Restless Shadows

MIDNIGHT SHOWCASE Special Edition

RESTLESS SHADOWS by

Jennifer Cloud

Vol: 05-04 MIDNIGHT SHOWCASE www.midnightshowcase.com

RESTLESS SHADOWS Published by MIDNIGHT SHOWCASE PO Box 726 Lusk, WY 82225-0726 www.midnightshowcase.com

Copyright © 2005 by Jennifer Cloud

Names, characters and incidents depicted in this book are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or the publisher. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

ISBN 1-4116-4251-1 ISSN: 1555-5488

Credits Cover Artist: Scott Carpenter Editor: Jewel Adams Copyeditor: Regan Taylor

Printed in the United States of America

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***Fantasies to Suspense, Jennifer Cloud always delivers the unexpected!*** THE FLYERS ISBN 1-59578-120-X (electronic) They’re coming. Flying creatures filling the night and they’re looking for a woman. If she doesn’t return with them, the world will end. Blackness and rot will take over the land and nothing will survive. The woman is an immortal named Anzele, a wingless flyer banished for not accepting an arranged marriage. She didn’t realize that her energy fed the cancerous rot unmaking existence. All she wanted was freedom and the chance to find love. When banishment didn’t break her, Anzele’s mother sent flyers to retrieve her disobedient daughter. Anzele can’t fight the men coming for her. Instead, she claims that she has promised herself to another. Enter Vincent, a human. He can’t let this beautiful woman be taken against her will. Although he claims to be her fiancé, the flyers wait until dark and kidnap the woman who has intrigued him. He must face his fears and prejudice to decide whether to save her. Of course Anzele could never be his wife. Humans kill flyers for fear of their dangerous power and ravenous appetites. 41/2 stars from eCataromance.com 4/5 stars from JERR Read reviews and excerpts at www.JenniferCloud.com SEASON OF THE SHIFTERS ISBN 1-59578-144-7 (electronic)

In a time of unrest between the species, three children, born from deception, will trigger a series of events that lead to the birth of an evil army set out to destroy the flyers. Their father, Liking, a flyer, will do everything in his power to protect his children, especially from their dangerous shape shifter mother, Lynn. In order to save the lives of his son and two daughters, Liking enlists the help of a woman named Sarah. But Sarah is more 3

RESTLESS SHADOWS than she seems and the two of them form an unbreakable bond that only incites Lynn further. Lynn, the sole surviving shape shifter, is determined to save her species from extinction, but when Liking deceives her and takes all three of their children, her priorities change from survival to destruction. Two witches unknowingly help Lynn create an army of pure evil. With the destruction of the flyers imminent, help will come from an unexpected source, but will it be too late for Liking, Sarah, the children, and the survival of all the species? Check out book two of The Flyers. Read reviews at www.JenniferCloud.com

IN HER SIGHTS ISBN 1-59088-493-0 (electronic) ISBN 1-59088-562-7 (print)

Caitlin Harris received a phone call early in the morning that her sister, Janet, had been kidnapped and her life hasn't been the same since. The chase begins as Caitlin's life is threatened while she searches for her sister. The cops start to believe Caitlin is involved in her sister's disappearance. Detective Nathan Donaldson isn't sure what to think about the beauty he's been assigned to. The clues point to her guilt but his gut tells him that she's innocent. A good girl gone bad, money, and surprises around every turn. Read reviews and excerpts at 5 Hearts “…one big roller coaster ride…” -RomanceJunkies

5 Angels“…could not move from page to page fast enough...”Fallen Angel Reviews www.JenniferCloud.com PERFECTION Part of Midnight Showcase Erotic-ahh Digest Vol 05-01 4

RESTLESS SHADOWS ISBN 1-4116-3249-4 (print) ISSN#1555-5496 (electronic)

What would you do if your lineage made you a target? Allie's mother was kidnapped because of who and what she was. It's up to Allie to rescue her, no matter what the cost. Only for her plan to work, she has to sacrifice an old love. http://www.MidnightShowcase.com 5 Hearts from LoveRomances.com 4 Ribbons from RomanceJunkies.com www.JenniferCloud.com DARK MINDS Part of Midnight Showcase Erotic-ahh Digest Vol 05-02 ISBN 1-4116-4170-1 ISSN#1555-5496 Everyone wants everlasting love. Some have a higher price to pay. Heather learns that cost as her haunting lover takes his bride. http://www.MidnightShowcase.com www.JenniferCloud.com

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Chapter One Anna looked down at the white scars that criss-crossed over her wrists. They started just below her hand in short horizontal lines. The track faded as it approached her elbow, lost forever in the meatier part of her arm. There were four or five silvery-white marks on both arms that grew small and wrinkled over the seven years she’d had them. “Fun, fun,” she mumbled as she dotted the flesh tone makeup over the right one. “Must cover up the fun.” She rubbed the smeary goop into the lines, only mildly covering the faded marks. It took a few moments for the liquid to dry, so she finished the left one and sat in front of the mirror, elbows on the table, palms facing up, looking at herself. There was something that captivated her when she did that, like looking at her evil twin through some portal that separated this world from that. She studied her twin, the brown hair that fell an inch below her shoulders and hung in waves around her face. Her eyes were nearly as dark as her hair, but upon closer examination they grew green with mild brown bursts surrounding the cornea. “So what have you been up to?” she asked herself and smiled. Her reflection didn’t answer. It only mimicked her actions. She felt hatred while staring idly at her own eyes. There were a thousand things she’d change about herself if she could. Her chest wasn’t big enough, her hips were too wide, and there were a hundred minor imperfections only she could see, but that’s how it worked. She knew most people overlooked her flaws. They’d even go as far as to tell her how pretty she was, but those were the same people who never saw her scars. 6

RESTLESS SHADOWS She put her wrists down and started to powder them lightly in the same flesh tone color as the make-up. The scars had become her little secret. Something only she and her parents knew about. Of course there were the doctors she’d seen when it had happened, but they quickly forgot in the mad rush to help another lost child and boost their egos another mile. Her parents never spoke of it. To them, the scars marked a terrible truth to their lacking ability in raising a child. The small pin thick lines were her secret, like the smile she used to hide her real feelings, or the way she always pretended to be interested, happy, and okay. In a way she enjoyed looking at them. It seemed fitting to carry around a shameful trophy of failure. Sometimes she believed it changed her. It reminded her of every goal she’d ever had and the one she hoped to complete with the help of the professor. She finished her ritual by putting on her silver bangles. In the bathroom light they glittered as she twirled them on her arm. Her eyes caught the sparkle in the mirror and her gaze fell once more to the reflection. The twin stared back, looking mildly amused at her performance. “Somehow I think we landed in the wrong worlds, but who’s the evil twin.” Her eye winked in the reflection and Anna felt herself reaching out to touch the image. She moved unconsciously, but felt a weird kind of bewilderment when her fingers felt the smooth glass. Part of her expected the flesh of fingers to greet hers, as if by standing there she unlocked some mythical puzzle and actually faced a twin who mimicked her. “I’m not that crazy.” She laughed. “Not yet at least.” Then in answer to her statement, the mirror image shifted. The change was subtle and something she would have never noticed if she hadn’t been standing so close with her hand touching the surface. It appeared to Anna, as if her reflection switched feet or changed its balance from one side to the other. Instinctively she drew her hand back, fearing that this was a window she stood in front of and at any moment that twin would 7

RESTLESS SHADOWS grab her hand, lace its reflected fingers around her own, and jerk her to the other side. “Too much caffeine. Got the eyes jumpy.” She managed another nervous laugh. It had been a long time since she’d seen things move that shouldn’t, a very long time. Most people would consider themselves insane if a mirror shifted or the shadows looked with eyes of their own, without the help of LSD or some other college town hallucinogen. There was a time that she did doubt her sanity. There was a time when she worried about it. Those times passed. She no longer respected the laws of physics or the definable things people labeled, in order to put them into place. Those things meant little to her, except as an example of the lie people place so their minds can absorb things rationale can’t explain. Of course, she understood all people were capable of a little distorted thinking, but the older a person grew the more the childhood abandoned magic, Santa Claus, and hope fell away to the adult world of reasons and explanations for everything. Even now her mind tried to reason out the shift she saw. It could have been her body moving without her being aware, or a bump unfelt by her that made the image contort. She shook her head and dismissed the excuse. Only unobservant people made up lies for what the eyes could see. She was not blind like the rest. Her skills of observation were quite good and well used. She knew the shadows held eyes because she’d seen them, and even more importantly, she knew what those shadows were capable of doing. With this she winked at herself again. This time the mirror obeyed perfectly. It gave her some hope that there were simple explanations an imaginative person might overlook. Inside she knew that was the real reason she wanted to go on this trip. She wanted a logical explanation that could take away all the things she thought she’d seen at sixteen. Was there really a shadowy beast that loved her as she bled? 8

RESTLESS SHADOWS The questions would be answered in the catacombs. If there was nothing there, or if the others didn’t see anything, then perhaps she did go insane and held on to tragedy like a dream, letting it pervert her mind with images that couldn’t be. At least she would know. There was something special in knowing. Some people never wanted to know the truths, finding fantasy much easier to reckon with, but she was different. She’d been different since she made those marks at sixteen. She’d called on death and it changed her, molested her, and stole her virginity by taking away an innocence she could never reclaim.

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Chapter Two “I don’t know what I can remember. Everything happened so fast. There was nothing anyone could do.” Nick looked at his trembling hands. He took a deep breath and sat upright in the old cloth covered chair. His muscles tightened, straining beneath the button-down shirt, while his thighs ached from the stress. This was going to be harder than he’d realized, murder usually was. “I don’t see any reason to talk about it.” Dr. Brenda Giovanni studied him through wire rimmed spectacles as if trying to tear him apart layer by layer. Her brown hair, frosted gray by time, framed her features “I know a lot of time has passed, but try to tell me everything you can remember.” She held a black pen in hand ready to write down the smallest fallacy that could hint to his disorder. Nick shut his eyes. He wiped away the sweat creeping across his forehead. The air conditioner ran continuously from the overhead vent, but he couldn’t feel it. All he felt were the doctor’s eyes. Those damn records followed him everywhere. He was a loaded gun, and nobody knew when he was going to go off. The ‘disturbed’ label had been placed on him early. Deeply buried memories hurt to uncover. One single moment in his life changed everything. There was no point in pretending it hadn’t. Reliving that night to please some professor seemed sadistic, but unfortunately necessary. He opened his eyes and began retelling the story. His first memory was clear, that horrible man and the gun, but he couldn’t start there. “We had been watching the old black and white version of The Fly.” Nick could still hear his sister’s voice echoing from the dark recesses of his mind. “I loved my sister but we fought like 10

RESTLESS SHADOWS all siblings. I started making fun of her boyfriend. He was an awful kid, gangly with zits. His name was Phillip but the kids had donned him fill ‘em up instead.” He smiled, but the expression grew to a twisted version of happiness. “I only did it to make her mad. It usually worked.” “Keep going,” the doctor urged. But he didn’t want to. Everything changed so suddenly, so completely and he didn’t want to revisit the haunted place in his mind. He didn’t want to hear his sister’s final pleas or see the man’s eyes. Then he felt it coming, like a flood of emotion and pictures churning too fast to stay in order. More from the past came rushing back, and he hoped he could hang on long enough to get out of this office. He’d spent too much time here, staring at a brocade rug the shrink brought in for a homey feel in her university office. There were two leather chairs in the room, a cloth couch, shrink standard issue, and a few cloth covered straight back chairs. These simple amenities held his attention as he shuffled through the story. “I started picking on her. Gwen had countered my kissing noises and remarks with a reminder of the boogey man.” This mythical creature haunted Nick’s thoughts. At five he’d gone screaming into his parents’ room, swearing something was under the bed. “I was scared of shadows as a kid. I guess everyone was.” When he turned eight he stopped admitting to anything, but a monster check was necessary each night before he’d go to sleep. “No big deal really.” He still thought about what he saw at night, eyes, and soft movement beneath him. A creature who lived in shadows, hiding itself easily in the blackness until time for it to make its entrance and shatter their family. A small laugh escaped his lips and drew the doctor’s attention. “I just thought of something funny she used to say,” he lied. He didn’t mean to laugh but his emotions were raging out of control and the choice became either laugh or cry. 11

RESTLESS SHADOWS “That’s okay. Don’t stop.” She kept the low thoughtful tone Nick hated. “We kept arguing. Usually Gwen would really let me have it.” His sister had been making him relive every terrifying moment, shaming him with the details of his panic. He protested and the argument was at the challenging stage. They both knew it and he was waiting for the dreaded words to come out of her mouth, ‘Go downstairs into the basement then. If you’re not afraid.’ She made this challenge often. He’d done it once or twice to prove himself, but each time proved a terrible ordeal and with no parents at home, he was afraid of what would be waiting for him down in the darkness. She’d never get the chance. As she opened her mouth, it happened. Their dueling ended with a small metallic noise at the front door. One of those sounds every person dreads, announcing the worst fears had arrived and fate was calling. “Nick?” Dr Giovanni’s mouth changed to a tight slit, nearly disappearing in the moon face that was much too big for her body. “Nick?” she repeated with more earnest. He hadn’t been aware of the long pause until he heard her voice pushing him on. “We heard a noise at the door and there he was and she’s dead. I think that’s enough hashing up of old memories.” “Who was at the door? What did he want?” That calm patronizing voice came again and for a moment Nick thought he’d scream. “I really don’t see the need for this. You know what happened.” “I think you’d better continue.” She leaned forward making eye contact then looked back at her legal pad. “Who was at the door and what did he want?” “A thirty year old white male dressed in jeans and a plaid flannel shirt.” He repeated the description automatically as if he’d said it a thousand times. “He told us not to move or he’d kill us.” 12

RESTLESS SHADOWS And then he did, but Nick couldn’t say that out loud. The doctor would never understand how he died that same day. “We froze in front of the TV with pizza set out in front of us on the floor. The man stood in the doorway. He held a gun in both hands, one uneasy finger on the trigger. Everything about the gun was bright, chrome looking. I think he was scared, but not like us. The situation seemed to charge him.” Nick could still see the panic in his eyes. The man was running on adrenaline and not much else. His hands were dirty and shaking with that bright gun aimed at them. Nick felt like he was there all over again. He could smell the pizza, hear the woman’s pleas from the TV set as she begged the maid to help her find a white fly. He shut his eyes and let the movie play. “Is anyone else home?” The gunman stepped forward then repeated the question. He licked his lips hungrily as if feeding from the fear and shock in the room. “Tell me! Is anyone here?” Nick was too frightened to move and felt the strength drain from his body, being replaced with the shaky throbbing of his heartbeat. His eyes were locked on the gunman’s. Gwen managed to shake her head no, but couldn’t find her voice. “All right, kiddies. Here’s the drill. I don’t want any trouble out of the two of you.” As he spoke sirens wailed loudly in the night, coming so close both children prayed they’d stop there. Nick could imagine the nosy Mrs. Harmon watching their house from next door. She’d see the stranger break in and call the police. The men would come and save them just like on TV. Nick imagined himself hugging the old woman’s neck. That’s exactly what he’d do, hug her despite the moles and funny smell her skin had. He’d even confess to trampling through her garden and then everything would be all right. This would all be over, but the sirens passed their house and went on down the street for their destination, unknown to anyone that there were two kids inside the small colonial house with a gun pointed at them or that the unshaven man with the dirty white skin and dark brown hair, would kill them both before the night ended. 13

RESTLESS SHADOWS “What time are your parents coming home?” He shut the front door and locked it behind him while scanning the room. His gaze slowed once he reached the TV and stereo system. Neither child spoke. Nick seemed to have forgotten how, but he did feel his sister’s hand reach over and hold his. The hold was tight and desperate. It felt like a final scene from a movie, where the dying man would embrace his family while they watched him pass. The hold made him cringe. Somehow it made everything too real, too final. That touch brought him to tears. “Shut up. Now I asked you a question!” The man was impatient and grabbed Nick by the hair pointing the gun at the small boy’s temple. “When will your fucking parents be home?” “Not until eleven or twelve,” blurted Gwen. “They went to dinner and a movie.” She began to cry too. “Please leave him alone. He’s just a kid.” “He’ll never grow up if you don’t do what I say.” He leaned close to her. The smell of his sweat started filling the room like a poison. “What’s your name?” “Gwen.” Her face was pale, with tiny freckles dotting her nose and cheeks. Even her lips lost all color. “Stop your damn blubbering. Do what I say and everything will be fine. Understand?” She nodded and covered her mouth to stifle the tears. They were running down her chin and hitting her shirt in small wet dots. After a moment they were under control, leaving only red eyes and a quivering lip as the last sign of their presence. “Good. I saw another car parked out front. Go get me the keys and any money in the house. I’m gonna keep this gun at the baby’s head here. If you call the cops, scream, or aren’t back here in five minutes, he’s dead. Understand?” She nodded again. “Then get going. The clock’s running, darling. One minute late and bang.” Gwen ran to the kitchen and grabbed the keys off the hook. She glanced once at the phone hanging on the wall then opened the cupboard. On the top shelf sat a cookie jar in the 14

RESTLESS SHADOWS shape of a large ceramic owl with a hat as the lid. She reached inside and grabbed the wad of green bills. “Clocks ticking. Better move it,” he called from the living room. “Here.” She ran back and threw the money at him. Bills flew then scattered silently across the room. The keys landed with a clink at his feet. “Not nice to throw things.” He turned the gun on her. “I want both of you to get your shoes on. We’re going for a little ride.” “Why? You’ve got what you asked for.” Gwen looked at Nick fearful, as if she knew what would happen next. “Little Darlin. You sure are pretty. Not real smart, but pretty. I was robbing the house on the corner. They’re out of town and I thought it would be an easy hit. Well, they saw fit to invest in a security system. I tripped the alarm and now the road is covered with cops. I’ll never make it out unless I have some help. Now, pick up the money and get your shoes on.” Nick stayed on his knees in the floor crying. Gwen looked over at him, then back to the intruder. “You don’t need both of us.” Her voice was grave but calm, as if everything made sense to her. “He’ll slow us down. Why don’t you just take me?” The gun stayed on her. “Sounds fine. Maybe you and I can have some fun.” His sweaty hand reached for her, touching her cheek. “Get your shoes and let’s go.” She grabbed her shoes from under the coffee table and slid them on. Nick watched her and suddenly realized that she was leaving. In the same instance he understood she was saving his life, even if it meant losing her own. “I don’t want you to go,” cried Nick, but he kept looking at the gunman. There was something terribly familiar about him. There in the eyes. They looked depraved, almost like the eyes that lived in the shadows. Then everything made sense. This was no man. This was his monster. “Let me tell my brother good bye.” She waited for the gunman to nod before she moved. “Nick, I love you.” She hugged him closely and whispered in his ear. “It’s up to you to save 15

RESTLESS SHADOWS me. Memorize what this guy looks like. Call the cops as soon as we leave. Tell them what the car looks like. Describe everything. Watch and see which way we pull out. You got to save me bro.” The man grabbed Gwen, pulling her to her feet. “Don’t give me any grief kid or she’s dead.” Those familiar dark eyes settled on him. Nick looked over the gunman carefully, trying to engrave every detail into his brain. The sweaty curls that matted the hair, the height that had to be at least six feet, the worn out blue jeans, engraved into his brain. He tried to remember everything, but all he saw was the scared frightened look on his sister’s face. Her eyes were glassy, covering the blue in a sea of tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks at any moment. Then they were gone out the door and all Nick could think was that the boogey man…the boogey man got my sister. Two weeks passed with no word. Nick did a fine job, giving the police as many details as he could recall. The shirt color, the work boots, every item was noted then a sketch artist came down and did a drawing, asking more questions about the size of the nose and the roundness of the eyes. When the artist finished, the boogey man looked alive on the paper and stared back squarely at Nick as he nodded that the picture looked complete. They plastered the man’s face on the news, nation wide. They praised Nick for his efforts and promised that everything would be okay soon. Everyone held the quiet hope that Gwen would turn up fine. Nick somehow knew better. He became strange. He spent his time sitting quietly in any desolate spot he could find. The most common place became his bedroom closet. He liked it there. It smelled of freshly dried clothes and crayons from the large open shoe box he kept in the bottom. In there everything stayed quiet. There were no whispers or those quick glances adults would exchange when he entered the room. He knew what they said to each other. His heart felt it every time one of them came near. It existed, even in his mother’s peck on the cheek that 16

RESTLESS SHADOWS she gave him every night when tucking him in. Each one said the same thing, “how could you let this happen?” He knew how foolish it sounded, but the thought wouldn’t leave. The idea replayed in his heart despite his logical attempts to silence the thought. He kept reminding himself that his mother loved him no matter what, and what happened wasn’t his fault, but it was. He only confessed the truth to himself privately, in the security of his closet, with the door shut and the bare bulb lit, hanging seven feet above him. In this little haven, he couldn’t hold in the lie. Both he and his sister had been told a thousand times about keeping the doors locked at night. They’d been warned and Gwen locked the door before turning on the movie and settling down next to her kid brother. Then they’d ordered pizza and Nick wanted to pay for it. If he’d only remembered to lock the door afterward, everything might have been different. And to think they praised him for doing such a fine job describing the man. He’d done such a fine job that two weeks passed and they still hadn’t found the monster or his sister. “Nick, could you come out here a minute?” asked his mother from the hall. “I want to speak to you in the living room.” Nick opened the closet door. He pushed his blond bangs away from his eyes and looked out into his bedroom. There were shadows in the corners, shadows under his bed and somewhere in there, he knew, was the boogey man. It took his sister the only way it could, through an open door. Getting him would be much easier. He was just a skinny kid, no flesh and blood disguise would be necessary to collect him. “Nick?” His mother’s voice came again. He heard something wrong in the small sound, something horribly wrong. There was a tiny quiver of emotion that couldn’t hide in the adult voice and it seeped out in the undertones. He walked out of his room and down the hall, hearing his sneakers dull sounds against the hard wood floors. The sound changed to a soft sliding when he hit the carpeted living room. He 17

RESTLESS SHADOWS watched the brown scuffed toes of his sneakers until he reached his mother. She sat on the couch with his father, Doctor Mike Edwards. Both of them looked dignified as if they were too good for anything bad to happen, until now. Dr. Edwards, with his expensive ties and receding hairline, held on to his youth through his wife. She’d been tucked and sucked, or so Nick’s friend told him one day on the playground. It sounded obscene and resulted in a fight. His mother used to be a nurse at the hospital where she’d met the doctor nearly seventeen years ago. She’d quit to take care of the house and what she called her babies. She was a strong woman, at least she had been until this happened. Now, his father sat holding his mother’s hands, both of them in his. There were large black rings beneath her eyes and her hair was mussed. She was a lovely woman who would never leave the house without fixing her face. Nick never really understood that either, because it never looked broken, except for now. “Nick, we have something to tell you,” Mike began. Nick knew what Mike would say before he spoke. The news hung over them, clung to the air around them like a sickness. In that moment, his preoccupation with death began. **** “And what did they say Nick?” asked the doctor, breaking into the sixteen year-old memory. “They said…they said that she was dead, murdered.” He drew in a long breath, trying to hide the fact that such an old event could still hold itself over him like some twisted emotional extortion. “She’d been more than murdered, right?” The doctor held her legal pad in front of her, scribbling down notes from the chair across from him. “Right. You know all this. I’m sure you read it in my file. I don’t see the need in discussing it further.” Nick crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair. 18

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Humor me, Nick. I have to do a complete psyche screening on you before your trip with the professor to Europe. He doesn’t want you getting up there in the catacombs and freaking out. Now, please tell me exactly what happened to your sister and how you found out about it.” “I didn’t find out much about the murder until later. The news delivered the details of the story. I used to sit with my dad and watch the six o’clock news before supper. He’d sit in his recliner and unwind. I’d sit on the floor next to him. A kind of father son thing we did.” “You’re stalling.” And he was pretty sure she wrote the same thing on her notepad. “Anyway, my sister’s photo on the news. They said that Gwen Edwards of Fairview, North Carolina had been found.” He could hear the newscaster’s voice clearly in his mind. “Her body had been found naked in a ditch along I-40 near the Tennessee line. She had been raped and str…” Nick fought back the tears and let the cool numb come over him. That numbness became his only friend as a child and he still held on to it like a security blanket. “Strangled. The man was caught a few days after that.” Nick finished without the slightest tremor or spilled tear, only glassiness in his eyes. “Do you feel that you’ve come to terms with it?” She took her glasses off and set them on the stand beside her. Her body was on the edge of her seat waiting and watching with pad in hand. “Yes. It took me a while, but yes I have.” He waited, but there were no scribbles after his lie, only the stare of a forty-year old woman looking much older, wanting any reason to keep the dissection going. “Why do you want to go with Professor Archel? I mean, there’s nothing there but mounds of skeletons.” “There’s more there than that.” He fully understood why he was going, maybe not all the details, but the why was clear. To put it simply, he’d been chasing death. He chased the thing he thought was the boogey man, who lived in the shadows under the 19

RESTLESS SHADOWS bed and in the basement. A syrupy monster who crept in old men’s bones and strangled young women before they could grow up. He was chasing death. More than an ideology or false symbol men held up as the normal end. He’d seen it as a child and its name was death. “There’s so much history there,” he responded, holding the same smile. “I love history.” “I always found history rather boring, but that’s me. I will tell you that I wouldn’t want to go there for all the money in the world, but again, that’s me.” “So will you recommend me?” Nick flashed a smile. She watched him a moment more before answering. “Yes. I’ll let the professor know this afternoon. I guess you’d better get a passport and start packing.” “Thank you. I appreciate this.” He took her hand and shook it as if they’d closed some deal that couldn’t be complete without it. In a way he felt like they had. With his sketchy past, one bad word from the shrink would make Professor Archel take his name off the list. They couldn’t cart an unstable person across the ocean, just to have a break down. “Have fun examining bones.” “Thanks again.” He walked out of her office and down the hall past administration. The halls were quiet now, with everyone leaving or already gone for summer vacation. He preferred it quiet. In the fall this place would be bustling with freshmen and the last minute students, looking for school loans or to transfer from classes the summer forced them to realize were a mistake. He wouldn’t be here then. His diploma had been handed out a week earlier. He missed the regular fancy ceremony with the caps and gowns. Public displays, even in honor of completing his degree, were uncomfortable. He’d never been at ease with people, so he faked an emergency at home and received his diploma in an envelope. Ahead of him were the glass doors that led down the steps to the parking lot. Bright sunshine filtered in from behind the white 20

RESTLESS SHADOWS vinyl letters that marked the building Administration and listed the hours Monday-Friday 9-6. There was also a pink flyer with a summer program and a couple of jobs posted to the right, hand scrawled on typing paper. A blue flyer, one that circulated across campus and throughout town, about the trip to Europe and requests for donations to finance it still hung to the side. It had been there for at least six months and fueling him for at least that long. It would be there in the underground darkness, amidst the bones and relics from forgotten cemeteries. In that lost world, that Kingdom of Death, he would find it. He knew it couldn’t be stopped or destroyed, but the grim reaper held the answers of the universe. Isn’t that what all history majors longed to unravel through filthy digs and ancient finds? That’s what he had met in the dark basement when he was nine, when he was hoping to die in the hands of the boogey man and end his guilt. There was a creature that collided with past and present, holding future out as a treat to whoever could escape it? The time had come to finish the race. He knew it. He’d get to business, not with dramatic suicide jumps or poison, not by offering yourself up to a childhood monster. This time he could face the blackness, if the creature engulfed him, fine. “Let the fates take me,” he whispered. “They take us all in the end.”

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Chapter Three Professor Charles Archel sat in his office and studied the roster for the trip. He put a check mark next to Nick Edwards and replaced his pencil behind his ear. It tilted back in the black thinning hair that only remained on the sides. Charles grew out to a small ponytail in the back as a last battle against the spreading baldness and lost youth of his forty-five years. Another check mark came next to Anna Carswell’s name. That one had been almost immediate. She was a rising senior and one that caught his eye from the first time she entered his classroom. There was something about her. She nearly always kept to herself and rarely dated. He frequently found her in the library. Her taste in books were a bit unusual for the average student, but with her major being anthropology, the burial rituals that kept her engrossed, made her look like an over achiever and over achievers love to impress their teachers. There were rules against dating students and UNCA was strict about them, but there would be no witnesses in Europe and he was the only chaperone. It had also been his experience that students with her particular behaviors, never went to advisors. If he broke her heart, she'd find solace in keeping to herself and out of his way. There was only one more student to choose from a roster of five signatures. Originally there were well over three hundred names on the flyer by his office door. That was when a student started a rumor about a free European vacation. The numbers quickly dwindled when the interested parties found out that the Eiffel Tower, the Parthenon, the Leaning Tower of Piza were out of the question. All these students would see were mounds of 22

RESTLESS SHADOWS skeletal remains scattered in Italy, France, and Ireland, all in forgotten underground cemeteries. After that notice went out, the list dropped to twenty. From that each student’s records were reviewed and another ten were dismissed. Anna was selected immediately and interviews were given for the remaining slots. Nick, a brilliant historian and folklorist would be a good choice, but a checkered past and emotional disturbances forced a second and third interview with the school psychologists before his place could be secured. He was leaning towards a beauty that just transferred to the school for a slot, although her grades were poor and her major had little to do with their trip. The thin t-shirts she wore spread across an ample chest seemed like a fine reason to include her, but her interview did not go well. She was more than a bad student. She wasn’t very bright. After final consideration, Charles marked her name off the list. Her body was fine, but conversation with her would quickly grow old. There was one candidate that should have been selected purely on merit. A nerdy little man, who would be graduating from the university at the ripe old age of eighteen with a major in archeology named Tod. He entered as a freshman at thirteen and everyone had been betting on him to fail since day one. Now, he had one more year left and the snide comments, even the ones the faculty made, faded back to small sneers of jealousy at his success. Charles poured another inch of brandy into the empty glass. It sloshed up, leaving a film that dripped slowly down. He didn’t enjoy the taste of it, but it had been a gift from a colleague and the only alcohol that was hidden in the drawer of his desk. As he drank, he studied the remaining four names from his cell, as he called it, which was no bigger than a walk in closet hidden behind a door at the back of his classroom. “Who will it be?” He hadn’t realized that he’d spoken aloud until someone answered from the door. “I’ve got a suggestion.” Leaning on the frame was Professor Diane Patters, and soon to be Dean. She was a lovely woman 23

RESTLESS SHADOWS when she managed a smile. Instead her lips were almost always drawn tight against her teeth, giving her the look of an angry dog. “How about Tod Preston?” “The prodigy child. I suppose that is an option. I’ve been considering him.” He smiled and held up his bottle of brandy. “Want some?” “No. I would like you to consider Tod. He’ll be graduating next year and this experience could do him some good. And let’s not forget how well off his parents are. I’m sure by the beginning of next year they’ll be making a sizable contribution.” “Tod is too young, though, not even legal age yet.” He spun the liquor in the glass and took another sip. “He’s a rising senior at this university and I think...” “You think too damn much. This is my trip. I’m the one that arranged the financing, I’m the one that arranged the accommodations and received special permission for the research. I did all of it. Not you or Preston’s parents and I damn sure don’t want to spend two months baby sitting.” “Listen Charlie, you and I both know what your selection will consist of you and two months of braless babes. It is not what you advertised when you got your contributions.” “Don’t call me Charlie. For your information, I’ve selected a male and two females. They were given slots by merit and merit alone.” “If that’s how you’re basing your choices then why not Tod?” She put a hand on the hip of her red dress, buttoned tightly to the edge of her throat. Charles thought she looked mildly like a dominatrix on one of those paid channels, who hid a leather bra underneath her tailor made dress and would rip it off if she thought she could make you bark like a dog. “I was considering Helen Shumate and I already have approved Brenda Elkins.” “Please, Tod has better grades and more to offer on the trip than either of your bimbos.”

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RESTLESS SHADOWS “Fine.” Charles huffed. “He goes, but we’ll need special consent from his mommy and daddy. How about you handling that one babe.” “Babe this.” She flipped him a bird and left, slamming the door behind her. Charles put a gray check mark next to Tod Preston’s name. The selections were made. A child, two beauties, and one man left to do the serious research. He liked the final list. There would be no competition and Nick was thorough enough to be left alone at his work.

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Chapter Four Nick walked past the administration building to the Elm Building or Social Studies Department. He didn’t know why they renamed the buildings. Instead of an appropriate title, they went after a man or tree or whatever came to mind. Across the campus, coming from the opposite direction, was a dark headed, attractive woman. He’d seen her before. Her name was Anna Carswell. She’d been in the library a hundred times with him, but he never found the courage to speak. She was quiet and nearly always reading. The books caught his attention first. She held the same fascination for death as he. Several times she would be reading the book he was looking for. At first she became an annoyance, a faceless student who kept getting the books first or scanning reference material he needed. Only after she appeared from behind the reading tables and set the book down, had he really seen her. The lovely Anna frequented his thoughts ever since. Once he nearly spoke, they were sitting at the same section of tables with only a reading lamp mounted in the center, separating them. She set her book down and stared thoughtfully at the ceiling as if contemplating something she read. At that moment, Nick looked up and saw her dark eyes. He became captivated by them. The color was darker than anything he ever seen before. The moment came to say something. He cleared his throat and drew in a deep breath, but her eyes shot down and in the same instance all courage vanished from him, lost forever in those deep dark pools. Then she went back to her book, hiding herself behind pages with the title Finding Eternity in Ancient Tribes. 26

RESTLESS SHADOWS Now, he walked towards her on a sidewalk that met at the Elm building. The situation felt awkward to him. He wasn’t sure if he should wave or speak and if he tried would his voice fail him as it did before. “Hi,” she spoke from several yards in front of him. She stood at the sidewalk that went up to the stairs of the Elm building and waited. “You’re Nick, right? Part of the trip to the graveyards.” He nodded while excitement flooded through him. She knew his name. “You’re Anna?” The sound of his voice working surprised him. “Yes. I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other during the next couple of months. Are you excited about the trip?” She’s beautiful. Wait, what did she say? Nick lost himself in her eyes again and in the fluttering in his stomach. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.” “The trip. Are you excited about it?” “Sure. It’s going to be great.” He finally made it to where she stood. They turned together to go up the walk to the steps. “What’s your major?” “Anthropology. I’m thinking about transferring to Columbia for the grad stuff next year.” “Good choice.” He tried to think of conversation, but nothing would come. Before the silence became too awkward they reached the door. He held it open for her, while watching the back of her faded blue jeans. “You’re into history, right?” “That’s right, but how did you know?” They started down the hall toward Archel’s classroom. He hadn’t realized that she ever noticed him. “I’ve seen you around.” She smiled and in that moment, he knew that she held feelings for him or he hoped she did. “I think you had a book I wanted or something.” The smile widened, making him think of the library. “How’d you know my name?” I asked the librarian. “I must’ve heard someone mention it.” He felt a stupid grin spreading across his face. 27

RESTLESS SHADOWS “I see you two have met.” Archel waited at the door, its large glass window and the black letters reading Social Development painted on the front. “Has anyone seen Tod Preston yet?” “Tod? Do you mean baby brainiac? I didn’t know he was coming.” Nick looked more than a little concerned with Tod’s presence on the trip. “What’s the story? Does he have the qualifications?” “I’m afraid so. I’ll be counting on both of you to keep an eye out for him. I don’t know if the two of you knew Brenda Elkins. She backed out of the trip. Apparently she has a bad case of pregnant.” He walked in and set his brown leather briefcase on the long desk at the front of the room. A dirty chalkboard stood behind, with the remnant words from another class left in white ghosts that couldn’t be erased. “Come on in. I’m sure Tod will be along in a minute.” Nick walked in after Anna. He studied everything about her. She wore white sneakers, tight jeans, and a white sleeveless shirt. There were five or six silver bangles on each wrist clinking together whenever she moved her arms. Then he noticed Professor Archel. He was looking at Anna with the same interest. “You have one more week before we leave. Our airline tickets are for June 5th at eleven o’clock.” He paused as a shabby figure entered the door. It was Tod, but instead of the neat tucked in shirt and clean parted hair, a boy barely holding together walked into the room. He had a paint splotched t-shirt on and a baseball cap with unwashed hair poking out from beneath. Sunglasses covered his eyes. “Did you get that Tod?” “Yes, Sir.” He came in and stood by the door behind Nick and Anna. “Good. As long as we’re on this trip together, call me Charles. Our trip will consist of photos and a few samples that we will test for biological contaminants as well as dating of any debris we can come across. “Now, we will all meet outside this building at nine. Ms. Patters will drive us to the airport. You will need to 28

RESTLESS SHADOWS have your passports ready and your inoculations up to date. We will be changing flights in New York. There will be no time for sightseeing. Any questions?” “Any suggestions for what to bring?” Tod mumbled words that were barely audible. “Bring clothes and money. It’s pretty cool in some of the places we’re going. I’d suggest bringing bottled water, but space will be limited. Oh yes. Tod your mother faxed me your permission yesterday.” Tod cringed at the statement. “She’s sending up your medical records Monday. If any of you have any allergies or medical needs, make them known now.” He waited, but no one responded. “I’ll hold on to your tickets. We will be connecting with a guide in France. Any more questions?” Again there was no response. He reached into his briefcase and pulled out several papers. “Here is a copy of our destinations and expected travel dates. Your return tickets will be issued to you on the plane. Don’t lose them.” “Will we need special Visas or anything?” asked Anna. Her voice was soft, pleasant to Nick’s ears. “I’ve handled all of that. Please remember that we are guests to these countries. Several strings were pulled to gain the unscheduled tours. The catacombs in France were particularly difficult to gain admittance to. They have a strict public schedule they follow, private tours are usually denied. I hope that you will all be on your best behaviors. I chose each of you for your academic qualifications as well as personal interests. Don’t let me down. Consider yourselves representatives of this country as well as this school. All eyes will be on you. Do you understand?” “No problem,” Nick said, but he was looking at Anna. “Any other questions?” Each of them shook their heads no. Nick inched his way closer to Anna. There was something about the way Charles looked at her that he didn’t appreciate. It didn’t register as jealousy, but more of a contempt, a secret hatred began brewing. His movement forward was purely unconscious, 29

RESTLESS SHADOWS purely a protective reflex. He hadn’t been aware of it until his arm touched hers and she glanced his way. “Well I guess that covers it. Look over your itineraries. If any of you think of anything later, just call or come by. My home phone number is listed at the bottom. If there’s nothing else,” he paused once more for questions, “then I’ll see you next week.” Archel closed his case. Nick turned, trying to think of something to say. He stood there watching, unable to form a cohesive thought much less voice one. Tod was already out the door and Anna started going out behind him. Nick knew that if he was going to make a move, he’d better do it quickly. “Hey Anna, wait up.” She stopped just outside in the hall. Her arms were folded below her breasts, pulling her shirt tight against them. Nick let out a low appreciative breath and walked out. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but he had to beat the professor to the punch. From the look in Charles’ eyes, he wouldn’t wait long. “I was wondering, since we have the same interests, if you’d like to get some dinner and talk. I’d like to get to know who I’m traveling with.” The words came out smoother than he believed possible, under the circumstances. “Umm…sure. I’d like that.” “My car is parked in the south lot. Where did you park?” He stopped at the door to open it for her and sneak another peek. “In front of my dorm. I walked over. I live at the Macville house.” The Macville house was a small dormitory where freshmen usually stayed that couldn’t make a sorority. Everyone else got out and into an apartment after the first year. “I’m sorry. I just thought since you were going into your senior year that you lived in an apartment off campus.” “No. My scholarship doesn’t give me enough money for that. If I work more than a part time job it cuts into my classes too much. So I’m stuck.”

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RESTLESS SHADOWS “It’s not easy handling school and work.” They turned down the walk toward the south parking lot. “I’m glad to be done with it.” “I bet you’ve got a job lined up and everything.” There was some envy in her voice. “Not really. I’m still working things out.” Sure, he received job offers, but nothing that sounded satisfying. There were two jobs at universities, but looking at Charles made him shiver at the thought. Several published papers helped him get offers to work at museums. He wanted more. Secretly he hoped to join up with an archeological team in Ireland and become part of the excavation on a Celtic ruin. Last week he made his money tutoring and writing stories for magazines. A poor man’s living at best, but one that allowed him freedom. Everything else felt too confined. Ireland seemed like his best bet, if he made it there. They walked down the cement steps to the nearly empty lot. Bright white lines marked off the spaces where the painters had recently been. Two cars remained. His was a 1979 blue Camaro. The other, a black Topaz that belonged to the professor. “Where would you like to go?” Nick asked. “I don’t care. I think something cheap would be a good idea considering we’re about to be out of the country for two months.” “You’re probably right. At least there were donations to cover some of the plane tickets and traveling costs while we’re there. I wanted to find someone to split accommodations with, but shacking up with the pro...I mean Charles or brainiac doesn’t sound like much fun. I’ve got a little money back, but this trip will break the bank.” He opened the car door for her and walked around to the driver’s side. The inside of the car was tan. For its age, it was in surprisingly good condition. There were two small cracks in the dash and a badly worn driver’s seat. The interior had been worked on, with a new vinyl top and carpet added. He turned the key and the engine came to life in a low deep growl. 31

RESTLESS SHADOWS “I’ve been working evenings and weekends at the florists trying to come up with enough money. Nothing personal, but I was hoping there would be another female going so I could split some of my costs.” “No such luck, but if it’s any consolation I’ll treat you to a nice dinner tonight. How does McGuffey’s sound?” “Expensive.” She shook her head no. “Too expensive.” “Good, it might be the last expensive dinner you get for two months.” She smiled and rolled her eyes. “Then let’s make it a good one.” They pulled to a deserted red light and turned onto the main road. At River Road the traffic picked up and when they turned up to the interstate it turned busy in both directions. Tunnel Road was worse than any of them. Restaurants lined both sides of the five-lane road and continued down to the mall. Everyone seemed to be out enjoying their Saturday night with dinner and shopping, not to mention the movie plex that had a steady stream of traffic in and out. “Are you from around here?” she asked. Her hands were in her lap with her fingers nervously locked together. “Born and raised. My parents moved here from Virginia. They live in Biltmore Forest now.” He wiped one sweaty hand on his pants leg. “I rent an apartment off Charlotte Street. It’s one of those converted old houses. I can’t play the music loud, but the rent’s cheap.” “Sounds good. My parents live in Hot Springs. They were hoping that I’d go someplace close like Mars Hill College, but this place gave me the scholarship. I didn’t really want to be that close to home anyway. Living in a dorm isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” He’d never lived in a dorm. Special considerations had been given to him since middle school. “I grabbed this apartment my first year in college.” “I didn’t think freshmen were allowed to live off campus. Some sort of buckle down rule or something.” 32

RESTLESS SHADOWS “It’s surprising what you can get when your parents have money.” Nick laughed, but he could tell the sentiment wasn’t shared when Anna stayed silent. Nick pulled up to the red light and flipped on his turn signal. He glanced over at Anna. She was looking out the window. His stare moved up to her breasts. The soft way they moved up and down with her breathing. Suddenly Anna sat up right. The breasts he’d been watching shot forward with her new posture and her nipples were hard like a cold chill just passed over her. Goose flesh danced down her arms. Her face looked frozen in terror, wide-eyed with her mouth hanging open taking in small erratic breaths. “Anna?” he asked, but she didn’t reply.

