The Beast Within

Published by Silver Publishing Publisher of Erotic Romance

The Beast Within Edward Kendrick

Published by Silver Publishing Publisher of Erotic Romance

ABOUT THE E-BOOK YOU HAVE PURCHASED: Your non-refundable purchase of this e-book allows you to only ONE LEGAL copy for your own personal reading on your own personal computer or device. You do not have resell or distribution rights without the prior written permission of both the publisher and the copyright owner of this book. This book cannot be copied in any format, sold, or otherwise transferred from your computer to another through upload to a file sharing peer to peer program, for free or for a fee, or as a prize in any contest. Such action is illegal and in violation of the South African Copyright Law. Distribution of this e-book, in whole or in part, online, offline, in print or in any way or any other method currently known or yet to be invented, is forbidden. If you do not want this book anymore, you must delete it from your computer. WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated and is punishable by imprisonment and a fine." Cover Artist: Reese Dante Editor: Jason Huffman The Beast Within © 2011 Edward Kendrick ISBN # 9781920501310 Attention Readers: This book uses US English. All rights reserved. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission. All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental. The Licensed Art Material is being used for illustrative purposes only; any person depicted in the Licensed Art Material, is a model.

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NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER Dear Reader, Thank you for your purchase of this title. The authors and staff of Silver Publishing hope you enjoy this read and that we will have a long and happy association together. Please remember that the only money authors make from writing comes from the sales of their books. If you like their work, spread the word and tell others about the books, but please refrain from sharing this book in any form. Authors depend on sales and sales only to support their families. If you see "free shares" offered or cut-rate sales on pirate sites of this title, you can report the offending entry to [email protected] Thank you for not pirating our titles. Lodewyk Deysel Publisher Silver Publishing http://www.spsilverpublishing.com

DEDICATION For my son He doesn't always get why I write what I do But he's proud of me none the less. And I'm very proud of him.

TRADEMARKS ACKNOWLEDGEMENT The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction: Dear Abby: Phillips-Van Buren, Inc. Lyrcra: Invista North America

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CHAPTER ONE "Hey, where you headed now?" Gary looked over his shoulder and gave a hint of a smile. "Nowhere, everywhere. Hell if I know. Just away from here." "Come on, Gary, it's not so bad." Devin walked quickly toward him, hand held out. "Stick around and unwind." Gary glanced down at the hand then up at Devin again. "Dance? That does nothing for me." "So we do something else." Devin let his hand drop down to his side again. He was tempted to just turn and go back to the dance floor. To find someone else and sate his need to wipe away the last month. But… He bit his lip. "Come on, just one dance?" "What would that accomplish? It's over, done, finito. No more games, Devin. You've changed and it's… not working anymore." With that said, Gary walked quickly out of the club. Devin watched him go and felt empty inside. When someone touched his shoulder he spun around then smiled bitterly. "If you're here to watch the meltdown it's not happening."

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Vanni chuckled softly. "Of course it's not. He's not worth it. Come, let me help you forget him." He held out his hand and Devin took it. The lights, the mass of humanity on the dance floor, the throb of the music, all began to work their magic and soon Devin was lost in a world beyond reality. Faces spun by until they blurred into one, known and unfamiliar at the same moment. Hot bodies, lathered in sweat, glistened eerily under the flashing lights as they moved chaotically to the sounds of frenetic instruments. Vanni held him tightly while he wove an erotic spell around Devin that only heightened the other sensations. Desire swelled within him just as his cock swelled beneath the tightness of his jeans. He needed… he needed… "No!" Devin broke free, his eyes wild. They glistened green and red and gold as the multi-colored pulsating beams flashed over them. "Devin!" Vanni said sharply. "I can't… I need…" Devin spun around to thread his way erratically through the whirling bodies to the door. As he got to the door he glanced back to see Vanni watching him, his face devoid of emotion before he turned away. Probably looking for the next man willing to dance 2

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with him, Devin thought in disgust. **** Gary was tense and angry when he left the club, although he had done his best to keep the anger hidden from Devin. He was quite certain he probably hadn't succeeded. The club seemed to accentuate any emotions he felt, be they lust, love, or just plain aggravation. When all three were present he had difficulty handling them. Tonight that had most definitely been the case. Going there had been a huge mistake but he had needed one more chance to try to get through to Devin, though why he had felt the club could be the place to work out their problems was beyond him now that he thought about it. Devin had always been somewhat erratic; his moods could swing back and forth at the drop of a hat. Recently, however, that had become much worse. Gary never knew from one day to the next whether he would be dealing with the sweet, loving man he had met three years ago or the tension-ridden bitch Devin seemed to turn into more and more often these days. I wish to hell I knew what to do about you, Dev, Gary thought somewhat morosely as he made his way through the parking lot at the side of the club. "And why 3

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the hell did I park in the dark?" he muttered when he realized the lights barely reached the back of the lot. He had just unlocked the door when he thought he heard something in the trees that bordered the lot. Quickly he got in, turned the headlights on then shook his head when he saw a cat's gleaming eyes before the animal beat a fast retreat. "I probably scared you as badly as you did me," he muttered in wry amusement. At loose ends now and not wanting to go back to his empty apartment, he pulled out onto the street to head away from the heart of the city. When he reached the river road he felt his depression and anger begin to wane as the cool air blew in through the open windows. Within minutes he was at his favorite spot and pulled off the highway to park on the verge. A few yards away through the trees he could see the river, dark and mysterious, the lights of a few houses adding glitter to its surface. He walked silently through the trees, the sound of the river now louder than the noise of the traffic behind him, which was just how he liked it. When he reached the edge he stood, hands loose at his sides as he breathed in the slightly dank, fishy smell that assaulted his nostrils. It reminded him of the lake where he'd grown up. One of the reasons he came here; it brought back memories of a kinder, gentler time before things had skewed sideways in 4

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his life. As he pondered this a night heron appeared, swooping down to land at the river's edge. There it stood, so still that if he hadn't seen its arrival Gary might have missed it. He stepped back, careful not to disturb the bird, then sank down to his knees to watch it. And so the two of them remained until Gary's knees began to ache and his eyes blurred from tiredness. He eased back until he sat, arms wrapped around his legs, and drifted off into a light doze. **** Vanni rose from his knees to wipe a hand across his mouth. The man in front of him put his now flaccid cock back into his jeans after stripping off the condom, which he tied off, dropped into the john, and flushed. Money exchanged hands then the man left. Vanni counted it quickly, put it in his pocket, and returned to the dance floor. Arms crossed, he leaned back against the wall to observe the dwindling crowd. Some nights it doesn't pay to get out of bed, he thought angrily. First Devin had walked away for no reason at all, then one of the men he'd hooked up with had stiffed him, daring him to do anything about it. He scrubbed his 5

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hand across his eyes as he pushed off the wall. One good, strong drink and he'd be out of there. When he arrived at the bar he found a whiskey on the rocks sitting in front of him. "I could tell you needed this," the tender said when Vanni cocked his eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah, I do." He tossed back half of it before he set the glass down. "Vanni, when are you going to give up this life and let me take care of you?" "Hell Mitch, how 'bout yesterday," Vanni retorted with a chuckle. It was a running joke with them since Mitch was about as straight as they came with a wife and two kids at home. "I'll dump Beth and we'll run away to LA." "As in the city or the state?" Mitch laughed. "Does it matter?" "Naw, not really." Vanni finished his drink, his mood darkening again despite their joking. He dropped some cash on the bar and stood to take one last look around. The man who'd stiffed him a couple of hours earlier was on his way out the door, his arm around a twink who looked all of eighteen at best. "Good luck, kid," Vanni muttered. Two minutes later he left too, but out the back door. Once in his car he debated what to do next. He could 6

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just go home and crash, that would be the smart move, but he was still too juiced up and pissed off. There was one cure for that so he pulled out of the lot and drove as fast as the law allowed until he reached the highway heading north. Not too much later he swerved off the highway into a small parking lot. After he'd checked himself in the rearview mirror to make certain his mood didn't show on his face he snagged the blunt he'd rolled earlier from its hiding place and stepped out of the car. "Fun time," he murmured under his breath as he lit the blunt and headed to his destination.

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CHAPTER TWO "Robbins, the lieutenant wants you in his office, now," one of the detectives called out as soon as Hollis walked into the squad room. Hollis sighed, veered left, and rapped on Richter's door. When the lieutenant hollered for him to come in he did. "We've got another one, found about an hour ago." Richter slid a slip of paper with the location across the desk to Hollis. "Why didn't someone call me?" Hollis grumbled as he memorized it. "Someone did, several times, you didn't answer your phone." Hollis pulled it out of his pocket and winced. He'd forgotten to turn it back on after he left the theater. But then it had been his day off and his mind had been on other things at that point. He saluted halfheartedly and left. The second he was out of the office he pointed to his partner, Abbie 'No I'm not the singer' Lincoln, and jerked a thumb toward the exit. She grabbed her jacket and followed, asking what was up. "Our killer's struck again. This time the vic's missing an arm."

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"Where?" "From where it was attached to his shoulder," Hollis replied with a straight face. Abbie snorted, smacked his arm, and said, "Where was the body found this time, you jerk!" As he opened the door to the garage, he told her. "Same general locale, just deeper into the woods." "If we didn't know better I'd think it was a feral wolf or dog." "Wolves don't use knives to cut throats or sever limbs or remove hearts." "No kidding." She slid in to ride shotgun while he took the driver's seat. They arrived at the site fifteen minutes later to find the CSI leader waiting impatiently with his team. The body, what was left of it, was lying face-down on the dirt between two tall trees. After donning booties and gloves Hollis walked around it, careful not to disturb the surroundings any more than they already were while Abbie went to talk to a man and a teenaged boy who stood beside a patrol car. Hollis could hear her talking to them as he worked. "We come outta the trees," the man said when she asked, "and there he was. At first I thought he might just be, you know, sunbathing or something considering he wasn't dressed then I saw that he was missin' an arm so I 9

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called you all real quick." "You didn't see or hear anything?" Abbie inquired, taking notes. "Nope, not a sound." Hollis heard her ask the teen as well. The kid replied, "No," in a shaky voice. Once Hollis finished his examination of the corpse he had the CSI team turn it over. Just as he expected there was a deep hole in its chest. The leader of the team confirmed moments later that the victim's heart was missing. Hollis's mouth tightened as he set two of the officers who'd arrived when he had to searching the surrounding area. Then he went over to where Abbie now stood by their car so he could get the details of what the witnesses had seen. "From a first look I'd say the victim wasn't killed here. Not enough blood. It's just like the other ones," Hollis added. "Which means somewhere around here we should find the leg from the last victim." "I've put two men to looking. Whoever's doing this is moving further into the forest each time but with no pattern, at least so far." "If this victim is like the others there's at least a pattern to whom he chooses," Abbie pointed out. "Gay 10

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males." "Gay males into the club scene, and we've yet to find the first victim." "Maybe our killer decided after the first one that he wanted to show off rather than hide his kills. You don't make the headlines if no one knows you're doing it." "Hell, maybe he ate the whole body, as far as that goes," Hollis said, "and then got hungry for more human flesh, went hunting again and realized how easy it was to find 'dinner' by staking out the clubs." Abbie frowned. "There would still be bones to dispose of from the first one." Hollis was about to reply when one of the officers he'd put on the search called out from deep in the trees, "I think I found it." Hollis, Abbie and one of the CSI team immediately headed in his direction. They found the officer staring down at a femur that had been stripped of flesh. Several feet away they could see the rest of the leg bones with residual flesh still clinging to them. "No sign of the foot though," the officer said. "As small as foot bones are he could easily have disposed of them in any dumpster, especially one belonging to a restaurant. Anyone seeing them would just think they were more chicken bones," the CSI investigator pointed 11

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out. Hollis nodded in agreement. "Sort of what your people figured from what was left of an arm at the first kill." The CSI man went back to get another team member while Hollis and Abbie returned to their car. Abbie veered off long enough to tell the father and son they were free to leave. When she got back they decided there was nothing more they could do there and headed back to the station house.

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CHAPTER THREE Gary woke with a start and for a moment he wondered where he was. Then he remembered. He had been watching a heron by the edge of the river and dozed off. Except, he realized, he'd more than dozed off. The sun had already come up. He glanced at his watch and winced, it was seven in the morning and he was due at work in two hours. He stood, stretched, and wished he had some water handy, both to drink because his mouth tasted awful, and to wash the dirt off his hands. Hell, to wash it off of everything, he thought when he looked down at his clothes. Sleeping by the riverbank is not conducive to staying clean. He stretched again and massaged his shoulders, which ached from how he'd been sleeping. Then he hurried back to his car to head home. Fifteen minutes later he had stripped off his clothes, tossed them in the hamper and stepped into a steaming hot shower. He turned his face up under the water to take a mouthful, rinsed, spit it out, and felt better now that his mouth didn't taste like the bottom of a birdcage. When he began to wash, his thoughts went immediately to Devin and the times they'd shared showers together, back when things had been good between them. From there his thoughts spun

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off to how his lover, well now ex-lover, had changed so drastically in the last month. "If you'd only talked to me about what's going on with you," he murmured disconsolately. But that apparently had not been an option as far as Devin was concerned. Instead he had seemed, in his own way, to have done all he could to push Gary away. With a sigh Gary picked up the shampoo and lathered his hair. When he rinsed the soap out he frowned. The water that ran down the drain had a slightly red tinge to it. He felt his scalp to see if he'd cut it somehow, perhaps on a sharp rock while he'd slept on the riverbank. He winced when his fingers touched a sore spot. Guess I did. He ran his hand over a bruise he'd discovered on his upper arm as well. Next time, no dozing off, he admonished himself. Those stones play hell when you sleep on them. With that thought he finished rinsing off, stepped out of the shower, and dried himself. After he'd brushed his teeth and shaved, he went to get dressed. One look at the time told him that he'd better pick up something to eat on his way into work, not fix something here. Not that he was terribly hungry he realized, but he knew better than to skip breakfast if he wanted to put in a productive day at the office. With that thought in mind he grabbed his jacket, 14

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checked his pockets to make certain he had everything, and left the apartment. **** Devin looked down at the bruises on his chest and tried to remember how the hell he'd gotten them. He recalled storming out of the club rather than remain there while he wished Vanni was Gary. Or on the other hand, wished that he had enough nerve to take Vanni up on what he was obviously offering despite the fact that he knew it would be wrong. Besides, he knew how Vanni made extra spending money. Vanni always claimed that he practiced safe sex but Devin was not willing to take his words as gospel. After he'd left the club he'd just walked for a long time while he tried to dispel the need he felt. When that hadn't worked he'd stopped at several bars where he'd drunk enough that he should have gotten wasted. All it did was make him sadder and angry. That was it, he thought. He was so angry that he'd tried to pick a fight with a man outside of one of the bars. At least that's how he remembered it. It was all sort of hazy. I hope I won. He looked at his hands and had to wonder. They didn't look as if he'd used them in a fight 15

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except for a couple of scratches across the back. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment longer, taking in his lean body, short brown hair and light blue eyes that had a tendency to darken when he was upset. At six-one he had been able to look directly into Gary's hazel eyes and read the emotions that played in them; emotions that for the last month had often verged on disappointment or outright dislike. What did I do to deserve it? Devin wondered once again. Yeah, I was a bit up and down emotionally and with good reason, but Gary thought it was because of the job. He knew with the economy I was holding on to it by the skin of my teeth. So I got a bit grumpy; he could have been more supportive. Although he knew he'd been more than grumpy if the truth be told. He'd sometimes flown into rages and stormed away, whether they were at his place or Gary's. Stormed off to get so drunk he'd woken up the next morning wondering how the hell he'd managed to get home. On top of that there were the times when he'd called Gary after a fight or argument to apologize for what he'd said or done only to have Gary completely ignore the call and let it got to voicemail. It's better this way. Maybe we really weren't meant 16

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to be together for the long haul. With that thought he finished dressing, collected what he needed, and took off for work. **** Vanni woke with a blinding headache and peered around through barely opened eyes. "Now where the hell did I end up," he growled under his breath. Apparently, from what he could see, in someone else's bed in an apartment he didn't recognize. He sat up carefully then clutched his head in both hands. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he spat out. His head felt like it would explode. He took a few deep breaths, lifted his head and zeroed in on a door he hoped led to a bathroom and aspirin or something stronger. Once he staggered into it and relieved his bursting bladder he opened the medicine cabinet. "Bingo," he said when he saw a row of pill bottles on the middle shelf. He checked them out and took two pills from the one with a label that claimed it would cure any pain. He swallowed them, cupped a hand under the tap to get water to wash them down then waited for them to kick in. As he leaned against the sink he tried to piece together how he'd ended up where he was and who the hell 17

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the apartment belonged to. He remembered going to the small out-of-the-way bar outside of the city. He often went there because the guys who hung out there had money and desire to keep their sexual proclivities hidden from the rest of the world. It wasn't a true BDSM place but there was a playroom in the basement for those who got off on the sub/Dom scene. After smoking the blunt to relax he'd gone inside. He was known there as someone willing to sub for a price. He remembered one man, who stood well shy of Vanni's six-foot-two inches, coming on to him. The guy had the funds and Vanni had the time. When they went downstairs the man had proved he knew what was what despite, or perhaps because of, his small stature. Once they were finished the man had suggested they go outside with their beers and have a smoke. That was when things got blurry. In point of fact, from the time they both lit up Vanni couldn't remember a thing. "He drugged me," Vanni growled angrily. That would explain the headache, and these as well, he thought as he looked in the mirror and saw the bruises on his torso. "Drugged me and got me to come here with him. But who is he?" He splashed water on his face, found some toothpaste and finger-brushed his teeth, then went in search 18

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of his clothes and any information he could find on who owned the apartment. His clothes were in a pile on the floor by the bed so he dressed first then started looking around. Whoever the place belonged to apparently didn't keep personal information out where it could be found. There was a desk with locked drawers. Though he was tempted to pry them open, Vanni decided it wasn't worth the hassle or the chance that the man knew who he was and would call the cops when he found out he'd done that. That brought up the fact that the man was nowhere around. Might be another reason things are locked up, so I wouldn't steal anything. He decided it was time to leave at that point after checking to be sure his wallet and keys were still in his pocket. When he got outside the building it suddenly occurred to him that the last he'd seen of his car it was at the bar. He cursed then smiled slightly when he spotted it parked at the side of the building. Guess that's how we got here, he thought as he walked down to it. He unlocked the door then slid into the driver's seat, adjusted it back to where it should be, put the key in the ignition and took off.

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CHAPTER FOUR "What do we know so far?" Lieutenant Richter asked once Hollis and Abbie had taken seats across his desk from him. "On this victim, nothing yet. The CSI team has the body plus the remains of a leg found on the scene. The vic was nude, just like the others, and this one was missing an arm as well as his heart," Hollis replied. "He was found by a father and son out hunting," Abbie added. "They said they didn't see or hear anyone in the area at the time." The lieutenant nodded as he checked the case file before he handed it over to Hollis. "Three victims now that we know of." "Presumptively four since an unidentified forearm was found with the first known victim. We were thinking the perpetrator may have decided to go public for the publicity so to speak." "Possible," Richter said. "Or something interrupted him while he was in the midst of killing the first one we found and he had to flee the scene and leave the body behind." Abbie shook her head. "That doesn't explain the

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forearm being there." "Exactly," Hollis tapped his fingers on the case file. "So we have two males known to frequent gay clubs and possibly a third with the newest victim, unless our killer has changed how he finds them. So far we haven't been able to link either of the victims to a specific club at the time of their disappearance. However both seem to have been taken on weekends so no one was aware they weren't around until they didn't show up for work on Monday. Both of them lived alone and had no significant others in their lives." "Trace evidence?" Richter said. "None that links them together. It's the method of killing that does that. All three had their throats slit, their hearts cut out and one limb severed at the joint, which is not an easy thing to do, according to the ME. He likened it to carving up a Thanksgiving turkey only on a larger scale." Richter nodded then said, "Which brings us to the question of what happened to the missing flesh since it was stripped from the bones. Is this some sort of ritual thing going on here or do we have a cannibal on the loose?" "Well the ME says he doesn't gnaw the flesh off," Abbie replied. "He says there are scrapes on the bones indicating he cuts it off. So," she smiled slightly, "the comparison to a turkey dinner ends there." 21

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"If he is cannibalizing the heart and limb does he take them home with him or just go off deeper in the woods to eat?" Richter wondered aloud. "I'd say, since he leaves the stripped limb by the next victim, he must take them back somewhere. Home or, well who knows where, but somewhere where he can eat without being seen then store the bones from the limb until he needs to kill again." "Have you talked to anyone who's an expert on cannibalism?" "That's next on my agenda," Hollis replied. "I have an appointment with a psychiatrist friend in," he checked his watch, "about an hour actually." "Well get moving then," Richter ordered. "The more we know about who we're looking for the better. Abbie can finish filling me in." **** "Cannibalism. An interesting topic about which there's much controversy," Dr Wainwright said as she tapped her fingers together. "In some societies it has religious significance, in the Western world it's looked upon with abhorrence despite the fact that in many Western religions it's practiced metaphorically every Sunday when 22

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parishioners take communion." "Can't say I ever looked at it that way but I guess you're right. But going back to people who eat real flesh, is there any psychological reasoning behind it, as compared to someone practicing some religious ritual?" "One theory, and I'm saying theory because so far there's no solid data to back it up, is that it's the result of separation trauma when a child is weaned. The child then fantasizes about devouring the mother. Some extreme trauma in adulthood could cause the individual to regress back to childhood to seek the fulfillment he's been denied by resorting to cannibalism." "Okay," Hollis said doubtfully, which caused Dr Wainwright to smile. "Another theory that is somewhat correlatively connected is that cannibalism is a psychological response to anger and frustration which is then expressed through oral aggression. There is a literal desire to absorb a person through consuming them, especially if the perceived enemy threatens the strength of the individual." "I did a bit of research on my own on recent…" Hollis frowned, "cannibalistic killers. Dahmer of course comes to mind but there are others. A rapper high on PCP murdered then partially ate his victim. A man traveling on a cross country bus stabbed his seatmate, decapitated him, 23

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severed some of his parts and began to eat them." Dr Wainwright nodded. "There's another case in which a man made a bet with a friend concerning their eating flesh. The friend, high on painkillers and liquor agreed to let the other man cut his penis off. The cutter flambéed it and they both ate it. The victim was of course bleeding heavily and went to take a bath. He bled out and died and his friend proceeded to eat strips of his flesh. Over the next few months he ate forty-four pounds of his friend's dead body." "None of those seem to fit into the psychological reasons you talked about," Hollis said. "It would be hard to tell if they did or not as no psychological profiles were worked up on them that I'm aware of." Hollis sighed. "I was hoping there was something that would scream 'cannibal' if we find any men to interview in relation to these killings. I know that doesn't often happen but sometimes the correct words can trigger a response. Unfortunately I don't think I can ask a suspect 'Did you dream of eating your mother when she took you off breastfeeding?'." "No," the psychiatrist replied with a chuckle, "I suspect it would probably get you in a world of trouble with his lawyer if nothing else." 24

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"So any suggestions at all how I should precede?" "Quite honestly, no, not in terms of how to handle an interview unless the interviewee does in fact think they are practicing some sort of religious ritual. That could explain the missing hearts. Even then I doubt that they would admit it. From what you told me they seem to be careful to strip the flesh from the bones rather than chewing it off. That says to me they're aware enough that they know what they're doing is wrong. And," she added, "that they know saliva could be used against them if they're caught." "Why take a limb from the body, eat the flesh if that is what he's doing and leave it with the next victim? Is there any validity to our thought that he's 'showing off' that he can do it and not get caught?" "I'm sorry to say but at this point, with what little you've been able to discover, anything is possible, even that." "Figured," Hollis said as he stood up. "Thank you for your time and your help." "What little I could give you. If you get any closer to the killer or something new happens call me. I'll be glad to let you know if it adds anything to your profile of the killer's reasoning for what he's doing."

