Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland
I HE WAS going to be sick. Sebastian’s fingers gripped the arm rests of the narrow seat in white-knuckled tension, gritting his teeth as the tiny plane lurched again, causing his stomach to roll. Beside him, Angel peered eagerly out of the window, grinning widely, without a care in the world, it seemed. His lover glanced over at him and gave him a sympathetic smile. “I didn’t know you didn’t like flying, Bastian.” Sebastian scowled, swallowing hard against the nausea as once more the plane bucked and dropped a bit. “I like flying just- just fine. First class. Warmed towels and champagne. I like that flying. This? Is not flying. This is attempted suicide.” Angel laughed, patting his hand. “It’ll be fine. This was your idea, anyway.” Sebastian couldn’t deny it and decided later he’d have a talk with his brat about the proper time and place to point out that Sebastian was responsible for his own nausea. So he’d thought taking Angel on a skiing vacation to Quebec for the Christmas holidays sounded like a brilliant plan. He hadn’t planned on being trapped in a flying tin can for a good portion of the trip.
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Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland What kind of five-star resort didn’t have access to a major airport, anyway? Angel peered out the window at the stunning vista below. He’d been skiing before, he loved it, but not like this. He couldn’t wait until they were on the ground so he could explore everything. The moodiness he usually experienced with the holidays had vanished the moment Sebastian had asked him to come. A week of sexual escapades and outdoor activities made an excellent diversion. He glanced over at his lover and immediately forgot about the view. Sebastian was white lipped, clutching the seat as the plane dipped and shuddered. Angel slid closer to him and curled his arm through Sebastian’s. “Just think of it like a roller coaster.” “Roller coasters are connected to something. There’s nothing between us and the ground but several thousand feet of air and maybe some birds.” Angel’s lips twitched, but he refrained from smiling. He’d never seen Sebastian anything other than calm and collected. It was kinda sweet. “We’re almost there,” he soothed. “We should be making the final descent soon.” Then he laughed teasingly. “Besides, since you made me leave half my things behind it’s not like the plane is overloaded.” Sebastian snorted. “If you’d had your way, we’d have never gotten off the ground.” How one person, one not very large person at that, could “need” so much crap, he would never understand. Hell, as far as he was concerned, Angel ought to have brought a ski suit, condoms and lube. Ski suit optional. He’d suggested as much when Angel had asked about bringing extra luggage and his lover’s response had been a horrified glare and a brief lecture about how Angel looking good made Sebastian look good 3
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland and how could either of them do that without the proper accoutrements? Sebastian had shrugged and insisted he already looked good. His arm was still sore; Angel had a heck of a left hook. Much to his relief, the small plane began to descend, thankfully not at breakneck speed with flames shooting out the back, and by the time they’d landed on the small runway behind an even smaller single-building airport, Sebastian had never been so glad to be on solid ground. They’d be finding an alternate route home; that was all there was to it. “I’m so damned excited.” Angel was out of the cabin in a flash, turning around in a circle to look all around him. The airport was tiny, like something he would’ve pictured out of Alaska, but the people seemed friendly as they came forward with smiles to gather their gear. “How long will it take us to get to the resort?” It was late in the afternoon, so probably no skiing today. Which was a shame because Angel had splurged and bought a brand new ski jacket and pants in a gorgeous red, though there would be time enough tomorrow to hit the slopes. But it was still early enough to explore the resort, and he couldn’t wait. Sebastian took his hand and led him out toward the cabs and hotel shuttles. “Not long at all. Come on, Angel, before you bounce yourself all the way to the resort.” “You’re the best.” Angel grinned and dropped a kiss onto Sebastian’s lips before sliding into the cab. The last thing he’d been expecting was Sebastian’s invitation to join him. They’d been together for months now, yeah, but it was casual, comfortable. Even though Angel still experienced the same vulnerability every time Sebastian bound him, he was coming to understand that the feeling was a part of it and he’d always have it. 4
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland As Sebastian climbed into the cab beside his lover, Angel proceeded to grill the cab driver about the area and all the things to do. Sebastian leaned back and smiled, observing. Angel charmed him, every time, no matter what; there was a boundless energy and light in the young man that drew Sebastian to him. He’d seen it the first day they’d met and he was always glad to see that whatever games they played, whatever scenes they created, that light never faded, the seemingly endless joy Angel had. Sebastian didn’t quite understand that joy, but oh he craved it, lived vicariously through his lover and in some ways was even learning to embrace it within himself. Not that he’d ever say anything like that to Angel. He was sure even the hint of Angel having anything Sebastian might need would send the young man running for the hills. Having what Sebastian wanted was one thing; Angel was always thrilled with that and strove to be exactly what he thought Sebastian wanted. Need, however, was a very different animal, and Sebastian knew his lover well enough to know that Angel wanted nothing to do with anything that might hint at permanence or a future. Sebastian himself wasn’t sure he wanted that either, though he suspected it might be too late for choices anyway. That was what this trip was for. He needed to figure out what a future for them might look like; he needed to be sure before he even broached the subject with Angel. He had no intention of frightening off the best thing to ever happen to him on a guess. It took a marked effort for Angel to stay still. Sebastian had been trying to teach him patience, and Angel thought he was slowly making headway by practicing the same mental exercises he did on a photo shoot, but he could not contain the shout of glee when he saw the village. 5
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland “Oh, look, Bastian! It’s like something out of a book. It’s so beautiful.” Some of the roofs were a bright red and blue, standing out against the snow-covered mountains. It had a very Old World feel, with the cobblestone sidewalks, wooden signs hanging outside the shops, and green wreaths strung with little white lights and red bows. “I told you you’d like it.” Sebastian pointed over Angel’s shoulder to an outdoor fireplace in a square. “Sometimes they have hot chocolate there.” Angel grinned and turned his head, giving Sebastian a kiss and a little nip on his lower lip. “Are you going to take me shopping?” “What could you possibly need that you don’t already have?” Angel rolled his eyes. “Loads, I have a mental list. Besides, that’s not the point.” “I’m almost afraid to ask, but what’s the point?” Angel laughed at Sebastian’s dry tone. “Spoiling me. I am very spoil-worthy.” Sebastian laughed, gesturing to the idyllic town around them as the cabbie headed up the mountain to the hotel that presided over the village like some medieval fairytale castle. “This isn’t spoiling you?” Angel grinned widely, snuggling close against his side. “It absolutely is.” “Besides, I could take you shopping or I could show you the main reason I chose this resort.” As he’d expected, Angel perked up, eyes curious and eager. “And what reason is that?” Sebastian trailed a single fingertip down the young man’s smooth, golden cheek. “The hot mineral springs. Which, by the way, 6
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland we have a private one reserved for our entire stay.” He had visions of Angel and he, snow falling, the spring steaming hot and the sex even hotter. Angel shivered inside and immediately forgot about skiing, shopping, or anything else that required clothes. “Sounds like a wet dream,” he murmured and leaned in for a more lingering kiss. “Get me there within an hour and I’ll be your slave boy.” Sebastian’s eyes gleamed a blue to rival the clear winter sky outside. He made Angel hot and weak inside. “Is that your way of saying you’ll do anything I want?” Angel laughed wickedly and turned his head to nip Sebastian’s fingertip. “I’m all yours, Bastian.” It may make him nervous sometimes, but the last things on his mind now were nerves. All he could think of was the promise of pleasure stretching out for hours before them. He didn’t even try asking Sebastian what he had planned. He’d learned it didn’t matter: in the end, it was all fun. Sebastian’s finger trailed lower, gaze dropping to the sleek, slim arch of Angel’s throat. “You’re already all mine, Angel.” He looked back up and smiled. “I do like the idea of an obedient slave boy, though. Does this mean I don’t get to cajole you, imp?” Angel rolled his eyes with a laugh. “I know how much you like it, so if you’d rather a reluctant slave boy….” They’d played that more than once, actually, and Sebastian grinned. “For a change, obedient might be nice. You’re on.” He leaned in and nipped Angel’s sulky lower lip. “Even though I do so adore seducing you into submission, beautiful.” The sulk faded immediately and Sebastian smiled. Underneath all that bravado and confidence, their relationship—and especially 7
