Warrior

Himiko: Warrior - 1

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of either the author or the publisher. Himiko: Warrior TOP SHELF An imprint of Torquere Press Publishers PO Box 2545 Round Rock, TX 78680 Copyright 2011 by CB Conwy Cover illustration by Alessia Brio Published with permission ISBN: 978-1-61040-545-4 www.torquerepress.com All rights reserved, which includes the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever except as provided by the U.S. Copyright Law. For information address Torquere Press. Inc., PO Box 2545, Round Rock, TX 78680. First Torquere Press Printing: October 2011 Printed in the USA

Himiko: Warrior - 2

CB Conwy:

Himiko: Warrior

1 They were in the car, approaching the city. Matt was looking around, wide-eyed, as the first suburbs started emerging around them. He felt like he had been away for years and not just a few months; everything seemed bright and foreign and just very strange. It had been surprisingly hard to leave the house in the forest. Hard enough that he had a lump in his throat when they went out the door for the very last time that morning. He had stopped outside the door, taking in the garden. It brought back memories of lazy summer days in the sun with Pietr. There had been the incident, too, when Matt had overexerted himself. Pietr had tended to him in that garden, sitting with him and holding him while he had been completely empty of energy. He still remembered the sun on his back and the quiet rustling of the wind in the trees. Then there was the forest where he had learned so much about his powers. Not all of it had been easy. Sam and Jerry had worked his ass off teaching him how to use all aspects of his abilities -- not only those that Pietr and Aki knew. It had been incredibly hard work, but he had made it and even gotten to like Sam and Jerry in the end. He had given the cabin itself one last glance before he turned to leave. It was the place where he had enjoyed simple, everyday life with Pietr, creating a bond Himiko: Warrior - 3

that consisted of more than their physical bond: a bond created by talking and eating and sleeping together. He sighed as he sat in the car. Even if it was the right decision to go back to his life in the city, he was still a little sad to leave the place where he had been so happy. To Matt, the cabin in the woods pretty much symbolized everything he had now: a new life with a beautiful mate. You don't need the symbol when you have the real thing, baby. Pietr sounded very smug as he reached over and took Matt's hand. Matt couldn't help laughing out loud. You just don't have any confidence issues, do you? Pietr was so sure of himself. Or maybe he was sure of Matt. Having bonded with his mate was still something of a miracle to Matt, and he wondered daily how he could have been so damn lucky as to find Pietr. It hadn't exactly been easy, though. Matt had been terrified when the aliens had kidnapped him that horrible day four months ago. He knew that people didn't come back when they were "harvested" like that. Or rather, a few did escape. But they were so deep into psychosis that they couldn't live among people anymore. Either they were committed to a psychiatric hospital, or they killed themselves before anybody could help them. But Matt had found Pietr. And even though it had created a lot of problems -- a human shouldn't have been able to bond with a Himiko, and the Himika didn't know much about how Matt would react to it -- it was the best thing that had ever happened to Matt. To say that he loved Pietr would be like saying that he kind of liked to breathe. He didn't just love his mate, he needed Pietr and would die without him. Literally, not in the romancenovel way.

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He had instinctively curled his fingers tightly around Pietr's hand while he reminisced, and Pietr reassuringly squeezed his hand back. I love you, too. Matt nodded. He knew, and the knowledge made him smile. Then he startled. Oh... There was something odd brushing his mind. They're just humans. Block them out. Matt blinked. You didn't tell me... I can feel them! And what do you mean, "just"? Another thought brushed his mind, and he shuddered. Pietr was thoroughly confused. But you just block them! It's so easy. See, like this? He made a nice and polite ring around himself. It'll keep them out just fine, and you can still communicate as you need. Matt tried it, and it worked. Still, he had questions. I didn't think we could communicate like that! Some of you can. You are one of them. Humans just can't hear Himika; your abilities aren't that developed. That's why you need the chip. Matt instinctively reached up and brushed his fingers over the barely noticeable scar on the back of his neck where his chip had been implanted, enabling him to hear the Himika's mental communication. Will it be like this from now on? Would he be able to hear the thoughts of everybody around him? Matt was this close to freaking out at that thought. No! Matt, calm down. Pietr tried hard to comfort him. Not many have the ability at all, and in a short time you won't even notice that you're blocking them. It's nothing like a real shield. Pietr showed him, and, as usual, the simple demonstration combined with Pietr's total confidence was the best way of convincing Matt of something. Yeah, you can be really stubborn. Himiko: Warrior - 5

Am not! Pietr just laughed, and Matt actually felt himself blushing a bit. That hadn't been the best support of his statement. But he had never been one to give up that easily. But to get back to my other point: What do you mean by "just" humans? Pietr groaned, and they bickered all the way into the city. It kept Matt's attention elsewhere, and in a corner of his mind, he knew very well that that was exactly what Pietr intended. Matt hardly had time to think before they were at his building. Matt's space in the parking garage was still there, and they grabbed as much of their luggage as they could carry before Matt led Pietr up into his apartment. He felt a little apprehensive when he unlocked the door; it would be dusty and stuffy in there after four months. He was surprised at what he saw when he went in, though. The air seemed fresh, and the stainless steel appliances in the open kitchen were spotless. We had somebody take care of the place. Pietr stood in the middle of the floor, looking around, and for the first time, Matt felt him being a little uncertain. Matt walked over to him. Welcome home, Pietr. Matt gave his mate a hug and kept his arms around Pietr. Isn't it supposed to be me comforting you? Pietr leaned in, though, grateful for the reassurance. Matt had a hunch that Pietr had been so busy distracting and helping Matt that he hadn't had any time to consider the fact that this was going to be an entirely new life for him, too. You can distract me all you want after we've unpacked, Matt assured him.

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That seemed to do the trick; Pietr's mind was immediately filled with pictures of a very naked Matt. Matt huffed and pulled back. You're so easy, you know that? Hey! Pietr was excellent at faking outrage. I'm just showing my gratitude. As I said: after we've unpacked. Matt waggled his eyebrows so suggestively that Pietr couldn't help laughing out loud. Matt gave him a tour of the apartment. After spending so long in the rustic cabin, his apartment looked odd with its sleek leather sofas and white walls. Being here reminded Matt of everything he had left behind, and he caught himself thinking about work. His assistant had access to the bank accounts and could run everything on a daily basis, so it wasn't as if everything would have shut down just because he wasn't there for a week or two. But he had been gone four months, not just a week or two. He had been finishing up the proposal for the McCauley project when he was harvested. The competition to build a new wing for the city's museum of natural history had been an excellent opportunity to get into the museum world, and they had really had a good chance of getting the job. If only Shaun had gotten the proposal delivered before the deadline... See? You do have a life here. Matt realized that he did. He had been nervous about coming back, but Pietr was right; he did have something to come back to. He had a job that he liked a lot, and suddenly, he couldn't wait to see his employees. It had been months since he had talked to anyone but Himika. Well, months since he had talked much at all -- since he had developed his mental skills, he hadn't used his voice nearly as much as he used to. And architecture was his Himiko: Warrior - 7

passion as well as his job. Creating his own company had made all of his dreams and ambitions come true. Are you going to work today? Pietr asked. Not until tomorrow. I want to catch up with my friends first. He suddenly remembered Benjamin's face when Matt had been taken out of that classroom. I should probably go see them as soon as possible. I'm sorry about that, you know? Matt looked up; there was a look of shame on Pietr's face as his mate remembered Matt's terror when he was harvested. It is going to change. Pietr's inner voice was quietly determined. We just need to communicate better. Then humans won't be so terrified of us. Matt had a feeling that it would take a lot more than that; the fear of the harvesting had been strong among humans. Especially when some of the kidnapped people escaped captivity and came back, so deep into psychosis that they were hardly even human anymore. Matt had been terrified. But he didn't say that to Pietr. Instead he nodded. I'll go grab the rest of our luggage -- you can begin sorting out your clothes or something in the meantime. Pietr did, and as Matt went out the door, Pietr was deep in thought as he color-coordinated his clothes before hanging them in the closet. Weirdo. *** Matt took a big breath before he raised his hand to knock at the door of the house that Benjamin and Jones shared. He hadn't called beforehand, because he hadn't had a clue what he was going to say. "Honey, I'm home"? He knocked twice. Himiko: Warrior - 8

"Benj, when the fuck are you going to learn to remember your key?" Jones had opened the door without as much as casting a glance outside. "Hi, Jones." There was an endless moment when Jones froze. Then his friend turned to look at him, and next thing Matt knew, he was swallowed up in Jones' embrace. Matt hugged Jones right back, the familiar feeling of being in Jones' arms so good. They had been lovers for almost a year and friends ever since. This was like coming home. "Matt! Fuck, I thought you were gone for good." Jones pulled back, looking at Matt with a disbelieving expression on his face. "Are you okay?" He ran his hands feverishly down Matt's face, staring as if to determine whether Matt was sane or not. What he saw seemed to satisfy him, because he started asking questions. "What did they do to you? Are they after you? Fuck, come on in before they find you." Jones interrupted himself, casting fearful glances over Matt's shoulder and pulling his arm until Matt was inside the house. Jones slammed the door closed behind him. Matt blinked. It was amazing to be back again, but Jones was acting just a bit weird. "Will they come after you?" Jones looked more nervous than Matt remembered seeing ever before. "Jones, relax. They let me go; they're not after me. It's all good." Matt smiled and hugged Jones again. Then he slapped Jones on the back, pulled away, and headed for the living room. Thank God he didn't feel any indication that Jones was able to communicate mentally. "God, it feels like ages since I've been here." Matt studied the room as if it were the first time he had been here, seeing the battered furniture and the ridiculously expensive plasma TV on the wall, complete with Himiko: Warrior - 9

surround-sound equipment spread all over the living room. Benjamin and Jones had always agreed on their priorities when it came to decorating. Jones followed him in there, still staring at him. "I can't believe you're here. You're sure you're okay?" Jones looked questioningly at him, as if Matt could jump out the window any minute. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's good to see you." It was. Hanging out with Jones had been the most normal thing about his old life. "Now, how about a beer?" Matt didn't particularly want one, but Jones kept staring at him. The question finally goaded Jones into action. "Sure. We got to celebrate that you're out of their claws. Have you seen anybody else but me? I've been doing a campaign to get you free; maybe that's why they let you go. Here, have a look at what I've been doing since they harvested you." Jones was talking way too fast for Matt to answer his question, and now the man went over and grabbed a pile of flyers from the table, handing one to Matt before heading into the kitchen. Matt blinked when he saw a picture of himself and a heading reading "Stop the kidnappings!" There were more on the table, different designs and colors, but all of them with his face on them. "Listen, Jones, it wasn't exactly like that." Matt wasn't sure that Jones could hear him in the kitchen. It didn't seem that way when Jones came back into the room. "When did you get back? Why didn't you call me?" Jones' questions kept coming while he put the beers down on the table. "I came back to the city a couple of hours ago, and I didn't call you because I didn't know what to say to you." Matt shrugged. Jones' expression softened as he came back to Matt. Himiko: Warrior - 10

"Fuck, Matt. You know you can always call me." Jones gave Matt another hug, holding on to him for a long time. Matt sighed and leaned into Jones' embrace. God, he had missed his friend. Jones rubbed his back, squeezing him tightly, and Matt relaxed, letting himself be held. Then Jones pulled back and tried to kiss Matt. "Jones, no." Kissing somebody other than Pietr gave Matt an almost physical feeling of discomfort. Jones got a hurt look on his face. "Why can't I kiss you? You didn't mind before. Especially not just a kiss." Jones sounded accusing. He was right; they had been doing a lot more than kissing, on and off, after they broke up. But being fuckbuddies wasn't in the picture anymore. Matt sighed and sat down. "Listen, Jones..." Matt looked down at the flyers on the table. "It isn't exactly like you think. This, I mean." He pointed to the colorful leaflets. "You weren't kidnapped?" Jones interrupted him. "Well, yes, sort of, but it's a bit more complicated than that." Jones got an apprehensive expression on his face. "They did do something to you, didn't they? Brainwash you or something like that? Or is this just a case of Stockholm syndrome?" "No! I mean, yes, they did do something to me, but it's not like you think. They're decent people." "They're not even people! Matt, how can you say that?" Jones looked confused, his eyes pleading with Matt. "Because I got to know them, Jones. They're okay." The expression on Jones' face was changing rapidly. "They're fucking disfigured monsters, that's what they are. What did they do to make you their little puppy Himiko: Warrior - 11

dog? Or are you just turned on by those creepy elven ears?" Jones was seething. "Did they order you to come here to convert me, too?" Matt shook his head. "Fuck you, Jones. I don't take orders, you know that. But I know them, intimately, and I can communicate with them. Perhaps I'm just able to form an informed opinion; did you consider that?" This was nothing like the happy reunion Matt had been envisioning. "'Intimately'?" Jones was snarling by now. "You know them 'intimately'? Don't fucking tell me you let them fuck you." Matt stood up and stepped so close that he was right in Jones' face. "It's none of your business who I decide to fuck, you hear me? As far as I remember, you were the one who decided you didn't want to fuck me anymore." Jones didn't take the bait. "And what do you mean you can communicate with them? Do they speak some foreign language or what?" "They implanted a chip. It enables me to talk to them. Listen, can I explain this?" Matt stubbornly kept trying to get through to Jones. "But why do you even want to talk to those freaks?" Jones was shouting. "Why the fuck don't you just cut the chip out? Where is it?" Matt kept looking at Jones, his eyes never wavering. "It's in my brain stem. It can't be removed, Jones. And I don't want to have it removed." Jones took a step back, his face a study in revulsion. At that moment, the front door opened. "Hey, Jones, I forgot my..." Benjamin was in the room, looking stunned when he saw Matt. Then he took a step forward, a big smile spreading across his face. "Matt!" Himiko: Warrior - 12

"Don't you fucking touch that pig," Jones hissed. "What the..." Benjamin hesitated, his smile faltering as he looked from Jones to Matt. "But it's Matt." Jones laughed, the sound bitter and borderline insane. "No, this is some sleazebag who fucks aliens. They gave him a chip in his brain to keep him in line." Benjamin seemed thoroughly confused now. He looked entreatingly at Matt. "Matt?" "I only fuck one, and his name is Pietr. And nobody's 'keeping me in line.'" It might not have been the smartest thing to say, but then Matt wasn't known for his even temper. "You're on their side now?" The sound of betrayal in Benjamin's voice made Matt wince. "It's not about sides, that's the whole point! Maybe if we could talk to them, things wouldn't be as tense as they are now." Matt started pacing, too agitated to stay still. Benjamin kept watching Matt. "'Tense'? You don't think it would release the 'tension' if they stopped kidnapping and torturing people?" His voice was scarily devoid of emotion. "I'm not defending that!" Matt was yelling now. This was a hopeless battle. "You're not exactly condemning it, either." Benjamin glanced around the apartment. "I guess we can throw these out." He picked up the flyers and nodded at the image of Matt. "This guy here is gone for good anyway." Matt froze. Then he managed to tear his eyes away from Benjamin, looking imploringly at Jones. His best friend through almost eight years didn't bat an eyelid. "I think it's best if you leave now, Matt." Himiko: Warrior - 13

Matt stared at Jones, completely numb. Then he nodded abruptly and left the room. He stopped in the hallway and looked back at his friends. Neither of them said anything. Matt turned and left. *** He didn't remember anything from his drive home afterward. Pietr was banging on the car window when he came back to reality, and Matt started when he heard the sound. He was in the parking garage under his apartment building, but how he had gotten here, he had no idea. He rolled down the window. "What happened? Why are you shielding from me?" Pietr sounded agitated, and his mate tried to break through Matt's shield. Matt shook his head, trying to get rid of the feeling. "They don't want me around. They say I'm a freak." He sat staring straight ahead. "Open the fucking door!" Without waiting for him to respond, Pietr reached through the open window and opened the car door himself, and then Matt was in his mate's arms. The feeling of Pietr's warm body against his made his unintentional shielding fall apart, and he felt Pietr's concern surrounding him. "I'm fine," Matt said automatically. The fuck you are. Come on. Peter tugged him out of the car, closing the door and leading him to the elevator. There was a woman waiting for it; she hastily turned around and walked away when she saw them. Matt cringed. Don't worry. Come on, they're just humans. Pietr had one arm around Matt and walked him into the elevator when it arrived. Himiko: Warrior - 14

I'm human. Matt laughed, the sound completely devoid of any joy. Or at least I used to be. Now I don't know what the fuck I am. Mine. You're mine. Pietr led him out of the elevator and down the hall to their apartment, and then Matt finally heard the door to the apartment closing behind them. They called you a disfigured monster. They don't matter. Pietr's answer was emphatic. Matt went into the living room and sat down on the couch. Pietr followed him closely, the worry a constant in his mate's mind. They do to me. That was the awful truth. Jones and Benjamin were his best friends. If not even his best friends could tolerate him now, what was he going to do? Live the rest of his life like a pariah? Come on. I'm sure it'll be better at work tomorrow. We'll figure it out, okay? The terrible thing was that Matt could feel the sadness in Pietr's mind. Pietr wasn't sure that it would be better; Pietr had seen way too much disgust and hate to believe that. Jesus, Pietr. The images in Pietr's head were frightening: flashes of one scared and angry human after another at the harvesting, until the memories blurred into a tapestry of hostility. It wasn't exactly what we were after. Pietr tried to keep his tone of voice light, but the pain in his mind was far too strong for it to be convincing. I can't believe you could live with that. Close contact with other beings was what kept a Himiko sane, and whether or not the humans could actually communicate with the Himika, the constant rejection had to hurt. You seem to forget that we did it to ourselves. And to the humans. Pietr tried to keep the flashes hidden from Himiko: Warrior - 15

Matt, tried to spare him from the human fear and pain Pietr had witnessed, as well as Pietr's agony at having to face it day in and day out. Matt reeled at the mere thought of having to endure that. You're not me. They won't hate you like they hate us. Pietr's inner voice was quiet but firm. No. At least I don't have pointy ears. The charm went out of those really quickly. There wasn't much to say after that. Pietr kept close to Matt for the rest of the evening, but there wasn't as much comfort in his mate's presence as there used to be. It wasn't that Matt regretted anything -- he knew that their bonding had been both unavoidable and the best possible thing for him. He just hadn't accounted for the consequences. They were very quiet when they went to bed that night.

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2 Matt woke up the next morning determined to shake off yesterday's events. He had thought that Jones and Benjamin were his best friends. That was clearly not the case. It hurt, but shit happened, and he had to get over it. He was determined to make his return to work more successful; at least now he knew what not to say. There you go. Pietr's inner voice was quietly encouraging. Matt called his office in advance, and his assistant was over the moon with joy when she heard that Matt was coming back. "I missed you so much!" Anne often used exclamation marks when she spoke. They hovered in the air around her long after she had finished talking. "I can't wait to see you again!" She talked eagerly about their projects and the many pitfalls they hadn't been smart enough to avoid in his absence. Matt secretly thought that she had a crush on him, which was odd since everybody knew he was gay. In the end, he had to interrupt her. "I'll be there in twenty minutes, Anne. We can talk then." He was optimistic and really looked forward to seeing everybody again, but when he stepped through the door to the office, nobody answered his greeting. "I said good morning." Shaun finally raised his head. Instead of returning the greeting, he looked at Matt with cold eyes. "I talked to Jones." Matt felt his shoulders slumping. Himiko: Warrior - 17

"And?" He dreaded the answer. "The school project is going as planned. I've made a proposal on an extension to the city hall's administration building." "That's all?" Matt couldn't help hoping that Shaun would get over whatever Jones had told him and talk to Matt. He had been the first employee that Matt had ever hired. "We have two other assignments from the city." So, this was how it was going to be. Matt made an effort to speak. "And the McCauley proposal?" "It's on your desk. We didn't get it." Matt nodded, not knowing what else to say. "I'll be in my office." "Good." Shaun turned his back to Matt and went back to work. Keeping his face carefully neutral, Matt went into his office where Anne was hovering, looking uncertain. "They said that you've been brainwashed! And that you're having sex with the aliens! I told them that there was no way you would do that, but they kept saying..." Matt had to raise his hand to stop the nervous stream of words. He sat down in his chair heavily. "I live with one of them. He's my boyfriend." Matt looked up, and saw the hope on Anne's face change into confusion. Then she tightened her lips, her eyes getting cold. "I see. I can't say that I understand." Matt sighed. "I can't say that I expected you to. Could you please give me the next proposals going out?" Anne nodded abruptly and left the office. Matt steeled his facial expression. The glass walls between his office and the rest of the people working here had seemed a good way to provide soundproofing for business talks in his office while maintaining a sense Himiko: Warrior - 18

of unity in the firm. Right now, Matt wished he had real walls to hide behind. Anne came in, put a number of portfolios on his desk, and left again, never saying a word. Matt sighed again and bent over his work. *** On his way to the nearby parking lot after work, Matt met a guy who worked in the same building. They had had lunch together a couple of times, and the man was gushing when he saw Matt. "I can't believe that you're back! It's really good to see you. I guess the rumors were wrong, then?" Steve looked inquiringly at Matt. "Well, I don't know what the rumors were." Matt could imagine, though. "That you had been harvested. God, I'm so glad you weren't subjected to that. The poor bastards who come back aren't human anymore." "I was taken." Matt knew he sounded brusque. "They let me go again." "Really?" Steve looked vaguely confused. "Well, I guess we have to celebrate. Let's have lunch one of these days." Matt tried to smile. "Sure." There was always the chance that Steve didn't talk to any of Matt's employees. *** The weeks went by, and Matt started realizing how his new life was going to be. The big eye-opener was Shaun's sabotage. Perhaps against his better judgment, he had hoped that his employees had just been surprised or scared Himiko: Warrior - 19

when they found out what had happened to Matt. Maybe it would clear up when they got back to normal and everybody found out that Matt was still just Matt. So Matt kept coming into the office with a polite smile on his face, saying good morning to everybody he met. He never got an answer, though. Then, one morning he checked a proposal one last time before sending it out, mostly looking for any misspellings. He had done almost all of the design work on this before he was harvested, and he had just had time to find the drawings and ask Shaun to do the technical specifications in order to make the deadline. It was a great project, and he thought he had a very good chance of winning it. But not with these numbers in it. The specifications were wrong. At first, he thought it was just a typo. Then he found another, and then another. They weren't innocent, either; they made his proposal appear fifty percent more expensive than it really was. It was enough to get it turned down by the number crunchers before it even got to the architectural committee. Matt groaned and hit his head in his hands. This was not only his junior architect being hostile toward him. This was deliberate sabotage. He called Shaun into his office; he still felt he owed his employee a chance to explain what the man had done. Deep down, he still hoped it had been a mistake on Shaun's side. Shaun just shrugged. "It's not a big deal. Just a couple of wrong numbers." "It was a couple of wrong numbers that would cost us a potentially big assignment. And they weren't a mistake. You're far too good for that." Matt tried to be patient, to reason with him. Himiko: Warrior - 20

Shaun looked at Matt with cold eyes. "Then you'll just have to build houses for your alien friends instead, won't you?" Matt slumped. "Shaun, does it really have to be like this? We were friends!" He knew he was close to begging, but he couldn't help it. The humiliation got all the worse when Shaun just shrugged. "I guess it does. I'm not about to help someone who associates with those creeps." There wasn't much else to do after that except to fire the junior architect. Matt couldn't risk one of his employees sabotaging any other jobs. If they got any assignments at all -- Matt had encountered a distinct hostility when he had called the mayor's office to confirm some details about a job they'd already won. They had signed the contract a long time ago, but everybody knew that you could get out of those if you really wanted. After he sacked Shaun, the rest of his employees were cold, but they did their work. They didn't talk to Matt except for short, work-related questions, though, and he felt like he was slowly becoming invisible. However, that was a lot better than the alternative. *** Getting home late from work one day, Matt was ravenously hungry. Pietr looked up from his book, blinking a little. Matt could tell that his mate had been far away in the story. Wow, you're hungry! So was Pietr, but he had been so occupied with reading that he hadn't noticed it. Now his hunger was enough to make Matt want to chew the table. Himiko: Warrior - 21

Matt went to the fridge and found nothing there but orange juice and yogurt -- and he didn't feel like having either for dinner. Come on, let's go to the store. I want meat. Pietr laughed. You have a one-track mind when it comes to sex and food, honey. Hm. Sex. No, he was too hungry. That little internal dialogue made Pietr laugh his ass off mentally, and they put on their jackets to go shopping. The supermarket was only a few blocks away, and Matt was occupied with talking to Pietr. He blocked his fellow sensitive humans without even thinking about it anymore, so it wasn't until he looked up that he noticed the stares they were getting. Most of them were pure fear when the people on the street saw Pietr. Then there was the lady waiting for the bus who kept her eyes trained on them. At first, it looked like she was drawn to Pietr like a mouse to the snake. Then she must have noticed how close Matt and Pietr were walking, and her eyes narrowed in disgust. Traitor! Matt shuddered. He'd never heard any actual words from another human before. Yeah. Pietr's voice was a little sad. Hate is a really strong feeling. You sometimes need stronger shields to avoid that. Matt's mind was reeling. He hadn't foreseen this at all. He had been so busy looking forward to all of the things he could do with Pietr in the city, all the places he wanted to show his mate. He should have seen this coming; he'd been terrified of the Himika before he was harvested, too. He was still trying to digest the woman's malicious word when they reached the supermarket. Himiko: Warrior - 22

You go find your meat. I'll take care of the breakfast stuff, Pietr informed him. It had turned out that Pietr had an overly creative approach to the ingredients in an American supermarket. It hadn't been a problem at the cabin, where they had gotten their food delivered and Matt had overseen the cooking. But after the first couple of times when Pietr had brought back less than appetizing combinations of food (pork with bananas and coleslaw on the side), he had been banned from buying anything but juice and yogurt if it wasn't on the grocery list. He had grumbled, but even he had to admit that the pork had been atrocious. Matt was wavering between a couple of quite expensive steaks and some much cheaper ground beef when he heard a low sound. He looked up and saw a man ducking behind a display of sauces, beckoning him over. Matt hesitantly got closer, looking to see if he could help the man. "Come on!" The older man agitatedly grabbed his arm and pulled at him. "Excuse me?" Matt put down his heels firmly; he wasn't about to be dragged anywhere. "He's not looking! You can get away now." Then Matt realized what the man meant, and his heart sank. "I'm not a prisoner. I'm with him." The man's face was confused. Matt could see the comprehension dawning on his face, and his expression turned into one of pure disgust. The man spat on the floor in front of Matt and turned away. Matt stood, his feet glued to the floor, and stared at the gob of spit on the floor. In the middle of a supermarket. Somehow, that made the whole situation even more absurd. Himiko: Warrior - 23

However, when he looked up, nobody was laughing. There were hastily turned heads, but he still registered the barely hidden revulsion. Matt obviously hadn't thought about the consequences of a simple thing like going to the supermarket with a Himiko. *** Pietr was almost oblivious to the hate and fear that met them wherever they went, but Matt couldn't ignore the stares and the glimpses of hostile thoughts he got from the few sensitive humans around him. He told himself that he had to get used to it, but it was still hard. A couple of days after he returned to work, he met Steve again. Matt had been making an effort to ignore his employees' hostility, which basically meant ignoring them completely. He waved at Steve when he saw the man in the lobby, relieved to have someone to talk to on his lunch break. "Hello. Up for lunch today?" He smiled, the concept of not eating alone a welcome change. "Uh, hi. I'm, well, I'm afraid I'm busy." Steve didn't meet his eyes, and Matt felt the smile leaving his face. "Yeah, I guess you are. Listen, shouldn't you at least check out for yourself if I've been brainwashed or not?" His anger was in vain, though; Steve hurried away from the elevators, saying something about having a meeting in town. Matt tortured himself by walking past the elevators and waiting in a dark corner. Sure enough, Steve returned after a couple of minutes, carefully looking around before entering the elevator. Matt didn't reveal himself. There was a fine line between selftorture and public humiliation. *** Himiko: Warrior - 24

A couple of days later, Matt was so exhausted when he got home that he didn't even notice Pietr at first. He was studying a story in the paper while taking off his jacket when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Jesus!" He jumped. Why the fuck are you shielding from me? Pietr was more hurt than angry. I was? I didn't realize. It took an effort to let go of his shields, even if it was to let Pietr in. Well, don't. Pietr pushed in close, hugging him. Matt fought to get out of the jacket, and then he just leaned. Tough day? They all are. He was losing his optimism. If this was the way the humans were going to treat him, then he felt less and less interested in them. You are human, Matt. Yeah? Matt pulled back. Define human. Matt, come on. The worry was clear in Pietr's mind, but Matt didn't have the energy to deal with it at the moment. He was sick and tired of this. When he went out with Pietr, the people around him looked at him with pity at first when they assumed that he was a prisoner of the Himiko next to him. When they realized that wasn't the case, their compassion turned into disgust. His former friends and acquaintances refused to even talk to him, and his business was suffering. It was exhausting, and Matt found himself pulling more and more into himself. It was unhealthy to say the least, but he didn't know how to get through the day if he didn't. At least he was home now. That was all he longed for during the day in the office: to be able to close the door behind him and be alone with Pietr. Pietr sometimes Himiko: Warrior - 25

half-heartedly suggested that they go to the movies or something like that, but Matt couldn't bear the thought of the stares and the disgust they would encounter if they did. Matt, we have to talk about this. You can't keep on this way. To Matt's relief, the doorbell sounded. Who the fuck is that? They hadn't exactly had many visitors since they moved in, only their Himika friends, Robbie and Aki. And they always called before coming over. Matt opened the door. "I have a delivery." Oh, yes, the groceries. Matt signed for the delivery, and the guy handed over the bags and was on his way again. You ordered our groceries online? Pietr was surprised as he followed Matt into the kitchen. Yes. But why? I don't want to go out. There was sadness in Pietr's mind when his mate realized what Matt had done. Come on, Matt. You shouldn't isolate yourself like this. Pietr came over and hugged him from behind. Matt leaned back for a moment; then he went on with unpacking their groceries. It's better than the alternative. Matt could tell that Pietr wanted to say something, the worry clear in his mind. Pietr really was concerned and had tried helping. It turned out that Robbie lived pretty close to Matt's apartment when he didn't stay at the clinic, and he visited them regularly. Matt knew that Pietr was talking to him about their situation. But neither of them could Himiko: Warrior - 26

change the way humans felt toward the Himika, and the constant hostility was taking its toll on Matt. Even Robbie's easy-going temper and the Himiko's obvious happiness with Aki weren't enough to tear Matt's barricades down entirely. He guarded himself carefully these days, and he didn't let anybody but Pietr close. Matt knew that Robbie worried almost as much as Pietr, but he couldn't find a way to reassure them that he was okay. Mostly because he wasn't so sure about it himself. Instead of speaking, his mate gently took the cans out of his hands, put them down on the kitchen counter, and turned him around. It's going to be fine, Matt. I know everything sucks at the moment, but things are going to change soon. I promise you. There was a shadow of something Matt didn't quite register flowing through Pietr's mind. Then Pietr leaned in and kissed him. Matt closed his eyes, the feeling of Pietr's lips against his own chasing away his worries, and he desperately needed that. He reveled in it, opening his mouth and gently licking Pietr's bottom lip. He felt the flash of excitement in Pietr's mind, but his mate stubbornly pushed it down. Matt frowned and wanted to pull back. Pietr laughed in his mind. Just want it to last, stupid. Oh. Well. He guessed he could go for that. He opened his mouth a little more, and Pietr's tongue pushed in, softly probing as if asking for permission. Matt moaned and pushed closer, and his stupid alien laughed at him again. Will you shut up? When do you learn that you can't shut up a mind read… Oh, that's nice. Himiko: Warrior - 27

Yeah, Matt knew. The heavy need pooled low in Pietr's stomach when Matt let his hands run over the small of his back. More. Matt wanted to grin, but he was busy kissing and fondling and rubbing. Keeping one hand on Pietr's ass, he reached down and grabbed Pietr's dick. Ohh… That was more like it. Listen to Pietr shut up. You're not making sense, honey. Jesus. Would the man never... "Oh, shit." Matt let his head fall back as Pietr kissed his neck and ground into him, hard. Then there was a nip, right under his ear where it always made his knees turn into jelly, and he held Pietr's head close and ground right back. "Mmm…" God, this was good. Completely lost in the feeling, Matt protested when Pietr pulled back. But his mate showed him a mental image of a nice, soft bed, and then Matt went straight into their bedroom. Very cooperative. Matt tried to scowl, but the fact that he was hastily undressing did ruin his attempt at being offended. Then he got lost in watching Pietr undress. It just never got old. Looking at the smooth skin and knowing exactly how it would feel to touch it, how the muscles in Pietr's stomach would jump when he ran a hand too lightly down the sensitive skin, how Pietr's cock would swell at the same time. And then there was Pietr's arousal, growing as his mate felt Matt's thoughts. It was a heady feeling. Yeah? Then do something about it, will you?

