The Human Biological Machine As a Transformational Apparatus

The Humdn 5iologicdl Mdchine -dSd­ Lrdnsformdtiondl APPdfdtus

E.]. GOLD

A GATEWAYS PUBLICATION METAPHYSICS/TRANSFORMATIONAL PSYCHOLOGY FROM A STRICTLY BIOLOGICAL AND psychological point of view, we are destined to a painfully brief existence as human beings. Can anything really be done, in an evolutionary sense, that would unlock our full transformational potential and raise us above the futility to which we are presently condemned? The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus, the introduction to a large body of writings of E.J. Gold, a recognized leader in the field of transformational psychology, is an answer to this question. E ] Gold has hit the nail squarely on the head... To complete one's own inner transformation is the only task worth taking seriously. Everything else is secondary."

"

.

.

Robert S. de Ropp Game and Self-Completion

, author 'of The Master

,

"I think The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus is not only Mr. Gold's

most innovative book but perhaps the most useful item in contemporary post-Gurdjieffian literature."

Claudio Naranjo Structures and How to Be

author of Ennea-type

ISBN: 0-89556-046-1

The Humdn Biologicdl Mdchine --dSd-­ Lrdnsformdtiondl ApPdfdtus

E.]. GOLD

The Labyrinth Trilogy Book I

©1991 by E.J.

Gold All Rights Reserved. Printed in the U.S.A. First Printing: May 1 7 1985 Second Printing: November 23,1986 Third Printing: June 1, 1991 ,

Published by:

GATEWAYS/IDHHB, INC. PO Box 370

Nevada City, CA 95959 (800) 869-0658 or (916) 477-1116 No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording or any information storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without permission in writing from the copyright holder, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or broadcast.

"The Library of Congress has catalogued the first issue of this title as follows:"

Gold,

E.

J.

The human biological machine as a transformational apparatus / E.J. Gold. - Nevada City, CA : Gateways/IDHHB.

159p. : 22 cm.

c1985.

Includes index. ISBN 0-89556-046-1 (pbk.) ISBN 0-89556-064-X (he.)

1.

Occultism.

BF1999.G6216

1985

$12.50

I. Title. 131--dc19

85-60946 AACR2 MARC

FOREWORD

E.l.

Gold has hit the nail squarely on the head.

Man is

an unfinished animal endowed by nature with the capacity to complete itself. It can then take charge of its own evolution and become worthy of the proud title Homo sapiens. The alchemical process of self-completion is shrouded in mystery and understood only by a few people in each generation. The Great Work consists in transforming a helpless other-directed puppet into an inner-directed, unified being that understands its place in the scheme of things. Nothing can be more important than the attainment of this understanding. Without it we are at the mercy of our dreams and delusions and our technical devices become more of a menace than a blessing. If a great catastrophe is to be avoided a growing number of people must grasp the central truth. To complete one's own inner transformation is the only task worth taking seriously. Everything else is secondary.

Robert S . de Ropp author of

The Master Game

EDITOR'S PREFACE From a strictly biological and psychological point of view, we are destined to a painfully brief existence as human beings. Can anything really be done, in an evolutionary sense, that would unlock our full transformational potential and raise us above the futility to which we are presently condemned?

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus, the introduction to a large body of writings of

E.J. Gold, a recognized leader in the field of transformational psychology, is an answer to this question. In the spring of

1983, E.J. Gold traveled to New York and

began an astonishing series of talks to public and private gatherings. In these talks, he went far beyond a restatement of themes and ideas he has presented for over

20 years. He

swept away the superstructure of his theory and began afresh to formulate the basis for his practical course of transformational work. The results are collected in this startlingly original volume, The Human Biological Machine

as a Transformational Apparatus. The clarity and brilliance with which the author treats the human condition in this book is reminiscent of Plato's dialectic. Like the opening sections of the Republic, The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus begins by establishing both the need for deep personal inquiry and the subject and method of that inquiry. These spring from one and the same source. If we have studied our situation as Mr. Gold has, we know that the body - including the mind - seems to have a will of its own which manifests itself in utterly incomprehensible desires and tastes. We are helplessly bound to its immediate gratifications, forced to live with the consequences, both small and at the same time incalculably

large,

domination, always falling short of our higher ideals.

of its

Existing passively and silently within the human biological body is a deeper self with the potential for continuation. Frdm this point, the book takes us into the field of the mystics and guides of all traditions: the continuation of the deeper self is dependent upon achieving its transformation through special use of the body-machine during a human lifetime. Only this specific transformation obtained through precise efforts can provide us with real freedom from the compelling attraction of organic life. Establishing this point logically or intellectually is a task suited to contemporary writers in phenomenology and psychology. Mr. Gold's true interest lies elsewhere, in the "how" rather than the "why" . Using the human biological machine as a weapon against itself by activating its higher transformational functions is an exact science. and what is called for is a manual, a toolkit for accomplishing the task. It is by no means an impossible task, nor is the strategy particularly complex. The basis ci the method is disarmingly simple. On the other hand, it is a formidable path to pursue, precisely because of its effectiveness . It suggests commando raids on the hypnotic conditioning and constraint of ordinary life, which the body will of course resist with its own stubborn will and cunning. What the novice needs more than philosophical justifications is "field expedients"- battle­ tested alternatives for survival behind enemy lines. As a manual, the present book introduces a clear, concise and understandable method for obtaining real and lasting results under any lifestyle conditions we may find ourselves in at the moment. It is a modern presentation of ideas that have existed outside mainstream knowledge for thousands of years, in vehicles such as the oral transmission of shamanism and the Hermetic treatises of the medieval alchemists. A better literary comparison than the Republic is the practical meditation manual, whether it be from Buddhist, Hindu, Islamic or J udaeo-Christian esoteric tradition. The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus fulfills the function , for a contemporary citizen of a post-

in dustrial n at ion , of a monastic m an u al like The Clouds of Unkn owing or the Philokalia , which P.D . Ouspensky cite s . Readers who appreciate, among conte mporary sources, the concreteness of Tibetan Rinpoche Chogyam Tru ngpa ' s Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism , initiate Eugen Herrigel ' s Zen and the Art of Archery, and artistiKabb alist Samual Avital ' s The Mime Workbook, w ill value the pragmatic , n itty-gritty approach of Mr. Gold ' s book. This book in particular establishes Mr. Gold as one of a handful of inner explorers who conduct their research with the ultimate integrity , using themselves as subj ects. A uthors in this category include G . I . Gurdjieff, S imone W eil , Henri Michaux, An ais Nin and more recently D r . Joh n Lilly, i nventor of the "sen sory attenuat ion tank" and fou n der of the Human/Dolphin Fou ndation . Zalman Schachter-Shalom i , rebbe of B ' nai Or Religious Fellowship and Professor of Jewish Mysticism at Templ e University , Philadelphia, the author of another fine practical manual , The First Step, h as described Mr. Gol d well i n his comment on this new book: "E.]. Gold is not just an armchair guru . Each of his teach ings on the p ath is the result of h is empirical work with himself an d h is associates . From th e Balin ese monkey chant to intentional out of body experiences h e h as done it , describe d i t , and taught it . This prolific upaya master deserves our attentio n . He has specialize d in scandalizing the ego and getting people to awaken to their paths as lon g as I have k nown h i m - over twenty years . "

Like few contemporaries , Mr. Gol d has n o t only conducted this inner research painstakingly over many years , but also taken the trouble to map the territory, annotat e the maps and write the travelogue to m ake a veritable "hitch­ hiker's gu ide " through the perils and pathways of inner transformatio n . T h e original series o f human b iological machine tal ks were given over the course of a ye ar. The talks culminated

with a formu l ation that is e ntirely new and original , the idea of "the chronic defe nse mechanism against the waking state of the machine." Everyone who heard material on the chronic was thunderstruck, even if accustomed to Mr. Gold 's brill i ance and improvisational genius in giving expression to the ideas of his p articular lineage. This was a new idea, a brand new v antage point for working with obstacles that the body-machine continually p resents to' anyone wishing to be transformed and to evolve . Several t alks expanded and refined this idea u ntil it became a full-blown technique for use in everyday life by anyone . . . artist , engineer, waitress, doctor , housewife . I t is the universally applicable practice, something that will work in any situ ation. In the l anguage of this boo k , Mr. Gol d ' s interest is exclusively in working towards the evolution of the essential self, never i n th e modification of the "human b iological mach ine" for its greater comfort or security. "Beyond Person al Enhancement" is one of the chapter titles that cou l d serve a s a sub-title for this exceptional book which, if used as intended - as a b eginner's manual - p acks the p u nch of a living teach ing b u rsting forth with the power of millenia of accu mulated force and knowledge behind it. .

Linda Corriveau, Editor May 1,1985

.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Forward

iii

Edi to r ' s Preface

v

1

1

The S ituatio n

The impartial observation of the limits of life i n a fi s h tank can provide us with an important clue as to the real nature of our planetary situation and a basisfor asking ourselves what the m eaning and purpose of life can be.

2

5

What to D o ?

If our world is actually related to other worlds. then w e m ust ask ourselves what w e can accomplish that would be significan t and of objective value and consequence beyond its lim ited confines.

3

11

Our Potential for I n n e r Evolutio n

The key to accomplishing something of objective value lies in our potentialfor inner evolution; special methods can teach us how to use our body, m ind, and emotions to transform our essentia l selves.

4

The Hu m a n B i ological Machin e as

a

Tran sform ati o n al Apparatu s

17

Contrary to popular belief, inner transformation does not produce behavioral and psychological results that can be easily recognized from the outside. Real results are of an entirely diff e rent nature.

5

Beyond Personal Enhancement

Most psychological m ethods provide us with a means to achieve personal enhancement by changing behavioral patterns of the ·machine·. Real transformational m ethods enable u s t o achieve objective change by transforming the 'essential self and completely disregarding the effect we have upon others.

22

6

Beginning Work.

2S

The purpose of beginning work is to bring the machine into the waking state and to enable it to function as a transfonnational apparatus. Transformation is not an aim in itself but a stepping stone to a whole new way of life which we seek. 7

Sheep in Sleep

29

Because the machine-although fully functional in the ordinary sense-lives its whole life in the sleeping state. our work begins in sleep. We must leurn to use the elements of sleep to overcome the machine·s defense mechanism against the waking state.

8

Inner Aims

36

By making our fonnulation of our inner aims toward transformation. more exact. we may eventually develop a real work aim. not something mental and subjective but an aim which is practical. immediate. accomplishable and which could actually serve a greater more objective aim.

9

Study of the Machine

41

Although we are separate from the machine. we have become hypnntized. immersed in the sleeping state nf the machine. One nf the purposes of studying the machine is to gather evidence which can help us define the exact nature of this sleep.

10 The Machine as an Electrical Field

S4

The human biological machine is a powerful dominant electrical field which can-if its transformational functions are activated by the waking state. act electrically upon the essential self ... another. less powerful but more subtle electrical field which forms the true self. 11

The Repair of the Machine

S9

Because life experiences-mnemonically stored in the muscles of the body-have distorted the electrical field of the machine. repair of these anomalies in the general electrical field are necessary in order for the machine to function effectively as a transfonnational apparatus.

12 The Essential Self as an Electrical Field Information in the evolutionary sense is transmitted by impingement of one electrical field upon another. The electrical field of the essential self undergoes the exact change necessary to free it from its compulsive electrical affinity for the human biological machine.

67

13

71

Help Real help is not someone doing somethingjor us. or a lessening of our personal suffering and struggles. Real help has no calming effect­ quite the contrary-it makes the machine squirm itself into evolution­ by-reflex.

14

76

Alchemy Alchemy is not a way of producing behavioral change in the machine; it is a way of notating change that occurs on a much deeper level It is not a cause. but an effect. a reflection of the inner evolution of the essential self.

15

81

Bringing the Woman to Life If we follow the machine as a lover would unrelentingly fix his gaze upon his Beloved, filled with astonishment. rapture and gratitude. the machine will come to life. awakening and responding to the power of adoration with a profound emotion which will in turn bring about our own transformation.

16 Attack at Dawn:

92

A Beachhead into the Fourth Dimension In our beginning work, we often attempt to accomplish too much at once. Our efforts are scattered and our energy quickly dissipates itself We must discipline ourselves to improve the quality and potency of our efforts by condensing them at first.

17 Warming of the Soul

99

Growth of the soul requires a form of human sacrifice. the exact nature of which has long since been distorted in mainstream thought. Evolutionary barriers-flaws in the diamond-are ground down by abrasion.

108

18 Out of Body Once we are able to bring the machine to stillness and silence. we will experience ourselves as definitely separate from the machine with a life apart from and far beyond the life of the machine.

19 The Chronic Defense Mechanism Because of its fear of not being able to reintegrate the sleeping state, the machine has learnt to defend itself against the waking state. Each individual has a particular defense mechanism called the Chronic which is triggered off whenever the machine is threatened with awakening.

114

20 The Electrical Affinity of the

123

Essential Self and the Machine The relationship between the essential self and the machine is based on a seduction. an affinity-electrical in nature-between their electrical fields. Evolution thus means transformation of the electrical field of the essential self in such a way as to free it from this affinity.

21 Restimulation of the Defense Mechanism

139

By constantly restimulating areas of charge in the electrical field of the machine. we are able to clear it of its ridges and eddies which impede on the electrical field of the essential self.

22 Every Which Way But Up

146

The vision of the higher dimension indicates that the waking state has been achieved; without the vision of the higher dimension, the waking state cannot be used for transformation.

23 An Experience

153

The account of an experience which Janet. a medical doctor located in New York City. had with her chronic and how she was able to use it to cross into the waking state.

Index

161

E.J. Gold, Portrait of Redfin as a Young Man, 2-3-91, Pastel on Sennelier, lO"x13".

CHAPTER 1 The Situation The impartial observation of the limits of life in a fish tank can provide us with an importan� clue as to the real nature of our planetary situation and a basis for asking ourselves what the meaning and purpose of life can be.

If we take the time to closely observe a fish tank, we will notice that the tank is a closed environment, a totally independent ecosystem which depends upon a delicate balance of interior equilibrillm and interspecies order. The fish tank is a miniature world in itself. Each living creature in the tank has its place and function, and everything is connected to everything else. The plants are compatible with the pH balance of the water solution and they are neither too big, nor too smaJ1; their root system is adapted to the bottom soil so they neither float away nor rot. The fish, too, have their necessary and inescapable roles and functions in the social and ecological hierarchy of the tank. They are selected-by human beings living outside the tank-according to an artificial mutual compatibility; deadly enemies would not survive for very long in a small sealed environment.

2

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

Some of the species and members of species are dominant, some are submissive in relation to the others; still others seem to avoid getting involved in any relationship with the other fish. Some fish live near the surface of the tank, never venturing to the bottom; some remain at the bottom for the whole of their lives, and some live in between. The bottom scavengers, usually suckers and catfish, are the garbage collectors of the tank; they eat the rotting m aterials which have filtered down from the top, and at the same time they clean the rocks and the glass, thus ensuring that harmful moss and lichens will not proliferate and upset the delicate balance of the tank. Those that live in the middle such as the sharks, redbellies and guppies, manage to live off what the fish at the top have not eaten as it was introduced into the tank from outside by a human hand. Some fish will be quicker than others, and consume more food and expend more energy than others. Those who live near the surface, such as the goldfish and redfins, will always be the first served, so they, in a certain sense, dominate the others. Others like the eel will seem perfectly at ease anywhere in the tank-top, middle or bottom. A few creatures in the tank will seem totally oblivious to all its activities. The turtle will quietly go about its business and basically ignore and keep away from the other inhabitants of the tank. However distant it may seem to our observing glance, it will nevertheless be in harmony with everything and everyone in the tank. In spite of all the apparent activity in the tank, its dwellers have extremely limited contact with each other; not only do they not m ove around from one level to another, but they have no need or means to share whatever information they happen to acquire SUbjectively about the tank they inhabit. The top dwellers know very little about life at the bottom, and the bottom dwellers know very little about life at the top.

The Situation

3

Still, let us suppose that, for those who are hungry to learn, information will be available, somehow slowly making its way around from fish to fish and from species to species, filtering almost unnoticed through their isolation, but that it is seldom pieced together by any one fish into a coherent picture. In looking at this sealed environment, we cannot help but be struck by the fact that we are looking at an entire self ­ contained world, surrounded by an ocean of air, just as our planet is self-contained in the sense that it is a harmonious environment, and it is also suspended in an ocean-an ocean of space, a near-vacuum even less dense than our planetary atmosphere. Just as the fish are tied forever to their denser liquid atmosphere, and would die without it, we are also tied to our gaseous atmosphere and would soon die if we were unable to breathe it. We may be very surprised to see quite clearly from our vantage point outside the tank that, although this miniature world is surrounded by our world and is a part of it, it is more or less completely cut off from any other similar world outside itself, including its larger relatives, the oceans, seas, and lakes, and that, just as in our world, the inhabitants of the fishtank are completely ignorant of anything outside their little world, and cannot even perceive objects and events outside the tank in our world', the nearest dimension just once­ removed beyond their own. Unless some accident or very unusual discovery happens to occur in the course of events, the fish will remain totally unaware of anything beyond the tank. They will continue to believe that their tank is the beginning and end of all possible worlds and never question their existence in the tank. For all practical purposes they will be right, insofar as they are utterly incapable of participating actively and consciously in an outside world; however, if the routine in this next highest dimension is in any way disrupted, their own world will suffer the consequences on a very large scale. What might be a small disturbance in our world will be felt as a major upheaval in their own world.

4

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational A pparatus

The fish in a tank are utterly dependent on humans for their survival. If it were not for humans, no food would be introduced into the tank, and the pumps and filters would soon cease to operate. This clearly establishes the precariousness of their situation, and if any of the fish were observant, would provide them with an important clue about their world. They have no way of knowing that there could be much more room to swim around if they were not in the tank, and they have no way of making observations which would lead them to question the invisible barrier against which they continually bump. They have nothing with which to compare their experience. How could they understand that the invisible walls are not the edge of creation, only a glass partition? ... These observations lead us to ask ourselves what the real meaning of life could possibly be for a fish in the tank. And along the same line of thought, what can be considered a real accomplishment?

E.}. Gold, Mr. Johnson Takes a Vacation, 4-15-91, Pastel on Sennelier, lO"x13".

CHAPTER 2

What to Do? If our world is actually related to other worlds, then we must ask

ourselves

what

we

can

accomplish

that

would

be

significant and of objective value and consequence beyond its limited confines.

What could a fish trapped in a fish's body with a fish's mind, doomed to a relatively short life in a sealed tank possibly do that would truly be significant and of consequence not only subjectively, but far beyond the small satisfactions of his small world? If the fish were able to build a sandcastle, for example, would it really have accomplished anything of objective significance? Would it change anything for the fish? Would its fate be improved? Could it hope for anything better for itself? If the fish were able to leave the tank and go back to the ocean, would this really change anything for them? Once they were back in the ocean, should we suppose they would have any real hopes of a better life?

6

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

They might die from sheer shock, from the trauma of adapting to a new environment; they might no longer be able to fend for themselves, and survive on their own ... But what would be the point of returning to the ocean? What would be the nature of something better for them? Some of the fish, realizing the futility of their lives, might focus on the central factor of their lives-the food. They might decide that it would be worthwhile to study the food, and after a while they might decide to give dissertations and workshops on how to properly select and eat food; whether to eat it as it is falling, or to catch it while it is still floating on the top, or wait until it reaches the bottom. But what would this preoccupation with food mean, ultimately? Would they be any better off in a real sense? Even if their health and well-being were slightly improved, would their lives be any more significant? Would they have ach ieved a higher purpose? Suppose that some of the fish, having suddenly remembered a bit of information their mothers gave them as minnows, decided to expound the merits of deep breathing, or rapid breathing. or perhaps slow, rhythmic breathing-how should we regard this effort on their part to relieve the tedium of life in the tank? If the fish decided to organize themselves, to establish committees to take care of various interspecies problems, tank territory problems, minnow-care problems, and they formed a quorum to elect a leader who could give a definite direction to their lives, would this really change anything for them besides complicating their daily routine, and immersing them even further in their limited concerns about life in the tank? If some of the fish became historians, setting themselves the aim of describing what life is like in the tank, for the benefit of future generations of fish, what would this really accomplish? Or perhaps if one or two of the more intelligent fish had serious thoughts about the meaning and significance of life in the tank, and shared these thoughts with other fish, not in the spirit of inquiry, but as authorities ... of what real benefit would this be to themselves and others?

What tODD?

7

If the fish who lived at the top described to the fish who lived at the bottom what life was like near the surface, then already some of them would have an expanded view of the situation. If the bottom fish described life at the bottom to those who lived at the top, then again this information could cxpand horizons. Suppose all the fish shared whatever information they had about their world, this again could certainly help them have a better view of their overall situation. By clearly reporting what they were able to observe in their own territory, and organizing the data reported to them by members of their own and other species, they might even begin to glimpse the artificiality and limits of the tank ... They might even begin to guess the nature of their world in relation to another, much larger, world of which it was only a very small and insignificant part ... What if one of the fish-let us call this fish Redfin­ suddenly grasped his situation and distinctly understood the fact that he was a fish in a tank, and that he also was able to make some accurate guesses about the nature of life in the tank ... Suppose that from this he was able to deduce the existence of life outside the tank; that the world inside the tank was very limited, that in fact it was only one world among many-one way of living and breathing among many possible ways of living and breathing. Is there any hope that he could accomplish something of objective value, considering that he is a fish confined to a fishtank, perhaps forever? What could he accomplish inside the tank, a sealed artificial environment from which he could never hope to escape and outside which he could not hope to survive if he did manage to escape? What could he really do that would have greater consequences than just change something about his life in the tank? If he has evaluated the situation, he must understand that he will never escape the tank, and that nothing he can do in the tank in the ordinary sense will have any real consequences in the larger sense, and yet he is not satisfied with the small

8

Th e Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

momentary pleasures which seem to satisfy the other fish, and he realizes that after he dies, his life will have no meaning for him, nor in the long run for anything or anyone else. But even though he cannot change the fact that he will live as a fish, and someday inevitably die as a fish, in a sealed tank, and that his life ultimately will have no meaning in the historical or geological sense, can he do something that would really change anything about his situation? To begin with, he would have to be able to piece together everything that was known about the tank, for which he would be dependent upon information gathered from other, generally undependable, sources, because although he is interested in obtaining a whole picture of the tank, he is still a fish of a certain species and can only extend his explorations so far and no farther. He is dependent on information from others because his own personal knowledge about the tank, gathered by himself, would be far too limited to make any serious deductions. But even if the secondhand information is distorted in some respects, he could gather sufficient data to enable him to obtain an overall view of the tank and actually grasp the fact that the tank was artificial, had definite limits, and that its purpose for existing-and his-was probably decorative, although this last idea might not occur to him for some time. In addition, he could gather information that would imply that a fixed type and amount of food suddenly appeared in the tank at more or less definite and predictable intervals, and moreover, that other elements of tank maintenance seemed to be in the hands of some unknown agency, acting from above. By putting together all available knowledge and combining it with his own experience, he might come to surprising results. For example, as he remembered his experience of breathing at the surface of the tank he might suddenly realize that he had sampled something on the other side of the water-perhaps an ocean of air just like his own liquid atmosphere only far less dense-which he recognized as an atmosphere which was definitely poisonous and deadly to his continued survival.

What toDo?

9

He would perhaps slowly remember that he had actually dimly perce ived this alien atmosphere long ago , b ut never paid m uch atte ntion to it or gave it much significance because it was so un plea sant . . . At the same time he wou l d know th at he could not surv i v e on

th e other s id e of th e t ank because he h a d t asted t h e

atmosph ere surroundin g it. He wou ld k n o w that as a fi s h he was not equ ipped for life outside the t a n k. He would soon come to realize th at , even if he could leave his miniature world and enter the high er dimen sion he had discovere d , he clearly could not surv i ve life in the h igher dimension . So by gatheri n g informatio n in t h i s way , R e dfin could eve ntually d i s cover the limits of th e tank ,

h i s world,

his

dime n s ion . He co uld set himself the task of deter mining very pre c isely the n at ure of these limits and by so doing , h e could definitely, wit h the right perception of the avail a b l e facts , c l e arly gr asp the fact t h a t the tank-h i s own dimen sion-was actu ally p art of our worl d-which would b e ,

in relation

to

his

world ,

another , higher dimension. If Redfin were able to deduce the existence of this hig her dimension s urro u n d ing the tank, and he also knew that the walls of the tank were tr a n s p are nt, h e would real i ze that the higher d i m e n s ion must b e v i s ib l e to him-mus t always h ave been visib l e to h i m-if h e could only readj u st h i s vision to penetrate b eyond what he knew to

be

the

l i m its

of h i s

universe. He would be able to realize th at the h igher d i m ension had been visible all along; that h e had always seen it, b ut bec ause his

vision

automatically

rej ected

and

rendered

invisib l e

everything beyond the tr ansp arent wal l s of the tank, he h a d not understood w h a t he

h ad b e e n se eing,

and h a d been

unaw are of its significance. If he knew that the walls of th e tank were transpare nt a n d that therefore h e had s e e n but rejected perceptions of the h i gher d i mension all along, h e wo uld understand that he was unab le to p erceive it because of a psychological b arrier .

10

The Human Biological Machine as a Transform ational Apparatus

He would realize at once that he would first have to break through this artificial barrier created by his own mind before he could directly perceive the higher dimension. He would see that, because his mind was conditioned to reject perceptions of the higher dimension, he might have trouble recognizing objects and events beyond the tank, but if he could overcome his automatic mental and emotional rejection, he would be able to obtain definite first-hand evidence of the higher dimension outside the tank. His vision is prevented by psychological convention from penetrating beyond the glass walls of the tank, but if he dares to break with convention, it need not remain confmed to his own little world. But even if he knows that his vision is blocked by artificial mental and emotional barriers and that in fact he has always seen but rejected the perceptions of the next higher dimension which he now deduces to exist all around him, how is he to come to actually see it? His vision is conditioned to the confines of the tank. What unusual movement will be necessary for him to be able to turn around and see with his own eyes the world which has surrounded the tank all his life and which, if he could only open his eyes, would appear to him at this very moment?

E.J. Gold, Our Potential for Inner Evolution, 3-13-91, Pastel on Sennelier, 10"x13".

12

The Human Biological Machine as a Transfonnational Apparatus

situation, escape to a higher dimension is both totally irrelevant and unnecessary . He might see something as astounding as a living creature as big as his entire universe. If he could understand that this creature was part of a dimension once removed from his own, he could deduce from this that there were other higher dimensions as well, perhaps an infinite number of dimensions all totally inaccessible to him, but even if inaccessible, he could, from the standpoint of his own lower dimension deduce from the evidence of at least one higher dimension, the existence of a highest dimension, the dimension of the Absolute. He might not realize it at first, but not only is the next higher dimension visible from his own, but all higher dimensions as well are in plain sight if he can make the adjustment in vision which would enable him to bypass the machine's natural rejection of their perception. He cannot learn much about these higher dimensions, but since they seem impossibly remote at the moment, it makes little difference to him in his immediate dilemma, but their very existence and the possible existence of the highest dimension give him the only clue he really needs to achieve his own transformation and evolution. Redfin might immediately decide to tell everyone about his discovery and ask others what they know or have deduced about it. He would not think this strange-after all, the higher dimension is easily visible just outside the transparent barrier of glass, requiring only a minor adjustment of vision to penetrate and render invisible the glass barrier which occludes its perception. Why, the moment he points it out, he reasons to himself, they ought to be able to see it for themselves! In his first excitement, he might dart this way and that about the tank, telling all those who were willing to listen­ whether out of curiosity, or the desire to collect more material for gossip, or out of a sincere desire to learn something-what he had so unexpectedly discovered about their situation, and how urgent it seemed to him to act on it.

Our Potential for Inner Evolution

13

He would soon discover to his complete puzzlement and seething frustration, that very few-if any-of the other fish were at all interested in what he had to say. Some would be too busy and preoccupied with the business of the tank, some would· not have the intelligence to understand what was being conveyed, others would not care to be distracted from their amusements, and others still would just not want to be bothered with something out of their comfortable routine. The fact is that most of them simply would not care about the limitations of their world, and certainly would have no interest in the existence of other higher and encompassing dimensions, even if they were easily observable. Not only would they find the idea incomprehensible and disturbing, but they would have no idea what to make of it. From their own view of themselves in relation to their world, they would be unable to find any value or potential to themselves in this. And how upset they would be with Redfin! What if he were right, and there was another higher dimension outside the tank? What would be the point in knowing about it? And when they contrasted their own petty lives against the background of an incomprehensibly vast reality ... How insignificant it would make them feel, especially if he could prove that an unthinkably greater being lived in this higher dimension and fed them, and look ed over them, and seemed interested in their affairs, and who not only took care of their most immediate needs, but who, according to many first-hand witness reports, actually lifted them up out of the tank into some sort of heaven-possibly Redfin's higher dimension-after they died. What could Redfin do, if he suddenly realized that he was alone with his new-found truths-that there was little or no hope of reaching anyone else, and if he did, what he had discovered would be inevitably distorted into some religious belief or psychological theory. He would have little or no hope of obtaining any real answers from the other fish, at the same time he would not

14

The

Transformational Apparat us

have grown too far beyond what he had been b efore , and he woul d still fee l the weight of the old, lost illusions . . . What aim could Redfin set himsel f after this shocking discovery ? What m ight be demanded of him? And woul d he , as he is, b e ab le to answer these deman d s ? Cou l d he ever really hope to hav e an object ive view of l ife understand what it means to outside the d imension right in the be i n a lower face? Even if the s e things , how in hims elf something coul d he use which wou l d something entirely different, s omething which would free him from his ordinary fate in l ife as a fish in a tank? He knows that whatever he might be able to learn , guess or deduce about the higher dimension itself would be i rrelevant to his immedi ate aim . H e would soon come t o realize that the most important thing for him at the moment would b e just to know that higher b e visible to him at this dimensions overcome his psychological very moment rejection of knowing this, he might also come to real ize of th eir percept ion is somehow tied Eventually deduce the possibil ity of changing himself in some way-certainly not physically, so it would hav e to be psycho-emotionally and perh aps in other more subtle ways as well-so that he could serve a h igher dimension without actually living in it. If he w ere abl e to see the higher dimension, an d had b een able to d educe the possibility of change , he would soon see for th at his only would b e to som ehow make and thus to a higher set of himself useful law s to which adapt . Evolution compelli n g necessity, without which above the vague wish to evolve b eyond

(),,/"

Potentialfor Inner Evolution

15

The first glimpse of a higher dimension could serve to provide the only clue that he would really need to understand l'Xactly how he could raise himself from his ordinary destiny as a fish in a tank, and use his life for some objective purpose, a purpose far beyond his life in the tank, but eventually if he hoped to go further, he would have to achieve more than just an occasional glimpse. If Redfin were to accomplish anything of objective value, he would have to discover that his only recourse would be to (hrow himself onto his own potential for inner evolution, and (ilat this would involve, at least in the beginning, the necessity of overcoming the natural biological rejection of the perception of the higher dimension. Redfin might, if he were thrown back on his own resources, discover some method which would utilize his only real possession, the only thing which can never be taken from him throughout hr·s life in the tank-his own body, with its mind, sensations and emotions. He might further be able to deduce a method of using his body, mind and emotions for his own evolution-while still remaining a fish in a tank-and he could conceivably, if he is very fortunate, also discover a use for his life, if he could find a way to activa'te his own inner evolution. In doing so, he would inevitably discover in the course of events a much higher purpose than his own small purposes, which would if he were able to bring himself into alignment with it, raise his whole life beyond the petty confines of the tank, and place him on a path which would require that he perform tasks of real significance, not necessarily of significance to himself. He might not even understand the aim and purpose of his activities for a very long time, but his life would be of genuine significance to something much greater than himself. In the course of his new discoveries, he might also come to realize that a part of himself is definitely not Redfin-not a fish in a tank-and that the evolution of this other, ordinarily unseen and unsuspected part of himself, is his only real chance to raise himself beyond his otherwise futile existence.

16

The Human Biological Machine as a Transfonna tional Apparatus

And why shouldn' t he be able to discover this unseen part of himself? Hasn ' t he already discovered a higher dimension outside the tank-a d imension which. if he had known how to look and what to look for. he would have seen all along ? He knows now that he need only turn his gaze inward and break through the psychological barri ers which reject the perception of the unseen part of h imself to find an essential self which is not the fish in the tank. and which he understands now would have been equally visible all his life, had he only known what he was looking for, and had he known how to recognize it when he found it. He has found a way to transcend his ord inary destiny as a living decorative object ; he knows and understands that he can never escape the tank as long as the fishy part of himself lives, and yet, if he understands the method of personal evolution, the use of the body, m ind and emotions as a transformational apparatus for the essential self, he has no immediate need to leave the tank in order to achieve his transformation and evolution, nor to change his outer life as a fish in any way. A fish he is, and a fish he will remain; what has really changed is his potential to take a much more meaningful place in the larger scheme of things . Like Redfin, perhaps we have already measured the limits of the tank, evaluated our lives in relation to the tank and to the other fish in the tank, and come to recognize clearly that nothing we do in the ordinary way, that is, in relation to our environment or to the other fish will be of an y real consequence. Let us assume that we know this and , like Redfin, we have had momentary glimpses of the next higher dimension from which we have deduced the existence of an Absolute dimension, and that from this we have further recognized the futility of life in the ordinary sense. If we have seen that mu ch-and we would not now be drawn to these ideas if we had not seen at least this-we would then be able to deduce the ex istence of an unseen part of ourselves and its potential for some form of evolution using the body, mind and emotions as a transformational apparatus . But what , specifically . are we to do now?