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland submitting—was the one area where Angel felt unsure. Sebastian did his best to reassure him as much as humanly possible. “I’m sure you’ll get plenty of opportunity for that as well. We do have a whole week ahead of us.” The holidays would fly by for once. Angel laid his head on Sebastian’s shoulder, watching the scenery as they climbed the mountain. The hotel drew another murmur of pleasure from him. “Beautiful.” Sebastian laughed. “I do like to surround myself with beautiful things.” He slid out of the taxi and summoned a bellhop as Angel bounded out. That was the truth. From Sebastian’s loft, to his studio and all the expensive equipment it held, his lover had only the best. Angel slanted a glance at him through his lashes and refrained from the pithy comment that came to his lips. He’d give Sebastian the best. At least for now, until they both moved on their separate ways. He knew though, that he’d never forget this man and the things he’d taught him. “You’re too quiet. That’s just not natural, Angel.” “Just trying to keep you on your toes, gorgeous.” Angel laughed. Sebastian placed a hand on Angel’s back, ushering him into the hotel lobby. He took a quick kiss from his smiling lips. “Wait here while I go check us in.” Angel nodded and Sebastian left him and the bellboy with their luggage. A few minutes later he had their room keys and returned, taking his lover’s hand. “Come with me.” Angel followed just behind him, the young man scanning the lobby and hotel shop as they passed, a wide smile wreathing his face. “It’s so beautiful, Bastian.” Angel beamed at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek as they stepped into the elevator. “Have I thanked you 8
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland yet for inviting me?” Sebastian chuckled. “You have, but feel free to do so again.” “Wait till we get to our room, gorgeous, and I will,” Angel murmured, his voice soft and seductive. The presence of the bellboy in the elevator with them kept Angel from surrendering to his instincts and giving Sebastian a preview of what was to come. He did have some sense of decorum… sometimes. Which immediately deserted him the moment they stepped into their room. Angel’s eyes widened on a gasp of delight and he pushed by the bellboy to check out each and every luxury the suite offered. He bounded into the bedroom and landed on the oversized four-poster bed, and then immediately hopped up, unable to stay still. “Oh my God, Bastian will you look at these closets?” Angel was impressed that they would hold all of the clothes he had managed to bring. Perfect, he’d been worried about them being crammed into his suitcase for the week. They had also been provided with matching robes. Sebastian leaned against the doorway with a chuckle. “Don’t ever change, Angel.” Angel launched himself at his lover, wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s neck, and heat rushed through him as he kissed Sebastian. He pulled back slowly, capturing Sebastian’s lower lip as he did. “I don’t plan on it.” Sebastian gave Angel a swat on his ass and left him to explore the huge adjoining bathroom while Sebastian went to tip the bellboy and send him on his way. Shutting the door behind him, Sebastian turned and was greeted with a very naked, very beautiful Angel on his knees in front of the double doors that led, he assumed, out to the terrace. 9
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland “Well,” he murmured, shrugging out of his jacket and slowly approaching. “You don’t want to unpack your precious clothes first?” Angel’s eyes sparkled as he looked up through his lashes and shook his head. “I want you, that’s what I want.” Sebastian lifted one brow. “What else do you want?” Angel seemed to know the answer to that question, his smile deceptively demure. “To serve you.” And that wouldn’t be a hardship at all; Sebastian looked so very lickable with his innate confidence and the devilish command in his eyes. A little thrill went through Angel as he made a vow not to balk at anything Sebastian requested. Partially because he was wildly curious to know what his lover would request with this unlimited power at his command, and also because Angel wanted to test himself. Of course, there was the sheer fun factor as well. Angel’s breath quickened and he was hyper-aware of his own nakedness as Sebastian approached him. “Is that what you want, pet?” Another electric shiver rippled through Angel and he wet his lips, tipping his head back to look up at his lover, feeling both powerful and powerless as the words came to his lips without thought. “Yes, Master.” Sebastian’s stomach seemed to leap right up into his throat, making it hard to breathe. His cock surged to full life inside his jeans and he reached down to fist a hand in Angel’s silky, tumbled curls. “You’re wicked,” he said, and Angel all but purred, his eyes hooded and dark with desire. “You like me that way.” 10
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland If that wasn’t the understatement of the century, Sebastian didn’t know what was. He glanced outside, noted the sun beginning to set, and his lips curved. “Go fetch both our robes, pet, and meet me outside at the spring.” “With pleasure.” Angel rose, his heart hammering as went to retrieve the robes. The expression on Sebastian’s face when he’d called him “Master” had gone straight to his cock. And his scalp still tingled in a good way. He filed those reactions away in his thoughts to examine later. Right now he didn’t want to think at all; he only wanted to react. Angel slipped on one robe and folded the other over his arm, taking a deep breath as he exited out onto the terrace. Angel barely felt the cold as he followed the path Sebastian had taken. The hotel hugged the mountain and a stairway wound down to the hot springs, steam rising and swirling with the winter air. Angel slipped through the trees that had been planted for privacy and paused when he caught sight of Sebastian naked in water up to his waist. “If that isn’t the most gorgeous sight in all the world,” Angel murmured, coming forward again to lay Sebastian’s robe down on a low table. He couldn’t take his eyes off Sebastian as he shrugged out of his own robe. He was dying to get his hands on his lover and all that lean muscle. Sebastian held a hand out, drinking in the sight Angel made, naked and flushed, whether from cold or desire or both. The young man took his hand and stepped gracefully into the steaming hot water. The spring itself was natural, though the hotel had altered the surroundings, providing lush foliage now dusted in snow, underwater benches, and smoothing the rocks around the edge with a thick, spongy moss. It was all the pleasures of nature made more comfortable by man. 11
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland Immediately, as always, Angel’s long-fingered hands reached out, intent on touching, but Sebastian shook his head, taking a step backwards. “No.” He could see the sulk that wanted out, but then Angel seemed to remember that he’d promised to be the perfect, obedient slave. Sebastian was, quite frankly, waiting for that façade— however pleasant it might be—to slip, and for his wild boy to come surging out, demanding and climbing all over him. “No?” Sebastian shook his head again. “Not yet. You can touch when you’ve earned the right to do so.” Angel said nothing, blinking as his brows knit. Sebastian’s lips twitched a bit and he tipped his head to one side. “Aren’t you going to ask how you earn it?” The young man nodded, tongue slipping out to lick his full lips. “Yes, Master. How do I earn the privilege?” Sebastian glanced at the horizon over his shoulder. “You see the sun? I’d guess it’s about twenty minutes until it’s fully set. If you can manage not to come before the sun sets, then you may touch me.” And Sebastian was going to do his absolute best to make sure his beautiful, wicked imp didn’t last that long or even close. Angel groaned. “Have I ever mentioned that you’re fucking evil?” As soon as he said it he wondered if that was okay. A perfectly obedient slave would probably never say it, but then again, Angel had never met one. He decided he wasn’t disobeying, just expressing a well-known fact. If anything Sebastian’s smile became even more wicked. “Once or twice.” Angel’s breath caught in his throat as Sebastian reached for him. He found himself perched on the edge of the hot spring, legs dangling 12
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland in the steamy waters, long fingers curling on the rocks in a desperate effort to keep his hands to himself. The bastard could’ve at least bound his hands; this made it that much harder to behave, and Bastian knew it. And he hadn’t even touched him yet other than to put him here. If he managed to make it through the next twenty minutes with his sanity intact, he was going to thwap Sebastian with pillows later on, when he was free to do so. Just wait and see if he didn’t. Sebastian stepped between Angel’s thighs, and Angel moaned, the tension and anticipation awakening a clawing need in him. “If you’re thinking of getting me off through sheer frustration, you might just win.” “Hush, pet.” Then Sebastian’s mouth came down on his in a possessive kiss that melted every bone in Angel’s body. He moaned, breath lost as he kissed Sebastian back, their tongues tangling as he tried to convey how much he yearned to rake his nails down his lover’s back. Sebastian knew. Angel would claw him to ribbons the moment the restriction was lifted, maybe even before if Sebastian pushed hard enough. And oh, he intended to push. He sank back, lowering Angel down into the hot water again and breaking the kiss. “Reach up, hold onto the edge,” he ordered, and he could almost hear the grateful cursing in Angel’s head. Now his imp’s hands were occupied, which would, admittedly, make the nottouching demand a whole lot easier. “See? I’m not a complete bastard.” That statement was proven completely false an instant later when his hands on Angel’s ass under the water lifted him up to the surface and he bent to take his lover’s cock into his mouth and then 13
