The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom

THE HAPPINESS HYPOTHESIS J o n a t h a n H a i d t t e a c h e s psychology a t the University Virginia T h i s is his first b o o k for t h e g e n e r a l r e a d e r

ALSO BY JONATHAN

Flourishing:

Positive

Psychology and ( co-editor)

HAIDT

the

Live

Well-Lived

THE HAPPINESS HYPOTHESIS

JONATHAN HAIDT Putting Ancient Wisdom and Philosophy to the Test of Modern Science

arrow

books

Published by Arrow Books, 2 0 0 6 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 Copyright © Jonathan Haidt, 2 0 0 6 J o n a t h a n Haidt h a s asserted his right u n d e r t h e Copyright, D e s i g n s a n d Patents Act 1 9 8 8 to be identified as the a u t h o r of this work This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher's prior c o n s e n t in any f o r m of binding or cover other than that in which it is p u b l i s h e d a n d without a similar condition, including this condition, being i m p o s e d on the s u b s e q u e n t p u r c h a s e r First published in G r e a t Britain in 2 0 0 6 by William H e i n e m a n n R a n d o m H o u s e , 20 Vauxhall Bridge Road, London S W 1 V 2 S A www.randomhouse.co.uk A d d r e s s e s for c o m p a n i e s within T h e R a n d o m H o u s e G r o u p L i m i t e d c a n be f o u n d at: w w w . r a n d o m h o u s e . c o . u k The Random House Group Limited Reg. No. 9 5 4 0 0 9 A C I P c a t a l o g u e record for this b o o k is available f r o m the British Library ISBN: 0099478897 I S B N 13: 9 7 8 0 0 9 9 4 7 8 8 9 8

—_ ^ ^U 17 o

J? O V _

Mixed Sources J Product group from w*ll-manjg«d forests and other con tool ltd sources. www.fsc.org Cert no. TT-COC-2139 < c 1996 Forest Stewardship Council

Printed i n the U K b y C P I B o o k m a r q u e , Croydon, C R O 4 T D

for Jayne

i

i t

Contents Introduction:

Too

Muck

Wisdom

1

T h e Divided Self

2

C h a n g i n g Your M i n d

3

R e c i p r o c i t y with a V e n g e a n c e

4

T h e Faults of Others

5

T h e Pursuit of H a p p i n e s s

6

Love and Attachments

7

T h e U s e s o f Adversity

8

T h e Felicity of Virtue

9

Divinity W i t h or W i t h o u t G o d

10

Happiness C o m e s from Between

1 1

C o n c l u s i o n : On B a l a n c e

Acknowledgments Notes References Index vii

Introduction: Too Much Wisdom W H A T S H O U L D I DO, h o w s h o u l d I live, a n d w h o m s h o u l d I b e c o m e ? M a n y of us a s k s u c h q u e s t i o n s , a n d , m o d e r n life b e i n g w h a t it is, we don't h a v e to g o far t o find a n s w e r s . W i s d o m i s n o w s o c h e a p a n d a b u n d a n t t h a t i t f l o o d s over u s f r o m c a l e n d a r p a g e s , tea b a g s , b o t t l e c a p s , a n d m a s s e - m a i l m e s s a g e s f o r w a r d e d by w e l l - m e a n i n g f r i e n d s . We are in a w a y like r e s i d e n t s of J o r g e L u i s B o r g e s ' s Library of Babel—an infinite library w h o s e b o o k s c o n tain every p o s s i b l e string o f letters a n d , t h e r e f o r e , s o m e w h e r e a n e x p l a n a t i o n o f why t h e library e x i s t s a n d h o w t o u s e it. B u t B o r g e s ' s l i b r a r i a n s s u s p e c t that they will never find that b o o k a m i d the m i l e s of n o n s e n s e .

O u r p r o s p e c t s a r e better. F e w o f o u r p o t e n t i a l s o u r c e s o f w i s d o m a r e n o n s e n s e , a n d m a n y a r e entirely true. Yet, b e c a u s e o u r library i s a l s o e f f e c tively i n f i n i t e — n o o n e p e r s o n c a n ever r e a d m o r e t h a n a tiny f r a c t i o n — w e f a c e t h e p a r a d o x o f a b u n d a n c e : Q u a n t i t y u n d e r m i n e s t h e quality o f o u r e n g a g e m e n t . W i t h s u c h a v a s t a n d w o n d e r f u l library s p r e a d out b e f o r e u s , w e o f t e n s k i m b o o k s o r r e a d j u s t the reviews. W e might already h a v e e n c o u n t e r e d the G r e a t e s t I d e a , t h e insight that w o u l d h a v e t r a n s f o r m e d u s h a d w e s a v o r e d it, t a k e n it to heart, a n d w o r k e d it into our lives. T h i s is a b o o k a b o u t ten G r e a t I d e a s . E a c h c h a p t e r is an a t t e m p t to savor o n e idea that h a s b e e n d i s c o v e r e d by several of the world's c i v i l i z a t i o n s — t o q u e s t i o n it in light of w h a t we n o w k n o w f r o m s c i e n t i f i c r e s e a r c h , a n d to extract f r o m it the l e s s o n s that still apply to o u r m o d e r n lives.

ix

Introduction: Too Much Wisdom x I am a s o c i a l p s y c h o l o g i s t . I do e x p e r i m e n t s to try to f i g u r e o u t o n e corner o f h u m a n s o c i a l life, a n d m y c o r n e r i s m o r a l i t y a n d t h e m o r a l e m o t i o n s . I am a l s o a t e a c h e r . I t e a c h a l a r g e i n t r o d u c t o r y p s y c h o l o g y c l a s s at t h e U n i v e r s i t y of Virginia in w h i c h I try to e x p l a i n t h e e n t i r e f i e l d of p s y c h o l o g y in t w e n t y - f o u r l e c t u r e s . I h a v e to p r e s e n t a t h o u s a n d r e s e a r c h f i n d i n g s on e v e r y t h i n g f r o m t h e s t r u c t u r e o f t h e r e t i n a t o t h e w o r k i n g s o f love, a n d t h e n h o p e t h a t m y s t u d e n t s will u n d e r s t a n d a n d r e m e m b e r i t all. A s I s t r u g g l e d w i t h this c h a l l e n g e in my first y e a r of t e a c h i n g , I r e a l i z e d that several i d e a s k e p t r e c u r r i n g a c r o s s l e c t u r e s , a n d that o f t e n t h e s e i d e a s h a d b e e n s t a t e d e l o q u e n t l y b y p a s t t h i n k e r s . T o s u m m a r i z e t h e i d e a that o u r emotions, our reactions to events, a n d s o m e mental illnesses are c a u s e d by t h e m e n t a l filters t h r o u g h w h i c h we l o o k at t h e world, I c o u l d n o t say it a n y more concisely than S h a k e s p e a r e : " T h e r e is nothing either good or bad, but t h i n k i n g m a k e s i t so." 1 I b e g a n t o u s e s u c h q u o t a t i o n s t o h e l p m y s t u d e n t s r e m e m b e r the big ideas in psychology, a n d I began to w o n d e r just how many such ideas there were. T o find o u t , I r e a d d o z e n s o f w o r k s o f a n c i e n t w i s d o m , m o s t l y f r o m the world's three great z o n e s o f c l a s s i c a l t h o u g h t : India (for e x a m p l e , t h e U p a n i s h a d s , the B h a g a v a d G i t a , t h e s a y i n g s o f t h e B u d d h a ) , C h i n a ( t h e A n a l e c t s o f C o n f u c i u s , t h e T a o t e C h i n g , t h e w r i t i n g s o f M e n g T z u a n d o t h e r philoso p h e r s ) , a n d t h e c u l t u r e s o f the M e d i t e r r a n e a n (the O l d a n d N e w T e s t a m e n t s , the G r e e k a n d R o m a n p h i l o s o p h e r s , t h e K o r a n ) . I a l s o r e a d a variety o f other w o r k s o f p h i l o s o p h y a n d literature f r o m the last five h u n d r e d years. Every t i m e I f o u n d a p s y c h o l o g i c a l c l a i m — a s t a t e m e n t a b o u t h u m a n n a t u r e or t h e w o r k i n g s of the m i n d or h e a r t — I w r o t e it d o w n . W h e n e v e r I f o u n d an idea e x p r e s s e d in several p l a c e s a n d t i m e s I c o n s i d e r e d it a p o s s i b l e G r e a t Idea. B u t rather t h a n m e c h a n i c a l l y listing t h e t o p t e n all-time m o s t widespread psychological ideas of h u m a n k i n d , I d e c i d e d that coherence w a s m o r e i m p o r t a n t t h a n f r e q u e n c y . I w a n t e d to write a b o u t a s e t of i d e a s that w o u l d fit together, b u i l d u p o n e a c h other, a n d tell a story a b o u t h o w h u m a n b e i n g s c a n f i n d h a p p i n e s s a n d m e a n i n g i n life. H e l p i n g p e o p l e f i n d h a p p i n e s s a n d m e a n i n g i s p r e c i s e l y t h e goal o f t h e n e w field of positive psychology, 2 a f i e l d in w h i c h I h a v e b e e n a c t i v e , 3 so this b o o k is in a way a b o u t the o r i g i n s of p o s i t i v e p s y c h o l o g y in a n c i e n t wisd o m a n d t h e a p p l i c a t i o n s o f p o s i t i v e p s y c h o l o g y today. M o s t o f t h e r e s e a r c h

Introduction: Too Much Wisdom

xi

I will c o v e r w a s d o n e by s c i e n t i s t s w h o w o u l d n o t c o n s i d e r t h e m s e l v e s p o s i tive p s y c h o l o g i s t s . N o n e t h e l e s s , I h a v e d r a w n o n t e n a n c i e n t i d e a s a n d a great variety of m o d e r n r e s e a r c h f i n d i n g s to tell t h e b e s t story I c a n a b o u t t h e c a u s e s o f h u m a n f l o u r i s h i n g , a n d t h e o b s t a c l e s t o well b e i n g t h a t w e place in our own paths. T h e story begins with a n a c c o u n t o f h o w the h u m a n m i n d w o r k s . N o t a full a c c o u n t , o f c o u r s e , j u s t two a n c i e n t truths that m u s t b e u n d e r s t o o d bef o r e y o u c a n take a d v a n t a g e o f m o d e r n p s y c h o l o g y t o i m p r o v e your life. T h e first truth is t h e f o u n d a t i o n a l idea of this book: T h e mind is divided i n t o p a r t s that s o m e t i m e s conflict. L i k e a rider on the b a c k of an e l e p h a n t , t h e c o n s c i o u s , r e a s o n i n g part o f t h e m i n d h a s only limited control o f w h a t t h e elep h a n t d o e s . N o w a d a y s , w e k n o w t h e c a u s e s o f t h e s e divisions, a n d a f e w ways to help the rider a n d t h e e l e p h a n t work b e t t e r as a t e a m . T h e s e c o n d idea is S h a k e s p e a r e ' s , a b o u t h o w "thinking m a k e s it s o . " (Or, as B u d d h a 4 said, "Our life is the creation of our m i n d . " ) B u t we c a n improve this a n c i e n t i d e a today by explaining why m o s t people's m i n d s have a bias toward s e e i n g threats a n d e n g a g i n g in u s e l e s s worry. We c a n a l s o do s o m e t h i n g to c h a n g e this b i a s b y u s i n g three t e c h n i q u e s that i n c r e a s e h a p p i n e s s , o n e a n c i e n t a n d two very new. T h e s e c o n d s t e p i n t h e story i s t o give a n a c c o u n t o f our s o c i a l l i v e s — again, not a c o m p l e t e a c c o u n t , j u s t two truths, widely k n o w n b u t n o t sufficiently appreciated. O n e is the G o l d e n Rule. Reciprocity is the m o s t important tool for getting a l o n g with p e o p l e , a n d I'll s h o w you h o w y o u c a n u s e it to solve p r o b l e m s in your own life a n d avoid b e i n g exploited by t h o s e w h o u s e reciprocity a g a i n s t you. However, reciprocity is m o r e than j u s t a tool. It is a l s o a c l u e a b o u t w h o we h u m a n s are a n d w h a t we n e e d , a c l u e t h a t will b e i m p o r t a n t for u n d e r s t a n d i n g the e n d o f t h e larger story. T h e s e c o n d truth in this part of the story is that we are all, by n a t u r e , hypocrites, a n d this is why it is so hard for us to follow the G o l d e n R u l e faithfully. R e c e n t p s y c h o logical r e s e a r c h h a s u n c o v e r e d the m e n t a l m e c h a n i s m s that m a k e u s s o g o o d a t s e e i n g t h e slightest s p e c k i n our neighbor's eye, a n d s o b a d a t s e e i n g t h e log in o u r own. If you k n o w what your m i n d is up to, a n d why y o u so easily s e e t h e world through a distorting lens of g o o d a n d evil, you c a n t a k e s t e p s to r e d u c e your s e l f - r i g h t e o u s n e s s . \ o u c a n t h e r e b y - r e d u c e the f r e q u e n c y o f c o n flicts with others w h o are e q u a l l y c o n v i n c e d pf their r i g h t e o u s n e s s .

Introduction: Too Much Wisdom xii A t this p o i n t i n t h e story, we'll b e r e a d y t o a s k : W h e r e d o e s h a p p i n e s s c o m e from? T h e r e are several different " h a p p i n e s s h y p o t h e s e s . " O n e is that h a p p i n e s s c o m e s f r o m g e t t i n g w h a t y o u w a n t , b u t w e all k n o w ( a n d res e a r c h c o n f i r m s ) t h a t s u c h h a p p i n e s s i s s h o r t - l i v e d . A m o r e p r o m i s i n g hyp o t h e s i s i s that h a p p i n e s s c o m e s f r o m w i t h i n a n d c a n n o t b e o b t a i n e d b y m a k i n g t h e world c o n f o r m t o y o u r d e s i r e s . T h i s i d e a w a s w i d e s p r e a d i n t h e ancient world: B u d d h a in India a n d the Stoic philosophers in ancient G r e e c e a n d R o m e all c o u n s e l e d p e o p l e t o b r e a k their e m o t i o n a l a t t a c h ments to people and events, which are always unpredictable and uncontrollable, a n d t o c u l t i v a t e i n s t e a d a n a t t i t u d e o f a c c e p t a n c e . T h i s a n c i e n t idea deserves respect, and it is certainly true that changing your mind is u s u a l l y a m o r e e f f e c t i v e r e s p o n s e t o f r u s t r a t i o n t h a n i s c h a n g i n g t h e world. H o w e v e r , I will p r e s e n t e v i d e n c e that this s e c o n d v e r s i o n o f t h e h a p p i n e s s h y p o t h e s i s i s w r o n g . R e c e n t r e s e a r c h s h o w s that t h e r e a r e s o m e t h i n g s worth striving for; t h e r e a r e e x t e r n a l c o n d i t i o n s o f life that c a n m a k e y o u lastingly h a p p i e r . O n e o f t h e s e c o n d i t i o n s i s r e l a t e d n e s s — t h e b o n d s w e f o r m , a n d n e e d t o f o r m , with o t h e r s . I'll p r e s e n t r e s e a r c h s h o w i n g w h e r e love c o m e s f r o m , w h y p a s s i o n a t e love a l w a y s c o o l s , a n d w h a t k i n d o f love i s " t r u e " love. I'll s u g g e s t that t h e h a p p i n e s s h y p o t h e s i s o f f e r e d b y B u d d h a and the Stoics should b e a m e n d e d : H a p p i n e s s c o m e s f r o m within, and h a p p i n e s s c o m e s f r o m w i t h o u t . W e n e e d t h e g u i d a n c e o f b o t h a n c i e n t wisd o m a n d m o d e r n s c i e n c e t o g e t t h e b a l a n c e right. T h e next s t e p i n this story a b o u t f l o u r i s h i n g i s t o look a t t h e c o n d i t i o n s o f h u m a n growth a n d d e v e l o p m e n t . W e ' v e all h e a r d that w h a t d o e s n ' t kill u s m a k e s u s stronger, b u t that i s a d a n g e r o u s o v e r s i m p l i f i c a t i o n . M a n y o f t h e things that don't kill y o u c a n d a m a g e y o u for life. R e c e n t r e s e a r c h o n " p o s t t r a u m a t i c g r o w t h " r e v e a l s w h e n a n d w h y p e o p l e g r o w f r o m adversity, a n d w h a t you c a n d o t o p r e p a r e y o u r s e l f f o r t r a u m a , o r t o c o p e with i t a f t e r t h e f a c t . W e h a v e a l s o all h e a r d r e p e a t e d u r g i n g s t o c u l t i v a t e v i r t u e i n ours e l v e s , b e c a u s e v i r t u e i s its o w n r e w a r d , b u t t h a t , too, i s a n o v e r s i m p l i f i c a t i o n . I'll s h o w h o w c o n c e p t s o f v i r t u e a n d m o r a l i t y h a v e c h a n g e d a n d n a r r o w e d over t h e c e n t u r i e s , a n d h o w a n c i e n t i d e a s a b o u t v i r t u e a n d m o r a l d e v e l o p m e n t m a y h o l d p r o m i s e f o r o u r o w n a g e . I'll a l s o s h o w h o w p o s i t i v e p s y c h o l o g y is b e g i n n i n g to deliver on t h a t p r o m i s e by o f f e r i n g y o u a w a y to " d i a g n o s e " a n d d e v e l o p your o w n s t r e n g t h s a n d v i r t u e s .

Introduction: Too Much Wisdom

xiii

T h e c o n c l u s i o n o f t h e story i s t h e q u e s t i o n o f m e a n i n g : W h y d o s o m e p e o p l e f i n d m e a n i n g , p u r p o s e , a n d f u l f i l l m e n t i n life, b u t o t h e r s d o n o t ? I b e g i n with t h e c u l t u r a l l y w i d e s p r e a d i d e a that t h e r e is a v e r t i c a l , s p i r i t u a l d i m e n s i o n o f h u m a n e x i s t e n c e . W h e t h e r i t i s c a l l e d nobility, v i r t u e , o r divinity, a n d w h e t h e r o r n o t G o d e x i s t s , p e o p l e s i m p l y d o p e r c e i v e s a c r e d n e s s , h o l i n e s s , o r s o m e i n e f f a b l e g o o d n e s s i n o t h e r s , a n d i n n a t u r e . I'll p r e s e n t m y o w n r e s e a r c h o n t h e moral e m o t i o n s o f d i s g u s t , e l e v a t i o n , a n d a w e t o e x p l a i n h o w t h i s vertical d i m e n s i o n w o r k s , a n d w h y t h e d i m e n s i o n i s s o i m p o r t a n t for u n d e r s t a n d i n g religious f u n d a m e n t a l i s m , t h e p o l i t i c a l c u l t u r e war, a n d t h e h u m a n q u e s t f o r m e a n i n g . I'll a l s o c o n s i d e r w h a t p e o p l e m e a n w h e n t h e y a s k , " W h a t i s t h e m e a n i n g o f l i f e ? " A n d I'll g i v e a n a n s w e r t o t h e q u e s t i o n - — a n a n s w e r that d r a w s o n a n c i e n t i d e a s a b o u t h a v ing a p u r p o s e b u t that u s e s very r e c e n t r e s e a r c h t o g o b e y o n d t h e s e a n c i e n t i d e a s , or a n y i d e a s y o u a r e likely to h a v e e n c o u n t e r e d . In d o i n g s o , I'll rev i s e t h e h a p p i n e s s h y p o t h e s i s o n e last t i m e . I c o u l d s t a t e t h a t final v e r s i o n h e r e in a f e w w o r d s , b u t 1 c o u l d n o t e x p l a i n it in this brief i n t r o d u c t i o n w i t h o u t c h e a p e n i n g it. W o r d s o f w i s d o m , t h e m e a n i n g o f life, p e r h a p s e v e n the answer sought by Borges's librarians—all of these may w a s h over us every day, b u t they c a n d o little for u s u n l e s s w e savor t h e m , e n g a g e with them, question them, improve them, a n d c o n n e c t them to our lives. T h a t is my goal in this b o o k .

1 The

Divided

Self

For what the flesh desires is opposed to the Spirit, and what the Spirit desires is opposed to the flesh; for these are opposed to each other, to prevent you from doing what you want. — ST.

PAUL,

GALATIANS

5

: I

7'

If Passion drives, let Reason hold the Reins. — BENJAMIN

FRANKLIN^

I F I R S T R O D E A M O R S E in 1 9 9 1 , in G r e a t S m o k y N a t i o n a l Park, N o r t h C a r olina. I'd b e e n on rides as a child w h e r e s o m e t e e n a g e r led the h o r s e by a short rope, but this w a s the first time it w a s j u s t me a n d a horse, no r o p e . I wasn't a l o n e — t h e r e w e r e eight other p e o p l e o n eight other h o r s e s , a n d o n e of the p e o p l e w a s a p a r k r a n g e r — s o the ride didn't a s k m u c h of m e . T h e r e w a s , however, o n e difficult m o m e n t . We w e r e riding a l o n g a p a t h on a s t e e p hillside, two by two, a n d my h o r s e w a s on the o u t s i d e , w a l k i n g about three feet f r o m the e d g e . T h e n the p a t h turned sharply to t h e left, a n d my horse w a s h e a d i n g straight for the e d g e . I froze. I knew I h a d to steer left, b u t there w a s a n o t h e r horse to my left a n d I didn't want to c r a s h into it. I m i g h t h a v e c a l l e d o u t for h e l p , or s c r e a m e d , " L o o k o u t ! " ; b u t s o m e part of me preferred the risk of g o i n g over the e d g e to the c e r t a i n t y of looking s t u p i d . So I j u s t froze. I did n o t h i n g at all d u r i n g the critical- five

1

2

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

s e c o n d s in which my h o r s e and the h o r s e to my l e f t c a l m l y turned to the left by t h e m s e l v e s . As my p a n i c s u b s i d e d , I l a u g h e d at my ridiculous fear. T h e horse k n e w exactly what s h e was doing. S h e ' d w a l k e d this path a h u n d r e d times, a n d s h e had no m o r e interest in t u m b l i n g to her d e a t h than I h a d . S h e didn't n e e d me to tell her what to do, a n d , in f a c t , the f e w t i m e s I tried to tell her what to do s h e didn't m u c h s e e m to c a r e . I had gotten it all so wrong bec a u s e I h a d s p e n t the previous ten years driving c a r s , not h o r s e s . C a r s go over e d g e s u n l e s s you tell t h e m not to. H u m a n thinking d e p e n d s on m e t a p h o r . "We u n d e r s t a n d n e w or c o m p l e x things in relation to things we already know. 3 For e x a m p l e , it's hard to think a b o u t life in general, b u t o n c e y o u a p p l y the m e t a p h o r "life is a journey," the m e t a p h o r g u i d e s you to s o m e c o n c l u s i o n s : You s h o u l d learn the terrain, pick a direction, find s o m e good traveling c o m p a n i o n s , a n d enjoy the trip, b e c a u s e there may be nothing at the e n d of the road. It's also hard to think about the m i n d , but o n c e you p i c k a m e t a p h o r it will g u i d e your thinking. T h r o u g h o u t r e c o r d e d history, p e o p l e have lived with and tried to control a n i m a l s , a n d t h e s e a n i m a l s m a d e their way into a n c i e n t m e t a p h o r s . B u d dha, for e x a m p l e , c o m p a r e d the m i n d to a wild e l e p h a n t : In days gone by this mind of mine u s e d to stray wherever selfish desire or lust or pleasure would lead it. Today this mind does not stray and is under the harmony of control, even as a wild elephant is controlled by the trainer. 4 Plato u s e d a similar m e t a p h o r in w h i c h the self (or soul) is a chariot, a n d the c a l m , rational part of the m i n d h o l d s the reins. Plato's charioteer had to control two horses: T h e horse that is on the right, or nobler, side is upright in f r a m e and well jointed, with a high neck and a regal nose; . . . he is a lover of honor with modesty and self-control; c o m p a n i o n to true glory, he n e e d s no whip, and is guided by verbal c o m m a n d s alone. T h e other horse is a crooked great j u m b l e of limbs . . . c o m p a n i o n to wild boasts and indecency, he is

The Divided Self

1

3

shaggy around the e a r s — d e a f as a p o s t — a n d j u s t barely yields to h o r s e whip a n d goad c o m b i n e d . 5 For P l a t o , s o m e o f t h e e m o t i o n s a n d p a s s i o n s a r e g o o d (for e x a m p l e , t h e love of h o n o r ) , a n d they h e l p pull t h e self in t h e right d i r e c t i o n , b u t o t h e r s are b a d (for e x a m p l e , t h e a p p e t i t e s a n d l u s t s ) . T h e g o a l o f P l a t o n i c e d u c a tion w a s t o h e l p t h e c h a r i o t e e r g a i n p e r f e c t c o n t r o l over t h e t w o h o r s e s . S i g m u n d F r e u d o f f e r e d u s a r e l a t e d m o d e l 2 , 3 0 0 y e a r s later. 6 F r e u d s a i d that t h e m i n d i s divided into t h r e e p a r t s : the e g o ( t h e c o n s c i o u s , r a t i o n a l s e l f ) ; t h e s u p e r e g o ( t h e c o n s c i e n c e , a s o m e t i m e s t o o rigid c o m m i t m e n t t o t h e rules of s o c i e t y ) ; a n d t h e id ( t h e d e s i r e for p l e a s u r e , lots of it, s o o n e r r a t h e r than later). T h e m e t a p h o r I use w h e n I lecture on Freud is to t h i n k of the m i n d as a h o r s e a n d b u g g y (a Victorian c h a r i o t ) in w h i c h the d r i v e r ( t h e e g o ) s t r u g g l e s frantically to control a hungry, l u s t f u l , a n d d i s o b e d i e n t h o r s e ( t h e id) while t h e driver's f a t h e r (the s u p e r e g o ) sits in t h e b a c k s c a t l e c t u r ing t h e driver o n w h a t h e i s d o i n g w r o n g . For F r e u d , t h e goal o f p s y c h o a n a l y s i s w a s t o e s c a p e this p i t i f u l s t a t e b y s t r e n g t h e n i n g t h e ego, t h u s g i v i n g i t m o r e control over t h e i d a n d m o r e i n d e p e n d e n c e f r o m t h e s u p e r e g o . F r e u d , Plato, a n d B u d d h a all lived in worlds full of d o m e s t i c a t e d a n i m a l s . T h e y w e r e familiar with the struggle to a s s e r t one's will over a c r e a t u r e m u c h larger t h a n t h e self. B u t a s t h e t w e n t i e t h c e n t u r y w o r e o n , c a r s r e p l a c e d h o r s e s , a n d t e c h n o l o g y g a v e p e o p l e ever m o r e c o n t r o l over their p h y s i c a l worlds. W h e n p e o p l e looked for m e t a p h o r s , they s a w t h e m i n d a s t h e driver of a car, or as a p r o g r a m r u n n i n g on a c o m p u t e r . It b e c a m e p o s s i b l e to forget all a b o u t Freud's u n c o n s c i o u s , a n d j u s t s t u d y t h e m e c h a n i s m s o f t h i n k i n g a n d d e c i s i o n m a k i n g . T h a t ' s w h a t social s c i e n t i s t s d i d in t h e last third of t h e c e n tury: S o c i a l psychologists c r e a t e d "information p r o c e s s i n g " theories to e x p l a i n everything f r o m p r e j u d i c e t o friendship. E c o n o m i s t s c r e a t e d "rational c h o i c e " m o d e l s t o explain why p e o p l e d o what they do. T h e social s c i e n c e s w e r e uniting u n d e r the i d e a that p e o p l e are rational a g e n t s w h o set goals a n d p u r s u e t h e m intelligently by u s i n g t h e information a n d r e s o u r c e s at their d i s p o s a l . B u t t h e n , why d o p e o p l e k e e p d o i n g s u c h s t u p i d t h i n g s ? W h y d o t h e y fail t o c o n t r o l t h e m s e l v e s a n d c o n t i n u e t o d o w h a t they k n o w i s n o t g o o d lor t h e m ? I , f o r o n e , c a n e a s i l y m u s t e r t h e w i l l p o w e r t o i g n o r e a l l t h e

4

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

d e s s e r t s on the m e n u . B u t if d e s s e r t is p l a c e d on the table, I can't resist it. I c a n resolve to f o c u s on a task a n d not get up until it is d o n e , yet s o m e h o w I find myself walking into the k i t c h e n , or p r o c r a s t i n a t i n g in other ways. I c a n resolve to wake up at 6 : 0 0 A.M. to write; yet a f t e r I have shut off the alarm, my r e p e a t e d c o m m a n d s to m y s e l f to get out of b e d h a v e no e f f e c t , a n d I u n d e r s t a n d what Plato m e a n t w h e n he d e s c r i b e d the b a d horse as " d e a f as a p o s t . " B u t it w a s d u r i n g s o m e larger life d e c i s i o n s , a b o u t dating, that I really b e g a n to g r a s p the extent of my p o w e r l e s s n e s s . 1 w o u l d know exactly what I s h o u l d do, yet, even as I w a s telling my f r i e n d s that I would do it, a part of me w a s dimly a w a r e that I w a s not g o i n g to. F e e l i n g s of guilt, lust, or fear were o f t e n stronger than r e a s o n i n g . ( O n the other hand, I w a s q u i t e good at lecturing f r i e n d s in similar s i t u a t i o n s a b o u t what w a s right for t h e m . ) T h e R o m a n p o e t O v i d c a p t u r e d my situation perfectly. In Metamorphoses, M e d e a is torn b e t w e e n her love for J a s o n a n d her duty to her father. S h e l a m e n t s : I am dragged along by a strange new force. Desire and reason are pulling in different directions. I s e e the right way a n d approve it, but follow the wrong. 7 M o d e r n theories a b o u t rational c h o i c e and information p r o c e s s i n g don't a d e q u a t e l y explain w e a k n e s s o f t h e will. T h e older m e t a p h o r s a b o u t controlling a n i m a l s work beautifully. T h e i m a g e that I c a m e up with for myself, as I marveled at my w e a k n e s s , w a s that I w a s a rider on the b a c k of an e l e p h a n t . I'm holding the reins in my h a n d s , a n d by pulling o n e way or the other I c a n tell the e l e p h a n t to turn, to s t o p , or to go. I c a n direct things, b u t only w h e n the e l e p h a n t doesn't have d e s i r e s of his own. W h e n the elep h a n t really w a n t s to do s o m e t h i n g , I'm no m a t c h for him. I have u s e d this m e t a p h o r to g u i d e my own thinking for ten years, a n d w h e n I b e g a n to write this b o o k I t h o u g h t the i m a g e of a rider on an elep h a n t would be u s e f u l in this first chapter, on the divided self. However, the m e t a p h o r has turned out to be u s e f u l in every c h a p t e r of the book. To u n d e r s t a n d m o s t important i d e a s in psychology, you n e e d to u n d e r s t a n d how the m i n d i s divided into p a r t s that s o m e t i m e s c o n f l i c t . W e a s s u m e

The Divided Self

1

5

that t h e r e i s o n e p e r s o n i n e a c h body, b u t i n s o m e w a y s w e a r e e a c h m o r e like a c o m m i t t e e w h o s e m e m b e r s h a v e b e e n t h r o w n t o g e t h e r t o d o a j o b , but who often find themselves working at cross purposes. O u r m i n d s are d i v i d e d i n f o u r w a y s . T h e f o u r t h i s t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t , for i t c o r r e s p o n d s m o s t c l o s e l y t o t h e rider a n d t h e e l e p h a n t ; b u t t h e first t h r e e a l s o c o n t r i b u t e t o our e x p e r i e n c e s o f t e m p t a t i o n , w e a k n e s s , a n d internal c o n f l i c t .

FIRST

D I V I S I O N :

M I N D

VS.

B O D Y

W e s o m e t i m e s s a y that t h e b o d y h a s a m i n d o f its o w n , b u t t h e F r e n c h philosopher M i c h e l de M o n t a i g n e went a s t e p further a n d s u g g e s t e d that e a c h p a r t o f t h e b o d y h a s its o w n e m o t i o n s a n d its o w n a g e n d a . M o n t a i g n e was most fascinated by the i n d e p e n d e n c e of the penis: We are right to n o t e the l i c e n s e a n d d i s o b e d i e n c e of this m e m b e r w h i c h thrusts itself forward so inopportunely w h e n we do not want it to, a n d which so inopportunely lets us d o w n w h e n we most n e e d it. It i m p e r i ously c o n t e s t s for authority with our will. 8 M o n t a i g n e also noted the ways in which our facial expressions betray our s e c r e t t h o u g h t s ; our hair s t a n d s o n e n d ; our h e a r t s r a c e ; o u r t o n g u e s fail t o s p e a k ; a n d our b o w e l s a n d a n a l s p h i n c t e r s u n d e r g o " d i l a t i o n s a n d c o n t r a c t i o n s p r o p e r t o [ t h e m s e l v e s ] , i n d e p e n d e n t o f our w i s h e s o r e v e n opp o s e d t o t h e m . " S o m e o f t h e s e e f f e c t s , w e n o w know, a r e c a u s e d b y t h e a u t o n o m i c n e r v o u s s y s t e m — t h e n e t w o r k o f n e r v e s that c o n t r o l s t h e o r g a n s a n d g l a n d s o f o u r b o d i e s , a n e t w o r k that i s c o m p l e t e l y i n d e p e n d e n t o f volu n t a r y o r i n t e n t i o n a l c o n t r o l . B u t t h e last i t e m o n M o n t a i g n e ' s l i s t — t h e bowels—reflects the operation of a s e c o n d brain. O u r intestines a r e lined b y a v a s t n e t w o r k o f m o r e t h a n 1 0 0 million n e u r o n s ; t h e s e h a n d l e all t h e c o m p u t a t i o n s n e e d e d t o r u n t h e c h e m i c a l r e f i n e r y that p r o c e s s e s a n d ext r a c t s n u t r i e n t s f r o m f o o d . 9 T h i s g u t brain i s l i k e a regional a d m i n i s t r a t i v e c e n t e r t h a t h a n d l e s s t u f f t h e h e a d brain d o e s not n e e d t o b o t h e r w i t h . You might e x p e c t , t h e n , that this g u t brain t a k e s its o r d e r s f r o m t h e h e a d b r a i n

6

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

and d o e s as it is told. B u t the gut brain p o s s e s s e s a high d e g r e e of autonomy, a n d it c o n t i n u e s to f u n c t i o n well even if the v a g u s nerve, w h i c h connects the two brains together, is s e v e r e d . T h e gut brain m a k e s its i n d e p e n d e n c e k n o w n in m a n y ways: It c a u s e s irritable bowel s y n d r o m e w h e n it " d e c i d e s " to f l u s h out the intestines. It triggers anxiety in the h e a d brain w h e n it d e t e c t s i n f e c t i o n s in the gut, leading you to act in m o r e c a u t i o u s ways that are a p p r o p r i a t e w h e n you are s i c k . 1 0 A n d it reacts in u n e x p e c t e d ways to anything that a f f e c t s its m a i n neurotransmitters, s u c h as acetylcholine a n d s e r o t o n i n . H e n c e , m a n y of the initial s i d e e f f e c t s of Prozac a n d other selective serotonin r e u p t a k e inhibitors involve n a u s e a a n d c h a n g e s in bowel f u n c t i o n . Trying to improve the workings of the head brain c a n directly interfere with t h o s e of the gut brain. T h e i n d e p e n d e n c e o f the gut brain, c o m b i n e d with the a u t o n o m i c n a t u r e o f c h a n g e s to the genitals, probably c o n t r i b u t e d to ancient Indian theories in which the a b d o m e n c o n t a i n s the three lower c h a k r a s — e n e r g y c e n t e r s corr e s p o n d i n g t o the c o l o n / a n u s , s e x u a l o r g a n s , a n d gut. T h e g u t e h a k r a i s even said to be the s o u r c e of gut f e e l i n g s a n d intuitions, that is, i d e a s that a p p e a r t o c o m e from s o m e w h e r e o u t s i d e one's own m i n d . W h e n St. Paul l a m e n t e d the battle of flesh versus Spirit, he w a s surely referring to s o m e of the s a m e divisions and frustrations that M o n t a i g n e e x p e r i e n c e d .

S E C O N D

D I V I S I O N :

L E F T

VS.

R I G H T

A s e c o n d division was d i s c o v e r e d by a c c i d e n t in the 1 9 6 0 s w h e n a s u r g e o n b e g a n c u t t i n g people's brains in half. T h e s u r g e o n , J o e B o g e n , had a good reason for d o i n g this: He w a s trying to h e l p p e o p l e w h o s e lives w e r e destroyed b y f r e q u e n t a n d m a s s i y e e p i l e p t i c s e i z u r e s . T h e h u m a n brain h a s two s e p a r a t e h e m i s p h e r e s j o i n e d by a large b u n d l e of nerves, the c o r p u s c a l l o s u m . S e i z u r e s always begin at o n e s p o t in the brain and s p r e a d to the s u r r o u n d i n g brain tissue. If a seizure c r o s s e s over the c o r p u s c a l l o s u m , it c a n s p r e a d to the entire brain, c a u s i n g t h e p e r s o n to l o s e c o n s c i o u s n e s s , fall d o w n , a n d writhe uncontrollably. J u s t as a military l e a d e r m i g h t blow up a bridge to prevent an e n e m y f r o m c r o s s i n g it, B o g e n w a n t e d to sever the c o r p u s c a l l o s u m to prevent the s e i z u r e s f r o m s p r e a d i n g .

The Divided Self

1

7

A t first g l a n c e t h i s w a s a n i n s a n e t a c t i c . T h e c o r p u s c a l l o s u m i s t h e largest s i n g l e b u n d l e o f n e r v e s i n the e n t i r e body, s o i t m u s t b e d o i n g s o m e t h i n g i m p o r t a n t . I n d e e d it is: It a l l o w s t h e t w o h a l v e s of t h e b r a i n to c o m m u n i c a t e a n d c o o r d i n a t e their activity. Yet r e s e a r c h o n a n i m a l s f o u n d t h a t , within a f e w w e e k s o f surgery, t h e a n i m a l s w e r e pretty m u c h b a c k t o norm a l . S o B o g e n t o o k a c h a n c e with h u m a n p a t i e n t s , a n d i t w o r k e d . T h e intensity o f t h e s e i z u r e s w a s greatly r e d u c e d . B u t w a s t h e r e really n o l o s s o f a b i l i t y ? T o f i n d o u t , t h e s u r g i c a l t e a m b r o u g h t i n a y o u n g p s y c h o l o g i s t , M i c h a e l G a z z a n i g a , w h o s e j o b w a s t o look for t h e a f t e r - e f f e c t s o f this " s p l i t - b r a i n " surgery. G a z z a n i g a t o o k a d v a n t a g e o f t h e f a c t that t h e brain d i v i d e s its p r o c e s s i n g o f t h e world i n t o its t w o h e m i s p h e r e s — l e f t a n d right. T h e l e f t h e m i s p h e r e t a k e s i n i n f o r m a t i o n f r o m t h e right h a l f o f t h e world (that is, i t r e c e i v e s n e r v e t r a n s m i s s i o n s f r o m t h e right a r m a n d leg, t h e right ear, a n d t h e left half o f e a c h r e t i n a , w h i c h r e c e i v e s light f r o m t h e right half o f t h e visual f i e l d ) a n d s e n d s o u t c o m m a n d s t o m o v e t h e l i m b s o n t h e right s i d e o f t h e body. T h e right h e m i s p h e r e i s i n this r e s p e c t t h e left's mirror i m a g e , t a k i n g i n i n f o r m a t i o n f r o m t h e left half o f t h e w o r l d a n d c o n t r o l l i n g m o v e m e n t o n t h e left s i d e o f t h e body. N o b o d y k n o w s w h y t h e s i g n a l s c r o s s o v e r in t h i s w a y in all v e r t e b r a t e s ; they j u s t d o . B u t i n other r e s p e c t s , t h e t w o h e m i s p h e r e s a r e s p e cialized for d i f f e r e n t t a s k s . T h e left h e m i s p h e r e i s s p e c i a l i z e d for l a n g u a g e p r o c e s s i n g a n d a n a l y t i c a l t a s k s . In v i s u a l t a s k s , it is b e t t e r at n o t i c i n g d e tails. T h e right h e m i s p h e r e i s b e t t e r a t p r o c e s s i n g p a t t e r n s i n s p a c e , inc l u d i n g that a l l - i m p o r t a n t p a t t e r n , t h e f a c e . ( T h i s i s t h e origin o f p o p u l a r a n d o v e r s i m p l i f i e d i d e a s a b o u t artists b e i n g " r i g h t - b r a i n e d " a n d s c i e n t i s t s being "left-brained"). G a z z a n i g a u s e d t h e brain's division o f l a b o r t o p r e s e n t i n f o r m a t i o n t o e a c h half of t h e b r a i n separately. He a s k e d p a t i e n t s to s t a r e at a s p o t on a s c r e e n , a n d then f l a s h e d a w o r d or a p i c t u r e of an o b j e c t j u s t to t h e right of t h e s p o t , o r j u s t t o t h e left, s o q u i c k l y that t h e r e w a s n o t e n o u g h t i m e f o r t h e p a t i e n t to m o v e h e r g a z e . If a p i c t u r e of a hat w a s f l a s h e d j u s t to t h e right o f t h e s p o t , t h e i m a g e w o u l d r e g i s t e r o n t h e left half o f e a c h r e t i n a (after the image had p a s s e d through the cornea and been inverted), which t h e n s e n t its n e u r a l i n f o r m a t i o n b a c k t o t h e visual p r o c e s s i n g a r e a s i n t h e left h e m i s p h e r e . G a z z a n i g a w o u l d t h e n a s k , " W h a t d i d y o u s e e ? " B e c a u s e

8

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

the left h e m i s p h e r e has full l a n g u a g e capabilities, the patient would quickly and easily say, "A hat." If the i m a g e of the hat w a s f l a s h e d to the left of the spot, however, the i m a g e w a s s e n t b a c k only to the right hemis p h e r e , which d o e s not control s p e e c h . W h e n G a z z a n i g a a s k e d , " W h a t did you s e e ? " , the patient, r e s p o n d i n g f r o m the left h e m i s p h e r e , said, " N o t h ing." B u t w h e n G a z z a n i g a a s k e d the patient to u s e her left h a n d to point to the correct i m a g e on a card s h o w i n g several i m a g e s , s h e w o u l d point to the hat. Although the right h e m i s p h e r e h a d i n d e e d s e e n the hat, it did not report verbally on what it h a d s e e n b e c a u s e it did not have a c c e s s to the lang u a g e c e n t e r s in the left h e m i s p h e r e . It w a s as if a s e p a r a t e intelligence was t r a p p e d in the right h e m i s p h e r e , its only o u t p u t d e v i c e the left h a n d . 1 1 W h e n G a z z a n i g a f l a s h e d d i f f e r e n t p i c t u r e s t o the two h e m i s p h e r e s , things grew weirder. On o n e o c c a s i o n he f l a s h e d a p i c t u r e of a c h i c k e n claw on the right, a n d a p i c t u r e of a h o u s e a n d a car c o v e r e d in s n o w on the left. T h e patient w a s t h e n s h o w n a n array o f p i c t u r e s a n d a s k e d t o point t o the o n e that " g o e s w i t h " w h a t h e h a d s e e n . T h e p a t i e n t ' s right hand p o i n t e d to a p i c t u r e of a c h i c k e n (which w e n t with the c h i c k e n claw the left h e m i s p h e r e h a d s e e n ) , b u t t h e left h a n d pointed to a p i c t u r e of a shovel ( w h i c h w e n t with t h e s n o w s c e n e p r e s e n t e d t o t h e right h e m i sphere). W h e n the patient w a s a s k e d to explain his two r e s p o n s e s , he did not say, "I have no idea why my left hand is p o i n t i n g to a shovel; it m u s t be s o m e t h i n g you s h o w e d my right b r a i n . " I n s t e a d , the left h e m i s p h e r e instantly m a d e up a p l a u s i b l e story. T h e patient said, without any hesitation, " O h , that's easy. T h e c h i c k e n c l a w g o e s with the c h i c k e n , a n d you n e e d a shovel to clean out the c h i c k e n s h e d . " 1 2 T h i s finding, that p e o p l e will readily f a b r i c a t e r e a s o n s to explain their own behavior, is called " c o n f a b u l a t i o n . " C o n f a b u l a t i o n is so f r e q u e n t in work with split-brain p a t i e n t s a n d other p e o p l e s u f f e r i n g brain d a m a g e that G a z z a n i g a refers to the l a n g u a g e c e n t e r s on the left side of the brain as the interpreter m o d u l e , w h o s e j o b is to give a r u n n i n g c o m m e n t a r y on whatever the self is doing, even though the interpreter m o d u l e has no a c c e s s to the real c a u s e s or motives of the s e l f ' s behavior. For e x a m p l e , if the word "walk" is f l a s h e d to the right h e m i s p h e r e , the p a t i e n t might s t a n d up a n d walk away. W h e n a s k e d why he is g e t t i n g up, he might say, "I'm going to

The Divided Self

1

9

get a C o k e . " T h e interpreter module is good at making up explanations, but not at k n o w i n g that it h a s d o n e so. S c i e n c e h a s m a d e e v e n s t r a n g e r d i s c o v e r i e s . I n s o m e split-brain p a t i e n t s , o r i n o t h e r s w h o h a v e s u f f e r e d d a m a g e t o t h e c o r p u s c a l l o s u m , t h e right h e m i s p h e r e s e e m s t o b e actively f i g h t i n g with t h e left h e m i s p h e r e i n a c o n dition k n o w n a s alien h a n d s y n d r o m e . I n t h e s e c a s e s , o n e h a n d , u s u a l l y t h e left, a c t s o f its o w n a c c o r d a n d s e e m s t o h a v e its o w n a g e n d a . T h e a l i e n h a n d m a y p i c k u p a ringing p h o n e , b u t t h e n r e f u s e t o p a s s the p h o n e t o t h e o t h e r h a n d o r bring i t u p t o a n ear. T h e h a n d r e j e c t s c h o i c e s t h e p e r s o n h a s just m a d e , for e x a m p l e , by p u t t i n g b a c k on t h e r a c k a shirt t h a t t h e o t h e r h a n d h a s j u s t p i c k e d o u t . I t g r a b s t h e wrist o f t h e o t h e r h a n d a n d tries t o stop it from executing the person's c o n s c i o u s plans. S o m e t i m e s , the alien h a n d actually r e a c h e s for t h e person's o w n n e c k a n d tries t o s t r a n g l e h i m . 1 3 T h e s e d r a m a t i c s p l i t s o f the m i n d a r e c a u s e d b y rare splits o f t h e b r a i n . N o r m a l p e o p l e a r e not s p l i t - b r a i n e d . Yet t h e split-brain s t u d i e s w e r e i m p o r tant i n p s y c h o l o g y b e c a u s e they s h o w e d i n s u c h a n e e r i e w a y t h a t t h e m i n d is a confederation of m o d u l e s capable of working independently a n d even, s o m e t i m e s , at c r o s s - p u r p o s e s . Split-brain s t u d i e s are important for this b o o k b e c a u s e t h e y s h o w i n s u c h a d r a m a t i c w a y that o n e o f t h e s e m o d u l e s i s g o o d a t i n v e n t i n g c o n v i n c i n g e x p l a n a t i o n s for y o u r behavior, e v e n w h e n i t h a s n o k n o w l e d g e o f t h e c a u s e s o f y o u r behavior. G a z z a n i g a ' s " i n t e r p r e t e r m o d u l e " is, essentially, t h e rider. You'll c a t c h t h e r i d e r c o n f a b u l a t i n g i n several later c h a p t e r s .

T H I R D

D I V I S I O N :

N E W

VS.

O L D

If y o u live in a relatively n e w s u b u r b a n h o u s e , your h o m e w a s p r o b a b l y built in l e s s t h a n a year, a n d its r o o m s w e r e laid o u t by an a r c h i t e c t w h o tried t o m a k e t h e m fulfill p e o p l e ' s n e e d s . T h e h o u s e s o n m y s t r e e t , h o w ever, w e r e all built a r o u n d 1 9 0 0 , a n d s i n c e t h e n t h e y h a v e e x p a n d e d o u t into their b a c k y a r d s . P o r c h e s w e r e e x t e n d e d , t h e n e n c l o s e d , t h e n t u r n e d into k i t c h e n s . E x t r a b e d r o o m s w e r e b u i l t a b o v e t h e s e e x t e n s i o n s , t h e n b a t h r o o m s w e r e t a c k e d o n t o t h e s e n e w r o o m s . T h e brain i n v e r t e b r a t e s

10

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

h a s similarly e x p a n d e d , but in a f o r w a r d direction. T h e brain started off with j u s t three rooms, or c l u m p s of n e u r o n s : a hindbrain ( c o n n e c t e d to the spinal c o l u m n ) , a midbrain, a n d a f o r e b r a i n ( c o n n e c t e d to the sensory org a n s a t the front o f the a n i m a l ) . O v e r t i m e , a s m o r e c o m p l e x b o d i e s a n d behaviors evolved, the brain k e p t b u i l d i n g o u t the front, a w a y from the spinal c o l u m n , e x p a n d i n g the forebrain m o r e than any other part. T h e forebrain of the earliest m a m m a l s d e v e l o p e d a n e w o u t e r shell, which i n c l u d e d the h y p o t h a l a m u s (specialized to c o o r d i n a t e b a s i c drives a n d motivations), the h i p p o c a m p u s (specialized for m e m o r y ) , a n d the a m y g d a l a (specialized for e m o t i o n a l learning a n d r e s p o n d i n g ) . T h e s e s t r u c t u r e s a r e s o m e t i m e s referred to as the limbic s y s t e m ( f r o m L a t i n limhus, " b o r d e r " or "margin") b e c a u s e they wrap around the rest of the brain, f o r m i n g a border. As m a m m a l s grew in size a n d diversified in behavior (after t h e . d i n o s a u r s b e c a m e extinct), the r e m o d e l i n g c o n t i n u e d . I n the m o r e social m a m m a l s , particularly a m o n g p r i m a t e s , a n e w layer of neural t i s s u e d e v e l o p e d a n d s p r e a d to s u r r o u n d the old limbic s y s t e m . T h i s n e o c o r t e x ( L a t i n for "new covering") is the gray m a t t e r c h a r a c t e r i s t i c of h u m a n brains. T h e front portion of the neocortex is particularly interesting, for p a r t s of it do not a p p e a r to be d e d i c a t e d to s p e c i f i c t a s k s ( s u c h as m o v i n g a finger or p r o c e s s i n g s o u n d ) . I n s t e a d , it is available to m a k e n e w a s s o c i a t i o n s a n d to e n g a g e in thinking, planning, a n d d e c i s i o n m a k i n g — m e n t a l p r o c e s s e s that c a n f r e e an organism from r e s p o n d i n g only to an i m m e d i a t e situation. T h i s growth of the frontal cortex s e e m s like a p r o m i s i n g explanation for the divisions we experience in our m i n d s . Perhaps the frontal cortex is the seat of reason: It is Plato's charioteer; it is St. Paul's Spirit. A n d it has taken over control, though not perfectly, f r o m the m o r e primitive limbic s y s t e m — Plato's b a d horse, S t . Paul's f l e s h . We c a n call this e x p l a n a t i o n the Prom e t h e a n script of h u m a n evolution, a f t e r the c h a r a c t e r in G r e e k mythology who stole fire from the g o d s a n d g a v e it to h u m a n s . In this script, our a n c e s tors were m e r e a n i m a l s governed by the primitive e m o t i o n s a n d drives of the limbic system until they received the divine gift of reason, installed in the newly e x p a n d e d neocortex. T h e P r o m e t h e a n script is p l e a s i n g in that it neatly r a i s e s us a b o v e all other a n i m a l s , j u s t i f y i n g our s u p e r i o r i t y b y our r a t i o n a l i t y A t t h e s a m e time, it c a p t u r e s our s e n s e that we a r e not yet g o d s — t h a t the fire of ratio-

The Divided Self

1

11

nality i s s o m e h o w n e w t o u s , a n d w e h a v e n o t yet fully m a s t e r e d it. T h e P r o m e t h e a n s c r i p t a l s o f i t s well with s o m e i m p o r t a n t early f i n d i n g s a b o u t I h e roles o f t h e l i m b i c s y s t e m a n d t h e frontal c o r t e x . F o r e x a m p l e , w h e n s o m e regions of the h y p o t h a l a m u s are s t i m u l a t e d directly with a small e l e c t r i c c u r r e n t , rats, c a t s , a n d o t h e r m a m m a l s c a n b e m a d e g l u t t o n o u s , f e r o c i o u s , o r h y p e r s e x u a l , s u g g e s t i n g that t h e l i m b i c s y s t e m u n d e r l i e s m a n y of our basic animal instincts.14 Conversely, w h e n people suffer d a m a g e to t h e f r o n t a l cortex, they s o m e t i m e s s h o w a n i n c r e a s e i n s e x u a l a n d a g g r e s sive b e h a v i o r b e c a u s e t h e f r o n t a l c o r t e x p l a y s a n i m p o r t a n t role i n s u p pressing or inhibiting behavioral impulses. T h e r e w a s r e c e n t l y s u c h a c a s e a t t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f Virginia's h o s p i t a l . 1 5 A s c h o o l t e a c h e r in his f o r t i e s h a d , fairly s u d d e n l y , b e g u n to visit p r o s t i tutes, surf child pornography W e b sites, and proposition young girls. He w a s s o o n a r r e s t e d a n d c o n v i c t e d o f c h i l d m o l e s t a t i o n . T h e day b e f o r e h i s sentencing, he went to the hospital e m e r g e n c y room b e c a u s e he h a d a pounding h e a d a c h e and was experiencing a constant urge to rape his landlady. ( H i s w i f e h a d t h r o w n h i m o u t o f t h e h o u s e m o n t h s e a r l i e r . ) E v e n while h e w a s t a l k i n g t o t h e doctor, h e a s k e d p a s s i n g n u r s e s t o s l e e p with him. A brain s c a n f o u n d that a n e n o r m o u s t u m o r i n his frontal c o r t e x w a s s q u e e z i n g everything else, preventing the frontal cortex from doing its j o b of inhibiting inappropriate behavior and thinking a b o u t c o n s e q u e n c e s . ( W h o i n his right m i n d w o u l d p u t o n s u c h a s h o w t h e d a y b e f o r e h i s s e n tencing?) W h e n the tumor was removed, the hypersexuality v a n i s h e d . M o r e o v e r , w h e n t h e t u m o r g r e w b a c k t h e f o l l o w i n g year, t h e s y m p t o m s returned; and when the tumor was removed again, the s y m p t o m s d i s a p peared again. There is, however, a f l a w in t h e P r o m e t h e a n s c r i p t : It a s s u m e s t h a t reason w a s i n s t a l l e d i n t h e frontal cortex b u t that e m o t i o n s t a y e d b e h i n d i n the l i m b i c s y s t e m . In f a c t , t h e frontal cortex e n a b l e d a g r e a t e x p a n s i o n of e m o t i o n a l i t y i n h u m a n s . T h e lower third o f t h e p r e f r o n t a l cortex i s c a l l e d I lie o r b i t o f r o n t a l cortex b e c a u s e it is t h e p a r t of t h e b r a i n j u s t a b o v e t h e e y e s (orbit i s t h e L a t i n t e r m for the e y e s o c k e t ) . T h i s region o f t h e c o r t e x has grown especially large in h u m a n s and other primates and is o n e of the m o s t c o n s i s t e n t l y a c t i v e a r e a s o f t h e brain d u r i n g e m o t i o n a l r e a c t i o n s . 1 6 T h e o r b i t o f r o n t a l c o r t e x p l a y s a c e n t r a l role w h e n y o u s i z e u p t h e r e w a r d

12

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

a n d p u n i s h m e n t possibilities of a s i t u a t i o n ; the n e u r o n s in this part of the cortex fire wildly w h e n there is an i m m e d i a t e p o s s i b i l i t y of p l e a s u r e or pain, loss or gain. 1 7 W h e n you feel y o u r s e l f drawn to a m e a l , a l a n d s c a p e , or an attractive p e r s o n , or repelled by a d e a d a n i m a l , a b a d s o n g , or a blind d a t e , your orbitofrontal cortex is w o r k i n g hard to give you an .emotional f e e l i n g of wanting to a p p r o a c h or to get away. 1 8 T h e orbitofrontal cortex therefore a p p e a r s to be a better c a n d i d a t e for the id, or for St. Paul's flesh, than for the s u p e r e g o or the Spirit. T h e i m p o r t a n c e of the orbitofrontal cortex for e m o t i o n h a s b e e n further demonstrated by research on brain d a m a g e . T h e neurologist Antonio D a m a s i o h a s s t u d i e d p e o p l e w h o , b e c a u s e of a stroke, tumor, or blow to t h e h e a d , h a v e lost v a r i o u s p a r t s o f t h e i r f r o n t a l c o r t e x . I n t h e 1 9 9 0 s , D a m a s i o f o u n d that w h e n certain parts of the orbitofrontal cortex are d a m a g e d , patients lose m o s t o f their e m o t i o n a l lives. T h e y report that w h e n they ought to feel e m o t i o n , they f e e l nothing, a n d s t u d i e s of their auton o m i c reactions ( s u c h as those u s e d in lie d e t e c t o r t e s t s ) c o n f i r m that they lack the normal f l a s h e s of bodily r e a c t i o n that the rest of us e x p e r i e n c e w h e n observing s c e n e s of horror or beauty. Yet their r e a s o n i n g a n d logical abilities a r e i n t a c t . T h e y p e r f o r m n o r m a l l y o n t e s t s o f i n t e l l i g e n c e a n d knowledge of social rules a n d moral p r i n c i p l e s . 1 9 S o what h a p p e n s w h e n t h e s e p e o p l e g o out into the world? N o w that they are f r e e of the d i s t r a c t i o n s of e m o t i o n , do they b e c o m e hyperlogical, a b l e to s e e through the haze of f e e l i n g s that b l i n d s the rest of us to the path o f p e r f e c t rationality? J u s t t h e o p p o s i t e . T h e y f i n d t h e m s e l v e s u n a b l e to m a k e s i m p l e d e c i s i o n s or to s e t g o a l s , a n d their lives fall apart. W h e n they look out at the world a n d think, " W h a t s h o u l d I do n o w ? " they s e e d o z e n s of c h o i c e s but lack i m m e d i a t e internal f e e l i n g s of like or dislike. T h e y m u s t e x a m i n e the p r o s a n d c o n s o f every c h o i c e with their reasoning, but in the a b s e n c e of f e e l i n g they s e e little r e a s o n to p i c k o n e or the other. W h e n the rest o f u s look o u t a t t h e world, o u r e m o t i o n a l b r a i n s have instantly a n d a u t o m a t i c a l l y a p p r a i s e d the p o s s i b i l i t i e s . O n e possibility usually j u m p s out a t u s a s the o b v i o u s b e s t o n e . W e n e e d only u s e reason to weigh the pros and c o n s w h e n two or three possibilities s e e m equally g o o d .

The Divided Self

1

13

H u m a n rationality d e p e n d s critically o n s o p h i s t i c a t e d e m o t i o n a l i t y . I t i s only b e c a u s e o u r e m o t i o n a l b r a i n s w o r k s s o well that o u r r e a s o n i n g c a n w o r k a t all. Plato's i m a g e o f r e a s o n a s c h a r i o t e e r c o n t r o l l i n g t h e d u m b I l e a s t s o f p a s s i o n m a y o v e r s t a t e not only t h e w i s d o m b u t a l s o t h e p o w e r o f t he c h a r i o t e e r . T h e m e t a p h o r of a rider on an e l e p h a n t f i t s D a m a s i o ' s f i n d ings m o r e closely: R e a s o n a n d e m o t i o n m u s t both w o r k t o g e t h e r t o c r e a t e intelligent behavior, but e m o t i o n ( a m a j o r p a r t o f t h e e l e p h a n t ) d o e s m o s t o f t h e w o r k . W h e n t h e n e o c o r t e x c a m e a l o n g , i t m a d e t h e rider p o s s i b l e , b u t it m a d e t h e e l e p h a n t m u c h s m a r t e r , too. ^

F O U R T H C O N T R O L L E D

D I V I S I O N : VS.

A U T O M A T I C

In the 1 9 9 0 s , while I was developing the elephant/rider m e t a p h o r for mys e l f , t h e field o f s o c i a l p s y c h o l o g y w a s c o m i n g t o a s i m i l a r v i e w o f t h e m i n d . A f t e r its l o n g i n f a t u a t i o n with i n f o r m a t i o n p r o c e s s i n g m o d e l s a n d c o m p u t e r m e t a p h o r s , psychologists b e g a n to realize that there a r e really t w o p r o c e s s i n g s y s t e m s a t w o r k i n t h e m i n d a t all t i m e s : c o n t r o l l e d p r o cesses and automatic processes. S u p p o s e you volunteered to be a subject in the following e x p e r i m e n t . 2 0 First, t h e e x p e r i m e n t e r h a n d s y o u s o m e w o r d p r o b l e m s a n d t e l l s y o u t o c o m e a n d get h e r w h e n you a r e f i n i s h e d . T h e w o r d p r o b l e m s a r e e a s y : J u s t u n s c r a m b l e s e t s o f five w o r d s a n d m a k e s e n t e n c e s u s i n g f o u r o f t h e m . F o r example, "they her bother s e e usually" b e c o m e s either "they u s u a l l y s e e her" or " t h e y u s u a l l y b o t h e r her." A f e w m i n u t e s later, w h e n y o u h a v e finished t h e t e s t , y o u g o o u t t o t h e hallway a s i n s t r u c t e d . T h e e x p e r i m e n t e r i s there, b u t she's e n g a g e d i n a c o n v e r s a t i o n with s o m e o n e a n d isn't m a k i n g e y e c o n t a c t with y o u . W h a t d o y o u s u p p o s e you'll d o ? Well, i f h a l f t h e s e n tences you unscrambled contained words related to rudeness (sucfi as bother, b r a z e n , a g g r e s s i v e l y ) , y o u will p r o b a b l y i n t e r r u p t t h e e x p e r i m e n t e r within a m i n u t e or t w o to say, "Hey, I'm f i n i s h e d . W h a t s h o u l d 1 do n o w ? " Hut i f y o u u n s c r a m b l e d s e n t e n c e s i n w h i c h t h e r u d e w o r d s w e r e s w a p p e d with w o r d s r e l a t e d t o p o l i t e n e s s ("they h e r respect s e e u s u a l l y " ) , t h e o d d s

14

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

are you'll j u s t sit there meekly a n d wait until t h e e x p e r i m e n t e r acknowle d g e s y o u — t e n m i n u t e s from now. L i k e w i s e , e x p o s u r e to w o r d s r e l a t e d to the elderly m a k e s p e o p l e walk m o r e slowly; words related to p r o f e s s o r s m a k e p e o p l e s m a r t e r at the g a m e o f Trivial P u r s u i t ; a n d w o r d s r e l a t e d t o s o c c e r h o o l i g a n s m a k e p e o p l e d u m b e r . 2 1 A n d t h e s e e f f e c t s don't e v e n d e p e n d o n your c o n s c i o u s l y reading the w o r d s ; the s a m e e f f e c t s c a n o c c u r w h e n the w o r d s a r e p r e s e n t e d subliminally, that is, f l a s h e d on a s c r e e n for j u s t a f e w h u n d r e d t h s of a seco n d , too f a s t for your c o n s c i o u s m i n d to register t h e m . B u t s o m e part of the mind d o e s s e e the words, a n d it s e t s in m o t i o n b e h a v i o r s that psychologists c a n m e a s u r e . A c c o r d i n g t o J o h n B a r g h , t h e p i o n e e r i n this r e s e a r c h , t h e s e experim e n t s show that m o s t mental p r o c e s s e s h a p p e n automatically, without the n e e d for c o n s c i o u s a t t e n t i o n o r c o n t r o l . M o s t a u t o m a t i c p r o c e s s e s a r e c o m p l e t e l y u n c o n s c i o u s , although s o m e of t h e m s h o w a part of t h e m s e l v e s t o c o n s c i o u s n e s s ; for e x a m p l e , w e are a w a r e o f the " s t r e a m o f c o n s c i o u s n e s s " 2 2 that s e e m s to flow on by, f o l l o w i n g its o w n rules of a s s o c i a t i o n , without any f e e l i n g of effort or direction f r o m the self. Bargh c o n t r a s t s aut o m a t i c p r o c e s s e s with c o n t r o l l e d p r o c e s s e s , the k i n d o f t h i n k i n g that takes s o m e effort, that p r o c e e d s in s t e p s a n d that a l w a y s plays out on the c e n t e r s t a g e of c o n s c i o u s n e s s . For e x a m p l e , at w h a t t i m e w o u l d you n e e d to leave your h o u s e to c a t c h a 6 : 2 6 flight to L o n d o n ? T h a t ' s s o m e t h i n g you have to think a b o u t consciously, first c h o o s i n g a m e a n s of transport to the airport a n d then c o n s i d e r i n g r u s h - h o u r traffic, weather, a n d the strictness of the s h o e p o l i c e at the airport. You can't d e p a r t on a h u n c h . B u t if you drive to the airport, a l m o s t everything you do on the way will be a u t o m a t i c : breathing, blinking, s h i f t i n g i n your s e a t , d a y d r e a m i n g , k e e p i n g e n o u g h d i s t a n c e b e t w e e n you a n d the car in front of you, even s c o w l i n g a n d cursing slower drivers. Controlled p r o c e s s i n g is l i m i t e d — w e c a n think c o n s c i o u s l y about o n e t h i n g a t a t i m e o n l y — b u t a u t o m a t i c p r o c e s s e s run i n p a r a l l e l a n d c a n handle m a n y tasks at once. If the m i n d p e r f o r m s h u n d r e d s of operations e a c h s e c o n d , all but o n e o f t h e m m u s t b e h a n d l e d automatically. S o w h a t is the relationship b e t w e e n c o n t r o l l e d a n d a u t o m a t i c p r o c e s s i n g ? Is controlled p r o c e s s i n g the wise b o s s , king, o r C E O h a n d l i n g the m o s t impor-

The Divided Self

1 5

l a n t q u e s t i o n s a n d s e t t i n g policy with f o r e s i g h t f o r t h e d u m b e r a u t o m a t i c p r o c e s s e s t o c a r r y o u t ? N o , t h a t w o u l d b r i n g u s right b a c k t o t h e P r o m e t h e a n s c r i p t a n d divine r e a s o n . T o d i s p e l t h e P r o m e t h e a n s c r i p t o n c e a n d for all, it will h e l p to go b a c k in t i m e a n d l o o k at why we h a v e t h e s e I wo p r o c e s s e s , why we h a v e a s m a l l rider a n d a large e l e p h a n t . W h e n the first c l u m p s o f n e u r o n s w e r e f o r m i n g t h e first brains m o r e t h a n 6 0 0 million years a g o , t h e s e c l u m p s m u s t h a v e c o n f e r r e d s o m e a d v a n t a g e o n I h e o r g a n i s m s that h a d t h e m b e c a u s e brains h a v e p r o l i f e r a t e d e v e r s i n c e . Drains a r e a d a p t i v e b e c a u s e they integrate i n f o r m a t i o n from v a r i o u s p a r t s o f I he animal's body to r e s p o n d quickly a n d a u t o m a t i c a l l y to threats a n d o p p o r tunities in t h e e n v i r o n m e n t . By the t i m e we r e a c h 3 million y e a r s a g o , t h e Earth w a s full o f a n i m a l s with extraordinarily s o p h i s t i c a t e d a u t o m a t i c abilities, a m o n g t h e m birds that c o u l d n a v i g a t e b y star p o s i t i o n s , a n t s that c o u l d c o o p e r a t e t o fight w a r s a n d r u n f u n g u s f a r m s , a n d several S p e c i e s o f h o m inids that h a d b e g u n t o m a k e tools. M a n y o f t h e s e c r e a t u r e s p o s s e s s e d syst e m s o f c o m m u n i c a t i o n , but n o n e o f t h e m h a d d e v e l o p e d l a n g u a g e . C o n t r o l l e d p r o c e s s i n g r e q u i r e s l a n g u a g e . You c a n h a v e b i t s a n d p i e c e s o f thought through images, but to plan something complex, to weigh the pros and cons of different paths, or to analyze the c a u s e s of past s u c c e s s e s a n d failures, you n e e d words. N o b o d y knows how long ago h u m a n b e i n g s developed language, but most estimates range from around 2 million years ago, w h e n h o m i n i d b r a i n s b e c a m e m u c h bigger, t o a s r e c e n t l y a s 4 0 , 0 0 0 years a g o , t h e t i m e o f c a v e p a i n t i n g s a n d o t h e r a r t i f a c t s that reveal u n m i s takably m o d e r n h u m a n m i n d s . 2 3 W h i c h e v e r e n d o f that r a n g e y o u f a v o r , language, reasoning, and c o n s c i o u s p l a n n i n g arrived in the m o s t r e c e n t eye-blink o f e v o l u t i o n . T h e y a r e like n e w s o f t w a r e , R i d e r v e r s i o n 1 . 0 . T h e l a n g u a g e p a r t s w o r k well, b u t t h e r e a r e still a lot of b u g s in t h e r e a s o n i n g ;md p l a n n i n g p r o g r a m s , . 2 4 A u t o m a t i c p r o c e s s e s , o n t h e o t h e r h a n d , h a v e b e e n t h r o u g h t h o u s a n d s o f p r o d u c t c y c l e s a n d a r e nearly p e r f e c t . T h i s diff e r e n c e i n m a t u r i t y b e t w e e n a u t o m a t i c a n d c o n t r o l l e d p r o c e s s e s h e l p s explain w h y w e h a v e i n e x p e n s i v e c o m p u t e r s that c a n solve logic, m a t h , a n d c h e s s p r o b l e m s better than any h u m a n beings c a n (most of us s t r u g g l e with t h e s e t a s k s ) , b u t n o n e o f o u r r o b o t s , n o m a t t e r h o w costly, c a n w a l k through t h e w o o d s a s well a s t h e a v e r a g e six-year-old child ( o u r p e r c e p t u a l and motor systems are superb).

16

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

Evolution never looks a h e a d . It can't plan the h e s t way to travel f r o m point A to point B. I n s t e a d , s m a l l c h a n g e s to existing f o r m s arise (by genetic m u t a t i o n ) , a n d s p r e a d within a p o p u l a t i o n to the extent that they help o r g a n i s m s r e s p o n d m o r e e f f e c t i v e l y to current c o n d i t i o n s . W h e n lang u a g e evolved, the h u m a n brain w a s not r e e n g i n e e r e d t o hand over t h e reins of p o w e r to the rider ( c o n s c i o u s verbal thinking). T h i n g s were already working pretty well, and linguistic ability s p r e a d to t h e extent that it helped the e l e p h a n t do s o m e t h i n g i m p o r t a n t in a better way. The rider evolved to serve to the ele-phant. B u t w h a t e v e r its origin, o n c e we had it, language w a s a p o w e r f u l tool that c o u l d be u s e d in n e w ways, a n d evolution then selected t h o s e individuals w h o got the b e s t u s e out of it. O n e u s e of l a n g u a g e is that it partially freed h u m a n s f r o m "stimulus control." Behaviorists s u c h as B. F. S k i n n e r were able to explain m u c h of the behavior of animals as a set of c o n n e c t i o n s between stimuli a n d r e s p o n s e s . S o m e of t h e s e c o n n e c t i o n s are innate, s u c h as when the sight or smell of an animal's natural f o o d triggers h u n g e r a n d eating. O t h e r c o n n e c t i o n s a r e learned, as d e m o n s t r a t e d by Ivan Pavlov's dogs, w h o salivated at the s o u n d of a bell that had earlier a n n o u n c e d the arrival of food. T h e behaviorists s a w animals as slaves to their e n v i r o n m e n t s and learning histories who blindly respond to the reward properties of whatever they e n c o u n t e r . T h e behaviorists thought that p e o p l e were no d i f f e r e n t from other a n i m a l s . In this view, St. Paul's lament c o u l d be r e s t a t e d as: " M y flesh is u n d e r s t i m u l u s control." It is no a c c i d e n t that we find the carnal p l e a s u r e s so rewarding. O u r brains, like rat b r a i n s , a r e w i r e d so t h a t f o o d a n d sex give us little b u r s t s of d o p a m i n e , the neurotransmitter that is the brain's way of m a k i n g us enjoy the activities that are good for the survival of our g e n e s . 2 5 Plato's " b a d " horse plays an important role in pulling us toward these things, w h i c h helped our ancestors survive a n d s u c c e e d in b e c o m i n g our a n c e s t o r s . But the behaviorists were not exactly right about p e o p l e . T h e controlled system allows people to think a b o u t long-term goals and thereby e s c a p e the tyranny of the here-and-now, the a u t o m a t i c triggering of temptation by the sight of tempting objects. People c a n i m a g i n e alternatives that are not visually present; they c a n weigh long-term health risks against present pleasures, and they c a n learn in conversation a b o u t which c h o i c e s will bring s u c c e s s

The Divided Self

1 7

a n d p r e s t i g e . Unfortunately, the behaviorists w e r e not entirely w r o n g a b o u t people, either. For a l t h o u g h the controlled s y s t e m d o e s not c o n f o r m to behaviorist principles, it a l s o h a s relatively little p o w e r to c a u s e behavior. T h e a u t o m a t i c s y s t e m w a s s h a p e d b y natural s e l e c t i o n t o trigger q u i c k a n d relia b l e a c t i o n , a n d it i n c l u d e s p a r t s of t h e brain that m a k e us feel p l e a s u r e a n d pain ( s u c h as the orbitofrontal cortex) a n d that trigger survival-related motivations ( s u c h a s the h y p o t h a l a m u s ) . T h e a u t o m a t i c s y s t e m h a s its f i n g e r o n I he d o p a m i n e r e l e a s e button. T h e c o n t r o l l e d s y s t e m , in c o n t r a s t , is b e t t e r s e e n as an advisor. It's a rider p l a c e d on the e l e p h a n t ' s b a c k to h e l p t h e elephant m a k e better c h o i c e s . T h e rider c a n s e e f a r t h e r into t h e f u t u r e , a n d the rider c a n learn v a l u a b l e information by talking to other riders or by r e a d i n g m a p s , b u t the rider c a n n o t order the e l e p h a n t a r o u n d against its will. I believe the S c o t t i s h p h i l o s o p h e r David H u m e w a s c l o s e r t o t h e truth t h a n w a s I'lato w h e n he said, " R e a s o n is, a n d o u g h t only to be t h e slave of t h e p a s s i o n s , a n d c a n never p r e t e n d to any other o f f i c e than to serve a n d o b e y t h e m . " 2 6 In s u m , t h e rider is an advisor or servant; not a king, p r e s i d e n t , or charioteer with a firm grip on the reins. T h e rider is G a z z a n i g a ' s interpreter m o d u l e ; il is c o n s c i o u s , controlled thought. T h e e l e p h a n t , in c o n t r a s t , is e v e r y t h i n g else. T h e e l e p h a n t i n c l u d e s t h e gut f e e l i n g s , v i s c e r a l r e a c t i o n s , e m o t i o n s , a n d intuitions that c o m p r i s e m u c h ' o f t h e a u t o m a t i c s y s t e m . T h e e l e p h a n t a n d t h e r i d e r e a c h have their o w n intelligence, a n d w h e n they w o r k t o g e t h e r well they e n a b l e the u n i q u e brilliance of h u m a n b e i n g s . B u t they d o n ' t always work together well. H e r e are t h r e e quirks of daily life that i l l u s t r a t e the s o m e t i m e s c o m p l e x relationship b e t w e e n t h e r i d e r a n d t h e e l e p h a n t .

F A I L U R E S

O F

S E L F

C O N T R O L

I m a g i n e that it is 1 9 7 0 a n d y o u are a four-year-old child in an e x p e r i m e n t being c o n d u c t e d b y Walter M i s c h e l a t S t a n f o r d University. \ o u are b r o u g h t into a room at your p r e s c h o o l w h e r e a n i c e m a n gives you toys a n d p l a y s with you for a while. T h e n t h e m a n a s k s you, first, w h e t h e r y o u like m a r s h m a l l o w s (you d o ) , a n d , t h e n , w h e t h e r y o u ' d r a t h e r h a v e this p l a t e h e r e w i t h o n e marshmallow or that plate there with two m a r s h m a l l o w s (that o n e , of

18

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

course). T h e n the m a n tells you that he h a s to go out of the room for a little while, and if you c a n wait until he c o m e s back, you c a n have the two marshmallows. If you don't want to wait, y o u c a n ring this bell here, a n d he'll c o m e right back and give you the plate with one; but if you do that, you can't have the two. T h e m a n leaves. You stare at the m a r s h m a l l o w s . You salivate. You want. You fight your wanting. If you are like most four-year-olds, you c a n hold out for only a few minutes. T h e n you ring the bell. N o w let's j u m p a h e a d to 1 9 8 5 . M i s c h e l h a s mailed your p a r e n t s a q u e s tionnaire a s k i n g t h e m to report on your personality, your ability to delay gratification a n d deal with frustration, a n d your p e r f o r m a n c e on your college e n t r a n c e e x a m s (the S c h o l a s t i c A p t i t u d e Test). Your p a r e n t s return the questionnaire. M i s c h e l discovers that the n u m b e r of s e c o n d s you waited to ring the bell in 1 9 7 0 p r e d i c t s not only w h a t your p a r e n t s say a b o u t you as a teenager but a l s o the likelihood that y o u w e r e a d m i t t e d to a top university. C h i l d r e n w h o w e r e a b l e to o v e r c o m e s t i m u l u s control a n d delay gratification for a f e w extra m i n u t e s in 1 9 7 0 w e r e b e t t e r a b l e to resist t e m p t a t i o n as teenagers, to f o c u s on their s t u d i e s , a n d to control t h e m s e l v e s w h e n things didn't go the way they w a n t e d . 2 7 What w a s their s e c r e t ? A large part of it w a s s t r a t e g y — t h e ways that children u s e d their limited mental control to shift attention. In later studies, M i s c h e l d i s c o v e r e d that the s u c c e s s f u l c h i l d r e n w e r e t h o s e w h o looked away from the temptation or were a b l e to think about other enjoyable activities. 2 8 T h e s e thinking skills are a n a s p e c t o f e m o t i o n a l i n t e l l i g e n c e — a n ability to u n d e r s t a n d a n d regulate one's own feelings a n d d e s i r e s . 2 9 An e m o tionally intelligent person h a s a skilled rider w h o k n o w s h o w to distract and coax the elephant without having to e n g a g e in a direct c o n t e s t of wills. It's hard for t h e c o n t r o l l e d s y s t e m t o b e a t t h e a u t o m a t i c s y s t e m b y willpower a l o n e ; like a tired m u s c l e , 3 0 the f o r m e r s o o n w e a r s down a n d c a v e s in, but the latter runs automatically, effortlessly, a n d endlessly. O n c e you u n d e r s t a n d the power of s t i m u l u s control, you c a n u s e it to your advantage by c h a n g i n g the stimuli in your e n v i r o n m e n t and avoiding undesira b l e o n e s ; or, if that's not p o s s i b l e , by f i l l i n g y o u r c o n s c i o u s n e s s with thoughts a b o u t their l e s s t e m p t i n g a s p e c t s . B u d d h i s m , for e x a m p l e , in an effort to b r e a k people's carnal a t t a c h m e n t to their own ( a n d others') flesh, developed methods of meditating on decaying corpses.31 By choosing to

The Divided Self

1

19

s i a r e a t s o m e t h i n g that revolts t h e a u t o m a t i c s y s t e m , t h e rider c a n b e g i n t o c h a n g e w h a t t h e e l e p h a n t will w a n t i n t h e f u t u r e .

M E N T A L

I N T R U S I O N S

Kdgar A l l a n Poe u n d e r s t o o d t h e d i v i d e d m i n d . In The Imp of the Perverse, I'oe's protagonist carries out t h e p e r f e c t murder, inherits t h e d e a d m a n ' s e s tate, a n d lives for years in healthy e n j o y m e n t of his ill-gotten gains. W h e n e v e r thoughts o f the m u r d e r a p p e a r o n the fringes o f his c o n s c i o u s n e s s , h e m u r m u r s to himself, "I am s a f e . " All is well until the day he r e m o d e l s his m a n t r a to "I am s a f e — y e s — i f I be not fool e n o u g h to m a k e o p e n c o n f e s s i o n . " W i t h that thought, h e c o m e s u n d o n e . H e tries t o s u p p r e s s the thought o f c o n f e s s ing, but the harder h e tries, the m o r e insistent the t h o u g h t b e c o m e s . H e p a n ics, h e starts running, p e o p l e start c h a s i n g him, h e b l a c k s out, a n d , w h e n h e returns to his s e n s e s , he is told that he h a s m a d e a full c o n f e s s i o n . [ love this story, for its title a b o v e all e l s e . W h e n e v e r I am on a c l i f f , a r o o f t o p , o r a high b a l c o n y , t h e i m p o f t h e p e r v e r s e w h i s p e r s i n m y ear, " J u m p . " It's n o t a c o m m a n d , it's j u s t a w o r d that p o p s into my c o n s c i o u s n e s s . W h e n I'm at a d i n n e r p a r t y sitting next to s o m e o n e I r e s p e c t , t h e i m p works h a r d t o s u g g e s t t h e m o s t i n a p p r o p r i a t e t h i n g s I c o u l d p o s s i b l y say. W h o o r w h a t i s t h e i m p ? D a n Wegner, o n e o f t h e m o s t p e r v e r s e a n d c r e ative s o c i a l p s y c h o l o g i s t s , h a s d r a g g e d t h e i m p into t h e l a b a n d m a d e i t confess to being an aspect of automatic processing. In Wegner's s t u d i e s , p a r t i c i p a n t s a r e a s k e d to try hardyiot to t h i n k a b o u t s o m e t h i n g , s u c h as a w h i t e bear, or f o o d , or a s t e r e o t y p e . T h i s is h a r d to d o . M o r e i m p o r t a n t , t h e m o m e n t o n e s t o p s trying t o s u p p r e s s a t h o u g h t , t h e thought c o m e s f l o o d i n g i n a n d b e c o m e s e v e n h a r d e r t o b a n i s h . I n o t h e r words, W e g n e r c r e a t e s m i n o r o b s e s s i o n s i n his lab b y i n s t r u c t i n g p e o p l e not t o o b s e s s . W e g n e r e x p l a i n s this e f f e c t a s a n "ironic p r o c e s s " o f m e n t a l c o n liol.-« W h e n c o n t r o l l e d p r o c e s s i n g tries t o i n f l u e n c e t h o u g h t ( " D o n ' t t h i n k nbout a w h i t e b e a r ! " ) , it s e t s up an explicit goal. A n d w h e n e v e r o n e p u r s u e s a goal, a part of t h e m i n d a u t o m a t i c a l l y m o n i t o r s p r o g r e s s , so that it c a n ord e r c o r r e c t i o n s o r k n o w w h e n s u c c e s s h a s b e e n a c h i e v e d . W h e n that g o a l i s m i action i n t h e world ( s u c h a s arriving a t t h e airport o n t i m e ) , this f e e d b a c k

20

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

s y s t e m works well. But w h e n the goal is m e n t a l , it backfires. A u t o m a t i c proc e s s e s continually c h e c k : " A m I not thinking a b o u t a white b e a r ? " As the a c t of monitoring for the a b s e n c e of the thought i n t r o d u c e s the thought, the person m u s t try even harder to divert c o n s c i o u s n e s s . A u t o m a t i c a n d controlled p r o c e s s e s e n d up working at c r o s s p u r p o s e s , firing e a c h other up to ever greater exertions. But b e c a u s e c o n t r o l l e d p r o c e s s e s tire quickly, eventually the inexhaustible a u t o m a t i c p r o c e s s e s run u n o p p o s e d , conjuring up herds of white bears. T h u s , the a t t e m p t to r e m o v e an u n p l e a s a n t thought c a n g u a r a n t e e it a place on your f r e q u e n t - p l a y list of mental ruminations. Now, back to me at that dinner party. My simple thought "don't m a k e a fool of yourself' triggers a u t o m a t i c p r o c e s s e s looking for signs of foolishness. I know that it would be stupid to c o m m e n t on that m o l e on his forehead, or to say "I love you," or to scream obscenities. A n d up in c o n s c i o u s n e s s , I b e c o m e aware of three thoughts: c o m m e n t on the mole, say "I love you," or s c r e a m obscenities. T h e s e are not c o m m a n d s , j u s t ideas that pop into my head. Freud based m u c h of his theory of psychoanalysis on s u c h mental intrusions and free associations, and he found they o f t e n h a v e sexual or aggressive content. But Wegner's research offers a simpler a n d m o r e innocent explanation: Automatic p r o c e s s e s generate thousands of thoughts and images every day, often through random association. T h e o n e s that get s t u c k are the o n e s that particularly shock us, the o n e s we try to s u p p r e s s or deny. T h e reason we suppress them is not that we know, d e e p down, that they're true (although s o m e m a y be), but that they are scary or s h a m e f u l . Yet o n c e we have tried a n d failed to suppress them, they c a n b e c o m e the sorts of obsessive thoughts that m a k e us believe in Freudian notions of a dark and evil u n c o n s c i o u s mind.

T H E

D I F F I C U L T Y

W I N N I N G

A N

O F

A R G U M E N T

C o n s i d e r the following story: Julie and M a r k are sister and brother. T h e y are traveling together in France on s u m m e r vacation from college. O n e night they are staying alone in a cabin near the beach. T h e y d e c i d e that it would be interesting

The Divided Self

1

21

and f u n if they tried m a k i n g love. At the very least, it would be a n e w ex- . perience for e a c h of t h e m . Julie is already taking birth control pills, but Mark u s e s a c o n d o m , too, j u s t to be s a f e . T h e y both enjoy m a k i n g love, but d e c i d e not to do it again. T h e y k e e p that night as a special s e c r e t , which m a k e s t h e m feel even closer to e a c h other. D o y o u think i t i s a c c e p t a b l e for t w o c o n s e n t i n g a d u l t s , w h o h a p p e n t o b e s i b l i n g s , t o m a k e l o v e ? I f y o u a r e like m o s t p e o p l e i n m y s t u d i e s , 3 3 y o u i m m e d i a t e l y a n s w e r e d no. B u t how would you justify that j u d g m e n t ? P e o p l e o f t e n r e a c h first for t h e a r g u m e n t that i n c e s t u o u s s e x l e a d s t o o f f s p r i n g that s u f f e r g e n e t i c a b n o r m a l i t i e s . W h e n I p o i n t o u t that t h e s i b l i n g s u s e d two f o r m s o f birth c o n t r o l , however, n o o n e s a y s , " O h , well, i n t h a t r u s e it's okay." I n s t e a d , p e o p l e begin s e a r c h i n g for o t h e r a r g u m e n t s , f o r exu m p l e , "It's g o i n g to h a r m their r e l a t i o n s h i p . " W h e n I r e s p o n d t h a t in t h i s r u s e t h e sex h a s m a d e t h e r e l a t i o n s h i p stronger, p e o p l e j u s t s c r a t c h t h e i r h e a d s , f r o w n , a n d say, "I k n o w it's w r o n g , I'm j u s t h a v i n g a hard t i m e exp l a i n i n g why." T h e p o i n t o f t h e s e s t u d i e s i s that m o r a l j u d g m e n t i s like a e s t h e t i c j u d g m e n t . W h e n y o u s e e a p a i n t i n g , you u s u a l l y k n o w i n s t a n t l y a n d a u t o m a t i cally w h e t h e r y o u like it. I f s o m e o n e a s k s y o u t o e x p l a i n y o u r j u d g m e n t , you c o n f a b u l a t e . You don't really k n o w w h y y o u thirrk s o m e t h i n g is b e a u t i ful, b u t your i n t e r p r e t e r m o d u l e (the rider) i s skilled a t m a k i n g u p r e a s o n s , us G a z z a n i g a f o u n d in his split-brain s t u d i e s . You s e a r c h f o r a p l a u s i b l e reason for liking t h e p a i n t i n g , a n d y o u l a t c h o n t o t h e first r e a s o n t h a t m a k e s se n s e ( m a y b e s o m e t h i n g v a g u e a b o u t color, or light, or t h e r e f l e c t i o n of t h e pointer i n t h e c l o w n ' s s h i n y n o s e ) . M o r a l a r g u m e n t s a r e m u c h t h e s a m e : T w o p e o p l e f e e l strongly a b o u t a n i s s u e , their f e e l i n g s c o m e first, a n d their r e a s o n s a r e i n v e n t e d on the fly, to throw at e a c h other. W h e n y o u r e f u t e a person's a r g u m e n t , d o e s s h e generally c h a n g e her mind a n d a g r e e with V<>u? O f c o u r s e not, b e c a u s e t h e a r g u m e n t y o u d e f e a t e d w a s not t h e c a u s e o f her p o s i t i o n ; i t w a s m a d e u p a f t e r t h e j u d g m e n t w a s a l r e a d y m a d e . If you listen closely to moral a r g u m e n t s , you c a n s o m e t i m e s h e a r s o m e thing s u r p r i s i n g : that i t i s really the e l e p h a n t h o l d i n g t h e , r e i n s , g u i d i n g t h e rider. I t i s t h e e l e p h a n t w h o d e c i d e s w h a t i s g o o d o r b a d , b e a u t i f u l o r ugly. G u t f e e l i n g s , i n t u i t i o n s , a n d s n a p j u d g m e n t s h a p p e n c o n s t a n t l y a n d

22

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

a u t o m a t i c a l l y (as M a l c o l m G l a d w e l l d e s c r i b e d in Blink),34 but only the rider c a n string s e n t e n c e s t o g e t h e r a n d c r e a t e a r g u m e n t s to give to other p e o p l e . I n moral a r g u m e n t s , the rider g o e s b e y o n d b e i n g j u s t a n advisor t o the e l e p h a n t ; he b e c o m e s a lawyer, f i g h t i n g in the c o u r t of p u b l i c opinion to p e r s u a d e o t h e r s of the e l e p h a n t ' s point of view. T h i s , then, is our situation, l a m e n t e d by S t . Paul, B u d d h a , O v i d , a n d so m a n y others. O u r m i n d s are loose c o n f e d e r a t i o n s o f parts, b u t w e identify with a n d pay too m u c h attention to o n e part: c o n s c i o u s verbal thinking. We are like the proverbial d r u n k e n m a n looking for his car keys u n d e r the street light. ("Did you drop t h e m h e r e ? " a s k s the c o p . " N o " says the m a n , "I d r o p p e d them b a c k there in the alley, b u t the light is better over here.") Bec a u s e w e c a n s e e only o n e little corner o f the mind's vast operation, w e are surprised when urges, wishes, and temptations emerge, seemingly from nowhere. W e m a k e p r o n o u n c e m e n t s , v o w s , a n d r e s o l u t i o n s , a n d then are surprised by our own p o w e r l e s s n e s s to carry t h e m out. We s o m e t i m e s fall into the view that we are fighting with our u n c o n s c i o u s , our id, or our animal self. B u t really we are the w h o l e thing. We a r e the rider, a n d we are the elephant. Both have their s t r e n g t h s a n d s p e c i a l skills. T h e rest of this book is a b o u t how c o m p l e x and partly c l u e l e s s c r e a t u r e s s u c h as o u r s e l v e s c a n get along with e a c h other ( c h a p t e r s 3 a n d 4 ) , f i n d h a p p i n e s s ( c h a p t e r s 5 a n d 6), grow psychologically and morally ( c h a p t e r s 7 a n d 8), a n d find purp o s e a n d m e a n i n g in our lives ( c h a p t e r s 9 a n d 10). B u t first we h a v e to figure out why the e l e p h a n t is s u c h a p e s s i m i s t .

Changing

Your

Mind

The whole universe is change and life itself is hut what you deem it. —

M A R C U S

A U R E L I U S I

What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our •present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: our life is the creation of our mind. —

B U D D H A

2

I H E M O S T I M P O R T A N T I D E A in p o p p s y c h o l o g y is c o n t a i n e d in t h e t w o q u o tations a b o v e : E v e n t s i n t h e world a f f e c t u s only t h r o u g h o u r i n t e r p r e t a tions o f t h e m , s o i f w e c a n control o u r i n t e r p r e t a t i o n s , w e c a n c o n t r o l o u r world. T h e b e s t - s e l l i n g s e l f - h e l p advisor o f all t i m e , D a l e C a r n e g i e , w r i t i n g

i n 1 9 4 4 , c a l l e d the last eight w o r d s o f t h e A u r e l i u s q u o t e "eight w o r d s that c a n t r a n s f o r m your l i f e . " 3 M o r e recently, o n t e l e v i s i o n a n d t h e I n t e r n e t , "Dr. P h i l " (Phil M c G r a w ) s t a t e d a s o n e o f his t e n " l a w s o f life": " T h e r e i s n o reality, o n l y p e r c e p t i o n . " 4 S e l f - h e l p b o o k s a n d s e m i n a r s s o m e t i m e s s e e m t o c o n s i s t o f little m o r e t h a n l e c t u r i n g a n d h e c t o r i n g p e o p l e until I hey u n d e r s t a n d this i d e a a n d its i m p l i c a t i o n s for their lives. It c a n be inspiring to watch: O f t e n a m o m e n t c o m e s when a person c o n s u m e d by years o f r e s e n t m e n t , p a i n , a n d a n g e r realizes that her f a t h e r (for e x a m p l e ) 23

24

'I'LL H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

didn't directly hurt her when he a b a n d o n e d the family; all he did w a s move out of the house. His action was morally wrong, but the pain c a m e from her reactions to the event, and if she c a n c h a n g e those reactions, she can leave behind twenty years of pain and p e r h a p s even get to know her father. T h e art of pop psychology is to develop a m e t h o d (beyond lecturing and hectoring) that guides p e o p l e to that realization. This art is old. C o n s i d e r Anicius B o e t h i u s , born to o n e of the most distinguished R o m a n families in 4 8 0 CE, four years after R o m e fell to the G o t h s . Boethius received the best e d u c a t i o n available in his day and successfully p u r s u e d careers in philosophy a n d public service. He wrote or translated dozens of works on m a t h , s c i e n c e , logic, and theology, at the s a m e time rising to b e c o m e consul of R o m e (the highest elected office) in 510. He was wealthy, he married well, a n d his sons went on to b e c o m e c o n s u l s t h e m s e l v e s . But in 5 2 3 , at t h e p e a k of his p o w e r a n d fortune, Boethius was a c c u s e d of treason toward the Ostrogoth King T h e o d o r i e for remaining loyal to R o m e and its S e n a t e . C o n d e m n e d by the cowardly Senate he had tried to d e f e n d , Boethius was stripped of his wealth and honor, thrown into prison on a remote island, and e x e c u t e d in 5 2 4 . To take something "philosophically" m e a n s to a c c e p t a great misfortune without w e e p i n g or even suffering. We u s e this term in part b e c a u s e of the c a l m n e s s , self-control, a n d c o u r a g e that three ancient p h i l o s o p h e r s — S o c r a t e s , S e n e c a , a n d B o e t h i u s — s h o w e d while they a w a i t e d their executions. But in 'The Consolation of Philosophy, which Boethius wrote while in prison, he c o n f e s s e d that at first he w a s anything but philosophical. He wept and wrote p o e m s a b o u t w e e p i n g . He c u r s e d injustice, and old age, and the G o d d e s s of Fortune, who had b l e s s e d him and then abandoned him. T h e n one night, while Boethius is wallowing in his w r e t c h e d n e s s , the majestic apparition of L a d y Philosophy visits him and p r o c e e d s to chide him for his unphilosophical behavior. L a d y Philosophy then g u i d e s Boethius through reinterpretations that f o r e s h a d o w modern cognitive therapy (described below). S h e begins by asking B o e t h i u s to think a b o u t his relationship with the G o d d e s s of Fortune. Philosophy reminds Boethius that Fortune is fickle, c o m i n g and going as she p l e a s e s . Boethius took Fortune

Changing Your Mind 3 1 u s his m i s t r e s s , fully a w a r e o f her w a y s , a n d s h e s t a y e d with h i m f o r a l o n g l i m e . W h a t right h a s h e n o w t o d e m a n d t h a t s h e b e c h a i n e d t o h i s s i d e ? I ,ady P h i l o s o p h y p r e s e n t s Fortune's d e f e n s e : Why should I a l o n e be deprived of my rights? T h e heavens are p e r m i t t e d to grant bright days, then blot them out with dark nights; the year m a y d e c o r a t e the f a c e of the earth with flowers a n d fruits, then m a k e it barren again with c l o u d s a-nd frost; the s e a is allowed to invite t h e sailor with fair weather, t h e n terrify him with s t o r m s . Shall I, t h e n , p e r m i t man's insatiable cupidity to tie me d o w n to a s a m e n e s s that is a l i e n to my h a b i t s ? 5 L a d y P h i l o s o p h y r e f r a m e s c h a n g e a s n o r m a l a n d a s t h e right o f F o r t u n e . ( " The w h o l e u n i v e r s e i s c h a n g e , " A u r e l i u s h a d s a i d . ) B o e t h i u s w a s f o r t u n a t e ; n o w h e i s not. T h a t i s n o c a u s e for anger. Rather, h e s h o u l d b e g r a t e f u l that h e e n j o y e d F o r t u n e for s o long, a n d h e s h o u l d b e c a l m n o w t h a t s h e h a s left h i m : " N o m a n c a n ever b e s e c u r e until h e h a s b e e n f o r s a k e n b y Fortune."6 L a d y Philosophy tries several other r e f r a m i n g tactics. S h e p o i n t s out II i
26

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

I don't m e a n to imply that The Consolation of Philosophy is j u s t R o m a n p o p psychology, hut it d o e s tell a story of f r e e d o m through insight that I would like to q u e s t i o n . In the p r e v i o u s chapter, I s u g g e s t e d that our divided self is like a rider on the b a c k of an e l e p h a n t , a n d I said that we give far too m u c h i m p o r t a n c e to the r i d e r — c o n s c i o u s thought. L a d y Philosophy, like the p o p psychology g u r u s of today, w a s working with the rider, guiding him to a m o m e n t of c o g n i t i v e i n s i g h t a n d r e f r a m i n g . Yet, if y o u h a v e ever achieved s u c h dramatic insights into your own life a n d resolved to c h a n g e your ways or your outlook, you p r o b a b l y f o u n d that, three m o n t h s later, you were right b a c k w h e r e you s t a r t e d . E p i p h a n i e s c a n b e life-altering, 8 b u t most f a d e in days or weeks. T h e rider can't j u s t d e c i d e to c h a n g e a n d then order the elephant t o g o along.with the p r o g r a m . L a s t i n g c h a n g e c a n c o m e only by retraining the e l e p h a n t , a n d that's hard to do. W h e n p o p psychology programs are s u c c e s s f u l in h e l p i n g p e o p l e , which they s o m e t i m e s are, they s u c c e e d not b e c a u s e of the initial m o m e n t of insight b u t b e c a u s e they find ways t o alter p e o p l e ' s b e h a v i o r over t h e f o l l o w i n g m o n t h s . T h e y k e e p people involved with the program long e n o u g h to retrain the. e l e p h a n t . T h i s c h a p t e r is a b o u t why the e l e p h a n t t e n d s toward worry and p e s s i m i s m in so many p e o p l e , a n d about three tools that the rider c a n u s e to retrain it.

T H E

L I K E - O - M E T E R

T h e m o s t important words in the e l e p h a n t ' s l a n g u a g e are "like" a n d "dislike," or " a p p r o a c h " and "withdraw." E v e n the s i m p l e s t a n i m a l m u s t m a k e d e c i s i o n s at every m o m e n t : L e f t or right? Go or s t o p ? E a t or don't e a t ? Animals with brains c o m p l e x e n o u g h t o have e m o t i o n s m a k e t h e s e d e c i s i o n s effortlessly and automatically by having w h a t is s o m e t i m e s called a "like-om e t e r " r u n n i n g in their h e a d s at all t i m e s . If a m o n k e y t a s t i n g a n e w fruit feels a s w e e t s e n s a t i o n , its l i k e - o - m e t e r r e g i s t e r s "I like it"; the m o n k e y feels p l e a s u r e and bites right in. If the t a s t e is bitter, a flash of d i s p l e a s u r e d i s c o u r a g e s f u r t h e r e a t i n g . T h e r e ' s n o n e e d for a w e i g h i n g o f p r o s a n d c o n s , or for a reasoning s y s t e m . J u s t f l a s h e s of p l e a s u r e a n d d i s p l e a s u r e . We h u m a n s have a like-o-meter too, a n d it's always running. Its influe n c e is s u b t l e , but c a r e f u l e x p e r i m e n t s s h o w that you h a v e a like-dislike re-

Changing Your Mind 3 1 a c t i o n t o e v e r y t h i n g y o u a r e e x p e r i e n c i n g , e v e n i f you're n o t a w a r e o f t h e e x p e r i e n c e . For e x a m p l e , s u p p o s e you a r e a p a r t i c i p a n t i n a n e x p e r i m e n t o n w h a t i s k n o w n a s " a f f e c t i v e p r i m i n g . " You sit i n f r o n t o f a c o m p u t e r s c r e e n a n d s t a r e at a dot in t h e center. E v e r y f e w s e c o n d s , a w o r d is f l a s h e d over t h e dot. All you h a v e to do is tap a key with y o u r left h a n d if t h e w o r d m e a n s s o m e t h i n g g o o d o r l i k a b l e ( s u c h a s g a r d e n , h o p e , f u n ) , o r t a p a key with y o u r right h a n d i f t h e w o r d m e a n s s o m e t h i n g b a d o r d i s l i k a b l e ( d e a t h , tyranny, b o r e d o m ) . I t s e e m s easy, b u t for s o m e r e a s o n y o u f i n d y o u r s e l f h e s i t a t i n g for a split s e c o n d o n s o m e o f t h e w o r d s . U n b e k n o w n s t t o y o u , the c o m p u t e r i s a l s o f l a s h i n g u p a n o t h e r w o r d , right o n t h e d o t , j u s t f o r a l ew h u n d r e d t h s of a s e c o n d b e f o r e p u t t i n g up t h e target w o r d you're r a t i n g . Though t h e s e w o r d s a r e p r e s e n t e d s u b l i m i n a l l y ( b e l o w t h e level o f y o u r a w a r e n e s s ) , your intuitive s y s t e m i s s o fast that i t r e a d s a n d r e a c t s t o t h e m with a l i k e - o - m e t e r rating. If t h e s u b l i m i n a l w o r d is fear, it w o u l d r e g i s t e r negative on y o u r Iike-o-meter, m a k i n g you f e e l a tiny f l a s h of d i s p l e a s u r e ; a n d t h e n , a split s e c o n d later, w h e n y o u s e e t h e w o r d boredom, y o u w o u l d m o r e q u i c k l y s a y that b o r e d o m i s b a d . Your n e g a t i v e e v a l u a t i o n o f b o r e d o m has b e e n f a c i l i t a t e d , o r " p r i m e d , " b y y o u r tiny f l a s h o f n e g a t i v i t y t o w a r d lear. If, however, t h e w o r d f o l l o w i n g / e a r is garden, you w o u l d t a k e l o n g e r to say t h a t g a r d e n is g o o d , b e c a u s e of t h e t i m e it t a k e s for y o u r l i k e - o - m e t e r to shift from bad to good.9 The d i s c o v e r y of a f f e c t i v e p r i m i n g in t h e 1 9 8 0 s o p e n e d up a w o r l d of indirect m e a s u r e m e n t i n psychology. I t b e c a m e p o s s i b l e t o b y p a s s t h e r i d e r and t a l k directly t o t h e e l e p h a n t , a n d w h a t t h e e l e p h a n t h a s t o s a y i s s o m e t i m e s d i s t u r b i n g . For e x a m p l e , w h a t if, i n s t e a d o f f l a s h i n g s u b l i m i n a l words, we use photographs of black and white f a c e s ? R e s e a r c h e r s have f o u n d t h a t A m e r i c a n s o f all a g e s , c l a s s e s , a n d p o l i t i c a l a f f i l i a t i o n s r e a c t with a f l a s h o f negativity t o b l a c k f a c e s o r t o o t h e r i m a g e s a n d w o r d s a s s o c i a t e d with A f r i c a n - A m e r i c a n c u l t u r e . 1 0 P e o p l e w h o r e p o r t b e i n g u n p r e j udiced against blacks show, on average, a slightly smaller a u t o m a t i c p r e j u d i c e , b u t a p p a r e n t l y t h e rider a n d t h e e l e p h a n t e a c h h a v e a n o p i n i o n . (You c a n t e s t your o w n e l e p h a n t at: w w w . p r o j e c t i m p l i c i t . c o m . ) E v e n m a n y A f r i c a n A m e r i c a n s s h o w this i m p l i c i t p r e j u d i c e , a l t h o u g h o t h e r s s h o w a n implicit p r e f e r e n c e for b l a c k f a c e s a n d n a m e s . O n . b a l a n c e , A f r i c a n A m e r i c a n s c o m e Out with no i m p l i c i t bias e i t h e r way.

28

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

O n e o f the m o s t bizarre d e m o n s t r a t i o n s o f t h e l i k e - o - m e t e r i n a c t i o n c o m e s from the work of Brett P e l h a m , " w h o has discovered that one's likeo-meter is triggered by one's own n a m e . W h e n e v e r y o u s e e or hear a word that r e s e m b l e s your n a m e , a little flash of pleasure b i a s e s you toward thinking the thing is good. So when a m a n n a m e d D e n n i s is considering a career, he ponders the possibilities: "Lawyer, doctor, banker, dentist . . . dentist . . . something a b o u t dentist j u s t feels right." A n d , in fact, p e o p l e n a m e d D e n n i s or D e n i s e are slightly more likely than p e o p l e with other n a m e s to b e c o m e dentists. M e n n a m e d L a w r e n c e a n d w o m e n n a m e d L a u r i e are more likely to b e c o m e lawyers. L o u i s and L o u i s e are m o r e likely to m o v e to Louisiana or St. Louis, a n d G e o r g e and G e o r g i n a are m o r e likely to m o v e to Georgia. T h e own-name p r e f e r e n c e even s h o w s up in marriage records: People are slightly m o r e likely to marry people w h o s e n a m e s s o u n d like their own, even if the similarity is j u s t sharing a first initial. W h e n Pelham p r e s e n t e d his findings to my a c a d e m i c d e p a r t m e n t , I was s h o c k e d to realize that m o s t of the married people in the room illustrated his c l a i m : Jerry and Judy, Brian and Bethany, and the winners were me, J o n , and my wife, Jayne. T h e u n s e t t l i n g i m p l i c a t i o n o f P e l h a m ' s work i s that t h e three b i g g e s t d e c i s i o n s m o s t of us m a k e — w h a t to do with our lives, where to live, and w h o m to m a r r y — c a n all be i n f l u e n c e d (even if only slightly) by s o m e t h i n g as trivial as the s o u n d of a n a m e . L i f e is i n d e e d what we d e e m it, but the d e e m i n g h a p p e n s quickly a n d u n c o n s c i o u s l y . T h e e l e p h a n t reacts instinctively and steers the rider toward a n e w destination.

N E G A T I V I T Y

BIAS

Clinical psychologists s o m e t i m e s say that two kinds of p e o p l e s e e k therapy: t h o s e w h o n e e d tightening, a n d t h o s e w h o n e e d l o o s e n i n g . But for every patient s e e k i n g help in b e c o m i n g m o r e o r g a n i z e d , self-controlled, and r e s p o n s i b l e a b o u t her f u t u r e , t h e r e is a waiting r o o m full of p e o p l e h o p i n g t o l o o s e n u p , lighten u p , a n d worry less a b o u t the s t u p i d things they said at yesterday's s t a f f m e e t i n g or a b o u t the rejection they are s u r e will follow tomorrow's lunch d a t e . For m o s t p e o p l e , the e l e p h a n t s e e s too many things as bad a n d not e n o u g h as g o o d .

Changing Your Mind 3 1 It m a k e s s e n s e . If you w e r e d e s i g n i n g the m i n d of a fish, w o u l d y o u h a v e it r e s p o n d a s strongly t o o p p o r t u n i t i e s a s t o t h r e a t s ? N o way. T h e c o s t o f m i s s ing a c u e that signals food is low; o d d s are that there a r e o t h e r fish in t h e s e a , a n d o n e m i s t a k e won't lead to starvation. T h e c o s t of m i s s i n g the s i g n of a nearby predator, however, c a n he c a t a s t r o p h i c . G a m e over, e n d of t h e line for t h o s e g e n e s . O f c o u r s e , evolution h a s n o designer, but m i n d s c r e a t e d b y natural s e l e c t i o n e n d u p looking (to u s ) a s t h o u g h they w e r e d e s i g n e d b e c a u s e 11 icy generally p r o d u c e behavior that is flexibly a d a p t i v e in their e c o l o g i c a l niches. ( S e e S t e v e n P i n k e r 1 2 on how natural s e l e c t i o n d e s i g n s w i t h o u t a designer.) S o m e c o m m o n a l i t i e s o f a n i m a l life e v e n c r e a t e s i m i l a r i t i e s a c r o s s s p e c i e s that we m i g h t call d e s i g n principles. O n e s u c h principle is t h a t bad is stronger than good. R e s p o n s e s to t h r e a t s a n d u n p l e a s a n t n e s s a r e f a s t e r , stronger, a n d harder to inhibit than r e s p o n s e s to o p p o r t u n i t i e s a n d p l e a s u r e s . T h i s p r i n c i p l e , c a l l e d "negativity b i a s , " 1 3 s h o w s u p all over p s y c h o l o g y . In marital i n t e r a c t i o n s , it t a k e s at l e a s t five g o o d or c o n s t r u c t i v e a c t i o n s to m a k e u p f o r t h e d a m a g e d o n e b y o n e critical o r d e s t r u c t i v e a c t . 1 4 I n f i n a n cial t r a n s a c t i o n s a n d g a m b l e s , t h e p l e a s u r e o f g a i n i n g a c e r t a i n a m o u n t o f money is smaller than the pain of losing the s a m e a m o u n t . 1 5 In e v a l u a t i n g a p e r s o n ' s c h a r a c t e r , p e o p l e e s t i m a t e that i t w o u l d t a k e twenty-five a c t s o f life-saving h e r o i s m t o m a k e u p for o n e a c t o f m u r d e r . 1 6 W h e n p r e p a r i n g a m e a l , f o o d is easily c o n t a m i n a t e d (by a s i n g l e c o c k r o a c h a n t e n n a ) , b u t difficult t o purify. O v e r a n d o v e r a g a i n , p s y c h o l o g i s t s f i n d that t h e h u m a n m i n d r e a c t s t o b a d things m o r e quickly, strongly, a n d p e r s i s t e n t l y t h a n t o e q u i v a l e n t g o o d t h i n g s . W e c a n ' t j u s t will o u r s e l v e s t o s e e e v e r y t h i n g a s good b e c a u s e our m i n d s a r e wired t o f i n d a n d r e a c t t o t h r e a t s , v i o l a t i o n s , a n d s e t b a c k s . A s B e n F r a n k l i n s a i d : " W e a r e not s o s e n s i b l e o f t h e g r e a t e s t I lealth as of t h e l e a s t S i c k n e s s . " 1 7 I lere's a n o t h e r c a n d i d a t e for a d e s i g n p r i n c i p l e of a n i m a l life: O p p o s i n g s y s t e m s p u s h a g a i n s t e a c h o t h e r t o r e a c h a b a l a n c e p o i n t , b u t the b a l a n c e point i s a d j u s t a b l e . W h e n y o u m o v e your a r m , o n e s e t o f m u s c l e s e x t e n d s i t tilul a n o t h e r c o n t r a c t s it. B o t h are a l w a y s slightly t e n s e d , ready for a c t i o n . Your heart r a t e a n d b r e a t h i n g a r e r e g u l a t e d b y a n a u t o n o m i c n e r v o u s s y s t e m c o m p o s e d o f two s u b s y s t e m s that p u s h your o r g a n s i n o p p o s i t e d i r e c t i o n s : T h e s y m p a t h e t i c s y s t e m p r e p a r e s y o u r b o d y for " f i g h t o r f l i g h t " a n d t h e p a r a s y m p a t h e t i c s y s t e m c a l m s y o u d o w n . B o t h a r e a c t i v e all t h e t i m e , i n

30

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

different ratios. Your behavior is governed by o p p o s i n g motivational s y s t e m s : an a p p r o a c h s y s t e m , which triggers positive e m o t i o n s and m a k e s you want to m o v e toward certain things; a n d a withdrawal system, w h i c h triggers negative e m o t i o n s and m a k e s you want to pull b a c k or avoid other things. Both s y s t e m s are always active, monitoring the environment, a n d the two s y s t e m s c a n p r o d u c e o p p o s i n g motives at the s a m e t i m e 1 8 (as w h e n you feel ambival e n c e ) , but their relative b a l a n c e d e t e r m i n e s which way you m o v e . ( T h e " l i k e - o - m e t e r " is a m e t a p h o r for this b a l a n c i n g p r o c e s s a n d its s u b t l e m o m e n t - b y - m o m e n t f l u c t u a t i o n s . ) T h e b a l a n c e c a n shift in an instant: You are drawn by curiosity to an a c c i d e n t s c e n e , but then recoil in horror w h e n you s e e the blood that you could not have b e e n surprised to see. You want to talk to a stranger, but you find yourself s u d d e n l y paralyzed when you app r o a c h that p e r s o n . T h e withdrawal s y s t e m c a n quickly s h o o t u p t o full power, 1 9 overtaking the slower (and generally weaker) a p p r o a c h system. O n e reason the withdrawal s y s t e m is so q u i c k a n d c o m p e l l i n g is that it gets first crack at all i n c o m i n g information. All neural i m p u l s e s from the eyes and ears go first to the t h a l a m u s , a kind of central switching station in the brain. From the t h a l a m u s , neural i m p u l s e s are sent out to special sensory p r o c e s s i n g areas in the cortex; and from those areas, information is relayed to the frontal cortex, where it is integrated with other higher mental p r o c e s s e s and your ongoing stream of c o n s c i o u s n e s s . If at the e n d of this p r o c e s s you b e c o m e aware of a hissing s n a k e in front of you, you c o u l d d e c i d e to run away and then order your legs to start moving. B u t b e c a u s e neural i m p u l s e s move only at about thirty meters per s e c o n d , this fairly long path, including decision time, could easily take a s e c o n d or two. It's e a s y to s e e why a neural shortcut would be a d v a n t a g e o u s , a n d the a m y g d a l a is that shortcut. T h e amygdala, sitting j u s t u n d e r the t h a l a m u s , d i p s into the river of u n p r o c e s s e d information flowing through the t h a l a m u s , a n d it r e s p o n d s to patterns that in the p a s t were a s s o c i a t e d with danger. T h e amygdala h a s a direct connection to the part of the brainstem that activates the fight-or-flight r e s p o n s e , and if the amygdala finds a pattern that was part of a previous fear e p i s o d e (such as the sound of a hiss), it orders the body to red alert. 2 0 You have felt this h a p p e n . If you have ever thought you were alone in a room a n d then heard a voice b e h i n d you, or if you have ever s e e n a horror

Changing Your Mind

3 1

m o v i e in w h i c h a k n i f e - w i e l d i n g m a n i a c j u m p s into t h e f r a m e w i t h o u t a m u s i c a l f o r e w a r n i n g , y o u p r o h a b l y f l i n c h e d , a n d your h e a r t r a t e s h o t u p . Your body r e a c t e d with f e a r (via t h e q u i c k a m y g d a l a p a t h ) i n t h e f i r s t t e n t h o f a s e c o n d b e f o r e y o u c o u l d m a k e s e n s e o f t h e e v e n t (via t h e s l o w e r c o r t i cal p a t h ) i n t h e next n i n e - t e n t h s o f a s e c o n d . T h o u g h t h e a m y g d a l a d o e s p r o c e s s s o m e p o s i t i v e i n f o r m a t i o n , t h e b r a i n h a s no. e q u i v a l e n t " g r e e n a l e r t " s y s t e m to n o t i f y y o u instantly of a d e l i c i o u s m e a l or a likely m a t e . S u c h appraisals can take a second or two. O n c e again, b a d is stronger a n d f a s t e r t h a n g o o d . T h e e l e p h a n t r e a c t s b e f o r e t h e rider e v e n s e e s t h e s n a k e 011 t h e p a t h . A l t h o u g h y o u c a n tell y o u r s e l f t h a t y o u a r e n o t a f r a i d o f s n a k e s , i f your e l e p h a n t f e a r s t h e m a n d r e a r s u p , yoti'll still b e t h r o w n . O n e final p o i n t a b o u t t h e a m y g d a l a : N o t only d o e s i t r e a c h d o w n t o t h e b r a i n s t e m to trigger a r e s p o n s e to d a n g e r b u t it r e a c h e s up to t h e f r o n t a l c o r t e x to c h a n g e y o u r t h i n k i n g . It s h i f t s t h e e n t i r e b r a i n over to a w i t h drawal orientation. T h e r e i s a two-way s t r e e t b e t w e e n e m o t i o n s a n d c o n s c i o u s t h o u g h t s : T h o u g h t s c a n c a u s e e m o t i o n s ( a s w h e n you r e f l e c t o n a foolish t h i n g y o u s a i d ) , b u t e m o t i o n s c a n a l s o c a u s e t h o u g h t s , primarily b y l a i s i n g m e n t a l filters that b i a s s u b s e q u e n t i n f o r m a t i o n p r o c e s s i n g . A f l a s h of f e a r m a k e s you extra vigilant for a d d i t i o n a l t h r e a t s ; y o u l o o k at t h e w o r l d t h r o u g h a filter that i n t e r p r e t s a m b i g u o u s e v e n t s as p o s s i b l e d a n g e r s . A f l a s h o f a n g e r t o w a r d s o m e o n e r a i s e s a filter t h r o u g h w h i c h y o u s e e everylliing t h e o f f e n d i n g p e r s o n s a y s o r d o e s a s a f u r t h e r insult o r t r a n s g r e s s i o n . I c c l i n g s o f s a d n e s s b l i n d y o u t o all p l e a s u r e s a n d o p p o r t u n i t i e s . A s o n e f a m o u s d e p r e s s i v e p u t it: " H o w weary, s t a l e , f l a t , a n d u n p r o f i t a b l e s e e m t o m e all t h e u s e s o f this w o r l d ! " 2 1 S o w h e n S h a k e s p e a r e ' s H a m l e t later o f f e r s his o w n p a r a p h r a s e o f M a r c u s A u r e l i u s — " T h e r e i s n o t h i n g e i t h e r g o o d o r had b u t t h i n k i n g m a k e s i t s o " 2 2 — h e i s right, b u t h e m i g h t h a v e a d d e d t h a t his negative e m o t i o n s a r e ' m a k i n g his t h i n k i n g m a k e e v e r y t h i n g b a d .

