To Find And To Keep

To Find and to Keep ♥ Serena Yates

I

“WHY won’t you admit that it’s too risky to go to this wedding?” The old woman stared at Ryan, her rheumy eyes barely visible in the half-light of the shelter’s soup kitchen. Why had he even told her, a complete stranger, his story? She’d been extremely curious and just hadn’t stopped digging for details, that’s why. “They’re bound to see you— and then what?” “But she’s my sister, and I don’t want to miss her special day. I’ve already missed so much of her life.” Ryan wanted to scream with the pain of being separated from his younger—if only by seven minutes—twin sister. It hurt just as much now as it had four years ago when he’d come out to his parents. They had reacted so much more negatively than he’d ever thought possible. “It must be hard for you.” She tucked a stray curl of white hair back behind a wrinkled ear. “But you’ve got to think about your own safety. If your parents follow through with the threats they made when they kicked you out—” “Don’t you think I know that?” Ryan put down his spoon, suddenly no longer hungry. “I’ve barely managed to

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make a living since they disowned me. I even moved to Canada just to be sure they wouldn’t find me. And I’m pretty sure that Nicole hates me as much as they do. God knows what they told her in the meantime. But I still love her, and ever since I found out that she’s getting married to my friend Peter I’ve felt this need to see them happy and together. Even if it’s only that one time.” “And you’re willing to put yourself on the line to do that, aren’t you?” She shook her head. “I guess I am.” Ryan’s stomach was churning, and his heart hurt just thinking about facing his family’s rejection again. He was just going to have to be very careful so they didn’t see him. “Is it really that important to you?” Her bushy white eyebrows rose in question. “Yes.” Ryan was sure. “Maybe seeing Nicole happy and starting a life away from our parents will get me some kind of closure.” He wasn’t going to mention that he missed Peter almost as much as Nicole. They’d been best friends in high school and had planned to go to college together. His parents had taken that away from him, but at least Peter had his business degree and a good management job now with his dad’s office furniture company. Ryan had diligently followed his friend’s progress over the years, using every online resource available.

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“Humph.” The old woman got up and returned their bowls and cutlery to the kitchen without another word. She was apparently unwilling to talk anymore. Ryan sighed. He took his ratty blanket with him into the tiny room he’d been assigned for the night, grateful he hadn’t ended up in a dormitory. After paying for the bus tickets to Grand Rapids he had no money to spare for even a hostel. He was forced to live like a homeless person just like during those first few months after being kicked out of his parent’s house. Tomorrow he would gamble with what little stability he had finally found in his life to go see his sister get married. It was sure to be a major event; the announcement had been prominent in the local newspapers. It looked like his parents were not sparing any expense to give their daughter a wedding day to remember and their numerous social contacts the appropriate impression.

FEAR and anticipation made it impossible for Ryan to fall asleep. After what felt like hours he finally gave up. There was only one place he wanted to be, and that was as close to his twin sister as possible. So he got up, left the shelter via the emergency exit, and walked across town to the little park opposite the church where Nicole would get married tomorrow afternoon.

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To Find and to Keep ♥ Serena Yates

When he arrived a couple of hours later his feet hurt, and he was bone-tired. A streetlight illuminated part of the wooden bench he’d scoped out yesterday. He sat down on the darker half of the bench that was almost hidden behind a big, leafy bush. It still allowed him a clear view of the church entrance. He sighed and leaned back, closing his eyes for a moment. It was almost midnight, and it would be nice to catch at least a little sleep. But that was not to be. Footsteps from his right interrupted his attempt at resting. Someone was walking toward him along the sidewalk. That was never a good sign, late at night when you were sitting on a park bench, alone and with nowhere else to go. Ryan opened his eyes and looked toward the sound. For a brief moment he forgot who and where he was and admired the tall, broad-shouldered silhouette of the man coming toward him. Shoulder-length dark hair framed a face he couldn’t quite make out in the half-shadows beyond the streetlight’s reach. The man wore a long coat that looked like it was nice and warm. Dark pants and leather loafers completed the picture as his feet entered the circle of light. Not a cop then. Not sure whether that was good or bad, Ryan got ready to get up and leave. The man stopped once he had passed the streetlight, his face now backlit and still not clearly visible.

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“Ryan?” The man’s baritone voice touched something deep inside him. It sounded almost familiar. “Ryan, is that really you?” Ryan squinted up at the stranger, a little scared now. Who was this guy, and how did he know his name? “Who are you?” Ryan’s voice shook with nerves, and he moved to the very edge of the bench, putting as much space between himself and the man as possible. “My God, Ryan, it is you.” The tall stranger took the last few steps and sat down on the bench. “I would know your voice anywhere.” The stranger’s face was now illuminated by the streetlight, and Ryan gasped in surprise. No, it couldn’t be! His hair was longer, but the high cheekbones, straight nose and the bluest eyes he had ever seen combined into the face of the man he had loved from afar for longer than he cared to remember. “Daniel?” His voice was a mere whisper. What was Peter’s brother doing here? “You remember me?” Daniel’s beautiful blue eyes were huge, framed by long, dark eyelashes. A small smile pulled at his sensuous deep red lips. “Oh, yes. I remember you.” Ryan smiled back. How could he ever forget the man he’d had his first crush on? Daniel was his best friend’s older brother, and the

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three of them had been inseparable despite Daniel being five years older. Every time Daniel came home from college they had spent all their free time together; whether it was running or going to ballgames or just hanging out. Ryan had been too young for anything physical to happen between them, but that hadn’t stopped him from developing deeper feelings for Daniel. The summer he turned eighteen, Daniel had told Ryan how highly he valued their friendship and how much he liked him. That had ultimately driven Ryan to come out to his parents, hoping that being honest would make it possible for him to pursue a relationship with Daniel. God, he had been so naïve. Their negative reaction and threats against his friends had forced him to leave that same night with only a backpack containing clothes, his favorite sketchbook, and some key documents. Even though he believed that Daniel would move on, Ryan had never been able to let go. His feelings had been too deep, and if anything, had only grown over time. “Where did you go? What happened to you?” Daniel lifted a hand, moving toward Ryan’s face, but let it fall back into his lap before he could touch skin. And just like that, the magic was gone as reality intruded. Damn. He couldn’t tell Daniel the ugly truth. He’d never made it to college, and he had no permanent job and no prospects for that to ever change. If he told Daniel the reason his parents had kicked him out would he reject him

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as well? He couldn’t face that. Not from the man he still loved with all his heart. “I’m sorry.” Tears welled up in Ryan’s eyes, and he jumped up, turning to run. “Oh, no you don’t.” A big warm hand wrapped around his wrist and pulled him down, forcing him to sit back onto the bench. “Let me go. Please, just let me go.” Ryan couldn’t even look at Daniel, he was so ashamed. He was dirty, smelled bad because he hadn’t had a shower in days, and his clothes were old and worn. Cheeks burning with humiliation, he desperately tried to pull his wrist free. “No, Ryan. I can’t let you go.” Daniel pulled him even closer, wrapping a strong, warm arm around his shaking shoulders. “I’ve only just found you again. Please don’t run away from me. Please.”

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To Find and to Keep ♥ Serena Yates

II

DANIEL held his breath, hoping with everything he had that Ryan would stay. God, he’d missed him so much. He still couldn’t believe he’d never been able to find him, despite all his efforts. Ryan’s skin felt too cold against his where he held a desperately thin wrist, not willing to let him escape again. His beautiful blond hair was as unruly as ever, but his locks looked dull and unwashed. He was hiding his face and Daniel couldn’t see the bright green eyes he’d only had a brief glimpse of before Ryan had tried to run. The man was trembling, whether from the cold or from intense emotion he wasn’t sure. “Please.” Daniel kept his voice soft. He didn’t want to scare Ryan more. “W-what….” Ryan took a deep breath but didn’t look up. “What do you want from me?” “I want to….” Daniel wanted to take him into his arms and never let him go. “I want to know what happened to you. And I don’t want you to leave again.” “But why?” Ryan lifted his head and looked at him, luminous green eyes large and full of pain.

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“I’ve missed you.” The admission was hard. Daniel didn’t easily talk about his feelings, but he had to get through to the younger man somehow. And he’d sworn a long time ago to never lie to Ryan, to openly talk to him about everything. Seeing the younger man leave without having told him how he felt had taught him a hard lesson. He loosened his grip and stroked Ryan’s wrist with his thumb, making the man blink and gasp, but he didn’t pull away. “But….” Ryan bit his lip and shook his head a little. “I’ve… it’s not a nice story.” Daniel sighed. He should have expected Ryan to be hesitant. The younger man didn’t look like he’d had an easy life in the last few years. “I didn’t think it would be.” Daniel smiled, trying to reassure Ryan. “I just want to understand, to know what happened to you. And now that you’re back, I hope I can help. If you’ll let me.” “You want to help?” Ryan’s eyes widened into a look of stunned disbelief. “Yes, I most definitely do.” Daniel grinned, relieved that he’d made Ryan even a little less sad. “Okay.” Ryan took a deep breath and looked down at their hands where Daniel was still stroking his wrist in slow circles. He looked back up, and the beginning of a smile lifted the corners of Ryan’s mouth. He turned his hand palm-

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up and returned the caress with the lightest touch to Daniel’s suddenly hot skin. Daniel breathed deeply to calm the excitement spreading through his entire body from just that one hesitant contact. He needed to cool down. There was too much they still needed to talk about. “I was naïve and made a stupid mistake.” Ryan’s eyes were unfocused, as if he were looking at something in his past. “I thought I needed to tell my parents the truth about myself so I could be honest about who I am. I guess I thought my parents loved me unconditionally. Boy, was I wrong.” “Believing your parents loved you was not a stupid mistake.” Daniel took both Ryan’s shaking hands between his warmer ones to try and warm them up. “I never saw any sign that they didn’t love you and Nicole. And both Peter and I spent a lot of time with your family, so I’m sure we would have noticed something.” “Maybe….” Ryan tilted his head in thought. “But when I told them about the secret I’d kept for quite a few years, I found out that whatever love they had for me wasn’t enough to forgive me.” “Forgive you? For what?” Daniel couldn’t imagine what Ryan could have possibly done that would have been so awful. Sure, he’d been more interested in drawing and painting than doing his school work, but he’d always gotten passable grades.

