Wounded Cowboy

A Total-E-Bound Publication

www.total-e-bound.com Wounded Cowboy ISBN #978-0-85715-715-7 ©Copyright Jan Irving 2011 Cover Art by April Martinez ©Copyright October 2011 Edited by S. F. Swift Total-E-Bound Publishing This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher, Total-E-Bound Publishing. Applications should be addressed in the first instance, in writing, to Total-E-Bound Publishing. Unauthorised or restricted acts in relation to this publication may result in civil proceedings and/or criminal prosecution. The author and illustrator have asserted their respective rights under the Copyright Designs and Patents Acts 1988 (as amended) to be identified as the author of this book and illustrator of the artwork. Published in 2011 by Total-E-Bound Publishing, Think Tank, Ruston Way, Lincoln, LN6 7FL, United Kingdom.

Warning: This book contains sexually explicit content which is only suitable for mature readers. This story has been given a heat rating of Total-e-melting and a sexometer of 2.

Uncommon Cowboys

WOUNDED COWBOY Jan Irving

Dedication To J.C. Owens

Trademarks Acknowledgement The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmark mentioned in this work of fiction: BlackBerry: Research In Motion Ltd.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

5

Chapter One

Luka was dying. Pain radiated from his back. Slow tears trickled down his face and dropped into the patches of snow underneath him. At least he was alone here. Sometimes when the nightmares came, more and more often, he thought he was back with them. Whimpering, he curled into the foetal position. The wound on his back pulled and oozed more blood. He hugged himself like he had done so many nights. He needed someone. He should be hungry. He hadn't been strong enough to hunt for some time. But his belly was sunken, just another tight pain like the rest of him. He groped for his knapsack, the only thing he’d been able to salvage when he’d abandoned the old blue truck. He had to sit up to squint at his journal in the harsh light, flipping through pages, his fingers cramped and swollen. As much as he needed to express himself, he didn’t think he could manage it anymore. Pages and pages of drawings, all of him, Luka’s dream man, his healer. He’d started dreaming about his healer when he'd been a captive. He remembered the first time he’d tried to draw him his fingers had been crusted with his own blood, but when he managed a part of the man’s face, scratched into a cedar wall, he’d forgotten his swollen lip, his broken ribs. He’d stared at the man in the light of the single candle he saved for special occasions, feeling something… He wasn’t sure what it was, but it wasn’t pain, though it made his chest ache. Now looking at that face he could lie down again, feeling familiar peace. He only had a pencil, so he couldn’t fill in colours, but Luka knew his vision had grey eyes with squint lines at the corners and had rugged features, bronzed by the elements. His hair was brown and shaggy with threads of white at the temples. He had big hands, gentle hands, healing hands. Sometimes when Luka was really sore, when just turning over made him whimper from pain, Luka would picture those caring hands on him.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

6

He'd never experience that. The late April snows had taken him by surprise, and he had no camping gear, not after the way he’d escaped. When he'd been hungry, he'd roamed as the wolf, finding game. More and more he'd spent time as the wolf but a bullet wound from a hunter’s rifle had creased his back and the pain had fractured his ability to change. Now he lay naked and shivering under the canopy of a pine tree, its boughs weighed heavy by the last snow of winter. The wind cut under the branches, ice pellets striking his exposed flesh. Dempsy had told Luka over and over again he was barely worth keeping alive. He knew he had only one use. He squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered what that was. Dempsy’s rough hands on him, his breath hot against the back of Luka’s neck as he— No. He was going to die out here, he knew that, but he was going to die a free wolf. He wouldn’t think of the pit anymore, of watching his father and brothers and cousins go down. It wasn’t so bad anymore. He was getting warmer, as if something kind had touched him when he surrendered. He didn’t have to fight anymore, or hide, or be afraid.

