The Forbidden Room (The Forbidden Room)

The Forbidden Room By J. P. Barnaby

Copyright © 2009 J. P. Barnaby Edited by: Valerie Waitt Cover photograph: Copyright © 2009 Christopher Helfin Cover model: Casey St. Clair All rights reserved. Except for the use of brief quotations in any review or critical article, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented including xerography, photocopying, scanning and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval is forbidden without the prior written permission of: J. P. Barnaby, P. O. BOX 462, Griffith, IN 46319 http://www.definatelystaying.com Any similarity to actual persons, events, or existing locations is entirely coincidental.

Acknowledgements:

To PB for covering her eyes with one hand while she patted me on the back with the other. To JJ for loving me for most of my life, and encouraging me every step of the way. To PT for teaching me some of life’s most valuable lessons. To VF for kicking my ass, for keeping me on track, and for being such a great friend. To KP for being so supportive in my quest to become published. To LL for being my favorite technical support representative.

Thank you so much to everyone who believed in me, and in this book – it is because of you that it now has permanence.

Chapter 1 The Ad: 26 year old SWM seeking disciplined roommate to split 5 BR house. Utilities included. Male pref. Call for appt.

I had been looking for a place to live for weeks. As a senior, I needed to be able to concentrate in order to get through my last year, and I couldn’t stand my roommate at the dorm. Ian would bring girls back to the room, scary ones, at all hours and wasn’t shy about what he was doing with them. Now, I was no prude, but I didn’t need to see that while I was trying to write a ten page dissertation. So, in the middle of the semester, when housing was scarce on campus, I moved out and ended up at my sister’s place. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my sister, but I was so sick of being camped out on Kimberly’s couch. Twins or not, hearing her and her husband Josh go at it at all hours of the night hadn’t been fun, especially since I was between girlfriends myself. 1

With my shaggy blond hair, almost surfer-like in its casual style, and strong, tall build, I generally didn’t have a problem finding female companionship. The problem was my relationships never really lasted. I kept telling myself that it was because of my single minded focus on school, but somehow I wasn’t entirely sure that was it. I just wasn’t ready to settle down and get serious with a girl. With my choices for grad school on the horizon, I needed to keep my options open. So, when I came across the ad on a campus announcement board, I was thrilled. Would I like to share a five bedroom house? Hell yes, I would. I really just wanted to get off my sister’s couch at this point. I picked up my cell phone and dialed the number on the flyer. “Bryant.” a terse voice, strong, but pleasant answered on the second ring. “Uhm, hi. I saw your flyer posted on campus and was wondering if you’re still looking for a roommate?” I inquired in a rush. “I am. What is your name?” he asked in that same smooth tone, but it seemed softer now. “Jayden Carter,” I answered, my voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. I suddenly felt shy and awkward for a reason I couldn’t quite identify. “How old are you?” “I’m twenty-two.” “Do you drink, smoke, or do any kind of illicit drugs?” he asked dryly. “Occasionally at social functions, no, and no,” I replied, trying not to laugh. The questioning went on for a few minutes as he was curious about my employment status; and my post college plans, which I assumed he wanted to know in order to determine my length of stay.

2

It was almost like a job interview. But, I guess if someone is going to live in your home with you, you’d want to know more about them. In fact, I’d probably want to know more about the guy in the next bedroom than the guy in the next cubicle. We made arrangements for me to come by his house the next day to tour the property, and fill out a rental application. I couldn’t imagine that I wouldn’t like the house, but I wasn’t too sure about Ethan. From his demeanor on the phone, he appeared to be a little uptight. Words nearly failed me as I walked up to the three story house the very next day. My first question to myself was what a single guy with no kids needed with all that space. The perfectly maintained house set off by immaculate landscaping gave the impression of a wealthy family, not a single guy looking for a roommate. Full, dense oaks framed the front porch of the colonial blue home set with a darker dusky trim, it faintly reminded me of a Norman Rockwell painting. It looked warm and inviting; I fell in love with the place almost immediately. I wanted this to be my home. Climbing the stairs of the large intricately railed porch, I could see myself sitting in one of the wicker basket chairs with my laptop, writing my next great paper. My nervousness grew exponentially as I raised a hand to ring the bell. Immediately, the door opened onto a well lit foyer, and the man I presumed to be Ethan Bryant stood framed like a Rembrandt in the doorway. I was surprised at myself for thinking the word beautiful at first. I’m not sure many guys I know would call another guy beautiful, but it’s the first word that came to mind. He ran a hand through his short mahogany hair as he opened the screen door to admit me. It was as if he was almost reluctant in the gesture. Had I not made a good impression? Nothing in his deep set, unreadable, brown eyes made me think that I was welcome, but I followed him in anyway. With my eyes on his back, I could discern that he was definitely a guy that took care of himself; I could see clearly defined muscles under his fitted t-shirt. I was willing to bet he had a lot of 3

company of the female persuasion. Girls seemed to like that brooding artsy type, and that’s exactly the impression that he gave. The initial meeting went well. Ethan seemed to be more comfortable talking in person, and I found myself starting to like him. After agreeing on terms, I was grateful when he decided to allow me to move in right away at a prorated rate for the month. I didn’t want to spend another two weeks with Kimberly and Josh. The following weekend, Josh and Ethan helped me move in. Josh had been a linebacker at the University of Southern California before coming back to Seattle and meeting Kim. His short black hair was barely visible over the mattress that he was carrying up the stairs. At six foot four, he was a formidable guy, but thankfully he was also a friendly, jovial guy. There was always a measure of humor dancing in those brown eyes. He and Kimberly made a good match, he kept her grounded. I could have done worse for a soon-to-be brother-in-law. The room that I had moved into, along with the converted office next door was perfect in every respect. I loved the earthy tones of the room, the amount of light that filtered in through the oversized windows, and most of all, the quiet solitude. It wasn’t very long at all before I was settled and feeling at home. Within the first few weeks, we had established a routine. Even though he was a doctor at the local county hospital, Ethan worked normal banking hours. I had a more flexible schedule, but occasionally, one of us would cook and invite the other to join. Generally, most nights we kept to ourselves, enjoying the quiet. It seemed like the perfect match. One thing, however, stuck out in my mind and I just could not get past it. During the tour of the house, Ethan showed me my bedroom and office on the second floor, his bedroom and office were on the third floor. While I loved having so much space, I couldn’t help but wonder about the fifth bedroom at the 4

end of the second floor hallway. When I had asked Ethan about it, he seemed to tense up and told me that the room was offlimits. His tone and mannerism suggested that there was no room for discussion on the matter, so I let it drop. Still, I couldn’t escape the feeling that the door appeared to grow each time I looked at it as I headed to my room. It seemed impossibly large now, or it was just the feature of the hallway that continually drew my attention. I found myself staring at it for minutes at a time before going to bed at night. What could be in there that would make Ethan consider it forbidden? Was he running a meth lab? Was he counterfeiting hundred dollar bills? He appeared to be fairly well-off, and I hoped that the money wasn’t from ill-gotten gains. I was worried about what was going on in that room, but I wasn’t sure what to do about my suspicions. Talking to Kimberly was out of the question; she would just barge in and confront Ethan about my concerns. She was bossy, and controlling, and I was sure I’d just find out that it was an art studio or something, and my relationship with Ethan would be out the window. I wasn’t comfortable enough with Ethan to ask him about it more directly than I had, especially since he’d been nothing but hospitable to me since I moved in. As my imagination caused the door to grow infinitesimally each day, I kept my bedroom door cracked open, so I could see if Ethan ever entered that room. He did not, and I decided that he couldn’t be doing anything too horrifying there if he never entered it. Then it happened. One typical Wednesday night, about six weeks after I moved in, I saw movement in the hallway. My bedroom door was half open, and I watched as Ethan walked with a petite brunette, her head down and her hands by her sides, toward the forbidden door. They didn’t interact in any way, but he opened the door for her and then followed her through. Though it made me feel guilty, I listened intently for a few hours to see if I could get any kind of clue as to what was going on in the room, 5

but I heard absolutely nothing. I found that odd, because while I could generally hear classical music coming from Ethan’s room on the third floor, I could hear nothing coming from just down the hall? Why would they be in there and not speaking, or … Then it hit me, and all of my nervous hesitations came back in full force. The room was soundproofed. I never saw Ethan, or the girl, come out of the room. It must have been well after midnight when they emerged, after I had fallen asleep. Ethan was at the kitchen table when I came down for breakfast, looking the way he did every morning. Of course, I knew he hadn’t changed in the night, only my perception of him. Knowing that our schedules were opposite today, I found the resolve in myself that I needed to investigate the room. Convincing myself it was only to make sure that I wasn’t being associated with something illegal without my knowledge. Deep down, I knew that it was something more, a puzzle that needed to be solved. It was reverse psychology, by telling me that the room was off-limits, it made me want to enter it that much more. Was he doing this intentionally? Was he playing with me? Maybe there was nothing at all in the room, and it was a test. A test that I knew I would ultimately fail. Ethan had been gone for two hours, and I was sitting in my room failing to study for my abnormal psych midterm. I decided that in the interest of being able to concentrate enough to pass this semester, I had to know one way or the other. If he was doing something I couldn’t accept, I could always move back in with Kimberly. It wasn’t an inviting prospect, but it wasn’t like I didn’t have anywhere else to go. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and found the determination I needed, and I stood up. I was betraying Ethan’s trust in me by doing this, but I couldn’t just keep ignoring the warning bell in my head when it came to that room. Once in the hallway, I actually checked over my shoulder. I felt like a criminal, just by going down the hall and opening a door. When he’d taken the girl into the room last night, I hadn’t seen him use a key, so it must 6

be unlocked, and I cringed at that thought. He trusted me; that was why he didn’t lock it. If there were truly something horrible going on in that room, wouldn’t he lock the door? With mounting trepidation, I reached the end of the hallway. I really didn’t want to do this, but I felt I had no choice if I ever wanted to be able to concentrate on something other than this door again; I needed to know what was behind it. Putting my hand on the knob, I looked over my shoulder once again. Finally, I tried the knob. It turned easily in my hand, and I pushed the door open. With a sense of shock and awe, I looked around the tastefully designed room. It was immediately evident that it held different types of bondage equipment. The leather padded tables, chairs, and benches were handsomely designed and placed strategically throughout the room. There was an understated audio and video center on one wall with several cabinets that I assumed held CDs and DVDs. The opposite wall consisted almost entirely of hooks and shelves where other equipment was stored. Just in a cursory glance, I saw handcuffs, paddles, and several candles. A shiver ran through me as I glanced around again. Once I knew it wasn’t anything illegal, I had to get out of here before I was discovered. Making sure to eat early, I hid in my room like a child when Ethan came home, not able to face him after what I’d done. I had exposed a private side of Ethan that he never intended for me to discover. To pass the time, and try to distract myself, I reread the essay I would be handing in on Monday. As I was polishing the citation page, a knock sounded on my door. Ethan had never knocked on my door before. He knew. My heart rate increased exponentially, and I began to breathe faster as I got up to open the it. Maybe he just wanted to share dinner? I had to get a hold of myself, and not jump to conclusions. Taking a deep breath, I answered the door. Immediately, my eyes went to his and I knew. There was a spark in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before, but his face was 7

expressionless. My eyes fell as the guilt rolled over me, and I knew I was going to have to make it up to him, I just wished I knew how. “Follow me,” he said in an even, yet authoritative tone. I felt like I had no choice but to let him lead me out of my bedroom. I was surprised when he led me toward the end of the hall and into the room. I had not expected to ever come in here again. Walking back to the far wall, he opened the heavy curtains, letting fading sunlight stream into the room, and then Ethan stood gazing out over the grounds at the rear of the house. I started to become edgy, why didn’t he just get on with it? What was the point in making me wait? Not wanting to risk his ire any more than necessary, I remained quiet and observed him. Finally, he turned around and spoke. “I asked you specifically not to come in to this room,” he said slowly, and I nodded. I looked down again, not wanting to see his disapproval. Reaching out tentatively, he lifted my chin with his fingers and looked into my face for an immeasurable period. I don’t know what he found there, but he seemed to come to a decision. “It seems that you have a choice to make,” he said finally, and I looked up. “You can either be naked and waiting for me in this room on Saturday at nine am, or you can be out of the house by the end of the month. I will fully refund your deposits, and we will part amicably.” Then, he turned and opened the door. I couldn’t even wrap my mind around the questions I wanted to ask him, and my face must have revealed my shock and terror at his ultimatum, but he said nothing as he passed right by me without another glance. I lumbered numbly back to my room. My eyes never closed that night, and I couldn’t face my Friday class. I stayed in my room contemplating my choice. Am I really considering this? Again, there was no one I could discuss it with. Kimberly would be horrified, and I couldn’t tell any of my friends that my roommate wanted me to become 8

some kind of boy toy. If I was completely honest with myself, I knew that I didn’t want to leave. In the six weeks that I had lived here, this had become my home. Until last night, Ethan had been the perfect roommate, and I didn’t want to give that up. As I allowed myself to think about the other choice, the choice where I stayed and became the boy toy, my cock throbbed. Everything in that room scared the hell out of me, but even if I couldn’t really admit it to myself, it turned me on as well. I couldn’t understand why, I’d had about a dozen girlfriends in my life. A few of those girlfriends had been adventurous, so I’d played the games - the doctor, the teacher, and I even tied a couple of them up – but those games were nothing compared to this. I had never even thought about another guy in a sexual manner. Realizing the dynamic of the relationship I was considering, I wondered if I would even be capable of becoming aroused with a man. What if I couldn’t? I would be humiliated, and then forced to leave. Why couldn’t I have just minded my own fucking business? Saturday morning dawned and after coming to a decision late the night before, I had finally slept. To help calm me, I had stayed in the shower longer than really necessary; my nerves were on edge now, wondering what Ethan’s reaction would be. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was a quarter to nine and I wrapped the towel around my waist. Closing my eyes, I took several deep breaths. I didn’t see the need to dress, so at five minutes before nine, I opened my bedroom door and walked down the hall to the room wearing only a thin towel. Ethan wasn’t there yet, as I knew he wouldn’t be. He would make me wait, drawing out my torment, forcing me to stand naked in this room that honestly frightened me. Looking around at the different equipment, I thought of a hundred different ways he could torture me in here. I’m sure he already knew each one. I closed the door to the room, and folded the towel I had wrapped around my waist. Thankfully, it was warm, but my nipples had hardened anyway. There were no clocks in the room, and my anticipation was almost tangible as I waited for 9

Ethan. Remembering my realization about the room being soundproof, I wasn’t unsurprised when I couldn’t hear anything on the other side of the door. I felt awkward, I didn’t know what to do with my hands, or if I should sit somewhere, or stand. Looking around at the chairs and benches, I realized I couldn’t force myself to sit on one in fear that made it feel like I was eager. Was I? I tried desperately not to think about what was going to happen. The minutes ticking by felt like hours. I began to wonder if he was coming at all. Maybe this was my punishment, maybe he just wanted to freak me out. Mission accomplished, man. Not being able to resist, my eyes roamed around the room while I waited. It was then that I noticed the pulley in the ceiling, leather cuffs dangling from it that held my eye for a moment, until I noticed the lever on the wall. This equipment was clearly meant to lift the subject by the arms and allow them to hang there while they were violated. My heart rate accelerated, and I tried to focus my eyes somewhere else. They landed on something that looked like black mountain climbing rope, cut into different lengths hanging on pegs on the wall. These two things in close proximity to each other forcibly brought home the reality of what I was agreeing to. I turned and headed for the door. Just as I got to the front of the room, I saw the knob turn. My breath came in wild gasps and, I froze where I stood. My panic was barely contained when he stepped through the door wearing a plain grey t-shirt and black leather pants, the quiet authority that radiated from him was unmistakable. Without acknowledging me, he walked to the stereo on the wall, turned it on, and classical music began to flow through the speakers. Then, he turned to me. My breathing still wasn’t under control, but I tried to stand still as he came toward me. “Today, we are going to assess your potential,” he said, in a hard voice as he walked in a circle around me. “I can see that you are only partially erect, most likely because of your fear.” I felt his muscled body against me from behind, his clothes rubbing against me reminded me that I was painfully naked. I 10

felt more than bare now, I felt vulnerable. With his lips at my ear, he murmured, “I have thought about you like this countless times since you moved into my house. Do you feel what you do to me?” Pressing his hips into my buttocks, I felt his erection hard against me. To my utter mortification, my body reacted, and I was now fully erect. “Very nice,” he said and walked over to where the black ropes hung on the wall. He picked up a black bar with metal rings at each end, and several lengths of rope before returning to stand right in front of me. “By choosing this option, you are agreeing to become my submissive. I will train you, discipline you, and meet your sexual needs. You may not engage in other sexual relationships or satisfy your own needs, and you will follow my instructions to the letter. Do you understand?” I nodded, and he continued. “You will have two safe words. If you do not wish to continue our relationship, and you wish to leave this house as we discussed previously, you need only to say the word. That word is ‘sunset’. This is the end of who you once were, and the beginning of your new life. Do you wish to use that word now?” Reminding myself that I had already made this decision, I shook my head, and then looked down at the floor. “Your other safe word, the one you will use to stop any scene is ‘red’. We will discuss that in more detail later. Are you ready?” I took a deep, shaky breath, trying not to imagine what was coming and then I nodded. “Then we will begin,” he said simply, and walked behind me. “Cross your wrists behind your back.” I put my arms behind my back and felt him use one of the lengths of rope to bind them tightly. “On your knees” he said in a sharp voice. Carefully, because of my bound hands, I lowered myself to the floor. “Spread your legs.” Doing as he asked, he placed the bar between my knees. When he tied each of my knees to the metal loops on either end of the bar, I felt wholly debased, now naked and spread for him on his hardwood floor. He brought one of the lower benches over, and after setting it in front of me, 11

adjusted it to my height using a set of pegs on each side. Then, with his warn hand between my shoulder blades, he pushed me over the ottoman so that my stomach rested against the cool leather. His touch was gentle, but firm giving me no option to resist him. “Now, you will be punished for your transgression. I told you not to enter this room, however you felt compelled to do so. This will help you to understand that you will obey me,” he said, and I watched him walk to the wall and pull down a long wooden paddle. Immediately, I squirmed on the bench wondering if I should use the word. Could I do this? When the first blow came, I was unprepared for it and jerked forward into the bench. I didn’t cry out, I couldn’t. I was determined not to give him the satisfaction of hearing me react to his punishment. Crack after crack of the paddle resounded through the room, and I suddenly understood why the room was soundproofed. Even though I never made a sound throughout my punishment, the sheer humiliation of the setting was soon apparent as my hips moved to absorb the blows. My erection continuously rubbed against the soft leather padding of the bench making me become incredibly aroused. How could I get so hard being paddled by another man? Finally, it was over. When he rubbed my sore buttocks with his large hand, I couldn’t help the moan that escaped me. It stung, but the tenderness he showed felt nice. As he walked around the bench, I couldn’t meet his eye, so I dropped my head. Stroking my hair affectionately, he said “You took that well, Jayden. I am impressed.” Pulling on my shoulders so I straightened up, he pushed the bench out of the way, and looked hungrily at my body. “You seemed to enjoy it as well,” he mused, and my face flamed. He stepped closer to me and I watched in horrified fascination as he released a snap on the front of his pants and removed a panel, his erection now framed by the opening in his clothing. Still, he was clothed, and I was naked. One more level of subjugation I was required to face. 12

I felt his hand stroke my cheek slowly, and then he said the word I had been dreading. “Open.” The panic welled in my chest, but I willingly opened my mouth for another man. Of course, this act had been performed on me, but I really had little idea what to do now. My mind had gone blank with the sheer depravity of it. I felt his erection enter my mouth, and my mind rebelled against it, but as I tried to turn my head, he held it fast. Soon I could taste him, the flavor of salt and musk strong on my tongue, and I forced myself to breathe through my nose, relaxing as he released my head. It would have been better if he’d have forced me, but he did not move once he was fully in my mouth, and it was now up to me to willingly perform the act. This must have been what he meant by assessing me. With tears welling at the corners of my eyes, I began to move. Softly, he moaned as I carefully bobbed my head back and forth sucking him. “Jayden, look at me,” he demanded, and I opened my eyes to look up at him to find his brown eyes studying me for a moment before his head fell back and he put his fingers in my hair. He began to gently guide my movements. Feeling the rigid texture of him as he fucked my mouth, I had to concentrate hard on breathing through my nose as his thrusts increased in tempo. Instinctively, I sucked harder just wanting it to be over. The sounds he made excited me, and my hips moved in a softer rhythm that complemented his. I was impossibly hard. “Swallow it,” he said tersely, through his teeth. Seconds later, he stopped moving while deep in my mouth. I felt the hot, sticky semen stream into my mouth and I swallowed around him, forcing myself to concentrate on breathing and swallowing, and nothing else. When he was finished, he pulled out slowly, my jaws aching when I could finally move them again. One tear slipped slowly down my cheek as I thought about what I had just done. Not only what I had done, but 13

about how it had made me feel. Degraded but aroused, humiliated but almost willing to beg for more, it scared me how much I wanted it. My erection was actually painful now, and all I could think about was how I would even resort to begging him for release. As I looked up into Ethan’s face, he smiled down at me, displaying his approval. He stroked my hair softly, and I realized then that this day would leave me irrevocably altered. Still on my knees before Ethan, he looked down at me speculatively as he tucked himself back inside his pants and refastened them. My first reaction was disappointment, followed quickly by horror. What the hell was wrong with me? How could I be disappointed in him putting his cock back in his pants? Kneeling in front of me, he untied my legs from the bar, and then moved behind me to quickly untie my hands. “Stand,” he said, and my muscles painfully protested as I complied. I refrained from rubbing my arms, and stood before him with my head down. “You have a beautiful habit of looking down when you stand before me. That is very good, Jayden,” he said, and I could hear a note of pride in his voice. I had pleased him, and I felt a stirring of something, but in the next instant it was gone. Turning from me, he walked to the largest table, and then instructed, “On the table, all the way at the end.” I followed him to the table, and did as I was told. The leather was cool beneath my flaming buttocks, still red from the paddling. As he indicated for me to do, I sat at the very edge of the table with my legs over the end. Pushing my shoulders back until I was lying down, he pulled my hands over my head before grabbing longer ropes from the wall to secure my hands to the top of the table and re-tie my knees to the bar, pulling it towards the top of the table. I ended up with my knees pressed against my chest while he tied another set ropes from the head of the table to the bar preventing me from closing my legs, or putting them down. 14

I felt horribly exposed, and another tear fell. Closing my eyes, I tried not to think about what was coming when suddenly, I felt warm slick hands on my raging erection, the warming gel he had applied to his hands make the feeling mind-blowing. There was no hesitation or awkward strokes; he knew exactly what gave me the greatest pleasure. It was like my body was a musical instrument, and he was my master. In effect, I guess that’s exactly what he was. I couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped me as he used one hand to stroke the head with his palm, and the other to stroke the whole length. Being bound, I was unable to rock my hips up hard enough. My body was begging for release when I felt him remove one of his hands, and continue stroking with the other. When I felt him applying the gel to my anus, my mind shouted at me that I should panic, that I should scream the fucking safe word and get the hell out of here, but my body ached for the hand that was stroking me. First one, then two, fingers slid slowly in and out of me. The feeling was so far beyond anything I’d experienced that I moaned and whimpered without restraint now, using the only avenue allowed to me. He continued to violate me with his fingers, pushing them deeper with every stroke. I could feel it, I was so close now. Then inexplicably, he stopped his ministrations, and I let out a strangled whimper at the loss. I felt his hands spreading my buttocks open to him, and I emitted a small frightened cry as I felt the head of his erection pressing into me. Closing my eyes tightly, I locked my jaw against the pain. My ass was on fire as he groaned softly and slowly pushed deeper. When I opened my eyes again, his eyes were on my face, watching carefully. When I felt his strong leather-clad thighs against my skin, I knew he was all the way inside me, and I felt stretched as his fingers dug into my hips to hold me steady. He was letting me become accommodated to his size, and I saw the effort it cost him to hold perfectly still. Slowly, he pulled back and then pushed forward again, 15

impaling me. I tried to remain quiet, to hide the mounting feelings in the pit of my stomach. This couldn’t be happening. Ethan began to move faster, his hips slapping against my buttocks with each hard thrust. He had both hands on my hips, steadying me as he drove into me. I just kept my eyes closed, I couldn’t let him see. My head rocked back from side to side, trying to stop the inevitable, but I knew that I couldn’t. Within minutes, his moans had turned into grunts and he fucked me faster. The base animalistic sounds coming from him, plus the friction from his thrusts pushed me to my breaking point. A low sob escaped me as my orgasm ripped through me. I came without him stroking me, or touching my erection in any way. It came about strictly from being bound to this table and taken with sheer animal force by another man, and I couldn’t hold back the tears now, it was just too much. Ethan gave one last thrust, harder than the others, and I felt his orgasm inside of me. He squeezed my hips with his fingers, and groaned loudly as he filled me, or the condom covering his cock anyway. Breathing heavily, he pulled back, watching me as he started to calm. I could feel his eyes on me, and I sobbed silently at the degradation. My legs were still bound in the air, and I felt the cool air on my skin, still wet from the lube. When he moved to the head of the table, and stroked my face, I noticed that again, only his genital area was exposed and he was still fully clothed. Wiping away my tears, he kissed my forehead gently. Then he untied me quickly, and after I got up off the table, I knelt quickly on the floor, and pressed my forehead to his thigh. I don’t know what compulsion caused me to do this, but it felt oddly natural. Ethan ran his fingers though my hair, and then took my hand pulling me to my feet. I avoided his gaze. “Jayden, your assessment is complete,” he said, pulling my face up so that I would look at him. “Now, I have to ask you something. I will let you remain in the house regardless of your answer. You have incredible potential that you are only just 16

beginning to realize. I want you, and I will extend this offer to you only once. Are you ready to become my sub?” I looked down and thought about his question. I could continue to live here no matter what I decided. Feeling extraordinarily disturbed that I had to think about the choice rather than just saying no, I weighed my options while he patiently watched me, knowing the decision was not to be made lightly. I thought about how I felt under his paddle, under his hands, impaled by him. “Yes,” I whispered, almost to myself. “Yes…” he repeated, trailing off, a question in his tone. “Yes, Master Ethan.” *

*

*

I wasn’t able to sleep that night, images from our session that morning, and our subsequent conversation, rolled over and over in my mind. The memories of the session bombarded my mind; I could still feel the soft texture of the leather bench under me as me paddled me soundly. I could remember every note of the song that played in the background, and the taste of him in my mouth, every detail etched in perfect clarity. The backs of my legs ached from being bound in one position for so long. No nuance of my experience today had been lost. They each replayed behind my closed lids like some foreign film – familiar, but not easily understood. I rolled to my side, wincing slightly in discomfort; this new tenderness brought to the forefront my more painful conflict. The low groan that he had uttered as he had entered me sounded in my ears once more. Just the memory of it was starting to make me hard. I could almost still feel him inside me because of the soreness. What did it mean? Was I gay? When Ethan had explained this new life to me, he had said that it was purely a sexual relationship. Would I ever have a normal relationship again? 17

Finally, the sun rose, and I had an excuse to escape my thoughts. Grabbing a towel, I walked into the bathroom. It was surreal; everything was the same as the day before - everything but me. I felt like a completely different person, a person I didn’t know. That feeling only intensified when I removed the leather wrist cuff Ethan had given me as a physical token of my subservience. He had said that generally subs wear collars as a sign of their commitment, but that he preferred to be a little more subtle. The black leather cuff was embossed with his family crest, a sign of his possession. The only time I was allowed to remove it was to bathe, or to treat it. I set it carefully on the countertop, and got into the shower. For a moment, as I stood beneath the spray, I felt like a weight had been lifted, free of the restraint of the cuff, I was Jayden Lee Carter again. I felt like a man, like my own man again. I couldn’t explain, even to myself, the feelings of emasculation brought about by just the memory of that room. Something had been taken from me during my time there, but in the back of my mind, I knew that much more had been given. I did not make this decision lightly, and I couldn’t deny the pull I felt toward Ethan and his authority over my body. Then, the realization washed over me that I felt empty without his mark. I shook my head to dispel the image of him standing above me as I dropped to my knees to serve him. My erection was painful now, thinking about his masterful handling of me. It disturbed me that I didn’t even consider masturbating in the shower. Reducing the water temperature, I wondered at how with the utterance of three simple words of affirmation, my life had stopped being my own. I stopped by the hospital so that Ethan could administer a physical exam and a series of tests for sexually transmitted diseases. He said that once the test results came back, I could be an active member of the local community, and he would also no longer need to use a condom. Then, I spent the rest of the day preparing for the next week’s courses. Sadly, even though I had midterms for the first few days, I often found my mind 18

otherwise engaged as I kept going back to the decision I had made, the life I had chosen. That night, I started to feel a panic building in my chest as ten o’clock neared. Ethan was about to get off of a double shift at the hospital and would be home soon. When I realized that I couldn’t face him, I practically ran from the house, got on my bike and screeched out of the drive. Its wheels carried me to a club that I had frequented before moving in to the new house. Walking into the bar, I nodded to get the bartender’s attention, a big man with large biceps under his muscle teeshirt. Surprisingly, I was not at all attracted to him, even though he was nice looking; I had no real urge to look. I thought that in the world outside the house my attractions, my reactions would have changed. It made the feeling of being off-balance that much worse. If I wasn’t attracted to other guys, if I wasn’t gay, then why was I so turned on by Ethan? The bartender looked at me a little longer than necessary, and I found myself pulling my sleeve down over my new cuff, which felt huge on my wrist. It felt like a neon sign, like people could look at me and see what I had become. I ordered two Jack and Cokes and took them to a table in the back, away from the other patrons. Even though it wasn’t crowded, for a Sunday night, it was fairly steady. “Hey handsome, where’ve you been?” I looked up and saw Jennifer, one of the regulars of the bar, standing above me. She was ordinary; a bob growing out of its shape framed her mousey face. Her small hazel eyes alight with that hungry, almost desperate stare she always fixed me with. It bothered me that I wasn’t sure that she was a welcome sight. After all, we had talked about hooking up several times, and the sex probably would have been good, we both knew it would be a casual thing, just something to fill the need. I thought maybe tonight, she would get her chance. Tonight, I may have something to prove to myself, but when she sat down next to me, and my eyes darted around the room she noticed my edginess. 19

“Are you alright, Jayden?”she asked with concern. I looked over at her and had the same feeling as I had had regarding the guy in the bar. I wasn’t all that attracted to her. That thought scared me more than I’ll admit. Grabbing her around the waist, I pulled her into my lap. She squealed, but came willingly and put her arms around my neck as she sat sideways on my legs. At first, I kissed her automatically, my mind focusing on my body’s reactions. Then, an image came to my mind. This same girl over my lap instead of in it, her skirt pulled up and her panties down around her knees, and I started to get hard as I thought about spanking her. I moaned into her kiss, and felt her hand sneak down to my jeans, but before she could touch me, I grabbed her hand and pulled it behind her back. That movement pushed her breasts forward, and I could see that her nipples were hard. Retrieving her other hand from my hair, I pulled it behind her back as well. When I was able to capture both of her wrists in one hand, I felt powerful. It was like I was in control of myself for the first time in days. Moving my mouth from hers, I trailed kisses along her throat punctuating them with soft bites on her tender flesh as she moaned my name. My free hand moved to her blouse, and I rubbed her breasts with my palm. Again, she said my name. It was a high being in control of this writhing girl on my lap. I pinched her nipples hard through her shirt, first one then the other. She was struggling now, and her voice finally penetrated the haze in my mind. “Jayden, Stop. Let me go,” she requested in a low frightened voice. I looked up at her face, and realized she was scared. Apparently, I had gone too far, and immediately, I felt ashamed. Releasing her at once, I set her in the seat next to me, and she wasted no time getting out of the booth and away from me. She didn’t even give me a chance to apologize for my actions. I polished off one of the drinks before slamming it down onto the table and putting my forehead on the table next to it, closing my eyes and trying to control the reeling from what just happened. Again, that feeling of isolation spread over 20

me. There was no one I could talk to. I doubt that I could even bring myself to talk to Ethan about this. What if he said it wasn’t normal, even for his - no, our lifestyle? I felt someone sit next to me, and then a small gentle hand begin to stroke my hair. When I looked up, I saw a lovely brunette looking at me. Her soft wavy hair fell in loose curls around her shoulders, framing her friendly face. I found my pulse quickening as her eyes, pools of liquid chocolate, met mine and something stirred in me. A line of light, barely discernable freckles lined her nose and cheeks. I wanted to touch them. Even though she seemed familiar, I couldn’t place where I knew her from, so I put my forehead back on the table and mumbled that I really wasn’t in the mood for company. “It’s okay, Jayden,” she said softly in my ear, and gently kissed my cheek. The surprise that she knew my name registered belatedly, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. As she continued to run her fingers through my hair, which I found incredibly soothing, she laid her hand on mine. Shocked, I saw that she wore the same cuff I did. I looked up into her face and she nodded. “Did he send you to watch me?” I asked in a defeated voice. It hurt more than it should to think that he didn’t trust me to follow his instructions outside the house. But hadn’t I just wanted to take that girl, to prove to myself that I was still a man? Would I have followed through with it? I felt riddled with the guilt of what amounted in my mind to the abuse of that girl. “No,” she said quietly, just loud enough to be discerned above the din. “He was concerned that you may be having a hard time adjusting, and asked me to look after you.” She squeezed my hand in hers. “He cares for you, Jayden, just as he cares for me. He cares the way any Dom cares for their sub. He knows that the psychological aspects of subservience can be overwhelming in the beginning. Since your submission is to another man that must increase the confusion and angst of the 21

transition. My name is Lexi, and as you noticed before, I am also Ethan’s submissive.” I just nodded and looked back at the table. “Come on. You won’t find what you’re looking for here,” she said, and pulled me from my seat. She continued to hold my hand until we were in the parking lot where I walked her to her car out of courtesy, and she touched my cheek before getting behind the wheel. I watched her drive off, and then went back to my bike. Ethan was in the kitchen when I returned home. We looked at each other for a long moment across the expanse of the large, well-appointed space. I saw the concern in his eyes and felt oddly reassured by it. The spell was broken when I walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. I went up to my room without a word and lay on my bed, finally tired enough to sleep. The next three days passed in much the same manner. While I didn’t actively avoid Ethan any longer, we didn’t see much of each other during those few days. Left to my thoughts, I had come to terms with my new role. I finished my last midterm, so thankfully I would have some time to deal with these new feelings, this new lifestyle before classes resumed. I thought about spending the afternoon searching the web for something that would help, but I didn’t think I was ready to submerge myself in that imagery just yet. Just as I lay back on my bed, my phone chirped, indicating a text message. Sighing, I picked it up, and saw it was a media text from Ethan. I opened it and was stunned to find an image of myself from the room, on my knees, the bar tied in place. With my hands were bound behind me, my eyes were closed, and my face relaxed, I was struck by the grace with which I held my pose. The text below the image read: Do you see how beautiful you are? Be ready for me at 5:00. 22

Chapter 2 Not sure if I should knock on the door of the room, or just enter, I cautiously turned the knob and went in. Today I was dressed only in a pair of cotton shorts for my long trek down the hall, not yet able to bring myself to take that walk naked; I needed the last few minutes of normalcy before I entered the room. Ethan was already in the room, and to my surprise, so was the brown-haired girl that he had sent to the bar. As my mind comprehended what I was seeing, my body reacted to it. Lexi was bent horizontally over a long padded sawhorse in the center of the room with her legs bound tightly to the outside of its legs. Ropes were positioned at the ankle, the knee, and the thigh making it impossible for her to move. Her hands were tied behind her back, and her breasts were positioned on the either side of the horse. A silver chain ran between her nipples and under the top of the horse, keeping her chest pressed against the leather. In her mouth was a bright red ball connected to two thick leather straps that went under her long hair wavy hair that was now pulled back into a pony tail at the base of her neck. Beautiful even with the absence of makeup, her body was toned, tight in her bondage. In short, she was 23

incredibly hot. She continued to look straight ahead as I closed the door behind me. Quickly, I removed my shorts and dropped to my knees, which were spread wide in the position he had shown me. I laced my fingers behind my head and waited, watching him with Lexi. She was moaning, panting against the gag, and I saw that Master Ethan was tormenting her with a vibrator. I registered the low rhythmic buzz as he slid it in and out of her. “Tell me, Jayden…” Master Ethan said without looking at me. “Did you get a chance to meet Lexi on Sunday night?” Pulling the toy back, he teased her overexcited sex while her hips made the smallest of movements against the horse as her moans became muffled tortured cries. “Yes, Master Ethan,” I replied softly. Nodding to himself, he continued his ministrations with Lexi. “Did you speak with Lexi?” he asked, and inserted the toy fully as he forcefully slapped Lexi repeatedly on her naked buttocks and thighs, making her whimper loudly behind the gag. I didn’t know if maybe she wasn’t supposed to make her presence known. Was she being punished because she tried to console me? Remorse grew in the pit of my stomach for what she was enduring, and I knew lying to him would only make things worse. “Yes, Master Ethan,” I answered honestly, my voice barely audible. A moan escaped her as he rubbed her buttocks and thighs now. “Did it help?” he inquired, looking at me now. I met his gaze briefly before dropping my eyes. “Yes, Master Ethan.” Leaning forward, he kissed the top of the back of Lexi’s thigh, and then stood quickly. While I watched in fascination, he removed the panel from his leather pants. He walked to the front of the horse, his hard erection level with Lexi’s face. 24

“Is this what you want?” he asked her in a low, husky voice. She nodded quickly; it looked as if she would have pleaded had she not been gagged. He stroked her face softly. “It pleases me that you were able to comfort our new friend, my Lexi. As a reward, you shall have what you desire.” He walked back to his original position behind her, and using his hands to open her to him, entered her without pretense. With his hard, but controlled, thrusts, she cried out against the gag. In vain, she tried to move her hips with his, but her bindings made it very difficult. Pressing her forehead against the supple leather, she grunted into the gag in time with his thrusts. He quickly reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a small tube, applying some of the contents to the vibrator still in his hand. After dropping the tube back into his pocket, he used his other hand to spread her buttocks open to him. Slowly, he pressed the vibrator into her rectum, and she whimpered loudly as he turned it on. “That’s it, my Lexi,” he said, rubbing her buttocks as he held the vibrator in place. “You like that, don’t you?” She nodded, her forehead still pressed to the leather, as I noticed that he was starting to move faster, his voice strained. Slowly, he began to move the vibrator in and out of her, increasing the friction and the sensation of it. “Such a good girl…” he murmured, almost to himself, his voice rough. With a furrowed brow, he drove into her harder, his eyes open, but his jaw locked as he fought to stay in control. “Come. Now!” he barked, continuing to drive both his hard sex and the vibrator into her. I watched, fascinated and incredibly aroused, as she arched her back. The chain connecting the clamps on her nipples was pulled perfectly taut. She screamed into the gag, as her body started to shudder against the horse. After an immeasurable period, she collapsed onto the padding, her flushed face was pressed against horse and turned toward me. I could see that her eyes were closed, and she was panting hard around the gag. Master Ethan 25

removed the vibrator quickly, turning it off and laying it on her trembling back, before he took her hips in both of his hands and with quick hard thrusts, achieved his own orgasm within her. He let out that slow guttural moan from my dreams, and pressed his hips flush against her as he filled her. After several minutes, he pulled back, and placed a soft kiss on her hip. Leaving her lying on the horse, he turned and walked to the wall where the pulley and lever were. I started to become frightened as I saw him use the lever to lower the cuffs, knowing that it was for me, and I didn’t know if I’d be able to handle being suspended like that. Noticing my panic, he reminded me of the safe word we had discussed in our first session. The safe word, ‘red’, was used to stop specific acts if I was in pain or overwhelmed. He would stop the play immediately, and we would talk about why I’d used the word. He said that eventually, I may never use it but in the beginning I should use it as often I needed to. This new relationship was based on trust, however, and I would only use the word if I felt I had no choice. “Stand here,” he said indicating the place where the cuffs were being lowered. They were at my waist when he stopped the lever. Positioning me so that I was facing the front of the room, he removed the cuff bearing his mark and placed the pulley’s leather cuffs on my wrists. Across the room, he pulled down a different spreader bar than he had used before, and another set of cuffs identical to those on my wrists. Then he knelt in front of me, and buckled the cuffs to my ankles. He tapped repeatedly on my inner calf and I spread my ankles wider. Finally, he set the bar between them and used two heavy metal rings to attach the rings on the cuffs to the rings on the spreader bar. Gently, he pulled on the lever, and my hands began to rise. I tried to control my breathing, but by the time my wrists were at the level of my shoulders I was panting. It was torture to feel my wrists being raised so excruciatingly slowly. The large hook to which my wrists were bound continued to rise until my torso 26

was slightly stretched. My feet were still on the ground, but my body was taut. He came up behind me, and I could feel his warm clothed body against my back. Kissing the back of my neck, he murmured into my ear “Until you are more comfortable, you will not be gagged. But know that it will please me greatly when you are ready. I look forward to hearing you screaming behind it.” I moaned at his words, my erection pulsed. Moving back to Lexi, he untied her from the horse and allowed her to stand. As he removed her gag, he placed a tender kiss on her cheek, and she smiled at him. As he removed the clamps from her nipples, she winced slightly. He rubbed her breasts with this palms, and she closed her eyes. “Better?” he asked quietly, and she nodded. Continuing, he rubbed down her arms, and then her legs, massaging her muscles as she stood silently. He led her to where I hung from the cuffs, and pushed down on her shoulders. Immediately, she went to her knees, and laced her fingers behind her neck. Master Ethan grasped my throbbing erection in his hand and directed it into her waiting mouth. Moving her head back and forth at once, she sucked hard, while my head dropped back, and I groaned as she worked me. I lost track of where Master Ethan was until I felt the sharp stinging slap on my upper thigh. Quickly, my eyes went to him, and I saw that he had a riding crop in his hands. As Lexi took me particularly deep, I felt the stinging pain across my tender buttocks, and I jerked forward, deeper into her mouth. He did not restrict the stinging slaps to my buttocks however, but continued to whip my thighs as well. As he moved around to my front, I felt the slap on each of my nipples and a small cry escaped my lips. It was such delicious torture, the stinging pain, combined with the pleasure of Lexi’s mouth. My hips thrust forward softly, and I felt the crop slide up the inside of my thigh and then rub between my legs. The cold

27

leather of the crop rubbed against my scrotum as she continued to move her mouth up and down me. The feeling was too much, but I couldn’t let go just yet, as I had not been given permission. Now I understood what he’d meant when he said that every part of me was his, even my orgasms were his. I could not release without his permission, and I whimpered loudly, trying to silently beg him. I felt his lips at my ear. “What is it that you desire, Jayden?” he murmured, and a shiver ran down my spine. Desperately trying to hold out, I closed my eyes tightly, and locked my jaw. “To come Master, please…” I gasped, and then with my voice gaining a little volume I continued “If it pleases you…” I felt him reach down and rub his palm between my legs. “Please…Please….” I cried, begging, losing all sense of self. He began whipping my buttocks again, harder this time, making my muscles clench with the blows, and then I heard him nearly growl in my ear. “Fucking come for me Jayden. Fill her little mouth.” My head fell back, and I felt him continue to rein blows on my backside. They weren’t terribly painful, but they pushed me well over the edge. I focused on every sensation that was assaulting me, the stings of the crop, the tension in my arms, the cool air between my thighs, the bondage of my wrists and ankles, and most of all the sweet torment of Lexi’s mouth. With abandon, I thrust my hips forward and screamed in my release. Ceasing her movements as I came hard, I felt her swallowing around me, prolonging the feeling. As she pulled back, releasing me from her mouth, the blows stopped. Not bothering to hold myself up any longer, I hung limply by my wrists. Just as slowly as I had been raised, I felt myself being lowered back to the floor. I let myself sink to my knees, and finally raised my head. Master Ethan was looking at me with a soft smile, pride evident in his expression, as I straightened up, remaining on my knees, my ankles still bound to the bar, and my wrists bound to the hook. After he removed the hook, he 28

put it through a loop on the wall. Immediately, I laced my fingers behind my neck, and I was in position. I knew that it pleased him, and I took a small measure of pride from that. “Lexi, assume your position in front of Jayden,” he said in a low voice, and I saw Lexi move on her knees to kneel in front of me. Her pose mimicked mine exactly, her knees spread, her fingers also laced behind her neck. “Closer.” She inched forward until I could feel her body heat radiating from her, now no more than two inches from me, and I felt the insane urge to lean down and kiss her. If it were permitted, she could brush her beautiful naked breasts against me my merely taking a deep breath. I started to get hard again. “Do not move,” he said sharply, and then left the room. As my erection grew, it touched her stomach and I closed my eyes briefly. Lexi never spoke, and never moved during the minutes that Master Ethan was absent from the room, and I followed her example. When he returned, Master Ethan had a pitcher of ice water and a glass. After he poured the water in the glass, he held it to Lexi’s mouth for her to drink, which she did without breaking her position, small droplets of water drizzling down her chin, neck, and finally in between her perfect breasts. Her nipples hardened considerably, and I swallowed. Then, it was my turn. I drank deeply, trying to be careful, but water dribbled over from my lips, over my chin and down my chest. As the drops rolled over my stomach, I shuddered. “Come here, Jayden,” Master Ethan said after returning the pitcher and glass to a side table. I moved to him on my knees where he had me turn so I could see Lexi again. Before going to Lexi, he went over to the wall and grabbed several lengths of the black rope. She held her wrists out and he tied them together with large thick knots. Then he tied another long length of rope around each of her knees, the remainder trailing on the floor. I watched from my position on my knees near his feet, fascinated, as he once again took the hook coming from the 29

pulley and put it through a carefully tied knot at Lexi’s wrists. Then he took each of the ropes attached to Lexi’s knees and threaded them behind her shoulders and then through the hook. This pulled her knees up sharply, and he quickly tied the ropes off holding her legs in place. He went to the lever on the wall, and Lexi started to rise. Incredibly, I got harder watching her naked and bound body being raised before me. She was suspended by her arms, but her legs were pulled up and out by the ropes connecting her knees up to the hook. It was simply done, but so erotic. Master Ethan tested all of bonds to make sure they weren’t too tight, and that she wouldn’t fall, then he motioned for me to come to him. On my knees, I made my way to him, and soon I was kneeling before Lexi’s wide open sex. She was starting to struggle, but only slightly, in her anticipation. “Jayden, did you enjoy Lexi pleasing you?” Master Ethan asked, walking over to the opposite wall. “Yes, Master Ethan,” I answered enthusiastically, nodding. “Don’t you think she deserves to be pleased in the same manner?” he asked, returning with something I couldn’t see. “Yes, I do, Master Ethan,” I said with a small smile. “Then use your talented mouth to pleasure her,” he said, and I leaned forward at once, burying my face between her outstretched legs. As my tongue moved ardently over her bare, thoroughly exposed sex, I heard him strike her with whatever was in his hand. She cried out, and without the gag it was easy to discern that whatever he was using stung. Doubling my efforts, I sucked softly on her overexcited flesh, wishing briefly that I could use my hands, but I didn’t dare break my position. Her cries resounded through the room as she was thrashed by whatever implement Master Ethan was using. The sounds that resonated through the large room as he struck her skin over and over were jarring, but somehow exhilarating at the same time. From the corner of my eye, I noticed that her legs shook 30

from the uncomfortable position they were tied in, but still I worked diligently to bring about her release. As I flattened out my tongue, and rubbed the rough of it over her, her cries began to change. Her cries of pain were now mingled with other cries, those of pleasure as she struggled in her suspended position to spread her legs wider, aching for my mouth. Vaguely, I heard Master Ethan say something to her, and she began to shake violently, her eager sex began to spasm around my tongue, and I realized that she was starting to orgasm. I continued to use my tongue to bring about her pleasure, and finally she cried out in her release, and I felt her wetness stream down my chin, the idea of which went straight to my groin. “Stand up, Jayden,” Master Ethan said once Lexi’s cries had begun to subside. I moved back slightly, and stood up gracefully, my fingers still laced behind my neck. Then, he addressed Lexi, asking softly, “Did that feel good, my Lexi?” She nodded vigorously. “You should give Jayden a kiss to thank him for giving you such pleasure, don’t you think?” Straining forward, Lexi tried to reach me, and I looked at Master Ethan, who nodded, so I leaned forward and gave her one, two, three, kisses on her lips before they parted, and she deepened the kiss. Her mouth was so supple, so sweet. The feeling, that all encompassing need, intensified as my lips moved against hers, and I had to stop myself from moaning into the kiss. Slowly, I pulled back and kissed her softly again, one last gentle kiss. Her eyes opened and she smiled at me. “Come here Jayden,” Master Ethan commanded, standing next to the sawhorse I saw Lexi on earlier. I turned and walked to him, since I was already on my feet. He had turned it so that one end was facing Lexi, and the other facing him. I stood at the end nearest him, and he bound my legs to the legs of the horse. Then, he leaned me forward, being careful of my now painful erection. He placed a small towel under my chin which confused me, but then I looked straight ahead and saw Lexi. He bound my wrists to the legs on the far end. He added ropes around my hips and chest, securing me tightly to the horse so 31

that I could not move. I felt him preparing me, and I closed my eyes. It still felt wrong to feel his fingers inside me. “Keep your eyes on hers,” he said roughly, and then thrust inside of me. I groaned quietly, feeling him stretching me. Looking up, I saw that Lexi was watching me, and that made everything so much worse. I had just shared a sweet impassioned kiss with this girl, and now she was watching me being defiled by another man. It was obvious that this was his intension that I felt some measure of the same humiliation, the same degradation that I had the first time he’d taken me, and my face flamed. Master Ethan thrust harder, and forced a low moan from me. Lexi smiled her eyes bright with excitement. I focused on breathing deeply, trying to control my emotions. I focused on the pleasure I felt as he took me. I focused on the look of pride he’d given me after my punishment. Then, I felt him stroking me. I knew that I would no longer be able to control my body’s reactions. Master Ethan’s lubricated hand slid effortlessly over my erection, heightening the pleasure much more, and I felt the muscles in my legs start to spasm. Whimpering as he continued to stroke me hard in time with his thrusts, I didn’t know how I could stave off my release waiting for permission this time, especially when I could feel it building, filling me. A light sheen of sweat covered my skin as I struggled. My body was on fire. I screamed a strangled “No!” as I felt my orgasm explode through me. As it coursed through me, I cried out over and over, my semen jetting in streams onto the floor. Master Ethan immediately pulled back and released me, his disapproval and disappointment almost palpable. Quickly, he moved to the other side of the horse, to stand directly in front of me, stroking himself hard. I chanced a glance up at his face, and he was 32

looking down at me in condemnation. I felt a lump rise in my throat with the knowledge that I had failed him. “Close...your eyes,” he grunted out, and I immediately did as he commanded. I felt the first hot stream hit my face, and was ashamed. Over and over, I felt his semen cover my cheeks, my chin, and my forehead. I wanted to plead with him; to tell him I was sorry for my failure, the weight of it was a physical presence in my chest. But, I knew that I could not speak. He did not want my excuses or explanations, or even apologies, he wanted my obedience, and I had failed to give it to him. Finally, he was finished, and he walked away without a word. I looked up at Lexi, but she was looking down. I watched, unmoving as Master Ethan walked to the wall and pulled the lever to let Lexi down. When she had been lowered to the ground, he took the hook and secured it to the wall once again. Carefully, he untied each of her legs and rubbed her calves and thighs. Then, he untied her wrists and tossed the ropes to the side. He took her hands gingerly in his, and rubbed first her hands, and then her wrists. Continuing with his soft massage, he rubbed her arms, and then her shoulders. This would be me if I hadn’t disgraced myself; I would be rubbed and given affection, instead of lying across this damned piece of wood humiliated and alone. When he was finished with Lexi, she assumed her standard position. He turned her so that she was facing a blank expanse of wall away from the equipment. Then, I felt myself being untied. He started with my legs, but he didn’t rub them as he did Lexi’s, because I was disgraced and wasn’t to be allowed such kindness. After he untied my hips, he dropped the ropes to the floor, next my chest was released, and then, he moved to my hands. I didn’t dare move once I was free; I lay across the padding completely still. “Get up,” he said, and I noticed that he didn’t even bother to call me by name. He pushed me over to the wall that Lexi was currently watching. “Put your hands on that wall.” I 33

pressed my palms to the wall, and he pulled my legs back and apart. I stood there waiting silently. The blows were swift and decisive. Repeatedly, I felt something strike my back, my buttocks, and my legs. The pain was tolerable, and not once did I move. I deserved every bit of what I was getting, for I had failed him. When he had finished, my skin was on fire, my head was down, and I was panting wildly. “Go,” was all he said to me. Again, I felt the lump rise in my throat, and the tears were falling before I even reached my room. Infuriated with myself, I ran into it and slammed the door. Looking in the bathroom mirror was a mistake; I could see the remains of his semen on my face. Grabbing a wash cloth from the cabinet, I wet it down, and scrubbed my face. I tried to get a hold of myself, and reached over to turn on the shower. When I went to remove my cuff, I realized that it was still in the room. I felt the weight of its absence. Would I get it back? Did I deserve to get it back? When the water was warm enough, I stepped in the shower. As I stood under the spray, I felt the suffocation of my disappointment crash over me. I sank to the bottom of the shower, my back against the cold tile wall and pulled my knees up to my chest, I pressed my forehead to them.