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CHAPTER FIVE "Mr Morris, if you would please pay attention," Devin's boss said somewhat acerbically. "Sorry, sir." Devin drew his attention back to the meeting. The last thing he needed was to lose his job at this point. That would really put a topper on things. He had been thinking, before his boss made his comment, about what to do after work since it was Friday night. He was damned if he was going to stay home and curl up with a book and a beer. That smacked of feeling sorry for himself. On the other hand he wasn't all that certain he wanted to hit the clubs. Gary could be at any one of them and after last weekend he wasn't willing to face him again. The meeting seemed to drone on forever but eventually his boss called it finished. Everyone beat a hasty retreat from the room, Devin included. When his boss called his name he was tempted to pretend he hadn't heard him but thought better of that idea. So he waited and endured a short, terse lecture about the fact that he was "walking a very fine line between keeping and losing his job as layoffs were in the offing". He kept his eyes lowered and nodded in the appropriate places until finally his boss let him leave.

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By the time he left the office building he'd worked himself into a state where he was both scared and thoroughly pissed off. He headed home, tore off his business suit and stared at the clothes in his closet. Clubbing or running? he thought before he eventually settled on jeans and a tight t-shirt. He put on his running shoes then took out a button-down shirt that he slung over his shoulder while picking up a pair of regular shoes to take with him. Those were just in case after his run he was still upset enough that he would need to work it off at a club. Fifteen minutes later he got out of his car by the entrance to the city's largest park. The sun was low on the horizon but he knew the park was lit well enough after dark he could still run if he stayed on the paths. After he'd done his stretches he took off at an easy lope that soon became an all-out race as his tried to escape his thoughts. Thoughts that flew between how unfair it was that Gary had dumped him to how much he hated his job even though he was afraid he might lose it. He didn't know how long he ran, only that when he finally pulled to a stop he was bathed in sweat and his legs ached. He bent, hands on knees as he gasped for air. "You all right there?" someone asked. Devin looked up into gray eyes that were filled with a combination of concern and a bit of amusement. He 27

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straightened and nodded in reply. "Just overdid it but I'll be fine, thanks." "Okay, just checking." The man smiled then jogged away down the path. Devin watched him, especially his nice tight ass, then shook his head. Mind out of the gutter, he chastised himself, If it's going in that direction I might as well hit up a club and dance 'til I drop with some gorgeous man or three, and Gary be damned if he's there too. **** "Didn't know you hung out here." Gary turned slowly to look at Vanni. "Why shouldn't I? Is this your private stomping ground? No one allowed unless they pay your 'cover charge'?" Gary's lip curled up in a sneer. "Look, bitch, you might be able to get away with talking to Devin like that but I'm not him." "Bitch?" Gary growled. "If the shoe fits," Vanni told him with a smirk of amused condescension. "I don't know who the hell you think you are but…" "I'm the one who's watched you push Devin to the brink then walk away. He was a good man 'til you got your 28

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hands on him." "He still is a good man when he's not… when he gets control of his anger. If he gets control of it." Vanni rested one foot on the rung of the barstool as he rolled a bottle of beer between his hands. "So what are you doing that makes him angry? Not putting out? Putting out to other men too?" "It always comes down to sex with you, doesn't it, Giovanni?" Gary used his full name when he replied because he knew Vanni hated it. "It's what makes the world go 'round they say." Vanni's brown eyes flashed dark with ire as he took a deep drink and set the bottle down on the bar. "No wait, it's love that does that but you wouldn't know since you don't love him, at least not the way you should." "What the hell do you know about my feelings?" "Like I said, I've watched you with him." Gary shook his head. "No, you've watched him with me and there's a difference. We come to the clubs because they're the only thing that seems to relieve his stress. We come, we dance, and if I'm lucky we go home together and maybe fu… make love." "You're first choice was probably the more accurate one. You fuck him then you go home and leave him wanting more." 29

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"When the hell did you become an expert in love?" Gary glared daggers at Vanni. "You wouldn't know it if it came up and introduced itself to you, Mr Fucking Sex Machine, down on your knees half your life in some filthy john." The next thing Gary knew he was on his ass on the floor. He looked up at Vanni in shock while he rubbed his jaw. "Hit to close to home there… Giovanni?" Vanni fisted his hands again then shook his head. "You aren't worth a trip to jail," he snarled. He turned quickly, strode to the door of the club, and vanished through it onto the sidewalk. **** Devin stripped off his t-shirt after he got into his car, used it to wipe as much sweat from his face and torso as he could, then put on the button-down he'd brought with him. After he changed his shoes and ran a hand through his short brown hair in hopes it would behave for once, he took off. He didn't know which club he'd end up at, he just knew he would. When he got to the heart of the city he drove slowly through the district that held most of the gay clubs and businesses. Since it was Friday night there were of course no open parking spots on the street. That pretty much 30

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meant he'd have to use one of the clubs' parking lots. He veered left into the first one he saw, found a space and parked. As he headed from the car back to the sidewalk he saw a familiar figure striding down the street and called out to him. "Well speak of the devil." Vanni smiled as he came over. Devin cocked an eyebrow. "Why am I the devil?" "In my book you aren't, but someone else seems to think you are." "Gary," Devin muttered. "One and the same. If you're looking for him, he's back there." Vanni thumbed toward one of the clubs. "Definitely not looking for him so thanks for the warning." "So you were looking for me?" Vanni grinned impishly. "No, but you'll do." Vanni clutched his chest. "Now I think I'm hurt." "I didn't know that was possible." "Devin," Vanni said, now looking honestly hurt, "I really do have feelings, contrary to what everyone seems to think." "I know. Sorry. Look, do you feel like going…" Devin looked around then pointed to a club across the 31

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street, "there and dancing and getting totally wasted?" "If you mean with you, sure. If you're just suggesting I go there so I leave you alone then no, I'll pass." Devin started to say something nasty in reply, took a deep breath and slung his arm around Vanni's shoulders. "Then let's do it." **** "You're not driving," Vanni said three hours later as he and Devin left the club. "No, you're not driving. You can hardly walk straight," Devin retorted. "That's 'cause I ain't straight." Vanni found that so funny he doubled over with laughter. Devin snorted, then giggled, then leaned against Vanni

to

stay

upright.

"We

should…

should…

something…" Vanni straightened then put an arm around Devin. "Coffee, sex, sex, coffee?" "Yeah, both maybe, coffee first," Devin agreed. "There." He pointed to an open diner at the end of the block. They started down the street then Devin stopped 32

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dead. "Car." "Lots of them," Vanni agreed as he watched a few drive down the street. "No silly man. My car. Be right back. Don't move. Don't leave." Devin grinned inanely, eased Vanni's arm from around him, and very carefully made his way across the street to the parking lot. When he got to his car he leaned against it while he tried to remember why he wanted to be there. Then it hit him. "Condoms," he muttered. "Need…" He unlocked the door, opened it then rifled through the glove compartment to take some from the box tucked under the maps and junk. A minute later he was on his way back to the street. "Fuck and double fuck," he spat out when he saw Gary cross his line of vision a few yards away in the company of another man. He made it back to where he'd left Vanni who now leaned precariously against the railing that surrounded the patio of one of the clubs. "'Bout time," Vanni mumbled. Devin swore under his breath as he helped him stand straight. "Not my fault. Your idea." Vanni said in justification as he staggered forward. With a scowl on his face, Devin caught him before 33

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he fell. "Gary never…" "Fuck Gary. No, fuck me. Fuck… hell. Everything." Vanni grabbed the end of the railing, bent over it and lost all the liquor he'd drunk in the last few hours, much to the disgust of a waiter who stood a few feet away. "Nice," Devin growled. He put one arm around Vanni's waist while he snagged a napkin from the closest vacant table. "Wipe your mouth." Vanni did, with a mumbled "Sorry 'bout that," as he leaned against Devin. "Yeah." Devin checked the street, saw a passing cab and flagged it down. When it pulled over Devin opened the back door and practically shoved Vanni inside. The cabbie started to protest until Devin dug some cash out of his pocket to hand him and told him Vanni was empty now and so wouldn't be puking in the backseat. "Yeah, let's hope." The cabbie looked at Vanni to ask, "Where to, buddy?" The last thing Devin heard as he closed the cab door was Vanni giving the cabbie his address in a very slurred voice.

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CHAPTER SIX "We have another one," were the first words Hollis heard when he answered his phone. "And this time it's different. The body didn't make it out of the city," Richter continued. "Where?" Hollis asked as he rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He tucked the phone between his ear and his shoulder while he took a piss and listened. "Damn, I was just there earlier tonight," he said when the lieutenant told him the address. "Yeah, on my way," he replied seconds later. He washed up, dressed quickly, slid his gun into its holster, made certain he had everything else he needed and headed out. When he arrived at the park he saw the CSI van pull up and pulled up beside it. As he and the others entered the park he spotted lights halfway across it and an officer wrapping crime scene tape around a tree trunk as he set up the perimeter to keep onlookers out. "What do we have, as if I didn't know?" Hollis asked when he joined two other officers. One of the officers pointed to a spot in a small copse of trees a few yards away. "A vagrant found it. Ran

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out into the street, stopped a car by dint of not moving when it approached and told the driver to call us." "You got him or did he vanish after that?" "Surprisingly he stuck around. He's over there with Abbie." Hollis glanced over, giving Abbie a salute when she saw him, and followed the CSI team over to the body. Like all the others it was face down on the ground, naked, and missing a limb, an arm again. He paced around it as he studied it then widened his circle to look for any bones from the arm of the last victim. When he didn't find any close by he set two of the officers off to do a broader search. By the time he returned to the body the CSI people had taken pictures and were carefully turning the body over. One of them handed him booties and gloves and once he put them on he went over to look down at the victim. "The heart's been taken," one of the CSI people said. Hollis resisted replying "No duh" as he stared at the open wound in the chest. "We may have gotten lucky this time," Abbie said as she joined them. "The man who found the body saw someone leaving the area. He didn't have much of a description to give us other than the man was about six foot and was wearing tight jeans and a blue shirt." 36

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"Hair color?" "He said he couldn't tell but he thought the guy was youngish. 'Just a kid' is the way he put it, but then he admits to being over sixty and nearsighted." "Not much of a description," Hollis muttered. "True except for one thing, he says he swears the man had claws and he was carrying a club." "Well the club was probably the missing arm wrapped in something and the claws could have just been gloves. I'm surprised he didn't say he had fangs and was a werewolf." Abbie chuckled. "No, he didn't go that far and you're probably right, though I don't know that gloves would look like claws." "Is he sober?" Abbie waggled her hand, "More or less. He's not falling down drunk but I could smell cheap wine on his breath." "Detectives," one of the CSI team called out, waving for them to join him. When they did, he said, "He was killed here." He explained how they knew and Hollis nodded. "Our killer is definitely changing his routine," Abbie commented. "Yeah, which makes me wonder why. Did he get 37

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stopped before he could move the body, did he want to make sure it made the papers, or what?" "Speaking of…" Abbie pointed to a man who had approached the perimeter of the crime scene with a cameraman dogging his heels. "Oh hell," Hollis muttered. Then he sighed in relief when he saw Lieutenant Richter appear and immediately go to talk to the reporter. "This is going to become a real circus now that a body's been left in the city proper." "No shit," Abbie agreed as they went back to the business at hand.

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CHAPTER SEVEN Devin woke with a first class hangover to deal with. After he popped some painkillers and started the coffeemaker he headed to the shower. As he passed the mirror he noticed a deep bruise on one hip and frowned. He knew he'd drunk more than his fair share last night, and danced hard with Vanni and a couple of other men, but still… "You'd think I'd remember hitting myself on something," he muttered as he touched the bruise and winced. "A table corner or something." He shook his head, not a good thing to do since it felt as if it was going to explode, and turned the shower on full force once he'd stepped into the tub and closed the curtains. Twenty minutes later he swore as the water began to turn icy, stepped out and dried off. After putting on a pair of worn jeans he stopped long enough to flick on the TV as he went to the kitchen to pour some coffee. He came back to the living room just in time to hear a reporter say there had been another of what the news people had dubbed 'The Heartless Murders'. Cup in hand he stood in front of the TV to watch. Hell, I was right there last evening, he thought. So

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was he, was his next thought when he saw a man he recognized in the background behind the police officer the reporter was interviewing. It took him a moment to realize the man in question was also a cop. "Damned good thing I didn't come on to him," he told himself with a chuckle. "I'd be sitting in jail for solicitation right now." When he'd finished watching the news he turned off the TV, put on some music and began cleaning up the apartment. The way he was feeling, that was about all he was up for at the moment. Maybe when he was finished he'd consider making something to eat, or better yet go out to his favorite little breakfast place instead. **** Halfway across town Vanni was wondering what the hell he'd done to deserve feeling the way he did. Everything ached, his head most of all, and he was so thirsty he could have drunk a gallon of water if he'd had a container to put it in. Eventually he got up the energy to get out of bed and stagger in to take a shower. When he'd finished and managed to get at least partially dressed he went to check the contents of his fridge. There was half a six-pack of beer, bread, cheese and a couple of bottles of some energy 40

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drink. He opened one of the bottles, drank the contents in a few gulps then made a sandwich. With that in one hand and a beer in the other he plopped down on the sofa and turned on the television. The noon news had just started with a lead story about the 'Heartless Murders'. He listened with half an ear to that and the rest of the news, only paying attention when the baseball scores came on. He smiled slightly when a team he'd bet on with a bartender at one of the clubs came up the winner in last night's game. Now if he could remember which bar it had been he'd be a little richer. When the news was over he got up, stuck in a movie, and settled down to watch it after he got another beer. **** Gary glanced around his empty apartment and sighed. It was Saturday afternoon, he should be out and about doing grocery shopping and stopping at the cleaners to drop off his shirts and pick up the ones he'd left there last week. Somehow though the whole idea of the same old same old weekend chores did not appeal at the moment; not when there was no one to share them with. He and Devin had made it a habit to meet for brunch on Saturday then do 41

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their running around together, back when they had been more or less living in each other's pockets if not in each other's apartments. He shoved the thoughts of Devin back into the dark recesses of his mind where they belonged now. Instead he pictured the man he'd left the club with last night. They had done nothing more than walk and talk for a while before they'd split up with mutual promises to call each other. That reminded him to dig the guy's phone number out of the pocket of his jeans before he tossed them into the washer, another chore that needed to be done. He found it, well wrinkled, and tossed it on his dresser for the time being. Deciding if he didn't get something done he'd regret it come tomorrow, Gary grabbed his wallet and keys off the dresser, put the shirts that needed to go to the cleaners into a bag and headed off to run his errands. Two hours and a full grocery cart later he stood in the checkout line. While he waited for his turn he picked up a copy of the newspaper that the stock boy had just set on the rack. The headline had to do with the latest murder. Not being the least bit interested in it he was about to turn to the entertainment page in hopes there was a movie worth going to when the second line under the headline caught his attention. It stated that the police had determined all four victims had been gay men. He instantly began reading the story, shivering when 42

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he found out that all of them had possibly been at gay clubs before they had been killed. He turned the page to finish reading and froze. There were pictures of all four victims and one of them he knew, or had at least met, the man whose phone number now sat on top of his dresser. The caption under the picture asked that anyone who knew the man contact the police. "Sir," he heard someone say and he realized he'd reached the front of the line. He put his purchases on the conveyer belt, paid for them when they'd been rung up and quickly left the store. He practically threw the bags into the trunk of his car then went straight home. Once he had everything in the kitchen he began putting things away at the same time that he dialed the police. Once he'd stated his business he was transferred twice until he finally reached a man who said he was the detective in charge of the case.

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CHAPTER EIGHT "You're certain, sir?" Hollis said as he smoothed out the slip of paper Gary had given him. "Pretty much so, yes. It definitely looks like what I remember of him," Gary replied. He was sitting across the desk from Hollis, nervously drumming his fingers on the arms of the chair. "What time was it when the two of you went your separate ways?" "Umm, I'd say maybe a bit after midnight. He, we, decided to call each other, you know how that goes. Trade numbers then decide the next day if you're really going to call or not." Hollis nodded. "You'd been to the clubs, how much did you have to drink?" Gray tried to smile as he asked, "If I tell you can you arrest me for DUI, not that I had that much but still…?" "Nope. I just need to know if he," Hollis glanced down at his notes, "if Monte was so drunk that he might have gone back to the club or let someone else pick him up once you were gone." "He wasn't feeling any pain, but he said he was

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going right home because he had things to do today and had to sleep off what he'd drunk." "He never told you his last name? Not that it matters since we have a phone number now." "He didn't. Oh, he did say something though. He's, he was, new in town. He said he'd only been here a week." "Did he mention if he had an apartment yet?" Gary shook his head. "He didn't and I didn't ask since I had no intention of going home with him, or vice versa. He seemed like a nice guy but, well you know." "You weren't about to go off with a stranger 'til you knew more about him." "Yeah. And for sure I won't be now. Is it true all the victims were gay?" "Yes, and possibly picked up while they were at a club, or going to or from one." Hollis paused to answer the phone on his desk when it rang. He listened then told the caller to send the man up. When he finished he told Gary, "It looks like someone else saw the victim last night. Do you have any other information for me?" "No, sir." "Then I'll let you go for now." Hollis handed him a card. "If you think of anything more, anything at all, please call me." After Gary pocketed it, Hollis got up and opened the office door for him as he thanked him for coming in. 45

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Gary nodded then stepped into the squad room and stopped, looking shocked. "What the hell are you doing here?" Devin looked equally surprised for a second then replied, "Probably the same thing you are, only I was just going to give the cop your name as the last person to see the man who was murdered." Then he looked past Gary and smiled. "We meet again." Hollis frowned as he tried to figure out where he'd seen the man, then remembered. "You were at the park last night." "Yes, dying from lack of oxygen," Devin admitted with a small chuckle. "Running away from your troubles?" Gary asked snarkily. "I take it you two know each other." Not taking his eyes off Devin, Gary said, "We used to." Hollis cocked an eyebrow but refrained from saying more other than to thank Gary again for coming in before he ushered Devin into the small office. "So," he said once Devin was seated and he had gotten his particulars, "what do you know about the murder victim?" "Honestly, nothing other than the fact that I saw his picture on the TV and thought I'd seen him with Gary last 46

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night but I guess you know that now." "What time was that?" Devin frowned. "Good question. Vanni and I were pretty damned wasted by the time we left the club. I'd guess probably a bit after midnight but don't hold me to that." "Vanni is who?" "Giovanni Breda, a friend. We ran into each other and, well, I was pissed, he was there, I asked if he wanted to dance and get drunk with me, he did, so we did." "Did he see the victim too?" "Quite honestly I doubt he saw much of anything at that point, well not clearly. I may have had a few too many, he was totally zonked. I shoved him in a cab and sent him home." "I'd still like his address and a phone number if you have it," Hollis told him. After Devin wrote it down for him Hollis gave him the usual 'call me if you remember anything else' speech and thanked him for coming in. Then as an afterthought he asked how Devin knew Gary. A flash of pain crossed Devin's face, gone almost before Hollis saw it. "We were together for about three years then decided to call it quits and move on. You know how that goes." Hollis gave him a slight smile and a short nod. "Been there a time or two, yes." 47

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"Fun, isn't it?" Devin commented as he got up. "Not really, but it is life, I suppose. Again thank you for coming in." "Sure, no problem." **** "Anything?" Abbie asked when she came into the office after Devin left. "A phone number and first name for our victim, and the name and number of someone who probably didn't see anything but I need to follow up on anyway. You want to check this out?" Hollis handed her the slip of paper he'd gotten from Gary. She said she would and left the office. He followed moments later, on his way to pay Mr Breda a visit after he'd called to let him know he was on his way. The man had seemed surprised but hadn't protested. The apartment building where Breda lived was in a marginally decent neighborhood, one on its way up from slum to popular with the younger gay population of the city. Hollis wondered if Breda had lived there before the transformation had begun. Once he was buzzed in he took the elevator up to the fourth floor. As he got off he saw a well-built man who 48

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looked to be about his age standing in an open doorway halfway down the hall. The man nodded and when Hollis reached him asked to see some ID. Hollis showed him his badge and the man introduced himself, adding, "You can call me Vanni, I hate my full name." "That works, Vanni. Mind if I come in or do you want to do this standing in the hall?" Vanni laughed and stepped aside. When he got inside Hollis looked around in appreciation. The apartment wasn't large from what he could see but it was airy and with only minimalistic furnishings the living room seemed bigger than it was. Vanni asked if he wanted coffee, but Hollis declined. Once they were seated, Hollis on a steel and black leather sofa, Vanni on a matching chair, Hollis explained in more detail why he was there. "To be honest, I was pretty damned wasted," Vanni told him. "I did talk to Gary earlier in the evening but he was alone at that point." Hollis took a picture of the victim from his jacket pocket and handed it to Vanni. "Did you happen to see this man at the club where you ran into Mr Hunt?" Vanni studied it and shook his head. "I didn't but I think, maybe I saw him Thursday night when I was there. He was alone and pretty obviously looking for company although I got the feeling he just wanted to dance, nothing 49

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more. That is if it's the same guy." "From what Mr Hunt told us that would fit. He and the victim exchanged phone numbers but that was all." With a snort of derision Vanni said, "Yeah right, believe that and I've got a bridge I can sell you cheap." "Not a big fan of Mr Hunt's, I take it." "Not after what he did to Devin, walking out on him." "Devin made it sound as if it was a mutual decision." "I so don't think so, but it's none of my business. All I'm saying is I'd give you good odds Gary exchanged more than phone numbers with your victim." "If he did, he did it fast. According to both him and Devin he left the club with the victim between midnight and twelve thirty. The body was found around three thirty." "I… yeah, okay, then maybe he's telling the truth." Vanni smiled sardonically. "True. So, is there anything else you can think of that might help me?" Vanni started to say something then laughed. "That was a pretty open-ended question detective. If we were at a club together I might take it the wrong way." Hollis shook his head. "Since I don't hang out at clubs, that's hardly going to happen." 50

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"None at all? You don't take your lady friends, or friend, dancing?" "That's not my scene, and why the hell are we talking about this?" Vanni leaned back, hands behind his head and a grin on his face. "Because?" Hollis arched an eyebrow as he stood up. "Because you like pushing to see what kind of reaction you'll get. Just like me, only I do it as part of the job. I suspect you do it for fun." He took out his card and handed it to Vanni. "If you think of anything else…" "I should call you immediately. God, how cliché television." "Still the truth," Hollis told him with a chuckle. "And if you do, please do. Don't bother to get up, I can let myself out." He saw Vanni watching him pensively as he left and wondered what that was about before shrugging it off.