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Chapter Five Charles stood at the top of the south parking walk when he saw Anna get in the car with Nick. His fist tightened around the handle of his briefcase as they drove off. Having Nick run off with his piece of ass was not in his plans. He walked to his car and threw his briefcase into the back seat. His face burned a slow red that lit brightly against the white button down he wore. He reached for the top buttons and unfastened them half way down his chest. He glanced at the white flabby body beneath. In his younger days he’d been hard and muscular, much like Nick. Those days were gone, fading away the young physique into the sagging body he saw now. His hand automatically reached up to his head and felt the naked scalp where thick black hair had once been. He’d been bald on top since thirty and divorced since he was thirty-eight. The divorce came about because he started sleeping with young women in order to prove his virility. The third affair got him busted. Lindsey came home early to find her black teddy on a busty student who was striding him in their bed. The rest, like his hair, was history. “I can’t fucking believe this!” The rear view mirror didn’t help things. They showed his furious eyes with all their aged glory. Crows feet cringed from the corners, while veins popped out in his forehead. Then his mind clicked over from right to left, from fact to fiction. “I’m not old, I’m dignified,” he roared. In a better mood he could be dignified and graceful like the timeless actors who made girls swoon no matter how gray they grew, but the temper gave away more than age, it showed soul. 34

RESTLESS SHADOWS He started his car and revved the engine, thinking of Nick’s old muscle car. Nick seemed like the wrong choice for the trip now. He had a record of being unstable. There were emotional outbursts and a series of shrinks in his file. “Damn. I can’t tell him no. I’ve got to let this thing go before it eats me up. A professor bitten by the green eyed monster. I don’t believe it.” His face calmed and veins began to ease into place. He pulled out of the parking lot and turned onto River Road, named so because the French Broad River flowed next to it. His house was on a little side street a few miles away. He followed River Road past the auto parts store and several junkyards, over the railroad tracks and turned onto Haywood. It wrapped around and went over the river. He crossed the four-lane bridge and drove up to Euclid Avenue. The road grew tiny, giving barely enough room for two cars to drive past. There was his modest home, a small wood shingled house that set among a dozen others that lined the street. Each yard was no more than a few feet in front and back. Most of his neighbors didn’t even have grass and felt content to decorate their yards in mud and children’s toys. A couple of streets over the neighborhood improved, but he couldn’t afford an improved neighborhood. His wife saw to that in the divorce settlement. He unlocked the front door and went immediately to the kitchen and the pint of whiskey in the cupboard. The label read Southern Comfort, and he thought how true that statement was. There was nothing more comforting than drinking yourself into forgetfulness. “She’s out with Nick. Well, the little lady may just have a surprise coming.” He didn’t bother with a glass only a can of soda from the fridge. The soda was generic. A store brand, some knock off of the good stuff. One of those many sacrifices he made to pay the bills. Not that his life was all adversity. He had an image to maintain. That meant buying expensive clothes, dinners, and presents for ladies. His home was also well furnished. A few of 35

RESTLESS SHADOWS the items came from his settlement of the marriage, the rest from a rent to own store. His lips curled up at the first smell of liquor when he uncapped it. He pressed his lips to the bottle and swallowed. A slow burn eased its way down his throat. The soda was his chaser, erasing the taste of alcohol after several sips. “She needs a man with experience, not some wet behind the ear, don’t know what to do with a dick, boy. Youth can’t win over experience.” He reached into the drawer next to the couch and pulled out an address book. There was Anna’s dorm number circled in black. Part of him hated to do it, but Anna needed to learn who would take care of her in a crisis. Her financial troubles would send her to him. He could play the sincere and understanding confidant, allowing her to stay with him because of sudden extra expense that she couldn’t possibly afford. He picked up the phone and dialed. “Hello, this is Ms. Drexton. How may I help you?” The lady who answered must be a hundred from the gentle quiver in her voice, of course the majority of the dorm mothers were that age. “I need to leave a message for Anna Carswell. This is Professor Archel. I believe she stays in room twenty. Tell her that the trip is going to be at least five hundred dollars more than expected, but if she can’t swing it, I’ll glad to help her in any way.” “And you said your name was Archel.” “Yes. That’s A-R-C-H-E-L. Thank you.” Charles smile widened as he imagined her grief at the news. How vulnerable she would be and how grateful over his generous offer to take care of her. “I’ll see she gets the message.” He hung up the phone, looking proud at his accomplishment. He tilted the bottle up letting more comfort slide down his throat as he settled into the rented recliner with fake black leather cover that matched his couch. He set his soda on the end table, but clutched the bottle to his chest, holding it 36

RESTLESS SHADOWS like a child’s most favorite toy. A large TV sat on the other wall, but he didn’t watch it. He was content to play the date in his imagination, seeing every move Nick made. They would go out, laugh, and talk. He thought that it might even be possible for Nick to get her into bed, to seduce his sweet Anna, but that little college boy couldn’t hurt anything. The little college boy would only clear the way for a real man to enter the picture, for him to take his turn with the little lady. In Europe, Nick would be too busy to watch over her. What a shame that would be.

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Chapter Six Anna watched the people on the sidewalk as they drove to McGuffey’s. She wasn’t sure why, but the way they moved back and forth along the road was hypnotic. There were several couples walking along holding hands, or with arms wrapped tightly around each other. A teenage boy rode his bike, jumping from the street to the walk whenever traffic became too tight. Then she saw it and the fright instantly locked her mind cold with disbelief. Her mouth hung open and her shocked face pressed against the glass to make sure she wasn’t mistaken. She shook her head slowly and blinked, hoping the apparition would vanish, but it didn’t. No trick or silly error made by eyes trying to adjust to the vanishing light of sunset could be blamed. Right out in the open, with everyone going by, no one seemed to notice the blackness hanging in the air, covering the entire restaurant. It churned, seethed around the building totally encompassing it in blackness. The neon sign reading ALL YOU CAN EAT faded darker and became a faint glimmer. At first it looked like a giant covering it in its shadow, but upon closer inspection the darkness seemed to emanate from the ground, fixing points like tent stakes on all sides of the building and holding itself across the structure, closing in on it. It grew darker except for the parts near the windows. Those seem to be pushing inward as if to take the core of the building into the same blackness as the outside. The people walking along in front of the restaurant were blind to the curtain that fell down behind them. They continued on their way. A few more went into the restaurant not seeing anything wrong, not realizing the danger they were in. A long tentacle of blackness came in with them. As the door closed, it remained solidly connected to the inside. 38

RESTLESS SHADOWS Knowing shadows don’t come from the ground, her eyes checked the sky for clouds or anything that could create the vision. There was nothing there except for a few rays of orange descending behind the mountains. “What’s wrong?” Nick asked sounding bewildered. She looked at him and realized that he couldn’t see it either. His face turned in the same direction as hers, but he registered nothing, no shock or surprise. There was only concern over her strange behavior. “I thought I saw someone I knew in that restaurant over there.” She pointed to the building that was now in a black thick cloud, leaving only the top of the green roof and small smoke pipe visible above it. He glanced over. “I thought you looked pretty terrif…” His eyes registered something. She knew it. They bulged out, while he arched his neck around her to see. She let out a breath. Thankful someone else could see it. There was a moment when she doubted, afraid that she drove herself crazy. “Do you see it?” she asked and secretly she’d prefer insanity to what a sight like that would mean. “Looks like Cynthia’s Bar & Grill is on fire.” On fire! Are you nuts? That came from the outside in! She turned her head and was astonished. The building was no longer visible in the blackness that swelled and shrank as if breathing. “Guess the cook burned the steak.” Nick smiled and turned on the road that ran up the hill and into the parking lot. “Looked a little smoky, huh? I didn’t notice.” She shut her eyes and didn’t open them until he parked. She couldn’t stand being the only one that could see. Wait a second. He did see something. Maybe not to the degree that I did, but he did see something. To him the vision appeared dim, like a small grease fire, but at least he saw. She thought they shared more than an interest in death. On a few occasions she thought she felt something dark in him or his past. Maybe she finally met somebody as screwed up as she was. “I hope your hungry.” 39

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Sure am.” She lied. Seeing something that large meant trouble, but unable to do anything about the horrors happening, she decided to put the sight out of her mind and try to have a good time. Ignoring death’s calling card felt better than giving into panic. “What’s good here?” “You’ve never been here before?” She shook her head no as they entered the glass door with bright brass handles. He put his hand at the small of her back sending a rush through her body as he guided her inside. Polished wood gleamed in the dim light. There was a romantic ambience. This was a date. She started feeling selfconscious. On campus Nick came across friendly, like they’d go to a fast food joint. This place went well beyond friends. Could he have known about her little crush? There were very few men she found attractive. Some would come up and start conversations, but nothing ever connected. With Nick the connection came instantly, even though neither spoke a word. She’d been looking for a book. After rattling through the shelves, she asked the librarian if it had been checked out. It had, and by Nick Edwards. The same librarian was kind enough to point him out. He’d been sitting by himself, a small stack of books to the side. Anna took a seat to the side of him, but never managed to say anything. Anna returned her focus to the restaurant. There was a ramp that led down to the dining area and steps to the left that went up to the bar and smoking areas. “Smoking or not?” asked the hostess from a podium next to the door. She was wearing a green dress that contrasted her red hair. A name tag read Debra in black letters cut into gold. Nick looked at Anna. “Do you smoke?” “No. Can’t have any flames near the mummies. Smokers aren’t allowed on this trip.” She smiled and noticed the strange expression the hostess made. “Non-smoking, please.” The hostess led them down the ramp to a cozy booth in the corner. Small lights came out of the wall, brightening the table 40

RESTLESS SHADOWS with a soft glow but not disturbing the mood. The menus were designed to look like a child’s reader from school. Anna found the place lovely and Nick handsome in the iridescent light. It made her forget the dark cloud and all her worries with it. “A server will be with you in a moment.” The hostess walked away. “How do you like it?” Nick smiled at her from across the table. She noticed the blond highlights in his brown hair that shone in the light. He wore a t-shirt that hinted at the muscles beneath and blue jeans. “Nice place. What’s good here?” She fumbled with the menu, but didn’t read it. “Everything. I’m having steak. They also have a pretty good Long Island Iced Tea, if you’re up for it.” “What’s in a Long Island Iced Tea?” She didn’t get out much and alcohol, except for cheap wine, was foreign to her. “Lots of alcohol and a little sweet and sour. I prefer beer, especially when I’m driving, but you get whatever you want.” “Trying to get me drunk?” She raised an eyebrow accusingly. “Of course. This is our personal celebration. I thought I’d get you drunk, take you back to my place where I can get comfortably toasted, and conk out. Oh wait. I can’t forget the part where I make a pass at you and you slap me. That’s got to fall somewhere between toasted and unconscious.” “Good to know you have a plan.” She looked at him and noticed his green eyes. They were bright, like a cat's in the dim light. The green sparkled from the surrounding sea of white with long lashes blinking above. She couldn’t imagine slapping him for anything. “Hello, my name is Sandy. I will be your server. Are you ready to order or would you like some drinks first?” A small lady stood in front of them in a black uniform and white apron. She held a pencil and paper ready. “I would like a Budweiser and the rib-eye well done.” The waitress looked at Anna. She hadn’t read the menu yet. All of her attention had been on her date. The little book was 41

RESTLESS SHADOWS open to chicken printed in the middle of a drawing of a chalkboard. “I’ll have the baked chicken and a Long Island Iced Tea.” “I’ll be right back with your drinks.” Nick smiled then leaned forward as if to whisper a secret. “So you’re playing right into my hands.” “Don’t get your hopes up. I’ve got a mean right.” She made a fist and shook it at him threateningly. “Awe, you hit like a girl. I’m not scared.” “Well, you should be.” She laughed. “Besides, I’m only having one. That’s not enough to take out my defenses.” They leaned back when the waitress returned. She set Anna’s drink, a dark brown tea with lots of ice, on a little white napkin in front of her. Nick’s beer was placed next to a frosty mug, then the waitress went out of sight around the corner. “Just one? That’s not fair. You’re a drink tease.” He took a sip from his beer. “You really don’t think I’m going to molest you or anything?” “I’ve got to work first thing in the morning. I’m still just a tiny bit short on money for the trip.” “How much is a tiny bit?” “A hundred and fifty short on the estimate the professor gave us. He said if I couldn’t come up with all of it that he’d work something out for me. I’d rather not have any special favors from him, if you know what I mean.” She sipped her drink, pleased at the taste. “So, you’ve caught the way he’s been looking at you.” Nick poured his beer into the mug. She wanted to say, like the way you’re looking at me now, but she didn’t have the guts. “I’ve noticed.” She lifted her glass again. “Here’s to Europe.” They both drank to that. A strange silence filled the space between them, not only a lack of conversation, but the need for an explanation. She was certain he also searched for something personal, and a connection. A unity started growing that would carry them into the darkness. He had to feel it too. 42

RESTLESS SHADOWS The waitress returned to a silent table and set their food down. Anna was relieved to see it, not that she was overly hungry. Staring at someone in silence is much worse when there’s nothing else to take up the time. Nick must’ve felt the same way. He immediately started eating. She followed, finding the food surprisingly good after the difficult day. Another fifteen minutes of silence passed before Anna got up the courage to ask him about the trip. “Nick, what are you searching for?” She asked above a half-eaten plate of food and a nearly empty glass. The question she’d held from the start, waiting for the right moment to ask. Nick stopped eating, swallowing his last bite hard. “What do you mean?” “In Europe.” She struggled for the words. “What’s there for you? What’s there that you’re so interested in?” “Is there more than just studying people there for you? Do you have some other goal in mind for disturbing dead bodies?” He watched her too closely making an uncomfortable shiver creep over her skin. “I don’t like it when people answer my questions with questions.” She scooted her plate forward and finished her drink. “If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just assumed…” The waitress walked up and cut her off. “Will there be anything else?” “Another beer and tea.” Nick spoke up before Anna could protest. “I don’t want another.” Anna spoke too late. The waitress already left their table. “You have half your dinner left and nothing to drink.” He fell silent for a moment, opened his mouth to say something, and then went silent again. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ordered for you and I shouldn’t have dodged you either. This trip is very important to me. I don’t want to say or do anything that will get me pulled from the roster.” 43

RESTLESS SHADOWS “I understand. I was being nosy. Let’s forget about it.” She scooted the chicken around on her plate and suddenly wished the evening were over. Cute or not, she didn’t have the time or patience to date. “It’s forgotten,” he said mildly. They went back to eating. Anna finished three drinks to Nick’s two beers. She was buzzing happily along and the conversation picked up. People were much easier for her to deal with when she was intoxicated. Even this guy didn’t make her nervous anymore. By the time they left, Anna felt comfortable with Nick. “Where to?” They were sitting in the car together at the red light. “Take me anywhere.” She giggled remembering his plan and realizing she was drunk enough to let him do whatever he wanted. “Wait, aren’t you supposed to be drunk so you can make a move on me?” He reached over and touched her cheek causing a bolt of electricity to pass over her. His hand lifted her chin and for a moment she thought he would kiss her. Her smile faded, her eyes started to close. She’d imagined those lips on many long walks home from the library. A beep from behind over the green light broke the moment. Both of them jerked. The start bothered Nick more. He kept biting his bottom lip. They pulled onto the road. Nick turned on the radio, but kept it too low to hear the song. So many things raged in her when she looked at Nick. She shouldn’t have had so many drinks. Messing with him might taint the trip to Europe. Anna glanced over at Catherine’s Bar & Grill as they drove by. There was no longer a black cloud around the building. Only a handful of cars were left in the parking lot. The place looked deserted too early on Saturday night. Police tape, bright yellow blocked the front door. The shadows finished their work there. “What’s wrong?” asked Nick. He craned his head toward the restaurant. 44

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Just looking at the remains from its visit. It’s so sad how the darkness works, isn’t it? The shadows come like whispers and vanish like thunder.” “What are you talking about?” She almost stopped but damn it, she needed to talk to someone and Nick knew more than he was telling. “Don’t play dumb, Nick. I look in your eyes and see the Shade’s footprints. It marks everything that sees.” She leaned her head against the glass. “The professor doesn’t have it, neither does Tod, and you try to deny it. That is the real reason you wanted on this trip, isn’t it? Because you’ve seen the Shades at work, or phantoms, or Nyx, or the Grim Reaper, or whatever a thousand generations of fables have labeled it. A few mortals who didn’t blink and saw the dark trail made up fanciful tales that personified death, but I don’t think they personified it. I think Shades is alive.” “You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.” Nick sped up nervously. She looked at him and smiled an eerie grin of understanding. “Then why is your arm covered in goose flesh?”

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Chapter Seven Nick opened the door to his apartment. He’d dropped Anna off at her dorm room, kissing her hand after dinner. He wanted to be left alone with his thoughts. He enjoyed Anna’s company, but their conversations grew strange and she was far too drunk for him to trust himself near her. He opened the old refrigerator and pulled out a beer. His appliances were all harvest gold, a hot color in the late seventies. The entire apartment was done in similar tones. The yellow and brown in the tile matched the shag carpeting in the living room, which continued on to the bedroom. The walls were in beige, and when he moved in large sunflowers hung on every available surface. He’d replaced them with photos of landscapes and hot rods. His favorite was a sixty-eight Camaro that hung over his couch in the living room. The rest of the furniture was equal to an old trailer, hard, uncomfortable, and tacky. There was a brown plaid couch with matching chair and a particleboard coffee table. The bedroom furniture was made out of the same particleboard with wood veneer top. He replaced the bed after finding a strange stain that reminded him of a girl’s period. He hated his home, but the rent was cheap. What was it she said? He thought back on his conversation with Anna in the car. “The shadows come like whispers and vanish like thunder. She was looking at Catherine’s when she’d said that.” He flipped on the TV. The news wouldn’t start for a while, so he settled for a comedy. The TV was the only light on in the room. It created an eerie dance that bounced to the walls, carrying dark images of objects that blocked its path. 46

RESTLESS SHADOWS “She called them shades, meaning phantoms or ghosts. I wonder how much of that was the alcohol talking.” Nick’s mind drifted in the sea of shadows, back to when the darkness scared him. He’d been a boy when his sister was taken. Everything in the house changed then. He knew the adults held him responsible. When his sister died, all love in the house died with her. It started a strange emotional plague that robbed everything from the hearts that came into close contact with the Edwards’ family. There was something else. He knew the boogey man still resided, there in the shadow, in the basement with its wet corrupt smell of mildew and things left forgotten. He could hear it bumping around in the middle of the night. His father assured him that the sound had come from the pipes or the furnace. Nick hadn’t been able to tell them that the sound grew louder, stronger since his sister’s death. Two weeks before his birthday, Nick had had enough. He no longer cared for in his home. The time for him to face his monster had come and if his Christian upbringing was correct, he’d see his sister again. Nick chose Saturday evening for his adventure. His father sat outside reading the paper on the porch, while his mother cleaned the kitchen. Nick didn’t say a word to them. Teary eyed and trembling, he went down the hall to the door that led to the basement. The ominous door was painted wood to match the hall. Turning the shiny cut glass doorknob was all it took. His small hand hesitated on the doorknob, then it opened. He wasn’t sure if he’d done it or if it opened on its own. It didn’t really matter. This would be the last time he would fear that place. After today he’d never fear anything again, he hoped. A stagnant scent filled his nostrils, cool with dirt and age. The smell of wood tinted the mix as well as mildew. He imagined the scent of a coffin as they toppled the dirt onto the lid, the last scent of a man. He walked into that scent, into the darkness beyond the safe clean world of his parent’s house. Wooden creaking steps led the 47

RESTLESS SHADOWS way. The stairs were long, and carried him to where a single bare bulb hung from the ceiling by a wire wrapped chain, barely lighting the single dirt and three brick walls. There were two small dirty windows next to the roof of the basement. Little light made it pass the muck, but enough cascaded through to let him know the sun was setting. Nick stepped carefully, waiting for hands to reach through the stairs and grab his feet. Under the stairs always felt like a good place for monsters. An easy meal would come down and be snatched up before reaching the last step. He stopped two steps from the bottom. The next one looked like the scariest. The board was old and cracked down the middle. He didn’t want to be snatched blindly, so he jumped the last two, landing on the concrete below. He looked back, trying to focus in on the darkness he just crossed over. Nothing was there. A few feet in front of him were the old shelves his dad stored junk on. Nick looked at it and let curiosity take over. There was a half-empty can of house paint, some greasy car parts, a few rusty tools, and some bug spray. Nick touched the tools. One screwdriver wasn’t too badly gone, with only mild rust freckling its surface. Nick grabbed it up and put it in his back pocket. There were a few other odds and ends stored down there. An old workbench was pushed against the wall with boxes on it. A mousetrap with a glob of molded cheese sat beneath it. A couple of sawhorses were to the side of the table, remnants of his dad’s bachelor life when he spent his time doing carpentry at night. Nick walked up to the sawhorse and sat down using the wall as a back brace. His feet dangled and the position made him feel like bait for something to snatch from the floor like a living fishing pole, so he jumped down and went to investigate the boxes near the stairs. There were five of them, covered in dirt and sealed with tape. He got on his knees and started pulling at the first one. It came open blowing the filth back on him. He reached in the box and found a girl’s dress, ruffled, and he recognized it as his sisters. He’d made fun of the lacey fabric last year when she wore 48

RESTLESS SHADOWS it to a school dance. The dress hadn’t fit this year, something about bust size. He wasn’t sure what that meant and figured it had something to do with the ruffles or the strange way his sister’s body started expanding. Fresh tears came into his eyes and spilled down dirty cheeks, leaving clean streaks where they ran. He missed her. They fought sometimes, but generally she was pretty cool. He wished she were with him now. He’d trade places with her in a minute if he could. He wiped the tears from his eyes. There was nothing down here. He’d come all this way to end it and there was nothing here to take him. There were no monsters or boogey man or anything except for a small crying boy in the basement. “Damn you, whoever you are. I hope you go straight to hell.” He whispered the words in case his parents could hear. They didn’t, but something else did. In the corner beneath the stairs, he heard something. He looked up in time to see movement, nothing clear, but something did move. The blackness behind the stairs shifted as if caught in changing light. There was no form to the shadow, but the shadow itself moved. He crept forward on hands and knees, finding this more interesting than frightening. His head stopped a foot from the edge of the blackness, and then the shadow rippled forward. Nick shut his eyes and reopened them. There was a distinct change in the shape of the shadow. Before the darkness had cast in a smooth line, far cleaner than the banister that must’ve caused it. Now there were five elongated areas like fingers or claws jutting toward him. Fear rose with each heartbeat. He tumbled back on his butt and scooted away. The shadow no longer moved. Nick wasn’t sure if he imagined the change. He sat still and watched. When he held his breath, he could see the shadow condense and expand, as if breathing. That’s when he realized what he was dealing with. The monster wasn’t casting a shadow. The monster was the darkness. 49

RESTLESS SHADOWS Self-preservation took hold. Nick didn’t really want to die. He could imagine that the blackness would fill his chest and drown him in it. He would slowly suffocate and never see the light of day again. His feet pushed him up. There was only one problem. He needed to climb the steps over the creature's head. He looked at the steps, then back at the blackness. The form changed again. The fingers were stretched long and the shadow itself crept a foot out of its hiding place. He shut his eyes, letting the creature come closer. It became a game of red light, green light. Another blink made it gain a little, just a little. It crept slowly, trying to lull him as it attacked. When he looked again, the blackness sat an inch from his shoe with a solitary thread ready to touch him. Adrenaline broke free and he darted for the steps. He stumbled on the first two, lost his balance and fell forward. His arms and legs kept pushing. He started crawling up. His eyes locked on the blackness between the boards. It bubbled up toward him, reached for him. His head almost reached the top step when terror froze him. Glowing eyes looked up at him from the darkness. Black outstretched hands were on the step above his face. “Ahh!” He didn’t realize he was screaming until the door opened, spilling light onto the stairs and making the creature fade to gray. “What are you doing down there?” asked his mother. “My gosh, look at you. You’re filthy. Get up here right now and take a bath.” Nick took a deep breath and crossed the gray remnants of the beast. He expected to be eaten up right there in front of his mother, but that didn’t happen. He passed unharmed into the light of his home and his mother never mentioned seeing the shadow’s hands or glowing eyes. She only fussed over how dirty he looked. He washed up and did his chores, trying to forget about the thing that could no longer be blamed on imagination. He knew 50

RESTLESS SHADOWS that something must be done, but he had no intentions of doing it until it forced him. Through dinner the image plagued his thoughts. When darkness shrouded the house, every corner turned to a nightmare. Bedtime came and Nick hoped he would be safe in his covers. Instead he heard it oozing up through the floorboards. “Nick,” it called from beneath the bed. “I can take you to your sister. Would you like that?” Nick didn’t answer, only scooted below the covers, prayed, and planned. The next day, he went back down the steps, back into the dingy darkness. The act wasn’t something he wanted to do, but must do. His sister deserved to have justice and that thing needed to leave their house. Fear still gripped him, but something more powerful overrode that selfish emotion, hate. He hated anything so vile, and hated himself for letting the creature inside. This mess was his fault and he must clean it up. He walked as quietly as he could, armed with only a flashlight and the belief that good always won over evil. He approached the bottom, jumping the last two steps, nearly falling onto the floor. There he paused, listening for the slightest sound that would give away its location. When only silence followed, he went to the sawhorses and pulled one under the half window that let in the light from outside. The worn wood made a terrible screeching as it moved into place. He knew that the sound would surely wake it, so he moved quickly. He climbed the sawhorse, teetering on the thin board on top and pressed the butt of the flashlight against the glass. The first tap didn’t bother it, then he heard something from below. A familiar noise of the boogey man. He brought his arm back and swung into the glass, shattering pieces around him and out into the yard. “This is for you, Gwen.” He jumped down and scooted under the next window. Soon light flooded the basement in long streams that fought the old dirty glass for years. The sound of the second breaking stopped 51

RESTLESS SHADOWS him. He jumped down, kicking over the sawhorse. Glass covered the floor twinkling in the sunlight. He’d done it. “For you. Please, forgive me.” He slumped onto the floor sitting in the mixture of shards that toppled back inside. “I love you Gwen.” Tears flooded his eyes. His fist slammed into the wall as the last of the fit melted away. “What’s going on down there?” called his father. Nick started to speak, but something stopped him. Shades finally arrived for the show. Under the steps it moved, crept to the edge of the light. Nick took his flashlight and flung it under the steps. “Go to hell. Go to fuckin hell!” A moment later his father stood above him, dragging him back upstairs and demanding explanations for his behavior. **** Nick refocused on the present. He was miles away from that basement, safe and sound in his apartment. The news came on. He turned up the sound in time for their feature story. It started with a shot of Catherine’s Bar & Grill and an ambulance pulling away. “Just a few hours ago over fifty people were hospitalized for contaminated food served at this local restaurant. No names have been released, but there are ten confirmed dead. The manager has not given a statement, but rat poison seems to be the likely cause. The police have brought in several suspects. We’ll bring you the updates as soon as we get them. Back to you Darcell.” Another anchor began speaking and Nick cut off the TV. He sat there stunned in disbelief and suddenly the darkness felt terrifying. He flipped on a lamp and frantically searched the room for the shadow, for Anna’s Shades. “She knew.” Then another thing came in clear. He hadn’t seen smoke from a grease fire. He’d automatically associated the fogginess inside for smoke when in fact the gray was the same as he’d seen as a child. That gray was what came after him. The monster had started black then and changed when the light came from the opened door. Death existed as shadows then, and now. 52

RESTLESS SHADOWS “And I want to go all the way to Europe to see it. Why, when it’s right here?” But he knew the real reason he wanted to go to Europe. Here, it hunted and he wanted to catch it at home.

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Chapter Eight Charles had been dozing when a loud clang from the kitchen woke him. He bolted upright, hands sprawling he knocked over his liquor bottle. The thick brown drink gurgled onto the carpet, spreading in a puddle. He jerked up the bottle too late, saving only a few drops in the bottom, which he greedily sucked down. Wearily he stood up, and the noise repeated like the muffled sound of glass breaking. He followed the sound, trying to decide if it came from inside or out. A scooting followed then silence. He was very drunk, but still managed to pinpoint the source. There must be someone in the kitchen. He went in and grabbed a knife from the drawer before turning on the light. There had been break-ins in the area, nothing major came of it and he dismissed the news report until now. With unsteady hands he cut on the light. The kitchen was empty. There was no broken glass, nothing at all that could have caused the noise. Charles reconsidered the source of the sound. His mind flashed to the news reports. Just last week a kid, not old enough to drink, killed an elderly couple in their home. They were asleep in the bed and never heard it coming. He performed a quick room by room search, starting with the closet near the kitchen and continuing to the living room. He swung open the door to his bedroom, flashing the blade in front of him. There was nothing in the dark shadows, nothing in any of the rooms. The house appeared empty. In his drunken state, he started to believe that he’d imagined it. Feeling foolish, he returned to the kitchen to put the knife away. He opened the drawer setting his defense inside, then stopped. The room had changed slightly. Something about his 54

RESTLESS SHADOWS wall appeared wrong, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. The wallpaper was white with variations of brown fruit cascading down. He’d seen that wallpaper a thousand times, but something about the wall seemed different, darker, and dirtier. A cold chill filled the room, blowing through him in a slow icy wave. He suddenly realized that he was not alone. There were eyes watching him. He could feel their hard stare on him, going over him. He wheeled around expecting someone to jump out, but there was no one there. “Come out where ever you are, bastard!” Charles wiped his sweaty brow and tried to ignore the fast beating of his heart. With a trembling hand he reached for the drawer to retrieve his weapon. He pulled it out. Then the icy hand touched, grabbed, and forced him to his knees. Pain shot through him running into his stomach like fire and turning numb, cold in its embrace. He couldn’t see the dark gray claws reaching into his diseased liver or the eyes that looked on with ecstasy as his body locked up, too full of the poison his organs could no longer process. All he felt was the fire then numbness that traveled to his brain and planted the small seed. After the hold passed, the dimness disappeared from the room and Charles collapsed on the floor like a rag doll.

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Chapter Nine Anna stuffed the pink carnations into the large green vase. She poked several strands of baby’s breath around them and started arranging. She added more white carnations and placed a few twigs of daisies throughout. This arrangement would go to Memorial Mission and a lady named Dorothy Winters in room 304. She fell behind this morning. A coworker called out sick, leaving her and the owner to make arrangements for a dozen orders and still handle the walk ins. Business was unusually busy with requests for bouquets from anniversaries to birthdays. She really didn’t mind the rush. It helped take her mind off of the bad news that she received last night. She found the note left on her door, from the professor, stating that the price had gone up for the trip. After reading the note, she sobered up quickly and cried most of the night. This meant much more than just a trip to her, more than just decaying bodies displayed for the morbid to look upon. This was something she needed to finish in her life. Death touched her at an early age. She’d seen one set of grandparents’ die before she the age of ten. At twelve a classmate was run over in front of the school by a speeding truck. Then came the hatred she carried so long for herself. The hatred instilled in her by parents who only wanted the best for their child, only wanted their daughter to be more than they were, and always pushed her, finding fault with anything she valued. At fourteen she prayed to die. At sixteen she nearly accomplished it. As the blood was draining from her body she saw Shades clearly for the first time. She hadn’t been able to shut it out since. 56

RESTLESS SHADOWS The Shades kept her from getting on with her life. His gift nagged at her like some unfinished task lurking ahead. Thoughts of dating, getting a job, much less marriage and family weren’t possible. She had a standoff with Shades and they or it, he or she, touched her, given her a gift she no longer wanted, could no longer stand. The bell rang up front. Anna ran from the back to wait on the next customer. She carried a vase with her and a few snips of ribbon, hoping to get a little work done while listening to the news that incited another order. “Hi, can I help...what are you doing here?” Anna stopped when she saw Nick standing at the door looking thoughtfully around. “I was in the neighborhood?” “Old and overused. Try again.” Anna started on the vase, taking the white and blue ribbons and wrapping them to create a large bow around the neck of the clear glass. She tugged at the tails with her scissors creating lovely spirals that spilled down the sides. “I had a great night out with this amazing woman last night and I thought I’d stop in and get her flowers.” He walked over to the counter with his hands stuffed nervously in his pockets. “Really? I heard you had a terrible night with a drunk who embarrassed herself.” “I don’t know where you get your gossip, but it’s totally wrong.” He touched the counter letting his fingers glide too close to hers. “I’m not even sure what kind of flowers she likes.” “She hates flowers, despises them.” She walked toward the back and motioned for him to follow. “Lot’s of orders to get done.” “I don’t suppose you could tell me what she does like.” “A miracle, my friend, a miracle.” She grabbed roses from the cooler and stripped them of their thorns. “Did Charles call you about some increased costs for this trip?” “Increased costs? No.” 57

RESTLESS SHADOWS “I didn’t think so. He called my dorm last night and left a message that the cost was going to be at least five hundred more than his first estimate, but he’d be glad to help me.” She rolled her eyes with the last statement. “Charles,” he shook his head slowly. “He’s an ass. Don’t worry about it. He’s just trying to scare you into his bed.” Nick dropped his gaze as if he’d been busted. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll figure something out.” Anna looked at him. Something more brought him into the shop than winning her affections. “What’s up? You’ve got something on your mind.” “You didn’t tell me you were psychic.” He returned his hands to his pockets. “I don’t think it would take a psychic to read your face. You’re bugged about something. Is it Charles?” “No. He bugs me, but there’s a question I had.” He looked at her then, dropping his gaze to the floor. “Would you tell me something?” He hesitated, drew in a deep breath then tried to speak. “Did you really see something…Shades last night?” “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I just assumed that you and I faced similar experiences. I’m not a crackpot or anything…” Her cheeks heated with embarrassment. She didn’t want him thinking she’d gone crazy. “On the news last night. That place was on the news, at least ten dead and they’re not releasing any names. They suspect rat poison. So please answer me straight. Did you see something last night?” His eyes were wide, terrified, and from more than the newscast. “Yes, but you saw it too.” She snipped off the ends of the flowers and set them down the vase, then started adding crushed ice. “Anna,” his face took on the look of a shy teenager. “I can’t explain the feeling but…” He stopped again, making her wish he’d finish his statement so she could get back to work. “Anna, you know I like you, but this is more. I believe that I’ll need you on this trip. Would you consider staying with me? I wouldn’t try 58

RESTLESS SHADOWS anything, and you could have plenty of money only paying half the housing costs. The situation would be better for both of us.” She stopped with her hands full of ice in complete shock. She was expecting something hateful, not an offer to stay with him. “Are you sure? We don’t know anything about each other. Close quarters can cause enemies.” “I wouldn’t have asked if I weren’t sure. The idea came to me yesterday. We could save some money and I really think being together would be better, cost increase or not. I can’t explain why. It’s just this feeling I have. Besides, I don’t like Charlie boy playing knight in shining armor for you.” “I can’t say no. I want to go on the trip too much.” She stopped fiddling with flowers and looked into his eyes. She didn’t see the harm in sharing a room with Nick. “What time do you get off work?” “Six. What if Charles doesn’t allow us to room together?” The question needed to be brought up. Charles wouldn’t want another man making a play much less living with her. “Come on. You can handle Charles. How about I pick you up out front and we’ll go to his office and talk to him? ” “How can I refuse? Just to be on the safe side, I’ll call ahead for an appointment. He may not be in his office today.” She picked up another vase. “Thanks, Nick. I appreciate it.” “Don’t say thanks yet. I’m a terrible housekeeper.” “Great, I’m working my way through Europe as your housekeeper. Just don’t ask me to wear one of those French maid outfits.” “You didn’t ask me about the sleeping arrangements.” He grinned and turned to leave. “Nick?” Anna went after him, but her boss stopped her before she could make the counter. “Who was here?” She came out of the cooler with two boxes of assorted flowers and set them on the counter. A variety of colors and assortments peaked out from the cardboard in carefully sectioned areas. 59

RESTLESS SHADOWS “No one. Just a friend,” Anna answered nervously. “I’ve got the Oswald anniversary order done. Is it okay if I use the phone before starting on Johnson’s?” “I guess so, but make it quick. It’s as busy as Valentine’s Day here.” The older lady stuck one of the carnations into her blond hair and went into the back. “Bring in some more vases when you’re finished,” she yelled. “Sure.” Anna pulled her purse out of the cabinet. She stuck the professor’s number in there along with the message he left. With school being out, odds were he would be at home. Very few teachers hung out longer than a few days after summer vacation started. “Charles Archel here.” “Hi professor. It’s Anna. I got your message about the cost increases. I was wondering if I could talk to you about them.” “Hello, Anna. I told you to call me Charles. What can I do for you?” “Charles, I was hoping I could meet you at your office and talk about some kind of arrangements. I can’t afford the increase.” She held her snips in a tight grip that turned her knuckles white. “I’m sure we can work something out. I’ll do anything I can for you.” She paused considering how to approach this. “Well, I just wondered if school policies apply while we’re in Europe. I mean, would I be under some strict rules or is this going to be an adult trip.” She tried to choose her words carefully. “There would be no guidelines, really.” Anna could hear the desire in his voice. Then she realized that he was hoping for a date, thinking that she worried about the policy on teachers and students. “So a student wouldn’t be under any scrutiny? I could stay, visit, and sleep, wherever I wanted?” “Certainly. Wherever I stay would be open to you. There would be no questions asked.” 60

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Thank you so much. That’s such a relief.” She felt mean. He deserved thinking this was about him. “I feel so much better.” “If you’d like we could discuss this later. Perhaps over dinner.” “That’s very nice of you, but I already have plans with Nick. I just wanted to make sure that I could stay with him during the trip. Thanks for everything. Bye.” She hung up before he could say another word. **** Charles Archel sat there with the phone in his hand and his mouth hanging open. It took a full ten seconds for his mind to register what she said. Another five seconds passed before he hung up the phone. “Bitch. That teasing little bitch.” He’d been set up. If she asked him immediately about rooming with Nick, he would have protested, but she went around it, gaining permission by implying the stay would be with him. “Bitch!” He slammed his fist on the coffee table. His teeth clenched down hard while his cheeks burned furiously. Anger boiled up and the small seed in his mind began to sprout, take root, in its new favorable environment. One date and they’re living together. Nick is behind this. He didn’t have enough time to get her into bed so he managed all the time he needs through playing on her weaknesses. That damn Nick stole her out of class, right under my nose. Nick has no business being on this trip, much less rooming with Anna. He could imagine them together, in bed. His Anna would be that boy’s victim. He was forcing her to stay with him or not go on the trip at all. “So they think this trip is going to be a college sex romp. I don’t think so.” He looked at the butcher knife on the counter with an evil glint in his eyes. He’d left it there after waking up on the floor with it in his hand. The morning offered no clues as to why he’d been carrying it around or why he’d woken on the hard linoleum. The last thing he remembered was passing out in the 61

RESTLESS SHADOWS chair. This was not his first black out, so the details were minor, the butcher knife was not. “Those kids are taking advantage of me. That’s exactly what they’re doing. I won’t stand for it.” He picked up the knife unconsciously. His fingers worked around the handle increasing his grip then relaxing it in time with his pulse. A madness was starting, working through rage, jealously and a thousand other variances of human emotion so vile as to fertilize. “I can’t let them do this to me. I am no fool.” The knife held steady in his hand. The clean blade fueled his thoughts. He wouldn’t let those kids get away with this. He was a teacher, a professor. Nick was a college punk. There should be no contest. Then he dropped the knife and grabbed his head. Lines of pain ran through him from the seed’s expansion. All he knew was that a hell of a headache hit him, and he grabbed a bottle of aspirin.

