Survival by Jade Falconer
Phaze www.phaze.com
Copyright ©2008 by Jade Falconer
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Published by Phaze Books Also by Jade Falconer Morningstar Cold Hands, Warm... Girls on Film Tangled Web Escape "Devotion" from Phaze Fantasies, Vol. III Savior Morningstar: Death and Life (print) Sanctuary Wicked Game The Perfect Gift Back to the Past 3
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****
**** This is an explicit and erotic novel intended for the enjoyment of adult readers. Please keep out of the hands of children. www.Phaze.com
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Survival by Jade Falconer
Survival a novel of homoerotica by JADE FALCONER
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Survival copyright 2008 by Jade Falconer All rights reserved under the International and PanAmerican Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental. A Phaze Production Phaze Books 6470A Glenway Avenue, #109 Cincinnati, OH 45211-5222 Phaze is an imprint of Mundania Press, LLC. To order additional copies of this book, contact:
[email protected] www.Phaze.com 6
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Cover art © 2008 Sparrowhawk Edited by Kathryn Lively eBook ISBN-13: 978-1-59426-864-9 eBook ISBN-10: 1-59426-864-9 First Edition -March, 2008 Printed in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Warning: the unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000.
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CONTENTS Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter
One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen Twenty Twenty-One Twenty-Two Twenty-Three Twenty-Four Twenty-Five Twenty-Six 8
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Chapter Twenty-Seven Epilogue About the Author ****
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Chapter One It was a warm night. Warm meant less clothing, more skin. Sultry weather lent itself well to cruising the streets, looking for trouble. Nicky was trouble just waiting to be found. Barely nineteen years old, he'd been on the street for two years since running away from home. Small town existence and an excess of hypocritical piety hadn't suited him, so he upped and left. He would have had to drop out of high school if he hadn't finished a year early, having skipped fifth grade altogether. The story wasn't that simple, but the past was just that, and it would stay that way. Despite the fact that he was smart, he'd chosen a life of risk. He still held onto the adolescent notion that he was invulnerable to almost everything. He had lived through turf wars and the occasional psycho john, and had come out all the stronger for it. He had the appearance of a waif—slender and breakable, but he knew his eyes told a different story. With clients, of course, he fostered that appearance of innocence, the lost little boy trying to survive. He'd made a pretty penny or two that way. But that image was as false as the eyelashes he sometimes wore. His black wife beater clung to his narrow chest, stopping short of the sharp hip bones visible above slim, black drainpipe pants. Converse high tops completed the picture, adding a hint of reckless youth to the ensemble. He tossed his head to reposition his wispy, dark brown bangs back from his 10
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eyes, and took a deep drag on his cigarette. He leaned back against a streetlight, right in the center of the block. Minding his own business, one might think. Just a kid hanging out on a street corner. **** Gabriel was most definitely not minding his own business. He was looking for trouble, the kind that could get him into even more trouble. His car was sleek and black and quiet and expensive, and it crept down the street as if it knew its driver needed discretion. It looked more confident than its driver. Gabriel's mouth was dry and his palms were sweaty. His heart was racing a mile a minute and he knew that soon he would make a u-turn and chicken out like he'd done a dozen times before. Maybe not a dozen, but he'd definitely lost his nerve on several occasions. He wanted this so badly that he could taste it, but the actual doing was so seedy. But here he was. The road was not well-illuminated; pools of light created oases that floated in the darkness, spotlighting denizens of the night as they went about their business. But none of them were right, though they eyed Gabriel's car with greedy glittering eyes as it silently slid past. He was about to give up again. But ... then he saw him. A slim, dark-clad, pale young man who didn't bother to look at his car. Gabriel's hands tightened on the steering wheel and suddenly he knew. This was what he was here for, whom he was here for, whom he'd been fantasizing about in his fevered imagination. Suddenly all his vague dreams had face and 11
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form, and Gabriel knew he'd never get this one out of his head. Slim, so slim, looking as if he'd break from a touch. Hipbones tantalized him, and thin pale arms, and when Gabriel got to the face he was truly lost. The lips of an angel, if angels were meant to suck cock. Gabriel's car came to a halt seemingly of its own volition, right next to him. Gabriel wasn't apprehensive anymore, or afraid of getting caught as he rolled down the dark tinted window and gazed at his obsession. Nicky waited a casual beat before pushing himself off the light post. He leaned on the window ledge of the car door and looked inside, gaze clear and steady on the occupant of the car. "Two hundred," he said quietly. Gabriel could only stare. The young man was ethereally gorgeous. Even more so up close. He realized he was supposed to say something, but his fantasies had never covered this part of it. He hadn't dared think this far. The cost didn't matter. Gabriel had more money than he could spend, ever since the landmark case that had made his career. "Fine. Get in," he said, his voice hoarse. He would pay any amount of money for this. He needed it. Two hundred dollars? For what, he didn't know. And he didn't care right then. Nicky grinned broadly and slid into the butter soft leather seat. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pack of gum, offering a stick to the driver, who refused. "Have you got a place? Or there's a motel around the block," he offered casually. 12
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Gabriel had to clear his throat before he could speak. "Um. We'll go to a hotel." He hesitated. "Two hundred for what, exactly?" He wanted everything he could get. He might not have the nerve for this again. Nicky smirked. "What do you want, sexy? I can suck you off right here if you want. Or we could go to a hotel if you want to fuck me. Any more than that is extra," he purred. Gabriel whimpered softly. So far, the anxiety at an unknown situation had kept his body's needs at bay, but now all bets were off. He hardened rapidly, and his voice deepened. He spoke without thinking. "How much for all night? Whatever I want?" Nicky was quiet for a moment. He popped a piece of gum in his mouth and started to chew. "Five hundred. No permanent scarring, though, right? And no kissing." Gabriel, surprised, stared at Nicky's perfect mouth in regret. But he didn't hesitate. "Okay," he said. He would miss the kissing, but he would survive without it. "Um. Do I pay you now, or...?" He realized they were almost to the Roosevelt Hotel, one he'd used many times for guests. Nicky raised his eyebrows, looking at him doubtfully. He reached over and put his hand on the other man's thigh. "Have you never done this before, love?" he asked gently. Gabriel laughed self-deprecatingly. "Is it that obvious?" He looked down at Nicky's hand and licked his lips. His cock was throbbing now. "No. Never." No sense in pretending. He pulled into the self parking lot, avoiding the valet. "Well, for future reference, then, if you pay a whore up front, they'll likely shimmy out the bathroom window before 13
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you've had your money's worth." He gave the man a wink. "Not that I'd do anything like that." "Oh," Gabriel replied, feeling stupid. He parked the car. "We're here. I'll need to check in, so..." Nicky looked out the window at the hotel. He let out a low whistle. "Classy. Should I wait here?" he asked, smirking. "I would have worn nicer sneakers if I'd known." "It's not that great," Gabriel demurred, embarrassed. The Roosevelt was historic, a landmark, but the rooms were small and the staff pretentious. But it was close by, and that was all he needed now. "You can, um, wait in the lobby." He headed for the front doors, unable to resist a look back to see if the young man was following. Gabriel checked in quickly, feeling nervous, and it seemed to take forever before he made his way back to the lobby area. He half expected the prostitute to be gone, but there he was. He was leaning his shoulder negligently against the corner near the elevators, and when Gabriel passed by he followed him again into the waiting elevator car. Gabriel led the way to his suite, and opened the door with slightly shaking hands. Talking to the front desk staff had calmed down his arousal somewhat, but as soon as he closed the door behind him it returned immediately. He felt like an oversized kid again, awkward and nervous. Nicky took a few steps toward the bed. He smiled sweetly. "Come here, handsome," he said softly. He sat down on the edge of the mattress and patted the spot next to him.
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Gabriel swallowed hard and moved across the room, sitting beside the pretty man. "Wh-what's your name?" he asked, looking into breathtaking gray eyes. "Nicky." He put one hand on the other man's back, and the other on his thigh. "I have to admit, I don't often get to spend the night with someone so good-looking," he said. "Do you want to tell me your name? Or should I just call you," his gaze traveled down the other man's body to the sizable bulge in his pants, "Big Boy." Gabriel blushed. He knew better than to think it was anything more than empty compliments, but he couldn't help himself. Nicky was gorgeous, and he was flattered. "My name is Gabriel," he said, gazing back at him. Nicky's slender fingers trailed further up Gabriel's thigh. "Gabriel," he repeated. "And why don't you tell me what you'd like, Gabriel. Do you like it rough? Do you like it gentle? Do you want me to take my clothes off? Take your clothes off? Tell me what I can do for you, baby," he said, his manner calm. "Oh God," Gabriel moaned. This was so much better than he'd even imagined. "Yes," he whimpered. "I want all of it. Everything." He knew now that he would pay any amount of money Nicky asked right now. He'd never been so hard in his life. The idea of telling the pretty man what to do was incredibly erotic. Nicky's lips twitched, and in one fluid movement he swung his leg over so he straddled Gabriel's lap, knees braced wide around the other man's hips. He kneeled up slightly and pulled the snug tank top off over his head. Then his fingers 15
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started working deftly at Gabriel's buttons. "We're gonna have so much fun together," he breathed. This was so perfect, so hot, that Gabriel hoped he didn't come in his pants. He stared at Nicky's slender upper body and groaned. Then somehow his shirt was off and he was touching the beautiful young man. "Nicky," he whispered. His hands slipped down to rest on the other man's hips, his thumbs brushing those erotic hipbones. The only thing he could think was: perfect. Nicky put his hands on Gabriel's shoulders and pushed him back on the bed, leaning over him. He smiled sweetly, then rolled off, lying next to him and quickly shimmying out of his tight jeans and kicking off his sneakers. Then he rolled onto his side and tugged open the button on Gabriel's suit pants. Gabriel's cock was straining his pants and he moaned loudly as Nicky's hand neared his cock. He couldn't take his eyes off of the other man's naked body. Nicky was Gabriel's every fantasy rolled into one: pale and slim and nearly hairless. He was still shy, but he was so aroused that he knew he would quickly overcome it. Nicky stroked his palm over the bulge in Gabriel's pants before he tugged the zipper down. He smiled at the other man as his fingers burrowed down into the fabric and tugged out his large, hard cock. Nicky's eyes widened. "Oh my," he said. "I should charge extra for this." But then he sat partway up and pressed his full lips around the head of Gabriel's cock, sucking him deep into his mouth. Gabriel groaned, trying not to arch up or come immediately. He knew his cock was larger than average, but 16
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he had never cared that much. Now it was the center of his universe. He looked down, drinking in the sight of the pretty young man sucking him in. "Fuck," he moaned. He reached down, sliding his hand into Nicky's hair. Nicky sucked deep, teasing with his tongue as he pulled back. He shifted around over Gabriel's body so he could look him in the eyes as he swallowed his cock down his throat. There was no way Gabriel could have held back. Nicky was so sexy and he was so hard, and it felt too good. It was embarrassing how fast he was going to come, like a horny teenager, but the fact that he was paying this man for sex made it all the more illicit. His eyes met Nicky's and it was all over. He couldn't even warn him before he came hard, filling his mouth with pulse after desperate pulse. Nicky swallowed every drop. He held onto Gabriel's hips as he came, then licked him clean like a cat enjoying sweet cream. He smiled down at Gabriel while hovering over him on his hands and knees. "Why don't you roll over and I'll give you a back rub? Have a rest, hm? We have all night." Gabriel could barely think. His head was still spinning from his incredible climax. He looked up at Nicky. He still felt shy, despite just coming in that incredible mouth. "Wait," he said. "Stand up, I want to look at you. Please." Nicky was his fantasy, and he wanted to remember this night forever. Nicky smiled. "Sure, baby." He climbed off of Gabriel and stood beside the bed. He watched him with a serene expression on his face. "Shall I turn around?" he asked. When Gabriel nodded, he turned slowly, then spread his feet apart 17
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and bent low at the waist, smiling back over his shoulder, before straightening up again. Gabriel didn't bother to disguise his hungry gaze, all but devouring Nicky with his eyes. He was everything he wanted. Perfection. And Nicky was hard. It was more than he'd expected; his fantasies had included his lover being aroused, of course, but he hadn't really expected it. It was gratifying, and it made him bolder. "You're so hot," he breathed. "Can't wait to fuck you. Just like that. From behind." Though he'd just come, Gabriel could already feel the stirrings of arousal, and he knew it wouldn't be long. Nicky crawled back onto the bed with a sultry smile. "So do you want a backrub? Or maybe a shower? Or do you just want to lie there for a while?" he asked. He lay down on his side with his head propped on his hand. He ran his fingers lightly over Gabriel's chest, circling a nipple. Gabriel looked over at Nicky. "A backrub sounds good," he finally answered. A shower sounded nice as well, but maybe later. He kicked off his shoes and pushed off his pants before rolling onto his stomach. Nicky sat up and moved to straddle Gabriel's ass. He leaned low over him, placing his hands on his shoulders and pressing as much of his slender body against him as possible. He started to gently knead the muscles, leaning in to nuzzle at the back of Gabriel's neck. He'd never had a massage like this. Gabriel sighed happily as Nicky pressed against him; all that skin felt as good as the hands working his muscles. He hadn't realized how tense he had been, but now he was beginning to relax. He worked out 18
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a lot, and prided himself on being in good shape for a man who was nearing thirty. But Nicky was so slender he felt like a giant next to him. It made him feel strong. He liked the way Nicky touched him. Nicky worked his thumbs down either side of Gabriel's spine. "You're so tense," he said softly. He suckled at the side of Gabriel's neck as his fingers continued their progression. "Can you feel how hard I am, Gabriel?" he asked. Gabriel could indeed feel how hard Nicky was, and it was very arousing to him. "Yes, God, Nicky, you're making me hot again," he said, shifting on the bed. Though Nicky was on top of him, the younger man felt as if he weighed nothing. "Do you want to be fucked?" he whispered, and the very act of saying it made him even harder. Nicky rocked his hips back and forth, rubbing his hard cock against the small of Gabriel's back. "What do you think?" he murmured in his ear. His hands splayed against Gabriel's shoulder blades, massaging firmly. "I think I'd like to hear you talk dirty, pretty boy," Gabriel moaned. The more aroused he got, the bolder he became. He wanted to hear Nicky say the words. Ask to be fucked. There was no reason he couldn't act out every one of his deep, dark fantasies. Nicky traced his tongue along the edge of Gabriel's ear. "Please, Gabriel. Please fuck me. I need to feel your big thick cock pounding into my tight little ass," he murmured. "I can take whatever you can dish out. Use my body, Gabriel. I want you to fuck me so hard it'll feel like you're splitting me open." 19
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Now Gabriel was fully hard, and he groaned at Nicky's words. His mind knew the prostitute was only doing his job. But, there was no denying the hard cock against him, and Gabriel could easily lose himself in the fantasy. "Gonna fuck you hard," he promised, reaching back to roughly grope Nicky's ass with his big hands. "So hard you won't be able to walk right tomorrow." Nicky nestled flat against Gabriel's back for a moment, nipping at his shoulder. "You want me, big boy?" he purred. "Want me on my hands and knees for you?" "God, yes," panted Gabriel. He could barely grasp how perfect this was. He couldn't believe how hard he was already. He hoped he could last longer this time. "Can't wait to take your pretty little ass." He looked back over his shoulder at Nicky. Nicky grinned at him and climbed off his back. He slid off the bed and rummaged in his jeans for lube and a condom, then gave Gabriel a friendly little pat on the ass. "Would you like me to do the honors?" he asked, tearing the small foil packet open with his teeth. Gabriel rolled over, stretching. "Please," he said, smiling. He liked this, a pretty boy at his beck and call. Too bad he couldn't have this all the time. With every moment he felt more confident, more sure that whatever he told Nicky to do, he would. "I like the way you touch me," he said. Nicky placed the condom on the head of Gabriel's cock, then bent over him and painstakingly rolled it down his thick length using only his lips and tongue. Gabriel watched intently. It took a few minutes, simply because Gabriel was so 20
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very large. When Nicky had it fully unfurled, he squeezed some lube into the palm of his hand and started to smooth it evenly over the Latex in a gentle stroking motion. By the time the condom was on and lubed, Gabriel was so very ready. He sat up and said, "On your knees." It felt incredible to tell Nicky what to do. He couldn't wait to be inside him. Nicky scooted around until he was kneeling on the mattress. He crawled to the center and bent over, bracing himself on hands and knees, spreading his thighs wide apart. Gabriel took a moment to just gaze at Nicky, all spread out and waiting for his cock. It was an amazing sight. He wanted to remember it always. But his cock was aching now, and he needed to take his pretty whore. He kneeled behind him, running his hands down his back. "You want this?" Nicky was panting softly. "Oh, yeah. I want your beautiful big cock inside me, Gabriel. Please," he said, nearly whimpering. Spreading Nicky open to him, Gabriel pressed his cock against his entrance. He didn't enter yet, just teasing them both. It was sweet torture. Nicky arched his back and whimpered more loudly. He pressed against Gabriel in need. "Oh God, please fuck me. I need you so bad," he rasped. Gabriel moaned. He hadn't thought it possible to get any harder, but he did. He thrust in, as slowly as he could, and his eyes rolled back in his head as he was enveloped in tight heat. 21
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Nicky moaned, relaxing his body. "Fuck. Feels good, baby. You're so fucking big. Mmmm..." He gripped the bedspread in tight fists. Gabriel pulled out and thrust back in again, gasping at the sweet friction. Nicky was so tight, much more so than he'd expected. He wasn't going to last long at all. His hands fit perfectly on Nicky's slender hips, and he gradually built up speed. On each forceful thrust, Nicky tightened his body around Gabriel's cock. "God, yes. Don't hold back. Fuck me hard," he moaned. Gabriel was more than happy to comply. He started driving in harder, and soon he was slamming into the slim man. Nicky was clearly much stronger than he looked. It felt amazing; Gabriel had never been able to let go like this before. Nicky whimpered and arched, writhing in Gabriel's tight grip like a cat in heat. "Gabriel. Fuck, feels so fucking perfect," he panted hard. Nicky drove him crazy. Gabriel was almost insane with lust now, and he pounded in over and over. He knew his climax, when it came, would be spectacular. But, he wanted it to last. Nicky's head dropped down as he groaned. "Gabriel, I ... please. Can I come?" he whimpered piteously. Being asked permission was something Gabriel had never experienced, and he liked it a lot. He groaned and said, "Yes. Touch yourself, baby, let me hear you." His words were punctuated by rough thrusts. 22
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Nicky balanced on one elbow as he reached for his own cock. He started stroking and was coming a moment later. He cried out Gabriel's name as his body rocked with the force of his climax. Gabriel could only gasp and come hard, staring down at the beautiful man who took everything he gave him. He forgot to breathe for long moments as incredible ecstasy washed over him. Nicky leaned down against the pillow, ass still in the air, still joined to Gabriel. He drew a trembling breath and exhaled. Gabriel leaned down on Nicky's back for a moment, and pulled out regretfully. He consoled himself with the fact that they could do this again. As many times as he was able, all night. He collapsed on the bed and looked over at Nicky. "Are you all right?" he breathed as he threw the condom away. He hoped he hadn't gotten carried away. Nicky slid his knees out straight, burrowing into the pillow for a moment before raising his head with a smile. "Sure, baby. I haven't come that hard in a long time." He rolled onto his side, still smiling. "Hey, is it okay to raid the minibar?" he asked. Gabriel blinked. "Sure. Help yourself. In fact," He rolled over and grabbed the room service menu. "You want some dinner?" He hoped it wasn't a silly thing to ask. After all, they weren't exactly on a date. But he was hungry, and Nicky might be as well. Nicky sat up and accepted the menu. "Oh man, that'd be great. I'm starving." He sat cross-legged on the bed and 23
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opened the menu across his lap, casually naked. He licked his lips, turning the pages slowly. Gabriel smiled, leaning over to look at the menu over his shoulder. "Whatever you want," he said indulgently. It was the least he could do, he figured. And he liked how Nicky looked right now. Less jaded. Nicky leaned toward him, making it easier for Gabriel to view the menu. "Anything?" he asked, glancing sideways at him. "Anything," Gabriel repeated, nodding. He had the urge to spoil him. Nicky grinned. "You want anything?" he asked, reaching for the phone beside the bed. "Mmm, a cheeseburger and fries," he said, lying back. After that amazing sex, he was craving salt and grease. Nicky chuckled as he dialed room service. He ordered surf and turf with a side of asparagus and mashed potatoes, and a cheeseburger with fries. He put the phone down and lay back on the bed. "Thanks," he said quietly. Gabriel smiled. "Gotta keep your strength up," he said, unable to stop himself from reaching out to trace Nicky's full lips. "God, you're beautiful," he blurted, feeling flushed. Nicky smirked and sucked one of Gabriel's fingers into his mouth. He wriggled closer and slid his arm around Gabriel loosely. "And you are super hot. In fact, I'm really kinda surprised a guy like you would be, you know, paying for it." Again, Gabriel knew he shouldn't believe a word Nicky said, but he couldn't help himself. "I'm engaged. To a girl. So I don't get to do this much." He thought maybe he should feel 24
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guilty when he thought about Renee, his fiancée, but he didn't, not a bit. He continued in a whisper, "Paying for it is kind of part of the fantasy." Nicky nodded. "Right. I can see that." He sighed and relaxed back against the pillow. "So how's the fantasy going so far?" he asked. Gabriel smiled shyly. "It's perfect. You're perfect. I can't even begin to..." He trailed off, embarrassed. He put his hand on Nicky's hip. "Thank you." Nicky smirked. "You don't have to thank me," he said. "Another part of the whole whore thing, you know." Gabriel lowered his eyes, a little embarrassed. "I want to anyway." He decided he was going to give Nicky more than five hundred dollars. Even what they'd done so far was well worth it. He wanted to know more about Nicky, but he wasn't sure if he should ask. He didn't know the rules. "You're sweet," Nicky said. "You're going to spoil me, you know." He leaned closer and nuzzled against Gabriel's cheek. Gabriel's heart started to pound faster. His instinct was to kiss Nicky, but then he remembered that he'd said no kissing. He wanted to spoil Nicky, but he kept his mouth shut. He'd probably never see him again. That made him sad. He settled for caressing Nicky's back. Nicky sucked on Gabriel's neck lazily, flicking his tongue against the smooth skin. "So isn't your girlfriend gonna wonder where you are tonight?" he asked hoarsely. Gabriel moaned. "She's out of town," he said, leaning back so Nicky could have more access. "We don't live together anyway." They didn't have sex, either. She wanted to wait 25
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until they were married, and to tell the truth, Gabriel didn't much care. Now he knew why. Just then there was a knock at the door. Nicky leaned back with a smile. "Shall I just wait in the bathroom until they're gone?" he asked. "That might be a good idea," Gabriel agreed sheepishly, and he got up and pulled his pants on. He waited for Nicky to disappear, then opened the door to admit the room service delivery. A few moments later, the meal was all set up on the sitting area and the server was gone. Then Gabriel called out, "Dinner is served!" Nicky sauntered out of the bathroom, still completely naked. He walked over to Gabriel and slid his arms loosely around him, giving him a sweet peck on the cheek. "Thanks," he said softly. Then he pulled up a chair and sat in front of his food, waiting politely for Gabriel to join him. Gabriel sat down, too, and stared at Nicky's food. "You can't possibly eat that much, it's bigger than you," he observed lightly. Nicky laughed and started cutting his steak. "I'll exert myself," he said, grinning. "Sex always makes me hungry. Especially good sex." He started to dig in, eating with as much lust as he'd had for sex. Gabriel watched Nicky with bemusement for a few moments, then went to the minibar. He opened it and perused the contents. "Beer? Something stronger?" He looked at the young man and blushed. "I'm not going to ask if you're 26
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old enough." Giving an underage person alcohol was the least of his crimes. Nicky laughed at that. "A beer is fine." He didn't volunteer his age. Gabriel grabbed two Heinekens and brought them to the table. He opened them and set one in front of Nicky. Nicky accepted the beer and took a swig. "If it makes you feel any better, I'd probably be drinking beer with or without you." He crossed his legs under the table and dug into his mashed potatoes. Gabriel took a deep drink of his beer before starting on his own food. He considered and discarded several questions, and then settled on, "Are you from L.A.?" Not that anyone was really from L.A. Nicky was concentrating quite assiduously on the huge meal before him, so he barely glanced up when Gabriel spoke. "Not originally," he said around a mouthful of food. "I left home a couple of years ago." "You can tell me to fuck off if you don't want me asking questions," Gabriel said between bites of his hamburger. He was very curious about Nicky, though. Nicky shrugged, taking another drink of beer between bites. "I don't care. Ask whatever you want. I grew up in eastern Colorado. My family was kinda straight-laced. Or, you know, pompous hypocrites, whichever way you wanna look at it." Gabriel laughed. "Yeah, I know the type," he said. "My parents worked a lot. My grandmother helped raise me. She 27
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was the definition of conservative." He didn't usually bring up the past, though. It was too painful. Nicky nodded. "Looks like you stuck it out okay, though. Are you like rich or something?" he asked. Gabriel shook his head. "Not rich, no. Not compared to some. But I have enough money to hopefully see you again some time," he added. Nicky swallowed down a juicy chunk of lobster tail, washing it down with another sip of beer. "If you have the cash, you could see me every night," he said, the corner of his full lips twitching up a little. "I wish," Gabriel said without thinking, then flushed. He didn't think Renee would take kindly to that, and there were a dozen other reasons he really shouldn't do this again. "Well, you know where to find me," Nicky said as he finished off his meal, leaving the plate completely empty. He wiped his mouth with the starched white napkin. "I could give you my cell number if you want." "I'd like that," Gabriel replied immediately. He yawned, then said, "Why don't we lie down for a bit? I'm sure by the time we wake up I'll be energized again." Nicky smiled. "That sounds perfect." He got up and padded over to the bed. He pulled back the covers and slid between them. Gabriel turned off the lights before getting into the bed with Nicky. He sighed. The bed felt exquisite. So did the man next to him. He couldn't help but move closer, pressing against him. 28
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Nicky settled against the other man. He rested his head on Gabriel's broad shoulder and his hand on his chest. And in a moment he was sound asleep. Gabriel dozed off a few moments later. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Two It was still dark when Gabriel woke a couple hours later. His arm was wrapped tightly around Nicky, and it felt so good that he didn't want to move. He listened to Nicky's even breathing, feeling as if he never wanted to go back to his real life. As though sensing Gabriel had woken, Nicky stirred. He inhaled deeply and slowly, his face nestled in the crook of Gabriel's neck. He smiled against the other man's skin. "Wanna go again?" he purred. That soft voice sent a jolt of pure lust through Gabriel's body, ending in his cock. He was suddenly wide awake, and his cock was waking fast. "Mmm, yes. But we're not in any hurry, are we? Would you like to take a shower with me?" Wet, naked Nicky sounded lovely right now. "Do I smell?" he teased. "Yeah, a shower would be great. I'll go run the water." He slid out of the bed and padded to the bathroom. Gabriel's eyes were locked on the younger man's ass. Gabriel stretched for a moment before slipping out of the bed and following Nicky into the bathroom. Like the room, it was small but well-appointed. Everything was fashioned from ivory marble and chrome, and the towels were soft and plentiful. Steam was already coming from the shower, and Gabriel smiled. "I like it hot," he said, stepping closer. 30
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"Perfect," Nicky said, smiling over his shoulder as he stepped in. "So do I." He stood under the flow of water and drenched himself thoroughly. Gabriel leaned against the shower door and just watched Nicky for a long moment. The young man was stunningly beautiful, he really was. Gorgeous enough to be a model or an actor. He shouldn't be wasting his life this way. Gabriel sighed. It wasn't his business, and he couldn't be altruistic when he was standing here naked with a massive hard-on for him. He stepped into the shower finally, pressing close against Nicky, getting wet but also harder. Nicky smiled and pressed back against him. He tipped his head back against Gabriel's shoulder. "Did you want something?" he asked. Wrapping his arms around Nicky, Gabriel grinned. "I want you. Over and over." He ran his hands over the other man's slim, pale body, pressing his hard cock against his back. He loved how small Nicky felt in his arms, delicate but still male. Gabriel was over six feet tall, and quite muscular, and Nicky made him feel even stronger. He made him feel incredible. Nicky started rubbing soap over his own chest and up Gabriel's arms. He turned slowly and bit the side of Gabriel's neck as he started to lather up more of Gabriel's skin. "Mmm, over and over, huh? I might have to take tomorrow off to rest," he said, grinning. Gabriel's hands slipped down to Nicky's firm ass. He wished he could give him enough money to take the day off. But he'd probably take the money and work anyway. He pushed those thoughts out of his mind and concentrated on 31
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the matter at hand. In his hands, actually. He ground against him, groping the smaller man's ass, slipping his fingers into his cleft. Again, he had to stifle the urge to crush his mouth to Nicky's. He wanted to claim his mouth as he claimed his body. But he held back. Nicky whimpered, pressing his hips back, encouraging Gabriel to touch. "Here? Against the wall? Fuck me like a whore?" he asked. "Not just yet," Gabriel purred, sliding one finger inside Nicky. "I want to take my time." He thought perhaps after climaxing twice he might have a little more control. It wasn't easy, though, when you had your fantasy in your arms, flesh to flesh. Nicky gasped and rested his cheek against Gabriel's shoulder. He moaned and arched his back. "Mm, that feels, oh God, Gabriel." Gabriel could feel Nicky hard against him, so he knew he wasn't faking completely. He wasn't sure why he felt such a burning need to please the whore he'd paid for, but he wanted the mutual pleasure. He moved his finger in and out, trying to rub against Nicky's prostate. He really liked the way Nicky leaned against him. Nicky whimpered loudly, pressing more insistently against him. His body trembled and his fingers gripped Gabriel's impressive biceps. "Ohhhh, God. Feels good, baby," he panted. Nicky's desire made Gabriel even hotter, more eager to make the other man moan. He was more than happy to take his time. They had hours yet. He added another finger as if he 32
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was prepping Nicky. With his other hand, he gripped the other man's ass, keeping their bodies pressed closely together. Nicky was gasping desperately for breath now. He clung to Gabriel, moaning and wriggling against him. "Does it feel good, pretty boy?" Gabriel whispered, his cock throbbing with need to take him again. "Do you want more?" It was ridiculous to think that this prostitute wanted him, but Gabriel believed. He was lost in the fantasy now, and he loved it. "Yesss, please, Gabriel. Please fuck me," he rasped. He leaned up against him, and stroked his tongue along his ear. "Please," he breathed hotly. "Need your cock." Moaning, Gabriel withdrew his fingers and moved his hands underneath Nicky's ass, lifting him easily. He pulled him up, their bodies rubbing deliciously, so Nicky could wrap his legs around him. Nicky automatically pulled his knees up. He wrapped his long slender legs around Gabriel's waist. He nuzzled along Gabriel's jaw, kissing lightly across his skin. Gabriel groaned, letting his head fall back. This was so much more intense than anything he'd ever experienced, and he knew he was going to want more and more. He reached out blindly and turned off the water, then stepped out of the shower, still carrying Nicky. He carried him over to the bed, dripping water as he went. Nicky held on, arms around Gabriel's neck, legs around his waist. He buried his face in Gabriel's damp hair, panting against his ear. 33
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Gabriel lay him down gently on the bed, kneeling over him. He looked down at the pretty man, licking his lips. "You make me insatiable," he said. "There's more condoms there," he said, glancing at the bedside table where he'd left them. "Take me, baby. I'm all yours." Gabriel whimpered. He reached over and grabbed a foil pack and the lube, and sat back to put them on. Nicky leaned up on his elbows, watching Gabriel hungrily. "I'll have to stock up on extra large if you come back again," he said hoarsely. "Is that a complaint?" Gabriel smirked, leaning back down over Nicky. "I'll bring my own if you want." The idea of seeing Nicky again was becoming inevitable. Nicky smiled up at him. "You know there's only so much pocket space in those jeans." He lay back, pulling his knees up high. Moving into position, Gabriel pressed the head of his cock against Nicky's entrance. "I like your jeans that way," he breathed. "But mostly I like them off of you." He supported himself on one arm as he entered slowly. Nicky moaned. He relaxed his body as Gabriel penetrated him slowly. He ran his hands gently over his chest, gazing up into his eyes. It was more intimate this way, and Gabriel had never realized the difference. He felt even more connected to Nicky, even deeper inside him. Nicky's body gripped him, hot and tight, and he moved as slowly as he could to make it last. 34
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Nicky's eyes widened and he gasped softly. He bit his bottom lip for a moment. "So big, Gabriel. Feels so full," he murmured. Gabriel had never been so glad to be well-endowed. He wanted nothing more than to please this pretty man. He gazed into Nicky's pale eyes and said, "You feel so good, Nicky. So tight." He moaned softly as the pleasure built. Nicky whimpered and pulled his legs up around him again. He curled his fingers over Gabriel's shoulders, clamping his body down tightly around him. When he felt the increased tightness, Gabriel almost lost control. He thrust in a bit harder, faster. He was panting now, and he concentrated on holding back. He looked at Nicky's pretty face—his pale, cold eyes, his straight, delicate nose, his obscenely full lips. "Oh, God," he moaned, the words escaping him like a prayer. Nicky raised his chin, panting, lips parted. He stared steadily into Gabriel's eyes, fingers lacing into his soft brown hair. "Yeah. I agree." Gabriel had never wanted anything more than he wanted to kiss Nicky at that very moment. He felt so close, and he had to forcibly remind himself that he was not making love with this man. He'd paid him for sex. He was a prostitute, not a lover. He closed his eyes briefly, getting his burgeoning emotions under control. He thrust faster, feeling an inexplicable loss. Nicky stroked his fingers over Gabriel's face. "What's wrong?" he asked hoarsely. 35
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"Nothing," Gabriel said after a moment, looking into Nicky's eyes again. He certainly couldn't tell him. "You're too amazing. You make me lose control," he finally said. Nicky licked his lips. "Touch me?" Gabriel nodded, slipping his hand between them as he drove harder into him. He wrapped his hand around Nicky's cock and stroked quickly. Nicky moaned deeply and closed his eyes for a moment. "Oh, fuck," he hissed. "So good, Gabriel. I, please. Can I come?" he asked. How did this man know just how to get to him? Nicky was pushing every button Gabriel had, and he was lost in his fantasy. "Yes," he gasped, beginning to lose his rhythm. "Come, baby." Nicky cried out Gabriel's name and pulsed over his fingers, his body tensing as he came. Gabriel kept pounding as Nicky came, and stared at his pretty face intently. "Nicky," he moaned, biting his lip. He held back only a little longer, then let climax take him. The world narrowed to his cock and Nicky's face. Nothing else mattered. Nicky relaxed back into the mattress, drawing a deep, shaky breath. His breathing gradually slowed and he smiled sleepily up at Gabriel. Gabriel didn't want to move, but with his last ounce of strength he pulled out and threw away the condom. Then he lay on the bed next to Nicky. "Are you all right?" he asked. Nicky turned toward him, propping his head up on his hand. "Yes, but I think it might be a couple of hours at least 36
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before I'm up for any more," he said quietly. "Guess I'm not as young as I used to be." Gabriel raised an eyebrow, mouth quirking up in a smile. "Oh, right, you're practically ancient," he agreed, pushing the wet comforter off the bed and pulling up the sheets. He wanted to ask how long Nicky had been doing this. He had a feeling it hadn't been long. He'd dealt with prostitutes before, on a legal level, and most of them seemed dull somehow, victims content to let the tides of life push them around. Nicky rolled his eyes. "Well, obviously it's not a job you can do forever, but if you stay in shape you have more time than, say, a pro football player." He smirked. "Chicks can still sell their saggy old asses into their forties sometimes, but they don't make as much." Gabriel wrinkled his nose. "Thanks for the visual," he smirked, running his hand down over Nicky's shapely ass. "I don't think you'll ever have that problem." He was surprised; Nicky was able to joke about what he did. Nicky laughed. "Well, not for a few years yet, anyway. You, on the other hand. You'd be perfect for a porno film," he said, grinning. He nuzzled into Gabriel's neck with a sleepy sigh. "I'll keep that in mind," Gabriel laughed softly. "I'm not that big, you know. You make me seem like Ron Jeremy or something." He was secretly happy that Nicky seemed impressed with it, though. He moved his hand to Nicky's back, caressing the soft skin.