T H E

C O R T I C A L

L O T T E R Y

I l a m l e t w a s unlucky. H i s u n c l e a n d his m o t h e r c o n s p i r e d t o m u r d e r his f a ther, t h e king. B u t his l o n g a n d d e e p d e p r e s s i v e r e a c t i o n t o this s e t b a c k

32

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

suggests that he was unlucky in a n o t h e r way too: He w a s by nature a pessimist. W h e n it c o m e s to explaining personality, it's always true that nature a n d nurture work together. B u t it's a l s o true that n a t u r e plays a bigger role than m o s t people-realize. C o n s i d e r the identical twin sisters D a p h n e and Barbara. R a i s e d o u t s i d e L o n d o n , they b o t h left s c h o o l at the a g e of f o u r t e e n , went to work in local g o v e r n m e n t , m e t their f u t u r e h u s b a n d s at the a g e of sixteen at local town hall d a n c e s , s u f f e r e d m i s c a r r i a g e s at the s a m e time, a n d then e a c h gave birth to two boys a n d a girl. T h e y f e a r e d m a n y of the s a m e things (blood a n d heights) a n d exhibited u n u s u a l habits ( e a c h drank her c o f f e e cold; e a c h d e v e l o p e d the habit of p u s h i n g up her n o s e with the p a l m of the h a n d , a g e s t u r e they both c a l l e d " s q u i d g i n g " ) . N o n e of this m a y s u r p r i s e you until you learn that s e p a r a t e f a m i l i e s h a d a d o p t e d D a p h n e a n d B a r b a r a as i n f a n t s ; neither e v e n k n e w of t h e other's e x i s t e n c e until they w e r e reunited at the a g e of forty. W f i e n they finally did m e e t , they were wearing a l m o s t identical c l o t h i n g . 2 3 S u c h strings o f c o i n c i d e n c e s a r e c o m m o n a m o n g identical twins w h o w e r e s e p a r a t e d a t birth, but they d o not h a p p e n a m o n g fraternal twins who were similarly s e p a r a t e d . 2 4 On j u s t a b o u t every trait that has b e e n studied, identical twins (who s h a r e all their g e n e s a n d s p e n d the s a m e n i n e months in the s a m e w o m b ) are m o r e similar than same-sex fraternal twins (who share only half their g e n e s a n d s p e n d the s a m e n i n e m o n t h s in the s a m e womb). T h i s finding m e a n s that g e n e s m a k e at least s o m e contribution to nearly every trait. W h e t h e r the trait is intelligence, extroversion, fearfulness, religiosity, political leaning, liking for jazz, or dislike of spicy foods, identical twins are more similar than fraternal twins, a n d they are usually almost as similar if they were separated at birth. 2 5 G e n e s are not blueprints specifying the structure of a person; they are better thought of as recipes for producing a person over m a n y years. 2 6 B e c a u s e identical twins are c r e a t e d from the s a m e recipe, their brains end up b e i n g fairly similar (though not identical), and these similar brains p r o d u c e m a n y of the s a m e idiosyncratic behaviors. Fraternal twins, on the other hand, are m a d e from two different recipes that h a p p e n to share half their instructions. Fraternal twins don't e n d up being 50 percent similar to e a c h other; they e n d up with radically different brains,

Changing Your Mind 3 1 a n d therefore radically d i f f e r e n t p e r s o n a l i t i e s — a l m o s t a s d i f f e r e n t a s p e o p l e from u n r e l a t e d f a m i l i e s . 2 7 D a p h n e a n d B a r b a r a c a m e t o b e k n o w n a s t h e "giggle t w i n s . " B o t h h a v e s u n n y p e r s o n a l i t i e s a n d a h a b i t o f b u r s t i n g into l a u g h t e r i n m i d - s e n t e n c e . I'hey w o n t h e c o r t i c a l l o t t e r y — t h e i r b r a i n s w e r e p r e c o n f i g u r e d t o s e e g o o d i n the world. O t h e r p a i r s o f twins, however, w e r e b o r n t o look o n t h e d a r k side. I n f a c t , h a p p i n e s s i s o n e o f t h e m o s t highly h e r i t a b l e a s p e c t s o f p e r sonality. T w i n s t u d i e s g e n e r a l l y s h o w that f r o m 5 0 p e r c e n t t o 8 0 p e r c e n t o f nil the v a r i a n c e a m o n g p e o p l e in their average levels of h a p p i n e s s c a n be explained by d i f f e r e n c e s in their g e n e s rather than in their life experie n c e s . 2 8 ( P a r t i c u l a r e p i s o d e s o f joy o r d e p r e s s i o n , h o w e v e r , m u s t u s u a l l y b e u n d e r s t o o d by l o o k i n g at h o w life e v e n t s i n t e r a c t with a p e r s o n ' s e m o t i o n a l predisposition.) A p e r s o n ' s a v e r a g e or typical level of h a p p i n e s s is that p e r s o n ' s " a f f e c t i v e style." ( " A f f e c t " r e f e r s t o t h e felt o r e x p e r i e n c e d p a r t o f e m o t i o n . ) Your affective style r e f l e c t s t h e everyday b a l a n c e o f p o w e r b e t w e e n y o u r a p p r o a c h s y s t e m a n d y o u r w i t h d r a w a l s y s t e m , a n d t h i s b a l a n c e c a n b e r e a d right from your f o r e h e a d . I t h a s l o n g b e e n k n o w n f r o m s t u d i e s o f b r a i n w a v e s that m o s t p e o p l e s h o w a n a s y m m e t r y : m o r e a c t i v i t y e i t h e r i n t h e r i g h t frontal c o r t e x o r i n t h e left frontal cortex. I n t h e l a t e 1 9 8 0 s , R i c h a r d D a v i d son a t t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f W i s c o n s i n d i s c o v e r e d t h a t t h e s e a s y m m e t r i e s c o r related with a person's general t e n d e n c i e s to e x p e r i e n c e positive a n d negative e m o t i o n s . People showing m o r e of a certain kind of b r a i n w a v e c o m i n g t h r o u g h t h e left s i d e o f t h e f o r e h e a d r e p o r t e d f e e l i n g m o r e h a p p i n e s s i n their daily lives a n d l e s s fear, anxiety, a n d s h a m e t h a n p e o p l e exhibiting h i g h e r activity o n t h e right s i d e . L a t e r r e s e a r c h s h o w e d t h a t t h e s e cortical " l e f t i e s " a r e l e s s s u b j e c t t o d e p r e s s i o n a n d r e c o v e r m o r e q u i c k l y from n e g a t i v e e x p e r i e n c e s . 2 9 T h e d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n c o r t i c a l r i g h t i e s a n d lefties c a n b e s e e n e v e n i n i n f a n t s : T e n - m o n t h - o l d b a b i e s s h o w i n g m o r e m t ivity on t h e right s i d e a r e m o r e likely to c r y w h e n s e p a r a t e d b r i e f l y f r o m their m o t h e r s . 3 0 A n d this d i f f e r e n c e i n i n f a n c y a p p e a r s t o r e f l e c t a n a s p e c t o f p e r s o n a l i t y that i s s t a b l e , for m o s t p e o p l e , all t h e w a y t h r o u g h a d u l t h o o d . 3 1 B a b i e s w h o s h o w a lot m o r e activity o n t h e right s i d e o f t h e f o r e head b e c o m e toddlers w h o are more anxious about novel situations; as

34

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

t e e n a g e r s , they are m o r e likely t o b e f e a r f u l a b o u t d a t i n g a n d s o c i a l activities; a n d , finally, a s a d u l t s , they a r e m o r e likely t o n e e d p s y c h o t h e r a p y t o l o o s e n up. H a v i n g lost o u t in t h e c o r t i c a l lottery, they will s t r u g g l e all their lives t o w e a k e n the grip o f a n o v e r a c t i v e w i t h d r a w a l s y s t e m . O n c e w h e n a friend of m i n e with a n e g a t i v e a f f e c t i v e s t y l e w a s b e m o a n i n g her life situation, s o m e o n e s u g g e s t e d that a m o v e to a d i f f e r e n t city w o u l d s u i t her well. " N o , " s h e said, "I c a n be u n h a p p y a n y w h e r e . " S h e m i g h t as well have q u o t e d J o h n Milton's p a r a p h r a s e o f A u r e l i u s : " T h e m i n d i s its o w n p l a c e , a n d in itself c a n m a k e a h e a v e n of hell, a hell of h e a v e n . " 3 2

SCAN

YOUR

BRAIN

W h i c h set of s t a t e m e n t s is m o r e true of y o u ? S e t A: • • • •

I'm always willing to try something new if I think it will be fun. If I s e e a c h a n c e to get s o m e t h i n g I want I move on it right away. W h e n good things h a p p e n to m e , it a f f e c t s me strongly. I often act on the s p u r of the m o m e n t .

S e t B: • • • •

I worry about m a k i n g m i s t a k e s . Criticism or scolding hurts me q u i t e a bit. I feel worried w h e n I think I have d o n e poorly at s o m e t h i n g important. I have m a n y fears c o m p a r e d to my f r i e n d s .

People who endorse S e t A over S e t B have a more approach-oriented style and, on average, show greater cortical activity on the left side of the f o r e h e a d . People w h o e n d o r s e S e t B h a v e a m o r e withdrawaloriented style and, on average, s h o w greater cortical activity on the right side. (Scale adapted from Carver & White, 1994. Copyright © 1 9 9 4 by the American Psychological Association. A d a p t e d with permission.)

Changing Your Mind 3 1 H o w

TO

C H A N G E

YO U R

M I N D

If I h a d an identical twin brother, he w o u l d probably d r e s s badly. I h a v e always h a t e d s h o p p i n g , a n d I c a n recognize only six colors by n a m e . S e v e r a l t i m e s I have resolved to i m p r o v e my style, a n d have e v e n a c c e d e d to w o m e n ' s r e q u e s t s t o take m e s h o p p i n g , but i t w a s n o u s e . E a c h t i m e I q u i c k l y ret u r n e d to my familiar ways, w h i c h w e r e s t u c k in the early 1 9 8 0 s . I c o u l d n ' t j u s t d e c i d e t o c h a n g e , t o b e c o m e s o m e t h i n g I'm not, b y s h e e r f o r c e o f will. I n s t e a d , I f o u n d a m o r e r o u n d a b o u t way to c h a n g e : I got m a r r i e d . N o w I have a c l o s e t full of n i c e c l o t h e s , a f e w p a i r i n g s that I have m e m o r i z e d as a p propriate c h o i c e s , a n d a style c o n s u l t a n t w h o r e c o m m e n d s v a r i a t i o n s . You c a n c h a n g e y o u r a f f e c t i v e style too-—but a g a i n , y o u c a n ' t d o i t b y s h e e r f o r c e o f will. You h a v e t o d o s o m e t h i n g that will c h a n g e y o u r r e p e r toire o f a v a i l a b l e t h o u g h t s . H e r e a r e t h r e e o f the b e s t m e t h o d s for d o i n g s o : m e d i t a t i o n , c o g n i t i v e therapy, a n d P r o z a c . All t h r e e a r e e f f e c t i v e b e c a u s e they w o r k o n the e l e p h a n t .

Meditation S u p p o s e you read a b o u t a pill that you c o u l d t a k e o n c e a day to r e d u c e anxiety a n d i n c r e a s e y o u r c o n t e n t m e n t . W o u l d y o u t a k e it? S u p p o s e f u r t h e r that t h e pill h a s a g r e a t variety of s i d e e f f e c t s , all of t h e m g o o d : i n c r e a s e d s e l f - e s t e e m , e m p a t h y , a n d trust; i t e v e n i m p r o v e s m e m o r y . S u p p o s e , finally, that t h e pill i s all n a t u r a l a n d c o s t s n o t h i n g . N o w w o u l d y o u t a k e it? T h e pill exists. It is m e d i t a t i o n . 3 3 It h a s b e e n d i s c o v e r e d by m a n y relig i o u s traditions a n d w a s i n u s e i n India l o n g b e f o r e B u d d h a , b u t B u d d h i s m b r o u g h t i t into m a i n s t r e a m W e s t e r n c u l t u r e . T h e r e a r e m a n y k i n d s o f m e d itation, b u t they all h a v e i n c o m m o n a c o n s c i o u s a t t e m p t t o f o c u s a t t e n t i o n in a n o n a n a l y t i c a l w a y . 3 4 It s o u n d s e a s y : Sit still (in m o s t f o r m s ) a n d f o c u s a w a r e n e s s only o n y o u r b r e a t h i n g , o r o n a w o r d , o r o n a n i m a g e , a n d let n o o t h e r w o r d s , i d e a s , o r i m a g e s a r i s e i n c o n s c i o u s n e s s . M e d i t a t i o n is, h o w ever, extraordinarily d i f f i c u l t a t first, a n d c o n f r o n t i n g your r e p e a t e d f a i l u r e s i n t h e first w e e k s t e a c h e s t h e rider l e s s o n s i n h u m i l i t y a n d p a t i e n c e . T h e goal o f m e d i t a t i o n i s t o c h a n g e a u t o m a t i c t h o u g h t p r o c e s s e s , t h e r e b y t a m ing t h e e l e p h a n t . A n d t h e p r o o f o f t a m i n g i s t h e b r e a k i n g o f a t t a c h m e n t s .

36

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

M y d o g Andy has two main a t t a c h m e n t s , through w h i c h h e interprets everything that h a p p e n s in my h o u s e : e a t i n g m e a t a n d not b e i n g left alone. If my wife a n d I s t a n d near the front door, he b e c o m e s a n x i o u s . If we p i c k up our keys, o p e n the door, a n d say, " B e a g o o d boy," his tail, h e a d , a n d s o m e h o w even his hips droop pathetically toward the floor. B u t if we then say, "Andy, c o m e , " he's electrified with joy a n d s h o o t s p a s t us through the doorway. Andy's fear of being left a l o n e gives h i m m a n y m o m e n t s of anxiety throughout the day, a f e w hours of d e s p a i r ( w h e n he is left a l o n e ) , a n d a few m i n u t e s of joy ( e a c h t i m e his s o l i t u d e is relieved). Andy's p l e a s u r e s and p a i n s are d e t e r m i n e d by t h e c h o i c e s my w i f e a n d I m a k e . If b a d is stronger than good, then Andy s u f f e r s m o r e f r o m s e p a r a t i o n than he benefits from reunion. M o s t p e o p l e have many m o r e a t t a c h m e n t s than Andy; but, a c c o r d i n g to B u d d h i s m , h u m a n psychology is similar to Andy's in m a n y ways. B e c a u s e Rachel w a n t s to be r e s p e c t e d , s h e lives in c o n s t a n t vigilance for signs of disrespect, and s h e a c h e s for days after a p o s s i b l e violation. S h e m a y enjoy being treated with respect, but d i s r e s p e c t hurts m o r e on a v e r a g e than r e s p e c t feels good. C h a r l e s wants m o n e y a n d lives in a c o n s t a n t state of vigilance for c h a n c e s to m a k e it: He loses s l e e p over f i n e s , l o s s e s , or transactions that he thinks did not get him the best p o s s i b l e deal. O n c e again, l o s s e s loom larger than g a i n s , so e v e n if C h a r l e s g r o w s s t e a d i l y w e a l t h i e r , t h o u g h t s about money may on average give him m o r e u n h a p p i n e s s than h a p p i n e s s . For B u d d h a , a t t a c h m e n t s are like a g a m e of roulette in w h i c h s o m e o n e e l s e spins the wheel a n d the g a m e is rigged: T h e m o r e you play, the m o r e you lose. T h e only way to win is to s t e p away f r o m t h e table. And the only way to s t e p away, to m a k e yourself not react to the u p s a n d d o w n s of life, is to m e d i t a t e and t a m e the m i n d . Although you give up the p l e a s u r e s of winning, you also give up the larger p a i n s of losing. In c h a p t e r 5 I'll q u e s t i o n w h e t h e r this is really a g o o d t r a d e o f f for m o s t people. For now the important p o i n t is that B u d d h a m a d e a psychological discovery that he and his followers e m b e d d e d in a p h i l o s o p h y and a religion. T h e y have b e e n g e n e r o u s with it, t e a c h i n g it to p e o p l e of all faiths a n d of no faith. T h e discovery is that m e d i t a t i o n t a m e s a n d c a l m s the elephant. M e d i t a t i o n d o n e every day for several m o n t h s c a n help you r e d u c e s u b s t a n t i a l l y the f r e q u e n c y o f f e a r f u l , n e g a t i v e , a n d g r a s p i n g t h o u g h t s ,

Changing Your Mind 3 1 t h e r e b y i m p r o v i n g y o u r a f f e c t i v e style. A s B u d d h a s a i d : " W h e n a m a n knows the s o l i t u d e of s i l e n c e , a n d f e e l s the joy of q u i e t n e s s , he is t h e n f r e e from fear a n d s i n . " 3 5

Cognitive Therapy M e d i t a t i o n is a characteristically E a s t e r n solution to the p r o b l e m s of life. E v e n b e f o r e B u d d h a , the C h i n e s e p h i l o s o p h e r L a o T z u h a d said that t h e road t o w i s d o m r u n s t h r o u g h c a l m i n a c t i o n , d e s i r e l e s s waiting. W e s t e r n a p p r o a c h e s to p r o b l e m s m o r e typically involve pulling out a tool box a n d trying to fix what's broken. T h a t w a s L a d y Philosophy's a p p r o a c h with her m a n y a r g u m e n t s , a n d r e f r a m i n g t e c h n i q u e s . T h e toolbox w a s t h o r o u g h l y m o d e r n i z e d in the 1 9 6 0 s by Aaron B e c k . B e c k , a psychiatrist at the University of Pennsylvania, had b e e n t r a i n e d in the F r e u d i a n a p p r o a c h in which " t h e child is father to t h e m a n . " W h a t ever ails you is c a u s e d by events in your c h i l d h o o d , a n d the only way to c h a n g e yourself now is to dig through r e p r e s s e d m e m o r i e s , c o m e up with a d i a g n o s i s , a n d work through your unresolved c o n f l i c t s . For d e p r e s s e d p a tients, however, B e c k f o u n d little e v i d e n c e in the s c i e n t i f i c literature or in his own clinical p r a c t i c e that this a p p r o a c h w a s working. T h e m o r e s p a c e lie gave t h e m to run through their self-critical t h o u g h t s a n d m e m o r i e s of injustice, the w o r s e they felt. But in the late 1 9 6 0 s , w h e n B e c k b r o k e with s t a n d a r d p r a c t i c e a n d , like Lady Philosophy, q u e s t i o n e d t h e l e g i t i m a c y of his p a t i e n t s ' irrational and self-critical t h o u g h t s , the p a t i e n t s o f t e n s e e m e d lo feel better. B e c k took a c h a n c e . H e m a p p e d out t h e d i s t o r t e d t h o u g h t p r o c e s s e s c h a r a c t e r i s t i c o f d e p r e s s e d p e o p l e a n d trained his p a t i e n t s t o c a t c h a n d c h a l l e n g e t h e s e t h o u g h t s . B e c k w a s s c o r n e d b y his F r e u d i a n c o l l e a g u e s , who thought h e w a s treating the s y m p t o m s o f d e p r e s s i o n with B a n d - A i d s while letting the d i s e a s e rage u n d e r n e a t h , but his c o u r a g e a n d p e r s i s t e n c e paid off. H e c r e a t e d cognitive therapy, 3 6 o n e o f t h e m o s t e f f e c t i v e treatm e n t s available for d e p r e s s i o n , anxiety, a n d m a n y other p r o b l e m s . As I s u g g e s t e d in the last chapter, we o f t e n u s e r e a s o n i n g not to find t h e truth but to invent a r g u m e n t s to support our d e e p a n d intuitive b e l i e f s (residing in the e l e p h a n t ) . D e p r e s s e d p e o p l e are c o n v i n c e d in their h e a r t s of three related beliefs, known as Beck's "cognitive triad" of d e p r e s s i o n . T h e s e

38

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

are: "I'm no good," " M y world is bleak," and " M y future is h o p e l e s s . " A depressed person's mind is filled with a u t o m a t i c thoughts s u p p o r t i n g these dysfunctional beliefs, particularly when things goes wrong. T h e thought distortions were so similar across patients that B e c k gave them n a m e s . C o n sider the depressed father whose daughter falls down and bangs her head while he is w a t c h i n g her. He instantly flagellates h i m s e l f with t h e s e thoughts: "I'm a terrible father" (this is called "personalization," or seeing the event as a referendum on the self rather than as a minor medical issue); "Why do I always do such terrible things to my children?" ("overgeneralization" combined with dichotomous "always/never" thinking); " N o w she's going to have brain d a m a g e " ("magnification"); "Everyone will hate m e " ("arbitrary inference," or j u m p i n g to a conclusion without evidence). D e p r e s s e d p e o p l e are c a u g h t in a f e e d b a c k l o o p in w h i c h d i s t o r t e d t h o u g h t s c a u s e n e g a t i v e f e e l i n g s , w h i c h then distort t h i n k i n g further. Beck's discovery is that you can break the cycle by c h a n g i n g the thoughts. A big part of cognitive therapy is training clients to c a t c h their thoughts, write them down, n a m e the distortions, and then find alternative and more a c c u r a t e ways of thinking. Over many weeks, the client's thoughts b e c o m e more realistic, the f e e d b a c k loop is broken, and the client's anxiety or depression abates. Cognitive therapy works b e c a u s e it t e a c h e s the rider how to train the elephant rather than how to defeat it directly in an argument. On the first day of therapy, the rider d o e s n ' t realize that t h e e l e p h a n t is controlling him, that the e l e p h a n t ' s f e a r s are driving his c o n s c i o u s thoughts. Over time, the client learns to use a set of tools; t h e s e include challenging automatic thoughts and engaging in s i m p l e tasks, s u c h as going out to buy a n e w s p a p e r rather than-staying in b e d all day ruminating. T h e s e tasks are often assigned as homework, to be d o n e daily. (The elephant learns best from daily practice; a weekly m e e t i n g with a therapist is not e n o u g h . ) With e a c h r e f r a m i n g , a n d with e a c h s i m p l e t a s k a c c o m plished, the client receives a little reward, a little flash of relief or pleasure. And e a c h flash of pleasure is like a p e a n u t given to an elephant as reinforcement for a new behavior. You can't win a tug of war with an angry or fearful elephant, but you c a n — by gradual s h a p i n g of the sort the behaviorists talked a b o u t — c h a n g e your a u t o m a t i c thoughts a n d , in the p r o c e s s , your a f f e c t i v e style. In fact, many therapists c o m b i n e cognitive therapy

Changing Your Mind 3 1 with t e c h n i q u e s b o r r o w e d directly f r o m b e h a v i o r i s m t o c r e a t e w h a t i s n o w c a l l e d " c o g n i t i v e b e h a v i o r a l therapy." U n l i k e Freud, B e c k tested his theories in controlled e x p e r i m e n t s . P e o p l e w h o u n d e r w e n t c o g n i t i v e t h e r a p y for d e p r e s s i o n g o t m e a s u r a b l y b e t t e r ; they got b e t t e r f a s t e r t h a n p e o p l e w h o w e r e p u t o n a w a i t i n g list for t h e r a p y ; a n d , a t l e a s t i n s o m e s t u d i e s , they got b e t t e r f a s t e r t h a n t h o s e w h o r e c e i v e d o t h e r t h e r a p i e s . 3 7 W h e n c o g n i t i v e t h e r a p y i s d o n e very well i t i s a s e f f e c t i v e a s d r u g s s u c h a s P r o z a c for t h e t r e a t m e n t o f d e p r e s s i o n , 3 8 a n d its e n o r m o u s a d v a n t a g e over P r o z a c i s that w h e n c o g n i t i v e t h e r a p y s t o p s , t h e b e n e f i t s u s u a l l y c o n t i n u e b e c a u s e the e l e p h a n t h a s b e e n r e t r a i n e d . P r o z a c , in c o n t r a s t , w o r k s only for as l o n g as you t a k e it. 1 don't m e a n to s u g g e s t that c o g n i t i v e b e h a v i o r a l t h e r a p y is .the only p s y c h o t h e r a p y that w o r k s . M o s t f o r m s o f p s y c h o t h e r a p y work t o s o m e d e g r e e , a n d i n s o m e s t u d i e s they all s e e m t o w o r k e q u a l l y w e l l . 3 9 I t c o m e s d o w n t o a q u e s t i o n o f fit: S o m e p e o p l e r e s p o n d b e t t e r t o o n e t h e r a p y t h a n a n o t h e r , and s o m e psychological disorders are m o r e effectively treated by o n e therapy than another. If you have frequent a u t o m a t i c negative thoughts a b o u t y o u r s e l f , your w o r l d , o r y o u r f u t u r e , a n d i f t h e s e t h o u g h t s c o n t r i b u t e t o c h r o n i c f e e l i n g s of a n x i e t y or d e s p a i r , t h e n y o u m i g h t find a g o o d fit with c o g n i t i v e behavioral t h e r a p y . 4 0

Prozac M a r c e l P r o u s t w r o t e that " t h e only t r u e v o y a g e . . . w o u l d be not to visit s t r a n g e l a n d s b u t t o - p o s s e s s o t h e r e y e s . " 4 1 I n t h e s u m m e r o f 1 9 9 6 , I tried on a pair of n e w e y e s w h e n I took Paxil, a c o u s i n of P r o z a c , for eight w e e k s . For t h e f i r s t f e w w e e k s I h a d only s i d e e f f e c t s : s o m e n a u s e a , d i f f i c u l t y s l e e p i n g t h r o u g h t h e night, a n d a variety of p h y s i c a l s e n s a t i o n s t h a t I d i d not k n o w my b o d y c o u l d p r o d u c e , i n c l u d i n g a f e e l i n g I c a n d e s c r i b e only by s a y i n g that my b r a i n felt dry. B u t t h e n o n e d a y in w e e k five, t h e w o r l d c h a n g e d color. I w o k e u p o n e m o r n i n g a n d n o l o n g e r felt a n x i o u s a b o u t t h e heavy w o r k l o a d arid u n c e r t a i n p r o s p e c t s o f a n u n t e n u r e d p r o f e s s o r . I t w a s like m a g i c . A s e t of c h a n g e s I h a d w a n t e d to m a k e in m y s e l f f o r years—l o o s e n i n g up, l i g h t e n i n g u p , a c c e p t i n g m y m i s t a k e s w i t h o u t d w e l l i n g o n t h e m — h a p p e n e d o v e r n i g h t . H o w e v e r , Paxil h a d o n e d e v a s t a t i n g s i d e e f f e c t for m e : I t m a d e i t h a r d for m e t o recall f a c t s a n d n a m e s , e v e n t h o s e I k n e w

40

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

well. I would greet my s t u d e n t s and c o l l e a g u e s , r e a c h for a n a m e to put after " H i , " a n d he left with " H i . . . t h e r e . " I d e c i d e d that as a p r o f e s s o r I n e e d e d my m e m o r y m o r e than I n e e d e d p e a c e of m i n d , so I s t o p p e d taking Paxil. F i v e w e e k s later, m y m e m o r y c a m e b a c k , a l o n g with m y worries. W h a t r e m a i n e d w a s a firsthand e x p e r i e n c e of w e a r i n g rose-colored g l a s s e s , of s e e i n g the world with n e w eyes. Prozac was the first m e m b e r of a c l a s s of drugs known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or S S R I s . In what follows, I u s e Prozac to stand for the whole group, the psychological e f f e c t s of which are nearly identical, and which includes Paxil, Zoloft, C e l e x a , L e x a p r o , a n d others. M a n y things are not known a b o u t Prozac a n d its c o u s i n s — a b o v e all, how they work. T h e n a m e of the drug class tells part of the story: Prozac gets into the s y n a p s e s (the g a p s b e t w e e n neurons), but it is selective in a f f e c t i n g only s y n a p s e s that u s e serotonin as their neurotransmitter. O n c e in the s y n a p s e s , Prozac inhibits the reu-ptake p r o c e s s — t h e normal p r o c e s s in which a neuron that has j u s t released serotonin into the s y n a p s e then s u c k s it b a c k up into itself, to be released again at the next neural pulse. T h e net result is that a brain on Prozac has m o r e serotonin in certain s y n a p s e s , so t h o s e n e u r o n s fire m o r e often. So far Prozac s o u n d s like c o c a i n e , h e r o i n , or any other d r u g that you might have learned is a s s o c i a t e d with a s p e c i f i c neurotransmitter. B u t the increase in serotonin h a p p e n s within a d a y of taking Prozac, while the benefits don't a p p e a r for four to six w e e k s . S o m e h o w , the n e u r o n on the other s i d e of the s y n a p s e is a d a p t i n g to the n e w level of serotonin, a n d it is from that adaptation p r o c e s s that the b e n e f i t s probably e m e r g e . Or m a y b e neural a d a p t a t i o n h a s n o t h i n g to do with it. T h e other l e a d i n g theory a b o u t Prozac is that it raises the level of a neural growth h o r m o n e in the hipp o c a m p u s , a part of the brain crucial for l e a r n i n g a n d memory. P e o p l e w h o have a negative a f f e c t i v e style generally h a v e higher levels of s t r e s s horm o n e s in their b l o o d ; t h e s e h o r m o n e s , in turn, t e n d to kill o f f or p r u n e b a c k s o m e critical cells in the h i p p o c a m p u s , w h o s e j o b , in part, is to shut off the very stress r e s p o n s e that is killing t h e m . So p e o p l e w h o have a nega t i v e a f f e c t i v e style m a y o f t e n s u f f e r m i n o r n e u r a l d a m a g e t o t h e hipp o c a m p u s , b u t this c a n b e r e p a i r e d i n f o u r o r f i v e w e e k s a f t e r Prozac triggers the r e l e a s e o f the neural g r o w t h h o r m o n e . 4 2 A l t h o u g h w e don't

Changing Your Mind

3

1

k n o w how P r o z a c w o r k s , w e d o k n o w t h a t i t w o r k s : I t p r o d u c e s b e n e f i t s a b o v e p l a c e b o o r n o - t r e a t m e n t control g r o u p s o n a n a s t o n i s h i n g v a r i e t y o f m e n t a l m a l a d i e s , i n c l u d i n g d e p r e s s i o n , g e n e r a l i z e d anxiety d i s o r d e r , p a n i c a t t a c k s , social p h o b i a , p r e m e n s t r u a l d y s p h o r i c disorder, s o m e e a t i n g d i s o r ders, and obsessive compulsive disorder.43 P r o z a c is c o n t r o v e r s i a l for at l e a s t two r e a s o n s . First, it is a s h o r t c u t . In m o s t studies, Prozac turns out to be j u s t about as effective as cognitive t h e r a p y — s o m e t i m e s a little m o r e , s o m e t i m e s a little l e s s — b u t it's so m u c h easier t h a n therapy. N o daily h o m e w o r k o r d i f f i c u l t n e w skills; n o w e e k l y therapy a p p o i n t m e n t . If you believe in the Protestant work ethic a n d the maxim " N o pain, no gain," then you might be disturbed by Prozac. S e c o n d , P r o z a c d o e s m o r e t h a n j u s t relieve s y m p t o m s ; i t s o m e t i m e s c h a n g e s p e r sonality. In Listening to Prozac,44 Peter K r a m e r p r e s e n t s c a s e s t u d i e s of h i s p a t i e n t s w h o s e l o n g - s t a n d i n g d e p r e s s i o n o r anxiety w a s c u r e d b y P r o z a c , and whose personalities then bloomed—greater self-confidence, greater r e s i l i e n c e i n t h e f a c e o f s e t b a c k s , a n d m o r e joy, all o f w h i c h s o m e t i m e s l e d t o big c h a n g e s i n c a r e e r s a n d r e l a t i o n s h i p s . T h e s e c a s e s c o n f o r m t o a n i d e alized medical narrative: p e r s o n s u f f e r s from lifelong d i s e a s e ; m e d i c a l breakthrough cures disease; person released from shackles, celebrates new f r e e d o m ; closing shot of person playing joyously with children; f a d e to b l a c k . B u t K r a m e r a l s o tells f a s c i n a t i n g s t o r i e s a b o u t p e o p l e w h o w e r e n o t ill, w h o m e t n o d i a g n o s t i c c a t e g o r y for a m e n t a l d i s o r d e r , a n d w h o j u s t h a d t h e s o r t s o f n e u r o s e s a n d p e r s o n a l i t y q u i r k s that m o s t p e o p l e h a v e t o s o m e d e g r e e — f e a r of c r i t i c i s m , inability to be h a p p y w h e n not in a r e l a t i o n s h i p , t e n d e n c y t o b e t o o critical a n d o v e r c o n t r o l l i n g o f s p o u s e a n d c h i l d r e n . L i k e all p e r s o n a l i t y traits, t h e s e a r e h a r d t o c h a n g e , b u t they a r e w h a t t a l k thera p y i s d e s i g n e d t o a d d r e s s . T h e r a p y can't u s u a l l y c h a n g e p e r s o n a l i t y , b u t i t c a n t e a c h y o u w a y s o f w o r k i n g a r o u n d your p r o b l e m a t i c traits. Yet w h e n K r a m e r p r e s c r i b e d P r o z a c , t h e o f f e n d i n g traits w e n t away. L i f e l o n g h a b i t s , g o n e overnight (five w e e k s after starting Prozac), w h e r e a s years of psychotherapy often had d o n e nothing. T h i s is why Kramer coined the term " c o s m e t i c psychopharmacology," for Prozac s e e m e d to p r o m i s e that psychiatrists c o u l d s h a p e a n d p e r f e c t m i n d s j u s t a s p l a s t i c s u r g e o n s s h a p e a n d perfect bodies.

42

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

D o e s that s o u n d like progress, or like Pandora's box? B e f o r e you a n s w e r that, a n s w e r this: W h i c h of t h e s e two p h r a s e s rings truest to you: " B e all that you c a n b e " or " T h i s a b o v e all, to t h i n e own self be t r u e . " O u r culture e n d o r s e s b o t h — r e l e n t l e s s s e l f - i m p r o v e m e n t a s well a s a u t h e n t i c i t y — b u t w e o f t e n e s c a p e the contradiction b y f r a m i n g s e l f - i m p r o v e m e n t a s authenticity. J u s t as gaining an e d u c a t i o n m e a n s struggling for twelve to twenty years to d e v e l o p one's intellectual p o t e n t i a l , c h a r a c t e r d e v e l o p m e n t ought to involve a lifelong struggle to d e v e l o p one's moral potential. A nine-yearold child d o e s not stay true to herself by k e e p i n g the m i n d a n d c h a r a c t e r of a nine-year-old; s h e works hard to r e a c h her ideal self, p u s h e d a n d c h a u f feured by her p a r e n t s to e n d l e s s after-school a n d w e e k e n d c l a s s e s in piano, religion, art, a n d athletics. As long as c h a n g e is gradual a n d a result of the child's hard work, the child is given the moral credit for the c h a n g e , a n d that c h a n g e is in the service of authenticity. B u t what if there w e r e a pill that e n h a n c e d tennis skills? Or a m i n o r surgical t e c h n i q u e for implanting p i a n o virtuosity directly a n d p e r m a n e n t l y into the brain? S u c h a separation o f s e l f - i m p r o v e m e n t f r o m a u t h e n t i c i t y w o u l d m a k e m a n y p e o p l e recoil in horror. Horror f a s c i n a t e s m e , particularly w h e n there is no victim. I study moral reactions to h a r m l e s s t a b o o violations s u c h as c o n s e n s u a l i n c e s t and priv a t e f l a g d e s e c r a t i o n . T h e s e things j u s t feel w r o n g t o m o s t p e o p l e , even w h e n they can't explain why. (I'll explain why in c h a p t e r 9 . ) My research indicates that a small set of innate moral intuitions g u i d e a n d c o n s t r a i n the world's many moralities, a n d o n e of t h e s e intuitions is that the body is a t e m p l e h o u s i n g a soul within. 4 5 E v e n p e o p l e w h o do not c o n s c i o u s l y believe in G o d or the soul are o f f e n d e d by or feel u n c o m f o r t a b l e a b o u t s o m e o n e w h o treats her b o d y like a p l a y g r o u n d , its s o l e p u r p o s e to p r o v i d e p l e a s u r e . A shy w o m a n w h o g e t s a n o s e j o b , breast a u g m e n t a t i o n , twelve body piercings, a n d a prescription for e l e c t i v e Prozac would be as s h o c k i n g to m a n y p e o p l e as a minister w h o r e m o d e l s his c h u r c h to look like an Ottom a n harem. T h e transformation of the c h u r c h m i g h t hurt others by c a u s i n g several parishioners to die from apoplexy. It is hard, however, to f i n d h a r m in the self-transformer beyond s o m e v a g u e n o t i o n that s h e is "not b e i n g true to herself." But if this w o m a n had previously b e e n u n h a p p y with her hyper-

Changing Your Mind 3 1 s e n s i t i v e a n d overly i n h i b i t e d p e r s o n a l i t y , a n d i f s h e h a d m a d e little p r o g r e s s with psychotherapy, why exactly s h o u l d s h e be true to a s e l f s h e doesn't w a n t ? W h y not c h a n g e herself for the b e t t e r ? W h e n I took Paxil, it c h a n g e d my a f f e c t i v e style for the better. It m a d e me into s o m e t h i n g I w a s not, but h a d long w a n t e d to be: a p e r s o n w h o worries l e s s , a n d w h o s e e s the world as b e i n g full of possibilities, not threats. Paxil i m p r o v e d t h e bala n c e b e t w e e n m y a p p r o a c h a n d withdrawal s y s t e m s , a n d h a d there b e e n no side e f f e c t s , I w o u l d still be taking it today. I therefore q u e s t i o n the w i d e s p r e a d view that Prozac a n d o t h e r d r u g s in its c l a s s are o v e r p r e s c r i b e d . It's e a s y for t h o s e w h o did well in t h e c o r t i c a l lottery to p r e a c h a b o u t the i m p o r t a n c e of hard work a n d the u n n a t u r a l n e s s of c h e m i c a l s h o r t c u t s . But for t h o s e w h o , through no fault of their o w n , e n d e d up on the negative half of the a f f e c t i v e style s p e c t r u m , P r o z a c is a way to c o m p e n s a t e for the u n f a i r n e s s of the cortical lottery. F u r t h e r m o r e , it's e a s y for t h o s e w h o believe that the b o d y is a t e m p l e to say that c o s m e t i c p s y c h o p h a r m a c o l o g y is a kind of sacrilege. S o m e t h i n g is i n d e e d lost w h e n psychiatrists no longer listen to their p a t i e n t s as p e o p l e , but rather as a c a r m e c h a n i c w o u l d listen t o a n e n g i n e , looking only for c l u e s a b o u t w h i c h k n o b to a d j u s t next. B u t if the h i p p o c a m p a l theory of P r o z a c is c o r r e c t , m a n y p e o p l e really do n e e d a m e c h a n i c a l a d j u s t m e n t . It's as t h o u g h they had b e e n driving for years with the e m e r g e n c y b r e a k h a l f w a y e n g a g e d , a n d it might be worth a five-week e x p e r i m e n t to s e e what h a p p e n s to their lives w h e n the b r a k e is r e l e a s e d . F r a m e d in this way, Prozac for t h e " w o r r i e d well" is no longer j u s t c o s m e t i c . It is m o r e like giving c o n t a c t l e n s e s to a p e r s o n with poor but f u n c t i o n a l eyesight w h o h a s learned w a y s o f c o p i n g with her limitations. Far f r o m b e i n g a betrayal of that p e r s o n ' s " t r u e s e l f , " c o n t a c t l e n s e s c a n be a r e a s o n a b l e s h o r t c u t to p r o p e r f u n c t i o n i n g . T h e e p i g r a p h s that o p e n e d this c h a p t e r are true. L i f e i s w h a t w e d e e m it, a n d our lives are the creations of our m i n d s . B u t t h e s e c l a i m s a r e not h e l p f u l until a u g m e n t e d by a theory of t h e divided self ( s u c h as the rider a n d the e l e p h a n t ) a n d a n u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f negativity bias a n d a f f e c t i v e style. O n c e you know why c h a n g e i s s o hard, you c a n d r o p the b r u t e f o r c e m e t h o d a n d take a m o r e p s y c h o l o g i c a l l y s o p h i s t i c a t e d a p p r o a c h to s e l f i m p r o v e m e n t . B u d d h a got. it exactly right: You n e e d a m e t h o d for t a m i n g

44

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

the e l e p h a n t , for c h a n g i n g your mind g r a d u a l l y M e d i t a t i o n , c o g n i t i v e therapy, and Prozac are three e f f e c t i v e m e a n s of d o i n g so. B e c a u s e e a c h will be e f f e c t i v e for s o m e p e o p l e and not for o t h e r s , I believe that all three should be readily available a n d widely p u b l i c i z e d . L i f e itself is but w h a t you d e e m it, a n d you c a n — t h r o u g h m e d i t a t i o n , c o g n i t i v e therapy, a n d P r o z a c — r e d e e m yourself.

Reciprocity

with

a

Vengeance

Zigong asked: "Is there any single word that could guide one's entire life?" The master said: "Should it not he reciprocity? What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others." — A N A L E C T S \

OF

C O N F U C I U S '

That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow; this, in a few words, is the entire Torah; all the rest is but an elaboration of this one, central point. — RABBI

H I L L E L ,

IST

C E N T ,

B C E

2

a s i n g l e word or p r i n c i p l e to e l e v a t e a b o v e all o t h e r s , t h e w i n n e r is a l m o s t a l w a y s e i t h e r " l o v e " or " r e c i p r o c i t y . " C h a p t e r 6 will cover love; this c h a p t e r is a b o u t reciprocity. B o t h a r e , ultimately, a b o u t t h e s a m e thing: t h e b o n d s that tie u s t o o n e another. T h e o p e n i n g s c e n e of the m o v i e l"he Godfather is an e x q u i s i t e p o r t r a y a l of reciprocity in a c t i o n . It is the w e d d i n g day of t h e d a u g h t e r of t h e G o d father, D o n C o r l e o n e . T h e Italian i m m i g r a n t B o n a s e r a , a n u n d e r t a k e r , h a s c o m e t o a s k for a favor: H e w a n t s t o a v e n g e a n a s s a u l t u p o n the h o n o r a n d b o d y o f his o w n d a u g h t e r , w h o w a s b e a t e n h y her b o y f r i e n d a n d a n o t h e r y o u n g m a n . B o n a s e r a d e s c r i b e s t h e a s s a u l t , t h e arrest, a n d the trial o f t h e t w o boys. T h e j u d g e g a v e t h e m a s u s p e n d e d s e n t e n c e a n d let t h e m g o f r e e W H E N T H E SAGES PICK

45

46

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

that very day. B o n a s e r a i s f u r i o u s a n d f e e l s h u m i l i a t e d ; h e h a s c o m e t o D o n C o r l e o n e t o a s k that j u s t i c e b e d o n e . C o r l e o n e a s k s w h a t e x a c t l y h e w a n t s . B o n a s e r a w h i s p e r s s o m e t h i n g into h i s ear, w h i c h w e c a n s a f e l y a s s u m e i s "Kill t h e m . " C o r l e o n e r e f u s e s , a n d p o i n t s o u t that B o n a s e r a h a s not b e e n m u c h of a f r i e n d until now. B o n a s e r a a d m i t s he w a s a f r a i d of g e t t i n g into "trouble." T h e dialogue continues:3 C O R L E O N E : I understand. You f o u n d p a r a d i s e in A m e r i c a , you had a good trade, m a d e a good living. T h e police protected you a n d there were courts of law. And you didn't n e e d a friend like m e . But now you c o m e to me and you say, " D o n C o r l e o n e give me j u s t i c e . " But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call m e " G o d f a t h e r . " I n s t e a d , you c o m e into m y h o u s e o n t h e day m y daughter is to be married, and you a s k me to do murder, for money. B O N A S E R A : I ask you for j u s t i c e . C O R L E O N E : T h a t i s not j u s t i c e ; your d a u g h t e r i s still alive. B O N A S E R A : Let t h e m s u f f e r then, a s s h e suffers. [Pause]. H o w m u c h shall I pay you? C O R L E O N E : B o n a s e r a . . . B o n a s e r a . . . W h a t have I ever d o n e to m a k e you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd c o m e to me in friendship, then this s c u m that ruined your d a u g h t e r would be s u f f e r i n g this very day. A n d if by c h a n c e an h o n e s t m a n like yourself s h o u l d m a k e e n e m i e s , then they would b e c o m e my e n e m i e s . A n d t h e n they would fear you. B O N A S E R A : Be my friend—[He bows to Corleone]—Godfather? [He kisses Corleone's hand], C O R L E O N E : G o o d . [Pause.] S o m e day, and that day m a y never c o m e , I'll call u p o n you to do a service for m e . But until that d a y — a c c e p t this j u s t i c e as a gift on my daughter's w e d d i n g day. T h e s c e n e i s extraordinary, a k i n d o f o v e r t u r e that i n t r o d u c e s t h e t h e m e s o f v i o l e n c e , k i n s h i p , a n d morality that drive t h e rest o f t h e m o v i e . B u t j u s t as extraordinary to me is how e a s y it is for us to u n d e r s t a n d this c o m p l e x interaction i n a n alien s u b c u l t u r e . W e intuitively u n d e r s t a n d w h y B o n a s e r a w a n t s the b o y s killed, a n d w h y C o r l e o n e r e f u s e s t o d o it. W e w i n c e a t

Reciprocity with a Vengeance

47

B o n a s e r a ' s c l u m s y a t t e m p t t o o f f e r m o n e y w h e n w h a t i s l a c k i n g i s t h e right r e l a t i o n s h i p , a n d w e u n d e r s t a n d why B o n a s e r a h a d b e e n wary, b e f o r e , o f c u l t i v a t i n g t h e right r e l a t i o n s h i p . We u n d e r s t a n d that in a c c e p t i n g a " g i f t " f r o m a m a f i a d o n , a c h a i n , n o t j u s t a string, is a t t a c h e d . We u n d e r s t a n d all o f this e f f o r t l e s s l y b e c a u s e w e s e e t h e w o r l d t h r o u g h t h e l e n s o f r e c i procity. R e c i p r o c i t y is a d e e p i n s t i n c t ; it is t h e b a s i c c u r r e n c y of s o c i a l life. B o n a s e r a u s e s it to b u y r e v e n g e , w h i c h is itself a f o r m of reciprocity. C o r l e o n e u s e s i t t o m a n i p u l a t e B o n a s e r a into j o i n i n g C o r l e o n e ' s e x t e n d e d f a m ily. I n t h e rest o f this c h a p t e r I'll explain h o w w e c a m e t o a d o p t r e c i p r o c i t y a s o u r s o c i a l currency, a n d h o w you c a n s p e n d i t wisely.

U

L T R A S O C I A L I T Y

A n i m a l s t h a t fly s e e m t o v i o l a t e t h e l a w s o f p h y s i c s , b u t o n l y u n t i l y o u learn a bit m o r e a b o u t p h y s i c s . Flight e v o l v e d i n d e p e n d e n t l y a t l e a s t t h r e e times in the animal kingdom: in insects, dinosaurs (including m o d e r n b i r d s ) , a n d m a m m a l s ( b a t s ) . I n e a c h c a s e , a p h y s i c a l f e a t u r e that h a d p o tentially a e r o d y n a m i c p r o p e r t i e s w a s a l r e a d y p r e s e n t (for e x a m p l e , s c a l e s that l e n g t h e n e d into f e a t h e r s , w h i c h later m a d e g l i d i n g p o s s i b l e ) . A n i m a l s that live i n large p e a c e f u l s o c i e t i e s s e e m t o violate t h e l a w s o f e v o l u t i o n ( s u c h a s c o m p e t i t i o n a n d survival o f t h e f i t t e s t ) , b u t o n l y until you learn a bit m o r e a b o u t evolution. U l t r a s o c i a l i t y 4 — l i v i n g in large c o o p e r ative s o c i e t i e s i n w h i c h h u n d r e d s o r t h o u s a n d s o f i n d i v i d u a l s r e a p t h e b e n e f i t s o f a n e x t e n s i v e division o f l a b o r — e v o l v e d i n d e p e n d e n t l y a t l e a s t f o u r t i m e s i n t h e a n i m a l k i n g d o m : a m o n g h y m e n o p t e r a (ants, b e e s , a n d w a s p s ) ; t e r m i t e s ; n a k e d m o l e rats; a n d h u m a n s . I n e a c h c a s e , a f e a t u r e p o s s e s s i n g p o t e n t i a l l y c o o p e r a t i o n - e n h a n c i n g p r o p e r t i e s a l r e a d y e x i s t e d . F o r all t h e n o n h u m a n ultrasoeial s p e c i e s , that f e a t u r e w a s t h e g e n e t i c s o f kin a l t r u i s m . It's o b v i o u s that a n i m a l s will risk their lives for t h e s a f e t y of their o w n child r e n : T h e only w a y t o " w i n " a t t h e g a m e o f e v o l u t i o n i s t o l e a v e s u r v i v i n g c o p i e s o f your g e n e s . Yet not j u s t your c h i l d r e n carry c o p i e s o f y o u r g e n e s . Your s i b l i n g s a r e j u s t a s c l o s e l y r e l a t e d t o y o u ( 5 0 p e r c e n t s h a r e d g e n e s ) a s your c h i l d r e n ; y o u r n e p h e w s a n d n i e c e s s h a r e a q u a r t e r o f your g e n e s , a n d your c o u s i n s o n e e i g h t h . In a strictly D a r w i n i a n c a l c u l a t i o n , w h a t e v e r c o s t

48

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

you would bear to save o n e of your children you s h o u l d be willing to pay to save two nieces or four c o u s i n s . 5 B e c a u s e nearly all a n i m a l s that live in c o o p e r a t i v e g r o u p s live in groups of c l o s e relatives, m o s t altruism in the a n i m a l k i n g d o m reflects t h e s i m p l e axiom that shared g e n e s e q u a l s s h a r e d i n t e r e s t s . B u t b e c a u s e the sharing drops off so quickly with e a c h fork in the f a m i l y tree ( s e c o n d c o u s i n s s h a r e only o n e t h i r t y - s e c o n d o f their g e n e s ) , kin a l t r u i s m e x p l a i n s only h o w groups of a few dozen, or p e r h a p s a h u n d r e d , a n i m a l s c a n work together. O u t of a flock of t h o u s a n d s , only a small p e r c e n t a g e w o u l d be c l o s e e n o u g h to be worth taking risks for. T h e rest w o u l d be c o m p e t i t o r s , in the Darwinian s e n s e . Here's where the a n c e s t o r s of b e e s , t e r m i t e s , and m o l e rats took the c o m m o n m e c h a n i s m o f kin altruism, w h i c h m a k e s m a n y s p e c i e s sociable, and parlayed it 6 into the f o u n d a t i o n of their u n c o m m o n ultrasociality: T h e y are all siblings. T h o s e s p e c i e s e a c h evolved a r e p r o d u c t i o n s y s t e m in which a single q u e e n p r o d u c e s all the c h i l d r e n , a n d nearly all the children are either sterile (ants) or e l s e their r e p r o d u c t i v e abilities are s u p p r e s s e d ( b e e s , m o l e rats); therefore, a hive, n e s t , or c o l o n y of t h e s e a n i m a l s is o n e big family. If everyone around you is your sibling, a n d if the survival of your g e n e s d e p e n d s o n the survival o f your q u e e n , s e l f i s h n e s s b e c o m e s genetic s u i c i d e . T h e s e ultrasocial s p e c i e s d i s p l a y l e v e l s o f c o o p e r a t i o n a n d selfsacrifice that still astonish a n d inspire t h o s e w h o s t u d y t h e m . S o m e ants, for e x a m p l e , s p e n d their lives h a n g i n g f r o m the top of a t u n n e l , o f f e r i n g their a b d o m e n s for u s e as food storage b a g s by the rest of the n e s t . 7 T h e ultrasocial a n i m a l s evolved into a s t a t e of ultrakinship, which led automatically to ultracooperation (as in b u i l d i n g a n d d e f e n d i n g a large nest or hive), which allowed the m a s s i v e division of labor (ants h a v e c a s t e s s u c h as soldier, forager, nursery worker, and f o o d s t o r a g e b a g ) , w h i c h c r e a t e d hives overflowing with milk and honey, or w h a t e v e r other s u b s t a n c e they u s e to store their s u r p l u s food. We h u m a n s a l s o try to e x t e n d the reach of kin a l t r u i s m by u s i n g fictitious k i n s h i p n a m e s for n o n r e l a t i v e s , as w h e n children are e n c o u r a g e d to call their p a r e n t s ' f r i e n d s U n c l e B o b a n d A u n t S a r a h . I n d e e d , the m a f i a is known as " t h e family," and the very i d e a of a g o d f a t h e r is an a t t e m p t to forge a kin-like link with a m a n w h o is not true kin. T h e h u m a n m i n d f i n d s k i n s h i p d e e p l y a p p e a l i n g , a n d kin a l t r u i s m surely underlies the cultural ubiquity of n e p o t i s m . B u t even in the m a f i a ,

Reciprocity with a Vengeance 4 7 kin a l t r u i s m c a n t a k e y o u only s o far. A t s o m e p o i n t y o u h a v e t o w o r k w i t h people who are at best distant relations, and to do so you'd better h a v e ano t h e r trick up your s l e e v e .

Y o u

S C R A T C H

I'LL

M Y

S C R A T C H

B A C K ,

Y O U R S

W h a t w o u l d you d o i f y o u r e c e i v e d a C h r i s t m a s c a r d f r o m a c o m p l e t e s t r a n g e r ? T h i s a c t u a l l y h a p p e n e d in a s t u d y in w h i c h a p s y c h o l o g i s t s e n t C h r i s t m a s c a r d s t o p e o p l e a t r a n d o m . T h e great m a j o r i t y s e n t h i m a c a r d i n r e t u r n . 8 In his i n s i g h t f u l b o o k Influence,9 R o b e r t C i a l d i n j of A r i z o n a S t a t e University cites this a n d other s t u d i e s as e v i d e n c e that p e o p l e h a v e a m i n d l e s s , a u t o m a t i c r e c i p r o c i t y reflex. L i k e o t h e r a n i m a l s , w e will p e r f o r m c e r t a i n b e h a v i o r s w h e n t h e world p r e s e n t s u s with c e r t a i n p a t t e r n s o f inp u t . A b a b y herring gull, s e e i n g a red s p o t on its m o t h e r ' s b e a k , p e c k s at it a u t o m a t i c a l l y , a n d o u t c o m e s r e g u r g i t a t e d f o o d . T h e b a b y gull will p e c k j u s t as vigorously at a r e d s p o t p a i n t e d on t h e e n d of a p e n c i l . A c a t s t a l k s a m o u s e using the s a m e low-down, wiggle-close-then-pounce t e c h n i q u e u s e d b y c a t s a r o u n d t h e world. T h e c a t u s e s t h e s a m e t e c h n i q u e t o a t t a c k a s t r i n g trailing a ball o f yarn b e c a u s e t h e s t r i n g a c c i d e n t a l l y a c t i v a t e s t h e cat's m o u s e - t a i l - d e t e c t o r m o d u l e . C i a l d i n i s e e s h u m a n r e c i p r o c i t y a s a s i m ilar e t h o l o g i c a l reflex: a p e r s o n r e c e i v e s a favor f r o m an a c q u a i n t a n c e a n d w a n t s t o r e p a y t h e favor. T h e p e r s o n will e v e n r e p a y a n e m p t y favor f r o m a stranger, s u c h a s t h e r e c e i p t o f a w o r t h l e s s C h r i s t m a s c a r d . T h e a n i m a l a n d h u m a n e x a m p l e s a r e not e x a c t l y p a r a l l e l , h o w e v e r . T h e g u l l s a n d c a t s are r e s p o n d i n g t o v i s u a l s t i m u l i w i t h s p e c i f i c bodily m o v e m e n t s , e x e c u t e d i m m e d i a t e l y . T h e p e r s o n i s r e s p o n d i n g t o t h e meaning o f a s i t u a t i o n with a m o t i v a t i o n that c a n be s a t i s f i e d by a v a r i e t y of b o d i l y m o v e m e n t s e x e c u t e d d a y s later. So w h a t is really built into t h e p e r s o n is a strategy: Play tit for tat. Do to o t h e r s w h a t they do u n t o y o u . S p e c i f i c a l l y , t h e tit-for-tat strategy i s t o b e n i c e o n t h e first r o u n d o f i n t e r a c t i o n ; b u t a f ter that, d o t o your p a r t n e r w h a t e v e r y o u r p a r t n e r d i d t o y o u o n t h e p r e v i o u s r o u n d . 1 0 Tit for tat t a k e s u s w a y b e y o n d kin a l t r u i s m . I t o p e n s t h e possibility of forming cooperative relationships with strangers.

50

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

M o s t interactions a m o n g a n i m a l s ( o t h e r t h a n c l o s e kin) a r e z e r o - s u m g a m e s : O n e animal's gain is the other's l o s s . B u t life is full of situations in which cooperation would e x p a n d the pie to be s h a r e d if only a way c o u l d be f o u n d to c o o p e r a t e without b e i n g e x p l o i t e d . A n i m a l s that h u n t are particularly vulnerable to the variability of s u c c e s s : T h e y m a y find far m o r e food than they c a n eat in o n e day, a n d t h e n find no food at all for three w e e k s . A n i m a l s that c a n trade their s u r p l u s on a day of plenty for a loan on a day of n e e d are m u c h m o r e likely to survive the vagaries of c h a n c e . Vampire bats, for e x a m p l e , will r e g u r g i t a t e b l o o d f r o m a s u c c e s s f u l night of b l o o d s u c k i n g into the m o u t h of an u n s u c c e s s f u l a n d genetically unrelated peer. S u c h behavior s e e m s to violate t h e spirit of D a r w i n i a n c o m p e t i t i o n , except that the bats k e e p track of w h o h a s h e l p e d t h e m in the p a s t , and in return they share primarily with those b a t s . 1 1 L i k e the G o d f a t h e r , bats play tit for tat, and so do other social a n i m a l s , particularly t h o s e that live in relatively small, stable g r o u p s where individuals c a n recognize e a c h other as individuals. 1 2 But if the r e s p o n s e to n o n c o o p e r a t i o n is j u s t n o n c o o p e r a t i o n on the next round, then tit for tat c a n unite g r o u p s of only a f e w h u n d r e d . In a large e n o u g h group, a c h e a t i n g v a m p i r e bat c a n b e g a m e a l from a d i f f e r e n t s u c c e s s f u l bat e a c h night a n d , w h e n they c o m e to him p l e a d i n g for a return favor, just wrap his wings around his h e a d and p r e t e n d to be a s l e e p . W h a t are they going to do to h i m ? Well, if t h e s e w e r e p e o p l e rather t h a n b a t s , we know what they'd do: They'd b e a t the hell out of him. V e n g e a n c e a n d gratitude are moral s e n t i m e n t s that a m p l i f y a n d e n f o r c e tit' for tat. Vengeful a n d grateful f e e l i n g s a p p e a r t o h a v e e v o l v e d p r e c i s e l y b e c a u s e they a r e s u c h u s e f u l tools for helping individuals c r e a t e c o o p e r a t i v e relationships, thereby reaping the g a i n s from n o n - z e r o - s u m g a m e s . 1 3 A s p e c i e s e q u i p p e d with v e n g e a n c e a n d gratitude r e s p o n s e s c a n s u p p o r t larger a n d m o r e cooperative social g r o u p s b e c a u s e the p a y o f f to c h e a t e r s is r e d u c e d by the c o s t s they bear in m a k i n g e n e m i e s . 1 4 Conversely, t h e b e n e f i t s of generosity are increased b e c a u s e o n e gains friends. Tit for tat a p p e a r s to be built into h u m a n n a t u r e as a set of moral emotions that m a k e us want to return favor for favor, insult for insult, tooth for tooth, a n d eye for eye. Several recent t h e o r i s t s 1 5 even talk a b o u t an "ex-

Reciprocity with a

Vengeance

4

7

c h a n g e organ" in the h u m a n brain, as though a part of the brain w e r e devoted to keeping track of fairness, debts owed, a n d social a c c o u n t s receivable. T h e "organ" is a m e t a p h o r — n o b o d y expects to find an isolated b l o b o f b r a i n t i s s u e t h e only f u n c t i o n o f w h i c h i s t o e n f o r c e r e c i p r o c i t y . H o w e v e r , r e c e n t e v i d e n c e s u g g e s t s that t h e r e really c o u l d b e a n e x c h a n g e o r g a n i n t h e brain i f w e l o o s e n t h e m e a n i n g o f " o r g a n " a n d allow t h a t f u n c tional s y s t e m s i n t h e brain a r e o f t e n c o m p o s e d o f w i d e l y s e p a r a t e d b i t s o f n e u r a l t i s s u e that w o r k t o g e t h e r t o d o a s p e c i f i c j o b . S u p p o s e y o u w e r e invited t o play t h e " u l t i m a t u m " g a m e , w h i c h e c o n o mists invented16 to study the tension b e t w e e n fairness and greed. It g o e s like this: T w o p e o p l e c o m e t o t h e l a b b u t n e v e r m e e t . T h e e x p e r i m e n t e r g i v e s o n e o f t h e m — l e t ' s s u p p o s e it's not y o u — t w e n t y o n e - d o l l a r b i l l s a n d a s k s h e r t o d i v i d e t h e m b e t w e e n t h e two o f y o u i n a n y w a y s h e l i k e s . S h e t h e n gives y o u a n u l t i m a t u m : T a k e i t o r l e a v e it. T h e c a t c h i s t h a t i f y o u l e a v e it, if y o u say n o , y o u both g e t n o t h i n g . If y o u w e r e b o t h p e r f e c t l y rational, a s m o s t e c o n o m i s t s w o u l d p r e d i c t , y o u r p a r t n e r w o u l d o f f e r y o u o n e dollar, k n o w i n g that y o u ' d p r e f e r o n e dollar t o n o d o l l a r s , a n d y o u ' d a c c e p t her offer, b e c a u s e s h e w a s right a b o u t y o u . B u t t h e e c o n o m i s t s w e r e w r o n g a b o u t y o u b o t h . I n real life, n o b o d y o f f e r s o n e dollar, a n d a r o u n d h a l f o f all p e o p l e offer ten dollars. But what would you do if your partner o f f e r e d you seven dollars? Or five? Or three? M o s t p e o p l e would a c c e p t the seven dollars, but not t h e three. M o s t p e o p l e a r e willing t o p a y a f e w d o l l a r s , b u t n o t s e v e n , t o p u n i s h the s e l f i s h partner. N o w s u p p o s e y o u p l a y e d this g a m e w h i l e i n s i d e a n f M R I s c a n n e r . A l a n S a n f e y 1 7 a n d his c o l l e a g u e s a t P r i n c e t o n h a d p e o p l e d o j u s t t h a t ; t h e res e a r c h e r s t h e n l o o k e d a t what p a r t s o f t h e brain w e r e m o r e a c t i v e w h e n p e o p l e w e r e given u n f a i r o f f e r s . O n e o f t h e t h r e e a r e a s t h a t d i f f e r e d m o s t ( w h e n c o m p a r i n g r e s p o n s e s t o u n f a i r vs. fair o f f e r s ) w a s t h e frontal i n s u l a , a n a r e a o f t h e c o r t e x o n t h e frontal u n d e r s i d e o f the brain. T h e f r o n t a l insula is known to be active during most negative or unpleasant e m o t i o n a l s t a t e s , particularly a n g e r a n d d i s g u s t . A n o t h e r a r e a w a s t h e d o r s o l a t e r a l p r e frontal c o r t e x , j u s t b e h i n d t h e s i d e s o f t h e f o r e h e a d , k n o w n t o b e a c t i v e during reasoning and calculation. Perhaps the most impressive finding f r o m S a n f e y ' s s t u d y i s that p e o p l e ' s u l t i m a t e r e s p o n s e — a c c e p t o r r e j e c t — c o u l d

52

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

be predicted by looking at the state of their brains m o m e n t s b e f o r e they p r e s s e d a button to m a k e a choice. T h o s e s u b j e c t s w h o s h o w e d m o r e activation in the insula than in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex generally w e n t on to reject the unfair offer; those with t h e reverse p a t t e r n generally acc e p t e d it. (It's no wonder that marketers, political c o n s u l t a n t s , a n d the C I A are so interested in neural imaging and " n e u r o m a r k e t i n g . " ) G r a t i t u d e a n d v e n g e f u l n e s s are big s t e p s on the road that led to h u m a n ultrasociality, and it's important to realize that they are two s i d e s of o n e coin. It would be hard to evolve one without the other. An individual w h o had gratitude without vengefulness would be an e a s y m a r k for exploitation, a n d a vengeful a n d ungrateful individual would quickly a l i e n a t e all potential cooperative partners. Gratitude a n d r e v e n g e a r e also, not e o i n c i d e n tally, major f o r c e s holding together the m a f i a . T h e G o d f a t h e r sits at the c e n t e r of a vast w e b of reciprocal obligations a n d favors. He a c c u m u l a t e s power with e a c h favor he does, secure in the k n o w l e d g e that n o b o d y w h o values his own life will fail to repay at a t i m e of the G o d f a t h e r ' s c h o o s i n g . R e v e n g e for m o s t of us is m u c h less drastic, b u t if you have w o r k e d long e n o u g h in an office, restaurant, or store, you know there a r e m a n y s u b t l e ways to retaliate against those who have c r o s s e d you, a n d m a n y w a y s to help those w h o have helped you.

Y o u

STAB

H I S

BACK,

I'LL

STAB

Y O U R S

W h e n I said that p e o p l e would beat the hell out of an ingrate w h o failed to repay an important favor, I left out a qualification. For a first o f f e n s e , they'd p r o b a b l y j u s t g o s s i p . T h e y ' d ruin his r e p u t a t i o n . G o s s i p i s a n o t h e r key p i e c e in the puzzle of how humans b e c a m e ultrasocial. It might a l s o be the reason we have s u c h large h e a d s . Woody Allen o n c e d e s c r i b e d his brain as his " s e c o n d favorite organ," b u t for all of us it's by far the most expensive o n e to run. It a c c o u n t s for 2 perc e n t of our body weight but consumes 20 p e r c e n t of our energy. H u m a n brains grow so large that h u m a n beings m u s t be born p r e m a t u r e l y 1 8 (at least, c o m p a r e d to other mammals, w h o are born w h e n their b r a i n s a r e m o r e or less ready to control their bodies), a n d even then they c a n barely

Reciprocity with a Vengeance 4 7 m a k e i t t h r o u g h t h e hirth c a n a l . O n c e o u t o f t h e w o m b , t h e s e g i a n t b r a i n s a t t a c h e d t o h e l p l e s s b a b y b o d i e s r e q u i r e s o m e b o d y t o carry t h e m a r o u n d f o r a year o r two. T h e tripling o f h u m a n brain size f r o m t h e t i m e o f o u r l a s t c o m m o n a n c e s t o r with c h i m p a n z e e s t o t o d a y i m p o s e d t r e m e n d o u s c o s t s o n p a r e n t s , s o t h e r e m u s t h a v e b e e n a very g o o d r e a s o n t o d o it. S o m e h a v e a r g u e d that t h e r e a s o n w a s h u n t i n g a n d tool m a k i n g , o t h e r s s u g g e s t t h a t t h e extra gray m a t t e r h e l p e d our a n c e s t o r s l o c a t e fruit. B u t t h e only t h e o r y that e x p l a i n s w h y a n i m a l s i n g e n e r a l h a v e p a r t i c u l a r brain s i z e s i s t h e o n e that m a p s brain size o n t o social g r o u p size. R o b i n D u n b a r 1 9 h a s d e m o n s t r a t e d that within a g i v e n g r o u p of v e r t e b r a t e s p e c i e s — p r i m a t e s , c a r n i vores, ungulates, birds, reptiles, or f i s h — t h e logarithm of the brain size is almost perfectly proportional to the logarithm of the social g r o u p size. In o t h e r w o r d s , all over t h e a n i m a l k i n g d o m , b r a i n s grow t o m a n a g e l a r g e r a n d larger g r o u p s . S o c i a l a n i m a l s are s m a r t a n i m a l s . D u n b a r p o i n t s o u t that c h i m p a n z e e s live i n g r o u p s o f a r o u n d thirty, a n d like all s o c i a l p r i m a t e s , they s p e n d e n o r m o u s a m o u n t s o f t i m e g r o o m i n g e a c h other. H u m a n b e i n g s o u g h t t o live i n g r o u p s o f a r o u n d 1 5 0 p e o p l e , j u d g i n g f r o m t h e l o g a r i t h m o f o u r brain s i z e ; a n d s u r e e n o u g h , s t u d i e s o f h u n t e r - g a t h e r e r g r o u p s , military u n i t s , a n d c i t y d w e l l e r s ' a d d r e s s b o o k s s u g g e s t that 1 0 0 t o 1 5 0 i s t h e " n a t u r a l " g r o u p size within w h i c h p e o p l e c a n k n o w j u s t a b o u t e v e r y o n e directly, b y n a m e a n d f a c e , a n d k n o w h o w e a c h person is related to everybody else. But if grooming is so central to p r i m a t e sociality, a n d i f o u r a n c e s t o r s b e g a n living i n larger a n d larger g r o u p s ( f o r s o m e other reason, such as to take advantage of a new ecological n i c h e with high p r e d a t i o n r i s k s ) , a t s o m e p o i n t g r o o m i n g b e c a m e a n i n a d e q u a t e m e a n s of keeping up one's relationships. D u n b a r s u g g e s t s that l a n g u a g e evolved as a r e p l a c e m e n t for p h y s i c a l grooming.20 L a n g u a g e allows small groups of p e o p l e to bond quickly a n d to learn f r o m e a c h o t h e r a b o u t t h e b o n d s o f o t h e r s . D u n b a r n o t e s that p e o p l e d o i n f a c t u s e l a n g u a g e primarily t o talk a b o u t o t h e r p e o p l e — t o f i n d o u t w h o i s d o i n g w h a t t o w h o m , w h o i s c o u p l i n g with w h o m , w h o i s f i g h t i n g with w h o m . A n d D u n b a r p o i n t s o u t that i n o u r ultrasocial s p e c i e s , s u c c e s s is largely a m a t t e r of p l a y i n g t h e social g a m e well. It's not what y o u k n o w , it's w h o y o u know. I n short, D u n b a r p r o p o s e s that l a n g u a g e e v o l v e d b e c a u s e i t enabled gossip. Individuals who could share social information, u s i n g any

54

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

primitive m e a n s of c o m m u n i c a t i o n , had an a d v a n t a g e over t h o s e w h o could not. And o n c e p e o p l e hegan gossiping, there w a s a runaway c o m p e t i t i o n to master the arts of social m a n i p u l a t i o n , relationship aggression, a n d reputation m a n a g e m e n t , all of which require yet m o r e brain power. N o b o d y knows how l a n g u a g e evolved, but I find D u n b a r ' s s p e c u l a t i o n so fascinating that I love to tell p e o p l e a b o u t it. It's not g o o d gossip)—after all, you don't know Dunbar—-but if you are like me you have an urge to tell your friends a b o u t anything you learn that a m a z e s or f a s c i n a t e s you, and this urge itself illustrates D u n b a r ' s p o i n t : We are motivated to p a s s on information to our f r i e n d s ; we even s o m e t i m e s say, "I can't k e e p it in, I have to tell somebody." And w h e n you do p a s s on a p i e c e of juicy g o s s i p , what happ e n s ? Your friend's reciprocity reflex kicks in a n d s h e feels a slight p r e s s u r e to return the favor. If s h e knows s o m e t h i n g a b o u t the p e r s o n or event in q u e s t i o n , s h e is likely to s p e a k up: " O h really? Well, I h e a r d that he . . ." G o s s i p elicits g o s s i p , a n d it e n a b l e s us to k e e p track of everyone's reputation without having to w i t n e s s their g o o d a n d bad d e e d s personally. G o s s i p c r e a t e s a non-zero-sum g a m e b e c a u s e it c o s t s us nothing to give e a c h other information, yet we both b e n e f i t by r e c e i v i n g information. B e c a u s e I'm particularly i n t e r e s t e d in t h e role of g o s s i p in o u r moral lives, I w a s p l e a s e d w h e n a g r a d u a t e s t u d e n t in my d e p a r t m e n t , Holly Horn, told me that s h e w a n t e d to s t u d y g o s s i p . In o n e of Holly's studies,? 1 we a s k e d fifty-one p e o p l e to fill out a short q u e s t i o n n a i r e e a c h t i m e over the c o u r s e of a w e e k that they took part in a conversation that went on for at least ten m i n u t e s . We then took only the records in w h i c h the topic of conversation w a s another p e r s o n , w h i c h g a v e u s a b o u t o n e e p i s o d e o f potential gossip per day per p e r s o n . A m o n g our m a i n findings: G o s s i p is overwhelmingly critical, and it is primarily a b o u t t h e moral a n d social violations of others. (For college s t u d e n t s , this m e a n t a lot of talk a b o u t the sexuality, cleanliness, a n d drinking habits of their f r i e n d s a n d r o o m m a t e s . ) People do occasionally tell stories a b o u t the good d e e d s of others, but s u c h stories are only o n e tenth a s c o m m o n a s stories a b o u t t r a n s g r e s s i o n s . W h e n p e o p l e p a s s along high-quality ("juicy") g o s s i p , they feel m o r e p o w e r f u l , they have a better shared s e n s e of what is right a n d what's wrong, a n d they feel more closely c o n n e c t e d to their g o s s i p partners.

Reciprocity with a Vengeance 4 7 A s e c o n d s t u d y r e v e a l e d that m o s t p e o p l e h o l d n e g a t i v e v i e w s o f g o s s i p and gossipers, even though almost everyone gossips. W h e n we c o m p a r e d p e o p l e ' s a t t i t u d e s a b o u t g o s s i p t o t h e s o c i a l f u n c t i o n s that g o s s i p s e r v e s , H o l l y a n d I c a m e to b e l i e v e that g o s s i p is u n d e r a p p r e c i a t e d . In a w o r l d with n o g o s s i p , p e o p l e w o u l d n o t g e t a w a y with m u r d e r b u t they w o u l d g e t a w a y w i t h a trail o f r u d e , s e l f i s h , a n d a n t i s o c i a l a c t s , o f t e n o b l i v i o u s t o their o w n violations. G o s s i p e x t e n d s o u r moral—emotional toolkit. In a g o s sipy world, w e don't j u s t f e e l v e n g e a n c e a n d g r a t i t u d e t o w a r d t h o s e w h o hurt o r h e l p u s ; w e feel p a l e but still i n s t r u c t i v e f l a s h e s o f c o n t e m p t a n d a n g e r t o w a r d p e o p l e w h o m w e m i g h t not e v e n know. W e f e e l v i c a r i o u s s h a m e and embarrassment when we hear about people whose s c h e m e s , l u s t s , a n d private failings a r e e x p o s e d . G o s s i p i s a p o l i c e m a n a n d a t e a c h e r . W i t h o u t it, t h e r e w o u l d b e c h a o s a n d i g n o r a n c e . 2 2 M a n y s p e c i e s r e c i p r o c a t e , b u t only h u m a n s g o s s i p , a n d m u c h o f w h a t w e g o s s i p a b o u t i s t h e v a l u e o f o t h e r p e o p l e a s p a r t n e r s for r e c i p r o c a l relationships. U s i n g t h e s e tools, we create an ultrasocial world, a w o r l d in w h i c h w e refrain f r o m nearly all t h e w a y s w e c o u l d t a k e a d v a n t a g e o f t h o s e w e a k e r t h a n u s , a world i n w h i c h w e o f t e n h e l p t h o s e w h o a r e u n l i k e l y e v e r t o b e a b l e t o r e t u r n t h e favor. W e want t o p l a y tit for tat, w h i c h m e a n s s t a r t i n g o u t n i c e w i t h o u t b e i n g a p u s h o v e r , a n d we want to c u l t i v a t e a repu t a t i o n for b e i n g a g o o d player. G o s s i p a n d r e p u t a t i o n m a k e s u r e t h a t w h a t g o e s a r o u n d c o m e s a r o u n d — a p e r s o n w h o i s c r u e l will f i n d that o t h e r s a r e c r u e l b a c k t o h i m , a n d a p e r s o n w h o i s kind will f i n d t h a t o t h e r o t h e r s a r e kind i n return. G o s s i p p a i r e d with r e c i p r o c i t y a l l o w k a r m a t o w o r k h e r e o n e a r t h , not i n t h e next life. A s l o n g a s e v e r y o n e p l a y s tit-for-tat a u g m e n t e d by gratitude, vengeance, a n d gossip, the whole system should work beautifully. (It rarely d o e s , however, b e c a u s e o f o u r s e l f - s e r v i n g b i a s e s a n d m a s sive hypocrisy. S e e c h a p t e r 4 . )

U S E

THE

F O R C E ,

L U K E

I n o f f e r i n g r e c i p r o c i t y a s t h e b e s t w o r d t o g u i d e o n e ' s life, C o n f u c i u s w a s w i s e . R e c i p r o c i t y i s like a m a g i c w a n d that c a n c l e a r your w a y t h r o u g h t h e

56

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

j u n g l e o f s o c i a l life. B u t a s a n y o n e w h o h a s r e a d a H a r r y P o t t e r hook knows, m a g i c w a n d s c a n b e u s e d a g a i n s t you. Robert C i a l d i n i s p e n t years studying the dark arts of social i n f l u e n c e : He routinely a n s w e r e d a d s recruiting p e o p l e to work as door-to-door s a l e s m e n a n d t e l e m a r k e t e r s , a n d went through their training p r o g r a m s to learn their t e c h n i q u e s . He then wrote a m a n u a l 2 3 for t h o s e of us w h o want to resist the tricks of "compliance professionals." Cialdini d e s c r i b e s six principles that s a l e s p e o p l e u s e against us, but the most basic of all is reciprocity. People w h o want s o m e t h i n g f r o m us try to give us s o m e t h i n g first, and we all have p i l e s of a d d r e s s stickers a n d free p o s t c a r d s from charities that gave t h e m to us out of the g o o d n e s s of their marketing c o n s u l t a n t s ' hearts. T h e H a r e K r i s h n a s p e r f e c t e d the t e c h n i q u e : T h e y p r e s s e d flowers or c h e a p c o p i e s of the Bhagavad Gita into the h a n d s of u n s u s p e c t i n g p e d e s t r i a n s , a n d only t h e n a s k e d for a d o n a t i o n . W h e n C i a l d i n i s t u d i e d the K r i s h n a s a t O ' H a r e Airport i n C h i c a g o , h e noticed that they routinely went a r o u n d the g a r b a g e pails to collect a n d recycle the f l o w e r s that they k n e w w o u l d b e thrown away. F e w p e o p l e w a n t e d the flowers, but in the early days of the t e c h n i q u e , m o s t were u n a b l e j u s t to accept them and walk on without giving s o m e t h i n g in return. T h e K r i s h n a s grew wealthy by e x p l o i t i n g p e o p l e ' s r e c i p r o c i t y r e f l e x e s — u n t i l e v e r y o n e learned a b o u t the K r i s h n a s and f o u n d ways to avoid taking the "gift" in the first p l a c e . B u t legions of others are still after you. S u p e r m a r k e t s a n d A m w a y dealers give out free s a m p l e s to boost s a l e s . W a i t e r s a n d w a i t r e s s e s p u t a mint on the c h e c k tray, a t e c h n i q u e that h a s b e e n s h o w n to boost t i p s . 2 4 Including a five-dollar "gift c h e c k " along with a survey s e n t in the mail i n c r e a s e s people's willingness to c o m p l e t e the survey, even m o r e than d o e s promising to s e n d t h e m fifty dollars for c o m p l e t i n g t h e survey. 2 5 If you get s o m e thing for nothing, part of you may be p l e a s e d , but part of you (part of the e l e p h a n t — a u t o m a t i c p r o c e s s e s ) m o v e s your h a n d t o your wallet t o give s o m e t h i n g back. Reciprocity works j u s t as well for bargaining. Cialdini w a s o n c e a s k e d by a boy scout to buy tickets to a movie he didn't want to see. W h e n Cialdini said no, the s c o u t a s k e d him to buy s o m e less expensive c h o c o l a t e bars instead. Cialdini f o u n d himself walking away with three c h o c o l a t e bars that

Reciprocity with a Vengeance 4 7 h e didn't w a n t . T h e s c o u t h a d m a d e a c o n c e s s i o n , a n d C i a l d i n i a u t o m a t i cally r e c i p r o c a t e d by m a k i n g a c o n c e s s i o n of his o w n . B u t rather t h a n getting m a d , C i a l d i n i got d a t a . H e c o n d u c t e d his o w n version o f t h e e n c o u n t e r , a s k i n g c o l l e g e s t u d e n t s w a l k i n g o n c a m p u s w h e t h e r they w o u l d v o l u n t e e r t o c h a p e r o n e a g r o u p of j u v e n i l e d e l i n q u e n t s to the zoo for a day. O n l y 1 7 p e r c e n t a g r e e d . B u t i n a n o t h e r c o n d i t i o n o f t h e study, s t u d e n t s w e r e first a s k e d w h e t h e r they w o u l d v o l u n t e e r to work for t w o h o u r s a w e e k for t w o y e a r s with j u v e n i l e d e l i n q u e n t s . All s a i d no, b u t w h e n t h e e x p e r i m e n t e r t h e n a s k e d a b o u t t h e day trip t o t h e zoo, 5 0 p e r c e n t s a i d y e s . 2 6 C o n c e s s i o n l e a d s t o c o n c e s s i o n . I n f i n a n c i a l bargaining, too, p e o p l e w h o s t a k e o u t a n e x t r e m e first p o s i t i o n a n d then m o v e toward t h e m i d d l e e n d u p d o i n g b e t t e r t h a n t h o s e w h o s t a t e a m o r e r e a s o n a b l e first p o s i t i o n a n d t h e n hold f a s t . 2 7 A n d t h e e x t r e m e o f f e r f o l l o w e d by c o n c e s s i o n doesn't j u s t get y o u a b e t t e r p r i c e , it g e t s y o u a h a p p i e r p a r t n e r (or v i c t i m ) : S h e is m o r e likely to h o n o r t h e a g r e e m e n t b e c a u s e s h e f e e l s that s h e h a d m o r e i n f l u e n c e o n t h e o u t c o m e . T h e very p r o c e s s of give a n d t a k e c r e a t e s a f e e l i n g of p a r t n e r s h i p , e v e n in t h e p e r s o n b e i n g taken. S o t h e next t i m e a s a l e s m a n g i v e s y o u a f r e e g i f t o r c o n s u l t a t i o n , o r m a k e s a c o n c e s s i o n o f a n y sort, d u c k . D o n ' t let h i m p r e s s your r e c i p r o c i t y b u t t o n . T h e b e s t w a y o u t , C i a l d i n i a d v i s e s , i s t o fight r e c i p r o c i t y w i t h r e c i procity. I f y o u c a n r e a p p r a i s e t h e s a l e s m a n ' s m o v e for w h a t i t i s — a n e f f o r t t o exploit y o u — y o u ' l l feel e n t i t l e d t o exploit h i m right b a c k . A c c e p t t h e gift or c o n c e s s i o n with a f e e l i n g of v i c t o r y — y o u a r e e x p l o i t i n g an e x p l o i t e r — not mindless obligation. R e c i p r o c i t y is n o t j u s t a w a y of d e a l i n g with boy s c o u t s a n d o b n o x i o u s s a l e s p e o p l e ; it's f o r f r i e n d s a n d lovers, too. R e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e e x q u i s i t e l y s e n s i t i v e to b a l a n c e in their early s t a g e s , a n d a g r e a t w a y to ruin t h i n g s is e i t h e r to give too m u c h (you s e e m p e r h a p s a bit d e s p e r a t e ) or t o o little ( y o u s e e m c o l d a n d r e j e c t i n g ) . Rather, r e l a t i o n s h i p s grow b e s t b y b a l a n c e d g i v e a n d take, e s p e c i a l l y o f g i f t s , f a v o r s , a t t e n t i o n , a n d s e l f - d i s c l o s u r e . T h e first three a r e s o m e w h a t o b v i o u s , b u t p e o p l e o f t e n don't realize t h e d e g r e e t o which the disclosure of personal information is a g a m b i t in the d a t i n g g a m e . W h e n s o m e o n e tells y o u a b o u t p a s t r o m a n t i c r e l a t i o n s h i p s , t h e r e i s c o n v e r s a t i o n a l p r e s s u r e for y o u t o d o t h e s a m e . I f this d i s c l o s u r e c a r d i s played t o o early, y o u m i g h t feel a m b i v a l e n c e — y o u r r e c i p r o c i t y r e f l e x m a k e s

58

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

you p r e p a r e your own m a t c h i n g d i s c l o s u r e , b u t s o m e other part of you resists sharing intimate details with a near-stranger. But w h e n it's played at the right time, the p a s t - r e l a t i o n s h i p s - m u t u a l - d i s c l o s u r e c o n v e r s a t i o n c a n be a m e m o r a b l e turning point on the road to love. Reciprocity is an all-purpose relationship tonic. U s e d properly, it strengthens, lengthens, and rejuvenates social ties. It works so well in part b e c a u s e the elephant is a natural mimic. For e x a m p l e , when we interact with someone we like, we have a slight tendency to c o p y their every m o v e , automatically and unconsciously. 2 8 If the other p e r s o n taps her foot, you are more likely to tap yours. If s h e t o u c h e s her f a c e , you a r e m o r e likely to t o u c h yours. But it's not j u s t that we m i m i c t h o s e we like; we like those w h o mimic us. People who are subtly m i m i c k e d are then m o r e helpful a n d agreeable toward their mimicker, a n d even toward o t h e r s . 2 9 Waitresses w h o m i m i c their c u s t o m e r s get larger tips. 3 0 Mimicry is a kind of social glue, a way of saying "We are o n e . " T h e unifying p l e a s u r e s of mimicry are particularly clear in synchronized activities, s u c h a s line d a n c e s , g r o u p c h e e r s , a n d s o m e religious r i t u a l s , i n which p e o p l e try to do the s a m e thing at the s a m e time. A t h e m e of the rest of this book is that h u m a n s are partially hive c r e a t u r e s , like b e e s , yet in the m o d e r n world we s p e n d nearly all our t i m e o u t s i d e of the hive. Reciprocity, like love, r e c o n n e c t s us with others.

The

Faults

of Others

Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? . . . You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye. — M A T T H E W

7:3 — 5

It is easy to see the faults of others, but difficult to see one's own faults. One shows the faults of others like chaff winnowed in the wind, but one conceals one's own faults as a cunning gambler conceals his dice. —

B U D D H A

1

I T ' S F U N T O L A U G H a t a hypocrite, a n d r e c e n t years have given A m e r i c a n s a g r e a t d e a l t o l a u g h at. T a k e t h e c o n s e r v a t i v e r a d i o s h o w h o s t R u s h L i m b a u g h , w h o o n c e said, in r e s p o n s e to the criticism that the U n i t e d S t a t e s p r o s e c u t e s a d i s p r o p o r t i o n a t e n u m b e r o f b l a c k m e n for d r u g c r i m e s , t h a t w h i t e d r u g u s e r s s h o u l d b e s e i z e d a n d " s e n t u p the river," too. I n 2 0 0 3 , h e w a s f o r c e d to eat his words w h e n Florida o f f i c i a l s d i s c o v e r e d his illegal p u r c h a s e of m a s s i v e q u a n t i t i e s of Oxycontin, a painkiller a l s o k n o w n as "hillbilly heroin." A n o t h e r c a s e o c c u r r e d i n m y h o m e s t a t e o f Virginia. C o n g r e s s m a n E d S c h r o c k w a s a n o u t s p o k e n o p p o n e n t o f gay r i g h t s , gay m a r r i a g e , a n d o f

59

60

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

gays serving in the military. S p e a k i n g of the horrors of s u c h c o s e r v i c e , he said, "I m e a n , they are in the showers with you, they are in the dining hall with you." 2 In A u g u s t 2 0 0 4 , a u d i o tapes w e r e m a d e public of the m e s s a g e s that Schrock, a married m a n , had left on M e g a m a t e s , an interactive p h o n e sex line. Schrock described the anatomical f e a t u r e s of the kind of m a n he was seeking, along with the acts he w a s interested in performing. T h e r e is a special p l e a s u r e in the irony of a moralist brought down for the very moral failings he h a s c o n d e m n e d . It's the p l e a s u r e of a well-told joke. S o m e j o k e s a r e f u n n y a s one-liners, b u t m o s t r e q u i r e three v e r s e s : three guys, say, w h o walk into a bar o n e at a time, or a priest, a minister, and a rabbi in a lifeboat. T h e first two set the pattern, and the third violates it. With hypocrisy, the hypocrite's p r e a c h i n g is the s e t u p , the hypocritical action is the p u n c h line. S c a n d a l is g r e a t e n t e r t a i n m e n t b e c a u s e it allows p e o p l e to feel c o n t e m p t , a moral emotion that gives feelings of moral superiority while asking nothing in return. With c o n t e m p t you don't n e e d to right the wrong (as with anger) or flee the s c e n e (as with fear or disgust). A n d best of all, c o n t e m p t is m a d e to share. Stories a b o u t the moral failings of others are a m o n g the most c o m m o n kinds of g o s s i p , 3 they are a staple of talk radio, and they offer a ready w a y for p e o p l e to s h o w that they s h a r e a c o m m o n moral orientation. Tell an a c q u a i n t a n c e a cynical story that e n d s with both of you smirking and shaking your h e a d s a n d voila, you've got a b o n d . Well, stop smirking. O n e of the m o s t universal p i e c e s of a d v i c e f r o m a c r o s s cultures a n d e r a s is that we a r e all h y p o c r i t e s , a n d in our c o n d e m n a tion of others' hypocrisy we only c o m p o u n d o u r own. Social p s y c h o l o g i s t s have recently isolated the m e c h a n i s m s that m a k e us blind to the logs in our own eyes. T h e moral i m p l i c a t i o n s of t h e s e f i n d i n g s are disturbing; ind e e d , they c h a l l e n g e our greatest moral certainties. B u t the i m p l i c a t i o n s c a n be liberating, too, freeing you f r o m d e s t r u c t i v e m o r a l i s m a n d divisive self-righteousness.

K E E P I N G

U P

A P P E A R A N C E S

R e s e a r c h on the evolution of altruism a n d c o o p e r a t i o n has relied heavily on s t u d i e s in which several p e o p l e (or p e o p l e s i m u l a t e d on a c o m p u t e r )

7 he Faults of Others 7 5 p l a y a g a m e . O n e a c h r o u n d o f play, o n e p e r s o n i n t e r a c t s with o n e o t h e r player a n d can c h o o s e to be cooperative (thereby expanding the pie they then share) or greedy (each grabbing as m u c h as possible for h i m s e l f ) . After m a n y r o u n d s o f play, y o u c o u n t u p t h e n u m b e r o f p o i n t s e a c h p l a y e r a c c u m u l a t e d a n d s e e w h i c h strategy w a s m o s t p r o f i t a b l e i n t h e l o n g r u n . I n t h e s e g a m e s , w h i c h a r e i n t e n d e d t o b e s i m p l e m o d e l s o f t h e g a m e o f life, no strategy ever b e a t s tit for tat. 4 In t h e l o n g r u n a n d a c r o s s a variety of e n v i r o n m e n t s , i t p a y s t o c o o p e r a t e w h i l e r e m a i n i n g vigilant t o t h e d a n g e r o f being cheated. But those simple games are in s o m e ways simple m i n d e d . P l a y e r s f a c e a binary c h o i c e a t e a c h p o i n t : T h e y c a n c o o p e r a t e o r d e f e c t . E a c h player then r e a c t s t o w h a t the o t h e r p l a y e r d i d i n t h e p r e v i o u s r o u n d . I n real life, however, y o u don't r e a c t t o w h a t s o m e o n e d i d ; y o u r e a c t o n l y t o w h a t y o u think s h e d i d , a n d t h e g a p b e t w e e n a c t i o n a n d p e r c e p t i o n i s b r i d g e d b y t h e art o f i m p r e s s i o n m a n a g e m e n t . I f life itself i s but w h a t y o u d e e m it, t h e n why n o t f o c u s your e f f o r t s o n p e r s u a d i n g o t h e r s t o believe that y o u a r e a v i r t u o u s a n d t r u s t w o r t h y c o o p e r a t o r ? T h u s N i c c o l o M a c h i a velli, w h o s e n a m e h a s b e c o m e s y n o n y m o u s with t h e c u n n i n g a n d a m o r a l u s e of power, wrote five hundred years ago that "the great majority of m a n k i n d a r e s a t i s f i e d with a p p e a r a n c e s , a s t h o u g h they w e r e r e a l i t i e s , a n d a r e o f t e n m o r e i n f l u e n c e d b y t h e t h i n g s that s e e m t h a n b y t h o s e t h a t a r e . " 5 N a t u r a l s e l e c t i o n , like p o l i t i c s , w o r k s b y t h e p r i n c i p l e o f s u r v i v a l o f t h e f i t t e s t , a n d several r e s e a r c h e r s h a v e a r g u e d that h u m a n b e i n g s e v o l v e d t o play t h e g a m e o f life i n a M a c h i a v e l l i a n way. 6 T h e M a c h i a v e l l i a n v e r s i o n o f tit f o r tat, f o r e x a m p l e , is to do all y o u c a n to c u l t i v a t e t h e re-putation of a t r u s t w o r t h y yet vigilant partner, w h a t e v e r t h e reality m a y b e . T h e s i m p l e s t way to cultivate a reputation for b e i n g fair is to really b e fair, b u t life a n d p s y c h o l o g y e x p e r i m e n t s s o m e t i m e s f o r c e u s t o c h o o s e b e t w e e n a p p e a r a n c e a n d reality. D a n B a t s o n a t t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f K a n s a s d e v i s e d a c l e v e r w a y t o m a k e p e o p l e c h o o s e , a n d h i s f i n d i n g s a r e n o t pretty. H e b r o u g h t s t u d e n t s into his l a b o n e a t a t i m e t o t a k e p a r t i n w h a t t h e y thought was a study of how unequal rewards affect teamwork.7 T h e proced u r e w a s e x p l a i n e d : O n e m e m b e r o f e a c h t e a m o f t w o will b e r e w a r d e d for c o r r e c t r e s p o n s e s to q u e s t i o n s with a r a f f l e ticket that c o u l d win a v a l u a b l e prize. T h e o t h e r m e m b e r will r e c e i v e n o t h i n g . S u b j e c t s w e r e a l s o t o l d t h a t a n a d d i t i o n a l p a r t o f t h e e x p e r i m e n t c o n c e r n e d t h e e f f e c t s o f c o n t r o l : You,

62

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

the s u b j e c t , will d e c i d e which of you is r e w a r d e d , which of you is not. Your partner is already here, in a n o t h e r room, a n d the two of you will not m e e t . Your partner will be told that the d e c i s i o n w a s m a d e by c h a n c e . You c a n m a k e the d e c i s i o n in any way you like. O h , a n d h e r e is a c o i n : M o s t p e o p l e in this study s e e m to think that flipping t h e coin is the f a i r e s t way to m a k e the decision. S u b j e c t s were then left alone to c h o o s e . About half of t h e m u s e d the coin. Batson knows this b e c a u s e the coin w a s w r a p p e d in a plastic bag, and half the bags were ripped open. Of those w h o did not flip the coin, 90 percent c h o s e the positive t a s k for themselves. For those who did flip the coin, the laws of probability were s u s p e n d e d and 90 percent of them c h o s e the positive task for themselves. Batson had given all the subjects a variety of questionnaires a b o u t morality w e e k s e a r l i e r (the s u b j e c t s w e r e s t u d e n t s i n psychology classes), so he w a s a b l e to c h e c k how various m e a s u r e s of moral personality predicted behavior. H i s finding: People who reported b e i n g most concerned about caring for others a n d a b o u t i s s u e s of social responsibility were more likely to o p e n the bag, but they were not more likely to give the other person the positive task. In other words, p e o p l e who think they are particularly moral are in fact m o r e likely to " d o the right thing" a n d flip the coin, but when the coin flip c o m e s out against them, they find a way to ignore it and follow their own self-interest. B a t s o n called this t e n d e n c y to value the a p p e a r a n c e of morality over the reality "moral hypocrisy." Batson's subjects who flipped the coin reported (on a questionnaire) that they had m a d e the decision in an ethical way. After his first study, Batson wondered whether perhaps people tricked themselves by not stating clearly what heads or tails would m e a n ("Let's s e e , heads, that m e a n s , u m , oh yeah, I get the good one."). But when he labeled the two sides of the coin to erase ambiguity, it m a d e no difference. Placing a large mirror in the room, right in front of the subject, a n d at the s a m e time stressing the i m p o r t a n c e of fairness in the instructions, w a s the only m a n i p u l a t i o n that had an e f f e c t . W h e n people were forced to think about f a i r n e s s and could s e e themselves cheating, they stopped doing it. As J e s u s a n d B y d d h a said in the o p e n i n g epigraphs of this chapter, it is easy to spot a cheater w h e n our eyes are looking outward, but hard when looking inward. Folk w i s d o m from around the world concurs:

7 he Faults of Others 7 5 T h o u g h you s e e the seven d e f e c t s of others, we do not s e e our own t e n d e f e c t s . ( J a p a n e s e proverb) 8 A he-goat doesn't realize that he smells. ( N i g e r i a n proverb) 9 Proving that p e o p l e a r e selfish, or that they'll s o m e t i m e s c h e a t w h e n t h e y know they won't be c a u g h t , s e e m s like a g o o d way to get an article into t h e journal of Incredibly Obvious Results. What's not so o b v i o u s is that, in n e a r l y all t h e s e s t u d i e s , p e o p l e don't think they a r e d o i n g a n y t h i n g wrong. It's t h e s a m e in real life. F r o m t h e p e r s o n w h o c u t s y o u o f f on the highway all t h e w a y t o the N a z i s w h o ran t h e c o n c e n t r a t i o n c a m p s , m o s t p e o p l e think they a r e g o o d p e o p l e a n d that their a c t i o n s a r e motivated by g o o d r e a s o n s . M a c h i a v e l lian tit for tat r e q u i r e s devotion to a p p e a r a n c e s , i n c l u d i n g p r o t e s t a t i o n s of one's virtue e v e n w h e n o n e c h o o s e s vice. A n d s u c h p r o t e s t a t i o n s a r e m o s t effective w h e n the p e r s o n m a k i n g t h e m really believes t h e m . A s Robert W r i g h t p u t it in his m a s t e r f u l b o o k The Moral Animal, " H u m a n b e i n g s a r e a s p e c i e s s p l e n d i d in their array of moral e q u i p m e n t , tragic in their p r o p e n s i t y to m i s u s e it, a n d p a t h e t i c in their constitutional i g n o r a n c e of t h e m i s u s e . " 1 0 If Wright is c o r r e c t a b o u t our " c o n s t i t u t i o n a l i g n o r a n c e " of o u r h y p o c r i s y , t h e n the s a g e s ' a d m o n i t i o n t o s t o p s m i r k i n g m a y b e n o m o r e e f f e c t i v e t h a n telling a d e p r e s s e d p e r s o n to s n a p o u t of it. You can't c h a n g e y o u r m e n t a l filters b y willpower a l o n e ; y o u h a v e t o e n g a g e i n activities s u c h a s m e d i t a t i o n or cognitive t h e r a p y that train t h e e l e p h a n t . B u t at l e a s t a d e p r e s s e d p e r s o n will u s u a l l y a d m i t s h e ' s d e p r e s s e d . C u r i n g h y p o c r i s y i s m u c h h a r d e r b e c a u s e part o f t h e p r o b l e m i s that w e don't b e l i e v e there's a p r o b l e m . W e a r e w e l l - a r m e d for battle in a M a c h i a v e l l i a n world of r e p u t a t i o n m a n i p u l a t i o n , a n d o n e o f o u r m o s t i m p o r t a n t w e a p o n s i s t h e d e l u s i o n that w e a r e n o n c o m b a t a n t s . H o w d o w e get a w a y with it?

F I N D

YOUR

I N N E R

L A W Y E R

R e m e m b e r J u l i e a n d M a r k , the sister a n d brother w h o h a d sex b a c k i n c h a p ter 1 ? M o s t p e o p l e c o n d e m n e d their a c t i o n s e v e n i n t h e a b s e n c e o f h a r m ,

64

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

and then m a d e up reasons, s o m e t i m e s bad o n e s , to justify their c o n d e m n a tion. In my studies of moral j u d g m e n t , I have f o u n d that p e o p l e a r e skilled at finding r e a s o n s to s u p p o r t their gut f e e l i n g s : T h e rider a c t s like a lawyer w h o m the elephant has hired to represent it in the court of public opinion. O n e of the r e a s o n s p e o p l e are o f t e n c o n t e m p t u o u s of lawyers is that they fight for a client's interests, not for t h e truth. To be a good lawyer, it often helps to be a g o o d liar. A l t h o u g h m a n y lawyers won't tell a direct lie, m o s t will do w h a t they c a n to h i d e i n c o n v e n i e n t f a c t s while w e a v i n g a p l a u s i b l e alternative story for the j u d g e a n d jury, a story that they s o m e t i m e s k n o w i s not true. O u r i n n e r l a w y e r w o r k s i n the s a m e way, b u t , somehow, we actually believe the stories he m a k e s u p . To u n d e r s t a n d his ways we m u s t c a t c h him in a c t i o n ; we m u s t o b s e r v e him carrying out lowp r e s s u r e as well as high-pressure a s s i g n m e n t s . People s o m e t i m e s call their lawyers to a s k w h e t h e r a particular c o u r s e of action is permissible. No p r e s s u r e , j u s t tell me w h e t h e r I c a n do this. T h e lawyer looks into the relevant laws a n d p r o c e d u r e s a n d calls b a c k with a verdict: Yes, there is a legal or regulatory p r e c e d e n t for that; or p e r h a p s no, as your lawyer I would advise against s u c h a c o u r s e . A good lawyer might look at all sides of a question, think a b o u t all possible, ramifications, a n d recomm e n d alternative c o u r s e s of action, but s u c h t h o r o u g h n e s s d e p e n d s in part on his c l i e n t — d o e s she really want a d v i c e or d o e s s h e j u s t w a n t to be given a red or a green light for her plan? S t u d i e s of everyday reasoning show that t h e ' e l e p h a n t is not an inquisitive client. W h e n p e o p l e are given difficult q u e s t i o n s to think a b o u t — f o r exa m p l e , whether the m i n i m u m w a g e s h o u l d be r a i s e d — t h e y generally lean one way or the other right away, a n d then p u t a call in to r e a s o n i n g to see w h e t h e r s u p p o r t for that position is f o r t h c o m i n g . For e x a m p l e , a p e r s o n w h o s e first instinct is that the m i n i m u m w a g e s h o u l d be raised looks around for supporting evidence. If s h e thinks of her A u n t F l o who is working for the m i n i m u m wage and can't support her family on it then yes, that m e a n s the m i n i m u m w a g e s h o u l d be raised. All d o n e . D e a n n a K u h n , 1 1 a cognitive psychologist w h o h a s s t u d i e d s u c h e v e r y d a y r e a s o n i n g , f o u n d that m o s t people readily o f f e r e d " p s e u d o e v i d e n c e " like the a n e c d o t e a b o u t Aunt Flo. M o s t people gave no real e v i d e n c e for their positions, a n d m o s t m a d e no effort to look for e v i d e n c e o p p o s i n g their initial positions. D a v i d Perkins, 1 2 a

7 he Faults of Others 7 5 H a r v a r d p s y c h o l o g i s t w h o h a s d e v o t e d his c a r e e r t o i m p r o v i n g r e a s o n i n g , f o u n d t h e s a m e t h i n g . H e s a y s that t h i n k i n g g e n e r a l l y u s e s t h e " m a k e s s e n s e " s t o p p i n g rule. We t a k e a position, look for e v i d e n c e that s u p p o r t s it, a n d i f w e find s o m e e v i d e n c e — e n o u g h s o that o u r position " m a k e s s e n s e " — we s t o p thinking. B u t at l e a s t in a l o w - p r e s s u r e s i t u a t i o n s u c h as t h i s , if s o m e o n e else brings u p r e a s o n s a n d e v i d e n c e o n t h e o t h e r s i d e , p e o p l e c a n b e i n d u c e d t o c h a n g e their m i n d s ; they j u s t don't m a k e a n e f f o r t t o d o s u c h thinking for t h e m s e l v e s . N o w let's c r a n k u p t h e p r e s s u r e . T h e c l i e n t h a s b e e n c a u g h t c h e a t i n g o n h e r t a x e s . S h e c a l l s h e r lawyer. S h e d o e s n ' t c o n f e s s a n d a s k , " W a s t h a t O K ? " S h e s a y s , " D o s o m e t h i n g . " T h e lawyer bolts into a c t i o n , a s s e s s e s t h e damaging evidence, researches precedents and loopholes, and figures out h o w s o m e p e r s o n a l e x p e n s e s m i g h t b e p l a u s i b l y j u s t i f i e d a s b u s i n e s s exp e n s e s . T h e lawyer h a s b e e n given a n o r d e r : U s e all your p o w e r s t o d e f e n d me. Studies of "motivated reasoning"13 s h o w that p e o p l e w h o a r e motivated to reach a particular conclusion are even worse reasoners than those i n K u h n ' s a n d Perkins's s t u d i e s , b u t t h e m e c h a n i s m i s b a s i c a l l y t h e s a m e : a o n e - s i d e d s e a r c h f o r s u p p o r t i n g e v i d e n c e only. P e o p l e w h o a r e t o l d that they h a v e p e r f o r m e d poorly on a test of s o c i a l i n t e l l i g e n c e t h i n k e x t r a h a r d to find reasons to discount the test; p e o p l e w h o are a s k e d to read a study s h o w i n g that o n e o f their h a b i t s — s u c h a s d r i n k i n g c o f f e e — - i s u n h e a l t h y t h i n k extra h a r d t o f i n d f l a w s i n t h e s t u d y , f l a w s t h a t p e o p l e w h o d o n ' t d r i n k c o f f e e don't n o t i c e . O v e r a n d over a g a i n , s t u d i e s s h o w that p e o p l e set o u t o n a c o g n i t i v e m i s s i o n t o b r i n g b a c k r e a s o n s t o s u p p o r t their p r e f e r r e d b e l i e f o r a c t i o n . A n d b e c a u s e w e a r e u s u a l l y s u c c e s s f u l i n this m i s s i o n , w e e n d up with t h e illusion of objectivity. We really believe that o u r p o s i t i o n is rationally a n d o b j e c t i v e l y j u s t i f i e d . B e n F r a n k l i n , a s u s u a l , w a s w i s e t o o u r tricks. B u t h e s h o w e d u n u s u a l insight in c a t c h i n g h j m s e l f in t h e a c t . T h o u g h he h a d b e e n a v e g e t a r i a n on p r i n c i p l e , o n o n e l o n g s e a c r o s s i n g t h e m e n w e r e g r i l l i n g f i s h , a n d his mouth started watering: I balanc'd s o m e time b e t w e e n principle a n d inclination, till I r e c o l l e c t d that, w h e n the fish were o p e n e d , I s a w s m a l l e r fish taken out of their s t o m a c h s ; then thought I, "if you eat o n e another, I don't s e e w h y we

66

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

mayn't eat you." So I din'd upon c o d very heartily, and c o n t i n u e d to eat with other p e o p l e , returning only n o w a n d t h e n o c c a s i o n a l l y to a vegetable diet. 1 4 Franklin c o n c l u d e d : " S o c o n v e n i e n t a t h i n g is it to be a r e a s o n a b l e c r e a ture, s i n c e it e n a b l e s o n e to find or m a k e a r e a s o n for every t h i n g o n e h a s a mind to do."

T H E

R O S E - C O L O R E D

M I R R O R

I don't w a n t t o b l a m e e v e r y t h i n g o n t h e lawyer. T h e l a w y e r is, a f t e r all, the r i d e r — y o u r c o n s c i o u s , r e a s o n i n g s e l f ; a n d h e i s t a k i n g o r d e r s f r o m t h e e l e p h a n t — y o u r a u t o m a t i c a n d u n c o n s c i o u s s e l f . T h e two a r e i n c a h o o t s t o win at t h e g a m e of life by p l a y i n g M a c h i a v e l l i a n tit for tat, a n d b o t h a r e in d e n i a l a b o u t it. T o win a t this g a m e y o u m u s t p r e s e n t y o u r b e s t p o s s i b l e s e l f t o o t h e r s . You m u s t a p p e a r v i r t u o u s , w h e t h e r o r not y o u a r e , a n d y o u m u s t g a i n t h e benefits of cooperation whether or not you deserve them. B u t everyone e l s e i s p l a y i n g t h e s a m e g a m e , s o you m u s t a l s o p l a y d e f e n s e — y o u m u s t b e wary o f o t h e r s ' s e l f - p r e s e n t a t i o n s , a n d o f t h e i r e f f o r t s t o c l a i m m o r e for t h e m s e l v e s t h a n they d e s e r v e . S o c i a l life is t h e r e f o r e a l w a y s a g a m e of social c o m p a r i s o n . W e m u s t c o m p a r e o u r s e l v e s t o o t h e r p e o p l e , a n d o u r act i o n s t o their a c t i o n s , a n d w e m u s t s o m e h o w s p i n t h o s e c o m p a r i s o n s i n o u r favor. (In d e p r e s s i o n , part o f the i l l n e s s i s t h a t s p i n g o e s t h e o t h e r way, a s d e s c r i b e d b y A a r o n B e c k ' s c o g n i t i v e t r i a d : I'm b a d , t h e w o r l d i s terrible, a n d m y f u t u r e i s b l e a k . ) You c a n s p i n a c o m p a r i s o n e i t h e r b y i n f l a t i n g y o u r o w n c l a i m s o r b y d i s p a r a g i n g t h e c l a i m s o f o t h e r s . You m i g h t e x p e c t , given w h a t I've s a i d s o far, that w e d o b o t h , b u t t h e c o n s i s t e n t f i n d i n g o f p s y c h o logical r e s e a r c h i s that w e a r e fairly a c c u r a t e i n o u r p e r c e p t i o n s o f o t h e r s . It's o u r s e l f - p e r c e p t i o n s that a r e d i s t o r t e d b e c a u s e w e look a t o u r s e l v e s i n a r o s e - c o l o r e d mirror. I n G a r r i s o n Keillor's mythical town o f L a k e W o b e g o n , all t h e w o m e n are strong, all the m e n g o o d looking, a n d all t h e c h i l d r e n a b o v e a v e r a g e . B u t if t h e W o b e g o n i a n s w e r e real p e o p l e , t h e y w o u l d g o f u r t h e r : M o s t o f t h e m

7 he

Faults of Others 7 5

w o u l d b e l i e v e they w e r e stronger, b e t t e r looking, o r s m a r t e r t h a n t h e a v e r age Wobegonian. W h e n A m e r i c a n s and E u r o p e a n s are asked to rate t h e m s e l v e s o n v i r t u e s , skills, o r o t h e r d e s i r a b l e traits ( i n c l u d i n g i n t e l l i g e n c e , driving ability, s e x u a l skills, a n d e t h i c s ) , a l a r g e m a j o r i t y s a y they a r e a b o v e average.15 (This effect is weaker in East Asian countries, and m a y not exist in J a p a n . ) 1 6 I n a brilliant s e r i e s o f e x p e r i m e n t s , 1 7 N i c k E p l e y a n d D a v i d D u n n i n g figu r e d out h o w w e d o it. T h e y a s k e d s t u d e n t s a t C o r n e l l University t o p r e d i c t h o w m a n y f l o w e r s they w o u l d b u y i n a n u p c o m i n g c h a r i t y e v e n t a n d h o w m a n y t h e a v e r a g e C o r n e l l s t u d e n t w o u l d buy. T h e n they l o o k e d a t a c t u a l behavior. P e o p l e h a d greatly o v e r e s t i m a t e d their o w n virtue, but w e r e p r e t t y c l o s e o n their g u e s s e s a b o u t o t h e r s . I n a s e c o n d study, E p l e y a n d D u n n i n g a s k e d p e o p l e t o p r e d i c t what they w o u l d d o i n a g a m e that c o u l d b e p l a y e d f o r m o n e y e i t h e r selfishly o r cooperatively. S a m e f i n d i n g s : E i g h t y - f o u r perc e n t p r e d i c t e d that they'd c o o p e r a t e , b u t t h e s u b j e c t s e x p e c t e d (on a v e r a g e ) t h a t only 6 4 p e r c e n t o f o t h e r s w o u l d c o o p e r a t e . W h e n they ran t h e real g a m e , 6 1 p e r c e n t c o o p e r a t e d . I n a third study, E p l e y a n d D u n n i n g p a i d p e o p l e five dollars for p a r t i c i p a t i n g i n a n e x p e r i m e n t a n d t h e n a s k e d t h e m t o p r e d i c t h o w m u c h o f the m o n e y they a n d o t h e r s w o u l d d o n a t e , h y p o t h e t ically, h a d t h e y b e e n given a p a r t i c u l a r c h a r i t a b l e a p p e a l a f t e r t h e s t u d y . P e o p l e s a i d (on a v e r a g e ) they'd d o n a t e $ 2 . 4 4 , a n d o t h e r s w o u l d d o n a t e only $ 1 . 8 3 . B u t w h e n t h e s t u d y w a s r e r u n with a real r e q u e s t t o give m o n e y , t h e a v e r a g e gift w a s $ 1 . 5 3 . In their cleverest study, the r e s e a r c h e r s d e s c r i b e d t h e details of t h e third study to a new group of subjects and asked them to predict how m u c h m o n e y they would d o n a t e if they h a d b e e n in the "real" c o n d i t i o n , a n d h o w m u c h m o n e y other-Cornell s t u d e n t s w o u l d d o n a t e . O n c e again, s u b j e c t s p r e d i c t e d they'd b e m u c h m o r e g e n e r o u s than others. B u t then s u b j e c t s s a w t h e a c t u a l a m o u n t s of m o n e y d o n a t e d by real s u b j e c t s f r o m t h e third study, revealed to t h e m o n e at a t i m e ( a n d averaging $ 1.53). A f t e r b e i n g given this n e w i n f o r m a tion, s u b j e c t s w e r e given a c h a n c e to revise their e s t i m a t e s , a n d they d i d . T h e y l o w e r e d their e s t i m a t e s o f w h a t o t h e r s w o u l d give, but they d i d not c h a n g e their e s t i m a t e s of what they t h e m s e l v e s w o u l d give. In other w o r d s , s u b j e c t s u s e d b a s e rate information properly to revise their p r e d i c t i o n s of others, but they r e f u s e d to apply it to their rosy s e l f - a s s e s s m e n t s . We j u d g e o t h e r s

68

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

by their behavior, but we think we have special information about o u r s e l v e s — we know what we are "really like" inside, so we c a n easily find ways to explain away our selfish a c t s and cling to the illusion that we are better than others. Ambiguity a b e t s the illusion. For m a n y traits, s u c h a s l e a d e r s h i p , there are so many ways to d e f i n e it that o n e is f r e e to p i c k the criterion that will m o s t flatter o n e s e l f . If I'm c o n f i d e n t , I c a n d e f i n e l e a d e r s h i p as c o n f i d e n c e . If I think I'm high on p e o p l e skills, I c a n d e f i n e l e a d e r s h i p as the ability t o u n d e r s t a n d a n d i n f l u e n c e p e o p l e . W h e n c o m p a r i n g o u r s e l v e s t o others, the general p r o c e s s is this: F r a m e t h e q u e s t i o n ( u n c o n s c i o u s l y , aut o m a t i c a l l y ) so that t h e trait in q u e s t i o n is r e l a t e d to a s e l f - p e r c e i v e d strength, then g o out a n d look for e v i d e n c e that you h a v e t h e strength. O n c e you find a p i e c e of e v i d e n c e , o n c e y o u have a " m a k e s - s e n s e " story, you are d o n e . You c a n s t o p thinking, a n d revel in your s e l f - e s t e e m . It's no wonder, then, that in a study of 1 million A m e r i c a n high s c h o o l s t u d e n t s , 70 p e r c e n t thought they w e r e a b o v e a v e r a g e on l e a d e r s h i p ability, but only 2 p e r c e n t thought they were below a v e r a g e . E v e r y o n e c a n f i n d some skill that might be c o n s t r u e d as related to l e a d e r s h i p , a n d then find some p i e c e of e v i d e n c e that o n e h a s that skill. 1 8 ( C o l l e g e p r o f e s s o r s are less w i s e than high school s t u d e n t s in this r e s p e c t — 9 4 p e r c e n t of us think we do aboveaverage work.) 1 9 But w h e n there is little r o o m for a m b i g u i t y — h o w tall are you? how good are you at j u g g l i n g ? — p e o p l e t e n d to be m u c h m o r e m o d e s t . If the only e f f e c t of t h e s e r a m p a n t e s t e e m - i n f l a t i n g b i a s e s w a s to m a k e p e o p l e feel g o o d a b o u t t h e m s e l v e s , they w o u l d not be a p r o b l e m . In fact, e v i d e n c e s h o w s that p e o p l e w h o hold p e r v a s i v e p o s i t i v e i l l u s i o n s a b o u t t h e m s e l v e s , their abilities, a n d their f u t u r e p r o s p e c t s are mentally healthier, happier, a n d better liked than p e o p l e w h o lack s u c h i l l u s i o n s . 2 0 But s u c h b i a s e s c a n m a k e p e o p l e feel that they d e s e r v e m o r e t h a n they do, thereby setting the s t a g e for e n d l e s s d i s p u t e s with other p e o p l e w h o feel equally over-entitled. I fought endlessly with my first-year c o l l e g e r o o m m a t e s . I h a d provided m u c h of our furniture, including the highly v a l u e d refrigerator, a n d I did m o s t of the work k e e p i n g our c o m m o n s p a c e c l e a n . A f t e r a while, I got tired of d o i n g m o r e than my share; I s t o p p e d working so hard a n d let the s p a c e b e c o m e m e s s y s o that s o m e o n e e l s e w o u l d pick u p the s l a c k . N o body did. B u t they did pick up my r e s e n t m e n t , a n d it united t h e m in their

7 he Faults of Others 7 5 d i s l i k e o f m e . T h e next year, w h e n w e n o l o n g e r lived together, w e b e c a m e close friends. W h e n m y f a t h e r d r o v e m e a n d m y r e f r i g e r a t o r u p t o c o l l e g e t h a t first year, he told me that t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t t h i n g s I w a s g o i n g to learn I w o u l d not learn in t h e c l a s s r o o m , a n d he w a s right. It took m a n y m o r e y e a r s of living with r o o m m a t e s , but I finally realized w h a t a fool I h a d m a d e of m y s e l f that first year. Of c o u r s e I t h o u g h t I did m o r e t h a n my s h a r e . A l t h o u g h I w a s a w a r e of every little t h i n g I did for the g r o u p , I w a s a w a r e of only a p o r t i o n of e v e r y o n e else's c o n t r i b u t i o n s . A n d e v e n if I h a d b e e n c o r r e c t in my a c c o u n t i n g , I w a s s e l f - r i g h t e o u s in s e t t i n g up t h e a c c o u n t i n g c a t e g o r i e s . I p i c k e d t h e things I c a r e d a b o u t — s u c h a s k e e p i n g t h e refrigerator c l e a n — a n d t h e n g a v e m y s e l f an A - p l u s in that category. As with o t h e r k i n d s of social c o m p a r i s o n , a m b i g u i t y a l l o w s u s t o set u p t h e c o m p a r i s o n i n w a y s t h a t favor o u r s e l v e s , a n d t h e n t o s e e k e v i d e n c e that s h o w s w e a r e e x c e l l e n t c o o p e r a t o r s . S t u d i e s o f s u c h " u n c o n s c i o u s o v e r c l a i m i n g " s h o w that w h e n h u s b a n d s and wives e s t i m a t e the p e r c e n t a g e of housework e a c h d o e s , their e s t i m a t e s total m o r e t h a n 1 2 0 p e r c e n t . 2 1 W h e n M B A s t u d e n t s i n a w o r k g r o u p m a k e e s t i m a t e s o f their c o n t r i b u t i o n s t o t h e t e a m , t h e e s t i m a t e s total 1 39 percent.22 Whenever people form cooperative groups, which are usually o f m u t u a l b e n e f i t , s e l f - s e r v i n g b i a s e s t h r e a t e n t o fill g r o u p m e m b e r s with m u t u a l r e s e n t m e n t .