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“For being attracted to men.” Ryan blushed and looked down at his lap. “You’re gay?” Daniel almost whooped with joy. Yes! There was hope. “Yes,” Ryan whispered, then took a deep breath and looked back up. His eyes shimmered. “Are you going to hate me now?” “Hate you?” Daniel pulled Ryan’s hands up against his chest. “Ryan, why in God’s name would I hate you just because you’re gay?” “I don’t know.” Ryan frowned. ”I’ve never understood why so many people hate gays. Even my own parents rejected me because of it. They said it was a sin and an abomination and that I would burn in hell if I didn’t give it up. When I responded that I couldn’t give up something that is part of who I am, they flipped and told me to leave. They said they never wanted to see me again, that I was an awful, terrible person.” “Well, I don’t agree with them.” Daniel lifted Ryan’s hands and kissed each one. “For one thing, you’re not an awful person. You were a good brother to Nicole, a good friend to Peter and me. Being gay can’t make you an awful person. It is just about who you feel attracted to, not who you are as a human being.” “You really think so?” Ryan’s eyelashes were moist, but he looked hopeful.

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“Yes, I do.” Daniel smiled. “Especially since I’m gay as well.” “You are?” Ryan’s eyes lit up. “So that’s why you never had a girlfriend?” “That was part of it.” Daniel wasn’t sure that Ryan was ready to hear the other part of the reason. Nor was he ready to declare his love—was he? He was sure about his feelings, but he’d only just found Ryan again. “Oh, wow. I’m so glad you don’t hate me.” Ryan smiled shyly. “I could never hate you. Not for being gay and certainly not for being honest with your parents.” Daniel squeezed Ryan’s hands. “I am disappointed that you didn’t come to Peter or me for help, though. Didn’t you know that we would have helped you, given you a place to stay?” “I wanted to.” Ryan sighed. “But my parents made it clear they wouldn’t allow it. They said they’d make sure anyone who helped me would regret it. They told me to leave town and never return. I didn’t want to risk you getting in trouble as well.” “We would have found a way to make it work,” David growled; he was so angry. How could they have done that to their own child? Chase him away and deny him any support he might have found from friends? That was just too cruel. “I didn’t want to risk understanding with his eyes.

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it.”

Ryan

pleaded

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To Find and to Keep ♥ Serena Yates

Maybe now was not the time to clarify this particular misunderstanding. Daniel would do anything for Ryan, and one of these days he was going to make the younger man believe that. “Will you come home with me? I’ve got a guest room with a bed that has got to be more comfortable than this bench.” Daniel held his breath. What he really wanted was to share his own bed with the man he had never stopped loving, but first they needed to get to know each other again. Make sure there was more than friendship on both sides. “You would let me….” New tears welled up in Ryan’s eyes, but the small smile grew into a slightly bigger one. God, but Daniel wanted to keep that smile on the man’s face. It made him very happy. “Of course you are welcome in my home.” Daniel grinned. “You can even have a shower and something to eat, if you want.” “I would like that.” Ryan withdrew his hands and Daniel felt the loss down to his bones. It took all he had not to grab them back and plant kisses on them. “It’s been a while, and I’d like to at least be clean for Nicole’s wedding tomorrow. Even if she won’t see me, it’ll make me feel better.” “So that’s why you returned?” He’d suspected as much when he’d first realized it was Ryan on the bench. He was so glad he’d followed his gut feeling about needing to be here tonight.

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“Yeah, I didn’t want to miss seeing her start her new life, seeing that she’s happy. I’m hoping it will give me some sort of closure and allow me to move on.” Ryan closed his eyes for a few seconds and then looked straight at him. “I just need to make sure nobody sees me. I don’t think I could stand being rejected again.” Ryan, move on? No; Daniel didn’t think so. He wasn’t going to lose the man a second time. Calm, he needed to sound calm and relaxed if he wanted to avoid scaring Ryan away with the intensity of his feelings. “Nicole has missed you so much.” She had told him and Peter many times over the years. “Why would you think she would reject you?” “She doesn’t hate me?” Ryan’s eyes grew bigger. “But I left her, just vanished one day. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. My parents wouldn’t let me. And I’m sure they’ve poisoned her mind against me over the years.” “I’m sure they tried.” Daniel grinned. “But I guess Nicole had the good sense to listen to her heart instead. She’s never stopped loving you, hoping you’d return one day. She’s always wondered what happened to you. Seeing you would make her truly happy.” “I don’t know.” Ryan looked torn. “What about my parents? They’ll be so angry.” “We’ll see about that tomorrow.” Daniel wanted for Ryan to let Nicole know he was okay, but he was afraid of pushing

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too much. “For now, can we please get out of this cold and go home?”

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III

GO home. With Daniel. Even if it were only for one night and he’d have to return to his real life after Nicole’s wedding, Ryan would take what he was being offered with open arms. At least he’d have some memories to cherish forever. “Ryan?” Daniel’s voice warmed him all the way through. Those deep blue eyes looked at him as if he were the most important person in the world. If only that were true. “Yeah, let’s get out of this cold.” Ryan got up from the bench. Daniel followed, his large frame unfolding until he stood over Ryan’s six feet by a good three inches. He held out his hand, and Ryan couldn’t resist taking it. Daniel’s warm fingers twined with his, forcing a surprised gasp out of him. He looked up into twinkling blue eyes and a smiling face. “Is this okay?” Daniel’s voice had gone all husky. “Okay?” God, this was far better than he’d ever dared hope for. Even though Daniel was gay, that didn’t mean he’d be interested in Ryan. This gesture gave him hope. “It’s great.” Oh, jeez, had he really just blurted that out? He felt a blush rise on his cheeks.

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To Find and to Keep ♥ Serena Yates

“Good.” Daniel pulled him closer to his side, and he could feel the man’s warmth even through the thick woolen coat. He shivered. “Are you cold?” Daniel frowned. “Yeah, a little.” His coat had been stolen during his trip, and he’d been cold ever since. But there was no need to let Daniel know how desperately cold he really was. “God, I’m sorry.” Daniel let go of his hand, and he felt tears burn at the back of his eyes at the loss of contact. “I should have thought….” Daniel opened his coat, slipped out of it and had Ryan bundled into it before he could protest. Daniel’s dark blue sweater that revealed a strongly muscled chest looked nice and warm, but still. The man wasn’t exactly used to living on the street. “Daniel, no, you’ll be cold.” Ryan tried shrugging off the coat, but Daniel had his arm around his shoulders, pressing him to his side before he could move an inch. “I’ll be fine.” Daniel pressed him even closer. “You look like you need it more than I do. And anyway, my car’s parked really close by.” “O-okay.” Ryan cuddled deeper into the warm coat, an arousing mix of a woodsy cologne and Daniel’s scent caressing his nose. “If you’re sure.”

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“Yeah.” Daniel grinned and started walking them along the sidewalk. “I’m sure.” A few minutes later Daniel stopped next to a silver sports car, dug for the key in his front pocket, and thumbed the doors open. He stepped away from Ryan and opened the passenger door, holding it for him while he got in, and closed it with a soft thump once he was seated. Ryan buckled himself in while watching the other man walk around the car quickly, the well-defined muscles in his thighs stretching the dark material of his pants. God, the man was built all over. He wanted to touch and caress him, feel Daniel’s strong arms around him, make all the loneliness and misery go away. Daniel got in, started the car, and switched on the heater with fast, sure movements. “There, that should help you warm up.” Daniel smiled at him before returning his gaze to the road, pulling into the deserted street, and accelerating. There was a comfortable silence as they drove. Ryan was too tired to speak. The sudden warmth made him feel drowsy and content. The narrow streets of the city center soon gave way to the broader ones of the suburbs. The houses were bigger here, and there was a feeling of space and freedom. Finally Daniel turned into a quiet road lined by very old trees, most houses standing so far back from the street that they were barely visible in the darkness. He pulled into a driveway lined by elder trees and stopped in front of a double

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garage next to a huge two-story Victorian villa. Large bay windows dominated the front, white window frames setting them off against the dark blue walls. Low laurel bushes surrounded the house all the way around. Daniel pulled a remote from the glove compartment and opened the garage door, drove the car inside, and cut the engine. “Home sweet home.” He got out of the car and opened Ryan’s door for him almost before Ryan had unbuckled himself. Taking his hand, Daniel helped Ryan to his feet and led him to the door connecting the garage to a small utility room containing a washer, dryer, and a large freezer. Daniel pulled him along into the kitchen, switching on lights as he went. God, it was nice and warm in here. Dark walnut cupboards and pale granite work surfaces made it look solid, and the stainless steel appliances were modern and so clean they gleamed in the soft light from numerous spots in the ceiling. A small wooden table and two chairs sat in a bay to their right, creating an intimate eating space. Ryan stopped and stared. Embarrassingly his stomach chose that moment to signal its emptiness. The meal at the soup kitchen hadn’t been very filling to begin with, and he hadn’t even finished it, he’d been so nervous. “I guess you’d like something to eat?” Daniel turned and grinned at him. “Will a sandwich be enough to tide you over till tomorrow?”

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“Yes, please.” Ryan blushed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry to bother you, I’m just so hungry.” “Hey, don’t apologize.” Daniel pulled him closer, turning him so they were facing each other. “I can’t imagine lots of what you’ve been through. I wish I could make all your pain go away, but I don’t know how yet. The least I can do is feed you and offer you a place to stay.” “Daniel….” Ryan looked up at smiling eyes that had turned dark with emotion. He wanted to lean into the strength that was Daniel and never move again. Imagining those strong arms around him, those lips on his… but he was filthy, and even though all the signals were there, he still couldn’t imagine Daniel really being interested in him that way. Their lips were only inches apart, and he felt Daniel’s warm breath caress his face. And then Daniel tilted his head forward and their lips touched for the first time. The kiss only lasted seconds before Daniel pulled back again, but Ryan felt its effects all over. His lips tingled, and for the first time in months he grew hard. “Let me make a sandwich for you first, and then you can take a shower and get some sleep.” Daniel stepped back and the sudden lack of his warm touch crushed Ryan. “Just put the coat on the sofa in the living room through there and have a seat. I’ll give you a full tour of the house later.”