E.J. Gold, Transforming the Inner Self, 4-5-9 1 , Pastel on Sennelier, l O "x1 3".

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus Contrary to popul ar produce behavioral recognized from the OUlts llte.

transfomlation does not that can be easily of an entirely

different nature .

We are in a way victims of several diseases of civ ilization , one strong symptom of which is the characteris tic intellectual arrogance of our present culture. Intellectual arrogance can b e defined as the assumption that we fully u nderstand an idea the first time we h ear it , just because we h appen to recognize the word s and think we understand their deep , We should recognize many years , if ever, b efore we arrive u nderstanding of these ideas, an d even then un derst anding if we have personally measured them against observable

18

The Human B iological Machine as a Transform ationa l Apparatus

W h at w e as civilized h uman beings m ay have trouble understan d i n g is t h at ideas are fully graspe d only when t h ey reflect a corresponding i n n e r change; we come to u nderstand only w h at exists in ourselve s , and nothing e xists i n ourselves which

we

have

not

taken

within,

digested

and

de eply

con sidered with m u ch more than j u st the m ental apparat u s . In o r d e r to ful l y u n d erstand an idea, w e m u st h ave actually put it to use, b ecoming familiar with all its s u b tle ramific ations and connectio n s with oth e r i d e as already formed in u s through previou s experience . New ide a s , particularly ideas considered in this prepara­ tory work , will not fit into any known category . It is imperat i v e th at we c o m e to u n derstand that these ideas a r e n o t availab l e in th e mainstream, a n d t h at w e h ave never actually heard

t h e m before , even though we may think we are somewh at familiar with them through other source s . We

will

consider

several

i mportant

ideas

in

thi s

introduction to t h e Work and , as we hear these ideas , we m u s t remember t h a t we do n o t understand t h e m completely , and that , altho u g h we might clarify a point or two, we can never compl etely understand them

just by talking about them or

thinking abo u t them. I n ou r beginning work, w e wil l t urn our first attention toward t h e body , with its mental ,

emotional

and

motor

apparat u s e s , which when taken as a whol e , i s called in this syste m ,

the human biological machine .

Although it h a s cou ntless inner SUbj ective states which may give t h e impre s s io n of an unapproachable com plexity , the hu man b iological machine h a s only two definite objective states

w hi ch

are

of

any

real

i nterest

to

us

in

th e

transform ation al sense . The machine is either in t h e waki n g state or t h e s l e e p i n g state . I n t h e ordinary course of life ,

apart from momentary

accidental awak e nings , the machine i s asl e e p , and d u r i ng t h i s sleeping state , it exercises its own w i l l u p o n the situat i o n , and at the same tim e , its higher transformational functions are n ot activated .

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

19

In the sleeping stat e , its attention is completely fi xate d o n i t s o w n inner sUbjective

thoughts ,

emoti onal

states

and

sen sation s , or on those distractions and attract i o ns outside itself wh ich happen to impose themselves t h ro u g h t h e thick

veil of its sUbj ectiv e fix ation on itself, which is the real meaning of the ancient m yth of Narcissu s .

in o u r lives In spite of a long and

O u r experiences i n t h e s earch for real meani n g h ave all more or l e s s been the same .

sincere s earch for serio u s knowledg e , we never seemed to be able to fi n d real answers , practical answers . . . We were never able to fi n d ideas t h at worked and t h at act u al l y produ ced measurable resu l t s . M o s t of u s eventually came to t h e con clu sion t h a t people who were already i n t h e Work had for some reason decided to form a conspiracy to b e obscure and mysterious . B ut t h e p it iful truth i s t h at very few peopl e , even very famous and h ighly acclaimed directors of work com m u n itie s , act u ally know t h e b asic fact of wor k ; that only a n awakened h uman b iological m achine can produce a transformation al effect upon the essential self-that part of us w h i ch is not the m ach i n e . The m ajority o f work communities a r e fou n d e d on t h e b asis that it is t h e essential self which is aslee p, a n d w hich m u st be arou s e d from sleep . Because they remain u n aware of t h e e ssential self' s identification with t h e sleep of t h e mach in e , and t h e machine ' s potential a s a transform at ion al apparat u s only w h e n in the waking state , they have no h o p e o f achieving any aut h e ntic transformatio n . F e w p e o p l e k n o w this important secre t , yet e ven knowin g thi s secret does not g u arantee t h at they k n ow everyth i n g necess ary for t h e transmission of these idea s ; t h e y m ay n ot know how to communic ate t h e ideas to s o mebody else, and in any case , they m ay only know the i d eas mental l y , h aving never actu ally applied them i n a p ractical way to themselve s . A real teacher ought to b e able and willing to demonstrate his or her own tran sformation a n d waking state, and not j ust talk about

The Human BiologicalMachine as a Transjorm ationalApparatus

20

it . Talk i s cheap , and anyone who h a s listened to a few l e ctures and seems sincere , can convince the i g n orant. If we have seriously s earched for s o mething l ik e a school , it is obvious

to u s

t h at

ordinary

metho d s cannot p ro d uc e

anything other t h an ordinary re sults , extraordin ary

m e t h o d s of

a

school ,

and th at only m eth o d s

which

the are

u n k n o w n a n d unavailable i n t h e mainstream o f ordinary l ife , can p ro d u c e school result s . In thi s s e n s e , it can be und erstood t h at a school i s a com m unity of people gathered toget h e r for th e p urpos e of awakening their m achin e s and u sing t h e awak e n e d mach i n e for the

purpose of transformation toward

their p o s s ib l e

evolution . Th e s e

e arly

definitions of a

school ,

of work,

sleep ,

awakening and transformation are to b e taken as temporary and i n co m p l et e ideas . W e will further d efine the ideas of sleep , awakening and transformation in the course of t h i s intro d u ction to work w i t h a school . If t h e

awakening of the

m achine

and

the

resulting

transformation of the essential self cou l d b e p roduced in any ord i n ary w ay , then an y one who h a s ever lived an ordinary l ife s h o u l d have b e e n transformed and there would b e no nece s s ity for schools . A n d ye t, schools exist , a n d if we know nothing else abo u t t h e Law of Conservation of Energy , we d o u n d erstand t h a t nothing e x i s t s without n e ce s s ity . We also should have deduced that,

if transfo r m ation

pro d uced results which w e could recognize in someone el s e , then w e m i g h t think that every gen i u s w h o ever lived ought to have achieved transformation . But even the greatest h u m a n b e i n g s i n the w h o l e parade of history h a v e faile d to achie v e transformation i n a n y real s e n se o f the word . B u t h ow c an we even think of coming to a school unless w e u n derstand right from t h e very b eginning the fou n d ation, t h e b a s i s , t h e deepest p re m i s e of t h e Work : th at t h e h u m a n biological machine-but only i n i t s awakened state-is t h e tran s formational appar atu s for the p o ssib l e evolution of t h e essential self?

Tlt e Human Biological Machine as

a

Transformational Apparatus

21

When the machine is awake, its attention turns inward l oward the essential self, that part of ourselves which is not lhe machine When its attention is thus fixated on the essential self, this produces definite transformational effects For our very beginning work, we can think of the human b iological machine as an alchemical factory which, if it can be awakened from its mechanical sleep, produces the transfor­ mation and evolution of the essential self. The essential self may become drunk with the sleep of the mach ine, completely identified with it . The essential self may even come to think of itself as asleep, but the fact remains that the essential self, is neither awake nor asleep . How can we see this mysterious essential self? The human biological machine reflects the presence of the essential self in much the same way a Wilson Cloud Chamber can demonstrate the presence of unseen particles Although we cannot see the essential self directly , we can see the results of the path it took, its effects on the machine. The W ilson Cloud Chamber is a device which graphically shows the path, not of what we are measuring, but of something invisible which collided with something we can see and measure. We can measure visible particles in the Cloud Chamber , particles which moved because of a transfer of energy that occurred during an impact with something we could not see, and from this deduce a great deal about the thi n g we cannot see. We can tell quite a bit about this invisible essential self just by measuring its effects . Like the Cloud Chamber, the human biological machine is a reciprocal biofeedback apparatus in relation to the essential self. Because both the essential self and the machine are electrical in nature, the two fields impinging upon one another produce a third electrical field which can be expressed mathematical ly. In addition, each field can radically affect the other , which can work to our evolutionary advantage. Later, we will discuss this important idea in detail . .

.

.

CHAPTER 5 Beyond Personal Enhancement Most psychological methods provide us with a means to achieve

personal

enhancement

by

changing

behavioral

patterns of the 'machine' . Real transformational methods enable us to achieve objective change by transforming the 'essential self' and completely disregarding the effect we have upon others. In the b eginnin g , we will be concerned almost exclu s ively with the awakening of the machine from its sleep, a state to which all h u m a n s are subj e ct in the ord inary course of life . Our earl iest work will b e to raise ourselves from t h e h elpless fixation of t h e machine upon its ordin ary organic purs uits. Even a s u perficial study of our situation d e m o n s trat e s clearly t h at i n o u r present condition , we are utterl y powerles s t o prevent ourselves from being carri e d along b y t h e machine in these p u rs u it s , the m aj ority of which go completely c o ntrary to our h i g h e st aims , aspirations and intentions .

E.]. Gold, Beyond Personal Enhancemen t, 4-22-9 1 , Pastel on Sennelier, l O"x13".

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformationa l Apparatus

24

At its best , the h u man b iological m achine should fu nction as a chemical and electrical factory through which we pass in a definite series of proce s s e s , enterin g at one end of th e facto ry in what we call birt h , emerging at the other end du ring th e death of the machine as something quite different , in much t h e s a m e w a y that a n y raw material would enter a factory a n d emerge as a fin ished product a t the oth er end . We say in both cases that a tran sform ation h as occurred ; in the first instance an extraordin ary i n ner transformation visible only to a train e d observer , and in the secon d cas e , an ordinary transformat ion visible to the untrained eye . While in hu m an form w e take upon ourselves all t h e attrib u te s , aspect s , a n d knowledge of a h u m a n bein g . I f t h e m achine has b e e n dead during o u r p assage through it , whe n we leave i t a t t h e e n d o f life , w e lose everything, all the knowledge and all the experience w e had accumulated . If the electrical force of tran sformation is activate d , the essential self i s ch anged , transformed, so th at we retain the knowledg e , the attributes , of a h u m an being . But th i s is tru e only if we h ave passed through somethin g living,

something

which h a s had a definite electri cal effect upon our ess ential self. If we h ave p assed through s o m ething dead, col d ,

something

lifeles s ,

someth ing

dark,

the

som ething e l ectrical

transformational effect is ab sent . In this cas e , the essential self em erg e s at t h e end of life com pletely unch ange d . I t i s a terrible waste o f the opportu n ity o f h u man life, a genuine s i n ,

to h ave failed to u se the h uman

biological

mach ine for our pos sible evol utio n . Most people feel that th ey are wasting their l i v e s , and at one time or another recognize that if they really wanted to , they could find o u t quite easily the real purpose of hu man l ife . I t is

not

a p articularly well- kept secret,

a n d even

a

su perficial s earch soon reveals the answer . If we understand th at most hu man b e ings do

in fact

know that they cou l d know

their purpose for exi stence hut do nothing about it , we understand the basis of sleep, which i s sometim e s formulated as , the secret keeps itse lf .

E .}. Gold, Beginning Work, 2-3-91 , Pastel o n Sennelier, lO"x1 3" .

CHAPTER 6

Beginning Work The purpose of waking state

h",,�I_'nln

and

apparatus . Transformation

machine into the transformational in itself but

a

stepping stone to

Th e purpose of the m ajority of our special exercises is not particularly mysterious. It is the aim of all our beginning work to bring the m achine to l ife, to raise ourselves fro m its hypnotic and compelling b iological fixations, to shake off the coils of desire, our immersion in its w asteful sleep, thus producing from the ordin ary hu man machine a fun ct ioning transformational cumulative , the Since the periods of awakening sense, it m akes no asleep or for how difference how often long. Nothing is lost. rememb er to awaken it again by whatever brin g it back to life .

26

Th e Human Biological Machine as a Transformationa l Apparatus

The s p ecifi c activiti e s of the machine are irrelevant in relation to our transform ation ; what really m atters i s w hether the machine i s awake or asleep . In t h i s s e n s e , we must keep in mind that our r e al aim is not transfor m ation . Transformation is a stepping stone to the Work , a special w ay of life which is possible for us o n l y after our essential selves h ave b e e n transform e d , and our m achines are more or l e s s stab l e in t h e awakened state . W h en becomes

our a

transformation

is

com p lete,

the

machine

tool for work . It has cleared itself of those thi n gs

which made it non -fu n ctional as a w ork too l . The Work c a n only be seen and u n d erstood through an awakened machi n e . We cannot see the Work if our machine is asl e e p , so o n e of the p u rposes of awakening the m achi n e is to be able to study the Work. W e should take the opport u n ity to use the awaken e d state to study the Work, so t h at we will k n ow what to do w ith our transformation once it is achieve d . I t is i m portant t h at w e u s e t h e few awakened p eriods availab l e to us, t h at w e not putter them away in pursuits of pleasures of the flesh ; that we actu ally

do s omethin g w ith

them for o u r possible evolutio n . How to b est u s e these periods of awakenin g is

an

e ntirely

different q u e stion which will b e e x pl a in e d in d etai l later o n . M o s t of u s here a r e still beginners and s h o u l d therefore devote ourselves to beginning work . In ou r present state, before our transformation has occurred , o u r study is limited to the study and application of variou s metho d s of awakeni n g the machine . It is the task of a s chool to act as our temporary guid e , and to introduce u s to the transformat ional apparat u s , our true teacher; to help us develop a working relation s h ip w ith the machine toward our possible evolution . To awaken the factory and turn i t toward its transforma­ tional fu nction req u ires knowledge-exact know l e d g e . W e m u s t k n o w exactly w h i c h lower and higher motor , refl exive , m e nt al and e motional app aratus e s must b e activated for e ach effect in the transformat io n al proce s s .

27

Beginning Work

Although the specific activities of the m achine h ave n o rel ation to i t s awak e n in g , a n d awakening cannot b e produced by any specific activities, certain sp ecial exerci s e s can help u s t o gain t h e will necessary t o coax two attributes of t h e essential self into action in order to bring t h e machine into the waking state . We will soon discover, as we begin to g ather serious con cl u sive evidence of the m ach i ne ' s slee p , and the exact nature of t h i s sleeping state , that the e s sential self-which is not in the sleeping state but a state quite ap art fro m anything belonging to the machine-possesses no attributes of its own other than its i m partial presence and the simple w il l - of­ attention

which ,

in

the

e arly

state,

is

u n e x ercised

and

therefore weak . We will also soon realize t h at in spite of its h igher aims and aspiratio n s , the e s s e ntial self has no will i n t h e ordinary sen s e , by which it can compel the machine t o l i v e according t o its higher n at u r e . So we m u st u s e what we actu ally do h ave i n t h e e ss ential self, the two genuine attributes of the essential s elf-presence and will-of- attention-to bring t h e mac h in e i n to t h e wak i n g state , and for t h i s we will b e forced to d e v e l o p a strategy , a n exact strategy by which w e c an

effectively

activate the

transformational properties of t h e human b iological mach i n e without a l s o a t t h e s ame time i n advertently triggering t h e m achine ' s d efense mech anism a gainst the w a k i n g state . We will t a l k more about thi s defense mechan i s m , what it means and how to d i sarm and de-activate it l ate r , but first we m u st u n d erstand several things. On the biological level , the h u m an b iological machine i s a ch emical factory j ust like any other chemical factory , o perating under the s am e b asic ch emical l aws. It is reg u l ated b y very small electrical p u l s e s coursing t hrough t h e m yo - ne urological system , wh ich i s to say , the muscles and nerves . In addition , we must h ave some i de a of h ow the factory operates , w h at it actually is, of what it is capabl e , and how to make it function as an apparat u s for the tran sformation of energy, the stuff of which our essential selves are m ade . We will stu d y the machine as a chemical factory in the course of

28

The

Transfonnational Apparatus

our beginning work . At the same time, we will study it as an electrical fiel d and even as a self-propeUed mechanism responding to inner and outer stimuli, conditioned and regulated by several important primate d irectives and biochem ical imperatives which w e will discuss in a l ater tal k . Because the caus ative agent of transformation , i ntended to directly and the results of produce transformation such exercises for the purpos e o f Our exercises state , fro m which state it bringin g the is possible to activate the machine' s tran sformational function s . If we expect to awaken the m achine and activate it as a transformation al apparatus, w e must develop the higher faculty of discernment ; we must recognize periods when the machine is awake and , more importantly, periods when it is not.

We must because we must be whether the able to use awake , we will not work If we think to awaken it awake, we will obtain no producing i maginary real result s results . Also we could e asily hurt ourselves and others by trying to do something i n sleep as if w e were awake. At the same time, if the machine is awake , we must not waste the awakened state o n things of sleep . If we know for a fact that the m achine i s asleep , and we also know when the machine is awake, we will b e abl e to apply a variety of methods to produce definite transformational results . But how a doubt whethe r the machin e is

E.J. G old, Sheep in Sleep, 4-2-9 1 , Pastel on Sennelier, 1 O " x 1 3 " .

CHAPTER 7 Sheep in Sleep Because

the

machine-although

fully

functional

in

the

ordinary sense-lives its whole life in the sleeping state, our work b egins in sleep. We must learn to use the elements of sleep to overcome the machine ' s defense mechanism against the waking state.

If we realize t h at our attention is totally immersed in a sleeping m achine , we u n derstand that we cannot possibly do things as we would if it were awake. We must recognize that if the machine is asleep , a n d we are to work seriously to awaken it , we must b e g in our work in sleep, u si n g the elements of sle e p . B ut ,

e v e n while immersed

machin e ' s slee p ,

in

identification

if we know that i t is the machin e

with t h e which is

asleep, w e c a n u s e special work methods which are specifically designed to be used in the sleeping state. Becau se all work must necessarily begin i n sleep-after all , if our machines were already i n the wak i n g state , w e would h ave n o need for work o n o u rselves in the first pl ace-we must u s e all the e l ements of t h e sleeping state to overcome the sleeping

state ;

the

weaknesses,

desire s ,

h al l u cinations ,

30

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

fix ation s , organic pursuits of pleasure , and su ggestibility of the s l e e p i n g machi n e . Sleep in itself i s n o t bad . It i s our fixation

on sleep while at

the s am e time t h in k i n g t h at we are awake , which can cause u nconscio u s suffering, and we remain fixate d in the machin e ' s sleeping state b ecau se w e d o not know how t o overcome the m achin e ' s defe n se mechanism against the wak i n g stat e . In a short while , we will discuss th is idea, but first we must come to understand several ideas which form t h e fou n d ation for our work to d i s arm the defe n se mechanism of the machine again st the waking stat e . If we a r e fre e fro m t h e s e du ctive influences of t h e sleepi n g stat e , b y wh ich I m e a n that we a r e free fr o m o u r own natur al desires for the momentary pleasures and s e d u ctions of t h e sleeping stat e , we c a n u s e t h e m i n a d ifferen t w a y , w h ich w e cou l d c a l l jiu-jitsu

yoga , u sing t h e hab its and h ungers o f t h e

machine to overcome the machine ' s w i l l to r e m a i n a s l e e p . F o r t h i s we a r e forced to come to a schoo l , where we can find an outside g u i d e , a helper, to obj e ctively observe t h e machine a n d tell us exactly which l everage t o apply . We cannot d e p e n d upon our own mental ap p aratus for thi s . It i s , after all , j u st another part o f t h e machine , a n d i f w e depen d u p o n i t to make i t s o w n rul e s b y w h i c h w e a r e t o guide our work , if we trust the mach in e to invent metho d s for its own awaken i n g , its sleep wil l only b ecom e deeper and final l y , in the end , we will d rown in the machin e ' s dreams . I f w e really wish t o seriously work toward our possib l e evolution , w e m u st clearly realize t h at we are sheep i n sleep , that

the

sleeping

machin e

is

a

completely

mec hanical

apparatus , responding strictly by reflex to a v ariety of i n n er and outer influence s . Should we atte mpt t o work u n d e r t h e a s s u mption that the machine i s already awake , then we will not work to awaken the machin e . In ad dition , there is a greater danger. If we allow ourselves to become victims of a h al lucinatory m etho d which provides the illusion a n d sensations of imaginary awakening, we may try to use work m et ho d s which properly belo n g to an awakened machin e .

31

Sheep in Sleep

We can u s e o u r attention to watch carefully and i n t e nsely everyt h i n g

the

m achine

doe s .

We

soon

gather

enough

evide nce to convince u s without a s h re d of dou b t t h at it thinks by auto matic a s sociatio n , th at it can con d u c t an i nternal dialogue w ith itself, and respond in very com p l e x p atter n s to all possible situations without our d irectio n , a n d even without the p articipation of our attention ,

that it knows

all

the

appropriat e gesture s , all the correct social , intellectual and emotional

protocol . . .

To o u r a s to n i s hment, as w e study the activitie s of the m achine , we see the hands g esticul ating w il d l y , s e e mingly with a mind of their own , the mouth i s s uing p roclam ations which do not even vaguely resemble our real feelings and attitud e s , w hile the whole mach i n e b u s i ly follows the daily routine of life , fan atically obeying artificial a n d arbitrary sch e d u l e s and timetables that somebody made up o ut of t h e b l u e , a n d w allowing i n o n e upset a ft e r anothe r about some imaginary trifl e or oth e r . W e q uickly c o m e to u n dersta n d the sinister p urpo s e o f social rit u al ; we see h o w it h e l p s to p e rpetu ate t h e m ach i ne ' s sleep ! W e see th at life i n the ordin ary s en s e i s rit u a l ized because a sleeping machine works o n ly for its own s u rvival , and it m u s t continue to function d ay after day , without a master .

If our work is to really b e g in in s l e e p , we m us t somehow bring ourselves to the realization , w ith the full impact of t ruth , that the machine is really asleep; t h e n we w ill h ave taken the first real step toward crushin g t hat p ersonal vanity behind which i s insecurity , b e h i n d which i s a d eep fear which w e can only allow to e x p r e s s its el f as vanity , which will not allow us to admit even to ourselves t h at we h ave falle n from our h igher state ,

that

we

have b e come corrupted

by our biological

bapti s m , o u r total immersion i n the slee p of the h uman m achine . O u r v a n ity convinces u s t h at t h e m ach ine i s awake and su pports this ill u s ion w it h activity , s e n s ation an d associative thought .

32

The

Transfonnational Apparatus

All arguments against the sleep of the machine w hich use activities as evidence-how can we go to work every day if the m achine i s really asleep? How can we hold a decent conversation? How c an we cook? How can we play? How can w e eat? How can we even dress ourselves if the machine is asleep ?-make the mistake of u sing the ordinary d efinition of sleep which is meaning w e give to it here . Let us imagine and that someone is trying to convince drunk. But how can we b e convinced of the more sober we fee l I When the m achine is asleep , we cannot be convinced th at the machine is asleep . It is even more difficult for someone else to convince us because at the moment they call our attention to the machine ' s sleep, w e become more alert , more on guard and , in spite of ourselves, the machine begins to awaken. Th e n , when w e relax, sleep b e gins to reas sert itself and once again we rules for ourselves, but the truth is a straight lin e . I f w e can ourselves, if we can bring ourselves m achine is really and it. truly asleep , we U s ing the we will try to sense our immersion in the sleep of the machine, even though our mental apparatus lies to itself and to us, that we seem to be awak e, to have volition , free will . I f w e can only obtain some definite proof that the m achine i s aslee p , then w e will know that we are walking around in a dream , just as in the children's rhyme,

merrily,

33

Sheep in Sleep

Before we go any further, we should t ry to u n d e rstand what the words of this rhyme act u ally tel l u s . Th is i s n ot a n ordinary children ' s rhy m e . W h e n u s ed i n a special w ay , it can stimulate definite alte rations in t h e brain and n ervous syste m . If w e can s e parate i t from its automatic mental association with childre n ' s n ursery rhymes, we can

see that it was

accidentally overhe ard sometime in the p a st and t h at it was at some t i m e , b efore its degeneration i nto a p l ay-verse , obviously the product of a s ch ool . Let u s s ee if we can do somet h in g right n o w , to use this disarmingly simple rhym e to h e l p u s sense t h e sleep of the m achin e . We should now fi n d a b alance point for our m achine , a posture in which we feel t h at we would b e able to sit virtually forever. We will park the machine in t h is posture , and not move it until the exerc i s e is complet e . We wi l l n e x t remove t h e social m a s k w hich i s h e l d i n place by facial t e n s ions , noticing in p a s s ing the e xtreme amount of e nergy we ordinarily commit toward the m aint e nance of t h i s social m as k . We h av e n o n e e d to b e social in th i s s ituation , and in any cas e , w e need this energy for our work ju s t now , so w e should be able to allow ourselves to relax the facial mask, which should go completely lim p . T h e e y e s are to remain o p e n during the whole o f t h i s exercise a n d each time we repeat the rhyme, w e w il l t r y to sen se t h e

sleep

of t h e

m ach i n e ,

with

a

mood

of mild

astonishment, as would a very young child . If we hope to enter th i s s pecial dimen sion , we m u st b ecome as children , a n d re-Iearn consci o u sly what w e have forgotte n about ourselves a n d o u r experienc e of t h e world . Now , very softly , and in a very relaxed tone we will repeat :

' Row, row, row the hoat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Life Is but

a

dream.'

34

The

Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

I n the same s l ow cadence, we will repeat t h is mantram over and over again until the sensation c om e s over u s that it is the machi n e wh ich is asleep . In this b eginning exercise , we w il l try to s e n s e the sleep of the m ach i n e , u s i n g th i s mantram to remind ourselves that it i s not u s , b u t t h e machine , which i s asleep . I f t h e s e n s ation of the sleeping m achine goes away , w e m u s t t ry again u ntil th e sensation remain s . Thi s exercise i s t h e very b eginning fou n d ation o f work . If we do n ot h av e a good foun d atio n , we cannot b uil d upon it, so we should take the time to realize, to actually sen se t h at t h e mach i n e i s i n fact asleep , not j u st i n an ab stract philo sophical way but in a very real sense. If w e know the machine i s a s l ee p , we h ave o n e foot o n the path . If w e can sense t h at the m achine i s aslee p , we h ave two feet on the path . From then on , at least t h i n gs c annot get any worse , they can only get b etter. The s e n s ation of the sleepin g machine

will make all

intellect ual arg u m e nt for work unnece s s ary . In our daily life , regardless of the circumstances in which we find ourselves immersed , we m u st try to actually obtain , and then h ol d , the s e n s ation of the sleepin g m achine , a t first doing nothing to awaken it d ire ctly . Observation alone will act upon it to aw aken it slowly and gently . We will work to keep this s e n s ation active in some p art of our attention all day lon g , no matter how d i stracti n g the activities . Remember always t h at i t i s the mach i n e which i s aslee p , and that we are not t h e m achine . . . t h at w e h ave been drawn down , s e d u c e d into the sleep of the mac h i ne . It will take a while to catch on to the idea , but once we d o , we will h a v e our first real taste o f w h at it r eally means to work. Of course

we

all

h ave our

ordinary obligatio n s

and

respons i bilitie s , a family to take care of, we go to work , h ave tax probl e m s . . . All of this is u seful and we should not try to change it. When we try to change our lives , if we happen to accidentally succee d , w e lose the only h andholds we have on our work.

Sheep in Sleep

35

It does not m atter what we do in l ife . We do not have t h e time to a l l o w the m achine to settle i nto a new life and establish whole new p attern s . We must l ive our life as i t is, and just begin with thi s first s mall step . We can p e rfor m any activity , h o l d any ordinary j o b i n l ife , live any way we wish to a n d , if w e j u s t attune ourselves to our sen s i n g , w e can begin our work i n sleep b y gathering the evid e n c e , u sing a special form of attention called sensin g , b y which we m e a n only t h at we have b ecome intensely aware o f t h e s e n s ations of t h e m achine, to convince ourselves o f t h e sleep of t h e m ach i n e . O u r intellect may t e l l u s t h a t w e are awake , b u t our sensing tells u s that t h e m ac h i n e i s a sl e e p . O u r b e liefs may convince u s that we a r e awake , b ut o u r s e n s i n g t e l l s u s that the m achine is asle e p . O u r vanity may i n s i s t t h a t we a r e awake , b u t o u r sen s in g t e l l s u s that the m achine i s asl e e p . O u r h i g h e r p hilosophies and religions may i n s i s t t h a t we are awake , b u t o u r sensing tells u s t h at t h e machine is asleep . If we c an sense that t h e mach ine is asleep , we h ave t aken the first real step toward awaken ing it . Until the n everything in our l ives , espec i ally o u r work, is imagin ary , j u st fantasy . If we c a n only sense t h e machine ' s sleep i n e v eryth ing w e do , n o matter how comple x , how rapid , how exhilarat e d or seemingl y exalted ! Of course it all b e g in s with the though t , ' I s it possible? I have h e ar d a vag u e rumor that m y machi n e is asl ee p . Can it really b e true ? ' This t h e m e wi ll form the in n e r b asis of e veryt h i n g w e do in the b e g i n ning . We now h ave b efore us ou r first work , to obtain occasional glimp ses of the truth ; to gather defi n it e evidence that the m ach i n e really i s aslee p .

CHAPTER 8 Inner Aims By

m aking

i.nner

our

work aim , not SOlltliettUln which is practical, actually serve

a

aims

toward

eventually d evelop

transformation u.. . u�,.nl"'"

subjective but

a

an

real aim

acconll p U!,hable and which could

2rE,at€3r

Even if we were successful in life in the ordinary sense, we probably very quickly realized that the things that we coul d accomplish in ordinary life simply would not satisfy u s in any serious w ay . Above all , w e became dissatisfied w ith life a s w e were more or less forced to l ive i t . We knew that there was more to l ife, but we didn ' t W e couldn ' t exactly how to g o about fin ding what for , but we did This feeling of have a vague dissatisfaction principal reason we come t o a s chooL

E.J. Gold, Inner Aims, 4-5-91 , Pastel o n Sennelier, 1 0 "x13".

38

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

accu mulation of work ideas . We m u st come to und erstand very quickly and very clearly that com municatin g about the ideas is not actu ally using the id eas, and w e came here not j us t to discu s s ideas b ut to learn to use t h e m . I n our work i t i s demanded o f u s that w e un de rstan d exactl y w h at we are trying to do . The oute r form may change radical ly

tomorrow,

and yet the

u n derlying th read

must

remain t h e same , the sub-text underneath our changing work­ forms must remain the s ame. When we first come to a school , the question i s put to u s , why are w e h e re , what d o w e wish for oursel v e s , w h at d o w e seek here , w h y d o w e impose ourselves upon t h i s co m m u nity ? Our original aims in our work will chang e , and they may change s u rprisingly ofte n . There are only two reason s to ch ange our aim. The first reason is that i n the course of pursuing one aim , our vi sion has grow n . W e are able to formulate our aim more clearly and more to the point.