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland deeper, swallowing every sweet, hard inch of him. Angel shouted, a shudder of pure pleasure racking his body. Even knowing this was what Sebastian had probably intended hadn’t helped him prepare. There was no way he’d be able to hold out until the sun set with Sebastian sucking on his cock. And damn, the man was going to enjoy punishing him. He curled his fingers into the rock, concentrating on the pressure. He wasn’t going to make it an easy win for his Master, and Lord, right now—with the way Sebastian was playing him—he was his Master in every way. And if Angel was going to be punished, he wanted to damn well earn it. “You lied,” he gasped, eyes intent on the wicked glimmer in Sebastian’s eyes. “You are a complete bastard.” Sebastian sucked harder and Angel let his head fall back with a moan of surrender. He could be good. He could be submissive and keep his hands where they were supposed to be. He kept trying to tell himself that, but Sebastian’s hands on his ass and the hot suction of his mouth rivaling the heat of the waters kept distracting Angel from his mantra. Sebastian had no doubt what was going through Angel’s head right at that moment. Cursing, and lots of it, and probably expecting a punishment if, or rather when, he failed. Well, if one could consider being forbidden to touch Sebastian a punishment… Sebastian suspected Angel would consider it exactly that. His hands squeezed the plump curve of Angel’s ass in his palms as he sucked deeper, tongue flicking along the other man’s shaft, tasting the tang of pre-come every time he drew back far enough. His 14
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland eyes stayed open, though, unable to close and miss the vision of Angel, cast golden in the setting sunlight, shrouded in steam from the water, writhing and gripping that rock at the spring’s edge like his life depended on it. Nothing had ever been as beautiful to Sebastian. At least not until the next moment when somehow Angel seemed to surpass his own limits of drop-dead gorgeousness. Angel bit his lip hard and still was unable to stop the whimper from escaping. “Bastian.” What he would have given to dig his hands in his lover’s hair right then, but if he let go of that fucking ledge they’d both go under the water. “Bastian, you’re the most evil, fucking beautiful man….” The steamy air dragged into his lungs and it was like Sebastian even had a hold of him there, as if the man controlled the very air he breathed. Angel moaned, unable to keep still, hips rocking, body twisting and still the sun refused to move any lower. “Oh God.” Sebastian was an addiction. Angel wanted to push him away, say that enough was enough at times, but he could never bring himself to do it. Each encounter, each scene, each damn afternoon they spent just talking strengthened Sebastian’s claim and Angel couldn’t wait until he saw him again. Angel dug his fingers into the ledge until he swore they were going to bleed and still he couldn’t stop the pleasure from rising. “Master,” he cried out, both a curse and a plea. Sebastian’s cock throbbed beneath the water, straining towards Angel. He lifted his head, turning his face into the warm, tender juncture where inner thigh met groin and gave the silky spot a sharp bite.
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Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland “Yes,” he whispered, as Angel cried out, the sound a mewling, frantic tone. “Don’t just say it, Angel. Believe it. Who am I?” The word wasn’t enough, he craved to not just hear it, but to feel it, in every move Angel made, every look he gave him, every touch of those greedy, eager hands that currently clutched the rough rock so desperately. Their eyes met, Angel’s hips twisting in his hands, as if he was trying to get his cock back to Sebastian’s mouth. “W- what? Bastian, please, I can’t fucking… think….” Sebastian’s gaze was intense, eyes narrowing as he lowered Angel’s hips, stepping forward to press the young man back against the edge of the pool, hands coming up to cage Angel’s wrists. Face to face, mere inches apart, Sebastian asked again. “Who am I, Angel?” Awareness dawned and Angel wet his lips, unable to tear his eyes away from Sebastian’s. Somehow the man had gotten inside him, claiming places Angel had always held sacred, and he didn’t know what to think of that. And at the same time he couldn’t ignore the question, not when he was so utterly helpless to Sebastian. It had never been this intense. He’d never let go this much. “My Master,” Angel whispered, his entire body yearning to press himself closer to Sebastian as uncertainty struck him with the truth of that admittance. The possessive expression on Sebastian’s face, the knowing look in his eyes confirmed it. “Please kiss me,” he said even softer, desperately needing to lose himself in the pleasure of Sebastian’s hot mouth on his, their bodies twining together. He could taste Sebastian’s breath on his lips and it wasn’t enough. For a split second Sebastian debated whether to give in to that 16
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland request, whether to let Angel hide. That was what the young man was asking for, to hide after such a naked admission of his own vulnerability. Finally, he nodded, lips curving slightly. “There’s no need to be afraid, my Angel. I promise.” Angel’s face relaxed, his eyes softening, and then Sebastian kissed him, lips slanting over his lover’s and claiming him as thoroughly as he ever had. Angel whimpered into the kiss, arching closer, straining, and his long legs lifted beneath the water to wrap around Sebastian’s hips, clinging tightly to him. His, Angel was his, and Sebastian vowed there’d be no backing down now. Sebastian had kissed him. It didn’t matter that the man still had Angel’s hands caged or that his mouth was demanding more now on his lips than it had on his cock. Sebastian had kissed him. Angel couldn’t escape that thought. Somehow his lover always seemed to know when to push and went to soothe, and damn if he wasn’t doing both right now. Angel’s whole body was heavy with need. Some part of him was aware of the sun sinking, and a lingering wish in the back of his mind to tease Sebastian told him that he was running out of time. But God, Sebastian was kissing him and Angel was so damn helpless under the power of that kiss. When Sebastian broke the kiss and squeezed Angel’s wrists, Angel was trembling all over. He whimpered again as Sebastian’s hands slid down to his ass, lifting him up, and Angel moaned, watching helplessly as Sebastian’s mouth lowered toward his cock, knowing he was going to lose and that there was still a bit of daylight left. Sebastian never got a chance to get his mouth back on Angel, because abruptly one of the young man’s long-fingered hands came 17
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland down and sank into his hair, fisting as Angel arched closer. Punishment for disobeying was the last thing on Sebastian’s mind. Maybe he’d give that sweet ass a spanking later, but the instant Angel’s hand tunneled into his hair, Sebastian released his hold on his lover’s hips and wrapped both arms around him, hauling him away from the edge, up against himself, and took his lips in a hard, possessive kiss. Angel clung, whimpering, arms and legs slung tight around him. Sebastian’s cock surged harder than before and he reached under the water, never breaking the kiss as his fingers sank inside Angel, gently at first but the rough growl in Angel’s throat told him his lover didn’t appreciate the careful penetration. The next thrust of his fingers was hard, deep, and greeted with a rough buck of Angel’s lean hips. Angel moaned, trying to beg for more in the urgent way he kissed Sebastian back, the way he touched Sebastian with greedy hands. It was as if his fingers had been starved for Sebastian, and if he could eat him up by touch alone, he would. His hands caressed Sebastian’s hard shoulders and down the long length of his spine. Sebastian’s fingers tormented him with the possibility of what could be happening. The hard thrusts only set off Angel’s need. He tore his mouth away with a cry, hand fisting once again in Sebastian’s thick hair. “Please, God, Bastian, please, just fucking claim me.” Angel nipped Sebastian’s jaw, the fingers of his other hand raking his lover’s chest. “Who am I?” Sebastian rasped, and Angel shuddered. “My Master. Oh God, you are. Please.” Sebastian growled, withdrawing his fingers and turning to sit on the underwater bench, hissing when Angel tugged his head back and 18