**** Charlie Danvers shook his snowshoe, trying to free some of the ice that encrusted it so he could continue his solitary tramp through the still, crystalline forest. Here nothing was between him and his maker, as his pa used to say. He smiled. He missed the old man though he’d been gone since Charlie was twenty, fifteen years ago. Now he had no one to share the work with, the small triumphs, the crushing sadness when he failed to save one of his rescue animals. His grandfather had founded a small nature reserve on Danvers Peak way back when most people didn’t think this land was good for anything but cattle and logging. Charlie strove to protect the slice of pristine wilderness. It was lonely work. When the sole cowboy working his land had passed away from a heart attack two years ago, Charlie had been left badly short-handed. Since then he’d made do with the help of volunteers. He knew he had to hire someone on, but the work required a special affinity for the wild. He sucked in a breath that felt like cold fire deep in his chest. Directly ahead of him was a foot, sticking out from underneath the shelter of a pine. What the hell?

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

7

His heart jumped and he crawled under the branches as quickly as he could. He found a man lying half-covered with snow, naked, his arms, chest and legs exposed to the brutal elements. Charlie ripped off his glove and put his fingertips against the stranger’s neck. At first he only felt cold damp flesh. The man’s eyes snapped open. Dark green. Jungle green. Feral and wild. Charlie caught his breath, an icy trickle working down his back. “You found me!” The stranger’s lips cracked and bled as a beautiful smile illuminated his face, like a warm candle in the midst of the frozen land. Charlie knelt, suspended in the moment, heart again thumping in his ears. The man’s eyes shut and his breath whispered out of his chest as though it was his last. “No. No!” Charlie yanked off his thermal coat, pulling the young man up and wrapping it around him. On his back a long wound oozed blood and pus. Shit, it looked like a bullet wound. Someone had shot this man! Charlie stared at his face… He was a stunning man, but one side of his face was marred by thick scarring, the flesh looking melted as if it had been burned. The mark was as big as Charlie’s fist. “Jesus, fella,” Charlie growled. What the hell had happened to him? Charlie didn’t waste any more time speculating because there was no time to waste. He managed to drag the stranger by the feet from under the tree, then hefted him into a fireman’s carry. Only the fact the man was so thin made it possible for Charlie to huff his way back in the direction of his snowmobile. Halfway there he fell, snow getting under the collar of his sweater. Charlie shuddered as it melted against his skin. The man didn’t react and Charlie was too scared to see if he could find a pulse. Limp in Charlie’s arms, he wasn’t looking good. “Don’t you give up,” he said. “I got you now, so don’t you give up.” Eyelashes flickered in the lean face but he didn't see any other sign his words had registered. The startling green eyes didn’t open again. Desperate, Charlie yanked off his snowshoes, the boots underneath and stripped off his waterproof pants and jerked them onto the stranger. Body heat left him and he became clumsy, sluggish. But he couldn't waste time. He dragged the stranger the rest of the way to his snowmobile, then strapped him onto the back, grunting from the dead weight.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

8

“Hold on,” he said, starting up the engine. He went over the topography of this part of his land in his head, quickly deciding to risk the lake if the ice was thick enough. It would cut the time necessary to get to his cabin. He picked up speed, passing the skirts of trees and breaking through powder bare of anything but animal tracks here and there. Shivering constantly, Charlie had to get to the cabin as much as the stranger. This late storm had been a bad one, bringing a wet cold that sank into his bones and made them ache. At the lake, he settled for skirting by the frozen beach, not wanting to risk the heavy machine and double weight on spring-fragile ice. Beyond the trees he looked over the water and could see his log cabin. His grandfather had built it, using the forest's wood and beach rocks gathered from the lake's shore in the large chimney. Charlie skidded to a stop at the chipped wooden front stairs. He unstrapped the young man and slung him over his shoulder again while he climbed carefully. He shouldered open the door and once inside, kicked it shut. He tramped through the great room towards the couches near the big hearth. A small fire still crackled. He eased the stranger on to one of the couches, then reached for kindling and a log to build up the fire. His hands were shaking so hard he burned one, swearing under his breath. From behind him, he caught a slight sound and looked to see the stranger watching him with sleepy eyes. Good, that was good. He had to get warm. If he fell asleep, he might be in real trouble and Charlie’s place was too remote for a quick rescue. He turned up the heat in the cabin, something he didn’t usually bother with since the fire was pretty efficient. He stripped off his damp sweater and T-shirt before kneeling in front of the man. “Can you understand me, buddy?” he asked. The guy had sounded a bit odd back on the mountainside. Perhaps the cold or the wound on his back had affected him. The man nodded, his eyes solemn on Charlie’s face. “You need to get that borrowed clothing off. I’m going to run a bath for you in the loft, try to get you warmed up.” He paused. “Uh, what’s your name?” “L-Luk-ka.” The voice was like a feather floating down to the floor from a down comforter, a small voice, an uncertain voice. Charlie felt his own throat tighten in response.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

