Loving Lucas

Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis

Prologue

SWEET freedom was within his grasp and Riley Miller could scarcely believe it was real. After ten years ten long, agonizing years in hell—in less than twenty-four hours, his life would be his and never again would anyone tell him what to do and when to do it. All the rules would be out the window. No more listening to guards ordering him around, telling him when he could eat or sleep or take a shit while snoopy cellmates sneakily rifled through his belongings, spying on him for the guards and the warden. Everyone is against me. Always have been. But that’s okay. Soon, they’ll see they can’t keep me down and they can’t stop me from doing what I want to do. Alone in his cell, staring at the ceiling, Riley smiled to himself as he mentally reviewed his carefully crafted to-do list.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis He didn’t dare write anything down; his cellmates would find it and pass it to the guards and they would try to use it to block his release. Riley couldn’t have that. Not now. Not when he had come some far; not when he was so close to getting the second chance he rightfully deserved. The second chance his new lawyer had secured for him. “I can’t believe your first court-appointed lawyer missed it, but you were only seventeen at the time the crime was committed and because you were a minor, the police should never have questioned you without your mother in the room.” “What does that mean?” “It means your confession is nullified and therefore, your conviction is overturned.” “You mean….” “It will take about a day to process the paperwork, but after that, you will be released and as soon as you’re settled, we should think about a civil case on the grounds that your civil rights were seriously violated.” The lawyer, Drake Owens, seemed excited about a possible civil case, but Riley wasn’t worried about that. Owens had already served his purpose. Riley was no longer upset by his mother forcing him to promise he wouldn’t contact her or anyone else in the family again, if

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis she paid for Owens to review his case and fight for his release. She always was a bitch. I don’t need her. I don’t need anyone now. She can rot in hell, ’cause I’ll be free really soon and then I can really make things right. For Riley, that meant only one thing. He wouldn’t rest, he wouldn’t know a moment’s peace, until he stood over Lucas Keifer’s dead body while the bastard’s blood dried on his hands. No mistakes this time; I won’t just assume he’s dead. I’ll make sure of it. But no way will I kill him quickly. He thought he suffered before, but this time, he’ll be begging for me to kill him. He’d had ten years to dream about it and plan it, ten years to remember Lucas leading him on and then rejecting him. He knew his mother and everyone else believed Lucas when he said he and Riley had never been involved romantically. His mother had gone as far as to back Lucas up, telling the police that Riley had always been unstable and strange. She even handed over his journals, which held his writings about Lucas, and the police had used those writings as “proof” that Riley was clearly obsessed with the young teacher, who had done nothing more than be kind to the awkward kid who didn’t have any real friends in school. It was more! It was! Lucas made me love him. He was nice to me. I saw the way he looked at me in class and he wanted me, but he changed his mind when he met that other

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis guy and then he lied and I had to make him pay for that, for making a fool of me! Feeling the familiar stirrings of anger, Riley closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, assuring himself that soon, he would have his payback and nothing and no one could stop him. I wonder if anyone will call and tell Lucas I’m getting out. He almost hoped someone would. He liked the idea of Lucas sitting around, afraid, worried, wondering when Riley would swoop down and end his life in a bloodbath. Smiling at the thought, he allowed himself a moment to remember how he had wanted it to be so different, how he had fallen in love with Lucas Keifer the moment he saw the new teacher standing in front of his senior English class. Fresh out of college, ambitious and outgoing, Lucas Keifer wasn’t like other teachers; he was warm and kind and he related to his students. He didn’t talk down to them; he talked to them, openly, in a way that made them feel comfortable and at ease, and he never hesitated to offer extra help to anyone who needed it. When the other kids in class made fun of Riley, Lucas was the first teacher to ever tell them to knock it off. Riley knew then that Lucas loved him. And he was beautiful. So very, very beautiful. At five-nine, he wasn’t overly tall, but he was beautifully built and graceful with well-crafted muscles created by years

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis of competitive swimming and gymnastics. His hair was a thick golden-blond and more than a bit unruly and longish, the mesmerizing shade a perfect contrast to his sun-kissed skin and expressive, darkly- lashed cerulean blue eyes. He wasn’t a fan of shaving daily, so he often had a rugged appeal and, unlike other teachers, he avoided anything more “dressy” than jeans and T-shirts. All the students loved him, but none more than Riley. Riley loved him completely and, for a while, Lucas made it clear he loved him too, with smiles and eye contact and extra help after class, but then Riley learned that Lucas was living with another man and it broke his heart. He tried to talk to Lucas, but Lucas was confused when Riley asked him why he was turning away from him. “Riley, I don’t understand….” “You do! I know you do! All the time we spent together? You have to remember.” “I helped you after school….” “No! You told me you loved me. You said I was special.” “Maybe we should sit down and talk about this.” “No! I don’t want to talk. I want to know why you’re cheating on me! I saw you yesterday, at the park, with that other man.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Another teacher heard him screaming and she contacted the principal and the school therapist and they came in and demanded to know what was going on. They talked to him and Lucas separately, but no one believed Riley. They all said he was clearly “troubled” and his mother bringing in his writings just confirmed that, the principal insisted, before he and the therapist instructed Riley’s mother to get him help before he returned to school. Lucas even offered to help cover the cost, but his mother refused his help. She told Riley he would just have to go to another school, that she wouldn’t waste money trying to “fix” him because she knew it would be a waste. “You just stay away from that teacher, you little freak. If you go near him, I’ll kill you.” He told his mother he would, but it was a lie, because he started sneaking out that very night, to go and sit across the street from Lucas’s apartment. Every night for two weeks after he was thrown out of school, he watched Lucas come and go from afar. He saw him with his boyfriend/live-in lover and he learned the guy’s name was Ridge Dallas. He was an accountant or something like that and he was certainly good-looking, but not nearly as good-looking as Lucas, and Riley hated him. Each time he saw them hold hands or kiss, he grew to hate Lucas more. Lucas lied; Lucas led me on; Lucas cheated.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Everything that happened was all Lucas’s fault. He had brought it all on himself and Riley wasn’t sorry for any of it; even now, ten years later. He only regretted that Lucas hadn’t died. But he will this time; this time he will pay for hurting me, for lying, for breaking my heart and ruining my life with his lies. Really, Riley reasoned, it would be so easy. Maybe easier than it was before. He already knew where to find Lucas. He had been keeping tabs on him for years, going as far as to pay a former cellmate to track him down and give Riley a report about where he was living and what he was doing. He lived in a North Carolina town called Cedar Point where he owned a bookstore. Bet no one is living with him now. Bet he can’t get a lover or even pay someone to fuck him. Satisfied with that thought, as he always was, to know he had made Lucas Keifer unlovable, Riley rolled to his side with a contented sigh. Tomorrow, he would be free. Tomorrow, he would set his plans into motion and it would be wonderful. Enjoy what time you have left, Lucas. I’ll come see you soon and this time, you will die.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis

Chapter One

“LUCAS? Look, I know you’re there and you know why I’m calling. I got a call from that DA in Atlanta and he told me what’s going on. He said Miller is getting out on some damn technicality and they wanted the local law enforcement to know the deal.” Pausing for a brief second, Sheriff Nicholas Demetris mentally cursed, because he knew Lucas was sitting in his living room, listening to the message as he left it, but the stubborn bastard wouldn’t pick up the phone. As much as he loved the man, and there was no denying that he did love the man with all his fool heart, there were times when he desperately wanted to strangle him and now was indeed one of those times. Damn it, Luc; let me be there. Let me help you and love you. “Okay, here’s the deal. No one knows what this Miller bastard has in mind but I won’t take any chances, so I’ll be dropping by your place a little after five. I’ll grab some food

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis from the diner and I know you’re likely already making nice little plans not to let me in, but if you don’t, I’ll just spend all night sitting outside your door.” Allowing a small smile, Nicholas ended the call and sighed, sitting back in his well-worn leather swivel chair, reaching a hand around to rub the back of his aching neck. He knew the beginnings of a tension headache all too well and this one had been in the making since the unexpected call from Dwight Daylan, informing him he might want to keep an eye out for soon-to-be-released Riley Miller. “I’ll e-mail you the file on Miller, but I wanted to call with a heads-up. I still can’t believe the man is getting a free pass, and if I had to place a bet, I’d say he’s just as dangerous today as he was ten damn years ago when we locked him away.” “I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for him and I’d be happy to look at that file.” “It’s on the way, but to give you the basic lowdown; Riley Miller became obsessed with Lucas Keifer. In his mind, he had some sort of relationship with Keifer and when he had to face reality, he snapped. He abducted the man outside his apartment, took him to a secluded location, sexually assaulted him, stabbed him and then set what he thought was a dead body on fire.” Nicholas didn’t cut in to tell the DA that he knew that much, because really, that was all he knew, just the cold facts. Lucas had refused to share more with him or even talk

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis openly about what he had suffered. He kept it closed in, kept it locked inside, and Nicholas knew it wasn’t good for him, but he knew Lucas believed otherwise. That was just one of the many things they couldn’t agree upon and it was one of the many, many excuses Lucas used to push Nicholas away. In the five years since Nicholas had returned to Cedar Point to find the town had its first bookstore up and running, he had been drawn to Lucas Keifer, the owner and operator of The Haven. He had known with one look at the unbelievably beautiful blond that something important, something possibly life-changing would happen between them. I still believe that, damn it. I still want Lucas. He just can’t get that through his stubborn head. Only eighteen when he left Cedar Point to join the military, where he built a fifteen-year-long career, Nicholas had always intended to return to his hometown. He loved the Army but it was hard; he served his country proudly and would certainly do so again, but he came to resent having to lie about something he saw no shame in. He was gay and he was comfortable with his sexuality, had been since he was fifteen, but he couldn’t be open about that in the Army, which prompted his decision to return to Cedar Point in time to be named Sheriff when his uncle decided to retire and move to Florida. He had since run in an election and had won by a landslide because he was wellliked. The people in and around Cedar Point knew him and he did his job well.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Most people had no issue with his orientation and those that did learned to keep it to themselves, because his supporters didn’t react well when one of their “homegrown kids” was badmouthed. It amused and touched him that he was loved and accepted, and he knew that everyone in town, all of the locals, had the same affection for Lucas, even if he was a transplant from Atlanta. Nicholas had learned from his cousin Lucy that Lucas had been in Cedar Point for about three years before Nicholas came home, but there wasn’t much personal information Lucy or anyone else could really offer. “He’s a few years younger than you, single, used to be a teacher and he lives in an apartment above the bookstore. He’s friendly, but somewhat reserved and from what I’ve seen, he doesn’t date and not because he hasn’t been asked out repeatedly by every openly gay male within the tri-county area.” Hearing that, Nicholas decided not to give in to his first desire and ask Lucas out, which really was his second desire because his first desire was to pull Lucas Keifer into his arms and kiss him until they both blacked out. Instead, he set out to become the man’s friend, which wasn’t easy. Lucas was indeed reserved and not quick to trust, but Nicholas wasn’t accustomed to giving up on what he wanted and, eventually, he broke past Lucas’s first layer of defense. Lucas didn’t open up to him immediately, but he

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis did let his walls down to an extent and as he did, it occurred to Nicholas that Lucas was more than just a beautiful man; he was simply an incredible person. He was smart, had a great sense of humor, and a quick wit. The friendship that developed between them was solid and real. Four months after meeting Lucas Keifer, Nicholas knew he was in love with him, but he also knew Lucas wasn’t ready to deal with that. He held back for another six months, before he began to drop hints about wanting very much to move their friendship to the next level. He didn’t date anyone or even look twice at another man. Lucas owned his thoughts, his heart. He couldn’t sleep at night unless he jerked himself off while imagining it was Lucas’s hands stroking and touching him and, even then, he would awaken in the middle of the night aroused by some intensely erotic dream involving the sexy blond. When they had known each other for a year, Lucas told him kindly, but in a way that left no room for argument, that they could never be more than just friends. Finding out why took a little push from Nicholas. “I used to live in Atlanta, as you know, and after college, I got a job teaching at one of the high schools there, where a student became obsessed with me.” “What happened?”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “When it came to light that he had some issues, he was expelled from school until he could get help. I even offered his mother some money, to get him to a good doctor, but she refused, and two weeks later, he was in the parking lot of my building when I came home.” “Lucas….” “Long story short: He took me to an old warehouse and he…he assaulted me, stabbed me, and when he thought I was dead, he set me on fire.” “God.” “I managed to put out the flames and I crawled out to find help, but the damage was already done. I have scars across my back and down my left arm.” “Lucas, scars are….” “Hideous. My boyfriend at the time bolted. I don’t expect anyone else to be different.” Nicholas tried to argue. He did his best to make Lucas understand that scars didn’t matter to him, but Lucas refused to believe it and when Nicholas’s attempts to convince him otherwise put a strain on their friendship, Nicholas forced himself to back off. For a while. He still dropped his hints, still made it clear he was there, ready and willing, but Lucas ignored those hints and