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“Okay.” Ryan dropped his head, dejected. He should be grateful for the hospitality Daniel offered instead of wanting more of the man’s touch. Daniel had already turned around and was pulling sandwich fixings and milk from the fridge, adding bread as he went and put it all on the small table. Ryan slipped out of the coat, regretting the loss of the warmth and Daniel’s scent surrounding him, and put it over the leather sofa in the next room. It was large, two walls covered in book shelves from floor to ceiling. A black leather sofa, two easy chairs, and a marble coffee table formed the center of the room. A huge flat-screen TV dominated the third wall, and the fourth consisted of windows, the drawn curtains preventing a view outside. Returning to the kitchen, he sat down and devoured two of the giant turkey and lettuce sandwiches Daniel had made, chasing them down with two large glasses of milk. He was so focused on his food that he didn’t even look up until he was done. When he did, he saw Daniel smile at him, a half-empty glass of water in his hand. Suddenly he was so tired he could hardly keep his eyes open. He blinked slowly, trying to focus. “Thank you.” Ryan sighed. “That was the best food I’ve had in a long time.” “You’re welcome.” Daniel got up and offered his hand again. “Let me show you to the guest room. Looking at how

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tired you are, maybe the full tour of the house can wait until tomorrow?” He just nodded and followed the man through the second door into a hallway, up the stairs and into a bedroom toward the end of the hallway. A four-poster bed covered in a cream-colored bedspread with deep burgundy accents dominated the room. Forest green carpet and curtains complemented the cream-colored walls and gave the room a warm feeling. A second door led to a bathroom with marble tiles and a shower. God, he was exhausted. He would have liked to just fall onto the bed and go straight to sleep. But the shower looked too tempting. “Are you going to be okay?” Daniel stepped back and pointed toward the bathroom. “Towels and everything else you might need are in there. Just leave your clothes outside the door; I’ll put them in the washer for you. I’ll give you some of my sweats and a T-shirt for now, and we’ll see about more clothes for you tomorrow morning.” “I don’t know how to thank you.” Ryan blushed again. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m sorry I’m such bad company, I’m just so tired….” “Hey, don’t worry. I’m happy I can help. We’ll see about everything else once you’ve had some sleep.” Daniel gave him a much too brief hug and walked out the door, quietly closing it behind him.

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IV

DANIEL stood in front of the guest room door, bronze knob in his right hand, and took a deep breath. He had hardly slept all night. He’d been very conscious that the man he was quickly falling even more in love with than before was in the next room, snuggled into a warm duvet. He’d wanted him in his own bed, curled up against his body, not in a different room. He’d wanted to hold him in his arms and protect him. He just wasn’t sure that was what Ryan wanted. Even if he did, which he fervently hoped for, moving too fast would surely unnerve Ryan. Ryan seemed to be so fragile and needy, very different from the proud, self-confident, and artistically talented young man he’d been only four years ago. Daniel snorted at himself. Ryan’s life couldn’t have been an easy one. He’d been mercilessly rejected by his parents. Being called an awful person must have been especially tough for a sensitive soul like Ryan. But on top of that emotional trauma, it looked like he’d had to deal with the physical reality of being on his own without a roof over his head or any real means to support himself. No wonder he seemed to be exhausted and weak.

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Daniel sighed. What was he going to do? How was he going to balance Ryan’s need to recover against his own raging desire to be close to the younger man? And not just as a friend, but as a lover and partner? This relationship was too important to mess it up. He wanted Ryan in his life—permanently. Four years ago he’d been attracted to the boy as he grew into a young man, moving from feelings of friendship to the beginnings of more. Now he wanted everything. He’d just have to rein in his yearning and be patient. He finally turned the knob and slowly pushed the door open. Bright late morning sunshine came in through the window and lit up the room. Ryan must have been too tired to draw the curtains last night. Now he lay on his stomach, arms up and buried under the pillow, his head turned away from the door. His sleep-tousled blond hair was long enough to fall onto the burgundy pillowcase that was closer to the window. Daniel closed the door behind him and took a step toward the bed. He’d need to wake him in a moment so they could get ready for the afternoon wedding, but there was time for him to look his fill first. The duvet had slid down far enough so Ryan’s T-shirt-covered shoulders and upper back were visible. As Daniel stepped right up to the edge of the bed he could hear quiet little snuffles. That was just too cute. Before he knew what he was doing, he sat down on the empty half of the double bed and reached for the other man.

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Bending down and holding his weight on his right arm, he slid his left hand into the tempting mass of hair and softly stroked Ryan’s head. A deep breath and a soft moan were his only answer. He grinned. Apparently Ryan wasn’t quite ready to wake up. Not a problem. He continued caressing the younger man’s head, eventually sliding down his nape to stroke first his shoulders, then his back. His warm sleep scent reached Daniel’s nose and sent tendrils of desire straight to his tightening groin. Ryan moaned again, turned his head toward him and slowly opened his beautiful green eyes. His gaze was relaxed and happy at first, and then his eyes widened, and he tried to pull away. But he didn’t try hard enough for Daniel to have to let go. “Daniel?” Ryan’s head came up. He took a quick look around the room and blinked. “It’s not a dream?” “No, Ryan.” Daniel kept his hand where it was between Ryan’s shoulder blades, still slowly stroking. “It’s not a dream; you’re really here.” “Wow.” Ryan lay back on the pillow and turned so he was on his side, facing Daniel. His hand came up slowly, and he cupped Daniel’s jaw. “I like it here.” Daniel felt tingles all over his body from the careful touch. What this man did to him. He wanted to kiss him in the worst way, but he didn’t want to take advantage.

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“I’m glad you like my home.” up to Ryan’s nape, cradling the hand. He looked into the emerald warmth and desire there. Maybe a

Daniel slid his hand back other man’s head in his eyes and saw nothing but brief kiss would be okay?

He bent down, aiming for Ryan’s forehead, but the younger man moved his head so that their lips met instead. Warm, soft lips that made him shiver with desire. He moaned and pulled back before he lost himself. “I—I’m sorry.” Tears welled in Ryan’s eyes, making them even brighter. “I should have realized you don’t want me. It’s just—I’ve wanted….” Ryan looked down and tried to pull away again, but Daniel held on. “No! Don’t hide from me, Ryan.” God, he was doing everything wrong. He wanted Ryan more than anything. Maybe that feeling was mutual after all? “Ryan, look at me. Please.” He wanted eye contact so badly. Slowly the younger man looked up, hope filling his beautiful eyes. “Ryan, sweetheart, I do want you.” Daniel moved his hand and wiped away the tears with his thumb. “I care for you deeply. It almost killed me when you left. And when I couldn’t find you I was devastated.” “You want me? You c-care for me, even after all these years? You tried to find me?” Ryan’s eyes were wide, disbelieving.

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“Yes, damn it.” Why was that so difficult for Ryan to understand? Had his self-confidence taken such a severe blow? “But you’d done such a good disappearing act that I never even got close. My only hope was that you’d find out about Nicole’s wedding and make your way back here.” “You….” Ryan closed his eyes. When he looked back at Daniel he was smiling. “Daniel, that is a dream come true.” “It is?” Daniel’s eyebrows rose. “You have no idea.” Ryan looked truly happy for the first time since he’d seen him sitting on that bench last night. “I had a crush on you for the longest time. I knew that most likely all you’d ever want from me was friendship, but that meant a lot to me. And then that last summer after my eighteenth birthday when we started spending more time together, I began to hope that there might be more.” “You really had a crush on me?” Daniel had always suspected his brother Peter was exaggerating. It sounded like he’d been right after all. “Yeah.” Ryan blushed. “Embarrassing, huh?” “No, not embarrassing at all.” Daniel slid down and pulled Ryan against him, sliding his right arm under the other man’s head. The duvet was still between their bodies and that saved him from exposing exactly how turned on he was. “That’s easy for you to say.” A mischievous twinkle showed in Ryan’s green eyes.

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“And what about now?” Daniel held his breath. “Now?” Ryan looked straight at him, suddenly serious. “It’s not just a crush anymore, Daniel. Even though it’s been four years, my feelings for you have not gone away. They’ve only gotten stronger.”

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V

RYAN held his breath in shock. What had he just done? Without thinking, he had as much as admitted he loved Daniel. Said it out loud. His heart was hammering in his chest, and he started sweating. Daniel’s kindness must have relaxed him enough to open up. The man was even more wonderful than Ryan remembered. And he had said that he wanted Ryan, even cared for him. He’d called him sweetheart. Still, blurting out his feelings like that was not something Ryan would normally have felt comfortable with. “Thank God!” Daniel was radiant as he bent down to kiss Ryan. Ryan had to close his eyes with the intensity of the feelings that were rushing through him as Daniel’s lips pressed against his. A soft tongue licked across his mouth, asking for entrance, and he gladly opened himself to Daniel’s searching caresses. Tingles traveled straight from his mouth to his groin, and he grew hard in seconds. He had never been kissed like this before. Hesitantly he moved to meet Daniel’s demand for contact. Something like an electric shock went through him when their tongues touched for the first time. Warm and

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insistent, yet slow and tender, Daniel’s tongue danced with his as the man’s other arm came around his waist. Bodies pressed tightly together, in too much need to do anything about the obstruction formed by the annoying duvet between their heated bodies, they explored each others’ mouths until they had to come up for air. Panting with desire, Ryan pulled back to look into blue eyes gone dark with lust. Daniel’s hair was mussed, and the other man was breathing deeply. “Ryan, God, what you do to me.” Daniel took another deep breath and lifted his head. “I wish we had time for this, but we need to get ready for the wedding.” “Right.” Ryan tensed. The wedding. How could he have forgotten about the reason he’d come back to Grand Rapids in the first place? All the fear and unease about the trouble he might get himself into rushed back into his mind. “Ryan?” Daniel lifted his hand from his waist and cupped his cheek. “You still want to go, right?” “Of course I want to go. It’s Nicole’s big day. I’ll just need to make sure nobody sees me.” That would ruin everything. “Yeah, well….” Daniel frowned. “I’ve been thinking about that. Nicole loves you and misses you so much. Don’t you think it would make her even happier if she knew you were there?”

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“But my parents….” Ryan started shaking. Facing his parents after what they’d said to him was not something he wanted to do. Ever. “Shhh; no buts.” Daniel pulled him against his wellmuscled chest and stroked his head, making him feel safe. “We can deal with your parents. I’m sure they won’t want to make a scene in public, as concerned as they are about their image. And once the wedding is over, well, we’ll just have to see how tough they are when they face both their children together.” “You really think they’ll behave?” That would take care of his most urgent concern. He only needed to get through the wedding without ruining the day for Nicole. He would leave after that to avoid further trouble. “I truly think they don’t want others to see them become emotional.” Daniel pulled back to make eye contact. “They never told anyone they kicked you out; they said you ran away. So they’ll have to pretend to be happy you’re back.” “I guess you’re right.” God, Daniel made it sound so easy. “And I’ll leave after the wedding, so they won’t be able to hurt me. Or you.” “I don’t….” Something like pain or fear flared up in Daniel’s eyes, and his arms tightened, pulling Ryan close again. “Sweetheart, I don’t want you to leave after the wedding. Please promise me you won’t run again? I don’t care about what your parents might or might not do. It’s not

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like they can harm me. I really want to spend some time with you now that I’ve found you again.” “I guess a few more days will be okay.” It wasn’t like Ryan had anything to rush back to in Sudbury, Canada. His last temporary job had ended a month ago, and he could make and sell his drawings anywhere. And then there was the thought of spending time with Daniel. How could he even think of turning that offer down? “Yes!” Daniel kissed him deeply, making him feel all warm and tingly again. His eyes were moist when he pulled away, but there was a big smile on his beautiful face.