9

This young man seemed afraid of his own shadow and yet Charlie couldn’t forget the feral look in his eyes when he’d first seen him. “Luka.” He waited but nothing else was offered so he shrugged. Okay. Some people came to these mountains to lose themselves, to lose their pasts. He could understand that and give a man room. “I’m Charlie. I’ll, uh, get that bath water going.” He clomped up the stairs to the loft, aware of Luka’s gaze on him the whole time which made him feel self-conscious. And that was plain dumb. Probably he was feeling this way because he spent far too much time alone except for the animals he'd rescued. Wild animals on the reserve, some in the hospital and fenced rehabilitation areas. In the loft where he slept, he skinned out of his jeans, leaving only his boxers. His legs stung a little, still chilly. He went to the bathroom and turned the taps. An abrupt picture of climbing in the tub with Luka so they could both use it to warm up popped into his head. His cheeks reddened. Holy shit! “Charlie.” The voice was timid. He jumped and turned to find Luka hesitating at the top of the loft stairs. “Crap, you should have waited until I could help you!” Luka’s jaw set and he shook his head, but his legs were wobbling. Charlie stalked to him and put an arm around his shoulders, supporting him. “Come on, you’ll feel better when you warm up.” Luka was naked, his body ice white, cold to the touch. Charlie hustled him to the tub and then carefully—Christ!—as carefully as possible, helped him into the water. For a suspended moment, nothing happened but having been damn cold before, Charlie could imagine the pain as warm water touched Luka’s chilled body. Charlie waited for Luka to swear at him or to tell him how he wound up in the woods in the altogether. Instead. Luka cried. In total silence, Luka wept, big tears running down his cheeks and dripping into the tub water. Helpless, heart aching, Charlie knelt beside him, finally reaching out to place a tentative hand on Luka’s shoulder. Luka tensed for a moment and a wild look was in his eyes.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

10

Without knowing what else to do, Charlie talked, not really aware of what he was saying, just stuff like his list of chores for the day. Luka put his head on his knees, wrapped his arms around himself and wept.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

11

Chapter Two

Charlie didn’t know what to do. He cleared his throat. “Luka, God, don’t.” “Sorry.” Luka sounded embarrassed. He turned his body partially away as if trying to hide himself from Charlie. But Charlie didn’t want him to hide. He was afraid to touch Luka. He needed to touch him. Hesitantly he again reached out, again set a hand on Luka’s shoulder. Luka jumped and Charlie jerked his hand back, his heart thumping. “I’m…I’m all right,” Luka whispered. “Well, I’m not,” Charlie said. His fists opened and closed. He wanted to smash something. “Give me a moment,” Luka begged. Leaving him like that was like tearing away skin. Everything in Charlie, his body, his heart, wanted to stay and wrap his arms around Luka, but the young man was so fragile, as if kindness could break him. And that was the last thing Charlie wanted. On his feet, he cleared his throat. “I’m going to heat you up some stew.” Luka raised his head as if to look at Charlie but then averted it. Charlie instinctively realised what was behind the gesture. Luka was ashamed of the scar on his face. “Don’t bother trying to hide it,” he barked. Luka froze and Charlie wanted to kick himself for letting his anger come out. “I mean, ah…” Charlie shoved his hair off his forehead. “I’m real sorry you were hurt, but that scar doesn’t bother me.” “It’s ugly,” Luka said, but his tone said more. His tone said, I’m ugly. Charlie wasn’t sure what to say, but settled on, “Yes, it is. But it’s not you, Luka. It’s just something bad that happened to you once.” Green eyes peeked up at him and Charlie caught his breath. No, Luka wasn’t ugly.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