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland attached his lips to his throat. “Oh fuck, ride me, Angel,” he panted, his own hands rough on his lover’s slim hips, fingertips digging into the firm flesh. Angel didn’t have to be told twice, shifting to his knees with a frantic, needy sound. Their eyes met as Angel hurriedly used some lubricant and reached behind him, grasping Sebastian’s cock and guiding it to him. “I’m yours,” he whispered breathlessly as he began to ease back, slowly taking Sebastian inside him. Sebastian shuddered, nodding and sliding his hands up Angel’s back, into his hair, pulling him down for a panting, open-mouthed kiss as inch by inch he sank deeper. “Yes, you are. My Angel.” “You make me crazy,” Angel gasped, biting Sebastian’s lower lip. “I want you so fucking bad I can taste it.” How had Sebastian done that? Somehow over the last few months he’d gotten under Angel’s skin so much that he had to have him, and no amount of reasoning that this wouldn’t last forever could curb his need. “Ride me, my Angel.” Angel’s head fell back as he thrust his hips down and the feeling of being filled up by his Master was so damn good Angel almost came right there. Sebastian’s mouth attacked his throat as Angel began to grind his hips, the other man’s lips and teeth biting and sucking, sending rippling shivers through Angel’s body. “Oh God… oh God… oh God,” he panted with hard, circling thrusts. Fuck, it felt so good. It was well worth the wait, Sebastian thought, and knew damn well that Angel would agree, no matter how much he complained that Sebastian was evil. He grinned and tightened his arms around Angel’s slim waist, hips lifting to meet his lover’s downward thrusts. 19
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland “That’s it,” he murmured, one hand sliding down to cup Angel’s ass, the other up into his tousled hair, damp from the steam and sweat. “Look at me, pet. Look at me.” Angel did, his eyes dilated and hooded, filled with sensual promise, need, and more surrender than Sebastian had ever seen in his stubborn lover before. Sebastian smiled, gently despite the hard, almost brutal fucking. “Good boy,” he whispered, and even amidst the slap of water against flesh and the frenzy of their bodies’ movements, Angel flushed with pride, his whole face softening at the praise. He was so perfect. Angel pressed his forehead against Sebastian’s, breath straining in the steamy air as warmth spread through him. Sebastian had a way of doing that, unraveling his defenses, yet leaving him feeling safe at the same time. Maybe that was a part of this kind of a relationship as well. He’d have to think about that later. Right now, all Angel could concentrate on was the urgent need of their bodies and the way Sebastian was looking at him. It undid him inside. He wasn’t going to last long at all, but fuck, he wanted to last as long as Sebastian wanted him to. “Hurts so good,” he whispered in an unsteady voice. The hard fucking, the aching need, the way Sebastian tore his heart and soul open. “God, please, Bastian.” Sebastian didn’t have to ask what he was begging for. And he was right there with Angel, ready to explode after the foreplay and teasing and the beautiful surrender his lover had given him. He didn’t have a prayer of holding out for long, but he was going to do his damndest, because fuck if it didn’t feel too good to let it end just yet. 20
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland “Hold on for me, Angel, just a little while… You feel too good.” Hot and tight, his movements scorching Sebastian right down to his soul. He had the vague thought that he’d for damn sure never expected this kind of intensity and connection to come from what had begun as a casual fling. Just went to show that you never quite knew where the most innocuous road would lead. Angel nodded, panting hard. “I’ll try… fuck, fuck….” Angel got vulgar when he was close, and Sebastian chuckled, nipping his lip roughly, beginning to lift his hips off the bench to thrust into him harder. “Foul mouth,” he taunted breathlessly, thrusts speeding as the orgasm they’d both been holding off began to break through. A dozen other curse words flooded Angel’s mind, most of them aimed at his lover, but he didn’t have the breath to give voice to them. Angel dug his fingers into Sebastian’s shoulders, biting his lip and struggling to hold on. “God… fucking… damn it.” Sebastian chuckled again, the evil bastard, his hands holding Angel’s hips so hard there were going to be bruises. “Gonna punish you for that mouth of yours,” Sebastian promised. Angel shuddered, the words going straight to his cock as the pleasure spiraled out of control. He dropped his head to Sebastian’s shoulder and bit, tasting salt and mineral water and the inevitable tang that was his lover. “Can’t… fucking… wait….” And damned if Angel knew whether he was talking about the orgasm or the punishment: probably both. The pleasure was a painful edge now and Angel was riding it hard, holding on with the barest damn grip. “God, Master, fucking please.” Sebastian fisted his hand in Angel’s hair, forcing his head up. 21
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland “Don’t look away,” he growled. He wanted to see every flicker of pleasure, every ounce of need, the desperation he could taste on the steamy air clogging his lungs. “Come with me, pet.” The words had barely left his lips before they both did just that. Bodies tightened, breath caught in their throats, eyes locked as Sebastian held onto his lover and plunged into the mindlessness with him. For a second, he was almost afraid he was going to black out, literally seeing stars before his heart seemed to remember how to beat and his lungs to breathe, and he managed the whole while to keep a hold of Angel, who now sagged against him, panting as though he’d just run a marathon. “Oh fuck.” “Sweet fucking Jesus,” Angel breathed. He swallowed hard and rested his forehead against his lover’s. It had never been that intense. The hot water surrounding them added to the floaty feeling inside and his limbs grew heavy and limp. A smile flickered across Sebastian’s lips and he lifted a hand to Angel’s hair. Angel could feel the damp curls plastered to his face; he must look a sexy mess. Sebastian brushed his hair back. “That all you can say?” Angel nodded. “I’m lucky I can fucking breathe.” He knew there was more coming: punishments and conversations, more fucking. But right then he was so content to simply be in Sebastian’s arms with twilight settling in all around them. He brushed a fingertip along Sebastian’s cheek, studying his lover’s face. “I’m sorry. I meant to behave better, I really did, except for the cursing. I meant that.” Sebastian shifted, easing out of Angel and for the first time he 22
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland realized that they hadn’t used a condom. It hadn’t even once occurred to him, so caught up in the intensity, the need, and Angel’s beautiful, beautiful pleading. For a second his stomach sank, that rush of “Oh fuck, what if…?” that was just a fact of life for the last twenty years… but then he stopped. No panicking. They’d talk about it and figure out what to do and where to go together. Because if nothing else in the hour or so since arriving at the hotel, Sebastian had learned what he’d hoped to figure out on this trip. It was time he admitted, to himself at least, that what he had with Angel he didn’t want to be temporary, not anymore. How he was going to break that little gem to his flighty, overlydramatic lover, he wasn’t sure. So he smiled and hugged him gently. “Come on, let’s get inside, imp. You and I need to do another four letter word thing.” Angel grimaced, nose wrinkling. “Talk? Again? I swear to God, Bastian, sometimes I wonder if you don’t watch Oprah when I’m not around or something.” Sebastian laughed and gestured for him to get out of the pool. “Hasn’t your mouth gotten you into enough trouble yet?” “Hardly.” Angel smirked at him and shrugged into his robe, tying the sash tight before handing the other robe to his lover, drinking in the sight of him rising naked from the hot springs. Once again desire pooled in his stomach. Unfortunately, he knew he’d have to wait until Sebastian said what he had to say. Not that he minded Sebastian’s talks, mostly. At least his lover got straight to the point. Angel linked his fingers with Sebastian as they walked past the screening trees. As they started up the stairs, a cold tendril of air touched his face and then another at his ankle. Angel 23
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland shivered and took off up the stairs on a run. “Race ya!” Angel had completely forgotten that they were in the middle of Quebec in the dead of winter. The hot springs had been like being in a fairyland, some place that was all theirs. Sebastian smiled, watching Angel dart up the steps and into the suite. He took his time, grinning when his lover gave him an exasperated look as he stepped inside. “If you get sick I’m not wiping your nose, just so you know.” Sebastian laughed and reached out to catch Angel’s hand, tugging him close and turning his face into the young man’s warm neck, cold nose eliciting a shriek and some epic wriggles from Angel. He lifted his head, still grinning, and slid his arm around Angel’s waist. “Would you make me soup?” Angel rolled his eyes. “I don’t cook, we’ve had this conversation.” After a second, Angel’s eyes softened, lips curving. “I’d order you some from room service, though.” “Romantic,” Sebastian teased, then dropped a kiss onto Angel’s lips. Well… no time like the present, he thought as he lifted his head and their eyes met. “We didn’t use a condom, Angel.” Angel’s jaw dropped and then his brows furrowed. Oh damn, they hadn’t. It hadn’t even occurred to him. He’d needed Sebastian so badly, he’d been so caught up in the moment. He flushed, suddenly feeling ill-at-ease. He knew the image he gave off: flighty, flirty, easy. He may not stay with his lovers for a committed relationship that was heading toward Forever, but when he was with them, he was with them alone. “I’m clean, I swear it Sebastian. I haven’t been with anybody but you since I was last tested.” 24