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CHAPTER NINE "Montgomery Stanton the Third," Abbie told Hollis after he'd gotten back to the station house. "Came here from back East a week ago, just as he told Mr Hunt. Was staying at the Marston Hotel until he could find an apartment or condo according to what he told one of the desk clerks." "Rich?" "I haven't had a chance to dig that deep yet. The phone number he gave Mr Hunt was the one to his hotel room, not his personal one, if he had one." "Is there anyone these days that doesn't have a cell phone? Did you get into his room to see if there was anything in it that could give us a lead on his family if he has one?" "I've got Tony there now with a couple of CSI people going over it. He'll call if they find anything. Now I for one am going home before my husband decides to file a missing person's report on me." "Go for it. I'll see you in the morning, hopefully not as early as it was this morning." "God, I hope not but if it is, it probably won't be our killer unless he radically changes his routine. Anyway, see you tomorrow."

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Hollis nodded as he got ready to leave as well. It took him twenty minutes to go from the station to his own small house at the edge of the city thanks to a bad accident on the highway that had traffic backed up for miles. As soon as he walked through the front door his phone rang. He prayed it wasn't a work call and sighed in relief when it turned out to be a friend. Although he was tired Hollis knew he was still too wound up to relax so when his friend suggested they go out for supper and a couple of drinks he agreed. **** "You look like you should be home in bed," Joseph observed as Hollis dropped down in the seat across from him. Hollis shrugged. "I need to eat and unwind a bit first. It's been a hell of a long day." "I heard the killer you're after struck again." Joseph shook his head. "I suspect the clubs are going to be emptier than usual until you catch him." "One could only hope but…" Hollis shrugged a shoulder as he picked up the menu. After they ordered and had drinks in front of them Joseph asked, "How are you going to catch him?" 53

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Hollis shook his head. "If I knew that he'd already be in jail. He's clever enough that he doesn't leave any traces behind. The joys of too many television programs about criminal investigation, the perps know how to cover their trail." "You could always send some men in undercover at some of the clubs." "Don't think I haven't thought about doing that. But think about it, do you know how many men hook up at the clubs and leave with someone they don't know? We'd need an army to follow them all on the off chance one of them was the killer with his newest victim in hand." "Yeah, I can see your point. And the odds of the killer picking one of your people are probably a million to one." "Exactly," Hollis replied pensively, tapping a finger on the table. "You just got an idea." "Maybe. Maybe not. We'll see. For now though let's change the topic. How was your day?" **** Vanni frowned when he saw the name on the caller ID. Why would that detective be calling him? Only one 54

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way to find out, he figured, so he answered. Two minutes later he hung up, none the wiser on the reason behind the call. He did however agree to meet the detective downtown in an hour. "On a Sunday morning, don't you guys ever take a break?" he muttered as he went to get dressed, just glad that he'd turned in early last night. For a Saturday night the clubs had been very slow and most of the men had seemed leery about hooking up with someone they didn't know, even for a quick down and dirty in the john. He had made some pocket change but it had taken all his persuasive powers to manage that. When he arrived at the station house at around nine thirty he let the cop at the front desk know he was supposed to meet Detective Robbins then looked around as he waited. Even at this hour it was busy as officers brought in people they had arrested to be booked, or dealt with others who had come in to report a crime. "Shouldn't you all be in church?" he muttered under his breath. "It is Sunday." He glanced over when he heard someone chuckle. "It could be Easter Sunday and we'd still be dealing with this," Hollis told him. "Unfortunately criminals don't seem to care what day it is." He waited for Vanni to get up then led him upstairs to the squad room and into the office. After the door was closed Vanni leaned against it 55

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and asked, "So, why am I here?" "Sit and I'll tell you." When it became obvious Vanni would rather stay standing he pointed to the chair. "Please." After a moment's hesitation Vanni sat and stared at Hollis while drumming his fingers restlessly on his thighs. He cocked an eyebrow and waited. "All right, I had an idea thanks to something a friend said to me," Hollis said in preface. "But I need the help of someone who knows the club scene well and I've got the idea you do." Vanni nodded but stayed quiet. "The killer, if he stays true to pattern, strikes on Friday or Saturday nights." "That makes sense. They're busy so it would be easy for him to find someone." "Yes, and it would be less likely anyone would pay particular attention to him, right?" Vanni nodded; intrigued at where he thought the detective was headed. "You want me to be your eyes at the clubs. It would be a long shot you know." "If it were just you it would be but I intend to be there too. Between us we just might spot him, presuming we're in the right place at the right time, of course." Vanni snorted. "Lots of luck on that, and why you, 56

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why not some cop that isn't connected to the case? Your face has been on the news, you know." "Yeah I know, but I think I'm best qualified to spot our man because I have been working this from the beginning. My lieutenant agrees, very reluctantly but he does. I sort of neglected to let him know I might be bringing in someone else to help though." "So what do you have in mind? We can't hang together that wouldn't…" Vanni paused to rethink what he was going to say. After all the man was a cop. "Wouldn't seem normal for me." Hollis chuckled. "I take it you have a reputation for playing the field." "You could say that," Vanni replied with a grin. "Well I wasn't planning on our spending the night holding hands. We spread out and keep our eyes open. You know the regulars I'm sure, which means you've undoubtedly seen our man without knowing it was him. I know the signs to look for. We go to the clubs and…" Hollis frowned. "And dance. That's the easiest explanation for our being together on and off. Too bad he doesn't use just one club as his hunting ground, it would make it easier." "We don't actually know that he doesn't. But if he does we don't know which one." Hollis had a thought and 57

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asked, "Did you see the pictures in the paper yesterday?" "Pictures?" "Of the victims. I'd say you didn't from your question." Hollis picked up the case file and thumbed through it for the page he wanted. Then he slid it over to Vanni. "Do you recognize any of these men?" Vanni studied the four faces carefully. Finally he nodded. "I've seen these two before on and off." He tapped his chin in thought. "If I'm remembering correctly it was at the same club, DTM. This one," he pointed to a picture, "I know hangs out there and nowhere else. Rumor has it he has, well had, a thing for one of the bartenders." "Interesting. We've shown the pictures around the clubs, to the people that work there. One of the dancers at DTM said the same thing, but he didn't recognize any of the others. As far as the bartenders, if they did know him they didn't admit to it." "So maybe we start there?" "You're willing to do this?" Vanni shrugged. "Sure, why not." He smiled. "It'll definitely be a change of pace."

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CHAPTER TEN As Vanni and Hollis entered the club, together but acting like they were just two men who'd been stuck next to each other in line, Hollis said under his breath, "I don't remember…" Then he closed his mouth when he realized he'd been talking out loud, albeit quietly. Vanni overheard him nonetheless and shot him a thoughtful

look.

"Done

this

scene

before

huh?

Undercover?" "Yes," Hollis said a bit too quickly as he headed to the bar. Uh huh, Vanni thought doubtfully. You agreed too fast, and were too eager to get away from me afterwards. Sure it was part of the plan that they only be together some of the time but still. He shook his head then began to check out the men at the tables and on what he could see of the dance floor at the back of the club. If he hadn't known better he would have thought it was a weekday, not Friday night, from the number of people there. It had been the same on the street outside the club, fewer men and most of them paired up already with people they knew. Safety in numbers, if they don't start cruising other guys once they have a few drinks in them.

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He figured enough time had passed and made his way to the bar. Hollis was leaning with his back against it, a beer in his hand as he did his own surveillance of the room. Vanni casually took the empty space beside him and ordered a beer as well. He wondered if the bartender on duty was the same one the victim had had a crush on. It wasn't his place to ask, however, so he didn't. Instead he turned to Hollis with a grin. "I don't remember seeing you around before." Hollis shrugged. "Not much into the whole club thing but I just broke up with someone and didn't want to spend Friday night at home alone. You know how that goes." According to the basic script they'd worked out, Vanni nodded. "Been there, done that, it sucks." He took a pull on his beer when it arrived before he asked, "Do you dance?" "Sort of but not well," Hollis admitted, his eyes still roaming the room as he looked for anything suspicious. He knew it was still early but then they had no timeframe for when the killer actually took his victims, other than the last one. Unfortunately even after the victims' pictures had appeared in the newspaper no one had come forward to say they'd seen one or another of them leaving a club with someone on the night they'd been murdered. 60

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"Well tonight's a good time to get better since it's not too crowded out there." Vanni took a couple of steps away from the bar and waited. He smiled to himself when he saw the brief hesitant look on Hollis's face before the detective pushed away from the bar to join him. "Let's see how you do," Vanni said a minute later when they stepped onto the dance floor. Hollis took a deep breath as he watched how the others were doing it then began moving slowly with the music. Vanni resisted chuckling at his tentativeness as he took both of Hollis's hands in his own. "You've got the idea," he told him, "just faster and with more… passion." "I don't do passion," Hollis muttered. "Oh I bet you do under the right circumstances." Vanni pulled him closer and put his hands on Hollis's hips. "Like with the right man." Hollis glared at him. "What the hell makes you think…" "Don't try to kid a kidder as they say. You may be in the closet, you may not even admit to yourself that there's a closet you need to be in, but mister, you are far from immune to men." He took a swift glance down at Hollis's crotch. "Your mind may not accept it but your body is saying something very different." Hollis swallowed hard and changed the subject as 61

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he appeared to be desperately trying to will down his hardening cock. "We're not going to find the man we're looking for if we stay out here." "I beg to differ; this is the perfect place to be because we can watch everyone without anyone thinking we're doing more than dancing." Vanni demonstrated by spinning Hollis around while he drew him even closer to his body. "Just look over my shoulder, when you aren't staring into my eyes. By the way, yours are a great shade of gray." He smirked when Hollis tried to pull away. "Relax, it's all an act, well mostly anyway." Hollis would have debated that if he'd had the chance but Vanni suddenly spun them around again with a muttered, "Shit!" "What, did you see something?" "Look toward the bar." Hollis did and sighed. "A street full of bars and he has to show up at this one. We need to talk to him before he says something." "You go do that while I handle the other part of what could be a real problem," Vanni replied with a nod toward the door to the club. They broke apart quickly. Hollis crossed toward the bar to intercept Gary, who was headed their way, while Vanni hurried over to grab Devin's hand and tug him off to 62

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one of the tables that lined the wall on the far side of the room. **** As Hollis approach, he saw Gary peer past him with a sharp shake of his head. When Hollis stood in front of him Gary asked, "What are you doing here with the rat bastard?" "If you mean Mr Breda, he is helping me with the case," Hollis replied in an undertone. "So I'd appreciate it if you didn't do anything to blow our covers." "The only thing he'll help you with is a quick trip to the john to blow you, for a price," Gary replied acerbically, although he did lower his voice to a bare whisper. Hollis did his best to hide his surprise at Gary's words as he said, "Since I'm straight that is not an option." Just as Vanni's had, Gary's gaze dropped to Hollis's crotch for a second. "Whatever you say. Now is it okay if I go get a drink? I promise your secret is safe with me." "Thanks," Hollis muttered. Which secret Gary meant, he didn't even want to think about. **** Meanwhile Vanni stood across from Devin, one foot on the rung of the chair opposite where Devin sat. He leaned over with his hands on the back of the chair as he explained in a quiet voice why he was at the club with the 63

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detective. Devin listened, a look of disbelief on his face. "So," Devin said when Vanni finished, "I'm supposed to believe he rang you in on an undercover job?" "Is that so surprising? I do know the club scene better than most." "No shit. Does he know what you do every time you come to one?" "Hell no and I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell him." Devin chuckled. "I could blackmail the hell out of you right now, if I didn't like you so much." Vanni put a hand to his heart. "You never told me you cared." Devin snorted. "Not that way, you silly man. Now, since you've warned me about what's going on, is it okay if I go get a drink then…" He stood up then suddenly grabbed Vanni's hand to pull him toward the dance floor. "Dance with me now and make it look real, please?" he pled. "You just saw Gary, didn't you? I take it you didn't know he was coming here." "If I had, do you think I'd be here?" Devin replied somewhat sadly. "I know you wouldn't be," Vanni told him as he followed him. **** Hollis watched Vanni as he wrapped his arms 64

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around Devin when they reached the dance floor and tried to tell himself it didn't bother him. Hell, he barely knew Vanni except as someone who was willing to help with the case. He turned his back on them and went to the bar. Gary stood there, a beer in one hand, a look of hatred on his face. "If it bothers you so much, do something about it," Hollis told him. "And I don't mean get in a fight with Vanni." Gary looked at him and almost smiled. "You mean I can't kill him and pin it on the murderer?" "I'd prefer that you didn't." Hollis ordered a fresh beer. "Besides, I doubt you could even if you are pissed at him and for sure it would not impress Devin." "Why would I want to do that?" "Because, Gary, like it or not you still care for him." "Going Dear Abby on me?" "Not really but I'm a cop, I see a lot of people in a lot of different situations. I'm good at reading emotions and you do care about him no matter what you may think." "Even if I do, I still can't handle his rollercoaster emotions anymore." "Have you, well did you talk to him about that?" "I tried; he shut me down when I did." "Maybe you just didn't try hard enough." "Yeah well it's too late now. I mean look at them." 65

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Hollis did and wondered if Gary was right because the two men certainly seemed totally involved with each other. **** They were, but not in the way Gary and Hollis thought. Vanni was essentially telling Devin the same thing Hollis had told Gary but in reverse. "If you didn't tell him what was going on with you how did you expect him to react?" Vanni asked. "I expected him to trust me," Devin countered angrily. "And yet you didn't trust him enough to tell him." "How could I? It would have killed him. One damned misstep and look what happened." "You're certain?" Vanni asked compassionately. "Yeah. I knew a month ago." "Which is when things really started to go downhill between the two of you." Vanni put a hand under Devin's chin to make him look at him. "You love him, that much is blatantly obvious, and despite the fact that I can't stand the son of a bitch, I think he loves you as well. So damn it, Dev, talk to him." "I'll… think about it." Devin pulled away then. "And you had better get back to why you're here. Who knows, maybe the killer really is around here somewhere, 66

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staking out his next victim." Vanni nodded. Maybe he is, which means I need to get back to Hollis. Vanni saw him at the bar. Apparently he was watching Gary out on the dance floor with some man who was using him as a substitute for a pole to dance around. Vanni rolled his eyes. Then Hollis glanced toward Devin was now sitting by himself at a table, frowned and turned back to look at the people on the dance floor again. "Looking for me?" Vanni asked from behind him. Hollis turned and nodded as he picked up his beer. "Damn, you're a cop, don't you know better than to do that?" Vanni growled. When Hollis looked at him, Vanni shook his head. "Don't you know better than to drink something in a club if you've left it sitting around without watching it for any length of time?" "Of course, but… Hell, you're right. That was stupid of me. It could have…" The two men looked at each other. "Hell, maybe…" "Yeah, maybe," Vanni agreed. Hollis placed a call, left a message, and when he was finished he said, "Now I wait and see." ****

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The rest of the night went by without Hollis or Vanni seeing anything that suggested the killer was in the club and hunting. That didn't mean the man wasn't out there somewhere given the number of clubs there were in the neighborhood. Gary had danced with any man who asked him until it was obvious he was about to drop from exhaustion. When he headed out the door without a glance at Devin, Vanni felt like stopping him to give him a piece of his mind. He knew it would do no good. He saw the hurt on Devin's face and wished there was something he could do to help but again there wasn't much he could do at this point but hope Devin would get up the nerve to talk to Gary. By closing time Hollis, Vanni, and a handful of other men were the only ones left in the club. The bartender told them to finish their drinks if they were going to. By silent mutual agreement Vanni and Hollis took their time as they waited for the other men to leave. All of them, they noted, were going out the door with the same men they'd arrived with. "Ready?" Vanni asked. "Definitely," Hollis replied tiredly. Vanni laughed. "Wuss. Race you to the door." "As if." Hollis set his glass down and they both headed out. Once they were on the virtually empty 68

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sidewalk he paused as he appeared to debate with himself. "Go ahead, ask. I'm sure Gary said something," Vanni told him because he had a feeling he knew why the detective hadn't moved toward his car. Hollis shook his head. "No can do, because if I ask and you answer in the affirmative I should probably arrest you." Vanni actually chuckled. "Could you? Wouldn't my saying something be considered self-incrimination?" "Or be taken as a confession." "But then you'd have to have Mirandize me." Hollis studied him for a long moment. Then he began to laugh, "You are something else." "Is that good or bad?" "I haven't decided," Hollis admitted. "But you want to." "Yeah, Vanni, I think maybe I do. Right now however I have to get home and get some sleep. My day starts early, probably a hell of a lot earlier than yours." "Hey, I have a legit job, believe it or not! One that requires me to show up on time and dressed appropriately in a suit and tie, although not on Saturdays, thank God." Hollis eyed him. "You in a suit and tie?" Vanni nodded. "Yep, they expect accountants to look the part." 69

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"Now that I never would have guessed in a million years." Vanni smiled. "I know. So are we going to do this again tomorrow night?" "Definitely, especially if I get a positive answer back on my question because then we'll know what to look for. I'll call you by mid-afternoon if not before." "I'll be waiting," Vanni replied before he started across the street to where he'd parked his car.

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CHAPTER ELEVEN The ME ran the tip of his pencil down the list of popular date-rape drugs, crossed most of them off as he did and said, "None of these showed up in tests on the latest victim. However, there is one that probably wouldn't have shown up unless we'd been able to test him very soon after he'd taken it because it metabolizes quickly." Hollis looked at the remaining drug and nodded as he asked, "Can it be put in a drink without the victim tasting it?" "Definitely. The drawback, as far as the person doing the drugging would be concerned, is that while it's a hallucinogenic and a pain killer the effects last for only an hour or so in low dosages." "That would still give the killer plenty of time to get his victim out of a club and into his vehicle." "Agreed. So my best guess is that you're looking for someone who has access to 'Special K', ketamine." "It's a prescription drug to the best of my knowledge. Is that right?" The ME nodded. "Believe me, and I'm sure you know this, that doesn't stop it getting out to suppliers on the black market, just like any other drug. You walk into any

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club and there's probably some sleazebag who has some on him." Hollis snorted. "So all I have to do is search everyone who comes in. As if. Okay doc, thanks for the information. If nothing else I think I've found the way the killer's getting his victims to go with him which is a start." After he got back to the squad room Hollis called Vanni. When he answered Hollis confirmed that they were definitely on again for the evening. He hesitated, well aware he shouldn't share information with a civilian, then rather than do it from work he told Vanni he'd meet him somewhere before they headed to the club. They set a time and place and hung up. "What are you grinning about?" Abbie asked as she walked over to rest a hip on the corner of his desk seconds later. "What, I'm not allowed to smile?" "Allowed to, yes. Do it often, not really, and not that sort of shit-eating grin that's on your face right now." She came closer and said very quietly with a wicked look in her eyes, "Who's the lucky man?" "What the hell…?" "Hollis, we've been partners for more years than I care to think about. Now the others may be deaf and blind but I'm not. When anyone asks how your weekend or days 72

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off were you just say 'fine', or talk about the show you went to or the restaurant you and a friend checked out. And buddy," she tapped his arm, "you never brag about your conquests, or even say that your dinner date was a female. If you listen to the other guys that's all they do. It's like 'can you top this?'" "So I'm a private person. Isn't that allowed?" Abbie perched on the edge of his desk to look at him. "Of course, it's allowed. It's just that, and this is the honest truth, today is the first time I've seen you smile as if you're honestly happy about something other than nabbing a killer or a crook." "Even if what you're saying is the truth what makes you think it has to be a man?" "Because for the last month you've been living and breathing this case. Even on your days off you're more here than at home. Where along the line would you have had a chance to meet a woman who'd make you look so happy? Men, yes, especially last night while you were undercover with what's his name." "Vanni," he replied instantly. "And I could have met a woman. I actually did go to the theater on one of my days off. I could have met her there and…" "Did you?" "Well no," he admitted, averting his eyes. "You're 73

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still jumping to conclusions." "We'll see. Vanni, huh? Short for Giovanni, I bet." "He hates…" Hollis sighed and gave up. "If you tell anyone… And so far there's nothing to tell anyway. We barely know each other and there's no reason to think he's the least bit interested in me, and…" "So find out because like I said from the git-go this is the first time in forever that you actually look happy despite what's going on with the case, which so far is a big fat zero." "Actually, we might be on to something," he said, and proceeded to fill her in.

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CHAPTER TWELVE "I don't believe I'm doing this," Vanni growled as he checked the mirror one more time to make certain he looked perfect. Not 'clubbing' perfect he'd realized after he looked at himself yet again. He wanted to impress Hollis, which was stupid and he knew it. First off the man really was deeply closeted as Vanni had pointed out to him last night. Secondly, even if he wasn't, there was no reason to think that he'd be interested in him. "You're just a club whore so get over it," he sternly told his reflection. "Everyone knows that, you most of all." That didn't stop him from making one more adjustment before he took off to meet Hollis. **** The small restaurant was busy but Hollis was able to snag a table off in one corner where they could have some privacy to talk. He told the waitress he was waiting for someone then smiled when he saw Vanni come through the door and look around for him. When he waved Vanni smiled back as he came over. They ordered a couple of beers, which the waitress came back with a few minutes

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later. After they took a quick look at the menu the two men placed their orders and she left. "So," Vanni said as he took a drink, "why are we meeting here?" "Because I got the information we needed, more or less." When Hollis glanced around but said nothing more Vanni prompted him. "You're not supposed to tell a civilian, I suppose." "Not really but since at this point you're as deep into this as I am I'm going to anyway. According to the ME, the medical examiner in layman's terms…" Hollis chuckled when Vanni mouthed 'I knew that', and continued. "According to him no date-rape drugs showed up in any of the victims' systems. Before you think we were way off base he also told me there's one that wouldn't unless he had been able to examine the body very soon after it had been ingested. Do you know what ketamine is?" "Yeah, Special K. Some bastards like to use it because it's fast acting." "Exactly. I was thinking that could be a plus for us because we can keep an eye open for anyone who seems to suddenly be out of it. That's presuming, of course, that our killer is going that route." Vanni nodded. Then he frowned deeply as he 76

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thought of something. Hollis instantly asked him what was wrong. "This is strange, and way off the wall, but I think maybe someone dosed me with some K." Hollis immediately took his notebook from his pocket. "Details." "It didn't happen at one of the clubs, well not one of the ones you're interested in. There's a small, out of the way one I go to sometimes." Vanni scrubbed a hand over his face. "It's sort of a sleazy place and, well anyway, I hooked up with a dude. Later he suggested we step outside for a smoke and gave me a beer to go with it. That's the last I remember until I woke up in a strange apartment." He smiled tightly. "I'm sure it wasn't the guy you're looking for because I'm alive and have all my body parts. It's just… well I know how fast the damned stuff can work if that's what he gave me." "Did he… were you assaulted?" Hollis asked quietly. "I don't think so, which makes it doubly weird. Why drug me, take me to his place then just leave me there?" "He got cold feet maybe?" Hollis suggested. "What did he look like?" Vanni described the man, which made Hollis comment, "If he was that much smaller than you he might have figured he needed to drug you to get you home with him without a fight. I suspect you could have taken 77

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him with one hand behind your back from the sound of it." "But why just leave me there without doing anything to me?" "He was using you as a guinea pig to see if the drug worked?" "Possible, I guess. Strange though." Hollis had a sudden thought so off the wall he wasn't certain he should voice it. Vanni must have seen something in his face because he asked, "What?" "Had you ever seen the man before then?" Vanni rolled the beer bottle in his hands pensively. "Honestly I couldn't say and it seems to me I'd remember him if I had, given that he's shorter than average. Doesn't mean he hasn't been to other clubs though. Why? What are you thinking?" "Nothing. Well, not nothing because the idea of a guinea pig had me wondering. No traces of any drugs other than the normal ones you get at clubs in any of the victims. What if the killer decided that he wanted to make his life easier by incapacitating his victim? That way he wouldn't have to take a chance of them fighting back. Maybe that's why…" His voice petered out again. "You've gone this far, keep talking. I'm not about to tell anyone else what we're discussing." Hollis looked at him with a shake of his head. "It 78

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wasn't that. I trust you for whatever reason or I wouldn't be talking to you about any of this. No, what I was thinking was the first victim's never been found, other than one arm that was left with the second victim." "You're kidding. He does that?" "Umm, yeah, and that is something that has not been let out to any news organization." Hollis looked Vanni square in the eyes as he said that. "Understood." "Thanks." Hollis smiled slightly. "You're good for bouncing ideas off, you know. Almost as good as my partner." Vanni flinched saying, "I hope you mean the partner you work with, not…?" "Of course, who else?" Then realization hit. "No, I'm not with anyone. I'm pretty much of a loner outside of my job other than a couple of friends I hang out with." "Strangely enough so am I, believe it or not," Vanni replied, a small grin quirking his lips. "Lots of acquaintances, damned all for friends other than maybe Devin." "I'd have figured you for having a ton of them." "You don't make friends at clubs. You get fuck buddies, maybe, for the short haul, one night stands if that's your thing, but rarely friends." 79

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Hollis nodded while he studied his face. "Then why hang out at them?" "Other than the obvious reason? I suppose because it's better than holing up at home watching crap flicks and drinking beer by myself." "Hey, nothing too wrong with that; it's what I do, only I watch good movies or read." "You don't get bored out of your skull?" Hollis shook his head. "Maybe because my job's what it is, stressful and high tension, but I almost look forward to just going home and vegging when I get the chance." "Almost…" "Well, yeah. I'll admit there are times… But that's neither here nor there at the moment. Until I catch this killer I won't even be doing that too much." "Then let's get the bastard," Vanni stated. He reached for his beer and shook his head. "When did the food arrive? Guess I wasn't paying attention." He picked up his burger, looked at it and set it back down again. "Not hungry?" Hollis asked while he eyed his own meal with less than great enthusiasm. When Vanni shook his head Hollis chuckled. "I think we talked ourselves out of any desire to do more than get to the club and see what happens." 80

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"Totally," Vanni agreed as he reached for the bill. "My treat, don't argue, I can write it off." "Now as an accountant I should caution you…" Vanni told him with a grin. "Yeah, yeah. Let's get out of here. You can caution me on the way to the club." Vanni cocked an eyebrow. "I did drive here, you know." "Ahh, yeah, forgot about that. Okay I'll meet you there." By then Hollis had picked up the bill and was checking it before counting out cash for the tip, which he left on the table. He stopped at the front counter to pay the tab and get a receipt, much to Vanni's approval, then they left.

