I don’t even recognize.” Gaige sighed. “Damn it all. I know that grimoire holds secrets that can help us fight Byram. Is it some type of magick language, you think?” “I’m not sure. And I haven’t found anything in the library here at Kellesborne that’s revealed anything helpful about it.” “So we look some more.” “We will. But first things first. Do you think you can sit up? If so, I know something that may help your aches and pains.” “Yeah…I can sit.” Gaige winced and Keiran noticed he was hardly able to stifle a groan as he started to push himself up. He pressed him back onto the bed. “Not just yet. Relax for a bit and let me get some things ready.” He brushed a kiss against Gaige’s forehead and smiled at him, then rose from the bed. “I’ll be right back.” *

*

*

Gaige watched Keiran cross the room and, even as tired and awful as he felt, he couldn’t help but admire the sight of the draegan who’d so quickly become the center of his world. Dressed only in brown leather pants and a soft, loose-fitting 17

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white shirt, barefoot, with his shoulder-length dark hair wavy, tousled and hanging loose, and several days stubble on his face, Keiran looked warm and alive, and radiated confidence and comforting strength. He looked back over his shoulder at Gaige before he exited a small doorway set into one of the white stone castle’s interior walls, and his easy smile and silver-gray eyes filled Gaige with a deep-down heat and contentment that still shocked him. Growing up and working at Thrythgar under Byram’s and his father’s heavy hands for the thirty-odd years of his life hadn’t made for any moments of open warmth and emotional fulfillment. Until he’d met the draegans and moved into their camp, he’d never known the pleasure of true friendship, had never experienced real intimacy or love in a coupling. Keiran had unlocked something deep inside him that he’d never known even existed. Something that both exhilarated and terrified him in equal measure because of its intensity. What he and Keiran shared went beyond anything Gaige had ever imagined, but it also went beyond anything the average human or draegan experienced as well. Their “joining” had been destined—a “true-mating” the draegans called it—a rarity even among the draegan people. And now they were linked together physically, mentally, and emotionally in a bond Gaige suspected he hadn’t yet even begun to comprehend. He just knew there were times he could feel Keiran…in his mind, his body, ribboning through his consciousness even when Keiran wasn’t with him, though it was even stronger when he was. Right now he had a sense of 18

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Keiran’s presence nearby, like a fine, gossamer thread linking them. He readjusted himself in the bed, finding another, more comfortable position that put less stress on his battered body. With the soft bedding cradling him, he fought the urge to close his eyes again. He’d done his stoic best to sound convincing when he’d told Keiran he could travel, but in truth, he was still lightheaded from the fever, and his body felt as if it had been dragged through a nest of vipers and each one had bitten him hard and deep, over and over with a vengeance, leaving him as little more than a battered, poisoned sack of skin and bones. He grimaced when he realized his analogy wasn’t far from the truth. Except in his reality the vipers had names…High Sorcerer Byram and Everard Rizik. As he gave up the battle and closed his eyes, seeking only a few more minutes of rest, instead what filled his mind was a memory. A memory of the moment up on the battlement at Thrythgar when he and Keiran were escaping and he’d thrown Keiran’s long knife and struck his father in the throat. He remembered the blood, the look of shock on General Rizik’s face as he stared up at Gaige, and how he’d experienced absolutely no emotion when his father fell. Still didn’t. It seemed odd to feel so distant from it. Shouldn’t he feel something? But perhaps he’d shut his father out so long ago there’d been no emotion left to expend on the man. You’re lying. The words and brutal tone of the voice in his head 19

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blindsided him with the power of a punch. No, I feel nothing, he insisted. Yes, you do. Why are you lying to yourself? What’s the matter…can’t face the truth? The voice, mocking and arrogant, gave birth to tight bands around Gaige’s lungs. Bands that began to squeeze…and squeeze. You know the truth. You can’t hide it from yourself and you won’t be able to hide it from Keiran. He thinks you have a good heart, thinks you’re filled with compassion and kindness, and that all those years you worked for Byram as the White Panther, you secretly hated it, that it was all a mask you wore to keep Byram and your father from finding out you were really a good person. It was, and I am, he thought back at the taunting nemesis that dwelled within him. Lies. You know there was a time you loved the kill, enjoyed it. I was young and foolish, he protested. You’re not young now and you still feel it. Keiran’s going to find out, and do you think he’s going to want to be mated to one such as you? No, it wasn’t the truth. Liar. Deceiver. Murderer. You know the truth. The memories ripped through him, filling his veins with ice and searing them with fire at the same time. In Byram’s dungeon torture chamber, while his father had stood by without once protesting or trying to stop it, or even having the 20

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consideration to leave while it was happening, but instead had watched, with an eager gleam in his eye, every despicable, evil thing Byram had done to Gaige, Gaige had felt emotion toward the man. Raw, unfettered hatred such as he’d never before experienced in his life. It had surged through him, directed at the man who’d sired him but who’d admitted he’d gladly have killed Gaige as an infant, as he’d killed Gaige’s mother. During those hours of pain and humiliation and degradation, his rage at his father, even more than at Byram, was what had kept him fighting, kept him alive. He’d held no secret hope that Keiran would come for him, had, in fact, done his damnedest to hide his path and motives from Keiran. He’d been certain that even if Keiran searched for him, and maybe even eventually discovered what had happened to him, it would be well after Byram had tortured him beyond all sanity and he’d long be dead. No…the one thing Gaige had stayed alive for was the hope that, before he died, he’d have an opportunity to take his father into the fires of hel with him. You wanted him dead. You wanted to kill him with your own hands, to destroy him, and watch the light in his eyes fade, with him knowing you, the son he’d been forced to let live and had hated and resented from the beginning, had been his downfall. You wanted to murder him. You imagined it, thought about how good it would feel, how much power you’d have at last over him. And then you did it. “Oh, gods,” Gaige whispered, his gut roiling at the sick 21

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honesty. He scrambled to drag himself out of bed before he lost the contents of his stomach. As he fell to his knees on the floor, he could almost feel the voice inside him laughing in disdain at his weakness. You did it, and you relished it. Down deep inside, you felt strong, powerful, and you liked it. You’re a murderer, just like your father. You are your father. What would your draegan lover think of you if he knew the truth?

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CHAPTER 2

Keiran reentered the chamber in time to see Gaige throw himself from the bed and fall to his hands and knees on the white rug covering the stone floor. His eyes were closed, his breathing heavy, and Keiran experienced excruciating pain as if it were his own. “Gaige!” He ran across the chamber and sank down next to him. As gently as he could, he wrapped an arm around his lover’s bare back and leaned close. “What is it?” Gaige shuddered and squeezed his eyes closed more tightly, fighting hard against the unseen agony. “Keiran…” “I’m here. I’m right here. Tell me what I can do.” “I…” The word was little more than a rasp. Then he shook 23

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his head. “Nothing. I’m…I’m okay.” “No, you’re not. Clearly you’re not.” “I am.” He struggled to get his breathing under control, and Keiran watched him, worried, needing to help. He reached out with his senses, probing for details about what had caused this sudden and agonizing upset, and was shocked when he didn’t feel any more physical pain in his mate than he had earlier. Gaige was weak and aching, still fighting the last dregs of the poison in his system, but Keiran felt no new ailment in him that would explain his current state. And then he realized…the pain was emotional in nature. His fears that his lover’s experience in Byram’s dungeon would catch up to him bloomed all over again. He searched him once more, trying to piece together the specifics of Gaige’s emotional upset. But as if he sensed what Keiran was doing, Gaige shrugged off Keiran’s arm and pulled away. Somewhere deep within Keiran a warning tremor went off. “Talk to me.” The blond man dragged in one more deep breath, then opened his eyes and slowly, still in obvious pain but trying to hide it, sank to a sitting position on the floor with his back resting against the massive delik wood frame of the bed. “I…I think I was dozing off and I…must have rolled over and twinged my shoulder.” He brought a hand up to rest atop the bandage protecting the angry arrow wound on his shoulder. Keiran studied him, disturbed that Gaige would lie to him. Weren’t they beyond deceit? Hadn’t they left the lies and 24

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secrets behind them the last time they’d been here at Kellesborne? The night he’d finally gotten Gaige to confess the truth of why he hadn’t betrayed the draegans to Byram. You’ve been keeping your own secrets, his conscience reminded him. How is it fair to be critical of him for keeping his? It wasn’t the same, he rationalized. His own secrets weren’t his by choice. They’d been laid on his shoulders for the greater good of all. He feared Gaige, on the other hand, would ultimately self-destruct if he held in his trauma over what had happened with Byram. “Gaige…” “Really. I’m fine.” Keiran felt a shutter close somewhere in Gaige’s mind to keep him out, which unsettled him even more. “Don’t do this,” Keiran said, more forcefully than he’d meant to. Gaige’s eyebrows rose and he made eye contact with Keiran for the first time. “Do what?” Keiran pulled the silver sabeen fur cover from the bed and wrapped it around Gaige’s nude form to fight the chill of the stone floor and the drafts that were ever-present in a place as big as Kellesborne, which perched on the side of one of the higher mountains in Velensperia. Gaige grasped the edges of it and tugged it close, giving Keiran a grateful look. “Don’t shut me out,” Keiran said, sitting next to him. “What aren’t you telling me?” 25

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Gaige closed his eyes and rested his head on his drawn-up knees. “Nothing.” “Damn it, Gaige—” “Keiran, please, it’s just what I said.” His eyes stayed closed, and he sounded exhausted, as if whatever had reared its ugly head to haunt him had sapped the last of his strength and energy. Keiran tamped down his frustration. Though he hated that Gaige wasn’t willing or ready to share his turmoil with him, he had no desire to cause him further pain and stress. And it wasn’t that he was so impatient he didn’t want to give Gaige time and space. It was just that with Byram soon to be breathing down their necks, they didn’t have the luxury of time. It was imperative they present a united and strong front, which would be impossible if Gaige allowed Byram’s demons to haunt him. Keiran sighed, making the decision to back off…for now. But for Gaige’s sake, he’d have to find a way to get the truth from him sooner rather than later. “Okay. Come on.” He wrapped an arm around Gaige’s waist. When Gaige opened his eyes and looked at him with caution, no doubt trying to determine if Keiran was going to let it go or continue to push, Keiran smiled and, keeping his voice light, said, “I promised you help for your aches and pains and, if you’re up for a short walk, I plan to make good on that promise.” The relief on Gaige’s face was apparent. “Where are we going?” 26

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“You’ll see.” He helped his lover to his feet and, steadying him, led him across the chamber to the door where he’d exited earlier. When they entered the next room, Gaige paused, and Keiran gazed at him, enjoying the look of surprise and open appreciation on his face. It always pleased him that Gaige found such joy in the many unexpected luxuries of the draegan stronghold. “What is this?” Gaige asked, his voice filled with awe. “This,” Keiran said, shutting the heavy wooden door to keep in the heat, then leading him to the edge of a huge, sunken stone pool large enough to fit the both of them and then some, “is the lord’s bathing chamber.” The lone, narrow, floor-to-ceiling window at the end of the long room gave a view of the high neighboring mountain peaks glistening with snow. This morning, the gray sky threatened to bring more of the same in spite of the fact it was still autumn. In contrast, steam wafted off the water in the pool, and the scents of the sage, eucalyptia, and other healing herbs Keiran had added caused a pleasant tingle in his nostrils. The stone walls shimmered in rich hues of blue as if they were lit from within, and the same glowing stone had been used in the bathing pool. “This place…I never know what to expect,” Gaige said, his voice soft, as if he thought speaking any louder would somehow dissolve the ancient, powerful magick that kept Kellesborne hidden from the outside world and preserved the inside of it in perfect condition, even though it had been 27

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deserted for decades. “How is this possible?” “A hot spring runs beneath the castle. The ancient draegan lords who built Kellesborne designed it so the hot water could be piped in here in a continuous flow. You can bathe as long as you’d like and the water won’t ever grow cold. When you’re done, you shut off the flow and let the pool drain.” “I thought the draegans had abandoned this place a long time ago. How do you know so much about its intricacies?” “I lived here for a time when I was a boy. Before it was deserted.” Gaige looked at him curiously, and Keiran could almost feel his thoughts spinning, wondering when that might have been, and just how long ago the draegans stopped living here. But he didn’t ask for further explanation, which relieved Keiran. He had another twinge of guilt over holding out on Gaige with the full truth, but his mate had enough on his mind right now without having to be bogged down with Keiran’s complicated past as well. The time was coming when he’d tell Gaige everything—soon he’d have no choice. When he did, he could only hope his mate would be understanding. He unwrapped the fur from around his lover, eased the bandage off his shoulder, exposing the jagged, angry flesh at both front and back where the arrow had pierced him, and helped him step down into the pool. *

*

*

Keiran eased him down onto one of the sunken stone reclining benches, and Gaige groaned as the hot water closed 28

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around him. The numerous cuts and welts on his skin stung, but within moments, the edgy pain subsided and he felt the healing herbs in the water go to work. He heard Keiran strip out of his clothes and enter the pool. When he looked up at him, he saw, for the first time since he'd awakened, the sword wound on the upper left side of Keiran's chest. It looked clean, though still red and swollen. "How is it feeling?" he asked, his stomach knotting at the sight and the knowledge his father had done it and could have killed Keiran. "It's a bit sore and achy, but it was a clean entry, not life threatening." He offered Gaige a smile. "I've had worse." "I just hate how it happened," Gaige said, his voice filled with bitterness. "I know. But contrary to what the high sorcerer thinks, it would take more than one man's sword to kill a draegan in winged form." "Not if it was a direct blow to the heart." Keiran pressed a kiss against Gaige's lips. "But it wasn't. And I'm alive and fine." He slid in behind Gaige, his legs on either side of him. His arms curved around Gaige, pulling him back until he reclined against Keiran's chest and his head rested on his shoulder. "Is this comfortable?" he asked, his voice low and husky against Gaige's cheek. Gaige nodded, his throat suddenly so clogged with emotion he couldn't speak. Keiran's arms and body surrounded him, cradling him close in a protective embrace. That, along with the press of his generous, half-erect cock against Gaige's 29

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backside, the heat and comfort of the fragrant water, and the odd sense of belonging he felt emanating from the very walls of Kellesborne, as if he'd somehow come home, made it harder by the second for him to maintain the barriers he'd thrown up in haste to keep Keiran out of his thoughts and emotions. With infinite gentleness, Keiran washed his hair and bathed him. Gaige closed his eyes and savored the feel of Keiran's large hands stroking over his skin with tender care, soaping everything he could reach from his position behind Gaige, including his sensitive shaft and testicles. His body began to respond to the attention, growing both more relaxed and more tinglingly alive at the same time. Each time Keiran's hands strayed elsewhere, Gaige found himself wanting them back at his groin. He concentrated on Keiran's touch, especially there, letting it wash away the poisoned memories of Byram's abuse and replace them with goodness. Keiran brushed a kiss against Gaige's temple. ::I love you.:: His voice was a soft, gravelly caress in Gaige's mind, as it always was when he used the draegan telepathic speech. Sudden, hot moisture stung Gaige's eyes. How could he deserve this man and his love? He was tainted, weighted down with a past full of foul deeds. You're not who he thinks you are. You're a liar. A murderer. Just like your father… Stop! Just leave me alone, he begged. He brought a hand up to rub his damp eyes before Keiran could notice, but it was too late… 30

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“You don’t have to deal with this alone, love. Please, talk to me.” Keiran’s soft words caused a new rent in Gaige’s heart. “Don’t,” he said. “Don’t what?” “Don’t try to read me like you’re doing. I can feel you in there, brushing against my thoughts.” “Then talk to me. Lean on me. Let me help you.” Gaige squeezed his eyes closed more tightly, feeling the urge to pull away from Keiran and escape this confrontation, yet not able to because down deep inside he didn’t want to ever pull away. When he was with Keiran, all the things that had been wrong in his life for so long didn’t seem to matter as much. He felt like a better person with him…but it was all just a cover, wasn’t it? Like the peel of a choku melon that looked succulent on the outside, but hid the rotten fruit beneath. Could people really change, or was it only ever a masquerade? “Gaige…” “I can’t,” he murmured. “I’m here. Let me help you. The things Byram did to you…” “It’s not Byram.” Now he did sit up and pull away, needing to put some distance between them, but still too weak to get out of the water. Instead he moved to sit opposite Keiran, though they were only separated by an arm’s length. As he stared out the window at the cold gray sky, he felt Keiran’s steady, concerned gaze on him. “Then what?” 31

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Gaige felt the subtlest probing again, gentle, like the flutter of butterfly wings against his thoughts. He tried to hide the truth, to bury it…but as he turned to look at Keiran and protest, he saw Keiran’s eyes widen and knew he’d just been found out. “Gaige…you are not your father.” “Stop it! Stop getting in my head, damn it!” “I can’t help it. I’m not trying, it’s just happening. When you have strong emotions, I feel it. When you have strong thoughts, I feel them. It’s the joining…this is part of it. As time passes, the connection will become even more pronounced.” “A joining I didn’t ask for!” Gaige growled. But the moment he saw the hurt flare in Keiran’s silvergray eyes, a wave of guilt crashed over him, dousing his anger at Keiran, and filling him with remorse. “Gods…Keiran, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” He buried his face in his hands. Water sloshed around him as Keiran moved closer once again and the warm weight of his arms slid around his waist. “I know. But the truth is, you didn’t ask for it,” Keiran said with a sigh. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t want it,” Gaige said. “I did. And I do. I just feel…” He dragged in a pained breath and once again fought back the emotion threatening to bubble free. “I don’t think I’m good for you.” Keiran leaned back and gazed steadily into Gaige’s eyes. “Gaige, what you felt…what you feel about your father is natural.” 32

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“I just…” “Tell me.” Gaige swallowed hard. “He murdered my mother.” Keiran didn’t appear surprised. “I suspected as much. General Rizik was never known for his love of the draegans. He didn’t know she was a draegan when he coupled with her, did he?” “No.” Gaige had learned of his heritage during his capture, along with the dark truth of what his father and Byram had done. “The story Byram told me was that my mother fell in love with my father, but she knew if he ever found out she was a draegan he’d kill her. So she got pregnant in hopes a child would bind him to her, that if she presented him with progeny, he’d keep her with him. But in childbirth he discovered she was a draegan. Once he realized, he murdered her on the spot.” Keiran sighed and brushed a hand over his cheek. “I’m sorry.” “He wanted to kill me, too,” Gaige whispered, feeling as if the words were being torn from his throat, yet he couldn’t hold them back. “He would have killed me right there when I was born…except Byram made him keep me alive.” “Byram?” “Yeah. You know why?” Keiran’s dark brows furrowed together. He shook his head. “So he could do exactly what he did to me,” Gaige gritted out. More dampness blurred his vision, and he swiped it away with an angry hand, not wanting Keiran to see. But like the 33

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story coming out of him, he couldn’t make it stop either. “He made the general leave me alive so he, Byram, could keep me like some beautiful trophy, like he kept my father. And so he could fuck me like a whore. Like he’s apparently been fucking my father all these years.” “Oh, gods…” Keiran whispered. “It gets better,” Gaige said with a bitter laugh. “He and my father weren’t what I’d call ‘normal’ lovers. They got their thrills from all kinds of…” He dragged in a deep breath. “My father and Byram, they got off on torture. I mean they sexually got off on it. It’s what they did with each other. What Byram did to me. He wasn’t just trying to get information out of me, Keiran. He did it because…” He paused and looked away, swallowing hard and fighting the damnable tears. “Gaige, don’t. You don’t have to say any more.” He shook his head and continued—he had to continue, as if something inside drove him to it. “He did it because it excited him. And my fucking father stood there and let him— ” His voice broke. Through the hot, watery haze, he finally looked at Keiran and discovered Keiran’s eyes welled with moisture as well. “M’aerlas,” Keiran whispered, his voice thick with emotion, and pulled Gaige close. “He stood there and never said a word. How could any father do such a thing? He let him do it, Keiran.” Against Gaige’s will, sobs broke free of his chest now. He’d always prided himself on his ability to hide his emotions…he’d had to, growing up the way he had. Weakness 34

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of any kind had been forbidden in front of Byram and General Rizik. But now, it was as if all the years of holding everything back, all the decades of suppressed emotion that had been a seething cauldron inside him, had at last boiled over. Helpless to stop the flow of agony, he leaned into Keiran and gave himself up to it. If Keiran thought him weak for it, then it would just have to be another mark against him in the long list of faults Gaige knew defined him. But Keiran never wavered, never let him go. He held him close in a fierce, protective embrace that tore Gaige’s heart in two, and he was every inch the tower of strength and comfort he’d promised he would be if only Gaige would let him. Gaige didn’t know how long the storm raged, how long Keiran held him, murmuring words of love and comfort and understanding, stroking his back with gentle tenderness as all the hurt poured out of him. Eventually, though, Gaige purged himself dry, and with his head resting on Keiran’s shoulder, he could hardly move he was so numb from the emotional jag. “I wanted him dead,” he confessed in a whisper, breaking the silence, needing to get all the truths out. Keiran deserved to know just who he’d mated himself to. “I wanted to kill him.” “That doesn’t make you a bad person.” “I imagined how it would feel to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze. I wanted to watch him die. Good people don’t think and do such things. I’m just like him.” “No.” Keiran held him away from him just far enough he 35

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could look Gaige in the eye. And what Gaige saw there was a ferocity he’d never seen before on Keiran’s face. It both shocked him and, in some odd way, stirred heat through his veins. Keiran’s voice, when he continued, was hard as iron. “I would have killed him for you if I’d had the chance. And I have every intention of doing the same to Byram for how he hurt you. When I came into that dungeon and saw you hanging there… My gods, Gaige, all I could think about in my rage was how much I wanted to slide my knife across Byram’s throat and feel the hot flow of his blood on my hands. I still think about it. So don’t you, for one second, believe that because you wanted your father dead and then killed him, you’re bad or evil or anything like him. If that makes you bad, then you and I will share a place together in the fires of hel because I’m just as guilty as you are. After a hundred years of spilling innocent blood, your father got what he deserved.” “Hundred years? You mean Byram?” “No, I mean General Rizik and his reign of terror at Byram’s side from the beginning.” Gaige stared at him as his pulsed pounded. “What do you mean?” he said slowly. Keiran looked at Gaige strangely, and then his eyes widened. “You didn’t realize…” “My grandfather was the one with Byram when he came to power.” Keiran’s gaze was troubled, but his voice was confident. “No, Gaige…it was your father. He helped Byram wage his 36

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war. He was a captain back then. Afterward, to reward him, Byram made him a general, and whatever magick he used on himself to extend his own life, he used on your father as well, or at least used something similar.” “That’s… But… At Byram’s stronghold the men spoke of a Rizik with Byram all those years ago, but they, we were led to believe it was my grandfather. It was just…assumed.” He tried to remember if he’d ever heard his father or Byram say for a fact it had been his grandfather with Byram back then, but he couldn’t recall. “And probably an easy assumption from a human point of view. The men you worked with at Thrythgar were no doubt young. There’d be none alive still who would have been there to know the truth, so Byram and your father probably did nothing to stop the stories because it kept them from having to explain the unexplainable.” “But…how do you know?” Keiran’s eyes darkened. “Because draegans live longer than humans and there are draegans still alive who remember it well.” Gaige couldn’t doubt Keiran, though he wanted to. His mate was just too confident about it, and Gaige supposed there probably were draegans alive now who’d been alive back then. Still…how could he not have known? How could he never have questioned what he’d heard? And, worse, now that he thought back, how could he not have wondered why his father never aged, never looked any older from the time Gaige was a child until the day he’d died? 37