I'M

R I G H T ;

Y O U ' R E

B I A S E D

If s p o u s e s , colleagues, and r o o m m a t e s so easily d e s c e n d into r e s e n t m e n t , t h i n g s get w o r s e w h e n p e o p l e w h o l a c k a f f e c t i o n o r s h a r e d g o a l s h a v e t o n e g o t i a t e . Vast s o c i e t a l r e s o u r c e s a r e e x p e n d e d o n litigation, l a b o r s t r i k e s , d i v o r c e d i s p u t e s , a n d v i o l e n c e a f t e r f a i l e d p e a c e talks b e c a u s e t h e s a m e self-serving biases are at work f o m e n t i n g hypocritical indignation. In t h e s e h i g h - p r e s s u r e s i t u a t i o n s , t h e lawyers (real a n d m e t a p h o r i c a l ) a r e w o r k i n g r o u n d t h e c l o c k t o s p i n a n d distort t h e c a s e i n their c l i e n t s ' favor. G e o r g e L o e w e n s t e i n 2 3 a n d his c o l l e a g u e s a t C a r n e g i e M e l l o n f o u n d a w a y t o s t u d y t h e p r o c e s s b y giving p a i r s o f r e s e a r c h s u b j e c t s a real legal c a s e t o r e a d (about a motorcycle accident, in Texas), assigning one subject to play the

70

T H E

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O'T H E S I S

d e f e n d a n t a n d o n e t h e plaintiff, a n d t h e n giving t h e m real m o n e y t o negotiate with. E a c h pair w a s told to r e a c h a f a i r a g r e e m e n t a n d w a r n e d that, if they f a i l e d t o a g r e e , a s e t t l e m e n t w o u l d b e i m p o s e d a n d " c o u r t c o s t s " ded u c t e d f r o m the p o o l o f money, l e a v i n g b o t h p l a y e r s w o r s e o f f . W h e n b o t h players k n e w w h i c h role e a c h w a s t o play f r o m the start, e a c h r e a d t h e c a s e m a t e r i a l s differently, m a d e d i f f e r e n t g u e s s e s a b o u t w h a t s e t t l e m e n t t h e j u d g e in the real c a s e h a d i m p o s e d , a n d a r g u e d in a b i a s e d way. M o r e than a q u a r t e r of all p a i r s f a i l e d to r e a c h an a g r e e m e n t . ' H o w e v e r , w h e n t h e playe r s didn't know w h i c h role they w e r e to play until a f t e r they h a d read all t h e m a t e r i a l s , they b e c a m e m u c h m o r e r e a s o n a b l e , a n d only 6 p e r c e n t o f p a i r s f a i l e d to settle. R e c o g n i z i n g that h i d i n g n e g o t i a t o r s ' i d e n t i t i e s f r o m t h e m until the last m i n u t e is not an o p t i o n in t h e real world, L o e w e n s t e i n set o u t to f i n d other ways t o " d e - b i a s " n e g o t i a t o r s . H e tried h a v i n g s u b j e c t s read a s h o r t e s s a y a b o u t the k i n d s of s e l f - s e r v i n g b i a s e s that a f f e c t p e o p l e in their s i t u a t i o n to s e e w h e t h e r s u b j e c t s c o u l d c o r r e c t for t h e b i a s e s . N o d i c e . A l t h o u g h the s u b j e c t s u s e d the i n f o r m a t i o n t o p r e d i c t t h e i r o p p o n e n t ' s b e h a v i o r m o r e accurately, they did not c h a n g e their o w n b i a s e s a t all. A s E p l e y a n d D u n n i n g h a d f o u n d , p e o p l e really a r e o p e n t o i n f o r m a t i o n that will p r e d i c t the behavior of o t h e r s , b u t they r e f u s e to a d j u s t their s e l f - a s s e s s m e n t s . In another study, L o e w e n s t e i n f o l l o w e d t h e a d v i c e o f t e n given by m a r r i a g e thera p i s t s t o have e a c h s u b j e c t first write a n e s s a y a r g u i n g t h e o t h e r p e r s o n ' s c a s e a s convincingly a s p o s s i b l e . E v e n w o r s e t h a n n o d i c e . T h e m a n i p u l a tion b a c k f i r e d , p e r h a p s b e c a u s e t h i n k i n g a b o u t your o p p o n e n t ' s a r g u m e n t s a u t o m a t i c a l l y triggers a d d i t i o n a l t h i n k i n g o n your o w n part a s y o u p r e p a r e to refute them. O n e m a n i p u l a t i o n did work. W h e n s u b j e c t s r e a d t h e e s s a y a b o u t selfserving b i a s e s a n d w e r e then a s k e d t o write a n e s s a y a b o u t w e a k n e s s e s i n their own c a s e , their p r e v i o u s r i g h t e o u s n e s s w a s s h a k e n . S u b j e c t s in this study were j u s t as fair-minded as t h o s e w h o l e a r n e d their identities at the last minute. But b e f o r e you get too o p t i m i s t i c a b o u t this t e c h n i q u e for red u c i n g hypocrisy, you s h o u l d realize that L o e w e n s t e i n w a s a s k i n g s u b j e c t s to find w e a k n e s s e s in their cases—in t h e p o s i t i o n s they were a r g u i n g f o r — n o t in their characters. W h e n you try to p e r s u a d e p e o p l e to look at their own per-

7 he Faults of Others 7 5 sonal p i c t u r e of D o r i a n Gray, they p u t up a m u c h bigger fight. E m i l y P r o n i n a t P r i n c e t o n a n d L e e R o s s a t S t a n f o r d have tried t o help p e o p l e o v e r c o m e their self-serving b i a s e s b y t e a c h i n g t h e m a b o u t b i a s e s a n d t h e n a s k i n g , " O K , n o w that you k n o w a b o u t t h e s e b i a s e s , d o y o u w a n t t o c h a n g e w h a t y o u j u s t said about yourself?" Across many studies, the results were the s a m e : 2 4 P e o p l e w e r e q u i t e h a p p y t o learn a b o u t the various f o r m s o f s e l f - s e r v i n g b i a s a n d then a p p l y their n e w f o u n d k n o w l e d g e t o p r e d i c t others' r e s p o n s e s . B u t their self-ratings w e r e u n a f f e c t e d . E v e n w h e n you g r a b p e o p l e b y t h e l a p e l s , s h a k e t h e m , a n d say, " L i s t e n t o m e ! M o s t p e o p l e h a v e a n i n f l a t e d v i e w o f t h e m s e l v e s . B e realistic!" they r e f u s e , m u t t e r i n g t o t h e m s e l v e s , "Well, o t h e r p e o p l e m a y be b i a s e d , but I really am a b o v e a v e r a g e on l e a d e r s h i p . " Pronin a n d R o s s t r a c e this r e s i s t a n c e to a p h e n o m e n o n they call " n a i v e r e a l i s m " : E a c h of us thinks we s e e t h e world directly, as it really is. We f u r ther believe that t h e f a c t s a s w e s e e t h e m a r e there for all t o s e e , t h e r e f o r e o t h e r s s h o u l d a g r e e with us. If they don't a g r e e , it f o l l o w s e i t h e r that t h e y h a v e not yet b e e n e x p o s e d to t h e relevant f a c t s or e l s e that they a r e b l i n d e d b y their i n t e r e s t s a n d ideologies. P e o p l e a c k n o w l e d g e that their o w n b a c k g r o u n d s h a v e s h a p e d their views, but s u c h e x p e r i e n c e s a r e invariably s e e n a s d e e p e n i n g one's insights; for e x a m p l e , b e i n g a d o c t o r gives a p e r s o n s p e c i a l insight into t h e p r o b l e m s o f t h e h e a l t h - c a r e industry. B u t t h e b a c k g r o u n d o f o t h e r p e o p l e i s u s e d t o explain their b i a s e s a n d covert m o t i v a t i o n s ; for e x a m p l e , d o c t o r s think that lawyers d i s a g r e e with t h e m a b o u t tort r e f o r m not bec a u s e they w o r k with t h e v i c t i m s o f m a l p r a c t i c e ( a n d t h e r e f o r e h a v e t h e i r o w n s p e c i a l i n s i g h t s ) b u t b e c a u s e their self-interest b i a s e s their thinking. I t j u s t s e e m s plain as day, to the naive realist, that e v e r y o n e is i n f l u e n c e d by ideology a n d self-interest. E x c e p t for m e . I s e e things as they are. I f I c o u l d n o m i n a t e o n e c a n d i d a t e for " b i g g e s t o b s t a c l e t o world p e a c e a n d social h a r m o n y , " i t w o u l d b e n a i v e r e a l i s m b e c a u s e i t i s s o e a s i l y r a t c h e t e d u p f r o m t h e individual t o t h e g r o u p level: M y g r o u p i s right b e c a u s e we s e e things as they are. T h o s e w h o disagree are obviously b i a s e d by their religion, their ideology, or their s e l f - i n t e r e s t . N a i v e r e a l i s m gives us a w o r l d full o f g o o d a n d evil, a n d this b r i n g s u s t o t h e m o s t d i s t u r b i n g i m p l i c a t i o n o f t h e s a g e s ' a d v i c e a b o u t h y p o c r i s y : G o o d a n d evil d o not exist o u t s i d e o f our beliefs about them.

72

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

S A T A N

S A T I S F I E S

O n e day in 1998 I received a handwritten letter f r o m a w o m a n in my town w h o m I did not know. T h e w o m a n wrote a b o u t h o w c r i m e , d r u g s , a n d t e e n pregnancy were all spiraling out of control. S o c i e t y w a s g o i n g downhill as S a t a n spread his wings. T h e w o m a n invited m e t o c o m e t o her c h u r c h a n d find spiritual shelter. As I read her letter, I had to a g r e e with her that S a t a n h a d spread his wings, but only to fly away a n d leave us in p e a c e . T h e late 1 9 9 0 s w a s a g o l d e n a g e . T h e cold war w a s over, d e m o c r a c y arid h u m a n rights were spreading, S o u t h Africa had v a n q u i s h e d a p a r t h e i d , Israelis and Palestinians were r e a p i n g the fruits of the O s l o a c c o r d s , and there were enc o u r a g i n g signs from N o r t h Korea. H e r e i n the U n i t e d S t a t e s , c r i m e a n d u n e m p l o y m e n t had p l u m m e t e d , the stock m a r k e t w a s c l i m b i n g ever higher, a n d the e n s u i n g prosperity was promising to e r a s e the national d e b t . E v e n c o c k r o a c h e s were d i s a p p e a r i n g from our cities b e c a u s e o f w i d e s p r e a d u s e of the roach poison C o m b a t . So what on earth w a s s h e talking a b o u t ? W h e n the moral history of the 1 9 9 0 s is written, it might be titled Desperately Seeking Satan. With p e a c e a n d harmony a s c e n d a n t , A m e r i c a n s s e e m e d to be searching for substitute villains. We tried d r u g dealers (but then the c r a c k e p i d e m i c w a n e d ) and child a b d u c t o r s (who are usually o n e of the pare n t s ) . T h e cultural right vilified h o m o s e x u a l s ; the left vilified racists a n d hom o p h o b e s . As I thought a b o u t t h e s e v a r i o u s villains, i n c l u d i n g the older villains of c o m m u n i s m a n d S a t a n himself, I realized that m o s t of t h e m s h a r e three properties: T h e y are invisible (you can't identify the evil o n e from app e a r a n c e alone); their evil s p r e a d s by contagion, m a k i n g it vital to protect impressionable young p e o p l e from infection (for e x a m p l e f r o m c o m m u n i s t ideas, h o m o s e x u a l teachers, or stereotypes on television); a n d the villains c a n be d e f e a t e d only if we all pull together as a t e a m . I t ' b e c a m e clear to me that p e o p l e want to believe they are on a m i s s i o n f r o m G o d , or that they are fighting for s o m e m o r e secular good (animals, f e t u s e s , w o m e n ' s rights), a n d you can't have m u c h of a mission without g o o d allies a n d a g o o d enemy. T h e problem of evil has bedeviled m a n y religions since their birth. If G o d is all good and all powerful, either he allows evil to flourish (which m e a n s he is not all good), or else he struggles against evil (which m e a n s he is not all powerful). Religions have generally c h o s e n o n e of three resolutions of this

7 he Faults of Others 7 5 p a r a d o x . 2 5 O n e solution i s straight d u a l i s m : T h e r e exists a g o o d f o r c e a n d a n evil f o r c e , they are e q u a l a n d o p p o s i t e , a n d they fight eternally. H u m a n b e ings are part o f the b a t t l e g r o u n d . W e w e r e c r e a t e d p a r t g o o d , part evil, a n d w e m u s t c h o o s e w h i c h side w e will b e on. T h i s view i s c l e a r e s t i n religions e m a n a t i n g f r o m Persia a n d B a b y l o n i a , s u c h a s Z o r o a s t r i a n i s m , a n d t h e v i e w i n f l u e n c e d C h r i s t i a n i t y as a long-lived doctrine c a l l e d M a n i c h a e i s m . A s e c o n d resolution i s straight m o n i s m : Inhere i s o n e G o d ; h e c r e a t e d the w o r l d a s it n e e d s to be, a n d evil is an illusion, a view that d o m i n a t e d religions that d e v e l o p e d in India. T h e s e religions hold that the entire world—or, at l e a s t , its e m o t i o n a l grip u p o n u s — i s a n illusion, a n d that e n l i g h t e n m e n t c o n s i s t s o f b r e a k i n g o u t o f t h e i l l u s i o n . T h e third a p p r o a c h , t a k e n b y C h r i s t i a n i t y , b l e n d s m o n i s m a n d d u a l i s m in a way that ultimately r e c o n c i l e s the g o o d n e s s a n d p o w e r o f G o d with the e x i s t e n c e o f S a t a n . T h i s a r g u m e n t i s s o c o m p l i c a t e d that I c a n n o t u n d e r s t a n d it. Nor, apparently, c a n m a n y C h r i s t i a n s w h o , j u d g i n g by what I h e a r on g o s p e l radio s t a t i o n s in Virginia, s e e m to h o l d a s t r a i g h t M a n i c h a e a n world view, a c c o r d i n g t o w h i c h G o d a n d S a t a n a r e fighting an eternal war. In f a c t , d e s p i t e the diversity of theological a r g u m e n t s m a d e i n d i f f e r e n t religions, c o n c r e t e r e p r e s e n t a t i o n s o f S a t a n , d e m o n s , a n d other evil entities a r e surprisingly similar a c r o s s c o n t i n e n t s arid e r a s . 2 6 From a psychological perspective, Manichaeism makes perfect sense. " O u r life i s t h e c r e a t i o n o f our m i n d , " a s B u d d h a said, a n d our m i n d s e v o l v e d to play M a c h i a v e l l i a n tit for tat. We all c o m m i t s e l f i s h a n d s h o r t s i g h t e d a c t s , b u t our inner lawyer e n s u r e s that w e d o not b l a m e o u r s e l v e s o r our allies f o r t h e m . W e a r e t h u s c o n v i n c e d o f o u r o w n virtue, but q u i c k t o s e e bias, g r e e d , a n d duplicity i n o t h e r s . W e are o f t e n correct a b o u t others' m o t i v e s , b u t a s a n y c o n f l i c t e s c a l a t e s we b e g i n to e x a g g e r a t e grossly, to w e a v e a s t o r y in w h i c h p u r e virtue (our s i d e ) is in a battle with p u r e vice (theirs).

T H E

M Y T H

O F

P U R E

E V I L

In t h e d a y s a f t e r r e c e i v i n g that letter, I t h o u g h t a lot a b o u t t h e n e e d for evil. I d e c i d e d t o write a n article o n this n e e d a n d u s e t h e tools o f m o d e r n p s y c h o l o g y to u n d e r s t a n d evil in a n e w way. B u t as s o o n as I s t a r t e d my res e a r c h , I f o u n d o u t I w a s too late. By o n e year. A t h r e e - t h o u s a n d - y e a r - o l d

74

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

question had been given a c o m p l e t e and c o m p e l l i n g psychological explanation the previous year by Roy B a u m e i s t e r , o n e of today's m o s t creative social psychologists.

In

Evil:

Inside

Human

Cruelty

and Aggression,27

Baumeister

e x a m i n e d evil from the p e r s p e c t i v e of both victim a n d perpetrator. W h e n taking the perpetrator's perspective, he f o u n d that p e o p l e w h o do things we s e e as evil, from spousal a b u s e all the way to g e n o c i d e , rarely think they are doing anything wrong. T h e y a l m o s t always s e e t h e m s e l v e s as r e s p o n d i n g to attacks and provocations in ways that are j u s t i f i e d . T h e y o f t e n think that they t h e m s e l v e s are victims. But, of c o u r s e , you c a n s e e right through this tactic; you are good at u n d e r s t a n d i n g the b i a s e s that others u s e to protect their self-esteem. T h e disturbing part is that B a u m e i s t e r s h o w s us our own distortions as victims, a n d as righteous a d v o c a t e s of victims. A l m o s t everywhere B a u m e i s t e r looked in the r e s e a r c h literature, he f o u n d that victims often shared s o m e of the b l a m e . M o s t m u r d e r s result from an e s c a l a t i n g cycle of provocation and retaliation; o f t e n , the c o r p s e could j u s t as easily have b e e n the murderer. In half of all d o m e s t i c d i s p u t e s , both s i d e s u s e d viol e n c e . 2 8 B a u m e i s t e r points out that, even in i n s t a n c e s of obvious p o l i c e brutality, s u c h a s the i n f a m o u s v i d e o t a p e d b e a t i n g o f R o d n e y K i n g i n L o s A n g e l e s in 1991, there is usually m u c h m o r e to the story than is s h o w n on the news. ( N e w s programs gain viewers by s a t i s f y i n g people's n e e d to believe that evil stalks the land.) B a u m e i s t e r is an extraordinary social p s y c h o l o g i s t , in part b e c a u s e in his s e a r c h for truth he is u n c o n c e r n e d a b o u t political c o r r e c t n e s s . S o m e t i m e s evil falls out of a clear b l u e sky onto the h e a d of an innocent victim, but m o s t c a s e s are m u c h m o r e c o m p l i c a t e d , a n d B a u m e i s t e r is willing to violate the t a b o o a g a i n s t " b l a m i n g the v i c t i m " in order to u n d e r s t a n d what really h a p p e n e d . People usually have r e a s o n s for c o m m i t t i n g v i o l e n c e , a n d those r e a s o n s usually involve retaliation for a p e r c e i v e d i n j u s t i c e , or selfd e f e n s e . T h i s d o e s not m e a n that both s i d e s a r e equally to b l a m e : Perpetrators often grossly overreact a n d m i s i n t e r p r e t ( u s i n g self-serving b i a s e s ) . B u t Baumeister's point is that we have a d e e p n e e d to u n d e r s t a n d violence a n d cruelty through what he calls "the myth of p u r e evil." Of this myth's m a n y parts, the m o s t i m p o r t a n t are that e v i l d o e r s a r e p u r e in their evil motives (they have no motives for their a c t i o n s b e y o n d s a d i s m a n d g r e e d ) ;

7 he Faults of Others

75

v i c t i m s are p u r e in their v i c t i m h o o d (they did n o t h i n g to bring a b o u t their victimization); a n d evil c o m e s f r o m o u t s i d e a n d is a s s o c i a t e d with a g r o u p o r f o r c e that a t t a c k s our g r o u p . F u r t h e r m o r e , a n y o n e w h o q u e s t i o n s t h e a p p l i c a t i o n of the myth, w h o d a r e s m u d d y the waters of moral certainty, is in l e a g u e with evil. T h e myth of p u r e evil is the ultimate self-serving bias, t h e u l t i m a t e f o r m of n a i v e realism. A n d it is the ultimate c a u s e of m o s t long-running c y c l e s of v i o l e n c e b e c a u s e b o t h s i d e s u s e it to lock t h e m s e l v e s into a M a n i c h a e a n struggle. W h e n G e o r g e W. B u s h said that t h e 9/1 1 terrorists did w h a t t h e y did b e c a u s e they " h a t e our f r e e d o m , " he s h o w e d a s t u n n i n g lack of p s y c h o logical insight. N e i t h e r the 9/1 1 hijackers nor O s a m a Bin L a d e n w e r e particularly u p s e t b e c a u s e A m e r i c a n w o m e n c a n drive, vote, a n d w e a r b i k i n i s . Rather, m a n y Islamic e x t r e m i s t s want to kill A m e r i c a n s b e c a u s e they a r e u s i n g the Myth of P u r e Evil to interpret A r a b history a n d current e v e n t s . T h e y s e e A m e r i c a as t h e G r e a t S a t a n , the c u r r e n t villain in a long p a g e a n t of W e s t e r n humiliation of A r a b nations a n d p e o p l e s . T h e y did w h a t they did as a reaction to A m e r i c a ' s a c t i o n s a n d i m p a c t in the M i d d l e E a s t , as they s e e it through t h e distortions of the M y t h of P u r e Evil. H o w e v e r horrifying it is for terrorists to l u m p all civilians into the c a t e g o r y of " e n e m y " a n d then kill t h e m indiscriminately, s u c h a c t i o n s at least m a k e p s y c h o l o g i cal s e n s e , w h e r e a s killing b e c a u s e of a hatred for f r e e d o m d o e s not. I n a n o t h e r u n s e t t l i n g c o n c l u s i o n , B a u m e i s t e r f o u n d that v i o l e n c e a n d cruelty have four m a i n c a u s e s . T h e first two are obvious attributes of evil: g r e e d / a m b i t i o n (violence for direct personal gain, as in robbery) a n d s a d i s m ( p l e a s u r e in hurting p e o p l e ) . But g r e e d / a m b i t i o n explains only a small portion of violence, a n d s a d i s m explains almost none. O u t s i d e of children's cart o o n s a n d horror films, p e o p l e a l m o s t never hurt others for the s h e e r j o y of hurting s o m e o n e . T h e two biggest c a u s e s of evil are two that we think a r e g o o d , a n d that we try to e n c o u r a g e in our children: high s e l f - e s t e e m a n d moral idealism. H a v i n g high s e l f - e s t e e m doesn't directly c a u s e v i o l e n c e , b u t w h e n s o m e o n e ' s high e s t e e m is unrealistic or narcissistic, it is easily threate n e d by reality; in r e a c t i o n to t h o s e t h r e a t s , p e o p l e — p a r t i c u l a r l y y o u n g m e n — o f t e n lash out violently. 2 9 B a u m e i s t e r q u e s t i o n s t h e u s e f u l n e s s o f p r o g r a m s that try raise children's s e l f - e s t e e m directly instead of by t e a c h i n g

76

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

them skills they can be proud of. S u c h direct e n h a n c e m e n t c a n potentially foster unstable narcissism. Threatened self-esteem a c c o u n t s for a large portion of violence at the individual level, but to really get a m a s s atrocity going you n e e d i d e a l i s m — the belief that your violence is a m e a n s to a moral e n d . T h e major atrocities of t h e twentieth c e n t u r y w e r e c a r r i e d out largely either by m e n w h o thought they were creating a Utopia or e l s e by m e n who believed they were defending their homeland or tribe from a t t a c k . 3 0 Idealism easily b e c o m e s dangerous b e c a u s e it brings with it, almost inevitably, the belief that the e n d s justify the m e a n s . If you are fighting for good or for G o d , what matters is the outcome, not the path. People have little respect for rules; we res p e c t the moral p r i n c i p l e s that underlie m o s t r u l e s . But w h e n a moral mission and legal rules are incompatible, we usually care m o r e about the m i s s i o n . T h e p s y c h o l o g i s t L i n d a S k i t k a 3 1 f i n d s that when p e o p l e have strong moral feelings about a controversial i s s u e — w h e n they have a "moral m a n d a t e " — t h e y care m u c h less about procedural fairness in court c a s e s . They want the "good guys" freed by any m e a n s , and the " b a d guys" convicted by any m e a n s . It is thus not surprising that the administration of G e o r g e W. B u s h consistently argues that extra-judicial killings, indefinite imprisonment without trial, and harsh physical treatment of prisoners are legal and proper steps in fighting the M a n i c h a e a n "war on terror."

F I N D I N G

THE

G R E A T

W A Y

In philosophy classes, I often c a m e across the idea that the world is an illusion. I never really knew what that meant, although it s o u n d e d d e e p . But after two d e c a d e s s t u d y i n g moral psychology, I think I finally g e t it. T h e anthropologist Clifford Geertz wrote that " m a n is an animal s u s p e n d e d in w e b s of significance that he himself has s p u n . " 3 2 That is, the world we live in is not really one m a d e of rocks, trees, a n d physical objects; it is a world of insults, opportunities, status symbols, betrayals, saints, and sinners. All of these are h u m a n creations which, though real in their own way, are not real in the way that rocks and trees are real. T h e s e h u m a n creations are like

7 he Faults of Others 7 5 f a i r i e s i n J . M . B a r r i e s Peter Pan: T h e y e x i s t only i f y o u b e l i e v e i n t h e m . T h e y are the Matrix (from the movie of that n a m e ) ; they are a c o n s e n s u a l hallucination. T h e i n n e r lawyer, t h e r o s e - c o l o r e d mirror, n a i v e r e a l i s m , a n d t h e m y t h o f p u r e e v i l — t h e s e m e c h a n i s m s all c o n s p i r e t o w e a v e for u s a w e b o f s i g n i f i c a n c e upon which angels and d e m o n s fight it out. O u r ever-judging m i n d s then give u s c o n s t a n t f l a s h e s o f approval a n d disapproval, a l o n g with t h e certainty that we are on the s i d e of the angels. F r o m this v a n t a g e p o i n t it all s e e m s s o silly, all t h i s m o r a l i s m , r i g h t e o u s n e s s , a n d h y p o c r i s y . It's b e y o n d silly; i t i s t r a g i c , f o r i t s u g g e s t s that h u m a n b e i n g s will n e v e r a c h i e v e a s t a t e o f l a s t i n g p e a c e a n d h a r m o n y . S o w h a t c a n y o u d o a b o u t it? T h e first s t e p is to s e e it as a g a m e a n d stop taking it so seriously. T h e g r e a t l e s s o n t h a t c o m e s o u t o f a n c i e n t I n d i a i s that life a s w e e x p e r i e n c e i t is a g a m e called " s a m s a r a . " It is a g a m e in which e a c h p e r s o n plays out h i s " d h a r m a , " h i s r o l e o r p a r t i n a g i a n t play. I n t h e g a m e o f s a m s a r a , g o o d t h i n g s h a p p e n t o y o u , a n d y o u a r e happy. T h e n b a d t h i n g s h a p p e n , a n d y o u a r e s a d o r angry. A n d s o i t g o e s , until y o u d i e . T h e n y o u a r e r e b o r n b a c k i n t o it, a n d i t r e p e a t s . T h e m e s s a g e o f t h e Bhagavad Gita ( a c e n t r a l t e x t o f H i n d u i s m ) is that you can't quit the g a m e entirely; you have a role to p l a y in the f u n c t i o n i n g of the universe, a n d you m u s t play that role. B u t y o u s h o u l d d o i t i n t h e right way, w i t h o u t b e i n g a t t a c h e d t o t h e " f r u i t s " o r o u t c o m e s of your action. T h e god Krishna says: I love t h e m a n who h a t e s not nor exults, w h o m o u r n s not nor d e s i r e s . . . w h o i s t h e s a m e t o friend a n d f o e , [the s a m e l w h e t h e r h e b e r e s p e c t e d o r d e s p i s e d , the s a m e i n heat a n d c o l d , i n p l e a s u r e a n d i n pain, w h o h a s p u t a w a y a t t a c h m e n t a n d r e m a i n s u n m o v e d by p r a i s e or b l a m e . . . c o n t e n t e d with w h a t e v e r c o m e s his way. 3 3 B u d d h a w e n t a s t e p further. F i e , too, c o u n s e l e d i n d i f f e r e n c e t o t h e u p s a n d d o w n s o f life, b u t h e u r g e d t h a t w e q u i t t h e g a m e entirely. B u d d h i s m i s a set of p r a c t i c e s for e s c a p i n g s a m s a r a a n d the e n d l e s s cycle of r e b i r t h . T h o u g h d i v i d e d o n w h e t h e r t o r e t r e a t f r o m t h e world o r e n g a g e w i t h it, B u d d h i s t s all a g r e e o n t h e i m p o r t a n c e o f t r a i n i n g t h e m i n d t o s t o p its i n c e s s a n t

78

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

judging. Sen-ts'an, an early C h i n e s e Zen master, urged n o n j u d g m e n t a l i s m as a prerequisite to following "the perfect way" in this p o e m from the eighth century CE: The Perfect

Way is only difficult for those who pick and

choose; Do not like, do not dislike; all will then he clear. Make a

hairbreadth difference, and Heaven and Earth are

-

set apart; If you want the truth to stand clear before you, or

never be for

against.

The struggle between

"for" and "against" is the mind's worst

disease.34

J u d g m e n t a l i s m is indeed a d i s e a s e of the m i n d : it l e a d s to anger, t o r m e n t , a n d conflict. But it is also the mind's normal c o n d i t i o n — t h e e l e p h a n t is always evaluating, always saying " L i k e it" or " D o n ' t like it." So how c a n you c h a n g e your automatic reactions? You know by now that you can't simply resolve to stop j u d g i n g others or to stop b e i n g a hypocrite. But, as B u d d h a taught, the rider c a n gradually learn to t a m e the e l e p h a n t , and m e d i t a t i o n is o n e way to do so. Meditation has b e e n s h o w n to m a k e p e o p l e calmer, less reactive to the u p s a n d d o w n s a n d petty p r o v o c a t i o n s of life. 3 5 M e d i t a t i o n is the E a s t e r n way of training yourself to take things philosophically. Cognitive therapy works, too. In Feeling Good,36 a p o p u l a r g u i d e to cognitive therapy, David B u r n s has written a c h a p t e r on cognitive therapy for anger. H e a d v i s e s u s i n g m a n y o f t h e s a m e t e c h n i q u e s that A a r o n B e c k u s e d for d e p r e s s i o n : Write d o w n your t h o u g h t s , learn to recognize the distortions in your thoughts, a n d then think of a m o r e a p p r o p r i a t e thought. Burns f o c u s e s on the should s t a t e m e n t s we carry a r o u n d — i d e a s a b o u t how the world should work, and a b o u t how p e o p l e should treat u s . Violations of t h e s e should s t a t e m e n t s a r e the m a j o r c a u s e s o f a n g e r a n d r e s e n t m e n t . B u r n s also advises e m p a t h y : In a conflict, look at the world from your opponent's point of view, a n d you'll s e e that s h e is not entirely crazy. Although I a g r e e with Burns's general a p p r o a c h , the material I have reviewed in this c h a p t e r s u g g e s t s that, o n c e a n g e r c o m e s into play, p e o p l e

7 he Faults of Others 7 5 f i n d i t e x t r e m e l y d i f f i c u l t t o e m p a t h i z e with a n d u n d e r s t a n d a n o t h e r p e r s p e c t i v e . A b e t t e r p l a c e t o start is, a s J e s u s a d v i s e d , with y o u r s e l f a n d t h e log i n your o w n e y e . ( B a t s o n a n d L o e w e n s t e i n b o t h f o u n d that d e b i a s i n g o c c u r r e d only w h e n s u b j e c t s w e r e f o r c e d t o look a t t h e m s e l v e s . ) A n d y o u will s e e t h e log only i f y o u s e t o u t o n a d e l i b e r a t e a n d e f f o r t f u l q u e s t t o l o o k for it. Try this n o w : T h i n k of a r e c e n t i n t e r p e r s o n a l c o n f l i c t with s o m e o n e y o u c a r e a b o u t a n d t h e n f i n d o n e w a y i n w h i c h your b e h a v i o r w a s n o t exemplary. M a y b e y o u did s o m e t h i n g i n s e n s i t i v e ( e v e n if y o u h a d a right to do it), or h u r t f u l ( e v e n if y o u m e a n t well), or i n c o n s i s t e n t with y o u r p r i n c i p l e s ( e v e n t h o u g h y o u c a n readily j u s t i f y it). W h e n y o u first c a t c h s i g h t o f a f a u l t i n y o u r s e l f , you'll likely h e a r f r a n t i c a r g u m e n t s f r o m y o u r i n n e r l a w y e r e x c u s i n g y o u a n d b l a m i n g o t h e r s , but try not to listen. You a r e on a m i s s i o n to find at least o n e t h i n g that y o u did w r o n g . W h e n y o u e x t r a c t a s p l i n t e r it h u r t s , briefly, b u t t h e n y o u feel relief, e v e n p l e a s u r e . W h e n y o u f i n d a f a u l t in y o u r s e l f it will hurt, briefly, b u t if you k e e p g o i n g a n d a c k n o w l e d g e t h e f a u l t , you a r e likely to be r e w a r d e d with a f l a s h of p l e a s u r e that is m i x e d , oddly, with a hint of p r i d e . It is t h e p l e a s u r e of t a k i n g r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r y o u r o w n behavior. It is t h e f e e l i n g of honor. F i n d i n g fault with yourself is a l s o t h e key to o v e r c o m i n g t h e h y p o c r i s y a n d j u d g m e n t a l i s m that d a m a g e s o m a n y v a l u a b l e relationships. T h e i n s t a n t y o u s e e s o m e c o n t r i b u t i o n you m a d e t o a c o n f l i c t , your a n g e r s o f t e n s — m a y b e j u s t a bit, but e n o u g h that you might be a b l e to a c k n o w l e d g e s o m e m e r i t on t h e o t h e r s i d e . You c a n still b e l i e v e y o u a r e right a n d t h e o t h e r p e r s o n i s wrong, but if y o u c a n m o v e to believing that y o u a r e mostly right, a n d y o u r o p p o n e n t is mostly w r o n g , you have the b a s i s for an e f f e c t i v e a n d n o n h u m i l i a t i n g apology. You c a n t a k e a s m a l l p i e c e of t h e d i s a g r e e m e n t a n d say, "I s h o u l d not h a v e d o n e X, a n d I c a n s e e w h y y o u felt Y." T h e n , by t h e p o w e r of reciprocity, t h e other p e r s o n will likely feel a s t r o n g urge to say, " \ e s , I w a s really u p s e t by X. B u t I g u e s s I shouldn't have d o n e P, so I c a n s e e w h y y o u felt Q . " R e c i p r o c i t y a m p l i f i e d b y s e l f - s e r v i n g b i a s e s d r o v e you a p a r t b a c k w h e n y o u w e r e m a t c h i n g i n s u l t s o r hostile g e s t u r e s , but y o u c a n t u r n t h e p r o c e s s a r o u n d a n d u s e reciprocity to e n d a c o n f l i c t a n d s a v e a r e l a t i o n s h i p . T h e h u m a n mind may have been s h a p e d by evolutionary p r o c e s s e s to play M a c h i a v e l l i a n tit for tat, a n d i t s e e m s t o c o m e e q u i p p e d with c o g n i t i v e p r o c e s s e s that p r e d i s p o s e u s t o hypocrisy, s e l f - r i g h t e o u s n e s s , a n d m o r a l i s t i c

80

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

conflict. But s o m e t i m e s , by knowing the mind's structure a n d strategies, we c a n s t e p out of the a n c i e n t g a m e of social m a n i p u l a t i o n a n d e n t e r into a g a m e of our choosing. By s e e i n g the log in your own eye you c a n b e c o m e less biased, less moralistic, and therefore l e s s inclined toward a r g u m e n t and conflict. You can begin to follow the p e r f e c t way, the p a t h to h a p p i n e s s that leads through a c c e p t a n c e , which is the s u b j e c t of the next chapter.

The

Pursuit

of Happiness

Good men, at all times, surrender in truth all attachments. The holy s-pend not idle words on things of desire. When pleasure or pain comes to them, the rinse feel above pleasure and pain. — BUDDHA'

Do not seek to have events happen as you want them to, but instead want them to happen as they do happen, and your life will go well. — EPICTETUS2

I F M O N E Y O R P O W E R c o u l d buy h a p p i n e s s , t h e n the a u t h o r of t h e O l d T e s t a m e n t b o o k o f E c c l e s i a s t e s s h o u l d h a v e b e e n overjoyed. T h e text attribu t e s itself t o a king i n J e r u s a l e m , w h o l o o k s b a c k o n his life a n d his s e a r c h for h a p p i n e s s a n d f u l f i l l m e n t . H e tried a t o n e p o i n t t o " m a k e a t e s t o f p l e a s u r e , " by s e e k i n g h a p p i n e s s in his riches:

I m a d e great works; I built h o u s e s and p l a n t e d vineyards for myself; I m a d e myself gardens and parks, and planted in t h e m all kinds of fruit trees . . . I also had great p o s s e s s i o n s of herds and flocks, more than any who had b e e n b e f o r e me in J e r u s a l e m . I also gathered for myself silver

81

8 2

' I ' L L

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

and gold and the treasure of kings and of the provinces; I got singers, both men and women, and delights of the flesh, and many concubines. So I b e c a m e great arid surpassed all who were before me in J e r u s a l e m ; also my wisdom remained with me. Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. ( E C C L E S I A S T E S 2:4—10) B u t in what may be o n e of the earliest r e p o r t s of a m i d l i f e crisis, the author finds it all pointless: T h e n I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had spent in doing it, and again, all was vanity and a chasing after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun. ( E C C L E S I A S T E S 2 : 1 1 ) T h e author tells us about m a n y other a v e n u e s he p u r s u e d — h a r d work, learning, w i n e — b u t nothing brought satisfaction; nothing could banish the feeling that his life had no m o r e intrinsic worth or p u r p o s e than that of an animal. From the perspective of B u d d h a a n d the Stoic p h i l o s o p h e r E p i c t e tus, the author's problem is obvious: his pursuit of h a p p i n e s s . B u d d h i s m and S t o i c i s m teach that striving for external g o o d s , or to m a k e the world c o n f o r m to your wishes, is always a striving after wind. H a p p i n e s s c a n only be found within, by breaking a t t a c h m e n t s to external things and cultivating an attit u d e o f a c c e p t a n c e . (Stoics and B u d d h i s t s c a n h a v e relationships, j o b s , a n d p o s s e s s i o n s , but, to avoid b e c o m i n g upset u p o n losing t h e m , they m u s t not be emotionally attached.to them.) T h i s idea is of c o u r s e an extension of the truth of c h a p t e r 2: life itself is but what you d e e m it, and your mental state determines how you d e e m things. B u t r e c e n t r e s e a r c h in psychology sugg e s t s that B u d d h a a n d E p i c t e t u s may have t a k e n things too far. S o m e things are worth striving for, and h a p p i n e s s c o m e s in part f r o m o u t s i d e of yourself, if you know where to look.

T H E

P R O G R E S S

P R I N C I P L E

T h e author o f E c c l e s i a s t e s wasn't j u s t battling t h e f e a r o f m e a n i n g l e s s n e s s ; h e w a s battling the d i s a p p o i n t m e n t o f s u c c e s s . T h e p l e a s u r e o f g e t t i n g

The Pursuit of H A - p p i n e s s 9 I

w h a t y o u w a n t i s o f t e n f l e e t i n g . You d r e a m a b o u t g e t t i n g a p r o m o t i o n , b e i n g a c c e p t e d into a p r e s t i g i o u s s c h o o l , or f i n i s h i n g a big p r o j e c t . You w o r k every w a k i n g hour, p e r h a p s i m a g i n i n g h o w h a p p y you'd b e i f y o u c o u l d j u s t a c h i e v e that g o a l . T h e n y o u s u c c e e d , a n d i f you're l u c k y y o u g e t a n h o u r , m a y b e a day, o f e u p h o r i a , particularly i f y o u r s u c c e s s w a s u n e x p e c t e d a n d t h e r e w a s a m o m e n t in w h i c h it w a s r e v e a l e d (. . . t h e e n v e l o p e , p l e a s e ) . M o r e typically, however, y o u don't get a n y e u p h o r i a . W h e n s u c c e s s s e e m s i n c r e a s i n g l y p r o b a b l e a n d s o m e final e v e n t c o n f i r m s w h a t you a l r e a d y h a d begun to expect, the feeling is more one of relief—the pleasure of c l o s u r e a n d r e l e a s e . I n s u c h c i r c u m s t a n c e s , m y first t h o u g h t i s s e l d o m " H o o r a y ! F a n t a s t i c ! " ; it is "Okay, w h a t do I h a v e to do n o w ? " M y u n d e r j o y e d r e s p o n s e t o s u c c e s s turns o u t t o b e n o r m a l . A n d f r o m a n evolutionary point of view,-it's e v e n s e n s i b l e . A n i m a l s get a r u s h of d o p a m i n e , t h e p l e a s u r e neurotransmitter, w h e n e v e r they d o s o m e t h i n g that a d v a n c e s their evolutionary i n t e r e s t s a n d m o v e s t h e m a h e a d i n the g a m e o f life. F o o d a n d sex give p l e a s u r e , a n d that p l e a s u r e s e r v e s as a reinforcer (in b e h a v i o r i s t t e r m s ) that m o t i v a t e s later e f f o r t s t o f i n d f o o d a n d sex. For h u m a n s , h o w e v e r , t h e g a m e i s m o r e c o m p l e x . P e o p l e win a t t h e g a m e o f life b y a c h i e v i n g high status and a good reputation, cultivating friendships, finding the best m a t e ( s ) , a c c u m u l a t i n g r e s o u r c e s , a n d rearing their c h i l d r e n t o b e s u c c e s s f u l at the s a m e game. People have many goals a n d therefore m a n y s o u r c e s of p l e a s u r e . S q you'd think w e w o u l d receive a n e n o r m o u s ar\d long-lasting s h o t o f d o p a m i n e w h e n e v e r w e s u c c e e d a t a n i m p o r t a n t goal. B u t here's t h e trick with r e i n f o r c e m e n t : It works best w h e n it c o m e s s e c o n d s — n o t m i n u t e s or h o u r s — a f t e r t h e behavior. J u s t try training y o u r d o g to f e t c h by giving h i m a big s t e a k ten m i n u t e s after e a c h s u c c e s s f u l retrieval. I t can't b e d o n e . T h e e l e p h a n t w o r k s t h e s a m e w a y : It feels pleasure whenever it takes a step

in the right direction. T h e e l e p h a n t learns w h e n e v e r p l e a s u r e (or p a i n ) f o l l o w s i m m e d i a t e l y a f t e r behavior, but it h a s t r o u b l e c o n n e c t i n g s u c c e s s on F r i d a y with a c t i o n s i t t o o k o n M o n d a y . R i c h a r d D a v i d s o n , t h e p s y c h o l o g i s t w h o b r o u g h t u s a f f e c t i v e style a n d t h e a p p r o a c h circuits o f t h e front left c o r t e x , writes a b o u t two t y p e s o f positive a f f e c t . T h e first h e calls "pre-goal a t t a i n m e n t positive a f f e c t , " w h i c h i s the p l e a s u r a b l e feeling you get a s y o u m a k e p r o g r e s s toward a goal. T h e s e c o n d is called "post-goal a t t a i n m e n t p o s i t i v e affect," which Davidson says arises once you .have achieved s o m e t h i n g you

84

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

want. 3 You experience this latter feeling as c o n t e n t m e n t , as a short-lived feeling of release when the left prefrontal cortex r e d u c e s its activity after a goal h a s been achieved. In other words, when it c o m e s to goal pursuit, it really is the journey that c o u n t s , not the destination. S e t for yourself any goal you want. M o s t of the p l e a s u r e will be had a l o n g the way, with every s t e p that takes you closer. T h e final m o m e n t of s u c c e s s is often no more thrilling than the relief of taking off a heavy b a c k p a c k at the e n d of a long hike. If you went on the hike only to feel that pleasure, you are a fool. people s o m e t i m e s do just this. T h e y work hard at a task a n d expect s o m e special e u p h o r i a at the end. But when they achieve s u c c e s s and find only moderate a n d short-lived pleasure, they a s k (as the singer Peggy L e e o n c e did): Is that all there is? T h e y devalue their a c c o m p l i s h m e n t s as a striving after wind. We can call this "the progress principle": P l e a s u r e c o m e s m o r e from making progress toward goals than from a c h i e v i n g t h e m . S h a k e s p e a r e c a p t u r e d it perfectly: " T h i n g s won are d o n e ; joy's soul lies in the doing." 4

T H E

A D A P T A T I O N

P R I N C I P L E

If L gave you ten s e c o n d s to n a m e the very b e s t a n d very worst things that could ever h a p p e n to you, you might well c o m e up with t h e s e : winning a 20-million-dollar lottery j a c k p o t a n d b e c o m i n g paralyzed f r o m t h e n e c k d o w n . Winning the lottery would bring f r e e d o m from so m a n y c a r e s a n d limitations; it would e n a b l e you to p u r s u e your d r e a m s , help others, a n d live in comfort, so it ought to bring long-lasting h a p p i n e s s rather t h a n o n e serving of d o p a m i n e . L o s i n g the u s e of your body, on the other h a n d , would bring more limitations than life in prison. You'd have to give up on nearly all your goals a n d d r e a m s , forget a b o u t sex, a n d d e p e n d on other p e o p l e for help with eating a n d b a t h r o o m f u n c t i o n s . M a n y p e o p l e think they would rather be d e a d than paraplegic. But they a r e m i s t a k e n . Of course, it's better to win the lottery than to break your neck, but not by as m u c h as you'd think. B e c a u s e whatever h a p p e n s , you're likely to adapt to it, but you don't realize up front that you will. We are bad at " a f f e c t i v e forecasting," 5 that is, predicting how we'll feel in the future. We grossly overesti-

The Pursuit of Ha-ppiness 9 i m a t e t h e i n t e n s i t y a n d the d u r a t i o n o f o u r e m o t i o n a l r e a c t i o n s . W i t h i n a year, lottery w i n n e r s a n d p a r a p l e g i c s h a v e b o t h (on a v e r a g e ) r e t u r n e d m o s t o f the way to their b a s e l i n e levels of h a p p i n e s s . 6 T h e lottery w i n n e r b u y s a n e w h o u s e a n d a n e w car, quits her boring j o b , a n d e a t s better f o o d . S h e g e t s a kick out of the c o n t r a s t with her f o r m e r life, but within a f e w m o n t h s t h e contrast blurs a n d the pleasure fades. T h e h u m a n mind is extraordinarily sensitive to changes in c o n d i t i o n s , but not so sensitive to a b s o l u t e l e v e l s . T h e winner's p l e a s u r e c o m e s f r o m rising in w e a l t h , not f r o m s t a n d i n g still at a high level, a n d after a few m o n t h s the n e w c o m f o r t s h a v e b e c o m e t h e n e w b a s e l i n e o f daily life. T h e w i n n e r t a k e s t h e m for g r a n t e d a n d h a s n o w a y t o rise a n y further. E v e n w o r s e : T h e m o n e y m i g h t d a m a g e her r e l a t i o n s h i p s . F r i e n d s , relatives, s w i n d l e r s , a n d s o b b i n g s t r a n g e r s s w a r m a r o u n d l o t t e r y winners, s u i n g t h e m , s u c k i n g u p t o t h e m , d e m a n d i n g a s h a r e o f t h e w e a l t h . ( R e m e m b e r the ubiquity of self-serving b i a s e s ; e v e r y o n e c a n f i n d a r e a s o n to b e o w e d s o m e t h i n g . ) Lottery w i n n e r s a r e s o o f t e n h a r a s s e d that m a n y h a v e to m o v e , hide, e n d relationships, a n d finally turn to e a c h other, f o r m i n g lottery w i n n e r s u p p o r t g r o u p s to deal with their n e w d i f f i c u l t i e s . 7 (It s h o u l d be n o t e d , however, that nearly all lottery w i n n e r s a r e still glad that they w o n . ) At the other extreme, the quadriplegic takes a huge h a p p i n e s s loss up front. He thinks his life is over, a n d it h u r t s to give up everything he o n c e h o p e d for. B u t like the lottery winner, h i s m i n d i s s e n s i t i v e m o r e t o c h a n g e s t h a n t o a b s o l u t e levels, s o a f t e r a f e w m o n t h s h e h a s b e g u n a d a p t i n g t o his n e w s i t u a t i o n a n d i s setting m o r e m o d e s t goals. H e d i s c o v e r s that p h y s i c a l t h e r a p y c a n e x p a n d his abilities. H e h a s n o w h e r e t o g o b u t u p , a n d e a c h s t e p gives h i m the p l e a s u r e o f t h e p r o g r e s s p r i n c i p l e . T h e p h y s i c i s t S t e p h e n H a w k i n g h a s b e e n t r a p p e d in a shell of a b o d y s i n c e his early t w e n t i e s , w h e n h e w a s d i a g n o s e d with m o t o r n e u r o n e d i s e a s e . Yet h e w e n t o n t o s o l v e m a j o r p r o b l e m s i n c o s m o l o g y , win m a n y prizes, a n d write t h e b e s t - s e l l i n g s c i e n c e b o o k of all t i m e . D u r i n g a r e c e n t interview in the New York Times, h e w a s a s k e d h o w h e k e e p s his spirits u p . H e r e p l i e d : " M y e x p e c t a t i o n s were r e d u c e d to zero when I was twenty-one. Everything since t h e n h a s been a bonus."8 T h i s i s t h e a d a p t a t i o n p r i n c i p l e a t work: People's j u d g m e n t s a b o u t t h e i r present state are b a s e d on whether it is better or worse than the s t a t e to

86

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

which they have b e c o m e a c c u s t o m e d . 9 A d a p t a t i o n is, in part, j u s t a property of n e u r o n s : N e r v e cells r e s p o n d vigorously to n e w stimuli, b u t gradually they " h a b i t u a t e , " firing l e s s to stimuli that they h a v e b e c o m e u s e d to. It is change that contains vital information, not s t e a d y states. H u m a n beings, however, take adaptation to cognitive e x t r e m e s . We don't j u s t h a b i t u a t e , we recalibrate. We create for ourselves a world of targets, a n d e a c h time we hit one we replace it with another. A f t e r a string of s u c c e s s e s we a i m higher; after a m a s s i v e setback, s u c h as a broken n e c k , we a i m lower. I n s t e a d of following B u d d h i s t a n d Stoic advice to s u r r e n d e r a t t a c h m e n t s and let events h a p p e n , w e s u r r o u n d ourselves with g o a l s , h o p e s , a n d e x p e c t a t i o n s , a n d then feel p l e a s u r e and pain in relation to our p r o g r e s s . 1 0 W h e n w e c o m b i n e t h e a d a p t a t i o n p r i n c i p l e w i t h t h e d i s c o v e r y that people's average level of h a p p i n e s s is highly h e r i t a b l e , 1 1 we c o m e to a startling possibility: In the long run, it doesn't m u c h m a t t e r what h a p p e n s to you. G o o d f o r t u n e or b a d , you will always return to your h a p p i n e s s setp o i n t — y o u r brain's d e f a u l t level o f h a p p i n e s s — w h i c h w a s d e t e r m i n e d largely b y y o u r g e n e s . I n 1 7 5 9 , l o n g b e f o r e a n y o n e k n e w a b o u t g e n e s , A d a m S m i t h r e a c h e d the s a m e c o n c l u s i o n : % In every permanent situation, where there is no expectation of change, the mind of every man, in a longer or shorter time, returns to its natural and usual state of tranquility. In prosperity, after a certain time, it falls back to that state; in adversity, after a certain time, it rises up to it. 1 2 If this idea is correct, then we are all s t u c k on w h a t h a s b e e n c a l l e d the " h e d o n i c treadmill." 1 3 O n a n exercise treadmill you c a n i n c r e a s e the s p e e d all you want, but you stay in the s a m e p l a c e . In life, you c a n work as hard as you want, and a c c u m u l a t e all the riches, fruit trees, a n d c o n c u b i n e s you want, but you can't get a h e a d . B e c a u s e you can't c h a n g e your "natural and usual state of tranquility," the riches you a c c u m u l a t e will j u s t raise your exp e c t a t i o n s a n d leave you no better off than you w e r e b e f o r e . Yet, not realizing the futility of our e f f o r t s , we c o n t i n u e to strive, all the w h i l e d o i n g things that help us win at the g a m e of life. Always w a n t i n g m o r e than we have, we run and run and run, like h a m s t e r s on a w h e e l .

The Pursuit A N

E A R L Y

H A P P I N E S S

of Ha-ppiness

9

i

H Y P O T H E S I S

B u d d h a , E p i c t e t u s , a n d m a n y o t h e r s a g e s s a w t h e futility o f t h e rat r a c e and urged people to quit. T h e y proposed a particular h a p p i n e s s hypothesis: Happiness comes from within,

and it cannot

he found by making

the world

conform to your desires. B u d d h i s m t e a c h e s that a t t a c h m e n t l e a d s i n e v i t a b l y t o s u f f e r i n g a n d o f f e r s t o o l s for b r e a k i n g a t t a c h m e n t s . T h e S t o i c p h i l o s o p h e r s o f A n c i e n t G r e e c e , s u c h a s E p i c t e t u s , t a u g h t their f o l l o w e r s t o f o c u s only o n w h a t they c o u l d fully c o n t r o l , w h i c h m e a n t p r i m a r i l y t h e i r o w n t h o u g h t s a n d r e a c t i o n s . All o t h e r e v e n t s — t h e g i f t s a n d c u r s e s o f f o r t u n e — were externals, and the true Stoic was u n a f f e c t e d by externals. N e i t h e r B u d d h a nor t h e S t o i c s u r g e d p e o p l e t o w i t h d r a w into a c a v e . I n fact, both doctrines have such enduring appeal precisely b e c a u s e they offer g u i d a n c e on how to find p e a c e and h a p p i n e s s while participating in a t r e a c h e r o u s a n d e v e r - c h a n g i n g social world. B o t h d o c t r i n e s a r e b a s e d o n a n e m p i r i c a l c l a i m , a h a p p i n e s s h y p o t h e s i s that a s s e r t s that striving to o b t a i n g o o d s a n d g o a l s i n t h e external world c a n n o t b r i n g you m o r e t h a n m o m e n tary h a p p i n e s s . You m u s t w o r k on your internal world. If t h e h y p o t h e s i s is true, it h a s p r o f o u n d i m p l i c a t i o n s for h o w we s h o u l d live o u r lives, r a i s e o u r c h i l d r e n , a n d s p e n d o u r money. B u t is it t r u e ? It all d e p e n d s on w h a t k i n d of e x t e r n a l s w e a r e talking a b o u t . T h e second biggest finding in happiness research, after the strong influe n c e of g e n e s u p o n a person's a v e r a g e level of -happiness, is that m o s t e n v i r o n m e n t a l a n d d e m o g r a p h i c f a c t o r s i n f l u e n c e h a p p i n e s s very little. T r y t o i m a g i n e yourself c h a n g i n g p l a c e s with either B o b or Mary. B o b is thirty-five years old, single, w h i t e , attractive, a n d athletic: H e e a r n s $ 1 0 0 , 0 0 0 a y e a r a n d lives i n s u n n y S o u t h e r n C a l i f o r n i a . H e i s highly i n t e l l e c t u a l , a n d h e s p e n d s his f r e e t i m e r e a d i n g a n d g o i n g t o m u s e u m s . M a r y a n d h e r h u s b a n d live i n s n o w y B u f f a l o , N e w York, w h e r e t h e y e a r n a c o m b i n e d i n c o m e o f $ 4 0 , 0 0 0 . M a r y i s sixty-five years old, b l a c k , overweight, a n d plain i n a p p e a r a n c e . S h e i s highly s o c i a b l e , a n d s h e s p e n d s h e r f r e e t i m e m o s t l y i n activities r e l a t e d t o h e r c h u r c h . S h e i s o n dialysis for kidney p r o b l e m s . B o b s e e m s to h a v e it all, a n d f e w r e a d e r s of this b o o k w o u l d p r e f e r Mary's life to h i s . Yet if y o u h a d to bet on it, you s h o u l d bet that M a r y is h a p p i e r t h a n B o b .

88

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

What Mary has that Bob lacks are strong c o n n e c t i o n s . A good marriage is one of the life-factors most strongly and c o n s i s t e n t l y a s s o c i a t e d with happiness. 1 4 Part of this apparent benefit c o m e s from "reverse correlation": H a p p i n e s s c a u s e s marriage. H a p p y p e o p l e marry sooner and stay married longer than people with a lower h a p p i n e s s setpoint, both b e c a u s e they are more appealing as dating partners and b e c a u s e they are easier to live with as s p o u s e s . 1 5 But much of the apparent benefit is a real and lasting benefit of dependable companionship, which is a basic n e e d ; we never fully a d a p t either to it or to its a b s e n c e . 1 6 Mary also has religion, and religious people are happier, on average, than nonreligious p e o p l e . 1 7 This e f f e c t arises from the social ties that c o m e with participation in a religious community, as well as from feeling c o n n e c t e d to s o m e t h i n g beyond the self. What Bob has going for him is a string of objective advantages in power, status, freedom, health, and sunshine—all of which are subject to the adaptation principle. White Americans are freed from many of the hassles and indignities that affect black Americans, yet, on average, they are only very slightly happier. 1 8 Men have more freedom and power than women, yet they are not on average any happier. (Women experience more depression, but also more intense joy). 1 9 T h e young have so much more to look forward to than the elderly, yet ratings of life satisfaction actually rise slightly with age, up to age sixty-five, and, in some studies, well beyond. 2 0 People are often surprised to hear that the old are happier than the young b e c a u s e the old have so many more health problems, yet people adapt to most chronic health problems such as Mary's 21 (although ailments that grow progressively worse do reduce well-being, and a recent study finds that adaptation to disability is not, on average, complete). 2 2 People who live in cold climates expect people who live in California to be happier, but they are wrong. 2 3 People believe that attractive people ate happier than unattractive people, 2 4 but they, too, are wrong. 2 5 T h e one thing Bob does have going for him is wealth, but here the story is complicated. T h e most widely reported c o n c l u s i o n , from surveys d o n e by psychologist Ed Diener, 2 6 is that within any given country, at the lowest end of the income scale money does buy h a p p i n e s s : People who worry every day about paying for food and shelter report significantly less well-being than those who don't. But o n c e you are freed from basic needs and have entered

The Pursuit of Ha-ppiness 9 i the middle class, the relationship between wealth and h a p p i n e s s b e c o m e s smaller. T h e rich a r e h a p p i e r o n a v e r a g e t h a n t h e m i d d l e c l a s s , b u t o n l y b y a little, a n d part o f this r e l a t i o n s h i p i s r e v e r s e c o r r e l a t i o n : H a p p y p e o p l e grow rich f a s t e r b e c a u s e , a s i n t h e m a r r i a g e m a r k e t , they a r e m o r e a p p e a l ing to others (such as b o s s e s ) , and also b e c a u s e their f r e q u e n t positive emotions help them to commit to projects, to work hard, and to invest in their f u t u r e s . 2 7 W e a l t h itself h a s only a s m a l l d i r e c t e f f e c t o n h a p p i n e s s b e c a u s e it so effectively s p e e d s up the hedonic treadmill. For e x a m p l e , as the level of w e a l t h h a s d o u b l e d or tripled in t h e last fifty y e a r s in m a n y i n d u s trialized nations, the levels of h a p p i n e s s a n d s a t i s f a c t i o n with life that p e o p l e report h a v e not c h a n g e d , a n d d e p r e s s i o n h a s a c t u a l l y b e c o m e m o r e c o m m o n . 2 8 Vast i n c r e a s e s i n gross d o m e s t i c p r o d u c t led t o i m p r o v e m e n t s i n t h e c o m f o r t s o f l i f e — a larger h o m e , m o r e c a r s , t e l e v i s i o n s , a n d r e s t a u rant m e a l s , b e t t e r h e a l t h a n d longer l i f e — b u t t h e s e i m p r o v e m e n t s b e c a m e t h e n o r m a l c o n d i t i o n s o f life; all w e r e a d a p t e d t o a n d t a k e n for g r a n t e d , s o they did not m a k e p e o p l e f e e l any h a p p i e r o r m o r e s a t i s f i e d . T h e s e f i n d i n g s w o u l d h a v e p l e a s e d B u d d h a a n d E p i c t e t u s — i f , t h a t is, they found p l e a s u r e in s u c h external events as being proved right. As in their day, p e o p l e t o d a y d e v o t e t h e m s e l v e s t o t h e p u r s u i t o f g o a l s t h a t w o n ' t m a k e t h e m h a p p i e r , i n t h e p r o c e s s n e g l e c t i n g t h e sort o f i n n e r g r o w t h a n d spiritual d e v e l o p m e n t that c o u l d bring l a s t i n g s a t i s f a c t i o n . O n e o f t h e m o s t c o n s i s t e n t l e s s o n s t h e a n c i e n t s a g e s t e a c h i s t o let g o , s t o p s t r i v i n g , a n d c h o o s e a n e w p a t h . T u r n i n w a r d s , o r t o w a r d G o d , but for G o d ' s s a k e s t o p trying to m a k e t h e w o r l d c o n f o r m to y o u r will. T h e Bhagavad Gita is a H i n d u treatise on n o n a t t a c h m e n t . In a section on " h u m a n devils," the god K r i s h n a d e s c r i b e s h u m a n i t y ' s lower n a t u r e a n d t h e p e o p l e w h o g i v e i n t o it: " B o u n d by hundreds of fetters forged by hope, o b s e s s e d by anger a n d desire, they s e e k t o b u i l d u p w e a l t h u n j u s t l y t o s a t i s f y their l u s t s . " 2 9 K r i s h n a t h e n p a r o d i e s t h e t h i n k i n g of s u c h a devil: T h i s have I gained today, this whim I'll satisfy; this wealth is m i n e a n d m u c h more too will b e m i n e a s time g o e s on. H e w a s a n e n e m y o f m i n e , I've killed him, a n d many another too I'll kill. I'm m a s t e r here. I t a k e my p l e a s u r e as I will. I'm strong and h a p p y a n d s u c c e s s f u l .

90

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

S u b s t i t u t e " d e f e a t " for "kill" a n d you h a v e a pretty g o o d d e s c r i p t i o n of the modern Western ideal, at least in s o m e corners of the b u s i n e s s world. So even if B o b were j u s t as h a p p y as Mary, if he h a s an arrogant, entitled attitude and treats p e o p l e badly, his life w o u l d still be spiritually a n d aesthetically worse.

T H E

H A P P I N E S S

F O R M U L A

In the 1 9 9 0 s , the two big findings of h a p p i n e s s research (strong relation to g e n e s , w e a k relation t o e n v i r o n m e n t ) hit the p s y c h o l o g i c a l c o m m u n i t y hard, b e c a u s e they a p p l i e d not j u s t to h a p p i n e s s b u t to m o s t a s p e c t s of personality. Psychologists s i n c e F r e u d h a d s h a r e d a nearly religious devotion to the idea that personality is s h a p e d primarily by c h i l d h o o d environment. T h i s axiom w a s taken on faith: T h e e v i d e n c e for it c o n s i s t e d a l m o s t entirely o f c o r r e l a t i o n s — u s u a l l y small o n e s — b e t w e e n w h a t p a r e n t s did and how their children turned out, a n d a n y o n e w h o s u g g e s t e d that t h e s e correlations were c a u s e d by g e n e s w a s d i s m i s s e d as a r e d u c t i o n i s t . But as twin s t u d i e s revealed the a w e s o m e r e a c h of g e n e s and the relative unimp o r t a n c e of the family e n v i r o n m e n t that siblings s h a r e , 3 0 the a n c i e n t happ i n e s s hypothesis grew ever m o r e p l a u s i b l e . M a y b e there really is a set point 3 1 fixed into every brain, like a t h e r m o s t a t set forever to 58 d e g r e e s Fahrenheit (for d e p r e s s i v e s ) or 75 d e g r e e s (for h a p p y p e o p l e ) ? M a y b e the only way to find h a p p i n e s s therefore is to c h a n g e one's own internal setting (for example, through meditation, Prozac, or cognitive therapy) i n s t e a d of c h a n g i n g one's e n v i r o n m e n t ? As psychologists w r e s t l e d with -these i d e a s , however, a n d as biologists worked out the first sketch of the h u m a n g e n o m e , a more sophisticated understanding of nature a n d nurture began to emerge. \fes, g e n e s explain far more about us than anyone h a d realized, b u t the g e n e s t h e m s e l v e s often turn out to be sensitive to environmental c o n d i t i o n s . 3 2 A n d yes, e a c h p e r s o n has a characteristic level of h a p p i n e s s , but it now looks as though it's not so m u c h a set point as a potential range or probability distribution. W h e t h e r you operate on the high or the low side of your potential range is d e t e r m i n e d by many factors that B u d d h a and E p i c t e t u s would have considered externals.

The Pursuit of Ha-ppiness

9 I

W h e n Martin Seligman f o u n d e d positive psychology in the late 1 9 9 0 s , o n e of his first m o v e s w a s to bring together small g r o u p s of e x p e r t s to tackle specific problems. O n e group w a s created to study the externals that m a t t e r for h a p p i n e s s . T h r e e p s y c h o l o g i s t s , S o n j a L y u b o m i r s k y , K e n S h e l don, and David S c h k a d e , reviewed the available evidence and realized that t h e r e a r e t w o f u n d a m e n t a l l y d i f f e r e n t k i n d s o f e x t e r n a l s : t h e conditions o f your life a n d the voluntary activities that y o u u n d e r t a k e . 3 3 C o n d i t i o n s inc l u d e f a c t s a b o u t y o u r life that y o u can't c h a n g e ( r a c e , sex, a g e , d i s a b i l i t y ) a s well a s t h i n g s that you c a n ( w e a l t h , marital s t a t u s , w h e r e y o u live). C o n d i t i o n s a r e c o n s t a n t over t i m e , a t l e a s t d u r i n g a p e r i o d i n y o u r life, a n d s o they a r e t h e s o r t s o f things that y o u a r e likely t o a d a p t to. V o l u n t a r y activities, o n t h e o t h e r h a n d , a r e t h e things that y o u choose t o d o , s u c h a s m e d i tation, e x e r c i s e , l e a r n i n g a n e w skill, o r t a k i n g a v a c a t i o n . B e c a u s e s u c h activities m u s t b e c h o s e n , a n d b e c a u s e m o s t o f t h e m t a k e e f f o r t a n d a t t e n tion, t h e y can't j u s t d i s a p p e a r f r o m y o u r a w a r e n e s s t h e w a y c o n d i t i o n s c a n . Voluntary a c t i v i t i e s , t h e r e f o r e , o f f e r m u c h g r e a t e r p r o m i s e for i n c r e a s i n g happiness while avoiding adaptation effects. O n e of the most important ideas in positive psychology is what Lyubomirsky, S h e l d o n , S c h k a d e , a n d S e l i g m a n call t h e " h a p p i n e s s f o r m u l a : " H = S + C + V T h e level o f h a p p i n e s s that y o u a c t u a l l y e x p e r i e n c e ( H ) i s d e t e r m i n e d b y your biological s e t p o i n t ( S ) p l u s t h e c o n d i t i o n s o f y o u r life ( C ) p l u s t h e v o l u n t a r y activities (V) y o u d o . 3 4 T h e c h a l l e n g e for p o s i t i v e p s y c h o l o g y i s t o u s e the scientific m e t h o d to find out exactly what kinds of C a n d V c a n p u s h H u p t o the t o p o f y o u r p o t e n t i a l r a n g e . T h e e x t r e m e b i o l o g i c a l vers i o n of t h e h a p p i n e s s h y p o t h e s i s s a y s t h a t H = S, a n d that C a n d V don't m a t t e r . B u t w e h a v e t o give B u d d h a a n d E p i c t e t u s c r e d i t for V b e c a u s e B u d d h a prescribed the "eightfold noble path" (including meditation and m i n d f u l n e s s ) , a n d E p i c t e t u s u r g e d m e t h o d s o f t h o u g h t t o c u l t i v a t e indiff e r e n c e (apatheia) t o e x t e r n a l s . S o t o t e s t t h e w i s d o m o f t h e s a g e s p r o p e r l y we m u s t e x a m i n e this h y p o t h e s i s : H = S + V, w h e r e V = v o l u n t a r y or i n t e n tional a c t i v i t i e s t h a t c u l t i v a t e a c c e p t a n c e a n d w e a k e n e m o t i o n a l a t t a c h m e n t s . If there are m a n y conditions ( C ) that matter, a n d if t h e r e are a

92

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

variety of voluntary activities beyond t h o s e a i m e d at n o n a t t a c h m e n t , then the h a p p i n e s s h y p o t h e s i s o f B u d d h a a n d E p i c t e t u s i s wrong a n d p e o p l e would be poorly advised simply to look within. It turns out that there really are s o m e external c o n d i t i o n s ( C ) that matter. T h e r e are s o m e c h a n g e s you c a n m a k e in your life that are not fully s u b j e c t to the a d a p t a t i o n principle, a n d that m i g h t m a k e you lastingly happier. It may be worth striving to a c h i e v e t h e m . Noise. W h e n I'lived in P h i l a d e l p h i a , I l e a r n e d a v a l u a b l e l e s s o n a b o u t real e s t a t e : If you m u s t buy a h o u s e on a b u s y s t r e e t , don't buy o n e within thirty yards of a traffic light. Every ninety-five s e c o n d s I h a d to listen to forty-two s e c o n d s o f s e v e r a l p e o p l e ' s m u s i c a l s e l e c t i o n s f o l l o w e d b y twelve s e c o n d s of e n g i n e s revving, with an i m p a t i e n t h o n k thrown in o n c e every f i f t e e n cycles. I never got u s e d to it, a n d w h e n my w i f e a n d I were looking for a h o u s e in C h a r l o t t e s v i l l e , I told o u r a g e n t that if a Victorian m a n s i o n were b e i n g given away on a b u s y s t r e e t , I would not t a k e it. Res e a r c h s h o w s that p e o p l e w h o m u s t a d a p t t o n e w a n d c h r o n i c s o u r c e s o f noise ( s u c h as w h e n a n e w highway is built) n e v e r fully a d a p t , a n d even s t u d i e s that f i n d s o m e a d a p t a t i o n still f i n d e v i d e n c e o f i m p a i r m e n t o n cognitive tasks. N o i s e , e s p e c i a l l y n o i s e that is variable or i n t e r m i t t e n t , interferes with c o n c e n t r a t i o n a n d i n c r e a s e s s t r e s s . 3 5 It's.worth striving to rem o v e s o u r c e s of n o i s e in your life. Commuting. M a n y p e o p l e c h o o s e to m o v e f a r t h e r away f r o m their j o b s in search of a larger h o u s e . B u t although p e o p l e quickly a d a p t to having m o r e s p a c e , 3 6 they don't fully a d a p t to the longer c o m m u t e , particularly if it inv o l v e s driving i n h e a v y t r a f f i c . 3 7 E v e n a f t e r y e a r s o f c o m m u t i n g , t h o s e w h o s e c o m m u t e s are traffic-filled still arrive at work with higher levels of s t r e s s h o r m o n e s . (Driving u n d e r ideal c o n d i t i o n s is, however, o f t e n enjoya b l e a n d relaxing.) 3 8 It's worth striving to i m p r o v e your c o m m u t e . Lack of control. O n e of the active ingredients of noise a n d traffic, the asp e c t that helps them get u n d e r your skin, is that you can't control t h e m . In one classic study, David G l a s s a n d J e r o m e S i n g e r e x p o s e d p e o p l e to loud bursts of random noise. S u b j e c t s in o n e g r o u p w e r e told they c o u l d termi-

The Pursuit of Ha-ppiness 9 i n a t e t h e n o i s e by p r e s s i n g a b u t t o n , b u t they w e r e a s k e d n o t to p r e s s t h e button unless it was absolutely necessary. N o n e of these subjects p r e s s e d t h e b u t t o n , yet t h e b e l i e f that they h a d s o m e f o r m o f c o n t r o l m a d e t h e n o i s e l e s s d i s t r e s s i n g t o t h e m . I n the s e c o n d p a r t o f t h e e x p e r i m e n t , t h e s u b j e c t s w h o t h o u g h t they h a d control w e r e m o r e p e r s i s t e n t w h e n w o r k i n g o n difficult puzzles, but the subjects who had experienced noise without control g a v e u p m o r e easily. 3 9 I n a n o t h e r f a m o u s study, E l l e n L a n g e r a n d J u d i t h R o d i n g a v e b e n e f i t s t o r e s i d e n t s o n t w o f l o o r s o f a n u r s i n g h o m e — f o r e x a m p l e , p l a n t s i n their r o o m s , a n d a m o v i e s c r e e n i n g o n e n i g h t a w e e k . B u t o n o n e floor, t h e s e b e n e f i t s c a m e with a s e n s e o f control: T h e r e s i d e n t s w e r e a l l o w e d t o c h o o s e w h i c h p l a n t s they w a n t e d , a n d they w e r e r e s p o n s i b l e f o r w a t e r i n g t h e m . T h e y w e r e a l l o w e d t o c h o o s e a s a g r o u p w h i c h night w o u l d b e m o v i e night. O n t h e o t h e r floor, t h e s a m e b e n e f i t s w e r e s i m p l y d o l e d o u t : T h e n u r s e s c h o s e the plants a n d watered them; the n u r s e s d e c i d e d which night was m o v i e night. T h i s s m a l l m a n i p u l a t i o n h a d b i g e f f e c t s : O n t h e f l o o r w i t h i n c r e a s e d c o n t r o l , r e s i d e n t s w e r e h a p p i e r , m o r e active, a n d m o r e alert (as rated b y t h e n u r s e s , not j u s t b y the r e s i d e n t s ) , a n d t h e s e b e n e f i t s w e r e still v i s i b l e e i g h t e e n m o n t h s later. M o s t a m a z i n g l y , a t t h e e i g h t e e n - m o n t h follow-up, r e s i d e n t s o f the floor given control h a d b e t t e r h e a l t h a n d h a l f a s m a n y d e a t h s ( 1 5 p e r c e n t v e r s u s 3 0 p e r c e n t ) . 4 0 I n a review p a p e r that R o d i n a n d I wrote, we c o n c l u d e d that c h a n g i n g an institution's e n v i r o n m e n t to inc r e a s e t h e s e n s e o f control a m o n g its w o r k e r s , s t u d e n t s , p a t i e n t s , o r o t h e r u s e r s w a s o n e o f t h e m o s t e f f e c t i v e p o s s i b l e w a y s t o i n c r e a s e their s e n s e o f e n g a g e m e n t , energy, a n d h a p p i n e s s . 4 1 Shame. -Overall, attractive p e o p l e a r e n o t h a p p i e r t h a n u n a t t r a c t i v e o n e s . Yet, surprisingly, s o m e i m p r o v e m e n t s in a p e r s o n ' s a p p e a r a n c e do l e a d to lasting i n c r e a s e s i n h a p p i n e s s . 4 2 P e o p l e w h o u n d e r g o p l a s t i c s u r g e r y r e p o r t (on a v e r a g e ) high levels of s a t i s f a c t i o n with the p r o c e s s , a n d they e v e n report i n c r e a s e s i n t h e quality o f their lives a n d d e c r e a s e s i n p s y c h i a t r i c s y m p t o m s ( s u c h a s d e p r e s s i o n a n d anxiety) i n t h e y e a r s a f t e r t h e o p e r a t i o n . T h e biggest g a i n s w e r e r e p o r t e d for b r e a s t surgery, both e n l a r g e m e n t a n d r e d u c tion. I think t h e w a y t o u n d e r s t a n d t h e long-lasting e f f e c t s o f s u c h s e e m ingly s h a l l o w c h a n g e s i s t o think a b o u t the p o w e r o f s h a m e i n e v e r y d a y life.

94

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

Young w o m e n w h o s e breasts are m u c h larger or smaller than their ideal often report feeling s e l f - c o n s c i o u s n e s s every day a b o u t their b o d i e s . M a n y adj u s t their posture or their wardrobe in an a t t e m p t to hide what they s e e as a personal deficiency. B e i n g f r e e d from s u c h a daily b u r d e n m a y l e a d to a lasting increase in s e l f - c o n f i d e n c e and well-being. Relationships. T h e condition that is usually s a i d 4 3 to t r u m p all others iri i m p o r t a n c e is t h e strength a n d n u m b e r of a p e r s o n ' s r e l a t i o n s h i p s . G o o d relationships m a k e p e o p l e happy, a n d h a p p y p e o p l e enjoy m o r e a n d better relationships than u n h a p p y p e o p l e . 4 4 T h i s e f f e c t is so i m p o r t a n t a n d intere s t i n g that it g e t s its own c h a p t e r — t h e next o n e . For now, I'll j u s t mention that c o n f l i c t s in r e l a t i o n s h i p s — h a v i n g an a n n o y i n g o f f i c e m a t e or roomm a t e , o r having c h r o n i c c o n f l i c t with your s p o u s e — i s o n e o f t h e surest ways to r e d u c e your h a p p i n e s s . You never a d a p t to interpersonal c o n f l i c t ; 4 5 it d a m a g e s every day, even days w h e n you don't s e e the other p e r s o n but r u m i n a t e a b o u t the conflict n o n e t h e l e s s . T h e r e are m a n y other ways in which you c a n i n c r e a s e your h a p p i n e s s by getting the c o n d i t i o n s of your life right, particularly in r e l a t i o n s h i p s , work, a n d the degree of control you have over s t r e s s o r s . So in the h a p p i n e s s form u l a , C is real a n d s o m e externals matter. S o m e things are worth striving for, and positive p s y c h o l o g y c a n h e l p i d e n t i f y t h e m . O f c o u r s e , B u d d h a would a d a p t fully to noise, traffic, lack of control a n d bodily d e f i c i e n c i e s , but it has always b e e n difficult, even in a n c i e n t India, for real p e o p l e to bec o m e like B u d d h a . In the m o d e r n W e s t e r n world, it is even h a r d e r to follow B u d d h a ' s p a t h o f n o n d o i n g a n d n o n s t r i v i n g . S o m e o f o u r p o e t s a n d writers in f a c t urge us to f o r s w e a r that p a t h a n d e m b r a c e a c t i o n wholeheartedly: "It is vain to say that h u m a n b e i n g s o u g h t to be s a t i s f i e d with tranquility: they m u s t have action; a n d they will m a k e it if they c a n n o t find it." ( C H A R L O T T E B R O N T E , 1 8 4 7 ) 4 6

F I N D I N G

F L O W

N o t all action, however, will work. C h a s i n g a f t e r wealth a n d prestige, for e x a m p l e , will usually backfire. People w h o report the g r e a t e s t interest in

The Pursuit of Ha-ppiness 9 i a t t a i n i n g money, f a m e , o r b e a u t y a r e c o n s i s t e n t l y f o u n d t o b e l e s s happy, a n d e v e n l e s s healthy, t h a n t h o s e w h o p u r s u e l e s s m a t e r i a l i s t i c g o a l s . 4 7 S o w h a t is t h e right kind of activity? W h a t is V in t h e h a p p i n e s s f o r m u l a ? T h e tool that h e l p e d p s y c h o l o g i s t s a n s w e r that q u e s t i o n i s t h e " e x p e r i e n c e s a m p l i n g m e t h o d , " invented b y Mihalyi C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i ( p r o n o u n c e d " c h e e k s sent m e high"), t h e H u n g a r i a n - b o r n c o f o u n d e r o f p o s i t i v e p s y c h o l ogy. I n C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i ' s s t u d i e s , 4 8 p e o p l e carry with t h e m a p a g e r t h a t b e e p s several t i m e s a day. At e a c h b e e p , t h e s u b j e c t p u l l s o u t a s m a l l n o t e b o o k a n d r e c o r d s w h a t s h e i s d o i n g a t that m o m e n t , a n d h o w m u c h s h e i s enjoying it. T h r o u g h this " b e e p i n g " o f t h o u s a n d s o f p e o p l e t e n s o f t h o u s a n d s o f t i m e s , C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i f o u n d o u t w h a t p e o p l e really e n j o y d o i n g , not j u s t w h a t they remember having e n j o y e d . H e d i s c o v e r e d that t h e r e a r e t w o differe n t k i n d s o f e n j o y m e n t . O n e i s physical o r bodily p l e a s u r e . A t m e a l t i m e s , p e o p l e report t h e h i g h e s t levels o f h a p p i n e s s , o n a v e r a g e . P e o p l e really enjoy e a t i n g , e s p e c i a l l y i n t h e c o m p a n y o f o t h e r s , a n d they h a t e t o b e i n t e r r u p t e d by telephone calls (and perhaps Csikszentmihalyi's beeps) during m e a l s , or (worst of all) d u r i n g sex. B u t you can't enjoy p h y s i c a l p l e a s u r e all d a y long. By their very n a t u r e , f o o d a n d sex satiate. To c o n t i n u e e a t i n g or h a v i n g sex b e y o n d a certain level of s a t i s f a c t i o n c a n lead to d i s g u s t . 4 9 C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i ' s big discovery is that there is a s t a t e m a n y p e o p l e v a l u e e v e n m o r e t h a n c h o c o l a t e a f t e r sex. I t i s t h e s t a t e o f total i m m e r s i o n in a t a s k that is c h a l l e n g i n g yet c l o s e l y m a t c h e d to o n e ' s a b i l i t i e s . It is w h a t p e o p l e s o m e t i m e s call " b e i n g i n t h e z o n e . " C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i c a l l e d i t " f l o w " b e c a u s e i t o f t e n f e e l s like e f f o r t l e s s m o v e m e n t : F l o w h a p p e n s , a n d y o u g o with it. F l o w o f t e n o c c u r s d u r i n g p h y s i c a l m o v e m e n t — s k i i n g , d r i v i n g f a s t on a curvy c o u n t r y r o a d , or p l a y i n g t e a m s p o r t s . F l o w is a i d e d by m u s i c or b y t h e a c t i o n o f o t h e r p e o p l e , both o f w h i c h p r o v i d e a t e m p o r a l s t r u c t u r e for one's o w n b e h a v i o r (for e x a m p l e , s i n g i n g in a choir, d a n c i n g , or j u s t havi n g a n i n t e n s e c o n v e r s a t i o n with a f r i e n d ) . A n d f l o w c a n h a p p e n d u r i n g solitary c r e a t i v e a c t i v i t i e s , s u c h a s p a i n t i n g , writing, o r p h o t o g r a p h y . T h e keys to flow: There's a clear challenge that fully e n g a g e s your attention; you h a v e t h e skills t o m e e t t h e c h a l l e n g e ; a n d you g e t i m m e d i a t e f e e d b a c k a b o u t h o w y o u a r e d o i n g a t e a c h s t e p ( t h e p r o g r e s s p r i n c i p l e ) . You g e t f l a s h a f t e r f l a s h o f p o s i t i v e f e e l i n g with e a c h turn n e g o t i a t e d , e a c h h i g h n o t e correctly s u n g , o r e a c h b r u s h s t r o k e t h a t falls into t h e right p l a c e . I n t h e f l o w

96

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

experience, elephant and rider are in p e r f e c t harmony. T h e e l e p h a n t (autom a t i c p r o c e s s e s ) is d o i n g m o s t of the work, r u n n i n g s m o o t h l y through the forest, while the rider ( c o n s c i o u s t h o u g h t ) is c o m p l e t e l y a b s o r b e d in looking out for p r o b l e m s a n d o p p o r t u n i t i e s , h e l p i n g w h e r e v e r he c a n . D r a w i n g on Csiksz.entmihalyi's work, S e l i g m a n p r o p o s e s a f u n d a m e n t a l distinction b e t w e e n p l e a s u r e s a n d g r a t i f i c a t i o n s . P l e a s u r e s a r e " d e l i g h t s that have clear sensory and strong e m o t i o n a l c o m p o n e n t s , " 5 0 s u c h a s m a y b e derived from f o o d , sex, b a c k r u b s , a n d c o o l b r e e z e s . G r a t i f i c a t i o n s are activities that e n g a g e you fully, draw on your s t r e n g t h s , a n d allow you to lose s e l f - c o n s c i o u s n e s s . G r a t i f i c a t i o n s c a n l e a d to flow. S e l i g m a n p r o p o s e s that V (voluntary activities) is largely a m a t t e r of arranging your day a n d your environment to i n c r e a s e both p l e a s u r e s a n d gratifications. P l e a s u r e s m u s t be s p a c e d to maintain their potency. E a t i n g a quart of i c e c r e a m in an afternoon or listening to a new CD ten t i m e s in a row are g o o d ways to overdose and d e a d e n yourself to f u t u r e p l e a s u r e . Here's w h e r e t h e rider has an important role to play: B e c a u s e the e l e p h a n t h a s a t e n d e n c y to overindulge, the rider n e e d s to e n c o u r a g e it to get up a n d m o v e on to another activity. Pleasures should b e b o t h savored a n d varied. T h e F r e n c h know how t o do this: T h e y eat m a n y fatty f o o d s , yet they e n d up thinner a n d healthier than Americans, and they derive a great deal m o r e p l e a s u r e f r o m their food by eating slowly a n d paying m o r e attention to the food as they eat it. 5 1 Bec a u s e they savor, they ultimately eat l e s s . A m e r i c a n s , in c o n t r a s t , shovel e n o r m o u s servings of high-fat a n d high-carbohydrate food into their m o u t h s while doing other things. T h e F r e n c h a l s o vary their p l e a s u r e by serving many small c o u r s e s ; A m e r i c a n s are s e d u c e d by restaurants that serve large portions. Variety is the s p i c e of life b e c a u s e it is the natural e n e m y of adaptation. Super-sizing portions, on the other h a n d , maximizes a d a p t a t i o n . Epic u r u s , o n e o f the f e w ancient p h i l o s o p h e r s t o e m b r a c e s e n s u a l p l e a s u r e , endorsed the French way w h e n he said that the w i s e m a n " c h o o s e s not the greatest quantity of food but the m o s t tasty." 5 2 O n e reason for the w i d e s p r e a d p h i l o s o p h i c a l wariness of s e n s u a l pleas u r e is that it gives no lasting benefit. P l e a s u r e feels good in t h e m o m e n t , but sensual m e m o r i e s f a d e quickly, a n d t h e p e r s o n is no wiser or stronger

The Pursuit of Ha-ppiness 9 i a f t e r w a r d s . E v e n w o r s e , p l e a s u r e b e c k o n s p e o p l e b a c k for m o r e , a w a y f r o m activities that m i g h t b e better for t h e m i n t h e long r u n . B u t g r a t i f i c a t i o n s a r e d i f f e r e n t . G r a t i f i c a t i o n s a s k m o r e o f u s ; they c h a l l e n g e u s a n d m a k e u s extend ourselves. Gratifications often c o m e from accomplishing s o m e t h i n g , l e a r n i n g s o m e t h i n g , o r i m p r o v i n g s o m e t h i n g . W h e n w e e n t e r a s t a t e o f flow, h a r d w o r k b e c o m e s e f f o r t l e s s . W e want t o k e e p exerting o u r s e l v e s , h o n i n g o u r skills, u s i n g o u r s t r e n g t h s . S e l i g m a n s u g g e s t s t h a t t h e key t o f i n d i n g your o w n g r a t i f i c a t i o n s i s t o k n o w your o w n s t r e n g t h s . 5 3 O n e o f t h e b i g a c c o m p l i s h m e n t s of positive psychology has b e e n the development of a catalog o f s t r e n g t h s . \ o u c a n f i n d out your s t r e n g t h s b y t a k i n g a n o n l i n e t e s t a t www.authentichappiness.org. Recently I a s k e d the 3 5 0 students in my introductory psychology class to t a k e t h e s t r e n g t h s test a n d t h e n , a w e e k later, to e n g a g e in f o u r a c t i v i t i e s o v e r a f e w d a y s . O n e o f t h e activities w a s t o i n d u l g e t h e s e n s e s , a s b y taki n g a b r e a k for i c e c r e a m i n t h e m i d d l e o f t h e a f t e r n o o n , a n d t h e n s a v o r i n g t h e i c e c r e a m . T h i s activity w a s t h e m o s t e n j o y a b l e a t t h e t i m e ; b u t , l i k e all p l e a s u r e s , i t f a d e d quickly. T h e o t h e r t h r e e a c t i v i t i e s w e r e p o t e n t i a l g r a t i f i c a t i o n s : A t t e n d a l e c t u r e o r c l a s s that you don't n o r m a l l y g o to; p e r f o r m a n a c t o f k i n d n e s s for a f r i e n d w h o c o u l d u s e s o m e c h e e r i n g u p ; a n d w r i t e d o w n t h e r e a s o n s y o u a r e g r a t e f u l t o s o m e o n e a n d later call o r v i s i t that person to express your gratitude. T h e least enjoyable of the four activities was going to a lecture e x c e p t for t h o s e w h o s e s t r e n g t h s i n c l u d e d c u r i o s ity a n d love of l e a r n i n g . T h e y got a lot m o r e o u t of it. T h e big f i n d i n g w a s that p e o p l e e x p e r i e n c e d longer-lasting i m p r o v e m e n t s in m o o d f r o m the k i n d n e s s a n d g r a t i t u d e activities t h a n f r o m t h o s e i n w h i c h t h e y i n d u l g e d t h e m s e l v e s . E v e n t h o u g h p e o p l e w e r e m o s t n e r v o u s a b o u t d o i n g t h e kindn e s s and gratitude activities, which required them to violate social n o r m s a n d risk e m b a r r a s s m e n t , o n c e they a c t u a l l y d i d t h e a c t i v i t i e s they f e l t b e t ter for t h e rest o f t h e day. M a n y s t u d e n t s e v e n s a i d their g o o d f e e l i n g s c o n t i n u e d o n into t h e next d a y — w h i c h n o b o d y s a i d a b o u t e a t i n g i c e c r e a m . Furthermore, t h e s e benefits were m o s t p r o n o u n c e d for those w h o s e strengths included kindness and gratitude. So V (voluntary activity) is real, a n d it's not j u s t a b o u t d e t a c h m e n t . You c a n i n c r e a s e your h a p p i n e s s i f you u s e your s t r e n g t h s , p a r t i c u l a r l y i n t h e

98

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

s e r v i c e o f s t r e n g t h e n i n g c o n n e c t i o n s — h e l p i n g f r i e n d s , e x p r e s s i n g gratit u d e t o b e n e f a c t o r s . P e r f o r m i n g a r a n d o m a c t o f k i n d n e s s every d a y c o u l d get t e d i o u s , but if you k n o w your s t r e n g t h s a n d d r a w up a list of five activities that e n g a g e t h e m , y o u c a n surely a d d a t l e a s t o n e g r a t i f i c a t i o n t o every day. S t u d i e s that h a v e a s s i g n e d p e o p l e t o p e r f o r m a r a n d o m a c t o f k i n d n e s s every w e e k , o r t o c o u n t their b l e s s i n g s r e g u l a r l y f o r s e v e r a l w e e k s , f i n d s m a l l but s u s t a i n e d i n c r e a s e s i n h a p p i n e s s . 5 4 S o t a k e t h e initiative! C h o o s e your o w n gratifying activities, do t h e m regularly ( b u t n o t to t h e p o i n t of ted i u m ) , a n d r a i s e your overall level o f h a p p i n e s s .

M I S G U I D E D

P U R S U I T S

An axiom of e c o n o m i c s is that p e o p l e p u r s u e their interests m o r e or less rationally, a n d that's what m a k e s m a r k e t s w o r k — A d a m Smith's "invisible h a n d " of self-interest. B u t in the 1 9 8 0 s , a f e w e c o n o m i s t s b e g a n s t u d y i n g psychology a n d m e s s i n g u p the prevailing m o d e l s . L e a d i n g the way w a s t h e C o r n e l l e c o n o m i s t Robert Frank, w h o s e 1 9 8 7 b o o k Passions Within Reason analyzed s o m e of the things p e o p l e do that j u s t don't fit into e c o n o m i c m o d e l s of p u r e s e l f - i n t e r e s t — s u c h a s tipping i n r e s t a u r a n t s w h e n far f r o m h o m e , s e e k i n g costly revenge, a n d staying loyal to friends a n d s p o u s e s w h e n better opportunities c o m e a l o n g . F r a n k a r g u e d that t h e s e b e h a v i o r s m a k e s e n s e only a s p r o d u c t s of moral e m o t i o n s ( s u c h as love, s h a m e , v e n g e a n c e , or guilt), a n d t h e s e moral e m o t i o n s m a k e s e n s e only a s p r o d u c t s o f evolution. Evolution s e e m s to have m a d e us "strategically irrational" at t i m e s for our o w n g o o d ; for e x a m p l e , a p e r s o n w h o g e t s angry w h e n c h e a t e d , a n d w h o will p u r s u e v e n g e a n c e regardless of the cost, earns a r e p u t a t i o n that d i s c o u r a g e s wouldbe c h e a t e r s . A p e r s o n w h o p u r s u e d v e n g e a n c e only w h e n the b e n e f i t s outweighed the c o s t s c o u l d be c h e a t e d with i m p u n i t y in m a n y s i t u a t i o n s . In his m o r e r e c e n t book, Luxury Fever,55 F r a n k u s e d t h e s a m e a p p r o a c h t o u n d e r s t a n d a n o t h e r kind o f irrationality: t h e vigor with w h i c h p e o p l e p u r s u e m a n y g o a l s that work a g a i n s t their o w n h a p p i n e s s . F r a n k b e g i n s with the q u e s t i o n of why, as n a t i o n s r i s e in w e a l t h , their c i t i z e n s b e c o m e n o happier, a n d h e c o n s i d e r s t h e p o s s i b i l i t y that o n c e b a s i c n e e d s a r e m e t ,

The Pursuit of Ha-ppiness 9 i m o n e y simply c a n n o t buy additional h a p p i n e s s . After a careful review of t h e e v i d e n c e , however, F r a n k c o n c l u d e s t h a t t h o s e w h o t h i n k m o n e y c a n ' t b u y h a p p i n e s s j u s t don't k n o w w h e r e t o s h o p . S o m e p u r c h a s e s a r e m u c h less subject to the adaptation principle. Frank wants to know why p e o p l e are so devoted to spending money on luxuries and other goods, to which they a d a p t c o m p l e t e l y , r a t h e r than o n t h i n g s t h a t w o u l d m a k e t h e m lastingly h a p p i e r . F o r e x a m p l e , p e o p l e w o u l d b e h a p p i e r a n d h e a l t h i e r i f they took m o r e t i m e o f f a n d " s p e n t " i t with their f a m i l y a n d f r i e n d s , y e t A m e r i c a has long b e e n heading in the opposite direction. People would be happier if they r e d u c e d their c o m m u t i n g t i m e , e v e n if it m e a n t living in s m a l l e r h o u s e s , yet A m e r i c a n t r e n d s a r e t o w a r d e v e r larger h o u s e s a n d e v e r l o n g e r c o m m u t e s . People would be happier and healthier if they took longer vacat i o n s , e v e n i f that m e a n t e a r n i n g l e s s , yet v a c a t i o n t i m e s a r e s h r i n k i n g i n t h e U n i t e d S t a t e s , a n d i n E u r o p e a s well. P e o p l e w o u l d b e h a p p i e r , a n d i n t h e l o n g run wealthier, i f they b o u g h t b a s i c , f u n c t i o n a l a p p l i a n c e s , a u t o mobiles, and wristwatches, and invested the m o n e y they saved for future c o n s u m p t i o n ; yet, A m e r i c a n s in particular s p e n d a l m o s t everything they h a v e — a n d s o m e t i m e s m o r e — o n g o o d s for p r e s e n t c o n s u m p t i o n , o f t e n paying a large p r e m i u m for d e s i g n e r n a m e s a n d s u p e r f l u o u s f e a t u r e s . Frank's e x p l a n a t i o n i s s i m p l e : C o n s p i c u o u s a n d i n c o n s p i c u o u s c o n s u m p tion follow d i f f e r e n t p s y c h o l o g i c a l rules. C o n s p i c u o u s c o n s u m p t i o n r e f e r s to things that a r e visible to o t h e r s a n d that a r e t a k e n as m a r k e r s of a p e r s o n ' s relative s u c c e s s . T h e s e g o o d s a r e s u b j e c t t o a kind o f a r m s r a c e , w h e r e their v a l u e c o m e s not s o m u c h f r o m their o b j e c t i v e p r o p e r t i e s a s f r o m t h e s t a t e m e n t they m a k e a b o u t their owner. W h e n e v e r y o n e w o r e T i m e x w a t c h e s , t h e first p e r s o n i n t h e o f f i c e b u y a R o l e x s t o o d o u t . W h e n e v e r y o n e m o v e d up to Rolex, it t o o k a $ 2 0 , 0 0 0 P a t e k Philip to a c h i e v e h i g h s t a t u s , a n d a Rolex no longer gave as m u c h satisfaction. C o n s p i c u o u s c o n s u m p t i o n is a z e r o - s u m g a m e : E a c h p e r s o n ' s m o v e u p d e v a l u e s the p o s s e s s i o n s o f others. F u r t h e r m o r e , it's d i f f i c u l t to p e r s u a d e an entire g r o u p or s u b c u l t u r e to r a t c h e t d o w n , e v e n t h o u g h e v e r y o n e w o u l d b e b e t t e r o f f , o n a v e r a g e , i f they all w e n t b a c k t o s i m p l e w a t c h e s . I n c o n s p i c u o u s c o n s u m p t i o n , o n t h e o t h e r h a n d , refers t o g o o d s a n d activities that a r e v a l u e d for t h e m s e l v e s , t h a t a r e usually c o n s u m e d m o r e privately, a n d that a r e not b o u g h t for t h e p u r p o s e o f

100

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

achieving status. B e c a u s e A m e r i c a n s , at least, gain no prestige f r o m taking the longest vacations or having the shortest c o m m u t e s , t h e s e i n c o n s p i c u o u s c o n s u m a b l e s are not subject to an a r m s r a c e . J u s t try this thought e x p e r i m e n t . W h i c h j o b would you rather have: o n e in which you e a r n e d $ 9 0 , 0 0 0 a year a n d your c o w o r k e r s e a r n e d on average $ 7 0 , 0 0 0 , or o n e in which you e a r n e d $ 1 0 0 , 0 0 0 but your c o w o r k e r s e a r n e d o n average $ 1 5 0 , 0 0 0 ? M a n y p e o p l e c h o o s e the first j o b , thereby revealing that relative position is worth at least $ 1 0 , 0 0 0 to t h e m . N o w try this one: Would you rather work for a c o m p a n y that g a v e you two w e e k s of vacation a year, b u t other e m p l o y e e s w e r e given, on average, only o n e ; or would you prefer a c o m p a n y that gave you f o u r w e e k s of v a c a t i o n a year, b u t other e m p l o y e e s w e r e given, o n average, six? T h e great majority o f p e o p l e c h o o s e the longer a b s o l u t e t i m e . 5 6 T i m e o f f i s i n c o n s p i c u o u s c o n s u m p t i o n , although p e o p l e c a n easily turn a v a c a t i o n into c o n s p i c u o u s c o n s u m p t i o n by s p e n d i n g vast a m o u n t s o f m o n e y t o i m p r e s s o t h e r s i n s t e a d o f u s i n g the time to rejuvenate t h e m s e l v e s . Frank's c o n c l u s i o n s are b o l s t e r e d by r e c e n t r e s e a r c h on the b e n e f i t s of "doing v e r s u s having." T h e p s y c h o l o g i s t s L e a f van Boven a n d T o m Gilovich a s k e d p e o p l e to think b a c k to a t i m e w h e n they s p e n t m o r e than a h u n d r e d dollars with t h e intention o f i n c r e a s i n g their h a p p i n e s s a n d e n j o y m e n t . O n e group of s u b j e c t s w a s a s k e d to p i c k a material p o s s e s s i o n ; the other w a s asked to p i c k an e x p e r i e n c e or activity they had p a i d for. A f t e r describing their p u r c h a s e s , s u b j e c t s w e r e a s k e d to fill out a q u e s t i o n n a i r e . T h o s e w h o d e s c r i b e d b u y i n g an e x p e r i e n c e ( s u c h as a ski trip, a c o n c e r t , or a great m e a l ) w e r e h a p p i e r w h e n thinking a b o u t their p u r c h a s e , a n d thought that their m o n e y w a s better s p e n t , than t h o s e w h o d e s c r i b e d b u y i n g a material o b j e c t ( s u c h as clothing, jewelry, or e l e c t r o n i c s ) . 5 7 A f t e r c o n d u c t i n g several variations of this e x p e r i m e n t with similar f i n d i n g s e a c h time. Van Boven a n d G i l o v i c h c o n c l u d e d that e x p e r i e n c e s give m o r e h a p p i n e s s i n part b e c a u s e they have greater social v a l u e : M o s t activities that cost m o r e than a h u n d r e d dollars are things we do with other p e o p l e , but expensive material p o s s e s s i o n s are o f t e n p u r c h a s e d in part to im-press other p e o p l e . Activities c o n n e c t us to others; o b j e c t s o f t e n s e p a r a t e us. So now you know where to s h o p . S t o p trying to k e e p up with the J o n e s e s . S t o p wasting your money on c o n s p i c u o u s c o n s u m p t i o n . As a first step, work

The Pursuit of Ha-ppiness 9 i l e s s , earn l e s s , a c c u m u l a t e less, a n d " c o n s u m e " m o r e f a m i l y t i m e , v a c a t i o n s , a n d o t h e r e n j o y a b l e activities. T h e C h i n e s e s a g e L a o T z u w a r n e d p e o p l e t o m a k e their o w n c h o i c e s a n d not p u r s u e t h e material o b j e c t s e v e r y o n e e l s e was pursuing: Racing a n d hunting m a d d e n the mind. Precious things lead o n e astray. T h e r e f o r e the s a g e is g u i d e d by what he f e e l s a n d not by what he s e e s . He lets go of that and c h o o s e s this. 5 8 Unfortunately, letting g o o f o n e thing a n d c h o o s i n g a n o t h e r i s d i f f i c u l t i f t h e e l e p h a n t w r a p s h i s trunk a r o u n d t h e " p r e c i o u s t h i n g " a n d r e f u s e s t o let g o . T h e e l e p h a n t w a s s h a p e d b y natural s e l e c t i o n t o win a t t h e g a m e o f life, a n d part of its strategy is to i m p r e s s o t h e r s , g a i n their a d m i r a t i o n , a n d rise in relative rank. The elephant cares about prestige, not happiness,59 a n d it l o o k s eternally to o t h e r s to figure out what is p r e s t i g i o u s . T h e e l e p h a n t will p u r s u e its evolutionary g o a l s e v e n w h e n g r e a t e r h a p p i n e s s c a n b e f o u n d e l s e w h e r e . I f e v e r y o n e i s c h a s i n g t h e s a m e l i m i t e d a m o u n t o f p r e s t i g e , t h e n all a r e s t u c k in a z e r o - s u m g a m e , an eternal a r m s r a c e , a world in w h i c h r i s i n g w e a l t h d o e s not b r i n g rising h a p p i n e s s . T h e p u r s u i t o f luxury g o o d s i s a h a p p i n e s s trap; it is a d e a d e n d that p e o p l e r a c e toward in t h e m i s t a k e n b e l i e f that it will m a k e t h e m h a p p y M o d e r n life h a s m a n y o t h e r t r a p s . H e r e ' s s o m e b a i t . O f t h e f o l l o w i n g w o r d s , p i c k t h e o n e that is m o s t a p p e a l i n g to you: constraint, limit, barrier, choice. O d d s a r e y o u c h o s e choice, b e c a u s e the first three g a v e y o u a f l a s h of negative a f f e c t ( r e m e m b e r the like-o-meter). C h o i c e a n d its f r e q u e n t a s s o c i a t e f r e e d o m a r e u n q u e s t i o n e d g o o d s o f m o d e r n life. M o s t p e o p l e w o u l d rather s h o p at a s u p e r m a r k e t that s t o c k s ten i t e m s in e a c h food c a t e g o r y t h a n at a small store that s t o c k s j u s t two. M o s t p e o p l e w o u l d p r e f e r to i n v e s t their retirement savings through a c o m p a n y that o f f e r s forty f u n d s t h a n o n e that o f f e r s four. Yet, w h e n p e o p l e a r e actually given a larger array of c h o i c e s — f o r e x a m p l e , a n a s s o r t m e n t o f thirty (rather t h a n six) g o u r m e t c h o c o l a t e s f r o m w h i c h to c h o o s e — t h e y are l e s s likely to m a k e a c h o i c e ; a n d if t h e y d o , they are l e s s satisfied with it. 6 0 T h e m o r e c h o i c e s there are, the m o r e y o u e x p e c t to find a p e r f e c t fit; yet, at t h e s a m e time, the larger t h e array, t h e l e s s likely it

102

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

b e c o m e s that you picked the b e s t item. You leave the store less c o n f i d e n t in your choice, more likely to feel regret, a n d m o r e likely to think about the options you didn't choose. If you can avoid m a k i n g a c h o i c e , you are m o r e likely to do so. T h e psychologist Barry S c h w a r t z calls this the "paradox of c h o i c e " : 6 1 We value c h o i c e a n d p u t o u r s e l v e s in s i t u a t i o n s of c h o i c e , even t h o u g h c h o i c e often u n d e r c u t s our h a p p i n e s s . B u t S c h w a r t z a n d his c o l l e a g u e s 6 2 find that the paradox mostly applies to p e o p l e they call " m a x i m i z e r s " — t h o s e who habitually try to evaluate all the options, s e e k out m o r e information, a n d m a k e the best choice (or "maximize their utility," as e c o n o m i s t s would say). Other p e o p l e — " s a t i s f i c e r s " — a r e more laid b a c k a b o u t c h o i c e . T h e y evaluate an array of options until they find o n e that is good e n o u g h , a n d then they stop looking. Satisficers are not hurt by a surfeit of options. Maximizers end up making slightly better decisions than satisficers, on average (all that worry and information-gathering does help), b u t they are less happy with their decisions, and they are more inclined to d e p r e s s i o n a n d anxiety. In one clever study, 6 3 maximizers a n d satisficers w e r e a s k e d to solve anagrams while sitting next to another s u b j e c t (really a co-experimenter) w h o was solving them either m u c h faster or m u c h slower. S a t i s f i c e r s were relatively unfazed by the experience. Their ratings of their own ability, and of how m u c h they enjoyed the study, were barely a f f e c t e d by what the other subject did. But maximizers were thrown for a loop w h e n the other s u b j e c t was faster than they were. T h e y later reported lower e s t i m a t e s of their own abilities a n d higher levels of negative emotions. ( B e i n g paired with a slower p e e r didn't have m u c h e f f e c t — a n o t h e r instance of negative events b e i n g stronger than positive). T h e point here is that maximizers e n g a g e in m o r e social comparison, and are therefore m o r e easily d r a w n into c o n s p i c u o u s c o n s u m p t i o n . Paradoxically, maximizers get less p l e a s u r e per dollar they s p e n d . M o d e r n life is full of traps. S o m e of t h e s e traps a r e s e t by m a r k e t e r s a n d advertisers w h o know j u s t what the e l e p h a n t w a n t s — a n d it isn't h a p p i n e s s .

T H E

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

R E C O N S I D E R E D

W h e n I began writing this book, I thought that B u d d h a would be a strong c o n t e n d e r for the " B e s t P s y c h o l o g i s t o f the L a s t T h r e e T h o u s a n d Years"

The Pursuit of Ha-ppiness 9 i a w a r d . To m e , his d i a g n o s i s of the futility of striving felt so right, his p r o m i s e of tranquility so alluring. B u t in d o i n g r e s e a r c h for the b o o k , I b e g a n to think that B u d d h i s m m i g h t b e b a s e d o n a n overreaction, p e r h a p s e v e n a n error. According to legend,64 B u d d h a was the son of a king in northern India. W h e n h e w a s born ( a s S i d d h a r t h a G a u t a m a ) , t h e k i n g h e a r d a p r o p h e c y that his s o n w a s d e s t i n e d to leave, to go into the forest a n d turn his b a c k on t h e k i n g d o m . S o a s t h e boy grew into a d u l t h o o d , his f a t h e r tried t o tie h i m d o w n with s e n s u a l p l e a s u r e s a n d h i d e f r o m h i m a n y t h i n g that m i g h t d i s t u r b his m i n d . T h e y o u n g p r i n c e w a s married t o a b e a u t i f u l p r i n c e s s a n d r a i s e d o n the upper floors of the palace, surrounded by a harem of other beautiful w o m e n . B u t h e g r e w b o r e d (the a d a p t a t i o n p r i n c i p l e ) a n d c u r i o u s a b o u t t h e world o u t s i d e . Eventually, he prevailed u p o n his f a t h e r to let h i m go for a chariot ride. O n t h e m o r n i n g o f the ride, t h e king o r d e r e d that all p e o p l e w h o w e r e old, sick, or c r i p p l e d w e r e to retreat i n d o o r s . Yet o n e o l d m a n r e m a i n e d o n the road, a n d t h e p r i n c e s a w him. T h e p r i n c e a s k e d his chariot driver t o explain the o d d - l o o k i n g c r e a t u r e , a n d t h e driver told h i m that e v e r y o n e g r o w s old. S t u n n e d , t h e y o u n g p r i n c e r e t u r n e d t o his p a l a c e . O n t h e next day's exc u r s i o n , h e s a w a s i c k m a n , his body h o b b l e d b y d i s e a s e . M o r e e x p l a n a t i o n , m o r e retreating to t h e p a l a c e . On the third day, the p r i n c e s a w a c o r p s e bei n g carried t h r o u g h t h e s t r e e t s . T h i s w a s t h e last straw. U p o n d i s c o v e r i n g that old a g e , d i s e a s e , a n d d e a t h a r e t h e d e s t i n y o f all p e o p l e , t h e p r i n c e c r i e d , " T u r n b a c k t h e chariot! 'lliis i s n o t i m e o r p l a c e for p l e a s u r e e x c u r s i o n s . H o w c o u l d an intelligent p e r s o n pay no h e e d at a t i m e of disaster, w h e n he k n o w s o f his i m p e n d i n g d e s t r u c t i o n ? " 6 5 T h e p r i n c e then left his wife, his h a r e m , a n d , a s p r o p h e s i e d , his royal f u t u r e . H e w e n t into t h e f o r e s t a n d b e g a n his j o u r n e y t o e n l i g h t e n m e n t . A f t e r his e n l i g h t e n m e n t , B u d d h a 6 6 ( t h e " a w a k e n e d o n e " ) p r e a c h e d that life is s u f f e r i n g , a n d that the only way to e s c a p e this s u f f e r i n g i s b y b r e a k i n g t h e a t t a c h m e n t s that b i n d u s t o p l e a s u r e , a c h i e v e m e n t , reputation, a n d life. But what would have h a p p e n e d if the young prince had actually des c e n d e d f r o m his g i l d e d chariot a n d talked t o t h e p e o p l e h e a s s u m e d w e r e s o m i s e r a b l e ? W h a t i f h e h a d i n t e r v i e w e d t h e poor, t h e elderly, t h e c r i p p l e d , and the sick? O n e of the most adventurous y o u n g psychologists, Robert Uiswas-Diener (son of the happiness pioneer Ed Diener), has d o n e j u s t that. H e h a s traveled t h e world interviewing p e o p l e a b o u t their lives a n d

104

'I'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

how satisfied they are with t h e m . W h e r e v e r he g o e s , f r o m G r e e n l a n d to Kenya to California, he finds that m o s t p e o p l e (with the e x c e p t i o n of homeless people) are m o r e satisfied than d i s s a t i s f i e d with their lives. 6 7 He even interviewed sex workers in the s l u m s of C a l c u t t a , forced by poverty to sell their bodies and sacrifice their f u t u r e s to d i s e a s e . Although t h e s e w o m e n w e r e s u b s t a n t i a l l y l e s s s a t i s f i e d with their lives than w a s a c o m p a r i s o n group of college s t u d e n t s in C a l c u t t a , they still (on average) rated their satisfaction with e a c h of twelve s p e c i f i c a s p e c t s of their lives as m o r e satisfied than dissatisfied, or e l s e as neutral (neither satisfied nor dissatisfied). Yes, they s u f f e r e d privations that s e e m to us in the W e s t u n b e a r a b l e , but they also had close friends with w h o m they s p e n t m u c h of their time, a n d most of t h e m stayed in touch with their f a m i l i e s . B i s w a s - D i e n e r c o n c l u d e s that "while the poor of C a l c u t t a do not l e a d enviable lives, they do lead meaningful lives. T h e y capitalize on the non-material r e s o u r c e s available to them and find satisfaction in m a n y areas of their lives." 6 8 L i k e q u a d r i p l e g i c s , the elderly, or any other class of p e o p l e the y o u n g B u d d h a might have pitied, the lives o f t h e s e p r o s t i t u t e s a r e m u c h b e t t e r f r o m the i n s i d e t h a n they s e e m from the outside. Another reason for Buddha's e m p h a s i s on d e t a c h m e n t may have b e e n the turbulent t i m e s he lived in: Kings a n d city-states w e r e m a k i n g war, and people's lives and fortunes could be burned up overnight. W h e n life is unpredictable a n d d a n g e r o u s (as it w a s for the S t o i c p h i l o s o p h e r s , living under capricious R o m a n emperors), it might be foolish to seek h a p p i n e s s by controlling one's external world. But now it is not. People living in wealthy democracies can set long-term goals and e x p e c t to m e e t them. We are immunized against disease, sheltered from storms, a n d insured against fire, theft, and collision. For the first time in h u m a n history, most people (in wealthy countries) will live past the a g e of seventy and will not s e e any of their children die before them. Although all of us will get u n w a n t e d surprises along the way, we'll adapt and c o p e with nearly all of t h e m , a n d many of us will believe we are better off for having suffered. So to c u t off all attachments, to shun the pleasures of sensuality and triumph in an effort to e s c a p e the pains of loss and d e f e a t — t h i s now strikes me as an inappropriate r e s p o n s e to the inevitable presence of some suffering in every life.