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN Devin opened the door to his apartment with a feeling of trepidation. He had asked, no, begged Gary to come by so that he could talk to him. He could tell from his voice on the phone Gary had only agreed out of a feeling of obligation and the hope that it would be the last time he would ever have to see Devin in less than public circumstances. Gary stood there, a frown pasted on his face, not an auspicious beginning Devin thought. "You going to let me in?" Gary asked when Devin didn't move. "Oh, yes." Devin stepped back then closed the door while Gary walked quickly to what had once been his usual spot on the sofa. Gary must have realized that because he veered off and sat in a chair instead. Gary looked up at Devin who still stood a few feet away. "Okay, what's so important you needed me to come over here?" Devin took a deep breath and said, "I tested positive." There was shock in Gary's voice and on his face as he replied, "The hell you say! How long have you known?

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Who…? How…?" "I got the results back a month ago," Devin told him as he dropped his eyes to stare at a spot on the floor in front of him. "That's when…" Gary shook his head angrily. "Why the hell wait 'til now to tell me? Why tell me at all? It's obvious my safety didn't mean a damned thing to you." "That's not true! Why do you think I was so damned careful when we… Why do you think I… I tried to keep you at arms' length. I was scared, terrified, and a coward. I couldn't figure out a way to tell you that wouldn't make you hate me, so… so I didn't and you ended up hating me anyway." "Who was it?" "A guy, no one you know, hell, no one I really know if you want the honest truth." "The truth would be refreshing," Gary said angrily. "Go on." "Remember the big fight we had about moving in together?" "Vividly. You stormed out and told me you might not be back, ever." Devin nodded. "I… ended up at a club. I got totally wasted and when this guy came on to me I… went back to his place with him." 83

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"And had unprotected sex with him? How could you be so stupid?" "I could blame it on the drinking, which was part of it, and the fact that I was still so pissed I really didn't give a damn. Whatever the reasons it happened, we fucked then I left. When I sobered up and realized what had happened I panicked. I went back to his place." Devin shook his head. "He wasn't there but his roommate was. He's the one who told me that the guy had AIDS. I guess I wasn't the only one the guy had gone bareback with because the roommate suggested I get tested right away." "Two months, two damn months, and for a month you knew and said nothing." Gary stared angrily at Devin's distraught face. "You should have… I would have… I'd have understood." He sighed deeply. "I thought you were… You've always been so mercurial so I thought it was getting worse, that maybe you were going over the edge and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I blamed it on what was happening with your job. And when you wouldn't talk to me… Damn it, Dev. Why didn't you trust me?" Devin dropped down on the sofa, burying his face in his hands. "I didn't want to lose you, and I did, and it was all my fault." For a long few minutes they sat like that. Then Gary moved to the sofa when he realized that Devin was crying 84

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quietly. "It's going to be all right," he said softly as he put his arm around Devin's shoulders. "We'll get through this, I promise." Devin lifted his head to look at him in disbelief. "You really… you mean that?" "I guess I do, since I said it," Gary replied with a gentle smile. "I happen to love you. I hated you for a while there, but that didn't stop me from loving you. It won't be easy but I think, I mean if you want to that is…" "I do," Devin whispered. "Oh God, yes, I do." "Then that's settled. We both want it, so we're going to start fresh and this time, Mr Morris, you are not going to keep any secrets from me. Promise?" Devin searched Gary's face before he nodded. "I promise."

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN "I'm getting fucking tired of watching people's drinks," Vanni muttered quietly when Hollis rejoined him at the bar. Hollis nodded in agreement. They had been at DTM for two hours and as far as they could tell, it looked like it would be another wasted night. "Maybe I was way off base," he replied quietly. "We could be hanging out here while he's at another club picking out his potential victim and taking him off for a night of debauchery of the very unpleasant sort." "You think he is going to strike again?" "If he follows true to form. He's killed once a week since he started, always on the weekend." "We

need

to

stop

him,"

Vanni

told

him

emphatically. Hollis's smile verged on amused. "You're really getting into this." "I want things to be safe again." "Ahh, yes, I can see why you might." It was apparent from the look on his face Hollis wished he hadn't said that seconds after the words left his mouth. Vanni tensed angrily before he took a deep breath

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and slowly let it out. "I deserved that." "No, no you didn't. I have no right to criticize you for how you choose to live your life. You do what seems to work for you and it's no one's business but your own." "Unfortunately you're right," Vanni replied glumly as he picked up his beer. "Okay, I put my foot in it, again, didn't I?" "Like I said, it's the truth." Vanni took a long pull on his beer then swiveled around to scan the room again. He frowned when he saw a man he knew headed his way. The last thing he needed right now was the guy trying to get him to go off to the john for a blowjob. Quickly he turned back to Hollis. "Go with it," he muttered then he kissed him; not hard or deep, just a brush of lips to lips to let the guy know he wasn't available right now. At least that had been the plan until Hollis responded with a kiss of his own that held promise for more. Vanni pulled back in surprise, and saw matching surprise on Hollis's face. "Well… damn," he said softly. "I'm sorry, I only intended on helping you out with whatever." Hollis dropped his eyes then with a shake of his head he lifted them to look at Vanni. "That was what I intended but I got, well, carried away." "Think you could get carried away again sometime when we're not supposed to be catching a killer?" 87

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"I might consider the possibility," Hollis told him with a smile. "If the conditions were right." "Then I'll have to see about…" Whatever Vanni was going to say was cut off when Hollis jumped and pulled his cell from his pocket. He read the text then placed a call. After a few terse words he hung up. "I have to go. Our killer struck again only this time he didn't finish the job. His victim's on the way to the hospital." Vanni stood when Hollis did and started to follow him. Hollis told him to stay put. "I'll let you know what happened when I can, I promise." Vanni wanted to protest but understood that would gain him nothing. "All right. You know where to reach me." "I do." Hollis headed toward the door. "And I will," he called back over his shoulder. "Promise."

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN "He'll live," the surgeon told Lieutenant Richter and Hollis. "He was one lucky man that someone found him when they did. Another few minutes and he'd have been too far gone to save." "How soon before we'll be able to talk to him?" Richter asked. "At least twenty-four hours, maybe longer. He lost a lot of blood, obviously, and we had to do major surgery on the area where the perpetrator had begun trying to sever his arm. I guess the victim should be glad the man started with the arm and not his heart." One of the CSI team members came over at that point. "He had ketamine in his system," he told Hollis. "Score one for the home team," Hollis said. "We, I wasn't crazy after all." Richter caught the shift in pronouns and shot Hollis a look that said 'We'll talk later'. Hollis nodded and turned away quickly to say to the surgeon, "We're going to set up guards at the door to his room." "I'd be surprised if you didn't," the surgeon replied. "I'll let you know as soon as we've moved him." Once the surgeon left, Hollis said, "I need all the

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details." "He was found in another park, a smaller one than before. Abbie's still out there. She can fill you in. I'm presuming you didn't see anything related to this going down at the club you were at." "Not ace-deuce and I was watching, trust me on that." "I do. You're too good a cop not to." Richter held up a hand when Hollis started to leave. "As soon as you get back to the station house I want all the details about the man you've pulled in to help you." "How did you…?" Richter smiled tightly. "I could say I'm not totally stupid but actually Abbie let it slip though she didn't realize it. Anyway get moving. She's waiting." **** Abbie saw Hollis and waved. When he got to her she started to fill him in on what they knew so far. "As far as we can tell it was a man walking his dog that scared off the perp. The dog started to go crazy according to his owner, yanked the leash out of his hand and set off running toward there," she pointed to a small stand of trees that stood in front of the brick wall that ran 90

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the length of the park. "The dog was howling and barking, and the man went after him because he thought there might be a feral dog his pet was chasing. He says he got about ten yards from where the victim was found when someone burst out of the trees, ran like hell down the side of the wall to the gate and climbed over it. The dog gave chase while the owner went to see what the man was doing. His first thought of course was that he was assaulting some female. He saw the victim and called 911. Luckily for the vic the EMTs got here within five minutes." "Do we have any description of the killer?" "According to the witness it was a male, he estimates between five-seven and five-ten." Abbie smiled slightly. "He said he was comparing him to his wife who's five-eight. The perp had on jeans, he thinks, and a dark shirt, blue or black but he couldn't say for sure. He either has dark hair or was wearing a beanie. That's the best he could tell me." "Better than nothing but the height doesn't gel with what our last witness said." "True, but remember he wasn't sober. This man is and he saw him the whole distance from the trees to the gate." "All right. Did our killer leave his usual present for us?" 91

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"Not that we've found so far. He could have taken it with him when he ran or he left it in his vehicle, which would make more sense if you think about it. He had to deal with getting the victim where he wanted him for the kill. If you're right about the vic being drugged he'd have to be guided. If he was out cold then the perp would need to carry him somehow. Either way the arm would have been in the way." "He was drugged according to the ME, and since K's a pain killer it explains why the perp feels safe killing his victim in the city." Hollis started toward the crime scene then paused. "Now…" he murmured. "Now?" Abbie said. "Yeah, now. He used to take them somewhere to kill them then deposit the body in the woods afterwards. Now he's killing and leaving them where he does it." Abbie nodded. "So maybe the drugging is a new thing for him." "That's what I was thinking. And, long shot but Vanni may have been his test case." "What? Are you serious?" Hollis explained. When he finished she said, "He needs to get with our sketch artist first thing in the morning." "Definitely." Hollis was on his phone seconds later. 92

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He explained to Vanni what he needed and Vanni asked without hesitation, "When and where?" **** "We have to stop meeting like this, especially on Sundays," Vanni said with a grin when Hollis came down to get him from the waiting area at the station house. Hollis chuckled dutifully as he took Vanni upstairs. After he'd introduced him to Janelle, the sketch artist, she and Vanni set to work. While they did, Hollis went back to his desk and pulled the case file on the case from the drawer. Slowly, page by page he began to go through it again. He needed to read every scrap of information they'd collected, from his own notes down to those of every officer who had been at any of the crime scenes. He had to make very certain he hadn't missed something. An hour later he looked up, almost in relief, when he heard someone cough softly beside him. "You were deep into whatever you're doing," Vanni said as he sat down in the vacant chair beside Hollis's desk. "Trying to see if I overlooked something," Hollis replied. "So, do we have a picture now?" "We do. She said she'd bring it over in a couple of minutes. Do you really think that man could be the killer?" 93

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When Hollis nodded, Vanni shivered. "That's too spooky." With a slight smile Hollis said, "I'm not sure I'd call it spooky. Frightening is more like it. You could be lying in the morgue right now if he'd decided to kill you instead of experiment on you. Do you remember where the apartment he took you to was?" "I wasn't in the best of shape when I left but I think I can find it again." "Good. I need to take a forensics team there to go over it with a fine-toothed comb." "Why? I mean it's his place, why not just go there and arrest him?" "Somehow I doubt it's his. It would have been really stupid for him to have taken you to where he lived." "Well someone lives there, it wasn't vacant and there were pills in the medicine cabinet and a locked desk." "Could belong to someone he knows, or he broke in; that's what we have to find out." Hollis turned when the sketch artist came into the squad room. She handed the picture to Vanni first, asking him to be certain it wasn't missing anything. He studied it, said it looked good, and gave it to Hollis. "Not the kind of face that stands out in a crowd," Hollis commented, "but that would work in his favor. Now we need to get copies of this then I'll send officers around 94

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with them to talk to every employee of the gay clubs in the area. Hopefully someone will recognize him. I'll be right back." **** When Hollis and the artist left, Vanni leaned back and watched the other detectives as they went about their business. He wondered how many murders happened in the city and more importantly how many murderers were caught thanks to the work of the men in front of him. One could wish it was all of them but he knew realistically that was very unlikely. "So you're the infamous Vanni," a woman's voice asked from beside him. He turned quickly to look at her and nodded. "Infamous? Not sure I'm that," he replied. "You're Hollis's partner?" "One and the same. He just filled me in about the apartment. Thanks to you we could be one step closer to nailing the killer, I hope." "As do we all," Hollis said when he joined them. "Now if everyone's ready we'll go see if Vanni can find where he was taken." ****

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"I know the street was in this area because I remember those buildings," Vanni said. "Slow down a bit. There, that shop rings a bell." He pointed and Hollis turned onto the street. "That's it, the four story building halfway down." Hollis pulled into a vacant parking place and they all got out. He saw Vanni tense up and gave his shoulder a quick squeeze before they started up the walk to the front door of the building. Hollis pressed the manager's button and when a man responded he told him who he was. After a short moment the door buzzed and they went through into a small lobby. The manager stood at an open door to one side. He asked for Hollis's ID and when he was satisfied it was legitimate he said, "How can I help you?" "We need to look at an apartment on the…" he glanced at Vanni who told him it was on the third floor at the end of the hall on the left. "There's no one living there. It's been vacant for two months now," the manager said. "Yes, sir, but we'd still like to see it, please." The manager shrugged, went into his office and returned a minute later with a key that he handed to Hollis. "Just return it when you're done. The last man that looked at the place didn't and I had to get the locksmith out to 96

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make me a new one." "Did you have him rekey the lock or just make a new key for the existing lock?" Abbie asked. "New key. It's cheaper than rekeying." Hollis showed the manager the sketch of the man that Vanni had described. "Is this him?" "Looks like him, yeah." Hollis thanked him before he placed a call to get a CSI team out to the building. While Abbie waited for them, Hollis and Vanni took the elevator to the third floor. Hollis unlocked the apartment door with a warning that Vanni was not to go inside, opened it after pulling on latex gloves. "Is this the right one?" he asked. Vanni checked what he could see from where he stood, nodded and pointed. "That's the desk I told you about." "One step closer, as Abbie said." Hollis gave a small sigh of relief. "If we're lucky the manager's not the sort to do anything more than dust and vacuum vacant apartments so there could be fingerprints." "His, mine and anyone else the manager showed the apartment to," Vanni commented as he stepped out of the doorway. "How will you know if any of them belong to the killer?" "We can eliminate yours and the manager's easily. 97

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If things go our way he hasn't shown the place since you were here. If not, we pray," Hollis replied with a sour chuckle. As they waited for Abbie and the team to appear, Vanni paced the width of the hall and back. "I could have become a victim instead of a test case," he muttered under his breath. Hollis overheard and said emphatically, "We are going to catch him." "You hope you are, but when? You told me in the car that he struck again but didn't get to finish the job. He's got to be jonesing bad now." Hollis cocked an eyebrow in amusement even though he knew Vanni was scared. "'Jonesing'?" "Yeah you know, needing something really bad." "I know what it means; it just didn't sound like a word you'd use." "I'm full of surprises. You'll find out once we…" Vanni bit his lip and shut up. "I'm sure I will," Hollis replied softly. "If and when." "So you're…" Vanni shut up again, but this time it was because the elevator doors opened and Abbie and the team came into the hallway.

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CHAPTER SIXTEEN "Pancakes or cereal?" Devin asked almost shyly, as if this was the first time, the first morning after. In a way he supposed it was. Gary smiled as he wrapped him in a tight hug. "What do I always have on Sunday morning, other than you, that is?" "Pancakes with berries." Devin looked at him and returned the smile tentatively. "And milk and syrup and… hell…" "It's all right, Dev. You've been through a lot, we both have. That's in the past now. It's the future we have to worry about." Gary shook his head. "No, not worry about, plan for. Like who does the laundry and who has dusting chores." "What?" Devin pulled away to stare at him. "You can't be serious. You didn't want to before, why now?" "Because… I do. I did. I was just afraid of that much commitment. It's a big step." He touched Devin's cheek. "It's worth it though if it means I won't lose you again." "You mean so you can keep an eye on me," Devin said with a hint of anger.

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"Not the way you're implying, no. Sure I want to keep an eye on you. Hell I want to keep an eye, my hands, my mouth…" Gary replied with a grin that said he was trying to defuse Devin's anger. Devin frowned deeply. "This isn't a joking matter. I don't want… I want… I want you to trust me again like you used to." "I will. It might take a bit of time but I will. I wouldn't have suggested you moving in if I didn't think I would." "Wait a minute, why me move there? Why don't you move in here? After all it was my idea, way back when." Gary tapped a knuckle on his lips as if giving it serious thought. "Well," he said finally, "for one my place is bigger…" "So? Mine's in a better location, closer to both our jobs." "I've got a better view though." Devin tilted his head. "Not from where I stand. I like the view from here just fine." "Damn," Gary whispered, "finally." "Finally?" "You made a joke, sort of, well maybe." "That wasn't a joke. I meant it. I missed seeing you 100

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like this, all, umm, almost undressed." "Says the man wearing shorts so indecent they probably would arrest you if you walked out the door." "They're the only thing I've got that's not in the laundry hamper." "Which means it's time for you to do laundry." "Well, yeah. But not right this second. I have pancakes to make and…" "Food can wait," Gary said while he spread his arms open. With a deep sigh Devin went into them. "Thank you," he whispered. Gary brushed a kiss over his lips. "I love you so there's no thanks needed."

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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN It was mid-afternoon before Hollis and Abbie returned to the station house. Hollis had sent Vanni home with the promise he'd call as soon as he decided if they'd go to the club again that evening. His desk held the usual pile of notes and departmental communications, most of which he scanned and stuck off to the side to deal with come Monday morning when he had a working brain again. There were some, however, that were important enough that he read them through. The first was a report from one of the officers assigned to talk to the employees of DTM. Two of the men, a waiter and a bartender, had recognized the sketch of the man who had basically abducted Vanni. Neither of them had a name for him but they both said he was a semi-regular at the club. The second one was from another officer. On a hunch Hollis had sent him to the bar where Vanni had met the presumed killer, on the off chance that someone there would have a name to put with the face. Even though it was too early for most of the regulars to be there according to the officer's report, one customer remembered seeing the man there three days earlier. He admitted he wasn't certain

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but he thought he'd heard someone call him Master Kirk, or maybe just Mister Kirk. From what Vanni had told Hollis the 'Master' appellation was probably the correct one as the man had insisted Vanni call him Master but with no given name attached to it. The final note was from the hospital. All it said was that the latest victim had survived surgery and was now in intensive care. He immediately called the number the doctor had left and found out that it would be at least twenty-four hours before the victim would regain consciousness and be able to talk to the police. While he was on the phone, Abbie answered hers when it rang. She listened, nodded once and hung up. When Hollis ended the call to the hospital she told him, "The CSI team found some trace evidence that could be linked to our man given that it was on the bed where he left Vanni. They also found a couple of prints on the headboard that weren't Vanni's or the manager's and that didn't match any of the others in the place. Their supposition is that the man may have grabbed the headboard without thinking to steady himself as he helped Vanni onto the bed. The only prints on the front door handle belong to the manager, which means someone wiped it clean, and the manager's and Vanni's are the only ones on the bathroom door." "Have they run those two prints yet?" 103

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Abbie waggled her hand. "Yes and no. There's no match in our files so they sent them off to IAFIS. They hope to hear back from them within the hour." "Fingers crossed he's on file with them. Call me the second you hear." "And just where are you off to?" she asked as he stood up. "Home to change. Vanni said something and I think he's right; after the aborted kill last night our perp has to be on edge and might try again tonight. So, it's back to the club for us." "You be careful, Hollis. For all you know he knows who you are because of the news reports and he for damned sure knows Vanni." "Planning on it. If anything breaks you'll be the first to know." "Even before the Lieutenant?" she asked with a slight grin. "Even before him." **** Vanni opened the door and just stared for a long moment. "That bad?" Hollis asked, very much afraid it was. 104

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"Hell no," Vanni said with obviously heartfelt sincerity. "This is a whole new you and damn, I like." Hollis felt as if he'd turned bright red as he replied, "It's not really me. A friend put in his two cents worth on what I should wear and loaned me the leathers." "I take it he weighs a few pounds less than you," Vanni chuckled as he eyed how they fit Hollis with a great deal of appreciation. "Quite a few," Hollis muttered uncomfortably. "Well I like them, and I like the man wearing them and I have a feeling we'd better get going before…" Vanni stopped mid-sentence as if not wanting to complete the thought that might reveal more than he should, turned away quickly and went to grab a jacket from the closet. With it slung over his shoulder he came back to the door. "Are we taking both cars again?" "Good question," Hollis said, happy to have something to take his mind off the man who stood so casually in front of him, and the feelings he provoked. When that was all Hollis said, Vanni chuckled. "Is that a yes or a no?" With a sharp shake of his head Hollis brought himself back to what he was and why he was there. "Both, just in case. If he's there and goes after someone I'll have to follow and arrest him once I've got probable cause. And 105