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Matt smiled and reached out a hand. When Pietr took it, he pulled his mate with him, and they landed in an unorganized heap on the bed. Goal-oriented. I like it. Matt laughed, but then he got busy with the amount of naked skin within his reach. Pietr stretched up a little when he let a hand slide over Pietr's belly, like a cat being caressed. Come on, Matt. I want you. Matt pulled Pietr close, taking his mouth. The lightness rapidly gave way to a frantic need of sooner, closer, harder. More. He needed more. I have you, Matt. I have you. Matt could hear the lube, and then he felt the wet sensation of Pietr rubbing it around his hole and pushing in. It was good, but he didn't want just good. He wanted to be filled and owned and safe. Matt whimpered against his will when he revealed that; he had been hell bent on being strong. I don't need you strong. I just need you. With those words, Pietr pushed into him. Oh, God. It was too soon, and his muscles burned in protest. And yet, it wasn't soon enough, simply not enough, and Matt reached down and pulled Pietr deeper until he was full. Completely. Complete. Pietr moaned when he heard that thought and wrapped his arms around Matt, slowly sliding out and pushing back in. Matt wrapped his legs around Pietr, holding on tightly and kissing Pietr. I love you, Matt. Matt knew, could feel it surrounding them and flowing through every one of their movements. Pietr set up a steady rhythm, and each thrust drove the feeling of Himiko: Warrior - 29

belonging, of being one, to a new height. The boundaries between them blurred, and their pleasure grew and grew until Matt -- or was it Pietr? -- cried out, and the climax took them and shut out everything else, encompassing them in a burning, cleansing fire of pure satisfaction. Matt kept holding on for a long, long time, the close contact with Pietr everything he needed. Everything that made him whole. Thank you. Pietr's inner voice was quiet, grateful. Matt just nodded and gently kissed the side of Pietr's neck. He would be okay. As long as he had Pietr, he would be okay.

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3 Matt was deep in thought when he left work that evening. It was Friday, and he had given his employees the afternoon off, leaving him a blessedly empty office in which to get some work done. He still relished the work; something as simple as an extension to a school or an administration building thrilled him. It wasn't just the aesthetic side of it, even though that was important. He also loved adjusting all the technical specifications to make one coherent, well-working building. It was like a giant puzzle, the pieces consisting of the demands made by the owner of the building, the future users, and his own aesthetic ambitions. He was still thinking about the possibility of incorporating an extra entrance for his current project when he saw two men. They were walking toward him in the shadows along the pathway to the parking lot. The men were clad almost identically in black trousers and shirts, and he guessed it was their outfits that had caught his attention. Just before they got into the light from the lamppost, they pulled on black ski masks. Matt turned around to run, but there were two men behind him as well, dressed like the other two. He halted, reaching his arms out to the sides in a gesture that was meant to be appeasing. "I don't have anything worth stealing," he said. He had a feeling that they weren't there for his wallet, though. You didn't dress up like that and call three of your friends to rob random people of their spare cash. One of the men stepped closer, and with a shock, Matt realized that he knew the figure. Jones and Matt Himiko: Warrior - 31

had dressed up as robbers for a costume party once when they couldn't come up with a better idea for a costume, and Jones had even worn the ski mask one very memorable night in bed. "Don't do this to me. Fuck, Jo--" Matt felt a hard punch in his back, making the pain soar through him. He tried to turn around, but the man next to Jones was too quick, and he got a blow to his head that almost knocked him over. Matt shook his head to clear it. He tried to use his mental powers to defend himself, but the blow to his head made his mind sluggish. All he could think to do was lifting up his bag to protect himself. It did block a punch from Jones, but Matt got another in the side, making him lose his breath. He fought hard to stay upright, knowing that it would get really bad when he couldn't keep standing anymore. Then the blows started raining down, and it was only a matter of time before his knees gave out and he sank to the ground. It didn't stop there; the punches turned into kicks, one of them making a horrible crunching sound as the boot hit his ribs. He cried out, and it was only then he realized that he had been quiet until now. "Yes, make the fucker scream." It was Jones' voice, and it was Jones who kicked him in the head, making the world go gray and quiet. The only thing he registered were the flagstones under him, hard and cool where he rested his face, but there was no sound, no pain anymore. His head eventually cleared, though, and he saw that the men were gone. Only Jones was still there, mask off. His former friend pulled roughly at Matt's hair, forcing his head up. "See, that's what happens to people who fuck aliens. Fucking freak!" Jones spat, most of it hitting Matt in the Himiko: Warrior - 32

face. Then he slammed Matt's head into the ground and walked away. Matt couldn't move, his brain not remembering how to make his limbs work. The only sound he heard was his own labored breathing; something in his chest wasn't functioning as it should, and he wasn't getting enough air. It felt horribly wrong. He finally managed to move an arm, trying to get it under him to get up. The pain in his chest and shoulder was overwhelming, tearing through him, and he was lost in pain, was nothing but pain. Help me! Pietr, help me. It hurts so much! He cried out for his mate with all of his mental powers, desperately hoping that Pietr was near enough to hear him. Then he faded, all energy spent. *** "Lie still, now. Don't try to move." Matt could feel the worry pouring out of the woman next to him. He groaned, the pain too bad to keep quiet. "You'll be fine." Matt could sense that she was lying to calm him down. "I've already called an ambulance; just lie still." "No ambulance. Pietr." It hurt to speak and it hurt to breathe, and the thought of humans close to him, poking him and staring at him, was intolerable. "Don't let them get me." He managed to open his eyes. The woman was kneeling next to him, dressed like a corporate something. Someone else working late. Please, Pietr. There wasn't much force behind his cry, and he doubted that it would have any effect. He was all alone. "No, you're not. I'm here, and the ambulance will be here in a minute." The woman was worried, and it took Himiko: Warrior - 33

Matt several moments to figure out that he must have spoken out loud. It took real effort to turn his head toward her. "Pietr." His mind was sluggish, and he couldn't put the words together to ask her to call his mate. "They'll get in touch with your emergency contact at the hospital. Don't worry." With a shock, Matt's dazed mind remembered that he had long ago put down Jones as his emergency contact. He struggled to get up, the pain shooting through him. The woman tried to keep him down without hurting him, and her gentle hold was enough to hold him still. He couldn't breathe, couldn't fight the way he wanted to. Don't move! Pietr wasn't quite here yet, but the knowledge that his mate was close was enough to make Matt cry out in relief. The woman mistook it for pain, and she tried to calm him down again. Matt was oblivious to her efforts, though, the feeling of his mate all he could concentrate on. "You can't go near him! Not now, he's hurt!" The woman was frightened, but she still stood up, trying to block Pietr's way. Matt briefly thought that she must be quite brave to get in the way of a Himiko; then he had Pietr's arms around his head and the pain was no longer his alone to carry. It hurts so much. I can't breathe. Matt wanted to tell Pietr what had happened, but he couldn't collect his muddled thoughts. I know, baby, I know. Don't move; just lie here while I hold you. Pietr was angry and worried, and Matt just let go and did as Pietr told him to, letting his eyes slide shut. The pain was almost bearable when he didn't have to hold it together all by himself. Himiko: Warrior - 34

There was a piercing noise somewhere close to him, and the sound tore into his pain, the feeling excruciating. It finally stopped, but then there were foreign hands on him, human hands, and it was unbearable. Matt cried out, trying to avoid being touched, and he could hear agitated voices around him. The pain and the confusion were overwhelming, and he felt himself drifting away. *** When he came to again, he was in the hospital, being wheeled into a bright white room. "Male, in his thirties, unconscious, multiple fractures to ribs, clavicle, and cheek. BP low, showing signs of shock." "Pietr?" Matt tried to sit up, and cried out when the pain tore through him. He gasped, trying to force enough air into his lungs, but they didn't work properly. The tube in his nose didn't help at all. "Don't try to move. Lie still, Matt." There was a woman pressing him down. It hurt, and the contact was too close, humans all around him. He fought harder, desperate to get to his mate. "You're making it worse! I only need to touch him while you examine him." Pietr's voice was somewhere outside the room, and Matt reached out for him. It made his head hurt even worse, and he heard Pietr cursing out loud. Then Pietr was at his side, holding his hand, and Matt clung to the contact. There were loud voices all around him, and he groaned. Shh, please? He couldn't find the right words, couldn't get past the fog in his brain. Himiko: Warrior - 35

"I'm his doctor. Please let me through." The voice was familiar, and then he felt Robbie's careful hands on him. "He needs you to be quiet!" Robbie's voice carried through the room, and finally, the noise let up. "He's to be treated like a Himiko; he's got special needs." Someone in the background said something, and Robbie answered, sounding irritated. "He's recently undergone brain surgery, and he still suffers some aftereffects from it." The effect of a Himiko lying was dizzying. What Matt heard with his mind and with his ears didn't match, and it made his head spin. He got a clear feeling why it was difficult for a Himiko to lie to another Himiko. Matt felt Robbie carefully ease his way into Matt's mind, so cautiously. "Oh, your head hurts, doesn't it?" There was compassion in Robbie's voice. "Can you open your eyes, Matt?" Matt hadn't realized that he had closed them again. He opened them, groaning when the glaring light made the pain flare. "Yeah, I'm sorry, but I have to see something. This is the best way." There was more light, and Matt squeezed his eyes shut again. Robbie let him. "Help him like this while I examine him." Matt felt Robbie show Pietr how to wrap himself around Matt's sore mind, soothing some of the pain and confusion. Then Robbie did a strange thing, almost like he was going inside Matt's body. Matt started, trying to get away both mentally and physically, but Pietr was there right away. It's okay, baby. Robbie's helping you. Healing you. The place in Matt's side where the pain had been excruciating suddenly got warm, then very hot, and it Himiko: Warrior - 36

felt as if something inside his body was moving on its own accord. The feeling was strange, and he tried to fight it. However, Pietr kept him from struggling, and slowly, the pain faded. He could suddenly get real breaths into his lungs, and the air felt so good. "That will help him a bit." Robbie's voice sounded weak, and Matt opened his eyes. "There you are." Robbie swayed a bit, his eyes looking unfocused for a moment, but he smiled when Matt looked at him. "Don't worry, you'll be fine. That was your worst injury. Just try not to use your mind too much, okay?" Matt was going to nod, but his eyes fell shut again. Robbie patted his arm, and Matt could hear the Himiko talking to the nurses and doctors around him. The sounds got blurry, though, his ability to focus on any one sentence gone. It was enough to almost make him panic. I have you. Don't worry. Pietr wrapped himself closely around Matt's mind, gently protecting him from the sounds and sights of the room and easing him. "His pulse is slowing down." The woman was too close to him, and he frowned, trying to turn away and gasping when it tore at his collarbone. "He's calming down; it's a good thing. As long as his mate keeps close to him, he'll be fine. If you separate them, you run the risk that he'll go into shock," Robbie said. "His mate?" The woman's voice sounded skeptical. "Yes. Big guy there. I need to sit down." Matt opened his eyes just in time to see his doctor sway and stumble before two of the people in the room caught Robbie and helped the Himiko into a chair.

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Robbie? Matt tried to reach out, but his energy kept slipping out between his fingers, and Robbie's mind was only a vague blur of fatigue. He needs Aki. "I know, baby, and he'll get him. Just lie still, don't worry." Pietr's voice was firm. Is this like when I overdid it? Can't I use my mind? Matt's thoughts were all over the place. "You should just relax. Stay with me, like this." Matt felt how Pietr gently cradled his mind, keeping him still and safe without demanding anything of him. He relaxed a little; this he could do. "Yes, like that." Pietr held on to his hand. "Still hurts." It did; now that he could breathe again, his collarbone hurt like hell, and there was something not right about his face. "It probably does. I'll get you something for the pain in a second," the nurse responded. Matt could feel this nurse very clearly; she was scared because of the presence of Himika, but she stubbornly refused to show it. "How's your breathing?" "Fine. But my shoulder hurts, and my face..." Matt reached up to get the tube out of his nose. "No, don't remove it, your oxygen levels are..." Her voice faded as she looked at one of the monitors surrounding his gurney. She looked back at him, confused. "I thought you had broken ribs? Your oxygen levels were very low when you came in. I don't understand..." "He's got a broken cheekbone and collarbone, the EMT said. But his ribs are just sore from the beating." Pietr warned him to keep quiet, and Matt did as he was told. It was easier, anyway. Himiko: Warrior - 38

The confusion was clear in the nurse's mind, but she shook her head. "I must have misheard him. Now, we'll get you something for the pain right after we've looked at you. Dr. Wilson, if you could come over here?" The doctor reluctantly got closer, eyes filled with unease as he looked from Matt to Pietr. His professionalism got the better of him, though, and he started carefully examining Matt. It hurt when the doctor touched his chest, and Matt couldn't keep back his groan when the pain tore through his shoulder. Pietr growled when his mate sensed Matt's pain. The doctor pulled back, hands up as if to defend himself. "I will have to ask you to step outside if you behave threateningly." Matt could hardly hear the fear in the nurse's voice. Matt could feel Pietr making an effort not to shout. Then he nodded abruptly. "I'm sorry. It's not easy to see him in pain." "He won't be for much longer. Especially not if you let us do our work. Dr. Wilson?" The doctor reluctantly lowered his arms and stepped closer again. The nurse had never moved. Matt squeezed Pietr's hand as the doctor finished his examination. It hurt when he touched Matt's stomach, but it didn't feel as wrong as it had before. "I want to have a CT scan of your face, your shoulder, and your abdomen. Your left clavicle is probably broken, and I have a strong suspicion that your cheekbone might be, too. We'll get the scan and see if you need surgery." "No! You can't knock me out." The memory of Pietr crying after Matt had passed out during his training at the clinic was still much too clear in Matt's mind, even in his current state. Himiko: Warrior - 39

"Don't worry, baby." Pietr wasn't concerned, and it calmed Matt a little. "If you need surgery, we'll figure it out. We can go to the clinic if we have to." I'll need enough Valium to sedate an elephant, but we'll make it. Matt would have laughed if his face hadn't been feeling so wrong. His attention was diverted, though, when Aki stormed into the room. "Where is he? You stupid little..." Aki rushed through the alarmed-looking people surrounding Robbie to get to his mate. The other Himiko was dozing in the chair, mind a blank haze of fatigue. In spite of his words, Aki's mind was filled with worry for his mate as he gently picked Robbie up. Robbie didn't stir except to cuddle closer to Aki. Aki sat down in the chair with Robbie on his lap, lost to the world around him. "I would just let him be, if I were you." Matt hadn't noticed another Himiko coming into the room. It was the administrator from the clinic, and he held the concerned medical staff back from Aki and Robbie. "I'm John Smith, medical advisor for the Himika. Please do not start any treatment without consulting me first; Matt has had complicated brain surgery and might react negatively to certain procedures." Matt could feel the relief in Pietr's mind as the other Himiko took over the job of communicating with the doctors. How is he? Smith included Matt in his question to Pietr. Robbie healed his worst injury, a broken rib that punctured his lung. He's still got a fractured cheekbone and collarbone, and he's beat up and concussed and scared, but I've got him. Matt didn't try to communicate; he just lay still and let Pietr take care of him. Smith didn't seem to find it strange. Himiko: Warrior - 40

Good. And Robbie? The administrator was effective and professional. He's just tired. If you can keep Aki from losing it, they'll both be fine. Yes, there is that. The administrator turned to Aki, who was cradling Robbie protectively. Status, Aki. Smith's order was brusque, and Aki looked up in surprise. He... He's used too much of his power. I'll help him. There was almost a questioning note to Aki's words. Good. Do it now. And don't burn yourself out; I'll be watching you. Matt could feel the bewilderment in Aki's mind, but the Himiko did as he was told. Matt had a clear feeling that the curt order was the only way of getting him to do anything but cling to his mate. Aki sat up a bit and began pouring his energy into Robbie's mind. Careful. I need you afterward. Without showing any fear, Smith stepped into the process, adjusting the flow of energy from Aki to Robbie. It was an action which could probably have cost him his life in another situation, but Aki complied with his demands, slowing the flow until it was a controlled trickle. Robbie stirred, his mind slowly coming back to life. Are you okay, Matt? With a start, Matt realized that he had been eavesdropping on everything that had happened. It wasn't very polite, but he didn't seem able to reel himself in. He'll be fine. He's confused and in pain, but he's hanging on. Pietr squeezed Matt's hand comfortingly as his mate answered for him. And don't worry, Pietr continued to Matt, your shields aren't that strong at the moment. You can't help it. Just rely on me. Himiko: Warrior - 41

I will. Matt had been shielding from the hostility surrounding him and trying to hide that from Pietr for so long now, and it was a relief to just give in without trying to protect himself or Pietr anymore. "Are CT scans and X-rays against your medical recommendations? Because if not, we would like to have a look at Matt's injuries," the nurse said to the administrator. Matt had a clear feeling that the nurse wasn't usually the one in charge of the trauma team, but she was apparently the only one with the guts to speak up. "Go ahead, but keep Pietr close to him for as much of the procedure as possible. It will keep Matt calm, and we don't want him to panic." I can mend his collarbone, too. Robbie's mental voice was weak. No! Aki's voice was fervent. The administrator's answer was almost as determined. No, you will not heal him any more, Robbie. Thank you for offering, but you have already used all the power you can spare in one day. Robbie slumped, but he didn't protest. Aki hugged him protectively, glaring at Matt. I'll be fine, Robbie. Don't worry. Matt managed to get that out in a reasonably coherent sentence, but that was as much as he could do. Just uttering those few words exhausted him, and he lay back, closing his eyes. "We'll give you some painkillers first, Matt, and then we'll get you into the scanner. Don't worry, it's not going to hurt, and your partner will stay with you most of the time." The nurse did something to Matt's IV, and the pain slowly started fading to a tolerable level. "Am I concussed?" He thought he'd heard somebody saying that earlier on. Himiko: Warrior - 42

"Yes. You hit your head when you were assaulted. Do you remember the attack, Matt?" The nurse's voice was calm and professional. Matt opened his eyes, less sensitive to the light now that the pain had gone down, and saw the nurse working with the things around him, moving an IV stand and adjusting a machine. "Yeah. They beat me up." Some of the things that had happened were a blur, but not Jones' words. Or his kicks. "They? There was more than one?" Matt had a feeling that the nurse was talking to him more to assess if he was able to answer than from a need to know what really happened. "Four." The world started moving around him, and he quickly closed his eyes again. "The police will be here later on; you should tell them that. First, we'll get some images of your injuries. Let me know if you need more painkiller, okay?" Matt didn't right then, but he definitely did when they lifted him onto the bed that went into the scanner. He cried out, the pain in his shoulder almost making him sick, and he could hear Pietr yelling something. There was some commotion around him, and then he drifted away. Maybe they had given him more drugs. He could still hear the scanner and sense Pietr leaving him to go into the next room, but it was all a bit distant, and he dozed off. *** He didn't wake up for real until later. He was lying in a bed in a hospital room, the lights low.

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"Pietr?" He reached out mentally for his mate and found Pietr asleep. He turned his head and saw the Himiko in a chair in the corner of the room. "He's sleeping; we gave him something to calm him down when you were drugged. He didn't take it well, even though you didn't go under completely." The administrator had been sitting in a chair at the end of Matt's bed. Now he stood up and came closer. "Are you feeling okay?" "I'm tired. Sore." Matt really wished that Pietr would wake up; he needed the comfort he found in his mate's mind. "You seem a bit more lucid." The administrator kept out of Matt's mind. Matt didn't think it would take much to penetrate his shields at the moment, so it could only be out of some kind of politeness. "I want to go to the clinic." Matt kept his voice as firm as he could. The administrator raised his eyebrows. "My clinic? There aren't any patients there at the moment, but..." "There or the house in the woods. I don't want to live in the city anymore. Can we wake him up?" He really needed Pietr. "I... Yes, of course. We'll talk about this later." The administrator turned to Pietr. "No. I will go. I'll find somewhere else if you don't want me there. Can you shake him? I can't use my mind right now." His mental powers didn't work properly. It had been all right when Pietr was there to shield him, but without his mate, Matt was freaking out. What? What's wrong? Pietr woke up with a start as Smith shook him. He looked around, confused, thoughts muddled with sleep and drugs. "Sleep with me?" Matt reached out an arm for Pietr, and his mate got up right away. Himiko: Warrior - 44

"I'll just hurt you, baby." Pietr bent over his bed, kissing Matt's forehead. "You won't. We'll just sleep." Pietr was tired enough to comply, taking off his shoes and carefully edging into bed next to Matt. It hurt when Matt had to move to make room for him, but it was worth it when Pietr was lying close, the warmth from his body soothing. Matt relaxed, showing Pietr how much better he made Matt feel. You're welcome. Sorry for being so tired. Pietr was almost asleep again. "It's okay. I need to sleep, too." The last thing Matt heard before he fell asleep was the door closing as the administrator left the room. *** "I want to go back." Matt didn't know how many times he had said that by now, and he was getting a headache again. He knew that he played an important role to the Himika, that the Himika had a reason for harvesting humans and giving them the operation. He even thought it was a good reason; humans and Himika desperately needed to gain a better understanding of one another. Giving humans the operation that taught them how the Himika interacted was the best way of doing that. The only way. That was why Matt had accepted the operation -well, he might not have been able to avoid it even if he had said no, but he had accepted it. For that very reason. Then came his unexpected bonding with Pietr, which put Matt in the unique situation of being a potential link between humans and Himika. Because of that, he had been suffering for months, trying to live a normal life Himiko: Warrior - 45

and showing his fellow humans that the Himika weren't monsters. But he hadn't succeeded, and he was done suffering. That was why he refused to change his mind. "It won't happen again, Matt. You tell the police who did it, and they will arrest the assailants." The administrator had been trying to convince him to stay in the city for more than twenty minutes now. The Himiko seemed very determined, but Matt was adamant. He turned his head and looked calmly at Smith. "I'm not staying here. It might not happen like this again, but then something else will. I am going away. The only question is if you'll help me or if I'll have to find somewhere for us to stay on my own." Pietr had kept in the background, staying neutral. Matt knew that Pietr didn't necessarily agree with him, but the Himiko's mind was filled with compassion and understanding when he spoke. "Listen, he's getting tired, and that's not good for him right now. Let us go back to the clinic or to the cabin until he's recovered. Then we can talk about it again." Pietr sat down on the edge of the bed, letting Matt curl up close to him. The physical contact felt good. The administrator made a resigned gesture with his hand. "All right. I'll talk to the doctors to find out if he has to be monitored at the clinic or if you can have the cabin. I'm not sure I'll ever get Robbie out of Aki's arms again, anyway." He shook his head, muttering something to himself as he left. I know you think it's a bad idea. Matt could communicate mentally now, although it took a lot of effort. I don't, actually. Pietr hugged him. I think you should have peace and quiet to recover, and the cabin is a nice Himiko: Warrior - 46

place for that. But stop using your mind; you're getting tired. "Yeah. Can I sleep a little?" Matt had already closed his eyes. Yes. It'll be good for you. Pietr did something that made the head of the bed lower, and Matt stretched out, sighing and closing his eyes. He felt a gentle kiss on his forehead and let himself doze off. *** Matt was awakened again by the nurse from yesterday entering the room. Pietr was gone; Matt reached out for him and found him in a room down the hall, talking about something concerning the cabin. Matt let him know that everything was all right and turned to look at the nurse. "How are you feeling?" She checked a machine next to him. "Okay, I guess. It hurts, and I'm tired, but it's okay."

"Good. I'll remove this." She started disconnecting

the tube leading to a bag on the IV stand next to his bed.

When she had gotten the needle out of Matt's hand, she lowered her voice. "Is there anything else I can do for you? Do you need help?" She looked imploringly at him, and Matt knew what she meant. "I'm fine, but thank you." The nurse eyed Matt doubtfully, and he got the uncomfortable feeling that she didn't believe a word he said. "They're good people, okay? And he's mine; I don't want to change that." The nurse didn't looked convinced. "Take this." She gave him a card. "If you need help, or just need to talk, then call this number. You can ask for me; I'm Carla." Himiko: Warrior - 47

"Thanks." It would have been ungrateful not to take it, even though Matt didn't need a number for any kind of shelter. "Listen, how bad are my injuries?" He had been kind of out of it yesterday. Carla narrowed her eyes. She didn't seem too happy with his change of subject. Matt suddenly realized that he wasn't reading her as clearly as he had yesterday. It was a relief that his brain was recovering; it had been scary to be that open. "You'll be sore for a while, but both fractures are uncomplicated. The collarbone may take some time to heal, but it will eventually. Just don't overexert yourself. The same goes for your head. Your concussion isn't severe; if you take it easy, you'll be fine." She hesitated. "I wonder about your rib, though. I saw the images from the scan. You have some hemorrhage just under one rib. The one that the EMT said was broken." Carla looked questioningly at Matt. "I got kicked." He didn't know how to explain it. He hadn't even known that Robbie could do that. Claiming that aliens with healing powers had cured him probably wasn't going to get him out of the hospital any faster. Or at all. Besides, that wasn't his secret to tell. "Yes, but the bleeding is under the rib, as if the rib had punctured the lung. Only there was no puncture when we scanned you." Matt shrugged, and immediately found out that that was a very bad idea. He groaned from the pain, and felt Pietr reaching out for him. Are you all right? At the same time, the nurse asked the same question. "Tried to move my shoulder. Fuck, it hurts." He gasped, trying to cope with the pain. "Don't you think that was a stupid thing to do with a broken shoulder?" Pietr was in the doorway, a little out Himiko: Warrior - 48

of breath as he took in the scene. Then he came over, helping Matt sit up to take the pressure off the broken shoulder. "Fuck you." It was good to lean on Pietr, the pain going down a bit. "I have a strong suspicion that's against hospital policy, baby." Mate with a big mouth. In a weird way, it made Matt feel better. He didn't like being coddled. "I'll get you a sling to support your arm. Hold on." The nurse left the room. "I'm not letting go." Pietr's words were quiet. "Good." Matt could do this if only Pietr was there. You feel better, baby. Pietr held him still, hugging him as tightly as he could with Matt's bruises. I think I am. I just need to rest, then I'll be fine. Pietr's mind was filled with tenderness as he held Matt, and Matt took in his care. It was almost a disappointment when Carla returned with the sling and Pietr had to pull back. Pietr didn't let go entirely, though, and it got quite awkward when Carla and Pietr competed to hold Matt's arm and back to get the sling around him and secure it. The nurse lost, and Pietr was very satisfied with that. Matt shook his head indulgently. You're so immature. Maybe. But I won. Pietr laughed, and Matt couldn't help do the same. Carla looked from Matt to Pietr, eyebrows raised. "Sorry. He's just being... Pietr." The nurse huffed and stood back. "Well, can he help you lie down? Because you should rest until we discharge you." "I'm getting out of here?" Matt couldn't keep the eagerness out of his voice. His sore shoulder was in a Himiko: Warrior - 49

sling and Pietr was with him; now he just needed to get away from the hospital. "You are. We're going back to the cabin." Just you and me. There was anticipation and a deep affection in Pietr's mind as he helped Matt lie down. Carla watched how carefully Pietr helped Matt, the Himiko gently supporting him until he could stretch out, and there was a look of almost reluctant understanding on her face. Matt smiled a little at her reaction. "That's great. Do you know when I can go?" "As soon as we get the paperwork done. So not for another couple of hours." She didn't sound particularly fond of hospital bureaucracy. "Okay. I'll just nap until then." Matt closed his eyes, cuddling into Pietr's mind. His mate laughed indulgently and took his hand as he fell asleep.