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis even went as far as to encourage Nicholas to date other people. Their cat-and-mouse game went on for more than four years, with Nicholas always backing off before he pushed too far, but six months ago, his willingness to ignore the feelings that existed between him and Lucas ended. And Lucas himself was the reason why. When Nicholas was injured in the line of duty, Lucas allowed the nature of his real feelings to show, loud and clear. The injury wasn’t overly serious—just a bullet to the shoulder trying to break up a domestic dispute—but when Nicholas came to in the hospital after surgery, Lucas was at his side, holding his hand, worry consuming his beautiful blue eyes. Later, Nicholas realized that Lucas likely thought the painkillers in his system would make it impossible to clearly recall anything that was said, but he was wrong. Nicholas remembered perfectly the feel of Lucas’s soft lips kissing the back of his hand. “You have to be okay, Nic. I can’t…. I love you and I need you in my life. Maybe I can’t have you in all the ways I want you, but I…. God, I still need to have you close, to keep me sane, so don’t you ever scare me like this again, please. I love you too much to see you hurting. It kills me that I can’t tell you how much I love you.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis He tried to say the words back, tried to tell Lucas right then just how much he loved him, but the drugs pulled him back under and he drifted back to sleep with Lucas at his side. The next morning, his cousin was there when he opened his eyes, but what Lucas had said still lingered in his mind. As soon as the doctors released him, he went directly to the bookstore, getting there just as Lucas was closing. Lucas was surprised to see him and grateful he was okay, but the emotions he had expressed the night before were again carefully concealed, which didn’t come as a great surprise to Nicholas. But he wasn’t about to be pushed away. Not again; not when he knew what Lucas really felt. “Let it go, Nic.” “The hell I will, Luc. I heard you say you love me. And you know I love you….” “It doesn’t matter what either of us feel. I can’t—I won’t— cross that line.” “Damn it! Don’t punish me because of what your asshole ex-boyfriend did. It’s not fair.” “Just leave me alone, Nic. I can’t give you what you want. Deal with it and find someone else.” In Lucas’s mind, it seemed as simple as that, but it wasn’t for Nicholas. He knew who and what he wanted and nothing could change that.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis And he briefly tried. After the last blowup with Lucas, he tried dating, but it didn’t work. Getting a date wasn’t the problem. Nic wasn’t arrogant by any means, but he had heard he was good-looking often enough to know it was true. He supposed he had his father to thank for that; he had inherited Paris Demetris’s dark looks, a testament to their Greek heritage, but his green eyes were the one trait his mother had passed on before disappearing from his life when he was three. His years in their military had left his body honed, muscles defined. At six-one he moved with a casual grace, or so his late grandmother had often said, and he usually wore his dark hair a little longish now that a military cut wasn’t a must. He knew other men in town and in nearby towns were interested in him, but none of them were Lucas. Lucas was the only man Nicholas Demetris wanted. His cousin had told him to fight for what he wanted, but at the time, he had been too tired to keep fighting. Now, however…. Now, Lucas needed him and he wasn’t about to let Lucas deal with this mess all on his own. If Miller did intend to come after Lucas, Nicholas intended to be there, to place himself between the madman and the man he loved.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis He was only slightly disturbed by the small part of him that half-hoped he would get a chance to face Riley Miller. The bastard should die for what he did to Lucas. With that thought in mind, he looked at the file on his desk, the one the Atlanta DA had sent to him and he had printed out but never intended to allow anyone else to see. He knew how private Lucas could be; it would upset him if others knew what he had suffered. He would be upset enough knowing Nicholas had read the details and, worse yet, seen the disturbing crime-scene photographs as well as the photographs taken in the hospital. His chest tightened, thinking about those pictures, and he decided again that no matter what, no matter how difficult Lucas made it, he wouldn’t rest until Lucas understood how much he loved him and wanted him in his life. Lucas Keifer was it for him and somehow, he would make Lucas see that. A glance at his watch told him it was already after four. He picked up the file, put it in his bottom desk drawer, and locked it. He had just enough time to go to his apartment, change, and swing by the diner to get to Lucas’s around five. We’re gonna talk, Luc, even if I have to kick down the damn door and kiss you until you don’t have enough strength to argue with me.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Smiling as he left his office, Nicholas had to admit that idea had a certain merit.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis

Chapter Two

BY the time Nicholas made it to Lucas’s, it was quarter after five and to his surprise, when Nicholas knocked on the door, Lucas called out, saying it was unlocked. What the hell, Luc? Juggling the takeout in one hand, he opened the door, stepping into the apartment to find the lights were turned out, but the curtains open, filling the room with fading light as the sun moved down the horizon. Sprawled out on the sofa with a half-empty bottle of scotch in one hand, Lucas looked up at him with alcoholclouded eyes. “Luc, you shouldn’t be sitting here with the door unlocked.” “What’s the worst that can happen?” His words didn’t quite slur, but almost. Deciding not to answer, because he was fairly certain Lucas knew what the answer would be, Nicholas set the food

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis on the coffee table, went back to the door, and locked it. He didn’t care if Lucas was in self-destruct mode; he wasn’t about to let the man he loved fall apart or try and get himself killed. If he had to kick Lucas’s ass to drive that point home, he would. The door locked, he turned on two lamps and went to the window, closing the blinds and then the curtains. “What the hell?” “Don’t be an ass, Luc. You know damn well what I’m doing.” “Yeah, well, I don’t recall asking you to do it.” “You wouldn’t, you stubborn bastard,” Nicholas snapped, turning to face the other man, who hadn’t moved from his perch on the sofa. “How much have you had to drink?” Lucas shrugged, looking at the bottle he still gripped. “It was full when I started.” “Shit, Luc. You know you can’t drink like that.” “No, I’ve never drunk like this before, but now seems like the time to start.” “You’re gonna have a hell of a headache later.” “If I live long enough.” Ignoring the comment, Nicholas pulled the bottle from Lucas, placed it on the floor, and then set himself down on the edge of the coffee table, trying to pull his thoughts and

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis emotions together. He knew Lucas was in a bad place emotionally and he understood why, but he wasn’t about to sit around and let him spiral down into a depression or put his life at risk. “Listen, Luc.” “You got a file from that DA, didn’t you?” “Yeah. Yeah, he e-mailed it to me.” “Which means you’ve read it so you know everything.” “Luc….” “Were there pictures?” “Yes.” He couldn’t lie to him. He wouldn’t do that. “Luc, I want you to listen to me.” “So you know all of it now?” Standing, Lucas moved past him, walking across the room to the window, reaching out to toy with the curtain, but he didn’t open it. “I mean, I’m guessing the file had a copy of the police report and my interview with the police and even Miller’s now-null confession.” Resisting the urge to get up and follow him, Nicholas stayed where he sat. “All of that was in the file and, yeah, I read it and saw all of it.” “So you know what he did.” “Luc, please.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “You know he knocked me out, outside of my apartment, and when I woke up I was in this small, smelly warehouse and I…I tried to reason with him, but he was beyond the point where anyone could reason with him. “Well, you know what happened, don’t you? You know he raped me. And he stabbed me.” “Luc.” “I was on my stomach, when he set me on fire, but you know that, too. Doctors said I was lucky I only got burned on my back and arm, but….” He laughed—a harsh, bitter bark of laughter that echoed with tears he clearly refused to shed. “Well, I guess you get it now, don’t you? I mean, after seeing what I looked like, you can’t imagine wanting to be with me and, hell, I certainly can’t blame you. Maybe this is all a good thing: Riley getting out, it can finally open your eyes up to what I am and why any desire you think you feel is a joke.” Standing, Nicholas finally allowed himself to cross the room, placing his hands on Lucas’s shoulders, not surprised when Lucas tensed at his touch. “Right now, you’re upset and somewhat drunk, so I won’t hold anything you just said against you, Luc. What I’m about to tell you, I will tell you again when you’re sober and, hopefully, capable of being reasonable.” “Nic….”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “I love you. I’ve loved you for nearly five years and nothing, and I mean nothing, will change the fact that I love you.” “You can’t say that.” “I just said it, and what’s more, I mean it.” He felt some of the tension fade from Lucas and he leaned back against him slightly. Nicholas allowed his hands to slip from his shoulders, to wrap around Lucas’s waist. “I’m tired, Nic.” “You should be, after half a bottle of scotch.” “No, I mean I’m tired…. I’m just tired of the memories and being alone.” His heart clenched and he shut his eyes, pressing his face into Lucas’s thick blond hair and inhaling deeply. “Nic.” “Food can wait. I think you need to get some sleep.” “You plan on staying here, don’t you?” “I’m camping out on the sofa tonight.” Slowly, Lucas turned in his arms, but he didn’t make an effort to pull back and Nicholas didn’t feel inclined to step away as he looked into Lucas’s blue eyes, seeing a host of tangled emotions there that broke his heart. “Why do you keep fighting for me, Nic? I’m not worth it.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “You are. You are worth more than you realize and I love you.” For a moment, he thought Lucas was going to say those words back to him, but instead, he took a step back and Nicholas allowed his arms to fall. “I should go to bed.” “Luc….” “I’ll see ya later. If you’re here, I mean.” He turned, moving down the short hall to his room. Nicholas sighed as he watched the man he loved retreat not only physically but emotionally. “I’ll be here, Luc. Get used to that, because I’m not gonna be pushed away again.”

“NIC….” “Shhh. No talking, remember? This is all about feeling.” Any thought to protest died quickly, as Nicholas’s lips claimed his and Lucas arched into the kiss, opening his mouth and whimpering when Nicholas’s tongue touched his teasingly. He could feel a jolt of heat run from his mouth right to his already aching cock that silently begged for release. Everything in the world, everything around them faded and Lucas didn’t want the onslaught of emotions to end as he

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis tangled one hand in Nicholas’s dark hair, savoring the way the silky stands wrapped around his fingers. Twisting beneath the man he wanted more than he wanted his next breath, Lucas spread his legs more, lifting his hips to press his erection against Nicholas, wanting the other man to understand how much he wanted him, how much he needed him. “Nic….” “Tell me, Luc. Tell me what you want.” Gasping at the feel of Nicholas’s mouth latching to the sensitive patch beneath his ear, Lucas thought he would fly apart. He had never felt so alive; he had never felt so wanted. “You. I want you, Nic. I’ve always wanted you.” The admission felt almost freeing and Lucas wanted, needed, even more, but as he basked in that feeling of freedom, something around him seemed to shift. The feelings of love and desire faded and suddenly, he was cold and afraid as he opened his eyes to find Nicholas was gone. Instead, Riley Miller lingered above him, smiling sickly. “Don’t worry. I’ll give you just what you have coming to you, Luc. And you had better enjoy it, ’cause no one else wants to touch you.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Choking back a scream, Lucas sat up in bed, blinking as his eyes adjusted. He realized he was safe. He was in his room and he was alone. Raking a hand through his sweat-dampened hair, he cursed under his breath, knowing he needed to get his emotions quickly in check. Nicholas was still sitting in his living room and he didn’t want to seem upset when he faced him. He didn’t want Nicholas to have more cause to pity him, because pity was the last thing he wanted from Nicholas Demetris. But what I do want, I can’t have. And I can’t forget that. The dream he just had was a painful reminder that, no matter what, he could never give in to his feelings for Nicholas. Pushing himself from the bed, he slipped into the bathroom where he washed his face and gave himself a moment longer to pull himself together, before going into the living room to find Nicholas on the sofa, watching television. He had shed his shirt and shoes and he wore only jeans and socks. His hair was a mess and he looked like a wet dream come to life. Shit! Nicholas looked up at him, half-smiling. “Feel better?” “I have a headache.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Really? Who knew half a bottle of scotch would do that to a guy.” Rolling his eyes at the obvious sarcasm, Lucas sat down on the far end of the sofa, looking at the television. “What are you watching?” It seemed like a nice, safe topic. “Braves game just ended.” “They win?” “Lost six to four.” Lucas nodded as Nicholas shifted to face him and Lucas sighed, knowing they were going to have a serious conversation, if he wanted it or not. Don’t make an ass of yourself, Luc. “Have you ever been to Hawaii?” Thrown by the question, Lucas looked from the television to the man sitting beside him. It was a challenge to make eye contact when Nicholas’s bare chest was just inches from him and his hand itched to touch the smooth, olive skin. I bet he tastes wonderful. Salty and sweet. And his nipples…. I want to suck them ’til he screams. Shaking the thought from his mind, Lucas forced himself to focus on the question Nicholas had asked, but the way Nicholas smirked at him made Lucas wonder if he had somehow been projecting his sexually hungry thoughts.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Hawaii, Luc? Have you ever been?” “No. No, I haven’t. Why?” “We should go.” He shook his head again. “Go….” “I went there for two weeks about eight years ago. It’s beautiful. I’d love to take you there.” “Nic….” “We should rent a beach house with a private beach.” “I don’t….” “I’d love to fuck you on the beach, Luc. Surrounded by white sand and blue water.” Shifting for the sake of comfort as his cock swelled in his jeans, Lucas told himself to stand, to move, to get away from Nicholas and the image he was painting, but it seemed he didn’t have enough blood flow to his brain to follow that command. “Think about it, Luc. The sound of the waves, the feel of the sun. And you riding me.” “Nic, please.” “Oh, I like the sound of that. You breathless. Saying my name.” Closing his eyes, Lucas prayed for strength, but he was pretty certain no one was listening to his prayers when he