As we begin to learn , our

te mporary aim will change with an understanding of th e greater purpose of the Work . When we ch ange our aim , we m u st be ab s olutely certain that we are not ab andoning the aim j u st b ecau se we feel l ike giving u p . We ch ange aims only when the p revio u s aim no longer serves the greater purpose . The second re ason that we might change our aim is that we have actually acco mplished it. We have one great p urpose for being in a school and then a variety of s m aller aims which serve t h at greater p u rpos e . I f w e were

in certain work communities i n other countrie s ,

and w e answered i ncorrectly when w e were asked why w e were here , we would b e asked t o leave the community and , from that day forward , we woul d never be ab l e to pe netrate that com m u n ity-we wou l d never get past the person w h o gave the interview a t the gate . We m u st p erfect our aim in order to even gain adm ittan ce to many com m u n itie s w here these ideas can be learn t . In a way , it would help u s to be turned away from commu n ity after comm u n ity until w e had sharpened and formulated our aim

39

Inner A im s

exact l y , and u n t i l we had developed a reaJ aim , s omethi n g which cou l d actually s e rve a greater a i m , n ot somethi n g subj ective and fantastical . However, in this cou ntry , we are n ' t turned away from com m u n ity after community. We are accepted w it h open arm s regardl e s s of our vague gropings for meaning in our lives , because we d on ' t h ave communities with high ethical , high­ integrity stan dard s . Only if w e express an aim w h ich is act u ally again s t t h e aim of the work community are w e asked to leave . So now teachers are forced to take it u po n themselves t o educate

pupils

from

the

first

beginn ing

groan i n g s

of

discomfort with ordinary l ife to t h e formul ation of higher aims which cou l d realistically b e achieved and appl i e d to this life right now . In

any

case ,

formulated an

in

the

begin ning

we

would

obj ective aim for ourselves

not

h ave

by ourse l v e s ,

because the m aterial and e q u ipment for the formu l ation o f a real aim is simply not available in the mainstream information . So even had we wanted to , even if we had real ize d t h at our aim was insufficient , w e could not h ave formulated it better until we came to a school and obtained information abou t work which i s not avail able i n books or in l ecture s . We n e e d s pecial h e l p even t o understand w h y w e come t o a school . B u t once we do understand what we are trying to accompli s h , it is our respons ib ility to make certain that people i n g e nerations fol lowing ours also are educated from their first v ague discomforts to an u nderstandin g of a real a i m . W e are a l so expected t o educate others i n t h e u nderlying facts and u n derstandings which are t h e basis for this work to the extent t h at they will not sim ply repeat w h at they h ave heard as an a i m , but turn aro u n d a n d e d u c ate people who come after them towards an u nderstan ding of what it means t o work . It i s a process o f educatio n , n o t o f information . All along t h e l in e the q u estion of o u r p u rp ose in being in a school will apply, because in the process of accomplishing our greater

p u rpose

form u l ate d .

many

s m aller

aims

w il l

come

to

be

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

40

lf these new aims are to be real a i m s , they m u st actually b e accomplish abl e . The n ature o f our earliest aims i s that they d o change according to our u nderstanding. As our understanding grows ou r aims will reformulat e . O u r very fi r s t a i m in a s c h ool will b e a definit e , obj ective school aim which we are expected to accomp lish . Before that all our aims are s u bj ectiv e , b ased upon hearsay, speCUl ation , vague

wonder ,

some

t h ird ,

fourth

and

even

h u n d redth

generation information , and equally vague year nings . From t h e time we first enter a school u n til t h e time we are initiated into t h e first obj ective aim, a l l our aims will b e subj ective and personal , and i t can n ot b e otherwise . While t h e m achin e is asleep, the only e q uipment with which we coul d u nderstand the g reater aim i s the mental apparatus a n d t h e mental apparatu s cannot grasp the greater purpo s e . T h e obj ective a i m s o f o u r work as a community lead i ne xorably toward the greater purpose . Each of these aims is accomplish abl e and the proof of their objectivity i s that they are acco m p l i s h ab l e . Perhaps we h ave devel oped a sense of a potential for evolutio n . We thought somehow, somewhere , we b e lieved in a higher form of l ife , something greater. B u t without definite evidence this c a n only b e a b e lief and not somet h i n g which we could verify in our own experie nce . We can imagine that most of us h ave formulated t h i s belief, t h at there m u st b e som e p u rp ose in life , t h at there must b e more to it tha n j ust an endless round of p l e a s ure and p ain and

pursuit

of

this

attraction ,

and

immersio n

in

t h at

d i stractio n , a n d so o n . T o a n s w e r t h i s belief woul d require t h at w e were ab l e t o somehow compre h e n d the greater purpo s e .

E.J. Gold, Study of the Machine, 2-5-91, Pastel on Sennelier, 1 0"x1 3 " .

Study of the Machine Although w e are

I'il':tUU""U::

hypnotized, immersed

we h ave become of the machine.

One of the purposes evidence w hich sleep .

The idea that the machine i s asleep does not automatically call for b elief or faith, b ecause we can easily see for ourselves that the machine i s asleep . Although as essenti al beings we have separate existence apart from the machine , we have become distracted fro m our native state which lies far beyond space and t im e , hypnotically attracted to the fascination , and we are presently of sensation and emotion , entirely a s a result of our total identification machine, partakingwhether w illingly sleeping state . Actually , in fortu nate for us becau s e , although

42

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

the cause of much needles s s ufferin g , it als o provides us with the opport u nity for transformation , which would otherwise b e impossible without t h e m achine ' s functioning a s a transfor­ m ational a p p aratu s . In

its

present

state ,

functions e ntire l y b y emotional

and

motor

the

refle x ,

human

b iological

answeri n g

apparatuses

the

with

mach i n e

its

mental ,

vario us

stimuli

presented by the environment and even by t h e machin e ' s own imaginin g s and accidental stimulations of m emory and m ental s i m u l ations of possible event s which seldom happen as t h e m achine proj ects a n d extrapolates them . We can learn how to see a n d s e n s e t h e machine' s slee p , a n d w e c a n gather incontrovertible eviden c e o f t h e machine ' s sleeping state beyond a shadow of a dou b t , evidence strong enough to stand up in a court of l aw . S t u d y of t h e m achine' s sleeping state can a l s o serve a second purpo s e , helping us to define the exact n ature of this sleep. B u t first of all , before we can even set out to gather evidence of any kind about the machin e , w e must agree that we do in fact live o u r lives in a h u m an b iological mac h i n e . We m u st s e e that, although we have s p e nt ou r whole lives immersed in total i dentific ation with the machine , and t h e very fibre of our b e i n g s h as been since b irth ine xtricably woven into the life of t h e m ach i n e , offering p l e nty of opportun ities for stu d y , we h ave never act u al l y studied the m achine and its life . B u t it is n o t enough to j ust study t h e m achine in the ordinary w ay ; t h at is , identified with the mach i n e . This would b e the s a m e as the machi n e studying itself. We must l e arn somehow to stu d y the m achine objective l y , from outside , in much t h e s a m e way that an anthropologist would study any other primate-and ultimately, the h uman b iological machin e is a prim ate , w it h more or l e s s the s ame prim at e directives and biological imperatives common to t h e s p e c ie s-in it s n atural habitat. If we c a n not agree to these two beginning i de a s , then everything t h at follows i s useles s , and w e m ight as well go somewhere e l s e where we can h e ar what we want to h e ar-

43

Study of the Machine

perhaps some n i c e , comforting s p i ritual mythol ogy-in our never-ending search for the mean ing of life , b e ca u s e we w il l have n o further possibility h ere . In the beginning of o u r stu dy of the m ac h i n e , our first definition of sleep w ill b e that it i s

not a wake , whatever that

means . . . and we will begin to define this sleeping state in depth as we proce e d , so its meaning will definitely change as we penetrate more and more deeply into thes e ideas . In addition , we m ay know a l ittle someth i n g about what it means for the machine to be not asl e ep , becau s e we may h ave experienced glimpses of the awakened state fro m time to t i m e , e v e n if only b riefl y . I n any cas e , we know or we h ave guessed that t h e r e i s another state very different fr o m t h e ordin ary stat e , which is possible for the m achi n e , and which l e ad s to anoth e r , very different multi-dimensional experience of l i fe t h an that to which we h ave b ecome accusto m e d . We also k n o w from o u r o w n e x perience that we do not ord i n arily live in this different state , although w e may think of this exalted state as real l ife , as we and the mach ine o u gh t to live it if w e only cou l d . W e a l s o know that i f w e have e x p e rienced thi s state-let u s c a l l i t t h e waking state-we have experience d i t o n l y briefly and p a rt i al l y , and then fallen from it for some inexplicable reason , into a state of comparative d arkne ss , a d ark and gloomy d u ngeon of m i serable existence, j ust a shadow of what we s aw to b e possib l e . To our

u tter

astonishment,

w e come t o

realize that

everyone e l s e regards this dark and g loomy sleeping state as quite acceptable and even comfo rt able and agre e ab l e . W e eventually come t o under st an d that our first faltering ste p s into the w aking state are only the b e g i n n i ng of real awake n i n g . But to our disappointmen t , we soon find t h at our first obj ective aim i n a school is not, as we would e x p e ct , to awaken the machi n e , but to allow th e m achine to r e m ai n in the sle e p i n g state while w e gather evidence to s atisfy ourselves

44

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

that we do indeed live in a m achine , and th at the m achi n e is defi n itely asleep . Some of t h e evidence of sleep which we g ather will b e indirect . For example. w e may accidentally stumble i nto a state where we see th at the m achine is alive , that it has awakene d , even if only momentarily and accidentally. W e can d e d u ce fro m this that until now, since t h e ordinary state is very d ark and dense in comparis o n , the m achine must h ave been asleep . We b e g i n to d iscover the horrifyi ng truth-that in spite of our strong wish to remain awake , we do not know how to m aintain the wak i n g stat e , and we are force d time and t ime again to w atch h elplessly as the sensitiz e d p e rceptio n s and sen sations close d ow n , and the machine fall s b ack on ce again under t h e cloak of darkness . We speak of the sleeping and waking states in terms of perceptio n s and s e n s ations because it is a machine-state . B ecause it is a machine state and the machine h a s two defi n ite and distinct experiences which are measurab l e by its senses and sen s ations , the d ifference between the two stat e s of waking and sleeping are very clear. I n one state we really see, hear. feel , taste , touch , know , rem e mb e r .

All

our

senses

and

mental

and

e motional

functionings are clarified and magnified, thou s a n d s of time s . In t h e

sleeping

state ,

w e live

in

dark n e s s ,

w e fee l

disconn e cted , harsh , angular , trapped a n d i s o l ate d ; we live and breat he in darkness . This is a good b e g in n i n g definition of sleep in relation t o waki n g . W e can gather direct evide nce of the sleeping s t ate while in the sleeping state, because we know t h at our p r esent state is nothing like w h at we remember of the glimpses we h ad of what it was to really b e alive i n the machine . Of course , as w e remember th at w e a r e presently in t h e s l e e p i n g s t ate , the m achine will inevit ab ly begin to awaken , t h u s interfering momentarily with our dire ct ob serv ation of its s l e e p . In our l ittle g l i m p s e s o f the awakened state , b ecau se t h ey are only glimpse s , and t herefore moment ary an d incomplete , we should remember t h at our e xperiences of t h e s e states are imperfect .

Stu dy of the Machine

45

Secondl y , we shoul d realize th at, b e ca u se the machine was not ful l y awake d u ring these glimpses of awaken in g , t h e m a c h i n e still e xert e d its will , and b e cau se t h e m achine was n ot fully awake , and vestigial traces of the sleeping state r e m ained somewhat active to a g re ater or l e s ser degre e , w e i n e v it ab l y experienced some discomfort w h i c h woul d n o t b e p art o f a complete w ak i n g stat e . Thi s i n itial discomfort during t h e process of e nterin g t h e w ak i n g state from the sleeping state is t h e principal r e ason w e fall back i n t o t h e sleeping state . In o u r first glimpses of the awaken e d s tate , because w e w e r e i d entified w ith t h e s l e e p of the mach i n e , w e m u s t have felt some apprehension , a feeling of impending doo m , of being o n t h e top of a roller coaster that was about to let go , or of h aving b e e n pulled b ac k o n a slingshot, j u st at the point o f h u rtling through a corridor toward s o m e unknown destinatio n . W e d i d n ' t know what was goin g to h appen if we allowed ourselves to go all the way, but we

can

understand this

experie n c e ; w e can know exactly what will happen i f w e allow ourselves to b e carried all the way through t h e e xperience, thro u gh w h at the ancients called the Cave . We c a n make an almost exact analogy to the p roc e s s of entering t h e waking state from the sleeping state with t h e examin ation of a similar situation. A l most all of us h ave had the e xperience of waking i n the middle of the night and finding that one of our arms h a s gone to sleep . As t h e blood b egan to p u mp back into the l i m p , d e ad and useless arm , we may have had the defmite impre s s ion that w e w e r e a b o u t t o h a v e a h e art attack and die . Th i s i s a very important experience becau s e it produces e x actly the same s e n s ation as does the awakening m achine . In t h e sleeping stat e , the whole machine , in c l u d in g its emotional and mental apparatus e s , perceptio n s , senses and sens ations , are completely numb . We can b arely se e , we can b arely hear, we c a n b arely sens e ; in a sleeping machine, although our activities may deceive u s , w e live l ife at the absolute m in i mu m .

46

The Human Biological Machine as a TransJormationalApparatus

As we begin to massage the machine awake, the tingling sen sation becomes too much to bear, so we return to the same state as before and it becomes blissfully n u mb again . This is a nearly perfect analogy of what happens to u s in the awakening proces s . We may not have the courage to contin ue the p rocess of awakening past the point of discomfort . Certain alarming sensations w ill definitely occur a s the machine b egins to awaken : tingling, falling, vertigo, dropping, collapsing, exploding, expanding inside a skin that is stretched too tight, pins and needles , flamin g, curling , shortening and lengthening, agitation , weakness , confusion, coldness , sweating , vertigo, restles sness. We may recognize these symptoms as the same symptoms which sign al the death of the machine and , in a way, the waking state is very much like the death of the machine, because in the waking state , the machine has lost face , in the sense that it no longer has the force to impose its own will upon the situation, and even more importantly , its negative emotions, which provide it with a sense of contin uity , have inexplicably vanished . When the machine first comes to life , we may find the experience too excruciating, too emotionally , mentally and physically painful, too exhausting , and we may decide to allow the machine to fall back into sleep. Eventually if the machine remains in the sleeping state , gangrene will set in and the machine will die . This is the chief cause of ordinary death . If the machine were awake, it would also eventually die, but not in the same way . The machine is so near death when it i s asleep, that when death comes, we will hardly notice it, and it won ' t be so bad . But when death comes to a living machine, the diffe rence is so much greater that we will in fact , be acutely aware of its passing . Because we are alive , life is more precious to us and death will be that much more poignant . We can consider this as a warning. Perhaps it is better to remain in the near-death state of sleep.

Study of t h e Machin e

47

W e will try to recall the exact sensation-or l a c k of it­ when we woke up in the middle of the nigh t , to discover that one of the arms had fall e n asleep . The arm is completely limp , totally limber . It h a s absolutely no motio n , no s e nsation ; w e m a y s e e it as something which i s literally d e a d , some strange object dangling from the s houlder. O ur first thoug h t in that situation must have been that it may never com e b ack to l ife . We want to recall the full mental, emotional a n d sensing m emory of that l imp , l imber d e ad arm and realize t h at our whole machine i s now i n the equivalent condition in relation to its possible awakened state . W he n we awaken the machine, it will not be n e ar d e ath but other m achines will be near d e ath , limp, l i mb e r , closed , running automatical l y i n darknes s and this i n itself will also b e terrifying . Perhaps we h av e h a d a glimpse of people as a utomaton s , empty p u ppets , running o n mechanically, s o near d eath as t o be all-but- dead . . . What keeps the machine i n sleep i s our fear of th e discomfort o f awakenin g . This is the real mean i n g of inertia. B ut wh at is it that keeps u s-the e s s e ntial self, which is not the m achi n e-immersed i n the sleep of the machine ? Remember what it was l ik e to run for a very long time. Most of us have done this . At a certain point we m u s t h ave gotten the defi n it e impression that if we cont i n u e d run n i n g , t h e machi n e would d i e , and if we stop p e d run ning , we would descend into a peculiar kind of hell in which w e would spend the next th irty

minutes

gasping for breath

an d

m aking

ourselves p ace b ack a n d forth so the h e art could recover its normal balance . At this point we m ade one of two possibl e decisions­ either w e cont i n u e d past this stag e , at our definite ris k , o r returned to the sedentary stat e . W e k n e w t h at if we persiste d , there was a d i stinct possibility that the machi n e might h av e dropped dead . Perhaps w e were right not to p u s h th e mach i n e t o o far . However, if we h a d the courage or stu p i d ity to p u sh on furt h e r , it seemed to u s as if w e had broken through an

48

Th e Human Biological Machine as a TransformationalApparatus

invisible b arrier to a new, higher dimension ; we may actually have felt that we could circle the entire globe with hun dred­ mile leaps and bounds. This parable is only offered as an example ; long-distance running is not recommen ded, and is definitely not representa­ tional of the state of the awakened machine. It is just a way of comparing two definitely distinct states of the machine . Actually, if we compare the s econd wind of running state with the state we experienced in glimpses of real awakening , we will see very quickly that the state of physical exhilaration places the machine even further in sleep . Th e states between sleep and waking are not at all calm . Some of them are quite painful and we must learn to endure certain typ es of pain without inflicting it upon ourselves or being stupid about it . We must learn to endure the severe sen sations of the awakening machin e , knowing that it leads to the eventual cessation of p ain . W e must not allow our foolish mental apparatuses to develop the idea that this indicates that we are expected to pull out our toenails, d isfigure ourselves , or slice the arm with a razor blade, or any other foolish or bizarre practice. We mu st understand the differentiation between tolerating pain which occurs in the course of events and deliberately inflicting pain upon oneself unnecessarily and foolishly . There h ave arisen a number of methods which utilize exhaustion , physical , mental and emotio n al , as a means of carrying the mach ine across the threshold from the sleeping state to the waking state . It is true that the machine can be forced into awaken ing by the use of certain very strenuous exercises , b ut these methods are only for the use of people who are desperately in a hurry because of serious illness or because of pending death , who have no time to use gentler and more perm anent awakening methods . Every real school has a variety of methods , some very cath artic , some very gentle , running the entire range intended for different pupils with different needs . The cathartic methods are reserved only for those in dire, desperate need,

49

Study of the M aehme

because under ordinary condition s they are u n n ec e s s arily dangerou s and life -threatening. Some of the c athartic m e thod s represent very real t hreats to mental health , to emotional stability . V e ry rapid methods of awake n i ng the m achine do exist, b u t their percentage o f casualties

and failures i s very high .

B etween the casualties and t h e failu re s , the chance of success in t h e s e methods i s far too small. A very popular schoo l existing today i s fou n d e d o n th e princi p l e s of j u s t s u c h a cathartic method . Its foun d er m u st have atten d e d a school for a s ho rt time a n d acci d e ntally d iscovered or overheard one method for

awake n i n g the

mac h i n e u s u ally reserved for cases of d ir e emergency . He evidently thought t h at o n e single techn i qu e would m ake a m arvelou s method,

so h e quickl y l eft the work

com m u n ity and fou n de d his own communit y , where h e applied this technique , which h e called the fast path , to everyone who came , obviously thinking t h at it would be j u st wonderful fo r everyon e to wake up their mach i n e s really in a h urry b y next S aturday at the very l atest . He

did

not u nderstand

that

catha rtic

techniques

are

reserved as a tool only for the desperate, for thos e who h ave a very short t i m e remaining to t h e m in the machine , a n d who are forced to work quickly in a desperate race agai ns t t i m e . Ordin arily our s y s t e m i s noncathartic and extremely m i l d , developing t h e will of t h e e ssential s elf gently , and awakening the machine slowly , so t h at it does not g o too far o u t of balance . At t h e same t im e , b e cau se we u se a noncatharti c meth o d , w e c a n b egin to study t h e Work w hile t h e m ac h i n e i s i n a waking state . It is only in the w akin g state that t h e Work can b e studied . We will discuss this in d etail at a l at e r time . In a d d ition to its two objective states of waking a n d sleeping , the machine also has a variety of s Ubjective state s . A s w e g ather evidence to convince ourselves once and for all to o u r own s atisfaction th at the m achine is a s l e e p , some of our evidence will be fou n d by the observation of the machi n e ' s sUbj ective s t at es .

50

The Human Biological Machine as a TransformationalApparatus

When th e machine is awake it does not and cannot have sUbjective states because all the machinery for sUbjective states is gone. In our glimpses of the awakened state , we may have noticed the absence of sUbjective state s . O f course, because the machine was not completely awake, some vestigial traces of the machine ' s ordinary states would have remained, but unless we give them force they cannot produce an imbalance which would send us down into the sleeping state once again . In our early experiments with the waking state, we w ill undoubtedly notice the presence of phantom thoughts , ph antom beliefs , and phantom attitudes, but we should easily recognize them as p hantom, nonreal . . . something generated by the intellectual or emotional functions of the mental centrum , a leftover from the sleeping state . If these did happen to have noticeable force, then we would have been driven by them, by what is called in some traditions , the wind of karma. These phantom reverberations of organic h ab its of the m achine may tend to remain with us for quite some time , long after we have extricated ourselve s from the machine, and if we do not deal with them now by repeated awakenings , they will tend to persist long after the end of our organic sojourn in the life of the machine. The first objective aim is to gather evidence of the machine ' s sleep . We can do this now , as we are , even in sleep . As a matter of fact , if we think about it, it is only in sleep that we can gather evidence of the machine ' s sleep . This is an accomplish able aim . All we need for the gathering of evidence of the machin e ' s sleep is a minimum of attention ; we don ' t even need the help of any supernatural agency like the mysterious ' soul ' or some other ethereal observer . A l l we really need is sufficient ordin ary attention o f th e mental apparatus to gather enough good evidence to satisfy ourselves that we do in fact live in a human biological machine and that in relation to anoth er, much higher state , it is asleep . As we first begin, because we turn our attention on the mach in e , naturally we won ' t find the machine sleeping. It will

51

Study of the Machine

awaken p artially because it is under the awaken i n g spotlight of attention . Unfort u n ately , this i s one of the big gest p rob l e m s a b o u t t h e observation of the machine. W h e n we observe the machine it awakens s l ightl y , enough so t h at we c annot real l y s ay that it is asleep . D i rect observation

of the

m achine

has

changing the thing t h at is b eing observed .

the

effect

of

It is a b road

application of t h e Heisenberg Principle . If we cannot g ather evidence of t h e machine ' s sleep b y direct observation o f i t s slee p , w e can gather a different k i n d o f evidence b y comparing i t s present state t o t h e state in w h i c h we rememb e r the machine was at least p arti ally awak e , a n d we can s a y that it i s n o t th at way . We g ather t h i s direct evidence by contrasting o u r p r e s e n t experience of perceptio n s , s e n se s , sensations a n d knowle d g e against t h e b ackground

of thos e

expanded

p erceptions ,

sh arpened and magnified sense s , t ingling s e n s ations of real , living t i s s u e , a n d v ast all- e ncompassing knowledge which w e remember vividly from t h e partially awakened stat e . E v e n if we h a v e never experienced a s i ngle glimp se of t h e awaken e d s t ate , we need not p roceed j u st on faith alone ; e v e n without

a

d i r e c t e x perience of t h e awakened stat e , w e can

com p ile more th an sufficient indirect evidence of sleep to con vince any j udge and j ury t h at the machi n e is asleep beyo n d a s h a dow o f a doubt . Indirect evidence is comprised of two type s of eviden c e , the first of which we will call ' circu mstantial evidence' . We s ud d e nl y fi nd ourselves slightly awake , h aving popped out of o u r total sleep for t h e moment . B ec au s e we are no longer entirely i mmersed in s l e e p , we cannot observe the sleep of t h e machi n e directly . We know t h at what a sleeping machine doe s when it i s asleep c a n only b e compiled after t h e fact. W e m a y b e sta rtl e d awake , only to realize t h a t t h e m achine h as e x e rted i t s will over the s i t u atio n . We may s e e a variety of additional symptom s of s l ee p . Sleep presents i n many different ways . In sleep , t h e machine exert s its own will and we have no voice i n its b ehavior;

our

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

52

higher aims are lost in the organic storms of the m achine as it follows one organ i c d i straction and attraction after anot h er . W e are carried along helplessly b y the

mach ine

in

its

mechanical p u r s u i t s . A n o t h e r s y m p t o m of t h e s l e e p of t h e machine i s that we find ourselves for some inexplicab l e reason actually following what we know to b e trivial aims. We fin d ourselves protecting property, trying to e n h ance our

personal

behavior

and

appearance .

To

our

utt e r

amazement we fin d ourselves really caring about the k i n d o f c a r we d r i v e or t h e quality of manufacture of our Italian s h o e s and fou rtee n - k arat g o l d chains , or whether o r n ot we l o o k g o o d in s u n g l a s se s . We s u d d e n l y d i s cover that w e care what people thin k abo u t us and w e really are concerned about which politician g e t s i n to office . We find o u rselves immersed in the e x c itement of a Tu pperware pl astic food- storage container sales party, and i n a fre n zy o v e r e x actly wh ich Tupperware s e t we s houl d b u y . A n d i f not T u ppe rware , t h e n t h e new m iracle Cambri d g e weight-loss diet powder or t h e new French Moulinex food ­ processo r . I f we happen t o obs e rv e the machi n e d u ri n g t h e e ve n t , the machine will awaken slightly , and no longer exert its w il l . It will behave q u ite d ifferently . We must n ot try to stop the machine fro m its activities i n sleep before we have gathered al l the evidence we n e e d that the mach i ne is asleep . In t h e b eginning we must not exert a n y effort to awaken the mach ine . W e m u st be quite cle a r on this fact . B u t we can look b ack on th e machin e ' s behavior and activities over the past several m inute s , hou r s or d ay s , and note t h e

p atterns

of b eh avior,

fixations ,

moods ,

states ,

subj ective state s , p u rs u its of the m ach i n e , interests of the mach ine , a n d the exertion of the will of the machine over the sit u ation . This should give u s more than s ufficien t circumstantial evidence that , although the machine i s not completely asleep ju st now , it definitely was asleep until w e h appened to snap out of it j u st enough to b e able to make our observation .

Study of the Machine

53

This type of evidence i s i ndirect because w e b ecame awa r e o f the sleeping s tate o n ly after the fact ; we l o o k b a ck at t h e previous state of t h e m achine . Even though vestige s of th e sleeping state remai n , we can never truly obs erve the m ach i n e in

sleep ,

because

all observation

a wakens

the

machin e

slightly .

The be st evidence of the machin e ' s s l e e p will not b e gathered b y ourselve s ; it will b e g athered b y others w h o m ak e their o b servations o f o u r machine while i t i s in sleep . W e wil l cal1 this ' hearsay evidence ' . We c a n u s e this type of ob s e r v ation from the p latform of a n outside o b server to g ather v e r y exact data a b o u t the sleep o f o u r machi ne , insofar as it is observ ab l e from outsid e . W e will g athe r evidence o f the m ach ine ' s sleep for th irty days exactl y , keeping precise records in special notebooks l abeled ' Exhibit

A',

to mean direct evidence , ' Exhibit B ' , to

indicate c ircum s tantial evidence and ' Exhib it C ' to denote h e arsay evidence , using as m any notebooks a s neces sary over the observ ation period .

AI1

evidence

must

be

clearly

indicated

as

direct,

circumstantial, and hearsay.

B ecau se our machines are asleep , we cannot t ru st t h e m to help u s remember to make these observatio n s every day without fai l ,

so we are forced to rely

upon

an

age-old

salesman ' s trick ; we will set a time limit for ourselves . We m u st agree to m ake the s e ob servatio n s for a ful l th irty day s ,

but

n o more . This is a once in a lifetime effort . If we are

to g ather the force for observ ation in s ufficien t potency, we must agree that no matter what h ap pens , afte r the t h i rty d ay observation period , we will n ever a g ain m ake t h i s effort . If we recall the l ast glimpse of the

awakening of the

machine th at we had , we may realize to our shock that it was n ' t a l l th at recent , and it is because these momentary glimpses are so far apart that we are abl e to g ather s o much evidence so q uickly that the machine is asleep most of th e time , and even whe n it i s n ' t , it might as well b e , because it clings to the vestiges of the sleeping state even during th e waking state .

CHAPTER 10 The Machine

as an

Electrical Field The human hiological

machine

is

a

powerful dominant

electrical field which can-If Its transformational functions are activated by the waking state, act electrically essential

self

• • •

another,

less powerful

but

upon

more

the

subtle

electrical field which forms the true self. Hundreds of y e ars ago , before the time of Luigi Galvani , a p rofe s sor of a n atomy at Bologna Universit y in Italy , very little was known about the h u m an b iological machine , and it w as a long

time

before

anyone

thought

to

apply

Galvani ' s

experiments with muscular electricity to the idea that a h uman being is an e lectrical field within a l arger electrical field which we call b iological l ife . Galvani h ad b e e n dissecting some frog s . H e h appened t o touch t h e disconnected l e g o f o n e frog with t w o different metal s , p roducing a s l ight electrical current in the leg . He was astounded to see the leg twitch and contract in muscular spasm s , in spite of the fact that the leg h ad been ent i rely severed from the frog' s body .

E .J. Gold,

The Machine as an Electrical Field,

3-15-9 1 , Pastel on Senn elier, l O " x 1 3 " .

The Machine as an

55

Galvani became convinced that electricity was the driving force behind the motor functions and nervous system and brain of the body; that ani mal electricity was the l ife-force itself. This idea was popularized by M ary Wollstonecraft Shelley in her romantic novel . Frankenstein . discoveries by science that Here is the the human m achine for , and directed b y , filled with latent electricity , and electrical energy , charge any n erve , contraction . setting its different way, if we only We can use know the e xact mental and emotional keys to activate in order to produce the reflex reaction we w ant from the m ach in e . Now scientists all over the world are b eginning t o prove that what ancient school s taught , that the human b e ing is essentially an electrical field, is l iterally t ru e . School s h ave long taught that t h e h u m an being under ordin ary condit io n s , h ab its of l ife, is only force , but th at t h e partially able to human biological tran sformed into a powerful l iving enormous unit s o f electric al force , life-force i n every nerve and muscle Th is living e le ctrical has b een verified b y science, is only a small part o f t h e evolutionary process , yet this secret , drawn from ancient teachings wh ich h ave remained hidden for tens of centuries from the mainstream of human l ife , can be used to b uild up the human biological machine ' s storage of v ital energy . Eventually we inevitably discover t h at true mastery of the self is m astery which the self i s compose d . N o t o nly are unable to function as a living electrical on dead batteri e s , because their dissipated by nervous fidgeting , agitation , ragged breathing ,

56

The Human Biological Machine as a Trans!ormationaJApparatus

melancholy , deep irritab ility, emotional u ph e aval s and other des tructive h ab its of the m achine . Electric ity is stored in the nerve centers and b rain masses , but it is easily possible to increase the potential of thes e energies s imply b y eliminating th ese bad hab its a n d then awakening the machine . The m achine ' s fu nction as a mach ine is b oth electrical and chemical .

For

instanc e ,

when

the

machine

is

startle d ,

fri ghten e d o r upset, adrenalin i s automat ically released, and immed iatel y

we

sense

d efinite

chemical

and

e lectrical

change s . One such change i s that t h e skin sweat s , adding s altwater to the s u rfac e , which reduces the resistance of the ski n , as anyone who has a background in b as ic physics knows . A current passes more quickly through s altwater and the presence of a saltwater solution on the skin m akes it a b etter conductor . The moving centrum

in

the tail brain d irects a signal to

those m u scles in the p articular part of the body it wi s h e s to mov e , an d those m u scles contract to t h e degree corresp onding to the el ectrical force which enters th e muscle. W e c an test this pure galvanic response b y app lying an electrical

current

accord ingly

to

un dergo

a

dead

m u scle .

contraction

an d

The

muscle

relaxation

with

will the

appl ication a n d removal of the electrical current . Much of our ordinary muscle ten sion is the re s ult of an overab u n dance of electrical force in the muscl e . The ti s sue becomes tense as electrical resistance bu ilds up . The m u scle b u ilds a charge and is un abl e to release it. We say th at electrical force h as packed up in the m u s cl e . A t some point this electrical force woul d b uild u p and then be releas e d s p as modical l y . The muscle act s as a c ap acitor under m icrovoltage and m icroamperage . Think of the h u m an b iological machine as a tran sforma­ tion al apparatus wh ich , becaus e it i s a powerful do minant electrical fiel d , can-if it is properly activated , b y w h ich we mean awake-act el ectrically upon the essential s elf, wh ich is anothe r , less powerful but more subtle electrical fiel d .

57

The Machine as an Electrical Field

Under the influence of t h e awake ne d h u man b iological mach i n e ,

the

e s s e ntial

self

will

u n dergo

a

serie s

of

transformation s which are electrical in n ature . Very minute electrical changes occur in the m achi n e in m icrovolts and microamperes of current .

Almost all this

electrical activity i s in the four to twenty- e ight Hertz , or cycles­ per-second fre qu ency spect ru m . S o m e electrical fields a re very d estructive t o t h e subtle electrical a ctivity of t h e machin e , and we must take this into account if we expect it to operate as a transformational apparatu s . The whole

planet i s permeated with e l e ctro- magn etic

waves generated b y variou s electrical trans m i s sion d evices , for

examp l e ,

the

normal

commercial

electrical

current

alternating at s i xt y cycle s per seco n d . T h e s e currents pass through the atmosphere

and

are

destructive to tran sform ational efforts . Our w ork must take into account the effect of a variety of transmitted fre quen cies ran g i n g from stan dard waves to microwav e s com in g from a variety

of

a ppliances ,

electrical power

sources lines ,

s uch

as

automobile s ,

r ad io s ,

electrical

telephone

lines ;

anywhere we h ave a flow of e lectricity, we also have its corresponding e le ctro-magnetic w ave , and both the m achine and the e s s ential self are affe cted b y this , p articu larly b y wires which carry electrical energ y . The flow

of electricity

in

a w ire creates a r e l atively

tremendous e lectrical fiel d along its axi s , s etting u p a n ew pattern in t h e field surroundin g it such as appears on a computer disc when p l acing a p aper clip upon it , producing an electrical anomal y , a local variation in the fi e l d caused by the appearance of a n e w , smaller electrical field w it h in the b o dy of the l arger e lectrical fiel d . A radio station operating in t h e Russian city o f Minsk send s radio waves through the atmosphere , w h ich re ach us not only

through

electrical

c h anges

in the

atmo s p here ,

b ut

through the e arth itself, by makin g slight alterations in t h e m agnetic structure o f the e arth .