A

FEW hours later Ryan sat on the park bench again, trying

to catch his mental breath. This time, he was not trying to hide. Well, not much, anyway. He was wearing a completely new outfit, including underwear, socks, and shoes. All bought on Daniel’s insistence in a mad rush through a shopping mall on their way to the church. The man was like a force of nature when he wanted to get something done. Not that Ryan had resisted too much; he didn’t really want to go to the wedding dressed like a homeless person. This time, he also wasn’t alone. Daniel, looking more than handsome in his tux, sat next to him. Holding his hand, giving quiet, steady support. Making him feel like he could actually get through this reunion with his sister.

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“You okay, sweetheart?” Daniel’s quiet words were like a balm for his frazzled nerves. “No.” Ryan shook his head. Except for being called sweetheart by this gorgeous man. That part was great. “Not really.” “But you will be.” Daniel lifted his hand and kissed it. “Yeah, Nicole’s happiness is worth it.” Ryan took a deep breath. “Thanks for being here with me.” “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Daniel smiled. “We’ll get through this together. And don’t forget that Nicole and Peter are on our side as well.” “But they’ll be kind of busy getting married, right?” Ryan smiled back; there was no resisting Daniel’s optimism. “Yes, they will be. But you being here will make it a truly magical day for them, so I’m sure they’ll want to include you as well.” Daniel checked his watch. “Peter should get here any minute. Why don’t we go inside? I’m supposed to be there anyway, being best man and all.” They walked over to the modern church building, the white steeple gleaming in the afternoon sunshine. They entered via a side entrance. Daniel explained that two of the rooms normally used for social functions had been set aside for use by the groom’s and bride’s families. They had barely sat down on the uncomfortable plastic chairs when the door opened and Peter walked in, looking

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more elegant than ever in his tux. When he saw Ryan he stopped in his tracks, his eyes widening and his jaw dropping. “Ryan?” Peter moved toward him, a broad grin splitting his rugged face. “You’re here? Man, am I glad you’re okay.” Ryan got up, and they embraced. He couldn’t speak past the huge lump in his throat. His friend looked exactly the same as he remembered. His wavy black hair was cut short, his blue eyes were twinkling, and his smiling lips revealed perfect white teeth. When they pulled back to look at each other they both had slightly misty eyes. “Nicole will be over the moon.” Peter stepped back. “Well done for coming back today. She’s missed you a lot, same as me, but especially for the wedding. She kept saying how she wished you’d be here for it. Made sure we announced it everywhere, both online and offline, so you might see it if you were looking for us.” “I’ve missed her too. And her strategy definitely worked. I caught your announcement on MySpace.” Ryan swallowed. “You don’t think she’ll be upset?” “Upset?” Peter’s eyebrows rose. “Why would she be upset? She knows you must have had a serious reason for vanishing like that. We’ve both wondered and worried about you, but there’ll be time for all that later. Let’s just focus on celebrating today, and you can tell us all about it when we’re done here.”

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“Okay.” Ryan was suddenly shaking with relief. Peter had been as open as ever and didn’t seem to harbor any resentment or bad feelings. He didn’t know the whole story yet, but his initial reaction gave Ryan hope. “You want to go and see Nicole before the ceremony starts?” Daniel’s warm baritone interrupted his thoughts. “You think I should?” Ryan turned around to look at Daniel. “It might be better if you two had a few moments to yourselves before facing everyone else.” Daniel shrugged. “Yeah, good point, brother.” Peter grinned. “Nicole is bound to be more emotional about this than I am and might want a bit of privacy. The bridal room is right across the corridor, Ryan. Should be easy to find.” “Hold on, let me go in first and get the other women to leave. I’ll send them on an errand checking the church decorations or something,” Daniel said. “We don’t really want our mothers and Sarah, her bridesmaid, to be witness to this, do we?” Ryan nodded, grateful for Daniel’s thoughtfulness. He was far too nervous for logic like that.

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VI

WHEN Ryan entered the bridal room his mind went blank. Nicole looked beautiful in a simple white dress with white lace trim. Her long blonde hair flowed over her back, held away from her heart-shaped face by a tiara to which her short veil was attached. It was still turned up, so Ryan was able to look straight into her hazel eyes when she turned around to see who had entered. “Ryan?” Nicole’s voice was shaky, and her eyes filled with tears. He was next to her chair in two steps and had his arms around her faster than he’d thought possible. Her arms came up around him, and they held onto each other as if they never wanted to let go again. “Nicole, oh God, I’ve missed you so much,” Ryan breathed a deep sigh of relief. ”I’ve missed you too. Are you okay? Will you stay?” Nicole moved back and wiped tears from her face with one hand, gripping his hand with the other. “I’m okay now.” Ryan wasn’t sure how much to tell her. “And I’ll definitely stay for the wedding, if you want me to. I just hope there won’t be too much trouble from our parents.”

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“I want you to stay forever, not just for the wedding. And as for our parents….” She snorted. “I should think they’d be happy that you’re back. If their story of your running away is true, anyway.” “You don’t think they told you the truth about why I left?” Ryan held his breath. It would make things so much easier if she didn’t believe them. “When have they ever told the truth about anything?” Nicole took some tissues from her handbag and blew her nose. She looked angry now. “They manipulated us. Everything was always about being the picture perfect family. They liked me, my perfect academic record and all, but where was their support for my environmental protection projects? And don’t let me get started on how badly they treated you for not joining the appropriate sports teams and for bringing home what they thought were suboptimal grades. Never mind what they thought of you wanting to go to art school!” “You’re right. I didn’t really run away.” Ryan took a deep breath. Was this really the right time to tell her everything? “I’m sure you didn’t.” Nicole smiled. “I’ve always wondered; did they kick you out because you told them that you loved Daniel?” “W-what?” Ryan’s knees almost buckled. “You did, didn’t you?” Nicole sighed.

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“How… how did you know?” Ryan grabbed the chair next to Nicole’s and sat down heavily. “It wasn’t really difficult for me to notice.“ Nicole took his hand. “Ryan, you’re my twin. I’ve known you all my life. Of course I noticed how you looked at Daniel, how much time you spent with him. It was sort of the same as for me and Peter, wasn’t it?” “You’re certainly more observant than I gave you credit for.” Ryan started breathing again. “You don’t hate me?” “What? Why would I hate you?” Nicole looked confused. “What, just because you’re gay?” “Isn’t that how most people react?” Ryan just stared at her. There wasn’t even a trace of anger or disgust in her reaction. “Well, brother of mine, you should know by now that I’m not most people.” Nicole grinned mischievously. “But we’ll leave the rest of that discussion for later. I want to hear everything. Where you went and what you’ve been up to. Do you need a place to stay?” “No.” Ryan blushed. “Aha! I knew it!” Nicole jumped off her chair and embraced him again. “Knew … knew what?” Ryan was still trying to digest her easy acceptance of his being gay.

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“You’re staying with Daniel, aren’t you?” Nicole kissed him on the cheek and sat back down, a huge grin on her beautiful face. “That explains why he had this happy glint in his eyes when he came in here earlier to chase away all the other women.” “Yes, I’m staying with Daniel.” Ryan couldn’t stop his own grin from almost splitting his face. “He found me here last night. Well, not here exactly—on the park bench outside from where I’d planned to watch. And he insisted I go home with him. I can’t believe you figured all that out.” “I just know you, Ryan. And I know Daniel. He’s been so unhappy since you left, it was really obvious to me that he missed you.” Nicole sighed. “There’s just so much to catch up on. I want to hear absolutely everything that’s been going on in your life. But I do need to get ready for the ceremony, so I’m afraid we’ll have to do that later. I almost don’t want to go on my honeymoon so I can spend some time with you.” Ryan got up and kissed her on the forehead. “We’ll get together to talk, don’t worry.” He might actually stay. All the support he’d received so far from the people who were most important to him made him cautiously optimistic about the future. “And don’t even think about not going on your honeymoon! I’ll make sure I’m still here when you get back. So go get ready, and I’ll see you when you walk down the aisle.” Nicole smiled another radiant smile at him as he left, pulling the door closed behind him. When he turned around,

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he almost collided with Daniel, who was looking at him expectantly. “Everything okay?” Daniel took his hand and walked them to a bench next to the church entrance to their left. “More than okay!” Ryan was just so happy he could burst. “You were right, you know. She doesn’t hate me at all. In fact, she’d even guessed why I’d left.” “She had?” Daniel’s eyebrows rose as they sat down. “Yeah, apparently I wasn’t as successful at hiding my crush from her as I thought.” Ryan chuckled. “She always was the more perceptive of the two of us. But what really surprised me was her easy acceptance of it.” “Maybe that shouldn’t really surprise you.” Daniel leaned back and pulled Ryan close to his side, putting an arm around his shoulder. “She is, after all, your twin sister and has always loved you.” “I guess so. But still….” Ryan snuggled into Daniel, enjoying the closeness. “It does feel a little like magic. Everything so far has gone so well for me.” “Well, wedding days do have their own magic, or so they say.” Daniel smiled and pulled him even closer. “So far I’d say this one has been pretty powerful. Would you like a little more of it?” “There’s more?” Ryan turned his head so he could see Daniel’s face better.