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4 The ride to the cabin was quiet. Matt put the seat back and rested, the low sounds of the car engine and Pietr's mind, focused on driving, a peaceful background for his doze. It seemed as though no time at all had passed before they were at the cabin. Or rather, he saw as he opened his eyes when the car stopped, before they were at the place where there now was a roadblock and two Himiko guards. Do you have any ID? The guard's tone of voice was brusque, almost hostile. Matt could see Pietr's eyes narrowing as he got out an ID card. You have a human in your car? The guard hadn't looked at the card. Instead, he was looking derisively at Matt. I do. He happens to be my human. Matt had the very strange sensation of Pietr growing mentally, unfolding his power until he came across as very big and very intimidating. He's my mate, and he's hurt. The guard looked at the card and quickly looked back at Pietr. I apologize. I didn't mean to offend. He swallowed nervously. Pietr just nodded curtly, not condescending to answer any further, and the bar across the road was quickly lifted to let them continue. That wasn't unimpressive. Pietr was just grumbling something instead of answering Matt, still annoyed with the guard's question. They drove the last couple of miles, and when they finally arrived at the cabin, Matt got out of the car, taking in the silence after the sound of the car and the Himiko: Warrior - 51

traffic. There was a gentle rustle of the wind in the trees, but otherwise, it was blissfully quiet. And totally devoid of other people, Himiko or human. He took a deep breath. Watch it. Your rib is still sore, even if Robbie healed you. It's not too bad. Matt could feel his shoulders relaxing, the tension slipping away now that he was here. The fractures still hurt, but the physical pain was manageable after getting away from the stress of so many people being so close to him without being able to shield properly. You can rest all you need to out here. Pietr had stepped close, embracing him from behind and carefully avoiding his sling. Are you going to explain to me why you didn't want to talk to the police? Matt would have shrugged, but he remembered not to at the last minute. It wouldn't have done any good. But he beat you up, baby. Pietr had had no problems locating Matt's memories of Jones, and his mate knew that Matt had recognized his former boyfriend. He did. But what would happen if I did tell the police? Either they would catch him, and the news would be filled with the outcry against someone going to prison for what most people would love to do. Or they wouldn't catch him, because the proof wouldn't be "strong enough" or he'd magically provide an alibi or whatever reason they would have to make up to let him go, and then people would learn that it's perfectly safe to beat up those associating with Himika. It was a lose-lose situation. That didn't upset Matt; it was just the way it was. But he beat you up! Pietr's mind was filled with a rage he had hidden well until now. Himiko: Warrior - 52

He did, and it sucks. But I'll be fine, and I've learned not to get into that kind of situation again. You're staying out here? Pietr's inner voice was filled with disbelief; Matt had deliberately not formed the thought until now. It didn't mean he wasn't intent on doing so. I am. I won't keep you from doing whatever you want, and I'll go with you if you have to travel. But I'll set up business out here and use the Internet to stay in touch with the people I'll be working with. Matt hadn't made the decision out of fear or defeat; he was just very intent on not putting himself in a situation like that ever again. Pietr was at a loss for words. It was probably the first time Matt had experienced that. We'll talk about this again when you get better, okay? And you have to rest now; you're getting tired. Matt nodded. Okay. But I won't change my mind. Pietr just held on to him, letting him rest his tired mind and sore body in his mate's embrace. The Himiko was caring and considerate, and the worry in Pietr's mind was subsiding. You're coping really well, you know? Pietr tried to hide the pride in his inner voice when he said that; he didn't seem to think it was an appropriate feeling at the moment. Shit happens. I'll rest and recover and keep on living my life with you. It's not bad. Life with Pietr, wherever it was, was infinitely better than life without Pietr. Period. It would be very impolite not to be flattered by that, wouldn't it? Matt laughed; his mate was so open with his feelings for Matt. But I meant what I said: stop using your mind! You need to rest. With that, Pietr walked Matt into the house, Himiko: Warrior - 53

interrupting him every time he tried to communicate with Pietr mentally. "I'm going to be a harsh and unrelenting master, you know. I'll force you to relax and feel good every waking minute." Matt thought he could live with that. *** He definitely could, it turned out. During the first ten days or so, his mind felt too hazy to be much good for anything. It didn't matter, though; Matt rested and napped and cuddled up with Pietr to such a degree that he started envisioning himself as a big cat. A very big cat. And very un-furry. Pietr was laughing his ass off when he caught that image. But at least you're perfectly house trained. I think that's something you do with dogs, honey. Yeah? You could be a big... No, wait, I can't find any good insults incorporating a dog. Can we go back to the cats? We can go to you sleeping on the couch, big guy, Matt grumbled. He also cuddled in closer, of course. Couch time was good time. You could probably sell that slogan to somebody. Matt gave Pietr a whack. Hey! What happened to not making lumps in what you use as a pillow? Pietr's outrage combined with the way his mate pulled Matt closer was a little perplexing. You really need to find something to do. Matt opened his eyes as the thought settled in. He sat up, supporting his left arm on his leg. You do, you know? You need to get back to your job. Hrmph. Excuse me, what? Himiko: Warrior - 54

Pietr's mental grumble was completely incomprehensible. The only thing Matt got out of it was a strong reluctance. I don't want to. His mate sounded as mature as a kid not wanting to go to school. I want to stay with you. No, you don't. You need to get input from somebody other than me. You're going stir crazy out here. Am not! Matt had to use all of his self-discipline not to say what he wanted about that remark. "Seven-year old" and "tantrum" were some of the words that came to mind. You keep forgetting that I can hear what you're thinking! Are you sure your head wasn't damaged? Sleeping on the couch, remember? Pietr's response was even more incomprehensible this time. Matt had no idea how his mate managed that. He was not going to let Pietr distract him, though. I'm serious. You need something to do. Matt blinked. What do you actually do? He couldn't believe he hadn't asked this before. Pietr's work had just never been present in his mate's mind since they had bonded. This and that. Administration, mostly. "This and that"? You seriously expect me to be satisfied with that answer? There was a weird reluctance in Pietr's mind, and it made Matt all the more curious. A little worried, too. Come on, I want to know what you do. It's not important. Pietr sat up, too, now, but he didn't move in close like he always did. Matt frowned. Pietr had hidden the information about his occupation deep down in his mind, where Matt would have to use force to find it. It was the first time the Himiko had ever done something like that Himiko: Warrior - 55

deliberately, and it made Matt feel confused and a little lost. Why don't you want me to know what you work with? He poked Pietr mentally, mostly in fun. Pietr didn't react, though, didn't even look up. Matt got a cold feeling in his stomach. This is something I don't want to know, right? Pietr nodded. Then he looked up. Can't we just forget it? Matt shook his head. It was there now, like an elephant in the room. Come on; I'm sure it isn't that bad. Pietr didn't seem the least bit convinced, and he kept his silence. You have to tell me, Pietr. You know I can find out if I have to. Matt didn't want to, but he had always been able to find any information in his mate's mind, no matter how deeply Pietr had buried it. Please, don't. The naked fear in the quiet plea made dread fill Matt. Something was very, very wrong here. "You're really worrying me, Pietr. Tell me; it can't be any worse than what I'm making up right now." Pietr's shoulders fell, and he looked down in defeat. I'm in charge of the recruiting. His mind spoke more than his actual words. He hadn't just been some local boss; he had been a part of the coordination committee running the entire Earth invasion. Matt's mind went blank. "You what?" "I'm in charge of the recruiting. Or I will be again when I go back to work." Pietr didn't look up, and his mind was closed off. It should have hurt, but Matt was completely numb. "You did that? You did that to me?" The memories of his fear the day he was harvested came back to Matt, and for a moment, he was standing outside of the black Himiko: Warrior - 56

van again, certain that this was the end of his life. "That was your responsibility?" "Yes." Pietr didn't say anything else. Matt got up, stumbling slightly and clutching his arm when his shoulder screamed with pain at the abrupt move. "I need some air." He turned and went out the door, almost hitting the doorjamb with his bad shoulder. He could hear Pietr get up behind him and say something, but he didn't pay attention. He had to get out. His legs found the way automatically, the path to the oak one he had followed many times on his jogs. The ground under him seemed far away, and he stumbled more than once. When he tripped over a branch, he fell to his knees, and the abrupt movement jolted his broken bones. The pain in his face and shoulder finally tore him out of his numbness. Pietr was in charge of the harvesting. His mate was responsible for that. Matt remembered the screaming and crying people in the gymnasium where he had been brought shortly after being harvested, and he retched, his stomach trying to turn itself inside out. He could feel Pietr's worry through their bond, but he brutally blocked the connection, his disgust too strong to let Pietr in. He wiped his mouth and got up again, walking toward the oak tree. He was tired, the fatigue that was part of his recovery from the attack making his movements sluggish. But he couldn't go back to Pietr now, and he forced himself to keep walking until he reached the clearing with the big oak. He slumped down on the ground by the tree, his mind a jumble of thoughts. Pietr was the one who had caused the fear Matt had felt every time he saw a Himiko or heard about the kidnappings. With a shock, Matt realized that his mate Himiko: Warrior - 57

had caused those people to go insane, the ones who were kidnapped and came back psychotic. And it wasn't like the strategy of kidnapping humans was something the Himika agreed upon. Matt remembered his first conversation with Robbie, how the Himiko had been too scared of something to admit that he disagreed with the methods used to kidnap the humans. Pietr's methods. And it must have been Pietr who caused not only Robbie's fear, but Matt's as well. Not to speak of the fear of the entire human population. Pietr was the source of all of it. Matt reeled from the realization that his mate, the one he needed more than anything else, had been the one causing all this terror. Pietr had been cruel enough to plan all that and see it carried out. It was an unbearable thought. Matt's thoughts kept going back to the gymnasium, to the memory of the crying and screaming and catatonic people in there. And his own fear, which had turned into anger to enable him to survive it. He tried to do the same thing now, to summon enough anger to... To do what? He couldn't leave Pietr; neither of them would survive it, and he wasn't willing to sacrifice his life on top of everything else. He had already sacrificed his life as he knew it and maybe his humanity as well. Humans had tried to kill him just because he associated with the Himika. And there was no way back. He was bound to someone who had done something more horrible than Matt could fathom. Just the thought of Pietr was enough to make him sick again. He sat by the tree for hours, hugging himself and staring out at the forest surrounding him. He had no idea how much time had passed, and he started when a Himiko: Warrior - 58

movement at the corner of his vision tore him out of this thoughts. It was dusk, and his body was stiff when he tried to get up. "I don't think you should spend the night here." Pietr's voice was subdued, and he didn't try to reach Matt mentally. Matt nodded. He cringed when Pietr took hold of his good arm to help him up, though. Pietr froze. Then his mate pulled him carefully to his feet, avoiding all but the most necessary touch. The walk back to the cabin took forever. Matt was exhausted, his head hurting and his body so tired that he had no other choice than to let Pietr support him. It was either that or be carried, and Matt had no wish to be that close to Pietr. He felt Pietr flinch at that thought and pulled further back mentally. He couldn't bear being this intimate after what he had learned about his mate. Back at the cabin, Pietr helped him into the bathroom, turning on the water and leaving him alone to undress. He clambered into the tub and sat down, pulling his legs up and cradling his left arm while the water slowly rose around his body. The warmth took away the numb feeling and loosened his tense muscles. It also took away his defenses, and Matt bent his head and wept. He didn't do anything to stop it or to wipe his cheeks, just gave in to the misery and cried. His mate had betrayed him, and there was nowhere for him to go, no way to make this better. He was completely empty when Pietr came and helped him out of the tub later. He had stopped crying at some point, and now he let Pietr support him while he stepped out of the tub. He shrank away when Pietr tried to dry him, though. He noticed the pain on Pietr's face, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Himiko: Warrior - 59

He dried himself and got dressed. Then he stopped out of the bathroom, not knowing what to do. "There's some food. You should eat." Matt sat down without a word. He couldn't even tell what it was that he ate, only that it tasted like cardboard. When he had finished, he went into the bedroom and lay down, keeping his clothes on. "I'll sleep in the other bedroom." The quiet defeat in Pietr's voice hurt some part of Matt, but he pushed it down and ignored the feeling. It took a long time before he fell asleep. *** For the next couple of days, Matt avoided Pietr as much as possible. Which wasn't a lot; Matt was still so weak that he could hardly move. The long walk to the clearing in the woods had definitely been too strenuous for him, and he was sore and exhausted. He couldn't keep up the block against their mental connection all the time. His bruised brain was still too battered to do what he wanted most of all: to shut Pietr out entirely. The brief glimpses of Pietr's mind were enough to make it all start again, the disgust and sorrow over losing someone who had meant everything to him. His head was pounding all the time, the stress and mourning worsening the after-effects of the concussion. Pietr was there, but kept a certain distance all the time, looking defeated and worried. Even with the lack of contact, being this close was still almost unbearable for Matt, the sight of Pietr constantly reminding him what he had lost. It made him feel sick, making eating impossible, and that only made him feel worse.

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On the evening of the fourth day after Pietr told him, his mate came out to where Matt was standing on the terrace, finally breaking the silence. "I think you should talk to Robbie. You don't look well." Even through the block, Matt could feel how hard it was for Pietr not to check for himself how Matt was feeling, and how much his mate worried about him. "What does it matter?" Matt didn't know how to keep the apathy out of his voice, and he didn't care. "Matt, please." "You have no right to ask me to do anything!" Matt spun around so fast he got dizzy, but he refused to take Pietr's hand when he staggered. "You have no fucking right to do that." "I know." Pietr dropped his hand, looking both ashamed and pleading. "I know. But, please, Matt. You really don't look well." "Of course I'm not fucking well! I just found out you're everything I despised. I loved you, Pietr!" The anger welled up in Matt, its force so powerful that he almost choked. Pietr looked at him, eyes raw with helplessness and remorse. "I loved you! Pietr, I loved you." He couldn't breathe, and he clung to his anger, the only thing keeping him from breaking down. "You're a fucking monster." His voice broke. "I know." Pietr didn't protest, didn't do anything to defend himself. It only made Matt angrier, and he was dizzy with it now, his head pounding so hard that he was losing his ability to focus. "I fucking hate you! You're mine, and I hate you!" He was choking, and he didn't know if it was tears or dizziness that blinded him, made him stagger. Then Himiko: Warrior - 61

Pietr's arms were around him, and it was impossible to keep up his shields against the one he needed more than anything. He let his defenses down, throwing all of his anger and despair and disgust against his mate. Pietr took it all and held him tightly. He clung to his mate, fighting to breathe between the sobs. It felt so good to be united with Pietr again, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. He didn't want it to feel good, but it was Pietr. And Pietr was his. He rested his head in the crook of Pietr's neck, letting himself breathe in the scent of his mate for a long time after he had stopped crying. He refused to think about anything, refused to explore any of Pietr's feelings. Pietr slowly rubbed his back. "I think I need something to eat." His voice was raw from crying and shouting. Relief welled up in Pietr's mind, but his mate just nodded. "I'll make you something. A bit of painkiller would be good for you, too." Pietr pulled back and went to the kitchen, heating something up in the oven. He was keeping his feelings carefully out of the way. They sat down to eat, and the food actually tasted like something, in contrast to the last couple of days. Matt didn't talk, just ate his food. When he was done, Pietr handed Matt a pill, and he took it without protesting. He sat at the table while Pietr cleaned up, and he felt how the drug kicked in, taking away most of his pain and making him sleepy. "Time to go to bed." Matt blinked his eyes open, looking up at Pietr. Then he nodded and let Pietr help him into the bedroom. His mate lay down next to him, and Matt felt a brief flash of gratitude. Then he fell asleep. Himiko: Warrior - 62

5 His first impulse next morning was to reach out for his mate. Even as he extended his arm, though, he remembered what Pietr had done. Matt abruptly pulled his arm back. He lay down next to his sleeping mate, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't fathom what Pietr had told him. Matt had spent a long time coming to terms with the fact that the Himika weren't the monsters he had thought they were. Now it turned out that his mate really was a monster. Pietr had to be to have planned something like the kidnapping and torment of so many people. Matt closed his eyes in pain. It didn't add up; he couldn't imagine his gentle mate committing such atrocities. But Pietr had admitted to doing it, and Matt could feel that Pietr had been telling him the truth. He had no idea what to do next. Pietr would wake up in a moment, and then Matt would have to talk to Pietr, facing everything his mate had done. It didn't make matters easier that he only felt that way intellectually. Physically, the longing for his mate was ingrained in Matt's body. His mind stubbornly refused to give in to that desire yet. As a matter of fact, his mind refused to even acknowledge "yet" at all. When Pietr woke up, it turned out to be easier than Matt had thought. Pietr didn't go near him. It almost felt as if they had reached some kind of truce. Pietr kept a polite distance; he wasn't avoiding mental contact, but he wasn't letting any feelings show, either. Matt had always known before what his mate felt, but this time, he wasn't sure. It confused him. He could feel Himiko: Warrior - 63

that Pietr hadn't pulled back completely, but it was as if some parts of his mate were missing. Pietr was caring and very attentive, focused on Matt's every need, but apart from that, the Himiko never took the initiative in either physical or mental contact. It was a strange dance, and it wasn't even a day before Matt had tired of it. Patience had never been his strong suit, and his head was throbbing with the challenge of figuring out what was going on. "What exactly do you think you're doing?" Pietr looked up in surprise from where he had been pretending to read a book. He hadn't been; his eyes had been fixed on the same page while his mind had been blank. Matt had no idea why he was pretending like this. "I... I'm giving you what you need." Pietr had been speaking out loud all day, keeping their mental contact to a minimum. Matt's eyes narrowed. "And what do I need, according to you?" "You need me to be near so you won't get stressed about our bond stretching too much or for too long." "And that's all I need?" Pietr looked confused. "I think so." "What about an apology?" Pietr's shoulders fell, and he looked down. "There's no way an apology can make up for what I've done." His voice was quiet. "No, of course it can't, you idiot." Pietr looked at him. "But you can apologize for not telling me before." Pietr just shook his head. "No. I couldn't tell you." This was driving Matt insane. "You're not exactly doing anything to explain yourself." Pietr just shook his head, a stubborn look on his face. "I can't tell you." Himiko: Warrior - 64

He looked so miserable that Matt reached out for his mate mentally, a bit hesitant. Once again, he got that strange, superficial contact. Pietr was eager to care for him, but was keeping any feelings out of the way. "Why are you doing this?" Matt was exasperated. Pietr looked steadily at him. "It's all you need from me. I can't spare you from my presence, but at least I can limit it to a tolerable level of contact." "'A tolerable level of contact?'" Matt blinked. Pietr didn't. "Yes." Matt exploded. "What the fuck are you talking about?" He used all of his sorrow, all of his hurt to tear Pietr's defenses down and push deep into his mate's real feelings. Pietr didn't want to allow him entrance there, but his mate was too wary of hurting him to resist much. What he saw there stunned him. The sorrow was overwhelming, and so was the self-loathing. Pietr hadn't done what he had done without thought for the consequences. Each and every human destiny was etched into his mind, and so was the terror and the suffering of the people who had been harvested. Don't! Pietr cried out, desperate to hide his memories from Matt. This isn't your burden to bear. What the fuck do you mean by that? Matt was fuming with anger. How dare you hide from me! He tore deeper, relentlessly digging to see why his mate had been hiding so much from him. That was when he met the fear. Please, don't, Matt! But Matt had already seen it, seen how scared Pietr was about anybody finding out how he felt -- about Matt finding out how he felt -- because of what would happen then. They would kill you? Matt had to ask; he couldn't believe what he saw in his mate's mind. Himiko: Warrior - 65

You can't tell anyone! Pietr's mental voice was pure desperation. And me? They would kill me, too? Matt didn't even get scared; he couldn't believe it. Oh, believe it. Pietr's inner voice became bitter as well as desperate. He'll get rid of anyone who doesn't agree with the way things are done here. Who? Instead of the vague "they" from before, Pietr was talking about someone specific here. Matt couldn't tell who it was, though; he had come to realize that some things were hidden so deeply in Pietr's mind that even Matt couldn't get to them. Pietr stepped close, grabbing Matt's arms and holding on hard. Matt winced as the grip jarred his shoulder, but Pietr didn't let him go. I'm not telling you. Matt was about to protest, but Pietr wouldn't let him talk. It's for your own safety. The risk is smaller if you don't know. Matt could tell that Pietr was sincere. It still bothered him. But why? And how can you even do that? They had been so close for so long that it boggled Matt to learn that Pietr had been keeping a secret from him for all this time. You kind of hide it from yourself, too. And I did it to keep you safe. That's why I never found out what you do? Pietr nodded. Yes. It was safer that way. And his mate was willing to do anything to keep him safe. Matt felt as if his entire life had been turned upside down in the last couple of days. Again, you mean. There was a slight attempt at humor in Pietr's inner voice. Matt huffed. Yeah, again. You have a habit of that. He leaned close, and he could feel the incredulity in Himiko: Warrior - 66

Pietr's mind as he did so. Matt was a little surprised, too. He had just obeyed his body's desperate need to be close to its mate. Then he felt how Pietr's mind was filled with gratitude, and Pietr hugged him so tightly that he lost his breath. Hey, don't try to kill me, stupid! Pietr reluctantly loosened his grip. Again, you mean. A rueful laughter went through his mind. Hey, you haven't succeeded yet. Matt pushed as close as possible. Neither have I, come to think of it, even if I tried really hard a couple of times. Are you trying to say that we're equally big fuck-ups? It was such a brave attempt at getting back to normal that Matt could only hold on tightly. Well, you can't say that this has been boring. Pietr held on to Matt without answering. Matt could feel him trying not to ask what was going to happen now. The fear of the answer was clear in his mind. I don't know, Pietr. I've no idea what's going to happen. The one thing I do know is that you didn't do this voluntarily. Fuck, no. Pietr's inner voice was vehement. I'd do anything to be able to change what I did. But I wasn't strong enough, and at least I had some sort of control this way. It could have been worse. A lot worse. Matt shuddered. He didn't want to know what could have been worse than what the Himika had already done. No, you really don't. Pietr hugged him again. Matt was about to ask him something else when Pietr led him to the couch. You need to rest, Matt. Matt was about to protest, but he did feel exhausted, and his head was pounding. Himiko: Warrior - 67

You need to take it easy. You still have a concussion, and the last couple of days haven't been good for you. Pietr felt guilty about that, too. Matt reached out for him when he went to make dinner. We'll figure this out, Pietr. I'm not going anywhere. The words took Matt by surprise as well; he was still hurt, but he knew he couldn't let Pietr go. The relief in Pietr's mind was immense. Okay. Rest, then I'll get you something to eat. Matt nodded. That he could do. *** They spent the rest of the evening mostly in silence, Pietr taking care of Matt and being close to him. It felt good, and Matt's headache cleared up a bit now that he didn't have so much to worry about. Matt had to know more, though. Next morning, he sat Pietr down on the couch after breakfast. He had a lot of questions. You were in charge of the recruiting after the invasion? Matt still didn't know how to react to that. It's not an invasion. At least it was never intended to be. Pietr was quiet, the shame coursing through his mind at the thought of what he had done. I never meant it to go this wrong. The images in his head weren't nice: the fear in the eyes of the people being harvested, the feeling of losing yet another human to insanity when someone couldn't cope with the operation. Matt shuddered. Pietr hesitated when he felt Matt's reaction to his thoughts. Then he appeared to make a decision. There weren't that many casualties, Matt. I know the media published each and every one of them and a couple that weren't ours at all. We've only had three Himiko: Warrior - 68

fatalities and four people who escaped before we could help them accept their abilities. There are others who've got problems, but we're treating them, and they will make it. Matt frowned. But there were thousands who were harvested. Pietr shook his head. No. I know some people got that impression, but it was only a few hundred. I'm not trying to diminish my role in this, but I want you to know how it really was. No way. I'm sure it's a lot more than that. Matt couldn't believe this, but at the same time, he could feel that Pietr was telling the truth. I know. That's what fear does to people. And I'm deeply sorry about that. But I was fucking terrified! Pietr cringed mentally. I know. And I'm not saying that your fear wasn't substantiated; I'm just saying that you were scared. And not thinking clearly. Did I really get it that wrong? Matt put into words what Pietr was reluctant to say. Pietr shrugged, unwilling to concede that the extent of the Himiko threat might have been exaggerated by Matt's imagination. Maybe a bit, at least in your understanding of the extent of the harvesting. Again: that's what fear does to people. It's our fault entirely. But to get back to my job: Yes, I was in charge of the recruiting. Pietr seemed determined to get everything about his own role out in the open now. I planned the recruiting before we came here, and I was in charge of implementing and maintaining the procedures when we got here. It's all my responsibility. The feeling as Pietr pulled back, preparing for Matt to Himiko: Warrior - 69

shout at him, be disgusted with him, leave him, sent a surge of compassion through Matt. He straddled his mate and put his good arm around Pietr while taking his mate's hand with the other. I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere. I know you can't, but this isn't what you deserve. You wouldn't have chosen me if you knew. The shame in Pietr's mind was overwhelming. Shh. You probably wouldn't have chosen a human with a bad temper, either, but we're kind of stuck with each other now. In spite of everything, they were still bonded, and Matt was desperate to chase away the despair in his mate's mind. You're stuck with a life you never wanted, with a mate you never wanted. I... Some call me a murderer. You're not! Matt tightened his hold on Pietr, intent on comforting his mate. Did you want it to be this way? Did you want humans to go insane, to have them hate you like this? No! This is nothing like what I wanted, but humans and Himika need to get to an understanding, and the... he wouldn't let me change anything. The Assessor? The shock in Pietr's mind almost numbed Matt. I'm sorry, but it's not that hard to figure out. He is your leader, after all. How do you know that? This was one of those things that Matt had to think about. I just know. Pietr hadn't told him, it was just... there. Pietr was still surprised, but he continued his explanation. He's very eager to obtain his goal. Which is what? Himiko: Warrior - 70

It's... I don't know anymore. There was worry and trepidation in Pietr's mind, and it was clear to Matt that this was something he hadn't wanted to admit even to himself. In the beginning, it was the official mission statement. But now, I don't know. What is the official mission statement? You don't know? Pietr's mind was filled with incredulity. God, we've done nothing right. The Himiko took a deep breath. The official mission statement is to obtain a greater understanding between the two races in order to secure the survival of both. Especially for you; you're showing every sign of making the same mistakes that almost destroyed us. It was urgent that we meet. And now see how we fucked it up. Matt made a mental note to himself to get back to those mistakes later. What do you mean, you don't know what his goal is anymore? Pietr hesitated, and Matt could feel him plucking up the courage to say something he hadn't dared thinking before now. I'm not sure. I think he's going rogue. There was a dizzying number of connotations in that phrase, memories of something gone horribly wrong in the history of the Himika. He's out of control, and he's too powerful for any of us to stop. There wasn't anything Matt could do or say that would resolve the worries in Pietr's mind, but he could hold and comfort his mate, and he did. You're stuck with me, and we'll figure it out. There was an overwhelming gratitude in Pietr's mind, and the Himiko clung to Matt, taking in every comforting touch that Matt gave him. You really thought I would leave you, didn't you? Matt had difficulty believing what Pietr had felt. Himiko: Warrior - 71

Pietr was very quiet when he answered. You could have the chip taken out. Then it wouldn't be impossible for you to leave. Matt was speechless. Pietr had really thought that this might happen. I wouldn't, Pietr! It would hurt me so badly to be without you. Matt tried to hold back the tears that suddenly threatened to fall. Pietr tightened his arms around Matt, pouring comfort and gratitude into Matt's mind. And it would kill you! Pietr hadn't been able to hold back that image as he opened himself to comfort Matt. Pietr, look at me. Matt forced Pietr to look into his eyes. I'll never leave you. Ever. Not because I can't, but because you make me happier than I could ever be without you. Even when I get beat up or mess up or you turn out not to be perfect, I want to be with you. Do you want to be with me, too? Yes! There was outrage in Pietr's mind at the mere thought that the Himiko wouldn't. Good. Then no more talk about taking chips out, okay? It would probably kill me, too, anyway. Probably. Pietr's effort to be his old acerbic self was brave enough for Matt to lean in and kiss him. I would fuck your brains out to prove it to you, but I'm afraid I'm not up to it yet. It's okay, I can wait. You better. And one more thing. Matt looked into Pietr's eyes. We need to stop thinking that if we fuck up, the other one is going to leave. It's killing us. So, no more of that, okay? Yes, Mom. Matt raised an eyebrow. Do you really believe that's a wise strategy for getting me back in bed anytime soon? Himiko: Warrior - 72

Pietr shuddered when he realized the implications of his comment. God, no. I'll take that back. That's a first. There just might be hope for you still. Pietr's attempt to punish him for that remark was a kiss. Which, as revenge went, was rather pathetic. In every other sense, though, it was quite nice. *** Now that Pietr had finally told him about his job, it raised more questions. Pietr didn't want to go back, but he couldn't let anybody know how he felt about his work. Who's doing your job while you're away? Matt asked his mate. He was trying to be matter-of-fact, pushing what he felt about Pietr's job out of the way. There were only so many feelings he could face in a couple of days. Right now it seemed easier to be practical. Pietr was reluctant to even talk about it. Nobody, really. We have some routines by now, and everybody follows them. I think I'm stretching it, though. I was already asked to come back while we were in the city. Then go back. There was both outrage and disgust in Pietr's mind when Matt made that suggestion. Didn't you understand what I did? Yes, I understand. Been there, remember? Pietr winced, and Matt instantly regretted his words. In spite of his disgust, it hurt every time he felt Pietr's pain. He hurried to continue. I also understand that it would have been worse if you hadn't been there. Himiko: Warrior - 73

Pietr was still protesting, but Matt didn't give in. Can you honestly say that things are better when you're not there? No. Pietr was reluctant, but he couldn't lie. Are they better when you're there? Yes. Then you're going back. If not for any other reason than to figure out how to clean this mess up. Pietr kept protesting, but Matt was adamant. And Pietr grudgingly had to admit that he could probably do more good trying to make the harvesting as gentle as possible. Matt pretended not to notice the flicker of a thought when Pietr admitted to himself that he would probably be killed if he refused to do his job. *** So much had happened within the last couple of months that Matt could barely contain it anymore. It wasn't so much a matter of his world being turned upside down as his world changing so many times that he wasn't even sure what was up and down anymore. First he had been scared of the Himika, and then he had come to the realization that Pietr was his mate and Aki and Robbie his good friends. Now he was back to the beginning. They had had at least some kind of reconciliation, but Pietr's confession meant that Matt was faced with his original fear, and he didn't know what or who to trust anymore. Of course, Pietr felt his doubt, and his mate insisted on talking about it.