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis felt Nicholas’s hand in his hair, moving slowly and sensually, drawing a moan from Lucas’s parted lips. “Five years, Luc. Five long years I’ve wanted you.” “Don’t….” He forced his eyes open to see Nicholas closer to him, just inches away. “I know you aren’t ready yet, but you will be soon. Very soon, I think.” “I can’t do this. You know that.” “I know you want me. I know you love me. I know those feelings are mutual.” Lucas shook his head, but said nothing. He didn’t have the strength to say words they both knew to be a lie as Nicholas slipped from the sofa. Lucas watched with desirefilled eyes as Nicholas easily pushed Lucas’s legs apart and arranged himself between them. “I know you don’t want me to see you, Luc, but I intend to change your mind about that really soon, so get ready.” “What…what are you doing?” “Me? Oh, I’m going to suck your cock, Luc.” Teasingly, Nicholas brushed his hand over the front of Lucas’s jeans and Lucas hissed, which made Nicholas smile. “Looks like you need some relief. Lucky for you, I’m good at this.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Licking his lips, unable to deny that he was painfully aroused, especially by the sight of Nicholas kneeling between his hips, Lucas realized vaguely that he wanted this and he was sick of denying himself what he wanted. He didn’t believe for a second that he and Nicholas could have a real relationship, but maybe there wasn’t any harm in having this. God help me, I want his touch. Just this once at least. I need it. I need a real memory of him. Mesmerized, he watched Nicholas’s graceful fingers move to unbutton and then unzip his jeans. Of their own accord, Lucas’s hips lifted from the sofa, allowing Nicholas the freedom to tug the jeans down his hips. He heard himself gasp when the cool air in the apartment hit his cock. “And there it is.” “Nic….” “I’ve dreamed about this, Luc, but I got to tell you,” he shook his head, “the real thing is by far better than anything I imagined, and trust me when I tell you I have a very vivid imagination.” He placed his hands on Lucas’s knees, gently pushing them farther apart, and Lucas sucked in a breath as Nicholas teasingly trailed fingers up the inside of his nearly quivering thighs.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Fairly certain his heart was determined to beat its way out of his chest, Lucas could only watch, as Nicholas looked up with a smile that was sinful. Oh God…. Speechless, he watched as Nicholas lifted one hand, turning slightly, to pluck a piece of ice from a glass that sat on the coffee table. “Nic.” “Trust me?” “Of course.” That earned him a real smile and Lucas realized just how much weight those two words carried, as Nicholas sucked the piece of ice into his mouth. Lucas stared at his mouth, at those full, sensual lips, and he died a little inside because he knew that if they did this, if Nic sucked him off, there would be no going back. Once this line was crossed, he would never be able to reclaim his heart. Dumbass, you’ve already lost your heart, so why stop now? Knowing there was a logical answer to that question, but unable to recall what it might be, Lucas lost all train of thought as Nicholas pulled the ice from his mouth before leaning down to press open-mouthed kisses along the inside of Lucas’s thigh.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis A strangled cry escaped him and he shivered from head to toe. “Oh, Nic.” “What, Luc? You don’t like that?” The answer, though Lucas wasn’t certain he’d have been able to offer a coherent one, died in his throat when Nicholas teasingly nipped at the place he had just kissed. “You taste good. So very, very good, Luc. I’ve never tasted anything better.” Moaning, he opened his eyes in time to see Nicholas lean closer and lick his shaft from base to tip. Lucas tangled his hands in the sofa cushions as best he could. Head falling back, his eyes closed again, the sensations were almost too much. It had been years since anyone had touched him like that, years since he had known any touch other than that of his own hand. This, Nicholas’s touching him, was a dream come true and Lucas didn’t want it to end, even if he did have to deal with a broken heart when all was said and done. “Like candy. Only better.” He shivered when Nicholas licked him again and cried out when the man he loved sucked one ball deep into his mouth, licking and teasing, sucking, rendering Lucas a mass of quivering nerves before he turned his attention to the other straining ball.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Gasping for air, Lucas arched his hips, silently begging for more. “Open your eyes, Luc. Open your eyes and look at me. Watch me suck you off.” It required serious effort, but he slowly forced open his eyes, looking at Nicholas, who smiled, clearly enjoying having Lucas so completely out of sorts. “Nic….” “I want you to watch me. Look at me. Know it’s me and know I love you.” I love you, too. I’ve loved you for so long. I will always love you. He didn’t say the words—he couldn’t—but he did nod, to let Nicholas know he would do as he had asked and Nicholas smiled again. He’s beautiful. So damn beautiful. He doesn’t know what it’s like not to be perfect. “Nic.” “You’re starting to think too much, darlin’, and that’s not allowed.” Before he could respond to that, Nicholas slipped a hand beneath him to cup his balls with gently massaging fingers and Lucas ceased to think about anything but the pleasure, the incredible, mind-shattering pleasure that consumed not only his body, but his world.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis As the sensations washed over him, they suddenly became more intense as Nicholas again licked his cock before wrapping his lips around the pulsing shaft and sucking him deep into the wonderfully warm wet heat of his mouth. “Oh God. Oh, Nic….” Tangling a hand in thick, black hair, he watched, fascinated, insanely aroused by the sight of Nicholas’s lips wrapped around his cock, sliding up and down, licking and sucking, pulling off once to blow a breath over the wet, aching skin. “So very, very good, Luc. Now I want you to come for me.” His mouth descended again, the hand that played with his balls becoming slightly more aggressive, adding to the building tension as he sucked Lucas harder, faster, licking and swallowing, to take him even deeper. “Nic!” Hearing his voice cry out, Lucas hardly recognized the sound as his body tensed and then, with another cry, a nonverbal near-scream, he came hard and fast and Nicholas stayed with him the entire time, even licking his cock clean. Hand falling from Nicholas’s hair as he panted, trying to catch his breath, his eyes closed again, until he felt Nicholas tug the jeans away completely and toss them aside. “Come on, baby. You need to sleep.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “No. I need…you.” Nicholas smiled, dropping a kiss on his forehead. “We’ll consider this as you owe me one, okay?” Lucas opened his eyes, watching Nicholas pick up the remote and click off the television, before he crawled back onto the sofa to easily pull a drowsy Lucas into his arms. “Nic….” “Sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow. For tonight, let me hold you.” There was something in the request, something almost pleading, and Lucas nodded, melting into strong arms as Nicholas laid down with Lucas half on top of him. Reaching for a quilt at the end of the sofa, Nicholas covered them both against the chill and Lucas sighed, feeling tender lips kiss his forehead again. You just fell even deeper, Lucas, and you’ll pay for it later. He knew, of course, that was true, but for the moment, as Nicholas reached back and turned out the light, Lucas decided he didn’t care about the possible consequences. He would worry about those later. For now, sated, body still humming with pleasure, he was content to fall asleep wrapped in the arms of the man he loved.

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Chapter Three

WHEN Nicholas awakened the next morning, he was alone on the sofa, but listening for a moment, he could hear the faint sounds of Lucas in the shower. He was half-tempted to join him, but he knew that action would be pushing too quickly. But last night…. He smiled as he lay there, recalling how it had felt to watch Lucas come undone at his touch. It was a sight even more beautiful than he had imagined. He wanted to see it again and somehow, he knew he would, but Nicholas had no doubt that this morning, Lucas would retreat back to his emotional safe place because that was what Lucas naturally did any time they got too close. That game is going to end soon, because he loves me as much as I love him. Pushing himself from the sofa, Nicholas wandered into the kitchen, where he happily poured himself a cup of coffee and drank it while leaning against the counter.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis As much as he wanted to spend the rest of the day plotting ways to seduce Lucas, he knew he had to switch gears and think like a cop. If Miller had plans to come after Lucas, Nicholas wanted him to be protected, but he knew he would have an argument on his hands. Lucas would insist he didn’t need a babysitter and while Nicholas agreed with that, he did intend to have one of his men near or inside the bookstore during business hours and at night he would be with Lucas himself. Lucas would likely argue that as well, but Nicholas didn’t care. He wasn’t about to stand idly by and allow anyone to hurt the man he loved. Pulled from his thoughts by the sudden ringing of his cell phone, Nicholas set aside his coffee and quickly answered the call. Recognizing his deputy’s voice, he listened to what the other man had to say, looking up when he heard Lucas walk into the kitchen. He wore jeans and a long-sleeved black T-shirt and his hair was still damp from his shower. Nicholas wanted to hang up the phone and pick up where they had left off the night before, but that wasn’t an option for a host of reasons. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes at the most.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Ending the call, he shoved the phone back into his pocket, watching as Lucas poured himself a cup of coffee. “Problem?” “The usual shit. Mark and Barbara Delray are fighting again and she’s having him arrested.” “The usual indeed.” Lucas smiled. “Are you running late?” He shook his head, leaning against the counter, as Nicholas had. “Sasha is opening today.” “Ah. And what color hair does the lovely Sasha have this week?” “Neon orange. I’m actually surprised you haven’t gotten calls about her blinding drivers when she walks down the street.” Nicholas laughed, but he knew Lucas cared a great deal for the young woman who had worked for him for the past two years. At twenty-two, Sasha was a transplant from New York and one of a kind in Cedar Point with her ever-changing hair, countless tattoos, and nose ring. Of course she was bright, wonderful with the customers, and loyal to Lucas and for that last fact alone, Nicholas admired her. “Listen, Nic, I….”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Before you say anything, Luc, there’s something I need to do.” Crossing the distance between them in two easy strides, Nicholas plucked the coffee cup from Lucas’s hands and set it on the counter. “Nic.” “Good morning, Lucas.” Gathering the other man into his arms, Nicholas claimed his lips, locking his arms around Lucas’s waist as his tongue pushed eagerly into his warm, welcoming mouth. He tasted like coffee and mint toothpaste but there was something else there, something sweet and seductive that was all Lucas and Nicholas loved it. Pulling back from the kiss, he smiled at the obvious desire in Lucas’s eyes. “You know, I have all sorts of fantasies about you, Luc.” “We should….” “My favorite involves you and me in my office, with me bending you over my desk and sinking so deep inside you, it’s near impossible to tell where I end and you begin.” He smiled, watching as Lucas closed his eyes, leaning against him. Nicholas slipped his hands to Lucas’s ass and squeezed, drawing a gasp. “Nic, we can’t do this.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Ah, but we’re already doing it.” Lucas opened his eyes. “The way you look at me….” The whispered words faded, but Nicholas wasn’t about to leave it at that. “The way I look at you…what?” “The way you look at me is…. God, I love the way you look at me and it might be selfish, but I don’t want that to stop, Nic.” “Luc….” “And I know if you see me, it will.” “You don’t know that. I love you and….” He shook his head. “I’m not him.” Ridge “Fucking” Dallas, the bastard Lucas had been dating when he was attacked. Nicholas had never met the man, but he hated him with a passion. If I ever see him face-to-face, I’m knocking his teeth down his throat. He felt Lucas pull away emotionally, even before he stepped from Nicholas’s arms and Nicholas let go of him, because he didn’t want him to feel cornered or pressured. “I know you’re not him. You’re a better man than Ridge could ever hope to be.” “But I still get judged by what he did.” “I’m not judging you, Nic. I’m being realistic.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “No, you’re acting out of fear, Luc, and I understand that, but I’m not giving up because I love you and I know we can be happy together if you will give us a real chance.”

SIX hours after his release, Riley Miller was in Cedar Point, his dark hair cut and dyed blond but still concealed beneath a baseball cap while dark sunglasses covered his eyes. The driver’s license in his wallet listed his name as Kip Coleson. He had a thousand dollars in his pocket, all that was left of the two grand his mother had sent to him via his lawyer. Five hundred had gone for the battered used car and another five for his fake driver’s license and a fake social security number. It was money well-spent, in Riley’s mind, as he sat parked across the street from The Haven, the bookstore Lucas Keifer owned. He had yet to see the man he had come here to kill, but he had seen two uniformed police officers and a young girl with hideous orange hair moving around inside, dealing with a host of customers. It seemed Lucas had built a nice little life for himself, but it would end soon. But not before we have some serious fun. He shifted in the driver’s seat, feeling his cock swell, just thinking about what he had in mind for the pretty blond. He

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis had spent years dreaming about this and he intended to enjoy it. After ten years in hell, he was ready to make those dreams come true and he wasn’t going to do anything that Lucas didn’t deserve for leading him on and lying to him. He had been ready to give his heart to Lucas, but Lucas had thrown it back in his face. He just thinks he suffered, but he has no idea what’s coming. No one could use and lie to people the way Lucas did and get away with it. Riley had already made up his mind that anyone who stood between him and Lucas would die along with him. That thought in mind, he sat up further, watching with surprised delight as Lucas suddenly stepped outside the bookstore. He looked good, Riley realized. Damn good. His blond hair looked golden in the sunlight. Won’t be so pretty when it’s splattered with blood. Smirking, he watched as Lucas stood on the sidewalk, looking up and down the street, but Riley was certain he didn’t notice him behind his darkly tinted windows. Just as Lucas turned to walk back inside his business, both he and Riley heard someone calling his name. Tensing, Riley watched a tall man with thick black hair jog quickly across the street, to stand beside Lucas.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis A fucking cop! He’s talking to a fucking cop! Hands gripping the steering wheel, Riley felt the anger boiling, because just looking at the way the man reached out and gently touched Lucas’s shoulder told Riley he knew Lucas intimately. And he could sense that Lucas trusted him, even as he shook his head at something the man said, only to finally sigh and nod. Son of a bitch! Someone wants him? He has someone! How can he? He’s mine! Driven by pure rage, Riley cranked the car, knowing he had to send a message to Lucas here and now, and he knew just how to do it.