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“If you want it,” Daniel smiled. “Peter told me how he wished that you would stand with him when he takes his vows. He’s so happy that you’re back, and he wants the world to know how proud he is to be your friend.” “He… he wants me to… but you’re his best man!” Ryan wouldn’t take that away from Daniel for anything. “I am. But Peter also said that two best men would be better than one, especially when there really are two ‘best men’ in his life.” Daniel grinned. “I can’t say I disagree with him, and I told him so too.” “I… I guess.” Ryan was floored. It would make his presence so much more noticeable. God, what would his parents do? What he really wanted was some time to think about it. But there wasn’t any, was there? “Would you really be okay with this?” “I really would be.” Daniel kissed him, just the briefest touch of lips. “In fact, I would love it. I bet you that Nicole would too.” “She would, wouldn’t she?” Ryan laughed. “She did tell me just now that she wasn’t like other people. Having a groom with two best men is about as unlike other people as you can get, isn’t it?” Daniel just nodded. “Okay, I think you’ve convinced me.” Ryan took a deep breath. “What do I need to do? I have no idea how this all

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works. I’ve never even been to a wedding in any sort of ‘official’ capacity….” “Don’t panic. Just follow my lead; I’ll be right beside you.” Daniel hugged him and brought his mouth close to his ear. “And that’s exactly where I want to be.” Oh God. To hear those words from Daniel just made him melt into the strong arms and hold on for dear life. Maybe his dreams were about to come true, and there was a future here? Daniel certainly gave all the right signals. All he needed to do now was get through the confrontation with his parents. His stomach clenched with fear. Once he’d done that, he could get back to seeing if there really was a future with Daniel.

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VII

DANIEL followed Peter into the church, Ryan at his side. He only wished they were walking down the aisle together. Not in Michigan, though, not anytime soon. But there was always Canada…. They stopped to the right of the raised altar, to the left of the priest. The man stood a step above them and was dressed in full regalia. He greeted them in a low voice. His brows went up in surprise when Peter introduced Ryan as his other best man. He recovered quickly though and found a friendly smile for all of them before returning his attention to the Bible he was holding. Sarah was standing across from them in a pale pink bridesmaid’s dress, a small bouquet of pink and white roses in her hands. There were at least two hundred people already seated in pews decorated with lilies and pale pink roses. Daniel made eye contact with his own parents and smiled at them. His father looked at Ryan, then back at him, and winked. His mother just smiled. Ryan took a deep breath and from the corner of his eye Daniel saw him turn his head to look over to the other side of the church where Nicole’s family and friends would be sitting. He knew the moment Ryan had found his parents.

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The younger man stopped breathing, and his face turned paler than a sheet. Daniel reached for his hand and took his icy fingers into a protective grasp before turning his head to follow Ryan’s gaze across the aisle. There, in the front row, two sets of cold eyes filled with anger and disgust were staring daggers at Ryan. Daniel had never seen such hatred in anyone’s eyes. Mr. and Mrs. Johnston were trying hard to keep smiling for appearance’s sake. But Mrs. Johnston had lines of stress around her squinting eyes and small beads of sweat had appeared on Mr. Johnston’s forehead. Both looked like they were about to jump up and physically attack Ryan. Propriety was probably all that held them back. He had hoped that the magic of Nicole’s wedding day would overcome their feelings, but he had been wrong. He could feel Ryan shaking next to him and squeezed his hand for support. A wave of anger toward those prejudiced people nearly overwhelmed him the longer they kept staring at Ryan. Church or no church, if they didn’t stop throwing hate-filled glances at their son right now, Daniel was going to personally smite them. The whole situation did not bode well for the reception. He would have to try to help Ryan avoid running into them again. At the very least he would not leave the younger man’s side.

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Just then the first slow notes of Pachelbel’s “Canon in D” filled the church. Everyone rose from their seats and looked toward the front entrance. Nicole, a vision in white in her simple sheath dress, a bouquet of pale pink roses, and short veil stood there alone, proud and smiling. Daniel grinned inwardly when he remembered Peter telling him about the major fight she’d had with her parents about this. She had told them point-blank that she hadn’t felt supported by them when growing up, so she wasn’t going to let her father give her away. She hadn’t let them pay for the wedding, either. She was her own person and was going to join Peter unencumbered by her past. “Good for her.” Ryan’s voice was low but full of love and admiration. Daniel turned toward him and saw a small smile in the still too-pale face. God, but Ryan was even more handsome when he smiled. He’d noticed the priest’s slight frown at their holding hands, but he just couldn’t get himself to let go of the younger man’s hand. Ryan was still shaking with emotion and had made no move away from him. Never mind convention then. As the music sped up, Nicole made her way down the aisle. Her eyes never wavered from Peter’s gaze until she reached the front and joined Sarah on the priest’s right-hand side. Nicole stood facing her soon-to-be husband, radiant with joy. Peter straightened and took her hand in his before they both turned toward the priest.

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Everyone sat down. The priest spoke the traditional words of welcome followed by a short prayer and an explanation of the meaning of marriage. Peter’s and Nicole’s “I will” in answer to the declarations were loud and clear. A hymn preceded the speaking of the actual marriage vows themselves. As she spoke her vows, a tear rolled down Nicole’s cheek, and Ryan gripped Daniel’s hand more strongly. Daniel was close to tears himself. He was so happy for Peter and Nicole to be able to finally make this commitment to each other publicly. Feeling how intensely happy it made them just meant that he was going to have to ask Ryan to marry him sooner rather than later. Now that he had finally found him again he was going to keep him—officially! Peter’s voice was steady as he spoke his vows. Then the priest asked Daniel for the rings, and he pulled Peter’s from his pocket. Ryan briefly let go of his hand to get Nicole’s from his but slid it back into Daniel’s welcoming grip immediately afterward. Both rings were blessed by the priest before Peter put Nicole’s wedding band on her ring finger, speaking the traditional words. Nicole spoke her words of promise and slipped the second ring on Peter’s finger. Bride and groom sighed with relief when the priest pronounced them husband and wife. The kiss that followed was long and very tender. When the newlyweds broke for air, Nicole stepped toward Ryan and embraced him.

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“Thank you for being here for me.” She kissed him on the cheek and smiled. “It means a lot to me that you stood up here with us.” “I am so happy to be here.” Ryan kissed her on the forehead. “Thanks for letting me be part of this.” Daniel embraced Peter, congratulating him on finally making an honest woman of Nicole. Peter just grinned. The music started up and Peter took Nicole’s hand to lead the way back outside the church to receive everyone’s congratulations. Daniel motioned for Sarah to go next and took Ryan’s hand so they could make up the next part of the procession. As they passed the first pew Mr. and Mrs. Johnston got up. They were smiling as they embraced first the bridal pair, then Ryan. They didn’t say anything, and their eyes were pinched, their glares anything but friendly. Daniel’s parents were next, embracing first Peter, then Nicole. When they turned to Ryan there was true happiness in their eyes. “It’s good to have you back, son.” Daniel’s father grinned and slapped Ryan on the back. He winked at Daniel again, making him wonder how much he suspected. “Welcome home, Ryan.” Daniel’s mother was no less welcoming.

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“Thank you Mrs. Miller, Mr. Miller.” Ryan’s eyes were big and suspiciously misty looking. Daniel squeezed his hand and received a dazzling smile from the younger man. After this short interruption the procession got going again. Daniel didn’t much like the fact that Ryan’s parents were behind them instead of his own, but there was nothing to be done now. Seconds later his worst fears became reality. “How dare you show up here!” Mr. Johnston’s voice coming from right behind them was low enough that only Ryan would hear. “You have no right to stand up there and pretend to be someone important.” Ryan flinched and gripped Daniel’s hand more strongly. “I wasn’t pretending to be anything, father.” Ryan spoke slowly, clearly trying to keep it together. “I am here for my twin sister Nicole.” “Tsss.” The hiss coming from Mrs. Johnston sounded like a snake’s. “Nicole has no brother; you know that.” Ryan’s steps faltered at so much hatred coming from his own parents, but he pulled himself together and kept walking toward the exit. Daniel wanted to turn around and tell these people to shut up, but interfering probably wouldn’t help. “Maybe you think that Nicole has no brother,” Ryan took a deep calming breath. “She has a different opinion, and you can no longer make her do what you want.”

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They had reached the exit. Peter and Nicole turned at the top of the church steps so people could pass them easily. Sarah stood behind Nicole. Daniel pulled Ryan behind Peter, putting himself between the pale young man and his horrible parents. “This isn’t over! Not by a long shot.” Mr. Johnston glared at Ryan and then at their clasped hands and finally at Daniel. “You can’t just walk in here and flaunt your disgusting lifestyle in front of everyone. We will not allow this sort of abomination in our lives.”

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VIII

RYAN sat in the limo on the way to the Community Centre on Lakeside Drive where the reception was going to be held. Daniel sat next to him, still holding his hand. It felt so good to have this physical connection. Sarah was on his other side, and Nicole and Peter sat opposite them. He shook with suppressed anger. He’d barely held it together during the seemingly endless congratulations while everybody filed out of the church. His father’s last words still rang in his ears. He’d known that his parents had disowned him, told him they no longer had a son four years ago. But to hear them say it again with so much venom in their voices, and on such a special day, was just too much. And then they’d threatened Daniel. “I’ve had enough.” God, had he said that out loud? “I can’t blame you.” Daniel stroked his palm with his thumb. “That was far more vicious than I ever thought they’d be in public.” “We heard what they said.” Nicole was snuggled against Peter. “I’ve always wondered about them, but hearing this was the last straw.”

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“I just don’t know what to do.” Ryan was ready to run but for the first time in his life he didn’t think it was going to help. “I mean, it’s obvious that they still really, really hate me, so that hasn’t changed. But if I leave again, it sort of feels like I’ve given in, you know? That I agree with them that I have to hide who I am.” “You’re right. And I don’t want you to hide who you are.” Nicole sat up straight, eyes flashing. “I’m proud of you. And I certainly don’t want you to leave again.” “I agree with Nicole.” Daniel slid an arm around his waist. “I may not yet have come out officially, but I certainly don’t intend to hide the fact that I’m gay. And I most certainly don’t want you to leave again.” “Hear, hear.” Peter smiled and looked at Ryan. “You bring out the best in my big brother. My wife has missed you horribly and would probably kill me if I let you go. And personally, I could do with my best friend back in my life. The fact that you’re gay is totally irrelevant. Well, to me. Probably less so to Daniel….” Daniel chuckled and pulled him even closer to his warm side. He could just melt into the man, he was so wonderful. “But they threatened all of you, not just me.” Ryan didn’t want to be responsible for ruining their lives. “So?” Nicole’s eyebrows rose. “What exactly do you think they can do to us?” Peter frowned. “They may have held the purse strings in the past,

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but we’re all independent now. I’ve got a good job in a company far too large for Mr. Johnston to take on. Nicole will be working as a consultant for the Nature Conservatory, which doesn’t care about the politics of society. And Daniel….” “Hasn’t had time to talk about what he does for a living yet.” Daniel grinned and winked at him. God, he was gorgeous. “Suffice it to say that I have nothing to fear from Mr. and Mrs. Johnston, neither professionally nor socially.” “What have you guys been talking about, then?” Peter laughed. Nicole poked him in the ribs, but she was laughing too. “Never mind, none of my business.” Peter turned serious again. “So you see, Ryan, there’s no reason for any of us to feel intimidated by empty threats anymore.” “Wow, thanks. I really appreciate your support.” Ryan suppressed the tears that wanted to escape from his burning eyes. He took a deep breath. “So I guess I stand up to them and hope for the best?” “We’ll all stand up to them.” Nicole leaned over and squeezed his knee before snuggling back into Peter’s embrace. “You’re not alone anymore.” “And you never should have been alone in the first place.” Daniel’s deep voice was like a caress for his soul, complementing the physical one of Daniel’s hand on his hip. “I just wish I had known about what was going on four years

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ago. I would have never let you go. But now that I’ve found you again, I intend to keep you.” “You do?” Ryan smiled up at the man he loved. “I like the sound of that.” “So do I.” Daniel’s eyes shone with love as he moved to kiss him full on the lips. Even that brief touch made him tingle all over his body. It felt like a promise for more to come. He couldn’t wait.