58

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

Although we cannot register the reception of these atmospheric electrical anomalies in the form of radio signals amplified in our bodies , nevertheles s the combined effect of all transmitted electrical signals , echos, skips and bounces which are only some of the atmospheric phenomena of radio waves passing through us at any given moment causes an unending series of profound topological distortions in the body ' s local electrical field . Radio wave s , x-rays, ultraviolet radiation , high -frequency transmissions and very low frequency transmissions such as those used between submarines and their home bases, and many other artificial radiations produced by human ingenuity , radical ly alter the whole electrical field of force of the Earth from moment to moment, twenty-four hours a day . Th e earth is a giant magnet and wherever we fmd a magnet, we also find electricity. Wherever we find gravity, we find electricity and magnetism. Microchanges in the body can alter not j ust the body ' s health , b ut its higher fu nction a s a transform ational apparatus .

E.J. Gold, The Repair of the Mach ine, 2-3-91 , Paste l on Senne l ier, l O" x 1 3 " .

CHAPTER 1 1 The Repair of the Machine Because life experiences-mnemonically stored in the muscles of the body-have distorted the electrical 6.eld of the machine , repair of these anomalies in the general electrical field are necessary in order for the machine to function effectively

as

a

transformational apparatus. The machine stores all its memory electromagneticall y , and releases it according to elect r och em icall y transmitted in structio n s . The

entire

headbrain corr e s ponds

to

the

i n formation

handling p art of a computer, called the proc e s so r , and the data- storage units are represente d by the m uscle s ; the buss lines which strap acros s the whole syste m ,

p roviding

a

common referent-base to which the oppositely charged voltage variatio n s repres e nting information encapsulat e d within an electrical carrier wave of raw electrical voltage refer, is represented b y the central nervous syst e m ; and th e dat a ­ retrieval mechanism i s represented by the autonomic n e rvou s

The Human Biological Machine as a Transfonnational Apparatus

60

system

and th e basebrain which calls up inform ation by

sti mulation of precise portions of the myo neu ral netw ork . Take a moment to realize the implications of this . It means that the entire experiential history of the machi n e i s stored in the s m aller ele ctrical fields of th e muscle s . Each n e w exp erience tends t o overlay and refer t o all previo u s

similar experiences or experien c e s

wh ich

seem

similar whether they are or not . The storag e mechani s m is incap ab l e of determining the actu al reliability of its estimation of simil arity , and often the seeming simil arity is completely fal s e . Experiences which s e e m t o b e the same t e n d t o be stored in the same me mory sector , although they may not necessaril y be related to t h e same event and th e sim ilarity may not be evident when examined closely . Similarities m ay b e based upon one element within the experience, and the element m ay not be actually significant . For exam p l e , events may seem similar to the storage mechanism because they contain an obj e ct which is co mmon to each ,

or

a

color ,

odor

or emotion

which

p roduces

the

apparency of similarit y . Event u al l y , because the se experiences a r e stored electri ­ cally in t h e muscle s , the machine becomes bent with age j ust from the sheer weight of life -experience. Impre s s ion s , or memory -event s-event s in th e sense of their meaning in physics, math e m atics and chemistry-are directed by the machine to various storage elements in the muscles , not necessarily as they occur, and definitely not with any ordered logic . Th ey accumu late in the m uscle system accordin g to

the

machine ' s own

internal

reasoning

and

cu stomary h ab it . The muscles are operated b y wh at i s called myo-electrical cu rrent, cond ucted by the neural network which run s through th e m u s cl e s . With repeated aggravation, t h e muscles t e n d to remain · more or less permanently constricted , which radically distorts the shape and function of the muscles , in turn d istorting the el ectrical field of the machine as a whol e .

The Repair of the Machine

61

Store d i nformation distorts the muscles be cause the muscles store information as an electrical field whose shape represents the information. This shaped electrical field can be expressed as a geometric and algebraic mathematical function which reflects the exact informational content of the muscle. The muscles are shot through with very s m al l lowbehave more or resistance electrical less l ike electrical they develop themselves which electromagnetic reflect their function altered by, and tlel d s with in their reciprocally alter , sphere of influence , In this sense, the shape of an electrical storage apparatus can be said to determine its function, and the function in tum reciprocally determines the form of the electrical field as the storage apparatus accommodates itself to its contents and function s . Autom atically a s an experience is recorded in the m uscles , the local el ectrical field is correspondingly altered . Repeated intentional stimulation resti m u l ation of the brain and the over a p e riod of alter the s m aller and m uscles, machine as a which can h ave performs exactly functional transformational as we intend it to . We will discuss the intentional re stimulation of the neu ral network in a later talk. It is the neural network w h ich control s , d i rects and monitors the machine in its s eparate function s . and the thalamus blends this i nformation into a b al anced whol e ; then transmitting its analysis to the reasoning centrums , which m ay respond with further instructions . Unfortunately, Extremely localized curr ent may or m ay not pass into but when they do, this also affects the the m achine. d ata-processor, the muscles are the actual and, because they

64

The Human Biological Machine as a TransJormationalApparatus

For a complete u nderstanding, we would need a b ackground in Reimannian space theory , Wavicle Theory, theory of local gravitational effect s , the low-energy plasma theory , the General and Special field theories-within which we will find the Law of Relativity in a very different form from its popularization-the gravitational attraction of n ucleic functions and non-charged particles, functions of prob ab ility , in determinancy, quark-quark relationships, vector analysis , energy transfer, non-Euclidian geometric functions, topolo­ gical fu nctions of complex-connected volumes , b e at-frequency oscillation, electrom agnetic relationships to the light and sound spectrum, and other brain-boggling mathe matical concepts which relate to the impingement of two slightly dissimilar electrical fields . B u t all this i s unnecessary . We need only enough information to understand the basic mechanics of the repair of the machine as a transformational apparatus, not the repair of the machine as a machine regarding its physical , emotional and mental functions . Even without a theoretical understanding, we woul d , with a little stu dy, be able to see what needs repair . The galvanic skin response meter will definitely tell us whether or not there is an electro-magnetic anomaly-an evoked reaction which indicates an electrical resistance, an imp action-upon the general electrical field. We will notice micro-changes in the electrical field of the machine . The needle will move up and down the ohmic spectrum , from five hundred to one million ohms , within which the meter can measure even the smallest ob struction . We can determine whether an electrical blockage was eliminated completely and permanently by the response indicated on the meter . We can intentionally repeatedly stimulate-according to an exact sequential plan-definite portions of the brain and nervou s system, thus eliminating local distortions in the electrical field which are , when they are active, measurable as electrical anomalies, h aving definite and tangible electrical effects and phenomena.

The Repair oft h e Machine

65

If t h e m uscles are i m pacted w it h electrical b arriers which are activat e d b y the mach i ne ' s defe n s e m echani s m agai n s t the waking st ate , t h e n we should s e e a l arge r res p o n s e of th e meter. Wh e n we h a v e elimin ated the d i stortions i n the field , we will h ave

disarmed the d efense mechanism a n d

the

machine will naturally remain i n the w ak in g state u n l e s s we intentionally p roduce t h e s leeping state for t h e p u rpose of rest and con s e rvation of work-energie s . Th e content o f memory itself i s not important ; we a r e only interested i n t h e d i stortion it pro d u c e s upon the electrical fi e l d of the e s sential self. W e do n o t know w h e r e m e mory i s stored , nor d o w e really care , because with the meter w e are able to locat e and gain access to any p art of memory , not b y its content and significanc e , but b y its electrical i m p act , its distort i n g effect as an interference , a b lo ckage , in t h e general electric a l field of the machine. Random m emory storage implies random m e mory a cces­ sibility .

If we know how to t hrow e lectrical anomalies­

displacement s-into high relief again st t h e general

b ack­

groun d of the whole electrical field , we know all we actually need to k n ow to repair the machine a s a transfo r m ational apparat u s a n d disarm t h e m ach i ne ' s

defe n s e mechanism

again s t the waking state . B ut we do not h ave t i m e to analyze every little d et a il of the functioni ng of the mach i n e . A complete analy s i s woul d b e too time-co n s um i n g and far too compl e x . A n d the fact i s that this i s unneces sary . It i s quicker and more efficient to re p air everything in the machin e ' s functioning as a transformational apparat u s , whether it needs it or not. In o u r rep ai r work , we stimul ate the brain a n d nervous system i n very specific way s , until the anomal y , the d i s p l aced ch arge o r blockag e , disappears . Becau s e this el e ctrical e nergy which h ad b e e n stored in the muscles a s res i s tors i s now avai l abl e to t h e machine at l arge, the

n e u ral

n etwork

enl arges ,

becomes

more

active

and

activat e s more ful l y as t h e electrical potential i n c re a s e s . At t h e s am e t i m e , b l o ckages i n the n e u ro - m u scular system also dis a p p e a r , allowing t h e whole neural network to flow

66

The HUl1Uln Biological Machine as a TransformationalApparatuli

more free l y .

The

entire body becomes

a

more

effective

electrical field which has an exact effect on th e electrical field which we call the essential self. Electri c ity in the body , which h ad formed into eddies and disturbances because of the distortion factors stored in th e muscles and nervous syste m , is fre e to flow as it did d uring early

ch ildhoo d ,

before

condition ing

and

inhibitors

were

imposed by life-experiences an d s uggestion by mimicry of othe rs , and the original shape and condition of the electrical field of the mach i n e is re store d in general . The electro-magnetic anomalies do not recur once they have been eliminate d . Information and memory are not lost. Actually,

they are enh anced because they become more

acce ssible now that we h ave

eliminated t h e painful

and

unwanted electrical field distortion which surrounded the m .

E.]. Gold, The Essential Self as an Electrical Field, 4-22-9 1 , Pastel on Sennelier, 1O"x13".

The Human Biological Machine as a TransJormationalApparatus

68

dominant e l e ctrical activity of the mach i ne . We will d i s c u s s m o r e a b o u t t h i s l ater, i n relation to t h e m achine ' s t e n d e n c y to impose its o w n w i l l when i n the sleeping st ate a n d its total l ac k of w i l l i n t h e w a k i n g stat e , during which the relatively w eak will of t h e e s s e nt i al s e lf b e comes active i n t h e sense that it is n o longer buried under t h e dominating force of t h e mac h i ne ' s will . Our abi l ity to s u rvive in the fou rt h dimension w i l l b e determined b y o u r familiarity w ith i t .

In a zero g ravity­

simulator, w e woul d e x perience the con d itions of orb ital or deep space flight . In the waking state , we will effectively reprodu c e t h e experience o f the h igher dimensio n s ; we w i l l l e arn w h at w e n e e d to do to work a n d to s u rvive i n the higher dimensio n s . The e s s e ntial self is an e l ectrical fie l d a n d the machine generat e s an electrical fie l d which impinges on t h e esse ntial self' s electrical fiel d . Th e crystall ize d e l e ctrical field o f t h e being replac e s t h e m achine as a body of matter. The machine as m atte r i s replaced b y a steady- state electromagnetic image o f itself. Th e crystallized electric field becomes a refl ection of i t s own refl ection . If t h e

machine

is

functioning

as

a

tran sformational

apparat u s then the machin e as a n electrical field should eventually take t h e form of w h at the e s s e n t ial

s e lf will

somed ay become , at l east i n the electrical s e n s e . W h at can t h e e s s e ntial self l earn from t h e m ach i n e ? Nothing i n the intellect u al s e n s e , a n d w e m u st realize t h at learning i n t h e e le ctrical sense, which i s c al l e d " understand­ ing " i n o u r tradition , means somethin g q uite d ifferent from what is ordinarily understood by the word " learning " . Information i n the evolution ary s e n s e i s tran smitted b y impingement

o f one

electrical

fi e l d

upon

a noth e r .

The

'

electrical fie ld of the e s s e ntial self u ndergoes ch ange-which we call

" transformation " , by which w e mean the exact

changes necessary to free it from its electrical affinity for t h e h u m an b iological machine within which -it takes i t s current

The Essential Self as an ElectricalField

69

involu ntary residence-as a result of " l earn i n g " from t h e electrical field o f the mach i n e . Th at i s , it learns from t h e machine ' s electrical field if t h e m ach ine i s not in the sleeping state and the field i s n o t damaged o r distorted b y condition in g . I n add itio n , another factor i s necessary if t h e m achine i s t o function as a teacher to the essential self, impos in g i t s field fu n ct i o n s upon t h at of t h e essential self. Even t h ough the m achine w i s h e s , in a way , to fulfill its function a s a transformational apparat u s , in the s a m e w ay that all living organisms " wi s h " to fulfill their gen u i ne objective fun ctions ,

it

al so

has

develop e d

a

powerful

d efe n s e

mech a n i s m against the w a k i n g state . W e wi l l d iscus s this a t l e n gth v e ry s oo n ,

i n relation to the p ractical method for

bringing the machine into the wak i n g stat e . The greater t h e s im i l arity o f t h e electrical fi e l d of the m ach in e to th at of t h e e ssential self, the greater the possib ility for the principle of contagion to alter t h e electrical field of the essential self. Like affects like , and the n eventually , l ike becomes l i k e , indicating the exact method for t h e possib l e evolution of t h e essential self. Stroke a needle with a magnet . W h at h appens ? The n eedle becomes

s lightly

m ag n etize d .

Its

ele ctromagnetic

field

becomes s lightly aligned with t h at of the magn e t . Repeatedly stroke the electrical fi e l d of the e s se ntial self with the e lectrical fiel d of the machine a n d the e s se n t ial self become s al igned with the machine . We can use the awakened machine to get o u r o wn way, m ake o u r own rul e s , p u r s u e one form of trivia o r another, or we can exert our will toward the awake n i n g of the m achin e for our possible evolution . We m ay experience a situation in w hich t h e m ach ine ' s electrical b lockages are temporarily removed b y artificial means-drug s , hypnosis . or some sort of s h ock-and th e m achine fun ctions momentarily as it should, as a pure , vital , living e l e ctrical apparat u s .

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

70

In an e x perience in which the machi n e ' s e l e ctrical field is temporarily c l e ared artificially of its distortion s , we h av e all the voluntariness of a p a s s e nger o n a rol l e r-coaster . We are forced to w atch ourselves h elple s sly a s we are slammed aro u n d fro m one state to anoth e r , propelled through these experiences gent l y , but in e xorably . Accidental l y o r intentionally perceiving anothe r dimen ­ sion , crossing a b arrier to another dimen s i o n , we might notice the loss

of significance

and meaning-a lack o f logic a l

cohere n c e ; a n d y e t at the same time , w e might sudden l y experience t h e deep , l iving connectedne s s of everything­ being of subject and obj e ct as much as of oneself. Perceiving i n more than one dimension at a time i s very u n u s u al , it i s more u s u al to perceive in o n e d ime n sion a n d then to return t o another. Ordinary perception i s s i n gl e ­ d im e n sio n a l .

A normally functioning human b e i ng s h o u l d h ave t h e ability to perceive and function in several dim e nsional l e v e l s at the s a m e time . Perceiving in single dimensions produces the i l l usion of sep aration b ut if w e are able to fu nction as a multi-dimensional being , then we will view o urselves a n d our s u rro u n d i n g s a s miniat u r e

elect r ical

fie l d s ,

anomalies

wit h i n

one

giant

e lectric al fiel d , and eventual l y the e lectrical field of the essential self will stab i l iz e itself

in t h e transfo rmed s t ate .

E .}. Gold, Help, 4-22-91 , Pastel on Sennelier, l O"x13".

72

The Human Biological Machine a s a Transformational Apparatus

The will of the machine toward self-gratification and sleep is very different from the high ideals of the essential self, which has m arvelous plans . Periodic e motional storms constantly serve as reminders that the machine has a will of its own . The essential self, with its great ideal s , is unfortunately not the director of the machine and , u nder ordinary circum­ stance s , can n ever be the director of the machine or anything else incl uding itself. As it is, the essential self is a slave , not a master , and yet it was made to be master . Our biggest lie about ourselves , besides the absurd idea that man is not just another species of primate belonging to the animal kingdom on the Earth , is that the essential self is the director-the ab solute autocrat-of the machine, when we can clearly see from our daily experience that it has no will over the machine whatsoever. The machine exercises its destructive will, compl etely disregarding the intentions of the essential self. This conflict gives the illu sion of many different identities each acting on its own . Really , there are only two ; the intelligence which formulates the higher aims and aspirations , and the primitive brain , which is the real director of the machine, becau se its savage will is completely dominant . We are in the grip ofthe machine' s private insanity , forced to live as we would never live if we were able to actually exert our wil l upon the machine , to control and direct its activities every moment of the day . Yet we teIl ourselves t h e lie that t h e mental apparatus i s the director o f the machine. Originally , the meaning o f virtue was that the noble aims and aspirations of th e es sential self had reached down through the mental apparatus and rooted itself into the deepest part of the machine and that the aims and aspirations of the deepest darkest part of the m achine had in fact become the same as those of the essential self. In our beginning work, we first encounter the idea that we are expected to apply a method, some techniqu e unknown to u s in ordinary life , which can somehow help us to penetrate

Help

73

through to the deepest, darkest part of the mach ine and p l ant our ideals i n it . Our ideals become an incarnate real ity in fle sh and bloo d . At l ast, we are one with the m ac h i ne , in this sense at least . This is a very ancient idea expres s e d in the m aj o rity of Greek p h i l o s o p h y , which was expressed at that time not j u s t by g atherings to discuss i nteresting ideas , but schools of practical knowledge . We will find these same ideas in Plato ' s Symposium. an d i n the teachings of Pythagoras . Once w e h ave seriou sly stu d ied the m achine and clearly u n d erstood the real n ature of our situ ation , we will see t h at we have only three choice s . We can refu s e to acknowledge our total lack of will over the mach i n e , and pointedly ignore the inner e motional storm s and external u p h e aval s c a u s e d b y the mach ine agains t all our higher intentio n s . T h e second choice is t o lower o u r stand ards, to make i deal s for ours e l v e s w h ic h conform more to the a ctual

swinish

behavior of the machine . Th e third choic e i s the most difficult. W e can search for a meth o d , a p ractical mean s , by wh ich the machine is brought to a state which act u ally reflects the h ig h e st i d e als

of our

es sential self in the deepest fibers of its b e i n g . It i s not necessary to bring t h e mach ine to i t s k nees on every i s su e . It i s only necessary to aw aken the m ach i n e because only a s l e eping machine e xercise s its w i l l . An awak e n e d mach i n e cannot possess n egative force , and since negative force provides the force for the e x e rtion of its will , an awakened m achine has no will of its own . Without the force of its own will , the machine comes to a stan d st il l . When t h e m achine i s awake, even the subtle suggestions of the e ssential self, which h a s no weapon b u t attentio n , are sufficient to d i rect the machine. There i s n o way to fight the mach i n e directly , to m ake a direct attac k , and win . No method of training and d ri l l i ng the machine to conform to h igher aims and aspirations can remain i n force throughout the l ife of the mach i n e . At s ome point, all ordinary methods of training the m ac h in e to obedience w ill fai l .

74

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

We can h av e the b e s t intentions in t h e worl d , t h e best aesthetics , the most marvelous plans for ourselves , yet if t h e m ac h in e c o n t i n u e s to b e h ave monstro u s l y , all o u r plans will come to nothing, all our h ig h ideals will b e u s e less . We m u st accomplish two things . First, we m us t fi n d some way to d efine , delineate , clarify what are our exact i de al s . The n we must s e e t h at w e d o not h ave t h e will t o bring t h e e n t i r e m a c h i n e i nto action as a unified whol e . Whe n we form u l ate an aim , if the mach i n e h a s n o will o f its own , we are u n ifi e d , a true republic . Thi s in ner u nity of h igher aspiration s of t h e e s s ential s elf and the deepest most primitive p art of t h e machin e , is the real meaning of the ideal of Utop i a , the p erfect republ i c . I a m , b u t m o r e t h an this , I have become. In ancient t i m e s , the awake n e d m a c h i n e was referred to as th e " l iving father" because it was recognized that the machine i s the father of the sou l . When the machine and I reflect one a nothe r , t h e n the mach i n e , the fat h e r , and I are one , and t h e m achi n e is a reflection of my innermost being. When we m ake the o uter as t h e inner, the inner as t h e o u t e r , t h e n I and t h e father-the essent i al s e l f and the human biological machine-are one . I t m u st b e clearly understood that t h e Work c annot b e stu d i e d through a sleeping m achine ; t h e Work mean s not hing to a sleeping machine . A sleepin g machine c ares only for itself, its a i m s , its problems and its p u r s u it s . A sleeping machine i s hypnotized b y it s own SUbjective fixat i o n s and b eyond those fixation s there is no objective reality . It is d e af a n d blind to t h e Work and even to h igher ideal s , becaus e i t i s asleep . T h e Work cannot b e defined b ecau se i t i s l iv i n g , growi n g , and changing. The word " li v i n g " was once the same as t h e word " awake " . The e s s ential s elf has no w il l , except the w i l l - of-attentio n . It c a n p l ac e i t s attention on somet h i n g , i t c a n direct its attention . By b at h i n g the machine in its attention , it awakens the m ach i n e . Th e force of the attention of t h e e s sential s e l f is s low a n d

75

Help

subtl e , like t h e tortoise . The machine ' s attention i s l i k e t h e rab b it , r a p i d l y darting this w ay a n d t h at , distract e d by every little t h i n g , convinced of its own i n n ate superiority . Thi s i s t h e idea behind t h e ancient m y t h o f t h e tortoise an d the h are . The s ubtle force of attention is our only weapon agai n st sle e p . It i s a v e ry effective weapon if we are abl e to s ee t h at because

it

is

subtle

it

must

be

applied

u nremittingl y ,

unwaveringly , over a very long period of tim e . I f someone e l se u s e s t h e force o f attention t o wake up o u r m ach ine , t h e w i l l o f o u r own essential self w i l l n o t develop . A n awakened machine i s not e nough. W e also w ant t o d e velop the will of t h e e s sential self so that when t h e machine is awake, and its w i l l h a s vaporiz e d , we are able to exert o u r w il l toward our possible evolution . If we refu s e work, we refu se help . Work is help. If we want real hel p , and not our i m aginary ideas of what h e lp i s , we must accept it i n the form it com e s , not i n the form w e expect . Real help is not someone doing somethin g for u s , or a l e s s ening of our personal struggles . The sleeping m achine cannot recognize h el p . Hel p m ake s the e n e m y s q u i r m ; if the enemy does not s q u irm , then it

is not

real help . It i s i m p ortant to recognize the con s e quences of asking for real h e l p ; if we w ant c al m in g , we should a s k for c al mi n g . If we want real help we must ask for real help , and u n d erstand it when it i s giv e n . We may not like the res u l ts , but real res ults will m ake the m achine squirm-no p ai n , n o gai n . We m u s t develop a d efin ite courage t o a s k for help because we m ay actu ally get what we ask for .

Humility

is also

necessary ; w e m u s t b e able to recogniz e t h at we are not capable of helping ourselves . The n in additio n , we must h ave the stamina, t h e fortitud e , t o s u rvive the help . Purity and v i rt u e help us place ourselves in a situation in which h e l p can b e given . W h at v irt u e r e ally mean s is that the m i n d a n d t h e machine are one , in the sense t h at w h at the mind conceives , t h e machine achieves .

CHAPTER 14 Alchemy Alchemy is not a way of producing behavioral change In the machine; It is a way of notating change that occurs on a much deeper level. It Is not a cause , but an effect, a reflection of the inner evolution of the essential self. We

normally think that we h ave our whole

l ives

to

acco m p l i sh this wor k , but the fact is that our e nergy for transform ation will h ave dissipated itself by the time we are older . We must h av e completed the transformational p rocess before w e run out of the resilience and flexib ility required to com p l ete the alch emical process of transformatio n . Alchemy is a d iscipline in which a n ind i v idual u s e s the machine

to

refine

d ifferent

substances ,

combining

and

sep arating and processing them by vario u s mea n s , over a long period of time, through the use of slow h eat-by w h ic h is

E.J. Gold, Alchemy, 2-3- 9 1 , Pastel o n Sennelier, 1 O " x 1 3 " .

A lchemy

77

meant the application of inexorable and unwavering attention - producing a chemical and electrical mutation of the machine which is only a reflection of a much deeper internal m utation of the essential self. With ordinary methods , we can learn chemistry , a very simple subject , wherein we pour a chemical substance from measure our results one b eaker to another. because the process is I n the process of deal in g with the chemical factory human biological machine . In this case, we one beak er to another. To obtain exact result s , we must stimulate by very precise means definite sectors of the brain and nervous system , which in turn stimulate m u scle an d nervous system interaction s , releasing chemicals through the use of heat and electricity , causing sub stantive changes in the m achine. We are not d e aling with beakers and test tubes, b ut with very minute chemical changes which are governed b y the glandular system , brain If we know exactly how to stimulate system, it will system , and in turn stimu l ate the chemical change s . retardation was et coagula .

Becau s e we are stimulating the b rain and nervous system , and not just pouring from one b eaker to another, we are forced to use psychological and emot ional methods to sti mulate the brain and nervous syste m , which in turn will stimulate th e gl andular system i n a n exact way , producing t h e exact changes we wish to produce . Suppose t h at we know exactly what it i s we want to do . Suppose we know, in exact strategy for change . If we w ere ordinary stimulate cookbook or other thought s and emotions and retard chemical and

78

The Human Biological·Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

W e are s u pp osin g in this case that the d eeper i nternal transmutation is a product of the mach ine ' s change , but the fact i s that we do not wish to change the machine directly at all ; we w i s h to u s e changes in the machine as a roadmap, by which we c an follow a much deeper inner change. Alchemy i s not a way of producin g ch ange in the m achine ; it is a way of notating ch ange as it occu r s . If we were to fol low the in dication s of alche my, trying to artificially p roduce alchemical results directly in the mach in e , without t h e deeper i nternal change o f w hich t h e y a r e o n l y a reflectio n , we would not see real results ; j us t changing the temperature

of

the

thermometer

does

not

ch ange

the

temperature of the body . Re al alchemy is not a c au s e , but an effect , a refl e ction of a change i n the e s sential self. A n alchemical notebook is a traveler ' s record , a log book , a m ap , notating the ch ange which has been brought about in the mach ine by a deeper internal mutation . In this way , the h uman b iological machine can b e utilized both as a transformation al apparatus and as a biofee d back device indicatin g tran sforma­ tional chan ges as they occur by noting their effects upon the machine . A l l t h e apparent complexity of alch emy d i s appears when we realize t h at all of the alchemical notatio n s are result s , not causes , of real c hanges in the essential s e lf, which occur in a c u m u l ative sequence. So

the

alchemical

sequence

notated

in

alchemical

notebooks i s a roadmap of the evolution of the essent;al self. When an alchemical event occurs i n the machine , w.e can check it

against

our

roadmap

to

see

our

progre s s

and

determine our next step according to our w ork- strate g y . A n d we c a n b e s u r e t h at this chang e i n the e s sential self has occurred u n l e s s we h ave acte d directly upon the machine. to produce this change a rtificially j u st for our p ersonal e n h an cement . It is possible to artificial ly produce what are alchemical changes in the machine without the cau s e , what is calle d the

Alchemy

79

First Cause or t h e First Wate r . T h e First Cau se is the deep change occurrin g i n the e ssential self. The catalyst is the machi n e which p roduces tran sfo r m ation in the e s s e nt i al self, which is the n reflected i n the machine which i s t h e n cap able of additio n al transfo r m at io n a l effects upon the essential self, p rovided the mach ine i s awake to exert these tran sform ation al effects , which are reflected b y the tran sformed e s s ential s e l f u po n the mach i n e . Th e h u m a n b iological machine then b ecomes a differen t transformat i o n a l apparatus produ cing a d iffer e n t c h ange i n essential s e l f w h i c h

is

reflected

in

the

mach i n e ,

w h i ch

produces a fu rt h e r change i n the m achin e , and becau se it i s a d ifferent mach i n e produces a d iffe rent tran sformat i o n a l effe c t , and so forth . It

is

changing

b ecau se

it

reflects

the

c u m u l at i v e

tra n s formatio n s of the e s s e ntial self, beco m i n g a differe n t mach i n e p r o d u c i n g a differen t c h a n g e wh ich i s reflected i n t h e mach i n e prod u c i n g a d ifferent ch ange reflecting t h e mach i n e in an u p w a r d s p i r al of m u t u a l reciprocal i n itiatio n . O n c e t h i s proces s b e gi n s , t here i s no stopping it . If the m a ch i n e falls asle ep , the proces s does not stop,

it

simply ceases to continue. The alchemi c al p roc e s s is cumu l ative . It does not regre s s , b u t it may n ot cont i n u e for a h u ndred-tho u s a n d year s . At

each

complete

alchemical

process ,

the

p rocess

is

stab il ized . T h e r e i s no reversal s o , once b e g u n , it m u st b e fin i s h e d , otherwise we will b e forced t o live i n pai n ; t h e cup w i l l not pass from u s . B u t t h i s i s j u st a te mporary-in th e

l arger

s c a le

of

evolution - c e s sation of the process of cont i n u ation . It i s not a n e n d , n ot a stop , n ot an escap e . There i s n o e scap e . W e a r e not a stranger h e r e . W e d i d not come h ere fro m a d ifferen t p l a n et . A n alchemical notebook i s not a cookbook ; i t i s a map . Can we see the difference b etween a cookbook a n d a map? A cookbook we wou l d fol low like a recipe , work i n g backwards . O n e is l in e a r , o n e is not l inear . Th e cookbook we follow step-by - step , with a map , we can l ook anywh ere we w a n t .

80

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

What do we actually need to know about alch emy? Awakening of the mach ine produces transformation, and transformation is reflected in alchemical results in the machine . If w e know how t o read the map sufficiently to find t h e little red arrow th at says , "you are here " , and we know how to move this little red arrow when appropriate, in other words , we recognize changes in the machine when they occur, by having some attention on the machine , then we know everything necess ary about alchemy except the details of the map , which anyone can learn just in the course of working to awaken the mach ine.

E.}. Gold, Bringing the Woman to Life, 2-5-9 1 , Pastel on Sennelier, 1 0"x13".

CHAPTER 15 Bringing the Woman to Life If we foUow the machine as a lover would unrelentingly fix his gaze upon his Beloved, 8llecl with astonishment, rapture and gratitude, the machine wiD come to life, awakening and responding to the power of adoration with a profound emotion which will in tum bring about our own ti'ansformatlon. We h ave already estab l i shed that in order for the h uman biological m achine t o b e operati onal as a transformational apparat u s it m u st be in the waking state , and that only i n the waking s t ate c a n this function b e fully activated . How c an we intentionally bring about the waking state whenever w e wish to and, at the same time, know definitely that w e h av e act u ally accomplished this? Let us begin by cons idering the relationship of the m achine and the essential self as a work p artners h i p . What are t h e conditio n s of t his p artnershi p ? Perhaps a p arallel w i t h h u man rel at ionships c o u l d h e l p u s in t h i s m atter, since i n t h e m , we c a n ob serve a s i m i l ar proce s s .

82

The Human Biological Machine as a TransJormationalApparatus

If we look at the relationship of a man and a woman and ask ourselves what it is that a woman really wants from a man , the answer is quite evident .