34

Chapter 3 I awoke slowly, my mind and body felt unusually heavy. The physical and emotional events from the previous night had taken so much out of me. Once I finally got a handle on my emotions, I had fallen exhausted into bed, and for that, I was grateful. I did not want to lie awake replaying those images in my mind – my failure, Ethan’s rebuke, or the punishment. Rolling over, I remained in bed, fearing the time when I would have to face Ethan. Would he return my cuff and allow me to continue to serve him? In the light of a new day, I have to admit my surprise at the emotion brought about by the loss of my leather cuff. How had I come to need it, to need him, so quickly? Since I’ve known him, there has been a place – a secret and dark place, in my soul that has been opened. It is a hole that can only be filled with my willing subservience. This is my life now. No matter what kind of pain or humiliation I may endure because of it, I had past the point of no return. Then my thoughts turned to my fate. What did Ethan think about my behavior last night? Did he regret his decision to take me on as a sub? Would he release me? That thought, even though this was all new to me, caused me to press my face into 35

the pillow and let out a frustrated cry. Before Ethan, I never would have imagined that another man’s approval would mean so much to me. Shaking off those thoughts, I finally out of bed. As I walked into the kitchen, I noticed something sitting on the counter in front of the coffee maker. Getting closer, I realized that it was my leather wrist cuff on top of a note – a note from Ethan. It said merely 10:00 AM. Glancing at the display on the coffee machine, I saw that it was 9:30 AM. I had showered the night before, so I grabbed a quick breakfast of coffee and a bagel before heading back upstairs. Conflicted, I stood in my room. He had returned my cuff, which I had immediately put on. Did that mean he wanted a session? I decided to follow our established protocol and stripped down completely. Naked and determined to redeem myself, I walked to the room. As I stepped through the door, I saw that Lexi and Master Ethan were already in the room. Master Ethan was operating the lever on the wall to suspend Lexi in the same position she had been in the previous night. What did this mean? Were we just going to start where we left off, like nothing had happened? Only, I didn’t know how to prevent a repeat of last night. My breathing accelerated as I quickly assumed my position on my knees with my eyes cast down. Kneeling, I waited for his instruction. After a few minutes, I felt him standing beside me. He reached down and tilted my chin up so that I looked him in the face. “Tell me what you learned from last night, Jayden,” he said in a low soft voice, and I relaxed minutely when I realized he wasn’t angry. I thought about the previous night, and then replied shakily. “I learned that I infuriate myself in displeasing or disappointing you, Master Ethan.” Considering that, the corners of his mouth fought a smile. “You could have said that you learned that pain or humiliation await you if you displease me. You also could have said that 36

you are frightened of the pain or the humiliation. You could have said that you hate me because of the degradation I inflicted upon you. Instead, you effectively said that displeasing me feels like failure and upsets you,” he said, stroking my hair absently. “That is beautiful, Jayden. I am very pleased by your attitude.” Leaning down, he stroked, and then kissed, the top of my head. I closed my eyes briefly, reveling in his praise and affection. I felt like a puppy that had finally learned a new trick. “Today, again with Lexi’s help, I am going to train you in control. Come with me,” he said and returned to where Lexi remained suspended. He picked up something I could not see, and I followed him as quickly and gracefully as I could on my knees. He motioned for me to stop a few feet in front of Lexi, putting my face, once again, level with her glistening sex. “Now, watch closely Jayden,” he instructed, and he walked up behind Lexi. I wasn’t sure what this was about, but he didn’t appear angry or even displeased with me. Sliding his hands under the ropes holding Lexi’s legs, he massaged her breasts until she moaned softly. Next, he stepped closer so that she could feel his clothed body against her naked back, putting his lips to her ear, nibbling gently on the lobe, breathing onto her neck. “Mmmmm…my Lexi,” he murmured to her, just loud enough for me to hear as he rolled her stiff nipples between his fingers, pinching them hard. When she arched her back and moaned loudly, he continued in a harder voice, “You look so fucking hot like this…so helpless, naked and spread for me.” Running one hand down her taunt stomach, he continued, “I should turn you around and drive right into you, fuck you right here, right now.” As his hand reached her sex, she whimpered at his words. He stroked her gently before he teased, “I’m going to make you beg to come on my cock.” He slid his fingers inside her. “That’s my girl…You are so wet….”

37

He slipped something out of his pocket, and I saw that it was a vibrator. Turning it on, he rubbed her eager, exposed sex with it, and I saw her muscles clench as she let out a long low open mouthed moan. He slid the vibrator into her, and while she tried in vain to rock her hips against it, he worked and tormented her until she whimpered and writhed, suspended and vulnerable. “Do you see how hard she is concentrating? She has redirected her focus to distract herself,” he explained, continuing to stroke her wet sex. “Lexi – tell us what you’re thinking right now….” Master Ethan requested into her ear while the hand not wielding the vibrator, he massaged her breasts. “Atlanta…Georgia….” she panted, her eyes closed tight, and her brow furrowed in concentration. “Springfield … Illinois… Albany…New…York….” For her to speak took a great deal of effort. He pulled her hard against his chest and spoke to her. “You are such a good girl, my Lexi. You please your master so well. Come for me, angel,” he murmured, I watched, enthralled as she bit her lip unconsciously, and even I could watch her focus shift, her face relaxed, and she focused on the sensations now. Within seconds, her body began to shudder and I saw her overexcited sex begin to spasm around the vibrator. Crying out in sheer pleasure, and thanks for her master, her head fell back onto his shoulder, her back arched. As her cries subsided, and she began to calm, he removed the vibrator and set it on a nearby table. Then, he addressed me, “Training yourself to prolong your pleasure and delay your orgasm makes the release itself more intense. You must find something non-sexual that you can focus on to delay your orgasm, Jayden. You want to keep what happened last night from happening again, don’t you?” “Yes, Master Ethan,” I said fervently. Never again did I want to suffer his displeasure. I thought hard about things that 38

I could use to refocus, to distract myself from the physical pleasure in order to gain affection instead of degradation. Thinking about Lexi’s example, it would be better to select something that I could name systematically, but something I had to think about. Counting wouldn’t work, for example, because it would not distract me. Something geographic, like Lexi – that would work. Then I had it. “Have you thought of something that you can use? Are you ready to show me that you can control yourself?” I nodded, and he motioned for me to sit on a nearby table where he pushed me down, cuffing my wrists to the head of the table, my ankles to the bottom. Next to the table, he stood stroking my erection with his warm hands, no gel this time, just the liquid seeping through the tip. Spreading the liquid over the head, he rubbed it with his palm eliciting a deep open mouthed groan from me. From base to top, he stroked me with his other hand, and I nearly whimpered from pleasure as he continued pumping me while he watched my face intently. What he was looking for, I wasn’t sure. This continued for several minutes until the feeling became too intense, then I knew it was time for my plan. I closed my eyes and recited in my head: Kentucky – Border State Tennessee – Confederacy His hands picked up tempo, and I locked my jaw, concentrating hard on my list and trying not to feel the perfect pleasure he was forcing through me. Indiana – Union Illinois – Union Virginia – Confederacy 39

Unconsciously, I started to move my hips against his hands, thrusting my hard cock up into them. My master’ hands on me, working me for his own ends felt unbelievable, and I briefly wondered if he would take me. South Carolina – Confederacy New York – Union Delaware – Union I continued to fight hard to stay in control until he released me abruptly. At first, I thought I’d done something wrong. But, he leaned down and kissed my forehead, stroking my hair. “Beautiful, Jayden,” he began, “You controlled your desires. I am very pleased. You learned even faster than Lexi. For that, you will get a very….very special reward. You may orgasm when you’re ready.” “Thank you, Master Ethan,” I whispered and watched in utter disbelief as he lowered his mouth to my now painful erection. My mind had a hard time processing the scene, and I heard Lexi gasp as he wrapped his perfect lips around the head and sucked gently. Driving my head back into the soft leather covering of the table, I continued reciting states and their Civil War allegiances. I looked down then, and watched as his mouth slid along my length, and his lips came to rest on the base where I could feel the head of my hard sex pressing against his throat, and I nearly came right then. However, I wanted to prolong the moment, because I was sure it would never happen again. As I felt him suck harder, I let out a choked cry, with one hand pumping my hard sex; he let the other trail slowly down to stroke between my legs. My cries grew louder, and my hips rose off the table, matching his rhythm. Lifting my head, I 40

watched as my erection slid easily in and out of his perfect mouth with closed eyes, he worked furiously on me. Finally, I ran out of states, so I rested back on the table and just let myself feel. I felt the breeze from the open window blow across the light sheen of sweat on my body; I felt the resistance of the cuffs as I tried desperately to put my hands in his soft hair. But mostly, I felt Master Ethan’s mouth, and I thought about his perfect lush lips, making my orgasm explode through me. Crying out, my back arched, and I felt my semen erupt into his waiting mouth. He swallowed every bit before licking my softening cock as he released me. Master Ethan left me bound to the table, utterly spent as he made his way back to Lexi, sliding into her without a word, and as he had promised earlier, making her beg for her second orgasm. She begged and pleaded with him to fuck her harder, to please let her come, swearing she would be a good girl, that she would please him. As her control began to slip, her cries got more frenzied while he slammed into her over and over, using her ropes for leverage. Finally, he growled his permission, and she shrieked and whimpered in her release. It started to make me hard again to watch her just throw her head back and give in to the feeling. Master Ethan soon followed; he groaned and panted loudly as he filled her. After several long minutes, he tucked himself back into his pants refastening the panel and turned to us. “Now, my pets, your training will be intensified this week. There are several things I want to teach you that you will have to do perfectly by this weekend. I want you to display every intimate detail of your naked body, to control your orgasms, and to exemplify perfect submission. Do you understand?” We both nodded in agreement. “We will be having guests.” *

*

*

Thankfully, school was out for break because Master Ethan was working me hard in anticipation of his guests. His nervous 41

excitement was present in everything we did, and I couldn’t help but wonder who he would want to impress so badly. For the first two days, Master Ethan and I worked on positioning in the mornings and control at night. Lexi worked with us occasionally because she was an experienced submissive that didn’t require extensive training. Tonight, it appeared that he had a different strategy. He wanted to work on something other than my control. “Come here Jayden,” Master Ethan said in his smooth authoritative voice. I made my way over to him on my knees and then straightened up, lacing my fingers behind my neck. “Put your forehead on the floor,” and I obeyed. He pulled my arms back behind my back and restrained them tightly with a length of the black rope, and while I kept my forehead pressed to the floor; he ran his hands over my buttocks examining the welts from my last punishment. “Spread your legs wider,” he said harshly, and I responded immediately. Running his hands up my thighs and between my legs, he made me feel so incredibly vulnerable in this position, and I couldn’t help but moan at the sensation of his hands. “That’s it…” he murmured. “Thrust your hips back, open yourself to me.” Reveling in the exposure as I followed his instructions, I considered that this must be what he meant by displaying the intimate details of my body. Is this what the guests would be seeing during their visit? The thought made me shiver. Then, he walked around in front of me again and said, “Up.” I straightened up, but didn’t pull my legs together, as he had not indicated that he wanted that. I kept my eyes downcast, and held my position with my hands behind my back. He stroked my cheek with his long fingers. “Open.” I watched, enthralled, as he brought a purple ball to my lips. It was similar to the red one he had used for Lexi, but slightly larger. He pushed it into my mouth and pulled the thick leather straps behind my head, and I felt him buckle the gag tightly into place. That had never been done to me before, and I panicked a bit as it slid home. The ball took up most of the space in my mouth, 42

pressing against my tongue and my back teeth. While I could bite down on it, and it was firm but had a little give, I had to tilt my head back and concentrate in order to swallow. The leather straps I felt pressing into my cheeks would certainly leave slight indentations. “Maintain your position,” he said, walking over to the assortment of furniture near the back of the room, picking up what looked like a blank leather clad ottoman, and returned to where I was keeling, bound and gagged before him. “Now, I don’t need to get a bar, do I?” he asked, smacking the backs of my thighs with his hands. “You’re going to keep those nice strong legs wide apart, aren’t you?” I nodded. “Answer me properly!” he barked, and slapped several hard spanks onto my naked buttocks. “Yes, Master!” I tried to say, but the gag muffled and distorted my words. He chucked, and I felt stupid trying to talk with this thing in my mouth. All I could really do behind it was grunt and whimper, just like some kind of animal. Leaning down so that his lips were next to my ear, he reminded me. “Do you remember when I told you that I couldn’t wait for you to be ready for the gag? Do you remember that I told you I wanted to hear you scream for me, Jayden?” The gag got in my way when I tried to answer him, my reply seemed to come out as a low muffled whimper. After walking over to the wall, he pulled down a long thin leather stick, and then returned before me. It appeared that he wanted to make sure I saw the stick before he walked behind me. I braced myself for the blows. When the first blow came, it wasn’t what I had expected. Yes, it stung, but it didn’t hurt. The next one, to my upper thigh was the same. It was like he was hitting me, well…hitting me just hard enough to turn me on. Then, it clicked, he didn’t want me to scream in pain, he wanted to make me scream in pleasure, and that thought made me moan loudly behind the gag. 43

“That’s it. You like that, don’t you? You like for me to spank your ass like this.” Again, I dutifully tried to answer, but he just pushed me over the ottoman. With the stick, he hit everything he could reach from his position, my buttocks, my legs, and even lightly tapped my scrotum as my legs were still so far apart. Not once did I consider moving, instead I just lay across the ottoman, my hands bound behind my back, moaning. Every time the stick struck my skin it was like an electric current to my groin. I was so hard that I wanted nothing more than to rub against the ottoman to create enough friction to make myself come, but I could never do that. He was training me, of that I was sure. Master Ethan would be most displeased if I didn’t perform admirably for his guests, and I wanted to make him proud. So, I began to work on my control. Missouri – Border West Virginia – Border Just when I thought I couldn’t take much more, abruptly, he stopped. When he started rubbing my buttocks and legs, I let out a long guttural moan. Trapped between my stomach and the supple leather ottoman, my erection was painful, and the urge to grind my hips against the ottoman incredibly strong. Finally, mercifully, I felt him preparing me; his long delicate fingers probed my anus with the warm wet, lubricant. A long open mouthed groan escaped me as he slid two fingers in and out of me. When I pressed my hips back into his hand, I realized that was the first time I had the conscious thought that I wanted him, wanted his hard sex inside of me, and it shocked me. Then I felt something being pressed into me, but it was cool, and smooth, and hard. Until it started to vibrate, I couldn’t quite place what it was, I moaned loudly as the unexpected pleasure washed through me.

44

Florida – Confederacy Georgia – Confederacy South Carolina – Confederacy God, it felt good as he slowly fucked me with the vibrator, I quickly listed the states, but it took all of my concentration to keep me from my release. Behind the gag, I made wild animalistic sounds, sounds I didn’t even recognize – deep grunts, pants, and strained whimpers. As my hips moved in response to the thrusts into me, my sex was rubbed against the leather, and all I wanted was to come hard against that leather ottoman. The feeling was maddening. Then, I felt something that distracted me from the pleasure. Saliva ran around the gag and over my chin. I hadn’t been concentrating on swallowing, and I was humiliated to feel it on my face, like I’d lost control of some bodily function. However, there was nothing I could do; my head was hanging from my position on the ottoman. My attention shifted again as he thrust the vibrator harder into me, feeling my orgasm approaching, I cried out, even begged him through the gag to please let me come. Pleading as loudly as I dared to make him understand, I felt the tears pool in my eyes; I wasn’t going to make it. I was going to fail him again, and I couldn’t fail him. “I want to fucking hear you. Come hard for me Jayden,” he growled into my ear, and I breathed a sigh of relief before I concentrated on the sensations assaulting my body. As the vibrator drove into me, I rubbed myself against the leather, already slickened by a small amount of semen had leaked from me onto it. I couldn’t believe how good it felt. Bucking my hips back and forth, I forced the toy deeper, creating delicious friction. My cries were so loud, they rang behind my ears. Then, I screamed into the gag at the ferocious power of my orgasm. Feeling the onslaught of pleasure, I bit down on the rubber ball in my mouth while Master Ethan held the vibrator 45

inside me, and I came so fucking hard, my semen pooling on the leather beneath my stomach. I was panting behind the saliva covered gag by the time I was finished, my body utterly spent, and I lay limp on the ottoman. When he unbuckled my gag and pulled it from my mouth, I could see the indentation of my teeth in the rubber. “I have something better to put in your mouth,” he said in a low strained voice. I opened my mouth to him without invitation, and he rubbed my head affectionately as I felt his warm sex, hard as steel, slide into my waiting mouth. Using everything I had been taught, I ran my soft tongue over every inch, hollowing out my cheeks and sucking hard, and grazing my teeth over his thick sex. “Fuck… You’ve gotten so good…” he hissed as he moved faster in and out of my mouth. When I felt his hands go to my hair, I sucked harder, trying to please him, wanting nothing more than to make him happy. “Fuck…FUCK….” he cried and I felt the jets of semen pulse into my mouth. Quickly, I swallowed as he filled my mouth, taking every bit from him as he gave a few more thrusts before his orgasm finished, and I swirled my tongue around him. Moaning, he pulled out of my mouth, and I was surprised when he knelt in front of me and murmured in my ear, “You sounded so fucking hot when you came. I just had to let you suck me.” Then, he kissed me on the forehead and stood up. I rested for a few minutes while he was out of my line of vision, my head hung down, panting. The burning in my thighs was evidence that I had been in the position for too long. When Master Ethan came back, he untied my hands and massaged each of my arms. It felt good, not only from a physical aspect, but also from the affection in his touch. I had pleased him. Putting his hands on my shoulders, he pulled me back to kneel behind the ottoman, and I saw that he had a wet washcloth in his hand. First, he gently washed my face with warm comforting strokes. Next, he wiped my stomach clean from my

46

orgasm, and finally, he cleaned the ottoman, and I smiled to myself. “You are doing very well, Jayden. I will be proud to show you off this weekend,” he complimented as he ran his fingers through my hair tenderly, like I was his favorite pet, and I beamed at him in response. His answering smile was full of pride, for me. *

*

*

“Hey, Jayden,” Lexi said, her light airy voice was pleasant in the sparse expanse of the kitchen. I had never seen Lexi in the house other than in the playroom. She must have arrived early for our session today, as we still had fifteen minutes until we were due in the room. When I noticed she was wearing jeans with a soft pink sweater, I realized I had only seen her dressed that night in the bar. Clothing suited her. “Hi, Lexi,” I greeted, smiling at her. When she smiled back, it took me off guard as it softened her whole face; she was just a clean cut kid there in our kitchen. No one would ever think to guess that she was a well trained sexual submissive. Critically, I appraised, and decided that even with her pink sweater, she still looked better in just her leather cuff. I could understand why Ethan kept her naked and waiting for him. “How’s school?” she asked, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “Out, thankfully. I don’t think I could concentrate on class while I’m worried about these mysterious visitors,” I whispered to her conspiratorially, not knowing if I was supposed to talk about things from the room outside the room. Ethan and I never spoke about that aspect of our relationship outside the boundaries of the room. “Don’t be nervous, it’s going to be fine,” she told me, reaching over to ruffle my hair. It was such a kind gesture that it surprised me. This was really the first time we’d spoken since the bar. “He just wants to show his friends how proud he is of 47

you. You’re really doing well, it’s almost like….” she broke off, almost as if she felt she’d said too much. “Almost like what?” I asked curiously, and turned to face her as she blushed and looked down. “Almost like you were supposed to be his sub,” she whispered, sneaking a peek up at me to see if I was upset. Shrugging, I let her know her comment didn’t bother me. “I don’t know why I feel like this about our arrangement. It just feels…Well, it feels natural to me. I can’t really explain it,” I said in a quiet voice, and to my surprise, she nodded. “I feel like that too.” A few minutes later, we made our way up to the room together. Just before I reached out to open the door, she took my hand and squeezed it. I smiled at her, and as I turned the knob, she released my hand. Master Ethan was not yet in the room, so we quickly disrobed side by side and assumed our positions, on our knees, waiting for him to arrive. A few minutes later, he entered, and we maintained our positions, facing straight ahead, eyes down. I saw him stroke Lexi’s hair as he walked by on his way to turn on the music as always. Master Ethan had a great appreciation for classical music, and honestly, I’ve started to get hard every time I hear it, no matter where I am. “We will not have an evening session today, or a morning session tomorrow. This will be our final session in preparation for our guests. I want you to be well rested and able to perform up to your potential for me. They will arrive tomorrow afternoon, so I want you both in here at noon. Is that understood?” he asked severely, and we both sounded our understanding. I wanted to reassure him that we would do as expected of us for his guests, but of course I remained silent. “I have a little challenge for you, Jayden,” he continued, and when I looked up into his face, and he told Lexi to come to him. When she knelt in front of him, he pushed her onto all fours 48

facing me. “If you meet that challenge, I will give you a very special treat. However, if you fail…” he trailed off and picked up a long thick leather strap. “Lexi will suffer the consequences.” As an example, he gave Lexi two hard lashes of the strap, and she screamed, her face contorted in pain. I was horrified. That was wrong – why should Lexi have to suffer for my failures? I’d been doing very well this week, but what if I didn’t make it? Should I use the safe word and stop the scene? He would be very angry if I stopped it before it even started. Assuming what I was thinking, he explained, “That safe word only applies to you. Lexi would have to use her own word, and let me warn you – she’s never used it.” “Master Ethan, may I ask what the challenge is?” Not that it would matter; I had to at least try. “That is fair, I think,” he mused. “I am going to fuck you, Jayden. The challenge is merely that you cannot come until after I do. I will not manually stimulate you.” He tilted my chin up so that I was looking into his earnest eyes, and I nodded. “Very good, Jayden,” he said softly, acknowledging that I could have used my safe word, but I chose not to because of my trust in him. “Now, come over here.” He walked over to the pulley, and I noticed for the first time a complicated set of straps on the floor beneath it – similar to black cargo straps. Positioning me on all fours above the straps, I began to get a little confused until he buckled them around me and cinched my wrists behind my back with another strap. I held my position on my knees, bent at the waist, with my hands bound, and as he moved the lever and the straps became taut as I started to rise. When he moved the lever to stop my ascent, he brought black ropes over to me and efficiently bound my right ankle to my right thigh, so that my leg was folded with my foot almost touching my ass, then he did the same with my left. I could not move my legs. Effectively bound and suspended, the thought of 49

my total vulnerability before Master Ethan made me incredibly hard. Walking over to where Lexi was still on all fours, he opened the panel in his pants. Then, Master Ethan lifted her chin, and she rose up onto her knees and took his raging erection into her mouth. Putting his hands into her hair, driving into her mouth, his eyes locked with mine as I watched her preparing him to take me. After several minutes, he let out a sharp breath and pulled out of her mouth. As he made his way around me, I saw that he was completely hard; his erection was straining out of his pants. Licking my lips, shocked at my own wanton need for him, and I found myself suddenly hopeful. If his need was greater than mine, especially because of Lexi’s talented mouth, then I stood at least some chance of succeeding in his challenge. In keeping to his word about not manually stimulating me, he had applied the lubricant liberally to himself rather than to me, then entered me slowly while holding the straps near my hips. It was the oddest sensation, floating in mid-air, unable to move with him slowly filling me, and I groaned as he pulled on the straps, pushing his cock in deeper. And then, I started to swing. I felt him slam against my body’s momentum again and again as he fucked me. Low grunts were forced out of me with each of his hard thrusts, my own erection bouncing in time with his hips, and I found that made it difficult to fight off my orgasm. Realizing I needed my technique, I started with the Union states, forcing my mind away from the pleasure coursing through me. He kept up a steady rhythm, and I could hear his leather clad thighs slap against the skin of my buttocks. I was doing very well until I ran out of states. I started over, but it didn’t require as much concentration because I’d just listed them. When I felt my orgasm building, the thought brought my pleasure into focus - the vulnerability, 50

the straps digging into my skin, and Master Ethan’s melodic voice, grunting, and panting in strained outbursts behind me. Panicking, I looked around wildly, trying to find something – anything- to focus on. Then, my eyes came across Lexi kneeling on the floor, watching us. Olympia, Washington Annapolis, Maryland Columbus, Ohio Master Ethan’s voice grew steadily rougher, and a stream of profanity rolled from his perfect lips. Austin, Texas Harrisburg, Pennsylvania Jefferson City, Missouri He let out a strangled cry and pulled back hard on the straps. As I felt him filling me, I gasped for air, still trying desperately to stave off my impending orgasm. Saint Paul, Minnesota Hartford, Connecticut Finally, he released his hold on the straps, and pulled away from me. I heard him panting behind me, moaning, "Fuck, Jayden". Slowly, he moved to the lever and lowered me. As he released the ropes from my legs, and the straps from my wrists and torso, I was still painfully hard. Master Ethan ruffled my 51

hair as I kept my head down trying to get control of myself. Finally, he untied my hands. "Very good, Jayden, very good," he said grinning, and then looked down at Lexi. "He saved you from my punishment. Would you like to say thank you?" he asked her with a wink. "Yes, Master Ethan. May I please thank Jayden?" she pleaded, and he nodded. On her knees, she made her way over and pulled my chin up so that I was on my knees facing her. Looking into my face, she moved closer so that her warm soft body was pressed against mine. "Thank you, Jayden," she said quietly, and before I could respond, her lips were on mine. I was already so fucking turned on, but I couldn't refuse her as her fingers entwined in my hair, pulling me closer to her. My arms snaked around her waist, and I crushed her to me. Only then did I realize my mistake, whimpering loudly into her mouth as my hypersensitive erection rubbed against her soft stomach. I felt my orgasm rip through me, and I closed my eyes tightly crying out as I came hard against her skin. As she realized what I had done, she intensified the kiss for a few seconds before pulling away. I held onto her and dropped my head onto her shoulder, panting. "My…my…." Master Ethan said from somewhere to my right. "That must have been some kiss, Lexi." I looked up to see him smirking at me. Pulling back from her, I raised my hand in time to catch the damp towel he threw to me. He didn't look angry, so I relaxed and wiped down Lexi's stomach before quickly doing my own. "Would you like your treat now, Jayden?" He asked with a slight smile in his voice. My head jerked up to look at him, hell I thought that was my treat. "Yes, Jayden," he continued, while I stared at him. "You did very well tonight, and you deserve a reward. So, come with me." He turned and started to walk toward the rear of the room. "You too, Lexi," he added almost as an afterthought. He led us to the thick mats we used for our more difficult positioning and then sat in a nearby chair. 52

"Jayden..." he started, and I looked over at him. "You may take Lexi as you please," he said, his eyes carefully guarded. I looked quickly at Lexi, but she was looking at Master Ethan. Something changed in her expression, and her face softened as she turned to look at me. I held my hand out to her in a silent question, and nodding, she took my hand. I laid her down in the center of the matted area, and rested my body gently on top of hers. Again, I caught her eye to see if this was okay, and she smiled before wrapping her arms around my neck. I rested on one forearm and stroked her cheek with my fingers. “You are so beautiful, Lexi,” I whispered, just for her. Pulling me down onto her, she kissed me, my body responded, and my fingers entwined in her long mahogany hair. It had been so long since I’d been with a woman like that. Well, I’d never been with a woman quite like Lexi, but I meant just having sex with a woman – doing what felt natural rather than as I was instructed. Quickly peeking over to the side and I saw that Master Ethan was still watching us. I pulled back slightly, and let one of my hands trail down to stroke her breast, her nipples already hard, and she moaned into the kiss as she pressed her hips up into mine. My lips went to her neck, and then slightly higher as I murmured into her ear “You feel so good under me like this. God, I’ve wanted you….” As I moved by body down hers, her back arched, and I ran my lips gently over the delicate skin of her breast while my hand massaged the other. I grazed my nose along the underside of it before running my tongue around her nipple, then I blew softly across it, and it got much harder. After repeating the process to the other breast, I took it into my mouth and sucked. She moaned, and her fingers tightened in my hair when I bit down and tugged, and her hips came off the mat again. Reaching down, I pushed her legs open with my palm and she moaned my name. When I felt her hand wrap around my slowly hardening erection, I grabbed her wrist. “Uh uh, 53

honey….” I said, looking up into her face. “This is all about you.” “But… ahhhhhhh… But it’s your…mmmmm…your reward….” she managed amidst her little gasps. I moved swiftly, and spread her legs wide with my hands, holding her knees apart where I kissed her inner thigh, before I bit it. She cried out, and I looked up at her with a grin. “This is a reward,” I told her earnestly, using my fingers to spread open her soft, eager sex. As I slid my tongue into her, concentrating on her most sensitive flesh, she trembled, and her hips began to rise and fall in her own unconscious rhythm. I felt her hands trying to pull my face closer to her, and I smiled. Reaching down, I pulled first one leg, then the other, over my shoulders. Her hips continued to rise and fall, so anticipating what she wanted, I slid my fingers inside her matching her movements with my hand. She was close, I could feel it. “No state capitals, sweetheart. I want to hear you….” I murmured up at her, and then resumed my position. As I continued to tease, her hips bucked wildly, until finally, she gave up, screaming my name. My name, I thought, not his. There was no more beautiful sound than that. Her orgasm was intense and seemed to last for several minutes, and I did my best to sustain the feeling for her. Then, she fell back onto the mat and I kissed my way slowly back up her body, capturing her lips with mine, and she smiled into the kiss. I stroked her face, and her hair, and then kissed her forehead. “Jayden, I’ve never….” she began, and then faltered. “Never what, honey?” I asked her gently, still running my fingers lightly over the soft lines of her face. “I’ve never made love before, it’s always been...I...well, and I was a virgin when I came to Master Ethan. I’ve been with him for two years, and I’ve never been with anyone else. Would you make love to me, Jayden?” she asked hesitantly, and then 54

buried her face in my neck shyly. How could she possibly be shy now? We’d seen each other in the most intimate of ways. She seemed to be slightly embarrassed at her request, but really there was no need to be, for there was nothing I wanted more. “I’d be honored, sweetheart,” I whispered, and she wrapped her legs around my waist. “You deserve to be made love to, you deserved to be worshipped and cherished.” I kissed her with all the tender feelings I was starting to have for her. “Are you ready, honey?” I asked, and she nodded before I entered her gently. Pulling me harder into her with her legs, she moaned. I started a slow pace, but gradually started to move harder and faster within her, she felt so fucking good, I couldn’t help myself. Reaching down, I pulled her legs a little higher so I could go deeper. I drove into her, my thrusts coming faster now. Her head fell back and she whimpered, her body starting to shudder. “Hold on, honey, just a little longer. I’m close; I want you to come with me.” I felt her lips start to move against my cheek, and I grinned. Concentrating on what I was feeling, her firm breasts pressed against my chest, her fingers tugging at my hair, and her soft wet sex starting to tighten around me, I picked up my pace, soft grunts and pants involuntarily coming from my mouth. All of a sudden that overwhelming feeling hit and I moaned into her ear, “Come for me, honey.” I felt her shuddering beneath me, and when her back arched and her hips drove up into mine, she all but lifted me off of her. Then I heard her, incoherent whimpers and cries being forced from her, interspersed with my name. The sounds coming from me where no more coherent, and I buried my face in her neck as I filled her. We were both panting and covered with a sheen of sweat when our orgasms finally started to subside. Then reality returned, I remembered where we were. I looked over to the side. Ethan had left the room.

55

Chapter 4 Lexi and I were on our knees in position awaiting our instructions. Our guests were due to arrive in just over an hour, and we were both anxious to begin. Master Ethan had opened a large panel on the wall and booted a computer there. As we watched surreptitiously, he put in a disc and loaded a player of some sort. He then closed the panel and turned on the music. Listening to the chords drift through the expanse of the room, he stood looking out of the window for several long moments before coming over to us. Lexi and I spent the next half hour getting each other ready for our visitors. It was oddly comforting to sit and brush her long hair, or rub oil into her skin. Her tiny hands felt like heaven as she rubbed the scented oil into my overly sensitive skin. When we were finally ready, we positioned ourselves on our knees for Master Ethan and he smiled at us. He did not seem to be angry, and I wondered again briefly why he’d left the room last night if he so enjoyed the sight of us. I was brought from my reverie when he picked up a case from a nearby table and set it in front of us. As we watched, he opened the case and removed two handsome leather collars. He 56

held them out for us to examine, and I saw that just as our cuffs carried an engraved Bryant crest, so did the collars. The crest was centered at the front of the leather band, and a sturdy Dring was embedded near the back with inconspicuous fastening on the side for buckling. He brought the first collar to Lexi, and she held her hair back while he buckled it into place and secured it with a small lock. He then removed her wrist cuff and completed the same process with me. A light shudder rippled through me as the lock clicked into place. Once my wrist cuff was removed, he put both cuffs into the case and said “You will wear my collar for the duration of the weekend.” I would have thought that the collar would feel stiff or intrusive. Instead, it felt…right, natural. It gave me an odd sense of pride that I didn’t quite understand, because I had been collared like a dog. Granted, the collar basically forced me to hold my head high, but it felt like it was more than that. I chanced a peek at Lexi and was unsurprised to find that the collar only enhanced her naked beauty. She, too, looked proud to wear Master Ethan’s collar. Kneeling front of Lexi, he examined her, scrutinizing every part of her beautiful body and finally murmuring “perfect” under his breath before pinching her nipples and making them hard. Lexi did not make a sound, and he smiled. Next, he moved in front of me and looked me over, smiling appreciatively, and then reached down to stroke my already straining erection. Just then, we heard the bell downstairs and Master Ethan shared a meaningful look with each of us before leaving the room. Lexi and I remained in perfect positioning for his absence, which lasted several minutes. When he returned, he was followed by two people I had never seen before. They were both predictably clad in leather pants and button up shirts. The man was tall, clean shaven, and well built with short brown hair and dark brown eyes. He was handsome in a rugged kind of way. The woman was small with short black hair and piercing blue eyes. She was petite with nice proportions, but I only got a glance before I returned my gaze to the floor. 57

“Mistress Nicole, these are my subs Jayden and Lexi,” he indicated each of us in turn, and tousled my hair as he spoke. I was shocked, I think because of my experience with Master Ethan and Lexi, that I expected the man to be the Dom, not the tiny woman. But then, given my limited experience in this world, I guess it shouldn’t surprise me. “A male sub, Ethan? I’m surprised. When you wore my collar, I didn’t get the impression that you were overly fond of male companionship,” she said with a smile in a soft perfect soprano. Master Ethan had been a sub? He’d been her sub? That explained why he was so determined for us to do well, he wanted his former Mistress to be proud of him. This strengthened my determination to perform well. “But he is exquisite,” she murmured, walking around me and running her small hands through my hair, making me a little nervous. What if I made a mistake today? “This is my sub, Ryan,” she said, and I looked up briefly to see that the man was naked except for a nondescript leather collar, and had assumed a position similar to ours. Before I looked back down, I observed that she did not treat him with any measure of affection. She eyed us speculatively as she began to circle us, touching me, and I assumed Lexi as well, in random places and then said, “I’m curious, Ethan. As I don’t generally collar female subs, I’m interested in their interaction. Male subs tend to be competitive and jealous. Do you find the same with a male/female pair?” She sounded honestly curious, and I saw Master Ethan smile. “Let me show you,” he said, and went to the large panel in the wall he’d been working with earlier. He pressed a button and a portion of the wall retracted to reveal a plasma TV. He cued up the disc he’d put in, and suddenly Lexi and I were on the large screen, right in the middle of our lovemaking last night. Sneaking a peek at Lexi as Master Ethan and Mistress Nicole critiqued our performance, blushing, she returned my look, and then winked. I couldn’t help but grin, but snapped my 58

head forward again when I heard my name, and found them fucking watching me. My heart rate escalated, knowing that I had been caught breaking position to look at Lexi, but they seemed to have other things on their minds. “Come here, Jayden,” Mistress Nicole said in a beautifully commanding tone. After I made my way to her on my knees and assumed my position at her feet, she smiled down at me then said, “Master Ethan has consented to a little play time for us today. What do you think of that?” “I am honored, Mistress,” I said, and leaned forward to kiss the top of her leather shoe. She stroked my hair absently, apparently lost in thought, and then looked at Master Ethan. “Do you have any grapes, Ethan?” she asked, still stroking my hair. He said that we did, and went downstairs to get them. We waited in a fairly awkward silence for him to return. Then, she looked down at me and complimented, “You convey a beautiful aura of submission.” She patted my head like I were her puppy, and continued. “Ethan tells me this is your first collar?” “Yes, Mistress.” Master Ethan came back into the room then with a small bowl filled with red seedless grapes and Mistress Nicole smiled. “Ryan, come,” she barked at him, and I cringed from the lack of warmth in her tone. It was like Ryan was not even a pet – because you would be kinder to a pet. Master Ethan always treated us well, even when we needed to be punished or trained. But, Ryan came quickly yet gracefully on his knees and stopped just beside me. I could feel the hostility radiating from him and it was evident in every line of his face that he did not like that Mistress Nicole had taken so easily to me. “Now, we’re going to play a little game. You like games, don’t you boys?” she asked, almost playfully looking only at me. “Yes, Mistress,” Ryan and I replied almost simultaneously. 59

“Wonderful!” she cried and clapped her hands together as if we had the option of refusing. “The object of our game is quite simple. I will throw grapes into the air for you to catch. The one who catches the most will be given the honor of pleasing me. Is that clear?” she asked, as if she were speaking to small children. “Yes, Mistress,” we replied, again in unison. Without warning, she tossed a grape into the air, and I launched myself up off of my knees to catch it in my mouth. “Very good!” she said approvingly, as I thanked my parents for my years on the soccer field. Then, she turned around and looked disdainfully at Lexi. “You, girl – keep score. You can count?” she asked scathingly. “Yes, Mistress,” Lexi replied without emotion or emphasis. I nearly growled at Mistress Nicole for speaking to Lexi in such a manner, but Master Ethan seemed carefully indifferent. Mistress Nicole threw another grape in the air, closer to Ryan this time. His erection bobbed as he jumped to catch the grape. I looked over to Master Ethan, and he was scowling. It wasn’t all about pleasing Mistress Nicole, I realized, I needed to please Master Ethan too. I had to win. Mistress Nicole threw two grapes in succession this time. They were directed between us, but closer to Ryan. Launching myself in front of him, I snagged both. Master Ethan smiled in approval, and Lexi winked while Ryan growled. I was certain this was about to get much more difficult. Mistress Nicole launched four more grapes to various points over our heads, and while I got one, Ryan got the other three. “What’s the score, girl?” Mistress Nicole asked impatiently. “It’s tied at four each, Mistress,” Lexi answered. “Okay then, boys, here’s a few more as a tie breaker!” she laughed and threw grape after grape into the air and I didn’t even bother to watch Ryan, or the grapes I couldn’t reach. I just bounded up again and again fielding everything that came near 60

me. I pushed my body and my reflexes as hard as I could; I was determined to shine for Master Ethan. Finally, the volley stopped, and Master Nicole looked to Lexi. “Well, girl?” she asked, and again I felt a measure of anger welling inside me. “Jayden caught fourteen and Ryan caught thirteen, Mistress,” she answered calmly, still looking at the floor. I sighed in relief, and assumed my position once more as Master Ethan watched Lexi carefully. “Well, Jayden – it looks like you have the honor of serving me today,” she said smiling down at me. “I have to say that this pleases me.” In a harsher tone to Ryan she added “I will deal with you later – corner position, now!” Ryan moved quickly, but silently, and knelt facing one empty corner of the room, his nose just inches from the junction of the walls. Mistress Nicole walked over to me then and attached a leash to the ring at the back of my collar. “I do like how you had their collars designed with the ring on the back, Ethan,” she mused and then called down to me “Here, boy,” and patted her thigh. Though I was shocked by the thoroughly degrading gesture, I didn’t hesitate and went to her immediately, pressing my forehead to the floor at her feet. “Good boy,” she chuckled and ruffled my hair. As she led me around the room a few times with the leash, I couldn’t even look up at Lexi as we passed her. Finally, Mistress Nicole led me to a piece of equipment on the floor we had not used before; one Master Ethan had called a ‘stockade’ during my first tour of the room. The light metal tubing was lying horizontally on the floor in the shape of an upper case letter I. Attached to the ends of the horizontal bars were cuffs, and in the middle of the farther horizontal bar was a post standing perpendicular to the floor. She detached this post, and set it aside. “Ryan! Come!” she called over her shoulder, and he scampered quickly on his knees, clearly thrilled with his 61

reprieve. “Bind him,” she said harshly, and I was forced onto all fours over the bars with my wrists were bound to the farther horizontal bar, and my ankles to the bar closer to Mistress Nicole. I thought for a moment he would gag me, but then Mistress Nicole appeared in front of me, naked except for a harness strapped around her tiny waist and upper thighs. Protruding from the black straps was a rather impressively realistic black toy, no larger than Master Ethan’s own beautiful erection. “Kiss it,” she said with a wicked smirk and jerked my leash forward. I learned forward in my bindings and was able to come just close enough to press my lips to the rubber tip of her fake cock. She pushed her hips forward and it slid between my slightly parted lips. “That’s right baby, suck it,” she moaned in a husky voice as she moved her hips in a slow steady rhythm, watching intently as the toy slid in and out of my mouth. “So, fucking hot,” she said as she pulled back, and I felt it slide from between my lips. She paused in front of me and on impulse; I moved forward again and placed one long languid lick across its now warmed tip. After rubbing my head affectionately, she walked around my bound body. “Prepare him,” she said sternly, to Ryan, I assumed. A moment later I felt rough, strong fingers spreading lubricant into my anus. He wasn’t gentle or caring as Master Ethan or Lexi would have been. I braced myself as I felt her slowly push into me, and found it was similar to being to being taken by Master Ethan, but different. This…thing was cold and the motion of its penetration was erratic, where Master Ethan’s thrusts were smooth and deliberate. As I thought of being taken by Master Ethan, my erection grew, but I forced my mind back to Mistress Nicole and her fake sex before I could excite myself further, not knowing if she would even give me permission to come. She pulled back on my leash, not enough to choke or hurt me, just enough to pull my head up. “That’s it,” she began, 62

“Move your hips, show me how much you like it. Show me how much you love being fucked by your Mistress.” Pushing my hips back into her as she instructed, I felt a low moan escape me as I met her thrusts. After several minutes, she stopped and I thought maybe she had finished, but then I felt the thing inside me start to vibrate, and I knew when I heard her moaning that it was more for her benefit than mine. She began moving again, and I noticed that her rhythm had changed, more natural, and it felt so good. Grunting in time with her thrusts, her fingers tightened on my hips as she drove into me faster. “Fuck,” she exclaimed and pushed deep into me, keeping her pelvis locked against the vibrating toy as she came. Glancing up at Master Ethan, I found him watching me with a slight frown creasing his features. Had I displeased him? I hadn’t released without permission, and to be honest, I had felt no real need for release. I felt her set her toy, warm from my own body heat, and harness on my naked back, and they were talking, not paying any heed to me or two the other two subs. I heard Master Ethan say that something was an interesting idea, and then came Mistress Nicole’s command to gag me, which panicked me a little, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to use my safe word, but instead would have to rely on the hand signals Master Ethan and I had covered in our initial discussions. Ryan shoved the purple ball in my mouth and bound it tightly behind my head, the straps cut into my face, but I could do nothing about it. Next, he put some kind of mat between my spread legs on top of the steel stockade bars. I couldn’t imagine what this was for until he lay upon the mat, his face maybe six inches from my pelvic bone. My eyes closed of their own volition as I felt his mouth close around me, moaning into the gag as he started to suck, I wanted so badly to move my hips and fuck his mouth as he lay beneath me, but I didn’t dare move. My eyes flew open at the first blow of the strap on my naked buttocks. The pain was intense, worse than the paddle, worse than the crop. The combination of the pleasure of his mouth and the pain of the strap was mind63

blowing. I cried out into the gag as they continued mercilessly tormenting me as the sting of the strap drove my hips forward and deeper into his mouth. She could wield the strap hard for such a small woman. I bit down on the ball in my mouth, crying out around it as he sucked hard. Starting my technique, I tried to distance myself from the onslaught of sensation being inflicted on my body. Bringing up the vague US map in my head, I began to through the exercise, focusing harder on it with each sting of the strap. I knew my buttocks were going to be red and sore for days, but the feeling was so intense I couldn’t really find it in myself to complain, instead I concentrated on the technique, but found myself looking up to Master Ethan – begging through the gag, imploring, but only received a warning look from him in return. I knew I had to hold off, had to wait for her to give her permission, so I closed my eyes again and redoubled my focus, my head shaking back and forth as I concentrated. Finally, I heard Mistress Nicole’s voice near my ear. “Very good, boy. You please me, Jayden.” I kept my eyes closed, my jaw strained tight. “Fill his hot little mouth.” I moaned into my gag, a muffled expression of gratitude, not even having to focus on the sensations; I didn’t have to think at all, I just thrust my hips forward and allowed my orgasm to rip through me. Panting, I felt him swallowing around me, and somehow I found the energy to hold my head up and look at Master Ethan. The pride in his eyes warmed me. I stayed very still in my bindings while Master Ethan said goodbye to our guests. When he came back into the room a few minutes later, he went over to the wall, taking down a thick paddle. I thought he was pleased with me? What did I do? I didn’t think my buttocks could take anything else after the whipping with the strap I had just received. Watching him closely, he walked over to Lexi and pushed her roughly on to all fours.