A

FEW hours later Ryan was snuggled into Daniel’s side,

much like Nicole had been with Peter on their way to the reception. The limo was driving them back to Daniel’s home. He was tired from all the dancing but happier than ever before. There had been a brief confrontation with his parents when the bridal party had arrived at the function room. His parents had repeated their insults and threats, and he had told them he wasn’t afraid of them anymore. Daniel had stood by him, providing silent support. And when they hadn’t stopped being vicious, Nicole and Peter had asked security to remove them from the venue. The shock and disbelief on their faces had been very satisfying.

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Having the three people he cared about most in the world united in supporting him, though, had been far more important to Ryan. He sighed. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” Daniel turned toward him with a slight frown. “I love it when you call me that.” Ryan reached up and cupped Daniel’s jaw, loving the feel of the slight stubble there. “You do?” Daniel grinned, leaning into the caress. “Oh, yes, I do.” Ryan slid his hand along Daniel’s cheek and brushed his temple with his thumb. “Did you really mean it when you said that you wanted to keep me? I mean, last night you told me you didn’t want me to run again, to stay after the wedding. But ‘keeping me’ is something quite different, isn’t it?” There, he’d asked the question that had been burning in his mind all evening. He was still afraid of the answer not being what he wanted it to be even though Daniel had done nothing to indicate less than total commitment. But he just had to know for sure before making the decision to stay. “Oh, Ryan. This is not at all how I had planned this, but….” Daniel took his hand away from his face and kissed it. He moved his other arm away from Ryan’s middle and slid to the floor of the limo.

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On one knee, holding both Ryan’s hands in his warm grasp, Daniel looked up at him and smiled. There were tears in his eyes. “Ryan, you are the love of my life. When I lost you four years ago part of my soul went with you. Even though I had never said anything because I thought you were too young, I knew even then that I loved you. Finding you again has done more than return the missing part of my soul to me. It has given me hope for the future, because in you I have found my soul mate. You are brave and compassionate, a loving brother, and great friend. You are the man I want to share my life with.” Daniel pulled a small black box from his pants pocket. He opened it and took a simple gold ring from it. Ryan stopped breathing. “I love you so much, Ryan. Will you agree to be my husband? Will you marry me and share the rest of your life with me?” Daniel held out the ring for him to see, hand slightly shaking. As if the ring were what Ryan was interested in at the moment. Tears of joy welled in his eyes. Daniel had said he loved him, wanted to share his life with him! God, the man wanted to marry him. Ryan couldn’t speak through the sudden lump in his throat. “Sweetheart?” Daniel looked a little scared. “Daniel, oh, God.” Ryan was having difficulty breathing, he was so happy. “Yes! Yes to everything! I love you too, so

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much. Of course I will marry you. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you.” “Oh, thank God!” Daniel closed his hand around the ring and brought both arms around him in a crushing embrace. “For a very scary moment there I thought you were going to say no.” They just breathed together for a while. When Daniel pulled back he wiped a few tears from his own face. Then he kissed Ryan’s face until his tears were gone as well, making Ryan giggle. “I could never say no to you.” Ryan kissed Daniel’s forehead. “Good to know.” Daniel winked at him and held out the ring again. “Will you wear this ring for me as a token of our promise?” “I would love to.” Ryan held out his left hand and watched Daniel slide the gold band onto his ring finger. It was a perfect fit. But how was he going to fit into Daniel’s life? Hell, he didn’t even know what his future husband did for a living.

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IX

DANIEL was ecstatic that Ryan had said yes to his marriage proposal. He’d never been so relieved in his life. His knees were still weak, and his breath a little out of rhythm, but he was recovering quickly. He pushed the empty jeweler’s box back into his pocket, glad he had taken the time to get the ring while they were shopping at the mall this morning. He hadn’t planned to propose while they were in the limo, wanting to wait till they were at home. But Ryan had looked so lost and in desperate need of reassurance that he couldn’t resist. It looked like Ryan wasn’t the only one who couldn’t say no to anything his partner wanted. Grinning at himself, Daniel rose from his uncomfortable kneeling position on the limo’s floor and sank back into the soft leather seat. Ryan was still staring at his hand, a small smile on his lips. The ring looked damned good on the man, even if he did say so himself. Just then the limo stopped moving. A look outside confirmed they were home. “Are we there?” Ryan looked up, a slight frown on his forehead.

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“Yeah.” Daniel took Ryan’s hand and they got out of the limo. “Let’s go inside, and you can tell me what you’re frowning about.” “I… well… oh, hell.” Ryan sighed. “I can’t put anything past you, can I?” “Not if I can help it.” Daniel thanked the limo driver, handed him a tip, and turned to lead Ryan toward the house. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.” “I’m okay. More okay than I’ve been in years.” Ryan followed him into the living room. “It’s just….” They took off their jackets, leaving them on a chair, and sat down on the sofa. They turned to face each other. “It’s just what, sweetheart?” Daniel took Ryan’s left hand between both of his. “You are the most important person in my life. You have just agreed to be my husband, so when you frown, I worry.” “You don’t need to worry.” Ryan smiled and squeezed his hands. “You have made me so happy by wanting to share your life with me. But I’m not sure how I even fit into it.” “How you fit into it?” Daniel was the one frowning now. “I mean, we know so little about what happened in our lives over the past four years.” Ryan shrugged. “I’m probably making a mountain out of a molehill here, but I don’t even know what you do for a living now. Do you still work for your father’s company? And I worry about not being able to

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contribute anything. I don’t even have a college degree, and—” “Hold on for a moment. That’s a lot of questions at once. Let me try and answer them as best I can.” Daniel took a deep breath. “First of all, as to how you fit into my life, you are the center of it. You are my most important priority.” “I am?” Ryan’s eyes were big. “What about your job and your friends?” “Sweetheart, no job could ever be more important than you.” Daniel kissed him on the tip of his adorable nose. “And I’m sure that my friends will grow to like you as soon as they meet you.” “But… but you have to earn money somehow, right?” Ryan gestured around the room with his right hand. “All this doesn’t pay for itself.” “You’re right, it doesn’t.” Daniel smiled. “But I’m very lucky. I made a very good investment three years ago when I opened my first restaurant. It was a lot of hard work, but it became a big success really quickly. I own three of them now, all managed by very capable people. All I have to do is come up with new ideas for recipes and menus now and then. And when I feel like it, I go and take over one of the kitchens for a night.” “You’re… you’re a chef?” Ryan looked floored. “So all those weekend morning experiments in the kitchen making us anything from a weird omelet to complete brunches paid off for you?”

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“Weird omelets, indeed.” Daniel laughed. “Yeah, I’d been playing with the idea of becoming a chef for a while. I mean, I liked working for my dad’s company well enough. It gave me great experience for the business side of things. But it was never really what I wanted to do. And when you left I was so desperate that I decided the distraction of learning something new was the best strategy. I went to culinary school, and a year later I opened the first restaurant with Ben, another student there who had become a good friend. He had a lot more experience but not enough money. We’ve never looked back.” “So, you’re rich?” Ryan looked crushed and tried to pull away from him. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Daniel held onto Ryan’s hand. He wasn’t going to let him get away ever again. “All that means is that we won’t have to worry about money and can spend more time together. Build our relationship so that it’ll last the next fifty or sixty years.” “But… but I’ve got nothing to offer you.” Ryan managed to look utterly adorable in his desperation. “All I want is you.” Daniel pulled Ryan into his arms, holding him tight and rubbing his back to soothe him. He was much too thin but still strong, his back muscles flexing under Daniel’s hands. “I don’t want you to feel like you’ve got to ‘offer’ anything. If there is something you want to do with your life, then let’s talk about it. What about painting and drawing like you used to? Are you still into that? But please

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don’t feel like you have to do anything other than be yourself and spend time with me.” “Oh, Daniel.” Ryan put his head on Daniel’s shoulder and nuzzled into his neck. “You are too wonderful to be true. I haven’t even got a college degree. I barely managed to survive the last four years. My drawings helped make a little bit of money for me, but I haven’t had the time or energy to explore painting like I dreamed I would.” The words were mumbled into his skin. Ryan didn’t even look at him. Maybe that made it easier for him to talk about a situation he was obviously not happy with? “I don’t think you have anything to be ashamed of.” Daniel pulled back and put a finger under Ryan’s chin, forcing eye contact. “I’m proud of you for surviving on your own, for coming back to see Nicole happy, for accepting my marriage proposal. I want to help you make up for lost time because I feel like I should have been there for you four years ago.” “You do?” A hesitant smile tucked at the corners of Ryan’s full lips. “Yes, sweetheart, I do.” Daniel was going to say it as often as necessary until this stubborn man was going to believe him. “And we’ll spend lots of time talking about everything we’re going to do together, but not tonight.” “We’re not?” Ryan had a definite twinkle in his eyes now. Good.