A

woman wants a man ' s complete, utter, totally non ­

wandering attention to be placed entirely upon h erself. She wants to b athe in it , to immerse herself in it, and when she is able to receive this from a man, she in turn responds with adoration . She does not really want anything else from h i m , and everything she does-from cosmetics an d having babies to going with him as a sailor on a barefoot cruise or sitting grimly under a blanket at a Homecoming footb all game-serves this aim . She will do anything necessary to obtain this attention , and the

more

deeply

profoun d

the

attention ,

the

more

centered on herself it i s , the better. Why else do you suppose that she invests many hours during the majority of her youth learn ing a variety of exotic walks and postures which she feels will make her seem unique and interestin g ? W h y does she spend hours b efore t h e mirror training her mach ine to s mile , to laugh , to frown, to t alk in a variety of tones expressing a large repertoire of moods? Why does she learn to theatrically manipulate her mouth and eyes ? Why does

she cover her face an d body w ith

scrubs ,

mudpacks and cosmetics , endure chemica l treatments i n her hair , spend hours under a hair-dryer, invest hour after hour removing body hair, giving herself a manicure,

pedicure ,

curling her eyelashes and arranging her coiffure ? The life o f a n actress i s not natural t o her, b ut s h e knows that by these artifices she will almost certainly be able to attract and absorb the attention of a man , at least temporarily while she still h as whatever it was that netted his roving attention , and she knows that he will still respond to her even if he happens to realize intellectually that she has artificially produced the glitter and fl ash which has happened to catch his eye and keep his attention riveted for the momen t . And want ?

if this i s what a woman really wants , what does a man

Bringing the Woman to Life

83

He wants h i s attention to b e free to wan d e r wherever it w i l l go . He wants t o b e distracted and amus e d . His att ention i s scattered and fickle . It is almost as if t h e t w o genders w er e entirely different speci e s , each the oppos ite of t h e o t h er . I n orde r to anticipate the m any d irections h i s w an dering attention will take , a woman will accommodate herself to h i s interests as they s uddenly change tack and direction . If he is interested in compute r s , she will u n acco u ntably develop an interest in them even if s h e had never b e e n interested in the m before . If h e i s interested in science s , she , too , will fin d some way to be i nterested and to b e u s eful to him so t h at s h e can appear in h i s field of attention as h e pursues his momentary fascination . A woman w h o is really a woman wants this attention , a n d s h e w i l l do ab solutely anything, n o matter h o w degrading or debased or s el f-effacing to her own interests , to g ather t h e scattered attention o f h e r m an a n d draw it t o h e rs e lf. Of course she may eventually give up entirely and p ursue her own interests if she i s unable to obtain this attention from a man by these artifices . B ut if s h e h a s any success at all i n t h i s game , s h e w il l remain interested i n one thing a n d one thing o n l y ; a comp l et e , d e e p relationship . She w a n t s to b e reached , to b e touc h e d , t o be fulfilled.

Fulfillment is

a v e ry weak word which cannot

really

express t h e intense anguish which characterizes a woman ' s experiencp i n her relationships with men , and wor d s alone can not do j ustice to the deep feelin g s of incompleteness and disap pointment t h at haunt her. W it h t h e deepest part of h e rs e lf, with a l l her h e art , she wishes to b e found and to

be

known .

And so every woman has learned to b e co m e yet another glittering

attract ion ,

hoping that

a m an ' s

attention

w ill

someday fall upon her , even if only accidentally-and finally come to rest u po n her, warming her heart an d bathing her in the inte n s e radiation of total adoratio n . It rarely h appens that a man gets the me s sage , and many wom e n , though g ifted and intelligent, h ave felt i t necess ary t o resort t o vario u s forms o f personal fascin ation i n order to

84

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

win-or steal-the attention of a man. Fascin ation seemed to be their last recourse . To fascinate means not only to put under a spell , to charm , to captivate, but also to hold motionless , to hold someone ' s attention b y being very interesting o r delightful, o r even annoying, bitchy , argumentative or congenitally ill . Anything that comp els the attention can be a method, and when everything seductive fails , then nothing remains but the sad , plaintive and b itter mechanisms of neurosis, psychosomatic illness and little personal tragedies which are the common weapon of the contemporary housewife . Seductive or n aggin g , both mechanisms serve the same function . A woman knows instinctively that her life can be completed through a man , but she may be unaware that this can never be achieved through an ordinary relationship with a man. She knows that something unusual must somehow occur, but j ust what this may be escapes her, and her search among men in ordinary life is doomed to end in failure . She does not know how to get his real attention but without the Work , even if she were able to obtain and hold his atten tion, she would not really know what to do with it.

She does not know, and in the ordinary course of life cannot know , that what she wants from a man can only b e obtained through the process of mu tual initiation and transforma tion.

A man is in general even more ignorant than she is about this , because his interests lie completely outside the domain of deep relationships . All he knows is that he wants a new toy , and then, when he finally obtains it, he quickly tires of it and no longer wants that toy . . . Then he wants another new toy , and yet another. As long as his attention continues its inces sant, re stles s wandering , he c a n never be initiated . How are these two unrelated but mutually reciprocal species to be brought together? Shall the woman say to the man: Put your full attention on me.

This Is how you can accompUsh what you are after. I know after. Be with me, be fully with m e , don 't take

what you are

your attention away from me for a single moment.

Bringin g the Woman to Life

85

Thread your way through my labyrinth of love and fin d me.

H you find me you wUl find what you been after all your Ufe.

are

after, w hat you have

Were a woman to actually say this to a man , h i s body w o u l d m a k e a hole in the w a l l exactly corresponding to its momentary shape as it h u rt l e d through , b ecause h e could n ot open the door q uickly enough l How can a woman convince a man that b y this m utual reciprocal i n itiation , something genuine can b e achieve d ; t h at initiation i s not out there somewhere , that it is not even deep with i n h i m se lf,

that it is within her?

This h as been the dilemma of women for tens of thousands of years , how to communicate to a man what a woman so deeply intuits about the process of mutu al initiation , without causing his fragile ego to hopelessly fragment . Yet a woman is willing to s it and wait very p atiently for y e ars for a m a n to develop from the state of restl e s s activity , chatter a n d excitement , to a state of calm where he is able to j u st s it and b e with her ; where his attention stops its restless wandering a n d fal l s completely an d utterly upon h e r . A man can b ecom e , if h e is wil l i n g to m ake the sacrifice , a special type of alchemical fuel to be consumed in the warming of a woman ' s wo m b , her heart of initiation , and in the process of h is ann i h il ation h e is totally cons u me d , ann i h ilate d , a s the woman comes to life . Only w h e n s h e comes to life is s h e able t o resurr e ct h i m . Like Osiris , he m u st trust in his Isis , offering h imself up unselfishly as fuel for her i n ner fire, completely and without hesitation , without the slightest consideration for himself, in the same w ay that a mother will s ac rifice herself for the s ake of her childre n . A m a n m u s t learn fro m a woman that inten s e heart­ b ursting adoration wh ich makes a woman want to d evote herself to a man without concern for h e rself. A woman knows how to place all of her attention o n a m a n . She

instinctively

knows

how to

follow

h is

moods

and

86

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

dispositions . She i s always there, always w ith h im . She knows what he nee d s . She knows what he feels . S h e knows h i s heart more than he h i m self does . S h e h a s learnt t o read h i m l i k e a book . S h e knows h i s movement s , h i s posture s , h i s voice , h i s intonations a n d facial expre ssion s , h i s breathing . Even t h e s mallest det a i l reveal s something to h e r , a n d she is able to fol low it and b e t here with him. A m an , on the other hand, i s u s u ally totally oblivious to a wom an ' s c h an ge s . He does not see and cannot sense her inner moods a n d outer movements ; he does n ot know h ow to follow her, how to read her, and in any case he does n ot c are to; it is his o p in ion that she should follow him , and not h e h e r . B u t if h e w i s h e s to be i nitiated , h e m u s t i n all thing s fol low her.

If

she b l i n k s , he must b l in k . If she is happy , he must b e

happy a l s o .

If she

is sad , h e t oo should be s a d . As h e r moods

melt one into anothe r , h e must go where she goes , and do as she doe s , not l agging behind but always simultaneously. He must lose h i s breath , his h eart , h i s m in d to her, cleave to h e r , follow h e r , be one w ith her; move a s one , breathe as one , think as one, feel a s one, sense as o n e , as s h e does instinctively . He m u st l e arn the woman ' s most basic s ecret­ ' wheresoever thou goest , t here a l so will

I

go ' .

So long as a man chooses the i m aginary outer freedoms, h e is choo s i n g the life of catt l e , doomed t o w a n d e r from o n e gl itteri n g attraction to another. If o n l y a man could u s e his fu l l attention . . . give himself as a woman knows h o w to give herself! I n e s s e n c e , for a man to achieve what he really wants to achieve , h e m u s t lear n from a woman to b e a woman and , at the same time , m aintain his s a n ity as h e loses h i s gender­ identification and discovers what a woman really i s . I f a woman hopes to a ccomplish her own fulfill ment, she must fin d a real man who is willing to penetrate these deep inner secrets of a woman in order t o attain t h e real depth of a relatio n sh ip . S u ch a man is calle d an

alchemist.

Pity a woma n ; she cannot tell what she knows ; to p rotect his fragil e vanity , she must appear passive , she m u st wait , she m u st b e very cautiou s . She must not frighten her man .

Bringing the Woman to Life

87

She can only reveal herself when h e actually h as foun d his way through the l abyrinth and arrives at her chamb e r . By this time, he will h ave lost much of w h at he imagined himself to be as a man; the fire will h ave burned away his gender pride, and he will be able to confront h imself and her as two s ides of the same coi n . This is the true journey that b eckon s . Now , in t h e same way, if w e could view t h e h u man biological machine as a woman , as our initiato r , our true teacher, and we could effectively place o ur restless , wandering attention completely upon it, the m achine wou l d come to life , just as a woman comes to life when a m an ' s attention is p l aced upon her, completel y , absolutely , u nwaveringly . The essential self is uneducated. If l eft to itself, it will remain p as sive and do nothing . It will j ust contin u e to exist , patiently waitin g things out. The m ach ine provides the motivation for work . It un derstands the necessity for work . In spite of its will to remain asleep , it also yearns to serve a h igher pu rpos e . W e m a y b e s urprised t o d iscover that i t is actually t h e machine which seeks a school . T h e essential s e l f is too detached , too complacent, for such concerns . The machine b eh aves oddly i n ordinary life . A s w e study its p atterns of behavior, we discover that these peculiarities are signs of anger and frustration . It falls into the pursuit of trivia because we rarely allow it to perform its obj ective function . A s these tran sformations take place , the machine will also undergo a series of ch anges. But these changes are not artificial interferences i n the machine ' s beh avior or condi­ tioning. We must not alter this for fear of reversing the transform ational process . If we tamper even slightly w ith the machine , we may destroy its p roperties and capabilities as a transformational apparatus . In our observation of the machine , we must not be judgmental or critical ; we must strive to achieve impartiality and detach ment. We are not working to change the machine . It must not change artificially if we expect to benefit from its

88

The Human Biological Machine

as a Transfonnational Apparatus

transformational potential . We must realize that in changing the m ach ine directly , we would unknowingly alter the very factors which make transformation possible . This i s exactly the opposite of personal enhancement methods . As we begin our work, the relation existing between the essential self and the machine is somewhat remote and strained. The only will that we can actually exert over the machine is the will of attention , but this will is weak and so we are continually seduced into identification with the sleep of the machine . I n the course of ordinary life , w e learn to want attention but not to give it. We make basic assumptions about ourselves , which eventually become hardened beliefs . If the machine does not conform to our beliefs about ourselves , we lie to ourselves by reducing our attention on the machine still further. Our time is limited , we have only so much time at our disposal , we don ' t have all our lives. Before tran sformation begin s , we must use our attention to study the process of transformation and the methods of awakening the machine. In addition , we must study methods of using attention to awaken the machine, methods of the unremitting pl acement of attention, and then somehow develop the will to actually place the attention on the machine. We do not ordinarily have the will to place our attention unremittingly on the machine . A certain intensity of attention is required to arrive at any results whatsoever . To obtain this intensity of attention, we must provide ourselves with an outside source of force; we can borrow the will to place our full attention on the machine by adding something to it . Th is additional force which gives us the extra will necessary to fixate our attention on the machine is called adoration.

Bringing the Woman to Life

89

Adoration is an emotional ingredient, but not t h e emotion of the mach in e . It is a h igher emotion which can b e aroused in the e ssential s elf. This implie s , h owever, that the emotional centru m is fully functional , not the caricature we usually take to b e our true emotional centru m , not machine reverberations emanatin g from t h e mental centrum . In other words , b efore w e c a n bring the m achine t o life , w e must h av e brought t o life t h e one centrum which is ordinarily dead in every human being, the feeling centru m . W e assume that the e ssential self, because i t is spiritual, i s endowed w it h special h igher power s , that it i s capable of many wondrous things. But the fact i s , the essential self, i n its present stat e , i s q uite limited. It has only two characteristics : presence and the ability to p lace and fixate its attention . If we can bring the attention to stop its restless wandering , and at the same time overcome our own complacency about our situation in relation to our possible evolution , we could learn to use the machine as a tran sformational apparatu s . By intentionally placing o u r u nwavering attention directly upon the machine, and following its every motion with the emotio n al intensity of adoration , we develop a deep rel at ionship with the m achine. We m u st learn to lovingly observe not only the obvious motor-centru m activities of the machine , but also its mood s , thoughts , preference s , a n d attitudes, its qualities and weaknesses, what we pride ourselves on, and what we p refer to disregard . How can we really observe the machine under our fixed gaze of unwavering attention if we do not love what we are observing? How will we even remember to hold the machine in our full attention if we are not transfiXed by the machine, filled with gratitude toward its every movement , filled with astonishment and rapture? We must fol low the machine as a lover u nrelentingly fixes his gaze upon his B eloved, root o ur attention w holly upon the machine and not let it d rift. W e must clearly obtain glimpses of that part of the machine which is l azy and unwilling to work,

90

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

and grad ually sep arate ourselves from it, work our way out from under its influence . If we understand how the adoration of the woman b rings her to life , then we u n derstan d how to use adoratio n to focus our attention upon the machine and bring it to life i n the same way . Simple attention is mental , but adoration is a fun ction of the e ssential self. Adoration is much more potent. Obviously , when we speak of adoration of the m ach in e , we are not referring to something romantic and stupid . We intend to envelop the machine in the same intense mood of adoration which we would n aturally feel toward a lover in the ordinary sense. In certain schools , demonstrations intended as analogies to the wind-and-water tech n ique of aw akening the mach in e­ which

is to

say ,

the

inexorabl e pressure of u nremitting

att ention upon the machi ne-are sometimes given to pupil s . Some of these demonstrations have h a d the unfortunate destiny of being distorted and alienated from their o riginal meaning and p urpose ,

and no longer

serve their

proper

function as i s so often the case with teach ing t ool s , methods , and ideas . One such tool is a bell used in Tibetan B u dd hist sch oo l s . It is called the bell of the Dhanna, the bell of the teach ing.

We should take especial note that it is called the bell of the Dh arma-the teach ing-and not the bell of the Sangha-the work comm u n ity-or the bell of the B ud d h a-th e teacher, because it is a demonstration of the method of awakening and transformation , a vivid portrait of someth ing to be accom­ plished through a defin ite method. Rubb ing the edge of the bell, a vib ration begins and , once the beIJ is v ibrating at fuIJ p itch and resonance , we must continue rubb ing the edge of the bowl without interrupting the v ibration if we wish the vibration to pers i st . I f we are carel e s s , inattentive or hesitant , we will break the flow and the ringing will cease . We must then begin afresh . We m u st continue this exercise until we are able to make the

b e ll ring and keep it ringing in definitely .

91

Bringing the Woman

If w e lose th e vibration , the singing bowl must be brought slowly and carefully b ack u p

past

a definite

b arrier ,

a

threshold of vibration before it will again produce the ful l soun d . I t i s not easy t o make the bowl really s i n g and ,

like a

woman ' s awakenin g , requires patience and subtlety. Another demonstration u sed

schools to visualize the is the Japanese flute . It can be made

of b amboo ,

or even p l astic .

The easiest

flute , and its sound i s However , the real

perfectly adequate Shakuhachi is a

is difficult to p lay .

The bamboo Shakuhachi with

a

root b ase is the tru e

t e ach i n g i n stru ment , b ecause only perfect effortl e s s breathing and no-mind mindfulness-which we call p u re presence and the unremitting attention powered by the e ssential higher emotio n of adoration-will produce a vibrant and mellow sound from it . The S h akuhachi how to breathe o ne ' s fmal b re ath All of these heightened level Th ey a l l i l l ustrate

a perfect b reath ,

flute , as if giving lover. of t h e quality and awakened machi n e . machin e requires

con stant attention and p resence , with an inexorab le but gentle pre s sure , powered by the subtle force of adoration . We learn from the singing bowl a n d the Shakuhachi th at the machine will go dead-fall

back into sleep-the very life, falters or is

moment t h at attention, which has brought it to withdrawn , even momentarily.

If we consciously adore the m achine , it will respond b y reflex t o o u r adoration higher emotion brings about our

higher e motion. Thi s an swers our adoration

Attack at Dawn : A Beachhead into the Fourth Dimension In our beginning much at once. Our dissipates itself. We quality and potency

accompUsh too our energy quickly to improve the cOlloe:nS:1n2 them at first.

In our beginning work , because we are excited about the prospect s , we are probably trying to do too m u ch at once . Our efforts, because of their frequency, diminish in force and are not effect ive. Our attention wanders here and there, or i s distracted by many inner and outer influences, and we d o not seem to h ave our serious work much will to awaken effo rts . Our attention our e nergies many exercises toward work efforts into one m ajor We can condense effort at one definite time each day , until we get a good grip on it.

E.}. Gold, Attack at Dawn, 3-15-9 1 , Pastel o n Sennelier, l O"x 1 3" .

A t tack at Dawn: A Beachhead into the Fourth Dimension

93

If we could only take one thing with u s to a desert island it should b e the method for awakening the h uman biological mach i n e . We would need nothing else to realize the full potential of l ife in a human biological machine . W ith this method, which does not require special extern al condition s , we coul d accomplish everything possible for a h u m an being . If we were locked away in a room with only a single chair , plain wh ite walls and a bare l ight b ulb, even if we were a fish in a tan k , we coul d still do our work if we knew how to awaken the machine without the need for special exercises . Even if the machine were h elpless in bed, we would still have the machine ' s perceptions , memories and sensations, and as long as we have the machine itself, we h ave everything we need for our possible evolution. If we u nderstood the m achin e ' s perceptions , states and sen sations , we would know w hether it is awake or asleep, and coul d , if w e k new how, act upon this information j u st by placing our will of attention upon the mach ine , regardless of its state or condition, to awaken the mach ine and utilize its transformational fun ction. But the main point is that, if we inten d to try to awaken the machine , w e must not do anything else at the same time . We must place a pure hermetic seal u pon the t ime we have set aside for this effort . We h ave got to make up our minds that we will tolerate no distraction during this time . This firm decisio n , which tolerates no exception whatever, is the only discipline we need at this time. Even with an u ntrained attention , anyone ought to b e abl e to set aside five minutes a day during which nothin g else enters to distract o r attract the attention-no outside worries , no b u siness con cerns, no anticipation of the d ay ' s p roblems , no nervous agitatio n , no upsets, no d aily p roblems , n o emotional outbursts , n o arguments, no amusements , n o entertainment-ju st for fi v e minutes o u t of a whole day l When we first begi n , we establ ish an exact, very s hort, period of time that w e know we can set aside without distraction s . Boil ing the work-time down to a mere five

94

The Human Biological Machine. as a Transformational Apparatus

minutes serves to help us extract the es sence of a whole day ' s effort . A very short but definite period of work is l ike e stab l ishing a beachhead , a foothold, on strange territory . I n a sense, we are est ablishing a beachhead in the F ourth Dimension , hoping to someday build a colony in this strange new worl d . W e m u s t n o t b ite o ff more t h a n we c a n chew or the beachhead will be defe ate d . We must not try to d o too much at once , if we expect to see results . If we work along too many d iffere nt l ines at once, we become confu s e d , our work loses force and our effort s lose potency. We must set aside the same exact time-period every day , t o t h e exact second-then w e know that every d a y w e h ave a certain amount of time to work-and only th at short amount of time-during wh ich time we are to try to awaken the machine , thinking of nothing else , doing nothing else , worrying about nothing else . If the time period is not too long, our whol e , un distracted and unwandering attention should be able to focus on this effort without fail . Between these periods of effort from one d ay to the next, we must not allow ourselves to work to awake n the machine , even accidentally. We must allow the machine to run wild, to do anyth ing it wish e s , but the period for work is s acre d , sacrosanct-inviolable . We must hold the beachhead totally secure against any distraction if we hope to gain any g round whatever . This works best if we agree with ourselves to ho l d this beachhead at the s ame time every day , without fail . W e must not lose our foothold on the Fourth Dimension by wan dering away fro m our beachhead even for one d ay , or we are forced to begin again , not at the same point we began , but lowe r , because w e h ave exposed a seriou s weakness. Because we are concentrating our effort i nto j u st five minute s , we increase the potency of our effort . After a l l , we

A ttack a t Dawn: A

Dimension

95

have a ful l twenty-three hours, fifty-five minutes and four second s remaining to us each d ay to gather our energy for this single five-minute effort, if we do not waste our energy in fidgeting, nervous activity, worry , anxieties, in secu rities , vanities , exhilarating sport s , and other forms of negati v ity . It is the potency of effort that we are interested in . Of course, five-minute work obligation , we will of Hfe , but we must important-where our true ask ourselves be it our work or our priorities are-and up t h e other from ordinary h ab it s , then on . We m u st also find a way to pay for-to value-those precious five minutes of work e ach day. After all , w e inten d to allow ourselves only five minutes each day and no longer to work to awaken the machine. We m u st find a way to value this time in much the same way that we value money, whether we are aware of it o r not. We must find a way to p ay for this time-especially if we do not use it for our p rofit from it b ecause we have wasted concerns, or h ave dissipated ourselves negative e motion . twenty-three hours , We will be not allowed to work fifty-five minutes should act as a to aw aken the dynamo, building the potency for our beachhead in the Fourth Dimensio n , generating the force for our attack at daw n . This does not mean that w e should not withhold outbursts of negativity. Our n umber-one rule in work is that we m ay not allow ourselves to manifest negatively. Withholding m anifes­ tations of negativity for th e pu rpose of accumulating inner alchemical heat is an norm in a work com m unity, and the stress-related result are just transformation . another hazard Because we the potency of our effort, we m u st storage battery , each

96

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

other ' s storage capacitor. We are accumulating energy for a five minute work period for the following day. We are not to deplete each other ' s work force . Ordinarily , we rob each other' s work energy by drawing others into our negative states . Even if we do not take others ' work energy directly , we force it out of them by forcing them to become p articipants in our negative states . This is a form of emotio n al rape . We must respect each other ' s capacity to accumulate force , t o gather the greatest possible potency ; this i s t h e only strategy we really need for work . Theft or rape are crimes against a person ' s work . If we do this to ourselves, we are raping and robbing ourselves. The shock of realization of the grave con sequences of our negative behavior can assist us in gaining the artificial will necessary to remember our intention to awaken the machine . During this time. we will keep a work-diary , a record of combat against the will of the mach in e . This diary is obligatory , and n o one is exempt . In the diary we w il l keep notes about what was and was not effective, what w e think might h ave worked , and so on. Once we h ave established the beachhead, we can expand our invasion into the Fourth Dimensio n . We can think of ourselves as an invasion force, receiving our pre-invasion briefing the evening before D-Day . Each o f us will land i n t h e Fou rth D imentio n , take a five­ minute piece of territory , and establish a fi rm beachhead. Once we h ave established the beachhead and stab ilized the situatio n , we will begin to expand our operation; we will coordinate our invasion force and link up our b e achheads, then expand our invasion further into the Fourth D imensio n . Of course there are always c as ualties; the majority o f casualties in a n y invasion is always on t h e beach . During the remainder of the day , when we are not working to awaken the machine . we can study the machine, evaluate the sleep of the machine and see how difficult it would be to extend our beachhead into th is enemy territory . Does the

A ttack at Dawn: A Beachhead into the Fourth Dimension

97

m ach ine h ave fre quent emotional storms ? Is it very deeply asleep ? How committed is it to its habits? We may observe the machine o n a total rampag e , and for the first time we m ay realize that eventu ally, someday, sooner or l ater , we are expected to awaken the machine during the rampage , every single moment of it. We can use our time to b egin our evalu ation of the sleep of the mach ine , the l ife of the machine, how much will it e xerts over the situation , how difficult the terrain . We prob ably already h ave a good idea of which territorie s , which states, a r e going t o be difficult. As a general rule of thumb , the more the will of the machine i s exerted over the s ituation , the more resistant it will be toward its awakening . What is worse , if it happened once , it is likely that we will encounter that same terrain many, many time s in the l ife of the machine. Spend the d ay evaluating the sleep of the machine and evaluating how difficult it would be, b y asking yourself specificall y , ' Well, how hard wou l d it be to wake the m achine up in this sit u ation? What kind of problems is the machine m aking for me here ? ' In a sen se, we are gathering military intell igence to expan d our b eachhead with the purpose of eventually extending our invasion. W here before we were gathering evide n ce that an invasion was necessary , now we are g athering intell igence, information which we can use to e xtend our invasion into the Fourth Dimen sion . Remember that our aim right now is to establish a beachhead and at the s ame time to study the machine ' s activities-to gather the necessary intelligence t o expand and extend the b e achhead . This is no joke. For five minute s every day we will l iterally hold territory in another dimension , a dimension about which we know absolutely nothing. The only weapon the e s senti al self has is the will of attentio n . A small weapon , a subtle weapon , b ut a very

98

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

powerful weapon over a period of time . It is gentle b ut as inexorab l e as the wave s of the ocean upon a rock . Ev entually , all rock is redu c ed to dust. J u st by the gentle b ut

u n re m i tt ing

action

of water .

The

gentle

act i o n

of

unre m itting attention has the same ab il ity to grind down even the rock of Gibraltar into dust, sooner o r later . . . m ostly later , but t h is is the way with all noncathartic method s Ev entually

,

t i m e grin d s eve ry grain

.

.

J u st the i nexorab le

power of unrem itt ing attention will awaken the machine from its slow death . The awake ning will spread l ike fire under th e unremitting gentle but

inexorab le

atte ntion ,

j u st

as

the

greatest of geological for m ations eventu ally gives w ay to the inexorab le action of wind and water . If we u n d erstand this sim pl e p rincip l e , then we u n derstand the very b asis of zen . The only weapon we re ally have or need is the gentle erosion of the sleep of the machine under the inexorable pressure of the wind and water of attention

.

E.J. Gold, Warming of the

Soul,

2-3-9 1 , Pas tel on Sennelier, l O" x 1 3 " .

17 Warming of the Soul Growth of the soul requires a form of human sacri8ce, the exact nature mainstream

since

been d istorted

barriers-flaws

diamond-are or()ul1ld

self as a diamond which be cut and develops certain tendencies which enable it to enter the Work . We m ay think of a diamond as too hard to cut , but it can b e , o r we would not s e e multifacete d stones such as the brilliant and perfection cuts com mon to contemporary engagement sets . Although a diamond can be b roken with a chisel to make a rough c ut , it can only be ground i nto exact faceting by another diamond , d iamonds acting as a sandpaper. Of course , flaw , and it were u p flaw , the flaw center of the stone. diamond cutter like this; the flaw must sacrificed .

The Human Biological Machine as a Transfonnational Apparatus

1 00

We may lose some weight in the diamo n d , but it will b e more v al u able a s a smal l er but better diamon d . B ut first , before we can even c u t t h e diamond, w e m u st remove t h e raw stone from its m atrix , composed of dirt and much softer rock . T o remove the matrix , we use wh at we c a l l friction-a preparatory technique-to reveal the stone

in the ro ugh ,

applying a variety of techn iques . People in the mainstream of human l ife commonly con fu s e schoo l s with psycholog ical communities , b e c a u s e e s sentially the s am e techniques are used to remove the matrix an d reve al the rou gh stone within . But then-an d this is where ordin ary psychol ogy and philosophy fail s-they fe el th at once the rou gh stone i s rev ealed an d the di amond is free from the m atrix , i t i s perfect ; or, to obtain addition al fees from their clients , they may continue to stubbornly continue cutting the matrix long after the rough diamond i s revealed. Only if the diamond i s free from the m atrix can the abrasive proce s s t ake place . O nce the stone i s re vealed, w e are no longer interested in the matri x , so we disconti nue our grin d in g proce s s with the matrix. For the m atrix we use much softer tool s , but if we expect to cut a diamond we must use something equally hard; for this purpose we will u s e other diamonds as a polish i n g mediu m .

If we are l ike diamonds in o u r es sence a n d t h e diamond can be recut, then the great diamond of the Absolute , in whose image we know our e s sential selves to be made , can also be recut . If we can think of the Ab solute as a diamon d , we can also think of the work community as a diamo n d . But what if we noticed a fl aw in the community? If we obstruct others i n our work com m u nity, we-th e flaw in the comm u n ity-must be cu t aw ay from the l arger stone for the s ake of the stone , even though it reduces the size of th e stone , b ecau se a stone without flaws i s increased in val u e . Of

cou r s e ,

s m a l l fl a w s

need

not

be

cut

from

com m u n ity . The fl a w w o u l d have t o be very seriou s .

the

Wanning of the Soul

101

Only seven possible serious flaws could appear in our com m unity- d iamond . Of these fl aws we probably know a n ger the b e s t ; another serio u s fl aw is h at re d , and another flaw is u ncontro l l e d lust. Most of u s are already familiar with t h e s e v e n deadly flaws . If we cut those flaws out of our own diamond by abrasio n with o t h e r diamo n d s , we a r e not s o seriously fl a w e d t h a t w e m u s t b e cut out of a comm u n ity . B u t i f any o f those fl aws exists i n u s-resentm e n t , hatre d , anger, rev u l s i o n , disgust-to the e xtent that

we

actually

interfere with t h e work of others-if conditions are sti l l able to evoke i n u s wild and dangerous refl e x e s of n e g ative e motion , then we are s ubj ect to removal from the l arger stone , and it i s n e ither o u r choice , nor the choice of a teach e r . W e u s e t h e word matrix both

in i t s lapidary sen s e , w hich i s

to say , that ston e which encases a harder stone , and also i n the sense of mothe r . If we realize t h at a community is compose d o f t h o s e who have l ittle o r no m atrix remaining aro u n d the stone-j u st raw , rough d i a m o n d s-we c an easily u n derstand the d iffe rence between o u r selves and those in the larger co m m u n ity , who still have a great deal of m atrix and are concerned w ith th e t h i n g s of t h e m atrix , with ch anging the m atrix , pol i s h i n g th e m atrix and e n h ancing the matri x . O ur stone has b ee n e x p o se d , a n d w e are i n t h e raw, ready for cutting a n d p o l i sh in g . The Great Work, the c u tting o f the Great D iamon d , with our o w n d iamond-like e s se n t ial selves , i s called the p rocess of Redemptio n . It will req u i re more than j ust w e ourselves to accom p l i s h this work a n d to beco m e a p art of this work we must su rre n der ourselves to the work com m u n ity . If we hope to seriously take p art in this work , we must, once and for all , give u p the things of t h e matrix and reconcile ourselves to the seemingly end l e s s grin d i n g p r oce s s , the ' cutting of t h e d iamon d . In a work com m u n ity, our d i amond

m ay

be

severely

criticiz e d ; if w e became upset at this we wou ld realize at once that t h e stone h a s not yet been free d fro m t h e matrix , because

102

The Human Biological Machine as a Tran sjormationalApparatus

only the m atrix could become u pset b y c riticis m . I n the diamond i n d u stry , anot h e r word for criticism is appraisal . All serio u s flaws m u s t be remov e d , a n d th e more obj ective and ruth l e s s the appraisal , the bett e r . The best cutter will appraise the diamond absolutely ruthl e s s l y , without consid­ eration for t h e feelings of the flaws in t h e ston e ,

seeing

obj ectively and i m p artially what would b e b e st to bring the ston e to its fullest possible potential . Let us try to experience what it will be l ike to pol i s h t h e d i a m o n d once the psychological an d emotional mat r ix h a s been r e m o v e d . . . We will i magine ourselves sitting cro s s - legged , holding a heavy b al l of cold clay gently and lovingly in our cupped hands. As o u r atten t io n c o m e s to res t upon the clay, we w i l l i m a g i n e ourselves to h ave somehow s u d d e n l y ascen d e d from one of t h e lower dimensions i nto a h ig h e r s tate , in w h ich the whole u n iverse i s visible , and to have taken the form of this clay w h ich w e now cradle in our hands. Somehow , w e do not know quite how ,

although only

moments ago w e were convinced that w e w ere on the planet Earth , w e now fin d ours e l v e s viewing t h e u n iverse from the out s i d e . In o u r present exalted state , we v a g u e l y remember t hat i f this ' cl ay ' i s the u n iverse , t h e n i t s interior m ust b e fille d w ith trill ions u p o n trillions of l uminou s bodies, s tars a n d p lanets suspended in s p ac e , speeding outward away from one anothe r by t h e force of mutually repellent gravitation a l fields, a n d that somew here within this little universe i s the almost unthi n k ab l y miniscule

star

a round

which

our

most

recent

p l ac e

of

h ab itation , the p lanet Eart h , revo l v e s . W e know th at e v e n with the aid of v e r y b ig telescop e s , those remaining i n side the universe c an not s e e us outside t h e boundary of the clay , because, w ithin t h e bou n daries of the u nivers e , the light bends and reflect s , curving back u pon itself.

