Love’s Redemption
Love’s Redemption by Tami VanGurp
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Love’s Redemption
Dedication Special Thanks goes out to my family for believing in me…love you guys!
Author’s Note: I’d like to thank my readers for taking the time to read Chad and Stacy’s story. Their story was a pleasure to write because it tapped into some of the real life stories of so many out there.** Please enjoy them as much as I did P.S.- Feel free to write me at
[email protected]. I would love to hear from you!! **Disclaimer: Names, characters, and incidents depicted in this book are products of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. No part of this story may be reproduced in any form or by any means, without permission in writing from the author. Copyright 2011
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Love’s Redemption
Contents: The Lost The Found The Redeemed
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Love’s Redemption
The Lost Major Chad Jensen sat in complete silence as he struggled to block out the chaos around him as he and his team made their way back to camp. He briefly wondered if he’d ever feel clean again as he grimaced at the smell of blood and sweat that filled the small confines of the humvee he rode in. The last jaunt into enemy territory had been especially bloody and even though he and his team had gotten out without any life threatening injuries, an innocent had had to pay the price for it to happen. Chad would never forget the face of the boy who stood in the way of the convoy with a bomb strapped to his small body accompanied by a look of pure terror as he realized he was to be sacrificed in the name of a cause his young mind didn’t fully understand. Chad had felt both grieve and rage when the convoy had quickly changed course and he’d watched helplessly as the bomb had detonated in the distance they’d hastily managed to put between them. His mind couldn’t help but fill in the gruesome details as they continued on back. When he saw the camp come up on the horizon, he held on long enough to make it to his private quarters before sitting there on his neatly made up bunk to drop his head in his hands as the horror of the day threatened to smother him. Every man here had been pushed to the absolute limit with the insurgents they’d faced the last few months, but this last one had been the worst. He couldn’t help but thank God he was finally going home tomorrow.
Chad felt a world away from the hell he’d just left as he sat looking out the window of the Boeing 747 waiting for takeoff. The episode yesterday had taken him right back to the worst day of his life; the event of losing his best friend Terry a year ago. The details of that day still made his gut churn with sickness at the very thought. He had never in a million years thought when he signed up to serve his country that he would witness such brutality. He shook his head and felt sorry for the naivety of his own youth. He had joined the Marines at twenty-two right after receiving his bachelor’s degree in business to serve his country like all Jensen men had before him. The fact that it had been war time had made his mother extremely nervous and concerned, but his father had been there to 4
Love’s Redemption smooth over any objections that had been raised. He remembered seeing the pride on his father Jim’s face as they’d embraced and feeling his own heart swell with emotion. The tears his mother Sarah had tried to blink back had tempered his excitement as she made him promise to come back home safely. His younger brothers Dale and Adam promised to take care of their parents and the ranch they’d all called home since they’d been born until he came home. He’d left that day planning on making a difference by fighting in the Marines for his country against the war of terror and coming back a better man for it. He’d been on a plane much like the one he sat on now heading to Camp Pendleton in California for boot camp. He silently chuckled as he remembered his first week there and how he had made friends with Terrance Mitchell. Chad was white country boy coming from a well established ranching family in the state of Colorado, while Terry was a black inner city kid that had come over from Arizona, but despite having come from two different backgrounds they’d quickly become what Terry had jokingly called ‘brothers from another mother’ to everyone in the barracks. He freely admitted that Terry was the one who had gotten him through basic training those three months where it felt like he was about to drop from exhaustion due to the strenuous drills and the added duty of being on fire watch during the last month they were there. By the time they had graduated from basic, they’d thought they were indestructible. How wrong they were wouldn’t be found out until much later. After two tours into Iraq, they had seen things to test the sanity of the strongest in their ranks and had made it through. Or so he thought. Even as hardened as he now was, certain things would instantly take him back to that fateful day. The memory always had the ability to bring a cold horror to the pit of his stomach. At the end of their last tour together, their unit had been attacked on the outskirts of camp the day before they had been due to return back home. He remembered the sounds of the explosions were deafening as they ripped through the camp that night. Everyone had scattered randomly returning fire to the unseen threat and they had fought with no sleep on and off all through the night trying to eliminate the insurgents attacking them. By the time dawn had broken over the desert horizon, some order had slowly been returned back to the camp by the backup of another team coming to their rescue. Chad been so busy giving orders to bring the chaos under control early on in the fight that he hadn’t noticed that Terrence had broken away earlier in the fight. As he walked through the camp trying to assess the damage to their defenses, he noticed a large group of soldiers standing near the side of the armory. In hindsight, he should have known by the eerie silence that something was terribly wrong, but never once had he expected to see the sight that greeted him when he marched over to investigate. The silent group of soldiers standing around in a loose circle didn’t even bother to meet his eyes as he parted his way through and got his first glimpse of the mangled remains of Terry’s body. The shock of it had ricocheted through him like a bullet in a hollow shell. Terry had been larger than life in both personality and physic, but to see him 5
Love’s Redemption become one of the many senseless casualties of war had left Chad standing there in silent disbelief along with the rest of his unit. When the remains of Terry’s body were sent home for burial, he had been the one to go into Terry’s bunk to gather his personal affects. He’d sat there for the longest time fighting an overwhelming sense of grief and loss. He felt like he’d lost one of his brothers that day. It was while he sat there that someone had come in and put an envelope next to him. Normally when mail came, everyone was happy to see it, but as Chad looked upon the letter addressed to Terry from his sister Stacy, happy was the last thing he felt. Terry was always talking about his sister Stacy and how proud he was of her becoming a teacher like their mother was before she’d passed away. Neither he nor Stacy had had any contact with their estranged father and Terry never seemed bothered by the fact. He would say that it was fine by him that the bastard stayed put where he was and that they were better off without him. When their mother had died, Terry had become both brother and parent to his sister Stacy and joining the marines had been his way of providing more of a stable environment for them both. During their time in the Middle East, Chad noticed that Terry had received a constant flow of letters and snap shots from his sister in Phoenix. He had envied the close bond between them because he and his brothers were close, but they had sort of loss track of them when he entered the military. Every now and then they would him to keep him informed of how things were going back home with the ranch and their folks. There were times around camp that they all would sit around and trade stories about news from back home or some family drama. A few times Terry read his latest letter from Stacy out loud and had everyone in the main mess hall chuckling over some of the antics of her co-workers or students described in hilarious detail. Unknowingly, Terry had kept up the morale of the guys who had no one and where going through a rough time because of that fact. Terry was just that kind of guy. He would give you the shirt off his back and any guy in their unit would do the same for him. When he’d picked the envelope up, a range of emotion had torn through him as he’d opened it with shaking hands and a sinking stomach. He had known that the news of Terry’s death would destroy Stacy once she found out. And he should know. Unable to resist, he read every word of her letter and soon he found himself soaking up every word he read in an almost desperate need to purge his mind and was completely unprepared for how they would affect him The humor and love she had put in each and every word had wrapped themselves around his shattered emotions to offer an unwitting comfort to him. Chad had never met Stacy, but he had wished with everything in him that he could be there to comfort her in her time of need.
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Love’s Redemption Since he couldn’t, he’d done the next best thing; he’d written her a letter. He’d poured all of his thoughts and emotions into that letter trying to give her the comfort she must surely need and unknowingly seeking some more of a connection to the woman he now felt drawn to through their mutual grief. After sending the letter off his emotions had leveled out and he had felt purged of the intense feelings in some way. A week later when he’d received a letter from Stacy addressed to him, he’d been hesitate to open it. Days went by before he finally opened it and read every word of the heart breaking letter. That’s when the bond between them had been formed. In the months after that, Chad and Stacy wrote and traded pictures back and forth to each other as often as possible forming an unexpected friendship. He’d told her about the other side of the man she’d known all her life and that he’d known for the past ten years. He’d let her know that Terry had not died alone on that fateful day. The letter in hindsight had been raw and gritty, but he had spoken from the heart.
If anyone thought it was odd, they’d never let on. In the beginning, he’d felt like he owed it to Terry to be there for his sister since he no longer could. As time went by, his feelings had turned into something else. Her letters kept him tethered to sanity at times, keeping a part of him separate from the chaos going on around him. He also started to see less pain and sorrow in the letters Stacy sent him and more of her calm and funny self. He’d told her things he would never tell his family and she’d shared her worries over her students and adjusting to being a teacher instead of a student aide. He told her how proud he was of her and had promised that someday he would have to come to the valley of the sun for a visit in every other letter he wrote her over the next couple of months. These past few weeks he hadn’t been able to write Stacy at all because of the fast and unsteady pace of this last mission. With the way the last operation had gone, he’d had little hope of keeping a promise that he’d made to anyone. With all the insurgents that they’d faced and the last brush with death he’d had, Chad had fully expected to be one of many casualties he saw being carried into the unit triage while getting his own minor injuries taken care of. Upon survival, he swore to make his way back home and pray that once he got there he would be able to deal with the horrific images he carried with him on a daily basis and find his way back to being whole again.