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before you ask, we have enough evidence to think that he's the killer, but thinking it doesn't work if we can't prove it beyond a doubt." "Makes sense to me. DTM again, right?" "Yes. It seems to be his main stomping grounds other than the bar where he picked you up, and as far as we know he's never taken anyone from there other than you." As he talked, Hollis walked into the hall with Vanni following once he'd locked up. **** Hollis and Vanni had no problem slipping into the roles they'd played the other times they'd been at the club. Hollis headed straight to the bar while Vanni veered off toward the dance floor, both searching for the man. Apparently the combination of it being Sunday, plus the fact that someone was targeting gays, had kept a lot of men away because the dance floor was only half full. He watched for a few minutes then crossed to the bar where he took a seat at the opposite end from where Hollis stood. Once he had a beer in hand he rested his elbows on the bar while he watched the room in the mirror between the shelves of liquor. Fifteen minutes later he felt someone tap his 106

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shoulder. He turned his head to smile at Hollis and nodded when Hollis asked as if this was a casual pick-up, "Do you want to dance?" Vanni nodded again and followed him, leaving his beer on the bar. "Not supposed to do that," Hollis chastised with a shake of his head. "Not planning on finishing it when I get back," Vanni countered as he put his arms around Hollis's waist. He smiled when Hollis didn't resist but instead did the same. "You're getting the hang of this dancing thing," Vanni said softly. "Only with you. Anyone else and I'd be an armslength away just holding hands, like those two." Hollis nodded toward a couple on the far side of the floor. "I rather like that idea." Hollis pulled back quickly enough that he broke Vanni's grasp on him. "Sorry," he muttered. "I thought…" "Whoa, hold up there. I meant I liked the idea of only with me." "Oh. Sorry." "Stop saying sorry and get back here. Please?" Vanni held out a hand and when Hollis took it he tugged him gently back against his chest. With Hollis's arms around his waist again Vanni smiled. "See, much better." 107

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"Much," Hollis admitted. "Maybe too much. If we keep this up I'm going to forget I'm on duty." "Had to say that, didn't you?" "Yeah, I'm afraid so." Hollis didn't relinquish his hold on Vanni but he did take his eyes off his face to check the room again. When Hollis stiffened Vanni turned them slightly, in time to the beat of the music, to see what had caught his attention. "We have lift-off," Vanni muttered under his breath. From where they were they watched the suspect as he strolled casually from the door of the club across to the bar. Two minutes later he was walking just as casually around the room, quite obviously checking out the various men for availability. "Hang on," Hollis whispered when the man started to look in their direction. Quickly he pressed his lips to Vanni's even as he kept watching the suspect. "That worked, he didn't recognize you," he said as he broke the kiss. "Boy, did it," Vanni groaned. "More than worked but not the way you meant." "Sorry," Hollis murmured, although he didn't sound quite as sorry as Vanni knew he wanted to. "Damn it, I have to, we have to…" "Stop dancing and get back to the bar so we can 108

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calm down and think straight." "Yeah, but how…" Vanni chuckled. "Think of anything that's a real turn off," he said as he stepped away just enough so there were a few inches between them." "That I can do. I'll just imagine the lieutenant when he finds out I blew this because I was too hard to give chase." Vanni snorted then laughed. "I don't know about you but that worked for me. You ready?" Hollis closed his eyes for a moment before he nodded and started toward the bar. "He's still cruising," Vanni said a couple of minutes later as he sat where he had been before with his eyes again on the mirror. Hollis stood beside him nursing his beer, seemingly not the least bit interested in Vanni now that they weren't dancing. As he took another sip he said, "Yeah, and that seems to be all he's doing." Five frustrating minutes later, with the suspect doing nothing but watching the dancers, Vanni had an idea. "Maybe I can get him moving." Vanni got up and walked down the length of the bar to take a vacant stool at the end nearest the dance floor. He set his beer down noisily while saying a bit too loudly, "Some men don't get that they aren't 109

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as interesting as they seem to think they are." He threw an irate glance at Hollis before staring with seemingly bleary eyes at the dance floor. **** What the hell do you think you're doing, Hollis thought angrily, but he had a sinking suspicion he knew and he didn't like it. It was too late though. He saw the suspect look at Vanni and recognition fill his eyes. Vanni stood, took a quick drink, set the bottle back down again and moved to intercept a man who was obviously in search of a new dance partner. The suspect stepped into the shadows along the wall beside the bar and watched Vanni with unfeigned interest. Hollis kept his eyes locked on the suspect when the man inched his way closer to where Vanni had been sitting. He cast a glance around the room and Hollis quickly struck up a conversation with a rather startled guy next to him. As he talked he continued to watch the suspect in the mirror and saw him surreptitiously put his hand over the mouth of Vanni's bottle of beer. He withdrew it seconds later, returned to where he had been standing moments before and again seemed to be casually watching the dancers. When Vanni eventually returned to the bar, without his dancing companion, he picked up his beer as he glanced in Hollis's direction. Hollis gave an almost imperceptible 110

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nod even though every instinct screamed that he should stop Vanni before he took a drink. Vanni winked and slugged down the rest of his beer as if dancing had made him very thirsty. **** It took about fifteen minutes before the K started to hit him. While he waited Vanni ordered another beer and sipped it slowly as he wondered if they had been way offbase about how the suspect went about getting control over his victims. Then he started to feel euphoric and full of energy at the same time. He stood with the thought that he wanted to dance again, and staggered. His mind wanted his feet to move but he seemed unable to make them go in the right direction. Someone grabbed his arm to steady him as they said, "Here, let me help you," in a commanding voice. Vanni nodded, his voice slurry as he replied, "Thanks man. You dance?" "I do," the suspect replied as he carefully steered Vanni toward the back of the club. The throb of the music pulsed through Vanni; the lights seemed to wink on and off like fantastically colored stars in a night sky. He watched them in awe and bemoaned the fact that they disappeared when someone steered him down a short hallway. Then fresh air hit him and he 111

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breathed deeply. "Roses," he mumbled. "And… and…" He grinned lewdly. "And sex." He heard a sharp voice order him to sit as he was forcibly turned sideways. He did, not even feeling it when his head hit the top of a car's doorframe. His legs were lifted and shoved into the car and the door was closed but he was unaware of both as dreamlike images flashed through his mind and he closed his eyes. **** Hollis was on his feet the instant the suspect began to steer Vanni toward the back door of the club. He walked swiftly out the front door, pushing his way past a group of people waiting to have their IDs checked so they could enter. He reached his car and slid in, all the while keeping his eyes on the exit from the parking lot. After he turned the key in the ignition he sat, one foot on the brake, until he saw Vanni's car pull out of the lot onto the street. Light from a streetlamp showed him Vanni was in the passenger seat, his head resting against the passenger side window. The car turned left and headed up to the intersection. Hollis waited a few beats then began to follow. As he did he called Abbie. Her husband answered, grumbled something under his breath that Hollis couldn't 112

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understand but thought probably had to do with the hour, and gave her the phone. Hollis let her know what he was doing and which way he was heading. She instantly told him that she'd join in the tail so he should keep her apprised of where he was. He agreed to and hung up. Ten minutes later he got a quick call from Abbie that she was leaving her house. He replied with his coordinates as he watched the suspect take a turn to head north on the highway. Five minutes later Abbie let him know she was driving parallel to him one street over and they'd switch a block up. He gave her the license plate number and when she asked if he'd run it he let her know the suspect was using Vanni's car. "Well shit," he heard her mutter as they hung up. He saw her pull into view, dropped back and turned onto a side street then the one Abbie had just been on. And so they played tag with the suspect for the next fifteen minutes. Hollis was starting to wonder if the man planned to leave the city proper when Abbie told him he had turned right and would pass him on the cross street. Hollis saw Vanni's car seconds later and followed. The suspect turned again, then again. Hollis swore vehemently, certain the man had realized what was happening. Apparently the suspect hadn't. He continued on straight for two blocks then pulled into the driveway of a 113

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small house set well back from the street. Hollis drove past, turned the corner and parked. Abbie's car pulled up in front of him moments later. They both got out and he told her where the suspect was. "I'll approach from the front, you take the back, and we both hang back until he's had enough time to get started," Abbie said in a voice which brooked no argument. Hollis cringed at the words 'get started' but knew she was right, they'd have nothing concrete to use against the suspect until then. Why did it seem so much easier to plan this when it was just an anonymous man from the club that was going to be the potential victim? he wondered, knowing full well what the answer was. When Abbie took off toward the house and worked her way silently across the lawns to her destination, Hollis moved to the alley to make his way down to the rear of the house. Vanni's car was empty, but Hollis had expected it would be. There was a side door a few feet away. He tested the door handle, unsurprised when he found it was locked. The only visible lights came from a room on the second floor and a thin sliver from between the crack of a boarded up window in the basement. Instinct told him that's where Vanni and the suspect were, unless the light on the second floor meant the suspect was up there for some reason. He went to the back door and again tested to see if 114

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it was unlocked. It wasn't but it didn't take him long to remedy that. Now it was just a case of wait and worry until he had reason to know that Vanni was in trouble. Well, more trouble than he was in at the moment. Hollis silently paced the length of the small back porch, every sense attuned to any sounds from inside the house. Then he kicked himself for being stupid and hurried back around to the side. That's where the light from the basement had been visible and if this was a normal house the side door probably led to stairs going down as well as up to the first floor. He got the door unlocked with no more trouble than he had the back one. His phone vibrated and he checked to find a text from Abbie that said Anything? He texted back, Nothing. At side door. Then he heard footsteps as someone walked past the door. They faded quickly and it sounded to him as if they had gone down a set of stairs from the slightly hollow sound of them. Very carefully he inched the door open a crack. He couldn't enter the house until he had probable cause but for damned certain he wasn't going to waste precious seconds turning a doorknob. Besides, with the door open even that little he'd be able to hear any sounds that came up from the basement. As he listened he heard someone speaking. He 115

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caught a few words as the man's voice rose and fell. "…had to be there… couldn't stay…" Then a moment later "Such a nice body but I knew that," followed by "…a waste." Hollis could visualize the suspect undressing Vanni and resisted the urge to break in then and there. He fisted his hands, nails digging into the palms, a reminder that he had to wait no matter what. Then the suspect said almost plaintively, "You won't feel a thing." That did it. Hollis entered the house and moved quickly but as silently as he could down the stairs that faced him to the left. At the bottom was a perfectly normal looking basement but to the right stood an open door. Light streamed out to brighten half the basement. Hollis stepped forward, his gun held at the ready. The suspect looked up in shock then he giggled like a child caught doing something they shouldn't. Vanni was lying on a table with a thick leather strap around his waist to hold him there. His eyes were closed, his breathing calm as if he were asleep. The knife the suspect held was pressed against Vanni's throat. "Don't do it," Hollis called out. "Then drop your gun," the suspect told him. He pulled the knife slightly and a thin line of blood appeared. 116

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Hollis hesitated before he slowly lowered it. As he did he saw Vanni's arm move slightly then unbelievably Vanni winked. The suspect's concentration was on Hollis and the gun, thus he didn't see that. Hollis had to keep it there so he said scathingly, "You know if you kill him it will just add another murder charge to the list with me as a witness so what the hell." He started to raise the gun again. Two things happened at once, Abbie appeared in the door and Vanni punched out with one fisted hand. Since he was on the table his arm was at the perfect level and his fist connected with the suspects groin with a satisfying thunk. The suspect screamed and doubled over but he still had the knife gripped in his hand. The blade gashed Vanni's throat then cut deeply into his shoulder before the suspect let it go. "Mother fucker," Vanni growled, his words slurred but intelligible. When Hollis started toward him instead of dealing with the suspect he muttered, "I'll live, take care of him." By then Abbie had cuffed the man and started to read him his rights. Hollis hauled him none too gently to his feet before making a call for an ambulance and a CSI team. Then he turned to Vanni with a scowl. "Of all the bone-headed, stupid, dumbass things you've ever pulled 117

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this one takes the cake." Vanni smiled back crookedly. "But it worked." **** "You will not believe this," Hollis said as Abbie joined him outside the interrogation room. "That… creature thinks he's a creature. A Wendigo to be precise. He's convinced that he has to eat flesh to stay alive, especially hearts but other flesh as well." "Umm, okay," she responded as she looked through the one-way glass at the man. "And why did he target gay men?" "Get this, gay men are more physically fit than normal men because they work out all the time so they can attract, and I quote, 'others of their species'." "You are so shitting me. Is he going for an insanity plea or does he really believe that load of crap?" "We'll leave that up to the shrinks to decide. We have his confession despite his lawyer's attempts to shut him up, so our job is over." Abbie nodded as she started down the hall again then she stopped, turned back to look at Hollis with a wicked grin on her face, and asked, "How's your man doing?" 118

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Hollis looked at her in shock as he prayed no one had heard her. "If you mean Mr Breda," he replied stiffly, "according to the hospital he was released an hour ago." She walked back to him and stood, hands on her hips. "Then if I were you I'd sign out and go make sure he's doing all right. After all if it weren't for him we might still be hunting for the killer. So move it, mister. Go let him know how appreciative you are." "Abbie…" Hollis growled. "Yes?" she said sweetly as she spun around and walked away, chuckling under her breath. **** Vanni got up carefully when he heard the buzzer. He would have ignored it if he hadn't ordered pizza for breakfast. That was the only thing that had sounded at all appealing after he got home and realized he was starving. While he waited he'd settled down on the sofa and dozed off. The ER doctor had warned him he'd be drowsy, the result of coming down off the ketamine plus the mild painkillers they'd given him after they'd dealt with his wounds and stitched him up. He pressed the button to let the delivery boy in then went to find a clean pair of jeans to put on. The one's he'd 119

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been wearing were in the trash because he was not about to deal with the blood stains. As he went back into the living room to open the door he reminded himself to call in to work to let them know he'd be taking the day off. "Apparently someone forgot to teach you that when the sun comes up it's morning, which means bacon and eggs, not pizza," Hollis said as he waited for Vanni to move so he could come inside. "Yeah, well that was the only thing that sounded good," Vanni told him, taking the box he was holding and heading to the kitchen. After he kicked the door closed Hollis followed him and ordered him to sit down. Vanni looked at him in shock, then much to his own surprise he did as ordered. Hollis stood in front of him surveying the bandages that covered his neck and shoulder. "There goes your career in modeling," he said with a laugh. Then he hunted through the cupboards to find plates and glasses and checked the fridge for something to drink. Vanni watched him, torn between being upset that Hollis seemed to be taking over and amusement that he felt he could. When Hollis frowned and turned to look at him with empty hands Vanni shrugged his good shoulder. "So I need to go shopping sometime." "Yeah you do." Hollis checked the freezer 120

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compartment and found some ice. He put cubes in the glasses, filled them with water then put them on the table along with the plates and sat down. "Eat," he said and opened the pizza box to take a slice for himself. "Hey now," Vanni protested as he took two slices. "What makes you think I wasn't going to eat the whole thing?" Hollis glanced at the extra-large pizza and just laughed. "Don't," Vanni said gruffly. Hollis looked abashed. "Sorry." He concentrated on picking off the mushrooms, carefully lining them up on his plate before he took a bite of the pizza. Vanni watched thoughtfully. "Next time I'll order it without." "Hey, I invited myself in, more or less, I can deal." He looked at Vanni then. "Next time?" "Next time you invite yourself in." "We caught him, so…" Hollis spread his hands, not looking at Vanni. "I just came over to make sure you were all right as per Abbie's orders." Vanni nodded. "Well you can see I'm okay so anytime you're ready to leave go ahead. You probably should go home and sleep anyway. You've been up for what, twenty-four hours already?" 121

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"So have you," Hollis replied tartly. "And you were hurt on top of it. You should be the one in bed and resting, not up eating junk food." "My life, my body, I'll damned well eat junk food if I want to." Hollis dropped his half-eaten slice of pizza onto his plate and stood up. "Make sure you put what you don't eat into the fridge so you don't get food poisoning." Without another word he headed out of the kitchen. Vanni heard the front door of the apartment close and sighed. "It could have worked if you'd have let it," he said to the empty room.

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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN "You look like death and a half," Gary said as he opened the apartment door. "What the hell are you doing here," Vanni growled while he tried to peer past Gary to see where Devin was. It had been four days since the 'Heartless Killer' had been caught. Vanni had spent them in his apartment when he wasn't at work. Finally boredom and, he had to admit, loneliness had driven him out in search of someone to keep him company. He decided Devin would be the lucky recipient. Or he had until Gary opened the door. "I live here now," Gary said tersely. "You're shitting me." "No he's not," Devin said as he came to stand beside Gary and put one arm around his waist. "And he's right, you look like death." "Yeah, well, shit happens," Vanni muttered as he started to turn away. "Damn it, come on in." Gary stepped back to give him room. "I… okay." When Vanni was inside Gary asked if he wanted something to drink. "We were just going to have a couple

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of beers on the balcony." "Beer sounds good, thanks." Gary glanced at Devin who nodded before leading Vanni across the room to the balcony. Vanni went to the railing to look out over the neighborhood then turned and leaned against it. "I take it you finally talked to him, or I hope you did." "I did. It… wasn't easy but, well…" Devin smiled at Gary as he came out with three cans of beer. "We're still working on things," Gary said. He handed Vanni a beer then sat down on the glider. Devin joined him, took his beer from him then looked at Vanni. "So, what's up with you other than helping catch a killer? You're famous now, you know." "Yeah, right, they didn't even get my name right in the paper, the idiots." Vanni chuckled, popped the can open and took a deep drink. "And nothing's up with me, not a damned thing." "Haven't been spending your nights at the clubs?" Gary asked, a touch of sarcasm in his voice. "Not doing that anymore, well not the way you meant it anyway. I might hit them up to have a drink and dance, maybe, sometimes, but that's it." "Whoa, that cop get on your case about that?" "No, Gary, 'that cop' didn't. That cop could give a 124

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damn what I do, or don't do." Gary glanced at Devin, an eyebrow cocked in question. Devin gave a small shrug before he said to Vanni, "I thought you two, well maybe there was something going on with you." "Yeah, so did I. I was wrong. The job is finished and he doesn't need me around anymore." "Have you tried calling him?" Vanni shook his head. "There's no reason to and I'm not going to demean myself by sounding needy. He's undoubtedly gone right back into his closet and sealed the door behind him, glad he didn't make the mistake of doing more than sharing a kiss or two, all in the line of duty, of course. So let's drop it, okay? If you all haven't eaten I know a nice restaurant not far from here." **** Halfway across town Hollis sat in his backyard, a beer in one hand, a book in the other as he tried to concentrate on the words on the page in front of him. It didn't work and he gave up. He couldn't get his thoughts off the last time he'd seen Vanni. As much as he wanted to shove all memories of the man back into a dark recess of his mind and move on with his carefully planned and 125

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controlled life it wasn't working. Hell, he couldn't get them off any of the times he'd seen the man who had broken through the barriers he'd so carefully erected to hide his sexuality even from himself. Monday and Tuesday he'd gone through the normal routines involved in shutting down a closed case and dealing with the new ones the lieutenant had assigned him. He knew Abbie wanted to question him about Vanni and did his best to avoid it happening, to no avail. She finally cornered him at the coffee machine when no one else was around. "So?" she had said, one dark eyebrow arched in question. "So what?" She rolled her eyes. "How's Vanni doing?" Hollis had shrugged. "Fine as far as I know." "You're going to make me drag this out of you, aren't you?" "Nothing to drag. I did like you wanted, went to check up on him, he looked okay considering what happened to him. I told him to get some rest and left." "Hollis, honestly, why do you, why are you doing this to yourself? I got the impression the two of you had made a connection, one you wanted, and now you're right back at square one from the sound of it." She'd put her 126

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hands on his arms as she looked up at him. "For once in your life stop being a hard assed cop who follows all the rules and let yourself be yourself. So you've fallen for a man instead of a woman, who the hell cares? Go for it." "I didn't fall for him and you know everyone would make an issue of it if they knew." He'd paused when he realized he'd contradicted himself. "If that had happened, which it didn't." He'd backed away, turned on his heel and walked away, without his coffee. Now, with just one night left of his two days off he was still in the throes of denial and he knew it. No amount of house cleaning, yard work, or what have you had been able to help him avoid thinking about Vanni. Even his dreams circled around the man and he'd wake up so hard he ached. "This is insane," he growled as he slammed the book closed and sprang to his feet. "How do I get him out of my system? If I can." He paused with a muttered, "Maybe…" then nodded, opened his phone and made a call. When he finished he went inside and got dressed. Half an hour later he walked into a restaurant, looked around and smiled when he saw his friend. She saw him at the same moment, returned his smile and when he got to the table she turned her face up so he could kiss her cheek. 127

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Once he was seated next to her, she said, "This is a surprise. It's been ages since we've seen each other, which, of course, is a good thing in one way." Hollis nodded. "Yeah, I'd rather not have to be on your roster if I can help it, Sarah, all things considered." "So why the sudden need to see me?" When he didn't reply she tapped his wrist to regain his attention. "And more to the point why here and not at my office?" "Because we're friends, I hope." He paused to let the waiter take their drink orders. "I have a problem but it's not police business, it's personal," he continued when the man left. "I gathered that when you called, believe it or not. You've never offered to take me out to dinner just out of the blue. In fact," she paused then smiled, "the last time you did, it was after that particularly bad case you were involved with two years ago. And yes Hollis, we are friends as much as we can be." She studied his face and patted his hand a moment later. "So it finally happened." Hollis looked at her in surprise then gave her a small smile. "Always the perceptive one. This has to stay between us and not be on the record, if that's all right with you. If it isn't then this is just going to be a nice dinner out with a friend and nothing more." "You need to talk so I promise unless I think it will 128

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affect your job this is between the two of us. That's the best I can do." "All right, that's fair." He picked up the glass of wine the waiter had quietly put down beside him and took a sip. "Not too bad for a house wine." Sarah tasted hers, agreed and told the hovering waiter what she wanted for dinner. Hollis took a fast look at the menu and placed his order as well. Then, after taking another drink he sighed deeply. "Start at the beginning, Hollis," Sarah told him. So he did, only pausing when she asked for clarification on something and for a minute when the waiter returned with their meals. "So that's where it stands," he said in conclusion. Sarah nodded and said succinctly, "To begin with, young man, you have to admit that you are what you are." "But I'm not," he shot back. "Oh Hollis." She shook her head. "I've known you since the first time you were sent to see me in the line of duty. It didn't take me long to figure out you were gay but as it didn't interfere with your abilities to do your job it wasn't something I was willing to pursue. Forcing you to face what you weren't ready to would have been counterproductive, at least in my opinion. Now you do have to because there's no way you can hide it from 129

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yourself anymore. The way you feel about Vanni will make that impossible no matter how hard you try." Hollis's mouth tightened. "Since we'll never come in contact again I don't see any problem." "What about the trial? He'll be a witness, as will you." "There's not going to be a trial as far as I'm aware. The suspect freely confessed to everything and his lawyer has asked that he be allowed to plead insanity." "All right, but quite honestly Hollis just because you don't plan on seeing Vanni again does not mean you'll forget about him. The very fact that you're here talking to me should make you see that." "Then what do I do?" he asked disconsolately as he looked at her. "I was… I hoped you could tell me how to get him out of my system." Sarah squeezed his hand. "The only way to do that, if it's really and truly what you want, is to talk to him honestly, without trying to hide behind the 'I'm not really gay' façade that you insist on erecting." "But I'm not…" "Hollis," she said sternly. He closed his eyes, buried his face in his hands, and sighed deeply. His thoughts flew, as they had so often in the last few days, to the two kisses he shared with Vanni, 130

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and to how wonderful it had felt to be held by him when they'd danced. Even that last morning when he had gone to see him he had wanted to stay, to take care of him. But he had been terrified to admit that so he'd managed to turn a few words into an argument that allowed him to walk away before he could change his mind. Finally he looked up into Sarah's piercing eyes and nodded. "I'll talk to him, if he'll let me." "Without the façade?" "Without the façade."