Warming of the Soul

103

Th e inside i s entirely dark except for the pinpoint brightness of l ittl e stars swirling in their galactic clusters . Although it looks small to us now, we know that the distance acros s this little clay cosmos we hold in our hands is many light years . We ourselves are connected in some way to this littl e both forms, the universe; o u r consciousness Creator and the Now w e are going this little clay cosmos " becau se it dimension , we would comes from the earth . At first , until we understand more about it, we are going to penetrate inside it with our s pecial vision and locate , somewhere among all the galactic clusters of stars, that l ittle yellow star n e ar which we will see the tiny spinning mudball from which we j u st came . We will allow our vision to penetrate deep within the clay cosmo s , far b eyond vision can see , far down into the lower W e are in no hurry ; time here , so we c a n work w ith n o attention toward the penetration into must recollect our fu ll attention . If we have lost some part of our attention to our past , we will not h ave enough force of attention in the present . If we hope to accomplish our aim , we cannot afford to allow even a p art of our attention to dwell in memories . W e will now collect all our past attention into the present. Some part of our attention also inevitably remains o n the little world in the lower searching with our penetrating vision . We will leave some help guide o ur vision. But we might also attention on our job or on our bills that we money. We cannot

The Human Biological Machine

104

as a TransjormationalApparatus

afford to lose our precious attention to such trivia ; a n d after all , what b u s in e s s do we have with salaries and rent , now t h at we fi nd ourselves outside the Creation ? Because we require this att e ntion for our p enetrating vis ion , we have the right to bring it to the pres ent for th i s purpos e . W e m ay h ave friends , children , husband s , wive s , fath ers , mothers , s i ste r s , brother s , cousin s , and oth e r s whom we have left behind us, who felt th at they need u s , b ut j u st now , in this circu mstance , we are of no help to them and , in any case, we cannot afford to sp are this attention . Because of our nece s s ity, we are entitled to b ring this attention to our present aim . U n doubtedly we also have some attention on the futur e , e v e n if i t is nothing more than gene ral worry about w h a t w il l b e c o m e of u s and our l ife . B u t w e a r e f a r fr o m that life now , a n d we w i l l n e e d every bit o f attention we c a n muster. W e will bring this attention also to the present . We might h ave some attention on our personal h u ngers , cravin g s , fe ars , discomfort s , and even u p o n exactly how we feel ab out our present situation. Our h u ngers and also our insecurities abo ut ourselves­ our vanitie s-even this little b it of attention cannot be s p ared from the task at hand. With a mentally visualized h and, we will l ift our atte ntion away

fro m

our

personal

vanitie s ,

and

u s in g

this

same

visualized hand, we will repl ace the collected attention firmly upon this clay obj ect as if attention were a tangib le s ub stance . If we h ave missed or overlooked some attention , we can coll ect it now , j u st l ike a tangible substance , and p lace it into this object, as if the attention were an add itional piece of livin g , palpitating clay. We also no doubt h ave some p art of our attention o n our phenome nal accu mulation s b ack on that tiny little p l anet , whatever

its

name

was . . . automobile s ,

cloth ing,

knick­

knack s , fu rniture , carpet s , drap e s , p aintin gs , photograph s , book s , record s , stereo equipment , television . . .

Warm ing oftke Sou l

105

Naturally, we h ave superstitiou sly held some p art of our attention o n them to guard them mentally against theft . If we take our attention from them, it is possible they m ay be stolen , but that is the risk we m u st take. We may return to an empty apartment, b ut we cannot afford to waste this very big p art of o u r attention , an d we need it n ow. We will l ift the attention from the obj e ct s we h ave accumulated , and push it into this clay substance we h o l d in what we call our h an d s . T o t h i s u n iverse we are l i k e a God . B ut if we h o p e t o do anything w it h this Creation , even God n eeds all the attention possible . I f some p art o f our attention still remains o n something­ anything other than the immediate necessity-we m u st collect it at onc e , in the same way that we would pick up p ieces of clay which have d ropped on the floor . W e will hold t h i s clay cosmos i n the ste ady gaze o f our unremitting attention and eventu ally, as the mood strikes u s , w e will imagine ourselves forming it slowly into some interesting shape , u sing the l aws of a rtistic accident. We suddenly recognize that this object , becau se it is t h e obje ct of t h e totality o f o u r collected a n d concentrat e d attention , is n o w actually the sum total o f o u r w h o l e attentio n , o f which w e are the source . . . that w e are n o w looking a t a living embodiment of our own atte ntio n . This clay substance , when infu sed with t h e whole of our attention , is called the soul , which we hope to h e l p to grow , evolve , and infuse with l ife . J ust n o w i t seems to be inanimate, l ifeless , j ust clay. This moment would b e a good opportu nity, since we happen to hold it in our h ands before us, and can see it quite easily , to feed it, to nurture it, t o give it nourishmen t . Let u s imagine ourselves doing j ust this . We will think o f nothing else b u t p roviding i t with nourishment, w ith our life­ force .

The Human Biological Machine as a Trans!ormatio1lillApparatus

106

We will discover that obstacles to this effort will arise in ourselv e s , but we can move the m aside by ment al Tai Chi or

emotional Jiu-jitsu. Considerations must not interfere.

It happens only rarely that we have an opportunity to perform this work of soul-warming . We may never h ave another chance in our whole

life .

So we must

use

the

opportunity now to h elp our soul to grow , first by warming it

.

The soul is col d . It has not had nourishment for a long t i me . We imagine ourselves studying it as we would study a love r , which is to say , o u r attention is compl etely r oot e d We cannot .

seem to draw our attention away fro m our sou l , even for an instant . We will use every breath t o give it life . Our attention must not stray , must not wander . Our feelings toward this soul are very important . It warm according to our love

.

will

. . our adoration . . . devotion . . .

our radiance to it . We warm the soul by setting ourselves on

fire

,

a deep, slow

alchemical fire , feeding the soul with our own precious l ife force . W e are consumed in this proces s , but we do not consider ourselves for a moment. The g rowth of th e soul require s h u m an s acrific e . We m u s t allow i t t o consume u s . We are th e alb u men ; we will give our lives that our belove d might live . We do not do this entirely for alt ru i st ic reasons. If we have studied , then we know the benefit to ourselves . Without this process we know th at we will be dead long b e fore we die . ,

We m ay pass th r oug h many different moods as we warm the soul . We may

j ust

hold it, or draw it to th e breast and

stroke it; we may warm each part by wandering touch ; d ance with it , study its visible fo r m , hear it, feel it . The warming force is called love-not romantic love , not sentimental love , but the force which

is love , w hich is to say,

that-which-warms . As t h e soul i s warmed, w e lose our own l ife forc e -

in the

form of heat . As the beloved b e comes w armer than us , then we become like clay , we lose our life and die . In effe ct , our genuine nature has been ab sorbed by the soul .

107

Warming of the Soul

Thi s i s the secret of transfonnation ; that o u r l ife- force learns to l e ave the rough clay of the body and enter and give l ife to the finer clay of the sou l . B efore t h i s , there i s no soul ; a s w e see , the s o u l is j u st a lump of cold clay . Through o u r sacrifice , the soul will live an d at t h e s am e time, a s we die , w e p ass to the soul, where w e a r e resurrecte d . We will b ring t h e sou l close t o the solar plex u s a n d when i t begins to throb , when it feels hot, we w ill allow i t t o ab s orb our force a s though feeding itself through an u m b ilical cord. We m u st fee d it with the life-force from many, many such bodies a s these , for a very, very long time, u ntil it i s fully developed . We can accelerate its growth and evol u t ion by givin g freely of ourselves and b y awakening the m ach in e . If w e have not lost our energy through negative states and m an ifestations , we can acc u m u l ate m u ch more of this

life force than woul d be

produced in the ordinary course of n ature . Slowl y , slowly , we will with d r aw , replacing t h e soul in the lap gently , very slowl y . It i s sleeping now. We will i m agine that we h ave put the sou l away u ntil next t i m e . We d o n ot k n o w if we will be a b l e to do this again s o o n o r o n l y a ft e r

a

v e ry l o n g t i m e . It m i g h t b e tomorrow , or it might

be one h u ndred thousand years , b ut at l east we h ave done a little today .

CHAPTER 18

Out of Body Once we are able to bring tbe macbine to stillness and sHence, we wnI experience ourselves as definftely sep arate from the machine with a life apart from and far beyond the life of the machine.

Here is an experiment that h as been devised to help us dissociate ourselves from our bodies and fro m the sensations of our bodies: W e are going to discover in th is experiment a whole body of knowledge u n availabl e to the majority of h u man b e ings , because they are entrapped by their taboo s . They are not allowed forbidden knowledge. Life h as a way of keeping this knowledge from someone who is not seriously pursuing it , yet someone who is seriously pursu ing it cannot be stopped from obtaining it. If w e reall y want it , we need on1y cross over the l in e . Diffused v ision is the key t o the out-of-body experience . A t some point , we will open o u r eyes , diffuse our vision, a n d find that looking down we have no l egs , no body, no arms. This wil l most certainly h appen to u s i f we pursue this seriously . Strange things are going to start h appen ing.

E.J. Gold, Out of Body, 1 1 -1 8-90, Pastel on Sennelier, lO"x13".

Out

109

ofBody

As we b e gin to provoke certain states and certain visio n s , r e a l phenomena will b egin to occu r , a l s o h al l u cin atory fal s e phenomena w i l l b e generate d . Do not discou n t everything j ust because there i s a lot of fal s e p henomena. Some things are gen u ine . When

this

m aterial

is

running

wel l

an d

the

fal s e

phenomena h a v e dropped away leaving what i s genuine , we are read y to work i n the more dangerou s domain s . Right now , what w e are doing i s safe , but at some point w e will h ave to l e ave the safety o f the island and l aunch out to more d angero u s re alms . Not now , and not u ntil we are very skille d .

' W e W a n t the mach in e to become compl etely relaxe d .

During th is experiment, w e must not allow move ment to co ntinue

in the m achine , except for the nec e s s ary life - support

system s of h e artbeat and resp iration . We do n ot wish to allow movement or anyth in g e l se which will bring our awareness b ack to the mach ine ' s sensation s . We want to lose the sensation of being in the machin e . Once we h ave been able t o bring t h e mach in e t o stillness and s ilence , we will b e able to use a very ancient trick to experience ourselves as someth ing wh ich is very definitely sep arate from the m achine and which has its life ap art from and far beyond the life of the machin e . S e ating ourselves before a full-length m i rr o r , with al l electrical lights and appl iances turned off and a d ark candle­

the sight of the can d l e

because we w ant no distraction s from

itself-b urning off to one side , b eh in d t h e b ack or

in

front o n

the floor-whichever works be st-we s h o u l d follow t h i s a s if it were expre s s ing thoughts in our own mind :

"I

want to get the idea that wh at

I

refl ect ion , b ut the machine its elf, th at mere

refle ction

suspended

in

of

the

m i d air

machine , or

through

see b efore me is not a

I

am a nothingnes s , a

viewing a

the

machine

doorway

between

dimensio n s .

"I

m u s t convince myself that I a m not in the m achine, th at

I am viewing the m achine from

outside .

J 10

The Human Biological Machine a s a Transformationa lApparatus

" I remember having been

in the machine , but now

I am

looking at it from outside, and it looks very strange to me­ very peculiar. It i s not at all what I thought i t was when I w as

in

it . " I m u st not allow my penetrating gaze to wander fro m the sight of the machine for a single in stan t ; I immerse myself in the feeling of mild s u rprise that

I was able to leave th e

mach ine so easily, and that becau se I am fin ally free from the mach in e ' s own view of itse lf, I see my l ife in the m achine very differe ntly than I did when I was inside it . " I very qu ickly realize that none of this is imaginary , that

really am outside the machine , looking at wh at

I I always

considered to be m yself. " I sn ' t it odd what a different view of myself " ! have , now that I am outside the machine? " When I was inside it , I thought of myself as looking quite different. But, now that I am outside , I see the machine totall y obj ectively , as others wo uld s e e t h e machine. " Is n ' t it strange to b e looking into m y own eyes , studying my own face ? Th e brain i s still in there , working away , j ust thinking ab out its own thoughts , and thinking about its own feeling s . Isn 't it refre shing to have left that b ehind? "I h ave p arked the body , gotten outside of it . This is a unique opportu nity to study it objectively from o ut side. What size does it seem to b e ? Wh at is it feeling ? " I wonder what sensations are coursing th rough it right now . . . what fe elings are reverberating through it ? As

I study

the machin e , I fe el some compassion for it , b ecause it i s mortal , i t w ill someday die .

" I know that it has pain , it has its own thought s , it h as its own hopes an d fears ; it has sadne ss, happiness, and sicknes s . " I know that i t h a s these things because I have shared them with the machine for a very long time now. " Th e machine taught me all about these things . It h as taught me pleasure and pain; from the machine I h ave learned to pursue the future, to hope for things to come , to long for the past, to put m y faith in activitie s , idea s , and feelings .

Out ofBody

111

" The m achine looks rather strange and empty without me inside it . It seems to h ave a life of its own . Its breathing and heartbeat go on as usual . It could easily go about its business without me, and no one would ever b e the wiser, no one would ever need to know that I was not inside the machine , if I decided not to return to it. " W h at difference if l did or didn 't go back in there, since I have thou ghts , feelings , or sensations of the " And not provide all its own al so makes its own thoughts , feelings decisions . How m achine th at just does everything itselfl " Really I am very l u cky, because I need not concern myself with the business of the m ach in e . My interference is unnecessary . It i s an automatic machine . " I wonder what it is thinking now . . . Let me take stock of what I see , starting with the apparent size of the object. W h at size is it , actu ally ? When viewed from outside, not in relation to any of its have any p articul ar size . " It seems , just a m ach i n e , somethin g c arved energy sculpture . . . a solid m athematical "Just a n empty not seem capable of anything . It seems absurd to think of it as anything that can have thoughts and feelings. " I suddenly realiz e how these thought-patterns I am h aving now are a result of having been i mmersed in the sleep of the mach ine , how much I have been conditioned to think and feel l ik e the machin e . " Looking a t t h e machine from o u t here , I c a n s e e that i t does n o t h ave much did have much time from the beginning. not to be stuck in there any more , "The m achin e and conditioned by l ife t o remain a transformational it to overcome al l apparatus . If I return

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

112

sorts of social taboos and psychological fears which it has accepte d and which were intended to keep t h e machine in sleep . " Th e m achine looks as if it has suffered a great deal , and has spent a lot of time doing things that it didn ' t l ik e , and that were u n comfortab l e . " I h ave t h e feeling that t h i s is someth ing l i k e w h at I will experience when the machine die s ; I ' ll t u rn arou n d and look at the dead m achine , and this is more or less wh at it will look like . " I know th at if I cannot get the machine to fun ction as a transformational app arat u s , I will be drawn into it again . . . " I know that if everything continues the way it is going now , my tendency will b e to return to it , and at the moment of its deat h , I will probably w ant to return to its moment of birth , staying in it again all the way through its l ife from b irth to death . . . " From this vantage point, the machine ap pe ars extremel y simple , yet ridiculously sophisticated an d complicat e d , and then the vision change s . " From here ,

I can see some unexpected things th at I never

thought I wou ld look at or consider . " If I can stay out of the machine a littl e longer, the reverb er ations ,

thought s ,

feelings

an d

s e n s ations

of the

machine will surely die away . " I fin d myself looking at it as if I were view ing some al ien thing, b ut ,

I

suppose b ecause I h ave j u st gott e n out of it and

started looking at

it , I continue to think like th e machine , feel

like t h e machin e , h ave sensations l ike the m achine, beliefs like the mach i n e , and attitu de s l ike the machine . " At times I fe el as if I will want to return to its l ife , or that even if I want to remain outside it or go elsewh ere, I m i ght be drawn b ack into it by sheer force of h abit and mutual e l e ctrical attraction . " Wh e n I first saw the machine from out here, I felt an incredib l e love and compas sion toward it , but now that I h ave been out of it for a whi l e , I feel ab solutely e motionless about this empty shell, this thing , sitting there in fron t of me . . . no co mp ass ion or love toward it, at least in the ordinary way .

113

Out ofBody

" I feel love but not as the machine knows it . . . i mpartial love , love without sensation , love withou t an obj ect. " As I take stock of the situation, I notice that there is a subtle difference in my focus, my outlook . . because I am temporarily free from the life of the m achine, I am aware of a different dimension outside my usual perception , even though the what I see i s more "I must t ry to all this is i n the diffusion of my means to achieve the annih ilation of which produces of volume, dept h , the halluci natory and distance . I want t o achieve vision which comes when I allow the vision to relax, not tryin g to look at anything sp ecific. I w ant to open my vision as wide as p ossible but not focused on anyt hing in particular. " Now I am starting a phase, in which I begin p roj ectin g an intense feeling of adoration for the machine which I see b efore me as I float free in space . m achi n e , th at i t is " It i s h ard t o own , unless I give entirely mechanical , it l ife, bring i t t o " This is n atural adoration t oward the machine, and life , it will return the adoratio n , w hich to myself, add to it and send some m o r e Bring it b ack , add to it and send it agai n , wave after wave of adoration . " I a m both the giver and the receiver . Th e giving is the getting. What goes aroun d comes aroun d . The machine can only return adoration as it receives adoration, and as I receive it , I add to it. " Adoration of the machine gives it life , like touching heart, a low voltage more adoration . I ever-increasing waves, pour adoration crescendo . . . building slowly to .

"

.

"

The Chronic Defense Mechanism Because of i ts fear state , the machine waking

state .

mechanism calle d the machine is UU""RtP.1rIP.d

reintegrate the sleeping itself against the particular

d efense

triggered off whenever

The m achine ' s chronic is another name for the mach i ne ' s defense mechanism , which acts a s a w ar ning that the m achine is n c ar or abou t to enter the waking state and at the s ame time , defends the machine against the waking state. Suppose we see that anger i s our typical state . We coul d deduce from this th at a nger may be our m achi n e ' s defense mechan ism against W e would soon mechanism wh ich we call the chronic but only when the machine ' s m aintain s its precarious balance�is waki n g state . ,

E.]. Gold, Defense de Furner, 2-27-91 " Pastel on Sennelier, lO"x1 3".

The Chronic Defense Mechan ism

1 15

Th e n e arer the waking state , the more profound the manife stations produced by t h e defense mech a n i s m . Th e n , when t h e w aking state no longer threatens , t h e defense mechanism tends to subside. A s t h e waking state is approached more closely,

the

chronic w ill manifest itself more and more dramat ically . The b arrier b etween the sleeping state and the w aking state is m aintained by the chronic . We actually are quite frequently n e ar the w aking stat e , often b umping i nto the waking state without act u ally crossing over the l i n e . In fact , a s childre n , most of u s were in the w ak in g s t at e most of the t i m e ; t h at i s , b efore the chronic was develo ped b y t h e m achi n e to defe n d itself against the wakin g s t at e so t h at it would be abl e to function acceptably in a social and c ultural context . S ocial , economic and cultural function ings are governed b y the sleeping state . If things were otherwise, the elements o f social existence would not b e important . The machine develops the chronic in the first place becau s e if the machine were to fall into the waking state and remain in the w aking state , the event s of daily life would take on little or no m e aning . We would find ourselves in the midst of a v as t , b izarre an d extremely h il ariou s comed y . The cultural imperatives would seem extremely funny,

and

we would

view t h e

social

necessities a s m e aningless and ironically zany . The test of t h i s idea can be proven b y the fact t h at those who are abl e to enter the w aking state often do so w ith p eals of helpless mirt h . I f we examine t h e laughter and t h e p urpose of the laughter as rej ection of paradox, we will see that it generally indicat e s that we h av e t a k e n a l o o k at the sleeping state and fi n d the pursuits of t h e sleeping state unimportant and even totally nonexistent i n relation to the raw reality of the waking stat e . In recognition o f this, t h e m achine h a s developed a n automatic defense mechanism against the waking state , which often takes the form of some chronic negative e motion such

as

anger ,

s arcasm ,

cynicis m ,

self- isolation ,

fea r ,

116

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

paranoia, hysteria , resentment, envy, pettiness, jealousy, vengefulness, greed, p iety , boredo m , grief, loneliness , anxiety , helplessnes s , stupidity , h atred , compulsivenes s , and so on , so th at it can continu e to function with sign ificance and importance according to the expectations of others . When we view the m achine as something which is actually functioning correctly in the sleeping state, as far as its s u rvival in the ordinary sense is concerne d , w e will h ave compassion , recogn izing the wisdom of the machine in its development of the chronic as a d efense mechanism against the waking state so that it can m aintain the sleeping state and therefore function properly from the cultural view . If we want to discover our chronic, all we have to do is go into horizontal sleep and h ave somebody shake us awake in the wee hours of the night or sometime in the pre - d awn and observe our first reactio n . That will be our chronic . Th e m achine does n ' t want to enter the w aking state . It knows instinctively th at it will h ave a difficult time reas sembling the sleeping state and resu m ing its social functions . At the s ame time , it' s j u st like a child who at first won ' t go into the b athtub , then after playing in t he tub a while , doesn ' t want to get out . The machine doesn't want to enter th e waking state; it resists it right u p to the l ast moment . But once it' s in th e waking state , it can ' t imagine what it was ever doing i n the sleeping state , why it preferred the sleeping state , why it developed a defense mechanism against this wonderful waking state, and may even wish never to return to the sleeping state again . But when it has returned once again to the sleeping state it can ' t i m agine what it ever saw in the waking state , and it wants to stay where it is now just as powerfully as it wanted to remain in the w aking state a few moments or hours ago . The m achine n aturally tends toward h omeostasis-the impulse to remain where it is and to stabilize the existing condition .

The Chronic Defense Mechanism

117

The machine ' s ultimate goal is to achieve t h e steady state and remain there without change from then on, forever, if possib l e . An u ndisturbed and unchanging routine in which nothing new is ever introduced, is the m achine ' s idea of Heave n . From our previous studies of the m ach ine in the waking state, we realize that in the waking state the mach ine no longer has will , in the sense that it no longer has the force to enforce its own patterns of behavior and d irection, because the machin e ' s will depends upon the motor centrum which functions w it h the force of negative e motio n , and n egative emotion cannot exist in the waking state . In the waking state , the machine i s in the same condition it would be in if it w ere h ypnotized, which is to say, devoid of m ach ine imperatives and the force necessary to impose them. Ordin arily , the m ach ine in its early experiences in the waking state tends to just sit or stand quietl y and d o nothing, or p ace n ervously up and down or back and forth , or slump over in the " p it y-me- slouch " , depending on its tendencies. I n most peop l e , the defense mech anism developed very strongly at about five years , b efore which it did not appear . , Once t h e defense mechanism i s firmly established, w e can become automatically fun ctioning members of our sophisti­ cated trib al culture ; true adults in the most poign ant sense of the wor d . The defense mechanism w a s allowed to develop in the machin e , but why? Only because somebody we implicitl y trusted encouraged u s to develop t h e defense mechanism against the waking state and to grow up-in a particular way­ to adopt certain h ab its and make behavior modifications and so fort h . Tru sted individuals in o u r life-parents, teachers, peers , uncles and aunts and others who were clo s e to us-gave u s , in fact, almost all those conditioning impulses-control commands-which form the defe nse mechanism. It i s this conditioning and the necess ity for a completely automatic operation of the machine which produced the need for the sleeping state .

1 18

The Humatl

TransJormationalApparatus

Th e defens e mechanism was developed by the m ach ine to k eep the s l eep i ng state in place, and eventually the sleeping state took t h e form of the defense mechanism, which further auto m atized the effect The defe ns e mechanism manife sts in behavio r , in po sture, in expressio n , and even in goals and purposes. Because we did not resist the inhibitio n s and and even obviously mechanical go al s , wh ich they imposed upon us in mu ch woul d typically be victimized by a close member of the family , but i n molestation i s on a psychoemotio n a\ , and not a physical level , the dam age is no less severe . Th i s con ditio ning m ight h ave been imposed in a variety of ways ; for in st ance , we m ight see uncle Arnold i n a vivid demonstratio n of reflexive ang e r which seem s to have an effect . Th i s anger reflex might eventually b ecom e the deep core around wh ich the defense mechanism would b e formed. Th e defen se of fun ctions i n our relations with and without it we would fin d OU rselves �V" H !J'� Vu' life A s we d i s cover ed nonfunctional i n the wakin g stat e , w e allowed the m achine to assume thos e social and cultural fun ctionings which we found impossible or m eaningless in the wakin g state . Th is take over of the machine would typically be completed by the age of about five years , and a second level of conditioning would occur once more at about eleven years. But w h at h appens to the defense mechanism once the m ach i n e i s i n the state ? The m achine only d e fends itself against t h e the sleeping state . No point clos ing h orse is stolen . A g ain , re mem ber defends itself against the waking st ate brief respite of the waking state , restru cture the functional sleeping state . .

.

The Chronic Defense Mechanism

119

When we can assure ourselves that we can re-enter the sleeping state whenever we wish , we will be far less reluctant to leave the sleeping state and enter the waking state . If we have the key for reintegration of the sleeping state , we also have the key to achieving the waking state . In a sense, the intentional disintegration and reintegration of the sleeping state is the key to the waking state . When we are able to freely leave the sleeping state , enter the waking state and then leav e the waking state and reenter the sleeping state, the m achine will no longer fear the waking state , and th e defense mechanism will slowly disarm itself, almost effort­ lessly . Th is idea and its resulting methods have fou n d expression in many teach ings , from the shamanism of the Aurignacian Period to Tibetan B uddhism and Western monasticism. Th e m achine m u st be able to view the waking state without fear-the fear that it might be trapped in the waking state forever. We can use the sleeping state to learn to solve the problems of the waking state, and to prep are ourselves to accomplish the Work, which is what we call that which is of real value from the viewpoint of the waking stat e , h o ping to someday enter the permanent waking stat e . Th e sleeping state h as i t s definite val u e . After all , had w e remained forever i n t h e waking state, w e c o u l d never h ave had the necessity for a schoo l , because we wou l d not be suffering in the sleeping state-which , after all , is our real motivation for seeking a school in the first place . The poi nt is t h at without special work on ourselves i n the sleeping state , we cannot remain in the waking state for very long . Eventually we descend into the sleeping stat e , and unless we h av e found a school in the l ower dimension s , we h ave no way of knowing that the method by which we can learn to tolerate and fun ction in the waking state is hidden i n the sleeping state in the same way that a pearl is h idden in an oyster. Ironically , the key to awakening is actually hidden in the sleeping state .

120

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

The determined-and successful-pursuit of the waking state eventually and inevitably act ivates the chronic, making someone who is working on himself about as pleasant to live with as an angry camel. Naturally the machine avoids the waking state because it dreads having to put the meaning of its ordinary existence back together again. The sleeping state has to be reconstructed each time from the waking state. It is all shattered and fragmented into what the Buddhists call skandas , which is to say , its primary components. This is what the mysterious Bardo Thadal is all about: the maintenance of the waking state by the intentional and knowing reintegration of the primary components of the sleeping state. Using special techniques, these can be made to periodically shatter just so they can be intentionally reconstructed-in the process of rebirth. We can learn to take oursel ves apart and put ourselves together again, l ike Dodgson' s Rosicrucian mYth of Humpty D umpty. The machine wishes to avoid the fragmentation, the loss of face of the waking state, because to the machine the waking state is like death. Ritual and some forms of theatre, particularly mime, can actually help us to produce good habits of intentional reintegration of the sleeping state. Only then, when we know how to consciously produce the sleeping state, will the machine no longer fear the waking state. The essential self, of course, does not fear the waking state; it prefers it, while the machine will do anything it can to avoid it, fighting tooth and nail, clutching and grasping at every lamppost and doorjam that happens to present itself on the way to the waking state, like James Cagney as the b ig-shot no longer wisecracking gangster who falls into total hysteria as he' s being dragged down the corridor of Death Row toward the green door. Then once in the waking state, it will relax, and all the piss­ and-vinegar will go out of the machine.

The Chronic Defense Mechanism

121

Although the chronic al so s erves the sleeping state , the whole of t h e s l e eping state with all its activitie s , attitu d e s and aim s , also serves to reinforce th e c h ron i c . The

m ai n tenance

o f the

sleeping

state

is

the

most

important goal o r p u rpose of the m achine until it comes to a school , if. indeed . it ever does. If we ask anyone on the street , " Wh at i s t h e p urpose of your existence ? " , they will give an answer wh ich tran slates roug hly to. " My whole purpose i n existing i s to maintain the sleeping state of the m achine . " Anot h e r name for the chronic d efen s e mech an i s m i s Chief Weaknes s , but never mind what name we give it ; it all boils down to how the machine defends its elf against the waking state . In the w ak i n g state , all the e l e ments of s l e e p , all those things which make u s suffe r under their dominant force .

will

be ab s ent . The chronic and everything t h at serves the chronic w il l b e absent . T h i s s h o u l d give us the clue that

th e chronic - and everything which serves the chronic - actually forms th e sleeping state. U n l i k e hypnotism , in the n atu ral wak i n g state there is no external source of will and therefo r e . when the machine enters the wak i n g s t at e , i t tends to come to a grinding h al t , because there ' s n o one out t here to teU it what to do , and n o h i nt fro m inside , eith e r . At t h i s p o in t . t h e machine is in dan ger of b e i n g conditioned by an exte r n al sou rce of wil l . There h ave been political and rel igious systems which took advantage of the fact t h at external will can be imposed upon a m achine which has b e e n brou ght i n t o a temporary wakin g s t ate t h r o u g h s h oc k and strong emotio n , i n the same way that a hypnotist can impose h i s o r h e r w il l , except t h at i n the c ase of t h e h y pnotist , the waking s t ate also w a s imposed fro m outside . Even though t h i s idea may not b e u nderstood i n s o many words b y pol itic i an s , an d the t echnical d etails were never

122

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformat ional Apparatus

actually discovered, the practical aspects w ere understood sufficiently to produce definite effects in Nazi Germany and in the prisoner-of-war camps of North Korea . The point is that, if an ordinary hypnotist can bring the machine into a waking state and then impose external will upon it, there must also be a way of forcefully preventing the chronic defense mechanism from activating. The waking state and the hypnotic state are related-the only serious difference is that in the waking state there is no hypnotist , but in both cases, the methods of bringing the machine into the waking state are more or less the same . Almost every method of producing the waking state takes advantage of the fact that it is possible to use artificial m e ans to prevent the machine from using the chronic to defend itself against the waking state. This effect can also be produced with psychoactive substances, but although the defense mechanism is effectively disarmed by drugs, the waking state is severely impaired. But in any case , whether through hypnosis or self­ produced efforts, we cannot successfu lly bring the machine into the waking state until the machine is absolutely convinced of its ability to reconstruct the sleeping state . Part of a school ' s discipline is to learn several exact methods of reconstructing the sleeping state from the viewpoint of the waking state. With the key to the sleeping state , we have eliminated the machine' s primary objection to the waking state. We can categorize people into definite typicalities according to their chronic. In t his school, we happen to separate them into eighteen distinct categories, but we could just as easily decide upon any number of categories which make sense to us and prove to be a workable shorthand system of viewing the various defense mechanisms.

E.J. Gold, Seduction, 3-3-9 1 , Pastel o n Sennelier, 1 0"x13".

CHAPTER 20 The Electrical Affmity of the Essential Self and the Machine · The relationship between the essential self and the machine Is based on a seduction, an aftlnlty--electrlcal In nature­ between

their

electrical

fields.

Evolution

thus

means

transformation of the electrical field of the essential self In such a way as to free it from this aftlnlty. Once t h e e s s e ntial s elf' s attenti o n can be focused solidly o n an electrically charged anomaly i n t h e m ach i ne ' s electrical field , the attention of the essential

self is

s ufficient to

discharge the d istortion an d return that portion of the field to normal . When the e s s e ntial self b e comes aware of-and p roperly identifies-the

field

d istortio n ,

the

attention

n aturall y

desce n d s upon it . Thi s is an i m portant idea b ecau se t h e atte n tion of the essential s elf i s a low-grade cleansing radi ation s imilar to that encountered i n the waking state which h as the effect of t emporarily d i s arming the chronic and at the same time, stimulating m achi n e .

the

waking

state

by

reflex-response

in

the

124

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatu s

It is not necessary for us to know exactly what distortion is being corrected by this cleansing radiation of the force of attentio n . W e may or may not h ave a name for t h e distortion, see any significance in it, or visualize pictures associated with it, but when the full attention of the essential self is directed u pon it , the field d istortion will dissolve . U sually, however, we will envision some sort of mental and emotional p ictures and moods associated with the distortion . These mental associations are called significance ; they are not the charge itself. Th e charge is not stored mentall y . It is a direct functional impin gement upon the electrical fi el d . Mental pictures are j u st a filing syste m , a way of assigning some graspable meaning to simple electrical potential so that the mental apparatus can keep track of the machin e ' s field distortion s in which memory is stored . If the mental apparatus didn't as sign meaning and significance to these electrical anomalies, it would h ave no way of recall ing memory , because without significance, all field distortions look alike . After all , they' re j ust lumps of energy in an energy field . . . a slight variation of gray in an ocean of gray . Experience itself, especially experience within the space­ time m at ri x , is a way of labeling something that is happening to us o n an electrical- mathematical level . Perceptual experience and analysis of our experience is j ust one of many possible ways of sorting it out , l abeling it, and filing it . Our whole voyage through time and space from b irth to death and beyond is simply a way of labeling , storing , filing, and recovering what is h appening to us. It is a way of seeing what is h appening . We file our electrical experience in memory by assigning to each e lectrical event a definite, rememberabl e sUbjective tactile hallucin atio n . The electrical field o f the machine h a s n o meaning in itself . . . it ' s j u st a moving, swirling , ever-ch anging pool of dancing electrons, and things h appen to the electrical field , forming electrical eddies , ridges and cataract s .