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"Ooh, up on your porn trivia, huh? I was thinking more John Holmes," he teased. He leaned back at little, looking into Gabriel's eyes. Blushing, Gabriel gazed back. "I haven't watched all that much," he admitted. "It doesn't do that much for me." None of the men in the videos ever looked like Nicky. Nicky smirked. "Well, it's kinda like doctors watching ER or lawyers watching Law & Order, you know? We in the sex industry like to have at least a passing knowledge of our porn," he said, winking cheekily. Gabriel laughed. Nicky kept surprising him with his wit and candor. "I don't watch Law and Order," he protested. "They get too much stuff wrong, it annoys me." He realized suddenly that he's just given away his profession. "Oh, so I better hope you're a lawyer, 'cause the alternative is that you're a cop, and that would just be a real damn shame," he said, smiling. "I'm a lawyer," admitted Gabriel. He wasn't sure why he felt ashamed to admit that. But he'd been, on the whole, fairly law-abiding up to this point. Nicky put his hand on Gabriel's cheek. "Don't worry. I'm not gonna report you to the bar. I didn't mean to pry." He leaned close and gave Gabriel a little peck on the cheek. "Let's sleep a little, okay? I think we can get in one more before the night's up." Gabriel couldn't help it. He was touched by Nicky; he continually surprised him. Not that he'd had any experience hiring prostitutes, of course. He just hadn't thought beyond the sex. "I hope so," he sighed. "You're amazing." 38
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"I'm not really." He shifted around, facing away from Gabriel and spooning back against him. Gabriel pressed up against him, wrapping his arm around Nicky. "Customer's always right," he pointed out, yawning. Nicky giggled, sounding young. "Okay," he murmured sleepily. In a few moments his breathing evened out and he was fast asleep. **** They woke a few hours later, with the sun peeking through a gap in the blinds. Gabriel was aroused when he woke, his hard cock pressing into the cleft of Nicky's ass. When the younger man wriggled deliberately against him, they were off again, and Gabriel took Nicky from behind. They showered, and Nicky once again brought Gabriel to arousal, and he dropped to his knees to suck him. When they finally got dressed, Gabriel paid Nicky his five hundred dollars, plus an extra two hundred. With the extra money, Nicky volunteered to get a taxi home, and Gabriel drove home alone with his thoughts. It was a Saturday, so Gabriel wasn't in a hurry to get home. He was lost in thought as he pulled into the parking garage under his apartment building. Last night had been, by far, the single most satisfying encounter of his life. It had taken a long time for him to get the courage up to actually do it, but it had been more than worth it. The question was, had it scratched the itch? Or would that need return? He had Nicky's cell phone number saved on his Blackberry, but he didn't know if he would use it again. 39
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He unlocked the door to his apartment, feeling like he had changed since he'd last left it. Then he stood stunned into immobility. His fiancée Renee was on the phone, sitting on Gabriel's couch. "Yes, Daddy, the flight was fine. No, I've been home already, but I'm not in the least tired." When she saw Gabriel step inside she smiled and waved excitedly. "Oh, I have to go, Daddy. Gabriel's here. See you tonight. Kisses." She flipped her cell phone closed and stood, crossing to Gabriel and throwing her arms around his neck. "There you are!" "Renee!" Gabriel finally stuttered. "You're home!" The expected guilt didn't hit him, but he still felt odd. Displaced somehow. He finally remembered to bring his arms up to hug her back. She felt so different in his arms. She was quite slender, but definitely female, soft curves where Nicky had been sharp angles. Renee kissed him on the cheek. "Paris was just dreadful without you, my Gabriel. I couldn't stay away. Did you miss me?" she asked, beaming at him. "Of course," Gabriel replied automatically, his mind struggling to catch up. He wondered how long she'd been here. He couldn't breathe. He had showered, but he still felt Nicky all over him. Renee pulled back. "It's so early. What are you doing today? I was thinking we could have lunch together and then maybe shop for tuxedos," she said, grinning. Gabriel scrambled to think of a lie. "I went out with some of the guys from work, and I had a little too much to drink," he explained, hoping it sounded plausible. "And I know how 40
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much you worry when I drink and drive, so I crashed at Julian's house. Sorry, I had no idea you were waiting." Renee blinked. "Sweetie! You don't have to tell me where you were. I trust you!" She shook her head and sauntered into the kitchen. "You want me to make you some coffee, baby doll?" "Um, sure," Gabriel said, running his hand through his hair. "So, why did you come home so early? Were you not having fun?" She set to work in the kitchen as if it was her own. "Oh, it was all right. You know. It's just a lot of shopping and fancy food." She shrugged her shoulders. "I need to be here taking care of my baby." It was surreal, being here with Renee after his decadent night with the most beautiful man he'd ever met. He watched her bustle around, amazed that nothing seemed different to her. He felt like a different person. "Gabe, sweetie, you look a little pale. When was the last time you ate anything?" She poured them both a cup of coffee and moved to sit on the couch again, patting the seat next to her. Accepting the coffee, he sat down beside her. As he did so, his now-sensitive cock shifted in his pants and he winced at the reminder. "I, um, we had dinner. Last night." He cleared his throat, desperate to change the subject. "When did you decide to come back? Does your father know? I talked to him yesterday and he didn't mention it." "It was a surprise, silly. I called Daddy this morning. I just stopped at my own place to drop off my bags and then I 41
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came straight here to you." She patted Gabriel's thigh. "And besides, if I'd stayed the entire time I was supposed to, I might have missed your big press conference coming up when you win the case." She leaned in and kissed his cheek again, then wiped off a smudge of lipstick. Gabriel rolled his eyes. "I haven't won yet, Renee. You know that. The press conference may not even happen. Closing arguments aren't until Monday." This was another high-profile case, like the one that had gotten him his relative fame. An aging actor, accused of murdering his much younger mistress. The press had been all over it. "But you know you will, right? Daddy's counting on you, sweetie. Now, about that shopping I mentioned earlier. Do you have time today? There's a fabulous tuxedo shop on Rodeo. Every time I pass by it I think how amazingly dreamy you're going to look in one." Gabriel sighed. Renee's father was the mayor, and an old friend of the man he was defending. Nothing like a little more pressure than the press and his firm was already putting on him. They all expected a repeat of his previous performance, and Gabriel just hoped he could deliver. "Can't you just order me one, honey? You know my size. I hate shopping." They were engaged, but the wedding was still months off. It had all sort of snuck up on him, and though he was having second thoughts, he knew that Renee had her heart set on a big fancy wedding. A marriage to the mayor's daughter would seal his career. She was a sweet girl. But Gabriel had some big secrets. 42
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Renee pouted. "But I want to see it on you. It's so far away, and I just want to imagine what it'll be like to walk down the aisle and see you standing there waiting for me," she whined. "And you should really have some input. Buying a tux is an investment, and you might have to wear it to other things in the future. It should be something you like, baby." A small shiver of guilt hit him then, but more than that he felt trepidation. "All right," he said, resigned. He wished he could have a lover like Nicky. But he couldn't. He loved Renee, or thought he did, and it was the right thing to do for his life and his career. He sipped his coffee, thinking of the naughty things he and Nicky had done. It would have to be enough to sustain him. That had been the idea, hadn't it? To get it out of his system? He hoped it had worked. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Three He should have known he couldn't stay away. He'd hoped that the one night had scratched the itch, but it had only seemed to inflame it more. He dreamed of Nicky, waking up hard and aching. He thought about him at odd times, thinking he could catch his scent. He knew he was obsessed, with a male prostitute, of all things. If he could just have him once more—well, one more night, anyway—and take him multiple times, maybe he could get it out of his system. Even he didn't believe that, deep down, but it didn't stop him from thinking about him. He had Nicky's cell phone number, but he didn't want to use it just yet. It seemed more premeditated that way. Instead, he chose to drive past what he thought of as Nicky's street. His heart started pounding at the first deliberate turn he made in that direction, and the closer he got, the more he knew he was hooked. Gabriel drove down the street where he'd seen Nicky the first time. Odds were, he wasn't even here now. But as he approached, he saw him. It was unmistakably Nicky. Nicky was standing by the lamppost in the middle of the block where he'd been before. Two other young men flanked him, like a flock of tropical birds in the unnatural light. Instead of his minimalist black, he wore red vinyl knee-high platform boots, white Spandex shorts with black stripes that left nothing to the imagination, and a shiny black vinyl vest that neither closed nor reached his waist. Around his neck 44
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was a sparkly red dog collar, and his lips were painted a lurid red. To all appearances, he could have stepped out of a 1970's tour bus for some tacky glam rock band. The others with him looked much the same, and for a moment Nicky seemed not to notice the car approach as they laughed over something together. Then he turned and his eyes fell on the sleek black car. He sauntered toward it, his hips swaying in exaggerated movements from the height of his shoes. Gabriel's mouth was a desert, and his heart hammered in his chest. Nicky was even hotter this way, as tacky and artificial as he was. Something about it just made Gabriel desperate for him. Was it the tight, revealing clothes? The makeup? He didn't know, but he had to have him. He rolled down the window and stared, speechless. Nicky leaned on the edge of the door. "You again?" he said, smiling flirtatiously. "I was actually going to run home and change. Can you wait?" he asked lightly. "No!" Gabriel said a little hastily, then got hold of himself. "I mean. I could wait, but." His voice dropped. "I like you like that." He was ashamed of himself, but he wanted Nicky badly. "You look amazing." Nicky laughed. "Really?" He pulled open the door and slid inside. "You're a kinky bastard, aren't you?" he teased. Gabriel could feel that he was blushing, but he was also fully hard. "Apparently," he said, barely waiting for the door to close before he drove off. He was learning all sorts of things about himself. He really was a kinky bastard. He turned and looked at Nicky, moaning out loud at the heavy makeup, especially the lipstick, which made his already sinful 45
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mouth even hotter. "God," he moaned. He'd never seen anything so erotic. Nicky smiled and slid closer to Gabriel across the seat. "Having trouble, baby? Do you need some help?" he purred, resting his fingers lightly on Gabriel's knee. "You like the lipstick, don't you? You wanna see my lips wrapped around that big thick cock of yours?" Gabriel could only nod, and now those red lips were all he could think of. If he'd thought this one night with Nicky was going to get it out of his system, he was completely wrong. He was the hardest he'd ever been, and he hoped he remembered the way to the hotel. "Please," he panted, convinced his cock was about to drill a hole in his trousers. "You're so hot." Nicky's fingers started tugging open Gabriel's pants. "Look at you, all hot and bothered for me," he breathed. "I'm not gonna disappoint you, Gabriel. I'm gonna give you exactly what you want. Just don't drive us off the road, okay? Maybe you should pull over for a minute if you want to really fuck my dirty little mouth." He bent over Gabriel's lap and pushed the fabric back as best he could. "God yes," Gabriel groaned. Pulling over suddenly seemed like a really good idea. He wanted to fuck Nicky's mouth so badly he could barely think. He pulled into the parking lot of a mini mall, where all the storefronts were dark. He hoped it was safe enough, because he couldn't wait any more. He couldn't even process how much he wanted Nicky. It was blinding him. 46
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Nicky looked up at him, a wicked glint in his kohl-rimmed eyes. "You like that idea, don't you, baby?" He leaned over farther, tugging Gabriel's cock out of his pants. "Show me who's in charge, baby," he breathed hotly against the moistened flesh. He flicked his tongue over him before sucking him slowly into his mouth. Somehow Gabriel's hand was in Nicky's hair, and he cried out as that talented mouth took him in. "I'm in charge," he groaned, hand tightening. His hips rocked upward, seeking more hot, wet heat for his cock. "Take it, suck me, bitch," he moaned, eyes locked to those red, red lips wrapped around him. He needed this more than air. Nicky groaned around the cock in his mouth. He swallowed the thickness, turning his gaze up to Gabriel's face. The eye contact made it even better. Gabriel knew he wasn't going to last much longer. This was too perfect, too hot to last, but he wanted to enjoy every second. "Such a good cocksucker," he growled, shoving his cock up into Nicky's pretty mouth, knowing he could take it. He didn't care how much this cost him. He had to have it. The corners of Nicky's mouth turned up just slightly, though his lips were stretched around Gabriel. He hummed low in his throat as he swallowed him down until his nose scraped against the zipper. "Fuck," Gabriel gasped. He couldn't have stopped now if a bomb went off outside the car. Nothing else mattered. Just the hot mouth wrapped around his cock. "Nicky, God, yes, gonna..." He hoped that was warning enough, because 47
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suddenly he was coming so hard he almost lost consciousness. If Nicky was daunted, he didn't show it. He sucked Gabriel through it, swallowing down every drop of come. After a moment, he let Gabriel's cock slide from his lips and straightened. He flipped down the visor and checked his lipstick, then smiled at the other man. Gabriel slumped back against the seat, breathing hard. He stared at Nicky, still stunned by the ecstasy he'd given him. His knees were weak and he wasn't sure he could even work the clutch right now. "Wow. That was..." He didn't even have the words. Nicky moved close to him again. He put his head on Gabriel's shoulder. "Are you all right?" he asked, nuzzling his jaw. Gabriel cleared his throat. "All right doesn't really cover it," he said a little sheepishly. "Thank you," he added after a moment. He wanted to get to the hotel but he needed a moment to gather his wits. How was it that this young man stole his reason? Nicky slid his hand around Gabriel's middle. "The way you lost control was really hot. Did you like treating me like that?" he asked, voice soft and hoarse. The fact that Nicky seemed to be into it as much as he was part of why Gabriel craved this so much. "I, oh God. It was so good. I didn't hurt you, did I?" He hated to think he had been choking Nicky, but a deeper part of him liked even that idea.
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Nicky leaned back and smiled. "No. I'm used to a lot worse. Don't worry about it." He sat back. "Are we going to a hotel? Or are we done?" he asked. Gabriel's expression fell a little. He wanted much more. "I was hoping to go to a hotel, spend all night with you again," he said. "But, if you have other plans..." He was disappointed, to say the least. Nicky clearly wanted rid of him. "No. That's fine. I've got nothing else. I just wasn't sure if you wanted to, is all," he said. "Of course I want to," Gabriel replied, unable to summon any guile at all. "I want you all night." He finally thought he could drive, and he began to back out of the lot. Luckily it wasn't far to the hotel. Nicky nodded. "Cool. Although I'll probably get more looks at that fancy hotel dressed like this," he said. He crossed his legs, showing off a sinfully bare thigh and the slinky boots. Gabriel looked over and whimpered, his cock trying to twitch to life. "I don't care," he said. "I like you this way. A lot." That was an understatement. He was already on the way to recovering. Nicky smirked. "I can dress however you like if you give me a little notice," he offered. "Why don't you tell me what your naughty fantasies are? I bet I can fulfill them. Anyway, I can certainly try." Gabriel considered it. "Oh, God. So many things. I like you dressed like this. Makeup. Maybe even," he wasn't sure if he could even say this out loud, it was so depraved, "if you wore a skirt." He'd never told anyone this before; barely admitted it to himself. 49
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"Oooh, a skirt, hm? I know a store that might have one on the same block as that hotel," Nicky murmured. "Buy me a skirt and I'll wear it for you. Would you like that?" Gabriel was panting now, getting harder and harder. "Fuck yes," he breathed, driving as fast as possible. He could almost see it now. "Want to fuck you in a skirt, Nicky." "There," he said, pointing to a lingerie and costume shop. "I'm sure they'll have something you'll like. Maybe a schoolgirl kind of thing? Hm?" he suggested, wiggling his eyebrows. Gabriel's breath hitched. "Fuck. Yeah." He hadn't even thought of that. The very idea was unbearably hot. He pulled into a parking space and pulled his wallet out. "I don't think I'd better come in," he said. He pulled out a hundred dollar bill. "Will that be enough?" The last thing on his mind was cost. "Sure, handsome. I'll be right back." Nicky hopped out of the car with the cash and disappeared into the store. Ten long minutes later he emerged with a small shopping bag. He slid back into the car. "All set," he said with a grin. Gabriel eyed the small bag, aching to see what was inside it. He didn't bother to ask for the change. He only wanted to get Nicky alone. He drove to the hotel and parked, going to check in. He tried not to act nervous, but the girl behind the front desk was too busy talking on the phone to notice anything amiss. Gabriel got the key, and went to signal Nicky. Nicky met him at the elevator and they went up to the room. As soon as they were through the door, Nicky headed 50
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for the bathroom. "No peeking. I'll just be a minute." He closed the door behind him. Gabriel was beside himself. He didn't know whether to sit or stand, watch TV, or stare out the window. He'd barely admitted any of his kinks to himself, and here he was paying a prostitute to fulfill them. For the second time. Once could have been a fluke. Lots of people did it; it wasn't called the world's oldest profession for nothing. But twice? He knew he'd do it again, though. All he had to do was picture Nicky, and think about what he would look like when he came out, and he knew he would need this over and over. Finally, the bathroom door opened, and Nicky stepped out. He'd taken off the boots, but in their place he had on white knee socks. The skirt was dark blue and green plaid and pleated, though extremely short. Completing the outfit was a white button-down shirt, untucked. He stood with his hands demurely clasped in front of him. Gabriel's jaw dropped. "Hi," Nicky said shyly. Gabriel could only stare. Nicky was something out of his deepest, most depraved fantasies. The young man was slender and pretty enough that had he really tried, he could probably pass for a girl, but Gabriel knew he wasn't. He knew there was a cock under that very short skirt, and it made it all the better. He'd thought he was hard before, but it was nothing compared to this. He couldn't even speak, just groaned, and moved closer. Testosterone flowed through his veins. He needed to touch, but he was almost afraid of losing control. 51
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Nicky looked expectantly at him. "Is this all right?" he asked quietly. He twisted his fingers together, fidgeting a little. "It's," Gabriel had to swallow a few times before he could speak, "it's perfect. You're perfect." He took another step closer. His gaze ravished Nicky, taking in every delicious inch, and he finally had to ask. "What are you wearing under the skirt?" Nicky's lips twitched. "Shall I lift my skirt and show you?" he asked breathily. He stared intently into Gabriel's eyes. "I'm a very naughty girl, you know," he added in a hoarse whisper. Gabriel had no experience with role playing, but he got the idea. "Why are you a naughty girl?" he asked, heart pounding along with his cock. He wanted Nicky to lift his skirt badly, more than anything he'd ever wanted before. Nicky stepped a little closer, tugging on one of Gabriel's shirt buttons and lowering his eyes demurely. "The nuns would beat me with a ruler if they knew I was in a hotel room with a strange man," he whispered. Nicky was so perfect Gabriel was afraid to touch him, as if he might dissolve. He was getting into the role now. "But I'm not a strange man, we've met before," he pointed out. He stared at Nicky. "You're so pretty. I really need to know what you're wearing under that skirt. Will you be a good girl and show me? I have to make sure it's part of the regulation uniform." Nicky took half a step back. He took hold of the edge of the little plaid skirt. "You won't tell anyone, will you?" He 52
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pulled the skirt up just an inch, showing the very top of one pale thigh. "Never," Gabriel breathed, gaze fixed to the exposed skin. It wasn't as if he'd never seen Nicky naked before. This was different. More erotic. More tantalizing and forbidden. Perfect. There was no other word for Nicky. "Please. I need to see." Nicky lifted the hem of the skirt up, revealing plain white cotton panties. They were stretched in the front where his hard cock was straining at the thin fabric. He nibbled on his full lower lip and lowered his eyes again. "They came with the uniform, sir. I'm sure they are regulation." "Oh, God," Gabriel said, his voice cracking. He hoped he remembered this moment forever because it was the single most perfect thing he had ever seen. He didn't know why, he just knew that this pretty boy in a skirt, visibly aroused through plain cotton panties, was something he would never, ever forget. He lost control then and grabbed Nicky, pulling him against him with one hand on the young man's ass and one on his back. He pressed Nicky to him, squeezing him through the panties. He barely held back from crushing his mouth to his, remembering that he didn't want to kiss. Nicky whimpered and pressed his lips to the side of Gabriel's neck. "Oh," he said, sounding startled. "I told you I was a bad girl," he breathed. He rocked his hips back and forth, rubbing against the answering bulge in Gabriel's suit pants. Moving his hands all over Nicky, Gabriel growled, "Yes, I can see that now." He couldn't even think straight, he wanted so much. The role was everything now. "And do you know 53
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what happens to bad girls? All alone in a hotel room with a man who is much bigger than her?" Nicky's breath hitched. "I ... are you going to p-punish me?" he asked, panting now. He looked into Gabriel's eyes, his own large and a bit scared. "Oh yes," Gabriel nodded. "I am going to punish you. This kind of infraction requires serious punishment." Just talking about it was so hot that he didn't know how he was going to hold back. He released Nicky. "Go to the bed. Bend over and put your hands on it." He'd never done anything remotely like this before, but he didn't have to think about it. It was perfect. Nicky swallowed hard and moved quickly, scurrying like a frightened schoolgirl. He bent over the bed, bracing his hands on it. The short skirt rode up in the back, revealing the pure white panties again, stretched over his ass. Gabriel just looked for a moment, mouth dry as a desert. Then his throbbing cock urged him into action. He stepped closer, and stood behind Nicky. "I'm sure that skirt is shorter than regulation," he mused. He ran his fingers up the back of Nicky's thighs and over the panties. The textures were something he knew he would feel in his dreams. Nicky squirmed. "But it was way too long before. I took it up. It looks better this way," he protested. He arched his back, making the skirt hike even higher on his ass. "Oh, it does, does it?" Gabriel purred. "Have you been flirting with the boys again? Showing off that pretty body to entice them?" His fingers trailed over the cotton panties, and he shivered at the delicious contrast. 54
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"It's not my fault that they look at me," he said, pouting. His hips rocked back and forth, ever so slightly. "I can't help looking this way. I can't stop them from touching me when they corner me alone." Gabriel pretended to gasp. "You let them touch you?" he demanded, and part of his pretended anger was real possessiveness, he could tell. His finger traced Nicky's cleft through the cotton and asked, "Where do they touch you? You must tell me." Nicky gasped again. He let out a little whimper, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. "They ... ohh ... um ... they like to put their grubby hands inside my panties," he confided. "They said if I told anyone, they'd just say I asked them to." Gabriel didn't know how he was holding back this long. Maybe because the game was so perfect. He cupped Nicky's firm ass in his hands and said, low and dangerous, "Do you like it when they put their hands inside your panties, you bad girl?" Nicky whimpered again. "Y-yes," he croaked. "But it's not as nice as the way you're touching me." He pressed his ass back a little, shifting his feet to spread them farther apart. Gabriel reached around the front of Nicky, rubbing at his hard cock through the panties. "Do they touch you here as well?" he purred, just brushing his aching cock against Nicky's lovely ass. Nicky moaned and nodded. "Sometimes they do. Sometimes, I ... sometimes they ask me to t-take my panties off and show them," he added. 55
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Gabriel was panting now. "And," he asked, still rubbing at Nicky's erection, "do you let them do other things? Do you touch them?" Nicky licked his lips. "Sometimes I let them. I get on my knees and they put their cocks in my mouth and I suck them," he breathed. "Please don't tell anyone. I know it's a sin, but I can't help myself." "I think you need to show me what you do," Gabriel instructed. "It's very serious and I must be sure how to punish you." Nicky looked over his shoulder at Gabriel. "You want me to suck your cock, too?" he asked, his voice still breathy and innocent. "Yes," Gabriel said, trying to keep his voice even as he stared at those lips he couldn't seem to get enough of. "I must know what you did so I can punish you properly." Nicky licked his lips. "Okay." He straightened and turned toward Gabriel. He stared into the other man's eyes as he sank down onto his knees in front of him. His fingers started to work open his trousers, tugging them down. Eyes on the vision in front of him, Gabriel knew he could almost come from just watching Nicky. He had to summon all his control. He wouldn't be able to let Nicky go on very long, but he wanted that mouth again. Nicky pulled Gabriel's cock gently out of his shorts and gasped. "You, you're a lot bigger than those other boys," he said breathily. He wetted his lips elaborately and leaned in to his task. He circled his tongue around him slowly. 56
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Gabriel bit his lip. Nicky was the most erotic thing he'd ever imagined. He had never seen a mouth like that on anyone, and Nicky knew how to use it. He moaned as he felt the wet heat. Nicky sucked him in slowly, as if he wasn't an expert at it. His bright red lips stretched around Gabriel and he moaned quietly. It was too much. He needed to come inside Nicky. Needed to bury himself inside the younger man as if he might die without it. And right now it felt like he might. "Stop!" he commanded. "Stand up." He was panting hard now. Nicky pulled back and hopped to his feet. He looked at Gabriel, wide-eyed. "Didn't you like it?" he asked, wiping the corner of his mouth. He straightened his skirt, fidgeting again. "Whether I liked it is not the issue here," Gabriel said, summoning all his control. "Did the boys you did that to like it?" He lowered his eyes. "Yes," he said, "but they called me names after." He pouted. That pout even got to Gabriel. Nicky was playing him like a violin, but he wanted it. "What did they call you?" he asked, softening his tone a little. He stepped closer. "Slut. Tramp," he said. "I don't care what they say, though." He raised his eyes slowly to Gabriel's. "What else do they do to you?" Gabriel breathed. He was glad for this moment to compose himself, though. "Do you let them put their cocks in you?" He couldn't stop his gaze from roaming all over Nicky. 57
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Nicky bit his lip and nodded silently. "It ... I like the way it feels. I want them to do it all the time. Does that make me a bad girl?" he asked, searching Gabriel's eyes. Gabriel nodded and looked at Nicky. "A very bad girl," he confirmed. "I am going to have to punish you severely." Nicky gasped. "What are you going to do?" he asked, biting his lip again. "What do you suppose happens to naughty girls?" Gabriel said, his voice tight with need. "They get spanked?" he asked, breath hitching. Gabriel nodded, swallowing hard. "It's the only way you'll learn your lesson." The very idea was enough to make him tremble. Nicky nodded. "Okay," he said quietly. "I'll be a good girl. I promise. I'll do whatever you say." He licked his lips and stepped closer. "Yes, you will," Gabriel replied, aching for this young man. "You have no choice." He moved so that he loomed over Nicky, emphasizing their size difference. Nicky tipped his head back, looking directly into Gabriel's eyes. He nodded again. "I know," he said, voice breathy. Gabriel barely held back a whimper, and he said, "Go bend over the bed again. But this time," he had to swallow before saying the next words, his mouth was so dry with desire, "pull your panties down." Nicky was panting now, and he turned away. He took the few short steps over to the bed and bent over. He reached delicately under his skirt and tugged the thin cotton down 58
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until it was dangling between his knees. Then he braced his hands on the mattress again. Gabriel nearly came just watching that, and he knew this had to be a short punishment because he was going to die if he didn't get inside Nicky very soon. He had a condom and lube waiting in his pocket, so he was ready. He stepped closer, behind Nicky, and pushed up his skirt even farther. "You've been so very bad," he admonished, admiring Nicky's perfect ass. Nicky whimpered a little. He spread his legs as far as he could with the panties stretched tight between his knees. He arched his back, showing off more of his ass. "I'm sorry. I can't help myself," he said. "It just feels so good when boys touch me and fuck me." Groaning, Gabriel ran his hands over Nicky's pretty ass. "I shall have to teach you a lesson you won't forget, then," he said. "But have you ever had a man touch you? Not just a boy?" He was so far gone into the game he could barely think past it. Nicky shook his head. "No. My daddy makes me sit on his lap sometimes, but my mom always yells at him about it." This was so wrong, but Gabriel couldn't help himself. He spanked Nicky, not too hard to start. The pain wasn't the point. He ached to fill that beautiful body with his cock. And he would, very soon. The anticipation was wonderful. "You're very bad," he said, spanking again. Nicky let out a needy little sob, tensing his ass at the blows. "Oh," he panted, breath hitching. "I'm sorry. I'm so bad." 59
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"Yes, you are," Gabriel agreed, spanking again, stepping to the side a little so he could see Nicky's face. "You're a wanton little girl." Nicky gasped and looked over his shoulder at Gabriel. He mewled and arched his back, panting. "I just like to be touched," he said. "And fucked," Gabriel added. He spanked again. "You're a little slut who needs to know what it's like to be fucked by a real man." "Ohhh, yes, please, sir. I, oh God, please fuck me. Show me what a real man is like," he whimpered. Gabriel wanted it so badly he was shaking. He pulled the condom out of his pocket with one hand, still caressing Nicky's reddening skin, then spanked once more before pulling his cock out and sliding it on. He also had a small tube of lube and he applied it quickly. "You want my big, thick cock, Nicky? It might hurt." "Oh please. I want it sooooo bad. I need your cock," he gasped, pressing back. "Please, oh please fuck me." Gabriel could almost believe Nicky really wanted it. He believed enough, though, and he moved behind the younger man. He pressed the head of his cock against his exposed entrance, just teasing. He could feel the heat of Nicky's body even through the Latex. "Nicky," he panted. "Yes, oh God, please take me. Slam that big beautiful cock up inside me," he moaned, straining back toward him. And Gabriel did. He gripped Nicky's slim hips, then thrust in sharply, burying himself in one thrust. It was pure heaven, and he growled out Nicky's name. 60
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Nicky nearly fell forward onto the bed. He cried out, gripping the sheets. "Oh, fuck," he hissed when he could catch his breath. "So, oh God, so big." Gabriel pulled out and slammed back in savagely, something he could never do had Nicky been as innocent as he was pretending to be. "That's what a real man feels like," he growled. Nicky sobbed and held on. "Ohhh, f-fuck, feels like. Nnhhhhnnn, oh God yessssss," he cried, his slender body jolted with each thrust. Gabriel held Nicky's hips and pounded with abandon. He knew nothing would ever satisfy him like this, ever again. But right now he was lost in the moment Nicky's moans dissolved into helpless grunts. "Oh, God, Gabriel can I come?" he pleaded in a strangled voice. Gabriel was gratified to see that it was possible to shake Nicky's composure, if only by a good hard fuck. He wasn't about to deny him permission. "Yes," he groaned, still pounding hard. Nicky cried out and his body bucked and shuddered beneath Gabriel's larger frame. He came hard, nearly screaming Gabriel's name. Gabriel loved the sound of Nicky's unfaked passion. He knew that despite the game, this was real. Nicky tightened around him and he let himself reach climax at last. Each time was better than the last. Nicky leaned forward, resting his head on the mattress. He was panting hard, still. He stilled, a shiver of aftershock going through him. 61
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Gabriel didn't want to move. The little waves of pleasure were still running through him. "God," he whimpered, and finally pulled out. He put his hand on Nicky's back. "Are you okay?" he breathed. Nicky nodded. "Yeah," he whispered. "I'm okay." He crawled onto the bed and lay down on his stomach, the panties still down around his knees. "Mind if I rest for a few minutes?" Even now, after two spectacular climaxes, Gabriel felt lust toward Nicky. He kicked off his shoes and pants and started on his shirt. "Of course," he said hoarsely. "Do you want me to help?" He didn't know if Nicky wanted to take his clothes off. Nicky rolled over slowly and wriggled out of the panties. He rolled onto his back and started unbuttoning the shirt. "I kinda like the knee socks," he said with a grin. "So do I," admitted Gabriel, and then blushed. "Wow, I never knew that kink was quite so deep." He sat on the bed next to Nicky, still amazed at how beautiful the younger man was. Nicky grinned. "That was fun. Have you never done that before? You seemed perfectly natural at it." He wriggled out of the shirt and pulled one knee up, posing seductively in just the skirt and socks. Gabriel shook his head. "Never. I, um, have thought about it, of course. But when I saw you like that, I kinda lost control." He looked down, a bit ashamed at his depravity. Nicky rolled toward him, tugging on the buttons of Gabriel's shirt. "Are you blushing?" he asked. 62
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Gabriel looked up at him, then looked quickly down. "I don't know. Maybe." It was a little daunting to have an experience like that, and be introduced to how deep your obsessions ran. Nicky wriggled close to him and nudged Gabriel onto his back. He rolled partially on top of him, still wearing the short skirt. He rested his cheek on Gabriel's shoulder. "It was amazing, Gabriel. You don't have to be ashamed of it. It was really, really hot." Gabriel couldn't help it; in the aftermath of such an amazing climax he felt somewhat adrift. "Did you..." He knew it was a silly thing to ask. He was paying Nicky for this. "Did you like it? Really?" Nicky smirked. "Couldn't you tell? Anyway, the best whores are all wannabe actors, anyway." He nuzzled Gabriel's neck. Gabriel winced at the reminder. "I'm sorry if I got too rough," he breathed. "But God, you were so fucking perfect." To have a fantasy fulfilled so completely was amazing, and he was getting addicted quickly. Nicky sighed contentedly. "Mmm, wasn't too rough. It was amazing," he purred. "I'm glad it was what you wanted." "I didn't even know I wanted it, until I saw you," admitted Gabriel. "Then I could barely think. God." He shook his head. "You should come with a warning label." Nicky giggled at that. "Dangerous: May cause kinky fantasizing," he said, pressing kisses along Gabriel's jaw.