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“No, my handsome lover, we’re not.” Daniel stood up and pulled Ryan to his feet beside him, starting to walk them toward the stairs. “It’s getting really late and there is one thing I want to do with you tonight before we’re both too tired for it.” “There is?” Ryan stopped walking. That wasn’t good. “Oh, yes.” Daniel turned around, slid his right hand behind Ryan’s neck, and pulled him in for a long kiss. They hadn’t even quite made it to the stairs yet. Ryan’s lips were incredibly soft and opened for him at the first touch of his tongue. He slid inside and moaned at the heat welcoming him. Ryan tasted like the champagne they’d had at the party, like the mints they’d had on the way out. Underneath all that there was a sweet, male taste that had Daniel almost panting with desire. God, he would never get enough of this man. After long minutes of frantic kissing and licking Ryan pulled back. His eyes were big and luminous, pupils dilated with desire. “Daniel?” Ryan’s voice was a mere whisper, his eyes full of questions. “Ryan, I love you.” Daniel kissed him on his eyelids and gazed into those beautiful green pools of emotion. “I want you. Will you share my bed with me tonight?”

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“Daniel, oh love, I want you too. So much.” Ryan swallowed and tried to look away. “I just… I mean, I’ve never….” Daniel’s heart beat faster with exhilaration. That sounded like…. “You’ve never what?” Daniel needed to be sure exactly how inexperienced Ryan was so he could do this right. “God, this is embarrassing.” Ryan closed his eyes for a few seconds and then opened them again, looking helpless. “Are you telling me you’re a virgin?” Daniel smiled reassuringly, trying to help Ryan feel less embarrassed. “Yeah.” Ryan took a deep breath. “Totally. I’ve never done anything other than kiss. And even that only twice. One was a girl in junior high, and it proved that I wasn’t into girls at all. And then there was this guy back in Sudbury when I’d first moved there. He told me he liked me, but I didn’t like him very much so I made sure he never got close to me again.” “Thank you for telling me that.” Daniel caressed the back of Ryan’s head, enjoying the feeling of the soft strands of hair sliding between his fingers. “You’re not disappointed?” Ryan’s eyebrows rose almost to his hairline. “Why would I be disappointed?” Daniel continued his slow caresses of Ryan’s head and neck, trying to make the man relax a little. “Sweetheart, this is a great gift you’re

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giving me. This way we get to explore what we like together, most of it the first time for both of us. I may have experimented a little more than you have, but I’ve never gone all the way. I just couldn’t do that with anyone else. For me, that is something I only want with the man I love. And that is you.”

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X

“YOU’VE never…?” Ryan was ridiculously happy about that. “But you seem so sure about yourself, about what you want.” “It seems that way, does it?” Daniel laughed. “But we haven’t done anything much yet, have we?” “No, I guess not.” Ryan felt like they’d done plenty. And from the sound of it, there was a lot more to come. Just the thought of sharing a bed with Daniel, spending a night in his warm, strong arms, made his heart beat faster and his breath speed up. “And we won’t. Do anything much. Not unless and until we both want to.” Daniel looked straight into his eyes. “I want you a lot, so I’m probably going to get ahead of myself at some point. You’re going to have to stop me if there’s anything you’re not comfortable with.” “As if I could say no to anything you want.” Ryan smiled. “I thought we’d established that earlier?” “We had.” Daniel grinned. “But this is different.”

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“I know.” Ryan leaned in to kiss Daniel on the cheek. “I was just joking. I do understand what you mean, and I’m grateful. I just don’t want to disappoint you.” “Sweetheart, there’s no way you could disappoint me.” Daniel hugged him, stepped back and twined the fingers of their hands together. “So getting back to the original question: will you please share my bed with me tonight? Even if it is just to sleep?” “I would love to.” Ryan nodded, feeling all warm inside. Daniel marched them upstairs and into his bedroom at the end of the upstairs landing. He flicked on the lights and closed the door behind them. The room was a little larger than the guest room with a four-poster king-size bed against the wall to the right, a nightstand with a small lamp on each side. Comforter, carpet, and curtains were various shades of blue. There was a marble fireplace opposite the bed with two windows to the right and left of it. The doors on the back wall led to a walkin closet and the bathroom, from what he could see. A cherry wood dresser stood between them, flanked by a chair on each side. A huge antique mirror in a gold frame hung above it. It smelled fresh, like a pine forest after a summer rainfall. “Wow.” Ryan felt immediately at home. “I like this room. It feels so warm. And it even smells nice.” “I’m glad you like it.” Daniel smiled and pulled him into his strong arms again. “Now, I really want to get out of this suit and take a shower. What about you?”

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Ryan only nodded. Water and a naked Daniel—hold on, where had that image come from? It was the stuff of his deepest fantasies. He blushed. “Sweetheart?” Daniel tilted his head and never stopped looking at him, waiting for an answer. Ryan gulped and blushed a deeper shade of pink. Oh, what the hell. This was his future husband, after all. “I was just wondering if, well, maybe we should conserve water?” Ryan’s blush was now so pink that it might glow in the dark. “C-conserve….” Daniel’s eyes grew bigger, and then he laughed out loud. “That was priceless, Ryan. But I agree, we should definitely conserve water.” “Okay.” Ryan wasn’t sure he was ever going to get his normal skin tone back. “You want to know a secret?” Daniel pulled him closer to his well-muscled chest and moved his mouth to his ear. “I’ve been dreaming about undressing you and taking a long, hot shower with you for a very long time. Will you let me?” Daniel’s hot breath right next to his ear made Ryan shiver with delight. Small tingles of desire traveled down his neck straight to his tightening groin. He nodded, unable to speak. God, he would let Daniel do anything that made him feel like this. Hot and wanted. Special.

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When Daniel started nibbling on his earlobe, sucking it into his warm mouth and licking it, Ryan moaned from the intense arousal. His growing erection pressed against his dress pants, clamoring for attention and making him squirm. “You like that, huh?” Daniel lifted his head and winked at him. Daniel walked them across the room, never letting go of him. He loosened his own tie, followed by Ryan’s, and dropped both on the dresser. Making eye contact, he started unbuttoning Ryan’s shirt, sliding his fingers across each inch of naked skin as he slowly revealed Ryan’s hairless chest and trim abdomen to his heated gaze. “Beautiful.” He slid the shirt off Ryan’s shoulders, letting it fall to the floor as he bent and kissed each nipple. “Gahhh….” Ryan arched into the touch. Fire traveled straight from his nipples to his growing cock, making it throb with need. Daniel got the message. He slid his warm hands around Ryan’s shoulders to hold him still. The he started licking and kissing each nipple, alternating between them until Ryan was gasping for breath. Daniel stepped back and made a move towards Ryan’s belt buckle. Ryan took a deep breath, trying to clear his brain from the fog of desire. He wanted to touch too. He stroked Daniel’s hand to stop him. “My turn.” Ryan lifted his hands and undid the first button of Daniel’s shirt, still a little unsure. But the older

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man smiled and nodded for him to continue, letting his hands fall relaxed to his sides. Ryan undid all the buttons, fumbling with most of them, he was so excited. He didn’t let himself really look for fear of never getting it done. Finally he slid the shirt off Daniel’s broad shoulders. For a moment, he just stood and stared. Daniel’s upper body was a dream come true. His wide shoulders narrowed into slim hips. His chest was covered by a smattering of dark hair, as were his strong arms. His nipples were a deep red and rose quite prominently from well-developed pectorals. A trail of dark hair led his eyes lower to where a considerable bulge was covered by the black pants. Ryan lifted his right hand and circled a nipple with his fingertips, making Daniel gasp. His left hand joined in, and he circled and stroked both nipples simultaneously, making them stand up even further. They were soon hard as little pebbles. Daniel had closed his eyes and was breathing deeply, his hands fisted at his sides. When he opened them they were the darkest blue Ryan had ever seen them. It was Ryan’s turn to gasp when Daniel clasped his face between both hands and pressed his lips to his already open mouth. Daniel angled his head when his hot tongue entered, and he explored Ryan’s depths to the fullest. The need for oxygen finally made Ryan draw back. Daniel grinned and went to his knees, taking Ryan’s shoes

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and socks off. Then he took off his own before raising his hands to Ryan’s belt to open it. Ryan couldn’t move. In a moment he’d be completely naked and more vulnerable to another human being than he’d been since he was a very young child. He was terrified and exhilarated at the same time. Nothing happened. Daniel had stopped moving and was looking into his eyes. Waiting for him to be okay with this. God, he loved this man. Smiling with gratitude Ryan nodded. His smile deepened as Daniel opened belt, button, and zipper with slightly shaky hands. Apparently Ryan wasn’t the only one deeply affected by the intimacy of this moment. Daniel pulled apart the cloth and pulled down the pants to Ryan’s ankles. This revealed the black silk boxers Ryan had chosen this morning. The immediate tent formed by his achingly hard cock was almost embarrassing. Daniel moved his head closer and kissed the fabric that was straining over the clearly outlined erection. He took a deep breath, nuzzled Ryan’s balls, and then took another breath. “Mhmm, you smell good, baby.” Daniel looked up at him, eyes shining with lust. “I… I do?” Ryan had never been sniffed by anyone. “Oh yeah.” Daniel took hold of his ass with his warm hands and returned his face to Ryan’s crotch. He started sniffing over and around his balls and hard cock. He placed

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little kisses all over the silky covering, driving Ryan crazy with lust. Ryan started moving his hips to get more of the touch. Daniel’s hands were burning hot on his ass cheeks, even through the fabric. His knees were almost buckling from the intensity of his arousal. He needed that touch on his skin now. As if the older man could sense this, he lifted his hands and pulled down the offending piece of clothing. He pushed it and the pants completely off Ryan’s feet by making him step out of them. He ran his warm hands up Ryan’s legs and gripped his hips to turn him with his back to the dresser. It was just the right height to support Ryan’s ass as he was gently pushed against it. With the fear of falling down somewhat lessened, Ryan was able to focus on Daniel’s actions. For a moment the man just stared at Ryan’s hard cock. It was rising straight up from its nest of blond curls and throbbing with desire. Then he kissed the tip, and Ryan groaned. He wasn’t going to last very long. Daniel looked up, his eyes burning with desire as he licked the throbbing shaft from base to tip. Ryan closed his eyes. It was just too intense. “Look at me, baby.” Daniel’s voice cut through the haze in his brain. With a supreme effort of will Ryan opened his eyes and looked the man he loved in the eyes.