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So, what do you want to know? It seemed that Pietr was determined to get everything out in the open now that they had started talking. Matt didn't even know where to begin. Then he asked a question that had bothered him for a long time. Robbie was really scared when I talked to him back in the beginning about the kidnappings. I got the impression that he didn't like them either. Why don't you just speak up? Robbie told you that? There was surprise in Pietr's inner voice. Well, I got it out of him; I'm really stubborn that way. So, why don't you just refuse to do it? Pietr shook his head. We can't. That's ridiculous. No, you don't understand -- we don't work that way. Himiko society is strictly hierarchical; everything depends on how strong you are. The stronger you are, the more you have to say in important questions. And Robbie wasn't considered to be powerful at all. But, still -- you could just say no. You don't have to talk everybody else into agreeing with you. Pietr just shook his head again. No. It would be seen as treason against the community. And to us, the community is everything. Interacting is the way we stay sane, and that's why it's really important to keep that solidarity. Apart from that, it's nearly impossible to disobey orders. Because it's hard to hide anything from mind readers? Exactly. You can shield, but only for so long -- and only if you're strong enough to keep it up for a long time, which most Himika aren't. But you did so yourself when you hid your job for me! Himiko: Warrior - 75

Pietr flinched mentally, but he still answered Matt's question. That wasn't easy, believe me. And I don't think many Himika can do it. So, you're compelled to go with it, even though you don't agree? Yes. There was a firm conviction in Pietr's mind It didn't convince Matt that Pietr really hadn't had a choice. But it did convince him that Pietr thought so. That fact didn't sit well with Matt. Following orders was something he despised. He had a feeling that there were even more details that Pietr wasn't telling him. He didn't ask, though. Pietr had had good reason not to tell him in the first place. Matt was well aware that his life could be in danger if he let anybody know what he had found out. He tried hard to ignore the little voice nagging him with the fact that he also risked finding out more about his mate; facts that could mean that the precarious balance they had found in their relationship would be torn up once again. Matt had insisted that they belonged together, and he wasn't ready to face any facts that could disturb that conviction. It was fragile enough as it was. *** Pietr took Matt's advice, and a month later, the Himiko slowly started going back to work. Not full time and not in the city or at the collecting station (Matt hadn't been able to hide his shudder when he learned the Himiko name for the converted gym where he had met his mate for the first time), but Pietr went to meetings at the clinic and around the compound. He wasn't exactly happy about being back in the job he hated so much, but he did do something good: he managed to decrease the number of humans being Himiko: Warrior - 76

harvested, citing as his reason the humans' difficulties in learning how to use their new abilities and the duration of their training. Matt hadn't realized before now that he had been exceptionally quick in learning to use his skills. Aki hadn't known, since his mentor hadn't worked with any humans before. And Pietr had just been proud of everything Matt did, so Matt had never found out that his speed was anything out of the ordinary. It did explain why none of the successfully implanted humans had returned to normal society yet. Pietr reassured him that they were in training facilities, being trained like Aki had trained Matt. It just was going a lot slower. That was an immense relief to Matt. Pietr's regret about what he had done was very real. Still, it was easier to forgive somebody who wasn't a mass murderer. Pietr didn't know if he should laugh or cry when he heard that thought. Sorry, baby. I didn't mean to put it like that. Well, you're right. At least I'm not a mass murderer. Matt didn't know what to say. Pietr's job was still a huge obstacle between them, even if they were trying to move on. To Matt, the problem was both the truth about Pietr's job and the fact that he had been hiding it to Matt. It felt like a betrayal, no matter how hard Matt tried to ignore it. *** After almost six weeks, Pietr finally deemed Matt ready to meet other people again. Matt had a hunch that Pietr had been somewhat reluctant to share him; he'd caught a hint now and then in his mate's mind. He hadn't said anything to Pietr, though. Even Matt acknowledged Himiko: Warrior - 77

that there were a few things you shouldn't be mocked for. Loving and protecting your mate was one of those. I think Aki has something to say to you. They were hanging out, waiting for Robbie and Aki to come over. The potatoes were already on the grill, and the meat and the salad sat in the fridge. Yeah? What? Matt absentmindedly fingered Pietr's shirt. Robbie wouldn't say. He wouldn't? Should I be worried? Matt frowned. More like incredibly annoyed, according to Robbie. Matt decided to let it go until he could actually talk to Aki. The fabric of Pietr's shirt really was quite thin, doing nothing to hide the tight body under it. They just might have time... No, we don't. They're only two minutes away, and I have much more stamina than that. I, for one, don't come as soon as I'm touched. Matt really thought that Pietr should have learned the consequences of teasing by now. The Himiko certainly would have had fewer bruises if he had. Ouch! You really must be into spanking, baby. There's no other explanation for all this excessive violence. No, you just induce punishment. And for your information: I hadn't had sex for weeks, and you're hot. Very hot. Their bodies still knew what they needed. Matt took the fingering a bit lower. Yeah? I do think maybe we could... "Hi, guys!" Robbie's voice from outside the house was just as cheerful as always. The joy in it was almost enough to make up for the interruption. "Hi, Matt! Oh." Robbie looked from Matt to Pietr. Then he grinned. "You do know that we're the ones Himiko: Warrior - 78

who're supposed to get caught like that all the time, right? Newly bonded and all." "I hope you do. Well, not get caught, but, you know..." Talking about your friends' sex life suddenly seemed a tiny bit awkward. Robbie just laughed and pulled Matt into a warm embrace. The hug felt surprisingly good; Matt hadn't realized how much he had missed his doctor. And friend, I hope? It was weird using his mind to talk to anyone besides Pietr again, but it felt okay. You know that. "I do, but big guy here has had some problems." Robbie turned to Aki, who was lingering by the door. Matt's mentor had a look of insecurity on his face, which was completely out of character for him. Matt looked from Robbie to Aki. Before Matt could ask anything, Aki stepped forward. "I'd like to apologize." Aki's voice was a little stiff. "What on earth would you have to apologize for?" Aki stared at the ground. "I'm having a bit of trouble sharing Robbie. It's not easy." Matt had his arms around Aki before his mentor could meet his eyes. It's all right, Aki. You're fine. The Himiko's body tensed up as he was touched, and he instinctively pulled back mentally as Matt reached out to talk to him. Shh. You're okay. Matt held on, refusing to let Aki go either physically or mentally, and slowly, the Himiko relaxed. It's hard. There was a whole new level of vulnerability in Aki's mind, and it made Matt squeeze him tightly in compassion. Himiko: Warrior - 79

You'll make it. Bend, don't break, okay? You're just too stubborn for your own good. "Not to mention possessive, of course. And singleminded." Without any ceremony, Pietr pushed Matt away and gave Aki a big hug, slapping his back. Hey! Sharing a heartfelt moment, here. Matt couldn't help laughing, though; his mate just wasn't one for stilted displays of affection. Robbie just shook his head. "Mates. Can't live without them. Fortunately, the closeness makes it easier to kill them." Aki frowned, clearly not getting the joke. Matt cast a look at Robbie and tried not to snicker. They understood each other perfectly well. Matt took a closer look at Robbie. He was quietly glowing, and it was a really good look on him. "I guess I don't have to ask about your head. You seem fine, but don't overdo it. How's your shoulder?" Robbie switched easily into physician mode. "I thought you were off work today?" Robbie just raised his eyebrows and waited. "Okay, okay. Yes, my head's fine, cheek's fine, the shoulder is still sore, but that's apparently perfectly normal for 'a man my age.'" The nurse's words at the check-up still stung. "Yeah? I can have a look at it." Before Aki could get out the words he had opened his mouth to say, Robbie held up a hand. "Look, not heal." Aki reluctantly nodded. The poor guy was completely helpless in Robbie's hands. "Let Pietr hold you. That always makes it easier." Matt did as he was told, and then he had the strange feeling of Robbie being present in his mind and his Himiko: Warrior - 80

body. It was slightly claustrophobic, but it was Robbie. That made all the difference. Robbie pulled away and nodded, a satisfied expression on his face. "It's healing well, if a bit slowly, but that's not unusual for a clavicle fracture. You'll be as good as new before long." "Good. Now, can we go eat?" Pietr was hungry, and now that his brief concern about his mate had been taken away, food was the only thought on his mind. "Yes, we can eat! God, you're such a Neanderthal." Matt gave Pietr a kiss. "No, no, Himika don't have those." Matt frowned. "You don't? But how..." "I never told you about the missing link? Then you better behave; I just might condescend to explain it to you sometime." Matt closed his eyes and took a deep breath to find some much-needed patience. God, he hated aliens. *** Aliens weren't unanimously crazy about him, either. That was a lesson he learned in the months following his recovery. Matt had set up his firm in the cabin, and it worked out well. Because of Pietr's salary and his own insurance (which had compensated him twice in the last six months, once for the "kidnapping" and once for the attack), they were financially secure. That meant that he only had to work on the projects that really interested him. Of course, he couldn't go that big; he simply didn't have either the manpower or the technical staff necessary for that. But he won two minor projects which were both very interesting, and he got a special mention Himiko: Warrior - 81

for his contribution to a competition to make a footbridge in the north of England. Now and then, Pietr had to go away for meetings. They had learned how to survive being apart now, but if it lasted for more than ten hours or so, they started getting restless (Pietr insisted fervently that it wasn't just him getting horny). So if Pietr had to spend the night somewhere else, Matt followed him. He quickly found out that the Himika didn't have a clue as to what to think of him. Hel-lo, the secretary at a meeting in Baltimore had greeted Matt when the secretary picked up Pietr at the hotel, projecting his thoughts as clearly as you would to a three-year old. Well, if three-year old Himika could communicate mentally, which they of course couldn't. Hello. Nice meeting you. Matt kept himself meticulously shielded, only letting a minuscule part of his energy through his shield. Oh, he's got such a good grasp of communicating! The secretary had beamed at Pietr as if Matt's mate were the proud parent responsible for that. Well, thank you. Matt reserved the mental equivalent of raised eyebrows for Pietr only, and Pietr had to work hard to keep his amusement out of their communication with the secretary. You're evil, you know that, right? But his mate didn't seem to think that it was a bad idea for Matt to keep himself back, and so Matt kept working on his shielding. After a while, he mastered the deception to such an extent that he was sure he could have passed for an ordinary human. Of course that meant that every Himiko he met thought that he was dumber than an ostrich, but that paid off, too; more than once Matt was able to tell Pietr some vital information Himiko: Warrior - 82

that a careless Himiko hadn't bothered to keep shielded from the dim human. Then there were the Himika who thought he was an abomination. They never dared think it out loud -- Pietr was much too influential for them to risk that -- but their minds were filled with a mixture of pity for his mate and deep revulsion at the thought that a Himiko had bonded with a human. Fortunately, there weren't that many of those. After meeting two very memorable Himika purists in Chicago, Matt wasn't sure he could keep from losing his temper in any future encounters. Apart from such infrequent encounters, Matt kept pretty much to himself and his Himiko friends. Interacting with humans was something in the past, and he had no regrets there. Matt and Pietr normally used commercial airlines, but apart from that, they weren't in much contact with anyone but Himika, being rushed in private cars from the plane to the meeting or the hotel and back. It suited Matt just fine; he was dead tired of the pitying and hateful human stares. He didn't even pay much attention to the news anymore. All the media told the same stories about human stupidity and steadily lessconcealed hatred toward the Himika. Matt was beyond caring.

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6 They had been to another of Pietr's meetings, getting back very early in the morning. A delayed plane had postponed their return to the cabin until after midnight. After sleeping in, they had a long lunch and went for a drive around the compound. They hadn't expected to see Robbie and Aki at their cabin when they came back. "We have something for you to see." Aki looked serious. "Have you been following what humans are saying on the Internet about the Himika?" Matt shook his head. "I never do," Pietr added before opening the door and letting their friends inside. "You're not going to like this." Robbie took out his computer and turned it on, looking up a website. Matt froze when he saw the first images. They were of him. Apparently, a student had been filming the lecture Matt had been giving at the university when he was harvested. The clip started when the door opened behind him, revealing the three recruiting Himika. Matt watched in fascinated horror as he kept on talking without noticing anything out of order. Then he turned around and saw the Himika. In the movie, he blanched, frozen to the floor as a Himiko stretched out a hand and ordered him to come with them. "I was so scared." His voice didn't sound right. Pietr put his arms around Matt, but the Himiko couldn't penetrate the numb feeling that seemed to permeate Matt's mind. Himiko: Warrior - 84

Then the angle of the movie shifted, following him as the Himika escorted him down the hallways and all the way to the car. The images had to have been taken from the security cameras on campus. Someone had clearly registered what was happening, because as Matt neared the car, the camera zoomed in on his face. There was pure, naked fear in his eyes, and the memory was so vivid that Matt felt his throat constrict even now. He watched himself choke on the film, the Himiko lifting his head to enable him to breathe as his body went slack. "I was so scared." Those were the only words he could get out, his voice nothing but a whisper this time. The segment ended with him being helped into the black van, and then it changed to a female newsreader, looking serious. He couldn't hear what she was saying, though. A strange buzz was filling his head. I'm so sorry. There was shame and anger and compassion in Pietr's mind. I'm so fucking sorry. "I thought I was going to die. That's what I was thinking outside the van. That this was the last moment of my life." Pietr's arms were around him, and he was being helped down on the sofa. He laughed, the sound odd. "I seem to spend more time in shock than out of it." He blinked, looking around. Robbie was talking to him, and Aki was looking worried in the background. "This is a really familiar scenario. Me freaking out while you're trying to talk me out of it." "We won't let you slide, Matt." He hadn't heard Aki this confident since the first days when the Himiko had been Matt's mentor. "No? Promise?" "We promise." Aki's voice was firm. "Robbie's going to do his magic, Pietr is going to catch you, and I'm going to yell at you until you stop freaking out." Himiko: Warrior - 85

Matt laughed again, the sound loud to himself. "It's a good thing there's three of you." "Yes, we can take shifts. Speaking of which, Matt, let Pietr in again." Matt shook his head to clear it. He hadn't even noticed that he was blocking his mate, and he didn't mean to. He wanted Pietr, needed his mate so badly. About time! I really need to get better at kicking your ass. The feelings behind Pietr's acerbic comment were fear and desperation, Matt's attempt at shutting him out having renewed Pietr's fear of losing Matt. Matt let himself be filled up with his mate, the empty place in his mind suddenly feeling all right again. You really do. He let himself be held. I'm okay. I just need to breathe for a moment. Is he telling the truth, Robbie? It was Aki asking Robbie. Yes. He's really got an uncanny ability to shield, though... Matt could hear Robbie start thinking about that, the physician muttering about the pros and cons of that skill. Jesus, Aki, take your geek with you, will you? Matt couldn't help snorting as he heard Pietr's words. He opened his eyes and saw the familiar look of exasperation spreading across the doctor's face. "When Pietr's back to offending people, then his mate must be okay. Do you agree, Matt?" "Yeah. Sorry about that. It was just tough seeing that again." "Yes, I can imagine." Robbie's expression was sympathetic for a moment. Then he got all businesslike. "The video isn't getting much traffic yet. I only found it because, well, a friend of mine looks for this stuff."

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Matt had a clear feeling that there was a story here, but he didn't ask. He might be getting the hang of Himiko good manners, after all. "I think the commentary might be causing trouble," Robbie continued. "I didn't hear it." Matt looked at the surprised faces around him. "I only saw the images." "Okay. Well, the last phrase about 'sentencing yet another human being to death' is one likely to be widely quoted. There were already quite a few comments on YouTube when I found it, and it hasn't been there for long." Robbie looked a little sick. "I'm so sorry for this, Matt. Both for it happening in the first place and for this." "I think it's Jones' doing." Matt was sure of it. "Jones? Your ex?" Aki looked skeptically at him. "Yes. He had been doing a major campaign to have me set free before I came to see him; he could easily do something like this. He put the campaign together with Benjamin, by the way, and Benj was there when the recruiters took me. Benjamin would know if anybody had a cell phone filming the lecture and how to get the security videos. It fits." "But why would Jones want to show people this? He doesn't exactly sound like a fan of yours anymore. Why would he try to make people feel sorry for you?" Aki wasn't convinced. "But that's the point exactly. Were any of those comments actually sympathetic toward me?" He looked from Aki to Robbie. Neither of them met his eyes. "They weren't, were they? They were probably somewhere on the scale between disgust with the Himika and outright rebellion against you, am I right?" "Yes. You're right." This time, Robbie looked straight at him, eyes unwavering. Himiko: Warrior - 87

We just have to wait and see. There isn't much we can do about it anyway. Pietr's words were directed both at Matt and at the others. "I have a bad feeling about this." Aki looked serious. "But you're right, there's not much to do about it. We'll just have to see how it goes." *** They did see. The video spread, slowly but inevitably, across the social media. In the beginning, the comments were almost secretive, carefully disguised as something someone else had said. Since the rebellion in the Midwest right after the Himika arrived on Earth, there had been laws against encouraging hostility between the races -- laws that were taken extremely seriously by the authorities. Nobody wanted a repeat of what had basically been the slaughter of the mutinous humans. Matt sometimes thought that this censorship was where the real problem lay. If only people had been able to openly discuss the matter of sharing their planet with another race, much of the dissatisfaction could have been prevented. Ignorance was a dangerous thing. Over the next couple of weeks, the comments became less restrained. They were still all anonymous, of course, but they were there. It seemed that people no longer feared retribution. *** Matt came home from his run one day to find Robbie and Aki there again, sitting with Pietr around the computer. They looked worried. Himiko: Warrior - 88

"What's up?" Matt spoke out loud; with all four of them around, it was easier than communicating mentally. "It never occurred to me to check the minor sites; I guess I took it for granted that the big international sites were representative." Robbie appeared slightly ashamed. "But the big sites are almost all American, and that means they're censoring the comments. Outside of USA, they haven't got laws against provoking dissatisfaction like you do in the States." "Why don't they have laws against that?" Matt interrupted him. After the massacre following the Himika's arrival, the government had enforced the exception to the First Amendment of "incitement to riot or imminent lawless action" rigidly and had passed several other laws to the same effect -- out of pure necessity in order to protect Americans against another massacre. The lack of preventive measures in Europe and Asia puzzled him. "They don't have to -- the reaction when we came to Europe and Asia was very different. Their citizens were far more positive toward us, so the authorities there never needed to worry about violent protests." "They don't mind the kidnappings?" It didn't make sense to him that things would be any better in Europe and Asia than they were in America. Almost all of the Himika were centered on those three continents, so it made sense that their arrival on Earth hadn't had so much influence on Australia, South America, and Africa. But Matt didn't understand how Europeans and Asians could be less hostile toward the Himika than Americans were. Pietr winced when Matt used the word "kidnapping." Sorry. Himiko: Warrior - 89

Pietr just nodded and started explaining. Matt and Pietr did that all the time; avoiding the tender subject in favor of speaking of something else. "We don't do much harvesting there. It takes a lot of resources and facilities to train somebody, so it's a lot more cost-effective to center it in one place. And Europeans and especially Asians just don't see that many Himika on a day-to-day basis; there aren't that many of us there. When I go there, I get the feeling that they feel we're exotic more than threatening." "Apparently, not anymore." Robbie sounded glum. Matt was speechless. "And it never occurred to you that they might like you better because you don't do any recruiting there?" Pietr looked helpless. Believe me, I've tried to propose that idea at the committee meetings. In vain. Matt just shook his head. "Well, whatever the reason, they don't have any censorship," Robbie continued. "That means that they can comment on the video all they want. It isn't good, Matt." Matt leaned over Pietr's shoulder. His mate didn't complain about how sweaty he was, just pointed at the screen. Matt let his eyes run down the comments on a British website and felt himself go cold. "Not good" was an understatement. "This must stop" was the mildest comment. From there, it went quickly downhill to hateful comments about the alien monsters. The worst part was the number of comments encouraging an open rebellion. "It has been done once already. Those people weren't properly prepared then, but we will be." The last comment so far read, "There's only a few thousands of the freaks here; how hard can it be?" "Oh, fuck." Matt froze. Himiko: Warrior - 90

"I think that's an adequate description, Matt." Robbie looked at him. "This is getting serious." *** Just how serious the situation was dawned on Matt the next day. He had been drawing, working on an extension to a public administration building, while Pietr was preparing for a meeting the following day. Matt did hear the car outside, but he knew the sound of Robbie's car by now and didn't look up. He just had to have the specifications of that wall put down... He felt the consternation in his mate's mind and looked up. "Robbie! Are you okay?" There was blood running down Robbie's face even though he was pressing some tissues against his forehead. "I'm fine. Well, I'm bleeding, and you have to help patch me up before I go home." "What happened?" Robbie was more shook up than he wanted to show, but he couldn't hide it from Matt. "They threw stones at me!" Matt got an all-too-clear image from Robbie of the Himiko running to his car outside the supermarket, teenagers and a few adults throwing things at him. Robbie was shaky, incredulous that something like this could happen. "Fuck! And nobody did anything?" "Oh, yes, they did something." Robbie sat down on the chair Pietr had pulled out for him, wincing as he sat back. "It wasn't just stones!" Matt saw in Robbie's mind that he had been hit in his back by a can; that was why he was sore now. Himiko: Warrior - 91

"The scary part was that nobody seemed to mind that I was hurt. They just watched. This is getting out of hand, Matt." Robbie looked into Matt's eyes. "Here, let me have a look at that." Pietr had returned with the first aid kit, and gently lifted the tissues. "It doesn't look that bad, but you're the expert on that. Here, have a look." Pietr had brought a hand mirror. Robbie examined his wound in the mirror and nodded. "It's fine -- head wounds always bleed a lot. I just need to clean it and get a bandage on it. I didn't have a first aid kit in my car. I know I should have had one, but I just never got around to get the box filled up..." He was chattering nervously, clearly affected by the attack. "Sit still and let me do it for you." Pietr's movements were skilled and surprisingly gentle, and Matt sat down next to Robbie, taking his hand. "You're going to be fine, okay?" He squeezed Robbie's hand in his. "Yeah." Robbie still seemed shook up. "You have to go home with me. Aki is going to go ballistic when he sees this." Matt frowned. "He can't be that bad." Pietr snorted but kept on wiping blood off Robbie's face. "He is that bad, and worse." Robbie looked straight at Matt. "He's had a very hard time just relenting enough to let me go out on my own. There's a real risk that this is going to bring back some bad tendencies in him." "He doesn't hit you, does he?" Matt felt a little out of his depth here. "No! No, he's just being a possessive asshole." There were both exasperation and a certain fondness in Robbie's mind. "But it's not good for him. He might pull us so far back that I'll have to dig us out with a shovel, and that took a while and a lot of shouting last time. Himiko: Warrior - 92

God, he's hard work." Robbie rolled his eyes, the annoyance clear on his face. The love was equally clear in his mind, though, and Matt huffed. Mates. Can't live without them... ...but luckily they're close enough to kill easily. Robbie finished the sentence for him. His friend did seem a bit calmer now. "I have a feeling that I'm missing something here." Pietr wasn't concerned, though, and Matt gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Just discussing how to distract Aki's attention." "Of course you are." Pietr had refined his sarcasm to perfection by now. He placed the bandage on Robbie's forehead and stepped back. "As good as new. Now let's go keep Aki from killing any furniture." *** Matt had thought that they were both exaggerating a bit. He didn't think so anymore when he heard Aki's roar. Quicker than lightning, Aki scanned Robbie's mind to see what had happened. "Jesus, Aki! Will you take it down?" Aki was completely oblivious to Matt's words, lost in patting his hands down his mate's body to ensure that Robbie wasn't hurt anywhere else before he finally embraced Robbie. It didn't look like he was ever going to let go. "Aftercare, Aki!" Pietr was speaking loudly and very clearly. It didn't make Aki move at all. "You need to know how to take care of your mate." Those words made Aki pull back slightly, head turning to look at Pietr.

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"Good. You need to listen. Otherwise you can't take care of your mate. Let go of him." Aki obediently took a step back, staggering slightly. Pietr steadied him. "I... I can't do this." Aki paled, shaking his head. "What do you mean?" Matt frowned. Aki looked as if he was about to keel over. "I can't let go! It's too hard, I can't lose him." Aki was shaking, and he was unsteady even with Pietr's arms on him. Matt reached out for him before Robbie could touch him. Matt felt something like a slight shock of electricity going through him as the connection bound the three of them together again. It was the strong bond between mentor and student, but multiplied into their strange triangle of energy that included Pietr. Matt gently sought out Aki's mind, keeping his mentor from flight and centering Aki securely in the connection with Matt and Pietr. You're not letting him go, you're just letting him live his life. It's a good thing, Aki. Matt tried to comfort Aki, a surge of compassion going through him when he felt how hard his mentor was fighting to make this work. Aki was wound so tight that the Himiko was close to shattering, but he relaxed a fraction as he felt Matt and Pietr's presence. Then he tensed again as if he missed something. I'm right here for you. Robbie had Aki's back, carefully embracing him from behind, supporting him. You see? Matt was intent on having Aki understand this. Nothing comes between us, and nothing comes between you and Robbie. Aki slowly relaxed, letting Robbie hold him and Matt and Pietr stay connected to him. His breathing evened out, and his painfully tight shields loosened a little. It felt healthier, as if he wasn't going to fall apart at the Himiko: Warrior - 94

slightest touch anymore. Matt leaned into it, assuring him that this was how it should be. Yeah? Considering how many people I've taught, I'm completely useless at this. There was bitterness in Aki's inner voice. You mean you aren't perfect? Matt kept his inner voice light, teasing. I want to be. I should be. Aki's shields had loosened enough that Matt could feel how his mind was filled with desperation and a burning desire to keep his mate protected, away from anything that could hurt Robbie. Matt realized for the first time what Robbie had been worrying about. Aki was tearing himself apart over this, and he wanted to keep Robbie so close that they would both suffocate from it. You know that Robbie taught me about stretching our bond, right? Matt had had a hard time extending his bond with Pietr enough to enable them to be apart. Aki's mind was curious. I didn't understand that our bond wasn't going to be weakened because we were apart. Matt felt a shudder go through Aki at the mere thought of being separated from Robbie. "Jesus, Aki!" Matt rubbed Aki's shoulder, and Robbie tightened his arms around his mate. "You need to understand this, or you're going to fall apart." Then teach me! Aki's inner voice was filled with a desperation so deep that it shocked Matt. This was his unflappable mentor who knew everything. Well, everything but this, it seemed. Okay. Matt took a moment to gather his thoughts. What you need to understand is that the flexibility makes your bond stronger, not weaker. The incomprehension was clear in Aki's mind. Himiko: Warrior - 95

Hasn't Robbie shown you? Matt didn't get this; he had had problems, but Robbie had taught him this in a few minutes. Robbie tried to, but his mate wouldn't listen. Robbie was worried enough that his banter had lost its usual lighthearted tone. I did listen -- we can be apart just fine. If it hadn't been the fearsome Aki talking, Matt would have said that the Himiko was pouting. You obviously missed the point, Aki. Not for the first time, Matt felt exasperated by all this alien-stuff. It was a never-ending battle to get things right. Really? Then tell me how it can ever be a good thing when I can't reach my mate, when I can't feel what he feels except when he's in mortal danger! Well, when Aki put it that way... Matt pulled himself together. Because your bond is stronger that way! You're not dependent on being within physical reach, and the more you can do this, the closer you get. Look, I'll show you. Matt showed Aki the same image that Robbie had showed him back when he had to learn, of a bond made of elastic with an unbreakable core harder than any metal. I know how it looks! Then why don't you get it? Look, here's the bond you're trying to create. Matt made a mental image of a rigid iron beam. And so what? Matt gritted his teeth. Aki was more stubborn than a sullen teen. And so it isn't strong enough! Matt made a mental image of what happened when you used a lot of force against an iron beam, shattering it in a cascade of tiny splinters. Himiko: Warrior - 96

Aki's roar was deafening, the Himiko struggling to get loose. "Listen to me!" It was only Robbie's grip around Aki's waist that kept Aki from attacking Matt, and Matt had to use all of his mental force to get Aki's attention again. I said, listen to me! Matt's inner voice was loud enough to stun Aki to silence. He took a deep breath. Okay. Now, look at this instead. Again he showed Aki the image of an elastic bond with a firm core, showed his mentor what could be done with the bond, how it would never break the way a rigid bond would. In the beginning, Aki was dismissive, unwilling to even listen. Matt didn't pay any attention to his protests, but simply forced him to watch how Matt could twist and stretch and bend the bond without ever breaking it. See? Nothing can happen to this. He had caught Aki's attention now, his mentor reluctantly following his demonstration. Aki shuddered when he pulled the imaginary bond so thin that it was almost invisible, but Matt refused to stop. This is what you need to learn. It won't snap. Ever. Matt pulled the bond even thinner, showing how strong it still was. Suddenly, something fell into place in Aki's mind, and the Himiko relaxed so quickly that Robbie had to support his body to keep him from falling. Is it... Is it really like that? But Aki already knew, the revelation making all that fear and tension leave his body. It's really like that. I promise. Matt briefly wondered at the improbability of a human teaching his Himiko mentor anything about the Himiko bond. But it had been necessary. Himiko: Warrior - 97