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Gabriel laughed. "Right. You should have it tattooed on you. Right here." He patted Nicky's firm ass. He was almost serious. Nicky was just his fantasy in so many ways. Nicky let out a little whimper and flinched away from Gabriel's touch. "Ow." He pressed his hips more firmly against Gabriel's thigh, his cock already starting to harden. "Sorry," Gabriel said, a little abashed. He hadn't realized he'd spanked that hard. But then he felt Nicky's cock and he moaned. He couldn't get aroused again quite yet, but he knew it wouldn't be long. "Can you stay the night?" he asked hopefully. "If you're paying for it, I can," he said, looking into Gabriel's eyes and smiling. He circled one finger idly around one of Gabriel's nipples. "Even though sometimes I feel like I should be paying you." Gabriel smiled. He wanted to believe Nicky, but he wasn't that far gone. Yet. "I'll pay you," he promised. Whatever it was, it was worth it for this. He knew he'd resist, but he'd be back for more. "You're amazing." It didn't seem sordid with Nicky. Nicky rested his head on Gabriel's shoulder again. "Then I'm all yours. Me and the dirty little schoolgirl." He chuckled lightly before his eyes fluttered closed and he drifted into a heavy sleep. Gabriel watched Nicky sleep for a few minutes, before drifting off himself. He felt far too much for this young man, and he knew it was going to be trouble. He just couldn't bring himself to stop. 64
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They woke a few hours later, and Gabriel took Nicky into the shower. He was just insatiable for him. He couldn't get enough. They ordered food, and fell asleep, and then Nicky sucked Gabriel's cock once more before they went their separate ways. Gabriel ached the rest of the day, and got very little work done. But he smiled a lot. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Four The trial was all over the newspapers, and on the evening news. The acquittal of a movie star was big news. Nicky was strolling down Hollywood Boulevard, casually sucking on an iced vanilla latte. He stopped in a store for cigarettes and picked up a newspaper. He read the cover for a moment before tossing it on the counter along with the smokes. Later that morning, the press was gathered on the courthouse steps awaiting the official announcement of the verdict. Nicky stood near the bottom, leaning back against a stretch limo that was waiting there, before the driver shooed him away. He moved closer, leaning on a lamppost. **** Gabriel took a deep breath before he stepped out into the glaring cameras. He never assumed anything, and right down to the wire he'd doubted his success on the case. But the jurors had said not guilty and here he was again, an echo of the last big case, and he was preparing to give his statement. When he'd decided he wanted to be a lawyer, he'd imagined himself putting criminals behind bars. But things hadn't quite worked out that way, and he'd ended up a defense lawyer. And a damn good one, apparently. He'd gotten a job offer from a big prestigious firm, mainly on the strength of the recommendation from the judge he'd clerked for in law school. Gabriel hadn't wanted to take it. He didn't want anything from that man, but he'd have been foolish to 66
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turn down that amount of money and that much potential. So he'd joined the firm and, after working on a few cases, the big one hit. He'd been sent to interview the defendant, and from there on the defendant had insisted he take the case or he would drop the firm. Gabriel had handled the first press conference with ease, surprising even himself, so the partners were convinced. The rest was history. This case wasn't quite as big, but it was close. The questions started rapid-fire as soon as he stepped out the door, but he ignored them all, intent on giving his statement first. **** Nicky took a few steps closer, climbing a few of the steps. He was still separate from the rest of the crowd, hanging far back, a lone figure off to one side. "...and once again, justice has been served in our great country," Gabriel finished. His statement given, Gabriel allowed questions. He picked and chose which ones to answer, but even as he answered one, he looked not only at the questioner but also at the other reporters. He knew he looked impressive on camera, towering over most everyone in his perfectly tailored Armani suit. It was all part of the game, and he'd learned it fast. He faltered, though, for just a second, when he spotted a slender, dark form near the bottom of the steps. The person seemed so familiar, though his mind was too occupied to process just who it was. He took a few more questions, 67
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glancing back occasionally at the figure, until recognition hit him like a cold knife to the gut. Nicky. His prostitute. The whore he'd paid to perform all sorts of illicit activities. Here. It couldn't be a coincidence. Nicky met Gabriel's gaze and nodded slightly. He stuffed one hand down in his pocket for a moment, smirking. Gabriel had no idea how he got through the rest of the press conference. His palms were so sweaty he nearly dropped his briefcase, and his heart pounded. Luckily, it was almost over, and he hoped no one noticed as he stumbled through a few more answers. He chanced another look at Nicky, but he was gone. No one was there at all, and Gabriel almost hoped he'd imagined seeing him there. But he knew in his heart that Nicky had been no hallucination. He was fucked. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Five A few nights later, after work, Gabriel went out for a drink with Julian, one of the junior partners he got along with. They went to a local pub where a lot of lawyers tended to congregate and at the bar, discussing various judges and prosecutors. After their second beer, Julian excused himself to take a leak. Someone tapped Gabriel on the shoulder on the opposite side. Gabriel looked over, then did a double-take, eyes wide. Nicky had waited for the seat beside him to empty, then slid into it. "What are you, I mean..." He looked around quickly, wondering if anyone was watching. Seeing Nicky here was terrifying. "Aren't you going to buy me a drink, Gabriel?" he asked. He patted him on back. "Don't look so surprised. I can go to normal bars, too, you know." Gabriel gaped at Nicky. He wore a white button down shirt, sleeves rolled up, a stringy little necklace, and snug blue jeans. He looked like any average college student, not at all out of place at the bar. Except that he was clearly too young to be there. But the bartender didn't seem concerned. Gabriel called him over and said, "What do you want?" "Sam Adams," he said casually. "Thanks," he said, giving Gabriel a smile. When the bartender brought his beer and moved away, Nicky leaned closer, lowering his voice. "I've 69
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missed you," he said quietly. "It seems like I've been seeing news about you all over." Gabriel swallowed hard. He was sure he wasn't imagining the veiled threat in that statement. He'd made a huge mistake, and now he was going to pay for it. "What do you want?" he said as softly as possible. Nicky smiled, feral. "I knew you were a smart one," he said. "I'd like to get to know you better, Gabriel. Maybe spend some more time together. Of course, someone with as much notability as you, and engaged to the mayor's daughter and all, I'd have to charge more." Gabriel held back a whimper. It was just like the movies, but this was dreadfully real. He cleared his throat, looking down at his beer. He felt like screaming and throwing things and having a childish temper tantrum, but then it had been giving in to his feelings that got him into this mess. He couldn't even get his mind around how screwed he was. Nicky knew who he was, knew everything about him. How stupid had he been, to go to a prostitute? Men did it all the time, he'd told himself. But he had to be the twisted one. With a female prostitute, he could have weathered that political storm, but not this. He had no choice but to agree to whatever Nicky wanted, at least for the time being. "Of course," he said. "I assume we need to meet somewhere to discuss this?" "Definitely. In fact, I really liked that hotel we went to. How about there?" he asked, taking a sip of his beer as if they were discussing football scores. 70
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Gabriel closed his eyes. "Sure. When? It seems like you're calling the shots here. You just tell me when. I'll just need to go by the bank." He opened his eyes, his heart aching. He'd felt more in that one night with Nicky than he'd had in all his years of sexual experience. It wasn't fair that that one perfect night would be his undoing as well. He'd been so thrilled to have found Nicky. It had all been a cruel joke. Nicky smirked. "Meet me there in an hour. Get a room. I'll be waiting in the lobby." He downed the rest of his beer and stood. "Don't worry about money yet. We'll talk about that when you get there. I know you're good for it." He patted him on the back and leaned close. "An hour. Don't be late, love." Gabriel cursed, then looked up. When he did, Nicky was gone. "Fuck." He was so screwed. Just then, Julian arrived back at the bar, grinning at Gabriel. "Man, you look like you saw a ghost," his friend said amiably. "Yeah, I feel like it, too," Gabriel muttered. "Look, Jules," he lied. "Renee just called. She needs me to do some wedding shit, is it okay if I bail out on you?" Julian chuckled. "Whipped already, huh? Sure, go ahead. See you Monday." Gabriel ducked out, heading for his car. He hit the ATM on his way to the hotel, withdrawing as much as he could, then called the hotel so they would have the room ready. He got there in forty-five minutes, checked in, then looked around the lobby. Nicky was off to one side speaking to an elegant but clearly older lady. She touched his chin and he blushed 71
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slightly, but then he disengaged himself. He glanced over, eyes meeting Gabriel's instantly. He turned and walked toward him with a smile. "Ready?" he asked lightly. Gabriel's eyes narrowed and he shocked himself by feeling a surge of jealousy at that exchange. He'd never felt jealous in his life. He pushed that aside, though, and pasted a smile on his face. "Friend of yours?" he asked softly as they walked toward the elevator. "Or just drumming up business?" Nicky shrugged. "Just a little harmless flirting," he said quietly as they got in the elevator. His lips twitched. "Pro bono work, if you will. Women of that age feel a little invisible sometimes." He stuffed his hands down in his pockets. "How magnanimous of you," Gabriel said tightly, punching the third floor button. Through his anger and conflicting emotions, he still couldn't stop himself from marveling at how fucking sexy Nicky was. The elevator arrived, and he led the way to the room. Nicky followed Gabriel to the room and stepped inside. He strolled over to the bed and sat down, leaning back on his hands. "You're angry," he said quietly. "You think?" Gabriel said, laughing humorlessly. "Why would I be angry? My life, that I have worked my ass off for, is over. Not that I expect you to care." He had been stupid to think that he could just get it out of his system, and get past it. Nicky rolled his eyes. "I didn't figure you for a big drama queen, Gabriel. How is your life over? No one has to know anything." He crossed his legs. "You make it sound like you're 72
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expecting me to extort hundreds of thousands of dollars from you. I know you're not that rich." "And I'm supposed to believe you're the hooker with a heart of gold, who will only blackmail me for what I can afford? Yeah, right." Gabriel crossed his arms. "Why don't we just get this over with and you tell me what you want." He was angry, but mostly at himself. But fuck, if Nicky didn't look incredible. He still wanted him. Nicky scowled. "Fuck off. If you're totally desperate you'll end up doing the 'right thing' and I'll end up in prison or worse, so don't try to manipulate me. It won't work." He stood up and stalked over to the minibar, helping himself to a tiny bottle of Jack Daniels and downing it in one gulp. Gabriel watched Nicky closely. "Okay, you've made your point. You're in charge. I'm at your mercy," he snarled, stalking closer to Nicky, towering over him by at least six inches. "Tell me what you want. How much?" He pulled out his wallet. "I'm sure I can give you a down payment right now." Nicky looked up at Gabriel and arched an eyebrow. "A thousand now will do," he said softly. Gabriel smiled. "Now we're talking." He pulled out ten hundred dollar bills. He all but shoved them in Nicky's pretty face. "You're lucky, that's about all I have on me." He wanted to push Nicky, hit him, fuck him. Nicky took the money and folded it neatly before putting it in the pocket of his jeans. "That wasn't so difficult, was it?" he asked, smirking. 73
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"Not for you, no," Gabriel smirked, not backing up. "So, does my first payment get me anything? Any special privileges?" He should walk out now, hope Nicky didn't come back soon. But he couldn't leave it alone. Nicky smirked. "Well, what do you want, Gabriel?" He let his hand rest on Gabriel's chest. "Maybe we can work something out," he said, barely above a whisper. "What do you think I want?" Gabriel snapped. "Why did I pay you in the first place?" He still wanted Nicky, and it infuriated him. Nicky took a deep breath. "You want to punish me, don't you, Gabriel?" he purred. "You want to fuck me so hard I'll be walking funny for a week. Do you want to hit me?" he asked lightly, licking his lips. Gabriel moaned involuntarily. What was it about Nicky that just did it for him? "Are you asking for it?" he growled, his hands in fists at his sides. He wanted to do all those things, hit Nicky and fuck him and hurt him. Nicky stared up at him intently. "Yes," he whispered. "Grab me by the hair and throw me down onto the bed and tear my clothes off and fuck me, Gabriel," he said softly. "I know you want to. I want you to. Get your thousand dollars worth out of me. Go ahead." He was panting softly now, but he made no other movement. Gabriel groaned. He hadn't really been aroused until just this minute, but with Nicky's words he was suddenly rock hard. His cock pressed at the zipper of his trousers painfully, and suddenly he could think of nothing else. He reached out and grabbed Nicky by his hair, yanking him flush against his 74
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body. "Like this?" he purred, and moaned when he felt Nicky hard against his thigh. It felt good to treat Nicky this way. Too good. Nicky whimpered. "Just like that, baby. Take what you want," he gasped. His hands reached out for Gabriel's shoulders, holding on. He rocked his hips back and forth, grinding his cock against Gabriel's leg needily. "I want you," growled Gabriel, yanking on Nicky's hair and dragging him over to the bed. He didn't want to give in, didn't want to want Nicky this much, but he was lost. He was completely aroused, and Nicky was asking for it. He pushed him down onto the bed, and said, "Get your clothes off or they'll be trashed." He all but ripped off his tie, and one of the buttons on his shirt popped off as he unbuttoned it too quickly. Nicky yanked his shirt off awkwardly over his head, then wriggled out of his jeans and shoes as quickly as he was able. His movements were quick, almost frightened, but his expression and his arousal told a different story. By then, Gabriel had his shoes and pants off, and then he was on Nicky. He pressed the length of his much larger body against Nicky, pinning him to the bed. He was panting, pushing Nicky's legs apart roughly with his own. "You're gonna get fucked hard, boy. I hope you can take it." He had never felt this violent in bed, and it felt good. Nicky had barely had the presence of mind to grab a condom out of his jeans. It was lubricated already, and he tore it open and handed it to Gabriel, panting too hard for words. 75
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There was no time for finesse and neither of them wanted it. Gabriel could only think of one thing; getting his aching cock inside Nicky. He slid on the condom and without pause, and snapped his hips upward, slamming into Nicky. He didn't think about prep, or taking it easy, or anything but fucking the pretty man under him. It felt incredible. Nicky moaned, pulling his knees up high. His eyes rolled back into his head and he writhed beneath him. "Oh fuck, Gabriel," he croaked, the words sounding as if they were torn from his throat. "Take it, you fucking little whore," Gabriel growled, thrusting deep. "Give me what I'm paying for." His anger was indistinguishable from lust, yet he knew full well he wasn't hurting Nicky. The younger man had asked for it, goaded him. And he was paying, after all. He rammed deep, moaning and gasping for air. He'd never felt anything as good. Nicky gasped, but he didn't speak. His body clenched around Gabriel's cock and he held on, gripping the larger man's biceps. It was so good, it couldn't last. Gabriel had never fucked anyone half this brutally. But he couldn't stop. He reached down to stroke Nicky's cock, and said, "Come, bitch," through clenched teeth. Nicky's body jerked and he started to come. He sobbed Gabriel's name, and nearly passed out as the blood rushed away from his brain. Gabriel stared down at Nicky as he came for him. It was the ultimate feeling of power, and despite the circumstances, he was glad, for a moment, that it all happened. Then his moment of clarity was washed away by his own violent 76
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climax. He really thought his heart might stop; it was that good. It seemed to go on and on and when he came back to himself he was slumped over Nicky's body. He rolled off quickly. Nicky curled on his side, away from Gabriel. He lay perfectly still for a long moment as his breathing gradually slowed. Gabriel looked over at Nicky, seized with an urge to hold him. But he held back. This man was blackmailing him. No matter how gorgeous or sexy he was, he was a whore and he was threatening his very livelihood. He sat up slowly, running his hand through his hair. Nicky sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He reached for his jeans and pulled out a cigarette. "Was that what you wanted?" he asked quietly, not looking back at Gabriel. Gabriel waited a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, it was, as a matter of fact," he said, and he stood up. He started pulling on his clothes without looking at Nicky. If he looked at him he'd be tempted all over again. "You can stay the night, order whatever you want, raid the minibar. I've got to go." He looked over his shoulder. "If that's all right with you, of course." He said the last words bitterly, the reality coming back to him. Nicky raised his gaze to Gabriel's face finally. "Good night, Gabriel," he said softly. Then he stood stiffly and padded into the bathroom. Gabriel watched him go, finished buttoning his shirt. He tucked it in perfunctorily, and stuffed his tie in his pocket. He 77
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hesitated, looking longingly at the bathroom door, then he left. He drove home slowly. He could still smell Nicky on him, and he didn't know where they stood. He supposed Nicky would contact him when he wanted more money. He just had to wait. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Six Gabriel waited. After the first few days he stopped jumping at shadows, but the undercurrent of worry was always there. As soon as he would relax a little, start to forget, something would remind him of his predicament. He was constantly on edge, even if he wasn't actively thinking about it. He avoided Renee and her family as much as possible, claiming a big workload, which was actually true. He stayed in the office until all hours, and only staggered home when his head hurt too much to read any more. Finally, Renee insisted on meeting him for lunch. He'd put her off so many times that she wasn't taking no for an answer. It was a Saturday, and Gabriel was out of excuses. He vaguely remembered hearing her say something on the phone about a wedding planner. As he walked into the restaurant, he was directed out to the patio dining area. It was a clear, sunny day. Renee sat at a distant table, smiling at the young man next to her as they held a large book of flower arrangements between them. The young man was dressed impeccably in a slim fitting suit of medium blue, with a pale gray dress shirt open at the neck. He smiled brilliantly at her as he appeared to explain some of the options for her upcoming wedding. When she caught sight of Gabriel making his way across the open patio, she waved her hand high. "Over here, sweetie!" she said, just loud enough to be heard, but not too loud for lunchtime decorum. 79
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Gabriel sighed and approached the table. His heart nearly stopped as he saw who was sitting with his fiancée. It was Nicky. He was dressed so conservatively that he almost didn't recognize him, but there was no denying that this was the male prostitute he'd fucked multiple times, who was currently blackmailing him. Renee smiled and stood to kiss Gabriel on the cheek. "Sweetie, this is Kyle, the young man I was telling you about. Kyle, this is my fiancé, Gabriel." Nicky stood and extended his hand. "Gabriel, it's a pleasure. I've heard so much about you," he said, smirking. His voice was higher than normal, with a hint of a lisp. Gabriel hoped his hand wasn't obviously shaking as he finally raised it to shake Nicky's hand. "Nice to meet you," he said automatically, his mind whirling. His heart was beating so fast that he was sure it was audible. They all sat down, Gabriel trying to look at Renee but unable to drag his gaze from Nicky. He wanted to lunge across the table, grab the slender man by the throat and demand to know what the fuck he was doing; was his money not enough? "Kyle has been showing me some floral designs for the wedding. But don't worry. I'm not going to make you decide anything about the flowers," she said, laughing lightly. Nicky smiled solicitously at Renee. "Of course, these aren't all there are to choose from. You can get anything you want," he purred. He glanced at Gabriel and gave him a wink.
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Gabriel blinked, trying to figure out how to react to this. He felt like he was trying to stay above water. Luckily, the waiter arrived just then and Gabriel ordered a strong drink. There was a discreet chirp, then Nicky pulled his cell phone out and flipped it open. "Hello? Oh, yes. Oh, sweetie, I understand. Okay, let me see what I can do." He flipped the phone closed and turned to Renee, putting his hand over hers. "I'm so sorry, dear, I have a fire I have to go put out. Can I give you a call tomorrow?" he asked. "Oh, of course. Call me any time. I'll let you know about the flowers," she said, nodding. Nicky leaned in and kissed her cheek lightly, barely touching. He stood and held out his hand to Gabriel again. As he took the larger man's hand, he pressed a small note into his palm. "Gabriel. Nice to meet you. Take care." Gabriel felt the note, and tried hard not to react. He watched Nicky depart, and slipped the note in his pocket. He wanted to read it now, but he didn't dare. He turned to Renee, forcing a smile. "He seems interesting," he said as mildly as possible. "Where did you meet him?" Renee sipped at her apple martini. "You know, that's the strangest thing. I was in the salon of all places, and he was getting a manicure next to me." She leaned close and lowered her voice. "Gay. But you know they are really creative and good with color. Anyway, I'm definitely going to interview other people, too. We just got to talking and he'd seen my name in the papers, and one thing led to another," she said with a shrug. 81
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Gabriel's blood ran cold. Nicky had clearly been stalking Renee if he knew what salon she went to. This was getting worse. Nicky was a charmer, that was clear, able to insinuate himself into any situation. Gabriel wondered again why such a clever, manipulative person was selling his body for a living. Well, with Gabriel's money, perhaps he'd found a way out. "Yes, you should interview others," he said softly, though he doubted Nicky would see this through, unless he had hidden wedding planning talent as well. "He was such a cutie, though. If I wasn't sure he wouldn't be into it, I can think of half a dozen girls I could set him up with." She shrugged. "So how was your week, baby? I've hardly seen you! You're neglecting me." Slowly, Gabriel relaxed, and they had lunch. Renee kept up a fairly constant monologue, and when she excused herself to powder her nose Gabriel slipped the note out of his pocket: Tonight. Usual place. He sighed. At least Renee didn't think anything was amiss. He threw back his drink and ordered another. He'd never drank so much in his life, but it was the only way he could act "normal." They finished lunch. Luckily for Gabriel, Renee had a date with a girlfriend, shopping for something, and he was free to go. He didn't know what time Nicky expected him, so as soon as he could, he headed over to the hotel once again to get a room. He stopped by the bank and withdrew as much as he could, ten thousand dollars. He hoped maybe it would satisfy Nicky. **** 82
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Nicky strolled into the lobby, still in his suit. He had his hands in his pockets, and no one would have presumed he was a prostitute. He saw Gabriel and plucked an invisible speck of lint off his lapel. "Got a room?" he asked, smiling. "Of course," Gabriel said shortly. "It's not as if I have much choice." He took Nicky to the room and, when the door was securely locked behind them, turned on Nicky and all but shouted, "What the FUCK are you doing? Stay the hell away from her. You can have my money. Just leave her out of it." "I can speak to whoever I want. And why wouldn't I want to speak to someone who knows so much interesting trivia? But, you don't have to worry. I got what I wanted out of her. It's not like she's in any danger, Gabriel. I'm sorry if you were worried for your true love's well-being." He pulled off his jacket and folded it neatly over the back of a chair. "Interesting trivia," Gabriel repeated slowly. "And just what did you want to know?" He moved closer to Nicky. "You'll get your money, you don't have to be everywhere I am, you know." His anger was rising again. Only Nicky could make him lose his temper like this. Nicky circled around Gabriel and looked out the window. "Second in your class at Stanford. In a rock and roll band in college. Fascinating stuff. Of course, Renee didn't know all the dirt. Some I found out on my own." He turned to face him. "I know quite a lot about you now. Not just that you like male prostitutes." He folded his arms over his chest. "You really need to be more careful, Gabriel." 83
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"Just fucking spit it out," Gabriel growled. He felt exposed, laid bare by this little gutter snipe. He'd worked so hard to get where he was, done so many things he'd hated, just to get here, and he was not letting this whore drag him down. "What the fuck do you want?" He pulled out his wallet and grabbed a handful of bills and threw them at him. "Here. Here's my money. If you ruin my career there won't be much more of it." Nicky let the bills fall to the floor. "Judge Wilcox. He's got a slightly shady record, yes? You know him, don't you?" he asked. His expression remained impassive. Gabriel struggled to keep his expression neutral. That name was an extremely unpleasant reminder of the past, and the things he'd done to secure his future. "I clerked for him, as you seem to already know," he said tightly, his stomach churning. His hands were in fists once again, and he wanted to break something. Nicky took a few steps toward him, gazing into his eyes. He reached out and took Gabriel's hands. "I don't wanna be your fucking therapist, Gabriel. But if it was so easy for me to find out, I'm sure it would be easy for her to find out. I'm assuming you didn't tell her. If you love Miss Mayor's daughter, you should be honest with her." His face twisted with rage, Gabriel batted Nicky's hands away and pushed him back. "Stay the fuck out of it! She doesn't need to know, nobody needs to know, it's fucking over!" He was shaking now, feeling humiliated. He hadn't known what to do the first time the judge touched him, but the older man had promised it would be well worth his while. 84
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He still wasn't sure, but he'd gotten through it. And he never wanted to think of it again. He sure as hell didn't want to talk about it with Nicky. Nicky swallowed hard. "I'm not going to tell her. Or anyone. I just thought ... it struck me as odd. That's all." He drew a deep breath. "All right. Go ahead. Let loose. You look like you're about to explode." "Odd? It struck you as odd?" Gabriel knew he should just leave, not give Nicky more to work with. "That I would let someone do something distasteful to me because it would get me something I wanted? I would think you'd understand that very well." He shook his head, and looked at the money on the floor. "There. There's your payment for today. I'm sure you'll let me know when you want more," he added softly, and turned to go. "You obviously don't want to see me for a long time, I guess." He shrugged. "You gonna walk out without?" He cocked his head to the side. Gabriel stopped, and turned around slowly. "Without what? Getting my money's worth?" He laughed harshly. "Forgive me if I'm not really feeling in the mood after you reminded me of how I used to let an old man fuck me." Nicky walked closer, then slid his hands up Gabriel's chest. "Don't you want to get even? Take it out on me," he whispered. "You know you want to." And he did. Gabriel felt his body react despite everything, and he looked down at Nicky. He was so very tempted, so much so he could taste it. But in this, at least, he had a choice. He removed Nicky's hands from his chest and stepped 85
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back. "No," he said firmly, and he turned and walked out the door. Nicky stood still for several minutes staring at the door, and finally sat on the bed. He ran his fingers through his hair and hung his head, elbows on his knees. An hour later he picked up the cash, put his jacket back on, and left the hotel. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Seven He still didn't know how he'd gotten himself into such a situation. Or what he should have done differently. Not that he allowed himself to think of it too often. Gabriel had led a fairly sheltered life until college. He had a couple of girlfriends, nothing too serious, and when he got to college he did the usual things. He pledged the same fraternity as his father had, and he went to all the parties. He lived the typical undergraduate life, got decent grades, and enjoyed himself. If he had any secret fantasies, he was wise enough to keep them to himself. No one else knew what you were picturing behind your eyelids when you were jerking off. Things were going according to schedule. Until his third year, when he got the phone call in the middle of the night. His parents had both been killed instantly in a car crash. He had no brothers or sisters; only an elderly grandmother in an assisted living home. He was all alone. Distant family and friends surrounded him at the funeral, but there was no one in whom he could confide, no one to go to when he got himself into a situation he couldn't control. He went back to school after the funeral, but he wasn't the same. He was adrift. He finished his undergraduate degree and got accepted into law school, throwing himself into his work because it was all that mattered. It was probably the only thing that kept him sane. His parents had provided for his tuition, but law school was expensive. He got the usual law student's job, clerking for a 87
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judge. He got lucky, or so he thought. The old judge was well known and influential, and though Gabriel didn't like him personally, he figured he could put up with it for three years. Or so he thought. He'd been so stunned the first time it happened that he hadn't stopped it. By the time he overcame his shock, it was too late. He wasn't very experienced for his age. He'd had sex with his two serious girlfriends, but he hadn't found it very fulfilling. They hadn't done it all that often, and part of the reason was that they always complained he was too big and it hurt. He hadn't argued all that much, though. He didn't see what the big deal was about getting into a girl's pants. He could take it or leave it. He hadn't admitted to himself that he was more attracted to boys than girls. It was something that he only indulged in his dreams, when he'd wake hard with an image of some boy he had seen somewhere, and he had to jerk off guiltily, only to suppress the memory in the morning. So when the judge touched him, Gabriel thought that somehow the older man knew all his dirty secrets, which somehow must have shone in his guilty conscience. He deserved it, the older man clearly knew he was deviant. He was paralyzed to stop it, or so it seemed to him. It didn't happen often. The judge told Gabriel he could leave any time he wanted, but he warned him that he'd never get a job as a lawyer in any reputable law firm if he told anyone. Gabriel was trapped, and he knew it. It never occurred to him to break that rule and tell anyone. Who would 88
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believe him? He was all alone, and he had clearly been asking for it. Years later, he finally managed to convince himself it hadn't been his fault. The worst part was, his experience didn't get rid of his homosexual thoughts. He would have thought he would never want another man near him ever again. He hadn't enjoyed what the judge did to him. But he wanted ... something else. It had been quite a while before Gabriel could admit to himself that he'd been sexually assaulted. He hadn't ever said no, after all. He could have walked away, could have reported him, could at least have made him stop somehow. But he chose to let it happen because of what the old man had offered. And it had been all true, what he'd promised. The judge was extremely well-connected, and he'd gotten Gabriel hired at one of the top law firms in the city. Gabriel knew that no matter how hard he'd worked, he might never get so much as an interview with a law firm like that, let alone such a glowing recommendation. He'd been hired on the spot and fast tracked for partnership. He felt like a fraud for a long time. Only until he won his first solo case did he feel as if he could possibly have gotten there on his own merit. He had sold his body just as surely as Nicky had, and he had no right to feel superior to any of the criminals he defended. It was his way of atonement. He defended people he knew to be guilty. But down inside, he knew he wasn't any better. So he defended them as best he could, and never complained about it. 89
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And he was good at it. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Eight He'd thought the need for Nicky had gone away, after the last incident. But it was always there, at the back of his mind, growing daily . One night when he left the office at midnight he was ragingly hard, his mind replaying every time he'd taken Nicky. It never occurred to him to find a different prostitute. He only wanted Nicky. He knew it was stupid to seek him out; Nicky would only want more blackmail money. But, if he wanted it, he knew how to find Gabriel. And Gabriel needed Nicky. Panic set in when Nicky wasn't in his usual place. He cruised around the area twice before he thought he spotted him walking along the street. He got closer, and he knew it was him. The body, the face that haunted his dreams. His obsession. Nicky flicked cigarette ash into the street as he strolled toward the local diner, seemingly unaware of any car following him. He was wearing low black jeans and a short red t-shirt. Gabriel slowed down, heart racing and palms sweating. This man, gorgeous and sexy though he was, was blackmailing him. He should feel only anger toward him. He couldn't help it, though. When he saw him he only wanted to touch and possess. He pulled up alongside Nicky and rolled down the window. Nicky turned his head and looked at the car for a moment, then a broad grin spread across his face. He leaned on the car 91
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door, head in the window. "Did you want something?" he asked, smirking. Gabriel looked at Nicky, devouring him with his gaze. Less makeup, but still gut-wrenchingly sensual. "Yeah. You. Get in." He felt almost desperate. He didn't know the rules between them now. He just wanted that mouth. Nicky opened the door and slid inside. He crossed his legs and flipped the visor down to look at himself in the mirror. "I wasn't expecting you to come looking for me, Gabriel." Gabriel felt a shudder of guilt mixed with unreasonable lust. "I didn't expect to, either," he growled. He pulled away from the curb, his cock already pulsing in his trousers. He spared a glance at the younger man. He was fucking gorgeous, and Gabriel wished he could stay away. Nicky arched an eyebrow. "So what can I do for you this fine evening? All-nighter? Quickie? I have to warn you, if it's an all-nighter, it needs to include food at some point." Gabriel was already at war with himself. He didn't want to spend the night with Nicky, if only because he really did want to. He just needed a little something to get him through. Any more and the ache would only get worse. "Quickie," he ground out. He didn't want to go to a hotel. He just wanted relief, to get Nicky out of his system. He looked over at him, and his desire rose even higher, as did his depravity. "Not in a hotel." He wanted to take reckless chances. He wanted to fuck Nicky in public. The depth of that need startled him. "In the car?" He scooted closer to Gabriel and walked his fingers up his thigh. "Or are you feeling really naughty tonight?" he purred. 92
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Gabriel groaned. He was fully aroused and no longer thinking with his brain. "I'm gonna go with naughty," he said, keeping his eyes on the road. "What did you have in mind?" Nicky leaned closer and breathed in Gabriel's ear. "Turn left here, then turn right at the second light. There's an alley. There's just a couple of homeless guys at one end, but at the other end it's deserted." Gabriel moaned but followed the directions, and soon he was pulling up to a dark, suspicious looking alley. "Here?" he asked incredulously, the rational part of his mind demanding he stop this instant. But he knew he was going to do it. Fuck Nicky right out in public. He couldn't stop himself. His heart was pounding fast. Nicky nodded. "Just park," he said simply. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pre-lubed condom. "Preferably not under a streetlight." Gabriel pulled partially into the alley, found a place to park where his car wouldn't be too visible from the main road, and turned off the ignition. He looked over at Nicky, almost panting already. "God," he moaned. "Want you." He didn't quite know how this would work. Nicky smiled evilly. "Over the hood of the car?" he suggested. "You want to fuck me right out in the open where anyone could see what you're doing to me? See you fucking me up the ass like a dirty whore? Like you could do anything to my body that you wanted to?" Gabriel stared at Nicky, and he literally couldn't think of anything else right then. "Fuck yes," he growled. He wanted it more than he wanted to continue breathing. "Get out there 93
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and drop your pants." He was so hard he hoped he could get inside Nicky before coming. This man knew exactly how to get to him, despite everything. He'd never get him out of his system. Nicky opened the car door and slipped out into the night. He walked around to Gabriel's side of the car, lingering for a moment in front of the headlights as he pulled the t-shirt off over his head. He unbuttoned and unzipped his sinfully revealing jeans, then bent over, pushing them down and then bracing his hands over the hood of the car, ass raised up in offering. Gabriel got out, eyes glued to Nicky's perfect body. He couldn't have stopped now if he'd wanted to. All he could think of was fucking the younger man savagely. He knew Nicky could take everything he could give him. He slowly unzipped his pants, walking up behind him. He was trembling with need, and what he needed was right in front of him. It was a moment of pure, exquisite perfection, and that it was so decadently perverse made it all the better. He took the condom from Nicky's hand and rolled it quickly onto his cock. The threat of being caught loomed, but it only made things sharper, better. Nicky arched his back, shifting his feet to spread himself open more. He glanced back over his shoulder at Gabriel, hair hanging in his face. "Is this what you wanted, Gabriel?" he asked. "Fuck yes," hissed Gabriel, taking one more look. He no longer cared about the blackmail. All he knew was how much he wanted Nicky. How he needed to take him right out here in 94
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the open. He positioned his cock, and with a quick thrust he slammed inside the slim man. White hot ecstasy took over. Nicky held on for dear life. His hands gripped the hood of the car and he laid his chest down against it with a moan. It was so illicit, so dirty, so fucking perfect that Gabriel was lost. He pounded into Nicky, gripping his hips, completely absorbed. The locale only added to the ecstasy, and it was pure fantasy made real. "Oh, God," he gasped. He wasn't going to last. He wanted Nicky to come, too, but he couldn't spare the coordination to stroke him. "Touch yourself, Nicky, come," he begged with his last shred of self-control. Nicky barely needed to touch himself. He reached down and curled his fingers around his own cock and cried out, biting his lip. His slim body shuddered violently as he came. Gabriel felt Nicky come and then he was climaxing, almost blacking out from the intensity. He might have screamed; he truly didn't know. Nicky slumped down on the hood of the car, gasping for breath. He shivered a little as a gust of cool night breeze blew through the alley. The sudden silence was deafening, as if the very night had stopped during their rough coupling. Gabriel never wanted to move again. He wanted to crawl into bed with Nicky and press against him, fall asleep together, then wake up and have sex all over again. But, Nicky was not his lover. He was a whore who was blackmailing him. He pulled out with a grunt and pulled his pants up, trying to get hold of his burgeoning emotions by ruthlessly suppressing them. 95
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Nicky sighed and straightened a little awkwardly. He pulled his own jeans up and grabbed his t-shirt, pulling it back on. He swallowed hard and looked at Gabriel expectantly. Gabriel looked at Nicky and the boy looked even more beautiful. He also looked like he wanted something. Then he remembered. The money. Of course. What else would a whore want? Gabriel felt foolish once again. "Get in the car," he said roughly, so they wouldn't be so obvious. Nicky got in the car, not meeting Gabriel's eyes. He folded his arms across his chest. "A little late for discretion, isn't it?" "It's a little late for a lot of things," Gabriel answered bitterly. He stared at Nicky. There was so much he wanted to say. Instead, he said, "How much?" He winced at the tone of the words, but it was too late. Nicky frowned. "Two hundred," he said quietly, pouting. "Are you sure you don't want to extend it?" he asked. Gabriel raised an eyebrow, quashing hope in his heart. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said finally. He wanted to, badly. But then, he'd never want it to end. He wanted Nicky still. This hadn't slaked his thirst at all. Nothing would. Ever. Nicky shrugged. "Suit yourself." He looked out the window, waiting for Gabriel to hand him the money. Gabriel just gazed at Nicky for a moment. It had seemed, for just a second, that Nicky might have wanted him. Wanted more. But it had clearly been his imagination. Nicky just wanted his money. He pulled out his wallet and pulled out two hundred dollar bills, then another one. He held them out to Nicky, hand trembling almost imperceptibly. 96
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Nicky took the money. "Pleasure doing business, as usual," he said, still pouting. "I suppose I'll see you around, then." He opened the car door, stuffing the bills in his pocket. Gabriel felt a wrenching pain in his heart. "Wait!" he called out without thinking. He didn't quite know what he was saying, but he didn't want Nicky to go just yet. Nicky froze and sat back down. He turned his body toward Gabriel. "Yes?" he asked. Gabriel stared at Nicky, wanting to ask him to stay all night. But he couldn't. He couldn't remember just why at the moment, but he knew it was a bad idea. "If I want to see you again..." He knew he was babbling. He wondered if Nicky would be asking for more money. He would give it to him as long as he could see him again. Nicky bit his bottom lip. "You haven't seemed to have difficulty finding me so far. You have my cell phone number, don't you?" he asked. "Yes," Gabriel nodded. "I have it." He didn't know what he was trying to say, or what he wanted. Or he didn't want to admit it to himself. Nicky nodded. "So you can always find me. Unless I'm busy, but that's not usually for very long." "Right," Gabriel said, and it felt awkward and incomplete. He knew suddenly that he couldn't do this again. It was too hard. "I'll see you ... sometime, then." He didn't want it to end, but it had to. "Oh, you can count on it," he said quietly. He arched an eyebrow, then turned to slip out the door. 97
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"Goodbye," Gabriel said softly as he watched him go. Then it occurred to him that Nicky hadn't asked for any blackmail money. He drove home and fell into bed. He didn't want to shower Nicky's scent off him. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Nine It was nearly a month before Nicky spoke to Gabriel again, only this time it was under very different circumstances. It was two AM, the glowing LCD clock told him, and that couldn't be his cell phone ringing. Gabriel groaned. It was. He got up and grabbed the phone from its charging cradle, peering at the number. He didn't know it. He almost ignored the call, but he flipped it open finally, rasping, "Hello." "Hi," Nicky said quietly. "Sorry. I know it's late. I'm in jail. I didn't have anyone else to call." His voice was dull. Gabriel's mind wasn't moving too quickly yet. "Nicky? Is that you?" He rubbed his eyes. "What happened?" As soon as he said it, he knew what a silly question it was. Nicky was a prostitute. "Jaywalking. Can you help me out?" he asked weakly. Gabriel snorted. "Jaywalking. Right." But he knew that he was going to do it. Despite all that happened, he couldn't stand the thought of Nicky sitting in a cell. "Where are you? I'll be right there." Nicky gave him the location of the precinct where he was being held, and hung up the phone. Gabriel got there in fifteen minutes. It wasn't a very nice section of town, but he wasn't concerned. He walked inside, and within five minutes he'd found out the details. Nicky had been picked up for soliciting, but was only being charged with public drunkenness. He pushed, and was told he could pay the fine 99
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for Nicky and he'd be released. He did so, and ten minutes later they took him back to the cells. Nicky was sitting on a steel bench, away from the other occupants. His left eye was bruised and slightly swollen, and Gabriel's eyes widened in reaction. When he looked up and saw Gabriel he stood up and headed to the cell door, his gaze lowered as they unlocked it. "You're free to go," the officer said. Nicky glanced at Gabriel briefly. "Thanks," he said, his voice hoarse. "What happened?" Gabriel said as they walked out. He was suddenly, blindingly furious. He stopped in his tracks, about to walk out the door. "Huh?" Nicky asked, then stopped and nearly touched his cheek as if remembering. "Oh. Yeah. It's nothing. Don't worry about it," he said dismissively. Gabriel frowned. "It's not nothing, it looks really bad. Who did this to you?" he demanded, looking around. "And why were you not charged with solicitation?" "It was just a warning. I wasn't in the mood to give some dickhead cop a freebie. They usually go for the girls, but this one guy." He shrugged his shoulders. "He taught me a lesson. Can we get out of here, please?" Gabriel glared around before he opened the door and led Nicky to his car. "Is that the way it works? They don't bust you if you give them a freebie once in a while?" This infuriated him for some reason.