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CHAPTER NINETEEN Dinner with Devin and Gary had done just what Vanni had hoped, it had given him something to do that didn't make him feel sorry for himself. Well, he had to admit, not totally sorry for himself. As he watched the two of them together he did feel a twinge of sadness that he couldn't find someone who would love him the way they obviously loved each other. On the other hand, he thought, he was still relatively young. Who knew what might be down the road for him sometime in the future. That thought perked him up so when the guys had suggested they all go to one of the clubs for an hour or two before they headed home he'd readily agreed. Now he sat at the bar talking to a man he barely knew even though once in the past the two of them had spent a brief time together in the john of one of the clubs. The man was trying to convince Vanni to do it again, even to the point of thrusting some money at him. Vanni shook his head sharply. "I don't do that anymore. Go find someone else." The man sulked and begged but Vanni was adamant. Finally the man had stalked away toward the dance floor. Vanni took another pull on his beer then

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chuckled when he heard Mitch, the bartender, say, "Finally ready to run away with me?" Vanni turned and grinned. "Sure, why not. You're the only one who wants me for my mind, not my body." Mitch rested his hands on the bar to ask seriously, "Are you really giving up the fast life?" "Yeah, believe it or not, but don't ask why because I'm not really sure I can answer. I just… I'm over it. I'll still come around for a drink and some dancing but that's it." "I'm glad you are if you want the truth. You were never happy, not," he studied Vanni, "that you look exactly ecstatic now but you're… calmer, I guess." "I've maybe grown up some." "Not a damned thing wrong with that, Vanni." Mitch turned away then and went down to the end of the bar to take an order. "I guess not," Vanni said softly as he took another drink of his beer and watched Devin and Gary wrapped around each other out on the dance floor. "Get a room," he muttered with a laugh. "Is that an option?" a well-remembered voice said from beside him. Vanni swung around to stare at Hollis in shock. "What are you doing here?" "Looking for you. When you didn't answer your 133

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phone I figured you were either ignoring my calls or had it turned off so I went by your place then started checking the clubs." Hollis glanced at the vacant stool next to Vanni. "Do you mind if I sit?" "I can't stop you." "You could actually. All you have to do is tell me to go away." Vanni actually considered doing so then shrugged. "Have a seat." "Thanks." Hollis did and ordered a beer. When it came he took a deep drink before looking at Vanni again. He found himself staring into dark brown, questioning eyes. "I…" he said hesitantly. "I wanted to talk to you." "About?" Vanni replied shortly, not willing to give him any help even though his heart was beating rapidly from just being this close to Hollis. "About a problem I have," Hollis replied. He shook his head. "Okay, that might not be the best way to start this, but it's true." Vanni leaned back, holding his bottle of beer in front of him as if it were a shield, and waited silently for Hollis to continue. "You see," Hollis said, not taking his eyes from Vanni's face, "I met this man. Unfortunately I was stupid and wasn't ready or willing to accept that I could care about 134

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him because of course that would have meant I was gay." "So what did you do, walk away?" "I tried to. But I found out that wasn't the solution. You can't just say the hell with it when you feel a connection to someone that could be more than just friendship, or at least I can't. Not anymore." Vanni looked around the club as if searching for someone. "So where's this man who got you to drop your carefully built up walls?" "Right in front of me." "That would be me, and I don't believe it." He set down the bottle, his stare a challenge as he looked at Hollis. "I can't say that I blame you. I was an ass and an idiot and acted like… an ass and an idiot." Hollis smiled tentatively. "Any idea how I can make up for that?" "That depends. Are you finally being honest with yourself about everything or just looking for an easy out by hoping I'll tell you to take a walk and leave me alone? That would certainly give you the excuse to go back into your tight little closet and slam the door again." "I hate that damned closet! I want out of it. I am out of it, thanks to you." With a swift move Hollis reached for Vanni, gripped the back of his neck to pull him forward so they were nose to nose with their eyes locked. He kissed him then, and there was nothing tentative about it. When 135

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they broke apart long moments later they were both panting. "Damn," Vanni whispered. "When you make a decision, you definitely go all the way." "Well I haven't you know, not yet." Vanni took Hollis's face in his hands. "Do you want to? Be honest, Hollis, with me and with yourself. Do you want to?" Without a second's hesitation Hollis said, "Yes." And when he did Vanni knew the last of Hollis's walls had crumbled. Vanni dropped his hands, a smile lighting his face. "Would you dance with me first?" "I would love to." **** An amused grin lit Vanni's face as he and Hollis left the club. "We have the car situation again." "So you follow me. Easy enough." "Umm, I hardly have to follow. I do know where I live." Hollis nodded. "But do you know where I live?" "I take it you're planning on going straight home." "Familiar territory and all that," Hollis said 136

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hesitantly. He felt a bit foolish now but… "I totally understand." Vanni gave him a swift hug. "Your place it is." Once they were on their way Hollis kept checking his rearview mirror, certain that Vanni would have a change of heart. So when he pulled into his driveway with Vanni right behind him he sighed in nervous relief. He waited for Vanni to join him when they were out of their respective cars. "A house," Vanni commented as Hollis unlocked the door. "I'm impressed." "It's just a house, not much bigger than your place." Vanni looked around. "You have a second floor. It's bigger." When Hollis shifted nervously from foot to foot Vanni smiled. "Show me around?" "Sure," Hollis said, glad to have something so mundane to do until he could get his nerves back under control. They ended the tour at the door to Hollis's bedroom on the second floor. Vanni stepped inside to check it out. "Family?" He picked up a framed picture on the dresser. Hollis went over to say, touching the faces, "Yes. My parents, sister and brother, and me of course." "You were cute." Vanni put the picture back and turned to take Hollis in his arms. "Of course, you still are," 137

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he told him, then he kissed him. Hollis fell into the kiss as if it were the first one they had ever shared and the last they might ever have. A hunger tore through him with an intensity he couldn't fight and no longer wanted to. "Damn," Vanni murmured when they finally separated to take deep breaths. "If you can kiss like that what the hell will you be like in bed?" "Scared to death," Hollis replied shakily. "There's nothing to be scared of." Vanni traced a finger over Hollis's lips, chuckling when Hollis nipped it. "You're a natural, I think." When Hollis shook his head in denial Vanni stopped him with another kiss. This one was gentler, an exploration of the taste, the feel, the sensual arousing that a kiss shared with the right person can evoke. "This is so different from… well…" Hollis frowned when he once again regained some semblance of sanity. "From kissing a woman?" Vanni chuckled. "That I couldn't speak to." "God knows I'm no expert myself," Hollis admitted. He jumped slightly when Vanni touched him again, this time to start unbuttoning his shirt. "It's going to be all right," Vanni told him as he pulled Hollis's shirt loose from his jeans and slid it off his shoulders. His eyes roved over Hollis's well-muscled chest 138

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before he said, "We won't do anything you don't want to. If you tell me to stop I will. Reluctantly, but I will." "I want it all," Hollis stated with determination. "Damn," he said seconds later, "I sound like a… a…" "A kid having his first taste of sex?" Vanni touched his nipples with feather soft brush of his fingertips and Hollis's eyes widened at the thrill of pleasure that headed straight south to his cock. "You're not a kid," Vanni continued as he did that again, "but this is your first taste of, you should excuse my saying it, real sex." Even though his mind was definitely not on the discussion at the moment Hollis chuckled. "Bragging?" "Not really." Vanni's hands wandered their way down Hollis's chest. As his fingers traced the tensed lines of muscle he said softly, "Relax, this is supposed to be fun, not torture." He reached the waistband of Hollis's jeans and undid the button. Instinctively Hollis stepped back before he forced himself to stand still. "Do you want me to stop?" Hollis shook his head, his eyes locked on Vanni's face. When Vanni slid the zipper down and his cock sprang free Vanni chuckled low. "At least you came dressed, or underdressed, for the occasion." 139

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"Oh… damn…" Hollis groaned. Vanni had pushed the jeans down over his hips with one hand while the other one slowly stroked Hollis's rapidly hardening shaft. When Vanni dropped to his knees to take its head into his mouth, Hollis was certain he'd pass out from pleasure. Then Vanni released him seconds later, which made him groan in frustration. Vanni looked up and grinned. "I do this where you're standing you'll end up on your ass real soon. So… bed… now." When Hollis didn't move Vanni got up, took his hand, and gave a gentle tug. "Trust me it beats the floor." Hollis looked at Vanni with determination. "Fuck this, I'm an adult, I face down gun-wielding killers, I for damned sure can do this." He marched the few feet to the bed, turned to find Vanni right behind him, grabbed him by the hips and fell backward into the middle of the bed. He looked up at Vanni, sprawled in mild surprise on top on him, smiled and kissed him hard. **** Vanni stretched, opened his eyes, and for a brief second wondered where the hell he was. Then he remembered when he felt Hollis's breath on the back of his 140

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neck. He turned over to look at the man, a smile lighting his face when a pair of gray eyes looked back at him. "Good morning," Vanni said. "At least I think it's morning." He took a quick glance over Hollis's shoulder at the clock. "Yep, morning." "And a very good one, I hope." "You hope?" Hollis nodded. "I know it will be if you kiss me before we get up." Vanni looked down at their matched erections and laughed. "I think it's too late for that." But he kissed him anyway. Half an hour later they both rolled out of bed with muttered oaths about the hour and the fact that they had to get a move on if they weren't going to be late for work. Especially Vanni, who still had to go home to get properly attired for the office. Hollis let Vanni shower first, admonishing Vanni when he suggested they share one. Hollis was sure if they did, they wouldn't get out of the house until mid-morning. "And that would be a problem, why?" Vanni asked with a laugh. He had to move swiftly then to avoid a smack on the ass. By the time Hollis stepped out of the shower twenty minutes later Vanni was already dressed and ready to leave. 141

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With a towel around his waist Hollis followed him down to the front door. They stood for a long moment, eyes locked, before Vanni asked quietly, "Are you really all right with this?" "If you mean will I have second thoughts once you leave, I don't think so. In the end I came into this with my eyes wide open. So yes, I'm definitely all right with… us, you and me." "So if I came by tonight…?" "Call me first, but only," Hollis said quickly when Vanni frowned, "because my hours can be erratic to say the least as you should well know by now." "Yeah," Vanni agreed, "I'd say erratic is putting it mildly now that you mention it." He wrapped an arm around Hollis's waist and gave him a thorough good-bye kiss. "I'll call you this evening." After a glance at his watch, Vanni started out the door. As he did he heard Hollis murmur, "Well, Sarah, I'd say I dropped my façade big time." He wasn't sure what that meant but he had an idea it was a very good thing and smiled. **** "Oh boy," Abbie said when she walked into the 142

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squad room and took a look at Hollis. "Either you won the lottery or you got some last night." With an innocent look pasted on his face he replied, "I have no idea why you'd think that." "Let's see," she said as she planted a hip on the corner of his desk. "You were smiling, might I even say grinning, and," she pulled down the collar of his shirt slightly, "you've got a lovely love bite. So, being the detective that I am I'll eliminate the lottery suggestion and go right to the point of the matter. You and Vanni finally made a connection of the sexual kind." Hollis tried not to grin. "Presumptive that it was Vanni." "But I'm right, yes?" "Yeah." He leaned back, hands behind his head. "I had a long talk with a friend who pointed out that I was fooling myself if I didn't admit I was gay. Well, words to that effect anyways. She convinced me to go talk to Vanni and… I did." "So all is right with your world now." Hollis glanced around the squad room before he replied. "I hope so. It's right between me and Vanni. As for the rest of the world, we'll see." "One day at a time, Hollis, one day at a time. I'd be willing to bet you'll find out you have more real friends 143

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around here who will accept it than you might suspect. As for the ones who want to make an issue of it when they find out, ignore them as best you can because quite honestly it's none of their damned business." He straightened with a nod. "You're right, it's not. And now Detective Lincoln how about we see what's on the docket for today, and hope it's not another serial killer." "Sounds like a plan to me, Detective Robbins. **** Vanni walked out of his office building at noon to find he was going to have company for lunch whether he liked it or not. Not that he objected, in fact he laughed when Devin threw an arm around his shoulders and told him "We're kidnapping you." "Are you now? What's the occasion?" Vanni replied although he had a sneaking suspicion he knew. "We want all the details," Gary told him, "down to boxers or briefs." Vanni snorted as he let them steer him to a restaurant halfway down the block. "His choice of underwear is none of your damned business." "That means he doesn't wear any," Devin chortled. "Just how do you figure that?" the other two asked 144

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in unison. Devin smiled knowingly as he opened the restaurant door. "Instinct." After they'd gotten a booth and ordered lunch, Devin rested his elbows on the table as he looked at Vanni. "Tell all." Vanni grinned. "Use those instincts of yours." "All right. Let's see, at first he was hesitant, not sure he could go through with it, then his cop side kicked in and…" Devin waggled his eyebrows. Vanni looked at Gary in shock. "When did he take up mindreading?" "Hell if I know but I gather he's right." "For God's sake, guys, it's so obvious and it wasn't mindreading." Devin waited a beat. "It was a lucky guess but I was right. Right?" With a laugh Vanni admitted, "Yeah, you were right. And that, my friend, is all you're getting out of me." "You are going to see him again?" "Yeah, Gary, that's the plan, as often as possible given his job." "Going undercover with him again?" Vanni kept a straight face as he shot him a look. "You did not just ask such an obvious question." Devin thought about it for a second then chuckled. 145

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"I did, and you know exactly what I meant: on the job." "I knew, and I doubt it. That was a one-time thing and, honestly, once was more than enough. I don't think I'm cop material. Accounting suits me just fine." The rest of their lunch hour was spent eating and talking. Devin and Gary stopped prying into Vanni's relationship but as they left the restaurant. As Vanni walked away he overheard Devin say quietly to Gary, "I think he's finally going straight," and grinned broadly when seconds later they both laughed so hard passers-by smiled even though they had no idea what the joke was.

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CHAPTER TWENTY "Again?" Hollis could tell Vanni was trying to hide his dismay. "I'm sorry," he replied softly into the phone. "This is the fourth time in the last two weeks." There was a sigh then Vanni said, "No I'm sorry. I knew to expect this. Love you, and for God's sake be careful." "You know I will be, I have a real reason to now. Love you back, Vanni." After he'd hung up Abbie reached across the console to pat his shoulder. "Now you know how my husband's felt for the last ten years. Vanni will get used to it in time, honest." "But will I?" Hollis asked. "Every time we go out I worry that something will happen to me then he'll be left alone again. He's fragile, Abbie. He doesn't act it; he's got this tough exterior, but underneath I can feel it. I'm not the only one who's new to this love game." "If it's the real thing you two will get the hang of it soon enough. And Hollis, if you worry about something happening to you then it will. That's almost a given. We're all aware of the dangers but trying to second guess them because you're afraid he could end up alone again is an

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almost surefire way for it to happen." "I know that here," he tapped his temple, "but in my heart…" he shook his head as Abbie pulled the car to a stop behind a patrol car. Ahead of them was a convenience store. A CSI van, an ambulance and another patrol car were standing in front of it. Two officers were talking to three very frightened teenagers by the open door of the store. "Time to get to work," Hollis said as he checked his weapon and got out of the car. **** It was well after midnight when Hollis returned home. He unlocked the front door, went inside and tossed his jacket haphazardly toward the nearest chair without turning on the lights. Then he went into the kitchen to get a glass of milk. He really wanted a beer but he had to be up again in a few hours so he passed on it. As he wandered back into the living room on his way upstairs he thought he heard something. He tensed, then chuckled softly when a slice of light through the front window showed him Vanni curled up on the sofa, snoring softly. He went over, eased Vanni's legs aside enough so that he could sit down, and then gently shook his shoulder. 148

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"You're home," Vanni said with a sleepy smile. "I am, but what are you doing here?" Vanni sat up and shrugged. "I couldn't sleep so I figured I'd come over to wait for you instead of… well you know." He looked sheepishly at Hollis. "Stupid, huh?" "Maybe a little but honestly I like the idea that you… what? Worry? But honest nothing's going to happen to me. I know what I'm doing. I'll keep telling you that 'til you believe it." Vanni shifted so he could lean against Hollis. "I do believe it, here." He tapped his forehead. "But here," he put a hand over his heart, "I still get scared." "I understand." Hollis stood. He pulled Vanni to his feet then wrapped his arm around his waist to steer him toward the stairs. "You know if you keep this up we might have to do something about it." "Like you'll take a desk job so I don't have to worry so much?" "Not an option I'm afraid. Besides I'd go crazy if I did that." Hollis waited until they were in the bedroom before he mentioned the idea that had come to him on his way home. "I was thinking more that, well if you want, you could move in here." He smiled at the surprise on Vanni's face. "I know it's only been a bit over a month and all but look at it this way, it would save on gas and food costs 149

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'cause I know you spend more on take-out than any man should, and, well…" "You're serious, aren't you?" "Dead serious." Vanni nodded as he paced across the room to stare out the window. "I'll think about it," he told him. "I… all right. I know it's a big decision. Take all the time you need." Vanni turned back to look at his lover. "Is two seconds time enough, because the answer is yes." "Yes!" Hollis grinned like an idiot. With a matching grin Vanni said, "I just said that, you don't have to reiterate it." Instantly he was enveloped in a tight hug. Hollis started to give Vanni a kiss to seal the bargain but yawned instead. "Bedtime, I think," he muttered. "You think, huh?" Vanni pulled his t-shirt off then set to work on unbuttoning Hollis's shirt. "Go wash up, you can shower in the morning." "Damn, are you going to start bossing me around now that you're moving in?" Hollis grumbled. "Start? I always boss you around, when I think I can get away with it. Now move it." He gave Hollis a gentle push toward the bathroom. 150

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Hollis did. When he came back a few minutes later he found Vanni curled up on his side of the bed sound asleep. With a chuckle Hollis spooned behind him and soon he was asleep as well.

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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE "Now what?" Vanni growled when the doorbell rang. As the first one home it was his job to fix supper, an arrangement he and Hollis had come up with to make the cooking equable given Hollis's often erratic hours. He shut off the burner and went to answer the door all the while muttering that he was so going to put a big, bright 'No Solicitors' sign up that could be read from a mile away. He opened the door to find Gary standing there. He looked upset and immediately said, "Can you come help me? Devin and I had a big fight. He stormed out and I just know he headed to one of the clubs." Puzzled, Vanni asked, "Then why are you here and not out looking for him?" "I figured, well, if you came with me maybe between us we could calm him down so he doesn't make a big scene." "That bad, huh? Okay, give me a minute to put on shoes and a shirt." "We should take separate cars," Vanni said, to which Gary nodded in agreement. "Let's meet at…" "The Alibi, it's his favorite when he has to get away from things."

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"You got it. See you there." Vanni watched Gary walk quickly to his car with a 'Thanks' called over his shoulder. "The things I do for friends," he muttered as he called Hollis to tell him what was going on. It took him twenty minutes through rush-hour traffic to get to the club. He spotted Gary's car in the lot but the man was nowhere in sight. Since it was a Friday, he wondered how Gary had lucked out as he drove around the block twice before he found a place to park. He ran a hand through his hair to make certain it was lying right, his usual action before he entered a club, pushed the door open and stopped in shock. "Happy Birthday," voices called out, first and foremost Hollis's before he took Vanni in his arms and kissed him quite thoroughly. "It's not my birthday 'til Monday," Vanni managed to get out when he could talk again. "So?" Devin came over to give him a hug, immediately followed by Gary who did the same. The three men led him to the bar. Mitch grinned as he handed Vanni a beer. "Surprised, huh?" "Hell yeah." Vanni turned his head to look at Hollis. "You… damn." Hollis grinned in amusement. "It took a bit of planning to keep you from figuring out what was going 153

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on." "Yeah, like making me want to kill Gary for pissing Devin off again. I damned near told him he deserved it and let him leave without me. Then what would you have done?" He glanced at Gary. "Kidnapping

was

our

next

thought

if

that

happened," Gary replied straight-faced. "We knew you wouldn't desert a friend, it's not in you," Hollis told him softly. "Yeah, yeah, play on my loyalties," Vanni growled in reply, even as he smiled at his lover. "Okay, when's the party going to get into full swing," a woman's voice called out then Abbie strode quickly across the room to stop in front of Vanni. She looked him over and announced, "He doesn't look a day over fifty." The man who'd come in with her put his hand over her mouth. "Damn, I swear I can't take her anywhere without her trying to start trouble." He held out his other hand to Vanni. "I'm her husband by the way, Ben Lincoln." Vanni shook it then smiled when Abbie, who had managed to get free of her husband's hand, kissed his cheek and wished him a happy birthday. "How old are you really?" she asked. Vanni looked at Hollis. "Do I have to tell her?" 154

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"Might as well, she'll get it out of you one way or the other before the night's over." "Thirty," Vanni mumbled. "Oh to be young again," Abbie said in response. She smiled up at her husband when he told her she was hardly old. At that point Mitch pounded an empty bottle on the bar to get everyone's attention. "Since this is Vanni's birthday I decided we should do it up right. And before anyone asks, Hollis knows about this." Mitch clapped his hands and two very handsome and extremely well-built young men wearing nothing but studded leather codpieces came out carrying a large cake on a silver tray. "Shit," Vanni whispered, uncertain which was more impressive, the boys carrying the cake or the cake itself. "I think the baker outdid himself," Hollis whispered back, eyeing the amazingly detailed cock that was the centerpiece. Then Vanni heard Abbie's husband growl 'Eyes right' to her and he broke out in laughter. Once the young men set the cake on the bar, Mitch handed Vanni a knife. "You get the first cut, be kind," he told him with a grin. Vanni eyed the cake and its centerpiece and opted for restraint as he made a slice from the edge of the cake to 155

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the base of the cock. Mitch took the hint and when Vanni handed the knife back he cut the cake into pieces to hand around until only the cock remained standing it all its gigantic glory. After that the party was in full swing, friends and customers intermingling to dance and play to their hearts' content. By the time midnight neared, Hollis was leaning against the bar with Vanni held tightly against him, both of them tired but happy. Vanni turned his head to look at his lover and smile. "Thank you. I think this has got to be the best birthday I've ever had." "I'm glad I could do this for you," Hollis replied softly. "You deserve it." "I'm not sure about that." "Do not argue. Without you I'd still be lonely and alone. With you I feel as if I'm in heaven, as corny as that sounds." "It's very corny, and I feel the same way." Vanni turned in Hollis's arms to look at him with love in his eyes. Hollis smiled as he cupped Vanni's face in his hands. They stood like that just gazing at each other until a loud voice boomed from the doorway of the club, "Well kiss him, damn it." Hollis froze in shock. "Go on, we haven't got all night." 156

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"Who?" Vanni asked, afraid to take a look. "The lieutenant and three other guys from the station house," Hollis told him in a shaky voice. "What the fuck." "You'd better do as he says," Abbie said as she came up beside him. "I think that was a direct order." "Damned right it was," Lieutenant Richter agreed as he strode over to join them. Vanni could feel Hollis trembling and took things into his own hands. "Who am I to argue if the boss man says kiss," he told Hollis, and then he did so, not giving a damn who was watching. He did it soundly enough that he felt Hollis's cock rise to the occasion and whispered against his lips, "Feeling better?" "No," Hollis muttered in reply. "Now I'm stuck here until, well you know." "I'll keep you covered," Vanni chuckled. "After all, I have no shame, and it's not my boss standing there." Hollis growled low then looked over Vanni's shoulder at Richter. "How, why?" "Actually you can blame your partner, she of the loose lips." "I didn't say anything, I swear," Abbie protested. "Not to me, but you told Ben. You had your phone off," Richter frowned at her and she guiltily turned it back 157

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on. "Anyway, I called your house and he told me he was meeting you here and why. Apparently you didn't warn him it was supposed to be a secret." "Ben." Abbie rounded on her husband. "So I blew it, but it looks like it all worked out." "Why are the other guys here?" Hollis asked, still worried. "Because," Richter told him, "I figured it was about time you realized you're not the only gay officer around. Not that I expect any of you to go around advertizing it but at least you know you're not alone." "You know, sir, I think I could get to like you," Vanni put in with a smile. "I could say the same for you, young man. You've done a world of good for Hollis here, whether he realizes it or not." "Believe me, I know," Hollis said adamantly. "Good. Now if you don't mind I'm going to get a beer and join the party."