Electrical Affinity of the Essential Self and the Machine

125

As t h i s h a p p e n s , tactile hallucinations explain w h at is happening electrical l y . Every event , no matte r how real the tactile h a l l u ci n ation may seem in the sUbjective sense, i s , in the physics sense , an e l ectrical event comp letel y devoid of any obj ective s ignificance . Every e l e ctrical event h as d ur ation . We can follow the event b y following the hallucination s which are a s sociated with it . We mustn ' t trust the hallucin ations to tell u s wh at really happened ; we m u st trust the raw electric a l m e mory itself, which w e can fol l ow if w e h ave the training and d i s c iplined skill to ob serve events

in their pure electrical state .

An event is something which seems to occur on a p h y s ic s leve l , b u t t h e n when we e xamine it more closely , we see th at it was act u ally o n a mathematical level . We can fol l ow t h e exponential c u rve of t h e m athematical equation which represents the effect o n the electrical field which we call t h e h uman biological mach ine , w hich h a s h a d

a

furthe r effect by producing h allucinatio n s , t h e significance of which form the subj ective res u l t which

we

call

personal

experience. On .the experi ential level , we see and s e n s e a v ariety of mental pictures , we seem to have significance fOf t h e m , and we seem to h av e very real and very profo u n d l y convincing sensation s wh ich are associated with the physical event . The event then is stored electrical l y , a n d the tactile h al l u cinations which w e a s sociat e with it are als o stored . If w e dwell on t h e hal l u c i n ations

and the

s ubjective

significance of these hallucinations-what happened or w h at seems to h ave h appened-the hall ucination m a y d i m i n i s h or seem to h ave l e s s force , b ut the field distortion w il l t e n d to persist . We are not really interest e d i n the tactil e h allucinations associated with field distortio n s . We use them simply as a w ay of keeping track of w h ich field d istortions we are d e aling w it h at the momen t . Field distortip n s produce stres s i n t h e fi e l d , w h ich in tum cau ses pain w h e n we try to address the d istortion agai n . We can rel e a s e the stress with the cle ansi n g radiation of attention.

126

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational A pparatus

thus blowin g away the electrical potential wh ich is stored there and which m akes the electrical impaction that causes the field distortion . Fiel d distortion is produced by the impingement of other electrical events which occurred in the past and which , because they seem similar , are brought into the event for comparison . These other, seemingly similar events , are brought in by sugge stion . Suggestibility takes on a very d ifferent mean ing if we consider that suggestibility is what convinces u s to bring something from the past into a present event to comp are the present event with the past event because they seem similar . For in stance , this event may remind me of e i ght hundred and ten seemingly simil ar events-all t rying to occupy this same moment at the same time ! We all know that two or more things cannot occupy the same space at the same time , and that if they did this would te nd to crowd them beyond the tolerance limits of local space and tim e , which produces what physicists and engineers call tweak , another name for field-stress . If we removed all the earlier seemingly similar e vents from the present event , there would b e , in fact , no field-stress or distortion , because all the stress in the event is caused solely by the impingement of other events all trying to occupy the same space at the same time . The event itself does not contain stress unless other events are brough t into it . Even a very profound event , such as the electrical field of a baseball b at entering the electrical field of the machine with a great deal of i mpact and force would not in and of itself produce stress on the event , but because impingement is b rought into the event , there is an overload, producing a reflex state of sleep which is commonly c alled unconsciou sness . In our beginning work, we are learning to bring the m achine into the waking state, and at the same time, to remove sleep an d the effects of the sleeping state from the entire l ifetime .

Electrical Affinity o/the Essential Self and the Machine

127

We w il l do this in a variety of way s . First, we will remove the present sleeping state , and in the course of events , start removing past sleeping states . We will begin the repair of the past, going much further than j ust the l ife of the machine. We will start repairing the electrical fiel d of the essential self which goes back a very long way-farth er b ack even than the time - space contin u u m . Everything is an electrical fiel d ; everything is made of electricity. The electrical field of the es sential self and of the machine impinge one upon the other. Both of these are within a larger electrical field called biological life , itself with in a larger electrical field called the time-space contin u u m , w hich exists within a still larger field which is so far b eyond electrical events that it exists only as a pure , extremely complex mathematical equation b u ilt out of very simple units or building b locks which in their raw native state are total ly undifferentiated, forming a more or less endless ocean of light in infinite extension . The equ ation which is the primal but totally p otential cau s e o f a l l phenomena i s h e l d i n place by sheer force of will , and is shattered intentionally by smaller sub-equ ations, expressed as soun d , which causes the l ight to devolve into electrical phenomena. We will talk about this in detail l ater on. The e s sential self exists within and slightly o utside the electrical field of the machine. It interpenetrates the electrical field of the machine. Each interpenetrates the othe r, and they affect one another. Each borrows from the other. The electrical field of the essential self tends to seek a certain electrical field for which it has affin ity called the field affinity. The essential self tends to gravitate toward that machine for which it has the most affinity, and thus tends to repeat the same experiential lifetime . It is as if it falls toward the hole that it fits exactly , l ike a key which falls into the lock. Even when the m achine is in the waking stat e , this affinity continues . Only by actually changing the el ectrical field through the process of transformation c an w e change our destin y , or karma -by which is meant our tende ncy to fal l into that particular field for which we h av e the most affinity .

128

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

Eventu ally, as transformation occur s , the elect rical field of the e s sential self change s . This modification of t h e electrical fiel d of the e s s e ntial self which free s it from the affinity­ attract ion

to

the

machine

is

the

specifi c

and

technical

defin ition of the word transformation. Specific ch ange s in the electrical fie ld of the e s sential self, m ade with ex act knowle d g e , free it from the affin ity factors by which it is drawn into involvement with lower electrical fields in the lower dimension s . As the ele ctrical field of the es sential self i s change d , transformed ,

it

loses

affinity

for

the

corre sponding negative el ectrical fie l d ,

mach i n e ,

for

its

and for the lower

dimensions in general . If we h av e made the correct mod ifications in the electrical field of the essential self, it begins to seek the stati c potential of the higher-dimensional fiel d . No m atter what changes w e m ake i n the machine as a tran sformational

app aratus ,

its

field will

still

remain

an

affin ity- attraction for something. It h as a specific v alence in the ch emical - electrical sense. Chem ical valence is noth ing new or mysteriou s . It is u sed in chemi stry to ind icate the n u mber of electrons which form an electrical hole into which a po s itively charged p article will want

to

faI l-want

to ,

in

the

math e m atical

se nse

of

inevit ab ility -by- probability . A positively ch arged convex p article ' wants ' to be attracte d into a n egative

pocket-what

could

be

called

a concave

electrical hole i n the general field. Th is i s sex in the h ighest mathe m atical abstract , being drawn into intimacy and involve ment b ecause two fields j u st h appen to b e m atch e d positive to negative , convex to concave . Several things are operating here : similarity of p icture , similar ity of emotional

content or emotional

sign ificance ,

similarity of intell ectual or mental s ignific ance , simil arity b y particul arity-in t h e sense o f a seemingly s imilar smell , sight, or color-a p erceptu al simil arity . Th en there is simil arity by charg e , by whole ch ain s of ch arge

going

b ack

for

ye ars ,

ev e n

centurie s

and

ElectricalAffinity of the Essential Selfand the Machine

129

more . . . seeming similarity by shape , content and intensity of an electrical anomaly . The brain sees by co mpariso n , learns by com p ariso n , and orients itself by comp arison . We are suggestible in the sense that one thing which seems similar to something else suggests that we include both in a fusion of synthesis, and categorize them togeth er to save storage space in the memory sectors . We don 't think about this automatic comparative proce s s ; i t doe s n ' t happen with our awarenes s . I t i s not an intellectual process which occur s . The similarity is suggested s o rapidly that without our perceptual awareness , millions or billions or even trillions of similar events c an get pulled into impingement, causing a permanent distortion of that electrical event. Permanent, th at is , unless we h av e a way of going back to it and clearing it away . This can happen dozens, or h undreds , or eve n thousan d s of times in one single event . B ursts of impingement are brought in by s uggestio n . That suggestion is el ectrical in nature . And the suggestion is in a perceptual suggestion ; it is so rapid that it h appens far below our level of awareness . W e may know something happened. W e m ay fee l the effect of the fiel d distort io n , b ut we don ' t know spe cifically what happened until we look at the event , examine it , magnify it and start combing it electrically for charge. Then we can see what we did, what we unconsciously brought i n on o u rselves by suggestio n . W e w i l l fi n d th at not only did the m achine b ring its own comparatives in, but it borrowed from the essential seI r s electrical field; i t tappeq its o wn storage bank, a n d then, not satisfied w ith that , it tapped the storage s ectors of the essential self' s electrical field as well , confu sing the issue with events that happened when the essential self w as n ' t even vaguely h uman . It is easy to imagine what kind of distortions that would produce on the machine ' s el ectrical field. Let ' s call th e essential self 'A' disk. It h as the b asic programs with which it processes information and with which it experiences some sort of pas s age th rough the l arger electrical field which we caIJ the time-space continu u m .

The Human Biological MachilU! as a Transformational Apparat/. s

130

In addition to this, it also has its own m e mory s tored as itself. Th e e s s ential self

is its own s elf- memory in t h e sense

that m e mory is stored electrically in a specific shap e , in this ca se , expre s sed as an individu u m , h avin g self- knowledge and a sense of p erson al existence , and occupying a definite place in the m ath e m atical equation which contai n s all subsets and variab l e s , of which the e s sential self h appe n s to b e a part . Memory of specific events are act ually dis tortion s wit h in the field . We don ' t want to erase the entire memory but instead clear the impinge ments which have caused matrix distortio n s ,

p atterns wh ich make

some

p art s of memory

in accessible and even painfu l . We w ant t o rehabil itate t h e memory because b ugs h ave crept into the ' A' disk, into the essential self' s memory s ectors as a result of its

encounters w ith vario u s

external

field

d i stortio n s produ cing internal feld distortio n s . What would we call it wh en something starts to h appen , when me mory starts to fai l ? Bad s e ctors ? System cras h ? Some peopl e ' s experience of themselves can b e d e scribed as a system crash . We can see a system ' s crash when somebody is total ly caved in . We c an see somebody who has b ad memory sectors , areas of their own e lectrical fields which they would rather not return to , l ook at , or acce s s . Nobody wants to encounter or re stimu late b ad sectors . ' B ' d i s k is the experiential memory of the machine p l u s whatever t h e machine h a s borrowed fr o m the essential s elf and from oth er machines in the way of self-program ming and con ditioning. If we take the basic program of the ' A ' disk away , the ' B ' disk is noth ing . It has no being; it has noth ing of it self. It b orrows from the ' A' disk, the memory and programs of the essential self for its very existenc e , for its life , for its s elf­ awarene s s . It i s n ' t even self-aware witho ut the ' A ' disk to impose aware ness upon it . A machine c annot pos sibly b e self- aware . It borrows its self- awarene s s from the e s sential self. It i s fil led with the es sential self.

131

Electrical Affinity of the Essential Selfand the Machine

A n d for t h i s reason , it doesn ' t want the essential self to ever go away ; when it doe s , it knows t h at it will lose its s e n s e o f self- awar e n e s s , of fulfillment, of being fu ll w i t h l ife , o f b e i n g full w ith presence . It doe s n ' t want to l o s e its v i s itor . I t doesn ' t want it t o go away or t o leave it . Once it h a s b e e n penetrated it w a n t s to remain penetrated . S o it h a s the urge t o seduce t h e essential self into itself. I t seduces

m athe m atically and e l ectrically, and when this seduction is answered by the essential self. the resulting compulsive affinity-attraction can be described as a malfunc­ tioning of the essential self. indicating the remedy of transformation. Th i s force of affi n ity is based not on the associative min d or the a ssociative e motions , b u t on analogies or s i m i l arities of wave p atterns of light , sound and e l e ctricity . Before transformation, the e s sential s elf

likes

biological

affin ity- structures and doesn' t care how t h i s is satisfie d . It respond s to the machine as the mach i n e i n t u rn respond s t o stim u l ation of t h e pleasure-cente r . I d e ntification with the machine satisfies a c e rtain electrical cravin g , a pleasu re center craving which has become an aberration of the e ssential self. The closer the affinity b etween the e s s e ntial self and t h e mach ine , the m o re t h e craving i s r e d u c e d . . . t h e r e i s les s interference wave . A beat freq u e n cy oscil l ation i s redu c e d , s o t h e pain of cravi n g i s di mi ni she d . Pain c a n express itself as yearning or as a craving . I t act u ally s e e m s like a craving for a certain kind of pleasure or fulfil l ment . b u t actually it is a red uction or a s u b s i ding of the dissimil arit y ,

t h e field dissonance,

which

is

s atisfied b y

intimacy . Of course , if the e ssential self h a d not b ee n drawn into t h e machine , trans formation and evo l u tion wou l d be impo s s ibl e , so

alth o u g h it occurred by accident,

serendipito u s ,

a

fort u n ate

accident

we c a n t ake which

gives

i t as us

an

opport u n ity we would not have h a d othe rw i s e . Remember t h at the machine h a s a powerful a n d activ e w ill , although it is not real will . The machine ' s will i s mechanical

132

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

and fixated , and so also the machine ' s attractio n for the essential self is electrically seductive . B ut the e s s ential self also h as the capability of using seduction as a too l . T h e t w o seductions that i t u s e s a r e i t s o n l y rea l ability of will . These two real p owers-the will of p resence, which simply means the w ill to be present in the present , and th e will of attention which means the will to p lace and fix ate the attention on an obj ect , whether tangible, solid or abstract , concentrated or dissipated-are seductive i n the sense that their application forces the machine to respon d reflexively with the waking state in much the same way th at the motor centrum of the m achine would respond to the stimulation of lovem aking . The e s sential self can apply stilI another seductive force to add to the force of these two real powers. This added force is called adoration. Adoration is the only genuine emotion which the es sential self h as developed prior to transfor mation . W ith the p roper training, we can learn to determine wheth er we h av e successfully activated the will of attentio n , will o f presence , or the force o f adoration . We can see whether the machine is active or p assive, and whether the essential self is active or p assive in rel ation to the machine . We can also determin e the exact degree of i m pingement of the two fiel ds . The more active the electrical field of the mach ine , the more we say the sleep state is activ e . The less active it is, the more the waking state h as been achieved and the more the essential self s electrical field will be revealed. Our awareness cannot obtain information on t h e electric al field and electrical events without associative picture s . We cannot grasp the field with our ordinary awarene s s , but we are aware of pictures , feelings, sensations, an d thoughts within ourselve s , and we do fol low our i nner dialogue in which we draw constantly ch anging conclusions about everything in our experience .

ElectricalAffinity of the EssentialSelf and the Machine

133

We are aware of our mental picture s , the s ignificance we give them , our considerations , our emotions, or at least, of how the emotions make us feel . We are aware of our sensations which are produced b y the emotio n s-by their impingement upon the mental field . I f we d o h appen to become aware o f o u r o w n electrical fiel d , we will notice a definite e lectrical flow occurring in a specific pattern. We m ay think of ourselves in this sense as a swarm of tiny bees in which each bee seems powerfully charged with an electrical field of its own . This is our first intimation of real consciousness. W e have become aware of ourselves; we have known ourselves for a moment or two . If we think about it , we realize we are just a n electrical field within a n electrical field impinging upon an electrical field for which we h appen to h ave affinity . And what is the machine in the m athematical sense? A n othingness, a hole into which we fell and in which we remained and will remain, because it will never decay naturally and diss ip ate itself into the larger electrical field of which it is an immortal part . It is our opposite number, our soul mat e , our ideal partner , and unless we do something abou t it, we h ave gotten together forever . We h ave fallen into a black h ol e , and until something seriou sly ch anges, we are going to stay in that black hol e , recurring around a n d around its centrum of gravity . Now what can an electrical fiel d do about this situatio n ? Transformatio n , we know , reduces t h e affinity b etween t h e essential s e l f a n d t h e machine. The reduction o f affinity shoul d therefore only occur after the m achine h a s served its function as a transformational apparatu s . I f nothing else happened , t h e machine a n d i t s essential self would never b e attracted to a schoo l , but under certain conditio n s , they are attracted by the same force of affin ity which brought the essential self and the machine together in the first p l ac e . A school is n o t j ust a place where people gathe r t o learn something new with the mental apparatus . A real school is

134

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

actually

an

anom aly-a

very

unusual

d isplacem ent

of

energy-in the l arger electrical field. It produces affin ity for the es sential self' s field plus the machin e ' s fiel d . B y accident or de sign -usually the re sult of some delib erate i nterfere nce by a me mber of a sch ool during the early for m ative year s , which could b e only a m o m e ntary encounter

the

-

combined

field

of the

machine

and

the

essential self develop an affm ity for a school . The field of the s chool will never ch ange

At a certain

.

point , our affin ity for the school will reduce and we wi1l leave . Eit h e r the e s sential self has achieved its tran sform ation , in which case it no lon ger needs a school , or the comb in ed field of the e s s ential self and the machine return to th e ordin ary state , in which case it h a s no more affinity for the school than bill ions of other s i m il ar fields . It either goes away because it has evolved , or i t goe s away because it h as devolved . In this s e n s e we have no more control over our presence in a school than about our utterly i nvolu ntary presence in the machine . People who leave a school don ' t reme mber the school . They don t kno w '

w hy

they

were there . It

is as if that

part of their m emory was erased . They ret u rn ed to ordinary life and became ordinary agai n . Their reason for being in th e school is no longer evident to them . Tw o things m ay h ave happen e d . The essential self evolved out of the m ach i n e , a n d , in this cas e , the m achine retu rn s to ordin ary l ife empty , and has no memory of the school . The essential selves have succeeded in transformation , but not the Work ,

leaving them

free

from

the

mach in e ,

which

has

returned to ordinary life . In a sense , these peop l e are dead , empty . You can see i t in their eye s . There i s no-one home. The y have little or no me mory of ever h aving been in a school , an d n o di scernible purpose for h aving been in a school. accomplish

wh at

they

set

out to

do ,

Or, in

they failed to w h i ch

case

a

degen eration occurs , and the es sential self and the m achine both return to ordinary l ife ; they will have very good memory but a sense of failure and anger - self-loat h ing

.

Electrical Affinity

135

Sometimes we m ay see the same model returning with a different cu stomer. Some empties just hang around the schoo l for years out of sheer h abit. In the ordinary world this is very evident in the university system . People go to college and then j u st remain around the college by sheer momentum. many years after graduation. school belongs to the The memory essential self. and rises out of the machine. the m achine of actual events which occurred although it m ay quite recall how or vaguely recall why-been a part And of course this h appen s quite n aturally . After all , the m ach ine has only a machine ' s memory , and it is abl e t o remember everyth ing very clearly , that is , right u p t o t h e time it went into the school and then it re me mbers everything afterwards , but it h as selective amnesia about things that h appened during its time in a school . It won ' t h av e a sense of failure , just m il d bewilderment. It can ' t imagine what schoo! . This is most evident in a machine vacated by the essential self. In another case , eventually gives up the struggle , subsides , its existence in the Even though there is m achine . This is good memory-an d even fond memory-of the school and the individual may keep u p his or her relation ship with the schoo l , he or she h a s failed a n d is p ainfully aware o f it . There i s a third case . The essential self has achieved transformation and entered the Work , in which case, the mach ine and the e ssential self have become one ; the affinity of the machine and the essential self h as been eliminated by the elimination of b oth p arty which h as a new affinity for In this case , the Work ; nobody misses it; the machine of the m ainstrea m of life . We remove a n d statistically our activities are and nature does not respond with its crushing revenge.

The Human

136

Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

If the e s s ential self is tran sformed to the degree that it enters the Work , the machine and the e s s ential self are one and

the

s ame-the

two

become

one.

A

secon dary

tran sformation occurs when one enters the Work , in which the mach i n e is tran sformed as a new kind of transfo rmational apparatu s . Th u s , w e see three distinct cases . . . in the first case, a total failure , a complete crash h as occu rre d ; the m achine remains as it was and the e s sential self remain s as it was . They both j u st go away , and i t ' s b ack to business as u s u al . In

the

second

case ,

the

esse ntial

self

h as

evolved

somewhat , l e aving the e mpty machine to return to its u s ual ro utine .

The

e s s ential

self

is no longer drawn into that

p art i c u l ar mach i n e , b u t because it is not entirely fre e it is eventually drawn into something, but something much higher, in which there m ay or m ay not b e an opportu n ity for fu rther tran sformatio n . Sometimes going into a high er dime n s ion c a n b e a dead end in itself, because from there opportu nities might not present themselve s . In t h e third

case ,

a

mutu al

reciprocal

initiation

and

transformation occurs in wh ich the essential self doesn ' t go too far b eyon d the machine , and the mach ine is brought along in a mutually s p iral ling reciprocal in itiation toward transformat ion , so that for all practical purposes , eventual l y , the two electrical fields b ecome so similar that there is n o difference b etween the e s se ntial self and the m achine. It isn ' t possible to e nter the Work without a m ach ine which

has been tran sformed, and at the s ame time , prep aration for the Work provides the neces sity for tran sformation an d p l aces u s in a situation in wh ich transform ation is an inevitab l e necessity . Ulti m ately , o u r own es sential annihilation i n th e p roce s s of tran sformation can be turned back tow ard the machine , all along the way . Th is i s refl ecte d in the mystical poetry o f the lover and the belove d . As each of them takes a step on the ladder, they turn

Electrical Affinity of the Essential Self and the Machine

137

to help the other in a mutual reciprocal proces s of initiatio n . You help m e , I help you. Th is is expressed in the ancient folk­ saying , " one h an d washes the other" . We can , if we wish , leave the m achine an d enter into a rel ationship with a much h igher individuum by freeing ourselves from the seduction of the machine ' s electrical field , which would amount t o getting ourselves out of one hole and into another hol e ; a more pleasant hole, a more exalted hole, but still a hole. Th e altern ative to that is to work with what we h ave right now. W e can use our present situation to prepare for and get ourselves accepted into the Work . We may want to give it all up and reach for something more exalted , b ut there is no guarantee that we w ill get into the Work with something more exalted any more than we wou l d with what we h ave now . The chances are , in fact, far less b ecause we m ay dead end into a situ ation so exalted and so profoundly u nchangeable that from it, there is no escape . Th e b est possible scenario in this event is that the essential self woul d actually continue to evolve , but there are no guarantee s ; it might do better or it might do worse than in the present situatio n . Nothing is certain about this . W e don ' t know where the better chance for getting into the Work lie s . In a sense though , we do know what the odds are . If we make an evolutionary mistake somewhere along the line , if we forget the needs of the mach ine to evolve with u s , if we leave the machine behind because we h ave taken two steps on the ladder instead of one , then we have no choice b ut to seek someth ing higher, because our relationship with the m achin e will be automatically s evere d . We w i l l find ou rselves in a situ ation in which we are forced to seek a more exalted individuu m w ith which to enter the Work , and in the meantime, in the h u m an world , we ' l l return the empty . This shows a clear lack of consideration for our work partner and indicates an unreadiness to enter the Work in any c ase .

138

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

If we b ecome i mpatient with ourselve s , with the mach in e , with t h e s it u ation , or with o u r lack o f progre s s , w e m a y de cide to t ake two rungs at a time even though we are well aware that the machine can ' t possibly keep up with u s . O u r first taste o f real freedom can easily seduce u s away from the concept of divine

slave ry ,

by which I mean an

intentional working partn ership with the machin e . W e must n o t forget that the machine is an empty hole in th e electrical fie l d into which we h ave fal len . It is a place we occu p y , not a thing in it self. When a machine comes to a schoo l , we have in a sense moved a hole from its rightful pl ace , its ordinary destiny . We cou l d easily b ecome so excited about our temporary release from our ordin ary destiny-and rest assured that it is only te mporary , a s anctuary provided by the school for the purpose of giving someone the freedom to work toward preparation for the Work-that w e ultimately might be tempted to e scape and so lose our p l ace in the Work , b ecause the life of the machine is our rightfu l place in the Work if we accept the challenge .

Then we m u st find another potential place in the Work , another mach i n e , and hopefully , event ually be attracted to a school agai n , u n der certain con dition s . O f course i t may happen th at the new machine never ach ieves those conditions or a school may not b e available at that time . There are only so many who can b e in a school at any given moment . We are under a set of very inflexible and in exorab le electrical law s in a school . Attraction

to

a

school

does

not

occur

by

interest ,

information or acciden t , b ut by el ectrical affinity . Without affin ity for a school , one cannot pos sibly enter a school .

E.}. G old, Eddie Ridges, 2-2-91, Pastel on Sennelier, lO"x13".

The Restimulation of the Defense Mechanism By constantly restimulating areas of cbarge I n t h e electrical field of the m achine , eddies which impinge

its ridges and the essential

self.

operates and If we understand how how it defends the machine state, then we can have at least some working idea of what it means to deliberately stimulate and restimulate the chronic-the machin e ' s defense mechanism against the waking state. In order to u nderstand how the chronic is intentionally restimulated in a school , we must remember very clearly that the defense m ech anism which we call the chronic is a system of conditioning which a m achine -\vhich is in fact a five-level electrical ficld�in Th e essential s elf field-it is an electrical field . . . an is oppositely charged from the machine' s of which h ave reciprocal wave form other .

1 40

The Human B ioiogicai Machine as a Transfonnationai Apparatus

It is also import ant to remember that the machine is not actu ally a thing or an object, but an absence in the greater electrical field which we call organic life . The m achine is a tube-like electrical fiel d which exhibits very specific v ariations along its length , which we represent to ourselves as the p rocess of b irth , life and death in organic m atter. But this i s just a way of explaining to ourselves something which is happening on an electrical level . We tend to impose b iological life significance upon electrical phenomena, but the fact is that we are viewing a blue-gray electrical field generated by sound-and even that is just a simple way of looking at it . The field has no color other than the color we assign to it . We assign color in the first place because it helps us to differentiate between the refractive and reflexive index of one or another sub -field of electrical phenomena . W e do so b ecause for one reason or another, w e happen to be able to discern the subtractive effect of an electrical field upon l ight which happens to fall w ithin the noticeable range of the electro-magnetic spectrum. Th e electrical field of the machine exists as a s ingl e event . It doesn ' t start to exist at conception and end its existence at the degeneration of the body-either through decomposition in the ground or through highly accelerated oxidation in a crematorium-contemporary human b e ings ' answer to real ­ estate shortages . The machine exists as a single unit throughout its entire existence . We tend to view cross-section s of it in a linear w ay , which gives t h e distinct impression that the machine begins its existence at one point and ends its existence at another p oint , but act u ally we are looking at it sideways , as if we were looking at a cross-section of a steel bar. Suppose we examine the idea of a steel bar which i s five feet long and one inch thick. We' ll imagine looking at it broadside in front of us , holding one end with one hand, the other end w ith the other h and . In this v iew , it looks l ike a single obj ect with neither b eginning nor end except as it exists or does n ' t exist.

141

The R estimulation of the Defense Mechanism

Now suppose we turned the bar en d-on and entered it from one end . In t h i s view , we would see it in cro s s - sectio n , and imagine t h at w e were able to somehow travel from one end of the bar to the other end of the bar, and t h at it seemed to us that

the

sUbj e ctive

impression

of t h i s

pas sage

ch anged

continually i n v e ry subtle w ay s , w hich we might call the p a s s ag e of t i m e . It wou l d seem as i f we h a d j u s t begun existing when w e first entered i t at o n e e n d , a n d t h at we stopped e x i sting when w e passed out the other e n d . The machine i s j ust exactly l ike t h at . It i s somet h i n g th at we are looking at from one end to the other from inside it , one cross section at a time . W e are travell i n g through it s i deway s . Th at i s n o t t h e way t h at t h e obj ective time flow happens . W e are t r avelli n g across time , not through it. W e are t aking a right angle cros s section t h rough the t i m e flow w h ich we call sUbj ective t i m e . Obj ective time is occurring at right angles to t h e time that we ordinarily seem to perceive . So we might imagine this iron rod with another iron rod , then another one , and so on , laid down side b y side , off into the farthest d istance . Th en we take a cro s s section of one , then the n ext a n d the n e xt . I t w o u l d give u s t h e impre s s ion that we were e xperiencing the same thing over and over agai n , when in fact , we aren ' t . Although i t i s very similar , the differences are subtle , almost unnoticeab l e , and the differences don ' t become evident for millio n s and millions of passes. From one pass to t h e n e xt , there doesn ' t appear t o b e much c h an g e . If t h e

machine were in the waking stat e ,

we

would

experience the entire iron b a r as a wh ole picture and b e g in to move through time. We would begin t aking forward motion through time at right angles to the t i me that w e normally experience . Momentarily we take a b reathless step out of time and space-a s p l it-second in the eternal moment-an d it seems as

if everyt h i n g i s standing still , b ecause the movem e nt that w e ordinarily perceive is movement o f a cros s sect io n . Here ' s t h e

1 42

The Human Biological Machine as a Transfonnational Apparatus

entire ro d , and we are trave lling sid eways in relation to how we were j u st trave ll ing before . Nothing is moving , nothing is happening , there is no time flow . Somewh ere along the line w e will

re - enter the

s ame

lifet i m e ; we will pick up the scan at the s ame place , except that we will be maybe three or fou r million iron rods down the l in e , but w e won ' t realize it, because each o n e i s exactly t h e same as the other one except for the fact that it is down the line . Eve ntually we will be concerned with the actual inner workings

of the

defense

mechan ism

and

later

on

with

disarming the d efense mechanis m . W e c o u l d view t h e disarm ing o f t h e defense mech anism a s dismantling a dangerous a n d vol atile bomb , in which w e must find a way to slip behind the triggers . Th e defense mechanism is l ike a bomb that is about to go off at any given momen t . And what is it exactly th at sets off the defe n s e mech anism ? The approach-th e thre at-of the waking stat e , turns on the defense mech an i s m , which then conveys us s afe ly away from it . If we were to accidental ly wander into a movie studio or a m u s ic recording studio, a security guard would come along and gently guide u s out of the are a . T h e fu nction o f the defe n se mechanism i s t o convey u s o u t o f the Forb id de n Zone-the waking stat e . Depending upon how rapidly we entered this Forb i dden Zon e , the defense mech anism will be more or less u rgent about con veying us back to the sleep state . Th e defense mechanism will be extremely court eous if we

j u st

h appen to wander a little bit toward the waking state . If

we

are

s l eepwalking,

it

is

understandable

that

we

w ill

sometimes drift toward the waking state in s p ite of o urselves . Th e defense mechanis m in this case i s n ' t very active ; it is rather cal m and it comes and t ake s u s by the h and , puts an arm aro u n d our shoulde r , and moves us gently away in a very cal m orderly fa sh ion from the Forbidden Zon e . B u t , let ' s s ay that a shock happens to occur a n d we are su ddenly propelled almost through the forb idden zone into the waking state .

The R es timu lation of the Defense Mechanism

1 43

We have crossed the neutral zone and we are at this moment in forb idden territory . It ' s as if a Russian submarine hap pened to b e fourteen miles off the Pacific coast . It woul d j u st be waved off, and nobody would be particularly bothere d . But, let ' s say there was a Russian sub marine i n the Hudson River. The reaction would tend to be a l ittle more intense-one might consider for example a small , tactical thermo- nuclear response over Kiev. A sudden shock can propel the machine into the waking state . . . or near the waking state . If that happens , the defense mechanism will tend to be more severe or more violent. Now j u st imagine it as a security guar d , and the reaction of a security gu ard when we wander p ast the fro nt gate of the Pentagon as opposed to the same security guard' s reaction if he suddenly found us i n the War Room. The defense m ech anism could go so far as to produce death as an answer to the waking state . It is not very likely , b ut it could . It certainly can produce extrem e n ausea, anxiety , severe upset, anger, hysteria, and s o on . A s soon as we begin dramatizing the defense mechanism , the mach ine enters the sleeping state , and once again , everything is nice and quiet. The dramatization will produce the sleeping state in the mach ine if it has wandered too close to the waking state. What happens is that electricity courses through ; we can feel it coursing through us when we get angry and start dramatizing the anger . If we feel the anger, we will notice a profou n d electrical effect occurring throughout the machine . It crackles with el ectricity . At that point, the defense mechanism has come into p lay and h as t aken the m ach ine away from the waking state . It would not do any good to j u st ram our machine i nto the waking state b ecause the defense mechanism will trigger, the security guards will come. There i s no way to brazenly walk into the waking state without attracting the attention of a security guard-the defense mechanism .