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Nicky looked at Gabriel, his eyes tired. "Pretty much, yeah. Your typical protection racket. Anyway, I'm sorry I woke you up. I can walk home." "I don't think so. You'll just go back on the streets. I'll pay you." He took Nicky's arm and steered him to his car. "You're coming with me." Nicky let himself be led along, his attitude almost listless. "What difference does it make to you? I thought you'd be happy to be rid of me," he said. "It seems I'm stuck with you," Gabriel said, opening the door for Nicky. Then he slid into the driver's seat and looked over at him. He gazed at Nicky in the low light of the dash, and he knew it did make a difference to him. Too much of one. Despite what Nicky had done to him, he wanted him, for more than just sex. Nicky shrugged. "Anyway, you paid my fine. You don't have to pay me again. You want me to suck you off in the car?" he offered. Gabriel's cock jumped at that, but he bit his lip. "No," he said firmly. "That's not why I came to get you." He drove them back toward his apartment. Nicky nodded and looked out the window glumly. "Why did you come to get me?" he asked. He looked at the street signs as they passed. "Where are we going? You can just drop me off anywhere, if you want." Gabriel glanced over at him as he drove. "We're going to my apartment," he explained. He wasn't even quite sure why he was taking Nicky there, except it felt right. "I'm going to make you something to eat and you can get cleaned up." 101
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Nicky flipped down the visor to look at himself in the mirror. He tried to rub off some of the smudged eyeliner under his uninjured eye. "I must seem pretty pathetic to you," he said softly. Gabriel snorted. "Isn't that my line?" he said bitterly. There wasn't much traffic at this hour and soon he was pulling into his parking garage. He was sure Nicky already knew where he lived anyway, so it didn't matter. "You're the one who's blackmailing me. I'm the pathetic one." Nicky unbuckled his seat belt. "Which one of us just had to get bailed out of jail? I think I win the pathetic Olympics, Gabriel." He frowned. "This was a bad idea. Thanks for helping me out, but I should go." He opened the car door to get out. "No," said Gabriel firmly. He didn't know why, but he didn't want Nicky to be alone tonight. "I'll pay you for the night. Five hundred, was it?" He grabbed Nicky's arm again. It was so thin. Nicky looked at him wide-eyed for a moment. "Sure," he said softly. He lowered his eyes and waited for Gabriel to get out of the car before following him. Gabriel went up the stairs, making sure Nicky was close behind him. He got them inside and turned on the lights. "Okay. Let me show you where the bathroom is, and I'll fix something to eat while you shower." He steered him through the apartment. It was spacious, with large rooms, high ceilings, and neat, modern furnishings. It was clean without seeming sterile. 102
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Nicky let himself be led through the elegant apartment. He slipped into the bathroom and started stripping off his clothes, his movements sluggish. The master bath was done in green and black marble, and was the most lavish part of the apartment. Nicky emerged ten minutes later with just a towel tied around his slim hips, water still dripping from the ends of his hair. He had found his way to the kitchen on his own and leaned against the island silently. Gabriel nearly moaned. Fuck if Nicky didn't look like a wet dream, literally. He looked quickly back down at the wok. "All I had was some veggies, so we're having stir fry," he informed him. "I hope that's okay." "Sure," Nicky said. He folded his arms loosely across his middle. He shifted his weight awkwardly. "You know, if you can't stand to even look at me, you didn't have to bring me back here." Gabriel looked up quickly. "You think I can't stand to look at you?" he asked, setting down his spatula and turning off the burner. He walked closer and stood in front of Nicky. Without thinking about it, he said, "I'll pay you a thousand dollars for one kiss." Nicky looked up at him quickly. He sucked in a sharp breath and worried his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment. "One kiss?" He hesitated, parting his lips to say something, but paused. "All right," he said finally. Gabriel's eyes widened. He'd expected more of a fight. "I thought you never kissed." His heart was pounding again, and he felt nervous. 103
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"I don't kiss for money. No. But," Nicky swallowed hard and shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose it's the least I can do, really." Gabriel hated that he had to get what he wanted this way. He wished Nicky wanted him for him. Not that the other man hadn't been into it; he knew their passion was mutual. But Gabriel also knew that he felt more than lust for Nicky. And that scared him, but he couldn't stay away. Nicky ran his hands lightly up Gabriel's chest, fingers curling slowly around the back of his neck. He gently coaxed the other man's head down as he stared into his eyes. His head drifted slowly to the side and he leaned up, barely pressing his lithe, damp body against Gabriel's warm, solid one. He pressed his parted lips to Gabriel's and his long eyelashes fluttered as his eyes closed. Gabriel couldn't help the involuntary moan that escaped him as his lips touched Nicky's for the first time. He'd fucked him multiple times, used his body in every way possible, but this was their first kiss, and it was everything he could have imagined. His arms came up to encircle Nicky's slender body, pulling him against him, and he parted his lips as well. Gently, he slid his tongue into Nicky's mouth, tasting him, and he hardened against his body. Nicky whimpered and responded in kind. He stroked against Gabriel's tongue with his own, clinging to him. He plumbed the hot, wet depths of the other man's mouth with single-minded desperation, seeming to give everything he had into the kiss. 104
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Never had a kiss been this full of need and longing. Gabriel knew for certain now that he felt far more for Nicky than he ever had for Renee, or anyone else he'd ever been with. This was surely the best kiss of his life, and he never wanted it to end. His tongue danced with Nicky's, and their bodies melted together. His hands were on Nicky's back, caressing softly, of their own accord. Nicky's fingers tightened in Gabriel's hair and he moaned deeply. Finally, he pulled back, gasping for air. His lips looked swollen and he stared into Gabriel's eyes, his own glistening slightly. "That was on the house," he breathed. Gabriel stared back at him, unwillingly reminded of reality. "That was amazing," he whispered, still clinging to the memory of the kiss. "Thank you." He didn't let go of Nicky, however. He couldn't. Nicky's hands ran down the length of Gabriel's body. His fingers started tugging on the button of his jeans. "Fuck me," he demanded. "Right now." Gabriel whimpered. He wanted Nicky as badly as he ever had, if not more. But what he wanted most of all was more kisses from him. He let Nicky get his jeans open, and he pulled off the other man's towel. "Do I get to kiss you more?" Nicky found his way inside Gabriel's jeans and curled his fingers around his cock. "What if I say no?" he asked, panting. He started to stroke him slowly. Looking into Nicky's eyes, Gabriel took a chance. "You're not going to say no," he breathed, and pressed his lips to Nicky's once more. 105
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Nicky sobbed into Gabriel's mouth, but yielded nonetheless. His fingers stilled as he relaxed into the kiss, exploring Gabriel as eagerly as if he'd initiated it. When he felt Nicky yield, Gabriel's desire increased even more. He tightened his grip on Nicky's lithe body, rubbing his freed arousal against him. He'd never ached for anyone this way. He thought he might die without taking Nicky. He kissed him almost frantically. Nicky held onto Gabriel's strong biceps. He was trembling all over, almost completely supported by the other man's firm grasp. He pulled back again after a moment, gulping air. "Bedroom," Gabriel purred, staring into Nicky's eyes. "Need you now." He picked Nicky up, holding him in his arms like a child. He weighed nothing at all. Nicky wrapped his arms around Gabriel's shoulders and buried his face in the crook of his neck. He pressed his lips against the soft skin, then nuzzled his ear. "Trying to sweep me off my feet?" "Maybe," admitted Gabriel, carrying Nicky to the bedroom. "Is it working?" He was so hard he could barely think; all he knew was that he needed Nicky, now. He opened the door, bringing him into the room. The bed was king-sized, with a wrought-iron, four-post frame. The floors were hardwood, covered with several soft, patterned rugs. The room was tastefully decorated, and Gabriel loved it. More so, now that Nicky was in it. Nicky whimpered and nodded. As Gabriel laid him down on the bed, he held on tight. "Condoms in the bathroom," he rasped. 106
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Gabriel blinked, then realized Nicky must have left his clothes in there when he showered. He ran into the bathroom, found Nicky's pants, and pulled out a condom and a small tube of lube. He hurried back into the bedroom, and stopped still at the vision on the bed. "You're beautiful," he said. Nicky looked up at Gabriel, panting hard, and blushed. "Take me," he said softly. "Please, Gabriel. Fuck me," he pleaded. Gabriel didn't waste any time. He pulled off his shirt and threw it, then slipped off his already opened jeans so he was as naked as Nicky. He climbed on the bed and straddled Nicky's body, leaning down to kiss him again. He couldn't get enough. Nicky's fingers roamed restlessly over Gabriel's skin. He lightly mapped every plane and bulge of muscle with eager fingertips. He opened his mouth to Gabriel's kiss, sucking at his tongue hungrily, his body arching up beneath him. Gabriel had never felt anything like it. It was passion like he'd dreamed of. He shifted between Nicky's legs, fitting against him like he was meant to be there. He couldn't get enough of Nicky's mouth after being denied it so long. He kissed him like he'd die without it, hands all over Nicky. Nicky sobbed again, the sound muffled by Gabriel's firm, demanding lips. He slid his legs out, bending his knees, opening to him. His hands came to rest on broad shoulders above him. Moving against Nicky, Gabriel gave himself over to it. He no longer thought about the fact that Nicky was a prostitute, or blackmailing him. All that mattered was their two bodies, 107
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locked in passionate embrace. His cock slid almost perfectly into position, and the heat of Nicky's body made him moan. He pulled back, panting, and pulled the condom out of its pack. Nicky watched him, panting hard. "Want you, Gabriel. Want you so bad. Please." He stared up at him, his eyes pleading. Gabriel slipped the condom on and added lube, then he was back on top of Nicky. He couldn't wait, and slipped inside him as gently as possible. "Oh, God, Nicky," he moaned, staring into the other man's eyes. "You feel so perfect." "Gabriel," he breathed. He pulled his legs up around the other man's waist, sliding his fingers into his hair. He was quieter than before, except for a few soft moans on each deep, steady thrust. The drive to possess Nicky's sweet body was everything in Gabriel's world. He wanted this to last forever, so he kept it slow and steady, but it was still the most intense sex he'd ever had. Nicky's eyes never left Gabriel's face. His expression was full of emotion as he panted quietly. He didn't speak, didn't utter titillating obscenities. He just let Gabriel see every nuance of feeling as it passed over his delicate features. Lust and fear and raw need were all easy to see, and he held nothing back from the man penetrating his body with a careful but determined rhythm. "Nicky," gasped Gabriel. His climax was approaching; he couldn't hold it back forever. "My Nicky." He didn't even know what he was saying as he thrust harder and deeper. 108
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Nicky whimpered and closed his eyes. He squeezed them shut and hot tears leaked from his eyelids. "Gabriel, I ... I'm gonna come." Gabriel's need rose even higher at Nicky's words. "God, baby, want to see you come," he moaned, thrusting harder. He was completely lost. Nicky cried out Gabriel's name, staring at him as he shuddered violently. He came hard, pulsing between their bodies without a touch. There was nothing more gratifying to Gabriel than to know that he had given Nicky this ecstasy. He watched him come, still thrusting, holding back as long as he could. Finally he could hold back no longer, and with a strangled gasp he gave in. Nicky stared up at him for a moment, licking his lips. His brow was furrowed and his expression was unreadable. Gabriel stilled finally, looking down at Nicky. "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned. He was still inside him, loath to pull out. Nicky swallowed, his voice coming out in a quiet croak. "Yeah. I'm fine." Nicky didn't look fine and Gabriel lowered his head, pressing his lips to his and kissed him softly as he slipped out of his body. His body ached, but in a wonderful way. Nicky kissed back and drew a deep, shaky breath. He lowered his knees and ran his hands down Gabriel's arms. When he broke the kiss, he said, "I should go." Gabriel shook his head. "I want you to stay the night," he protested. "I'll pay you," he promised, though he hated to 109
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bring up money at this point. He lay close to Nicky, not quite snuggling him. Nicky turned toward him and pressed up against him, hiding his face. "I don't want you to pay me," he whispered. After hesitating just a split second, Gabriel moaned and wrapped his arms around the smaller man with a soft moan. He knew that something had changed between them. "However you want it to be," Gabriel assured him. "I just want you in my arms tonight." He couldn't give this up, not yet. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Ten "I just want you in my arms tonight." Tonight. Of course that's all he would want, Nicky thought miserably. He would play the wounded little waif for Gabriel, and they would fuck a couple of more times, then it would be done. All his compass points were off. All his instincts were failing him. He should never have agreed to that kiss. It had already been too late at that point. He couldn't get Gabriel out of his head, no matter what he did. "Yeah, okay," he heard himself say. He wanted to run, but he couldn't move. Gabriel seemed content with that, as he sighed and snuggled closer. "Good," he murmured against Nicky's slightly sweaty skin, hands idly caressing. Nicky wriggled closer. For tonight he could pretend that he was a normal boy, that Gabriel was his, that he could have this. Just this one night would have to sustain him. He knew that eventually he would see the announcement in the papers about the wedding of the mayor's daughter. Hell, he might even show up to watch, just to torture himself. But tonight Gabriel belonged to him. For a few more hours. He tipped his head back to gaze into his eyes. And then he kissed him again, a sweet, gentle kiss, lazy and filled with contentment, as if it was only the first of many. Gabriel kissed back readily, sealing Nicky's body to his, entangling their legs together. He kissed not with the urgency 111
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of sex this time, but for closeness. And after a few moments he drifted off to sleep. Nicky fell asleep in Gabriel's arms. As with every other time he'd slept in a bed with Gabriel, he was completely dead to the world. He'd never slept as soundly as he had with the warm solid form beside him. He'd slept in the same bed with other men. Gabriel wasn't the first one to buy an entire night. He was the first one Nicky trusted, however. He shifted in sleep, turning to face away from Gabriel, pressing back against him with a somnolent sigh. When daybreak began to peek through the blinds, Nicky's eyes flew open. "Gabriel. Gabriel, wake up," he said, looking over his shoulder. Gabriel opened one eye sleepily, then smiled. "Hi," he said softly. He pulled Nicky tighter against his body, making it obvious he was hard again. Nicky whimpered. "Your girl doesn't stop by unexpectedly in the morning, does she?" he asked, his voice rough from sleep. He wasn't ready for it to be over. He pressed back against him, feeling Gabriel's hardness against the cleft of his ass. Gabriel moaned loudly, one hand sliding down to Nicky's hip. "No," he said, voice rough with sleep and need. "Need you again, baby. Please." He rocked his arousal against Nicky. Nicky reached for a condom on the table beside the bed, and the lube. He wriggled around to face him again, hands disappearing under the covers. He gave Gabriel a wan smile as he unrolled the condom down over his cock. He leaned his face in and kissed him again. Just a few more times, he was 112
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going to enjoy it while he could, because he didn't know what else to do. Gabriel was panting already when the kiss broke. "I ache for you," he rasped, as he rolled on top of Nicky. "Oh, Nicky," he breathed as he slid inside him once again. Nicky felt completely undone. Gabriel was like a dream hero, come to pluck him out of depravity and wash his life clean. Except that he wasn't going to do anything of the kind, but he pushed that aside. When had he gone from fulfilling other people's fantasies to inventing his own? Nicky whimpered loudly and pulled his legs up around Gabriel's body again. "Gabriel," he breathed. "So good." Gabriel moved slow and deep, a little faster than last night but still unhurried. He stared into Nicky's eyes and whispered his name, and caressed Nicky's face and chest. "You're so beautiful," he murmured. Hearing those words usually had no effect on him, but from Gabriel's lips—with Gabriel's magnificent body covering him, protecting him—for once Nicky felt beautiful instead of dirty. After a lifetime of searching, he'd found what he needed, but it was too late. He moaned Gabriel's name over and over like a mantra. He would never forget this moment. The crescendo built and he whimpered, tightening around the man inside him. "I..." He couldn't even get the words out before it overwhelmed him completely and his body shuddered with release. Gabriel gasped as Nicky climaxed, thrusting faster now. "Nicky," he cried out, rhythm dissolving at last. He thrust 113
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twice more then he stilled, pulsing inside Nicky, mouth hanging open as he stared into his eyes. Nicky swallowed hard as his breaths gradually slowed. For once, he had no idea what to say. He could hear the clock ticking steadily, all other sounds fading to silence. "Thanks for bringing me back here," he said. Gabriel rolled off Nicky but didn't go far. "Wish we could stay like this forever," he mumbled, then looked up at Nicky as if surprised at what he'd said. "Sorry." Gabriel's statement was like a bucket of ice water. "Yeah, but we can't. And I should let you get back to your life." He sat up, rolling away. This was the right thing to do. The noble thing. He swung his legs over the side of the bed. "I'm not gonna show up unexpectedly again. You don't have to worry about that any more," he said quietly. "You can call me any time you need me." He sat up, too, but made no move to come closer to Nicky. He stood up, looking for his pants, and withdrew his wallet. "I don't have a whole lot on me right now," he said apologetically. Nicky stood and turned to face him, looking hurt. "I don't want your fucking money, Gabriel." He stomped off toward the bathroom to get his clothes, eyes brimming with impotent tears. He'd been so close to forgetting his life, his shame. Being with Gabriel made him feel washed clean of his sordid life. He was with Gabriel because he chose to be, because he wanted him. To be reminded so callously that he was only a whore, that he let anyone fuck him for the right price, tainted something on which he was quickly becoming frighteningly dependent. He didn't want to associate their tender 114
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lovemaking with prostituting himself. More than that, he didn't want Gabriel to think of it that way, either. Gabriel ran after him. "What do you mean you don't want my money?" he demanded. "You're blackmailing me, remember?" He stood in the door to the bathroom. Nicky yanked on his leather pants, pulling them up over his ass. "I just said I wasn't gonna bother you again. I'll send you the damn money back if you don't believe me." He zipped up and pulled the mesh shirt over his head. Gabriel gasped softly, and stepped closer. "What did I do wrong?" he asked softly. "What if I want to see you again?" Nicky started pulling on his sneakers. "I don't think that's such a great idea, do you? I'm letting you off the hook. You should be running in the opposite direction." He straightened and looked at Gabriel. Never seeing the other man again was too awful to contemplate; though he knew what he'd said was true. He should leave him alone. He couldn't do it, though. "You have my number. I'm sure you could find me again if you were looking." He had to get through this. He had to push Gabriel away, even if it made something inside him feel like it was dying. "Nicky, I," Gabriel stepped forward, into the bathroom. Then he seemed to deflate. "Okay, do you want me to drive you somewhere? Or get you a cab?" Nicky gritted his teeth for a moment. He hoped he was going to make it out of that apartment without getting sick. He'd hoped for a little more argument than that, but he figured he'd gotten more than he probably deserved. He checked that his cell phone was securely in his back pocket, 115
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then looked Gabriel squarely in the eyes. "No. I'm good, thanks. Take care of yourself," he said, nearly choking on the words. He squeezed past him out the bathroom door. There wasn't enough air to drag into his lungs and he could barely see in front of him for the moisture in his eyes, but somehow he managed to find the strength to walk toward the front door. Gabriel caught up to Nicky and grabbed him by the arm. He didn't speak, just spun him around, pressing him up against the door and kissing him hard. Nicky's entire body, except for his mouth, was seized with a vise-like paralysis. He sobbed softly as he kissed back, opening sweetly to Gabriel, eyes squeezed shut. Last kiss. Last moment of happiness. His mind reeled to try to record every detail for future reference. After a moment, he had to push Gabriel away or he never would. Better to go like this than beg to stay forever and get kicked out. He pushed against his chest, looking into his eyes a final time. "Bye," he croaked. He reached for the door handle beside him and slipped out, closing it firmly behind him. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Eleven Nicky called himself a cab from his cell and headed back to the small apartment he shared with another prostitute and a couple of junkies who usually just crashed somewhere on the floor. He got in and showered until someone banged on the door. His eye still ached like hell, and before he even finished getting dressed he got a text from his pimp. Mark. Mark was bad news, and Nicky didn't like meeting him. He wasn't going to be happy to hear about last night, but Nicky didn't care. He finished getting dressed and headed over to the warehouse that Mark 'worked' out of. It wasn't far, and he slipped inside the side door, walking across the cavernous expanse to the office. He leaned in the doorway, waiting to be noticed. Mark sat behind a large metal desk. In the corner of the office a punching bag hung from the ceiling. Mark didn't look like a movie version of a pimp. He was nearly as tall as Gabriel but thinner, though he was still muscled. He'd been a boxer before getting into this business, and he still trained every day. He had close-cropped dark hair and cruel blue eyes. He wore neat blue trousers and a white wife-beater under a dark blue shirt. He looked up at Nicky finally, and said in a deceptively casual voice, "Nicky. Finally. Where have you been, my little moneymaker?" He stood as he spoke the last words. Nicky lowered his eyes and shrugged. "Got arrested," he said softly. "Sorry. It won't happen again." He looked up, 117
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hoping the black eye would buy him some pity, though knowing that was ridiculous. He doubted his pimp had an ounce of compassion anywhere in his body. Mark snorted. "Stupid bitch," he said, coming around the desk. "Why the fuck do I pay the cops off, then? What happened to our deal? You not get him off or what?" Nicky rolled his eyes. "He was just ... I couldn't do it. He was too disgusting and I was willing to pay the consequences not to do it." He knew there was more to come, but he just couldn't manage to care. Mark stopped in front of Nicky, arms crossed. "You were willing to pay the consequences, were you? How noble." He smirked. "And of course, you're going to be able to pay me back for a night's lost wages." He leaned one hip against his desk, manner still calm and relaxed. "Because, of course, whores get to choose only the best looking clients." Nicky frowned. "C'mon, you know I'm not like that, man. It was just his fuckin' attitude. I'll pay you back tomorrow morning. I'll just give you the whole thing. You know I'm good for it." He wasn't in the mood to cower, either. But he could summon up a bit of humility. He stepped closer and touched Mark's chest, just barely, fingers sliding up his shirt. "I can make it up to you twice if you want," he said softly. Mark looked down at him and laughed. "How magnanimous of you to offer me what's already mine," he sneered, and stepped back just far enough to backhand Nicky across the face, but not hard enough to break the skin or even bruise much. "Stupid cunt. Don't fucking do it again." 118
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Nicky's head snapped to the side, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a second. He'd been expecting that, but he wasn't daunted. He turned his eyes to Mark again, giving him the hurt puppy look. "I won't. I swear. Can't I just suck you off? Just to say I'm sorry?" he offered. "Again, offering me what's already mine," Mark said, smiling menacingly. Still, he didn't look angry. He just reached out and grabbed Nicky's arm and twisted it up behind his back. Nicky grunted softly, bending a little when his arm was wrenched up. "Sorry," he whispered, gritting his teeth. Though he was powerless, it was almost a relief just to not have to think about Gabriel for a while. With any luck he would wind up blissfully unconscious. "You will be," Mark replied, voice still mild and pleasant. He shoved Nicky face down over the desk, banging his head on it. Nicky's temple connected with the hard surface as he desperately tried to avoid further injury to his eye. He whimpered, but relaxed, knowing that resisting would only make it worse. Mark pinned Nicky there, still pulling his arm up in a lock, and he reached down to unfasten Nicky's pants. He let them drop, and unzipped his own pants, slipping on a prelubricated condom with one hand. "At least you're good for something," he said conversationally, just before he rammed his cock in brutally.
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Nicky gasped, but his first thought was that it was lucky he'd just had sex with Gabriel, who was larger than Mark. He only hoped Mark wouldn't be able to tell. Mark didn't seem concerned, just slammed in and out of Nicky without much finesse. He seemed more concerned with the amount of pain he could cause Nicky as he did so, slamming him into the desk and keeping his arm in a lock as he fucked him. Nicky was used to it, though. Out on the street, this was the norm. Desperate men who wanted to be quick: over a Dumpster, up against an alley wall or a hood of a car. He grunted, taking no pleasure in the act, just waiting it out. This was what he was good for, he told himself. He tried to make his mind blank, but that little voice just had to chime in to put him in his place. This is who you are. This is how you get it. It's not about you. It's about the guy who's fucking you. What you want doesn't exist. He felt strangely calm, even as he grimaced. Mark fucked Nicky brutally, with no regard for anyone's pleasure other than his own. He never marked Nicky, or lowered his street value. But he used him, barely grunting when he came inside him, then pulled out and adjusted his clothing. Then he yanked Nicky up by the hair, backhanded him casually again, and pushed him away, making him stumble as his pants were still around his ankles. "Seven hundred by tomorrow morning," he stated flatly, then walked over to the punching bag and began pummeling it. [Back to Table of Contents] 120
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Chapter Twelve A few hours later, Nicky was much more composed. He strolled into the hotel bar, clean and rested. His roommate, Anthony, had even helped him with his makeup to hide the bruise, though putting eyeliner on proved to be a trial. Anthony had gotten a tip about a big liquor company convention at the Hilton, so the two of them were there trying to scam a little out-of-towner largesse. No matter how far they'd traveled, businessmen tended to never leave whatever hotel they were stuck at, so the bar was packed. The music was loud. The patrons were drunk. It had all the makings of a lucrative night. Nicky smiled at Anthony as they entered, and went straight to the jukebox. There were already a few people dancing, and he put in a few dollars to pick some songs, making sure to bend over to see the selections. When Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love" came on, Nicky took Anthony's hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. He started singing to him and grinding up against him sensually. He needed to make seven hundred dollars and he knew just how to do it. Anthony was as slender as Nicky, but taller. His light brown hair fell in soft waves over his shoulders, and he wore as much makeup as Nicky. He was barely covered in a wispy see-through shirt and a pair of very low-cut jeans. He danced readily with Nicky, and both men were feminine enough that they didn't raise too many eyebrows. Except, of course, among the men who were really interested. Anthony had the 121
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prospects spotted right away and pointed them out to Nicky, and the two played up to their targets. After a few songs, they went to the bar to get drinks, right next to one target. The man was older, almost bald, and watched them lasciviously. Nicky smiled brilliantly at him. "Is this seat taken?" he asked softly, deliberately brushing against him as he wriggled onto the barstool. He combed his fingers through his hair and sat down. The man smiled and looked at them both. "It's not, but my lap is free also," he offered. Anthony laughed and raised an eyebrow. "Well, we don't want to get kicked out of this lovely bar just yet, do we darlin'?" Nicky giggled, and winked at Anthony. He turned back to the man beside him. "Are you here for the convention thingy?" he asked, sounding deliberately flighty. He sat so his thigh was just touching the other man's, letting Anthony order their beers when the bartender came around. The man said that yes, he was here for the convention. Anthony leaned across Nicky, touching the other prostitute liberally, and purred, "So, what do you do for fun, handsome? Nicky and I like to have fun together." Nicky leaned back against Anthony and turned his head to nuzzle at his cheek. "Mmm, I'm feeling like having some fun very soon, too," he purred. This part was easy. He just hoped the man could come up with the money.
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The man looked from Nicky to Anthony, clearly considering, then he leaned forward. "How much? For both of you?" Anthony looked at Nicky as if considering. Nicky leaned close and spoke in the man's ear. "Five hundred for an hour," he said hotly. If they did two more like that and split it, he'd have enough. At least, he hoped it worked out that way. The man breathed faster. "I want more than an hour," he panted. "Five hundred an hour, as many hours as you want, sweetie," Anthony smiled, wiggling against Nicky. Nicky nodded. "And it'll be well worth your while, handsome." He smiled at Anthony and nibbled on his earlobe just in the man's line of vision. He liked Anthony, and it felt safer with another person there. Not that he was afraid. He'd certainly been in worse situations. The man nodded. "Room 1407," he declared, throwing down a twenty to pay for the drinks. "And hurry." Nicky picked up his beer and took a deep swig before wriggling off the seat. He brushed against the man again and smiled, then slipped out of the bar with Anthony. They found the elevators easily enough, and made their way to room 1407. He waited by the door and a few minutes later, their mark came down the corridor toward them. Nicky slid his arm around Anthony as they waited for him to open the door. They got into the room and the man turned to them, smiling. "Well, now. Why don't we all get more comfortable? I 123
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really liked the way you two were dancing. How about a little more of that?" he suggested. Nicky kicked off his shoes and stood facing Anthony. "Maybe you could find a radio station on the clock or something?" he asked politely. He put his hands lightly on Anthony's slender hips as the other man fiddled with the clock radio. "Here we go," the older man said, and a poppy dance beat filled the room. When the music started, Anthony started dancing immediately, much more provocatively than he had before, moving his slender body sinuously. He rubbed against Nicky as much as possible, moaning. Nicky did think Anthony was hot, so it wasn't difficult to flirt with him. He slid his fingers up under Anthony's shirt, tweaking his nipples with a naughty grin. "I think Anthony is wearing too many clothes, don't you?" he asked loudly enough to be heard over the music. "Oh yes," the older man nodded, licking his lips. He settled back on the couch to watch. "In fact you're both overdressed. Why don't you help each other with that?" Anthony smiled and reached out for the hem of Nicky's shirt. "Don't mind if I do," he breathed, smiling at Nicky. Nicky raised his arms over his head to let Anthony take his shirt off. Then he did the same for him. He turned so that their benefactor had a good view. He leaned closer and pressed his parted lips to Anthony's collar bone. He traced it with his tongue, slipping his hands around his back and down over his ass. 124
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Anthony writhed, pressing back against Nicky provocatively. He raised his head, exposing his long graceful neck, running his hands all over Nicky's soft skin. Nicky sucked his way up the length of Anthony's throat to his chin. He pulled him close, hands possessively on his ass, grinding their cocks together. "You like that, baby?" he purred. It was only partially an act, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Gabriel. In fact, it helped him. He touched and kissed and sucked Anthony as he wished he was doing to Gabriel. Anthony was hardening fast; he didn't seem to mind this either. "Oh, yeah, touch me," he moaned, running his fingers through Nicky's hair, then down his back. He slipped a hand between them to unbutton Nicky's pants. If fooling around with Anthony was all he was going to have to do, it was gonna be a sweet five hundred. He let Anthony open his pants and glanced over at the other man before sliding them down and off. Then he smiled at Anthony and got to work on the rest of his clothes. "You're so hot, Anthony," he said softly. Soon they were both naked, and their spectator urged them on. Anthony turned Nicky around, pressing up behind him, arms wrapped around him. They danced together, both aroused and clearly enjoying themselves. Anthony gazed over Nicky's shoulder at the john, smiling. Nicky raised his arms up and back around Anthony's shoulders. He rubbed his ass slowly back and forth across Anthony's hard cock. He moaned softly. "Mmmm, do you 125
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wanna see Anthony fuck me?" he breathed, making eye contact with the john. The older man moaned, visibly aroused, rubbing at himself through his pants. "Yes," he panted. "I like to watch. Want to see everything." Anthony smirked, running his hands over Nicky. "We'll give you a show, honey," he assured him. "You just tell us what you want." He glanced over his shoulder at Anthony. "There's a condom in my pocket," he said softly. "Shall I put it on you?" he asked, turning in Anthony's arms. He looked up into his eyes and tried to imagine that it was Gabriel that was about to fuck him. His lips parted slightly as he started to pant. Anthony shook his head. "Not yet, sexy," he whispered. "I think the man wants us to take our time." He raised his eyebrows meaningfully. "I bet he'd like to see that pretty mouth at work. I know I would." The john moaned, nodded. "Suck him," he urged, voice thick. Nicky smirked. He danced a little more, swaying and writhing before he slid down to his knees. He ran his hands up Anthony's thighs slowly and licked his lips. He looked up at him and reached out with his tongue, swirling it slowly around the very tip of his cock. Anthony moaned loudly, one hand in Nicky's hair, but careful not to block the customer's view. "Suck me," he moaned, letting his head fall back and his mouth hang open, panting softly. They made a gorgeous picture. 126
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Nicky parted his lips wider and started suckling at Anthony's cock, progressing up the length of him slowly and expertly. One thing he knew how to do was suck cock, and he did it as theatrically as he could. His eyes drifted closed and he started deep-throating him, swallowing him down to the root. "Shit," Anthony hissed, his moans unfaked. "You're so good at this." He looked up at the john, "He's a good little cocksucker, isn't he? He looks so good with a cock in his mouth." The customer nodded, unzipping his pants at last and starting to stroke his own cock. Nicky was far away for a moment. At least a few miles away, in a different hotel room, with a different cock in his mouth; one that really tested the design parameters of his throat. He stroked against Anthony with his tongue inside his mouth, lavishing attention over every inch of him. Anthony was clearly enjoying every moment, but he seemed to play it up even more for the audience. Not that he really had to; Nicky was very skilled. He looked at the man and asked, "Am I allowed to come?" The man seemed to think for a moment, then shook his head. "Switch. You suck him," he instructed. Nicky whimpered as he pulled back slowly. He smiled up at Anthony as he rose to his feet. "You heard the man. Get to it," he said, grinning. Anthony mock pouted, then smiled brilliantly. He kneeled gracefully and looked up at Nicky, licking his lips. Then he bent forward, delicately licking all over Nicky's length. 127
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Nicky gasped. It had been a very, very long time since anyone had sucked his cock. Not, in fact, since his first and only girlfriend back home. At the time, he'd fantasized that she was someone else while she was doing it, but there was no need for that now. He moaned and his fingers combed through Anthony's hair. "Oh, fuck yeah," he murmured. To look down and see Anthony's full lips engulfing his swollen cock was amazingly beautiful. The customer moaned approvingly, and Anthony set to work. He did this just as much as Nicky, of course, and he was quite good at taking his time about it. He licked and teased at every sensitive spot before slowly drawing the hard length into his mouth over and over. Anthony was amazingly skilled, but Nicky's control was up to the task. His legs felt weak, but he was able to hold on for a good long while. Finally, he whimpered loudly. "Oh God, I, we have to stop," he gasped. He looked over at the john. "Unless you're gonna let me come," he rasped. The man shook his head, and Anthony drew back. "Get on the bed, and make out," he ordered, and Anthony got to his feet, taking Nicky's hand. Nicky felt a moment of panic at the instructions. He had issues with kissing, especially now. It was only that morning that he'd gotten lost deep in Gabriel's gorgeous mouth. Thinking about it sent a sharp pang through him. But then it wasn't like he had to kiss the john, just Anthony. It didn't mean anything. He crawled onto the bed and lay back, beckoning Anthony closer. 128
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Anthony joined him on the bed readily. He smirked at Nicky as he arranged himself decoratively next to him. "This is fun," he said, for only Nicky's ears, then he leaned in to kiss him. Nicky whimpered as their lips met. Anthony was sweet and, as whores went, he was a good guy. That didn't change the fact that the very act of kissing flooded his mind with Gabriel. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to relax, tried to think of something else. In the end, he drew on his acting skills, which he always believed were critical in his profession. He thought of the money he would get. He thought of paying off Mark and not getting beaten to a pulp. He moaned and parted his lips, kissing Anthony back with every ounce of enthusiasm he could muster. And after a moment he could almost imagine it was Gabriel that he was kissing. That made it easier and he lost himself in it. Anthony knew how to put on a show, and he kissed Nicky deeply. He pressed against him and touched him and moaned. He was enjoying it, of course, but he also played it up for the audience. He ended up on top of Nicky, just going with it, trusting their john would give further instructions when he wanted to. Nicky ran his hands all over Anthony's smooth skin. His body was slender and perfect, compact and firm. Anthony really did have an ass to die for, and Nicky groped it liberally. The way their bodies were rubbing together was just flat hot, and he knew their customer was getting an eyeful. 129
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The customer's moans were getting louder, and finally he panted, "Fuck him," to Anthony. To Nicky, he said, "I want you to ride him. So I can see everything." Nicky pressed Anthony over onto his back and grinned down at him for a moment. Then he crawled off the bed and got his condoms and lube from his pocket. He crawled over to the other prostitute and straddled his thighs as he tore open the packet. "You ready for me, sexy?" he asked as he rolled the Latex down Anthony's shaft. "Always," promised Anthony, smirking up at him. "The question is, are you ready for me?" He smiled over at the customer and stretched his lithe body. Nicky started lubing him up in long smooth strokes. He knew this wasn't the time or the place to get into a contest, so he moaned softly and leaned down. "Ooh, I don't know, Anthony. You're so big. I hope you don't hurt me." Anthony smirked. "I'll be gentle with you," he promised, playing the game as well. He ran his hands up Nicky's body and moaned lasciviously, "Come on sweetie, fuck yourself on my nice hard cock." Nicky kneeled up and scooted higher up Anthony's body. He positioned himself right over him, reaching between them carefully to guide Anthony to his entrance. When the slick head was pressed in the perfect spot, he spread his knees as far apart as he could, and leaned back. He was completely exposed this way, and he braced his hands behind him on Anthony's thighs as he started to lower himself.