12

Shit, he had to get out of here before he said or did something wrong. “Just try to relax,” he said. “Stay in there as long as you need to. I’ll give you some privacy.” At the top of the stairs, he heard Luka say hoarsely, “I don’t mind. You being around, I mean.”

**** Hunched at his place at Charlie’s battered maple dining table, Luka reached tentatively for a roll. When Charlie didn’t say or do anything, he snatched one and then began to stuff it down, eating with his eyes closed, totally absorbed in the food. When he choked, Charlie reached out but dropped his hand before he made contact, afraid of spooking Luka. “Easy.” Colour heated Luka’s cheeks and he averted his gaze. He stared at the bowl of stew and then at Charlie, who was eating with a spoon. Suddenly Charlie knew what was wrong. Fucked if he knew why, but he was certain that Luka was unused to using cutlery. Charlie put down his spoon and raised his bowl to his lips. After a moment, Luka did the same, mimicking him. “Not too much, Luka,” Charlie said. Luka ignored him, gulping, his throat working hard as he downed the stew. He dropped the tin bowl a second later, splashing hot stew everywhere. “Luka!” Luka dashed through the door and Charlie’s boots rang as he ran after him. Luka got as far as the tall grass by the woods before he vomited. Charlie forced himself to stay where he was, fingers digging into a post by the door as Luka retched, over and over again. When had he last eaten anything? Finally Charlie forced himself to return to the dining table and wiped up the mess. Luka would come back when he was ready. Charlie had worked with wary creatures before. The creak of the door, a soft, “I’m sorry.” “Nothing to be sorry for. You’re hungry.” Luka came a little closer. “More like starving.” Why was Luka in such bad shape? Charlie’s temper rose again. He sat on his questions, not wanting to make Luka feel any more miserably self-conscious. “Sit. I’ll bring some bread and butter. And a glass of water.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

13

“But—” “It’s okay. We should have started with that. It was my mistake, Luka, not yours. Sit. I’ll get it.”

Luka wasn’t sure he could keep anything down. And then there was the way he felt when he couldn’t remember how to hold a spoon or a knife. His hands could shape themselves into claws, but he didn’t know how to hold a frigging spoon. Charlie had noticed but hadn’t made a big deal of it. And then all that stew had come up, rising through his system like lava. Shit. As Charlie set a plate of bread and butter in front of him, Luka was relieved to see he wouldn’t have to do anything with it but put it in his mouth, like the roll. “Go slow,” Charlie said in a soothing tone. Luka’s tight shoulders relaxed a little, even though his pride was scored. He knew that, damn it. He wasn’t some kid. “Okay,” he said in a muffled voice. He stared at his plate, waiting. When Charlie calmly went back to eating, Luka tried the bread. It felt rough and spongy and too big in his mouth and he didn’t want it, but he forced himself to chew, to eat it. It went down his throat in a big lump. He drank some water, then didn’t feel quite so dizzy. “I didn’t know anyone lived on this mountain,” he finally said. “Yeah, it’s just me,” Charlie said. “And I’m easy to miss. I try not to screw around in the woods too much. Just go in there to check for illegal traps.” “Uh huh. I’ve seen ‘no hunting’ signs posted everywhere.” “This land is a nature reserve.” Charlie poured himself some coffee. There was no way Luka could try something that acidic with his stomach, but he relished the smell of coffee. Damn. It smelt so good, like Charlie. Luka’s nostrils flared as he took in Charlie’s rich scent. Woods and pine needles and snow. He wanted to push close to Charlie, to rub that delicious scent all over himself. “I haven’t seen anyone but you on this mountain. Lots of wolves, deer and cougars.” Peaceful. It had been a sanctuary for Luka after he ran. He’d been totally out of his head for a while, feverish and rabid. He didn’t remember much about that time except in snatches, some which shamed him. Dempsy had been giving him something those last days, some