1 44

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

We h ave got to find a way to get into the waking state without triggering the defense mechanism, to get past the security guard . We will do this i n a variety of w ays which we call the Keys . But eventually we are going to outgrow the use of Keys. It won ' t b e enough j ust to use the Keys to bypass the security g u ard. At some point , we are going to dismantle the defense mechanism itself, leaving just enough defens e mechanism that we don ' t wander accidentally from the sleeping state into the waking state , but if we want to , we can pass the security guard very easily . The d efense mechanism is composed of a few hundred component p arts-not a p articularly complex structure-each p art of which is made from a very simple component assembled in much the same way as DNA protein chains . It is the electrical counterpart to DNA . Eventually w e will disassemble the defense mechanism entirely, l ike disassembling a bomb . But before we can disassemble a time bomb we h ave got to d isassemble or bypass the triggering mechanism itself. In order to gain access to the triggering mechanism, we must u s e something akin to jumper cable s . After w e dismantle t h e defense mech anism , w e will find ourselves in a d irect confrontation with a very d ifferent level of problems and solutions than we' ve been used to. A t first, we address problems and solutions of the sleeping state and of the m ach ine and its rel ation ship to its environment. In the lower levels of this work we will remain occupied with the machine ' s sleeping state. We can ' t expect anything other than this personal and environmental pre o ccupat io n in our p resent condition . We should not be surprised if we h appen to occasionally enter the waking state as a result of our beginning work efforts , b ut at the same time, we shoul d not be surpri sed if a few moments l ater the sleeping state reasserts itself. This is completely n at ural in the early stages of work . Even as we reach higher level s of work , the sleepin g state will naggingly continue to reassert itself. No need to worry ; in

The Restim u lation of the Defense Mechanism

1 45

fact , we want the sleeping state to work for us. We can u s e b oth sleeping and waking states equally w e l l for o u r work . The sleeping state is as valuable to a serious w orker as the waking state . It has its own uses. So to begin w ith, we are going to attempt to find a way to deal with problems of the sleeping state and find solutions to those problems while allowing the machine to remain n atural and relaxed in the sleeping state . Then comes the transition period, after which we enter a more or less permanent waking state punctuated by sleep and play , both n ecessary forms of rest and relaxation of the tensions of the waking state . Most of the p roblems of the w aking state result from the inevitable phantom reverberations fro m the sleeping state which contin u e to persist. It is behaving as if in the s leeping state, yet it is in the waking state. At this p oin t , we now turn b ack to a lower level of work and review some of the earlier material , but this time we do it in the waking state . Now the same exercise s that produced sleeping state p roblems and solutions before , suddenly produce e ntirely different reactions an d totally different res ults . W e are not really going b ack over the s ame thing. We are doing two different exercises that h ave the same wording, th at ask u s to addres s the same questions , yet address total ly different areas. We will scan to see if the sleeping state still has hook s , to see if there is anything left on machine levels .

CHAPTER 22 Every Which Way But Up The quest

IUAU"'.1U

vision of the h igher

may strike

we must understand

of another

without knowing much

would

uu.uCU",jlun

about our certain trsnsJtor:ma

Th e reflex effect u pon the machi n e , produced b y t h e not automat ically produced VISion of the higher dimension , not automatic in the sense t h at a definite effort is required to produce and maintain thi s vision , will res ult i n the definite arousing of certain unusual sensations which should , i n turn , p rovoke the w aking state . Any shock of a p articular nature will produ c e the waking stat e ; h owever, state by itself i s not yet, at the same time , waking h ig her dimension s . able to state in relation to machine its transformational dimensio n s W ithout the higher dimension , well sit and do nothing, basking in the waking state as with

E.J. Gold, Every Which Way But Up, 3-1 -91 , Pastel on Sennelier, lO"x13".

Every Which Way But Up

147

any other momentary sensation of pleasure . The waking state i nevitably produces the vIsIon of the higher dimen sion s , although we may not know that this is what we are looking at . I n turn, the v ision of the higher dimensions correspondingly produces the waking state . One does not exist without the other. B ut at the same tim e , unless we know that we are viewing the higher dimensions , we cannot fun ction in the h igher dimensio n s , and will continue to fun ction as if in the lower dimension and the sleeping state . Th e waking state is not p articularly difficult to achieve . It is achieved many times during the course of the average d ay except th at we don ' t ordinarily have our attention set to catch those time s . Your machine might even be in the w aking state at this very moment . Normally the momentum of our prior activities c arries u s through the waking state and, b efore we realize it, the waking state is gone. We need not think of this vision i n the mystical or shamanistic sense . It' s no more of a mystical vision than what we see all day every day. What differs is our way of operating with w h at we see . When we see the higher dimen sions , the d ifference is i n the detail. Rather than seeing the brain ' s holographic representation of the worl d , we will be looking at the world itself. Ordinaril y , we look a t t h e b rain ' s three- dimensional tactile h allucinations projected within itself in holographic form. But because the brain is limited to a s pecific and very finite number of alterable holographic symbol units, the amount of perceivable detail is always SUbj ectively the same . Details are eliminated as necessary to accommodate the b rain ' s inherent limit s . When we bypass the brain ' s inner holographic proj ection of the worl d , we perceive it directly. When the human b iological machine goes transparent , we look dire ctly at the enviro nment . W e see it with all the detail that the environment has. When the detail improves , the color improves , the sounds improve , all the perceptual qualitie s , the texture of the

1 48

The Human Biological Machine as a TransformationalA pparatus

environm e n t , t h e texture of our real ity changes radical l y , but if we s e e a table i n front of us, we will still s e e t h e table there; it ' s not going to turn into someth i n g l ik e a huge lemon or a paisley couch . It ' s still going to be a t ab l e , only more s o . W e w i l l b e a b l e to perceive t h e detail of the entire r o o m a s i f we w e r e looking at o n e t h i n g and y e t we h a d o u r att e ntion concentrated o n a single obj ect ; our attention will e x p and to inclu d e

the

entire

fiel d of visio n ,

rather

than

b e coming

diffu s e d and scattere d . T h e waking state i s produced by someth ing-or-other, b u t even i f we don ' t q u ite know what , we do know th at i n the waking stat e t h e b arrier to the perception of t h e higher dimensions i s removed . So all we need to do is perceive t h e higher d i m e n s ion i n o r d e r t o b r i n g the m a c h i n e i n t o th e waking state . Obta i n i n g

the

v i s ion of the

h igher

dimension

is

an

in dication t h at the wak i n g state has been achieve d , an d at the s ame t i m e , without the vision of the higher dimension , t h e w a k i n g s t a t e can ' t be u tilized for transfo r m atio n . Two e l e ctrical field s impinging upon one another produce a v ariety of effects . O n e effect can be that the dominant fiel d can often alter the s ubordinate fiel d . In this case , the e s s ential self is the subord i n at e fiel d . It doesn ' t have very much w i l l over t h e machin e , b ut i t does have t h e will o f attentio n , s o its principal tool i s attention , and its s econ dary tool is presence . We can only u s e those two things . Attention i s the most powerful tool we can use to produce t h e shock which brings the h u m an biological m achine into the waking state . Th e re are a v ar iety of way s in which we can u se atte ntion to produce t h e s hock to bring th e machine into th e wakin g state . which in turn produces the transformational e ffect upon the e ssential self. The vario u s i d e as t h at w e may h ave , things th at we try, oft e n do not work, and the reason that they do not work i s specificall y

because

they

don ' t

p ro duce

the

buildup

of

electrical energy , although they m ay produce a mil d shock . If

Every Which Way But Up

1 49

shock itself did it , skydiving would work to produce the wakin g state, but it d oesn ' t . There ' s a state o f exhilaration which is a false waking state . It ' s so close to the real waking state t h at it ' s almost undetectably different. However, there is a definite d ifference between the state of exhilaration and the waking state of the mach in e . A good technique will take into account that there i s a fal se waking state-a state of exhil aration, and/or e cstasy , and , by taking that into account, will produce the waking state without touching those things which produce the state of exhilaration or ecstasy or both . In other words , good technique does not produce exhilaration , but it does produce the waking state . We can produce one thing which is right next to something else . For in stance , we can precipitate strontium 90 which looks like calciu m , because the two are chemically the same , except that they are internally different . Strontium 90 and calcium are interchangeable in chemical combination , although they are completely different chemicals . They behave similarly . So if we were trying to isolate strontiu m 90 , we would have to isolate it fro m calciu m . I n the same way, w e must l earn t o differentiate between the waking state and the sleeping state of the machine . . . remembering that it ' s the mach ine which is in a waking or sleeping state and not the essential self, and that the essential self does not wake or sleep . It h as simple presence and is neither awake nor asleep . Th e only reason the essential self seems to be asleep is because it identifies with the sleeping state of the machine. It falls into the sleeping state of the machine . Because the m achine is in the sleeping state, the essential self is convinced that it also is in the sleeping state. This is the correct definition of identification . Identification is not bad in itself; in fact, it ' s a wonderful tool if it ' s u sed righ t . But if identification produces the definite impression that one is asleep because the machine is aslee p , then identification is harmful rather t h a n u sefu l .

150

The Human Biological Machine as a Tran sformational A pparatus

In the waking state , the machine is not really there for all practical p u rpose s . It doesn't exert its will, so there ' s no difference between the essential self and the m achine . In the waking state , the machine and the essential self are one , they are i dentical . In the sleeping state , electrical anomalies in the machi ne's field produce various forms of pain and u ncons ciousness . O f course , a s w e put our attention o n the machine and on the possibility of sleep , we know that the machine will awaken slightl y . And if we can remember that the machine is in the sleeping state , we can be more alert to the potential for its awakening ; and , when we notice something different we can ask ourselves 'Is this the waking state ? ' It may or may not be. But just asking ourselves if it i s the waking state means that we are alert to the possibility . It ' s extremely unlikely that we would recognize the waking state in the course of ordinary life . And it is very rare that we would fin d ourselves in a situ ation where we suddenly look u p , and say , ' Hey, t h e mach ine ' s i n t h e waking state right now ! ' The chances are that the momentum of activity will carry the vestigial effects of the sleeping state through the waking state . The sheer momentum of our daily activity will probably impose the sleeping state effects even when the machine is awake . So we don ' t often recognize that the machine is in the waking state simply b ecau se we are continuing to c arry on as if the machine were asleep . The machine i s not imposing its w il l , b u t o u t o f sheer h ab it a n d momentum , we conti nue t o carry o n a s if t h e machine were still imposing i t s w i l l u pon u s . So a method is necessary t o ensure that w h e n t h e machine does enter the waking state, it does not carry forward out of momentum those h ab itual sleeping state man ifestations and effects which mask the waking state in the course of ordinary life . This method i s highly technical . It requires some skil l ; it requires some artistry . But it is possible for anyone who is seriously interested to learn it w ithin six month s to a year.

Every Which Way But Up

151

But with in the matte r of a month or two we can achieve the waking state more occasionally than not. In oth e r word s , fairly often . . . four or five times a week, m aybe even more. We should b e able to achieve the waking state on our own volition , our own power. We can ' t do anyt h ing without the waking state. A t the same tim e , once the waking state has been achieved , our work has j u st begun . The u s e of the w aking state gives u s the opportun ity to test this teaching in the sense that if we can achieve the w aking state under our own power, if we can produce the waking state in our own machine, from that moment on, we will never doubt what i s coming . We will never doubt the rest o f it . In other words , right now this is j ust a theory , an interesting idea -if it work s . When we actually produce the waking state in our own machine for the very first t ime-we will be absolutely convinced of its reality . From that point o n , w e don ' t n e e d a n y convincing, a l l we n e e d to do is work. It ' s j u st a matter of work effort and we are going to spend years achieving this . It ' s not something that h appens over night, but in each stage along the way , we will h ave adequate demonstration that wh at we are working on is a reality . Not many methods offer demonstrations and proofs along the way . In some people , the waking state is spontaneously produced quite ofte n . I n most people , however, it is not. We will not even n ecessarily recognize that we are receiving information from a h igher dimension, because we don ' t really h ave the tool s for recognition . We wou ld b e most unwise to tru st it till we understand what it actually is . We don ' t need anything from the higher dimension in order to accomplish our transformation . It ' s j ust not necessary . It' s an interesting sidelight, but not something we are actually going to require . And it is not conclusive. We h ave no way of knowing what comes from a h igher dimension in relation to our dimension . U nless we can see into the h igher dimension and k now what it is - then w e h ave a reference for it.

152

The

Transformational Apparatus

At that point , we recognize it as something from a higher dimensio n only if we recognize from which higher dimension it came and what p art it p l ays in the h igh er dimensio n . I n terms of working alone or i n a gro u p situation , it depen ds on how fast we want to work. If we want to work individually and achieving enough of a then b y all means we waking state should work b y to work a l ot faster and achieve in would take fiv e or six decide that we prefer to

E.}. Gold, Dr. Janet III, 2-5-9 1 , Pastel o n Sennelier, 1 0 "x13".

CHAPTER 23 An Experience The following Is the account of

an

experience which Janet, a

medical doctor located In New York City, had with her chronic and how she was able to use It to cross Into the waking state. " It w a s very l ate at night and I w as working in t h e intensive c are u n it . The pre s s u re ward . to sleep , b u t

I

I

ICU ,

a s we c a l l i t , i s a very h i gh

was exhau sted and all

I

wanted to do w a s go

could n ' t , I h a d to fol l ow o n e of my p atient s very

closely if I did n ' t want to lose him . " I kept hoping I would b e able to rest for a few minutes b u t it was i m p o s s i b l e . I couldn ' t take a break a n d lie d o w n for a while, I j u st h ad to keep goin g . " At o n e p o i n t , i t w a s nece s s ar y to h ave a l a b t e s t don e immediatel y . I t was a q u e stion of life or death . I was rea l l y concerned w it h t h i s p atien t . B u t I w a s s o exhausted , all I wanted to do w a s go to sleep . So I became annoyed t h at I coul d n ' t get any rest. M y chronic j u st came right u p and

I

got

very angry .

" I already knew fro m prior observati o n t h at my personal chronic was anger , so I was not particu larly su rprised to see it once again . A nyway ,

I

got angry, s h arp and crisp as

I

u su al l y

154

Th e Human Biological Mac hine as a Transformational Apparatus

do when my chronic is activ e . " I took a blood s ample and b rought it over to an orderly and asked him to bring it to the lab for m e and h ave the test run . The test takes about forty-five seconds all together. The orderly refused to bring the s ample to th e lab b ecau se of Union rights . You can imagine how that fired my chronic ! I was furious ! " I went to the l ab myself and when I got there , the tech nician wasn ' t in the l ab to run my blood right away . S o I had to do it myself. I was seething ! My chronic was in ful l operatio n . " All of a sudden I caught my reflection in a l ittle mirror hanging on the wal l . I j ust happened to turn around and there I was face to face with my chronic. I s aw my chronic fully operatin g . W h at a shock ! That was it. Everything went boom and I was s uddenly awake. My anger was gone . " Th e room ch anged slightly . It wasn ' t freaky a n d farout like it has been or coul d be. It was j u st what it was for that moment . " B ut I knew. I absolutely knew th at my machine was in the waking state and that this occurred in relation to the operation of my chronic . I un derstood in what way I could use my chronic to achieve the waking state . I knew how it worked and I knew that if I could use my chronic more often in that way then I could ach ieve the waking state more ofte n . " Now I know that t h e state I w a s in is the l a s t step, t h e only thing that is in my way to the waking state . I know that th at is my protection device , the thing that is protecting me from the waking state . For some reason at that moment there was no danger from my entering the waking state, s o I was able to m ake that transition . I can ' t tell why. At that moment I cou l d , a t other t i m e s I can ' t . " Maybe t h e reason that i t hap pened t o me is becau se I was aware of myself in that moment and I was p rovided with the shock of seeing my chronic in the mirror. It was as if some sort of strange alien mask h ad affixed itself over my face . " Th e point is that maybe there is a way that we can provide a shock for ourselves at the point at which we can re ally be

An Experience

155

observing ourselves and know we are just about there . I know that I am not always going to be that lucky, to h ave a mirror handy j u st at th at moment. In fact , I know that a mirror won ' t work a second time. " But we shouldn ' t have to depend on accidental shock . There mu st be something that we can intentional ly do , if we are aware e nough to know that we are n e ar the waking state . " I am not quite sure what happened b etween the state in which my chronic was operating and the state where suddenly my m achine was awake. I am not s ure I can define wh at h appened that made the change. But I' ll tell you what I think happened . " In a sense these circumstances were probably ideal conditio n s . The shock happened to b e accidental at that particular time, in that p articular instance ; the shock was the transition factor but we should not have to depend upon an accidental shock . " The thing that made the difference was that as a res u lt of being aware of my chronic and u s in g the presence techniques that I have learned over the last year from working with G . ' s books , when I get to the point where I start getting angry­ because that is my chronic-I become aware of the fact that my chronic is active and I remember to ob serve the machine under the spell of the chronic. I didn' t have the word ' chronic' for it before . B efore I was j u st being present . Now I can s ay I observe the force of the chronic upon the machine. " When I walked into the l ab I stood there stewing for no reason . A radio was going and nobody was in there . The space was such a mess. " I was standing there alone knowing 1 was being angry for no reason . 1 realized it was my chronic, and then saw my reflection in the mirror . Had I not known at that moment that it was my chronic I was seeing in the mirror , I coul d have been completely overtaken by my anger. My anger was at the point where I could h ave j u st chewed somebody out . I could h ave called the tech and screamed at h im . I cou l d h ave done a lot of thing s . I could h av e repressed it. "In fact what I did was I observed it as my chronic and at

156

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

t h at moment caught my reflection and saw myself observing my chro n ic and t h at i s when it went over. Th at i s when it really all transform e d . " I think there is something very important

in the fact t h at I

knew it was my chronic . When I thought of it as a n ger, even though I was i n the presence e xerci s e , it d i d n ' t work. But as soon as I correctly identified it as the chron i c , and identified the chronic as that thing which indicates that my machine i s most n e a r t h e waking state , anything, a mirror o r whatever cou l d have served as a shock . It didn ' t m atter what it was . " I could h ave seen a suture, or I could have seen a butterfly cl a m p , or I could h ave seen a cloc k , anything could have served to function a s a shock mechani s m at t h at p o in t . Anythin g could h ave done it . All I h ad to do w a s realize t h at it was the chronic and, because I was seeing the chronic, that I was very near to the waking state . The mirro r h appened t o serve the fun ction o f t h e necessary shock b e c a u s e it s howed m e my own face u n der the domination of the chronic. " To me this i s a way of working w ith signposts t h at can help

us

to

fin d

the

waking

stat e .

That

might

sound

ridiculously , stupidly, simple b ut w h at other w ay do we h ave of finding the waking state ? After all , we don ' t know w h at th e w aking state is o r where it is e xactl y . We don ' t h ave a map . A l l w e k n ow is th at it has a n a m e , the waking stat e . We d on ' t h ave a map b u t there are signposts . " W e k n ow how far we are fro m it and we k n ow how clo s e we a r e to it by how strongly t h e chronic i s m anifesting . It i s literally l ike p l aying the g a m e of hot and cold . B l in d man ' s b l uff where i t i s said you are getting h otter o r colder a s you approach or move away fro m the t arget obj ect . • .

A n d rather than j u st seeing if it is hot or cold we can

intentionally p u t ourselves in the p o s ition to m ake it hotter, which might mean that we are close r t o the w a king s t ate . The key to getting really close i s to not explode t h e energy . The hotter you keep it o n the i n s id e , the closer you are to the waking stat e . A n ger i s my key . This does not mean t h at I should go out of my way to make myself deliberately angry . " Wh e n t h e chronic is working, i t means t h at I a m b u mping into the waking state . Not going into the wakin g state , not too

An Experience

157

far away from the waking state but b umping into it . That i s a good picture in my m i n d . What I h ave been d o i n g or trying to do since then i s to be aware of when my chronic is operat i ng . And I h ave been able t o even allow myself to cross over into the waking state b y doing one of two thing s . " Number o n e , certainly not t ryi n g t o g e t rid o f m y chronic . And secondly n ot explodin g . Not allowing the cath arsi s . B u t j u st b y realizi n g , b y t h e very n ature o f t h e fact that I a m involved i n my chroni c , that it means that I am n e a r the waking stat e , the n ext step i s either to stay where I am or to m ake the leap . You can j u st observe it if that ' s all you w a nt to do. B u t that i s y o u r signpost which say s , ' This w ay to t h e wak i n g state . ' " That i s your absolute key that you are n e ar th e wak i ng state . If you can recognize your chronic when it is happen i n g , not t r y to d efen d against it , not t r y to get r i d of it, n ot t r y t o fl u s h i t down t h e toilet, not look a t i t as somethi n g n egative but realize t h at that i s your key to the waking stat e , t h en you are getting s omewhere . " We m u st remember that when our chronic is

most

powerful then we are at our close s t point to the w aking state , and when it is l e s s powerful then we are further away . It is almost u n noticeable when we are very far away . " It stands to reason that a profitable lifestyle would p ut us in a p o s ition where our chronic is perpetu ally e xcite d . Not a perpetual state of cal m where we keep ourselve s as far away as possible from the w aking state a s eviden ced b y an inactive chroni c . " We mus t t h i n k of ourselve s as completely absol utely u nable to see our way . We h ave n ' t a map and our eye s are closed . The only thing we h ave is the h ot or cold of the chronic. The chronic i s a tool which i s our worst enemy and our only frien d . " We m u s t s earch o u t the s it u ations which most activate the chronic . These are the situatio n s we should be

in

most of

the time , as m u ch as we can tolerate it without making ourselves sick. " If we can s ucceed

in

maintainin g ourselves in these

158

The Human Biological Machine as a Transformational Apparatus

stressful situ ations , then eventually a shock will b e provided . We should neither try t o explode through nor t o pul l back. J ust stay there and explore , looking for a h ol e in the fence . " B ut there is only really one thing that is nece ssary . We must understand that nothing is actually instantaneou s no matter how instantaneou s it may seem to us . There is a cause j u st prior to something. If my machine enters into the w aking state , because it was at the brink, then I can con clude th at something sent me over the brink, b ut that is not important. What b rought me to the brink is important . And I shou l d try to get there as often as possibl e . " Of course we won ' t always succeed in going over th e brink . W h at I did was, I allowed my chronic to continue without i ntervention by ob servin g it, by real izing that it was my chronic . " But there is somet h in g else that I wanted to get across here because I think th at most peopl e think that their chronic is something to get rid of. I u sed to apologize a lot for snapping at people . I used to apologize a lot for b eing angry . And then all of a sudden I realized that it is my chronic . Not that it is all right to do things to other people , and I try not to, but I cannot express it at people now and allow it to continue, a n d that is very d ifferent . I can allow my chronic to continue its course without acting it out, and without repressing it , and th at is when it takes me to the point where in fact I can get to the waking state . " If you try to repress the feelings because you d on ' t want to act them out or you don ' t feel t h at they are right , or you think that there is something wrong with being fearful or angry or fru strated or wh atever your chronic h appens to be, if you don ' t stop it from going on its course , it can take you to the point wh ere you can cross over . " If you start intervening with your intellectualis m , if you do anything other than observe it and allow it to be without acting it out, then you lose the opportunity that it affords. W ith me it is important to not act it out . My chronic is offensive to peopl e , it is not good for me and it may cause a catharsis if I act it out. I don ' t want this catharsis because it is not going to

An Experience

159

be h e lpfu l to my efforts to achieve the waking state . " It i s j u st a m atter of realizing that you r c h ro n ic h a s been activated and allowing it to take you . Like a guide , it w ill take you by the h an d and l e ad you to the waking state . " A n d that is p recisely without any q ue stion what I did th at night . I knew I w a s being angry . I knew it w a s because my sleep was b e i n g i nterrupted . I mean all of the rea so n s that my chronic com e s to b e and that i s when it happened . " As I was walking around carrying t h i s tube of b l oo d , before it e v e n happen e d , before it crossed over , I s a i d ' Here I a m , boy i s my chronic doing it ' . A n d so I started to w atch it . I didn ' t try to stop the feeling s . I realized that that was m y anger and t h a t i s always going to happen to me , a t l east for t h e t i m e being and I might as w e l l take a look at it . So I was watching it , but I allow e d it to be and I didn ' t try to stop b e i n g angry . " You are going to try to get rid of the chronic by various mean s . And o n e of the ways i s to j udge it. Another w ay i s to intellect u alize it out of existence or to s ublimate it and to bring it into a h igher plane . You don ' t w ant to do t h at . You want to wallow

in

the

chronic

without

manifesting

the

chronic ,

although if you m anifest a l ittl e b it that i s fi n e . Not much though . A n d l et it grab you by the han d . Let it take you to the promi s e d l an d . The thing you h ate most is your guide . " But th e key is to i d e ntify it a s the chronic. If you t h i nk of it as j ust anoth e r state that you are in or if you are totally absorbed in w h atever your feelings are and you can only think about the m , if you forget that it is the chro n i c , it will take you nowh ere . " As soon as you correctly i d entify it as t h e chronic, it will lead you to and possibly throug h the b arrier . It will actually help you w here b efore it ob structed you . Because it i s a guidepost . It is a signpost, a definite thing . If you follow it without catharsi s , it will lead you directly into the w aking state . " If you go aw ay from it , or reject it , or are o b l ivious to i t , h o w c a n it l e a d y o u i n t o anyth i n g ? Y o u h a v e l e ft the pat h , y o u see . There i s a straight and narrow p ath . A t l a s t

I

can say I

understand the phrase , ' St rait t h e g ate and n arrow the w ay . ' "

INDEX Absolute, t h e . 1 2 . 1 00 Adoration . 8 2 - 83 , 85 . 1 06 definition of. 88-90 , 1 3 2 machin e , 8 1 , 56 definition of, Foreword. 76-78, Analog sampling , 63 Anomalies, in electrical fields, 59-66, 70 . 123-24 , 1 3 4 . 1 50 of, 59, 65, 1 23 cleansing radiation , essential self. 3 1 , 74 , 89 , 1 23 of the machine . 1 9 , 2 1 , 75-76,

80 of a man, 82-87 on the machin e , 88-91 pressure of, 23 , 98 penetrate lower UUn"JI"lm� , 1 03-06 produce shock to the machine. 76, 1 48 sensing as form of, 3S tool for awakening, 1 8 , 73 , 8894, 98, 1 48 to gather evidence, see Will-of-attention

to

47 Autonomic nervous system. 59 Bardo Thodol, 1 20 Barrier between sleeping and wakin g 159 electrical, 65 12 psychological , 9-10, Beat-frequency oscillation, 64 , 1 3 1 Biofeedback apparatu s , 2 1 , 62 device, 78 6·8, 79, 86, 9 1 . 1 1 1

rtiillil UJIl,

Buddha, 90 Cagney , James, 1 20 Cathartic methods, 48·49 noncathllrtic, 49, 98 Cave, the, Chief Weakoess, 139, 1 53 ·60 Chronic, Cleansing radiation, 1 23-25 Conservation of Energy, Law of, 20 Creation, 1 03 ·05 Creator, the, 103 D Day , 96 DNA, 1 44 machine, 46·48, 98, Death , of 1 20 , 1 1 2 , ·

Defense mechanis m , 27, 29·30, 1 1 4· 22 disarming of, 65, 142 disassembly of, 144 restimu lation of, 1 3945 also see 90 Dharma, 148 Diffused Dimension , h igher/other, 3 , 9 , 1216, 48, 68, 70 , 97, 1 5 1 -52 as a dead end, 136 Fourt h , 68 , 95·96 illusion of, 70 9· 1 0 , 1 5 , 70, 148

vision , 1 46-48 Dimension, lower, 1 02- 103, 1 19, 128 Discernment , higher faculty of, 28 Disintegration, of sleeping state, 1 19 Divine Dodgson, Dreams, Ecosyste m , Ecstasy, 1 49 Edgerly, Webster, 62 Emotional apparatus , 1 8 , 26 centru m ,

Essential self, 1 6 , 23 affinity for machine, 131 aims and aspirations of, 73 as a diamond, 99 attention of, 90, 97 attributes of, 27, 72, 8 1 , 120, 1 49 change in, 76-78 cumulative transformations of, 78-79 definition of, 1 9 , electrical transformations

64-66, 69, 70, 1 23 impingement. 67-68 First Cause/First Water, 79 Forbidden Zone, the waking state, 142 Fourth dimension , 68, 95-96 Frankenstein , 55 Galvani, Luigi, 54-55 Galvanic response, 56, 62-64 Glame-meter, 62

64

electrical field 1 23 -3 8 , 1 48 immersion in machine, 47 initiation of by "'''''Hlne, malfunctioning of, 1 3 1 partnership with machine, 69 , 72, 74, 8 1 , 8 7 - 88 , 1 50 transformation of, 20- 2 1 , 24, 57, 69 , 1 48 will of, 23 , 49, 74-75 , 88, 132, 1 48 Evidence, of machine's sleep, 27, 35, 4 1 -43, SO-53 , 97 circumstantial, direct, 44, 5 1 , 53 hearsay, 53 indirect, 44, 5 1 . Evolution , 23 , 26, 30 as a necessity, by reflex, 7 1 inner, 1 1 - 1 6 of the essential self, 20-21 , 69, 76, 78, 1 23 of humanity, 37 possible, 69 Exhaustion, as a method , 48 Exhilaration, 48, 1 49 Factory, 26 alchemical, 2 1 chemical, 2 4 , 27, Fascination , 41 , 83 Fate, of a fish, S Feeling centrum, 89 Field affinity, 127

HOI()graphlc replresentation, 147 biological machine , 42,54 affinity essential self for, 1 23-32 as electrical field, 55, 63 , 67-

68, 125, 140

as a factory, 24 , 55-56 awakened, 19, 93, 1 54 -55 definition of, 1 8 reflector o f essential self, 2 1 transformational properties of, 79, 146-48 Sleep. Waking state Dumpty, 1 20 1 49 of, 1 49 machine's sleep, 19, 4 1 -42, 88 Impartiality. in observation, 87 Impingement, 64, 67-68, 124. 1 26. 129-33 Isis, 85 Jiu-jitsu yoga, 30 Karma definition of, 127 wind of, SO love, 85, 87 IJIUIUMU;1JI1,

54

mOJlnlllg of, 4, 43

Symptoms , of death, 46 of sleep, 5 1 108, 1 12 hall u cination, 1 24-25, 6 1 . 67 Buddhism , 90, 1 1 9 Time-space continuum. 127, 129 Tonic , 63 Tortoise and the hare. 75 Transformation, 1 6 . 42. 62, 79·80, 107, 1 3 1 -36. 1 5 1 stepping stone, electrical force of, 24 , energy for. 76 in a school . 20 inner, 1 7 ordinary, 24 technical definition of. 68, 1 27wa.lr.in g state stres s , 1 26 Universe, 9, 1 2 . 1 02-03 , 105 Utopia, 74 Valence , 1 28 Virtue, 72, 75

Waking stat e . of the machine as reflexive response, 1 32 . 1 46 as requirement for 1 9 , 28, 81 , defense mechanism against, 1 14·22. 28, 1 39-45 definition of, 43 discomfort in entering , 45 false , 1 49

uses

153- 1 60 1 23, 1 50

Wavicl e theory , Wheatstone Bridge. 62 Will artificia l , 96 external source of, 142 free . o f the

75, 45-46, 5 1 -52, of the 68, 72-73 , 96-97, 1 1 7. 1 3 1 , ISO Will-of-attention. 23 , 27. 74, 88, 93 , 97. 1 3 2 , 1 48 Will of Wilson

V";,,,,,, ''' . rl. ., _ ;� � _

Womb, heart

21 90, 98 8S

Work, the, 1 8-20 . 26, 38, 74. 84, 99, 1 19 , 134-38 study of, 49 Zen, 98 Zero-gravity simulator, 68

Dear Inner Voyager: The book which you have just read is the first in a series of three practical books d esigned to offer explicit, s traightforward, clear and easy to understand information

issuing

from

a

proven

method

of

work-on-self. The next volume in this Labyrinth Trilogy entitled

Life in the Labyrin th is now available in paperback and is recommended to those who have achieved a certain understanding of themselves and are ready to go one step further in their efforts a t work-on-self by broadening their vision and learning further applications of the ideas a lready expressed i n this volume . The third volume which will be e ntitled The Voyager's Practica l Guide to the Labyrinth is in preparation a s this third edition goes to print. These volumes address those of us who are dissatisfied with the usual promises of enlightened self-gratification, simple emotional fulfillment, or personal enhancement. They speak to that part of ourselves which seeks to transform itself for the benefit of something higher. We are pleased to be able to share this powerful work ma terial with other seekers of the innermost path. Further materials are also available for those who have tested these ideas to their satisfaction and are prepared to make much more serious efforts . For further information write to: Gateways Books & Tapes PO Box 370-HBM Nevada City, CA 95959 or call

Te l : (530) 272-0 1 8 0 Fax : (530) 272-0 1 84 O rd e rs : (800) 869-0658 emai l : i nfo @ gatewaysbooksandtapes.com