Merry Christmas Baby

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham

DEREK nervously buttoned and unbuttoned the cuffs of his dress shirt. Three months. The thought was terrifying. Three months since he’d been back to this restaurant. He felt like his insides were caving in with each familiar scent and face. The music was the same, the design was the same, the same people worked there, and the same people frequented the bar. Three months and the Christmas holiday hadn’t done a damn thing to change the place. Three months. The waitress he’d had the last time he came to the restaurant brought him a glass of water and he had to think hard about not asking for liquor to follow it. Maybe it would calm his nerves, ease his fears back in his overly excited brain. He couldn’t think without one thought jumping to another, and then another. His fists clenched and unclenched in his lap and he had to force himself to breathe normally. He reminded himself that it was Christmas Eve and even though the restaurant didn’t seem to recognize the holidays that didn’t mean that traffic didn’t. He was probably just running late. That excuse didn’t hold for long. 2

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham Every time the door opened and closed his muscles twitched anxiously. He’d been sitting there for twenty minutes now, drinking glass after glass of water, and though he was sure he’d need to relieve himself soon he didn’t want to leave the table. He didn’t want to risk the chance that the door could open and the right person would walk in without him there to see him. Three months had changed a lot. Derek tugged at his collar as he grasped bits of conversation floating around him, drifting into his ears voluntarily making his neck warm and his cheeks redden. “– Look at the poor guy.” “– He might be here by himself. And on Christmas Eve!” “Besides he hasn’t ordered any food and –” “– he must be waiting for some one or maybe –” Derek frowned. They were just words. Words of some nosy people who should be more concentrated on their food than why he was sitting there alone. He checked his Rolex, noting that it was twenty until ten. Twenty minutes had now turned into an hour, one long embarrassing hour. A disappointing hour. Some carolers went by and Derek’s ears perked to listen to the strains of Silent Night. He breathed in deep to calm himself. ‘Lonely’ Night was more like it.

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Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham Derek’s stomach dropped and his eyes remained downcast as he stood up and pushed the chair in. He wasn’t coming. Chase wasn’t coming and Derek was suspicious of whether the other man ever intended to, after they made the date. The bittersweet sound of the soft music followed Derek on his way out. The strains of the violinist’s chords were cut short when the door closed behind him. The carolers had moved on down the street, ringing bells and belting joy from the top of their lungs. Derek didn’t care. He wasn’t much for holidays. That had been Chase’s department. He always got the tree, decorated it, and lit it up. Derek didn’t have time for such things. He was usually out and Chase was more than always in. With his hands in his pockets Derek trudged home where he knew a comfortable bed and a mountain of work waited for him. Work that prepared him for his next trip, another three months away from the concrete sidewalks and asphalt streets, from the harsh glow of the street lamps, and Chase. He guessed he couldn’t blame Chase for not coming. He ran his thumb over the smooth surface of his cell phone willing it to buzz to life and catch him before he went too far. Too little too late, he supposed when he reached his flat on the north side of the city and with a push of a button cut his phone off just as the tiniest of vibrations could be 4

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham felt. It was over. For good this time.

CHASE started when the connection was lost. He lay on his stomach in his bed across town staring at the small phone. His dark eyes were wide with disbelief and his jaw slack in surprise. He dialed the number again only to receive a short answer that Derek was unable to answer the phone. Flipping the phone closed, Chase set it quietly aside and laid his head down, unable to stop the churning of his stomach. He’d been so angry three months ago when Derek told him that he was going away for a while. He had been so angry that he refused to see him off or converse with him at all during the trip. He’d thrown himself into his work, developing the latest issues of his comic books at such a rapid rate that his publishers questioned him about the now dubbed “dark issues” and if Chase were in his right mind. Chase happily replied that a right mind hadn’t made them the money they eagerly accepted. He had to admit that when Derek left he was more crass than pleasantly sarcastic and outright depressed rather than fun-loving. He wasn’t in his right mind. Not when he was imagining Derek here, dark complexion mixing against his pale one.