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Chapter Ten Anna sat in Nick’s car with the window down, watching the starry sky from the campus parking lot. The cool air felt good against her skin. Conversation lagged after dinner, but they were content to be together listening to the radio. Romantic songs came over WGHK and Anna thought if they were standing they’d be dancing, holding each other tightly in an amorous embrace. They might even kiss. The thought made her smile and suddenly she wanted to hear his voice, wanted him to say anything to her. “Nick, what’s the temperature like over there?” A silly question, sure, but it made him speak. “Cool mostly. The warmest is Italy. I think the book listed it as being twenty-four Celsius that’s what ... seventy-five degrees. The other two are in the sixties.” “I guess they’ll be no time for sight seeing.” She didn’t care, but it sounded like a valid concern. Traveling to one of the most beautiful places and missing the scenery seemed like a waste. “Especially after you blew off Charles like that. We probably won’t see the sun for the entire trip.” He laughed, but she heard truth in his idle joke. She had a bad feeling about the professor’s fondness for her, something menacing, but she didn’t want to think about it now. Tonight was peaceful, refreshing. “Wanna go for a walk?” asked Nick. He already opened the car door and slid one leg out. “Sure.” She got out and walked next to him on the sidewalk. Their hands touched and he took hers naturally, as if they’d always held hands. They circled around to the library and along to the wooded 63

RESTLESS SHADOWS side of the picnic area. He led her to the tables. Three of them lined the bank, painted gray with wooden benches. “Anna, I need to know something.” She held her breath waiting, hoping for some romantic dialogue, something sweet and sincere. The night along with this place provided the perfect backdrop for him to charm her. He was an intelligent man and could probably quote a thousand poets and think of a thousand beautiful lines that would be special to her heart. “Why do you need to go, because of what you see?” Nick didn’t look at her as he spoke, only held a gaze on the moon above them. “I don’t want to talk about this now.” She spoke softly trying to hide the disgust she felt over the let down. Suddenly she recalled a peculiar joke from school about girls that hoped to marry doctors. They’d always get a gynecologist that didn’t dare go near what he worked with all day. With that she supposed it would be better to not get exactly what you want. “Tonight will probably be the last night we can get together before the trip. I have to work late for the next week, so let’s not talk about the…death. We’ll be surrounded by it soon enough.” “I understand. I guess it would be best to let things be for now.” She didn’t want him to let things be. This was only their second date, but she felt close to him, even craved him in some primal way she didn’t understand. Nick came closer to her, drew nearer to the beauty before him. His eyes went over her body capturing the smallest detail. His gaze became a loving look but also full of lust and the indecency of his private thoughts with the slightest emotion thrown in. “What are you staring at?” She looked at him with flirting eyes as he put a single finger to her lips. “Shh.” He stood in front of her watching, wanting. She leaned forward as he put his hands on her knees. A bolt of desire jumped 64

RESTLESS SHADOWS between them, ran up her spine in an unexpected shudder. He reached up and stroked her cheek with a gentle hand. In that light touch she felt a moan rise up, but stifled it into a sigh. His hand continued down, tracing her neck, then the opening of her shirt. He went no further down, but teased with the same single finger tickling her throat then plunging and coming back up. Without thinking she reached up touching his chest and felt the defined muscles hidden beneath. She let her hand glide down to his stomach. There the muscles tightened with her touch and she could see his outline stiffen inches below her hand. He came down covering her mouth with a passionate kiss. His body weight kept coming, pressing against her, laying her down onto the table. She felt his hardness. Her legs trembled from fear or desire. She wasn’t sure. He let one hand slide down to her shirt. She waited, wanting him to touch her breast. With the same feathery touch, he did, making her nipples go hard as he brushed away the fabric hiding them. His kisses became harder, ravenous, following his hands to her breasts. Breathing hard he leaned up and rolled off of her. Their shadows crossed in the bright moonlight as he moved away. She looked at him questioning, afraid to speak and disturb the night around them, but wanting to know why he’d stopped. He was next to her on the table looking at her with the same expression he’d held earlier. “Come home with me.” She didn’t say a word, only nodded a yes to his request. He led her back to his car. She followed blindly, not thinking but feeling too much for logic. There had been one lover before now and she couldn’t remember ever feeling this hunger, this inexplicable need. They got into the car and pulled out. Anna was no longer content to watch the sky. She didn’t bother buttoning her shirt. She wanted him to see her. Instinctively, she reached for him, running her hand up his thigh. His hand grabbed hers. She felt his weakening control and leaned over kissing him gently on the neck. He moaned softly. 65

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Please, it’s several more miles home.” The outline was clear in his pants, pressing against the fabric. “I don’t care.” For once in her life, she didn’t care. She wanted him and felt no shame in it. “Please stop.” She didn’t listen to him. She couldn’t. Her body wouldn’t let her. As her mouth worked against his neck, her hands unbuttoned his shirt. She wanted to touch his skin, feel the firm muscles under the soft flesh, taste him, and be apart of him. When his shirt was unbuttoned to the waist, he reacted. The car swerved, turned down another road. “I can’t get you home,” he confessed. His breathing came hard as her mouth started down his chest. Her lips guided, letting her tongue dart out. He turned onto another road and pulled over. Woods sat on each side of the car. They were totally isolated. He jerked off his shirt and pulled Anna from the car. The bank went down from the road to cool green grass. There he ripped off her clothes in a passionate frenzy leaving a trail from the car. Only when she was naked, lying down on the grass, did he pause. He stood above her watching, going over every inch as if engraving the picture into his brain. “What are you waiting for?” She couldn’t stand a moment longer. Desire burned deep triggering a flood of emotion. “Take me.” “Only if you’re sure. This has nothing to do with Europe. If you say no to me, I understand.” “This is how we were meant to be. Can’t you feel it?” She opened her arms, beckoning him with soft skin and primal lusts. Nick touched her, tracing every curve of her landscape. He lay on top of her, guiding himself in slowly, carefully. She pushed her hips forward moaning as he thrust. They were joined, flesh in flesh. Soon their rhythm surged but no one heard their soft calls in the night or disturbed the symphony of body, mind, motion, and need. The moonlight shone down on their bodies as shadows mimicked their movements in 66

RESTLESS SHADOWS near perfect time against the ground. After that, he found the resolve to get home where part two of their symphony took place.

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Chapter Eleven Nick only saw Anna briefly at the flower shop over the next week. She stayed in his thoughts. Their night together was more than he ever experienced with a woman. Sure, he had lovers before, but no one preoccupied him like Anna. He could still smell her hair, taste her skin. They didn’t get a good chance to talk until the plane trip and then the professor stayed within listening distance, nearly running over Tod in an attempt to keep up. He made it clear that he did not approve of Nick’s involvement nor did he approve of Anna’s behavior, but Charles still helped her with her bags and tried to stand close to her in each of the lines the airline corral customers through. After two hours at the airport, they boarded Delta flight 102 to New York where they would make their connecting flight. “Please keep your seat belts fastened during take-off. The light will go off when you can remove them. Please note the emergency exits.” A flight attendant, dressed in a blue skirt and jacket stood at the front of the compartment and gave the instruction. Her hair was neatly tied back with a matching barrette. Nick looked over at Anna. Every reference to crash, or emergency made during the speech made her cringe as if the attendant were some sort of oracle predicting things that would happen during the flight. The attendant covered everything from oxygen masks to crash positions. The head down reminded him roughly of kissing your ass good bye. It must’ve reminded Anna of the same because she’d turned a ghastly white. Not even her lips held color.

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RESTLESS SHADOWS “There’s nothing to be afraid off. If we crash you’ll be dead before you know what’s happened.” He laughed hoping to fix the moment with humor. “Shut up! That’s not funny.” She tightened her seat belt. “It’s going to be a long flight too. Lots of things can go wrong during long flights. There’s so much room for error.” “If you don’t shut up right now I’m going to kick your ass.” Her eyes were wide, fixed. “Ooh. A lady with a temper.” “I mean it.” She grabbed her barf bag and tossed it at him, next came the magazine. Both hit him squarely between the eyes. “My dear, nothing is going to go wrong on this flight. Everything’s fine. I was just teasing.” “Well don’t tease.” She leaned her head to the window. Dark clouds pressed the horizon in tall columns. “What do you make of that?” She pointed towards the ominous stack. “Looks like a thunderstorm building. I think we’ll take off before it gets here. We should be able to fly in front of it and never see a drop.” His voice sounded reassuring but his eyes held concern. “Tell me something. Why is everything frightening dark? It starts in us as kids. We get afraid of closets, under beds, and any dimly lit place. Then somehow that fear takes hold and lasts forever.” “It’s more than that and you know it. You’ve seen animated darkness in shadow form. You’ve seen things that others couldn’t possibly understand.” She huffed. “What about other people then? Why do they fear darkness?” “Fear of the unknown perhaps. I have a feeling it goes deeper. Everything connected with death and misery is black. It’s been repeated throughout history. Take the Aztecs. They have Huitzilopochtli, god of the sun that they made human sacrifices to, in order to give him strength to fight the night and darkness. The Greeks had Nyx or the darkness that Zeus feared. Manighaeism has the principle of absolute dualism, God 69

RESTLESS SHADOWS being light and Satan being darkness. They even considered women forces of darkness for binding men to the flesh.” He made a cross symbol with his fingers and backed up as if protecting himself. “Don’t try to bind me to your flesh.” He laughed. Nick looked her over and considered her flesh. He couldn’t wait to be in Europe with her, in bed with her. The sweet smell of her hair, the softness of smooth skin, and the way her body arched up and moved with him, all lingered since their night together. He could easily understand how women could bind men to the flesh, and oh what great flesh it is. “Kiss my ass.” She managed her first nervous smile. “If you insist.” Nick felt the plane move forward. It was best to keep her talking. “I don’t think you’re completely evil.” “Women are considered evil in most cultures. Only Wiccans and other fertility groups don’t throw Eve or some other woman like Lilith up as an example of the female heart.” “Isn’t Lilith from Jewish text?” Nick felt the plane rise. He wanted to take her mind off of the trip. “Yes that and Islamic. She’s the one made from the tail God broke off of Adam. I’m sure you heard the story. She refused to submit to Adam’s will, and was expelled from Eden. Her replacement became Eve, the cause of the original sin. There are stories about her screwing Adam after he left Eden and giving birth to evil spirits. Some say she screwed the devil and gave birth to Jinni. In some well-known fables she is a succubus rumored to cause nocturnal emissions allowing her to create demons. In Babylon she became a demon child killer, sometimes she’s a vampire. Just another evil woman out to destroy the wondrous man kind.” “You’re not overly religious, are you?” “I am, but humans shouldn’t play god and make up crap from stories. It’s like reading the definition of food and deciding if it’s evil or good. Sometimes it’s just there, just is, simply stated without extra symbols. Sometimes the symbols are found and then they have a field day. Too many people blindly follow 70

RESTLESS SHADOWS reverends, priests, or whatever, instead of their religion because the pulpit guy came up with a good line.” She looked down at the floor and Nick could see a lifetime of living in the Bible belt and being in a strict Southern Baptist church where pants on women were evil (even if they looked nothing like a man), pretty girls were whores, men made the decisions, and everyone was holier than thou. “I consider myself Christian, but I’m not an extremist about it.” Nick looked outside, wondering how much longer he could take her mind off the flight. “I am too. I believe a lot of that stuff. I believe there’s a lot more to it, though. I have too after what I’ve seen. It’s like darkness, Shades exists just beyond our perception until it does something that directly affects us, but I don’t believe The Shades is the devil. I’ve even seen it in people, but they were on their death beds.” “What was that like?” The plane was in the air and on its way to New York without Anna noticing a thing. “Dark, they’re skin dims. It’s hard to explain. I used to think that Shades existed in everything like time bombs waiting for the right moment to go off, but now I think it travels separately from us all together.” “Why’d you change your mind?” “When I ... I met it. That’s all.” “You met Shades?” He could tell that she was keeping something from him, but didn’t want to press or discuss his own encounter. He was satisfied that she was talking to him about what they would face. “Yes. Ever since, I called it Shades.” She looked straight ahead and closed her eyes. He considered it and agreed. What he’d seen looked like a moving shadow, but shadows don’t look with its own eyes. Shades was a good enough description and much easier to deal with than the Grim Reaper. “The purists believe nothing about humans are divine because of the original sin. Even babies that die not baptized are 71

RESTLESS SHADOWS believed to burn in hell.” Anna looked sad at this generic decision as if it were the embodiment of every error with the church. “I prefer the dance of death in Europe where people would dress as important high ranking officials and dance on graves demonstrating how universally unbiased death can be.” Nick felt the plane level and the seatbelt light shut off. A passenger walked down the aisle by them. Anna looked up, shocked. Her eyes grew as wide as saucers, then she checked her window. Her face lit up then she turned back to Nick, holding his hand in a death grip. “We’re flying?” She whispered as if flying were a magical thing and speaking any louder would break and send them hurtling into the ground. “You didn’t notice the take off. It was somewhere around Lilith.” She smiled and it melted his heart. “Wow.” Nick laughed. He didn’t mean to, but the sincere disbelief on her face forced him. She was sweet and simple, nearly naive in pure innocent wonder. Something he’d only seen in a child who’d witnessed an amazing event that defied explanation. “For a girl that’s met death, you’re easily impressed.” He laughed again seeing the irony in the fear of crashing in a plane, but the willingness to take on the unknown, the end itself like their task had become an unquestionable necessity. “Thanks for keeping me entertained.” She leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek. “It really helped.” “That’s what I’m here for, entertainment.” “I love you, you know.” “I love you too.” They left the bright lights of the Leonardo de Vinci airport around eleven p.m., much later than anticipated. With the time zone changes, they were expected in Italy at nearly the same time that they took off. Unfortunately, there was a long delay at JFK, forcing their plane to be forty-five minutes late and circle helplessly above the lights of the airport, while the international flight to Italy took off. They’d hurried to the ticket counter trying 72

RESTLESS SHADOWS to make their flight, but the plane had already taken off. A snotty woman happily informed them of this with downward looks from thin glasses that kept high on her face from the upturn of her head. It took a four-hour wait in stiff plastic chairs. Luckily, the next flight wasn’t booked up. When their small group finally landed a rather somber looking gentleman wearing jeans and a black sports coat stood by the luggage pick up with a sign that read ARCHEL. From there he ushered them into a small cab and took them like thieves in the night to a hotel. All they saw of the country were a few quick drive bys of beautiful lighted fountains, and statues. Enough to build up excitement over what wonderful rooms they’d be staying in, unfortunately no one budgeted for a nice room and a small dark hotel that had once been someone’s home greeted them with dirty windows, hard beds, and one little old Italian woman that spoke no English. They didn’t mind too much. After a day’s journey, napping in the seated position and fighting for elbow room, the street looked like a fine place to sleep. Anna undressed and slid into bed next to Nick. They were both too tired to consider anything but sleep. A thin sheet covered their naked bodies and, in the darkness of the room, Nick absently thought her skin felt wonderful against his. The idea also crossed his mind that this must be what marriage would be like, happy to feel their partner there but too tired to want. “Nick?” Anna asked in a sleepy voice. “What?” “We made it. We’re in Italy.” “Yes, my dear, we made it this far.” But this part of the trip didn’t frighten him, only what they’d meet later. He wasn’t sure exactly where the creature would lurk, but its place must be among the bones of its victims, staying with them like a guard watching over his trophies. That was the only logical assumption. The opposite of life, so wouldn’t Shades have to dwell in the dark among the dead? Yes, there has to be a point of origin, a home. 73

RESTLESS SHADOWS In his breaking thoughts as sleep seeped into his brain and took over, he considered this. But what will it think of company? A fading image of intruders, unwelcome houseguests played on him. He vaguely remembered his aunts and how they would stay with his family for weeks at a time. Each of their visits felt like an eternity and some of them nearly were. They would fill the bathroom with the thousands of cosmetics they used to cover oddly pale faces and highlight tiny slit shaped eyes that were lost in great seas of flesh. On some stays they would drape their braziers and underwear across the shower like curtains and dare anyone to move them. A scent traveled with them. It consisted of heavy oily skin and perfume he’d only smelled on old ladies. Their visits were long, rude, and unbearable. They would force themselves into everyone’s lives with opinions and ideas no one wanted. Gwen was the only one that stood up to them, much to the disapproval of both parents, but Nick admired it. She spoke her mind, turn for turn, and even defended him once or twice. Her behavior was dismissed as a rebellious teenage phase, but in truth she was smart and right for doing it. After her death the aunts visited more. Each visit became much worse, but everything got worse after that. Everything in the world dropped that day. He vaguely supposed that death moved in then. It seemed to reside in the walls and took hold on everyone that entered the house. His father’s stomach trouble started then, and his mother found out a year later that she had breast cancer. She beat it, minus one breast. He knew deep inside that their ailments were tiny gifts from the beast, tiny messages, markers showing where the creature touched. He escaped the icy grip, but barely. As a child, he realized that you could let something like that inside, let it grow. They’d done that through the death in their hearts. He was too young, or lucky to play victim. The events from the basement started to unfold again, but his mind grew too tired to play that old game. By the time he found himself ten again, he fell asleep and not even the nightmares could wake him. 74

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Chapter Twelve Charles was also extremely tired, but sleep didn’t come. His room was across from Nick’s and this simple fact haunted him in the darkness. He lay there staring at the outline of the window with its white sheers and wooden frame. A large white pitcher stood on the dresser against the wall and cast a small dismal shadow on the door from the street lamps outside. He looked at the shadow and found some fascination with it, the soft elongated lines that hid a deeper darkness than the rest of the surrounding wall. The shapes it formed were larger than the original caught in the projected light and left a peaceful void. In some ways he longed to be in the void, not the shadow itself, but the blackened peace that lay beyond. Some part of him yearned for that kind of sleep, that existence beyond life that his awake mind could not begin to comprehend. He imagined the coolness, the comfort from lack of pain, lack of substance. Emotions would surely be absorbed there and become part of the void itself, mellowing out the extremes into one peaceful glide of sensuousness, the ultimate feel good ride like sex on Sunday morning where there’s no rush only slow satisfaction. His sleepy mind turned to Anna. He wanted her, needed her. A thousand occasions passed in his classroom when he could imagine her naked, see her mouth moving with love cries as her body lay writhing under him, but he was her teacher and teach her he could. He would show her a little corporal punishment, a little old-time hand that would fix her right up. He’d fantasized about her bent over his desk, ass in the air. There would be foreplay, of course. One swat for wearing bras that hid her tits, another swat for the lack of mini-skirts, then another for not prompting him for a better grade with that pretty mouth of hers, finally he’d let her have it for Nick. He might have to pull the paddle out on that one. Let that ass have a few good swats for humping a boy 75

RESTLESS SHADOWS instead of a man. She’d been acting very naughty, probably lying naked next to Nick now, rubbing against him, allowing him to touch her. Oh yes, that deserved some harsh discipline, very harsh. Maybe even a mark or two just in case Nick caught another glimpse of her ass, just proof that he’d been there. A couple of good welts that would assure she wanted no other man, ever again. Maybe, he’d even make the boy watch. That would suit him fine. Making the little bastard watch him fuck his woman on the very desk he’d turned in homework. It would be fine indeed. An erection grew between his legs and he stroked it confidently. He was sure a college prick wasn’t as nice as this and he’d show Anna that too. He’d make her beg for it. All he had to do was get Nick out of the way. That shouldn’t be difficult in a foreign country surrounded by the dead. In fact it would be a cinch. Accidents happen all the time and disposing of a body in a catacomb of dead would be easy. All he needed to do is hide the smell. Those old places didn’t smell anymore, but Nick would. His rotting body would have a terrible stench. He stroked himself harder, faster, but the vision of Anna bent over his desk didn’t excite him as much as the idea of Nick dead. He could see the pretty boy’s head smashed open, relieving the bits of gray matter, worthless and ruined onto the floor in globs. He’d do it in one of the ossuaries or perhaps in the catacombs. His rotting corpse would be lost there for months among the bones, maybe even mummify, but that wasn’t as erotic. He preferred dead eyes instead of the bright blue. He wanted a gray rotting hull of a man that might have been a great historian. He wanted cold skin and red rich blood, flowing away from the body, flowing down into the ground, down to the dead. The mire would be a great attraction, splashing over old bones. Seeing Nick’s organs spilled on the dirt as the last breath left his body. Watching as his guts added to a puddle beneath him. The goo, the broken skull, and the blood would be glorious. He’d rub it over Anna’s body and make her like it. Over her breasts, then lay her down on top of his dead corpse. 76

RESTLESS SHADOWS His heartbeat rose and he felt his climax pulsing its way out. He stroked harder, faster, needing the coming explosion. Another moment of the corpse and the shattered broken skull launched him into a flood that spewed over his belly and forced him to cry out. In his relief he didn’t notice the change in the darkness, or how it engulfed him in a shadow that held the shape of a pitcher. Against the door there was no sign of the previous blackness. The thing moved, finding a better game than being camouflaged against a blank door. It changed, touched the professor, and wrapped itself against his flesh in a rippling motion. He couldn’t see it, but the thing was there, reaching.

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Chapter Thirteen A hot humid day greeted them, bringing on an uncomfortable stickiness and stirring them from their sleep. Anna pushed away the sheet in a nightmarish daze. She tried to focus, but wasn’t fully awake and held on to fragments of dreams. Images unfolded before her eyes as she struggled into consciousness. “Anna.” She tried to see who spoke, but clarity was impossible. She’d been locked into some waking nightmare. Finally, something started taking shape. A dark figure stood in front of her. Its eyes were white, too white, almost blinding, poking out from behind the darkness like a cloak wrapped tightly around it, with pure blackness enveloping every feature. Something outstretched from it. NO! Anna held a scream in her mind, but couldn’t force a vocal cry. Please, no! Suddenly, she realized who stood there, what old acquaintance paid her a visit. It approached as a friend with arms outstretched, but only a long nemesis comes like this in the placid layers between sleep and waking. When she’d first seen it, she thought that it wore a black garment like the fabled grim reaper. Later, she realized the cloak was part of the form, part of whatever substance its body held. There were arms and legs, to a strange extent, as it drifted on the air becoming indistinguishable from the shadows on the wall until it broke from their form. This fact became evident during her accident when her tormentor shed its disguise and grabbed her bleeding wrists, letting the crimson run into its black depths. She’d tried to pull away, feeling only an icy breeze at its touch, no firm hold or 78

RESTLESS SHADOWS contact but finding escape impossible. Shades held her with an almost solid grip and waited while life drained from her body. It fed on her like a vampire, not with the blood, but with the life she released. A cold entered her. That’s when she knew she was dying, but it turned into more than just a death. Something changed in her. There was a feeling of falling and darkness. The creature moved into her, blending her soul with the cold spirit. She found herself becoming part of it, being taken over by the black void that corrupted her soul and a part of her liked it. As her eyes drifted shut, she feared she would never open them again and she feared for more than her mortal body. She did open them in the hospital the next day with an IV unit pumping blood back into her arm and the gentle beep of a monitor above her head. When her vision cleared, her sight became sharper than ever. That’s when her perception changed and the creature’s workings became obvious. It would lurk in the halls, or pass through her room to other floors. She wasn’t sure of its motives, not completely, not until the day she saw it take her grandfather. She’d been home from the asylum that held her after the hospital bed. Her grandfather took a turn for the worst with emphysema. He’d been lying in bed, hooked to his oxygen tube. His breathing sounded raspy, shallow in the fragile body of a man that had been reduced to that of an invalid. The kind eyes of her grandfather changed to glassy, nearly artificial as if death waited too long to take that worn out body. She sat in a chair a few feet from the bed, that’s when she saw it enter the room. It rippled in, and waved a silent black shadowy limb to her, like the acknowledgment of a friend. The darkness came quietly, almost sweetly. With long black fingers it shut his eyes. There was a shudder in his body, and she swore that he smiled. That’s when she knew its intentions and named it Shades. She hadn’t seen it that close since her grandfather’s death. Here in the hotel, it approached. Her eyes struggled to watch it as it flowed across the room in flat two-dimensional 79

RESTLESS SHADOWS silence. It came closer to her, and she fought to move, to break the dream embrace that kept her tied down to this single point. It reached a long strand like arm out to her, to touch her and she couldn’t help wondering what terrors, what pain would exist in the touch this time. Then she remembered the coldness of it and shivered at the thought of such a whispery thing, a creature no more solid than night air, but far more deadly. Please, Shades, don’t! It leaned down close to her face. As if in answer to her thought’s request, it smiled. The image looked strange, a lighter point in the middle, curving up and pinpricks of light illuminating the features. Then slowly, the strand came out to form a hand, then a single finger that waved back and forth as if to say “no, no bad child." Fear coursed through her like lightning. She threw herself backward, trying to crawl away, pushing herself back against the headboard. Coolness came to her in the heated room and she knew instantly Shades had paid her a visit. The feeling came closer, touching her on the cheek in an icy prick that left like a quick stolen kiss. “NO!” She screamed and this time her voice was heard. This time she did break through into consciousness, into life. Her eyes flashed open to Nick leaning above her. Both hands were flaying wildly giving Nick a slap here and there. “It’s just a dream. You’re okay.” He tried to grab her hands and hold her. “You were having a nightmare.” After a moment, she realized what was happening. “Nick?” She spoke as if she was unsure, but her arms ceased their attack and grabbed him in a hug that stole his breath. “Is that you?” “I’m here. Everything’s fine.” “Was I dreaming?” She knew the answer. She hadn’t been. Dreams aren’t that real, that precise nor do they leave a trace that the icy kiss gave her. A tiny part of her cheek still felt numb from it. “Did you see anything?” “I was sleeping until you kicked the shit out of me.” 80

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Sorry.” She let go and pulled away from him. Sweat already started to gather where their bodies touched. “What were you dreaming about?” His gaze didn’t come up to her face, but stayed on her naked breasts and in that moment it irritated her, became insulting as if the hero would only rescue the princess if she offered him some. “Nothing.” Suddenly she didn’t feel like telling him. She’d expected more from him. She wanted him to sense her fear, somehow know her well enough to see that she needed comfort not foreplay. Her eyes glanced around the room, suddenly feeling another bit of fear and wondering if Shades might still there, watching her from a corner. She searched frantically, looking for the slightest discoloration, the mere hint of dimness. The bare beige walls were empty with only the mildest natural shadows from the window. A modest fruit painting done in bright colors hung across from them in a wide wooden frame over a dresser with a white porcelain pitcher decorated in blue painted flowers. There was a chair to the side done in tan. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. She felt better in the generic quality, the absence of anything strange or exotic in the room. “Honey?” He asked with eyes wide and a doubting expression on his face. “Do you see something?” “No, just a bad dream. That’s all.” Her irritation faded with the fear, but she still wanted to be alone for a minute, away from his eyes that only left her breasts momentarily. He seemed to be studying her for his next lay, his next opportunity to strike. She saw the lusts too clearly in his eyes, which made her feel cheap, as if her emotions didn’t count because she was scenery, not an integral part of his thoughts. “I’d like to take a shower.” There were two doors in the small room. She got up, taking the sheet with her, and opened the first to find a musty smelling closet lined with wood. The other door led back out to the hall. “Okay, so where’s the bathroom?” She stood there with the sheet dragging across the floor behind her, looking at Nick who remained shamelessly naked on the bed. She kept her arms 81

RESTLESS SHADOWS pressed flat against the sheet suddenly realizing that her wrists, the makeup, everything would be exposed. He might see the evidence of her past crossing the flesh of her wrists, scrolled out in beautiful scarred lines. The marks weren’t easily seen, but carelessness, close contact, would make them impossible to hide in the harsh morning light. She didn’t want him seeing her weakness. Quickly she turned her back to him, pretending to look at the doors, and glanced down at the flesh at her wrists. The lines were there. The make-up faded. She started thinking up excuses for it, any lie that would hide her weakness. She decided to get dressed just to be away from him when someone knocked on the door. “Who is it?” asked Nick who was frantically grabbing into his bag, trying to find some clothes. “Charles. Can I come in?” Nick stopped digging for clothes and motioned for Anna to come back to bed. The smile on his face became that of pure mischief. She complied, letting him spread the sheet over the top of both of them. “Come in.” He swung open the door with wide eyes and his lips twisted into a disgusted snarl. Both hands wrenched into tight fists that he immediately stuck behind his back, but not before Anna saw them or realized the danger in such a severe reaction. She’d expected a comment, perhaps even the disgust, but the fists demonstrated an uncontrollable rage that was ready to blow. “Aren’t you two cute?” Charles spat the words from between clenched teeth. “Hi, professor. How’d you sleep?” asked Nick with an air that showed he missed the flush of fury. “Fine. Not as well as you two, I see. I just wanted to inform you that there’s some pastry downstairs if you’re hungry. We will be leaving in two hours for Santa Maria Della Concezione. It’s on the Via Veneto near the Piazza Barberini. There’s over four thousand Capuchin’s buried there.” 82

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Professor, where’s the bathroom?” Anna felt a sudden urge to go and hoped this little lecture wouldn’t take long. “Down the hall, my dear. There’s one bathroom per floor, but it’s clean.” “Great.” That’s all she could say. There was something wrong with them, a dimness like a hidden secret. Something cold and private that he was keeping inside, masking behind his soul. “I’ll leave you two alone, just remember that I want you ready in two hours. This trip isn’t a vacation.” He shut the door causing a wave of relief to come over her. Nick didn’t seem bothered. To be exact, he appeared amused, nearly proud over the situation, like he’d pulled off some brilliant prank on a teacher from elementary school. “He was pissed.” Nick laughed and reared back, pressing his head against the wooden board on the bed. “Did you see the look on his face? I think next time we should be making out or something. That’ll get him.” “You should be more careful. I don’t think the professor was playing.” She looked at her hero. He was wonderful but a little foolish. Anna got into her bag and withdrew a white cotton robe. Then she pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She wasn’t smiling, not even trying. There was a nervous edge holding on her, grating in her mind with the possibilities to come. She grabbed her things and went out the door, leaving a bewildered Nick on the bed.

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Chapter Fourteen They arrived at Santa Maria del Concezione. Nick had seen pictures of the burial chambers, but couldn’t have been prepared for this. They were beautiful, yet awful, mesmerizing, and offensive. The strange necro-art captivated and repulsed him all at once and left a bit of awe for the designers. What else could one feel for decor that instead of being comprised of paint, canvas, clay, or wood, utilized dead bodies. To be specific, the bone, the very structure that holds skin and muscle, the support and the last to decompose of the mortal body had become art. In the first room, it began. A vast intrinsic display of skeletal bones, arms, legs, spines, decorated the wall in elaborate, planned patterns giving the art of living a new flip side, as art dedicated to death. Arches grew along the walls created from the human frame, running up and cutting in for niches where whole skeletons dressed in the monk’s cloak lie, quietly surrounded by the parts of their brothers with their bony grins poking out from behind the hoods. They passed under a chandelier comprised of hand and foot bones in tiny exact patterns. There were six vaults like these in all. Each held nearly romantic patterns all created from the discarded remains. “Talk about your recycling,” joked Nick, but no one listened. Their minds were taken up by the perversity. Anna walked by him mesmerized. Nick watched her pass. Charles and Tod had different reactions to what they were seeing. Tod looked a little green and Nick imaged he’d be hurling in the corner before the tour was finished. Charles was the opposite. He looked peaceful, at home, as if the macabre scene were like a beautiful green meadow with a rainbow arching in the sky above them. That look of total satisfaction, harmony among a 84

RESTLESS SHADOWS vast bone yard, rearranged by either a derelict or strange artists’ passion appeared troubling. Nick stopped looking at Charles. Anna recaptured his attention. She stood before a rib cage altar with skulls placed on either side. For a moment, he thought she fell to her knees to pray. Then he realized that she wasn’t considering kneeling, but trying to stand with badly shaken legs. She was seeing something. He recognized the look of troubled interest, the eyes of a woman who couldn’t shut it out if she wanted to and he believed over the years she tried many times to stop the small horror show her mind played with the totally clear discernment. The creature that haunted her, gave her this sight but whether she was bequeathed of a gift or punishment, only Shades knew. Seeing his mark should’ve driven her insane, but she’d been smarter and accepted her new ability. Perhaps Shades had tried to trap her into attempting suicide again. Her eyes were focused on the altar, but he couldn’t see anything dangerous or dark. He struggled, but lacked of ability to see this thing, to acknowledge it, protect himself from it. Paranoia set in and his skin became prickly, as if some bug were crawling over him, lightly touching the hairs just to make its presence known. He shook it off, relaxed and looked again. This time he could focus in on the altar. His skin flushed white at the image and he felt his knees trembling like gelatin. A pain came into his chest and he realized he stopped breathing. He gulped in air and watched, too afraid to speak or move. Several feet in front of him, and much closer to Anna, quietly sat the altar below a bone chandelier. The ribs that formed the base of the altar were moving in and out, stretching the gray frame work several inches creating a space between the bones then coming back in on itself, compacting tight with a nearly audible click and expanding again. When the bones drew in, dust clouded up from the crude exhale, although no breeze or movement of the air could be felt. 85

RESTLESS SHADOWS A hundred old bones with the flesh melted away from the bodies of the devoted were joined in a living altar for death. No one else could see it, but to Nick, the altar was breathing. “Isn’t this place amazing?” asked Charles. There was a maddening quality to his calm question. It tried to place something every day in the midst of the amazing, like a burger on Mars. For a moment Nick wanted to scream. Terror felt right, necessary, but his logical mind shut off the course of panic that threatened to take hold. Tod and Charles were blind to the display. If he reacted at all they would think he’d lost his mind. “Amazing,” Nick spoke with a hushed voice. More than a whisper might change to the scream that lingered in the base of horror. Fear was like that, taken in low doses, pretending the view looked normal made it tolerable. It’s when it came all at once that control fled, or when the unimaginable tapped you on the shoulder. That hadn’t happened, not really, not yet. For now he could maintain in the quiet. He could pretend to see things normally. He could bottle up the scream. “What do you think of the altar?” Charles stood near Anna, trying for polite conversation. “Isn’t it amazing?” “I don’t believe it.” Anna turned away and walked back to the beginning of the room leaving Charles by the breathing relic. “Is the tour over?” asked Tod. His face was a twisted mesh of revolution and sickness. He kept his hand by his mouth in a demonstration of nausea. “Oh, Tod what are you going to do when we hit the next stop?” Charles put a hand on his back. “What’s the next stop?” “Santa Maria dell’ Orazione e Morte,” he said with a terrible Italian accent that was bound to insult any natives who heard it. “The translation is Saint Mary of the Oration and death. If it will make you feel better, we can grab lunch first. They have the best pasta dishes in the world.” That did it. Tod ran as fast as he could for the exit, holding his mouth with both hands. His shirt was out, puffing along as he ran and leaving a trail of dust behind. They all hoped he made the 86

RESTLESS SHADOWS exit before vomiting. It would be embarrassing to explain how the bone art came to be covered in pastry chunks and stomach fluid. The scene did help lighten the moment. Both Anna and Nick turned away from the altar and didn’t look back until they reached the door. At that moment, with safety from this place so close, Nick felt a phantom hand coming closer, reaching for his shoulder. It felt like a replay of racing up the basement steps and reaching the top one. He’d become nine again and wanting, needing to run from the invisible hands ready to clamp down on him. It would be the altar, the base with ghost hands trying to stop him. He couldn’t run. There was no place to go. Anna stood in front of him with Charles and Tod. His skin turned goose flesh. He wanted to look back. Either look or go into a crazed panic and push everyone out of the way to get to the door. If there was something behind him, he needed to see. It was an impulse, a play into paranoia, but he did it anyway. He had to. He turned, determined to meet this head on. When the altar came back into his view, it stopped the breathing, or he couldn’t see it. Either was fine with him. There were no hands reaching for his shoulder, nothing trying to stop his departure. It might have been there. The feeling of ghost hands near him, phantom eyes watching him, didn’t leave. He held a steady gaze on the altar just in case, while the others left the room in front of him. Then as if to perform a show, a single bone came out and rolled across the floor, stopping a foot in front of him. It was small, a hand bone probably. Nick didn’t stick around to analyze it. He ran back to the others, happy when they rejoined the outside world among the bright, busy, dusty city. The four of them walked quietly, not really seeing the city, but still somehow back in the ossuary haunted by its darkness even in the daylight. They came upon a small tavern. Nick was the first to look up. The cobblestone building had a thick wooden door propped open with a chair. It looked inviting in a simple way, like a comfortable country home. Nick asked them with a 87

RESTLESS SHADOWS look if they wanted to go in. Each one nodded and followed him into the welcome bar without hesitation. They sat at a table near the door. At the back of the tavern was an open kitchen where nothing was cooking and a heavy man stood beside the grill smoking his pipe while discussing current events with an elderly man at the bar. “What do you guys want?” asked Charles. He didn’t sit down but hovered over them like a waiter. “I need a drink.” Nick spoke first, but the others were obviously in agreement. “Get me beer or wine or whatever they have.” “Same here.” Anna reached in her pocket and tossed a few bills on the table. “I don’t know what the exchange is on Lier. Just take what you need.” Her voice sounded weak, frustrated. Nick wasn’t sure why, but he felt the same way. It didn’t make much sense. They’d come all this way to see Shades, as she put it, and now he felt like running scared. There was no excuse for it, but he couldn’t let panic stop him. He’d been after it too long. To be honest he felt like a character from a western, like he a marshal crossing the desert following the trail of a wanted man, but those old western movies couldn’t apply here. In those, good won in a big shoot out with dust kicked up from spurred boots. The fastest draw took down the villain to the swoons and cheers from the crowd that hid until the hero won. There could be no shoot out here. Shades couldn’t be killed, so what was he after? Revenge? Could it be stopped? He didn’t think so, but he couldn’t think about it. This was something that must be sought on impulse. Logic couldn’t apply. A disturbance at the bar broke into his thoughts. Charles stood there trying to order something from the keep, but his Italian was poor. Finally, the man with the pipe handed Charles a bottle of wine. When Charles nodded, money was exchanged and sour looks passed. Charles came back to the table with the bar keep saying something derogatory that brought a laugh from the 88

RESTLESS SHADOWS elderly man at the bar. Charles pretended not to hear, and that made Nick laugh too. “Here’s some wine, but I didn’t get any glasses.” Charles set the bottle down hard enough to make a few drops of wine spill from the open top. “I’ll get us some glasses.” Nick didn’t know any Italian, but he liked the bartender simply because he didn’t like Charles. He walked over and held up four fingers then cupped his hand and brought it to his mouth. The bartender immediately slapped him on the arm in a friendly gesture of understanding. He brought out a tray with four glasses. Before Nick could pick up the tray, the man grabbed his hand and leaned closer to him. “I can speak English.” He said through his thick gray mustache and thicker accent. “Your friend there is just, how do you say, arrogant.” “I know exactly what you mean.” Nick laughed again. It felt good to have something to laugh at. “We call him an asshole.” “Very good.” He took out his pipe and laughed a little too loud, catching the attention of their table. “You hungry? I have some very good olive ripiene. It’s olives breaded and fried. Very good.” “Sounds delicious. Thanks you.” “Aye, I’ll bring them out to you.” Nick returned to the table with the tray of glasses. “I ordered us some fried olives. The bartender says that they’re very good here.” Charles glared at him. “I didn’t know you spoke Italian.” “Neither did I.” Nick smiled, then filled his glass and gulped down the sweet liquid. “He said that he’d bring them to us.” “When do we meet up with our guide?” asked Anna. “In France. He’s going to meet us in Paris.” Charles looked at Tod who was barely sipping his wine. “You’ve been quiet. Feeling better?” “Yes.” His eyes didn’t leave his cup. “Don’t worry about getting sick. You’ll get used to this stuff.” Nick spoke more to himself than to Tod. “You’ll get used 89

RESTLESS SHADOWS to it.” He considered his comment and realized that adjusting to anything could be possible. “Whatever.” A childish edge came into Tod’s voice. “Olive ripiene.” The bartender came up and set down a large bowl still steaming. “Enjoy.” None of them really felt hungry until that moment. Nick wasn’t sure if it was the wine or the enjoyment from bothering Charles, but either way he felt better and the olives looked delicious. “Will we get to the next stop before dark?” asked Anna. “We should.” Charles spoke sweetly and handed her the bottle of wine. “Isn’t it strange how so many people view dead bodies differently?” Nick didn’t realize how morbid his comment sounded until everyone was staring at him. “Think about it. Doctor’s use them as tools, morticians find them as clients, and apparently Capuchins see them as art. Simple human framework described and used in innumerably different ways with only honor in mind.” “I believe we are all aware of that.” Charles rolled his eyes. “Just trying to make conversation. I guess you’re not really good at that.” Nick lifted his glass as a reminder. “Conversation isn’t a problem, redundancy is.” Charles spoke slowly as if addressing a small child. “Not bad old man. Can you think of some more witty comments? Maybe you can impress Anna.” He tipped his glass as if toasting the professor. “Apparently impressing her isn’t that difficult.” “That doesn’t say much for you then. I don’t think she’s been impressed by you yet.” Anna got up and went outside. She flashed one look from squinted eyes that spoke her disgust much more clearly than words and both men fell silent and watched her go. Even the two men at the bar stopped speaking. “Apparently Anna doesn’t care much for your comment.” Charles sneered as if he’d won the battle. 90

RESTLESS SHADOWS “That’s all right.” He leaned across the table. “I’ll make it up to her tonight.” “I think we’d better get going. We need to see this place today. We’re on a tight schedule.” Charles downed his wine and stood to leave. “I hope you’re ready to get to work in France Nick. This trip wasn’t planned for your pleasure.” **** Anna waited outside and when the men appeared she kept her distance. There was a corrupt feeling in being treated like an object. She supposed some women cherished such affections and stood back like a china doll waiting for the victor to sweep her off her feet, laying claim to her. She was no china doll. Being used as a last weapon to fire between suitors was being used nonetheless and she wouldn’t stand for it. If she had her way now, she’d run off and leave the group of them to their testosterone world. Unfortunately she had no say, and without enough money she was forced to share living quarters with Nick. She dreaded seeing him tonight. It became more than him looking idly at her breasts while she was petrified. It was more than the argument in the bar. She didn’t like to admit it, but she felt a connection with him. That’s the real reason the little differences were getting to her, not the connection of course, but what that link would feel like broken. If she could maintain a distance then when the time came to go on, she’d be okay. There was a slim chance that Nick would break her heart. More fed her fear than possible heartache. It grew into a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach that he wouldn’t make it back from this trip. The premonition worked its way through her whenever she looked at him, leaving a bad taste in her mouth and a lump in her throat. She hoped the feeling was just stupid paranoia, but her heart told her that this trip would be more than a look into death. They would join with it. In some ways that notion delighted her. She could finally put her demons to rest, but watching her traveling companions die would do no good and so she slid her fears to the back of her mind and continued on. 91

RESTLESS SHADOWS At the corner, Charles got a cab that took them to the Via Giulia. They got out and walked along the quiet street with its long leafy vines flowing down the walls that provided some cool shade in the hot evening. Along the Tiber River at the Lungotevere was the entrance for Santa Maria dell’ Orazione e Morte. Charles reached up and rang the bell. A moment later a nun appeared and escorted the group inside. She was an older woman with small tuffs of gray hair peeking out from her habit and long wrinkles running the length of her face. Her voice sounded kind, soft but so thickly accented no one could understand her. At least Charles pretended to by nodding every so often and mumbling his limited Italian phrases, which by the nun’s confused expression, made no sense. They passed into the church through the doorway decorated in stone skulls. Anna found this chilling, as if it were a church for death and not at all for worship. Some cultist headquarters where Shades ruled and fear became the religion. She knew it wasn’t true. This place was a Christian rest for those that wouldn’t have been given one. Still the decor looked far from the simple corner church with its bright panes of stained glass and sweet, soft lighting. This place hauled out it’s dead once a year, set up displays of the after life with skeletal actors disturbed from whatever rest they were permitted here. They acted in plays for demonstration of what was to come, bits of show for the living. She knew all this from research. Many Friday nights she’d been in the library learning under the small reading lights in an all but empty room with Mrs. MacEntire gazing at her from behind a computer screen. In that large chilly room, under her watchful gaze, she’d read about this place, along with others that held a much more chilling account of the eternal. There were groups who stuffed dead bodies in trees and shallow graves until rot left only bones for the proper burial. There were some that put corpses in towers with open roofs where vultures would pick the skeletons clean. None 92

RESTLESS SHADOWS of those details bothered her then. She read them all with avid interest. Everything changed when you’re about to walk into an ossuary. It is much easier to read about death customs from the safe distance in a library or her room, than to see them up close. Seeing them verified too much, including how easily people are sucked into the morbid and seem to thrive there, as if their soul longed for death and they tried to fulfill their wishes this way, through the display of other departed bodies. Behind her Tod started snapping off pictures. This little venture would end in a couple of good papers written and maybe a raise for Charles if he managed to add a class or a lecture to his current schedule. He might even have a book deal in mind. The group went down a narrow hall led first by the nun, then Charles who looked excited, like a child on Christmas morning. Down the grim passageway, they finally came to a somber room filled with the relics of life. There was a cross made of skulls and patterns with innumerable bones placed in fantastic designs along the walls. This place, like the last, used bones as bases for lights. There were three chandeliers made with small bones hanging from the ceiling and two candelabras, making the thought of eternal darkness the holders of light. Small niches held more unpleasant surprises as what looked like the grim reaper himself, standing there with scythe in hand, no more than a skeleton to watch over the hopeless room with its dismantled victims. The gray bones and fleshless grin that peaked from beneath his cloak watched and waited. The fabled figure brought to reality through another’s rotted body left to preside over the room sent a strange shock through her. The image was so real, so terrible that Anna stepped back afraid its skeletal arm would come to life and swing out with the scythe, taking her life on the spot and adding another to the chamber. Glass cases, display cases seemingly with his momentos, ran against the walls with skulls piled up in great numbers. Like all good trophies they held the name and date of the victim, similar in details to a sporting event. Another skeleton stood nearby 93