And this Himiko is more stubborn than you'd think possible. Robbie fondly nuzzled Aki's neck. You don't say so. Matt allowed himself to enjoy their connection for a moment, the way he was close not only to Pietr, but also to Aki and, through his mentor, to Robbie. Then he prepared himself to end it. Very good. We'll let you go. Behave, now. Matt reluctantly pulled back. Pietr shook his head. "You really have a way with words, honey." Their connection was broken, and it almost felt like a loss to Matt, even though he still had Pietr. "Now you can fuss." Aki looked uncomprehendingly at Matt. Then a horrified look went over his face and he turned back to his injured mate. "Oh, no, you blew it, buddy. You can't be all happy with letting me cuddle you and then go back to thinking that I'm dying." Robbie kissed Aki's nose and turned to make them something to eat, much to his mate's consternation. "I'd just give up if I were you, Aki." Pietr was shaking his head. "You have to pick your fights." "You do." Matt raised an eyebrow. "Of course, it's not hurting my mate's great insightfulness that he's really hungry for those sandwiches." Someone's sleeping on the couch tonight, baby. Matt laughed out loud. As if you would want to miss what I'm going to do to you. He gave Pietr one or two images of what kind of fun he intended them to have tonight. It wasn't until he heard Aki sputter that he realized that he hadn't quite severed their common connection yet. "Has that couch ever been slept on?" Robbie had turned away from the sandwiches he was putting Himiko: Warrior - 98

together to look at them. "Because that's getting to be an empty threat by now." Matt cringed inwardly as he remembered how Pietr had stayed away from him after he found out what Pietr did for a living. But he couldn't reveal anything about that to his friends without risking their lives, too. "Well, it's always good to have a deterrent." Matt leaned back against his mate, encouraging Pietr to embrace him, wanting everything to be back to normal. The Himiko held him tightly. Matt sighed in spite of everything. When mates didn't need to be killed or hit they were quite nice to have around. Oh, my God, after that overwhelming declaration of love, honey, I'll just have to fuck you senseless right away. See? It worked. *** After dinner, Matt cuddled up with Robbie on the couch while Pietr took Aki outside. Aki looked rebellious, but Pietr just pulled at him. Aki needs to let go a bit, Pietr thought to Matt. And Robbie is going to kill him if he fusses another second. Matt laughed inside. Apparently you didn't have to know Robbie as well as Matt did to see that the Himiko was this close to losing his patience. Robbie only just held it together long enough to shoo his mate out of the door. That guy is so much hard work. There was a good deal of exasperation along with the love in Robbie's thoughts. Yeah. Mates generally are. Robbie shuffled a bit closer, and Matt put an arm around his shoulder. Himiko: Warrior - 99

Are you okay, by the way? Robbie kept the question light. What do you mean? Matt tried to pretend he didn't know what Robbie was asking. Don't even try; I've been bossing Aki around for months. I'm in great shape when it comes to getting people to talk. Matt sighed. It's not that I don't want to talk about it, but it's kind of private. I can't really talk about it. You figured out what he's doing for a living, didn't you? Matt looked disbelievingly at Robbie. Robbie just shook his head. "Come on, it's not exactly difficult to guess. I mean, he started going back to work at about the same time that you suddenly looked like you had been attacked all over again. Do you really think that I believed your talk about a 'relapse'? You don't get those a month after having a concussion. At least, not unless you do something incredibly stupid, and you didn't." Matt didn't even know what to say. Underestimating Robbie used to be something Pietr did, not Matt. "It's okay." Robbie's voice was softer. "I get it." "It's a mess." Matt wanted to confide in Robbie, but he couldn't risk anything. Fortunately, Pietr had shown him how to hide things deep down where nobody could find them, so he didn't risk Robbie finding out. "It is. But it's not really his mess." Matt looked questioningly at Robbie. "He said that it was." Robbie made an impatient noise. "Yes, he likes to take all of the world's troubles on his shoulders. And he is to blame for some of it, but most of it is..." Robbie suddenly looked a little sick. Himiko: Warrior - 100

"Don't." Matt kept himself meticulously shielded, careful not to let anything slip that could endanger either of them. But a look could say more than many words. Robbie's eyes widened, then he nodded slowly. "Okay. Okay." He seemed to shake himself. "So... You're fine now?" Matt was relieved to leave the dangerous subject. He shrugged. "I don't know. We should be, but we're..." "You're not?" Robbie's voice was gentle. Matt shook his head. He couldn't meet Robbie's eyes. "Not really. I never thought there could be anything hidden between mind readers." Robbie snorted. "Believe me, after a while you get almost as good as humans at avoiding the elephant in the room. It doesn't mean that you should. Otherwise, you just have to use a shovel and a lot of cursing to dig yourself out of the trenches you've made." There was a lot of frustration in his voice, Aki clear in Robbie's thoughts. "He was that difficult?" "Yes. And don't change the subject." Matt didn't even try to pretend that he hadn't. "I just don't know what to do. Intellectually, I understand what he's done, and I even believe him when he explains his reasons for doing it. But emotionally... It's really a mess." "How about physically?" "Robbie!" "I am your doctor." Matt reluctantly answered. "Our bodies know what they need. Sometimes I think that's all that's keeping us together." "It is what's keeping you sane. If the intimacy stops, you go a little crazy." Matt chose to blush instead of answering. Himiko: Warrior - 101

"You're a brain person, aren't you?" "I'm a what?" "A brain person. You experience everything logically. Like when you had Aki explain the reasons for your training to you in the beginning. You're only able to accept things if you understand them intellectually." Matt stared at him. Then he nodded. "I guess so." "And you go into one of your rages now and then to counterbalance all of that rationality. But what I mean is that you obviously haven't gotten what you need from Pietr." "He did explain what he had done. And why," Matt protested. "Not well enough to convince you. Or maybe he only convinced the rational part of you. You need to figure out how to get the explanation from him that you so clearly need in order to make things between you better." Matt narrowed his eyes. How was this suddenly becoming his fault? "And don't try avoiding this by getting angry. It won't do you any good." "Do you read minds? I mean..." Robbie shook his head overbearingly. "No, you're just too predictable, Matt. No need to break any kind of shields, even if I had been able to do that." Matt tried to hold back his huff. He wasn't sure how well he succeeded. Robbie wisely chose to ignore him. The doctor suddenly looked a little tired. "Promise me you'll do something about it, okay?" "I'll think about it." "No, you won't. I said do something." Matt blinked. "Okay," he promised. He suddenly had a whole new understanding of what Aki had been Himiko: Warrior - 102

through. "But you look tired. You were actually supposed to be the patient today, not the shrink." Robbie protested, but he didn't complain when Matt got a blanket and pulled it over him. It was all very well that the Himiko claimed to be fine, but he still cuddled up closely to Matt, and he was grateful for the hug Matt gave him. I am fine. Just a little shook up. Matt held on. It's okay. Have a nap; I'm not going anywhere. Matt could tell that Robbie thought about claiming that he was fully able to stay awake. Then Robbie fell asleep. *** The rising dissatisfaction on the Internet and the attack on Robbie served as constant reminders to Matt of what his mate had done. He kept telling himself that it wasn't all Pietr's fault, that Pietr hadn't wanted to do it. It was still there, though, lingering in the back of his mind. He did everything he could to conceal his thoughts from Pietr, but of course he couldn't keep them entirely hidden. It made their connection feel strangely awkward, made him hold back from revealing anything to his mate. It felt really wrong. And it wasn't only Matt who felt it. Pietr had been hurt, and not only by Matt's initial rejection. There was an older hurt lingering in Pietr's mind, caused both by harming so many humans and from keeping the information about it from Matt. Matt felt as if Pietr's admission had left a bitter residue of sorrow and betrayal in his mind, in spite of all Himiko: Warrior - 103

of his good intentions to reconcile with Pietr. He didn't want to feel that way, but it was there nevertheless. Really, Matt, it's okay. Pietr was quiet, simply grateful that Matt was still with him. They were sitting in the garden. I know. I'm sorry. It felt as if they had done nothing but apologize to each other in the weeks since Matt found out. Oh, no, you aren't going to start saying you're sorry again, are you? Pietr was trying so hard to get back to their old teasing that Matt got a lump in his throat. Then he smacked his mate, just for good measure. Hey! There was a strange mixture of offense and relief in Pietr's mind. Let's go for a walk. Matt wanted something normal, soothing. And maybe Robbie's advice hadn't been that bad. Maybe Pietr still had some explaining to do. Outside? There was horror in Pietr's words when he saw the image of the forest in Matt's mind. Yes. Matt frowned at the strange question. Unless you want to walk in very small circles, then outside is better. But there are bears in North America! Not here, you idiot! Matt was exasperated. At least that explained why Pietr always stayed in the garden. Nobody ever got eaten by a bear around here. It occurred to Matt that he actually didn't know if he was telling the truth. Well, at least he had never heard about anybody getting eaten. That's so not reassuring! Matt gave up arguing and just pulled Pietr out of the house. I promise to let any bears eat me first, okay? I'm much tastier than you. Pietr's mind was a combination of outrage and a very real fear of the predators. However, Matt could feel how Himiko: Warrior - 104

Pietr was determined to make up for his mistakes, and this was somehow a way to do that. As usual, Pietr refused to admit to any weakness, even though Matt could tell just from listening to Pietr's mind that he really was scared. How much does a bear eat? You're enough, right? You've been looking a bit too skinny to be a good meal lately. Matt just took a firm grip on Pietr and pulled him in close. Touching Pietr in itself made everything easier, and Pietr leaned in a little. Their bodies knew what they both needed. They didn't talk while they made their way to the lake. Pietr gave a low whistle when he saw the water. This is where you practice? Nah, this is where I go when I want to relax. It's my special place. A special place that he wanted to share with Pietr. Pietr hugged him tighter, but didn't say anything as they sat down on the grass, looking out over the lake. It was a cloudy day, so the view wasn't as beautiful as when the water mirrored the blue sky. But it was still calm and quiet, and Matt could feel how the tranquility seeped into him and made him relax. The surroundings had the same effect on Pietr, or maybe he could feel Matt relax. The tension started leaving his body, and Matt pulled him back so they were lying in the grass. None of us are perfect; you know that, right? Of course I know, Pietr said, a touch of his impatience back. There's just a huge difference between leaving your towels on the floor and harvesting humans. Yes. There was nothing Matt could say to deny that. But you didn't do it because you liked it. You did believe it was the best thing to do in the beginning, didn't you? Himiko: Warrior - 105

Yeah. I still think it's a good method to get humans to know us better. We've just done it in a horrible way. Your plan was good. The execution of it just really sucked. Which basically goes for the entire invasion, come to think of it. Matt had never understood the reason why the Himika came to Earth. He decided to take Robbie's advice. Why did you actually come here? And why now? Just because we were ready to accept your existence? Pietr had explained all this to him when they bonded, but he had been so busy trying to survive everything that was happening that he hadn't paid much attention. Things were getting bad here. Pietr's inner voice was quiet, and he let one hand rest on Matt's chest, anchoring them both. We meant to wait a little longer, to ensure that people all over the planet were ready to meet us. But you stopped evolving, and you didn't seem to care that you weren't making sufficient progress to even keep your fellow humans from dying. That stung, but Matt guessed that Pietr was right. Despite all the good intentions, people were still suffering and dying from famine and infectious diseases. It isn't just that -- we understand that it isn't easy to solve problems like that. It was more your priorities. You seemed engrossed in unimportant matters like religion or economics, and at the same time, you seemed oblivious to the fact that you were getting still closer to a world where you didn't care for anything but your own survival and comfort. That's the beginning of the end, and I'm not sure that any of you ever realized that. But economics matter! That's what's keeping everything running. Does it really? Or rather, of course it does. But does the value of your house matter more than people starving to death? Because from the decisions humans Himiko: Warrior - 106

make -- or don't make -- it seems that's the way you're thinking. Matt didn't get it. But shouldn't you have been here before, then? I mean, World War II was a catastrophe, and we could really have used some help then. You could, but you weren't ready. Apart from that, that war was pretty straightforward; the psychological mechanisms behind it are easy to understand. As a matter of fact, World War I was far worse. But they were still just wars -- big ones, but well-defined conflicts nevertheless. What I'm talking about is a state of mind, a ruthlessness that you were beginning to accept as a common trait among you. So you're saying, "make peace, not war?" Pietr frowned. You make it sound like some hippie slogan. It's a lot more important than that, and you know that. Matt didn't, not really. He was sure that the Himika meant well, but the whole project seemed pretty farfetched to him. Pietr sighed. I guess I'm not doing a great job of explaining this. You remember what I told you about the way Himika communicate, right? That it's more than just communication? Yes. It means that we're tied closely together as a species -- and that we're dependent on having those ties. We need to be able to trust each other; otherwise we can't exist. There was something behind Pietr's words, something Pietr didn't want to tell him. Before Matt could ask about it, Pietr continued. It doesn't mean that we're that different from you, but it does mean that we're a lot more sensitive to things that you won't register until it's too late. Because you're dependent on the same kind of trust whether you believe Himiko: Warrior - 107

it or not. Your entire financial system or just the way you interact in traffic -- it's all based on the fact that you trust each other to abide by the rules you have set up. And that's falling apart? Matt was skeptical. Yes. You were tearing yourself apart as a species; we arrived at the last moment. You need to stop and think. Matt didn't know what to say. He could feel Pietr's sincerity, but he just wasn't convinced. He knew that humanity did some pretty fucked-up things, but that was the way it had always been. Yes, it has always been that way. But only because you didn't have the level of sophistication to improve your situation. Now you have the means, but you aren't using them. And you don't care. You'll go on until you've destroyed everything you've managed to accomplish so far. I'm sorry, but I don't see how we're going to fix that. Even though Pietr might be right, Matt couldn't see how either of them would be able to convince the entirety of humanity that they had to stop fighting over profit and religion and feed the starving in Africa. Pietr made an impatient gesture with his hand. No, that's just it. You don't see it because you don't have the kind of connection with your fellow humans that Himika have with each other. If you had that, you would be able to do it. Or rather, you wouldn't be able not to; you wouldn't be able to bear the horrible feeling of another being suffering when you're that close. This is why you did it, isn't it? Why you came here, and why you wanted to give humans the means to understand the world the way you see it? For the first time, Matt turned his head to look at Pietr. Yes. This is why I did it. Pietr met Matt's eyes without hesitation, letting his mind stay completely open. His intentions had been pure from the very beginning, and Himiko: Warrior - 108

then he had been caught up in a game of power that he hadn't been able to escape without risking first his own, and then Matt's life as well. So, world peace, huh? Pietr actually blushed, but he didn't look away. Yes. We thought it was important. We still do. Matt nodded. It was as if something loosened up inside him, his mistrust diminishing. I believe you. He couldn't not; the truth was written in Pietr's mind. Along with it was the regret for what had happened, but it was paired with a determination to solve the problems. Pietr didn't say anything, but pulled Matt in close. Pietr's gratitude toward Matt was clear, and Matt made a soothing noise while pouring comfort and forgiveness into Pietr's mind. He couldn't change what had happened, but he could make sure that his mate was okay. Is it as easy as that? Pietr didn't think so, not for one second. At least it's where we begin. For the first time in a long, long time, Matt actually thought that they would be able to get back to what they had had before. It would take time to find the old trust, but they would get there. Matt's quiet confidence was enough to make Pietr finally close his eyes, his breathing getting slower. Pietr was exhausted, the guilt having taken its toll on him. Now he surrendered and let Matt hold him while he slept in the grass. Matt held on, looking at the trees moving against the pale sky without really seeing them, just reveling in the quiet and in his sleeping mate being at peace. Perhaps everything wasn't perfect, but Matt was determined not to let Pietr drown in guilt and self-hatred. They probably still had a lot of issues, but sometimes there were Himiko: Warrior - 109

advantages to being as stubborn as he was. Giving up simply wasn't an option. *** "You're really annoying. You know that, right?" Matt looked at Robbie. Robbie just smiled, raising his eyebrows. Matt laughed. He guessed that he should be exasperated, but he was too happy to care. Things with Pietr were improving, slowly but steadily. There might still be a rift between them, but they were both determined to heal it. It meant that in some ways they were closer than ever, sharing everything, including the hurt and fear that they had been trying to hide from each other. Now they were facing what they felt and dealing with the bad things. Well, with the good things, as well. Mainly sex. The earlier conflict had added an edge of desperation to their lovemaking. The need was laced with more than just physical desire, and every time they made love, it tied them closer together. It had started the night they returned from the lake. They had walked back in almost complete silence, bumping shoulders on the narrow path. Neither of them wanted to be farther apart than necessary. When they arrived at the cabin, Matt looked at Pietr. "I want to make love to you." It made it even hotter to say it out loud. A jolt went through Pietr's mind, of surprise and instant hunger. You want me like that? Fuck, yes. Matt normally got off on being a bottom, but right now, this felt right. Matt wanted to show Pietr that he really loved him, and taking him would somehow do that. And it would be fucking hot. Himiko: Warrior - 110

Pietr burst out laughing when he heard that thought. Then he went quiet as Matt leaned in to kiss him. Matt always wondered at the way Pietr opened up when they did this. Unconditionally and so generously, Pietr opened his mind and surrendered. Just like Pietr would surrender his body to Matt in a few minutes. They both groaned as they felt the lust surge through Pietr at the thought. Come on, let's go. Matt took a firm grip on Pietr's arm and pulled him into the bedroom, where Matt quickly got rid of his clothes. Then he turned to Pietr. Undress for me? Pietr hadn't gotten more than his sweater off. When he sensed Matt's gaze, his fingers got clumsy as he tried to grip the hem of his t-shirt. Matt felt a surge of power go through him -- power and gratitude that he was able to make his mate feel like this. Then Pietr managed to get the t-shirt off, and the excitement overshadowed all other feelings. The screens between their minds that everyday life necessitated crumbled, and Matt was buried in Pietr's mind, feeling his own gaze on Pietr's body and the excitement that it caused. For a moment, he was frozen with the onslaught of emotion. Then Pietr chortled. You've got to give me a break here, honey. I haven't even managed to get naked yet. Matt had to shake himself to answer. Well, hurry up, then! Matt stepped up to Pietr and helped him undo the belt and pull his trousers off. After some fumbling with socks and boxers, Pietr was finally naked. Completely naked. And Matt was kneeling in front of him, in front of Pietr's cock that was so hard it looked painful. Matt engulfed it in a single movement. Himiko: Warrior - 111

Matt! Pietr cried out with all of his being, his mind going white with pleasure. It rushed through Matt as well, and for a moment, all he wanted was to stay here and make Pietr come. Then he reluctantly pulled away, making Pietr whimper as he let his tongue play in the slit on his way back. I have plans for you. He got up and impatiently tugged at Pietr's arm to get him into the bed. Pietr stopped him. I'm yours tonight. I'm always yours. Matt's throat tightened. Then he gave Pietr a hard kiss. I know. Come on. Pietr obediently lay down while Matt rummaged through the drawers to find the lube. Pietr had once told him that anything that turned Matt on turned Pietr on as well, but until now, Pietr had always been the one on top. Finally, Matt found the tube, and he triumphantly flung it on the bed. Pietr grinned. You're nice and focused when you have to be, aren't you? I can be downright determined, you know. He bent and sucked one of Pietr's nipples into his mouth, making his mate hiss with surprise and pleasure. That'll teach me to mo...mock you. Matt grinned; making your mate stutter even when he was speaking mentally was quite an accomplishment. Then he fumbled after the tube and got it open while he kissed his way down Pietr's stomach. Pietr groaned when he gave Pietr's cock a quick lick. Then he pushed out a bit of lube and covered Pietr's hole with it. "Oh!" Pietr's body shook as the pleasure welled up in him. Matt didn't give him much time before pushing one finger into him. It was so tight, and the sensation of the Himiko: Warrior - 112

muscle gripping his finger was echoed by Pietr's feeling of fullness. Been a long time! Matt leaned in and kissed Pietr's hip, holding his finger still. When the iron grip loosened slightly, he gently began moving his finger. Yes, please. More? The question conveyed a request as well as Pietr's doubt that he could take any more. Oh, you'll take far more than this. He pushed his finger in deep and pulled it out again, fucking Pietr with it. Pietr put his head back and moaned. Matt let him see what Matt saw, let him know how much it excited Matt to do this. Pietr opened his eyes, eyelids heavy. More. Please give me more. There was no question this time. Matt gave it to him, and Pietr cried out when he was penetrated by two fingers. There was no pain in his mind, though, just the burn from being opened up and the longing for being even more open. Open for Matt. Shit. Matt had been so caught up in Pietr's reactions that he had kind of forgotten himself. Now he had to take a couple of deep breaths to steady himself enough not to come on the spot. It was almost impossible with Pietr opening up around his fingers and the lust coursing through his mate's mind. Soon. I can't... I have to have you. The desire in Pietr's mind was turning into desperation, the excitement almost painful for him. Matt pulled out his fingers and coated his dick with the lube before he wiped his hand on the sheet. Ready? He knew that Pietr was, but he didn't want to hurt his mate. Now! Matt, now... Oh! Pietr's mind went blank and quiet with the overwhelming pleasure as Matt breached Himiko: Warrior - 113

him, and Matt sank deeper, into his body and his soul, finally being completely entwined with Pietr in every way. Pietr's arms were around him, but he felt nothing but the gratitude radiating from Pietr's mind. Then Matt moved, pushing against something deep inside Pietr, and Pietr cried out. The quietness was suddenly replaced by a need so great that Matt could do nothing but obey it. He pulled out, Pietr's muscles squeezing around his dick all the way. It was almost too much, but he had to sink in again, had to get as close to Pietr as he could get. The movement turned into the most necessary thing in his existence, the demand to sate his mate's desire, to fulfill what Pietr needed more than anything. He started moving, pushing deep every time. It took his breath away, but he had to do it, had to pull out and push those amazing sounds, those amazing feelings out of Pietr. The desire in Pietr's mind grew and grew until it was encompassing them both, a wave of release slowly rolling closer and closer until it broke and took them both with it in a blinding, overwhelming climax. It was completely silent, and all Matt could feel was Pietr, their minds as entwined as they had been those very first days after their bonding. Afterward, Pietr told him that he had been sobbing, calling out Pietr's name again and again. Matt didn't remember anything, nothing but the immense relief of being fully at peace with his mate again. When he came back, he was lying in Pietr's arms, quiet and complete and so incredibly grateful for what Pietr had given him. Thank you, Pietr. Pietr stroked his hair, so much tenderness in his mind. Any time. Always. *** Himiko: Warrior - 114

That had been amazing, but last night had been pretty good, too, even if Matt had to say so himself. Giving blowjobs was his new favorite thing, and Pietr did nothing to hinder him. In fact, he had been whimpering with pleasure the night before. Neither of them seemed to be able to forget it, even if those thoughts were less than practical with Aki and Robbie visiting. After all, dirty secrets were kind of hard to hide from mind readers. They must have been pretty obvious, because Robbie kept smiling whenever one of them thought of last night and sent the other one of those looks. Matt had even managed to make Pietr blush once. In the end, Matt lost his patience with Robbie. "Stop looking at me like that! Is that your version of 'I told you so'?" He couldn't help laughing, though. "I don't even have to say it. You know I was right." Robbie did unbearably smug very well. "Right about what?" Pietr looked from Robbie to Matt as they sat around the table. "Uh, well, something Robbie and I discussed earlier." Matt felt his cheeks getting warm. Pietr looked astounded. "Did he have anything to do with yesterday?" His voice was alarmed. "No! Jesus, no." Matt blushed just at the thought of Robbie talking about that blowjob. Pietr had been crying out with need in the end, and it had been amazingly hot. "I just encouraged Matt to talk to you." Robbie's tone of voice was indulgent. "It was clear that you needed it. I have absolutely no influence on whatever the two of you have been up to apart from that. Although it looks as if it was hot." "Robbie!" The outcry was made in unison. Himiko: Warrior - 115

"Hey, I'm not the one looking like I've had a long night of depraved fornication." "A long night of what?" Aki said, looking stunned as he came in the door. Matt felt delighted when Robbie had the decency to look sheepish. "I, uhh..." "He was being obnoxious," Matt stated. "Ah." Aki nodded, sounding as if that was a completely logical explanation. "You're supposed to defend me now! What happened to your protective streak?" "Someone taught me not to be obsessive?" Aki leaned in, kissing Robbie. It was surprising how quickly Robbie forgot his annoyance. When he pulled back, it was his turn to look meaningfully at Aki. We should probably say something. It's an amazing opportunity to tease them. Pietr sounded thoughtful. Yeah. But they both just watched the way their friends were lost in each other, the gazes exchanged between Aki and Robbie saying more than any words about what their friends wanted to do right now. I want exactly the same thing. Matt could feel the desire growing in Pietr's mind, and he got the double experience of feeling his own desire as well as Pietr's. In a very physical way. You got it. Matt's trousers were getting very tight. However, Pietr didn't get a chance to follow up on his promise. His phone rang half an hour later when Aki and Robbie were about to leave, and he had a short conversation. When he hung up, he looked serious. "It was the Assessor's secretary. Aki and I are going to a meeting this afternoon." He looked at Aki. "He heard about what happened to Robbie, and he wants to discuss 'the human rebellion issue.'" Matt could feel Pietr's mind filling up with dread. Himiko: Warrior - 116

Aki looked worried, too. He just nodded, though. "Okay. We'll just have to see what he wants done." *** After the meeting, Pietr and Aki came back to the cabin. They were very quiet when they joined Matt and Robbie at the kitchen table. "This isn't good." Matt impatiently waited for Pietr to tell him more. "He wanted a solution to 'the human problem.'" Aki didn't look up as he answered Matt's silent question. "What? How?" Aki shrugged. "He didn't say, but he wants us to meet again next week. In Washington, DC." He wouldn't meet Matt's eyes. "But what's going to happen?" "We don't know, okay?" Aki stood up and left the room. Robbie gave an apologetic gesture and followed him into the kitchen. What's this all about? Even Pietr seemed reluctant to answer. I really don't know, Matt. Neither does Aki, and that's bothering him a lot. It's just that... I have a really bad feeling about this. So does he, I think, and it's eating at him. He doesn't like it when he can't trust his leaders; he's all about discipline. Pietr wouldn't say any more about the subject, and Matt got a clear feeling that it was because he really didn't know. There was a sense of foreboding in his mind, though, and it made the Himiko uneasy. Aki was restless, too, when he and Robbie finally joined them in the living room. "Listen, we don't know anything, okay? Everything might work out just fine." Aki didn't sound the least bit Himiko: Warrior - 117

convinced that his own words were true. "And we can't do anything before the meeting, anyway." "Yes, we can. We can find out as much as possible about what's going on." Matt looked around at his friends. Aki nodded, looking almost relieved to have something to do. "What do we do?" "We hit the computers and see what's happening." They did, and the result wasn't encouraging. The dissatisfaction was spreading like wildfire by now. In the beginning, they had been able to attribute most of it to certain persons or at least areas. Now it was worldwide, with the States as the place where it was most pronounced. It was also the place where most of the Himika lived, and the only place where there had been a riot in the beginning, so it made sense. It didn't make the situation any less serious, though. Between the things they read and the attack on Robbie, things were clearly getting out of hand. Late into the night, they watched the news and the Internet almost constantly. They took turns covering developments in every time zone. The reactions were getting worse almost by the hour. The uproar was spreading fast, with even the newsreaders at the big TV stations freely quoting the rebellious comments until it didn't sound as if they were quoting anymore. It was Matt who found out what was going on in DC the following week at the time scheduled for the Assessor's meeting. He had been searching Facebook to see if he could find anything there. He was on the profile of a friend of a friend when he noticed the strange name of an event in the corner of the page: 4th A DC 1600. He scanned every profile he had access to, and noticed the same event on a lot of them. At last, he found Anne's profile. Social Himiko: Warrior - 118

media illiterate that his former secretary was, she had never deleted Matt from her friends list. She had written a comment on Shaun's profile: "CU@Mall Sat! Everybody's coming -- bring your signs and flyers!" It was the capital M that finally made it come together for Matt. "I think there's something going on in Washington, DC. At the Mall, but I don't get the date. Anne thinks it's at the same time as your meeting, but it says '4th A' here, and we're months away from August." Aki looked up, rubbing his eyes. He looked tired enough to keel over at any minute. "How do you know?" "I don't, at least not for sure, but a lot of my old friends have accepted an invitation to something called '4th A DC 1600,' and Anne wrote that she would see Shaun at the Mall Saturday." "What do you mean?" He leaned over Matt's shoulder to see. "The fourth? It doesn't have to be a date, does it?" "4th A? What else could it be?" Matt couldn't think straight anymore, he was so tired. Pietr looked up, his eyes a little red from the lack of sleep. "I think it's the Fourth Amendment, Matt." Some people yelled that at us when we came for them. The sense of shame was back in Pietr's mind. "That's the one about having to have a search warrant?" Matt was tired, and the only place he had encountered the amendments since high school was in the police shows he used to watch late at night. "Or about not taking people with you without an arrest warrant." "Oh." That made sense. Matt looked down at the Facebook page again and clicked on the page of the event. "It could be something against the recruiting, then." You can call it harvesting, Matt. Everybody else does. Himiko: Warrior - 119

God, Matt wished he could say something to make Pietr feel better about this. He just didn't have any words. "There's a lot of people saying they're coming; there're almost 10,000 confirmed responses on this page alone, and there's still more than a week to go. And there's hardly any information on the page, which in itself is odd." There was a clock, though, ticking down. He did a little bit of math. "It'll start Saturday next week at four o' clock. That matches the '1600' on the event page." He looked up. "I think we've solved the mystery. It's a demonstration; Anne told Shaun to bring his signs and flyers." "It doesn't answer why the Assessor thinks we need to be there. We'll just have to wait and see." Aki bent over his computer again. Matt did the same thing, and the results weren't encouraging. Bits of the video of Matt being harvested were shown over and over, and Matt winced every time he saw the fear in his own eyes. The most popular clip was the moment when the Himiko was lifting Matt's head to enable him to breathe. However, the media interpreted it as the Himiko trying to choke him, and Matt spent a tense hour reading through discussion forums condemning this action. "But that wasn't how it was!" He was exasperated and exhausted, and when he looked up, Robbie was the only one in the room apart from Matt. Only then did Matt realize how late in the night it was. "They don't know that." Robbie looked tired as he shut off the television, which had been showing a European expert condemning the breach of human rights in the wake of the Himiko invasion. "Invasion" had Himiko: Warrior - 120

become the word everybody used to signify the Himiko presence on Earth. "They don't know anything," the Himiko continued. "Just that they're scared out of their minds and fed up with that. It's a really dangerous situation, Matt." Matt sat forward, supporting his head in his hands. "I know. They're still so many more than us. Than you, I mean. Fuck, I don't know what I mean." He was so tired. He got a brief and very confusing range of images from Robbie, of things a Himiko could do but couldn't do to defend himself. Robbie quickly suppressed the images, though, and Matt didn't reveal that he had seen them; he might be so close to Robbie that he couldn't avoid it, but it still wasn't polite to eavesdrop like that. "We need to sleep." Matt started protesting. Robbie didn't listen at all, just pulled him up and physically dragged him to the bedroom, where a sleeping Pietr lay in the middle of their bed, one arm reaching out over the spot where Matt normally slept. "Go to him." Matt felt a fleeting admiration for the way Robbie manipulated him. Then his mind was filled with longing for his mate, compelling him to lie down and push in under that arm, finally finding some peace. Thanks. Robbie just smiled in his mind, his thoughts on finding his own mate.