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“I want to see your eyes when I make you come.” Daniel sucked on the tip of his cock and licked the slit. “I-it’s….” Ryan groaned as Daniel took the entire glans into his hot mouth and sucked. Hard. “It’s n-not going to be long if you keep this up.” Daniel nodded, not letting go of him for a second. His tongue caressed the sensitive underside of his cock as he took more of him into his mouth. When the tip hit the back of his throat he pulled back, sucking for all he was worth. Ryan’s knees started trembling, and he gripped the dresser behind him for support. Daniel’s lips around his cock looked amazing. Then the man slid the throbbing organ back into his mouth, and this time he didn’t stop when the tip hit the back of his throat. Instead, he relaxed his throat muscles, and Ryan felt his cock slide into the narrow heat. “Ungh….” Ryan didn’t want to come yet, this just felt too good. But the tingles at the base of his spine were a clear message. He wasn’t going to have a choice in a few seconds. He needed to warn Daniel before it was too late. “I… I’m gonna….” Daniel just nodded and started swallowing around his dick. The additional pressure was too much for Ryan. His eyes widened as the tingles at the base of his spine zinged to his cock and balls, making them contract in orgasm. His entire body shook as he screamed Daniel’s name, pumping jet after jet of semen into his mouth. Daniel sucked him through it and then licked his shrinking dick clean. He

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let go with a small noise, rose from his knees, and took Ryan into his arms. “I love you, baby.” Daniel’s voice had turned husky and raw. “I love you so much.” All Ryan could do was nod. He breathed in the scent of the man who had given him the most intense physical release of his life as he slowly came back to himself. “I love you too, Daniel.” Ryan slid his arms around Daniel’s waist and leaned into his strength. He kissed the shoulder he was leaning against and closed his eyes. He was going to go for that shower. He really was, in just a little while.

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XI

DANIEL smiled at the exhausted man leaning on his shoulder. The fact that he had worn Ryan out like this made him feel ten feet tall. His own erection was still throbbing in his pants, but he didn’t mind. He’d never been so focused on someone else’s needs. But then, he’d never been with the man he loved. After a while Ryan’s breaths came more slowly, and the younger man sighed, wiggling even closer. His thigh touched Daniel’s engorged cock and made him hiss with intense arousal. “Baby, God.” Daniel instinctively pushed into the touch, needing more friction. “Daniel?” Ryan lifted his head, looking confused. “Shhh, just….”God, he needed relief. Even that slight touch increased the urgency of his held-back need to almost unbearable levels. He was going to end up humping Ryan’s thigh if he didn’t get hold of himself. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Just give me a minute, baby.” “Oh, Daniel, I’m sorry.” Ryan’s hands fumbled at his belt buckle, opened the button and slid the pants off his hips, letting them drop to the floor.

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Daniel’s eyes flew open, and he stared at the younger man as he dropped to his knees, sliding his white briefs down his shaking legs. God, he was already so close. He turned slightly so that his butt was now supported by the dresser. Single most useful piece of furniture he’d ever bought, other than the bed. Ryan stared at his cock, eyes big, cheeks pink. He lifted a hand, hesitating just before he briefly touched the aching shaft. “Wow.” Ryan looked up and smiled. “You’re big.” “Jesus. Baby.” Daniel’s hips jerked of their own volition. He gripped the dresser in desperation, trying to hold on in more ways than one. “You’re going to make me come just by talking like that.” “I am?” Ryan grinned. “Didn’t know that was possible.” “Neither did I,” Daniel moaned, focused on holding still. “Please… Just touch me. Please. Anything.” Ryan nodded and moved his hand back onto the straining cock in front of his face. His index finger touched the top of Daniel’s cock. Daniel groaned. He slid his finger around the deep red glans, distributing the clear precome all over its sensitive surface. Daniel whimpered. “More?” Ryan looked up again, a little unsure. “God. Yes. As long as you keep touching me.” Daniel wasn’t going to be able to hold on much longer. The

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combination of open curiosity and that light touch was driving him mad with desire. Ryan smiled and licked his full lips as he turned his attention back to the swollen cock in front of his face. He slid his hand down Daniel’s shaft, enclosing it carefully. Daniel’s hips jerked again. Ryan lifted his other hand and put it on Daniel’s hip to hold him still. He took a deep breath and moved forward. When his hot tongue licked Daniel’s slit, then circled the entire glans Daniel screamed. “Ryan! Baby, more!” Daniel panted, desperately trying not to push his swollen dick into Ryan’s mouth. But Ryan had different ideas. With another deep breath he opened his mouth wide and enclosed the head of Daniel’s cock in the wet warmth. “Ryan! Ooohhh!” Daniel’s entire focus was on those beautiful lips caressing and swallowing his cock. Ryan tightened the grip of his hand and slid it all the way down to the base as his lips followed. His tongue caressed the underside of Daniel’s cock. When he started sucking as he moved back up, Daniel lost it. “Ryan!” Daniel shouted, and he came in hot pulses, entire body shaking. Ryan’s eyes were big, shocked. He swallowed convulsively but didn’t let go of Daniel’s throbbing organ until he had drained the last drop. With a smug smile he licked the softening penis and looked up into Daniel’s eyes.

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“You taste good, love.” Ryan sat back on his haunches, dropping the hand he had used onto his own thigh, next to a cock that was already more than half hard again. “I… you….” Daniel didn’t know what to say. “God, that was incredible.” “You liked that, huh?” Ryan grinned and rose to his feet. “You couldn’t tell? I loved it.” Daniel hugged him. “You sure you’ve never done that before?” “Yeah.” Ryan blushed. “I’ve dreamed about it though.” “Makes me wonder what else you’ve dreamed about.” Daniel grinned. He couldn’t wait to discover more of Ryan’s apparent talents. “Oh. Uhm.” Ryan looked down, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Hey.” Daniel cupped his jaw and pulled his face back up. “No need to be embarrassed. I love you. I love that you’ve thought about me. About us.” “You do?” Ryan’s smile was radiant. “Well, in that case, I’ve got this fantasy about you and me in the shower….” Daniel laughed, delighted by Ryan’s playfulness. “Well, you did promise me one, right?” Ryan tried to suppress a smile tugging at his lips but didn’t quite succeed. “I did indeed.” Daniel forced himself to stand on legs that were still shaky. ”Come on then, let’s get wet together.”

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He took Ryan’s hand, and they walked into the bathroom. The shower was nice and big, more than big enough for two. He’d made sure of that when he bought and modernized the house a year ago. “Hey, this is a great shower. It looks even more inviting than the one in the guest room.” Ryan stared at the glass brick wall that curved around the shower area, protecting the rest of the room from getting wet. No need for a shower curtain. Daniel stepped in first and pressed the button that brought hot water from the on-demand pump straight to the shower heads. Ryan followed him in, eyes big. Water was soon everywhere. Daniel just stared as Ryan stood under the overhead fixture, eyes closed and head back to wet his hair. The two sets of body sprays ensured the rest of him was wet and slick in no time. His lean muscles moved and rippled under his pale skin as he lifted his hands in total abandon. He was beautiful. Daniel grabbed a bottle of herbal shampoo and started washing Ryan’s hair. Ryan sighed and leaned into his touch. He kept his eyes closed and smiled. When Daniel was done with Ryan’s hair, he took some body wash and soaped up the man’s body. Sliding across wet muscles and exploring everywhere, he ended at Ryan’s groin. Kneeling before him he soaped up his cock and balls, stretching a hand between his legs to clean between his ass

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cheeks. This made Ryan moan and his cock jump to full hardness. Ryan opened his eyes, a dreamy look making him even more adorable than usual. “My turn.” Ryan rinsed himself off quickly. When Ryan’s hands started massaging shampoo into Daniel’s long hair, Daniel had to close his eyes. That was the most amazing feeling, nothing like when the hairdresser washed it. Ryan soon had him moaning in delight and his cock twitching with interest. Then he started washing Daniel’s body, hands everywhere, slipping and sliding across muscles and making his skin tingle. When he was done, Daniel opened his eyes just in time to see Ryan get more of the body wash. With an impish grin, Ryan stepped closer and took Daniel’s now hard cock into his hand. He started slowly jacking him, making him shudder in delight. Good idea; two could play that game. Daniel covered his own hands in more body wash and managed to get one hand around Ryan’s cock, returning the favor. Sliding his free arm around Ryan’s shoulder, he pulled their faces closer and kissed Ryan with an open mouth. Hands sliding over increasingly hard cocks, tongues dueling, they were both panting and straining for release. Daniel increased the pressure and slid his thumb across the slit of Ryan’s throbbing cock.

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“Daniel! Love!” Ryan moaned and trembled, coming all over their stomachs and hands. That was too much for Daniel, and he followed his lover into a shuddering orgasm, groaning his name. They fell into each other’s arms, panting for breath. “That… that was even better than my fantasy.” Ryan kissed behind his ear, along his jaw, making him quiver again. “Thank you.” Daniel just nodded, resting his head on the other man’s shoulder. When he thought he could move again he switched off the water. He grabbed two white towels from the towel warmer and wrapped first Ryan, then himself into the fluffy softness. They carefully dried each other off, smiling and kissing the whole time. Daniel was totally exhausted from the long day and the intense pleasure they had just shared. Ryan didn’t look much better. “Bed?” Daniel threw the towels in the direction of the hamper, too tired to care where they ended up. “Yes, please.” Ryan took his hand and kissed it. “I can’t wait to finally sleep in your arms.” “Another fantasy of yours?” Daniel smiled. That was exactly what he had wanted for years as well. To find Ryan and to keep him. He walked them to the bed, got them under

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the covers and lay back against the pillows. He pulled a very willing Ryan against his chest. “A dream, love.” Ryan sighed, closed his beautiful green eyes, and snuggled closer. His arms came around Daniel’s neck and one long leg slid between his spread ones. “A dream come true.”

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SERENA YATES is the penname for a night owl who starts writing when everyone else in her time zone is asleep. She has loved reading all her life and spent most of her childhood with her nose buried in a book. Although she always wanted to be a writer, financial independence came first. Twentysome years and a successful business career later she took some online writing classes and never looked back. Living and working in seven countries has taught her that there is more than one way to get things done. It has instilled tremendous respect for the many different cultures, beliefs, attitudes and preferences that exist on our planet. Serena likes exploring those differences in her stories, most of which happen to be romances. Her characters have a tendency to want to do their own thing, so she often has to rein them back in. The one thing they all agree on is the desire for a happy ending. She currently lives in the United Kingdom, sharing her house with her vast collection of books. She likes reading, traveling, spending time with her nieces and listening to classical music. She has a passion for science and learning new languages. You may contact Serena at [email protected].

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To Find and to Keep ♥ Serena Yates

To Find and to Keep ©Copyright Serena Yates, 2009 Published by Dreamspinner Press 4760 Preston Road Suite 244-149 Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. Cover Design by Catt Ford This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the publisher. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 4760 Preston Road, Suite 244-149, Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ Released in the United States of America June, 2009 eBook Edition eBook ISBN: 978-1-61581-006-2

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