RESTLESS SHADOWS holding an hourglass as a constant reminder that time is running out. Perhaps, timing the moment his friend would pay the living another visit. Anna found the last skeleton particularly fascinating. There were no supernatural scares here, but a strange order, a peace existing among the chaos represented in a skeleton holding a hourglass. Something about the natural laws that made sense when she stared into his blank eyes and bone grin. Death stayed unique and universal. She reached out a hand, wanting to touch it, but not quite daring. She felt a twinge of jealousy for the knowledge he’d gained, what he knew from his demise. The occupant of that hull understood life and death, knew whether heaven, hell or another life existed beyond our realm. He knew where the soul traveled and reminded every visitor of the day they’d meet their ends and meet Shades. She touched her cheek unconsciously with this thought. The icy touch Shades left, scared her and uplifted in some strange ways too. It acknowledged her and she hoped during their travels it would fully reveal itself, answer her, and perhaps even take her. Death wasn’t a goal, but it somehow rooted itself into her being. She didn’t want to die. If asked, she would swear she wanted to live forever, but she yearned for something more, at the least a reason to live, some excuse to go on. There needed to be something that would make a husband, job, kids, and all, reasonable prospects. Something that would let her sleep at night and not be afraid to walk around with eyes open to the world. It had been a long time since her last suicide attempt. She put on a facade of happiness, and few ever knew what she really felt or who she really was. Focusing kept her on her studies and at work. Even now there were brief periods when she wondered what it was all for. She’d pushed herself into believing this trip held the answer. This expedition would start it all or end it all for her. Looking at the skeleton with his gentle reminder of time made her not care which came. At least the ongoing lie would end whatever the outcome. 94

RESTLESS SHADOWS “You okay?” asked Nick. He’d been staring at the skulls in the display case then made his way over to her. “Yes,” she paused and checked the location of Tod and Charles. “Did you see it on the last stop?” She’d wanted to ask there, but everyone stayed within listening distance. He swallowed hard and took a moment to answer. Finally, he found the words, forcing them out in a quiet strained speech. “I ...I saw the alter. I saw it moving... breathing” Their voices sounded strange in the stillness. For a moment, Anna expected one of the skeletons to put a finger to its mouth and shush them like a tired librarian. It didn’t, but Charles did take notice of their sounds and glanced harshly in their direction. “See anything else?” Anna whispered, not taking her eyes away from her friend in the wall. The motionless man stood listening to every word with careful attention. “No. Nothing else. I haven’t seen anything here.” He paused again and she waited, wondering what new words were choking him. “Listen, I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have acted like that. The professor gets to me. Will you forgive me?” “Sure. I think we’ve all got a little jet lag. Everything will improve when we hit Paris.” She didn’t believe that. Something told her that the worst of it would be there, like some cancerous growth waiting for the right catalyst. “You’re probably right. I was hoping that you and I could sneak away for a private dinner. How does that sound?” “Wonderful.” She wanted to get away from Charles with his strange eyes and Tod’s weak stomach. “I hope we can manage it.” “No problem. When they decide to go to dinner, we tell them that we’re turning in. After they’re gone we can leave.” “What if they see us go out?” She didn’t want a public display with Charles and Nick going at it like they were in the bar. “Come on, we’re not twelve. Getting hungry after they leave isn’t a crime. We can play it off as bad timing.” He put his hands on her shoulders from behind and continued whispering into her ear. “It’ll be romantic. Besides, I owe you.” 95

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Yes, you do.” She turned to him and found the scenery odd for a romantic conversation. Discussions of life didn’t fit in amongst the dead with their motionless listening and blank expressions. Then again if the skeletons could hear, it might be a nice change of pace from the silent dust and strange guardians. “It’s a date.” “What are you two discussing?” Charles walked up behind them holding a look of persecution. “Anything interesting?” “No. Not really.” Anna answered before Nick could launch one of his smart-ass remarks. “Where’s Tod?” “He had to go outside. I think he’s got a touch of the flu or something.” Anna looked at Nick who held the same expression of disbelief. Viruses didn’t only act up in ossuaries, but neither wanted to say that out loud. Sweeping away Tod’s short comings in the comical idea of sudden illness seemed better. “Are you two finished here?” “Yes.” Again, Anna answered before Nick had the chance. “When will we be leaving for France?” “Tomorrow. We’ll have more time there. This was just a rush stop. A few quick glimpses into the macabre for us to appreciate on our travels.” He looked back at the nun who stood impatiently by the door. “Come on. I believe we’ve overstayed our welcome here.” “I believe you’re right.” Anna led the way to the door with Nick following closely. The professor lingered watching them from behind. “Sweet Morte,” he whispered, then gave a wink to the skeleton holding the hourglass. “Death meet Nick, Nick meet death.” Charles caught up to them at the gate. Anna could hear the heavy footsteps running up from behind. Tod stood in the street staring blankly forward. He didn’t look up, until Anna spoke. “Are you okay?” she asked. “I guess so.” His voice didn’t sound too sure. There was a sullen look about him, depressed. His skin turned an ashy gray 96

RESTLESS SHADOWS and dark bags clung under his eyes. There was a sound to his breathing, short hard rasps like an old man charging up a hill. “Are you sure?” Anna knew he was lying. There was a scent on him. She recognized it as fear, adrenaline mixed with sweat, a sour strong odor that crept up from his pores. There was another malodorous aroma. It was vaguely familiar and equally displeasing, urine. Wet splatters on his shoes and a small puddle on the street proved the last analysis. Something gave him a shock and he wasn’t talking about it. The phrase scared the piss out of me, came to mind. “I’m sure. I got a touch of a bug or something. It’s no big deal. I’ll be over it by morning.” “Okay.” She wasn’t going to argue. Fear affects each person differently. Some freeze up, run or cry when the situation becomes too much. Others lashed out at the ones around them. A few loose control of their bodily functions. His was a mixture. Tod went on this trip for a reason. Whatever that was, she had no place to interfere. “Okay,” he echoed. The tone of resentment was still there, but pink had started to come back to his cheeks. “Let’s see if we can get a cab to take us back to the hotel.” Charles took over the lead and started them back along the Tiber. Anna looked out over the water but her mind stayed on one subject, what happened to Tod. The last stop made him sick but not like this. She tried to let it go and think of happier thoughts, like dinner tonight. Nothing helped. Everything kept returning to the shocked face, pale and afraid. “Nick,” she whispered. “Did you notice where Tod was when he got sick?” “No. I wasn’t paying him any attention.” “I don’t think any of us were,” she confessed shamefully. A fright like that could only mean one thing. Shades appeared to the young man. It was either toying with him or readying to take him.

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Chapter Fifteen Charles went to dinner alone. He understood why Tod didn’t want to join him. On the drive to the hotel, Tod turned a ghastly pale and fairly unresponsive in conversation. This was going to be a long trip if he could only stand a moment in the catacombs before running out into the street. He asked Nick and Anna if they wanted to go, but they didn’t. They preferred to spend time alone in their room under the guise of sleep. Charles knew exactly what they were doing and it had nothing to do with sleep. Ahead of him was an open dining area to one of the nearby restaurants. He didn’t realize how far he had walked. He was standing by the Portico di Ottavia, a lovely place with stone columns and simple tables covered in white linen. Lights hung high on the walls, giving romantic lighting and gentle shadows on the tables. Everyone was eating on the large porch that looked more like a widened sidewalk. Cars parked a few feet away but everyone looked too engrossed in their meals to pay attention to anything else. Charles walked up and a waiter directed him to a table, a tiny two seater against the wall. It would’ve been a perfectly romantic place, if he had a date. Unfortunately the only one with a date was Nick. “And what would you like this evening?” The waiter spoke perfect English, making the professor glad he didn’t have to grapple with the few phrases he knew. 98

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Some wine, please.” The waiter stood there for a moment expecting further instructions. “Sir, what type?” His hands stayed clasped together in front of his white shirt and black pants. He had thick black hair combed to the side that Charles greatly envied. “Something dry. Surprise me, please.” “I will bring you a bottle of Frascati. I’m sure you’ll like it.” “Thank you.” Charles noticed the young muscular build and suddenly hated the waiter. The world was filled with boys like him, boys that thought nothing of running a man with experience and substance into the ground. “That will be fine.” Charles watched the young man walk away. Youth and strength felt foreign. All that leaked out of him before the divorce. One day he was muscular, young with a full head of hair. It felt like a blink and then youth had vanished. All of it whisked away in the middle of the night leaving him degenerated. His hair fell out slowly, just a few extra strands in the sink. The tight stomach went away to a cushioned blob that didn’t completely hang over his belt, but was coming close to the fall. The waiter reappeared with the wine and poured a small amount in a glass for his approval. He nodded and watched the glass fill, then the waiter placed the bottle on the table. Charles kept an eye on him as he checked on two tables nearby filled with couples talking closely and occasionally touching hands. “To sweet youth.” He drained the glass and refilled it. “What I wouldn’t give to be young again.” He couldn’t remember being happy after the divorce. His wife aged sweetly, grown dignified. At thirty, she still got carded when buying alcohol. He didn’t. He’d always looked older than his real age. He saw his wife at forty, and secretly hoped age would marched across her face, leaving her ugly and useless. It didn’t. She was as beautiful as ever. There were even twentyyear-old, wet behind the ear punks, whistling at her. The last news he’d heard over her social status said she moved a man in, some fancy business executive. There were even rumors of an 99

RESTLESS SHADOWS engagement. She was getting on with her life and he still wasted his. He slept with lots of women. Many at the end of their marriage, but it didn’t make the divorce any easier. Somehow he believed he could drop his pants a few times and never lose her. That turned into one of the hardest lessons of his life. The very thing he believed would make him a man, forced him to see that he was a child, foolish and stupid for ever risking his comfortable life. He’d been trying to start over ever since. Even now he catches himself thinking about her. They’d met in college. She’d been every man’s dream. There was a time when they laughed, took long walks, and talked for hours at a time. That was over now. She wouldn’t speak to him except through a lawyer. His hope was to trade the memory in on a younger better version of his sweet Lindsey. He wanted Anna. He took another long drink. The image of his Anna with that man lying on top of her, touching her, being where he was supposed to be, came back to him. That college boy was keeping him from happiness. He couldn’t let that continue. “What would you like to eat?” The waiter returned, holding pad in hand ready to write down his order. The waiter startled him. Charles didn’t want the young handsome man anywhere near him. Seeing virile youth made him feel sick. A nausea rose up and he fought off the impulse to follow in Tod’s steps and run out into the street hurling. “Just a bill. I suddenly don’t feel like eating.” Charles put his hand over his mouth. “That is too bad, sir. We have wonderful fried artichokes.” “No thank you.” He realized exactly how old he felt. Even his hands were starting to take on the worn appearance age lends a once strong body. Half of his life was gone and the youth were coming up to take his place. His only solace was in the fact that age would rot them away and more youth would come to make them feel as he did. Charles paid the bill and started walking back down the street. A gentle breeze ruffled his shirt and brought a chill into the 100

RESTLESS SHADOWS fading heat. He walked back to the hotel with his hands in his pockets and face turned away from the lighted statues. He wanted nothing to do with light or beauty. “Lindsey, you would’ve loved Rome.” He came to the street where the hotel stood. Its warm lighted windows greeted him. On the stoop stood two figures hidden in the darkness. They were close, in some lover’s embrace that couldn’t wait for home. His stride stopped in the middle of the sidewalk while he saw who hid there in the shadows. He should’ve known. Finding Nick and Anna together, ended his day perfectly. He caught them in an intimate touch. Lips locked in the preliminaries of their night together. Appalled, he turned to follow another street. Halfway down he came to a bench. Actually he nearly fell over it because his attentions were on his feet, watching them trod disgustingly on the sidewalk. He stumbled then decided to wait out the couple here. He couldn’t stand going up to his room and hearing them. “Damn you, Nick.” He sat down keeping his body bent forward while continuing to study his feet with elbows firmly planted on his knees and head hung low. A street lamp overhead cascaded the light evenly, but the brightness never reached the bench. The light stayed locked in a gentle bleakness that Charles never noticed. Even if he did, it appeared natural, like the night simply kept the weak light from traveling to the ground. Charles let out a low huff which seemed to hold the essence of his plans falling apart. They hadn’t worked out, or exploded in his face. They’d simply fizzled like a sigh into wind and all the ruin came because of Nick. “Damn that Nick.” His mumble was barely audible, but inside he started screaming. That’s all he could do. Anger, rage was simmering over his stolen love. Wild thoughts ran through his brain and even the most sinister seemed okay, acceptable under the 101

RESTLESS SHADOWS circumstances. He’d gone past the point of understanding, beyond logic. The smile crept back onto his face. Was it really perverse to kill a problem, to eradicate the source of pain? Charles didn’t believe so, couldn’t under the circumstances. Compassion deserted him. He wasn’t sure if the wine added to his anarchistic thoughts and he didn’t really care. They were sweet, alive, young, and a relief from the boring professor’s job that led him to an empty home and kept him a safe distance from happiness. He found happiness in animalistic thinking, freedom when the conscience was turned off for depravity. What was the harm in fucking, wanting, or killing? His mind couldn’t comprehend earlier values or laws. Nick was surviving, fucking and causing him pain. Nick was the one infringing on his territory. There needed to be a penalty for willingly causing someone else that kind of suffering. They were standing by the entrance waiting for him to come back, wanting to be seen in each other’s arms just like in the hotel room when he’d knocked on the door and they hadn’t bothered getting dressed. Nick wanted him to see Anna’s bare tits pressed against the sheet, giving just enough vulgar details to explain why they’d been in bed for so long. I couldn’t really kill him. That would be wrong. His smile widened, stretching across his face. It felt obscene, like a man tying up a hooker for a nightly romp and watching her trying to free herself. It would be so very wrong. He licked his lips. They were salty but he didn’t pay the sweat that started running down his face or the erection in his pants any attention. He focused on the sweet feelings that rose inside him, grew from some secret part of his brain. Charles got up and started back to the hotel. He had business to do. That boy made his decision and who was he to back down. He hadn’t started this derelict's game, but he would finish it. **** 102

RESTLESS SHADOWS Nick held Anna on the porch and kissed her lips softly. She’d forgotten all about the troubles from earlier. Everything melted away with his touch and in the fires of desire that sprang up unexpectedly. They enjoyed a romantic dinner at a small restaurant nearby. The meal was full of conversation, laughter, and a good bit of wine. Afterward, a night stroll was in order with sights of spectacular fountains and squares that were growing quiet from the late hour. Then they’d arrived back at the hotel. “Nick,” she spoke softly from the stoop in between passionate kisses. “Let’s go inside. I don’t want to be seen.” “Lead the way.” Anna slipped inside the door while Nick held it open for her. His hand brushed her ass as he followed her into the sitting room with its overstuffed chairs in quiet colors of beige and blue, then down the hall. A few feet further were the bedrooms and the soft carpeted runners covering most of the hard wood floors. A few small tables marked the beginning and end of the hallway. Flowers adorning their tops set in wonderful crystal vases on small white lace doilies. They went into their room, checking the hall only briefly for the professor before going inside. Anna crossed over to the bed and laid down propping herself up on her elbows and waiting. Nick quickly locked the door and joined her. “Do you think anyone saw?” she asked. “Shh,” he whispered hotly into her ear. “No more worries. Let me take all the worries away.” His lips grazed her neck softly, nearly tickling. Her head leaned back exposing the length of her neck. His hand ran under her, unfastening her bra and pushing it up over her head with her shirt. He looked at her pale body and ran his hands over her, pausing long enough to slide her jeans down. His clothes he quickly pulled off and tossed on the floor. “I want to learn every inch of you,” he whispered. He lay down on top of her, making her heart race at the sensation of bare flesh. His mouth moved over hers, possessing 103

RESTLESS SHADOWS her as he had their first night together. Slowly he kissed his way down to her breasts taking one then the other into his mouth while his hand played below. His fingers were talented. Her body tingled, every nerve ending pulsed from his touch. When her mouth opened, letting out a low moan of pleasure, he placed himself ready and she guided his way. Her back arched up while she bit her lip trying to hold back her cries. His body started a hard rhythm while she gripped the bed sheet. Suddenly there was a hard knocking on the door. The sound grew to a pounding that shook the walls, jiggling the tiny bolt in the knob. Anna bolted upright and Nick fell to the side. Terror flew through her. Being caught or embarrassed wasn’t part of it. In the sound came the rapid fire of rage, fierce and hateful carried in a fist beating against the heavy wooden door that creaked the bolt against the thin door jams. The small lock would’ve been adequate against a common mild intrusion, but this was more. It sounded like the wall itself was ready to come down. “What?” shouted Nick. His voice sounded angry, but Anna saw a hint of fear hiding in the sea of green in his eyes. The door swung open with tiny splinters of boards flying out. Anna grabbed a blanket and worked it around her naked body. She didn’t want that man seeing her, that horrible man who undressed her with his eyes for a semester and tried to see down her blouses. He studied her now in a mix of lust and hate. His eyes held rage before. There was more surfacing through the slits of anger. Madness so pure, so awful that Anna feared he would bring up a gun, like a man ready to take vengeance and end their lives in one single moment through a blurry of gunfire and blood. He stepped forward, coming into the room. His body visibly shook with control ready to break. Then he spoke in a voice low, nearly a growl. “What in the hell do you to think you is doing? This isn’t acceptable.” A hand came up, clenched in a fist that longed for a target. There would be no reasoning with him. He was beyond rationalism. 104

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Get out of our room.” Nick stood up, naked and unashamed. The fear in his eyes had gone making Anna wonder if she’d seen any trace of it at all. Something entered to replaced it, a protective side she’d been unaware of. “Get the hell out!” “I will not. I planned this. I’m the one that took all the risks in selecting a fucked up graduate like you for this trip and you repay me by screwing around. Do you know about this guy Anna? Do you? Did he tell you that his sister was kidnapped in front of him and murdered? Did he mention the sessions with a shrink? Do you have any idea of who you’re in bed with, my dear Miss Easy?” His veins stood out in grotesque brilliance on his neck and face. Eyes, glassy and strange watched her as he shouted out unknown facts about her lover. “He’s a fruitcake. A certified fruitcake.” Nick stood there a moment more. The accusations were sinking in and Anna saw a calm strength ready for what came next. Charles stepped forward hands extended toward her. She flinched, not sure if he was going to attack her or just reach to touch her with those sweaty unyielding hands. He came closer, then Nick reacted. “Stay away from her!” Charles kept going forward, nearly at the bed when Nick grabbed him. There was a struggle, but Nick was able to turn Charles and push him onto the floor. He didn’t stop, didn’t even slow as the professor’s body went down. Instead Nick attacked slamming two good solid punches into Charles’ head that started an instant swelling red mark against his jaw. Anna sat there frozen. Everything happened so fast that doors just started opening in the hall. Tod was the first to stumble into the room, the proprietor was next, followed by a portly fellow that looked as if he’d rolled his way down to check on the commotion. The lady who ran the hotel wore a white cotton nightgown and fussed frantically in Italian. She went to Nick swinging her arms wildly in exaggerated motions and pointing to Charles who lay dazed on the floor. During one of these motions she realized Nick was naked and turned a tomato red while 105

RESTLESS SHADOWS covering her eyes. She fussed a moment more and left with the fat man following who just offered a sad shake of the head. “What happened?” asked a confused looking Tod. “And where in the hell are your pants?” “I don’t know,” replied Nick. He reached over to the side of the bed and grabbed his jeans. He held them in front of him for a moment before attempting to put them on. “The professor just busted in the room and started yelling. I don’t know what caused it.” Anna sat there, pale as a ghost. “Is he okay?” Tod leaned over to check him. He pressed his fingers against Charles’ throat and leaned an ear close to his mouth. Charles stirred slightly under Tod’s hand, to everyone’s relief. Tod sat on the floor next to him and a slow peculiar smile grew across his young face. “My dear, the good professor is schnockered, smells like he spent most the night in a wine barrel.” “Figures.” She leaned back on the bed a little relieved that he wasn’t dead. Nick laughed, a long good laugh that forced Anna to join in. Eventually, Tod who still looked a little sick managed a giggle. Red marks appeared under both eyes from his tears but no one noticed. They were too concerned with feeling right again, letting the shock dissipate into the night. Once the laughter subsided, Anna realized the awkward position she was in. “Guys, could you two do something with him? I don’t think it would be a good idea for him to wake up here. Besides, I’d like to get dressed.” “Don’t worry about it,” said Nick. “Tod would you help me move him.” “Sure. I can’t wait to get back and tell everybody how I had to help our inebriated professor.” A strange look grew on his face. Anna couldn’t tell why, but something terrifying just occurred to him. “Don’t worry, Tod. I don’t think he’ll hold anything over your head. 106

RESTLESS SHADOWS “You’re right.” Tod tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it. “I know you’re right. He was out when I got here.” Tod moved to the professor’s left while Nick took the right. Together they got Charles to his feet, and maneuvered him to the door. He let out one grumble during the process then fell silent again. The operation grew slow and awkward, but soon they were out in the hall giving Anna a little privacy. She jumped up, grabbing her t-shirt from the floor and slid it on. A few minutes later Nick reappeared. He shut the door back and placed a chair from the corner against it. The small chair didn’t offer much resistance but it made them both feel better under the circumstances. “He’s sleeping like a baby.” Nick sat on the bed next to her. “I don’t know what got into him. He must really be after you.” “Alcohol alone doesn’t make somebody act like that.” She wanted to warn him, but couldn’t find the words to explain her feelings or to make him understand. “Are you sure he’s asleep?” “I think so. A few noises came out of him. I’m not sure if the wine or I set him on his ass, but he’s there now. You still shaken up?” “Yes. Can you blame me? A man busts into our room and you’re laughing about it. I don’t think this is a joke.” “I’m sorry. Just calm down. I’m here.” He put an arm around her. She relaxed a little under it, but she was not at ease with the man in charge going ballistic whether alcohol was to blame or not. “Thanks for taking care of it.” She wasn’t good at gratitude especially when she had a terrible feeling that the graphic displays were far from over. “Anything for you.” “Anything?” she repeated it questioningly. There was so much she wanted to ask him, so many things she wanted to tell, but the words failed her at every attempt. What would he think if he knew about the marks on her wrists or the cold kiss from 107

RESTLESS SHADOWS yesterday? Then there were his secrets. Apparently there were many things she didn’t know about him. “What can I do?” His eyes looked at her with their soft, gentle glow. “Tell me what the professor was talking about. He mentioned your sister.” She paused searching for a nice way of asking. An easy way to break down the wall he held up through smart-ass comments and sex. “I’d like to know everything about you.” She looked at him hopeful, praying that the lines of communication would be open and she’d be free to spill her secrets. Free to trust someone. “What do you mean?” His voice spoke a question but his eyes were fixed, defensive. She wondered if policeman busted the suspects that way. A simple question, no accusations, then the eyes would give it away with their inept ability to carry on a lie the mouth started. She shuddered at the way a man she’d just let into her body suddenly felt the need to keep her as emotionally distant as possible, but she couldn’t blame him. She’d done the same thing by cruelly wanting him to break before she was ready to open up. “Your sister.” She pushed on. Somehow she knew that she wouldn’t get an answer, but in her desperate attempt to be close to someone, to be real with someone, she needed to try. She couldn’t explain the need, couldn’t understand it. Everything in her sent out warnings that he might die in Paris, that they could all die there and there’s no point in getting any closer. The only thing that made sense was the link she felt with him, the bond she couldn’t get away from, forcing her to move closer. “I don’t want to talk about the exclamations of a drunk. I’m tired and this has been a long night.” She didn’t say anything else to him after that. His tone had been too final, too finished with something that obviously cut him deeply. Reading his eyes was no longer possible. He shut them in final retaliation to her prying. They stayed on the bed together with her snuggled against him. Sex was the furthest thing from their minds. He was content 108

RESTLESS SHADOWS to hold her while she kept thoughts of the terror to come circling through her shattering the hope of finding comfort in his arms. An hour passed with them lying close. Nick fell asleep, but Anna couldn’t manage keeping her eyes shut for more than a few moments before they’d pop open, checking the room for intruders, mortal and not. Eventually the game grew irksome and she decided to get an early start on the day. Slowly, she rose from the bed trying not to wake Nick. The mattress didn’t move much making her thankful for its hardness. The room was dark, menacing. Her thoughts returned to childhood. There had always been fear of the dark, fear of what lurked in the shadows long before she’d met Shades. Perhaps all children sense what’s not quite right, what might be hiding inches from them in the soft shadow world of distorted shapes and images. The sweet dolly could become a hideous medusa given a badly directed light. The fear was for more than what could be seen. It is what wasn’t noticed in the night. Any child knows the scariest monsters are the ones who hide just out of sight. Suddenly she wanted to run back to bed and slide beneath the covers where she felt safe. Nick was there, strong and protective. It would be easier to lie there and wait for daylight to come with her safely tucked into his arms. Then again she was tired of playing the damsel in distress, a role she wasn’t good at. With a questioned confidence, she slid out the door wearing a long t-shirt. She didn’t realize this until she was in the hall. At the late hour, she decided that no one would see her and she kept going down the carpeted runner to the bathroom at the end of the hall. The door was heavy wood, oak she thought but wasn’t sure. She reached inside and flipped the switch that hung next to the towel rack. Bright bulbs, hidden behind a fancy glass shade that hooked into the wall, shone overhead. It lit up the blue tile floor that sparkled like pale water. The walls were done in white with blue baseboards and trim. An oval mirror hung above the sink in a gold looking frame. On the wall opposite the door hung 109

RESTLESS SHADOWS a painting that was done in similar tints of blue. In it a naked woman sat inside a blue pond with flowers surrounding the water. All of these things were quite lovely, making the thought of sharing a bathroom not so terrible. The lady that ran the place scrubbed the bathroom that morning, and from the gleam she did this routine every day. There was one feature of the bathroom that she especially loved. The bathtub was one of those old time claw foot tubs. A shower fixture was installed high above it for ease. Yesterday, she took a shower because of the rush they were in, but now she could relax. She reached under the sink and took a white towel from the stack in the cabinet, next to them sat a dish of sweet smelling soaps. Anna started the water running and plugged the tub. She pulled out her brush. Her eyes stayed on her reflection as she ran it through her hair. She’d almost forgotten about the counterpart in her mirror that she’d seen move almost two weeks ago. Everything odd, scary seemed to disappear from this bright lighted room. The water reached three-fourths from the top. Anna rushed over and shut off the tap before the tub overflowed. She slid off her shirt and stepped into the warm bath. She eased down dunking herself completely in the water and pushing the line of it to the edge of the tub. She pushed her head up and began to lather the soap. The scent of lavender filled the room. She rubbed the soap over her body enjoying the feeling of her skin. The soft feeling of the soap and its sweet smells covering her. In that moment she realized the true point of becoming a woman. It wasn’t the loss of virginity, drinking, or giving birth. Any child could do those things. She felt the true turning point to womanhood was being able to appreciate herself. In this world of lather and water she could enjoy herself, her body and feel at ease with the world around her. Here she felt free and happy in the quiet union of water and her hands running over flesh, her flesh and not just a body to please a man or to fit into fashion, but a body that pleased 110

RESTLESS SHADOWS herself. In this world, insecurities vanished and even the secrets scrawled across her wrists were okay. She refused to end up one of those women who identified themselves by their husbands or by a career. She knew that true happiness would lie within and no shaman or preacher needed to tell her otherwise. In the quiet world of water and lather, that was clear. “I am a part of earth and sea. Bring my power back to me.” She laughed at her voice echoing in the tiled room. The saying, she couldn’t quite place. She thought that perhaps her grandmother told it to her, but couldn’t be sure because she died when Anna was just a child. The only memory she retained of her was an odd old woman tending her herb garden in warm summer afternoons. Suddenly she didn’t feel right, maybe the foamy water or silence outside. She didn’t care. The feeling of depravity and danger came close enough to start her moving. Quickly, she let the water out of the tub and turned on the shower to rinse away the last of the soap. Without drying, she wrapped a towel around herself. Her hand reached out to touch the door when she heard a strange sound from the hallway. A series of thuds, not quite like footsteps, something heavier, something meaner. She wasn’t sure if she should stay inside the bright room or open the door and get back to the safety Nick provided. Her hand froze an inch from the knob, shaking with fingers splayed out. There she stayed, trying to catch her breath that raced nearer to panic. As she listened, the sound grew louder, coming toward the door with irregular muffled thuds. The noise mixed with the sound of her heartbeat, throbbing in her ears. She realized that if she didn’t leave the bathroom she would be trapped with no way out and no one to help. Her hand moved toward the knob for the second time. Again she didn’t touch it. Fear isn’t what stopped her this time, the knob started to turn. Before her eyes the small brass knob with the tiny design in it rotated. She’d waited too 111

RESTLESS SHADOWS long, too late to run. Then came the sound of the metal catch releasing and the door started to move.

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Chapter Sixteen Charles’ vision was blurry when Nick and Tod took him down the hall to his room. He’d seen twisted images of darkness and light all mixed with the floor and ceiling. He saw Nick on one side of him and desperately wanted to hit him, to tear his eyeballs out, but his body wouldn’t respond. His arms felt like lead sagging next to him. His jaw throbbed and head ached from the confrontation, but there was nothing he could do. His limbs wouldn’t operate. He couldn’t even stand and felt more like gelatin. Then he’d blacked out with the imprint of Nick’s face left on his mind. He opened his eyes, but only briefly. A sour nausea came from his stomach, working its way up to his throat like a gagging lump of putrid slime. He ran for the window and pushed back the sheers. There was no screen, luckily for him. He heaved out more than just one bottle of wine. It flew from his lips, landing on the street below. There his body sagged. A few more heaves followed, only letting up after dry spasms racked his body. He lay in the window, head dangling down. Cool breezes revived him, only temporarily. He slid down the wall and there he went back to sleep with bits of spittle dripping from his lips. Charles stirred again in his sleep. This time a noise woke him. The sound of Nick’s door closing softly, nothing more than a dull creak, but the darkness shook him making him aware of the change and the possibilities. Without thinking, Charles opened his door. He peered down the hall and saw the bathroom door shut. He dressed in pants, no shoes or shirt, but this didn’t matter. All that concerned him was getting Anna from Nick. To do this he’d need some tools. 113

RESTLESS SHADOWS Quietly he went down the three small steps to the sitting room. The hour was too early for anyone to be up yet. He walked around the table and into the kitchen. He maneuvered easily, seeing the corners and small obstacles that catch others on midnight prowls through their own homes and into painful stubbed toes or banged knees. His feet hit the tiled kitchen, cool and nice, making him stand still for a moment and enjoy the feeling. Bright pots and pans hung in a row over the free standing stove that looked anything but modern with its pile of wood stacked neatly to the side. A smaller unit, like a hot plate was on the tiled counter that wrapped around the length of the room. The floor tile matched a trim for the counters in a sea of beige and green. More tiles, looking equally cool ran up the walls to the ceiling. There were two windows to the kitchen with stone seals and glass that opened in the center with wooden frames. It proved a mild distraction, but he felt captivated by the sensation, like a child that finds a shiny object in a window. As if in prompt to his slowness, something moved in the corner. Charles feared a rat would appear. A big black one that moved in the darkness and wasn’t amused with the disruption his presence caused, something horrible with big red eyes and rabies to boot. A creature left over from the plague that worked its way down here to find him. He stepped back, then stopped, when his perceptions cleared. There was nothing in the corner. Only wind rippled the curtain and that caused a shadow to dance. He felt silly and couldn’t figure out why he came down here. It didn’t make sense anymore. He felt like being in bed not sneaking around in a foreign kitchen. He turned to leave and stopped. The shadows around him flickered again. Then like a whisper the madness, the complete irrational rage came back into his being. He went further into the kitchen and started opening cabinets. There were tools he needed to gather, wonderful tools that lurked down here he could use. In the first cabinet, he found only food. The second held glasses and the third the china. He kneeled down and opened the 114

RESTLESS SHADOWS cabinet under the sink. There he found a wonderful variety of tools. Cleaning products, insecticides, and a small jar of chemical fertilizer sat in a neat little row under the pipes. He pulled out each one and tried reading the ingredients. In the very back, to his delight, he found a box of rat poison. He clapped his hands together with a renewed childlike enthusiasm. He went back to the cabinet searching for something to hold his surprise. In the last cabinets over the refrigerator he found medicine. There were many small plastic jars and although he couldn’t read the label, he assumed they were aspirins and other quick fix its for sick guests. A tenant would have a complaint and like any good grandmother, she’d come down with her bottles and remedies. The landlady looked very much like his grandmother, except for the olive skin. She was heavy, but still shaped beneath the dress and apron. Her hair plastered behind her in streaks of black and white. He cleared his mind and focused on the task. A small white plastic bottle looked like the best bet. He grabbed it from the cabinet and opened the screw on lid. Small round white pills filled it halfway. He dumped the pills into the sink and refilled the bottle with a more menacing concoction. After filling the bottle, he stuffed it into his pocket. He started to leave, then a strange idea came to him. Poisoning was a fine, but it lacked a personal touch. The pretty blue-green eyes that Anna stared into lovingly, watched with deep intent as she climaxed in his arms, would look so much nicer stuffed into Nick’s mouth or perhaps up his ass. Keeping this in mind, he grabbed a steak knife from the drawer with bright steel and small serrated edges to keep it from having to be sharpened. The handle was a bit small. He’d preferred to use the butcher’s knife that lay in the drawer separated by little wooden sections built just the right size for each knife. He loved the simple order in that. Each thing in place, each place built for each thing. He decided on the steak knife and 115

RESTLESS SHADOWS closed the drawer. The smaller knife would be easier to conceal and do a nicer job of popping out those beautiful eyes of Nick’s. Carefully, he started back up the stairs. In the hall, he stood at Nick’s room with knife in hand. His fingers touched the knob. He could see opening the door on his sleeping victim and carving him up right there. If he was quick, he could do it and put the knife in the room of the boy or perhaps the fat stranger that he’d gotten a glimpse of after the fight. He was an impressive professor and no one would doubt his innocence. Then he could console Anna. Sweet tears were often the prelude to passion. That’s when he heard a sound in the bathroom, Anna’s voice. He wanted her, so badly that his hand immediately let go of the knob. He walked to the bathroom door seeing a glimmer of light in the darkness from the space at the floor. He only saw the door, which caused him to stumble in the hall and knock over one of the two tables and landing a vase onto the carpet. His clumsiness angered him and, without realizing, he stomped his way down the rest of the hall. Anger reset in his mind. The clumsiness forgotten and his sole intent on Anna, the woman that dared to be with another, the woman that teased him then turned him away. He approached the door, knife in hand. “She’ll have me or she won’t have another,” he whispered. Then his thoughts shot to how he’d find her. She might be naked, bathing. Maybe she waited for him. Maybe she hoped to tease him again before running back to Nick for the night. The sound of her voice might’ve been for him. The words he couldn’t make out, the single phrase that carried from the closed door and stopped his assault. Perhaps she knew he was there or she could be fantasizing, masturbating while thinking of him. It was definitely Charles that she called for and he didn’t want to keep her waiting. He grabbed the doorknob and turned it. It opened a crack, then slammed shut. He pushed it again, harder this time. It moved then recoiled back against the frame with a loud popping sound. “I’m in here,” she called. 116

RESTLESS SHADOWS He heard the fear in her voice. This excited him and he felt his prick stiffen against his pants. He wanted her and was more than ready for his little schoolgirl. He’d teach her a thing or two. He’d carve his name across her breasts and see how her boyfriend liked that. Nick would have to see the word CHARLES whenever he went to suck those things. “Little pig, little pig, let me in. I have something to give you.” He held the knife up with white fingers gripping the handle. “Go away.” There was more fear in her. It swelled in her voice. “No games, no teasing, let me in. You can’t run to Nick. You have to talk to me on your own.” He shoved against the door and again it only moved a few inches before coming back. There was no lock on the door, no bolt or separate latch. He remembered that clearly from his morning visit when he’d heard footsteps in the hall and hoped someone wouldn’t burst in on him with his pants down. He hated the feeling of no privacy, of Anna seeing him taking a dump. Now, he was glad for the lack of locks. There was less for him to push through. Only one set of little girl’s arms kept him out and a little girl wasn’t any match for him. “Don’t make me hurt you, or is that how you like it?” He considered his fantasy and hoped she did like it. “Step back,” she cried. “I’ll come out.” He took a step back. A vulgar smile painted his lips. His teeth parted slightly giving room for his tongue to come out and moisten the dry corners of his mouth. Sweaty palms reached down, and caressed that part of him bulging and ready to play. He watched the door with arms spread wide blocking any hopes she might have of sliding by him and back to her boyfriend. She wouldn’t get away this time. “I don’t have all day, miss.” Slowly the door eased its way open. Anna peered out through the crack. Her hair was wet, dripping long dark streaks down her t-shirt. Her nipples were visible in pointed outlines beneath the thin cotton. She was covered but not enough to keep him from 117

RESTLESS SHADOWS realizing that a t-shirt was all that separated him from her body. Oh how he wished she were wearing white. That would’ve been nicer than green. White might’ve given him a glimpse at the color of those nipples or perhaps of her gift box. White did seem appropriate like a twisted version of a virgin bride that he would take for the first time. It would’ve been nicer if she’d let him peak, if she’d worn white for him but he’d take that matter up with her later. She’d have to sweat over that one. Not as much as he’d make her sweat for Nick, but that would be a corporal matter. “I didn’t realize you were in such a hurry to use the bathroom.” She paused and he noticed her fake tough voice fading the longer she stood and stared at him. “If you’ll back up enough for me to get by...” “I don’t think so.” He shoved her back into the bathroom. Her body landed against the wall, nearly at the floor. She opened her mouth and he expected a scream, something loud and terrible that would send everyone tumbling out of their beds and running down the hall to her rescue. A sound like that would stop him. A handful of people would be witness to his crimes, and he’d have to go another round with Nick. At the end of it all, that boy and this cunt would have him arrested. News would spread. It always does. The college would hear and so would that bitch Diane. His job and future would be gone, leaving the cute couple in bed laughing at him. He moved quickly to prevent this by putting the knife to her throat as a single note exited her lips and immediately dropped into silence when the cold blade pressed into warm flesh. He pulled her up to her feet, keeping the knife steadily in place. “Can’t have any of that, my dear. You need to be very quiet. These are private matters. We wouldn’t want anyone finding us.” He pressed himself against her, shoving his clothed cock between her thighs. She pushed at him, but he outweighed her by a hundred pounds. Clumsy hands landed against his face and 118

RESTLESS SHADOWS stomach, but he didn’t move. His face came closer to hers. She turned away and Charles thought he heard her pray. Soft words mumbled by the sensual lips with a small sob added at the end. Then her eyes opened full of fury and fear. “Please don’t.” He liked her voice pleading and weak. He preferred the dominant position and apparently she preferred him in it. Now if only he could make her beg. That would be heaven, hearing her beg. “Don’t what? Is there something particular you prefer? Tell me, what gets you hot?” The hand holding the knife stayed at her throat with both of her arms trying to push him away. His face nuzzled her cheek like a sweet afterthought while his legs worked to separate hers. He reached down trying to force his fingers through her defenses. He felt her hand grab for his trying to push the knife away. “Let me go.” Her voice rose higher this time, near shrieking, nearly audible in the silent hall. “Please!” “I told you to be quiet.” He pressed the knife harder and a small trickle of blood started from the tiny cut it made. “I suggest you play nice and quit resisting. I’d hate to take you cold. Cold wouldn’t be any fun.” She stopped and let her arms swing back to the wall. Her eyes shut with small streams of tears falling down her cheeks. He kissed them, then put his mouth to hers. She gagged as he tried to force his tongue past her lips. Her free hand reached over to the sink. She was groping blindly for a weapon. There was nothing there but a hairbrush, soap, a toothbrush, and a tiny pair of scissors men used to trim nose hairs. “I think you’ll like me,” he whispered softly into her ear. She’d stopped fighting. She wanted him. He was positive of that now. There were no more strikes to his body or grabs for the knife. This was the game she desired to play. She wanted, needed to be forced, to be hurt. He was more than willing to comply. He’d give her everything she wanted. He started unzipping his pants. “Mine’s better than a college prick.” 119

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Chapter Seventeen Anna sat on a vinyl bed with paper lining waiting for the doctor to come back. She knew she was fine, but the insistence of the police forced her to come here and withstand another long set of questions to which she could barely answer. They’d given her a pill to relax her. She wasn’t sure what, but Valium occurred to her and she’d happily taken it. Her arms felt heavy, but that was all. No high followed or blissful buzz. There were four stitches in her neck covered by a tiny patch. A small cut on her arm received a little antibiotic ointment along with a scratch going down her chest stopping at her breast. She still couldn’t believe what happened, or understand what pushed the professor over the edge. This was beyond anything she’d seen. If she hadn’t stopped him then...she didn’t want to think about it. After a few days she might manage the scene better. “Feeling better?” asked the doctor in his heavy accent. Anna loved the sound even if it made the words difficult to understand. “Yes. When can I leave?” “Not yet. Police want to ask more questions after they finish with Mr. Archel.” He checked the bandage on her neck. “I think you will be fine though.” Anna groaned. She was tired of questions and suddenly felt like taking a nap. None of this mess mattered to her anymore. She didn’t want to be here and didn’t want to hear that man’s name again. She looked down at her hands absentmindedly. There was still a small amount of blood under her fingernails, not much, just a subtle trace that marked her. She thought most things in life were like that. Everything left a subtle trace. Huge events were 120

RESTLESS SHADOWS diminished to mild marks, little trials, like her wrists. The doctor noticed them but said nothing about the scars. He’d looked at her with a concern then turned away as if it were too dirty to discuss. In a few more years those scars might be gone. Every year seemed to shrink them smaller and smaller. Eventually the make-up and bracelets wouldn’t be necessary and maybe she could forget about the incident, but forgetting depended on Shades. The blood under her nails would be easy to wash away. There were witnesses though and a living Charles that would claim any number of outrageous alibis to be off the hook. He might say he was sleep walking or thought she was someone else. One thing was certain, he wouldn’t accept blame. A policeman knocked on the door and came in after a word from the doctor. The two of them spoke in Italian for a moment without the slightest consideration for the American in the room. She preferred for them to talk here, knowing that she couldn’t understand instead of them leaving the room. With them talking in front of her, she could watch their facial expressions and get some clue as to what was happening. Apparently, there was a great deal happening. The doctor’s eyes were wide with his arms crossed in front of him. He looked irritated and completely different from the kind gentleman than had put in her stitches. The policemen held a scowl in lowered thick eyebrows and tight eyes that kept a fixed position on the doctor’s face. After another moment, the doctor threw up his hands and walked out. “Miss,” the policeman began. “Could you tell me once more what happened?” “No,” she replied. She really didn’t think that she could. Her eyes were tired and logical connections began to drift away. “Please try.” The policeman sat on the small stool with wheels. “It’s very important.” “I was taking a bath.” As she spoke, her mind drifted back to the bathroom. Warm water, soap, then the terrible feeling came. “I heard something in the hall.” A noise of something 121