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7 When he padded into the kitchen the next day, wearing only his sweatpants, Pietr and Robbie were having breakfast while Aki was having lunch. It was very confusing. He's so not a morning person, is he? Robbie was laughing his ass off hearing Matt's poorly concealed, sleepy thoughts. Pietr pulled Matt down onto a chair, kissing him fondly on the cheek. Give him some coffee and a chance to wake up. Aki handed Matt a cup, the Himiko's face surprisingly tender. His mentor briefly squeezed his shoulder before the Himiko sat down to eat again. He knows about not being good at adapting. Pietr's words were for Matt only. Bonding hasn't been easy for him. He's so damn disciplined. He certainly is. It talks! Pietr playfully nudged Matt, once more including all of them in his thoughts. Trust Pietr never to miss a chance to tease. It does, and it beats you, too, if it gets sufficiently provoked. He pushed closer to Pietr, though, stealing a piece of bread from Pietr's plate as an excuse. This is all very homey. Well, your kind of homey, of course. Matt did not have to look up to see Robbie's raised eyebrows, so he didn't. They ate in companionable silence, and Matt had almost finished his breakfast when they heard a car stopping outside. Himiko: Warrior - 122

"What the fuck are they doing here?" Matt was confused enough to just stay in his chair, and Pietr got up to open the door. Sam and Jerry came into the kitchen. "This all looks very cozy. Haven't any of you been watching the news lately?" Sam looked around, taking in Matt's lack of proper clothes and the food on the table. "How dare you come here?" Aki was snarling at Sam as he stood, and the atmosphere in the room immediately became charged as the two Himika stared down each other. "I had to." Sam didn't back down an inch, and the tension flared higher. "I couldn't let my sensitive ethics get in the way of real life. Just because you're too delicate to face the truth, it doesn't mean that I can allow myself that luxury as well. I want to talk to Matt." Aki growled. "No, you fucking don't. You've done enough with your teaching." "I haven't taught Matt anything that he didn't know already. And now I need him." "Don't drag him into whatever you're planning! Don't make him into what you are." Matt suddenly felt something similar to the Assessor's crawly attempt at getting into his brain, only a lot cruder. He slapped Jerry to keep the Himiko out of his head, the mental attack leaving a clear set of fingerprints on his former teacher's cheek. "Nice." Jerry lifted his eyebrows as he admired the mark on his face in the mirror on the kitchen wall. "He already is what I am, Aki. And what you are, too. That should be proof enough for you." Sam pointed at the mark on Jerry's face where Matt had hit him without ever touching him. Himiko: Warrior - 123

Aki roared, but he didn't do anything except take a step forward, hands fisted closely at his sides. The anger combined with the immobility gave him a strangely helpless air. "You'll just never admit it, will you? You desperately want to smack me, but you keep yourself so fucking tightly wound up that nothing ever gets through." Sam was sneering. "That's enough!" Matt yelled, both mentally and out loud. Aki's head whipped around, and Jerry moaned and cradled his head in his hands. Jesus, baby. They'll behave. Try not to blow our minds next time, okay? Pietr's inner voice was shaken. Matt refused to back down. "The two of you have a serious explanation problem. There's obviously a ton of things that you've neglected to tell me." He glared at Aki and Sam. "So, get to it." "There's no time!" Sam looked at him, agitated. "The Assessor wants us to go to DC next week." "You, too?" Aki looked astounded. "Then you do have time, don't you?" Matt interrupted him. "I'm not exactly known for my patience, you know. If you want to talk to me, talk." "You're a Warrior, Matt." Aki made a low, threatening sound, but Sam ignored him and continued. "The way you can interfere with inanimate things, the way you just hit Jerry without touching him physically; it's very rare." "It's fucking dangerous, that's what it is." Matt couldn't remember Aki ever cursing before, and that was enough to shock him into listening carefully to his mentor. "He's not like you." "No." Sam looked calmly at Aki. "He's like us. As in you, and Jerry, and me." Himiko: Warrior - 124

It looked as though someone had suddenly drained Aki of all energy. Robbie, who had kept in the background until now, was quickly at his side, but Aki's mate didn't try to interfere with the conversation. Aki sat down heavily. "I can't be, Sam. You can't be. You know what happened." Matt got a jumble of horrible pictures from Aki, of Himika torturing and killing each other without using any weapons. "Oh, they did use weapons, Matt." Aki smiled, a bitter smile. "They used their minds, and it came close to destroying our entire civilization. But we learned our lesson. There are no more Warriors among us." "But there are!" Sam had started pacing the floor. "We aren't trained, and I didn't train Matt like that, either. But the ability is impossible to hide -- you just saw that, Aki. Look at Jerry's cheek!" Jerry looked a bit sheepish as every head in the room turned to look at the handprint on his face. "And we need that skill now." Aki started to protest, but Sam interrupted. "The Assessor wants to meet with us to handle 'the human issue.' 'Once and for all,' he said." "And so what? We'll go there and see what he wants. It hasn't anything to do with Matt." There was an undertone of desperation in Aki's voice now, and Matt could feel that he was speaking against better knowledge. Sam looked almost sympathetically at Aki. Then he took a deep breath. "I think he wants to use us like the old-world leaders used their Warriors." Matt felt Pietr's mind going cold with shock. "He wants what?" Robbie's voice sounded weak. Himiko: Warrior - 125

"He wants to use us as weapons. To kill and terrify enough humans to scare the rest into submission. And my guess is, he'd rather be on the safe side in terms of the exact number he uses to achieve that effect." *** There was a stunned silence in the room after that. Then everybody started speaking at the same time. "How can you know that?" Aki asked, while Robbie demanded that Matt be kept out of this. Pietr was quiet, though. Are you okay? Pietr? It was all very well to act grown up in Himiko terms, but sometimes it sucked not to know what your mate thought. I think Sam is right. Something bad's happening. Pietr included all of the Himika in his answer to Matt, and the kitchen fell quiet again. Pietr looked up briefly and continued. I've been unsure of the Assessor's intentions for a while now. Matt got a confusing jumble of thoughts of meetings not held, information passing Pietr by, and other information he had been told to keep secret. Then his mate went on. This is a golden opportunity for him to do something. Something not good. It was the first Aki and Robbie heard of this, and Robbie was shocked speechless. Aki only nodded, though. Did you know something about this? Robbie was getting angry, a rare thing. Matt got the sense that being a leader meant something to the Himika; leaders seemed to be trusted almost blindly. Aki just shook his head. They sat, looking at each other in silence. Himiko: Warrior - 126

"I think things might go wrong." Pietr's words stood all the clearer because he had spoken them out loud. "Really wrong." "I can assure you they will go wrong, buddy, if we don't do anything." Sam was marginally calmer now, but he still looked restless. "This is an impossible choice." Aki was slumped in the chair, Robbie's hand comfortingly on his shoulder. "We can't let it happen, and we can't fight him. It's hopeless." There was such despair in his mentor's voice that Robbie automatically reached out for him, as did Pietr. Even Sam looked worried. "We can fight him." They looked up as Jerry spoke. He looked a little embarrassed by the attention, but continued. "Well, we can't. Matt can." "Fuck, no!" Pietr stood up now, towering over Matt's chair. He suddenly looked very, very big. I won't have him killed. "It's our only chance." Sam's voice was quiet, filled with certainty. "It's either that or start killing humans. And that will get us killed eventually, one way or another." Matt got another of those flashes of accompanying images, this time of Himika losing their minds from the things they had done to other Himika. "Come on! Stop this crap; the only things I've ever fought successfully are branches and cones." Matt wanted to laugh at all this, but he had a strong feeling that nobody was joking. "If anybody can fight, it's you." He nodded at his former teachers. Sam and Jerry hadn't had any problems teaching him. But Sam just shook his head, mirrored by Jerry. "We've spent a lifetime reining in our abilities; it won't do any good trying to get all that discipline undone now. Himiko: Warrior - 127

Believe me, we've tried." His eyes met Jerry's, and there was a certain pain there. "And Aki can't do it at all; he had enough trouble just bonding, am I right?" He ignored Aki's protests and looked at Robbie, who nodded silently. "You're not like us, Matt, and that might be our only hope." Jerry's voice was quiet, but his words still carried through the room. "So, now I'm supposed to fix world peace? Anything else, now that I'm at it?" Matt knew that he sounded slightly hysterical, but he couldn't help it. "Well, that would be a nice side effect." Pietr glared at Sam, and Sam continued, chastened. "But we just want you to put the Assessor out of the game." Robbie snorted, and Matt looked suspiciously at Sam. "I have a feeling that that's not something you 'just' do." "It isn't. But you're the only one who's ever come close to touching him." Matt looked uncomprehendingly at Sam. "You hurt him when he tried to gauge your strength." Matt suddenly remembered the situation right before he left the clinic. "But I just smacked his fingers! That hasn't got anything to do with..." He realized that he didn't actually know what they wanted him to do. "Am I supposed to be some kind of assassin? Because that's just a fancy name for a murderer." Matt could feel himself getting angry. "No! Nothing like that. Well..." "We want you to immobilize him enough for us to get him to prison." Jerry spoke so little that people tended to listen all the better when he finally did. And there wasn't any attempt at hiding anything behind his words -- Matt checked, ignoring Jerry's wince. They really wanted the Assessor to live. "If we try anything Himiko: Warrior - 128

else, he'll overpower or kill us. Probably both. He's a Warrior, too; that's one of the biggest reasons why he's our leader." Aki made a sound, and Jerry impatiently turned to him. "You know that's the reason, whether it's politically correct or not." Aki didn't say anything to that. "So you want him to live to be punished." Matt got a clear picture from Jerry of something very similar to the retreat that Pietr had described early on in their relationship. "Yes. Or at least kept harmless. The retreat would have insulated walls like the ones that protected you after you had your operation. Only in this case, they would protect the world from the Assessor, not the other way around." "Why the fuck don't you just hold an election?" Matt sat down, the task before him seeming more and more impossible every minute. "First of all, it's not fast enough. Second, it's useless since we want the strongest Himiko as our leader and that goes without saying and certainly without elections. And third: the Assessor wouldn't give a damn." Sam sounded patient as he numbered the reasons on his fingers. "Okay, then, if I agree, what do you want me to do?" There was silence in the room as Sam looked at Jerry. "Please don't tell me that you don't know." Matt leaned forward, looking from one Warrior to the other. "Please." Sam shrugged, looking a little sheepish. "The point is that we don't know how you do it." "You must be out of your fucking minds!" Matt was shouting now, very loudly. He stormed out of the room, Pietr behind him. Himiko: Warrior - 129

"Don't you dare say anything!" Even in the middle of his rage, Matt had a feeling that Pietr didn't deserve to be shouted at. His mate just sat down in one of the chairs in the garden and watched Matt pace up and down the terrace. The other Himika wisely kept inside. "I'm not going to do it! It's not even a plan, and they haven't got the faintest idea what I'm supposed to do!" I don't think you should. "It's not as if I would have a chance to..." Matt stopped abruptly. You don't? No. This isn't your mess; you have no obligation to get us out of it. There was nothing but conviction in Pietr's mind. Is this some weird kind of reverse psychology? Matt narrowed his eyes. Himika can't do that. I just don't think this is your responsibility; you've been through enough. Matt felt the air going out of him at the compassion and honesty in Pietr's mind. He sat down next to his mate, taking Pietr's hand. But what about the people in the demonstration next week? What if the Assessor finds a way to use Sam and Jerry -- or Aki -- to get what he wants? I don't want to put you through this. Pietr's honesty meant that Matt got a clear image of what Matt's refusal to help would cost Pietr: His peace of mind at best. His life at worst. And the latter was a very strong possibility. Matt stared at his mate in shock. The Assessor's that strong? He shook his head; he already knew that. He's that malicious? He'd really do that? He'd really do that. Back at the clinic, you experienced how easily he violated the most fundamental principle of the Himika -- never to force your way into someone's mind. At the meeting yesterday, Himiko: Warrior - 130

he was determined to find a solution that would keep him in power. I think he'd do whatever it takes. For once, Matt wished he didn't get all these associations when Himika spoke to him using their minds. The images that followed Pietr's thoughts were horrible. "But it doesn't make sense." Matt tried one last time. "There are still so many more humans than Himika. If he won this one time, he would still be defeated sooner or later." "I'm not sure. And how many human lives will it take, even if you're right?" Matt didn't answer. There was a horrible logic to everything his mate said. He stood up and went inside without looking back to see if Pietr was following him. "Why do you think I can beat him?" Matt had interrupted a quiet conversation, and the four Himika looked up at him. "I know that I can hold my own against you and Jerry," he nodded at Sam, "but that's nothing compared to the Assessor. No offense." "None taken." Jerry shrugged. "You can hold your own against me, too." Aki spoke quietly. "And me." Pietr had come in from the garden and was standing right behind him. "Yes, but still." Sam didn't seem to have heard Matt's last words. "He can match you?" The Warrior was looking from Pietr to Aki, shock on his face. They both nodded. "Yes, but they're just ordinary Himika -- they're not the Assessor." To Matt's consternation, Sam started laughing, a deep belly laugh. "Oh, no, Matt. They're not ordinary." He made a visible effort to pull himself together. "Your mate and your mentor are probably the two strongest Himiko: Warrior - 131

Himika on this planet, except for the Assessor. If you can match them, then we have a real chance of success." "What if he can do that -- and more, too? Does he have a chance then?" Aki asked. Matt could feel the thoughts churning in Aki's mind. "God, you're thinking harder than a fox outside of a chicken yard." Matt just couldn't help teasing him. "You see?" Aki looked meaningfully at Sam. Matt just looked from one to the other, confused. Sam seemed to decide to take pity on him. "You're not supposed to be able to do that, Matt." "I'm not eavesdropping," Matt protested. He had learned how to be polite. "No, you're not, and that's why it's extraordinary that you still do it." Sam looked back at Aki. "What do you mean?" None of this made much sense to Matt. Sam didn't get a chance to answer before Aki started speaking. "He can do this thing -- like he's uniting Pietr and me with him." Aki reached out an arm for him and pulled Pietr in close, too. Matt instantly felt their connection. Sam took a step backward. "Jesus, Matt!" He quickly recovered, though. "Can you shield all three of you, too?" "Sure." This was really easy for Matt by now; he had had so much time to experiment on their business trips that it was a piece of cake to include Aki in it. "I can even make us into three dumb humans -- watch this." He fiddled with the shield until only a very limited part of their personalities peeked out. "Fuck!" Jerry looked astounded, but recovered quickly. "Can you use their power, too?" Matt thought for a moment. "Like this?" He drew on his mate and his mentor and pushed the door to close it. Himiko: Warrior - 132

It slammed so hard that it broke off the top hinges and swung back, dangling precariously. It was torn apart down the middle, the edge of the split fringed with splinters of light wood. "Uh, I guess so?" I think we need a new door, Pietr. "This might work." Sam looked at them and then at Jerry. "This might fucking work." Matt was very tempted to point out that it would have been more reassuring if Sam had thought this from the beginning, but he was soon absorbed in trying to do all the different things that Sam ordered him to. They weren't too difficult, and since he drew on the energy of three people instead of one, he didn't tire at all. Sam finally nodded. "I think we can do this. We'll need to practice a lot before next week, but we can do it. You can do it, Matt." Matt still hesitated, the enormity of the task warring with his easy mastery of the things Sam had asked him to do. Then he thought back to what Pietr had refused to tell him before. If he didn't do this, there was a very real chance that his mate would be forced to do unspeakable things; things that would break Pietr, things that Pietr would never recover from. The decision was easy after Matt realized that. "I'll do it."

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8 Sam and Jerry insisted on beginning Matt's training right away. He would have to do the first part of it alone -- or rather, it didn't make any difference if Pietr and Aki were connected to him or not during his first exercises. They gave him power, but it was up to Matt to learn how to use it. So he left Pietr, Aki, and Robbie at the cabin to do more research while he went with the two Warriors down to the oak tree to practice. The first tasks were easy, very much like what he had been practicing for so long here: pushing cones around, breaking branches, and splitting fallen tree trunks. However, they quickly moved past that. "Take this." Sam threw a fallen branch at him, and Matt caught it just before it would have hit him in the head. He raised his eyebrows, but Sam just grinned. "You have to be on your toes." The Himiko found another branch and weighed it in his hands. Then he nodded. "You ever played pirates when you were a kid? With swords and stuff?" Sam asked as he looked inquiringly at Matt. Matt nodded. "Sure." "Good. Pretend the branches are swords." Without any further warning, Sam used the branch to try to hit Matt in the head. It was only because Matt ducked that he didn't get his face smashed in. "No, use the branch to defend yourself." Sam didn't seem even a little sorry that he had almost sent Matt to the hospital. On the contrary; before Matt could answer, he struck again. Himiko: Warrior - 134

This time, Matt managed to get his branch up, and the strike jarred his hands and shoulder, reminding him that he had several recently healed fractures. "Jesus! Will you relax?" The anger was building in him. Sam didn't apologize, just struck at him again. Matt tried to keep up, but Sam was a lot bigger and stronger than he was, and he was forced to retreat until he had his back against a tree. He desperately tried to avoid the blows, but in the end, he stumbled and half-fell on the ground, putting his hands up in surrender. "Stop! Please." He fought to breathe. "So, how do you like being on your knees?" Sam was grinning. "Fuck you!" Matt jumped back up and grabbed his make-believe sword, taking a swing at Sam. Sam easily avoided it and made a riposte that Matt only barely managed to block. Then another, and another, and Matt was driven backward once again, until Sam swung his branch in a low stroke that swiped the legs out from under Matt. He hit the ground hard enough to be completely winded, and for a moment, he couldn't breathe. Then Jerry was there, lifting his waist, and that forced the air back into his lungs. He gasped, so grateful to be able to breathe again, and Jerry carefully lowered him to the ground. He rolled to his stomach, trying to collect himself enough to get up. "You don't like that much, do you?" With a roar, he got up and went for Sam's throat. Sam did a quick move, and then he was on the ground again, only this time with Sam's knee in his back and his right arm wrenched at an angle it wasn't supposed to be in. "That's one way of doing it. How do you think it's working for you?" Himiko: Warrior - 135

Matt tried to twist out of Sam's grip, but that only made it feel like his arm was about to come off. In the end, he was forced to answer. "It doesn't, okay? Fuck you!" Sam slowly moved and let go of his arm, rubbing his sore shoulder. Matt scrambled to sit up, scowling at Sam. "Good. Then make a fucking effort. You can either keep losing, or I can teach you something that'll improve your chances of winning. What will it be?" Matt sent Sam a glare. He had been making an effort. "I asked you a question." "Teach me, you asshole!" Sam nodded, seeming completely unperturbed. And not nearly as out of breath as Matt, which wasn't good for Matt's confidence. "All right, get up." Matt grudgingly complied, catching the stick when Sam threw it at him. "Now I want you to imagine that the stick is an extension of your power, like energy flowing out of your body and into it." "What is this, fucking Star Wars?" "What?" "Star Wars. Lightsabers, you know?" Sam looked uncomprehendingly at him. "The movie!" Sam shrugged. "Sorry, don't know it." Jerry rumbled in the background. "I do, and I can't believe why humans picked up all of the most violent things from us." Matt turned to him, incredulous. "And you're saying that while you're teaching me how to fight that psychotic leader of yours?" Himiko: Warrior - 136

"Huh. You got a point." Jerry sat down again, resting against a tree and looking as if this lesson was great entertainment. "Well, white sabers or not..." "Lightsabers." Sam rolled his eyes. "I don't care about the fucking sabers. I just want you to use the stick as an extension of your power. Like this." He stood next to Matt -- which went a long way toward reducing Matt's fear of being whacked over the head any minute -- and reached out with the stick. It began sort of vibrating, and he swung it even faster than he had been able to before. Imitating him seemed like the only way to survive psychopath Sam, so Matt followed the Himiko's orders. In the beginning, nothing happened. "Stretch out your mind, all the way to the tip of your stick," Sam instructed him after a few fruitless tries. "I can show you if you want." Matt had absolutely no wish to have Sam inside his mind, so he stared at the stick and tried harder. It still didn't work, and he huffed and cursed the damn thing. It moved slightly. "Yes, like that. Do it again." Matt had no idea what he had actually done, but he tried pushing at the stick again. It swerved through the air, and he almost managed to knock himself over with it. "And now less suicidally, please." Matt ground his teeth and told himself not to kill Sam. The instruction worked, though, or maybe it was his anger energizing him. Whatever the reason, within a few minutes, he could move the stick around. It felt strange transferring his mental energy that way in the beginning, like having some of his intestines on the Himiko: Warrior - 137

outside of his body. Jerry made a disgusted noise when Matt informed the Himiko of that observation. "Okay, now try a basic defense. I won't move too fast." For once, Sam was considerate enough to move his own stick down in a slow attack. Matt blocked it effortlessly. "Good! Now, let's try a bit more." They moved back and forward, the slow dance gradually turning into something resembling their earlier fight. Only this time, Matt had a real chance of keeping up. Sam might be bigger and stronger, but mentally, Matt could hold his own against him. It was almost fun, enough that he got careless and dropped his stick when he poured too much energy into it. "You can't control it unless you touch it..." Sam stared as Matt reached out his hand for the stick, picking it up without touching it. "Guys, time for a break." Jerry interrupted them, handing out sodas and power bars. Matt hadn't noticed how tough the workout was before now, but he gratefully took the snacks from Jerry and sat down. He was still scowling at Sam, but his teacher seemed completely oblivious to it, and reluctantly, Matt had to admit that he was learning a lot. And learning fast; apparently, learning by doing worked better for him than long explanations. Even though it would have been nice if "doing" didn't equal "defend yourself against a raving madman." The pause was brief, and then they were back to the training. Matt got faster and faster, and he could use the stick almost as quickly as he could think of the move. It was extremely cool, and he couldn't help showing off a bit. He grinned when he got his revenge on Sam, sweeping the Himiko's legs out from under him and Himiko: Warrior - 138

making his trainer land in a sprawling heap on the ground. "Okay, I guess you haven't got any problems going for me instead of going after the stick," Sam said grudgingly after he had gotten back up. "That was the first part I needed to teach you, but it seems that you aren't as fucking delicate as most humans. They're so fucking hung up on hurting somebody, but you've got a temper." "I don't have anger management problems!" Sam looked at him disbelievingly. "Of course you don't. You're a fucking Warrior; this is how we are. I just needed to peel off the layer of civilization." Matt reeled at the stark difference between Sam's words and Pietr's earlier explanations of the Himika's philanthropic reason to be on Earth. It seemed that Warriors really were very different from other Himika. He was about to ask Sam about that, but Sam continued before he could think about the implications of what the Himiko had just said. "Now for the next part: do what you just did, but without the stick." Matt frowned. "You mean with my hands?" Sam shook his head. "No, with your mind. The stick was only a visual aid to channel your power. Give me a shove or something, but only use your mind." Matt didn't really think it would work. After all, this was what he had tried so desperately to do when he got assaulted. But he collected a little bit of his power and carefully pushed Sam. The result was shocking. Sam bent over, fell to his knees, and got violently sick. Jerry was at his side quickly, supporting him, but Jerry couldn't do anything but hold him while he was retching. He didn't seem to be able to stop, going on Himiko: Warrior - 139

long after his stomach was empty, almost choking with it. "Jesus, Sam, I'm sorry!" Matt didn't know what to do, looking on helplessly. "Don't be." Sam spat on the ground. "It worked." Then he bent over and tried to throw up again. Pietr? Could you get Robbie down here? Sam is sick. Of course. Pietr quickly looked through Matt's mind to check that his mate was all right. I'll come down, too. Matt didn't protest; he felt terrible looking at Sam heaving for air in Jerry's arms. It must have shown on his face, because there was pity in Jerry's eyes when the Himiko looked up, still holding on to Sam. "Hey, Matt, it's okay," Jerry said. "But I didn't want this to happen! I didn't even know I could do it." "Really? Remember slapping my face?" Jerry seemed slightly amused. "This is the same thing, basically. And you didn't do anything he didn't ask you to do." "Yeah, I asked for it. Literally." Sam tried to sit up a bit, Jerry rubbing his back. He didn't quite manage, though. Matt hurried to his side, and together with Jerry, they managed to lift him away from the pool of sick and onto a blanket. He could hardly move, and his stomach seemed to be cramping too much for him to stretch out properly. Matt got him some water and tried to make him drink, but he refused. It seemed like forever before Robbie came. "So, what happened? Oh, dear." Robbie went in a straight line to Sam. "Either you're a very good or a very bad teacher." "Very good. Fuck, I feel like shit." Sam was hunched over, his legs pulled up. Himiko: Warrior - 140

"I'll spare you the 'I told you so'; I trust my mate to say that." Aki came into the clearing at that moment. "Yeah? Why? Oh, shit, Sam!" Aki didn't swear very often, but his face was shocked when he saw Sam. Sam just made a weak gesture with one hand. Are you okay, Matt? Pietr's voice was concerned. "What, is everybody here now?" Matt tried to grouch, but he gratefully sank into Pietr's arms. I fucked up. Pietr sighed. I don't think you did, baby. This is how it is. Then I'm fucking out of here. There's no way I'm going to do anything like this. Shh. He'll be all right as soon as Robbie helps him. Matt looked up to see Jerry holding Sam while Robbie put a hand on Sam's stomach. Sam moaned, and then the tension left his body, finally enabling him to stretch out. Jerry gave him something to drink and helped him lie down on the blanket. Sam blinked his eyes open and saw Matt. "Hey, not your fault, kid." He turned his head to Jerry. "Don't let him freak out, okay? And get lost; I need a nap." He closed his eyes again. "Shouldn't we get him up to the house?" Matt was hovering over his trainer. "No, that's not necessary." Robbie looked far more authoritative than usual when he was in the middle of a medical situation. "I could give him a sedative, but a nap will do exactly the same for him, and the grass is soft. Just let him rest a bit." "What happened?" Matt had to pull himself together to ask. Robbie huffed. "What happened is that Sam's getting soft." Himiko: Warrior - 141

"Fuck you." Sam flipped Robbie off without even opening his eyes. "No, thank you." Robbie turned his attention back to Matt. "You hit him exactly right, and that made all of his stomach muscles contract. It feels a bit like an electric current when that happens to you, just a lot more disgusting." Robbie shuddered. "But he isn't hurt, and if I know him, he had it coming." Matt automatically looked down at Sam, but the Himiko didn't even bother to protest. Maybe it really wasn't that bad. It isn't. And you managed to beat the ass of the most annoying Himiko ever. That can't possibly be a bad thing. Against his will, Matt smiled at Pietr's comment. "So, guys, the drama is over. Go back to the cabin, and I'll take Matt somewhere else while Sam gets some rest." Jerry didn't sound like it was up for debate, so Matt reluctantly let Pietr and the other two Himika go. Don't worry. I'll come to your rescue any time. Pietr's words would have been very sweet, if it hadn't been for the clear image in Pietr's mind of Matt as a damsel in distress. Fuck off. Matt turned his back to his mate and heard Pietr laughing at him. It did more to calm him down than anything else. "So, wanna take a walk?" Jerry asked him. Matt nodded. "That way." He wanted to go to the lake. They walked a bit in silence, and then Jerry spoke. "You do realize that it wasn't your fault, right?" Matt didn't look up. "That's bullshit. I did it; of course it's my fault." "That wasn't what I meant." Jerry sounded impatient. Himiko: Warrior - 142

"So, what did you mean?" Matt stopped and looked at Jerry. "That it's okay to do something like that to a friend because I'm rehearsing doing something a lot worse to an enemy?" Jerry cocked his head. "Yeah. That about sums it up." He began walking again. "It isn't that simple!" Jerry spun around and pushed him back against a tree. "Yes, sometimes it is that fucking simple, and you know it! That's what being a Warrior means. You stop pussyfooting around and do what needs to be done. Then you can cry over it afterward." "Then I'm not a Warrior!" It had felt horrible to see Sam like that. "Because you don't like the consequences of your actions?" Jerry was suddenly very close. Matt nodded reluctantly. "Tough luck, Matt. Because you have the ability; that means you have the responsibility to use it." Jerry pulled back and started walking again. "I don't think I can do it." Jerry came back to where Matt stood, the anger on his face being replaced by a kind expression when he saw Matt's look of self-doubt. "I know it was a lot all at once, okay?" He put a hand around Matt's shoulder and started walking again. Matt reluctantly accepted his lead. "If only you could keep from using enough force to destroy a small village every time you do something, your companions wouldn't be throwing their guts up all over the place." "I only used a tiny bit of my force," Matt protested, a little embarrassed. Jerry turned to stare at Matt. Then he started chuckling, and he didn't stop until he was roaring with laughter. Himiko: Warrior - 143

"What?" Matt couldn't help smiling; Jerry's laughter was infectious. "God, Matt. You're something, you know that?" Matt shrugged. "I guess I don't. I just try to do things as well as I can. Preferably without killing myself or anybody else in the process." They came out in the open along the shore, and Jerry stopped, looking out over the lake. He didn't say anything, but Matt could feel how he relaxed, taking in the view. Then he nodded to himself and sat down on the grass. "Are you sure he's going to be okay?" Jerry looked up. "Who, Sam? Of course. He's tough." Matt sat down next to Jerry. "He didn't look so tough before." Jerry snorted. "No. I'm going to use that against him for a long, long time to come." "You aren't bonded, are you?" Matt didn't get that connected feeling from them that he got from other mated couples. Jerry went very quiet. "No, we're not." The air was suddenly so thick with sorrow that Matt had trouble breathing. "You can feel it, can't you?" Jerry was watching him. Matt smiled apologetically. "Yeah. Sorry." Jerry shrugged. "Nothing to be sorry about." "What happened?" Now that Matt knew there was something there, it would only fester if it was left unsaid. "My mate died." Jerry's voice was quiet. Matt went cold when he heard the brief statement. Just the thought of losing Pietr sent him into icy panic. "I... I didn't think you could survive that."