Now sitting on the long flight headed back to the United States, Chad pulled out a small picture and absently ran his finger across the woman shyly smiling back at the camera 7
Love’s Redemption surrounded by a bunch of third graders. This picture was his favorite because it gave him a true look into her everyday world and made him feel a part of it. Her enjoyment was openly seen in depths of her clear brown eyes and dimpled smile that curved her soft looking lips. He couldn’t remember when it happened, but he had started to imagine what it would be like to sample a taste of those very same lips. He found the thought even had the power to chase away even the worst of the nightmares he was sometimes plagued with when he closed his eyes for a few hours of sleep. Those were the moments when survival wasn’t the most important thing on his agenda and where he could explore the woman who had come to mean so much to him. The letters had been his lifeline to a life that had seemed so far away at times. The elegant handwriting on each letter was ultra feminine with its flowing flowery style just like the woman herself appeared to be. He knew that he was taking a huge chance, but he had to see her even though he knew nothing could ever come from it. So here he sat, flying over thirty thousand miles in the air having all kinds of reservations about what he was about to do. He just hoped that the last letter he had written Stacy had gotten to her to let her know he was coming to town. He would have called, but they’d never exchanged phone numbers in all the time they’d wrote each other. He’d called to let his family in Colorado know to expect him a day later than he’d first planned. When his parents had asked why, he had told to them he was going to see a friend. The memory made him feel somewhat unsettled. As much as he’d told himself that he was going to finally pay his last respects to Stacy in memory of Terry, he knew that was a lie. In all of his 34 years, he was assailed with a feeling of incompleteness when he thought of never seeing Stacy in person. He couldn’t explain it, but Chad felt compelled to see her. He just hoped that after almost a month of not talking Stacy would be open to his visit. Putting the picture back in his coat pocket, he settled back in his window seat for the long flight ahead. The Found Stacy came to a sudden stop as she became aware of a large silhouette of a person separating itself from the other shadows of the poorly lit doorway directly in front of her first story one bedroom apartment. Normally she got home from her teaching position thirty minutes after her third graders left for the day, but today had been different. She’d stayed late to help a fellow teacher plan a lesson for the following week that she was struggling with. All she could think of as she’d pulled into her designated parking space was a steaming hot shower for her aching body, a tv dinner and a relaxing weekend catching up on some reading. Now as she eyed the shadowy figure leaning against the stucco wall beside her door, she regretted her decision to try to make only one trip from her small car as she balanced her large purse and all the school stuff in both of her arms. Who in the world could it be? She 8
Love’s Redemption wondered trying to make out the identity of the person from where she stood. She didn’t have many visitors, just a few girlfriends over every now and then to hang out. The tall and bulky shadow she could make out didn’t resemble any of them. Getting an uneasy feeling, she backed away and quickly made her way back the way she’d just come. Just as she neared the end of the sidewalk leading to the parking lot, she heard a voice call her name. “Stacy…? Stacy wait…” A deep commanding voice drawled close behind her making her gasp as she turned. The shadow had become a man that now stood towering over her much smaller frame holding an oddly shaped object close to his chest. Taking a startled step away, she dropped all the supplies in her haste. Stacy tensed as her mind went completely blank of all the self defense moves her brother Terry had taught her while growing up as she stared at a vaguely familiar pair of the bluest eyes she had ever seen and gasped. Chad was fighting a serious case of doubt as he stood staring down at Stacy’s terrified, but familiar face. After almost two days, his plane had touched down in Phoenix a few hours ago. When he first exited the plane, he had been surprised to feel the blazing heat of the sun on his military cut dark brown hair in the middle of October. Surprisingly enough the weather in Baghdad was about twenty degrees cooler than the ninety-two degree weather of the Arizonan desert. He’d quickly shed the light jacket he wore on the flight in favor a plain white tee shirt and comfortable jeans. As his well worn cowboy boots had taken him through the airport, he was thankful to once again be on American soil. Once he’d picked up his luggage he’d found the nearest pay phone to call home to let them know he was officially in Arizona. After leaving a message, he’d picked up his rental vehicle and looked up Stacy’s address. Now, it seems like it had not been one of his better ideas based off the look of terror on her delicate face as she stood before him. Taking a step back, he tried his approach again. “Stacy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s me, Chad. I take it you didn’t get my letter… ” He made sure to soften his voice to put her at ease. “Chad?” The faint sound of her own voice snapped Stacy out of her petrified trance as she stared up at the faintly familiar bulk of the man in front of her. As her fear slowly receded, she was able to notice the minute details of his ruggedly handsome face and closely cropped blond hair. Minus the dark blond stubble on his lean sculpted cheeks and the civilian clothes, he looked exactly like the picture he’d sent her months ago. The picture had not prepared her at all for pull of his physical presence and she found herself speechless as memories of the past year assailed her. He was the only person she’d ever talked to about after Terry’s death. Major Chad Jensen had been both grief counsel and best friend to her in her time of need. Chad had reached out and was there for her to turn to when her grief had eaten a hole straight through her. He’d encouraged her through his continued correspondence to keep her head up and not 9
Love’s Redemption let her sorrow have a firm grip on her. He had made her feel like she was not alone and that it was going to eventually be okay. Even though she’d never met him, Stacy felt she had formed a special bond with him that she would treasure always. Within the last few weeks, the letters had abruptly stopped. She continued to write praying that the letter found him safe and whole. Each night she found herself wondering as she drifted off to sleep how he was doing and if she would ever hear from him again. Meeting him was something she’d never really thought would actually happen. Refocusing on Chad as he stood in front of her, Stacy fought down the adrenaline coursing through her veins. Now her heart pumped in her excitement… “Chad…? Is that really you?” The words slipped out as she still couldn’t believe her eyes. She felt like kicking herself for not saying something wittier and original. Nice going Einstein. She thought mentally rolling her eyes. This was not how she pictured their first meeting. Chad stood debating how to handle the situation he now found himself in thanks to his bad judgment when she spoke again in recognition. “Major Chad Jensen at you service.” The salute he gave was out of habit and it had him inwardly cringing. Civilian life would take some getting use to after all. No sooner had he completed the thought, he noticed his formal greeting seemed to put her at ease. “Sorry about the salute. It’s a habit that’s gonna be hard to break.” He self consciously ran his fingers over his short hair. He saw Stacy watching him and everything that happened next was stamped onto his brain. Tears quickly filled her almond shaped eyes and ran down her face unchecked as she gave a small cry and launched herself straight into his arms. Chad felt her arms tightly wrap around him and something in him responded to the emotions pouring from her. He returned her embrace as they both become briefly consumed by the emptiness of the last few months. Chad had read every one of her letters and until now he didn’t realize how much he’d missed writing back to her. Being in her presence brought that home to him big time. It also brought some other things home to him as well as he felt his body swiftly responding to the soft lush curves tightly pressed into his tall muscular frame. He had not had a warm female body pressed this intimately to his in longer than he cared to think about and all off the lust filled thoughts he’d had about her in particular in the last lonely months were coming back in full force. Just as he completed that thought, Stacy pulled slightly away from him. The sight of her worried tear stained face swiftly shifted his focus. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.” He grazed his knuckles gently against her soft, warm sienna cheek.