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Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham Everything was off balance and all he could think of every morning was whether or not Derek was okay, who he was with, if he was being treated well. He imagined things happening to him, stressing him out, and no one being there to take care of him. He owned hotels across the country and often traveled every few months to check on each of them. Derek was a hands-on type of man. Chase knew that from the moment he met him. Oddly enough they had met around the same time of the year, four years prior. Everything was different then. Derek only owned one hotel and it was in town, and Chase worked at a comic book store. Their paths crossed when Derek entered the store looking for a rare collector's issue for his nephew. Chase was more than willing to help him track it down. As a special thanks for his help, Derek offered to take him out to dinner. Before he knew it, they were together, nearly inseparable until Derek's business expanded. It was madness and Derek had so much more on his mind than before. He was away from home, and from him. Chase wondered if Derek ever had time to miss him. Now Chase had the opportunity to find out and instead he let it slip right through his stubborn fingers. Sometimes he didn't want to admit that he was completely miserable when Derek was gone. Right now, he had to. Despite the decorations strewn across his house he missed the only family he had in the city.

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Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham It was that time of the year that Chase spent more time in Derek’s apartment than his own. He was usually there decorating or baking or drawing until his lover came back. It was lonely. And no amount of Christmas lights, cookies, or eggnog could make him feel any different. But Derek was always home for Christmas. He knew missing that day was unforgivable to Chase. He tried calling Derek’s house phone and groaned when he received the same message. Rolling onto his back, he stared at the unmoving ceiling fan and the dust that had accumulated. Indecision plagued him. He was still upset by the way Derek had told him he was leaving, only two days before his flight was going to take off. Chase still swore he could have given him more time. More time to process the information that he would be without the love of his life for twelve weeks, eighty-eight days … three months. Yes, he did love that man, every bit of him. Chase could have cried at that. The thought of never being able to call him his, never being able to touch him, feel him against his body, call Derek his lover and his life. At that Chase sat up, glaring out of the window adjacent to his bed at the taxis riding up and down the ice and snow-covered street, gleaming in the somber glow of the street lights and the moon. An overwhelming sense of loneliness reminded him of the last three months.

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Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham He couldn’t stay in his apartment anymore.

DEREK glanced at the door from his couch, puzzled at the knocking he heard. With a heavy sigh he clicked the volume button on the remote, drifting further and further into the colorful splashes across the screen and the droning voices accompanying them. Some holiday special blinked at him, emphasizing goodwill towards all men and blah, blah, blah. Derek couldn’t motivate himself to care. His door rattled uncomfortably and he decided to give up on the television. Without bothering to turn the television off Derek stood from his seat and walked to the kitchen to pour a drink. “Derek!” A voice from outside rose above the loudness of his television, presenting Derek with what he’d wanted from the time he’d arrived home. A few moments later Derek thought he heard keys jangling and his door opening and slamming shut. He quickly knocked back his glass of alcohol, something he should have done earlier. It did ease his nerves, until he saw Chase standing there. Chase stood across from him on the other side of the counter that separated his kitchen from the living room. Chase’s brown eyes stared balefully into his own for a while, mixed emotions of pain, concern, love, and anger mirroring the same things that Derek felt. “I – I’m, ah, leaving in two weeks,” Derek stammered, 8

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham actually wincing at the words. Three months of no contact and all he could say was that he was leaving again. Chase glared at him as if he could kill him where he stood. “Is that all?” Chase asked, his eyes lit with fire ready to burst. “All?” Derek struggled to find the words. “You leave for three months, not a word from you and you call me when you get back in town –” “You said you didn’t want to hear from me.” The fact hit Chase like a brick. He had come to apologize. In his head he knew this was a battle he didn’t really want to fight, but his blood boiled and suddenly it was two days before Derek had to leave again. He took a deep breath; this wasn't what he was here for. Chase pursed his lips and Derek crossed his arms. A sarcastic chuckle hung in between them. Chase’s eyes drifted around the dark apartment. “You didn’t get any decorations.” “I’m sorry; I was too busy being stood up,” Derek replied coolly. Chase snapped back into form and for a moment Derek admired his lover’s blazing eyes. His shortly cropped dark hair looked like it had been pulled in every direction possible. Derek would have remarked at how much Chase had remained just the way he had left him but this wasn’t the time. 9