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“I just…” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I never knew,” he whispered. “All those years. All the slaughter…my gods, he was even worse than I thought.” “Which is why the fact he’s gone now is a blessing. He destroyed countless lives over those long years.” “I’ve done most of those same things,” Gaige reminded him. “You did what you had to in order to survive in the harsh environment you lived in. But when you had a chance to escape, to make a different choice, you chose to walk away from all that. Do you think your father would have done the same in your stead? A hundred years he stood by Byram and never once swayed.” “I murdered him, Keiran. And it felt good. How is that different from the things he’s done?” “No, Gaige. You killed him to save my life. There’s a difference. And you will never be just like him…because you’re half-draegan. As much as you have his blood flowing through your veins, you also have your mother’s. And now you have mine.” Keiran’s words caused a spark somewhere deep inside Gaige…a tiny spark that lit the end of a fuse that slowly sizzled its way through his being. He’d lived his entire life believing he was human, and had only just discovered the truth a few days ago. He hadn’t even had time yet to process the fact he was part draegan, much less grow used enough to the idea that it was at the forefront of his thoughts. In short…it hadn’t occurred to him. 38

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You will never be just like him… His father had hated the draegans. Had helped destroy most of them when Byram first waged war against them. Hated them enough to kill Gaige’s mother without a second thought, and to kill Gaige himself if he’d had the chance. His father had barely tolerated him over the years, had never had a kind word for him, had resented even having to be in the same room with him, and now it all made sense. He was, in reality, everything his father hated. “What was your mother’s name? Do you know?” “My father never talked about her when I was growing up, but I remember Byram mentioning her a few times and he said her name was Albione.” Keiran smiled. “That’s the name you used when you first came to the draegan camp and thought to hide your identity— Gaige Albione, you said you were. Don’t you find it rather fateful that you used your draegan mother’s name when you came to us, before you even realized you were draegan?” A soft huff of surprise escaped Gaige. “I didn’t know…” “You’re your own person,” Keiran reiterated. “You are not responsible for the sins of your father, nor do his sins automatically destine you to do the same. You’ve already proven time and time again that your fate lies along a very different path from his. Gaige…you’re imlain’ du draeganlahn.” “What does that mean?” Keiran’s eyes glittered with passion and pride. “It means you’re the true mate of a draegan. I’ve told you that true39

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mating isn’t simply a choice, it’s a destiny, something that’s written in the stars. Do you think fate and the gods of Erantz would have given you that destiny were you not worthy?” Gaige stared at him as warmth spread through his veins and stirred in his heart. “I…I don’t know.” Keiran grasped the back of his head and pulled him close, until their mouths were just a hair’s breadth apart. “Well, I know. So whenever you feel uncertain, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll be glad to set you straight.” Keiran’s mouth closed over Gaige’s in a kiss that set fire to Gaige’s soul. Once again Gaige found his body tingling to life with surprising enthusiasm considering his less-than-healthy physical state and the memories of Byram’s dungeon, though pushed aside, still lingering like dark shadows at the edge of his consciousness. The longer the kiss went on, the more Gaige wanted it…and other things. His hands roamed over Keiran’s torso, across his broad, wet shoulders, down his muscular arms, over the planes of his chest, and through the dark, triangular thatch of hair that dusted it. Keiran moved so his legs again straddled Gaige’s body, but this time Keiran faced him. “Touch me,” Gaige said. “Are you sure, love? You’re not healed yet. I don’t want to hurt you.” “Yes. I need you to. Need you to help me forget.” He felt a stir of anger in his mind, Keiran’s anger, but not 40

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directed at him, directed at Byram, for what he’d done. ::You’re mine, m’aerlas. He won’t ever touch you again. And soon there will be no more room inside you for memories of anything but us, but this…:: His hand slid between Gaige’s legs and his long, gentle fingers teased over the taut skin of Gaige’s sac, tracing the curve of each testicle, slipping lower to tease circles over and around the tight, clenching ring of muscle that guarded Gaige’s anal passage, then moved up to brush a slow openpalm stroke along the underside of his hardening shaft. Gaige sucked in a slow hiss and closed his eyes, savoring the sensation and Keiran’s words in his head. Keiran wrapped his hand around Gaige’s length, his fingers closing together until Gaige’s cock was cocooned in its lightly squeezing grasp. The heat, the seductive caresses, the gentle pressure that was just enough without being too much on his still-sensitive organ, created a pulse of desperate longing deep in Gaige’s core. He suddenly wanted, needed Keiran inside him, filling him, possessing him. But he knew, with a sense of frustration, that he wasn’t healed enough yet. The knowledge didn’t stop the wanting, though. “Mine,” Keiran murmured against his lips, as if he knew what Gaige had been thinking, his tone fierce and possessive, which made Gaige ache all the more. Then he sealed their mouths once again in a slow, intimate, probing kiss that imitated the movement of his hand on Gaige’s rod. Keiran scooted closer, until Gaige felt the turgid length of his lover’s thick, velvet-skinned cock sliding against his own, 41

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and then Keiran captured both their shafts in his hand and pressed them together. The draegan’s natural lubricant, which was activated by moisture, made Keiran’s cock as slick as if it had been oiled, and was so prolific even the water didn’t wash it away…only made it more effective and slippery and erotic. Gaige gasped, pulling his lips free to catch a breath. But it was a brief breath because Keiran grasped the back of his head and tugged him back into the kiss, and between it and the slow, seductive movement of his hand stroking both their cocks together, and the swirl of hot water caressing him as well, Gaige found himself growing lightheaded. Not in the sickly way of the fever, but in the “oh, gods, that’s fucking good” way of exquisitely building pleasure. He clutched at Keiran’s back, digging in hard with his fingers, unable to stop himself against Keiran’s sensual onslaught. Each time Keiran slid his palm up and rubbed it over their joined cockheads, Gaige moaned into his mouth. ::It’s good, isn’t it, love?:: Keiran asked in his mind, his voice like a warm, gritty rasp in all the right places against Gaige’s senses. ::You like the way my prick feels against yours, don’t you?:: Hel, yes, he liked it. ::And this is only the beginning. As soon as you’re well, I’m going to remind you all over again how perfectly our bodies fit in every way. I’m going to suck your cock slow and hard until you beg for more, until you beg me to let you come. But I’m not going to let you…yet. Before I do, I’m going to lick and taste and bury my tongue in your beautiful ass and 42

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fuck you with it, while you writhe and sob for me to fill you with something else. And then, when I know you can’t stand it another moment, I’m going to stuff you so full with my eager prick you’ll feel certain you’re going to burst.:: “Yes! Gods, yes.” ::When I spill inside you, m’aerlas, my seed’s going to go so deep you’ll be dripping with it for a week. And each day, as you feel it, slick and damp, seeping from your tender hole, it’ll be a reminder to you just how thoroughly I’ve fucked you, loved you, marked you as mine.:: Gaige pulled his lips free of Keiran’s and tilted his head back as a groan tore through him. “Holy gods, Keiran…” He felt Keiran smile, then his mouth latched onto Gaige’s exposed neck and he sucked it, causing Gaige to convulse in response. His body rocked against Keiran’s, trying to get closer, to find some relief for the fire spreading just beneath his skin until it coalesced in an inferno low in his groin that he thought might incinerate him from the inside out. ::That’s it, beloved…let go. I’ll be right here to catch you when you go over the edge. I’ll always be here. Now come for me. Come for me and only me.:: And just like that, as if Keiran had total control over his responses, Gaige’s testicles drew up in a tight knot against his body, a rush of aching, tingling fire shot up his cock, and with a moan and wracking series of shudders, he exploded, pumping copious waves of hot seed into Keiran’s hand and the eddying water. He felt Keiran’s elation, and then his surrender 43

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as well, felt each jerk of his lover’s spasming shaft against his own. Keiran’s hand milked them both with steady, sure strokes, until Gaige was certain he’d expelled every last drop of liquid of any kind in his body. Drained, exhausted, but sated and content in a way he hadn’t been sure he’d ever be again, he sagged into Keiran’s arms. “Thank you,” he murmured, surprised to feel the burn of tears again. He couldn’t express in words how grateful he was for what Keiran had just given him. Keiran’s gaze surged with love, and Gaige had a strong and sudden sense Keiran knew how he felt. “You’re welcome.” He brushed his lips gently against Gaige’s, then against his forehead. “Haven’t you figured out yet that I’m at your beck and call any time?” Gaige’s throat was too choked with emotion to respond. He rested his head on Keiran’s shoulder and slid his arms around his waist, wanting to stay as close to him as possible. Keiran combed his fingers through Gaige’s long, wet locks with a tenderness that caused Gaige’s heart to ache even more with love and appreciation. “Can I sleep for a week now?” Gaige finally said, a smile tugging at his mouth. Keiran’s low, rich laughter was a balm to his troubled soul. “Are you saying I did you in?” “Completely. But in the best possible way.” Smiling, Keiran held his face in his hands. “A week might 44

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be pushing it. I have a feeling watching you sleep, stretched out nude and glorious in bed, would drive me to horny thoughts in short order, which would force me to wake you every so often to slake my lust.” Gaige huffed out a soft laugh. “Somehow I don’t think I’d mind being awakened for that.” “How about we compromise and you sleep for the rest of today?” “I’ll take it. Of course I suppose that’ll require me to drag my ass out of this pool first, though, won’t it? In the interest of not drowning in my sleep.” “I’d never let that happen. But you’d probably find yourself a bit less water-logged if you went back to bed,” Keiran said with a grin. Minutes later, when Keiran was helping Gaige back into the large soft bed, he decided he hadn’t really been kidding about sleeping for a week. His eyes felt heavy the moment his head hit the pillow. “Sleep and heal, love,” Keiran said, pulling the covers up over him and kissing him. “I’m sorry,” Gaige said, his voice barely coherent it was already so heavy with sleep. “I was supposed to help you with the book.” “The book will be here when you wake up. And so will I.” His smile was the last thing Gaige saw before the warm fingers of sleep pulled his eyes shut. I’m part draegan. And Keiran’s mate. Everything’s going to be okay. 45

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Before a full sense of relief could descend over him, though, the taunting voice reared its ugly head again, determined to have the final word. You’re also part human. You have your father’s blood, too. Who’s to say which part of you rules at any given time. For Keiran and the draegans, you can be draegan. But you know the truth…

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CHAPTER 3

Gaige jolted awake from another dream, this one so real he sat up in a panic, breathing hard, and searched the room for Keiran, and for reassurance. Keiran was instantly at his side, sinking onto the bed next to him. Lines of concern creased his forehead. “What is it?” “I had another dream. This one about Kellesborne.” “What about it?” “I saw it in the moonlight. It was abandoned.” “It already is. We’re the only ones here.” “No,” Gaige said, a chill creeping up his spine. “I mean really abandoned, Keiran. It was empty, crumbling. A ruin.” “You were just dreaming.” Keiran reached out and brushed 47

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the hair back off Gaige’s face. “It didn’t feel like a dream. It felt real.” So real the images still haunted him. Keiran gazed at him thoughtfully, and in the flickering candlelight that lit the large chamber, Gaige saw something in his eyes…something that caused a jolt in his chest. Keiran held out his hands, palms up. “Can you show me?” Gaige looked at him, then at his upturned hands. “How?” “Hold my hands, close your eyes, and picture what you saw.” “Will that work?” “I’m not sure, to be honest. But we’ve been sharing other connections, so it’s worth a try.” “Okay.” He grasped Keiran’s warm hands in his and closed his eyes as Keiran had directed. For a moment his mind was so busy spinning with a hundred different thoughts it was hard to focus, but he shut everything else out and concentrated on the dream, trying to put himself back into it, see the sights, smell the smells, feel the cold against his skin… In the dream he’d come upon Kellesborne by foot, up the steep mountain path, and what had greeted him was not the magnificent towering white stone castle as he knew it, but instead a shell of what once had been, with great chunks of the stone walls littered across the mountainside. The once intricate carvings and scrollwork lay in piles of rubble. And the inside of the castle itself was empty and crumbling, desolate, with the scent of cold decay and dust heavy in the air. Gaige’s chest felt leaden with sorrow. “The gods have forsaken us,” he 48

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heard himself whisper in the dream. With a pounding heart he opened his eyes to find Keiran’s gaze on him and sadness rippling off him as well. They stared at each other for several long moments, sharing an odd closeness born from the loss and pain in the dream. “You see what I mean?” Gaige asked in a quiet voice. “It was so real.” Keiran nodded. “Have you ever had dreams like this before? Like this one and the one earlier about the flames and Thrythgar?” Gaige shrugged, oddly unsettled at the question. “I guess I dream like anyone else from time to time. But…” He frowned. “I don’t remember anything this vivid before, or this detailed. My gods…I could smell it, Keiran. Feel it.” The troubled look was back on Keiran’s face. “I know. I could, too, through my link with you.” “Do you think these dreams mean something?” Keiran sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s possible they’re nothing more than the result of all the many changes that have occurred in your life over the past weeks. You’ve been through a lot. Plenty to keep your subconscious mind busy, I suspect.” “I suppose.” Though something niggled deep inside him that there was more to it. “Do me a favor, though, and tell me if you have any others?” Keiran’s words implied he wasn’t convinced it was random dreaming either. And that knowledge sent another 49

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shiver up Gaige’s spine. “I will.” He glanced around the room, trying to shake off the disturbing feeling the dream had left him with, and noticed again the candles lit all around, and the deep grays of twilight outside the huge windows. “Gods, how long did you let me sleep? Please tell me I wasn’t out for another two days?” “No, no.” Keiran’s smile was a ray of warmth in the growing darkness. “It’s only just past sunset. How do you feel?” Gaige stretched his muscles, testing them, and realized his head felt clearer than it had earlier in the day. “Better, I think.” The last several hours of sleep had gone a long way toward getting him back on his feet. “Keiran’s healing soak and stroke seems to have worked.” Keiran’s chuckle chased away the last of the haunted thoughts and shadows. “Soak and stroke?” “Give the man a bathing tub filled with hot water, a cake of soap, and something to fondle, and he can do magick.” “Magick, is it?” Keiran leaned in to kiss him, and at the same time slid a hand under the covers to demonstrate his skill. Gaige’s sigh became a moan of appreciation, then a sharp groan of protest when he was unhanded. “Okay, that was unfair,” Gaige told him. “You’re being a tease.” “You get no more ‘fondling’ until you’ve had something to eat,” Keiran said with a grin. “And I know what you’re thinking, so don’t even say it. You’ll be eating food.” 50

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Gaige smiled as Keiran rose from the bed and crossed to the wooden table nearby, picked up a tray, and brought it back to the bed. But then Gaige sobered as the reality of their situation fell once again on his shoulders. “Maybe we should eat as we travel,” he suggested. “We need to leave tonight, Keiran.” “I know, but you’ve had nothing in your system for days except water and some broth I managed to get into you while you were fevered from the poison. You may think you’re feeling better, but you wouldn’t get far on the road as you are with no sustenance.” Gaige sighed, acknowledging he was probably right. The seductive humor between them was replaced by urgency as they ate the stew Keiran had made from some small creature he’d managed to hunt up on the mountainside, and some dried fruit. They washed it down with water from the castle spring. When they’d finished, Gaige donned a pair of tan leather pants, a soft brown shirt, and boots Keiran had laid out earlier for him. Gaige assumed they were extras of Keiran’s, although he was a few inches taller than Keiran and these seemed to fit him unusually well. “Here.” Keiran held a quiver filled with arrows and a bow in one hand, and a short-handled dagger called a vrieg in the other. Gaige took them, surprised. “Where did these come from?” “They were my father’s. As are the clothes. He…stayed 51

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here at Kellesborne sometimes. He was tall, like you, so I figured the clothes would fit better than mine. And the weapons are the ones he carried with him every day. Since yours were all lost at Thrythgar, I thought you’d be able to use them.” Gaige admired the well-made bow and beautifully tooled leather quiver, then set them aside on the bed before hefting the vrieg in his palm, finding its weight reassuring in his hand, and its grip as comfortable as his own had been—more so even, almost as if it had been made for him. Unlike his previous one, however, this one had a handle and blade made from a solid silver-blue metal unlike anything he’d ever seen. Stories of ancient mines from long ago came back to him and his pulse hitched. “Is this elorium?” he asked, hearing the shock in his voice. If so, it would explain why it fit him so well. It was said elorium molded to its user—in this case, the dagger’s grip had rearranged its structure to fit his hand. Keiran smiled. “It is. You don’t find it much anymore. The mines were long ago lost in earthquakes and the ravages of time.” “How did your father come by such a treasure?” Gaige asked in wonder. In addition to its malleable properties, elorium was also said to be virtually indestructible. “There are still a few pieces floating about. Some even say Byram hoards trinkets made from it, though I daresay that’s more fable than truth.” “I never saw any in all the years I lived at Thrythgar. And 52

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knowing Byram as I do, if he had it, he would have flaunted it.” Keiran nodded. “It was mostly used by the draegans and the elves. When the elf kings traveled over the Onyx Sea, they took their treasures with them. What remained was kept by the draegans in stashes here and about. This vrieg was given to my father by my mother on the day of their joining ceremony.” “There’s a joining ceremony?” Gaige asked, looking up at Keiran. “There is. Though in many cases it’s a formality. The actual joining is the physical consummation and the bloodletting, which together are binding and complete. Many draegans used to hold a ceremony as well, though, to celebrate the occasion with family and friends.” Gaige nodded, then held the vrieg out to Keiran. “This is too generous a gift. I can’t take it.” Keiran’s dark brows shot up, but then he smiled. He took it from Gaige, but instead of laying it aside, he slid it down into its case on Gaige’s belt. “It’s yours now.” When Gaige opened his mouth to protest, Keiran cut him off. “Don’t even think about arguing. I want you to have it.” He grasped handfuls of Gaige’s shirt and pulled him close, then kissed him. “Have I told you what a stubborn ass you can be?” That drew a smile from Gaige. “Funny, I seem to remember saying the same thing about you just this morning. Though I don’t believe I called you an ass.” 53

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“No, but I’m certain at some point you were thinking about my ass.” A soft laugh escaped Gaige. “You’re incorrigible.” “Where you’re concerned…yes.” His eyes sparkled like shards of silver. But lines of concern marred his forehead and he sobered. “Are you sure you’re up for traveling?” “Yes. Though, in all honesty, I doubt anyone at the camp will be glad to see me. I didn’t leave on the best of terms.” The accusations that he was a traitor, a liar, and murderer had been thrown at him like daggers. And those descriptions weren’t wrong. Keiran draped a heavy gray wool cloak around Gaige’s shoulders, then donned his own dark green one. “I think you’ll find you have more support than you expect. You might be interested in knowing that Marta laid Jax out unconscious when he spoke ill of you.” Shock coursed through Gaige. “She did?” “I went back to camp after you left here that night, to get more information from Jax on what he’d overheard Byram telling you, so I could try to figure out where you’d gone. Once we finally got him to talk”—a grin teased at Keiran’s lips—“Marta punched him out cold. And then she told me to go get you and bring you back safe.” A tiny bit of the knot that had lain heavy in Gaige’s gut loosened. He hadn’t expected to have any allies in the draegan camp except Keiran. Still, he didn’t kid himself. Jax hadn’t liked him from the moment they’d met. He suspected the fierce draegan would continue to dog his every step, looking 54

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for faults and speaking them aloud to any who would listen. He had a sick gut feeling his return to camp wouldn’t be serene. *

*

*

The cold damp of early morning clung to the wet, mossy earth, dripped from the pines towering over them, and seeped through their cloaks and clothing with icy fingers as Keiran and Gaige approached the outskirts of the draegan encampment three days later. If only he’d been able to take winged form safely, Keiran knew they could have been at the camp within hours of their departure from Kellesborne. But with Byram’s invisible magick “nets” scattered through the skies that, if a draegan flew into one, could trigger an attack by nyctophans—dark supernatural creatures that could get into one’s mind and kill by driving the victim insane with torment and pain—flight had always been risky. And now, knowing Keiran and Gaige had escaped Thrythgar by wing, the sorcerer would be extra vigilant, and had probably already increased the number of nets and sharp-eyed archers, just in case. And so they’d had no choice but to make the trek on foot. The journey had been longer than planned because Byram had the East Road watched, so they’d taken the longer route and cut across country. But a run-in with several large detachments of Byram’s troops near the Ravenwilde Flats had forced them to seek refuge in a dank sabeen den, after first having to dispatch the silver wildcat to which it belonged. 55

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They’d been stuck in there in the bitter cold for a full night and day before the detachments that had set up camp around them moved on. To add insult to injury, sleet had begun to fall several hours before dawn this morning as they traveled. Already exhausted and half-frozen, Keiran feared the icy rain would be the final straw for Gaige, sapping what little was left of his energy. The man was a seasoned soldier, though, and in spite of the wretched weather, his pale, drawn face, and the agony with which his abused body continued to punish him each step of the way—which Keiran could feel as if it were his own— Gaige never complained, never lagged, and never stopped. His drive to reach the camp to warn them, in spite of his fear he wouldn’t be welcome, tugged at Keiran’s heart. He was both proud of him, and worried sick he was pushing himself too hard, too fast. But each time he’d tried to stop for a break or slow their pace, Gaige had insisted on forging on. As they approached the eastern boundary of the camp, Keiran was pleased and relieved to find the protective magick shielding in place, which meant the camp was still intact. They’d seen no members of the draeganjhere, the camp’s sentries, as they neared, but Keiran had sensed Wen’s presence long before they would have been in sight. Wen, his lieutenant Marta’s eldest son, stood guard duty at this edge of the encampment. Keiran steered them, with silent stealth only a draegan could have, away from the diligent young sentry, wanting to slip into camp with no fanfare if at all possible. He was hoping for a few hours of peace so Gaige could get some 56

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well-earned sleep and lose the gaunt pallor and dark circles under his eyes. Keiran opened a doorway in the barrier with a sweep of his hand. “For all that it’s supposed to be so great I’m half draegan, I’m pretty much useless, aren’t I?” Gaige mumbled. “What do you mean by that?” Keiran glanced at him to find his lover staring intently into the forest, his gaze fierce and troubled, but he could tell Gaige wasn’t really seeing anything. Gaige shifted his pack to a more comfortable position on his back, and still without meeting Keiran’s gaze, said, with a husky catch to his voice, “I may be part draegan, but I don’t have any significant draegan traits. I can’t speak the language, can’t do the magick, can’t take winged form.” He shook his head and huffed out a defeated sigh. “I’ll never even be able to raise and lower an opening in a screen like this myself. I’ll always be dependent on you or one of the other draegans.” Keiran closed the opening in the barrier. “Tell me…can you see the screen?” Gaige slowly turned his gaze toward the area where the invisible-to-humans barrier stretched through the forest. “Faintly. If I concentrate. It’s like…like a shimmer amongst the trees that’s there, but not quite.” He lifted Gaige’s hand and held it out with his palm facing the magick barrier. “Can you feel it?” Concentration furrowed lines on his lover’s forehead and around his mouth. “I feel something. A faint buzz.” 57