The Pursuit of Ha-ppiness 9 i M a n y W e s t e r n thinkers have looked a t the s a m e a f f l i c t i o n s a s B u d d h a — s i c k n e s s , aging, a n d m o r t a l i t y — a n d c o m e to a very d i f f e r e n t c o n c l u s i o n f r o m his: T h r o u g h p a s s i o n a t e a t t a c h m e n t s t o p e o p l e , goals, a n d p l e a s u r e s , life m u s t be lived to the fullest. I o n c e h e a r d a talk by the p h i l o s o p h e r R o b e r t S o l o m o n , w h o directly c h a l l e n g e d the p h i l o s o p h y o f n o n a t t a c h m e n t a s a n a f f r o n t t o h u m a n n a t u r e . 6 9 T h e life of cerebral reflection a n d e m o t i o n a l i n d i f f e r e n c e (apatheia) a d v o c a t e d b y m a n y G r e e k a n d R o m a n p h i l o s o p h e r s a n d that o f c a l m nonstriving a d v o c a t e d by B u d d h a are lives d e s i g n e d to avoid p a s s i o n , a n d a life without p a s s i o n is not a h u m a n life. "Ves, a t t a c h m e n t s bring pain, b u t they a l s o bring our greatest joys, a n d there is value in the very variation that the p h i l o s o p h e r s are trying to avoid. I w a s s t u n n e d to h e a r a p h i l o s o p h e r r e j e c t so m u c h of a n c i e n t philosophy, b u t I w a s a l s o inspired in a w a y that I h a d n e v e r b e e n as an u n d e r g r a d u a t e s t u d e n t of philosophy. I w a l k e d out of the l e c t u r e hall f e e l i n g that I w a n t e d to do s o m e t h i n g then a n d there to e m b r a c e life. S o l o m o n ' s m e s s a g e w a s u n o r t h o d o x in philosophy, b u t it is c o m m o n in t h e work of r o m a n t i c p o e t s , novelists, a n d n a t u r e writers: " W e do not live b u t a quarter part o f our l i f e — w h y d o w e not let o n the f l o o d — r a i s e t h e g a t e s — & s e t our w h e e l s i n m o t i o n — H e that h a t h e a r s t o h e a r let h i m hear. E m p l o y your s e n s e s . " ( H E N R Y D A V I D T H O R E A U , 1851) 70 Even a future justice of the U . S . S u p r e m e C o u r t — a body devoted to r e a s o n — i s s u e d this opinion: "I think that, as life is a c t i o n a n d p a s s i o n , it is r e q u i r e d o f a m a n that h e s h o u l d s h a r e t h e p a s s i o n a n d a c t i o n o f h i s t i m e a t peril of b e i n g j u d g e d not to h a v e lived." ( O L I V E R W E N D E L L H O L M E S , J R . , I884)71 B u d d h a , L a o T z u , a n d other s a g e s o f t h e E a s t d i s c o v e r e d a p a t h t o p e a c e a n d tranquility, the path of letting go. T h e y told us h o w to follow t h e p a t h using m e d i t a t i o n a n d stillness. M i l l i o n s of p e o p l e in the W e s t h a v e f o l l o w e d , a n d a l t h o u g h few, i f any, h a v e r e a c h e d N i r v a n a , m a n y h a v e f o u n d s o m e degree o f p e a c e , h a p p i n e s s , a n d spiritual growth. S o I d o not m e a n t o q u e s t i o n the v a l u e or r e l e v a n c e of B u d d h i s m in the m o d e r n world, or t h e i m p o r t a n c e of working on yourself in an e f f o r t to find h a p p i n e s s . Rather, I w o u l d like to s u g g e s t that the h a p p i n e s s h y p o t h e s i s b e e x t e n d e d — f o r n o w — i n t o a yinyang formulation:

Happiness

comes from within,

and

happiness comes from

xvithout. (In c h a p t e r 10, I'll s u g g e s t a f u r t h e r r e f i n e m e n t of the h y p o t h e s i s . )

1 2 2 T H E H A P P I N E S S H Y PO ' TH E S I S

To live both the yin a n d the yang, we n e e d g u i d a n c e . B u d d h a is history's most perceptive g u i d e to the first half; he is a c o n s t a n t but g e n d e reminder of the yin of internal work. B u t I believe that the Western ideal of action, striving, and p a s s i o n a t e a t t a c h m e n t is not as m i s g u i d e d as B u d d h i s m suggests. We just need s o m e b a l a n c e (from the E a s t ) and s o m e specific guida n c e (from modern psychology) a b o u t what to strive for.

Love

and

Attachments

No one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own utility; you must live for your neighbour, if you would live for yourself. — S E N E C A I

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. — J O H N

D O N N E 2

IN 1931, AT THE AGE of four, my f a t h e r w a s d i a g n o s e d w i t h p o l i o . He w a s i m m e d i a t e l y p u t into an isoJation r o o m at t h e local h o s p i t a l in B r o o k l y n , N e w York. T h e r e w a s n o c u r e a n d n o v a c c i n e for p o l i o a t that t i m e , a n d city d w e l l e r s lived i n f e a r o f its s p r e a d . For several w e e k s m y f a t h e r h a d n o h u m a n c o n t a c t , s a v e for a n o c c a s i o n a l visit b y a m a s k e d n u r s e . H i s m o t h e r c a m e t o s e e h i m every day, b u t that's all s h e c o u l d d o — w a v e t o h i m a n d try t o talk t o h i m t h r o u g h t h e g l a s s p a n e o n t h e door. M y f a t h e r r e m e m b e r s calling out to her, b e g g i n g her to c o m e in. It m u s t h a v e b r o k e n h e r h e a r t , a n d o n e day s h e i g n o r e d t h e r u l e s a n d w e n t in. S h e w a s c a u g h t a n d s t e r n l y r e p r i m a n d e d . M y f a t h e r r e c o v e r e d with n o p a r a l y s i s , b u t this i m a g e h a s always s t a y e d with m e : a s m a l l boy a l o n e in a r o o m , g a z i n g at h i s m o t h e r through a p a n e of g l a s s .

107

108

'I'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

My father had the bad luck to be born at the c o n f l u e n c e point of three big ideas. T h e first was germ theory, p r o p o s e d in the 1 8 4 0 s by Ignaz S e m melweis and incorporated into hospitals and h o m e s with gradually increasing ferocity over the next century. W h e n they began to collect statistics from orphanages and foundling h o m e s in t h e 1920s, pediatricians c a m e to fear germs above all else. As far b a c k as records went, they s h o w e d that most children dropped off at foundling h o m e s died within o n e year. In 1915, a N e w York physician, Henry C h a p i n , reported to the American Pediatric Society that out of the ten foundling h o m e s he had examined, in all but one of them all the children had died before their second birthday. 3 As pediatricians c a m e to grips with the deadly e f f e c t s of institutions on young children, they reacted in a logical way by launching a c r u s a d e against germs. It b e c a m e a priority in orphanages and hospitals to isolate children as much as possible in clean cubicles to prevent t h e m from infecting e a c h other. Beds were separated, dividers were placed b e t w e e n beds, n u r s e s retreated behind masks and gloves, and mothers were scolded for violating quarantine. T h e other two big ideas were psychoanalysis and behaviorism. T h e s e two theories agreed on very little, but they both agreed that the infant's attachment to its mother is based on milk. Freud thought that the infant's libido (desire for pleasure) is first satisfied by the breast, and therefore the infant develops its first attachment (psychological need) to the breast. Only gradually does the child generalize that desire to the woman who owns the breast. T h e behaviorists didn't care about libido, but they, too, s a w the breast as the first reinforcer, the first reward (milk) for the first behavior (sucking). T h e heart of behaviorism, if it had one, w a s conditioning—the idea that ^earning occurs when rewards are conditional u p o n behaviors. Unconditional love— holding, nuzzling, a n d c u d d l i n g children for no r e a s o n — w a s seen as the surest way to m a k e children lazy, spoiled, and weak. Freudians and behaviorists were united in their belief that highly affectionate mothering damages children, and that scientific principles could improve child rearing. T h r e e years before my father entered the hospital, John Watson, the leading American behaviorist (in the years b e f o r e B. F. S k i n n e r ) , p u b l i s h e d the best-seller

Psychological

Care

of Infant

and

Child.4

Watson

wrote

of h i s

dream that one day babies would be raised in baby f a r m s , away from the corrupting influences of parents. But until that day arrived, parents were

Love and Attachments ' J 27 urged t o u s e behaviorist t e c h n i q u e s t o rear s t r o n g c h i l d r e n : D o n ' t p i c k t h e m u p w h e n they cry, don't c u d d l e o r c o d d l e t h e m , j u s t d o l e o u t b e n e f i t s a n d p u n i s h m e n t s for e a c h g o o d a n d b a d a c t i o n . H o w c o u l d s c i e n c e have g o t t e n i t s o w r o n g ? H o w c o u l d d o c t o r s a n d p s y c h o l o g i s t s not h a v e s e e n that c h i l d r e n n e e d love a s well a s m i l k ? T h i s c h a p ter i s a b o u t that n e e d — t h e n e e d for o t h e r p e o p l e , f o r t o u c h , a n d for c l o s e r e l a t i o n s h i p s . N o m a n , w o m a n , o r child i s a n i s l a n d . S c i e n t i s t s h a v e c o m e a l o n g way s i n c e J o h n W a t s o n , a n d t h e r e i s n o w a m u c h m o r e h u m a n e scie n c e o f love. T h e story o f this s c i e n c e b e g i n s with o r p h a n s a n d r h e s u s m o n keys a n d e n d s with a c h a l l e n g e to t h e d i s m a l v i e w of love h e l d by m a n y of the a n c i e n t s , E a s t a n d W e s t . T h e h e r o e s o f this story a r e t w o p s y c h o l o g i s t s w h o r e j e c t e d t h e central t e n e t s o f their training: H a r r y H a r l o w a n d J o h n Bowlby. T h e s e t w o m e n k n e w that s o m e t h i n g w a s m i s s i n g i n b e h a v i o r i s m a n d i n p s y c h o a n a l y s i s , respectively. A g a i n s t great o d d s they c h a n g e d their fields, they h u m a n i z e d t h e t r e a t m e n t o f c h i l d r e n , a n d they m a d e i t p o s s i b l e for s c i e n c e t o greatly i m p r o v e u p o n t h e w i s d o m o f t h e a n c i e n t s .

T o

H A V E

A N D

T O

H O L D

Harry H a r l o w 5 e a r n e d his P h . D . i n 1 9 3 0 a t S t a n f o r d , w h e r e h e w r o t e h i s d i s s e r t a t i o n o n t h e f e e d i n g b e h a v i o r o f b a b y rats. H e t o o k a j o b a t t h e U n i versity o f W i s c o n s i n , w h e r e h e f o u n d h i m s e l f o v e r w h e l m e d with t e a c h i n g a n d u n d e r s u p p l i e d with r e s e a r c h s u b j e c t s — h e h a d n o l a b s p a c e , n o r a t s , no way to perform the experiments he w a s e x p e c t e d to publish. O u t of d e s p e r a t i o n , H a r l o w t o o k his s t u d e n t s t o t h e little z o o i n M a d i s o n , W i s c o n s i n , which h a d a s m a l l n u m b e r o f p r i m a t e s . H a r l o w a n d his first g r a d u a t e s t u dent, A b e Maslow, couldn't run controlled experiments using so f e w anim a l s . T h e y w e r e f o r c e d i n s t e a d t o o b s e r v e , t o k e e p their m i n d s o p e n , a n d t o learn f r o m s p e c i e s c l o s e l y r e l a t e d t o h u m a n b e i n g s . A n d o n e o f t h e f i r s t things they s a w w a s curiosity. T h e a p e s a n d m o n k e y s liked t o s o l v e p u z z l e s (the h u m a n s gave t h e m tests to m e a s u r e physical dexterity a n d intellig e n c e ) , a n d w o u l d work a t t a s k s for w h a t s e e m e d t o b e t h e s h e e r p l e a s u r e o f it. B e h a v i o r i s m , i n c o n t r a s t , s a i d that a n i m a l s will only d o w h a t t h e y have b e e n r e i n f o r c e d for d o i n g .

10

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

Harlow s e n s e d he had f o u n d a f l a w in behaviorism, b u t he couldn't prove it with a n e c d o t e s from the local zoo. He desperately wanted a lab in which to study primates, not rats, so he built one himself—literally built it, in the shell of an a b a n d o n e d building, with the help of his s t u d e n t s . In that makeshift lab, for the-next thirty years, Harlow and his s t u d e n t s infuriated behaviorists by demonstrating with ever more precision that monkeys are curious, intelligent creatures who like to figure things out. T h e y follow the laws of-reinforcement to s o m e degree, as do h u m a n s , b u t there is much more going on in a monkey brain than the brain of a behaviorist could grasp. For e x a m p l e , giving m o n k e y s raisins as a reward for e a c h correct step in solving a puzzle (such as o p e n i n g a mechanical latch with several moving parts) actually interferes with the solving, b e c a u s e it distracts the monkeys. 6 T h e y enjoy the task for its own sake. As Harlow's lab grew, he f a c e d p e r e n n i a l shortages of monkeys. They were hard to import and, when they arrived they were often sick, bringing a stream of new infections into the lab. In 1955, Harlow conceived the bold idea of starting his own breeding colony of rhesus monkeys. N o b o d y had ever created a self-sustaining b r e e d i n g colony of m o n k e y s in the United S t a t e s , let alone in the cold c l i m a t e of W i s c o n s i n , b u t H a r l o w was undeterred. He allowed his rhesus m o n k e y s to mate, and then he took away the children within hours of their b i r t h — t o save them from infections in the crowded lab. After m u c h experimentation, he and his s t u d e n t s created an artificial baby formula full of nutrients and antibiotics. T h e y found the optimum pattern of feeding, light and dark cycles, and temperature. E a c h baby was raised in its own cage, s a f e from disease. Harlow h a d in a way realized Watson's dream of a baby farm, a n d the crop grew large and healthylooking. But when the farm-raised m o n k e y s were brought into the company of others, they were stunned a n d unnerved. They never developed normal social or problem-solving skills, so they were useless for experiments. Harlow and his students were s t u m p e d . WTiat had they forgotten? T h e clue was in plain sight, c l u t c h e d in the monkeys' h a n d s , until finally a grad s t u d e n t , Bill M a s o n , n o t i c e d it: d i a p e r s . T h e c a g e s in the baby hatchery were s o m e t i m e s lined with old diapers to provide' b e d d i n g material and protect the babies from the cold floor. T h e m o n k e y s clung to the diapers, especially when they were afraid, and took them along when they

Love and Attachments ' J 27 were carried to n e w cages. M a s o n proposed a test to Harlow: Let's e x p o s e s o m e young monkeys to a bundle of cloth and a bundle of wood. Let's s e e whether the monkeys just need to hold on to something, anything, or w h e t h e r there's s o m e t h i n g s p e c i a l a b o u t t h e s o f t n e s s o f t h e c l o t h . H a r l o w loved t h e i d e a , a n d , a s h e t h o u g h t i t over, h e s a w a n e v e n g r a n d e r q u e s t i o n : W e r e t h e d i a p e r s really s u b s t i t u t e s for m o t h e r s ? D i d t h e m o n k e y s h a v e a n i n n a t e n e e d t o h o l d a n d b e h e l d , a n e e d that w a s utterly s t a r v e d i n t h e b a b y f a r m ? I f so, h o w c o u l d h e p r o v e it? H a r l o w ' s p r o o f b e c a m e o n e o f t h e m o s t f a m o u s e x p e r i m e n t s in all of psychology. H a r l o w p u t t h e m i l k h y p o t h e s i s t o a d i r e c t test. H e c r e a t e d t w o k i n d s o f s u r r o g a t e mother, e a c h o n e a cylinder a b o u t t h e size o f a n a d u l t f e m a l e r h e s u s monkey, c o m p l e t e with a w o o d e n h e a d that h a d e y e s a n d a m o u t h . O n e kind w a s m a d e o f wire m e s h , t h e other w a s c o v e r e d with a layer o f f o a m a n d then a layer of soft terrycloth. E a c h of eight baby r h e s u s m o n k e y s w a s raised a l o n e i n a c a g e with t w o s u r r o g a t e m o t h e r s , o n e o f e a c h k i n d . For four o f t h e m o n k e y s , m i l k w a s d e l i v e r e d only f r o m a t u b e c o m i n g t h r o u g h the c h e s t o f t h e wire mother. For the o t h e r four, t h e t u b e c a m e t h r o u g h t h e c h e s t o f t h e c l o t h mother. I f F r e u d a n d W a t s o n w e r e right t h a t m i l k w a s the c a u s e o f a t t a c h m e n t , t h e m o n k e y s s h o u l d a t t a c h t o their m i l k g i v e r s . Rut that's not w h a t h a p p e n e d . All t h e m o n k e y s s p e n t nearly all their t i m e clinging to, c l i m b i n g on, a n d p u s h i n g t h e m s e l v e s i n t o t h e s o f t f o l d s o f t h e cloth mother. Harlow's e x p e r i m e n t 7 i s s o e l e g a n t a n d s o c o n v i n c i n g t h a t y o u don't n e e d t o s e e s t a t i s t i c s t o u n d e r s t a n d the r e s u l t s . You j u s t n e e d t o s e e t h e f a m o u s p h o t o , n o w i n c l u d e d i n every i n t r o d u c t o r y p s y c h o l o g y b o o k , i n which a b a b y m o n k e y c l i n g s to t h e cloth m o t h e r with its hind l e g s w h i l e s t r e t c h i n g over t o f e e d f r o m t h e t u b e p r o t r u d i n g f r o m t h e wire m o t h e r . H a r l o w a r g u e d that " c o n t a c t c o m f o r t " i s a b a s i c n e e d that y o u n g m a m m a l s h a v e for p h y s i c a l c o n t a c t with their m o t h e r . In t h e a b s e n c e of a real mother, y o u n g m a m m a l s will s e e k o u t w h a t e v e r f e e l s m o s t like a m o t h e r . I larlow c h o s e t h e t e r m carefully, b e c a u s e t h e m o t h e r , e v e n a c l o t h m o t h e r , provides c o m f o r t w h e n i t i s m o s t n e e d e d , a n d t h a t c o m f o r t c o m e s m o s t l y from d i r e c t c o n t a c t . D i s p l a y s o f familial love o f t e n m o v e p e o p l e t o t e a r s , a n d D e b o r a h B l u m ' s w o n d e r f u l b i o g r a p h y of Harlow, Love at Goon Park,s is full of t o u c h i n g exp r e s s i o n s of familial love. It is an u p l i f t i n g story, ultimately, b u t a l o n g t h e

112

'i'll

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

way it is full of s a d n e s s and unrequited love. T h e cover of the hook, for example, shows a picture of a young r h e s u s monkey alone in a cage, gazing at its cloth "mother" through a p a n e of glass.

LOVE

C O N Q U E R S

FEAR

John Bowlby's life followed an entirely different path from Harlow's, even though it led, ultimately, to the s a m e discovery. 9 Bowlby w a s an English aristocrat, raised by a nanny, and sent to boarding school. He studied medicine and b e c a m e a psychoanalyst, b u t during his early training years, he did s o m e volunteer work that s h a p e d the rest of his career. He worked at two homes for maladjusted children, many of whom had no real contact with their parents. S o m e were aloof a n d u n c o m m u n i c a t i v e ; others were hopelessly clingy, following him a r o u n d anxiously if he paid the slightest attention to them. After serving in World War II, Bowlby returned to England to run the children's clinic in a hospital. He began to do research on how separation from parents a f f e c t s children. E u r o p e at that time had just experienced more parent-child separations than had any place in all of human history. T h e war had created vast n u m b e r s of orphans, refugees, and children sent away to the countryside for their own safety. T h e new World Health Organization c o m m i s s i o n e d Bowlby to write a report on the best way to deal with these children. Bowlby toured hospitals and orphanages, and his report, published in 1951, w a s a p a s s i o n a t e a r g u m e n t against prevailing notions that separation and isolation are harmless, and that biological needs such as nutrition are p a r a m o u n t . Children n e e d love to develop properly, he argued; children n e e d m o t h e r s . Throughout the 1950s, Bowlby d e v e l o p e d his ideas and weathered the scorn o f psychoanalysts s u c h a s A n n a F r e u d a n d M e l a n i e Klein, w h o s e theories (about libido and breasts) he contradicted. He had the good luck to meet a leading ethologist of t h e day, Robert H i n d e , w h o taught him about new research on animal behavior. Konrad Lorenz, for example, had demonstrated that ducklings, ten to twelve hours after they hatch, will lock onto whatever duck-sized thing m o v e s around in their environment and then follow it around for m o n t h s . 1 0 In nature this thing is always m o m , but

Love and Attachments ' J 27 in Lorenz's d e m o n s t r a t i o n s , anything he m o v e d a r o u n d w o r k e d — e v e n his own boots (with him in t h e m ) . T h i s visual "imprinting" m e c h a n i s m is q u i t e d i f f e r e n t f r o m w h a t h a p p e n s i n p e o p l e , but o n c e Bowlby b e g a n t o think a b o u t how evolution c r e a t e s m e c h a n i s m s t o m a k e s u r e that m o t h e r s a n d children stay together, the way w a s o p e n for an entirely n e w a p p r o a c h to h u m a n parent-child relationships. There's n o n e e d t o derive the b o n d f r o m milk, r e i n f o r c e m e n t , libido, o r a n y t h i n g e l s e . Rather, t h e a t t a c h m e n t o f m o t h e r a n d child is so e n o r m o u s l y i m p o r t a n t for the survival of t h e child that a d e d i c a t e d s y s t e m is built into m o t h e r a n d child in all s p e c i e s that rely on m a t e r n a l care. As Bowlby b e g a n to pay m o r e a t t e n t i o n to a n i m a l behavior, he s a w m a n y similarities b e t w e e n the behaviors of baby m o n k e y s a n d b a b y h u m a n s : clinging, s u c k i n g , crying w h e n l e f t b e h i n d , f o l l o w i n g whenever possible. All t h e s e behaviors f u n c t i o n e d in other p r i m a t e s to k e e p the child c l o s e to m o m , a n d all w e r e visible in h u m a n children, e v e n t h e "pick m e u p " signal o f u p s t r e t c h e d a r m s . In 1 9 5 7 , H i n d e learned a b o u t Harlow's not-yet-published c l o t h - m o t h e r s t u d i e s a n d told Bowlby, w h o wrote to Harlow a n d later visited h i m in W i s c o n s i n . T h e two m e n b e c a m e great allies a n d s u p p o r t e r s o f e a c h other. Bowlby, the great theorist, created the f r a m e w o r k that h a s unified m o s t s u b s e q u e n t r e s e a r c h on parent-child relations; a n d Harlow, the great experimentalist, provided the first irrefutable lab d e m o n s t r a t i o n s of the theory. Bowlby's grand synthesis is called a t t a c h m e n t theory. 1 1 It b o r r o w s f r o m the s c i e n c e o f c y b e r n e t i c s — t h e s t u d y o f h o w m e c h a n i c a l a n d b i o l o g i c a l s y s t e m s c a n regulate t h e m s e l v e s to a c h i e v e preset goals while the environm e n t a r o u n d a n d i n s i d e t h e m c h a n g e s . Bowlby's first m e t a p h o r w a s t h e s i m p l e s t cybernetic system of a l l — a t h e r m o s t a t that turns on a h e a t e r w h e n the t e m p e r a t u r e d r o p s below a set point. A t t a c h m e n t theory begins with the idea that two b a s i c goals g u i d e children's behavior: s a f e t y a n d exploration. A child w h o stays s a f e s u r v i v e s ; a child w h o explores a n d plays develops the skills a n d intelligence n e e d e d for adult life. (This is why all m a m m a l babies play; a n d the larger their frontal cortex, the m o r e they n e e d to play). 1 2 T h e s e two n e e d s are often o p p o s e d , however, so they are regulated by a kind of thermostat that monitors the level of a m b i e n t safety. W h e n the safety level is a d e q u a t e , the child plays a n d explores. But as soon as it drops too low, it's as though a switch w e r e thrown

114

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

and suddenly safety n e e d s b e c o m e p a r a m o u n t . T h e child s t o p s playing and m o v e s toward m o m . If m o m is u n r e a c h a b l e , the child cries, a n d with increasing d e s p e r a t i o n ; w h e n m o m r e t u r n s , the child s e e k s t o u c h , o r s o m e other reassurance, b e f o r e the s y s t e m c a n reset and play c a n r e s u m e . T h i s is an instance of the " d e s i g n " principle I d i s c u s s e d in c h a p t e r 2: o p p o s i n g syst e m s p u s h against e a c h other to reach a b a l a n c e point. (Fathers m a k e perfectly g o o d a t t a c h m e n t f i g u r e s , b u t B o w l b y f o c u s e d o n m o t h e r - c h i l d attachments, which usually get off to a f a s t e r start.) If you want to s e e the s y s t e m in a c t i o n , j u s t try e n g a g i n g a two-year-old in play. If you go to a friend's h o u s e a n d m e e t her child for t h e first time, it should take only a m i n u t e . T h e child f e e l s s e c u r e in his f a m i l i a r surroundings, and his m o t h e r f u n c t i o n s as w h a t B o w l b y called a " s e c u r e b a s e " — a n a t t a c h m e n t figure w h o s e p r e s e n c e g u a r a n t e e s safety, t u r n s o f f fear, a n d thereby e n a b l e s the^ explorations that l e a d to healthy d e v e l o p m e n t . But if your friend brings her son over to your h o u s e for the first t i m e , it will take longer. You'll probably have to walk a r o u n d your friend j u s t to find the little h e a d h i d i n g b e h i n d her t h i g h s . A n d t h e n , if y o u s u c c e e d in s t a r t i n g a g a m e — m a k i n g f a c e s a t him t o m a k e h i m l a u g h , p e r h a p s — j u s t w a t c h what h a p p e n s w h e n his m o t h e r goes to the k i t c h e n to get a glass of water. T h e thermostat clicks, the g a m e e n d s , a n d y o u r play partner s c a m p e r s off t o the kitchen, too. Harlow had s h o w n all the s a m e behavior in m o n k e y s . 1 3 Young m o n k e y s p l a c e d with their c l o t h m o t h e r in the c e n t e r of an o p e n room full of toys eventually c l i m b e d d o w n f r o m m o m to explore, but they returned o f t e n to t o u c h her a n d r e c o n n e c t . If the cloth m o t h e r w a s removed from the r o o m , all play s t o p p e d a n d frantic s c r e a m i n g e n s u e d . .When children are s e p a r a t e d f r o m their a t t a c h m e n t f i g u r e s for a long time, as in a hospital stay, they quickly d e s c e n d into passivity and despair. W h e n they are denied a stable a n d e n d u r i n g a t t a c h m e n t relationship (raised, for example, by a s u c c e s s i o n of foster p a r e n t s or nurses), they are likely to be d a m a g e d for life, Bowlby said. T h e y m i g h t b e c o m e the aloof loners or hopeless d i n g e r s that Bowlby had s e e n in his volunteer work. Bowlby's theory directly contradicted Watson as well as the F r e u d s ( S i g m u n d a n d Anna): If you want your children to grow up to be healthy and i n d e p e n d e n t , you should hold them, h u g t h e m , c u d d l e them, a n d love them. G i v e t h e m a s e c u r e b a s e and they will explore and then c o n q u e r the world on their o w n . T h e power of

Lcrve and Attachments

1

115

love over f e a r w a s well e x p r e s s e d i n t h e N e w T e s t a m e n t : " T h e r e i s n o f e a r i n love, but p e r f e c t love c a s t s o u t f e a r " ( I J O H N 4 : 1 8 ) .

T H E

P R O O F

IS

IN

THE

P A R T I N G

If you're g o i n g to c o n t r a d i c t t h e p r e v a i l i n g w i s d o m of y o u r day, y o u ' d b e t t e r have darn good evidence. Harlow's studies were darn good, but s k e p t i c s c l a i m e d they didn't a p p l y t o p e o p l e . B o w l b y n e e d e d m o r e p r o o f , a n d h e got i t f r o m a C a n a d i a n w o m a n w h o h a p p e n e d t o a n s w e r a n a d h e p l a c e d for a research assistant in 1950. Mary Ainsworth, who had moved to L o n d o n with her h u s b a n d , s p e n t t h r e e y e a r s w o r k i n g with B o w l b y o n his early s t u d ies o f h o s p i t a l i z e d c h i l d r e n . W h e n her h u s b a n d t o o k a n a c a d e m i c j o b i n U g a n d a , A i n s w o r t h w e n t with h i m a g a i n a n d t o o k a d v a n t a g e o f t h e o p p o r tunity t o m a k e c a r e f u l o b s e r v a t i o n s o f c h i l d r e n i n U g a n d a n v i l l a g e s . E v e n i n a c u l t u r e w h e r e w o m e n s h a r e m o t h e r i n g d u t i e s f o r all t h e c h i l d r e n i n the extended family household, Ainsworth observed a special b o n d bet w e e n a c h i l d a n d his o w n m o t h e r . T h e m o t h e r w a s m u c h m o r e e f f e c t i v e a s a s e c u r e b a s e than were other w o m e n . Ainsworth then moved to the J o h n s H o p k i n s U n i v e r s i t y i n B a l t i m o r e , a n d a f t e r that t o t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f Virginia, w h e r e s h e t h o u g h t a b o u t h o w t o t e s t Bowlby's i d e a s , a n d h e r o w n , about the mother-child relationship. In Bowlby's c y b e r n e t i c theory, t h e a c t i o n is in t h e c h a n g e s . You c a n ' t j u s t w a t c h a c h i l d play; y o u h a v e t o look a t h o w t h e e x p l o r a t i o n a n d s a f e t y g o a l s s h i f t i n r e s p o n s e t o c h a n g i n g c o n d i t i o n s . S o A i n s w o r t h d e v e l o p e d a little d r a m a , later c a l l e d t h e " S t r a n g e S i t u a t i o n , " a n d c a s t t h e c h i l d i n t h e s t a r ring r o l e . 1 4 I n e s s e n c e , s h e r e - c r e a t e d t h e e x p e r i m e n t s i n w h i c h H a r l o w h a d p l a c e d m o n k e y s i n a n o p e n r o o m with novel toys. I n t h e first s c e n e , t h e m o t h e r a n d h e r child e n t e r a c o m f o r t a b l e r o o m , full o f toys. M o s t child r e n in t h e e x p e r i m e n t s o o n crawl or t o d d l e o f f to e x p l o r e . In s c e n e t w o , a friendly w o m a n e n t e r s , talks with t h e m o t h e r for a f e w m i n u t e s , a n d t h e n j o i n s t h e c h i l d i n play. I n s c e n e t h r e e , t h e m o t h e r g e t s u p a n d l e a v e s t h e c h i l d a l o n e for a f e w m i n u t e s with t h e stranger. I n s c e n e four, s h e r e t u r n s a n d t h e s t r a n g e r l e a v e s . I n s c e n e five, t h e m o t h e r l e a v e s a g a i n , a n d t h e c h i l d i s all a l o n e i n t h e r o o m . I n s c e n e six, t h e s t r a n g e r r e t u r n s ; a n d i n

116

'i'll

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

s c e n e seven, the m o t h e r returns for g o o d . T h e play is d e s i g n e d to ratchet up the child's s t r e s s level in order to s e e how the child's a t t a c h m e n t s y s t e m m a n a g e s the s c e n e c h a n g e s . A i n s w o r t h f o u n d three c o m m o n patterns o f managing. I n a b o u t two-thirds o f A m e r i c a n c h i l d r e n , the s y s t e m d o e s j u s t what Bowlby said it s h o u l d , that is, shift s m o o t h l y b e t w e e n play a n d securityseeking as the situation c h a n g e s . C h i l d r e n following this pattern, called "secure" a t t a c h m e n t , r e d u c e or s t o p their play w h e n their m o t h e r s leave, a n d then s h o w anxiety, w h i c h the s t r a n g e r c a n n o t fully r e l i e v e . In t h e two s c e n e s where m o m returns, t h e s e children show delight, o f t e n moving toward her or t o u c h i n g her to reestablish c o n t a c t with their s e c u r e b a s e ; but then they quickly settle down a n d return to play. In the other third of children, the s c e n e c h a n g e s are m o r e a w k w a r d ; t h e s e children h a v e one of tvyo types of i n s e c u r e a t t a c h m e n t . T h e majority of t h e m don't s e e m to care very m u c h whether m o m c o m e s or g o e s , although s u b s e q u e n t physiological research s h o w e d that they are i n d e e d d i s t r e s s e d by the s e p a r a t i o n . Rather, these children s e e m to be s u p p r e s s i n g their distress by trying to m a n a g e it on their own instead of relying u p o n m o m for comfort. A i n s w o r t h called this pattern "avoidant" a t t a c h m e n t . T h e r e m a i n i n g children, a b o u t 12 percent in the United S t a t e s , are anxious a n d clingy throughout t h e study. T h e y bec o m e extremely u p s e t w h e n s e p a r a t e d f r o m m o m , they s o m e t i m e s resist her efforts to c o m f o r t t h e m w h e n s h e r e t u r n s , and they never fully settle down to play in the unfamiliar room. Ainsworth called this p a t t e r n "resistant." 1 5 Ainsworth first thought t h e s e d i f f e r e n c e s were c a u s e d entirely by good or bad mothering. S h e observed m o t h e r s at h o m e and f o u n d that those who were warm a n d highly responsive to their children were m o s t likely to have children who s h o w e d s e c u r e a t t a c h m e n t in the strange situation. T h e s e children had learned that they could c o u n t on their mothers, a n d were therefore the most bold and confident. M o t h e r s w h o were aloof a n d unresponsive were more likely to have avoidant children, w h o had learned not to expect m u c h help and comfort from m o m . M o t h e r s w h o s e r e s p o n s e s w e r e erratic and unpredictable were m o r e likely to have resistant children, w h o had learned that their efforts to elicit comfort s o m e t i m e s paid off, but s o m e t i m e s not. B u t whenever I hear a b o u t correlations b e t w e e n m o t h e r a n d child, I'm skeptical. Twin studies almost always s h o w that personality traits are d u e

Love and Attachments ' J 27 m o r e t o g e n e t i c s t h a n t o p a r e n t i n g . 1 6 M a y b e it's j u s t t h a t h a p p y w o m e n , t h o s e w h o w o n t h e cortical lottery, a r e w a r m a n d loving, a n d t h e y p a s s o n their h a p p y g e n e s t o their c h i l d r e n , w h o then s h o w u p a s s e c u r e l y a t t a c h e d . O r m a y b e t h e correlation r u n s i n r e v e r s e : C h i l d r e n d o h a v e s t a b l e i n b o r n t e m p e r a m e n t s 1 7 — s u n n y , cranky, o r a n x i o u s — a n d t h e s u n n y o n e s a r e j u s t s o m u c h f u n that their m o t h e r s want t o b e m o r e r e s p o n s i v e . M y s k e p t i c i s m i s b o l s t e r e d b y t h e f a c t that s t u d i e s d o n e a f t e r A i n s w o r t h ' s h o m e s t u d y h a v e g e n e r a l l y f o u n d only s m a l l c o r r e l a t i o n s b e t w e e n m o t h e r s ' r e s p o n s i v e n e s s a n d , t h e a t t a c h m e n t style o f their c h i l d r e n . 1 8 O n t h e o t h e r h a n d , t w i n s t u d ies h a v e f o u n d that g e n e s p l a y only a s m a l l role in d e t e r m i n i n g a t t a c h m e n t s t y l e . 1 9 So n o w we h a v e a real p u z z l e , a trait t h a t c o r r e l a t e s w e a k l y w i t h m o t h e r i n g a n d w e a k l y with g e n e s . W h e r e d o e s i t c o m e f r o m ? Bowlby's c y b e r n e t i c theory f o r c e s u s t o think o u t s i d e t h e u s u a l n a t u r e n u r t u r e d i c h o t o m y . You h a v e t o s e e a t t a c h m e n t style a s a p r o p e r t y t h a t e m e r g e s gradually d u r i n g t h o u s a n d s of interactions. A child with a p a r t i c u l a r (genetically i n f l u e n c e d ) t e m p e r a m e n t m a k e s b i d s for p r o t e c t i o n . A m o t h e r with a p a r t i c u l a r (genetically i n f l u e n c e d ) t e m p e r a m e n t r e s p o n d s , or d o e s n ' t r e s p o n d , b a s e d o n her m o o d , o n h o w overworked s h e is, o r o n w h a t c h i l d c a r e guru s h e h a s b e e n reading. N o o n e event i s particularly i m p o r t a n t , b u t over lime t h e child b u i l d s u p w h a t B o w l b y c a l l e d a n "internal w o r k i n g m o d e l " o f himself, his mother, a n d their relationship. If t h e m o d e l says that m o m is always t h e r e for you, you'll be b o l d e r in your play a n d explorations. R o u n d a f t e r round, p r e d i c t a b l e a n d reciprocal interactions b u i l d trust a n d s t r e n g t h e n t h e relationship. C h i l d r e n with s u n n y d i s p o s i t i o n s w h o have h a p p y m o t h e r s a r e almost certain to play the g a m e well a n d d e v e l o p a s e c u r e a t t a c h m e n t style, but a d e d i c a t e d m o t h e r c a n o v e r c o m e e i t h e r h e r o w n o r h e r c h i l d ' s l e s s pleasant disposition a n d f o s t e r a s e c u r e internal w o r k i n g m o d e l of their relalionship. (Everything I have r e p o r t e d a b o v e is true for f a t h e r s too, b u t m o s t children in all c u l t u r e s s p e n d m o r e t i m e with their m o t h e r s . )

IT'S

N O T

JUST

FOR

C H I L D R E N

W h e n I s t a r t e d writing this c h a p t e r , I p l a n n e d to review a t t a c h m e n t t h e o r y m a p a g e o r t w o a n d then m o v e o n t o t h e s t u f f t h a t w e a d u l t s r e a l l y c a r e

118

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

about. W h e n we hear the word "love," we think of r o m a n t i c love. We might hear a n o c c a s i o n a l s o n g a b o u t love b e t w e e n p a r e n t s a n d c h i l d r e n o n a country m u s i c radio station, b u t a n y w h e r e e l s e on the dial love m e a n s the kind of love you fall into a n d then struggle to hold onto. T h e m o r e I delved into the research, however, the m o r e I realized that Harlow, Bowlby, and Ainsworth c a n help u s u n d e r s t a n d g r o w n - u p love. S e e for yourself. W h i c h of the following s t a t e m e n t s b e s t d e s c r i b e s y o u in r o m a n t i c relationships? 1. I find it relatively easy to get c l o s e to others and am c o m f o r t a b l e d e p e n d i n g on t h e m a n d having t h e m d e p e n d on m e . I don't o f t e n worry a b o u t b e i n g a b a n d o n e d or a b o u t s o m e o n e g e t t i n g too c l o s e to m e . 2. I am somewhat uncomfortable b e i n g close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to d e p e n d on them. I am nervous w h e n a n y o n e g e t s too close, and o f t e n love partners want me to be more intimate t h a n I feel c o m f o r t a b l e being. 3. I find that others are r e l u c t a n t to get as c l o s e as I w o u l d like. I often worry that my p a r t n e r doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with m e . I want to m e r g e c o m p l e t e l y with a n o t h e r p e r s o n , a n d this desire s o m e t i m e s s c a r e s p e o p l e away. 2 0 T h e a t t a c h m e n t r e s e a r c h e r s C i n d y H a z a n a n d Phil S h a v e r d e v e l o p e d this s i m p l e test to s e e w h e t h e r Ainsworth's three styles w e r e still at work when a d u l t s try to f o r m relationships. T h e y are. S o m e p e o p l e c h a n g e style as they grow u p , but the great majority of a d u l t s c h o o s e t h e descriptor that m a t c h e d the way they were as a c h i l d . 2 1 ( T h e three c h o i c e s above corres p o n d t o A i n s w o r t h ' s s e c u r e , a v o i d a n t , a n d r e s i s t a n t p a t t e r n s . ) Internal w o r k i n g m o d e l s a r e fairly s t a b l e ( t h o u g h not u n c h a n g e a b l e ) , g u i d i n g p e o p l e in their m o s t i m p o r t a n t r e l a t i o n s h i p s t h r o u g h o u t their lives. A n d j u s t a s s e c u r e b a b i e s are h a p p i e r a n d m o r e w e l l - a d j u s t e d , s e c u r e adults enjoy happier, longer relationships as well as lower rates of d i v o r c e . 2 2 But d o e s adult romantic love really grow out of the s a m e psychological system that attaches children to their m o t h e r s ? To find out, H a z a n traced the process by which childhood a t t a c h m e n t c h a n g e s with age. Bowlby had b e e n specific about the four defining f e a t u r e s of a t t a c h m e n t relationships: 2 3

Lcrve and Attachments

1

119

1 . p r o x i m i t y m a i n t e n a n c e ( t h e child w a n t s a n d strives t o b e n e a r t h e parent) 2. separation distress (self-explanatory) 3 . s a f e h a v e n ( t h e child, w h e n f r i g h t e n e d o r d i s t r e s s e d , c o m e s t o t h e p a r e n t for c o m f o r t ) 4. secure base (the child u s e s the parent as a base from w h i c h to launch exploration and personal growth) H a z a n and her colleagues24 surveyed hundreds of p e o p l e from the a g e s o f six t h r o u g h eighty-two, a s k i n g w h i c h p e o p l e i n their lives f u l f i l l e d e a c h o f t h e f o u r d e f i n i n g f e a t u r e s o f a t t a c h m e n t (for e x a m p l e : " W h o m d o you m o s t like t o s p e n d t i m e w i t h ? " "WTiom d o y o u t u r n t o w h e n y o u a r e f e e l i n g u p s e t ? " ) . I f b a b i e s c o u l d t a k e t h e survey, t h e y w o u l d n o m i n a t e m o m o r d a d a s t h e a n s w e r t o all q u e s t i o n s , b u t b y t h e t i m e t h e y a r e e i g h t , c h i l d r e n w a n t m o s t strongly t o s p e n d t i m e with their p e e r s . ( W h e n c h i l d r e n r e s i s t l e a v i n g their f r i e n d s t o c o m e h o m e for dinner, that's proximity m a i n t e n a n c e . ) B e tween the ages of eight a n d fourteen, safe h a v e n e x p a n d s from p a r e n t s to i n c l u d e p e e r s a s a d o l e s c e n t s b e g i n t u r n i n g t o e a c h o t h e r for e m o t i o n a l s u p port. B u t it's o n l y a t t h e e n d o f a d o l e s c e n c e , a r o u n d the a g e s f i f t e e n t o s e v e n t e e n , that all f o u r c o m p o n e n t s o f a t t a c h m e n t c a n b e s a t i s f i e d b y a p e e r , s p e c i f i c a l l y a r o m a n t i c partner. T h e N e w T e s t a m e n t r e c o r d s t h i s n o r m a l t r a n s f e r e n c e o f a t t a c h m e n t : " F o r this r e a s o n a m a n shall l e a v e his f a t h e r jind m o t h e r a n d b e j o i n e d t o his w i f e , a n d t h e t w o shall b e c o m e o n e f l e s h . S o they a r e n o longer two, b u t o n e f l e s h " ( M A R K 1 0 : 7 — 9 ) . E v i d e n c e t h a t r o m a n t i c p a r t n e r s b e c o m e t r u e a t t a c h m e n t f i g u r e s , like p a r e n t s , c o m e s f r o m a review 2 5 , o f r e s e a r c h o n h o w p e o p l e c o p e w i t h t h e d e a t h of a s p o u s e , or a long s e p a r a t i o n . T h e review f o u n d t h a t a d u l t s e x p e r i e n c e the s a m e s e q u e n c e Bowlby had observed in children p l a c e d in hospitals: initial anxiety a n d p a n i c , f o l l o w e d by lethargy a n d d e p r e s s i o n , f o l l o w e d b y recovery t h r o u g h e m o t i o n a l d e t a c h m e n t . F u r t h e r m o r e , t h e r e v i e w f o u n d that c o n t a c t with c l o s e f r i e n d s w a s of little h e l p in b l u n t i n g t h e p a i n , b u t ren e w e d c o n t a c t with one's parents w a s m u c h m o r e e f f e c t i v e . O n c e you think a b o u t it, t h e similarities b e t w e e n r o m a n t i c r e l a t i o n s h i p s a n d parent-infant relationships are obvious. L o v e r s in t h e first r u s h of love s p e n d e n d l e s s hours i n f a c e - t o - f a c e m u t u a l gaze, holding e a c h o t h e r , n u z z l i n g

120

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

and cuddling, kissing, using baby voices, and enjoying the s a m e release of the hormone oxytocin that binds mothers and babies to each other in a kind of addiction. Oxytocin prepares f e m a l e m a m m a l s to give birth (triggering uterine contractions and milk release), but it also affects their brains, fostering nurturant behaviors and reducing feelings of stress when mothers are in contact with their children. 2 6 This powerful attachment of m o t h e r s to infants-—often called the "caregiving s y s t e m " — i s a different psychological s y s t e m from the a t t a c h m e n t system in infants, but the two s y s t e m s obviously evolved in tandem. T h e infant's distress signals are e f f e c t i v e only b e c a u s d they trigger caregiving desires in the mother. Oxytocin is the glue that m a k e s the two parts stick together. Oxytocin has b e e n oversimplified in the popular p r e s s as a hormone that m a k e s p e o p l e (even ornery men) suddenly sweet and affectionate, but more recent work s u g g e s t s that it c a n also be thought of as a stress hormone in w o m e n : 2 7 It is s e c r e t e d w h e n w o m e n are u n d e r stress and their attachment needs are not being m e t , c a u s i n g a need for contact with a loved one. On the other h a n d , w h e n oxytocin floods the brain (male or female) while two people are in skin-to-skin contact, the e f f e c t is soothing and calming, and it strengthens the b o n d between t h e m . For adults, the biggest rush of oxytocin—other than giving birth and n u r s i n g — c o m e s from sex. 2 8 Sexual activity, especially if it includes cuddling, extended touching, and orgasm, turns on many of the s a m e circuits that are u s e d to bond infants and parents. It's no wonder that childhood a t t a c h m e n t styles persist in adulthood: T h e whole a t t a c h m e n t system persists.

LOVE

AND

THE

S W E L L E D

H E A D

Adult love relationships are therefore built out of two ancient and interlocking systems: an attachment system that bonds child to mother and a caregiving system that b o n d s m o t h e r to child. T h e s e s y s t e m s are as old as mammals—older perhaps, b e c a u s e birds have them, too. But we still have to add something else to explain why sex is related to love. No problem; nature was motivating animals to s e e k e a c h other out for sex long before m a m m a l s or birds existed. T h e "mating system" is completely separate from the other

Lcrve and Attachments

1

121

iwo s y s t e m s , a n d it involves distinctive brain a r e a s a n d h o r m o n e s . 2 9 In s o m e a n i m a l s , s u c h a s rats, t h e m a t i n g s y s t e m d r a w s m a l e a n d f e m a l e t o g e t h e r j u s t long e n o u g h for t h e m t o c o p u l a t e . I n other s p e c i e s , s u c h a s e l e p h a n t s , m a l e a n d f e m a l e a r e d r a w n together for several d a y s — t h e duration o f t h e fertile p e r i o d — d u r i n g w h i c h t h e y s h a r e t e n d e r c a r e s s e s , play joyfully, a n d s h o w many other signs that remind h u m a n observers of m u t u a l i n f a t u a t i o n . 3 0 W h a t e v e r the duration, for m o s t m a m m a l s (other than h u m a n s ) t h e t h r e e syst e m s are s t r u n g together with p e r f e c t predictability. First, h o r m o n a l c h a n g e s in the f e m a l e a r o u n d the t i m e of ovulation trigger a d v e r t i s e m e n t s of h e r fertility: F e m a l e d o g s a n d c a t s , for e x a m p l e , r e l e a s e p h e r o m o n e s ; f e m a l e c h i m p a n z e e s a n d b o n o b o s exhibit e n o r m o u s red genital swellings. N e x t , t h e m a l e s b e c o m e t u r n e d o n a n d c o m p e t e (in s o m e s p e c i e s ) t o s e e w h o g e t s t o m a t e . The f e m a l e m a k e s s o m e sort of c h o i c e (in m o s t s p e c i e s ) , w h i c h in t u r n activates her o w n m a t i n g s y s t e m ; a n d then, s o m e m o n t h s later, birth a c t i v a t e s t h e caregiving s y s t e m in t h e m o t h e r a n d the a t t a c h m e n t s y s t e m in the. c h i l d . D a d i s left out i n t h e c o l d , w h e r e h e s p e n d s his t i m e s n i f f i n g for m o r e p h e r o m o n e s , or s c a n n i n g for m o r e swellings. S e x is for r e p r o d u c t i o n ; l a s t i n g love is for m o t h e r s a n d children. S o why are p e o p l e s o d i f f e r e n t ? H o w d i d h u m a n f e m a l e s c o m e to hide all signs of ovulation a n d get m e n to fall in love with t h e m a n d their children? Nobody knows, but the most plausible theory31 in my opinion b e g i n s with t h e e n o r m o u s e x p a n s i o n o f t h e h u m a n b r a i n t h a t I t a l k e d a b o u t i n c h a p t e r s 1 a n d 3 . W h e n the first h o m i n i d s split o f f f r o m t h e a n c e s t o r s o f m o d e r n c h i m p a n z e e s , their brains were no bigger than t h o s e of c h i m panzees. T h e s e human ancestors were basically just bipedal a p e s . B u t then, a r o u n d 3 million y e a r s a g o , s o m e t h i n g c h a n g e d . S o m e t h i n g i n t h e e n v i r o n m e n t , o r p e r h a p s a n i n c r e a s e i n tool u s e m a d e p o s s i b l e b y i n c r e a s i n g l y d e x trous h a n d s , m a d e i t highly a d a p t i v e t o h a v e a m u c h larger brain a n d m u c h higher intelligence. H o w e v e r , brain g r o w t h f a c e d a literal b o t t l e n e c k : t h e birth c a n a l . T h e r e w e r e p h y s i c a l limits t o h o w large a h e a d h o m i n i d f e m a l e s c o u l d give birth to a n d still have a pelvis t h a t w o u l d allow t h e m to w a l k u p right. A t least o n e s p e c i e s o f h o m i n i d — o u r a n c e s t o r — e v o l v e d a n o v e l t e c h n i q u e that got a r o u n d this limitation b y s e n d i n g b a b i e s o u t o f t h e u t e r u s long b e f o r e their b r a i n s w e r e d e v e l o p e d e n o u g h t o control their b o d i e s . I n all other p r i m a t e s p e c i e s , brain growth s l o w s d r a m a t i c a l l y s o o n a f t e r b i r t h

122

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

b e c a u s e the brain is mostly c o m p l e t e a n d ready for service; only s o m e fine tuning during a f e w years of c h i l d h o o d play a n d learning is n e e d e d . In hum a n s , however, the rapid r a t e o f e m b r y o n i c brain g r o w t h c o n t i n u e s for about two years after birth, followed by a slower but c o n t i n u o u s increase in brain weight for another twenty y e a r s . 3 2 H u m a n s are the only creatures on Earth w h o s e y o u n g are utterly h e l p l e s s for years, a n d heavily d e p e n d e n t on adult care for m o r e than a d e c a d e . G i v e n the e n o r m o u s b u r d e n that is the h u m a n child, w o m e n can't do it on their own. S t u d i e s of h u n t e r - g a t h e r e r s o c i e t i e s s h o w that m o t h e r s of young children cannot collect enough calories to keep themselves and their children alive. 3 3 T h e y rely on t h e large quantity of f o o d as well as the protection provided by m a l e s in their p e a k years of productivity. Big brains, so u s e f u l for g o s s i p and social m a n i p u l a t i o n (as well as h u n t i n g and gathering), c o u l d therefore have evolved only if m e n b e g a n c h i p p i n g in. But in the c o m p e t i t i v e g a m e of evolution, it's a losing m o v e for a m a l e to provide r e s o u r c e s to a child w h o is not his o w n . So a c t i v e f a t h e r s , m a l e - f e m a l e pair-bonds, m a l e sexual jealousy, a n d b i g - h e a d e d b a b i e s all c o - e v o l v e d — that is, a r o s e gradually but together. A m a n w h o felt s o m e desire to stay with a w o m a n , guard her fidelity, a n d c o n t r i b u t e to the rearing of their children c o u l d p r o d u c e s m a r t e r c h i l d r e n t h a n c o u l d his less paternal c o m p e t i tors. In e n v i r o n m e n t s in w h i c h i n t e l l i g e n c e w a s highly a d a p t i v e ( w h i c h m a y have b e e n all h u m a n e n v i r o n m e n t s , o n c e w e b e g a n m a k i n g tools), m a l e i n v e s t m e n t in children m a y h a v e p a i d off for the m e n t h e m s e l v e s (for their g e n e s , that is), a n d t h e r e f o r e b e c a m e m o r e c o m m o n with e a c h s u c c e s s i v e generation. B u t from what raw material c o u l d a tie evolve b e t w e e n m e n and w o m e n w h e r e o n e did not exist b e f o r e ? E v o l u t i o n c a n n o t d e s i g n anything f r o m scratch. Evolution is a p r o c e s s in w h i c h b o n e s a n d h o r m o n e s a n d behavioral p a t t e r n s that were already c o d e d for by the g e n e s a r e c h a n g e d slightly (by r a n d o m m u t a t i o n of t h o s e g e n e s ) a n d then s e l e c t e d if they c o n f e r an a d v a n t a g e on an individual. It didn't take m u c h c h a n g e to modify the att a c h m e n t s y s t e m , which every m a n a n d every w o m a n h a d u s e d as a child to a t t a c h to m o m , a n d h a v e it link up with the m a t i n g s y s t e m , which w a s already turning on in e a c h y o u n g p e r s o n at the t i m e of puberty.

Love and Attachments

'

J 27

G r a n t e d , this t h e o r y i s s p e c u l a t i v e ( t h e f o s s i l i z e d b o n e s o f a c o m m i t t e d f a t h e r look n o d i f f e r e n t f r o m t h o s e o f a n i n d i f f e r e n t o n e ) , b u t i t d o e s tie tog e t h e r neatly m a n y o f t h e d i s t i n c t i v e f e a t u r e s o f h u m a n life, s u c h a s o u r p a i n f u l c h i l d b i r t h , l o n g infancy, large b r a i n s , a n d h i g h i n t e l l i g e n c e . T h e theory c o n n e c t s t h e s e biological q u i r k s a b o u t h u m a n b e i n g s t o s o m e o f t h e most important emotional oddities of our species: the existence of strong a n d ( o f t e n ) e n d u r i n g e m o t i o n a l b o n d s b e t w e e n m e n a n d w o m e n , a n d between m e n and children. B e c a u s e m e n a n d w o m e n in a relationship have m a n y c o n f l i c t i n g i n t e r e s t s , e v o l u t i o n a r y theory d o e s not v i e w love relationships as harmonious partnerships for childrearing;34 but a universal feature o f h u m a n c u l t u r e s i s that m e n a n d w o m e n f o r m r e l a t i o n s h i p s i n t e n d e d t o last for y e a r s ( m a r r i a g e ) that c o n s t r a i n their s e x u a l b e h a v i o r i n s o m e way a n d i n s t i t u t i o n a l i z e their ties t o c h i l d r e n a n d t o e a c h other.

T w o

L O V E S ,

T W O

E R R O R S

f a k e o n e a n c i e n t a t t a c h m e n t s y s t e m , mix with a n e q u a l m e a s u r e o f caregiving s y s t e m , throw in a m o d i f i e d m a t i n g s y s t e m a n d voila, that's r o m a n t i c love. I s e e m t o h a v e lost s o m e t h i n g h e r e ; r o m a n t i c love i s s o m u c h m o r e t h a n t h e s u m o f its p a r t s . I t i s a n e x t r a o r d i n a r y p s y c h o l o g i c a l s t a t e that l a u n c h e d t h e T r o j a n war, i n s p i r e d m u c h o f t h e w o r l d ' s b e s t ( a n d worst) music and literature, and gave many of us the most p e r f e c t d a y s of our lives. B u t I t h i n k that r o m a n t i c love is w i d e l y m i s u n d e r s t o o d , a n d looking a t its p s y c h o l o g i c a l s u b c o m p o n e n t s c a n c l e a r u p s o m e p u z z l e s a n d g u i d e the w a y a r o u n d love's p i t f a l l s . In s o m e c o r n e r s of universities, t h e p r o f e s s o r s tell their s t u d e n t s that rom a n t i c love is a s o c i a l c o n s t r u c t i o n , i n v e n t e d by t h e F r e n c h t r o u b a d o u r s of the twelfth c e n t u r y with their stories of chivalry, i d e a l i z a t i o n of w o m e n , a n d t h e u p l i f t i n g a c h e o f u n c o n s u m m a t e d d e s i r e . It's c e r t a i n l y t r u e that cult u r e s c r e a t e their o w n u n d e r s t a n d i n g s o f p s y c h o l o g i c a l p h e n o m e n a , b u t m a n y o f t h o s e p h e n o m e n a will o c c u r r e g a r d l e s s o f w h a t p e o p l e t h i n k about t h e m . (For e x a m p l e , d e a t h is socially c o n s t r u c t e d by every c u l t u r e , but bodies d i e w i t h o u t c o n s u l t i n g t h o s e c o n s t r u c t i o n s . ) A survey of e t h n o g r a p h i e s

124

'i'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

f r o m 166 h u m a n c u l t u r e s 3 5 f o u n d c l e a r e v i d e n c e o f r o m a n t i c love i n 8 8 percent of t h e m ; for the rest, the e t h n o g r a p h i c record w a s too thin to he sure either way. W h a t the troubadours did give us is a particular myth of "true" l o v e — t h e idea that real love b u r n s brightly a n d passionately, and then it j u s t k e e p s on burning until d e a t h , a n d then it j u s t k e e p s on burning after death as the lovers are reunited in heaven. T h i s myth s e e m s to have grown a n d d i f f u s e d in m o d e r n t i m e s into a s e t of interrelated ideas a b o u t love a n d marriage. As I see it, the m o d e r n myth of true love involves t h e s e beliefs: T r u e love is p a s s i o n a t e love that never f a d e s ; if you are in true love, you should marry that person; if love e n d s , you s h o u l d leave that p e r s o n b e c a u s e it was not true love; and if you c a n find the right person, you will have true love forever. You might not believe this myth yourself, particularly if you are older than thirty; but many y o u n g p e o p l e in Western nations a r e raised on it, a n d it a c t s as an ideal that they u n c o n s c i o u s l y carry with them even if they s c o f f at it. (It's not j u s t Hollywood that p e r p e t r a t e s the myth; Bollywood, the Indian film industry, is even m o r e romanticized.) But if true love is d e f i n e d as eternal p a s s i o n , it is biologically i m p o s s i b l e . To s e e this, a n d to save the dignity of love, you h a v e to u n d e r s t a n d the diff e r e n c e b e t w e e n two k i n d s o f love: p a s s i o n a t e a n d c o m p a n i o n a t e . According to the love r e s e a r c h e r s E l l e n B e r s c h e i d and E l a i n e Walster, p a s s i o n a t e love is a "wildly e m o t i o n a l s t a t e in w h i c h tender a n d sexual feelings, elation a n d pain, anxiety a n d relief, a l t r u i s m a n d j e a l o u s y coexist in a c o n f u s i o n of f e e l i n g s . " 3 6 P a s s i o n a t e love is t h e love you fall into. It is w h a t h a p p e n s w h e n C u p i d ' s golden arrow hits your heart, a n d , in an instant, the world around you is t r a n s f o r m e d . You crave union with your beloved. You want, somehow, to crawl into e a c h other. T h i s is t h e urge that Plato c a p t u r e d in The Symposium, in w h i c h A r i s t o p h a n e s ' toast to love is a myth a b o u t its origins. A r i s t o p h a n e s says that p e o p l e originally h a d four legs, four a r m s , and two f a c e s , but o n e day the g o d s felt threatened by the p o w e r and a r r o g a n c e of h u m a n b e i n g s and d e c i d e d to c u t t h e m in half. E v e r s i n c e that day, p e o p l e h a v e w a n d e r e d the world s e a r c h i n g for their other halves. ( S o m e p e o p l e originally h a d two m a l e f a c e s , s o m e two f e m a l e , a n d the rest a m a l e a n d a f e m a l e , thereby e x p l a i n i n g the diversity of sexual orientation.) As proof, A r i s t o p h a n e s a s k s us to i m a g i n e that H e p h a e s t u s (the god of fire

Love and Attachments

125 I

a n d h e n c e o f b l a c k s m i t h s ) w e r e t o c o m e u p o n t w o l o v e r s a s t h e y lay together in an e m b r a c e , a n d say to t h e m : W h a t i s i t you h u m a n b e i n g s really w a n t f r o m e a c h o t h e r ? . . . I s t h i s your heart's d e s i r e , t h e n — f o r the t w o o f y o u t o b e c o m e p a r t s o f t h e s a m e w h o l e , a s near a s c a n be, a n d never t o s e p a r a t e , day o r night? B e c a u s e i f that's your d e s i r e , I'd like to weld you t o g e t h e r a n d join y o u i n t o s o m e thing that i s naturally w h o l e , s o that t h e t w o o f y o u are m a d e into o n e . Then t h e t w o o f y o u w o u l d s h a r e - o n e life, a s long a s you lived, b e c a u s e you w o u l d b e o n e b e i n g , a n d b y t h e s a m e t o k e n , w h e n y o u d i e d , y o u w o u l d b e o n e a n d not two i n H a d e s , h a v i n g d i e d a single d e a t h . L o o k a t your love, a n d s e e if this is w h a t you d e s i r e . 3 7 A r i s t o p h a n e s s a y s that no lovers w o u l d turn d o w n s u c h an offer. B e r s c h e i d a n d W a l s t e r d e f i n e c o m p a n i o n a t e love, i n c o n t r a s t , a s " t h e a f f e c t i o n w e f e e l f o r t h o s e w i t h w h o m o u r lives a r e d e e p l y i n t e r t w i n e d . " 3 8 C o m p a n i o n a t e love g r o w s s l o w l y o v e r t h e y e a r s a s l o v e r s a p p l y t h e i r a t t a c h m e n t a n d c a r e g i v i n g s y s t e m s t o e a c h o t h e r , a n d a s t h e y b e g i n t o rely u p o n , c a r e for, a n d trust e a c h other. I f t h e m e t a p h o r for p a s s i o n a t e l o v e i s f i r e , I he m e t a p h o r for c o m p a n i o n a t e love is v i n e s growing, i n t e r t w i n i n g , a n d gradually binding two p e o p l e together. T h e contrast of wild a n d c a l m f o r m s o f love h a s o c c u r r e d t o p e o p l e i n m a n y c u l t u r e s . A s a w o m a n i n a h u n t e r g a t h e r e r t r i b e i n N a m i b i a p u t it: " W h e n t w o p e o p l e c o m e t o g e t h e r t h e i r h e a r t s a r e o n f i r e a n d t h e i r p a s s i o n i s very g r e a t . A f t e r a w h i l e , t h e f i r e c o o l s a n d that's h o w i t s t a y s . " 3 9 P a s s i o n a t e love is a drug. Its s y m p t o m s o v e r l a p with t h o s e of h e r o i n ( e u phoric w e l l - b e i n g , s o m e t i m e s d e s c r i b e d i n s e x u a l t e r m s ) a n d c o c a i n e ( e u p h o ria c o m b i n e d with g i d d i n e s s a n d e n e r g y ) . 4 0 It's n o w o n d e r : P a s s i o n a t e l o v e alters t h e activity o f several p a r t s o f t h e b r a i n , i n c l u d i n g p a r t s that a r e involved i n t h e r e l e a s e o f d o p a m i n e . 4 1 A n y e x p e r i e n c e that f e e l s i n t e n s e l y g o o d r e l e a s e s d o p a m i n e , a n d t h e d o p a m i n e link i s c r u c i a l h e r e b e c a u s e d r u g s t h a t artificially r a i s e d o p a m i n e levels, a s d o h e r o i n a n d c o c a i n e , p u t y o u a t r i s k o f a d d i c t i o n . I f y o u t a k e c o c a i n e o n c e a m o n t h , y o u won't b e c o m e a d d i c t e d , b u t il you t a k e it every day, y o u will. No d r u g c a n k e e p y o u c o n t i n u o u s l y h i g h . 'I'he brain r e a c t s t o a c h r o n i c s u r p l u s o f d o p a m i n e , d e v e l o p s n e u r o c h e m i c a l

126

'i'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

reactions that o p p o s e it, and restores its own equilibrium. At that point, tolera n c e h a s set in, and when the d r u g is withdrawn, the brain is unbalanced in the opposite direction: pain, lethargy, a n d despair follow withdrawal from cocaine or from passionate love. So if p a s s i o n a t e love is a d r u g — l i t e r a l l y a d r u g — i t h a s to wear off eventually. N o b o d y c a n stay high forever (although if you find p a s s i o n a t e love in a long-distance relationship, it's like t a k i n g c o c a i n e o n c e a m o n t h ; the d r u g c a n retain its p o t e n c y b e c a u s e of your s u f f e r i n g b e t w e e n d o s e s ) . If p a s s i o n ate love is allowed to run its j o y o u s c o u r s e , there m u s t c o m e a day when it w e a k e n s . O n e of the lovers usually f e e l s the c h a n g e first. It's like w a k i n g up from a s h a r e d d r e a m to s e e your s l e e p i n g partner drooling. In those mom e n t s of returning sanity, the lover m a y s e e flaws a n d d e f e c t s to which s h e was blind b e f o r e . T h e beloved falls off the p e d e s t a l , a n d t h e n , b e c a u s e our m i n d s are so sensitive to c h a n g e s , her c h a n g e in f e e l i n g c a n take on exaggerated i m p o r t a n c e . " O h , m y G o d , " s h e thinks, " t h e m a g i c h a s worn o f f — I'm not in love with him a n y m o r e . " If s h e s u b s c r i b e s to the myth of true love, s h e might even c o n s i d e r b r e a k i n g up with h i m . A f t e r all, if the m a g i c e n d e d , it can't be true love. B u t if s h e d o e s e n d the relationship, s h e might be m a k i n g a m i s t a k e . P a s s i o n a t e love d o e s not turn into c o m p a n i o n a t e love. P a s s i o n a t e love and c o m p a n i o n a t e love are two s e p a r a t e p r o c e s s e s , a n d they have different time c o u r s e s . T h e i r diverging p a t h s p r o d u c e two d a n g e r p o i n t s , two p l a c e s where m a n y p e o p l e m a k e grave m i s t a k e s . In f i g u r e 6 . 1 , I've drawn out how the intensity of p a s s i o n a t e a n d c o m p a n i o n a t e love might vary in o n e person's relationship over the c o u r s e of six m o n t h s . P a s s i o n a t e love ignites, it burns, and it c a n reach its m a x i m u m t e m p e r a t u r e within days. D u r i n g its w e e k s or m o n t h s of m a d n e s s , lovers can't help b u t think a b o u t marriage, and o f t e n they talk a b o u t it, too. S o m e t i m e s they even a c c e p t H e p h a e s t u s ' s offer a n d c o m m i t to marriage. T h i s is o f t e n a m i s t a k e . N o b o d y c a n think straight w h e n high on p a s s i o n a t e love. T h e rider is as b e s o t t e d as the elephant. People are not allowed to sign c o n t r a c t s w h e n they are drunk, and I s o m e t i m e s wish w e c o u l d p r e v e n t p e o p l e f r o m p r o p o s i n g marriage w h e n they are high on p a s s i o n a t e love b e c a u s e o n c e a m a r r i a g e proposal is acc e p t e d , f a m i l i e s are n o t i f i e d , a n d a d a t e is set, it's very h a r d to s t o p the train. T h e d r u g is likely to w e a r off at s o m e p o i n t d u r i n g the stressful wed-

Love and Attachments '

Fig. 6 . 1

J 27

T h e T i m e C o u r s e o f the Two K i n d s o f L o v e ( S h o r t R u n )

d i n g p l a n n i n g p h a s e , a n d m a n y o f t h e s e c o u p l e s will w a l k d o w n t h e a i s l e with d o u b t i n their h e a r t s a n d d i v o r c e i n their f u t u r e . T h e o t h e r d a n g e r p o i n t i s t h e day t h e d r u g w e a k e n s its grip. P a s s i o n a t e love d o e s n ' t e n d o n t h a t day, b u t t h e crazy a n d o b s e s s i o n a l h i g h p e r i o d d o e s . T h e rider r e g a i n s his s e n s e s a n d c a n , for t h e first t i m e , a s s e s s w h e r e t h e e l e p h a n t h a s t a k e n t h e m . B r e a k u p s o f t e n h a p p e n a t this p o i n t , a n d for m a n y c o u p l e s that's a g o o d thing. C u p i d i s u s u a l l y p o r t r a y e d a s a n i m p i s h fellow b e c a u s e he's s o f o n d o f j o i n i n g t o g e t h e r t h e m o s t i n a p p r o p r i a t e c o u ples. B u t s o m e t i m e s b r e a k i n g u p i s p r e m a t u r e , b e c a u s e i f t h e l o v e r s h a d s t u c k it o u t , if they h a d given c o m p a n i o n a t e love a c h a n c e to grow, t h e y might h a v e f o u n d t r u e love. T r u e love e x i s t s , I b e l i e v e , b u t it is n o t — c a n n o t b e — p a s s i o n t h a t l a s t s forever. T r u e love, t h e l o v e t h a t u n d e r g i r d s s t r o n g m a r r i a g e s , i s s i m p l y s t r o n g c o m p a n i o n a t e love, with s o m e a d d e d p a s s i o n , b e t w e e n t w o p e o p l e who a r e firmly c o m m i t t e d t o e a c h o t h e r . 4 2 C o m p a n i o n a t e love l o o k s w e a k i n t h e g r a p h a b o v e b e c a u s e i t c a n never a t t a i n t h e i n t e n s i t y o f p a s s i o n a t e love. B u t i f w e c h a n g e t h e t i m e s c a l e f r o m six m o n t h s t o sixty y e a r s , a s i n I lie next f i g u r e , it is p a s s i o n a t e love that s e e m s t r i v i a l — a f l a s h in t h e p a n — while c o m p a n i o n a t e love c a n last a l i f e t i m e . W h e n we a d m i r e a c o u p l e still In love on their fiftieth anniversary, it is this b l e n d of l o v e s — m o s t l y c o m panionate—that we are admiring.

128

Fig. 6.2

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

T h e Time C o u r s e of the Two Kinds of Love ( L o n g Run)

W H Y

D O

P H I L O S O P H E R S

H A T E

L O V E ?

If you are in p a s s i o n a t e love a n d w a n t to c e l e b r a t e your p a s s i o n , read poetry. If your ardor h a s c a l m e d a n d you w a n t to u n d e r s t a n d your evolving relationship, read psychology. B u t if you h a v e j u s t e n d e d a relationship and would like to believe you are b e t t e r off without love, r e a d philosophy. O h , there is plenty of work extolling t h e v i r t u e s of love, b u t w h e n you look closely, you find a d e e p a m b i v a l e n c e . L o v e of G o d , love of neighbor, love of truth, love of b e a u t y — a l l of t h e s e are u r g e d u p o n us. B u t the p a s s i o n a t e , erotic love of a real person? H e a v e n s no! In the ancient E a s t , the problem with love is obvious: Love is attachment. Attachments, particularly sensual a n d sexual a t t a c h m e n t s , m u s t be broken to permit spiritual progress. B u d d h a said, " S o long as lustful desire, however small, of m a n for women is not controlled, so long the mind of m a n is not free, but is bound like a calf tied to a cow." 4 3 'The Laws of Manu, an ancient H i n d u treatise on how y o u n g B r a h m i n m e n s h o u l d live, w a s even m o r e negative about women: "It is the very nature of w o m e n to corrupt m e n here on earth." 4 4 Even C o n f u c i u s , who was not f o c u s e d on breaking a t t a c h m e n t s , saw romantic love and sexuality as threats to the higher virtues of filial piety and loyalty to one's superiors: "I have never s e e n anyone who loved virtue as m u c h as sex." 4 5 (Of course, B u d d h i s m a n d H i n d u i s m are diverse, a n d both have changed with time and place. S o m e modern leaders, s u c h as the Dalai L a m a , a c c e p t roman-

Love and Attachments ' J 27 tic love a n d its a t t e n d a n t sexuality as an i m p o r t a n t part of life. B u t t h e spirit of the a n c i e n t religious a n d philosophical texts is m u c h m o r e n e g a t i v e . ) 4 6 In t h e W e s t , t h e story is a bit d i f f e r e n t : L o v e is w i d e l y c e l e b r a t e d by the p o e t s f r o m H o m e r o n w a r d s . L o v e l a u n c h e s the d r a m a o f t h e Iliad, a n d the Odyssey e n d s with t h e lusty return o f O d y s s e u s t o P e n e l o p e . W h e n t h e G r e e k a n d R o m a n p h i l o s o p h e r s g e t h o l d o f r o m a n t i c love, h o w e v e r , t h e y usually either d e s p i s e it or try to turn it into s o m e t h i n g e l s e . Plato's Symposium, for e x a m p l e , is an entire d i a l o g u e d e v o t e d to the p r a i s e of love. B u t y o u never k n o w w h a t position Plato h o l d s until S o c r a t e s s p e a k s , a n d w h e n S o c r a t e s s p e a k s , h e t r a s h e s the e u l o g i e s t o love that A r i s t o p h a n e s a n d o t h e r s have j u s t given. H e d e s c r i b e s h o w love p r o d u c e s a " d i s e a s e " a m o n g t h e anim a l s : " F i r s t they a r e s i c k for i n t e r c o u r s e with e a c h other, t h e n for n u r t u r i n g their y o u n g . " 4 7 ( N o t e : M a t i n g s y s t e m l e a d s t o caregiving s y s t e m . ) F o r P l a t o , w h e n h u m a n love r e s e m b l e s a n i m a l love, it is d e g r a d i n g . T h e love of a m a n for a w o m a n , as it a i m s at p r o c r e a t i o n , is t h e r e f o r e a d e b a s e d kind of love. Plato's S o c r a t e s then s h o w s h o w love c a n t r a n s c e n d its a n i m a l o r i g i n s b y a i m i n g a t s o m e t h i n g higher. W h e n a n o l d e r m a n loves a y o u n g m a n , their love c a n b e e l e v a t i n g f o r b o t h b e c a u s e t h e o l d e r m a n c a n , i n b e t w e e n r o u n d s o f i n t e r c o u r s e , t e a c h t h e y o u n g m a n a b o u t virtue a n d p h i l o s o p h y . B u t e v e n this love m u s t be a s t e p p i n g s t o n e only: W h e n a m a n loves a b e a u tiful b o d y h e m u s t l e a m t o love b e a u t y i n g e n e r a l , not t h e b e a u t y o f o n e p a r ticular body. H e m u s t c o m e t o f i n d b e a u t y i n m e n ' s s o u l s , a n d t h e n i n i d e a s a n d philosophy. U l t i m a t e l y h e c o m e s t o k n o w the f o r m o f b e a u t y itself: T h e result is that he will see the beauty of knowledge and be looking mainly not at beauty in a single e x a m p l e — a s a servant would w h o favored the beauty of a little boy or a man or a single c u s t o m . . . but the lover is turned to the great sea of beauty, and, gazing upon this, he gives birth to m a n y gloriously beautiful ideas and theories, in unstinting love of wisdom. . . , 4 8 T h e e s s e n t i a l n a t u r e o f love a s a n a t t a c h m e n t b e t w e e n t w o p e o p l e i s rej e c t e d ; love c a n b e d i g n i f i e d only w h e n i t i s c o n v e r t e d i n t o a n a p p r e c i a t i o n of b e a u t y in g e n e r a l . T h e later S t o i c s a l s o o b j e c t t o t h e p a r t i c u l a r i t y o f love, t o t h e w a y i t p l a c e s t h e s o u r c e o f one's h a p p i n e s s i n t h e h a n d s o f a n o t h e r p e r s o n , w h o m

130

' i ' L LH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

o n e c a n n o t fully control. E v e n the E p i c u r e a n s , w h o s e philosophy was b a s e d on the pursuit of p l e a s u r e , v a l u e f r i e n d s h i p but o p p o s e romantic love. In De Rerutn Natura, the philosophical poet L u c r e t i u s lays out the fullest surviving s t a t e m e n t of the philosophy of E p i c u r u s . T h e e n d of B o o k 4 is widely known as the " T i r a d e Against L o v e , " in which L u c r e t i u s c o m p a r e s love to a wound, a cancer, a n d a s i c k n e s s . T h e E p i c u r e a n s were experts on desire and its satisfaction; they o b j e c t e d to p a s s i o n a t e love b e c a u s e it cannot be satisfied: When two lie tasting, life's

bloom,

limb by limb

when flesh gives foretaste

of delight,

and Venus is ready to sow the female field, they hungrily seize each other,

mouth to mouth

the spittle flows, they pant, press tooth to l i p vainly, for they can chafe no substance off nor pierce and be gone,

one body in the other.

For often this seems to be their wish,

their goal,

so greedily do they cling in passion's bond.49

Christianity brought forward m a n y of these classical f e a r s of love. J e s u s c o m m a n d s his followers to love G o d , u s i n g the same"words as M o s e s ("With all your heart, and with all your soul, a n d with all your might," M A T T H E W , 2 2 : 3 7 , in referring to D E U T E R O N O M Y 6 : 5 ) . J e s u s ' s e c o n d c o m m a n d m e n t is to love o n e another: "You shall love your neighbor a s yourself" ( M A T T H E W 2 . 2 : 3 9 ) . But what c a n it m e a n to love-others as o n e loves o n e s e l f ? T h e psychological origins of love are in a t t a c h m e n t to parents a n d sexual partners. We do not attach to ourselves; we do not s e e k security a n d fulfillment in ourselves. W h a t J e s u s s e e m s to m e a n is that we should value others as m u c h as we value ourselves; we s h o u l d be kind and g e n e r o u s even to strangers and even to our e n e m i e s . T h i s uplifting m e s s a g e is relevant to the issues of reciprocity and hypocrisy that I talked a b o u t in c h a p t e r s 3 a n d 4, but it has little to do with the psychological s y s t e m s I have b e e n covering in this chapter. Rather, Christian love has f o c u s e d on two key words:- caritas a n d agape. Caritas (the origin of our word "charity") is a kind of intense b e n e v o l e n c e and good will; agape is a G r e e k word that refers to a kind of selfless, spiritual love

Lcrve and Attachments

1

131

with no sexuality, no clinging to a particular other p e r s o n . ( O f c o u r s e , C h r i s tianity e n d o r s e s the love of a m a n a n d a w o m a n within m a r r i a g e , b u t e v e n this love is idealized as t h e love of C h r i s t for his church—EPHESIANS 5:25) As in Plato, C h r i s t i a n love is love stripped of its e s s e n t i a l particularity, its foc u s on a specific other p e r s o n . L o v e is r e m o d e l e d into a g e n e r a l a t t i t u d e toward a m u c h larger, e v e n infinite, c l a s s of o b j e c t s . C a r i t a s a n d a g a p e a r e b e a u t i f u l , b u t they a r e not r e l a t e d t o o r d e r i v e d Irom the k i n d s of love that p e o p l e need. A l t h o u g h I w o u l d like to live in a world in which e v e r y o n e radiates b e n e v o l e n c e toward everyone e l s e , I w o u l d rather live in a world in w h i c h there w a s at least o n e p e r s o n w h o l o v e d me specifically, a n d w h o m I loVed in return. S u p p o s e H a r l o w h a d r a i s e d r h e s u s m o n k e y s u n d e r two c o n d i t i o n s . For the first g r o u p , e a c h w a s r e a r e d in its own c a g e , but e a c h day H a r l o w p u t in a n e w but very n u r t u r i n g a d u l t f e m a l e m o n k e y as a c o m p a n i o n . For the s e c o n d g r o u p , e a c h w a s r e a r e d in a c a g e with its o w n mother, a n d then e a c h day H a r l o w p u t in a n e w a n d not p a r ticularly n i c e other monkey. T h e m o n k e y s in t h e first g r o u p got s o m e t h i n g like c a r i t a s — b e n e v o l e n c e w i t h o u t p a r t i c u l a r i t y — a n d they w o u l d p r o b a b l y e m e r g e e m o t i o n a l l y d a m a g e d . W i t h o u t h a v i n g f o r m e d a n a t t a c h m e n t relationship, they w o u l d likely be f e a r f u l of n e w e x p e r i e n c e s a n d u n a b l e to love o r c a r e for other m o n k e y s . T h e m o n k e y s i n the s e c o n d g r o u p w o u l d h a v e h a d s o m e t h i n g c l o s e r to a n o r m a l r h e s u s m o n k e y c h i l d h o o d , a n d w o u l d p r o b a b l y e m e r g e healthy a n d a b l e t o love. M o n k e y s a n d p e o p l e n e e d c l o s e a n d longlasting a t t a c h m e n t s to p a r t i c u l a r o t h e r s . In c h a p t e r 9, I will p r o p o s e that iigape is real, b u t u s u a l l y short-lived. It c a n c h a n g e lives a n d e n r i c h lives, b u t it c a n n o t s u b s t i t u t e for the k i n d s of love b a s e d on a t t a c h m e n t s . There a r e several r e a s o n s why real h u m a n love m i g h t m a k e p h i l o s o p h e r s u n c o m f o r t a b l e . First, p a s s i o n a t e love i s n o t o r i o u s for m a k i n g p e o p l e illogical a n d irrational, a n d W e s t e r n p h i l o s o p h e r s h a v e l o n g t h o u g h t t h a t m o r a l i t y is g r o u n d e d in rationality. (In c h a p t e r 8, I will a r g u e a g a i n s t this view.) L o v e is a kind of insanity, a n d m a n y p e o p l e h a v e , while c r a z e d with p a s s i o n , ruined their lives a n d t h o s e o f o t h e r s . M u c h o f t h e p h i l o s o p h i c a l o p p o s i t i o n t o love m a y t h e r e f o r e b e w e l l - i n t e n t i o n e d a d v i c e b y t h e s a g e s t o t h e y o u n g : S h u t your e a r s t o t h e sirens' d e c e i t f u l s o n g . I think, however, that at least two less benevolent m o t i v a t i o n s are at work. First, t h e r e m a y be a kind of hypocritical self-interest in w h i c h t h e

132

'i'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

older generation says, " D o as we say, not as we did." B u d d h a and St. Augustine, for e x a m p l e , drank their fill of p a s s i o n a t e love as y o u n g m e n and c a m e out only m u c h later as o p p o n e n t s of sexual a t t a c h m e n t s . M o r a l c o d e s are d e s i g n e d to k e e p order within society; they urge us to rein in our desires and play our assigned roles. R o m a n t i c love is notorious for m a k i n g y o u n g p e o p l e give less than a d a m n about the rules a n d c o n v e n t i o n s of their society, about caste lines, o r a b o u t f e u d s b e t w e e n C a p u l e t s a n d M o n t a g u e s . S o the sages' c o n s t a n t a t t e m p t s t o r e d e f i n e love a s s o m e t h i n g spiritual a n d p r o s o c i a l sound to me like the moralism of p a r e n t s who, having enjoyed a variety of love affairs w h e n they were young, n o w try to explain to their daughter why she should save herself for marriage. A .second motivation is the fear of d e a t h . J a m i e G o l d e n b e r g 5 0 at the University of C o l o r a d o has shown that w h e n p e o p l e are a s k e d to reflect on their own mortality, they find the physical a s p e c t s of sexuality m o r e disgusting, and they are less likely to a g r e e with an e s s a y a r g u i n g for the essential similarity of p e o p l e and a n i m a l s . G o l d e n b e r g a n d her c o l l e a g u e s believe that people in all cultures have a pervasive f e a r of d e a t h . H u m a n beings all know that they are going do die, a n d so h u m a n c u l t u r e s go to great lengths to construct s y s t e m s of m e a n i n g that dignify life a n d c o n v i n c e p e o p l e that their lives have more m e a n i n g than t h o s e of the a n i m a l s that die all around t h e m . T h e extensive regulation of sex in m a n y c u l t u r e s , the a t t e m p t to link love to G o d a n d then to c u t away the sex, is part of an e l a b o r a t e d e f e n s e against the gnawing fear of mortality. 5 1 If this is true, if the s a g e s h a v e a variety of u n s t a t e d r e a s o n s for w a r n i n g us away from p a s s i o n a t e love a n d a t t a c h m e n t s of m a n y k i n d s , p e r h a p s we s h o u l d be selective in h e e d i n g their a d v i c e . P e r h a p s we n e e d to look at our own lives, lived in a world very d i f f e r e n t f r o m theirs, a n d a l s o at the evid e n c e a b o u t whether a t t a c h m e n t s a r e g o o d or b a d for us.

F R E E D O M H A Z A R D O U S

T O

C A N YOUR

B E H E A L T H

I n the l a t e n i n e t e e n t h century, o n e o f the f o u n d e r s o f sociology, E m i l e D u r k h e i m , p e r f o r m e d a scholarly m i r a c l e . H e g a t h e r e d d a t a from a c r o s s

Lcrve and Attachments

1 33

E u r o p e t o s t u d y t h e f a c t o r s that a f f e c t t h e s u i c i d e rate. H i s f i n d i n g s c a n h e s u m m a r i z e d in one word: constraints. No matter how he parsed the data, people who had fewer social constraints, b o n d s , and obligations w e r e more likely to kill t h e m s e l v e s . D u r k h e i m l o o k e d at the " d e g r e e of i n t e g r a t i o n of religious s o c i e t y " a n d f o u n d that P r o t e s t a n t s , w h o lived t h e l e a s t d e m a n d ing religious lives a t t h e t i m e , h a d higher s u i c i d e r a t e s t h a n did C a t h o l i c s ; J e w s , with t h e d e n s e s t n e t w o r k o f social a n d religious o b l i g a t i o n s , h a d t h e lowest. H e e x a m i n e d t h e " d e g r e e o f i n t e g r a t i o n o f d o m e s t i c s o c i e t y " — t h e f a m i l y — a n d f o u n d t h e s a m e thing: P e o p l e living a l o n e w e r e m o s t likely t o kill t h e m s e l v e s ; m a r r i e d p e o p l e , l e s s ; m a r r i e d p e o p l e with c h i l d r e n , still less. D u r k h e i m c o n c l u d e d that p e o p l e n e e d obligations a n d c o n s t r a i n t s t o p r o v i d e s t r u c t u r e a n d m e a n i n g t o their lives: " T h e m o r e w e a k e n e d t h e groups to which [a m a n ] belongs, the less he d e p e n d s on them, the more h e c o n s e q u e n t l y d e p e n d s only o n h i m s e l f a n d r e c o g n i z e s n o o t h e r r u l e s o f c o n d u c t than w h a t a r e f o u n d e d o n his p r i v a t e i n t e r e s t s . " 5 2 A hundred years of further studies have confirmed Durkheim's diagnosis. If y o u w a n t to p r e d i c t h o w h a p p y s o m e o n e is, or h o w l o n g s h e will live (and if you are not allowed to ask about her g e n e s or personality), you s h o u l d find o u t a b o u t h e r social r e l a t i o n s h i p s . H a v i n g s t r o n g s o c i a l relationships strengthens the i m m u n e system, extends life (more t h a n d o e s q u i t t i n g s m o k i n g ) , s p e e d s recovery f r o m surgery, a n d r e d u c e s t h e r i s k s o f d e p r e s s i o n a n d anxiety d i s o r d e r s . 5 3 It's n o t j u s t that extroverts a r e n a t u r a l l y h a p p i e r a n d h e a l t h i e r ; w h e n introverts a r e f o r c e d t o b e m o r e o u t g o i n g , they u s u a l l y e n j o y i t a n d f i n d that i t b o o s t s their m o o d . 5 4 E v e n p e o p l e w h o t h i n k ihey don't w a n t a lot of s o c i a l c o n t a c t still b e n e f i t f r o m it. A n d it's not j u s t I hat " w e all n e e d s o m e b o d y t o l e a n o n " ; r e c e n t w o r k o n giving s u p p o r t s h o w s that caring for others is often m o r e beneficial than is receiving h e l p . 5 5 W e n e e d t o i n t e r a c t a n d i n t e r t w i n e with o t h e r s ; w e n e e d t h e give and t h e t a k e ; w e n e e d t o b e l o n g . 5 6 A n i d e o l o g y o f e x t r e m e p e r s o n a l f r e e d o m can be dangerous b e c a u s e it encourages people to leave h o m e s , jobs, cities, and marriages in search of personal and professional fulfillment, t h e r e b y b r e a k i n g t h e r e l a t i o n s h i p s that w e r e p r o b a b l y their b e s t h o p e for such fulfillment. S e n e c a w a s right: " N o o n e c a n live h a p p i l y w h o h a s r e g a r d t o h i m s e l f a l o n e a n d t r a n s f o r m s e v e r y t h i n g into a q u e s t i o n o f his o w n utility." J o h n

134

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

D o n n e w a s right: N o m a n , w o m a n , o r c h i l d i s a n i s l a n d . A r i s t o p h a n e s w a s right: W e n e e d o t h e r s t o c o m p l e t e u s . W e a r e a n u l t r a s o c i a l s p e c i e s , full o f e m o t i o n s finely t u n e d f o r loving, b e f r i e n d i n g , h e l p i n g , s h a r i n g , a n d otherw i s e i n t e r t w i n i n g o u r lives w i t h o t h e r s . A t t a c h m e n t s a n d r e l a t i o n s h i p s c a n bring us p a i n : As a c h a r a c t e r in J e a n - P a u l Sartre's play No Exit s a i d , " H e l l i s other p e o p l e . " 5 7 B u t s o i s h e a v e n .

The

Uses

of Adversity

When heaven is about to confer a great responsibility on any man, it will exercise his mind with suffering, subject his sinews and bones to hard work, expose his body to hunger, put him to poverty, place obstacles in the paths of his deeds, so as to stimulate his mind, harden his nature, and improve wherever he is incompetent. — M E N G

T Z U ,

1

C H I N A ,

3 R D

C E N T ,

B C E

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. —

N I E T S Z C H E

2

I V 1 ANY T R A D I T I O N S HAVE a notion o f f a t e , p r e d e s t i n a t i o n , or d i v i n e foreknowledge. H i n d u s have a folk belief that on the day of birth, G o d w r i t e s the destiny of e a c h child u p o n his or her f o r e h e a d . S u p p o s e that on t h e d a y y o u r child is born, you are given two gifts: a pair of g l a s s e s that allows y o u to r e a d this forecast, a n d a pencil that allows y o u to edit it. ( S u p p o s e f u r t h e r that t h e gilts c o m e f r o m G o d , with full p e r m i s s i o n t o u s e t h e m a s y o u p l e a s e . ) W h a t would you d o ? You read the list: At a g e nine: b e s t friend d i e s of c a n c e r . At eighteen: g r a d u a t e s high school at top of c l a s s . At twenty: c a r a c c i d e n t w h i l e driving d r u n k l e a d s to a m p u t a t i o n of left leg. At twenty-four: b e c o m e s s i n g l e |uirent. At twenty-nine: marries. At thirty-two: p u b l i s h e s s u c c e s s f u l novel. At

135

136

'i'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

thirty-three: divorces; and so on. H o w painful you'd find it to s e e your child's future suffering written out b e f o r e you! W h a t parent could resist the urge to cross off the t r a u m a s , to correct the self-inflicted w o u n d s ? But be c a r e f u l with that p e n c i l . Your g o o d intentions c o u l d m a k e things worse. If N i e t z s c h e is right that w h a t doesn't kill you m a k e s you stronger, then t h e c o m p l e t e e r a s u r e o f s e r i o u s a d v e r s i t y f r o m y o u r child's f u t u r e would leave him or her w e a k a n d u n d e r d e v e l o p e d . T h i s c h a p t e r is a b o u t what we might call the "adversity h y p o t h e s i s , " which says that p e o p l e n e e d adversity, s e t b a c k s , and p e r h a p s e v e n t r a u m a to reach the highest levels of strength, fulfillment, a n d personal d e v e l o p m e n t . Nietzsche's d i c t u m can't be literally true, at least, not all the time. People who f a c e the real and p r e s e n t threat of their own d e a t h s , or w h o witness the violent d e a t h s of others, s o m e t i m e s d e v e l o p p o s t t r a u m a t i c stress disorder ( P T S D ) , a debilitating condition that leaves its victims a n x i o u s a n d overreactive. People w h o s u f f e r f r o m P T S D are c h a n g e d , s o m e t i m e s p e r m a nently: T h e y p a n i c or c r u m b l e m o r e easily w h e n f a c e d with later adversity. E v e n if we take N i e t z s c h e figuratively ( w h i c h he w o u l d h a v e m u c h preferred anyway), fifty years of r e s e a r c h on stress s h o w s that stressors are generally bad for p e o p l e , 3 c o n t r i b u t i n g to d e p r e s s i o n , anxiety d i s o r d e r s , and heart d i s e a s e . So let's be c a u t i o u s a b o u t a c c e p t i n g the adversity hypothesis. Let's look to scientific research to figure out w h e n adversity is beneficial, and when it is harmful. T h e a n s w e r is not j u s t "adversity within limits." It's a m u c h more interesting story, o n e that reveals h o w h u m a n beings grow a n d thrive, and how you (and your child) c a n best profit from the adversity that surely lies in your future.

P O S T T R A U M A T I C

G R O W T H

Greg's life fell apart on April 8, 1 9 9 9 . On that day, his w i f e and two child r e n , ages f o u r and seven, d i s a p p e a r e d . It took G r e g three days j u s t to find out that they h a d not d i e d in a car c r a s h ; A m y had t a k e n the children a n d run off with a m a n s h e h a d m e t in a s h o p p i n g mall a f e w w e e k s earlier. T h e four of t h e m w e r e now driving a r o u n d t h e country a n d h a d b e e n s p o t t e d in several Western states. T h e private d e t e c t i v e G r e g hired quickly discovered

The Uses of Adversity 1 39 that t h e m a n w h o h a d r u i n e d G r e g ' s life e a r n e d his living a s a c o n artist iind p e t t y c r i m i n a l . H o w c o u l d this h a v e h a p p e n e d ? G r e g f e l t l i k e J o b , s t r i p p e d i n o n e d a y o f all h e loved m o s t . A n d like J o b , h e h a d n o e x p l a n a tion for w h a t h a d b e f a l l e n h i m . G r e g , 4 a n old f r i e n d o f m i n e , c a l l e d m e t o s e e w h e t h e r I , a s a p s y c h o l o gist, c o u l d o f f e r i n s i g h t into h o w his w i f e h a d f a l l e n u n d e r t h e i n f l u e n c e o f s u c h a f r a u d . T h e o n e insight I c o u l d o f f e r w a s that t h e m a n s o u n d e d like a p s y c h o p a t h . M o s t p s y c h o p a t h s a r e not violent ( a l t h o u g h m o s t serial m u r d e r e r s a n d serial r a p i s t s a r e p s y c h o p a t h s ) . T h e y a r e p e o p l e , m o s t l y m e n , w h o h a v e n o moral e m o t i o n s , n o a t t a c h m e n t s y s t e m s , a n d n o c o n c e r n s f o r o t h e r s . 5 B e c a u s e t h e y f e e l n o s h a m e , e m b a r r a s s m e n t , o r guilt, t h e y f i n d i t e a s y t o m a n i p u l a t e p e o p l e into giving t h e m m o n e y , s e x , a n d t r u s t . I told G r e g that i f this m a n w a s i n d e e d a p s y c h o p a t h , h e w a s i n c a p a b l e o f l o v e a n d w o u l d s o o n tire o f A m y a n d t h e k i d s . G r e g w o u l d p r o b a b l y s e e h i s children again soon. T w o m o n t h s later, A m y r e t u r n e d . T h e p o l i c e r e s t o r e d t h e c h i l d r e n t o G r e g ' s c u s t o d y . G r e g ' s p a n i c p h a s e w a s over, but s o w a s his m a r r i a g e , a n d G r e g b e g a n t h e l o n g a n d p a i n f u l p r o c e s s o f r e b u i l d i n g his life. H e w a s n o w a s i n g l e p a r e n t living o n a n a s s i s t a n t p r o f e s s o r ' s salary, a n d h e f a c e d y e a r s o f legal e x p e n s e s f i g h t i n g A m y over t h e c u s t o d y o f their c h i l d r e n . H e h a d little h o p e o f f i n i s h i n g the b o o k his a c a d e m i c c a r e e r d e p e n d e d u p o n , a n d h e worried a b o u t his c h i l d r e n ' s m e n t a l h e a l t h , a n d his o w n . W h a t w a s h e going to do? I visited G r e g a f e w m o n t h s later. It w a s a b e a u t i f u l A u g u s t e v e n i n g , a n d a s w e s a t o n his p o r c h , G r e g told m e a b o u t h o w t h e c r i s i s h a d a f f e c t e d him. H e w a s still i n p a i n , but h e h a d l e a r n e d that m a n y p e o p l e c a r e d a b o u t him a n d w e r e t h e r e t o h e l p h i m . F a m i l i e s f r o m his c h u r c h w e r e b r i n g i n g him m e a l s a n d h e l p i n g o u t with c h i l d c a r e . H i s p a r e n t s w e r e s e l l i n g their house in Utah and moving to Charlottesville to help him raise the children. Also, G r e g s a i d that t h e e x p e r i e n c e h a d r a d i c a l l y c h a n g e d h i s p e r s p e c t i v e a b o u t what m a t t e r e d i n life. A s l o n g a s h e h a d his c h i l d r e n b a c k , c a r e e r success was no longer so important to him. G r e g said he now treated p e o p l e differently, a c h a n g e r e l a t e d t o his c h a n g e i n v a l u e s : H e f o u n d h i m self r e a c t i n g t o o t h e r s with m u c h g r e a t e r sympathy, love, a n d f o r g i v e n e s s . I l e j u s t c o u l d n ' t get m a d a t p e o p l e for little t h i n g s a n y m o r e . A n d t h e n G r e g

138

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

s a i d s o m e t h i n g so p o w e r f u l that I c h o k e d u p . R e f e r r i n g to t h e o f t e n sad and moving solo that is at the heart of m a n y o p e r a s , he said: " T h i s is my mohnent to sing the aria. I don't w a n t to, I don't want to h a v e this c h a n c e , hut it's h e r e now, and what am I g o i n g to do a b o u t it? Am I g o i n g to rise to the o c c a s i o n ? " To have f r a m e d things in s u c h a w a y s h o w e d that he w a s already rising. With the help of family, friends, a n d d e e p religious faith, G r e g rebuilt his life, f i n i s h e d his book, a n d two years later f o u n d a better j o b . W h e n 1 s p o k e to him recently, he told me he still f e e l s w o u n d e d by what h a p p e n e d . But h e also s a i d that m a n y o f the positive c h a n g e s h a d e n d u r e d , a n d that h e now e x p e r i e n c e s m o r e joy f r o m e a c h day with his children t h a n he did before the crisis. For d e c a d e s , r e s e a r c h i n h e a l t h p s y c h o l o g y f o c u s e d o n s t r e s s a n d its d a m a g i n g e f f e c t s . A m a j o r c o n c e r n in this r e s e a r c h literature h a s always heen r e s i l i e n c e — t h e ways p e o p l e c o p e with adversity, f e n d o f f d a m a g e , a n d " b o u n c e b a c k " to normal f u n c t i o n i n g . B u t it's only in the last fifteen years that researchers h a v e g o n e b e y o n d r e s i l i e n c e a n d b e g u n to f o c u s on the benefits of severe stress. T h e s e b e n e f i t s a r e s o m e t i m e s referred to collectively as " p o s t t r a u m a t i c g r o w t h , " 6 in d i r e c t c o n t r a s t to p o s t t r a u m a t i c stress disorder. R e s e a r c h e r s h a v e n o w s t u d i e d p e o p l e f a c i n g m a n y kinds o f adversity, including cancer, heart d i s e a s e , HIV, r a p e , a s s a u l t , paralysis, infertility, h o u s e f i r e s , p l a n e c r a s h e s , a n d e a r t h q u a k e s . R e s e a r c h e r s h a v e s t u d i e d h o w p e o p l e c o p e with the l o s s of their strongest a t t a c h m e n t s : c h i b dren, s p o u s e s or partners, a n d p a r e n t s . T h i s large body of r e s e a r c h s h o w s that a l t h o u g h t r a u m a s , c r i s e s , a n d t r a g e d i e s c o m e in a t h o u s a n d f o r m s , p e o p l e benefit f r o m them i n three p r i m a r y w a y s — t h e s a m e o n e s that G r e g talked a b o u t . T h e first b e n e f i t is that rising to a c h a l l e n g e reveals your h i d d e n abilities, a n d s e e i n g t h e s e a b i l i t i e s c h a n g e s y o u r s e l f - c o n c e p t . N o n e o f u s knows what we a r e really c a p a b l e of e n d u r i n g . You might say to yourself, "I would die if I lost X," or "I c o u l d never survive w h a t Y is g o i n g through," yet t h e s e a r e s t a t e m e n t s s p u n out of thin air by the rider. If you did lose X, or find yourself in the s a m e position as Y, your heart would not stop beating. You w o u l d r e s p o n d to the world as y o u f o u n d it, a n d m o s t of t h o s e res p o n s e s would b e a u t o m a t i c . P e o p l e s o m e t i m e s say they a r e n u m b o r o n

The Uses of Adversity

1 39

a u t o p i l o t a f t e r a terrible loss or t r a u m a . C o n s c i o u s n e s s is s e v e r e l y a l t e r e d , yet s o m e h o w t h e b o d y k e e p s m o v i n g . O v e r t h e next f e w w e e k s s o m e d e gree of normalcy returns as o n e struggles to m a k e s e n s e of the loss a n d of one's a l t e r e d c i r c u m s t a n c e s . W h a t d o e s n ' t kill y o u m a k e s y o u , b y d e f i n i tion, a survivor, a b o u t w h o m p e o p l e t h e n say, "I c o u l d n e v e r s u r v i v e w h a t Y is going through." O n e of the m o s t c o m m o n lessons p e o p l e draw f r o m ber e a v e m e n t o r t r a u m a i s that they a r e m u c h s t r o n g e r t h a n t h e y r e a l i z e d , a n d t his n e w a p p r e c i a t i o n o f their s t r e n g t h t h e n g i v e s t h e m c o n f i d e n c e t o f a c e f u t u r e c h a l l e n g e s . A n d t h e y a r e n o t j u s t c o n f a b u l a t i n g a silver l i n i n g t o wrap around a dark cloud; people who have suffered through battle, rape, concentration c a m p s , or traumatic personal losses often s e e m to be inocul a t e d 7 a g a i n s t f u t u r e s t r e s s : T h e y r e c o v e r m o r e quickly, i n p a r t b e c a u s e I hey k n o w t h e y c a n c o p e . R e l i g i o u s l e a d e r s h a v e o f t e n p o i n t e d t o e x a c t l y I his b e n e f i t of s u f f e r i n g . As Paul said in his L e t t e r to t h e R o m a n s (5:3—4): "Suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and c h a r a c t e r p r o d u c e s h o p e . " M o r e recently, t h e D a l a i L a m a s a i d : " T h e p e r son who has had m o r e experience of hardships c a n stand m o r e firmly in the f a c e of p r o b l e m s than the person who has never experienced suffering. I rom this a n g l e , t h e n , s o m e s u f f e r i n g c a n be a g o o d l e s s o n for l i f e . " 8 T h e s e c o n d c l a s s of b e n e f i t c o n c e r n s r e l a t i o n s h i p s . A d v e r s i t y is a filter. W h e n a p e r s o n is d i a g n o s e d with c a n c e r , or a c o u p l e l o s e s a c h i l d , s o m e l riends a n d f a m i l y m e m b e r s rise to t h e o c c a s i o n a n d look for a n y w a y t h e y c a n t o e x p r e s s s u p p o r t o r t o b e h e l p f u l . O t h e r s turn away, p e r h a p s u n s u r e o f what t o say o r u n a b l e t o o v e r c o m e their o w n d i s c o m f o r t with t h e s i t u a t i o n . Rut adversity doesn't j u s t s e p a r a t e t h e f a i r - w e a t h e r f r i e n d s f r o m t h e t r u e ; i t s t r e n g t h e n s r e l a t i o n s h i p s a n d i t o p e n s p e o p l e ' s h e a r t s t o o n e a n o t h e r . W e often d e v e l o p love for t h o s e w e c a r e for, a n d w e u s u a l l y feel love a n d g r a t i t u d e toward t h o s e w h o c a r e d for us in a t i m e of n e e d . In a large s t u d y of b e r e a v e ment, S u s a n N o l e n - H o e k s e m a and her colleagues at Stanford University f o u n d that o n e o f t h e m o s t c o m m o n e f f e c t s o f l o s i n g a loved o n e w a s t h a t the b e r e a v e d h a d a greater a p p r e c i a t i o n of a n d t o l e r a n c e for t h e o t h e r p e o p l e in his or her life. A w o m a n in t h e study, w h o s e p a r t n e r h a d d i e d of cancer, e x p l a i n e d : " [ T h e l o s s ] e n h a n c e d m y r e l a t i o n s h i p with o t h e r p e o p l e b e c a u s e I realize that time is so important, a n d you c a n w a s t e so m u c h effort o n s m a l l , i n s i g n i f i c a n t e v e n t s o r f e e l i n g s . " 9 L i k e G r e g , this b e r e a v e d

140

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

w o m a n f o u n d herself relating to others in a m o r e loving a n d less petty way. T r a u m a s e e m s to s h u t off the motivation to play M a c h i a v e l l i a n tit for tat with its e m p h a s i s on self-promotion a n d c o m p e t i t i o n . T h i s c h a n g e i n w a y s o f r e l a t i n g p o i n t s t o the third c o m m o n b e n e f i t : T r a u m a c h a n g e s priorities and p h i l o s o p h i e s toward the p r e s e n t ("Live e a c h day to the fullest") a n d toward other p e o p l e . We have all heard stories about rich a n d p o w e r f u l p e o p l e w h o h a d a m o r a l c o n v e r s i o n w h e n f a c e d with death. In 1 9 9 3 , I saw one of the g r a n d e s t s u c h stories written in the rocks o u t s i d e the Indian city of B h u b a n e s w a r , w h e r e I s p e n t three m o n t h s studying culture a n d morality. K i n g A s h o k a , a f t e r a s s u m i n g control of the Maurya e m p i r e (in central India) around 272 BCE, set out to e x p a n d his territory by c o n q u e s t . H e w a s s u c c e s s f u l , s u b d u i n g b y slaughter m a n y o f the p e o p l e s a n d kingdoms around him. B u t after a particularly bloody victory over the Kalinga people, near what is now B h u b a n e s w a r , he was seized with horror and remorse. He converted to B u d d h i s m , r e n o u n c e d all further c o n q u e s t by violence, and d e v o t e d his life to c r e a t i n g a kingdom b a s e d on j u s t i c e and r e s p e c t for dharma (the c o s m i c law o f H i n d u i s m a n d B u d d h i s m ) . H e wrote out his vision of a j u s t society a n d his rules for virtuous behavior, and had these edicts carved into rock walls t h r o u g h o u t his kingdom. He sent emissaries as far away as G r e e c e to s p r e a d h i s vision of p e a c e , virtue, and religious tolerance. Ashoka's conversion w a s c a u s e d by victory, not adversity, yet p e o p l e are often t r a u m a t i z e d — a s m o d e r n research o n s o l d i e r s 1 0 i n d i c a t e s — by killing as well as by f a c i n g the threat of death. Like so m a n y who experience p o s t t r a u m a t i c growth, A s h o k a u n d e r w e n t a p r o f o u n d transformation. In his edicts, he d e s c r i b e d h i m s e l f as having b e c o m e m o r e forgiving, c o m passionate, a n d tolerant of t h o s e w h o d i f f e r e d with h i m . Few p e o p l e have the c h a n c e to go f r o m m a s s m u r d e r e r to patron of humanity, but a great many p e o p l e f a c i n g death report c h a n g e s in values and perspectives. A d i a g n o s i s of c a n c e r is o f t e n d e s c r i b e d , in retrospect, as a w a k e - u p call, a reality c h e c k , or a t u r n i n g p o i n t . M a n y p e o p l e c o n s i d e r c h a n g i n g careers or reducing the t i m e they s p e n d at work. T h e reality that p e o p l e o f t e n w a k e up to is that life is a gift they h a v e b e e n taking for granted, a n d that p e o p l e m a t t e r m o r e t h a n money. C h a r l e s D i c k e n s ' s A Christmas Carol c a p t u r e s a d e e p truth a b o u t the e f f e c t s of f a c i n g mortality: A few m i n u t e s with the ghost of " C h r i s t m a s Yet to C o m e " converts Scrooge,

The Uses of Adversity 1 39 the u l t i m a t e miser, into a g e n e r o u s m a n w h o t a k e s delight in his family, h i s employees, a n d the strangers he p a s s e s on the street. I don't w a n t to c e l e b r a t e s u f f e r i n g , p r e s c r i b e it for e v e r y o n e , or m i n i m i z e the moral i m p e r a t i v e to r e d u c e it w h e r e we c a n . I don't w a n t to i g n o r e t h e pain that r i p p l e s o u t f r o m e a c h d i a g n o s i s o f c a n c e r , s p r e a d i n g f e a r a l o n g lines o f k i n s h i p a n d f r i e n d s h i p . I w a n t only t o m a k e t h e p o i n t that s u f f e r i n g is not a l w a y s all b a d for all p e o p l e . T h e r e is u s u a l l y s o m e g o o d m i x e d in with the b a d , a n d t h o s e w h o f i n d i t h a v e f o u n d s o m e t h i n g p r e c i o u s : a k e y t o moral a n d spiritual d e v e l o p m e n t . A s S h a k e s p e a r e w r o t e : Sweet are the uses of adversity, Which like the toad,

ugly and venomous,

Wears yet a precious jewel in his head.11

M U S T

W E

S U F F E R ?