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Anthony moaned, letting Nicky set the pace, running his hands up the other man's body. "Oh yeah," he said, chest heaving. "Take it, gorgeous, ride me." Nicky was sure they made a pretty picture. He started to move, every twinge of muscle calculated to excite the man that was going to pay them. He moaned loudly as he thrust down onto Anthony's cock, impaling himself as his own erection slapped against Anthony's perfectly flat belly. The customer just watched. It seemed they'd gotten lucky and found someone who was only a voyeur. Anthony began to thrust up, meeting Nicky halfway. He panted and moaned liberally, encouraging Nicky. The customer finally spoke up. "Touch him," he told Anthony. "You can both come." Anthony smirked, and wrapped his fingers around Nicky. "You heard the boss," he breathed. Nicky giggled at Anthony's words and pumped his hips up and down faster and faster, gripping Anthony's cock tightly with his body. He threw his head back and moaned as long strong fingers curled around his own cock. "Fuck yessss," he gasped as he started to come, seed spilling over Anthony's fingers and belly. Anthony arched up, driving deeper into Nicky, reaching for his own completion. He threw his head back and moaned showily, then came hard. Nicky took a deep shaky breath and gingerly rolled off of Anthony. He discreetly disposed of the condom in the trash can on the far side of the bed and rolled on his side facing 131
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their customer with a sleepy smile. "Was it good for you, baby?" he asked, licking his lips. Anthony purred, "Oh yeah. You're amazing." He turned to the customer, awaiting instructions. He beckoned them over. "Come here and kneel in front of me. Both of you." Nicky grabbed a tissue and wiped off himself and Anthony before they climbed off the bed. He kneeled in front of their customer, looking up at him expectantly. It had been fun to fool around with Anthony, but he didn't mind doing something for this man. He seemed reasonable, so far at least. Anthony knelt beside him, snuggling close. The man sat in the chair, stroking his hard cock. "Closer," he panted. "And kiss." Nicky swallowed hard. The kissing again. It was like they knew it was difficult for him and were conspiring to make him think about Gabriel. But he did it. He did it to prove to himself that it didn't mean anything, that he wasn't hopelessly in love with someone. He slid one hand around the back of the customer's knee, the other into Anthony's hair, and he kissed him full on the lips, sliding his tongue inside again. Anthony kissed back unreservedly, leaning as close as possible. The customer moaned and stroked faster, and with a grunt he came, pulsing over both their faces as they kissed. Nicky whimpered, but didn't flinch. He suckled gently at Anthony's tongue as the john came on them. He could feel the warm, viscous liquid on his cheek and jaw. Finally, he broke the kiss and turned his eyes to the other man. 132
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The customer sat there, grinning and panting. "Gorgeous," he said hoarsely. "How are you boys at recovery time?" For the next several hours, Nicky and Anthony entertained their host, and eventually parted ways with more than enough for the night. Nicky treated Anthony to a trip to the diner on their way home. He toyed with the idea of going dancing, but he was too tired. Finally, they went home and passed out, each in their own small rooms. Though he dreaded seeing Mark again the next morning, he was glad at least that he could pay him. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Thirteen Gabriel tried hard to go on, but he couldn't stop thinking of Nicky. He spent most of his time in a daze. He hoped it wasn't too obvious to anyone else. Renee was deep in wedding plans and oblivious, luckily. He made sure his work was impeccable, even if it took him until midnight. But it wasn't unusual for junior partners, especially fast-track ones like Gabriel, to be at the office all hours of the night. It helped keep his mind off Nicky. For a while, at least. One Friday evening, around seven, Julian poked his head in Gabriel's office. "I'm officially kidnapping you. It's Friday. There's no court tomorrow. The cleaning people are complaining about you," he said with a grin. "Now put the damn keyboard down and come buy me a drink." Gabriel tried to protest. Julian was his oldest friend here, and surely he'd figure out there was something up with him. "I've just got a little bit more to do." "Did it sound like I was asking? Come on. Don't tell me you're not gonna spend most of tomorrow working at home. Whatever it is can wait." He stood in the doorway and folded his arms over his chest. "Don't make me come over there." Gabriel snickered. "I would say 'make me', but you'd try, then I'd have to hurt you," he said, grinning. Julian was nearly as tall as Gabriel, but not as muscular. He shut down his laptop and sighed. "All right. I am a little hungry." He actually couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten anything that didn't come out of a vending machine. He stood, 134
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stretching. His back and shoulders popped alarmingly, and he had to admit to himself that he'd been sitting at his desk a bit too long. "Good. I know this great little place." Before Gabriel could change his mind, Julian ushered him out and down the elevator to the parking garage. They took Julian's car, and he drove them a dozen blocks down the road, parking in front of a small restaurant with a quaint but busy bar. He got them a table in the corner. "One of the paralegals turned me on to this place last year. It has the most amazing food." Gabriel's stomach grumbled. "Great, haven't eaten for a while. I think. I need a drink first, though." The waitress came over and they ordered beer and shots of Jager. Gabriel threw back his as soon as it arrived, and ordered another. It burned all the way down, suiting his mood. The subsequent warmth was numbingly good. Julian tossed back a shot and then took a sip of beer as he looked over the menu. "Yeah, you really do need a night out, don't you, buddy? Been burning the candle at both ends lately." Gabriel sighed, sipping at his beer. "You don't know the half of it, man." He rubbed his face with his hands. The next round of shots arrived and he wasted no time dispatching his. He was well on his way to getting wasted, and he wasn't about to stop now. Julian matched him shot for shot, tossing back another before ordering some food and another round. "So what's goin' on, man? Trouble with the girl?" 135
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Gabriel almost choked on a tortilla chip. "No," he said, looking down. "The wedding plans proceed apace, completely without my input." He drained his beer and signaled for another. "Wait, no, I say 'yes, dear' occasionally." He knew drinking on an empty stomach was a bad idea, but at this point he didn't really care. He wanted to not care. Julian laughed out loud. "Oh, man, sounds fucking awful. God bless you, Gabriel. Someone has to." He held up his beer bottle and clinked it with Gabriel's before taking a long pull. The food arrived and they dug in. Gabriel sighed and drank some more. "It's like a fucking freight train, coming right at me, and I'm tied to the tracks." He tried not to think about it too much, because that brought on thoughts of Nicky. The alcohol interested him far more than the food, but he tried to eat some. Another round of shots arrived and Julian again toasted Gabriel before tossing it back. "If you don't want to get married, there's a solution for that, you know." "What? Jump off the courthouse roof?" Gabriel said. He thought about Nicky for a moment, and his heart ached. Life wasn't fair. Julian arched an eyebrow. "Suicide is one option, yes. Or there's the old, don't get married. People do it all the time. Sometimes they even change their mind when they're already rented the tux and everything." Gabriel snorted. "Rented? I bought the damn thing already." He looked down, twirling an empty shot glass on the table. His voice dropped to a whisper. "I can't do that to her." His tongue was loosening, and he knew he shouldn't be 136
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talking about this. But he needed to talk to someone, and Julian was a good friend. It felt good to have someone to talk to. Julian nodded gravely. "Yeah. Poor kid. All she has going for her is good looks. Oh, and money and political connections. She'd never recover from it." Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Yeah, those connections are something I don't really want to fuck up, either," he sighed. "Seriously, though. You know how much it would hurt her if I backed out now. She's a sweet girl." Julian nodded. "Yeah. I know." He was quiet for a moment, taking another deep drink of beer. "Do you love her?" he asked. Gabriel opened his mouth, then closed it again. He had been about to say, yes, of course he loved her. But the words just didn't ring true any more. He wasn't sure if they ever had. He realized he was taking too long to answer, and that was an answer in and of itself. "I care about her," he finally said. Julian reached over and patted Gabriel's arm. "Sounds like you need more booze. You're thinking entirely too much." He waved the waitress over to order another round. Gabriel drank more, feeling more and more relaxed. It was great to be with Julian, because he really didn't have anyone else to talk to. Not that he could really tell him what the matter was. "Say, Jules," he slurred after a moment. "D'you ever, y'know, want something you know you can never have?" He hadn't meant for that to come out, but it was too late. 137
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Julian smirked. "Doesn't everybody? Can you be more specific?" he asked, his smile crooked as he sipped his beer again. Gabriel looked down into his beer. "Someone you can never have," he mumbled, not looking up. He had to stop this now. "Ah. Yeah, actually. I think that's pretty common, too. So, this someone? I take it they're responsible for your recent mood?" he asked gently. Gabriel sighed. "Yeah. I'm a total asshole. I've cheated on Renee." It was good to say it, finally. "Are you sure you're ready for this marriage thing? I mean, the wedding is still weeks and weeks away and you have cold feet already. Who did you cheat with? Someone from the office? I swear I won't tell anyone." Gabriel snorted. "No one you know, definitely. And I can't tell you." He felt relaxed and warm and uninhibited. He really had to watch what he said. Julian seemed satisfied with that answer. "So, do you love this someone then? Is that why this sudden workaholic thing?" he asked. Gabriel thought about that seriously. Did he love Nicky? He already knew that answer. "I think so," he said quietly, not looking up. "I can't stop thinking about them." "Dude. If you seriously think you're in love with someone else, how can you marry Renee? Isn't that like, totally unfair to her?" "I don't think I realized until just now," Gabriel said, and suddenly looked up at Julian. "I'm a really terrible person, 138
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aren't I?" He wanted to see Nicky, right now. "I just don't want to hurt anybody." He'd gone from being successful and engaged to a lovely, socially prominent girl to being in love with the male prostitute that had blackmailed him. He'd worked so hard to get to where he was, and now it was all falling apart on him. Julian shrugged. "You can't control who you love, Gabe. Don't be so hard on yourself." He reached over and put his hand on top of Gabriel's. "It's cool, man. Just do the right thing, and it'll all work out." Gabriel chuckled self-deprecatingly. "S'not that easy," he replied, finishing another beer. He was well and truly drunk now. "H—They don't love me. There are complications." He needed to keep his mouth shut, but it was hard to stop. "What kind of complications?" he asked, clearly too drunk to have picked up on Gabriel's slip of the tongue. Chuckling, Gabriel shook his head. "Oh, trust me, my friend. You don't wanna know." Julian smirked. "That bad? If you don't wanna tell me, that's fine. But you know you can tell me anything." For a moment, Gabriel seriously considered it. He really wished he could unload on someone. But he didn't think Julian would be quite so sanguine if he knew all of it. "Anything?" he said softly. "You don't know what you're asking." Julian rolled his eyes. "Please. I worked as a bartender in college. You don't have any dirty little secret I haven't heard at least a dozen times." 139
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Raising an eyebrow, Gabriel snorted. "You wanna bet on that?" He wasn't seriously considering telling Julian, was he? Julian fished one hand into his pants pocket and pulled out a rumpled hundred dollar bill. "Sure. Let's hear it," he declared magnanimously. Gabriel stared at the money. "I can't tell you, man. You'll hate me," he said miserably. Julian stared into Gabriel's eyes, albeit a little glassily. "Gabriel, man, you don't have to tell me. I don' wanna get all up in your business. But, I ain't gonna hate you. Promise. But it's up to you," he slurred. Gabriel hesitated. Maybe he could tell him some of it. "I'm in love with a prostitute," he blurted. Julian's eyes widened, but other than that he seemed unfazed. "Okay. Why were you going to a prostitute to begin with?" he asked. Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Why does anyone do it?" He sighed. "Renee wanted to wait until we were married, and, well, you know." "Gabriel, there's plenty of tail you could get without payin' for it," he said, huffing out a breath. "I coulda hooked you up." Gabriel blushed and giggled. "That wasn't really the point," he said. "Anyway, I didn't want any complications," he rambled a bit, relaxing as it seemed Julian wasn't freaking out. "And when I saw him, I just couldn't resist." It took a second before he realized what he'd said. Maybe Julian wouldn't notice. 140
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Julian paused, looking at him wide-eyed. "Him?" he said quietly, looking around. "Wow. This is one of those moments like in that Vacation movie where you find out the ten-yearold girl is gettin' French kissed by her dad." He blinked. "Okay, so now I understand what you mean by complications." He took a deep drink of beer. "So you're in love and the feeling isn't returned. And it's a prostitute. And it's a guy. Yeah. You're fucked, buddy." He slid the hundred dollar bill over to Gabriel. Gabriel wanted to rip out his tongue at that point. He blushed deeper and looked down. "It's worse than that," he said quietly. He may as well tell him everything now. Julian laughed, then frowned. "Sorry. How is it worse?" he asked, looking serious. Gabriel ordered another couple of shots and downed his before he answered, "He's blackmailing me. Or he was." He hung his head, and couldn't look at Julian. Julian gaped at him for a moment, then downed a shot. "Wait, what do you mean 'was'? He stopped?" he asked, sounding astonished. Gabriel shrugged, and drained half his beer. He had no idea how much he'd drank. "He said he wasn't going to ask for any more money," he said. "That's kinda weird, don'tcha think? I mean, are ya sure he doesn't like ya?" he asked foggily. "Maybe he does. Did ya tell 'im how ya feel?" he asked. "Yeah, right. Course not. He'd just laugh at me. I don't think he likes me much. He doesn't wanna see me again." Gabriel stared morosely into his beer. 141
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Julian frowned. "If he's a prostitute and he was blackmailing you, seems like as long as you're givin' him money he'd be happy to see ya. What happened that he doesn't want to see you again?" he asked. Gabriel shrugged. "I bailed him out of jail," he said. "Then I took him home and we slept together then he wouldn't take my money," he sighed. He wanted so badly to see Nicky right now. "Look, he's gotta like you if he slept with you and didn't take any money for it. Why else would he do that?" Julian asked, raking his fingers through his hair. "Dude, I gotta take a leak. I'll be right back." He stood up a little unsteadily and weaved his way back to the bathroom. Gabriel considered that for a moment. It made a bit of sense to his booze-soaked brain, and he wanted to believe it. He sipped at his beer and thought of Nicky. He had to see him again. One last time. He couldn't live like this. Nicky could be hurt or dead. He was seized with need for the pretty man once again. Julian returned a few minutes later and slid back into his seat. "It's getting kinda late and we're kinda drunk. I'm gonna get a cab. You wanna share?" he asked, nibbling on a French fry. Gabriel looked up blearily. "I'm okay to drive," he said, pulling his wallet out to pay the tab. Julian laughed. "Well okay, but your car is a mile away at the office." Julian swilled down the last of his beer and headed for the door. He got a cab in no time, and waited for Gabriel. 142
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Back at the office, Gabriel staggered to his car. Gabriel knew he shouldn't be driving, but he knew he was going to seek out Nicky. The idea had arrived fully formed in his head and he had to do it. Gabriel cruised down the street where he'd first picked up Nicky. His heart was beating fast, sobering him up. There he was. The same place he'd seen him before, and time stood still. He drove up slowly and carefully. Nicky pushed himself off the lamp post and sauntered to the curb. He stilled for a moment as the car drew close, then he approached, leaning over the passenger side window. "Hi, Gabriel." Gabriel just stared at Nicky for a long moment, drinking him in. The young man wore painted-on jeans, faded and strategically ripped, and a tight white t-shirt that showed off his slender body. Gabriel wanted him so much it hurt. "Need you," he blurted. He had meant to just say hello, play it cool, but he couldn't. He had no restraint. Nicky arched an eyebrow. He slid into the car. "I'm doing well, thanks for asking. Are you drunk?" he asked, sniffing at him. "Yeah," Gabriel said, leaning close. "God, I missed you. You look so good." He put his hand on Nicky's thigh. Nicky blinked and swallowed audibly. He put his hand on Gabriel's cheek, inhaled a deep breath, then leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips. He pulled back, staring into Gabriel's eyes. "Either you let me drive, or I'm getting out of the car," he whispered. 143
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Gabriel whimpered, staring back at him. "Okay," he said finally. He would do anything to keep Nicky from getting out. He put on the parking brake, and got out. When Nicky moved to the driver's seat, he got in the passenger seat. Nicky adjusted the mirrors. "So where are we going?" he asked. He leaned over Gabriel and buckled the other man's seat belt before buckling his own. Gabriel hadn't thought that far. "My apartment," he said, gazing at Nicky. "God, I missed you," he said, all inhibition gone. Nicky released the parking brake and pulled away from the curb carefully. He headed toward Gabriel's apartment, not asking directions. "You're taking a big risk, you realize," he said quietly. "Why did you come looking for me?" "Told you. Need you," Gabriel said, leaning over to put his hand on Nicky's thigh. "Couldn't stop thinking about you. Sorry, I know you didn't want to see me again," he said morosely. "It's not, I don't," Nicky frowned and drove faster. "It was for your own good, you moron. I was doing you a favor. You should stay away from me. You have a nice life. You should go enjoy it." Gabriel slid his hand up higher. "I can't live like this any more, baby," he said. "I can't stop thinking of you." He wanted to beg Nicky to be with him, only. Forever. Nicky drew a shaky breath as he merged onto another road. "You're drunk. Don't say anything you're gonna regret later." 144
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Gabriel leaned even closer, nuzzling at Nicky's neck. "I may be drunk but I know what I want," he moaned. He was getting aroused by the very smell of him. "Hurry." Nicky whimpered. "Almost there," he said, panting. He pulled into Gabriel's parking garage quickly. "Any space?" he asked. "Yeah, anywhere," Gabriel purred, biting at Nicky's neck. "Want you, baby." He almost couldn't believe he was going to have Nicky again. Nicky zoomed into a space and slid it into park as quickly as possible. He turned the car off and turned to Gabriel, kissing him hungrily as he unbuckled his seatbelt and slid closer to him, crawling into Gabriel's lap. He devoured his mouth, delving his tongue in with a strangled moan. Gabriel moaned deeply, hands roaming all over Nicky. He couldn't get enough. He was achingly hard, and he pulled back from the kiss and gasped, "Let's get inside or I'm gonna have to take you right here." Nicky nodded breathlessly. He opened Gabriel's door and slid out, holding out the car keys. They headed up to Gabriel's apartment, and Nicky slipped inside as soon as he had the door open. He turned to face him, panting. "You're crazy." "Crazy for you," Gabriel moaned, slamming the door and pushing Nicky up against it. He pressed his larger body against him, pinning him. Nicky moaned and gazed into Gabriel's eyes. "You're better off without me," he said, sucking in a trembling breath.
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"No," Gabriel said, shaking his head. "I tried staying away. I can't." He pressed his lips against Nicky's again, devouring his mouth. Nicky moaned, running his fingers up Gabriel's chest. He loosened and untied his tie, then started on the buttons with practiced ease. His knee slid between Gabriel's thighs and he pressed up against him as he quickly worked on removing his clothing. Gabriel was insane with need now. He was almost beyond words as he touched Nicky everywhere, hands sliding under his shirt and fumbling his jeans open. "Can't wait, baby, need you right here," he begged. "Turn around." He was a creature of pure need, and he needed to fuck Nicky right up against the door. Nicky yanked his t-shirt off over his head and turned around to face the door. He unzipped his jeans as he grunted, "Left back pocket," and kicked off his shoes. Gabriel reached into the pocket, pushing Nicky's jeans down as he pulled out a strip of condoms and a small tube of lube. He moaned as he ripped one open and put it on, only pushing his pants down enough to pull his cock out. He lubed the condom and in seconds he was ready, bending his knees to get low enough, then pressing upward into the sweet tight heat he craved. "Oh God, Nicky," he groaned. Nicky pressed his palms and his cheek against the door and moaned. "Gabriel," he rasped. He awkwardly stepped out of the jeans to spread his legs farther apart, arching his back. When Nicky spread his legs, Gabriel slipped deeper, and the pleasure was so intense he knew he would only last 146
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minutes. He slammed in and out, holding onto Nicky's slim hips, panting hard. "You feel so good, so hot, baby. Mine," he growled, claiming his body. He wanted Nicky to be all his. He'd never felt so possessive of anyone or anything. Nicky groaned. "Gabriel," he panted. He tightened his body ruthlessly around Gabriel's cock. "Touch me. Make me come, Gabriel," he rasped. Gabriel was lost now, so close that he could barely think. He reached for Nicky's cock and stroked it, wanting to give the other man the ultimate pleasure. He bit down on Nicky's shoulder, shuddering with ecstasy as he tried to hold back. Nicky cried out Gabriel's name, spilling over his fingers as he shuddered violently. "Oh God, Nicky," Gabriel nearly screamed as he finally gave in. The pleasure took him then and he could no longer hold back. A declaration of love for Nicky spilled from his lips, completely unintentional, as he pulsed inside him. Nicky slumped against the door, gasping for breath. He was trembling still, lips parted, wisps of dark hair clinging to his temple. He swallowed hard. "Can we lie down someplace?" Gabriel panted, speechless from his stunning climax, and he could only nod and lead Nicky back to the bedroom. He shed his clothes as they went, so by the time they got to the bed they were both naked. Nicky practically collapsed on the bed. He held his arms out, beckoning Gabriel. "Come here," he said softly. "My crazy, drunken..." He smirked.
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Gabriel grinned and joined Nicky on the bed. "You're fucking amazing," he said with a sated smile. He rolled over and pulled Nicky into his arms, kissing him again. Nicky relaxed against Gabriel's body and kissed back lazily. He raked his fingers through Gabriel's hair, caressing. He broke the kiss and smiled sleepily at him. "You probably won't remember half of this, you realize," he said quietly. "You should drink some water. I could use some, too, actually. Are there bottles in the fridge?" "Mmm, yes I think so," Gabriel said sleepily. "Don't leave me," he breathed, not sure what he meant. Nicky touched Gabriel's face lightly. "I'm just going to the kitchen and back," he said softly. "I'll only be a minute." He kissed him lightly on the lips then wriggled out of his grasp. **** By the time Nicky got back, though, Gabriel was sound asleep. Nicky stood beside the bed for a moment, just looking at him. He put one bottle of water down and opened the other one, taking a deep drink. Then he put it down beside the other and crawled onto the bed, pulling the covers up over both of them. He wriggled close and slid one arm around Gabriel's unconscious body. The next thing Nicky knew, it was morning. He awoke to the insistent press of Gabriel's cock against the cleft of his ass, and strong arms encircling him. It all came back in a blinding flash. Gabriel had said he loved him. 148
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But he was drunk, and high on the euphoria of orgasm. He couldn't really mean it. He couldn't be in love with a whore he picked up on the street. One who'd blackmailed him, no less. Don't leave me. Nicky remembered that, too. Even now it made his breath hitch. It was a sweet dream he'd given up for lost. It was what he craved more than anything. Someone who wanted him for something other than a blowjob or a quick fuck. Someone who couldn't live without him. He wanted to cry. He couldn't do this. He couldn't let Gabriel ruin his life like this. But he could enjoy the fantasy for a little while longer. He wriggled back against him and peered out through one eye. He fumbled for a condom on the bedside table and the small tube of lube. Gabriel woke, already rocking against Nicky, rock hard and breathless. Nicky put the condom on him, and he slipped inside him easily, still spooned together. Gabriel kissed the back of Nicky's neck and held him firmly as they moved together. Nicky slid his leg back and up over Gabriel's hip with a whimper. No one had ever filled him the way Gabriel did and he was sure no one ever would. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed back with each deep thrust. "Gabriel, oh fuck, so good," he said softly. He wondered what the other man remembered about the other night. The pace was slower than last night, and the passion built up more languidly. Gabriel moved deeply and slowly, whispering sweet words in Nicky's ear and raining kisses all over his warm skin. 149
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It wasn't long before Nicky was ready again. "Gabriel, can I come?" he asked, gasping for breath. Some people liked to be asked, and Gabriel was one of them. Nicky wanted to be everything Gabriel wanted. "Oh baby, yes, come for me." Gabriel panted, moving faster. "You're so sexy, so beautiful. Oh, God." Nicky moaned softly as his body trembled through his release. Gabriel's words were like a caress and he let them burn into his memory. Please don't leave me. It forced another whimper from him as those words slid through his consciousness again. Gabriel came quickly after, groaning as he emptied himself into Nicky. He held him, not moving, for long moments afterward. It was bittersweet, and Nicky sighed softly. He was going to leave Gabriel again, because he loved him and because Gabriel deserved better than him. His throat was tight with emotion. Maybe he could become a better person. Maybe ... it was a long shot. He would probably fail. But he had to try. "How do you feel?" he asked softly. Gabriel stretched, yawning. "I think I have a hangover," he said hoarsely. He turned Nicky so he could look at him, and he smiled softly. "I was really drunk, wasn't I? I didn't hurt you or anything, did I?" He asked with concern. "You were totally wasted, yeah. But no. You didn't hurt me." Nicky looked down. "You were a little rough, but it was nice. Desperate and hot." He hid his face in Gabriel's neck. He breathed deep, memorizing his scent. "You let me drive your car," he whispered. 150
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Gabriel laughed. "Wow, I must really have been drunk. Sorry." He caressed Nicky's back gently. "Did I do anything really stupid, or say anything incriminating?" He frowned. Nicky looked up, searching Gabriel's eyes. "You don't remember any of it, do you?" The sweetest night of his life, and it was nothing to Gabriel. He frowned. "No, nothing incriminating." He swallowed hard. Best to put things back in perspective for both of them. "I gotta go. You're lucky I had already made my quota before you found me." "No!" Gabriel cried, tightening his grip on Nicky, then he quieted. "I mean, please stay. Let me make you breakfast. I'll pay you." "You'll pay me to eat?" he asked, smirking. "I told you the last time I don't want you to pay me." Of course Gabriel thought of him as a whore. He was a whore. But he wanted what was between them to be something other than a business transaction. It was a foolish dream that he was trying hard to extinguish. When Gabriel mentioned money, it just twisted the knife in Nicky's heart. Gabriel blushed. "No, I mean I want you to eat, but if you need to make money I'll give you some," he tried to explain. "I just want to be sure you're okay." "I have enough. I don't need you to pay me, Gabriel." He frowned and moved back. "Really. Can you maybe not mention paying me for sex anymore? I mean, I know that's what I do for a living, but..." He sighed. Now he was just sounding pathetic. He swallowed hard and ran his hands over his face. "I'm sorry. Just forget it." 151
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Gabriel blinked. "I'm sorry. I just don't want you to be..." He shook his head. "Nicky, I've been thinking about this, and I want to take care of you, I can set you up in an apartment and you don't have to do that any more." It was all like some horrible nightmare, suddenly. He frowned at him. "Take care of me?" He moved further back. "No. I'm not ... I'm not gonna ... what the hell, Gabriel. I'm not gonna be your fucking mistress. I've never asked anyone for a handout, and I'm not about to start now." He felt tears clouding his vision. He climbed off the bed and wiped at his eyes. "You know what? Fuck you. You can't fucking afford to fuck me exclusively." He stood and stalked toward the bathroom to get his clothes. Gabriel just stared after him blankly for a moment, then scrambled to run after him. "Wait! Nicky! You misunderstood! It's not a handout! I want to help. I want you, not as my mistress." He stood in the bathroom doorway, blocking the way. "Please, Nicky. I'm sorry. Don't go." Nicky pulled on his jeans, cleaning himself off in the elegantly decorated room. He felt completely out of place, cheap and tawdry amidst the clean, chiseled lines of marble and slate. He whirled and stared at Gabriel. "I can't do this. I can't be what you want me to be. I'm not fucking good enough." He took a step toward him and braced his hands on Gabriel's shoulders. "Let me go." Gabriel brought his hands up to Nicky's shoulders. "Please, baby, don't do this, I need you, don't leave me," he said, unconsciously echoing his words from the previous night. 152
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Nicky sucked in a breath. He couldn't let himself falter. He couldn't let Gabriel throw away everything for him. "I'm sure that you mean well," he said haltingly. "But, I don't want to be your little piece on the side. What I do might not be polite or moral or any of that shit. But it's honest. I strayed from that with you, and maybe that's why you think I'd want you to 'set me up' in some apartment and 'take care of me'. So, as usual, it's still my fault." He shrugged, and an unnatural sense of calm and detachment came over him. He had to focus. He had to concentrate on what needed to be done. He was usually so good at that, especially during a particularly unpleasant trick. He could step outside himself and let his sense do the talking, regardless of the fear or humiliation or revulsion he felt. "You don't need me. You don't even know me. What you want from me you can still get any time." "Nicky." Gabriel just stared forlornly at Nicky for a moment, then looked down. He stepped back, out of the way. "I'm sorry. It's my fault. I didn't mean to insinuate anything about you." He looked down, biting his lip. "I won't bother you again. Since you don't want my money." It would be so easy to correct him, make him see what it was that he was missing from the conversation. And he wanted to so badly. He wanted to throw himself on Gabriel's mercy and beg him to leave his fiancée. "Goodbye, Gabriel," he said softly. He leaned close and kissed him on the cheek, then slipped past him. Gabriel didn't move this time, didn't protest. He just stood still, staring at the floor, and said, "Goodbye, Nicky." **** 153
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Nicky moved in a daze. He left Gabriel's place and got a cab home. He stared out the window on the short drive across town. He'd left behind the only person he'd ever loved. But it was because he loved Gabriel that he had to cut him loose and make him realize that he shouldn't throw his life away. He shook himself mentally. He was usually cynical, but he was acting downright morose. He had to turn his thoughts to some action, some way to fix his own life. He didn't expect Gabriel to wait for him, but at least he could dig himself out of the mire and maybe be worthy of love again. But, he was going to need a lot of cash, and he only knew one way to make it. Mark only expected a set amount per night. If he could make substantially more, Mark didn't have to ever know about it. He could open a bank account in his real name, hide the money from the ruthless pimp. Then he could start fresh. There was no time to waste. He was rested. All he needed was a shower and some new clothes and he could set out on the prowl, maybe in a new area. Maybe back at that fancy hotel. He paid the cab and went up to his apartment, showering quickly and heading back out to do a little shopping. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Fourteen Gabriel spent the next several days somewhat numb. He couldn't believe he'd fallen so hard for Nicky, and that he'd screwed up so badly. He couldn't think of never seeing Nicky again. He needed him. Things seemed pointless now. He avoided Renee as much as possible, because he didn't know if he could manage to act normally around her. As usual, he threw himself into his work. At least he had that. It kept him from thinking too much. It was too painful. He was between cases at the moment, so he helped the other partners and did piles of paperwork. And he couldn't keep Nicky's face from popping into his mind. Julian slipped into Gabriel's office to bring him some transcripts of some witness statements for the case they were working on. He handed them over and then took a seat across from Gabriel's desk. "So, how's things?" he asked. Gabriel looked up at Julian. He knew he looked like shit, dark circles under his eyes and a haggard expression. "It's over," he whispered. "Between Nicky and I. I fucked it all up." Julian frowned pensively. "You wanna talk about it?" he asked quietly. Gabriel sighed. "What good would it do?" he said, though it was nice to have someone around he knew he could confide in. "He made it pretty clear. I told him I wanted to take care of him, and I guess it was the wrong thing to say." "What the hell does the damn little urchin want? Sounds like a good deal to me," Julian protested, albeit quietly. 155
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"He said he doesn't want to be my mistress," Gabriel said miserably. He buried his face in his hands. "I can't stop thinking about him. I really upset him." "You think he wants to fuck with your engagement with Renee? Has he tried to blackmail you again?" he asked leaning in and lowering his voice. Gabriel's eyes widened. "No, not at all! He wouldn't even take my money for," he blushed, "well, you know. He said I should stay away from him." Julian shrugged. "Maybe that's good advice. I mean, I gotta be honest with you. I don't think he hates you. But what do you think could come of it?" he asked. "What could come of it? I'm in love with him, damn it," Gabriel said, and he had to force himself to lower his voice. "Calm down, man. I'm only playing devil's advocate. Are you willing to give up your life as you know it for this guy? 'Cause that's what it would be, you know. Sounds like he's not interested in discreetly letting you fuck him occasionally. So are you gonna dump Renee, say goodbye to whatever political aspirations you might have, and hell, maybe even your chance to be a full partner here?" Gabriel sighed. "Don't sugarcoat it or anything." He shook his head. "I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is that I've never felt this way about anyone. Ever." Julian smirked. "Look, it's up to you. If you wanna cash out and live like a king in some banana republic until you're old and gray, be my guest. You're the one that has to live your life. And just being gay is not gonna stop you from doing anything. It'll just make it more difficult." 156
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Gabriel snickered. "You know, you're taking this all pretty well," he remarked. "You don't know how much it helps to actually be able to tell someone about this, man. Even if you're making me more depressed." He tried to smile. Julian smiled. "I don't have a problem with it. I've thought some guys were hot sometimes. It's not that big a deal these days. It's cool. I said you could tell me anything, right?" Gabriel smiled. "I knew there was a reason we were friends," he said with relief. He looked down. "Julian, I really never thought I could have feelings for someone, so deeply. I've had a pretty fucked up track record when it comes to these things, but really, it's more than sex." "And you're convinced he doesn't feel the same?" Julian asked, his brow furrowing. Gabriel looked up at him. "If he did feel the same, why would he tell me to stay away?" He wondered. "I don't expect him to be my mistress, as he put it. I would break it off with Renee, he must know that." Though he hadn't said it in so many words. Julian rolled his eyes. "And why would he know that? Honestly. He's a male prostitute. Why would he think a successful lawyer engaged to the mayor's daughter would give it all up for him? Did you tell him you would break up with Renee?" Gabriel's mouth dropped open. "I guess I wasn't clear. I mean," Now that he thought about it, he realized how it might have sounded. "Oh, God. I really fucked up, didn't I?" No wonder Nicky hadn't wanted that. 157
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"Well, I think you probably gave him the wrong impression," he offered. "Can you still get in touch with him?" Gabriel thought for a moment. "I promised I wouldn't bother him," he said haltingly. "But I do have his cell phone number." He touched his Blackberry reverently. "Do you even know his last name?" Julian asked. He sat back in his chair, crossing his legs. Gabriel shook his head, and said, "No. I'm a terrible person." Julian laughed. "Oh yeah. You're a real bastard. How dare you offer him a place to live so he can stop selling his body?" Frowning, Gabriel answered, "Maybe I should call him. Try to explain." "If you gotta have him, I guess you don't have a choice," he said, standing up. "Our session is over now. I'll send you a bill," he added with a grin. "Gotta get back to work." Gabriel felt strangely better for having talked to Julian. Even though nothing had been resolved, he had a better idea of what was going on and where he'd gone wrong. And what he could do about it. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Fifteen It wasn't difficult to find business. Nicky was quite good at it. When he got to the Hilton, he made his way back to the bar. It was less crowded than it had been when he'd been there with Anthony, but there were still customers to be had. He was dressed a little more expensively, but he still exuded that boy-for-hire vibe. He didn't want to stand out enough that an undercover cop might spot him, though. He happened upon a young man at the bar, drunk and big, probably waiting for a few friends. He looked like the kind of guy that would never consider himself bisexual. He probably played football or field hockey. But Nicky knew this type, too. They liked the illicit. They liked to tread lightly on the wild side. They wanted something they would never get from their little sorority girlfriends. After a short conversation, it became clear that Nicky was right. They were spoiled, wealthy frat boys, on a vacation together. The scenario made Nicky nervous, but the guy had cash, and lots of it. He didn't mind flashing it. "Four grand if we all get to take turns," he said, leaning close to Nicky's ear. "All? How many in an 'all'?" "There's four of us. A grand each for the night. When my buddies get back with the beer we're going up to the suite. What do you say?" Nicky licked his lips, his heart pounding. He wasn't unattractive, though that usually didn't figure into Nicky's 159
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decisions. Nor did the young man's overwhelming size really deter him. It was that he seemed stupid, and yet arrogant. It was a combination that never failed to raise Nicky's hackles. But then, he remembered his purpose, to get to a place where he would never have to deal with guys like this again. "Yeah. Okay." The man paid his bar tab and took hold of Nicky's arm. He led him up to the room, and a couple of minutes later the room was filled with big jock-looking guys. After their initial nervousness at having a male prostitute there, Nicky was pushed to his knees. The room was brightly lit. The carpet was thick beneath him. There was a faint odor of beer and sweat hovering in the air that was soon replaced by the familiar musk of the cock in his face. They set him to work sucking off the most reticent of them, by way of convincing the guy, while the others watched and drank. The college boy grunted and pulled Nicky's hair as he came over his face. The next thing he knew, strong hands were pulling him up and undressing him. He felt overwhelmed. There were so many of them, talking and laughing and drinking. He was pulled off balance, pushed down again, another cock in his face. He closed his eyes and sucked for all he was worth as they fucked his mouth and called him a dirty piece of shit whore. Insults didn't touch him. In fact, there was a part of him that remained untouched by anything. Only one person had ever breached that particular wall, but now it was comfortably back in place. He was lifted onto the bed on hands and knees. They had condoms, at least, and then he was being fucked hard and 160
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fast. Whoever was behind him was grunting. They spilled beer on the bed and cursed, but didn't let up until they came. And then another was on him, pounding hard. He lost track, wasn't sure if two or three had fucked him. His body felt stretched and sore. In fact, he felt just about as unsexy as he thought it was possible to feel. He was an expert at faking it, however. He was left on the bed for a few minutes while they wandered in and out. He took the opportunity to lie still and try to recover. After a half an hour, one of them was ready again. Nicky was dragged into the shower. Pressed up against the wall in a twisted reenactment of the time he and Gabriel had made out in the shower, he was brutally fucked against the cool tile wall. Sometime after daylight, slowly they began to pass out. Their groping touches became unfocused and unfinished, and finally all in the room slept where they fell. Nicky awoke a few hours later, curled in a ball in one of the chairs. Nicky felt weak. He hadn't even bothered to shower, just took his money and got out of that room before any of them woke up. It was already late in the day. He headed down the hotel elevator, and all he was thinking about was his shower. Just as he got to the lobby, though, he felt his phone vibrating in his back pocket. He pulled it out as he went to grab a cab at the front of the hotel. He squinted at the sunlight, wishing that he had his sunglasses with him. He flipped the phone open. "Hello?" Gabriel's voice sounded tentative. "Nicky?" 161
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Nicky was just sliding into a cab. "Hello, Gabriel." He gave the cab driver his address, then wondered if Gabriel had heard. "How are you?" he said quietly, sitting back against the vinyl seat. His throat felt tight, but he just couldn't hang up on him. "Awful without you," he blurted. "Miss you, Nicky. I know I said I would leave you alone but I couldn't." Nicky squeezed his eyes shut. He tried to remember that Gabriel only wanted to fuck him. "What do you want, Gabriel?" he asked, struggling to keep his voice neutral. "I want to see you," Gabriel said. "To ... just talk." "Talk about what?" he asked sharply. "Gonna put me on the payroll? Do I get health insurance?" He needed to do this, even if all he wanted was to give the cab driver Gabriel's address instead. There was silence on the other end of the phone for a long moment, then Gabriel said, "I just want to explain." "Gabriel, there's nothing to explain. You were very clear. Just, take care of yourself, okay? You don't need me." He swallowed hard. He ached physically and emotionally. "Please, Nicky. Just listen. It's not what you think—" "No, Gabriel. Goodbye," he said, interrupting him. He flipped the phone shut. He frowned and pulled his knees up, pressing his lips against the phone. The cab arrived at his apartment and he paid the man with slightly soggy bills, slipping out of the car stiffly. ****
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Gabriel stared at the phone for a long moment, as if the phone itself was to blame. He waited as long as he could, two days. Then he called again. The phone rang several times, then went to voicemail. He didn't leave a message. He tried again the next day. Voicemail again, but this time he left a message. After two more days with no reply, Gabriel tried once more. It went to voicemail, and he closed the phone gently. He didn't try again. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Sixteen A few days later, Nicky stumbled home after four in the morning. He crept in as quietly as he could and collapsed on his stomach on his narrow bed with a soft groan. He could hear Anthony moving around in his room, so at least he hadn't woken him. Anthony sauntered out, clad in only a wispy thin robe that hung open to the waist, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. "You look like shit, darlin'," he said cheerfully. Nicky glanced over his shoulder at Anthony, squinting through one eye. "I've been specializing in gang bangs lately," he groaned. He ached all over, but he didn't have the energy to make it to the bathroom to have a shower. Anthony moved closer and sniffed. "I can tell," he said. "You running a buy one, get one free special or something?" He sat on the bed next to Nicky gingerly. "Just trying to make a little extra. Don't tell Satan, obviously." He rolled stiffly onto his side to look at Anthony. "Been at it for like, a week now. I need a break." Anthony raised an eyebrow. "A little extra? For what? And you can't possibly think you can hide it from him. He sees all. Like Santa or God or something." "Gonna quit," he said sleepily. "I don't wanna be a fucking whore anymore. I wanna have a normal life." Anthony raised an eyebrow and patted Nicky on the back gently. "He's not gonna let you go until he's ready to, you know that." 164
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Nicky frowned. "I'm not a slave. What is he gonna do, kill me because I don't wanna turn tricks anymore?" he asked. It was what had been going through the back of his mind, what he feared on some level. Anthony didn't even smile. He lowered his voice and said, "I've heard things like that before, yes." Nicky swallowed hard. "There has to be a way to get out of it. I just want to be a normal person, someone who..." Someone who could fall in love and be with someone, he thought glumly. Anthony patted him on the back. "We're not normal people, honey," he reminded him. "If I thought I could get away..." He trailed off, looking at the blank, stained wall. Nicky knew better than to tell Anthony how much money he'd amassed or where he'd stashed it. Mark couldn't get to it, and that was what was important. "Well, I'm gonna quit, and if he wants to kill me, well, he's gonna have to catch me first." Anthony shook his head. "It's not really that bad, is it? If you behave and turn a couple of tricks a night, he can be very nice. Why do you want to take a chance like that?" Nicky debated telling the other prostitute. He certainly wasn't going to mention names, but maybe it would help to confide. "I kinda met someone," he said softly. "He kinda said he loves me." Anthony gasped softly. "Get out! You're kidding me! Is he some old rich guy?"