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Jerry shrugged, not looking at Matt. "Most Himika don't. But Sam was there, and the stubborn bastard refused to let me go." There was a quiet acceptance about his words, but as usual, Matt got a lot more than just the words. Jerry hadn't wanted to live; he had wanted to die like his mate. "How did it happen?" "The war." "I'm sorry." Jerry shrugged again. "It is what it is. After Sam pulled me back up, I didn't really have a choice whether to live or not. I'm making the best of it. Stor would have killed me if I didn't." "Your mate?" "Yeah. He was Sam's best friend, and then we bonded. It was... eventful. A lot of big egos in a very small space." Jerry smiled a sad smile. "Never a dull moment?" "Definitely not. Robbie reminds me a bit of him." Jerry turned toward Matt. "Listen, I'm only going to say this to you once, so you better pay attention. Stor died because of a war that could have been prevented. I'm not going to have Sam killed now, or you, or Pietr. So you're going to stop whining and take the Assessor out, no matter what it takes, or I'll have your ass on a plate. Got it?" Matt studied him for a long time. Then he stretched out his hand. "Deal." Jerry looked at it, eyebrows lifted, before reaching out to shake it. Then he got up. "Let's get back to Sleeping Beauty." ***

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Sam was almost able to walk straight when they woke him up. Jerry took one look at him and decided that "almost" wasn't enough. "The kid will kill you if you do any more work today," he grumbled before reaching for his friend's arm and hoisting it over his shoulder. Then he marched Sam back to the cabin and put him to bed in the guest room. Sam didn't even protest much. They had dinner, and Matt could feel Pietr's eyes on him during the meal. When they were done, Pietr reached out for Matt. "Come on. Let's go to bed." It was way too early, but Matt didn't protest. He felt more and more miserable the more he thought of the prone Himiko in the guest room. Pietr pulled Matt into a hug as soon as the door closed behind them, and he didn't let go. Matt let all of his defenses down and let Pietr see how terrible he felt about what he had done, and how scared he was to have to do it again. You're okay, Matt. Everything's fine. Pietr rubbed his back, pouring comfort into his mind. It made Matt relax a little, but he still couldn't get the image of a retching Sam out of his head. That's a good thing. You know that, right? Matt didn't understand what his mate meant. You don't like to hurt others. There was something strangely close to relief in Pietr's mind that Matt didn't understand. Pietr tried to explain it to him. Warriors tend to get... absorbed in their task. Ruthless. That was the word Pietr didn't want to think. Yeah. I know you're not that way, but... Himiko: Warrior - 146

But Matt did have a temper and he was very stubborn. Those were Warrior traits. Your ability to do that is getting scary.

Huh? Matt hadn't known he was doing anything.

You hear things I haven't even thought yet. There was

a familiar mix of pride and exasperation in Pietr's mind. Hey, I can't help that I'm smarter than you. What the... Asshole! Pietr caught him in a tight grip, wrestling him down onto the bed. Matt fought back, but mostly for the fun of it. All he wanted was to be close to his mate after an exhausting day. Pietr stilled when he heard that thought. Then he pulled off first his own his shirt and then Matt's, pushing in close. His skin felt good against Matt's, and Matt wrapped around him. I love you. I know, Matt. His mate was open and caring and considerate, and Matt could feel the love pouring out of Pietr's mind. It finally made him feel somewhat settled. I hated seeing him like that. I've never hurt anyone before. Pietr was worried, but there was also a certain helplessness in his mind. Don't worry; I am going to do it. I promised Jerry. Matt showed Pietr his conversation with Jerry. He told you about Stor? Pietr was baffled. Yes. I guess he's not the type to talk about it? No. He never talks about it. But everybody knows. Why? Pietr peeled off the rest of his clothes and helped Matt do the same. Matt knew that it wasn't because Pietr wanted sex; he just wanted to be as close as possible. Matt could relate to that. It was the key moment of the war. The images in Pietr's mind were muddled, terror and desperation Himiko: Warrior - 147

prominent among them as he showed Matt what the war had been like. We had been fighting each other for so long that we had lost perspective. There had been fatalities before, but not intentional; they were accidents. Or as accidental as it can be when a Warrior faces another Warrior and does everything in his power to win. It wasn't until later that we started realizing how much the battles affected us long-term. A lot of us couldn't live with what we had done. Matt caught the memories of Himika going crazy with the realization that they had tried to hurt other Himika. It wasn't simply a matter of conscience; it was the very fundament of their existence that crumbled when they couldn't trust each other anymore. But that was later. During the fighting, nobody had been killed deliberately. Jerry was really strong, one of the candidates to be our leader. But he didn't want that, didn't even want to take part in the fighting if he could avoid it. But he couldn't. There were strong Himika who weren't Warriors, and they schemed and manipulated everybody else into taking sides and fighting for them. And it wasn't for some sort of cause; it was all politics. Sometimes, the sides changed so fast you got dizzy. Pietr took a deep breath. There was a major battle that day. The strongest contenders to take over were all there with their respective Warriors. Jerry was there, too, but only because he wanted to try talking some sense into the combatants. There was a deep bitterness in Pietr's mind as he remembered the events. He wasn't even fighting when it happened; he had no shields up whatsoever. And then someone went for his mate. There was such a sense of betrayal in Pietr's mind that Matt clung to him, tried to lessen Pietr's devastation at remembering that fatal day. Himiko: Warrior - 148

The Himiko killed Stor without even straining himself. Stor wasn't strong -- he was only there because his mate was and to help if anybody got hurt. Killing him was far easier than fighting Jerry in an open fight. Pietr was back in the middle of the fight, his mind so deep into his reminiscing that he probably didn't even notice Matt next to him anymore. Everything stopped when that Himiko lashed out at Stor. Matt saw through Pietr's eyes how the fighting came to an abrupt halt, everything standing still when the Himika realized what had happened. Then Jerry fell over, too, and Sam screamed at him. I still don't know how Sam did it, but he went so deep into Jerry's mind that he managed to get Jerry back. Sam kept him from dying for long enough for him to regain consciousness. I've never heard anyone scream like Jerry did when he woke up and found out that he was alone. Pietr shuddered, and Matt held him tight. But Sam wouldn't let him go, wouldn't let him die. I'm still not sure if it was the right thing to do. Matt was right beside Pietr in his memories, saw how devastated Jerry had been, an empty shell of sorrow. It was enough to make us stop. We had crossed the ultimate line, and if we didn't step back, it would mean the end of our entire civilization. Matt could feel it, could feel how the trust betrayed had made the very foundation of the Himiko civilization waver. It wasn't an individual thought, it wasn't even a rational knowledge; it was the certainty that if the Himika kept on fighting, they would lose the trust that bonded them together as a race and assured their very existence. Pietr had told Matt about this before, had told him that the mental communication was more than a pure means of communication. It wasn't until now that he really understood, though, that violating the rules of Himiko: Warrior - 149

coexistence would have the same effect on the Himiko society as that of all humans going psychotic: It would mean the collective loss of sanity. At least it made us end the war. Pietr took a deep breath, trying to tell the rest of the story. We realized that we couldn't go on like that, and so we stopped. What happened to the Himiko who killed Stor? Pietr shrugged. He went crazy when he realized what he had done. I still think it would have been better if there could have been a trial. Closure? A symbol that this would never be tolerated. What about me? Matt would have preferred not to ask, but it was impossible to hide anything from Pietr when they were as entwined in each other's minds as they were right now. What do you mean? Matt made an effort to collect his thoughts. I'm going to fight a Himiko; will I be tolerated after that? Yes. You will. Pietr rubbed Matt's back, deep in thoughts. And this is what makes you different from me - from most Himika, in fact. You know it has to be done, and you're going to do it, no matter how hard it's going to be. That's why Himika need Warriors; someone to do what the rest of us can't. You are a Warrior, Matt. Ruthless? Willing to do what it takes. It's a brave thing to do, Matt. I don't feel brave at all. Matt tried to push the image of fighting another living being out of his head. Good. It shouldn't be easy. Pietr pulled back and looked into his eyes. You're going to be okay, Matt. You're going to do it, and you won't lose yourself. I promise you. Himiko: Warrior - 150

Matt closed his eyes and pushed into a kiss, suddenly desperate to be as close as possible to his mate. I need you, Pietr. I need you so much. Shh. I know. I'm here. Matt sobbed into the kiss, frantic in his effort to have his mate closer. I need you in me. I'm going to fill you. Don't be scared. Matt clung to him, whimpering when Pietr leaned away from him to get the lube. Pietr was quickly back, rumbling reassuringly to him. It wasn't enough, though; nothing was enough. He arched when he got the first finger, taking a deep breath to relax enough that his mate would be satisfied and give him another. Pietr seemed to understand his need, opening him up with soft but unrelenting thrusts into his body. He got another finger, and another, and he was too deep in his need to even notice if it burned or not. Then Pietr was over him and in him. He wanted to shout as he was breached, but then Pietr was deep inside of him and everything went quiet, still. He closed his eyes and pulled his mate close. Pietr slowly moved in and out of his body, the long movements opening him up both physically and mentally. He surrendered, giving up all of his shields to let his mate into the deepest corners of his soul. Pietr answered him, taking what he gave and rejoicing in the gift. His mate's mind was entwined closely with his own; he couldn't tell where one ended and the other began, and it didn't matter. His body sang with the feeling of being possessed, and he laughed with joy when he felt his mate responding to his happiness, pushing deep inside of him. It went on and on, and Pietr kept the pace slow, prolonging their ecstasy until the world around them Himiko: Warrior - 151

disappeared and there was nothing but their pleasure. It was glorious, and Matt didn't want it to end. Pietr heard him, and his mate kept going until Matt was so high that he was dizzy with it, soaring on their perfect union. Their climax took him by surprise, and Matt was almost reluctant to give in to it. Then he surrendered, and it took him crashing over in a cascade of light and quiet. He knew that he had been gasping and sobbing and that his body was exhausted and sore. But when he came back to reality a long time later, everything in him was quiet and at peace. Thank you. He gently kissed Pietr. You're welcome. I love you. Matt didn't answer; he didn't have to.

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9 When they got up early the next morning, the kitchen was empty. So was the guest room where Sam and Jerry were supposed to have been sleeping. Matt got a cold flash of panic, the image of a prone Sam on the ground the day before going through his mind. Then the kitchen door opened, and Sam and Jerry came in, carrying sleeping bags. "Hey, you're up already. I'd have thought you would have needed more time to recuperate after yesterday's exercises." Sam was grinning, and Jerry had a wry smile on his face as well. "What do you mean?" Matt looked from one to the other. "Oh, nothing. Just that you were so loud that we had to escape. We could hear the two of you all the way to the meadow by the oak." "I... What?" "Aki and Robbie suddenly had to leave, by the way. I think they had something come up. A pressing need of some kind." Sam snickered. "You could hear us?" Matt's voice was kind of faint. "That would be the understatement of the year, but yes, we could hear you. You must have been a nightmare to be near when you were newly bonded." They had been a fucking live porn movie. Again. Matt turned to Pietr, looking accusingly at him. "Why didn't you say anything?" Pietr looked slightly embarrassed.

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"He would have been crazy to have stopped that. It was quite something. It even got Sam back to the world of the living." Jerry nodded. Guilt welled up in Matt. "God, are you okay, Sam?" First he had injured Sam, and then he had chased the Himiko out of his house. "Oh, he was more than okay. He gives great head." "Jerry!" Matt didn't know if he should laugh or cry. "Hey, it's the truth." Unperturbed, Jerry started to make breakfast. He seemed to be very hungry. So am I. I haven't worked out so much in months. "Pietr!" Matt groaned. His mate just laughed and hugged him from behind. Aki and Robbie showed up some time later, Aki looking a little sheepish. Robbie just looked very, very satisfied. They, too, were predictably very hungry, and Sam seized the opportunity to tease them mercilessly. In the end, Aki got up. "I think it's time for you to continue your training. Now." He looked to be at the end of his rope. "Yes, Aki." You almost couldn't hear the glee in Sam's voice. Matt wanted to talk to Jerry on the way to the oak, but Sam held him back. "Let him go." "I just want to talk to him," Matt protested while Jerry picked up some bags and went ahead. "He doesn't talk much. He was all raw from whatever the two of you discussed yesterday. It's good for him not to bundle it up, but now he needs his space. Don't push him." Matt nodded reluctantly. Sam did know Jerry better than anybody else. Then he cast a closer look at Sam. The man looked fully recovered, but Matt still felt he had to say something. "I'm really sorry about yesterday." Himiko: Warrior - 154

Sam interrupted him. "If you say that once more, I'm going to hit you over the head with a stick. And believe me, I'll find a way to do it that even your over-developed powers can't stop." Matt narrowed his eyes. "Yes, like that. Don't go all soft on me," Sam interrupted before he could say anything. Jesus, that Himiko was annoying. His thought must have shown on his face, because Sam grinned. "That's my boy." *** Matt didn't stay annoyed for long; he felt a surge of compassion go through him just looking at Jerry and knowing what the Himiko had been through. He couldn't imagine losing his mate, and when Sam ordered him to use the other Himiko as his sparring partner, Matt was as careful as he could be. He pushed gently, not wanting to strain Jerry after his trainer's rough day yesterday. He found himself lying on the ground, desperately trying to breathe. Jerry bent down over him. "That's what happens when you let your guard down. Get a grip, Matt." Jerry lifted him up like the Warrior had done yesterday, and Matt managed to force his lungs to work, taking one shuddering breath and then another. Jerry let go none too gently, and Matt just took a moment to breathe. When he was relatively sure he wasn't going to pass out, he sat up. "Come on, get going." Jerry kicked his thigh. Not that hard, but not that gently, either. Matt scowled at Jerry. "Suck it up, princess. You'll want to be able to defend yourself against much harder attacks than that." That took care of the compassion, and Matt got up. Himiko: Warrior - 155

Jerry kept attacking him, and Matt worked almost as hard to defend himself as he had done when he first learned how to shield. Defending himself physically should have been the same thing as defending himself mentally, but it felt completely different. Matt had gotten used to the intricacies of mental challenges, and this felt as rough as a football player in a game of bridge. That image actually helped him. He might have gotten accustomed to using his mind only, but he could do the rough stuff, too. As soon as he realized the difference, he adjusted his defenses to match. Jerry's next attack left him standing upright, and after the next, he tried pushing back. Jerry sat down on his ass with an "oomph." "You let your guard down?" Matt couldn't keep from baiting Jerry. Jerry scowled and jumped up, pushing Matt again. This attack was different, somehow twisting around and hitting him all over instead of being just a straightforward punch, but Matt didn't care. He just blocked it and pushed back at Jerry in the same move. This time, Jerry ended upside down in a patch of blackberry bushes. He swore profoundly when he got out, picking out thorns from his hands. "Suck it up, princess." For a moment, Jerry looked ready to smack Matt. Then Sam roared with laughter, and he backed down, mumbling something Matt was happy to overhear. That the Himiko was disgruntled wasn't exactly a secret; the resentment oozed off him. Sam called for a break, and he got Matt a soda while Jerry sat down on a nearby log, muttering to himself while removing the thorns. Matt was quite sure that Jerry made a show out of it; blackberry thorns weren't Himiko: Warrior - 156

that hard to remove. Jerry clearly was a lot more comfortable with being rough and rude than with being subjected to pity. Lesson learned, Matt told himself. "So," he tried to ignore Jerry's grouching, "do they teach Himika mentors to be annoying? Because the two of you suck almost as much as Aki." Sam's face was a study in disgust. "I'm nothing like Aki!" "Oh, you're very much like Aki. You said so yourself, yesterday. What was all that about?" Matt still didn't really understand why a Warrior was so different from other Himika -- and why Aki could be one and deny it at the same time. Jerry had stopped muttering, listening to the conversation. He raised his eyebrows at Matt's words. Sam exploded. "He's a fucking coward, that's what he is." He got up and stomped off. Matt stared after him. "That didn't go down well. Shouldn't you go after him?" "Shit, Matt, you're too fucking touchy-feely for someone as bad-tempered as you are." "I'm not touchy-feely!" Matt was outraged. He had been accused of a lot, but never, ever that. Just the opposite, in fact, and that was how he liked it. "He's just really angry and a little worried, and I don't think he should be alone like that." Jerry groaned. "Your mental powers are as overdeveloped as a bodybuilder's biceps, Matt. Just let him be, will you? He'll lose any trace of manly dignity if I go after him to hold his hand." Matt had to take a deep breath to keep himself in control. What was it with these guys and their pissing contests? "We're Warriors, Matt!" Himiko: Warrior - 157

Matt didn't realize he had said it out loud, but he must have; he was very, very careful to keep his mental shields up around both Sam and Jerry. "And that's another word for being obnoxious?" Jerry looked about to smack him again. Then he suddenly relaxed and grinned. "Yeah, I think it is." The imminent danger of getting punched in the face seemed to have diminished enough for Matt to sit back. He got Jerry a soda, and the Himiko accepted it. At least Jerry didn't hold a grudge. "So, tell me about Sam and Aki." He had begun to like these stories; it was like a mixture of a history lesson and really good gossip. "Not much to tell." Jerry shrugged. "The Himiko who killed Stor? Aki was close to him. They weren't exactly friends, but they were sort of on the same side, if there were any sides at all back then." "And that's why you don't like each other?" It was a loss less dramatic than Matt had expected. "No, we don't like each other because Aki realized what he could do that day and has spent every waking moment since then preaching about Warrior powers being evil. His own powers." "Uh, sorry to ruin your analysis, but wasn't that the only sane thing to do?" Somebody had died, after all. "That's like saying breathing is really dangerous because you risk hyperventilating. This is how we are!" Jerry jumped up, seeming too agitated to stay sitting. "You can't change your powers. If anything, things get worse if you repress them instead of learning how to control them. And you can't repress them. Just look at the way you almost killed yourself trying to learn how to move water." "I did not almost kill myself! I just got a little... tired." Himiko: Warrior - 158

"Yes, but that's only because you're too fucking stubborn to react like a normal Himiko would have reacted." Jerry took a deep breath before he continued. "Point is that Aki's been refusing to acknowledge that Warrior powers even exist. Sam doesn't like that. I don't care much for it, either." Matt didn't have a problem believing that. He just didn't have any time for intrigues and hurt feelings anymore. "I have a Himiko to put out of action; you'll have to get over it. Go get Sam and tell him to get his ass back here." Jerry didn't exactly look happy, but he did it, leaving Matt to think. Jesus, this was a mess. First the Himika, represented by Pietr and Robbie, had turned out to be friendly. Then the aliens turned out to be less so when the Assessor entered the equation. And now even the good guys hated each other. Jerry came back with a still scowling Sam, and Matt got up, arms crossed. "Is he really that bad?" Sam looked uncomprehendingly at him. "Aki! Do you really hate him that much?" "He was so fucking self-righteous after the battle, and he..." Matt interrupted him. "Not then, now. Do you really hate him now?" Sam looked a little surprised, as if the hatred had become second nature to him. "I... He's still annoying." "Yes. So are you. That doesn't make me hate you." Okay, a little, sometimes. But it was over when the lesson ended. "Why do you even care, by the way?"

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Matt raised his eyebrows. "Because I need to know that I can trust you. I can't have you bickering behind my back while I try to defeat the Assessor." Sam looked outraged, but it was Jerry who stepped forward. "We promise. He's annoying as hell, but we can think that and still be on the same side." Matt decided to ignore the rebellious expression on Sam's face. "Good. Now, let's continue." *** He trained the rest of the day and the next, and he slowly started to master the new techniques. Sam taught him how to control the physical attacks and then went to mental attacks. Those were both easier and harder. Easier, because it was a lot like his first training. And a lot harder, because he wasn't just controlling his own mind -- he actually had to attack someone else's mind. It was strange and more than a little unsettling to use his power against another living being. Hitting somebody physically was one thing, but when you struck someone mentally, you felt their shock and pain. It was disgusting. Matt had no idea how the Himiko warriors had been able to endure it. He practiced on Jerry; the Himiko had grumbled something about having so little brain left that it didn't matter if Matt wrecked the rest of it. Matt didn't, but he pushed and pulled and shoved enough to get a very good grasp of how to do that. Of how to hurt somebody, if he really wanted to. It was enough to give Jerry a throbbing headache, and at the end of each day, Matt insisted that Robbie use some Tylenol and a little of the doctor's healing powers on Matt's victim. Aki did hover a little bit while Robbie worked his magic, but Matt noticed that Sam kept his mouth shut Himiko: Warrior - 160

about it. It was quite admirable if you considered how much animosity had been between the two of them until recently. Or maybe Sam was just growing up. Sam growled, and Matt cursed. What was it with him and speaking out loud these days? He never did that. "What?" Aki looked enquiringly at him. Matt decided to jump right into it. "Sam has decided to be civil. He might not hate you as much as he thought he did, but he's not ready to admit that yet." Smooth, baby. Shut up, Pietr. Sam sputtered, and Aki looked slightly bewildered. "Okay?" Matt gestured at him. "Now it's your turn to say something heartfelt." Aki looked more ill at ease than ever. But he seemed to recognize Sam's effort. "I might not hate him, either?" The very audible question mark ruined the statement somewhat, but Matt didn't think this was the time to be fussy. "Great. Now shake hands and promise me you won't kill each other when I'm not looking." Jerry's mouth twitched slightly as he got up from where he lay on the couch. Next to him, Robbie was hiding his head, looking down at his bag. Even if Matt couldn't have felt how the doctor was laughing his ass off, he could still see Robbie's shoulders shake. To their credit, Aki, Pietr, Sam, and Jerry obediently shook each other's hands. It made it all seem a little like a playground in a kindergarten. That would make Matt the diplomatic kindergarten teacher, though. Pietr only barely managed to contain his snort at that thought. You're so not the diplomatic type, honey. Himiko: Warrior - 161

*** That night, Matt was exhausted. Not so much physically, even though his body was worn out, too. But the struggle to concentrate as intensely as he had to do in order to master the new skills was beginning to take its toll. Not to mention the fact that he was actually hurting someone he had started to care a great deal for. You're doing it for the right reasons, baby. Matt shrugged. He knew that, and it didn't help. Let's go for a walk. Matt was a little surprised; Pietr's absurd fear of North American wildlife still kept him inside most of the time. Matt let Pietr guide him, though, and his mate put an arm around his shoulder, steering him toward the oak. An image of the lake came to Pietr's mind. It was a quiet evening, the sun going down late this time of year. It wasn't as warm as it had been during the day, but it was still beautiful, a gentle wind going through the trees while they walked. Matt could feel how the tranquility of the surroundings slowly spread to him, enabling him to breathe a little easier than he had for a while. Pietr gently rubbed his shoulder. They were quiet as they left the wood behind them and stepped into the open next to the lake. In an hour or so, the place would be teeming with mosquitoes, but right now, it was as serene as Matt remembered it. Come on, let's sit down. Matt followed his mate and sat down in the grass. It reminded him of the last time they had been there, and he felt a little guilty when he remembered his mate's distress after Matt had shut him out. Matt hadn't thought about anything other than his own problems lately. Pietr actually laughed at him. Himiko: Warrior - 162

So, now you're beating yourself over the head with that? Really, Matt, isn't it enough that you have to save the world from an evil alien? Jesus. Yeah, when you put it that way... There really isn't any other option, right? I'm not just going to do this because it's easier than using a stun gun or something like that? You can't really use weapons against a strong Himiko. Why not? Matt had all kinds of images in his head of creating physical shields like the mental shields he already made. I guess somebody really strong might do that. But that isn't the main reason why it doesn't work. It's just really difficult to surprise a mind reader, and using a weapon demands preparation. Even drawing a gun would take long enough to reveal your intention, and he would defeat you. Matt felt a little stupid. Don't. The Assessor is stronger than anybody. I'm not even sure how much he can do. So he could just as well kill me the moment he sees me? Matt went cold with fear. No. I don't think that's likely. Only the firm conviction in Pietr's mind kept Matt from calling this whole thing off. He was a little surprised at being this affected by the thought of harming someone. He had a temper, and he had always thought of himself as a cold bastard. Luckily, you aren't. It doesn't seem that way. At least I don't have to kill him. Pietr hugged him. Nobody would ask that of you. That would be cruel. Himiko: Warrior - 163

And Pietr wasn't cruel. In spite of what Pietr had done, the Himiko wasn't evil. Does it make a difference? Pietr's inner voice was still filled with self-hatred. Yes. It does. It's the difference between harming the Assessor because I don't like him or disagree with him -and doing it because it's the right thing to do. The only thing to do. It might not be an easy choice, but it's the only possible thing to do. I'm going to change a lot of things when the Assessor's gone. Pietr was determined to make up for what he had done. I can't ask for any more. Come on, let's get back. *** The next morning, Sam took one look at Matt and said, "This isn't going to work. You're too tired." Matt protested, but Sam was adamant. "But we only have a few days left!" "Yes, and that's far too little time for you to recover if you overdo it. Take a break today." Matt felt rebellious, but there was nothing to do, and he went back to the cabin. Robbie was there, bent over the computer. "Did you find out any more about the demonstration?" Robbie looked up, rubbing his eyes. "Not really -- except that it's going to be big. I tried to find out if the Assessor's got any support apart from Sam and Jerry and our mates, but it doesn't seem like it. Nobody else is attending the meeting, at least." "That sounds like really dangerous research." Matt kept to speaking out loud. Sam had been right; he really was tired. Himiko: Warrior - 164

Robbie shrugged. "It would have been if I'd been sneaking around, poking at Himiko brains. But I used this." He turned the computer to Matt. Instead of some web page, the screen was filled with letters and numbers in different windows. "You're hacking them?" Matt felt his eyebrows go up; Robbie never stopped surprising him. Robbie blushed a little. "I'm not that good at it. And it is illegal." "But extremely handy." Robbie began to shut down the computer. "You need to eat, though; you look tired. Let me get you something." Matt sighed and resigned himself to taking the day off. Having both Robbie and Sam nagging him was too much, even for someone as mulish as he was. *** Lunch was good, and it was even better to sit down around the table with Pietr, Aki, and Robbie. When Matt looked out of the window, he could see Sam and Jerry out there. They seemed to be deep in conversation; Jerry was actually talking, which was rare. Sam was listening intently, and then he put an arm over the other Himika's shoulder. Jerry didn't do anything to pull away. "He'll be okay, Matt." Matt looked up in surprise; he had been caught up in watching his teachers. "He's been through a lot. If that didn't kill him, then neither will your practicing a little on him." Aki sounded very certain. And a lot less hostile toward the other Warrior than he had been before. Himiko: Warrior - 165

I think you'd make an excellent kindergarten teacher, Matt. Pietr's inner voice was as dry as ever, and Matt had to make an effort to hide his laugh. "Apart from that, I think Sam's going to start using all three of us tomorrow," Aki continued. That made Matt prick up his ears. "To practice on you?" Aki looked at him with consternation on his face. "No, Matt. To practice with us." "Oh. Sorry." It seemed his mentor didn't like the thought of being a guinea pig. "You have to learn how to use our combined power. Preferably without killing any more doors." They all automatically looked at the kitchen door that they hadn't had time to fix yet. I really need to get rid of the evidence when I do stuff like that. Pietr just laughed at him. "You don't exactly seem concerned about tomorrow?" Aki looked questioningly at him. "Should I be?" Robbie looked chidingly at his mate. "Of course you shouldn't." Aki shrugged. "I haven't got a clue. You're doing things nobody has done before. You've just seemed worried the last couple of days." "Yeah." "Because you don't know what to expect?" Aki looked at him. "No. Because I know what to expect. I'm going to attack somebody." Matt hadn't even thought about the Assessor much. It was the principle of hurting someone that bothered him.