I he adversity h y p o t h e s i s h a s a w e a k a n d a s t r o n g v e r s i o n . In t h e w e a k v e r sion, adversity can l e a d to growth, s t r e n g t h , joy, a n d s e l f - i n i p r o v e m e n t , by the t h r e e m e c h a n i s m s o f p o s t t r a u m a t i c growth d e s c r i b e d a b o v e . T h e w e a k version is w e l l - s u p p o r t e d by r e s e a r c h , but it h a s f e w c l e a r i m p l i c a t i o n s for how w e s h o u l d live our lives. T h e s t r o n g v e r s i o n o f t h e h y p o t h e s i s i s m o r e unsettling: It s t a t e s that p e o p l e must e n d u r e a d v e r s i t y to grow, a n d t h a t t h e highest levels o f growth a n d d e v e l o p m e n t a r e only o p e n t o t h o s e w h o h a v e l a c e d a n d o v e r c o m e great adversity. I f t h e strong v e r s i o n o f t h e h y p o t h e s i s i s valid, i t h a s p r o f o u n d i m p l i c a t i o n s for h o w w e s h o u l d live o u r lives a n d s t r u c t u r e our s o c i e t i e s . I t m e a n s that w e s h o u l d t a k e m o r e c h a n c e s a n d s u f fer m o r e d e f e a t s . I t m e a n s that w e m i g h t b e d a n g e r o u s l y o v e r p r o t e c t i n g o u r children, o f f e r i n g t h e m lives o f b l a n d s a f e t y a n d too m u c h c o u n s e l i n g w h i l e depriving t h e m o f t h e "critical i n c i d e n t s " ' 2 that w o u l d h e l p t h e m t o g r o w s t r o n g a n d t o d e v e l o p t h e m o s t i n t e n s e f r i e n d s h i p s . I t m e a n s that h e r o i c s o c i e t i e s , w h i c h f e a r d i s h o n o r m o r e t h a n d e a t h , o r s o c i e t i e s that s t r u g g l e together through war, might p r o d u c e b e t t e r h u m a n b e i n g s t h a n c a n a w o r l d o f p e a c e a n d prosperity i n w h i c h p e o p l e ' s e x p e c t a t i o n s r i s e s o h i g h that t h e y s u e e a c h other for " e m o t i o n a l d a m a g e s . "

142

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

B u t is the strong version valid? People o f t e n say that they h a v e h e e n profoundly c h a n g e d by adversity, yet r e s e a r c h e r s have so far c o l l e c t e d little evidence of adversity-induced personality c h a n g e beyond such reports. People's s c o r e s on personality tests a r e fairly s t a b l e over the c o u r s e of a few years, even for p e o p l e w h o report that they h a v e c h a n g e d a great deal in the interim. 1 3 In o n e of the f e w s t u d i e s that tried to verify reports of growth by asking the s u b j e c t s ' friends a b o u t t h e m , the f r i e n d s n o t i c e d m u c h less c h a n g e than the s u b j e c t s h a d r e p o r t e d . 1 4 T h e s e studies might, however, have b e e n looking for c h a n g e in the wrong p l a c e . Psychologists o f t e n a p p r o a c h personality by m e a s u r i n g b a s i c traits s u c h as the "big five": n e u r o t i c i s m , extroversion, o p e n n e s s to new experiences, agreeableness (warmth/niceness), and conscientiousness.15 T h e s e traits are facts about the elephant, a b o u t a person's a u t o m a t i c reactions to various s i t u a t i o n s . T h e y are fairly similar b e t w e e n i d e n t i c a l twins reared apart, indicating that they are influenced in part by g e n e s , although they are also influenced by c h a n g e s in the c o n d i t i o n s of one's life or the roles o n e plays, s u c h a s b e c o m i n g a p a r e n t . 1 6 B u t p s y c h o l o g i s t D a n M c A d a m s h a s suggested that personality really has three levels, 1 7 a n d too m u c h attention has been paid to the lowest level, the b a s i c traits. A s e c o n d level of personality, "characteristic adaptations," includes personal goals, d e f e n s e and c o p i n g m e c h a n i s m s , values, beliefs, and life-stage c o n c e r n s ( s u c h as t h o s e of parenthood or retirement) that people develop to s u c c e e d in their particular roles and niches. T h e s e adaptations are i n f l u e n c e d by b a s i c traits: A person high on neuroticism will have many m o r e d e f e n s e m e c h a n i s m s ; an extrovert will rely more heavily on social relationships. B u t in this middle level, the person's basic traits are m a d e to m e s h with f a c t s about the person's environment and stage of life. W h e n those facts c h a n g e — a s after losing a s p o u s e — t h e person's c h a r a c t e r i s t i c a d a p t a t i o n s c h a n g e . T h e e l e p h a n t m i g h t b e slow t o change, but the elephant and rider, working together, find n e w ways of getting through the day. T h e third level of personality is that of the "life story." H u m a n beings in every c u l t u r e are f a s c i n a t e d by stories; we c r e a t e t h e m w h e r e v e r we c a n . ( S e e t h o s e seven stars up there? T h e y a r e s e v e n sisters w h o o n c e . . . ) It's no different with our own lives. We can't s t o p o u r s e l v e s f r o m c r e a t i n g w h a t

The Uses of Adversity 1 39 M c A d a m s d e s c r i b e s as an "evolving story that integrates a r e c o n s t r u c t e d past, perceived present, a n d anticipated f u t u r e into a c o h e r e n t a n d vitalizing life myth." 1 8 A l t h o u g h the lowest level of personality is mostly a b o u t the elephant, the life story is written primarily by the rider. \ o u c r e a t e your story in c o n s c i o u s n e s s as y o u interpret your own behavior, a n d as you listen to o t h e r people's thoughts a b o u t you. T h e life story is not the work of a h i s t o r i a n — r e m e m b e r that the rider has no a c c e s s to the real c a u s e s of your behavior; it is more like a work of historical fiction that m a k e s plenty of r e f e r e n c e s to real events a n d c o n n e c t s t h e m by dramatizations and interpretations that might or might not be true to the spirit of what h a p p e n e d . F r o m this three-level p e r s p e c t i v e , it b e c o m e s clear why adversity m i g h t b e n e c e s s a r y for o p t i m a l h u m a n d e v e l o p m e n t . M o s t o f t h e life g o a l s that people p u r s u e a t the level o f "characteristic a d a p t a t i o n s " c a n b e s o r t e d — a s the psychologist R o b e r t E m m o n s 1 9 h a s f o u n d — i n t o four c a t e g o r i e s : w o r k and a c h i e v e m e n t , relationships and intimacy, religion a n d spirituality, a n d generativity (leaving a legacy a n d c o n t r i b u t i n g s o m e t h i n g to s o c i e t y ) . Although it is generally good for you to p u r s u e g o a l s , not all goals are e q u a l . P e o p l e w h o strive p r i m a r i l y f o r a c h i e v e m e n t a n d w e a l t h a r e , E m m o n s finds, less happy, on average, than t h o s e w h o s e strivings f o c u s on t h e o t h e r three c a t e g o r i e s . 2 0 T h e r e a s o n takes u s b a c k t o h a p p i n e s s traps a n d c o n s p i c u o u s c o n s u m p t i o n ( s e e c h a p t e r 5): B e c a u s e h u m a n b e i n g s w e r e s h a p e d b y evolutionary p r o c e s s e s t o p u r s u e s u c c e s s , not h a p p i n e s s , p e o p l e e n t h u siastically p u r s u e g o a l s that will help t h e m win p r e s t i g e in z e r o - s u m c o m petitions. S u c c e s s i n t h e s e c o m p e t i t i o n s f e e l s g o o d but gives n o l a s t i n g pleasure, a n d it raises the bar for f u t u r e s u c c e s s . W h e n tragedy strikes, however, it knocks you off the treadmill a n d f o r c e s a decision: H o p b a c k on a n d return to b u s i n e s s as usual, or try s o m e t h i n g e l s e ? I here is a window of t i m e — j u s t a few w e e k s or m o n t h s after the t r a g e d y — during which you are more open to something else. During this time, achievement goals often lose their allure, s o m e t i m e s c o m i n g to s e e m p o i n d e s s . If you shift toward other goals—family, religion, or helping o t h e r s — y o u shift to inc o n s p i c u o u s c o n s u m p t i o n , a n d the pleasures derived along the way are not fully s u b j e c t t o a d a p t a t i o n (treadmill) e f f e c t s . T h e p u r s u i t o f t h e s e g o a l s therefore leads to m o r e h a p p i n e s s but less Wealth (on average). M a n y p e o p l e

144

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

change their goals in the wake of adversity; they resolve to work less, to love and play more. If in those first f e w m o n t h s you take a c t i o n — y o u do something that c h a n g e s your daily l i f e — t h e n the c h a n g e s might stick. But if you do nothing m o r e than m a k e a resolution ("I m u s t never forget my new outlook on life"), then you will soon slip hack into old hahits and p u r s u e old goals. T h e rider can exert s o m e influence at forks in the road; but the elephant handles daily life, responding automatically to the environment. Adversity may be necessary for growth b e c a u s e it forces you to stop s p e e d i n g along the road of life, allowing you to notice the paths that were b r a n c h i n g off all along, and to think about where you really want to e n d up. At the third level of personality, the n e e d for adversity is e v e n m o r e obvious: You n e e d interesting material to write a good story. M c A d a m s says that stories are" " f u n d a m e n t a l l y a b o u t the v i c i s s i t u d e s of h u m a n intention organized in t i m e . " 2 1 You can't have a g o o d life story without v i c i s s i t u d e s , a n d if the best you c a n c o m e up with is that y o u r p a r e n t s r e f u s e d to buy you a sports car for your sixteenth birthday, n o b o d y will w a n t to r e a d your m e m oirs. In the t h o u s a n d s of life stories M c A d a m s h a s g a t h e r e d , several genres are a s s o c i a t e d with well-being. For e x a m p l e , in the " c o m m i t m e n t story," the protagonist has a supportive f a m i l y b a c k g r o u n d , is s e n s i t i z e d early in life to the s u f f e r i n g s of others, is g u i d e d by a clear and c o m p e l l i n g personal ideology, a n d , at s o m e point, t r a n s f o r m s or r e d e e m s failures, m i s t a k e s , or c r i s e s into a positive o u t c o m e , a p r o c e s s that o f t e n involves setting new goals that c o m m i t the self to h e l p i n g o t h e r s . T h e life of the B u d d h a is a classic e x a m p l e . In contrast, s o m e people's life stories s h o w a " c o n t a m i n a t i o n " s e q u e n c e in which emotionally positive events go bad and everything is spoiled. P e o p l e w h o tell s u c h stories a r e , not surprisingly, m o r e likely to be dep r e s s e d . 2 2 I n d e e d , part of the p a t h o l o g y of d e p r e s s i o n is that, while ruminating, the d e p r e s s e d p e r s o n reworks her life narrative by u s i n g the tools of Beck's negative triad: I'm bad, the world is b a d , and my f u t u r e is dark. Alt h o u g h adversity that is not o v e r c o m e c a n c r e a t e a story of d e p r e s s i n g b l e a k n e s s , s u b s t a n t i a l adversity m i g h t be n e c e s s a r y for a m e a n i n g f u l story. M c A d a m s ' s ideas are p r o f o u n d l y i m p o r t a n t for u n d e r s t a n d i n g posttraum a t i c growth. H i s three levels of p e r s o n a l i t y allow us to think a b o u t coher-

The

Uses of Adversity

1

39

ence a m o n g t h e levels. W h a t h a p p e n s w h e n t h e t h r e e l e v e l s o f p e r s o n a l i t y don't m a t c h u p ? I m a g i n e a w o m a n w h o s e b a s i c traits a r e w a r m a n d g r e g a r i o u s b u t w h o s t r i v e s for s u c c e s s i n a c a r e e r t h a t o f f e r s f e w c h a n c e s f o r c l o s e c o n t a c t s with p e o p l e , a n d w h o s e life story i s a b o u t a n a r t i s t f o r c e d b y her p a r e n t s t o p u r s u e a p r a c t i c a l career. S h e i s a m e s s o f m i s m a t c h e d m o tives a n d s t o r i e s , a n d i t m a y b e that only t h r o u g h a d v e r s i t y will s h e b e a b l e to m a k e the radical c h a n g e s s h e would n e e d to a c h i e v e c o h e r e n c e a m o n g levels. T h e p s y c h o l o g i s t s K e n S h e l d o n a n d T i m K a s s e r h a v e f o u n d t h a t people w h o are mentally healthy and happy have a higher d e g r e e of "vertical c o h e r e n c e " a m o n g their g o a l s — t h a t is, higher-level ( l o n g t e r m ) g o a l s a n d lower-level ( i m m e d i a t e ) g o a l s all fit t o g e t h e r well s o that p u r s u i n g o n e ' s short-term goals advances the pursuit of long-term goals.23 T r a u m a o f t e n s h a t t e r s b e l i e f s y s t e m s a n d robs p e o p l e o f their s e n s e o f m e a n i n g . I n s o doing, i t f o r c e s p e o p l e t o p u t the p i e c e s b a c k together, a n d o f t e n they d o s o b y u s i n g G o d o r s o m e other higher p u r p o s e a s a u n i f y i n g p r i n c i p l e . 2 4 L o n d o n a n d C h i c a g o seized the o p p o r t u n i t i e s p r o v i d e d b y t h e i r g r e a t f i r e s t o r e m a k e t h e m s e l v e s into g r a n d e r a n d m o r e c o h e r e n t c i t i e s . People s o m e t i m e s seize s u c h o p p o r t u n i t i e s , too, r e b u i l d i n g b e a u t i f u l l y t h o s e parts of their lives a n d life stories that t h e y c o u l d n e v e r h a v e torn d o w n voluntarily. W h e n p e o p l e report having grown a f t e r c o p i n g with adversity, t h e y c o u l d b e trying t o d e s c r i b e a n e w s e n s e o f inner c o h e r e n c e . T h i s c o h e r e n c e might not be visible to one's f r i e n d s , but it f e e l s like growth, s t r e n g t h , m a t u rity, a n d w i s d o m f r o m t h e i n s i d e . 2 5

B L E S S E D

A R E

THE

S E N S E

M A K E R S

W h e n b a d things h a p p e n t o g o o d p e o p l e , w e h a v e a p r o b l e m . W e k n o w c o n s c i o u s l y that life i s unfair, but u n c o n s c i o u s l y w e s e e the w o r l d t h r o u g h t h e lens o f reciprocity. T h e downfall o f a n evil m a n (in o u r b i a s e d a n d m o r a l i s t i c a s s e s s m e n t ) i s n o puzzle: H e h a d i t c o m i n g t o h i m . B u t w h e n t h e v i c t i m w a s virtuous, w e s t r u g g l e t o m a k e s e n s e o f his tragedy. A t a n intuitive l e v e l , w e all believe i n k a r m a , t h e H i n d u notion that p e o p l e r e a p w h a t they s o w . T h e psychologist M e l Lerner has demonstrated that we are so motivated to

146

'i'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

believe that people get what they deserve a n d deserve what they get that we often blame the victim of a tragedy, particularly when we can't achieve justice by punishing a perpetrator or c o m p e n s a t i n g the victim. 2 6 In Lerner's experiments, the d e s p e r a t e n e e d to m a k e s e n s e of events can lead people to inaccurate c o n c l u s i o n s (for example, a w o m a n "led on" a rapist); but, in general, the ability to m a k e s e n s e of tragedy a n d then find benefit in it is the key that unlocks p o s t t r a u m a t i c growth. 2 7 W h e n trauma strikes, s o m e people find the key dangling around their n e c k s with instructions printed on it. Others are left to f e n d for themselves, and they do not fend as well. Psychologists have d e v o t e d a great deal of effort to figuring out who benefits from trauma and w h o is c r u s h e d . T h e a n s w e r c o m p o u n d s the already great unfairness of life: O p t i m i s t s are m o r e likely to benefit than p e s s i m i s t s . 2 8 Optimists are, for the m o s t part, p e o p l e who won the cortical lottery: They have a high h a p p i n e s s setpoint, they habitually look on the bright side, and they easily find silver linings. Life h a s a way of making the rich get richer and the happy get happier. W h e n a crisis strikes, p e o p l e c o p e in three primary ways: 2 9 active coping (taking direct a c t i o n to fix the p r o b l e m ) , r e a p p r a i s a l ( d o i n g the work within—getting one's own t h o u g h t s right a n d looking for silver linings), and avoidance coping (working to blunt one's emotional reactions by denying or avoiding the events, or by drinking, drugs, and other distractions). People who have a basic-level trait of o p t i m i s m ( M c A d a m s ' s level 1) tend to develop a coping style ( M c A d a m s ' s level 2) that alternates between active coping and reappraisal. B e c a u s e optimists expect their efforts to pay off, they go right to work fixing the p r o b l e m . But if they fail, they expect that things usually work out for the best, and so they can't h e l p but look for possible benefits. W h e n they find t h e m , they write a new chapter in their life story ( M c A d a m s ' s level 3), a story of continual overcoming and growth. In contrast, people who have a relatively negative affective style (complete with m o r e activity in the front right cortex than the front left) live in a world filled with many more threats a n d have less c o n f i d e n c e that they c a n deal with them. They develop a c o p i n g style that relies m o r e heavily on avoidance and other d e f e n s e m e c h a n i s m s . T h e y work harder to m a n a g e their pain than to fix their p r o b l e m s , so their p r o b l e m s o f t e n get worse. Drawing the lesson that the world is unjust and uncontrollable, and that

The Uses of Adversity 1 39 t h i n g s o f t e n w o r k o u t for t h e w o r s t , they w e a v e this l e s s o n into t h e i r life story w h e r e it c o n t a m i n a t e s t h e narrative. If you a r e a p e s s i m i s t , y o u a r e p r o b a b l y f e e l i n g g l o o m y right n o w . B u t d e s p a i r not! T h e key t o growth i s not o p t i m i s m p e r s e ; i t i s t h e s e n s e m a k ing that o p t i m i s t s f i n d easy. If y o u c a n f i n d a way to m a k e s e n s e of a d v e r sity a n d d r a w c o n s t r u c t i v e l e s s o n s f r o m it, y o u c a n b e n e f i t , too. A n d y o u c a n learn to b e c o m e a s e n s e m a k e r by r e a d i n g J a m i e P e n n e b a k e r ' s Opening Up.30 P e n n e b a k e r b e g a n h i s r e s e a r c h b y s t u d y i n g t h e r e l a t i o n s h i p b e t w e e n t r a u m a , s u c h a s childhood sexual a b u s e , a n d later health p r o b l e m s . T r a u m a a n d s t r e s s a r e u s u a l l y b a d for p e o p l e , a n d P e n n e b a k e r t h o u g h t t h a t s e l f - d i s c l o s u r e — t a l k i n g with f r i e n d s o r t h e r a p i s t s — m i g h t h e l p t h e b o d y a t t h e s a m e t i m e that i t h e l p s t h e m i n d . O n e o f his early h y p o t h e s e s w a s t h a t t r a u m a s that carry m o r e s h a m e , s u c h a s b e i n g r a p e d (as o p p o s e d t o a n o n s e x u a l a s s a u l t ) or l o s i n g a s p o u s e to s u i c i d e ( r a t h e r t h a n to a c a r a c c i d e n t ) , w o u l d p r o d u c e m o r e i l l n e s s b e c a u s e p e o p l e a r e l e s s likely t o t a l k a b o u t s u c h e v e n t s with o t h e r s . B u t t h e n a t u r e o f t h e t r a u m a t u r n e d o u t t o b e alm o s t irrelevant. W h a t m a t t e r e d w a s w h a t p e o p l e d i d a f t e r w a r d : T h o s e w h o talked with their f r i e n d s or with a s u p p o r t g r o u p w e r e largely s p a r e d t h e health-damaging effects of trauma. O n c e P e n n e b a k e r h a d f o u n d a correlation b e t w e e n d i s c l o s u r e a n d h e a l t h , he took t h e next s t e p in the scientific p r o c e s s a n d tried to create h e a l t h b e n efits by getting p e o p l e to d i s c l o s e their s e c r e t s . P e n n e b a k e r a s k e d p e o p l e to write a b o u t " t h e m o s t u p s e t t i n g o r t r a u m a t i c e x p e r i e n c e o f your e n t i r e l i f e , " preferably o n e they h a d not talked a b o u t with o t h e r s i n great detail. H e g a v e t h e m plenty of b l a n k p a p e r a n d a s k e d t h e m to k e e p writing for f i f t e e n m i n utes, on f o u r c o n s e c u t i v e d a y s . S u b j e c t s in a control g r o u p w e r e a s k e d to write a b o u t s o m e other topic (for e x a m p l e , their h o u s e s , a typical w o r k d a y ) lor the s a m e a m o u n t o f time. I n e a c h o f his s t u d i e s , P e n n e b a k e r got his s u b j e c t s ' p e r m i s s i o n to obtain their m e d i c a l r e c o r d s at s o m e p o i n t in t h e f u t u r e . Then he w a i t e d a year a n d o b s e r v e d h o w o f t e n p e o p l e in t h e two g r o u p s got sick. T h e p e o p l e w h o wrote a b o u t t r a u m a s w e n t t o t h e d o c t o r o r the h o s p i t a l I ewer t i m e s in t h e following year. I d i d not believe this result w h e n I first heard it. H o w on earth c o u l d o n e hour of writing stave o f f t h e flu six m o n t h s Liter? P e n n e b a k e r ' s r e s u l t s s e e m e d t o s u p p o r t a n o l d - f a s h i o n e d F r e u d i a n nolion of c a t h a r s i s : People w h o e x p r e s s their e m o t i o n s , "get it o f f their c h e s t s "

148

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

or "let off s t e a m , " are healthier. H a v i n g o n c e reviewed the literature on the catharsis hypothesis, I knew that there w a s no e v i d e n c e for it. 3 1 Letting off s t e a m m a k e s p e o p l e angrier, not calmer. Pennehaker discovered that it's not a b o u t s t e a m ; it's a b o u t s e n s e making. T h e p e o p l e in his s t u d i e s w h o u s e d their writing t i m e to vent got no benefit. T h e p e o p l e w h o s h o w e d d e e p insight into the c a u s e s a n d c o n s e q u e n c e s o f the event on their first day of writing gbt no b e n e f i t , either: T h e y had already m a d e s e n s e of things. It w a s the p e o p l e w h o m a d e progress a c r o s s the four days, who s h o w e d increasing insight; they were the o n e s w h o s e health improved over the next year. In later s t u d i e s , P e n n e b a k e r a s k e d p e o p l e to d a n c e or sing to express their e m o t i o n s , but t h e s e emotionally expressive activities gave no health b e n e f i t . 3 2 You h a v e to u s e words, a n d the words have to help you create a m e a n i n g f u l story. If you c a n write s u c h a story you c a n reap the benefits of reappraisal ( o n e of the t w o healthy c o p i n g styles) even years after an event. You c a n c l o s e a c h a p t e r of your life that was still open, still a f f e c t i n g your thoughts a n d preventing you from m o v i n g on with the larger narrative. Anyone, therefore, c a n b e n e f i t f r o m adversity, a l t h o u g h a p e s s i m i s t will have t o t a k e s o m e extra s t e p s , s o m e c o n s c i o u s , rider-initiated s t e p s , t o g u i d e the e l e p h a n t gently in the right direction. T h e first s t e p is to do what you c a n , before adversity strikes, to c h a n g e your cognitive style. If you are a p e s s i m i s t , c o n s i d e r meditation, cognitive therapy, or even Prozac. All three will m a k e you less s u b j e c t to negative r u m i n a t i o n , m o r e a b l e to g u i d e your thoughts in a positive direction, and t h e r e f o r e m o r e a b l e to withstand f u ture adversity, find m e a n i n g in it, a n d grow f r o m it. T h e s e c o n d s t e p is to cherish and build your social s u p p o r t network. H a v i n g o n e or two good att a c h m e n t relationships helps a d u l t s as well as children ( a n d r h e s u s monkeys) to f a c e threats. T r u s t e d f r i e n d s w h o are good listeners c a n be a great aid to m a k i n g s e n s e a n d f i n d i n g m e a n i n g . T h i r d , religious faith a n d pract i c e c a n aid g r o w t h , b o t h b y d i r e c t l y f o s t e r i n g s e n s e m a k i n g (religions provide stories and interpretive s c h e m e s for l o s s e s a n d c r i s e s ) a n d by inc r e a s i n g social s u p p o r t (religious p e o p l e h a v e r e l a t i o n s h i p s through their religious c o m m u n i t i e s , a n d m a n y h a v e a relationship with G o d ) . A portion of the benefits of religiosity 3 3 c o u l d a l s o be a result of the c o n f e s s i o n and

The Uses of Adversity 1 39 d i s c l o s u r e of i n n e r t u r m o i l , e i t h e r to G o d or to a r e l i g i o u s a u t h o r i t y t h a t m a n y religions e n c o u r a g e . A n d finally, n o m a t t e r h o w well o r poorly p r e p a r e d y o u a r e w h e n t r o u b l e s t r i k e s , a t s o m e p o i n t i n t h e m o n t h s a f t e r w a r d s , pull o u t a p i e c e o f p a p e r a n d start writing. P e n n e b a k e r s u g g e s t s 3 4 t h a t y o u w r i t e c o n t i n u o u s l y for f i f t e e n m i n u t e s a day, for several d a y s . D o n ' t edit or c e n s o r y o u r s e l f ; d o n ' t worry a b o u t g r a m m a r o r s e n t e n c e s t r u c t u r e ; j u s t k e e p writing. W r i t e a b o u t w h a t h a p p e n e d , h o w you f e e l a b o u t it, a n d why y o u f e e l t h a t way. I f y o u h a t e to write, y o u c a n talk into a t a p e recorder. T h e c r u c i a l t h i n g is to get your t h o u g h t s a n d f e e l i n g s o u t w i t h o u t i m p o s i n g a n y o r d e r o n t h e m — b u t in s u c h a w a y that, a f t e r a f e w d a y s , s o m e o r d e r is likely to e m e r g e on its o w n . B e f o r e y o u c o n c l u d e your last s e s s i o n , b e s u r e y o u h a v e d o n e y o u r best t o a n s w e r t h e s e two q u e s t i o n s : W h y did this h a p p e n ? W h a t g o o d m i g h t I d e r i v e f r o m it?

FOR

E V E R Y T H I N G

T H E R E

IS

A

S E A S O N

If t h e a d v e r s i t y h y p o t h e s i s is true, a n d if t h e m e c h a n i s m of b e n e f i t h a s to d o with s e n s e m a k i n g a n d g e t t i n g t h o s e t h r e e levels o f p e r s o n a l i t y t o c o here, t h e n t h e r e s h o u l d b e t i m e s i n life w h e n a d v e r s i t y will b e m o r e o r l e s s b e n e f i c i a l . P e r h a p s t h e s t r o n g v e r s i o n o f t h e h y p o t h e s i s i s t r u e d u r i n g only a part of t h e life c o u r s e ? T h e r e a r e m a n y r e a s o n s for t h i n k i n g that c h i l d r e n a r e p a r t i c u l a r l y v u l n e r a b l e t o adversity. G e n e s g u i d e b r a i n d e v e l o p m e n t t h r o u g h o u t c h i l d hood, but that d e v e l o p m e n t i s a l s o a f f e c t e d b y e n v i r o n m e n t a l c o n t e x t , a n d o n e o f t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t c o n t e x t u a l f a c t o r s i s t h e overall level o f s a f e t y v e r s u s threat. G o o d p a r e n t i n g c a n h e l p t u n e u p t h e a t t a c h m e n t s y s t e m t o m a k e a c h i l d m o r e a d v e n t u r o u s ; yet, e v e n b e y o n d s u c h e f f e c t s , if a c h i l d ' s e n v i r o n m e n t f e e l s s a f e a n d c o n t r o l l a b l e , t h e c h i l d will (on a v e r a g e ) d e v e l o p a m o r e p o s i t i v e a f f e c t i v e style, a n d will b e l e s s a n x i o u s a s a n a d u l t . 3 S B u t i f (he e n v i r o n m e n t o f f e r s daily u n c o n t r o l l a b l e t h r e a t s ( f r o m p r e d a t o r s , b u l lies, o r r a n d o m v i o l e n c e ) , t h e child's brain will b e a l t e r e d , s e t t o b e l e s s t r u s t i n g a n d m o r e v i g i l a n t . 3 6 G i v e n that m o s t p e o p l e i n m o d e r n W e s t e r n

150

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

nations live in safe worlds where o p t i m i s m and a p p r o a c h motivations generally pay off, and given that most p e o p l e in psychotherapy n e e d loosening up, not tightening up, it is probably b e s t for children to develop the most positive affective style, or the highest set range (S from c h a p t e r 5), that their genes will allow. Major adversity is unlikely to have m a n y — o r perhaps any—beneficial e f f e c t s for children. ( O n the other hand, children are amazingly resilient and are not as easily d a m a g e d by one-time events, even by sexual a b u s e , as m o s t p e o p l e t h i n k . 3 7 C h r o n i c c o n d i t i o n s are m u c h more important.) Of course, children n e e d limits to learn self-control, and they need plenty of failure to learn that s u c c e s s takes hard work and persistence. Children should be protected, b u t not spoiled. Things might be different for t e e n a g e r s . Younger children know s o m e stories about themselves, but the active a n d chronic striving to integrate one's past, present, a n d future into a coherent narrative begins only in the mid to late t e e n s . 3 8 This claim is s u p p o r t e d by a curious fact about autobiographical memory calledvthe " m e m o r y b u m p . " W h e n p e o p l e older than thirty are asked to r e m e m b e r the m o s t important or vivid events of their lives, they are disproportionately likely to recall events that occurred between the ages of fifteen and twenty-five. 3 9 T h i s is the age when a person's life blooms—first love, college and intellectual growth, living and perhaps traveling independently—and it is the time when young p e o p l e (at least in Western countries) make many of the c h o i c e s that will d e f i n e their lives. If there is a special period for identify formation, a time w h e n life events are going to have the biggest i n f l u e n c e on the rest of the life-story, this is it. So adversity, especially if overcome fully, is probably most beneficial in the fate teens and early twenties. We can't ethically conduct experiments that induce t r a u m a at different ages, but in a way life has performed t h e s e experiments for us. T h e major events of the twentieth c e n t u r y — t h e G r e a t Depression, World War II—hit people at different ages, and the sociologist G l e n E l d e r 4 0 has produced elegant analyses of longitudinal data (collected from the s a m e people over many d e c a d e s ) to find out why s o m e thrived and others c r u m b l e d after these adversities hit. Elder once s u m m a r i z e d his findings this way: " T h e r e is a storyline across all the work I've d o n e . Events do not have meaning in

The Uses of Adversity 1 39 themselves. T h o s e m e a n i n g s are derived from the interactions b e t w e e n p e o p l e , g r o u p s , a n d t h e e x p e r i e n c e itself. K i d s w h o w e n t t h r o u g h very d i f f i c u l t c i r c u m s t a n c e s u s u a l l y c a m e out r a t h e r w e l l . " 4 ' E l d e r f o u n d t h a t a lot h i n g e d o n t h e f a m i l y a n d t h e p e r s o n ' s d e g r e e o f social i n t e g r a t i o n : C h i l d r e n a s well a s a d u l t s w h o w e a t h e r e d c r i s e s w h i l e e m b e d d e d w i t h i n s t r o n g s o cial g r o u p s a n d n e t w o r k s f a r e d m u c h b e t t e r ; they w e r e m o r e likely t o c o m e out stronger and mentally healthier than were those who f a c e d adversity w i t h o u t s u c h s o c i a l s u p p o r t . S o c i a l n e t w o r k s didn't j u s t r e d u c e s u f f e r i n g , they o f f e r e d a v e n u e s for f i n d i n g m e a n i n g a n d p u r p o s e ( a s D u r k h e i m c o n c l u d e d f r o m his s t u d i e s o f s u i c i d e ) . 4 2 For e x a m p l e , the w i d e l y s h a r e d a d versity o f t h e G r e a t D e p r e s s i o n o f f e r e d m a n y y o u n g p e o p l e t h e c h a n c e t o m a k e a real c o n t r i b u t i o n to their f a m i l i e s by f i n d i n g a j o b t h a t b r o u g h t in a tew d o l l a r s a w e e k . T h e n e e d for p e o p l e t o p u l l together within t h e i r n a tions t o fight World W a r I I a p p e a r s t o h a v e m a d e t h o s e w h o lived t h r o u g h it m o r e r e s p o n s i b l e a n d civic m i n d e d , at least in the U n i t e d S t a t e s , e v e n if l hey p l a y e d no d i r e c t role in t h e w a r e f f o r t . 4 3 T h e r e is, h o w e v e r , a t i m e limit o n first adversity. E l d e r s a y s t h a t l i f e starts t o "crystallize" b y t h e l a t e t w e n t i e s . E v e n y o u n g m e n w h o h a d n o t b e e n d o i n g well b e f o r e s e r v i n g i n W o r l d W a r I I o f t e n t u r n e d t h e i r l i v e s a r o u n d a f t e r w a r d , but p e o p l e w h o f a c e d their first real life t e s t a f t e r t h e a g e o f thirty (for e x a m p l e , c o m b a t i n that war, o r f i n a n c i a l r u i n i n t h e G r e a t D e p r e s s i o n ) w e r e l e s s r e s i l i e n t a n d l e s s likely t o grow f r o m their e x p e r i e n c e s . S o adversity m a y b e m o s t b e n e f i c i a l for p e o p l e i n their late t e e n s a n d into their t w e n t i e s . Elder's w o r k is full of r e m i n d e r s that t h e a c t i o n is in t h e i n t e r a c t i o n s — (hat is, t h e w a y s that one's u n i q u e p e r s o n a l i t y i n t e r a c t s with d e t a i l s a b o u t a n e v e n t a n d its s o c i a l c o n t e x t t o p r o d u c e a p a r t i c u l a r a n d o f t e n u n p r e dictable o u t c o m e . In the area of research known as "life-span d e v e l o p m e n t , " 4 4 t h e r e are f e w s i m p l e r u l e s i n t h e f o r m o f " X c a u s e s Y." N o b o d y , t h e r e f o r e , c a n p r o p o s e a n i d e a l life c o u r s e with c a r e f u l l y s c h e d u l e d a d v e r sity that w o u l d b e b e n e f i c i a l for e v e r y o n e . W e c a n say, however, t h a t for m a n y p e o p l e , particularly t h o s e w h o o v e r c a m e adversity i n their t w e n t i e s , a d v e r s i t y m a d e t h e m stronger, better, a n d e v e n h a p p i e r t h a n t h e y w o u l d have b e e n w i t h o u t it.

52

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

E R R O R

A N D

W I S D O M

I expect that w h e n I have children, I'll be no d i f f e r e n t f r o m other p a r e n t s in wanting to edit their f o r e h e a d writing a n d r e m o v e all adversity. Even if I could be c o n v i n c e d that a t r a u m a e x p e r i e n c e d at the a g e of"twenty-four was going to t e a c h my d a u g h t e r i m p o r t a n t l e s s o n s and m a k e her a better person, I'd think: Well, why can't I j u s t t e a c h her t h o s e l e s s o n s directly? Isn't there s o m e way s h e c a n r e a p the b e n e f i t s without the c o s t s ? But a c o m m o n p i e c e of worldly w i s d o m is that life's m o s t important l e s s o n s cannot be taught directly. M a r c e l P r o u s t s a i d : We do not receive wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness which no one else can make for us, which no one can spare us, for our wisdom is the point of view from which we c o m e at last to regard the world. 4 5 R e c e n t research o n w i s d o m proves P r o u s t correct. K n o w l e d g e c o m e s i n two major f o r m s : explicit a n d tacit. Explicit k n o w l e d g e is all the f a c t s you know and c a n c o n s c i o u s l y report, i n d e p e n d e n t of context. WTierever I a m , I know that the capital of Bulgaria is S o f i a . Explicit k n o w l e d g e is taught directly in s c h o o l s . T h e rider g a t h e r s it up a n d files it away, r e a d y for u s e in later reasoning. B u t w i s d o m is b a s e d — a c c o r d i n g to Robert S t e r n b e r g , 4 6 a leading w i s d o m r e s e a r c h e r — o n "tacit k n o w l e d g e . " Tacit k n o w l e d g e is procedural (it's "knowing how" rather than " k n o w i n g that"), it is a c q u i r e d without direct help from others, a n d it is related to goals that a p e r s o n values. Tacit knowledge r e s i d e s in the e l e p h a n t . It's the skills that the e l e p h a n t acquires, gradually, f r o m life e x p e r i e n c e . It d e p e n d s on context: T h e r e is no universal set of best p r a c t i c e s for e n d i n g a r o m a n t i c relationship, c o n s o l i n g a friend, or resolving a moral d i s a g r e e m e n t . W i s d o m , says Sternberg, is the tacit k n o w l e d g e that lets a p e r s o n b a l a n c e two sets of things. First, wise p e o p l e a r e a b l e to b a l a n c e their own n e e d s , the n e e d s of others, a n d the n e e d s of p e o p l e or things b e y o n d the immediate interaction (e.g., institutions, the e n v i r o n m e n t , or p e o p l e w h o may be adversely a f f e c t e d later on). Ignorant p e o p l e s e e everything in black and w h i t e — t h e y rely heavily on the myth of p u r e e v i l — a n d they are strongly

The Uses of Adversity 1 39 i n f l u e n c e d b y their o w n self-interest. T h e w i s e a r e a b l e t o s e e t h i n g s f r o m others' p o i n t s of view, a p p r e c i a t e s h a d e s of gray, a n d t h e n c h o o s e or a d v i s e a c o u r s e of a c t i o n that w o r k s o u t bfest for e v e r y o n e in t h e l o n g run. S e c o n d , wise p e o p l e are able to balance three r e s p o n s e s to situations: a d a p t a t i o n ( c h a n g i n g t h e s e l f t o fit t h e e n v i r o n m e n t ) , s h a p i n g ( c h a n g i n g t h e e n v i r o n ment), and selection (choosing to move to a new environment). T h i s s e c o n d b a l a n c e c o r r e s p o n d s roughly t o t h e f a m o u s " s e r e n i t y p r a y e r " : " G o d , g r a n t m e t h e serenity t o a c c e p t t h e things I c a n n o t c h a n g e , c o u r a g e t o c h a n g e t h e things I c a n , a n d w i s d o m t o k n o w t h e d i f f e r e n c e . " 4 7 I f y o u a l r e a d y k n o w t h i s prayer, your rider k n o w s it (explicitly). If you live this prayer, your e l e p h a n t k n o w s it, too (tacitly), a n d you a r e w i s e . Sternberg's i d e a s s h o w why p a r e n t s can't t e a c h their c h i l d r e n w i s d o m directly. T h e b e s t they c a n do is provide a r a n g e of life e x p e r i e n c e s t h a t will help their c h i l d r e n a c q u i r e tacit k n o w l e d g e in a variety of l i f e d o m a i n s . Pare n t s c a n a l s o m o d e l w i s d o m i n their o w n lives a n d gently e n c o u r a g e c h i l d r e n to think a b o u t s i t u a t i o n s , look at other v i e w p o i n t s , a n d a c h i e v e b a l a n c e in c h a l l e n g i n g t i m e s . S h e l t e r your c h i l d r e n w h e n y o u n g , b u t i f t h e s h e l t e r i n g g o e s o n through t h e child's t e e n s a n d t w e n t i e s , i t m a y k e e p o u t w i s d o m a n d growth a s well a s p a i n . S u f f e r i n g o f t e n m a k e s p e o p l e m o r e c o m p a s s i o n a t e , helping t h e m find b a l a n c e b e t w e e n self a n d others. S u f f e r i n g o f t e n l e a d s t o active c o p i n g ( S t e r n b e r g ' s s h a p i n g ) , r e a p p r a i s a l c o p i n g ( S t e r n b e r g ' s a d a p t a tion), o r c h a n g e s i n p l a n s a n d d i r e c t i o n s ( S t e r n b e r g ' s s e l e c t i o n ) . P o s t t r a u matic growth usually involves, therefore, the growth of w i s d o m . T h e s t r o n g v e r s i o n o f t h e a d v e r s i t y h y p o t h e s i s m i g h t b e t r u e , b u t only i f w e a d d c a v e a t s : For adversity t o b e m a x i m a l l y b e n e f i c i a l , i t s h o u l d h a p p e n a t t h e right t i m e ( y o u n g a d u l t h o o d ) , t o t h e right p e o p l e ( t h o s e with t h e s o cial a n d p s y c h o l o g i c a l r e s o u r c e s t o rise t o c h a l l e n g e s a n d f i n d b e n e f i t s ) , a n d t o t h e r i g h t d e g r e e (not s o s e v e r e a s t o c a u s e P T S D ) . E a c h life c o u r s e i s s o u n p r e d i c t a b l e that w e c a n n e v e r k n o w w h e t h e r a p a r t i c u l a r s e t b a c k will be b e n e f i c i a l to a p a r t i c u l a r p e r s o n in t h e l o n g r u n . B u t p e r h a p s we do k n o w e n o u g h t o allow s o m e e d i t i n g o f a child's f o r e h e a d w r i t i n g : G o a h e a d a n d e r a s e s o m e o f t h o s e early t r a u m a s , but think t w i c e , o r a w a i t f u t u r e res e a r c h , b e f o r e e r a s i n g the rest.

The

Felicity of Virtue

It is impossible to live the pleasant life without also living sensibly, nobly and justly, and it is impossible to live sensibly, nobly and justly without living pleasantly. —

E P I C U R U S

1

Set your heart on doing good. Do it over and over again, and you will be filled xvith joy. A fool is happy until his mischief turns against him. And a good man may suffer until his goodness flowers. —

B U D D H A 2

S A G E S A N D E L D E R S u r g e v i r t u e on t h e y o u n g , t h e y s o m e t i m e s sound like snake-oil s a l e s m e n . T h e w i s d o m literature o f m a n y c u l t u r e s e s sentially says, " G a t h e r r o u n d , I h a v e a tonic that will m a k e you h a p p y , healthy, wealthy, a n d wise! It will get you into h e a v e n , a n d bring you j o y ori earth along the way! J u s t be virtuous!" Young p e o p l e are extremely g o o d , though, at rolling their eyes a n d shutting their ears. T h e i r interests a n d d e sires are o f t e n at o d d s with t h o s e of a d u l t s ; they quickly f i n d ways to p u r s u e their g o a l s a n d get t h e m s e l v e s into t r o u b l e , w h i c h o f t e n b e c o m e s character-building adventure. H u c k F i n n runs away f r o m h i s foster m o t h e r t o raft d o w n the M i s s i s s i p p i with a n e s c a p e d s l a v e ; t h e y o u n g B u d d h a WFIEN

155

156

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

l e a v e s his father's p a l a c e t o h e g i n h i s s p i r i t u a l q u e s t i n t h e f o r e s t ; L u k e S k y w a l k e r l e a v e s h i s h o m e p l a n e t t o j o i n t h e g a l a c t i c r e b e l l i o n . All t h r e e set o f f o n e p i c j o u r n e y s t h a t m a k e e a c h i n t o a n a d u l t , c o m p l e t e with a set o f n e w virtues. T h e s e h a r d - w o n v i r t u e s a r e e s p e c i a l l y a d m i r a b l e t o u s a s readers b e c a u s e they reveal a d e p t h a n d authenticity of c h a r a c t e r that w e don't s e e i n t h e o b e d i e n t kid w h o s i m p l y a c c e p t s t h e v i r t u e s h e w a s r a i s e d with. I n this light r B e n F r a n k l i n i s s u p r e m e l y a d m i r a b l e . B o r n i n B o s t o n i n 1 7 0 6 , h e w a s a p p r e n t i c e d a t t h e a g e o f twelve t o his o l d e r b r o t h e r J a m e s , w h o o w n e d a p r i n t i n g s h o p . A f t e r m a n y d i s p u t e s with ( a n d b e a t i n g s f r o m ) his brother, h e y e a r n e d for f r e e d o m , b u t J a m e s w o u l d not r e l e a s e h i m f r o m the legal contract o f his a p p r e n t i c e s h i p . S o a t the a g e o f s e v e n t e e n , B e n broke the law a n d s k i p p e d town. He got on a b o a t to N e w York a n d , failing to find work there, k e p t o n g o i n g t o P h i l a d e l p h i a . T h e r e h e f o u n d w o r k a s a n apprentice printer a n d , through skill a n d d i l i g e n c e , eventually o p e n e d his own print s h o p a n d p u b l i s h e d his o w n n e w s p a p e r . H e w e n t o n t o s p e c t a c u l a r s u c c e s s in b u s i n e s s (Poor Richard's Almanack—a c o m p e n d i u m of sayings and m a x i m s — w a s a hit in its day); in s c i e n c e ( h e proved that l i g h t n i n g is electricity, then t a m e d it by i n v e n t i n g t h e l i g h t n i n g rod); in p o l i t i c s ( h e h e l d too many o f f i c e s t o n a m e ) ; a n d i n d i p l o m a c y ( h e p e r s u a d e d F r a n c e t o join the A m e r i c a n colonies' war a g a i n s t Britain, t h o u g h F r a n c e h a d little to gain from the enterprise). He lived to eighty-four a n d enjoyed the ride. He took pride in his scientific d i s c o v e r i e s a n d civic c r e a t i o n s ; he b a s k e d in t h e love a n d est e e m o f F r a n c e a s well a s o f A m e r i c a ; a n d e v e n a s a n old m a n h e relished the attentions o f w o m e n . W h a t w a s h i s s e c r e t ? V i r t u e . N o t t h e sort o f u p t i g h t , p l e a s u r e - h a t i n g P u r i t a n i s m that s o m e p e o p l e n o w a s s o c i a t e with that w o r d , b u t a b r o a d e r k i n d o f v i r t u e t h a t g o e s b a c k t o a n c i e n t G r e e c e . T h e G r e e k w o r d arete m e a n t e x c e l l e n c e , virtue, o r g o o d n e s s , e s p e c i a l l y o f a f u n c t i o n a l sort. T h e arete of a knife is to c u t w e l l ; t h e arete of an e y e is to s e e w e l l ; t h e arete of a p e r s o n is . . . well, that's o n e of t h e o l d e s t q u e s t i o n s of p h i l o s o p h y : W h a t is the true n a t u r e , f u n c t i o n , or goal of a p e r s o n , relative to w h i c h we c a n say that he or s h e is living well or b a d l y ? T h u s in s a y i n g that well b e i n g or h a p p i n e s s (eudaimonia) is " a n activity of s o u l in c o n f o r m i t y w i t h e x c e l l e n c e or

7 "he Felicity of Virtue

1 57

v i r t u e , " 3 A r i s t o t l e w a s n ' t s a y i n g t h a t h a p p i n e s s c o m e s f r o m giving t o t h e p o o r a n d s u p p r e s s i n g your sexuality. H e w a s s a y i n g that a g o o d life i s o n e w h e r e y o u d e v e l o p your s t r e n g t h s , realize your p o t e n t i a l , a n d b e c o m e w h a t it is in your n a t u r e to b e c o m e . (Aristotle b e l i e v e d that all things in t h e u n i v e r s e h a d a telos, or p u r p o s e t o w a r d w h i c h they a i m e d , e v e n t h o u g h he d i d not b e l i e v e t h a t t h e g o d s h a d d e s i g n e d all t h i n g s . ) O n e o f Franklin's m a n y gifts w a s his extraordinary ability t o s e e p o t e n t i a l a n d then realize it. H e s a w t h e p o t e n t i a l o f p a v e d a n d lighted s t r e e t s , v o l u n teer fire d e p a r t m e n t s , a n d p u b l i c libraries, a n d h e p u s h e d t o m a k e t h e m all a p p e a r i n P h i l a d e l p h i a . H e s a w t h e potential o f t h e y o u n g A m e r i c a n r e p u b lic a n d p l a y e d m a n y roles i n c r e a t i n g it. H e a l s o s a w t h e p o t e n t i a l i n h i m s e l f for i m p r o v i n g his ways, a n d he s e t o u t to do so. In his late t w e n t i e s , as a y o u n g printer a n d e n t r e p r e n e u r , h e e m b a r k e d o n w h a t h e c a l l e d a " b o l d a n d a r d u o u s p r o j e c t o f arriving a t m o r a l p e r f e c t i o n . " 4 H e p i c k e d a f e w v i r t u e s h e w a n t e d t o cultivate, a n d h e tried t o live accordingly. H e d i s c o v e r e d i m m e d i ately the l i m i t a t i o n s of the rider: While my c a r e w a s employed in guarding against o n e fault, I was o f t e n surprised by another; habit took the a d v a n t a g e of inattention; inclination w a s s o m e t i m e s too strong for r e a s o n . I c o n c l u d e d , at length, that t h e m e r e speculative conviction that it w a s our interest to be completely virtuous was not sufficient to prevent our slipping, a n d that the contrary habits m u s t b e broken, and good o n e s a c q u i r e d a n d established, b e f o r e we c a n have any d e p e n d e n c e on a steady, uniform r e c t i t u d e of c o n d u c t ; 5 F r a n k l i n w a s a brilliant intuitive p s y c h o l o g i s t . H e r e a l i z e d that t h e r i d e r c a n b e s u c c e s s f u l only t o t h e e x t e n t that i t trains t h e e l e p h a n t ( t h o u g h h e did not u s e t h o s e t e r m s ) , s o h e d e v i s e d a training r e g i m e n . H e w r o t e o u t a list o f thirteen v i r t u e s , e a c h l i n k e d t o s p e c i f i c b e h a v i o r s that h e s h o u l d o r s h o u l d not d o . (For e x a m p l e : " T e m p e r a n c e : E a t not t o d u l l n e s s " ; " F r u g a l i t y : M a k e n o e x p e n s e b u t t o d o g o o d t o o t h e r s o r yourselF'; " C h a s t i t y : R a r e l y u s e v e n e r y b u t for h e a l t h o r o f f s p r i n g " ) . H e t h e n p r i n t e d a t a b l e m a d e u p o f s e v e n c o l u m n s ( o n e for e a c h d a y o f t h e w e e k ) a n d thirteen rows ( o n e f o r e a c h virtue), a n d h e p u t a b l a c k s p o t i n t h e a p p r o p r i a t e s q u a r e e a c h t i m e

158

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

he failed to live a w h o l e day in a c c o r d a n c e with a particular virtue. He concentrated on only o n e virtue a w e e k , h o p i n g to k e e p its row clear of spots while paying no s p e c i a l attention to the other virtues, t h o u g h he filled in their rows w h e n e v e r violations o c c u r r e d . O v e r thirteen w e e k s , he worked through the whole tahle. T h e n he r e p e a t e d the p r o c e s s , f i n d i n g that with repetition the tahle got less a n d less spotty. Franklin wrote in his autobiography that, though he fell far short of p e r f e c t i o n : "I w a s , by the endeavor, a better and a h a p p i e r m a n than I o t h e r w i s e s h o u l d have b e e n if I had not att e m p t e d it." He w e n t on: " M y posterity s h o u l d be i n f o r m e d that to this little a r t i f i c e , with t h e b l e s s i n g o f G o d , their a n c e s t o r ow'd t h e c o n s t a n t felicity of his life, d o w n to his 7 9 t h year, in which this is written." 6 We can't know whether, without his virtue table, Franklin would have b e e n any less h a p p y or s u c c e s s f u l , b u t we c a n s e a r c h for o t h e r e v i d e n c e to test his m a i n psychological c l a i m . T h i s c l a i m , which I will call the "virtue hypothesis," is the s a m e c l a i m m a d e by E p i c u r u s and t h e B u d d h a in the e p i g r a p h s that o p e n this c h a p t e r : C u l t i v a t i n g virtue will m a k e you happy. T h e r e are plenty of r e a s o n s to d o u b t the virtue h y p o t h e s i s . Franklin himself a d m i t t e d that he failed utterly to d e v e l o p the virtue of humility, yet he reaped great social gains by learning to f a k e it. Perhaps the virtue hypothesis will turn out to be true only in a c y n i c a l , M a c h i a v e l l i a n way: Cultivating the appearance of virtue will m a k e you s u c c e s s f u l , and t h e r e f o r e happy, regardless of your true character.

T H E

V I R T U E S

O F

THE

A N C I E N T S

Ideas have pedigrees, ideas have b a g g a g e . W h e n we W e s t e r n e r s think about morality, we u s e c o n c e p t s that are t h o u s a n d s of years old, but that took a turn in their d e v e l o p m e n t in the last two h u n d r e d years. We don't realize that our approach to morality is odd f r o m the perspective of other cultures, or that it is b a s e d on a particular set of psychological a s s u m p t i o n s — a set that now a p p e a r s to be wrong. Every culture is c o n c e r n e d a b o u t the moral d e v e l o p m e n t of its children, and in every culture that left us m o r e t h a n a f e w p a g e s of writing, we find texts that reveal its a p p r o a c h to morality. S p e c i f i c rules a n d prohibitions vary,

7 "he Felicity of Virtue

1

57

b u t the b r o a d outlines o f t h e s e a p p r o a c h e s have a lot i n c o m m o n . M o s t c u l tures wrote about virtues that should be cultivated, a n d many of t h o s e virtues were a n d still are v a l u e d a c r o s s m o s t c u l t u r e s 7 (for e x a m p l e , h o n e s t y , j u s t i c e , c o u r a g e , b e n e v o l e n c e , self-restraint, a n d r e s p e c t for authority). M o s t a p p r o a c h e s t h e n s p e c i f i e d a c t i o n s that w e r e g o o d a n d b a d with r e s p e c t t o t h o s e virtues. M o s t a p p r o a c h e s w e r e p r a c t i c a l , striving t o i n c u l c a t e v i r t u e s that w o u l d b e n e f i t t h e p e r s o n w h o cultivates t h e m . O n e of t h e o l d e s t works of direct m o r a l i n s t r u c t i o n is t h e Teaching of Amenemope, an E g y p t i a n text t h o u g h t to h a v e b e e n written a r o u n d 1 3 0 0 I3CE. It b e g i n s by d e s c r i b i n g i t s e l f as " i n s t r u c t i o n a b o u t l i f e " a n d as a " g u i d e for w e l l - b e i n g , " p r o m i s i n g that w h o e v e r c o m m i t s its l e s s o n s t o h e a r t will " d i s c o v e r . . . a t r e a s u r e h o u s e o f life, a n d [his] b o d y will f l o u r i s h u p o n e a r t h . " A m e n e m o p e t h e n o f f e r s thirty c h a p t e r s o f a d v i c e a b o u t how t o t r e a t other people, develop self-restraint, and find s u c c e s s a n d c o n t e n t m e n t i n t h e p r o c e s s . For e x a m p l e , a f t e r r e p e a t e d l y u r g i n g h o n e s t y , p a r t i c u l a r l y i n r e s p e c t i n g t h e b o u n d a r y m a r k e r s o f o t h e r f a r m e r s , t h e text says: Plow your fields, and you'll find, what you need, You '11 receive bread from your threshing floor. Better is a bushel given you by God Than five thousand through wrongdoing.

. .

.

Better is bread with a happy heart Than

wealth

with

vexation.8

If this last line s o u n d s f a m i l i a r to you, it is b e c a u s e t h e biblical b o o k of I'roverbs b o r r o w e d a lot f r o m A m e n e m o p e . For e x a m p l e : " B e t t e r is a little with the f e a r o f the L o r d than great t r e a s u r e a n d t r o u b l e with it" ( P R O V E R B S • 5 : 1 6 ) .

An additional c o m m o n f e a t u r e is that t h e s e a n c i e n t t e x t s rely heavily on m a x i m s a n d role m o d e l s rather than p r o o f s a n d logic. M a x i m s are c a r e f u l l y p h r a s e d t o p r o d u c e a f l a s h o f insight a n d a p p r o v a l . R o l e m o d e l s a r e p r e s e n t e d t o elicit a d m i r a t i o n a n d a w e . W h e n moral i n s t r u c t i o n triggers e m o tions, i t s p e a k s t o the e l e p h a n t a s well a s the rider. T h e w i s d o m o f C o n f u c i u s mid B u d d h a , for e x a m p l e , c o m e s d o w n t o u s a s lists o f a p h o r i s m s s o t i m e l e s s unci evocative that p e o p l e still r e a d t h e m today for p l e a s u r e a n d g u i d a n c e ,

160

'i'll

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

refer to them as "worldwide laws of life," 9 and write books a b o u t their scientific validity. A third f e a t u r e of m a n y a n c i e n t t e x t s is that they e m p h a s i z e p r a c t i c e a n d habit rather t h a n f a c t u a l k n o w l e d g e . C o n f u c i u s c o m p a r e d moral dev e l o p m e n t to learning how to play m u s i c ; 1 0 both require the study of texts, o b s e r v a n c e of role m o d e l s , a n d m a n y years of p r a c t i c e to d e v e l o p "virtuosity." Aristotle u s e d a similar m e t a p h o r : Men b e c o m e builders by building h o u s e s , and harpists by playing the harp. Similarly, we'grow just by the practice of just actions, self-controlled by exercising our self-control, a n d c o u r a g e o u s by p e r f o r m i n g acts of courage. 1 1 B u d d h a o f f e r e d his followers the " E i g h t f o l d N o b l e Path," a set of activities that will, with p r a c t i c e , c r e a t e an ethical p e r s o n (by right s p e e c h , right action, right livelihood), a n d a mentally disciplined p e r s o n (by right effort, right m i n d f u l n e s s , right c o n c e n t r a t i o n ) . In all t h e s e ways, the a n c i e n t s reveal a s o p h i s t i c a t e d u n d e r s t a n d i n g of moral psychology, similar to Franklin's. T h e y all knew that virtue resides in a well-trained e l e p h a n t . T h e y all k n e w that training t a k e s daily p r a c t i c e and a great deal of repetition. T h e rider m u s t take part in the training, but if moral instruction i m p a r t s only explicit k n o w l e d g e ( f a c t s that the rider can state), it will have no e f f e c t on t h e e l e p h a n t , a n d t h e r e f o r e little e f f e c t on behavior. M o r a l e d u c a t i o n m u s t a l s o impart tacit k n o w l e d g e — s k i l l s of social p e r c e p t i o n a n d social e m o t i o n so finely t u n e d that o n e automatically feels the right thing in e a c h situation, knows the right thing to do, a n d then wants to do it. Morality, for the a n c i e n t s , was a kind of p r a c t i c a l w i s d o m .

H o w

THE

W E S T

W A S

L O S T

T h e Western a p p r o a c h to morality got off to a great start; as in other ancient cultures, i t f o c u s e d o n virtues. T h e O l d T e s t a m e n t , t h e N e w Testament, Homer, a n d A e s o p all s h o w that our f o u n d i n g c u l t u r e s relied heavily on proverbs, m a x i m s , f a b l e s , a n d role m o d e l s to illustrate a n d t e a c h the

The Felicity of Virtue

161

virtues. Plato's Republic a n d Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics, two of t h e g r e a t e s t w o r k s o f G r e e k p h i l o s o p h y , a r e e s s e n t i a l l y t r e a t i s e s o n the v i r t u e s a n d their cultivation. E v e n t h e E p i c u r e a n s , w h o t h o u g h t p l e a s u r e w a s t h e goal o f life, b e l i e v e d that p e o p l e n e e d e d virtues t o c u l t i v a t e p l e a s u r e s . Yet c o n t a i n e d i n t h e s e early t r i u m p h s o f G r e e k p h i l o s o p h y a r e t h e s e e d s o f later f a i l u r e . First, t h e G r e e k m i n d that g a v e u s m o r a l inquiry a l s o g a v e u s t h e b e g i n n i n g s o f s c i e n t i f i c inquiry, t h e a i m o f w h i c h i s t o s e a r c h f o r t h e s m a l l e s t s e t o f l a w s that c a n e x p l a i n t h e e n o r m o u s v a r i e t y o f e v e n t s i n the world. S c i e n c e v a l u e s p a r s i m o n y , b u t v i r t u e t h e o r i e s , with their l o n g lists o f v i r t u e s , w e r e n e v e r p a r s i m o n i o u s . H o w m u c h m o r e s a t i s f y i n g i t w o u l d b e t o t h e s c i e n t i f i c m i n d t o h a v e o n e virtue, p r i n c i p l e , o r rule f r o m w h i c h all o t h e r s c o u l d b e d e r i v e d ? S e c o n d , t h e w i d e s p r e a d p h i l o s o p h i c a l w o r s h i p o f r e a s o n m a d e m a n y p h i l o s o p h e r s u n c o m f o r t a b l e with l o c a t i n g virtue i n h a b i t s a n d f e e l i n g s . A l t h o u g h Plato l o c a t e d m o s t o f virtue i n t h e rationality o f his charioteer, e v e n h e h a d t o c o n c e d e t h a t virtue r e q u i r e d the right p a s s i o n s ; h e t h e r e f o r e c a m e u p with t h a t c o m p l i c a t e d m e t a p h o r i n w h i c h o n e o f t w o h o r s e s c o n t a i n s s o m e virtue, b u t t h e o t h e r h a s none.For P l a t o a n d m a n y later t h i n k e r s , rationality w a s a gift f r o m t h e g o d s , a tool to control o u r a n i m a l l u s t s . R a t i o n a l i t y h a d to be in c h a r g e . T h e s e t w o s e e d s — t h e q u e s t for p a r s i m o n y a n d t h e w o r s h i p o f r e a s o n — lay d o r m a n t in the c e n t u r i e s a f t e r the fall of R o m e , b u t they s p r o u t e d a n d b l o o m e d i n the E u r o p e a n E n l i g h t e n m e n t o f the e i g h t e e n t h century. A s a d vances in technology and c o m m e r c e began to c r e a t e a n e w world, s o m e p e o p l e b e g a n t o s e e k rationally j u s t i f i e d social a n d political a r r a n g e m e n t s , " f h e F r e n c h p h i l o s o p h e r R e n 6 D e s c a r t e s , writing i n t h e s e v e n t e e n t h c e n t u r y , w a s q u i t e h a p p y t o rest his ethical s y s t e m o n the b e n e v o l e n c e o f G o d , b u t E n l i g h t e n m e n t thinkers s o u g h t a f o u n d a t i o n for e t h i c s that did not d e p e n d o n divine revelation o r o n G o d ' s e n f o r c e m e n t . I t w a s a s t h o u g h s o m e b o d y had o f f e r e d a prize, like the prizes that lured early aviators to u n d e r t a k e daring j o u r n e y s : T e n t h o u s a n d p o u n d s sterling t o the first p h i l o s o p h e r - w h o c a n c o m e up with a single moral rule, to be a p p l i e d t h r o u g h t h e p o w e r of r e a s o n , that c a n cleanly s e p a r a t e g o o d from b a d . H a d there been s u c h a prize, it would have gone to the G e r m a n philosopher I m m a n u e l K a n t . 1 2 L i k e Plato, K a n t b e l i e v e d t h a t h u m a n b e i n g s h a v e a dual n a t u r e : p a r t a n i m a l a n d p a r t rational. T h e a n i m a l p a r t o f u s f o l l o w s

162

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

the laws of nature, j u s t as d o e s a falling rock or a lion killing its prey. T h e r e is no morality in nature; there is only causality. B u t the rational part of us, Kant said, c a n follow a d i f f e r e n t kind of law: It c a n r e s p e c t rules of conduct, and so p e o p l e (but not lions) c a n be j u d g e d morally for the d e g r e e to which they r e s p e c t the right rules. W h a t might t h o s e rules b e ? H e r e Kant devised the cleverest trick in all m o r a l philosophy. He r e a s o n e d that for moral r u l e s to be laws, they h a d to be universally a p p l i c a b l e . If gravity worked differently for m e n a n d w o m e n , or for Italians a n d E g y p t i a n s , we could not s p e a k of it as a law. B u t rather than s e a r c h i n g for rules to which all p e o p l e w o u l d in fact agree (a d i f f i c u l t task, likely to p r o d u c e only a f e w bland generalities), Kant turned the p r o b l e m a r o u n d a n d said that p e o p l e should think a b o u t whether the rules g u i d i n g their own a c t i o n s c o u l d reasonably be proposed as universal laws. If y o u are p l a n n i n g to break a promise that has b e c o m e i n c o n v e n i e n t , c a n you really p r o p o s e a universal rule that states p e o p l e ought to break p r o m i s e s that have b e c o m e inconvenient? E n d o r s i n g s u c h a rule would r e n d e r all p r o m i s e s m e a n i n g l e s s . N o r c o u l d you consistently will that p e o p l e c h e a t , lie, steal, or in any other way deprive other p e o p l e of their rights or their property, for s u c h evils w o u l d surely c o m e b a c k to visit you. T h i s s i m p l e test, w h i c h Kant c a l l e d the "categorical imperative," w a s extraordinarily p o w e r f u l . It o f f e r e d to m a k e e t h i c s a branch of a p p l i e d logic, thereby giving it the sort of certainty that s e c u l a r ethics, without r e c o u r s e to a s a c r e d b o o k , h a d always f o u n d elusive. Over the following d e c a d e s , the E n g l i s h p h i l o s o p h e r J e r e m y B e n t h a m c h a l l e n g e d K a n t for the ( h y p o t h e t i c a l ) prize. W h e n B e n t h a m b e c a m e a lawyer in 1767, he w a s a p p a l l e d by the complexities a n d inefficiencies of English law. He set out, with typical e n l i g h t e n m e n t b o l d n e s s , to re-conceive the entire legal a n d legislative s y s t e m by stating clear goals a n d proposing the most rational m e a n s of achieving those goals. T h e ultimate goal of all legislation, he c o n c l u d e d , was the good of the people; a n d the m o r e good, the better. B e n t h a m w a s the father of utilitarianism, the doctrine that in all decisionmaking (legal and personal), our goal should be the m a x i m u m total benefit (utility), but who gets the benefit is of little c o n c e r n . 1 3 T h e argument between Kant a n d B e n t h a m has c o n t i n u e d ever since. Descendants of Kant (known as "deontologists" from the G r e e k deon, obligation) try to elaborate the duties and obligations that ethical p e o p l e m u s t respect,

The Felicity of Virtue

163

e v e n w h e n their a c t i o n s lead t o b a d o u t c o m e s (for e x a m p l e , you m u s t n e v e r kill an i n n o c e n t p e r s o n , e v e n if d o i n g so will s a v e a h u n d r e d lives). D e s c e n d a n t s o f B e n t h a m ( k n o w n a s " c o n s e q u e n t i a l i s t s " b e c a u s e they e v a l u a t e actions only by their c o n s e q u e n c e s ) try to work out the rules a n d p o l i c i e s that will bring a b o u t the g r e a t e s t g o o d , even w h e n d o i n g s o will s o m e t i m e s v i o l a t e other ethical principles (go a h e a d a n d kill t h e o n e to s a v e the h u n d r e d , they say, u n l e s s it will set a b a d e x a m p l e that l e a d s to later p r o b l e m s ) . D e s p i t e their m a n y d i f f e r e n c e s , h o w e v e r , t h e t w o c a m p s a g r e e i n i m p o r tant ways. T h e y b o t h b e l i e v e i n p a r s i m o n y : D e c i s i o n s s h o u l d b e b a s e d ult i m a t e l y o n o n e p r i n c i p l e only, b e i t t h e c a t e g o r i c a l i m p e r a t i v e o r t h e m a x i m i z a t i o n o f utility. T h e y both insist t h a t only t h e rider c a n m a k e s u c h d e c i s i o n s b e c a u s e m o r a l d e c i s i o n m a k i n g r e q u i r e s logical r e a s o n i n g a n d sometimes even mathematical calculation. They both distrust intuitions a n d g u t f e e l i n g s , w h i c h they s e e a s o b s t a c l e s t o g o o d r e a s o n i n g . A n d t h e y b o t h s h u n t h e p a r t i c u l a r i n favor o f t h e a b s t r a c t : You don't n e e d a r i c h , t h i c k d e s c r i p t i o n o f t h e p e o p l e involved, o r o f their b e l i e f s a n d c u l t u r a l trad i t i o n s . \ b u j u s t n e e d a f e w f a c t s a n d a r a n k e d list o f their likes a n d d i s l i k e s (if y o u a r e a utilitarian). It d o e s n ' t m a t t e r w h a t c o u n t r y or h i s t o r i c a l e r a y o u a r e in; i t d o e s n ' t m a t t e r w h e t h e r t h e p e o p l e involved a r e your f r i e n d s , y o u r e n e m i e s , o r c o m p l e t e s t r a n g e r s . T h e m o r a l law, like a l a w o f p h y s i c s , w o r k s t h e s a m e for all p e o p l e a t all t i m e s . T h e s e two p h i l o s o p h i c a l a p p r o a c h e s h a v e m a d e e n o r m o u s c o n t r i b u t i o n s t o legal a n d political theory a n d p r a c t i c e ; i n d e e d , they h e l p e d c r e a t e s o c i e t i e s that r e s p e c t individual rights ( K a n t ) while still w o r k i n g e f f i c i e n t l y for the good of the p e o p l e (Bentham). But these ideas have also p e r m e a t e d W e s t e r n c u l t u r e m o r e generally, w h e r e they h a v e h a d s o m e u n i n t e n d e d c o n s e q u e n c e s . T h e p h i l o s o p h e r E d m u n d P i n c o f f s 1 4 h a s a r g u e d that c o n s e q u e n tialists a n d d e o n t o l o g i s t s w o r k e d t o g e t h e r t o c o n v i n c e W e s t e r n e r s i n t h e twentieth c e n t u r y t h a t morality i s the s t u d y o f moral q u a n d a r i e s a n d d i l e m m a s . W h e r e t h e G r e e k s f o c u s e d o n the character o f a p e r s o n a n d a s k e d w h a t kind o f p e r s o n w e s h o u l d e a c h a i m t o b e c o m e , m o d e m e t h i c s f o c u s e s o n actions, a s k i n g w h e n a p a r t i c u l a r a c t i o n is right or wrong. P h i l o s o p h e r s w r e s t l e with l i f e - a n d - d e a t h d i l e m m a s : Kill o n e to s a v e five? A l l o w a b o r t e d f e t u s e s to be used as a source of stem cells? R e m o v e the feeding tube from a w o m a n w h o h a s b e e n u n c o n s c i o u s for f i f t e e n y e a r s ? N o n p h i l o s o p h e r s w r e s t l e w i t h

64

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

smaller quandaries: Pay my taxes w h e n o t h e r s are cheating? T u r n in a wallet full of money that a p p e a r s to belong to a d r u g dealer? Tell my s p o u s e about a sexual indiscretion? T h i s turn f r o m c h a r a c t e r e t h i c s to q u a n d a r y ethics has t u r n e d moral education away from virtues a n d toward moral reasoning. If morality is about d i l e m m a s , then moral e d u c a t i o n is training in p r o b l e m solving. C h i l d r e n m u s t be taught how to think a b o u t moral p r o b l e m s , e s p e c i a l l y h o w to overc o m e their natural e g o i s m a n d take into their c a l c u l a t i o n s t h e n e e d s o f others. A s the U n i t e d S t a t e s b e c a m e m o r e ethnically diverse i n the 1 9 7 0 s a n d 1 9 8 0 s , a n d a l s o m o r e a v e r s e t o authoritarian m e t h o d s o f e d u c a t i o n , the idea of t e a c h i n g s p e c i f i c moral f a c t s a n d values went out of fashion. Instead, the rationalist legacy of q u a n d a r y e t h i c s g a v e us t e a c h e r s a n d many parents w h o would e n t h u s i a s t i c a l l y e n d o r s e this line, f r o m a r e c e n t childrearing h a n d b o o k : " M y a p p r o a c h d o e s not t e a c h children w h a t a n d what not to do and why, b u t rather, it t e a c h e s t h e m how to think so they c a n dec i d e for t h e m s e l v e s w h a t a n d w h a t not to do, and why." 1 5 I believe that this turn f r o m c h a r a c t e r to q u a n d a r y w a s a p r o f o u n d mistake, for two reasons. First, it w e a k e n s morality and limits its s c o p e . W h e r e the a n c i e n t s s a w virtue a n d c h a r a c t e r at work in everything a p e r s o n d o e s , our m o d e r n c o n c e p t i o n c o n f i n e s morality to a set of s i t u a t i o n s that arise for e a c h p e r s o n only a f e w t i m e s in any given week: t r a d e o f f s b e t w e e n selfinterest a n d the interests of others. In o u r thin a n d restricted m o d e r n conception, a moral p e r s o n is o n e w h o gives to charity, helps o t h e r s , plays by the rules, a n d in general d o e s not p u t her o w n self-interest too far a h e a d of others'. M o s t of the activities a n d d e c i s i o n s of life are t h e r e f o r e insulated f r o m moral c o n c e r n . W h e n morality i s r e d u c e d t o the o p p o s i t e o f selfinterest, however, the virtue h y p o t h e s i s b e c o m e s paradoxical: In m o d e r n terms, the virtue h y p o t h e s i s says that a c t i n g against your self-interest is in your self-interest. It's hard to c o n v i n c e p e o p l e that this is true, a n d it can't possibly be true in all situations. In his time, B e n Franklin had a m u c h e a s ier task w h e n he extolled the virtue h y p o t h e s i s . L i k e the a n c i e n t s , he had a thicker, richer notion of virtues as a g a r d e n of e x c e l l e n c e s that a p e r s o n cultivates to b e c o m e m o r e e f f e c t i v e a n d a p p e a l i n g to others. S e e n in this way, virtue is, obviously, its o w n r e w a r d . F r a n k l i n ' s e x a m p l e implicitly p o s e d this q u e s t i o n for his c o n t e m p o r a r i e s a n d his d e s c e n d a n t s : Are you

The Felicity of Virtue

165

willing t o w o r k n o w for your o w n later well-being, o r a r e y o u s o lazy a n d s h o r t - s i g h t e d that you won't m a k e t h e e f f o r t ? T h e s e c o n d p r o b l e m with the t u r n t o moral r e a s o n i n g i s that i t r e l i e s o n bad psychology. M a n y moral e d u c a t i o n efforts since the 1 9 7 0 s take t h e rider o f f o f t h e e l e p h a n t a n d train h i m t o solve p r o b l e m s o n his o w n . A f t e r being exposed to hours of case studies, classroom discussions about m o r a l dilemmas, and videos about people who faced dilemmas and m a d e the right c h o i c e s , t h e c h i l d l e a r n s h o w (not w h a t ) t o think. T h e n c l a s s e n d s , the rider g e t s b a c k o n t h e e l e p h a n t , a n d n o t h i n g c h a n g e s a t r e c e s s . T r y i n g t o m a k e c h i l d r e n b e h a v e ethically b y t e a c h i n g t h e m t o r e a s o n well i s l i k e trying to m a k e a d o g h a p p y by w a g g i n g its tail. It g e t s c a u s a l i t y b a c k w a r d s . D u r i n g my first year of g r a d u a t e s c h o o l at the University of P e n n s y l v a n i a , I d i s c o v e r e d t h e w e a k n e s s of m o r a l r e a s o n i n g in m y s e l f . I r e a d a w o n d e r f u l book—Practical Ethics—by the P r i n c e t o n p h i l o s o p h e r Peter S i n g e r . 1 6 S i n g e r , a h u m a n e consequentialist, shows how we c a n apply a consistent c o n c e r n for t h e w e l f a r e o f o t h e r s t o r e s o l v e m a n y e t h i c a l p r o b l e m s o f daily l i f e . Singer's a p p r o a c h t o the e t h i c s o f killing a n i m a l s c h a n g e d forever m y t h i n k ing a b o u t m y f o o d c h o i c e s . S i n g e r p r o p o s e s a n d j u s t i f i e s a f e w g u i d i n g principles: F i r s t , i t i s w r o n g t o c a u s e p a i n a n d s u f f e r i n g t o any s e n t i e n t c r e a ture, t h e r e f o r e c u r r e n t factory f a r m i n g m e t h o d s a r e u n e t h i c a l . S e c o n d , i t i s w r o n g t o t a k e t h e life o f a s e n t i e n t b e i n g that h a s s o m e s e n s e o f identity a n d a t t a c h m e n t s , t h e r e f o r e killing a n i m a l s with large b r a i n s a n d highly d e v e l o p e d social lives ( s u c h as other p r i m a t e s and m o s t other m a m m a l s ) is wrong, e v e n i f they c o u l d b e r a i s e d i n a n e n v i r o n m e n t they e n j o y e d a n d w e r e then killed painlessly. Singer's c l e a r a n d c o m p e l l i n g a r g u m e n t s c o n v i n c e d m e o n t h e s p o t , a n d s i n c e that day I h a v e b e e n morally o p p o s e d t o all f o r m s o f f a c t o r y f a r m i n g . Morally o p p o s e d , but not behaviorally o p p o s e d . I love t h e t a s t e of m e a t , a n d t h e only t h i n g that c h a n g e d in t h e first s i x m o n t h s a f t e r r e a d i n g S i n g e r i s that I t h o u g h t a b o u t m y hypocrisy e a c h t i m e I ordered a hamburger. B u t then, d u r i n g m y s e c o n d year o f g r a d u a t e s c h o o l , I b e g a n t o s t u d y t h e e m o t i o n of d i s g u s t , a n d I w o r k e d with Paul Rozin, o n e of the f o r e m o s t a u thorities on t h e p s y c h o l o g y of e a t i n g . Rozin a n d I w e r e trying to find v i d e o clips t o elicit d i s g u s t i n t h e e x p e r i m e n t s w e w e r e p l a n n i n g , a n d w e m e t o n e morning with a research assistant who s h o w e d us s o m e v i d e o s he h a d

166

'i'll

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

f o u n d . O n e of t h e m w a s Faces of Death, a c o m p i l a t i o n of real a n d f a k e v i d e o f o o t a g e o f p e o p l e b e i n g killed. ( T h e s e s c e n e s w e r e s o d i s t u r b i n g that w e c o u l d not ethically u s e t h e m . ) A l o n g with t h e v i d e o t a p e d s u i c i d e s a n d exec u t i o n s , there w a s a l o n g s e q u e n c e shot i n s i d e a s l a u g h t e r h o u s e . I w a t c h e d in horror as c o w s , m o v i n g d o w n a d r i p p i n g d i s a s s e m b l y line, w e r e bludge o n e d , h o o k e d , a n d s l i c e d up. A f t e r w a r d s , Rozin a n d I w e n t to l u n c h to talk a b o u t the project. W e both o r d e r e d v e g e t a r i a n m e a l s . For d a y s a f t e r w a r d s , t h e sight o f red m e a t m a d e m e queasy. M y visceral f e e l i n g s n o w m a t c h e d the beliefs S i n g e r h a d given m e . T h e e l e p h a n t n o w a g r e e d with the rider, a n d I b e c a m e a vegetarian. For a b o u t t h r e e w e e k s . Gradually, as the d i s g u s t f a d e d , fish a n d c h i c k e n reentered m y diet. T h e n red m e a t did, too, although e v e n now, e i g h t e e n y e a r s later, I still e a t l e s s r e d m e a t a n d c h o o s e n o n factory-farmed m e a t s w h e n they are a v a i l a b l e . T h a t e x p e r i e n c e taught me an i m p o r t a n t l e s s o n . I think of myself as a fairly rational p e r s o n . I f o u n d Singer's a r g u m e n t s p e r s u a s i v e . B u t , to p a r a p h r a s e M e d e a ' s l a m e n t (from c h a p t e r 1): I s a w t h e right way a n d a p p r o v e d it, but followed the wrong, until a n e m o t i o n c a m e a l o n g t o provide s o m e force.

T H E

V I R T U E S

O F

P O S I T I V E

P S Y C H O L O G Y

T h e cry that w e v e lost our way i s h e a r d f r o m s o m e q u a r t e r i n every c o u n t r y a n d era, but i t h a s b e e n particularly l o u d i n t h e U n i t e d S t a t e s s i n c e the social turmoil o f t h e 1 9 6 0 s a n d t h e e c o n o m i c m a l a i s e a n d r i s i n g c r i m e o f the 1 9 7 0 s . Political c o n s e r v a t i v e s , particularly t h o s e w h o h a v e s t r o n g religious b e l i e f s , bridled a t t h e " v a l u e - f r e e " a p p r o a c h t o m o r a l e d u c a t i o n a n d t h e " e m p o w e r i n g " o f c h i l d r e n t o think for t h e m s e l v e s i n s t e a d o f t e a c h i n g t h e m f a c t s a n d v a l u e s t o think a b o u t . I n t h e 1 9 8 0 s , t h e s e c o n s e r v a t i v e s c h a l l e n g e d t h e e d u c a t i o n e s t a b l i s h m e n t b y p u s h i n g for c h a r a c t e r e d u c a t i o n p r o g r a m s in s c h o o l s , a n d by h o m e - s c h o o l i n g their o w n c h i l d r e n . Also in the 1 9 8 0 s , several p h i l o s o p h e r s h e l p e d to revive virtue theories. M o s t notably, A l a s d a i r M a c l n t y r e a r g u e d in After Virtue17 that the "enlighte n m e n t project" of c r e a t i n g a universal, c o n t e x t - f r e e morality w a s d o o m e d from the beginning. C u l t u r e s that have s h a r e d v a l u e s a n d rich traditions invariably generate a f r a m e w o r k in which p e o p l e c a n v a l u e a n d evaluate e a c h

The Felicity of Virtue

167

other. O n e c a n easily talk a b o u t the virtues of a priest, a soldier, a mother, or a m e r c h a n t in the c o n t e x t of f o u r t h - c e n t u r y BCE A t h e n s . S t r i p a w a y all i d e n tity a n d context, however, a n d there i s little t o grab o n to. H o w m u c h c a n y o u s a y a b o u t the virtues of a generalized Homo sapiens, f l o a t i n g in s p a c e with no p a r t i c u l a r sex, a g e , o c c u p a t i o n , o r c u l t u r e ? T h e m o d e r n r e q u i r e m e n t t h a t e t h i c s ignore particularity is w h a t gave us our w e a k e r m o r a l i t y — - a p p l i c a b l e everywhere, but e n c o m p a s s i n g nQwhere. M a c l n t y r e s a y s that t h e loss of a l a n g u a g e of virtue, g r o u n d e d in a particular tradition, m a k e s it difficult for us t o find m e a n i n g , c o h e r e n c e , a n d p u r p o s e i n life. 1 8 I n r e c e n t y e a r s , e v e n p s y c h o l o g y h a s b e c o m e involved. I n 1 9 9 8 , M a r t i n S e l i g m a n f o u n d e d positive p s y c h o l o g y w h e n h e a s s e r t e d t h a t p s y c h o l o g y h a d lost its way. P s y c h o l o g y h a d b e c o m e o b s e s s e d with p a t h o l o g y a n d t h e d a r k s i d e o f h u m a n n a t u r e , b l i n d t o all that w a s g o o d a n d n o b l e i n p e o p l e . S e l i g m a n n o t e d that psychologists had created an e n o r m o u s m a n u a l , k n o w n as

t h e " D S M " ( t h e Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Dis-

orders), t o d i a g n o s e e v e r y p o s s i b l e m e n t a l i l l n e s s a n d b e h a v i o r a l a n n o y a n c e , b u t p s y c h o l o g y didn't e v e n h a v e a l a n g u a g e with w h i c h t o talk a b o u t t h e u p p e r r e a c h e s o f h u m a n h e a l t h , talent, a n d possibility. W h e n S e l i g m a n l a u n c h e d p o s i t i v e psychology, o n e o f his first g o a l s w a s t o c r e a t e a d i a g n o s tic m a n u a l f o r t h e s t r e n g t h s a n d v i r t u e s . H e a n d a n o t h e r p s y c h o l o g i s t , C h r i s P e t e r s o n o f t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f M i c h i g a n , set o u t t o c o n s t r u c t a list o f t h e s t r e n g t h s a n d virtues, o n e that m i g h t b e valid for a n y h u m a n c u l t u r e . I a r g u e d with t h e m that t h e list d i d not h a v e to be valid for all c u l t u r e s to be useful; they s h o u l d f o c u s just on large-scale industrial societies. S e v e r a l a n t h r o p o l o g i s t s told t h e m that a universal list c o u l d n e v e r be c r e a t e d . F o r tunately, h o w e v e r , t h e y p e r s e v e r e d . A s a first s t e p , P e t e r s o n a n d S e l i g m a n s u r v e y e d every list o f v i r t u e s t h e y c o u l d f i n d , f r o m t h e holy b o o k s o f m a j o r religions d o w n t o t h e B o y S c o u t O a t h ("trustworthy, loyal, h e l p f u l , friendly . . . "). T h e y m a d e large t a b l e s of virtues a n d t r i e d t o s e e w h i c h o n e s w e r e c o m m o n a c r o s s lists. A l t h o u g h n o s p e c i f i c v i r t u e m a d e e v e r y list, six b r o a d v i r t u e s , o r f a m i l i e s o f r e l a t e d v i r t u e s , a p p e a r e d o n nearly all lists: w i s d o m , c o u r a g e , h u m a n i t y , j u s t i c e , t e m p e r a n c e , a n d t r a n s c e n d e n c e ( t h e ability t o f o r g e c o n n e c t i o n s t o s o m e thing larger t h a n t h e self)- T h e s e virtues a r e widely e n d o r s e d b e c a u s e t h e y are abstract: T h e r e are many ways to be wise, or c o u r a g e o u s , or h u m a n e ,

168

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

a n d it is i m p o s s i b l e to find a h u m a n c u l t u r e that rejects all f o r m s of any of t h e s e virtues. ( C a n we even i m a g i n e a c u l t u r e in which p a r e n t s h o p e that their children will grow up to be foolish, cowardly, a n d c r u e l ? ) B u t the real value of the list of six is that it serves as an organizing f r a m e w o r k for m o r e s p e c i f i c strengths of character. P e t e r s o n a n d S e l i g m a n d e f i n e c h a r a c t e r s t r e n g t h s a s s p e c i f i c w a y s o f d i s p l a y i n g , p r a c t i c i n g , a n d c u l t i v a t i n g the virtues. Several p a t h s lead to e a c h virtue. P e o p l e , as well as c u l t u r e s , vary in the d e g r e e to which they v a l u e e a c h p a t h . T h i s is the real p o w e r of the classification: It points to s p e c i f i c m e a n s of growth toward widely valued e n d s without insisting that any o n e w a y is m a n d a t o r y for all p e o p l e at all times. T h e classification is a tool for d i a g n o s i n g people's diverse strengths and for helping t h e m find ways to c u l t i v a t e e x c e l l e n c e . Peterson and S e l i g m a n s u g g e s t that there are twenty-four principle character strengths, e a c h leading to o n e of t h e six higher-level v i r t u e s . 1 9 You c a n diagnose yourself by looking at the list b e l o w or by taking the strengths test (at www.authentichappiness.org). 1. W i s d o m : • Curiosity • L o v e of learning • Judgment • • Ingenuity • E m o t i o n a l intelligence • Perspective 2. Courage: • Valor • Perseverance • Integrity 3. H u m a n i t y : • Kindness • Loving 4. J u s t i c e : • Citizenship • Fairness • Leadership

The Felicity of Virtue

169

5.

Temperance: • Self-control • Prudence • Humility 6. Transcendence: • Appreciation of beauty a n d excellence • Gratitude • Hope • Spirituality • Forgiveness • Humor • Zest O d d s a r e that y o u don't have m u c h trouble with t h e list o f six v i r t u e f a m i lies, b u t you d o h a v e o b j e c t i o n s t o t h e longer list o f s t r e n g t h s . W h y i s h u m o r a m e a n s to t r a n s c e n d e n c e ? W h y is l e a d e r s h i p on the list, b u t n o t t h e v i r t u e s of followers and subordinates—duty, respect, a n d o b e d i e n c e ? P l e a s e , go a h e a d a n d argue. T h e g e n i u s o f P e t e r s o n a n d S e l i g m a n ' s c l a s s i f i c a t i o n i s t o get the c o n v e r s a t i o n going, to p r o p o s e a s p e c i f i c list of s t r e n g t h s a n d v i r t u e s , a n d then let t h e s c i e n t i f i c a n d t h e r a p e u t i c c o m m u n i t i e s w o r k o u t t h e d e t a i l s . J u s t a s t h e D S M i s thoroughly revised every ten o r f i f t e e n y e a r s , t h e c l a s s i f i cation o f s t r e n g t h s a n d virtues ( k n o w n a m o n g positive p s y c h o l o g i s t s a s t h e " u n - D S M " ) is s u r e to be revised a n d i m p r o v e d in a f e w y e a r s . In d a r i n g to be s p e c i f i c , i n d a r i n g t o b e wrong, P e t e r s o n a n d S e l i g m a n h a v e d e m o n s t r a t e d ingenuity, l e a d e r s h i p , a n d h o p e . T h i s c l a s s i f i c a t i o n i s a l r e a d y g e n e r a t i n g exciting r e s e a r c h a n d l i b e r a t i n g ideas. Here's m y favorite idea: Work o n your s t r e n g t h s , not y o u r w e a k n e s s e s . H o w m a n y o f your N e w dear's resolutions h a v e b e e n a b o u t fixing a f l a w ? A n d h o w m a n y of t h o s e r e s o l u t i o n s h a v e y o u m a d e several y e a r s in a r o w ? It's difficult to c h a n g e ^any a s p e c t of your personality by s h e e r f o r c e of will, arid if it is a w e a k n e s s you c h o o s e to work o n , y o u p r o b a b l y won't e n j o y t h e p r o c e s s . If you don't find p l e a s u r e or r e i n f o r c e m e n t a l o n g the way, t h e n — u n l e s s y o u have the willpower o f B e n Franklin—you'll s o o n give u p . B u t y o u don't really have t o b e g o o d a t everything. L i f e o f f e r s s o m a n y c h a n c e s t o u s e o n e tool ins t e a d of another, a n d o f t e n y o u c a n u s e a strength to get a r o u n d a w e a k n e s s .

170

'i'll

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

In the positive psychology class I teach at the University of Virginia, the final project is to make yourself a better person, using all the tools of psychology, and then prove that you have done so. About half the students e a c h year succeed, and the most s u c c e s s f u l ones usually either use cognitive behavioral therapy on themselves (it really does work!) or employ a strength, or both. For example, one student lamented her inability to forgive. H e r mental life was dominated by ruminations about how those to whom she was closest had hurt her. For her project, she drew on her strength of loving: E a c h time she f o u n d herself spiraling d o w n into t h o u g h t s a b o u t v i c t i m h o o d , she brought to mind a positive memory about the person in question, which triggered a flash'of affection. E a c h flash cut off her anger and freed her, temporarily, from rumination. In time, this e f f o r t f u l mental p r o c e s s b e c a m e habitual and she b e c a m e more forgiving (as she demonstrated using the reports she had filled out each day to chart her progress). T h e rider had trained the elephant with rewards at each step. Another outstanding project was done by a woman who had j u s t undergone surgery for brain cancer. At the age of twenty-one, Julia faced no better than even odds of surviving. To deal with her fears, she cultivated one of her strengths—zest. S h e m a d e lists of the activities going on at the university and of the beautiful hikes and parks in the nearby Blue Ridge Mountains. S h e shared these lists with the rest of the class, she took time away from her studies to go on these hikes, and she invited friends and c l a s s m a t e s to join her. People often say that adversity makes t h e m want to live e a c h day to the fullest, and when Julia m a d e a c o n s c i o u s effort to cultivate her natural strength of zest, she really did it. ( S h e is still full of zest today.) Virtue s o u n d s like hard work, and o f t e n is. But when virtues are reconceived as excellences, each of which c a n be achieved by the practice of several strengths of character, and when the practice of these strengths is often intrinsically rewarding, s u d d e n l y the work s o u n d s m o r e like Csikszentmihalyi's flow and less like toil. It's work that—like Seligman's description of gratifications—engages you fully, draws on your strengths, and allows you to lose self-consciousness and i m m e r s e yourself in what you are doing. Franklin would be pleased: T h e virtue hypothesis is alive a n d well, firmly e n s c o n c e d in positive psychology.

7 "he Felicity of Virtue 1 57 H A R D

Q U E S T I O N ,

EASY

A N S W E R S

Virtue c a n b e its o w n reward, b u t that's o b v i o u s only for t h e virtues t h a t o n e f i n d s rewarding. If your s t r e n g t h s i n c l u d e c u r i o s i t y or love of learning, you'll e n j o y c u l t i v a t i n g w i s d o m b y traveling, g o i n g t o m u s e u m s , a n d a t t e n d i n g public lectures. If your strengths include gratitude a n d a p p r e c i a t i o n of beauty, the f e e l i n g s of t r a n s c e n d e n c e you get f r o m c o n t e m p l a t i n g t h e G r a n d C a n y o n will give you p l e a s u r e too. B u t it w o u l d be n a i v e to t h i n k t h a t d o i n g the right t h i n g always f e e l s g o o d . T h e real test o f t h e virtue h y p o t h e s i s is to s e e w h e t h e r it is true e v e n in o u r r e s t r i c t e d m o d e r n u n d e r s t a n d i n g of morality as a l t r u i s m . Forget all that s t u f f a b o u t g r o w t h a n d e x c e l l e n c e . Is it true that a c t i n g a g a i n s t my self-interest, for t h e g o o d of o t h e r s , e v e n w h e n I don't w a n t to, i s still g o o d for m e ? S a g e s a n d m o r a l i s t s h a v e a l w a y s a n s w e r e d with a n u n q u a l i f i e d yes, b u t t h e c h a l l e n g e for s c i e n c e i s t o q u a l i f y : W h e n is it true, a n d w h y ? Religion a n d s c i e n c e e a c h begin with a n e a s y a n d u n s a t i s f y i n g a n s w e r , b u t then m o v e o n t o m o r e s u b t l e a n d interesting explanations. For religious s a g e s , the e a s y way o u t is to invoke divine reciprocity in the afterlife. Do g o o d , b e c a u s e G o d will p u n i s h the w i c k e d a n d reward t h e virtuous. For C h r i s t i a n s , there's heaven o r hell. H i n d u s have the i m p e r s o n a l workings o f k a r m a : T h e universe will r e p a y you in the next life with a higher or lower rebirth, w h i c h will d e p e n d u p o n your virtue in this life. I'm in no p o s i t i o n to- say w h e t h e r G o d , h e a v e n , or an a f t e r l i f e e x i s t s , b u t as a p s y c h o l o g i s t I am entitled to point o u t that belief in p o s t m o r t e m j u s t i c e s h o w s t w o s i g n s o f primitive moral thinking. I n t h e 1 9 2 0 s , the g r e a t d e v e l o p m e n t a l p s y c h o l o g i s t J e a n P i a g e t 2 0 got d o w n o n his k n e e s t o play m a r b l e s a n d j a c k s with c h i l d r e n a n d , i n t h e p r o c e s s , m a p p e d o u t h o w m o r a l i t y d e velops. H e f o u n d that, a s c h i l d r e n d e v e l o p a n increasingly s o p h i s t i c a t e d u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f right a n d w r o n g , they g o t h r o u g h a p h a s e i n w h i c h m a n y rules t a k e o n a kind o f s a c r e d n e s s a n d unchangeability. D u r i n g this p h a s e , children b e l i e v e in " i m m a n e n t j u s t i c e " — j u s t i c e that is i n h e r e n t in an a c t itself. I n this s t a g e , they t h i n k that i f t h e y b r e a k r u l e s , e v e n a c c i d e n t a l l y , s o m e t h i n g b a d will h a p p e n t o t h e m , e v e n i f n o b o d y k n o w s a b o u t t h e i r I r a n s g r e s s i o n s . I m m a n e n t j u s t i c e s h o w s u p i n a d u l t s , too, p a r t i c u l a r l y w h e n

172

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

it c o m e s to explaining illness a n d grave m i s f o r t u n e . A survey 2 1 of beliefs about the c a u s e s of illness a c r o s s c u l t u r e s s h o w s that the three m o s t c o m m o n explanations are b i o m e d i c a l (referring to physical c a u s e s of d i s e a s e ) , interpersonal (illness is c a u s e d by witchcraft, related to envy a n d conflict), and moral (illness is c a u s e d by one's own past actions, particularly violations of food and sexual taboos). M o s t W e s t e r n e r s c o n s c i o u s l y e m b r a c e the biomedical explanation and reject the other two, yet w h e n illness strikes and Westerners ask, "Why m e ? " o n e of the p l a c e s they often look for a n s w e r s is to their own past transgressions. T h e belief that G o d or fate will dole out rewards a n d p u n i s h m e n t s for g o o d a n d bad behavior s e e m s on its f a c e to be a c o s m i c extension of our childhood belief in i m m a n e n t j u s t i c e , which is itself a part of our o b s e s s i o n with reciprocity. T h e s e c o n d problem with p o s t m o r t e m j u s t i c e is that it relies on the myth of p u r e evil. 2 2 E a c h of us c a n easily divide t h e world into g o o d a n d evil, but presumably G o d would not s u f f e r f r o m the m a n y b i a s e s and Machiavellian motivations that m a k e us do so. M o r a l motivations (justice, honor, loyalty, patriotism) enter into m o s t a c t s of violence, including terrorism a n d war. M o s t people believe their a c t i o n s a r e morally justified. A f e w p a r a g o n s of evil stand out as c a n d i d a t e s for hell, but a l m o s t everyone e l s e would e n d up in limbo. It j u s t won't work to turn G o d into S a n t a C l a u s , a moral a c c o u n t ant keeping track of 6 billion a c c o u n t s , b e c a u s e m o s t lives can't be placed definitively in the naughty or nice c o l u m n s . T h e scientific a p p r o a c h to the q u e s t i o n a l s o b e g i n s with an easy and unsatisfying answer: Virtue is g o o d for your g e n e s u n d e r s o m e c i r c u m s t a n c e s . W h e n "survival of the fittest" c a m e to m e a n "survival of the fittest g e n e , " it b e c a m e easy to s e e that the fittest g e n e s w o u l d motivate kind a n d c o o p e r a tive behavior in two s c e n a r i o s : w h e n it b e n e f i t e d t h o s e w h o bore a copy of those g e n e s (that is, kin), or w h e n it b e n e f i t e d the b e a r e r s of the g e n e s directly b y h e l p i n g t h e m r e a p the s u r p l u s o f n o n - z e r o - s u m g a m e s u s i n g the tit-for-tat strategy. T h e s e two p r o c e s s e s — k i n altruism a n d reciprocal a l t r u i s m — d o i n d e e d explain nearly all a l t r u i s m a m o n g n o n h u m a n a n i m a l s , a n d m u c h of h u m a n altruism, too. T h i s a n s w e r is unsatisfying, however, b e c a u s e our g e n e s are, t o s o m e e x t e n t , p u p p e t m a s t e r s m a k i n g u s want things that are s o m e t i m e s good for t h e m b u t b a d for us ( s u c h as extramarital affairs, or prestige bought at the e x p e n s e of h a p p i n e s s ) . We c a n n o t look

7 "he Felicity of Virtue

1

57

to g e n e t i c s e l f - i n t e r e s t as a g u i d e e i t h e r to v i r t u o u s or to h a p p y living. F u r t h e r m o r e , a n y o n e w h o d o e s e m b r a c e r e c i p r o c a l a l t r u i s m a s a justification for a l t r u i s m ( r a t h e r t h a n m e r e l y a c a u s e o f it) w o u l d t h e n b e f r e e t o p i c k a n d c h o o s e : B e n i c e t o t h o s e w h o c a n h e l p y o u , b u t don't w a s t e t i m e o r m o n e y o n a n y o n e e l s e (for e x a m p l e , n e v e r l e a v e a tip i n r e s t a u r a n t s y o u will not return to). S o t o e v a l u a t e t h e i d e a that a l t r u i s m p a y s for t h e a l t r u ist, w e n e e d t o p u s h t h e s a g e s a n d t h e s c i e n t i s t s h a r d e r : D o e s i t e v e n p a y w h e n t h e r e i s n e i t h e r p o s t m o r t e m nor r e c i p r o c a l p a y b a c k ?

H A R D

Q U E S T I O N ,

H A R D

A N S W E R S

S t . Paul q u o t e s J e s u s a s h a v i n g s a i d t h a t "it i s m o r e b l e s s e d t o give t h a n t o r e c e i v e " ( A C T S 2.0:35). O n e m e a n i n g o f " b l e s s " is "to c o n f e r h a p p i n e s s o r prosperity u p o n . " 2 3 D o e s h e l p i n g o t h e r s really c o n f e r h a p p i n e s s o r p r o s p e r ity o n t h e h e l p e r ? I k n o w o f n o e v i d e n c e s h o w i n g that a l t r u i s t s g a i n m o n e y f r o m their a l t r u i s m , b u t t h e e v i d e n c e s u g g e s t s t h a t they o f t e n g a i n h a p p i ness. People who do volunteer work are happier a n d healthier than t h o s e w h o don't; b u t , a s a l w a y s , w e h a v e t o c o n t e n d with t h e p r o b l e m o f r e v e r s e c o r r e l a t i o n : C o n g e n i t a l l y h a p p y p e o p l e a r e j u s t plain n i c e r t o b e g i n w i t h , 2 4 so their v o l u n t e e r w o r k m a y be a c o n s e q u e n c e of their h a p p i n e s s , n o t a cause. T h e happiness-as-cause hypothesis received direct support w h e n the psychologist Alice I s e n 2 5 went a r o u n d Philadelphia leaving d i m e s in pay p h o n e s . T h e p e o p l e w h o u s e d t h o s e p h o n e s a n d f o u n d t h e d i m e s w e r e then m o r e likely to h e l p a p e r s o n w h o d r o p p e d a s t a c k of p a p e r s ( c a r e f u l l y t i m e d t o c o i n c i d e w i t h t h e p h o n e caller's exit), c o m p a r e d w i t h p e o p l e w h o u s e d p h o n e s that h a d e m p t y c o i n - r e t u r n slots. I s e n h a s d o n e m o r e r a n d o m a c t s o f k i n d n e s s t h a n any o t h e r p s y c h o l o g i s t : S h e h a s d i s t r i b u t e d c o o k i e s , b a g s o f candy, a n d p a c k s o f stationery; s h e h a s m a n i p u l a t e d t h e o u t c o m e o f video g a m e s (to let p e o p l e w i n ) ; a n d s h e h a s s h o w n p e o p l e h a p p y p i c t u r e s , a l w a y s with t h e s a m e f i n d i n g : H a p p y p e o p l e a r e k i n d e r a n d m o r e h e l p f u l t h a n t h o s e i n t h e control g r o u p . W h a t w e n e e d t o f i n d , however, i s t h e r e v e r s e e f f e c t : t h a t a l t r u i s t i c a c t s directly c a u s e h a p p i n e s s a n d / o r o t h e r l o n g - t e r m b e n e f i t s . W i t h its e x h o r t a tion t o "give b l o o d ; all you'll feel i s g o o d , " i s t h e A m e r i c a n R e d C r o s s t e l l i n g

74

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

the truth? T h e psychologist J a n e Piliavin h a s s t u d i e d hlood d o n o r s in detail a n d f o u n d that, yes, giving hlood d o e s i n d e e d m a k e p e o p l e f e e l good, and g o o d a b o u t t h e m s e l v e s . Piliavin 2 6 h a s r e v i e w e d the b r o a d e r literature on all kinds o f v o l u n t e e r work a n d r e a c h e d the c o n c l u s i o n that h e l p i n g others d o e s help the self, b u t in c o m p l e x ways that d e p e n d on one's life stage. Res e a r c h on "service learning," in w h i c h ( m o s t l y ) high school s t u d e n t s do volunteer work a n d e n g a g e in g r o u p r e f l e c t i o n on what they are d o i n g as part of a c o u r s e , provides generally e n c o u r a g i n g results: r e d u c e d d e l i n q u e n c y a n d behavioral p r o b l e m s , i n c r e a s e d civic participation, a n d i n c r e a s e d c o m m i t m e n t to positive social v a l u e s . However, t h e s e p r o g r a m s do not a p p e a r to have m u c h e f f e c t on the s e l f - e s t e e m or h a p p i n e s s of the a d o l e s c e n t s involved. For a d u l t s , the story is a bit d i f f e r e n t . A longitudinal s t u d y 2 7 that tracked volunteering and well-being over many years in t h o u s a n d s of p e o p l e w a s a b l e to s h o w a c a u s a l e f f e c t : W h e n a p e r s o n i n c r e a s e d volunteer work, all m e a s u r e s of h a p p i n e s s a n d well-being i n c r e a s e d (on average) afterwards, for as long as the volunteer w o r k w a s a part of the person's life. T h e elderly b e n e f i t even more than do other a d u l t s , particularly w h e n their volunteer work either involves direct p e r s o n - t o - p e r s o n h e l p i n g or is d o n e through a religious organization. T h e b e n e f i t s of volunteer work for the elderly are so large that they even s h o w up in i m p r o v e d health a n d longer life. S t e p h a n i e Brown a n d her c o l l e a g u e s at the University of M i c h i g a n f o u n d striking e v i d e n c e of s u c h e f f e c t s w h e n they e x a m i n e d d a t a f r o m a large longitudinal study of older married c o u p l e s . 2 8 T h o s e who r e p o r t e d giving m o r e h e l p a n d s u p p o r t to s p o u s e s , f r i e n d s , a n d relatives went on to live longer than those w h o gave less (even a f t e r controlling for f a c t o r s s u c h as health at the beginning of the s t u d y p e r i o d ) , w h e r e a s the a m o u n t of help that p e o p l e reported receiving s h o w e d no relationship to longevity. Brown's f i n d i n g s h o w s d i r e c t l y that, at l e a s t for o l d e r p e o p l e , it really is m o r e b l e s s e d to give than to receive. This pattern of age-related c h a n g e s u g g e s t s that two of the big benefits of volunteer work are that it brings p e o p l e together, a n d it h e l p s t h e m to construct a M c A d a m s - s t y l e life story. 2 9 A d o l e s c e n t s are already i m m e r s e d in a d e n s e network of social relationships, a n d they are j u s t barely beginning to construct their life stories, so they don't m u c h need either of t h e s e benefits.

7 "he Felicity of Virtue 1 57 With a g e , however, one's story b e g i n s to t a k e s h a p e , a n d altruistic a c t i v i t i e s a d d d e p t h a n d virtue t o one's character. I n old a g e , w h e n s o c i a l n e t w o r k s a r e t h i n n e d by the d e a t h s of f r i e n d s a n d family, the social b e n e f i t s of v o l u n t e e r ing a r e s t r o n g e s t (and i n d e e d , it is t h e m o s t socially isolated elderly w h o b e n e f i t t h e m o s t f r o m v o l u n t e e r i n g ) . 3 0 F u r t h e r m o r e , i n old a g e , g e n e r a t i v i t y , relationship, a n d spiritual strivings c o m e t o m a t t e r m o r e , b u t a c h i e v e m e n t strivings s e e m out o f p l a c e , 3 1 m o r e a p p r o p r i a t e for the m i d d l e c h a p t e r s o f a life story; t h e r e f o r e , an activity that lets o n e "give s o m e t h i n g b a c k " f i t s r i g h t into the story a n d h e l p s to c r a f t a satisfying c o n c l u s i o n .

T H E

F U T U R E

O F

V I R T U E

S c i e n t i f i c r e s e a r c h s u p p o r t s t h e virtue h y p o t h e s i s , e v e n w h e n i t i s r e d u c e d t o t h e c l a i m t h a t a l t r u i s m i s g o o d for y o u . W h e n i t i s e v a l u a t e d i n t h e w a y that B e n F r a n k l i n m e a n t it, a s a c l a i m a b o u t v i r t u e m o r e broadly, i t b e c o m e s so profoundly true that it raises the question of w h e t h e r c u l t u r a l c o n s e r v a t i v e s a r e c o r r e c t i n their c r i t i q u e o f m o d e r n life a n d i t s r e s t r i c t e d , p e r m i s s i v e morality. S h o u l d we in t h e W e s t try to r e t u r n to a m o r e v i r t u e based morality? I b e l i e v e t h a t w e h a v e i n d e e d lost s o m e t h i n g i m p o r t a n t — a richly t e x t u r e d c o m m o n e t h o s with w i d e l y s h a r e d v i r t u e s a n d v a l u e s . J u s t w a t c h m o v i e s f r o m t h e 1 9 3 0 s a n d 1 9 4 0 s a n d you'll s e e p e o p l e m o v i n g a r o u n d i n a d e n s e w e b of moral fibers: C h a r a c t e r s are c o n c e r n e d about their honor, their r e p u t a t i o n , a n d the a p p e a r a n c e o f propriety. C h i l d r e n a r e f r e q u e n t l y d i s c i p l i n e d b y a d u l t s other t h a n their p a r e n t s . T h e g o o d g u y s always w i n , a n d c r i m e never p a y s . I t m a y s o u n d s t u f f y a n d c o n s t r a i n i n g t o u s now, b u t that's t h e p o i n t : S o m e c o n s t r a i n t i s g o o d for u s ; a b s o l u t e f r e e d o m i s n o t . D u r k h e i m , the s o c i o l o g i s t w h o f o u n d that f r e e d o m f r o m s o c i a l t i e s i s c o r r e lated with s u i c i d e 3 2 a l s o g a v e u s t h e w o r d " a n o m i e " ( n o r m l e s s n e s s ) . A n o m i e is t h e c o n d i t i o n of a s o c i e t y in w h i c h t h e r e a r e no c l e a r r u l e s , n o r m s , or s t a n d a r d s o f v a l u e . I n a n a n o m i e society, p e o p l e c a n d o a s t h e y p l e a s e ; b u t without any clear standards or respected social institutions to enforce t h o s e s t a n d a r d s , i t i s h a r d e r for p e o p l e t o f i n d t h i n g s t h e y w a n t t o d o . A n o m i e

176

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

b r e e d s feelings of r o o t l e s s n e s s a n d anxiety a n d l e a d s to an i n c r e a s e in amoral and antisocial behavior. M o d e r n sociological research strongly supports Durkheim: O n e of the best predictors of the health of an American neighborhood is the degree to which a d u l t s r e s p o n d to the m i s d e e d s of other people's children. 3 3 W h e n c o m m u n i t y standards are enforced, there is constraint and cooperation. W h e n everyone m i n d s his own b u s i n e s s and looks the other way, there is freedom and anomie. My colleague at the University of Virginia, the sociologist J a m e s Hunter, carries Durkheim's ideas forward into the current debate a b o u t character education. In his provocative book The Death of Character,34 H u n t e r traces out how America lost its older ideas a b o u t virtue and character. Before the Industrial Revolution, Americans honored the virtues of "producers"—hard work, self-restraint, sacrifice for the future, and sacrifice for the c o m m o n good. But during the twentieth century, as people b e c a m e wealthier and the producer society turned gradually into the m a s s c o n s u m p t i o n society, an alternative vision of the self a r o s e — a vision centered on the idea of individual preferences and personal fulfillment. T h e intrinsically moral term "character" fell out of favor and was replaced by the amoral term "personality." Hunter points to a second c a u s e of character's death: inclusiveness. T h e first American colonists created e n c l a v e s of ethnic, religious, a n d moral homogeneity, but the history of A m e r i c a ever s i n c e has b e e n one of increasing diversity. In r e s p o n s e , e d u c a t o r s have struggled to identify the ever-shrinking set of moral ideas everyone could agree upon. T h i s shrinking reached its logical c o n c l u s i o n in the 1 9 6 0 s with the p o p u l a r "values clarification" movement, which taught no morality at all. Values clarification taught children how to find their own values, and it urged teachers to refrain from imposing values on anyone. Although the goal of inclusiveness was laudable, it had unintended side e f f e c t s : It cut children off from the soil of tradition, history, and religion that nourished older c o n c e p t i o n s of virtue. You can grow vegetables hydroponically, but even then you have to add nutrients to the water. Asking children to grow virtues hydroponically, looking only within themselves for g u i d a n c e , is like asking e a c h one to invent a personal l a n g u a g e — a pointless and isolating task if there is no community with whom to speak. (For a sensitive analysis from a more liberal

7 "he Felicity of Virtue

1

57

p e r s p e c t i v e o f t h e n e e d for " c u l t u r a l r e s o u r c e s " for i d e n t i t y c r e a t i o n , s e e A n t h o n y A p p i a h ' s lite Ethics of Identity.)35 I helieve H u n t e r ' s a n a l y s i s is c o r r e c t , b u t I am not yet c o n v i n c e d t h a t we a r e w o r s e o f f , . o v e r a l l , with o u r r e s t r i c t e d m o d e r n morality. O n e t h i n g t h a t o f t e n d i s t r e s s e s m e i n old m o v i e s a n d t e l e v i s i o n p r o g r a m s , e v e n u p t h r o u g h t h e 1 9 6 0 s , i s h o w l i m i t e d w e r e t h e lives o f w o m e n a n d A f r i c a n A m e r i c a n s . W e h a v e p a i d a p r i c e for o u r i n c l u s i v e n e s s , b u t w e h a v e b o u g h t o u r s e l v e s a more h u m a n e society, with greater o p p o r t u n i t y for racial m i n o r i t i e s , w o m e n , g a y p e o p l e , t h e h a n d i c a p p e d , a n d o t h e r s — t h a t is, for m o s t p e o p l e . A n d e v e n i f s o m e p e o p l e think t h e p r i c e w a s t o o s t e e p , w e can't g o b a c k , either to a p r e - c o n s u m e r society or to ethnically h o m o g e n e o u s e n c l a v e s . All w e c a n d o i s s e a r c h for w a y s that w e m i g h t r e d u c e o u r a n o m i e w i t h o u t e x c l u d i n g large c l a s s e s o f p e o p l e . B e i n g n e i t h e r a s o c i o l o g i s t nor an e x p e r t in e d u c a t i o n policy, I will n o t try to d e s i g n a r a d i c a l n e w a p p r o a c h to m o r a l e d u c a t i o n . I n s t e a d , I will p r e s e n t o n e f i n d i n g f r o m m y o w n r e s e a r c h o n diversity. T h e w o r d " d i v e r s i t y " t o o k o n its c u r r e n t r o l e i n A m e r i c a n d i s c o u r s e o n l y a f t e r a 1 9 7 8 S u p r e m e C o u r t ruling ( U . C . R e g e n t s v . B a k k e ) that t h e u s e o f r a c i a l p r e f e r e n c e s t o a c h i e v e racial q u o t a s a t u n i v e r s i t i e s w a s u n c o n s t i t u t i o n a l , b u t that i t w a s p e r m i s s i b l e t o u s e racial p r e f e r e n c e s t o i n c r e a s e d i v e r s i t y i n t h e s t u d e n t body. S i n c e t h e n , diversity h a s b e e n w i d e l y c e l e b r a t e d , o n b u m p e r s t i c k e r s , i n c a m p u s diversity d a y s , a n d i n a d v e r t i s e m e n t s . F o r m a n y l i b e r als, diversity h a s b e c o m e a n u n q u e s t i o n e d g o o d — l i k e j u s t i c e , f r e e d o m , a n d h a p p i n e s s , t h e m o r e diversity, t h e better. M y r e s e a r c h o n morality, however, s p u r r e d m e t o q u e s t i o n it. G i v e n h o w e a s y it is to d i v i d e p e o p l e into hostile g r o u p s b a s e d on trivial d i f f e r e n c e s , 3 6 1 w o n d e r e d whether c e l e b r a t i n g diversity might also e n c o u r a g e division, whereas celebrating commonality would help people form cohesive, g r o u p s and c o m m u n i t i e s . I quickly realized that there are two m a i n k i n d s of d i v e r s i t y — d e m o g r a p h i c a n d m o r a l . D e m o g r a p h i c diversity i s a b o u t s o c i o d e m o g r a p h i c c a t e g o r i e s s u c h a s r a c e , ethnicity, sex, s e x u a l o r i e n t a t i o n , a g e , nnd h a n d i c a p p e d s t a t u s . C a l l i n g for d e m o g r a p h i c diversity is in large m e a sure calling for j u s t i c e , for the inclusion of previously e x c l u d e d g r o u p s . Moral diversity, o n t h e o t h e r h a n d , i s e s s e n t i a l l y w h a t D u r k h e i m d e s c r i b e d

178

'i'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

as anomie: a lack of c o n s e n s u s on moral n o r m s and values. O n c e you m a k e this distinction, you s e e that n o h o d y c a n coherently even want moral diversity. If you are pro-choice on the i s s u e of abortion, w o u l d you prefer that there be a wide variety of opinions a n d no d o m i n a n t o n e ? Or would you prefer that everyone agree with you and the laws of the land reflect that agreem e n t ? If you prefer diversity on an issue, the issue is not a moral i s s u e for you; it is a matter of personal taste. With my s t u d e n t s Holly Horn a n d E v a n Rosenberg, I c o n d u c t e d a study a m o n g several groups at the University of Virginia. 3 7 We f o u n d that there was strong support a m o n g s t u d e n t s for i n c r e a s i n g diversity for d e m o g r a p h i c categories ( s u c h a s race, religion, a n d social c l a s s ) , even a m o n g s t u d e n t s who described t h e m s e l v e s as politically conservative. M o r a l diversity (opinions a b o u t controversial political q u e s t i o n s ) , however, w a s m u c h less appealing in most contexts, with the interesting exception of s e m i n a r c l a s s e s . S t u d e n t s wanted to be e x p o s e d to moral diversity in c l a s s , b u t not in the p e o p l e they live with and socialize with. O u r c o n c l u s i o n f r o m this study is that diversity is like cholesterol: There's a good kind and a bad kind, and p e r h a p s we should not be trying to m a x i m i z e both. Liberals a r e right to work for a society that is o p e n to p e o p l e of every d e m o g r a p h i c group, b u t conservatives might be right in believing that at the s a m e t i m e we s h o u l d work m u c h harder to create a c o m m o n , s h a r e d identity. Although I am a political liberal, I believe that conservatives have a better u n d e r s t a n d i n g of moral development (although not of moral psychology in g e n e r a l — t h e y are too c o m m i t t e d t o the myth o f p u r e evil). C o n s e r v a t i v e s w a n t s c h o o l s t o t e a c h lessons that will create a positive a n d u n i q u e l y A m e r i c a n identity, including a heavy d o s e of A m e r i c a n history a n d civics, using English as the only national language. Liberals are justifiably wary of j i n g o i s m , nationalism, and the f o c u s on books by " d e a d white m a l e s , " but I think everyone w h o c a r e s about education should r e m e m b e r that the A m e r i c a n m o t t o of e pluribus, unum (from many, one) h a s two parts. T h e celebration of pluribus should be balanced by policies that strengthen the unum. M a y b e it's too late. M a y b e in the hostility of the current culture war, no one c a n find any value in the i d e a s of the other side. Or m a y b e we can turn for instruction to that great moral exemplar, Ben Franklin. Reflecting upon

7 "he Felicity of Virtue

1

57

the w a y history is driven forward by p e o p l e a n d parties fighting e a c h o t h e r bitterly in p u r s u i t of their self-interest, Franklin p r o p o s e d c r e a t i n g a " U n i t e d Party for Virtue." T h i s party, c o m p o s e d of p e o p l e w h o h a d c u l t i v a t e d v i r t u e in t h e m s e l v e s , w o u l d act only "with a view to t h e g o o d of m a n k i n d . " P e r h a p s that w a s naive even in Franklin's day, a n d it s e e m s unlikely that t h e s e " g o o d and wise m e n " would find it as easy to agree on a platform as Franklin supp o s e d . N o n e t h e l e s s , F r a n k l i n m a y b e right t h a t l e a d e r s h i p o n v i r t u e c a n never c o m e f r o m the m a j o r political a c t o r s ; it will h a v e to c o m e f r o m a m o v e m e n t o f p e o p l e , s u c h a s t h e p e o p l e o f a town w h o c o m e together a n d a g r e e t o crfeate m o r a l c o h e r e n c e a c r o s s t h e m a n y a r e a s o f children's lives. S u c h m o v e m e n t s a r e h a p p e n i n g now. T h e d e v e l o p m e n t a l p s y c h o l o g i s t W i l l i a m D a m o n 3 8 calls t h e m "youth c h a r t e r " m o v e m e n t s , for they involve t h e c o o p e r a t i o n o f all p a r t i e s t o c h i l d r e a r i n g — p a r e n t s , t e a c h e r s , c o a c h e s , r e l i g i o u s leaders, a n d the" c h i l d r e n t h e m s e l v e s — w h o c o m e t o c o n s e n s u s o n a " c h a r ter" d e s c r i b i n g t h e c o m m u n i t y ' s s h a r e d u n d e r s t a n d i n g s , o b l i g a t i o n s , a n d valu e s a n d c o m m i t t i n g all p a r t i e s t o e x p e c t a n d u p h o l d the s a m e high s t a n d a r d s of behavior in all settings. M a y b e - y o u t h c h a r t e r c o m m u n i t i e s can't rival t h e moral r i c h n e s s o f a n c i e n t A t h e n s , but they a r e d o i n g s o m e t h i n g t o r e d u c e their o w n a n o m i e while far e x c e e d i n g A t h e n s in j u s t i c e .

Divinity With or Without God We must smaller to parts will parts will

not allow the ignoble to injure the noble, or the injure the greater. Those who nourish the smaller become small men. Those who nourish the greater become great men. — M E N G

T Z U ,

1

3 R D

C E N T ,

B C E

God created the angels from intellect without sensuality, the beasts from sensuality without intellect, and humanity from both intellect and sensttality. So when a person's intellect overcomes his sensuality, he is better than the angels, but when his senstuzlity overcomes his intellect, he is worse than the beasts. —

M U H A M M A D

2

o

UR L I F E i s T H E C R E A T I O N of our m i n d s , a n d we d o m u c h of that c r e a t i n g with metaphor. We s e e new things in terms of things we already u n d e r s t a n d : Life is a journey, an argument is a war, the m i n d is a rider on an e l e p h a n t . With the wrong metaphor we are d e l u d e d ; with no m e t a p h o r we are blind.