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Nicky laughed. "He's not old. He," Nicky smiled wickedly for a moment, "he's got a huge dick. And he treats me like he can't live without me, you know?" Anthony giggled. "You'd think you'd have enough of dick by now." Nicky groaned. "Well, right this second, yeah." He smiled softly. "In general, though, I love dick. If it was like once or twice a night, God, that'd be fucking heavenly. I've probably done it fifty times in the last four days." Anthony shook his head. "So, you want to run away? Do you really think this guy is gonna want you? That shit only happens in movies." Nicky frowned. "No. I don't expect him to wait. I just wanna be the kind of person that someone like that could maybe actually be with some day. I wanna have a nice guy to take care of. Fuck only one person. Have a real job that I'm not ashamed of." Anthony gave a cynical smile. "Nice life if you can get it," he sighed and stood. "Look. I gotta get to work. Good luck with that." "Hey. Thanks for listening to me," he said quietly. With a heavy sigh, he dragged himself up to have a long hot bath. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Seventeen Most of the time, Gabriel was able to maintain a semblance of normalcy. Julian knew, and most of his coworkers didn't ask personal questions. But, there was Renee. Every time he saw her it got harder and harder to pretend everything was okay. He knew he should just end it with her, but he was afraid to hurt her and he just didn't know how to go about it. Finally, Renee told Gabriel she was fed up with waiting to spend time with him. She insisted on dinner at her place. She met him at the door in a tight, low-neck sweater and short skirt. "Well, hi, I'm Renee, nice to meet you," she said with a smile, stepping back to let him in. Gabriel swallowed hard. He'd never seen Renee dressed quite like that. "Sorry," he said. "I know I haven't been around much." He'd been trying to avoid her, though, so he felt the expected stab of guilt. He did care for her, but he didn't love her. "I know you've been hard at work, Gabriel," she said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "I hope you're hungry," she said brightly. She ushered him into the dining room and started bustling around, lighting the candles. "Would you open the wine?" Gabriel felt nervous, but he busied himself opening the expensive bottle. "You look nice," he offered, setting the bottle on the table. "What's the occasion? I didn't forget something, did I?" 167
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"Well, seeing you at all is like an occasion," she said, bringing out a bowl of salad. "I just wanted a special night, just the two of us. It's been such a long time since we've spent an evening together." Gabriel tried to smile and act cheerful, but he felt like such a liar. He kept seeing Nicky's face, remembering their times together. The meal was excellent. Renee was a very good cook. She was trying so hard, so Gabriel did his best to be a charming companion. After the meal was finished and the plates cleaned up, Renee coaxed Gabriel into the living room to the couch. She sat close to him and touched him proprietarily, brushing wisps of hair off his forehead. "So, did you miss me at least?" she asked, kicking off her shoes and curling her legs beneath her. "Of course," Gabriel said automatically. He was feeling a little nervous with her so close. He also felt disloyal to Nicky, which was ridiculous. But, at least he knew Renee wouldn't want to go farther than a few tame kisses. Renee smiled, twirling a lock of Gabriel's hair around her finger. "Good. I was thinking," she leaned in and kissed him sensuously on the lips, "there's really no reason to wait until the wedding, is there?" Gabriel's heart started beating faster. He pulled back as soon as he could and stammered, "Wait for what?" Though, he knew just what she meant. Renee slid her hand around his waist, smiling. "To fool around, silly," she said quietly. "Have sex." She ducked her head and started kissing the side of his neck. 168
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Gabriel whimpered, but not with pleasure. He hadn't thought about this. "Renee, sweetie," he said, leaning back. "I thought you wanted to wait." "I did, but it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind, you know. I want you to spend the night, Gabriel. You've been so busy lately. Now that we have time together, I want to make the most of it." Oh shit, Gabriel thought to himself. Out loud he said, "But, Renee, I don't want you to regret this later." He had to buy some time. He had thought it wouldn't become an issue. She pouted and tugged on his tie. "I won't regret it," she whined. "C'mon, Gabriel, doesn't little Gabriel wanna come out and play?" she asked as he fingers trailed downwards. Gabriel almost choked at that. "Little Gabriel" most definitely didn't want to come out and play. It wasn't that he didn't like women, too, but his heart belonged to Nicky, and he wasn't about to sleep with Renee. He pulled her hands away. "Renee, I..." Renee's fingers tugged down Gabriel's fly. "C'mon, baby. I wanna do it with you." She kissed him on the lips. Gabriel pushed Renee's hands away and broke the kiss. "Sweetie," he said, wishing he could figure a way out of this. "Have you ever, you're not ready..." Renee sat back, blinking. "Gabriel! You don't want me?" she asked, accusation in her voice. Gabriel thought fast. "I just want to make our wedding night special," he said softly. He looked deeply into Renee's eyes, and he knew he couldn't do it. He loved Nicky. He had 169
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to break it off with her. Even if he never saw Nicky again, he couldn't live a lie. "It would still be special, baby. Please? I really, really want to be with you tonight," she pleaded. Gabriel swallowed hard and scooted back. "Renee, I don't think we should." He wasn't sure how to put her off, but he wasn't going to sleep with her. Renee moved back finally and folded her arms across her chest. "Fine, but you could be a little more reassuring, Gabriel. A girl could get paranoid, you know. I haven't talked to you for more than two minutes in days and now this. You're the one who's supposed to be trying to get into my pants, you know." Gabriel tried to look hurt. "I thought you liked that I was a gentleman," he said, hoping he was convincing enough. She sighed heavily. "I know. I do. But the wedding is such a long time away. I mean, there are other things we could do besides actually have sex." Gabriel relaxed. This sounded better. At least she wasn't pushing for sex. "Okay," he said. "Like what?" Renee smiled again and leaned close, tugging on the button on Gabriel's pants. "I could, you know, suck you." she whispered, licking her lips dramatically as she gazed into his eyes. Gabriel's eyes widened. "Um, you don't have to do that," he said, sounding slightly panicked. He wasn't even hard, and he doubted he could get that way anyway. He only wanted Nicky. 170
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Renee pouted again. "Fine. Forget I said anything." She leaned back again. She looked over at him and her expression softened. "Oh, Gabriel, here you have been working all these extra hours and I'm just stressing you out more. I'm sorry, baby." She slid her arms around his neck and hugged him. Gabriel breathed a sigh of relief. He hugged her and rubbed her back platonically. "Would you like to watch a movie?" he asked. He would even be happy with a chick flick at this point. "Sure," she said, trying to smile. "I just got Bridget Jones' Diary on Netflix," she suggested. They watched the movie, cuddled on the couch, and Gabriel got out of there with only a few more kisses, and he counted himself lucky. He had to do something about this. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Eighteen Nicky knew it was going to be bad. When Mark had called him in for a meeting he'd resisted, but the threats were real. Somehow, Mark knew about Gabriel. He didn't know everything, but he knew quite a lot. He promised to find out who it was that Nicky had fallen for, and destroy his life. So Nicky went to see Mark. He returned to the warehouse and went to Mark's office. When he arrived, the pimp was shirtless, pounding the punching bag viciously. Nicky cleared his throat. Mark looked over his shoulder, smiled, and pummeled the bag a couple more times before stalking close to Nicky. He didn't hesitate. He punched Nicky in the stomach, hard. Nicky crumpled instantly, doubling over and falling forward with a grunt. Mark grabbed him by the hair, pulling him upright again, forcing Nicky to look in his face. Nicky whimpered and looked into Mark's eyes. "You can beat me to death but it won't change anything," he ground out. Mark smirked. "So glad I have your permission," he purred before punching Nicky in the face, letting him go so he flew across the room. Nicky tumbled sideways, landing with a sickening crack. He could taste blood in his mouth as he hit the ground. His shoulder instantly exploded with pain, and he winced, unable to make more than a grunt. He curled up in a ball, instinctively trying to protect himself as well as he could. 172
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"What do you want?" he mumbled, knowing full well it was far from over. Mark stood over him. He kicked him in the ribs and said, "I own you, you miserable whore. How dare you?" Nicky moaned and gasped. Drawing in a breath was sharply painful and he wondered if he'd broken a rib. "You don't own me. There's no slavery in this country," he ground out. "This is my country here, fucking bitch," Mark snarled. "You're mine, body and soul. You don't give it away." Nicky dragged himself in a sitting position on the floor. "I'm not a possession," he said, wiping the blood from his lip with the back of his hand. "I can't do it any more. I can't. Mark, please. Just let me go." He looked down. He knew his situation was bad, but he wasn't broken yet. He would die before he would give up Gabriel. He only hoped there was no way they could trace him. Gabriel was so lax about protecting himself, he realized, as his shoulder, ribs, face and skull tried to draw his attention back to the throbbing agony of his body. "Did you think this was voluntary? That you could quit whenever you wanted?" Mark reached down and yanked Nicky's hair hard to the side, then pulled him to his feet. "You're my top money maker. You're going nowhere. Not till I say." Nicky shook his head. "No. I won't. I can't. I'm serious, Mark." He could barely stand up and he leaned on Mark. "I won't."
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Mark responded by punching Nicky in the stomach again. Then he said, "This is nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you if you don't tell me who your sugar daddy is." Nicky laughed and then winced. "I don't have a sugar daddy," he said bitterly. "I just want out. You can't force me. You can only kill me and then I'll be worth nothing to you." "I'll make you wish you were dead," hissed Mark. "And I'll find out who he is and do the same to him. After I've finished with you." Nicky tried to remain stoic as his eye started to swell. "Good luck with that," he croaked. Bravado was all he had to offer. He wasn't going to give up Gabriel, no matter what. "Stupid little whore," Mark laughed nastily. "You think he cares about you? You're protecting him and all he really wants is a free piece of ass. You're fucking dead." He dragged Nicky across the room by his hair. "Let's see how much you can take before you crack." Just then, Mark's cell phone, which was sitting on his desk, started ringing. He scowled. "Fuck." He dropped Nicky and strode to answer it. Nicky collapsed on the floor suddenly as Mark released him. He listened to half the conversation, and he gathered that something had gone terribly wrong for Mark. Either way, he didn't feel up to moving, and he relaxed against the cold floor as Mark spoke on his cell phone. As he tried to concentrate on not passing out, he listened to as much of the conversation as he could. He could hear blood rushing in his ears, feel it dripping from his slack lips, feel it oozing through his hair. He could only imagine what he must look like, and he 174
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vaguely wondered if there was a mirror in the room. He realized that he was gazing directly at a plain industrial issue clock on the wall, and he was struck by the fact that he could feel so completely broken from a beating that had lasted only ten minutes. Mark snapped the phone shut and walked quickly to stand in front of Nicky. "I have to go put out a fire," he snarled. "I won't be long. Stay here. Our discussion isn't finished." With one more kick to Nicky's ribs, he pulled on a shirt and stalked out, slamming the door. Time seemed to crawl by once Mark was gone. Nicky managed to sit up eventually. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and saw that he was still bleeding. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to move. He couldn't have left of his own volition if he'd tried. As he sat there, a pleasant numbness crawled over him from remaining absolutely still. His thoughts spun out ahead of him. Perhaps Mark would kill him when he returned. Gabriel would move on, and never know what happened to him. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment. But maybe he'd find a way out. He would give up this life and make a new one. Gabriel would find him again, and they could be together, somewhere where no one knew him, where they could live almost openly. He watched the clock. Half an hour passed, then forty five minutes. It was nearly an hour before Mark returned, looking pale. He walked past Nicky, throwing his phone on the desk, and paced back and forth a couple of times before stopping in front of Nicky. "Get up," he spat with disgust. 175
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Awkwardly and painfully Nicky pulled himself to his feet. He swayed, then held onto the edge of the desk. "Take care of your fire?" he slurred, his lip split and numb. Mark stood in front of him, eyes narrowed. His arms were crossed. "Yeah, I took care of it. Permanently." He paused, then smiled. "I think our discussion is over for now. I've considered it. And I'll let you quit. On one condition." Nicky's eyes widened. He thought he'd misheard for a moment, and his heart started to pound. He wanted to quit, but he had to hear the condition first. "What?" he asked warily. "The deal went bad. I had to kill somebody. He was going to go to the cops." He stepped closer to Nicky. "You're my alibi. I was here all along. You do that, and you're free." He waited, watching Nicky's reaction. "Done," Nicky said, without hesitation. "Though I bet it would look even better if you took me to the hospital." He wasn't sure if he could even walk out to the curb to get a cab without help. "Then there'll be records of you being there at a certain time to corroborate," he said, his voice raspy. Mark raised an eyebrow and put his arm carefully around Nicky. "What a good idea. I'm so glad you see the value in our little agreement." He led him out the door. "I'm going to miss the money you made for me, but I'm sure there will be others." Nicky leaned heavily on Mark as he led him to a car and drove him to the emergency room. He could see the other man was getting antsy when they had to wait nearly an hour, 176
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but eventually he did get seen. He paid in cash and they didn't ask any questions. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Nineteen By the time Nicky got back to his place it was morning, and all he wanted to do was sleep. He couldn't even begin to enjoy the idea that he was finally free. He had nowhere to go, nothing to do. He had enough money to get by for a while. He locked the door to his room and collapsed on his narrow bed. He slept for a full day, enjoying a blissful, dreamless sleep. When he woke, it was morning again. Moving was difficult, but he got into the shower, and then things got easier. The hospital had sent him home with extra bandages for his ribs and he wrapped them awkwardly. His housemates were all sleeping soundly when he slipped out. He went to a local coffee house and sat for a long time, staring out at the sidewalk. As he sipped his mocha latte, he tried to imagine what he was going to do with his life. He was torn between excitement and dread. He had no explanation for the last two years, which meant some crappy minimum wage job, but even that was better than letting random strangers fuck him and beat him for money. He would even pay taxes like a real person. For the first time in a long time, he thought about his parents. He wondered if they'd ever looked for him after he disappeared, or if they'd just washed their hands of him and been done with it. He pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open. Their number was in there, though he'd never called it. He scrolled to it in the phone book, and just stared at it until the screen saver blacked out the display. There was no point 178
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in reopening old wounds. Though he already was, as he thought back. He'd left home when he was seventeen. He'd been far from innocent even then. He had always been different, always been a little out of place in the small backwoods town. He was small and thin and prettier than many of the girls, but he had an older brother who had diverted a lot of the censure away from him when he was younger. Nicky's father was content to have at least one son that might reflect his own childhood glory—of being the star quarterback of a champion high school football team. Nicky certainly wasn't going to. But, like most teenage boys in towns with little distraction, Nicky's brother liked to drink, and before his seventeenth birthday his luck ran out. He died in a fiery car wreck along with two of his best friends. That left Nicky to carry the mantle of only son, a role he was ill-equipped to fulfill. He, too, indulged in a few parties, a few nights of drunken debauchery, but he wasn't part of the football crowd. And he didn't want to die. He enjoyed risks of a different sort. He knew from an early age that he was gay, before he even knew the word. He also knew it wasn't something that anyone else could know about. Well, almost no one else. On his sixteenth birthday, Nicky lost his virginity. Even in a small town, there were others who shared his tastes, and it didn't take much to find them. There was the music teacher and the guy who sprayed the shoes at the bowling alley, but on his sixteenth birthday, Nicky gave his virginity to one of his father's poker buddies. 179
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That was his biggest mistake. It never happened again. But six months later, in a drunken fit of guilt, the idiot confessed everything to his wife. Then to Nicky's dad, and anyone else who would listen. It was an instant scandal. Afterwards, Nicky found himself completely shunned by his father and mostly by his mother as well. He probably shouldn't have blamed them, because they were shunned by the rest of the town. The wife of the man who had fucked him never missed an opportunity to spit on any of them. People moved to the other side of the street when he saw him coming. It was like something out of a movie. Life had been intolerable before, but now it was almost unlivable. He couldn't get a job anywhere. He couldn't ask his parents for money. He was beaten up regularly at school. He was forbidden in either gym locker room. The only thing that kept him going was spite to everyone who reviled him. He wasn't going to remove himself and make their lives easier. The bitter irony of it became clear as the months dragged on. Finally, Nicky noticed that his mother's friends started to come around again, inviting her for lunches, taking her out shopping. His father returned to hanging out at the bar again. He wasn't sure if he was glad for this return to normalcy or not. It did take some the pressure off of him, but it didn't actually result in his being treated any differently, by anyone. His father barely acknowledged his existence. His mother was kinder in private, but only just. Her husband was clearly her king. Until one night. He was studying for finals, determined to graduate from high school at least, even if going there at all 180
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was a daily battle. He came down to the kitchen to find his father setting up the kitchen table for a game of poker. "Tell him to stay in his room," his father growled, to his mother as he rarely addressed Nicky. Nicky's mother looked helplessly from husband to son. "You need to stay in your room," she said, her voice flat. "What? Why?" he asked. He surveyed the room with a frown. "He can stay in his room or get the fuck out." It was a flat statement. Nicky stared at his father. "He's coming here to play poker, isn't he?" Telling silence greeted him. His mother looked away. He was stunned. His parents had forgiven the man who'd fucked him, but not him. "So you'll talk to him, but you won't talk to me?" he asked in disbelief. And here he'd thought life couldn't get any worse. Instead of answering, his father stalked across the kitchen toward Nicky. In a moment he had his hands around Nicky's throat, and had him pushed back to the wall. He deigned to address his son at last. "It's all your fault, parading around here in your tight little pants like a fucking faggot. Bill's a good man. He would never have done something like that if it wasn't for you. You're a disgrace to this family. A disgrace to your brother's memory. You are not my son," he hissed. Nicky could only stare. When he released him, Nicky slid to the floor, out of breath from having his windpipe held closed. He coughed weakly, then looked up. "Of course. Because you forty-five-year-olds are always at the mercy of us crafty 181
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sixteen-year-olds," he choked out. He hadn't gone out of his way to seduce the other man, though he hadn't protested, either. As he struggled to his feet again, his father backhanded him across the mouth. "Pack your things and get the hell out," he said, turning away from Nicky again. Those were the last words he ever said to his son. Without another word, Nicky went to his room, packed up his school books and some clothes, and did just as he was told. He had no plan, no place to stay. He snuck into school and found a janitor's closet that seemed unused. He used his backpack as a pillow and slept there through the night. How he survived the next few weeks until finals, he wasn't sure. He slept at the school and showered in the gym late at night. His only source of food was school lunches. The place was such a whirlwind of end-of-year activity that no one really noticed him. He took his exams, and then left without looking back. With only his backpack filled with meager possessions, he hitchhiked to California. When he could, he suckered money out of lonely truckers, though the truck stop competition was stiff. By the time he made it to the coast, he'd turned seventeen. He met Mark the following day. Somehow the pimp had known that Nicky would be the perfect whore. He'd given him a place to stay and a job, such as it was, and took care of him after a fashion. No one was allowed to hurt Nicky, not seriously. Except for Mark. In a warped sort of way, he actually did more for Nicky than his own parents. 182
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Nicky told himself that he'd only turn tricks for a little while, until he found something better. He never did. Though it wasn't an easy life, Nicky knew he was good at it, and it could have been worse. He'd been told he was worthless his whole life, but now he could prove them wrong. He was worth something. Fifty for a blowjob, a hundred for a fuck. More if he thought the market would bear it. Two years later he was still at it. Then he met Gabriel. Though he knew he could never have happiness, he at least knew he had a chance for a normal life now. He was going to give it his best shot. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Twenty It wasn't easy. A hundred times a day Nicky was tempted to just go pick up some guy somewhere to get some quick cash. Every time, though, he closed his eyes and summoned up a vision of Gabriel's face, and it helped him get through. His first task was leaving his apartment. He had a feeling Anthony had been the one to rat him out to Mark, and if he wanted a fresh start he should get away from the criminal element anyway. He snuck into the student center of the university and checked the bulletin boards for people seeking roommates. He rented a small van and packed up all his worldly possessions in just a few hours, and life began anew. The money he'd accumulated helped him get started, but he knew he would need a job right away. When he needed to be, he could be painstakingly frugal. He filled out applications everywhere, but minimum wage wasn't going to get him very far, so he took two jobs—one in a coffee shop, and one in a nightclub, cleaning up after closing. It was far from glamorous, but it paid the bills. He knew it was only temporary. He would find something better eventually. He just had to get used to a new way of doing things. A month passed as if it was only a few days, and when he got home from making mocha lattes and pomegranate frappucinos, his roommate told him the police had come by to see him. He pretended innocence and called the number on the card they had left right away. He went to the station voluntarily, and gave his statement. He told them that he'd 184
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gone to see Mark on the night in question at nine PM, that they'd argued, that Mark had beaten him and then taken him to the hospital. His story was that they'd been together for several hours uninterrupted. The next morning he got a telephone call from Mark's lawyer's office. Mark had been arraigned and released on bail, and was now constructing his defense. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Twenty-One Gabriel was glad for the new case. It proved to be a big one, if not as glamorous as usual. His firm was big and prestigious, but also not above taking on a less than virtuous defendant if he had the money. He read the briefs prepared for him by one of the assistants. A pimp accused of first degree murder, in a drug deal gone wrong. Something like this could carry the death penalty, or life without hope of parole. The fact that he was a pimp was a lesser issue. He wasn't being charged with that, but apparently the defendant had an airtight alibi in the form of one of his prostitutes, who said the pimp had been with them the whole time. A less than compelling alibi, if it wasn't for the hospital records corroborating the story. Apparently the pimp had beaten the shit out of the prostitute. Why would the prostitute lie to cover someone who was beating them? The case seemed interesting at the very least, something to take his mind off his troubles. It was a little too close to home, but then Gabriel had stopped thinking of Nicky as a prostitute a long time ago. He set up depositions with various witnesses, including the alibi. A junior partner would handle those while he met with the defendant. Once he'd read the depositions, he'd decide on a strategy. The time came to meet with the defendant. He was out on bail; he clearly had plenty of money. Gabriel tried not to judge, that wasn't his job. Also, he couldn't exactly be 186
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virtuous about it, considering what he'd been up to lately. The irony wasn't lost on him, and he didn't complain about the case at all. He rose as a tall, wiry man was led into his office. "Hello, Mr. Jones, please have a seat," he said, smiling as he shook the man's hand. The man smiled and sat after releasing Gabriel's hand. "Please. Call me Mark." Gabriel sat as well. "All right, Mark. Now, I'm not here to decide whether you are guilty or innocent. That's for the court to decide. I just need to know everything you can possibly tell me, so that I can successfully defend you. Everything you tell me from now on is protected by client-lawyer privilege, so feel free to speak freely." He was studying the man closely. Mark radiated self-confidence. He'd be great on the stand. Mark laughed. "I'm innocent, of course," he said, examining his nails. Gabriel nodded. "And you seem to have an airtight alibi from one of your, well, employees," he replied, looking at the paper in front of him. "One who would stand to gain nothing from lying for you, it seems. That should go over well." Mark nodded. "So it should be a piece of cake for someone as good as you, Gabriel," he said ingratiatingly. He leaned forward. "I asked for you specifically, you know. After that last case. You're the best. I know you can do it." Gabriel smiled, irritated by Mark already. There was just something about this man he didn't like, and it wasn't his line of work. "I'll do my best, sir." 187
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Gabriel asked Mark questions, and the man answered readily, already sounding polished. Gabriel could tell he was being less than truthful, but he had a feeling about these things, and he knew Mark would be convincing on the stand. But he couldn't shake a slimy feeling just from dealing with Mark. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Twenty-Two Gabriel sat behind his desk all day, reading depositions and working on case strategy. He was feeling confident about the case now, so he decided he could afford to take a little break. Instead of drinking the bad office coffee or going to the coffee shop near the courthouse, he decided to walk to a cafe down the road. The weather was gorgeous and he needed the fresh air. He walked in the door and studied the menu for a moment, looking up. The barista was facing away from the register, dutifully refilling one of the machines that brewed regular coffee all day long. He turned back around and stood stock still, staring at the man examining the menu. "May I take your order?" he asked hoarsely. Gabriel barely stifled a gasp as he saw the young man behind the counter. Nicky. He was dressed in the green and black uniform, hair tied neatly back, with no makeup, but there was no doubt that this was the man he'd been dreaming about for months now, and who he'd taken multiple times. The man he loved. He glanced around, no one was nearby. "Nicky?" he whispered. "Oh my God, how are you?" Nicky smiled weakly. "Hi, Gabriel," he said softly. "I'm doing well, thanks. You?" Gabriel could barely think. "I tried to call you. I left you messages." He stepped closer. It was bittersweet to see Nicky, odd in this environment, too. On the one hand, he was 189
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incredibly glad that Nicky was all right. But the younger man clearly wanted nothing to do with him. "I know," Nicky said. "We've been over this before." He worried his full bottom lip between his teeth. "Can you order something? I don't want to get in trouble." Gabriel felt as if he'd been stabbed in the heart. He loved Nicky, but Nicky didn't feel the same. "A grande vanilla latte, please," he stammered, pulling out his wallet. "I'm sorry," he whispered. He couldn't even look at him. It hurt too much. Nicky rang him up while someone else started making Gabriel's drink. "You don't have to apologize. I'm just trying to, you know, change. For the better. And I want you to be happy, Gabriel." Gabriel nodded sadly. "I'm happy about that," he said, wondering if that meant Nicky had really given up prostitution. At least he would be out of danger. "But I'll never be happy without you," he said, barely above a whisper as he got his change and moved away to wait for his drink. He didn't care about the coffee any more, or anything else. Nicky said a few quiet words to one of his co-workers, and slipped into the back. A moment later he emerged from a door near the restrooms and stepped close to Gabriel, lowering his voice. "Wanna talk?" Gabriel had just been adding some cinnamon to his coffee in preparation to leave when he looked up in shock. "Sure," he said, certain Nicky hadn't wanted to talk to him at all. They went out onto the patio where there was more privacy.