RESTLESS SHADOWS terrible, not human at all had tracked her. “I went to the door and he opened it. I tried to slam it back.” It opened an inch then went back against the wall. She held the door until her arms ached. “I couldn’t keep him out and then he threatened me. Said that he’d hurt me.” She remembered her heart pounding. “I opened the door. He pushed me and put a knife to my throat. Told me to be quiet, then he kissed me.” “Is that when you stabbed him?” She could feel the porcelain sink and reaching over to find a weapon. Small scissors were all that she could find. “No. He reached up and ripped open my shirt. Then I grabbed the scissors.” She’d done it instinctively, not aiming but finding his throat. Her fingers dove into the skin that cut, then tore from the scissors. “Ma’am he is swearing that rape wasn’t on his mind. He’s claiming he wanted a kiss and got out of hand because he was intoxicated.” “You’re not letting him go?” “No. There’s enough evidence to hold him, but he asked to speak with you about it. I think it would be a good idea. Both of you are US citizens.” He said citizens as if it was an insult to be a foreigner. Anna shook her head from side to side. Things were too complicated and her brain wasn’t clearing enough to reason any of it out. She didn’t want to face him, but that really wasn’t her choice any longer. Was it? “Can Nick come with me?” The policeman looked at her strangely, then nodded yes as if it took a moment for him to translate her words. “That will be fine. I will send Nick Edwards in.” She sat there and felt her eyes closing. They were heavy, tired. Her head leaned down only to shoot up when the door opened again and Nick appeared. He was wearing the same clothes from yesterday, probably fished from the floor in a hurry. His hair wasn’t brushed and parts of the light brown stuck up around his head in little horns. 122

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Are you okay?” he asked. It took her a moment to reply. She wasn’t sure how she should answer him. She wasn’t hurt, but all right didn’t describe it either. “We have to speak to Charles. The police really don’t want to handle this.” Her words sounded strange to her ears. “Do you want to speak to Charles? You don’t have to.” “No but...Yes I do.” She stood up but her knees wouldn’t hold. Nick ran to her side to help before she stumbled to the floor. The catch was just in time. “Are you sure you should be out of bed?” “Yes I do,” she repeated although the answer didn’t quite fit. “To the bastard’s room. Let’s see how badly I carved him up.” They went down the hall. Nick supported most of Anna’s weight as they walked. He didn’t appear to mind, only held her closely as they took the elevator to the next floor. Bright lights and white tile continued on the next hall holding a sad generic quality. Finally they stopped in front of a door with the numbers two-thirteen. Nick knocked while Anna leaned against him. She was a little frightened. Not as much as she expected, considering what happened. There was the pill to thank for that. Her worries were dulled along with her senses. A strange grunt told them to come in. Nick opened the door and led Anna inside. Lying on a bed was Charles. An IV was dripping a clear fluid into his veins. A thick white bandage was across his throat coming up an inch below his chin. He looked old in the bed with feeble hands folded across his chest. His baldhead gleamed wet and large bags hung under his eyes. Wrinkles became visible around his mouth and eyes. At least ten years seemed to have been added to him since last night. “Anna.” A horrible quiet whisper came from the bed. The voice sounded garbled and husky, and clearly showed pain in the difficulty speaking. “I’m sorry.” “How bad are you hurt?” Anna smiled. She couldn’t help it. There was something satisfying in seeing him lying in bed 123

RESTLESS SHADOWS bandaged and whispering. All the fear in seeing him vanished. She’d protected herself. Her hands stopped this man’s attack and nearly killed him. There had been no need of a hero, just a pair of scissors some fat old man used to cut away hairs from up his nose. “You busted...” he had to stop. She watched him take a difficult breath. “You busted in.” He stopped again. Beads of sweat appeared on his brow. “Wait.” Nick took Anna out to the hall. He went to the nurses' desk and brought back a pad of paper and a pen. He took Anna back into the room and helped her into a chair then handed the paper over to Charles. “This should help.” Anna watched, although a little disgusted that Nick was so eager to make the discussion easier on Charles. She didn’t really like watching him suffer with every word, but it seemed fitting, right for it to be that way, for him to try to make a painful plea for her to drop the charges for a crime that most considered beyond compensation. Charles put the pad on his lap and began scrawling. The words came fast on the paper. She thought this odd and decided that he must’ve been rehearsing the lines since he’d been brought into the room, perhaps before committing the crime. That would be characteristic of him. He was always planning, thinking how to get ahead. She’d noticed it before in class. There was one occasion where a student made a fuss about him to the administration. Anna never heard the details of the event, but accusations came from a female. Everything was swept under the rug and the woman quickly expelled, thanks to Mr. Charles Archel who was praised for turning in a suspected drug dealer. Wonders of wonders happened and marijuana was found in her dorm room. Charles handed the paper to Nick. Anna sat watching from the chair. She knew, as well as he did that she couldn’t possibly read the paper. The pill had been a good one and she’d become more than relaxed. Every muscle in her body felt like rubber not 124

RESTLESS SHADOWS to mention that her vision was too blurry. That left the ragged details in Nick’s hands. “Anna?” He asked. She nodded for him to read it. Her voice felt tired and hoarse. She didn’t want either of them to hear it. The last image Charles held of her was a fighter, not this weak rubberized woman that could barely think of what to say. The image of a fighter was what she wanted to leave him with, needed him to ponder. He’d set his goals on a weak child. The fragile girl he’d seen hide in the back of the classroom avoiding all attention. She’d proved his assumptions wrong. There was no reason to go back on it now. “I’m sorry for what happened.” Nick began to read the note with hands gripped tight on its edges, knuckles white. There was a quiver in his voice, but Anna wasn’t sure if anger or fear resided there. “I was drunk and didn’t realize what I was doing. The last thing I remember was trying to get a kiss. Then you stabbed me, breaking the cartilage in my neck and collapsing my esophagus. The doctors say that I need to stay in the hospital for a couple of days. I think the punishment more than fits the crime. It would be foolish to press charges and cancel the trip.” Nick stopped on the last part and looked at Anna. Neither of them considered the possibility of the trip being canceled. Anna hadn’t thought beyond sending Charles to jail, a foreign jail where he’d be forgotten. Things now changed. “Once again, I am sorry.” Nick continued reading the letter. His voice was calmer, weakened by the threat of a trip home too soon. “If we can forget this, then everyone can continue on to France. The plane leaves tonight. I’ll come a few days late and our trip can resume without anything more than a delay. I’ll give Tod all the information on the guide. He’ll get you set up, but this can only continue if the charges are dropped. I am expected there. To disappoint them would mean an end to any expeditions. Please forgive me.” Thinking became a long trickle of endless reasoning. She couldn’t focus on any one single idea. She understood that an 125

RESTLESS SHADOWS alteration in plans would corrupt everything. To create a change no matter how small would mean a world of difference and ripple effects down an endless line. This trip was supposed to happen. “I don’t know,” she said, hearing her voice sounding distant. “The whispers that truly touch the soul are the hardest to hear.” She was unaware that she’d spoken aloud as her thoughts continued to drift. Those whispers were the hardest to hear yet they affected the mind and heart to the degree of decisions that make no sense to outside parties. Pain, fear, even extreme terror could be washed away for a greater goal, a feeling so encompassing that nothing else could deter it. For Anna it was hope. Hope, faith are amazing things accomplishing the impossible, crossing deserts, climbing mountains, and basic survival. Hope pushed her now. “Honey?” asked Nick. “Should we talk about this later.” He reached an arm around her shoulders. Anna sat there looking blankly at Nick. She couldn’t make sense of this. Her mind was heavy with sleep and her body needed to follow. The only thing that registered was the trip. She had to complete this trip. If she had to finish it with him, then she’d simply have to be more careful. Perhaps this warning was enough and Charles would leave her alone. Next time there would be no surprises, no baths in the middle of the night, and no chances for error. She couldn’t afford another confrontation. “Fine.” Her voice squeaked with emotion as she spoke. “It’s dropped, but next time I will kill you.” She leaned to the edge of the bed and looked into Charles’ eyes. “I mean it. Next time, you’re dead. No hospital in the world will be able to save you.”

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Chapter Eighteen Nick looked out the plane window. They were getting ready to take off, taxing down the runway. Black top with white and yellow lines moved along the ground as the flight started its jerky progression. Bright lights came on along the ground as the speed picked up. In the far lane a carrier was transporting luggage to the airport from a plane that just landed. There was one more jerk as the plane accelerated then lifted skyward. Anna was asleep in the seat next to him. She’d barely been able to walk on the plane despite the long nap she took after they’d left the hospital. Her face was turned toward him. Some of her hair fell out of her ponytail and lay loosely in her face. She was beautiful in that messy natural look. In that beauty, Nick felt shame. He failed to be there when she’d needed him. Even at the hospital, he’d let her down. Before entering the room, Nick intended on punching Charles again. Letting him know exactly who he’d messed with, but when he’d opened the door and saw the professor all bandaged up, he couldn’t. The bandage, or the tubes running life back into his veins, stopped him. Then the professor brought up their trip, forcing Nick to read an ultimatum to his girlfriend. To make it worse, he hoped that she wouldn’t press charges. He almost said something, almost asked her not to charge the professor. Deep inside he knew that it wouldn’t be necessary. She wanted this trip as much if not more than he did. He’d never asked her why. There was more to her than vision or enhanced perception. He couldn’t help wondering what, but asking her seemed absurd. It could force too many other questions about himself and he wasn’t comfortable in giving the answers, not yet. 127

RESTLESS SHADOWS “I’m sorry, my sweet.” He couldn’t help staring at her in her sleep and wondering what her dreams were. Better yet, wondering what changed her perception. She might have told him last night, when she asked about his sister. If he’d only been willing to open up and tell her about Gwen, then so much could change. A chill passed over him. He was the one that left the door open. His logical adult mind knew how ludicrous the thought was. He had just been a child and children forget things like homework, chores, and locking doors. He’d discussed this a thousand times with so called experts in fancy rooms with couches facing away from big windows and a little office chair placed close enough to hear him breathe as the ‘expert’ jotted down lines to explain away a child’s depression and destructive tendencies. To explain why he’d smashed all the things in the basement, to give a reasonable cause for him to break windows. Nick learned the jargon and knew how to answer their questions. It became a game of how fast he could end their sessions. He’d nod and agree telling them how much better he felt, but when all the psychobabble was over he still felt the blame. How could he not? Locking a door is such a simple little thing. It takes one turn of one bolt and there lies the safety of everyone in the house. If he’d only locked that door then his sister would be alive, married, and maybe even with children of her own. There would be no need for him to be on this trip, no use for his fascinations with what sane men considered obscene. He supposed that in some strange way he lost his mind. Occasionally he pondered what his life would be like if none of that had happened so many years ago. He might have been a doctor or lawyer. Anything would be better than digging into human history and pulling out the demons for the scientific world to gaze upon. They studied the sex lives, death rites, and traditions from cultures that had passed away. None of them were above any of the basic human characteristics or behaviors. He 128

RESTLESS SHADOWS wondered how many of them had their personal bizarre sex acts. Little nasty things they did that a thousand years from now would be viewed as animalistic and far beneath the great minds of the time. Our funeral customs would surely seem strange to a higher culture. The act of viewing a dead body and weeping for a person that had hopefully gone on to a better place while people that hardly knew the deceased cried and carried on for a practical stranger. He did enjoy learning about the past, the lives of others. He didn’t like to admit to it. Doing so reminded him too much of those busy body gossips that exist on every street, peeking out of their curtains hoping to pass on information about their neighbors to the rest of the community. Still, there was gold in the past. Little tidbits of information he believed open the door to more true emotion and realism than an entire generation of TV gazing, pop drinking, want to be yuppies could ever hope to experience. His vision came to rest on Anna again. There seemed to be a world of mystery in her. He longed for the key to open it. His gaze continued down her body to her lap where her hands were neatly placed and on to the shiny silver bracelets that she always wore. They were the only piece of jewelry she never forgot. Even after the commotion she’d kept her bracelets on. He hadn’t considered this odd before. They were things that he became used to seeing. They twinkled softly from the mild lights overhead. Then he noticed a small discrepancy in their shine. The backsides of several of the bangles were smudged making the backs nearly the color of sand. He leaned closer, not understanding why these trinkets held his attention. Then he saw it hidden in the pale flesh of her wrists like tiny ghosts jutting across in whiter lines so thin they were difficult but not impossible to see. The bracelets wore remnants of make-up on them. That was the reason he’d never seen the lines before, she’d hidden them, but didn’t have time to put her camouflage in place this time. 129

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Monsieur?” A flight attendant walked up the aisle and stood over him observing his behavior. “I’m fine.” She studied him a minute more then walked away, the navy blue pants she wore swished back up the line. Nick watched her, then realized how strange he must’ve looked leaning into the lap of the girl next to him. He wanted to lean over for another glimpse at Anna’s arm but didn’t dare. The attendant stood at the front of the compartment near the gray curtain watching him. “My dear, what secrets do you hold?” He’d briefly considered the notion that death touched her in some deep way. Her Shades must’ve revealed itself after some great emotional ordeal, but he believed her situation would be similar to his. Perhaps the death of a loved one, or some mistake that caused heartache. He believed that he might’ve gotten over his sister’s death if he hadn’t met the Shades in the basement and assumed that she’d found him in the same way. Came across the dark entity in some deep, dank hole where it waited to finish business. With this new information, he wondered if she’d met Shades after her own near death. He might’ve arrived to take her, his boogey man hoping to steal her away. Only somehow she’d beaten him. For some reason, he’d let her live. As a boy, he didn’t believe anything capable of beating the boogey man. Sometimes he would hear it under the floors or in his closet. The sounds became much worse after he’d ventured down to the basement and met its strange eyes. They were loud thuds as if the creature were walking up the walls to the ceiling trying to get up to him. Occasionally it would call his name or whisper nasty secrets to him in the dark. It would say things like, “Do you know what I gave your mother.” Nick shuddered. He’d forgotten about the sounds, about hearing its voice. His mind blocked that out for years, probably to keep some hold on his sanity. Here in this quietly rumbling airplane, he could hear it again. There was a seduction to its voice, something too soft, too velvety. It lulled in his ears for years, only releasing him when he’d cried out in the middle of the 130

RESTLESS SHADOWS night that he didn’t hear it. Then his parents would run into the room. His mother would come in to check on him, but her being there scared him more than the sounds. He didn’t want to be the cause of his mother being taken away. Some nights he’d hold his tongue for hours and cry against its soft sounds just to keep from calling someone. The thing enjoyed torturing him, probably hoping for a chance to snag the boy who wished to meet it in the basement. He wasn’t sure what made it leave him alone. The breaking windows only aggravated it. He could only guess that he was a game the boogey man grew tired of or it might’ve been because he’d dared to go back downstairs and destroy everything he could find. His parents heard the breaking glass and ran down to see him sitting in the middle of the wreckage holding a hammer in his hands. Every box had been emptied and the contents destroyed. He’d been twelve then. “Where are we?” asked Anna from sleepy eyes. “Almost in France.” He heard the fear in his own voice and tried to calm it. “We’ll land soon.” “France. That’s it.” She floated back off to sleep. He supposed she was right. France was where his gut told him they’d all meet. Eternity and temporary mixed in a pile of bones and blended into the dark taker of souls.

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Chapter Nineteen Anna woke in a hotel room. She was dressed, lying on a flowered bedspread with a pillow pulled out and placed neatly under her head. Her vision lost its blurriness, which meant the pill must be wearing off. She was glad. Slowly she raised her head and looked around the room. The walls were plain white with a few generic pictures of vineyards. A long chest of drawers stood opposite to her with a large mirror on top. Her bags were on the floor next to it, unopened. “Nick?” she called into the empty room. “Nick?” The pill was leaving in the same way it came. Her arms were heavy and there was a dull ache in her head. She could barely recall the trip, but enough of it came through to remind her that she was in France. Bits of passing consciousness, packing, the airport, helped her to piece it altogether. “Nick?” she asked again. This time she heard water running and noticed a light from beneath a door. There were two doors here. One with an emergency escape route marked on a white paper and glued to the back. There was a small rack a few feet from it with hangers looped around the bar in fixed Os. The other door had light and sound coming from inside. She guessed it was the bathroom. She staggered to her feet and went over to the door. It opened easily filling the room with light. Nick stood in the shower behind the opaque glass covered in white soap that slowly rinsed down the drain. She watched for a moment captivated by his hard body in the simple act of showering. He noticed her stare and opened the door a little for her. She was amused, but didn’t have the strength for play. 132

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Not now,” she smiled as she spoke. Her curiosity satisfied. Nick was just a few feet away. She returned to the bed and wondered what day it was and what time. She’d lost all sense of time since they arrived in Italy. The medication they gave her only made things worse. She knew that she slept, but exactly how long remained a mystery. “Good morning sleepy head.” Nick came out of the bathroom with a white towel wrapped around his waist. “How long was I asleep?” “Around twenty-four hours. It’s Monday.” He ran a comb through his wet hair and looked at himself in the mirror. “Monday? My head feels like I’m recovering from a hangover.” She sat there holding it in both hands. “I was just about to run out and get some food. Want me to get some aspirin while I’m out?” He let the towel drop to the floor and slid on a pair of jeans that were lying across a tired looking vinyl covered chair. “I’m not sure if I want any more pills, but food sounds good.” “Will you be okay here alone? You don’t look like you’re in any condition to see the sites or anything.” “I’ll be fine. Just hurry back.” Her heart skipped a beat. She didn’t really want to be alone, but to admit to it would be to admit fear and weakness. “I’ll pull myself together while you’re gone.” “If you’re sure?” She nodded confidently then winced at the pain in her head. “Maybe some aspirin too.” “Anything for you.” He put on his shirt, then slipped on his shoes. “Be back soon. Tod is across the hall if you need him.” When Nick was ready to leave, his eyes cut to the night table by the bed. Anna noticed him look, but couldn’t tell what he was looking at. He gave her a quick kiss on her cheek then hurried out the door. His haste also seemed strange. She scooted over to the side of the bed to see what might be bothering him. All she saw was a phone book, telephone, and a local listing of places to visit with small subtitles in English and Spanish. She picked up the 133

RESTLESS SHADOWS listing and dropped it to the floor. Revulsion and shame came over her. The object of his trouble was sitting there gleaming. On the table was one of her silver bracelets. She picked it up and studied it carefully. The clasp wasn’t broken. The bangle had been removed from her arm. She looked at her wrists next and noticed the lack of make-up. She was no fool. He’d found her secret and removed one bracelet in order to coerce some deep meaningful confession out of her. He wanted to force the subject, bring her to the breaking point. “Bastard,” she muttered between gritted teeth, but him getting close wasn’t the problem. In some ways she wanted him to care, to learn all her secrets. She loved him, but to share this so soon was too much. Her head was pounding now and she wasn’t in the mood for games. She’d wanted him to break first then perhaps she would tell him a few secrets. Now he held the upper hand. She sulked against the pillows with both arms held out in front of her. The tiny lines that she could never erase gave up her secret. She really wasn’t surprised. She felt like those lines were her marks of death. The marks were there, buried in her soul from birth or from the wish of two parents that never had a need or want for children. Her eyes felt watery, but she couldn’t let herself cry, not now. She must think of her next step, but thinking hurt, everything hurt. It would be easier if he hadn’t found out or at least hadn’t tried to force a discussion about it. Opening up matters of death shouldn’t be forced. “Games. I’ll play a game with you.” She wouldn’t admit to anything or act any differently. Instead she would simply take her shower and recover her wrists. If he mentioned anything about the bracelet, she could say that she found it. Odds were against him stating anything directly. If he wanted to take that approach then he wouldn’t have left her bracelet on the table. With a plan in mind, she felt better. Even the throbbing in her head slowed. She dug into her bag and pulled out one of the only two dresses that she’d dared to bring, then went into the 134

RESTLESS SHADOWS bathroom for a shower. She wanted to be ready when he got there and take him off guard.

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Chapter Twenty Charles gave a cursory glance at the Italian beauty that was his nurse. His mind was elsewhere. His sweet Anna had thrown him a curve. He never anticipated such a bold move from her, and didn’t understand what caused her behavior. She was the one that called him from the bathroom. “Doctor will be in soon,” she said in soft sultry broken English. He waved her away. It didn’t seem fair that he was forced to lie in a hospital bed, while the rest of his party was in France. Tod called and left word that they’d reached the guide and told him of the delay. The three of them would manage until Charles could join them. Tod didn’t mentioned Nick or Anna, just the loose reference to the three of them. He chose his words carefully. It didn’t matter. Charles held a good idea of what was going on in France. There was no one to watch them, not even a guide. That meant his Anna would be romanced in Paris, while he remained stuck in bed and played the villain. He was not pleased and the ache in his throat added to his injustice. Likes to play rough, he thought. Next time he wouldn’t make the same mistakes. He would catch her alone again, and when he did he’d be prepared. There would be no slim chance for a weapon, no closed door, no warning, and no boyfriend. He looked over at his clothes that hung on a hook next to the door. There was a slight bulge in one of his pants pockets. The police did a search, found the bottle, but did not check its contents. The green white granules from the rat poison remained hidden. He considered it fate that the cyanide wasn’t discovered. His innocent bottle of aspirin was returned 136

RESTLESS SHADOWS and all charges dropped. He supposed that he should thank Anna for that. He would thank her for a long time when they were alone. “Mr. Archel. You look like you’re feeling better.” “Yes, Doctor. When can I leave? I have some very important plans.” He tried to sound strong, although his throat burned with every sound. “Tomorrow. You should be well enough tomorrow.” The doctor kept talking, but he quit listening. All he could see was his Anna’s face, the face of rage when she dug the scissors into his neck. The little tease wanted to hurt him. It glared in her eyes. She enjoyed watching him nearly die on the floor. That was fine. He could accept this as foreplay. He understood what drove her and it was as brutal as the fire that grew in him. The act of sweet innocence, the girl he thought would fall helplessly into his arms and not breathe a word about their encounter, turned out to be a fighter. He preferred the twist of fury. That proved she could handle whatever he threw at her and be glad for the experience. The whole affair with Nick was probably just a tool she'd used to get his attention. A game to force his hand and prove his jealousy. She probably despised the little prick as much as he did. Anna just needed a man to prove himself and he could do that. He would do that. “So do you think you can take it easy?” The doctor finished talking. Charles heard the break and answered in a slow nod, but nothing registered. His mind was still formulating his next move. “That’s fine.” The doctor scribbled something on his chart. “Tomorrow then.” Charles watched him walk out of the room. He considered his gift for Nick. Cyanide was a delicious poison. He’d read over its many devastating effects in a newspaper after a murder of a man by his mistress when he’d refused to leave his wife. The article greatly affected him because he’d read it after his first affair. That first affair he’d always remember. Her name was Christine. They did it in the back seat of his car the first time. The 137

RESTLESS SHADOWS affair was wild and passionate, reminding him of youth and making out on the dirt road behind his old house. He’d offered to take her home, then she opened her blouse. Black lace had been hidden there, transparent and beautiful. The next woman he vaguely remembered. He thought that she might’ve been a red head, but couldn’t be sure. The third one was vivid. That was the one that had gotten him busted. A twenty-year old blonde with curly hair that she tied back in a ponytail had brought everything down. He’d taken her home because his wife was going to be out late. They were in bed. He was letting her ride on top and watching her breasts bounce over him. Then the door opened. He’d been busted. After the article, paranoia set in. He smelled everything he drank, checking for the telling bitter almond odor. Its effects were known as internal asphyxia. The red blood cells lose the ability to hold oxygen. He never found any signs of poison. No one cared enough. Even his wife hadn't threatened to hurt him or another woman in order to win his affections. He found it insulting. The women he dumped never even cried. They gave him more of an ‘oh well’, then on to bigger and better things. His fantasy was to have them cry, beg, do anything to have him. None had. He wanted a fury of emotions, hate, pain, something. He needed to see the fear of losing him drive them to the edge. The most he got was a ‘fuck you’, and ‘will this affect my grade’. He knew he could get more out of his Anna. After he had her, she would never be the same. No college boy could stop him. It would only take one properly timed encounter. That’s all he’d need. Alone, some place private, he knew he could make her cry and beg. She was going to cry for a long time.

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Chapter Twenty-One Nick stood in the hallway of the hotel with white paper bags in hand. He banged on Tod’s door first. Tod kept his distance from everyone since the beginning of the trip. Nick decided that this was more from habit than choice. A man doesn’t walk around with his head down unless he’s used to blending into the background. “What’s up?” asked Tod. He was dressed in a button down shirt and jeans. His hair neatly combed and a mild scent of cologne drifted from him. “Going somewhere?” “No,” he paused and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Well, I thought about checking out the sites. We are in Paris.” “I ran out for some food. Want some?” He held up the bags with the word Cafe’ printed on them. “How’s Anna doing? Is she better? I mean...You know.” “She’s fine. I thought we’d eat then maybe all of us could play tourist. How about it?” He saw hesitancy in Tod’s eyes. “She’d probably enjoy having some company.” Nick knew that he would. After leaving the bracelet on the table, he wanted someone else in the room in case Anna went off. He’d planned to leave the bracelet then have some sweet moments with her once she’d found it. At the least he hoped for some answers. On the way out he’d changed his mind. Anna wasn’t the type that would be so easily manipulated. He was almost positive that his plan would backfire. “If you’re sure I won’t be a third wheel or anything.” “I’m sure.” All he could imagine was her hurling a bracelet and maybe some furniture at him. “Come on.” 139

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Oh, wait a minute. The guide called. He said that the professor would be coming up tomorrow. John is going to pick him up at the airport and meet us for dinner.” “Let’s don’t mention that to Anna yet. I’ll tell her tonight. Okay?” Nick turned to face his hotel room. There was no way of guessing how Anna would react or if she’d even found the bracelet. All he could hope is that Tod’s presence would soften the blow. “Sure thing.” Tod stood behind Nick while he opened the door. “Anna, I’m back. We have company.” Nick pushed the door open and stopped dumbfounded. Anna was sitting on the bed in a blue tank dress. The cloth came up thigh high with each curve of her body showing from beneath the thin cloth. “Well don’t just stand there, come in.” She pushed back her hair with one hand and Nick saw her bracelets shining back at him. “Tod is going to join us. Is that okay?” Nick suddenly felt foolish, young, and ignorant of what his next move should be. She was beautiful and he was in trouble. There was something in her smile, or in the way she’d shown her bracelets. “That’s nice.” She got off the bed and walked over to a chair that was pulled out from under a round table next to the air conditioner/heater controls. He set the bags on the table. “I brought some pastry and some drinks. I think they’re cola, but I can’t read the bottle.” Nick still felt like child and couldn’t get himself back under control. He was a mix of desire and fear. “Wow, you look great.” Tod stood in the door where Nick stopped a moment before. “Are you sure I’m not intruding?” “Come in, Tod. We’ve barely had a chance to talk since we started this trip.” She took one of the drinks from the bag and handed it to him. “What’s the matter?”

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RESTLESS SHADOWS “I’ve just never seen you dressed up before.” Tod sat down in the seat closest to the door and scratched his head as if examining a riddle. “You do look nice.” Nick wiped sweaty hands on the front of his jeans and pulled a drink out of the bag. “Do you think you’d be up for some sightseeing later?” “Sure. I’ve always wanted to see Paris. We probably won’t have a chance once the professor gets here. He’ll keep us down in the dark until it is time to leave.” Tod looked at Nick, who caught the opening to mention Charles’ arrival tomorrow. At first he didn’t want to. There was a fire, a happy glow in Anna’s eyes. He didn’t want to be the one to extinguish it with bad news. He already had plenty of explaining to do once Tod was gone and Anna started in on him for examining her while she was asleep. Still, he felt like it was his obligation. “Anna. Charles will be here tomorrow. He and the guide will be coming up for dinner.” He paused, waiting for the look of sadness and loss of hope. After the ordeal Anna went through, this news would be hard. He waited and watched her eyes, but it didn’t come. The news had no more of an effect than if he asked for the salt. “Fine. That won’t throw us off schedule too bad.” Then she took a sip of cola and opened the wax paper that held pastry inside. “Where do you guys want to go today?” “I thought we’d hit the common spots. There’s the Eiffel Tower, the Palais de Chaillot, and the Arc de Triaophe.” Tod smiled after completing the imperfect French accent, although Nick thought he sounded a little like Pepe’ le Pew. “Do you speak French?” asked Anna. “I decided after the Italy fiasco, I’d better learn a little. I’m not going to count on a guide or the professor. I thought the bar keeper was going to beat him up in Italy.” “Want to hear something funny?” Everyone looked at Nick. “That guy spoke great English. He just didn’t like the 141

RESTLESS SHADOWS professor. When I came up, he was nice and understood me perfectly.” Laughter ensued. Tod nearly choked and Anna covered her face with her hands. The noise was a little much for the small humor in the situation, but after everything that happened, it felt good to laugh. Tod coughed, then made himself stop. “I was wondering how you ordered.” The seriousness in his voice started the group laughing again. A few minutes passed and everyone fell silent. The pastries were devoured and they sat back wondering what to do next. Anna finally got up and put on some shoes as a hint to go. The three of them weren’t close enough for long conversations. “Nick, what do you think the catacombs will be like?” “Piles of bones,” Nick said. He didn’t sound easy about it anymore. He’d lost the strange curious edge and drive he held before they started the trip. “Can I ask you something?” Tod nodded with a pasty smile that looked reminiscent of his face after the ossuaries. “Why did you want to go on this trip? I mean seriously. You’ve acted sick since Saint Mary’s. I just can’t place you here.” “You wouldn’t understand.” The answer was sincere. “Don’t be so sure.” Anna sat back down at the table and touched his hand. He jumped a little from the contact. “I’m just a kid. It’s haunted me since the first grade I skipped. I was hoping that getting out and seeing things would…” Tod fell silent. “Be like a rite of passage.” Nick finished his sentence. “You thought it would make you into a man.” “Not just that.” He sighed and hung his head. “I was hoping for some adventure. I don’t know. Everything is so planned out for me. My brain’s forty, my body is seventeen, and my emotions are twelve. I know it sounds stupid. I don’t understand it. How can I expect any one else to?” 142

RESTLESS SHADOWS “It doesn’t sound stupid.” Nick got up and threw away the empty bags. Something was bothering him. This trip wasn’t designed for Tod. His problems could be cured without confronting death. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you better break off from us. I don’t think you belong where were going.” “Just cause I got sick is no reason to leave me out.” “That has nothing to do with it. I don’t think you’re a kid. I believe that you don’t belong with this expedition because there’s danger in the catacombs. You don’t have the same drive as Anna and me. You have a choice of whether to go or not. We don’t.” “I don’t think I have a choice.” Tod’s eyes lowered then shut completely. “I saw something at Saint Mary’s. I...I must be sick.” “What did you see?” Anna asked carefully. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” He wrenched his hands together. “Come on. Tell us. What did you see?” This time Nick asked. He honestly didn’t think that Tod could see the things he and Anna could, but something scared him and he wanted to know what. “You know at the place with the grim reaper skeleton. I was looking at it and I know that my eyes were playing tricks on me so don’t try to tell me that they were, cause I already know it. Anyway, I saw my face appear on the skull of that thing. Right there inside the hood, it appeared in live 3D format. I’ll admit the first place grossed me out, but the second scared the shit out of me.” His words slowed and fear crept back into his face. “It looked so real.” Nick and Anna looked at each other, noting the obvious omen of his death and one he didn’t intend to heed. The boy had something to prove, unfortunately, that something was bound to get him killed. “Have you ever seen anything extraordinary like that before?” asked Nick. “No and don’t try to diagnose me. I’m not a fruitcake. I’m sure it was just jet lag that caused it or the wine. Something like 143

RESTLESS SHADOWS that. I’m sure there are a thousand cases of mirages from long trips. I don’t need any psycho babble to explain it away.” “Go home, Tod.” Anna looked at Nick and back at Tod. “You shouldn’t be here. Go home.” “I will not. I have just as much right to be here as the two of you.” “That’s not true.” Nick spoke slowly trying to decide how much to tell him. He didn’t want Tod to know anything. Things somehow changed now. His life was in danger. “We have ulterior motives for this trip.” He saw Anna look up at him in surprise. “Anna and I have seen strange things too. Anna is very gifted at seeing it.” “Seeing what?” Tod looked bewildered and a little concerned that they might be pulling his leg. “Shades,” Anna said in a whisper as if saying it might conjure the thing out of the shadows and into their midst. “Come on guys. What’s a shade besides something belonging on a lamp?” “Both of us have been touched closely by death.” Nick could see his sister’s face again. The scared teary eyed look of a girl that knows she’s going to die. “We think that death is or could be a real person, or thing would be more precise. A force if you will and we’re trying to find it at home.” “You think home is here? Death wandering around with a French accent.” “I think it lives on death, so where better to make its home than in the city of the dead.” Nick took a deep breath and wondered how much of this would be thrown back into his face by the professor. “I know it sounds weird, but we’re hunting death.” “Be serious!” Tod looked at them and lowered his voice. “What would you do if you found him?” “Gain salvation.” Anna whispered again and took her turn, staring at clenched hands. “Both of us have had trouble getting on with our lives.” Nick tried to sound more logical. “We’re hoping to do that after seeing 144

RESTLESS SHADOWS it, understanding it. Oh, hell I don’t know. I can’t give a good explanation. It’s just something I feel and can’t explain. My gut is telling me that there will never be anything in this world for me unless I finish this. Does that make any sense? Can you understand any of this?” “You have a rite of passage of your own.” He smiled a nervous little smile of a boy caught in the act of mischief. “Your not going to tell Charles any of this, are you?” “No.” His voice sounded gravely serious. “Did I tell you that he didn’t want me on this trip at first? He thought I was too young.” Nick and Anna exchanged another glance. Neither of them wanted him on this trip, but didn’t dare tell him. The idea of having to baby-sit seemed too real when they heard he was coming along. Now, they wanted him to go home for his sake instead of their precious plans. “You shouldn’t have come.” Anna pulled her hair back and Nick noticed the nervousness in her eyes. “It’s too dangerous. Go home.” “I can’t. I felt like I needed to come on this thing too. I’m not hunting death or anything. I guess I’m hunting life. It’s too late to turn back now. I’m going through with this however it turns out.” Tod’s words sounded strong, but Nick noticed the sickly pale returning to his face. “You don’t have to do this.” “Yes I do. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to my room to get some money. We have some site seeing to do.” Tod got up and took an uneasy step with shaky knees that threatened to buckle and give away his brave act. The next step was sounder, more sure. Then he was out the door and out of sight. “He’s going to die, isn’t he?” asked Nick. “I don’t know. He might save all of us.” She stood up and grabbed her purse. “I’ve never heard of death giving warnings before, have you?” Nick shook his head. He imagined that it would take Tod a few minutes to come back. He figured the kid was fighting back 145

RESTLESS SHADOWS tears, sitting on his bed, and hoping that everyone thought him a brave soldier, a man that they could respect. That seventeen-year old probably spent all his life searching for respect and never finding it. It would be hard to have a great mind trapped in a child’s body. “I’m more worried about us.” Anna kissed him on the cheek, but the kiss was uneasy. “Do you think Tod will be okay today? He seemed pretty shaken.” “He’ll be fine. That kid has a lot of guts.” **** They decided on making the Eiffel Tower their first stop. They walked out of the hotel and breathed in air unmistakably foreign and Anna thought it smelled very French. A mix of life, strange and new. “Ou’ puis-je trouver un taxi?” Tod spoke to a man standing on the street. Anna thought he sounded romantic in his Americanized French, the man he stopped didn’t apparently share her sentiment. He furrowed his brows and looked insulted at the attempt. “A taxi would be one street over.” The man tipped his hat at Anna and walked away. “I guess I don’t have the accent down yet.” Tod’s face flushed with color. “Je ne sais pas.” “Come on Pepe le skunk. Your French stinks.” Nick grabbed Anna’s hand and started down the street. “We could take a bus.” Tod walked behind them, looking like a jealous lover trying to interrupt something private. His steps were hurried causing his head to lean in between Nick and Anna’s. “No.” Anna immediately responded. “Buses are crowded and I don’t do well around large groups of people.” “I’m not crazy about them either. Let’s just get a taxi. You can say Eiffel Tower can’t you, Pepe?” “Oui mon collegue.” Tod poked his face between the couple and put a hand on each of their shoulders. “Oui, Oui.” “Whatever Pepe.” 146

RESTLESS SHADOWS Anna was glad to see Tod in higher spirits. He didn’t even look like the same boy that walked out of their hotel room with shaking legs and pale face, pondering his existence and the possibilities of becoming a man instead of a victim. They got a taxi and were dropped of at the Ecole Militaire, a beautiful building on one side of the Eiffel Tower. Roads ran down both sides surrounded by grass and trees that continued to the tower. They walked down the Champ De Mars to the iron latticework that reached so predominantly into the sky. Many tourists gathered around it, wanting to go up and see Paris from its dizzying heights. Anna found it strange to hear English being spoken nearby. She’d felt like she was in another world until she heard a very American voice asking a nearby man to snap off a picture. She glanced over and saw the ideal tourists with bright shirts, sunglasses, and cameras strung around their necks. As she studied them, she noticed dimness in the man’s eyes. He was handing his camera over to a French man. At first glance, the elderly man seemed the image of health but she knew differently. The darkness was fatal. He probably wouldn’t see his native soil again. It could be cancer or heart disease or any number of things that attack people his age. The cause didn’t really matter. The effect was always the same. She turned her head and stared back up at the great monument. “It’s beautiful,” and she concentrated on this instead of the ugly ending slowly moving a few feet away from the man in his seventies with white hair and a mischievous smile of the boy he once was. “It is impressive.” Nick walked ahead, pulling away from her in his hurry for a closer look. “Certainly is.” Anna hung back with Tod. She enjoyed watching Nick. His body moved smoothly with muscles she could vaguely see beneath his clothes. She could feel the allure in watching his long strides and his smiling face as he turned back and waved for them to hurry. 147

RESTLESS SHADOWS “So you and Nick are a couple?” Tod’s voice didn’t sound questioning, but more of confirming a fact. “Yes. I guess everyone knows that. We are staying together.” “Well, I wasn’t sure if you two were a real thing or just fooling around.” Tod looked at her with an awkward smile. “I mean, what will you two be after the trip?” Anna wasn’t honestly sure either. They’d never discussed anything beyond the trip. A fantasy of a long lasting relationship after finding Shades seemed too dreamlike, too distant and that made the possibility of never seeing home with Nick all the more real. “We haven’t discussed it. I have to finish school and I’m sure he has job offers far away. It might hinder dating to say the least. I don’t know what will happen.” “I wasn’t trying to be nosy or anything.” Tod looked at Nick then back at Anna. “You two look good together. Probably have gorgeous kids. Maybe buy one of those houses in a development where everyone has money. I can see you now driving around in a Volvo, off to pick up the kids from school.” “What’s going on?” Anna felt like there was more to this conversation, some underlying meaning that Tod was avoiding. “Nothing. I am just curious. That’s all.” Her instincts told her differently. “Is it about what you saw?” Anna stopped in front of Tod and looked into his eyes. “You can go home. There is no reason for you to continue on this trip.” “No. It’s just that…I don’t know. Things are different for me. I can’t see myself with a girl, starting a family, or buying a house. I can’t even see myself at thirty. What does that mean, huh? What does it mean when you can’t picture yourself ever really growing up.” “Tod.” Anna reached out and touched his shoulder. “It just means that you don’t know what it’s like yet. It’s hard to picture yourself doing something that seems foreign. Next year you may not remember what it is like to feel like a boy.” She realized that the comment, although meant with good intentions, cut him deeply like any insult. His eyes focused back 148

RESTLESS SHADOWS on the pavement and he shoved both hands into his blue jeans in a pout. “Whatever.” “I didn’t mean anything. I don’t think of you as a kid…” She tried to choose her words carefully. In her eyes Tod seemed like a child, although only eight years separated them. His experiences were limited to a sheltered home and books. In many ways she spoke to a boy that had no idea of what created a man. “I just thought that you considered yourself a boy. That’s all.” “I guess.” “Come on guys. There’s a line for the elevator.” Nick yelled from the back of a small stream of people. “You go on. I don’t want to see the world from the top of that.” Anna didn’t care for heights. Things were too uncertain when both her feet were planted firmly on the ground much less hanging from a hundred feet in the air. “I’ll meet you at the Seine.” “You coming Tod?” People already began to file behind Nick. “No. I’m going to hang out with your girlfriend.” “You two be good.” He joked. “I’ll meet you in a little while.” Anna walked toward the river with its boats dotting the dock and moving along in the still water with bright colors of wood and steel. She’d never believed Paris could be this busy or crowded. On TV it always looked quiet, romantic with a couple going unnoticed kissing on a bench. She couldn’t imagine anything going unnoticed here. “What are you thinking about?” Anna looked back almost surprised at the sound of his voice. She grew lost in her own world, trying to imagine such a vast populace living in these crowded streets. She supposed that this must be some kind of rush hour and that night must be the romantic time when the tower is lit up and casts a faint glow over the city. That was the Paris she longed to see. Then again that isn’t the Paris she’d come to see. Somewhere amid the smiling 149

RESTLESS SHADOWS faces rushing off to their destinations hid eternity just below their feet. “Where are the catacombs?” Anna wondered about their location since she woke in the hotel. “Not far. I checked out a map before we left. Its located in Denfert-Rochereau. You have to cross the river to get to it from our hotel.” “Would you pronounce the name of the hotel for me?” She loved the French language. There was something about the flow that amazed her like beautiful music. “Hotel Bergere. Don’t get too thrilled. It’s ran by good old Best Westerns.” “You lie.” She laughed and thought about the very American ads on TV that ran every tourist season. “No. It’s the truth. Why don’t you learn French? I thought you were a brain or something.” “I can’t learn certain things.” Anna rolled her eyes at the thought. “Science and people all fascinate me. Languages have always been harder. I nearly flunked high school Spanish. It nearly cost me my scholarship.” “Well, we are headed to Empire de la Mort. Does that sound any less scary than Kingdom of Death?” “Actually it does. I know the word ‘mort’ and how it came to be mortal, mortality and so forth, but it still creates a picture of an old man named Mortimer who gets called Mort for short and sits around in his underwear all day, scratching himself and telling bad stories about when he was a boy.” “You’re crazy.” Anna laughed then the sound faded down to nearly cynical. “I wish I were. Things would be much better.” Tod looked at her strangely for a moment and she was afraid that he’d ask her what she meant. Luckily he didn’t and let the odd comment pass. Anna wasn’t good at censoring herself. Lately it became worse. “Let’s head back. I don’t want Nick to get lost finding us.” “Anna, can I ask you something?” 150