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham “Don’t give me that bullshit!” “What do you want me to say, Chase?” Chase came around the side of the counter, leaning with one arm on the smooth surface. “I want….” “What?” Derek stepped covering Chase’s light ones.

closer,

his

dark

fingers

Chase yanked his hand away poked one finger into Derek’s chest and growled. “You’re a right bastard for what you did.” “All I did was tell you that I was leaving!” “Two fucking days before your plane was supposed to take off! Two days, what the hell was I supposed to do with that?” “Be with me? Like you can now,” Derek replied and Chase shook his head. “Too little too late,” Chase said bitterly. “Then why are you here?” Derek asked. “Did you just come to yell at me?” “No…” Chase replied, trying to find any other reason he dared to tell Derek, other than that he couldn’t stand to be in his empty apartment any longer or that he preferred Derek’s apartment instead, more for the fact that he was there more than anything else. Not to his surprise he came up lacking. 10

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham “Love,” Derek murmured, “doesn’t go away that quickly.” Chase snorted. “Easily forgettable when you have more important things to do.” “I’m not doing anything right now,” Derek told him closing the widened gap between them. His lips, red and full, hovered over Chase’s, daring him to inch forward just a little bit more and close the space between. “Cleared schedule?” Chase asked shivering at the feeling of Derek’s hands finding their favorite places to touch and to feel. “I promise.” With that said, Chase kissed Derek full on the lips, backing him up until they were leaning against the sink. Chase groaned when Derek sucked on his tongue and ground against him, the bulge in his pants quite evident. Derek smiled into the kiss, enjoying the slow build between them. Chase’s teeth playfully latched on to his full lower lip, tugging him recklessly into a deeper kiss. Derek braced himself by placing one hand on the counter behind him, in the sink actually, and using the other to unzip the jacket Chase had been wearing. Derek cursed when Chase attacked his neck, finding that spot he loved so much just beneath his jaw, licking tentatively. Chase’s hands worked on Derek’s dress shirt, expertly 11

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham unbuttoning every button and kissing the skin left bare, eventually returning to Derek’s lips to devour the taste of him as if he’d never had the opportunity to do so before. Derek’s hand kept moving back and he jumped when he accidentally hit the switch beside the sink that started his garbage disposal. Chase laughed at him even after Derek glowered at having their mood shattered. Jingle Bells blared from the television. “Sorry,” Derek apologized. Chase shushed him quickly. “C’mon, you oaf. I suppose we should find a more comfortable surface than your kitchen counter,” Chase purred in his ear. Derek’s knees weakened, something he would never admit or he’d be teased without mercy. “It was a one-time experiment,” Derek murmured, recalling their attempt at counter fucking. They’d tried it once and after fifteen minutes of uncomfortable positions and unstoppable giggling they decided to do what they were doing now: make their way to the bedroom.

WHEN Derek and Chase both tumbled onto the bed, they wrestled for a moment to decide who would come out on top. For the moment Derek won out, pinning his lover to the bed. His weight settled over Chase’s concealed but already hard cock, and he moaned loudly at the pressure. Derek rocked 12

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham back and forth for a few moments, his eyes lighting up at the soft moans he elicited from his lover. “Son of a –, a –, ahh…,” Chase moaned, unhappy as it seemed that Derek had decided to make him come quickly, but excited at the prospect of them beginning another round. He cursed again when Derek rose from his place. “Hey…” Chase’s disappointed whine made Derek smile and kiss the side of his mouth. “I want you to save it for my ass,” Derek muttered over Chase’s lips, his husky voice nearly enough to make Chase come again. Chase’s mind was torn with the thought of both Derek rocking him to an orgasm and the idea of coming with him, his dick hard and thrusting into Derek’s willing ass. Chase’s mind snapped to attention at the sound of his zipper being pulled down. He lifted his hips and helped Derek slide his slacks off, hurrying to get to Derek’s clothing as well. He pulled at his lover’s belt and became frustrated in his haste to get the thing undone. “Just let me,” Derek chuckled, making Chase frown before he kissed his lips, tongue darting playfully in and out and turning up to engage with Derek’s. His hands covered Derek’s chest, feeling every bit of him down to his bare ass, exposed only after Derek had finally kicked his pants off. Chase pulled Derek down onto the bed and pushed him on his back.