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Nicky stuffed his hands down in his pockets. "I only have a few minutes," he said, taking a seat at one of the outdoor tables. It was almost worse than not seeing him ever again. Nicky looked heartbreakingly beautiful, and so very young this way. Gabriel loved him all the more. He looked across the table at him and said, "I'm glad you're okay. I didn't want to bother you. I just wanted to know you were all right." Nicky's expression turned serious. "Gabriel, you need to forget about me. If anyone found out ... I know I blackmailed you and everything, but I wouldn't have done anything. You should have learned from that that it would be easy for someone to fuck you over," he said earnestly. Gabriel shook his head, smiling sadly. "Forget about you? Not possible. Even if I wanted to, which I don't. I'll never do anything like that again, though. Don't worry." He looked at Nicky, drinking him in. "And I don't much care any more. Things are so empty. I'm thinking of breaking up with Renee. I can't marry someone I don't love." He didn't know why he was telling Nicky this. The younger man wouldn't care. Nicky blinked. "What? Why? But I thought ... you're not doing it because of me, are you?" he asked. "Because she deserves someone who loves her. I can't," he admitted. He wanted to tell Nicky how much he loved him, but he couldn't. He would just seem even more pathetic, and the last thing he wanted was for Nicky to feel sorry for him. It was partly because of Nicky, but he didn't want the younger man to feel he was to blame. 191
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"Oh," he said softly. "Well, I guess that's a good thing, then. You shouldn't be with someone you don't love, I guess." He raked his fingers through the wisps of bangs falling over his forehead. "Maybe. Never mind." Gabriel couldn't stop gazing at Nicky. "Maybe what?" he asked softly, entranced, remembering every moment they'd spent together. It was all he could do to keep his hands off Nicky right now. Nicky seemed about to say something, then stopped. He shook his head. "Nothing. It's not important. I gotta get back to work," he said, rising to his feet. Gabriel stood as well, reluctant to let Nicky go, but knowing he had to. "Nicky, I," He took a deep breath. "I wanted to let you know. I won't bother you again. I won't come here. I won't try to call. I..." He trailed off, wanting to tell Nicky he was in love with him but not wanting to see the pity in those beautiful pale eyes. Nicky pouted. "Well, I'm sure you didn't think you'd randomly run into me here," he said. "Anyway, it's probably for the best, anyway." He smiled sadly. "It was good to see you, though." Gabriel's heart was breaking. Nicky didn't want to see him. "Okay," he replied, keeping his hands at his side with effort. "Take care of yourself. If you ever need anything..." Nicky darted forward awkwardly and gave Gabriel a quick peck on the cheek before disappearing back inside the building. Gabriel stood still for a long moment, imagining he could still feel Nicky's touch. Finally he picked up his coffee and 192
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walked slowly back to the courthouse, reliving every moment he'd had with Nicky. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Twenty-Three For the rest of his shift, Nicky rang people up and filled orders like a robot, his mind completely consumed with Gabriel. He had wanted so badly to suggest getting together after he had mentioned splitting with his fiancée. But Gabriel was there by chance. He hadn't sought Nicky out. It was just a coincidence. Fate twisting the knife in his heart. When he got back to his little apartment, his roommate was home for a change. Todd usually went straight to his band practice after classes were over for the day, so he rarely saw him. The slender young man with shoulder-length auburn hair was in the tiny kitchen, waiting in front of the microwave oven. "Hi," Nicky said. "No practice today?" Todd shrugged. "Chase was hung over again. He bailed, the big jerk." He looked more closely at Nicky. "You okay, dude? You look kinda pale. Well, more than usual anyway," he smirked. Nicky shrugged. He wasn't sure he really wanted to get into it. "This guy that I'm kinda in love with came to the coffee shop today. He didn't know I worked there, but..." Todd smiled tentatively. "Well, that's a good thing, right? Does he know how you feel about him?" The microwave beeped and he turned to pull a small pizza out of it. Nicky shook his head. "No. He's kind of got this career that would ... well, I don't want to fuck up his life, so I told him not to call me anymore," he said quietly. 194
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Todd frowned. "Does he even know how you feel?" He flashed a smile. "I guess I'm kind of a romantic at heart. Maybe you were meant to meet again." Nicky smirked. "I'm kind of a cynic, so, no, he doesn't know, and if we were meant to meet it was only to torture me for past misdeeds." Todd laughed. "Come on, man. How many misdeeds could you have? You're like nineteen, right?" "Yeah. Nineteen. Quite a lot, actually. I've kinda had a really fucked up life so far. But anyway, I probably have a major karmic debt to pay." He sighed. He didn't really want to tell his roommate everything he'd done. He'd sugarcoated things elaborately to get into the apartment in the first place. "I ran away from home when I was seventeen and it's been kind of a struggle. Things are better now. But I still think he's better off without me." Todd listened sympathetically. "Hey man, I'm not trying to pry or anything, you don't have to tell me. Did he try to call you before? Try to find you?" Nicky nodded. "Yeah. Eventually he gave up, though. I kept letting it go to voicemail." He wrapped his arms around himself, leaning his shoulder in the doorway. "He's the only person that ever treated me like ... like I was worth something. You know?" "Let me get this straight. He treated you better than anyone. He tried to get in touch with you on several occasions. You think you're in love with him. But you don't want to see him again? I don't get it." 195
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Nicky felt like he'd talked himself into a corner. He should have known better than to discuss his personal life with anyone. "I don't deserve him," he said, voice gone rough. Todd shook his head. "Look, man, I don't know you all that well. But you seem like a sweet guy. I think this guy is in love with you, too. He wants to see you. You should give it a try." "Thanks, but you've kind of only seen me at my best." Nicky shoved his hands down in his pockets. "Maybe, eventually. When I can convince myself that I can live like this and not go back to the stupid shit I did before." "Whatever you need, man. Just let me know." Todd patted Nicky on the back. Nicky smiled then. "Thanks, Todd. That means a lot." He hated that he had to be so suspicious of everyone, but he'd gotten used to being that way. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Twenty-Four Gabriel knew he had to do it. Not that he held out any hope of ever being with Nicky, he couldn't live a lie any longer. Every time Renee touched him, he shuddered. He could only think of Nicky. He had to break it off. He was swamped with work preparing for the trial, but if he got this over with it would be one less thing on his mind. He asked Renee to come over, because breaking up in public was a bad idea. Renee arrived, knocking on Gabriel's door with a calm smile. She smoothed out invisible wrinkles in her dark blue skirt with jittery hands. "Gabriel?" she called through the door. Gabriel swallowed hard before he opened the door. "Hi," he said softly, stepping back to admit her. "You look great." She did. But she wasn't who he wanted. He might not ever have who he wanted, but he had to do the right thing. She smiled brilliantly at him. "Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself." She stepped forward and gave him a quick kiss. "I was so excited that you called me to come over! You've been so busy lately, I was feeling like an Army wife!" Gabriel closed the door behind her. He supposed he should get right to the point. "Come sit down, Renee. We need to talk." He was nervous about this, but he knew he would feel so much better once it was done. She deserved someone who loved her. 197
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"Of course, honey. Is everything okay?" she asked. She sat next to him on the couch and put her hand lightly on his thigh in a somewhat proprietary gesture. Gabriel looked down. "It's just ... well, Renee. Sometimes ... things change. People change." He looked into her eyes. He didn't know how to do this. Her slightly concerned expression turned into a frown. "Gabriel, are you drunk? What are you rambling on about?" "I'm not drunk," Gabriel replied, annoyed. "I'm trying to say I don't think we should get married." He hadn't meant to come out and say it that way, but now it was too late. Renee gasped, putting her hands over her mouth. "What? Did you ... you didn't say ... why?" she said, clearly stunned. Gabriel's heart twisted. "I'm sorry, Renee. It's not you. It's me. I can't ... you deserve better." It sounded pathetic and he knew it. "Gabriel. What happened? Did some little slut at your office convince you to do this? Half the wedding plans are already in the works! You can't just suddenly decide to back out!" She was starting to get hysterical. Gabriel felt horrible. "No one convinced me of anything," he said sadly. "But its better to stop now, then get divorced later," he offered lamely. "You can't do this to me! We had plans! You made a commitment to me!" Her fingers curled into fists on her lap. "Gabriel," she said, seeming to become calmer for a moment. "I know that your work is important to you. That's why I'm perfect for you. I won't interfere. You know I don't complain about your long hours. And when you're ready to take things 198
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a little easier, you know my father will be able to find you a nice job. You could even run for office yourself. And I know everything you need to know about campaigning." Gabriel reached out and put his hand on hers, gently. "Marriage shouldn't be a convenience, Renee. You deserve someone who loves you with all his heart and soul. I just can't be that person." The look on her face was heartwrenching, but he had to do this. Once he'd gotten through it, it would be better for both of them. Renee's lips thinned to a hard line. "You love me!" she cried. "Gabriel ... you don't know what you're saying! You're stressed out. I get it. I promise you don't have to be involved in any of the planning." She put her hand on his shoulder. "You don't mean this." Gabriel felt a brief flash of temper. Renee had always been a little domineering, but he wasn't going to marry her just because it was easier. He called up an image of Nicky, and replied, "I do mean it. Really. I love you. But I'm not in love with you. It's got nothing to do with the planning." Fat tears started to run down her face, smearing her mascara. "But why? Why all of a sudden? Did I do something? Was I not supportive enough?" she sobbed. Gabriel was determined to be patient. This wasn't her fault. It was his. "No. It's me. All me. I rushed into something I wasn't ready for. That's all. I'm so sorry, Renee." he really was. She didn't deserve this. But neither did he deserve to spend his life with someone he didn't love. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed loudly for several minutes. Finally, taking in a hiccuping breath, she 199
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looked up at him. "My father will never forgive you," she said spitefully. She stood up and straightened her skirt. "Good bye, Gabriel. I hope you find what you're looking for, though I highly doubt it." And with that, she marched toward the door, letting herself out. Gabriel just stared at the door, the slam echoing through the room. He leaned forward, head in his hands. It was done. He felt a sense of relief, but mostly sorrow. He'd hurt her, but not as much as he would have if she'd found out about him. Or if they'd gotten married, and he'd been miserable, and undoubtedly unable to perform. He sat there for what seemed like hours, then got up. He felt a little like a zombie, and all he could see was Nicky's face. He knew it would get better eventually, but he didn't know how. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Twenty-Five It was the night before the trial and Gabriel had been working fifteen-hour days to prepare. Now everything that needed to be done was done, and Gabriel had let Julian drag him out to a bar to have drinks and dinner. Gabriel was glad to talk with Julian. He was the only one who knew everything, and he didn't have to hide. It had been a long few weeks. Julian ordered a Sam Adams and loosened his tie. "There's one condition to this outing. No shop talk, got it?" he said, grinning. Gabriel sighed. "I'll be pretty silent then," he said, only partly joking. "Just don't let me drink any Jager, okay?" Julian shook his head. "No, man, no shots tonight. We're just gonna relax. Besides, we wanna be fresh for court tomorrow." He took a sip of his beer and sat back. "So, when was the last time you had a social life?" Gabriel snorted. "Social life? What's that?" He looked down. "I guess I ought to tell you I broke up with Renee." Julian didn't look particularly surprised. "That was probably a good idea given all that you've told me. Was it a bloodbath?" he asked. Gabriel sighed. "What do you think? I'm not sure she even accepted it. The look on her face." He shook his head, haunted still. "Her father took it better than she did, in fact. Called me up and told me I was doing the right thing, breaking it off before the wedding." He chuckled. "I'm not sure he was thrilled about this case, that might have been 201
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part of it." He downed half his beer. "But yeah. It was rough. I felt like I was kicking a puppy." He looked up at Julian. "But I had to do it, man. It wasn't fair to her." Julian patted him on the back. "Yeah. You did the right thing, man. So what about the guy? Did you tell him yet?" he asked. Shaking his head, Gabriel looked down. "No. He doesn't want to see me again. He made that very clear." He ordered another beer. "I saw him. He said he was trying to make a better life. He quit. And he doesn't want me." "Did he say that? He said he didn't want you anymore?" he asked. "He didn't return my calls," Gabriel replied. "That makes a pretty definite statement." "You're jumping to conclusions there, Gabriel. How do you know he's not just trying to protect you?" Julian asked. Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "You'd think he would have been more anxious to see me, then, wouldn't you?" He asked. Julian shrugged. "When was the last time you saw him?" "At Starbucks. He works there." Gabriel could still remember the shock on Nicky's face when he saw him. And how good he looked. "Tell me what happened. Did you find out he worked there and go to see him?" "No. It was totally by chance. He didn't want to see me, or he would have returned my calls." Gabriel felt more pathetic than ever. "And what did he do when he saw you?" Julian asked, tipping back his bottle to finish it off. 202
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"Looked like he wanted to run away screaming," Gabriel replied. "We talked for a few minutes. God, it hurt so much to see him and not be able to touch him." "You talked at the counter? Couldn't have been a very private conversation." "He took a break, and we sat outside," Gabriel explained. "I told him I was going to break up with Renee. To tell you the truth, I hadn't decided for sure until then. Until I saw him." He sighed. "He didn't come near me. Except to give me a kiss on the cheek." "He kissed you on the cheek? And you still don't think he likes you? Just a little?" "It was just a peck," Gabriel said wistfully. He wished it was more. So much. And he couldn't stop thinking about him. "Hello. You were at his job. His crappy little minimum wage job. He took a big risk even doing that much, dork." Gabriel stared back at Julian. He wanted so badly to believe. "So, you have all the answers, do you? What do I do about it, then? How do I get him to see me? To convince him that he doesn't need to protect me?" Julian smirked. "Have ya tried asking him out on a date?" he asked, voice laced liberally with sarcasm. Gabriel narrowed his eyes. "No, smartass. I felt pathetic enough already." Julian shrugged again. "Okay, man. Don't bother then. It's your life." "Fuck you," Gabriel said without much rancor. "You're supposed to be helping me, not giving me shit." He knew 203
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Julian was right, though. He would just get through this trial. Then he would find Nicky again. Julian laughed while he signaled the bartender for another. "That's what I'm doin', man." Gabriel sighed. "I've really fucked up, haven't I?" If Nicky didn't want him back, he was sure he'd never love anyone ever again. "Don't worry. Guys in love do it all the time," he said with a smirk. "Dude, he kissed you on the cheek in front of all his brand new co-workers. It's not over until the fat lady sings." Gabriel couldn't help but smile. "You make it sound so easy." "All you can do is try, Gabriel. You should see the change in your damn expression when you talk about him. If you don't do something about it, I'm gonna have to kick your ass." Gabriel rolled his eyes. "As if. I'd kick your ass, fool." He felt a little more cheerful about things now, though. It helped to talk about it. Julian snorted. "Whatever. You're lucky we both have too much class to find out." He winked at him and clinked his bottle against Gabriel's. Gabriel laughed. "Or you're too scared," he teased. "You don't wanna get your ass kicked by a guy who likes guys." Julian put on a highly offended look. "Are you implying that I'm homophobic?" He rolled his eyes. "C'mon, let's get out of here. It's a school night." He took a deep drink of his beer and stuffed his hand in his pocket to pay the tab. 204
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Gabriel bid Julian goodbye, and went home to his empty apartment to prepare for the trial the next day. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Twenty-Six Gabriel stood before the jury, delivering his opening statement. The prosecutor had given his, and it had been powerful, but Gabriel wasn't worried. He was in his element now. He had been very happy with the jury selection, and he had no doubts he could win this case. It was nice to have confidence again. His work was all he had left. He pushed that out of his mind. The jury watched his every move. This was a performance, he knew it, and a man's fate hung in the balance. Whether the defendant was guilty or innocent, Gabriel believed in his right to a fair trial. He didn't hide the fact that Mark was not a nice man. They had decided to be upfront about his business, since his alibi was his admitted prostitute. He'd never met the witness, who'd been coached by one of the junior lawyers. Gabriel preferred to cross examine afresh. It seemed more real to him that way. In a country addicted to reality television, people could spot a rehearsed performance a mile away. Mark came out first to speak in his own defense. The man was slick and charming and not at all intimidated by the prosecution. Gabriel watched with approval and objected liberally, and he could tell the jury ate it up. Mark was handsome and played himself off as a folk hero, merely providing a service that the public wanted, protecting his girls and boys, watching over all of them. When it came time to cross examine, Gabriel kept it simple, prepping the jury for the upcoming star witness, the 206
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alibi. There weren't many witnesses of credibility, and the case was not open and shut by any means. Finally, it was time for the closer. He called the alibi witness, and turned to glance at his notes. **** Nicky did not hear Mark's testimony. He was outside the courtroom with the young lawyer who had interviewed and coached him. He gave her a wan smile as they waited. Finally, the guard opened the door and they were ushered inside. Nicky glanced around, his gaze falling on Mark. He gave him a terse nod, then paused and gasped as he looked at the lawyer. Gabriel's back was to him and he was sorting through some notes on the desk. Nicky resumed his trip up the long aisle. He was escorted to the witness stand and was sworn in. He raised his eyes to Gabriel again as the other man approached. **** For a long moment, Gabriel was stunned. He stared at Nicky, then glanced down at his notes. He had only known Nicky's first name, and now he noticed it was actually the man's middle name. He had been too absorbed in preparation and his own misery to notice. It all fell into place now, and the coincidence and irony was nearly too much. He glanced at Mark, who looked smug as ever, unconcerned, and tried hard to get his mind back on track. The courtroom was silent as he 207
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walked close to the stand. He finally looked into the eyes of the man he loved. "Please state your name for the court," he said, his voice strained. He had to get himself together if he was going to pull this off. Nicky swallowed hard and raised his chin, speaking clearly into the microphone. "Jonathan Nicholas Edwards," he said. Gabriel's heart was breaking all over again, and it was almost too much to process. But he had his notes, and his plan, and it was all that was keeping him from falling apart. "Mr. Edwards, where were you on the night of June ninth at nine PM?" he asked, his voice evening out. Nicky glanced at Mark, then back at Gabriel. He stared at him for a long moment. "I was in Mark's office," he said softly. Gabriel could get lost in those eyes. Why was Nicky looking at him that way? Well, clearly the other man was as shocked as he was. "Was the defendant present at that time?" he asked, trying to convey his feelings through just a look. "Yes. I was there at his request," he said. Nicky nibbled on his bottom lip for a moment. Gabriel was sure this was the hardest thing he'd ever done. All he wanted to do was pull Nicky into his arms and kiss him for hours. "How can you be so sure of the time?" That made Nicky smirk. "He told me to be there at nine, and he's not exactly the sort of guy you keep waiting. Also, there's a wall clock in his office, right behind his desk."
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Gabriel swallowed. Now that he knew who the witness was, this was going to be even harder. "Why did the defendant want to see you?" He asked. "He was angry at me because I wanted to quit." Nicky licked his lips. "I believe he intended to convince me not to." Gabriel buried his surprise. So Nicky had been considering it even then. "When you say you wanted to quit, you mean quit the business of prostitution?" He asked a little shakily. Nicky nodded. "Yes. I didn't want to be a prostitute any longer." Gabriel could scarcely keep his mind on his line of questioning. It seemed the whole world had gone away, and only the two of them were left. "Why did you want to quit?" he asked softly, more for his own benefit than anything else. "Objection!" called the prosecution. "Relevance." Gabriel's head snapped up, reminding him of where he was. He looked at the judge. "Your honor, I want to show motivation." The judge nodded. "Overruled. You may continue." She looked at Nicky. "You may answer the question, young man." Nicky looked from the judge to Gabriel. Very slowly and deliberately he said, "I fell in love with someone, and I wanted to be a better person for him." There was the expected nervous laughter from the audience when it was revealed that the pretty boy on the stand was in love with another man. But Gabriel ignored it, his heart beating fast. The way Nicky was looking at him, the words he was saying, he had to mean him. "And what happened when you got there?" he asked gently. 209
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"We argued for a moment, and then he started beating me," he said with no trace of discomfort. Gabriel had been expecting that, of course, but now to know that Mark had hurt the man he loved. It was all he could do to not turn around and beat the shit out of his own defendant. He leaned on the witness box, gripping the polished wood tightly. "Did you know he was going to do that?" he asked, reverting to the script. Nicky lowered his eyes for a moment. "Yes," he said quietly. There was a murmur from the audience and Gabriel felt even worse. "Why did you go to a meeting you knew would result in an assault?" Nicky raised his eyes to Gabriel's face again. "I suspected that he knew something about the person I'm in love with and would threaten him." Gabriel's blood ran cold. Again, he resisted the urge to look at Mark. Nicky had sacrificed himself for him. He didn't know if he could do this. This was shaping up to be a definite conflict of interest. He forced himself to continue. "And how long did the beating last?" Nicky hesitated. He looked at Mark for a long moment, then squared his shoulders, raised his chin and spoke in a clear steady voice. "Ten minutes. His cell phone rang, and he left. He told me to stay where I was, but I couldn't have moved, anyway," he said defiantly. The crowd gasped, and it took Gabriel a moment to realize what Nicky had said. He was refuting the alibi. Changing his 210
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story. He'd just ascertained that Mark would be found guilty. This was bad. Almost immediately, there was a yell from behind him. Gabriel tore his gaze from Nicky and spun around to look at the defendant. Mark was standing up at the table behind him, trying to get to Nicky, and bailiffs had rushed forward to restrain him. "He's a lying little whore!" Mark shouted. "Order in the court!" the judge said sharply, banging her gavel. "Quiet, Mr. Jones, or I'll hold you in contempt." Mark subsided, letting the bailiffs guide him back to his seat, glaring daggers at Nicky. Gabriel ignored the disruption. He waited until the courtroom was quiet, and the judge had told him to proceed. He looked Nicky in the eye and said, "Could you repeat that?" He hoped his voice didn't betray his disquiet. "He was there from nine to nine-ten, at which point his cell phone rang. He told me to stay, and then he left. I remember looking at the clock and thinking it had felt like a lot longer than ten minutes," he said coolly, not looking at Mark. Mark was now being restrained by three bailiffs. Gabriel had had witnesses throw him curves before, but never like this. He had to ignore Mark's ranting in the background, though all he wanted was to kill him. He approached the bench and said, "Your honor, I think we need a recess." The judge pursed her lips. "Very well, Mr. White. I'm assuming you were expecting a different answer?" 211
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"Yes, your honor. If we could just have a short recess in your chambers." "There will be a fifteen minute recess," she said, banging the gavel. She stood and stepped down, not waiting for the lawyers to follow. Gabriel and the prosecutor followed, and when they were in the privacy of the judge's chambers, he said, "I apologize, your honor. He changed his story." The prosecutor snorted. "We gathered that, Mr. White. Maybe your client isn't so innocent after all, hm?" he sneered. "Gentlemen, please," the judge interjected. "Now, is there anything else you'd like to say, Mr. White?" she asked, arching an eyebrow. Gabriel glared at the prosecutor, then turned back to the judge. "I am going to have to be replaced on this case, your honor. I have a conflict of interest." "Although I have my suspicions, perhaps you could be more specific, Mr. White," she said, not unkindly. "Your honor, this is just a stall tactic for the defense to come up with a new case," the prosecutor protested. Gabriel focused on the judge. "I would rather not be specific, your honor. It's quite personal." "This is ridiculous. He knows he's going to lose, so now he wants off the case so he won't ruin his reputation," the other attorney huffed. The judge looked squarely at Gabriel. "Mr. White, if you wish to be excused from this case, I must have a reason," she said evenly. 212
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Gabriel replied, "I need to be sure that this is in confidence," he said, looking sincerely into the judge's eyes, willing her to understand. The judge turned to the prosecutor. "Please excuse us. I will inform you of my ruling after I've spoken to Mr. White privately." With a little grumbling, the prosecutor slipped out the door, closing it behind him. The judge turned to Gabriel again. "All right. Strictest confidence, Mr. White. What is your conflict of interest?" Gabriel looked down. This was hard to do, but he had to say it. "I assure you, I didn't know this beforehand. I had not met with the witness before the trial. But, I am acquainted with Mr. Edwards. Closely." She smirked. "Are you the person he was protecting?" she asked. Gabriel sighed. "I believe so, yes." "All right, Mr. White. I'm going to call a one week recess. Do you think that'll be enough time for someone else in your firm to get up to speed on Mr. Jones's case?" she asked, all business. Gabriel breathed a sigh of relief that he didn't have to go into too much detail. "Yes, ma'am," he said gratefully. "One week will be fine." The judge rose. "I trust this won't happen again, Mr. White?" she said, straightening her robes. Gabriel blushed. "It's not something I make a habit of, your honor." 213
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She laughed at that and waited for him to open the door for her. They returned to the courtroom and the bailiff told everyone to stand as the judge resumed her seat. Nicky waited near the back of the courtroom, arms hugged around his slender body. The judge announced the one week recess and instructed the officers to take Mark into custody, revoking his bail. Gabriel didn't get any time alone with Mark, luckily. He wanted to hurt him. Most of all, though, he wanted to see Nicky. When the court was dismissed, people started filing out. Nicky waited at the back of the room, in his seat, watching Gabriel. Gabriel waited as long as he could, but he couldn't stay away. He had to talk to Nicky, make sure he was okay. He packed his briefcase and walked back toward Nicky. His heart was pounding. Nicky stood slowly as Gabriel approached. He bit his bottom lip. "Did I screw things up for you?" he asked quietly. Gabriel gazed back at Nicky, drinking him in. "No. Just for Mark. I've excused myself from the case." He looked around. No one was paying attention. Nicky nodded. "I didn't know it was you," he said, rubbing his hand up and down the opposite arm. "I hope this won't be bad for your career. Did you have to tell the judge about us?" he asked. "Yes," Gabriel answered evenly. "But it was under confidence. She won't tell anyone. As for my career," he shrugged, "the witness changed the story, and the defendant 214
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was lying. I won't get any shit for bowing out." Gabriel gazed into Nicky's eyes. "I want to kill him for hurting you," he whispered urgently. "I hope he gets put away forever." Nicky smirked. "So do I." He glanced around. A few people still lingered in the courtroom. "Can we go somewhere and talk? I know just the place," he said quietly. "Come with me?" Gabriel wanted to whimper. He absolutely shouldn't do this. It hurt too badly to see Nicky and not be able to touch him. Even now, looking at him, he couldn't stop thinking of the times they'd been together. Gabriel knew he'd never love anyone like he loved Nicky. He'd never get over him completely. "I don't know if that's a good idea." Nicky gazed into Gabriel's eyes, taking a half step closer. "Please?" he said softly. Gabriel was lost and he knew it. He ached for Nicky and would do anything he asked. "Just for a few minutes," he answered, staring for a moment at Nicky's sinful mouth. "Where?" Nicky's lips twitched. "Follow me." Then he turned and slipped out of the courtroom and proceeded down the corridor. He glanced over his shoulder once, then turned a corner, walking down a more deserted hallway. Gabriel followed, trying not to look surreptitious. He couldn't help but watch Nicky's ass as he walked. He was so in love. **** Nicky's heart was pounding as he pushed open the door of the single stall handicapped bathroom he'd found while he 215
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was prowling around the courthouse earlier. He looked to make sure Gabriel saw where he'd gone, then waited just inside the door. He ached for him so badly, and he prayed silently that Gabriel still wanted him. Gabriel followed. He slipped inside, eyes wide as he closed the door and locked it. "Nicky," he said softly. "What did you want to talk about?" Nicky stepped close to Gabriel and ran his hands lightly up his chest. "You know I was talking about you, right?" "I hoped so," Gabriel said, not touching Nicky yet, clearly very torn. "Oh, baby, why did you do that? Let him hurt you to protect me? I'm not worth it." "You are," he answered. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." He slid his arms around Gabriel's neck, leaning up against him. He buried his face in the crook of Gabriel's neck. He drew in a deep breath, letting his nostrils fill with the warm familiar scent of him. "Oh, God," Gabriel said in a strangled moan. "I love you, Nicky. I haven't been able to stop thinking of you. I broke up with Renee," he added, the words coming out all in a rush. His hands finally came up to hold Nicky close. Nicky felt warm and he whimpered, relieved beyond what he thought possible. He drew a shaky breath and held Gabriel's face between his hands, kissing him firmly but undemandingly. After everything that they'd been through, he didn't want to push too hard. Gabriel kissed back eagerly, as if he would die without it, and pulled Nicky close. His hands wandered up and down the other man's back, pressing their bodies together intimately. 216
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Nicky suppressed a moan. The last thing he wanted was for them to get caught and to create a scandal for Gabriel. He kissed back just as desperately, though, sucking on his tongue. He pulled back, panting hard, after a few minutes. "Oh God, please, Gabriel. Need you." Gabriel groaned, rocking against Nicky involuntarily. "God, baby, need you, too. I thought about you so much." His hands touched Nicky everywhere, and he was hard as a rock now. "Missed you." Nicky gazed into Gabriel's eyes. "I've got condoms with me," he informed him, licking his lips nervously. "Please?" He felt a little dizzy, and he leaned back just enough to pull off his suit jacket. Gabriel's eyes went wide, and he let out a whimper. "Here?" he gasped. "In the courthouse bathroom?" But his arousal didn't waver, only got more intense. Nicky leaned in again, suckling at Gabriel's neck as his hands explored his body liberally. "Please," he breathed, stroking his knuckles up and down the hard line in Gabriel's suit trousers. "Please, Gabriel. I need your cock, baby." "Fuck," moaned Gabriel. His hands found Nicky's ass and he squeezed, then gave in. "Gonna take you, need you so bad. Get your pants off before I rip them off you." Nicky smiled, panting softly. He kicked off his shoes, then opened his pants quickly. He pulled a pre-lubed condom out of his pocket before letting them drop to the floor, his shirt tails still concealing most of him. "I missed you so much, Gabriel," he said softly. 217
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Gabriel just gazed at Nicky for a moment before pulling him into a searing kiss. He released him finally, and took the condom from his hand. "Turn around, baby," he growled, opening his pants. Nicky turned and tugged his button-down shirt off over his head. He wanted Gabriel so badly he couldn't think. "Oh, God. Love you. Fuck me, please," he whimpered, resting his head against the wall. Gabriel groaned, staring for a moment at Nicky's gorgeous body as he pulled his cock out and slid the condom on. "Can't wait, baby, you're all mine," he breathed. Nicky gripped the wall and sobbed. "Yours, Gabriel. Loveyousomuchpleeease," he gasped, squeezing his eyes shut. Gabriel positioned himself and thrust upward as gently as he could. "Oh God, my Nicky, love you," he growled as he slid inside. Nicky arched his back. It was every bit as beautiful as he remembered it, and it had been such a long time. He tipped his head back, letting it rest on Gabriel's shoulder. "No one fills me like you do, Gabriel," he moaned. Gabriel wrapped his arms around Nicky from behind as he thrust deep inside. "No one else is gonna fill you again, baby, you're all mine," he groaned, thrusting harder. It was better than Nicky could have hoped for. Gabriel still wanted him, and he wanted him all to himself. Nicky wanted that. He didn't want anyone else. Gabriel's arms around him felt like heaven. He bit his lip to stop from crying out. "Ohh, I, fuck..." he whimpered, already starting to tremble. 218
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Gabriel thrust harder, deep and fast and frantic. "Need you, baby, all night, every night, love you," he gasped. "Come for me, so close." Nicky shuddered violently and came hard, pulsing against the wall as he gasped. "Yours ... all yours," he sobbed. Gabriel's arms tightened around Nicky as he came, too, pulsing inside him. Nicky slumped back against him, completely supported by Gabriel's solid embrace. "Wow," he said softly. "How was that for talking? I can't remember a more fulfilling conversation, can you?" he asked, smiling goofily. Gabriel chuckled. "You're irresistible." He still held Nicky tightly. "Come home with me? Want to hold you all night." Nicky nodded. "Yes. Please." He turned in Gabriel's arms and looked into his eyes. "I'll just get dressed," he said, grinning. Nicky got his clothes back on and he waited while Gabriel slipped out of the bathroom, then he left a few minutes later to meet him in the parking garage. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Twenty-Seven The entire drive home, Gabriel kept stealing glances over at Nicky. He couldn't believe he was really here with him at last. The drive seemed to last forever, and he kept telling Nicky how much he loved him and missed him. He kept his hands to himself by force of will. They stopped to get some takeout on the way home, because Gabriel knew he wouldn't want to leave the apartment again, not when he got Nicky alone. Nicky went along with every suggestion Gabriel made, until finally they closed the door of Gabriel's apartment. "Thank you for bringing me back here. I know, even if you won't admit it, I know my changing my story caused you problems. But it was the only way I could be sure he'd get put away," he said quietly. Gabriel pulled Nicky into his arms gratefully. "It will be all right," he promised. "You did the right thing." He was just so grateful to have Nicky back he could barely believe it. "I want you to stay here, Nicky. But don't feel obligated. I want it to be your choice." "Of course I want to stay here tonight," he said, gazing into Gabriel's eyes. "I can't believe that you really love me." Gabriel's heart ached just from the way Nicky was looking at him. "I can't believe you love me," he replied. "But I don't just want you to stay the night," he added. "I want you to stay forever." He never wanted Nicky out of his sight. 220
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Nicky gasped. "You mean like, move in? Aren't you worried someone will find out?" he asked softly. "I mean after the trial today, it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together." Gabriel sighed. "I know it's risky, but we can just be careful. I want to be with you every night, Nicky. I lost you once, and I don't want that to happen ever again. I don't want you to be my mistress. I want you to be my lover." He looked down at Nicky, hoping the younger man would see his sincerity and desperation. "I can't afford half your rent. I'm barely scraping by with two jobs as it is," he said, sliding his hands around Gabriel's waist under his suit jacket. "You can pay whatever you can afford," Gabriel said, running his hands over Nicky's back. "We can move somewhere else if you want. I make more money than I need anyway." Gabriel knew he sounded desperate, but he wouldn't lose Nicky again. "Please, baby. Think about it. I want to spend every night with you anyway, making up for lost time." He knew their food was getting cold, but this was far more important. "I just don't want to take advantage of you. But maybe if you could pay a little more while I work my way up. I could pay you back eventually." "That's fine. I just need you here in my arms. Please." He bent to kiss Nicky, sliding his tongue into his mouth slowly and gently. The urgency was abated, but he still wanted Nicky badly. He could feel his body reawakening slowly. 221
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Nicky whimpered, melting against Gabriel. After a moment he pulled back and looked into his eyes again, searching them. He swallowed hard. "Doesn't it bother you that I used to ... that I'm a whore?" he croaked. "You are not a whore," Gabriel said forcefully. He looked into Nicky's eyes and whispered, "You are the love of my life, and my fantasy. Whatever happened in the past is over." "If you ever decide that it does bother you, will you promise that you'll tell me?" Nicky asked. Gabriel looked at him seriously and nodded. "Yes," he promised. "My past is not exactly clean, either," he said. "What I did was no better." Nicky stepped close and pressed against him, resting his head on Gabriel's shoulder. "I never thought I would ever feel this way about anyone. But I want to stay with you, Gabriel. More than anything in the world." Gabriel breathed a sigh of relief. He held Nicky close and moaned softly. "I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours. We'll figure everything else out as we go." Nicky nodded, tipping his head back to look into Gabriel's eyes again. He smiled up at him. "I guess you're stuck with me, then." "And I'm the luckiest man in the world," Gabriel said softly, bending his head to kiss Nicky again. He almost felt like crying, it was all so perfect at last. Nicky was in his arms, all his. He pulled back from the kiss finally, and said, "I think we should eat, then I want to take you to our bed." Nicky smiled shyly and helped Gabriel bring the food into the kitchen. They sorted through the cardboard cartons, got 222