64

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” he asked, and I noticed that even with Lexi he didn’t use a name when he was angry. It’s like when we displeased him, we were complete nonentities, we weren’t worthy of being named. “Do you think I’m stupid?” he growled at her, and for the first time since I’d known them, Lexi looked frightened. “No Master! I’m sorry, Master, please….” she cried as the first blows of the paddle struck her buttocks. “Would you like to tell Jayden what the real score was when you lied?” he asked roughly, and gave her several more smacks with the paddle. “It was tied, Master. Please…” “Why did you lie? Was it for his benefit?” he asked harshly, still paddling her with each word. Lexi had lied about how many grapes I caught, she’d tried to help me and now she was being punished, and cruelly for it. There was nothing I could do, I was still bound and gagged on the floor, but only watch helplessly as she took the blows, the tears streaming down her sweet face. “No, Master…I did it for you!” she explained, and the blows stopped. “I knew you wanted to impress her, and I wanted your sub to win. Please, Master, I’m sorry.” she sobbed. “Do you know what would have happened if she would have caught you? You will do nothing like this tomorrow with our other guests.” She shook her head, still crying weakly. “Go,” he demanded in a low voice. She jumped up and almost ran to the door, grabbing her clothes before leaving. I heard a sob just before the door slammed behind her. Master Ethan turned around and sighed before walking over to me. Without a word, he released my wrists and rubbed my arms. Then, he unbound my ankles and rubbed my legs. Finally, he removed the gag and placed a small light kiss on my cheek. “Jayden go sit on the low stool over there. We need to talk,” he spoke quietly. That phrase never boded well. I watched in 65

apprehension as he cleaned up from today’s activities. Finally, when everything was back in its proper place, he walked over to where I was sitting. “I asked Mistress Nicole to come over today and evaluate you….” he started hesitantly and then stopped. Closing his eyes, he clenched his hands into fists and continued. “To see if she would want you to wear her collar,” he blurted out quickly, and looked away. Stunned, then hurt, I wondered had I really been that bad of a sub that he wanted to pawn me off onto someone else? After all, he sucked me into this fucking life in the first place. If he didn’t want me, why couldn’t he have just left me the hell alone? I imagined I looked as if he’d just slapped me, and he saw these emotions pass over my face. “Jayden…” he said tenderly, and tried to touch my face, but I jerked away. “I only asked her because I thought you might be more comfortable submitting to a woman.” I looked up at him. Was he crazy? I could see where he might have thought that in the beginning, where it might have been easier for me. But not now, not after all he’s shown me, all that we’ve done together. How could he think I’d just give him back the cuff and go on to someone else? Still naked, I stood up, breaking my role and walked to the window, gazing over the grounds. I took in the entire landscape from the sculptured lawn to the pool, even the trees beyond the boundary of the yard. Never had I felt more naked, more vulnerable in his presence than I did right then. When I finally turned, I saw him sitting down on one of the nearby tables, his head in his hands, such an Ethan thing to do. I walked over to him and knelt as he looked up. “I want to wear your collar,” I said quietly, and he leaned forward, putting his forehead against mine. “Thank you,” he whispered gratefully. Pulling back slightly, he hesitated and the leaned forward again slowly. When I felt his lips gently brush mine, I closed my eyes. “Why don’t you get dressed, then we can sit in the kitchen and talk,” 66

he said, standing up and handing me my clothes. I got dressed quickly and we went downstairs. We decided on pasta for dinner, and began making it together. At first, we were silent, just working side by side, but my curiosity got the better of me and a question bubbled to my lips. “Ethan, can I ask you something?” I said, tentatively. “Yes. I’ll answer anything I feel comfortable talking about,” he replied, adding a little olive oil to the boiling water. It was strange just being around him like a normal guy. Outside the room, we were cordial, but not exactly close. “How did Lexi come to be your sub?” I asked, curious. I couldn’t imagine how someone could choose this type of relationship as their first sexual encounter. Their innocence being taken while suspended or over a sawhorse, like I’d seen him taking Lexi countless times. What had prompted her to choose this kind of life? Had he given her an ultimatum as he had me? “I’m sorry, Jayden,” Ethan said as he removed the pasta from the water and drained it. “That’s really Lexi’s story to tell.” He put the pasta onto two plates and spooned sauce over it. “Could you grab a bottle of wine from the cellar?” I nodded and went to grab a bottle of red to go with the pasta. When I returned, he had everything set up on the table. He uncorked the wine, and we sat down to eat together, something we hadn’t really done since my first few weeks here. I winced slightly at the soreness from Mistress Nicole’s exuberant ministrations. “Then how about a different question….” I mused, and took a sip of the wine, which was very nice – smooth, and robust. “Why did you leave the room last night?” Taking a bite of his pasta, he thought, as if he was trying to decide how to phrase something. After another sip of wine, he spoke. “I suppose I was jealous,” he started, “Not in the way that you might think, however. I have chosen a certain lifestyle, and with that lifestyle there are sacrifices. The whole falling in love, getting married, having children, and living in a little house 67

with a white picket fence isn’t really in the cards for me.” He looked almost, disappointed for a moment, and then he continued. “When I told you to take Lexi as you pleased, I had expected you to dominate and take her. I was unprepared for the intensity of your coupling. I had not expected Lexi to make that kind of request of you; she has never made it of me. It made me wonder if I’d made the right choice. It made me wonder if maybe I shouldn’t look for love instead of submission in a woman. The emotion flowing between you was startling, especially since you haven’t spent that much time together. In the end, I decided that I had made the right choice for me. While I may envy the emotional connection, I have no need for any other aspect of that type of relationship. Do you understand what I mean?” I nodded affirmatively. Ethan was very affectionate in our sessions because he wants some kind of emotional connection, but he doesn’t want a relationship based on it. I sat back and thought, wondering if I would ever have a ‘normal’ relationship now. Is this what my life would be like forever? But then, Nicole said that Ethan had once been her sub, so things must evolve in this lifestyle eventually. I wonder what my life will be like in five years. “Mistress Nicole said that you once wore her collar. You were a sub?” I asked, wondering if this question was going out of our comfort zone. His eyes sparkled and he grinned as took another drink of wine. At first, I thought he wasn’t going to answer, but he surprised me. “Yes. Often, the best subs eventually make the best Doms. Quite a few of Doms that I know started out as subs, it’s fairly common. I met Nicole while I was in college through a friend that was her collared sub. He recognized the potential in me, much like I did in you, certain personality traits that are common in those of us that enjoy this lifestyle. Nicole agreed, and showed me what my life could be like with her. After 68

about three years as her sub, we both felt like it was time for me to grow into a different type of relationship. She taught me how to be a Dom. She helped me set up the playroom, and helped find my first collared sub. I found that I was much more comfortable on this side of the leash.” Shrugging, he picked up his plate and glass from the table. Walking into the kitchen with his dishes, he left me thinking. Is that what awaited me? The thought excited me - to have a beautiful girl writhing on a table, every part of her under my control. “Jayden?” Ethan asked, breaking me from my thoughts. “Can I ask you a question now?” I nodded, and we went into the living room where I sat on the couch facing the fireplace, and he took his place in one of the overstuffed arm chairs. “Why did you look in the room?” I felt my face heat up. “Curiosity, mostly. I couldn’t understand why you’d forbid it, you could have just said it was for storage. I imagined all kinds of illegal activities going on in there. I never imagined what was really in there. I feel so stupid about it now.” I sighed, and he laughed. “So, why did you choose to accept my ultimatum?” he asked with a smirk. “I really had no intension of throwing you out of the house.” “Deep down, I think I knew that. But, to be honest what I saw in the room excited me. The thought of you in that room excited me. The thought of you and the beautiful girl I’d seen going down the hall with you really excited me. It also scared the hell out of me. In the end, I guess one won out over the other and I ended up glad that it did.” I said shyly, grinning slightly. He stood up then, starting to head toward the stairs. “I’m glad it did too,” he said as he passed, tousling my hair before heading up to bed. *

*

*

Lexi was subdued as we prepared for the next visitor. We were still wearing our collars, and I brushed her hair tenderly. 69

When Master Ethan wasn’t looking, I placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. She smiled, and stroked my calf from where she was sitting at my feet. After a few minutes, we changed position, and she brushed my hair gently with one hand stroking my neck as she did so. Then, we applied the oil to each other’s bodies as we had done the day before. Within the hour we were ready for Master Ethan’s new guests. I wondered briefly if this was a regular occurrence, if we would often need to perform like circus animals for his friends. Then I shook my head, this is the life I’ve chosen and it is what I want. I will do what I need to in order to please him. “Lexi?” Master Ethan asked as he came over to us. Rushing forward on her knees, she pressed her forehead to the floor at his feet before he knelt and pulled her shoulders up so that they were eye to eye. “You understand your mistake from yesterday?” She nodded. “Our guest today does not like to play such games, but he is coming specifically for you. You will please him, won’t you my Lexi?” “Yes, Master Ethan,” she said, a single tear falling down her cheek. Given my experience with failing him, I knew it was because he had called her his Lexi. It was a tear of relief that he was no longer angry with her. He wiped her tear away and kissed her on the forehead. Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to calm herself before returning to her position next to me. “Jayden, I’m not sure you’ll have much to do today besides help me with Lexi. He has never collared a male sub. It’s not his thing,” he said, stroking my hair. “But, did you learn from Lexi’s mistake yesterday?” I nodded quickly and he smiled, just as the bell sounded downstairs. Master Ethan looked at Lexi and noticed that she was still silently crying. “Jayden, I’m going to go downstairs and welcome our guests. Can you finish getting her ready? I can give you about ten minutes.” I knew what he needed of me, and as soon as the door closed, I took Lexi’s face in my hands.

70

“It’s alright, sweetheart, he’s not mad,” I whispered, my hands combing through her hair. “I just...w...wanted to….” she started between her small sobs, but faltered. Apparently, Master Ethan did not get angry with her often if this was her reaction. “Well, it will please Master Ethan if you perform well for his guests today. Right, Lexi?” I suggested gently, and she nodded her breathing coming back under control. “Can I help you get ready, honey?” Again, she nodded and I leaned toward her, my eyes falling to her soft pink lips. My breathing sped slightly in anticipation. I reached for her, and put one hand against the small of her back and the other behind her neck. Our kiss started off softly at first, but intensified quickly. We broke apart after a moment, and my lips went to her ear. “Do you remember one of our last kisses Lexi? The kiss where you made me so excited I came all over your stomach?” Moaning, she kissed me again as I ran my fingers very lightly down her back, and she shivered. Her nipples hardened and I felt them against my chest. “That’s it….” I murmured as my fingers trailed down over her soft buttocks. Suddenly, she pushed her hips forward, pressing her soft skin right against mine, and I gasped into her mouth. She giggled and pulled back just as I heard the knob rattle. We both jerked back into our positions as the door opened and Master Ethan came through with his guest. The man that walked into our room was striking, tall with light brown hair flecked with grey, and beautiful soft brown eyes. His body was lean and he had a calm, peaceful air about him. Dressed in jeans and a beige sweater, he looked casual, approachable, more like a college professor than anything else. Thinking about this man as a Dom surprised me. “Stephen, these are my subs Jayden and Lexi.” Ethan indicated each one of us with a soft pat on the head. We obediently kept our eyes down, and as our names were called

71

we each dropped to rest our forehead on the floor in front of him. “Very nice, Ethan,” Stephan said approvingly. “I’m sorry that Virginia wasn’t able to be here with us, she wasn’t feeling well. Thankfully, her pregnancy is going as well as can be expected. She insisted that I come anyway, she knows how … difficult it is for me without her service.” “I’m sure,” Master Ethan said with a smile in his voice. I imagined that he had one eyebrow cocked and had that wicked smirk well in place. “Quite,” Master Stephen countered with a laugh. They walked around the playroom as Master Ethan gave him a brief tour. It seemed that Master Stephen was trying to decide how best to utilize our services today. I heard Master Ethan say that something was acceptable to him, and they came back. Each was carrying several lengths of the black rope from the far wall, Master Stephen also had Lexi’s red ball gag in his hand. “Stand,” Master Ethan instructed us, and we complied immediately. “Jayden – go to the wide table closest to the door. Lie on it and wait for me. Lexi – come here.” We did as we were instructed, and from my position on the table, I still had a good view of the three of them near the center of the room. Master Ethan was holding Lexi’s arms over her head, and after Master Stephen stroked Lexi’s face once or twice with his free hand, he smiled at her as he uncoiled a long piece of rope. I watched in total fascination as he wound the rope intricately around Lexi’s bare torso. The elegant black rope began to frame and outline different parts of her in a beautiful and erotic fashion. The creamy ivory skin of her breasts contrasted sharply with the black lines of rope encircling them. When he forced the taut ropes between her legs, she barely stifled her gasp. The tight bindings outlined her sex beautifully with one line pulled hard on either side. The pressure of the ropes forced her open and she shivered, unclear if her reaction was from the temperature of the room or the exposure. 72

When he finished with the bindings on her torso, the pattern faintly resembled a chain linked fence interwoven without a single knot. It was elegant, artistic, and beautiful and I couldn’t decide which I wanted more – to be able to master that kind of art, or to be its canvas. He turned Lexi slowly, and I saw that her back was just as intricate, as beautifully vulnerable as her front. Master Stephen brought Lexi’s arms down gently behind her and began the same process again on her arms with a shorter length of rope, binding her at the wrists, the elbows, and then only slightly farther up her delicate arms. He stroked her hair gently as Master Ethan pulled it back so that Master Stephen could affix her gag. Then, they turned her to face me. She was glorious in her bondage, a goddess in human form, and I wished I could photograph her in this moment, not only for myself, but for her. With her legs unbound, they led her over to where I lay. As Master Stephen began to put Lexi’s hair up in a soft bun, Master Ethan tied my arms above my head, and my ankles to a bar. Unlike my first day in the room, he left my legs down and secured them to the table so that my knees were bent and open, and my feet were planted firmly on the table. It was only then that I realized what was coming, and incredibly, I got harder. They lifted her onto the table and positioned her over me. Pulling her legs wide apart, she was pushed down slowly over the head of my hardened sex, she felt so good around me that I bit back a moan as my eyes rolled back. She held perfectly still and I fought hard against the urge to thrust myself up into her. The sound of the crop on her skin caught me by surprise as I felt her tighten around me for just a second, and she closed her eyes. Finally releasing a moan, I tried to touch her, forgetting for a moment that I was bound. With each subsequent lick of the crop on her skin, her warm, wet sex clenched around me, such delicious torture. I watched as Master Stephen whipped her buttocks, her thighs, and her breasts. After a while, Master Ethan held up one hand and he stopped. 73

Master Ethan put his lips to Lexi’s ear and asked in a low sultry voice, “Does that feel good, my Lexi?” Throwing head back, she groaned into the gag, nodding. “Tell me what you want, Lexi….” He murmured into the skin of her neck, his hands trailing very lightly between the ropes on her skin. Whimpering into the gag, she opened her eyes and looked at him. As his fingers reached her breasts, he whispered, “Do you want to fuck him, my Lexi? Do you want to ride him?” She whimpered again, nodding, and he pushed down hard on her shoulders and she sunk down onto me fully. My entire length was now buried in her. Master Ethan held her shoulders so that we stayed like that for a few moments. In my mind, I was begging him to let her ride me. I wanted it so fucking badly. “Work yourself on him, Lexi, use him,” he commanded in that wickedly powerful tone. He stepped backwards and watched as Lexi began to move. It was a challenge for her, bound as she was, but she used her muscles in her legs to work herself in long hard strokes on my aching sex. I groaned softly at the intense feeling of her on top of me, coupled with the viciously erotic sight of her bonds. She had just found a steady rhythm, one that was making me weak in the knees, she moaned with each thrust, and Master Stephen had moved to stand against a nearby table watching, while Master Ethan was now standing behind Lexi. His hands moved, and she cried out behind her gag, I looked down and noticed that he was sliding his fingers into her rectum. After a moment, I could feel his fingers inside of her as she slid down onto me. It was depraved and decadent, but it excited me and my hips began to thrust up into hers of their own volition. Once he had properly prepared her, he pushed her forward bending her at the waist. Her movements stilled, and she groaned loudly as he entered her. “Your turn to move those sweet little hips Jayden.” Master Ethan said in a strained voice. “Orgasm when you’re ready.” In my restraints, it was difficult, but I saw why he had tied me with my feet planted on the table. I grabbed the ropes above my bound wrists for any measure of leverage and thrust my 74

hips up as well as I could. When my eyes found Lexi’s face, I saw her total wanton abandon and a feeling of lust shot through my stomach and straight to my overexcited cock. Her muffled grunts and cries as she was repeatedly and alternately filled just drove that frenzied lust higher. She closed her eyes then and I knew she was trying to hold off her orgasm. Seeing her working so hard, feeling her tightening, hearing her muffled cries, and feeling Master Ethan as we were both inside of her was far too much for me. My head drove back into the padding on the table, and I thrust my hips up hard, seeing bright colored lights pop in front of my eyes as I came hard into her. I locked my jaw against the guttural cry trying to claw its way out of me. As I worked to catch my breath, Master Ethan pushed Lexi down onto my chest and fucked her in earnest. Her head was just below my chin, so I tilted my head and kissed her hair, and as I felt my softening sex slide from her, I let my head hit the padding of the table. As I turned my face to the side, I caught sight of Master Stephen still watching us. He was leaning against one of the taller tables with his jeans down to his knees, unashamedly stroking his impossibly hard, thick sex. As I watched, his breathing accelerated wildly and he threw his head back. The taut lines of his jaw and throat strained as he silently came, thick jets of white semen were forced from his cock as his orgasm consumed him. Slowly, his hand stopped and a low groan escaped him. As his eyes met mine again, he smiled. “Every inch of you is mine,” Master Ethan growled suddenly, drawing my attention back to them, Lexi nodding in response. “Even your orgasms are mine. You want to come don’t you?” he asked in a forced whisper and she nodded again. There was nothing else she could do gagged as she was, still softly grunting in time with his hard thrusts. He slid his hand between us, and I felt it graze my already hardening sex before stroking her slowly. “Yeah, you like having my cock in your ass, don’t you? It makes you so fucking hot,” he said rubbing her harder. “Show me. Come hard for me – now Lexi.” The combination of his 75

words, his tone, and his body forced Lexi over the edge. I watched as she focused on her body, now feeling every bit of the pleasure he gave her. She pulled her head up, and her body stiffened as she screamed into the gag. If they were mere lovers she would have been screaming his name. His cries were more defined, but just as inarticulate as he followed suit. He pulled her back into him, grabbing her hips hard. With one final thrust, his face pressed into her back and he panted. “Ah, my Lexi,” he murmured as he stroked her hip gently. His hand moved down slowly, and then he was stroking my hip. With a sigh, he disengaged himself from us, reattaching the panel to his leather pants. When he went over to talk to Master Stephen, I placed another soft kiss in her hair, and she pressed herself closer to me. “Let me go grab a damp hand towel. Would you untie them?” I heard Master Ethan asking Master Stephen. He must have agreed because within seconds he was standing next to us, loosening the ropes on Lexi’s arms, and then he leaned down to murmur in her ear. “It’s too bad your Master is so possessive of you, little Lexi. I would have so dearly loved to hear you screaming my name as I fucked you.” Master Ethan came back after we had both been released, and we watched as they both dressed. Our Master walked his guest out, and we waited anxiously for his return. “You both performed admirably,” Master Ethan told us after he had returned. “Master Stephen was impressed with both of you.” Then he turned toward us, and hopped up to sit on one of the tables. “I will be out of town from Wednesday until Saturday morning for a medical conference. I will expect both of you to be waiting for me in this room at noon on Saturday. I’m sure I will have stress that needs to be relieved. Is that clear?” We both agreed in unison and were subsequently dismissed.

76

I didn’t see much of Ethan over the next few days, he was staying late at the hospital gearing up for his absence. This was actually helpful to me because we were starting up a new term, and I had a lot of work to get through. I spent most of the week barricaded in my room researching my term paper. Finally, I had a term with only two courses, but I knew I’d have just as much work. That was when those summers I spent doubling up paid off. I was enjoying my research project just a bit too much this term. The question dealt with the intricacies and alliances of different groups during the Civil War. The problem was, every time I came across a reference with state allegiances, I got hard. It was nice to enjoy my research, but it was starting to get distracting. By Friday afternoon, after the book entitled States Rights and Roles, I knew I needed to just walk away for a while. I was scrolling through the contacts on my phone, realizing just how out of touch I had been with my friends. It just seemed like a whole different lifetime ago that I hung out with these people. Now, I didn’t even know who to call to catch a beer with. As I scrolled through, I received an incoming text. When I opened it, it read simply ‘Pizza?’ It was from Lexi. I smiled and replied quickly with ‘Yes, Please! Want me to pick you up?’ She said she would stop by since she was already out. Half an hour later, we were on my motorcycle headed to a local pizza place, forcing myself not to think of the fact that she had her arms tightly around me, her breasts pressed against my back, and that I was positioned between her legs. God, there is just something about this girl that made me crazy. After pulling into the lot at the pizza place, we swung off the bike and headed for the door, but I stopped dead when I started to see other people. I hadn’t really been out since Ethan and I entered into our agreement. The cuff on my wrist was like a beacon. I felt like I had a neon sign over my head that read “sexual deviant”. My whole life seemed to have changed in the span of a couple of weeks. Could I really go in there and appear to be normal? 77

“Jayden, what is it?” hand.

Lexi asked, concerned, taking my

“I…I haven’t….” I started, but really, how do I explain this? “You’re still the same person,” she said slowly, squeezing my hand. “It’s not like anyone will be able to tell. I know it’s a little unnerving at first. It’s okay, really.” She tugged on my hand and pulled me toward the door. Before we reached the other people near the entrance, she stopped pulling on my hand and I halted. “Maybe we should have gone to that sandwich place instead,” she suggested, looking around. “Why? What is it?” I asked her nervously. Had she seen someone she knew? “I could have really gone for a couple of subs,” she said with a deadpan expression, and then started to giggle. “That was bad, Lexi.” I said, laughing in spite of myself. “Yeah, it was pretty sub-par, wasn’t it?” she agreed, pensively, and then burst out laughing. I rolled my eyes as we made our way inside. “Okay, I’ll try to be more subdued,” she said with a little fake sigh as the hostess came up to help us. She eyed me speculatively as she showed Lexi and me to an open booth. “She’s staring at me,” I admitted quietly to Lexi, who laughed. “You’re gorgeous, of course she’s staring,” she said, rolling her eyes. Then she was serious. “The first time I went out after Ethan and I started our agreement, I was with a group of girls from school. I just knew they could see right through me and I felt…naked. It was a while before I started feeling ‘normal’ again.” “Can I ask you something?” I said in a low voice after the waitress took our order. 78

“Sure, Jayden.” She reached over and squeezed my hand. “How did you end up as Ethan’s sub?” I asked, whispering the last word. She blinked. Apparently, that wasn’t the question she was expecting. “Oh….” she said her smile widening. “It’s probably not the sordid tale you’re imagining. I’m not a kidnapped harem girl, or anything. He didn’t win me in a game of poker.” She giggled. “My sophomore year of college, I roomed with a senior named Genevieve. We were friends, but I was different then. I was painfully shy, with glasses and long braids, and really had no self confidence, and I spent most of my time reading. I had few friends and never really went out.” She shrugged, and looked down at the table. I squeezed her hand this time, encouraging her to continue. “A few times near the end of the year, she came home upset. I tried to get her to tell me what was wrong, but she wouldn’t. Finally, one night she came home and I was reading an erotic novel, as I had done a few times before. Her eyes widened, and she asked me about it. At first, I tried to play it off but I could see that she wasn’t going to judge me. So, I told her about my fascination with BDSM and D/s. She smiled at me and then told me about Ethan. She was his collared sub, but she’d gotten accepted to an MBA program in California and would have to terminate their relationship, she was upset about leaving him. We talked all night about her role and about Ethan. By morning, she said that she’d talk to him about training me. I’d never even been with a guy before. I couldn’t imagine why he would want me, I was so inexperienced.” She laughed softly at the memory, and I was entranced by the sound of it. Just then, the waitress brought the pizza we’d ordered. I took another drink of my beer and Lexi did the same. “Ethan agreed to meet with me, and we talked for about an hour. We talked about my fantasies, and about the needs and expectations of a D/s relationship. Then, we went up to the room. He had me remove my clothes; it was the most erotic 79

experience. He was exceptionally gentle as he touched me over several different parts of my body. Now I know he was testing my responsiveness. He gave me my very first orgasm, just with his hands. From that point, I was his. I’d do whatever I could to please him.” She finished, shifting a little in her seat. “You said that you were a virgin. Was he….?” I asked timidly. “He was gentle and caring. It wasn’t what you might be thinking,” she explained quietly, looking away. “We weren’t in a bed, but I wasn’t bound. He was patient with me, and we worked up to it over a series of sessions. I can’t imagine that any other Dom would have been so tolerant with me.” I nodded and inwardly marveled at Ethan’s ability to read people. He knew that I would need an immediate immersion while Lexi required more patience. We finished our pizza and ordered another round of beers. As we drank a few more beers each, we talked, she wanted to know about my family, and she told me some about hers. We talked about our vanilla relationships and anything else we could think of. When the conversation turned to the future, her face clouded slightly and she quickly changed the subject, so I didn’t press, figuring she’d tell me if she wanted to. We walked back to the bike, and Lexi was all smiles again, which I was fairly sure that had to do with her alcohol content. I swung my leg over the bike and she stood next to me. “I had fun tonight, Jayden. I still don’t go out all that often – thanks,” she said, smiling and leaning forward. At first, I thought she was going to kiss my cheek, but she put her small hand on the side of my face and pulled it to hers. I reveled in the feeling of her lips on mine, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. Her fingers entwined themselves in my hair, as our mouths danced together in a perfect rhythm. It was only when she moaned softly against my mouth that I remembered where we were, and more to the point, what we were.

80

“Lexi, honey, let’s get you home.” Sighing, she rested her head on my shoulder. “I don’t want to go home. Can we go back and watch movies at your house?” she asked in a small voice. Something was definitely bothering her and I wished with all my heart that she would trust me, and confide in me. I mean, we were in this together now, weren’t we? She’s been there for me when I needed someone. We got back to the house and she picked out a DVD while I went up to change. When I came back down, she was putting something into the player. I tossed one of my t-shirts and a pair of gym shorts to her. Grinning, she started to strip, and I turned quickly to spread the blanket on the couch for us to sit under. “Jayden….” she said, giggling. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me in much less.” I nodded, and she came around to sit on the couch in her borrowed clothes. As the movie started, she snuggled into my side, and I put my arm around her. I couldn’t believe how comfortable I felt with her when I felt so out of place with other people now. Going through my contacts earlier, I couldn’t find one person, one friend, that I felt comfortable being with right now – even Kimberly. My sister had left a few messages for me over the last two weeks, and I had finally decided that I would call her the next day. I was just afraid that she’d be able to hear it in my voice; I never could hide anything from her. I looked down and noticed that during my inner monologue, Lexi had fallen asleep on my shoulder, her presence felt nice. “No…” she mumbled. “Don’t want to….” I held her closer; she was having a bad dream. “Please… I can’t….” I frowned. What could she be dreaming about? Was in the same thing she was upset over earlier? “Ethan…I don’t want….” She shifted, and I began stroking her face.

81

“Shhhhhh…Lexi, honey…It’s okay,” I reassured her. She quieted and said, “Mmmmm…Jayden…” I chuckled, and she snuggled a little closer, appearing to fall into a deeper sleep. I woke up around two in the morning and turned off the television. I got Lexi settled comfortably on the couch and turned to go up to bed. Before I did, however, I leaned down and kissed her softly on the forehead. She sighed contentedly. The next morning, I awoke with a smile and rolled to look at the clock. It was already 10:30am. I sat straight up in bed – God, I never sleep this late. Ethan should already be back, and I wondered if Lexi was still on the couch. Would he be okay with that? An uneasy feeling settled in my stomach and I rolled out of the bed. I was on the stairs when I heard raised voices. Damn, I need to tell Ethan it was me that left her on the couch; I didn’t want him upset with her. Then I heard something that made me stop in my tracks and listen. “You know why I can’t stay, Ethan,” Lexi said, her voice weary. “When we made the arrangement, you knew it was short term. I made it very clear that I wanted to go to grad school at NYU.” “I know, but I thought given the change in your feelings, that it might make you stay,” he said, sighing. “Granted, I don’t have a whole lot of experience with relationships, but I thought if you cared about someone….” he trailed off. She was in love with him, that much was evident. Why did I suddenly feel left out of the equation? “You know it wouldn’t work out, Ethan. We can’t have that kind of a relationship,” she explained, almost too softly for me to hear. “Give me some time, Lexi,” he requested with an eerily calm voice. If it were me, I’d be pleading with her to stay. If it 82

weren’t such a good opportunity for her career, I might have anyway. “I have two months before I leave for NYU,” she said with a steely note of pride. “You know that’s not enough time,” he said dryly, and I couldn’t help but wonder what his problem was. “Well, then maybe…maybe after….” she said, her voice breaking on the last word. The muffled sobs indicated he was comforting her. Swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat at the sound of her heartbreak, I went back upstairs with only about an hour before we were due in the room. I wondered briefly if Lexi would be there. Before I knew it, I was naked and on my knees waiting for Master Ethan. I had spent the last ten minutes clearing my mind of the conversation I have inadvertently heard. There was no place for it now because my only focus was on pleasing Master Ethan. A few minutes later, he came in alone a few minutes later and slammed the door behind him. He was angry, that much was evident, but I didn’t know who his anger was directed at, and I certainly wasn’t going to make it any worse. Or so I thought… “Jayden, am I really that bad of a Master?” he asked scornfully. I didn’t know what I should say. “Answer me!” He roared, and I nearly cringed back from the hostility in his voice, but I caught myself. “N…No Master Ethan,” I stammered, looking almost fearfully into his face. “This is what you consider your position to be then?” He sneered at me. “Your posture is a disgrace.” Abruptly, he turned and walked to a nearby closet, where he pulled out some kind of restraint I’d never seen before, he returned to where I was kneeling. The restraint looked like nothing more than a ramrod straight metal bar with a collar at the top and two cuffs at bottom of the bar. 83

“Stand up and turn around,” he snarled at me, and I complied immediately. He buckled the collar around my neck securely, and then my back was forced perfectly straight as my wrists were buckled into the cuffs. “Better,” he said walking around me. “On your knees... Legs spread….” I got to my knees carefully and spread my legs as far as I could comfortably. It was difficult since the collar didn’t allow me to put my head down – I couldn’t see to guide myself. He came around in front of me again and said, “Let’s see if any of your other services are lacking today. Open!” I opened my mouth and he drove in his hardened sex. Abruptly, he stopped, and I waited, but he remained stationary. “Well?” he taunted, and I began to suck him awkwardly moving my head back and forth, restricted by the collar device. I pulled back and moved my mouth lower, taking his balls into my mouth, using my tongue, and then very lightly sucked them. He moaned, and put his fingers in my hair. “Very good… Thatta boy….” He nearly groaned. Pulling back again, I took him into my mouth, noticing he had a stronger sense of urgency now. “I love fucking your hot little mouth,” he said in a low whisper. I continued to do my best, bobbing my head back and forth, trying to pull him deeper each time. The door opened then, and we heard a gasp. Briefly, I wondered if Lexi had never seen this restraint before either. I kept to my task, not bothering to open my eyes and Master Ethan said, “Wait downstairs in the drawing room.” “What the fuck is going on here?” A stunned voice shrieked, and I felt my stomach fall through the floor. It wasn’t Lexi. It was Kimberly. My sister was standing in the doorway, watching me naked, bound, and hard as steel pleasuring another man. Her long blond hair had been pulled up away from her face, so her piercing grey eyes were now almost prominent in her normally porcelain face. Now, her face was red, either with embarrassment or rage, I wasn’t quite sure. 84

Standing with perfectly manicured nails on the hips of her designer jeans, she was obviously waiting for an answer to her question. She tapped the toe of her high heeled shoe silently against the carpeting in the hall. It looked like she was almost afraid to actually come into the room with us. My mind just couldn’t process what was happening. Why was Kimberly here? Why didn’t she just go downstairs? When Master Ethan asked me if I wanted to use my safe word in a jeering tone, I just sucked harder. The higher functioning, humiliated side of me wanted to pull back and scream it. This wasn’t something Kimberly needed to see. But the baser side, the one that was still aroused beyond all measure just wanted to bring about his orgasm, and hopefully one for myself in return. The conflict raging in me made me a little dizzy, and I focused on the task at hand. He groaned softly, and said to her in a low voice. “Unless you want to watch me come in his sweet little mouth, you’ll go downstairs.” A low guttural moan escaped him then, and he added, “Now.” My mind screamed at me, wondering why he wasn’t stopping this. He should let me get rid of her so we can finish at the very least. But there was a small part of me, the twisted depraved part that was glad he didn’t stop. That part made me hollow out my cheeks, desperate for his come. I heard the door slam and Master Ethan put his hands on either side of my head. He stilled my feeble movements and started stronger ones of his own. Grunting with each thrust, even I could tell he was excited by our being caught, fucking my mouth until he came with a deep groan. I swallowed around him, still trying desperately to please him. He pulled away, panting, and tucked himself back into his pants. Without a word, he released me from the restraint and put it back in the closet. Finally, he came back to stand in front of me. “Go deal with her,” he growled in an annoyed tone. “Make sure she knows never to come into this room again. We will finish this later.” Then he left the room, and I felt the traitor 85

tears stinging my eyes. I got dressed quickly, trying to will my protruding erection down. When I felt calm again, I went downstairs and found her standing near the front window looking out. I didn’t see Ethan; he must have gone up to his room. I could only imagine the punishment I would get for this, sucking a sharp breath as my body started to respond to that thought I pushed it out of my mind, and I walked toward my sister. “What are you doing here, Kimberly?” I asked, and even to me, my voice sounded ashamed. I knew she had probably walked into that room by accident as I told her only that the second floor was my space. It never occurred to me to tell her about that particular room. I hadn’t wanted to arouse her suspicions. Kimberly could be very perceptive when she wanted to be. “You got mail at my house,” she said, waving her hand like that part was inconsequential. “What the fuck was that, Jayden?” she asked, and I knew she was upset. She never called me “Jayden”. It was always “J” or “Jade”, just like I always called her “Kim” or “Kimmy”. From the tone of her voice, and her devastated expression, something had broken between us. My chest tightened at the thought. But really, how the hell could I explain that to her when I could barely explain it to myself. She would be ashamed of me, and I just couldn’t deal with that. “That,” I said, emphasizing the word, “was none of your concern.” My voice was drawn and hard. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked in a small voice. “I thought we could tell each other anything?” I gaped at her. How could she expect that I would just lay out my sex life for her? Right now I was having problems assimilating this new aspect into the rest of my life; I couldn’t explain it to her. “Do you tell me about your sex life?” I asked, incredulous. Not that she had to tell me, I heard more than a few examples of 86

it when I was staying on her couch, and I never could look at Josh the same way again. “Not that, Jayden. Why didn’t you tell me that you’re gay? Didn’t you trust me?” she asked softly, and I sighed. I could see where she would be hurt by that. Even in high school when other brothers and sisters hated each other, Kimberly and I told each other everything. Hell, she helped me with girls, I helped her with guys. She had always been my best friend. But, I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her about this. “I’m not gay,” I said dryly. At least, I didn’t consider myself as such. It’s not like I would be trolling gay bars and picking up guys, even if my relationship with Ethan were to end. It wasn’t about it being Ethan; it was about it being Master Ethan. “Well then, I’m really fucking confused because I thought I just walked in on you – on your knees for your roommate.” She yelled and her voice cracked. “I am not going to talk about this with you,” I said softly, avoiding her eyes. How could she think that I would go into something like this with her? It was personal, a private thing between Ethan and me. Only Lexi knew, and that was because she was a part of it. “Are you…Are you in trouble, Jay? Is that why? I can pay your rent if you need…” She broke off suddenly at the look on my face. “Get out,” I said in a low voice, my anger escalated exponentially. She thought I was being his little bitch for money, fucking him for the rent? Suddenly, my stomach turned in realization of her low opinion of me, apparently losing all of her respect now. I hated myself for it. I hated her for it. “Jay, I…” she started, but then faltered again. She looked heartbroken. “You just fucking called me a WHORE, Kimberly! I don’t owe him money. I’m not being forced to do anything. I do it because I fucking like it. Having him tie me up and fuck me 87

turns me on – is that what you wanted to know? Now GET OUT!” I roared at her in my utter mortification, and she ran, dropping two envelopes on a nearby table just before she went through the door. I slammed it behind her and went upstairs to my room, lying down on my bed; I let the tears finally fall. My sister thinks I’m a prostitute. Ethan is angry with me because of Kimberly. Lexi is leaving. What the hell is happening to my life? After a while, I heard the door open, but I didn’t move. I didn’t want to see his face, and I wondered briefly if he had heard my sister. God, I feel so fucking dirty. That thought made the sobs come harder and I felt a hand on my head, trying to soothe me. Then, I felt the bed shift with someone’s weight and they were lying next to me. When I rolled over in surprise, I found Lexi with her arms open. I fell into them and she held me for a long time. Finally after an immeasurable period of simply stroking my hair, she said, “I brought the envelopes she left for you. They look like acceptance letters.” I nodded, not caring right then. At least that explained why Kimberly was there. “You can talk to me, Jayden. We’re friends. That’s what friends do,” she whispered. I squeezed her, letting her know that I appreciated her words, and I thought for a minute, deciding that I needed to talk to somebody, and Lexi may understand what I’m thinking much more than anyone else. “I feel like my life has suddenly left my control,” I explained softly, burying my face in her shoulder. “I had a plan just a couple of months ago of where my life was going, and how I was going to get there. Then, I answered that ad, and I looked in that room. Now my sister, probably my best friend in the world thinks that I’m a prostitute. Ethan, the one who started this whole mess, is angry with me. And the one person that might possibly understand me… is leaving me. Then there is this whole other side. It the side that is glad Kimberly found out because now I don’t have to hide anymore. It’s the side that is jealous of your relationship with Ethan. Maybe I should take 88

one of those acceptance letters and just go, no matter how good this school is for my career. That path just seems like it belongs to a different person now.” She pulled back to look into my face. “Jayden, you cannot make any decisions now while you’re so upset. You have time to make that kind of choice,” she advised, stroking my face. “You can sit down and go through the pros and cons of each option, you are a rational man. Now, your sister will get over things. She’s just shocked and confused. Imagine how it would look to you if you walked in on her and Mistress Nicole, for example.” I shuddered, trying to block that mental image from my head. “Exactly. There are only so many conclusions she could have drawn from what she saw. However, I think it was really poor taste to jump to the one she did. I don’t blame you for being angry with her, and that will take time to get past. About my leaving, it’s true, I can’t deny that. You and I can keep in touch, Jayden. We can call, text, email, and even webcam if you want. I’ll be there for you and you’ll be here for me. Again, because that’s what friends do. And finally, I’m not sure what you mean by being jealous of my relationship with Ethan?” “He’s so possessive of you.” I tried not to let the jealousy color my tone, but was unsuccessful. “He let that woman and her sub use me right in front of him,” Turning my face away from her, I rubbed my forehead above my closed eyes. “He won’t let anyone touch you. When he let me touch you he left the room so he wouldn’t have to watch. I don’t understand. Why does he value me so little?” I cried, unable to stop the anguish. “I try so hard to be what he wants me to be. I never seem to be good enough. That’s why I think maybe I should take one of the other offers. If I’m not good enough, maybe I should just go.” I said, my eyes still closed, I couldn’t face her expression. Shocked that I had revealed so much of myself, so much of my shame to her, I kept my face hidden against her shoulder. I had just admitted being angry that I’d had sex with a woman when I could have been having sex with Ethan. How 89

fucked up is that? Then, to my utter amazement, she pulled my face up, and kissed me. “It’s not that Jayden,” she sighed. “I wish you’d have talked to me about this. I could have saved you a lot of anxiety. The agreement in our relationship that no one else touch me is my condition, not his.” Stunned, I looked up at her. I hadn’t realized he would take our wishes into consideration like that. I mean we had talked about limits, things we absolutely wouldn’t do, but it never occurred to me to include other people on that list. “Due to my lack of experience with men, it was one of my terms for him in entering into the relationship. He agreed. You were the one exception to that original agreement. I knew that I would be leaving soon, and I wanted to have a different kind of sexual experience so I asked Ethan to set that up with you. I knew that you would be a tender and caring lover, which was what I wanted.” I kissed her forehead, and she giggled. “See – exactly like that. As for Mistress Nicole, Ethan really did want for you to be happy. Seeing how hard it was for you to be with a man in the beginning, he thought you might have an easier time with her. I think he agonized over it for a while before finally calling her. He was so afraid that you would agree and leave him.” Sitting up, she said, “I need to finish a paper that’s due tomorrow. I know you have some things that you need to think about. Please know that I’m here if you want to talk things through. I will support you no matter which way you decide to go.” Just as she picked up her sweatshirt from my desk chair and threw it on, something occurred to me. “Lexi, how did you know about Kimberly today?” I asked, curious. Was she already in the house? Did she hear our fight? “Ethan called,” she replied, ruffling my hair before heading out my door.

90

I sat up and grabbed the envelopes that Lexi had set on my bedside table. One was from University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC), the other from New York University (NYU). Opening them, I started to read, knowing I had a lot of decisions to make this week that might end up affecting the rest of my life. Given the gravity of these decisions, I owed it to myself to consider all of my options.

91

Chapter 5 It had been two weeks since Kim had stormed out of the front door. And even now, I could still hear the echoes of the heavy wood slamming when I fall asleep at night. I have not been back into ‘the room’, nor have I had direct contact with either my sister or Ethan since that day. It seemed that they all understood that I had a decision to make. That night, Ethan had come into my room after Lexi left to find me looking over my acceptance letters. He apologized for antagonizing the situation with Kimberly, saying that he must have misread me, and explained that some subs are excited by and derive pleasure from humiliation, and if he had known the pain it would ultimately cause, he would have stopped at once. I didn’t look up, not wanting him to see the conflict raging in my eyes. I had wanted him to stop, right? The awkward conversation with Josh that night was infinitely worse. He had called, making a joke about interrupting me, just to make sure I was still going to stand with him in their wedding, exactly two weeks before graduation. While I still resented Kimberly for her implied accusation, I wouldn’t miss her wedding. Thankfully, they had not made me 92

best man, so I didn’t really have anything to do except show up. Josh had tried to tell me how sorry Kim was, but it was halfhearted at best. It was fairly evident, at least to me, that she was disgusted with me, and I wondered with a heavy heart how many of our friends and family she had already told. Had she said anything to our parents? I had been pondering for a while how awkward the wedding might be. I sighed and changed into a pair of sleep pants, it was starting to get warmer out now so I didn’t bother with a shirt. As I lay back on my pillows, my mind was raced, I had already mulled over all of the pros and cons of each of my choices, now, it was just going to come down to deciding which was the best for me. Unconsciously, I had eliminated UIC as an option, and really just narrowed the choices down to staying with Ethan or going with Lexi, assuming she would still be my friend in New York. Did she want me to come with her? She’d never given me any indication that she thought of me as anything other than a messed up friend. I kept leaning on her for emotional support, and never really gave anything back to the friendship. Why would she want me to go with her? To say nothing of the feelings she had for Ethan – feelings she could probably never have for me. Then, I thought about Ethan, and wondered if he regretted taking me on as a sub now. I’d seen him, and Lexi, going down the hall into the room for sessions. Part of me wanted to ask them if I could join them, but I never did. Ethan had not approached me about fulfilling my duties towards him. Either he was giving me space, or had decided that he just didn’t need the drama. That’s me, the little drama queen. As I started to drift off, my mind wandered back to that night. My mind focused on how it felt to be completely dominated by him, his anger, and his tone. My dreams were wild and vivid. We walked into the room together, and Ethan began to remove his clothing right along with me. He eyed me speculatively, but said nothing as I pulled my shirt over my head. I was still taking off my jeans when Ethan finished 93

and assumed a submissive position on the floor in front of me. I gaped at him, but his eyes were downcast. Somehow I realized that I was dreaming, and in this dream, Ethan was the sub and I was his Master. When I looked down at his naked body just waiting for me, I was instantly hard. I walked to the closet and pulled from it the same posture restraint he had used on me. When I reached him, I pulled his hands away from his neck and affixed the collar. “Back straight,” I barked at him, and then grabbed his wrists roughly and fastened him into the cuffs. He looked vulnerable and boyish with his hair falling just into his wide, expressive eyes. His soft lips were slightly parted as he took deep breaths to steady himself. God, I wanted to feel them around my cock. That reminded me of our reversal in position. “Did you enjoy humiliating me the last time we were here?” I asked him ruthlessly as I walked to the wall to select the implement for his chastisement. With a small smile to myself, I selected the horsehair flogger. His eyes widened as he saw what I carried, but to his credit he did not move or speak. As an experienced Dom, he knew that leather floggers will give you a good thud, rubber floggers will give you a good sting, but horsehair floggers will give you a wicked sting. I wanted him to remember this. “Answer me!” I said loudly, slashing the flogger across the top of his back in a light quick movement. I was very careful not to let the ends wrap around his shoulder. An inexperienced flogger will allow the ends of the flogger to wrap around curved flesh which can be extremely painful. I was not looking to damage him, just instruct him - sternly. He had the perfect skin for this type of punishment; it would bear the marks of my displeasure well. “Yes, Master Jayden,” he moaned out as the light red lines appeared on his skin. “You’re not supposed to be enjoying your punishment, Ethan,” I said, looking down with a frown. “Look how hard your cock is getting.” I laid another swipe of the flogger 94

over the other side of the metal bar going up his back. As more lines appeared, he hissed, but I continued to whip his legs, his buttocks, even his chest. He was panting, with silent tears streaming down his face when I was finished. To an inexperienced eye, he would appear to be in agony. However, his raging erection and perfectly hard nipples told me quite a different story. “You deserved that punishment didn’t you Ethan?” I asked him, dropping the flogger onto a nearby table. My arm was tired now from the exertion of placing my very carefully aimed strikes. A lot of energy is expended by the restraint necessary not to inflict real damage. “Yes, Master Jayden. Thank you,” he choked out. His tears were beautiful, almost as lovely as the crossing lines over his soft ivory skin. I walked behind him and picked up the black leather ottoman. As I placed it in front of him, he moved to lie across it. “Did I tell you to move?” I asked sternly, and he immediately straightened. “Do you want another round with the flogger, Ethan?” “If it pleases you, Master Jayden,” he acquiesced, his voice trembling. God, his defenselessness, the sheer degradation that he was suffering at my hands, I fucking wanted him, and his mouth just wasn’t going to be enough. “Mistress Nicole said that you weren’t fond of male companionship. Does that mean you don’t want me to fuck you, Ethan?” I asked, picking up the lubricant from a side table where it was always kept. “Answer me honestly.” “No, Master Jayden,” he said, and dropped his head. It shamed him to know that for this one thing, he did not particularly want to please me. I knew from experience that he would have me over this thing in a heartbeat given the chance. And then I remembered my experience on this very ottoman, and was struck by an idea.