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland As for worrying about himself, Angel wasn’t. He knew Sebastian well enough to know that the man took care of what was his and for the moment that meant Angel. This talk immediately after just proved it once again. Sebastian would never have risked it if he had a niggling of a doubt about himself. “I can get tested again if you want.” Sebastian took Angel’s hand again and led him over to the couch, sitting down and turning to face him, still holding his hand. He wasn’t normally the hand-holding type, but Angel’s felt good in his own. Like it fit. He wondered if he had a chance in hell of convincing Angel he could fit right into his life as well. Then decided he didn’t need a chance. Angel was his and he wasn’t going to let whatever fears lurked behind that confident, sultry, teasing façade stop him from keeping Angel. “Thank you for offering, but I believe you. I think I know you well enough by now to know you wouldn’t lie about something like that. As for me, I was tested two months ago; you remember I went for a physical?” Angel nodded. “Yeah.” Sebastian tilted his head, his gaze searching. “That’s not why I wanted to talk, Angel. I didn’t think we might have infected each other or something.” “Then why?” Angel’s brows knit in confusion. “Because I think if we’re going to let that happen again, on purpose maybe, then….” Sebastian paused. He wasn’t very familiar with these kinds of “Where is our relationship going?” talks, not being one to actually have relationships very often himself. They were neither of them used to the suggestion of long-term, but it’d been four 25
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland months now and bit by bit things between them were moving well past casual and right into serious. “Then what?” Angel was beginning to look worried, and that was the last thing Sebastian wanted. Best to just dive in. He didn’t do diplomatic very well; blunt was easier. “Then maybe we ought to admit we’re not just playing around anymore, Angel. Maybe we’re doing more than playing.” Angel shifted on the couch, tucking one long leg under him and trying to gather his thoughts. He’d been so grateful to get away for the holidays that it never even occurred to him to ask why Sebastian had suggested it. It was as if suddenly a cage had sprung up, from the way Sebastian held his hand to the way that he was looking at him, so direct, as always. And what really scared Angel suddenly was… he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be free. What had happened to him? Angel pulled his hand back and was grateful that Sebastian let him, even though he knew it had to have stung the other man. It seemed Sebastian always knew when to push him and when to give him his space, and it was because of that side of him that Angel instinctively trusted him. It made him want to lean on him in other ways. “Okay, maybe we’re not.” Angel could admit that much, even though relationships never lasted. He began to toy with the tie to his robe. “But what are we?” He’d been trying to figure that out, how to refer to Sebastian to his friends. He wanted them to see him for who he was, not judge him on the type of relationship they had. “Well, we’re lovers for one.” “Yeah, but I can’t call you that. I mean I do in my head, but that’s 26
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland something intimate; I wouldn’t use that word to talk about you to someone else. I mean, I’d like to think we’re becoming friends on top of the sex.” Some of the tension in Angel’s chest loosened up at Sebastian’s nod. “But I can’t really call you my boyfriend, that doesn’t fit either, and I don’t want to say we have a Master/pet relationship until my friends get to know you so….” Sebastian’s brow raised. “I’m almost afraid to ask, but what do you call me to your friends?” Angel bit his lip. “Ummm, my kinky fuck buddy.” Sebastian frowned, sitting up straighter. “Is that so?” Angel gave him a worried look. “Well, what am I supposed to call you? I don’t know.” A kinky fuck buddy. It was about as flattering as being labeled somebody’s three a.m. guy, the one you call when the clubs and bars don’t pan out and you’re drunk and horny. At the same time, despite being kind of insulted, Sebastian understood the dilemma. He hadn’t even mentioned Angel to his friends, partly because he was private and partly because he didn’t want to admit he had yet to actually secure the young man who’d, let’s be honest, ensnared him. Angel defied capture, it seemed, and this only proved it. Sebastian began to wonder if he’d ever truly have Angel, really hold him, and did he even want to? His freedom, his wild spirit, was a great part of Angel’s charm. “I don’t know, Angel. But I don’t like being called your fuck buddy, kinky or otherwise.” Angel nodded, searching Sebastian’s face. He’d upset him and he hadn’t meant to; sometimes he was irreverent to a fault. “Okay, I won’t then.” 27
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland Sebastian had said they were more than casual, but it seemed that he couldn’t define what they were either. At least he hadn’t tried to say that he loved Angel or something. People who claimed to love you tried to change you. It was like the word “love” gave them the right to pick apart who you were so they could remake you in the image they wanted. “What do you want from me, Sebastian?” This wasn’t about his submission anymore, was it? This was something else, something new. Angel folded his arms around his mid-section, as if trying to hold in the sick churning. What was wrong with him? Where was his fire and sass? How had Sebastian stripped him so bare? For the first time, Sebastian got a glimpse of Angel afraid. He’d seen him a lot of things, a lot of emotions and a lot of moods, but he didn’t think he’d ever seen Angel genuinely afraid before. He didn’t like it one bit. He didn’t say anything, instead moving closer and pulling Angel into his arms. Angel held himself stiff for a split-second, and then seemed to melt against him like the air deflating out of a balloon, and the young man clung to him. After a moment, Sebastian answered Angel’s question. “I care about you, Angel. What I want is to know that it’s mutual. That you’re not going to keep pretending this is casual or simple. I don’t give a damn about labels, call me the Dalai Lama for all I care. Kinky, if you like.” He glanced down at Angel, tipping the young man’s chin up to make him look at him. “And I want to know what has you so afraid that you suddenly can’t even look at me.”
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Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland Angel cared, though he hadn’t realized until that moment that somewhere in the last several months Sebastian had come to matter, when he hadn’t let anyone matter in a very long time. And despite his fear, which was all Sebastian’s fault for bringing this up, his arms felt too damn good to pull away from. “I do care,” Angel admitted in a low voice. “But I don’t do relationships well. I don’t handle ties well at all. It’s not going to work in the long run.” Instead of arguing with him as Angel had expected or getting mad, Sebastian slipped a hand through his curls. “Tell me why you’re afraid, Angel.” “This is the first step in a long fall.” Angel tried to look away, but Sebastian’s eyes compelled him to stay. “Tell me.” Angel shrugged and drew in a deep breath to regain his equilibrium. “I don’t think I can give more than I am. Relationships change people; eventually you’ll start wanting more and you’ll get frustrated that I can’t give it. That’s the way it always works.” Sebastian wanted to find the person, or persons, who had made Angel feel that way and kick their asses. He didn’t know what ghosts were whispering those doubts into Angel’s ear, but he did know one thing. Fighting them wasn’t going to work. He had to drown them out. “Do you remember what I told you months ago? That as long as you try, you won’t be letting me down?” Angel nodded. Sebastian cupped the side of his face, thumb stroking his cheek. “Have I ever asked anything of you that you couldn’t handle? Have I ever asked you to be something or someone you’re not?” 29
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland Angel shook his head, looking like he was ready to protest. Sebastian didn’t let him. “Why would I start now? Why would I want you to change? You were what I wanted the first time I called you up and you still are. Do you think what I want is going to change?” “It happens. People decide they want different stuff, different people, all the time,” Angel insisted, but in his eyes Sebastian could see that he wanted to believe. He nodded. “That’s true. I’m not going to lie to you, Angel; you know me well enough to know that I don’t see the point. The truth is I’m not very good at relationships either. I don’t know how to classify what we are because what we have is very different from anything I’ve ever dealt with before.” He smiled, shrugging slightly. “It’s a bit like the blind leading the blind, trust me I get it, but the way I see it we have two choices.” “What choices?” Angel’s tone was shaky, as if he didn’t really want the answer to that question. But Sebastian was going to answer it. “Well, we either admit that we have no idea what we’re doing but we’re doing it anyway and figure it out together, or—” he cut off, hesitating, and Angel’s face fell a bit. “Or we end it,” Angel finished. “Why can’t we just stay like this, what we have? Why does it have to change?” “Good question. Why does it?” Angel thought about that for a long minute, searching for the trick in Sebastian’s question until he realized there was no trick. “I guess it doesn’t because it already has, hasn’t it? Changed, I mean.” Sebastian nodded. “That it has. Is it really so bad, Angel?” 30