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Surprisingly enough, it was Robbie who spoke. "You need to take a decision. Either you do it and go with it, or you refuse to do it." "I've already decided that I'll do it." Matt didn't like Robbie's words. "No, I don't think you have. You're still doubting your decision, and it's eating you up. It's time to make up your mind." Robbie's eyes were direct and challenging. Had it been anybody else saying this, Matt would have gotten angry and started arguing. But this was Robbie speaking, and when Robbie spoke, Matt listened. Also, the words reminded him a bit too much of Jerry's reprimand. "I need to suck it up?" "That sounds like our friend Sam, but yes," Robbie agreed. "Jerry, in fact." Matt huffed, a little lost for a better answer. "The guy actually said something?" Pietr was astounded. "The guy actually said something sensible?" There wasn't any real rancor in Aki's words, though. Matt heard a snort behind him. Jerry had come in. However, it was Sam who spoke. "Matt's already made up his mind. He just doesn't like what he's decided." Turning, Matt stared at Sam. Sam shrugged. "I know how it is. We both do." He nodded at Jerry. "So does Aki, by the way." Aki paled, but he didn't say anything. Matt wanted to get mad; that was how he usually dealt with unpleasant situations like this. But the anger wouldn't come, and he looked down. Himiko: Warrior - 167

"He's going to be fine." Jerry's voice was a little hoarse. Matt looked up in surprise, but Jerry just nodded at him. Then the Himiko grabbed a sandwich from the kitchen table and went back into the garden. He's right, you know. Pietr's presence in his mind was calm and encouraging. Exactly what Matt needed. "Okay." "Okay?" Robbie sounded a little bewildered. "Yes, I've probably already made up my mind. I've just been whining because I didn't like the decision." And you didn't like being a person who could make a decision like that. Sometimes, having a mate who was able to read your thoughts wasn't an advantage. Matt would have liked to hide that particular fact from himself for a while yet. Robbie nodded, not having heard Matt and Pietr's private conversation. "None of us blame you. We just want you to come to terms with it. It's the only way for you to succeed." It stung a little to hear those words, because Robbie was right. He had used so much energy complaining about his task, and that energy had been taken away from his training. He even had a hunch that he had been doing it as an excuse: if he at least felt bad about it, then he wasn't as horrible a person as his decision made him. That's kind of complicated, Matt. Pietr was a little bewildered. "Yeah, I know," Matt said, answering them both. Then he took a deep breath. "I'm going to do it, and I'm standing by my choice. I know why I'm doing it. If I fail miserably, then at least I did it because I tried to do the right thing." And it was the right thing; he felt it deep down. It was a colossal relief to finally be at peace with his task. Himiko: Warrior - 168

Sam nodded. "Sounds good to me. Tomorrow, we're going to practice with all three of you. You should use the rest of the day to rest. You've been driving yourself a little hard." Matt really felt like pointing out that he hadn't been driving himself hard; Sam had. As much as I hate to agree with him, I think he's right, baby. Matt turned to Pietr in surprise. You're demanding a lot of yourself, that's all. Now Matt was speechless again. He didn't think he demanded a lot of himself. He just had things that needed to be done. Yeah? Like setting up your own firm, and learning how to use every single skill you have, and now this? Matt, you're not exactly taking the easy way out. And I admire you for it. Pietr wasn't trying to please him with empty words. His mate meant it. The other Himika encouraging him had been nice -- and thought-provoking -- but this was what mattered most to Matt. His mate was his core, and it was such a relief to have his trust in Pietr back. I can do it. Matt surprised himself a little at that thought. But he really believed in it now. Yes. And with the three of us, you can do anything. Pietr rubbed his shoulder and then got up to help the others clean the kitchen. *** It was a certainty that followed Matt the next day. Pietr and Aki were both somewhat hesitant about what they were going to do, but Matt wasn't worried. He knew exactly what to do to make this work. Himiko: Warrior - 169

"So, how do you do that freak thing? You need to touch them, right?" Matt didn't take Sam's bait, just nodded and pulled Aki and Pietr in close. Then he reached out to split a fallen tree trunk. The old wood sort of exploded, showering them all with splinters and a considerable number of insects. "Would you stop that?" Aki sounded irritated as he brushed bits of tree trunk out of his hair. Sam looked a little overwhelmed. "Uh, yes. I guess that's about it. A little more control would probably be a good thing." Sam quickly found his old self, though, and began putting Matt through his paces. It was a bit difficult to control all of that power in the beginning, but Matt quickly caught on, and he moved things and split tree trunks and broke branches the rest of the morning. He didn't tire at all, and it felt incredible to be able to keep going and going, feeding on the power from his mate and his mentor. Please, no more! It was Aki's moan that finally stopped him. He looked at his mentor in surprise. It might seem easy to you, but you're doing things neither of us ever learned. We're getting a little dizzy, here. To Matt's astonishment, Pietr completely agreed with Aki. I need something to eat. And maybe some ReGen. Matt realized that his mate was right. You do look a little green around the gills. I... What? Pietr's hands went up to his neck, checking as if to see if there were any fish parts there. Okay, so perhaps Matt's mate really was tired. It's a saying! When will you start getting your idioms right? Himiko: Warrior - 170

Well, pardon me for not understanding the parts of our language that you've mauled. We haven't mauled anything. And what do you mean, "your language"? Well, why do you think English is such a common language on Earth? Uh, I don't know -- because the Brits were all over the place and brought their language with them? A language as inconsistent as English? No way. You picked it up from us, of course. What the fuck? No, we didn't! "Uh, guys?" Aki's voice was mildly confused. "Could you maybe argue on the way? Because we're really hungry." Matt looked up to see Aki, Sam, and Jerry watching them with equal parts amusement and resignation, and he blushed slightly. "Okay, let's go. I can beat Pietr's ass on the way." That's what you think. Now, about how the language transferred... Matt groaned out loud as he started walking toward the cabin. *** It was a little strange suddenly being the one with the strongest powers. Pietr and Aki didn't understand how he did most of the things he did, and even Sam reeled when Matt took a short cut and split a tree in four at one shot. Things turned tricky when he had to use the power against another being. Sam, without hesitation, forbade him to do anything physical; his trainer looked a little panicked at the mere thought. Himiko: Warrior - 171

Matt was far more reluctant to attack any of his friends mentally. "What if I do a tree trunk on one of you?" A collective shudder went through the Himika as they looked at the remains of the first tree trunk he had tried to split. Sam wouldn't back down, though. "You just have to keep from doing that. You have to learn how to control it. You can practice on me." That was either a very brave or a very stupid offer. Matt leaned strongly toward the latter. Then he got an idea. Pulling together all of his self-control and the power of the three of them, he carefully reached out for Sam's mind. Sam resisted, putting up a good fight. But instead of using force, Matt dodged Sam's defenses and slithered in where Sam's attention was lowest. Suddenly, he was in the middle of Sam's mind. It was astounding to be this intimate, especially since he had barely communicated mentally with Sam before. Sam was shocked and instantly wanted to fight Matt. However, Matt wouldn't let him. Instead, Matt let a layer of soothing thoughts simmer through his mind, forcing Sam to relax. Sam gave in surprisingly easily, and with that, all of his inner defenses went down. This was someone who had been through hell. Without a mate, Sam was always aware of the fact that he wasn't complete, and it haunted him. Then there were the memories of the war, and the deep pain from witnessing the death of Stor, his best friend and Jerry's mate. And Sam loved Jerry. Sam knew it was hopeless; not so much because Jerry didn't like him, but because Jerry couldn't love anybody Himiko: Warrior - 172

at all. Not yet, and perhaps not ever. But Sam had accepted the fact that he could at least be close to Jerry and help the other Himiko as much as possible. It was such a noble decision that Matt got tears in his eyes. Then he started when he realized what he had done. This was eavesdropping, but a lot worse. This was violating the most fundamental principles of privacy. Gingerly, taking great care not to hurt Sam, he pulled back. Sam stared helplessly at Matt. "What? Did it work?" Jerry sounded impatient. "Yeah. It worked," Sam answered, his voice tight. Then he fell to his knees. What happened? Both Pietr and Aki were shouting at him, but it was Jerry who went to Sam's side, gently helping him sit down. Robbie joined them, looking worried. "I couldn't feel what Matt was doing at all." Aki's voice sounded a little accusing. "It felt as if there was a limit at Sam's shields, and I couldn't see past that." Me neither. What happened? Pietr was less than happy at being shut out, but it was such a relief that the other Himika hadn't seen what Matt had seen. "I was just a little too rough," Matt said. Sam looked up at him. Matt nodded almost imperceptibly. He would keep Sam's secrets. Sam nodded back, and there was a deep gratitude in his eyes. "But you're okay?" Aki had broken their mental connection as soon as Sam fell, and now he was looking at the kneeling Himiko, real worry in his eyes. Sam nodded, and Robbie did the same. "He'll be fine. We're just playing with hardcore stuff here." Himiko: Warrior - 173

You might say so. Matt took a deep breath. "The good news is that I think I got it. I know how to use it now." Thank god. Because that was just a little creepy. Their connection hadn't been broken, so Pietr wasn't in any kind of distress. He just hadn't been able to track Matt like he usually did, and that bothered him. Yeah, a little. And I can't even say I won't do it again. I know, Matt. It's okay. Matt couldn't count how many times he had heard those words over the last few days. Perhaps he should start believing them. It would save us a lot of work, honey. The smack that followed was inevitable. Really, Pietr should have learned his lesson by now. *** "How did the Warriors practice? I mean those who used their abilities for real?" It was early afternoon, and they were at the meadow again, ready to begin another training session. "We didn't practice!" Sam sounded outraged. "Yes, they did." Aki's voice was quiet. Matt remembered Jerry's words about Aki being close to Stor's murderer. Sam turned to Aki, a shocked expression on his face. Aki looked away. "They played with other Himika. I don't think they ever did it with the intention of killing someone, but they were definitely bullies." And Aki had been so close to becoming one of them. Matt could sense his mentor's revulsion at that thought. "Okay, so that's not an option." What the fuck was he doing now? Himiko: Warrior - 174

"I think it actually might be." Aki sounded a bit surer of himself now. "You leave us behind anyway when you do it, so you don't really need to use the combined power of the three of us to practice. It was really easy keeping up the connection." Matt nodded. He hadn't even had to think about that. "Then we just spar. Like we did when I taught you how to shield. You try to break my shields, and I try to defend myself. Just don't fry my brain." After what had happened to Sam -- and to the tree trunk -- Aki had to be very, very brave to suggest this. Matt really appreciated it. He still did his very best to kick his mentor's ass. Aki reeled back when he felt Matt's attack. "Jesus, Matt! What have you been doing since I trained you?" Matt thought about apologizing. Then he remembered: sucking it up. He attacked again, and this time he almost got through an opening in Aki's defenses before he gave his mentor a break. Aki bent over, gasping, while supporting his hands on his knees. Robbie was watching him with raised eyebrows, and Aki looked questioningly at his mate when he got back up. "What?" "Oh, nothing. You did ask for this," Robbie answered. Matt grinned and attacked again. *** Matt had been practicing all of the last three days, Sam and Jerry pushing him as much as they could without exhausting him. It wasn't as hard as it used to be; Aki and Pietr had almost unlimited power when they Himiko: Warrior - 175

united with him in their strange trinity of energy, and they stopped getting queasy after a while. Even when he practiced mental attacks on his own, he did all right. He was fed and ordered to drink and to sleep at regular intervals. If the reason for his friends' babysitting hadn't been looming over him, Matt would have lost his temper a long time ago. As it was, he worked harder than he could remember ever doing before -- and he had worked his ass off after bonding with Pietr. "We better stop now. You have a good grasp of it, and we don't want to tire you out too much before tomorrow," Sam finally said the evening before the demonstration. Sam looked grim, but he wasn't overly pessimistic. Matt knew that this was another of those things he wasn't supposed to know without Sam telling him so, but it was still nice to know that the Himiko wasn't sending them all on a suicide mission. "Aren't you forgetting one thing?" Aki looked skeptical. "How are we going to explain that we're bringing a human to the meeting?" Sam opened his mouth to answer. Then he shut it again. Pietr saved the Warrior, though. "That's easy. I can just say that he's having a bad day. Everybody knows that he's been injured, and, well," he looked a bit sheepish, "I've sort of kept his power hidden to everybody." Sam looked at him in surprise. Pietr shrugged. "I didn't want them to assign him to something he didn't want to do." Like he had been himself. Matt hugged his mate, unconcerned about the other Himika in the room. Thank you, baby. After this, we're... Himiko: Warrior - 176

"Going on vacation" sounded a bit lame when they were about to save the world from an evil mastermind. But there was so much they were still learning about each other. Pietr understood, though. There was gratitude and a quiet, undemanding love in his mate's mind, and Matt let himself absorb it. Then he pulled back. "I'm ready to go now."

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10 It proved very easy to get Matt into the room where the meeting was being held in Washington, DC. The meeting room was near the Mall, enhancing Matt's suspicion about the purpose of the meeting. They saw a glimpse of the demonstration on their way; it looked like there were tens of thousands of people there, and it was still another hour and a half until the demonstration was supposed to begin. Pietr wrapped an arm around Matt's shoulder as they neared the building. It was a part of his disguise as injured human, but it felt really good. He let his mate know it, know exactly how grateful Matt felt to have met the Himiko. In spite of everything and no matter what happened to them today. Pietr leaned in and kissed him. I love you, okay? And I'll be here for you every step of the way. Even if he messed up. Even if things went horribly wrong. More than all of their exercises back at the cabin, this made Matt feel calm. He would do what he could. The guard in the foyer gave Matt an unusually sour look. Pietr did his thing where he grew right before Matt's eyes. I have a meeting with the Assessor. This is my mate. Let us through. After that, there were no problems whatsoever. Matt clung to Pietr, letting his steps go a little unsure and looking down as if his eyes were too sensitive to the light. He had his shields built up as solidly as he could. But he kept a fake layer on top on them, a disguise if anybody dared defy Pietr and impose on Matt's mind. Himiko: Warrior - 178

The Assessor did, as soon as they stepped into the Himiko's office. Matt had been prepared, although he couldn't bring himself to believe that any Himiko really would do that, even this one. But the Assessor did, without doing much to conceal the rough search of Matt's mind. Matt whimpered and swayed. He didn't have to fake his discomfort, but he added a sense of bewilderment at the confrontation with such overwhelming power. Unfortunately, it wasn't an exaggeration; the Assessor's energy felt different from anything Matt had ever encountered. Their very rudimentary plan suddenly seemed deeply insufficient, and a single week of practice was laughable in the face of this solid, impenetrable wall of immense power. I thought so. The Assessor's inner voice was strangely impersonal. Matt didn't do anything to hide his relief when the Himiko withdrew without finding the barriers protecting the real him under the weak human disguise. He was channeling your power when we met last. Pietr shrugged. It's what you would expect. He is human, after all. There was an almost invisible grimace on the Assessor's face. He most certainly is. Why did you bring him? And Robbie? He looked reproachfully at Aki, too. He can't seem to recover from the attack. He had another migraine yesterday, probably because I was away from him for too long. And his migraines are my migraines, so I need to keep both him and his doctor close. Matt took that as his cue to sway and reach out for Aki to support himself, resulting in the two Himika helping him to the couch in front of the Assessor's low table. He sat in the middle, with Aki and Pietr on either Himiko: Warrior - 179

side and Robbie, Sam, and Jerry in the chairs to their left. So far, so good. The Assessor expertly kept all of their conversation silent. Matt had to admire his skill; it seemed like no effort at all for him to control both his own message as well as the other participants' contributions. It was brutal, too. Jerry gasped as the Assessor yanked Matt's teacher none too gently into the conversation. The Assessor didn't notice the other Himiko's discomfort, or maybe he just didn't care. The way the Assessor seemed to create a barrier between himself and others, even as he was communicating, was almost sinister; it was like talking to a machine. Matt leaned on Pietr, letting his outer layer of thoughts stray and bump clumsily against both Aki's and Pietr's minds to conceal what he was about to do. Only when they were deep in conversation with the Assessor did he dare so much as brush by the dictator's mind. Nothing. The surface of the Assessor's mind was so strong and so impenetrable that it was almost reflective. Only at the very last moment did Matt manage to control his attempt to find out more; if he wasn't very, very careful, his investigative probe would bounce off the impossibly smooth surface and be redirected at God knows what, revealing him immediately. But that's illegal! Matt had been too occupied with his work to pay attention to the conversation. Now he heard Jerry's outburst. I didn't think that would be a problem for you. Of all people. There was a slight derision in the Assessor's words. Hey, I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a cell somewhere. I'd fucking love to beat those short-ears to a Himiko: Warrior - 180

pulp, but not if that's the price to pay. Jerry sounded harsh. I can assure you that you won't be punished for this. Quite the opposite. I have given this a lot of thought, and I believe it's time to change the rules a bit. We are off-planet, after all. I'm not so sure the rules should be changed. They are rules. Matt had to admire the way Aki carried himself. You'd never think that it was Matt's friend and Robbie's mate behind his cold and proper exterior. He really sounded like he cared about the rules more than anything else. The Assessor nodded, smiling encouragingly. Oh, I quite agree with you; it's not something that should be done lightly. Only, we have a real problem on our hands. He made a dismissive gesture. Nothing we can't handle, of course, but... bothersome all the same. The Assessor kept on describing the crowd gathering at the Mall, only a few blocks away. Matt's attention almost wavered when he heard that; they had so little time. Then he went back to the task before him, doubling his attempts to find a way into the Assessor's mind. It was completely fruitless, and Matt got more and more desperate until he got just a bit too clumsy. The Assessor clearly felt him, and immediately turned to look at Matt. Matt didn't have to fake his whimper; from what little he had learned about the Assessor, he knew that his blunder was enough to end his life right here and now. He squeezed his eyes shut, faking dizziness, and leaning into Pietr. "What happened? Matt?" Pietr shook him, none too gently. He gets so sensitive now and then. You never know where you have him. There was nothing but cold Himiko: Warrior - 181

annoyance in his mate's mind, and the icy condescension was enough to make Matt whimper for real this time. Well, keep him in line. Otherwise we'll have to experiment with the alternative chip. Matt cringed as he got a slight echo of associations along with the Assessor's words: humans as mindless slaves without any will of their own. Perfect humans, in other words. With a start, he realized that he really could read the Assessor; however, the images were almost imperceptible because of the Himiko's protection. Matt had to trust his instincts and accept the elusiveness of the images instead of striving for the clear pictures he usually got. He relaxed and tried to sneak close, trying to catch the echoes of the Assessor's thoughts like he had done unintentionally with Aki, Sam, and Jerry the last couple of days. Careful to disguise his presence, he tried to see what he could get out of that. The result was terrifying. The Assessor was evil. There wasn't any other way to explain it. The Assessor's mind seethed with malevolence, and it was so disgusting that Matt almost got sick. The Assessor was also very different from any Himiko Matt had encountered; his mind didn't reach out in an attempt to create that kind of understanding that seemed to be the distinctive trait of normal Himika. The common connection that, according to Aki and Pietr, kept Himika sane. Instead, the Assessor held back, watching for opportunities to manipulate his surroundings until he got what he wanted. He was power crazed to a degree that bordered on insanity. Suddenly, Matt didn't have the slightest problem with the task ahead. Himiko: Warrior - 182

Matt only gradually came back to the conversation around him. So, you want us to... crop their numbers? Or just incapacitate the humans? It was Sam's voice. Matt held his breath; the answer would confirm if they really were going through with this. He still wasn't going to do anything potentially harmful to the Assessor if the Himiko only wished to uphold law and order. I want to make sure that we don't see a manifestation like this again. That means destroying enough humans to teach the rest a lesson. Free rein? Jerry grinned, sounding so bloodthirsty that Matt felt sick. You can kill as many as you like. For the first time, the Assessor smiled. As a matter of fact, I think I'll make that an order. The words were there, spoken between them. Deep under his shields, Matt could feel Pietr pulling all of his energy together. Matt casually let his left hand wander toward Aki. It was going to have to be soon, whether or not Matt had found an opening. Sam saw Matt's hand hovering over Aki's and nodded almost imperceptibly. Then he stood up. Let's get to it. I can't wait to use my skills for real. The Assessor got up, too, a little taken aback with Sam taking the initiative. Matt took the opportunity, grabbed Pietr's and Aki's hands, and stood up, too. He felt the energy going through him and attacked with the power of all three of them combined. The Assessor took a step back as Matt let all their power fly against him. It was only a fraction of a second, though. Then he hit back, and Matt screamed. The Himiko's power was overwhelming, all the more so because he was completely uncaring whether he hurt anybody or not. As a matter of fact, harm was his goal. Matt had no idea how they were going to defeat Himiko: Warrior - 183

someone like this. How Matt was going to defeat someone like this. Matt still tried, though, out of sheer desperation, pulling on the power of the two Himika united with him and lashing out again. The Assessor brushed off the attack almost casually and hit back once again. Matt could hear an awful, shrill sound in the room, and he was faintly aware that it was coming from himself. This wasn't a fight at all. Matt pulled up his shields tightly around them, building them as high as he could, and just tried to survive. He briefly felt Jerry trying to help; then the Himiko was thrown against the wall, and Jerry fell to the ground, lifeless. The pain from the merciless attack was excruciating by now, and Matt could feel Aki's power starting to falter. His mentor's rigidity was no match for this whirlwind of mindless, evil power. The inflexibility that worked so well for the Assessor in building a hard shell didn't give Aki the power he needed, and his energy crumpled, forcing Matt to support him doubly now his own force was gone. The Assessor gave a triumphant roar, and Matt felt the Himiko collect all of the immense strength behind that impossibly inflexible surface again, this time to finish them off. Matt closed his eyes and fumbled along the Assessor's walls in one last desperate attempt to find a weakness. There were none, only unbreakable walls that reflected any feeble attack Matt made. Reflection. In the endless moment before the final attack, Matt pulled up their shield again, as strong as before, but this time mimicking the reflectivity of the Assessor's impenetrable shield. When the final attack came, it rattled Matt to the core, and Pietr swayed next to him. Matt desperately tried to keep his shield up, but he could Himiko: Warrior - 184

feel the cracks developing. It was only a matter of seconds now. Bend, don't break. Aki's words were almost too weak to hear. Triumph shot through Matt when he understood what Aki was trying to tell him. In a movement that made Pietr cry out in fear, he yielded to the Assessor's force, letting his shield retreat so much that it almost touched the core of their beings. The movement allowed his shield to heal, and he concentrated on reshaping it, creating a rubber-like texture. Matt felt the split-second of bewilderment from the Assessor when his force hit the foreign surface. Then Matt's shield sent all of his enormous power right back at him, and Matt felt a blinding explosion of power and rage when the Assessor's shield shattered under his own force. Matt cried out when the razor-sharp shards of energy and anger hit his shield, but he held on, desperate to protect his mate and his mentor. He poured his very last power into his shield, and then he felt the immense pressure from the attack disappear as suddenly as it had begun. Matt opened his eyes, the sudden quiet in the room ringing in his ears. Are you okay? Pietr? His first instinct was to reach out for his mate. I'll live. Fuck, that was scary. Pietr was shaken, and Matt had drained too much of his energy for him to be entirely steady on his legs, but he would be fine. He leaned on the wall as Matt took in the rest of the damage. He almost didn't see the Assessor at first. Then he found the Himiko lying on the floor, eyes open but Himiko: Warrior - 185

staring into empty space. Matt cautiously reached out mentally. There was nothing there. "Is he dead?" Matt's voice sounded odd, and he looked around the room. Sam was bent over Jerry, who was lying in a heap by the wall. Next to Matt, Aki's legs gave out and he tumbled to the couch. His mind was a blur of fatigue. Robbie was there immediately, bending over his mate and taking Aki's face between his hands. Aki stirred, and Robbie kissed his mate lightly. Then he got up and turned to the Assessor. It didn't take long. "He's dead. No question about it." "And Jerry?" Sam looked up as he heard Matt's voice, face looking drawn. "I... I don't know." Robbie went to check on Jerry. "He's hurt. It may take some time before he wakes up." Robbie sat in silence, and Matt felt him give Jerry as much of his healing power as he could spare. "But he will wake up." Sam's face was a study in relief when the Warrior heard that, and Matt remembered the raw feeling in Sam's mind, his unrequited love for the other Himiko at the very core of his existence. Matt felt a wave of relief that Sam hadn't lost what mattered most to him. Then Robbie stood up, a little unsteady, and went back to his mate, curling up with Aki. "I killed him." Matt's words sounded odd in the silent room. Nobody looked up. He killed himself, Matt. You just defended yourself and your mate. Are you all right? Matt looked at his mate. Pietr was still leaning heavily against the wall. Matt slowly nodded. Yeah. I am, actually. It couldn't be any other way.

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He was going to say something more when the door opened and Himiko guards rushed into the room. They stopped dead, taking in the scene. "The power has changed." Pietr pushed himself off the wall. He was so tired, but he still stood up straight, growing in stature before Matt's eyes. "The Assessor once was the leader; he is no more. Now I am the leader of the Himika on this planet." There was something almost ritual about his words, and the guards clearly recognized them. Matt could feel them hesitantly reach out, determining if Pietr's words were true, if he really had the power necessary to speak those words. Matt poured the last remains of their joint energy into Pietr's mind, fortifying Pietr enough that he could defend the claim even now that he was almost empty of power. It was enough for the guards. There weren't any protests, just a simple acceptance of the change of power. "The power has changed." The leader of the guards nodded. "The power has changed." It was Sam, looking up from his friend. "The power has changed." Aki looked dead tired, but he managed to say those important words. "Take his body away. And get a doctor here, quickly, to help Jerry." The leader of the guards nodded to Pietr before he turned to give orders. The room was a bustle of activity during the next hour. Pietr sat on the couch, Matt as close to his mate as he could get. The guards looked, but they seemed to accept that their new leader had a human mate.

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Matt had trouble staying awake until someone brought them some ReGen. The fluid felt so good that he almost got tears in his eyes. You were tired. Pietr's words were quiet, and Matt turned to look at his mate. The ReGen had removed some of the exhaustion from Pietr's face. He still looked tired, but there was something new about his posture. With a shock, Matt realized that Pietr had been holding back, hiding how powerful he really was except in those few instances when Matt had caught a glimpse. Those had been only fragments of what he displayed now, though, even in his weakened state. It was necessary. I was strong enough to be dangerous to the Assessor, but not strong enough to beat him. That was a life-threatening combination. Matt nodded and pushed close. He knew all about necessary decisions. You did well. I know. I... know. And I don't regret it. Still, I killed another living being. You shouldn't take that lightly. No, you shouldn't. You've also saved a lot of lives today, though. Human and Himiko. Matt just nodded. He didn't really know how to relate to his actions yet. He had a thought. What are you going to do about the demonstration, by the way? I'm going to let them be. They have a right to assemble. It could go wrong. Matt had seen that before, and with far less important issues than this. It could. I'm keeping the Himika as far away from them as possible and letting the human police forces handle any trouble. Then, tomorrow, we're going to hold Himiko: Warrior - 188

a press conference to tell everybody that things are going to change. Is it that easy? Pietr laughed and pulled him closer. This is as far from easy as it gets. But we have to figure it out, and at least now the Himika can meet the humans with genuinely good intentions. That has to count for something. It won't be easy, though; too many mistakes already made for that. You can make it. Matt's words were quiet, but he let his confidence in his mate flow into Pietr's mind. Yes. With you, I can. There was no doubt in Pietr's words, or in his mind, and Matt sat back, enjoying the feeling of being loved and trusted. Sometimes, mates weren't all that bad.

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Epilogue Matt was pacing. He had tried sitting, looking out of the window, and watching TV, but now he was back to pacing again. I can't believe I'm doing this. You're so going to pay me back for this. Pietr didn't do anything to stop the pacing. He had already tried that -- twice -- and now he just patiently watched Matt freak out. You're going to be fine. Don't worry. Do I look like I'm not worrying? Matt would have stopped to glare, but the pacing kept his nerves down to a tolerable level. Not exactly, no. Matt didn't have a clue how his mate could take things this lightly. Pietr had worked all day yesterday, setting up meetings and gaining control over the Himiko society. Matt had stayed with him, but he'd had to nap a lot and go to bed early in the apartment they had borrowed; he had used almost all of his power fighting the Assessor and then given the remains of it to Pietr. Aki had been out like a light, too, and Robbie didn't fare much better after healing Jerry. The wounded Himiko had woken up this morning, to Matt's relief and Sam's wholehearted joy. That was why Matt hadn't registered that Pietr had a meeting this morning. He didn't worry when he woke up alone; he'd needed his sleep, and when he came out of the shower, he could feel that Pietr was only a few Himiko: Warrior - 190

minutes away. He had kissed his mate thoroughly when Pietr came back just as Matt had dried off. Busy morning? Pietr kissed him back just as thoroughly. Not too bad; I had a meeting with your leader. Things are looking up. Matt was caught up in deciding whether he should try to seduce his mate before or after breakfast. God, you must be hungry if you're even thinking about that! Pietr was laughing at him. Matt tried to give his mate a dignified answer, but his growling stomach ruined that. I'm starving. Let's get you something to eat, then. Matt was busy choosing between eggs and toast -- he wanted eggs, but toast was so much faster -- when he absentmindedly remembered Pietr's words from before. Who did you meet with again? The mayor? Uh, no? Your leader. I told you that. Matt looked up, a piece of bread in one hand and a slice of ham in the other. You had a meeting with the President? This morning? Yes? Pietr didn't seem to find anything odd about that. You do remember what happened yesterday, don't you? Part of my job is to find a way out of the mess we've created. We had a good talk about that. You talked to the President? Matt had a hard time getting over that. Yes, Matt. We're doing a speech together tomorrow. Today, it'll only be us, though. You're doing a speech tog... What do you mean, only us? Matt had developed a sound instinct for when he was supposed to get suspicious. Side effect of interacting with aliens. Pietr looked straight at him. I want you there. I want people to see that you're okay and that there are humans who talk to Himika. Himiko: Warrior - 191

Hence Matt's present pacing in the improvised green room of the hotel and his attempt at not peeing his pants at the thought of the horde of reporters waiting for them in the hall on the other side of the door. His mate blinked, Pietr's mind doing a double take. It's a saying, stupid! I've told you that a million times by now! Pietr stepped into Matt's path, catching him the next time he turned to pace back. You ARE going to be fine. We'll go out there, you'll tell everybody that you're all right, I'll apologize for what has been going on until now, and then I'll tell them what's going to happen in the future. That's all. We can do it. Matt let himself be held for a moment, leaning on his mate and taking in Pietr's quiet confidence. Then he stepped back, taking a big breath. "World peace and all that, huh?" He looked at Pietr. "World peace, baby." Pietr smiled. Matt took another deep breath and nodded. He turned around and faced the entrance to the hall where the bright lights of the TV cameras waited. Then he stepped through the door with his mate. End

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