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

14

kind of experimental drug that put a red mist over everything, made him afraid, made him angry… He sighed, shoulders falling back. Slowly this tranquil bit of wilderness had changed him. He'd felt safe, as if he had a home for the first time since his entire family and pack had been slaughtered. If not for a hunter shooting him while he'd been roaming as a wolf, he probably would have taken the mountain as his territory and stayed up in the heights, never going back to where humans lived. Charlie smiled. “Yes,” he said with satisfaction. “Just the way it was a hundred years ago, more or less. It’s good. We’re in danger of forgetting what Chief Seattle said. We’re merely a strand in the web of life and what we do to it, we do to ourselves.” “You’re a healer.” “A guardian. I want this land to be here for future generations.” “A guardian.” Luka liked the sound of that. That was exactly how he saw Charlie, as a protector. “Yeah.” “And it looks like that bread is going to stay down.” Charlie’s grey eyes, so like the many portraits Luka had drawn, were smug. Luka couldn’t help smiling. “You tricked me. Talked to me so I’d forget how bad it felt goin’ down." Charlie nodded. “Yep.” His expression sobered. “You can sleep in the guest room under the loft. I’ll make it up for you.” “I…” How could he thank Charlie for saving him? For bringing him here, warming and feeding him? To a wolf, that would make Luka part of his clan, but Luka wasn’t sure how humans saw things. He’d barely spent any time with them. As if he read Luka’s uncertainty, Charlie said in an easy tone, “You can stay as long as you want. It’s lonely up here so I don’t mind the company. If you want, you can help out, but only if you want.” With that, Charlie began to gather the dishes from the table but Luka stopped him with a hand on his thick wrist. He managed to look into Charlie's eyes. Trust him, I can trust him, Luka told himself. The idea was completely alien and didn’t feel natural yet…but maybe if he gave it time, he’d get used to it and believe it. “I’ll take care of the dishes.” “But I just hauled your ass down here from the snow! You’re in no shape. Sit down. I’m going to get your room ready.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

15

Luka raised his brows. “So what’s stopping you? Go do that and I’ll…clean up.” This he could do, even if he’d struggled with using cutlery again. One of his duties as a slave of the pack was to clean up when he was permitted above stairs. And Charlie’s kitchen was small, so Luka could find his way around. Charlie studied him sharply. After a moment he gusted out an exasperated sigh. His blue T-shirt tightened around a heavily muscled chest. He raked a hand through already tousled brown hair. “All right.” Despite the healer’s wisdom Charlie had shown in the way he had helped Luka, leaving him be when Luka needed space, the human could have no idea of a shifter’s recuperative powers. Luka wanted to smile again. That felt weird. “And after I’m done that, you’ll let me see your back, Luka,” Charlie said, his tone brooking no opposition. “I’m sure washing it helped but I’d like to check it out.” “It’s not so bad.” The wound was healing at last because he was warm and fed. It still stung, but he could feel toxins seeping from his skin. It would probably be gone without a mark in a couple of of days. How would he explain that to Charlie, who clearly wanted to take care of him? Luka chewed his lip. Charlie gave him a stern look. “All right.” Luka figured he'd think of something. He liked it here. He couldn’t stay long, though. As gentle as Charlie was, he wouldn’t want someone like Luka to stay, but he didn’t want to be driven out for being a shifter. Maybe…maybe sometimes he could come back. Just talk to Charlie. Maybe share some of that coffee. The idea gave him hope, something that felt even more alien than the idea of trust. It also terrified him. After Charlie had left the room, Luka had to brace himself against the table and take some deep breaths, inhaling more of Charlie’s enticing and comforting scent. I’m safe, he told himself. I am safe here. But his heart pounded. Any time he’d ever been happy in the past, his joy had been torn away from him. He remembered the small sparrow with a bent wing he’d befriended when he was a boy in his basement prison. The little bird hadn’t been able to fly well, just hop around and so Luka had shared what tiny amount of food he could spare, pushing it through the small cracked window. He’d begun to look forward to mornings and feeding the creature, watching it jog through the grass and cock its head to stare at Luka with beady