RESTLESS SHADOWS She was afraid her comment didn’t go by after all and another long dreary conversation would come up with her trying to explain again why he should go home and leave this insanity to her and Nick. “Go ahead.” “I’m not hitting on you or anything, but if you weren’t with Nick would you find me attractive?” She never expected a question like that. Thinking about him in any sexual way seemed perverse, almost incestuous like wanting a younger brother, but the question had been asked and Tod didn’t want the truth. His eyes begged silently for a sweet lie that would make him the equivalent of a virile man women would fall for. “I think you are a very handsome man and if I hadn’t gone nuts for Nick I’d be all over you.” She finished the comment with a wink that made Tod blush, but a smile came with the blush that told her she’d made the right choice. They walked for a few minutes in silence. It felt comfortable, calm. She started back into her thoughts when she felt a touch on the shoulder. Tod stopped her then leaned close to her ear. For a moment she was afraid that he’d kiss her, but instead he spoke. “Thank you.” His voice was nearly a whisper. Then he pulled away as if he’d said nothing at all. “For what?” She suspected the deception had been noticed, but didn’t want to admit to anything. “Stroking my ego. I needed that.” “I wasn’t... .” A wave of his hand stopped her. She knew that if she continued lying her gesture would be reduced to an insult. “Anna!” Nick ran up to them from a small crowd in front of them. “You’ve got to go up. It’s wonderful.” “I don’t think so.” “Anna, you’re only going to be in Paris once in your life. You’ve got to go.” Nick started tugging on her arm in the direction of the tower. “I don’t have to do anything.” “Come on,” said Tod. “I’ll go if you do.” 151

RESTLESS SHADOWS “No.” She considered it then realized how foolish she sounded. This would probably be the only time she would see Paris and to give up one of the most spectacular views because of fear made her asinine. “Come on,” Nick pleaded again. “Okay but if something happens I’m blaming you.” “What’s going to happen?” He started pulling her, forcing her to walk ahead to the line at the base. “I don’t know. Terrorists, earthquakes, really high wind that could blow us off and smash us against the ground.” “Fine. If you get smashed against the ground you can blame me.” Nick shook his head. “I’m sure happy to see you’ve got the right attitude about this thing.” He laughed and Tod joined in. Anna just stood there staring at the enormous monument. They got into line for the elevator which was much more expensive than the stairs, but the idea of having to climb up that far under her own power seemed impossible to Anna. She felt like her knees would buckle just standing in the line much less climbing a thousand feet surrounded by metal webbery. A few minutes passed and they were able to board the elevator. The doors closed and a suffocated feeling settled into Anna like a lead weight on her chest. Tod and Nick looked excited and she tried to hold the same demeanor, but it only made her nauseous. She shut her eyes and waited. The elevator stopped at the top. Paris unfolded beneath them in marvelous scenery, mixing in green trees and black roadways. She could clearly see the river with the long arch it made around the city. Monuments surrounded them in breathtaking splendor with small ant sized people milling around them. “It’s beautiful,” she muttered, but no one heard. She realized that biggest cliché in Paris was more than metal, more than a cliché. The icon stole her breath. It would’ve been a mistake to miss this view. She lost her fear in wonderment and began to move around the walkway for more. 152

RESTLESS SHADOWS The views remained spectacular. She ventured around to the other side not wanting to miss any part of the Paris skyline. Something in the distance caught her eye. In the southeast a strange black smoke rose up and not from any fire. The small curls of smoke were thinner, silkier as they rose into the air. They didn’t dissipate but looked to reach into the heavens on ribbons of black. It reminded her of the restaurant where Shades’ visited, except this looked thinner, like a lasting mark or scar of its prescience dimly continuing and marring the landscape. She quickly searched the crowd for Nick. They moved away from each other since they got off the elevator and she lost him in the crowd. It would probably be foolish to show it to him. He barely noticed the blackness that totally overrode the restaurant in Asheville. This smoke trail was far too small to be visible to him. It grew harder to focus in on the point of its origination the longer she stared. Then she realized that the stream was moving. Horror flooded her thoughts. The silken lines were moving toward her, bending in the middle with its connections clearly in place between the ground and sky. The middle kept coming toward her. Something terrible was going to happen. There would be some mad terrorists wired with bombs ready to kill them all and bring the tower into a crumpled wreck or some natural disaster would wipe them from the earth for being so foolish to rise above the protection of the ground. The tool of their demise may be unclear, but Shades was coming closer, coming towards them. Her body shuddered, the panic locked up any means of escape. She stared into its slithering column and in that twisting smoke she saw its face. Her feet began to move without her realizing until she bumped into another visitor. The contact broke the trance the column held on her. She started searching for Nick. Anna ran blindly into the crowd. She found Tod first and grabbed him, pulling him after her without explanation. Nick was still standing where they’d gotten off the elevator. She took his 153

RESTLESS SHADOWS arm hoping that she could make some sense out of the hysteria racing through her. “We have to go now!” That was all that would come out of her mouth. She couldn’t think of the words to explain, only voice the desperate need to leave the metal meat hook they were standing on. “We’ve got to get off this thing.” “What’s wrong?” Nick stood in her way, talking too slowly, not understanding what was about to overtake them. Anna started to speak but she heard something in the distance. The voice was barely audible but familiar. “I thought you were looking for me. Why do you run? I thought this is what you wanted.” “Now, Nick! Now!” She wanted to look behind her, wanted to see off into the distance, but fear kept her from it. If she stopped to look, its trance might hold her until it arrived and do any number of things to them. Worse, it could be too close to run from. She couldn’t stand to see the thing envelop them into its dark fog. “Move it!” Anna dragged them to the elevator in time to get on before its descent. She shut her eyes not wanting to see how close this race was going to be. The elevator was dropping slowly, too slowly to offer any comfort in being on board, locked into its feeding cage. Halfway down the elevator jerked, and the mechanical noise slowed. Again the familiar voice whispered to her, much closer this time. It seemed to come from right behind her ear. “Fine then.” Its garbled voice spoke to only her. “I’ll wait for you if that’s what you’d prefer.” The elevator resumed, but Anna didn’t open her eyes until the stop at the bottom with land only a few feet away.

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Chapter Twenty-Two Nick was the first one out of the taxi. They arrived at de la Bastille. Anna refused to talk about what happened at the tower. She kept quiet as if still bothered by something, but she didn’t insist on going back to the hotel. Nick decided that they should continue their excursion and hope Anna came around. Sitting in a hotel room wouldn’t be good for any of them, especially with the professor on his way back tomorrow. Tod summoned the taxi and asked to be taken anywhere with some sites and restaurants. After a long discussion the driver chose to take them here where the walk was considered excellent and the restaurants magnificent. He’d pointed them in the right direction for checking out some of the beauty in Paris then pulled away. They started walking up the rue de la Roquette. Many restaurants and bars were promised to be ahead, along with art galleries. Nick wanted to see a French art gallery. This was the place he felt art had been born in and all the New York galleries or cozy snooty corners with high priced canvases couldn’t compete. They went among the French who were bustling along the walks to their destinations. The buildings were made of cut stone surrounding them in history. Nick couldn’t help feeling a little insignificant among so many people in a city older than the imagination. The past here, wasn’t covered up but brought to life as if each soul that had passed these monument throughout time left a little piece of themselves, a small reminder that made the stone buildings so much more. Street lights were stuck into the walk. The metal poles looked insignificant during the day. He wanted to see this place at 155

RESTLESS SHADOWS night when the iridescent glow would light up the streets and dot the world. A right turn took them onto the rue de Lappe. Bars lined this street with neon signs and modern awnings. He didn’t appreciate the prevalent touches. After seeing so many wonders, it looked cheap. They were functional, though and each looked inviting it their way. He thought about the bar in Italy and realized the walk made him very thirsty. “Let’s get something to drink.” Nick looked at Anna who nodded, then to Tod who was admiring a French woman with long dark hair swept to the side. “Tod, is that okay with you? Tod?” “What?” He asked not taking his eyes of the woman. “Thirsty?” Nick tried again, finding Tod’s concentration on the view amusing. “Wanna get a beer?” “Actually, I am. Let’s go over there.” He pointed to a bar across the street. The lady he’d been admiring walked inside and stood near the door. “Let’s follow hormone boy.” Nick’s comment was cut short when Anna slapped his arm. “Sorry.” He didn’t want to make Tod mad so he dropped the line of comments that were dying to come out. Tod walked into the building ahead of everyone. Nick noticed his lady putting on an apron and grabbing a tray from the bar. The atmosphere looked a little seedy, but Nick had been in far worse dives in his time. There were bare windows, plain wooden bar, a few stools, and several tables lined with chairs. A poster above the bar read something he couldn’t make out in French. Next to it were shelves lined with glasses in front of an old mirror. A soft jazzy sort of music played, adding something sexy to the place. There were a few people inside, but apparently still too early for their regulars. Nick and Anna walked up behind Tod. He was still studying the woman who looked four or five years older than he was, with enough cleavage to bury him, atop a slender figure and slightly wide hips. 156

RESTLESS SHADOWS “What do you guys want?” asked Tod. “I don’t care. Beer I guess.” Nick tried to see anything that looked like or sounded like beer at the bar, but nothing stuck out. “I want something non alcoholic. I need my mind clear.” Anna looked like she needed to get wasted but neither of them questioned her. “Pardon. Je regrette je parle tres peu le francais.” Tod spoke to the waitress who shot him a look with as much interest as he held for her. “Je voudrais duex biere, et un Perrier s’il vous plait.” Nick took Anna’s hand and led her away from the bar to a table in the corner. Tod would be back with their drinks and there was no sense in crowding him. Nick felt sure that he’d done this rarely if ever and that his chances with a mature woman were slim. The first shoot down can be difficult. “Are you feeling better?” he asked her. “Are you sure we should be doing this?” She studied the wood grains on the tabletop. “I mean, what are we searching for?” The question took him off guard. He never believed Anna would want to back out. Something terrible must’ve shaken her, but he couldn’t imagine anything worse than a breathing altar or seeing the horror show that was her life. “We’ll know when we find it, but I can’t tell you if it’s right for us to be doing this. Are you having second thoughts?” He didn’t want to hear the answer. He didn’t want to try this alone. She was his back up, his second sight. Without her everything might fall apart. “How can I not?” She breathed hard and shook her head in a silent no. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. Let’s just have some fun. I don’t want to think about any more of this until I have to.” “You don’t want to tell me what you saw at the tower?” “No.” She sounded defensive and immovable on this topic. “I am tired of the morbid. I’ve spent my life dwelling in it and for the next day or two I want nothing more to do with it. I want a little life.” “Okay. I agree. Let’s have some fun.” 157

RESTLESS SHADOWS “The drinks are coming.” Tod sat down at the table and looked back at the lady at the bar with more admiration than ever. She was pouring beer from a spout into a mug with Tod studying her as if she was performing surgery. “So who is she?” Nick leaned back in his seat and waited for Tod’s trance to break. “Do you know her name? Do you know where you are?” “Evette. She said she’d bring our drinks over in a minute. You guys don’t mind if I ditch you for dinner tonight. I might have plans.” “Go for it. We don’t mind,” he laughed. “Just don’t bring home any foreign diseases.” “Nick.” Anna punched at his arm. “Let him have some fun.” “I was kidding. Good grief. Haven’t you heard of safe sex?” “Nick.” Anna looked over at the approaching waitress. He caught the hint and let his teasing halt long enough to get his beer. “Here you are, mon ami.” She set the drinks down in front of them, leaning over a little too long in front of Tod. “Merci beaucoup.” He looked at his friends at the table nervously. “Evette...Would you like to go out for dinner tonight... dinner with me?” “You are asking me out for a date?” She pushed her dark hair back over her shoulder. “Yes. I’d like to take you out, please.” Tod looked nervously back at his friends and Nick realized that he asked her out here for support. Most men would’ve preferred to hide in a corner and not risk total public humiliation, but Tod apparently didn’t think of things in the same way. At this table he had back up. “Oui. I would like that. Pick me up here at eight. I will show you Paris. It is quite beautiful at night.” “Thank you.” His eyes were wide with wonder and desire. She sauntered off, giving him a glance over her shoulder.

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RESTLESS SHADOWS “You did it.” Nick tried to sound casual, not too surprised. He didn’t want to destroy Tod’s confidence. The hardest part was ahead, the date. “Good going.” “I did it,” he whispered with the same stupefied look on his face, a huge grin with the wide-eyed shock. “I knew she’d say yes.” Anna patted his arm and sipped her drink. “I hope you realize this means that I get to romance you tonight.” Nick smiled. “Just you and me alone together. I hope you don’t mind.” “Don’t take advantage of sweet little innocent me,” she batted her eyes mockingly. “Just give me the chance. I’ve got a few things in mind for you.” He took a long drink of his beer and realized the drink tasted considerably stronger than the brew at home. “What have I gotten myself into?” Tod covered his face and turned back to the table, but Nick and Anna paid him little attention. “So what do you say to a romantic dinner. Maybe seeing some of the night lights.” Nick squeezed her knee gently to make her draw closer. “I bet it is breathtaking. If you’re up to it, I mean.” “I’m yours. Let’s enjoy tonight.” He slid his hand up to her thigh and let it rest there. Being a public display wasn’t something he enjoyed, but around Anna only certain thoughts prevailed and modesty wasn’t one of them. He didn’t care who saw or what they thought. After all, they were in France. A country with a kiss named after it couldn’t be prudish. “Tod,” Nick leaned over and whispered something to him. When he was finished, he took out his wallet and handed over a few francs. Tod tapped the money in his hand and was handed a few more. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move. I think there was a place a few doors down.” 159

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Thanks.” Nick sat there looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. “What was that all about?” “I’m not telling. It’s a surprise. A little something special I think you’ll like.” He leaned back and drank, watching her with that mischievous grin. “For me? Whatever could it be?” “No. For us. I’m not telling you anything else.” He went back to his beer and ignored Anna’s anxious eyes. After draining it he was ready to talk. “How do you think Tod will do tonight on his date?” “I think he’ll be awkward and clumsy. I think he’ll say and do all the wrong things that should be obvious even to a child and more importantly I think Evette will find him wonderfully charming and interesting for it. She will think he’s sweet and sincere. With a little luck, he might even be out all night.” “You really believe a little squirt like that will get lucky with a built French woman.” “Yes I do and who said you could admire the built French women?” “Jealous?” He liked this interesting update. He felt a strong connection with Anna, but never put it into terms of a relationship. She did that for him through the green eyed monster. It felt nice and reassuring to verify something emotional. The sweet after thoughts when passion ended had never been expressed. She’d never asked his intentions. Everything remained in his court and he didn’t know how to handle it. Usually women demanded to know their place, how they fit into the picture, but not her. It was as if some unspoken agreement with the fates had been made and neither one of them knew anything about it. Their lives were predestined and no one was telling them how the story was supposed to go or end. “I didn’t say that.” She paused and Nick could feel her leg move up and down nervously. “I just thought it was rude to be admiring women when you’re with one.” 160

RESTLESS SHADOWS She side stepped the tangle again. Everything he felt was reduced to the here today who knows about tomorrow. He paused to consider his dilemma then went for a bold maneuver, hoping to force some reaction out of her. “Just worried about politeness? So if you weren’t here I could ask out all the French women I wanted to. There would be no question over proper behavior in front of a lady. Is that it?” “What are you trying to do?” He wanted more, but she wouldn’t be caught. “Nothing. I was curious about how much you cared.” He tried to play it off jokingly and added a pouty lip. “The world, baby. I’d give the world for you.” Anna waved Evette down as she tried to wait on another table. “Do you have gin and tonic? I’d like something stronger.” “Un gin or deux?” “One please.” She held up one finger to make it plainer. “Another beer please,” Nick added holding up his bottle. The waitress nodded and walked away. Nick looked up to find Anna watching him, trying to decide if he did find the waitress attractive or not. Her eyes were narrow and mouth in a straight line. “I wasn’t looking at her. I only look at you, jealous.” He sounded displeased, but felt extreme joy in her small confession. Tod reappeared at the door with a paper bag. His cheeks were flushed as if someone had just told him a dirty joke. He quickly came over and handed the bag to Nick then set his change on the table. “What did you send him after?” Anna went for the bag, but Nick held it out of reach. “I’ll show you if you admit you were jealous.” He waited, wanting to hear the words, but keeping the bag extended away from her. “Come on. Let me hear you say it. You’re jealous. Come on. Say it.” He waited, bringing the bag closer then moving it away. “Are you scared, too?” Anna didn’t say anything at first. For a moment Nick thought the ploy wouldn’t work, but soon curiosity took hold. Frustration 161

RESTLESS SHADOWS came over her and the leg under the table started drumming up and down again. “Okay. I was a little jealous.” “Only a little,” he coaxed. “Take what you can get.” She leaned forward unwilling to continue. “Fine. Take a look.” He handed her the bag then sat back. “It’s for tonight. Hope you don’t mind.” “Don’t look here,” Tod protested but no one listened. He’d been forgotten in the game of flirting. “I don’t get it.” She pulled out a bag of licorice rope and a squirt can of whip cream. The labels were all in French but the content of each was clear. “What?” With the items on the table the inhibition he felt earlier vanished. He felt warm, red, and as if every eye in the place was on him. “Put those away. I don’t want everyone to see. Shit!” “You don’t want everyone to see your midnight snack?” She still hadn’t gotten it. “For a brilliant student with such a ingenious mind, you’re an idiot. I can’t believe you don’t get it.” Nick waited hoping she could piece it together. Another second of uncomfortable silence with the sweets out on the table broke him. “You are my midnight snack. Those are just the toppings.” “Your drinks.” Evette set the gin on the table then saw the whip cream and laughed. “Oh, you Americans.” She placed the beer in front of Nick and left without glancing once at Tod. Anna slid them back into the bag as bright heat filled her cheeks. “I didn’t realize...I had no idea...I’m sorry.” “I guess you are a little innocent. That won’t last long.” Nick took the bag from her and slid it under his chair while he finished his beer. “Thanks, guys. I really needed that,” said Tod, but no one listened.

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Chapter Twenty-Three Day faded into night setting long rays against the French skyline. Shadows fell silently in widening blocks that strode over the ground, engulfing the lighter patches in a strange mystery of grays and blacks, barely resembling the former shape that created them. The day had been invaded by the night once again. The event appeared to be a subtle battle that raged, pushing night onto a city. The war went on daily with only minor victories, during full moons with its eerie brightness in the midst of night or stormy days when the darkness seemed never ending. In some areas around the world the battle was ending, in others the battle was halfway through, but all shared one quality ebbing from corners in sick old men’s room, or lurking in the streets where an on coming bus couldn’t stop in time, or growing from an intimate moment on a bed between lovers lost in passion. The Shades crept silently, hidden in the smallest dark space, traveling between continents in a blink. Age made no difference to it. Political standing, money, or power couldn’t shake it. It ran its course by the hundreds where famine and disease were rampant. Millions were lost to its touch every day. Each one was chosen carefully by methods only Shades understood alone. Every death had a personal touch, a quality Shades found very human. Some went on to be a hundred while others couldn’t make one day. It knew the beckoning call and who was chosen to depart. Its job was simple and there was no chance of running out of work. It is true that Shades felt more comfortable around relics of its work. They were trophies of completed tasks. In the catacombs in France his relics were everywhere, stacked up in homage to his 163

RESTLESS SHADOWS work, to his goal. When free moments found it, he would reside there. Shades was also aware of his future visitors. Their souls screamed their confrontation, their betrayal out loud to him. It didn’t understand the need for an early meeting. The female knew it many times, seen it during its duties. The male had only a vague working knowledge and a buried hope of revenge for a soul he was close to. Shades hoped they would give up their foolish trip, but determination was deeply set into each. There would be no point in them coming, but if a lesson is what each wanted then that was what they’ll get. No madness, no mind shut off into 3-D perception, and certainly no mercy. Shades considered these thoughts with no malice. They were facts, that’s all. There was also no sadness to them like there was no sadness to any of the ends he brought to lives that coursed over the planet. It had seen thousands cry, millions suffer, but no sad emotion ever crept up into its dark endless being. There was only a sense of a job well done and it knew humans could never understand, yet these two tried to desperately to do that. They never saw the duality, the completeness to Shades work. A new beacon summoned it and again another continent was crossed. It glided in wind and hid in motionless shadows sliding in and out of the world unnoticed. Once in a while there would be a gifted one like his visiting pair that could see it. They ranged in all ages and races but their numbers were too few to matter and the ones that did see never concentrated on the vision, but dismissed them as imagination or mistakes. Shades felt comfortable in the anonymous title, except the rules changed this time and there were two willing to confront the taker of life for answers or revenge or death. The result didn’t matter to the Shades.

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Chapter Twenty-Four Anna lay in the dark on the bed next to Nick. She listened to the deep low sound she’d come accustomed to the past few days. It was nice to have company at night. She’d always feared darkness even as an adult. Things were easier with him lying there. The slow exhales too loud for conscious breathing were satisfying even binding in some way greater than sex could be. The afterwards is what built lives together she decided. Waking up together could create more than lying down ever could. Drowsiness over came her and she shut her eyes. The world began to fade. Her mind briefly noted the stickiness left on her body and the mild scent of sugar mixed with sex but none of that mattered. Her body felt heavy, tired. Sleep neared as she drifted to it while thoughts became garbled with color and then nothing. A breeze entered the room and she stirred, then opened her eyes to a murky morning. There was light in the room, enough to see by, but it held a foggy haze quality. She rolled over to go back to sleep, not noticing the way the thickened cold air settled over her. She reached down to pull up the cover kicked to the foot of the bed. The edge of the cotton was in her hand then a strange hand found hers. Air came out of her lungs in a silent cry. She looked over, startled then relieved to see Nick next to her. He wasn’t on the bed but kneeling beside it with an obscene smile on his face. The fog was thick around them making everything else in the room fade out to obscurity. “A fog came in. Would you shut the window?” Nick gave no reply only pulled her to him. His eyes were closed but his hands found her easily. He reached up to her mouth 165

RESTLESS SHADOWS touching it with his fingertips. Both hands began running over her naked body like a blind man reading Braille. She reacted to the smooth touch, letting desire build as he toyed with her flesh. “Again?” she asked pleased. He pulled her onto the carpet, beginning a silent seduction. A harsh odor caught her off guard. It hadn’t been there before, but now it smelled old like dirt from a basement. The smell reminded her of a place that could grow nothing but mold and mildew. Another thing bothered her. The carpet itself didn’t feel soft anymore but had turned colder and harder. In this new position she could see nothing but the fog. Even her lover’s face was lost periodically in the murk. She didn’t mind. There was something sexy about it. Nick’s touch was subtle but harder than it had been a few hours before. The change was dismissed to rising desires. His fingertips felt cool in the wee morning hours. They tickled her skin, turning her nipples hard and trailing the sensation between her thighs. His mouth was on her flesh kissing and tasting her throat then sliding downward. He took great care with her breasts, suckling, nipping, then switching to the other until both were swollen. Anna wanted to feel him, to make him react. She tried to touch him but he pushed her hands away and continued his fascination with her breasts. Each nipple caught between icy lips again and again. Fingers probed her deeply as a moan escaped her. Nick leaned up to her mouth and kissed her deeply, swallowing her cries. There was something different about his kiss, cold, exotic. Then she realized that his hands were also too cold. “Do I please you?” he whispered. “Oh yes, but I don’t think the night air agrees with you.” She wrapped her arms around him feeling his muscular back. Her other hand touched his chest. “Let’s see what I can do about warming you up.” Her hand glided down his abdomen and was pushed away again. A cold kiss trailed down her body and when his hands went to her thighs, she opened easily. His mouth tasted one thigh, 166

RESTLESS SHADOWS then the next becoming more ravenous as he settled in the middle. Her body arched upward as his tongue worked steadily at making her lose control. Even his breath felt icy, adding a strange delight to the act. Pleasure coursed through her as he manipulated her body. Finally she couldn’t hold on and felt the world explode around her. His actions grew harder until her body rippled against him and her cries subsided. “Good girl,” he whispered. “But I’m not finished.” He kissed his way back up her body devouring her hips, navel and renewing his interest in her breasts. “I want to please you,” she spoke softly. “Let me please you.” She reached down and felt his wiry hair below. She felt for him and went down to his leg. Slowly she came back up trying to find the source of so much pleasure and again she went beyond it. “What the... .” “Shhh, princess. I have something else in mind for you.” His hands began to touch her with a near icy quality. The sensation felt erotic at first, pleasing to her hot body. His mouth lowered then came back up as his fingers probed her again. She let out another moan low and hungry. She let him touch her and in her sleepy mind she knew she wanted him. Again she reached down to caress his lower regions. “I’m not equipped with life producing organs.” He whispered the news in her ear softly like a lover’s dirty talk in the night. “What?” She turned his face to hers and saw Nick’s loving expression. Then the eyes opened with gleaming blackness and glowing irises held within. He met her gaze. “Who are you?” “Don’t you recognize me?” He licked his lips and smiled. “I think you know exactly who I am.” Her hand pressed against his solid weight and couldn’t move him. She tried to scoot backwards out from under this impostor. She realized that the carpeted hotel room floor had changed to dirt and stone. “Why are you trying to flee? Don’t you know the word orgasm means little deaths?” It laughed with a foreign wild sound 167

RESTLESS SHADOWS then quieted down to a near serious expression. “I thought you wanted to be here. I thought you ached to be in my home.” It started to laugh again and Anna didn’t think she could stand to hear that sound for one more second. “Please stop.” “Does this form not please you?” While lying on top of her it changed. Nick’s face no longer held but went into a black mass like clay then reformed into Tod’s. “Is this more your fantasy?” “Get away from me!” Her voice echoed loudly in the stillness. “If you want me away, then why do you seek me out?” She realized that Shades was with her, toying with her, molesting her. The hand of death that rested on her breasts so near her beating heart. Those fingers had been inside her. The cold mouth that took so many souls kissed her lips. Fear and repulsion seized her with nightmarish intensity that held her breath, palpitated her heart, and made her soul chill under its touch. “Get away!” The sound came up as a loud whisper. That was all the fear inside her would allow. “I will leave you, if you tell me why.” His body rested between her thighs, leaning up on his elbows to face her. “Why do you pursue me?” Its entire body felt like ice against hers. Her skin crawled in repulsion and a thick nausea. He could kill her easily. There was no place for her to run. All the choices were in this creature’s hands. His prying touch could’ve already placed the end inside her body. It might come at any moment or seethe for a lifetime inside taking the form of some ghastly disease. Everything could end for her now in Shades arms so she had no choice but to play along. If he wanted answers then she might as well give them. She felt foolish now for thinking she could have a controlled confrontation where all the mysteries would be solved. “I just want my life back.” Tears swelled in her eyes and she fought against letting them fall. That would be too weak, too female. She couldn’t let that part of herself show. If this was 168

RESTLESS SHADOWS going to be the end, then let it know she was strong. “I haven’t had one in so long.” “Life?” It pondered the word for a moment. “Why don’t you have one?” His question seemed absurd. She blamed Shades for so long that she expected it to have planned her suffering not be surprised by it. There had to be malicious reasons behind it holding her wrists, behind it surfacing around her, it always being there. “I see things, you. Everything about me has been preoccupied with death. I drive down the road and see you. I’m afraid to look in peoples’ faces because I’m afraid of what I’ll find there. I’m afraid to see you there. Everything in my life revolves around the end.” “It was not your yearning for life that caused such a change in your perception. My dear, the opposite brought me to you. I heard your cries from your bedroom, your prayers for death. There was no love in your home, only dread and you wished to be free from it. I would’ve gladly taken you. Relieved you from the pain. I waited by your side until the end approached much like the lover I came as tonight. I came just to please you. That’s when you changed your mind. It took near death to make you want life, so why the grudge against me now? I do not understand.” One hand went to caress her breast again except it changed to black. The solid form holding her naked body was all devouring darkness that still felt like cold flesh. “I want to be normal. I want to have a career, a husband, and a family. I want to have what the others have.” She tried to squirm out from under him again, but there was no room to move against the ground. She was at his mercy, but did death hold mercy. “The others are blind. They do not see what is just beyond their reach. You can’t even see it all.” “I want to be left alone,” she whispered. “Then why come to my home. Why not walk around with your eyes shut?” Its face changed again back to Nick’s. She found it easier to face. “Answer me.” 169

RESTLESS SHADOWS “I want to know why. Why do you do it? Are you evil, a demon? What happens? What are you? What is in eternity? What comes next? Who are you to end life?” She felt hysteria taking hold. “I don’t understand your questions.” He kissed her cheek softly. “I will tell you this. If you pursue me then you will face my wrath. Your friend Nick wants to destroy me. He does not realize that to destroy me would destroy life. I can’t let his vengeance do that.” Its body was unbearably cold. She could feel her skin shivering beneath and shut her eyes. “Why did you come to me as my lover?” “You always call to me then run. I thought you wanted to be close to me. Don’t you? Do you long for what I have still?” She didn’t answer. “Besides, I wanted to see what the men went crazy after. I wanted to experience what this version of human interaction felt like. It’s been a long time since I’ve held flesh and I could see no harm in trying to give you pleasure.” “Human.” That word gave away more than it wanted and she knew it. “We scare you, don’t we? You’re scared that we will figure it all out down there.” “Siren, you scare me for what will happen to you. I don’t want to be dissected for your sciences. Leave me be. I have services that must be performed. Each of you will know me soon enough at the end of your times. Don’t come to my home and hurry things. There are no answers for you here.” It shifted again this time showing the black featureless face that she’d seen many times. “I must leave now. I hear the cries of another needing me.” “No. You didn’t answer me.” Its eyes watched her for a minute more. “Are there answers to everything lying around in your world? That’s why you don’t want us there, isn’t it? You are afraid of us. We can solve the riddle of life through you. Admit it.” Its eyes flared, brightly sparking up like glowing flames. Claws splayed wide. One hand pinned her thigh piercing the flesh with its points while the other hand grabbed her 170

RESTLESS SHADOWS chin. The black mouth opened exposing fangs long and white. Its face drew closer and from its gut she heard a growl rise that froze her in terror. “I’m done playing games with you. Don’t disturb me again. Understand? You don’t need what will happen.” Anna felt the anger coming off it in waves that grew harder with its stare. “Understand!” She said nothing only lay there shaking. Shades vanished in the fog that settled on her. Her hand stayed on the floor, feeling the dirt until the gritty substance changed back to the soft carpet. When the fog thinned enough to see, she found herself on the floor of her hotel room. Nick was asleep on the bed. Alone, she let the tears flow in quiet sobs, finding the emotion impossible to deny. Her hand reached down her thigh where a tiny stream of blood ran from the punctures of its claws. The smell of dirt was on her, not just dirt but an icy aged horror. It wafted up from her skin in a thick wave that gagged her. Slowly she crawled to the bathroom. Her body felt dirty, vile. Goose flesh covered her. Shivers from cold and fear kept her from standing. Even her slow crawl was strained, making the reach for the light switch nearly impossible, but she must have the light on, needed to shatter the darkness. Finally she reached it, spilling safety around her. She made it into the bathroom, shut the door, and turned on the water. Standing was impossible. She climbed in the tub and let the shower run while she sat in the bottom hugging her knees. Steam rose around her body thawing it out. Her shivers subsided but her hands still trembled. There was no point in trying to control it. She was exhausted and ashamed. A lifetime of strength and readiness washed away in a few minutes. Its visit destroyed her with an intimate touch and the false face of a lover. The thing planted death inside her. It did much worse, it planted fear. Anna couldn’t imagine facing Shades again. At the moment she couldn’t even face going back into the bedroom. That terrible fog would be waiting for her there, surrounding her. Anything, 171

RESTLESS SHADOWS absolutely anything could happen even lying in the afterglow with her lover. Nothing was safe. Nothing.

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Chapter Twenty-Five Nick woke alone with sunlight streaming through the window next to the bed. He lay there for a moment pushing away the covers and trying to shake off the last remnants of sleep from his eyes. “Anna?” He sat up and looked around the room. The bathroom door was ajar. “Anna?” he asked again. Slowly he rose. The grogginess of morning was gone and a sense of urgency replaced it. “Anna.” He went to the bathroom door. “Honey, are you in there?” He pushed the door open. “What’s wrong? What happened?” Anna was in the tub. The water was off now. The bathroom silent, well lit, and looked sterile with its generic white tile and tub. She was nearly dry, sitting like a child with her feet hugged up against her chest against the wall of the shower. She said nothing to Nick even when he sat on the edge of the tub. She didn’t even look up. “Baby, what’s wrong? Are you sick?” She didn’t move or acknowledge his presence in the room. He reached out to touch her. His hand went to her shoulder causing her to jump and bold white terror to cross her face. She moved away from him pressing herself against the wall. “It’s me Nick. Honey, are you asleep? What’s wrong?” He reached to touch her again. This time she looked intently into his eyes. “Are you sick?” “Nick?” She looked at him again and touched his hand. “I don’t feel well. Could you help me to bed?” “Sure.” He helped her out of the shower then picked her up and carried her back to the room laying her on the bed. “What happened last night? Why were you in there?” 173

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Nick, we can’t go to the catacombs. We just can’t go. Somebody, maybe all of us will die if we do.” Her face turned pasty with the only color underneath her tired eyes. “We’ve come too far to turn back now.” He covered her up with the flower printed blankets and noticed how cold her skin felt. “Is this because of the professor?” “No. I don’t give a damn about him. This is about us, about our survival. I think maybe together, we could have a good life, a normal life, like other people have. I don’t think we need to kill ourselves for this. I don’t think we need to go.” “I have no intention of killing myself, but this is too important to let go. I have to finish this trip. There is no life for me unless I do. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but I have no choice. This has been eating me up inside since I was a kid.” “Why? Because your sister died?” “Yes, damn it because she died. Because she did more than die, she left to save me. I was almost ten and I fucked up. I left the front door unlocked and a man busted in and took her away. I felt like the man of the house even with my older sister around and what did I do. I caused her to get raped and killed. So damn it, that’s why. Are you happy now? How about telling me what brought on the change in you? Are you going to start fessing up about those marks on your wrists or are you going to pretend this conversation never took place?” “Leave me alone,” she spoke in a raspy whisper. “No. We were in this thing together and now you’re bailing. What in the hell happened last night?” Nick didn’t know what to do. Everything was falling apart and she wasn’t willing to tell him why. “We were never in this thing together. You want to kill it. You want revenge. That’s the whole reason for the trip, not for answers or hope. You want to feed on its death.” She turned away from him. “It told me so.” “Shades was here last night? Why didn’t you wake me?” 174

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Because…I….” Her words were troubled, quivering with angry tears. She took a deep breath and tried again. “Because I didn’t know he’d been Shades. I thought it was you.” She fell silent for a moment while her voice steadied. “It pulled me off the bed and took me somewhere. I don’t know. It warned me. It touched me with cold dead hands that looked like yours. I didn’t know until it opened its eyes.” She was fully balling now. “It touched me. I thought it was you, but ... it touched me.” “Shhh. Everything’s going to be okay.” He held her tightly and let her tears flow. “We can’t stop now. Don’t you see that? We’re too close. Everything we need to know is down there.” “It’s my own fault I’m in this mess.” Her voice was quiet in its confession. “I did try to kill myself many years ago. That’s when I met Shades. I’d always seen things a little differently, but that’s when everything changed. It came to take me. It held my hands and waited for me to die. My parents found me and rushed me to the hospital. I’ve seen it ever since.” She looked at him and he knew that his turn for honesty had come. She wanted more than facts about his sister. It was time to explain. Fear wasn’t easy to express in words, especially for Nick. He’d spent a lifetime bottling it up and trying to act strong. Expressing the full extent of his history with Shades made it too real, but he had to try. “As a boy I thought there was this monster, boogey man in the basement. Sometimes the monster lived under my bed or in a closet but usually it stayed in the basement. Everyone made fun of me for it.” He laughed a sad peculiar sound that dropped off to a sigh. “After my sister was found, I wanted to die too. I marched myself down to the basement ready to face the monster head on. I thought it disguised itself and killed Gwen, that was her name. I was sure that somehow going down there would make everything okay again. Nothing had been right since she left. My parents changed, lost their will to live. I thought that I’d let the boogey man in and I must pay for my crime. I went downstairs and saw its eyes glowing under the steps. I ran like hell. Let me tell you, I’ve never been so scared in my entire life. It would’ve gotten me 175

RESTLESS SHADOWS except mom opened the door. Light flooded the steps and I ran right through its hands. I don’t know how, but I went through it. I think it liked messing with me because it knew I could hear it. It understood that I knew about it. If Shades had really wanted me dead, then, well... .” “Wow. That’s quite a story.” “I don’t see things like you do but I saw it that day and I never wanted to see it again.” “I’ve always seen odd things. I don’t know why it started, but it seems like it’s always been there, not Shades of course but odd things I picked up. Sometimes emotions, sometimes things that couldn’t be there.” Anna shivered and pulled the cover up higher. “Gifted huh?” “I wouldn’t call it a gift. It’s no gift to realize that your parents never wanted you. It’s no gift to never belong because you can sense what everyone’s feeling. Most people hate me from the moment they meet me, females at least. Men never completely hate me. They have another whole range of emotions.” “Why did you do it?” He motioned to her wrists. “I had a thousand reasons to die and not one to live. I was an outcast in school. My parents never became close to me, not ever. There was no love there. I was utterly alone in the world with shadows moving, mirrors shifting, and a lot of other things that no one else could believe.” “Utterly alone,” he repeated. “You sound like one of those moody teenager that run around all dressed in black.” “I was one of those. Except my depression wasn’t to cause my parents grief. I honestly felt like there’s so much more after this world that I wanted to rush things along. Hope for something better. Maybe find the truth in all the crap out there. I know it doesn’t make much sense.” “Do you still want to go home and forget this?” “Yes but I can’t anymore than you can.” She laid her head on his chest. “It might kill us you know.” 176

RESTLESS SHADOWS “I know. I wish I didn’t but I do.” He let go of her and slid into bed. “Tell me something. Can you tell what I’m feeling?” She smiled softly and the wet lines in her face vanished. “You’re in love with me, aren’t you? At least for today. You might not be a week from now but you are today. I think that’s enough.” “I think you’re nuts.” “Whatever, creep.” She punched him playfully in the arm and he realized that she was feeling better and that she was right. “Were you in the bathroom all night?” “Just drop it. We’ll see how long you’re in the bathroom when Shades pulls you out of bed for a midnight visit.” The old spark was back in her eyes. “I guess I’d still be in there.” He grabbed her hand and held it. “Everything all right now? I mean, are we okay?” “Yes.” She looked at her wrists. “I don’t appreciate you taking off one of my bracelets.” “I know. I just don’t think that there should be any secrets between us. We’re about to walk into some shit and I want you with me a hundred percent. I don’t want any little hidden weaknesses to come up.” “Same here.” “Then we have a deal.” He glanced at his watch on the table. “It’s getting late. How about we go out for some breakfast?” “Yeah. I want to get out of here. Should we invite Tod?” “Good idea. I want to know what happened with him last night.” Nick sat up and reached for his bag. “Don’t be so nosy. He might not want to kiss and tell.” “He’s a guy. We live for kissing and telling. You just don’t know what I’ve said about you.” He gave her a little wink and she hit him with a pillow. “Last night might get me some awards.” “Not from me.” “You didn’t complain last night.” A pillow smacked him in the head again. “Okay. You win, but you didn’t complain or was the critique hidden in all those moans.” 177

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Let’s go get some food.” Nick got out his razor and headed to the bathroom. “I think you’ve showered enough. I’ll wash off real quick while you get dressed. How long does it take you to put that crap on your wrists.” “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be ready when you get out.” Nick hurried into the shower. It was nice to hear her joking with him again. He didn’t know what he’d do if something did happen to her in the catacombs, but he didn’t believe he could face this thing without her. He finished his shower and came out of the bathroom. The room felt hot, like the heater was running. Anna was fully dressed and sitting on the bed bundled up in a blanket. He didn’t want to say anything about it. That conversation was better left for another time. Still, he wanted to keep an eye on her. She was awfully cold when he found her. Nick put on his pants while watching her. She shivered occasionally but acted fine. “I’m going to run next door and see if Tod wants to go. Will you be all right by yourself?” “Of course.” She rolled her eyes at him as if the question was ridiculous. “Just checking.” He shut the door behind him and went across the hall. He listened for a minute before knocking, not wanting to disturb anything. There was no sound coming from inside so he pecked lightly on the door. When no one answered, he knocked harder. “Just a minute.” The door opened on a ragged looking but feverishly happy Tod who had apparently just slid on his pants but hadn’t managed to fasten them. Behind him, half uncovered was Evette still in bed. “I don’t suppose you two want to go out with us for some breakfast?” “No. I may never leave this room again,” he said with a stupid grin. “Would you bring us back something?” 178

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Sure, man.” There was one question he couldn’t help asking. “Not to be rude, but do you feel like a man now?” Nick play punched him in the chest. “I feel like a king. I think last night I finally understood about half the dirty jokes on campus too. Damn, I didn’t know. I just had no idea. Well, I mean I had some idea but wow.” “Good for you. Now go crawl back in bed. I’ll bring breakfast by in a couple of hours. I’ll knock but if you’re busy, I’ll just leave it by the door. That okay?” “I didn’t think about this morning. Hey, is there something special I’m supposed to say or do the morning after? I mean what happens now?” Tod looked panicked over another detail he hadn’t considered. “Don’t worry about it. You need no advice from me.” Nick walked off laughing under his breath. “Thanks again,” then Tod shut the door. Nick returned to his room and found Anna still shivering from beneath her blanket in a room that felt ninety degrees. The heater was running, cranked wide open. The blue curtains at the window were pulled shut with only one lamp at the night table on basking the room in deep shadows. Her complexion didn’t look healthy either. There was something waxy about it. The pink cheeks and bright eyes were not completely gone, but faded. There was a strange beauty to it, something that wasn't unappealing but different. His body shivered as chills ran up his spine. He realized the problem with her too pale skin, more than waxy and unhealthy looking. It looked dead. “Do you still want to go out to eat?” “Yes. Let me grab a jacket and we’ll go. It’s a little chilly this morning. Don’t you think?” He didn’t think so at all. In fact it felt feverish, humid, and unbearable. Small beads of sweat were already gathering under his arms. His hands felt clammy with sweat and whatever chill he felt vanished in the waves of heat put off by the small wall unit. In seconds it felt more like an oven to him than a room and still she shivered, unaffected by the blanket or the 179

RESTLESS SHADOWS temperature. She was totally untouched by anything tangible, by anything there. He could only imagine what she’d be like in an hour or a day. Then he feared he was watching her die. No she can’t die. Women are just always cold. This will pass. He argued with himself afraid of what that cold could mean, of what it did mean. Even while he thought, the room grew hotter. “Let’s get out of here. I need some fresh air.” He watched her put on her light denim jacket. It moved slightly as her body shivered beneath it. He looked and realized how tiny Anna was, how fragile. Over the past few weeks he’d seen her a hundred different ways from invincible to insane but never fragile. Even when the professor attacked her and she was doped up in the hospital there were no frailties to her body. “Are you sure you feel well? Last night put you through a lot.” “It’s strange but I feel great. I feel electric.” She smiled at him and started to the door. “Electric huh?” He reached out to hold her hand as they went down the long hallway of the hotel. Her skin felt like ice. He gripped it tighter and tried to pretend his heart hadn’t fallen into his stomach. His eyes stayed on the royal blue carpet that ran down the hall. He watched it run out as the hall opened up into the wood floors that became the lobby. When he looked up, an unnatural grayness covered Anna’s face. The pale gray spoke a thousand horrors and Nick wonder exactly what did happen last night. He feared Shades visit held more than a mere threat, but a judgment. Without warning he grabbed her and hugged her against his body. “Anna. I do love you. I always will.” “What’s gotten into you?” He considered telling her, but stopped. If she was to die then let her die happy without worrying over the last minutes that may or may not come. She felt good now and that would keep them both going. It had to. He could hide his fear until she got better or worse. 180

RESTLESS SHADOWS “I just wanted to tell you. I’m sorry.” He kept his arms wrapped around her. He buried his face in her hair and nuzzled her neck. They’d stayed like that for a few moments until an older couple came down the hall and stopped to admire them as if they were some pretty painting instead of living breathing people. Nick reluctantly let go and walked with Anna outside into the street.