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Love’s Redemption “I’m so glad you’re okay.” Hearing her quietly utter those words made him feel that things would actually be okay from here on out. Leaning down, he lightly touched his lips to her forehead and slowly pulled away from her. The coolness of the desert night air replaced the warm shelter of Chad’s arms making Stacy shiver at the loss she felt. Looking at him intently now, she still could not believe he was standing right here in front of her. In all the letters written between them, she’d never thought he would take her up on her offer of coming to Phoenix to finally meet. Running her eyes over the features of his face revealed by the streetlight, she was startled by the scars that marred the left side of his ruggedly handsome face that she hadn’t noticed until now. She knew that he had never mentioned having suffered any injuries the last time they’d written each other and she wondered the still tender looking lacerations. Was this why he’d stopped writing the last few months? She thought deciding to ask at another time. When he had told her that he had been raised on a ranch, Stacy had painted him as the typical cowboy in every western she’d ever seen. Now she saw that she was way off track and her eyes followed the way the plain white tee shirt and worn jeans clung to the bulging muscles of his wide shoulders and lean well muscled legs. Clearing her throat, she bent down to pick up the stuff she’d dropped earlier and noticed a small delicate bouquet of tulips in the mist of her papers. “Oh…” She picked them up and gently inhaled their delicate scent. “Are these for me?” She questioned looking up into his handsome face. “Yeah…” He ruefully admitted. What had seemed like a great idea earlier now felt a bit overboard. “Thank you, their beautiful Chad.” She reached forward to briefly brush her lips across his broad cheek. “At first when I saw you leaning against the wall, I didn’t know what to think. Tulips were the last thing I was thinking of when I saw you looming there. They’ll go a long way to getting back the two years you scared off my life.” They both laughed as his helping hands joined hers as they made quick work of picking up every piece of paper. “Here, let me carry this and you can just tell me where to put everything.” He took the rest from her arms and followed her as she led the way to the front door of her apartment. As she unlocked the door, Chad got another look at the woman standing in front of him. He was having a hard time consigning himself to the fact that Terry’s little sister was the beautiful woman before him. The lazy curls haphazardly pinned up gave him a clear view to the graceful arch of her neck as his eyes wondered down the delicate curve of her back to the way the jeans 11
Love’s Redemption she wore molded to her shapely backside. He suddenly became overcome with a vision of his hands filled with the well-shaped globes as he slid every inch of his now hard cock balls deep inside her warm wet heat. The stirring vision brought a flush to his face as he quickly shook off his heated thoughts. “Here we go. Come on in.” Stacy glanced over her shoulder at Chad as she walked further into the apartment. “Sorry if it’s a mess. It’s a mad dash to get to school on time in the morning.” She quickly scanned her small living room to make sure everything was neat. She breathed a sigh of relief at the orderly arrangement of the lipstick red chaise lounge and matching sleeper sofa she purchased six months ago. She was glad she had let the salesman talk her into getting it because she found the bold rich color gave her a dose of confidence every time her eyes fell on it. “Would you like something to drink?” Stacy turned to see him standing by the doorway as he looked back at her. “No, I’m good—“ Before he could finish, a faint grumbling came from her stomach. Stacy’s eyes widened as her hand flew to her stomach in mortification. “Looks like someone could use a bite to eat.” He chuckled as he stepped closer to her. Looking up into his laughing blue eyes, she couldn’t help but smile too as her stomach emitted another growl of hunger. “How about I take you out to eat before both of our stomachs start feeding in on themselves.” He joked trying to ease her obvious embarrassment. “That sounds great. Make yourself at home while I go change. I’ll be right back.” She took one last look at him, and made her way to her bedroom to freshen up. After watching her walk further back into the apartment, he took a seat on the overstuffed loveseat and glanced idly around her small but well decorated place. The sight of the bold reds and purples didn’t come as a surprise to Chad. In the letters they’d wrote one another, he always found Stacy to be full of humor and spice for life. Her words had always jumped from the page and painted a vivid picture for him no matter what the subject. His eyes fell on a picture of abstract art hanging on the opposite wall and he recalled her mentioning a piece she’d purchased just recently. He heard the muted sound of a shower coming from the bedroom as he made himself more comfortable. He found the sound settling into him as he closed his eyes and let his thoughts wonder. The image of Stacy’s enticing brown skin as rivulets of water caressed all the places that his hands and lips longed to do formed vividly in his mind’s eye. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a taste of chocolate, but he was willing to bet that a taste of her would more than make up for lost time. Arousal swiftly moved through his body causing a painful ache in his cock. He shifted in the confinement of his jeans at the pointlessness of such thoughts. He’d 12
Love’s Redemption known when he first started having these thoughts about Stacy that nothing would ever come of them due to his loyalty to Terrence. Terrence had mentioned in confidence that Stacy was a virgin and that she was saving herself for marriage. Chad had never said anything to Stacy about Terry’s disclosure, but he had come to know her as a woman who was focused and sure of herself. It was one of the many things he liked about her. A smile curved his lips as he opened his eyes to see the woman herself quietly leaning up against the door frame with a mysterious look on her pretty face. He took in the black strapless blouse and how it lovingly molded to her full breasts while a pair of dark blue skinny jeans covered her surprisingly long shapely legs. “Wow…” The word escaped before he could stop it and before he knew it, he had unfolded his large body to stand before her. The Stacy he knew from the letters she’d written and the Stacy standing before him were colliding and he had not been prepared for the reality of it. He knew there was an invisible ‘Do Not Touch’ sign on her, but he couldn’t resist the temptation to reach forward and run his fingertips through the loose curls now falling around her shoulders. “So this is what teachers off duty look like?” He couldn’t resist teasing her to watch the flush on her face. She answered his smart comment by poking him in the center of his chest with a neatly trimmed finger. “Don’t make me put you in timeout.” If timeout meant getting more time with the teacher, then he was all for it. He thought leaning closer to her. “I bet you tell that to all the guys.” He continued to playfully pull on a curl. Stacy watched the intense look cross Chad’s face and knew she was playing with fire. While she’d been in the shower, she’d thought of little else but him and his unexpected visit. She still couldn’t believe that they were finally face to face and she found herself reliving the brief moment of how his firm but soft lips had felt against her brow. Even now remembering the added sensation of the hot water as it traveled over her sensitized breasts made the hard points of her pebbled nipples brush uncomfortably against the cups of her lacy bra. “Just for the bad ones. Are you saying that you qualify?” She lightly shoved him away as she reached for a matching black sweater to cover her bare shoulders. She knew from the chilly air this morning that tonight would be the same and she was a desert-rat through and through and hated being cold. “I’m ready whenever you are, Cowboy.” She teased using the nickname she’d given him awhile back as she turned back around. “I’m glad because I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.”Chad grinned stepping forward to help her into her sweater. He held the door open for her and stood by as she locked it.
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Love’s Redemption A few minutes later, they were buckled into his silver SUV rental as he pulled out the parking lot. Stacy took in the familiar scenery as Chad smoothly maneuvered through the Friday night traffic at the direction of the navigation system. “So, where are we going?” She asked but in all honesty Stacy wasn’t too picky about where they went. She was just happy to be with Chad. He took his eyes off the road for just a moment to glance at her. “There’s this place I saw advertised in the airport I thought we could try. It’s new and since I know you like Creole food, I think this place is right up your alley.” “You remembered…” She turned to him and smiled. Chad reached over and took her hand in his as they came to a stop light. “I remember every word you said.” He glanced away briefly and looked back into her open face again. “Your words saved me…” His husky voice trailed off as he stared straight into her arrested gaze. “Me too.” She reached over and caressed his lean cheek, running her fingertips lightly over the faint scar the stubble couldn’t quite hide. Their words settled around them as everything else fell away in the background and their emotions swelled to fill the car. Stacy was drawn to the silent call she saw flash in his eyes and she felt her breasts swell in response. She watched in fascination as he leaned down slowly and captured her lips in a searing but soft kiss that took her breath away. His kiss was all consuming as he expertly sipped from her pouty lips. Her breathy moans fanned the flames of his desire and turned the temperature up between them. Just as she brought her hands up to frame his face and lean further into his strong chest, a sound jerked them both out of the sensual spell they’d been under. They both looked around to see cars randomly pass them while honking their horns. “I guess there’s not another shade of green?” He joked as he set the car in motion once again. “Maybe a minty green?” Stacy offered laughing as he shook his head. The moment of sensual heat slowly dissipated and they continued on driving through the busy traffic like the moment never happened. In no time, they had pulled into the restaurant parking lot. Chad opened Stacy’s door and held her hand as she gracefully stepped from the vehicle. She was pleasantly surprised when he kept possession of hand in his as they made their way to the entrance of the building where the sign read: Pop’s Place. She’d heard of it through the grapevine at work, but had yet to go to the new restaurant herself. She was glad she got to experience it with Chad. Feeling her hand fit perfectly in his made something inside Stacy feel warmly protected. She felt a void that she normally tried not to notice being filled as she glanced at him from 14
Love’s Redemption beneath her lashes. She felt like Cinderella knowing that this was just for one night and that her fairytale would soon end. Chad’s six and a half foot masculine bulk beside her own five foot seven curvy figure, made a striking picture as they stood waiting for the maitre‘d to seat them. As they were lead to their table, Stacy was unaware of the stares as she walked forward, but Chad was. He was doing some staring of his own as his eyes ran over Stacy enticing curves as he walked behind her. He was struggling to get a hold of the rampant desire flooding his body. Thankfully they were seated at their table before evidence of his growing arousal could be seen by any of the other diners. Looking around the artfully decorated New Orleans style restaurant, Staci still couldn’t believe she was actually out with Chad. Her fantasy of meeting him had never gone this far. Glancing over, she caught his eyes on her and smiled as she picked up the menu and gave her suddenly nervous hands something to do. “I still can’t believe you’re really here in Phoenix. I just wish that you could stay a little longer.” She looked down at the selection on the menu to hide the sudden emotion she felt rising sharply within her chest. This time tomorrow he would be gone, so she told herself to not waste the moment on wishing for what couldn’t be. She silently chastised herself. Chad caught the emotions behind Stacy’s beautiful expressive face and found that he felt the same about the limited time he had with her. “I wish I could too, but everyone is expecting me back tomorrow.” Seeing the disappointment settle in her liquid brown eyes at his words prompted him to add, “But I can always come back for another visit.” He knew as soon as he said it, that it was probably a bad idea. Especially with the way his long denied cock was responding to her innocent touches. More time spent around her would test his already weakened restraints where she was concerned. The thought of unloading his raging lust on one of his old flames when he returned home tomorrow gave him a spark of hope that maybe he could contain himself until he hooked up with one of them. At least they knew the score and wouldn’t expect any more than his damaged soul was capable of giving. Looking at the spark of happiness now shining from her eyes made him aware that he would have to tread carefully because he knew Stacy deserved better than what he had to offer her. Dinner progressed with them savoring the good food and enjoying the soulful sounds of the live jazz being sung by a local artist. “Isn’t her voice heavenly?” Stacy sat there with her eyes closed gently tapping her fingers to the music of the jazz band as the lead singer belted out the smooth notes of a popular song and wished the night would never end. It was perfect. She only wished her were bold enough to ask him to dance to the beat moving through her body.