95

“I will consider that in future, but for right now I want to fuck your ass, and hard.” I said, drizzling the lubricant lightly near the edge of the ottoman. Then I pushed him over it, letting his hard cock settled right into the slick liquid, and he unconsciously rubbed his erection back and forth against the leather. I didn’t bother to say anything about it as I prepared him. For a few minutes, he stroked himself on the leather as I drilled him with my fingers. Then, he was ready. I pulled him open to me and drove my cock in hard. He grunted loudly as I filled him, and I stopped for just a moment to let him adjust before starting a hard rhythm. I wanted him to know what it felt like to be taken with no regard to wish or need. I wanted him to know that I was in charge of his ass right now. Grabbing his hips, I took him harder, he was so tight around my swollen cock, and he felt so fucking good. I could hear him moaning and whimpering unrestrained against the onslaught of my impalement as he moved his hips, rubbing his erection against the soft leather. As his sounds grew more animalistic, I knew he was on the verge, so I leaned down and told him how good it felt, how I was going to come soon. I asked him if he wanted to come, and he begged me to let him, his voice soft and pleading as he whimpered, desperate for release. Granting my permission, he stiffened, and cried out in unrestrained pleasure, thanking me over and over as his orgasm raged through him. Finally, he was spent, and he lay docile over the ottoman, waiting for me to finish. I could feel my orgasm coming, I was going to fill his tight ass with my come. I was so fucking close. The beep of my phone woke me up, telling me that I had a text message. I didn’t fucking care. I was so hard, it was actually painful. Lifting my hips, I slid my sleep pants down just enough to free my raging erection, and took it into my hand. Stroking myself hard, I thought about the sounds that Ethan had made in my dream, about his face while he was on his knees in front of me, how badly I wanted to fuck his mouth, 96

about how the welts looked on his tender skin. He had gotten so hard as I whipped him. I could almost feel myself in his ass as I squeezed and stroked my every inch of my cock, my back arched sharply as I came in a hard wild orgasm over my hand and torso. It seemed to go on forever, because I was overly sensitive from not having our sessions, and I gasped for breath as it finally started to subside. Finally, I got up and headed for the shower. I checked my phone as I waited for the water to warm up. The text message was from Lexi. Everything ok? So, I sent her back a text message to tell her everything was fine. I had come to realize over the last two weeks that I had lost my way. Ethan’s ultimatum, and ultimately his dominance, had served to disrupt me from my comfortable existence. He had always made me feel off balance, both emotionally and psychologically, and I was done feeling that way. While he may have controlled my sexual activities, he did not control the rest of my life. Lexi deserved a better friend than an emotional train wreck, which is what I felt like the last few weeks. I removed my leather cuff. As I stepped under the jet, I knew I had my decision. I washed the remnants of my orgasm from me, and relished the feel of the hot water on my skin. It felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, with no longer a burden to bear. When I finished my shower, I emerged a different man, one that was in charge of his destiny. I picked up my phone and sent Ethan a text message for him to meet me tomorrow morning at nine am. *

*

*

By five minutes to nine, I was ready. I wondered what he would open the door expecting - clothed or naked, kneeling or standing - certainly not this, I'm sure. I was completely and utterly defenseless - at his mercy, exactly where I wanted to be. 97

Finally, I heard the door opening and closing - and then a sharp intake of breath. Light footsteps made their way over to me, and then I felt a hand stroking my hair. "My...my...What do we have here?" Master Ethan murmured low against the skin of my shoulder as he kissed it lightly. I shivered, but remained still, even as I heard paper, and guessed that he had picked up my note from the side table next to me. Master Ethan Last night, I pleasured myself thoroughly in my bed. I had awoken from a dream in which I had bound you, flogged you, and fucked you hard. I place myself in this room, into your mercy, and bend myself to your will. Your devoted servant, Jayden “Well… you have been naughty haven’t you, boy? You came without permission, and you seem to have some ambiguity regarding your station. Let me clear that up, right now,” he said, and I felt him slap my ass hard and then leave his hand on my stinging flesh. “This is mine.” Then his hand slid down between my legs and he grasped my straining erection. “This is mine.” I moaned softly into the gag as he stroked me. “Your pain, your pleasure, everything is at my discretion. Do you understand that?” he asked sharply and I nodded. “Without that I am nothing,” he whispered, stroking my hair. The contrast between his harshness and tenderness left me unbalanced. But while I felt out of step, I also felt like I was home. Deep inside me, I knew that was what I wanted, and where I wanted to be. That was why I chose to make myself 98

defenseless to him, to show him my unconditional trust. I had attached a spreader bar, the long one, to my outstretched ankles, making the insides of my thighs burn with the effort of standing with such an incredibly wide stance. Bent at the waist, my arms pulled back and up, cuffed with short chain that had been thrown over the lowered hook on the pulley. My arms were straining with the effort of being held so far back, and it pushed me to bend farther at the waist. I had put in my gag, and even covered my eyes with a blindfold. I was ready, and willing, and waiting for him when he came into the room – and he knew it. “You define my identity. Am I a Dom if I have no sub? I don’t believe that I am, for there is no one to dominate. You are my dream, my goal, and my purpose. To mold you, and shape you is what I strive for. Without you, I have no control,” he finished in a whisper while stroking my hair. He was trying to tell me how much I meant to him, in the only way that he could. The longing in his voice was almost tangible, and for the first time, I saw into Ethan’s soul, how giving up that control seemed to frighten him. I found myself wanting to touch him now, to reassure him. Unfortunately I wasn’t in a position to do that. “I never wanted a male sub,” he confessed, still stroking my hair. I imagined that it was easier for him to talk to me like this when he couldn’t see my eyes. Even though I couldn’t see him, I imagined that beautiful crooked smile of his. “I never had any interest in the men that Nicole brought around to play with. Then, I heard your voice on the phone, and when I saw you walking up to my house…there was something indefinable about you, something that drew me to you.” His lips were at my neck now, grazing it lightly and I shivered. “There is something about you that makes me so fucking hard.” I moaned softly behind the gag. “Shall we get on to your punishment?” I nodded and tried to reply, but the gag muffled the words. Then he was gone from my side, and didn’t return for several minutes, my senses tingled as I waited for him, not knowing if he was just standing off to the side watching me, or 99

if he was preparing something. While I waited, I felt a warm breeze float across my naked flesh, and the strain in my arms and legs as I worked to maintain my position. The leather cuffs had begun to dig into my wrists. Finally, I heard a noise behind me, but did not set me at ease. It sounded like scratching, and then a low dull burst of air. For some reason, these sounds brought back mental images of high school chemistry and Bunsen burners. Bunsen burners. Oh my God. I closed my eyes tightly, willing myself to calm down. What the fucking hell was he doing? I hadn’t signed on to be tortured. What the hell was I going to do now? I couldn’t use my safe word, I couldn’t yell or scream or plead with him. I couldn’t do anything except stand here and take whatever he was going to do to me. “Jayden, do you feel what I’m putting into your hand?” he asked, and I felt something cylindrical and metal being placed into my opened palm. I nodded, unable to think of anything else to do. “This is a panic button. If you want me to stop, just press this button and it will emit a loud noise. You will use this in place of your safe word since you are gagged. Do you understand?” I nodded again, and felt him place my thumb on a button, which I almost pressed it right then, I was so terrified. But I knew Ethan, I trusted him, he wouldn’t give me more than I could handle. “Are you ready?” I knew whatever it was – it was going to be bad. He had never asked me if I was ready before. I didn’t know if he was doing this to build up the anticipation and the fear, or if I really needed to brace myself. So, I braced myself. Something hot – something very hot was dropped onto my naked buttocks, and I screamed into the gag. It must have been liquid, because I felt it running down over my skin for just a second before it dried. The cool air wafting across the burning area felt good, and the pain dulled. When he repeated the process on the other side, I was more prepared for it. Somewhere in the sensation induced haze, it occurred to me 100

that he was dripping hot wax on me. It also occurred to me that I was entirely aroused by it. After repeating the action a few more times on each side, he moved down to the tops of my thighs, just below my buttocks, where I had always been sensitive. When the wax dripped onto my skin, I could have hit the ceiling. He was very careful with his targeting, and I felt the wax flow just between my spread thighs, but not too far. And then, it was over. He set down something on a nearby table, and returned to me, beginning a treatment on me that would have brought me to my knees if I weren’t so tightly bound. First, I felt ice being placed on top of the wax. It felt good against my burning skin. Then, he peeled off the wax and placed ice cold feather light kisses where it had been. The thought of Master Ethan on his knees behind me, running an ice cube over my enflamed buttocks with his mouth, and then kissing my skin sent me into a near frenzy. I moaned into the gag, and pushed my hips back as much as I could in my position. Then, as I brought up the states in my head, he started on my thighs. It was all I could do to keep a hold of myself, and had I not have been gagged; I would have begged him to let me come. Then he was gone again, and I felt his presence in front of me. He removed my blindfold, and I saw that he was smiling. Kneeling, he kissed my forehead, my cheeks, and my chin. I had a feeling he would have kissed my lips if they had been free. “You please me so entirely,” he said, and my heart swelled. “You bore that very well, Jayden. You deserve a reward.” Standing, he unbuttoned the panel in his pants, his erection springing from, swollen and hard. Unconsciously, I licked my lips. “Is this what you desire?” I nodded quickly, and was surprised to find that this was true…I wanted him. Every fiber of my being wanted him inside me. “Then you shall have it, but we need to move you. If I take you in this position, we could dislocate your shoulders.” he said with a wry smile, as he untied me, rubbing my shoulders, my arms, and my legs. Looking around, I noticed a portable propane blow torch and 101

several large taper candles. I shuddered, and then he was pulling me over to the thick mats in the back of the room. Positioning me on my hands and forearms with my naked buttocks in the air, my legs spread wide, I felt so exposed, so wanton. It took a few minutes for him to join me on the mat. When I turned my head slightly and caught sight of him I gasped. He was completely nude, and utterly beautiful. Incredibly, I got harder as I felt him preparing me with his fingers. While he spread the lubricant inside me, I held still. Then, I felt the head of his beautiful hard cock against my anus, and I moaned. “Is this what you want, Jayden?” he murmured, as he pushed marginally into me. For the first time ever, I pushed my hips back into him, arching my back. Master stopped in surprise, and I felt his fingers clench on my hips. “Please….” I begged and tried moving my hips again. “Please what, Jayden?” he asked, but I was beyond the capability for rational thought. “Please Sir….” I cried, my erection painful now. “Tell me what you want, Jayden,” he requested, his voice low and strained while he held my hips still so that I couldn’t move back against him, I could just feel him inside me and it was making me insane. “Please, Master Ethan….” I moaned again as I pressed my forehead to the cool mat. “Please fuck me.” Without another word, he entered me slowly and fully, setting a slow and steady pace, moaning softly at each full stroke. God, it felt so good. “You want it, don’t you? You little slut, you want my cock in your ass,” he commented in a completely primal voice. My hips began to move, and I drove him deeper into me. “Yeah, fuck my ass….” I moaned, and I realized that I meant it. I wanted him, I craved him. Since I walked into the room, everything I did was working towards this. He slapped 102

my ass hard, and I added a quick “Sir”, though I had already been reduced to soft whimpering cries as his thrusts sped. “Play with yourself, you little whore. I want to hear you come for me,” he panted, and I realized he was close. Resting my weight on one forearm, my other hand went to my throbbing cock. Grasping myself firmly in my fist, I stroked myself in time with his thrusts, my moans getting louder and more incoherent as my orgasm approached. Not bothering to attempt to delay it; I knew that it would be a wasted effort. I needed it, as surely as I needed air to breathe. As my whimpers turned into desperate cries, I felt his hand in the back of my hair, jerking sharply, turning my head so he could watch my face. The slight pain from his hair pulling caused my cock to jump in my hand as I screamed my release, jet after jet of my come sprayed onto the mat beneath me, and I just kept moving my hips, thrusting into my hand. After what seemed like an eternity, it finally stopped, and I held myself up on shaky arms as he continued thrusting into my ass. Abruptly, he drove into me hard enough to push me onto the mat, my ass pushed slightly into the air, and he cried out, coming deep inside me. I felt him panting on the back of my neck as he whimpered and cried out his overwhelming need as he filled me, and I welcomed it. And then, he was still, his forehead resting on my back just below my shoulder blades. I felt the softest of kisses breathed up my spine before he moaned, “Fuck Jayden,” softly into my neck, and then collapsed next to me on the mat. I continued to lie on my stomach and looked over at him, his eyes were closed, and I took the opportunity to look over his naked sculpted body. Never in my life had ever been attracted to men before, but there was just something about him. Suddenly, he opened his eyes and grinned, and then he was on top of me, pinning me to the mat. Shocked, I looked up at him hovering over me. He tilted his head to the side, like he was thinking of something and then leaned down and pressed his 103

lips to mine. Without hesitation, he kissed me deeply, stroking my face and I responded in kind. Our mouths moved in a synchronous rhythm, and I felt it everywhere, his tongue sliding into my mouth as he deepened the kiss, and I had no idea where this was coming from, but it felt right. I could feel every inch of his naked body pressed against mine, and I moaned softly into the kiss. He pulled back slightly, and looking into my face said, “I’m glad you stayed, Jayden.” I nodded, and he kissed my forehead before rolling off of me and standing up. As he cleaned up from our session, he said, “We’ll be having a session with Lexi tomorrow. Be in this room by 6:00 in the evening. You will get the second half of your punishment. You may go.” *

*

*

“So, I heard you decided to stay?” A soft voice asked from the doorway and I looked up from my textbook. Lexi was standing there in faded jeans and a light blue tank top. She looked soft and feminine with her hair pulled back into a loose pony tail. I smiled back at her. “Yeah, someone has to keep Ethan in line.” I said, and she laughed but then her face fell a little. “You wanted me to come to New York?” I asked trying to gauge the look on her face. This surprised me. It’s not that I thought that Lexi didn’t want to be my friend; I’m just taken aback that my staying would disappoint her. She continued to look at my carpeting, so I got up and walked over to her. I put my fingers under her chin and pulled it up to look at me. Our eyes met, and I saw something spark there for just a moment and then it was gone. “No, actually, as much as I wanted a friend in New York with me – I think it’s better for you that you stay. You’re so new to our lifestyle, and Ethan is one of the best trainer Doms in the area.” She said softly, and smiled with something that looked like pride. She was proud of her Dom. “Did you notice 104

the differences between Nicole and Ethan; or the differences between Stephen and Ethan? There are a lot of Doms that require that their subs already be trained when they collar them. They don’t want to go through the time and effort of training them; they just want a ready-made toy. Ethan takes on people new to the lifestyle and trains them, acclimates them, and then lets them move on. He is patient and affectionate. He makes you want to please him.” “I’m not ready to give this up yet, and I came to this school as an undergrad so I could associate myself with the professors. It gave me a better chance of getting into grad school here,” I remarked. Of course, that wasn’t my only reason to stay, but it was a consideration. “I did notice a difference between the other Doms and Ethan – and I trust Ethan. I want to stay with him until I feel more secure in my role. But you think it’s better for me to stay with Ethan because of my training?” I asked. “It’s not just because you don’t want me around?” I teased, and her breathing hitched just once before I saw the tears start to leak from the corners of her eyes. “Lexi, honey… I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.” I enveloped her in my arms, and held her while her tears consumed her. “I’m going to … m… miss you guys… s… so much.” She said between deep shuddering breaths while I stroked her hair. I hadn’t realized how hard this separation was going to be on her. She was alone in the world, and the two people that cared most about her were going to be on the other side of the country. That had to be hard to accept. I couldn’t imagine what it was like for her, having no family, she had no siblings, and I knew from our conversations that her parents had died. Lexi was less shy now that her confidence had been built by years of submission, but making friends was still hard for her. I wondered if she’d keep in touch with anyone from here except Ethan and me. “You’ll be fine, darlin’, and we’ll be right here whenever you need us. Okay? I’ve already set up the stuff on my computer; we can talk whenever you want. You know – you 105

don’t even have to go if you don’t want to. You could stay here with us, honey.” I said softly, and pressed my lips to her forehead. She nodded against my lips and then dropped her head to my shoulder. I held her for a long time, just letting her cry herself out. “I’m hungry.” She said suddenly, and I had to laugh. “And on a completely different subject….” I said and she laughed too. “Come on, sweetheart, I’ll buy you dinner. Being Ethan’s whore pays pretty well.” She stopped laughing and sighed. “Have you heard from her?’ She asked softly, and pulled out of my grasp so she could see my face. “No.” I said, and took her hand. “Where do you want to eat?” “You need to work things out with her, Jayden. She’s your sister, and you never know what could happen.” She looked away. “Lexi, honey, can I ask you what happened? With your parents, I mean…” I said, taking her back into my arms and letting her rest her head on my chest, cradling her face in my hand as she spoke. “They were coming back from their anniversary dinner. Daddy lost control of the car on some black ice and they went over an embankment. They were killed on impact when their car landed upside down at the bottom. I was twelve. Our next door neighbor had a son my age, and they took me in until I graduated and left for college. I met Ethan a few years later.” She shrugged, but her nonchalance was betrayed by the look of pain that swept over her face, I squeezed her, and placed another tender kiss on her forehead. “We need to go if we’re going to get back here by six for Ethan,” I said glancing at my watch. “I still have another round of punishment tonight and I certainly don’t want to upset him by being late.” 106

We were both naked and in position when the appointed time came. Kneeling proudly on the hardwood floor with my back straight, head high, though I was looking at the floor, I didn’t want to give him any reason to be displeased with me tonight. We held our poses, not looking at each other for what seemed like another ten minutes before Master Ethan finally entered the room. As he usually did, he walked over and turned on the classical music. “Lexi, did Jayden tell you about the dream he had a few nights ago?” Ethan asked in a silky voice, and Lexi shook her head. “No? It was very interesting. Jayden bound and gagged me, whipped me, and fucked me. Does that sound like something I would let him do, Lexi?” She shook her head again, and I wondered why he was asking her, and where this was leading. I started to get an uneasy feeling. “Well, obviously this is something that the boy thinks about. Did he also not tell you that he satisfied his own urges afterwards?” Master Ethan asked her with a smirk. Lexi shook her head, trembling now. “Well, I think we should help him out, don’t you?” “Yes, Master Ethan,” Lexi replied as he ran his hands over her naked breasts absently. “Jayden, how did you position me in your dream? Where was I?” he asked, looking up at me when I didn’t answer. His look told me that I had no choice but to answer, it would be worse for me if I didn’t. “In the posture restraint,” I said, blushing, and then he quirked one eyebrow, and I looked away. He knew that in my dream I had put him there to punish him for my humiliation. I just wanted him to whip me, as he was apparently going to do, so that we could put it behind us. “Go get it from the closet,” he said while walking to the back wall. After I had pulled the restraint from the closet, he returned with a flogger and what I assumed was a different kind of gag. Rather than a ball, it had a large circle in the center. 107

I braced myself, feeling a little apprehensive until he grasped Lexi by the arm and lifted her, spinning her to face me. Her eyes were wide, and I watched slightly horrified as he began to buckle her into the restraint. This was supposed to be my punishment, not hers. Not hers! I almost said my safe word then, but I knew it would not help her and it would only enrage him, so I kept quiet and looked at the floor, ashamed that my behavior was going to warrant Master Ethan punishing Lexi. “Like this, Jayden?” he inquired, and I looked up. Lexi’s eyes were closed and her head was held high by the collar. The gag in her mouth held it open, and she was breathing deeply, her breasts were pushed forward by the metal bar, and cuffs I saw when he turned her. A small cylindrical metal object was held tightly in her hand, her thumb on the panic button. I nodded silently, unable to speak. “Were my legs bound?” he asked harshly, and I shook my head. “Lexi, you are going to want to take a wider stance and brace yourself.” Then, he looked down at me. “Come here, Jayden.” Apprehensively, I rose next to him as he moved around behind Lexi, facing her towards the full length mirror on the wall. “Watch,” he instructed quietly, and then swung the flogger. As I watched, the leather strips wrapped around her ribs and the very tips struck her exposed breasts. The sound that was ripped from her, unhindered by the open gag, tore through me. Next, he put several long red lines across her naked buttocks. Thankfully, at least to me, this time she didn’t cry out. She only jerked, making me think that maybe the first one caught her off guard. Finally, he walked around in front of her, motioning me to follow, where I saw the tears streaming down her beautiful face, and my heart broke. He pulled the flogger back, and sent one softer blow to her naked breasts. Her head fell back and she cried out. “Now, it’s your turn,” Master Ethan said, but instead of forcing me to my knees with my ass in the air to receive the 108

blows, he handed me the flogger. He wanted me to whip Lexi. I looked at him with a horrified expression, but he stood firm. “If you don’t, or if you hold back, it will be ten for each of you with the horsehair. I’m guessing that’s what you used on me, right?” he smirked. “Now, Lexi, I know I was gagged in the dream, but I’m going to remove yours. After each blow he inflicts upon you, I want you to thank him for it. Do you understand?” he asked, stroking her cheek and she nodded. Unbuckling the gag, he tossed it to the side giving her a kiss on each cheek. Then, he backed up to watch. “Start with her breasts, Jayden. Don’t use too much force, they are very tender.” He instructed, and I moved forward. I wanted to tell Lexi how sorry I was, but I couldn’t with him so close, so I swallowed back the lump in my throat and blinked away the tears that were starting to form as I flicked the flogger. It connected with her breasts lightly and Lexi moaned her thanks. “Same spot again, only a little harder,” he said as he evaluated my performance. Again, I flicked the flogger with a little more force, and eyes closed tightly as she cried out her thanks. “One more time, with a little more force,” he said, and I flicked the flogger again as he had instructed. Lexi screamed, and I saw angry red lines begin to appear on her breasts. Three things seemed to happen at once, I dropped the flogger, my desperately hard erection throbbed, and Lexi spoke. “Thank you, Jayden.” Lexi said in a tense voice. “Pick it up,” Master Ethan said calmly, and I complied quickly. “Now, Jayden,” he said, and his eyes were glowing darkly. “Let us move Lexi to a better position for you to whip her sweet little ass.” Pausing, he considered the options. Maybe over the ottoman?” he asked with a sly smile, and I flushed, instantly giving me away. Taking the flogger from me, he went 109

back to the back wall, calling over his shoulder, “Put her over the ottoman.” I moved quickly to do as he instructed. “I’m so sorry, Lexi,” I whispered to her as I helped her down. She said nothing, but bent over the leather as gracefully as she could in the posture restraint, and spread her legs. Master Ethan came back a few minutes later with what looked like a leather covered ruler with a handle. “I want you to make five parallel lines across her ass with this,” he said, and as he pulled his arm back, I heard the thing whistle through the air as he swung it, landing it with a slap onto her naked flesh. Loudly, she grunted, and jerked against the leather, but didn’t scream. “I want you to make them right below mine.” My hand shook as I took the strap from his hand. I didn’t know how I was going to do this. From the angry line it made across her skin, I knew it was going to hurt her, and I didn’t want to hurt her. My cock throbbed painfully again at the thought. In my mind, I could see each line appearing on her skin, and I realized I fucking wanted to see it. I pulled back my arm and let the first one fly. It landed just as it should beneath his first mark. It wasn’t as dark or straight as his, but I had accomplished my goal. Lexi moaned under the pain, thanking me again, and spread her legs farther apart. I looked at Ethan surprised, and he nodded. “Go ahead and check,” he said, nodding, and I went down to one knee, sliding my fingers between her spread legs and sure enough, she was very excited. When she rocked against my hand, I pulled it away, and she whimpered as I stood up and pulled my arm back for another blow. It landed just below the last, and she gave a deep open mouthed moan as she thanked me. The next three landed evenly spaced below the others, and on the last blow her thank you came as nearly a cry, she was so turned on, and it made me so hard to know that I made that happen. “Do you want her, Jayden?” Master Ethan asked, amused, as if he could read my mind. I nodded, and he handed me a 110

bottle of lube. “Then you will take her as you wanted to take me.” Looking down at Lexi, she lifted her ass higher in the air, as if asking for me to take her, and I was beyond all reason. Every part of me tingled with the thought of burying myself inside her, so I put the gel on my fingers and prepared her ass for my cock. Using my hands to spread her buttocks apart, I slowly slid into her, hearing her groan as I buried myself. God, she was so fucking tight, I wasn’t going to last long. As I start my rhythm, I feel Master Ethan coming up behind me. His voice is low and hot in my ear. “Put your hands on the ottoman, not on her.” Grabbing the sides of the ottoman, I did as he instructed, pulling it back as I pushed into her, and she whimpered and moaned loudly in time with my thrusts. They were animalistic sounds that just drove me more into a frenzy. “It could be me over that ottoman couldn’t it, Jayden?” I groaned as I thought about it. “It could as easily be my tight ass around your cock.” Then he moaned, and I nearly lost it. “Oh, God….” I groaned, and my pace quickened which I knew almost instantly was a mistake. “Don’t you fucking come until I give you permission Jayden,” he said sharply. Desperately, I tried to focus my mind, finally deciding on the baseball teams, and I ran them through my head. Just as I finished with the American league, I felt it building again. “Please….” I pleaded, imploring him. “Please, Master may I come?” “No,” he said harshly, so I resorted to the National league. “You would have held out if you were fucking me, wouldn’t you? You would have made it last as long as possible.” Then I felt his fingers inside me, preparing me for him, I whimpered uninhibited. I couldn’t come yet. I couldn’t. And then I felt him enter me, and I couldn’t help it anymore. I wailed incoherently, begging. “GOD PLEASE…PLEASE MASTER … I HAVE TO… I CAN’T … PLEASE…” My pleas, my desperate cries were just background 111

to the incessant pounding of my blood in my ears... to the slapping of my hips against her soft buttocks. I just knew I wasn’t going to make it, not with him inside me. My fingers itched to be in his hair, and I wanted to turn and kiss him as he drove into me. That surprised me; I would have thought I’d want to be more affectionate with Lexi. Then he drove into me hard, and growled in my ear “Come hard for me. Now.” It was everything I could do not to sob in relief. Matching the rhythm of his thrusts, I drove into Lexi and screamed a strangled cry into her back as I filled her. I pressed my forehead between her shoulder blades, feeling the light accumulation of sweat there from her exertion. My knees ached from being in this position, but it was so fucking good. As I stopped moving, Master Ethan thrust harder, his fingers digging into my hips. “Who is the Master, Jayden?” he asked harshly, reaching up to grasp my hair in his fingers, he pulled my head back so I was looking straight up. “You are, Master Ethan,” I cried. “You are my Master, everything is yours.” I grunted as he drove faster into me, his moans becoming deeper... harsher. He released my hair and reached beneath me, grasping my flaccid sex in his hand. Then with one guttural moan, he filled me as I started to harden in his hand. I felt his damp face press into my back and kiss it lightly before he released me and stood up. I stayed where I was, still pressed into Lexi on the ottoman. “In your position, Jayden,” he said in a breathlessly, and I moved quickly to obey, watching as he rubbed some kind of lotion over Lexi’s reddened skin, talking to her soothingly. As he stroked her face and hair, and I caught a few words. Master told her how proud he was of her, that she was such a good girl, deserved a reward, asking her what she would like. I heard her whisper something to him, but I couldn’t make it out. He removed her restraints and laid her on her back on the ottoman with her legs spread to either side. 112

“Lexi has been a good girl, Jayden, don’t you think?” Master Ethan asked, smiling at me. “Yes, Master Ethan.” I said, nodding. She had taken the punishment so well, and I hadn’t noticed until now that she hadn’t released while I took her, she had amazing restraint. “Please her with that wicked tongue of yours,” he, smirked at me, and I moved quickly – only too happy to obey. I massaged her thighs with my fingers, pressing my face between her open legs, and she moaned as my lips touched her skin. Her breath caught as I used my fingers to spread her wide to me, crying out as my tongue found her sensitive spots. I worked hard to try and bring her to orgasm, as it filled my chest with a warm feeling to please her. I heard the buzzing before I saw the vibrator just beneath my jaw where Master Ethan was slowly sliding it in and out of Lexi as I teased her with my tongue. Writhing against the leather, she bucked her hips into his hand, silently begging him to fuck her harder with the toy. I held her hips down, and moved my tongue in time with his strokes. I heard his velvet voice from next to Lexi. “Come for me, angel.” He thrust the toy into her again, and I redoubled my efforts, and was soon rewarded as her back arched nearly sending her off the small ottoman. The orgasm absolutely overpowered her, and I held her there as she screamed and thrashed, continuing to tease her until I felt Master Ethan’s hand on my shoulder, and he pulled the toy from her. Unmoving, she lay limp across the ottoman, Master Ethan chuckled and kissed her forehead, then he looked at me with a wicked smirk. “Let me know if you have any more dreams about me, won’t you Jayden?”

113

Chapter 6 “Fuck…yeah…Just like that….” Master Ethan said in a low husky voice. I felt his long fingers flexing in my hair as I continued to service him. “Suck me harder…” As I did what I was told, he moaned and began to move his hips gently, forcing himself in and out of my throat, and he could go so much deeper in this position. “Ready Lexi?” he asked, and I wished I could see her. The blindfold over my eyes was making me edgy. I lay vertically across the padded table so that my head was hanging off of one edge, and my buttocks were on the other edge with my arms and legs in the air, my left ankle cuffed to my right wrist and vice versa. The long chains were looped through a hook in the ceiling so that I couldn’t move. I was theirs. “Yes, Master Ethan,” she replied quietly. “Go slowly, that’s a bit larger than I am,” he warned, and then he chuckled as I tensed. “Shhhh…You need to relax.” He stroked my face as I whimpered around his erection, still in my mouth as my head hung backwards off the table. “She’s not going to hurt you. She just wants to help me fill you 114

completely. You like having both your holes plugged don’t you, my little fuck toy?” After she had applied copious amounts of lubricant with her fingers, I felt the tip of whatever Lexi was using press against me. Breathing slowly through my nose, I thought about what she was going to do, with each image, my breathing came faster and shallower. Master Ethan pulled back gently until just the tip of his cock was in my mouth, I licked it gratefully. As she entered me very slowly, I felt him stroking my face. “That’s it…” he murmured as she continued to push forward gradually. Whatever she was using was thicker than Ethan and it stretched me uncomfortably. I grunted around Ethan’s pulsing cock in my mouth. “Go ahead,” I heard Master Ethan say, and Lexi pulled back marginally. I expected her to start thrusting into me, but then I felt the thing start to vibrate. Low deep moans escaped me and Master Ethan groaned at the sensation. “Does that feel good boy? Do you like having that nice big toy buzzing in your ass like that?” “Yeah, fuck him…Just go slow.” Master Ethan told Lexi, and then leaned forward slightly. I had the mental image of him putting his palms on the table and spreading his legs a little wider, bracing himself. Then, he began to fuck my mouth in earnest while Lexi pushed into me. I was bound and helpless, being taken hard and deep across this perfectly positioned table, the button in my hand almost forgotten. God, this was so fucking hot. “That’s right; let Lexi hear how much you like it when she fucks you.” I was desperate to show my appreciation, to please him. The pitch of my muffled cries changed slightly with each of her increasingly hard thrusts. “It’s so hot to watch, her little hips moving, slapping against you. I love the site of that big fake cock sliding in and out of you.” His thrusts into my mouth came faster now. “God, I love fucking your mouth….” He moaned. “Get ready for it.” I felt him start to twitch, and then 115

heard him cry out as he came in my throat, relaxing as best as I could, I only choked a little as I swallowed convulsively. He was panting when he finally pulled back and resting his head on my chest, he mumbled, almost to himself, “Fucking hell, Jayden.” In the next moment he had moved away from me, but I heard him from the other side of the table, encouraging Lexi. He was asking her if she liked taking me like this when I felt him start to stroke me. God, it felt so good, the combination of Lexi’s strong thrusts and his strokes on my erection. I had no more shame as I tried to move, to thrust my hips toward them but I was bound too tightly. All I could think about was how good it was going to feel when he finally let me come. “Lexi,” I heard him saying low to her, and I imagined his lips at her ear, “come for me, baby. Come hard for your Master.” As her thrusts got faster, she moaned, and I gasped as she pushed it in deeply and held herself still, crying out loudly, over and over as her orgasm engulfed her. Her voice echoed in my ears, and a deep guttural moan escaped me before I could stop it. The hands that were stroking me stopped, and I nearly sobbed in frustration. “Good girl.” They pulled the large toy out, turning it off in the process. My anus was so stretched, that it gaped and spasmed, missing the vibrating implement for several minutes before I started to calm. I whimpered softly at the empty feeling. “Jayden’s been an awfully good boy today, hasn’t he Lexi?” I heard Master Ethan ask with a chuckle. “Yes, Master Ethan.” “I think we should give him a treat,” he said, and I heard the smile in his voice. Yes, please give him a treat, please preferably one that ends in a nice long orgasm. Then, I felt someone’s mouth on my balls, which were completely exposed because of my position. Whoever it was, I had to guess it was Lexi, had taken them into their mouth and was sucking lightly. If I had not been bound, I would have come right off the table. 116

It was fucking incredible, almost as incredible as the mouth that closed around my aching cock just a moment later. They both had their mouths on me, and because I was still blindfolded, I didn’t know who was where, and frankly I didn’t give a fuck right now. Then both of them stopped, and I heard Master Ethan’s voice. “You may come when you’re ready, Jayden.” Then they both started again, and my imagination went wild, images going through my mind one after the other - Master Ethan on his knees with my balls in his mouth, sucking them. I started squirming as much as I could in my restraints. Then, I saw an image of him with his mouth around me, moving his sweet lips up and down my painfully hard erection. Everything tensed, even time seemed to stop, as my orgasm hit me hard. I felt it pulse through me, and into the waiting throat of one of them. They had pulled me so deep, I could feel them swallowing and I wanted to come again. It was absolute fucking bliss. After, I just laid there in the restraints after it was over, shaking violently. Master Ethan released my arms and legs, pulling off the blindfold, and helped me turn to lie horizontally so that my head was up on the table. My eyes were closed, and I was panting while he rubbed down my arms, helping to relieve the little bit of cramping then moved down to my legs. When he was done, he looked up at me. “Thank you, Master Ethan.” smiled.

I said genuinely, and he

“You may both go,” he said after giving us each a kiss on the forehead, and then he left the room. I groaned loudly as I rolled off the table and stood up, holding onto the table for support for a minute while I got my bearings. “Are you alright, Jayden?” Lexi asked, coming to my side. “Yes. I’m just a little light headed from my head hanging over the side of the table. And I’m….” I stopped short, and 117

then started to walk toward the front of the room where my clothes were. “You’re what, Jayden?” she asked softly, and I sighed. “I’m a little sore,” I said, embarrassed. Looking away, I threw on my jeans and was just buttoning them when I felt her tiny hand on my bare back. “Jayden, I….” she started, but I cut her off. “Thank you for agreeing to be my date at the wedding tomorrow Lexi.” I told her honestly, and trying to change the subject, feeling a little emasculated that I was sore from being fucked by a girl. “I really have no idea what Kimberly might have said and to who.” Going to the wedding with no idea what to expect was daunting. I had been both horrified and relieved when Master Ethan had ordered us to the room for that night, although it meant that I would miss the rehearsal dinner. Why the hell did we need to rehearse? We stand in front of the church, they say a couple of ‘I do’s’, and then we go drink. I didn’t want to show up the wedding alone, but taking anyone else was out of the question, I really didn’t need that kind of pressure. Going with Lexi felt like the right thing, very natural. “It’s easier than going with a normal girl,” I said and then caught sight of the look of pain that crossed her face before her calm returned. Idiot. I couldn’t believe I’d said something so stupid. How would I have felt if she’d said that to me, about dating a normal guy? My heart hurt a bit at that thought, the thought of her dating a normal guy, but I pushed it aside. She loved Ethan. “Lexi, that’s not what I meant at all,” I began, explaining my comment. “I just meant that it’s easier going with someone who knows pretty much everything about me. I don’t have to hide anything from you.” Looking up at me, her face lightened a bit. “I’ll be here in the morning; we can go together, okay?” she asked, and I nodded. I didn’t want to subject her to my family any longer than necessary, but her presence was calming. 118

Besides, Kimberly might actually like the fact that I was bringing a female date. * * * My hands were shaking by the time we pulled into the lot. I turned off the ignition, and put my forehead on the steering wheel while Lexi ran her hand down my back, and then up again to my hair. “It’s okay, Jayden. Everything will be okay.” Then she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. Even though I nodded, I had definitely started to feel sick. Opening my door, I felt the cool air brush my face and I got out, moving to Lexi’s door and opened it for her. She took my hand, entwining our fingers, and we walked up to the church. When we got to the sidewalk, Josh came outside looking a little green. Staring at us as we approached, he looked at me, and then at Lexi, and then at our hands. I could tell that he was confused and had no idea what to make of us as we stood in front of him. I gave him a hard look, warning him silently to at least close his mouth and not make Lexi feel uncomfortable. Then, I heard Lexi giggle next to us, and he snapped out of it. “Lexi, this is Josh. He is going to be marrying my sister, assuming he doesn’t stay out here getting sick in the bushes during the ceremony,” I said, effectively wiping the smirk off his face. He scowled at me, but held out his hand for Lexi to shake. “It’s nice to meet you, Josh,” Lexi said politely, and then turned to me. “I’m going just find a nice pew in the back, join me when you have free time?” Then, she did something I was not expecting. Putting her hand on the side of my face, she pulled me to her in a kiss that started simple and slow, but deepened until I was staggered and breathless. She winked at me before she turned to stroll into the church, and I watched her leave, still feeling her searing lips against mine. “Holy shit man, I thought you were gay! She is smokin’ fuckin’ hot!” Josh said, also watching Lexi walk away. It looked 119

like his eyes were trying to bore through her clothes. “Where the hell did you meet her?” My heart sank as it occurred to me that she kissed me for Josh’s benefit, trying to make things more comfortable. The last Josh had heard, I fucked guys for money. At least now I was with a woman. “Through Ethan,” I said without thinking, and his eyes widened. “You mean, she’s a …” he never finished his sentence as I punched him in the arm. “OUCH!” he exclaimed, rubbing the spot. “You’re fucking lucky I don’t want to get all messed up today, or I’d take you out back for that.” “Then shut up about Lexi, she’s a good girl,” I snarled at him, and he backed off. “Now, let’s go get ready. The sooner we do this, the sooner I can get the hell out of here.” “Jay, she’s your sister. You guys can’t go on like this. It’s really hurting her,” he said, his voice was grave, his eyes serious. “I’m not talking about this today, and I’m not talking about it with you,” I replied sternly. “You can talk to me, you know. I may have a different perspective on things than Kimberly,” he reasoned, turning back to go into the church. I stayed outside for a moment to calm down, looking across the parking lot. This was going to be one hell of a long day. Before we knew it, it was time to start. We all gathered in the entry way to pair off. I hadn’t met the girl I’d be walking with since I’d missed the rehearsal dinner. Kimberly was steadfastly ignoring me, so our cousin Brenda, her maid of honor took charge. “Jay, come here. Nikki?” she called, and the girl in front of me turned around and I almost had a heart attack. It was Nicole…Mistress Nicole. She took one look at me and blanched. Quickly, before either Brenda or Kimberly noticed, I walked forward and held out my hand. 120

“Hi, I’m Kim’s brother Jayden.” I said with a meaningful look. Her deer in the headlights look started to fade, and understanding dawned on her features. Why she would think that I’d out her here, I have no idea. But so long as she played along, no one needed to know that just a few weeks ago, she had me on my hands and knees as she fucked my ass with her strap-on cock. “I’m Josh’s cousin Nicole,” she said in a falsely bright voice. I held my arm out to her, and she took it, and as we stood behind the lead couple and my mind started to wander. My soreness was a constant reminder of our activities from the previous night. Now with Mistress Nicole on my arm, I could just feel her taking me from behind. Also, I wondered briefly if she’s brought Ryan as her date. My cock twitched, and I adjusted myself quickly. Nicole snorted quietly, and I looked down at her to see her smirk at me, and I got the feeling that she was having a similar experience. The wedding itself was relatively uneventful after the initial shock of seeing Mistress Nicole as my partner. The reception hall was very nice, and I was just waiting a respectable amount of time so that I could take Lexi and get the hell out. Playing the proper guests, Lexi and I were dancing slowly to some sixties love song, her head resting on my chest, and our eyes closed. It felt nice to be close to her, and not just physically. Then I felt her head jerk up, and my eyes opened as someone tapped me on the shoulder. “Would you mind if I danced with my brother?” Kimberly asked politely. Lexi smiled, and pulled her arms down from my neck. We had both taken off our jackets because it was warm in the hall, and I had my sleeves rolled up. Our leather cuffs were exposed, and Kim’s eyes widened. All politeness left her voice then. “Those are his aren’t they?” she asked harshly, her eyes roaming over our identical cuffs. Lexi reached down and took my hand quietly. “You brought one of his freaks to my 121

wedding?” Her voice was low and dangerous. Lexi looked away, and I led her to our table, grabbed our jackets, and we started to leave with Kimberly was right behind us. Josh soon followed. When we were outside the church, I took Lexi’s face in my hands. “Sweetheart, wait for me in the truck, please?” I asked her and kissed her. For a minute, she looked like she wanted to argue, but then she saw Kimberly stalking up behind us, so she nodded, took my keys and went to the truck. Then, I turned on my sister. “She is a sweet, kind, and loving person. I am lucky to have her in my life, which is more than I can say for you at the moment,” I growled. “I will not let you hurt her like you hurt me Kimberly. I came here today out of obligation because you are my sister. You can’t just be nice and let things alone for one God damned day, can you? And now, I’m sure I’m going to be the bad guy yet again for raining on your wedding day. Well, you know what, Kimberly? I don’t fucking care.” My breathing became harder, shallower. “It’s like a fucking knife in the heart to see you knowing what you think of me. It hurts so bad I can barely stand it, but I came – for you. Now…I wish I hadn’t.” Her eyes were wide and full of tears when I turned my back on her and walked away. I heard someone jogging to catch up and then felt a hand on my shoulder. When I turned, I half expected Josh to punch me, but it wasn’t him. “Jayden, son what is going on with you?” My father asked with nothing but concern in his eyes. Sighing, I knew I couldn’t tell him the real reason that Kim and I were fighting, but I also knew he wouldn’t let it go without some explanation. “You barely talk to us anymore, and now Kimberly says you’re in trouble? She said she doesn’t know how to help you.” I turned around and glared at Kim. For the first time in our lives she looked ashamed, and a little frightened. “Dad, I’m fine. There is nothing wrong with me. School is fine, home is fine, and I’m not in trouble,” I said, shrugging off 122

his hand and walked to my truck, not wanting to have that conversation with them. God only knows that Kimberly had been telling them. After I got into the truck where Lexi was waiting for me, I put my hands on the top of the steering wheel and laid my forehead against them, sighing when I felt Lexi’s fingers in my hair. “Lexi, I am so sorry.” “Jayden, it’s okay. She’s just upset because she doesn’t understand.” I picked my head up and started the ignition. Looking up to check the mirror, I noticed that my family was still watching me. My mother was holding hands with my father, who had his arm around Kimberly. I had never felt so alone.