HEARING the unmistakable voice calling his name, Lucas turned to watch Nicholas jogging across the street and couldn’t help but smile. He was fairly certain he had never seen anything as sexy as Nicholas in uniform. Well, he was pretty damn sexy last night, with his lips wrapped around my cock. Annoyed with himself for recalling that image and annoyed with the way he grew instantly hard at the memory, Lucas cursed himself and Nicholas. He was trying damn hard to do the right thing for both of them, but it seemed

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Nicholas wanted to fight him on that every step of the way. Lucas was really beginning to wonder how much longer he could resist what Nicholas was offering. How he had resisted for five years, he wasn’t sure. Use common sense, Luc. Trying to hold that thought in mind, he still felt his heart race when Nicholas reached his side. He looked up into vivid green eyes that were filled with worry, but beyond the worry, Lucas could clearly see how much Nicholas loved him. “How’s it going?” “Great. Busy day, but that’s a good thing.” “You know what I mean, Luc.” Nicholas lowered his voice. “Seen anything unusual?” “Aside from Sasha’s hair?” “Luc….” “Nothing unusual, Nic. I swear. And considering how your deputies keep stopping in….” In answer, Nicholas shrugged casually and, clearly, unapologetically. “The guys like to read.” “Right.” “Come on, darlin’. You know I plan on keeping an eye on you.” He took a small step closer and Lucas felt his heart

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis kick in his chest again. “If given a chance, I’d like to be keeping a hand, or better yet, both hands on you.” “Nic….” “I’ll be at your place again tonight.” Lucas shook his head. “No. I don’t think that’s necessary.” “I do.” “I know you’re worried and I appreciate that, but there’s a good chance Miller won’t come after me, so you don’t have to babysit me.” “I’m not babysitting you. And tell me the truth, Luc. Do you really believe he won’t make a move against you?” He wanted to say no, that he didn’t believe he might be in danger, but he couldn’t, and about this, he couldn’t bring himself to lie to Nicholas. “I think there’s a chance he will come after me. He said he would.” Nicholas frowned at that. “When did he say that?” “A year after he was put in prison, he sent a letter to me, saying if he ever got out, he would make me pay.” He looked away from Nicholas, wondering why he had shared that when he knew damn good and well that the information would only support Nicholas’s concerns. “I gave the letter to the DA and he made certain Miller couldn’t contact me again.” But the impression had still been made and now, the

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis fear was alive again. Lucas hated that, hated feeling vulnerable, but he struggled not to show it as Nicholas touched his shoulder and Lucas looked at him again. If Nicholas had chosen that moment to pull him into his arms, Lucas wouldn’t have been able to resist him, standing in the middle of town or not. “He won’t get to you, Luc.” “You don’t have to….” “I want to, because I love you, and I won’t let that bastard take you away from me.” Half-smiling, Lucas shook his head. “Sasha is already dying for details after seeing you leave my place this morning.” “Did you tell her about the incredible blow job?” “No, I didn’t. “Not the kind to kiss and tell?” Nicholas grinned and Lucas had to smile back. “Not really. Besides, Sasha has an active imagination, so she can fill in the blanks for herself.” Nicholas leaned close and Lucas shivered at the feel of warm breath against his neck. “You like chocolate, don’t you, Luc?” “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Good.” “Why do you ask?” Desire fluttered in his stomach as Nicholas pulled back and Lucas wanted to whimper. “You’ll see. Tonight.” “Nic….” “Got to run, gorgeous.” Shaking his head, Lucas smiled as Nicholas turned, glancing over his shoulder with a quick wave as he crossed the read. I love you, Nic. He nearly called out the words, but stopped himself as a movement to his left caught his attention. He saw an unfamiliar brown car suddenly speeding down the street and panic seized him, as he realized the car seemed to be aiming itself at Nicholas. “Nic! Watch out!” Heart falling to his stomach, Lucas watched as Nicholas saw the car just in time to make a wild dive to the other side of the narrow street, landing hard on the sidewalk as the car sped on by and turned left at the first side road it came to. Rushing across the street, Lucas dropped to his knees at Nicholas’s side. “Nic? Nic, can you hear me? Are you okay?”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Wincing as he pushed himself so he could at least sit up, Lucas could see he had a bleeding gash on the side of his head and he favored his right arm. “I’m okay. Nothing serious.” The words were slurred and sluggish and Lucas felt something inside of him shatter, when Nicholas slumped forward, unconscious in his arms.

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Chapter Four

THREE hours later Nicholas was sitting in a hospital bed, feeling woozy, but assured by the doctor on call that he would be fine. He had a mild concussion, the cut along his hairline required seven stitches, and the fall had dislocated his shoulder, but the doctor had easily reset it. He was, according to the doctor, lucky, but he didn’t need anyone to tell him as much, though it was obvious to him that Lucas was still on edge as he paced the length of the hospital room. The car that had nearly hit him had already been found, abandoned just outside of town. Inside the car they found a letter, written to Riley Miller by a former cellmate, and it was obvious from the nature of the letter that Miller had paid the man to find information on Lucas. And he had. He knew where Lucas lived and about the business he ran, and now, there was no question that he intended to come after Lucas.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Luc, sit down. Please. I’m fine.” “You’re lucky. You could have….” He paused at the foot of the bed, words fading, but Nicholas knew what he was thinking. “You saved my life.” “It’s because of me your life is in danger.” Nicholas sighed and shook his head, then winced and Lucas noticed it. “Are you in pain? Should I call for the nurse?” “Any pain is mild, and no, you shouldn’t call for the nurse. You should come over here and sit down so I can hold your hand and tell you I love you.” Smiling as Lucas did as he asked, Nicholas reached for his hand and held it. “I love you, Luc.” “I love you too, Nic.” The words came so easily from him that Nicholas had to smile again, as he lifted Lucas’s hand to his lips and kissed it. He had to swallow past the lump of emotions in his throat. Even if he knew what Lucas felt for him, hearing him actually say it never failed to touch his heart and soul and he prayed a day would come when Lucas would say those words often and freely. “But regardless of what I feel….”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “We aren’t doing this thing, where you push me away.” “It’s easier to push than to watch you leave.” Lucas whispered and Nicholas ached inside. “Nothing could make me leave, Luc. Let me in and find that out.” “It’s not that easy.” Lucas looked down at their locked hands and Nicholas wanted nothing more than to pull him into his arms and kiss him. He knew when Lucas felt exposed or vulnerable his first reaction was to turn and run, but the fact that he was still here, still at his side, told Nicholas that maybe, just maybe, Lucas was tired of running. “Do you know where Ridge is now?” Obviously surprised by the question, Lucas looked up. “What?” “I was just wondering if you knew where to find him.” “Why would you want to find him?” “Well, I’d like to beat the shit out of him for hurting you, and when I’m done beating him, I plan on telling him that he never deserved you.” That earned him a half-smile. “Nic….” “I really hate the guy. I hate that what he did makes it so hard for you to trust me.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “He couldn’t handle my recovery and what he knew I would look like.” “Which means he’s a self-centered, superficial asshole.” “I know you think I punish you for what he did, Nic, but that isn’t the case. I mean, it hurt, when Ridge walked away like he did, but I didn’t feel for Ridge what I feel for you, so losing him….” He shook his head. “That pain wouldn’t compare to the pain I would feel if you finally saw me and realized you can’t stand what I look like.” “Luc….” “I see the love in your eyes, and I see how much you want me, and I am terrified that if you see my scars, you will find them repulsive and that will be it, and the thing is, if you did find them repulsive I wouldn’t be able to blame you.” “Why are you so sure I would be repulsed?” “Because I am,” he answered simply and honestly. “Why?” “Because they’re hideous.” Nicholas bit the inside of his lip, knowing he was about to push, but Lucas was being very open at the moment and it seemed this might be a good time to really get to the heart of a few issues once and for all because Lucas needed to do that. He’s held too much inside for too long. He has to let it out.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Is it that, or do you hate them because they remind you of what happened?” “I don’t need anything to remind me of what happened,” he snapped. “Luc….” “But yeah. It’s a physical reminder. And I can’t escape it.” “And you think if I see the scars, I’ll just see you as a victim?” “Wouldn’t you?” “No. Never. God, Luc, you aren’t a victim. You’re a survivor.” He shook his head. “I’m not….” “You faced nothing short of hell, baby. And you survived it. I thank God for that, and you want to know something else? I admire you for picking up the pieces and putting your life back together and I,” he reached out, knuckles caressing Lucas’s cheek, “I love you, Luc, and seeing your scars won’t change that. Even if it takes me another five years, another fifty years, I will prove that to you and I will make you realize that we are meant to be together.” He watched Lucas drop his eyes to their still-locked hands and swallow hard. “That’s really a big promise there.” “I’m good at keeping my promises.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “I don’t doubt that.” “For instance, I asked you earlier if you liked chocolate.” Lucas’s eyes came back to his, wide and curious. “You did ask that.” “Well, I had a reason.” “What was that?” “Oh, I plan to cover every inch of you with chocolate sauce and slowly take my time licking it off.” Just mentally painting the image had his cock throbbing and he watched as a slight gasp escaped Lucas’s parted lips. “You like the idea of that, don’t you? My tongue licking you slowly, teasingly, until I have you begging for more, begging me to fuck you.” He could see color rising to Lucas’s cheeks and his breath hitched. Nicholas knew he was being just a little cruel, considering he currently wasn’t in any position to follow through with his intentions. Soon. Damn soon. He needs it and so do I. The hand caressing Lucas’s cheek slipped behind his neck to play with his hair and Lucas moaned at the touch. “I have all sorts of fantasies about you and me, baby, and all sorts of games I want to play.” “You do?” “I’ll tell you more of them. Later. Maybe when I can do something about them.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Lucas nodded, watching him closely for a moment, before he stood suddenly and crossed the room, where he locked the door. “Luc, what are you doing?” “Returning a favor.” Nicholas frowned, not certain what that meant, as Lucas returned to the bed. But before he could ask, Lucas leaned down and teasingly kissed him. Nicholas instantly reached to tangle a hand in the silky blond hair. It was the first time Lucas had ever initiated a kiss and it was incredible. When he pulled back, he smiled and Nicholas licked his lips, wanting to pull Lucas back to him, but Lucas stepped back slightly. “Luc….” “It’s been a while, so I might not be as good at this as you.” Nicholas’s eyes widened as Lucas reached for the covers and pulled them back and Nicholas felt his heart kick against his chest. “You…you don’t have to do this. I mean, I want you to. God, I want you to, but you….” “Don’t have to.” Lucas smiled. “But I want to. If that’s okay with you.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Are you kidding? Of course it’s okay.” “Good to know.” Lucas smiled again, slowly, sensually, and Nicholas wondered if a person could come just watching the man he loved smile. Shifting a little, he watched as Lucas crawled onto the bed, straddling his legs, careful hands reaching for the hem of the barely-there, paper-thin hospital gown. “As you said last night, there it is.” Biting back a groan as his rigid cock was revealed, he focused on Lucas, watching Lucas’s reactions, becoming more and more aroused as he did. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He briefly wondered if it was just a dream, a wonderfully vivid dream, and he prayed with all his might that it wasn’t. He’s about to touch me. Finally. “Luc….” “No talking. Just enjoy this. I know I will.” Those words alone were nearly his undoing and he couldn’t bite back his strangled cry as Lucas leaned down and slowly ran his tongue along the base of Nicholas’s straining shaft. Nicholas tangled one hand in the sheets. One touch, and he was ready to fall apart.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Clearly sensing the impact his touch had, Lucas moved one hand to cup Nicholas’s balls while slowly sliding the length of Nicholas’s cock into his mouth. Surrounded by warm, wet heat, feeling Lucas’s tongue began to lick and swirl as he slid his lips up and down, sucking and licking, Nicholas clenched his eyes shut, wanting the moment to last, but it had been so long since he had been touched by anyone other than himself. And this was Lucas. His Lucas was touching him, sucking him off. “Luc…. Oh, Luc, I’m…come….” Head thrown back, he cried out as his body convulsed in pleasure and he spilled into Lucas’s incredible mouth. Body humming, it was several minutes before he came back to himself, to realize Lucas had pulled the gown back into place, but still straddled him, red lips curved into a smile. “Christ….” “Enjoy that?” “Enjoy is one word for it.” Lucas slipped from the bed and crossed the room to unlock the door, before moving back to the side of the bed. “I’ve never had a fantasy about us in a hospital bed, but damn….” He shook his head with a grin.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Yeah, well, you’ve been in a hospital bed too many times during the past six months, so don’t start developing some strange fetish.” “Okay, forget hospital beds, love. Any bed will do.” “Nic.” He knew Lucas was starting to think too much, but he was determined to stop him before he could do one of his emotional disappearing acts. “For now, this bed is big enough for two, so what’s say you curl up beside me and we take a nice little nap.” “I guess I could do that.” “Good.” Carefully scooting over, he made room for Lucas, who stretched out beside him, and Nicholas leaned in for a quick kiss. “I love you, Luc,” he whispered, falling into beautiful blue eyes as Lucas smiled at him. “I love you, too, Nic. I always have.” Tugging Lucas closer, Nicholas held him tight, swearing to himself that, no matter what, come hell or high water he wouldn’t ever let go.