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Love’s Redemption Chad took in the beauty and effortless sensuality unknowingly displayed on Stacy’s face and felt himself being drawn and snared by it once again. He couldn’t seem to help himself as he reached forward and lightly stroked her hands as they tapped out a beat that seemed to match the now thudding rhythm of his heart. He leaned close to the perfectly formed shell of her diamond studded ear and said, “Dance with me…’ Standing up, he pulled her gently from her chair and they made their way to the small crowded dance floor. They started out dancing at arm’s length, but the smooth notes wrapping around their swaying bodies soon molded them together in each other’s arms. They soon resembled the other couples in the dimly lit club swaying in time to the music. At first Stacy was unsure of the position she now found herself in even though she had secretly wished for it as her heated body brushed against his, but she decided to go with the mood and the moment as she wrapped her arms around his muscular neck and settled within his arms securely. She had just settled her head on his shoulder when she felt a distinctive bulge brush up against her stomach. Her breath caught at the size of what she knew to be his arousal and an answering heat shot straight to the heart of her as her pussy wept in response. Her instant lost of control caught her completely off guard as her breath seized in her chest. She had always had a vague feeling of how it would feel to know the invasion of a man’s cock penetrating her pussy, but now with the subtle brush of Chad’s hardened aroused flesh sharpened that feeling into an all consuming ache as she tried to keep from making him aware that she’d noticed. Besides, she’d read somewhere that guys got aroused all the time with very little provocation. That thought cooled the heat fanning through her body somewhat as she pulled her lower body slightly away in embarrassment. Here she was making a mountain out of a mole hill…she thought in dismay. She had let her own desire and her secret longing for him read too much into a situation that probably meant nothing to him. Chad was struggling with the desire burning a hot path straight through his body to pool in his cock as it bounced against the softness of Stacy’s stomach. Sensations were combining to leave him almost lightheaded with lust as the beaded tips of her bountiful breasts flattened against his well developed chest. The sound of her gasp had only fueled the fire burning in his loins and he was almost thankful when she was the one who had enough strength to pull away. Clearing his throat, Chad stepped away and held her at arm’s length once again as the song thankfully came to an end. He followed closely as he could behind her as they made their way back to the table and stared straight pass the knowing and hungry looks of some of the woman sitting at neighboring tables. Adjusting the hard bulge in his jeans tactfully after they were seated, he looked up to see Stacy looking demurely down at her hands as she nervously played with her napkin on the tabletop. He leaned across to take the napkin out of her fingertips. The look of 16
Love’s Redemption suppressed longing she unwittingly turned on him made him give into the impulse to taste her lips again. “Sorry, sweetheart. I just got carried away…” He gently held her cheek in his hand as he looked deeply into her liquid brown eyes. “I would never knowingly hurt you or disrespect you in any way.” He didn’t want to ruin the night for her. “I know.” Sighing, she leaned into his caress while wishing with everything in her to explore the newly awakened feelings his every touch ignited. “How about we get out of here, sweetheart?” At her nod of agreement, he paid the bill and they both made their way out of the now crowded place. Unlike before, the car was filled with silence as Chad deftly handled the Friday night traffic. Stacy was left with her own private thoughts as the scenery passed by. Her sexual tension that had been brewing within her had slowly dissipated to be replaced with thoughts of her brother Terry and how the sight of Chad with his obvious military bearing had reminded her of the last time she’d seen Terry. She didn’t want to ruin the evening with the sadness that suddenly came with those thoughts, but looking at Chad had inevitably brought back forgotten memories. She’d first gotten to know Chad through letters Terry had written her over the years while stationed at various posts throughout the world. She remembered laughing over one letter in particular when Terry had jokingly referred to Chad as ‘the crazy white boy with a lot heart’, but time and many letters later had shown Terry forming a friendship that she had been grateful for. It had comforted Stacy to know that someone was there to watch over Terry since he was all the family she had left. But since Terry’s death, Chad had become the only life line in a sea of loneliness and unanswered questions. She’d never asked Chad about what had happened the day their camp was attacked due to shock and the numbness that had settled in afterwards. By the time it had occurred to her to ask, the words just wouldn’t settle right on paper. She just knew there was more to the surface explanation that he’d originally gave her. As they pulled up into the parking lot of her apartment building, she found the words she’d held for so long come bursting forth from her as she stared unseeingly out the window. “Chad, what really happened that day...?” The shattered words faltered and were magnified by the overwhelming silence that followed. Out the corner of her eye, she watched Chad’s once relaxed body tensed up beside her as his face turn to stone and tormented eyes greeted her before he looked away. The sight of this strong man’s struggle brought the sting of tears to her eyes and made it difficult to contain the emotions welling up inside her. “Chad…” Reaching over, she wrapped 17
Love’s Redemption her arms around him as best as she possibly could and felt a shudder pass through his big body into hers. Chad turned at the plea he heard in her soft voice. “I wanted to spare you the awful details, sweetheart. Please don’t ask it of me…’ His strong voice trailed off as if he couldn’t continue. Chad was wrestling with some serious demons as the last year vibrated in his mind shaking loose memories his mind had attempted to lock away for the sake of his sanity.
“Please.” Stacy hated causing him pain, but something in her needed to hear what happened that day just to heal. For a few minutes, she just felt the rise of fall of his chest beneath her cheek as she waited. She felt the brush of his lips against her brow and when he finally spoke, his voice came out rough and low as if he hadn’t used it in years. Chad painted a vivid picture of the attack on their camp that fateful day. Once started, the words seemed to come pouring out of him as he recalled the grisly details and he just barely caught himself from breaking down completely as he spoke of the horror of seeing the remains of Terry’s barely recognizable charred body. By the time he was finished they both silently mourned their loss of a friend and brother as they held on desperately to each other. After her emotions had stabilized somewhat, she reluctantly pulled out of his arms and sat back in her seat. Her eyes couldn’t help but fall on the digital display of the radio clock and once again felt a sense of loss she felt when she saw the time. Ten o’clock. So little time before he left for Colorado. She thought miserably. As if reading her thoughts, Chad cleared his throat and shifted in his seat to face her. “I’d better be getting to a hotel to settle down for the night so I can catch a couple hours of shut eye before I make the drive home tomorrow.” He wished they’d had more time to spend together. Especially now after reliving that fateful day. He hated leaving her so abruptly after dropping that stuff about Terry in her lap. Stacy looked at him as an idea occurred to her. “Why don’t you stay with me.” Once the words were out, there was no recalling them back. Despite her faced heating at the idea of him sleeping so close to her, she tried to think sensibly. She thought of her vibrant red sofa that also folded out into a sleeper sofa in her living room. She would rather he stay with her instead of trying to find a hotel at this time of the night. “I couldn’t inconvenience you like that, Stacy—“ He started. “I don’t mind. Besides you’d be the first to break in my sleeper sofa.” She put on a carefree grin to make it sound like he was the one doing her a favor. 18
Love’s Redemption Looking into her pretty smiling face, he felt himself giving in against his better judgment. That seemed to be a trend with her. He thought. “Okay, but only on one condition.” “Oh? And what’s that?” She asked at the rush of pleasure of being with him a little longer had her mentally jumping up and down like a giddy fifth grader at her first sleepover. “You let me take you out for breakfast in the morning.” His parents had taught him to always pay his way and never take advantage of hospitality. Besides, he would get to spend a little more time with Stacy over breakfast too. And the more time, the better. “You got a deal, cowboy.” She slid her hand into his much bigger one and they shook on it. With that taken care of, they exited the car. By the time Chad carried in his marine issued duffel bag, Stacy had managed to find extra sheets to put on the mattress of the sleeper sofa. “Just make yourself at home.” She pulled off the cushions hiding the bed and reached to pull the lever holding the mattress down. “Here let me get that.” Chad stepped forward and reached pass her to effortlessly unfolded the frame and set the bed up. Stacy tried not to notice how his well honed muscles bunched as he moved around the small space. “Thanks. I’ll just put the sheets on really quick and you’ll be all set.” She prayed that he didn’t notice how her hand slightly shook as she smoothed the fitted sheet on. “Oh, and the bathroom is straight through there if you need to take a, uh, shower…” She motioned vaguely over her shoulder towards her bedroom as she felt her face flush at the oh so naked picture of him that had just popped into her head. The sound of his murmur followed closely by the sound of his surprisingly quiet tread as he took some clothes from his bag and went into the bathroom. Running water from the shower cut through the silence as Stacy tried to get a hold on her hectic emotions. She walked into her small, but stylish kitchen and pulled down her favorite peppermint tea and nuked herself her usual bedtime helping to calm her nerves. Maybe it was the fact of having a man here in her apartment that had her so rattled? With a twist of her lips, she admitted that it was much more than that. Not just any man, but Chad. The same Chad she’d built a fantasy world around in her loneliness. And the reality was here now in flesh and blood, hotter than any man had a right to be. Waiting for the microwave to finish, she allowed herself to imagine what it would feel like to run her hands all over the muscular contours of his body. Would he again harden to her caressing touch with a passion to match her own without apology? Would he boldly touch her in return all the places she secretly longed for him to touch? The sound of the 19
Love’s Redemption beep beep of the microwave put an end to her wonderings as she reluctantly stopped entertaining her salacious thoughts. They could lead to nowhere because he saw her as no more than a friend. Leaning against the kitchen counter sipping her tea, she thought she had herself under control, but the sight of Chad standing in nothing but his boxer shorts when she looked up made that control crash and burn right before her eyes. She barely stopped a whimper from escaping as she helplessly took in the well defined ropes of muscles in his broad shoulders and slightly hairy chest that branded him as a living work of art. She continued on as her eyes were drawn to the ridges of his hard flat stomach decorated by a belly button that made her mouth water to kiss it. The fact that the boxer shorts covered his manly assets was both a blessing and a curse. She thought as she snapped out of the trance she was in and motioned to the tea in her hand. “I can make you some tea if you want. I have plenty.” She pointed towards the small selection of teas on the counter near the microwave. “No, I’m good. Besides, I’m more of a coffee kinda guy myself.” He admitted running his hand through his water darkened blond locks at the awkward silence that now stretched between them. “Well, I guess that’s my que to call it a night.” Licking her lips nervously, she moved past him and she got a mouth-watering whiff of the crisp, fresh scent of man and soap and knew that it would haunt her throughout the night and add to her fantasies. It was around an hour later when Stacy was finally able to drift off to sleep after having let her mind wonder at what was beneath the material of Chad’s boxer shorts one time too many. She’d just gotten into the realm of deep sleep when a sound woke her up. About to ignore it and turn onto her side, she heard it again. Just as she was about to write it off as another wild night for the college boys upstairs, she remembered Chad was sleeping in the next room. Rubbing her eyes and slowly sitting up now, she heard a hoarse shout ring through the small apartment. That definitely wasn’t her rowdy neighbors. Scrambling out of her bed, she passed through her bedroom doorway and quickly made her way into the living room towards the tossing figure on the bed in the darkened space. It broke her heart to hear and see him so tormented. “It’s okay…” She whispered soothingly reaching out to lay her hand on him in comfort. Her hand made contact on the damp skin of his shoulder, but before she could say anything else, she was pulled down and tossed roughly and held down with a forearm to the delicate column of her throat as Chad move menacingly over her. “Chad—“ She just managed to get out his name as she felt herself getting lightheaded due to fear and lack of air. She was helpless to fight him because he had her arms pinned.