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“To humans, the barrier is invisible and keeps everything on the other side of it invisible to them. Even if one of us were to stand on the other side and see them, they wouldn’t see us, just the illusion of more forest, and they’d feel a strong subliminal urge to go a different way.” Keiran smiled. “A human would never be able to see or feel it as you’ve described. Only one with draegan blood can do so.” He’d piqued Gaige’s interest now…he felt it in the tingle of surprise radiating from him. “Hold out both your hands and close your eyes.” When Gaige did, Keiran continued. “Concentrate on that buzz you feel.” He stroked a hand along his lover’s arm beneath his damp cloak, feeling the faint tremor of his muscles as he focused. He shouldn’t be doing this now, when Gaige’s energy reserves were already overtaxed, but he realized Gaige craved reassurance that he wasn’t a liability, and there was no better place to start than right here. Keiran let his hand linger on his forearm, trying to infuse him with some of his strength to lean on without letting any of his own magick bleed over into his mate’s attempts. It was important Gaige do this himself. “Do you feel it?” he asked. Gaige nodded. “Good. Let it gather and build until it becomes a solid wall of heat and energy against your hands.” He closed his own eyes and focused on Gaige and what he was feeling, experiencing. It was like riding on the coattails of Gaige’s thoughts, his emotions, watching but not interfering. ::Now, when you’re ready, say these words aloud: Il’ 58

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arrandia vhel. Say them while focusing on the energy of the screen, with the intention of creating an opening.:: Several seconds passed. He felt Gaige concentrating on the energy, felt his uncertainty, but at the same time a determination to prevail. “Il’ arrandia vhel,” he murmured, his voice low and raspy, his tiredness seeping into the words, but his intent strong. His eyes suddenly flew open and he jerked his hands back as if he’d been burned. “Shit!” Keiran opened his eyes at the same time and smiled. “Well done.” “Well done?” Gaige was rubbing his hands together and grimacing. “All I accomplished was zapping myself on the damned thing.” Keiran snagged one of his hands again, but this time moved it toward the barrier…and through it, or rather through the opening that now existed. Shock sent a flush of red to Gaige’s pale cheeks, and his eyes opened wide like swirling twin whirlpools of blue. He stared at the opening in the screen, then at Keiran, then back to the screen. “I did that?” “You did.” “You didn’t help?” he asked, his gaze suspicious. “Because I’ve seen you do it and you don’t speak anything out loud.” “I didn’t do anything except tell you how to channel the energy. If you practice, you’ll be able to do it without speaking as well. You’ll be able to think the words, or even 59

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just have a strong intention, and it’ll work. The words are like using a magnifying lens, if you will. The magick, the real magick, is inherent in draegans. So all it really takes is concentration and intention. The words just help focus that intention. Now…what was that you were saying about being useless?” Keiran teased. He seemed to be at a loss for a response. “You don’t know how to do these things, Gaige, because you’ve never learned. We don’t know yet what you are and aren’t capable of, but we’ll figure it out. I told you, now you not only have your mother’s blood running through your veins, you have mine.” Gaige continued to rub his hands as he studied Keiran. “You said that before. What do you mean by it?” “For draegans, when we do the blood-letting ritual during the joining, it’s not just symbolic. It literally merges our blood. Your blood becomes part of me, and mine part of you. It, along with the physical joinings we shared, binds us together in every way, brings us closer…like the sharing of thoughts and emotions. And for you, because you aren’t full draegan, the blood-letting gave you an extra infusion of draegan blood.” “But it was such a small amount…just our hands pressed together.” Keiran inclined his head in a half-nod. “Yes, but draegan blood is different from human blood. A little goes a long way.” What he didn’t add was that it wasn’t just any draegan 60

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blood he’d shared with Gaige. Again the niggling guilt that he hadn’t been completely forthcoming with his mate gnawed at him. Soon. Soon he’d have no choice but to tell him. “You asked me before we left Kellesborne if I’d ever had vivid dreams before,” Gaige said. “Do you think something about our joining is causing them?” “It may be. It’s possible you’ve always had some latent ability to have dreamings and the joining has brought it to the forefront.” “Dreamings?” “From time to time a draegan is born with the ability to foresee things—things that haven’t yet come to pass—and one of the ways it can manifest is in dreams. Dreamings, we call them.” “You’re saying my dreams might be prophetic? I’m not sure I like that idea.” Keiran felt a hint of uncertainty and fear in Gaige’s words, in his thoughts, and he knew he was remembering the dream about Kellesborne. “I don’t know. But even if they are, just because you see something in a dreaming, it doesn’t mean it’s a certainty. Every action we take, every word we speak has the power to alter fate. Nothing is written in stone.” Gaige didn’t look comforted or convinced. Which made the next thing Keiran said even harder to get out, but Gaige deserved to know. Best to prepare him. “You may find that you have other new abilities also. Besides the dreams, if they are, indeed, actual dreamings.” 61

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“Other abilities?” Again that frisson of fear. “Only time will tell.” Keiran wrapped a hand behind Gaige’s hooded head and pulled him into a kiss, wishing he could devour his mate’s fears as easily as he could devour his lips. “All I’m saying is don’t make light of what you have to offer the draegans and those in Velensperia who need to be championed against Byram,” he said softly. “Even if you were full human, with no draegan blood at all, you could make a difference. You already have. Think of the villagers at Thrythgar and their children you helped before you realized your heritage.” He gave him a pointed look. Gaige took in a ragged breath. “I wish I could be certain I did help them and didn’t lead them to their deaths in the Crystallian Caves where I sent them. Byram, when he captured me, knew that’s where they’d gone. I’ve no doubt he sent troops in after them.” “As soon as we’re back in camp, we’ll send a tracker out to check. But don’t discount the villagers’ ability to protect themselves and those they love. They may very well be stronger than you think.” “I know,” Gaige whispered. “I have to hope that.” “You did the right thing. You followed your instincts. Followed your heart. That’s all any of us can do.” He pressed his lips to his lover’s again for another brief, reassuring kiss. “In the meantime”—he turned and slipped through the opening in the barrier—“let’s go get you a hot bath and bed.” Gaige’s disgruntled huff had Keiran turning to look back over his shoulder at him. “What?” 62

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“I told you, you don’t need to coddle me.” “Who says it’s for you?” he taunted with a grin, as he brought the shield back up. “Maybe I want a hot bath and a few hours of sleep on something softer than the cold, hard ground. Maybe I was just being nice in offering to share.” Even with the hood of his cloak pulled low over his face to keep out the sleet, Gaige’s tired smile and soft laugh lit up the morning and filled Keiran’s chest with warmth. “Well, far be it from me to interfere with your pleasures, Oh, Great Draegan Leader.” As they walked through the forest, heading toward the camp, Gaige appeared thoughtful. Keiran didn’t probe, though he easily could have. He waited, hoping Gaige would share on his own whatever was on his mind. “The screen…” he finally said. “What of it?” “Why didn’t you use one when we were trapped in that damned sabeen den, so we could have gotten out of there sooner? For that matter, why not put up one around us when we’ve been traveling, to keep anyone from seeing our passage?” “A screen can only be in a fixed position,” Keiran explained. “You can’t put one up around yourself and move with it. And in the sabeen’s den, we were caught in that hole in the ground and surrounded on all sides by Byram’s troops. I did put up a screen at the entrance, but we were still trapped there with no way to escape until they left.” Gaige nodded. A short space of silence followed. Then… 63

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“But what of the night here near the camp, shortly after we met, when the detachment of Byram’s men stopped for a rest break? Couldn’t you have put one up between us and them when we first saw them that would have allowed us to get back to camp unseen rather than having to hide in the cave?” Keiran couldn’t stop the smile that teased at the corners of his mouth. Guilty. And, really, he shouldn’t be surprised that Gaige had put two and two together. His mate was intelligent after all. A fact in which Keiran took great pride. Gaige turned his head to glance at him. “Is that question amusing?” Keiran didn’t respond right away, until Gaige prodded with a warning growl. “Keiran?” “Maybe I wasn’t keen on escaping that night,” he said. “Maybe I was right where I wanted to be in the cave…” He let the words hang in the air, and knew the moment Gaige comprehended because Gaige stopped in his tracks. Keiran paused next to him and turned to face him. “That was the first night we…” Gaige’s voice, already low and husky, caught. “You were glad we ended up trapped there alone together.” “I’d wanted you since I met you. But I hadn’t realized until that night how much you wanted me, too. And then there we were, with Byram’s men coming toward us and you conveniently pointing to the cave, and…” He shrugged. “I wasn’t sure when I’d ever get you alone again. I told you, I’m no fool.” “And so you seduced me?” A faint smile curved Gaige’s 64

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lips. “It felt pretty mutual to me. And I didn’t hear any complaints from you, as I recall.” Sudden erotic visions involving him and Gaige, nude, twined together, their bodies moving in tandem filled Keiran’s head, causing him to draw in a sharp breath. But what shocked him was when he realized it wasn’t his own imagination conjuring them. What he saw were visions Gaige was projecting at him. Keiran stared at him and discovered the other man’s earlier smile gone. Instead, Gaige’s gaze was intense and openly hungry. Jolts of energy shot through his body straight into his balls, stirring to life an instant erection that strained against the leather lacing of his pants. ::Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?:: Gaige responded by pulling Keiran against him and wedging their groins together with a hand on his lower back. Clearly he did know. Even in the cold, wet air, the heat radiating off his mate was overwhelming, and Keiran fast discovered it was no insignificant bulge that ground against his own hard cock. Gaige captured his cheek in one of his hands and his mouth closed over Keiran’s, his lips chilled, but his questing tongue hot as flame. It felt as if Gaige were trying to imprint himself on him. And Keiran responded in kind. Their tongues tangled, their teeth clashed, their groins thrust together. “Need you. Now.” Gaige tore his lips away long enough to 65

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speak, his words part plea, part demand. “Here?” Keiran asked, surprised…and yet somehow not. “Yes. Here. Before…” His fair brows furrowed. He didn’t have to finish. Keiran knew. Before they got into the camp and their lives became not their own again. Before those who wouldn’t want Gaige here could stir trouble. At least that was Gaige’s perspective and the root of his desperation. And Keiran had no will to deny his mate anything. In spite of the man’s exhaustion and pain, he’d give him whatever he wanted. He’d share his strength, his love, and anything else he could if it gave Gaige the assurance he needed. Without further questioning, Keiran grabbed his hand and tugged him into a dense stand of tall pine trees where they’d be less conspicuous should anyone from the camp be wandering out here along the border near the shield. Gaige was already dropping his pack, bow and quiver as Keiran pulled his own off his shoulders. And then they were kissing again, mouths fused in greedy worship, hands seeking, finding skin, fingers spreading against flesh at their waists, then moving to the front to fumble in frantic unison with the laces on their pants. The soft whoosh of leather sliding down signaled freedom, as did the chilled air against hot, moist genitals. The sharp contrast had them both sucking in gasps…until their needy cocks bumped together, and the gasps became low groans of pleasure. As much as Keiran loved being inside Gaige, as much as he craved losing himself in the consuming depths of his 66

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lover’s body, he didn’t think here, in the woods, in a raw, wild fucking was the way to ease Gaige back into the pleasures of being penetrated. Not with the cancerous memories of being raped by Byram still haunting him, and Byram’s marks on his body not yet fully healed. “Do me,” he urged. “It’ll be easier for you.” “No.” The insistence in Gaige’s voice caused his pulse to race. “I need you in me. Need to be yours again, Keiran. Fuck me. And don’t hold back.” His cool hands kneaded Keiran’s ass, inciting flames that licked through his body. “Shit,” Keiran whispered, barely able to get anything past his suddenly dry throat. “Are you sure?” “Keiran!” His name was an exasperated, desperate growl. He didn’t have to be told twice. He kissed his lover again, then turned him and pushed him against one of the massive tree trunks, lust and love spiraling at his deepest core, driving him beyond all need for civility. Gaige anchored his hands on it without question and spread his legs as best he could with his pants around his thighs. Keiran pushed his lover’s cloak to the side, exposing the pale flesh of his ass. The sight, intimate and sexy, only fueled the fire burning in Keiran. He stroked the muscular globes, eliciting grunts of appreciation from Gaige that were obvious pleasure, not pain. When he slid a finger along his crease and pressed the tip against the tight ring of muscle, the grunts grew breathless and pleading. The sounds, erotic as hel, almost undid him—his cock wept in response, wanting to be buried in that welcoming hole. 67

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But first things first… He dropped to his knees and pressed his face against the cool, damp skin. With a sense of urgency, he kissed and licked over each of the bold red welts, the thin, raised, angry cuts, and the yellowish-green bruises that marred what should have been smooth perfection. It took all his control to keep his fury at Byram, the fucking evil bastard, under a tight leash. Instead, he directed that energy at covering every mark with his own more intimate attention. Gaige made soft moaning noises in the back of his throat as Keiran worked, but didn’t move, as if he needed this as much as Keiran did. Never again would anyone touch his mate but him, Keiran thought fiercely. Never again. He slid one hand between Gaige’s legs to stroke his heavy balls and with his other parted the flesh of Gaige’s ass to reveal his quivering hole. He flicked the tip of his tongue over it, savoring the texture, and the responsive way Gaige rocked against him. Damn, the man felt and smelled and tasted good, and the way his body trembled under Keiran’s ministrations was as arousing to Keiran as the needy little noises he made. When Keiran brought his tongue back to bear on him, rimming circles around the opening, then plunging inside, Gaige’s shudder tore through them both. “Oh, gods, yes!” Gaige gasped, not making any attempt to be quiet. And Keiran didn’t want him to be. He wanted to wrest away Gaige’s usual quiet reserve and make him moan and 68

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shout and cry out as he gave himself up to their lovemaking. He wanted Gaige to not hold back, just as he’d asked Kieran not to. In spite of the exhaustion hanging over them both, the powerful need to consume and be consumed by one another built between them, sizzling back and forth along the mental and emotional links that joined them. There’d be time later for sweet and tender. This, Keiran knew, in some hazy, fasteroding, logical part of his mind, was about coming together in the rawest, most primal act, to remember they were alive and still one in spite of all that had happened. And, he realized with a start, he wanted, with almost terrifying ferocity, to take back what was his as much as Gaige wanted to be reclaimed. Keiran tongued him with quick, hard jabs, then slow, languid ones, licking, sucking, probing again, until Gaige shook and whimpered unintelligible words that still managed to convey his high state of arousal and his appreciation for Keiran’s attention. The thick length of Gaige’s cock pulsated in Keiran’s hand. A thin stream of seed oozed from his slit and Keiran used it to rub slick circles over and around his glans. All the sensual attention soon had his lover’s body vibrating so hard Keiran knew he was near the breaking point. “Please, need you… Fuck me!” Gaige rasped. Keiran rose and, in a swift movement, licked his hands and rubbed his turgid shaft, activating his natural lubricant. Gaige’s lean hips writhed and his ass jutted closer. “Damn it, Keiran…do it now!” Wrapping one arm around Gaige’s waist and using the 69

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other to guide his prick, Keiran’s bulbous head found the slick, puckered ring and pushed in just far enough to stretch the spasming muscles and give Gaige a chance to get used to the fullness. Though his every instinct urged him to drive in hard and fast, to plunder as deeply and thoroughly as possible, to screw Gaige into delirium, he held back, suddenly afraid of being too rough, too out of control. But once again, Gaige had his own thoughts on the matter. He thrust back against him, forcing Keiran into him all the way to the root in one swift, agonizing movement, ripping moans from both of them. Gaige trembled and let out another guttural groan as they stayed frozen like that, with him impaled to the hilt on Keiran. His hands, still braced on the tree, flexed against the bark, his fingernails digging ridges in its soft surface. “Gods almighty,” Keiran murmured, as the heat and pressure of Gaige’s passage bore down on his cock with such ferocity he grew lightheaded. He curled his fingers around Gaige’s hip and pushed in an infinitesimal bit farther. “You’re so fucking hot and tight. So fucking mine.” The last word came out as a growl. “Yours,” Gaige whispered in urgent agreement. “Even…even when he…” His voice broke and what sounded like a sob escaped him, tearing at Keiran’s heart and filling him with fury at Byram all over again. “I know,” he murmured, leaning forward and pulling Gaige’s hood back, then grasping his chin and turning his head until their lips met. Their week-old beards scraped one 70

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another’s skin in a rough, sensuous caress. “I know, m’aerlas.” “I need you so much.” “I’m here for you. Tell me what you want and I’ll gladly give you anything.” He pulled partway out of Gaige, only to plunge back in again, seating himself even deeper. Gaige’s eyes closed in an expression of tortured ecstasy. “Again,” he whispered. Keiran withdrew almost to the tip of his shaft this time before forcing his way back into the searing, blissful depths of his mate’s body. “Again. Harder.” Over and over Keiran ploughed into him, the icy rain forgotten, the scent of wet pine and forest moss, male sweat and musky desire swirling together, the sounds of their bodies’ suction as they moved, and of flesh slapping against flesh all branded into Keiran’s senses. The erotic sight of his thick length sliding in and out of his lover’s clenching hole made his balls ache. Made his chest ache as well, as love for this man overwhelmed him. Gods, they were good together. Perfect together. He slid his arm up, until it wrapped around Gaige’s chest, and leaned against him, holding him close. Their hands moved to Gaige’s cock at the same time and worked as a team to bring him off, their strokes in counterpoint to Keiran’s fierce, unapologetic ravaging. “Don’t stop,” Gaige begged, his voice hoarse with emotion. “Don’t ever stop.” 71

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Keiran felt him teetering on the brink…both physically and emotionally. He suspected that when they came, it would be with an intensity that would either free Gaige at last from his demons, or break him once and for all. And yet he couldn’t stop. Couldn’t, even now, deny the man anything. A sudden, agonizing pins and needles sensation ripped through his testicles, causing his breathe to seize in his lungs. “Holy…unh!” His cock felt like it was lengthening, delving impossibly deeper inside Gaige, anchoring them together until he couldn’t move, couldn’t pull out. What? Why was this happening now? This same thing had occurred during their initial joining, but it shouldn’t be happening again. Yet he couldn’t fight it any more than he could stop breathing. And at the most primal center of his being, he didn’t want to fight it. It felt right. Powerful. Claiming what was his. He tossed his head back, his eyes squeezed closed, and gasped for air as he hovered on a razor-fine edge between searing pain and soul-shattering pleasure. “Fuck…fuck!” Beneath him, Gaige seemed to be experiencing the same balancing act…Keiran felt his reactions in tandem with his own. Then, in a moment of blinding agony and ecstasy, liquid fire coursed up his cock and burst from his slit, gushing into the deepest recesses of Gaige’s core. Mine! “Gods….gods…” Gaige panted. “Oh, GODS, Keiran!” His body stiffened, then convulsed so hard, for a brief moment it scared the shit out of Keiran. Until he felt rivers of hot cum 72

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jetting into his hand and dripping between his fingers. And then more. And more…as if Gaige had been holding back a never-ending reservoir of it for just this moment. Which was the last sensible memory he had before another wave of magma raced up his shaft and exploded, opening his own floodgates as well. For long moments he bucked against Gaige as he emptied everything into his mate, including, he was certain, his soul.

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CHAPTER 4

Gaige sagged against Keiran’s arm, grateful for its support since he wasn’t certain his legs or his own arms, still clutching the tree, would hold him up. ::I love you so much.:: A second passed, then two before Gaige realized it wasn’t Keiran saying it to him in his mind—it was him telling Keiran. What in hel? Shock billowed through him. He’d never been able to do that before. He could hear Keiran in his mind, yes, but it had always been one-sided. He’d never been able to mind-talk back. He turned to look at Keiran to see if he’d noticed. But 74

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instead of the surprise he expected to find, he saw fierce love and—and was it pride?—shining in his lover’s silver-gray eyes. Had Keiran heard him or had he just imagined he’d said it telepathically? Keiran lips formed a smile so sexy it made Gaige’s breath catch. ::You didn’t imagine it. Other abilities, remember? And I love you, too. More than you could know.:: He dragged a hand over Gaige’s damp hair, then kissed him with such hunger, Gaige’s cock stirred from its sleepy slumber in spite of the mind-bending climax he and Keiran had just shared. He felt Keiran rousing inside him as well, his shaft thickening and pulsing. Draegans were a virile species, and it was a trait Gaige had always had, though until recently he hadn’t known his ability to experience multiple orgasms was a gift of his draegan heritage. The only problem this time was that he wasn’t sure his overtaxed, tired body could keep up with his randy cock, no matter how much he wished it. Still, Keiran’s warm mouth was a slice of heaven in and of itself and he was loath to give it up anytime soon. Keiran tasted of him, but also of love and comfort and strength and sex all rolled into one. Gaige couldn’t have stopped his tongue from delving into his lover’s mouth if he’d tried, twining with Keiran’s in a slow dance that left him dizzy. That is until Keiran’s hand slid up to cup his cheek, at which point Gaige pulled his lips free to suck each of the draegan’s fingers into his mouth, cleaning them of his own sticky remains. He heard Keiran draw in a hissing breath, felt his cock 75

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throb again inside his ass, and in that moment Gaige knew that although his body might not cooperate for another climax of its own, he was more than willing—downright eager, in fact— to be the receptacle for Keiran to find another release. He pulled Keiran’s middle finger farther into his mouth, sucking in a slow, undulating motion, until he heard Keiran moan, felt him shift inside Gaige, sliding deeper. ::Do it, babe. Come again,:: he urged, once again using the silent mind speech before he even realized it. Surprise, then guilt radiated off Keiran…Gaige felt them eddying through himself, almost as if the emotions were his own, though he knew they weren’t. He was beginning to be able to tell the difference. Keiran’s always had a shimmer of earthy power to them that Gaige suspected came from fullblooded draegan magick. ::No,:: Keiran said. ::I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve already taken more than I should.:: Love flooded Gaige at Keiran’s selflessness. His mate meant it, and would do the honorable thing if he thought it best for Gaige. But Gaige wasn’t going to let him off that easily because he knew what Keiran truly desired. ::Don’t be a stubborn ass. I want you to.:: He rotated his backside against Keiran’s groin, relishing the sensation of the soft, damp curls of the other man’s pubic hair abrading his skin. He pulled a second of Keiran’s fingers into his mouth, threading his tongue over and around them both, between them, then resuming the wanton sucking that seemed to arouse his mate no end. 76

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::Is it the sucking itself that excites you…or the fact I’m licking my own cum off your fingers? Cum you milked from me as you fucked me so thoroughly.” Keiran shuddered against him. “Both,” he groaned. :: Come for me again, Keiran. I want to feel your seed flooding me again, dripping out of me just like you promised.:: “Bloody hel!” Keiran’s voice was ragged. “You shouldn’t taunt me this way.” Gaige thrust back against him, encouraging him. ::Do it.:: ::When’d you get so bossy?:: But his hips had begun to move, his cock rocking into Gaige in a slow, measured motion that felt better than it ought to considering the hard ride Keiran had just taken him on. ::When’d you get so stubborn that you don’t want to make love to your mate?:: ::Nag.:: ::Cock tease.:: He clenched his muscles tight around Keiran’s prick, bringing Keiran’s hands to his hips for support and drawing a guttural groan from him. ::Ah, gods! You know exactly what effect you have on me, don’t you? I love you so damned much, Gaige.:: Unexpected moisture welled in Gaige’s eyes. “I love you, too.” Keiran relented and surged into him then, fucking him in a slow, sweet motion that made Gaige’s entire body tingle, from his toes to the hair on his head. ::Not going to last long…it’s too good. It always is between us.:: 77