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Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham “Don’t tell me you’ve run out of lube,” Derek’s voice was full of lust and familiar sarcasm. Chase took Derek’s own hard cock in his hand in retaliation, stroking him until his words ran together and his head tilted back with his eyes closed. Chase smirked when he rolled off of Derek, inciting a sad whimper and a disappointed huff. “Save it for when I fuck you,” Chase mimicked, as he reached for the lube. Derek snorted and slapped him on the ass as he leaned towards his nightstand to grab the unopened bottle. Derek’s fingers busied themselves with massaging the firm behind Chase presented to him as he twisted and turned to reach, his thumb brushing Chase’s opening lightly. Chase’s body stiffened and for a whole minute Derek thought he’d accidentally made his lover climax. Chase took a moment to compose himself, then with ragged breathing returned fully to the bed and ordered Derek to spread his legs for him. Derek recognized the breathless tone and smiled as he followed orders. With one hand Chase pulled aside one of Derek’s cheeks and with the other he gently pressed a slick finger to his hole. Derek hissed and arched. “Beautiful,” Chase remarked. Derek’s face reddened. Chase tutted quietly but continued to probe, pushing his finger forward and bending at the knuckle, eliciting soft 14

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham whimpers that sent blood rushing to his groin. He calmed himself, adding another and another, drawing out the moments as long as he could. Derek squirmed under his movements, gripping the bed sheets tightly and clutching at the short hair on top of Chase’s head. After Chase prepared him the best he could, Derek turned over and pushed himself up on his elbows, presenting Chase with one lovely view of him. Chase didn’t have time to admire the piece of work in front of him; his body reacted before his mind could command it to slow down. He spread Derek’s cheeks and pressed against his tight opening. Three months had been a long time. Derek hissed and buried his head amongst the pillows, gasping out that Chase needed to take it slow. “’s been a while,” he groaned as Chase’s head popped through his entrance. Chase moaned himself as he went further inside his lover, filling his delicious hole inch by inch. Chase swore, not knowing whether to be even happier that Derek probably hadn’t had sex in the three months that he was gone, or to thank God for the tightness his lover’s loneliness provided. Derek rocked back against him, apparently adjusting to the feel of Chase being inside of him. Chase thrust forward, surprising himself with how slow he was capable of taking things. His entire body felt tense with the tightness that engulfed him and the painful hardness of his dick. He started moving again, faster this 15

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham time, pushing further and further inside Derek’s widening hole. He could hear Derek calling his name, purring words of encouragement as he met him thrust for thrust, even when Chase sent his body forward into the pillows. Derek pushed himself up and gripped the headboard, inching forward into a kneeling position. Chase came from behind him, matching their bodies up, Derek’s back to Chase’s chest. The heat flowed easily between them, even more easily when Chase entered him again. He gripped Derek’s hips for balance with one hand and concentrated the other one on his chest. He raked his short nails across the hair-covered skin, then bit into a firm shoulder, enjoying the benefits of hearing Derek moan louder than before. His hand drifted from Derek’s chest and found its place around his dick. He stroked and pumped and lost himself in all of the motions at once. There were no sounds left in their ears but the creak of the bed and thump of sweat-slicked skin grinding together. Chase growled into Derek’s shoulder when Derek leaned back and gasped loudly in his ear. Every bit felt familiar for both of them, especially the tight heat in their guts and the rush of euphoria that consumed one after the other. Chase came first, holding on to Derek tightly and still working his cock. His movements did their job, and soon after Derek stiffened and groaned. His body relaxed back into Chase’s embrace, leaning against the solid frame that refused to let him fall. They stayed like that, slumped into each other, 16