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Love’s Redemption Chad was coming out of an all too familiar nightmare of rapid gunfire and a blood soaked ground when he heard the faint cry of his name. He opened his eyes trying to shake off the grip the dream had on him to the darkened room and the sweet delicate scent of crushed flowers. The feeling of a soft warm body and ragged breathing brought reality rushing back to him in a nanosecond. “Stacy…” He quickly rolled off her and fumbled for the light on the side of the couch. When the light bathe the room, his eyes fell on a gasping Stacy lying beside him with fear widened eyes. “Oh, God baby…What have I done to you?” He quickly picked her up and half ran into the bathroom and sat her on the counter before him to anxiously run his hands over her body to ensure that she was okay. His hands were shaking badly as he held her flushed face in his hands trying to help her breathe. “I’m okay Chad…really.” Her voice came out a little raspy as she put her hands on top of his to reassure him and stared directly into his concerned gaze. She cleared her throat and put on a strong front for him because she wanted to be here for him in his time of need. “I’m fine Chad.” Whatever he saw there must have put him at ease as he shifted his hold on her and wrapped his arms around her to hold her to his body. Stacy felt the rapid rhythm of his heart beat under her ear as she returned his embrace. “I could have killed you…” He trembled at his whispered words as he continued to hold her. The picture of what could have been refused to go away. It was just too much. She couldn’t bear to hear him castrate himself when he had already suffered so much. “Shhh…I’m tougher than I look cowboy.” She leaned back and followed up her words with feathered kisses over his troubled brow. When lastly she touched her lips tentatively to his, he turned his head to almost desperately claim her with the firm pressure of his own. He sought forgiveness and she granted it in her sweet surrender. The kiss may have started out innocently enough, but by the time his tongue started to invade her mouth, Stacy felt transported to another plain of sensual awareness. The feel of his bare chest beneath her hands was pure heaven as she ran her fingertips wonderingly over his warm lightly tanned skin so different from her own sienna infused skin. Besides the obvious color differences, the textures were amazingly different. Her softness against his slightly roughened skin. His great muscular bulk beside her own lush womanly curves. Just as she completed that observation, she felt the hard evidence of his arousal rubbing against her upper thigh as he settled in between her parted thighs. It seems bigger than before and she gloried in the knowledge that it definitely meant that he was due to him wanting her. Moaning, Stacy came alive to the sensations surrounding her and wrapped her legs around his waist and began to rub against Chad in return. When she received an answering groan from him, she doubled her efforts as her untried body begged for fulfillment. 21
Love’s Redemption From there things became frantic as he deepened the kiss and rocked his hips into her panty clad pussy and almost died when he felt her sweet nectar seep through to penetrate his boxer shorts down to the starving flesh of his cock. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around her and scooped her up into the air. He never broke their kiss as walked into her dimly lit bedroom and laid her down in the center of her soft bed and came down on top of her. She was the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted as he kissed a path across her lips to suck on the lobe of her ear as he continued to ground his hips into her in a muted imitation of the real thing. “Damn…I can’t get enough of you.” He had to see more of her. Just a little and he would stop, he silently promised himself. He needed to fill the emptiness that had been slowly eating him up inside. Fill it with the one woman who had grown into a quiet obsession in the past few months. He moved his hands down to ease her nightshirt up her body to bare her full breasts to his hungry gaze. “Oh baby, you’re so beautiful.” He wasted no time in taking as much of her left breast into his hungry mouth and suckling strongly on it causing Stacy to moan and buck against him in response. While his mouth worked its magic, his fingers moved to pinch her nipple on her right breast causing the sensation to meet in the center of her chest and shoot straight down to her now sopping wet pussy. He felt encased in heat as a trimmer shook her inner thighs and transferred to his aching cock. “Chad…please.” She pleaded with him to fill the aching emptiness begging to be filled by him and him only. “I need you…” She sobbed running her hands down his back past his boxers to squeeze his firm butt as he pressed into her needy pussy. She needed him in the worst way and didn’t care about the consequences. That was the moment where his restraint broke in half to let his desire reign and he shucked his boxers off and reached for the scrap of black lace that served as her panties to tear them from her writhing thighs in a now lustful haste. He took in the full picture before him and what he saw became permanently seared into his brain. Nothing else matter but this woman and this moment. This moment was theirs. Her long black curls were spread in disarray over her pillow as every part of her beauty called him to her. Her eyes closed as he slowly ran his hands over the hardened tips of her breasts down to the neatly groomed patch of short black hair between her creamy milk chocolate thighs. That is where he found the treasure of her nectar glistening and flowing freely making her ready for his invasion of her untried body. The thought gave him pause as he moved back between her parted thighs and took her face into his hands. “Baby, look at me.” When she halfway opened her passion fevered eyes to 22
Love’s Redemption stare up at him, he had to fight to keep his cock from slipping balls deep inside her tight virgin pussy right then and there. The passion he saw in her eyes turned them into glittering brown jewels. “Are you sure you want this? I need you to be sure…” He was dying being so close but yet so far away from the paradise awaiting him inside her body. Stacy reached up to kiss him softly as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and arched into his powerful erection. “Make love to me, Chad.” The throaty purr of her whispered words proved that she was beyond the point of return. She suspected that on some level that she’d wanted to be with him in this way for some time, but had never thought it would ever happen. Now that it was happening, she needed him more than she needed her next breathe at this point. There was no way she would let this moment pass her by. No longer able to hold back, he reached down between them and took his long, thick cock in one hand and ran the bulbous head up against her pink glistening core repeatedly to lubricate himself with her juices making them both groaned in pleasure at the action. He finally slid the mushroom tipped head pass the soft lips of the entrance of her pussy and gently pushed forward. He felt her tight passage squeezing him as he slowly continued to move forward. “Relax for me, sweetheart. Just feel me.” He’d only managed to slide in a couple of inches when he felt the resistance of her innocence. Knowing what he had to do, he pulled back slightly. “Look at me baby.” At his soft command, Stacy held his gaze and had only a moment to question the flash of regret she saw there before he slammed his hips forward to deeply imbed his long hard cock inside her tight wet pussy. She buried her face in his strong corded neck and moaned as both pain and pleasure ripped through the walls of the sensitive tissue of her pussy. Pleasure won as the feel of the subtle pulses from his cock deep inside her unexpectedly swept her up and threw her into the delicious throes of her very first orgasm. It was indescribable and had her greedily grinding her hips into his for more. Chad was floored as he felt her tight inner walls spasm repeatedly around him. Giving her time to adjust to his size was quickly forgotten as he started to pump in time to the spasms stoking his cock. Soon felt his balls tighten as his own orgasm burst forth from his starving cock to squirt hot jets of cum deep inside her pussy that greedily accepted every drop. He continued to pump into her for a bit more before finally collapsing halfway on top of her. He rolled over and pulled her relaxed body on top of his chest. “Stacy? Sweetheart, are you okay? I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Chad glanced down after having found his voice again.