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland “No. I mean….” Angel dragged a hand through his hair. “I just wasn’t expecting this. But I’m more interested in trying and fumbling together than ending it, if that’s what my—our—choices are.” He wasn’t ready to walk away, not yet. But God, please, don’t let Sebastian push for more than that now. “And you promise that you’ll try?” Sebastian asked in that gentle way of his which seemed so at odds with Angel’s first perception of him. There were so many layers to the man and Angel was drawn to them all. “I will.” Which is more than Angel had promised to any other man, ever. “I just want to point out again that I wasn’t expecting this. Not when I first saw you and not when you asked me on this trip either.” “I wasn’t expecting it either, Angel, but it doesn’t have to make it a bad thing, does it?” Angel frowned, then decided he had entirely enough of worrying and feeling vulnerable and turned inside out for one evening. This was his vacation with Sebastian and he wasn’t going to brood and be all emo. Not this year, not this time. “No, I guess not, just promise me no more swerves for a couple weeks.” Sebastian could sense the agitation, and while part of him said leave it alone, most of him said not to. Angel was upset and Sebastian wanted to find out what the source was, otherwise how could he fix it? “You keep saying that, Angel, that you didn’t expect this. What ‘this’ didn’t you expect?” Angel’s eyes narrowed for a second before he looked away. “Any of this. I didn’t expect what started out as a fling, just a bit of fun, to turn into… this.” He gestured with his hands in a frustrated, 31
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland encompassing manner. Sebastian did his best not to take that dismissive attitude personally. “I see. And that bothers you? That it’s not just a fling?” Angel finally looked at him again, and this time it was a full on glare. Well, it seemed he’d touched a serious nerve. “Yes, it bothers me. And it bothers me that I’m getting the feeling you brought me here to, like, ambush me with all the serious talk. I thought this was supposed to be just a fun vacation!” Sebastian exhaled sharply, brows lifting. “Just like I was supposed to be, right? Just a bit of fun?” Angel had the good grace to look chagrined at that. “I didn’t mean it like that.” “I didn’t ask you on this trip to ambush you, Angel. I asked you on this trip because last month when I was out of town I missed you and you said you missed me. And because I wanted to see you in your damn snow-bunny gear. And I wanted to see whether what we have translates out of the loft and the studio and the playroom, into the real world.” So far it wasn’t looking too promising. Angel pushed down his rising anger and tried to make one last stab at easing the mood. Couldn’t Sebastian see how he needed the lightness and easiness of their relationship before this talk? They could deal with the heavy stuff after the holidays were over with. God damn it, he was supposed to be thwapping Sebastian with a pillow now for being such a wicked bastard earlier, and Sebastian was supposed to be punishing him for cursing him out and forgetting that he wasn’t allowed to touch. And now it was all mixed up when Angel needed so very much for it to be calm. He wanted to beg Sebastian to just drop it for now, to let this trip be the escape he needed, but he 32
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland was tiring of doing so and Sebastian pushing just a little bit more. He couldn’t give anymore than he already had today, not right now. “For the record, my snow-bunny gear kicks fucking ass.” Angel drew in another breath, but it didn’t stop his trembling inside. “I told you that I’d try. What else do you want?” Sebastian frowned. “It’s not that I want more from you, Angel, it’s that I don’t understand why we can’t just talk. You’re upset and I don’t like it and I want to know why. You’re telling me it bothers you that we’re veering out of casual and into new territory but you haven’t told me why other than that you think I’ll want to change you. And I’m supposed to just drop it?” “Yes!” Angel all but shouted that and Sebastian stilled, giving him a long, steady look. “Don’t raise your voice to me, Angel.” “Then stop pushing at me, Bastian. Just leave it alone.” But he couldn’t. Angel was hurting under all that anger and that was impossible to ignore. “I can’t.” Angel had asked, God damn it, he’d asked Sebastian to stop pushing him and still he’d done it. He could get down on his knees and beg and it still wouldn’t make any difference to the stubborn ass. Angel wasn’t any man’s emotional punching bag and right now he was more than bruised and battered. He jumped up, tightening the tie around his robe, feeling utterly ridiculous in the terrycloth with his hair a drying mess around him and Sebastian looking at him with oh-so-steady cool blue eyes. Like a God damn rock. Never mind that Angel really needed a rock to cling to. This one would batter him to pieces. “Well, if you won’t leave it alone, then I will. Leave you alone, too, 33
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland while I’m at it.” With that, Angel stormed out of the room, at the last minute heading outside for the hot springs instead of out in hall where the only place he’d really have to go was the lobby with the mocking Christmas decorations and all the people in their ha-ha happy moods. They could all kiss his ass. Especially Sebastian. Sebastian flinched at the rattling slam of the etched glass doors leading out to the deck and down to the hot spring. He half-expected the glass to shatter, but it didn’t. He exhaled slowly, scrubbing a hand over his face. His first instinct was to follow his lover. But right on the heels of that thought was the realization that if he did, the next time Angel stormed out it might not be out of the room, it might be out of his life. Choose your battles, he told himself. So instead he pushed to his feet and went to get dressed. Then he pulled the thick, warm comforter off the bed and waited. He’d give Angel some time, but then he would go after him. Sitting on the edge of the bed, the comforter folded beside him because damn it, it was cold out and Angel was only wearing a robe, Sebastian waited, doing his best to not give in to his own doubts and questionings. One of them had to be sure, right? Angel didn’t even feel the deep cold of the night air until he’d stalked past the trees around the hot springs and the steamy air enveloped him. He didn’t know why the fuck he’d come out here. He should’ve gotten dressed and left, only Sebastian would’ve stopped him and trapped him, just like he’d tricked him into coming in the first place. 34
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland He plopped himself down on a bench beside the now-delicatelylit spring and crossed his arms. Now he was stuck. He should’ve fucking known better. Who asks somebody on vacation at Christmas without intending some kind of romantic trap? He should’ve known ahead of time that Sebastian didn’t mean for it to be just a pleasure jaunt. The steam eddied and the water gurgled as Angel stared into the dark depths of the pool. He stood up and lifted the robe around his thighs then sat down on the edge, sticking his feet in the hot water. Fuck, they were cold, and the sudden heat of the water made his toes tingle. He’d probably need a new pedicure now too. He should be up there now, laughing with Sebastian, instead of sitting here alone in the cold and the dark. Angel kicked at the water. And he’d been having such a good time earlier, too, with Sebastian being so freaked out on the plane, then coming down here with him. It had been so good to be in the moment, and when Angel had let go for him the sex had been fucking mind-blowing. Fuck. Why had Sebastian chosen that moment to decide they needed to talk about their feelings and their future? It was the fucking condoms’ fault. He should have brought down a whole pack of them. As Angel swung his legs in the water and bitched in his head, the anger started to leech away. He never could stay angry long, though he could hold onto a sulk with the best of them. He sighed and picked at the sash of his robe, debating whether or not to take it off and sink into the hot water, just to let himself float and not think. But he didn’t want to float and not think. He wanted to be back up inside the suite with Sebastian. And why hadn’t the man come out and yelled at him yet for storming off like a child? Because, a small 35
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland voice said, he’s giving you the space you demanded. Angel hadn’t begged Sebastian to stop pushing him; no, he’d demanded it. Would it have been different if he had asked? He hadn’t even really told Sebastian why it was too much at the moment, that he just needed a little bit of time to get his feet back under him, preferably until the stupid holidays were over. He’d just assumed that Sebastian ought to know. His lover seemed to know everything. And that wasn’t fair either. Sebastian was human too. Angel bit his lip before it could form a pout. When did his subconscious start defending Sebastian? He knew why it was, though. Because Sebastian was not the kind of person to trick a man into a trip just so he could spring a relationship on him. Sebastian was too damn straightforward and blunt for those kinds of games. If Sebastian had been thinking there was more to them and hadn’t said anything, Angel was sure it was just because he hadn’t been sure himself. Angel sighed. Why did it have to have come up at this time of year? Three weeks from now and he probably would’ve handled it much better. Sebastian’s timing sucked. Sebastian stood at the bottom of the steps, watching Angel swing his feet in the hot spring and sulk. Damn it, the man was beautiful even when he was sullen. He sighed and approached, shaking out the comforter he carried and bending to tuck it around Angel silently. His lover glanced up at him, dark eyes confused and sad, and Sebastian forgot about being hurt by Angel’s tantrum and crouched down beside him. “Hi.” Angel sniffed a little. “Hi.” 36