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Chapter Five

HE couldn’t believe he had been so damn stupid, trying to kill the fucking cop in broad daylight, with witnesses milling around. After all his careful, organized planning, he had put himself and everything at risk because he hadn’t been able to control his emotions. Seeing Lucas with another man had been too much and it really wasn’t fair. Lucas was supposed to be alone; Lucas wasn’t supposed to be happy. Bastard will pay for that. Wait and see. I’ll kill his lover in front of him after I make him watch me make Lucas mine again. Somewhat comforted by the thought, he sat alone in the dark, not willing to turn on the lights in the small hunting shack he had broken into. He didn’t want to do anything to draw attention to his hideout while he laid low for a bit and plotted his next move. He knew he was lucky he had found a place that offered food and no nosy neighbors. He really

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis didn’t want to kill anyone but Lucas and his stupid lover, but if anyone forced his hand, Riley was willing to end more lives. Sitting on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket he had found to ward off the chill, he tried to calm himself, tried to reason that all was not lost. He would just sit tight for a day or two and then make his move. Lucas will be expecting me now, but that’s okay. He’ll think his cop boyfriend will keep him all safe, but I’ll show him. I’ll show both of them. But first, a smile came to him and he decided maybe he hadn’t messed up so bad after all. Maybe he could play a little cat-and-mouse game with Lucas, just to add to his torment, keep him on edge and afraid. Thinking about the prepaid cell phone he had stolen, Riley decided to do just that. Tomorrow, I’ll place a little call to Lucas, just to say hello and ask how his lover boy is doing. Stretching out, he closed his eyes, certain his dreams would be deliciously sweet.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “LUC, you don’t have to babysit me.” “Funny, but I recall saying something similar to you recently.” Nicholas scowled, but Lucas laughed as he stood beside the sofa in his apartment, looking Nicholas over carefully, wondering if the doctors had released him a little too soon. Maybe another day in the hospital would have been a good idea. He did have a concussion, after all, and the area around the bandaged gash on his forehead was discolored, but he insisted his shoulder didn’t hurt that much and the doctor assured Lucas there would be no lasting damage. “Does Sasha mind running everything herself today?” Nicholas asked, pulling Lucas from his concerns, and he smiled. “Are you kidding? She told me to get up here, lock the door, and rock the bed.” “You know, I love the way that girl thinks.” Lucas rolled his eyes. “Please, don’t encourage her.” “How about I encourage you instead?” He patted the spot beside him on the sofa. “Come on. Sit down with me. I promise, I won’t bite. Unless, of course, you want me to, in which case, all you have to do is say the word.” “Nic.” “I’m teasing. No pushing, I swear it.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “I know. I trust you.” At that, Nicholas held out a hand and Lucas accepted it, allowing Nicholas to pull him down beside him, wrapping an arm gently around his shoulder. “This okay?” He turned his head, nuzzling the side of Lucas’s neck as he asked and Lucas moaned and nodded. “Really okay.” “Good.” Another moan escaped him when Nicholas began teasingly kissing his neck and Lucas dropped his head, allowing more access as his eyes closed. Trying to form a rational thought around the pleasure, he placed his hand, palm open, on Nicholas’s muscular thigh, his fingers gripping when Nicholas nipped at his ear. “Nic, I…I’ve been…been thinking….” “And there’s the problem, babe. You think way too much.” “I’m being serious.” “So am I.” Nicholas began trailing light kisses downward toward his collarbone and Lucas shifted, the pressure against his jeans becoming decidedly uncomfortable. “I’m trying to tell you I thought about what you said last night.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Slowly, Nicholas lifted his head to look at him and Lucas smiled when their eyes met. “You said I should let you in, give you a chance to prove you won’t walk away.” He drew in a breath. He felt like he was walking a tightrope with no net below him and if he fell, there was no chance he would survive, but he still had to take the risk because Nicholas was well worth it. He was only sorry it had taken him so damn long to realize that. “Luc, what are you saying?” “I’m saying I love you, Nic, and I want to be with you. I have to admit, I’m scared to death, but I can’t ignore this any longer and I don’t want to ignore it.” “You mean it? You’re ready to try?” Lucas smiled slowly, nodding. “I can’t say I won’t freak out from time to time….” “We can deal with that. If you’re willing to give us a real chance.” “I am. And I’m sorry I’ve made this so hard on you, Nic.” Shaking his head, Nicholas claimed his lips in a hungry, almost desperate kiss that Lucas melted into. When Nicholas pulled him even closer, Lucas took the hint, shifting until he was straddling Nicholas’s lap, their bodies eagerly pressed together.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Moaning as Nicholas’s tongue slipped into his mouth, Lucas tangled both hands in thick black hair, desperate for more, aching to be closer. I want this. I want it so much I can’t pretend anymore. A strangled gasp escaped him as the kiss broke and Nicholas began kissing down his neck as his hands slipped to Lucas’s ass, pushing him down and grinding their straining erections through the thick denim. He could feel heat flooding through him; every nerve ending was alive and he wanted more. He wanted to touch Nicholas in all the ways he had dreamed about for years now, but even as that thought filled his mind, the shrill ringing of the phone demanded his attention. “Ignore it,” Nicholas advised, feasting on his neck, and Lucas sighed. “I can’t. Could be Sasha.” Pulling away slightly, but making no move to remove himself from Nicholas’s lap, Lucas reached for the phone, answering it on the fifth ring. “Hello?” “Hello, Lucas.” Any warmth he had felt seconds earlier faded and icy cold settled over him, seemingly freezing his blood at the sound of the voice that still haunted his nightmares. “Riley….”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Without realizing it, he slipped from Nicholas to sit on the sofa, still close to him, hand gripping the phone as Nicholas came quickly alert. “You seem surprised to hear from me, Lucas. You knew I was in town. I made that clear.” “Riley, you have to stop this.” “How’s your boyfriend? Didn’t hurt him too badly, did I?” “What…what do you want?” He closed his eyes, sick to his stomach, mind filled with memories that were dark and horrifying. “What do I want? What do you think I want?” “Riley….” “I want you dead, you son of a bitch. I want you to pay for what you did to me!” Jumping slightly when Nicholas placed a hand on his back, Lucas opened his eyes, allowing Nicholas to pull the phone away from his ear slightly, so he could also hear what Riley was saying. “You think you suffered last time? Just what ’til you see what I’ve got in store for you.” “Listen to me, Riley. Don’t do this. Don’t waste a second chance….” “Fuck you! Don’t talk down to me or act like you care! You don’t care!”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Lucas closed his eyes, trying to remain calm, knowing he couldn’t panic, that it wouldn’t do anyone any good. “I’ve been waiting for ten years to finish what I started.” “Please….” “Well, I will. Damn soon. And no one can stop me, not even your pretty boyfriend.” “Riley, leave everyone else out of this.” “Honestly, I can’t believe you managed to land anyone, Lucas. Not looking like you do now.” The words sliced into him, just as Riley had known they would, and Lucas felt sick, as the phone was pulled from his hand. “You don’t want to play this game, you bastard. If you come after him, I will be there, and trust me when I tell you I will kill you before I allow you to hurt him.” Watching Nicholas hang up the phone, Lucas said nothing. He couldn’t form a thought. He couldn’t do anything, it seemed, but remember what Riley had said. “Honestly, I can’t believe you managed to land anyone, Lucas. Not looking like you do now.” “Nic….” Nicholas knelt down in front of him, taking Lucas’s hands into his.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Don’t. Don’t you dare let that bastard do this. I know what you’re thinking, Luc, and there isn’t a chance in hell that I’m gonna just let you slip away from me now.” Eyes closing again, Lucas didn’t resist when Nicholas pulled him into his arms. He simply let himself melt into the warmth and comfort of the embrace, burying his face against Nicholas’s neck and holding on tight.

WITHIN two hours, a tap was placed on Lucas’s phone and Nicholas had a uniformed officer inside the bookstore. As difficult as it was, Nicholas forced himself to think like a professional, to focus on catching Riley rather than his desire to take Lucas and get the hell out of town. He had thought of a dozen places they could go, places where Riley would never think to look for them, but Nicholas knew Lucas would never agree to run. But what he would do had Nicholas worried. In the time since the call, Lucas had hardly spoken, would hardly look at him, and Nicholas knew what was happening. Lucas was pulling away from him and he hated it. Lucas had finally told him he loved him, finally admitted he wanted them to be together, to work at having a future, but one phone call from Riley had shattered that. I won’t let go now. We’re too close to what we want.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Finishing his conversation with the deputy he had assigned to watch the store, Nicholas went back upstairs to the apartment and let himself inside. “Luc?” “I’m in the bedroom.” Closing and locking the door, he walked into the bedroom to find Lucas sitting on the bed, arms resting on his knees as he stared at the floor. “I have someone watching downstairs and I’ve got an officer to stand outside of Sasha’s place tonight, just to be on the safe side.” “Thanks.” “You don’t have to thank me, Luc.” Silence settled between them and Nicholas waited half a second before crossing the room to sit down beside Lucas on the bed. He didn’t reach out to touch him, as much as he wanted to. He sensed the need Lucas had for physical space and, for the moment, Nicholas was willing to allow him that, but he wasn’t going to be coolly pushed away. Never again, and certainly not because Riley Miller was trying to undermine Lucas. That bastard had better pray it’s one of my deputies and not me who finds him. “He’s going to come after me, Nic.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Luc.” “And if you’re in his way, he will kill you.” “He’s not going to kill me or you,” Nicholas insisted, but Lucas shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m so stupid.” “Stupid? Luc, you are anything but stupid.” “You don’t understand.” He looked at Nicholas, tangled emotions in his eyes. “When it became obvious that Riley had some sort of fixation on me, I offered to help his mother get him the help he really needed, but she refused.” “That’s on her. Not you.” “I should have insisted. At the very least I should have taken it more seriously.” “Luc….” “I didn’t consider him a danger, Nic. I didn’t think I had to be afraid.” Standing, he moved to the dresser, bracing his hands against it, his back to Nicholas, who bit his lip, holding back his need to reassure Lucas again, sensing that something was close to the surface, something Lucas needed to get out. “I thought he was a confused kid. I didn’t think he would try and hurt me. I didn’t see how sick he really was until it was too late and there was nothing I could do to stop him, to keep him from doing whatever in the hell he wanted to do.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “I was completely powerless and…he was insane and I knew it then. I knew I should have seen it before, but I didn’t and because I didn’t, I nearly died.” Standing, Nicholas slowly crossed the room, standing behind Lucas but not touching him. “Luc, it wasn’t your fault.” “Don’t. Please, don’t say that. Everyone says that.” “Because it’s true,” Nicholas whispered. “Don’t take the blame for what Riley did onto yourself because you don’t deserve it. He’s responsible for his sins.” “I should have done more.” “You did what you could.” Lucas shook his head again. “If I had done more….” “What-if games will never get you anywhere.” “Nic.” “I can’t change what happened to you. If I could, I would. I would do anything to spare you the pain you suffered.” Slowly, Lucas turned and looked at him. “I shouldn’t throw all of this at you.” “I love you, Luc. And I’m here. If you need to talk, I’ll listen.” “Will you just…just be here, Nic? I have no right to ask, but I need you.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Stepping closer, he pulled Lucas into his arms, holding him, grateful that Lucas was allowing him this close and even more grateful that Lucas seemed willing to lean on him. “You can ask me for anything, Luc, and I will give it to you, because I love you, and being here for you means more to me than you will ever know.”

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Chapter Six

THE next morning, Lucas assured Nicholas he would be fine while Nicholas went to his office and Lucas went downstairs to the bookstore. He trusted Sasha completely to run the place, but he had some accounting work to handle and some ordering that needed to be done. And he needed the distraction. He felt on edge, knowing just how close Riley had come to seriously hurting Nicholas. He had no doubt the man was still out there, waiting for a chance to come after him and finish what he had started ten years ago. Nicholas felt confident in the security measures he had in place and Lucas trusted him, but he had a bad feeling, one he couldn’t shake. In the end, he knew it would come down to him and Riley and maybe it was best that way. As long as no one else gets hurt, I don’t care what happens to me.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis He knew, of course, that if something happened to him, Nicholas wouldn’t handle it well. For all his attempts to ignore it and push Nicholas away, Lucas couldn’t deny that the other man truly loved him and Lucas loved him just as much in return. He had for a long time now and he couldn’t go on pretending otherwise. Which left him facing his greatest fear. Allowing Nicholas to see him. He still wasn’t certain he could; the idea still terrified him, despite Nicholas’s reassurance that he didn’t care about the scars. Nicholas seemed to believe his feelings wouldn’t change, but Lucas wasn’t so sure. Lost in his thoughts, he had forgotten the task at hand— reviewing the inventory—until Sasha leaned over the counter, glancing at what he had accomplished. Today, she had her orange hair, now highlighted with red, pulled into pigtails, and her green-and-blue leopardprint dress tightly hugged her figure. Anyone else would look ridiculous, but Sasha had a flair all her own. “Looks like you’re getting a lot done there, Boss.” “I’m taking my time, to avoid mistakes.” She rolled her brown eyes. “Please. You were doing that broody thing.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Broody thing? I don’t brood.” “Please. You totally brood.” She grinned. “I bet I know what you’re being broody about.” “And what might that be?” he asked, despite knowing just what she would say. “Sheriff Tall, Dark, and Handsome.” Despite himself, Lucas laughed. “I’m sure Nicholas would love to know you call him that.” “He doesn’t need me to. He has to know he’s hot. I mean, you know he’s hot, right?” “Sasha….” “I know. I know. You don’t share the good stuff, which sucks.” She leaned closer. “Just tell me if it’s good. It is, right? I mean, how can it not be!” “Nic and I are….” “If you say the two of you are just friends, I swear I will scream so loud the windows shatter.” Shaking his head, Lucas sighed. “Saying that Nic and I are just friends is…well, I know he and I are a lot more than that.” Sasha clapped her hands. “Yes! Finally. Welcome back from the World of Denial.” “It’s still a complicated situation, Sasha.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Lucas, it can’t be that complicated. I mean, you are crazy for him and he’s crazy for you.” “And you know I have some…issues.” She didn’t know everything, but she knew enough. “Can I be honest with you?” Lucas raised an eyebrow, setting his inventory list aside. “When have you ever been anything but painfully, brutally honest?” “Don’t be a smartass. I’m serious.” “In that case, by all means, please be honest.” “You said you have issues and, you know, I’m sure you do, because we all have issues and yeah, some are a lot more complicated than others, but at the end of the day, everyone has something in their past that isn’t pleasant.” “Sasha….” “The thing is, you can go on living in the past, never letting yourself heal and move on, or you can accept what happened, painful as that might be, and then realize that you have a life here and now and you have something wonderful right in front of you.” She slapped a hand on the counter. “Not to get all cliché-sounding on you, but you have to take some risks in life or one day, you’re gonna realize that you stayed on the sidelines and watched everyone else do the living. And what’s the fun in that?”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “What if you’re trying to avoid getting your heart broken?” “That’s just it, Boss. At some point, we all get our hearts broken. Any time you put your heart on the line, there’s a chance it could get kicked around, but I don’t think you have to worry about that, when it comes to you and Nicholas.” “You can’t….” “Know that? I can’t predict the future. No one can. But I know something and I think you know it too, but here goes: Nicholas loves you and you love him and you need to take a risk on that, because I’m pretty sure it will be worth it.” She pushed away from the counter. “Of course, it’s up to you. I mean, you can push him away and maybe even offer up a good reason for doing it, but I’ve got to tell you, if you do, you’re a fool.” “Think so?” “I think so. And you know it. So get your head out of your ass and get Nicholas in it.” “Crude, Sasha.” Lucas laughed and she shrugged. “It comes natural.” She turned to go back to stocking shelves. “By the way, there’s a kick-ass copy of the Kama Sutra in the adult section.” Shaking his head, he ignored her laughter as she went back to work and he looked down at the inventory list, fairly certain he wouldn’t be getting much done today. He had too

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis much on his mind and Sasha had given him even more to think about. For all her unique style and unique way of expressing herself, she was right and Lucas knew it. She hadn’t come right out and called him a coward, but Lucas knew he was acting like one and that wasn’t fair to him and it certainly wasn’t fair to Nicholas. So what are you gonna do about it? There was only one obvious answer and that was to face his fear and get over it. “Hey, Sasha, can you handle things here?” “Of course.” She flashed a smile over her shoulder. “You want that book I mentioned?” “Thanks, but I already have a copy upstairs.” “Way to go, Boss!”