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Love’s Redemption “Mmmm.” Her softy uttered murmur greeted him and he saw that she’d already fallen asleep as he felt her breath gently stir the hairs on his chest. He continued to stare as he silently marveled at the soul snatching orgasm they’d both just shared. If she was capable of that her first time making love, she would have him addicted in no time to the ecstasy he’d found in her arms. The very thought had him wrapping his arms more securely around her lush body as he felt a brutal tide of possessiveness rise up in him. He knew he could not give her forever, even though everything in him claimed her as his. He knew that she deserved a man that wasn’t damaged from the demons of war like him. It killed him to think about it, but he knew she deserved a man who was whole even though everything in him said hell no when he thought of another man so much as laying a finger on any part of her smooth brown skin. Feeling his own eyes getting weighed down, he shoved the troubled thoughts in the back of his mind to deal with later as sleep took him under. The first thing Stacy heard as she waded through the last remnants of sleep was the sound of the throaty moan coming from her own lips. The next thing was the feel of Chad’s nimble fingers as he circled the sensitive nub of her clit using her own juices to draw a maddening pattern that brought memories of their night together come rushing back to her. She blindly reached back to caress the strong column of his neck as he gathered her closer to his hard body and brought her up against the prodding length of his thick cock. Gasping, she arched further back into him as she felt one of his long thick fingers slide deep into her wet aching core causing her pussy to quake repeatedly around it. “Hmmm…” Any shyness she may have felt was tossed to the side in her need as she was taken over by the feel of his hands and mouth on her body. She shamelessly rode his hand as he played havoc between her silky thighs winding her to a fevered pitch. “Chad...’ She sobbed, when her orgasm caught her quickly making her jerk within his arms as her pussy was caught in the throes of milking his talented fingers. In her now weakened state, she felt Chad shifting from behind her. She didn’t comprehend what he was about to do until she found herself flat on her back in the soft tangle of cotton sheets and her thighs swiftly pulled apart before the broad dripping head of his cock slowly parted the tender folds where his fingers had been moments ago. They both groaned in unison as the pleasure, pain of the tight slid of flesh against flesh until he was completely seated within her. She had only a moment to savor the fullness of his girth before his gripped her hips and began leisurely stroking in and out of her tight sheath. The pleasure from last night paled in comparison when she was able to look deeply into his piercing heavy lidded blue gaze with each movement of their bodies. “So beautiful…” His whispered words were followed by the hot tide of his release that triggered another orgasm of her own as they both surrendered to the moment. She continued 24
Love’s Redemption to hold him as his big body shuddered on top of her own and when it ended, she reluctantly let him go as he slid out of her tight warmth to move to her side. Gradually, as he came back down from the sensual madness that had gripped him, the repercussions of his actions started to intrude and batter his conscience. God, what had he done? He mentally groaned. He’d turned into a sex starved idiot and taken something that didn’t belong to him. In the back of his mind, he’d known that, but had damned it all and taken what he should’ve refused in a moment of weakness. He cursed out loud as a new thought hit him right between the eyes. He’d foolishly used no protection both times he’d made love to Stacy. Oh, damn. He sat up and swung his long legs to the side of the bed to hang his head between his hands in complete disgust at the position his careless act had put her in.
Stacy still held the warmth of Chad body on her skin as he settled at her side, but when she heard him curse and sit up, all warmth disappeared to be replaced by a chill that went bone deep. The total silence that reigned afterwards made her want to call China and ask if they’d heard a pin drop too as she stared at Chad’s hunched over body on the bed next to her. Any thoughts of happily ever after went out the window as she took in the tense set of his broad shoulders. She tentively reached out her hand to touch the smooth skin of his back and traced the series of faint nail marks she found there. At his subtle flinch from her touch, she snatched her hand by as if it had been burnt. What was going on? “Stacy I’m sorry—“Before he could finish, she slammed out of the bed with the sheet pulled over her body as protection from the regret she felt rolling from him in waves. “No.” The flat refusal slipped from her lips as she tried to hold the overwhelming hurt at bay. She walked around the bed until she stood right in front of him, forcing him to look at her. “Why?” The question somehow made it past the lump now forming in her throat. The rawness of her question paired with the hurt he saw swimming in her eyes was doubly hard to witness, but he did not flinch away from it. Standing up, he pulled her trembling sheet clad body into his arms and held her. He could not bear to see the disillusionment in her eyes, especially since he’d put if there. “I made a promise to Terry to look out for you, but that’s the last thing that was on my mind last night and this morning.” He felt her tense up in his arms at his words. Pulling back, he looked deeply into her eyes to make her understand. “You were innocent and I took advantage of you.” He wearily pulled away from her and stood a few feet away from her to put some space between them.
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Love’s Redemption “What are you talking about Chad? I don’t understand why you acting this way.” She said trying to get through to him as she raised her hand to touch him once again. Shaking his head, he looked at her saw the confusion on her face and knew he would have to blunt. “I took your virginity without any finesse and if that’s not enough, you could be pregnant thanks to my carelessness…” He stopped when he saw the widening of her eyes, he knew the implications were swiftly hitting home for her as well. “I never meant for any of this to happen. I never meant for things to go this far. I wish I could take it all back and that none of this had ever happened.” He reached out to touch her arm in understanding and came up empty as she moved sharply back away from him to turn her back to him. He stood for a few moments looking at her before he turned away and silently walked back to the living room to gather his things. His words left no room for nothing but hurt as she stood there replaying his words in her head while listening to the faint sounds of his movements in the other room. What could she say to that? To think for a few seconds she’d felt a hope blossom in her heart when he mentioned the possibility of her being pregnant. Well, if he could wish it had never happened, so could she. She now silently admitted that she’d been foolishly holding onto a major crush on Chad and she’d let it cloud her judgment. Just as she finished that thought, she remembered something from last night. The kiss in the bathroom. She knew he was distraught over hurting her and she had all but thrown herself at him! She recalled sickingly. As she recalled how she had made the first move as he had checked her neck to make sure she was okay, the memory made her cringe. On top of that, she remembered how he had even stopped long enough to ask if she was sure right before he had joined their bodies. Humiliation followed each thought as she groaned at her own stupidity. She’d all but served herself up to him on a silver platter. Of course he would take what she freely offered, the man had been stationed away from civilization for God knows how long… Shaking her head when her body reacted to the remembered sensation of having him buried deeply inside to the point of pleasure/pain, she exchanged the sheet around her for her robe at the foot of her bed and walked slowly into the other room determined to make things right between them. She couldn’t let things remain this way between them. Chad had just finished zipping up his duffel bag when he saw Stacy leaning against the door frame watching him. They stood staring at each other, both feeling regret for different reasons and wishing that things could be different, yet the same.
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Love’s Redemption Stacy was the first to break the silence. “Chad, I want you to know that I’m not mad at you and that I don’t blame you for anything that happened last night. I’m a big girl and I knew what I was doing and I have no regrets.” Stacy was proud of the confident note she managed to inject in her voice which gave no to clue to the turmoil brewing inside her. The truth of what she said gave her strength. She didn’t have any regrets. She was glad her first time had been with him. He moved to stand in front of her with regret weighing heavily on him. “I’m so sorry sweetheart, but I do have regrets. I never meant for any of this to happen. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt the very person who I owe my very sanity to.” He reached out to caress her face. “After Terry died, I went around so numb most of the time that I didn’t even care whether I lived or died. I had dealt with so much death and destruction on a daily basis, and then came you. I can’t let what I’m dealing with poison you too. I’m not fit to be with anyone right now because I can’t give you what you need.” He dropped his hand and moved away from her again as he ran his fingers wearily through his short hair. “When I found Terry’s letter asking me to look after you, the last thing I felt like doing was writing a letter to you. But the words just came pouring out and when I got one back from you, some of the numbness went away because you brought back the man I wanted to be again. I had forgotten that man…” He looked at her, searching her sweet face. “I found myself looking forward to those letters. You kept me grounded and looking forward to the future. You amazed me with you grace and humor in the face of grief that I know ripped you apart.” His voice faltered as he met her eyes now glistening with unshed tears. “Aw baby, don’t cry.” As Stacy felt Chad’s arms close about her, she felt the truth of his words and also their meaning. While she had come to realize she loved Chad with all her heart through the combination of the letters he’d wrote her and their night together, she also made the realization that he seemed to only feel responsible for her because of his promise to Terry. Now she understood the meaning of letting someone go if you really loved them. Right then and there she cut off the tide of anguish threatening to cut off her air supply and wiped at the tears that had made trails down her smooth cheeks and looked up and held his stare with her own. “I’ll always be thankful to you for being there for me to help me through the hell of losing Terry. I’m glad that I was there for you and to help you deal with what you went through too.” She reached up to softly caress his stubble covered cheek. “I don’t regret anything we did last night and this morning. It was special to me. I would rather my first time to be with someone who I know cared about me. I don’t want you to worry about me up there in
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Love’s Redemption Colorado, cowboy. I’ll be fine.” She said, hoping he could see she meant every word she said and hoping he couldn’t see the love she hid from him. Her clear brown glaze was calm and steady as Chad pulled away and picked up his duffel bag. She followed him to the door of her small entryway and stood there fighting to hold it together long enough to say goodbye. She stood behind the door and held open as the feeling of cold air hit her bare feet when he stepped over the threshold. He turned back to her and stored the image of her standing there before him in his memory. “I care about you a lot Stacy and I’m sorry if I caused you any pain.” He paused to reach down to capture one of her delicate hands in his. “I need you to promise me that you’ll tell me if you find out that you’re pregnant.” He saw the instant denial light her eyes. “Promise me, sweetheart.” The low command had a hint of steel to it. He would not let any child of his be out here in this world without him and he would not leave Stacy to deal with the consequences of his actions alone. “I promise.” At her whispered consent, he pulled her in his arms again and held her as the faint smell of jasmine and well loved woman teased his nostrils and went straight to his cock. He abruptly pulled away before Stacy could feel his body betray him again. Clearing his throat, he briefly squeezed her hand and let go altogether. They both looked at each other and said their final good-byes. Chad turned and walked away wishing that things could be different and Stacy stood watching him leave wishing the same.