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland Sebastian didn’t say anything else, shifting to sit beside him and wrapped one arm across Angel’s shoulders, rubbing lightly as the young man hugged the comforter closer around him like a shield. Angel wanted to curl into Sebastian’s warmth, close his eyes and rest his head on Sebastian’s shoulder and just let his presence ease him, but he couldn’t. “You’re fucking loco you know that? For wanting something more with me. I’m a wreck.” Oh, but damn, Angel wanted it, wanted to at least try even though it terrified him. How could he deny it, even to himself, when Sebastian came down with a damn blanket and sat down next to him without a word and Angel’s heart just thumped right out of his chest and into the man’s hands? Sebastian wasn’t even speaking now and the words just spilled out of Angel. “I’m sorry. I seem to be saying that a lot tonight, which is crazy because I never say it, but I am… sorry, I mean.” Jesus, now he was babbling like an idiot. “I hate this time of year, it makes me all emo and tied up inside even when I try to ignore it. I didn’t mean to get all upset and act like a prissy bitch.” “You say that like it’s an act,” Sebastian teased quietly, and it got the smile he’d hoped for from Angel. “Yeah, well. I’m still sorry.” Sebastian nodded. “I know. I don’t like this time of year either.” He wasn’t any better at opening up than Angel was, but he couldn’t exactly ask his lover to reveal himself without doing the same in return, even a little. “Why not?” Angel glanced sideways at him, looking like he didn’t believe Sebastian had a single care in the world heavier than what film to use for his next shoot. 37
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland “It’s lonely.” He shrugged, watching the steam rise from the water. “My parents died when I was in college, and I was an only child…. Christmas is about family. I haven’t had one since I was twenty.” He looked over at Angel. “That’s why I invited you up here with me instead of going surfing like I usually do. I thought maybe… well, you never mentioned your family or holiday plans, so I figured you probably had your own sad tale and we could keep each other company. Not be lonely. That was the main reason, I swear, not to trick you or anything.” “That’s why I latched on so quickly about going with you,” Angel said. “I didn’t want to be alone again, though the thought of skiing was an extra bonus. My friends and I usually head out somewhere, but I’ll admit I’d rather be here with you than out with them.” He studied Sebastian’s face and leaned in a little closer to his lover. “I’m sorry about your parents. You must miss them very much.” Sebastian’s jaw squared and he nodded. When he answered, his voice was rough. “Yeah, I do.” “I don’t miss mine. That’s pretty fucked up, don’t you think? I don’t miss them at all. I could care less about what they’re thinking or doing. Other than maybe, once in awhile, when an extra special fucking awesome picture of me comes out and I know that it would just piss them the fuck off if they could see it.” Angel kicked the water again, furious at himself for letting it bother him all over again. “You know the phrase I hate most in this world? ‘Because I said so.’ It’s just bullshit. I have an opinion too.” Sebastian’s lips twitched. He could just see Angel as a little boy, mop of dark curls, stubborn jaw jutted out, daring anyone to tell him what to do. He was still that way, come to think of it.
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Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland “Of course you do. So your parents don’t approve of your modeling? The type or that you do it, period?” Angel shrugged, rolling his eyes. “It doesn’t matter.” Sebastian disagreed. He also disagreed with the assertion that Angel didn’t care what his parents thought. Angel cared. He hurt because he cared. But Sebastian had done enough pushing for one night. “My parents thought photography was frivolous.” Angel’s eyes widened and he glanced over at him. “They did? Weren’t you furious?” “Sure, at first. I was fifteen, my grandfather had given me this old Kodak of his, and I fell in love, head over fucking heels. My parents weren’t too pleased when suddenly ‘I want to be an architect’ turned into an obsession with taking silly pictures all the time.” He smiled. He hadn’t thought about his parents, really thought about them, in a long time. “They eventually accepted it though, once they realized I wasn’t going to require their approval to do what I wanted. Yours never did? Accept it, I mean?” Angel laughed and hated how bitter it sounded. No matter how much he’d sworn he’d put it behind him, every once in awhile it came out and sucker-punched him. He sighed. “Sebastian, they never could accept anything about me. My grades were never good enough. I never dressed they way they wanted, studied the way they wanted me to study. Oh, and I definitely wasn’t appreciative enough either. And the more they demanded that I do things their way, the more unapologetic I became about being who I was.” “Oh, I have no doubt.” Angel looked at Sebastian, saw the calm understanding there and damn if it didn’t make all of his defenses crumble. “I tried. I swear to 39
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland God I tried, at first… until I realized it didn’t matter what I did, it would never be enough.” He looked away and shrugged. “And when I got old enough, I left. I knew what I wanted to do. I’d always wanted to model. I didn’t care what kind. So I saved every penny I got and I left.” He’d been seventeen and a prideful idiot, but he’d made it without their help or their Goddamn approval. Angel laughed again, this time it was warmer. “They would’ve hated you. How sure and confident you are.” Sebastian snorted. “From the sound of it, I’d have hated them too.” Angel sighed, leaning into him and laying his head on Sebastian’s shoulder. It felt nice there. Hell, Angel felt nice, right where he was. Just right. “How do you do that?” “Do what?” Sebastian asked. “Be so damn sure of yourself. It’s like you have this path and this goal at the end and nothing stops you. You just go and get there and never question whether you can.” Angel sighed. “I question all the time.” Sebastian chuckled dryly. “I’m not as sure of myself as you seem to think. I just spent the last twenty minutes sitting on the edge of the hotel bed wondering what the hell I was doing, whether I’d blown it with you.” Angel’s head lifted and he gave Sebastian an incredulous look. “You did not.” Sebastian laughed, a real one this time. “I did. And do you know how many times I question and wobble and try to decide when to push, when to back off, when to test a limit? Being a Dom, being your 40
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland Dom, isn’t about having all the answers all the time, Angel.” “What do you think it’s about?” Angel asked, his eyes curious, like he wondered what exactly Sebastian got out of their relationship. If he had to ask, Sebastian figured he must not be doing a very good job of showing him. “It’s about making sure you’re getting exactly what you need. Trying to read you, listen to you, even what you don’t say, and make the right choices. I’m not perfect, pet; I’m not going to get it right a hundred percent of the time. And it’s about needing something that only you can give me.” Angel’s whole face softened, his entire demeanor, and Sebastian wondered if Angel already knew what that was. “What is it you need, Bastian?” “You.” Angel laughed a shaky little laugh and he turned toward his lover, sliding his arms out of the coverlet and winding them around Sebastian’s neck. Who knew his lover had a romantic streak that made Angel warm up and melt inside? “You have me, Bastian. I swear you do.” Sebastian smiled, slow and sexy and Lord, it made Angel’s heart beat faster. “So does this mean we’re going with Plan A?” Angel nodded and brushed his mouth over Sebastian’s. “Yes, I want to try fumbling through it with you.” Just the fact that Sebastian admitted he didn’t have all the answers and that his lover wasn’t afraid to show his insecurities made Angel want to give Sebastian everything he had in his power to give. As much as the idea of being in a relationship scared him, right now the alternative was much worse. He did not want to walk away, 41
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland leave Sebastian behind without at least trying. He didn’t want to live with the what-ifs. “What do you need, Angel?” Sebastian slid his fingers through Angel’s hair, his mouth so close, and Angel wanted to melt into him. “I don’t know what to call it, but it’s what you give me when I’m with you. How you tie me up and make me free, how you rip me open and soothe me at the same time. I guess what I’m trying to say in my fucked up way is that I need you too.” Sebastian let out a breath and kissed him, relieved. Angel was volatile, he was unpredictable, and Sebastian hadn’t been sure his lover would be willing to buck the status quo. Maybe he should have known better, since it seemed like Angel had been bucking since day one. Breaking the kiss, Sebastian pushed to his feet, reaching a hand down to help Angel up. “Come on, grab the comforter. We’ve had enough talking for one night, I think.” Angel let out a dramatic sigh. “Oh thank God. Now what?” Sebastian glanced back over his shoulder, grinning wickedly. “Now, you have punishment coming your way.” Angel grinned as well, snatching up the thick blanket. “Right behind you!” Not for long, Sebastian thought with a smirk. * * *
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Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland