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham breathing heavily and deeply. Chase’s arms circled Derek’s chest. Derek reached up and held onto his forearm. Their breathing slowed to normal but they stayed still. Chase kissed at Derek’s temple and neck, aiming to soothe him. Strains of music coming from the television reached them. They both laughed and slid down to lie in the bed. Chase landed on Derek’s chest, nestling in the crook of his neck and plucking at the dark hair trailing down his neck and stomach. Chase poked at the slight pudge Derek had acquired. “Someone’s been pigging out these past few months.” “Well, I didn’t have someone calling me asking what I’d been eating ... I just wound up grabbing what I could, when I could.” Chase pushed himself up and found Derek's eyes in the dark. “I'm sorry ... I don't know what got into me.” “I should have given you a better warning.” “That,” Chase sighed, “would be nice, for future reference.” “You mean you're not heading for the hills?” Chase chuckled. “Of course not. Besides, it's pretty damn impossible for me to stay away from you.” Derek grinned. Chase settled back down, his chest to 17

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham Derek's. Derek stroked his back and looked around in the dim light the moon provided. His room was exactly the way he left it. His eyes rested on the abstract clock on his wall shaped like the sun. The time read 12:44 PM. “It's Christmas, baby.” “Really?” “Mmhmm.” “Too bad I didn't get you a gift.” Derek gasped in mock horror. “You didn't?” “I was mad at you, remember?” Derek chuckled. “I guess we could go out tomorrow and I'll get you something,” Chase offered. “How about I settle for a kiss and we'll go out tomorrow and get you something.” Chase rose up on his elbows and pressed his lips to Derek's. “Merry Christmas, baby,” Chase whispered between them. “Merry Christmas to you, too.” They stayed there kissing lazily in bed, one after the other drifting off to sleep. 18

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham CHASE woke the next morning to the harsh daylight streaming from the windows. He rolled over on the bed, facing away from the intrusion. He felt where Derek should be and wasn't surprised to not find him. Derek was an earlybird. Chase's lips slowly curved into a smile in appreciation for the past night. He heard the front door open and close. Chase sat up and rolled his head from side to side, stretching. He could hear Derek's heavy footsteps in the living room and the sound of something scraping across the floor. Curiosity piqued, Chase rolled out of bed and searched out his boxer shorts. Once found, he slid them on and crept down the hallway. It seemed Derek was trying to make as little noise as possible. It wasn’t working so well, as he dropped what he was carrying. “Son of a bitch, get up there!” Derek growled. Chase's lips twitched. He came to the end of the hall and could see nothing of importance in the kitchen. As far as he knew it was just the way they had left it the night before. Chase inched closer to the edge of the room and eased himself around the corner slightly. His jaw might as well have dropped to the floor. There in the center of Derek's living room was a pine tree. Derek steadied it then stepped away, hands cautiously raised. When the tree didn't budge Derek sighed and looked up, catching Chase's awed expression. Derek grinned when Chase stepped out from his hiding place and crossed the room to stand beside him. 19

Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham “Where on earth –?” “Don't ask because you definitely don't want to know.” “There aren't any squirrels in there, are there?” Chase elbowed Derek playfully. “If there are then they must be pretty damn determined to stay in there. I dropped that thing nearly five times coming up the stairs.” “Why didn't you call me?” Chase questioned. “Surprises don't work like that,” Derek teased. Chase smiled up at him. “Is this my Christmas present?” “Nope,” Derek shook his head. He stepped around him to get to the couch and picked up a small black book. He handed it to Chase. “A datebook?” “Open it.” Chase did as he was told and flipped through the pages. “What are all these marks for?” “Those,” Derek leaned over to point at the marked off days, “are the days you can count on me to be here.” “Really? You didn't have to do this,” Chase said. “I'm okay with you leaving.”

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Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham Derek reached for him and pulled him into a hug. “You're worth the effort.” Chase smiled into the coat Derek was still wearing. Between them he mumbled words so soft he was sure they were lost in their embrace. They weren't, he knew, when Derek held him tighter then whispered into his ear. “You're welcome.”

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Merry Christmas, Baby Aly Graham

©Copyright Aly Graham, 2008 Published by Dreamspinner Press 4760 Preston Road Suite 244-149 Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. Cover Art by Dan Skinner/Cerberus Inc. [email protected] Cover Design by Mara McKennen This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the publisher. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 4760 Preston Road, Suite 244-149, Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ Released in the United States of America December, 2008

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