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out plates, and went to sit at the small dining table. "Are you really sure about this? I mean, you've had this apartment all to yourself for a while. Are you sure you want me to move in?" he asked. Gabriel smiled. "Do I have to tell you again how I don't want you out of my sight?" He couldn't get enough of just looking at him. Nicky laughed lightly. "Well, you can tell me as often as you like, but you don't have to. I was just making sure." He took a bite of his egg roll. "My schedule is awful, though. I hope that's all right." "So is mine. But as long as you're in our bed at night, I don't mind." Gabriel could barely eat. He was so anxious to have Nicky in his arms again. "I've had roommates, but I hope I don't completely suck at the whole relationship thing. I've never really," He bit his lip. "You'll tell me if I do something wrong, right?" "Stop worrying," Gabriel smiled. "I'm not exactly an expert, either. We'll figure it out together." He pushed his plate away. "Ready to go to bed? I just want to hold you. We don't have to do anything." Though Gabriel would be more than happy to make love to Nicky. Nicky pushed his chair back and stood slowly. "Yeah. I'm ready." He took Gabriel's hand and walked beside him into the bedroom. It was almost too good to be true. Nicky was here, in his bedroom. Their bedroom. He felt nervous because this was a new beginning for them. He started to unbutton his shirt. 223
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Nicky started to slowly strip off his suit, folding it carefully. He draped the jacket over a chair and then unbuttoned his shirt. "So even if all we do is sleep? Is that what you said?" Gabriel smiled. "If that's all you want," he said. He got more serious. "Nicky. Just because sex is why we met, it doesn't mean that's all I want from you." Nicky kicked off his shoes and let his pants drop, stepping close to Gabriel, naked now. "What do you want from me, Gabriel?" he asked quietly. Gabriel couldn't take his eyes off Nicky. "I want you, baby. Just you. All of you." Nicky climbed onto the bed, crawling across it, then turned to lie back. He spread his arms out to the side and smiled up at him. "Well, I'm all yours." Gabriel just gazed at Nicky for a long moment, drinking him in. He was perfect. Gorgeous. Everything he wanted. "I love you," he declared, then stripped off his clothes slowly. "I love you, too, Gabriel. Ever since you kissed me," he said, licking his lips. "I just didn't think I deserved you, and I didn't want to ruin your life." "The only way my life would be ruined is if I didn't have you," he said as he joined Nicky on the bed. They were both naked now. Nicky turned to face him, smiling. "So are you my boyfriend now?" Gabriel smiled. "I certainly hope so. My boyfriend. I like the sound of that." He pressed against Nicky. He was fully aroused just from the proximity of his beautiful lover. 224
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Nicky gazed adoringly into Gabriel's eyes, his fingers stroking lightly over his shoulder. "You're so much bigger than me," he whispered. "I always feel safe when I'm with you." "And I will do anything to keep you safe," Gabriel promised. He liked feeling protective. Nicky smiled and pressed his lips to Gabriel's throat, pressing close to him. "Your big strong arms around me," he purred. "Your big, thick cock inside me." A spike of pure lust shot through Gabriel, and he moaned. "I want to possess you in every way, Nicky. You're all mine." His hands slid down Nicky's back to his firm little ass, squeezing. "Need to be inside you. Deep inside." Nicky could turn him on like no one ever had. "Have you got condoms?" Nicky asked breathily. He nipped lightly at Gabriel's neck. "Because I want to be claimed, right now." Gabriel groaned. "I think so," he said, rolling over to look in the bedside table. He found several, and handed one to Nicky with a tube of lubrication. "Get me ready, baby? Please?" He loved the reverent way Nicky touched him. Nicky accepted them and tipped his head back to look into Gabriel's eyes as he smoothed the Latex down his length, then slicked it liberally with lube. The anticipation made Gabriel tremble. Even though he'd just taken Nicky a few hours ago, every time was like the first. "Oh, Nicky," he breathed, lost in his eyes. Nicky turned so he was facing away from Gabriel and spooned back against him. He turned his head and kissed him 225
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over his shoulder as he slid his leg back and up over Gabriel's thigh. Gabriel slid into position perfectly, moaning as his cock lined up with Nicky's entrance. He ached for this beautiful man, and now he was all his. "Love you, Nicky," he breathed, then slid inside. Nicky closed his eyes and surrendered his body to Gabriel. He arched his back and rocked against him with each of the larger man's thrusts, murmuring helplessly each time. Gabriel craved this, the way Nicky gave up control to him. Nicky was everything he'd ever wanted. He moved, slowly at first but gaining strength, drinking in the sounds he made. Nicky tipped his head back as far as he could, moaning and pressing light kisses against Gabriel's face and neck. "Oh, God. So deep inside me," he breathed, his voice deepening with desire. "All mine," Gabriel moaned, driving deep inside his lover. "You're perfect, my Nicky." He never wanted this to end. Nicky moaned quietly with each deep penetration, the sounds growing gradually louder and more frenzied. "GGabriel, Ohhh I ... Pleeeease," he whimpered. Gabriel loved that Nicky asked for permission, giving even that up to him. It enhanced the possessiveness he felt for him. He thrust harder, and groaned, "Touch yourself. Come for me." Nicky gasped and curled his fingers around his own cock, stroking himself in time to Gabriel's thrusts. "Oh God, Gabriel." He started to tremble violently, his body gripping Gabriel firmly as he shook. 226
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There was nothing more beautiful to Gabriel than Nicky, especially Nicky when he was drowning in the pleasure he'd given him. "Oh Nicky, love you so," Gabriel panted as he tried to hold back for one more thrust. Nicky was panting hard for long moments afterward, cradled in Gabriel's arms, still intimately joined. His eyes drifted closed and he smiled. Gabriel just held Nicky, blissfully happy for once in his life. "Are you okay, baby?" he asked, unwilling to move. Nicky sighed with contentment. "Now that I'm here with you, yeah." "And here is where you're gonna stay," Gabriel breathed, stroking Nicky's skin softly. "As long as you want to." Nicky turned slowly in Gabriel's embrace. He smiled at him and kissed him lightly on the lips. "I hope you don't get tired of me, because you'll have a difficult time getting rid of me now." "Good," Gabriel said immediately. His eyes never wavered from Nicky's as he spoke. "I'm the luckiest man in the world." Nicky smirked. "We'll see how lucky you feel when my alarm goes off at four AM. Although I can sleep until six tomorrow. I'm off from that job." "I'll get up and make you coffee," Gabriel replied. "As long as you're here, that's all that matters." Nicky smiled and nuzzled against his cheek. "You're going to spoil me. I work in a coffee shop, you know," he said, giggling softly. "I fully intend to spoil you," Gabriel replied. "So you'd better get used to it." 227
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Nicky blushed, looking down. "I don't deserve you. You've been nothing but sweet to me, and I've been awful to you," he said softly. Gabriel shook his head and tipped Nicky's face up to his. "Don't say that. I paid you, remember? I'm no angel." To him, Nicky was the angel. "You were just trying to get by." Nicky shrugged. "Then I blackmailed you, then I lied in my deposition to the police." He sighed. "And you're this hero, defending people." "I defend people who are usually guilty. If not of what they're on trial for, they're guilty of something. I'm no hero." Gabriel sighed. "I was defending Mark, after all." "You have principles and you stand by them. Everyone deserves an advocate. Isn't that what our whole system is based on?" Gabriel nodded. "But it doesn't always work out how it should. Then I have to live with knowing I got a guilty person off." "I can understand how that would be frustrating. But surely you do more good than harm. It's the other guy's fault if the bad guys go free, isn't it?" Nicky asked, gazing at Gabriel's face. Gabriel shrugged. "I can't look at it that way sometimes. But yes, most of the time I feel like I am doing good." He stroked a thumb over Nicky's gorgeously full lips. "And right now I wouldn't change a thing in my life." Nicky blushed, smiling shyly. "That's 'cause you're clearly mentally unstable," he teased. "I'm sure you could do much better." 228
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"There is no one better," Gabriel assured him. He liked the way Nicky blushed. Nicky kissed Gabriel's fingers, sucking one between his lips. "Completely demented," he said hotly. Gabriel moaned. "Did I ever tell you that you have the hottest mouth I have ever seen?" He couldn't get enough of his beautiful lover. Nicky smiled, swirling his tongue around Gabriel's finger theatrically. "Is that so?" "Oh yeah," Gabriel said, eyes glued to Nicky's mouth. "It's fucking incredible. And of course what you do with it." "And now it's completely dedicated to bringing you and only you pleasure," he purred. "I like the sound of that," Gabriel purred. "All mine." He ran his hands possessively over Nicky's body. Nicky took hold of Gabriel's wrist and held it up, gazing into his eyes as he licked from wrist to palm to the tip of his middle finger. "You haven't even seen a fraction of what it can do," he murmured. Gabriel was panting now. "I can't wait to fully explore the possibilities," he said, slowly hardening once again. "And I can't wait to show you," he said. "I mean, now that I'm retired from the sex business, I have only you to hone my skills on. It would be a shame to let such skills go to waste." "I am definitely up to the task of keeping you in practice," Gabriel said, stroking his fingertips down Nicky's flat belly. "Are you? You wanna experience the kind of blowjob that has made grown men cry? A two to five hundred dollar value, yours absolutely free," he said, grinning cheekily. 229
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"I definitely want to try it," he answered, rocking his rapidly growing cock against Nicky. "See if it's up to the advertisements." Nicky pushed Gabriel firmly back by the shoulders, straddling him. He braced his hands on Gabriel's shoulders and leaned down, starting on his neck, licking and nipping at the sensitive skin as he wriggled down his body. Gabriel whimpered. By the time Nicky got to his chest he was fully hard once again. Only Nicky could affect him this way. Nicky suckled enthusiastically downward. He circled Gabriel's belly button with the tip of his tongue, grinning up at him. He pushed Gabriel's thighs apart roughly, settling between them. Gabriel lay back, letting Nicky work his magic. He loved to look down and see that gorgeous mouth. Nicky bent his head to the task, trailing wet, suckling kisses up the inside of Gabriel's thighs before nuzzling gently at the hardness at their apex. He licked up the full length of him, breathing hotly against him. Gabriel gave himself over to his lover's talented mouth. Nicky knew just what he liked by now and he just let him go, letting the pleasure build. Nicky poured all of his expertise into the task. He took Gabriel deep down his throat quickly and ruthlessly. He pulled back, then swallowed him down again and again, enveloping all of Gabriel's cock in the smooth, slick heat of his mouth and throat. 230
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There wasn't much Gabriel could do but enjoy it, and he certainly did. He was moaning and whispering Nicky's name, and the pleasure was intense but not quite enough to bring him off. It was lovely, but soon he began to ache for release. Nicky watched Gabriel's face as he sucked him hard and fast. His fingers gripped Gabriel's thighs, and he noted his every reaction. Gabriel panted and gasped and grabbed a handful of Nicky's hair. He arched up, and moaned, "Do it baby, make me come." Nicky moaned around Gabriel's huge cock filling his mouth, the low vibration shivering through them both. His throat muscles worked around him, tightening and gripping as he put everything, every trick and every emotion into it. The humming put Gabriel over the edge, and he cried out as he began his release. It felt incredible to come in his lover's pretty mouth. Nicky swallowed and pulled back a little to smear some of Gabriel's come over his lips and chin. He gazed up at him with love in his eyes. Gabriel moaned as he looked down at Nicky, pleasure still shooting through his body. He panted, pulling him into his arms. Nicky crawled back up and collapsed against him with a low hum. He licked his lips, smiling at Gabriel. "Love you," he said quietly. "You're amazing," Gabriel sighed, holding, Nicky close. His body was still trembling, and he didn't want to move just yet. 231
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Nicky settled against him, his eyes fluttering closed. He slipped his arm around Gabriel's waist and sighed softly. After a few minutes, Gabriel turned toward Nicky and caressed his side. He wanted to give Nicky pleasure too. "I should try to sleep," he whispered. "Gotta work soon." Gabriel shook his head. "Do you think I'm going to leave you like this? Let me take care of you, baby." Nicky looked uncertainly into Gabriel's eyes. "You don't have to," he breathed. "I know I don't have to," Gabriel answered. "I want to. I love to touch you, baby." Nicky bit his full lower lip and nodded, still gazing at him wide-eyed in the low light. Gabriel smiled and trailed his fingers lower, finding Nicky's hard cock. "You're so beautiful," he breathed as he wrapped his fingers around it. "My love." Nicky moaned, tipping his head back. His eyes rolled back in his head and he gasped quietly. "Oh, God," he panted. Gabriel stroked slowly, eyes glued to Nicky's pretty face. He loved making him moan. "Every inch of you is mine." Nicky whimpered loudly. "Yes. All yours. Forever. Gabriel." His hips jerked forward, involuntarily. Gabriel stroked faster, leaning in to kiss Nicky as he did so. Nicky moaned needily against Gabriel's lips, opening to him. He slid his fingers into Gabriel's hair, holding on. Gabriel kept stroking faster, and he pulled back to say, "Let me hear you, baby. Love you so much." He loved to see the ecstasy he'd given Nicky. 232
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Nicky gasped for air and whimpered, holding nothing back. "Love you, Gabriel. Oh God, feels so perfect when you touch me," he said. "I ohh, uhhnnnhh..." "Tell me you're mine," Gabriel commanded. "All mine." Nicky made him feel incredibly possessive still. "I belong to you, Gabriel. Every inch of me is yours," he breathed. His hands slid down to Gabriel's shoulders and he gripped hard as he moaned helplessly. "Please, can I come, please Gabriel?" Gabriel loved how Nicky gave himself over, letting Gabriel control him completely. "You can come," he finally said. Nicky's body shook convulsively, and he screamed Gabriel's name as he came hard. Gabriel stroked him through it, watching his lovers face intently. It took a few minutes for Nicky to be coherent again. He smiled drowsily up at Gabriel. "Love you." "Love you too," Gabriel answered. "Sleep, baby." He pulled the covers up over them. [Back to Table of Contents]
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Epilogue "I told you I hate surprises, right?" Nicky said, though he was grinning. He knew they were going somewhere that involved an airplane and a passport, but he wasn't allowed to even look at his ticket. Once they got to the gate, though, it was impossible to hide. There was a huge sign. Gabriel tried to cover Nicky's eyes before he saw it, but it was too late. "Puerto Rico?" Gabriel beamed at Nicky. "Almost," he said. "We change planes there. And no more questions." Since he'd started working part time as a model, Nicky's schedule had lightened up considerably. No matter how busy he was at modeling, it was never as busy as two minimum wage jobs. And now he was enjoying the fruits of his new schedule. He sighed long-sufferingly. "You're going to have to tell me eventually. We'll be there in a few hours." Gabriel smiled. "Stop being so annoying or I won't take you into the bathroom during the flight and ravish you," he threatened. Nicky gasped. "Annoying?" he asked, looking offended. He pouted a little. He knew Gabriel was only teasing, but their gentle bickering made him feel warm and loved inside for some reason, even more so than tender words of affection. Gabriel smiled and moved closer. He leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Let me surprise you, baby. Just trust me." He licked at Nicky's ear after he finished speaking, and breathed in his subtle scent. 234
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Nicky smiled softly and shivered at the intimate touch right out in the open. "I trust you," he said, smiling secretively. In no time they were boarding first class to Puerto Rico. Nicky had never flown at all before, let alone first class. He decided the best course was to relax and enjoy it, so he did. Gabriel did everything he could to make it special for Nicky. He made sure that the flight attendants catered to Nicky's every need. He also never stopped touching Nicky in some way. Nicky didn't find flying scary, and he was amazed by Gabriel's attention to every detail. When they were finally left alone momentarily, he nuzzled against Gabriel's ear. "You realize I'm already yours, right?" he asked smirking. Gabriel sighed contentedly. "Yes, and I don't intend to ever take that for granted," he answered, smiling at his young lover. "You deserve a treat." Nicky smiled and rested his head on Gabriel's shoulder. "Thank you. I don't deserve all of this, but thank you, anyway. You're far too good to me." "Would you stop saying that?" Gabriel replied. "I'm the lucky one here. I have the hottest boyfriend in the world." He stroked Nicky's hair gently. Since Mark's conviction, Gabriel had won two more highpowered cases, and redeemed himself completely in his firm's eyes, if there had been any doubt. Now, they'd been together for six months. They were making up their own rules as they went along. Nicky had never really had a relationship at all, let alone one that had lasted so long. He was trying to get his mind around the whole concept of having the sweetest, most 235
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attentive guy in the universe love him. He leaned close and whispered in Gabriel's ear. "Well, I have the boyfriend with the most magnificent cock," he teased, for Gabriel's ears only. Gabriel's breath caught. "And it aches for you, all the time," he replied, pulling a blanket over the both of them so he could touch Nicky more freely. Nicky grinned and cuddled closer under the blanket. First class seats, he decided, were not meant for couples, but they did their best. He slid his hand across Gabriel's chest under the blanket. "Oh, yeah? Even now?" he purred. Laughing softly, Gabriel replied, "There's only one way to find out." He caught Nicky's hand under the blanket and directed it downward. Nicky grinned and started rubbing against the hard line in Gabriel's trousers. "Oh, yeah. I guess even now. What are we gonna do about that?" he murmured. He knew Gabriel liked to take risks. Nicky just wanted to minimize the actual danger if possible. He felt like it was his job to protect Gabriel, in a way. Gabriel moaned softly. "I can think of a few dozen things." His expression didn't give away what they were doing. He leaned in and spoke in Nicky's ear, "Shall I elucidate?" "Mmm, you know those big fancy lawyer words make me hot. Yes, please elucidate," he purred, still rubbing firmly with the heel of his hand. Smirking, Gabriel began to explain. "Well, you could suck me off right here. I know I'd enjoy it, but the rest of the plane might not appreciate the show. They ought to, but there's no accounting for taste. Or I could bend you over right here and 236
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fuck you till you scream. Again, we would enjoy it but the rest of the passengers? Not so much. Though the male flight attendant might be jealous." Nicky giggled. "Okay, so what other options are there? Ones that aren't going to get us tossed out at thirty-thousand feet?" he asked. He loved it when Gabriel talked dirty. He loved everything about him. "Mmm, well, at the risk of being conventional, there is the bathroom." Nicky nuzzled Gabriel's neck. "The bathroom is an option. I think everyone's snoozing. Should be okay, don't you think?" he said softly. "Mmm, yeah," Gabriel breathed. "Need you, baby, so bad. You want my cock?" His hand slipped under Nicky's shirt. Nicky's fingers stroked at Gabriel's cock through the thin fabric of his suit pants. "So much, sexy. I need your cock so much. I want to feel you buried deep inside my ass." Gabriel was panting now. "You'd let me fuck you anywhere, wouldn't you? You're my little slut." "You want me to crawl into your lap right now, baby?" he asked. He was so relieved that Gabriel had gotten over being worried about calling him "slut" or even "whore". It was just sexy coming from his handsome lover, and he knew he didn't mean anything hurtful by it. Gabriel groaned. "Wish you could, so all these people could see who you belong to." Nicky drew a deep, trembling breath. "I will if you tell me to." He knew Gabriel wouldn't, but he also knew it would turn him on to feel like Nicky would do it, anyway. 237
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"One of these days I will," Gabriel promised. "Maybe at a sex club. I'll fuck you in front of everyone." Nicky gasped at that. The idea was really fucking hot. "I think we really need to go to the bathroom now," he rasped. Gabriel grinned and said, "Get in there and get ready, then." Nicky withdrew with a naughty smile. "Five minutes," he mouthed as he unbuckled his seatbelt and disappeared into the first class cabin bathroom. Gabriel waited barely five minutes, then he stood and made his way to the bathroom. He was rock hard, and he knocked softly on the door. Nicky didn't have much time for prep, but they'd only just had sex that morning in the shower before they left for the airport. He had a lubricated condom ready for Gabriel and he pressed as far back in the narrow space as he could manage to admit the other man. He gave him a charming smile as they managed to get the door shut and locked. "Hi there," he breathed. He held up the condom, and then turned carefully toward the mirror. "I thought you'd never get here." Gabriel was nearly panting as he got his pants open and slid the condom on. "I got here as soon as I could," he grinned. He caught Nicky's gaze in the mirror. "You always make me so hot, baby." Nicky wriggled his own pants down to his knees, and braced his arms up on the tiny counter, leaning up as far as he could. He smiled at Gabriel. "Don't you understand how desperate I am for you?" 238
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Gabriel's breath hitched. He pressed the head of his cock against Nicky and groaned, "I'll never get tired of hearing it." Nicky whimpered quietly. "Please take me, Gabriel. Need you so fucking bad," he said, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Gabriel didn't answer, just thrust up as gently as possible, burying his cock deep inside Nicky. He held onto the smaller man's hips and stared into his eyes in the mirror. "Love you, baby," he moaned. Nicky gasped. The setting was practically claustrophobic, but so intimate. He was gazing directly into Gabriel's eyes, and the gently spoken words seemed to carry so much more weight. As if three words they'd both said thousands of times were now soft utterances of the contents of their souls. "I love you, too, Gabriel," he answered. They didn't dare stay here too long, and they were both too aroused to take their time. Gabriel thrust as hard as he could in the confined space, and held Nicky's gaze as he did so. Nicky rested his head against the glass and moaned. He was completely beyond lust for the gorgeous man who was fucking him. It didn't take long for him to start shaking, close to release. "Gabriel," he gasped. "Baby, can I come?" he pleaded softly. "Not yet," Gabriel said, then reached around to wrap his hand around Nicky's cock, stroking him quickly as he thrust hard enough to shake the fixtures. "Now you can come." He continued stroking and thrusting, moaning softly. 239
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Nicky stifled a whimper and came hard, shaking against the mirror and tiny sink. "Oh, fuck." His body gripped Gabriel's cock tightly as he pulsed over his fist. Gabriel didn't even try to hold back. He cried out Nicky's name softly as he filled him, never taking his eyes from his lover. Nicky's eyes drifted closed and he smiled, feeling a warm aftermath of euphoria that only sex with someone you love could provide. He opened his eyes and looked at Gabriel in the mirror. "Will that hold you for a few hours?" he asked, smiling cheekily. Gabriel chuckled as he pulled out. "Maybe. How about you?" He held Nicky against him for a moment. Nicky exhaled a deep, satisfied breath. "Mmm, I could go for a nap just about now, I think. Have we much farther to go?" he asked. "About two more hours," Gabriel said, refastening his trousers. "Have I worn you out?" He teased. Nicky ran the water, wetting a cloth to wash himself off with. "Only temporarily. I'll be up for anything by the time we're there, wherever that might be." Gabriel smiled. "I hope so." He bent to kiss Nicky deeply, then pulled back. "Where we're going, I can kiss you like that whenever I want." Nicky raised his eyebrows as he struggled to pull his pants back up. "Is that so? And where would that be?" he asked, grinning. "You'll see," Gabriel replied. "Did you think I was that easy to trick?" He checked himself in the mirror. 240
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Nicky snapped his fingers. "Darn it, you're too fast for me, baby," he said, giggling. He fixed his clothes and glanced at him over his shoulder. "You wanna leave first, or should I?" he asked. "Its not like they don't all know what we were doing in here," Gabriel shrugged. "But I'll go first." He kissed Nicky quickly then ducked out. Nicky returned to his seat a moment later. He cuddled under the blanket and put the seat back as far as it would go. In a moment or two, he was fast asleep, curled on his side. When the plane touched down, Nicky felt disoriented. He sat up, rubbing his eyes as the rest of their cabin was already getting their carry-on items. He followed Gabriel, still a little groggy from the long flight, and they climbed down a flight of stairs out of the plane. They changed planes to a much smaller one, and the flight was brief. About an hour later, they touched down on a lush island. When they got off the plane, the atmosphere was like another world. The plants and the smells and the very feel of the air around them were foreign. Once they passed through the terminal, a long black limousine awaited them. Their suitcases were taken care of, and they climbed inside. A touch of exhaustion made Nicky giddy, and he scooted close to Gabriel in the back of the limo. "You're really too much, you know that?" he said quietly. They traversed the width of the tropical island and there was a beach so white, Nicky wished for his sunglasses. It almost looked like snow, except for the bright blue water beyond. 241
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As they approached the coastline, the land dipped closer to sea level, and they passed through the arch of a resort. They were met in the lobby by a handsome young man driving a gold cart. Their luggage was loaded on the back, and they were whisked off down a lane that grew more and more narrow the closer they got to the water. Finally, they stopped at a bungalow on the beach. It was simple, but clean and comfortable, and in the most perfect location Nicky had ever seen. As they ventured inside, more young men carried their things into the bedroom. Three walls of the room were giant shutters that had been opened to let in the gentle sea breezes. Beyond was a teak terrace with table and chairs, chaises, and beyond that, perfect white sand and water. "Wow," Nicky said, unable to really come up with a more descriptive statement at the moment. Gabriel just watched Nicky, smiling. "You like it?" he asked, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around him. Nicky smiled, leaning back into Gabriel's embrace. "Like seems to fall a little short," he said, staring out at the beach. "Jesus, are you like, way richer than I thought?" he asked with a grin. "No," Gabriel replied, hugging Nicky close to him. "But I haven't had a vacation in a long time, and you deserve it. I want everything to be perfect. This is a gay resort, so for once we don't have to be careful." he smirked. "And it's clothing optional." 242
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The porters disappeared into the background, and after a minute, they were completely alone. Nicky turned in Gabriel's arms, and slid his own around Gabriel's neck. "Thank you. It's beautiful," he whispered. "You're beautiful. Inside and out." No one had ever gone to so much trouble to make him happy, and he felt a deep well of love and gratitude, that he was hard pressed to convey with words. Gabriel stared back into Nicky's eyes and replied, "I'd do absolutely anything for you. Anything." He bent to kiss his lover gently, his hands sliding down Nicky's back. Nicky moaned, pressing his body against Gabriel's. He kissed back passionately, sliding into his love's mouth, enjoying the familiar taste of him. His fingers threaded into Gabriel's hair, tightening and holding him firmly into the deep kiss. Gabriel pulled back after a few minutes. He licked his lips and gazed down at Nicky. "Still tired? Did you want to take a nap? I was going to have dinner served here in about half hour, but I can tell them to wait." Nicky grinned. "Did you pack any swimming trunks? Or should we go au naturel? That water out there looks too good to resist." He leaned back and pulled his shirt off over his head. Gabriel smirked. "I did pack trunks. But feel free to forego them. I love to see you naked, you know that. Everyone else will be jealous when they see you." Nicky laughed. "Yes, they'll be jealous of me when they get a look at you naked." He was already kicking off his shoes. "I don't even know if you like to swim," he said, 243
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stepping back to unfasten his pants and wriggle out of them. He had no shame about his body, and was completely comfortable to skinny dip as long as it was legal. "I love to swim," Gabriel said as he started to shed his clothes. "I've never swum naked, though." He stopped, admiring Nicky's body. "On second thought, maybe this isn't a good idea after all." Nicky grinned broadly and tossed his clothes on the bed. "Oh?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. "And why is that?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief. Gabriel licked his lips. "Let's just say that you're far too sexy, and if anyone happens to look away from your beauty and look at me, well, they'll get an eyeful." He grinned wickedly at his lover. Nicky slid away from him, smiling. "Are there towels around here?" he asked. He padded off to the bathroom, looking for towels. Gabriel watched him go. "Of course there are towels. Egyptian cotton towels, of course." He followed Nicky into the bathroom. "Do I need to hide behind a towel?" Nicky found a couple of large bath sheets. He tossed one at Gabriel, laughing. "No hiding. Just a little drying off after we swim. Ready? Last one in is a rotten egg." He opened the doors wide and gave Gabriel a sweet smile over his shoulder before he skipped off toward the beach. Gabriel followed more slowly. With a glance around, he set the towel down on a chaise and followed Nicky into the water. Nicky splashed in, diving into the surf without hesitation. He swam out a ways, then bounced to his feet in the gentle 244
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surf. He pushed his hair back off his face. "It's almost like bath water," he said, water sparkling on his pale chest. Gabriel stopped, just at the edge of the water. "You're so beautiful," he said, transfixed, then walked slowly in to meet his lover. Nicky started to walk backward, laughing. "Can you swim, Gabriel?" he asked. He felt lighthearted and free. He wanted to play with Gabriel, tease him, toy with him, before he ultimately tumbled into his arms. "Oh, yeah," Gabriel said, advancing on him. "I was a lifeguard in high school. Can you swim?" Nicky nodded. "Yeah. I can swim. You were a lifeguard in high school? That's a really hot mental image, baby. Gonna give me mouth-to-mouth?" "I'll give you whatever you want," Gabriel replied, and dove at Nicky, trying to tackle him back into the water. Nicky shrieked and flailed, trying to get away. He gasped for breath right before he stumbled backward as Gabriel came upon him. He reached for him, feeling strong arms around him, pulling him up. Gabriel pulled Nicky against his body, moaning at the skin to skin contact. "You okay?" he asked, running his hands down Nicky's slender body. Nicky gasped and nodded, coughing and looking sheepish. "Yeah. Sorry." They were covered to above the waist in water. Nicky put his arms around Gabriel's neck, smiling, and effortlessly wrapped his legs around Gabriel's hips. "I'm fine now." 245
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Gabriel groaned at the intimate contact. "You know I'll always rescue you," he breathed, staring into Nicky's eyes. Nicky nodded. "'Cause you're my hero. My lawyer in shining armor." He leaned in and kissed him slowly and deeply. Kissing him deeply, Gabriel moved them into deeper water, until they were submerged to chest height. He pulled back and murmured, "I love you so much. So much I can't even express it." Nicky clung to him, their wet bodies sealed together in the warm water. "I'm yours. Completely. You saved my life, Gabriel." He leaned his head in and kissed him deeply. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world. The water ebbed and flowed around them as they lost themselves in the kiss. The water was warm, the sun shone on them and it was literally paradise. Finally, Gabriel pulled back and said, "I don't think they really encourage public sex here, so maybe we'd better get inside." Nicky grinned. "Okay. A roll in the hay, then some food? Then perhaps some lying about, maybe a shower, then more sex and more food?" he asked. He was certain he could get used to a schedule like this. Gabriel laughed. "Sounds perfect to me." He led them out of the water, and they wrapped in towels quickly and headed into the cottage. Dinner had been laid out while they were out, and Gabriel said, "We could always eat later." Nicky pulled the towel off and used it to dry his hair. "Not hungry for food?" he asked, making sure to pose in such a way that Gabriel had an excellent view of his ass. He tossed 246
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the towel on the bed, then climbed on, flopping back onto his back. "What are you in the mood for?" he asked. Gabriel threw his towel aside. "I think you can easily tell what I'm in the mood for," he purred, moving closer. "You." "You're in luck. There's plenty of me in stock. Please," he said, spreading his arms wide on the mattress. "Come help yourself." He smiled broadly, his eyes roaming over Gabriel's impressive body. Gabriel joined Nicky on the bed. "Happy anniversary, baby. It's been the best six months of my life." Nicky smiled. "Happy anniversary, Gabriel. You've made me happier than I ever dreamed I could be." Nicky had been thinking about something and he nibbled on his bottom lip. "Gabriel?" he asked softly. "Yes?" he answered, frowning. "Is something wrong?" He pressed as close as possible. "No, nothing's wrong, baby. Everything's perfect. If you don't want to, I totally understand. I was just thinking, we've been together for six months, and I've been getting tested every month, and..." He didn't know how to say it, how to broach the subject. And if Gabriel refused, he knew he would feel hurt, even though he would hide it. Gabriel's eyes widened. "You mean go without a condom?" Nicky swallowed hard. "Well, yeah. If you want to. I mean if you don't feel comfortable doing it, I totally understand." His heart was in his throat as he struggled to appear casual about it. Gabriel whimpered softly and he kissed Nicky hard before replying. "Of course I want to. I want to be with you, with 247
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nothing between us. As close as two people can be. God, I love you so much, Nicky." A rush of love and relief washed over him and he smiled up at Gabriel. "I haven't been with anyone but you since before the trial. And I've never let anyone ... I always used condoms." "Me, too," Gabriel replied, brushing his fingers lightly over Nicky's face. "I want to share this with you, baby. I want to feel every part of you." "Oh God, Gabriel. Make love to me," he breathed. He wanted that, as if this would make them one completely. "Need you so much." "We only need one thing," Gabriel said, and got up quickly to find the lube he'd brought with him. Then he was back with Nicky, and he began to kiss him, first on his mouth, then working down to his neck and chest. Nicky gasped. He was truly in paradise. "Can't wait to feel you inside me, baby," he breathed, leaning up on his elbows to look down at Gabriel. "You're the sexiest man I've ever been with, and no one else will ever touch me like this, I swear to you," he said softly. "You're the only one I want." "You're all mine, baby," groaned Gabriel. "Never wanted anyone the way I want you." He ran his hand up Nicky's thigh, parting his legs. Nicky opened to him without hesitation. They'd had sex countless times before, both rough and gentle. But there was something about this that seemed special. "Thank you so much for this trip." 248
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Gabriel smiled as he rolled on top of Nicky. "I wanted to do something special for you." He touched him everywhere, claiming his body. "It's special all right," he said, breath hitching. He was getting seriously aroused and he squirmed impatiently beneath him. "God, Gabriel. Take me. Need you." "Don't be in such a hurry," Gabriel smirked, pressing his fully aroused cock against Nicky. "I want to remember this forever. The first time we were together with no barriers." "Sorry," he panted. He licked his lips, trying to calm the rampant lust thudding though him. He reached up and slid his hands over Gabriel's shoulders. "You make me crazy." Gabriel moaned. "The way you ask for it, you make me need you more than air." Nicky smiled adoringly up at him. "Gabriel, love you." He pulled his legs farther apart, wrapping them around Gabriel's hips. "I'm gonna be sore as hell by the end of this trip, aren't I?" "I can't help it, baby. You're too sexy," Gabriel grinned. He handed the lube to Nicky. "Get me ready please?" Nicky took the small tube and squeezed some out into his palm. He reached for Gabriel's gorgeous cock and wrapped his hand around it. He spread the slickness evenly, staring into his eyes as he stroked him slowly. He knew this was a momentous occasion. Gabriel trusted him, and that was more precious to him than anything. "Oh God, Nicky," moaned Gabriel. "Can't wait, my Nicky, my love." When Nicky had finished, he moved into position, biting his lip. "You're so perfect." 249
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Nicky ran his fingers over Gabriel's chest, panting softly. He relaxed back against the soft mattress, spread out beneath him. "Yours. Completely, Gabriel," he declared. With a whimper that turned into a full-fledged moan, Gabriel slid inside Nicky. As the heat enveloped him and he felt Nicky fully for the first time, he cried out. It was difficult for Nicky not to come instantly. Gabriel's reaction was so sexy it took all his control to hold back. "Love you," he rasped. "Nicky," Gabriel almost sobbed. He slid deeper, and started to thrust as carefully as possible. "Feels so much more." Nicky wrapped his arms and legs around Gabriel. He cried out as well, arching beneath him. Gabriel's handsome face, intense with passion, was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. "Love you so much, my sweet Nicky." Gabriel panted between thrusts. He moved faster and thrust deeper, knowing his lover's body well. Every move Gabriel made was perfect. He knew every way to make Nicky's body react to him. And Nicky was more than happy to give Gabriel everything, every secret, every personal detail. In the six months that they'd been together, Nicky had all but completely bared his soul to his lover. Faster and faster, Gabriel made love to Nicky. Every thrust took them higher, every gasp and moan and kiss brought them closer. It was as if they were one body, one soul, two people so in love that mere sex paled in comparison. It might have lasted minutes or hours, but all too soon Gabriel gasped, "Nicky! Baby, come for me, can't hold back." 250
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Nicky didn't need to be told twice. He sobbed Gabriel's name and came. He felt like he was caught in a swirling vortex of sensation as he shook from the force of his climax. Nicky's body gripped him and Gabriel all but screamed, losing control and following Nicky into climax. "Nnnicky!" was all he could articulate, before the pleasure blinded him. Nicky relaxed back against the mattress, still breathing hard after several long minutes. He grinned up at Gabriel. "I'm the luckiest guy on earth," he whispered. "I love you so much, Gabriel. You're everything to me." Gabriel settled on to the bed beside Nicky. "I'm so happy I found you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Taking care of you, and making love to you." Nicky turned toward him, curling around him as if Gabriel was a beloved security blanket. "I'm yours forever, my Gabriel. I love you with all my heart. I never thought I'd fall in love, but I can't live without you." "You'll never have to," Gabriel promised. He kissed Nicky again, softly, and held him as close as possible. [Back to Table of Contents]
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About the Author Inspired by the important things in life: beauty, love, and passion, Jade has spent several years writing erotic fiction. The forbidden nature of homoeroticism has been the basis for many megabytes of fiction that has delighted a wide circle of online readers. Please feel free to visit Jade on MySpace at www.myspace.com/jadefalconer.
If you are connected to the Internet, take a moment to rate this eBook by going back to your bookshelf at www.fictionwise.com.
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