HE found an old radio in the cabin and, tuning it to the local station, he heard his name mentioned as part of a statewide manhunt. “…considered armed and dangerous, Miller is not to be approached. If you see him, please call the proper authorities. Miller has a history of violence and unstable behavior….”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Disgusted, he turned off the radio, blood boiling. He couldn’t believe they were saying he wasn’t stable, when nothing was further from the truth. He wasn’t insane or crazy. Sure, they had said that back when he was arrested. They said he and Lucas had never had a relationship, that it had all been inside his mind, but Riley knew better. Lucas had lied to him, led him on. He hadn’t imagined the promises Lucas had made to love him forever. It wasn’t some dream built up in his mind. Lucas knows; he knows what he did and I’ll make him admit it, before he dies. Looking around the darkening cabin, he sighed, knowing he couldn’t hold out here too much longer. It was too much like being back in prison and he hated that. After ten years, he wanted to be out and about in the world and soon, he would be. Once Lucas was dead, he’d head to Mexico or maybe to Canada and hang out there for a while, before finding someplace to settle. He could build a good life for himself once he settled unfinished business. Maybe he would even find someone to love, someone more deserving than Lucas had ever been. Smiling, Riley closed his eyes, thinking again about what he would do to Lucas and how good it would feel when he stood over the bastard’s lifeless body.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Don’t get too comfortable, Lucas. I’m coming for you real soon and it’s gonna be a blast.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis

Chapter Seven

BY the time Nicholas made it back to Lucas’s apartment, it was after five and he was ready to be alone with his lover. And yeah, Lucas is that. My lover. We’ve crossed a line and I won’t go back. Smiling to himself, he stepped into the apartment, instantly aware that soft music was playing and something smelled wonderful. “Luc?” “I’m in the kitchen.” Locking the door, he kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket before walking into the kitchen to find the small table set, decorated with burning candles with a bottle of wine waiting to be opened. Lucas was at the stove, with his back to him, and Nicholas smiled when he threw a glance over his shoulder with a smile that was open and genuine, not the least bit guarded or reserved. Nicholas couldn’t help but feel a burst of hope.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Open the wine and pour yourself a glass. Dinner will be ready soon.” “Dinner?” “Yeah. It’s a new recipe, so I hope it works.” “Smells delicious. What is it?” Lucas tossed him another smile. “Souvlaki.” “You made souvlaki?” “I did. And I hope I did it right.” Shaking his head, he moved closer, looking over Lucas’s shoulder. “You know, if I didn’t already love you, I would now.” “In that case, you’re really gonna adore me when you find out what we’re having for dessert.” “Really? What would that be?” “Each other.” Lucas turned, smiling up at him and Nicholas felt his mouth go dry as he took a step back, allowing his eyes to feast on the sight before him. Fresh from a shower, his hair was still damp, his jeans unfastened, and he had left his shirt completely unbuttoned, allowing Nicholas to see his chest for the first time. It was incredible: well-defined, the muscles beautiful. He could see his nipples and the urge to latch his lips onto them was just

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis about impossible to resist as all thoughts of food fled from his mind. He knew Lucas had sensed the direction his thoughts had taken when their eyes locked again and Lucas smiled. “You okay, Nic?” Nodding, he swallowed twice, to find his voice. “I’m good. Just….” “Surprised?” “A little. I mean, it’s a great surprise, but I just wasn’t expecting….” He waved a hand at Lucas, who shrugged. “I had a conversation with Sasha today and she said a lot of stuff that made sense.” “Sasha?” “I know.” Lucas stepped closer, sliding his hands up Nicholas’s chest. “I won’t go into all of the details, but one thing she said really caught my attention.” “And what was that?” “She said I needed to get my head out of my ass. And get you in it.” “Remind me to get Sasha something really great for her birthday.” Lucas laughed, but the sound was cut off when Nicholas caught him in his arms, claiming his lips, holding nothing back and knowing it was okay not to, as Lucas tangled a

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis hand in his hair while using the other hand to grip his shoulder. His tongue was quick and eager, dancing. Nicholas felt nearly overwhelmed with desire. This was his dream come true as he turned them, pressing Lucas against the counter and sliding a thigh between Lucas’s legs. Feeling his lover’s erection straining against his jeans, Nicholas moaned, pulling his lips from Lucas’s and looking into the blue eyes he loved. “Dinner….” Lucas glanced at the stove and Nicholas nodded. “It can wait, if you like.” “Are you suggesting we have dessert first?” “Considering I’ve been waiting for five years for this dessert….” His hands slipped to Lucas’s ass and he squeezed hard, watching fresh desire flare in Lucas’s eyes. “What do you say?” Grinding against him, Nicholas realized he wasn’t playing fair, but he didn’t care in the least as Lucas grinned. “Let me turn off the stove.” Reluctantly, Nicholas released his hold long enough to allow Lucas to turn off the burner and set their dinner aside before grabbing the bottle of wine off the table. “Well, what are we waiting for?” Lucas slipped past him and Nicholas followed, unbuttoning his shirt and shedding it along the way, wanting as few barriers between him and Lucas as possible.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis God, let this be real. Please. Please don’t let this be another dream. Closing the door as they stepped into the room, Nicholas leaned against it, watching as Lucas set the wine on the nightstand. “Why are you all the way over there, Nic?” “I’m just taking a moment to make sure this is real.” “Real?” “Not a dream. Because if it’s a dream, I kinda never want to wake up.” Lucas shook his head. “It’s not a dream, but I do want to tell you I’m sorry.” “For what?” “I made this,” he waved a hand between them, “a lot more difficult than I should have and for that, I’m sorry. I built up so many walls, trying to protect myself, that I couldn’t see those walls did more harm than good, because they kept you out.” “Luc….” “I put you through hell and you didn’t deserve it, Nic.” “I don’t need an apology, because I know why you built those walls and I’m just glad you’ve decided to let me in.” “I really do love you.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Nicholas smiled, pushing away from the door. “I happen to love you, too. Very much.” Reaching Lucas, he placed his hands on his shoulders. “Look, the last thing I want to do is bring up bad memories but I just want you to know, you set the pace for this and if I do something that makes you uneasy or uncomfortable, tell me and I’ll stop.” “And if you do something I like?” Lucas smiled. “By all means, tell me, baby, and I won’t dare stop.” “Nic.” “But I mean it. I don’t want to hurt you.” “You never could.” Lucas lifted a hand, stroking his cheek, and Nicholas leaned into the touch, knowing he would never tire of feeling Lucas touch him, even in the most innocent ways. “I want you to know I trust you. It kinda goes hand in hand with loving you.” He swallowed again, this time to push back the emotions that made his chest and throat feel tight and tears burn his eyes. “I know it’s been a while….” “It’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone but….” Still standing close to Nicholas, he opened the top drawer of his nightstand and smiled sheepishly. Nicholas’s eyes widened, seeing the flesh-colored vibrator. “Oh….” “I ordered it five years ago.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Lucas closed the drawer and Nicholas looked at him, smiling. “Five years ago? Are you saying that something significant happened five years ago that prompted you to make that purchase?” “Something significant did happen.” “And what would that be?” “The sexiest man I have ever seen moved to town.” “Really? ’Cause when I moved to town, I’m pretty sure the sexiest man I’ve ever seen was already living here and he stole my heart before I even realized what was happening.” Lucas smiled, wrapping his arms around Nicholas’s waist, leaning into him. Nicholas shifted, backing them toward the bed, losing himself in the love and desire he could see clearly in Lucas’s beautiful eyes. After five years he was about to have the man he loved completely open to him and more emotions than he could hope to process flooded him. This was a dream come true, but it was more than that even. He knew what it meant for Lucas to be ready for this, to be willing to knock down the last of his walls and put his heart in Nicholas’s hands. Nicholas saw that for the precious gift that it was and he wanted to tell Lucas all of that, but the words seemed to fail him now. Later, he assured himself, he would find the words again, but for now, he would concentrate on showing Lucas just how much he loved him, how much he would always, always love him.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Caught up in the moment, he was startled when suddenly he was pushed backward and he landed on the bed, flat on his back, blinking up at Lucas. “Luc….” “You have the most beautiful body.” “Thank you.” Lucas smiled, leaning over Nicholas, and with nimble fingers, he unfastened Nicholas’s belt and then set about unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. “You know, looking at you, I’m kinda amazed I was able to resist you for so long.” “I’m a little amazed myself,” Nicholas grinned. “Of course, I’ve come to my senses now.” Carefully, Lucas tugged the pants down Nicholas’s long legs, dropping them to the floor with another smile. “No underwear? I like that.” “Really?” “Totally. Easy access, you know.” Nicholas laughed. commando?”

“What

about

you?

You

going

“Of course. But you’ll see soon enough.” He really wanted to see now, but he held that back, as Lucas crawled onto the bed, straddling him, hands moving slowly down his chest, fingers brushing against his sensitive nipples. Nicholas gasped, back arching slightly.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Luc.” “Mind if I indulge a little?” “Please feel free to indulge all you like.” Again, Lucas smiled, a beautiful, carefree, loving smile that made Nicholas’s heart kick, as the blond leaned down and captured his lips in a slow, sensual kiss. He gladly opened his mouth, eagerly returning the kiss, his tongue clashing with Lucas’s in an erotic dance as old as time itself, but a dance that was still and always would be special to them. Kissing Lucas Keifer was heaven on earth, no single doubt about it. Lifting one hand, Nicholas tangled it in the thick blond hair, moaning as Lucas broke the kiss and trailed his lips slowly down Nicholas’s neck, kissing and licking and playfully nipping. He seemed very focused on his task, which appeared to be driving Nicholas insane with desire, and Nicholas was happy to allow Lucas whatever freedom he wanted. “You taste so good,” Lucas whispered, sliding a little lower. “God, Luc.” “Your nipples look so good, Nic. Do you mind if I play with them a bit?”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Not waiting for an answer, Lucas sucked the left nub into his mouth, licking and sucking until it was a rock hard pebble he happily scraped with his teeth and Nicholas arched again, hips bucking off the bed. He could feel the desire consuming him, rendering him breathless. It was the most amazing and intense feeling ever, unlike anything Nicholas had ever experienced before, and he prayed it wouldn’t end, even as Lucas turned his attention to the right nipple, subjecting it to the same sensual delight as the aching left. No dream, no daydream, no fantasy compared to the reality of Lucas taking such pleasure in pleasing him, but Nicholas wanted it to go both ways. Seeming to read his mind, Lucas slipped from him, off the bed, and Nicholas opened his eyes, pushing himself up on his elbows. Licking his lips in anticipation, he watched Lucas push his jeans down his hips and legs, kicking them aside, and Nicholas sucked in a breath, seeing the hard, straining cock jutting from its nest of golden blond curls. “You’re staring,” Lucas teased and Nicholas met his eyes with a smile. “More like admiring.” Lucas made a tsking sound. “Flattery will get you…well, anything you want.” Even as he said it, Nicholas could clearly see the tension settle on him, see his eyes darken a