123

Chapter 7 The next two weeks passed in a blur of papers, exams, and meetings with my advisor. I was starting to get things lined up to start grad school in the summer since I would be graduating tomorrow and staying for my post graduate work here in Seattle. Just as with my undergrad degree, I wanted to work through the summers so I could finish a little faster. I felt like I’ve been in school forever, and I know that Lexi was also getting things ready to leave for New York, as she would be starting in the summer semester as well. Due to my schedule, I hadn’t seen much of her since the wedding, and I hated it, I felt like I should be spending all of my free time with her, seeing her as much as I could before she left. I tried hard not to think about the time when she would be gone. Over the course of our convoluted relationship with Ethan, she had become my closest friend. Now, we would only have webcams and phone calls. I pushed that thought away as my cell phone beeped. It was a text from Ethan. Be in the room at 9AM Why in the hell would he want a session the day of graduation? Lexi and I had to be on the field at eleven for the ceremony, since she would also be walking across the stage 124

today. Throwing my phone onto the bed next to my suit, I growled in frustration. I was still trying to decide on a tie when Lexi came in. Smiling, she looked down at the four ties lying across the suit jacket. When I looked at her, I felt my whole face soften, and I smiled back. “I like the blue one with the grey suit, definitely,” she said, scooping them off the bed and holding them up to me. “First, because the blue brings out your eyes, and second because the blue and the grey is just so appropriate for a history major with a Civil War specialty.” She tried hard to keep a straight face, but then broke out into soft giggles. I raised an eyebrow at her. “Won’t the blue and the grey fight? I’d hate to have my clothing at war,” I joked with at least a good attempt at a straight face. That comment only made her laugh harder as she hung my newly chosen clothing up on the hook attached to the closet door. She put the rest of the clothes back in the closet as I hung the graduation gown on the other hook. Lying back on the bed, I looked at them hanging side by side, I would be graduating from college tomorrow, and it seemed so surreal. Lexi came over and lay down next to me, putting her head on my chest. We lay like that for a long time. Silently, she was playing with the hem of my t-shirt while I ran my fingers through her long hair. We didn’t need to say anything; both of us knew what graduation meant…she would be gone soon. That thought brought a dull ache to my chest, and I pulled her closer to me in a fierce hug. She wrapped her arm around my chest, and we held each other like that until nearly midnight. “Lexi, honey, we need to go to sleep,” I said gently, and for a moment I thought she’d fallen asleep, but she nodded. She pulled back slightly and whispered to me. “Jayden, can…can I stay here tonight with you? I don’t want to be alone.” Her voice sounded so broken, I couldn’t have refused even I wanted to, and I certainly didn’t want to. I was perfectly content to sleep with this beautiful girl in my 125

arms. If she needed my comfort, I would absolutely give it to her. “Of course you can baby. Let me get you a t-shirt to sleep in.” I said quietly to her, and then crawled off the bed after kissing her forehead. In my dresser, I found one of my high school track shirts and handed it to her. She looked at it with a strange expression, and then turned it around. Just as I started to ask her if she wanted a different shirt, she walked into the bathroom to change. I heard her crying softly for just a minute before she came back in and crawled back into bed, right into my arms and I held her until she fell asleep. I had a hard time sleeping, lying with Lexi in my arms was something that may never ever happen again and I didn’t want to miss any of it, even though I knew sleep was inevitable. As I stroked her hair gently, she moaned softly and became restless. “Shhhh….” I murmured, trying to soothe her, and held her a little more tightly, stroking her face. “Ethan…No….” She changed positions roughly, and I once she started to settle, I held her against me again. “Not alone… Ethan….” “You won’t be alone sweetheart,” I whispered and she sighed, burying her face in my chest. She said something else, but I couldn’t make it out. Finally she calmed, and went back to sleep, where I soon followed. The morning dawned bright and clear, we couldn’t have asked for better weather for an outdoor ceremony. I looked down at the sleeping girl in my arms and sighed, knowing that I could really get used to waking up like this. She felt so completely perfect here, and I wondered for just a moment why she hadn’t stayed with Ethan. Surely she’d rather sleep in his arms? Then I thought about my first day with Ethan when he explained the rules, one of which was that subs never slept in his bed, ever. Surely Lexi was more than just a sub? I decided that I didn’t want to think about this now; I just wanted to enjoy the feeling of her in my arms for a little while longer. 126

Around seven, I heard a soft knock on my door and Ethan stuck his head in. When he saw Lexi sleeping in my arms, his brow furrowed. “Well, that answers my question as to why Lexi’s car is here. I’m sorry I bothered you.” “She was upset about leaving and didn’t want to be alone,” I whispered so as not to wake her up, and immediately his face softened. Nodding, he looked at her for a moment more before pulling back from the room. “I’ll see you both at nine,” he replied as he closed the door. I sighed and shook Lexi awake. Lexi and I were in position at nine, just as we should be. We were both nervous about graduation today, and weren’t sure why we were having a session. I knelt beside Lexi, and looked straight ahead no matter how much I wanted to look at her. I wondered briefly if this is the last time we would be together like this. Before I could contemplate it too deeply, the door opened and Master Ethan came in, standing in front of us in dress pants and a light sweater. “There are just two things I want to do today before you get ready for your graduation,” he said, and I relaxed. It wasn’t actually a full session. “Go over to the long padded table in the center of the room and bend over it, side by side. Spread your legs wide.” We moved to the table on our knees and stood just long enough to bend over the table, our hands still clasped behind our necks. Lexi and I both continued to look straight ahead while I spread my legs as far as I could while still maintaining my bent posturing on the table. “I love seeing you both in this position for me. You are so open, so ready for me. God, I wish I could take you both hard over the table, but there just isn’t time,” he said in a low moan as he moved over to Lexi. I heard Lexi gasp next to me, and then moan deeply. Not daring to turn and look, I figured I’d know soon enough. I felt him move behind me, and then felt his warm fingers spreading open my buttocks. He began lubricating my anus, 127

and I moaned softly as his fingers moved in and out of me, already hard, this just exaggerated my problem. Next, I felt him push something into me and secure it with a harness. I moved experimentally, minimally, but the thing just shifted. He left us bent over like that for a few more minutes while he walked around the table, looking at each delicate detail of our bodies, touching various places on me, causing me to squirm a little on the table, and then he chuckled and stepped away. “Now, let’s make sure the remotes for these plugs work.” Suddenly I felt the plug start to vibrate. Lexi and I moaned in unison as he clicked it again and it vibrated faster. Fuck that felt good. Then, without warning, he turned them off, and Lexi and I both let out a breath. “Please wait for me by the door.” He bent to pick up something out of a bag in the floor. I growled under my breath at being all riled up only to be dismissed, but I went to get the shorts I’d worn in. We dressed quickly and assumed our positions once again. It felt odd to be in this position at least semi-clothed, but we waited patiently. Walking up to me, he opened a small black leather box, like something an engagement ring would be in. I was intrigued. He held out a thin chain with an unassuming pendant and I looked at it. It was some kind of Japanese symbol. “This kanji symbol is hokori, which means pride. You are someone to be proud of, Jayden. As a sub, as a student, and as a man – I hope this reminds you of that. It is my graduation gift to you,” he explained as he put it on me, and then kissed my forehead. Awestruck, I could tell he had this made for me by the engraved initials of ‘ERHB’ on the back. Briefly, I wondered what the ‘R’ and the ‘H’ stood for. He moved over to Lexi and took out a similar chain with the same Bryant family crest that was engraved on our cuffs. ‘This is to remind you that you are never alone, that you have a family. It is my graduation gift to you,” he whispered and put the chain on Lexi. She looked up at him with tears in 128

her eyes and nodded as he kissed her on the forehead, his lips lingering a little longer there. “Let me know when you are ready to leave for the college.” After he left the room, Lexi and I looked at each other for a moment, still staggered by his gifts. Then we both stood up, and I took her hand. “I have a gift for you too, Lexi.” “And I have one for you.” She smiled. “Let’s exchange them later tonight, okay?” I nodded, and we went to get dressed, as Lexi still had to go home and get ready. Thankfully she didn’t live far, and didn’t require much maintenance. The plug felt slightly uncomfortable as I made my way to my room. As I dressed, the harness which was made of light leather, felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. Certainly, everyone would be able to see it through my clothes. My erection just wouldn’t go down either, so I went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. That helped a little, until the buzzing started. I growled and it stopped when I heard Ethan’s wicked laughter from the hall. Finally, we were ready, and it was time to make our way to the college. After four years of hard and strenuous liberal arts busy work, we would be able to start taking on the stuff that mattered. Lexi and I were nervous but excited. Well, in my case, very excited. I didn’t know if he was doing it to Lexi too, but he kept turning my plug on and off randomly throughout the drive. By the time we reached the college, I thought I was going to explode. Pulling into the parking garage, Ethan parked next to a large conversion van. We got out of the car, Ethan and I from the driver’s side, as I was seated behind him and Lexi from the passenger side. Suddenly, he pushed me back against the car, and I felt his erection grinding into mine. He leaned close and whispered, “I love it that you are so fucking hard for me.” Then, he walked around and took Lexi’s hand and they walked towards the school. I was contemplating the punishment I’d get if I just opened my pants and jacked off 129

quickly before everything got started, but a quick vibrating in my ass told me that he was still watching. Fuck! I grabbed my gown from the hanger in the back seat and put it on before I followed them at a jog. At least the gown would hide my raging hard-on. As I caught up to them, Lexi took my hand. We walked toward the large open area where Lexi put on her gown. I looked around, but didn’t see anyone I knew, so I decided to stay with Ethan and Lexi. It was almost time for us to take our seats when I heard my name being called. Turning around, I saw my parents and Josh standing a few yards away. They waved and came over. “Hi,” I greeted, a little uncomfortably. My parents smiled at me, and Josh just looked concerned. “Well, uhm – mom, dad, this is my friend Lexi. Lexi, you’ve already met Josh, and these are my parents, Harry and Janet Carter.” Lexi smiled politely and shook hands with them. My mother smiled almost too happily, and I knew she thought Lexi was my girlfriend. “And this is Ethan, my roommate and friend.” I introduced him, indicating Ethan on my left. When he shook my parents’ hands graciously, he looked down at the ground. Something about Ethan right now screamed socially awkward, and I just didn’t understand. He was so confident in almost every situation we’d been in, but meeting new people seemed to unnerve him. He looked so shy, and unsure of himself. As I thought back, I realized this was the first social function I’d ever heard of Ethan attending since we lived together. “Ethan, have we met? You look familiar.” My dad said scrutinizing Ethan closely. Ethan looked up at him for just a second and said, “No sir, we haven’t met.” The tone suggested that there was no room for ambiguity. I noticed that he didn’t say ‘I don’t think we’ve met’, as most people would have. It was a subtle, but distinct, difference. Lexi looked as bewildered as I did. Then, Ethan looked to me, his face uncomfortable, and said, “I’m going to find a seat. I’ll see you afterwards.” In a flash, he was gone. 130

So, there I stood with my parents and brother-in-law, feeling fairly uncomfortable not only because of the toy that I prayed Master Ethan wouldn’t set off, but from his sudden departure. Did he know my father? I couldn’t imagine my dad or anyone in my family knowing Ethan in the same capacity that I knew him. I almost snorted in amusement at the thought until Josh’s voice brought me back sharply. “Kimberly is here, Jayden. She went to the ladies room.” I nodded; I had no interest in seeing my sister. While I knew we had things to talk over, today wasn’t that day. Just as I looked over at Lexi, she reminded me that we needed to get to the staging area where they would call us up to get our degrees. We were both graduating with honors, so we also had to pick up our second tassels. Taking Lexi’s hand, I told my parents that we would see them afterwards, and caught sight of my mother’s beaming face. I couldn’t imagine what that meant. It was like she’d never seen me with a girl before. Maybe it was just because I was graduating. As we got to the staging area, I felt the toy turn on and I fought the urge to moan. Standing with my parents had certainly quelled my erection, but it was starting to return in full force now. I looked down, seeing Lexi had her eyes closed, and I knew hers was on too. Moving quickly, she stood in front of me, pushing her hips back into mine. I felt my plug vibrating, and now I could feel hers too as my erection pressed into her buttocks, and I nearly came right there. Grabbing her hips, I pushed her forward a little so that we were no longer in contact. She giggled, and then the vibrations stopped. I rolled my eyes, and then stepped forward into line with the other history majors. Lexi went to find the other literature majors and we waited for our time to walk across the stage. After an eternity of waiting, which included several minutes of teasing from Master Ethan, names were being called to head up to the stage. As they got to the history majors, I started to get nervous. I would be walking across the stage in front of my family, friends, and fellow students with a raging 131

erection. I was so fucking aroused that it didn’t really matter, but I could just imagine myself having an orgasm in the middle of the stage. Fuck, I hoped he didn’t torture me with that thing while I was on stage. Looking around, I didn’t see him, but he had to be close because of the range on the remote. The vibrations started as I got to the top step to walk onto the stage. I paused briefly, but then kept walking, as it would cause more suspicion if I didn’t go out there. My cock throbbed, I tried to think about all of the people that I would embarrass myself in front of, the audience watching, but that just turned me on more. What the hell was the matter with me? Thankfully, Master Ethan must have been watching, because he turned the plug off half-way across the stage, and I was able to get my diploma without releasing in front of thousands of people. Hurrying to the other side of the stage, I sat quickly, trying inconspicuously to adjust myself to be more comfortable. When it was over, I looked around searching for Master Ethan. I wanted to beg him to just let me come; I don’t think I’d ever been so hard. My parents found me first, and thankfully, my erection died completely before my mother hugged me. Of course, they wanted to go out to dinner tonight to celebrate, so I told them I’d meet them later, and once again went in search of Ethan. I knew my parents could tell I was distracted, but I prayed they didn’t know why. Finally, I ran across Lexi who had been looking for me. “He’s at the car,” she informed me, and we made our way back to the parking garage. Sure enough, when we entered the structure, Ethan was sitting casually on the back bumper of the Toyota, smiling at us as we approached. “Lexi, angel? Would you mind if Jayden sat up front on the way home?” he asked sweetly, and she agreed. I had no idea what that meant, but he held the door open for her to sit behind me and then came up to me. “Take your jacket off, and put it on the back of the seat.” I followed his instructions, getting into the car as he got in behind 132

the wheel. He told me to put my hands behind the head rest, but that it was my choice, because we weren’t in the room. I put my hands behind the head rest, it didn’t matter where we were; to me he was my Master. I felt him cuff my hands to the head rest, with my jacket covering the cuffs, so it looked like I was stretched out relaxing. Before he pulled out of the parking spot, he leaned over and unbuttoned my center button on my dress shirt pulling up my undershirt. Then, he unzipped my dress pants, leaving my straining erection inside them. Because of the harness, I hadn’t bothered with underwear. Being exposed like this made me so much harder, I only prayed that I made it home without making a mess of myself. We started driving through the garage. On the next level down, as Master Ethan rubbed my inner thigh softly, I happened to look out the window and saw my parents talking to Kim and Josh near their car. My father looked up and our eyes locked for just a second before I looked away. I was bound and exposed in the car; I couldn’t exactly roll down the window and have a conversation with him. When I looked back, he was in a heated discussion with Kimberly. I was sure I was going to hear about that later. As we drove into the sunlight outside of the garage, Ethan turned his head slightly and told Lexi to play with my nipples through my shirt. I didn’t even try to hold back my response as I dropped my head back to the head rest and moaned aloud. The handcuffs made soft clinking noises against the metal posts of the headrest as I strained. For the next three miles, she pinched, pulled, and rolled my nipples. I was gently rubbing my hips against the seat when Master Ethan’s hand moved from my thigh to my zipper, and I felt him slide one finger into my pants and trace the contours of my swollen cock. I whimpered and bucked my hips up against his hand. Chuckling, he withdrew it, saying we were almost home. Thank God… I wanted to come so fucking bad. Before we got out of the car, he released my hands and I very carefully zipped up my pants, I didn’t bother redoing my 133

shirt. As I reached the porch, Master Ethan called out, “Go up to the room, now.” I could have cried out in joy. Lexi and I all but ran up to the second floor and shed our clothing, not even bothering to hang, or even fold it. We were in position, when he entered the room nude about five minutes later. Master Ethan nude was truly a sight to behold. I had never been attracted to a man before, but he was absolutely beautiful. My glimpse from that one session did not do him justice, and I couldn’t help but stare at him. Smiling down at us, he told us to stand, and I saw him set the remotes down on a nearby table, and then he removed our harnesses, but left the plugs in, telling us to go lay on the mats right next to each other. The thought of him taking me on the mat again made me shiver, but I followed Lexi and we carefully lay next to each other on our backs as he instructed. I felt the plug pushing into me as my ass touched the cool mat. Fuck, I needed to come. Master Ethan stood a few feet away, just watching us squirm on the mat as he turned both plugs on. “I want you to make yourselves come for me. You are too aroused to be able to control yourselves, and you are of no use to me without that control,” he said sternly, and I hesitated for just a moment before reaching down and wrapping my hand around my aching cock, when I heard Lexi whimper beside me, and I knew she had her fingers inside, stroking herself. Both of us were writhing on the floor beneath Master Ethan’s gaze, performing for him. I watched him kneel down by our feet and grab Lexi’s ankle, lifting her leg to lay it over mine, spreading her legs wide as he watched her rubbing herself furiously. Even though I couldn’t see, her sounds made me frantic. Then, her hips came up to meet her hands and she began fucking herself in earnest. That did it for me, and I closed my eyes tightly, and pumped my cock hard. I was done with the playing, and the teasing. I wanted to fucking come. Lexi’s orgasm hit first, and she cried out desperately as her back arched and her fingers flew. That sound, that wildly free and untamed cry of passion ignited in my groin and everything 134

exploded. Colored lights flashed in front of my closed eyes, my body was on fire, and I felt my semen spraying over my stomach, not recognizing the sounds that were ripped from me, only my desperate whimpers as it all started to subside. It was a good thing I was already on the floor because my arms and legs dropped to the mat as I finished utterly spent. My eyes opened as I heard the sound above me, and when I looked up, I saw Master Ethan’s hand flying quickly over his cock, his eyes closed, and his mouth slightly open. It never occurred to me that he would join us in our little masturbatory escapade. Fascinated, I watched as his head dropped back and he groaned loudly, and I wished I knew what he was thinking about. Oddly, I found I was slightly jealous of the thought of him using Lexi’s image to masturbate, it was unnerving that I was hoping he was thinking about me. I was brought from my thoughts by the feeling of something warm on my chest. Master Ethan grunted in time with his pumping hand as he came first on my chest, then on Lexi’s. It was wickedly depraved, and exciting to me, so much so that without asking, I rolled over and quickly licked his semen off of Lexi’s breasts. She moaned, and then so did he. I looked up, hoping that this didn’t displease him, but when he smiled at me, I exhaled the breath I had been holding. “Now, I’m sure your parents want to take you out tonight Jayden, so you should go get ready. I’m taking Lexi out tonight as well.” He smiled down at her, and she returned his smile, and then we all left the room together, completely devoid of any clothing to get ready for our respective evenings. Since it wasn’t raining, I took my bike, and met my parents at a local high end restaurant; it was just like them to choose the most expensive place around, they just wanted to be seen. That was why I had refused their help for school, I wasn’t like them, I didn’t care about the money; I just wanted to live my life on my own terms. I was met with my mother’s disapproving glare as I got off the bike. The dislike for my bike was something she did not hide, she said it made me look like a common hoodlum. I 135

grinned to myself as I walked over to them. My mother kissed my cheek as I hugged her, but I noticed my father didn’t meet my eye as we shook hands. I couldn’t help but be unnerved. Dinner was relatively uneventful; mostly talk about my plans for grad school, and about my new living arrangements. My father, normally in control of every situation, was glancing around nervously like he was at dinner with a mistress. He was social when called upon to be so, but his behavior was just odd. My mother was her normal cheerful self, and that made me feel a bit better. They wanted to hear about Lexi, my mother’s disappointment obvious when I told them that we were just friends. Thankfully, the two topics I wanted to avoid, Ethan and Kimberly, were not discussed. Although, I found it odd that they didn’t ask me why Kimberly and I were fighting. Finally the check came, and I could escape the awkward evening. Just before I turned to go, my mother hugged me once more and shoved and envelope into my hand. I looked at her questioningly, but she just told me that she loved me and they would see me soon, so I shrugged and threw the envelope in my inner jacket pocket before getting on my bike. Ethan and Lexi weren’t back from their dinner yet when I got home. Thinking about that afternoon’s session, I smiled, it had been so hot listening to Lexi, and I hoped Ethan would want to have another session when they got back. I went into my bedroom and took off my shoes. The envelope my mother had given me caught on my shirt when I pulled my jacket off, I’d nearly forgotten it. Sighing, I pulled it out and ripped it open. There was a check and a short note from my parents. Jayden – We know that you are in trouble. We had a long talk with Kimberly. Please don’t be angry with her, she was only trying to help you because she loves you. Please accept this help with your education and other expenses. We love you so much and just want for you to be happy. - Mom & Dad 136

I looked at the check for one hundred thousand dollars. The check, and the note, trembled in my hands as I thought about the implications. My father didn’t meet my eye at the restaurant, my father and Kimberly’s had a heated discussion in the parking garage. Oh God, she had told them about her suspicions. That’s why they were giving me money; they think I’m fucking guys for the rent. Oh Jesus, my mother thinks I’m a prostitute. How the hell can I tell her the truth? The letter and the check fluttered to the floor as I picked up the first thing my hands came across on my desk. I threw the book with as much force as I could against the far wall. The rage and adrenaline coursed through my veins as I grabbed my desk lamp and hurled it, watching it explode as it slammed into the drywall. I was halfway through destroying my room when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Violently, I shrugged it off, and pulled my bookshelves over, everything slamming to the floor. In the next instant, I felt steel bands wrap around my arms and chest. I struggled ferociously, but they held firm. Then, I heard Ethan’s voice in my ear, telling me that it would be okay, that we would figure it out, begging me to calm down. I continued in a futile struggle until I watched Lexi pick up the letter. I stopped moving then, and Ethan sank with me to the floor as I put my head in my hands. * * * It took days for me to put my bedroom back together. However, it took me much less time to drop the check into a fresh envelope and pen a response to my parents. It took nearly as little time to pen one for my dear sister as well; I would never forgive Kimberly for what she had done. I was horrified at what my parents thought of me. It was with a heavy heart that I saw Ethan’s text on my phone and knew I had no choice but to be in the room tomorrow night. For the first time since I started with Master Ethan, I did not want to go into the room, as I felt it would solidify my feelings about the estrangement with my parents. But mostly, because I knew it would be our last session 137

with Lexi, and I couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge that she was really leaving. I was in my position ten minutes before we were supposed to meet. My clothes were off, my hands behind my neck, but I was not the least bit aroused, I couldn’t even bring myself to try. When Lexi came into the room, she removed her clothes and ran her fingers through my hair before getting into position next to me, but I did not acknowledge her. I merely stared ahead of me, waiting for Master Ethan. How could he be so heartless as to want us to perform on Lexi’s last night with us? It was callous and wrong. When he entered the room, he was once again nude. I didn’t look at him, but continued to stare straight ahead. As he walked over to stand in front of us, and I noticed out of my peripheral vision that he was not erect either. Reaching down, he took one of my hands, and one of Lexi’s hands. We both looked up at him. Wordlessly, he pulled us up so that he were standing and then led us to the mats in the back where there was a large comforter and several pillows laid out waiting for us. He stood facing Lexi, and pulled me around behind her. Taking her face in his hand, he said gently, “I thought we’d do something a little different tonight. Tonight, is all about you, angel.” And then he began to kiss her neck as he reached back to me and pulled my arms around her waist. Then, I understood, he couldn’t put it into so many words, but he wanted to give her a night full of love to remember when she was alone. He traced his fingers slowly down her arms, and then her sides, while my fingers trailed over her stomach and then slowly up her back. When his hands went to her hips, pulling her against him, mine found her soft breasts, running my palms lightly over them, and kissing the back of her shoulders. Lexi, who had apparently been stunned into silence for a moment, regained herself and put one arm back around my neck, her soft hand grabbed lightly at my hair. I moaned softly into her ear as she pulled at it, her other hand was entwined in Ethan’s hair as 138

he moved his lips slowly down her trembling body. I held her breasts up in offering for him after murmuring her name into her neck, and she moaned and grasped my hair again. Ethan rolled her nipples with his tongue as my fingers traced lightly over her hips. Then, he pulled her down to the comforter and laid her on her back. With her head resting on the pillows, Ethan took that moment to press his face between her legs, and she moaned, pulling me down to her. I kissed her deeply, and then she whispered into my neck, “I want you in my mouth.” I lay down on my side, realizing that I could also take Ethan in my mouth if we got the positioning right. Seeing what I was doing, both Lexi and Ethan moved to their sides. After a moment of awkward positioning, we were all pleasing each other. Lexi was sucking me with her head resting on a pillow while I serviced Ethan, also with my head on a pillow, and Ethan teased Lexi with his tongue, his head resting on her inner thigh. It felt so intimate, we were one unbroken circle. I felt Lexi moaning around me in her mouth, and I couldn’t help but do the same. Ethan was moving his hips gently with one of his hands in my hair, and I could hear him groaning, almost whimpering against Lexi’s soft skin. It seemed that this level of intimacy was well out of his comfort zone, and his concentration was slipping. Incredibly, it was Ethan who lost his control first, breaking the circle by rolling onto his back, pushing his hips in the air. I got to my knees with my forearms on either side of his hips while Lexi moved back to watch as I moved my hands under him and rubbed his buttocks as he pushed up into my mouth. “Mmmmm….Jayden….Oh, God…That feels….” he moaned, and I was taken aback by his sudden vocalization. Usually, he only swore or talked dirty. Was he starting to feel something behind the sex? I sucked harder, trying to get another reaction out of him, but he took my head in both his hands and fucked my mouth, crying out unintelligibly as he came. As he recovered from the intensity of his orgasm, Lexi pulled on my shoulders, pushing me down onto my back. 139

“My turn….” she said with a wicked grin and her mouth closed around the head of my impossibly hard cock. I felt her soft tongue twirl around the head, then down the sides before she began to suck. “Wait….” I said quickly, and pulled on her hips so that she was straddling my head. She moaned as she began again and I buried my face between her thighs, wrapping my arms around her hips, holding her, pulling her closer. I just wanted that connection with her, and it seemed that she felt the same because a minute later, I felt her arms wrap around my thighs. Her small hands massaged between my legs, and my hips began to move slowly of their own volition. I felt her moan, and then she started rocking her hips, grinding against my face, she was so close. I slid two fingers into her, stroking her as she rocked. Releasing me from her mouth, she concentrated on what she was feeling, and it didn’t take long until her sweet wet sex began to spasm around my tongue and she came hard. She rested her head on my stomach for just a second before falling to the mat beside me. I looked over at her and noticed Ethan watching. Crawling over, he lay on his stomach, stroking my legs and my hips before taking me into his mouth. The sight of his soft hair as I looked down caused me to push my head back into the mat. I couldn’t watch. His mouth felt so fucking incredible, I couldn’t look down to see his lips sliding over me. As I dug my fingers into the mat at my sides, he continued to rub my thighs, up to the curve of my hip as he sucked me hard. A deep guttural moan escaped me and I exploded into his waiting mouth. I fell back against the mat panting, and he crawled up beside me and kissed me on my sweaty forehead. Then, he lay down next to Lexi, pulling her into his arms and holding her. We lay there talking for several minutes, and I watched as he kissed her forehead, her cheeks, the top of her head, but oddly, never her lips.

140

“I’ll be back in just a minute; I’m going to get a bottle of wine,” Ethan said, and I pulled Lexi to me, rolling her so she was facing me and I kissed her softly. “Mmmmmmm….” she whispered into my neck. “I miss kissing,” she giggled. “He doesn’t kiss you?” I asked. “No, he’s never kissed me. Why?” At that moment Ethan came back into the room carrying a tray of fruit and cheese, wine and glasses. My mind was reeling, remembering the kiss Ethan and I had shared, the kiss he had instigated when I told him I was staying. We sat talking, laughing, and eating. The one thing we didn’t talk about was Lexi’s impending departure. Ethan poured three glasses of wine for us, a very nice red wine, and we continued to talk. It wasn’t until Lexi started eating grapes off of Ethan’s stomach that things began to turn sexual again. But, it was inevitable really; we needed that connection tonight. Ethan set the tray aside, and the lay down on his side facing Lexi as she lay on her side facing him, and I lay behind her. As we became a writhing tangle of limbs Lexi threw her leg over Ethan’s hip and he held it there. No foreplay was needed in this round, only the promise of a loving bond that would not soon be broken. I reached behind me and grabbed the tube that had been placed there. Just as Ethan entered Lexi, she wrapped her leg more tightly around him as they became one. I used the lubricant to prepare myself for her, and slid in easily, hearing her gasp as I entered her very slowly. Moaning, her hand came back to my hip, not to stop me, but to pull me closer. In that moment, I felt that I could never be close enough. We were all moving in unison, it was the sweetest lovemaking I’d ever had, and it broke my heart. I felt the tears start to fall as the intensity grew. This was so much more than just sex to me, and I wrapped my arms more tightly around Lexi. She let her head fall back to my chest, and I could see that her eyes were closed, and her face was wet. As we neared our climaxes, 141

Ethan’s hand came off of Lexi’s hip and rested on mine. I reached down, holding it there as I felt Lexi’s orgasm begin, crying out first my name, and then Ethan’s, as the feeling overtook her. Soon after that, I heard Ethan moaning ‘my Lexi’ over and over into her neck, and his grip tightened on my hip as he came. Finally, it was my turn, I hadn’t intended to be the last holdout again, but I couldn’t let it end. When it was over, she would leave. I cried quietly into her shoulder as I came, my breathing punctuated by soft sobs. I took a deep breath as she rolled over to me, and was able to calm myself. She kissed me deeply, and I didn’t bother looking up to see Ethan’s reaction, as this moment was just about us. She whispered softly to me, “Will you take me to the airport in the morning?” I nodded into her shoulder, and we just lay there in each others’ arms for several minutes. I stood up, and held down a hand to bring her with me. I looked around, half expecting Ethan to be gone, but he was leaning on a nearby table. She walked over to him, and he opened his arms to her, holding her for a long moment. “Goodbye, my Lexi,” he said softly, and she reached down and removed her wrist cuff. “Goodbye, Master Ethan,” she whispered as she handed him her leather cuff, and then quietly left the room.

142

Chapter 8 Rising early, I wanted to take a shower before driving Lexi to the airport. As I stood under the spray, I listened to the piano music coming from upstairs. Every so often, I would hear a few missed notes. Ethan was playing, and he was upset. I went downstairs and thought about breakfast, but couldn’t make myself eat anything. Instead, I sat at the breakfast bar, playing with a glass of juice until it was time to pick up Lexi. Briefly, I considered not going, then she’d have to stay – but all that would do was complicate an already awful day. I headed out to my truck, and made the short drive to her house. When I arrived, she was standing out front with only her carry-on bag, as everything else had already been shipped to her new apartment. I got out of the truck and took it from her without a word, putting it behind her seat while she climbed up into the cab. I closed her door with a heavy heart. The drive to the airport was quiet; neither of us seemed to want to talk about the elephant in the cab. She reached over and held my hand, a simple gesture, but it helped the sadness that was gripping me. 143

I parked the truck in short term parking, and grabbed her bag from behind the seat. Carrying it for her, I walked her through to the security checkpoint. I wasn’t allowed past this point, so this would be the scene of our farewell. I set her bag down between my feet, and wrapped my arms around her waist. She smiled up at me, wrapping her arms around my neck. To any passersby, we would look like a normal couple saying goodbye. How I wished that were true. “I’m going to miss you, Lexi – so much,” I whispered into her neck as she held me to her. “I’m going to miss you too, Jayden,” she murmured, and squeezed just that much tighter. I pulled back slightly and dipped my head down bringing my lips to hers. The kiss started softly, but quickly deepened, and I felt my heart clench painfully as her lush lips responded to mine. I couldn’t be sure, but it felt like she was kissing me with the same intensity, the same desperation that I was using to kiss her. Suddenly, it occurred to me that we were probably making a scene, so I stroked her face gently, and pulled back just a little. Her eyes met mine, and then closed as I kissed her forehead. We looked up at the clock and saw that her flight would be boarding soon, so I picked up her bag. I couldn’t stand it; I pulled her to me, and nearly crushed her in my arms. “Please…Don’t leave,” I whispered to her in a broken voice, she pulled back with tears in her eyes. “Don’t do this to me, Jayden,” she said, and took her bag. Putting it over her shoulder she turned to go, but I grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry….” I said quickly. “Please, have a safe trip.” She nodded and headed for the metal detectors. All of a sudden, I heard running footsteps behind me. I turned to see Ethan running full out towards us. I was too shocked to say anything, but he called to Lexi and she turned. Skidding to a stop next to me, panting, he bent and put his 144

hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. Lexi watched him with a look of absolute shock on her face. When he got a hold of himself, he stood up looking at Lexi. Then a look of sheer determination appeared in his eyes, and he bridged the distance between them in three long strides. He took her face into his hands, and kissed her. It was long, and sweet and full of meaning. Her hands came up and rested on his shoulders as their kiss began to fade, and he pulled away slowly, pressing his forehead to hers. Then, just loud enough that I could make it out, he whispered, “I love you, Lexi.” My heart sank as she stretched up and kissed his cheek, then whispered in his ear. I knew that she was returning the sentiment, and it hurt – more than I would admit, even to myself. “Please, please be safe,” he whispered, and then pulled out of her arms, and turned. He walked away without looking back, and Lexi watched him leave with tears on her face. Without another word, or even a glance in my direction she walked through the security checkpoint and down towards the terminal. All I could do was watch her leave. When I left the airport alone, I headed to the shore. There was no reason to return to the house, and the thought of being there without her made me feel sick. I had been sitting on the beach just watching the waves for hours when my phone chirped with a text message. I didn’t really want to look, but I did. It was from Lexi. I am here safely. Please take care of him, Jayden – for me. I sighed and stood up. Walking back to the truck, I typed out a quick reply and decided to head home. I did care about Ethan, and I knew he had to be hurting as much as I was. As I pulled around that last corner, I saw that his car in the drive, I decided that maybe beer and pizza was in order. Looking 145

around the first floor, I didn’t see him so I headed up to his room. I knocked, but there was no answer, either he didn’t want to be bothered or he wasn’t in there. Then, it occurred to me that he might be in the room. That room was where he and Lexi spent most of their time together. Did I want to disturb that? I told Lexi I would take care of him, I might as well start. I opened the door of the room, and looked around, at first, not seeing him. He was sitting in the back corner with his back against the far wall and his knees pulled up to his chest, holding something in his hands, his eyes were blank, like he was looking right through it. As I got closer, I realized that it was Lexi’s wrist cuff. I sat down on the floor next to him, but he didn’t move. He looked…broken, there was really no other word for it. We sat like that for a long time, and then abruptly he stood up while I sat on the floor looking up at him. “Take off your clothes, Jayden,” he said in a low stern voice. I blinked up at him, but he turned and walked over to the wall with the ropes hanging. Stunned, I stood up and headed for the front of the room. I removed my clothing, and assumed my position on the floor, watching him as he picked up seemingly random things, and then walked over to me. When he looked down, I saw that all of the emotion was gone from his face, like he’d just turned it off, but what struck me the most were his eyes – his eyes were wild. He was Master Ethan now, not my friend Ethan, and he was in control. I started to get hard thinking about being controlled by him. “Come with me,” he demanded, and I followed him on my knees. He turned me roughly, and bound my wrists behind me of me with a short piece of the rope, tight, but not too tight. “Open,” he said tersely, and I opened my mouth as he shoved his hard cock in roughly, and I nearly lost my balance. Grasping my hair in his fingers, he fucked my mouth steadily. I closed my eyes and worked to please him. “That’s it. You love sucking my cock don’t you?” I moaned around him, trying to convey my answer to him since I couldn’t speak. Groaning, he 146

moved his hips faster. “God, it’s almost like you were made just for this. You’re so fucking good.” Suddenly, he stopped and pulled out of my mouth, tugging me up by my hair, he forced me to bend over the table. With one hand pressed against the back of my neck, he held me on the table and used one of his feet to kick apart my legs. I was spread wide for him as he did something behind me that I couldn’t see. In the next instant, he thrust himself roughly into me. I cried out from the pain of it, but didn’t use my safe word. It fucking hurt and my eyes watered as I felt his grip tighten on my neck, but he didn’t slow as he took me over the table. He slid the hand not on my neck down between my body and the table and began stroking me. My cock hardened in his hand, and the pain slowly started to subside as it mixed with the pleasure of his touch. The lubricant still on his hand from getting himself ready make his fingers glide over my skin. “So fucking good….” he groaned and stroked me harder. Then his lips were at my ear, his body pressing me harder into the table. “You are my little whore aren’t you? I wonder what your dear sister would think if she walked in now.” I was too shocked to say anything. How could he bring that up? After all that had happened, he would use that to degrade me? However, there was nothing I could do about it pinioned to the table as I was, being driven into harshly. “You’re spread wide for me on this table, grunting and whimpering with my cock buried in your ass.” He growled as he stroked me faster. I moaned, not only because of his touch but because of his tone. I felt ashamed, but it fucking turned me on when he talked to me like this. “You’d beg me to let you come right in front of her wouldn’t you?” I groaned, feeling my orgasm start to build. I started distracting myself to delay it as he fucked me harder. “Beg me, my little whore. Beg me to let you come.” “Please…Please Master, it feels so good. Please let me come for you.” I cried, totally lost to the overload of sensations he 147

was causing, entirely devoid of shame. I would beg, plead, anything he wanted if he would just let me come. “It’s all for you Master, everything, please.…” “Yes, your orgasms are mine. Do you want to come for me?” I knew that he must be close too. I only hoped he would grant me permission. “YES! Master Please! I want to come for you!” I pleaded, nearly screaming in my need and his hands both went to my hips and he pulled me against him as he came. Crying out savagely, he held me still against him, filling me. Then, almost as an afterthought, he granted me permission. My head came off the table as my back arched sharply. “Master…Master….Oh, God…Oh, FUCK!” I cried as my orgasm took hold of me, so strong I could almost see my semen spraying onto the hardwood floor as I found my release, and I felt him panting against my back, his forehead pressed against my shoulder blade as my orgasm started to subside. Then, I started to feel other things. As he pulled out of me, I felt the pain and soreness from him taking me so roughly. I felt stiffness and cramping in my arms and shoulders, and my legs were starting to ache from my position. He straightened up, and untied my hands, but I didn’t move from the table. I wasn’t sure I could move, everything was stiff and sore. I heard him move to a nearby cabinet, and I thought he was going to get something for the pain, but he only grabbed towel to clean my release from the floor. He returned quickly, and knelt next to the table. “Master, I…” I started, I wanted to hear his voice, get some kind of reassurance from him, any measure of affection after what just transpired. I would receive none. “You may go,” he said brusquely, cutting me off. “Ethan.…” I tried again, putting my hand on his shoulder. In my lust induced haze, I hadn’t noticed that his eyes were still wild, out of control. 148

“I said GO!” He roared at me, and I picked myself up off the table. I could feel his semen trickling down the back of my leg as I shuffled to my room. Not having bothered to grab my clothes, I entered my room and fell onto my bed in a heap, lying on top of my blankets, completely naked. I was asleep within minutes. * * * It had been three weeks since Lexi’s departure, and Ethan had not mentioned another session, but I wasn’t sure if it was because he realized that he may have lost control in the last one, that he did actually hurt me, or because he missed Lexi so much. Since it had been the three of us for the last couple of months, I’m sure that being with me reminded him of her. I wanted to talk to him about it, but how do you approach your Dom and talk about such things? Perhaps I should have emailed Lexi and asked her advice, but I didn’t want to tell her about him having lost control. I couldn’t admit how I felt about it – the pain, the humiliation. We had a rare day home together, and we were in the kitchen sitting at the table, both having just finished a light breakfast, and I threw a napkin towards the kitchen trash bin. Of course I missed, so I got up and bent over to pick up the paper when I felt Ethan grasp my hips and pull me against him. He ground his hardening erection slowly against my ass, and I stiffened, pulling away slightly, a reaction to the last time he had taken me. I had been sore for a couple of days after our last session; I wasn’t in a hurry for a repeat of that. He sensed my hesitation, and wrapped his arms around my waist in a strangely affectionate gesture, his lips came softly to my ear and he murmured, “Come upstairs with me….” I hesitated, not sure if that was a command from my Master or not. He rubbed my chest lightly as he covered the back of my neck with gentle kisses. “Please, I just want to make you feel good.” Then I knew it wasn’t a command, it was a request. Turning me in his arms, he stroked my face while I looked 149

down at his chest. “I know I’ve lost some of your trust, and that is unforgivable. Please…Let me try to make it up to you?” I sighed and nodded, then turned to head upstairs, feeling like a man marching to the gallows. I walked into the room and stopped short, not knowing what the hell was I supposed to do. Was I supposed to just wait for him? Was I supposed to be in position? It felt like that first day all over again, only now I knew what was going to happen. Sighing, I disrobed and was on my knees in position when Ethan entered the room in his normal t-shirt and leather pants. Seeing that outfit, I knew that I had chosen correctly to be ready for him like this. “Stand.” He walked around behind me, where I felt his lips at the back of my neck and I shivered when his hands ghosted over me – my arms, my sides, and my chest. The soft, barely there touches across my naked body made me tremble. I was excited, in spite of my fear. The effect he had on my body was nothing short of miraculous. When he walked in front of me and began kissing my chest, sucking gently on each of my nipples in turn, my head dropped back and I moaned. “That’s it…Does that feel good, my Jayden?” I hummed quietly. Then he stopped, and it took me a minute to realize that he was no longer touching me. I brought my head back up to look at him, startled to see tears in his eyes. “Master?” I asked gently, and for the first time ever broke my position, taking my hands off my neck and putting one on his cheek. He didn’t look up, but I heard his whisper, his voice was clear, but unmistakably broken. “Please don’t leave.” I was stunned. “Master, I’m not leaving. I’m right here.” He continued to speak to the floor. “I lost control with you. I’ve never lost control with a sub before. Control is the whole fucking point.” He growled, and then his voice was apologetic. “I wouldn’t blame you if you 150

left. I…I hurt you. It was almost… almost….” He stopped short, and I heard him take a deep agonized breath. Then he finished in a whisper “It was almost rape.” His knees buckled and he hit the floor hard. “I couldn’t… I mean, I can’t….” He was grabbing handfuls of his own hair as he curled in on himself. I couldn’t even imagine what was making him act this way. He was always in control, always so composed. “Ethan, stop,” I said kneeling down in front of him, and he finally raised his eyes to me. They were wet, and fearful. “If I’d have wanted you to stop, I could have used my safe word.” “But would it have stopped me?” His question caught me off guard. Would he have stopped? I think that he would have. No, I know that he would have. “Yes,” I said confidently. “It would have.” “All of a sudden, after all these years, I feel so out of control.” He said, as if it were something shameful, putting one shaking hand over his eyes. I was utterly at a loss for words. I had never seen Ethan lose control like this. He’s trained dozens of subs, had other subs, why was this so different? I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but it hurt that he was acting like he’d lost everything when he still had me. “Is it because Lexi left?” I asked him gently, stroking his hair. God, all I wanted was to comfort him; he looked like a lost little boy. “I don’t know. I wish I did. I’ve trained dozens of subs, all short term, and let them all go on to other Doms without another thought. But I want her here, where I can control her, and pleasure her, and keep her safe. Anything could happen to her in New York, so many variables. I have no control….” He finished in a whisper and put both hands in his hair, grasping handfuls of it. “You still have control over me, Master,” I said, trying to reengage him. It was obvious that Ethan needed to regain control, he needed to have control to feel in control, and I would give 151

him that power. I knew that I was taking a risk here, that he could really hurt me if he were to get any farther out of control. “And you said that you wanted to make me feel good.” I said with a slight smile. He looked up at me then, and the vulnerability in his face was staggering. Taking his hand, I pulled it up indicating that I wanted him to stand. Then I pulled the panel from the front of his pants with my teeth and pulled out his partially erect sex with my tongue. Nothing, I repeat, nothing, made a man feel powerful like a good blow job. Running my tongue along the underside of his hardening erection, he moaned low and deep in response, his fingers playing lightly in my hair. I knew he was thinking about how rough he’d been, and was trying to make up for it. I pushed my lips to the thick base, encasing him in my warm mouth. The swollen head hit the back of my throat, and I held myself there, sucking hard. “Yes….” he whimpered. “Oh God, yes…” I bobbed my head, taking him in and out of my mouth in long lurid strokes as I hollowed out my cheeks, trying to draw away the vulnerability, the fear from my Master. He was so strong, so disciplined; I just needed to help him find that again. My fingers went between his legs, stroking softly. My sucking and stroking teased his climax from him, his entire body tensing as he filled my mouth with a deep moan. Trembling slightly, he stepped back and pulled me to my feet gently. I felt both his hands on my face just before his lips met mine. I knew that he could taste his own semen in my mouth, but I kissed him fervently. Desperately, my erection rubbed against his hip as his tongue penetrated my eager mouth. When he finally pulled away, he placed two chaste kisses on my closed lips and then rested his forehead against mine. “Thank you,” he whispered. Then he looked at me, and I saw that mischievous glint back in his eye, so I smiled at him and laced my fingers behind my neck.

152

“No,” he said with a wicked smirk. “Hold your hands in front of you.” As I complied, he went to the wall and got two lengths of rope – one long, the other short, using the short length, he bound my hands in front of me. He tied the other to that binding and led me over to one of the wide tables where he helped me up onto the table onto widespread knees and threw the long rope over one of the ceiling beams. When he pulled it down sharply, my bound hands were lifted above my head. Then, he tied the rope to the table leg, holding me there before climbing up on the table in front of me. “You look so hot like this, helpless for me,” he said as he ran his hand down my chest, over my painfully hard cock, and between my legs. His hands went to my chest, and I felt him trace my stiff nipples with this thumbs. Moaning, I closed my eyes while he leaned forward, kissing my neck and my shoulders. Then I felt his lips at my ear, “I want you to ride me, my Jayden. Would you like that?” I moaned and nodded. He was letting me set my own pace, not wanting me to be afraid that he would lose control and hurt me again. Then, he turned around on the table, and lay down. I gasped when his head fell between my spread legs and I felt his hot breath along my inner thigh, over my balls, making me shiver violently. Then, he took me into his mouth and I whimpered, grasping at the rope binding my hands above my head to gently move my hips. His lips slid lasciviously up and down my swollen cock until I was panting with need. I looked down and movement caught my eye, he was slowly stroking himself, making himself hard so that I could be impaled upon him, the thought made me all the more aroused. Sliding in and out of his hot mouth, I felt his fingers probing me, applying the lubricant. He fucked me gently with his fingers, moving them in time with his lips. Then, as he pulled back, letting me fall from his mouth, I felt him applying some to my pulsing erection as well. He was going to stroke me while I rode him. I felt his hands move swiftly to my hips, grabbing them and gently, and he got into position beneath me, and 153

pulled me down toward him. One hand left my hip to grasp his erection and guide it into me. “Lower yourself onto me – take it slow,” he said gently, as I felt the head of his cock nudge against me. I closed my eyes used my leg muscles to bring my body into a deeper squat and impale myself onto him. Sliding into me slowly, I relaxed, taking him in. Then, using the rope above my head, and my legs, I lifted myself and sank down again. It felt so luridly decadent to ride him like this. Looking to his face, I saw him watching me, with a soft genuine smile on his face, he was enjoying my pleasure. His hands came up and he began to stroke me, in a different rhythm to how my hips were moving. My head dropped back and I almost growled with the feeling of it. Then his hips came up gently to meet mine, I slammed myself down onto him, it felt so fucking good. “Come for me, Jayden. Let yourself go, I want to feel it all over my chest.” He quickly stripped off his t-shirt as I moved my hips faster, and he gripped my cock harder as he stroked me. I could think of nothing but the pulsing need. A low keening whimper escaped my lips as I felt my orgasm start. It grew to a full blown wail as I exploded over his hands and chest. From his position below me, he thrust up into me as I hung from the rope binding my hands. He came just after I did; I could feel him filling me and see the expression of pure joy on his face as he did so. Letting his orgasm subside, he lay there for just a moment, and then he slid from under me, rubbing my legs, and then rubbing my arms and shoulders after he untied my arms. He leaned up and kissed my cheek gently. “Thank you for trusting me.” He helped me down off of the table, and I went to the front of the room to get dressed. As I did so, I heard his cell phone ring. “Hi, Lexi,” he answered, and then listened for just a moment. 154

“Yes, thanks for calling me back. I just…I need to talk….” he said with a soft sigh, as I left the room. * * * Six weeks. Six weeks of whispered conversations between Ethan and Lexi. Six weeks of the sick jealous feeling - either jealous of him because of her feelings for him or jealous of her because he talked to her like he wouldn’t talk to me. Six weeks of inane classes. Six weeks of safe unimaginative sessions with Master Ethan. Six weeks since my sister stopped calling and begging my forgiveness. Six weeks since I started to wonder what the hell happened to my life. I was in position in the room when Master Ethan entered. He walked over to the stereo, but didn’t turn it on; instead he opened up a panel and displayed a large monitor and computer system, which he turned it on, and within a few minutes I saw Lexi’s sweet face on the screen. She was sitting on a chair in a silk robe, her hair up in a ponytail. I didn’t meet her eye; she and I weren’t on the same side of the leash anymore. Lexi was his friend, his confidante, and I was just his toy – something he played with for his sexual amusement. I felt like nothing more than a pet to her, and the thought made my insides burn with a wicked kind of shame. “Jayden, come here,” Master Ethan said from in front of the monitor. I made my way to him quickly on my knees. I approached him with my back to the screen, not wanting to look at her, not yet. “Forehead to the floor,” he ordered. Looking at him with rage filled eyes; I put my forehead on the floor at his feet, my exposed buttocks to the screen. Walking behind me, he spread me open for their eyes. I could feel the tears welling as he pushed my legs apart and stroked between them, I felt so exposed. Then he ordered me to sit in the chair just in front of my head. I stood up, turned around and sat down, thankful for the modesty it afforded, but I still couldn’t bring myself to look at Lexi.

155

“Yes, that’s it,” he said, and I assumed he was talking to her. “I love how that gag looks.” My head shot up and I looked at the screen. Lexi had put a gag in her mouth and secured the small leather ties behind her head, and then she added nipple clamps to her breasts. Enraptured, I watched as she rolled her stiff nipples between her fingers, moaning softly as she applied the clamps. It was so erotic to watch. Then, before my disbelieving eyes, she bound her wrists together expertly, and threw a long rope up and over a ceiling beam. As she did so, I noticed that she was wearing the bracelet I had gotten her for graduation. I hoped that she wore it and thought of me. Around her neck was Ethan’s necklace. She pulled on the other part of the rope, trailing from the ceiling and her wrists rose. “Beautiful….Such a good girl….”Master Ethan said, approvingly as he started to undress. I watched in utter disbelief as he threw his clothing onto one of the tables and knelt at my feet. “Turn it on, Lexi,” he said into the webcam, and she pulled her wrists down to flip a switch on something that I noticed was sitting between her legs. Immediately, I saw the fake penis push up into her and then retract. Over and over the phallic machine fucked Lexi and she pulled hard on the ropes. She was moaning and writhing against the machine as the thing slammed into her. The look on her face was pure bliss. “Can you hear me Lexi?” Master Ethan asked and we saw her nod, noticing for the first time that she was wearing some kind of wireless headphones so she could hear us better. “Do you like your present? Does it feel good fucking you when I can’t be there to do it?” He hinted a smile as she moaned and nodded again. “Jayden, I want you to tell her when to come, and then you go right after her….” he said sternly, and then his soft warm mouth was on my desperately hard cock, licking and sucking me, moving his mouth back and forth over me. I tried not to cry 156

out, but failed. Lexi looked up, and then her head dropped back with a moan. God, it felt so fucking good. “Yes, Master Ethan,” I moaned as he sucked my entire length into his mouth. Lexi was writhing on the machine now, the chain to her clamps bouncing against her chest. I wanted to be the one making it bounce as she rode me, she was so beautiful, and she looked so damned hot just like this. More importantly, just this once, her orgasm was mine. I watched her thrash and moan as she was impaled on the machine. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked at me, imploringly, and I knew she was ready, but I felt like denying her, just for a few minutes. She whimpered and pushed her hips forward lewdly begging without words for her orgasm. Then, I felt Master Ethan start to use his teeth, and all thoughts of holding off went out the window as his hands lightly massaged my balls, and it was all I could do to get the words out. “Come for me, my Lexi,” I cried in a strained voice, my hips rising to meet Master Ethan’s mouth. My eyes locked on her as her orgasm overtook her, her head falling back as she cried out, coming swiftly and violently. “Turn it off,” I said quickly, just before I exploded in my own mind-bending orgasm. Hearing her completely lose control like that just lit a fire inside me. Grunting, my hips pushed up into his hot waiting mouth, filling it over and over as I felt him swallowing around me. I don’t think I had ever felt anything as good as his mouth on me, it was almost disconcerting. He licked once more around my softening cock and stood up smiling. He took my hand and pulled me up, trading places with me as he then sat in the chair. Immediately, I dropped to my knees into my position. “Jayden, you have done very well. I would like for you to make me come anyway you wish.” While he stroked my hair, and I thought about his instruction, he wanted Lexi to see what I would choose. Well, if it was a show he wanted, I would certainly provide that. I stood up and turned to face Lexi. 157

Speculatively, she watched me as I grabbed a bottle from the side table, bent at the waist, with Master Ethan behind me, and my well lubricated fingers into my rectum, moaning softly, partially for effect, partially because of the feeling. My buttocks were splayed wide for him, as he watched me touching myself. Then, I sat slowly onto his lap, feeling his rigid cock pressing against me. I moved down farther and he slid into me, leaning back until my head was on his shoulder. Turning my face to the side, I whimpered next to his ear and let my tongue draw lazy patterns on his earlobe and neck. He was panting by the time I sat back up. I ground my ass back against him, feeling him sliding in and out of me. “Fuck…That feels so good….” I moaned as I started to move faster. “Please… Please fuck me….” I rasped out as I rode him, knowing he loved it when I was vocal. Right now, I could say anything I wanted, and it felt wonderful to not have to hold back. Reaching down, I started stroking my hardening erection. “Oh, yeah… Oh, God.” I felt his hips start to move, his hands were on my hips now holding me as he thrust up into me. “Mmmmm….You’re gonna make me come…Fuck…Just like that.…” I cried as I felt my second orgasm approaching rapidly, and I was reduced to inarticulate sounds as his hips slammed into my ass. “God… Ethan….” I nearly yelled as I came hard over my hand and stomach. But, I didn’t slow my hips as I felt him start to tremble beneath me, his legs shaking, his breathing coming in wild gasps. Then he groaned, and held me hard around the waist as his orgasm overtook him, and I felt him spasm inside me as he filled me. He continued to hold me on his lap after he was spent. Pulling me back against him, I felt his lips press into the back of my shoulder. “That was beautiful, Jayden,” he murmured softly into my neck. I smiled; delighted that he was pleased with me.