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Love’s Redemption The Redeemed
Chad stood leaning against the smooth wooden column at the steps on the porch of his ranch style log cabin sipping his morning coffee as he surveyed the wide stretch of snow covered land in front of him. He reflected on all the changes that had happened in the last few months. It was almost five months since he’d come back here and the fresh mountain air paired with the serene view of the forest covered valley had been the perfect balm for his tattered soul. He had been able to come to grips with the PTSD that had dogged his steps making him feel suffocated by the weight of it. He found that a lot of men and women who came back from active duty suffered from the crippling affects of post traumatic stress disorder. He’d almost let the shame and helplessness take over his own life before seeking help to cope with it. A lot had happened, but in the mist of everything, he knew he was missing something. Something important and vital to him. His heart knew it was Stacy. After having tried to contact her for the fifth time, he knew the remaining emptiness was connected to not being able to once again hear her soft sexy voice and touch her smooth silky skin. He missed everything about her. His mind traveled down different paths trying to figure out why she wouldn’t pick up or return his calls and he didn’t like any of the scenarios he came up with. He’d know soon enough, he reflected as he thought of the trip he planned to take back to Arizona now that the warmer weather of March was fast approaching. He would have went down sooner, but shortly after arriving back home, his father had a heart attack. Even though the doctors had diagnosed him as having had a mild attack, he and his youngest brother Dale had put aside their own projects and taken over the daily running of the main operations of the ranch until their middle brother Quinn could come back from an overseas trip his he’d taken. His brothers could hold down the fort and take care of things while he left to see about Stacy. He had no soon completed that thought when he spotted a silver car making its way down the road leading to the main house. He was use to seeing cars as they drove pass the turnoff to his place on the way to the main ranch, so he didn’t think anything out of the ordinary. As the car drove pass his turnoff and came to a sudden stop and backed up to make its way down his private road, Chad started to get a little curious. No one he knew drove something that small in these parts. Everything had four wheel drive out here because it was just plain functional. Must be someone knew to the area. He mused, taking a final sip of his rapidly cooling coffee as he prepared to send the lost driver on their way.
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Love’s Redemption He made his way off the porch as the car finally came to a quiet stop right beside his own big truck. He was unable to make out who was behind the wheel from his vantage point on the porch, so he waited for them to exit the car. A few minutes slowly passed by with still no movement, so he walked impatiently up to the driver’s side of the car and bent down to knock on the window. The figure behind the dark tint of the rolled up window moved and he was able to make out the feminine shape of a woman. The familiar shape started his heart to beat erratically just as the car door opened to slowly reveal a shapely denim covered leg step onto the graveled driveway. Chad quickly clashed eyes with Stacy’s sparkling brown depths as she unfolded herself from the confines of the little car. “Stacy? What are you—“ His unfinished question fell by the wayside when his gaze took her in as she turned fully to face him. “Hi Chad.” The nervousness was clearly present in her soft voice as she cleared her throat. “I’m sorry to just show up like this, but I didn’t know how to tell you over the phone…” Stacy looked down and held her hands protectively over her noticeably distended stomach as her voice trailed off. Chad followed where her eyes went and got the second shock of the morning. “You’re pregnant? But how—oh, damn…” His voice raised in disbelief, ended in a muttered curse of dawning truth as his gaze remained glued to evidence of her pregnancy. Even though he’d known it was a possibility, he was still in shock to see the obvious proof. Why would she wait so long to tell him something so important? “Is it mine?” His mouth asked the question clearly unauthorized by his brain and he cringed as he heard the swift intake from her lush lips. Instead of answering, Stacy spun on her booted feet to get back in the car while suppressing tears of hurt at those three words. She’d be damned if she was gonna stand there and let Chad deny his part in this. Especially not when it had taken her so much to get here. When she’d driven up here, she’d been desperate. Thanks to complications from her pregnancy, she could no longer work at her teaching job she loved so much. And in the last couple of weeks, she’d come to the conclusion that she would have to tell Chad that he’d gotten her pregnant and pray for his support until she could get back on her feet. Speaking of feet, she felt herself helplessly pitching to side as she once again underestimated her ability to balance and panicked as the echo of the doctor’s warning about taking it easy flashed in her mind. Putting out her hands to cushion her inevitable fall on the snow covered ground, she tensed when she suddenly felt his big firm hands and muscular arms fully support her now shivering body. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say something so foolish.” He said wrapping her close to his warmth. Through his flannel jacket and jeans, he could feel her lush curves fitting 30
Love’s Redemption perfectly into him as if she were a missing part of him. Along with the curves he remembered so well was the perfectly round baby bump pressing against his own tight stomach. He closed his eyes as a range of emotion swamped him all at once. Stacy was pregnant with his baby…The thought kicked around in his head and still didn’t seem real. One thought got through though. No matter what, he would take care of Stacy. Now, he had more of an incentive to do so. He’d start with getting her out of the cold weather since she’d already slipped once. “Come on inside so you can get warm.” When he released her and turned to lead her carefully back the way he’d come, a thought occurred to him. “Did you drive up here all the way from Phoenix all by yourself?” He saw her answer in the guilty flush on her worried face when she refused to say anything. If she weren’t pregnant, he’d shake some sense into her for doing something so foolish and dangerous. He put a cap on all the thoughts in his head as he continued to escort her into the house.
Stacy was unprepared for what she found as she stepped into Chad’s home. It was a perfect mixture of a sleek bachelor’s pad and the earth tones of western décor. She walked further into the room and stopped as she felt the warmth coming from the artfully paved fireplace seep through the thin material of her jacket. She made a beeline for it in the far corner of the main room to thaw out the coldness that had been an almost constant companion to her on her trip through the mountains to get here. She started shivering from both the remembered cold and the thought of what could have happened to her and the little life within her. She’d really taken a chance. As if he were reading her thoughts, Chad closed the door and came to stand by her. “You really took a huge risk making that drive by yourself Stacy. What if something would have happened? You put yourself and the baby in danger by pulling a stunt like that.” He watched her shoulders tense in response to his harsh words, but he’d be damned if he was gonna back down on this one. “I know. Believe me, I know. I just felt so desperate at the time, that I wasn’t thinking clearly. All I knew was that I needed to get here.” She smoothed her hand over her rounded stomach in a soothing gesture. Chad saw the move and became hypnotized by it. “May I?” He found himself reaching out to join his hand to hers. He heard her swift intake at the first contact of his fingertips against her body. His perception of the shape and size of her baby bump was hampered by the cotton material of her jacket and he found himself slowly unzipping it. Stacy’s hands fell away as he pushed the material aside to reveal her ripened shape. He found it hard to swallow as he 31
Love’s Redemption took in the full round globes of her breasts that sat above her tautly rounded stomach. All the yearning from the last months came back with a vengeance as he struggled to keep his hands only on where his baby was. His libido had been in lockdown since he’d left Stacy and came back home, and it showed. She was the one who had played a starring role in all his wet dreams these last months. Now that she was standing right in front of him, he had to control himself enough to reel it in. His lack of control had gotten them in this situation in the first place. “How have you been Stacy?” He moved away to lean against the mantle of the fireplace. Stacy struggled to pull herself together with absence of his hands on her body. As much as she told herself his touch had been impersonal, her body had caught flame at the feel of his big hand moving over her stomach. His question brought her up short as the past few months replayed from highlight to highlight in her mind. She sighed and rubbed her slightly aching back as she took a seat on the over-stuffed leather couch behind her. She felt the knot of emotions that had been her constant companion constrict as she spoke. “Good—great.” Her chuckle sounded a tad forced as she still tried to hold the truth of her emotions at bay. And apparently, Chad saw right through it as he asked her again. “Stacy, I know you’ve had to been really going through it to be so out of it to drive all this way by yourself in a snowstorm in your condition. Tell me. You shouldn’t bear all the weight of your worries all alone, sweetheart.” It was the endearment that did it. It opened the floodgates wide open and her hormones did the rest. Her voice shook as she opened up to him. “By the time I found out that I was pregnant, I was three months along. I wanted to call you and tell you, but the words just seemed to stick in my throat. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve picked up the phone just to put in right back down again. And hearing your voice on my answering machine was absolute torture.” Her damp eyes silently pleaded with him to understand why she hadn’t called him with news of her pregnancy. Chad came to knell in front of her and take her hands in his. “And what made you come to me now, Stacy?” He was coming to realize he was going to have to tread carefully with her. The fragile woman sitting in front of him now was not the strong, self-confident woman he’d left in Phoenix. Stacy held Chad’s gaze and knew only the unfiltered truth would do. “We needed you. With each passing day, I needed you and it was slowly killing me to be apart from you.” She felt laid bare with her confession. She’d stopped just short of begging him to love her as she loved him.