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis little and he knew why. He knew what was about to happen was the one moment Lucas most dreaded. Admitting that he loved him, that he wanted him, that had been easy, compared to allowing Nicholas to see him, and Nicholas silently prayed that Lucas wouldn’t lose his nerve now, when they had come this far, made this much progress. “Luc….” “I’m sorry. I want this, Nic. I want you. I just….” He shook his head and Nicholas sat up, taking both of Lucas’s hands in his. “You don’t have to be scared with me, Luc.” “I know. I’ve just built up the dread so much in my mind….” “That it’s hard to just let it go,” Nicholas finished for him and he nodded. “I can understand that, but know I love you. Nothing will change that.” He lifted one hand, kissing it, wishing he knew what he could say to take away all the fear, but he suspected those words didn’t exist as Lucas sighed and let go of his hands. Don’t leave me now, Luc. Come on, baby. Nicholas noticed Lucas’s hands trembling slightly as he began pushing the shirt from his shoulders, slowly turning his back to Nicholas. He just wants to get it over with.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis The shirt fell to the floor and Nicholas let his eyes slowly travel up the back of Lucas’s legs, thighs, his wet-dreaminspiring ass, finally looking up to see what Lucas hated most. The scars on his back and down the back side of his left arm. The skin was puckered, discolored, some areas more so than others, but Nicholas didn’t find the sight hideous. It just made his heart ache to imagine the pain Lucas had suffered, and it made him even more determined to give him the love and happiness he deserved. Standing, he wrapped his arms around Lucas’s waist, dropping a kiss on his shoulder, and Lucas trembled slightly in his arms. “Anyone who would walk away from you is a complete fool.” “Nic….” “And I am many things, Luc, but a fool is not one of them, so I don’t intend to go anywhere and you had best accept that.” Lucas turned his head slightly, not looking at Nicholas, but close. “You mean that, don’t you?” “With all my heart.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Slowly, Lucas turned in his arms, eyes searching his, and Nicholas smiled when he shook his head in obvious disbelief. “All this time, I have been so afraid.” “And now?” “Now, I know I never have to be afraid again. Not with you.” “In that case….” Nicholas smiled. “In that case, maybe we should enjoy our dessert.” “I like that idea.” Easily pulling Lucas closer, Nicholas kissed him again, a long, deep kiss that had Lucas clinging to him as he sank back onto the bed with Lucas stretched out on top of him, every inch of their bodies in direct contact. And it felt astonishing. I won’t let him go again. Ever. I’ll fight anyone and anything to keep him in my arms. Rolling them to their sides, Nicholas slipped a hand between them, running it down the length of Lucas’s chest and stomach, finally reaching his cock and smiling when Lucas gasped at the feel of strong fingers wrapping around his sensitive flesh. “Nic….”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “I love the way you feel in my hand, Luc. I know I’m gonna love the way it feels to be inside you at long last.” Lucas arched into the touch, opening passion-heavy eyes. Nicholas savored the expression, savored the knowledge that he could do this to the man he loved, that he could make him tremble with need and desire. “Is that what you want, Luc? Do you want me inside you?” “God yes! Please!” Chuckling, Nicholas pushed Lucas onto his back, kissing him as he did, moaning in delight when Lucas returned the kiss with hungry need, no hesitation at all. It seemed as if he really had allowed the walls to fall away. Nicholas was grateful for that and he fully intended to prove just how grateful he really was. This moment, this man, was his dream come true. Kissing his way down Lucas’s chest, he delighted in learning what made Lucas moan or gasp or call out his name. He wanted to know every inch of him, but Lucas’s hand was tangled in his hair and his own body ached with the need to release his desire. “Trust me?” He was breathless as he asked and Lucas nodded. “With all my heart.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “You’ll never regret that,” Nicholas whispered, standing as Lucas looked at him. “Can you lay on your stomach for me? If you’re comfortable, that is….” With a smile and no hesitation, Lucas easily did as he asked and Nicholas felt as if another victory had been achieved. “I’m starting to think you have some sort of fascination with my ass.” “I actually do have a fascination with your ass…and every other part of you.” Lucas laughed, resting his head on his arms while Nicholas opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out the lube Lucas had there. “Well, do you plan on staring all night?” “Well, as much fun as it is to look, I’d rather play.” That in mind, he put one knee on the bed, leaning down to kiss the back of Lucas’s neck, sliding one hand down his hip. “Nic….” “Trust me, baby. I’ll make this good for both of us.” Lucas moaned again and Nicholas smiled, taking his time, to kiss every inch of Lucas’s back, whispering gentle words, telling him again and again how much he loved him. How much he would always love him.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Slipping down farther, he caressed Lucas’s ass, feeling the muscles tense in anticipation. “Such a pretty ass….” “Nic….” There was a growl of warning in his tone and Nicholas laughed. “Okay, okay. No more teasing, baby.” To prove he meant it, he gently pulled the firm globes of Lucas’s ass apart, leaning down to run his tongue over the pink, puckered hole. Lucas’s hips bucked off the bed, his hands tangling in the sheets as he cried out. “Like that?” “Please, Nic!” “Again?” “Yes!” Aroused, but also amused by just how demanding his Lucas could be, Nicholas did as he requested, using his lips and tongue to taste and tease until Lucas was squirming and gasping words too jumbled to be coherent. Grabbing the lube, Nicholas quickly coated his fingers, stretching out on his side beside Lucas, who was still on his back. Pressing a kiss to Lucas’s cheek, he smiled. “Still okay?” “I’m better when you’re touching me.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “That an invitation?” “Of course.” Kissing him again, nibbling his lover’s ear playfully, Nicholas allowed his fingers to travel to the area he had just eagerly explored, slowly slipping one finger into the tight hole. His own cock felt as if it were about to explode; he was so aroused it was painful, but he was still determined to take his time, to make this perfect for Lucas, because Lucas deserved that. Carefully, he allowed a second finger to join the first and as he did, Lucas lifted his hips, biting his lip, eyes clenched shut. “Please, Nic. More.” “Whatever you want, baby.” Slipping in a third finger, he slowly pushed deeper, curling them, and Lucas cried out again, as Nicholas brushed over sensitive nerve endings. Repeating the action several times, he wondered if he might come, just watching Lucas’s hips thrusting up to meet his hand. “Nic, I…. God, I need you now.” “What do you need, baby?” He nipped at his neck again and Lucas whimpered. “You. Damn it, I need you inside of me!”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “There’s no place I’d rather be.” Withdrawing his fingers, Nicholas gently rolled Lucas onto his back, nearly losing himself in those amazing blue eyes. He dropped his lips in for a quick, hard kiss that had them both panting as he adjusted himself, hating to break physical contact, even for a moment. “Nic.” “Almost, baby.” Kneeling, with his legs spread between Lucas’s legs, Nicholas stroked his hands down his lover’s thighs. He had to pull in a breath and hold it, trying to control his desire. The need mingled with the emotions created made everything more intense and Lucas’s eyes told him he felt the same, as he adjusted Lucas’s legs over his and slowly, he lifted Lucas’s hips. “I love you, Luc.” “I love you, too, Nic.” Hands cradling Lucas’s hips, Nicholas slowly, carefully, began easing inside the man he loved for the first time and it was unlike anything he had ever known. He gasped at the feel of Lucas stretching to make room for him, to welcome him, warm and hot and so incredible it defied words. It went beyond anything Nicholas had ever felt before.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Moaning, Lucas arched up to meet him, his hands gripping Nicholas’s thighs, pushing them closer, taking Nicholas all the way inside. “Nic!” “Luc, I….” “Move! Please! God, please move, Nic!” Unable to deny himself, or more importantly, Lucas, Nicholas began to move, slowly at first, lost in the sensation, in the reality that he finally had what he wanted. Lucas gripped his hips tightly enough Nicholas was certain they would bruise but he didn’t care. He loved the sight of Lucas flushed, his swollen lips parted, eyes locked on Nicholas’s, openly expressing his desire and pleasure as Nicholas wrapped one hand firmly around the straining length of Lucas’s shaft. Stroking, pumping, the world turned upside-down as he and Lucas were pulled into a vortex where what they felt and what they wanted was all that mattered. “Nic, I’m so…so close, Nic….” “I know, baby. I know. Just let go. Let me watch you come, baby.” With a cry, Lucas came, spilling himself into Nicholas’s hand, in the instant before Nicholas followed him over the edge, falling into an abyss of white light and mind-shattering pleasure that left him breathless, his body drained but humming with an electric charge. His heart thundered

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis against his chest and his skin was damp with sweat, but he had never felt more alive, more complete, as he slowly pulled himself from Lucas’s body to collapse beside him on the bed. Trembling, Lucas gathered Nicholas against him, each of them rolling to their sides to face each other. “Wow,” Lucas smiled tiredly, stroking his fingers through Nicholas’s damp hair. “I’d say that was a wow.” “I must be insane, to have denied us that for so long.” “Just don’t deny us again and we’ll call it even.” Lucas laughed, closing his eyes on a sigh and Nicholas kissed him gently, running a hand up and down his back in a tender, soothing gesture. “Love you, Nic.” “I love you too, Luc. Just relax and let me hold you.” In answer, Lucas scooted closer and Nicholas held him tight as his own eyes closed, and together, sated, completely in love, they drifted off to sleep.

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Chapter Eight

THEY slept for about an hour before waking up and, after showering together, they finally made it to their waiting dinner. The food was cold but still good and the wine was a bit lukewarm, but they drank it, laughing, barely able to keep their hands off each other. Lucas had never felt so completely free, not even before his life had changed so drastically, and for a while, it was easy to forget the world beyond his apartment, Riley Miller included. Just being with Nicholas was all that mattered. It was all he had ever wanted and there was something incredible in knowing that Nicholas felt just as happy as he did, as they finally made it back to bed for another round of lovemaking. Afterward, they again fell asleep wrapped together and Lucas was content, sleeping pressed close to Nicholas. No matter what, he knew he didn’t want what they shared to end, because Nicholas was the best thing in his life.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis The best thing that has ever happened to me. Morning came entirely too early, at five o’clock, to be exact, when Nicholas’s cell phone rang and he groaned in disgust as he sat up to answer it while Lucas watched him with sleepy eyes. Still naked, hair a mess, Nicholas was gorgeous first thing in the morning and Lucas knew it was a sight he would never grow tired of seeing. He and Nicholas hadn’t discussed it yet, but Lucas knew one of them would soon mention the idea of living together, and while the idea had once seemed so impossible, Lucas now knew there was nothing he wanted more. Going to bed every night and waking up every morning wrapped in Nicholas’s arms sounded like heaven. “Are you kidding me? No, I’m on my way. Evacuate anyone in that area and rope it off.” Clicking the phone shut, Nicholas slipped from the bed and began gathering his clothes as Lucas sat up further. “What’s wrong?” “Someone called the station, saying there’s a bomb in place at City Hall. No one should be there, this early in the morning, but we can’t take any chances.” “Of course not.” He paused, shrugging on his shirt. “Shit. I can’t leave you here….”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Nic, come on. I’ll be fine. I’ll lock the door and I won’t open it to anyone but you.” “Luc….” “I’m serious. You have a job to do.” He crawled from the bed, stepping into the arms Nicholas opened for him. “Go and I’ll be here when you get back.” He could still see the concern in his lover’s eyes, as Nicholas sighed before kissing him quickly but with enough passion Lucas groaned when he forced himself to pull back. “Are you sure?” “Go make the city safe. But be careful. I don’t want to visit you in the hospital again.” “Noted.” He finished dressing quickly and Lucas walked him to the door, where Nicholas turned and looked at him and Lucas smiled. “Go. I’m fine.” “I have my phone. If you need me….” “Nic!” “Okay, okay. I’m being a mother hen.” “I was gonna say pain in the ass.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Nicholas grabbed him by the hips and pulled him closer. “When I get back, I’ll be anything but a pain in your ass, babe.” “Promise?” “Always.” “Good. Now get out of here already, Sheriff.” One more kiss and Nicholas was out the door. Lucas locked it, true to his promise, before he turned and looked around the living room. It was still early and he knew he could go back to bed for another hour or so, but the idea of being in his bed without Nicholas left him feeling hollow inside. He still couldn’t believe he had pushed the man he loved away for five years, not when it was obvious now that he had never had any reason to be afraid or worry he might be rejected. Lesson learned. I’ll never reject Nicholas again. I need him too much. Going into the kitchen, he put on a pot of coffee and went back into the bedroom to put on some clothes. He had no idea how long Nicholas would be. He expected the situation would require a few hours at the very least, but the store didn’t open until nine, which gave him time to go downstairs and finish some work. He knew Nicholas wanted him to stay in the apartment, but the store was just as safe, as far as Lucas was concerned.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Waiting until the coffee was finished, he poured himself a cup and went quickly downstairs, smiling as he thought about the greeting he would likely get from Sasha when she arrived. Sorry, Sasha. No details. Some things are too good to share. Letting himself into his office, he turned on the lights, crossed to his desk and set his coffee down with a sigh. He knew he needed to catch up on some tasks he had been putting off, and now was the ideal time, but his thoughts were still consumed with memories of last night, in Nicholas’s arms. It was silly, considering he was a grown man, but he felt almost like a giddy teenager in love for the first time and he knew it was a feeling that wouldn’t end. Sitting down, he reached for a stack of mail he needed to sort through, when he heard a soft click and then felt the cold barrel of a gun pressed hard against the back of his neck. “Surprise, Lucas.” Not daring to move, heart falling to his stomach, he closed his eyes. “Riley….” “No fooling you, is there? Though I’ve got to say, it’s hard getting a few minutes alone with you, when that pretty boyfriend of yours is around.” “Nic….”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Right. Nicholas Demetris. Cedar Point Sheriff. Goodlooking guy. I bet dating a cop makes you feel all safe and secure, right? Figure he’ll be around to protect you, but one little call about a possible bomb, and he went running right out the door, leaving you alone.” “Riley, please….” “Just a sitting duck, Lucas. That’s what you are.” Drawing in a breath, he released it slowly, still afraid to move, to do anything that would prompt Riley to shoot him in the head. He had to remain calm, he had to focus, if he wanted any chance of living to see Nicholas again. “As you can tell, from the gun I have pointed at you, I am in complete control here, so you’re gonna do just as I tell you to do. Understand that?” “I understand.” “Promise to behave?” His voice was coldly mocking and Lucas nodded. “I swear.” “Good. Now turn around very slowly, with your hands in the air.” He felt the gun move from the back of his neck, but Lucas didn’t fool himself into believing he wasn’t still in danger as he raised his hands and slowly turned his chair around to face the monster from his nightmares.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Dressed in a sweat suit that looked at least a size too large, he wore an old baseball cap and a three-day-old beard. He appeared unkempt and dirty and his eyes were bright with what could only be called madness as he smiled. Lucas looked from him to the gun gripped in his hand and back again, disgust and fear mingling together to make his chest tighten. “You look good, Lucas. I have to admit that. And I know you can’t say the same to me, because I look like hell, but what can I say? Ten fucking years in prison is damn hard on a man.” Rage echoed in his words and Lucas knew he was on the edge. “Can you imagine what it’s like, to be locked up in a cage day after fucking day, Lucas? Can you? Do you have any idea how horrible it feels to be told when to eat and sleep and take a piss? For ten years I was treated like shit. People treat dogs better than I was treated and it’s all because of you, you worthless son of a bitch! You ruined my life! You made me love you, and then you threw it all back in my face and you made people think I was crazy, but I’m not. I know what I am doing and right now, I am here to make you pay for your lies, for failing me, for taking my heart and breaking it.” Lucas started to shake his head, to deny what Riley saying, to defend himself, but he was afraid that would push Riley past the edge, so he drew in another breath decided that maybe, if he played along a little, it might him some time.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Time for what, Lucas? He has a gun. And Nic won’t come back until he knows everything is safe at City Hall. Even if there is no bomb, he doesn’t know that. He can’t risk innocent lives. He was on his own and all he had were his instincts and hope to keep him alive. “I’m sorry, Riley.” “For what? Just what are you sorry for, Lucas?” “For anything I did or said that hurt you in any way. I…I never meant it. I wanted to help you, to do good in school and maybe get into college.” “You didn’t mean to….” Without warning, his words faded and he lashed out, striking Lucas across the face with the gun, causing pain to explode and blood to gush from a cut under his right eye. “You didn’t mean to! Is that it? That’s all you can say?” Holding his hand over the cut, fighting back a wave of darkness, Lucas looked up at Riley, seeing the rage and the burning hate in his eyes. “Riley, please listen….” “Not a chance. I don’t want to hear your excuses.” “What do you want?”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis He smiled at that,—a cool, sick smile that made Lucas’s skin crawl. “Well, since you were so kind as to ask, I’ll tell you. I want you and me to have a chance to get to know one another again. I’ve even got a place for us.” “A place….” “Where we can be all alone. Where no one will find us. Just like before.” God, no. Please. I can’t do this. I can’t survive this. Not again. “Don’t look so worried, Lucas. I promise, at least one of us will have fun.” “Riley, I’ll give you anything you want. Just go away. Don’t blow your chance to have a life.” “What chance? Any chance I had, you stole from me ten years ago. I loved you.” He shook his head, jabbing the gun in Lucas’s direction as he went on. “You were nice to me and you made me think I could believe in you and it was all lies. And I made you pay for that, but you lived and…why didn’t you just die, damn it? If you had, I would never have gone to jail. I lost everything. My mother turned me away, I can’t contact anyone in my family, all because of you!” His verbal tirade ended with a bitter laugh and he shook his head again. Lucas could see he was beyond being reasoned with, he was even more insane than he was back when the nightmare began, and that terrified him.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Here’s what we’re gonna do, Lucas. I got a car in the alley. Real calm-like, we’re gonna get in the car and we’re gonna go for a little ride, to the place I got picked out for us.” “People will realize I’m missing and come looking for me.” “Of course they will, but they won’t have any idea where to look, will they? And by the time they do figure it out, it will be too late.” “What…what are you going to do to me?” “Oh, I can’t tell you. It would ruin the surprise.” “Riley….” “Suffice it to say, the fun we had last time will seem like nothing compared to what I have in mind for us this time around.” Dropping his blood-covered hand from his face, Lucas swallowed back his fear and the need to be sick, as he allowed Riley’s words to really sink in. He’s going to rape me and torture me all over again and this time, he will make sure I’m dead. “I’m almost sad that I won’t be around to see the reaction when they find what’s left of you.” He smiled, as if he had read Lucas’s thoughts. “It won’t be pretty and I bet your boyfriend will just fall apart when he sees you carved up from head to toe.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Waving the gun in an upward motion, Riley reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pair of handcuffs he threw at Lucas. “Put those on, and then get up slowly.” Hands trembling slightly, Lucas hooked the cuffs around one wrist, then the other, cringing at the sound of them locking in place and rendering him even more helpless. “Now stand. Time’s a wasting.” “Is there really a bomb?” Lucas asked, as he stood, feeling slightly dizzy. “No. No need for one, really. Just the threat is enough to distract your boyfriend and his band of deputies for a while.” “They’ll find you, Riley. Even if you kill me, they will eventually find you.” “Oh, Lucas. There’s no if about it. I will kill you and then I’ll disappear. It’s all very simple.” No it’s not, you bastard. Nic will find you. He won’t rest until he finds you. As much as he wanted to scream those words, he didn’t, but thinking about Nicholas did make his eyes burn with tears. They had finally gotten it right, he had finally gotten past his issues and let Nicholas in and now he was going to die. He had been so afraid Nicholas would be the one to leave, but now, thanks to Riley, Lucas knew he would be the one