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It always was. Gaige couldn’t deny it. He’d had many sexual partners over the years—they never seemed to be lacking when you were the captain of Byram’s High Guard and eager soldiers wanted promotions. Most of the encounters had been one-night fucks with no purpose other than to find release. He’d never, until he met Keiran, wanted more than that. Had never realized how much friendship and love affected the physical aspects of coupling. With Keiran, even in the most hard-edged, passionate moments it was never just fucking. It was lovemaking. And it brought a fulfillment to the act he’d never known existed. Their bodies undulated together, and as Keiran’s motions become more focused, more intense, Gaige realized his own cock throbbed and he was close to finding another climax also, in spite of the fact he hadn’t thought it possible. He wrapped a hand around it to help it along. Keiran’s organ grew even harder inside him and thrummed in a rhythm Gaige felt throughout his entire body. Then, with powerful thrusts that left Gaige gasping and hanging onto the tree with a death grip, Keiran ground out his release with a shout, pouring copious bursts of warm cum into him. At the same time, his hand closed over the top of Gaige’s on his cock, and a few firm strokes later he, too, raced to the edge and plunged. Unsteady and breathing hard, this time Gaige was certain he wasn’t going to be able to stay on his feet without help. And Keiran, gods love him, seemed to know that. His spent cock slipped free, leaving Gaige hollow and aching to be filled 78

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again. But before he had a chance to protest, Keiran was turning him, pressing him in a gentle motion back against the tree trunk for support, then stepping close and offering his own body like a steady, muscular pillar on the front. He slid his arms around Gaige’s waist, encouraging him to lean on him. Gaige did, grateful, resting his forehead against Keiran’s as they both caught their breath. Keiran skimmed his fingertips over his cheek, his gaze filled with love and worry. “You okay?” Gaige took an accounting of his state and realized that although he felt raw and sore and well-used, he was filled with an inexplicable joy and peace. “Yeah,” he said with a tired smile. “I really am.” He tried to open his mind and let Keiran feel what he was feeling, and decided it must be working when Keiran’s dark brows shot up and then the lines of tension around his eyes and mouth faded to be replaced with a half-smile. “You never cease to amaze me,” he said. He kissed Gaige’s forehead, then his lips. With their passion sated, at least for the moment, questions began to stir in Gaige. “So why did the joining thing happen again?” His insides still quivered from the intensity of it. “That’s what it was, right? I thought it was a one-time deal for each of us—you inside me, me inside you.” “It usually is. This was…unexpected. I’m not sure why it happened again.” His thumb brushed over Gaige’s lips. “Maybe we needed to reconnect.” “After Byram, you mean,” Gaige said softly, able to say it 79

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and think about it for the first time without some part of his mind shutting down into blackness. Keiran nodded. “Yeah. Or…” He paused and his gaze grew troubled, uncertain. “Or?” Gaige encouraged. “I…I don’t know. And, damn it, I should know! But it’s been so long since something like this has happened.” “You’ve lost me here.” “It’s complicated.” “What aren’t you telling me, Keiran? I’ve sensed you holding something back for days now.” At Keiran’s startled look, Gaige shrugged. “You aren’t the only one who can read emotions.” For a moment Gaige thought he was going to deny it. But then he sighed and looked resigned. “You’re right. I’m sorry. There are…things. Things I need to talk to you about, explain. But not here.” He shook his head. “Not out here. We need privacy.” “It seems pretty private to me…just you, me and the forest.” “It’s not,” Keiran said in a low voice. His sudden change in tone mixed with the ripple of tension that radiated off him, brought Gaige’s senses to alert. “We’ve had an audience,” Keiran continued, still in a soft volume. “I was so caught up in us I didn’t realize it until just a few moments ago.” Cold prickles crawled up Gaige’s spine and had him reaching down to drag up his pants and retie them in short 80

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order. Keiran did the same. “Somebody’s been watching us?” Gaige whispered. “For how long? And why didn’t you say something sooner?” “Honestly? Because you were so relaxed I hated to disturb you. And I’m not sure how long.” “Long enough to get an eyeful?” “It’s possible. They’re gone now. But even if they did see, we have every right and reason to couple as we see fit.” “Yeah…but have you forgotten that the camp knows me only as Byram’s right-hand? Somehow, I don’t think they’re going to be forgiving that their leader’s been fucking with the enemy in the woods.” He pulled away from Keiran, flipped his hood back up, though the sleet had stopped for the moment, and reached down to retrieve his pack and weapons. Keiran grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back up, swinging him around to face him. “Stop it. I don’t want to hear you say anything else like that.” His tone was firm, almost as if he were scolding a wayward youth, which sent a streak of anger through Gaige. He shook free of Keiran’s grip. “Don’t talk to me like I’m child. And don’t brush off my concerns as if they don’t mean anything because you know damn well they do. The last time I was in this camp I was someone else, someone who worked side by side with the draegans and humans under your care, convincing them to trust me so I could gain information about them, the camp, you, then turn you all over to Byram to be destroyed. Now, the disguise is gone. How do you think they’re going to feel when they see me? It’s not like my 81

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damned hair doesn’t give me away. The White Panther. That’s all they’ll see.” He reached for his belongings again and, as he rose to his full height, slipped them over his shoulders, wincing as the straps dug into still-tender skin. Keiran didn’t try to stop him this time, but he did touch Gaige’s hand. When Gaige didn’t pull away, he wrapped his fingers through his. “I’m sorry. Truly. I didn’t mean to sound patronizing. I just… Damn it, Gaige, I don’t like to hear you talk about yourself that way. You’re not the enemy.” Gaige sighed and felt the weight of the world shift back onto his shoulders. “The people in camp don’t know that, Keiran.” He turned and began walking in the general direction of the camp. His every instinct told him he was crazy, that he should be going the opposite direction, trying to put as much distance as possible between himself and this place, where he felt certain he’d not only find no welcome, he might also end up drawn and quartered. But the damned agonizing knot in his gut that served as his conscience wouldn’t let him. It insisted he continue putting one foot in front of the other because, whether the people in camp hated him or not, he needed to know they’d been warned about Byram and would be protected. Keiran will warn them, take care of them. Cut your losses while you can and get out of here. No. He slammed the door shut on the pestering little voice in his head. No, he wasn’t running away like a coward. He’d 82

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started this mess by coming to the camp undercover for Byram. And even though he hadn’t given up its location or disclosed a single name or detail about anything, if it weren’t for him, Keiran wouldn’t have gone to Thrythgar, recklessly exposing himself to Byram and his troops, and almost died trying to save Gaige’s life. And Byram wouldn’t now be on the warpath after Gaige for not only escaping, but killing General Rizik. He owed it to Keiran and these people to stand at their sides and fight…if they’d let him. ::It wasn’t your fault.:: Keiran caught up to him, his strides matching Gaige’s determined ones. ::None of what’s happened is your fault.:: Gaige didn’t stop and didn’t look at him. ::The high sorcerer’s no doubt furious you escaped, yes, but it’s me he really wants dead.:: ::You think I don’t know that, Keiran? It’s why I came here in the first place, remember? Kill the rabble-rousing draegan leader and all who follow him!:: ::Yes, but it’s more than that now. He…:: Keiran sighed. ::He’s realized I’m not just an upstart rabble-rouser. He knows now that I’m a firebreather. And that changes everything for him.:: Gaige turned his head to look at him, torn between his continued self-recrimination, and confusion at Keiran’s words. ::Why?:: Keiran stared at the ground as they hiked, the lines around his mouth and eyes tight once again. ::Because he thought us all dead. He thought he’d killed us all a hundred years ago in 83

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his first strike against the draegans.:: ::I know you said being able to breathe fire isn’t all that common, but why is that so important to Byram?:: Gaige felt a jumble of churning emotions in Keiran he couldn’t quite sort out—anger, sadness, worry, fear, guilt. ::Because I’m the last of my kind,:: Keiran said, his voice gruff in Gaige’s mind. ::And because…:: He faltered, leaving Gaige hanging for several seconds before finally finishing the thought. ::Because the only draegans who breathe fire are those descended from the bloodline of the true draegan lords.:: Gaige stopped, his heart pounding, and turned to gape at Keiran. “What? But I thought—” ::Not out loud. Please. I don’t want anyone else to know.:: Keiran’s gaze was steady, but his words had an undertone of pleading that Gaige had never heard from him before. Not sure why it seemed so hard to drag air into his lungs, Gaige glanced around and realized they’d come upon the camp and had stopped near a handful of tents at the edge of it. Looking back at his lover, he made a mental effort to switch to the silent communication he’d so recently discovered. ::I thought the draegan lords were all dead, the line destroyed by Byram when he came into power.:: ::That’s what he thought, too. What he intended. And what almost happened.:: Keiran grimaced and a wave of grief so profound it make Gaige ache all over rolled off him. His eyes, staring off into nowhere as if he were lost in old memories, grew distant, glazed. ::I was there. The night he struck, in the 84

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village of Ilyrie. I saw…:: He swallowed hard, the knob in his throat sliding up and down so slowly it looked as if it hurt him to accomplish the simple act. ::That’s impossible. It happened a hundred years ago, Keiran. You couldn’t have been there.:: Keiran’s gaze slid back to meet his, and what Gaige saw shook him to the depths of his being—a time-worn weariness and the soul of one much older than he’d ever imagined. ::No…it can’t be.:: Gaige felt himself breathing hard, fighting to drag in and expel air. ::You…:: He shook his head. ::No.:: He had to have heard Keiran wrong. ::Yes. I was there. I was a boy and I watched everyone I loved die.::

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CHAPTER 5

Gaige couldn’t move, couldn’t speak…he could only stare at his lover as his chest squeezed and his mind raced. Tiny pieces to a puzzle he hadn’t even realized needed to be worked slipped into place, yet other jagged holes opened, leaving him with so many bigger, more painful questions he felt as if a wildcat’s claws had torn through his gut. “So, you’ve brought the traitor back into our midst,” a deep, harsh voice said from behind them, startling them both and breaking the silence. Gaige’s pulse faltered at hearing the one person he’d hoped to avoid. He looked over his shoulder at the intruder. Jax’s tall, powerful frame unfolded from the trees, his long 86

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black braids swinging against his back, the expression on his tanned, rugged face nothing short of hostile. “Jax.” Keiran’s tone was neutral on the surface, but Gaige thought he also heard a note of caution in it. “Tell me,” the fierce draegan said, “where did you find him after he escaped from you at Kellesborne, Keiran? What lies did he tell you this time, to convince you to believe he’s oh-so-innocent and wasn’t running to tell all to his beloved high sorcerer?” “You need to close your mouth right now, my friend,” Keiran said, a muscle clenching along his jaw that belied his calm tone, “before you say anything else you’ll end up regretting.” Pure military instinct had already sent Gaige’s hand to the vrieg on his belt. He didn’t trust Jax. Didn’t know what kind of a past the draegan shared with Keiran either, but understood they’d been friends a long time. That didn’t have to make him Gaige’s friend though. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw shadows creeping near. Several people from the camp had no doubt heard Jax’s booming voice and come to investigate. Damn it all. Just what they needed. An audience. Then it occurred to him on an intuitive level that an audience was no doubt what Jax wanted. Jax was probably the one who’d been watching them. Then he’d followed them, but waited until they were in camp before confronting them. Gaige swore softly under his breath. He recognized a setup when he saw it. 87

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“I’m not the one with regrets.” Jax’s sneer, his body language, and the way he paced a circle around them like a hunter stalking prey spoke volumes about his current state—a state Gaige knew wasn’t going to be soothed by Keiran or anyone else. Gaige had been a leader of men long enough to learn how to read people well, and Jax, at this moment, was a man pushed to the edge. By Gaige, by something in his past…it didn’t matter. He was forcing a confrontation here, and there’d be no talking him out of it. “No, I have no regrets,” Jax continued. “I’m not the one who’s allowed this human scum to manipulate me, to turn my head, twist my balls into knots, and force me to think with my prick .” His lip curled. “For all the gods’ sakes, Keiran, in spite of the danger to our people, and knowing who and what he is, you still can’t keep your hands off him. Your scent is all over him, and his all over you. You reek of one another.” “Watch. Your. Words,” Keiran warned. Aware the crowd around them had grown, Gaige wanted to draw as little extra attention to himself as possible. He kept his mouth shut, but eased closer to Keiran. At the same time, Keiran moved toward him, both of them instinctively adopting a loose, back-to-back fighting stance so they could better keep an eye on Jax as he paced around them. The chasm that had yawned between them before Jax showed up had disappeared, and they were once again moving, thinking, feeling as a connected unit. “You have no idea of what you speak,” Keiran said. “Your anger and hurt from your childhood have become a cancer 88

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inside you that’s eating you away day by day. I’ve been watching it happen and it grieves me.” “It grieves you. Yes, I can see that. It’s so clear in the way you’ve tossed aside your loyal friends and responsibilities to go chasing off after a known enemy, all so you can bring him back here to flaunt him in front of us.” Something about his words settled just beneath the surface of Gaige’s skin like grains of sand, chafing, irritating. Tossed aside loyal friends. Bring him back here to flaunt him. Flaunt him? He looked into Jax’s onyx-colored eyes, which, at the moment, were focused with blazing intensity on Keiran. But beneath the draegan’s obvious anger, Gaige thought he caught a barely concealed flicker of hurt as well. And then it hit him like an armor-plated charging steed… Jax was in love with Keiran. Holy gods. The truth almost suffocated him, like being pushed below the surface of algae-coated stagnant water. Every breath pulled in more of the putrid liquid until his lungs choked from it. It explained so much…Jax’s overzealous protection of Keiran where Gaige was concerned. His instant dislike of Gaige. His dogged determination to prove to Keiran that Gaige was out to cause him harm. Gaige understood Jax’s family had been killed by Byram’s troops when Jax was just a child, and therefore he held no love for humans in general—or so Keiran had explained to him. But there’d always been something about that explanation that grated at Gaige because 89

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there were plenty of other humans in the camp. And while Jax wasn’t friendly with them, he also wasn’t openly hostile to them either. Not like he’d been with Gaige from day one. But, of course, none of the other humans had captured Keiran’s attention or slept in his bed either. Gods…what kind of past had Jax and Keiran shared? Had they been lovers? Had Keiran ever, or did he still, love the big, angry draegan in return? The thought left Gaige cold and queasy. And jealous as well, damn it. All those thoughts ran through Gaige’s mind at the speed of heat lightning, but each second he watched Jax, the more convinced he became he was right. Keiran appeared too caught up in his own anger and emotions to pick up on Gaige’s, for which he was grateful. “We’ve all lost people we’ve loved, Jax,” Keiran was saying. “Friends, family. There isn’t a person here who hasn’t, including Gaige.” “Don’t even say his name in the same breath you mention my family!” Jax snarled. “It was his kind that murdered my family. Do you think anyone here is going to ever accept him, trust him? Do you think you can keep his identity hidden from the camp, Keiran?” With a sudden movement that happened so fast Gaige didn’t see it coming, Jax reached out and jerked the hood off Gaige’s head, exposing his face and pale, white-blond hair to the gathered crowd, drawing a collective hiss from them. Then he landed a heavy blow with his fist to Gaige’s shoulder—his injured shoulder—that dropped him to his knees like a stone. 90

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Equally as fast, the sharp point of Keiran’s sword rested against Jax’s neck, just under his chin. “Don’t ever touch him again,” Keiran said between gritted teeth, his voice as deep and powerful and lordly as Gaige had ever heard it. But it didn’t faze Jax, who, in spite of the blade at his throat, looked around at the gathered crowd and addressed them. “This traitor your sainted leader covets, is a murderer. You’ve all heard the stories of the White Panther, Byram’s right hand, and the son of General Rizik. He and his father and his sorcerer have wielded the swords and arrows that have killed all our loved ones! He lived here amongst us for weeks, watching, making note of everything we did, gathering information for the high sorcerer so the sorcerer could kill us all. I heard it myself. Heard him speaking with Byram.” “You heard what you wanted to hear,” Keiran said, his voice growing dangerously cold. His eyes still watering from the agony in his shoulder, Gaige pulled off his pack, bow and quiver, and cloak, unable to bear the weight against his injury any longer. He clutched at his shoulder, then pulled his hand away to discover it red with blood that had seeped through his shirt. Jax’s blow had torn open the wound, which was taking longer than normal to heal already because of the poison that had been in the arrow. “Why don’t you tell them the rest of the story?” Keiran continued. “About how Gaige refused to do what the sorcerer requested and how the sorcerer threatened his life and the lives of the children in the village at Thrythgar if he didn’t follow orders.” 91

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“Enough!” Gaige rasped, dragging together the last of his energy reserve and staggering to his feet. “I’m right here. You don’t have to keep talking around me like I’m not.” The hot thrum of anger built deep inside him. Anger at Jax, at himself, at his father and Byram, even at Keiran for trying to defend him when, in truth, he didn’t want or deserve it. “Why deny it?” he said, looking at the collected group of two dozen or more members of the camp, then at Keiran, whose eyes went wide when he saw the blood saturating Gaige’s shoulder. “I have done all the things he said. I blindly followed Byram’s orders for many long years. I fought his skirmishes, dealt out his punishments, and, yes, he sent me here to spy on the camp and report back to him.” “But you didn’t,” Keiran said fiercely. Gaige turned to him. “Keiran…” He switched to silent speech. ::You can’t keep fighting everything Jax is saying when much of it is fact. We can’t live under a constant cloud of suspicion. I can’t. The truth has to out, right now, for better or worse.:: Keiran’s eyes glistened like silver shards and Gaige felt him battling his protective instincts. He finally nodded. ::But we tell them everything, Gaige. The full truth, so they understand. That means if you don’t, I will.:: Gaige grimaced. ::Keiran…:: ::It’s the only way, m’aerlas.:: “Let him speak,” Jax goaded. “He’s just saying what we all already know. I tried to get you to string him up when I first discovered what he was up to, but you went soft on him, 92

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decided to take him to Kellesborne to get him out of camp. Kellesborne…which is that much closer to Thrythgar, which made it even easier for him to return to his master when he escaped from you.” “I did go to Thrythgar,” Gaige said, answering for himself before Keiran could. “But not to the stronghold. I went to the village, to get the families with children to safety before Byram could hurt or kill them as he’d threatened me he would.” Jax snorted. Which only seemed to further incite Keiran—Gaige felt his anger ripple along the fine thread that connected them— though his voice, when he spoke was calm. “Need proof? Fine, send a runner out right now to the stronghold’s village. I’ll tell you what you’ll find…not a single child present, and the families hiding in the caves in the nearby mountains or already through the underground tunnels and seeking sanctuary in the towns of the eastern realms.” Gods I hope so, Gaige thought, feeling another tremor of worry and guilt in his gut over the fate of the villagers. “Oh, so now he’s a hero?” Jax’s icy laugh rang out through the cold morning air. “One minute he’s a liar and murderer and the next he’s helping children and families. How convenient.” “You have no idea what makes a hero,” Keiran said in a quiet voice. “No idea what price Gaige paid for that mission of mercy. After the villagers were safe, he was captured and taken to Byram’s dungeons.” 93

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Hot bile choked Gaige. ::Keiran, please.:: “His dungeons,” Jax snorted. “Is that what he told you? Yet another lie in his tapestry of tricks and manipulations. How can you be so blind, Keiran? Your human probably shares the high sorcerer’s bed as well as his ear. Can’t you see that while you were trying to find him, he was no doubt cozied up with Byram over a hot dinner, a goblet of wine, and some congratulatory fucking over his job well done as a spy here.” “Don’t you ever open your mouth against Gaige again,” Keiran growled in a sound so deep and rabid the hair on Gaige’s arms and the back of his neck stood on end. A thin trickle of blood crept down Jax’s neck where the tip of Keiran’s sword pierced the skin. Keiran’s fury, flowing off him in thick, dark waves startled even Gaige with its intensity, and he swore he saw the air around Keiran shimmer as it had just before the one time he’d seen him shift into his winged form. He didn’t shift this time, but Gaige felt his powerful yearning to do so, to lash out at Jax, hovering just below the surface. “You know nothing. You are nothing compared to this man you’re so quick to condemn,” Keiran said. With his free hand, he reached out to Gaige and in a quick motion, sliced his shirt open with his own vrieg Gaige hadn’t seen him holding. ::No… Keiran, no!:: ::I’m sorry, beloved. So sorry. But they have to see to understand.:: He pulled the fabric free of Gaige’s skin, leaving him 94

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exposed not only to the chill, damp air, but to the shocked gazes and whispered gasps of the collected group. Gaige closed his eyes against it all, letting the angry throb of his shoulder, and the matching one in his gut, ground him. “This is what happened in Byram’s dungeon,” Keiran told them. “This is how the high sorcerer rewards those who defy him. Yet no matter what Byram did to him, what horrors he inflicted upon him, Gaige never once gave us up. This is the price he paid for helping innocents, and for keeping the draegans’ secrets. I know,” he said, his voice thick with emotion, “because I cut him down from the bindings myself.” Gaige opened his eyes to find Keiran’s tumultuous gaze on him. ::I’m so sorry,:: he said again. He unfastened his cloak with one hand, tugged it off and started to wrap it around Gaige for protection. But before he could drape the heavy, scratchy wool over him, Gaige felt something else wrapping around, something soothing against his abused flesh. He turned to find Marta beside him, and the fabric was a cloak of the softest green velvet. “One of my boys found me. Iann and I came as fast as we could,” she said in a quiet voice meant for Gaige’s ears alone as she pressed a folded cloth against his bleeding shoulder. Her long, sandy-colored braid hung in a thick length down her back, and her hands at his shoulder were as strong and capable as any man’s he’d ever known, yet also gentle with a maternal touch. 95

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Gaige saw Iann standing on Marta’s other side, one hand resting on the hilt of his sword hanging from his belt, the other flexing aged, but still strong, fingers at his side. The grizzled old draegan, with fine gray hair wafting around his shoulders and deep blue eyes that still sparkled with youthful light in spite of his advanced age, was the senior member of the draeganjhere at the camp and had always been a particular favorite of Gaige’s. He nodded at Gaige and Gaige felt an odd surge of reassurance. “Six days ago this happened,” Keiran said, speaking now to the group, but his voice still sounded hoarse as if he were getting sick. “And for six days this camp has continued to be safe. Is there anyone who believes we’d still be standing here right now if Byram had even an inkling where we were?” Murmurs and shaking heads responded. “It won’t be long before General Rizik comes looking for his recalcitrant son,” Jax said with a grunt. “And then the high sorcerer will know soon enough where to find us.” “General Rizik is dead,” Keiran said flatly. “Gaige killed him himself to save my life as we escaped Thrythgar.” A new wave of murmurs passed through the crowd, and for the first time in several minutes Gaige dared to meet the gazes of those gathered. What he saw left him shaken. The nods of approval, of appreciation tore at his insides. He didn’t deserve these people’s approval. ::And yet you can’t stop it. They’ll love you whether you want them to or not.:: Keiran’s voice was a gritty whisper in his head. ::Just as I do.:: 96