T h e m e t a p h o r that has m o s t helped me to u n d e r s t a n d morality, religion, and the h u m a n q u e s t for m e a n i n g is Flatland, a c h a r m i n g little book written in 1884 by the English novelist and m a t h e m a t i c i a n E d w i n A b b o t . 3 F l a t l a n d 181

182

'i'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

is a two-dimensional world w h o s e i n h a b i t a n t s are g e o m e t r i c f i g u r e s . T h e protagonist is a square. O n e day, the s q u a r e is visited by a s p h e r e from a three-dimensional world called S p a c e l a n d . W h e n a s p h e r e visits Flatland, however, all that is visible to Flatlanders is the part of the s p h e r e that lies in their p l a i n — i n other words, a circle. T h e s q u a r e is a s t o n i s h e d that the circle is able to grow or shrink at will (by rising or sinking into the plane of Flatland) and even to d i s a p p e a r a n d r e a p p e a r in a different p l a c e (by leaving the plane, and then reentering it). T h e s p h e r e tries to explain the c o n c e p t of the third d i m e n s i o n to the two-dimensional s q u a r e , but the s q u a r e , though skilled at two-dimensional geometry, doesn't get it. He c a n n o t u n d e r s t a n d what it m e a n s to have thickness in addition to height a n d b r e a d t h , nor can he understand that the circle c a m e from up a b o v e him, w h e r e " u p " d o e s not m e a n f r o m the north. T h e s p h e r e p r e s e n t s a n a l o g i e s a n d g e o m e t r i c a l demonstrations of how to m o v e f r o m o n e d i m e n s i o n to two, a n d t h e n from two to three, but the s q u a r e still finds the idea of moving " u p " out of the plane of Flatland ridiculous. In desperation, the s p h e r e y a n k s the s q u a r e up out of F l a t l a n d a n d into the third d i m e n s i o n so that the s q u a r e c a n look down on his world a n d s e e it all at once. He c a n s e e the inside of all the h o u s e s a n d the g u t s (insides) of all the inhabitants. T h e s q u a r e recalls t h e e x p e r i e n c e : An unspeakable horror seized m e . T h e r e w a s darkness; then a dizzy, sickening sensation of sight that was not like seeing; I saw s p a c e that was not space: I was myself, and not myself. W h e n I could find voice, I shrieked aloud in agony, " E i t h e r this is m a d n e s s or it is H e l l . " "It is neither," calmly replied the voice of the sphere, "it is Knowledge; it is T h r e e Dimensions: open your eye once again and try to look steadily." I looked, and, behold, a new world! T h e s q u a r e i s a w e s t r u c k . H e p r o s t r a t e s h i m s e l f b e f o r e the s p h e r e and b e c o m e s the sphere's disciple. U p o n his return to F l a t l a n d , he struggles to p r e a c h the " G o s p e l of T h r e e D i m e n s i o n s " to his fellow t w o - d i m e n s i o n a l c r e a t u r e s — b u t in vain. We are all, in s o m e way, the s q u a r e b e f o r e his enlightenment. We have all encountered s o m e t h i n g we failed to u n d e r s t a n d , yet smugly believed we un-

Divinity With or Without God J 85 d e r s t o o d b e c a u s e w e couldn't c o n c e i v e o f t h e d i m e n s i o n t o w h i c h w e w e r e blind. T h e n o n e d a y s o m e t h i n g h a p p e n s that m a k e s n o s e n s e i n o u r twod i m e n s i o n a l world, a n d w e c a t c h our first g l i m p s e o f a n o t h e r d i m e n s i o n . In all h u m a n c u l t u r e s , the social world has two clear d i m e n s i o n s : a horizontal d i m e n s i o n of c l o s e n e s s or liking, a n d a vertical o n e of hierarchy or status. People naturally a n d effortiessly m a k e distinctions a l o n g the horizontal d i m e n s i o n b e t w e e n c l o s e v e r s u s d i s t a n t kin, a n d b e t w e e n f r i e n d s v e r s u s strangers. M a n y l a n g u a g e s have o n e f o r m o f a d d r e s s for t h o s e w h o a r e c l o s e (tu, in F r e n c h ) a n d a n o t h e r for t h o s e w h o are distant (vous). We a l s o h a v e a great deal of i n n a t e m e n t a l structure that p r e p a r e s us for hierarchical interactions. E v e n i n h u n t e r - g a t h e r e r c u l t u r e s that are i n m a n y w a y s e g a l i t a r i a n , equality is only m a i n t a i n e d by active s u p p r e s s i o n of ever-present t e n d e n c i e s toward hierarchy. 4 M a n y l a n g u a g e s u s e the s a m e verbal m e t h o d s t o m a r k hierarchy as they do to m a r k c l o s e n e s s (in F r e n c h , tu for s u b o r d i n a t e s as well as friends, vous for s u p e r i o r s as well as strangers). E v e n in l a n g u a g e s s u c h as E n glish that do not have different verb f o r m s for different s o c i a l r e l a t i o n s h i p s , p e o p l e find a w a y to m a r k t h e m anyway: We a d d r e s s p e o p l e w h o are d i s t a n t or superior by u s i n g their titles a n d last n a m e s (Mr. S m i t h , J u d g e B r o w n ) , a n d u s e first n a m e s for t h o s e w h o are i n t i m a t e o r s u b o r d i n a t e . 5 O u r m i n d s a u t o matically k e e p track of t h e s e two d i m e n s i o n s . T h i n k how a w k w a r d it w a s the last time s o m e o n e you barely k n e w but greatly revered invited you to call h i m by first n a m e . D i d the n a m e stick in your throat? Conversely, w h e n a s a l e s person a d d r e s s e s you by first n a m e without having b e e n invited to do s o , do you feel slighdy o f f e n d e d ? N o w imagine yourself happily moving around your two-dimensional social world, a flat l a n d w h e r e t h e X axis is c l o s e n e s s a n d t h e Y axis is hierarchy ( s e e figure 9 . 1 ) . T h e n o n e day, y o u s e e a p e r s o n d o s o m e t h i n g extraordinary, o r you h a v e a n o v e r w h e l m i n g e x p e r i e n c e o f natural beauty, a n d y o u leel lifted " u p . " B u t it's not the " u p " of hierarchy, it's s o m e o t h e r kind of e l e vation. T h i s c h a p t e r i s a b o u t that vertical m o v e m e n t . M y c l a i m i s t h a t t h e h u m a n m i n d p e r c e i v e s a third d i m e n s i o n , a s p e c i f i c a l l y m o r a l d i m e n s i o n lhat I Vvill call "divinity." ( S e e the Z axis, c o m i n g up o u t of t h e p l a n e of t h e page in figure 9 . 1 ) . In c h o o s i n g the label "divinity," I am n o t a s s u m i n g t h a t G o d exists and is there to be perceived. (I myself am a J e w i s h atheist.) Rather, m y r e s e a r c h o n the moral e m o t i o n s h a s led m e t o c o n c l u d e t h a t t h e

184

Fig. 9.1

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

T h e Three Dimensions of Social S p a c e

h u m a n mind simply does perceive divinity a n d s a c r e d n e s s , w h e t h e r or not G o d exists. In r e a c h i n g this c o n c l u s i o n , I lost t h e s m u g c o n t e m p t for religion that I felt in my twenties. T h i s c h a p t e r is a b o u t the a n c i e n t truth that devoutly religious p e o p l e grasp, a n d that s e c u l a r thinkers o f t e n do not: that by our a c t i o n s a n d our thoughts, we m o v e up a n d d o w n on a vertical d i m e n s i o n . In the o p e n i n g epigraph of this chapter, M e n g T z u c a l l e d it a d i m e n s i o n of n o b l e versus ignoble. M u h a m m a d , like C h r i s t i a n s a n d J e w s b e f o r e h i m , m a d e it a dim e n s i o n of divinity, with angels a b o v e a n d b e a s t s below. An i m p l i c a t i o n of this truth is that we are impoverished as h u m a n beings w h e n we l o s e sight of this d i m e n s i o n a n d let our world c o l l a p s e into two d i m e n s i o n s . B u t at the other extreme, the effort to c r e a t e a t h r e e - d i m e n s i o n a l s o c i e t y a n d imp o s e it on all residents is the hallmark of religious f u n d a m e n t a l i s m . F u n d a mentalists, whether C h r i s t i a n , J e w i s h , H i n d u , or M u s l i m , w a n t to live in nations w h o s e laws are in h a r m o n y w i t h — o r a r e taken f r o m — a particular holy book. T h e r e a r e m a n y r e a s o n s for d e m o c r a t i c W e s t e r n s o c i e t i e s to opp o s e s u c h f u n d a m e n t a l i s m , but I believe that the first s t e p in s u c h opposition m u s t be an h o n e s t a n d r e s p e c t f u l u n d e r s t a n d i n g of its moral motives. I h o p e that this c h a p t e r contributes to s u c h u n d e r s t a n d i n g .

Divinity With or Without God A R E

W E

N O T

J 85

A N I M A L S ?

I first f o u n d divinity in d i s g u s t . W h e n I b e g a n to s t u d y morality, I r e a d t h e moral c o d e s of m a n y c u l t u r e s , a n d the first thing I l e a r n e d is that m o s t c u l tures are very c o n c e r n e d a b o u t f o o d , sex, m e n s t r u a t i o n , a n d the h a n d l i n g o f c o r p s e s . B e c a u s e I h a d always t h o u g h t morality w a s a b o u t h o w p e o p l e treat e a c h other, I d i s m i s s e d all this s t u f f a b o u t "purity" a n d " p o l l u t i o n " ( a s t h e a n thropologists call it) as e x t r a n e o u s to real morality. W h y a r e w o m e n in m a n y c u l t u r e s f o r b i d d e n to e n t e r t e m p l e s or t o u c h religious a r t i f a c t s while they a r e m e n s t r u a t i n g , or for a f e w w e e k s after giving b i r t h ? 6 It m u s t be s o m e sort of sexist effort t o control w o m e n . W h y i s e a t i n g pork a n a b o m i n a t i o n for J e w s a n d M u s l i m s ? M u s t be a health-related effort to avoid trichinosis. B u t as I read further, I b e g a n to d i s c e r n an underlying logic: t h e logic of d i s g u s t . A c c o r d i n g to t h e l e a d i n g theory of d i s g u s t in t h e 1 9 8 0 s , by Paul R o z i n , 7 d i s g u s t is largely a b o u t a n i m a l s a n d t h e p r o d u c t s of a n i m a l b o d i e s ( f e w p l a n t s or inorganic materials are disgusting), and disgusting things are contagious by touch. D i s g u s t t h e r e f o r e s e e m e d s o m e h o w related t o t h e c o n c e r n s a b o u t a n i m a l s , b o d y p r o d u c t s ( b l o o d , e x c r e m e n t ) , w a s h i n g , a n d t o u c h that a r e s o clear i n t h e O l d T e s t a m e n t , t h e Koran, H i n d u s c r i p t u r e s , a n d m a n y e t h n o graphies of traditional s o c i e t i e s . WTien I w e n t to talk to Rozin a b o u t t h e p o s s i b l e role o f d i s g u s t i n m o r a l i t y a n d r e l i g i o n , I f o u n d t h a t h e h a d b e e n thinking a b o u t the s a m e q u e s t i o n . With P r o f e s s o r C l a r k M c C a u l e y o f B r y n M a w r C o l l e g e , we b e g a n to s t u d y d i s g u s t a n d the role it plays in social life. D i s g u s t h a s its e v o l u t i o n a r y o r i g i n s i n h e l p i n g p e o p l e d e c i d e w h a t t o c a t . 8 D u r i n g t h e - e v o l u t i o n a r y transition i n w h i c h o u r a n c e s t o r s ' b r a i n s exp a n d e d greatly, s o d i d their p r o d u c t i o n o f tools a n d w e a p o n s , a n d s o d i d (heir c o n s u m p t i o n o f m e a t . 9 ( M a n y s c i e n t i s t s t h i n k t h e s e c h a n g e s w e r e all i n t e r r e l a t e d , a l o n g with the g r e a t e r i n t e r d e p e n d e n c e o f m a l e a n d f e m a l e that I d i s c u s s e d i n c h a p t e r 6 ) . B u t w h e n early h u m a n s w e n t for m e a t , including s c a v e n g i n g the c a r c a s s e s left by other p r e d a t o r s , they e x p o s e d t h e m s e l v e s t o a galaxy o f n e w m i c r o b e s a n d p a r a s i t e s , m o s t o f w h i c h a r e c o n t a g i o u s in a way that p l a n t toxins a r e not: If a p o i s o n o u s berry b r u s h e s u p a g a i n s t y o u r b a k e d p o t a t o , i t won't m a k e t h e p o t a t o h a r m f u l o r d i s g u s t ing. D i s g u s t w a s originally s h a p e d b y n a t u r a l s e l e c t i o n a s a g u a r d i a n o f t h e

186

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

m o u t h : It gave an a d v a n t a g e to individuals w h o w e n t heyond the s e n s o r y p r o p e r t i e s of a potentially e d i b l e o b j e c t ( d o e s it s m e l l g o o d ? ) a n d t h o u g h t a b o u t w h e r e it c a m e from a n d what it h a d t o u c h e d . A n i m a l s that routinely eat or crawl on c o r p s e s , e x c r e m e n t , or g a r b a g e p i l e s (rats, m a g g o t s , vultures, c o c k r o a c h e s ) trigger disgust in us: We won't eat t h e m , a n d a n y t h i n g they have t o u c h e d b e c o m e s c o n t a m i n a t e d . We're a l s o d i s g u s t e d by m o s t of the b o d y p r o d u c t s o f other p e o p l e , p a r t i c u l a r l y e x c r e m e n t , m u c u s , a n d blood, w h i c h m a y transmit d i s e a s e s a m o n g p e o p l e . D i s g u s t e x t i n g u i s h e s desire ( h u n g e r ) a n d motivates purifying behaviors s u c h as w a s h i n g or, if it's too late, vomiting. But d i s g u s t doesn't guard j u s t the m o u t h ; its elicitors e x p a n d e d d u r i n g biological a n d cultural evolution so that now it g u a r d s the body m o r e generally. 1 0 D i s g u s t plays a role in sexuality a n a l o g o u s to its role in f o o d s e l e c tion by guiding p e o p l e to the narrow c l a s s of culturally a c c e p t a b l e s e x u a l partners a n d sexual a c t s . O n c e again, d i s g u s t turns off d e s i r e a n d m o t i v a t e s c o n c e r n s a b o u t purification, separation, a n d c l e a n s i n g . D i s g u s t a l s o gives us a q u e a s y f e e l i n g w h e n we s e e p e o p l e with skin lesions, d e f o r m i t i e s , a m putations, e x t r e m e obesity or thinness, a n d other violations of the culturally ideal outer e n v e l o p e of the h u m a n body. It is the exterior that m a t t e r s : C a n c e r in the lungs or a m i s s i n g kidney is not d i s g u s t i n g ; a t u m o r on the f a c e or a m i s s i n g finger is. T h i s e x p a n s i o n , from g u a r d i a n of the m o u t h to g u a r d i a n of the body, m a k e s s e n s e f r o m a purely biological p e r s p e c t i v e : We h u m a n s have always lived in larger, d e n s e r groups than most other p r i m a t e s , a n d we lived on the ground, too, not in trees, so we were m o r e e x p o s e d to the ravages of mic r o b e s a n d p a r a s i t e s that s p r e a d b y p h y s i c a l c o n t a c t . D i s g u s t m a k e s u s careful a b o u t contact. But the m o s t f a s c i n a t i n g thing a b o u t d i s g u s t is that it is recruited to support so many of the norms, rituals, and b e l i e f s that cultures u s e to d e f i n e t h e m s e l v e s . 1 1 For e x a m p l e , m a n y c u l t u r e s draw a s h a r p line b e t w e e n h u m a n s a n d a n i m a l s , i n s i s t i n g that p e o p l e a r e s o m e h o w above, better than, or m o r e god-like than other a n i m a l s . T h e h u m a n body is o f t e n thought of as a t e m p l e that h o u s e s divinity within: " O r do you not know that your body is a t e m p l e of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from G o d , a n d that you are not your o w n ? . . . [ T ] h e r e f o r e glorify G o d in your body" ( I C O R I N T H I A N S 6:19-20).

Divinity With or Without God J 85 Yet a c u l t u r e that says that h u m a n s are not a n i m a l s , or that the b o d y is a t e m p l e , f a c e s a big p r o b l e m : O u r b o d i e s do all the s a m e things that a n i m a l b o d i e s d o , i n c l u d i n g eating, d e f e c a t i n g , c o p u l a t i n g , b l e e d i n g , a n d d y i n g . T h e o v e r w h e l m i n g e v i d e n c e is that we are a n i m a l s , a n d so a c u l t u r e that rej e c t s our animality m u s t go to great lengths to hide the e v i d e n c e . B i o l o g i c a l p r o c e s s e s m u s t be carried out in the right way, a n d disgust is a g u a r d i a n of that rightness. I m a g i n e visiting a town w h e r e p e o p l e wear no c l o t h e s , n e v e r b a t h e , have sex " d o g g i e - s t y l e " i n p u b l i c , a n d e a t raw m e a t b y b i t i n g o f f p i e c e s directly f r o m the c a r c a s s . Okay, p e r h a p s you'd pay to s e e s u c h a f r e a k show, but as with all f r e a k s h o w s , y o u w o u l d e m e r g e d e g r a d e d (literally: brought doum). You would feel disgust at this " s a v a g e " behavior a n d know, viscerally, that there w a s s o m e t h i n g wrong with t h e s e p e o p l e . D i s g u s t is t h e g u a r d i a n of the t e m p l e of the body. In this imaginary town, the g u a r d i a n s have b e e n m u r d e r e d , a n d t h e ' t e m p l e s have g o n e to the d o g s . T h e idea that t h e third d i m e n s i o n — d i v i n i t y — r u n s f r o m a n i m a l s b e l o w to g o d ( s ) a b o v e , with p e o p l e in the m i d d l e , w a s p e r f e c t l y c a p t u r e d by t h e seventeenth-century N e w England Puritan Cotton Mather, who observed a d o g urinating at t h e s a m e t i m e he h i m s e l f w a s urinating. O v e r w h e l m e d with d i s g u s t at t h e vileness of his own urination, M a t h e r w r o t e t h i s r e s o l u tion in his diary: "Yet I will be a m o r e n o b l e c r e a t u r e ; a n d at the very t i m e w h e n m y natural n e c e s s i t i e s d e b a s e m e into the condition o f the b e a s t , m y spirit shall (I say at that very time!) rise a n d soar." 1 2 If the h u m a n body is a t e m p l e that s o m e t i m e s gets dirty, it m a k e s s e n s e that "cleanliness is next to G o d l i n e s s . " 1 3 If y o u don't p e r c e i v e this third dim e n s i o n , then it is not clear why G o d w o u l d c a r e a b o u t t h e a m o u n t of dirt on your skin or in your h o m e . B u t if y o u do live in a t h r e e - d i m e n s i o n a l world, then d i s g u s t is like J a c o b ' s ladder: It is rooted in the earth, in o u r biological n e c e s s i t i e s , but it l e a d s or g u i d e s p e o p l e t o w a r d h e a v e n or, at least, toward s o m e t h i n g felt to b e , s o m e h o w , " u p . "

T H E

ETHIC

OF

DIVINITY

After g r a d u a t e school, I s p e n t two years working with R i c h a r d S h w e d e r , a psychological anthropologist at the University of C h i c a g o w h o is t h e l e a d i n g

188

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

thinker in the field of cultural psychology. S h w e d e r d o e s m u c h of his research in the Indian city of B h u b a n e s w a r , in the state of O r i s s a , on t h e Bay of Bengal. B h u b a n e s w a r is an ancient t e m p l e t o w n — i t s old city grew up around the gigantic a n d ornate Lingaraj t e m p l e , built in the s e v e n t h c e n t u r y a n d still a major pilgrimage center for H i n d u s . S h w e d e r ' s research on morality 1 4 in B h u b a n e s w a r a n d e l s e w h e r e s h o w s that w h e n p e o p l e think a b o u t morality, their moral c o n c e p t s cluster into three g r o u p s , which he calls the ethic of autonomy, the ethic of community, a n d the ethic of divinity. W h e n p e o p l e think and act using the ethic of autonomy, their goal is to protect individuals from h a r m a n d grant t h e m the m a x i m u m d e g r e e o f a u t o n o m y , which they c a n u s e to p u r s u e their own goals. W h e n p e o p l e u s e the ethic of community, their goal is to protect the integrity of g r o u p s , families, c o m p a nies, or nations, and they value virtues s u c h as o b e d i e n c e , loyalty, a n d w i s e leadership. W h e n p e o p l e u s e the ethic of divinity, their goal is to protect from degradation the divinity that exists in e a c h p e r s o n , a n d they-value living in a p u r e a n d holy way, free from moral pollutants s u c h as lust, greed, a n d hatred. C u l t u r e s vary in their relative reliance on t h e s e three e t h i c s , which correspond, roughly, to the X, Y, a n d Z axes of figure 9 . 1 . In my dissertation r e s e a r c h 1 5 on moral j u d g m e n t in Brazil and the U n i t e d S t a t e s , I f o u n d that e d u c a t e d A m e r i c a n s of high social c l a s s relied overwhelmingly on the ethic of a u t o n o m y in their moral d i s c o u r s e , w h e r e a s Brazilians, and p e o p l e of lower social class in both countries, m a d e m u c h greater u s e of the ethics of c o m m u n i t y a n d divinity. To learn more about the ethic of divinity, I went to B h u b a n e s w a r for three months in 1 9 9 3 , to interview priests, m o n k s , a n d other experts on H i n d u worship and practice. To prepare, I read everything I c o u l d a b o u t H i n d u i s m a n d the anthropology of purity a n d pollution, including I~he Laws of Manu,16 a g u i d e b o o k for Brahmin m e n (the priestly c a s t e ) written in the first or second century. M a n u tells Brahmins how to live, eat, pray, a n d interact with other people while still attending to what C o t t o n M a t h e r c a l l e d their "natural necessities." In one p a s s a g e , M a n u lists the times w h e n a priest should "not even think a b o u t " reciting the holy v e d a s {scriptures): while expelling urine or excrement, when food is still left on his mouth and hands, while eating at a ceremony for the dead, . . . when one has

Divinity With or Without God J 85 eaten flesh or the food of a w o m a n who h a s j u s t given birth, . . . w h e n j a c k a l s howl, . . . in a c r e m a t i o n g r o u n d , . . . while w e a r i n g a g a r m e n t that he h a s worn in sexual union, while a c c e p t i n g anything at a c e r e m o n y for the d e a d , w h e n o n e h a s j u s t e a t e n o r h a s not d i g e s t e d ( h i s food) or has v o m i t e d or b e l c h e d , . . . w h e n blood flows f r o m one's l i m b s or when o n e h a s b e e n woufnded by a w e a p o n . T h i s p a s s a g e i s e x t r a o r d i n a r y b e c a u s e i t lists every c a t e g o r y o f d i s g u s t that R o z i n , M c C a u l e y , a n d I h a d s t u d i e d : f o o d , b o d y p r o d u c t s , a n i m a l s , sex, death, body envelope violations, and hygiene. M a n u is saying that t h e p r e s e n c e in mind of t h e holy v e d a s is not c o m p a t i b l e with c o n t a m i n a t i o n o f t h e body f r o m a n y s o u r c e o f d i s g u s t . 1 7 Divinity a n d d i s g u s t m u s t b e k e p t s e p a r a t e a t all t i m e s . W h e n I arrived in B h u b a n e s w a r , I q u i c k l y f o u n d that t h e e t h i c of d i v i n ity i s n o t j u s t a n c i e n t history. E v e n t h o u g h B h u b a n e s w a r i s p h y s i c a l l y f l a t , it h a s a highly v a r i a b l e spiritual t o p o g r a p h y with p e a k s at e a c h of its h u n d r e d s o f t e m p l e s . A s a n o n - H i n d u , I w a s a l l o w e d into t h e c o u r t y a r d s o f temple c o m p o u n d s ; and if I removed my shoes and any leather items (leather is polluting), I could usually enter the a n t e c h a m b e r of t h e t e m p l e b u i l d i n g . I c o u l d l o o k into t h e i n n e r s a n c t u m w h e r e the g o d w a s h o u s e d , but h a d I c r o s s e d the t h r e s h o l d to j o i n t h e B r a h m i n p r i e s t w i t h i n , I w o u l d have p o l l u t e d i t a n d o f f e n d e d e v e r y o n e . A t t h e h i g h e s t p e a k o f d i v i n i t y — the L i n g a r a j t e m p l e i t s e l f — I w a s not e v e n a l l o w e d t o e n t e r t h e c o m p o u n d , a l t h o u g h f o r e i g n e r s w e r e invited t o l o o k i n f r o m a n o b s e r v a t i o n p l a t f o r m j u s t o u t s i d e t h e w a l l s . It w a s not a m a t t e r of s e c r e c y ; it w a s a m a t t e r of c o n t a m i n a t i o n b y p e o p l e s u c h a s m e w h o h a d not f o l l o w e d t h e p r o p e r p r o c e d u r e s o f b a t h i n g , d i e t , h y g i e n e , a n d p r a y e r for m a i n t a i n i n g r e l i g i o u s purity. H i n d u h o m e s in B h u b a n e s w a r have the s a m e concentric structure as the t e m p l e s : L e a v e y o u r s h o e s a t t h e door, s o c i a l i z e i n t h e o u t e r r o o m s , b u t never g o into t h e k i t c h e n o r t h e r o o m o r a r e a w h e r e o f f e r i n g s a r e m a d e t o deities. T h e s e t w o a r e a s a r e m a i n t a i n e d a s z o n e s o f t h e h i g h e s t purity. E v e n the h u m a n b o d y h a s p e a k s a n d valleys, t h e h e a d a n d the right h a n d b e i n g p u r e , the left h a n d a n d t h e f e e t b e i n g p o l l u t e d . I h a d to t a k e e x t r a o r d i n a r y c a r e t o k e e p m y f e e t f r o m t o u c h i n g a n y o n e a n d t o avoid h a n d i n g s o m e t h i n g to a n o t h e r p e r s o n with my left h a n d . As I m o v e d a r o u n d B h u b a n e s w a r , I felt

190

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

like a s q u a r e in S p a c e l a n d as I tried to navigate a t h r e e - d i m e n s i o n a l world with only the d i m m e s t perception of its third d i m e n s i o n . T h e interviews I c o n d u c t e d helped me to s e e a little better. My goal was to find out whether purity a n d pollution were really j u s t a b o u t k e e p i n g biological " n e c e s s i t i e s " s e p a r a t e from divinity, or w h e t h e r t h e s e p r a c t i c e s had a d e e p e r relationship to virtue a n d morality. I f o u n d a variety of opinions. S o m e of the l e s s - e d u c a t e d village priests s a w the rituals related to purity a n d pollution as basic rules of the g a m e , things you s i m p l y m u s t do b e c a u s e religious tradition d e m a n d s it. But m a n y of the p e o p l e I interviewed took a broader view a n d s a w purity a n d pollution p r a c t i c e s as m e a n s to an e n d : spiritual and moral a d v a n c e m e n t , or moving up on the third d i m e n s i o n . For example, w h e n I a s k e d why it was important to guard one's purity, the headm a s t e r of a S a n s k r i t s c h o o l (a s c h o o l that t r a i n s r e l i g i o u s s c h o l a r s ) res p o n d e d in this way: We ourselves can be gods or d e m o n s . It d e p e n d s on karma. If a person behaves like a demon, for example he kills s o m e o n e , then that person is truly a demon. A person who behaves in a divine manner, b e c a u s e a person has divinity in him, he is like a god. . . . We should know that we are gods. If we think like gods we b e c o m e like gods, if we think like d e m o n s we b e c o m e like demons. What is wrong with being like a d e m o n ? W h a t is going on nowadays, it is demonic. Divine behavior m e a n s not cheating people, not killing people. C o m p l e t e character. You have divinity, you are a god. T h e h e a d m a s t e r , who of c o u r s e had not read S h w e d e r , g a v e a p e r f e c t s t a t e m e n t of the ethic of divinity. Purity is not j u s t a b o u t the body, it is a b o u t the soul. If you know that you have divinity in you, you will act a c cordingly: You will treat p e o p l e well, a n d you will treat your body as a temple. In so doing, you will a c c u m u l a t e good k a r m a , a n d you will c o m e b a c k in your next life at a higher level—-literally higher on the vertical d i m e n s i o n of divinity. If you lose sight of your divinity, you will give in to your b a s e r motives. In so doing, you will a c c u m u l a t e b a d k a r m a , a n d in y o u r next incarnation you will return at a lower level as an a n i m a l or a d e m o n . T h i s

Divinity With or Without God J 85 l i n k a g e o f virtue, purity, a n d divinity i s n o t u n i q u e l y I n d i a n ; R a l p h W a l d o E m e r s o n s a i d e x a c t l y the s a m e thing: He who d o e s a g o o d d e e d is instantly e n n o b l e d . He w h o d o e s a m e a n d e e d is by the action itself contracted. He w h o p u t s off impurity t h e r e b y p u t s on purity. If a m a n is at heart j u s t , then in so far is he G o d . 1 8

S A C R E D

I N T R U S I O N S

W h e n I returned to Flatland (the U n i t e d S t a t e s ) , I didn't have to t h i n k a b o u t purity a n d p o l l u t i o n a n y m o r e . I didn't h a v e t o think a b o u t t h e s e c o n d d i m e n s i o n — h i e r a r c h y — v e r y m u c h , either. A m e r i c a n university c u l t u r e h a s only m i l d h i e r a r c h y ( s t u d e n t s o f t e n a d d r e s s p r o f e s s o r s b y first n a m e ) c o m p a r e d with m o s t I n d i a n s e t t i n g s . S o i n s o m e w a y s m y life w a s r e d u c e d to one dimension

closeness, and my behavior was constrained only by

the ethic of autonomy, which allowed me to do whatever I w a n t e d , as l o n g as I didn't hurt a n y o n e e l s e . Yet, o n c e I h a d l e a r n e d to s e e in three d i m e n s i o n s , I s a w g l i m m e r s of divinity s c a t t e r e d all a b o u t . 1 b e g a n to feel d i s g u s t for t h e A m e r i c a n p r a c t i c e o f m a r c h i n g a r o u n d one's o w n h o u s e — e v e n one's b e d r o o m — w e a r i n g t h e s a m e s h o e s that, m i n u t e s earlier, had w a l k e d t h r o u g h city s t r e e t s . I a d o p t e d the I n d i a n p r a c t i c e o f r e m o v i n g m y s h o e s a t m y door, a n d a s k i n g visitors t o do likewise, w h i c h m a d e my a p a r t m e n t f e e l m o r e like a s a n c t u a r y , a c l e a n a n d p e a c e f u l s p a c e s e p a r a t e d m o r e fully t h a n b e f o r e f r o m t h e o u t s i d e w o r l d . I n o t i c e d that it felt w r o n g to bring c e r t a i n b o o k s into t h e b a t h r o o m . I not i c e d that p e o p l e o f t e n s p o k e a b o u t morality u s i n g a l a n g u a g e o f " h i g h e r " a n d "lower." I b e c a m e a w a r e o f m y o w n s u b t l e f e e l i n g s u p o n w i t n e s s i n g p e o p l e b e h a v i n g i n sleazy o r " d e g r a d e d " w a y s , f e e l i n g s that w e r e m o r e t h a n just d i s a p p r o v a l ; they w e r e f e e l i n g s o f h a v i n g b e e n b r o u g h t " d o w n " i n s o m e way m y s e l f . I n m y a c a d e m i c work, I d i s c o v e r e d that the e t h i c o f divinity h a d b e e n c e n t r a l t o p u b l i c d i s c o u r s e i n the U n i t e d S t a t e s until t h e t i m e o f t h e World War I, after which it began to fade (except in a few p l a c e s , s u c h as the

192

'i'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

American S o u t h — w h i c h also m a i n t a i n e d racial segregation practices b a s e d on notions of physical purity). For e x a m p l e , a d v i c e a i m e d at y o u n g p e o p l e in the Victorian era routinely s p o k e of purity a n d p o l l u t i o n . In a widely r e p r i n t e d b o o k f r o m 1 8 9 7 t i t l e d What a Young Man Ought to Know,19 S y l v a n u s Stall d e v o t e d an e n t i r e c h a p t e r to " p e r s o n a l purity" in which he n o t e d that G o d has m a d e no mistake in giving m a n a strong sexual nature, but any young man makes a fatal mistake if he allows the sexual to dominate, to degrade, and to destroy that which is highest and noblest in his nature. To guard their purity, Stall advised y o u n g m e n to avoid e a t i n g pork, m a s turbating, a n d reading novels. By the 1 9 3 6 edition, this entire c h a p t e r had b e e n removed. T h e vertical d i m e n s i o n of divinity w a s so o b v i o u s to p e o p l e in the Victorian a g e that even s c i e n t i s t s referred to it. In a c h e m i s t r y t e x t b o o k from 1 8 6 7 , after d e s c r i b i n g m e t h o d s of s y n t h e s i z i n g ethyl a l c o h o l , t h e a u t h o r felt c o m p e l l e d to warn his y o u n g r e a d e r s that a l c o h o l h a s t h e e f f e c t of "dulling the intellectual o p e r a t i o n s a n d moral instincts; s e e m i n g to pervert and destroy all that is p u r e a n d holy in m a n , while it robs him of his highest a t t r i b u t e — r e a s o n . " 2 0 In his 1 8 9 2 book p r o m o t i n g Darwin's theory of evolution, J o s e p h Le C o n t e , a p r o f e s s o r of geology at the University of C a l i f o r nia a t Berkeley, practically q u o t e d M e n g T z u a n d M u h a m m a d : " M a n i s p o s s e s s e d of two n a t u r e s — a lower, in c o m m o n with a n i m a l s , a n d a higher, peculiar to himself. T h e whole m e a n i n g of sin is the h u m i l i a t i n g b o n d a g e of the higher to the lower." 2 1 B u t as s c i e n c e , technology, a n d the i n d u s t r i a l a g e p r o g r e s s e d , the Weste m world b e c a m e " d e s a c r a l i z e d . " A t least that's the a r g u m e n t m a d e b y the great historian of religion M i r c e a E l i a d e . In The Sacred and the Profane,22 E l i a d e s h o w s that the p e r c e p t i o n of s a c r e d n e s s is a h u m a n universal. Reg a r d l e s s of their d i f f e r e n c e s , all religions h a v e p l a c e s ( t e m p l e s , s h r i n e s , holy trees), t i m e s (holy days, s u n r i s e , s o l s t i c e s ) , a n d activities (prayer, special dancing) that allow for c o n t a c t or c o m m u n i c a t i o n with s o m e t h i n g otherworldly and pure. To mark off s a c r e d n e s s , all other t i m e s , p l a c e s , a n d activities are d e f i n e d a s p r o f a n e (ordinary, not s a c r e d ) . T h e b o r d e r s be-

Divinity With or Without God

J 85

tween the sacred and the profane m u s t be carefully guarded, a n d that's w h a t r u l e s o f purity a n d p o l l u t i o n a r e all a b o u t . E l i a d e s a y s that t h e m o d e m W e s t i s t h e first c u l t u r e i n h u m a n history that h a s m a n a g e d t o s t r i p t i m e a n d s p a c e o f all s a c r e d n e s s a n d t o p r o d u c e a fully p r a c t i c a l , e f f i c i e n t , a n d p r o f a n e w o r l d . T h i s i s t h e w o r l d that r e l i g i o u s f u n d a m e n t a l i s t s f i n d u n b e a r a b l e a n d a r e s o m e t i m e s willing t o u s e f o r c e t o f i g h t a g a i n s t . E l i a d e ' s m o s t c o m p e l l i n g point, for m e , i s that s a c r e d n e s s i s s o i r r e p r e s s ible that i t i n t r u d e s r e p e a t e d l y into t h e m o d e r n p r o f a n e w o r l d i n t h e f o r m o f " c r y p t o - r e l i g i o u s " behavior. E l i a d e n o t e d t h a t e v e n a p e r s o n c o m m i t t e d to a p r o f a n e e x i s t e n c e h a s privileged p l a c e s , qualitatively different from all o t h e r s — a man's birthp l a c e , or the s c e n e s of his first love, or certain p l a c e s in t h e first f o r e i g n city he visited in his youth. Even for the m o s t frankly nonreligious m a n , all t h e s e p l a c e s still retain an exceptional, a u n i q u e quality; they a r e t h e "holy p l a c e s " of his private universe, as if it w e r e in s u c h s p o t s t h a t he had received the revelation of a reality other than that in which he participates through his ordinary daily life. W h e n I r e a d this, I g a s p e d . E l i a d e h a d p e r f e c t l y p e g g e d m y f e e b l e spirituality, l i m i t e d a s i t i s t o p l a c e s , b o o k s , p e o p l e , a n d e v e n t s that h a v e g i v e n m e m o m e n t s o f uplift a n d e n l i g h t e n m e n t . E v e n a t h e i s t s h a v e i n t i m a t i o n s o f s a c r e d n e s s , particularly w h e n i n love o r i n n a t u r e . W e j u s t d o n ' t i n f e r that G o d c a u s e d t h o s e f e e l i n g s .

E L E V A T I O N

A N D

A G A P E

M y t i m e i n I n d i a d i d not m a k e m e r e l i g i o u s , b u t i t d i d l e a d t o a n i n t e l l e c tual a w a k e n i n g . S h o r t l y a f t e r m o v i n g t o t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f V i r g i n i a i n 1 9 9 5 , I w a s writing y e t a n o t h e r article a b o u t h o w s o c i a l d i s g u s t i s t r i g g e r e d w h e n w e s e e p e o p l e m o v i n g " d o w n " o n t h e vertical d i m e n s i o n o f divinity. S u d d e n l y it o c c u r r e d to me that I h a d n e v e r really t h o u g h t a b o u t t h e e m o t i o n a l reaction to seeing people move "up." I had referred in p a s s i n g to t h e feeling o f b e i n g " u p l i f t e d , " b u t h a d n e v e r e v e n w o n d e r e d w h e t h e r " u p l i f t " i s a real,

194

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

honest-to-goodness emotion. I b e g a n to interrogate friends, family, and students: "When you s e e s o m e o n e do a really good d e e d , do you feel something? W h a t exactly? Where in your body do you feel it? D o e s it m a k e you want to do anything?" I found that most p e o p l e had the s a m e feelings I did, and the s a m e difficulty articulating exactly what they were. People talked about an open, warm, or glowing feeling. S o m e specifically mentioned the heart; others claimed they could not say where in their bodies they felt it, yet even as they were denying a specific location, their h a n d s s o m e t i m e s m a d e a circular motion in front of the chest, fingers pointing inward as if to indicate something moving in the heart. S o m e people m e n t i o n e d feelings of chills, or of choking up. M o s t said this feeling m a d e them want to perform good d e e d s or b e c o m e better in s o m e way. Whatever this feeling was, it was beginning to look like an emotion worthy of study. Yet there was no research of any kind on this emotion in the psychological literature, which was f o c u s e d at the time on the six " b a s i c " e m o t i o n s 2 3 known-to have distinctive facial expressions: joy, s a d n e s s , fear, anger, disgust, and surprise. If I believed in G o d , I would believe that he sent me to the University of Virginia for a reason. At U \ A , a great deal of crypto-religious activity centers around T h o m a s J e f f e r s o n , our founder, whose h o m e sits like a temple on a small mountaintop (Monticello) a f e w miles away. J e f f e r s o n wrote the holiest text of A m e r i c a n history—the D e c l a r a t i o n of I n d e p e n d e n c e . He also wrote thousands of letters, m a n y of which reveal his views on psychology, education, and religion. After arriving at UVA, having an Eliade-style crypto-religious experience at Monticello, a n d c o m m i t t i n g myself to the cult of Jefferson, I read a collection of his letters. T h e r e I found a full and perfect description of the emotion I had j u s t begun thinking about. In 1771, Jefferson's relative Robert Skipwith a s k e d him for advice on what books to buy for the personal library he hoped to build. J e f f e r s o n , who loved giving advice almost as m u c h as he loved books, happily obliged. Jefferson sent along a catalogue of serious works of history a n d philosophy, but he also r e c o m m e n d e d the p u r c h a s e of fiction. In his day (as in Sylvanus Stall's), plays and novels were not regarded as worthy of a dignified man's time, but J e f f e r s o n justified his unorthodox advice by pointing out that great writing can trigger beneficial e m o t i o n s :

Divinity With or Without God

J

85

W h e n any . . . act of charity or of gratitude, for instance, is p r e s e n t e d e i t h e r t o o u r sight o r i m a g i n a t i o n , w e a r e d e e p l y i m p r e s s e d w i t h its beauty a n d feel a strong desire in ourselves of doing charitable a n d grateful acts also. On the contrary, when we s e e or read of any a t r o c i o u s d e e d , we are d i s g u s t e d with its deformity, a n d c o n c e i v e an a b h o r r e n c e of vice. N o w every e m o t i o n of this kind is an e x e r c i s e of our v i r t u o u s d i s p o sitions, a n d d i s p o s i t i o n s o f the m i n d , like l i m b s o f the body, a c q u i r e strength by exercise. 2 4 J e f f e r s o n w e n t o n t o say that t h e p h y s i c a l f e e l i n g s a n d m o t i v a t i o n a l e f fects c a u s e d by great literature are as powerful as those c a u s e d by real e v e n t s . H e c o n s i d e r e d t h e e x a m p l e o f a c o n t e m p o r a r y F r e n c h play, a s k i n g w h e t h e r t h e fidelity a n d g e n e r o s i t y o f its h e r o d o e s n o t dilate [the reader's] breast a n d elevate his s e n t i m e n t s a s m u c h a s a n y similar incident which real history c a n f u r n i s h ? D o e s [the r e a d e r ] n o t iri fact feel himself a better m a n while reading t h e m , a n d privately c o v e n a n t to copy the fair e x a m p l e ? T h i s extraordinary s t a t e m e n t i s m o r e t h a n j u s t a p o e t i c d e s c r i p t i o n o f t h e j o y s of r e a d i n g . It is a l s o a p r e c i s e s c i e n t i f i c d e f i n i t i o n of an e m o t i o n . In e m o t i o n r e s e a r c h , w e generally s t u d y e m o t i o n s b y s p e c i f y i n g their c o m p o n e n t s , a n d J e f f e r s o n gives u s m o s t o f the m a j o r c o m p o n e n t s : a n e l i c i t i n g o r triggering c o n d i t i o n ( d i s p l a y s of charity, g r a t i t u d e , or o t h e r v i r t u e s ) ; p h y s i c a l c h a n g e s in t h e body ("dilation" in t h e chesit); a motivation (a d e s i r e of " d o i n g charitable and grateful acts also"); and a characteristic feeling beyond bodily sensations (elevated sentiments). J e f f e r s o n h a d described exactly t h e e m o tion I h a d j u s t " d i s c o v e r e d . " H e e v e n s a i d that i t w a s t h e o p p o s i t e o f d i s g u s t . A s a n a c t o f crypto-religious glorification, I c o n s i d e r e d c a l l i n g t h i s e m o t i o n " J e f f e r s o n ' s e m o t i o n , " b u t t h o u g h t b e t t e r o f it, a n d c h o s e t h e w o r d " e l e v a tion," w h i c h J e f f e r s o n h i m s e l f h a d u s e d t o c a p t u r e t h e s e n s e o f r i s i n g o n a vertical d i m e n s i o n , a w a y f r o m d i s g u s t . For the p a s t s e v e n y e a r s I h a v e b e e n s t u d y i n g e l e v a t i o n i n t h e l a b . M y s t u d e n t s a n d I h a v e u s e d a variety o f m e a n s t o i n d u c e e l e v a t i o n a n d h a v e

196

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

f o u n d that video clips from d o c u m e n t a r i e s a b o u t h e r o e s a n d altruists, a n d selections from the O p r a h W i n f r e y show, work well. In m o s t of our s t u d i e s , we show p e o p l e in o n e group an elevating video, while p e o p l e in the control condition s e e a video d e s i g n e d to a m u s e t h e m , s u c h as a Jerry S e i n f e l d m o n o l o g u e . We know (from Alice Isen's c o i n s and c o o k i e s s t u d i e s ) 2 5 that feeling happy brings a variety of positive e f f e c t s , so in our r e s e a r c h we always try to s h o w that elevation is not j u s t a f o r m of h a p p i n e s s . In our m o s t c o m p r e h e n s i v e study, 2 6 S a r a A l g o e a n d 1 s h o w e d v i d e o s to r e s e a r c h subj e c t s in the lab a n d had t h e m fill out a r e c o r d i n g s h e e t a b o u t w h a t they felt a n d what they w a n t e d to do. S a r a then g a v e t h e m a s t a c k of b l a n k recording s h e e t s and told t h e m to k e e p an eye o u t , for the next three w e e k s , for instances of s o m e o n e doing s o m e t h i n g g o o d for s o m e o n e e l s e (in the elevation condition) or for times w h e n they s a w s o m e o n e e l s e tell a j o k e (in the a m u s e m e n t / c o n t r o l condition). We also' a d d e d a third condition to study nonmoral admiration: People in this c o n d i t i o n w a t c h e d a v i d e o a b o u t the s u p e r h u m a n abilities of the basketball star M i c h a e l J o r d a n , a n d w e r e then a s k e d t o record times w h e n they w i t n e s s e d s o m e o n e d o i n g s o m e t h i n g unusually skillful. Both parts of Sara's study show that J e f f e r s o n got it exactly right. People really do respond emotionally to a c t s of moral beauty, and t h e s e emotional reactions involve warm or p l e a s a n t feelings in the c h e s t and c o n s c i o u s desires to help others or b e c o m e a better p e r s o n oneself. A n e w discovery in Sara's study is that moral elevation a p p e a r s to be different from admiration for nonmoral excellence. S u b j e c t s in the a d m i r a t i o n condition w e r e more likely to report feeling chills or tingles on their skin, a n d to report feeling energized or " p s y c h e d up." W i t n e s s i n g extraordinarily skillful actions gives p e o p l e the drive and energy to try to c o p y t h o s e a c t i o n s . 2 7 Elevation, in contrast, is a calmer feeling, not a s s o c i a t e d with signs of physiological arousal. This distinction might help explain a puzzle about elevation. Although people say, in all our studies, that they want to do g o o d d e e d s , in two studies where we gave them the opportunity to sign up for volunteer work or to help an experimenter pick up a stack of p a p e r s s h e had d r o p p e d , we did not find that elevation m a d e p e o p l e b e h a v e m u c h differently. What's g o i n g o n h e r e ? H o w c o u l d a n e m o t i o n that m a k e s p e o p l e r i s e o n the d i m e n s i o n of divinity not m a k e t h e m b e h a v e m o r e altruistically? It's

Divinity With or Without

God J 85

l o o s o o n t o k n o w for s u r e , b u t a r e c e n t f i n d i n g s u g g e s t s that love c o u l d b e the answer. T h r e e undergraduate honors students have worked with me on the physiology of e l e v a t i o n — C h r i s Oveis, Gary S h e r m a n , a n d J e n Silvers. We've all b e e n i n t r i g u e d b y t h e f r e q u e n c y with w h i c h p e o p l e w h o a r e f e e l ing e l e v a t i o n p o i n t t o t h e heart. W e b e l i e v e they're not j u s t s p e a k i n g m e t a phorically. C h r i s a n d G a r y h a v e f o u n d h i n t s that t h e v a g u s n e r v e m i g h t b e a c t i v a t e d d u r i n g e l e v a t i o n . T h e v a g u s n e r v e i s the m a i n n e r v e o f t h e p a r a sympathetic nervous system, which calms people down, and u n d o e s the a r o u s a l c a u s e d b y t h e s y m p a t h e t i c (fight-or-flight) s y s t e m . T h e v a g u s n e r v e is t h e m a i n n e r v e that c o n t r o l s heart r a t e , a n d it h a s a variety of o t h e r e f f e c t s o n t h e heart a n d l u n g s , s o i f p e o p l e f e e l s o m e t h i n g i n t h e c h e s t , t h e vagus nerve is the main s u s p e c t , and it has already been i m p l i c a t e d in r e s e a r c h o n f e e l i n g s o f g r a t i t u d e a n d " a p p r e c i a t i o n . " 2 8 B u t it's d i f f i c u l t t o m e a s u r e t h e activity o f t h e v a g u s n e r v e directly, a n d s o far C h r i s a n d G a r y h a v e f o u n d only hints, not c o n c l u s i v e p r o o f . N e r v e s have a c c o m p l i c e s , however; they s o m e t i m e s w o r k with horm o n e s t o p r o d u c e l o n g - l a s t i n g e f f e c t s , a n d the v a g u s n e r v e w o r k s w i t h t h e h o r m o n e oxytocin t o c r e a t e f e e l i n g s o f c a l m n e s s , love, a n d d e s i r e f o r c o n tact that e n c o u r a g e b o n d i n g a n d a t t a c h m e n t . 2 9 J e n Silvers w a s i n t e r e s t e d i n t h e p o s s i b l e role o f oxytocin i n e l e v a t i o n , b u t b e c a u s e w e d i d n o t h a v e the resources to draw blood from s u b j e c t s before and after w a t c h i n g an ele v a t i n g v i d e o ( w h i c h w e ' d h a v e to do to d e t e c t a c h a n g e in o x y t o c i n l e v e l s ) , I told J e n t o s c o u r t h e r e s e a r c h l i t e r a t u r e t o f i n d a n i n d i r e c t m e a s u r e s o m e t h i n g oxytocin d o e s t o p e o p l e that w e c o u l d m e a s u r e w i t h o u t a h y p o d e r m i c n e e d l e . J e n f o u n d o n e : l a c t a t i o n . O n e o f oxytocin's m a n y j o b s i n r e g u l a t i n g t h e a t t a c h m e n t o f m o t h e r s a n d c h i l d r e n i s t o trigger t h e r e l e a s e o f milk i n m o t h e r s w h o b r e a s t - f e e d . I n o n e o f the b o l d e s t u n d e r g r a d u a t e h o n o r s t h e s e s e v e r d o n e i n t h e U V A p s y c h o l o g y d e p a r t m e n t , J e n b r o u g h t forty-five l a c t a t i n g w o m e n into o u r l a b ( o n e a t a t i m e ) , with their b a b i e s , a n d a s k e d t h e m t o insert n u r s i n g p a d s into their b r a s . H a l f t h e w o m e n t h e n w a t c h e d a n e l e v a t i n g c l i p f r o m a n < ) p r a h W i n f r e y s h o w ( a b o u t a m u s i c i a n w h o , a f t e r e x p r e s s i n g his g r a t i t u d e l o t h e m u s i c t e a c h e r w h o h a d s a v e d h i m f r o m a life o f g a n g v i o l e n c e , f i n d s o u t that O p r a h h a s b r o u g h t in s o m e of his own s t u d e n t s to e x p r e s s t h e i r gratitude to him). T h e other mothers s a w a video clip featuring several

198

'i'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

c o m e d i a n s . T h e w o m e n w a t c h e d the v i d e o s in a private s c r e e n i n g room, and a video c a m e r a (not h i d d e n ) r e c o r d e d their behavior. W h e n the videos were over, the m o t h e r s were left a l o n e with their children for five m i n u t e s . At the e n d of the study, J e n w e i g h e d the n u r s i n g p a d s to m e a s u r e milk release, and later c o d e d the videos for w h e t h e r the m o t h e r s n u r s e d their babies or played warmly with t h e m . T h e e f f e c t w a s o n e of the biggest I have ever f o u n d in any study: N e a r l y half of the m o t h e r s in the e l e v a t i o n condition either leaked milk or n u r s e d their b a b i e s ; only a f e w of the m o t h e r s in the c o m e d y condition leaked or n u r s e d . F u r t h e r m o r e , the elevated mothers showed m o r e w a r m t h in the way they t o u c h e d a n d c u d d l e d their babies. All of this s u g g e s t s that oxytocin m i g h t be r e l e a s e d d u r i n g m o m e n t s of elevation. And if this is true, then p e r h a p s it w a s naive of me to e x p e c t that elevation would actually c a u s e p e o p l e to help strangers (even t h o u g h they o f t e n say they want to do so). Oxytocin c a u s e s bonding, not a c t i o n . Elevation may fill p e o p l e with feelings of love, t r u s t , 3 0 a n d o p e n n e s s , making t h e m m o r e receptive to n e w r e l a t i o n s h i p s ; yet, given their f e e l i n g s of relaxation and passivity, they might be less likely to e n g a g e in active a l t r u i s m toward strangers. T h e relationship of elevation to love a n d trust w a s beautifully e x p r e s s e d in a letter I o n c e received from a m a n in M a s s a c h u s e t t s , D a v i d W h i t f o r d , w h o had read a b o u t my work on e l e v a t i o n . W h i t f o r d ' s U n i t a r i a n c h u r c h had a s k e d e a c h of its m e m b e r s to write a spiritual a u t o b i o g r a p h y — a n acc o u n t of how e a c h had b e c o m e the spiritual p e r s o n he or s h e is now. In one section of his autobiography, W h i t f o r d puzzled over why he w a s so often moved to tears during c h u r c h s e r v i c e s . He noticed that he s h e d two kinds of tears in c h u r c h . T h e first he c a l l e d " t e a r s of c o m p a s s i o n , " s u c h as the time he cried during a s e r m o n on M o t h e r s ' D a y on the s u b j e c t of children w h o were a b a n d o n e d or n e g l e c t e d . T h e s e c a s e s felt to h i m like "being pricked in the s o u l , " after which "love p o u r s o u t " for those w h o are suffering. B u t he called the s e c o n d kind " t e a r s of c e l e b r a t i o n " ; he c o u l d j u s t as well have called t h e m tears of elevation: There's another kind of tear. This one's less about giving love and more about the joy of receiving love, or maybe just detecting love (whether it's di- • rected at me or at someone else). It's the kind of tear that flows in response

Divinity

With or

Without

God J 85

to expressions of courage, or c o m p a s s i o n , or k i n d n e s s by others. A f e w weeks after Mother's Day, we m e t here in the sanctuary after the s e r v i c e and considered whether to b e c o m e a Welcoming Congregation [a c o n g r e gation that welcomes gay people]. W h e n John stood in support of the reso- lution, and spoke of how, as far as he knew, he w a s the first gay m a n to c o m e out at First Parish, in the early 1970s, I cried for his courage. Later, when all hands went up a n d the resolution p a s s e d unanimously, I cried for the love expressed by our congregation in that act. T h a t was a tear of celebration, a tear of receptiveness to what is good in the world, a tear that s a y s it's okay, relax, let down your guard, there are g o o d people in t h e world, there is good in people, love is real, it's in our nature. T h a t kind of tear is also like being pricked, only now the love pours in. 3 1 G r o w i n g up J e w i s h in a devoutly Christian country, I w a s f r e q u e n t l y p u z z l e d b y r e f e r e n c e s t o C h r i s t ' s love a n d love t h r o u g h C h r i s t . N o w t h a t I u n d e r s t a n d e l e v a t i o n a n d the third d i m e n s i o n , I t h i n k I'm b e g i n n i n g t o g e t it. For m a n y p e o p l e , o n e o f t h e p l e a s u r e s o f g o i n g t o c h u r c h i s t h e e x p e r i e n c e of collective elevation. People s t e p out of their everyday p r o f a n e exist e n c e , w h i c h o f f e r s only o c c a s i o n a l o p p o r t u n i t i e s for m o v e m e n t o n t h e third d i m e n s i o n , a n d c o m e t o g e t h e r w i t h a c o m m u n i t y o f l i k e - h e a r t e d p e o p l e w h o a r e a l s o h o p i n g t o feel a "lift" f r o m s t o r i e s a b o u t C h r i s t , v i r t u o u s p e o p l e i n the B i b l e , s a i n t s , o r e x e m p l a r y m e m b e r s o f their o w n c o m munity. W h e n this h a p p e n s , p e o p l e f i n d t h e m s e l v e s o v e r f l o w i n g w i t h l o v e , but it is not e x a c t l y t h e love that g r o w s o u t of a t t a c h m e n t r e l a t i o n s h i p s . 3 2 That love h a s a s p e c i f i c o b j e c t , a n d i t t u r n s t o p a i n w h e n t h e o b j e c t i s g o n e . T h i s love h a s no s p e c i f i c o b j e c t ; it is agape. It f e e l s like a" love of all h u m a n k i n d , a n d b e c a u s e h u m a n s f i n d i t hard t o b e l i e v e t h a t s o m e t h i n g c o m e s from nothing, it s e e m s natural to attribute the love to Christ, or to the H o l y Spirit m o v i n g within one's o w n h e a r t . S u c h e x p e r i e n c e s g i v e d i rect a n d s u b j e c t i v e l y c o m p e l l i n g e v i d e n c e t h a t G o d r e s i d e s w i t h i n e a c h person. And o n c e a p e r s o n k n o w s this "truth," the e t h i c of divinity b e c o m e s s e l f - e v i d e n t . S o m e w a y s o f living a r e c o m p a t i b l e with divinity they bring out the higher, nobler self; others d o not. T h e split b e t w e e n t h e C h r i s t i a n left a n d t h e C h r i s t i a n r i g h t c o u l d b e , i n p a r t , that s o m e p e o p l e s e e t o l e r a n c e a n d a c c e p t a n c e a s part o f their n o b l e r s e l v e s ; o t h e r s f e e l t h a t

2 0 0

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

they c a n b e s t h o n o r G o d b y w o r k i n g t o c h a n g e s o c i e t y a n d its l a w s t o c o n f o r m to t h e e t h i c of divinity, e v e n if t h a t m e a n s i m p o s i n g r e l i g i o u s l a w s on people of other faiths.

A W E

A N D

T R A N S C E N D E N C E

Virtue i s not t h e only c a u s e o f m o v e m e n t o n t h e third d i m e n s i o n . T h e vastn e s s a n d b e a u t y o f n a t u r e similarly stirs t h e s o u l . I m m a n u e l K a n t explicitly linked morality a n d n a t u r e w h e n h e d e c l a r e d that t h e two c a u s e s o f genu i n e a w e a r e " t h e starry sky a b o v e a n d t h e m o r a l law w i t h i n . " 3 3 D a r w i n felt spiritually u p l i f t e d w h i l e e x p l o r i n g S o u t h A m e r i c a : In my journal I wrote that whilst s t a n d i n g in midst of the g r a n d e u r of a Brazilian forest, "it is not p o s s i b l e to give an a d e q u a t e idea of the higher feelings of wonder, admiration, a n d devotion which fill and elevate the mind." I well r e m e m b e r my conviction that there is m o r e in m a n than the breath of his body. 3 4 T h e N e w E n g l a n d t r a n s c e n d e n t a l i s t m o v e m e n t w a s b a s e d directly o n the idea that G o d i s t o b e f o u n d i n e a c h p e r s o n a n d i n n a t u r e , s o s p e n d i n g time alone in the woods is a way of knowing and worshiping G o d . Ralph Waldo E m e r s o n , a founder of the m o v e m e n t , wrote: Standing on the bare g r o u n d — m y h e a d b a t h e d by the blithe air and uplifted into infinite s p a c e — a l l m e a n e g o t i s m vanishes. I b e c o m e a transparent eyeball; I am n o t h i n g ; I s e e all; t h e c u r r e n t s of t h e U n i v e r s a l Being circulate through m e ; I am part or p a r c e l of G o d . T h e n a m e of the nearest friend s o u n d s then foreign a n d a c c i d e n t a l ; to be brothers, to be a c q u a i n t a n c e s , master or servant, is then a trifle and a d i s t u r b a n c e . I am the lover of uncontained and immortal beauty. 3 5 S o m e t h i n g a b o u t t h e v a s t n e s s a n d b e a u t y o f n a t u r e m a k e s t h e self feel small a n d insignificant, a n d a n y t h i n g that s h r i n k s t h e self c r e a t e s a n oppor-

Divinity With or Without God J 85 tunity for spiritual e x p e r i e n c e . In c h a p t e r 1, I w r o t e a b o u t t h e d i v i d e d s e l f — the m a n y w a y s i n w h i c h p e o p l e feel a s t h o u g h they h a v e m u l t i p l e s e l v e s o r i n t e l l i g e n c e s that s o m e t i m e s c o n f l i c t . T h i s division i s o f t e n e x p l a i n e d b y p o s i t i n g a s o u l — a higher, n o b l e , s p i r i t u a l s e l f , w h i c h i s t i e d d o w n t o a b o d y — a lower, b a s e , carnal self. T h e soul e s c a p e s t h e b o d y only a t d e a t h ; but b e f o r e t h e n , spiritual p r a c t i c e s , great s e r m o n s , a n d a w e a t n a t u r e c a n give the soul a t a s t e of the f r e e d o m to c o m e . T h e r e are m a n y other ways of getting such a foretaste. People o f t e n refer to viewing great art, h e a r i n g a s y m p h o n y , or l i s t e n i n g to an i n s p i r i n g s p e a k e r a s (crypto) religious e x p e r i e n c e s . A n d s o m e things give m o r e t h a n a t a s t e : T h e y give a full-blown, t h o u g h temporary, e s c a p e . W h e n t h e h a l l u c i n o g e n i c d r u g s L S D a n d p s i l o c y b i n b e c a m e widely k n o w n i n t h e W e s t , m e d i c a l res e a r c h e r s c a l l e d t h e s e d r u g s " p s y c h o t o - m i m e t i c " b e c a u s e they m i m i c k e d s o m e of the s y m p t o m s of psychotic disorders s u c h as schizophrenia. B u t t h o s e w h o tried the d r u g s generally r e j e c t e d that label a n d m a d e u p t e r m s such as "psychedelic" (manifesting the mind) and "entheogen" ( g e n e r a t i n g Clod f r o m within). T h e A z t e c w o r d for t h e p s i l o c y b i n m u s h r o o m w a s teonunacatl, w h i c h m e a n s literally "god's f l e s h " ; w h e n it w a s e a t e n in r e l i g i o u s c e r e m o n i e s , i t g a v e m a n y t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f a direct e n c o u n t e r with G o d . 3 6 D r u g s that c r e a t e a n a l t e r e d m e n t a l s t a t e h a v e a n o b v i o u s u s e f u l n e s s i n marking off s a c r e d e x p e r i e n c e s f r o m p r o f a n e , a n d t h e r e f o r e m a n y d r u g s , including alcohol a n d m a r i j u a n a , play a role in religious rites in s o m e c u l tures. B u t there i s s o m e t h i n g special a b o u t the p h e n e t h y l a m i n e s — t h e d r u g c l a s s that i n c l u d e s L S D a n d psilocybin. D r u g s i n this c l a s s , w h e t h e r n a t u r a l l y o c c u r r i n g (as in psilocybin, m e s c a l i n e , or y a g e ) or s y n t h e s i z e d by a c h e m i s t (I , S D , ecstasy, D M T ) a r e u n m a t c h e d in their ability to i n d u c e m a s s i v e alterations o f p e r c e p t i o n a n d e m o t i o n that s o m e t i m e s feel, e v e n t o s e c u l a r u s e r s , like c o n t a c t with divinity, a n d that c a u s e p e o p l e to feel a f t e r w a r d s that t h e y ' v e been t r a n s f o r m e d . 3 7 T h e e f f e c t s o f t h e s e d r u g s d e p e n d greatly o n w h a t T i m o thy Leary a n d t h e other early p s y c h e d e l i c explorers called " s e t a n d s e t t i n g , " referring to the user's mental set. a n d to the s e t t i n g in w h i c h the d r u g s a r e taken. W h e n p e o p l e bring a reverential m i n d s e t a n d take the d r u g s in a s a f e nnd s u p p o r t i v e setting, as is d o n e in t h e initiation rites of s o m e t r a d i t i o n a l c u l t u r e s , 3 8 t h e s e d r u g s c a n b e catalysts for spiritual a n d p e r s o n a l g r o w t h .

202

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

In the m o s t direct test of this catalyst h y p o t h e s i s , Walter P a h n k e , 3 9 a physician working on a dissertation in theology, brought twenty g r a d u a t e s t u d e n t s in theology into a room b e l o w the c h a p e l at B o s t o n University on G o o d Friday 1 9 6 2 . H e gave ten o f the s t u d e n t s 3 0 m i l l i g r a m s o f psilocybin; the other ten were given identical-looking pills c o n t a i n i n g vitamin B5 (nicotinic a c i d ) , which c r e a t e s feelings of tingles a n d f l u s h i n g on the skin. T h e vitamin B5 is what's known as an active p l a c e b o : It c r e a t e s real bodily feelings, so if the beneficial e f f e c t s of psilocybin were j u s t p l a c e b o e f f e c t s , the control group would have good r e a s o n to s h o w t h e m . O v e r the next f e w hours, the whole g r o u p listened (via s p e a k e r s ) to the G o o d Friday service going on in the c h a p e l upstairs. Nobody, not e v e n Pahnke, k n e w w h o had taken which pill. B u t two hours after the pills w e r e taken, there c o u l d be no d o u b t . T h o s e w h o h a d taken the p l a c e b o w e r e the first to feel s o m e thing h a p p e n i n g , a n d they a s s u m e d they h a d g o t t e n the p s i l o c y b i n . B u t nothing e l s e h a p p e n e d . H a l f an hour later, the other s t u d e n t s b e g a n an exp e r i e n c e that m a n y later d e s c r i b e d as o n e of the m o s t i m p o r t a n t in their lives. Pahnke interviewed t h e m after the d r u g wore off, a n d again a w e e k later, a n d again six m o n t h s later. He f o u n d that m o s t of the p e o p l e in the psilocybin group reported m o s t of the n i n e f e a t u r e s of mystical e x p e r i e n c e h e had set out t o m e a s u r e . T h e s t r o n g e s t a n d m o s t c o n s i s t e n t e f f e c t s inc l u d e d f e e l i n g s o f unity with t h e u n i v e r s e , t r a n s c e n d e n c e o f t i m e a n d s p a c e , joy, a difficulty p u t t i n g the e x p e r i e n c e into w o r d s , a n d a f e e l i n g of having b e e n c h a n g e d for the better. M a n y r e p o r t e d s e e i n g b e a u t i f u l colors a n d patterns a n d having p r o f o u n d feelings o f ecstasy, fear, a n d a w e . Awe is the e m o t i o n of s e l f - t r a n s c e n d e n c e . My friend D a c h e r Keltner, an expert on e m o t i o n at the University of C a l i f o r n i a at Berkeley, p r o p o s e d to me a f e w years ago that we review the literature on a w e a n d try to m a k e s e n s e o f i t o u r s e l v e s . W e f o u n d 4 0 that s c i e n t i f i c p s y c h o l o g y h a d a l m o s t nothing to say a b o u t a w e . It can't be s t u d i e d in other a n i m a l s or c r e a t e d easily in the lab, so it d o e s n ' t lend i t s e l f to e x p e r i m e n t a l r e s e a r c h . B u t philosophers, sociologists, a n d t h e o l o g i a n s h a d a great deal to s a y a b o u t it. As we traced the word " a w e " b a c k in history, we d i s c o v e r e d that it h a s always h a d a link to f e a r a n d s u b m i s s i o n in the p r e s e n c e of s o m e t h i n g m u c h greater than the self. It's only in very m o d e r n t i m e s — i n our de-sacraliz.ed world, p e r h a p s — t h a t a w e has b e e n r e d u c e d t o s u r p r i s e p l u s approval, a n d

Divinity With or Without God J 85 I lie w o r d " a w e s o m e , " m u c h u s e d b y A m e r i c a n t e e n a g e r s , h a s c o m e t o m e a n little m o r e t h a n " d o u b l e - p l u s g o o d " (to u s e G e o r g e O r w e l l ' s t e r m l r o m 1984). K e l t n e r a n d I c o n c l u d e d t h a t t h e e m o t i o n o f a w e h a p p e n s when two conditions are met: a person perceives s o m e t h i n g vast (usually physically v a s t , b u t s o m e t i m e s c o n c e p t u a l l y v a s t , s u c h a s a g r a n d t h e o r y ; o r socially v a s t , s u c h a s g r e a t f a m e o r p o w e r ) ; a n d t h e v a s t t h i n g c a n n o t b e a c c o m m o d a t e d by the person's existing mental structures. S o m e t h i n g enorm o u s can't b e p r o c e s s e d , a n d w h e n p e o p l e a r e s t u m p e d , s t o p p e d i n t h e i r cognitive tracks while in the p r e s e n c e of s o m e t h i n g vast, they feel s m a l l , powerless, passive, and receptive. They often (though not always) feel fear, a d m i r a t i o n , e l e v a t i o n , o r a s e n s e o f b e a u t y a s well. B y s t o p p i n g p e o p l e a n d m a k i n g t h e m r e c e p t i v e , a w e c r e a t e s a n o p e n i n g for c h a n g e , a n d t h i s i s w h y a w e p l a y s a role in m o s t s t o r i e s of religious c o n v e r s i o n . W e f o u n d a p r o t o t y p e o f a w e — a p e r f e c t but e x t r e m e c a s e in the dramatic c l i m a x of t h e Bhagavad Gita. T h e Gita is an e p i s o d e within t h e m u c h longer story o f t h e Mahabharata, a n e p i c w o r k a b o u t a w a r b e t w e e n t w o b r a n c h e s of an I n d i a n royal family. As the h e r o of t h e story, A i j u n a , is a b o u t t o lead his troops into b a t d e , h e l o s e s his nerve a n d r e f u s e s t o f i g h t . H e d o e s not want to l e a d his k i n s m e n into s l a u g h t e r a g a i n s t his k i n s m e n . T h e Gita is the story o f h o w Krishna ( a f o r m o f t h e g o d V i s h n u ) p e r s u a d e s A i j u n a that h e m u s t lead his troops into battle. I n t h e m i d d l e o f t h e b a t t l e f i e l d , with t r o o p s arrayed on b o t h s i d e s , Krishna gives a d e t a i l e d a n d a b s t r a c t t h e o l o g i c a l l e c ture o n t h e topic o f d h a r m a — t h e moral law o f t h e u n i v e r s e . A r j u n a ' s d h a r m a requires that h e fight a n d win this war. N o t surprisingly (given t h e w e a k n e s s of reason w h e n it c o m e s to motivating a c t i o n ) , A r j u n a is u n m o v e d . A i j u n a a s k s Krishna t o s h o w him this u n i v e r s e o f w h i c h h e s p e a k s . K r i s h n a g r a n t s Arjuna's r e q u e s t a n d gives h i m a c o s m i c eye that a l l o w s h i m t o s e e G o d a n d the universe a s they really are. A i j u n a then h a s a n e x p e r i e n c e that s o u n d s t o m o d e r n r e a d e r s like a n L S D trip. H e s e e s s u n s , g o d s , a n d i n f i n i t e t i m e . H e i s Tilled with a m a z e m e n t . H i s hair s t a n d s o n e n d . H e i s d i s o r i e n t e d a n d c o n f u s e d , u n a b l e to c o m p r e h e n d t h e w o n d e r s he is s e e i n g . I d o n ' t k n o w w h e t h e r l .tlwin A b b o t r e a d t h e Bhagavad Gita, b u t t h e s q u a r e ' s e x p e r i e n c e in S p a c e Innd is exactly like Arjuna's. A r j u n a is clearly in a s t a t e of a w e w h e n he s a y s , " Things never b e f o r e s e e n have I s e e n , a n d e c s t a t i c is my joy; y e t f e a r - a n d tiembling perturb my mind."41 W h e n the cosmic eye is r e m o v e d a n d A i j u n a

204

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

c o m e s "down" from his trip, he d o e s j u s t w h a t the s q u a r e did: He prostrates himself before the G o d w h o enlightened him, and he begs to serve. Krishna c o m m a n d s Aijuna to be loyal to him, a n d to c u t off all other a t t a c h m e n t s . Arj u n a gladly obeys, and, from then on, he honors Krishna's c o m m a n d s . Arjuna's experience is e x t r e m e — t h e s t u f f of scripture; yet m a n y p e o p l e have had a spiritually transformative e x p e r i e n c e that i n c l u d e d m a n y of the s a m e e l e m e n t s . In what is still the g r e a t e s t work on the p s y c h o l o g y of religion, William J a m e s analyzed the "varieties of religious e x p e r i e n c e , " 4 2 inc l u d i n g rapid a n d gradual religious c o n v e r s i o n s a n d e x p e r i e n c e s with drugs a n d nature. J a m e s f o u n d s u c h extraordinary similarity in the reports of these experiences that he thought they revealed d e e p psychological truths. O n e of the d e e p e s t truths, J a m e s said, w a s that we e x p e r i e n c e life as a divided self, torn b y c o n f l i c t i n g d e s i r e s . R e l i g i o u s e x p e r i e n c e s a r e real a n d c o m m o n , whether or not G o d exists, and t h e s e e x p e r i e n c e s o f t e n m a k e p e o p l e feel whole a n d at p e a c e . In the rapid type of c o n v e r s i o n e x p e r i e n c e ( s u c h as those of A i j u n a a n d the square), the old self, full of petty c o n c e r n s , doubts, and grasping a t t a c h m e n t s , is w a s h e d away in an instant, u s u a l l y an instant of profound awe. People feel reborn a n d o f t e n r e m e m b e r the exact time and place of this rebirth, the m o m e n t they s u r r e n d e r e d their will to a higher power a n d w e r e granted direct e x p e r i e n c e of d e e p e r truth. A f t e r s u c h rebirth, f e a r a n d worry are greatly d i m i n i s h e d a n d the world s e e m s c l e a n , new, a n d bright. T h e self is c h a n g e d in ways that any priest, rabbi, or psychotherapist w o u l d call miraculous. J a m e s d e s c r i b e d t h e s e c h a n g e s : T h e man who lives in his religious centre of personal energy, and is actuated by spiritual enthusiasms, differs from his previous carnal self in perfectly definite ways. T h e new ardor which b u m s in his breast c o n s u m e s in its glow the lower "noes" which formerly beset him, and keeps him immune against infection from the entire groveling portion of his nature. Magnanimities once impossible are now easy; paltry conventionalities and mean incentives once tyrannical hold no sway. T h e stone wall inside of him has fallen, the hardness in his heart has broken down. T h e rest of us can, I think, imagine this by recalling our state of feeling in those temporary "melting moods" into which either the trials of real life, or the theatre, or a novel sometimes throw us. Especially if we weep! For it is then as if

Divinity With or Without God J 85 our tears broke through an inveterate inner d a m , and let all sorts of a n c i e n t p e c c a n c i e s a n d moral stagnancies drain away, leaving us now w a s h e d a n d soft of heart and open to every nobler leading. 4 3 J a m e s ' s " m e l t i n g m o o d s " a r e strikingly s i m i l a r t o t h e f e e l i n g s o f e l e v a t i o n described by Jefferson and by David Whitford. A t h e i s t s m a y protest that they, too, c a n h a v e m a n y o f t h e s a m e e x p e r i e n c e s w i t h o u t G o d . T h e p s y c h o l o g i s t w h o took s u c h s e c u l a r e x p e r i e n c e s s e riously w a s A b r a h a m M a s l o w , Harry H a r l o w ' s first g r a d u a t e s t u d e n t a n d a founder of humanistic psychology. M a s l o w collected reports of w h a t he c a l l e d " p e a k e x p e r i e n c e s " — t h o s e extraordinary s e l f - t r a n s c e n d e n t m o m e n t s that feel qualitatively d i f f e r e n t f r o m ordinary life. In a s m a l l g e m of a b o o k , Religions, Values, and Peak Ex-periences,44 M a s l o w listed twenty-five c o m m o n f e a t u r e s of p e a k e x p e r i e n c e s , nearly all of w h i c h c a n be f o u n d s o m e w h e r e in William J a m e s . H e r e are s o m e : T h e u n i v e r s e i s p e r c e i v e d a s a u n i f i e d w h o l e where everything i s a c c e p t e d a n d n o t h i n g i s j u d g e d o r r a n k e d ; e g o c e n t r i s m a n d goal-striving d i s a p p e a r a s a p e r s o n f e e l s m e r g e d with the u n i v e r s e ( a n d o f t e n with G o d ) ; p e r c e p t i o n s o f t i m e a n d s p a c e a r e a l t e r e d ; a n d the p e r s o n i s flooded with f e e l i n g s of wonder, a w e , joy, love, a n d g r a t i t u d e . Maslow's goal w a s to d e m o n s t r a t e that spiritual life has a n a t u r a l i s t i c m e a n i n g , that p e a k e x p e r i e n c e s are a b a s i c f a c t a b o u t t h e h u m a n m i n d . In all e r a s a n d all c u l t u r e s , many p e o p l e f i a v e h a d t h e s e e x p e r i e n c e s , a n d M a s l o w s u g g e s t e d that all religions a r e b a s e d o n t h e insights o f s o m e b o d y ' s p e a k experience. P e a k e x p e r i e n c e s m a k e p e o p l e nobler, j u s t a s J a m e s h a d s a i d , a n d religions w e r e c r e a t e d a s m e t h o d s o f p r o m o t i n g p e a k e x p e r i e n c e s a n d t h e n m a x i m i z i n g their e n n o b l i n g p o w e r s . R e l i g i o n s s o m e t i m e s l o s e t o u c h w i t h I heir origins, h o w e v e r ; they a r e s o m e t i m e s t a k e n over by p e o p l e w h o h a v e not had p e a k e x p e r i e n c e s — t h e b u r e a u c r a t s a n d c o m p a n y m e n w h o w a n t t o routinize p r o c e d u r e s a n d g u a r d orthodoxy for orthodoxy's s a k e . T h i s , M a s l o w said, i s why m a n y y o u n g p e o p l e b e c a m e d i s e n c h a n t e d with o r g a n i z e d religion in t h e mid-twentieth-century, s e a r c h i n g i n s t e a d for p e a k e x p e r i e n c e s in p s y c h e d e l i c d r u g s , E a s t e r n religions, a n d n e w f o r m s o f C h r i s t i a n w o r s h i p . Maslow's analysis probably d o e s not s h o c k you. It m a k e s s e n s e as a s e c u l a r p s y c h o l o g i c a l e x p l a n a t i o n o f religion. B u t w h a t i s m o s t s u r p r i s i n g in Religions, Values, and Peak Experiences is M a s l o w ' s a t t a c k on s c i e n c e f o r

206

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

becoming as sterile as organized religion. T h e historians of s c i e n c e Lorraine Daston and Katherine Park 4 5 later d o c u m e n t e d this change. They showed that scientists and philosophers had traditionally held an attitude of wonder toward the natural world and the objects of their inquiry. But in the late sixteenth century, E u r o p e a n scientists began to look down on wonder; they began to see it as the mark of a childish mind, whereas the mature scientist went about coolly cataloging the laws of the world. Scientists may tell us in their memoirs about their private s e n s e of wonder, but the everyday world of the scientist is one that rigidly separates facts from values and emotions. Maslow e c h o e d Eliade in claiming that s c i e n c e has helped to de-sacralize the world, that it is devoted to d o c u m e n t i n g only what is, rather than what is good or what is beautiful. O n e might object that there is an a c a d e m i c division of labor; the good and the beautiful are the province of the humanities, not of the sciences. Maslow charged, however, that the humanities had abdicated their responsibility with their retreat to relativism, their skepticism about the possibility of truth, and their preference for novelty and iconoclasm over beauty. He f o u n d e d humanistic psychology in part to feed the widespread hunger for knowledge about values and to investigate the sort of truth people glimpse in peak experiences. Maslow did not believe religions were literally true (as actual a c c o u n t s of G o d and creation), but he thought they were based on the most important truths of life, and he wanted to unite those truths with the truths of s c i e n c e . His goal was nothing less than the reformation of education and, therefore, of society: " E d u c a t i o n must be seen as at least partially an effort to p r o d u c e the good h u m a n being, to foster the good life and the good society." 4 6

T H E

S A T A N I C

SELF

T h e self is one of the great p a r a d o x e s of h u m a n evolution. Like the fire stolen by Prometheus, it m a d e us powerful but exacted a cost. In The Curse of the Self,47 the social psychologist M a r k Leary points out that many other animals can think, but none, so far as we know, s p e n d m u c h time thinking about themselves. Only a f e w other primates (and p e r h a p s dolphins) can

Divinity With or Without God J 85 even learn that the i m a g e in a mirror b e l o n g s to t h e m . 4 8 O n l y a c r e a t u r e w i t h l a n g u a g e ability h a s t h e m e n t a l a p p a r a t u s t o f o c u s a t t e n t i o n o n t h e self, t o l l i i n k a b o u t the self's invisible attributes a n d long t e r m g o a l s , to c r e a t e a n a r rative a b o u t that self, a n d t h e n t o react e m o t i o n a l l y t o t h o u g h t s a b o u t t h a t narrative. L e a r y s u g g e s t s that this ability to c r e a t e a self g a v e o u r a n c e s t o r s m a n y u s e f u l skills, s u c h a s long-term p l a n n i n g , c o n s c i o u s d e c i s i o n m a k i n g a n d self-control, a n d the ability t o s e e o t h e r people's p e r s p e c t i v e s . B e c a u s e t h e s e skills a r e all i m p o r t a n t for e n a b l i n g h u m a n b e i n g s to w o r k c l o s e l y tog e t h e r o n large projects, the d e v e l o p m e n t o f t h e self m a y h a v e b e e n c r u c i a l t o t h e d e v e l o p m e n t o f h u m a n ultrasociality. B u t b y giving e a c h o n e o f u s a n inner world, a world full of s i m u l a t i o n s , s o c i a l c o m p a r i s o n s , a n d r e p u t a t i o n a l c o n c e r n s , t h e self a l s o g a v e e a c h o n e o f u s a p e r s o n a l tormenter. W e all n o w live a m i d a whirlpool of inner chatter, m u c h of w h i c h is n e g a t i v e ( t h r e a t s loom larger than o p p o r t u n i t i e s ) , a n d m o s t of w h i c h is u s e l e s s . It is i m p o r t a n t to n o t e that t h e self is not exactly t h e r i d e r — m u c h of t h e self is u n c o n s c i o u s a n d a u t o m a t i c — b u t b e c a u s e t h e self e m e r g e s f r o m c o n s c i o u s verbal t h i n k ing a n d storytelling, it c a n be c o n s t r u c t e d only by the rider. Leary's analysis s h o w s why t h e self is a p r o b l e m for all m a j o r r e l i g i o n s : The self is t h e m a i n o b s t a c l e to spiritual a d v a n c e m e n t , in t h r e e w a y s . F i r s t , t he c o n s t a n t s t r e a m of trivial c o n c e r n s a n d e g o c e n t r i c t h o u g h t s k e e p s p e o p l e locked i n the material a n d p r o f a n e world, u n a b l e t o p e r c e i v e s a c r e d n e s s a n d divinity. T h i s is why E a s t e r n religions rely heavily on m e d i t a t i o n , an e f f e c t i v e m e a n s o f q u i e t i n g t h e c h a t t e r o f t h e self. S e c o n d , spiritual t r a n s f o r m a t i o n i s essentially t h e t r a n s f o r m a t i o n of t h e self, w e a k e n i n g it, p r u n i n g it b a c k in s o m e s e n s e , killing i t — a n d o f t e n the self o b j e c t s . G i v e u p m y p o s s e s s i o n s a n d t h e p r e s t i g e they bring? N o way! L o v e m y e n e m i e s , a f t e r w h a t they d i d to m e ? Forget a b o u t it. A n d third, following a spiritual p a t h is invariably h a r d work, requiring years of m e d i t a t i o n , prayer, self-control, a n d s o m e t i m e s s e l f denial. T h e self d o e s not like t o b e d e n i e d , a n d i t i s a d e p t a t f i n d i n g r e a s o n s to b e n d the r u l e s or c h e a t . M a n y religions t e a c h that egoistic a t t a c h m e n t s to p l e a s u r e a n d reputation a r e c o n s t a n t t e m p t a t i o n s t o leave t h e p a t h o f v i r t u e . In a s e n s e , the self is S a t a n , or, at least, S a t a n ' s portal. For all t h e s e r e a s o n s , t h e s e l f i s a p r o b l e m for t h e e t h i c o f divinity. T h e big g r e e d y s e l f is like a b r i c k h o l d i n g d o w n t h e s o u l . O n l y by s e e i n g t h e s e l f

208

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

in this way, I believe, c a n o n e u n d e r s t a n d a n d even r e s p e c t the moral motivations of t h o s e w h o w a n t to m a k e their society c o n f o r m m o r e closely to the particular religion they follow.

F L A T L A N D

A N D

THE

C U L T U R E

W A R

H u m o r h e l p s p e o p l e c o p e with adversity, a n d a f t e r G e o r g e W . B u s h received a majority of the votes in the U . S . p r e s i d e n t i a l e l e c t i o n of 2 0 0 4 , 49 percent of A m e r i c a n s had a lot of c o p i n g to do. M a n y p e o p l e in the "blue s t a t e s " ( t h o s e w h e r e a majority voted for J o h n Kerry, s h o w n on all electoral m a p s in b l u e ) c o u l d not u n d e r s t a n d why p e o p l e in the " r e d s t a t e s " supported B u s h a n d his policies. L i b e r a l s p o s t e d m a p s o f the U n i t e d S t a t e s o n the Internet that s h o w e d the b l u e s t a t e s (all in the N o r t h e a s t , the upper M i d w e s t , and a l o n g the West c o a s t ) l a b e l e d " U n i t e d S t a t e s o f A m e r i c a " ; the red states ( a l m o s t the whole interior a n d s o u t h of the n a t i o n ) were labeled " J e s u s l a n d . " C o n s e r v a t i v e s c o u n t e r e d with their own m a p in which the blue states were labeled " N e w F r a n c e , " but I think a m o r e a c c u r a t e parody, f r o m the right's p o i n t of view, m i g h t h a v e b e e n to call the b l u e states " S e l f l a n d . " I am not s u g g e s t i n g that p e o p l e w h o voted for J o h n Kerry are any more selfish than those w h o voted for G e o r g e B u s h — i n d e e d , the taxation a n d social policies of the two c a n d i d a t e s s u g g e s t j u s t the opposite. B u t I am trying to understand the mutual i n c o m p r e h e n s i o n of the two s i d e s in the culture war, a n d I believe that S h w e d e r ' s t h r e e e t h i c s — p a r t i c u l a r l y t h e ethic of divinity—are the key to it. W h i c h of the following q u o t a t i o n s inspires you more: (1) " S e l f - e s t e e m is the basis of any d e m o c r a c y " ; (2) "It's not all a b o u t you." T h e first is attributed to Gloria S t e i n e m , 4 9 a f o u n d e r of the f e m i n i s t m o v e m e n t in the 1970s. I t c l a i m s that s e x i s m , r a c i s m , a n d o p p r e s s i o n m a k e p a r t i c u l a r g r o u p s o f p e o p l e feel unworthy a n d t h e r e f o r e u n d e r m i n e their p a r t i c i p a t i o n in democracy. T h i s q u o t e also reflects the c o r e i d e a of the ethic of a u t o n o m y : Individuals a r e w h a t really m a t t e r in life, so t h e ideal s o c i e t y p r o t e c t s all individuals from harm and r e s p e c t s their a u t o n o m y and f r e e d o m of choice. T h e ethic of a u t o n o m y is well suited to helping p e o p l e with different back-

Divinity With or Without God J 85 grounds a n d v a l u e s g e t a l o n g with e a c h other b e c a u s e it a l l o w s e a c h p e r s o n to p u r s u e the life s h e c h o o s e s , as long as those c h o i c e s don't interfere w i t h the rights of others. T h e s e c o n d q u o t e i s the o p e n i n g line o f the world's b i g g e s t - s e l l i n g b o o k in 2 0 0 3 a n d 2 0 0 4 , The Purpose Driven Life by R i c k W a r r e n , 5 0 a g u i d e f o r linding p u r p o s e a n d m e a n i n g through faith i n J e s u s C h r i s t a n d the revelation of the Bible. F r o m Warren's p e r s p e c t i v e , the self is t h e c a u s e of o u r p r o b l e m s a n d t h e r e f o r e efforts t o raise children's s e l f - e s t e e m directly w i t h awards, praise, a n d e x e r c i s e s t o m a k e t h e m feel " s p e c i a l " a r e positively evil. The c o r e idea of the e t h i c of divinity is that e a c h p e r s o n h a s divinity i n s i d e , so the ideal s o c i e t y h e l p s p e o p l e live in a way c o n s i s t e n t w i t h that divinity. What an individual desires is not particularly important many desires c o m e from the carnal self. S c h o o l s , families, a n d the m e d i a s h o u l d all w o r k together t o h e l p c h i l d r e n o v e r c o m e their s e n s e o f self a n d e n t i t l e m e n t a n d live instead in t h e way C h r i s t i n t e n d e d . M a n y of the- key b a t t l e s in the A m e r i c a n culture war are e s s e n t i a l l y a b o u t whether s o m e a s p e c t of life s h o u l d be s t r u c t u r e d by the e t h i c of a u t o n o m y or by the ethic of divinity. 5 1 ( T h e ethic of community, w h i c h s t r e s s e s t h e importance of t h e g r o u p over that of t h e individual, t e n d s to be allied with t h e ethic of divinity). S h o u l d there be prayer in s c h o o l s ? S h o u l d t h e Ten C o m mandments be posted in schools and courthouses? Should the phrase "under G o d " b e s t r u c k from the A m e r i c a n p l e d g e o f a l l e g i a n c e ? L i b e r a l s u s u a l l y want to k e e p religion out of public life so that p e o p l e c a n n o t be f o r c e d to participate a g a i n s t their will, but religious conservatives w a n t s c h o o l s a n d c o u r t h o u s e s re-sacralized. T h e y w a n t their children to live in a ( p a r t i c u l a r ) t h r e e - d i m e n s i o n a l world, a n d if the s c h o o l s won't p r o v i d e it, they s o m e limes turn to h o m e - s c h o o l i n g instead. S h o u l d p e o p l e b e a l l o w e d t o u s e birth control, a b o r t i o n , r e p r o d u c t i v e technologies, a n d a s s i s t e d s u i c i d e a s they p l e a s e ? I t d e p e n d s o n w h e t h e r your goal i s t o e m p o w e r p e o p l e t o m a n a g e s o m e o f t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t c h o i c e s of their lives, or w h e t h e r you think all s u c h d e c i s i o n s m u s t be m a d e by G o d . If t h e book title Our Bodies, Ourselves s o u n d s like a n o b l e act of d e fliince to you, y o u will s u p p o r t people's rights to c h o o s e their o w n sexual a c livities a n d to m o d i f y their bodies as they p l e a s e . But if y o u believe t h a t "( Jod p r e s c r i b e d every single detail of your body," 5 2 as W a r r e n writes in The

210

'i'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

Purpose Driven Life, you will probably be o f f e n d e d by sexual diversity a n d by body m o d i f i c a t i o n s s u c h as piercings and plastic surgery. My s t u d e n t s a n d I h a v e i n t e r v i e w e d political liberals a n d c o n s e r v a t i v e s a b o u t s e x u a l morality, 5 3 and a b o u t body m o d i f i c a t i o n s , 5 4 a n d in both s t u d i e s we f o u n d that liberals were m u c h m o r e p e r m i s s i v e and relied overwhelmingly on the ethic of a u t o n o m y ; conservatives, m u c h m o r e critical, u s e d all three ethics in their d i s c o u r s e . For e x a m p l e , o n e conservative m a n j u s t i f i e d his c o n d e m nation of a story a b o u t an u n u s u a l form of m a s t u r b a t i o n : It's a sin b e c a u s e it d i s t a n c e s ourselves from G o d . It's a pleasure that G o d did not design for us to enjoy b e c a u s e sexual pleasures, through, you know, a married heterosexual couple, were designed by G o d in order to reproduce. 5 5 On i s s u e after i s s u e , liberals want to maximize a u t o n o m y by removing limits, barriers, and restrictions. T h e religious right, on the other hand, wants to structure personal, social, and political relationships in three dimensions and so create a l a n d s c a p e of purity a n d pollution w h e r e restrictions maintain the separation of the s a c r e d and the profane. For the religious right, hell on earth is a flat land of unlimited f r e e d o m where selves r o a m around with no higher p u r p o s e than expressing and developing t h e m s e l v e s .

As a liberal, I value t o l e r a n c e and o p e n n e s s to n e w i d e a s . I have d o n e my best, in this chapter, to be tolerant toward t h o s e w h o s e politics I o p p o s e a n d to find merit in religious i d e a s I do not hold. B u t a l t h o u g h I have begun to s e e the r i c h n e s s that divinity a d d s to h u m a n e x p e r i e n c e , I do not entirely l a m e n t the " f l a t t e n i n g " of life in the West over the last f e w hundred years. An u n f o r t u n a t e t e n d e n c y of three-dimensional s o c i e t i e s is that they often i n c l u d e o n e or m o r e g r o u p s that get p u s h e d d o w n on the third d i m e n s i o n a n d then treated badly, or worse. L o o k at the c o n d i t i o n s of "unt o u c h a b l e s " in India until recently, or at the plight of J e w s in medieval E u rope and in purity-obstessed N a z i G e r m a n y , or at the humiliation of African A m e r i c a n s i n t h e s e g r e g a t e d S o u t h . T h e A m e r i c a n r e l i g i o u s right n o w

Divinity With or Without God J 85 s e e m s to be trying to p u s h h o m o s e x u a l s d o w n in a similar way. L i b e r a l i s m a n d the ethic of a u t o n o m y are great p r o t e c t o r s against s u c h i n j u s t i c e s . I believe it is d a n g e r o u s for t h e ethic of divinity to s u p e r s e d e t h e e t h i c of autonomy, in the g o v e r n a n c e of a diverse m o d e r n d e m o c r a c y . H o w e v e r , I also believe that life in a society that entirely ignored the ethic of divinity would be ugly a n d unsatisfying. B e c a u s e t h e c u l t u r e war is ideological, both s i d e s u s e the m y t h of p u r e evil. To a c k n o w l e d g e that the other s i d e might be right a b o u t anything is an net of treason. My r e s e a r c h on the third d i m e n s i o n , however, h a s f r e e d me I'rom the myth a n d m a d e it easy for me to think t r e a s o n o u s t h o u g h t s . H e r e ' s one: If the third d i m e n s i o n a n d p e r c e p t i o n s of s a c r e d n e s s are an i m p o r t a n t part of h u m a n nature, then the scientific c o m m u n i t y s h o u l d a c c e p t religiosity as a normal a n d healthy a s p e c t of h u m a n n a t u r e — a n a s p e c t that is as d e e p , important, a n d interesting a s sexuality o r l a n g u a g e ( w h i c h w e s t u d y intensely). Here's another t r e a s o n o u s thought: If religious p e o p l e are right in believing that religion is t h e s o u r c e of their g r e a t e s t h a p p i n e s s , t h e n m a y b e the rest o f u s w h o are looking for h a p p i n e s s a n d m e a n i n g c a n l e a r n s o m e t h i n g from t h e m , whether or not we believe in G o d . That's t h e t o p i c of the final chapter.

Happiness Comes from Between Who sees all beings in his own Self, and. his own Self in all beings, loses all fear. . . . When a sage sees this great Unity and his Self has become all beings, what delusion and what s o r r o w can ever be near him? —

U P A N I S H A D S

1

/ w a s entirely happy. Perhaps we feel like that when we die and become a part of something entire, whether it is sun and air, or goodness and knowledge. At any rate, that is happiness: to be dissolved into something complete and great. —

W I M . A

C A T H E R

2

I ^ U O V E R B S , S A Y I N G S , A N D W O R D S of w i s d o m dignify e v e n t s , s o w e o f t e n u s e I h e m to m a r k i m p o r t a n t t r a n s i t i o n s in life. For t h e g r a d u a t i n g c l a s s of 1 9 8 1 ill S c a r s d a l e H i g h S c h o o l , in S c a r s d a l e , N e w "York, c h o o s i n g a q u o t a t i o n was a rite of p a s s a g e , an o p p o r t u n i t y to r e f l e c t on o n e ' s e m e r g i n g i d e n t i t y IIIRI e x p r e s s s o m e a s p e c t of it. As I look t h r o u g h t h e y e a r b o o k f r o m t h a t class, at the quotations u n d e r n e a t h e a c h photo, I s e e two m a i n kinds. M a n y a r e t r i b u t e s t o love a n d f r i e n d s h i p , a p p r o p r i a t e for a t i m e o f p a r t i n g from f r i e n d s ("You n e v e r really leave t h e f r i e n d s you love. Part of t h e m y o u

213

214

'i'LLH

HAPPINESS HYPOTHESIS

take with you, leaving a part of you b e h i n d . " [ A N O N Y M O U S ] ) . T h e other kind e x p r e s s e s o p t i m i s m , s o m e t i m e s m i x e d with t r e p i d a t i o n , a b o u t the r o a d a h e a d . I n d e e d , i t i s d i f f i c u l t t o t h i n k a b o u t g r a d u a t i n g f r o m high school without u s i n g the m e t a p h o r that life is a journey. For e x a m p l e , four s t u d e n t s q u o t e d the C a t S t e v e n s s o n g " O n the R o a d t o Find O u t . " 3 T w o q u o t e d G e o r g e W a s h i n g t o n : "I am e m b a r k e d on a w i d e o c e a n , b o u n d l e s s in its p r o s p e c t and, in which, p e r h a p s , no s a f e harbor is to be f o u n d . " 4 And o n e s t u d e n t q u o t e d this line f r o m B r u c e S p r i n g s t e e n : "Well I got s o m e beer and the highway's free / a n d I got you, a n d b a b y you've got m e . " 5 But nestled a m o n g these a f f i r m a t i o n s of life's limitless possibilities is one with a darker tone: " W h o s o e v e r shall not fall by the sword or by f a m i n e , shall fall by p e s t i l e n c e s o why bother shaving?" ( W O O D Y A L L E N ) . A b o v e those words is a photograph of m e . I was only partly kidding. D u r i n g the previous year, I had written a p a p e r examining the play Waiting for Godot, S a m u e l Beckett's existentialist meditation on the absurdity of life in a world with no G o d , a n d it got me thinking. I was already an atheist, and by my senior year I had b e c a m e o b s e s s e d with the question "What is the m e a n i n g of life?" I wrote my personal statement for college a d m i s s i o n s on the m e a n i n g l e s s n e s s of life. I s p e n t the winter of my senior year in a kind of philosophical d e p r e s s i o n — n o t a clinical depression, j u s t a p e r v a s i v e s e n s e that e v e r y t h i n g w a s p o i n t l e s s . In the grand s c h e m e of things, I thought, it really didn't matter whether I got into college, or whether the Earth was destroyed by an asteroid or by nuclear war. My d e s p a i r w a s particularly s t r a n g e b e c a u s e , for the first time s i n c e the a g e of four, my life w a s p e r f e c t . I had a w o n d e r f u l girlfriend, great friends, a n d loving p a r e n t s . I w a s c a p t a i n of the track t e a m , a n d , p e r h a p s m o s t important for a seventeen-year-old boy, I got to drive a r o u n d in my father's 1 9 6 6 T h u n d e r b i r d c o n v e r t i b l e . Yet I k e p t w o n d e r i n g why any of it mattered. Like the a u t h o r of E c c l e s i a s t e s , I thought that "all is vanity a n d a c h a s i n g after w i n d " ( E C C L E S I A S T E S 1 : 1 4 ) . 6

I finally e s c a p e d w h e n , a f t e r a w e e k of thinking a b o u t s u i c i d e (in the abstract, not as a plan), I turned the p r o b l e m inside out. T h e r e is no G o d a n d no externally given m e a n i n g to life, I thought, so f r o m o n e p e r s p e c t i v e it really wouldn't m a t t e r if I killed m y s e l f tomorrow. Very well, then every-

Ha-ppiness C omes from Between 22 1 tiling b e y o n d t o m o r r o w i s a gift with n o s t r i n g s a n d n o e x p e c t a t i o n s . T h e r e is no test to h a n d in at t h e e n d of life, so t h e r e is no w a y to fail. If t h i s really is all t h e r e is, why n o t e m b r a c e it, r a t h e r t h a n throw it a w a y ? I don't k n o w w h e t h e r this r e a l i z a t i o n l i f t e d m y m o o d o r w h e t h e r a n i m p r o v i n g m o o d h e l p e d m e t o r e f r a m e t h e p r o b l e m with h o p e ; b u t m y e x i s t e n t i a l d e p r e s sion lifted a n d I e n j o y e d t h e last m o n t h s of high s c h o o l . My interest in t h e m e a n i n g of life c o n t i n u e d , however, so in c o l l e g e I m a jored in philosophy, w h e r e I f o u n d f e w a n s w e r s . M o d e r n p h i l o s o p h e r s s p e cialize in analyzing t h e m e a n i n g of w o r d s , but, a s i d e f r o m t h e e x i s t e n t i a l i s t s ( w h o c a u s e d t h e p r o b l e m for m e i n t h e first p l a c e ) , they h a d little t o s a y a b o u t the m e a n i n g of life. It w a s only a f t e r I e n t e r e d g r a d u a t e s c h o o l in p s y chology that I realized w h y m o d e r n p h i l o s o p h y s e e m e d sterile: It l a c k e d a d e e p u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f h u m a n nature. T h e a n c i e n t p h i l o s o p h e r s w e r e o f t e n g o o d p s y c h o l o g i s t s , as I h a v e s h o w n in this book, b u t w h e n m o d e r n p h i l o s o phy b e g a n to d e v o t e itself to t h e s t u d y of logic a n d rationality, it g r a d u a l l y l o s t interest in p s y c h o l o g y a n d lost t o u c h with t h e p a s s i o n a t e , c o n t e x t u a l i z e d n a lure of h u m a n life. It is i m p o s s i b l e to a n a l y z e " t h e m e a n i n g of l i f e " in t h e a b stract, or in general, or for s o m e mythical a n d p e r f e c t l y rational b e i n g . 7 O n l y by knowing t h e kinds of b e i n g s that we a c t u a l l y are, with the c o m p l e x m e n t a l a n d e m o t i o n a l a r c h i t e c t u r e that w e h a p p e n t o p o s s e s s , c a n a n y o n e e v e n b e gin to a s k a b o u t w h a t w o u l d c o u n t as a m e a n i n g f u l life. ( P h i l o s o p h y h a s , to its credit, b e c o m e m o r e psychological a n d m o r e p a s s i o n a t e i n r e c e n t y e a r s . ) 8 As I w e n t on in p s y c h o l o g y a n d in my o w n r e s e a r c h on morality, I d i s c o v e r e d that p s y c h o l o g y a n d r e l a t e d s c i e n c e s h a v e r e v e a l e d s o m u c h a b o u t h u m a n n a t u r e that a n a n s w e r i s n o w p o s s i b l e . I n f a c t , we've k n o w n m o s t o f I h e a n s w e r for a h u n d r e d years, a n d m a n y o f t h e r e m a i n i n g p i e c e s h a v e lallen into p l a c e over t h e last ten. T h i s c h a p t e r i s m y v e r s i o n o f p s y c h o l ogy's a n s w e r to the u l t i m a t e q u e s t i o n .

W H A T

W A S

THE

Q U E S T I O N ?

I'lie q u e s t i o n " W h a t i s t h e m e a n i n g o f l i f e " m i g h t b e c a l l e d t h e H o l y Q u e s lion, i n a n a l o g y t o t h e H o l y G r a i l : Its p u r s u i t i s n o b l e a n d e v e r y o n e s h o u l d

216

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

want to find an answer, yet f e w p e o p l e e x p e c t that o n e c a n be f o u n d . That's why books a n d movies that purport to tell us the a n s w e r to the Holy Q u e s tion often do so only in j e s t . In The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a gigantic c o m p u t e r built to a n s w e r the H o l y Q u e s t i o n spits out its solution after 7.5 million years of c o m p u t a t i o n : "forty-two." 9 In the c l o s i n g s c e n e of the

movie

Monty

Python's

The

Meaning

of Life,

the

answer

to

the

Holy

Q u e s t i o n is h a n d e d to the actor M i c h a e l Palin (in drag), w h o r e a d s it aloud: "Try to be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a g o o d book every now a n d then, get s o m e walking in, a n d try to live in h a r m o n y with p e o p l e of all c r e e d s a n d nations." 1 0 T h e s e a n s w e r s are f u n n y precisely b e c a u s e they take the form of good answers, yet their content is e m p t y or m u n d a n e . These parodies invite us to laugh at ourselves a n d a s k : W h a t w a s I expecting? W h a t kind of answer could have s a t i s f i e d m e ? O n e thing philosophy did t e a c h me is h o w to analyze q u e s t i o n s , how to clarify e x a c d y what i s being a s k e d b e f o r e giving a n answer. T h e Holy Q u e s tion cries out for clarification. W h e n e v e r we a s k " W h a t is the m e a n i n g of X ? " what kind of a n s w e r c o u l d possibly s a t i s f y u s ? T h e most c o m m o n kind of m e a n i n g is definitional. ' W h a t is the meaning of 'ananym'?" m e a n s " D e f i n e the word 'ananym' for me so that I c a n understand it when I read it." I go to a dictionary, 1 1 look it up, and find that it m e a n s "a p s e u d o n y m consisting of the real n a m e written b a c k w a r d s . " Very well, what is the m e a n i n g of "life"? I go b a c k to the dictionary a n d find that life has twenty-one meanings, including "the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a d e a d body or purely c h e m i c a l matter" and "the period from birth to death." D e a d end. T h i s is not at all the right kind of answer. We are not asking about the word "life," we're asking a b o u t life itself. A s e c o n d kind of m e a n i n g is a b o u t s y m b o l i s m or s u b s t i t u t i o n . If you d r e a m a b o u t exploring a b a s e m e n t a n d finding a trap door to a s u b b a s e m e n t , you might a s k , "What is the m e a n i n g of the s u b b a s e m e n t ? " T h e psychologist C a r l J u n g had s u c h a d r e a m 1 2 a n d c o n c l u d e d that the m e a n i n g of the s u b b a s e m e n t — t h e thing it s y m b o l i z e d or stood f o r — w a s the collective u n c o n s c i o u s , a d e e p set of i d e a s s h a r e d by all p e o p l e . B u t this is another d e a d end. L i f e d o e s not symbolize, s t a n d for, or point to anything. It is life itself that we want to u n d e r s t a n d .

Ha-ppiness

Comes from Between 22 1

A third w a y in w h i c h we a s k a b o u t m e a n i n g is as a p l e a for h e l p in m a k ing s e n s e o f s o m e t h i n g , u s u a l l y with r e f e r e n c e t o p e o p l e ' s i n t e n t i o n s a n d b e l i e f s . S u p p o s e y o u w a l k into a m o v i e half a n h o u r late a n d h a v e t o l e a v e half a n h o u r b e f o r e t h e e n d . L a t e r that n i g h t y o u a r e t a l k i n g w i t h a f r i e n d w h o s a w t h e w h o l e f i l m a n d you a s k , " W h a t d i d i t m e a n w h e n t h e g u y w i t h I h e curly hair w i n k e d a t that k i d ? " You a r e a w a r e that t h e a c t h a d s o m e sign i f i c a n c e for t h e p l o t o f the m o v i e , a n d y o u s u s p e c t that y o u n e e d t o k n o w c e r t a i n f a c t s t o u n d e r s t a n d that a c t . P e r h a p s a prior r e l a t i o n s h i p b e t w e e n I he two characters had been revealed in the opening s c e n e s ? To ask, " W h a t w a s t h e m e a n i n g o f t h e w i n k ? " really m e a n s , " W h a t d o I n e e d t o k n o w t o u n d e r s t a n d that w i n k ? " N o w w e ' r e m a k i n g p r o g r e s s , for life i s m u c h l i k e a m o v i e w e w a l k into well a f t e r its o p e n i n g s c e n e , a n d w e will h a v e t o s t e p o u l l o n g b e f o r e m o s t o f t h e story l i n e s r e a c h their c o n c l u s i o n s . W e a r e a c u t e l y a w a r e that w e n e e d t o k n o w a g r e a t deal i f w e a r e t o u n d e r s t a n d I lu- f e w c o n f u s i n g m i n u t e s that w e d o w a t c h . O f c o u r s e , w e d o n ' t k n o w exile I ly w h a t it is that we don't know, so we c a n ' t f r a m e t h e q u e s t i o n w e l l . We a s k , " W h a t i s t h e m e a n i n g o f l i f e ? " not e x p e c t i n g a d i r e c t a n s w e r ( s u c h a s "forty-two"), b u t rather h o p i n g for s o m e e n l i g h t e n m e n t , s o m e t h i n g t o g i v e u s a n " a h a ! " e x p e r i e n c e i n w h i c h , s u d d e n l y , t h i n g s that w e h a d n o t b e f o r e understood or recognized as important begin to make s e n s e (as they did for t h e s q u a r e t a k e n t o t h e third d i m e n s i o n ) . O n c e t h e Holy Q u e s t i o n h a s b e e n r e - f r a m e d t o m e a n "Tell m e s o m e thing e n l i g h t e n i n g a b o u t life," t h e a n s w e r m u s t involve t h e k i n d s o f r e v e l a t i o n s that h u m a n b e i n g s f i n d e n l i g h t e n i n g . T h e r e a p p e a r t o b e t w o s p e c i f i c s i i b - q u e s t i o n s t o w h i c h p e o p l e w a n t a n s w e r s , a n d for w h i c h t h e y f i n d a n s w e r s e n l i g h t e n i n g . T h e first c a n b e c a l l e d t h e q u e s t i o n o f t h e p u r p o s e o f life: " W h a t i s t h e p u r p o s e for which h u m a n b e i n g s w e r e p l a c e d o n E a r t h ? Why a r e w e h e r e ? " T h e r e a r e t w o m a j o r c l a s s e s o f a n s w e r s t o t h i s q u e s t i o n : E i t h e r you b e l i e v e in a g o d / s p i r i t / i n t e l l i g e n c e w h o h a d s o m e i d e a , d e s i r e , or Intention in c r e a t i n g t h e world or you b e l i e v e in a p u r e l y m a t e r i a l w o r l d in which it a n d y o u w e r e not c r e a t e d for a n y r e a s o n ; it all j u s t h a p p e n e d as matter and energy interacted according to the laws of nature (which, o n c e life got s t a r t e d , i n c l u d e d t h e p r i n c i p l e s o f D a r w i n i a n e v o l u t i o n ) . R e l i g i o n i s i ill e n s e e n a s a n a n s w e r t o t h e H o l y Q u e s t i o n b e c a u s e m a n y r e l i g i o n s o f f e r

218

'i'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

s u c h c l e a r a n s w e r s t o the s u b - q u e s t i o n o f t h e p u r p o s e o f life. S c i e n c e a n d religion a r e o f t e n s e e n a s a n t a g o n i s t s , a n d , i n d e e d , t h e y b a t t l e over t h e t e a c h i n g o f e v o l u t i o n i n t h e U n i t e d S t a t e s p r e c i s e l y b e c a u s e they o f f e r conflicting answers. T h e s e c o n d s u b - q u e s t i o n i s t h e q u e s t i o n o f p u r p o s e within life: " H o w o u g h t I to live? W h a t s h o u l d I do to h a v e a g o o d , h a p p y , f u l f i l l i n g , a n d meaningful l i f e ? " W h e n p e o p l e a s k t h e H o l y Q u e s t i o n , o n e o f the things they a r e h o p i n g for is a set of p r i n c i p l e s or g o a l s that c a n g u i d e their a c t i o n s a n d give their c h o i c e s m e a n i n g or v a l u e . ( T h a t is why t h e f o r m of the answer in the M o n t y Python m o v i e is c o r r e c t : "Try to be n i c e to p e o p l e , avoid e a t i n g fat . . . "). A r i s t o t l e a s k e d a b o u t arete ( e x c e l l e n c e / v i r t u e ) a n d telos ( p u r p o s e / g o a l ) , a n d h e u s e d t h e m e t a p h o r that p e o p l e are like a r c h e r s , who n e e d a c l e a r target at w h i c h to a i m . 1 3 W i t h o u t a target or goal, o n e is left with t h e a n i m a l d e f a u l t : J u s t let t h e e l e p h a n t g r a z e o r r o a m w h e r e h e p l e a s e s . A n d b e c a u s e e l e p h a n t s live i n h e r d s , o n e e n d s u p d o i n g what everyone e l s e is doing. Yet t h e h u m a n m i n d h a s a rider, a n d as t h e rider begins to think m o r e abstractly in a d o l e s c e n c e , t h e r e m a y c o m e a t i m e w h e n h e looks a r o u n d , p a s t the e d g e s o f t h e h e r d , a n d a s k s : W h e r e a r e w e all going? A n d why? T h i s i s what h a p p e n e d t o m e m y s e n i o r y e a r o f high school. In my a d o l e s c e n t e x i s t e n t i a l i s m , I c o n f l a t e d t h e two s u b - q u e s t i o n s . Bec a u s e I e m b r a c e d t h e s c i e n t i f i c a n s w e r to the q u e s t i o n of t h e p u r p o s e of life, I t h o u g h t it p r e c l u d e d f i n d i n g p u r p o s e within life. It w a s an e a s y mistake t o m a k e b e c a u s e m a n y religions t e a c h that the t w o q u e s t i o n s are ins e p a r a b l e . I f you believe that G o d c r e a t e d y o u a s part o f H i s p l a n , then you c a n figure out h o w you o u g h t to live if y o u a r e g o i n g to play y o u r part properly. The Purpose Driven Life14 is a f o r t y - d a y c o u r s e that t e a c h e s readers how to f i n d p u r p o s e within life f r o m t h e t h e o l o g i c a l a n s w e r to t h e q u e s t i o n of the p u r p o s e of life. T h e two q u e s t i o n s c a n , however, b e s e p a r a t e d . T h e first a s k s a b o u t life f r o m the o u t s i d e ; it looks at p e o p l e , t h e E a r t h , a n d t h e s t a r s as objects— " W h y do they all e x i s t ? " — a n d is p r o p e r l y a d d r e s s e d by t h e o l o g i a n s , physicists, a n d biologists. T h e s e c o n d q u e s t i o n i s a b o u t life f r o m t h e i n s i d e , a s a subject—"How c a n I find a s e n s e of m e a n i n g a n d p u r p o s e ? " — a n d is properly a d d r e s s e d b y t h e o l o g i a n s , p h i l o s o p h e r s , a n d p s y c h o l o g i s t s . T h e s e c o n d q u e s t i o n is really e m p i r i c a l — a q u e s t i o n of f a c t that c a n be e x a m i n e d by

Ha-ppiness

Comes from Between 22 1

s c i e n t i f i c m e a n s . W h y d o s o m e p e o p l e live lives full o f z e s t , c o m m i t m e n t , a n d m e a n i n g , b u t o t h e r s feel t h a t their lives a r e e m p t y a n d p o i n t l e s s ? F o r I he rest of this c h a p t e r I will ignore t h e p u r p o s e of life a n d s e a r c h f o r t h e f a c t o r s that give rise to a s e n s e of p u r p o s e within life.