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Chapter Twenty-Six Charles was seated on the airplane by two o’clock. His throat burned uncomfortably, making him down one of the small blue capsules the doctor prescribed. A tiny hole, along with several stitches, still marked the incision Anna so crudely made in the bathroom. The hospital recommended he keep it covered until it healed completely. He agreed. There was something unsettling about air going directly into the lungs without the luxury of passing through the protective nose or mouth. Being so directly touched, injected without the normal filters could do no good especially when traveling down into catacombs of rotting matter, dust, flesh and standing bones. He would never imagine being so close to death's image as breathing its remnants into his lungs. He couldn’t wait to get into the catacombs. Last night he called to confirm the trip. Normally the catacombs are opened on weekends and only during the summer tourists' season. They’d agreed to allow this trip, several weeks before they normally open and permit the students to take a less fixed tour. There was even a discussion on going down a tunnel rarely seen where some minor excavating could be done. This trip was the chance of a lifetime and no small injury was going to keep him from it. Of course he knew that Anna would have to be dealt with. Her attack was inexcusable and the incident nearly cost them the trip. He couldn’t do that right away. For his plans both she and Nick would have to be relaxed then the lessons in respect could begin. It shouldn’t take but a day maybe two for their guard to drop. If he was lucky, perhaps he could get them at dinner tonight but that type of luck was rare. They’d have to be extremely drunk or stupid for him to gain their confidence so 182

RESTLESS SHADOWS quickly. He knew Nick was not stupid and he wouldn’t underestimate Anna again. He reached into his jacket pocket. It had been too warm to wear it, but he needed to keep it close to him at all times. His special present lay inside. He touched the smooth plastic bottle sensually. Touching it felt like being a breath away from power, close to the infinite. “Oh my dear what would you think of me now?” He spoke aloud and the passenger next to him looked over warily. Charles didn’t notice. “My wife thinks she can leave me for a college kid. I don’t think so.” “Sir, I am sorry to hear that. Are you okay?” A man wearing a suit and tie with expensive shoes and a locking briefcase leaned over trying to console him. “What?” Charles finally realized that someone was listening to him. “I said that I was sorry about your wife. Your voice sounds a little strange. Coming down with something?” The man sounded more American than Italian or French but a slight indistinguishable accent colored his words. “Slight cold I guess.” His words were hoarse and thick. “I was just thinking about my wife. Bitch. She re-entered my life just to torture me and show off with some little punk. It’s amazing what these women are capable of.” Charles touched his throat gently. “That’s tough. She’s dating a younger man huh?” “Yes. Went on a trip to Paris with him.” Wait a second. How old is my wife. She looks so young with Nick. What was her name again? Lindsey, no that’s not it. “Anna. That’s her name, Anna.” “Pretty name but they all have pretty names, don’t they and pretty asses that drive us wild.” He laughed and slapped Charles on the arm. “My name is Carl Winters. Call me Carl. What’s yours?” “I’m Charles Archel.” Charles was not enthusiastic with a stranger’s attention. 183

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Well, Charlie, this is first class and we need some drinks. Women are always easier to handle when you drink.” He laughed and hit Charles’ arm again. “Yes. I think we do need drinks.” Charles smiled back peculiarly. “Why don’t you order for us while I run to the lavatory.” “Good deal.” Charles got up and went to the bathroom with his jacket in hand. He shut the door, locking it behind. Carefully he took out the bottle and opened it. The powdery contents looked back at him carrying a strange chemical smell with it. He supposed all the ingredients in the rat poison that made it smell that way. It didn’t matter. Very little can be detected over the aroma of alcohol. He shook out a small amount into the palm of his hand, then closed the bottle and placed it back into his pocket. After everything was back in place, he opened the door and returned to his traveling companion that insisted on calling him Charlie. “I hope a gin and tonic is all right.” “Fine. Fine.” He sat keeping his jacket on his lap. “Thanks for the drink. I really needed one.” “No problem. So tell me, are you going after Anna?” “That’s why I’m on my way to Paris. Wow, look at that view. We must be coming over France now.” Carl turned to look out the window. Charles reached over and opened his hand over the glass. Small pale granules dropped down making the tonic fizz. He wasn’t sure exactly what was in rat poison but Cyanide was a major ingredient back home so he assumed it would be one here. “I don’t believe that’s France. We should be there in another minute or so. I’ll nudge you when I see the Eiffel Tower.” “Let’s drink then. Here’s to women, the heartless and the kind.” Charles raised his glass with Carl. “I will drink to that.” He brought the glass to his lips. Charles felt excited at once. His heart raced while slow motion seemed to take hold and the glass started to tilt. An erection started in his pants as the 184

RESTLESS SHADOWS drink went into Carl’s mouth. One sip, then two, half the glass was gone. Charles could feel his cock pulsing in his pants ready to unload. “Drink up my friend,” said Charles anxiously. “Let’s make this flight an enjoyable one.” They raised their glasses again. This time Charles couldn’t watch. His balls felt like they were ready to explode. An orgasm was near but he couldn’t do it there, not next to a man getting ready to die. “I don’t believe it.” Charles looked over to find Carl studying his glass. A small line of white decorated the side and along the edge. His secret game was through. He’d been caught. The man meant to die was going to have him arrested and that would end everything. He would be caught with the evidence on him and no place to run. His erection began to sink slowly. The man wasn’t going to die and he found the news devastating. “Damn it. Would you look at this? They served me a dirty glass. Disgusting.” He hit the call button. “I can’t believe this. I didn’t fly first class to drink after someone else. This is really unprofessional.” “Sure is.” Charles relaxed. He was chalking it up to a dirty glass. “Maybe the alcohol killed the germs.” He laughed but Carl didn’t join in. “This is revolting.” He looked up as a flight attendant approached. Her hair was pulled back letting small curls frame her face. “Miss, this glass is filthy. Take it away and bring me something else.” “I’m so sorry. I’ll bring you something right away.” Her accent was thick and very French. “I certainly hope so,” Carl called after. “I think that glass did give me something. I don’t feel so well.” “Really, what’s wrong?” The erection started again. His game wasn’t finished. It might be possible that he ingested enough before noticing his glass. Carl was breathing hard, nearly gasping for breath. 185

RESTLESS SHADOWS “My head hurts, I don’t feel so good.” Charles’ heart was racing. He wanted to see this man reaching out, wanted to see his eyes flutter while the end seized him. Part of him wanted to reach over and kiss the man while death was on his lips. There was something exquisite about it. The man was climaxing eternally next to him. He would taste existence complete and all because of a drink. The power in that was exhilarating. For a second, Charles imagined that this was what it would feel like to be a god, handing out endings at random and feeling its surge each time. “I’m dizzy as hell. Get me a stewardess.” Suddenly the man reached over and grabbed an airsick bag. All at once he was vomiting uncontrollably. “Relax. I’ll get someone.” He longed to see the man die next to him, wanted to relieve himself during it, but ejaculating there was unthinkable. Charles got up and went to the bathroom. He climaxed while thinking about the man taking his last breaths. His strokes grew longer, harder and when he was finished, he longed to rush out and find the man dead. See the empty eyes that had looked on him while Carl had called him Charlie. He did rush out afterward. Down the aisle was a small cluster of people. They were all looking at his artistry, his creation. Each one held wide eyed admiration for his work while other passengers turned for a glimpse. He felt like screaming, ‘yes I did this, love me’ but he knew that would be absurd. It would be like unmasking a super hero. “Sir, I’m sorry but you’ll have to find another seat. The passenger next to you has become very ill.” A flight attendant with red curly hair stood in front of him. She was heavy, nearly touching both sides of the aisle she walked down. “We have to rush him to a hospital as soon as we land. I believe there is another seat at the front. Please take it.” Hospital? Was it possible that they could save him? He’d never thought of that. They weren’t supposed to save him. He was chosen to die. He’d chosen that bloated over paid 186

RESTLESS SHADOWS businessman to die. It wasn’t fair that they wanted to save him. Didn’t any of them appreciate his work? A flood of nausea overcame him. He ran back to the bathroom, heaving making the stainless steel toilet just in time. Sweat was pouring down his face and he felt his heart beating wildly against his chest. Another wave of sickness hit him, heaving out his breakfast and drink in a sickening gray mix. He stepped in front of the sink and rinsed off his face. Stomach acid was burning his throat. Even his bandage was damp from vomit that couldn’t make it to his mouth. He cupped some water and began drinking it, hoping to ease off the burning. That’s when he looked at his hand. “I poisoned myself.” He hadn’t considered it at the time but rat poison could be taken in through the skin. “Stupid.” He rinsed his face again and realized that he wasn’t nearly as sick as Carl, which probably meant he would be fine. Next time he would have to be more careful. Costly mistakes like that could only happen once. His trial run had been a failure, but he learned something from it. He didn’t want to watch Nick die moments before his own demise. “I’ll be more careful. Don’t worry Lindsey.” He looked at himself in the mirror. His baldhead gleamed in the fluorescent light and he felt wonder in his beauty and brilliance. “I won’t deprive you of both of us. You’ll thank me for this. You’ll fall into my arms and beg me to have you.” He found a seat at the front of the plane next to an elderly lady that spoke no English. There was only commotion behind him. A dozen people were swarming over Carl trying to help. He’d even heard them radio ahead. He didn’t understand the words. French wasn’t something he ever studied, but he imagined the phrase was for an ambulance. There would be people waiting when they landed to save poor Carl’s life with no regards for his place, for Charles’ plan. The insolence was insulting, but he couldn’t say anything. This mild mannered professor had to hide himself until the moment came to claim his wife. He would 187

RESTLESS SHADOWS unmask then and she would fall to her knees at his feet in complete awe.

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Chapter Twenty-Seven Anna sat at the table in La Baracane. Nick sat on one side, Tod on the other like crude bodyguards. The professor was expected any minute, accompanied by the guide that was supposed to take them into the catacombs and around the city. This didn’t bother her. She expected to be terribly upset at being around the man who barged in on her with a knife drawn, attempting to commit rape but those worries passed. Everything bad she felt was gone. The fear of Shades, of losing Nick, everything was gone. The shivers she’d felt earlier also vanished although Nick asked several times how she felt. Honestly, she felt wonderful, but when Nick was near, he felt a bit feverish. The last time he’d touched her hand, it had been terribly uncomfortable. She didn’t worry about it. Nothing was going to bother her. She felt like she was on some incredible miracle drug that made all the fear evaporate. “Honey, are you sure you’re okay?” asked Nick. His hot hand brushed her face with near searing intensity. She pulled away, touching her stinging cheek. “You’re the one I’m worried about. You’re burning up.” Nick looked at Tod who immediately nodded. Slowly Tod reached up and touched her arm. She jumped uncomfortably, then her expression changed to pure shock. A small red place marked the patch of skin he’d come into contact with. “Do I feel hot too?” She didn’t answer. The point was well made. Nick wasn’t the problem. “Would you go to the doctor?” asked Nick. There was concern in his eyes. She found it touching but the idea of seeing a doctor was absurd. 189

RESTLESS SHADOWS “The professor just came in the door. We can discuss this later.” Her voice was calm, neutral. She wanted it to sound that way. It didn’t bother her that her body was so much colder. Her concerns were on the professor. A burning hate rushed into her at the sight of him and suddenly she wished he were dead. He approached the table wearing jeans and a button down shirt. His hair was in that ridiculous ponytail. A suit jacket was thrown over one arm in a casual fold. To top it off, he wore a smile, an affectionate grin like he was greeting old friends. She’d heard the phrase many times, to slap the grin off someone’s face. She understood it and suddenly wanted to rip it off his face, tearing lips and skin away with it. She wanted to see his bones, his naked bare bones. “Hello. I’d like to introduce our guide Jonathan Quervue.” Charles held a hand over to Jonathan. “Nice to meet all of you. You can call me Jon. Let’s see. You must be Tod.” He guessed right. “The lovely lady would be Lindsey. I’ve heard so much about you.” “My name is Anna not Lindsey.” Anna quickly interrupted. She didn’t care much for Jonathan already. His hair was cut short in a military style. There was a disproportion to him. His neck was wide, but his shoulders sloped off more like a female's. He wasn’t very tall with an overly masculine face. There was hard with a deep cleft in his chin and a nearly square jaw line. His clothes looked a little too neat. He wore a three button pull over, buttoned to the top so his neck appeared ready to bust the collar. “My apologies. Charles told me that we were meeting his wife, Lindsey. Anna suits your lovely face far better. I guess you would be Nick.” “Yes. Is you ex-wife flying up here?” Nick asked Charles. “Flying up?” Charles looked dumbfounded and grappled to answer the question. “No. I guess not. That’s right. Her name is Anna.” “I think I’ve got it,” replied Jon. “Shall we eat?” “I’m starved.” They sat down filling the small table. 190

RESTLESS SHADOWS Anna locked eyes with Charles. She didn’t like the introductions. There was something unsettling about Jon getting everyone’s names right but hers. Was it possible that Charles mixed her name up with his ex-wife’s? She didn’t like that implication. If he put her in the same class as this Lindsey then he might try to move in on her again. “Feeling better?” asked Anna. She unconsciously held her butter knife in her hand as she asked. “Charles, you never did tell me what happened to you.” Jon spoke up catching the professor by surprise. “Had a small accident,” his hoarse garbled voice replied. “Got a small neck injury, nothing that could keep me down for long. A few stitches and I’m back like nothing ever happened.” He looked directly at Anna as he spoke. “You must learn to be more careful.” Anna smiled at him. Everyone at the table noticed the malice in the look except for Jon. “Next time you might take your head off. That would be a real shame.” “That won’t be happening. I’ve learned my lesson. I don’t think I’ll even drink wine tonight.” Anna kept a steady watch on him. Then she noticed something strange. The whites of his eyes appeared grayer, dirtier than before. Could it be a leftover tinge from the near fatal accident or was it possible that a new threat on his life seeped inside and ate away at him while he smugly sat there preparing to order? Anna couldn’t be sure of which, but one thing kept coming to mind. Charles drank a lot and that couldn’t be good for the liver. Then she smiled at him again finding new cause to be happy. “That’s good. Very good.” She glanced at a menu that she had no hope of ordering from. “Tod would you order something for me. I have to go to the little girls’ room.” She leaned over to give Nick a kiss on the cheek but waves of heat coming from him changed her mind. She backed away from him and walked toward the bathrooms. 191

RESTLESS SHADOWS The bathrooms were down a narrow hallway to the side of the restaurant. She went down the cobbled floors to the door and went in. Several other women stood in front of the mirror primping their hair and applying fresh coats of lipstick. She went into one of the three stalls that was farthest from them. She never understood how men could piss side by side without any walls to separate them. It was bad enough having to go behind a door cut too small for the opening where anyone could peep inside and see your business. She relieved herself and heard the door open and close. She assumed the duo by the mirror had finally been pleased with their war paint and gone back to their dates. For some reason she had a bitter edge today which was completely opposite from her grand mood. It didn’t make any sense. When she opened the stall door, the bathroom was deserted. She went to the sink and washed her hands. A large mirror brightly lit stood in front of her. Out of habit she watched herself in the mirror washing her hands. “Everything’s fine,” she said to her reflection. “So fucking what if my skin is a little cooler. Absolutely everything is fine.” She turned to dry her hands and notice her reflection didn’t immediately comply. It hesitated as if waiting to see what it had to mimic. Then another thing struck her as odd. Its eyes didn’t reflect back quite right. It was hard to pin point the problem but one definitely existed. Her reflection seemed to stare at her harder, more intensely than her own eyes looked. “I’m not falling for this again, miss twin.” She swelled with confidence and reached her hand up to the mirror waiting to fell the cool glass surface. “Not again.” Her hand met the glass, and then the nightmare happened. More than glass met her touch, but flesh, warm flesh not as hot as Nick’s but clearly more alive than her own. The fingers she imagined on the other side came into reality interlacing her own from the smooth surface in odd ripples as if passing through water instead of a solid substance. 192

RESTLESS SHADOWS She wanted to scream, wanted to run but the twin held her hand and seemed to steal her breath with fear. Anna pulled back and as she did the ripple widened. More than just fingers came through, a hand and next, worst of all came a face. Her face rippled up through the reflective waters. Her mouth, her nose, and her eyes except these eyes didn’t look back with the horror of emotion. They didn’t feel like running, or screaming. The eyes that looked at her were calm, certain and in that certainty Anna felt more horror than she’d known facing Shades. She was looking at herself except this one didn’t understand fear. This one caused it. “You’re losing yourself, Anna.” The twin was close to her face making her words carry a familiar scent of cinnamon. Anna turned her head from the twin that was close enough to kiss her. She couldn’t stand looking into those eyes, strange but knowing. Her heart thudded wildly in her chest and whatever good feeling she carried throughout the nightmare vanished. “If you go, there is no hope.” Riddles that made no sense came from the twin. Anna stayed at arms length from the other, but still it came out of the mirror. Its clothing washed away at the edge of the glass leaving the twin’s body naked and very white as if it had never seen one moment of sunlight. “Please listen.” The twin grabbed her neck with the other hand and began dragging her back to the sinks. “It’s a game Anna. Don’t lose yourself to it.” “Wha...What?” Was all Anna could say and suddenly she wished those two women were back in there primping. “You’re soul is growing cold.” Anna’s body was pressed tightly against the sink. Her head still was being pulled toward the glass. Her twin was almost back inside with only its arms protruding. She was afraid the other would pull her inside, trade places. A thought came to mind of the evil twin and her standing in front of her mirror at home when 193

RESTLESS SHADOWS it shifted and her asking which one was it really. Which one was the evil one? She didn’t want to know. Her head was an inch from the glass. She pulled with everything she had, but couldn’t break the twin’s hold. Finally she found the mirror’s surface. For a moment it gave and she felt the thick liquid surface on her head, running down her face. The next second the door opened and smooth cold glass greeted her. She stumbled back against a door on the stall. The lady was shocked and began speaking quickly in French. She rushed over to Anna still talking. Anna couldn’t make any sense of it. She only saw a blur of purple from the ladies dress. “I’m all right.” Anna managed, but the words didn’t come out clearly. It didn’t matter the lady couldn’t understand them if they did. When Anna’s vision cleared, she saw a lady in her late forties with short curly hair and very expensive clothing standing over her. The stranger helped Anna to her feet and took her back to the sink. At first Anna was reluctant, but the panicky sounds of the stranger helped her to comply. She reached the white porcelain and looked at her reflection. It appeared normal except for a small line of red running down her face. She reached up and found blood from a cut in her head along the same line that reached inside the mirror’s edge. The wound wasn’t very deep but blood flowed rapidly out of the incision. “Vous devez aller a l’hopital.” The lady was trying to look at Anna’s head and kept repeating, “l’hopital.” Anna thought she heard the word hospital. She couldn’t bear to go into a place like that now, not with Shades gliding around her taking lives a few feet away. She rinsed her face and heard the lady repeating her cries of worry. When she looked up again the reflection held those same concerned eyes as it had before the twin emerged. This time they held more than the unnatural glaze. An edge of anger tinted them, perhaps at the failed attempt at abduction. The lady's reflection started studying her too with eyes as black as coal that couldn’t keep up with the original’s 194

RESTLESS SHADOWS frantic movement. Anna decided to leave before the next kidnapping turned into a joint effort. “Thank you. Um... Merci. I’m better now.” Anna took a piece of tissue and dotted her head with it. The bleeding had almost stopped. “Merci. I have to get back to my friends now. You’ll never know how grateful I am that you showed up.” She glanced back at the mirror and thought she saw her reflection wink a silent knowing as if it would visit her again. She rushed out of the room and back down the narrow hall. Everyone was seated at the table sipping drinks. She took a deep breath. Inside her body trembled, but she couldn’t let any of them see that, especially the professor. It was time to be strong and pretend that things like that didn’t happen. Mirrors didn’t open up and try to swallow you while rattling off riddles. That just couldn’t happen. She tried another deep breath, but it came out broken with the onset of tears. A single one escaped her eye. She knew what happened. There was no point in denying it and if the stranger hadn’t shown up she might not exist at all. Facts were facts even if she couldn’t face them for fear her sanity would break apart completely. All she wanted at the moment was to get through this dinner and back home. That would only take a couple of hours maximum. She could hold it together for two hours. After that anything was up for grabs, but for now she could act normal. “Where’s that great buzz now?” She considered the wild feeling of euphoria she’d experienced earlier and wished it would return. You’ll be fine, she thought. You can do this. She returned to the table and took her seat. Nick immediately picked up that something was wrong. She could tell by the look on his face and the careful way he looked at her. His hand reached over to touch hers. It felt hot, but didn’t burn. She was glad for that. She wanted to be glad for something.

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Chapter Twenty-Nine Around midnight Anna and Nick settled into bed. There was no romance between them tonight. Conversation became equally sparse. Nick didn’t understand why. Her coldness earlier gave way to an attitude nothing like the girl he’d met in North Carolina. Her speech and actions were completely foreign to him. She hadn’t been scared or nervous at the professor’s presence but seemed charged, angered by it. Only after her visit to the bathroom had a little of the old Anna emerged. “You’re feeling warmer. I’m glad.” He spoke quietly in the darkness, more to himself than to Anna. She had been quiet for several minutes making him wonder if she was asleep. “You had me worried.” She didn’t respond. That didn’t mean she was asleep though. Her responses were few and far between. The only stimulating conversation he’d gotten out of her was more of a demand for him to put a sheet over the mirror. He asked her for a reason but she bottled up again. “I can’t wait to see the catacombs tomorrow. I’m a little surprised the professor wanted to go there so quickly. I wonder if we’ll see anything. Do you think it lives there?” He left an opening, but only silence followed. “Are you afraid?” She shifted, pulling away from him in the darkness, and then a voice so strange came from her that Nick pushed back, nearly falling out of bed. “Shades lives there and we’d be stupid not to be afraid. Were all going to die there. Aren’t you afraid of death Nick?” He reached for the light and illuminated the room. “Anna?” He wanted to see her face. Nothing felt right anymore. He needed to be sure that was Anna really lying in bed next to him and not 196

RESTLESS SHADOWS some mythical creature that survived legend and nightmares. He expected Shades to be lying there with him, glowing eyes and syrupy body wrapping around him in the dark. “What?” “What in the hell has happened to you?” He pulled away the cover and saw that it was Anna lying next to him. He doubted it for a moment, nearly hoped that it wouldn’t be her, that somewhere his sweet lovable lady existed, hidden away from the cold monster that lay in bed with him. “You don’t sound like yourself, you’re not acting like yourself. What is going on?” “You think I’m losing myself too? Well, fuck both of you. I feel better now than I have in years.” “What are you talking about? Who are both of you? Are you talking about Tod and me? Did he say something to you?” She didn’t answer. He tried to roll her over to look at her face. He needed to make sure Shades wasn’t playing a trick on him. She wouldn’t budge. Panic began to set in. He felt alone. The woman he’d counted on as being his support wasn’t in this bed, but something else was. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore.” “Please don’t say that.” This time he didn’t gently try to roll her. His hand jerked her body around to face him. “Tell me what’s going on!” “I can’t.” Her eyes met his. “I don’t know anymore. Please, don’t hate me tonight, not tonight. Let’s just sleep.” She rolled over putting her back to him. “I need to know that we’re in this thing together. I need to know what’s changed.” “Nothing’s changed,” she spoke with tears in her voice. “I’m just mourning our lives, our deaths.” “They’re not over. This thing isn’t going to win.” He waited for a response but none came. “I don’t want you going if this is your attitude.” “I’m still your back up, I’m worried that’s all. Can’t you leave me alone tonight? I know that one or two of us may make it, but death is in the air. I can smell it.” Her voice grew stronger, 197

RESTLESS SHADOWS but returned to that strangeness. “I’m not myself tonight. I’m tired. Let’s sleep.” Nick didn’t say anything else. There would be no point in continuing and he didn’t want to try. Sleep would be better than listening to her strange prattle. He didn’t need it. Things would be difficult enough without her reminders of what could happen. The world was filled with coulds and ifs. A man made his choice, maybe not the boogey man, just a mortal psycho. A boy doesn’t understand the difference, but Gwen’s life had been taken all the same. Lives are not taken and families destroyed without any explanation. There needed to be a reason. Deep inside he was a logical man. Logic explained everything. It could explain this. He’d never believed in anything imaginary before, not even at ten years old. The boogey man was not imaginary and that meant it could be stopped or at least offer a reason. Imaginary creatures don’t bust in the door and drag people away, to leave there last moment for newscasters after the next headline to entertain America. He considered for a moment the irrational behavior in chasing death. There was always the chance it would turn around and let the pursuer catch it. It wasn’t exactly like wanting to climb a mountain, or jump from a plane. He was no daredevil. He needed answers not a thrill ride. Please, he thought, let my nightmares end with this. Let me be whole again. **** Anna listened to the change in Nick’s breathing. He’d fallen into a troubled sleep. She closed her eyes in the darkness and waited as sleep crept over her. The atmosphere changed slowly. She’d been expecting it. She sensed it from her dreams the moment it thickened cold and dark. A smile crossed her lips as the sheet shifted above her, lifting from her naked body then settling back with a sheen of icy frost. They stayed together like that, one on the other in an intimate embrace. It formed, not into Nick, but a more solid black creature. Its touch went to her cheek, trailing down her throat and shivering 198

RESTLESS SHADOWS her body. Anna arched upward to its touch as it found her breasts, tickling and sliding downward. “No. Not yet,” she murmured in her half wake world. “I have more treats in store for you. I will show them to you down below. Be ready.” Its mouth found her, kissing her with icy pleasures. She parted her lips letting its kiss ebb in and out of her mouth. For a moment she thought it would enter every orifice, every poor and fill her completely in more than any mortal sexual act could. As subtly as it had entered the room, it vanished along with the haze of sleep. Part of her felt revulsion over the thing touching her again, but she also felt good about it, drugged in its embrace. “Tomorrow should be interesting. Very interesting.”

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Chapter Thirty In the darkness down below the city rested the Shades. Behind a sealed wall, after the miles of bone lined tunnels it waited, spreading itself out like a blanket and listening for final calls of souls. Its claws vanished into nothingness against the dirt floor. Its blackened body held no form, no face. There was no need. Tonight had been slow. It considered paying Anna another visit, but that would do no good except to torture her. Shades derived no pleasure from torture. The three of them would arrive tomorrow with his special friend Charles and some stranger. Tomorrow their lessons would begin and lives would end. It supposed that voiding such young souls was a shame, but he did not make the choice. They did. Anna was especially close to it, feeding from it like a nursing child from mother’s tit. Shades enjoyed their special connection. There were shared thoughts between them. Some so private Anna didn’t dare acknowledge them. Her conscious mind over rode her true feelings for the traditional. It was a constant struggle and one it didn’t understand. She kept denying her deepest being. Still there was pleasure in their connection. Her suckling grew so that she wanted to see the dimness in people, needed to see Shade’s handiwork as a reminder of his ever present force in her life. This was something she couldn’t admit, but Shades knew it. Shades knew her intimately. From the moment she was born, her soul leaned toward death, the darker notes in life. As a teen it nearly had her, holding her like a lover in the night as she bled orgasmicly over the floor and into its dark depths.

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RESTLESS SHADOWS Shades felt pleasure in the memory. The thought of her pale wrists held by its darkness, letting her life flow in streams and uniting with it. The memory was beautiful. She’d grown into a splendid woman, but not maturing on both sides. The weaker part grew stronger than the darkness, leaving her half a woman and not a suitable companion. Shades watched her many times, taking all the precautions it could to preserve its secret surveillance. Many times she covered up with Shades, not seeing it hiding beneath her quilts and sheets. Shades found it surprising when so many others became intrigued with her. It stalked her like a lone admirer until the boys came after her. Nick seemed very fond of her and she held emotion for him. There was Charles, who had a great deal of want for Anna. He carried with him many thoughts dark and vulgar, but some pleasing. He was an arrogant, but intelligent mad man. The combination would make him a useful tool. In the morrow they would come. Hiding had been an option. It could easily hide from them among the bones and skulls, but pride and curiosity kept it from doing such a lowly thing. In many ways he wanted the confrontation. He could take Anna and remove the presence of the other men in her life. Charles would take care of Nick and Tod would be no problem. It could lift Anna where no human had gone before. She could see eternity from its view. Watch life from the outside. She could see Shades beauty there. She could appreciate it there. Suddenly the formless mass took shape. Sounds on the wind called it from its resting place to a country thousands of miles away. Its slow night changed with the move of one insanely desperate man attached to a bomb in a hotel where American tourists visit. There was much work to be done. It thinned, then vanished into the cold darkness moving faster than light, faster than the darkness.

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Chapter Thirty-One The opening for the catacombs sat inside a pavilion at Denfort-Rochereau. A small concession sold candles to visitors that would descend into death’s gloom. Jon led the way, lighting his candle before the entrance near the statue of the lion of Belfort. Each of them did the same, following first Charles, with Nick behind him, Anna, then Tod bringing up the rear flashing his camera as pictures clicked off in rapid succession. “Ready everyone?” asked Jon. They nodded. They descended a narrow stairway. Stone steps lined with heavy shadows spread around them, broken by the candles flame. Nick couldn’t help thinking of the levels of hell, Dante’s trip into the nether world and how it started by leaving woods and eventually passed through the heart of hell, locked in not fire but ice. Ice locked captors within for eternity. His trip started far more pleasant than this dusty dirty passage sixty feet into the ground to visit relics of man. This trip had been filled with hope that died in the tired breath of Anna. He wondered if she was right about this being a suicidal venture. Was there really no hope for losing his demons? Would they follow him to the grave and into the beyond, haunting him for eternity in a lasting vision of guilt, drifting to him in his sisters dying eyes? “Watch your step,” called the guide. “We’re almost at the bottom.” The darkness wouldn’t forfeit and seemed to close in against the candles flickering dance. Weird shadows moved silently back and forth against dirt and stone walls making the carriers come together in a tighter circle as the shadows appeared more anonymous, less created and very real, alive in their movement, separate from whatever life started their dance. 202

RESTLESS SHADOWS They stopped descending and came to a short tunnel that marked the true entrance into this silent world. A sign marked the way ‘Arrete, c’est ici l’Empire de la Mort.' It stood, foreboding as Jon read the line in French then translated the ominous threat. “Stop, here lies the Kingdom of Death.” Nick felt like stopping there. Something did lie ahead. He could feel it in the air, in the shadows that threatened to engulf them at any moment. Shades was here. This trip was going to take them into the mouth of the beast and into the gullet to show them what digested there. “We will continue. Please be careful. Some of the tunnels get narrow.” Jon started ahead with each of them continuing in a single file. They entered the catacombs. Piles of human bones lined the walls. The candles flame created life in the shadows between the parts, giving them near movement. Skulls, legs, arms, and a variety of disposed body parts were stacked to the ceiling. A sign is hung on the bone wall displaying where each mass of human remains came from. There were no names, no flowers, or loving mementos from those that promise to remember them always. Any loving engravings or thoughts were vacant from this world. In this world they would be silly, childish idolatry. There was no need to remind the dead of the living. The living held no place among the dusty bones in stacks beyond human comprehension. In these tunnels, death reigned. All that existed were miles of bones stacked like lumber against the walls. Flesh, living skin is unnecessary, pointless. Thin clothing tossed aside from the structure for comfort. A part that became useless, a foolish disguise that the soul no longer needed when its temporary status ended and eternity began. “How far does this go?” asked Tod. “How many are here?” “There are acres of them here. When the cemeteries spilled over they were stacked up without names or markers. They were lost. The signs on the piles signify the cemetery. Nothing more. There was no way to distinguish them.” 203

RESTLESS SHADOWS “How sad,” spoke Anna’s voice softly from the blackness. Her face was illuminated, but the rest of her body blended into the shadows. “Markers are for the living.” Nick remembered his grandmother’s funeral. A lot of people showed up bawling and carrying on, but most of them hadn’t spoken to her in ten years. They were the people that read obituaries every morning to see who’d died, but never bothered with the person until then. It was as if their lives weren’t as important as their deaths, who they were not as significant as how they went out. “People love a show,” he thought aloud. There were flowers, refreshments, people dressed up, and everyone talking for the show. Most of them went home more concerned with how relatives changed or what some curvy woman wore. Then there would be the standard, ‘wasn’t it lovely.’ He never thought funerals were lovely, despite his obsession with the end. They seemed tacky. Dressing up a dead corpse, piling flowers around, all so some people can talk better in death about someone they that hardly knew in life. “I would like to be remembered after I die.” Anna moved to the side spreading light over a pile of long bones from legs and arms. “I wouldn’t want to be forgotten, or left to rot without anyone knowing who I was.” “Then we should do something worth remembering.” Nick touched her arm and noticed the chilled skin had returned. “Where is the new tunnel?” asked Charles. “Further up and to the right along the older end. They usually don’t let tourists go into that area, but they gave permission and even spoke of you taking a sample.” “I’ll let our graduate Nick do the honors.” “Tomorrow we’ll return for the opening of the recent discovery. They have a few blocks removed and should be digging today. It should be quite an honor to be the first ones inside this burial chamber.”

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RESTLESS SHADOWS “Do they have any guesses as to how big it is?” Nick couldn’t help being curious. They’d traveled thousands of miles with very little to show for it. “No. They found it a few months ago when a teenager supposedly got inside and became lost. A small crawlway was found. They’ve brought down electric lights to work by. We should be approaching them soon. They are very afraid of fire down here. This far, it would be hard to get out so when we get to them please blow out your candles.” They continued on in silence with only the sound of their feet marking the way and the occasional scurrying of a rat. It smelled old there, dirty, and enclosed. Nick believed that this was the true smell of death. Not the rotting matter that catches the wind and blows putrid smells into the car from a dead animal killed on the road, but the smell of an old basement. Then he shuddered. He couldn’t forget the creature he’d faced as a boy. From the moment he opened the basement door, it was there wafting up secrets he couldn’t understand. Occasionally he found it lingering under his bed as if part of the basement crawled up under him during the night. The scent that grew worse somehow after his sister had gone. The scent matched this place perfectly. “How much further?” he asked as they turned the corner. No one answered him. He feared that they would be swallowed up and forgotten. Shades last trick could be for them to walk into their graves, willingly into the eternal darkness. There would be no opening, nothing else but milling around in bones and watching the shadows come to take them. Another hundred feet and the work crew came into view. They were all relieved to see light ahead. Large square lights set upon steel poles stretched fifteen feet high destroying the shadows. A few men, dressed in dirt covered jeans and short sleeved work shirts, were to the side swinging picks and shoveling out dry earth into wheelbarrows. A wall of soil and rock was slowly giving way. Half of it gone, giving a peak into a darkness deeper than the tunnels. No one could see what was inside. The light wouldn’t carry that far. 205

RESTLESS SHADOWS “This place was used during the French underground resistance movement. Long before then in 1786 the archbishop consecrated it. The catacombs started by rock being removed to build the city. The use for the caves was found later. There are some very famous people here Madame d Popedour for one, but no one is sure what bones are whose.” Jon’s neck bulged as he spoke and Nick thought that he looked strangely like a soda bottle getting ready to pop. Nick looked around for Anna. She stood near one large wall with skulls mixed in lines like wallpaper boarder. She was studying something. There was no look of horror or dread but something clearly held her attention. “What is it?” he asked trying to see over her shoulder. “There are teeth marks on some of these bones.” She pointed at what appeared to be a femur. Gnaw marks were on the side of the bone showing. Bits were chipped, splintered away along the middle in rough gouges. “Rats,” he thought immediately of the plague and decided how ironic that the animal that killed so many would use them as food, gnawing into human remains without worry, if rats could know what they were chewing on. They probably couldn’t, but it still made him think of thousands of eyes watching him, hoping for a fresh meal. “You think rats did that?” She didn’t look at him. “Didn’t you hear them when we got down here, the moving sound ahead of us. I think they were rats. Those little rodents have probably lived here for centuries.” “Are you sure a rat can gnaw into bone?” She looked up and down the wall searching for any other signs. “They can gnaw on everything else, why not bones? I imagine they get pretty hungry this far underground. It’s not a prime spot for leftovers and from the sounds we heard there are quite a few to feed.” “Thanks for the thought.” “Have you seen anything else?” He lowered his voice. 206

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Nothing yet. I don’t understand it. I thought as soon as we came down here all hell would break loose but there’s nothing.” There was an unmistakable disappointment in her voice. “Maybe Shades isn’t here. Maybe we’ve gotten this thing all wrong.” “Maybe that’s what Shades wants us to believe. Besides, lots of people tour this place every year. I doubt any of them ever see anything besides human framework. We’ll have to stick it out a little longer to find our answers.” He sounded more confident than he felt. “I guess so. I just hope we find them.” “Nick, come here a moment, will you?” called the professor. He stood by the men digging, looking at something they shoveled into the wheel barrel. Nick walked up and looked at the dirty object. At first glance it looked like a stone that had been cut into during the digging. Second glance told him differently. It had been part of a pelvis, sheered off from the rest. Charles handed him a small brush. Nick knocked away the dirt, wondering why Charles was taking such care after having the piece dug up with a large shovel and tossed aside. It was part of the pelvic girdle but the point where it was disconnected from the pelvis wasn’t from a shovel. The point of separation was marked with the same kind of teeth marks Anna had pointed out to him earlier. “Tell them to stop digging.” Nick picked up the piece and held it up to the light. “Tell them to stop,” he repeated. “Arret. S’il vous plait arret.” Tod spoke up, getting a look of disgust from Jon. “What do you make of these marks?” Nick handed the bone to the professor. “Looks like that is where the shovel broke it off from the rest.” “I don’t think so. Then the mark would be smooth or splintered. This looks like rats have had it.” One of the workmen approached Jon and whispered something into his ear. Jon turned back to the professor with jaws tight and eyes wide. “Sirs, I don’t mean to be rude but the men 207

RESTLESS SHADOWS need to get back to work. One broken bone means little here. Millions of bones line these walls. What’s so important?” “This one wasn’t piled with the rest, but buried.” Charles remarked first. “It could predate all these. There might be a complete skeleton buried.” “Charles, there are thousands of complete skeletons here. The men are taking a break, but they will be back on the job soon and I don’t want you to interrupt. You should take it as an honor that you are here and stay out of the way.” Charles looked at the group then back to Jon. “I apologize.” Charles didn’t sound repentant. “We will stay out of the way.” “Thank you. You Americans are certainly strange. Did you know that at one time bones were simply dropped down a chute? There are probably many bones mixed in whatever loose earth they could sink into. Don’t make so much out of it.” “A chute?” asked Nick. “The shaft still exists.” Jon smiled again. “Maybe I’ll show it to you before you leave the country.” “Where is it?” “Above ground, it is at twenty-one and a half avenue du Parc Montsouris.” Jon sat down on a makeshift box chair that the crew brought down. “Paris has quite a history when it comes to burial. Workmen were commissioned and carted the remains to their new ground. It seems there has always been too many dead and not enough room. At one time they would dig large holes thirty feet deep, fifteen feet wide and long where bodies were laid side by side. A thin layer of earth covered them, and then another line of bodies until the hole was full. They would leave it open until the hole was completely full letting bodies fester in the sun if an entire row couldn’t be made. Needless to say, things didn’t smell so sweet in Pari. But then death was a big business so clergymen propaganda the fact that people must be buried on holy ground. The closer to the church the better so it took some time to correct the problem. That is why so many bodies were moved without knowing who they were.” 208

RESTLESS SHADOWS Nick quit listening. He’d read up on Parisian history and the man was not the least bit interesting. Every time he spoke, the veins in his neck stood out like a tourniquet was around his throat instead of a shirt collar. His heavy square jaw didn’t help. It simply added to the out of proportion look. Nick couldn’t watch any longer. He turned his attentions to Anna who stayed quietly away, watching her bone pile. By her feet was a small shadow, splitting the harsh light on the floor. Pure chance helped him see it. No one else was paying attention, not even Anna. The shadow looked snake like slipping from beneath the bone wall. Nick started back to her. There was something menacing in the shadow where one shouldn’t be. Before he made it back, the snake wrapped around her foot and went up into her pants leg. “Anna,” he said surprising her. “What’s wrong?” Again she didn’t look up, only studied the scrapings on the bones in front of her. “I just saw something run up your leg.” He immediately bent down examining her foot and frisking her legs. “What!” She jumped back, pushing him away, and looking around her body. The exclamation grabbed everyone’s attention. Tod, who was next to Charles turned, then Jon and finally their professor. One of the diggers also looked up from his cup to see what was the matter. “What’s wrong?” asked Charles hurrying to her side like some tardy hero. She looked at Nick then back at Charles. “Nothing. Nick was teasing me about the rats down here.” “Let’s leave the childish pranks for our own country.” He shot Nick a warning look and returned to Jon. “There are a great deal of rats in these catacombs,” started their overly knowledgeable guide. “Wouldn’t want to fall asleep around here. Something might start dining.” He laughed heartily in thick waves.