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Their gazes met and, in that moment, a blanket of calm settled over Gaige. Whether it came from within himself or was a gift from Keiran, he wasn’t sure. He only knew that he felt a strange, yet steady sense of peace, just as he had in the woods earlier. In a swift motion, Keiran thrust Jax away and sheathed his sword. “We’re done here. Get out of my sight, Jax. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay out of it for a while.” The large draegan didn’t appear the least bit cowed by Keiran or the events that had just transpired. Was he so far lost in his anger and jealousy he could no longer even hear the facts or listen to reason? Would he push on with his agenda, whatever it was? Yes. The thought stirred more discomfort in Gaige than he wanted to admit. In his opinion, Jax was a firestorm waiting to happen and when it did, he didn’t want Keiran or himself anywhere near. “So I’m dismissed then, am I? Your friend of forty years tossed aside, along with my valid concerns, so you can play with your human toy.” He spat the word human as if it were a disgusting lump of something stuck in his craw. Gaige was certain he saw the humans in the circle around them bristle with anger at Jax’s denigration of their species. Keiran stared at Jax with barely concealed disgust. “Gaige is blessed with the blood of both worlds. He’s part human and part draegan. His mother was a draegan—her name was Albione. But I would love him no matter his heritage. And, for the record, he isn’t my ‘toy.’ He is, in fact,” he said succinctly, “my mate. My true mate.” 97

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Gaige’s heart pounded as Keiran grabbed his right hand, lifted it, and side-by-side with his, held them out so the people around them could see the identical thin, new red scars from the blood-letting that creased both their palms. “My gods of Erantz,” Marta murmured, squeezing her fingers around Gaige’s bicep. “There hasn’t been a truemating in decades. With so few of us left, the chances of finding a true mate are so small it would be almost impossible. And yet you two found each other…” Her excitement and wonder were contagious. While the humans showed polite interest, as if they weren’t quite sure what the big deal was, the draegans present gathered around and touched their hands almost reverently or grinned and patted them on the back. The sudden onset of bodies, and the outpouring of emotion overwhelmed Gaige. His heart pounded and his lungs squeezed, making it difficult to draw in air. Unsure how to cope, he desperately reached out for Keiran, using their telepathic link. Within seconds, the intensity of the sensations dampened, as if Keiran had put up some type of protective shield between the draegans and him. He could see them, hear them, but the press of their emotions and their eager contact were now muffled, as if coming to him from a distance, or through a thick pane of glass. He twined his fingers through Keiran’s and gave his hand a grateful squeeze. As he looked up from that, he caught sight of Jax, no longer at the center of attention, but standing at the edge of the 98

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gathering. And for the first time since he’d confronted them, he showed a visible reaction to Keiran’s news. His ruddy skin had paled to the color of faded parchment, except for his cheeks, which blazed with bright red splotches. His dark eyes seemed to bulge from his head as he stared at Keiran’s and Gaige’s clasped hands. His gaze, as Gaige watched, slowly slid up to Keiran’s face. Keiran, speaking to a draegan woman, had his back partially turned and didn’t notice. The world around Gaige slowed to a crawl and all his senses honed in on Jax. He no longer heard anything but his own heart beat and steady breathing and, as he watched Jax staring at Keiran, Jax’s stuttered breaths. He saw Jax blink, saw a sharp moment of pain on his visage that, for one brief second, caused Gaige to feel sorry for him. Then it disappeared, hidden away as if it had never been. His stare grew hard and bitter. His hand, then his arm shifted. And in a moment of crystal clarity, Gaige knew what was about to happen. His long knife drawn, Jax lunged for Keiran. “Keiran!” Gaige shouted, and before Keiran could turn or react, Gaige, with a strength that came from raw adrenaline and fear, dove at Jax from the side. They tumbled to the ground with a jarring thud, in a tangle of arms and legs, as the bodies of those around them scrambled back out of the way. Jax was even taller than Gaige, and heavier, but Gaige, pushed beyond his own injuries and weaknesses by fury and a 99

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burning need to protect what was his, came out on top. His left arm folded in a vise around Jax’s throat. His vrieg, which he’d drawn with his right hand as he moved, dug into the draegan’s skin under his jaw, just below his ear. He managed to get to his knees, then stagger to his feet, dragging the struggling, cursing draegan with him. “Stand up!” Gaige growled, and dug the vrieg in a hair deeper. At the same time, he kicked aside the long knife that had fallen from Jax’s hand when Gaige tackled him. Jax’s fingers bit into Gaige’s arm, trying to pry it away, but in spite of the near blinding pain in Gaige’s shoulder, he held fast. “You should mind your own business, boy,” Jax snapped. Oblivious to everything else around them, Gaige focused on the man who’d just tried to hurt his mate. “You throw accusations at me, yet you would kill your best friend just because you don’t want me to have him?” Gaige tightened his hold on Jax. “In what twisted world do you live?” “Fuck you,” Jax spat in a wheeze, trying again to jerk free. But then he stilled. “Go ahead. Murder me. Then everyone will see I’ve always been right about you.” Rage boiled like hot tar in Gaige’s gut, and all his High Guard instincts told him to slide the blade of the dagger hard and deep across his throat and end him once and for all. Do it. Kill him, and then he won’t ever be able to look down his nose at you, taunt you, or distract you from your mate again. Kill him. Do it now. But the reminder of Keiran only flooded him with 100

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memories of the peace and joy he’d found in his mate’s arms, of the way being with Keiran always made him a better person, and of just how deeply he loved his mate and felt loved in return. And just like that, as if someone had pinched out the flame of fury inside him, the hateful voice was gone, leaving nothing behind but a tiny plume of smoke drifting off in the cold air. “Come on,” Jax taunted. “Murder me. You want to.” Gaige released him and shoved him to the ground. “No. I don’t,” he said with utter honesty. “But if you ever threaten my mate again, if you ever try to harm him again in any way, and there’s a choice to be made between his life and yours…I will kill you in a heartbeat. Don’t ever doubt it.” Keiran stepped up next to Gaige, radiating fury and betrayal. He rested a hand on Gaige’s good shoulder and no one but Gaige would ever know it shook. He lifted his own hand and rested it atop Keiran’s, for a change offering some of his strength. Keiran stared at Jax as the dark-headed draegan pulled himself off the ground. “This camp is about tolerance, about working as a team, and about fighting the real enemy—Byram and his oppression and atrocities—not each other. I’ve known you a long time, Jax, and know you have a good heart. But as long as you continue to see with nothing but anger and hatred, you threaten all we try to do here.” One by one, all the gathered draegans and humans turned their backs on Jax. He glared at Keiran, and especially at Gaige, with bitter 101

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black eyes. “So that’s the way of it then?” he asked with a sneer. Keiran looked to his right and left, at the turned backs of the camp members present. “Yes. The camp has spoken,” Keiran said. “You’re no longer welcome here. May the gods go with you, my friend.” Then Keiran turned his back also, leaving Gaige the only one in the small clearing still facing the wild-eyed draegan. He wasn’t sure what in hel the back-turning meant, but gathered it was some form of banishment. He hesitated to follow suit, though, because his days of following blindly were over. No longer could he act without knowing what or why he was doing something. So he stood, not flinching, as Jax’s gaze bored into him, daring him to turn. Finally, after long moments of stand-off, Jax grinned and it almost looked normal, except for the fiery glint of anger in the depths of his eyes. “He trusts you,” he said, his voice low, intimate almost. “They all trust you. But you and I…we know the truth, don’t we, Panther? One day, this heroic veneer you’ve slipped on is going to crumble, and then they’ll see who you really are.” He leaned closer. “A murderer. You’re just like your father.” Then with another smarmy grin, he turned and strode off into the woods as if it were any other day and he was heading out for a walk. Gaige watched him go. “No,” he said softly. “I’m not.”

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CHAPTER 6

Keiran’s promise of a hot bath and bed, as well-intentioned as it had been, didn’t come to immediate fruition as Gaige had hoped. Though, in reality, he hadn’t expected it to. After Jax’s departure, he, Keiran, Marta and Iann went to Keiran’s large tent in an isolated and extra-magick-protected area northeast of the main part of the camp. Marta pushed Gaige down onto one of the benches at the rough-hewn wood table and he was too tired to protest when, with a gentle touch, she cleaned his shoulder, applied an herbal salve, and bandaged it. Keiran, apology still haunting his eyes, handed him one of his own shirts to wear. Their fingers brushed, causing a tremor of heat to spread 103

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through Gaige. Wondering if Keiran felt it, too, he reached out via their mental connection to see…and was surprised to discover he couldn’t read him. Much like whatever magick Keiran had used to shield him from the overwhelming press of people earlier out in the clearing, it felt as if Keiran had erected a similar shield around himself. Gaige could see him, touch him, but where before he’d been able to sense his thoughts and emotions, now a barrier held him at bay, forcing him to observe Keiran from a distance, but not allowing him to get close. What was going on? ::Keiran, are you okay?:: Keiran removed his heavy cloak, and as Iann stoked the fire, he rolled a large map of Velensperia out on the table and anchored each corner with a stone. He didn’t respond or appear to have even heard Gaige. ::Keiran…:: Still nothing. A troubled sense of panic overtook him, tightening bands around his chest. Yet a tiny flame of anger sparked inside him as well at the thought his lover would shut him out. Was Keiran ignoring him? Or had he barricaded himself so completely he didn’t even hear Gaige? In either case, why would he do such a thing? Especially after all that had happened today. He opened his mouth to seek an answer, but stopped when he remembered they weren’t alone. Iann now leaned over the map with Keiran, Marta worked on something at the fire, and 104

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Wen, Marta’s son, whom Keiran had sent for and asked to join them, had just entered the tent. Gaige had already had an audience once today for what he’d hoped to keep private between him and Keiran, so he bit back the words. As he watched Keiran, though, he realized aside from the brief contact when he’d given Gaige the shirt, Keiran had barely looked at him or spoken to him since the confrontation with Jax. Was he grieving over the loss of Jax and didn’t want Gaige to know it? From what Jax had said, they’d been friends longer than Gaige had even been alive—which reminded him of the conversation he and Keiran had been having when Jax interrupted this morning. If what Keiran had told him was true, he was much older than Gaige had ever dreamed. And now Jax, his best friend, was gone, banished from the camp. Marta had confirmed as much as they’d walked. Jax had also been one of Keiran’s right-hand, trusted lieutenants, a loss Keiran no doubt already felt as they prepared to face Byram. Plus, the possibility the angry draegan and Keiran had been lovers hung like a piece of dirty linen flapping in a foul wind, causing a dull throb in Gaige’s heart. Was Keiran regretting being mated to him and wishing he weren’t saddled with a tainted, young-by-his-standards halfhuman? Gods…worse, a young, half-human who couldn’t, in any way, be good enough for a draegan descended from the line of the true draegan lords. No. He loves you. You know that. Gaige dragged in a pained breath. That didn’t mean he 105

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couldn’t have regrets, didn’t resent the fact he’d had to choose between Gaige and whatever Jax had been to him. “Drink this.” Marta set a mug of warmed, spiced sorral wine in front of him. “You need to warm up.” He wrapped his fingers around the heavy pottery, letting the heat soak into them, but certain no matter how much of the heady, sweet, hot beverage he consumed, it wouldn’t warm him at his core, which felt chilled and barren. ::Keiran…:: He tried one more time, aching for a connection, for reassurance. But to no avail. Trying not to focus on how much that lost bond hurt, he lifted the mug to drink. But with it halfway to his mouth, his stomach lurched as another thought occurred to him… What if it wasn’t Keiran? What if it was him? What if he couldn’t read his lover’s thoughts and emotions because his ability to do so was fading? He’d been able to sense, in a vague fashion, Keiran’s emotions for several days now, but not with the clarity and intensity he had today. And he’d only been able to communicate with him using the telepathic speech since this morning. It had come on fast, and maybe it had left just as fast. He thought back, his mind racing, to pinpoint when the ability had surfaced. Directly after the joining in the woods. That’s right. Immediately after that, with Keiran’s semen still surging through his insides. But that had been a few hours ago, and though his body ached in intimate places, his internal 106

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muscles and organs no longer quivered from the effects of it. He reached across the table and set a hand atop Keiran’s. “I need to talk to you,” he said in a low voice, urgency to understand burning like a lump of Cydonian tar in his gut. Keiran looked up from the map to meet his gaze. “What is it?” he asked, concern evident in his voice, which made Gaige feel a bit better. “In private.” His dark brows drew together, and relief flooded Gaige when Keiran nodded. He’d been half afraid he’d refuse. Keiran gestured toward the opening that led into the bedroom portion of the tent, and Gaige rose. Marta’s youngest boy tore into the tent just then, breathing hard. “I have a message for Hareldson,” he gasped, clutching his side. “Whoa! Slow down,” Marta said, crossing to her son, who was almost as tall as she. “What is it?” Keiran gave Gaige a contrite look. “I’m sorry. Later?” Gaige had no choice but to nod. “I promise,” Keiran said, before he turned to join Marta and the boy. The words were spoken in a gentle tone, and Gaige couldn’t fault him for putting his role as leader first, but he felt a pang of hurt nonetheless over being dismissed. Giving himself a mental shake, he squashed it, knowing Keiran’s loyalties had lain with his people long before he’d ever entered the picture…as they should. His concerns and insecurities over something as personal as whether or not he 107

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could “feel” his lover had no place here. Keiran was the leader of his people. They needed him. Which was why Gaige had almost left Velensperia before Byram captured him…because he hadn’t wanted to be a distraction to Keiran. The draegans, and the humans who’d allied themselves with them, were about to enter a fight for their very lives. They all had tasks to do here. But that knowledge didn’t stop the emotional storm roiling inside him. He sighed. In many ways, life had been easier when he’d been able to hold himself aloof and face the world with icy calm. As the White Panther he’d known where he stood, what was expected of him, and he’d been able to attend to his duties without this damned constant confusion twisting his entrails, making him feel as if he were being turned inside out. The youth, Allend, who looked no more than fifteen—but Gaige had given up trying to guess draegan ages any more— had been sent by a camp sentry to report a large detachment of the high sorcerer’s troops had been spotted in the south forest, just a few hours away from the camp. “This is the third group in as many days,” Marta told Keiran. “But none have yet come close to the screen. We’ve doubled the foot patrols around the outside of the camp to keep an eye on them.” Keiran nodded, his expression sober. He rested a hand on Allend’s shoulder. “Who’s on duty at the south post?” “Hamith, sir.” “All right, you tell Hamith that when the foot patrols check 108

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in with him, he’s to tell them to watch only, but not risk confrontation. For now the sorcerer’s soldiers don’t know we’re here—they’re probably just passing through—and we want to keep it that way as long as possible.” Allend nodded, suffered through a tousle of his shoulderlength sandy hair and peck on the forehead from his mother, and sprinted away, his bow and quiver jouncing against his back. Keiran returned to the table, his gaze troubled. He dragged the tip of his forefinger along an area of the map. “They’re crossing through the forest here. Which is the same place Gaige and I saw the group of them almost a fortnight ago. The ones traveling to meet the wagons that held the draegan children Byram was transporting. Where have the other troops been seen?” “The same area,” Iann said. “With one small group, we suspect a scouting party, several days ago on the east side as well,” Marta added. Keiran turned to Gaige. “You know Byram’s methods, his troop patterns better than anyone here. Any idea what his game plan might be?” Gaige gave a mental sigh. He wished with all his being he could put his life as the captain of the High Guard behind him, forget all he’d done. But he understood the role he had to play here…the advisor with inside information. And gods knew he wanted to end Byram. There was also a certain poetic irony in it…he’d been sent here to spy on the draegans’ inner workings and report to Byram so Byram could crush them. Instead, now 109

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he’d turned the tables and could use his years of experience and his knowledge of the high sorcerer’s inner workings to help destroy him. He studied the map, forcing all thoughts from his mind except how he or his father or Byram would have planned a campaign such as this, to overtake and destroy the straggling remains of a people who threatened the high sorcerer’s rule. He and Keiran had discussed this very thing over the past three days as they’d traveled—speculating about Byram’s activities. The fact the sorcerer had troops passing through the forest so near the camp and in the same place he and Keiran had first seen them became the focal point of his musings. Why here? In his mind’s eye, he traced a path on the map between Thrythgar and the camp. “There’s nothing much between us and Thrythgar except forest and the Ravenwilde Flats. The closest villages are Lafaria at the intersection of the Plains and East Roads, some thirty leagues southwest of the camp. And Glint, north along the Plains Road, about sixty leagues from here. The troops’ trek through the forest south of the camp doesn’t lead them to either.” He frowned and slid a finger along the map. “It would bring them to the Plains Road, however, by allowing them to travel undercover from Thrythgar the entire way, rather than be out and obvious on the East Road. And it might be faster as well.” “He’s got troops along the East Road, too, though. We saw 110

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them,” Keiran said. “Yes, but he’s probably just trying to cover all his bases. Byram doesn’t know where this camp is. His spies saw me near the Charn River six weeks ago. He may think we’re farther north and east, may even think we’re in the mountains, either here”—he pointed to the mountains northeast of Thrythgar—“in the Aurion range. Or to the south, in the White Mountains.” “Near Kellesborne,” Iann said. “But he won’t find it.” “No, he won’t. And, in truth, Byram is just self-important enough to think we’d never dare be anywhere that close to his stronghold. The possibility would be inconceivable to him. And the White Mountains are south of the road. When Keiran and I traveled here from Kellesborne, my impression was that Byram was focusing troops on the road itself and northward into the forest. Before we got to the road, we saw no one.” “Not a sign of any activity until we hit the East Road,” Keiran agreed. “Which leads me to believe he thinks we’re either in the forest, or in the eastern mountains. Do we have any idea what troop activity is like to the east?” Gaige asked. “It’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve had any contact with scouts in that area,” Marta said. In other words, before Byram had captured Gaige or discovered Keiran was a firebreather. “Though it stands to reason,” Marta continued, her tone thoughtful, “that if Byram’s got the East Road covered and is sending soldiers through the forest, and also is increasing the 111

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guard near the Great Plain, it’s likely he’s sending troops along the mountains as well. Especially if, as you said, he thinks we might be hidden there.” “Byram has a field outpost here, just north of the Charn River Valley, in the mountains. It’s where he trains soldiers for duty in the eastern realms. He’s got detachments of troops cutting across the forest to the Plains Road here. We know that initial batch we ran into were headed to escort the wagons with the children to Gelvish, and we overhead some of the men saying Byram was increasing the number of soldiers who’d be escorting his ‘shipments’ across the Great Plain from now on.” Gaige grimaced. “I hate to say it, but I think we can assume there are more draegan children somewhere in the outer realms. Considering we spirited the last ones away, he’ll most likely try again.” “Gods…I don’t even want to think about it,” Marta said. “Those poor darlings. And what does he want with them? What’s he doing with them?” “We don’t know yet, Marta, but we’ll figure it out,” Keiran said. “In the meantime, one thing we can do is monitor the Plains Road for any more wagons like that.” “The sorcerer won’t follow the same path again. He’ll know we’re watching and will intercept them,” Iann interjected. “I agree,” Gaige said. “But I also agree we can’t let him get his hands on any more kids. I don’t know what he planned to do with them, but we’re not letting him have a single one.” 112

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Bile burned in his gut at the thought of Byram hurting another child—any child, draegan or human. “The escort was supposed to take them to Gelvish, so I recommend we find out what the hel’s at Gelvish.” “Already done,” Marta said. “I sent two scouts out last week. Jax didn’t agree, but he was overruled.” She looked at Iann, who nodded. “We haven’t heard back from them yet, though.” A sigh escaped her. “It would be so much easier if we could fly. They could have been there and back in a day or two and we’d know something.” Keiran gave her shoulder a squeeze. “I know. But you did well.” If Keiran felt anything one way or another when Jax’s name was mentioned, he didn’t show it. And Gaige didn’t feel it, which caused another twinge of pain in his chest at the loss. He forced himself to push it aside again and stay focused on the issue at hand. He studied the map, then nodded. “With all the activity, it looks to me like Byram’s moving troops as fast as he can to cut off all the main roads into and out of this portion of Velensperia.” “That’s a big area,” Wen commented, speaking up for the first time. The wiry, lean young draegan, Marta’s spitting image, with his shaggy yellow-blond hair, freckles, and bright green eyes, stood perched with a hip against the table, gnawing at his lower lip. Gaige hadn’t ever seen the young man as part of Keiran’s inner council discussions before now. He wondered if Keiran had decided to bring Wen in to help fill Jax’s loss. “How could he possibly think he could contain 113

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us?” “Look…” Gaige motioned to the map. “We’re bordered on the west by the Great Plain, on the east by the Aurion Mountains, which are virtually uncrossable in winter—winter will be upon us soon, remember—except through the Charn River Valley, right where Byram has an outpost. He’s holding the East Road. That leaves the far northern realms, which are bisected by the Black Mountains and the Great Lake of Ballansphere. That leaves a narrow gap between the Black Mountains and the Aurions of maybe thirty leagues.” “A bottleneck,” Keiran said. “Exactly.” “You think he’s sending troops through the forest to the Plains Road, then north to Glint and beyond. He’s boxing us in,” Keiran murmured, scuffing a hand over his bearded chin. “That would be my guess.” “And from there?” “He’ll most likely start trying to unearth draegan settlements, looking for you.” “Not an easy thing to do. Most of the groups are scattered and small—no more than a handful of draegans—and some live amongst humans. For him it’ll be like looking for a needle in a entire country of haystacks.” Guilt ripped through Gaige. “I found you,” he said softly.