L O V E

A N D

W O R K

W h e n a c o m p u t e r b r e a k s , it doesn't fix itself. You h a v e to o p e n it up a n d cio s o m e t h i n g to it, or bring it to a s p e c i a l i s t for repair. T h e c o m p u t e r m e t a p h o r has s o p e r v a d e d o u r t h o u g h t that w e s o m e t i m e s t h i n k a b o u t p e o p l e a s c o m p u t e r s , a n d a b o u t p s y c h o t h e r a p y a s t h e repair s h o p o r a kind o f r e p r o g r a m ining. B u t p e o p l e a r e not c o m p u t e r s , a n d they usually r e c o v e r o n t h e i r o w n from a l m o s t a n y t h i n g that h a p p e n s to t h e m . 1 5 I think a b e t t e r m e t a p h o r is that p e o p l e a r e like p l a n t s . D u r i n g g r a d u a t e s c h o o l , I h a d a s m a l l g a r d e n in front of my h o u s e in P h i l a d e l p h i a . I w a s n o t a very g o o d g a r d e n e r , a n d I traveled a lot i n t h e s u m m e r s , s o s o m e t i m e s m y p l a n t s w i t h e r e d a n d n e a r l y died. B u t t h e a m a z i n g thing I l e a r n e d a b o u t p l a n t s i s that a s l o n g a s t h e y a r e not c o m p l e t e l y d e a d , they will s p r i n g b a c k to full a n d g l o r i o u s l i f e if y o u j u s t get t h e c o n d i t i o n s right. You can't fix a p l a n t ; y o u c a n o n l y g i v e it t h e right c o n d i t i o n s — w a t e r , s u n , a n d s o i l — a n d then wait. I t will d o t h e r e s t . I f p e o p l e a r e like p l a n t s , w h a t a r e t h e c o n d i t i o n s w e n e e d t o f l o u r i s h ? Ill the h a p p i n e s s f o r m u l a f r o m c h a p t e r 5, F l ( a p p i n e s s ) = S ( e t p o i n t ) -+- C o n d i tions) + V ( o l u n t a r y activities), w h a t e x a c t l y i s C ? T h e b i g g e s t p a r t o f C , a s I said i n c h a p t e r 6 , i s love. N o m a n , w o m a n , o r c h i l d i s a n i s l a n d . W e a r e liltrasocial c r e a t u r e s , a n d w e can't b e h a p p y w i t h o u t h a v i n g f r i e n d s a n d s e cure attachments to other people. T h e s e c o n d most important p a r t of C is having a n d p u r s u i n g t h e right g o a l s , i n o r d e r t o c r e a t e s t a t e s o f f l o w a n d e n g a g e m e n t . I n t h e m o d e r n world, p e o p l e c a n f i n d g o a l s a n d f l o w i n m a n y '.cliings, b u t m o s t p e o p l e f i n d m o s t o f their f l o w a t w o r k . 1 6 ( I d e f i n e w o r k luoadly t o i n c l u d e anyone's a n s w e r t o t h e q u e s t i o n " S o , w h a t d o y o u d o ? " " S t u d e n t " a n d " f u l l - t i m e p a r e n t " a r e both g o o d a n s w e r s ) . L o v e a n d w o r k are, lni p e o p l e , o b v i o u s a n a l o g u e s t o w a t e r a n d s u n s h i n e for p l a n t s . 1 7 W h e n F i e n d w a s a s k e d w h a t a n o r m a l p e r s o n s h o u l d b e a b l e t o d o w e l l , h e i s reputed t o have s a i d , " L o v e a n d w o r k . " 1 8 I f t h e r a p y c a n h e l p a p e r s o n d o t h o s e

220

'i'LL

H

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

two things well, it has s u c c e e d e d . In M a s l o w ' s f a m o u s hierarchy of needs, o n c e p e o p l e have satisfied their physical n e e d s ( s u c h as food a n d safety), they m o v e on to n e e d s for love a n d then e s t e e m , which is e a r n e d mostly through one's work. E v e n b e f o r e F r e u d , L e o Tolstoy wrote: " O n e c a n live magnificently in this world, if o n e k n o w s how to work and how to love, to work for the p e r s o n o n e loves and to love one's work." 1 9 H a v i n g earlier said everything I want to say a b o u t love, I will say no m o r e here. B u t I m u s t say m u c h m o r e a b o u t work. W h e n Harry Harlow took his s t u d e n t s to the zoo, they w e r e surprised to find that a p e s a n d m o n k e y s would solve p r o b l e m s j u s t for the f u n of it. Behaviorism h a d no way to explain s u c h u n r e i n f o r c e d behavior. In 1959, the Harvard psychologist R o b e r t W h i t e 2 0 c o n c l u d e d , a f t e r surveying research i n b e h a v i o r i s m a n d p s y c h o a n a l y s i s , that b o t h t h e o r i e s h a d m i s s e d what Harlow had n o t i c e d : the o v e r w h e l m i n g e v i d e n c e that p e o p l e a n d m a n y other m a m m a l s have a b a s i c drive to make things happen. You c a n s e e it in the joy infants take with " b u s y b o x e s , " the activity c e n t e r s that allow them to convert flailing a r m m o v e m e n t s into ringing bells a n d s p i n n i n g wheels. You can s e e it in the toys to w h i c h o l d e r c h i l d r e n gravitate. T h e o n e s I most intensely longed for as a boy w e r e t h o s e that c a u s e d m o v e m e n t or action at a distance: remote-controlled cars, g u n s that shot plastic p e l l e t s , a n d rockets or airplanes of any kind. A n d you c a n s e e it in the lethargy that often overtakes p e o p l e w h o stop working, w h e t h e r from retirement, b e i n g fired, or w i n n i n g a lottery. P s y c h o l o g i s t s h a v e r e f e r r e d to this b a s i c n e e d as a need for c o m p e t e n c e , industry, or mastery. W h i t e called it the " e f f e c t a n c e m o t i v e , " which h e d e f i n e d a s the n e e d o r drive t o d e v e l o p c o m p e t e n c e through interacting with a n d controlling one's e n v i r o n m e n t . E f f e c t a n c e is almost as b a s i c a need as food a n d water, yet it is not a d e f i c i t n e e d , like hunger, that is s a t i s f i e d a n d then d i s a p p e a r s for a few h o u r s . Rather, White said, e f f e c t a n c e is a c o n s t a n t p r e s e n c e in o u r lives: Dealing with the environment m e a n s carrying on a continuing transaction which gradually changes one's relation to the environment. B e c a u s e there is no consummatory climax, satisfaction has to be seen as lying in a considerable series of transactions, in a trend of behavior rather than a goal that is achieved. 2 1

Ha-ppiness Comes from Between

22 1

T h e e f f e c t a n c e motive helps explain the progress principle: We get m o r e pleasure from making progress toward our goals than we do from a c h i e v i n g I h e m b e c a u s e , as S h a k e s p e a r e said, "Joy's s o u l lies in t h e d o i n g . " 2 2 N o w w e c a n look a t t h e c o n d i t i o n s o f m o d e r n work. Karl M a r x ' s c r i t i c i s m o f c a p i t a l i s m 2 3 w a s b a s e d i n part o n his j u s t i f i e d c l a i m that t h e I n d u s t r i a l Revolution h a d d e s t r o y e d the historical r e l a t i o n s h i p b e t w e e n c r a f t s m e n a n d I he g o o d s they p r o d u c e d . A s s e m b l y - l i n e w o r k t u r n e d p e o p l e into c o g s in a g i a n t m a c h i n e , a n d t h e m a c h i n e didn't c a r e a b o u t w o r k e r s ' n e e d f o r e f f e c t a n c e . L a t e r r e s e a r c h o n j o b s a t i s f a c t i o n s u p p o r t e d Marx's c r i t i q u e , b u t ndded nuance. In 1964, the sociologists Melvin Kohn and C a r m i S c h o o l e r 2 4 surveyed 3 , 1 0 0 A m e r i c a n m e n a b o u t their j o b s a n d f o u n d t h a t t h e k e y t o u n d e r s t a n d i n g w h i c h j o b s w e r e s a t i s f y i n g w a s w h a t they c a l l e d " o c c u p a tional self d i r e c t i o n . " M e n w h o w e r e closely s u p e r v i s e d i n j o b s o f low c o m plexity a n d m u c h routine s h o w e d t h e h i g h e s t d e g r e e o f a l i e n a t i o n ( f e e l i n g p o w e r l e s s , d i s s a t i s f i e d , a n d s e p a r a t e d f r o m t h e work). M e n w h o h a d m o r e latitude i n d e c i d i n g h o w they a p p r o a c h e d work that w a s v a r i e d a n d c h a l lenging t e n d e d t o enjoy their work m u c h m o r e . W h e n w o r k e r s h a d o e c u p a lional self-direction, their work w a s o f t e n satisfying. M o r e r e c e n t r e s e a r c h f i n d s that m o s t p e o p l e a p p r o a c h their w o r k i n o n e ol three w a y s : as a j o b , a career, or a c a l l i n g . 2 5 If y o u s e e y o u r w o r k as a j o b , you do it only for t h e money, you look at t h e c l o c k f r e q u e n t l y w h i l e d r e a m ing a b o u t t h e w e e k e n d a h e a d , a n d y o u p r o b a b l y p u r s u e h o b b i e s , w h i c h s a t isfy your e f f e c t a n c e n e e d s m o r e thoroughly than d o e s your w o r k . I f y o u s e e yi>ur w o r k as a career, y o u h a v e larger g o a l s of a d v a n c e m e n t , p r o m o t i o n , a n d prestige. T h e p u r s u i t o f t h e s e g o a l s o f t e n e n e r g i z e s y o u , a n d y o u s o m e t i m e s l a k e w o r k h o m e with y o u b e c a u s e you w a n t t o get t h e j o b d o n e properly. Yet, at t i m e s , y o u w o n d e r why y o u work so hard. You might o c c a s i o n a l l y s e e y o u r work a s a rat r a c e w h e r e p e o p l e a r e c o m p e t i n g for the s a k e o f c o m p e t i n g . I f you s e e your work as a calling, however, y o u f i n d your work i n t r i n s i c a l l y f u l filling—you a r e not d o i n g i t t o a c h i e v e s o m e t h i n g e l s e . You s e e your w o r k a s c o n t r i b u t i n g to t h e greater g o o d or as p l a y i n g a role in s o m e l a r g e r e n t e r p r i s e the worth o f w h i c h s e e m s o b v i o u s t o y o u . You h a v e f r e q u e n t e x p e r i e n c e s o f flow d u r i n g t h e work day, a n d you n e i t h e r look forward to " q u i t t i n g t i m e " nor feel t h e d e s i r e t o s h o u t , " T h a n k G o d it's Friday!" You w o u l d c o n t i n u e t o work, p e r h a p s e v e n w i t h o u t pay, if y o u s u d d e n l y b e c a m e very wealthy.

222

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

You might think that-blue-collar workers have j o b s , m a n a g e r s have careers, and the m o r e r e s p e c t e d p r o f e s s i o n a l s (doctors, scientists, clergy) have callings. Although there is s o m e truth to that expectation, we c a n nonetheless p a r a p h r a s e M a r c u s A u r e l i u s a n d say, "Work itself is but what you d e e m it." Amy Wrzesniewski, a psychologist at N e w York University, finds all three orientations represented in a l m o s t every o c c u p a t i o n s h e h a s e x a m i n e d . 2 6 In a study of hospital workers, for e x a m p l e , s h e f o u n d that the janitors who c l e a n e d bed p a n s and m o p p e d up v o m i t — p e r h a p s the lowest-ranking j o b in a h o s p i t a l — s o m e t i m e s s a w t h e m s e l v e s as part of a t e a m w h o s e goal was to heal people. T h e y went beyond the m i n i m u m r e q u i r e m e n t s of their j o b description, for e x a m p l e , by trying to brighten up the r o o m s of very sick patients o r a n t i c i p a t i n g t h e n e e d s o f t h e d o c t o r s a n d n u r s e s rather t h a n waiting for orders. In so doing, they i n c r e a s e d their own o c c u p a t i o n a l selfdirection a n d c r e a t e d for t h e m s e l v e s j o b s that s a t i s f i e d their e f f e c t a n c e needs. T h o s e janitors w h o worked this way s a w their work as a calling and enjoyed it far m o r e than t h o s e who s a w it as a j o b . T h e optimistic c o n c l u s i o n c o m i n g out of r e s e a r c h in positive psychology i s that m o s t p e o p l e c a n get m o r e s a t i s f a c t i o n f r o m their work. T h e first step is to know your s t r e n g t h s . T a k e the s t r e n g t h s t e s t 2 7 a n d then c h o o s e work that allows you to u s e your s t r e n g t h s every day, thereby giving yourself at least s c a t t e r e d m o m e n t s of flow. If you are s t u c k in a j o b that doesn't m a t c h your strengths, r e c a s t a n d r e f r a m e your j o b so that it d o e s . M a y b e you'll have to do s o m e extra work for a while, like the hospital janitors who were a c t i n g on strengths of k i n d n e s s , loving, e m o t i o n a l intelligence, or citizenship. If you can e n g a g e your s t r e n g t h s , you'll find m o r e gratification in work; if you find gratification, you'll shift into a m o r e positive, a p p r o a c h oriented m i n d s e t ; and in s u c h a m i n d s e t it will be e a s i e r for you to s e e the bigger p i c t u r e 2 8 — t h e contribution you are m a k i n g to a larger e n t e r p r i s e — within which your j o b might turn into a calling. Work at its best, then, is a b o u t c o n n e c t i o n , e n g a g e m e n t , and c o m m i t ment. As the p o e t Kahlil G i b r a n s a i d , "Work is love m a d e visible." E c h o i n g Tolstoy, he gave e x a m p l e s of work d o n e with love: It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth.

Ha-ppiness

Comes from Between 22 1

It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house. It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit.29

L o v e a n d w o r k a r e c r u c i a l for h u m a n h a p p i n e s s b e c a u s e , w h e n d o n e well, they d r a w u s o u t o f o u r s e l v e s a n d into c o n n e c t i o n with p e o p l e a n d projects beyond ourselves. H a p p i n e s s c o m e s from getting these c o n n e c tions right. H a p p i n e s s c o m e s n o t j u s t f r o m within, a s B u d d h a a n d E p i c t e 11is s u p p o s e d , or e v e n f r o m a c o m b i n a t i o n of internal a n d e x t e r n a l f a c t o r s (as I s u g g e s t e d a s a temporary-fix a t t h e e n d o f c h a p t e r 5). T h e c o r r e c t v e r sion o f t h e h a p p i n e s s h y p o t h e s i s , a s I'll i l l u s t r a t e below, i s that h a p p i n e s s i n i n e s f r o m between.

VITAL

E N G A G E M E N T

I'lants thrive u n d e r p a r t i c u l a r c o n d i t i o n s , a n d b i o l o g i s t s c a n n o w tell u s how s u n l i g h t a n d w a t e r get c o n v e r t e d into p l a n t growth. P e o p l e thrive u n der p a r t i c u l a r c o n d i t i o n s , a n d p s y c h o l o g i s t s c a n n o w tell u s h o w love a n d work get c o n v e r t e d into h a p p i n e s s a n d a s e n s e o f m e a n i n g . T h e m a n w h o f o u n d flow, Mihalyi C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i , thinks big. N o t c o n tent to s t u d y m o m e n t s of flow (by b e e p i n g p e o p l e several times a day), he w a n t e d to k n o w w h a t role flow plays in life as a w h o l e , particularly in t h e lives o f c r e a t i v e p e o p l e . S o h e t u r n e d t o t h e e x p e r t s : p a r a g o n s o f s u c c e s s i n I lie arts a n d s c i e n c e s . H e a n d his s t u d e n t s have interviewed h u n d r e d s o f Mii c c s s f u l p a i n t e r s , d a n c e r s , p o e t s , n o v e l i s t s , p h y s i c i s t s , b i o l o g i s t s , a n d p s y i h o l o g i s t s — a l l p e o p l e w h o s e e m t o h a v e c r a f t e d lives for t h e m s e l v e s built illiHind a c o n s u m i n g p a s s i o n . T h e s e a r e a d m i r a b l e lives, d e s i r a b l e lives, t h e •.oil t h a t m a n y y o u n g p e o p l e d r e a m o f h a v i n g w h e n t h e y l o o k t o t h e s e p e o p l e a s role m o d e l s . C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i w a n t e d t o k n o w h o w s u c h lives h a p p e n e d . H o w d o e s a p e r s o n c o m e to m a k e s u c h a c o m m i t m e n t to a f i e l d •aiiI then b e c o m e so extraordinarily c r e a t i v e ? I lis i n t e r v i e w s ' s h o w e d that every p a t h is u n i q u e , yet m o s t of t h e m led in I h e s a m e d i r e c t i o n : f r o m initial i n t e r e s t a n d e n j o y m e n t , with m o m e n t s o f

224

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

flow, through a relationship to p e o p l e , p r a c t i c e s , and v a l u e s that d e e p e n e d over m a n y years, thereby e n a b l i n g even longer p e r i o d s of flow. C s i k s z e n t mihalyi a n d his s t u d e n t s , particularly J e a n n e N a k a m u r a , have s t u d i e d the e n d state of this d e e p e n i n g p r o c e s s a n d c a l l e d it "vital e n g a g e m e n t , " which they d e f i n e as "a relationship to the world that is c h a r a c t e r i z e d both by exp e r i e n c e s of flow (enjoyed a b s o r p t i o n ) a n d by m e a n i n g ( s u b j e c t i v e signific a n c e ) . " 3 0 Vital e n g a g e m e n t is a n o t h e r w a y of saying that work has b e c o m e "love m a d e visible"; N a k a m u r a a n d C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i e v e n d e s c r i b e vital e n g a g e m e n t in words that c o u l d a l m o s t have b e e n taken from a r o m a n c e novel: " T h e r e is a strong felt c o n n e c t i o n b e t w e e n self a n d o b j e c t ; a writer is 'swept away' by a project, a s c i e n t i s t is ' m e s m e r i z e d by the s t a r s . ' T h e relationship has s u b j e c t i v e m e a n i n g ; work is a 'calling.'" 3 1 Vital e n g a g e m e n t is a s u b t l e c o n c e p t , a n d the first t i m e I taught a c o u r s e on positive psychology, the s t u d e n t s weren't getting it, I thought that an exa m p l e would help, so I called on a w o m a n w h o had b e e n q u i e t in c l a s s , but who had o n c e m e n t i o n e d her interest in h o r s e s . I a s k e d K a t h e r i n e to tell us how s h e got involved in riding. S h e d e s c r i b e d her c h i l d h o o d love of animals, a n d her interest in h o r s e s in particular. At the a g e of ten s h e begged her parents to let her take riding l e s s o n s , a n d they a g r e e d . S h e rode for fun at first,.but soon began riding in c o m p e t i t i o n s . W h e n it c a m e time to c h o o s e a college, s h e c h o s e the University of Virginia in part b e c a u s e it had an excellent riding t e a m . Katherine w a s shy, a n d , a f t e r n a r r a t i n g t h e s e b a s i c f a c t s , s h e s t o p p e d talking. S h e had told us a b o u t her-increasing c o m m i t m e n t to riding, but vital e n g a g e m e n t is m o r e than j u s t c o m m i t m e n t . I p r o b e d further. 1 asked whether s h e c o u l d tell us the n a m e s of s p e c i f i c horses f r o m previous centuries. S h e smiled a n d said, a l m o s t as if a d m i t t i n g a s e c r e t , that s h e had begun to read a b o u t horses w h e n s h e b e g a n to ride, a n d that s h e knew a great deal a b o u t the history of h o r s e s a n d a b o u t f a m o u s h o r s e s in history. I a s k e d whether s h e had m a d e f r i e n d s through riding, a n d s h e told us that most of her c l o s e friends were " h o r s e f r i e n d s , " p e o p l e s h e k n e w from horse s h o w s and f r o m riding together. A s s h e talked, s h e grew m o r e a n i m a t e d and confident. It was as clear f r o m her d e m e a n o r as from her words th;it K a t h e r i n e h a d f o u n d vital e n g a g e m e n t i n riding. J u s t a s N a k a m u r a and Csikszentmihalyi had said, her initial interest grew into an ever-deepening

Ha-ppiness Comes from Between 22 1 i c l a l i o n s h i p , a n e v e r - t h i c k e n i n g w e b c o n n e c t i n g h e r t o a n activity, a t r a d i tion, a n d a c o m m u n i t y . R i d i n g for K a t h e r i n e h a d b e c o m e a s o u r c e of flow, |oy, identity, e f f e c t a n c e , a n d r e l a t e d n e s s . I t w a s p a r t o f h e r a n s w e r t o t h e i|iiestion of p u r p o s e within life. Vital e n g a g e m e n t d o e s not r e s i d e in t h e p e r s o n or in t h e e n v i r o n m e n t ; it exists in the relationship between the two. T h e w e b of m e a n i n g t h a t e n g u l f e d Katherine g r e w a n d t h i c k e n e d gradually a n d organically, over m a n y y e a r s . ViInl e n g a g e m e n t is what I w a s m i s s i n g d u r i n g my s e n i o r year of h i g h s c h o o l . I had love, a n d I h a d work (in t h e f o r m of r e a s o n a b l y c h a l l e n g i n g h i g h s c h o o l i l a s s e s ) , but my work w a s not part of a larger p r o j e c t b e y o n d g e t t i n g i n t o c o l lege. In f a c t , it w a s precisely w h e n t h e c o l l e g e p r o j e c t w a s e n d i n g — w h e n I I I I i d sent off my c o l l e g e a p p l i c a t i o n s a n d w a s in l i m b o , not k n o w i n g w h e r e I would go n e x t — t h a t I b e c a m e paralyzed by t h e Holy Q u e s t i o n . ( l e t t i n g the right r e l a t i o n s h i p b e t w e e n y o u a n d your w o r k i s n o t e n t i r e l y u p t o you. S o m e o c c u p a t i o n s c o m e r e a d y - m a d e for vital e n g a g e m e n t ; o t h e r s make it difficult. As market forces were reshaping many p r o f e s s i o n s in the United States during the 1 9 9 0 s — m e d i c i n e , journalism, s c i e n c e , e d u c a tion, a n d the a r t s — p e o p l e i n t h o s e f i e l d s b e g a n t o c o m p l a i n t h a t t h e q u a l ity o f w o r k a n d t h e q u a l i t y o f life w e r e s o m e t i m e s c o m p r o m i s e d b y t h e l e l e n t l e s s drive t o i n c r e a s e p r o f i t s . C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i t e a m e d u p w i t h t w o other l e a d i n g p s y c h o l o g i s t s — H o w a r d G a r d n e r a t H a r v a r d , a n d W i l l i a m D a mon a t S t a n f o r d — t o s t u d y t h e s e c h a n g e s , a n d t o s e e why s o m e p r o f e s s i o n s M-emcd healthy while o t h e r s w e r e g r o w i n g s i c k . P i c k i n g t h e f i e l d s o f g e n e t l i s a n d j o u r n a l i s m a s c a s e s t u d i e s , they c o n d u c t e d d o z e n s o f i n t e r v i e w s with p e o p l e i n e a c h field. T h e i r c o n c l u s i o n 3 2 i s a s p r o f o u n d a s i t i s s i m p l e : It's a m a t t e r of a l i g n m e n t . W h e n d o i n g good ( d o i n g h i g h - q u a l i t y w o r k t h a t p i o d u c e s s o m e t h i n g o f u s e t o o t h e r s ) m a t c h e s u p with d o i n g w e l l ( a c h i e v ing wealth a n d p r o f e s s i o n a l a d v a n c e m e n t ) , a field is healthy. G e n e t i c s , for e x a m p l e , i s a h e a l t h y field b e c a u s e all p a r t i e s involved r e s p e c t a n d r e w a r d I lie very b e s t s c i e n c e . E v e n t h o u g h p h a r m a c e u t i c a l c o m p a n i e s a n d m a r k e t Ion c s w e r e b e g i n n i n g t o inject vast a m o u n t s o f m o n e y i n t o u n i v e r s i t y rexe.iieh labs i n t h e 1 9 9 0 s , the s c i e n t i s t s w h o m C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i , G a r d n e r , •iticI D a m o n i n t e r v i e w e d d i d n o t b e l i e v e t h e y w e r e b e i n g a s k e d t o l o w e r their s t a n d a r d s , c h e a t , lie, or sell their s o u l s . G e n e t i c i s t s b e l i e v e d .that t h e i r held w a s in a g o l d e n a g e in w h i c h e x c e l l e n t work b r o u g h t g r e a t b e n e f i t s to

226

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

the general public, the p h a r m a c e u t i c a l c o m p a n i e s , the universities, and the scientists themselves. Journalists, on the other h a n d , were in trouble. M o s t of t h e m had g o n e into j o u r n a l i s m with high i d e a l s — r e s p e c t for the truth, a d e s i r e to m a k e a d i f f e r e n c e in the world, and a firm belief that a f r e e p r e s s is a crucial support of democracy. B u t by the 1 9 9 0 s , the d e c l i n e of family-run n e w s p a p e r s and the rise of corporate m e d i a e m p i r e s had c o n v e r t e d A m e r i c a n journalism into j u s t another profit c e n t e r w h e r e the only thing that m a t t e r e d was will it sell, and will it outsell our c o m p e t i t o r s ? G o o d j o u r n a l i s m w a s somet i m e s bad for b u s i n e s s . S c a r e stories, e x a g g e r a t i o n , t r u m p e d u p conflict, and sexual s c a n d a l , all c u t up into tiny d i g e s t i b l e p i e c e s , w e r e o f t e n m o r e profitable. M a n y j o u r n a l i s t s w h o w o r k e d for t h e s e e m p i r e s c o n f e s s e d t o having a s e n s e of b e i n g forced to sell out a n d violate their own moral standards. T h e i r world w a s u n a l i g n e d , a n d they c o u l d not b e c o m e vitally engaged in the larger b u t ignoble m i s s i o n of g a i n i n g m a r k e t s h a r e at any cost.

..

C R O S S - L E V E L

C O H E R E N C E

T h e word " c o h e r e n c e " literally m e a n s h o l d i n g or sticking together, but it is usually u s e d to refer to a s y s t e m , an i d e a , or a worldview w h o s e parts fit together in a c o n s i s t e n t a n d e f f i c i e n t way. C o h e r e n t things work well: A coherent worldview can explain almost anything, while an incoherent worldview is h o b b l e d by internal c o n t r a d i c t i o n s . A c o h e r e n t p r o f e s s i o n , s u c h as g e n e t i c s , c a n get on with the b u s i n e s s of g e n e t i c s , while an incoherent p r o f e s s i o n , like j o u r n a l i s m , s p e n d s a lot of time on self-analysis and self-criticism. 3 3 M o s t p e o p l e k n o w there's a p r o b l e m , but they can't agree on what to do a b o u t it. W h e n e v e r a system c a n be analyzed at m u l t i p l e levels, a s p e c i a l kind of c o h e r e n c e o c c u r s w h e n the levels m e s h a n d m u t u a l l y interlock. W e saw this cross-level c o h e r e n c e in the analysis of personality: If your lower-level traits m a t c h up with your c o p i n g m e c h a n i s m s , w h i c h in turn a r e consistent with your life story, your personality is well integrated a n d you c a n get on with the b u s i n e s s of living. W h e n t h e s e levels do not c o h e r e , you are likely

Ha-ppiness

Comes from Between 22 1

l o b e torn b y internal c o n t r a d i c t i o n s a n d n e u r o t i c c o n f l i c t s . 3 4 You m i g h t n e e d adversity t o k n o c k y o u r s e l f into a l i g n m e n t . A n d i f y o u d o a c h i e v e c o h e r e n c e , the m o m e n t w h e n t h i n g s c o m e t o g e t h e r m a y b e o n e o f t h e m o s t profound of your life. Like the moviegoer who later finds out what s h e m i s s e d i n t h e first h a l f hour, y o u r life will s u d d e n l y m a k e m o r e s e n s e , f i n d i n g c o h e r e n c e a c r o s s levels f e e l s like e n l i g h t e n m e n t , 3 5 a n d i t i s c r u c i a l for a n s w e r i n g the q u e s t i o n o f p u r p o s e w i t h i n life. P e o p l e a r e m u l t i l e v e l s y s t e m s in a n o t h e r way: We a r e physical o b j e c t s ( b o d i e s a n d b r a i n s ) f r o m w h i c h minds s o m e h o w e m e r g e ; a n d f r o m o u r m i n d s , s o m e h o w societies a n d cultures f o r m . 3 6 To u n d e r s t a n d o u r s e l v e s f u l l y w e m u s t s t u d y all t h r e e l e v e l s — p h y s i c a l , p s y c h o l o g i c a l , a n d s o c i o c u l t u r a l . There h a s l o n g b e e n a division o f a c a d e m i c labor: B i o l o g i s t s s t u d i e d t h e brain a s a physical o b j e c t , p s y c h o l o g i s t s s t u d i e d the m i n d , a n d s o c i o l o g i s t s a n d a n t h r o p o l o g i s t s s t u d i e d t h e socially c o n s t r u c t e d e n v i r o n m e n t s w i t h i n w h i c h m i n d s d e v e l o p a n d f u n c t i o n . B u t a division o f l a b o r i s p r o d u c t i v e only w h e n the t a s k s a r e c o h e r e n t — w h e n all lines o f w o r k e v e n t u a l l y c o m b i n e t o m a k e s o m e t h i n g g r e a t e r t h a n t h e s u m o f its p a r t s . F o r m u c h o f t h e twentieth c e n t u r y that didn't h a p p e n — e a c h field ignored t h e o t h e r s a n d f o c u s e d o n its o w n q u e s t i o n s . B u t n o w a d a y s c r o s s - d i s c i p l i n a r y w o r k i s f l o u r ishing, s p r e a d i n g o u t f r o m t h e m i d d l e level ( p s y c h o l o g y ) a l o n g b r i d g e s (or p e r h a p s l a d d e r s ) d o w n t o the p h y s i c a l level (for e x a m p l e , t h e f i e l d o f c o g n i tive n e u r o s c i e n c e ) a n d u p t o t h e s o c i o c u l t u r a l level (for e x a m p l e , c u l t u r a l psychology). T h e s c i e n c e s are linking u p , g e n e r a t i n g c r o s s - l e v e l c o h e r e n c e , a n d , like m a g i c , big n e w i d e a s a r e b e g i n n i n g t o e m e r g e . I lere is one of the m o s t profound ideas to c o m e from the ongoing synthesis:

People gain a sense of meaning when their lives cohere across the three lev-

i*/s of their existence.37 T h e b e s t w a y I c a n illustrate this i d e a is to t a k e y o u b a c k t o B h u b a n e s w a r , India. I h a v e a l r e a d y e x p l a i n e d t h e l o g i c o f purity a n d pollution, s o you u n d e r s t a n d w h y H i n d u s b a t h e b e f o r e m a k i n g a n o f f e r i n g l o Clod, a n d why they a r e c a r e f u l a b o u t w h a t they t o u c h o n t h e way t o t h e t e m p l e . You u n d e r s t a n d why c o n t a c t with a d o g , a m e n s t r u a t i n g w o m a n , or a p e r s o n of low c a s t e c a n r e n d e r a p e r s o n of high c a s t e t e m p o r a r i l y i m p u r e H I U L unfit to m a k e a n o f f e r i n g . B u t you u n d e r s t a n d all this only at t h e p s y chological level a n d , e v e n t h e n , only as a s e t of p r o p o s i t i o n s g r a s p e d by t h e

228

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

rider and stored away as explicit k n o w l e d g e . You do not feel polluted after touching the arm of a w o m a n you know to he m e n s t r u a t i n g ; you do not even know what it would feel like to feel p o l l u t e d in that way. S u p p o s e , however, that you grow up as a B r a h m i n in B h u b a n e s w a r . Every day of your life you have to respect the invisible lines separating p u r e from profane s p a c e s , and you have to k e e p track of people's fluctuating levels of purity b e f o r e you c a n t o u c h t h e m or t a k e anything from their h a n d s . You bathe several times a day—short baths or brief i m m e r s i o n s in sacred w a t e r — always b e f o r e m a k i n g a religious o f f e r i n g . A n d your o f f e r i n g s are not j u s t words: You actually give s o m e f o o d to G o d (the priest t o u c h e s your offering to the image, icon, or object in the inner s a n c t u m ) , which is returned to you so that you may eat what G o d left over. E a t i n g someone's leftovers shows a willingness to take in that person's saliva, w h i c h d e m o n s t r a t e s both intimacy and subordination in Bhubaneswar. Eating G o d ' s leftovers is an a c t of intimacy, and subordination, too. After twenty y e a r s of t h e s e p r a c t i c e s , your understanding of H i n d u rituals is visceral. Your explicit u n d e r s t a n d i n g is supported by a hundred physical feelings: shivering during the morning bath at sunrise; the pleasure of washing off d u s t and p u t t i n g on clean clothes after a bath on a hot afternoon; the feeling of bare feet on cool stone floors as you approach the inner s a n c t u m ; the smell of i n c e n s e ; the s o u n d of m u m b l e d prayers in Sanskrit, the bland (pure) taste of rice that has b e e n returned to you from G o d . In all t h e s e ways, your u n d e r s t a n d i n g at the p s y c h o l o g i c a l level has spread down to your physical e m b o d i m e n t , a n d w h e n the c o n c e p t u a l and visceral levels connect, the rituals feel right to you. Your understanding of ritual s p r e a d s up to the sociocultural level, too. You are i m m e r s e d in a 4,000-year-old religious tradition that provided most of the stories you heard as a child, many of which involved plot e l e m e n t s of purity and pollution. H i n d u i s m structures your social s p a c e through a c a s t e system b a s e d on the purity and pollution of various o c c u p a t i o n s , a n d it structures your physical s p a c e with the topography of purity and pollution that keeps temples, kitchens, and right h a n d s p u r e . H i n d u i s m a l s o gives you a cosmology in which souls reincarnate by moving up or down on the vertical dimension of divinity. So every time you m a k e an offering to G o d , the three levels of your existence are all aligned and mutually interlocking. Your physical feel-

Ha-ppiness

Comes from Between 22 1

Ings a n d c o n s c i o u s t h o u g h t s c o h e r e with your a c t i o n s , a n d all of it m a k e s p e r f e c t s e n s e within t h e larger c u l t u r e o f w h i c h y o u are a part. A s you m a k e mi o f f e r i n g to G o d , you don't think, " W h a t d o e s this all m e a n ? W h y am I d o i n g this?" T h e e x p e r i e n c e o f m e a n i n g f u l n e s s j u s t h a p p e n s . I t e m e r g e s a u t o matically f r o m cross-level c o h e r e n c e . O n c e again, h a p p i n e s s — o r a s e n s e o f m e a n i n g f u l n e s s that imparts r i c h n e s s t o e x p e r i e n c e — c o m e s f r o m b e t w e e n . In c o n t r a s t , think a h o u t t h e last e m p t y ritual y o u t o o k p a r t in. M a y b e y o u were a s k e d t o j o i n h a n d s a n d c h a n t with a g r o u p o f s t r a n g e r s w h i l e a t t e n d ing a w e d d i n g c e r e m o n y for a friend w h o is of a d i f f e r e n t religion. P e r h a p s y o u took part i n a n e w a g e c e r e m o n y that b o r r o w e d e l e m e n t s f r o m N a t i v e A m e r i c a n s , a n c i e n t C e l t s , a n d T i b e t a n B u d d h i s t s . You p r o b a b l y u n d e r s t o o d the s y m b o l i s m of the r i t u a l — u n d e r s t o o d it c o n s c i o u s l y a n d explicitly in t h e way that the rider is so g o o d at d o i n g . Yet y o u felt s e l f - c o n s c i o u s , m a y b e even silly, while d o i n g it. S o m e t h i n g w a s m i s s i n g . Vou can't j u s t invent a g o o d ritual t h r o u g h r e a s o n i n g a b o u t s y m b o l i s m . Yc u i n e e d a tradition within w h i c h the s y m b o l s are e m b e d d e d , a n d y o u n e e d t o invoke bodily f e e l i n g s that h a v e s o m e a p p r o p r i a t e a s s o c i a t i o n s . T h e n y o u n e e d a c o m m u n i t y to e n d o r s e a n d p r a c t i c e it over t i m e . To t h e e x t e n t t h a t a c o m m u n i t y h a s m a n y rituals that c o h e r e a c r o s s t h e three l e v e l s , p e o p l e i n t h e c o m m u n i t y a r e likely t o f e e l t h e m s e l v e s c o n n e c t e d t o t h e c o m m u n i t y a n d its traditions. I f the c o m m u n i t y a l s o o f f e r s g u i d a n c e o n h o w t o live a n d what i s o f value, then p e o p l e a r e unlikely t o w o n d e r a b o u t t h e q u e s t i o n o f p u r p o s e within life. M e a n i n g a n d p u r p o s e s i m p l y e m e r g e f r o m t h e c o h e r e n c e , a n d p e o p l e c a n get o n with the b u s i n e s s o f living. B u t c o n f l i c t , p a r a l y sis. a n d a n o m i e a r e likely w h e n a c o m m u n i t y fails to p r o v i d e c o h e r e n c e , or, w o r s e , w h e n its p r a c t i c e s c o n t r a d i c t p e o p l e ' s g u t f e e l i n g s o r t h e i r s h a r e d mythology a n d ideology. ( M a r t i n L u t h e r King, Jr., f o r c e d A m e r i c a n s t o c o n f r o n t c o n t r a d i c t i o n s b e t w e e n p r a c t i c e s o f racial s e g r e g a t i o n a n d i d e a l s a b o u t e q u a l i t y a n d f r e e d o m . M a n y p e o p l e didn't like that.) P e o p l e don't n e c e s s a r i l y need to find m e a n i n g in their national i d e n t i t y — i n d e e d , in l a r g e a n d d i v e r s e nations s u c h a s t h e U n i t e d S t a t e s , R u s s i a , a n d I n d i a , religion m i g h t h o l d g r e a t e r p r o m i s e for cross-level c o h e r e n c e a n d p u r p o s e within life. R e l i g i o n s d o s u c h a g o o d j o b o f c r e a t i n g c o h e r e n c e , i n f a c t , that s o m e s c h o l a r s 3 8 b e lieve they w e r e d e s i g n e d for that p u r p o s e .

230

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

G O D

G I V E S

U S

H I V E S

W h e n I first hegan to study morality as a philosophy m a j o r in college, my father said, "Why aren't you studying religion, too? H o w c o u l d p e o p l e have morality without G o d ? " As a y o u n g atheist with a strong s e n s e of morality (well over the border into self-righteousness), I w a s i n s u l t e d by my father's suggestion. Morality, I thought, w a s a b o u t relationships a m o n g p e o p l e ; it w a s a b o u t a c o m m i t m e n t to doing the right thing, even w h e n it g o e s against your self-interest. Religion, I thought, w a s a b u n c h of rules that m a d e no s e n s e a n d stories that could never have h a p p e n e d , written down by p e o p l e and then falsely attributed to a supernatural entity. I now believe my father w a s right—morality h a s its origins in religion— b u t not for the r e a s o n s he believed. Morality a n d religion b o t h o c c u r in s o m e form in all h u m a n c u l t u r e s 3 9 a n d are a l m o s t always both intertwined with the values, identity, and daily life of the c u l t u r e . A n y o n e w h o w a n t s a full, cross-level a c c o u n t of h u m a n n a t u r e , a n d of how h u m a n b e i n g s find p u r p o s e a n d m e a n i n g in their lives, m u s t m a k e that a c c o u n t c o h e r e with what is known a b o u t morality a n d religion. F r o m an evolutionary perspective, morality is a p r o b l e m . all a b o u t survival of t h e fittest, then why do p e o p l e h e l p m u c h ? Why do they give to charity, risk their lives to s a v e volunteer to fight in wars? Darwin thought the a n s w e r w a s evolves for the good of the group:

If evolution is e a c h o t h e r so s t r a n g e r s , and e a s y : Altruism

There can be no doubt that a tribe including many m e m b e r s who, from possessing in a high degree the spirit of patriotism, fidelity, obedience, courage, and sympathy, were always ready to aid one another, and to sacrifice themselves for the c o m m o n good would be victorious over most other tribes, and this would be natural selection. 4 0 Darwin p r o p o s e d that groups c o m p e t e , j u s t like individuals, a n d therefore psychological features that m a k e g r o u p s s u c c e s s f u l — s u c h as patriotism, courage, and altruism toward fellow group m e m b e r s — s h o u l d spread like any other trait. B u t o n c e evolutionary theorists b e g a n t e s t i n g predic-

Ha-ppiness Comes from Between 22 1 lions rigorously, u s i n g c o m p u t e r s to m o d e l the interactions of i n d i v i d u a l s who u s e various strategies ( s u c h as p u r e s e l f i s h n e s s v e r s u s tit for tat), t h e y <|uickly c a m e to a p p r e c i a t e the s e r i o u s n e s s of the "free-rider p r o b l e m . " In groups in which p e o p l e m a k e s a c r i f i c e s for the c o m m o n g o o d , an i n d i v i d u a l who m a k e s no s u c h s a c r i f i c e s — w h o in e f f e c t takes a free ride on the b a c k s of the a l t r u i s t s — c o m e s out a h e a d . In the cold logic of t h e s e c o m p u t e r s i m ulations, whoever a c c u m u l a t e s the m o s t r e s o u r c e s i n o n e g e n e r a t i o n g o e s on to p r o d u c e m o r e children in the next, so s e l f i s h n e s s is a d a p t i v e but a l t r u ism is not. T h e only solution to the free-rider p r o b l e m is to m a k e a l t r u i s m pay, a n d two b a c k - t o - b a c k breakthroughs in evolutionary t h i n k i n g s h o w e d how to do that. In c h a p t e r 3 I p r e s e n t e d kin a l t r u i s m ( b e n i c e to t h o s e w h o share your g e n e s ) a n d reciprocal altruism (be n i c e to t h o s e w h o might r e c i p rocate in the f u t u r e ) as two s t e p s on the way to ultrasociality. O n c e t h e s e two solutions to the free-rider p r o b l e m were p u b l i s h e d (in 1 9 6 6 a n d 1 9 7 1 , respectively), 4 1 m o s t evolutionary theorists c o n s i d e r e d the p r o b l e m of a l t r u ism solved a n d essentially d e c l a r e d group selection illegal. A l t r u i s m c o u l d he explained away as a special kind of s e l f i s h n e s s , a n d a n y o n e w h o f o l l o w e d Darwin in thinking that evolution worked for the "good of t h e g r o u p " instead of the good of the individual (or better yet, the good of t h e g e n e ) , 4 2 was d i s m i s s e d as a m u s h y - h e a d e d romantic. T h e ban o n g r o u p selection h a d o n e loophole. For c r e a t u r e s that really d o c o m p e t e , live, a n d d i e a s a g r o u p , s u c h a s t h e o t h e r u l t r a s o c i a l a n i m a l s (bees, w a s p s , ants, termites, a n d n a k e d m o l e rats), g r o u p s e l e c t i o n e x p l a n a tions were appropriate. T h e r e is a real s e n s e in which a b e e h i v e or an a n t colony is a single o r g a n i s m , e a c h insect a cell in t h e larger body. 4 3 L i k e s t e m cells, ants c a n take different physical f o r m s t o p e r f o r m s p e c i f i c f u n c t i o n s n e e d e d by the colony: small b o d i e s to c a r e for larva, larger b o d i e s with s p e cial a p p e n d a g e s to f o r a g e for food or fight off a t t a c k e r s . L i k e c e l l s in the i m m u n e system, a n t s will sacrifice t h e m s e l v e s to protect the colony: In o n e s p e c i e s of M a l a y s i a n a n t , 4 4 m e m b e r s of the soldier c a s t e s t o r e a sticky s u b s t a n c e j u s t u n d e r their exoskeletons. In the m i d s t of battle, they e x p l o d e their bodies, turning t h e m s e l v e s into s u i c i d e b o m b e r s t o g u m u p their a d versaries. For a n t s a n d b e e s , the q u e e n is not the brain; s h e is t h e ovary, a n d I he entire hive or colony c a n be s e e n as a body s h a p e d by n a t u r a l s e l e c t i o n

232

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

to protect the ovary and help it create m o r e hives or colonies. B e c a u s e all m e m b e r s really are in the s a m e boat, g r o u p selection is not j u s t p e r m i s s i b l e as an explanation; it is mandatory. Might this loophole apply to h u m a n s as well? Do h u m a n s c o m p e t e , live, and die as a group? Tribes a n d ethnic groups do grow a n d spread or f a d e and die out, a n d s o m e t i m e s this p r o c e s s has occurred by genocide. F u r t h e r m o r e , h u m a n societies often have an extraordinary division of labor, so the c o m p a r ison to b e e s and ants is tempting. But as long as e a c h h u m a n b e i n g has the opportunity to reproduce, the evolutionary payoffs for investing in one's own welfare a n d one's own o f f s p r i n g will a l m o s t always e x c e e d the p a y o f f s for contributing to the group; in the long run, selfish traits will therefore spread at the e x p e n s e of altruistic traits. Even during war a n d genocide, w h e n g r o u p interests are m o s t compelling, it is the coward w h o runs a n d hides, rather than joining his c o m r a d e s on the front lines, w h o is most likely to p a s s on his g e n e s to the next generation. Evolutionary theorists have t h e r e f o r e s t o o d united, since the early 1 9 7 0 s , in their belief that group selection simply did not play a role in shaping h u m a n nature. But wait a s e c o n d . T h i s is not an all-or-nothing issue. E v e n if the c o m p e tition of individuals within a g r o u p is the m o s t important p r o c e s s in h u m a n evolution, group selection ( c o m p e t i t i o n between g r o u p s ) c o u l d h a v e played a role too. T h e evolutionary biologist D a v i d S l o a n W i l s o n 4 5 h a s r e c e n d y arg u e d that the b a n i s h m e n t of g r o u p selection theories on the b a s i s of s o m e o v e r s i m p l i f i e d c o m p u t e r m o d e l s f r o m the 1 9 6 0 s w a s o n e o f the b i g g e s t m i s t a k e s in the history of m o d e r n biology. If you m a k e the m o d e l s m o r e realistic, m o r e like real h u m a n beings, g r o u p selection j u m p s right out at you. Wilson points out that h u m a n beings evolve at two levels s i m u l t a n e o u s l y : genetic a n d cultural. T h e s i m p l e m o d e l s of the 1 9 6 0 s worked well for c r e a tures without culture; for t h e m , behavioral traits m u s t all be e n c o d e d in the g e n e s , which are p a s s e d on only a l o n g lines of kinship. But everything a person d o e s is influenced not only by her g e n e s but also by her c u l t u r e , a n d c u l t u r e s evolve, too. B e c a u s e e l e m e n t s of c u l t u r e s h o w variation ( p e o p l e invent n e w things) a n d selection (other p e o p l e do or don't a d o p t t h o s e varia t i o n s ) , cultural traits c a n be analyzed in a D a r w i n i a n f r a m e w o r k 4 6 j u s t as well as physical traits (birds' b e a k s , giraffes' n e c k s ) . C u l t u r a l e l e m e n t s ,

Ha-ppiness

Comes from Between 22 1

however, don't s p r e a d b y t h e slow p r o c e s s o f h a v i n g c h i l d r e n ; t h e y s p r e a d rapidly w h e n e v e r p e o p l e a d o p t a n e w behavior, technology, o r b e l i e f . C u l tural traits c a n e v e n s p r e a d f r o m tribe t o tribe o r n a t i o n t o n a t i o n , a s w h e n t h e p l o u g h , the p r i n t i n g p r e s s , o r reality television p r o g r a m s b e c a m e p o p u lar i n m a n y p l a c e s i n q u i c k s u c c e s s i o n . C u l t u r a l a n d g e n e t i c evolution a r e intertwined. T h e h u m a n c a p a c i t y for c u l t u r e — a s t r o n g t e n d e n c y t o learn f r o m e a c h other, t o t e a c h e a c h o t h e r , a n d to build u p o n w h a t we h a v e l e a r n e d — i s itself a g e n e t i c i n n o v a t i o n t h a t h a p p e n e d i n s t a g e s over t h e last f e w million y e a r s . 4 7 B u t o n c e o u r b r a i n s r e a c h e d a critical t h r e s h o l d , p e r h a p s 8 0 , 0 0 0 t o 1 0 0 , 0 0 0 y e a r s a g o , 4 8 c u l t u r a l innovation b e g a n t o a c c e l e r a t e ; a s t r o n g evolutionary p r e s s u r e t h e n s h a p e d brains t o t a k e further a d v a n t a g e o f c u l t u r e . Individuals w h o c o u l d b e s t l e a r n from others w e r e m o r e s u c c e s s f u l than their less " c u l t u r e d " b r e t h r e n , a n d a s brains b e c a m e m o r e c u l t u r a l , c u l t u r e s b e c a m e m o r e e l a b o r a t e , f u r t h e r inc r e a s i n g t h e a d v a n t a g e of having a m o r e cultural brain. All h u m a n b e i n g s today a r e the p r o d u c t s of the co-evolution of a set of g e n e s ( w h i c h is a l m o s t identical a c r o s s c u l t u r e s ) a n d a s e t o f cultural e l e m e n t s ( w h i c h i s d i v e r s e a c r o s s c u l t u r e s , b u t still c o n s t r a i n e d b y t h e c a p a c i t i e s a n d p r e d i s p o s i t i o n s o f the h u m a n m i n d ) . 4 9 For e x a m p l e , the g e n e t i c evolution o f t h e e m o t i o n o f d i s g u s t m a d e i t p o s s i b l e ( b u t n o t inevitable) for c u l t u r e s t o d e v e l o p c a s t e systems based on occupation and supported by disgust toward those w h o perform "polluting" activities. A c a s t e system then restricts marriage to within-caste pairings, w h i c h in turn alters t h e c o u r s e of g e n e t i c e v o l u t i o n . A f t e r a t h o u s a n d years of i n b r e e d i n g within c a s t e , c a s t e s will d i v e r g e slightly on a f e w g e n e t i c t r a i t s — f o r e x a m p l e , s h a d e s of skin c o l o r — w h i c h m i g h t in turn lead to a g r o w i n g cultural a s s o c i a t i o n of c a s t e with c o l o r r a t h e r than j u s t with o c c u p a t i o n . (It only takes twenty g e n e r a t i o n s of s e l e c t i v e b r e e d i n g to c r e a t e large d i f f e r e n c e s o f a p p e a r a n c e a n d behavior i n o t h e r m a m m a l s . ) 5 0 I n this way, g e n e s a n d c u l t u r e s co-evolve; 5 1 they mutually a f f e c t e a c h other, a n d neither p r o c e s s c a n b e s t u d i e d i n isolation for h u m a n b e i n g s . Wilson e x a m i n e s religion from this co-evolutionary p e r s p e c t i v e . T h e word religion literally m e a n s , in L a t i n , to link or b i n d t o g e t h e r ; a n d d e s p i t e the vast variation in t h e world's religions, W i l s o n s h o w s t h a t religions always serve to coordinate and orient people's behavior t o w a r d e a c h o t h e r

234

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

and toward the g r o u p as a whole, s o m e t i m e s for the p u r p o s e of c o m p e t i n g with other g r o u p s . T h e s o c i o l o g i s t E m i l e D u r k h e i m first d e v e l o p e d this view of religion in 1 9 1 2 : A religion is a unified system of beliefs and practices relative to sacred things, that is to say, things set apart and forbidden—beliefs and practices which unite into one single moral community called a church, all those who adhere to them. 5 2 Wilson s h o w s h o w religious p r a c t i c e s h e l p m e m b e r s solve coordination p r o b l e m s . For e x a m p l e , trust a n d t h e r e f o r e t r a d e a r e g r e a t l y e n h a n c e d w h e n all parties are part of the s a m e religious c o m m u n i t y , a n d w h e n religious beliefs §ay that G o d k n o w s a n d c a r e s a b o u t the h o n e s t y of the parties. ( T h e anthropologist Pascal B o y e r 5 3 points out that g o d s a n d a n c e s t o r spirits are often thought to be o m n i s c i e n t , yet what they m o s t c a r e a b o u t in this vast universe is the moral intentions h i d d e n in the hearts of the living.) R e s p e c t for rules is e n h a n c e d w h e n rules h a v e an e l e m e n t of s a c r e d n e s s , and when they are b a c k e d up by s u p e r n a t u r a l s a n c t i o n a n d the g o s s i p or o s t r a c i s m of one's p e e r s . Wilson's c l a i m is that religious i d e a s , and brains that r e s p o n d e d to t h o s e i d e a s , corevolved. E v e n if the belief in s u p e r n a t u ral entities e m e r g e d originally for s o m e other r e a s o n , or as an a c c i d e n t a l byproduct in the evolution of cognition (as s o m e s c h o l a r s h a v e c l a i m e d ) , 5 4 groups that parlayed t h o s e b e l i e f s into social c o o r d i n a t i o n d e v i c e s (for exa m p l e , by linking t h e m to e m o t i o n s s u c h as s h a m e , fear, guilt, and love) f o u n d a cultural solution to t h e free-rider p r o b l e m a n d t h e n r e a p e d the e n o r m o u s b e n e f i t s of trust a n d c o o p e r a t i o n . If stronger belief led to greater individual b e n e f i t s , or if a g r o u p d e v e l o p e d a w a y to p u n i s h or e x c l u d e those who did not s h a r e in its b e l i e f s a n d p r a c t i c e s , c o n d i t i o n s were perfect for the co-evolution of religion a n d religious b r a i n s . ( C o n s i s t e n t with Wilson's proposal, the geneticist D e a n H a m e r recently reported e v i d e n c e from twin s t u d i e s that s u g g e s t s a particular g e n e m a y be a s s o c i a t e d with a stronger t e n d e n c y to have religious a n d s e l f - t r a n s c e n d e n t e x p e r i e n c e s . ) 5 5 Religion, t h e r e f o r e , c o u l d h a v e p u l l e d h u m a n b e i n g s i n t o the groupselection loophole. By m a k i n g p e o p l e long ago f e e l a n d act as though they

Ha-ppiness

Comes from Between 22 1

were part o f o n e body, religion r e d u c e d t h e i n f l u e n c e o f i n d i v i d u a l s e l e c l ion ( w h i c h s h a p e s i n d i v i d u a l s t o b e s e l f i s h ) a n d b r o u g h t i n t o p l a y t h e f o r c e o f g r o u p s e l e c t i o n ( w h i c h s h a p e s i n d i v i d u a l s t o w o r k for t h e g o o d o f their g r o u p ) . B u t w e didn't m a k e i t all t h e w a y t h r o u g h t h e l o o p h o l e : H u m a n n a t u r e i s a c o m p l e x mix o f p r e p a r a t i o n s for e x t r e m e s e l f i s h n e s s a n d extreme altruism. W h i c h side of our nature we express d e p e n d s on c u l t u r e a n d c o n t e x t . W h e n o p p o n e n t s o f e v o l u t i o n o b j e c t that h u m a n b e i n g s a r e not m e r e a p e s , they a r e c o r r e c t . W e a r e a l s o p a r t b e e .

H A R M O N Y

A N D

P U R P O S E

H e a d i n g W i l s o n ' s Darwin's Cathedral is like t a k i n g a j o u r n e y to S p a e e l a n d . You c a n look d o w n o n t h e v a s t t a p e s t r y o f h u m a n c u l t u r e s a n d s e e w h y tilings a r e w o v e n i n t h e w a y that they are. W i l s o n s a y s h i s o w n p r i v a t e hell would be to be locked forever into a room full of p e o p l e d i s c u s s i n g the h y p o c r i s i e s o f religion, for e x a m p l e , that m a n y religions p r e a c h l o v e , c o m p a s s i o n , a n d v i r t u e yet s o m e t i m e s c a u s e war, h a t r e d , a n d t e r r o r i s m . F r o m Wilson's higher perspective, there is no contradiction. G r o u p s e l e c t i o n c r e a t e s i n t e r l o c k i n g g e n e t i c a n d c u l t u r a l a d a p t a t i o n s that e n h a n c e p e a c e , harmony, a n d c o o p e r a t i o n within t h e g r o u p f o r t h e e x p r e s s p u r p o s e o f inc r e a s i n g t h e g r o u p ' s ability t o c o m p e t e with other g r o u p s . G r o u p s e l e c t i o n d o e s not e n d c o n f l i c t ; i t j u s t p u s h e s i t u p t o t h e next level o f s o c i a l o r g a n i zation. A t r o c i t i e s c o m m i t t e d i n t h e n a m e o f r e l i g i o n a r e a l m o s t a l w a y s committed against out-group m e m b e r s , or against the most d a n g e r o u s p e o p l e o f all: a p o s t a t e s ( w h o try t o leave t h e g r o u p ) a n d t r a i t o r s ( w h o undcrmine the group). A s e c o n d p u z z l e that W i l s o n c a n solve i s w h y m y s t i c i s m , e v e r y w h e r e a n d always, i s a b o u t t r a n s c e n d i n g t h e self a n d m e r g i n g with s o m e t h i n g larger than the self. W h e n W i l l i a m J a m e s a n a l y z e d m y s t i c i s m , h e f o c u s e d o n t h e psychological s t a t e o f " c o s m i c c o n s c i o u s n e s s " 5 6 a n d o n t h e t e c h n i q u e s d e v e l o p e d i n all t h e m a j o r religions t o a t t a i n it. H i n d u s a n d B u d d h i s t s u s e m e d i t a t i o n a n d yoga to attain t h e s t a t e of samadhi, in w h i c h " t h e s u b j e c t object d i s t i n c t i o n a n d one's s e n s e of an i n d i v i d u a l self d i s a p p e a r in a s t a t e

236

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

usually d e s c r i b e d as one of s u p r e m e p e a c e , bliss, and i l l u m i n a t i o n . " 5 7 J a m e s found m u c h the s a m e goal in C h r i s t i a n a n d M u s l i m m y s t i c i s m , o f t e n attained through repetitive prayer. He q u o t e d the eleventh-century M u s l i m philosopher A1 Ghazzali, w h o spent several years w o r s h i p p i n g with the S u f i s of Syria. A1 Ghazzali attained e x p e r i e n c e s of "transport" a n d revelation that he said c a n n o t be d e s c r i b e d in words, although he did try to explain to his M u s l i m readers the e s s e n c e of S u f i s m : T h e first condition for a Sufi is to purge his heart entirely of all that is not God. T h e next key of the contemplative life consists in the h u m b l e prayers which e s c a p e from the fervent soul, and in the meditations on God in which the heart is swallowed up entirely. But in reality this is only the beginning of the Sufi life, the e n d of S u f i s m being total absorption in G o d . 5 8 From Wilson's p e r s p e c t i v e , mystical e x p e r i e n c e is an " o f f " b u t t o n for the self. W h e n the self is turned off, p e o p l e b e c o m e j u s t a cell in the larger body, a b e e in the larger hive. It is no w o n d e r that the a f t e r e f f e c t s of mystical e x p e r i e n c e a r e predictable; p e o p l e usually feel a stronger c o m m i t m e n t to G o d or to helping others, often by bringing t h e m to G o d . T h e n e u r o s c i e n t i s t A n d r e w N e w b e r g 5 9 h a s s t u d i e d the brains o f p e o p l e undergoing mystical e x p e r i e n c e s , m o s t l y d u r i n g m e d i t a t i o n , a n d has found where that off-switch might be. In t h e rear portion of the brain's parietal lobes (under the rear portion of the top of the skull) are two p a t c h e s of cortex N e w b e r g calls the "orientation a s s o c i a t i o n a r e a s . " T h e p a t c h in the left h e m i s p h e r e a p p e a r s to contribute to the m e n t a l s e n s a t i o n of having a limited a n d physically d e f i n e d body, a n d thus k e e p s track of your e d g e s . T h e c o r r e s p o n d i n g area in the right h e m i s p h e r e m a i n t a i n s a m a p of the s p a c e around you. T h e s e two areas receive i n p u t f r o m your s e n s e s to help them maintain an o n g o i n g representation of your self a n d its location in s p a c e . At the very m o m e n t w h e n p e o p l e report a c h i e v i n g s t a t e s of mystical union, these two a r e a s a p p e a r to be c u t off. I n p u t f r o m other p a r t s of the brain is r e d u c e d , a n d overall activity in t h e s e orientation a r e a s is r e d u c e d , too. But N e w b e r g believes they are still trying to do their j o b s : T h e a r e a on the left

Ha-ppiness

Comes from Between 22 1

tries t o e s t a b l i s h t h e body's b o u n d a r i e s a n d d o e s n ' t f i n d t h e m ; t h e a r e a o n I h e right tries t o e s t a b l i s h t h e s e l f ' s l o c a t i o n i n s p a c e a n d d o e s n ' t f i n d it. T h e person experiences a loss of self c o m b i n e d with a paradoxical e x p a n sion o f t h e s e l f o u t into s p a c e , y e t with n o f i x e d l o c a t i o n i n t h e n o r m a l world o f t h r e e d i m e n s i o n s . T h e p e r s o n f e e l s m e r g e d w i t h s o m e t h i n g vast, s o m e t h i n g larger t h a n t h e self. N e w b e r g believes that rituals that involve repetitive m o v e m e n t and c h a n t i n g , particularly w h e n they are p e r f o r m e d b y m a n y p e o p l e a t t h e s a m e l i m e , h e l p t o set u p " r e s o n a n c e p a t t e r n s " i n t h e b r a i n s o f t h e p a r t i c i p a n t s I hat m a k e this m y s t i c a l s t a t e m o r e likely t o h a p p e n . T h e h i s t o r i a n W i l l i a m M c N e i l l , d r a w i n g o n very d i f f e r e n t d a t a , c a m e t o t h e s a m e c o n c l u s i o n . W h e n M c N e i l l w a s d r a f t e d into t h e U . S . A r m y i n 1 9 4 1 , b a s i c t r a i n i n g req u i r e d that h e m a r c h for h u n d r e d s o f h o u r s o n t h e drill f i e l d i n c l o s e f o r m a lion with a f e w d o z e n other m e n . A t first, M c N e i l l t h o u g h t t h e m a r c h i n g w a s j u s t a way" t o p a s s t h e t i m e b e c a u s e h i s b a s e h a d n o w e a p o n s with which to train. B u t a f t e r a f e w w e e k s of t r a i n i n g , t h e m a r c h i n g b e g a n to induce in him an altered state of c o n s c i o u s n e s s : Words are i n a d e q u a t e to d e s c r i b e the e m o t i o n a r o u s e d by t h e p r o l o n g e d m o v e m e n t in u n i s o n that drilling involved. A s e n s e of p e r v a s i v e w e l l b e i n g is w h a t I recall, m o r e s p e c i f i c a l l y , a s t r a n g e s e n s e of p e r s o n a l enlargement; a "sort of swelling out, b e c o m i n g b i g g e r than life, t h a n k s to participation in collective ritual. 6 0 D e c a d e s later, M c N e i l l s t u d i e d the role that s y n c h r o n i z e d m o v e m e n t — i ^ d a n c e , religious ritual, a n d military t r a i n i n g — h a s p l a y e d in history. In Keep, iug Together in Time,6t he c o n c l u d e s that h u m a n s o c i e t i e s s i n c e t h e beginning o f r e c o r d e d history h a v e u s e d s y n c h r o n i z e d m o v e m e n t t o c r e a t e harmony a n d c o h e s i o n within g r o u p s , s o m e t i m e s i n t h e s e r v i c e o f preparing for hostilities with other g r o u p s . M c N e i l l ' s c o n c l u s i o n s u g g e s t s that synchron i z e d m o v e m e n t a n d c h a n t i n g m i g h t b e e v o l v e d m e c h a n i s m s for activating the altruistic m o t i v a t i o n s c r e a t e d in t h e p r o c e s s ol g r o u p s e l e c t i o n . T h e ext r e m e s e l f - s a c r i f i c e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c o f g r o u p - s e l e c t e d s p e c i e s s u c h a s a n t s and b e e s c a n o f t e n b e f o u n d a m o n g s o l d i e r s . M c N e i l l q u o t e s a n extraordinary

238

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S

H Y P O T H E S I S

p a s s a g e from the book The Warriors: Reflections of Men in Battle that describes the thrilling c o m m u n a l state that soldiers s o m e t i m e s enter: "I" passes insensibly into a "we," "my" b e c o m e s "our," and individual fate loses its central importance. . . . 1 believe that it is nothing less than the assurance of immortality that makes self-sacrifice at these m o m e n t s so relatively easy. . . . I may fall, but I do not die, for that which is real in me goes forward and lives on in the c o m r a d e s for whom I gave up my life. 6 2 T h e r e is indeed s o m e t h i n g larger than the self, a b l e to provide p e o p l e with a s e n s e of p u r p o s e they think worth dying for: the g r o u p . ( O f c o u r s e , o n e group's noble p u r p o s e is s o m e t i m e s a n o t h e r group's p u r e evil.) \

T H E

M E A N I N G

O F

LIFE

W h a t c a n you do to h a v e a g o o d , happy, fulfilling, a n d m e a n i n g f u l l i f e ? W h a t is the answer to the q u e s t i o n of p u r p o s e within life? I believe the answer c a n be found only by u n d e r s t a n d i n g the kind of c r e a t u r e that we are, divided in the m a n y ways we are divided. We were s h a p e d by individual selection t o b e s e l f i s h c r e a t u r e s w h o s t r u g g l e for r e s o u r c e s , p l e a s u r e , a n d prestige, and we were s h a p e d by group selection to be hive c r e a t u r e s w h o long to lose ourselves in s o m e t h i n g larger. We are social c r e a t u r e s w h o n e e d love a n d a t t a c h m e n t s , a n d we are industrious c r e a t u r e s with n e e d s for eff e c t a n c e , a b l e to enter a state of vital e n g a g e m e n t with our work. We are the rider a n d we are the elephant, a n d our m e n t a l health d e p e n d s on the two working together, e a c h d r a w i n g on the o t h e r s ' s t r e n g t h s . I don't b e l i e v e there is an inspiring answer to the q u e s t i o n , ' W h a t is the p u r p o s e of life?" Yet by drawing on ancient w i s d o m a n d m o d e r n s c i e n c e , we c a n find c o m pelling a n s w e r s to the question of p u r p o s e within life. T h e final version of the h a p p i n e s s hypothesis i s that h a p p i n e s s c o m e s from b e t w e e n . H a p p i n e s s is not s o m e t h i n g that you c a n find, a c q u i r e , or achieve directly. You have to get the conditions right a n d then wait. S o m e of t h o s e c o n d i t i o n s are within you, s u c h a s c o h e r e n c e a m o n g t h e p a r t s a n d levels o f y o u r p e r s o n a l i t y .

Ha-ppiness

Comes from Between 22 1

O t h e r c o n d i t i o n s require relationships t o things b e y o n d you: J u s t a s p l a n t s n e e d sun, water, a n d g o o d soil to thrive, p e o p l e n e e d l o v e , work, a n d a c o n nection to s o m e t h i n g larger. It is worth striving to get t h e right r e l a t i o n s h i p s b e t w e e n yourself a n d others, b e t w e e n yourself a n d y o u r work, a n d b e t w e e n yourself a n d s o m e t h i n g larger than yourself. If y o u g e t t h e s e r e l a t i o n s h i p s right, a s e n s e of p u r p o s e a n d m e a n i n g will e m e r g e .

Conclusion: On Balance All things come

into

being

by conflict of opposites. — H E H A C L I T U S , 1 C. 5 0 0 BCE

Without Contraries is no sion, Reason and Energy, Human existence.

progression. Attraction and RepulLove and Hate, are necessary to —

W I L L I A M

B L A K E ,

2

C .

1 7 9 0

T H E A N C I E N T C H I N E S E S Y M B O L of yin and yang represents t h e value of the e ternally shifting balance between seemingly opposed principles. As the epigrams above from Heraclitus and Blake show, this is not j u s t an Eastern idea; ii is Great Idea, a timeless insight that in a way s u m m a r i z e s the rest of this book. Religion and science, for example, are often thought to be opponents, but as I have shown, the insights of ancient religions a n d of m o d e r n s c i e n c e nre both needed to reach a full understanding of h u m a n n a t u r e and the conditions of h u m a n satisfaction. T h e ancients may have known little about biology, chemistry, and physics, but many were good psychologists. Psychology and reI igion can benefit by taking e a c h other seriously, or at least by agreeing to learn from e a c h other while overlooking the areas of irreconcilable difference.

241

242

'i'LLH

H A P P I N E S S H Y P O T H E S I S

T h e E a s t e r n and Western a p p r o a c h e s to life are a l s o said to be o p p o s e d : T h e E a s t s t r e s s e s a c c e p t a n c e and collectivism; the West e n c o u r a g e s striving a n d individualism. B u t as we've s e e n , both p e r s p e c t i v e s a r e valuable. H a p p i n e s s requires c h a n g i n g yourself a n d c h a n g i n g your world. It requires p u r s u i n g your own goals and fitting in with others. D i f f e r e n t p e o p l e at different t i m e s in their lives will benefit f r o m drawing m o r e heavily on one a p p r o a c h or the other. And, finally, liberals and conservatives are o p p o n e n t s in the m o s t literal s e n s e , e a c h u s i n g the myth of p u r e evil to d e m o n i z e the o t h e r s i d e a n d unite their own. But the m o s t important lesson I have l e a r n e d in my twenty years of research on morality is that nearly all p e o p l e are morally motivated. S e l f i s h n e s s is a powerful force, particularly in the d e c i s i o n s of individuals, but whenever groups of p e o p l e c o m e together to m a k e a s u s t a i n e d effort to c h a n g e the world, you c a n bet that they are p u r s u i n g a vision of virtue, justice, or s a c r e d n e s s . Material self-interest d o e s little to explain the p a s s i o n s of partisans on i s s u e s s u c h as abortion, the environment, or the role of religion in public life. (Self-interest certainly c a n n o t explain terrorism, b u t the s e l f l e s s n e s s m a d e p o s s i b l e by group selection c a n . ) An important d i c t u m of cultural psychology is that e a c h c u l t u r e develo p s expertise in s o m e a s p e c t s of h u m a n e x i s t e n c e , but no c u l t u r e c a n be expert in all a s p e c t s . T h e s a m e g o e s for the two e n d s of the political s p e c trum. My r e s e a r c h 3 c o n f i r m s the c o m m o n p e r c e p t i o n that liberals are experts in thinking a b o u t i s s u e s of victimization, equality, a u t o n o m y , a n d the rights of individuals, particularly t h o s e of minorities a n d n o n c o n f o r m i s t s . Conservatives, on the other hand, are experts in thinking a b o u t loyalty to the group, r e s p e c t for authority and tradition, a n d s a c r e d n e s s . 4 W h e n one side overwhelms the other, the results are likely to be ugly. A society without liberals would be harsh and o p p r e s s i v e to m a n y individuals. A society without conservatives would lose m a n y of the social s t r u c t u r e s a n d constraints that D u r k h e i m s h o w e d a r e s o v a l u a b l e . A n o m i e w o u l d i n c r e a s e along with f r e e d o m . A g o o d p l a c e to look for w i s d o m , t h e r e f o r e , is w h e r e you least e x p e c t to find it: in the m i n d s of your o p p o n e n t s . You already know the ideas c o m m o n on your own side. If you c a n take o f f the blinders of the myth of p u r e evil, you might s e e s o m e good i d e a s for the first time.

Conclusion: On Balance

243

B y d r a w i n g o n w i s d o m that i s b a l a n c e d — a n c i e n t a n d new, E a s t e r n a n d W e s t e r n , e v e n liberal a n d c o n s e r v a t i v e — w e c a n c h o o s e d i r e c t i o n s i n life t h a t will l e a d t o s a t i s f a c t i o n , h a p p i n e s s , a n d a s e n s e o f m e a n i n g . W e can't s i m p l y select a destination and then walk there d i r e c t l y — t h e rider d o e s not h a v e t h a t m u c h authority. B u t b y d r a w i n g o n h u m a n i t y ' s g r e a t e s t i d e a s a n d b e s t s c i e n c e , w e c a n train t h e e l e p h a n t , k n o w o u r p o s s i b i l i t i e s a s well a s o u r l i m i t s , a n d live wisely.

Acknowledgments I HIS BOOK E M E R G E D FROM my relationships with m a n y p e o p l e , w h i c h developed as I p a s s e d through Four supportive universities. If this b o o k is broader in its s c o p e than most in psychology it is b e c a u s e I had the great fortune to be m e n t o r e d by John F i s h e r at Yale, J o h n B a r o n , Alan Fiske, Kick McCauley, J u d i t h Rodin, Paul Rozin, and J o h n S a b i n i at the University of Pennsylvania, and Richard S h w e d e r at the University of C h i c a g o . As an iissistant professor at the University of Virginia, I received further menluring from D a n Wegner, and also from Marty S e l i g m a n b a c k at Penn. I am forever grateful to these generous teachers and b r o a d - m i n d e d thinkers. Books also require that s o m e b o d y besides the a u t h o r s e e s a possibility and takes a c h a n c e . I am deeply grateful to Sir J o h n T e m p l e t o n , the John lempleton Foundation, and its executive vice p r e s i d e n t , Arthur Schwartz, for supporting my research on moral elevation and for giving me a s e m e s t e r of sabbatical leave to begin the research for this book. My agent, E s m o n d I larmsworth, also took a c h a n c e ; he invested a great d e a l of time a n d skill in guiding a first-time author through the c o m p l e x i t i e s of the publishing world, and then to a partnership with editor Jo Ann M i l l e r at Basic Books. |o Ann e n c o u r a g e d me to write this book long b e f o r e s h e b e c a m e my edilor, and she has improved the book in countless ways. A b o v e all she h e l p e d me to aim high while writing accessibly, and I know my a c a d e m i c writings will benefit from her wisdom. I thank all these risk t a k e r s . Many friends and colleagues read chapters and s a v e d me from errors, overstatements, and puns. J e s s e G r a h a m , S u z a n n e K i n g , Jayne Riew, and

245

246

Acknowledgments

Mark SHulman gave me detailed c o m m e n t s on the entire manuscript. The following people helped me improve one or more chapters: Jonathan Adler, Sara Algoe, Desiree Alvarez, J e n Bernhards, Robert Biswas-Diener, David Buss, Fredrik Bjorklund, Jerry Clore, William D a m o n , Judy Deloache, Nick Epley, Sterling Haidt, G r e g L a B l a n e , Angel Lillard, Bill McAllister, Rick McCauley, Helen Miller, Brian N o s e k , Shige Oishi, J a m e s Pawelski, Paul Rozin, Simone Schnall, Barry Schwartz, Patrick Seder, Gary Sherman, Nina Strohminger, Bethany Teachman, K e e s Van den Bos, Dan Wegner, Dan Willingham, Nancy Weinfield, Emily Wilson, and Tim Wilson. I thank them all. Finally, a book emerges from the personality of its author, and whether personality is shaped by nature or nurture, I thank my parents, Harold and Elaine Haidt, as well as my sisters, R e b e c c a Haidt and S a m a n t h a Davenport, for their loving support. Above all I thank my wife, J a y n e Riew, who gave me a between.

Notes

I N T R O D U C T I O N :

T o o

M U C H

W I S D o M

1. From Hamlet, I I . i i . 2 4 9 - 2 5 0 . All quotations from S h a k e s p e a r e are f r o m < ;. Ulakemore (Ed), 1974. The Riverside Shakespeare (Boston: Houghton Mifflin). 2. Seligman, 2 0 0 2 . 3. Keyes and Haidt, 2 0 0 3 . 4. Technically one should say "The B u d d h a " (the a w a k e n e d one), just as o n e •.Imnld say "The Christ" (the anointed one). However, I will follow c o m m o n u s a g e HI referring to Buddha and Christ. C H A P T E R

I

1. This and all s u b s e q u e n t quotations f r o m the O l d a n d N e w T e s t a m e n t s me from the N e w Revised Standard Version. 2. Franklin, 1 9 8 0 / 1 7 3 3 - 1 7 5 8 , 3. 3. Lakoff and Johnson, 1980. 4. Dhammapada, verse 326, in Mascaro, 1 9 7 3 . 5. Plato, Phaedrus 2 5 3 d , in Cooper, 1997. 6. Freud, 1 9 7 6 / 1 9 0 0 . 7. Ovid, Metamorphoses, Bk. VII, 2 4 9 . 8. Montaigne, 1991/1588, 1 15. T h e s e c o n d q u o t e is a l s o f r o m page 115. 9. Gershon, 1998. 10. Lyte, Varcoe, and Bailey, 1998. I 1. Gazzaniga, 1985; Gazzaniga, Bogen, a n d Sperry, 1 9 6 2 . 12. Gazzaniga, 1985, 72.

2 4 7

248

-

Notes

13. F e i n b e r g , 2 0 0 1 . 14. O l d s arid Milner, 1 9 5 4 . 15. B u r n s a n d S w e r d l o w , 2 0 0 3 . 16. . D a m a s i o , 1 9 9 4 ; Rolls, 1 9 9 9 . 17. Rolls, 1 9 9 9 . 18. For s u m m a r i e s o f f i n d i n g s o n t h e " e m o t i o n a l b r a i n " s e e B e r r i d g e , 2 0 0 3 ; LeDoux, 1996. 19. D a m a s i o , 1 9 9 4 , D a m a s i o , T r a n e l , a n d D a m a s i o , 1 9 9 0 . 20. Bargh, C h e n , and Burrows, 1996. 2 1 . B a r g h e t al., 1 9 9 6 , for t h e elderly e f f e c t ; D i j k s t e r h u i s a n d v a n K n i p p e n berg, .1998, for t h e o t h e r s . 22. J a m e s , 1950/1890. 2 3 . S e e review i n Leakey, 1 9 9 4 . 2 4 . For a review of why m o s t m e n t a l s y s t e m s w o r k so well, yet logical reasoning works s o poorly, s e e M a r g o l i s , 1 9 8 7 . 2 5 . Rolls, 1 9 9 9 . 26. H u m e , 1969/1739, 462. 2 7 . S h o d a , M i s c h e l , a n d Peake, 1 9 9 0 . 2 8 . For a review of t h e s e s t u d i e s a n d a full a c c o u n t of t h e interplay b e t w e e n the hot ( a u t o m a t i c ) a n d cool (controlled) s y s t e m s , s e e M e t c a l f e a n d M i s c h e l , 1999. 2 9 . S a l o v e y a n d M a y e r , 1 9 9 0 . P o s s e s s i n g e m o t i o n a l i n t e l l i g e n c e d o e s not m e a n that one's e m o t i o n s a r e i n t e l l i g e n t . 3 0 . B a u m e i s t e r e t al., 1 9 9 8 . 31. Obeyesekere, 1985. 3 2 . Wegner, 1 9 9 4 . 3 3 . H a i d t , 2 0 0 1 , H a i d t , Roller, a n d D i a s , 1 9 9 3 . 34. Gladwell, 2 0 0 5 .

C H A P T E R

Z

1. Meditations,

4:3.

2. Dhamm-a-pada, v e r s e 1, in M a s c a r o , 1 9 7 3 . 3. Carnegie, 1984/1944, 113. 4 . F r o m Dr. Phil's " T e n L i f e L a w s , " r e t r i e v e d f r o m w w w . d r p h i l . c o m o n 12/16/04. 5. B o e t h i u s , 1 9 6 2 / c . 5 2 2 CE, 2 4 . 6. B o e t h i u s , 1 9 6 2 / c . 5 2 2 CE, 2 2 . 7. B o e t h i u s , 1 9 6 2 / c . 5 2 2 CE, 2 9 .

Notes

2

249

8. S e e Miller a n d C ' d e B a c a , 2 0 0 1 , for a review. 9. Bargh et al., 1996; Fazio et al., 1 9 8 6 . 10. N o s e k , B a n a j i , a n d G r e e n w a l d , 2 0 0 2 ; N o s e k , G r e e n w a l d , a n d B a n a j i , in press. I 1. Pelham, Mirenberg, a n d J o n e s , 2 0 0 2 . 12. Pinker, 1997. 13. S e e two recent reviews: B a u m e i s t e r e t et at., 2 0 0 1 ; Rozin a n d R o y z m a n , 2001.

14. G o t t m a n , 1 9 9 4 . I 5. K a h n e m a n a n d T v e r s k y 1 9 7 9 . 16. Rozin a n d Royzman, 2 0 0 1 . 17. Franklin, 1 9 8 0 / 1 7 3 3 - 1 7 5 8 , 2 6 . 18. Gray, 1 9 9 4 ; Ito a n d C a c i o p p o , 1 9 9 9 . 19. Miller, 1944. 20. L a B a r a n d L e D o u x , 2 0 0 3 . 21. S h a k e s p e a r e , Hamlet, I.ii. 1 33—134. 2 2 . S h a k e s p e a r e , Hamlet, I I . i i . 2 4 9 - 2 5 0 . 23. A n g l e a n d N e i m a r k , 1 9 9 7 . 24. Lykken et al., 1992. 25. B o u c h a r d , 2 0 0 4 ; Plomin a n d Daniels, 1 9 8 7 ; Turkheimer, 2 0 0 0 . 26. M a r c u s , 2 0 0 4 . 27. Plomin a n d Daniels, 1 9 8 7 . 28. Lykken a n d Tellegen, 1 9 9 6 . 29. D a v i d s o n , 1998. 30. D a v i d s o n a n d Fox, 1989. 31. Kagan, 1 9 9 4 ; Kagan, 2 0 0 3 . 32. M i l t o n , Paradise Lost bk. 1, lines 2 5 4 - 2 5 5 . 33. S e e S h a p i r o , Schwartz, a n d Santerre, 2 0 0 2 , for a review. M o s t of t h e p u b lished s t u d i e s on meditation have u s e d w e a k or f l a w e d d e s i g n s ( s u c h as c o m p a r ing p e o p l e w h o c h o s e to sign up for a meditation c l a s s with p e o p l e who did not). I lnwever, S h a p i r o et al. review several s t u d i e s that u s e d r a n d o m a s s i g n m e n t to ril her a meditation condition or a control condition. T h e b e n e f i t s I m e n t i o n in I lu- text are those s u p p o r t e d by s t u d i e s that u s e d r a n d o m a s s i g n m e n t . 34. Definition from S h a p i r o et al., 2 0 0 2 . •<5. Dhammapada, verse 2 0 5 , in M a s c a r o , 1973. 36. B e c k , 1976. 37. D o b s o n , 1 9 8 9 ; Hollon a n d B e c k , 1994. 38. D e R u b e i s et al., 2 0 0 5 .

250

-

Notes

39. Seligman, 1995. 4 0 . An e a s y p l a c e to s t a r t is with t h e p o p u l a r b o o k Feeling Good by David B u r n s , 1 9 9 9 . J u s t r e a d i n g this b o o k h a s b e e n s h o w n t o b e a n e f f e c t i v e t r e a t m e n t f o r d e p r e s s i o n ( S m i t h e t al., 1 9 9 7 ) . 41. Proust, 1 9 9 2 / 1 9 2 2 b , 2 9 1 . 42. Nestler, Hyman, and Malenka, 2 0 0 1 . 4 3 . S c h a t z b e r g , C o l e , a n d D e B a t t i s t a , 2 0 0 3 . O c c a s i o n a l r e p o r t s that S S R I s a r e n o m o r e e f f e c t i v e t h a n p l a c e b o s a p p e a r t o b e b a s e d o n f l a w e d s t u d i e s ; for exa m p l e , s t u d i e s that u s e d very low d o s e s o f S S R I s . S e e H o l l o n e t al., 2 0 0 2 . 44. Kramer, 1993.. 45. Haidt, 2 0 0 1 ; Haidt and Joseph, 2 0 0 4 .

C H A P T E R

3

1 .Analects, 1 5 . 2 4 . In L e y s , 1 9 9 7 . 2 . B a b y l o n i a n T a l m u d , T r a c t a t e S h a h b o s , Folio 3 1 a , S c h o t t e n s t e i n edition, A . Dicker, t r a n s . ( N e w York: M e s o r a h P u b l i c a t i o n s , 1 9 9 6 ) . 3. The Godfather, d i r e c t e d by F. F. C o p p o l a , 1 9 7 2 . P a r a m o u n t P i c t u r e s . B a s e d o n t h e novel b y M a r i o P u z o . 4. Campbell, 1983; Richerson and Boyd, 1998. 5 . H a m i l t o n , 1 9 6 4 , first w o r k e d o u t t h e d e t a i l s o f kin s e l e c t i o n . W e all s h a r e m o s t o f o u r g e n e s with all p e o p l e , a n d e v e n with m o s t c h i m p a n z e e s , m i c e , and fruit flies. W h a t m a t t e r s h e r e i s only t h e s u b s e t o f g e n e s t h a t vary within t h e human population. 6 . O f c o u r s e , t h e a n c e s t o r s did n o "parlaying"; they j u s t survived b e t t e r than their c o m p e t i t o r s , a n d in t h e p r o c e s s , r e p r o d u c t i o n s h i f t e d over to a q u e e n and ultrasociality e m e r g e d . 7. D e s c r i b e d in Ridley, 1 9 9 6 . 8. Kunz and Woolcott, 1976. 9. Cialdini, 2 0 0 1 . 10. Axel rod, 1 9 8 4 . 1 1. W i l k i n s o n , 1 9 8 4 . 12. Trivers, 1 9 7 1 . 13. Ridley, 1 9 9 6 . 14. Panthanatha'n a n d B o y d , 2 0 0 4 ; R i c h e r s o n a n d B o y d , 2 0 0 5 . 15. C o s m i d e s a n d Tooby, 2 0 0 4 . 16. G u t h , S c h m i t t b e r g e r , a n d S c h w a r z e , 1 9 8 2 . 17. S a n f e y e t al., 2 0 0 3 .

Notes 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30.

2

251

Bjorklund, 1997. Dunbar, 1993. Dunbar, 1996. Horn a n d Haidt, in preparation. For a d e f e n s e o f g o s s i p , s e e S a b i n i a n d Silver, 1 9 8 2 . Cialdini, 2001. C i a l d i n i , 2 0 0 1 , c i t e s a n u n p u b l i s h e d study b y L y n n a n d M c C a l l , 1 9 9 8 . J a m e s and Bolstein, 1992. C i a l d i n i e t al., 1 9 7 5 . B e n t o n , Kelley, a n d L i e b l i n g , 1 9 7 2 . Lakin and Chartrand, 2003. v a n B a a r e n e t al., 2 0 0 4 . v a n B a a r e n e t al., 2 0 0 3 .

C H A P T E R

4

1. Dhatnma-pada, v e r s e 2 5 2 , in M a s c a r o , 1 9 7 3 . 2 . " O u t i n g Mr. S c h r o c k , " Washington Post, S e p t e m b e r 2 , 2 0 0 4 , A 2 2 . 3. Horn a n d Haidt, in preparation. 4. For extensive d i s c u s s i o n s of the prisoner's d i l e m m a g a m e , s e e Axelrocj, l l >84; W r i g h t , 1 9 9 4 . 5. M a c h i a v e l l i , 'live Discourses,

1.25.

6. Byrne and Whiten, 1988. 7 . B a t s o n e t al., 1 9 9 7 ; B a t s o n e t al., 1 9 9 9 . 8. Buchanan, 1965, 53. 9. Pachocinski, 1996, 222. 10. W r i g h t , 1 9 9 4 , 13. I 1. K u h n , 1 9 9 1 . , 12. P e r k i n s , Farady, a n d B u s h e y , 1 9 9 1 . 13. K u n d a , 1 9 9 0 ; Pyszczynski a n d G r e e n b e r g , 1 9 8 7 . 14. F r a n k l i n , 1 9 6 2 / c . 1 7 9 1 , 4 3 . I 5. A l i c k e et al., 1 9 9 5 ; H o o r e n s , 1 9 9 3 . 16. H e i n e a n d I^ehman, 1 9 9 9 ; M a r k u s a n d K i t a y a m a , 1 9 9 1 . 17. E p l e y a n d D u n n i n g , 2 0 0 0 . I 8 . T h i s a n a l y s i s o f l e a d e r s h i p , a n d t h e s t u d i e s c i t e d i n this p a r a g r a p h c o m e I mm Dunning, Meyerowitz, a n d Holzberg, 2 0 0 2 . 19. C r o s s , 1 9 7 7 . 2 0 . T a y l o r e t al., 2 0 0 3 .

252

-

Notes

2 1 . R o s s a n d Sicoly, 1 9 7 9 . 22. Epley and C a r u s o , 2 0 0 4 . 23. Babcock and Loewenstein, 1997. 2 4 . Pronin, Lin, a n d R o s s , 2 0 0 2 . 25. Hick, 1967. 2 6 . R u s s e l l , 1 9 8 8 ; Boyer, 2 0 0 1 . 27. Baumeister, 1997. 2 8 . S e e review i n B a u m e i s t e r , 1 9 9 7 ( c h a p . 2 ) . 29. Baumeister, Smart, and Boden, 1996; B u s h m a n and Baumeister, 1998. However, e v i d e n c e t h a t a n t i s o c i a l b e h a v i o r is a s s o c i a t e d w i t h low s e l f - e s t e e m has r e c e n d y b e e n r e p o r t e d b y D o n n e l l a n e t al., 2 0 0 5 . 3 0 . Glover, 2 0 0 0 . 31. Skitka, 2 0 0 2 . 32. Geertz, 1973, 5, paraphrasing the sociologist M a x Weber. 3 3 . Bhagavad Gita, 1 2 . 1 8 - 1 9 . In Z a e h n e r , 1 9 6 9 . 3 4 . S e n t - t s ' a n , Hsin hsin ming. In C o n z e , 1 9 5 4 .

3 5 . S h a p i r o e t al., 2 0 0 2 . 36. B u m s , 1999. C H A P T E R

5

1. Dhammapada, v e r s e 8 3 , in M a s c a r o , 1 9 7 3 . 2. E p i c t e t u s , 1983/1 s t - 2 n d c e n t . CE, 9. 3. Davidson, 1994; see also Brim, 1 9 9 2 . 4. Troilus and Cressida,

I.ii.287.

5. Wilson and Gilbert, 2 0 0 3 . 6 . B r i c k m a n , C o a t e s , a n d J a n o f f - B u l m a n , 1 9 7 8 ; s e e a l s o S c h u l z a n d Decker, 1 9 8 5 , for l o n g - t e r m follow-up o f s p i n a l injury p a t i e n t s . N o s t u d y h a s o b t a i n e d h a p p i n e s s or life s a t i s f a c t i o n ratings in t h e first d a y s a f t e r w i n n i n g t h e lottery or b e c o m i n g a p a r a p l e g i c , b u t a p p e a r a n c e s s u g g e s t t h a t e m o t i o n a l r e a c t i o n s are very strong. W e c a n t h e r e f o r e infer t h a t t h e s u r p r i s i n g l y m o d e r a t e h a p p i n e s s ratings given by b o t h g r o u p s a f e w m o n t h s l a t e r i l l u s t r a t e a return " m o s t of t h e way" to b a s e l i n e . 7. Kaplan, 1978. 8. Interview by D e b o r a h S o l o m o n , New York Times Magazine, S u n d a y Dec e m b e r 12, 2 0 0 4 , 3 7 . I t s h o u l d b e n o t e d , however, t h a t a d a p t a t i o n t o s e v e r e disability is slow a n d o f t e n i n c o m p l e t e . E v e n y e a r s later, p a r a p l e g i c s have not, on average, r e t u r n e d fully to their p r e - a c c i d e n t levels.

Notes

2 53

9. Helson, 1964. I 0. For a s e n s i t i v e exploration of goal p u r s u i t , a m b i t i o n , a n d h a p p i n e s s , s e e Ihim, 1 9 9 2 . I I. Lykken a n d T e l l e g e n , 1 9 9 6 . 12. S m i t h , 1 9 7 6 / 1 7 5 9 , 149. IB. B r i c k m a n a n d C a m p b e l l , 1 9 7 1 . 14. D i e n e r e t al., 1 9 9 9 ; M a s t e k a a s a , 1 9 9 4 ; W a i t e a n d G a l l a g h e r , 2 0 0 0 . H o w ever, it is not c l e a r that m a r r i e d p e o p l e , are, on a v e r a g e , h a p p i e r t h a n t h o s e w h o never m a r r i e d , b e c a u s e u n h a p p i l y m a r r i e d p e o p l e a r e t h e l e a s t h a p p y g r o u p o f nil a n d they pull d o w n t h e a v e r a g e ; s e e D e P a u l o a n d M o r r i s , 2 0 0 5 , f o r a c r i t i q u e nl' r e s e a r c h on t h e b e n e f i t s of m a r r i a g e . 15. H a r k e r a n d Keltner, 2 0 0 1 ; Lyubomirsky, King, a n d D i e n e r , i n p r e s s . I 6. B a u m e i s t e r a n d Leary, 1 9 9 5 . I Iowever, it is not c e r t a i n t h a t m a r r i a g e i t s e l f i s m o r e b e n e f i c i a l than other k i n d s o f c o m p a n i o n s h i p . M u c h e v i d e n c e s a y s y e s , particularly for h e a l t h , wealth, a n d longevity (reviewed i n W a i t e a n d G a l l a g h e r , .'.()()()); b u t a large longitudinal s t u d y f a i l e d to f i n d a l o n g - l a s t i n g b e n e f i t of m a r i lage on r e p o r t s of well-being ( L u c a s et al., 2 0 0 3 ) . 17. D i e n e r e t al., 1 9 9 9 ; M y e r s , 2 0 0 0 . 18. Argyle, 1 9 9 9 . S o m e s t u d i e s f i n d a larger r a c e d i f f e r e n c e , b u t w h e n d i f f e r e n c e s i n i n c o m e a n d j o b s t a t u s are c o n t r o l l e d for, t h e d i f f e r e n c e s b e c o m e s m a l l HI insignificant. 19. D i e n e r e t al., 1 9 9 9 ; L u c a s a n d G o h m , 2 0 0 0 . 2 0 . C a r s t e n s e n e t al., 2 0 0 0 ; D i e n e r a n d S u h , 1 9 9 8 . M r o c z e k a n d S p i r o , .'005, f o u n d a p e a k a r o u n d a g e sixty-five. 2 1 . F r e d e r i c k a n d L o e w e n s t e i n , 1 9 9 9 ; Riis e t al., 2 0 0 5 . 22. Lucas, 2 0 0 5 . 23. S c h k a d e and Kahneman, 1998. 2 4 . Feingold, 1 9 9 2 . 2 5 . Diener, Wolsic, a n d Fujita, 1 9 9 5 . 2ft. D i e n e r a n d O i s h i , 2 0 0 0 . 27. Lyubomirsky, King, a n d Diener, i n p r e s s ; F r e d r i c k s o n , 2 0 0 1 . 2K. D i e n e r a n d O i s h i , 2 0 0 0 ; F r a n k , 1 9 9 9 . 2<). Bhagavad Gita, X V I . 12. T h e s e c o n d q u o t e is f r o m X V I . 1 3 - 1 4 . In Z a e h n e r , I'll/). 40. Plomin a n d D a n i e l s , 1 9 8 7 . T h e unique e n v i r o n m e n t that e a c h c h i l d c r e a t e s it Itiit the family m a t t e r s , but not usually as m u c h as his or h e r u n i q u e g e n e s . <1. Lykken, 1 9 9 9 . U. Marcus, 2004.

254

-

Notes

3 3 . Lyubomirsky, S h e l d o n , a n d S c h k a d e , i n p r e s s . 34. S e e Lyubomirsky et al., in p r e s s , a n d S e l i g m a n , 2 0 0 2 , chap. 4. L y u b o m i r s k y et al. call t h e last t e r m " a c t i v i t i e s " ; S e l i g m a n c a l l s it "voluntary varia b l e s . " I am c o m b i n i n g their t e r m s , f o r s i m p l i c i t y of e x p l a n a t i o n , by referring to "voluntary activities." 3 5 . G l a s s a n d Singer, 1 9 7 2 , a n d o t h e r s r e v i e w e d i n F r e d e r i c k a n d L o e w e n stein, 1 9 9 9 . 3 6 . S e e review i n F r a n k , 1 9 9 9 . 3 7 . K o s l o w s k y a n d KJuger, 1 9 9 5 . 38. Csikszentmihalyi, 1997. 3 9 . G l a s s a n d Singer, 1 9 7 2 . 40. Langer and Rodin, 1976; Rodin a n d Langer, 1977. 41. Haidt and Rodin, 1999. 42. Reviewed in Lyubomirsky, King, a n d Diener, in press; Reis and Gable, 2003. 4 3 . S e e Argyle, 1 9 9 9 ; B a u m e i s t e r a n d Leary, 1 9 9 5 ; M y e r s , 2 0 0 0 ; S e l i g m a n , 2 0 0 2 . H o w e v e r , L u c a s a n d D y r e n f o r t h (in p r e s s ) p r e s e n t e v i d e n c e that t h e direct c a u s a l e f f e c t o f i m p r o v e d social r e l a t i o n s h i p s o n h a p p i n e s s m a y b e smaller than m o s t p s y c h o l o g i s t s realize, p e r h a p s n o larger t h a n t h e e f f e c t o f i n c o m e o n h a p p i n e s s . T h i s d e b a t e h a s j u s t b e g u n ; its r e s o l u t i o n m u s t a w a i t f u t u r e research. 4 4 . Lyubomirsky, King, a n d D i e n e r , i n p r e s s ; R e i s a n d G a b l e , 2 0 0 3 . 45. Frederick and Loewenstein, 1999. 46. Bronte, 1 9 7 3 / 1 8 4 7 , 110. S p o k e n by J a n e Eyre. 47. Belk, 1985; Kasser, 2 0 0 2 ; Kasser and Ryan, 1996. 48. Csikszentmihalyi, 1990. 4 9 . S e e Miller, 1 9 9 7 , o n t h e " d i s g u s t o f s u r f e i t . " 5 0 . S e l i g m a n , 2 0 0 2 , 102. 51. Wrzesniewski, Rozin, a n d B e n n e t t , 2 0 0 3 ; s e e also K a s s , 1994. 5 2 . E p i c u r u s , Letter to Menoeceus, 1 2 6 . In O ' C o n n o r , 1 9 9 3 . 5 3 . Peterson a n d S e l i g m a n , 2 0 0 4 . 54. E m m o n s and M c C u l l o u g h , 2 0 0 3 ; Lyubomirsky, S h e l d o n , and Schkade, in p r e s s . 55. Frank, 1999. 56. A d a p t e d from Solnick a n d M e m e n w a y , 1998. 5 7 . Van B o v e n a n d G i l o v i c h , 2 0 0 3 . 5 8 . Too Te Ghing, 12, in F e n g a n d E n g l i s h , 1 9 7 2 . 5 9 . T h i s s a m e a r g u m e n t h a s b e e n m a d e w i t h n e u r o s c i e n t i f i c e v i d e n c e l>y Whybrow, 2 0 0 5 .

Notes

2

255

60. Iyengar a n d Lepper, 2 0 0 0 . 61. Schwartz, 2004. 6 2 . S c h w a r t z e t al., 2 0 0 2 . 6 3 . S c h w a r t z e t al., 2 0 0 2 . 64. Conze, 1959. 65. Conze, 1959, 40. 66. S o m e p e o p l e say "the B u d d h a " (the a w a k e n e d one), j u s t a s s o m e p e o p l e sny " t h e C h r i s t " ( t h e a n o i n t e d o n e ) . H o w e v e r I f o l l o w c o m m o n u s a g e i n r e f e r r i n g lo Buddha and Christ. 67. Biswas-Diener a n d Diener, 2 0 0 1 ; Diener a n d Diener, 1 9 9 6 . 68. Biswas-Diener and Diener, 2 0 0 1 , 3 3 7 . 6 9 . I l a t e r f o u n d a p u b l i s h e d v e r s i o n o f t h e talk: S o l o m o n , 1 9 9 9 . 70. Broderick, 1990, 261. 71. Memorial Day Address, delivered on M a y 30, 1884. In H o l m e s , 1 8 9 1 , 3.

C H A P T E R

6

1 . S e n e c a , E p i s t l e X L V I I I , i n S e n e c a , 1 9 1 7 - 1 9 2 5 / c . 5 0 CE, 3 1 5 . 2. Meditation XVII, in Donne, 1 9 7 5 / 1 6 2 3 . 3 . T h e f a c t s i n this p a r a g r a p h a r e d r a w n f r o m B l u m , 2 0 0 2 , C h a p t e r 2 . 4. Watson, 1928. 5. My a c c o u n t of Harlow's career is taken from B l u m , 2 0 0 2 . 6. Harlow, Harlow, and Meyer, 1950. 7. Harlow and Zimmerman, 1959. 8. Blum, 2002. 9 . For reviews o f the d e v e l o p m e n t o f Bowlby's life a n d i d e a s , s e e B l u m , .'1)02, a n d C a s s i d y , 1 9 9 9 . 10. L o r e n z , 1 9 3 5 . I I. Bowlby, 1 9 6 9 ; C a s s i d y , 1 9 9 9 . I 2. For a r e v i e w of t h e f u n c t i o n s of play, s e e F r e d r i c k s o n , 1 9 9 8 . 13. H a r l o w , 1 9 7 1 . 14. A i n s w o r t h et al., 1 9 7 8 . I 5. S e e current reviews of a t t a c h m e n t research in Cassidy, 1 9 9 9 ; W e i n f i e l d i l nl.. 1 9 9 9 . 16. H a r r i s , 1 9 9 5 . 17. K a g a n , 1 9 9 4 . IK. D e W o l f f a n d v a n I J z e n d o o r n , 1 9 9 7 . 19. van I J z e n d o o r n et al., 2 0 0 0 .

256

-

Notes

20. H a z a n a n d Shaver, 1 9 8 7 . C o p y r i g h t © 1 9 8 7 by the A m e r i c a n Psychological Association. A d a p t e d with p e r m i s s i o n . 21. Hazan and Zeifman, 1999. 2 2 . F e e n e y a n d Noller, 1996. 2 3 . Bowlby, 1 9 6 9 . 24. Hazan and Zeifman, 1999. 2 5 . Vormbrock, 1 9 9 3 . 2 6 . Carter, 1 9 9 8 , U v n a s - M o b e r g , 1 9 9 8 . 2 7 . Taylor et al., 2 0 0 0 . 2 8 . S e e Fisher, 2 0 0 4 , for a review of o x y t o c i n s role in love a n d sex. 2 9 . Fisher, 2 0 0 4 . 30. M o s s , 1 9 9 8 . 31. Trevathan, 1 9 8 7 ; Bjorklund, 1 9 9 7 . 32. Bjorklund, 1997. 3 3 . Hill a n d Hurtado, 1 9 9 6 . 34. B u s s , 2 0 0 4 . 35. J a n k o w i a k a n d Fischer, 1992. 36. B e r s c h e i d a n d Walster, 1 9 7 8 ; s e e a l s o S t e r n b e r g , 1 9 8 6 . 37. Plato, S-ymposium I92e, A. N e h a m a s a n d P. W o o d r u f f (trans.). In Cooper, 1997. 38. B e r s c h e i d and Walster, 1 9 7 8 . 39. Q u o t e d b y J a n k o w i a k a n d Fischer, 1 9 9 2 . 40. Julien, 1998. ( 4 1 . Bartels a n d Zeki, 2 0 0 0 ; Fisher, 2 0 0 4 . 4 2 . T h e s e a r e the three c o m p o n e n t s o f Sternberg's ( 1 9 8 6 ) triangular theory of love. 4 3 . Dhammapada, verse 2 8 4 , in M a s c a r o , 1 9 7 3 . 4 4 . C h a p . 2 , line 2 1 3 , i n D o n i g e r a n d S m i t h , 1 9 9 1 . 4 5 . Analects 9 . 1 8 , in L e y s , 1 9 9 7 . 4 6 . Tantric traditions m a y s e e m to be a n c i e n t e x c e p t i o n s , but their goal was to u s e the energy of lust a n d other p a s s i o n s , o f t e n in c o n j u n c t i o n with disgust, as a way to break a t t a c h m e n t s to carnal p l e a s u r e s . S e e Dharmakirti, 2 0 0 2 . 4 7 . Plato, Symposium 192e, A. N e h a m a s a n d P. W o o d r u f f (trans.). In Cooper, 1997. 4 8 . Plato, Symposium 210d, A. N e h a m a s a n d P. W o o d r u f f (trans.). In Cooper, 1997. 4 9 . L u c r e t i u s , De Rerum Natura, bk. IV, lines 1 1 0 5 - 1 113. 50. G o l d e n b e r g et al., 2 0 0 1 ; G o l d e n b e r g et al., 1 9 9 9 . 51. Becker, 1 9 7 3 ; Pyszcsynski, G r e e n b e r g , a n d S o l o m o n , 1 9 9 7 .

Notes

2

257

52. Durkheim, 1951/1897, 209. 53. S e e reviews in C o h e n and Herbert, 1996, Waite a n d Gallagher, 2 0 0 0 . I lowever, L u c a s a n d D y r e n f o r t h (in p r e s s ) h a v e r e c e n t l y q u e s t i o n e d w h e t h e r s o cial r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e q u i t e a s i m p o r t a n t a s t h e rest o f t h e f i e l d t h i n k s . 54. F l e e s o n , M a l a n o s , a n d A c h i l l e , 2 0 0 2 . 55. B r o w n e t al.. 2 0 0 3 . 56. B a u m e i s t e r a n d Leary, 1 9 9 5 . 57. Sartre, 1 9 8 9 / 1 9 4 4 , 45.

C H A P T E R

7

1. K n o w n a l s o as M e n c i u s . F r o m The Book of Mencius, s e c t i o n 6 B : 1 5 , in (:han, 1963, 78. 2. Nietzsche, 1997/1889, 6. 3. Taylor, 2 0 0 3 . 4 . T h i s story i s t r u e , hut n a m e s a n d identifying d e t a i l s h a v e b e e n c h a n g e d . 5 . C l e c k l e y , 1 9 5 5 ; Flare, 1 9 9 3 . 6 . For r e v i e w s o f p o s t t r a u m a t i c g r o w t h s e e N o l e n - H o e k s e m a a n d D a v i s , 2 0 0 2 ; T e d e s c h i , Park, a n d C a l h o u n , 1 9 9 8 ; T e n n e n a n d A f f l e c k , 1 9 9 8 ; U p d e g r a f f a n d Taylor, 2 0 0 0 . T h e r e w e r e a f e w early p i o n e e r s , s u c h a s F r a n k ! , 1 9 8 4 / 1 9 5 9 . 7 . M e i c h e n b a u m , 1 9 8 5 , r e v i e w e d i n U p d e g r a f f a n d Taylor, 2 0 0 0 . 8. Dalai L a m a , 2 0 0 1 / 1 9 9 5 , 40. 9. Nolen-Hoeksema and Davis, 2 0 0 2 , 6 0 2 - 6 0 3 . 10. B a u m , 2 0 0 4 ; T e n n e n a n d A f f l e c k , 1 9 9 8 . I 1. As You Like It, l l . i . 1 2 - 1 4 . I 2. Tooby and C o s m i d e s , 1996. 13. C o s t a a n d M c C r a e , 1 9 8 9 . 14. Park, C o h e n , a n d M u r c h , 1 9 9 6 . I 5. C o s t a and M c C r a e , 1 9 8 9 . 16. S r i v a s t a v a et al., 2 0 0 3 . 17. M c A d a m s . 1 9 9 4 ; M c A d a m s , 2 0 0 1 . 18. M c A d a m s , 1 9 9 4 , 3 0 6 . 19. E m m o n s , 2 0 0 3 ; E m m o n s , 1 9 9 9 . 20. S e e also the work T i m Kasser: Kasser, 2 0 0 2 ; Kasser a n d Ryan, 1996. 21. M c A d a m s , 2 0 0 1 . 103. 2 2 . Adler, K i s s e l , a n d M c A d a m s , i n p r e s s . 23. Sheldon and Kasser. 1 9 9 5 . 24. S e e E m m o n s , 2 0 0 3 , c h a p . 6; and J a m e s . 1 9 6 1 / 1 9 0 2 . 2 5 . S e e King, 2 0 0 1 , o n t h e " h a r d road t o t h e g o o d l i f e . "

258

-

Notes

2 6 . L e r n e r a n d Miller, 1 9 7 8 . 2 7 . For n e w r e s e a r c h o n s e n s e m a k i n g a s p a r t o f t h e " p s y c h o l o g i c a l i m m u n e system" see Wilson and Gilbert, 2 0 0 5 . 28. N o l e n - H o e k s e m a and Davis, 2 0 0 2 ; Ryff and Singer, 2 0 0 3 ; T e n n e n and A f f l e c k , 1 9 9 8 . O t h e r traits that m a t t e r , t h o u g h l e s s t h a n o p t i m i s m , a r e cognitive complexity and o p e n n e s s to experience. 2 9 . Carver, S c h e i e r , a n d W e i n t r a u b , 1 9 8 9 ; L a z a r u s a n d F o l k m a n , 1 9 8 4 . 30. Pennebaker, 1997. 3 1 . Tavris, 1 9 8 2 . 32. Pennebaker, 1997, 9 9 - 1 0 0 . 3 3 . M y e r s , 2 0 0 0 ; M c C u l l o u g h e t al., 2 0 0 0 . 34. Pennebaker, 1997. 3 5 . C h o r p i t a a n d Barlow, 1 9 9 8 . 3 6 . S e e Belsky, S t e i n b e r g , a n d D r a p e r , 1 9 9 1 , for a variety o f p s y c h o l o g i c a l a n d biological c h a n g e s w r o u g h t b y early s t r e s s f u l e n v i r o n m e n t s . 37. Rind, Tromovitch, and B a u s e r m a n , 1998. 38. M c A d a m s , 2001. 39. Fitzgerald, 1988. 4 0 . Elder, 1 9 7 4 ; Elder, 1 9 9 8 . 4 1 . 1 interviewed E l d e r in 1 9 9 4 for a report f o r t h e M a c A r t h u r F o u n d a t i o n . 42. Durkheim, 1951/1897. 43. Putnam, 2000. 44. Baltes, Lindenberger, and Staudinger, 1998. 45. Proust, 1992a/1922, 513. 46. Sternberg, 1998; see also Baltes and Freund, 2 0 0 3 . 4 7 . T h e t h e o l o g i a n R e i n h o l d N i e b u h r u s e d a variant of this prayer in a serm o n i n 1 9 4 3 , a n d this i s t h o u g h t b y s o m e t o b e t h e s o u r c e o f t h e version given h e r e , w h i c h w a s p o p u l a r i z e d by A l c o h o l i c s A n o n y m o u s . ,>

C H A P T E R

8

1. E p i c u r u s , Principle Doctrines. In E p i c u r u s , 1 9 6 3 / c . 2 9 0 BCE, 2 9 7 . 2. Dhammapada, s e c . 9, s t a n z a 1 1 8 . T h i s t r a n s l a t i o n is f r o m B y r o m , 1 9 9 3 . It h a s t h e s a m e m e a n i n g a s t h e t r a n s l a t i o n i n M a s c a r o , b u t h a s m u c h better flow. 3. A r i s t o t l e , 1 9 6 2 / 4 t h c e n t . BCE, 1 0 9 8 a . 4 . Franklin, 1 9 6 2 / c . 1 7 9 1 , 8 2 . 5. Franldin, 1962/c. 1791, 82. 6 . Franklin, 1 9 6 2 / c . 1 7 9 1 , 8 8 . 7. Peterson and Seligman, 2 0 0 4 .

Notes

2

259

8. In Lichtheim, 1976, 152. 9. Templeton, 1997. 10. H a n s e n , 1 9 9 1 . I 1. Aristotle, 1 9 6 2 / 4 t h c e n t . BCE, 1 1 0 3 b . 12. K a n t , 1 9 5 9 / 1 7 8 5 . 13. B e n t h a m , 1 9 9 6 / 1 7 8 9 . 14. P i n c o f f s , 1 9 8 6 . I 5. M. B. S u r e , " R a i s i n g a T h i n k i n g C h i l d W o r k b o o k , " r e t r i e v e d on A p r i l 1 5, 2005, from www.thinkingchild.com. 16. Singer, 1 9 7 9 . 17. M a c l n t y r e , 1 9 8 1 . I 8. S e e a l s o Taylor, 1 9 8 9 . 19. Peterson a n d S e l i g m a n , 2 0 0 4 . 20. Piaget, 1 9 6 5 / 1 9 3 2 . 2 1 . S h w e d e r e t al., 1 9 9 7 . 22. Baumeister, 1997, discussed in chapter 4. 2 3 . W e b s t e r ' s New Collegiate Dictionary, 1 9 7 6 . 2 4 . L y u b o m i r s k y et al., in p r e s s . 2 5 . I s e n a n d L e v i n , 1 9 7 2 . T h e r e a r e limits o n t h i s e f f e c t , s u c h a s w h e n t h e helping will ruin t h e h a p p y m o o d , I s e n a n d S i m m o n d s , 1 9 7 8 . 2 6 . Piliavin, 2 0 0 3 . 27. Thoits and Hewitt, 2 0 0 1 . 2 8 . B r o w n e t al., 2 0 0 3 . 29. M c A d a m s , 2 0 0 1 , discussed in chapter 7. 30. Piliavin, 2 0 0 3 . 3 I. E m m o n s , 2 0 0 3 . " <2. D u r k h e i m , 1 9 5 1 / 1 8 9 7 , d i s c u s s e d i n c h a p t e r 6 . 33. S a m p s o n , 1 9 9 3 . 34. H u n t e r , 2 0 0 0 . 35. A p p i a h , 2 0 0 5 . S e e a l s o Taylor, 1 9 8 9 . 36. Tajfel, 1 9 8 2 . <7. H a i d t , R o s e n b e r g , a n d H o r n , 2 0 0 3 .
C H A P T E R

9

1 . Formerly k n o w n a s M e n c i u s . Q u o t e d i n C h a n , 1 9 6 3 , 5 9 . 2. From the Hadith, quoted in Fadiman and Frager, 1997, 6. •C Abbott, 1952/1884. T h e extended quote is f r o m p a g e 8 0 .

260

-

Notes

4. Boehm, 1999. 5. Brown and Gilman, 1960. 6 . S e e L e v i t i c u s 12; B u c k l e y a n d G o t t l i e b , 1 9 8 8 . 7 . Rozin a n d Fallon, 1 9 8 7 . 8. Rozin et al., 1 9 9 7 . 9 . Leakey, 1 9 9 4 . 10. For a review o f our r e s e a r c h o n d i s g u s t , s e e R o z i n , H a i d t , a n d M c C a u l e y , 2000. 11. H a i d t et al., 1 9 9 7 . 12. R e p o r t e d i n T h o m a s , 1 9 8 3 , 3 8 . 13. J o h n Wesley, 1 9 8 4 / 1 7 8 6 , s e r m o n 8 8 , " O n D r e s s , " 2 4 9 . 14. S h w e d e r et al., 1 9 9 7 . 15. H a i d t , Roller, a n d D i a s , 1 9 9 3 . 16. Doniger a n d S m i t h , 1 9 9 1 . T h e long q u o t e is f r o m c h a p . 4, s t a n z a s 109—122. 17. S e e B l o o m , 2 0 0 4 , o n h o w p e o p l e a r e " n a t u r a l b o r n d u a l i s t s , " k e e p i n g body a n d soul apart. 18. F r o m " T h e Divinity S c h o o l A d d r e s s , " i n E m e r s o n , 1 9 6 0 / 1 8 3 8 , 102. 19. Stall, 1 8 9 7 . T h e q u o t e i s f r o m p a g e 3 5 o f t h e 1 9 0 4 e d i t i o n . 20. Steele, 1867, 191. 21. Le Conte, 1892, 330. 22. Eliade, 1959/1957. T h e long q u o t e is from p a g e 24. 23. Based on the seminal work of E k m a n , Sorensen, and Friesen, 1969. 24. Jefferson, 1975/1771. 2 5 . I s e n a n d Levin, 1 9 7 2 ; s e e d i s c u s s i o n i n c h a p . 8 . 26. Algoe and Haidt, 2 0 0 5 . 2 7 . T h r a s h a n d Elliot, 2 0 0 4 . 28. McCraty and Childre, 2 0 0 4 . 29. Carter, 1998, and see c h a p . 6. 3 0 . S e e a r e c e n t f i n d i n g that oxytocin i n c r e a s e s trust, K o s f e l d , e t al., 2 0 0 5 . 3 1 . D a v i d W h i t f o r d , p e r s o n a l c o m m u n i c a t i o n , 1 9 9 9 . U s e d with p e r m i s s i o n . 32. S e e discussion of attachment and agape in chap. 6. 3 3 . F r o m t h e Critque of Practical Reason, q u o t e d in G u y e r , 1 9 9 2 , 1. 3 4 . F r o m Darwin's " A u t o b i o g r a p h y , " q u o t e d i n W r i g h t , 1 9 9 4 , 3 6 4 . 3 5 . F r o m Nature, in E m e r s o n , 1 9 6 0 b / 1 8 3 8 , 2 4 . 36. Wasson, 1986. 37. Shulgin and Shulgin, 1991. 3 8 . G r o b a n d d e Rios, 1 9 9 4 . 39. Pahnke, 1966. ' 40. Keltner and Haidt, 2 0 0 3 .

Notes

2

261

4 1 . Bhagavad Gita, 2 . 4 5 . In Z a e h n e r , 1 9 6 9 .

42. James, 1961/1902. 43. James, 1961/1902, 2 1 6 - 2 1 7 . 44. Maslow, 1964. 4 5 . D a s t o n a n d Park, 1 9 9 8 . 46. Maslow, 1964, 58. 4 7 . Leary, 2 0 0 4 . 48. Gallup, 1982. 49. Q u o t e d in Cruikshank, 1999, 95. 5 0 . Warren, 2 0 0 2 . 5 1 . 1 have e x t e n d e d S h w e d e r ' s t h r e e e t h i c s into a theory o f five f o u n d a t i o n s o f Inluitive e t h i c s , w h i c h I u s e t o a n a l y z e t h e c u l t u r e war. S e e H a i d t a n d B j o r k lund, i n p r e s s ; H a i d t a n d J o s e p h , 2 0 0 4 . 52. W a r r e n , 2 0 0 2 , 2 2 . 53. Haidt and Hersh, 2 0 0 1 . 54. G r o s s and Haidt, 2 0 0 5 . 55. H a i d t a n d H e r s h , 2 0 0 1 , 2 0 8 .

C H A P T E R

I O

1. Isa U p a n i s h a d , v e r s e s 6—7. In M a s c a r o , 1 9 6 5 , 49—50. 2. S p o k e n by J i m in My Antonia; C a t h e r , 1 9 8 7 / 1 9 1 8 , 14. 3 . " O n t h e R o a d t o F i n d O u t " b y C a t S t e v e n s . F r o m t h e a l b u m " T e a for t h e I (Herman," 1 9 7 0 , A 8 c M . 4 . L e t t e r t o J o h n A u g u s t i n e W a s h i n g t o n , i n Irving, 1 9 7 6 / 1 8 5 6 - 1 8 5 9 . 5. "Sherry Darling" by Bruce Springsteen. Copyright © 1980 B r u c e SpringMeen ( A S C A P ) . R e p r i n t e d b y p e r m i s s i o n . I n t e r n a t i o n a l copyright s e c u r e d . All iipjils reserved." 6. Allen, 1 9 7 5 . 7 . S e e K l e m k e , 2 0 0 0 , for a v o l u m e o f p h i l o s o p h i c a l e s s a y s o n t h e m e a n i n g nl lil'e. M o s t of t h e n o n t h e i s t i c e s s a y s try to do j u s t this. 8 . For e x a m p l e s , s e e A p p i a h , 2 0 0 5 ; C h u r c h l a n d , 1 9 9 8 ; F l a n a g a n , 1 9 9 1 ; < iihhard, 1 9 9 0 ; N u s s b a u m , 2 0 0 1 ; S o l o m o n , 1 9 9 9 . 9. Adams, 1980. 10. Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, d i r e c t e d by Terry G i l l i a m ( U n i v e r s a l '.iiulios, 1 9 8 3 ) . I I. Webster's Third New International Dictionary,

iM>rds. 12. J u n g , 1 9 6 3 .

1993,

unabridged, for both

262

-

Notes

1 3 . Nichomacheun Ethics,

bk.

1,

1094a.

14. Warren, 2 0 0 2 . 15. B o n a n n o , 2 0 0 4 , a n d s e e c h a p . 7 . 16. Gardner, Csikszentmihalyi, a n d D a m o n , 2 0 0 1 . 17. A well-respected theory, Ryan a n d D e c i , 2 0 0 0 , says that t h e fundamental psychological n e e d s are c o m p e t e n c e ( i n c l u d i n g work), r e l a t e d n e s s (love), and autonomy. I agree that a u t o n o m y is important, but I don't think it is as important, universal, or consistently good as the other two. 18. T h i s phrase, "lieben unci arbeiten," d o e s not a p p e a r in Freud's writings. It is often c l a i m e d to be s o m e t h i n g Freud o n c e said in a c o n v e r s a t i o n . Erik Erilcson reports it in this way in Erikson, 1 9 6 3 / 1 9 5 0 , 2 6 5 . 19. L e o Tolstoy, q u o t e d in Troyat, 1 9 6 7 , 158. 2 0 . White, 1 9 5 9 . 2 1 . White, 1959, 3 2 2 . 2 2 . Troilus and Cressida,

I.ii.287.