158

Chapter 9 Over the next few months, we had fallen back into our comfortable arrangement even without Lexi. We still had webcam sessions with her, but for all intents and purposes, she was gone, and it wasn’t the same. Master Ethan and I became a Master and his sub rather than a Master and just one of his subs. Now that the responsibility was solely mine, I was more determined than ever now to fulfill his needs. I would not let him find fault, or be disappointed in me. This afternoon he had sent me a text message from work telling me that we weren’t having our normal Friday session tonight. I had been instantly dismayed, wondering if he had found some fault with me. So, with little to look forward to, I headed downstairs. I found him in the kitchen, trying to decide what to make for dinner, so I sat down at the table quietly and watched him in his fruitless search. Finally, he noticed me sitting there. “Good evening, Jayden.” I might have missed that his calm demeanor was a façade, but then I noticed that his hands were shaking. “Hello, Ethan,” I greeted, not knowing exactly what to say. Something was bothering him and I wanted to be there for him, 159

I only hoped he would open up to me. After a few minutes of awkward silence in which Ethan stared blankly out the back door, I decided to go for broke. “Hey, I’m going to head out and get a beer and some pizza – want to join me?” He looked at me as if he’d never seen me before. “I think a beer would be a good idea,” he answered, rather absently. “Let me grab my jacket.” As he left to get his coat, I thought briefly about calling Lexi about his quiet behavior, but there was no reason to worry her without knowing what the problem was, and I wanted to see if he’d talk to me first. Ethan and I hadn’t been out of the house together very often since I’d lived there, but when we did, he always drove. Tonight, he just ambled to my truck completely docile, without a hint of his usual confidence or arrogance, and waited for me to unlock it. On the way to the restaurant, Ethan was silent, looking out the passenger window with a vacant expression. However, I noticed that he continually toyed with a button on his jacket, seemingly unaware of it. The breeze from his open window ruffled his hair, but his face was just … empty. I couldn’t begin to fathom what could be wrong. Pulling out of his reverie a bit when we reached our destination, he sat up straighter, composing his clothes and his expression, almost like he was trying to become a different person, but his eyes gave him away; they were wide and almost fearful as we approached the door. I gave the hostess a fifty dollar bill to seat us in a back booth as I didn’t want him to have to be around too many people. Maybe, if we were isolated, he would open up to me. “Hi, can we get two shots of your top shelf Tequila, two drafts, and a large sausage and mushroom pizza?” I said to the server, looking up to Ethan who nodded. I had decided to wait until he had some alcohol in him before initiating conversation. His eyes darted around the room, as if he was nervous, while we waited for the server to return with our drinks. Finally, we had our shots and beers. Ethan didn’t seem like a shot and beer kind of guy – more like expensive wine and scotch, but he downed the shot and chased it with half of the beer. 160

“What happened, Ethan?” I encouraged gently, not wanting to give him a chance to decline if I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. Pushing him into it a little seemed to be the best course of action. There was something bothering him, and it was obvious that he needed to work through it. Sighing, he looked around again, almost as if he were looking for a way out, then he looked at me. “I lost a patient.” Nodding, I waited, and he looked down at the table, studying it before continuing. “Apparently, it was some kind of construction accident. He was pretty far out, but had they gotten him to me faster I might have been able to save him.” He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “But I couldn’t.’ His eyes met mine as he continued in a whisper. “The worst part was his wife. She looked just like Lexi, and after I told her that he was gone, she screamed at me begging me to help him. They apparently have an infant son, because she just kept saying that he would need his daddy.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you.” I sympathized. Just then, the server came back with our pizza and we ate in silence. He had just opened up to me for the first time ever, and I had no idea how to help him, all I could really do was to be there for him. The death at the hospital certainly wasn’t his fault, and he seemed to recognize that fact, it was the notification that seemed to have really shaken him up. Once again, he was quiet in the truck on the drive home. I was sure his thoughts were occupied by the woman and her son; it can’t be an easy thing to tell someone that their loved one is gone. I felt a pang in my chest as I thought of Kimberly. What would I do if someone like Ethan had to tell me that Kimberly was dead? Or Lexi? Or…or Ethan? What would my reaction be? Anger? Screaming? Of course it wouldn’t be the doctor’s fault; some injuries, some illnesses just weren’t fixable. I pulled into the drive, and then we walked up to the house side by side. I stopped to let him through the door first. After I turned from 161

closing the door, I looked up to see Ethan standing in the middle of the foyer looking at me. I didn’t speak, I just looked back. The force of his lips crashing into mine was unnerving. His hands went to my hair, and I moaned as his body came into contact with mine. I knew I should have stopped, he was upset, but it seemed to be something that he needed, and I remembered reading once that when dealing with death, once typical response was arousal. Sex can make you feel alive, it can be a powerful release of tension and emotion, and the body gives signals as to what it needs. Ethan was looking for that release, and I was sure as hell going to give it to him. For the first time since we’d known each other, he’d opened up to me – I would deny him nothing. We made our way blindly to the living room couch. I didn’t want to risk breaking this connection with him to go any farther. Tentatively, I reached up to stroke his face, as he had done with me countless times, but in that moment outside of the comfort zone of the room, I felt shy and vulnerable. He didn’t seem to be the Master just now, he was Ethan, and I didn’t know how I felt about that. Our sexual relationship was based on submission, not physical attraction, or at least it was for me. If I went to him, without the cloak of that submission, how would that change my own perception of my sexuality? In that moment he ground his hips into mine, and I decided to worry about it later, his needs came first. He pulled me down with him as he sat on the couch, but I knelt in front of him instead, smiling shyly as I unbuttoned his pants. Smiling back, he lifted his hips so that I could slide them down. They only made it to mid-thigh when I leaned forward and took his erection into my mouth. He moaned and sank back into the cushions of the couch, one hand in my hair. I took my time with him, running my tongue slowly around the head of his swollen cock; I felt the lines, ridges, and indentations. The gentle use of my teeth elicited a deep groan and a soft pulling of my hair, spurring me on even more. My tongue slid slowly 162

along the vein running underside the length of his erection. For the most part, the skin there was smooth and I ran the point of my tongue over it while he sucked in a sharp breath. “Please, Jayden….” I looked up to see that his eyes were closed, appearing to be concentrating on the sensations. I closed my lips around him and moved my head slowly, my lips leisurely causing the friction he craved as they slid from the head of his erection down to the base, back and forth my head bobbed, rubbing my lips desperately over his skin. My tongue pressed against him wherever I could reach, increasing the contact. On each downward motion, I would stop, feeling him nudging my throat only to resume again seconds later. His vocalizations went from deep breathing, to soft moans, to cries and his hips began to move up into my face, matching my own rhythm, and the fact that I could turn him on like this made me so hard. As I hollowed my cheeks, sucking him hard, his hips stopped in one fierce jerk. His entire length twitched in my mouth and then he came, I felt his hot semen filling my mouth, and I swallowed again and again. After I ran my tongue over him again gently, he collapsed back onto the couch, resting his head on the back, his eyes were closed. He was breathing deeply, and I noticed that his hand was still resting in my hair. I took it in mine, and set it on his leg as I stood up. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Do you want….” He started, but I shook my head. “This was about you. But…Master….” “Yes, Jayden?” “May I find my own…release?” I asked timidly, really fucking hoping he’d say yes. He chuckled and nodded, and I made my way to the stairs. Before I went up, I turned to look at him, still sitting in the same position, his pants around his midthigh. The one noticeable difference was that his face looked peaceful, and that pleased me. 163

Once I was in my room, I stripped down quickly and lay on my bed, closing my eyes, letting my mind drift. Lexi above me beautifully bound, riding me while Ethan took her from behind… My legs bound in the air while Ethan fucked me that first time… Ethan and Lexi both working me with their mouths on me while I was bound… Then a new image came into my mind, not one from my memory, rather just utter masturbatory fantasy. Lexi lying beneath Ethan with her legs over his shoulders, as he thrust deeply into her, her breasts bounding with the movement. Me behind Ethan, fucking him as he took her. God, he was so tight, so hot… I don’t know why all of my fantasies seemed to entail fucking Ethan. It probably had something to do with wanting something I couldn’t have, but the fantasy worked. My hips rose subtly to meet my hand, and I turned my head to the side, into the pillow to mask my whimpers as my orgasm approached. God, I was so fucking close. Then I took Lexi out of the equation, and it was just me taking Ethan. I imagined every grunt, every moan he would make; sounds I had heard come from him as he fucked me. When I remembered the sound of his voice as he moaned ‘Please Jayden’ downstairs, my orgasm erupted from me, hitting my stomach as I allowed myself a deep cry into the pillow. While I lay catching my breath, I heard a sound from the hallway, like someone moving away from my door. Ethan listened to me pleasuring myself – the thought made me sigh. * * * 164

Ethan never mentioned what happened on the couch in the following weeks. During our subsequent sessions, he continued to be affectionate, but that was just his personality. His affectionate nature made me wonder how he got into this lifestyle in the first place. The phrase “bondage and domination” had always brought up images of leather clad guys beating the hell out of people, making them lick their shoes, until I actually got into it. What I found was a whole different world entirely. It was a place where I could let myself go, not worrying about family, grades, or finances. Pleasing my Master was my only concern. I would only have to strive to be what he wants me to be. It made me feel…well…free. That week Master Ethan had been hinting at something important for our session, and I had to admit, I had no idea what it could be. As I got into the shower to get ready for our session, I got hard thinking about the possibilities. New equipment? New sub? The possibilities garnered by those two questions alone were nearly limitless. I stroked myself absently a few times with my soapy hands thinking about it, but then stopped abruptly not wanting to disobey my Master by releasing without permission. Once I was dry, I threw my towel into the hamper in the bathroom and walked down the hall. It had become easy, almost welcomed, to walk down the hall nude to the room. How far I had come since he first took me on as his sub. Looking around the room, I didn’t notice anything new, so it must not be equipment. Smiling, I knelt on the hardwood floor, knees spread, hands clasped behind my neck, waiting for my Master, who did not keep me waiting long. My gaze never left the floor as he entered and started the music. I’m pretty sure that soft melody would be permanently ingrained in my memory now; it normally came on first – before I was distracted by other things. Over at the wall, he pulled down two spreader bars, and four padded cuffs. Maybe he did have a new sub? I wasn’t 165

sure how I felt about that – excited, a perhaps little jealous. He was now standing beneath the suspension pulley. “Come here, my Jayden.” A small smile graced his perfect features as I made my way over to him on my hands and knees. Then, he told me to stand, and he attached the cuffs to my wrists and ankles. Next, he attached one bar to the cuffs on my ankles and the other to my wrists as they were held in front of me. Well, that clearly precluded my idea of another sub. Lifting my arms, he attached the bar to a complicated looking device on the pulley. I was securely bound there, open and waiting for him. Once again, he made his way to the back wall, studying it for a moment, and I didn’t know if his hesitation was due to indecision, or merely to increase my anticipation. Finally, he picked up a flogger and turned around. It wasn’t just any flogger, it was the horsehair flogger, and my cock got infinitely harder. Before me, he stood, grasping my chin in his strong hand to make me look at him. “Jayden, do you know what today is?” he asked in a conversational tone. What? The day? The date? Was it something significant? It wasn’t my birthday, or his, or even Lexi’s. I stared hopelessly into his eyes knowing that I wasn’t going to have the right answer. “No, Master, I do not,” I said softly, and he smiled. “I am disappointed, Jayden.” He slowly ran the horsehair over my chest, and my nipples hardened painfully. Tracing it over my left shoulder, he started to run it down my back and over my buttocks. “I’m sorry, Master,” I breathed, trying to concentrate on the conversation with the soft whispers of the flogger on the backs of my thighs. I closed my eyes. Then, without warning, he snapped the horsehair onto my thigh. The stinging sensation was intense, and I nearly cried out from it.

166

“One year ago today, Jayden, you became my sub,” he said in my ear, and I shivered again as his warm breath washed across my neck. “I thought that a milestone worth celebrating, don’t you agree?” “Yes, Master Ethan.” I was in complete disbelief that he would want to commemorate the occasion. Clearly our agreement was as important to him as it was to me. It disturbed me that I hadn’t remembered, but of course he was correct. The flogger came down again, this time on the back of my other thigh. I let my head fall back as I hissed. Fuck, that stung, almost as much as it turned me on. He continued to strike my tender skin with the flogger, and I felt the sting across my buttocks – repeatedly as he monitored the steadily reddening of my skin. Whipping the fronts of my thighs as well, he targeted his strikes very carefully. Lightly, he whipped my back and my chest, just enough to leave the sensation but not enough to mark my skin. I was panting by the time he was through. “I love to watch your skin change colors when I whip you, my Jayden. It rivals that of the leaves in the fall,” he murmured into the tender skin at the back of my neck, and then he ran his lips lightly over my shoulder blade. Walking over to the lever, he lowered my arms, removing the connection from the bar to the pulley he helped me to lie on the floor. Then, he attached the spreader bar at my ankles to the pulley. My breath caught in my throat as he moved back to the lever and my legs began to rise. I was hoisted upside down, swinging slightly, my arms still bound to the second bar which was dangling uselessly over my head. The strain in my ankles was manageable because of the thick padding of the cuffs. He did not stop until my feet were near the ceiling. It was disorienting being bound this way; I could feel the blood rushing to my head When he stood in front of me, I realized with a start why he had stopped the pulley here. My face was directly in line with the crotch of his leather pants, which he opened it, sliding himself into my mouth. I tried hard to focus on nothing but pleasing him, but my battle was lost when I felt his mouth 167

surrounding my own formidable erection. On my buttocks, I felt his hands, pulling me closer to him as his lips bobbed back and forth, making me moan around him. This was just surreal, or maybe it was the dizziness starting to set in from being upside down, and I lost myself in the sensation. His mouth left me just long enough for him to tell me to orgasm when I was ready, and I nearly came at his words. His hips moved very gently as he pushed in and out of my mouth, and I got the impression that he didn’t want to finish this way, that he just wanted me to finish this way. In all honestly, it was difficult to form any impressions in this position – all I could do was feel. I felt the lightheadedness, his teeth lightly grazing my cock, his hands grasping my buttocks – spreading me open, and the light sway as he pushed my suspended body with each small thrust of his hips. As his fingers slid gently into my ass, I felt the pressure building. All I could process in that moment was how desperately I wanted to come. I tried to move my hips, but couldn’t get the leverage to do so, understanding my predicament; he sucked harder, moving his head faster. My cry was muffled by his cock in my mouth, but it erupted from me as I came nonetheless. As he stopped the movement of his hips, I shuddered violently and he swallowed around me. The high of my orgasm was multiplied by the almost euphoric feeling of lightheadedness from being upside down. I came so hard I wondered if it would ever subside. Then, he was gone, and I felt myself being lowered until my back came to rest on the ground. He let me rest there for several minutes, regaining my equilibrium again while he went to collect a few other things. I felt the breeze from the open window graze the light sheen of sweat covering my body. I closed my eyes, listening to him pulling something out of a drawer, and then his graceful footfalls as he returned to where I lay. Having my eyes closed was helping the slight dizzy feeling, and when I opened them again I saw him standing above me. 168

“Are you ready to continue, Jayden?” He pushed back my hair from my forehead, and I nodded as he smiled down at me. Taking the spreader bar attached to my wrists, he attached it to the pulley alongside of the spreader bar with my ankles. Then, I was bent – my wrists and ankles bound nearly together. I didn’t see as he made his way to the lever, but I felt it as I was once again lifted into the air, my body swaying slightly as I was lifted towards the ceiling. Soon, my slow ascent stopped and I hung – naked and vulnerable, waiting for his will. Swiftly and clinically, he spread lubricant inside of me with his fingers and inserted a plug, larger than others he’d used, and I moaned at the sensation. Then, he was gone again. I couldn’t see him from the position I was in, but I heard him moving around in the room. It sounded like he was clearing things away. Finally, he came into my line of vision to see him standing at the window, looking out over the grounds, slowly stroking himself below the sill where no one would see. Then it came to me, he was prolonging my torment, but he didn’t want to leave the room for the sake of safety. After what seemed like an eternity, he came over and deftly began to slide the plug in and out. It was all I could do to keep still because it wasn’t the fucking plug I wanted, and he knew it. He chuckled as I tried fruitlessly to move my hips. Moving around until he was standing near my head, he slowly ran the head of his swollen cock over my lips. “Is this what you want?” “Yes Master, please….” I kissed the skin pressed against my lips reverently. Then it was gone, and he had moved once again. I looked around, but then he pressed his erection against my well lubricated anus. The muscles in my thighs clenched, and I would have pushed my hips into him if I could, but bound as I was, that was just not possible. He groaned softly as he entered me, making my cock twitch and harden again, my body’s response to him is astounding. I let my head fall back, 169

and I closed my eyes while I felt myself being stretched to accommodate him. An almost desperate moan escaped my lips, and at the same time that I felt his body press against mine, I felt his hands grasping my hips. He was so deep. Then, I was swinging. As his hips moved, he used his hands to increase my momentum slightly. I felt weightless, and out of control as he thrust into me. My moans and whimpers were coming completely on instinct, and were timed perfectly with his rhythm, but when his hands begin to stroke me, they increased in volume and intensity. I could hear him too, his grunts, and pants as he took me, making the experience that much more erotic. His voice became lower, and hoarser, as his excitement grew. “Come for me, Jayden.” I focused entirely on his hands stroking me, and how he felt as he fucked me. Soon, I could feel myself jerking in his hands as I came over my stomach, crying out not only his title, but his name. He was the one that made me feel like this, he owned me, maybe not in the literal sense, but in every other sense that mattered. Following quickly, he pulled me hard against him as he filled me. His voice was like music as he cried my name. “Happy anniversary, Jayden.”

170

Chapter 10 It wasn’t like Lexi to be late for our webcam times. We were only able to have them about once a month, so they had become very special to all of us. Sometimes we just talked, sometimes we played around. We had planned on having a full blown session, and I knew Lexi would be anxious for that. “Well, maybe she got held up in class. We can go ahead upstairs and start, I’ll take my cell ph…” he started, but was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. It wasn’t Lexi’s ringtone. He looked at it and frowned before opening it. “Hello?” he asked hesitantly into the phone. “Yes, this is Ethan Bryant.” His brow furrowed farther as he listened. “Yes, I know her. Where did you say you were calling from?” He paled – noticeably. “Is she alright?” he demanded, and then listened again. All of a sudden, he blanched. “Oh, God…Her vitals?” He listened again, his face clouded with pain. Then he pulled his wallet out

171

of his pocket and handed me a business card, holding the phone away from his face as he listened. “Call her. Tell her we want to be on a plane to New York within the hour, I don’t care how she does it,“ he whispered and then back into the phone he said, “Is she conscious?” Grabbing my own cell phone, I walked away from him, dialing the number on the card, not thinking about what Ethan was talking about. My Lexi was hurt. The woman that answered gave me a hard time until I told her I was calling for Ethan, and then she became suspiciously subservient and helpful. The best she could do was tickets waiting for us at the counter for a plane that took off in seventy-five minutes. I grabbed our jackets as he ran into the living room where I stood. He put a bunch of papers into a backpack, and I threw his jacket to him. He put in on as we headed for the door. “What happened?” I asked, my voice shaking. “She’s been….” His voice was just above a whisper, and he closed his eyes. “She’s been assaulted.” I saw the pain there as he opened them again, and I knew it was reflected in my own. I could wait to find out how she was; we needed to get to the airport, to get to Lexi, right now. She was all alone, injured and scared. I just wanted to hold her, take away her pain. The plane ride to New York was excruciating. We sat in first class just willing the plane to go faster. Ethan called the hospital for an update while we were in the air, and ordered them to put her in a private room. Thankfully, we didn’t have any delays, and with no luggage we were able to go straight out the doors and into a cab. After Ethan told the driver which hospital, we settled back in for the ride. Once we neared, Ethan called the hospital again to find out what room she was in, and after throwing a hundred dollar bill at the cabbie, we hit the doors at a dead run. Using the guides on the walls, we finally found her room. A nurse was just coming out of it, and stopped us before we could go in. “Are you family?” she asked in a brusque tone. 172

“No, she doesn’t have any family. I’m her emergency contact and medical proxy; I have paperwork in my possession to that effect. My name is Dr. Ethan Bryant,” he said with authority, and she moved aside to let him pass. Ethan was Lexi’s medical proxy? I guess that only made since sense since they were close and he was a doctor. The idea of her Dom as her emergency contact made my heart ache, she must feel so alone. We entered the room quietly, and saw Lexi sleeping. “I’ve sedated her,” the nurse said quietly. “She was having nightmares…. bad ones, but she needed to rest.” “We won’t bother her; we just want to stay with her so that she feels safe,” I said, walking over to the bed, the tears flowing freely down my cheeks as I saw the bruising on her sweet face, and the obvious finger marks on her arms. She had a heart monitor and IV attached, I presumed for pain medication. Pain. If I ever find the guy that did this to her, he will have a new appreciation for the word. I pulled a chair up quietly, and sat by her bedside holding her hand. She squeezed mine lightly, and her face relaxed just a little. It seemed that she could feel that someone that loved her was there to help. We had been sitting by her bedside for hours, each of us holding one of her hands when I happened to look up at Ethan, startled to see the tears streaming down his face. He never showed his emotions, the only time I had ever seen it was the kiss at the airport when Lexi was leaving for New York. I couldn’t say why, but it frightened me. “Ethan, are you alright?” I asked in a low, hushed voice. I didn’t want to wake up Lexi, and I didn’t really want to startle him either. He looked at me, and the pain on his face was so clear. “She’s my best friend. I love her so much, and I let this happen to her,” he whispered, looking at their entwined fingers. I knew he was a bit of a control freak, well, okay more than a bit, but he couldn’t possibly think he could control events that happened on the other side of the country? 173

“Ethan, you didn’t let anything happen to Lexi. It wasn’t anything you could control.” I told him honestly, and pure unadulterated rage filled his face. Instinctively, I backed up a little, until that moment, I had never once been afraid of Ethan. “Control. That’s what my whole fucking life is about, the fact that I have no control.” Abruptly, he stood up and turned to the window behind him. I was confused, he controlled everything in his life so closely, so carefully, and he was always in control. I watched his tense posture as he stared out of the window. After several long minutes, his shoulders sagged, almost in defeat. “Do you remember your father recognizing me at your graduation?” he asked softly, his voice full of pain. Of course I did, who wouldn’t remember your Dom knowing your dad? “He didn’t recognize me because we’d met. He recognized me because he had seen me on television. I changed my name when I moved to Washington for college. When I lived in Chicago, my name was Ethan Hughes.” Even though that name had sounded vaguely familiar, I couldn’t place it. He turned back to look out the window. “When I was eight years old, I was taken on my way home from school,” he began, still staring out the rain coated window. “Most kids that I went to school with were picked up and dropped off by nannies and chauffeurs. We only lived two blocks away, and my mom thought it was a good experience for me to walk. I liked the fact that I was one of the only kids that walked; it was like I was asserting my independence. One day, I deviated from my normal route because I wanted to walk by the park. I remember having to hurry because my mom would kill me if she had found out.” He smiled, no doubt thinking of his mother. “A dark sedan pulled over, and a guy rolled down the window. He told me that my mom knew I was off my regular path and he was to bring me home. My parents had a lot of money, and I didn’t even know everyone that worked for them. 174

It never occurred to me to question him. I got into the car, and didn’t see my home again for eight very long years.” The look of hatred that crossed his face was staggering. “My parents would have paid any sum of money to get me back. They weren’t like my friends’ parents; they didn’t leave me to nannies or the help. My dad played catch with me in our large yard, my mom taught me to play piano. We were a close and happy family. But this guy wasn’t after… money.” The venom returned to his voice in full force. Staring at him, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Even though I had been a kid then, I remembered the story of him being found, it was all over the news, my mom used to use that story to scare me into not talking to strangers. Ethan had been taken not too far from where I grew up. “When I was sixteen, he wanted me to help him take another young boy. I was too old for him; he wanted someone younger.” His voice was laced with revulsion. “I told him that I would. I knew that was my way out, but there was no way I was going to let someone else suffer in my place. When I got out of the car to grab the boy, I took his hand and told him to run. We ran up to the school and he told his teacher what was happening. They called the police, who called my parents.” He finished in a whisper. “I had been so happy to see them, but then they got all the facts about my abduction. My father wouldn’t look at me. I was someone to be ashamed of, broken, tainted. My mother took me to dozens of shrinks trying to fix me. But therapy wasn’t a magic pill, they don’t fix you. I just had to find a way to cope, a way to survive. I finally found it.” That explained everything. Everything I ever wondered about with regards to Ethan. “I still have problems around people, especially large groups. I’m always afraid someone is going to know who I am – like your father. I’m also afraid he’ll find me again, even though I know he’s in prison. I took the chance because, well…” He looked to me, and his face softened. “You and Lexi are the only friends I’ve ever had. I’ve had a Mistress, I’ve had subs, 175

I’ve had colleagues, I’ve never had friends – people that I really let see me. You can’t control friends. You can give up control to your Mistress, you can accept control from subs, but friends, I’m finding, are a thoroughly uncontrolled quantity.” He chuckled without humor. “You two opened something in me that I didn’t even know was still there. Something I didn’t know if I ever wanted to find. You accepted me for who I am, you never once tried to ‘fix’ me. You don’t know what that means to me.” His eyes met mine. “The day of graduation, that’s why I had you both fitted with something I could control. I had to be able to control something or I wouldn’t have made it – not around all of those people,” he said with a sigh. “I don’t understand something, Ethan. Why me? I would think that…well, another guy….” I stammered unable to finish. Given his history, I would think that sex with another guy would be the last thing on earth he’d want. “Honestly, I don’t know – even now, I just don’t know. When you walked up my sidewalk that very first day just to look at the house, I was drawn to you. I’d never been drawn to anyone like that before. At first, I don’t think I consciously thought of you as a sub, just as someone I found engaging. I liked being around you, but I didn’t want you to know about my lifestyle. I didn’t want you to start looking at me differently. Then, you went into the room. The idea of having you as a sub intrigued; and yet repulsed me. I wanted a male sub, what the hell did that say about me? In my agreement with Nicole, I had specified no men. She didn’t like it, but she agreed. Now, I was taking one on, and I didn’t know how to deal with that. That’s why I was so hard on you for your first session; why I gave you the ultimatum. Half of me was so turned on by you – the other half begged you to use the safe word and never come back.” “Everything about you drew me in – your face, your voice, even the scent of that body wash that you use. I have a hard time controlling myself around you. I don’t generally kiss my 176

subs; it’s too intimate to me. I don’t want intimacy, I want control. But, with you…I…I just can’t help myself. I want that intimacy with you, and that scares the hell out of me. It makes me wonder if maybe I gave some indication that I wanted what he did to me. It makes me look back to see if I fought hard enough against him. I’ve hated myself practically my entire life for something that I’m now willingly doing, wanting to do – a sexual relationship with another man.” “When Lexi left, and we were alone – I didn’t know what that would mean for us. I panicked and I lost control – I did something that I will always regret, because I know what that feels like. I never thought I could do that to someone else. It showed me what I am capable of.” He looked down, and I just wanted to walk around the bed and hold him, tell him that it didn’t matter, that I was still his friend, and his sub. Then, something occurred to me. “Lexi knows, doesn’t she?” I asked softly and he nodded. “Lexi is the consummate bookworm,” he said with a low chuckle. “When her roommate told her that I had agreed to meet with her, she researched everything she could about me. She found out that I had changed my name. She didn’t like that, so she Googled ‘Ethan Hughes’ and found out what had happened. It came up in the interview, but not once did she shy away from me because of it. I’ve loved her ever since. I’ve wished for years I could have something like a normal relationship with her. I’m not capable of that kind of relationship; the emotions are just too strong. There are too many things that I cannot control, and I cannot bear to lose her all together. She has helped me so much to start to regain the person I was before my abduction.” He smiled, and finally it looked like a relaxed peaceful smile. “The first time I kissed her and told her that I loved her, she told me that she was proud of me. She was proud that I was able to express my feelings to her like that.” He looked down, grinning. 177

“At the airport.” I said softly, it wasn’t a question, knowing that was the first time he’d kissed her. I remember the pain tearing at me when he told her that he loved her and she whispered something back. At the time, I thought she was telling him of her love, now I know she wasn’t. Instead, she told him she was proud of him for being able to relax the control just enough to let his emotions show through. We kept talking like that until sunrise, every once in a while he’d stop to check her breathing or heart rate, or I would comfort her as she got restless. Just after sunrise another nurse came in to check her. “Dr. Bryant?” “I’m Dr. Bryant,” he replied, still holding Lexi’s hand. “I have Miss Morgan’s test results here for you, doctor.” Handing him a manila envelope, he opened it quickly and scanned the contents. Closing his eyes, he sighed, sounding relieved. I looked at him curiously, but he handed the envelope back to the nurse and waited for her to leave before he spoke. “Her rape kit shows no actual penetration. According to her intake sheet, the assault was stopped by a few football players who happened to walk by. The guy was,” he closed his eyes, and then opened them again slowly, “the guy was on top of her and her clothing had been torn off, so they weren’t sure what they would find during their examination. She wouldn’t talk to them, but it looks like he was stopped before he got that far.” I nodded, relieved that she wouldn’t have that trauma, because judging by her dreams, the attempt was traumatic enough. I reached up and stroked her cheek. “It’s okay darlin’, we’re here. We love you, and we’re going to take care of you.” Leaning over, I kissed her forehead gently. She sighed, and her eyes opened. “Jayden….”she said and smiled. “Hey, sweetheart,” I said, brushing the hair from her forehead. “It’s okay now. We’re here.” 178

“Where’s Ethan?” He stepped forward taking her hand again. “I’m right here, Lexi. Do you know where you are?” Ethan asked her, and she nodded, slowly, but with a clear indication that she did in fact understand, then he looked to me and I sighed. “Lexi?” I asked gently, “Do you know why you’re here?” Her eyes snapped away from mine and she stared at the ceiling, her face clouding over, and I could see the tears welling, threatening to spill. As I stroked the back of her hand, she nodded, causing a tear to fall. “It’s alright honey, it’s okay – you’re safe. We are going to take care of you.” I promised while Ethan squeezed her other hand in agreement. We sat in silence for several long minutes. Then Ethan said, “Jayden, I’m going to call around and try to find us a hotel.” “No!” Lexi cried, and looked at me with wide fearful eyes. “I mean, you guys could stay with me….” Her voice was weak, and scared. “I’m sure I’ll be getting out of here today.” She looked to Ethan for confirmation and he nodded. Then her voice became a little louder like she was trying to be brave. “And there’s no reason for you to stay at a hotel. I have a big bed and a fold-out couch.” Her eyes were pleading; it was evident that she didn’t want to be alone right now. I looked up at Ethan and he sighed. “We’ll stay with you, darlin’.” She relaxed visibly as Ethan and I continued to hold her hands. *

* *

“She’s asleep, finally.” I whispered to Ethan as I closed Lexi’s bedroom door. It had taken nearly an hour of holding and soothing Lexi to get her to sleep. “I know she’s glad to be home, but I think we should talk to her about moving in with us for a while.” 179

“I’ve already arranged for movers for her apartment. I was going to go to the college today to discuss a leave for her. I’m also going to set up scholarships for the guys that saved her. It’s the least I can do for them,” he said a little distracted as he went through his Blackberry. “Ethan,” I said sternly and he looked up. “You can’t move her without talking to her about it first. She may want to stay in New York.” “Of course she won’t want to stay in New York. She needs to be near us where we can protect her, watch over her.” Wringing his hands now, the Blackberry forgotten his face was tense. “We still need to talk to her about what she wants,” I said gently. Ethan was so out of his element, his fierce need to control everything in his life was tested in the worst way, and he wants to take charge, and fix what was wrong. The problem was, he couldn’t fix it. The only thing that was going to help Lexi was time, and our support, she had her control taken in the worst possible way, she needed to find that again – not be managed by Ethan. “I’m going for a walk,” he said abruptly and left the apartment. Sighing, I heard Lexi calling out in her sleep. When I got to her, she was sitting bolt upright in bed, wiping the tears from her face. Kicking off my shoes, I crawled into the bed next to her and held my arms open for her to scramble into them. As I folded her into my embrace, I felt her shaking with silent sobs. I kissed the top of her head, and cradled her as she cried. When I awoke a few hours later, Lexi wasn’t in bed with me, but I heard her voice from somewhere nearby, it sounded like she was upset. “Ethan, you’re not my father, or my husband. You can’t make decisions for me.” Her voice trembled and I could tell she was trying to keep calm.

180

“You are all alone here. You aren’t safe. Please Lexi,” Ethan replied, and I could tell that he was just as upset. “I only have two more semesters. I worked so hard to be able to graduate early, and I’m not going to mess that up. I’m not letting that guy run me out of the life I’ve built here. They caught him, it’s over,” she finished quietly. That morning she had gotten the call informing her that the guy had been caught and identified by the good Samaritans. Apparently, they had beaten him pretty badly before he ran, and he was picked up at a local hospital. “You can finish anywhere, Lexi. Please….” He begged, and then sighed. She must have shaken her head. A minute later, I heard a door slam and Lexi returned to the bedroom. Seeing I was awake, she lay down on the bed with her head on my stomach and I ran my fingers through her hair. “You think I should move back too, don’t you?” She took a deep shaking breath and blew it out. I knew she was frustrated, and scared, with the current situation. “I would be lying if I said I didn’t want you to move back. But as you said, you only have one more year. If you want to stay, it would probably be better for you. But it kills me to see you out here alone and scared, Lexi.” I stroked her face gently and she leaned in to my palm. “You need to do what’s best for Lexi, not what’s best for Jayden or Ethan. Even if he would throw you over his shoulder and get on a plane if he thought he could keep you in Washington.” She giggled at the thought. “Thanks, Jayden,” she said after a minute and reached over to take my other hand. We lay like that for nearly half an hour, not speaking, just holding hands, content in being close. Then we heard the front door open and close again, but it was a few minutes before Ethan joined us in the bedroom, standing in the doorway, leaning against the jam. His hair was disheveled and his hands were shoved in his pockets, he looked at the floor for several minutes and then, without looking up, said, “I’m sorry, Lexi.” 181

“I know. I also know that it’s because you care about me.” She got off the bed, went to him and wrapped her arms around his waist as he rested his cheek against her hair. They stayed like that for several minutes, and I found that rather than it making me jealous or angry, it comforted me. “Let’s stay in and do something, I’m not really up to going out yet.” “Okay, how about if I make a beer run and pick up a pizza?” I suggested, and Lexi nodded enthusiastically. Ethan shrugged, and Lexi stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek, which he returned with his own crooked smile. I threw on my shoes and followed the instructions Lexi had given me, and an hour later I had a six-pack of bottles and a large New York style pizza. Coming out of the elevator into the hall for Lexi’s apartment, I heard their voices as I was about to knock. “It’s been over a year now, isn’t that time enough?” Lexi asked in a loud, but calm voice. “Maybe,” Ethan admitted. “And I have to say that it would make me more comfortable. Fine, I’ll talk to him about it when we get back.” I knocked loudly, and Ethan opened the door, taking the beer from me, and we got things ready at the kitchen table. “So, what to do tonight….” I started, smiling at Lexi. “video games?” I knew that Lexi was an avid gamer and had a veritable arsenal of games and gaming systems. I was surprised when she shook her head. “Movie?” Ethan suggested, and Lexi and I both shrugged. “Board games?” Lexi asked, looking over my shoulder. I turned and saw a stack of them on top of the bookcase in the living room. “I haven’t had a chance to break them out since I’ve been here.” “Yeah, that sounds cool,” I said, and Ethan nodded. We finished eating and put things away before Lexi headed off to grab the games. She asked us what we wanted to play, neither of us cared – whatever made her happy. A few minutes later, 182

she came back with a long flat box. When she set it down on the table, I had to laugh. “Clue?” I asked, thinking she would have come back with a more recent offering; she bought new games every year even though she lived alone and rarely had anyone to play with. It had been years since I’d played Clue. “I thought a mental challenge would give me an advantage,” she replied with a wicked smirk. “Ohhhh…Game on, little girl,” I said, and she giggled while Ethan watched our exchange with amusement as he wiped down the table. Then, we got things set up, and the battle commenced. “Colonel Mustard did it with the rope in the ballroom!” Lexi cried in happy excitement, and grabbed the envelope. Ethan and I both sighed; she had now beaten us three games in a row. I would have let her win just to see that look of sheer joy on her face, but as it was, that wasn’t necessary. When she flipped the cards from the envelope onto the board, it was indeed as she had predicted. I thought she was going to do the happy Snoopy dance right there in the kitchen, but she contained herself. “Okay, how about that movie?” Ethan asked with an amused grin as he watched Lexi’s exuberance over beating us yet again. “Getting my ass kicked repeatedly is becoming a little tedious.” “Okay, losers clean up the board.” She smirked and walked out of the kitchen to set up the DVD player. I caught Ethan’s smile, it was nice just spending time with Lexi, nice she could feel safe with us, nice being together again. Grabbing the rest of the beer, we headed into the living room where Lexi was picking out a movie, naming off a few before finally deciding on one. I sat at one end of the couch, Ethan sat at the other. Instead of sitting in the middle, Lexi lay down, putting her head in Ethan’s lap and her feet in mine. I spent the next two hours stroking the exposed skin above her socks, absentmindedly 183

showing her tender affection, while Ethan spent his time stroking her hair. Neither of us minded that ten minutes or so into the movie, Lexi had fallen into a quiet sleep. I carried her into her room while Ethan took the fold out couch. She lay in my arms all night, and I silently thanked God for her, and I didn’t want to think about leaving at the end of the week. It felt like I had just gotten my Lexi back. She must have felt the same way, because for the first time since her ordeal, she slept peacefully. * * * “You need to get out of the apartment, honey, it’s been days.” I told Lexi gently as we made breakfast together, trying not to wake Ethan. Lexi, Ethan, and I had been hanging out, and ordering in for the last three days, and it was becoming obvious Lexi was afraid to leave the apartment. Ethan and I were going to be leaving in a few days, but we couldn’t leave her if she refused to set foot outside, we needed to be here to help her. The problem was, Ethan’s emergency vacation is over and my classes were going to be starting. While Lexi was about to start her second to last semester, I still had three left. “I know,” she agreed with a sigh. “I just feel panicky when I think about it. I’m safe as long as the door is bolted and the windows are locked. Once I step outside, all bets are off.” We needed to go out today, the three of us, to show Lexi that she would be safe. It didn’t matter where we went. We could take in a show, go to a museum, hell, we could even just walk through the park, but it was important to get Lexi back into some sense of normalcy. She was all alone here, and she needed to be able to function without us if she is going to stay. “Well, I have something for you that might help.” Ethan said as he came into the room in his pajama pants, his chest bare. It took me a minute to force my eyes back to Lexi, but when I did she smirked at me. I gave her a small sheepish grin back, while Ethan remained safely oblivious to our ogling. He handed her an envelope, and I watched her curiously as she 184

opened it. She read through the contents quickly and began to giggle. Noticing my inquisitive expression, she handed me the envelope. It was a gym membership, and a six week selfdefense course. “Thank you, Ethan. I’ll check into starting a class next week. It is a very thoughtful gift.” She gave him a tight hug. “I have something for you too.” I said, walking over to my bag, I pulled out the package and handed it to her. Quirking one eyebrow, she looked at me. “It’s pepper gel.” I said, smiling. “It’s like pepper spray; only it has a farther range and it sticks to them like glue. Don’t worry; it’s legal to carry in New York. “ She launched herself into my arms. “Thank you, Jayden,” she said quietly, and I kissed her on top of the head. We did manage to get her out of the apartment. Neither Ethan nor I had ever been to New York. With Ethan’s aversion to people, and Lexi’s newfound fears, I was surprised they opted for Central Park. It was a beautiful and peaceful day. After strolling through Strawberry Fields and finding out that Ethan was a huge Beatles fan, we had lunch at Tavern on the Green, overlooking the beautifully sculptured grounds. That was where we found out that Lexi was allergic to shellfish. Lying in the grass next to Turtle pond, I regaled them with the story of my father teaching Kimberly and I to swim in Lake Michigan. Lexi shied away from strange men, keeping one hand in her bag around the gel I’d given her. Ethan refused to make eye contact with anyone except Lexi and me. Aside from our groups’ eccentricities, we were comfortable and learned a lot about each other as people, and as friends. To cap off the night, we grabbed a table at one of Lexi’s favorite Thai places. We shared tales of our youth – college mostly for Ethan; it was too light of an evening for him to talk of 185

his childhood. He marveled quietly at some of the things we’d done as kids, not having been able to experience them himself. I noted a small spark of envy at times, but he never really let it show. Over steaming plates of Pad Thai and Pad Kra Prao we discussed future career plans. We were happier than we had been in a long time. Then, it no time, it was time to go back to the apartment. Lexi was all smiles when we got through the door. Curious, I looked at her, but she just went into the bedroom to change into pajamas. “She’s proud that she was able to spend the day out with us. She had been so afraid of leaving the apartment. Now she’ll be able to go back to a somewhat normal life,” Ethan said, and then sighed. “I’m happy and I’m not. I want her to feel safe and happy, but I also want her home with us.” Lexi came out of the bedroom, looking more relaxed than I had seen her in a while. Her hair was pulled back into a loose bun and she was … she was wearing my track shirt and a pair of grey sleep pants. It was the shirt I’d let her borrow when she stayed over that night in Washington. She’d kept it. She still slept in it. My heart swelled. “That shirt looks familiar,” I said with a chuckle. She looked down, seeming only then to notice what she was wearing. Blushing, she muttered something I didn’t catch. “I’m sorry?” I asked, amused. “I said it helps me sleep.” I went to her, pulled her gently into my arms and she rested her head on my chest. “It’s all yours, darlin’.” Anything that would help her sleep once we were gone was a Godsend to me. And that night, she did fall asleep peacefully, in my arms once again. Before any of us were really ready, the week was over and it was time for Ethan and me to return home. Lexi was sad, yet understanding as she stood with us at the airport. 186

“As soon as you get home?” Lexi asked Ethan and he nodded. I looked over at him curiously over Lexi’s shoulder, but he just shook his head, indicating he might tell me later. Ethan took Lexi into his arms and kissed her tenderly while she smiled up at him and told him to have a nice trip back, that she would miss him. Then, it was my turn. Ethan stepped back, and Lexi stepped forward right into my arms. “I’m going to miss you so much,” she whispered in my ear. I got goose bumps all down my neck from her warm breath in my ear. “Me too, darlin’. You be good, now. Okay?” I asked her with a smile in my voice, and kissing her, she gave me that signature Lexi grin. “I’ll do my best.” She tried not to laugh. “Stay safe going home, and keep an eye on him for me, okay?” I nodded into her shoulder, and then I let her go. Again. It seemed like I was always saying goodbye to Lexi, a dull ache in my chest that wouldn’t go away. The plane ride, and subsequent car ride, was quiet and uneventful. Ethan seemed to have something on his mind, something that he wasn’t ready to share, but I tried not to think about it as we pulled up to the house. I followed Ethan to the door, and then inside. As I headed for the stairs, he finally spoke. “Jayden, can we talk for a moment?” I turned around and noticed that he looked nervous. Whatever he wanted to talk about, it didn’t seem as if it were going to bode well for me. “Sure Ethan, why don’t we just sit at the table?” He nodded and we headed into the kitchen where I pulled two beers out of the refrigerator and we sat down. He looked at me, hesitating. “This past week we really blurred the lines in our agreement. I told you some things about myself that I would normally not divulge to a sub. The time we spent together puts 187

you squarely into the category of friend father than sub“. I did not like where this was going. “Can’t I be both?” I asked, fighting the rising feeling of panic in my chest. “I am no longer comfortable with you being my sub, Jayden.” He said in a flat voice and made to continue, but I interrupted, my world starting to spin. “You son of a bitch!” I spat at him. “You sucked me into this, changing my whole fucking life, and now you’re going to what? Abandon me? Trade me out for another sub like used sporting equipment? What? What the fuck am I supposed to do now?” I was shouting, and the blood drained from his face. “You didn’t let me finish!” he yelled back, startling me into silence. Ethan never raised his voice, he was always so calm. It registered that he was just as upset about this as I was. I just stood there looking at him while he worked to regain his composure. “I am no longer comfortable with you as a sub, so I wanted to talk to you about training you as a Dom,” he said, his eyes still a little wild. “I…What?” That was almost exactly the last thing I had expected him to say. “I’ve spoken to a few other Doms in our community, including Nicole and Stephen. They agree that you have excellent potential. You’ve taken to subservience extraordinarily well. I think that this is the next logical step for you,” he said quietly, probably expecting me to fight further. “Have you ever considered the possibility?” I thought back to that night with Jennifer in the bar, the high I felt being in control, and I remembered each time Ethan had me work with Lexi, and the adrenaline rush it gave me. “Yes, I have thought about it.” I said honestly. “And?” The excitement started to show in his eyes. 188

Warily, I asked, “What will it entail?” I had been doing some research lately, and there were just some things that I wasn’t doing for anybody. “We’ll start out with training you with a sub for about six weeks, and then evaluate your progress from there,” he said smiling, obviously excited that I planned to follow this path. Lexi would be going through self-defense classes. We would both be in training – the substance of which would be worlds different. I chuckled at that thought, and then what he said really registered. “You’re going to collar another sub?” That was a real commitment, and I didn’t want him to have to do that just to train me. To be honest, I also got a little jealous at the thought of him taking on another sub, but I couldn’t pinpoint exactly why that was. “No, I plan to borrow a different sub each week for your training. By using different subs, you can get used to judging a multitude of different reactions to your methods. This will also allow you to diversify and better hone your skills. And…” He said, looking out towards the window, “I don’t want to collar a new sub just now.” This was going to be just as hard on him as it was on me, he had just lost Lexi as a sub, and now he was transitioning me out as well. “When do we start?” I asked, my excitement creeping into my voice. I couldn’t help but be excited, especially at his enthusiasm. “Stephen’s new sub will be here this weekend. He says she is a real beauty… and very responsive.”