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RESTLESS SHADOWS Nick took Anna’s arm and walked with her to the edge of the light’s reach. He didn’t want to go beyond that. The darkness looked too complete, too encompassing from the lighted circle. “Do you feel anything?” he asked. “No.” She looked at her legs then checked the floor again. “I’m fine. What exactly did you see?” “I saw something on the floor by your feet. I came up to warn you then it ran up your leg. Are you sure you’re all right?” He wasn’t positive about what he’d seen but, under the circumstances, he didn’t want to chance it. “Fine. I didn’t see anything.” Her tone was skeptical. “I’m serious. I think I saw something run up your leg.” He went to his knees and ran his hands up her calves again. “Well, whatever it was, it’s gone now. Let’s get back to looking around. I want to check this place out.” “No, wait.” A flood of desperation came over him. “Take off your pants.” “What?” She shook her head and started to walk back to the section of bones she’d been examining. He grabbed her arm and stopped her. “Take off your pants. We have to be sure its not there.” “I am not taking off my pants in the middle of a dirty bone filled graveyard around a bunch of men. This is ridiculous. If something ran up my leg I would’ve felt it.” She pulled her arm away. “Whatever.” He didn’t need to argue with her. He could’ve mistaken a shadow. The sudden change from dark to light could distort his vision. She was the one who saw things clearly, more easily. If Shades were ready to harm her then it would’ve done it earlier. It's not like it didn’t have the chance. He rejoined Charles who wore a peculiar look on his face, like a madman with an idea. Charles turned away from Jon who looked puzzled and started after him. “What do you mean I’m fired?” asked Jon. “What’s the problem here? I have many days events planned.” 210

RESTLESS SHADOWS “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel your serviced are required. I hope you understand. This is a school trip and I need to conserve our costs. It was very nice of you to bring us down here, but I think we can find our way alone next time.” “Sir, you do not know what you are saying. People have become lost here. It is a terrible thing to hear the rats when you’re not sure which way is out.” “Your concern is appreciated, but I’m afraid my decision stands.” Charles grabbed Tod and Nick by the arm and continued up to Anna. “Come children. It’s time for us to leave. We will grab some lunch and come back to check on the diggers’ progress. There are a few phone calls I need to make.” “We’re leaving already?” asked Anna. “But there’s so much more to see.” “We will return later. Besides tomorrow is the big day. Tomorrow we get to enter a tunnel unseen by man for a hundred years or more.” He gave her arm a tug. “Hurry up. The sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can get back. I must make my calls, quickly.” “Who do you have to call?” This time he didn’t answer Anna. Nick followed along behind Charles, lighting his candle at the edge of the circle of light. There was no point in discussing it with him. Charles still held the look of a lunatic. It made Nick glad to enter the darkness where those strangely excited eyes and twisted grin could disappear into the nothingness. That look frightened him a little. It looked like a man with everything to gain and nothing to lose. Men like that were dangerous and he proved himself menacing before in his increasing insanity. Nick realized that it was true. Charles had been slowly getting worse. At school he’d been perverted, strange acting but not until Italy were any dangerous incidents. In France he seemed to know better. He was carefully guarding himself, not letting any hints of his thoughts or feelings escape. He was working something out, planning. 211

RESTLESS SHADOWS At the entrance, sunlight pierced their eyes with harsh intensity. Nick couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be down there for more than a few hours. Normal daylight felt bombarded his brain with painful bursts of searing rays. “Who are you going to call?” Anna asked for the second time and was again ignored. Nick took her arm and shook his head trying to tell her that it was pointless to pursue the conversation. Whatever game Charles was playing, they would have to wait it out. “There’s a phone over there. You kids get some food and meet me back here in thirty minutes.” Nick couldn’t understand why Charles kept referring to them as kids. He’d noticed a new condescending attitude developing. More bothered Nick than the comment, but the way he refused to discuss the itinerary and those damn phone calls. Exactly who he was calling was driving Nick a little crazy. Their guide had been fired and everything was in this madman’s hands with them having nothing to say about it. Their responsibility was eating so his children would stay out of the way while he planned any number of things. “What do you think this is about?” asked Anna. She stood in place watching Charles cross the street to the phone booth at the corner. “I have no idea, but it isn’t good. He’s too wired,” Nick answered. “I don’t like this.” “I caught that too,” said Tod. “He’s excited about something.” “What happened to make him fire Jon?” Nick’s started asking the questions. He’d walked up halfway through the conversation and missed the excuse for Jon’s dismissal. “I’m not sure.” Tod started looking around for a place to eat then led them up the street. “One minute everything’s fine. The next Charles gets this crazy look and fires Jon. There was no reason for it. They didn’t even get into an argument.” “Do you think we can go back down without him? I didn’t get to find anything.” Anna’s face grew a ghastly pale. 212

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Probably not. Permission was given to him. We’re screwed.” “Great, just great.” Anna broke ahead of them, walking quickly to a food stand. Nick hung back with Tod. “Did you guys see anything?” asked Tod. He checked his watch then glanced back at the professor direction. “Not much. I thought I saw something run up Anna’s leg. Would you help me keep an eye on her? It was nothing I’m sure, but I’d feel better with two sets of eyes on her.” “Sure. No problem. I’d watch Charles though. There are more than two sets of eyes on her if you know what I mean. He’s been going over her since we got together this morning. Even when he was speaking to Jon his attention was on Anna.” “I hadn’t noticed. Thanks, man.” Nick turned to check on Charles. They were a half a block a way and he was hopelessly out of sight lost in the crowd. In thirty minutes he’d be back though and this terrible guessing game would continue. Nick felt locked in a game of chess, waiting to see the other’s move to determine his strategy. Damn, he hated this. They finished their sandwiches at the corner while waiting on Charles. Nick looked at the crowds on the sidewalk going by and watched traffic swerve in and out. People shuffled passed without paying them any attention, without caring about their plans, who the strangers on the corner were or what they were going to do. It was a strange sensation, like watching a play and waiting for your cue to step from the curtain onto the stage. His gaze continued over to Anna. Her hair was pulled loosely back in that way she fixed it nearly every morning. There was a quiet elegance to her. Upon closer inspection, Nick found something out of place. Her body was slumped, not tall in perfect posture, as he’d seen her before. Something else was wrong with her eyes, but he couldn’t figure out what. “Anna, is everything okay?” He came closer and noticed a smell, the scent of the catacombs, the earthen closed choked air around her. 213

RESTLESS SHADOWS “You ask me that a lot. I don’t see why you make such a fucking big deal out of me. I’m fine, everything is fine now, why don’t you pamper baby boy over there.” She rolled her eyes and turned to the street. Nick looked at Tod whose face came up in acknowledgment. He’d heard her. Nick was sure of it. It also seemed clear that Anna didn’t care that he’d heard. She shrugged her shoulders and went on looking into the crowd. There was no remorse. “Tod, can I talk to you for a second.” Nick took him by the arm and walked back towards the sandwich shop out of hearing range. “Got any ideas about what’s gotten into her.” “None.” Tod looked hurt, but the expression faded into worry. “She’s getting weirder by the minute.” Nick turned to watch her. She was acting differently and each passing moment made it worse. Her body turned in a sultry stance with legs parted and a shoulder pressed against the metal light pole. One hand was behind her. The other lay lifelessly against her side. Her face had contorted into a cold arrogant stare that forced the bustling pedestrians to give her a wide berth. “It’s the catacombs. It’s Shades.” “Shades?” Tod stepped in front of Nick to face him. “Are you sure? Do you think it has something to do with what ran up her leg?” “I don't know. I wish I had some answers. The only thing I’m sure of is that this thing is building into something monstrous. Look at her….” “There’s the professor,” interrupted Tod. Nick turned and started back to Anna, arriving nearly at the same time as the professor. Anna didn’t look at either one as they approached. Charles did. Nick saw him looking over Anna hungrily, nearly drooling as he reached the walk. His gaze broke and met Nick’s when the two were within a few feet of each other. There was a shocked look on the professor’s face as if he’d been busted. 214

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Hi, Nick. I’ve got some great news.” The excitement was back in his eyes, the look of a kid in a candy store. Nick hadn’t seen it since the bone trip in Italy. “Everyone back to the hotel to pack. The city is permitting us one night down there before they finish tearing into the new tunnel. They’ll allow us to bring up samples as long as they are inspected first. Isn’t that wonderful?” “Down there all night?” Tod was the first to voice his concern. “There’s rats and who knows what down there. It’s not safe and you fired our guide.” “We won’t get lost. Day or night shouldn’t matter sixty feet below the ground. It’s not like the sunshine can even reach the first steps.” Nick didn’t say a word, neither did Anna. Nick was afraid to go, but whatever was going to happen, day or night wouldn’t stop it. In fact, the sooner they found their answers and ended this trip the better. Anna was not herself. Going back to America and whatever normalcy they could find might be the only cure. Even after the startling news, she just stood there with an expression of near hate coloring the usually sweet cheeks. She was changing, degenerating before his eyes and he had no idea of how to help her except to run like hell. “I’m not going.” Tod was immersed in his discussion with the professor. “Something’s not right and I’m not going. All of you can climb under the ground if you want to. I’ve got better things to do than risk my life.” He turned angrily and started back up the street. The professor went after and grabbed him before a dozen steps separated the two men. In one swift motion, the two were face to face. A smile stayed on the professor's lips and the excited eyes held with a near murderous energy. “I’ll have to notify the school that the baby wants to go home.” “Take your hands off me. I can go wherever I want and I want to stay in this city. I’m sure the school won’t mind as long as they get their donation, unless you want to ruin that too. My parents would be upset over your behavior and administration.” 215

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Are you threatening me?” Charles grew close to Tod’s face. “You swept an attempted rape charge under the rug, been drunk and disorderly, and fired the guide. I suggest you stay out of my way. If it’s a problem for you I can switch hotels. There are far better ones in this city that I can easily afford.” Charles dropped his hold on Tod’s arm. “Do whatever you want. I find it’s easier to let the spoiled children finish their fits than to force any real life on them. That is what you are Tod. You’re just a scared momma’s boy, a boy that’s afraid of the dark. The campus will love hearing about this one.” “Charles, I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think or who you tell. I’ve got a beautiful woman, money, and next year I’ll get a degree. All you have is a teaching job you hate. Doesn’t keep you warm at night, does it?” “You keep your French trash.” “At least I can keep a woman. You couldn’t even hold on to your wife.” Charles turned red. Without warning he reached back and swung landing an upper cut squarely on Tod’s jaw. Tod staggered back, but didn’t fall. “Punk, kid,” spat Charles from between clenched teeth. Nick took a step forward, but Tod waived him back. “It’s okay. I’m fine. I’m sure Evette will make it all better.” He started up the street then called back, “Good luck Nick. I hope I see you tomorrow.” The he was lost to the crowd. “Are you two going to chicken out?” Charles was nearly screaming. His face was red and hands shook violently. “I’m looking forward to this,” Anna spoke softly with a sexy slowness to her words. Her eyes cut over to them. “I can’t wait to get back down into the dark. There’s no telling what we will find there.” She moistened her lips. “Isn’t that right Nick?” A chill crept up his spine sending out waves of goose flesh and ending in a sour taste in his mouth. Her behavior was so sensual, but there was an evil tone. Whatever crept up her leg in the darkness below the city was inside her. It could hide in her skin, behind the flawless face, but traces of it showed. Anna 216

RESTLESS SHADOWS never spoke that way before. Worse were her eyes. They’d never been that cold or deadly certain. “Well, isn’t that right?” she asked again. “Yeah. I guess so.” He swallowed hard. There was no turning back. The key to everything existed under their feet, and in Anna’s veins. “We might even find you lurking around down there.” He managed an apprehensive smile, but her narrowed eyes cut through to his heart forcing the ice over his nerves again. He’d never felt so alone. “Then it’s set. We’ll meet at Louis Landes on Avenue du Maine at seven. Bring whatever you think you’ll need, but we will be leaving the catacombs in the morning when the diggers come back. It doesn’t give us long so don’t plan on sleeping.” “I have no intentions of it.” Anna let out a soft giggle. Nick stood there feeling alone in a crowd of people. Anna sounded as crazy as Charles looked. The combination of the two made him want to scream. He was essentially trapped in an asylum. He could, he supposed, back out the way that Tod just did. It was the logical choice, but he owed it to himself and to Anna to finish this. He didn’t want to think about what would happen to her if he didn’t. He looked up at the sky with its passing clouds over rays of light and spoke under his breath. “Please let me see the sun again. Let us both see it again.”

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Chapter Thirty-Two The sun started to set when everyone found their way to Louis Landes. Anna and Nick arrived together. Charles stood waiting for them at the door, dressed for a night on the town instead of digging with fancy button down shirt and dress pants. Cologne hung in the air around him. His face was freshly shaven and his thin hair was pulled into his foolish ponytail. “Hope you didn’t have any trouble finding it.” Anna didn’t speak. She hadn’t spoke for most of the day and the occasional comments she did make were incredibly out of line. The bitter sarcasm she used received disapproving glances from Nick. Anna didn’t care. She’d gone beyond the point of caring. Anna felt numb, strange like after a loved one dies. One the flip side she felt good. There was an energy that made her feel more alive than ever before, but this energy wasn’t impressed with politeness or with Nick. It was wild, giving her skin a sensation stronger than before, sensitiveness she’d never experienced. “We didn’t have any problems,” said Nick. “Good. Let’s grab some food before we get started.” The three of them walked inside. The restaurant held a warm atmosphere with linen cloths on each table and a sign at the door that said something about wines. Paintings decorated the walls with wonderful French scenes. Plants hung in the corners near light fixtures that illuminated the room. Anna felt out of place. Each of them carried large duffel bags that gained a few curious stares, but more troubled her. She didn’t belong here. It came from somewhere inside, the feeling that there was no place for her among these narrow minded people with their concerns over money, relationships, and looks. Part of 218

RESTLESS SHADOWS her felt like she could read their minds. A lady in a long black dress wanted to be seduced, while her beau worried over his tie. Another man sitting nearby was thinking about work. There were dozens of them forgetting what it was like to be alive and getting caught up in the things that didn’t matter. A hostess came up to them with her hair gathered in a clip and cascading down her shoulders. She wore a blue dress that made her look lovely, but Anna knew that deep inside she was worried whether her husband was at home or with the other woman. She took them through a maze of tables to a booth at the side. They were seated, Charles across from Nick and Anna. Charles grabbed a drink list from the center of the table and ordered for all of them by pointing to something. Nick looked surprised and a little irritated by his initiative. It didn’t matter. Anna was more interested in the crowd that anything happening at her table. “Excuse me.” Nick stood and walked in the direction of the bathroom. “I’ll keep Anna company for you,” Charles called after. Nick paused in the aisle for a moment, but didn’t turn, then continued on to the rest rooms. Anna looked at him. There was something he was hiding. His mind was obscured in cycles of madness and emotion. She tried to concentrate on it and realized that she was not psychic. She had no idea about what Charles was going to do. The coming actions were clear, but exactly what they were culminating to stayed hidden. The waitress appeared with their drinks. From the waistband of her apron she produced three menus and placed them on the table next to the drinks. “Thank you. We will need a few minutes to order,” said Charles. The waitress, apparently knowing no English, shrugged and walked away. Anna stared at Charles who looked agitated. She wasn’t sure why, but something clearly bothered him. He sat nervously, 219

RESTLESS SHADOWS shifting from side to side and looking in the direction of the bathrooms with his hand shoved stiffly in his pocket. “Anna, would you mind calling the hotel and checking on Tod? I feel bad about earlier. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him.” “I would mind,” she said coldly. “Please. I don’t think he wants to talk to me. He’s your friend. I don’t think he’d mind the call and it would make me feel better.” His hand stayed in his pocket. “I don’t care what you feel like.” She realized how horrible she sounded and the first pang of guilt entered her. Tod was her friend and he left upset. It would only be right to call and check on him. “I’ll call for Tod, not for you.” She walked to the bar looking for a phone. A man in his fifties stood there wiping the top with little effort. He didn’t pay her any attention as she approached. His eyes were focused on a lady at the bar. “Excuse me. Is there a phone I could use?” “Pardon?” The man looked confused and Anna realized that he didn’t speak any English either. “Je ne comprends pas.” Anna shook her head and turned back to the table. She saw the professor recapping a white medicine bottle and shoving it back into his pocket. The bottle didn’t bother her as much as the look on Charles’ face. He was delighted, pleased with himself and appeared to be laughing aloud at a private joke. For Charles to be pleased, something was wrong. “What are you doing?” asked Nick. He’d walked up behind her while she’d been watching Charles. “Nothing.” She was afraid to look away from the curious display. “I was going to call Tod, but I changed my mind.” They went back to the table and sat down. Anna couldn’t take her eyes off of Charles. There was something definitely wrong. He was focused on Nick’s glass with that horrible pleased expression. She looked at it trying to see the reason for his interest. There was a difference in Nick’s drink and hers. Hers 220

RESTLESS SHADOWS was a light brown. A whiskey she decided. His was completely black. Poisoned, she decided. The old boy just poisoned Nick’s drink. He had plans for her too, she bet, probably a rape at the least, murder at the most. He would try to slide that little wormy professor’s cock up her after disposing of the boyfriend. He had the gall to think with Nick out of the way that he could have her. She’d enjoy him coming after her. Next time she wouldn’t stop with his throat, next time there would be no need of a hospital. She would gladly kill or die to keep him from taking her. Relax look again. Maybe you made a mistake, she told herself. She looked back at the thick brew blacker than anything she’d ever seen except for Shades. It was lethal. Charles had gotten them both out of the way easily and started part one of his plan. “Let’s drink a toast,” announced Charles. He raised his glass. “To tonight. May it be everything we want it to be.” Anna didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to cause a scene, but Nick was reaching for his glass. There was no time to tell him what was inside it. He could die, but would that be so terrible dying here instead of sixty feet underground? She allowed his hand to touch the glass. All she could think of was death really so terrible. The logical pinnacle of life, wasn’t it? If all the great religious men were right, then paradise existed on the other side instead of a life of work and hardships ending when your children ship you off to an old folks’ home and you die surrounded by the scent of disinfectant. Then she considered the Shades again and decided that she couldn’t stand to see it take Nick, but the glass was nearly at his lips. “Stop,” Anna grabbed Nick’s arm before he could drink. “We need to make a toast to the man that made all of this possible.” She stood with glass held up. “Here’s to Charlie. May he get what he deserves.” 221

RESTLESS SHADOWS She reached to clink glasses, lightly touching Charles. She was not as gentle with Nick’s. She started her glass forward and smashed into his. The glass shattered spewing liquor and shards over the table. It reminded her vaguely of a drunk driving commercial where the actors spent their time breaking glasses to the sounds of car accidents. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” She dropped the remaining bits of glass in her hand. Tiny spots of blood drifted down onto the tablecloth. Every eye in the room was on her. Silence fell after a few ah’s. She was the center of attention, standing ringleader in this bizarre circus of life and death. Her head was racing, whirling. She wasn’t sure if she made the right choice, but the decision was made and she stood there with everyone staring at the outsider that dared to come in. The need to get out, to run became overwhelming. Two waitresses were coming over, rags in hand, to clean up the mess she made. She bolted for the door. Once outside, the cooler air made her feel better. The sun was drifting past the buildings giving way to the first signs of night. The old energy came back. She felt better, a little racy still but better. “Are you okay?” She turned to face Nick. She was tired of him asking her that. Every day was the same. He ask her if she was okay with the same sincerity. Well, damn it she was. She was great. He was the one with the problem. She felt alive for the first time, since maybe ever. She could feel the blood in her veins, hear the beat of her heart and think clearly about the world. Everything felt charged, alive inside her. Who was he to question this? Her eyes focused on him. She wanted to explode, release herself. She desperately needed to make him understand. There was so much more happening around them that he didn’t see, couldn’t see. She started to speak, hoping to find some word to explain what she felt. Her mouth opened, but nothing would come. Then she saw his face, could see the heat rising from his head, hear his 222

RESTLESS SHADOWS breathing, his heart racing in his chest from the scare in the restaurant. Deep lines of red and white pulsed under his flesh. “Leave me alone,” she stammered not able to think of anything else than the bizarre x-ray view she just saw of her lover. Her eyes went to the street. If she tried she could see everything about a person, down to a pregnant woman’s fetus. She looked back at Nick. Small dots of black decorated his hands where the drink spilled. They were reaching for her. “Please, baby. Talk to me. You’re scaring me. I don’t know what to do. I think something happened to you down there.” His hands touched hers. The black dots vanished with the contact. “I’m better than I’ve ever been before. I’m alive.” She smiled a twisted half grin. “You wouldn’t have been if you took a sip of that drink. I think the professor planted a present in it for you.” “What are you talking about?” He dropped her hand and glanced back into the restaurant where the professor sat. “He poisoned you. I saw the black bubbling from your glass. He waited until you were gone and suggested I call Tod.” Nick rubbed his face in disbelief. “Are you sure?” “I think you’d better start worrying about yourself. I don’t need it. You’re the one that almost died, not me.” She started down the street. “I’m going to find Shades. I think I’m in better shape to get started than the two of you.” “Wait.” He grabbed her. “Not without me.” “I suggest you let go. I’m fine. In fact I’ll be fine when you and shit head in there are nothing but worm food. Now let go.” She raised her voice. “Now.” “After that scene, I guess we should grab some sandwiches some place else.” Charles came out the door while stuffing his wallet back into his pants. “Don’t worry about the bill. I covered it.” “Gee, aren’t you the good Samaritan.” Anna spoke with hard eyes focused on Nick. “Since everyone’s here, there's no sense in standing in the middle of the sidewalk. Can we get going?” 223

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Sure,” started Nick. “We’ll all go.” He didn’t drop her arm, but grabbed it with one hand as they walked to the end of the street. When she pulled away, he held tighter, finally putting one arm around her waist to increase his hold. “Whatever,” said Anna. “But I don’t want you in my way down there. There’s work to be done.” “I have a few things to do myself.” He said in an equally threatening tone.

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Chapter Thirty-Three They found the way back to the area where the men had been digging. Charles led them, hurrying along the corridors of human fossils making only one wrong turn and quickly correcting it. A wide low beam of their flashlights kept them on course. Their duffel bags hung on their shoulders like they were runaways making a fast exit. No one spoke, the silence held over the group in the darkness, as if quiet was all that protected them. Charles kept a fast pace, wanting to get to their destination and start his business. He became unnerved by the fact Anna stopped Nick from drinking his poison. Somehow she must have seen him dump the bottle into his drink. He hadn’t been quick enough. There was some hope in the botched effort. Anna didn’t tell Nick about it. If she had, Nick would’ve taken his head off or had him arrested by now. There was also the fact that it took her so long to stop the drink. He nearly drank it during the toast. She considered letting Nick die. Part of her wanted it as badly as he did. That delay, no matter how small felt wonderful. Anna must feel strongly for Charles to allow him to sacrifice her boyfriend. She might even thank him after everything is over with. He came so close. The poison was in Nick’s hand. It must’ve been a moral dilemma for her to choose to save Nick over being with the man she preferred. Next time the choice will not be hers. He’d be the man and handle everything. Women always want to think that they are on higher ground. He’d give her that. The lights were off when they came to the spot where the digging stopped. Charles groped around for the plug, knocking over a set of shovels and sending them clanking to the 225

RESTLESS SHADOWS ground. Finally the lights came on, filling a comfortable area and making the surrounding scenery appear more ominous. “Let’s spread out. Nick you can start by the new tunnel. In my bag are vials and baggies for the samples. Mark which area each come from. Anna, why don’t you start at the far end and I’ll work the middle.” He watched Nick get out his tools and begin. He was pressing more into the new tunnel, not really stopping for small specks, but digging like the workmen that tried to get the tunnel opened before tomorrow afternoon. He worked against a small opening large enough for a grown man to crawl through, slicing sloppily through the rock and clay. Anna wasn’t digging at all. She wandered further and further away, looking in awe over the skeletal remains. She appeared captivated by them, touching small indentions and continuing along down the row. “Do you smell that?” yelled Nick who just freed another large chunk of the wall. “What?” Charles approached him. “It smells like ...like rotting meat.” He grabbed his light and flashed it into and around the opening. “Disgusting!” “Nick, there hasn’t been any meat on these bones for centuries. If you smell anything at all then it’s probably a dead rat. Be rational and slow down. This isn’t a race. You are looking for clues not finishing the tunnel.” Charles moved back to the area he picked for himself. He’d brushed off a few bones when he’d noticed that Anna wandered out of the lighted area. She was alone in the darkness, venturing away from everyone into the silent bone yard. Deciding that she wandered off alone for a reason, he followed. He walked beyond the lighted circle and into the black aisles. Nick didn’t seem to notice. He was still digging like a maniac in search of gold. Charles continued ahead. He didn’t want to risk turning on a flashlight and alerting Nick to his whereabouts. Things would be much cozier without an unwanted boyfriend. If he did choose to follow, then a distant row would be 226

RESTLESS SHADOWS perfect for an attack. Something far away from everything except the rats would do. He slowed and listened. Ahead of him were the muffled sounds of footsteps. Anna was somewhere up the aisle. From her pace, the darkness wasn’t slowing her. She walked as if she knew where she was going. He hurried to catch her. The aisle wasn’t as easy for him to maneuver. He tripped, fell, and resorted to using the bone remains as a guide. At a corner, the sound changed directions, although he wasn’t positive of which way she went. The echoic chamber distorted noises, but he went ahead anyway. Finally the footsteps stopped. “Anna,” he whispered. The only response was a new sound ahead of him. “Anna.” Again no answer, but a clear low moaning could be heard. The sound was erotic, tired but pleased. He couldn’t see anything. Figuring that he was far enough away, he flicked on his flashlight and continued ahead. The darkness became thicker and the sound of Anna’s voice louder. He reached another corner and found a niche five or six feet wide inside the wall. The sound emanated from there. He approached, flashing his light. The beam landed on Anna. On the ground she lay rolling in the dirt, engulfed in shadows thick and syrupy covering her like a living blanket. Her mouth was open but distinct features were lost. The darkness looked so thick that his flashlight appeared weak as if caught in a fog. “Anna?” he said louder this time. She jumped up, seemingly startled by his presence. He went forward. She slid from her niche and backed up. Anna had nowhere to run. The aisle she went down was a dead end, cut off by piles of skulls. There was no one to help her. Nick was far away. The lights from the digging weren’t even visible from here. Charles could play all he wanted. “Did you sneak off so I’d find you?” He shone his flashlight in her eyes and noticed a small tear in her shirt. “Why were you on the ground? Getting warmed up for me?” “I don’t think you want to mess with me again. You landed in the hospital the last time. There are no ambulances to save you 227

RESTLESS SHADOWS down here.” He saw her hand reach for a weapon, finding only bones wedged in too tight to move. “I don’t think you’ll be a problem this time.” Charles came closer, watching her search frantically for a means of escape. He enjoyed her fake panic. This had to be part of her game, something she conjured up as a means of seduction. There was no other reason for a woman to wander off alone in a dark cave like this one. “I’ll call for Nick,” she threatened. He reached out and touched her hair. “Do you think your college dick can stop me? I don’t think you want to do that.” He reached for her breast. “You want me. Both of us know it. It isn’t necessary for you to call Nick to save you. I’m not into threesomes.” “I was going to call him to save you.” She leaned back bringing her knee up, but he saw it and blocked her attempt at his balls. “I knew you liked it rough.” He grabbed her by the back of her neck pulling her head against the wall. “I’ll scream. I mean it.” “There won’t be any need to.” Nick’s flashlight spotlighted him from behind. “Charles, I thought you knew better than to bother my lady.” “She’d wandered off.” Charles gripped the flashlight tightly in his fist. “I didn’t mean any harm.” His words were calm, teeth gritted. Suddenly he turned whirling the metal grip into Nick’s head blind siding him. Lights flashed. Nick went to the ground. “The only one I mean to harm is you.” He swung again. Nick blocked, but couldn’t stop the kick to his stomach. “Bastard,” bellowed Nick breathlessly. Nick punched, but Charles’ first hit did its damage. Blood trickled down Nick’s face. Another blow followed, catching Nick at the back of the head. Charles watched him crawl then fall to the ground with blood puddling out from a head wound in the semi-circle shape of the flashlight. 228

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Now missy. There’s no one here but me and you.” He came forward and grabbed her head in both his hands kissing her sloppily on the mouth. “You don’t have to play any more. I know you want me.” She slapped at him, making him pin both of her small arms against the rough wall. His hand grabbed her breast. “I love the way you play.” “You like it huh.” She smiled at him then leaned up to kiss him. “I like the way you play too. Let me touch it.” He let go of her arms allowing her hand slid down to his pants. “I knew you wanted me,” he gasped. “I’ve got so many things in store for you. So much little college boys don’t know.” “I can’t wait.” She reached to his pants unfastening them. Slowly, her hand slipped inside stroking him then caressing his balls. “Do you know what I’d like?” “What?” “To really show you how I care.” Her hand grabbed his balls and squeezed, then shoved them back into his body. “Ahhh.” He staggered back. Nausea filling him, his gut surged with pain. He fell to his knees near Nick’s silent body holding himself. His groin burned and throbbed. Tears swelled in his eyes. “Bastard. What gives you the right to do this to me?” He roared, stood, then charged back punching her in the mouth and sending her tumbling against the wall of bones. “I’m stronger, that’s what gives me the right. Let’s don’t make this any rougher than it has to be.” He stood over her and punched down again lolling her head on the ground. Her eyes shut and he started pulling away her clothes. “This is going to be fun.” **** Anna stopped moving, stopped breathing. Rage filled her mind, and her body. She was sick of being treated like nobody, like nothing. This man had no right to even breathe much less touch her. She registered the sound of her shirt tearing away, the feeling of his hands digging into her flesh as her bra came off. He had no right. 229

RESTLESS SHADOWS She felt energy pulsing through her veins, a deep black energy. “Fuck off.” She spoke slowly without fear. Then she opened her eyes and saw him standing over her. One fist was held tight ready to pound her. That’s what he wanted. She knew it. He wanted her to resist so he would be able to hurt her. “I won’t let you.” Her eyes rolled. The ground started to shake around them. When she looked up again the whites of her eyes were gone leaving only a black solid pupil covering. Her hands stretched out and she saw the fear in Charles’ eyes. He backed away. “I’m tired of assholes and cowards.” She laughed, a strange horrible sound mixed with growls that weren’t human. “Don’t you see? You’re nothing Charlie. I know you. Death is already inside you. Now or five years from now, there’s no difference. Time is nothing. Don’t you see it here in the monument for death? Don’t you feel your insignificance?” The walls around them began to move. Bones started falling, toppling leg bones, arms, hips, and skulls down rolling toward Charles. The longer bones flew behind him to cut off his path. There was no place for him to run. More bones stacked up creating a new wall, enclosing him in a flying circle of debris. He screamed, frantically looking for a way out. His hands batted away the smaller fragments, but larger bones started stacking up at his feet. “How does it feel to be helpless?” asked Anna. He covered his head and dropped to his knees. The bones started their new wall around him. They stacked higher, hiding him. He realized what was happening too late. Anna watched his hands reach up as the wall grew seven feet tall. “You can’t do this!” There were tears in his voice. “Stop it!” He tried to push away the body fragments, but Anna kept stacking them. His fist knocked one loose, only to have several more replace it. When the dust settled, the prison was complete. He was entombed in bones like some twisted Count of Monte Cristo. He was trapped with the spaces in between the 230

RESTLESS SHADOWS bones giving him enough room to see his captor, a tiny woman he thought vulnerable. “Let me go!” Charles had no room to move. “Please!” “I’m tired of people letting me down. I am more than any of you. You have no right to treat me this way. I can taste life and death. They exist together in a cycle of change, each sweet and sour in their way. I can take souls. I can do anything. I have control.” She shut her eyes and let out a low growl. Without reason she fell to the floor, landing spinelessly in the dirt. A terrible paleness coated her face with a waxy quality. Charles watched from his prison as a shadow rose from her mouth. “Bastard,” it screamed with its gravely sound. “You’ll pay!” The walls around Charles’ prison began closing in. The bones pressed uncomfortably against his body. Pain shot through his ribs as they audibly cracked under the pressure. His stomach was jabbed with a leg bone. “I’m not the only one that hurt you,” screamed Charles in a last ditch effort to save his life. “Nick was weak. Tod is a coward. He’s at the hotel not caring what happens to you. None of them care. They’re guilty too. They let anything happen to you. They don’t care.” The bones stopped closing. “You are right. They all let me down.” The dark shadow spun away from the lifeless body and approached the bone coffin. “Tod is at the hotel because he is a coward. I will deal with him first.” Her shadow expanded growing thin then vanished in a long leap down the tunnel. She traveled quickly running through the night, jumping between shadows. “Tod needs to die, Anna,” whispered the voice that traveled with her. “You are my Shades, aren’t you.” “Yes. I will never leave you. I am the only one that never will. Now let’s deal with those interlopers that think they can play in my world without consequence. Let’s get the cowardice boy that left you to die while he lay.” 231

RESTLESS SHADOWS The hotel came in sight, then in a blink they were in the building, running up the stairs and under Tod’s door. Anna saw him heaped up in bed under the covers with his lover. They were snuggled up safe and comfortable while her lover was lying on the floor among dead bodies bleeding. He didn’t have to be. If Tod had come along with them, things might be much different. Tod deserted them. “Do you see the red in his body? That’s his life force.” Shades and Anna were intertwined beyond the point of distinction physically but their thoughts were still separate. “I will teach you how to read the life force. Do you hear that low cry?” “Yes,” answered Anna. “It sounds like a distant baby crying.” She heard its low pitiful sounds. “That’s his soul. They cry when their time comes. They cry for me to come and release them from the physical prison so they may start again or pass into eternity. It is a beautiful sound. This is a special moment for you my dear. I will let you free this soul.” “That will be an honor.” She rippled closer, hovering above the sleeping pair in the darkness. “Do you see the black spot in his chest?” “Yes. I saw one like it in Charles’ stomach.” “Charles has a failing liver. This boy has an undetected heart murmur. He might’ve lived to be ninety, but the stress from the trip has weakened him, along with his recent physical exertions. It is his time to pass in his sleep. That black spot is where your attack must start.” Anna looked and saw the spot growing wide, pushing the red lines away from it. “Is this right?” she asked suddenly feeling unsure. “If he understood the total picture, he would thank you for it. This is not his life to continue.” Shades pointed a thin limb to his heart. “Can’t you hear his soul cry? Can’t you see where the black spot pulses?” “Yes. I understand.” She started to focus the new energy in her. 232

RESTLESS SHADOWS “Bring it in before you release it,” it coached. “Launch it at the spot.” She felt the energy come in quick and hard. Then, like an exhale, she released it into the seventeen year old boy she once called friend. Tod jerked in the bed. Evette woke, sat upright, and started calling his name. He couldn’t speak. Black blood came from his nose and mouth. His chest went into a spasm. Then Evette screamed and broke into tears. Anna started to let up. The scene too terrible, too much to look on with Evette trying to help her dying lover. Anna tried to stop, but Shades wouldn’t let her. It pushed her on until a stream of fog came from Tod’s nose and the body ceased to live. Dimness covered the body, the red lines gone. The black Anna saw was invisible to Evette. The young woman grabbed Tod and cried smearing the black onto her naked body. She shook with fierce tears. “Tod! Please wake up,” she pleaded with the corpse. “Tod.” Another moment passed before logic kicked in and she could call the hospital. The dead boy’s head was in her lap. “Please Tod speak to me,” she kept repeating until the operator picked up the phone. The foggy stream came closer and took on the shape of Tod. “Anna?” He asked then disappeared into oblivion. “What have I done?” she felt hot tears burn where her eyes should be. “I killed. I’ve committed murder.” “You’ve set him free. His time had come. In fact I should have taken him days ago.” Shades wrapped tightly around Anna. “That young woman will be over him soon. Do not feel remorse for them. This is the correct progression.” “I want to go back.” In an instant they’d taken flight again returning to the catacombs. Anna felt strange. She wasn’t sure if she’d done a bad thing or not. If it really is natural and supposed to be then what’s the crime? She tried to reason it out, but a strange exhilaration filled her. There was something exciting in tasting a soul, a wild, free feeling. 233

RESTLESS SHADOWS “I knew you would like this,” then Shades laughed as a parent does when a child learns something new. “You’ve done well.” She flew along the aisle and saw the professor in his bone coffin. A new rage entered her. It was more than being violated. “Let me take him?” she asked her companion. “May I have him?” “He is yours child.” The blackness settled around the bones. “No!” screamed Charles. The darkness didn’t let up. A grinding noise set in, drew closer on him. There was a popping, a snapping as the bones grew in collapsing on their prey. “Please, no! No!” Then a crackling sound, louder than any of the others came and blood trickled down the pile running onto the bare ground. The professor was silent. “Anna?” Nick was on his knees staring at the bleeding wreck that held their professor. There was no longer any space in the center, only a solid column. “I’ll deal with you in a minute, you weak ass.” As quickly as the cage came together, it began to disassemble. Bones flew back onto the stacks at the walls. The skulls rolled back into place. The bones stacked up tightly. The mire in the middle separated. The larger pieces took their place on the wall. The smaller stuff, blood, and tissue were left for the rats to consume. “Now for you, sweetie.” The black fog turned to Nick. He crawled at first, then got to his feet. Despite his injuries he began to run. The shadow was growing closer, creating an unbreakable darkness behind him. Coldness was on his heals, trying to make him go faster. “You doubted me. You were going to let Charles have me.” “No!” He screamed back and turned the corner. “I tried to protect you.” He ran back to the digging site. There was no reason for it. Anna didn’t understand why he wasn’t trying to make the door. All she knew was that she was about to overtake him and 234

RESTLESS SHADOWS bring him into the wall of darkness that she existed as. There he would learn what he searched a lifetime for. “Death is life. Life is death. You wanted revenge for you sister. Well take your revenge on me. One greatness cannot exist without the other. You’re foolish to think you and your kind deserve special treatment. If there were no death then life would be hell. Never an end, never peace. People deserve better.” The blackness stayed only inches from his feet. He turned the corner, stumbled, and landed against a wall. The black wall stopped in front of him with two sets of eyes glowing inside. “Let her go Shades. You can’t do this.” “I can do whatever I want,” answered Anna. “And I want to do you.” He ran again, sliding by Shades and heading back for the dig. It stayed on him, playing a game of cat and mouse. The lights were ahead. Nick lunged for the pool, tumbling into it on his stomach. The intensity was enough to slow the monster. Nick frantically ran for the tunnel and dove into the hole in the wall. “Stop her Shades. You know my time is not done.” Nick flashed the light around a small room filled with skeleton figures acting out life. A couple sat at a table. Another pile of bones was on the floor in a mock kneeling position. “You’ve driven her mad. It’s your responsibility to stop her. Why did you use her anyway? You chicken shit. Was that the only way you had the balls to face me?” “Get out of this room,” called Shades. “It is sacred. You do not belong there.” “Face me! Are you afraid?” “No.” The voice came from next to him. “I must confess that I envy life. Maybe that’s how all of this started. It is how it got out of hand. Please understand that I do what is necessary Nick.” “Look at this place. Look at this room. They mock life. How can you do this?” He went to the figure on the floor moving as far from Shades as possible.

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RESTLESS SHADOWS “I only take those that are ready. Now get out of this room. This space is not for your eyes.” There was a troubled sound coming from it, a sad mix of anger and fear. “I’m not ready and you know it.” The blackness was in front of him, closing. “To take me would be murder.” He grabbed the skull from the kneeling figure and tossed it into the void. “My time isn’t up yet.” Shades stopped as if a cold splash of water just hit it. The form thickened, changed into a single shape nearly human. It formed limbs that picked up the skull and stepped forward replacing it on the kneeling man. “Life is precious. I of all creatures understand something of that.” “It’s not my time. Let me go! This isn’t necessary. You have to stop this.” Nick looked around the room and found nothing but dirt and bone. “I don’t deserve to die!” Shades touched the bones, enveloping them in darkness. He caressed them fondly then shifted again towards Nick with eyes lit brightly inside the midnight form. “So long ago. So much hasn’t changed.” It crept closer making the flesh on Nick’s arms visibly change to goose flesh. “No. Your soul is firmly in place. I will not let Anna take you. You are not ready,” it spoke and a sound like a sigh followed. “I don’t understand!” Anna rippled up to the ceiling, and hovered above Nick’s head. “You’ve existed in two places for long enough. It is enough to drive anyone mad. You are not ready for the other side, so I will return you to your body.” It crept closer to Nick. “This room you dove into is sacred. Please leave it Nick. I will not harm you. The frenzy is over. Please forgive, but fresh emotions are rare for me.” “Why is this room sacred?” “Because the bones on the floor are mine. A thousand years ago, I was close to human. Not close enough to avoid my duties. I tried to hide as flesh but was found. Now get out of my domain. I’ll have to see you again soon enough.” 236

RESTLESS SHADOWS Nick looked up but Anna was no longer there. He left silently, crawling out on his stomach. He could feel Shades cold presence around him as he shut off the lights and went back to where Anna’s body lay. Nick kneeled next to her and waited. There was no sign of life in her body. “Is she alive?” As he asked, her body moved, taking in breath. Her eyes open spilling tears built up from behind closed lids. “Get me away from here.” Nick picked her up and carried her to the stairs. During the long walk, she cried heavily against his shirt, whispering apologies. “We’re almost out, baby,” he whispered. “Everything’s going to be okay.” She looked up at the light ahead. “Shades,” she whispered against his chest. “I don’t belong up there. I belong with you.” “I will always be with you,” it answered in a sound filling her head but unheard by Nick. “Thank you for sharing humanity with me. Enjoy this life while you have it. It is unlike anything I can offer you. Marry, have babies, then when you are tired I will seduce you. We will be together again. For now, you belong to another.” Nick set her down and the two of them took the long trip to the top. Morning sunlight greeted them. A new day began.

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Epilogue “So you two can’t tell us anything about the disappearance of Mr. Charles Archel? No details come to mind, someplace he might’ve mentioned, anyone he was hanging around with during the trip?” “No, sir.” Nick replied. “I hope they find him.” “Last time I saw him, he was in France. He fired our guide.” Anna reached over and held Nick’s hand at the police station in Dublin. The FBI was investigating, tracking the two of them all the way to the excavation site. “Did you ask that Jon fellow?” “Yes, ma’am. We’ve made our inquiries. If either of you remember anything, please let us know.” The officer handed Anna a business card. “How long do you plan to stay in Ireland?” “We’ve both been asked to join up for the duration. It may not be finished for a year.” Nick was handed another card. “We might take a little time off for our honeymoon.” “Thank you for your time. If we need you, we will contact you again.”

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