2 3 . Marx, 1 9 7 7 / 1 8 6 7 . 24. K o h n a n d Schooler, 1 9 8 3 . 2 5 . B e l l a h et al., 1 9 8 5 . 2 6 . Wrzesniewski e t al., 2 0 0 3 ; W r z e s n i e w s k i , Rozin, a n d B e n n e t t , 2 0 0 3 . 2 7 . As d i s c u s s e d in c h a p . 8. 2 8 . Fredrickson, 2 0 0 1 . 29. G i b r a n , 1 9 7 7 / 1 9 2 3 , 2 7 . 30. N a k a m u r a a n d C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i , 2 0 0 3 , 8 7 . 31. N a k a m u r a a n d Csikszentmihalyi, 2 0 0 3 , 8 6 . 32. Gardner, C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i , a n d D a m o n , 2 0 0 1 . S e e a l s o D a m o n , M e n o n , a n d Bronk, 2 0 0 3 , o n the d e v e l o p m e n t o f p u r p o s e . 33. For example, F e n t o n , 2 0 0 5 . 34. M u c h recent work in psychology s h o w s t h e i m p o r t a n c e of fit or cohere n c e for well-being. S e e Freitas a n d Higgins, 2 0 0 2 ; Tamir, R o b i n s o n , a n d Clore, 2002.

3 5 . E m m o n s , 1 9 9 9 ; Miller a n d C ' d e B a c a , 2 0 0 1 . 36. For a well-developed multilevel a p p r o a c h to "optimal h u m a n being," sec Sheldon, 2004. 37. I'm drawing here from interdisciplinary work in cognitive s c i e n c e on the role of the body a n d of culture in cognition, s u c h as that of C l a r k , 1999; Lakol'l and J o h n s o n , 1 9 9 9 ; a n d S h o r e , 1996. 3 8 . D u r k h e i m , 1 9 6 5 / 1 9 1 5 ; Wilson, 2 0 0 2 . 39. Brown, 1 9 9 1 . 4 0 . Darwin, 1 9 9 8 / 1 8 7 1 , 1 6 6 .

Notes

2

263

4 I. W i l l i a m s , 1 9 6 6 ; T r i v e r s , 1 9 7 1 . 42. Dawkins, 1976. 43. Wilson, 1990. 44. C a m p o n o t u s saundersi, described in Wilson, 1990, 4 4 . 4 5 . W i l s o n , 2 0 0 2 . B u t n o t e that g r o u p s e l e c t i o n i s q u i t e c o n t r o v e r s i a l , a n d i t Is presently a minority p o s i t i o n a m o n g e v o l u t i o n a r y b i o l o g i s t s . 46. S e e Aunger, 2 0 0 0 ; Gladwell, 2 0 0 0 ; Richerson and B o y d , 2 0 0 5 . 47. Richerson and Boyd, 2 0 0 5 ; Leakey, 1994. 4 8 . M i t h e n , 2 0 0 0 , e x p l a i n s t h e g a p b e t w e e n t h e brain's r e a c h i n g its c u r r e n t si/.c, over 1 0 0 , 0 0 0 y e a r s a g o , a n d t h e cultural e x p l o s i o n that b e g a n a f e w t e n s o f l l i o u s a n d s o f y e a r s later a s a result o f slowly a c c u m u l a t i n g m a t e r i a l c u l t u r e . 4 9 . S e e Pinker, 1 9 9 7 , 2 0 0 2 , o n h o w t h e evolved m i n d c o n s t r a i n s t h e a r t s , p o l llics, g e n d e r roles, a n d o t h e r a s p e c t s o f c u l t u r e . 50. Foxes h a v e b e e n d o m e s t i c a t e d a n d m a d e s o m e w h a t d o g - l i k e i n a p p e a r a n c e a n d b e h a v i o r i n j u s t forty y e a r s o f s e l e c t i v e b r e e d i n g ; s e e B e l y a e v , 1 9 7 9 ; I rul, 1 9 9 9 . 51. Richerson and Boyd, 2 0 0 5 . 52. Durkheim, 1 9 6 5 / 1 9 1 5 , 62. 53. Boyer, 2 0 0 1 . 54. Boyer, 2 0 0 1 ; D a w k i n s , 1 9 7 6 . 55. Hamer, 2 0 0 4 . 56. T h e t e r m h a d r e c e n t l y b e e n c o i n e d b y R . M . B u c k e . S e e J a m e s , 1 9 6 1 / 1902, 3 1 3 . 57. F r o m t h e Columbia Encyclopedia, 6 t h e d i t i o n , 2 0 0 1 . E n t r y f o r " y o g a . " 58. Q u o t e d b y J a m e s , 1 9 6 1 / 1 9 0 2 , 3 1 7 . 59. N e w b e r g , D ' A q u i l i , a n d R a u s e , 2 0 0 1 . 60. McNeill, 1995, 2. 61. McNeill, 1995. 6 2 . F r o m Gray, 1 9 7 0 / 1 9 5 9 , q u o t e d o n p . 1 0 o f M c N e i l l , 1 9 9 5 .

C H A P T E R

I I

1. Q u o t e d by D i o g e n e s L a e r t i u s , 1 9 2 5 / 3 r d c e n t . CE, b k . 9, s e c . 8 2 . Blake, 1 9 7 5 / 1 7 9 0 - 1 7 9 3 , 3 . 3. G r a h a m and tlaidt, in preparation; Haidt and Bjorklund, in press; H a i d t mul H e r s h , 2 0 0 1 . 4 . T h e r e a r e , o f c o u r s e , s u b t y p e s o f liberals a n d c o n s e r v a t i v e s t h a t v i o l a t e llicse g e n e r a l i z a t i o n s , s u c h a s t h e r e l i g i o u s left a n d t h e l i b e r t a r i a n right, e a c h with its own e x p e r t i s e .

References A b b o t t , E. A. ( 1 9 5 2 / 1 8 8 4 ) . Flatland: A romance of many dimensions.

(6th ed.).

N e w York: Dover. Adams, D. ( 1 9 8 0 ) . The hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. N e w York: Harmony B o o k s . Ailler, J. M . , K i s s e l , E., a n d M c A d a m s , D. P. (in p r e s s ) . E m e r g i n g f r o m t h e G A V E : Attributional style and the narrative s t u d y of identity in m i d l i f e adults.

Cognitive Therapy and Research.

Ainsworth, ML D. S., Blehar, M., Waters, E. & Wall, S. ( 1 9 7 8 ) . Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. H i l l s d a l e , N J : E r l b a u m .

Algoe, S., and Haidt, J . ( 2 0 0 5 ) . W i t n e s s i n g e x c e l l e n c e i n a c t i o n : T h e " o t h e r praising" e m o t i o n s of elevation, gratitude, and a d m i r a t i o n . U n p u b l i s h e d manuscript, University of Virginia. Alicke, M. D., Klotz, M. L., Breitenbecher, D. L., Yurak, T. J., 8c V r e d e n b u r g , D. S. ( 1 9 9 5 ) . Personal contact, individuation, a n d the better-than-average e f f e c t . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 6 8 , 8 0 4 — 8 2 5 .

Allen, W. ( 1 9 7 5 ) . Without feathers. N e w York: R a n d o m H o u s e . Angle, R., 8c N e i m a r k , J. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . Nature's clone. Psychology Today, J u l y / A u g u s t . Appiah, K. A. ( 2 0 0 5 ) . The ethics of identity. Princeton: Princeton University P r e s s . Aigyle, M. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . C a u s e s and correlates of h a p p i n e s s . In D. K a h n e m a n , E. Die n e r 8c

N. S c h w a r t z ( E d s . ) ,

Well-heing:

rThe

foundations ofhedonic psychol-

ogy (pp. 353—373). N e w York: R u s s e l l S a g e . Anstotle. ( 1 9 6 2 / 4 t h cent. BCE). Nichomachean ethics ( M . O s w a l d , Trans.). Indianapolis, I N : Bobbs-Merrill. Aunger, R. ( E d . ) . ( 2 0 0 0 ) . Darwinizing culture: The status of memetics as a sci-

ence. Oxford, U K : Oxford University Press. \uieiius, M. (1964/2nd cent. CE). Meditations ( M . Staniforth, Trans.) L o n d o n : Penguin. • Vxelrod, R. ( 1 9 8 4 ) . The evolution of cooperation. N e w York: B a s i c Books. 2 6 5

266

References

B a b c o c k , L., & L o e w e n s t e i n , G . ( 1 9 9 7 ) . E x p l a i n i n g b a r g a i n i n g i m p a s s e : T h e role of self-serving b i a s e s . Journal of Economic Perspectives, 1 1, 109—126. B a k e s , P. B., & F r e u n d , A. M. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . T h e intermarriage of w i s d o m a n d selective o p t i m i z a t i o n with c o m p e n s a t i o n : T w o m e t a - h e u r i s t i c s g u i d i n g the c o n d u c t of life. In C. L. M. K e y e s 8c J. Haidt ( E d s . ) , Flourishing: Positive psychology and the life well-lived (pp. 249—273). W a s h i n g t o n , D C : Americ a n Psychological A s s o c i a t i o n . B a k e s , P. B., Lindenberger, U . , 8c Staudinger, U. M. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . L i f e - s p a n theory in developmental psychology. In W. D a m o n 8c R. Lem'er ( E d s . ) , Handbook of child psychology. Vol.

1, Theoretical models of human development.

(5th ed.).

(pp. 1 0 2 9 - 1 1 4 3 ) . N e w York: Wiley. Bargh, J . A., C h a i k e n , S . , R a y m o n d , P., 8 c H y m e s , C . ( 1 9 9 6 ) . T h e automaticevaluation e f f e c t : U n c o n d i t i o n a l l y a u t o m a t i c activation with a pronunciation t a s k . Journal of Experimental Social Psychology,

32,

185—210.

Bargh, J. A., C h e n , M . , 8c B u r r o w s , L. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . Automaticity of social behavior: Direct e f f e c t s of trait c o n s t r u c t a n d stereotype activation on action. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 7 1, 2 3 0 — 2 4 4 .

Bartels, A., 8c Zeki, S. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . T h e neural b a s i s of r o m a n t i c love. Neuroreport, 11,3829-3834. Batson, C. D., Kobrynowicz, D., D i n n e r s t e i n , J. L . , K a m p f , H. C . , 8c Wilson, A. D. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . In a very d i f f e r e n t voice: U n m a s k i n g moral hypocrisy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 7 2 ,

1335—1348.

B a t s o n , C. D., T h o m p s o n , E. R., S e u f e r l i n g , G . , Whitney, H . , & S t r o n g m a n , J. A. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . Moral hypocrisy: A p p e a r i n g moral to o n e s e l f without being so. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 7 7 , 5 2 5 — 5 3 7 .

B a u m , D. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . T h e price of valor. The New Yorker, July 12. Baumeister,

R.

F. ( 1 9 9 7 ) .

Evil: Inside human cruelty and violence.

N e w York:

W. H. F r e e m a n . Baumeister, R. F., Bratlavsky, E . , F i n e n a u e r , C„ 8c Vohs, K. D. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . B a d is stronger than good. Review of General Psychology, 5, 323—370. Baumeister, R. E, Bratlavsky, E . , M u r a v e n , M . , 8c T i c e , D. M. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . E g o depletion: Is the active self a l i m i t e d r e s o u r c e ? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 7 4 , 1 2 5 2 - 1 2 6 5 .

Baumeister, R. F., 8c Leary, M. R. ( 1 9 9 5 ) . T h e n e e d to belong: D e s i r e for interpersonal a t t a c h m e n t s as a f u n d a m e n t a l h u m a n motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117, 4 9 7 - 5 2 9 . B a u m e i s t e r , R. F., S m a r t , L., 8c B o d e n , J. M. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . Relation of threatened egotism to violence a n d a g g r e s s i o n : T h e dark s i d e of high s e l f - e s t e e m . Psychological Review,

1 0 3 , 5—33.

References

26 7

I t r e k , A. T. ( 1 9 7 6 ) . Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. N e w York: I n -

ternational Universities Press. Becker, E. ( 1 9 7 3 ) . The Denial of Death. N e w York: F r e e P r e s s . Melk, R. W. ( 1 9 8 5 ) . M a t e r i a l i s m : Trait a s p e c t s of living in t h e material w o r l d . Journal of Consumer Research,

12, 2 6 5 — 2 8 0 .

Hellah, R., M a d s e n , R„ Sullivan, W. M . , Swidler, A . , 8c T i p t o n , S. ( 1 9 8 5 ) . Habits of the heart. N e w York: H a r p e r a n d Row. Mclsky, J., S t e i n b e r g , L., 8c Draper, P. ( 1 9 9 1 ) . C h i l d h o o d e x p e r i e n c e , i n t e r p e r sonal d e v e l o p m e n t , and reproductive s t r a t e g y : A n evolutionary t h e o r y o f socialization. Child Development, 6 2 , 6 4 7 — 6 7 0 . Belyaev, D. K. ( 1 9 7 9 ) . Destabilizing selection as a f a c t o r in d o m e s t i c a t i o n . Journal of Heredity, 70, 3 0 1 - 3 0 8 . B e n t h a m , J. ( 1 9 9 6 / 1 7 8 9 ) . An introduction to the -principles of morals and legisla-

tion. Oxford: C l a r e n d o n . Benton, A. A., Kelley, H. H., 8c -Liebling, B. ( 1 9 7 2 ) . E f f e c t s of extremity of o f f e r s and c o n c e s s i o n rate on the o u t c o m e s of b a r g a i n i n g . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2 4 , 73—83.

Brrridge, K . C . ( 2 0 0 3 ) . C o m p a r i n g the e m o t i o n a l b r a i n s o f h u m a n s a n d o t h e r animals. In R. J. Davidson, K. R. S c h e r e r & H. H. G o l d s m i t h ( E d s . ) , Handbook of affective sciences (pp. 25—51). O x f o r d , U K : O x f o r d University Press. B e r s c h e i d , E . , 8c Walster, E. H. ( 1 9 7 8 ) . Interpersonal attraction. N e w York: Freeman. Biswas-Diener, R., 8c Diener, E. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . M a k i n g t h e b e s t of a b a d situation: S a t isfaction in the s l u m s of C a l c u t t a . Social Indicators Research, 55, 329—352. B|orklund, D. F. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . T h e role of immaturity in h u m a n d e v e l o p m e n t . Psychological Bulletin,

122,

153-169.

Blake, W. ( 1 9 7 5 / 1 7 9 0 - 1 7 9 3 ) . The marriage of heaven and hell. L o n d o n : O x f o r d University P r e s s . Bloom,

P. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . Descartes' baby: How the science of child development explains

what makes us human. N e w York: Basic B o o k s . Blum, D. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . Love at Goon Park. C a m b r i d g e , M A : P e r s e u s . Ilnehm,

C.

( 1 9 9 9 ) . Hierarchy in the forest:

The evolution of egalitarian behavior.

C a m b r i d g e , M A : Harvard University Press. Buethius. ( 1 9 6 2 / c . 5 2 2 CE). The consolation of philosophy. ( R . G r e e n , T r a n s . ) . N e w York: MaCmillan. Biinanno, G . ( 2 0 0 4 ) . L o s s , trauma, a n d h u m a n r e s i l i e n c e : H a v e w e u n d e r e s t i m a t e d the h u m a n c a p a c i t y to thrive after e x t r e m e l y aversive e v e n t s ? American Psychologist, 5 9 , 20—28.

References

268

B o u c h a r d , T. J. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . G e n e t i c i n f l u e n c e on h u m a n psychological traits: A survey. Current Directions in Psychological Science,

1 3 , 1 48—1 5 1.

Bowlby, J. ( 1 9 6 9 ) . Attachment and loss. V o l . ! , Attachment. N e w York: Basic Books. Boyer,

P.

( 2 0 0 1 ) . Religion explained:

The evolutionary origins of religious thought.

N e w York: B a s i c B o o k s . Brickman, P., 8c C a m p b e l l , D. T. ( 1 9 7 1 ) . H e d o n i c relativism a n d planning the good society. In M. H. A p l e y ( E d . ) , Adaptation-level theory: A symposium (pp. 2 8 7 - 3 0 2 ) . N e w York: A c a d e m i c P r e s s . Brickman, P., C o a t e s , D., 8c J a n o f f - B u l m a n , R. ( 1 9 7 8 ) . Ix>ttery winners and accident victims: Is h a p p i n e s s relative? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 3 6 , 9 1 7 - 9 2 7 . Brim, G . ( 1 9 9 2 ) . Ambition. N e w York: ^ a s i c B o o k s . B r o d e r i c k , J. C. ( E d . ) . ( 1 9 9 0 ) . Writings of Henry D. Thoreau: Journal,

Volume 3:

1848—1851. Princeton: Princeton University Press. Bronte, C. ( 1 9 7 3 / 1 8 4 7 ) . Jane Eyre. L o n d o n : Oxford University P r e s s . Brown, D. E. ( 1 9 9 1 ) . Human universals. Philadelphia: T e m p l e University Press. Brown, R., 8c Gilman, A. (1 9 6 0 ) . 'The pronouns of power and solidarity. In T. A. Sebeok (Ed.), Style in language (pp. 2 5 3 - 2 7 6 ) . C a m b r i d g e , M A : M I T Press. Brown, S. L . , N e s s e , R. M . , Vinokur, A. D . , 8c S m i t h , D. M. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Providing social s u p p o r t may be m o r e b e n e f i c i a l than r e c e i v i n g it: R e s u l t s from a prospective study of mortality. Psychological Science, 14, 320—327. Buckley, T., & Gottlieb, A. ( E d s . ) . (1 9 8 8 ) . Blood magic: 'The anthropology of menstruaticm. Berkeley. University of C a l i f o r n i a Press. B u c h a n a n , D. C. ( 1 9 6 5 ) . Japanese proverbs and sayings. N o r m a n , O K : University of O k l a h o m a Press. Burns, D. D. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . Feeling Good. ( 2 n d ed.). N e w York: Avon. Burns, J. M . , & Swerdlow, R. H. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Right orbitofrontal t u m o r with pedophilia s y m p t o m a n d c o n s t r u c t i o n a l apraxia sign. Archives of Neurology, 60, 437-440. B u s h m a n , B. J . , 8c B a u m e i s t e r , R. F. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . T h r e a t e n e d e g o t i s m , narcissism, s e l f - e s t e e m , and direct a n d d i s p l a c e d a g g r e s s i o n : D o e s self-love or sellhate lead

to v i o l e n c e ? Journal of Personality and Social

Psychology,

75,

219-229. B u s s , D. M. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . Evolutionary psychology: The new science of the mind. ( 2 n d

ed.). B o s t o n : Allyn 8c B a c o n . Byrne, R., & W h i t e n , A. ( E d s . ) . ( 1 9 8 8 ) . Machiavellian intelligence. Oxford, UK. Oxford University P r e s s . Byrom, T. ( E d . a n d Trans.). ( 1 9 9 3 ) . Dhammapada: The sayings of the Buddha. Boston: Shambhala.

References 26 7 C a m p b e l l , D. T. ( 1 9 8 3 ) . T h e two distinct routes beyond kin s e l e c t i o n to u l t r a s o ciality: Implications for t h e h u m a n i t i e s and social s c i e n c e s . In D. B r i d g e man

(Ed.),

The

nature

of prococial

development:

Theories and

strategies

(pp. 11—39). N e w York: A c a d e m i c P r e s s . Carnegie,

D.

( 1 9 8 4 / 1 9 4 4 ) . How to stop worrying and start living.

N e w York:

Pocket B o o k s . C a r s t e n s e n , L. L., P a s u p a t h i , M . , Mayr, U., 8c N e s s e l r o a d e , J. R. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . E m o tional e x p e r i e n c e in everyday life a c r o s s the adult life s p a n . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 7 9 , 6 4 4 — 6 5 5 .

Carter, C . ( 1 9 9 8 ) . N e u r o e n d o c r i n e p e r s p e c t i v e s o n social a t t a c h m e n t a n d love. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 2 3 , 779—818. Carver, C. S., 8c W h i t e , T. L. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . Behavioral inhibition, b e h a v i o r a l a c t i v a tion, and a f f e c t i v e r e s p o n s e s t o i m p e n d i n g reward a n d p u n i s h m e n t : T h e B 1 S / B A S scales. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 6 7 , 3 1 9 — 3 3 3 .

Carver, C. S . , Scheier, M. F., 8c Weintraub, J. K. ( 1 9 8 9 ) . A s s e s s i n g c o p i n g s t r a t e gies: A theoretically b a s e d a p p r o a c h . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 5 6 , 2 6 7 - 2 8 3 . Cassidy, J. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . T h e nature of the child's ties. In J. C a s s i d y & P. R. S h a v e r ( E d s . ) , Handbook of attachment: Theory, research, and applications ( p p . 3—20).

N e w York: G u i l f o r d . Gather, W. ( 1 9 8 7 / 1 9 1 8 ) . My Antonia; N e w York: Library of A m e r i c a . C l i a n , W. T. ( 1 9 6 3 ) . A source book in Chinese philosophy. P r i n c e t o n , N J : P r i n c e ton University Press. ( Ihorpita, B. F., 8c Barlow, D. H. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . T h e d e v e l o p m e n t of a n x i e t y : T h e role of control in the early environment. Psychological Bulletin, 124, 3—21. C h u r c h l a n d , P. M. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . T o w a r d a c o g n i t i v e n e u r i o b i o l o g y of t h e m o r a l virtues. Topoi, 17, 83—96. C '.ialdini, R. B. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . Influence: Science and practice. ( 4 t h e d . ) . B o s t o n : Allyn and Bacon. t ialdini, R. B., Vincent, J. E., L e w i s , S. K., C a t a l a n , J . , W h e e l e r , D . , 8c Darby, B . L . ( 1 9 7 5 ) . Reciprocal c o n c e s s i o n s p r o c e d u r e for i n d u c i n g c o m p l i a n c e : T h e d o o r - i n - t h e - f a c e t e c h n i q u e . Journal of Personality and

Social

Psychol-

ogy, 3 1 , 2 0 6 - 2 1 5 . < 'lark, A. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . Being there: Putting brain, body, and world together again. C a m -

bridge, M A : M I T Press. t Hockley, H. ( 1 9 5 5 ) . The mask of sanity. St. L o u i s , M O : Mosby. C o h e n , S . , 8c H e r b e r t , T. B. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . H e a l t h psychology: p s y c h o l o g i c a l f a c t o r s and physical d i s e a s e from t h e p e r s p e c t i v e o f h u m a n p s y c h o n e u r o i m m u nology. Annual Reviews of Psychology, 4 7 , 1 13—142.

270

References

C o n z e , E. ( E d . ) . ( 1 9 5 4 ) . Buddhist texts through the ages. N e w York: Philosophical Library. C o n z e , E. ( E d . ) . ( 1 9 5 9 ) . Btuldhist Scriptures. L o n d o n : Penguin. C o o p e r , J. M. ( E d . ) . ( 1 9 9 7 ) . Plato: Complete works. I n d i a n a p o l i s , I N : H a c k e t t . C o s m i d e s , L., & Tooby, J. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . K n o w i n g thyself: T h e evolutionary psychology of moral reasoning a n d moral s e n t i m e n t s . Business, Science, and Ethics, 91-127. C o s t a , P. T. J., 8c M c C r a e , R. R. ( 1 9 8 9 ) . Personality continuity a n d the c h a n g e s of adult life. In M. Storandt & G. R. V a n d e n B o s ( E d s . ) , The adult years: Continuity and change (pp. 45—77). Washington, D C : A m e r i c a n Psychological Association. C r o s s , P. ( 1 9 7 7 ) . N o t can b u t will c o l l e g e t e a c h i n g be improved. New Directions for Higher Education, 1 7 , 1—15. C r u i k s h a n k , B. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . Will to empower:

Democratic citizens and other subjects.

Ithaca: Cornell University P r e s s . Csikszentmihalyi,

M. ( 1 9 9 0 ) . Flow:

The psychology of optimal experience.

New

York: H a r p e r 8c Row. Csikszentmihalyi, M. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . Finding flow. N e w York: B a s i c B o o k s . Dalai L a m a . ( 2 0 0 1 / 1 9 9 5 ) . '/Tie art of living: A guide to contentment, joy, and fulfillment. ( G . T. J i n p a , T r a n s . ) L o n d o n : T h o r s o n s . D a m a s i o , A. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . Descartes' error: Emotion, reason, and the human brain. N e w

York: P u t n a m . D a m a s i o , A. R., Tranel, D . , 8c D a m a s i o , H. ( 1 9 9 0 ) . Individuals with sociopathic behavior c a u s e d by frontal d a m a g e fail to r e s p o n d a u t o n o m i c a l l y to social s t i m u l i . Behavioral Brain Research, 4 1 , 8 1 — 9 4 . D a m o n , W. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . The youth charter: How communities can work together lo

raise standards for all our children. N e w York: F r e e Press. D a m o n , W., M e n o n , J. 8c Bronk, K. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . T h e d e v e l o p m e n t of p u r p o s e during a d o l e s c e n c e . Applied Developmental Science 7, 1 19—128. D a r w i n , C. ( 1 9 9 8 / 1 8 7 1 ) . The descent of man and selection in relation to sex.

A m h e r s t , NY: P r o m e t h e u s . D a s t o n , L . , a n d P a r k C. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . Wonders and the order of nature,

1150-1750.

N e w York: Zone. Davidson, R. J. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . A s y m m e t r i c brain f u n c t i o n , a f f e c t i v e style, a n d psychopathology: T h e role of early e x p e r i e n c e a n d plasticity. Development and Psychopathology, 6, 7 4 1 - 7 5 8 . Davidson, R. J. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . A f f e c t i v e style a n d a f f e c t i v e disorders: Perspectives from a f f e c t i v e n e u r o s c i e n c e . Cognition and Emotion, 12, 307—330.

References 26 7 Davidson, R. J., a n d Fox, N. A. ( 1 9 8 9 ) . Frontal brain a s y m m e t r y p r e d i c t s i n f a n t s ' r e s p o n s e to m a t e r n a l s e p a r a t i o n . Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 9 8 , 127-131. Dawkins, R. ( 1 9 7 6 ) . The selfish gene. Oxford, U K : O x f o r d University P r e s s . DePaulo, B. M . , 8c Morris, W. L. ( 2 0 0 5 ) . S i n g l e s in society a n d s c i e n c e . Psychological Inquiry,

1 6 , 57—83.

DeRubeis, R. J., Hollon, S. D., Amsterdam, J. D., Shelton, R. C . , Young, P R., Salomon, R. M., et al. (2005). Cognitive therapy vs medications in the treatment of moderate to severe depression. Archives of General Psychiatry, 6 2 , 409-^4 16. DeWolff, M . , 8c van Ijzendoorn, M. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . Sensitivity a n d a t t a c h m e n t : A m e t a analysis on parental a n t e c e d e n t s of infant a t t a c h m e n t . Child Development, 68, 5 7 1 - 5 9 1 . I )harmakirti. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . Mahayana tantra. N e w Delhi, India: P e n g u i n . Diener, E., 8c Diener, C. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . M o s t p e o p l e are happy. Psychological Science, 7, 1 8 1 - 1 8 5 . Diener, E., 8 c O i s h i , S . ( 2 0 0 0 ) . M o n e y a n d h a p p i n e s s : I n c o m e a n d s u b j e c t i v e well-being a c r o s s nations. In E. Diener 8c E. M. S u h ( E d s . ) , Culture and subjective well-being (pp. 1 8 5 — 2 1 8 ) . C a m b r i d g e , M A : M I T P r e s s . Diener, E., & S u h , M. E. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . Subjective well-being and age: An international analysis. In K. S c h a i e & M. Lawton ( E d s . ) , Annual review of gerontology and geriatrics, Vol

17": Focus on emotion and adult development, Annual re-

view of gerontology and geriatrics (pp. 304—324). N e w York: Springer. Diener, E., S u h , E. M . , L u c a s , R. E., 8c S m i t h , H. L. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . S u b j e c t i v e wellbeing: T h r e e d e c a d e s of progress. Psycltological Bulletin, 1 2 5 , 276—302. I >icner, E., Wolsic, B., 8c Fujita, F. ( 1 9 9 5 ) . Physical attractiveness a n d s u b j e c t i v e w e l l - b e i n g .Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 6 9 ,

120—129.

I >ijksterhuis, A., 8c van Rnippenberg, A. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . T h e relation b e t w e e n p e r c e p tion a n d behavior, or how to win a g a m e of Trivial Pursuit. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 7 4 , 8 6 5 — 8 7 7 .

I )obson, K. S. ( 1 9 8 9 ) . A meta-analysis of the e f f i c a c y of cognitive therapy for d e p r e s s i o n . Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology,

57, 414—419.

Doniger, W., 8c S m i t h , B. ( E d s . 8c Trans.). ( 1 9 9 1 ) . The ,laws of Manu. L o n d o n : Penguin. Donne,

J.

(1975/1623).

Devotions

upon emergent occasions: A

critical

edition

with introduction and commentary. Salzburg: University of S a l z b u r g . I ><>nnellan, M. B., Trzesniewski, K. H., Robins, R. W., Moffitt, T. E . , 8c C a s p i , A. ( 2 0 0 5 ) . L o w s e l f - e s t e e m is related to aggression, antisocial behavior, a n d delinquency. Psychological Science, 16, 328—335.

References

272

Dunbar, R. ( 1 9 9 3 ) . Convolution of neocortical size, g r o u p size a n d l a n g u a g e in h u m a n s . Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 16, 6 8 1 — 7 3 5 . D u n b a r , R. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . Grooming, gossip, and the evolution of language. C a m b r i d g e ,

M A : Harvard University P r e s s . D u n n i n g , D . , M e y e r o w i t z , J. A . , 8c H o l z b e r g , A. D. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . A m b i g u i t y and self-evaluation: T h e role of i d i o s y n c r a t i c trait d e f i n i t i o n s in self-serving a s s e s s m e n t s of ability.

In Heuristics and biases: The psychology of intuitive

judgment, (pp. 324—333). C a m b r i d g e , U K : C a m b r i d g e University Press. D u r k h e i m , E. ( 1 9 5 1 / 1 8 9 7 ) . Suicide. (J. A. S p a l d i n g 8c G. S i m p s o n , Trans.) N e w York: Free Press. D u r k h e i m , E. ( 1 9 6 5 / 1 9 1 5). The elementary forms of the religious life. Q. W. S w a i n ,

Trans.) N e w York: Free P r e s s . E k m a n , P., S o r e n s e n , E., 8c F r i e s e n , W. V. ( 1 9 6 9 ) . Pan-cultural e l e m e n t s in the facial displays of e m o t i o n . Science, 164, 86—88. Elder, G. H . , Jr. ( 1 9 7 4 ) . Children of the great depression. C h i c a g o : University of Chicago Press. Elder, G . H . ( 1 9 9 8 ) . T h e life c o u r s e a n d h u m a n d e v e l o p m e n t . I n R . M . Lerner ( E d . ) , Handbook of child psychology. Vol.

1, Theoretical models of human de-

velopment (pp. 939—991). N e w York: Wiley. Eliade,

M.

(1959/1957).

The sacred and

the profane:

The nature of religion,

(W. R . Task, Trans.). S a n D i e g o , C A : H a r c o u r t B r a c e . Emerson, R. W. ( 1 9 6 0 a / 1 8 3 8 ) . T h e divinity school address. In S. Whicher (Ed.), Selections from Ralph Waldo Emerson ( p p . 100—1 16). B o s t o n : H o u g h t o n Mifflin.

E m e r s o n , R. W. ( 1 9 6 0 b / 1 8 3 8 ) . N a t u r e . In S. W h i c h e r ( E d . ) , Selections from Ralph Waldo Emerson ( p p . 21—56). B o s t o n : H o u g h t o n Mifflin. E m m o n s , R. A. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . The psychology of ultimate ccmcems: Motivation and spir-

ituality in personality. N e w York: G u i l f o r d . E m m o n s , R. A. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Personal goals, life m e a n i n g , and virtue: Wellsprings of a positive life. In C. L. M. K e y e s 8c J. H a i d t ( E d s . ) , Flourishing: Positive psychology and the life well-lived (pp. 105—128). W a s h i n g t o n D C : American Psychological A s s o c i a t i o n . E m m o n s , R. A., 8c M c C u l l o u g h , M. E. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . C o u n t i n g b l e s s i n g s versus burd e n s : An experimental investigation of g r a t i t u d e and s u b j e c t i v e well-being in daily l i f e . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 8 4 , 3 7 7 — 3 8 9 .

E p i c t e t u s ( 1 9 8 3 / l s t — 2 n d c e n t . CE). The manual. ( N . W h i t e , Trans.). Indianapolis, I N : H a c k e t t . E p i c u r u s ( 1 9 6 3 / c . 2 9 0 BCE). The philosophy of Epicurus. ( G . K. S t r o d a c h , Trans.). C h i c a g o : N o r t h w e s t e r n University P r e s s .

References 26 7 F.pley, N . , & C a r u s o , E. M. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . E g o c e n t r i c ethics. Social Justice Research, 17,

171-187.

I'.pley, N . , & Dunning, D. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . Feeling "holier than thou": Are self-serving ass e s s m e n t s p r o d u c e d by errors in self- or social prediction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 7 9 , 8 6 1 — 8 7 5 .

F.rikson, E. H. ( 1 9 6 3 / 1 9 5 0 . ) Childhood and society. ( 2 n d ed.). N e w York: N o r t o n . F a d i m a n , J . , 8c Frager, R. ( E d s . ) . ( 1 9 9 7 ) . Essential Sufism. S a n F r a n c i s c o : HarperSanFrancisco. I'azio, R. H„ S a n b o n m a t s u , D. M . , Powell, M. C . , 8c K a r d e s , F. R. ( 1 9 8 6 ) . On the a u t o m a t i c evaluation of attitudes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50, 2 2 9 - 2 3 8 . I'eeney, J. A., 8c Noller, P. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . Adult attachment. T h o u s a n d O a k s , C A : S a g e . I 'einberg, T. E. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . Altered egos: How the brain creates the self. N e w York: O x -

ford University P r e s s . ' s Feingold, A. ( 1 9 9 2 ) . G o o d looking p e o p l e a r e not what we think. Psychological Bulletin, 1 1 1 , 3 0 4 - 3 4 1 . Feng, G. F, 8c English, J. ( E d s . ) . ( 1 9 7 2 ) . Tao Te Ching. N e w York: R a n d o m H o u s e . I 'enton, T. ( 2 0 0 5 . ) Bad news: The decline of reporting, the business of news, and

the danger to us all. N e w York: Regan B o o k s . I 'isher, H. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . Why we love: The nature and chemistry of romantic love. N e w

York: Henry Holt. Fitzgerald, J . M . ( 1 9 8 8 ) . Vivid m e m o r i e s a n d t h e r e m i n i s c e n c e p h e n o m e n o n : T h e role of a self-narrative. Human Development, 3 1 , 261—273. F l a n a g a n , O. ( 1 9 9 1 . ) Varieties of moral personality: Ethics and psychological real-

ism. C a m b r i d g e , M A : Harvard University Press. I leeson, W., M a l a n o s , A. B., 8c Achille, N. M. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . An intraindividual proc e s s a p p r o a c h to the relationship b e t w e e n extraversion a n d positive a f f e c t : Is acting extraverted as " g o o d " as b e i n g extraverted? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 8 3 , 1 4 0 9 - 1 4 2 2 . F r a n k , R. H. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . Luxury fever: Why money fails to satisfy in an era of excess.

N e w \ o r k : Free Press. F r a n k , R. H. ( 1 9 8 8 ) . Passions within reason: The strategic role of the emotions.

N e w York: Norton. Frankl, V. E. ( 1 9 8 4 ) . Man's search for meaning. N e w York: Pocket B o o k s . Franklin, B. ( 1 9 6 2 / c . 1 7 9 1 ) . Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. N e w York: MacMillan. Franklin,

B.

(1980/1733-1758).

Poor Richard's Almanack

Vernon, NY: Peter Pauper Press.

(selections).

Mount

References

274

Frederick, S . , & L o e w e n s t e i n , G. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . F l e d o n i c a d a p t a t i o n . In D. K a h n e m a n , E. D i e n e r & N. S c h w a r t z ( E d s . ) , Well-being: The foundations of hedonic psychology (pp. 302—329). N e w York: R u s s e l l S a g e . Fredrickson, B. L. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . W h a t g o o d a r e positive e m o t i o n s ? Review of General Psychology, 2, 3 0 0 - 3 1 9 . Fredrickson, B. L. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . T h e role of positive e m o t i o n s in positive psychology: T h e broaden-and-build theory of positive e m o t i o n s . American Psyclwlogist, 56, 2 1 8 - 2 2 6 . Freitas, A. L., a n d Higgins, E. T. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . Enjoying goal-directed action: T h e role of r e g u l a t o r y fit. Psychological Science,

1 3 , 1—6.

Freud, S. ( 1 9 7 6 / 1 9 0 0 ) . The interpretation of dreams. (J. Strachey, Trans.) N e w York: N o r t o n . Gallup, G. (1982). Self-awareness and the emergence of mind in primates. American Journal of Primatology,

2,

237—248.

Gardner, H . , Csikszentmihalyi, M . , 8c D a m o n , W. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . Good work: When excellence and ethics meet. N e w York: B a s i c B o o k s . Gazzaniga, M. S. ( 1 9 8 5 ) . The social brain. N e w York: B a s i c - B o o k s . Gazzaniga, M. S., Bogen, J. E . , 8c Sperry, R. W. ( 1 9 6 2 ) . S o m e functional e f f e c t s of sectioning the cerebral c o m m i s s u r e s in m a n . Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences,

USA,

48,

1765-1769.

Geertz, C . ( 1 9 7 3 ) . T h i c k d e s c r i p t i o n : T o w a r d a n interpretive theory o f culture. In C. G e e r t z ( E d . ) , The interpretation of cultures. N e w York: B a s i c Books. G e r s h o n , M. D. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . The second brain. N e w York: H a r p e r C o l l i n s . G i b b a r d , A. ( 1 9 9 0 ) . Wise choices, apt feelings. C a m b r i d g e , M A : Harvard University Press. G i b r a n , K. ( 1 9 7 7 / 1 9 2 3 ) . The prophet. N e w York: Alfred A. K n o p f . G l a d w e l l , M. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . The tipping point: How little things can make a big differ-

ence. N e w York: Little Brown. Gladwell,

M. ( 2 0 0 5 ) . Blink:

The power of thinking without thinking.

N e w York:

Little, Brown. G l a s s , D. C . , 8c S i n g e r , J. E. ( 1 9 7 2 ) . Urban stress; Experiments on noise and social

stressors. N e w York: A c a d e m i c P r e s s . G l o v e r , J.

(2000).

Humanity: A

moral

history of the twentieth

century.

New

H a v e n , C T : Yale University P r e s s . G o l d e n b e r g , J. L . , Pyszczynski, T., G r e e n b e r g , J . , M c C o y , S. K., 8c S o l o m o n , S. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . D e a t h , sex, love, a n d n e u r o t i c i s m : W h y is sex s u c h a p r o b l e m ? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 7 7 , 1 1 73—1 1 8 7 .

Goldenberg, J. L., Pyszczynski, T., G r e e n b e r g , J., S o l o m o n , S . , Kluck, B., & Cornwell, R. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . 1 am N O T an animal: Mortality salience, disgust, and the

References 26 7 d e n i a l of h u m a n c r e a t u r e l i n e s s . Journal of Experimental Psychology:

General,

130, 4 2 7 - 4 3 5 . G o t t m a n , J. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . Why marriages succeed or fail. N e w York: S i m o n & S c h u s t e r . G r a h a m , J., a n d H a i d t , J. ( m a n u s c r i p t in preparation). The implicit and explicit moral values of liberals and conservatives.

U n i v e r s i t y of V i r g i n i a ,

D e p t . of

Psychology. Gray, J. A. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . F r a m e w o r k for a taxonomy of psychiatric disorder. In S. I I . M. van G o o z e n & N. E. Van de Poll ( E d s . ) , Emotions: Essays on emotion theory (pp. 29—59). Hillsdale, N J : L a w r e n c e E r l b a u m . Gray, J. G. ( 1 9 7 0 / 1 9 5 9 ) . 7Tie Warriors: Reflections of men in battle. N e w York: Harper & Row. G r o b , C . S . , & d e Rios, M . D . ( 1 9 9 4 ) . H a l l u c i n o g e n s , m a n a g e d s t a t e s o f c o n s c i o u s n e s s , a n d a d o l e s c e n t s : C r o s s - c u l t u r a l p e r s p e c t i v e s . In P. K. B o c k ( E d . ) , Psychological Anthropology (pp. 315—329). Westport, C T : Praeger. G r o s s , J., 8c H a i d t , J. ( 2 0 0 5 ) . T h e morality a n d politics of self-change,. U n p u b lished m a n u s c r i p t , University of Virginia. G u t h , W., Schmittberger, R., a n d S c h w a r z e , B. ( 1 9 8 2 ) . An e x p e r i m e n t a l a n a l y s i s of u l t i m a t u m

b a r g a i n i n g . Journal

of Economic

Behavior and

Organization,

3, 3 6 7 - 3 8 8 . Guyer, P. ( E d . ) . ( 1 9 9 2 ) . The Cambridge companion to Kant. C a m b r i d g e , U K : C a m b r i d g e University Press. I laidt, J. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . T h e e m o t i o n a l d o g a n d its rational tail: A social intuitionist app r o a c h to moral j u d g m e n t . Psychological Review, 108, 814—834. I laidt, J. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Elevation and the positive psychology of morality. In C. L. M. K e y e s a n d J. H a i d t ( E d s . ) , Flourishing: Positive psychology and the life well-

lived (pp. 275—289). Washington, D C : A m e r i c a n Psychological A s s o c i a t i o n . I laidt, J., Koller, S., and Dias, M. (1993). Affect, culture, and morality, or is it w r o n g to e a t y o u r d o g ? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 6 5 , 6 1 3 — 6 2 8 .

I laidt, J., Rozin, P., M c C a u l e y , C. R., 8c I m a d a , S. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . Body, p s y c h e , a n d culture: T h e relationship b e t w e e n d i s g u s t a n d morality. Psychology and Developing Societies, 9,

107—131.

I laidt, J., 8c Rodin, J. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . Control and e f f i c a c y as interdisciplinary b r i d g e s . Review of General Psychology, 3, 3 1 7 — 3 3 7 .

I laidt, J., 8c Hersh, M. A. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . Sexual morality: T h e cultures and r e a s o n s of libe r a l s a n d c o n s e r v a t i v e s . Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 3 1 , 1 9 1 — 2 2 1.

I laidt, J., Rosenberg, E., 8c Horn, H. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Differentiating diversities: M o r a l diversity is not like other kinds. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 3 3 , 1—36. I laidt, J., 8c J o s e p h , C. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . Intuitive e t h i c s : Flow innately p r e p a r e d intuitions g e n e r a t e culturally variable virtues. Daedalus (Fall), 55—66.

References

276

Haidt, J., & Keltner, D. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . A p p r e c i a t i o n of b e a u t y a n d e x c e l l e n c e . In C. Pet e r s o n a n d M. E. P. S e l i g m a n ( E d s . ) , Character strengths and virtues (pp. 537—551). W a s h i n g t o n , D C : A m e r i c a n Psychological Association. H a i d t , J., & Bjorklund, F. (in p r e s s ) . S o c i a l intuitionists a n s w e r six q u e s t i o n s a b o u t morality. In W. S i n n o t t - A r m s t r o n g ( E d . ) , Moral •psychology. Vol. 2, The cognitive science of morality. H a m e r , D. H. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . The God gene: How faith is hard-wired into our genes. N e w

York: Doubleday. H a m i l t o n , W. D. ( 1 9 6 4 ) . T h e genetical evolution of social behavior, parts 1 and 2. Journal of Theoretical Biology, 7,

1—52.

H a n s e n , C. ( 1 9 9 1 ) . C l a s s i c a l C h i n e s e E t h i c s . In P. S i n g e r ( E d . ) , A companion to ethics ( p p . 6 9 - 8 1 ) . O x f o r d , U K : Basil Blackwell. Hare, R. D. ( 1 9 9 3 ) . Without conscience. N e w York: Pocket B o o k s . Harker, L., 8c Keltner, D. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . E x p r e s s i o n s of positive emotion in women's college yearbook p i c t u r e s a n d their relationship to personality and life outc o m e s a c r o s s a d u l t h o o d . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,

80,

112-124. Harlow, H. F. ( 1 9 7 1 ) . Learning to love. S a n F r a n c i s c o , C A : Albion. Harlow, H. F., Harlow, M. K., 8c Meyer, D. R. ( 1 9 5 0 ) . L e a r n i n g motivated by a manipulation drive. Journal of Experimental Psychology, 4 0 , 228—234. Harlow, H. F., 8c Z i m m e r m a n , R. ( 1 9 5 9 ) . A f f e c t i o n a l r e s p o n s e s in the infant monkey. Science, 130, 421—432. Harris, J. R. ( 1 9 9 5 ) . W h e r e is t h e child's e n v i r o n m e n t ? A g r o u p socialization theory of d e v e l o p m e n t . Psychological Review, 102, 458—489. Hazan, C . , 8c Shaver, P. ( 1 9 8 7 ) . R o m a n t i c love c o n c e p t u a l i z e d as an a t t a c h m e n t p r o c e s s . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 5 2 , 51 1—524.

Hazan, C . , 8c Z e i f m a n , D. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . Pair b o n d s as a t t a c h m e n t s . In J. C a s s i d y & P. R.

S h a v e r ( E d s . ) , Handbook of attachment:

Theory,

research, and applica-

tions (pp. 3 3 6 - 3 5 4 ) . N e w York: G u i l f o r d . H e i n e , S. J . , 8c L e h m a n , D. R. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . C u l t u r e , s e l f - d i s c r e p a n c i e s , a n d selfs a t i s f a c t i o n . Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 2 5 , 9 1 5 — 9 2 5 . H e l s o n , H. ( 1 9 6 4 ) . Adaptation level theory: An experimental and systematic ap-

proach to behavior. N e w York: H a r p e r 8c Row. Hick, J. ( 1 9 6 7 ) . T h e p r o b l e m of evil. In P. E d w a r d s ( E d . ) , The Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Vols. 3 8c 4 ( p p . 1 3 6 - 1 4 1 ) . N e w York: M a c m i l l a n . Hill, K., 8c H u r t a d o , A. M. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . Ache life history. N e w York: Aldine de Gruyter. Hollon, S. D., & B e c k , A. T. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . C o g n i t i v e a n d cognitive-behavioral therapies. In A. E. Bergin 8c S. L. G a r f i e l d ( E d s . ) , Handbook of psychotherapy and behavior change (4th e d . ) . N e w York: Wiley.

References 26 7 I lollon, S. D . , D e R u b e i s , R. J., Shelton, R. C . , & Weiss, B. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . T h e e m p e r o r ' s new drugs: E f f e c t size a n d moderation e f f e c t s . Prevention and Treatment, 5, n.p. I lolmes, O. W., Jr. ( 1 8 9 1 ) . Speeches. B o s t o n : Little, Brown. I lorn, H . , 8c Haidt, J. (in preparation). T h e b o n d i n g a n d norming f u n c t i o n s of gossip. U n p u b l i s h e d m a n u s c r i p t , University of Virginia. I loorens, V. ( 1 9 9 3 ) . S e l f - e n h a n c e m e n t a n d superiority b i a s e s in social c o m p a r isons. In Vol. 4 of W. S t r o b e 8c M. H e w s t o n e ( E d s . ) , European review of social psychology (pp. 1 1 3—1 39). C h i c h e s t e r , U K : J o h n Wiley. I l u m e , D. ( 1 9 6 9 / 1 7 3 9 ) . A treatise of human nature. L o n d o n : Penguin. I lunter, J. D. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . The death of character: Moral education in an age xvithout

good and evil. N e w York: B a s i c Books. Irving, W. ( 1 9 7 6 ) . George Washington: A biography. C h a r l e s N e i d e r ( E d . ) . G a r d e n City, NY: Doubleday. Isen, A. M . , & Levin, P. E ( 1 9 7 2 ) . E f f e c t of f e e l i n g good on helping: C o o k i e s a n d k i n d n e s s . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2 1 , 3 8 4 — 3 8 8 .

Isen, A. M . , 8c S i m m o n d s , S. ( 1 9 7 8 ) . l i n e e f f e c t of feeling good on a h e l p i n g task that is i n c o m p a t i b l e with good m o o d . Social Psychology, 4 1 , 346—349. I to, T. A., 8c C a c i o p p o , J. T. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . T h e psychophysiology of utility appraisals. In D. Kahneman, E. Diener, and N. Schwarz (Eds.), Well-being: The foundations ofhedonic psychology (pp. 470—488). N e w York: Russell S a g e Foundation. Iyengar, S. S . , 8c Lepper, M. R. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . W h e n c h o i c e is demotivating: C a n o n e d e s i r e too m u c h of a good thing? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 7 9 , 9 9 5 - 1 0 0 6 . |nmes, W. ( 1 9 5 0 / 1 8 9 0 ) . The principles of psychology. Vol. 2. N e w York: Dover. lames, W. ( 1 9 6 1 / 1 9 0 2 ) . The varieties of religious experience. N e w York: M a c m i l l a n . lames/>J. M . , 8c Bolstein, R. ( 1 9 9 2 ) . E f f e c t of m o n e t a r y incentives a n d f o l l o w - u p mailings on the r e s p o n s e rate a n d r e s p o n s e quality in mail surveys. Public Opinion Quarterly,

54, 442—453.

lankowiak, W. R., 8c Fischer, E. F. ( 1 9 9 2 ) . A cross-cultural p e r s p e c t i v e on romantic love. Ethnology, 3 1 , 149—155. lelferson, T. ( 1 9 7 5 / 1 7 7 1 ) . Letter to Robert Skipwith. In M. D. Peterson ( E d . ) , The portable Thomas Jefferson (pp. 349—351). N e w York: Penguin. Inlien, R. M. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . A primer of drug action. (8th ed.). N e w York: W. H. F r e e m a n . lung, C. G. ( 1 9 6 3 ) . Memories, dreams, reflections. N e w York: Pantheon. K a g a n , J. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . Galen's prophecy: Temperament in human nature.

N e w York:

Basic B o o k s . kagan, J. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Biology, context, and d e v e l o p m e n t a l inquiry. Annual Review of Psychology, 5 4 , 1—23.

278

References

K a h n e m a n , D . , & Tversky, A. ( 1 9 7 9 ) . P r o s p e c t theory: Ah analysis of decisions under risk. Econometrica, 4 7 , 263—291. Kant, I. ( 1 9 5 9 / 1 7 8 5 ) . Fcmndation of the metaphysics of morals. ( L . W. Beck, Trans.) Indianapolis, I N : Bobbs-Merrill. K a p l a n , H. R. ( 1 9 7 8 ) . Lottery winners: How they won and how winning changed

their lives. N e w York: H a r p e r a n d Row. K a s s , L. R. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . The hungry soul: Eating and the perfecting of our nature.

C h i c a g o : University of C h i c a g o . Kasser, T. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . The high price of materialism. C a m b r i d g e , M A : M I T Press. Kasser, T., 8c Ryan, R. M. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . F u r t h e r e x a m i n i n g the A m e r i c a n d r e a m : Differential correlates of intrinsic a n d extrinsic goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin,

22, 2 8 0 - 2 8 7 .

Keller, H. ( 1 9 3 8 ) . Helen Keller's journal. G a r d e n City, NY: Doubleday. Keltner, D., & H a i d t , J. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . A p p r o a c h i n g a w e , a moral, spiritual, and aesthetic emotion. Cognition and Emotion, 17, 297—314. Keyes, C. L. M . , 8c H a i d t , J. ( E d s . ) . ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Flourishing: Positive psychology and the life well lived. W a s h i n g t o n , D C : A m e r i c a n Psychological Association. King, L . A . ( 2 0 0 1 ) . T h e h a r d road t o the good life: T h e happy, m a t u r e person, Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 4 1 ,

51—72.

Klemke, E. D. ( E d . ) . ( 2 0 0 0 ) . The meaning of life. ( 2 n d ed.). N e w York: Oxford University Press. K o h n , M. L . , a n d S c h o o l e r , C. ( 1 9 8 3 ) . Work and personality: An inquiry into the impact of social stratification. N o r w o o d , N J : A b l e x .

Kosfeld, M . , H e i n r i c h s , M . , Zak, P. J., F i s c h b a c h e r , U . , 8c Fehr, E. ( 2 0 0 5 ) . Oxytocin i n c r e a s e s trust in h u m a n s . Nature, 4 3 5 , 673—676. Koslowsky, M . , 8c Kluger, A. N. ( 1 9 9 5 ) . Commuting stress. N e w York: Plenum. Kramer, P. D. ( 1 9 9 3 ) . Listening to Prozac. N e w York: Viking. Kuhn, D. ( 1 9 9 1 ) . The skills of argument. C a m b r i d g e , U K : C a m b r i d g e Universily Press. Kunda, Z. ( 1 9 9 0 ) . T h e c a s e for m o t i v a t e d reasoning. Psychological Bulletin, 108, 480-498. . Kunz, P. R., 8c Woolcott, M. ( 1 9 7 6 ) . S e a s o n ' s greetings: from my status to yours. Social Science Research,

5, 2 6 9 — 2 7 8 .

LaBar, K. S . , 8c L e D o u x , J. E. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . E m o t i o n a l l e a r n i n g circuits in animals a n d h u m a n s . In R. J. D a v i d s o n , K. R. S c h e r e r 8c H. H. G o l d s m i t h (Eds.), Handbook of affective sciences (pp. 52—65). Oxford, U K : O x f o r d Universily Press. Laertius, D. ( 1 9 2 5 / 3 r d c e n t . CE). Lives of eminent philosophers. (R. D. Hicks, Trans.) L o n d o n : H e i n e m a n n .

References 26 7 Lakin, J. L., arid C h a r t r a n d , T. L. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . U s i n g n o n c o n s c i o u s behavioral m i m icry to c r e a t e affiliation a n d rapport. Psychological Science, 14, 334—3 3 9 . Lakoff, G . , 8c J o h n s o n , M. ( 1 9 8 0 ) . Metaphors we live by. C h i c a g o : University of Chicago Press. Lakoff, G . , 8c J o h n s o n , M. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . Philosophy in theflesh. N e w York: Basic B o o k s . I .anger, E. J., 8c Rodin, J. ( 1 9 7 6 ) . T h e e f f e c t s of c h o i c e a n d e n h a n c e d p e r s o n a l responsibility for the aged: A field experiment in an institutional setting. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 3 4 , 1 9 1 — 1 9 8 .

Lazarus, R. S . , 8c Folkman, S. ( 1 9 8 4 ) . Stress, appraisal, and coping. N e w York: Springer. Leakey, R. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . The origin of humankind. N e w York: B a s i c B o o k s . I .eary, M. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . The curse of the self: Self-awareness, egotism, and the quality of

human life. Oxford, U K : Oxford University Press. Le C o n t e , J. ( 1 8 9 2 ) . Evolution: Its nature, its evidences, and its relation to reli-

gious thought. (2nd ed.). N e w York: D. Appleton. L e D o u x , J. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . The Emotional Brain. N e w York: S i m o n 8c S c h u s t e r . Lerner, M. J . , 8c Miller, D. T. ( 1 9 7 8 ) . J u s t world research a n d the attribution p r o c e s s : L o o k i n g b a c k a n d a h e a d . Psychological Bulletin, 8 5 , 1030—105 1. I .eys, S. ( E d . ) . ( 1 9 9 7 ) . The analects of Confucius. N e w York: N o r t o n . I . i c h t h e i m , M. ( 1 9 7 6 ) . Ancient egyptial literature: A book of readings. Vol. 2, The

new kingdom. Berkeley: University of California. Lorenz, K. J. ( 1 9 3 5 ) . D e r k u m p a n in d e r umvelt d e s vogels. Journal fur Ornithologie, 8 3 , 1 3 7 - 2 1 3 . I .ucas, R. E. ( 2 0 0 5 ) . H a p p i n e s s c a n c h a n g e : A longitudinal s t u d y of a d a p t a t i o n to disability. U n p u b l i s h e d m a n u s c r i p t . M i c h i g a n S t a t e University. L u c a s , R. E . , C l a r k , A. E., G e o r g e l l i s , Y., & Diener, E. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . R e e x a m i n i n g adaptation a n d t h e set point m o d e l of h a p p i n e s s : R e a c t i o n s to c h a n g e s in m a r i t a l s t a t u s . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 8 4 , 5 2 7 — 5 3 9 .

I .ucas, R. E . , 8c Dyrenforth, P. S. (in p r e s s ) . D o e s the e x i s t e n c e of social relationships m a t t e r for subjective well-being? In K. D. Vohs 8c E. J. Finkel (Eds.),

Intrapersonal processes and interpersonal relationships:

Two

halves,

one self. N e w York: G u l f o r d . I .ucas, R. E., 8 c G o h m , C . L. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . A g e a n d sex d i f f e r e n c e s in s u b j e c t i v e wellbeing a c r o s s cultures. In E. D i e n e r 8c E. M. S u h ( E d s . ) , Culture and subjective well-being (pp. 2 9 1 — 3 1 8 ) . C a m b r i d g e , M A : M I T p r e s s . I ncretius. ( 1 9 7 7 / c . 59 BCE). Ihe nature of things. (F. O. Copley, Trans.) N e w York: Norton. I .vkken, D. T. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . Happiness: What studies on twins show us about nature,

nurture, and the happiness set-point. N e w York: G o l d e n B o o k s .

280

References

Lykken, D. T., M c G u e , M . , Tellegen, A . , 8c B o u c h a r d , T. J. ( 1 9 9 2 ) . E m e r g e n e s i s : G e n e t i c traits that m a y not r u n in f a m i l i e s . American Psychologist, 4 7 , 1565-1577. Lykken, D. T., 8c Tellegen, A. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . H a p p i n e s s is a s t o c h a s t i c p h e n o m e n o n . Psychological Science,

7,

186—189.

Lynn, M . , 8 c M c C a l l , M . ( 1 9 9 8 ) . B e y o n d g r a t i t u d e a n d gratuity. U n p u b lished m a n u s c r i p t , C o r n e l l University, S c h o o l o f H o t e l A d m i n i s t r a t i o n , Ithaca, NY. Lyte, M . , Varcoe, J. J., 8c Bailey, M. T. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . Anxiogenic e f f e c t of subclinical bacterial i n f e c t i o n i n m i c e i n t h e a b s e n c e o f overt i m m u n e activation. Physiology and behavior, 6 5 , 6 3 — 6 8 .

Lyubomirsky, S . , King, L., 8c Diener, E. (in p r e s s ) . T h e b e n e f i t s of f r e q u e n t positive a f f e c t : D o e s h a p p i n e s s lead to s u c c e s s ? Psychological Bulletin. Lyubomirsky, S . , S h e l d o n , K. M . , 8c S c h k a d e , D. (in press). P u r s u i n g happiness: T h e a r c h i t e c t u r e of s u s t a i n a b l e c h a n g e . Rexrieiv of General Psychology. Machiavelli, N. ( 1 9 4 0 / c . 1 5 1 7 ) . The prince and the discourses. ( L . Ricci 8c C. E. D e t m o l d , Trans.). N e w York: M o d e r n Library. M a c l n t y r e , A. ( 1 9 8 1 ) . After virtue. N o t r e D a m e , I N : University of N o t r e D a m e Press. M a r c u s , G. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . The birth of the mind. N e w York: B a s i c B o o k s . Margolis, H. ( 1 9 8 7 ) . Patterns, thinking, and cognition. C h i c a g o : University of C h i c a g o Press. M a r k u s , H. R., 8c Kitayama, S. ( 1 9 9 1 ) . C u l t u r e a n d the self: Implications for cognition, emotion, a n d motivation. Psychological Review, 9 8 , 224—253. Marx, K. ( 1 9 7 7 / 1 8 6 7 ) . Capital: A critique of political economy. N e w York: Vintage. M a s c a r o , J. ( E d . and Trans.). ( 1 9 6 5 ) . The Upanishads. L o n d o n : Penguin. M a s c a r o , J. ( E d . and Trans.). ( 1 9 7 3 ) . The Dhammapada. H a r m o n d s w o r t h , UK: Penguin. Maslow, A. H. ( 1 9 6 4 ) . Religions, values, and peak-experiences. C o l u m b u s , O H : O h i o S t a t e University Press. M a s t e k a a s a , A. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . Marital s t a t u s , d i s t r e s s , a n d well-being: An international c o m p a r i s o n . Journal of Comparative Family Studies, 2 5 ,

183—205.

M c A d a m s , D. P. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . C a n personality c h a n g e ? Levels of stability and growdi in personality across the life s p a n . In T. F. Heatherton 8c J. L. Weinberger ( E d s . ) , Can personality change? (pp. 299—3 1 3). Washington, D C : American Psychological Association. M c A d a m s , D. P. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . T h e psychology of life stories. Review of General Psychology, 5, 1 0 0 - 1 2 2 .

References 26 7 M c C r a t y , R., a n d C h i l d r e , D . ( 2 0 0 4 ) . T h e grateful heart: T h e p s y c h o p h y s i o l o g y of appreciation. In R. A. E m m o n s a n d M. E. M c C u l l o u g h ( E d s . ) , The psychology of gratitude (pp. 230—255). N e w York: Oxford. M c C u l l o u g h , M. E., Hoyt, W. T., Larson, D. B., Koenig, H. G . , & T h o r e s e n , C. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . Religious involvement a n d mortality: A meta-analytic review. Health Psychology, 1 , 2 1 1 - 2 2 2 . M c N e i l l , W. H. ( 1 9 9 5 ) . Keeping together in time: Dance and drill in human his-

tory. C a m b r i d g e , M A . : Harvard University Press. M e i c h e n b a u m , D. ( 1 9 8 5 ) . Stress innoculation training. N e w "fork: P e r g a m o n . M e t c a l f e , J., 8c M i s c h e l , W. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . A hot/cool-system analysis of delay of gratification: D y n a m i c s of willpower. Psychological Review, 106, 3—19. Miller, N. E. ( 1 9 4 4 ) . Experimental s t u d i e s of conflict. In J. M. H u n t ( E d . ) , Personality and the behavior disorders. N e w York: R o n a l d P r e s s . Miller, W. I. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . The anatomy of disgust. C a m b r i d g e , M A : Harvard University Press. Miller, W. R., 8c C ' d e B a c a , J. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . Quantum Change. N e w York: G u i l f o r d . M i t h e n , S . ( 2 0 0 0 ) . M i n d , brain a n d material culture: A n archaeological p e r s p e c tive. In P. C a r r u t h e r s a n d A. C h a m b e r l a i n ( E d s . ) , Evolution and the human mind (pp. 207—217), C a m b r i d g e : C a m b r i d g e University P r e s s . M o n t a i g n e , M. ( 1 9 9 1 / 1 5 8 8 ) . The complete essays. ( M . A. S c r e e c h , E d . 8c T r a n s . ) . L o n d o n : Penguin. M o s s , C.

(1998).

Elephant Memories: Thirteen years in the life of an elephant

family. N e w York: William Morrow. Mroczek, D. K., 8c Spiro, A. ( 2 0 0 5 ) . C h a n g e in life s a t i s f a c t i o n d u r i n g a d u l t hood: F i n d i n g s from the veterans affairs normative a g i n g study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 8 8 ,

189—202.

Myers, D. G. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . T h e f u n d s , friends, a n d faith of happy p e o p l e . American Psychologist, 55, 5 6 - 6 7 . N a k a m u r a , J., a n d Csikszentmihalyi, M . ( 2 0 0 3 ) . T h e c o n s t r u c t i o n o f m e a n i n g through vital e n g a g e m e n t . In C. L. M. K e y e s a n d J. H a i d t ( E d s . ) , Flourishing: Positive psychology and the life well-lived ( p p . 8 3 — 1 0 4 ) . W a s h i n g t o n ,

D C : A m e r i c a n Psychological A s s o c i a t i o n . Nestler, E. J., H y m a n , S. E., 8c M a l e n k a , R. C. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . Molecular neuropharmacology: A foundation for clinical neuroscience.

N e w York:

McGraw-Hill.

N e w b e r g , A., D'Aquili, E., & R a u s e , V. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . Why God won't go away: Brain science and the biology of belief. N e w York: B a l l a n t i n e .

Nietzsche, F. ( 1 9 9 7 / 1 8 8 9 ) . Twilight of the idols. (R. Polt, T r a n s . ) I n d i a n a p o l i s , I N : Flackett.

282

References

N o l e n - H o e k s e m a , S . , 8c D a v i s , C . G . ( 2 0 0 2 ) . Positive r e s p o n s e s to loss. In C . R. S n y d e r 8 c S . J . L o p e z ( E d s . ) , Handbook of •positive psychology ( p p . 5 9 8 — 6 0 7 ) . N e w York: Oxford. N o s e k , B. A., Banaji, M. R . , 8c G r e e n w a l d , A. G. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . H a r v e s t i n g intergroup implicit a t t i t u d e s a n d beliefs from a d e m o n s t r a t i o n w e b site. Gnnip Dynamics, 6, 1 0 1 — 1 1 5 .

N o s e k , B. A., G r e e n w a l d , A. G . , 8c Banaji, M. R. (in p r e s s ) . T h e Implicit Association Test at a g e 7: A m e t h o d o l o g i c a l a n d c o n c e p t u a l review. In J. A. Bargh ( E d . ) , Automatic processes in social

thinking and behavior.

Philadelphia:

Psychology P r e s s . „ N u s s b a u m , M . C . ( 2 0 0 1 ) . Upheavals o f thought. C a m b r i d g e , U K : C a m b r i d g e University P r e s s . O ' C o n n o r , E. ( E d . 8c T r a n s . ) . ( 1 9 9 3 ) . The essential Epicurus. A m h e r s t , NY: P r o m e t h e u s Books. Obeyesekere, G. ( 1 9 8 5 ) . D e p r e s s i o n , B u d d h i s m , and work of culture in Sri Lanka. In A. Klineman 8c B. G o o d ( E d s . ) , Culture and depression, (pp. 134—152). Berkeley: University of California Press. O l d s , J . , 8c M i l n e r , P. ( 1 9 5 4 ) . P o s i t i v e r e i n f o r c e m e n t p r o d u c e d by electrical stimulation of septal areas a n d other regions of rat b r a i n s . Journal of Comparative and Physiological Psychology, 4 7 , 4 1 9 — 4 2 7 .

Ovid ( 2 0 0 4 / c . 10 CE). Metamorphoses. ( D . R a e b u r n , T r a n s . ) . L o n d o n : Penguin. P a c h o c i n s k i , R. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . Proverbs of Africa: Human nature in the Nigerian oral tra-

dition. St. Paul, M N : P r o f e s s o r s World P e a c e A c a d e m y . Pahnke, W. N. ( 1 9 6 6 ) . D r u g s a r > d m y s t i c i s m . International Joumcd of Parapsychology, 8, 2 9 5 - 3 1 3 . P a n t h a n a t h a n , K., a n d B o y d , R. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . Indirect r e c i p r o c i t y c a n stabilize coo p e r a t i o n w i t h o u t t h e s e c o n d - o r d e r f r e e rider p r o b l e m . Nature, 4 3 2 , 499-502. Park, C . L., C o h e n , L . , 8 c M u r c h , R . ( 1 9 9 6 ) . A s s e s s m e n t a n d p r e d i c t i o n o f stress-related growth .Journal of Personality, 6 4 , 71—105. P e l h a m , B . W., M i r e n b e r g , M . C . , 8 c J o n e s , J . K . ( 2 0 0 2 ) . W h y S u s i e sells s e a s h e l l s by the s e a s h o r e : Implicit e g o t i s m and m a j o r life d e c i s i o n s . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 8 2 , 4 6 9 — 4 8 7 . P e n n e b a k e r , J. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . Opening up: The healing power of expressing emotions

(Rev. ed.). N e w York: G u i l f o r d . " Perkins, D. N . , Farady, M . , 8c 43ushey, B. ( 1 9 9 1 ) . Everyday r e a s o n i n g and the roots of intelligence. In J. F. Voss, D. N. Perkins 8c J. W. S e g a l ( E d s . ) , Informal reasoning and education (pp- 83—105). H i l l s d a l e , N J : E r l b a u m .

References

26 7

Peterson, C . , & S e l i g m a n , M. E. P. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . Character strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. W a s h i n g t o n , D C : A m e r i c a n Psychological A s sociation a n d O x f o r d University P r e s s . P i a g e t , J. ( 1 9 6 5 / 1 9 3 2 ) . The moral judgment of the child. ( M . G a b a i n , T r a n s . ) N e w York: F r e e Press. Piliavin, J. A. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . D o i n g well by d o i n g good: B e n e f i t s for t h e b e n e f a c t o r . In C. L. M. K e y e s a n d J. H a i d t (Eds.),,Flourishing: Positive psychology and the life well-lived (pp. 227—247). W a s h i n g t o n , D C : A m e r i c a n P s y c h o l o g i cal A s s o c i a t i o n . Pincoffs,

E.

L.

(1986).

Quandaries and virtues: Against

reductivism in

ethics.

I^awrence, K S : University of K a n s a s . Pinker, S. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . How the mind works. N e w York: N o r t o n . Pinker,

S.

(2002).

The blank slate:

The modem'denial of human nature.

New

York: Viking. Plomin, R., 8c D a n i e l s , D. ( 1 9 8 7 ) . Why a r e children in the s a m e family so d i f f e r e n t f r o m o n e a n o t h e r ? Behavioral and Brain Sciences,

1 0 , 1—60.

Pronin, E., Lin, D. Y., 8c Ross, L. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . T h e bias blind spot: Perceptions of b i a s in

self

versus

others.

Personality

and

Social

Psychology

Bulletin,

28,

369-381. P r o u s t , M. ( 1 9 9 2 a / 1 9 2 2 ) . In search of lost time. Vol. 2, Within a budding grove.

( C . K. S. M o n c r e i f f 8c T. Kilmartin, T r a n s . ) L o n d o n : C h a t t o a n d W i n d u s . P r o u s t , M. ( 1 9 9 2 b / 1 9 2 2 ) . In search of lost time. Vol. 5, The captive and the fugitive.

( C . K. S. M o n c r e i f f 8c T. Kilmartin, Trans.) L o n d o n : C h a t t o a n d W i n d u s . P u t n a m , R.

D. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . Bowling alone:

The collapse and revival of American com-

munity. N e w York: S i m o n 8c S c h u s t e r . Pyszcsynski, T., G r e e n b e r g , J., 8c S o l o m o n , S. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . Why do we w a n t what we want? A terror m a n a g e m e n t p e r s p e c t i v e on the roots of h u m a n social m o t i v a t i o n . Psychological Inquiry, 8,

1—20.

Pyszczynski, T., 8c G r e e n b e r g , J. ( 1 9 8 7 ) . T o w a r d an integration of cognitive a n d motivational p e r s p e c t i v e s on social i n f e r e n c e : A b i a s e d h y p o t h e s i s - t e s t i n g m o d e l . Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 2 0 , 2 9 7 — 3 4 0 .

Keis, H. T., 8c G a b l e , S. L. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Toward a positive psychology of r e l a t i o n s h i p s . In C. L. M. Keyes 8c J. H a i d t ( E d s . ) , Flourishing: Positive psychology and the life well-lived (pp. 129—159). Washington, D C : A m e r i c a n P s y c h o l o g i cal Association. Kicherson, P. J., 8c Boyd, R. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . T h e evolution of h u m a n ultra-sociality. In I. E i b l - E i b e s f e l d t 8c F. K. S a l t e r ( E d s . ) , Indoctrinability, ideology, and warfare: Evolutionary perspectives (pp. 71—95). N e w York: B e r g h a h n .

References

284

R i c h e r s o n , P. J . , 8c B o y d , R. ( 2 0 0 5 ) . Not by genes alone: How culture transformed

human evolution. C h i c a g o : University of C h i c a g o Press. Ridley, M. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . The origins of virtue. H a r m o n d s w o r t h , U K : Penguin. Riis, j . , L o e w e n s t e i n , G . , Baron, J . , J e p s o n , C . , Fagerlin, A., 8c U b e l , P. A. ( 2 0 0 5 ) . I g n o r a n c e of h e d o n i c a d a p t a t i o n to h e m o d i a l y s i s : A s t u d y u s i n g ecological

m o m e n t a r y a s s e s s m e n t . Journal

of Experimental

Psychology:

General,

134, 3 - 9 . Rind, B., Tromovitch, P., 8c B a u s e r m a n , R. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . A meta-analytic examination of a s s u m e d properties of child sexual a b u s e using c o l l e g e s a m p l e s . Psychological Bulletin,

1 2 4 , 22—53.

Rodin, J., 8c Langer, E. ( 1 9 7 7 ) . L o n g - t e r m e f f e c t s of a control-relevant intervention with the institutionalized a g e d . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 3 5 , 8 9 7 - 9 0 2 . Rolls, E. T. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . The brain and emotion. Oxford, U K : O x f o r d University Press. R o s s , M . , 8c Sicoly, F. ( 1 9 7 9 ) . E g o c e n t r i c b i a s e s in availability a n d attribution. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 3 7 , 3 2 2 — 3 3 6 .

Rozin, P., 8c Fallon, A. ( 1 9 8 7 ) . A p e r s p e c t i v e on d i s g u s t . Psychological Review, 94, 2 3 - 4 1 . Rozin, P., Haidt, J., M c C a u l e y , C . , 8c I m a d a , S. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . D i s g u s t : Preadaptation a n d the evolution of a f o o d - b a s e d e m o t i o n . In H. M a c B e t h ( E d . ) , Food preferences and taste (pp. 65—82). P r o v i d e n c e , RI: B e r g h a h n . Rozin, P., Haidt, J . , 8c M c C a u l e y , C. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . D i s g u s t . In M. L e w i s and J. M. H a v i l a n d - J o n e s ( E d s . ) , Handbook of emotions (pp. 637—653). N e w York: Guilford Press. Rozin, P., and R o y z m a n , E. B. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . Negativity b i a s , negativity d o m i n a n c e , a n d c o n t a g i o n . Personality and Social Psychology Review, 5, 2 9 6 — 3 2 0 . R u s s e l l , J. B. ( 1 9 8 8 ) . The prince of darkness: Radical evil and the power of good in

history. Ithaca, NY: Cornell University P r e s s . Ryan, R. M . , and D e c i , E. L. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . S e l f - d e t e r m i n a t i o n theory a n d the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social d e v e l o p m e n t , a n d well-being. American Psychologist, 55, 6 8 - 7 8 . Ryff, C. D . , 8c Singer, B. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Flourishing u n d e r fire: R e s i l i e n c e as a prototype of challenged thriving. In C. L. M. Keyes 8c J. H a i d t ( E d s . ) , Flourishing:

Positive psychology and the life well-lived ( p p .

15—36). W a s h i n g t o n ,

D C : A m e r i c a n Psychological A s s o c i a t i o n . Sabini, J., 8c Silver, M. ( 1 9 8 2 ) . Moralities of everyday life. O x f o r d , U K : Oxford University Press. Salovey, P., 8c Mayer, J. D. ( 1 9 9 0 ) . E m o t i o n a l intelligence.- Imagination, Cognition, and personality, 9, 1 85—21 1.

References 26 7 S a m p s o n , R . J . ( 1 9 9 3 ) . Family m a n a g e m e n t a n d child d e v e l o p m e n t : I n s i g h t s from social disorganization theory. Vol. 6 of J. M c C o r d ( E d . ) , Advances in criminological theory (pp. 63—93). N e w B r u n s w i c k , N J : T r a n s a c t i o n P r e s s . Sanfey, A . G . , Rilling, J . K., A r o n s o n , J . A . , N y s t r o m , L . E . , & C o h e n , J . D . ( 2 0 0 3 ) . T h e neural basis o f e c o n o m i c d e c i s i o n - m a k i n g i n the u l t i m a t u m g a m e . Science, 3 0 0 , 1 7 5 5 - 1 7 5 8 . Sartre, J. P. ( 1 9 8 9 / 1 9 4 4 ) . No exit and three other plays. (S. Gilbert, T r a n s . ) . N e w York: Vintage International. Schatzberg, A. F„ C o l e , J. O., 8c DeBattista, C. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Manual of Clinical Psychopharmacology, (4th Ed.). Washington, D C : A m e r i c a n Psychiatric P u b l i s h i n g . S c h k a d e , D. A., 8c K a h n e m a n , D. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . D o e s living in C a l i f o r n i a m a k e p e o p l e h a p p y ? A f o c u s i n g illusion in j u d g m e n t s of life satisfaction. Psychological Science, 9, 3 4 0 - 3 4 6 . S c h u l z , R., & Decker, S. ( 1 9 8 5 ) . L o n g - t e r m a d j u s t m e n t to physical d i s a b i l i t y : T h e role of social s u p p o r t , p e r c e i v e d control, a n d s e l f - b l a m e . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 4 8 , 1 162—1 1 7 2 .

Schwartz, B. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . 7Jie paracUxx of choice. N e w York: H a r p e r C o l l i n s . Schwartz, B., Ward, A., M o n t e r o s s o , J., Lyubomirsky, S . , W h i t e , K., 8c L e h m a n , D. R. (2002). Maximizing versus satisficing: H a p p i n e s s is a m a t t e r of c h o i c e . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 8 3 , 1 1 78—1 1 9 7 .

Seligman, M. E. P. (1995). T h e effectiveness of psychotherapy: T h e C o n s u m e r Reports study. American Psychologist, 5 0 , 965—974. S e l i g m a n , M. E. P. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . Authentic happiness. N e w York: F r e e P r e s s . S e n e c a , L. A. ( 1 9 1 7 - 1 9 2 5 / c . 50 CE). Moral epistles. Vol. 1, T h e L o e b C l a s s i c a l Library. C a m b r i d g e , M A : Harvard University Press. Shapiro, S . , Schwartz, G. E. R., 8c Santerre, C. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . M e d i t a t i o n a n d p o s i t i v e psychology. In C. R. S n y d e r 8c S. J. L o p e z ( E d s . ) , Handbook of positive psychology (pp. 632—645). N e w York: O x f o r d University P r e s s . Sheldon,

K.

M.

( 2 0 0 4 ) . Optimal human being: An integrated multi-level perspec-

tive. M a h w a h , N J : L a w r e n c e E r l b a u m . Sheldon, K. M . , 8c Kasser, T. ( 1 9 9 5 ) . C o h e r e n c e a n d c o n g r u e n c e : T w o a s p e c t s of p e r s o n a l i t y i n t e g r a t i o n . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,

68,

531-543. S h o d a , Y., M i s c h e l , W., 8c Peake, P. K. ( 1 9 9 0 ) . Predicting a d o l e s c e n t c o g n i t i v e a n d self-regulatory c o m p e t e n c i e s f r o m p r e s c h o o l d e l a y o f g r a t i f i c a t i o n : Identifying diagnostic conditions. Developmental Psychology, 2 6 , 9 7 8 — 9 8 6 . Shore,

B. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . Culture in mind: Cognition, culture, and the problem of mean-

ing. N e w York: Oxford University P r e s s . Shulgin, A. ( 1 9 9 1 ) . PIHKAL: A chemical love story. Berkeley: T r a n s f o r m P r e s s .

286

References

Shweder. R. A., M u c h , N. C . , M a h a p a t r a , M . , 8c Park, L. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . T h e "big three" of morality (autonomy, c o m m u n i t y , a n d divinity), a n d the "big three" explanations of suffering. In A. Brandt 8c P. Rozin ( E d s . ) , Morality and Health (pp. 1 1 9 - 1 6 9 ) . N e w York: R o u t l e d g e . Singer, P. ( 1 9 7 9 ) . Practical ethics. C a m b r i d g e , U K : C a m b r i d g e University Press. Skitka, L . j . ( 2 0 0 2 ) . D o the m e a n s always j u s t i f y the e n d s , o r d o the e n d s somet i m e s j u s t i f y the m e a n s ? A v a l u e p r o t e c t i o n m o d e l of j u s t i c e reasoning. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin,

28, 588—597.

Smith, A. ( 1 9 7 6 / 1 7 5 9 ) . The theory of moral sentiments. Oxford, U K : O x f o r d University P r e s s . Smith, N. M . , Floyd, M. R., S c o g i n , F., 8c J a m i s o n , C. S. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . T h r e e year followup of bibliotherapy for d e p r e s s i o n . Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 6 5 , 3 2 4 - 3 2 7 . Solnick, S. J., 8c Memenway, D. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . Is m o r e always b e t t e r ? A survey on positional

c o n c e r n s . Journal

of Economic

Behavior and

Organization,

37,

373-383. S o l o m o n , R. C. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . The jc/y of philosophy: Thinking thin versus the passionate

life. N e w York: Oxford University P r e s s . Srivastava, S . , J o h n , O. P., G o s l i n g , S. D . , 8c Potter, J. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . D e v e l o p m e n t of personality in early a n d m i d d l e a d d u l t h o o d : S e t like p l a s t e r or persistent c h a n g e ? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 8 4 , 1 0 4 1 — 1 0 5 3 .

Stall, S. ( 1 9 0 4 / 1 8 9 7 ) . What a young man ought to know. L o n d o n : Vir Publishing. S t e e l e , J. D= ( 1 8 6 7 ) . Fourteen weeks in chemistry. N e w York: A. S. B a r n e s . S t e r n b e r g , R. J. ( 1 9 8 6 ) . A triangular theory of love. Psychological Rexriew, 9 3 , 119-135. Sternberg, R. J. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . A b a l a n c e theory of w i s d o m . Review of General Psychology, 2, 3 4 7 - 3 6 5 . Tajfel, H. ( 1 9 8 2 ) . Social psychology of i n t e r g r o u p relations. Annual Review of Psychology, 3 3 , 1 - 3 9 .

Tamir, M . , R o b i n s o n , M. D . , 8c C l o r e , G. L. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . T h e e p i s t e m i c benefits of trait-consistent m o o d states: An analysis of extraversion a n d m o o d . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 8 3 ( 3 ) , 6 6 3 — 6 7 7 .

Tavris, C. ( 1 9 8 2 ) . Anger. The misunderstood emotion.. N e w York: S i m o n 8c Schuster. Taylor, C. ( 1 9 8 9 ) . Sources of the self: The making of the modem identity. C a m -

bridge, M A : Harvard University P r e s s . Taylor, S. E. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Health psychology. B o s t o n : M c G r a w - H i l l . Taylor, S. E., Klein, L. C . , L e w i s , B. P., G r u e n e w a l d , T. L., G u r u n g , R. A., 8c Updegraff, J. A. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . Biobehavioral r e s p o n s e s to s t r e s s in f e m a l e s : Tendand-befriend, not fight-or-flight. Psychological Review, 1 0 7 , 41 1—429.

References 26 7 Taylor, S. E„ Lerner, J. S., Sherman, D. K., Sage, R. M . , & M c D o w e l l , N. K. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Portrait of the self-enhancer: Well adjusted and well liked or m a l a d j u s t e d a n d f r i e n d l e s s . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 8 4 ,

165—176.

T e d e s c h i , R. G . , Park, C . L., 8 c C a l h o u n , L. G . ( 1 9 9 8 ) . P o s t t r a u m a t i c g r o w t h : C o n c e p t u a l i s s u e s . In R. G. T e d e s c h i , C. L. Park 8c L. G. C a l h o u n ( E d s . ) , Posttraumatic growth: Positive changes in the aftermath of crisis ( p p .

1—22).

Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum. T e m p l e t o n , J.

M. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . Worldwide laws of life: 200 eternal spiritual principles.

Philadelphia: T e m p l e t o n Foundation Press. T e n n e n , H., 8c A f f l e c k , G. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . Personality a n d t r a n s f o r m a t i o n in t h e f a c e of adversity. In R. G. T e d e s c h i , C. L. Park 8c L. G. C a l h o u n ( E d s . ) , Posttraumatic gnrwth: Positive changes in the aftermath of crisis ( p p . 6 5 — 9 8 ) . M a h -

wah, N J : L a w r e n c e E r l b a u m . T h o i t s , P. A., 8c Hewitt, L. N. ( 2 0 0 1 ) . Volunteer work a n d well-being. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 4 2 ,

115—131.

T h r a s h , T . M . , a n d Elliot, A . J . ( 2 0 0 4 ) . Inspiration: C o r e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s , c o m p o nent p r o c e s s e s , a n t e c e d e n t s , a n d function. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 8 7 , 9 5 7 .

T h o m a s , K. ( 1 9 8 3 ) . Man and the Natural World. N e w York: P a n t h e o n . Tooby, J., 8c C o s m i d e s , L. ( 1 9 9 6 ) . Friendship a n d t h e banker's paradox: O t h e r pathways to the evolution of a d a p t a t i o n s for altruism. Proceedings of the British Academy, 8 8 ,

119-143.

Trevathan, W. ( 1 9 8 7 ) . Human birth. N e w York: Aldine de Gruyter. Trivers, R. L. ( 1 9 7 1 ) . T h e evolution of reciprocal altruism. Quarterly Review of Biology, 4 6 , 3 5 - 5 7 . Troyat, H. ( 1 9 6 7 ) . Tolstoy. ( N . A m p h o u x , Trans). N e w York: D o u b l e d a y . Trut, L. N. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . Early canid d o m e s t i c a t i o n : T h e f a r m fox e x p e r i m e n t . American Scientist, 8 7 , 1 6 0 - 1 6 9 . Turkheimer, E . ( 2 0 0 0 ) . T h r e e laws o f behavior g e n e t i c s a n d what they m e a n . Current Directions in Psychological Science,

9,

160—164.

Updegraff, J. A., 8c Taylor, S. E. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . From vulnerability to growth: Positive and negative e f f e c t s of stressful life events. In J. Harvey 8c E. M i l l e r ( E d s . ) , Loss and trauma:

General and close

relationship perspectives

(pp.

3—28).

Philadelphia: Brunner-Routledge. U v n a s - M o b e r g , K. ( 1 9 9 8 ) . Oxytocin m a y m e d i a t e the b e n e f i t s of positive s o c i a l interaction a n d e m o t i o n s . Psychoneuroimmunology, 2 3 , 8 1 9 — 8 3 5 . van Baaren, R. B., Holland, R. W., S t e e n a e r t , B., Sevan K n i p p e n b e r g , A. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Mimicry for m o n e y : Behavioral c o n s e q u e n c e s of imitation. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology,

39,

393—398.

288

References

van Baaren, R. B., Holland, R. W., K a w a k a m i , K., 8c van K n i p p e n b e r g , A. ( 2 0 0 4 ) . Mimicry and Prosocial Behavior. Psychological Science, 15, 71—74. Van Boven, L., 8c Gilovich, T. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . To do or to have? T h a t is t h e question. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 8 5 ,

1 193—1202.

van I J z e n d o o r n , M . H . , M o r a n , G . , Belsky, J . , P e d e r s o n , D . , B a k e r m a n s Kranenburg, M. J., 8c K n e p p e r s , K. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . T h e similarity of siblings' att a c h m e n t s to their mother. Child Development, 7 1 , 1086—1098. Vormbrock, J. K. ( 1 9 9 3 ) . A t t a c h m e n t theory as a p p l i e d to war-time a n d job-related marital separation. Psychological Bulletin, 114, 122—144. W a i t e , L. J . , 8c G a l l a g h e r , M. ( 2 0 0 0 ) . The case for marriage: Why married people are happier, healthier, and better off financially. N e w York: D o u b l e d a y . W a r r e n , R. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . The purpose driven life: What on earth am I here for? G r a n d

Rapids, M I : Zondervan. W a s s o n , R. G. ( 1 9 8 6 ) . Persephone's quest: Entheogens and the origins of religion.

N e w Haven, C T : Yale University P r e s s . Watson, J. B. (1928). Psychological care of infant and child. N e w "York: W. W. Norton. Wegner, D. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . Ironic p r o c e s s e s of mental control. Psychological Review, 101, 34-52. Weinfield, N. S., S r o u f e , L. A., E g e l a n d , B., 8c C a r l s o n , E. A. ( 1 9 9 9 ) . T h e nature of individual d i f f e r e n c e s in infant-caregiver a t t a c h m e n t . In J. C a s s i d y 8c P. R. S h a v e r ( E d s . ) , Handbook of attachment: Theory, research, and applica-

tions (pp. 6 8 - 8 8 ) . N e w York: G u i l f o r d . Wesley, J. ( 1 9 8 6 / 1 7 8 6 ) . Works of John Wesley. A. O u t l e r ( E d . ) . Nashville, T N : A b i n g d o n Press. White, R. B. ( 1 9 5 9 ) . Motivation r e c o n s i d e r e d : T h e c o n c e p t of c o m p e t e n c e . Psychological Review 6 6 , 2 9 7 — 3 3 3 . W h y b r o w , P. C. ( 2 0 0 5 ) . American mania: When more is not enough.

N e w York:

Norton. Wilkinson, G. S. ( 1 9 8 4 ) . Reciprocal f o o d sharing in the vampire bat. Nature, 308, 181-184. W i l l i a m s , G. C.

( 1 9 6 6 ) . Adaptation and natural selection: A critique of some cur-

rent evolutionary thought. P r i n c e t o n : P r i n c e t o n University P r e s s . W i l s o n , D. S. ( 2 0 0 2 ) . Darwin's cathedral: Evolution,

religion, and the nature of

society. C h i c a g o : University of C h i c a g o P r e s s . W i l s o n , E. O. ( 1 9 9 0 ) . Success and dominance in ecosystems: The case of the social

insects. O l d e n d o r f , G e r m a n y : E c o l o g y Institute. Wilson, T. D . , 8c Gilbert, D. T. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . A f f e c t i v e forecasting. In Vol. 35 of M. P. Z a n n a ( E d . ) , Advances in experimental psychology ( p p . 3 4 5 — 4 1 1 ) . S a n Diego, C A : A c a d e m i c .

References 26 7 Wilson, T. D., & Gilbert, D. T. ( 2 0 0 5 ) . M a k i n g s e n s e : A m o d e l of a f f e c t i v e a d a p tation. U n p u b l i s h e d m a n u s c r i p t . Wright, R. ( 1 9 9 4 ) . The moral animal. N e w York: P a n t h e o n . Wrzesniewski, A., M c C a u l e y , C. R., Rozin, P., & S c h w a r t z , B. ( 1 9 9 7 ) . J o b s , c a reers, a n d callings: People's relations to their work. Journal of Research in Personality, 3 1 , 21—33. Wrzesniewski, A., Rozin, P., & Bennett, G. ( 2 0 0 3 ) . Working, playing, a n d e a t i n g : M a k i n g the m o s t o f m o s t m o m e n t s . I n C . L . M . K e y e s & J . H a i d t ( E d s . ) , Flourishing: Positive psychology and the life well-lived ( p p .

1 85—204). W a s h -

ington, D C : A m e r i c a n Psychological Association. Zaehner, R. C. ( E d . a n d Trans.). ( 1 9 6 9 ) . The Bhagavad-Gita. O x f o r d : C l a r e n d o n .

Index Abbot, Edwin, 1 8 1 - 1 8 2 , 203 Adaptation principle, 84—86 Adversity, 1 3 5 - 1 5 3 A e s o p , 160 Affect a f f e c t i v e forecasting, 84—85 a f f e c t i v e priming, 2 7 a f f e c t i v e styles, 3 3 - 3 6 , 4 0 , 8 3 - 8 4 , 1 4 6 - 1 4 7 , 150 negative a f f e c t , fO 1 After Virtue ( M a c l n t y r e ) , 1 6 6 - 1 6 7 A g a p e (emotional state), 130, 131, 193, 1 9 9 - 2 0 0 Ainsworth, Mary, 1 1 5—118 Algoe, Sara, 196 Allen, Woody, 52, 2 1 4 Altruism, 1 7 1 - 1 7 5 , 196, 2 3 0 , 2 3 7 a n d free-rider p r o b l e m , 231—234 Analects (Confucius),-x, 45 Anomie, 1 7 5 - 1 7 8 A p p i a h , Anthony, 177 Aristotle, 157, 160, 161, 2 1 8 A s h o k a ( M a u r y a n king), 140 A t t a c h m e n t , xii, 1 0 7 - 1 3 4 , 148, 199, 238-239 philosophers' rejection of, 87—90, 128-132 a n d romantic love, 123—127

styles of, 118 theories of, 1 1 3 - 1 2 3 A u g u s t i n e , 132 Aurelius, M a r c u s , 2 3 , 2 5 , 3 1 , 34, 2 2 2 Autonomy, ethic of, 188, 2 0 8 - 2 1 Awe (emotional state), 2 0 2 - 2 0 6 Bargaining, 56—57 Bargh, J o h n , 14 Barrie, J. M . , 77. Batson, C . Daniel, 6 1 - 6 2 , 7 9 Baumeister, Roy, 7 4 - 7 5 Beck, Aaron, 3 7 - 3 9 , 6 6 , 7 8 , 144 Beckett, S a m u e l , 2 1 4 Behaviorism, 1 6 - 1 7 , 3 8 - 3 9 , 108-110, 220 B e n t h a m , Jeremy, 162—163 B e r s c h e i d , Ellen, 1 2 4 - 1 2 5 Bhagavad Gita, x , 5 6 , 7 7 , 8 9 ,

203-204 Bias, 6 9 - 7 1 , 7 4 - 7 5 , 7 9 , 8 5 Biswas-Diener, Robert, 1 0 3 - 1 0 4 Blake, William, 241 Blink (Gladwell), 22 Boethius, 2 4 - 2 6 B o g e n , J o s e p h E., 6—7 Borges, J o r g e Luis, ix, xiii 2 9 1

292

Index

Bowlby, J o h n , 1 0 9 , 1 1 2 - 1 1 5 and features of attachment r e l a t i o n s h i p s , 118—119 Boyer, P a s c a l , 2 3 4 Brain s t r u c t u r e a m y g d a l a , 10, 3 0 - 3 1 " e x c h a n g e o r g a n , " 50—51 f o r e b r a i n , 10 frontal i n s u l a , 51—52 h i p p o c a m p u s , 10, 4 0 h y p o t h a l a m u s , 10, 17 left brain—right brain division, 6—9 neocortex, 1 0 - 1 3 , 30, 33, 5 1 - 5 2 , 8 3 - 8 4 , 113 orbitofrontal cortex, 1 1—12, 17 Brain s t u d i e s , 5 1 - 5 2 , 1 2 1 - 1 2 2 , 236-237 Bronte, Charlotte, 94 B u d d h a , x, xi, xii, 2—3, 2 2 , 2 5 , 3 6 , 4 3 , 62, 132, 144, 1 5 5 - 1 5 6 , 158, 159,223,236 on detachment, 7 7 - 7 8 , 82, 87, 8 9 - 9 2 , 94, 1 0 2 - 1 0 6 , 128 q u o t e d , xi, 2 , 2 3 , 5 9 , 7 3 , 8 1 , 1 5 5 B u d d h i s m , 18, 3 5 - 3 6 , 8 2 , 8 6 , 8 7 , 1 0 3 , 129, 140 Burns, David, 78 B u s h , G e o r g e W., 7 5 , 7 6 , 2 0 8 Carnegie, Dale, 23 Catharsis, 1 4 7 - 1 4 8 C a t h e r , Willa, 2 1 3 C h a p i n , Henry, 1 0 8 C h a r a c t e r , 1 6 8 - 1 6 9 , 176 Child development, 1 1 3 - 1 2 3 , 1 4 9 - 1 5 0 a n d m o r a l e d u c a t i o n , 158—160, 1 6 4 - 1 6 5 , 171, 1 7 5 - 1 7 9 , 2 0 6 C h i n a , x, 135 Choice, 101-102 Christianity, 1 3 0 - 1 3 1 , 1 7 1 , 1 9 9 , 205, 209

Christmas

Carol, A

(Dickens),

140-141 Cialdini, Robert, 49, 5 6 - 5 7 C o g n i t i v e therapy, 2 4 , 3 7 - 3 9 , 4 1 , 6 2 , 78, 90, 148, 170 Coherence, 144-145, 2 2 6 - 2 2 7 , 229 C o m m u n i t y , e t h i c of, 1 8 8 , 2 0 9 , 2 2 9 C o n f a b u l a t i o n , 8 - 9 , 17, 2 1 , 1 3 9 Confucius, x, 45, 55, 1 2 8 - 1 2 9 , 159-160 Consolation

of Philosophy,

The

(Boethius), 2 4 - 2 6 Conspicuous consumption, 9 9 - 1 0 0 , 143 Controlled and automatic processes, 1 3 - 1 7 , 1 9 - 2 0 , 56, 96 Cooperation, 4 7 - 4 8 , 235 Csikszentmihalyi, Mihalyi, 9 5 , 223-225 Culture, 27, 35, 42, 60, 11 5, 117, 1 2 3 - 1 2 5 , 132, 140, 142, 155, 1 5 8 - 1 6 0 , 163, 1 6 6 - 1 6 8 , 172, 178, 183, 1 8 5 - 1 8 8 , 191, 193, 201, 205, 2 0 8 - 2 0 9 , 211, 227, 229-230, 232-235, 242 Curse of the Self, The ( M a r k L e a r y ) , 206-207 Dalai L a m a , 129, 139 D a m a s i o , A n t o n i o , 12—13 D a m o n , William, 179, 2 2 5 Darwin, Charles, 50, 200, 2 3 0 - 2 3 1 Darwin's Cathedral

(Wilson),

235

Daston, Lorraine, 2 0 6 Davidson, Richard, 33, 8 3 - 8 4 D e a t h , f e a r of, 1 3 2 Death of Character,

The

(Hunter),

176

Depression, 3 1 - 3 4 , 3 7 - 4 3 , 62, 66, 78, 89, 90, 93, 102, 136, 144 De Rerum Natura ( L u c r e t i u s ) ,

D e s c a r t e s , R e n 6 , 161

130

Index Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), 1 6 7 ,

293

Epley, N i c h o l a s , 6 7 169

Dickens, Charles, 140-141 Diener, E d , 8 8 , 103 D i s g u s t , role of in social life a n d sexuality, 1 8 5 - 1 8 6 , 189, 191,

Ethics of Identity, The ( A p p i a h ) ,

177

Evil, 7 2 - 7 6 , 2 1 1 Evil: Inside Human

Cruelty and

Aggression ( B a u m e i s t e r ) , 74 Evolution. See N a t u r a l s e l e c t i o n

1 9 4 - 1 9 5

Diversity, 1 7 7 - 1 7 8 Divinity a n d s a c r e d n e s s , 181—21 1 ethic of, 1 8 7 - 1 9 1 , 2 0 8 - 2 1 1 "Dr. Phil" (Phil M c G r a w ) , 23 D o n n e , J o h n , 107, 1 3 3 - 1 3 4 D o p a m i n e , 17, 8 3 , 125 D r u g s , p s y c h e d e l i c , 201—205 D u n b a r , Robin, 5 3 - 5 4 D u n n i n g , David, 6 7 D u r k h e i m , E m i l e , 1 3 2 - 1 3 3 , 151, 1 7 5 - 1 7 6 , 177, 2 3 4 , 2 4 2

Faces of Death ( d o c u m e n t a r y ) , Feeling Good ( B u r n s ) , 78

Ecclesiastes, 8 1 - 8 2 , 214 Effectance, 2 2 0 - 2 2 1 , 225 Elder, G l e n , 1 5 0 - 1 5 1 Elevation (emotional state), 193—200 physiology of, 1 9 7 - 1 9 8 Eliade, M i r c e a , 1 9 2 - 1 9 3 , 2 0 6 E m e r s o n , Ralph Waldo, 191, 2 0 0 E m m o n s , Robert, 143 Emotion, 1 1 — 1 3 awe, 2 0 2 - 2 0 6 agape, 1 9 9 - 2 0 0 disgust, 1 8 5 - 1 8 6 , 1 9 1 , 2 3 elevation, 1 9 3 - 2 0 0 like a n d dislike, 2 6 - 2 8 , 7 8 love, 170, 1 9 7 - 1 9 9 , 2 1 9 - 2 2 0 , 2 2 3 , 225, 2 3 4 - 2 3 5 p l e a s u r e and gratification, 8 3 , 9 6 - 9 7 , 1 4 3 , 161 See also H a p p i n e s s ; Morality and moral e m o t i o n s Epictetus, 81, 82, 87, 8 9 - 9 2 , 223 E p i c u r u s , 130, 155, 158, 161

G a m e s a n d g a m e theory, 51—52, 5 4 , 6 1 - 6 2 , 7 7 , 9 9 , 1 0 1 , 143 tit for tat, 4 9 - 5 0 , 6 3 , 6 6 , 1 4 0 Gardner, H o w a r d , 2 2 5 G a z z a n i g a , M i c h a e l , 7 - 9 , 17, 2 1 Geertz, Clifford, 76 Ghazali, al-, 2 3 6 G i b r a n , Kahlil, 2 2 2 - 2 2 3 Gilovich, T o m , 1 0 0 Gladwell, Malcolm, 22 G l a s s , David, 9 2 Godfather, The, 4 5 - 4 7 Goldenberg, Jamie, 1 3 2 . Gossip, 52-55, 60 G r o u p selection, 230—235, 2 3 7 G u t feelings, 5—6, 64

166

Flatland (Abbot), 1 8 1 - 1 8 2 Flow, 9 4 - 9 8 , 2 1 9 , 2 2 3 - 2 2 4 Frank, Robert, 9 8 - 1 0 0 Franklin, B e n j a m i n , 1, 29, 65—66, 1 5 6 - 1 5 8 , 164, 169, 170, 1 7 5 , 178-179 Freud, A n n a , 112, 1 1 4 F r e u d , S i g m u n d , 3 , 2 0 , 37, 39, 9 0 , 108, 1 1 1 , 1 14, 2 1 9

Hamer, Dean, 234 Happiness a n d a f f e c t i v e style, 26—44 a n d altruism, 173—175 pursuit of, 8 1 - 1 0 6

294

Index

H a p p i n e s s (continued) and s e a r c h for m e a n i n g , 213-239 a n d social relationships, 133—134 a n d "vertical c o h e r e n c e " of goals, 145 and virtue, 1 5 6 - 1 5 8 H a p p i n e s s formula, 9 0 - 9 4 , 2 19 Harlow, Harry, 1 0 9 - 1 13, 1 15, 1 18, 131, 2 0 5 Hawking, S t e p h e n , 8 5 H a z e n , Cindy, 1 18 H e d o n i c treadmill, 8 6 , 8 9 Heraclitus, 2 4 1 Heredity and behavior, 32—33, 8 6 , 9 0 , 1 17 Hillel, 4 5 H i n d e , Robert, 1 1 2 - 1 1 3 H i n d u i s m , 1 2 8 - 1 2 9 , 135, 140, 1 4 5 , 171, 1 8 8 - 1 9 0 , 2 2 8 , 2 3 6 Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The, 2 1 6

H o l m e s , Oliver Wendell, Jr., 1 0 5 Horn, Holly, 54, 178 H o m e r , 129, 1 6 0 H u m e , David, 1 7 Hunter, J a m e s , 1 76 Hypocrisy, xi, 55, 5 9 - 8 0 , 1 3 0 - 1 3 2 , 1 6 5

Imp of the Perverse (Poe), 19 India, x , 1 0 3 - 1 0 4 , 140, 1 8 8 - 1 8 9 , 2 1 0 , 227-228 Influence (Cialdini), 49 Isen, Alice, 173, 196 J a m e s , William, 2 0 3 - 2 0 4 , 2 3 5 - 2 3 6 Jefferson, Thomas, 194-196, 205 J e s u s , 6 2 , 7 9 , 1 3 0 , 173, 2 0 8 J o r d a n , M i c h a e l , 196 Jung, Carl, 2 1 6 J u s t i c e , 1 7 1 - 1 7 2 , 177

K a n t , I m m a n u e l , 161—163, 2 0 0 Kasser, T i m , 145 Keeping Together in

Time

(McNeill), 237 Keillor, G a r r i s o n , 6 6 Keltner, D a c h e r , 2 0 2 Kerry, J o h n , 2 0 8 King, Martin Luther, Jr., 2 2 9 King, Rodney, 74 Klein, M e l a n i e , 1 12 Kohn, Melvin, 221 Koran, x Kramer, Peter, 41 Kuhn, Deanna, 64 Langer, Ellen, 9 3 Language, 15-16, 5 3 - 5 4 , 2 0 7 L a o T z u , 3 7 , 101, 1 0 5 Laws of Manu, The, 1 2 8 ,

188

Leary, M a r k , 2 0 6 - 2 0 7 Leary, Timothy, 2 0 1 Le Conte, Joseph, 1 92 Lerner, M e l , 1 4 5 - 1 4 6 Library of Babel ( B o r g e s ) , ix

L i f e stories, 1 4 2 - 1 4 4 , 1 5 0 - 1 5 1 , 207,226 L i k e and dislike, 2 6 - 2 8 , 7 8 Limbaugh, Rush, 59 Listening to Prozac ( K r a m e r ) , 41

L o e w e n s t e i n , G e o r g e , 69—70, 7 9 L o r e n z , K o n r a d , 112—113 L o v e , xii, 4 5 , . 1 0 7 - 1 3 4 , 2 1 9 - 2 2 0 , 223, 2 3 8 - 2 3 9 Christian, 1 3 0 - 1 3 1 familial, 1 1 1 - 1 1 7 romantic, 1 1 8 - 1 2 7 , 132 See also A g a p e ( e m o t i o n a l state) L S D . See D r u g s , p s y c h e d e l i c Lucretius, 130 Luxury Fever ( F r a n k ) , 98

Lyubomirsky, S o n j a , 91

Index Machiavelli, N i c c o l o , 6 1 M a c l n t y r e , Alasdair, 1 6 6 - 1 6 7 Manichaeism, 73 M a r r i a g e , a n d relation to h a p p i n e s s , 8 8 , 133 Marx, Karl, 2 2 1 Maslow, Abraham, 2 0 5 - 2 0 6 , 2 2 0 M a s o n , Bill, 1 1 0 M a t h e r , C o t t o n , 187, 188 M a x i m i z e r s a n d satisficers, 102 M c A d a m s , D a n , 1 4 2 - 1 4 4 , 174 M c C a u l e y , C l a r k , 185 M c G r a w , Phil ("Dr. Phil".), 23 M c N e i l l , William, 2 3 7 - 2 3 8 M e a n i n g , s e a r c h for, xiii, 151, 21 3—239 Meditation, 3 5 - 3 7 , 63, 78, 90, 91, 148, 2 0 7 , 2 3 6 M e n g T z u , x, 135, 181, 184, 192 M e n t a l intrusions, 19—20 Metamorphoses (Ovid), 4 Metaphor, 2—4, 1 6 0 - 1 6 1 , 1 8 1 - 1 8 2 , 197 Milton, J o h n , 3 4 M i s c h e l , Walter, 1 7 - 1 8 M o n t a i g n e , M i c h e l d e , 5—6 Monty Python's The Meaning of Life,

216, 218 Moral Animal,

The ( W r i g h t ) ,

63

Morality and education, 1 5 8 - 1 6 0 , 1 6 4 - 1 6 5 , 171, 1 7 5 - 1 7 9 a n d e t h i c s of autonomy, community, and divinity, 188, 2 0 8 - 2 1 0 , 230-235 a n d evil, 72—76 and hypocrisy, 60—62, 132 a n d moral e m o t i o n s , x—xii, 20—22, 2 3 , 4 2 , 5 0 - 5 1 , 5 4 - 5 5 , 140, 2 4 2 a n d nature, 2 0 0 a n d religious purity, 1 8 5 , 1 8 8 - 1 9 2 , 227-228 a n d virtue, 1 5 8 - 1 6 4 , 1 7 5 - 1 7 9

295

Motivation, 3 0 - 3 1 , 4 9 , 6 5 M u h a m m a d , 1 8 1 , 184, 1 9 2 Mysticism, 2 3 5 - 2 3 9 N a i v e realism (Pronin a n d R o s s ) , 7 1 Nakamura, Jeanne, 224 Natural selection, 1 6, 29, 4 7 - 4 8 , 50, 7 9 , 9 8 , 101, 1 7 2 , 2 1 7 a n d brain size, 53 a n d c o o p e r a t i o n , 60—61 and disgust, 1 8 5 - 1 8 6 , 192, 2 3 3 a n d g r o u p selection, 2 3 0 — 2 3 5 a n d s e x u a l behavior, 121—123 N a t u r e , a n d divinity, 2 0 0 Negativity, 2 8 - 3 1 , 101 N e w b e r g , Andrew, 236—237 N e w T e s t a m e n t , x, 1, 59, 1 1 5 , 1 1 9 , 130, 131, 139, 160, 173, 1 8 6 Nichotnachean

Ethics

(Aristotle),

161

N i e t s z c h e , 135, 1 3 6 No Exit (Sartre), 134 N o l e n - H o e k s e m a , S u s a n , 1 39 O l d T e s t a m e n t , x , 8 1 - 8 2 , 130, 1 5 9 , 1 60, 214 Opening Up ( P e n n e b a k e r ) , 1 47 Our Bodies, Ourselves, 2 0 9

Oveis, Chris, 197 Ovid, 4 , 2 2 Oxytocin, 120, 1 9 7 - 1 9 8 P a h n k e , Walter, 2 0 2 Parasympathetic nervous system, 197 Park, Katherine, 2 0 6 Passions Within Reason ( F r a n k ) , 98

Paul, 1, 6, 10, 12, 16, 2 2 , 1 3 9 , 1 7 3 Pavlov, Ivan, 1 6 P e a k e x p e r i e n c e s , 205—206 P e l h a m , Brett, 2 8 Pennebaker, J a m i e , 147—149 Perkins, David, 64—65

296

Index

Personality, 1 4 2 - 1 4 5 , 1 7 6 , 2 2 6 Peter Pan (Barrie), 77 Peterson, C h r i s , 1 6 7 - 1 6 8 Piaget, J e a n , 171 Piliavin, J a n e , 174 P i n c o f f s , E d m u n d , 163 Pinker, S t e v e n , 29 Plato, 2 - 4 , 10, 13, 16, 17, 1 2 4 - 1 2 5 , 129 P l e a s u r e and gratification, 8 3 , 96—97, 143, 161 Poe, E d g a r Allan, 19 Poor Richard's Almanack ( F r a n k l i n ) ,

1 56

Positive psychology, x—xii, 9 1 , 95—97, 166-170, 222 Posttraumatic growth, xii, 136—141 Posttraumatic stress disorder ( P T S D ) , 136, 138, 153 Practical Ethics (P. S i n g e r ) , 1 6 5

Progress principle, 82—84 P r o m e t h e a n script, 10—11, 15 Pronin, Emily, 71 Proust, M a r c e l , 3 9 , 1 52 Prozac. See Selective serotonin r e u p t a k e inhibitors ( S S R l s ) Psychoanalysis, 3, 2 0 , 108, 1 12, 2 2 0 Psychological Care of Infant and Child

(Watson), 108 Purpose, 2 1 7 - 2 1 9 , 2 2 5 , 2 2 7 , 2 2 9 - 2 3 0 , 234-235, 238-239 Purpose Driven Life, The ( W a r r e n ) ,

209-210, 218 R e a s o n a n d reasoning, 3—4, 1 1 — 13, 6 4 - 6 6 , 9 8 , 1 6 1 - 1 6 2 , 165 Reciprocity, xi, 4 5 - 5 8 , 172 and hypocrisy, 6 0 - 6 2 , 6 6 - 6 9 , 7 9 , 130-132 Relationships. See Love; Social networks Religions, Values, and Peak Experiences

(Maslow), 2 0 6 - 2 0 6

Religious e x p e r i e n c e a n d altered m e n t a l s t a t e , 201-206 a n d life p u r p o s e , 217—218, 2 2 9 , 230-235 a n d relation to h a p p i n e s s , 881, 133, 145, 1 4 8 , 171, 2 4 1 See also Divinity a n d s a c r e d n e s s Republic (Plato), 161 Rodin, Judith, 93 R o s e n b e r g , E v a n , 178 Ross, Lee, 71 Rozin, Paul, 1 6 5 - 1 6 6 , 185 Sacred and the Profane, The ( E l i a d e ) ,

192-193 Sanfey, Alan, 5 1 Sartre, J e a n - P a i d , 1 34 S c i e n c e , 171, 2 1 8 , 2 4 1 a n d divinity, 2 0 5 - 2 0 6 , 2 1 0 Schkade, David, 91 Schooler, C a r m i , 2 2 1 Schrock, Ed, 5 9 - 6 0 S c h w a r t z , Barry, 102 S e i n f e l d , Jerry, 195 S e l e c t i v e serotonin r e u p t a k e inhibitors ( S S R I s ) , 6 , 3 9 - 4 3 , 9 0 , 148 S e l f , xi, 2 0 1 , 2 0 4 , 2 0 6 - 2 0 8 left brain/right brain division, 6—9 m e t a p h o r s of, 1—5 m i n d / b o d y division, 5—6 r e a s o n / e m o t i o n division, 9—13 self-control a n d a u t o m a t i c r e s p o n s e , 13-22 Self-control, 1 7 - 1 9 Seligman, Martin, 91, 9 6 - 9 7 , 167-168 S e m m e l w e i s , Ignaz, 108 S e n e c a , 2 4 , 107, 133 S e n s e m a k i n g , 145—149

Index Sen-ts'an, 78 S e p a r a t i o n anxiety, 112—116 Sexuality, 1 2 0 - 1 2 3 , 1 3 0 - 1 3 2 , 186, 192, 2 1 0 S h a k e s p e a r e , William, x, 3 1, 8 4 , 141, 2 2 1 Shaver, Phil, 118 S h e l d o n , Ken, 9 1 , 1 4 5 S h e r m a n , Gary, 197 Shweder, Richard, 1 8 7 - 1 8 8 , 190, 2 0 8 Silvers, J e n , 197 Singer, J e r o m e , 9 2 Singer, Peter, 165—166 Skinner, B. R, 16, 108 Skipwith, Robert, 194 Skitka, L i n d a , 7 6 Smith, Adam, 86, 98 S o c i a l networks, a n d psychological health, 5 7 - 5 8 , 8 8 , 1 3 3 , 1 3 9 - 1 4 1 , 148, 151, 175 S o c i a l psychology, 3, 13, 19, 60 Socrates, 24, 129 S o l o m o n , Robert, 1 0 5 Springsteen, Bruce, 214 Stall, Sylvester^ 192 S t e i n e m , Gloria, 2 0 8 S t e r n b e r g , Robert, 1 5 2 - 1 5 3 Stevens, Cat, 214 S t o i c i s m , xii, 8 2 , 8 6 , 8 7 , 1 3 0 S u c c e s s , 82—84 Symposium, The (Plato), 1 2 4 - 1 2 5 , 129 T a o te C h i n g , x Teaching of Amenemope,

159

T h o r e a u , H e n r y David, 105 Tolstoy, L e o , 2 2 0

297

T r a u m a . See Adversity; P o s t t r a u m a t i c stress disorder Twin s t u d i e s , 3 2 - 3 3 , 9 0 , 1 1 6 - 1 1 7, 142,234 Ultrasociality, 4 7 - 4 9 , 52, 5 5 U p a n i s h a d s , x, 2 1 3 Utilitariansim, 162 Van B o v e n , L e a f , 1 0 0 Virtue, xii, 1 5 5 - 1 7 9 , 191 Volunteer work, e f f e c t o f o n h e a l t h , 174-175 Waiting for Godot ( B e c k e t t ) ,

214

Walstcr, Elaine, 1 2 4 - 1 2 5 Warren, Rick, 2 0 9 - 2 1 0 Warriors:

Reflections of Men

in

Battle,

The, ( G r a y ) 2 3 8 Washington, George, 2 1 4 W a t s o n , J o h n , 1 0 8 - 1 0 9 , 1 1 1 , 114 Wealth, a n d relation to h a p p i n e s s , 88-89 Wegner, Daniel M . , 1 9 - 2 0 What a Young Man Ought to Know,

(Stall) 192 W h i t e , Robert, 2 2 0 W h i t f o r d , David, 1 9 8 - 1 9 9 , 2 0 5 Wilson, David S l o a n , 2 3 2 , 2 3 4 - 2 3 6 Winfrey, O p r a h , 1 9 6 - 1 9 7 W i s d o m , ix-xiii, 1 5 2 - 1 5 3 , 2 4 2 - 2 4 3 Work, 2 1 9 - 2 2 9 a n d c o h e r e n c e , 226—229 a n d vital e n g a g e m e n t , 2 2 3 — 2 2 6 , 238-239 Wright, Robert, 6 2 W r z e s n i e w s k i , Amy, 2 2 2

PHOTO BY T O M COCILL

J o n a t h a n H a i d t is an A s s o c i a t e P r o f e s s o r of Psychology at the University of Virginia. H i s r e s e a r c h e x a m i n e s the e m o t i o n a l b a s i s of morality a n d the ways that morality varies a c r o s s c u l t u r e s , i n c l u d i n g the c u l t u r e s o f l i b e r a l s a n d c o n s e r v a t i v e s . He is

t h e c o - e d i t o r of Flourishing:

Positive Psychology and

the

Life Well-Lived. He lives in Charlottesville, Virginia. For further information on topics d i s c u s s e d in this b o o k , visit w w w . h a p p i n e s s h y p o t h e s i s . c o m .