189

Chapter 11 When I opened the door to the room for our first training session, I did not immediately notice the naked quivering girl to my left. Then, I could focus on nothing but her; she had a beautiful fragility and vulnerability that I recognized. I used to display it. Shivering slightly as she maintained her position, I thought she must be very new to be so nervous, and I got the impression that she was every bit as nervous with us as I had been with Nicole or Stephen. Her long curly hair flowed freely over her shoulders, a deep auburn, it was a perfect complement to her pale skin. As she looked up at me, I noticed that her eyes were the color of emeralds, and just as clear, just as vibrant. Shorter than both Ethan and I were, she was slender with modestly sized breasts, just enough to cup as I fucked her from behind. Then, an odd thought struck me. Was I supposed to undress? Ethan would be training me to be a Dom in these sessions, so I should remain dressed, right? I was sure this was a test, that he had purposefully not given me instructions. Or… I was being paranoid. Sighing, I decided to remain dressed. If I 190

was wrong, what the worst that would happen? A punishment? Gladly. I had grown to love being punished by Master Ethan; it would never fail to excite me, no matter how my relationship with him transitioned. As I stood watching the girl, she never broke her position. In that moment, it occurred to me why it will be beneficial to me that I started as a sub. I knew what she must be thinking. Is he still watching? Am I doing anything wrong? What will we be doing? I’m nervous but so excited. Chuckling under my breath, it seemed like yesterday that I was in that position, a brand new sub – frightened, but excited. A few minutes later, Ethan came into the room in his normal leather pants and t-shirt. The ludicrous question of where he purchased those pants crossed my mind before I made myself focus on the scene in front of me. Master Ethan stood before the girl and ran his fingers through her hair lightly, and she began to relax. “Jeanette?” Master Ethan asked quietly, and the girl looked up. “Yes, Master Ethan?” “You will not address me as ‘Master’ Jeanette. Only Jayden has earned that privilege. You will address me as ‘Sir’. Is that clear?” he asked sternly and the girl looked frightened again. “Y…Yes, Sir.” “Good girl….” Ethan said, and reached down to stroke her naked breast. She closed her eyes, but otherwise remained quietly positioned. With a meaningful look at me, he removed his t-shirt, so I did the same, so we were standing on either side of the naked trembling girl, each of us naked to the waist. When she peeked up at us, I noticed that her trembling had ceased, she was now more excited than frightened. “Stand,” Ethan told her, and she did so quickly. He led her over to the pulley where something looking like a trapeze was hanging high above the ground, nothing more than a vertical 191

bar held up by steel cabling. He went to the lever on the wall and lowered the bar until it was just over Jeanette’s head. “Grab onto that bar, and do not let go. You will be punished if you do,” he instructed in a low voice. She reached up and grabbed the bar, then secured her grip and nodded. He raised the bar until she was standing on the balls of her feet, her body stretched. Then, he walked up behind her, barely touching her naked back with his bare chest, and he pulled her soft, red curls away from her ear and murmured into it, “Your only job is to hold on to that bar. You may vocalize and orgasm as you wish since Stephen has not yet trained you otherwise.” She nodded quickly, her breathing picking up. “Jayden,” he said handing me a smooth plastic vibrator. “Your job is to use this to induce her orgasm. One of the first things that a young sub is taught is how to find pleasure in pain. This is taught by combining the two.” He went to the wall and selected a wooden paddle, much like you would see in a fraternity. “The lesson for you, Jayden, is vocalization. Talk to her – reassure or chastise her, encourage or reprove her. Tell her what you want. I have done this with you on countless occasions; you have a good idea already. Do you understand?” “Yes, Master Ethan.” I positioned myself in front of the girl who was squirming lightly in anticipation as she held on to the bar. Master Ethan nodded to me and I turned on the toy, Jeanette’s eyes widened slightly in anticipation but she made no sound or movement – yet. “Look at you, all spread and ready for me. What a good girl,” I said as I trailed the vibrator slowly between her breasts. Her breath caught and I moved the toy to barely skim over one of her tight little nipples, and I was pleasantly surprised when she moaned and arched her back. “Does this excite you, Jeanette?” I asked her over the rhythmic sounds of the vibrator. She nodded fervently. “Tell me.” 192

“Yes, Sir,” she said, the sound was somewhere between a moan and a whimper. It was then that I heard the first crack of the paddle across Jeanette’s naked buttocks. Unprepared for the blow, the girl cried out, swinging slightly on the bar. With one hand, I rubbed her full pert breasts, first one then the other taking great care to pinch and roll her nipples. With the other, I moved the vibrator farther down her tight body until it was resting just between her thighs. Imploringly, she looked at me as another blow sounded from the paddle, although she seemed to be better prepared for it this time, as she merely flinched at the sudden spank. “Show me what you want Jeanette,” I said, pushing the toy flush against her hot, wet skin. She whimpered and as I moved the toy along her soft outer folds, she began to buck her hips forward. With that, Master Ethan started to spank her in earnest; each crack of the paddle came at precise five second intervals, causing her hips to rock into my hand. Fuck, it made me hard to watch her writhe like that – knowing that whether she continued to beg or whether she was granted her wish, were completely at my discretion. I could either allow her to continue to be paddled, her ass becoming more red and sensitive, or cause her to explode in a mind-blowing pain/pleasure induced orgasm. Opting for the latter, I slid the toy into her swiftly, she was so incredibly wet, excited from the pain combined with pleasure. The toy slid in effortlessly and she threw her head back, a high-pitched whimper breaking from between her clenched teeth. The sound was so raw, so primal that I got infinitely harder. Slowly, I pulled the toy back, making sure to press it against every bit of her sensitive skin. As I worked her, she became more vocal. “Mmmmmmmmmmm…Sir, please….” she cried to me. To me – not to Master Ethan who was still spanking her steadily. I rubbed the vibrator against her as she ground herself into it, crying and moaning incoherently now, her entire body begging for release. 193

“Come for me, sweetheart,” I murmured into her ear. That was what Master Ethan always told Lexi when she had pleased him, and it thrilled me to say it to this beautiful writhing girl. The sheer power of controlling her – her movements, her arousal, the fulfillment of her needs and desires - was indescribably fucking exciting. She writhed harder and we were both rewarded when her head fell back and she cried out in pure unbridled pleasure as she came. Master Ethan stopped paddling her immediately as her body jerked and trembled in the intensity of her orgasm. When I removed the vibrator from her tender skin, she hung limply, waiting. She had never let go of the bar. Master Ethan wrapped his arms around her waist and said in her ear, “You are such a good girl, let go now, angel.” She released her hold on the bar and fell into his arms, and he lifted her gently, carrying her to a nearby table, laying her on it. “After a mentally or physically strenuous scene, it’s your responsibility to care for your sub. He or she has put their trust in you, and you need to honor that by looking after them.” He started to rub her right shoulder and down her arm, and without hesitation, I moved to the other side of the table, rubbing her other shoulder. I looked up and he was smiling at me. Next, I moved to rub her arm, and then I stroked her cheek. “You are doing so well, Jeanette,” I told her, and she was doing very well for such a new sub. I felt pride for her, even though she wasn’t my sub. I could only imagine what that feeling of pride would be like once it was my sub that I trained on that table – someone that I had molded and shaped in their subservience. “Shall we continue?” Ethan asked, and both Jeanette and I nodded. “Well then, now that the pleasure/pain lesson is over, what do you feel like doing Jayden?” I looked at him. “Along with the responsibilities of caring for your sub, you also get the benefit of gaining pleasure from that sub,” he said with a sly grin. I could do anything with this naked girl that I wanted, 194

and she would comply. Immediately, an image of my balls slapping against her chin came unbidden into my mind. She had the sweetest looking mouth, and I suddenly could not wait to fuck it. “On your knees, right here,” I said, indicating the hardwood floor just in front of my feet. She scrambled off of the table and was in position within seconds. I ran my fingers through her long curly hair. “Open my jeans.” She quickly unbuckled my belt, popped the button and unzipped my jeans. “Pull them down.” My voice was getting huskier, rougher, with my arousal, as I wanted nothing more than to jerk my jeans down and thrust my cock between those pouting fucking lips, but the anticipation was just so damned sweet. Carefully, she pulled my jeans and boxers down to my knees. I hissed as the cool air hit my burning flesh. God, I was so fucking turned on by watching her writhe as she came, hearing her whimper as she was spanked. I fucking needed her mouth. “Open,” I said, stroking her lips which parted immediately, granting me access to that sweet mouth. I pushed my hips forward, forcing my cock none too gently into her mouth. Out of instinct, she rocked back, but didn’t break her stride. She sucked me hard and deep, a low moan resonated in my throat, escaping through my slackened mouth. Fuck, she was good. “Do you like my cock, Jeanette?” I tried to maintain control as she groaned around me and gave a very slight nod. I pulled out of her mouth quickly, willing myself not to come. “Come with me,” I said and led her back to the mats in the back of the room. “Lie on your back.” She complied quickly, and I noticed that Master Ethan had followed. I ditched my jeans quickly and got to my knees next to the girl, looking over at Master Ethan. “She seems like an awfully needy little slut,” I told him with mock solemnity. “I think she might need two cocks to fill her.” Master Ethan chuckled and she blushed a deep red. 195

“What do you think little one?” he asked her with a lopsided grin. “Do you want us both?” Still blushing, she nodded. I watched briefly as Master Ethan removed the front panel of his pants, then I straddled her shoulders, grasping her wrists, I pushed them firmly into the mat over her head and held them there. On my hands and knees like that, my cock was directly over her face, and I pushed it back into her mouth. Just as I started a steady rhythm, I felt her shift slightly underneath me, and heard Master Ethan groan, telling me that he had just entered her as well. The mental picture of both of us fucking this helpless naked girl made me move my hips faster. She moaned loudly around me, causing wicked vibrations, and I felt them fucking everywhere. My orgasm was fast approaching, I could feel it building. Watching Jeanette’s face, between my legs, I made sure she was okay as I continued to fuck her mouth. She was sucking and running her tongue and teeth over my shaft. It was maddening. Then, without warning, she began to cry out around me. Alarmed, I pulled back, but she just arched her back pushing her soft breasts up between my legs. Her head thrown back and her little hands wrapped tightly around my wrists, her orgasm was strong and intense as it broke around her, and she was all the more beautiful for it. As it subsided, she caught my eye and her lips parted again, a clear invitation. I complied with her silent request, and felt my body rapidly approaching its release that it had been denied just a little too long, and the sounds she had made in her passion were just a little too enthusiastic. Then, I felt Master Ethan’s fingers stroking my hip, running them very lightly over my skin, more of an affectionate caress than anything, that one small show of warmth was enough to make me fill her sweet little mouth. I cried out as my orgasm exploded out of me and into her, she took every bit, closing her eyes just a moment in order to concentrate. With shaking legs, I pulled away and let myself fall to her side on the mat. Just for a minute, I closed my eyes, and concentrated on catching my breath. 196

When I opened my eyes, I saw Master Ethan lean forward and wrap his arms around Jeanette’s waist, picking her up using his upper body strength. He was still on his knees, but now the girl was impaled on him, her hands were under her long hair, fingers clasped behind her neck. Her breasts bounced beautifully right in his line of sight as he thrust skillfully up into her, his fingers digging into the soft skin of her hips as he forced her down onto him. They really were beautiful. He was powerful, masterful, strong, and confident. There was no hesitation in his movements, no doubt, and she was soft, compliant, and radiant in her obvious excitement. Watching them was a privilege. Incredibly, it was Jeanette’s orgasm that hit first, her third of the evening in nearly rapid succession. As Stephen had indicted, she was incredibly responsive. Master Ethan followed soon after, the look on his face one of deep satisfaction. I had a feeling it was more than just his physical pleasure, he was pleased that I had taken so well to this change in our arrangement. Perhaps he thought I would leave, or that I wouldn’t be interested in him once I had my choice of other playmates. He was wrong – on both counts. We had proved over our week with Lexi that there was something more to our relationship than just our agreement. However, exactly what that something was remained to be seen. Jeanette lay spent on the mat, her head in Master Ethan’s lap while he stroked her hair, talking to her quietly, “…two more sessions, little one. I will tell Master Stephen what a good girl you were; hopefully he will reward you for your service.” Then he looked up at me. “Our next submissive will prove to be a real challenge. Genevieve indicated that her little sub is very feisty. The girl has been with her for about six months, but she thought that maybe a little time with us would bend the girl to her will.” “I look forward to the challenge, Master Ethan.” * * * 197

“The thing about suspension,” Master Ethan said as the girl dangled helplessly before him, “is to make sure that there is no interruption in blood flow.” He checked her extremities and then slapped her on the thigh. “Isn’t that right, Danielle?” he asked the girl, grinning and winking at her, and she growled at him bucking hard in her restraints. “My, my…you are a feisty one,” he chuckled, and went to the back wall to choose an implement for her chastisement. Calling me to come back with him, we went over different options as he explained the pros and cons of each, especially as they related to her current positioning. Together, we selected a braided stick that rounded into a wide loop at the end, a device creatively known as a slapper, and offered a greater degree of precision in her current position. If she were on the ground, she would have been lying on her left side, but she was about three feet above the ground with her arms folded behind her, each wrist bound to the opposite elbow, pushing her breasts out further. A thick chain attached clamps to her nipples, and she was gagged tightly for her insolence. The topmost leg, her right leg, was bound high by the knee, while her left leg dangled helplessly below her leaving her impossibly spread and vulnerable. I just wanted to fuck her, just to watch her squirm, but we had other things to attend to. He handed me the slapper, and I walked over to the girl, noticing that while her face was set, but her eyes were blazing. “Are you going to be a good girl, Danielle?” I asked her, and she stayed defiantly still and quiet. I brought the implement down hard across her exposed buttocks, leaving a lovely red mark. Danielle jerked, but made no sound. Continuing along a measured path over her buttocks and thighs, I whipped her tender flesh along the tops of her inner thighs. Still, she didn’t make a sound. So, I went to the wall, and pulled down a leather flogger. When I returned to the girl who was still resolutely defiant, I whipped her breasts around the clamps as silent tears fell from her eyes, but still no sounds. Then I used the flogger to whip the tender, sensitive flesh between her legs. The continual 198

dampening of the flogger was evidence of her arousal. Still, the tears flowed but she maintained her silent vigil. I walked around her and surveyed my work, her buttocks and thighs were dotted with rounded red marks, her breasts were stained a light pink, and her wet sex was a darker pink. I tossed the pain inducing devices onto a nearby table and picked out a few pleasure inducing ones. When she saw what I carried, her eyes widened at my approach. I looked over at Master Ethan and he nodded approvingly. I walked around behind her, so she couldn’t see me, heightening her anticipation, and turned on the vibrator. I moved it slowly down her spine. She shivered violently and I chuckled to myself as I continued down her back until the toy rested lightly between her buttocks. Her hips began to move slightly, but I just slid the toy forward onto her already overeager sex. Other than her hard breathing around the gag, she made no obvious noise, even as I rubbed the hard plastic toy up and down the length of her wet sex. Her hips bucked savagely, desperate for that climax, that release. The chain on the clamps swayed, bringing a new sensation with it. “That feels good, doesn’t it Danielle?” I asked her, and she immediately stopped moving. I laughed, “So stubborn, little one….” “I think we need to give her a little more incentive to behave, Master Ethan,” I told him, and he winked at me, shrugging away from the wall and walked up behind me as I moved away from the girl. He whispered softly to me, so that she wouldn’t hear. “Genevieve tells me that she’s very audibly stimulated, so don’t hold anything back.” Then, he took one step back and grabbed the hem of my t-shirt pulling it up slowly. My eyes left the girl’s only when my shirt was in front of them. I continued to watch her as he reached around me to unbutton and unzip my jeans, and then he pulled them down and I stepped out, leaving me naked before her eyes. Leaving my arms docile at my sides, 199

his arms came around to stroke my chest, as his thumbs found my hardened nipples, I moaned and my head dropped back onto his shoulder. He took the opportunity to place little kisses on my exposed neck, and then my cheek. I turned my head slightly, searching, and was rewarded with his lips against mine. As his mouth opened and his warm tongue met mine, I faintly heard the girl moan. Progress was certainly being made. To be completely honest, I had started to forget the girl was in the room, especially when Master Ethan pinched both of my nipples. I ground my naked ass against his leather clad cock and was rewarded with a moan from him as well. “Oh, you like that don’t you, my Jayden?” he asked into my neck, loud enough for the girl to hear. I moaned and nodded. Then, his right hand ghosted down across my abdomen, my muscles clenching as I drew in a sharp breath, whimpering deep in my throat as his hand trailed across my naked hip. It took all of my willpower to leave my hands at my sides, but I managed. I gasped as his hand closed around my erection, and reaching up behind me I tangled my fingers in his hair, the battle to remain still was lost. “Mmmmmm…Master Ethan…Please….” I wasn’t sure what I was pleading for, but he had told me not to hold back. If he wanted to give our little insolent sub a show, I would certainly play along – especially if I got off as a result. He pumped me hard in his hand, and I thought for a second that my knees would buckle. “Tell me what you want,” he murmured low into my neck, still stroking me. It was difficult to form a coherent thought, but I did manage to get it out. “I want to suck you, Master. Please…Please let me suck you,” I cried, feeling my orgasm start to build. On my knees, without him stroking me, I had a shot at lasting longer than a minute or two. His hands were just too fucking good. Everything about him was too fucking good. 200

“What a good boy….” he whispered, and then said louder so she could hear “you may.” I turned quickly and got to my knees. Quickly, I unsnapped the panel on his leather pants before taking him into my mouth. I felt his hands slide into my hair. While I couldn’t see the girl, I knew what she could see behind me and just to my left, she could watch his cock slide in and out of my mouth, she could watch his face as I sucked him deep and hard. A deep resonating moan in my throat made my lips vibrate, and I felt his hands tighten in my hair for just a second before he went back to stroking it. As I sucked him, on each stroke of his cock into my mouth I moaned deeply. The faster he moved, the more insistent my sounds became, his fingers were now locked in my hair. I knew he wanted to come, I could feel the strain in his muscles as he fought it. Finally, he pulled away all together. “Fuck…You think that’s funny do you?” he asked, and I chuckled as he pushed me onto my back on one of the padded mats. Grabbing the lube from the side table, he pushed my legs up so far that I was resting on my shoulder blades with my feet over my head, my back perpendicular to the floor, and my ass perfectly positioned in the air, so incredibly submissive like this, so fucking open to him. “You may be training as a Dom, boy, but as long as you wear that cuff – your ass is mine.” Then I groaned loudly as he entered me. He wasn’t angry or rough, but rather swift and gentle, holding my hips as he came down onto me, thrust after thrust, fucking me hard. I didn’t care about whether or not our display was doing the trick, all I really cared about was keeping my balance in this position, and how fucking good it felt. My muscles were clenched, holding myself in this position, and I was tighter for him, I could feel it. From the way my legs swayed slightly with the motion, to the tension in my back and shoulders, my whole body felt the effects of his thrusts. Then, he reached down and began to stroke me again. I was already excited from his ministrations earlier, and this position was just 201

fucking turning me on. I felt so exposed, so dominated by him like this. “Do you want to come, my Jayden?” he asked with a smirk. “Yes, Master, please….” I cried out as his strokes became more insistent. “Look up,” he said quietly, and I opened my eyes and realized that in this position, the head of my cock was aimed directly at my face. I couldn’t decide if that excited me, or disgusted me. After a minute of deliberation, I finally decided on the former, and closing my eyes tightly, my orgasm ripped through me. Grunting as I came, I felt my own hot semen hit my face, making it all the more decadent. Then, I heard his low utterance of “fuck” as he thrust hard into me and stopped, coming inside my ass with a soft groan that sent a shiver right up my spine. God, I loved how he sounded. Finally, he released me, helping me slowly to lie on my back, and he was on top of me in an instant, kissing me hard. I moaned as his mouth met mine, and I felt him licking my lips slowly, tasting me on my lips. Behind me, I heard the girl struggling in her bonds, whimpering. “Go clean up first, and then I’ll go. We need to get back to playing with our toy,” he said, grinning at me. He stood up and walked over to her as I got to my feet. “Well, Danielle, do you think you’re ready to come for us now?” She nodded fiercely, whimpering, pleading behind the gag. After quickly cleaning up with a washcloth, I returned, then, Ethan left to clean up. While he was gone, I picked up the hard plastic vibrator and played with her a little, she was nearly in tears by the time he returned. “Make her come for us Jayden.” I knew the girl was so incredibly close to her orgasm, and when I pulled the vibrator away and she whined, almost pathetically. Watching her for a moment as she desperately tried to rub her legs together, to get some kind of relief. In her bound position, however, they just wouldn’t close. 202

“Is this what you want?” I asked her, as I stroked my hardening cock in front of her face, and she nodded fervently. I ran the head along her cheek, and she closed her eyes. Moving back around her, I positioned myself so that the leg that was bound up in the air was over my shoulder – then, I thrust into her. She cried out behind the gag as I took a tight hold of the ropes around her hips, the ones that were baring the stress of her suspension, and her body began to swing lightly with the rhythm of my hard thrusts. Within just a few minutes, her body began to tremble in her bindings, her legs jerked, and I felt her tighten. Then I heard it, and it was like music to me – the all out, head thrown back scream to announce the start of her orgasm. Moaning, as her body shuddered all around me, I gave her a few more good thrusts to prolong the feeling for her, and then I pulled out. I was still so fucking hard. Ethan stood back and watched as I carefully released her from the ropes. She lay on the ground panting and shivering, and I started rubbing down her arms and legs. “Isn’t it better when you submit, little one?” I asked her as she pressed her forehead to my thigh in subjugation. While I stroked her hair, and Master Ethan walked over to us, he hadn’t bothered dressing after cleaning up, so we were both naked on either side of the girl. “Hands and knees, facing me Danielle,” I said in a low voice, and she scrambled to obey. Smirking at Ethan over her head, I saw his face held a similar expression. That is, until the look was replaced with desire as he entered the girl from behind. Sliding into her mouth, I chuckled and she moaned around my cock as Ethan thrust into her. “That’s it baby, that feels good doesn’t it?” Ethan asked as the girl began to thrust her hips back into his, but he held onto her tightly, keeping her on his rhythm. “Yeah, just like that.” It never failed to excite me to watch Master Ethan during sex, so incredibly strong and graceful.

203

Danielle’s moans and whimpers were desperate and unrestrained now around me. The vibrations of her tight lips were pushing me hard toward my own impending climax. However, she reached hers first, the loud cry that erupted from her throat was muffled by my cock, driving me over the edge and I felt her swallow around me as I came. With my head thrown back from the sheer bliss that was her mouth, I didn’t see Ethan’s orgasm, but I did hear it, and fuck, he sounded so hot. Soon, Ethan and I both pulled back from the girl and she collapsed on the floor between us. Sitting down next to her, I pulled her towards me, and she rested with her head on my lap as I stroked her hair and Ethan traced lazy patterns on her bare calf. * * * “Hi,” he said jovially into the phone, and then paused. “It’s going well, he’s coming along beautifully.” Another pause. “Yes, so far none of the subs had anything negative to say about him… I know, I’m impressed.” He looked up at me and smiled. Oh, he is talking about me – that made me happy. “Yes...” I started to get up from the table to take a shower when his next words stopped me. “And how are you doing, is the medication helping?” And then, “That’s good. Are you still having nightmares?’ He was talking to Lexi, I had thought he was talking to another Dom. I told Ethan to tell Lexi that I would call her later and headed upstairs. It was with some trepidation that I left the kitchen. Still thinking about Lexi having nightmares, I walked into my room. I went through to the bathroom and undressed, finally removing my cuff last, wondering briefly what it would feel like when I didn’t wear it at all anymore. That thought made my chest constrict a little. When I was out of the shower, I dried quickly, not bothering to dress, feeling more comfortable with my body now than I ever had before. I placed the cuff back on my wrist; it 204

was always the first thing to go on after I was dry, as it gave me a sense of security, making me feel wanted. With still about I about twenty minutes before I had to be in the room, I sat on my bed, leaning up against the pillows. The breeze from the open window felt nice on my body. My skin was still a little damp from the shower, and my nipples hardened at the touch of the cool air across them. I closed my eyes, and my hand drifted almost lazily to my burgeoning erection. Knowing that Ethan would have my ass if I got myself off, I just teased my cock lightly. I thought about that last night that Lexi was here, and how we had that beautiful session in the room. Fuck, I wished we could do that again, that we could all be together again. “Having a good time?” Ethan asked from the doorway, and I immediately withdrew my hand. He chuckled, and stepped passed the door to my bedroom. I followed him, and within a few minutes, we were joined by Mistress Nicole, and a captivatingly handsome blond boy. “It will be alright, Sean, we talked about this. You did not put men down as a hard limit, just a soft limit.” Nicole told the shaking boy as she stroked his cheek. “Do you want to please me?” she asked, her voice almost little girlish. He sighed, and nodded. “Master Ethan and Jayden will take very good care of you. I promise.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek, and then ruffled his straight strawberry blond hair, watching it fall into his apprehensive light green eyes. “Do you want me to stay with you?” Blushing, he shook his head. She nodded, and then with a quick hello to Ethan and me, walked through the door – leaving her frightened sub with us. Once inside the room, he began to grow excited in spite of his fear. He may be new to the lifestyle, and he may be even more reticent about his subservience to another man, but he was exhilarated at the thought of being dominated in this room. We could see it on his boyish features, not to mention his obvious erection.

205

“Take your clothes off, Sean. I should not have to tell you that.” I told him sharply as he stood frozen in the doorway. He hastened to comply. Ethan and I also disrobed, there was no real reason to; we were just more comfortable that way. Turning to look at Sean, I saw that he was looking down; his hands laced behind his neck, he was still nervous, no doubt wondering what we had in mind for him. I remembered that feeling plainly. In fact, Sean reminded me a lot of myself from that very first day with Ethan. Even if his soft pouting lips and smooth flushed cheeks turned me on. “Do you want to serve us, Sean?” I asked from behind the boy, very low in his ear. “You may leave if you wish.” I ghosted my hand over his chest and his breath caught. “No…I…I want to stay.” His voice was barely above a whisper. It was the first time he had spoken, and his tone was shy, reverent as he addressed us. I liked that. “I’m not sure I believe that,” I said, with a hint of a smile at Ethan over the boy’s shoulder. He winked back. “I do, Sir. I do want to stay…Please….” he implored, no doubt frightened of what his Mistress would say if he left. “Show me,” I said, turning him slowly and looking into his face, he paled slightly. “H…How Sir?” he asked nervously, but I saw that his cock grew noticeably harder. “Have you ever sucked a man’s cock before, boy?” I asked, and he shook his head slowly, a look of blank incomprehension on his face. “On your knees then, I’ll teach you,” I said to him, reaching out to stroke his face, I wanted his first experiences to be a little different than mine. Ethan had been fairly careful with me, but he had not been tender or kind by any means. This kid was barely over eighteen, he needed more care than I had been shown. When he got to his knees quickly, I stepped forward so that my cock was just inches from his sweet berry colored lips. 206

“Kiss it, Sean.” I held my cock level, so that he could touch his soft lips to the tip. “That’s it…Now lick the head….” He stuck his tongue out tentatively and licked the head of my cock. I was so hard I thought I might just come all over his sweet face right then, but I held it off. “Now the shaft,” I managed to get out in a strained voice. For a kid with no experience, he made feel like a teenage boy. As he licked me, I decided I was going to blow much too soon if we kept going. “Ethan?” I asked, and he came over, his cock just as hard as mine. “Turn around, Sean,” Ethan said, and the boy turned, looking up at Ethan with those innocent eyes, and I walked over to the side table. “Open.” I heard Ethan say to the boy, and I turned to watch Ethan slide his hard cock into the boy’s mouth. I brought a paddle and the lube back to where Ethan and Sean were and stood behind the boy. I set the lube off to the side, and pushed Sean’s legs apart with my foot. By widening his stance, he would be better equipped to take my blows. The first one caught him by surprise and he yelped around Ethan’s cock in his mouth, and then whined softly. He was more prepared for the next one which made him whimper. Then, I spanked him in earnest. His skin was red, and there were tears streaming down his soft face by the time I was finished. His cries had just started to subside when I caught sight of Ethan’s face. His eyes were now closed, and he was relaxing his jaw around a deep moan. The boy whimpered as Ethan filled his mouth. To his credit, he swallowed every bit without being told. He had wonderful potential as a sub. When Ethan pulled out of his mouth, I pushed his shoulders down so that he was on all fours in front of me. I lubed up my hand a little and reached forward to stroke him. He brought his head up, and then let it fall again, moaning softly, trying hard to control himself. While I stroked him harder, I used by other hand to prepare his ass for me. There 207

was nothing in his mouth to muffle the sound of his whimpers and cries as my fingers penetrated his virgin hole. He shook his head from side to side, but didn’t say his safe word – which Nicole had told us was “fire truck”. I gave him a few more minutes to mentally prepare himself as I stroked his cock and his ass in tandem movements. When his legs began to tense, I pulled my fingers out and put the head of my erection against his entrance. As I pushed forward gently, his body froze, and he whimpered loudly as I entered him, and his hips moved forward away from me. Growling, I pulled him back, inching into him. He had moved to his forearms, and I saw that his hands were balled into fists. I don’t think I’d ever felt anything so fucking tight around my cock, it was better than being in his little mouth. Pushing forward until the length of my erection was perfectly sheathed inside him; his whole body shook as I reached forward again and began to stroke him in time with my thrusts into his ass. They were gentle thrusts, but he still whimpered each time I drove into him. After several minutes, of me rubbing his hip as I fucked him, just that simple affection, he stopped trembling. “That’s it, you like that don’t you?” I asked in his ear, as I began to fuck him harder. Simultaneously, I also stroked him harder with my slick hand. It took a few more minutes, but I then I felt his cock start to spasm in my hand. With my lips still next to his ear I murmured to him “Come for me, angel.” I was so close; I knew he had to be too. Off to the side, Ethan was still watching us, it was exciting being watched. I closed my eyes, trying to hold off on my orgasm until the boy had come, which thankfully, didn’t take long. After a surprisingly short amount of time, he cried out hoarsely, and came wildly onto the hardwood floor. As he came, his ass tightened perceptibly around me and I pulled him back against my hips as I filled his sweet little ass. As I started to come down from one of the best orgasms I’d ever had, I fell back onto my ass and pulled him with me, sitting with my back against a nearby table leg, I pulled him back onto 208

me, holding him, stroking his hair as he cried into my chest. It seemed that the emotional and physical climaxes were just too much for him. “Shhhhh….It’s okay angel,” I said, and he turned his head slightly and kissed my naked chest. We sat there for a long time, until he was able to calm himself. As he calmed, I noticed that he was starting to get hard again. “Are you ready to keep going?” I placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, and he nodded. I looked up to Master Ethan, who was watching us with a peculiar expression on his face, one I couldn’t quite place. It didn’t appear to be anger, but he didn’t look happy either. Then he broke eye contact with me, and went back to one of the larger cabinets in the back, pulling out a piece of strange looking furniture. It looked almost like a child’s teeter totter, but it had penis-shaped attachments affixed to where seats would have been. I stood up, bringing the boy with me. “This is called a Monkey Rocker – this particular model is the Tango, because it’s a double. Jayden, prepare the phalluses for you and Sean“ he said in an offhand voice, and stood off to the side. I picked up the lube from where it had fallen and I went over to the machine, moving it experimentally and saw at once what it did. As we rocked on it, the phalluses would be thrust up into us, a very clever design actually. I rubbed each of the phalluses down with lubricant, and then took Sean’s hand and led him to his side. As he straddled the device, I leaned down and whispered to him. “Are you sore, angel?” He nodded as he said that he was a little sore. I checked the machine and noticed that there were smaller phalluses in a box underneath. I took one of the smaller ones, and replaced his side after rubbing it down and making it slick. “Thank you,” he whispered as I helped him down onto his side. As the phallus slid home, he groaned, but did not move. I took my position on the other side and slid down on the larger phallus, a similar groan escaping me as I mounted the machine. 209

Slowly, we began to rock and get fucked by the machine. His head dropped back as he rocked just a little faster, it was evident that he was deriving pleasure from being able to control his own movements on the phallus. I felt the same way, and sped up as well, and I could only imagine what we looked like, two writhing naked men, fucking themselves on this machine. Stretching my hand forward, I began to stroke him as he rode the phallus; he looked so sweet, so hot riding the machine. As I stroked him, I felt him jerk in my hand, and he brought his head back up, and his green eyes met my own. His sweet lips broke into a small smile as he noticed me watching him, so I leaned forward quickly and captured his lips with my own in a long, soft erotic kiss as we both worked ourselves on the machine. Just before I was about to pull back, he cried out into my mouth and I felt his warm come hit my chest. Smiling into the kiss, I brought my lips hard against his one last time. As I sat back up on my side, I felt Ethan grab my upper arms. The murderous look on his face startled me a little. He pulled me off of the machine and pushed me down onto the floor on my back, and then was on top of me in a heartbeat. “Do you think that boy can satisfy you like I can?” he asked roughly, pulling my legs up to my chest, and thrusting his cock into me. My head fell back, jealous Ethan was hot, and I moaned. I felt his lips at my jaw; my erection was trapped between our hard bodies. As he continued to thrust into me, my cock rubbed maddeningly against his stomach. And then he kissed me, it was so different from my kiss with Sean. I felt Ethan’s kiss everywhere - in my chest as it clenched, in my lips as they tingled, and in my balls as they constricted and I came. I cried out into his mouth, just as Sean had cried out in mine. Ethan fucking owned me, and he knew it. He fucked me harder, faster and his own orgasm approached. Sean caught my eye as Ethan’s cry resounded in my ears; his eyes were filled with awe and wonder. Ethan nearly collapsed on top of me as he caught his breath. My lips found his neck and I kissed it reverently, as he kissed my 210

forehead in return, and then brought his mouth down against mine again. As he kissed me softly, tenderly, he stroked my cheek. Then, as abruptly as he had pulled me off of the machine, he got up looking at the door. My gaze followed his and I saw Nicole smirking at us from the doorway. Ethan and I cleaned up as Sean dressed to leave. When we were all ready to leave the room, I heard Sean’s soft voice. “Mistress Nicole, can I come back and serve Master Jayden again?” Ethan chuckled under his breath while Nicole rolled her eyes as she led the boy out. “Sounds like you have a fan in the community already,” Ethan said, trying to contain his bubbling laughter. “We will have to see what tomorrow holds.” “Tomorrow?” I asked, feeling all of the blood leave my face. "The submissive coming tomorrow will help me to determine your readiness for the life you've chosen. She's very sought after, and we were lucky to get her. She's highly skilled, and revered through our community. Thankfully, she likes me, so she was able to accommodate us."

211

Chapter 12 “Don’t be nervous.” Lexi told me as I paced around my room. Her face was almost amused on my screen as she watched me walk back and forth in front of the camera. “It isn’t a test.” I stopped walking and looked at her blankly. “What do you mean?” I asked her. Ethan made it sound like an actual pass or fail assessment. “In our community, there is no ‘Dom test’.” She confirmed, making silent air quotes. “Your position in the community is based on reputation, and you already have a few things going for you. First, and most importantly, you are being trained by Ethan Bryant. Ethan is very well respected. Everyone knows that your Dom training really started on your first day as a sub. You’ve been learning by example for over a year, these last six weeks have really just been putting on the finishing touches. Second, you’ve been a sub, and that is something any experienced sub looks for after reputation. Plus, you have already worked with over half a dozen different subs. They are going to talk to other subs about you and of course they will talk to their Doms as well. I’m sure over half of the community knows who you are.” She stifled a giggle with her hand. 212

“What?” I was not thrilled she found it amusing, because I was going to have a heart attack. “Not to mention your little boy crush.” The giggle escaped her then, and I sighed. “I heard he was quite taken with you.” As I was contemplating sticking my tongue, or worse, out at her there was a knock on my bedroom door. “Hold on, Lexi. Come in!” came into my room.

Ethan opened the door and

“Hi Lexi,” he greeted with a smile into the screen. She waved up at him. “Sorry, Jayden, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just wanted to give you an idea of what to expect today, I don’t want you to be nervous unnecessarily.” “Too late,” I muttered, and he chuckled before launching into a speech so similar to Lexi’s I had to wonder if they had rehearsed it. But then he continued into an explanation of the sub that would be here today. “Catherine is one of Cyrus’s subs. As I’m sure you’re aware, Cyrus is one of our highest ranking Masters in the community. It is really just a matter of experience and reputation, as I’ve said. He’s been a Master for a very long time, and cares deeply for his subs. The woman who is coming today has been with him for years, and is highly trained. She will help us to determine if there is anything that you need to work on. If she’s pleased with you, as all of the other subs have been, she’ll be able to give you high recommendations to subs looking to be collared. Do you see how this is valuable? You will have an independent person who can speak to your qualifications, not just me.” He finished, and on screen, Lexi nodded. I took a deep breath. “When is she coming?” I asked, and he looked at his watch. “She will be here in about ten minutes.” My hands started to shake, and I looked into his face. Fear must have been apparent in mine. 213

“Jayden,” He put his hand on the side of my neck. “What is the one thing that a sub has to feel towards his Master?” he asked sternly. I thought about it for a fraction of a second. “Trust.” “That is correct.” He tilted my face up to look at him. “Do you not trust me, Jayden?” The solemn expression on his face caused a wave of guilt to course through me. “Of course I do,” I said without hesitation. “Do you think I would have called her if I didn’t think you were ready?” he asked sadly. “No. I don’t, but it’s your reputation on the line too. If I screw up too badly….” I started, but couldn’t finish. “Jayden, do not worry about me. First, you are going to be beautiful – I don’t think there is any way that you be otherwise. Second, if something goes wrong, we’ll just go through more training and assess again. This is not an all or nothing thing, please relax.” He looked at his watch again. “I’m going to go downstairs and.…” Then, the doorbell rang and we all looked at each other. After bidding Lexi a hasty goodbye and slamming my laptop shut, I joined Ethan downstairs. A beautiful woman stood at the door, she had flawless brilliant auburn hair, bright green eyes, and unblemished features. Her long wavy hair was held back with simple ties, and she wore a t-shirt and jeans. “Jayden, this is Catherine,” he introduced her, and I shook her hand, my eyes never leaving hers. “Hello.” “Don’t worry, Jayden. I don’t bite…hard,” she said with a wicked grin, and I smiled back. We led Catherine up to the room, and she looked around carefully. “This is nice, Ethan. I don’t think I’ve been in here since you set it up after your assessment with Nicole,” she said with a 214

note of approval. Ethan came up behind her, pulling her lightly back into his hard body. “Just say the word, and I will call Master Cyrus to ask for a session,” he murmured into her neck as he kissed it. She closed her eyes and sighed. “Oh, today is going to be fun for me. I can tell already,” she said with a smile, pulling a sheet of paper from her bag. “Jayden, I have spoken to the other subs that you have worked with and have a quick list of things I’d like to cover today,” she said to me and handed the list to Ethan. “Catherine – there are a few things on here we won’t need to cover.” Ethan said lightly. “For example, anything to do with bodily functions is on Jayden’s hard list – mine too, to be frank. I also don’t do fire play. It’s dangerous, especially with the very new subs that I generally work with. I sometimes work with erotic electro-stimulation, if the Dom specifically requests it, but if Jayden wants to get into that type of edge play, he can work with someone versed in it like Leonard and Erica.” He scanned the list again. “Everything else on this list, I am equipped for.” She nodded and taped the list to the back of the door. I looked at it briefly and sighed in relief, there wasn’t really anything on that list I couldn’t or hadn’t done. Ethan had prepared me well, but I had doubted, I felt a pang in my chest, and resolved to never doubt him again. “Okay, let’s get started,” I said, taking charge of the session. I knew that’s what would be expected of me as this session was being conducted to assess my worthiness as a Dom. “Take off your clothes Catherine, assume your position,” I said sternly, and she complied quickly. Once she was in position something occurred to me. “Catherine, do you have a safe word that you generally use?” “Yes,” she replied quietly, and I raised one eyebrow at her. “Yes, Sir,” she amended with a small smile. internal sigh of relief. One test down.

I gave an 215

“What is your safe word?” “Dragon,” she said with a quick wink at Ethan who chuckled. That must be some private joke that I was missing. “Catherine, I want you to use that word if you need to stop the scene for any reason. You will not be punished for using it. Do you understand?” I asked, and she nodded. “Follow me then.” She crawled behind me to the metal grid on the wall where I attached the padded cuffs to her wrists, making sure that there was room to insert a finger between her cuffs and her skin to that circulation was not impaired. I helped her to stand and pushed her back against the grid, locking the wrist and ankle cuffs into special points in the grid, taking the opportunity of her immobility to slide my hands down from her face over her breasts, then down to her thighs, enticing a moan from her. “That’s right. You like that don’t you?” I asked, rubbing her wet sex with my fingers. “It doesn’t matter who your Master is. Today you’re going to please me aren’t you?” I picked up a crop from the wall and smacked her breasts with it. “Answer me properly,” I said harshly. “Yes, Sir,” she said as the crop met with her thigh. I whipped her soundly with the crop until she was squirming. Then, I detached the cuffs from the wall, spun her quickly, and reattached her facing the wall. Picking up a flogger, I ran the strands over her naked skin before delivering the first blow, relishing in her cries and whimpers as I flogged her naked buttocks and thighs. As she turned to look at me, I marveled at the beauty of her tears, her face held a measure of grace as the tears fell, and it was beautiful. As I repositioned her I felt as though I could no longer contain myself, so I detached her from the wall and turned her gently, letting her slide into a sitting position on the ground with her legs resting in front of her “You took that very well, little one,” I told her earnestly. My erection was starting to become painful in my jeans, so I removed my clothes and quickly tossed them aside as she rested on the floor. When I came back to her, I held her arms straight 216

out on either side and attached her cuffs to the metal grid. She sat on the ground with her legs out in front of her, and her arms spread and looked up at me. “You look so fucking hot bound for me like this.” I told her and pushed the hair back from her dampened forehead, stroking her cheek lightly. “If you need to stop, just open and close your hands rapidly, okay?” I asked and she nodded before I slid my cock into her warm mouth. Her lips, her tongue, and her teeth – she used every trick on me. Holding her head still, I was fucking her sweet little mouth, almost ready to explode into it when I saw her hands begin to open and close. Immediately, I pulled back and dropped to my knees. “Are you okay, Catherine?” “Yes, Sir,” With a sheepish expression, she explained, “I just needed to make sure that you were paying attention and that you would stop.” I let out a breath, and sat down heavily next to her to collect my thoughts. When my heart rate had finally gone down a little along with my erection, I got to my knees next to her and kissed her deeply, stirring my excitement once again. I removed the cuffs from her wrists and ankles and rubbed her delicate skin. “What would you do to a sub that gave you the safe word for no good reason?” she asked me, and I thought about it for just a minute before I answered. “I would stop the scene and discuss why they used their safe word, I would also ask them if this relationship was something they wanted to continue. I would reiterate our agreed upon rules. We would talk about trust….” I said, as I helped her off of the floor. Glancing over at the list, I saw that we still had a few things to hit yet. “Are you ready to continue?” “Yes, Sir.” She laced her fingers behind her neck, her naked breasts jutting out proudly; she followed me to the rigging attached to the pulley where I suspended her carefully, making sure to check circulation. If she had been on the floor, I would 217

have said that she was in a low squat – leaning forward. But, she was currently just inches from the floor – just high enough to be off of the ground. I motioned for Ethan to come over, and he removed the panel from his pants as he did so. “Where do you want me?” Ethan asked. “Under her,” I told him and he lay down on the floor and slid beneath her. Grabbing the lube that I had left on the table nearby and a vibrator from the shelf, I heard Ethan talking to Catherine when I returned. “You want to ride my cock, don’t you?” He stroked her breasts, and teased her nipples, in response, she moaned, pushing her breasts harder into his hands. Behind her, I knelt between Ethan’s parted legs, turning the vibrator on to tease her eager sex. She writhed over Ethan in her rigging, whimpering and pleading desperately without words for us to take her while I continued to tease her with the toy, making her shudder and jerk in her ropes until Ethan pushed my hand away forcefully and grabbed her hips. Lifting his ass off the ground, he drove up into her and she cried out as his hips slammed into hers. To get better leverage to continue thrusting upwards, he spread his legs wider and planted his feet. As he took her, I grabbed the lube and prepared her for me, sliding my fingers in and out of her ass as she tried to push back into my hand, but couldn’t. I pulled my fingers out of her tight little hole, and slid my cock inside of her, becoming fully sheathed in her. As I wrapped one arm around her waist to hold her steady, I fucked her in the same rhythm as Ethan, and we drove steadily into her. Within minutes she was clenching around both of us. “You want to come for us, don’t you?” I asked her low in her ear. She nodded furiously. “All you have to do is ask – very nicely.” “Please, Sir…Please, may I come? Please.…” she begged, unable to increase the friction and make it happen, she was at our mercy, and she knew it. Ethan was thrusting hard into her 218

from below as I fucked her harder and told her to come; I reached under her and began to stroke between Ethan’s outstretched legs. I heard his whimper as I cupped him, squeezing lightly. The feel of his skin in my hands was exquisite, but my rhythm into Catherine never wavered. The feel of him, coupled with the sounds he had made propelled my lust to a frenzied height. Just as I whispered, “Come for me, angel,” into Catherine’s ear, incredibly, Ethan came first. He choked out a strangled sound as he arched his back driving up into her, and I removed my hands from him as he emptied into her. Wrapping my other arm around her as well, my fingers found that sweet sensitive spot and stroked her into her own orgasm, her entire body tensed as she came, tightening her muscles around me so that I came soon after. We were all spent when I released her from the rigging and massaged her sore muscles. “Wow. That was….” she began, unable to finish the thought. I smirked; guess I got points for making her come hard. Then, she looked at her list again and frowned. “I forgot something.” “What did you forget?” I asked her, not sure if the assessment was over or not, even though I had completed everything on her list. “Wax play,” she said absently. “I can’t do that,” I said flatly. Ethan and I had never covered it, and my one experience with it, I had been blindfolded. “Are you sure? I thought you wanted a good assessment?” she asked incredulously, and my heart sank. If I didn’t do it, she wouldn’t give me a good assessment. I thought about it for a long time, but in the end, her safety was more important. I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Catherine,” I said, looking at the floor. “I can go over that with Ethan, or with someone else and we can do it 219

later. I won’t risk hurting you just for this.” Walking over to her stuff, she tossed the paper in her bag before getting dressed. I had been doing so well, but now I’m going to have to retrain and go through it all over again! I thought savagely as I dressed as well. When we were all dressed, she faced me. “Jayden, you have done an outstanding job today. I will be giving you the highest recommendation that I can for you to be a Dom in the community,” she said with a proud smile, and then hugged me. “But…but I wouldn’t do the wax play. Didn’t that disqualify me?” I asked, unable to believe my ears. “You answered the question perfectly. I knew from my discussion with Ethan that you weren’t ready for that yet. You risked ‘failing’ the assessment for my safety. That is the mark of a great Dom, Jayden.” Pushing a lock of hair out of my eyes, she continued, “My safety meant more to you than being a Dom, you put your sub first. That’s exactly what you should do.” She hugged me, and then she hugged Ethan, and Ethan walked her out. I stayed in the room looking around, in disbelief I was going to be recommended as a Dom in the community. Why did it make me so sad? Ethan. Where do we go from here?