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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO "Hollis." When he got no reply, Vanni said it a bit louder. "Hollis!" Hollis slit one eye open to look at him. "Don't tell me it's time to go to work already," he groaned. "That depends on what you call work." Vanni grinned wickedly at him. "It's Saturday, it's noon, and I'm in the mood for the romp we didn't manage to get last night. You can consider it your birthday present to me." "Your birthday's not 'til Monday." Hollis buried his head under the pillow, then lifted it off long enough to say, "Wake me up then." "Well… hell. Guess I'm going to have to deal with this myself." Vanni began to stroke his hand over his thick erection, moaning, "Oh that feels soooo good. Oh yessss." "Holy shit, I swear, some people," Hollis said with a laugh as he tossed the pillow aside and took over, first with his hand then after quickly rolling on a condom, with his mouth. "Worked, didn't it?" Vanni groaned low as a rush of pleasure tore through him. "Mmm humm," Hollis thrummed in reply, the vibrations adding more to what Vanni was feeling. When

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Vanni made him stop he grumbled he'd been having fun. Vanni chuckled softly. "Not as much as you're going to have. On your back, now… please." Hollis snorted in amusement. "How politely bossy." But he did as Vanni had asked. Vanni pounced immediately, sheathed Hollis's cock, took it into his mouth then deep into his throat. "Damn," Hollis moaned as Vanni pumped his mouth over it. "Damn, damn… damn. Vanni if you don't stop I'm going to…" Vanni stopped to sit back on his heels. "Bend your knees… please." "You did it again." Vanni smiled, his eyes locked with Hollis's while he traced one finger from the base of his cock to his tight hole. As he teased it he reached for the lube and soon one slick finger breached the hole, then a second one as slowly but expertly he readied Hollis. The occasional stroke of a finger over Hollis's gland had his lover shaking in need and when he pulled them out, Hollis growled in protest. Vanni ignored that as he lifted Hollis's legs onto his shoulders. Then he slicked lube over his condom-sheathed shaft and pressed the head against Hollis's entrance. As he carefully pushed in he watched Hollis's face. "It's good, so good," Hollis whispered. "I'm good." "Very good," Vanni agreed. He gripped his lover's 160

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hip and thrust in slowly. Hollis gasped several times, as he often did, but refused to let Vanni stop until he was fully inside. "I love you," Vanni said softly as he began to drive in, moving a bit faster with each thrust. "Love you too…" Hollis arched up to take him in as deeply as possible, his eyes closed now as he rode the waves of pleasure, his hand on his own cock, pumping it in time to Vanni's movements. "Now," Vanni gasped out several long moments later as he put his hand over Hollis's to squeeze it tighter. That was all it took, Hollis exploded with a shout that was followed seconds later by Vanni's as his orgasm flooded through him. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," Vanni muttered when he could finally take in enough breath to speak. "Just… did…" Hollis said weakly. When Vanni fell forward onto his chest, Hollis wrapped his arms around him. "Love you, Mr Breda." "Love you back, Mr Robbins," Vanni replied with a wide smile, "very, very much." When Vanni lowered his head to kiss him Hollis murmured against his lips, "I know, my love, I know."

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CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE "You what?" Vanni eyed Hollis as if he'd totally lost his mind. Hollis shrugged a shoulder casually as if it was the most normal thing in the world to make Vanni half-owner of the house, and in his mind it was. "Share and share alike to my way of looking at it. We've been together for six months now and I think that's enough time. If we were going to split up we would have." "It's still, I mean damn, Hollis. And what do I have to share with you? Nothing." Vanni paced the length of the living room and back to stand in front of Hollis again. "Is it even legal to do this?" "Of course it is, and according to my lawyer it shows intent should…" Hollis snapped his mouth closed. He hadn't meant to say that much. Vanni dropped down on the other end of the sofa. "Intent? Exactly what does that mean?" "It means if anything happens to me no one can contest my will on the grounds that you coerced me into making you my beneficiary." "Okay, this is so not what I want to be talking about," Vanni growled as he jumped to his feet again. "You

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keep telling me not to worry, that you know your job and nothing can happen and now this. Damn it, Hollis." "Realistically that's the truth. It's about as likely as my getting hit by lightning or a car. I just want you to have some security. Is that so bad?" "I have my job, I'm not helpless. I did fine before I met you," Vanni growled angrily. With a deep sigh Hollis replied, "I know you're not, and I know you did. I'm sorry; I thought you might like the idea that I cared enough to do this." Vanni shook his head. "I know you care. I don't… I just… Damn it, if something happens to you, do you think this will… will make everything all right? Am I supposed to say 'He's dead but lucky me I have a house, that should make up for it'?" "Vanni," Hollis said quietly as he reached for his hand and held it tightly, "what's really bothering you about all this?" Vanni tried to pull away and when Hollis wouldn't let him he sat down beside him instead. "Every time the phone rings I think 'what if'. If someone comes to the door I have a fleeting moment of panic that I'll open it and some cop will be standing there ready to tell me you're dead. Six months or sixty years I'll still be afraid for you." He shook his head when Hollis started to say something. "Let me 163

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finish. I'm not asking you to quit the force, I'd never do that, I know how much it means to you. I don't know, maybe it's just that making it all… concrete this way… makes the possibility more real." He stared at Hollis. "Does that even make any sense?" "It does. It's what every cop's spouse, partner or whatever goes through. Abbie says Ben still has moments when he panics over some news report about a crime in progress, wondering if she's there and will she get hurt. And they've been married for more than ten years." Hollis put his arm around Vanni and said quietly, "Despite what most people think, being a cop is not that dangerous in terms of fatalities. We don't even rate in the top ten, for what that might be worth to your peace of mind." "You're probably in eleventh place," Vanni replied with a small smile. "And why do you know that anyway?" "My dear partner and I don't mean you, I mean Abbie. She's a repository of strange and interesting information." "So I'm not your 'dear' partner?" Vanni pretended to be hurt at that thought. "No, you're my incredibly sexy, wonderful, fantastic… need I go on?" Vanni grinned. "Please." "Where's a damned Thesaurus when I need one," 164

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Hollis growled in amusement, just happy that Vanni seemed to have relaxed back to his usual cheeky self again.

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CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR It should have been simple. Interview the brother of a possible suspect in a domestic homicide. The suspect's wife had been beaten and strangled after an argument. One so loud two neighbors had called the police. The brother lived in a middle-class neighborhood on the west side of the city and he was aware they were coming. So when the door opened all Abbie and Hollis expected was to be invited inside to talk. Abbie watched in horror when two shots were fired. The first one missed Hollis, the second one didn't. He didn't even get a chance to draw his gun. Abbie did. The suspect fell as she emptied it into him. She knelt by Hollis, begged him to "Hang in there" while she called for an ambulance then reported in. It should have been so simple, she thought as she gripped his hand tightly. She didn't let go until the scream of sirens rent the air. Then she stood and moved away to let the EMTs do their job. One of them looked up at her and she knew from his face even before he said anything. Hollis was dead. She felt someone put an arm around her shoulders and started to pull away until she realized it was the

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lieutenant. "It was just supposed to be a simple interview," she moaned as he led her away from the scene to her car. She watched dry-eyed when the EMTs loaded both bodies on stretchers to take them from there to the morgue. An officer came out of the house to beckon to one of the EMTs. Abbie followed when Richter went inside and heard the officer tell him there was another body, in the kitchen. Richter nodded slowly, muttering, "Probably the brother. Why didn't the suspect just run?" But he knew the answer. Suicide by cop. He repeated that much later when everyone was back at the station house. "And he had to kill one of ours to achieve that," one of the detectives said angrily. "At least Hollis didn't have any family, not that that's any consolation." "Vanni," Abbie whispered in horror. "Dear God, Vanni." She was on her feet seconds later. As she headed to the door, Richter grabbed his jacket and came after her. **** Vanni heard a car pull into the driveway and closed his book as he glanced at the clock. Damn, when did it get so late, he thought as he hurried to the front door and 167

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pulled it open. He smiled as he did and said, "It's about…" His words died on his lips when he saw Abbie and the lieutenant. "Nooo," he moaned. He backed away, hands in front of him as if to ward them off, to ward off why they were there. "Vanni," Abbie said quietly. She stepped inside and reached out to him. When he shook his head and moved away, she said firmly, "Please sit down." When he just stared at her she sighed. "Vanni, please. I know this is hard but…" "Hard?" he spat out. "Hard? I know why you're here. He's dead. Yeah, hard doesn't even begin to cover it. Damn it!" He spun around, grabbed the first thing that came to hand which was the book he'd set down moments earlier and hurled it at the wall. Then he picked up a glass sitting on the side table and threw it as well. **** Abbie looked at Richter in desperation. "Mr Breda," he said firmly, "please sit down." Something in his tone of voice got through to Vanni and he collapsed onto the sofa. Then he looked up at them with eyes so filled with pain Abbie immediately sat beside him to wrap her arms around him. "Tell me this is a dream, a nightmare," Vanni moaned. "I've had them before. This has to be one. It is, 168

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isn't it? He'll come through the door any second now and wake me up and… and… we'll have supper and go to bed and make love just like always." His eyes brimmed with tears. They rolled down his face and he did nothing to stop them. "I wish it were, Vanni. Oh God, you have no idea how much I wish it were." "Were you… were you there? Did he at least have someone who cared with him when… when…" "I was," she replied softly as she wiped away her own tears. "It's no consolation, I know, but it was fast. I don't think he even knew." "Did you get the bastard?" "Damned straight I did!" "Good." Vanni pounded his fist on his thigh. "I wish it had been me." "To get him?" "To die." Then he finally broke down. As he sobbed Abbie rocked him while she looked at Richter with stricken eyes. "Do you know if he's got someone to come stay with him?" Richter asked. "Maybe. I hope. If not I'll stay." When Vanni had no more tears left he took a deep breath. "Sorry," he whispered. 169

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"For what, crying? I'd have been worried if you hadn't," Abbie told him. "Vanni, is there someone I can call? You shouldn't be alone right now." "Devin. Yeah, Devin." He frowned for a moment. "But he might not… He's sleeping, I'm sure. No. I'll be all right." "What's his number?" Abbie waited a moment and when he didn't reply she told him to give over his phone firmly enough that he did it without hesitation. She scrolled through the numbers, found the one they needed and handed the phone to Richter. He took it and walked into the kitchen to make the call. **** Gary groaned when he heard the phone ring. He struggled awake enough to figure out it was Devin's and shook him while he reached across him to take it from the bedside table. Devin opened his eyes to look groggily at him then took the phone when Gary handed it to him. "Devin here. This better be damned important." He listened and suddenly was wide awake. "Yes, of course, we'll be there as soon as possible." When he'd hung up he looked at Gary to whisper, "Hollis was shot. He's, damn it, he's dead." 170

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"God, oh hell!" Gary stared at Devin. "Vanni." "We're going over there," Devin told him as he got up and looked for something to wear. "The call, it was Hollis's… Hollis's boss. He's with Vanni now." He pulled on jeans, grabbed a t-shirt from the dresser drawer, tossed another one to Gary then found shoes that he slid into without bothering with socks. He stuck his wallet and keys in his pocket and headed out of the bedroom. Gary was right behind him, hopping on one foot while he put his other shoe on. When they got outside Devin pointed to his car and Gary nodded. Moments later they were in it and on the street, making their way to Hollis's house. Neither one said a word, each lost in their own thoughts. At one point Gary reached out to put his hand on Devin's thigh and Devin covered it with his own. When they got to the house Abbie met them at the door. She hugged each of them tightly for a moment then stepped aside to let them in. Vanni looked at them blankly for a moment before he realized who they were. Then without a word he stood and walked toward them. They met him halfway and enfolded him in their arms. Gary was only dimly aware when Abbie and Richter left them to their mourning. The three men held each other silently. Each afraid 171

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to say a word lest it be the wrong one, the one that would tear them apart more than they already were. Then, finally, Gary said so quietly his voice could barely be heard, "I'm so sorry, Vanni." Vanni pulled back. He stared at Gary numbly. "Why?" he whispered. "Why him? Why not me, or you or… or anyone else?" "I'm not going to demean him or his death by saying it was God's will, because that's a fucking crock," Devin spat out in reply, tears coursing down his face. "Whatever happened, he didn't deserve it." Vanni looked at him, dry-eyed. "I don't even know what happened. I… they… they didn't say. I don't know why he died." He shook his head angrily. "Abbie said she got the bastard. I hope he died hard. I hope… oh God. I can't… I can't…" "Yes, you can, Vanni." Gary gripped his arms, instinctively knowing what he meant. "For him, you can go on, because you love him." "It hurts, Gary, it hurts so bad." Vanni dropped his head and the tears began again. "Of course it does, Vanni." Devin wrapped his arms around him as he sobbed but his eyes were locked on Gary's. "But you can't give up. Don't ever give up. Don't ever forget him but don't demean his memory by giving 172

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up."

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CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE Marsh watched the man as he had every Saturday for the last six months. He was tall and dark-haired, with a face so full of misery and despair Marsh knew the grave he visited had to belong to his wife or perhaps a partner, someone who he had loved more than life then lost. Seeing that made his own sadness seem almost mundane. He had cared about his sister but they'd drifted apart until close to the end when she had asked him to come for a visit. Marsh had found that he liked this city and what it had to offer. Since he was self-employed it had been easy enough for him to pull up stakes and move here, which he'd done just before his sister's unexpected and tragic death. His thoughts drifted, as they always did when he was here, to her final days and he sighed deeply. Perhaps if he'd said more, done more, she would still be alive. He traced a finger over her name deeply incised into the headstone then the words beneath it, Beloved daughter, sister and wife. Why in the name of all that was holy his parents had put that last Marsh would never understand. But they had insisted, as if by adding those words it would somehow negate what had happened. Or he supposed,

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knowing his parents, it was just 'what was done' and heaven forbid they go against convention. He sighed again and laid the bouquet of flowers on the grave. As he did he saw the dark-haired man stand from where he had been kneeling and slowly walk away, his head bowed. As always Marsh was tempted to stop him, maybe say something that might ease his pain. As always he thought better of it. It was really none of his business and what could he say anyway? With a shake of his head he too left the cemetery. He had work to do for a very impatient client who wanted their website up and running yesterday despite the fact that they changed their mind every other day on what they wanted it to look like. "No rest for the weary," he muttered then smiled. It was true but he loved what he did so he knew he had no reason to complain. After all how many other people could honestly say that and mean it. **** Break time, Marsh thought. He ran his hands through his already messy hair and pushed his glasses back up on his nose. His client had finally, finally given his okay on the new website and it would be up and running in the morning. But before Marsh put the finishing touches on it 175

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so that could happen he knew he had to get out of the apartment for a while. He looked down at what he was wearing and chuckled. But not like this. After he'd saved his work and logged off he went into his bedroom, stripped off his wellworn shorts and went to take a quick shower. Then he dressed in jeans and a turtleneck, ran a brush through his hair, pocketed what he needed to take with him and left the apartment. When he reached the sidewalk he paused, decided to eat first, and walked two blocks over to his favorite restaurant. After a good meal he was back on the sidewalk again. Music wafted out from one of the clubs across the street as a couple entered. A moment's consideration and he decided he had time to stop in for a beer, not at that club but another one he'd discovered when he'd first moved to the city. The Alibi was packed but Marsh managed to snag a spot at the end of the bar just as another man left. He smiled when the bartender said "Once a week, every week," and set a beer down in front of him. "You'd think the world had come to an end, Mitch, if I didn't show up," Marsh told him, grinning. "And someday I'll surprise you and order something else to drink." 176

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Mitch cocked his head to study him. "Nope, you're a beer man down to the core." "Is that a compliment or a put-down?" "Around here it's a compliment." Mitch saluted him then left to take care of other customers. Marsh leaned back against the wall to take a long pull on his beer as he watched the crowded dance floor. He recognized a few of the regulars, some here on their own looking for someone to hook up with for the night or just to dance with. Others were already paired off, not that they'd necessarily leave with the same man they came in with. At a table across the room he spotted one couple who was always together and smiled. It was obvious even from where he stood that they loved each other and had for a long time. They touched, and sometimes kissed and when they danced it wasn't a mating ritual as with so many others. Instead it was a statement that they were together and belonged together, just the two of them. Marsh envied their love for each other. It was something he'd never found and he suspected he probably never would but he'd grown to accept that. **** "Shy Boy is back," Devin said. 177

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Gary looked toward the bar and finally saw the man he was talking about. "I keep telling you 'boy' is not the right word for him. He has to be at least a couple of years older than us if not more." "Then he's positively ancient," Devin replied with a laugh. "I still can't figure out why he comes here if all he's going to do is drink and watch." "He likes the scenery?" "I guess." Devin looked around the club. Gary saw sadness well up in his lover's face, guessed he was remembering Vanni's birthday party and took his hand. "Better to remember than forget," he said softly. Devin nodded. "For us, yes, because it doesn't tear us apart now. But Vanni… damn it, Gary." He turned to face him and touched his cheek. "You have to promise…" "I have," Gary said quietly. "And besides, you don't know it will happen. Hell, I might be gone long before you then you're the one who'll have to move on. And we are not having this discussion." He leaned forward to brush his lips across Devin's. "Come on, dance with me. This is our anniversary." "Our what?" Devin looked at him in surprise. Gary stood and pulled Devin to his feet. "The anniversary of the day we finally agreed to live together." 178

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"Isn't that supposed to be live together in sin?" Devin asked with a grin as he very un-reluctantly let Gary tug him to the dance floor. "Umm, yeah, I guess." Gary wrapped his arms around Devin's waist then slid his hands down to cup his ass, which brought him tightly against his body. "And what sin it is, my man." With his arms around Gary's neck, Devin leaned back to look at him. "What some might call sin, I call love." "So true," Gary whispered. "So very true."

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CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX Vanni ignored the ringing of the phone as he always did. His head told him to answer it; it could be important. But he couldn't. It was all he could do to get up each morning to go to work. Even though he knew that no one there was aware of what had happened, he still thought the looks his coworkers sent him held pity. Imagination, yes he knew that but it didn't dispel the feeling of being pitied, something he couldn't handle. Actually, he couldn't handle anything. In his mind he knew this was wrong. He knew he had locked himself away in the house like a recluse, but leaving it except when he absolutely had to meant walking away from the man he loved. Now he sat and stared at the four walls of the living room and remembered the laughter they'd shared when, at his insistence, they had repainted them one Saturday morning. "Beige is so… beige," Vanni had said. "We need color." "And just what do you suggest?" Hollis had asked, one eyebrow cocked to give him that amused look Vanni had always loved.

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"Well… I was thinking maybe blue? Sort of in between light and dark. Then…" He'd gone on to describe what he had in mind, and laughed when Hollis had replied, "My lover, the interior decorator." "Damn it, Hollis! Why did you have to die?" Vanni moaned. He didn't cry. He hadn't since the night of Hollis's death. But the ache in his heart was still as deep and terrible as it had been the moment he'd opened the front door to see Abbie and the lieutenant standing there. "Why you? Why not me? It should have been me. I'm nothing, you were everything." He jumped when the doorbell rang. "Go away!" he shouted. "Go away and leave me alone!" **** Devin paused when he heard Vanni's shout but he was a man on a mission and he was not about to give up just because of a few harsh words from his friend. So he pressed the bell again. Then again. And when Vanni still didn't answer, he knocked on the door. He lifted his hand to do so again when it finally swung open. "Go away, Devin," Vanni growled. "Now." He softened his tone a hair to add, "Please." Devin shook his head as he tried to hide his shock. 181

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He'd seen Vanni since Hollis's death, but always in a suit and tie or jeans and a button-down. Now he stood there in a pair of cut-offs and nothing more. He was… emaciated was the best word Devin could think of, or at least very close to it. So Devin ignored Vanni's request and pushed past him into the house. The living room was immaculate. If he hadn't known better Devin would have thought it was a show home not a place where someone lived. He turned when Vanni said with caustic weariness, "Why don't you come in then." "I just did." Devin smiled at him and got nothing back. "And now that I have I'm hungry so I'm going to fix supper for us, that is if you have anything in the kitchen to eat." He didn't wait for a reply as he figured the best he'd get was an order to leave. That, he was not going to do. When he got into the kitchen he checked the refrigerator then the cupboards. He wasn't surprised to find there was next to no food there, although he did see an empty box crammed into the trash can. He wondered how many days it had taken Vanni to eat the pizza it had contained. He took out his phone as he strode back into the living room. "Chinese or Italian," he asked Vanni. Vanni looked up from the sofa. "Nothing." 182

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"Italian it is." Devin placed a call, ordered enough to feed a small army and hung up. Then he took a seat at the other end of the sofa and just looked at Vanni for a few moments before he said, "You look like hell. If Hollis could see you he'd be beyond pissed." Vanni turned slowly to look back at him. "If he could see me I wouldn't look like this," he replied icily. "But that's… that's a… a moot point now isn't it?" His voice cracked and he turned away to stare down at his clenched hands. "Yeah, it is," Devin agreed without hesitation. "But that's not the point here. The point is you're doing exactly the opposite of what he would have wanted you to do. You're burying yourself in this house like some damned Southern maiden who's lost the love of her life and intends to spend the rest of her time dressed in mourning weeds until she's a lonely old spinster with, hell, fifteen cats and a room full of discarded newspapers." "Discarded newspapers?" Vanni shot him a look before dropping his eyes again. "Crocheting then? Or knitted scarves that no one needs because it's never cold in Natchez?" "I don't knit," Vanni muttered. "Big surprise, that. But from the look of it you are burying yourself here, and if you're doing anything at all it's 183

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obsessive house cleaning." Devin took a chance and reached across the space separating them to grip Vanni's shoulder. "Look at me," he ordered. Vanni shook loose of his grasp but did raise his eyes again to look at him. "What, you don't like a clean house?" he muttered. "Not when you're doing it to keep this place as some sort of… of mausoleum in honor of him. Vanni," Devin took his hand and refused to let go when he tried to pull it away, "Hollis is not coming back. He's dead. But you're alive and, damn it to hell, it's about time you realized both those facts. I swear to God if Gary acts the way you are after I die I'll come back and haunt him until he gets his shit together and rejoins the human race again." "That's not fair," Vanni said miserably. "And he won't do it because he's had time to prepare. I… I didn't." "The hell you didn't! You knew what risks Hollis took. You told me yourself. Yeah, it was sudden but you always knew it was a possibility. So damn it, Vanni, get your damned act together and stop sitting here feeling so damned sorry for yourself!" "I'm not…" Vanni protested. "Yes, you are. You're not the first person who's lost someone, and for damned sure you won't be the last. It's been six damned months so, starting right this minute, 184

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things are going to change. The first one is you're to get your ass upstairs, shower, shave, and put on something other that what you're wearing." When Vanni didn't move Devin said in his best drill sergeant imitation, "Go. Now. That's an order, mister." Vanni glared at him but, somewhat to Devin's surprise, got up and headed up the stairs. Before he got to the top Devin called out, "And you have fifteen minutes. Any longer and I come up and drag you back down here." Vanni looked at him and what just might have been a tiny grin quirked one corner of his mouth up. "Yes, sir. Understood, sir," he said, then disappeared down the hall. **** "Feeling better?" Devin asked forty-five minutes later. The remains of their supper sat on the table between them. Somewhat to his surprise Vanni had eaten his fair share of it. "Yeah. I guess I was hungry." Vanni mopped up the rest of the sauce with a remnant of garlic bread and ate it. "From the look of you, you should have been starving. Let's get the dishes washed and then…" "And then?" "I haven't decided yet," Devin admitted. "We'll 185

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figure it out once we're done in here." "Are you this bossy with Gary?" Vanni asked as he began to clear the table. Devin chuckled. "Sometimes, when he needs it, and sometimes he bosses me around." "Just like me and…" Vanni bit his lip and started to rinse off the dishes. "Like you and Hollis. You can say his name, Vanni. He'd want you to. And just for your information he told me you were the bossy one." "I wasn't! Well, okay, maybe a little bit at times." He put the dishes in the washer, turned it on then leaned against the counter. "But I always said please," he said quietly, obviously remembering. "Politely bossy." When Vanni's face crumpled Devin immediately wrapped him in a hug. "I didn't mean to push a button," he said softly. Vanni essayed a small smile and asked mournfully, "Will it always be like this?" "To some degree I suppose it will but they say it gets better with time." "I hope so. I don't think I can go on like this." Devin stepped away and nodded. "Admitting that's the first step, and speaking of steps I've decided what we're doing next so go get some shoes on." 186

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"Why?" "We're going for a long walk." "At this hour? Why?" Devin laughed. "Why not?"