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Love’s Redemption “Baby, I feel the same way.” He admitted leaning forward to take her back into his arms. The smell of her soft curls brushed up against his chin as he closed his eyes at the simple but incredible pleasure of feeling her in his arms where she belonged. This time his arousal was paired with a catch in his heart at what this moment and this woman meant to him. “I was dealing with a lot when I got back, but thanks to the counseling I received these past months, my reasons for staying away from you no longer exist. Now I can be the man you need.” He was adjusting back to civilian life on his family ranch and he was no longer awakened in the middle of the night with the echoes of war and destruction haunting him. The fact that Stacy had come to him, gave him hope that the gamble he was about the take would pay off in the end and that this would be the beginning of their future. Here goes nothing… “Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve had to do that morning. Even though I felt like I didn’t have enough to offer you at the time, I still had a caveman-like satisfaction in knowing a few moments of heaven in your arms.” He pulled away from her to see her face as he continued speaking. “You wanna know something really crazy? I’m glad you’re carrying my baby, sweetheart. I wouldn’t have it any other way. When we made love the first time, I subconsciously knew the risk I was taking, but I think I’ve loved you for so long, that it felt like the most natural thing in the world to do with you, and only you.” The intensity of his words vibrated through her as she gazed into his deep blue eyes and saw that he meant every word he said. “Oh, baby. I love you too.” Her heart leap in her chest. The relief of finally being able to say those precious words brought tears to her eyes. She reached out to place a lingering kiss against his firm lips and the mutual kiss flared red hot between them. Before he could get completely lost in her, Chad had to know something. “Please tell me you forgive me for being so irresponsible with you.” He couldn’t take it if she now felt trapped because of her pregnancy. Stacy’s heart squeezed at the self-loathing she heard in his voice. Taking one of his hands in her own, she placed it back on the swell of her stomach. “When I found out that I was pregnant with the baby, I was so happy. Even though we’ve been apart for all these months, knowing that I carried a small part of you inside me is what got me through. At times I’d find myself talking to him and telling him how brave his daddy is and how proud I am of him.” At her words, Chad felt a faint flutter against the palm of his hand. His eyes widened in wonder when he realized what he was feeling. Wanting to be as close as he possibly could to the miracle taking place beneath his hand, he pushed aside the material of her clothing to place the side of his hair roughened cheek 33
Love’s Redemption against the taut but smooth brown skin of her stomach. Unconsciously he held his breath as he rested his hands on the swell of her hips and waited to be rewarded with another movement. His patience was duly rewarded when he felt a succession of flutters reaching out to him. So many emotions hit him at once making his eyes fill at the sheer power of his feelings for his unborn child. Stacy had said she’d told him about his daddy…he had a son. “I have a son…” He whispered. Stacy stared down at the sight before her and felt her heart expand in happiness. All she’d ever wanted was right here in her arms. This man and now their unborn child. She ran her fingers through the now longer strands of Chad’s wavy brown hair as the touch of his caressing hands sent warmth through her. She slowly allowed her fingers to travel across his broad forehead and move smoothly down the sharp blade of his nose to finally come to rest on the irresistible dimple next to his smiling lips. She watched as he placed nibbling kisses on her fingertips. Her eyes began to grow heavy lidded as pleasure unexpectedly zinged through her sensitive breasts making them swell almost painfully. Chad’s love filled gaze took in the effect his touch was having on her and felt his own body respond. His need made him break the reins of his restraint as he shifted between her legs to slowly run his hands over her soft inner thighs. He held her gaze as inch by inch he moved closer to spot where they both longed for him to be. When he finally brushed his fingers teasingly across her jean covered core, he could have sworn his fingertips got singed from the heat he felt coming from her. He heard Stacy utter a broken moan when he began to stroke across the area where he knew her clit would be and the arching of her hips into his touch made him bolder. As Stacy’s head fell back against the cushions of the couch in surrender, he knew he had to have his first taste of her. He’d regretted not having done so their one and only night together and he meant to rectify that now. He reached up and smoothly pulled the waistband of the maternity pants down, inching them over her rounded stomach and hips. She lifted herself up to help him slide pants, panties and her boots completely off. Placing her clothes beside her on the couch, Chad turned back and inhaled the delicate aroma of desire and jasmine scent radiating from her glistening folds. “Chad…” She moved to cover herself as she saw the sensually determined look settle on his face and gasped as his fingertips beat her to it. She moaned low and long as she felt him touch her wet core to settle one thick digit teasingly at the entrance. She felt like tilting her pelvis forward just to feel it sink inside her where she wanted him the most, but she didn’t because she was unsure of the role she was due to play in this new position he had her in. She stilled herself to wait and see what his next move would be. 34
Love’s Redemption Chad didn’t make her wait long as he proceeded to show her with both his hands and mouth to show how hungry he was for her sweet nectar. “Hmmm, you taste so good baby…” The vibrations of his raspy voice made her tight channel flood with moisture making the passage of his fingers easy to bear. As he pumped his fingers in and out of her pussy, his tongued lapped up each and every spare drop causing him to become addicted to the sweet intoxicating taste of her. Stacy didn’t think she could handle much more of the sensual magic of his mouth on her heated flesh. She’d never dreamed something could feel so good. At the slide of his thick fingers, she bucked as the first tremor shook her body. Before she could tell him it was too much, her orgasm ripped through her causing her to scream out her release. As he heard her hoarse cry and felt her legs quake after the powerful release he rung from her, he continued to suck softly on her clit heightening the intensity of her release. He was pleased at her unrestrained response from her. He knew that she had to be new to this experience. Eventually he drew back and he briefly kissed her inner thighs slowly as he fought for control of his own raging need. He wanted this to be about pleasing her, and that meant sacrificing his own need for now. He gradually rose to stand in front of Stacy and had to bite back the tide of white hot lust at the picture of her wantonly sprawled limbs displayed in front of him. Knowing he wasn’t gonna last if he didn’t do something, he quickly reached for her clothes to cover her tempting lushness. Stacy opened her eyes and looked up at Chad in wonder at all the pleasure he had just given her. She may have been initially embarrassed at the candid act, but at this moment she wanted her own forbidden taste of the hardness now straining the front of his pants. Her thoughts turned to action when she reached out her hand and ran her fingertips lovingly down the fly of the coarse material and gently cupped him. At his indrawn breath, she met his eyes and found a boldness that knew no bounds from the intense pleasure stamped on his handsome face. That same boldness had her quickly unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans to get better access to the hard flesh that she sought. Taking strength in her own sensual power over him, she sat up and she pulled his clothes down as far as she could and watched as his cock proudly sprung forward into her loving grasp. The pearl of moisture on the tip of the engorged helmet-like head mesmerized her and as she hesitantly touched her lips to it, she closed her eyes and savored her first taste of the faintly salty masculine nature of it. “Mmm…” She tightened her lips around more of him and hummed her enjoyment of his musky flavor hoping that the vibrations had the same effect on him that it had on her.
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Love’s Redemption Watching the sight of Stacy’s lips wrap around him made Chad silently admit that it was worth dying by extreme pleasure it to see his reality and fantasy meet. Any thoughts he had for maintaining his self control went out the window and he faintly smiled as he reached for her at the thought of her innocent ability to tear down all his armor and replace it with a sensual haze. With her in his arms, he left the main room and climbed the stairwell with his precious cargo in his strong arms and he made his way to his bedroom at the end of a long hallway. Stepping up to the huge bed sitting on top of a polished wooden platform, he gently deposited her in the middle of the bed and finished undressing them both. When he finally lay down beside her, he took in all the changes her body had gone through with her pregnancy. He leaned over and ran his hand over the swollen globes of her much larger breasts causing her to moan and arch into his touch. He closed his lips over the one closest to him and suckled the sweet dark berry of her hard nipple as he imagined their baby would in a few more months. As he did that, he flipped them both over so that Stacy was now sitting on top of him, straddling his lap. He didn’t want to risk hurt her or the baby by being on top of her. He bent her back in his steel-like hold as he continued to suckle her engorged breast. Hungrily, he kissed his way back up to her lush lips as he positioned her dripping center over his long, hard length. He swallowed her moan as he slid all the way home into her warm tight sheath. Before he could be blinded by the bliss that awaited him, Chad knew he must say his peace while he still had the mind to do so. “Baby, look at me.” At his husky command, Stacy left the cloud of desire she was immersed in to meet his gaze and the intensity she found there caused a tremor to course through her sensitized body. There was no escaping the desire and love she found there and neither did she want to. “You are my world. I don’t want to ever go through being apart from you ever again.” He reached up to frame her beautiful face with his hands caressingly. “Stay with me…marry me Stacy.” Stacy felt her eyes well with moisture at his words. She could tell that he meant every last one and they made this moment between them perfect. “Yes.” She consented so much with just that one word, just as she consented with her body as she felt him swell within her tight wet folds. She couldn’t resist grounding her hips down onto him causing them both to gasp in pleasure as a wave of red hot heat engulfed them. By mutual consent, they both began to move in sync to give and receive the pleasure that had been denied them these past few months. All too soon, the shuddering grip of Stacy’s heat milked Chad’s seed greedily from him as they both give in to the ecstasy awaiting them. 36
Love’s Redemption Later on, they lay in each other’s arms kissing, caressing and planning their future. Chad couldn’t help but think about Terry and how he had started them on the path they found themselves on. He’d written to Stacy out of duty and obligation and had ended up finding a love that would last him a lifetime. He sent up a silent prayer of thanks for the miracle of his soon-to-be wife and the child that they had created together. Despite the long road of pain and heartache these past few months, he’d finally found his redemption.
The End
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