220

Chapter 13 The incessant pounding finally broke through my consciousness and my eyes opened infinitesimally to find my bedside clock. Who the hell is pounding on my bedroom door at three in the morning? As the pounding returned, I dimly realized that it was coming from the front door. I rolled out of bed and threw on a t-shirt over my sleep pants before jogging downstairs. Unlocking the deadbolt, I threw open the door to see two uniformed police officers on the porch. After a brief moment of shock, I found my voice and opened the outer door. “Can I help you?” I asked hoarsely, and turned to see Ethan coming down the stairs. “Jayden Carter?” The taller of the two asked. Oh, God… No, please…I thought as Lexi’s voice came unbidden into my mind. ‘You need to work things out with her, Jayden. She’s your sister, and you never know what could happen.’ God, not Kimberly, please. I nodded mutely, and Ethan stepped forward to stand beside me. “And you are?” The officer asked of Ethan in a polite tone. 221

“Ethan Bryant. Mr. Carter is my roommate.” He paused just a single beat and the finished, “and my friend.” The second guy nodded and Ethan led us into the living room. I walked on numb legs and sat down on the couch while Ethan sat next to me. He did not touch me, but his presence was comforting nonetheless. “Mr. Carter, I am very sorry to have to tell you that your parents were killed in Chicago earlier this evening.” The taller officer said with profound sympathy. I couldn’t process what he had said. It couldn’t be true. My heart sank with the realization that they wouldn’t be here if they weren’t sure. “Wh…What happened?” I asked, the shock permeating through my entire shaking frame. My parents, our parents were dead. Oh, God…Kimberly. “They were coming from a theater were they had been seeing a show and were accosted by several individuals. It appears to have been a robbery. They were shot. They both died on the scene, they did not suffer.” The second officer said sadly, looking truly sorry for me. “We are very sorry for your loss,” The other officer said. As the officers paused in their notification, I heard Ethan then. He was on his cell phone telling Lexi that she would have a ticket waiting for her at the airport, that we would meet her in Chicago. It must have been a terrible connection because the volume of his voice was such that it broke though even the thoughts about what was waiting for me in Chicago. Thankfully, he knew I that would want to go right away, of course he did. Ethan had always been able to read me like an open book. “Have you told my sister, Kimberly?” I asked, not bothering to hide the desperation, the utter devastation in my voice. The taller officer shook his head. As the oldest and only son, of course I would be first on their notification list. We talked for another few minutes about identification of my parents’ bodies, and what I would have to do next. All I could think about was 222

how I was going to tell Kimberly. Ethan showed the officers out while I sat on the couch, with my head in my hands. “Jayden, Lexi is on her way,” Ethan said softly, sitting down next to me. He hesitated for a minute, and then put his arm around my shoulders, and I turned my face towards him, burying it in his neck while he stroked my hair and murmured soft encouragements. After many long minutes, I pulled away. He leaned over and kissed the top of my head. “I have to tell my sister,” I said dully. “I know. I’ll take you over there. You don’t need to be driving while you’re so upset.” He started walking towards the stairs. “No, Ethan.” He turned around. First hurt, and then confusion touched his eyes before he controlled his emotions. “Seeing you will only upset her further,” I explained quietly and sighed. “If you want, I would like for you to come to Chicago with me. You could get out stuff packed and do something about the tickets. I’d like to leave as soon as we can.” Numbly, I went upstairs and got dressed. Within a few minutes, I was in my truck and on my way to tell my sister, my only sibling, that our parents were dead. It took nearly ten minutes for a bleary-eyed Kimberly to answer her door with a murderous look on her face, and Josh standing right behind her. “Jayden?” she asked, momentarily confused. “What? Did the freak throw you out?” Then she must have noticed my expression, and her face softened. “Oh God, Jay, what is it? Did he hurt you? Honey, please… Come in, you’re scaring me.” I let her lead me into their large family room. “You need to sit down Kimberly,” I began, and she and Josh took the couch opposite me. I relayed to her what the officers had told me. At first, she didn’t show any sign that she’d heard. Then, just as I knew she would, she went to pieces. She raged, thankfully not at me, she screamed, she sobbed – it broke my 223

heart. Josh held her throughout it all, and my respect for him grew as he comforted my sister, he would help her put the pieces back together. *

* *

On numb legs, I walked onto the plane that would bring me face to face with the reality of my parents’ deaths. The flight attendant must have noticed my demeanor because as Ethan stored our carry-on luggage in the overhead bins, she asked if she could get me anything. Without pretense, I asked her for two Jack and Cokes. She said she’d bring them as soon as we were in the air. While everyone else boarded, I sat in the window seat, ignoring the chaos around me, I focused on the ground crew getting us ready for take-off. Just after we left the ground, I felt Ethan squeeze my knee lightly, and I looked over at him. “I’m sorry. We’ll be with Lexi soon. I know she’s better at this stuff than I am.” I leaned over, not caring that we weren’t alone, not caring that I was practically in the arms of another man in public, and rested my forehead against his shoulder. Without hesitation, he reached up and stroked my hair, and then my face. It was then that the tears finally came. They were silent, here in the first class cabin of our Chicago flight, but they helped to purge some of the profound loss I felt. Ethan just kept holding me, trying to reassure me long after the flight attendant had brought our drinks. We left them untouched. *

*

*

As we exited the terminal, I was hit hard in the chest by a mass of floral-scented brown hair. I wrapped my arms tightly around her and buried my face in her neck. “I’m so sorry, Jayden,” Lexi said softly in my ear and I nodded. The tears were still so close to the surface, I was trying not to let my emotions get the best of me. There were things I needed to do here in Chicago. I held her for another minute 224

and then we went to pick up our checked luggage. We’d packed light, even though I was fairly sure I wouldn’t be leaving Chicago until after the funeral. Thankfully the traffic was light, Chicago traffic can sometimes feel like a bondage all its own, and it didn’t take us long to reach the hotel. We left a very reluctant Lexi in the hotel room and caught a cab to the address the police had provided. Suddenly, now that we had flown thousands of miles to get here, I did not want to go in to the morgue. Ethan squeezed my shoulder reassuringly, and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I nodded slightly – he removed his hand, and we went in. “Hello, we are here to make an identification,” Ethan told the receptionist calmly. Her face went immediately from friendly to pity. God, I hated that face. I’m sure I was going to see it over and over before this was over. “I’m sorry,” she said sympathetically. “Who are you here to see?” Ethan handed her the faxed sheet of paper that the Washington officers had provided sent from the Chicago police department. After looking it over, she told us it would just be a moment. For which I was grateful, I didn’t want to be here any longer than I had to. Quickly, she returned with a burly looking officer, he looked at us both, and then addressed me first. I was surprised and encouraged by his deductive reasoning skills. I hoped he would be one of the people trying to solve my parents’… murder. “Jayden Carter?” he asked, and I nodded. “I’m Detective Sanders of the Chicago Police Department,” he introduced himself, holding out his hand for me to shake. “Did the officers in Washington fill you in?” “Not really, to be honest,” I told him, a little frustrated. “Maybe we could get this done and then talk?” He nodded and started to lead us back, but when Ethan started to follow, the detective stopped him. 225

“Sir, may I ask your name?” “Ethan Bryant,” Ethan replied politely. “I’m Mr. Carter’s roommate…and his friend. If this is about coming back there with him, I would like to – in order to be there for him. However, if that is not allowed, I won’t make a scene.” “I appreciate that. Please, follow me.” Detective Sanders led us both through a large set of double doors. Thankful the detective had allowed Ethan come with me, I could feel my strength waning with each step we took. By the time we reached a large curtained window where we stopped, my hands were shaking. Ethan was standing to my left, and I saw his hand move toward me, but then he pulled it back. I couldn’t really process any kind of hurt or disappointment in that stunted gesture, because I assumed now that I was only one thin curtain and one pane of glass away from my parents’ dead bodies. It was odd how much this resembled a viewing area at a hospital nursery. You could see life that had just started and life that had just ended all behind a wall of glass. “Are you ready, Mr. Carter?” Detective Sanders asked in a quiet voice. I nodded, and he reached up, flipping a switch on the wall. A blue light came on over our heads which must have indicated our perceived readiness. I wished that I could scream that I wasn’t ready, that I would never be ready but after a minute, someone on the other side of the glass pulled back the curtain slowly. So fucking slowly, like it was something to cherish, something to marvel at, all I could do was feel sick. Looking at my feet, I kept my head down, it may have been childish, but I didn’t want to look until I had absolutely necessary. When I felt Ethan’s hand on my shoulder, I knew it was time, so I lifted my head, and all of the air left my lungs in a gush. My parents lay side by side on steel gurneys, covered to the shoulders with identical white sheets. They were still, pale, and utterly lifeless. My eyes fell on my mother’s face; my mother, the woman who had done everything for me. A discoloration on her forehead caught my eye. My hand went to 226

the glass and I bent over trying not to be sick as I realized what it was. My mother had been shot in the head. Oh, Jesus. “Jayden?” Ethan asked from some distance, his voice full of concern. My ears were ringing, and I felt so disconnected from everything, but I knew I had to make my voice work, so I started with nodding my head, either to tell him that I was okay, or to tell him that it was them, I wasn’t sure. “That’s them,” I choked out in a whisper. “Okay, Mr. Carter, why don’t we go talk now.” Detective Sanders led us away from the horror behind the curtain. *

*

*

Once we got back to the hotel, I listened dully as Ethan relayed our conversation with Detective Sanders to Lexi. I merely listened to the ghostly narrative of the events that had changed my life. “After the identification was made, Jayden and I went to an interview room with the officer and he told us what they know so far. Mr.…They were leaving the theater when a couple of street thugs approached them, asking for his wallet, her purse, and their jewelry. Mr. Carter refused, and they shot him. He had been standing in front of his wife in an effort to protect her, but the bullet went through him and into her. They were both shot again before the two individuals escaped. The couple was pronounced dead on the scene.” He finished in an even monotone. Even though he’d tried so hard to refrain from using their names, I still could feel the pain building just having to listen to it again. Why the hell hadn’t my father just give them what they asked for? Everything was replaceable! Everything…but them. Not able to listen anymore, I got up and went to the bed, my face into the pillow. I barely had time to take a breath before I started screaming. 227

* * * I sat in the small quiet room for hours after the funeral, until Lexi and Ethan told me that we should go. Josh and Kim had left right afterwards, Kimberly just couldn’t take being there. She and I had been cordial during the whole process, our grief outweighing the animosity, both too shocked and devastated by our parents’ brutal deaths to really put any energy into fighting. We were both thoroughly defeated, it didn’t matter who was right anymore. After our flight landed in Washington, and on the way to the house, I sat in the back of the back of Ethan’s Toyota. The silence on the drive home was absolute. There was no talking, no music; I didn’t even hear the purr of the engine as we made our way down the highway. I gazed out the window, watching the scenery pass trying desperately to contain the screaming that was inside my head, drowning everything else out. When we pulled up to the house, I got out without a word and walked directly up to the room, leaving the door open, knowing Ethan and Lexi would follow soon. I removed all of my clothing and went to the grid work of bars on the wall, grabbing four cuffs as I went, buckling them tightly onto my wrists and ankles, just as Ethan had taught me during our training. I saw the special pins in the cuffs that attached to points in the grid, and I walked over to the wall and locked first my ankles, and then my wrists to points on the grid that caused me to be spread wide. Then, I waited. It took a while for Ethan and Lexi to come into the room. Ethan walked up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. “Jayden….” “Whip me,” I said in a low but surprisingly calm voice, even though I was anything but calm and could still clearly hear the screaming in my head. He sighed. “Jayden, I don’t think....” he started, but I cut him off, my forehead was pressed against the metal, so I was 228

speaking to the wall. My eyes were closed and I didn’t turn my head, I didn’t want to see his pity. “Please…” I nearly sobbed, whispering now. “I need the pain.” He started to protest and I turned my head to look at him, my voice rising exponentially with every word. “My parents died thinking I fuck strange men for money. I can’t think about it!” I was almost screaming. “I can’t feel what I’m feeling right now. PLEASE…Mas…Ethan, please.” I finished and turned back to the wall as I heard him walking to the back wall to pick something out, I didn’t even care what it he was retrieving. Lexi kissed my shoulder softly. “Please don’t do this,” she said quietly. I turned my head away from her, I couldn’t face her. I felt like such a coward, such a fucking failure. Moving away, she sat on the floor. I didn’t want her to see this, but I knew she’d never leave. “Are you sure, Jayden?” he asked, and the conflict in his voice over what he was about to do was evident. I nodded and he stepped back before I heard a whistle through the air and felt the sharp sting on my back. “Harder!” I said through my teeth. He didn’t say anything but swung his instrument with slightly more force, and I grunted as it swiped across my skin just under the first strike. “Harder!” I said again, my voice breaking, grunting and panting through my teeth. The next blow burned my skin. I tensed and then let out a low moan. “Yes…” He continued to work over my increasingly sensitive skin in harder strokes. After a few minutes, I felt the screams start to tear out of my throat, screams of pain, frustration, and loss. I couldn’t scream loud enough to purge my overwhelming grief. My throat was sore from the screams and the sobs when Ethan finally said, “Enough,” and tossed something onto the floor. My legs had given out, and I was hanging by my arms. In the resulting silence, I heard Lexi crying quietly on the floor 229

next to me, she had never left me. They were both here for me as no one else has ever been. “Lexi, honey, release his cuffs,” Ethan instructed her. I felt his arms go around my waist to hold me up. As he took the strain off my arms, I felt them burning and starting to cramp from the exertion. When the cuffs were finally off, I was shaking all over and found that I could not stand. Ethan and Lexi half carried me to my room and lay me face down on my bed. “Lexi, get a cool wash cloth, I’m going to get my bag.” Ethan told her quietly, and then left the room. She was back in a minute and I felt her cool hands on my fiery skin. I knew what it must look like; I’d seen the pictures - angry red lines, raised welts, bruising that would probably cover my skin from my shoulders to my knees. Perfectly straight, perfectly formed lines as only an experienced Master like Ethan could deliver “Thank you,” I said in a broken whisper. Her breathing hitched just once, and the wash cloth paused, but then she resumed. Ethan came back a few minutes later and began to rub something on my back, buttocks, and legs, never saying a word. His touch was gentle and affectionate. Lexi sat at the head of the bed and stroked my hair. “What’s that?” Lexi asked in a whisper. I felt a sharp pinch in my arm as he answered. “A sedative,” Ethan answered after a minute or so and his voice sounded distant and slow. “He needs to rest.…” he finished as the curtain was pulled over my consciousness. The last thing I heard was Ethan’s anguished voice, a bit muffled as he said “I didn’t want to hurt him, Lexi. But I understand what he meant about the pain….” *

* *

The yelling woke me up. I was still lying on my stomach, naked under the sheet covering up to my waist. Turning my 230

head slowly towards the sound, I moved before I remembered the searing pain in my back. I hissed at the burning still torturing my skin and then noticed that the sun had set. I don’t know how long I had slept, but Ethan had been right, I felt better after resting. I hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep since the policemen showed up at the door with their news. Once fully awake, I could hear the voices more clearly. It sounded like they were in the hall outside my partially open door. “How could you do that to him – no matter what your fucking ‘title’?” A sneering voice accused in a low tone. I recognized that voice as my sister’s. Hadn’t she done enough to me? Now she was tormenting the only people who truly cared about me. If I could have moved, I would have picked her up and thrown her out. “You have inflicted more pain on him than I ever could,” Ethan snarled back, the venom in his voice was unmistakable. As my friend, as well as my Master, he was furious with Kimberly for the damage she had caused. “Stop. Please.” My voice rough and cracking because of the soreness in my throat. Kimberly threw open the door and ran to my bedside, while Ethan stood looking at me from just inside the doorway. I nodded and he left the room. It was time to talk to her; there was nothing else she could really do to me now. “Oh Jay….” Kimberly said, and I could tell by the thickness of her voice and the soft sniffles that she was crying. I opened my eyes and looked at her, and she turned on the bedside lamp. “Honey, why did you let him do this to you? Please…Please come and stay with Josh and me.” She ran her fingers through my hair, and I relaxed into her touch. Then I heard Lexi’s, screaming, almost hysterical, voice in the hall. “Why? Why would you let her in there with him? Hasn’t she tortured him enough? Ethan, let go of me! Please! P...please,” she whimpered, crying. “I can’t stand to see it again, Ethan. I can’t listen to his screams, his anguish. It broke my fucking heart!” I could hear her still struggling against him and 231

it sounded as though Ethan carried her down the hall and then down the stairs. It warmed me to know that Lexi was ready to fight for me. The fact that she cared so much about me gave me the strength to face my sister. “I didn’t let him do anything, Kimberly. I asked him … no, begged him really, to do it.” “Why would you do that, Jayden?” she growled her voice angry now. I turned my head away from her and faced the wall, still too sore to move. Unsure how to explain it to her, I still wanted to tell her the truth, because in this case, the truth may actually set me free. I wanted to be free from the guilt, and the secrets. “Because the physical pain is easier to deal with,” I said in a flat, expressionless voice. “My parents are dead. Worse, they died believing that I had sex with men for money. I’m sure they hated, and were disgusted by, me.” She gasped. “I don’t even have the energy to feel the revulsion and self-loathing anymore. All I can focus on now is the scorching pain. That’s why I begged him to do it.” “Oh Jay, why would you think that they believed that? Did they say something?” “They gave me a huge check at graduation and told me that you had told them that I was in trouble. Dad wouldn’t even look me in the eye the last time I saw him. You have never in your life been able to keep a secret. Why would I think you’d kept one that made you disgusted with me? Josh knows. God only knows how many other people you told about your sick freak of a brother - anything to make Kimberly the victim in need of sympathy.” “Oh honey, I did tell them that I was worried about you, but I would never…I’m sure they assumed because you refused their help for college that it was about money,” she said with a sigh. “And I may not understand what goes on here, but….” She ran her fingers through my hair. “You are my brother, Jay. I love you. I would never do that to you. And…and…” She 232

began to sob. “And I’m so sorry. Please, Jay, you’re all I have left. Please don’t hate me. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t lose you too, please…please…” I turned my head to look at her; she had her head in her hands. And with that, the wall between us fell. She really hadn’t betrayed me to our parents, she would get past our differences and we would be us again. I had missed her so much. “Kimmy….” I said, using my nickname for her for the first time since she walked in on Ethan and me. “Kim, of course I don’t hate you. You just have to understand that this is what I want, not some perversion that your sweet, innocent brother was forced into. Okay?” She nodded. “Now, I’m really tired and not all that comfortable talking to you with just a sheet on. I’ll come by in a few days, okay?” “Okay, Jay,” she sniffled and giggling a little. “I love you.” She said softly, and stroked my hair again. I told her I loved her too and my eyes closed slowly, hearing her leave just as I fell back to sleep. The past few days had just drained everything from me, and the sedative Ethan had given was still in my system. I wasn’t used to sleeping for such a long time in one position, especially on my stomach, so when I finally woke up, I was stiff. Someone was playing with my hair, and I opened my eyes slowly to see Lexi watching me. “Hey…” she said softly, smiling. “Hi.” Her hand moved from my hair to my face. “You okay?” Her eyes searched my face, and I nodded. Then, I pressed my cheek into her palm as she stroked it gently with her thumb and we stayed just like that. No more words were necessary.

233

Chapter 14 It was a moment that I had been thinking about for over a year; sitting on my sister’s couch with her leaning back into me, her head rested on my chest, and we were comfortable with each other. Kimberly had even made peace with Lexi before I drove her to the airport this morning. Deep down, Kimberly knew that Lexi was someone that I truly cared about, and someone that cared about me. She felt compelled to, if not befriend her, at least tolerate her. Though, I’m sure tolerating Ethan was going to take a little more work. “Hey J? Can we….” Kimberly asked just as my cell phone rang. It wasn’t a number that I recognized. Worse than that, it was a three-one-two area code – Chicago. “Hello?” I answered cautiously. After having listened to enough sympathetic callers, I had grown frustrated with hearing their ‘I’m so sorry, Jason’ – because of course they couldn’t get my name right. “Jayden?” The voice asked quietly. “Is this Jayden Carter?” Well, at least they knew my name. 234

“Yes, this is Jayden Carter,” I said rolling my eyes at Kimberly, she giggled quietly. “Jayden, this is Harold Rotes. I was your father’s attorney, and am trustee to his estate,” he said solemnly. I appreciated that even though he wanted to give his condolences, he held back. “Hello, Mr. Rotes. I remember you,” I said, picturing the older, balding, quiet man who used to stop by the house when I was younger with papers for dad to sign. Silently, I thanked my father for putting his affairs into such good order. Kimberly and I had barely had to do anything. “Jayden, I’ll get right to the point. There is trouble in your father’s company. The stock prices have fallen some since his death and the board is worried. There is a provision in your father’s will…well, maybe it would be better to discuss it in person. It would be helpful if you and your sister could come to Chicago and meet with me, and then the board,” he explained gravely. I don’t know anything about business; I was getting my Master’s in history for God’s sake. “I’ll talk to my sister, but I will definitely be there. You and I can meet when I arrive, and we can discuss things with the board on Monday.” I heard Mr. Rotes chuckle lightly on the phone. “I’m sorry, Jayden. You sound just exactly like your father when you put on your professional voice.” “Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said quietly, and then hung up the phone. “Jay, what do you need to talk to me about?” Her face was set and determined as I explained to her about the board and she relaxed. While she knew that I would take care of whatever it was, but she was happy to head out to Chicago with me. Josh had some time coming too, so he could go with us. Hesitantly, she even asked, if I wanted to take Ethan and I snorted. It wasn’t exactly ‘bring your Dom to work’ day. He had come 235

with me the last time I needed to go to Chicago, and with his history there, I think he’s more than met his quota. When I got home that night, Ethan was sitting at the table eating dinner. “I made enough for two, if you’re interested,” he said lightly, smiling at me. Things had become much more relaxed between us since the definition of our relationship had changed. I was still his sub, but I was also a Dom. Well, technically, I was a switch, someone that could confidently fill both roles. However, I felt that I was not really a switch, as the only one that I would ever sub for was Ethan. I filled a plate and sat down at the table with him while he poured me a glass of wine. “Thanks.” I took the merlot from him, having developed an appreciation for wine since I’d lived with Ethan. I liked to think that I had a similar influence on him, that I had enriched his life in some way. He had certainly enriched mine. “By the way, I got a call from my father’s attorney,” I began, might as well get it over with. “I need to go to Chicago for a few days.” “If you’d like company, all you need do is ask,” he offered. I told him that I while appreciated the offer but that Kimberly and Josh had to come with me anyway. “I didn’t think of that, I guess that she would. If he hassles you about anything and you need a good attorney, I know someone.” Always the optimist, I had to chuckle and he smiled. He offered to drive us to the airport, but I told him we’d just keep the car in long term parking – we wouldn’t be gone that long. The flight to Chicago was uneventful, well, unless you count Josh’s rendition of some eighties pop song for the flight attendants. They thought it was funny. Kimberly and I, however, changed seats when he went to the bathroom. It took him two trips through the nearly empty plane to find us as we sat very low in a couple of seats. Mr. Rotes had a car waiting for us at the airport. It still felt so strange to know that I had so much money. I had never really given it much thought when it was my parents’ money. Now, it was mine and Kimberly’s. We 236

literally didn’t know what to do with it. Josh both surprised and impressed me when he told Kimberly not to buy him a huge red jeep that he’d had his eye on. He said that we should discuss things with terms like P/E ratio, EPS, and market value with a reputable financial planner and get everything organized before we did anything else. I gaped at him, but he just shrugged. It took nearly an hour in traffic to get to my parents’ townhouse. Eerily, my childhood home looked exactly the same. Though for me, so much had changed since I’d been there last. Kimberly stopped dead on the sidewalk too. This would be the one event, more than any other, which drove the point home that our parents were dead. As we walked up the sidewalk to the house, I held my sister’s hand; she was shaking slightly next to me. I unlocked the front door. Some things had changed, as you would expect through the passing of time, but many other things had not. Our school pictures still lined the staircase, stacked one on top of the other, first Kimberly on top, then me – all the way up the stairs. My mother always made sure that neither of us felt the other was favored, she was just like that. I felt the weight settle in my chest just thinking of her. I waited in my father’s study for Mr. Rotes to arrive. It had been years since I’d been in here, but everything was much the same. While he had updated the phone and the computer, the big cherry wood desk was still the same. Sitting in his chair, I looked around where we’d had all of our talks - the ‘be nice to your sister’ talk, the ‘boys and girls are different’ talk, the ‘treat women right’ talk, and the ‘condom’ talk - all of them. I began to lament all of the talks that we would never have – the ‘wedding’ talk, the ‘kids of my own’ talk - none that would ever happen. As I took in the wall next to the desk, I noticed something that made my heart stop. The check and letter I had sent back were pinned to a corkboard hanging on the wall. I leaned over and pulled it down. 237

“You know, I asked him about that recently,” Mr. Rotes said from the doorway, startling me out of my thoughts. I looked over at him, and he must have seen something in my face. “He told me how you wanted to make it on your own steam. He said he kept it up there as a posted reminder of his son’s outstanding character.” With that, the weight of his statement hit me – my father wasn’t ashamed of me, he was proud of me even though I had done so many fucking things wrong. So many things…my relationship with my parents, with Kimberly, I made it so much worse than I needed to, putting them through so much grief, and my parents had no idea why. I should have just talked to them while I had had the chance. “What is it that you wanted to discuss with us?” Kimberly asked as she walked into the room. “It’s not very easy for us to be here, so if we could just get through this?” “Of course,” Mr. Rotes said lightly. “As you know, your father started his company from nothing, and built a rather large business from it. He was revered by his employees because he never lost touch with the people he worked with – he was their leader, more than their boss. With his death, people have started to become very worried. The stock price has fallen, and the board is at a loss on what to do about it. They see only one option. They need a Carter on the board.” I was stunned; he couldn’t be asking what it sounded like he was asking. “Mr. Rotes, with all due respect, I have a degree in American history. I’m not a businessman.” “No, but your brother-in-law here,” Rotes said as Josh and Kimberly came into the room, “has an MBA. They’re looking for a name, a figurehead. You can give them so much more than that, if you’re willing. I think our proposal should be that you be on the board for a year to calm peoples’ nerves. Then, you let Josh take your place. You would all have to move here, Josh would need to work closely with our other executives to 238

familiarize himself, but from what I’ve heard about him, I’m confident in his abilities.” I stared at Josh, and his open, but slightly smug, look. I assumed he was a just a jock. “Mr. Rotes, I still have two semesters left to get my Masters. I’ve worked…” I started but he cut me off. “Your father had mentioned that were accepted to UIC. I’ve talked to them. Your father was a pillar in the community, they would be honored for you to finish and accept your degree from them,” he said in a rush. With that statement, my last argument was lost. I knew that I owed it to my father to help save the company he had built; it was selfish of me to think of myself first right now. After having done everything for me, the least I could do was give my father’s company a year of my life. I looked at Josh who nodded at me. Then, I looked to Kimberly who did the same. “We’ll do it,” I said weakly, wondering how in God’s name I was going to explain it to Ethan. * * * The plane ride back was quiet. Kimberly gave me space to let me work through uprooting my life for the next year. She and Josh were excited about moving to Chicago, and I had given them my blessing to live in, and renovate, our parents’ townhouse. I thought it was fitting that eventually they would raise their children there because we’d had such a happy childhood there. When I arrived home, it was dark and quiet, and after leaving my jacket and shoes in the closet by the door, I went in search of Ethan, finding him in his den. He looked up, almost surprised to see me standing in his doorway. “I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.” “Well, the board accepted our proposal fairly quickly, so there was no real reason to stay. I had to come back and get things ready.” I replied, it would be better just to do it, I rationalized. 239

“What recommendations did you offer?” His jaw tightened, as it always did in times of stress. He knew there was something wrong as I avoided eye contact, my feet shifting in my discomfort. “That I serve on the board of directors for a year as a representative ‘Carter’. After that, Josh will take over,” I said solemnly, still looking at my shoes. “So, you’re giving notice?” he asked, his voice in a forced calm. Giving notice? Subs gave notice? Like a job? “Giving notice?” I asked, not fully sure what he was asking. “To move out,” he continued in a business-like tone. “Fine, after I inspect the space, I’ll refund your deposit.” “Ethan…” “No, Jayden. It’s not a big deal. I can always find another tenant,” he said, and went back to typing. I knew was upset, but that fucking hurt. Although, I had to remember he was panicked now at the possibility of having his only sub taken before he’s ready. I turned and left the room. It was eerie how calm he had taken that, but I was sure that would not be the end of it. When I entered my bedroom a few minutes later, I had to stifle a groan. Mr. Rotes may be taking care of the college transfer, but he certainly wasn’t going to pack for me. Deciding to put it off until tomorrow, as I was tired, and a little peeved at Ethan, I grabbed my laptop and started an email to Lexi. She’d kill me if she found out about this from anyone other than me. That thought made me chuckle as I started to type. “I thought you’d be packing….” Ethan said from the doorway nearly twenty minutes later. I looked up at him, but he didn’t say anything, so I went back to typing. “Jayden….” “Look, I know you want this space for you next tenant,” I said, injecting more venom into the last word. “But I am paid

240

up through the end of the month. I’ll be out before then.” The color slowly drained from his face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean….” I cut him off. “I know, but to hear you call me just a tenant – it pissed me off, Ethan.” I looked away. “I’m sorry,” he offered again, his hands balled up into fists at his sides. I hoped he wasn’t there for a session, because I would have safe-worded before the words were all the way out of his mouth. There was no way I would risk a repeat of our last session when he was upset. “I’m not used to having so many strong feelings, Jayden. I know that you have to go, and I know why, but that doesn’t make it any easier. You have come to be my friend, probably my closest friend. It is selfish of me to want to keep you here.” He looked at the floor and I sighed. “Ethan, you are probably my best friend too, if I needed to quantify it. I don’t want to live in Chicago for a year, but I caused my father enough grief. It’s my duty and really, my honor, to help save something he had worked so long to build.” He nodded and we said our goodnights. It was a long time before I fell asleep. Over next few days, while I was getting everything ready, Ethan was very quiet, only making a few comments on the houses I’d looked at online, but otherwise had kept to himself. I was having my stuff shipped to my parents’ townhouse – well, now Kim and Josh’s townhouse, until I decided on a house. Mr. Rotes had put me in touch with a fantastic realtor and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I found something. Honestly, I was excited about buying my first house. That simple transaction, more than any other, made me feel like an adult. Even though I’d been on my own since I had started college, I’d always had my parents to fall back on. Now, I would be standing alone, making my first major purchase. My life was changing so drastically so fast, I was just trying to keep up.

241

As I tossed the last two boxes into my truck, I caught Ethan watching me from the doorway. Just before he turned away, I caught the look of pain that ravaged his perfect face. My heart clenched at the sight. “Well, everything is finally finished. When I leave for Chicago tomorrow, all of my stuff should be there.” I knew that working in my father’s company was something I needed to do; something Kimberly needed to do, but that didn’t make leaving Ethan any easier. Over the last year and a half, somehow, amazingly, he had become my best friend. Even though I knew we would not lose contact, I would still miss our daily interactions. “I should probably get to bed, tomorrow is going to be a long day.” I turned toward the stairs when Ethan’s hand on my arm stopped me, the depth and clarity of the emotions shown in his eyes was staggering. “Wait….” he requested. He hesitated, and I searched his face. On the surface, he was calm, but I could see the tempest just underneath working to break free. “I wanted to ask you something.” “Sure, Ethan?” I was curious and somewhat concerned by his sudden awkwardness. “I….” he started then paused, looking down at the floor “Please, Ethan, what is it?” I asked, putting my hand on his shoulder. Whatever he wanted to ask, it was certainly difficult for him. “I wanted to ask you to….” he started again, and then looked up into my face. “No. I need for you to show me what you showed Lexi.” My brow furrowed, and I tried to figure out what he meant. Obviously he would have just as much trouble putting it any other way. Then, as Lexi’s soft voice came into my head, I understood.

242

“I’ve never made love before, it’s always been... I.. Well, I was a virgin when I came to Master Ethan. I’ve been with him for two years, and I’ve never been with anyone else. Would you make love to me, Jayden?” The dawning recognition must have registered in my face, because his eyes went to the floor again. He was obviously embarrassed by the request because he turned to go upstairs. This time, I stopped him, but not with a hand on his shoulder, but my taking his hand in mine. I nodded, and he squeezed my hand in response. We started up the stairs together, and he surprised me by bypassing the second floor and heading to the third. Through my shock, I realized that during all of my time here, I’d never seen Ethan bring anyone up to his room. He once told me that subs never slept in his bed, ever. However, I was no longer a sub – and tonight, it wasn’t about that relationship. Tonight, he was just Ethan, and I was just Jayden. He opened the door to his bedroom, and I was struck at its majestic beauty, artfully decorated in shades of blue with matching dark wood furniture, almost nautical in its color scheme. Just like everything else in Ethan’s life, it was ordered and meticulous in its form and function. He walked over to the side table and removed a small bottle from the top drawer, laying it on the top without a word. “I don’t know what love is, Jayden. I’ve spent my whole adult life trying to figure that out, but I can’t. I remember the feeling of my mother’s love from my childhood. Before my life went to hell, she made me feel safe, like a warm glow inside me. I have that same feeling for Lexi, and I feel the word when I look at her. But when we ‘made love’ in the playroom before her departure for New York, it felt like just another session. It wasn’t any different for me. I thought it would be different, that I would feel different. I’m starting to think that maybe… well, maybe he took that too – my ability to fall in love.” I couldn’t answer him. The overwhelming sadness in his face threatened to drown me, and I finally understood. Ethan experienced a feeling, that feeling that you get in the pit of your 243

stomach, that basest of instincts – but he had no frame of reference, he couldn’t process it. Like a small child that sees a puppy – they get that rush, that feeling that tells them that they want it, that they love it – but they have no concept of what that means. Ethan cannot discern the disparate granular levels of love. The love of a mother, the love of a wife, even the love of a friend – they are all the same to him. He had not found that one person that will contrast the intensity of romantic love from the comfort of platonic love. “It’s not that I don’t want it, it’s that I don’t think I’m capable of it,” he finished in a broken whisper. I didn’t stop to think, or allow him to think, I just let my emotions burst from behind the dam that was barely containing them and took his face in both my hands. Watching as the sadness left his eyes and was replaced by longing, I continued to stroke his soft skin as our lips met. This kiss wasn’t like others we’d shared. This kiss was tender and full of meaning; there was emotion there that I don’t think was ever present before. His arms slid around my waist as our kiss deepened, and I let my fingers move up to his soft unruly hair and he moaned as I toyed with it, letting the affection I feel for him flow through. He reached for the hem of my t-shirt and I released him just long enough for us to get both of our shirts off. When we came together again, I felt every inch of his lean, muscular chest against mine in an erotic sensation. I wanted to grind my hips into him and let him feel what he was doing to me, but I knew I had to be very careful with Ethan, and take things slowly. Gently, I walked him back towards the bed and we climbed into it. Pushing him back onto the pillows, I rested my body between his parted thighs and he gasped quietly as my hips came into contact with his, my nearly throbbing erection pressed tightly against his. Almost experimentally, he moved his hips and groaned at the friction. I kissed him again, wanting him to feel comfortable in his admittedly submissive position, while his hands roamed ceaselessly over my naked back and chest. I broke our kiss to 244

move slowly down his perfect body, starting with gentle open mouthed kisses on his neck and shoulders as he shifted beneath me and I smiled to myself. Next, I took one of his hardened nipples between my lips. When his head pushed back into the pillow and he moaned, I wondered if anyone had ever touched him in this way – tenderly, lovingly. I rubbed his other nipple with my thumb forcing a low breathless utterance of my name from his parted lips. His hips continued to grind slowly against mine, adding to the already mounting pressure of my arousal. I switched my mouth to his other nipple, and when he arched his back, I took the opportunity to slide his pajama pants down to his knees. Entwining his fingers in my hair as my lips moved over his stomach, his breathing accelerated. To relay my feelings of affection, I turned my head and let my cheek slide over the muscles of his abdomen, taking my time covering his stomach and sides with tender kisses. Moving down a bit farther, I finished removing his sleep pants before quickly removing my own. I was completely naked in bed with Ethan. I used my palms to gently push his legs apart, and then began to cover the insides of his thighs with soft open-mouthed kisses, spending good deal of time moving from his knee to just where his thigh meets his hip. Finally, I took his desperately hard erection into my mouth. Even though I had performed this act on him countless times, this time felt different, it felt much more intimate. If we were going to attempt what he wanted, he needed to be incredibly aroused. I felt the smooth texture of the head as my tongue passed over it. He was moaning incessantly now, his fingers tugging gently at my hair. For probably the first time in his life, he was feeling the underlying emotions, along with the physical sensations. I knew he was trying to stop himself from controlling my movements – which was good, because I was in charge now. Taking him deeper into my mouth, I was unable to stop the moan that reverberated around him. Slowly, his hips began to move, and I matched his rhythm, listening to him moaning and panting, rapidly losing that carefully cultivated control. Continuously, I teased, sucked him almost into my throat, and 245

when his hands released my hair and grasped desperately at the bed clothes, I knew that it was time. As if he’d read my thoughts, I felt him nudge my shoulder with the bottle he’d sat out earlier. I took it and rubbed my cock with a little of its contents. Again, I moaned around him in my mouth as my oversensitive erection twitched with the additional friction. Then I spread a moderate around his anus, being careful not to push him too far. Finally, I let him slid from my mouth and rubbed the lubricant onto his pulsing cock as he pumped it in and out of my hand, and then I drew his legs up and positioned myself. “Ethan?” He nodded, pushing himself onto me, and I felt the head of my cock slide effortlessly into him. Sucking in a breath, he whimpered very softly. I stopped to let him adjust to the penetration, but he wrapped his legs around my waist, and pulled me closer – and subsequently deeper into him. When I was about halfway there, he closed his eyes tightly. I stopped, and his head began to rock back and forth. That’s when I noticed his tears falling; his face was full of pain. Somehow, I knew the pain wasn’t physical. In his mind, he was back in that dark time of his life. Whether it was a flashback, or just a bad memory, I didn’t know, but I did know I had to refocus his attention, return his focus to me. Leaning forward, I laid my palm on his face. Wiping his tear streaked cheek; I pressed my lips against his forehead. His face was hot, flushed, and his breathing was uncontrolled. It hurt me that I was causing him pain, my heart ached for what he must be remembering; the severity of the trauma that would cause this kind of reaction in someone as strong as he was, it had to be devastating. Propping myself on my elbows, I took his face in both of my hands. “Ethan, it’s me. It’s just me, angel, open your eyes,” I said softly, trying to bring him back to me. His eyes opened, and more tears fell. In that moment, I would have done anything to take his pain away. He didn’t deserve it. When I began to pull 246

back, he used his legs to pull me forward again as he took deep breath, and then nodded. I took my hand from his face, and reached down to stroke him. As his hips began to move more fervently, so did mine, thrusting gently into him, penetrating him deeper with each forward movement. Eagerly, I stroked him in time with my rhythm. I had never made love to another man, and Ethan was incredibly tight. It took all of my concentration to keep my orgasm at bay. It seemed as if he had lost all measure of his careful control as his vocalizations became more pronounced, and his head was thrown back, as I steadily pushed into him. “Oh, God…” he whimpered as his hands grasped my arms, almost as if he just needed something to hold on to. He moaned, a low guttural sound, primal, as his orgasm threatened to overtake him, and I stroked him harder, desperate to get him there. “Fuck!” he cried, his grip tightening on my arms. “Fuck … Jayden … I love you,” he intoned as his orgasm shot through him and onto his stomach, his cock twitching and jerking in my hand as he came, his muscles tightening around me. His admission caught me so off guard that my control slipped, and I immediately followed, my own orgasm ripping through me as I cried out, filling him. My head dropped to his shoulder and I wrapped my arms around his chest. I held him against me feeling exposed and vulnerable. He clenched around me once, twice, spasmodically as his orgasm started to subside forcibly drawing my attention to our position. This wasn’t about domination or submission any longer, and I couldn’t justify to myself that I had just made love to another man. It called into question everything I ever knew about my own sexuality. If my attraction to him went beyond my submission, what did that mean, about who I was and what kind of relationships I was looking for? I never considered, never even entertained the notion that I could be gay. Had that changed? After a moment, we lay panting in the aftermath of what I can only describe as sweet, emotional love making. In at least 247

some fundamental way, I do love Ethan. While I’m not sure I could be in love with him, he will always be very special to me. Even though he isn’t capable of feeling that love, I hope that I was able to let that flow through to him. I hope he was able to feel at least some degree of the emotion I hold for him, and I wanted him to be able to feel what it’s like to be loved, to be wanted in every way, not just physically desired. I leaned forward gently, feeling my softened cock slide from him, and kissed his forehead. After a while, I moved my lips down slowly and kissed him deeply. It wasn’t a sexual kiss, it was a grateful kiss; he had just let me share something very special with him. He smiled at me as I moved to climb out of the bed, but he stopped me swiftly with a hand on my arm. “Thank you,” he said softly, and I leaned down to kiss him once again before standing. The next day, I was leaving for Chicago. Now that I was a Dom as well, I knew that the sexual part of our relationship, the BDSM part, may be coming to a close. The pain of it was almost a physical ache, and reminded me of my day in the playroom, the day he gave me that one word that I could use to walk away. Never, in the whole time that Ethan and I had been in our relationship did I think I would use that word. I couldn’t keep him hanging here, waiting for me for an entire year. He needed to move on, and find another submissive, someone that could help him keep his dominant identity, to remind him of who he was. As I walked to his bedroom door, full of sorrow for our impending separation, I laid my cuff on his dresser. Then, I turned to him and finally let my emotions show. “Sunset, Master Ethan.”

248

Epilogue Kimberly, Josh, and I assimilated ourselves into the corporate environment without much fanfare. The other executives welcomed us, especially the ones that had been loyal to our father. They knew that we were there to carry on his legacy, and they appreciated us for it. Kimberly and I had made peace in our relationship. She seemed to be more understanding of our lifestyle, and that caused less friction between us. Of course, I could always count on Josh to make the occasional off-color joke about being ‘tied-up’ rather than busy, but even he was starting to find a place in my life. To this day, I will wonder if he knows that his cousin Nicole is a Domme. It’s not my place to out her, though, so I keep my silence. With my inheritance, I’d been able to buy a nice large house, and was putting together a room much like Ethan’s. I had most of the equipment installed, the walls soundproofed, and I was just waiting for some of the more extravagant accessories to arrive. Before, when the money had belonged to my parents, I’d hated having it. I felt undeserving. Now, I 249

welcomed it. It gave me the freedom to do what I wanted and with the right equipment. I wished that Lexi were here. She would know what to do about Ethan - it had been weeks since he and I had talked and our last conversation was awkward and abrupt. It seems like forever since I’d seen her. We constantly talked over IM, text, and webcam whenever we were able to get together. I knew that she had graduated, and was talking about staying in New York. Thankfully, she had a substantial nest egg to live off of, so she wasn’t too worried about it. She had mentioned an interview last week, but I think she’s still waiting to hear. I had picked up beer and pizza, and was looking forward to a relaxing night. My phone beeped, and I got a text from the maid to let me know I had a couple of deliveries. I smiled to myself. Ethan had become distant and brooding since our experience that last night. If it made him happy, I wasn’t going to complain if he got me a present. Just the fact that he thought that much of me made me feel good. I instructed Consuela to have the things put in the playroom. Thankfully I had found a maid that didn’t balk at the sight of all of the bondage equipment. In fact, she had been giving me a certain look lately that made me smile. I pulled into the drive, and then carried dinner into the house. I set it on the table and then headed straight up the stairs. My room was on the second floor, as Ethan’s was and I headed in. At first, I didn’t notice anything, but then my eyes were drawn to a large wrapped box with a big red bow. It had to be a new piece of equipment, but what had I not bought? God, I loved the way his mind worked. As we walked over to the box, I saw another smaller box sitting on the table. It was wrapped in the same paper, and had a matching bow. I picked up the smaller box. It was surprisingly heavy. I thought about calling Ethan, but I figured I’d see what was in the box first... So, I removed the wrapping to reveal a black leather case. It looked like a briefcase, only it was larger. Curious, I popped the latches on the front and opened it. There 250

were half a dozen titanium collars and wrist cuffs. My breath caught as I looked at them. They were beautiful. I picked up one of the collars and examined it. Inside each one was inscribed: Devoted servant of Master Jayden - I loved them. I knew from talking to others in our lifestyle that some had inscribed ”Property of” or “Owned by” but I liked this better. It showed that whoever was wearing the collar was serving me of their will. They were devoted to my needs. Each collar also had my kanji inscribed on the front, ‘pride’. It was fitting. The wrist cuffs were the same, only on a smaller scale. My heart was in my throat as I walked over to the larger box on the floor. I called Ethan then, and thanked him for the collars. He asked if I had opened the larger box, and I told him I hadn’t. Oddly, he asked me to put him on speaker before I did. It looked like an old-fashioned box with a large lid, so I grasped it firmly and lifted it off ready to look inside. Once the lid was removed, however, the sides fell away to reveal… “LEXI!” I cried. She was in the standard submissive position that Ethan had taught me years ago, and she was gloriously naked. I was stunned. She was the very last thing on earth I expected to be in that box. “She wants you to collar her, Jayden. She wants to be your sub.” Ethan said. “She has been begging me to train you as a Dom since before she went to New York. I told her then that I didn’t have enough time, you weren’t ready then. Finally, after we got back from our trip to see her, I was able to start.” I knelt in front of Lexi, and took her face in my hands. She looked up at me and smiled softly. I shook my head slowly, and she blanched. “I want you as so much more than just my sub, Lexi.” I said softly, stroking her face which brightened slightly. “I have been in love with you for so damn long.” The shock registered on her face first, and then a deep seated emotion that I couldn’t quite identify. Her eyes filled with tears, but I didn’t hesitate to keep going. I needed to get this out. “It may have started that night at the bar – you told me that I wasn’t going to find what I 251

was looking for there. You were wrong. I found everything I ever needed right there – the night I met you.” Her hand came to my face then, and I leaned into her palm. She wasn’t running, she wasn’t screaming. “I don’t care how we work out our need for this lifestyle. You can sub with Ethan, or you can wear my collar, or we can collar a sub together. We will do what we need to in order to be happy together.” She still hadn’t said anything. “Say you want this Lexi, please. That you want us?” I pleaded, pulling her into my arms. “I do want this. I would have settled for just being your sub. I’ve loved you for so long.” She said softly, and I could have died right there. She loved me. She wanted to be with me. She wanted us… She wasn’t in love with… Then I stopped dead picked up the phone, he was gone. I sighed. I think at some point after our last night together, he realized that the feelings he has for Lexi aren’t romantic love. He loves her, yes. He loves me, yes. But I don’t think love he feels for us is based on a need for romance, it’s based on our friendship and our bond. I knew that one day it would happen for him though. He is too perfect to be alone, now that he knows what he needs. *

*

*

A few weeks after she told me that she loved me, Lexi and I were in the car on our way back to our house when my cell phone beeped with a message. The only thing displayed was a date and a time, but it made me smile. I looked over at Lexi, and she smiled back. She took my hand and held it between us. I don’t think we could have been happier. My heart hurt when I thought of Ethan. We had decided that I was too close to her to really be able to Master her well. I wouldn’t be 252

able to test her limits effectively, or discipline her harshly as required. It just wouldn’t work for us. So we decided on another plan. I pulled up in front of the house, and saw that the truck was still there. Good. This would be an interesting conversation to say the least. I opened Lexi’s door, and we went inside. He was nowhere to be found. It wasn’t until we ascended to the second floor that we found him in his room. I asked him to follow us down to our playroom. It was the room that Lexi and I role played in when we wanted to enjoy bondage and domination together. Today, it would serve a different purpose. “We asked you specifically not to enter this room, Thomas.” I said sternly. He looked down at the floor, obviously ashamed of disobeying our wishes. Good, that was very good. I knew when he became our boarder that he was different. The first few that we interviewed just weren’t suited to our lifestyle, we saw that instantly. But Thomas, he was naturally subservient and he had a well sculpted body. Lexi and I instantly knew that we would at least try to collar him. “Now, it seems that you have a decision to make…”

253

A sneak preview of -

A House of Cards the thought-provoking sequel to The Forbidden Room.

ETHAN BRYANT The soft light filtering through my bedroom window woke me. I looked around and noticed two things virtually simultaneously, I was naked and I was alone. As I rolled to check my bedside clock, the soreness brought with it a flood of memories from the previous night. Jayden’s lips against mine, his face as we made love, and that feeling in my chest when I told him that I loved him. That feeling warmed me, it made me feel whole. That is, until I saw the time. He was gone. Last night had been our farewell, and he had left early this morning. I hurled my clock, the current bane of my existence, at the wall. It shattered on impact, further damage being inflicted by its not so subtle contact with the floor. The ache in my chest grew as I lay in bed. It wasn’t just my body that was naked; my soul had been laid bare as well. My throat burned as I watched the ceiling blankly. A sob broke through my sealed lips, and I could no longer contain my anguish at his absence. I rolled slowly, careful of my lingering discomfort and buried my face in the pillow. The catharsis continued until I was utterly spent. I don’t know if the release lasted minutes, or hours but when it was over I was drained. I had just enough energy to roll back onto my side and fall asleep.

254

When I awoke again, it was dark and I heard a distant pounding. It certainly wasn’t for me. I had no one. No one in the entire state of Washington cared enough about me to pound on my door. Within minutes, it had stopped anyway. I closed my eyes again, and contemplated getting up to use the bathroom when my bedroom door flew open. I blinked as the light from the hall burned my eyes and I saw a slight figure silhouetted there. “What the fuck, Ethan? I’ve been calling you for hours!” Nicole yelled, and then softer, away from me she said. “No, Jayden he’s here. He looks okay, I’ll call you back.” She waited briefly for his responses and then snapped her phone shut. I closed my eyes and rolled over onto my stomach, trying to deaden the sound of her voice. “You know I’m still your emergency contact at the hospital, right?” Damn, I missed my shift. I just can’t bring myself to fucking care. “Why are you here?” I asked, half into the pillow, surprised when my voice cracked. God, I even sounded broken. Would there ever be a point in my life when I would just be fucking happy? “The hospital called me. I called you and didn’t get an answer so I called Emmett for Jayden’s cell. I didn’t know he… Well, Jayden asked me to use the key under the porch to come and check on you.” I felt her sit lightly on the bed beside me, and then she stroked my hair. “Did you two have some kind of fight?” She asked in a concerned whisper. “No. He had a family obligation and had to move to Chicago. He left… He left this morning.” I said softly, my heart breaking a little more on each word. “This won’t happen again, Nicole. I’ll call the hospital tomorrow and take an indefinite leave.” “Do you want to talk about it?” She asked, now stroking my upper back. It felt nice, soothing. It reminded me of something, something I had surely buried. I pushed it away. I didn’t know if I could voice my feelings right now. They were 255

so raw, they tore at my insides. I wasn’t used to feeling like this. I had been pushing everything down for so long, feeling numb for so long. They opened this fucking hole in me, and then just deserted me. I shook my head, and after a while she got up and left. I heard her starting to dial someone as she went out the door. I had a feeling I knew who that someone was. I finally heard the front door close and decided to take care of a few things. The bathroom was first on the agenda, and then I headed downstairs. I didn’t bother getting dressed, knowing that the curtains were all closed. I always kept the curtains closed; I didn't like people looking at me. It had been like that since I was a kid, since… Well, for a long time, anyway. After getting a glass of ice, I headed to my liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of very old, very expensive scotch. It was half-full, or was it half-empty? I hadn’t needed this in a long time, but I needed it today. On the way back to my bedroom, I stopped on the second floor landing. It was like I couldn’t go any further. I turned, and was in his room before I realized I had even moved. The stark emptiness of the room made my breath catch. It was almost like he’d never been here, like I had imagined him. I sat down on the carpet and rested my back against the wall. The scotch burned as it hit my throat. I didn’t care. I needed the buzz, I needed the numb. After my third scotch, my mind drifted back to the first time I had ever seen Jayden. I had been nervous about taking on a boarder, but I was also sick of being alone. Lexi said that maybe bringing a stranger into my home would help me to be more comfortable around people. Maybe it would even help me to make a few friends. Is that really what I wanted? I was comfortable being alone. As hard as it was, it was easier than being around people. I don’t know what happened with Lexi, she was just different – it had always been that way. She had become more than just my sub. This had never happened to me before. I had heard of Doms getting too close to their subs, but I never thought it would happen to me. I had decided to let it run its 256

course. It might have headed in a direction I couldn’t go, but I couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing her again. The voice on the phone had been pleasant enough. His southern accent was strangely alluring - I found myself asking him inane questions just to listen to him speak. With his schedule and his plans, he seemed to be an excellent choice for a roommate. I waited for him in the front room, half watching out the window for his arrival. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason for my edginess. I just put it down to meeting a new person. Then, I saw him. His soft blond hair was blowing gently in the mild breeze as he walked up the walk. His body was lean and muscular under his t-shirt and jeans. I had the insane thought that I wanted to run my hand over his chest. But, as cliché as it sounds, it was his eyes that I found the most captivating. They were the color of the ocean at midday, and just as warm. I couldn’t help but smile as I opened the door. I didn’t know then that I was opening that door to so much more than just my house.

257

J. P. Barnaby Erotic fiction is more than just moans, grunts, and physical pleasure. To J. P. Barnaby, erotic fiction consists not only of the mechanics of physical love, but the complex characters and relationships that lead to those all encompassing feelings of need and longing. Sex without context is merely sex - but sex coupled with attraction, with explosive repercussions - that is good erotic fiction. J. P. authors all different kinds of erotic fiction - gay, straight, male, female, romantic, and dark. This first novel, The Forbidden Room, is a culmination of practical experience and wild fantasy that comes together to draw the reader in to Ethan's and Jayden's world of erotic BDSM. For more information on J. P. Barnaby: Official Website: http://www.DefinatelyStaying.com Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/JPBarnaby

258