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CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN Vanni traced the words on the headstone with his fingers and for the first time since he'd started visiting the cemetery it brought a sort of peace instead of agonizing pain. "I love you, Hollis, I always will. And I'm not going to stop coming to visit you." He looked up at the bright blue, cloudless sky and smiled a bit. "I doubt I'm really visiting you unless you're up there somewhere keeping an eye on things. I guess… I'm visiting the memory of you, of us." He picked up the faded flowers he'd brought last time and replaced them with fresh ones. "I miss you so much but I have to start getting on with my life. You can blame Devin for that, or thank him, one or the other. That man doesn't pull any punches but I bet you knew that. Anyway he gave me a hell of a lecture last Saturday night and some of it actually sank into this bonehead's… head." Vanni paused as he traced the words again. "'Died in the line of duty'. I know that's how you would have wanted it if it had to happen. You were a good cop, and a great man. I think maybe, well I hope, a bit of it rubbed off on me." He stood then, rubbed his hand over the top of the headstone and whispered, "I miss you." He felt a tear run

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down his cheek and wiped it away. "I miss you, but I'm not going to break down again. You deserve better than that from me." He straightened, touched his fingers to his lips then to the headstone. "I love you, Detective Hollis Robbins. From the day I met you, well almost," he smiled, "until the day I die I'll always love you." Then he turned and walked away, head held high even as another tear ran down his cheek. "Always," he said softly. "Always." **** Marsh watched the man walk away and wondered what had changed in the last week. I'm too nosey, he thought with a chuckle. And too lonely, he added ruefully, living life vicariously through others. He knew being alone wouldn't change anytime soon. He was a loner at heart, and lonely only when he realized he had no one in his real life, only people he knew in cyberspace. His parents loved him but they were just as happy that he lived far enough away they didn't need to have him around except at holidays. And that suited him just fine. Of average height, with thick glasses and a far from muscular frame, he was their 'nerdy' son who had buried himself in books from the time he could read, then computers. His sister had been the 189

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vivacious one, always out on dates with one boy or another in high school and college. Then she'd met the man who became her husband. They moved halfway across the country two years after the wedding and that's when she and Marsh had drifted apart. He sighed and headed back to his car, determined to remember the good and forget the worst. To that end he drove into the city and treated himself to a good lunch. Then because he had nothing better to do, he went back to his apartment, went online and set to work on his next project, a new website design for a company based out of LA. As he looked at the two handsome men the owners wanted featured as their spokesmen he shook his head. There but for lousy genes and even worse eyes go I, he thought in vague amusement as he got down to the business at hand.

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CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT "Now you know I love you both, platonically of course," Vanni said as he looked at his friends across the booth's table, "but no." "So you're not willing to share our bed," Devin replied with a laugh. "Just teasing, Vanni," he told him seconds later when Vanni growled "As if". "But back to the question at hand, why not come with us?" "Because I'm not ready to, not yet. I'm here, that's a start, and we're all going to that movie after we eat…" He shook his head. "Why that one?" Gary chuckled. "Because who doesn't like sexy men in Lycra saving the world?" "Point made." "Okay, we'll stop pushing," Devin told Vanni. "But only for tonight. Now finish up or we're going to be late." Vanni and Gary rolled their eyes but did as he'd ordered. Ten minutes later they were out of the diner. As they walked down to the theater Devin caught sight of someone across the street and poked Gary. "There's Shy Boy. First time I've ever seen him outside of the club." Vanni glanced at the man in question and frowned. "I've seen him recently… somewhere. Damned if I can

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remember where though. Why do you call him Shy Boy?" "Because when he's at the club all he does is sort of hide in the shadows by the bar with a beer and watch. I've never seen him talk to anyone but Mitch." "Mitch is still there?" "I think Mitch will always be there. It's like his second home," Devin replied with a laugh. Vanni nodded and glanced at 'Shy Boy' one more time before they got to the theater box office. **** So he does exist outside of the cemetery, Marsh chuckled, amused at himself that he'd think otherwise. And he's a friend of that couple to boot. Small world. He unlocked the front door to his apartment building, went in, got his mail, and then headed up to his apartment. He tossed the mail on the table, stripped off his shirt and booted up his computer to check his email. Two were business inquiries, one was a confirmation from his bank that payment for a job had been made. That left a lot of spam, which he immediately trashed, and one from his mother. He read it and sighed as he checked the calendar. She was right; it was one month until his parents' anniversary and his expected appearance at the family 192

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gathering. That he did not look forward to since his sister wouldn't be there to intercede when his parents got too nosey. The last gathering had been bad enough but then everyone had still been trying to accept her death. After a long debate about whether he could gracefully back out, perhaps by telling her he was too busy with his business to take the time off, he finally ceded his mother wouldn't accept that as a valid excuse. "Thirty-two and I'm still kowtowing to them," he muttered as he sent her a reply to let her know he'd be there with bells on. He shut down his computer, no longer in the mood to work. A glance at the clock confirmed what the lack of sunlight in his airy apartment should have told him, it was suppertime. Chinese or Italian, he wondered as he looked at the frozen meals in his freezer. He opted for Chinese and a few minutes later sat with his feet on the coffee table, a plate in his lap, as he watched a game show. "Who is Millard Fillmore?" he said aloud, beating out all of the contestants on the screen. When he'd beaten them several more times, he chuckled. "Maybe I have a new career in the offing, game show contestant." As if, he thought. I don't fit the profile, not outgoing enough, not good-looking enough, not… nothing. He clicked the television off, put his discarded shirt back on, and left the apartment. The only way to dispel his lousy 193

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mood was to run, and run he did, down to the park, around it until he felt he'd drop and back home again. Hot and sweaty now despite the cool night air, he stripped down, took a shower and finally in the right place in his head he booted up the computer and got to work.

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CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE It took two more weeks and a lot of subtle and not so subtle urgings by Gary and Devin before Vanni finally agreed to go clubbing one night with them. As he got ready he still debated the wisdom of the idea but he figured it had been so long that there wouldn't be anyone around who actually remembered him. A couple of drinks, watch Devin and Gary dance, which as he recalled they did quite well, then he'd leave. They'd be happy he'd at least gone with them and he'd have taken another step to getting his life back to some semblance of what it had been before Hollis's death. That, he had come to realize, was something he needed to do. When he was finally dressed to his satisfaction he took a long look at himself in the mirror. He didn't look too bad he decided. Still thinner than he had been a year ago but no longer emaciated. "Smile," he told himself, and did in a tentative way. "Yeah, good one," he muttered but figured it was better than a scowl. Then he picked up the picture that sat on one side of the dresser. "I'm scared, Hollis." His voice was low and sad. "I don't know if I can do this without you. But I have to, don't I? For you, because well… It's what you would

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want me to do." He stared at Hollis's face for a long moment, kissed the picture and set it back on the dresser. After one more look in the mirror where he smiled a bit more than he had a few moments ago he left the bedroom. **** "Look out world, Vanni's back," Vanni said in a self-mocking way as he followed Devin and Gary into the Alibi. He had been hesitant to come to this particular bar because of the memories it held, but Devin had insisted. "It's like falling off a bicycle, you have to get right back on again." "This is a bit more than a bike," Vanni had protested but he'd seen Devin's point. When they got to the bar Mitch looked over, froze, then a huge grin lit up his face. "It took you long enough to make up your mind," he said as he held out a hand to Vanni. "Long enough?" Vanni was puzzled as he shook Mitch's hand then got it. "Well it is a big decision. But if it's what you really want. I was thinking say Tahiti, or the Virgin Islands." 196

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"Hummm, I'll have to see which one Beth prefers." Vanni looked at him in mock shock. "I thought it was just the two of us… running away together to live in sin." Mitch laughed. "Yeah, well, you know how it goes." He paused long enough to get them all beers before he asked, "So how are you doing, Vanni?" "All right I guess, thanks to those two," he nodded toward Devin and Gary. "I… it was bad for a long while, real bad." Mitch reached across the bar to pat his shoulder. "I'm sure it was, you two…" He stopped then said, "Can you…?" "Deal with talking about Hollis? Yes, pretty much." Vanni smiled a bit and held up the bottle. "Just make sure I don't have more than one of these though, okay?" "Understood. Hang on a minute. It seems I have a job I'm supposed to be doing." Mitch walked away to take care of other customers. When he left Vanni took a small drink of his beer then cocked an eyebrow when he saw Devin look longingly at the dance floor. "Go ahead you two. I'm fine, honest." "On one condition, we take turns." "There you go again, wanting to share me," he said with a straight face. 197

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"Umm, not in this lifetime, mister," Gary growled in mock anger. "I don't share with anyone." "Devin," Vanni grabbed his heart, "he's going to dump you for me." The three of them broke up laughing then Gary and Devin headed to the dance floor. Vanni watched them with a soft, wistful smile. "They make a good pair," Mitch commented as he came back. "Just like you and Hollis." "We did, didn't we? I wish…" Vanni took a deep breath, then a long pull on his beer. "I'm not going to break down," he told Mitch when he saw the look on his face. "I'm all right." He ran a hand through his hair. "I am," he said quietly. For the next hour Vanni watched his friends dance and danced himself, first with Devin who insisted on making ribald comments about the other men on the dance floor, then with Gary who kept glancing at Devin until Vanni chuckled and told him to go get his man. When they finally left the bar Vanni stopped his friends. "Thank you, both of you. I wasn't certain I could do this but… well just thank you." "You're more than welcome," Gary said and much to Vanni's surprise he hugged him. "You know," Devin told Vanni when Gary stepped 198

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away, "this means you are now committed to going out with us at least once a weekend from now on." Vanni cocked an eyebrow then nodded. "I think I can handle that." "Good." Devin hugged him as well before he and Gary took off for their car. "Yeah," Vanni said under his breath as he went to his car. "I think I really can."

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CHAPTER THIRTY Marsh walked into his apartment, put his suitcase and laptop down, and heaved a sigh of relief. As much as he loved his parents, and there had been times this week when he had debated if he did, he was damned glad to be home again. The anniversary party had gone well, it was the before and after that had frayed his nerves. To his parents he was still, and probably would always be, their nerdy son with no real prospects. The fact that he owned a successful business seemed to be of small consequence in their grand scheme of things. With his sister's death the mantle of giving them grandchildren apparently had fallen on his shoulders. He didn't have the heart, or to be more precise the guts to tell them that wouldn't happen. He was thirty-two and still afraid to let them know that he was gay because that would just add another layer to their disappointment in him. "Oh well," he muttered now as he crossed to the large living room window that overlooked the street, "at least I'm free again until the next time." He pressed his forehead against the glass and watched the people below him. When he realized he was hungry he checked what he had to eat and shook his head at the assortment of frozen

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dinners in his freezer. I guess I'm spoiled after mom's cooking but none of these look the least bit interesting right now, he thought. A few minutes later he was on the street as he tried to decide which of the local eateries he was in the mood for. He opted for his favorite one two blocks over and headed there. He managed to get a table by the window and entertained himself while he ate by guessing which of the couples entering the various clubs across the street would leave with the man they'd gone in with. When he was finished with his meal he debated returning home versus stopping for a beer at one of the clubs. The clubs won out. **** Vanni chuckled at something the man he was dancing with said while he mentally rolled his eyes at the stupidity of the comment. As soon as the song was over he excused himself and returned to the table. When he saw that Devin and Gary weren't there but their beers were he grumbled and flagged down the somewhat harassed looking waiter. He asked him to take away the bottles even though they were all half-full and bring fresh ones, a lesson well learned from a year ago. He smiled slightly when he 201

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remembered teaching Hollis not to leave a drink unattended the first night they had gone undercover to catch a killer. That had been their beginning and now… He sighed then reined in his emotions. It was starting to hurt less but there were still too many times when he felt the loss as if it had happened yesterday. Enough he chastised himself. When the waiter returned with fresh bottles of beer Vanni paid him and took a deep drink of his while he looked around the club, determined to find something to take his mind off of Hollis. He smiled slightly when he spotted the man that Devin called 'Shy Boy' where he stood in the dark corner at the end of the bar. "So why do you look familiar?" he murmured. "Who?" Devin asked, plopping down in the seat beside Vanni. "Your 'Shy Boy'. I swear I've seen him somewhere before and it's making me crazy." Devin shook his head in amusement. "So go ask him." **** Marsh watched in shock as the handsome darkhaired man from the cemetery came toward him. He 202

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expected him to veer away at any second so when the man stopped in front of him he gulped, looked up at him then dropped his eyes. Unfortunately that meant he was staring at the man's crotch. He immediately turned bright red and took a gulp of beer. It went down the wrong way and he gasped until he could finally breathe again. "I don't usually have that drastic effect on men," the man said with a smile. "Umm, well…" Marsh stuttered out. The man leaned against the end of the bar, one hand held out. "I'm Vanni, and I have a question." Marsh shook his hand tentatively. "I'm Marsh, well Marshall but I prefer Marsh because… well…" "Shorter and less formal. Yeah, I get that. I'm really a Giovanni but if anyone calls me that, well…" Marsh nodded, totally at a loss for words. "Look, Marsh, I know this is stupid but I've seen you somewhere before and can't remember where and it's driving me crazy." "The cemetery," Marsh blurted out. "What?" Vanni looked at him in surprise. Then he nodded slowly. "That's… yeah. I don't really pay attention to people there but… yeah, that's it. Thanks." "You must have loved him very much," Marsh said quietly. When Vanni froze, a flash of deep pain on his face, 203

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Marsh regretted he'd said that. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "No need to be and I did." Vanni smiled at Marsh. "I suppose I could say the same of you because now that I think of it I've seen you there, well sort of, several times." "My sister, before you get the wrong idea." "Ah ha, so you presumed I was visiting, damn, I hate that word but what else can you call it, but anyway you presumed it was a man I was there for. Why?" "Your face. You don't hide your emotions very well. There was always so much pain and anguish." Marsh paused then added. "Actually until I saw you with your friends a few weeks ago, I couldn't have said for certain it was a man. It could have been your wife." Vanni nodded. "But it wasn't." He pointed at Marsh's almost empty bottle and asked, "Do you need another one?" "I… umm… yes, please… I guess… I mean…" Vanni turned, caught Mitch's eye and held up two fingers. A moment later Mitch brought over the beers. He cocked an eyebrow at Vanni and said softly, "This makes your third." "I'm all right, honest, but thanks." Marsh listened to the interchange and when Vanni turned back to him asked, "He keeps track? Not that it's any of my business." 204

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"No its not, but yeah he does because I asked him to." Resting back against the bar he explained why. When he finished Marsh nodded. "It's good to have friends that care." Vanni's eyebrows went up. "You said that like you don't." "I don't make friends easily. And why did I tell you that." Marsh took a long drink to cover his embarrassment. "Because I asked? So, no friends but you have family here? Oh, hell, sorry." "Why? Oh. And not anymore. Not here. I came out here because of my sister then she was killed. Murdered." "Damn, Marsh, I'm sorry. That's, it's worse that way I know. My lover was killed too." "Murdered? Okay, that's none of my business." Vanni shrugged. "It was in the papers so it's anyone's business, I guess. He was shot by a suspect who wasn't supposed to be there. Okay, that made no sense." He took a deep breath. "He was a cop. He and his partner went to interview the brother of a man who had beaten then strangled his wife. Hollis, that's my… that was my lover's name… they said he knocked on the door and when it opened the suspect shot him." Marsh listened in shocked horror. "Oh hell," he whispered. 205

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"It was, it has been. I'm just starting to get over it enough to…" Then Vanni saw something in Marsh's face. "What?" "That was my sister." Now it was Vanni's turn to be shocked. "Your sister was the one he murdered?" "It has to be. I mean it has to be my… my bastard brother-in-law who killed your cop." "Fuck," Vanni shook his head. "This is… this is too weird." They both stood for several moments without a word said. The music and the cheerful voices washed over them, a contradiction to their somber moods. Finally Vanni said quietly, "Fate maybe?" Marsh knew what he meant and nodded. "Maybe." "You two look as if you're discussing the fate of the world," Devin said as he came up beside Vanni. "And that it's not good." Vanni smiled wryly. "Not of the world, just… Devin, this is Marsh and, hell, you're not going to believe this but…" When Vanni stopped Devin asked, "But what," as he looked between the two men. "My brother-in-law killed his lover," Marsh replied succinctly, his eyes lowered as if afraid of what he'd see on 206

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Devin's face. "Okay, that's just too weird." "That's what I said," Vanni told him with a slight smile. "What's too weird?" Gary asked as he joined them. Devin told him. "Yeah, I'd say that's more than weird," Gary commented when he'd finished. Marsh looked at the three men standing in front of him then set his half-empty beer bottle down on the corner of the bar. "I should… well… go now," he told them. "Why?" Vanni asked. "Because I don't… I brought back bad memories for you, and you don't need that, and if I stay here you'll just keep remembering so…" he said all in one blurted out sentence, not looking at Vanni. "So you're going to go home and stare at the four walls and think about how your sister died and feel like hell all alone?" "I don't know," Marsh replied honestly. "I've come to terms with what happened, mostly. I just… when I think about it I wonder if there wasn't something I could have done to stop it and if I had then… then…" he looked up at Vanni. "Then your cop would still be alive." "Hey now, hang on there. You are not going to start blaming yourself for that. Understood? I don't know what 207

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Edward Kendrick

was going on between your sister and her husband but I would seriously doubt there was anything you could have done to change things short of dragging her out of the situation." Vanni looked at the others who nodded in agreement then back at Marsh. "Did you even know things were… well, bad?" Marsh shook his head. "Not really, but I should have." Devin, who had snagged a barstool that had been vacated, said, "Why should you have? Did they argue in front of you? Did he beat her and you saw bruises?" "No. When I'd visit, which I'll admit wasn't often at the end, things seemed fine." "Then how the hell do you think you could have changed anything?" Marsh sighed, taking off his glasses to wipe a hand over his tired eyes. "I don't know. I just keep wondering if I missed something." Devin watched him and chuckled. "Not to change the subject, but can you see anything without those?" "Blurrily, yeah." "Too bad cause you're sort of cute without them." "Devin," Gary growled, mostly in amusement. "Well he is. Right, Vanni?" Marsh felt himself turn red as he put his glasses 208

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Edward Kendrick

back on and found that Vanni was studying him. When Vanni

nodded,

Marsh

turned

even

redder

in

embarrassment. "What? It's true," Vanni told him, still studying him. "A better haircut, tighter jeans, maybe a t-shirt instead of that shirt that is at least a size too big for you, and you'd be a hit around here. Hell even with the glasses you would be." "I'm too skinny," Marsh muttered. "Do you ever work out?" Gary asked. "It would help." Marsh shook his head and admitted, "I spend most of my time in front of my computer. I have a business to run; I don't have time for… things like that." Devin leaned back against Gary who was now standing behind him and said, "Make the time." He glanced up at Gary. "We could take him with us to the gym." "On one condition, Vanni comes too." Gary looked at his friend. "Now that you've put some weight back on you need to tone up again." "Hey now, when did this suddenly get to be about me?" Vanni asked in indignation. Devin chuckled. "It's about both of you. Marsh here needs the muscles because then he'd look sexier, and you need to, well, tone up as Gary said." 209

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"I didn't say I'd do it," Marsh pointed out. "Neither did Vanni, but he knows better than to argue with us when we set our minds on something," Devin replied. Vanni smiled at Marsh. "I think we're going to be going to the gym, like it or not." "Well…" Marsh said hesitantly. "Don't argue. Give Vanni your phone number and he'll call you to tell you when," Devin said in a drill sergeant tone of voice. "Now I have a man I want to dance with one more time before we head out." He stood, took Gary's hand, and led him away. "Whew," Marsh said almost in relief, "He's something else." Vanni chuckled. "Yeah, you cross him at your own peril when he's on a crusade. So, what's your number?" He took out his phone and entered it when Marsh hesitantly told him. **** Across the room Gary was shaking his head. "He's not ready, and why Marsh?" Devin

shrugged.

"Why

not?

They

have

a

connection, a shared sorrow. And when is anyone ever 'ready', Gary? Perhaps something will happen, perhaps they'll become lovers, perhaps just friends, and perhaps 210

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they'll walk away from each other. But isn't it at least worth their taking a chance?" Grant nodded slowly. "Yes… yes it is." The End

211

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Born and bred Cleveland, I earned a theater degree and headed to NYC. Finally seeing the futility of trying to become rich and famous in the Big Apple, I joined VISTA, ending up in Chicago for three years. Then it was on to Denver where I put down roots and worked as a costume designer until just recently. I began writing five years ago after joining an online fanfic group. Two friends and I then started a group for writers where they could post any story they wished no matter the genre. I've now branched out into writing on my own, primarily m/m stories, both erotic and just 'romantic', for publication. Blog: http://edwardkendrick.blogspot.com/ http://edwardkendrick.multiply.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1000011595883 31 Email: [email protected]

ALSO BY EDWARD KENDRICK:

Available at Silver Publishing: Everyone's Man Lies and Misunderstandings Hitman's Creed The Beast Within