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CHAPTER 7

Silence descended on the group as his words sank in. Marta was the first to speak. “He has a scary point, Keiran.” “He’ll stop at nothing to find you and kill you,” Gaige said quietly, watching Keiran, who still peered hard at the map as if it might somehow provide a miracle. “Especially now. After what happened when we left Thrythgar.” Keiran’s head shot up and his gaze, churning with intensity, locked on Gaige’s. ::They don’t all know about me. Don’t tell them.:: Gaige almost reeled backward from the strength of the gravelly words in his head. He stared at Keiran, more than a 115

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little in shock to be hearing him and to feel such a powerful flash of jumbled emotion from him. But as fast as the connection had opened, Keiran closed it, leaving Gaige stranded and on the outside once again. Which meant…it wasn’t him after all. Keiran was keeping him out. He didn’t even bother to try to respond telepathically because he felt the same blank wall he had earlier and knew it would do no good. You want to tell me what in hel’s going on? he wanted to shout at his lover. But yet again, having an audience held him back. Marta, Iann, and Wen stared at them, as if they’d sensed something bouncing between the two of them. Or maybe it was just curiosity over what Gaige had said. “What happened when you left Thrythgar?” Marta asked. Gaige let his gaze bore into Keiran, hoping that even with his wall up, the draegan would pick up on his hurt and anger. If he didn’t want the others to know the truth, that he was a firebreather and Byram knew it now, then he could tell the story. Gaige refused to tiptoe around, trying to keep track of what he was and wasn’t allowed to say. “Just that we escaped in the first place,” Keiran responded. “That we left by wing right under his nose. And the fact Gaige killed General Rizik.” “Byram’s going to be hel-bent on revenge after that,” Marta agreed. “Maybe we should consider relocating? It would be safer for you, Keiran.” “To where?” Wen wanted to know. 116

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Kellesborne, Gaige thought. But he didn’t say it aloud, knowing it was nothing more than wishful thinking. Keiran had already explained to him why the great white stone fortress had been abandoned, and supporting the hundred or so people in the camp up there would be almost impossible under the circumstances. “Kellesborne?” Marta said, echoing his thought. “As Gaige said, it’s the last place Byram would think we were because it’s so close to Thrythgar.” Keiran sighed. “If we could fly without risk…maybe. But as it stands…” He shook his head. “You’ve been there before, yes?” “Once, when I was a girl. When a handful of draegans still lived there.” “Then you know how steep and narrow the mountain path is to approach by foot. As I told Gaige, Kellesborne was built on the side of that mountain for protective reasons. It’s meant to be flown into and out of. If we can’t take winged form and fly openly, how would we get supplies up there to feed all these people? It would be impossible on foot. And with the heavy troop presence, how would we get this many souls through the forest and across the East Road to the White Mountains in the first place?” “It might be an impossible challenge all the way around,” she conceded. “Well, then we have to just keep our draeganjhere sharp and ready here.” “Agreed. There is one more potential weapon we have against the sorcerer. Gaige…?” He gestured toward his pack 117

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resting against the pine pole in the middle of the tent. Gaige nodded, knowing to what he was referring, and rose to open it. He pulled the large, extraordinarily heavy, giltedged leather tome from it. Restrained magick seemed to pulsate from it, and just holding it caused the hair on Gaige’s arms to stand on end. He set it on the wooden table with a thunk. “A book?” Wen asked. “Not just any book,” Keiran said, once again looking at Gaige, as if encouraging him to explain. Still more than a little put out with Keiran, he nonetheless picked up the reins of the conversation Keiran was handing him. “This is Byram’s grimoire.” “Bloody hel,” Wen croaked. Marta sank onto one of the benches, a hand over her mouth. Iann exhibited no emotion in particular, but his eyes glittered with interest. “How did you get this?” Marta asked in a breathy voice. “We stole it.” “It was Gaige’s suggestion, as we were leaving Thrythgar. He knew where the sorcerer kept it.” “Keiran was able to break the magick that kept it locked. There’s just one problem. A big one…” Gaige lifted the large cover and opened the book to the first page, then turned several other pages, giving the others a good look at them. “We have no idea what language it’s written in. So if anyone has any ideas…” 118

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They passed it around the table and everyone looked through it. Except Wen. “Do you feel that?” he asked, holding a palm over it and grimacing. “I don’t like it.” He drew his hand back. “Anything that makes my skin crawl even before the magick’s unleashed isn’t anything I want to touch.” “It won’t hurt you,” Marta assured him. “I suspect it holds a hundred-plus years worth of spells, incantations, and rituals that, collectively, can be used to alter states. But the words on the page alone aren’t enough to make the sorcerer’s magick work.” “His magick isn’t like ours,” Iann explained to the young draegan, but Gaige listened with interest as well, considering he’d just had his own first brush with creating magick of his own early this morning on the shield around the camp. “For draegans, magick is inherent…it’s part of who we are, woven into our genetic code. But Byram is human, which makes him a self-made magician. Some humans have an aptitude for learning to harness energies and mold them. But unlike us, they don’t have the ability on their own. They have to rely on spells, charms, potions, and paraphernalia to alter the state of objects or people or even the atmosphere.” Gaige thought about the fire Byram had conjured around the battlements as he and Keiran escaped Thrythgar. Of the mists he sometimes summoned to hide the passage of his troops. Of the charms he’d created and given to Gaige over the years to alter his appearance when he needed to blend in, like the one he’d used when he first came to the draegan camp. 119

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Even the seeing stone Gaige had carried at Byram’s insistence, so the sorcerer could stay in contact with him—Keiran had explained to him as they traveled that it was done with illusion rather than any true magick in the stone itself. “Byram,” Iann continued, in the slow, measured pace of an old man with a story to tell, “has become a master conjurer, and his knowledge of and skill with spells and potions is legendary. When the sorcerer Pallendion took him on as a pupil all those many years ago, Byram’s skill soon surpassed his master’s because he had such a fierce drive to go places and do things no sorcerer ever had before. Often, his study bordered on obsessive, and his experiments crossed lines that shouldn’t be crossed. Pallendion died in an accident a few years after apprenticing Byram and many believe Byram killed him because the old teacher tried to rein him in.” “Some say it’s a spell that’s allowed the high sorcerer to live as long as he has,” Wen said. “Do you think that’s so?” “I think even a powerful magician is still human. Therefore, it’s nothing natural that’s kept him alive these many long years. Alive and still looking much the same as he did when he first waged war on the draegan race.” Iann spoke of a past Gaige had only ever heard of in tales. A past the old draegan wasn’t recounting from hearsay, but one he’d lived in, been a part of. With a troubled flutter in his stomach, he remembered Keiran had lived it, too. How old was Keiran? Gaige knew draegans aged much more slowly than humans and that some draegans could live to be almost two hundred. But if Keiran 120

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had been there when Byram waged war the first time… I was a boy and I watched everyone I loved die. …then that would make him over a hundred. Gaige swallowed past the lump in his throat. At a hundred or more, even as draegans aged, he should look older than he did. Yet his appearance made him seem of no greater age than Gaige…in his thirties. As the others continued talking and the conversation turned to camp matters and what all had occurred while Gaige and Keiran had been gone, Gaige studied his mate from under a hooded gaze. Keiran’s body, still clearly in its prime and so masculine and beautiful it made Gaige’s pulse race, was hard and muscular, though not overlarge like Jax’s. Rather, he had an athletic build, with definition rather than bulk. His thick, wavy mane of hair, a deep rich brown with golden highlights, which Keiran today wore pulled back at the nape of his neck with a strip of leather, held not a strand of gray that Gaige could see. Neither did his week’s worth of facial hair. His skin was rugged and tanned, but aside from lines around his mouth and eyes that Gaige knew intimately came from both laughter and worry, no wrinkles marred his countenance. His eyes, so often full of life and love and even mischief from time to time, were perhaps the only indicator he was older than he looked. And even then, it hadn’t been until today Gaige had noticed how worldly those soft silver-gray orbs could be. ::Keiran, damn it! Why are you shutting me out? I have so many questions. I need to understand.:: 121

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He didn’t expect a response and got none. His shoulder gave a sharp twinge that made him grimace. He brought a hand up to press against it, to stem the ache. Suddenly so weary he couldn’t even think, he sucked in a breath, then let it out with a quiet sigh. Needing a distraction from his lover, he dragged the sorcerer’s grimoire over in front of him and turned to the first page, letting his eyes roam over the small, dark, elaborate print, looking for something recognizable. Their inability to glean any information from the book was a particular thorn in his side, since he was convinced it held the answers to many of their questions. He believed that if Byram had a weakness—and every being did, even one as full of his own self-importance as Byram—it would be in this grimoire, which was more than just the sorcerer’s spell-book, it was also his journal. Gaige had been the one who’d convinced Keiran they should steal it before they left the sorcerer’s stronghold, and the delay in doing so had very nearly cost them both their lives. Yet the gods damned thing clung to its secrets as tightly as a mrhova vulture clung to a piece of carrion. Gaige continued to leaf through the crackling pages long after the others had moved on to other topics. At some point, and he wasn’t sure when, he rose long enough to find parchment, quill and ink, and began jotting down words and symbols he saw used over and over. When Marta set a bowl of stew in front of him and another mug of wine, he looked up long enough to thank her, then 122

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returned to his work as he ate and drank. The thin parchment pages and their contents mesmerized him, seduced him, and it became a challenge, like trying to piece together a puzzle when you weren’t even sure what the pieces looked like. “Gaige?” Keiran’s hand on his good shoulder, warm and squeezing gently, finally brought him back to his body and the world around him. He brought his gaze up from the book and blinked. “Sorry,” he mumbled, when he realized it wasn’t the first time Keiran had spoken his name. Between the tiny writing and sheer exhaustion, his eyes burned and his mind felt as sharp as a mud puddle. He looked around and noticed it had grown dark outside. No wonder his eyes ached—the dim candlelight gave off little illumination. Wen and Marta had left, and Iann was busy putting more wood on the fire and stacking extra next to it to be used during the night. “What were you saying?” Keiran shook his head. Worry lines creased his forehead. “You’ve been poring over that book and writing for hours.” Gaige looked down and realized he’d filled dozens of sheets with words and symbols that meant nothing to him. “I just…I feel like I should be able to sort some of this out.” Keiran’s hand squeezed again and the contact felt so good after having so little all day, a tremor of need quaked through Gaige. He closed his eyes and savored his lover’s touch. “You’re exhausted,” Keiran said. “I promised you a bath 123

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and bed hours ago. I’m sorry.” “There were more important things to deal with.” Even his voice felt tired, ratcheting up out of his throat. “Allend filled the bathing tub from the hot spring.” “He did?” he asked, surprised, his eyes popping open again. He’d missed it completely, so caught up had he been in the damned grimoire. “He did. Go have a soak, then get some sleep,” Keiran said as he picked up his wool cloak off the bench and pulled it on. “Where are you going?” Keiran slid his bow and quiver over his shoulder. “I’m going to walk the camp with Marta tonight, just to be sure everything’s secure.” A cold, dull blade thrusting into his belly couldn’t have hurt any worse. All day he’d looked forward to having Keiran to himself, to being able to get answers about why Keiran was holding him at a distance. But instead, Keiran was still pushing him away, and sending him off to bed alone. “I’ll wait for you,” Gaige told him. “No. You’ve waited long enough. You need to sleep, Gaige. And I don’t know how long I’ll be.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Gaige’s head, and with a nod to Iann, was gone. The knot that had lain heavily in Gaige’s gut all day gave a brutal throb. He’d just been dismissed again. He pushed the book and papers away with an angry huff. “I remember your mother,” Iann said, straightening from 124

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the fire and brushing his hands together. The words blindsided Gaige. He looked up at the old draegan. “What?” he whispered. Iann sank onto the bench next to him, his bones and joints popping, and nodded. “I knew her when she was a child. She had eyes the color of the sky. Just like yours.” Gaige’s heart pounded. “How? When?” Ian stretched his legs out before him, leaned back against the table, and rubbed a hand over his grizzled cheeks. He stared into the fire and, for a painful moment, he seemed so lost in thought Gaige was afraid he wouldn’t answer. “Her mother, your grandmother, was an advisor to the draegan lord. This was before Byram killed the human king and declared himself high sorcerer and ruler of the lands. Your mother, Albione, was a beautiful child…full of light and love. I remember her playing with her dolls, dancing with them, her long blonde hair swinging behind her, and making everyone around her smile at her antics.” Gaige’s chest ached at the image Iann presented. How had a carefree child like that ended up betrayed and murdered by Everard Rizik? Where was the fairness in that? “Why?” he whispered. “Why?” “Why would she have slept with my father? Wanted to have a child with him, considering who he was? He murdered her when I was born.” “When he realized she was a draegan?” The same question Keiran had asked. 125

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“Yes.” “Love makes people do strange things, Gaige. It’s not logical. It’s from the heart and it knows no restrictions…race, age, gender mean nothing where love is concerned. And sometimes people who love deeply will do anything they can to protect that love.” Something inside him said Iann’s words were doubleedged…that they weren’t just talking about his parents, but also about him and Keiran. Was he somehow trying to explain why Keiran had closed him out today? Or could Iann even know that? Then something Keiran had said to him earlier, when he’d stopped Gaige from speaking of how Keiran was a firebreather, stirred in him. Keiran had said, They don’t all know. Implying someone else in the tent besides the two of them did know. “You were there with Keiran, weren’t you? At Kellesborne, when he was a child?” “Yes. I was a member of his family’s draeganjhere.” His gaze grew troubled, and frown lines creased his already heavily lined skin, as if he were remembering difficult events. Gaige’s sympathies stirred. Of course he remembered difficult events…Byram and his troops had killed Keiran’s family. If Iann had been a member of their draeganjhere, it couldn’t be easy to know some of his charges had died. “Iann, just how old is Keiran?” The old man’s bushy gray eyebrows rose. “He hasn’t told you?” 126

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He shook his head. “He only just told me this morning of his heritage. But he didn’t go into detail about much of anything. We were…interrupted.” “Then the answers you seek shouldn’t come from me. You need to talk to your mate about it.” Yeah, if his mate would talk to him. “Then let me ask you this,” he said. “If Keiran was around when Byram first struck out at the draegans, he has to be over a hundred. Except he doesn’t look it, even for a draegan. Why? And don’t the others wonder why he looks so good for his age?” “His lieutenants believe him to be much younger than he is. And he chooses to keep it that way. He thinks it’s safer for them if they don’t know.” A twinge of uncertainty fluttered in Gaige’s stomach. “I don’t understand. Even Jax thought that? Why?” “Draegans, as a whole, do age more slowly than humans…some draegans can live to be almost two hundred. In the ancient days, some lived longer—as much as three hundred years. But over the millennia, the blood of the common draegan has been watered down. The line of the true draegan lords, however, has held strong throughout time.” “Meaning they live longer than regular draegans?” “Much.” Understanding sunk in as to why Keiran would have kept his real age secret—if the others knew his age, yet saw him still looking so young, it would have given away his heritage. “How much?” 127

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“Most can live twice as long as an average draegan today.” Gaige’s heart pounded so hard it felt as if it might explode from his chest. “Four hundred years?” he rasped. “Or more.” Gaige clutched the edge of the table so hard his fingernails dug into the wood. “I’m half-human and only half-draegan. Even if I live to old age for me, he’ll…” “You need to hear the facts from your mate, Gaige. I’ve already said more than I should.” Then his expression softened and he seemed to take pity on him. “But don’t over-worry it. You’re ‘imlain’ du draeganlahn.” “Keiran told me that means true mate of a draegan.” Iann chuckled. “It doesn’t mean true mate of a draegan. It means true mate of a draegan lord.” “And that’s supposed to comfort me?” Iann’s expression turned sympathetic. “He really hasn’t told you much, has he?” “No.” The lone word sounded as resentful as Gaige felt. Iann rose and clasped Gaige on the shoulder in the traditional gesture of greeting and leave-taking. “Be patient with him, my friend. He’s as new to this business of truemating as you are. I suspect you’ll both learn much about one another, and about yourselves, over the next few weeks and months.” He donned a weathered brown cloak that looked as if it might be as old as he was. “Try to get some sleep.” He turned and headed to the tent flap. “Great. Everybody wants me to sleep.” 128

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Iann paused and looked back over his shoulder. “If it helps to put things in perspective…I’ve known Keiran all his life and he’s never looked at anyone else the way he looks at you. He loves you. Powerfully. Passionately. And remember what I told you about love…” Then with a nod, he slipped through the flap, leaving Gaige alone.

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CHAPTER 8

Darkness enshrouded the tent when Keiran returned, except for the glow of coals in the fire of the main room. He tied the flap closed, pulled off his cloak and draped it over a bench at the table, added a couple more logs to the fire, then stirred it until they caught and a new flame crackled to life. In the bedroom, the soft flicker of yellow from the fire crept through the open doorway, giving him enough light to make out Gaige’s form in the large pallet bed. What the fire didn’t illuminate, he could discern with his draegan-enhanced night vision, which allowed him to see Gaige’s heat patterns and know he lay on his side facing away from Keiran. 130

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His throat tightened with emotion as he realized just how much he wanted to crawl into bed next to his sleeping mate, pull him into his arms, and lose himself in the comfort of his warm body. After the way Keiran had treated him today, though, he was afraid Gaige might not even be speaking to him, much less be willing to share intimacies. Guilt settled hard in the pit of his belly, right where it had been most of the day. When he’d left the tent earlier to patrol, Marta had taken one route and he’d taken another—leaving him hours of dark solitude to wrestle with his thoughts and actions. He’d been an ass and deserved it if Gaige didn’t want to have anything to do with him. He tried to reassure himself it was a good sign his mate was here at all and hadn’t returned to his old tent alone. That possibility had haunted him as he’d trudged through the woods. He shed his clothes and bathed quickly in the now-chilly bath water. The cold shock of it and the brisk scent of the sage and citrus soap rejuvenated his senses, but didn’t do anything to ease the ache in his heart. He debated whether or not to shave off the week’s worth of scruff on his face. It’d probably be better to wait until morning when he could see what in hel he was doing. But then decided he was tired of the itch, so soaped his face and scraped a blade along his chin, cheeks, and neck by practiced feel. The night air, in spite of the fire, seeped into him as he toweled his hair and body dry. He crossed to the bed, lifted the blankets, and slid into the cocoon of warmth. He eased closer 131

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to Gaige, not wanting to wake him, but craving physical contact so much he hurt. Before he could slide an arm around Gaige’s waist, however, his mate rolled onto his back. Keiran paused. Even in the dark he felt his lover’s gaze on him, and the energy swirling around his body didn’t invite intimacy. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” “You didn’t wake me.” “You’ve been awake all this time? Have you gotten any sleep?” The thought of Gaige lying here sleepless for hours only intensified his own guilt. “I’ve had a few things on my mind.” The words, though spoken softly in Gaige’s deep voice, were husky and tinged with restrained anger. The sigh that escaped Keiran felt as if it might be pulling his insides up and out along with it. “I know,” he murmured. He wasn’t going to insult Gaige by pretending not to know of what he spoke. “I’d just hoped maybe you’d be able to get some sleep while I was gone. It’s been more than a day and night since we were able to close our eyes for a while, and even longer since you had a full night of comfortable sleep at Kellesborne.” Gaige turned over to face him, cradling his head on one hand. “You shut me out today, Keiran. Utterly. Then tonight you left without asking me if I wanted to join you, and sent me off to bed with a peck on the head like I was a child. Is that the way you see me?” 132

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“No!” He stared at his mate, aghast at Gaige’s perception of what had happened. “My gods, I didn’t mean it like that at all. You looked so tired and drained I couldn’t imagine dragging you out on patrol tonight. I told you, I was hoping you’d be able to get some well-deserved sleep.” “And the fact it would make it easier for you to continue holding me at a distance if you left never crossed your mind, I suppose. Nor did the hope I’d be asleep when you returned, if you decided to return, so you could delay having to talk to me until morning. Unless, of course, you had some all-important thing you had to rush off to handle in the morning also.” The nasty, hot ball of guilt inside him burgeoned to an almost unbearable weight. He hadn’t expected to get off easy and knew he deserved his mate’s censure. But Gaige wasn’t holding back, and the truth in his words seared straight to Keiran’s soul. Gaige’s calm, even tone only made Keiran feel worse because he knew beneath it his mate was hurt and angry, yet doing a far better job of handling it than he would have if their positions were reversed. It had been foolish to think hiding behind a self-created wall would somehow protect Gaige. “After everything that’s happened, do you have any idea what it felt like to me to be completely cut off from you?” Gaige asked. “To have spent the past days linked to you in almost every possible integral way, to feel it when you breathed, when you smiled, when you experienced pleasure, when you hurt. To be so close to you that sometimes it was even hard to tell what bits were you and what were me. And 133

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then”—he snapped his fingers—“just like that it was gone, and each time I tried to reach out to you, I was met with a cold, barren wall.” Keiran swallowed hard, though his constricting throat made it almost impossible. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t think how it might feel to you.” And he hadn’t. He’d only been selfishly thinking about how he wanted to hide his own tumultuous emotions and fears from his mate. Gaige rolled onto his back again with a loud exhale, then draped an arm over his eyes as if, even in the dark, the sight of Keiran was more than he could bear. “I thought it was me,” he said quietly. “I spent the first part of the day thinking something was wrong with me. That the abilities I’ve had since our joining might be disappearing.” “Oh, gods,” Keiran whispered. He’d done even more damage than he’d thought because of his senseless actions. “But then you were loud and clear in my head when you told me not to tell the others about our escape from Byram’s stronghold. At that point I realized it wasn’t me at all. I realized you’d purposely erected a barrier between us to keep me from getting too close. So, ever since then, I’ve been wondering why. Why would you do such a thing? Why, after everything we’ve been through together, would you cut me out of your life now? And all I can figure is that you’re regretting being mated to me. That what happened this morning with Jax made you realize I’m not what you need or want, and you’re not only wishing you hadn’t had to choose between me and your best friend, you’re also thinking you 134

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made the wrong choice.” Shock and then shame flooded through Keiran at Gaige’s words and the heartsick tone in his voice. “No! You are the one I want, Gaige. The only one I’ve ever wanted.” “You and Jax had a past. I understand that. And I suspect at least part of it was spent as more than just friends.” “We were lovers for a while,” Keiran admitted. “But it was a long time ago, and I’m the one who ended it because I knew I could never give him what he wanted. And he could never be what I wanted.” “He loved you, though. Loves you still. I saw it in his eyes today.” He said it as if daring Keiran to deny it. But he couldn’t deny it. “I know he does. And part of his anger issues are with me because of that. Because I don’t return those feelings. I never have.” Silence followed his response. A silence so profound he heard his own pulse throbbing through his veins. Just when Keiran thought Gaige had had given up on him, and he struggled with how to get his mate talking to him again without making things worse, Gaige finally said, “Then why? If not Jax and not you having doubts about us, why would you lock me out? Damn it, Keiran, why?” The hurt desperation in his voice was the brittle straw that finally broke Keiran. His chest ached with such fierceness he wanted to shout out his anguish. The words rushed from him before he could stop them. “Because I hate what happened this morning! I hate what I did to you, what I subjected you to out 135

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there. And the guilt of it is killing me.” He tossed the blankets aside, rose from the bed, and paced, dragging his hands through his still-damp hair. “What?” Gaige’s voice was soft and almost imperceptible over the now-brutal pounding of Keiran’s heart. “I raked you over the coals, Gaige, against your will, determined to expose your every secret to all those people. And I justified my behavior by telling myself it was for the greater good. That the people needed to see and hear the truth of what happened, so they’d understand how brutal Byram could be, the danger they’re in. And…” He sighed and shook his head. “And so they’d believe in you. I just damn well didn’t want anyone to say anything else bad about you. I wanted them to know you the way I do, to know the real, honorable, true-hearted man you are.” “Keiran…” “No. I know what you’re going to say, so just don’t. Yes, I’m aware of who and what you were as the White Panther. But we’ve already been through this, Gaige, and you know where I stand on the matter, how I feel. I wanted the people of the camp to see what I see when I look at you. But…” A huff of disgust escaped him. “But in my drive to do so, I trampled all over you. Without asking how you felt about it, or giving you any say in the matter, I took away your right to choose and I stripped you bare in front of them. Yet I’ve been keeping secrets from these same people for years, secrets that also affect the safety and well-being of the camp, secrets they deserve and need to know because I’m not who they think I 136

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am, and my real identity puts them in danger. Yet I hold my secrets with a death grip. I blatantly exposed you, yet I don’t have the courage to expose myself.” He heard the grass and herb stuffed mattress creak and turned to see Gaige sit up. “That’s why you shut me out?” Gaige asked. “Because you didn’t want me to see…what? That you have foibles and fears just like everyone else?” Again Gaige had managed to delve right to the heart of the matter. The unvarnished truth of his words tore at Keiran’s barely-held-together pride. “Keiran, Byram already knows who you are, so the need for secrecy is over. Why are you afraid to tell your people the truth? You’re already their leader. They already look up to you, trust you. Do you think I or anyone else expects you to be faultless? To be a paragon of perfection?” “If I tell them the truth…yes,” he said, once again having trouble speaking around the tight lump in his throat. “I would have to be.” “Why? Help me to understand here, because I’m not following you.” “Damn it, Gaige…” “Tell me. You owe me that much honesty. Tell me what you’re scared of.” “I’m fucking scared I can’t be the leader I’ve been told all my life I’m supposed to be!” he snapped, his voice louder than he’d meant. But his veins surged with so much pent-up emotion he could hardly think straight. He knew it wasn’t 137