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis leaving and he hated it, hated knowing what his death would do to Nicholas. If he finds me the way Riley intends for him to find me, he will never get over it. Would finding him shot to death inside his office somehow be better? He would still be dead, in the end, but at least Nicholas wouldn’t be haunted by the knowledge that he had suffered horribly before he died and maybe, maybe that might make it easier to accept. Maybe Nicholas would someday find someone else to love, because he deserved that. He deserved to be loved, to be happy. I’m sorry, Nic. I am so sorry for the time I wasted, the time we could have had. I love you so much. “Okay, let’s get a move on.” Riley gestured toward the side door, but Lucas shook his head. “No.” Clearly confused, Riley frowned. “No? Excuse me, but I don’t think you have a choice.” “But I do have a choice, you sick son of a bitch. I’m choosing to make you kill me here and now and I’m choosing not to allow you to play whatever sick, twisted games you have in mind.” Riley’s eyes narrowed. “You think I won’t kill you where you stand?”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “On the contrary, I know you will.” “Don’t push me.” “Then just do it. Kill me.” For a moment, he was certain Riley was going to do it. He would pull the trigger and that would be it, but instead, he smiled. “Fine. If you insist, Lucas. I’ll kill you. And then I’ll wait a while and when things calm down a bit, I’ll come back here and take Nicholas and do to him all the things I have in mind for you.” “You can’t….” “Oh, but I can. And I will. I’ll just take your pretty boyfriend in your place.” “Riley….” “You’re so big on having a choice, Lucas. Well, choose. You or Nicholas? Who will it be?” Sickened, Lucas shook his head. “I…I’ll go with you. Okay? Anywhere you want, I’ll go.” “You sure? I mean, I’m sure I could enjoy myself with Nicholas.” “Please, leave him alone. It’s me you want and you have me.” He didn’t care what happened to him, as long as Nicholas didn’t suffer. Riley smiled.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “In that case, we’re gonna go right out that door there and get into my car.” Lucas nodded, not trusting himself to speak, as Riley grabbed his shoulder, turned him, and gave him a hard push toward the door. Please, God, don’t let Nic be the one to find me when Riley’s finished. He could feel tears burning his eyes at the thought, as they crossed the room and Riley reached around him, to put his hand on the doorknob. He had the gun pressed into Lucas’s side and Lucas knew if he shot him now, at that range, it would certainly kill him, but a deep sense of selfpreservation demanded that he at least make an attempt to save himself. Drawing in a breath, as Riley opened the door, Lucas lifted his foot and stomped down as hard as he could on Riley’s foot. The other man cried out in surprise and as he did, Lucas spun, curling his cuffed hands into fists, slamming them into Riley’s face. He felt Riley’s nose snap, but knew that wouldn’t deter him for long. The gun fell and Lucas kicked it, but as he did, Riley caught his foot, jerking hard, knocking Lucas off balance and sending him crashing to the floor. The side of his head hit the doorknob and pain made his vision blur. He rolled to his side, telling himself to stand, but

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis before he could, Riley was looming over him, the gun in hand, rage bright in his eyes as blood poured from his nose. “You bastard! I wish you had died ten years ago!” “Well, I didn’t, you freak! I lived!” “I’m gonna change that now….” He swayed on his feet, but still managed to take aim. “And you know what? I don’t even care if I get caught, if I go back to prison, as long as you’re rotting away in hell where you belong!” I’m sorry, Nic. Please forgive me for not making it. Closing his eyes, he knew it was over, knew this was it, as the sound of a gun firing exploded. He waited for a rush of pain, but it never came and he opened his eyes in time to see Riley drop to his knees, before slumping forward to the floor. Shocked, his mind hazy, he looked up to see Nicholas rushing toward him, followed by three deputies. Lucas wondered if maybe, just maybe, he was dead, or maybe he was knocked out and he was just lost in some hallucination. “Luc? Luc, talk to me, baby. Come on, talk to me.” Nicholas dropped to his side, taking his face in his hands and at his touch, some of the shock began to fade and Lucas fell forward into his arms. “Nic….” “It’s okay now, Luc. It’s okay. I swear; it’s all over now.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Lucas allowed the words, the comforting embrace, to wash over him, as sirens sounded in the distance and he closed his eyes, not bothering to fight the tears. He was alive—alive—and Nicholas was holding him and he wouldn’t let go. The nightmare really was over.

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Epilogue

DESPITE great protest on Lucas’s part, the doctors ordered that he stay in the hospital overnight for observation. He had a mild concussion and the cut under his eye needed just a few stitches, and the doctors expected his recovery would be quick, but Nicholas knew, all too well, just how close he had come to losing the man he loved. Two second later, and Lucas would have been dead. The thought made his heart ache each time it came to him and that ache was made worse when duty forced him to leave Lucas’s side while the doctors treated him. He had to deal with reports, calling off the search for Riley and explaining to the media that the bomb threat had been bogus, just a sick ploy used by Riley to distract Nicholas and his deputies, leaving Lucas vulnerable. And I fell for it; I left Lucas alone. Nicholas knew he would never escape that guilt, even if he had been doing his job. It was his gut feeling that something just wasn’t right that had sent him back to make

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis certain his lover was safe, and he thanked God that he’d listened to that gut feeling. With everything finally settled, for the time being at least, Nicholas went back to the hospital, slipping into Lucas’s room, to find him asleep. His face was bruised, there were cuts on his wrist from the handcuffs, and he looked a little pale to Nicholas, but he was alive and beautiful and Nicholas felt tears burning his eyes as he sat down beside the bed. Carefully reaching for his hand, he forced a smile when Lucas’s eyes slowly opened. “Hospitals are becoming a thing with us, Nic.” “I say it’s a habit we have to break.” Nicholas kissed his hand. “How are you?” “Tired. A little groggy. But most of all, I’m damn lucky.” “Luc….” “Listen, I know you, and you’re about to go into this long thing about how you weren’t there and how it all could have ended badly, but I won’t hear it. I’m alive because of you, because you came back, and I….” “I should never have left.” “You were doing your job.” “You could have died, Luc.” Just saying the words made him feel ill.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “I could have. But I didn’t and that’s all that matters.” Nicholas kissed his hand again, taking a moment to gather his emotions, to process everything that had happened. He and Lucas had just gotten things right and they had come close to losing out on the future they wanted, but now, Riley was dead and Nicholas couldn’t deny that he was relieved to know Riley would never again be a threat to Lucas. And, looking at Lucas, Nicholas could see something in his eyes, something that said he was at peace, that he was no longer haunted by the past. “The statement you gave, you said he…he said if you didn’t go with him, he would kill you and come back for me?” Lucas nodded slowly. “I wouldn’t let that happen.” “God, Luc….” “I wouldn’t let you ever suffer what I did.” Lucas’s eyes locked on his. “But I…God, I wouldn’t let him hurt you, but at the same time, I prayed you wouldn’t be the one to find me, because I….” He had to swallow back a rise of emotions. “I didn’t want finding me dead to be your last memory of me and when he was about to kill me, the entire time he had me at gunpoint really, all I could do was think about how I wasted so much time.” Shaking his head, Nicholas squeezed his hand. “Whatever time we missed, we’ll make up for it and we will make the most of every moment we’ve got ahead of us.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “Promise?” “Always.” Lucas smiled, but he still looked tired. “I don’t want you feeling guilty, or blaming yourself, Nic, because you saved my life coming back when you did, but more than that, you saved me when you refused to give up on us.” “I will never give up on us.” “Neither will I.” Their eyes held as the promise passed between them and Nicholas knew it was all okay. “However, love, you look exhausted.” “Do I?” “Totally. Seems a good enough reason for me to scoot over and make room for you in this bed.” “You just want to get me in bed.” Nicholas teased. “Any and every chance I get.” “Luc….” “I love you.” “I love you, too.” Carefully, Lucas scooted over, and Nicholas kicked off his shoes before crawling into the bed, laying his head on the same pillow as Lucas.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis Just being close to the man he loved, the man he wanted a life with, chased away the chill he felt each time he thought about how close he had come to losing Lucas forever. But he’s okay now. We’re okay. Riley’s gone, and the past we can face together. “I think we should live together,” Lucas said, as Nicholas settled beside him. “I think we should get married.” Lucas raised an eyebrow. “Was that a proposal?” “Hell no! A proposal means I’m giving you the option to say no, and I’m not.” “For what it’s worth, I don’t need that option. No is the last thing I would say to marrying you.” Leaning close, Nicholas kissed him slowly, gently, but the passion and need was still there and they both knew it always would be. “Just promise me we’ll do our best to avoid hospitals for a real long time,” Nicholas grinned. “And you have to promise me you’ll get back to that idea you had for chocolate….” “Don’t forget about my fantasy of you and me in my office.” “Oh, I haven’t forgotten that.”

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis “We have a lifetime to live out every fantasy either of us has, Luc.” “Living out fantasies certainly sounds like fun, and I agree, we will indulge, but I have to tell you, Nic, I really like reality.” “Reality?” “Yeah. Reality. Our reality. You and me happy together.” Nicholas blinked back the tears that again threatened, but this time, they were good tears, tears that came from knowing they had overcome every obstacle thrown at them and not only were they together, they were stronger. “We will be happy, Luc.” “I know. We deserve it.” “That we do. That we do, babe.” Slipping an arm around Lucas, he pulled him closer, holding on tight, certain that forever was theirs and it really would be happily ever after.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis LISA MARIE DAVIS is a Florida girl, born and raised, who had been writing for as long as she can remember. There's nothing she loves more than writing. Her mind is always wondering, creating characters and plots. She's been accused of daydreaming too much but doesn't see it as a fault.

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis

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Loving Lucas / Lisa Marie Davis

© Copyright Lisa Marie Davis, 2009 Published by Dreamspinner Press 4760 Preston Road Suite 244-149 Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. Cover Design by Mara McKennen This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the publisher. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 4760 Preston Road, Suite 244-149, Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ Released in the United States of America November, 2008 eBook edition eBook ISBN: 978-1-935192-44-2

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