II IT’D been a long time since Sebastian had really looked forward to Christmas morning. Even as a kid he’d stopped believing in Santa Claus by age five and that killed a lot of the magic. This morning, though, it felt like a good bit of that magic was back. He smiled as he set the breakfast he’d ordered out on the table— covered dishes and a carafe of fresh juice—and then placed Angel’s present on one fine china plate. He could just imagine the look on his lover’s face when he got a glimpse of the signature blue of the Tiffany box. But first, Sebastian had to wake him. He headed across to the bedroom and leaned against the doorframe, admiring the sight before him. Angel was, without a doubt, the most sensual creature he’d ever known. Even sound asleep, he radiated eroticism. Golden nude, sprawled atop the sheets, blanket tangled low around his hips, and dark hair a tumble of curls on the crisp white pillowcase. “Angel,” he murmured, eyes raking over his lover. “Wake up, imp.” Angel yawned and stretched, coming out of the light doze he’d been in. He’d woken up when Sebastian had left the bed, but he’d been too comfortable to move. He wasn’t really that inclined to do so now. 43
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland “It’s too early to get up,” he murmured, raising his head and looking at Sebastian over his shoulder. “Why don’t you come join me instead?” Sebastian smiled in a way that made Angel’s heart flip. He really was gorgeous with his dark blue eyes and rugged features, but that was only half the attraction for Angel. The rest was the way Sebastian carried himself, the innate command in the way he leaned against the door and studied him. It made Angel shivery inside. “Not this morning, imp.” Then Sebastian walked toward the bed and Angel rolled over and reached for him, lifting his head for a kiss. He had gotten used to waking up next to his lover over the last several days. It was a nice feeling. “Merry Christmas,” Sebastian said as their lips parted. Angel realized with a jolt that it really was Christmas. And he’d woken up in a good mood. Angel smiled slowly. Wow. He was really looking forward to the day—how strange and welcoming. “Yeah, Merry Christmas. I think that doubly calls for a morning in bed.” Sebastian stole another kiss, but then shook his head. “No. Come on, I ordered breakfast. I also fully intend on getting us out of this room and you into your snow-bunny gear today. Come on, up.” Angel wrinkled his nose and stretched one more time before he sat up and rubbed his hands through his hair. “I happen to have liked the past three days, holed up in this lush suite naked and sated in between fucking.” Sebastian chuckled. “As have I. But we could have done all that back in Vegas, so come on, up and eat and we should have the slopes to ourselves this afternoon.” He handed Angel the other fresh robe, lips twitching at how adorable he looked bundled up in it, and then took his hand, leading 44
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland him out into the main room and gesturing to the dining area. “Go on and have a seat; I ordered for you.” He watched, waiting, realizing he hadn’t been this excited to give anyone anything in a very long time. Angel’s gaze fell on the distinctive blue box on his plate and his eyes widened in shock. Then he jumped forward to grab it with a shout of surprise. “You got me a present? You didn’t have to—not that you can take it back now,” he laughed, his words tumbling over in his excitement. He felt a little squirm of guilt for not having given Sebastian anything in return. He’d intended on looking, he really had, but the last three days had been so magical that it had slipped his mind. Angel threw his arms around Sebastian’s neck and gave him a hard kiss as his lover laughed. “Are you going to open it or are you going to flail around the room?” Sebastian teased. “Both. A Tiffany’s box definitely calls for both.” It was a flat box about as long as his palm and Angel tucked one leg under him and sat down on the chair, his heart beating faster as he opened the box slowly, savoring the moment. Nestled in the pure white cotton was an elegant platinum ID bracelet with a gorgeous pattern of links, both strong and graceful at the same time. “It’s gorgeous.” Angel picked it up to admire the way the light played on it and his heart about stopped when he saw the inscription. Bastian’s Angel. “Oh God, Bastian, it’s perfect.” Sebastian grinned, and let out an ooomphh as Angel launched himself out of the chair and into his arms, squeezing him tight and pressing a loud, smacking kiss to his cheek. “Well, I’m glad you like it,” Sebastian deadpanned, turning his face into Angel’s neck. More than glad, really. He’d spent a lot of time finding just the right gift, and it 45
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland was nice that it’d paid off. The absolute glee on Angel’s face was worth every penny the bracelet had cost. Lots and lots of pennies. “‘Like’ is a complete understatement!” Angel squeezed him one more time then took a step back, bouncing as he held the bracelet out. “Here, help me put it on, my hands are all unsteady, darn you.” A second later the platinum gleamed on Angel’s slim wrist and Sebastian nodded. “It looks good on you. I knew it would.” His lips quirked and he glanced up to meet Angel’s eyes. He just had to tease. “So… where’s my present?” Angel pouted as once again the guilt struck, this time even more squirmy. He really should’ve insisted Sebastian take him down to the village so he could look, but it had never even occurred to him that Sebastian would get him something, it really hadn’t. He slipped his arms around Sebastian’s neck and nuzzled his lips. “I am a wicked, wicked man for not having one for you.” He’d have to find a way to make it up to his lover, though giving back the bracelet was not an option. “You didn’t get me anything?” The mock hurt in Sebastian’s eyes was awful of him and Angel gave him a shove. “You’re the worst tease ever, I swear, Bastian. You know I didn’t.” Then he just softened inside, thinking about everything Bastian had given him over the days that they had been there, things far more profound than a gorgeous bracelet. He’d given him a peace of mind that he hadn’t had in many years and the security that Angel craved. “Thank you, for everything, for being you and for being here with me today.” Angel smiled and kissed Sebastian slowly. “I’ll make up for the lack of prezzies later.” 46
Northern Exposure * Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland Sebastian grinned, unable to manage pretending to be disappointed. He hadn’t expected Angel to get him anything, especially when Angel had made it clear he’d assumed the vacation wasn’t about the holiday, but instead just a fun getaway. He hadn’t been able to resist teasing him, though, just to see the sparks in Angel’s eyes. He caught his lover around the waist and nipped his pouty lower lip. “I think you’re going to make up for it now,” he whispered, then claimed Angel’s mouth in a heated kiss as he began walking him backward toward the bedroom. They might make it to the bed, they might not, but without a doubt this was already the best Christmas Sebastian had had in years. He was a hundred percent sure Angel would agree.
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Got Mistletoe Madness?
The Dreamspinner Press 2009 Advent Calendar is available at http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com.
Don’t Miss Read more about Sebastian and Angel in “Exposure,” in the Sindustry II anthology, and “Maximum Exposure,” in the Games in the Dark anthology, both published by Dreamspinner Press.
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com
Coming in Spring 2010 Art of Exposure by Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland, a collection of four short stories about Sebastian and Angel. Published by Dreamspinner Press.
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com
M ARGUERITE LABBE has been accused of being eccentric and a shade neurotic, both of which she freely admits to, but her muse has OCD tendencies, so who can blame her? Her husband and son do an excellent job keeping her toeing the line, though. Together with her co-author Fae Sutherland, Marguerite has found a shared passion for beautiful men with smart mouths. When she’s not working hard on writing new material and editing completed work, she spends her time reading novels of all genres, enjoying role-playing games with her equally nutty friends, and trying to plot practical jokes against her son and husband. Her son is learning the tricks too quickly and likes to retaliate. You’d think she’d learn. Visit Marguerite's web site at http://chasethedream.net/.
F AE SUTHERLAND writes exclusively M/M erotic romance of the “sexier the better” variety. She currently resides in the nation’s capital with two polar opposite kitties, a laptop named Pocket and her hetero lifemate of three wonderful years. When not tapping away at the keyboard on new books for her readers, Fae spends her time playing Sims, indulging in mindless reality TV, and dabbling in web site/graphic design. You can e-mail Fae at
[email protected] and visit her web site at http://chasethedream.net.
Northern Exposure ©Copyright Marguerite Labbe and Fae Sutherland, 2009 Published by Dreamspinner Press 4760 Preston Road Suite 244-149 Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. Cover Art by Paul Richmond http://www.paulrichmondstudio.com Cover Design by Mara McKennen This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the publisher. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 4760 Preston Road, Suite 244-149, Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ Released in the United States of America December 2009 eBook Edition eBook ISBN: 978-1-61581-323-0