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Gaige’s fault, that he shouldn’t raise his voice to him of all people, yet he couldn’t rein it in. “I don’t know if can measure up to the draegan lords of old. I’ve tried to do right by these people, but it’s one thing when they come to me, looking to me to lead the way as a rebel, a freedom fighter. It’s something else all together to don the mantle of draegan lord.” His voice cracked. “The draegan lords are expected to rule with complete confidence, know all the answers, protect without fail. They are expected to be without fault, in all things.” He closed his eyes, breathing hard, trying to regain control of himself. “Keiran…” The warm, callused touch of Gaige’s hands slid around his waist from behind, then curved up until one anchored around his chest and the other rested flat against his abdomen. He hadn’t heard Gaige get out of bed, but the heat from Gaige’s hard, nude body pressed in behind him. And in spite of the hurt frustration he knew his mate still felt toward him, he offered strength and comfort Keiran wanted to accept in the worst way, yet didn’t feel worthy of. “You’re too hard on yourself. ” “I have to be. Our entire race almost perished on my mother’s watch. I know it wasn’t her fault. I know Byram hit hard and fast and no one expected it or could have been prepared for it. But I can’t let the same thing happen on mine. I have to do better. I didn’t ask to be a leader, but if I can’t make the tough calls, then how can I possibly expect anyone 138

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to trust me to protect them?” “I’m going to tell you the same thing you told me at Kellesborne days ago,” Gaige said. “You don’t have to do this alone. Don’t shut me out.” It wasn’t until then Keiran realized his mental fists still tightly clutched at the wall he’d erected, holding it up with a death grip. Gaige’s breath felt warm and reassuring against his ear. “Please…let me in, beloved,” he whispered. Hot moisture stung the backs of Keiran’s eyelids. “It’s too much,” he rasped, his throat tight and aching. “After everything you’ve been through, you shouldn’t have to deal with my crap also.” “There’s no part of you I don’t want, Keiran. You’ve known the very worst of me, seen what I’ve been, what I’ve done, and yet you still want me. Do you think it’s any different for me?” He sighed. “I don’t need you to protect me, though I think I understand why you feel compelled to do so. I just need you to be open. Don’t hold back from me. Let me support you and be your mate in all things.” Keiran’s entire body thrummed with the need to let go, to share, to lean. He tipped his head back and rested it against Gaige’s shoulder, felt the gentle brush of lips against his temple in welcome. Gaige had shaved as well, and the smooth heat of his cheek, and his warm, clean scent stirred a deep longing in Keiran. “Please. For this to work, for us to work, we can’t shut each other out.” 139

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With a shuddered breath, Keiran gave in and let the wall slip. Gaige’s arms tightened around him and he heard him draw in and release several deep, ragged breaths. “I’m sorry,” Keiran murmured. “I told you it was too much.” “No…it’s not too much. It feels…” He breathed deeply again, then sighed in what almost sounded like relief. “It feels right. I was so damned empty without you today.” Keiran had been empty, too, though he hadn’t realized it until now, with Gaige’s love and all his mate’s hundred other myriad emotions and thoughts filling him, swirling with his own to create one whole. ::I’m so sorry I made you doubt how much I care about you. It was the last thing I meant to do.:: ::I’m sorry, too.:: Gaige’s voice was a welcome invasion in Keiran’s head. ::I shouldn’t have been so quick to doubt. I just didn’t understand, and when I couldn’t get near you I felt betrayed.:: Keiran’s stomach gave a sick lurch at the reminder of just how much damage he’d caused. ::Don’t.:: ::Don’t what?:: ::I can feel you beating yourself up over it. Don’t do it. Gods know I’m guilty of making less than stellar decisions, too. Before Byram captured me, I almost left you, remember? Because I had a twisted idea it would protect you. And I know when you found out that had been my intention, it hurt you. 140

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I’m not used to caring about anybody, or to having anyone care for me. I’m not used to sharing my life with someone. So I don’t really know the rules.:: ::Neither do I,:: Keiran admitted. ::I feel like I should, I wish I did, but I don’t.:: Gaige grasped his shoulders and turned him around, then slid his hands into Keiran’s hair, pulled his face close, and kissed him. He tasted like spiced wine, dark, warm solace, and potent masculinity—a powerful combination. As Keiran lifted his own hands to trace the hard planes of muscle and warm flesh that were his lover’s back, he realized what a true fool he’d been. This man filled him with a strength he’d never had on his own. When they’d first joined, and Gaige’s thoughts and feelings had begun to merge with his, he’d relished it. And today, when he’d realized Gaige could also now share the telepathic speech with him, he’d been both proud and fulfilled. But after the confrontation with Jax, as the guilt had torn through him over what he’d done, the intimate connection had suddenly made him feel exposed and the closeness had terrified him. It had been one thing to share his love, pleasure, and even worries with his mate, but when his own actions had hurt his mate—worse, had hurt Gaige in the name of trying to protect him—and he hadn’t been able to stem the flood of guilt over it, he hadn’t wanted Gaige to see him in that light, hadn’t wanted him to see who he was at the core. And so, in a moment of panic, he’d shut him out. 141

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::I know finding me that way in Byram’s dungeon was hard on you, Keiran. I think in some ways maybe even harder for you than for me.:: ::No. No! You were the one who suffered at his hands, m’aerlas. My own feelings are nothing compared to that.:: “I don’t agree,” Gaige said aloud, gazing into Keiran’s face with a seriousness that returned the lump to Keiran’s throat. “I think you suffered, too. I think maybe there’s a part of you that blames yourself for not getting there sooner or somehow being able to prevent me from being captured in the first place, and down deep inside, it eats at you. And that’s why you work so hard to protect me now,” he said with a wisdom belying his years. Keiran scrubbed his palms over his stinging eyes and tried to breathe past the gods-awful pressure in his chest. Damn it all, the man’s insight was so brutally accurate he felt like he’d been turned inside out, exposing his every naked vulnerability. Gaige’s warm hand on his face and the soft press of his lips only made it worse. “It wasn’t your fault.” “I should have found you sooner.” “No. I made the decision to go back to Thrythgar. I drugged you, for gods’ sakes, so you couldn’t stop me or follow me. Remember? And once I was there, Byram was and is solely responsible for what happened. You had no control over it.” “I don’t want to lose you,” Keiran whispered. “I don’t want you to be hurt again.” “I know,” he said softly, grazing his fingertips along 142

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Keiran’s jaw. “And I appreciate your need to protect me from any other harm—physical or verbal—more than you could know. Believe me, I do. But, Keiran, we have a fight on our hands. Byram’s going to be breathing down our necks sooner than I think any of us wants to accept, and we’re going to need to face him with all our faculties intact, without distraction. Which means you can’t be worrying every second about what’s happening to me because losing your focus will only end up getting you killed.” Keiran grimaced, recognizing the truth in what Gaige said. “You have to let me stand on my own feet. But at the same time, even though it probably sounds like a contradiction, we’re stronger when we’re connected. When we’re linked like we are right now, we have advantages Byram can’t understand. And we’re going to need those advantages.” “So you’re saying I need to back off and not coddle you, but also not shut you out anymore.” “Yeah. As much as I love you for wanting to protect me, that’s what I’m saying.” Keiran dragged in a breath and nodded. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I hear you.” “Good. It’s important. Because just like you don’t want anything to happen to me, I just as fiercely don’t want anything to happen to you either.” Gaige kissed him again. And Keiran kissed back, needing him to know how damn much he cared, how damned sorry he was for everything. When their lips separated, they continued to stand in the 143

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embrace, their foreheads pressed together, savoring the quiet moment of communion. Keiran sensed questions flitting through Gaige’s mind, even though a sense of calm prevailed around them. “What’s on your mind, love?” “Something you said…” “What’s that?” “Your mother was the draegan lord? I guess I just assumed it was your father.” “Yes, my mother was. Her name was Eirene, and my father, Markus, was her true mate. They were both killed in Ilyrie. Some of the very first ones to die in Byram’s initial strike.” “I’m sorry.” “Me, too.” Gaige frowned. “If your father’s name was Markus and he was killed all that time ago, then who was Hareld? When I came here, I was told Hareld was your father and that he’d died about thirty years ago. And your name is Hareldson— Hareld’s son.” Keiran sighed. “And so we come to the crux of the twisted web that’s been woven, and in which I’ve had to live all these years.” At Gaige’s raised eyebrows, he continued. “Hareld and Iann were members of my mother’s draeganjhere. Their job was to protect all of us…her, my father, myself. When Byram’s troops stormed into the dwelling where we stayed that night and slaughtered my mother and father in their bed 144

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before they could shift into winged form, Hareld and Iann grabbed me from my pallet, took me through a trapdoor in the ground, and escaped with me through a tunnel that came out into the forest. Another draegan child…” He grimaced at the memory. “A boy about my own age, who’d died in the attack, was left in my place.” “So Byram thought he’d killed you all.” “Yeah. We hid for a long time, then for years after that we moved around a lot, never staying in one place longer than a few days or weeks, always pretending we were human. Hareld raised me as his son to allay suspicion, but he and Iann were my protectors, keeping me safe, training me, so one day, when I was older and the timing was right, I could step into the role of leader since I was the only remaining draegan with ‘lord’ blood. Hareld was killed in an attack in a human village some years ago—he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, trading for supplies, when a detachment of Byram’s troops came through and did a general slash and burn of the town.” “Which is when the draegans began to look to you to make decisions?” “More or less. We’d been living with a small group of draegans at that time, of which Jax and Marta and her mate were also a part. Hareld was sort of loosely in charge, though there wasn’t a true leader. The others, except Iann, of course, all thought I was a young man when Hareld died because that’s what we’d led them to believe…all part of protecting my true identity so Byram wouldn’t find out I existed. “The group grew as Marta and her mate Dane had 145

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children, and others found us and decided they preferred the safety of a group to living on their own. Then a few years ago, after a particularly hard winter, Iann and I came up with the idea to start raiding Byram’s food stores. Marta, Dane and Jax agreed. And so we did, picking small targets at first…just enough to get extra food. But as other draegans and then humans found out what we were doing, they joined us.” “And now you have over a hundred souls in the camp, with all of them looking to you keep them safe and fed.” “Pretty much. Like I said, I didn’t ask for this role. It just happened.” Gaige shook his head. “It didn’t just happen, Keiran. You’re a natural leader. People are drawn to you because you radiate strength and confidence and genuine caring. All the same things that attracted me to you when I came here. Your people don’t follow you because they have to. They follow you because they choose to. Because they trust you. Because you have all the qualities a good leader needs to possess. All the qualities”—he gave Keiran a pointed look—“of a draegan lord.” “I don’t know…” “I do.” Gaige’s breath whispered across his lips as he captured them in a kiss. As one kiss led to another and another, each growing deeper, seeking more, need stirred between them, a live thing that coiled around them, causing hands to wander and cocks to rise. Gaige sank onto the bed, pulling Keiran with him, then 146

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rolled him onto his back and slid between his legs. “Yes,” Keiran breathed in invitation, spreading his legs wider. When Gaige leaned into him and licked over his nipples, Keiran buried his hands in his lover’s silken hair and gave himself up to Gaige’s loving. Gaige drew each peak, in turn, into his mouth, sucking, then biting down until the nubs were swollen and aching, and Keiran’s cock grew hard as granite, as if a direct link connected it to his nipples and what happened to them, happened to it. His hips surged up off the bed, seeking more contact, but Gaige held himself just far enough away Keiran couldn’t quite reach him with the stiff and painful part he wanted. “Gaige…please.” Gaige responded by giving one last bite to each nipple before his mouth moved downward in a warm, damp trek to Keiran’s abdomen. As his callused, yet gentle hands stroked Keiran’s chest, then slid down his sides to his hips in an achingly tender and possessive motion, he licked over and into his navel with slow thrusts that mimicked what Keiran suddenly, desperately wanted Gaige to be doing elsewhere. ::Tell me what you want, babe.:: ::You already know. I need you.:: Gaige dipped a finger into Keiran’s wet navel, gave it a slow, erotic swirl and then, as his tongue took its place, the slick heat of that same wet finger delved into the cleft in Keiran’s ass. 147

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He hissed and raised his knees, giving his mate easier access, wanting that finger in the worst way. He felt Gaige’s smile in his mind. ::You want this?:: he asked, flicking just the tip of his digit over Keiran’s opening before drawing it away. ::Gods…don’t tease. Please…:: Gaige’s finger returned to the indentation in his abdomen, swirled again, then, in a sweet motion that almost made Keiran’s eyes roll back in his head, it slid into his ass. He bucked in response, pushing down onto it, needing to get it as deep as possible. Gaige twisted it inside him, then curved it up and brushed it over Keiran’s pleasure gland. Lightning seared through him, heating his blood, thickening his cock until it was so full he thought it might explode. Another finger pressed in to join the first and, as Gaige moved them both within him, stretching and stroking, Keiran realized Gaige no longer tongued his navel, but watched him instead. In the glow from the firelight he could just make out his features, see the intensity of the love and lust in his eyes. For reasons he couldn’t comprehend, having Gaige look at him as he writhed under the man’s intimate attentions only turned Keiran on more, made him harder. ::You are an incredible, sexy, beautiful man, do you know that?:: Gaige’s thoughts were a sultry rumble that stirred Keiran’s passion further. :: And watching you like this has me so hard I’m already leaking. See?:: He rose to his knees between Keiran’s legs and wrapped a hand around his long, 148

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jutting shaft, giving it several pumps that made Keiran’s mouth water. “I want that,” Keiran whispered. “This?” His hand continued to stroke his cock, even as his fingers continued their plunder of Keiran’s hole. “Yes.” Gaige pulled his fingers out, leaving Keiran empty and horny and wanting. But then Gaige held out a hand, and when Keiran grasped it, Gaige pulled him up to a sitting position. “Then get me wet,” he said, holding his cock with one hand, and the back of Keiran’s head with the other. Keiran leaned toward it in hungry anticipation, lapping up the warm beads of cream that oozed from the slit, savoring the salty flavor on his tongue, before licking over the smooth, mushroom-shaped crown. He curled the fingers of his left hand around Gaige’s lean hip, and with his right, gripped the base of Gaige’s shaft and squeezed, drawing a sensual groan from his lover. He stroked the sleek skin up and down several times, admiring the way it moved over the turgid flesh, showing every vein and accentuating the thick, ruby crown as he pulled back and it tightened, then seductively enveloped them on the upstroke. The watching made him hungry for more. He opened his mouth and guided his lover’s cockhead between his lips. Gaige’s stuttered breathing told Keiran his mate was hungry for more, too. Knowing he had Gaige in a vulnerable position, and loving the way his mate’s fingers burrowed into his hair, pulling him closer and forcing his cock deeper into 149

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Keiran’s throat, filled Keiran with a sense of power. He licked and stroked the beautiful prick until it was slick and pulsing, then worked it in and out of his mouth in quick motions, sucking the ample head on each outstroke, then swallowing the full length again. Gaige’s fingers tightened in his hair and his entire body trembled. “Damn…damn, Keiran…you’re so fucking good at this.” Keiran smiled around the thick length, continuing the sensual torment. But then Gaige took back control, pulling free of Keiran’s mouth and pressing him onto the bed with a fiery glint in his eyes. He pushed Keiran’s knees back and leaned down to capture his mouth in a burning, libidinous kiss. “I have to fuck you now,” he said, his breath hot on Keiran’s lips. Keiran felt the broad, wet tip of Gaige’s prick bearing down against his clenching hole. “Please.” With a hiss of raw pleasure, Gaige pushed, and his wet cock sank into Keiran’s ass all the way to the balls. “Gods, I love being a part of you,” Gaige rasped, closing his eyes and tipping his head back. Keiran skimmed his hands up over Gaige’s sleek, muscular arms to wrap his fingers around his lover’s biceps. He never felt more complete than he did when they were joined like this, one inside the other. The pulse in Gaige’s shaft thrummed against the walls of his passage. When he finally moved, Gaige’s motions were slow and took him deep inside Keiran, filling him so full Keiran ached 150

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at the beauty of it. “Kiss me,” he said. Gaige lowered himself until their bodies pressed together and Keiran’s cock nestled between the heat of their abdomens. Gaige’s mouth, warm and eager, found Keiran’s and the kiss melded into yet another extension of their lovemaking, mirrored the give and take, the thrust and retreat of their bodies. Keiran curled an arm around his lover’s back, pulling him closer, and with his other hand, clasped one cheek of Gaige’s flexing ass. ::I love you.:: Gaige’s voice in his head was thick with emotion and desire. ::I can’t live without you, Keiran.:: ::I can’t live without you either. Ever. You’re my life.:: Gaige pressed his face against Keiran’s neck as his cock surged into Keiran again and again. ::No more secrets. No more distance. Just us, just this, together..:: ::Yes.:: ::Promise me.:: ::I promise.:: ::Say it again.:: ::I promise, no more secrets. No more overprotective smothering. And no more shutting you out.:: Gritty heat burned Keiran’s eyes, and his heart swelled with so much love for this man he almost couldn’t breathe. ::Everything I am, the good and the bad, is yours. I swear.:: They moved together in a fervent rhythm that drove Gaige’s cockhead against Keiran’s prostate on each stroke, sending jolts of heat to his shaft and balls pinned between their moving bodies. In spite of the chilly air, their skin burned hot. 151

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The scent of male musk and clean sage soap blended into a drugging aroma that heightened all Keiran’s senses. Clinging together, their cries of “oh, gods, yes!” and “deeper” and “now, please, now” merged in the damp autumn night as they climbed to the pinnacle…and soared over it. After the last shudders had wracked through them, Gaige lifted his head and kissed him, then stroked the damp hair back off Keiran’s face. ::I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I hated it today.:: A twinge of guilt tightened Keiran’s stomach, but he didn’t try to hide it from Gaige. ::So did I. I am sorry.:: ::Me, too. It wasn’t all your fault.:: He nuzzled Keiran’s lips again and twitched his hips just enough to remind Keiran he was still full of his lover’s rod. ::I think we both have to admit, though, that this is much better.:: Keiran’s lips curved into a tired smile, and he felt Gaige’s do the same. Gaige made no move to pull out, which was fine with Keiran. He had no desire to be separated from the man. It had been a long day with too much space between them. “Are you planning to stay where you are?” he asked, hopeful. “I’m thinking about it. I like the idea of falling asleep while I’m inside you.” “I like it, too.” “That doesn’t mean I’m letting you off the hook, though. If we go to sleep, I mean. I have questions. Lots of them.” “I’ll tell you any and everything you want to know,” Keiran promised. “Now, later, whenever you want.” 152

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Gaige rolled to his side, pulling Keiran with him onto his side, and Keiran draped a leg over his lover’s hips, keeping them anchored together. Sometimes there were real advantages to having a draegan’s virility, and Gaige had it in spades. His shaft, even now, was still partially firm, making it easy to continue holding him inside. Gaige flipped a blanket up over them. “I have a confession to make,” he said as they snuggled together. “What’s that?” “Before you, I’d never slept with a lover all night.” Keiran’s heart squeezed. “I have a confession to make, too. I’m a bit older than you are, and before you, I’d never slept with anyone all night either.” Gaige’s breathing came hard and fast, and his shock rippled through Keiran in steady pulses. He knew, even without delving in his lover’s thoughts, that he was thinking of Jax. “You hadn’t?” “No. Only you.” “How much?” Keiran’s brows drew together as he tried to follow his lover’s train of thought. “How much?” “You said you’re a bit older than I am. How much older?” He drew in a deep breath. “I’m one hundred and eight.” To his credit, Gaige didn’t seem surprised by it. He’d probably already done the math and guessed in the general vicinity. “Does it bother you? That I’m so much older?” Gaige played with a strand of Keiran’s hair, twirling it 153

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between his fingers. “When you told me this morning that you’d been around since Byram first attacked the draegans, I admit, I was shaken by it. But I’ve had all day to wrap my mind around it, and, no, it doesn’t bother me as far as us being together. It is a bit intimidating, though, in terms of the fact you actually remember what things were like in Velensperia before Byram. For me, it’s all stories. For you, it was life.” “When you say it that way, it makes me feel old.” “I don’t mean it that way.” Keiran smiled and pulled him into a kiss. “I know what you mean. It’s okay. But you know what I really hope?” “What?” “I hope one day soon you’ll know what life without Byram is like, too.”

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CHAPTER 9

Gaige awoke to a soft, shifting movement nearby. Stretched out on his stomach, he was so comfortable he couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes just yet. But when he heard a low sound—a thunk —they fluttered open of their own accord. The sight that greeted him made him wish he’d opened them sooner. In the pale gray light of early morning seeping through the tent walls, he took advantage of the moment to feast himself on the vision of his lover. Keiran, naked and magnificent, crouched by the fire in the next room of the tent, his back to Gaige. The broad strength of 155

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his shoulders stretched and tightened as he reached to pick up several pieces of wood, then arrange them in the fire pit. His dark hair, a bit longer than when Gaige had first met him, hung loose, falling just below his shoulder blades in thick waves. When he had a fire going, he stood, giving Gaige a full view of his sexy backside, with his shoulders tapering down to a narrow waist, slim hips, an ass to lust after, and muscular legs covered in a dusting of dark hair Gaige knew from intimate experience was both soft and wiry, much like the curls on his chest and at his groin that Gaige found enormously arousing. With his legs slightly spread, Gaige even had a view of Keiran’s heavy scrotum hanging between them. Good gods almighty. Gaige found himself growing hard. Again. It felt as if he spent most of his time in this state these days. Memories of the night before rippled through him. Rippled straight to his cock, to be more precise. But along with the erotic remembrances came memories of the other events of yesterday, and a tight pull dragged at his chest. He understood now, and had forgiven Keiran for shutting him out, but he still remembered all too well how awful it had felt. How the aching void inside him had almost swallowed him whole. It wasn’t an experience he wanted to go through ever again. Pushing the haunting thoughts into a remote corner of his head, he let his mind wander to all the many questions he still 156

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had that Keiran had promised he’d answer. The sight of Keiran returning to the bedroom, however, one hand juggling two steaming mugs by their handles, the other holding a wooden box, fast returned his thoughts to baser fare. He rolled onto his side and, propping one elbow up, rested his head on his hand and stared in rapt admiration at his lover’s groin. “You certainly woke up”—he grinned— “aroused this morning,” he said. Keiran set down the items he’d been carrying on the low table next to the bed and returned Gaige’s grin. “Says the man who slept with his perpetually hard cock inside me all night.” “I only woke you up once,” he reminded him, sitting up to take one of the heavy mugs Keiran handed him. “And if memory serves, the noises you made when I did were all pleasure with no complaint.” Holding the second mug, Keiran sat crossed-legged on the bed next to him and, wrapping a hand behind his head, dragged Gaige into a blistering kiss that warmed the chilly morning better than the fire popping and crackling several feet away. When they came up for air, their gazes held for several moments, and an incredible flood of love and peace filled Gaige. It seemed like from the moment they’d first made love in the cave, with Byram’s men nearby, they’d been swept along in a violent tempest that had tossed them from one intense moment to the next, forcing them to fight for their lives, their love, sometimes their sanity, and even for a few hours of sleep. 157

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But right now, with the quiet of early morning surrounding them, the sweet, spicy scent of the herb tea Keiran had made wafting into the crisp air, and a new and intimate harmony resonating between them, Gaige wondered if this was the bliss he’d heard spoken of in tales and songs of romance and happily-ever-after. Certainly nothing of the sort was told or sung about at Byram’s stronghold, where anything but accounts of the high sorcerer’s glory were forbidden. But in the villages and towns he’d traveled through over the years, he’d listened to the storytellers and minstrels in secret and been enthralled. “Who would ever have believed the captain of Byram’s High Guard was a romantic at heart?” Keiran said softly, his eyes glistening like silver stars. Gaige knew he probably should be discomfited at having been found out, yet he wasn’t. Keiran dipping into his thoughts had become an almost comforting occurrence, and after yesterday’s silence, he’d much rather have his mate discover his little quirks than try to keep them walled up and create any barriers between them. “Just don’t pass it around,” he said, with a smile. “It wouldn’t do at all to have my reputation as a hardened soldier sullied.” Keiran brushed his lips again. “Your secret’s safe with me. I promise.” They drank the hot brew in comfortable silence, and as they did, Gaige realized he wasn’t the only one in a mellow mood. Keiran looked calmer and more at peace than he’d seen 158

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him in days. “You’re in a good mood this morning,” he commented. A half-smile curved Keiran’s sensual lips. “It’s time.” “Time?” Then it hit him and a surge of pride filled him. “You’re going to tell them?” He nodded. “It’s time for me to quit hiding and wallowing in my fear. Our people need a proper leader, and it’s only going to become more important as the days go by. We’re going to have to try to track down as many of the small groups of draegans as we can before Byram gets to them, and bring them here if they’re willing to come. We all stand a better chance that way, if we’re united on one front.” “I agree.” “I’m going to need your help.” “Anything. Just tell me what I can do.” Keiran took another swallow of his tea, then cradled the mug between his hands. Capable, strong hands, Gaige thought, as he studied them. Capable of both tenderness, as he well knew, and the power necessary to rule a race. “I need somebody to take these farmers and hunters and make them into soldiers who can fight to protect themselves and their families.” Gaige lifted his gaze to meet his mate’s, understanding coursing through him. “And you want me to be that somebody?” “The members of the draeganjhere are all decent archers and know their way around weapons in general. But everyone else in camp is a civilian. We don’t have enough draeganjhere 159

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to go around to protect them all, especially if we’re bringing other draegans here from outlying areas. You’re my best fighter. You’re an experienced soldier. You trained men to serve in the High Guard.” His dark brows pulled together into a frown. “I’m not going to lie to you, though. With as many inexperienced people as we have, I don’t think it’s going to be an easy task. But there’s no one I trust more than you. If anyone can do it, you can. Are you willing?” Gaige stared into the calm, steady depths of Keiran’s eyes and knew he couldn’t refuse him. He’d lived and worked in the camp long enough to agree it might very well be a thankless job. But if Keiran believed in him to get it done, he would. “Okay.” Keiran looked pleased and more than a little relieved. “Thank you.” “There’s just one thing that concerns me,” Gaige said, knowing he might as well say it because even if he didn’t, Keiran would read it any way. “What, love?” “Without getting into another heavy discussion about my past and my father’s sins not being mine and such…the reality is that as much as I know you want the people of the camp to accept me and trust me, every time they look at me, it’s going to be hard for them not to see the White Panther. Or worse, my father. How are they going to feel learning weaponry and strategy from a man who looks just like the general who killed their friends and families?” He shook his head. “Even I look at myself and see him.” 160

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Lines of sympathy creased Keiran’s forehead. “It’s not like there’s a way around it,” Gaige said before Keiran could respond. “I wasn’t expecting a solution. I just wanted you to be aware there may be some who might have issues.” “There might be,” Keiran acknowledged with a sigh. “We just have to hope time and trust will win them over.” But then a light sparked behind his eyes and he stared at Gaige as if he’d just had an epiphany. “Although…I think I may have an idea that will help.” “What’s that?” “Scoot closer and turn around.” Gaige eyed him askance. Keiran smiled, spread his legs apart, and raised his knees, then patted the bed in front of him in invitation. Heat shot through Gaige as he ogled the enticing package between those muscular thighs. Keiran’s low, sexy laughter only heightened his desire. “Not for that. At least not right now. I want you to come sit between my legs with your back to me.” Not sure whether to be intrigued or disappointed, Gaige pushed off the covers and slid over until he was cradled between the heat of Keiran’s legs. It helped nothing that Keiran’s thick shaft poked his backside or that his own bobbed hard and eager against his thigh. “What are you up to?” he asked, looking at Keiran over his shoulder. “I told you…I have an idea. Now turn around and be still. Let me work my magick.” 161

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That brought a smile to Gaige’s lips. “Would that be literal magick or figurative magick?” Keiran’s rich chuckle sent another ripple of heat through Gaige. “Shhh…let me concentrate.” Keiran swept Gaige’s hair aside and kissed the back of his neck. The spot where his lips touched tingled, and Gaige wondered if maybe the draegan had a bit of magick in his kiss. The last thing Gaige had expected to feel next was the gentle drag of a wooden comb through his hair, although the moment he did, he decided a kiss wasn’t the only magick Keiran had to offer. With each stroke of the comb, he grew more and more relaxed. The ache in his groin continued to thrum, but it felt as if his body were slowly turning to a strand of kenta grass, bending and swaying in a warm summer breeze. He closed his eyes and gave himself over to it. Long minutes passed. He wasn’t sure when the combing ended and Keiran’s gentle fingers took their place, tugging and toying at the long strands, but feeling his lover’s fingertips brush his skin was even better. It was intimate in a way he’d never thought such a thing could be. “There,” Keiran finally said, his voice soft, his breath warm against Gaige’s ear. “No one will confuse you with your father now, or doubt the heritage left you by your mother.” Gaige’s eyes fluttered open. His body buzzed with a tingling awareness and a slow, pulsing pleasure. “Why’s that?” “Feel.” Uncertain, Gaige lifted a hand to his hair. Though it still 162

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hung long and loose, the top layer had been worked into numerous thin braids, each bound at the end with a tiny, tied piece of leather. “What is this?” he asked, another smile creeping onto his face. “Braiding is a draegan tradition. There was a time when all draegans braided their hair. We’ve gotten away from it over the past century, for protective reasons.” “To better blend in with humans?” Gaige guessed. “So Byram and his soldiers can’t spot you as easily?” Which would go along with the fact Jax had always worn his braided…the draegan who did everything possible not to be like the humans. “That’s right. But the time has come for the draegans to take back our birthright in all its many aspects. We’ve hidden long enough. It’s served its purpose, allowed us to regroup. But now it’s time to let Byram know we won’t go quietly.” Gaige turned around on the bed to face Keiran. “Have I told you how damned proud I am of you?” “Have I told you the feeling’s mutual?” He planted a slow, devouring kiss on Gaige. Then his sensuous lips curved in a smile. “Okay, trade places. Now you can do mine.” Keiran moved around on the bed until he sat with his back to Gaige. Gaige picked up the comb from the table, but hesitated. “I’ve never braided anything but rope.” “This works the same way.” “How do you want me to do it?” Keiran had created several thin ones on him over the top layer of his hair. Jax 163

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wore all of his hair braided into half a dozen or so plaits. Marta usually wore hers in one long braid down her back. “It doesn’t matter. Do whatever you’d like—there’s no right or wrong.” Gaige dug in with the comb. Keiran had thick, luxurious hair. The strands shimmered in the morning light, and the clean scent of soap from his bath last night drifted from it each time the comb slid through it, arousing Gaige’s senses. When it was sleek and tangle free, he laid aside the comb and, after several attempts, found his groove and discovered hair was considerably more pleasant than rough rope fiber. And working with Keiran’s hair—the texture of it, the sensual intimacy of feeling it slide between his fingers—was even better still. He plaited two thin braids on each side of Keiran’s face, leaving the bulk of his hair loose. He found several tiny strips of leather lying on the table that Keiran had cut when he’d done Gaige’s and secured his handiwork. Not bad, he decided. Keiran turned to face him and Gaige’s stomach fluttered. Not bad at all. Though not causing a drastic alteration to Keiran’s appearance, something about the braids made him look shockingly sexy, and untamed in a wild, earthy way Gaige had never seen him before. No, that wasn’t true. In his winged form Keiran was untamed, rippling with raw power and potent magick. Looking at him now, Gaige saw a hint of that magnificent creature lurking just below the surface…and it gave him a full-out arousal. 164

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“Holy gods,” he murmured. “You’re sexy as hel like this. I mean…you always are, but now…good gods.” His cock thrummed in appreciation. Keiran’s gaze moved down to Gaige’s hard, twitching shaft, and a flash of white teeth and a knowing glint in his eyes just made Gaige’s body buzz harder. “I’ll share a secret with you…the braiding focuses draegan magick, makes it more intense. Kind of like how I explained to you the words work when doing magick. Have you ever looked closely at all of our belts, or the straps on our quivers and sword scabbards, or even the fringe and decorations on our clothes and blankets?” “All braided,” Gaige recalled. He’d never noticed it before, yet now, in retrospect, it seemed so obvious. “All braided,” Keiran confirmed. Gaige squeezed his fingers around the base of his cock so hard it made him wince, trying to rein in the sudden, potent lust that had hit him, that tore through his body and made him want to shove Keiran back onto the bed and plow into him like a crazed animal. “Yeah, okay,” he said with a barely restrained groan, “but that doesn’t explain why right now it feels like you’re radiating some kind of sexual energy that’s so strong it’s making my skin burn and my balls throb like they’re going to explode.” Keiran grinned. “Probably because we have such a powerful connection between us to start with, and then you were already turned on, so all that longing and sexual intention was focused into the braiding. Magnifying it.” 165

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“Damn. Keiran…” His breaths came out in pained gasps that matched the pounding ache in his testicles. Keiran changed places with him, moving behind Gaige. “Lean back on me,” he directed, once again cradling Gaige between his strong thighs. “What are you going to do?” “What do you think I’m going to do?” Keiran pushed Gaige’s hand away and curved his own fingers around Gaige’s erection, giving it a squeeze that almost brought Gaige off the bed. “I’m going to make you feel good,” Keiran said, his voice a husky caress. If Gaige hadn’t been so supremely horny and desperate for relief, he might have been embarrassed by his fast and fervid response to Keiran’s attention. But when Keiran turned Gaige’s face toward him and covered his mouth with his own, licking hard and deep into it with his tongue, and his hands performed sinful, lascivious acts on Gaige’s cock and balls, he didn’t give a damn about anything except how incredible it felt and how hard he could come. ::That’s it, love. Let go. Give me everything.:: And Gaige did, his body convulsing as he spurted more seed than he ever would have thought possible. It just kept coming and coming and coming until he collapsed, sagging against Keiran’s chest, spent in more ways than one. “You are so fucking sexy,” Keiran growled against his ear, swirling his fingers through the slick cream that coated Gaige’s abdomen, groin, and thighs. “Yeah, well, the next time,” Gaige panted, still breathing 166

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hard, “do me a favor and give me a warning when you’re getting all sex-magicky, so I don’t end up humiliating myself at the wrong time.” Keiran’s low chuckle curled around and through him, luring a grin from Gaige. *

*

*

Keiran held Gaige’s heavy, warm body, savoring this rare opportunity at unhurried intimacy. He and Gaige had had so few of these moments in the time they’d known each other. Marta, Iann, and the others would invade soon enough since this tent was command central. And the conflict with Byram hung like a dark storm over the horizon. But for now, this brief moment in time, he enjoyed it while he could, playing a hand over his lover’s chest, admiring with his touch the smooth heated skin, the flat nubs of his masculine nipples, the swell of his sculpted chest muscles and the way they dropped off to his ribs and the plane of his rippling abdomen. Gaige looked healthier today than he had since before his capture. The cuts and welts over his skin appeared less angry, and his bruises paler. The wound on his shoulder had closed over again and Keiran noticed Gaige was able to use his arm this morning without the pained grimace that had so often crossed his handsome face in days past. “Can I ask you a question?” Gaige asked. “Anything.” “Iann told me last night that those in the blood line of the draegan lords have long lives. Longer than regular draegans.” 167

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“We do. That’s why I’ve been able to pass myself off as younger than I really am.” In contrast to the sexual heat and close comfort they’d been sharing, Keiran felt hesitation and worry rippling off Gaige. “Iann said you could live four hundred years or more.” “It’s possible.” He wondered where this was going and why it was upsetting Gaige so. Last night he’d said—and Keiran had believed him—that their age difference didn’t bother him. Concerned, he asked, “What is it, Gaige?” “I’ve been thinking that with my background…I’m only part draegan, and not lordly draegan at that. And humans don’t live much past eighty or ninety at best. So…” He sucked in a shaky breath. “Unless something happens to one of us in battle or in an accident, you’ll watch me grow old and die while you’ll still be relatively young.” His grief tore at Keiran’s heart. “No, love…you’re imlain’ du draeganlahn.” “What, exactly, is that supposed to mean? You told me it meant the true mate of a draegan. Iann said it means true mate of a draegan lord. In either case, what does it have to do with this?” Keiran sighed. “I wasn’t completely honest with you when you asked me before what it meant because I hadn’t told you yet who I really was. Iann’s right. It does mean true mate of a draegan lord. And it has everything to do with this conversation. Remember I told you you might discover you have abilities you never had before?” Gaige rolled away from him, to his side facing Keiran, his 168

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head propped on a hand. “Because of our joining, yes.” “When draegans are true-mated, the merging of their blood and bodily fluids gives them a connection.” “They can read each other’s thoughts and emotions and communicate with one another.” “Yes and no. Ordinary draegans do develop an ability to sense one another’s thoughts, to share emotions to a certain extent. But they can’t communicate telepathically when they’re in human form.” “But you’ve talked to me that way since after we escaped from Thrythgar. Both when you’ve been in winged and human form. And then yesterday I could talk back.” “I know…” A soft huff of surprise escaped Gaige, and Keiran knew he’d just figured it out. “You mean you can do it, we can do it, because of who you are?” “Yes. But also because of who you are.” “I don’t understand.” “When a draegan lord joins with his or her true mate, the joining itself and the blood-letting create a bond that’s above and beyond an ordinary draegan true-mating. The mate takes on many of the traits and abilities of the lord. That’s part of what’s passed during the physical joining.” “Like what happened again yesterday.” “Yes. The reason it’s so intense is because it’s—” “Some of your power passing to me.” “Exactly.” “I started being able to talk back to you telepathically right 169

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after that happened yesterday.” “I know.” “Okay, so you say the mate takes on some of the traits and abilities of the lord. Meaning what? I’m going to start breathing fire or something?” “Honestly…I’m not sure. You’re part human and I don’t know if a draegan lord has ever mated with…” “A half-breed,” Gaige supplied. Keiran gave a nod of acknowledgment, though he hated the term half-breed. “Ordinarily, the mate would develop the ability to breathe fire, among other things. With you, we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.” “Will I be able to shift? Take winged form eventually?” Keiran heard the hopeful tone in his mate’s voice. “I don’t know, m’aerlas.” “If I can’t, then I’m guessing that pretty much leaves out the fire breathing thing.” Keiran caressed his cheek. “Like I said, we’ll just have to wait and see. I suspect you’re the first of your kind. You’re unique. You may become more draegan-like—draegan-lordlike—in a traditional sense, or your may develop partial abilities. There’s no way to tell.” “How long does this process take?” “Keep in mind there hasn’t been a draegan lord truemating since my parents, and I was just a boy when they died, so I don’t have a lot of direct information. Only bits and pieces Iann and Hareld mentioned in passing over the years, and then, when we were at Kellesborne, while you slept that last 170

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day, I looked through the library and found a few references in books. From what I can tell, it varies, but it usually happens over a period of weeks.” “So, back to my original question, what does this have to do with your long life and my short one?” “It’s likely you’ll live to be much older than you would have otherwise. Being part draegan means you would have outlived your human counterparts by many years anyway. Now…I’d say it’s a safe bet it will be even longer.” Gaige was quiet and seemed lost in thought. Keiran could have reached out to see what was going on in his mind, but chose not to probe. He was learning that most of the time Gaige shared his thoughts with him anyway. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Are you okay with all this?” “I’m not going to deny it’s…a lot. On one hand, it’s kind of terrifying because of the unknown factors. On the other, it’s also exhilarating in a strange sort of way. But, yeah, I’m okay with it.” Even though he’d sensed the answer, a mental sigh of relief swept through Keiran. Gaige’s blue eyes sparkled with mischief. “You might check back with me about that, though, if the whole fire breathing thing starts.” That drew a chuckle from Keiran. He sat up, reached over to the table and picked up the carved delik wooden box he’d brought in earlier, and set it on the bed between them. “I have something to show you. ” 171

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Gaige sat up and studied it. “Is that draega? The words carved on the box?” “It is. I brought this from Kellesborne.” “What’s it say?” Keiran spoke the words aloud in the ancient tongue, watching Gaige as he said them, knowing them by heart. Gaige’s blond brows tugged together. “That’s familiar. I’ve heard it before.” “Yes, you have,” Keiran said, smiling. He reached over and turned Gaige’s right hand palm up, exposing the thin scar that stretched from the fleshy pad below his thumb up and across to just below his pinky, then held out his own hand with the same. A rush of surprise, then bone-melting love shimmered off Gaige and flowed into Keiran, saturating him with what felt like golden sunlight as Gaige remembered. “The words you spoke when we did the blood-letting.” Keiran translated, “ I am yours, beloved. As you are mine. For all of eternity.” He opened the box to reveal two wide bracelets, both a rich blue-silver in color, with numerous strips of smooth metal braided together in an elaborate pattern, and the draegan words of true-mating engraved into the interwoven pieces. “More elorium,” Gaige breathed. Keiran loved the way his mate’s surprise and pleasure brought color to his cheeks and made his eyes shine. “What are these?” “These,” Keiran said, lifting one from its silken fabric nest in the box, “are true mate bracelets. In times past, draegans 172

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who found a true mate would exchange bracelets and wear them to show their devotion to one another.” “Braided, of course,” Gaige said with a hint of humor in his tone. “Of course.” “But something tells me the average draegans didn’t have elorium bracelets.” “No. They were usually silver. Most of the time they were simple, with just three woven strands and perhaps the names of the mates or some lines of love engraved on them. They were worn on the upper arm and could be put on or removed at will.” “And these?” “These were crafted especially for the draegan lords who were lucky enough to find a true mate. Not all of them did. The thing about these bracelets, though, is that unlike the ones worn by other draegans…these are permanent.” He glanced up at Gaige, not certain how his mate would feel about that detail. “Permanent in what way?” “Once you put them on, they can’t be removed.” “But if you can open them to get them on, then you have to be able to take them off, too, right?” He didn’t sound appalled by the idea, which Keiran had feared. Curiosity seemed to be his driving emotion at the moment. Yet there was also an underlying pulse of…what was it? Keiran couldn’t quite read it. “No, once they’re on and fastened, the ancient draegan magick in them binds them and they stay on until…” 173

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“Until the wearers die?” Gaige finished for him. “Until the wearers’ physical bodies die,” Keiran clarified. “But the bond between mates lasts far beyond that. The bracelets were meant to be a symbol of the true mates’ eternal devotion in this lifetime and beyond, showing that they couldn’t be parted. But they’re also meant to be a symbol of the longevity of the draegan race. A symbol that the lord and his or her true mate made a vow to stand by one another for all time and, by association, the draegan people for all time.” Their gazes locked, and Keiran again felt the undercurrent of an emotion in Gaige he couldn’t pinpoint. “Heavy stuff,” Gaige murmured. Keiran nodded. “Too heavy?” He’d brought the bracelets from Kellesborne, not certain how Gaige would react to them. When he’d retrieved them from the secret room in the castle he hadn’t even been sure how he felt about them. He’d had no qualms about the permanence of his relationship with Gaige. That had been cemented during their joining. But choosing to wear the bracelets meant not only a commitment to Gaige, but embracing, with no turning back, his role as draegan lord. The thought had terrified him at the time. He’d brought the bracelets with him anyway because some inner voice had insisted…just in case. In case of what, though, he hadn’t been certain. Then this morning, when he’d awakened, for the first time ever, his path had stretched in front of him with clarity. “You want us to wear these? You want to be bound to me for all time?” Gaige asked, his voice husky. 174

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He wound his fingers through Gaige’s. “We’re already bound to each other and have been from the moment we joined. We don’t need the bracelets for that. We don’t have to wear them if you don’t want to.” “And if I do?” he asked softly. Keiran’s heart stalled in his chest before resuming with a throb. He hadn’t realized until this moment that he hadn’t dared to hope. “Do you?” Gaige picked up the second bracelet and held it in his hand, studying it. When he looked back up at Keiran, in a flash of illumination Keiran finally recognized the emotion in Gaige he hadn’t been able to name before…a deep yearning to belong. Of course. He remembered back to when he’d first taken Gaige to Kellesborne, right after Keiran had discovered his lover was none other than the White Panther. It had taken him hours to get Gaige to finally talk and admit why he hadn’t given up the draegans’ and Keiran’s location to Byram. And one of the things Gaige had told him was that when he was with Keiran and the draegans, for the first time in his life he felt like he belonged. “Yes,” Gaige said. “I want us to wear them.” His still-pounding-heart in his throat, Keiran drew Gaige to him and kissed him. ::Do you know how much I love you?:: ::Yes. Do you know how much I love you?:: Keiran nodded, a lump of emotion burning in his throat. “So…let’s do this,” Gaige said. 175

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“Are you sure?” “I’m sure.” Their hearts raced…Keiran felt them, heard them, as if they were both his own. And then, for no possible reason he could explain, they grinned at one another like two jittery schoolboys who’d just made a daring pact with one another. It cut through the thick layer of nervous strain that had built around them. “How do we go about this?” Gaige asked, turning the bracelet in his hand. “Is there some special something we have to do?” “You put yours on me, and I put mine on you.” “Right or left arm?” “Right. The same side we did the blood-letting.” “Okay.” Then Gaige frowned in concentration. “How do we get them open?” Keiran looked at the one he held. “There’s an indentation inside, by the crease. See it? Press it with your fingernail.” Both the bracelets snapped open at the same time and he and Gaige looked up, startled. “So…together then?” Gaige asked, his voice breathless. “Yeah, let’s do it together.” They each slid the curve of the cool, braided metal around the other’s bicep. “What if…” Gaige started. “What if what?” “What if, let’s say, two people tried to put these on and they weren’t really true mates?” 176

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Gaige’s sudden insecurity tugged at Keiran’s heart. “Then the bracelets wouldn’t fasten. The magick knows when it’s the real thing. But you already know the truth of us…” “I know. I just… sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I have this fear that everything that’s happened between us—our joining, how I feel about you, all of it—is just a dream,” he confessed. “And I’m afraid I’m going to wake up and be back in my bed at Thrythgar, still captain of the High Guard, with an existence I hate looming ahead of me, and all this is going to be gone.” Keiran reached out with his right hand and held Gaige’s in a firm grip. “Feel this? Solid, real flesh. It’s not a dream.” Gaige’s long fingers curled through his. Keiran smiled at him. “You ready?” “I’m ready.” The cuffs snapped closed with quick snicks. As soon as Keiran’s closed, the bracelet curled around his arm like a live entity, conforming to its shape and contours. The metal, which had been cool to the touch, grew warm, integrating with his body temperature. Then a mild tingling sensation in the skin around it sprang to life and, for an odd beat of time, it almost felt as if the bracelet were attaching itself to him. The whole process took just a matter of moments, and although he was aware of the bracelet’s weight on his arm, and seeing it in place caused an emotional tremor low in his belly, it felt strangely right. “Okay, that was…odd,” Gaige said, still staring as his. “Did yours feel like it was…” 177

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“Becoming a part of me?” Keiran finished for him. Scary how they were doing that more and more, finishing