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

16

black eyes. It would sometimes tap at the glass if Luka slept in and didn’t leave an offering. But then one morning he’d found the sparrow dead, feathers crushed and bloody, and Luka had known Dempsy had discovered his only friend. Life would never get better for someone like him. And he carried that knowledge close even though he had escaped. He was still afraid to believe that things could ever be good for him. He heard a clatter from the direction of the guest room and looked up, listening hard, but heard only Charlie swearing. Busy making Luka’s bed, Charlie must have dropped something. The simple moment broke through Luka’s fear so he tried to reassure himself again. I am safe right now. Just for now I am safe.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

17

Chapter Three

Charlie came out of a dead sleep at, at what? A scream? Chills raced down his body as he lay in his bed, listening. Nothing. Nothing but the sound of his heart galloping like an unbroken horse. But he knew he’d heard it. He slipped out of his sheets. The moon outside his window was sinking into the trees. It would still be a while before the sun rose, this time of year. The floor was cold against his feet. He made it to the edge of the loft when he remembered a robe and mumbled a curse under his breath as he yanked it off a wooden knob on the end of his bed. He couldn’t enter Luka’s room in the nude. The only light in the great room came from the dying embers of the fire he’d banked before he and Luka had gone to bed. He forced himself to go to the hearth first, put on another log and kindling. He waited until the wood caught and began to crackle. Only then did he let himself go to Luka’s bedroom. He hesitated outside the closed door, raising his fist twice to knock then letting it fall. How would Luka react if he offered him…what? Comfort? He shook his head. He had no idea how to do that. One reason he was good with the animals on the reserve was he withdrew and let them find their own way. He had been alone so long he didn’t remember how to give comfort to another human being. He rubbed his growing whiskers, at a stalemate as he struggled with himself. A picture popped into his head of himself on Luka’s bed, holding him atop the patchwork quilt. Luka turned and rested his head against Charlie’s bare chest while Charlie stroked his hair. Charlie hardened at the idea, then stood frozen. Holy shit, what was wrong with him? Luka obviously needed a friend, not… He spun away from the door and headed to the kitchen. He’d make some cocoa and lace it with whisky. That would help him get some more sleep, and maybe help him keep his inappropriate thoughts to himself.

****

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

18

Luka was crouched behind the dresser in Charlie’s guest room. He’d been polite when Charlie had shown him the bed and the fresh towels in a basket and the guest shaving supplies and the toothbrush, but he couldn’t sleep in that beautiful bed. He hadn’t slept in a bed all his own since…a long time. Dog boy isn’t allowed his own bed. He remembered Dempsy telling him that when he was twelve, hand snared in Luka’s hair. He squeezed his eyes shut. Don’t think about it. In the darkness, Luka feared that just thinking about Dempsy would summon him, like an evil spirit. He tried to think about something else, counting his own heart beats, feeling the sweat drying on his skin, remembering Charlie's lingering scent. Someone else had slept here a long time ago, an older man who smelt vaguely Charlie-like but this room had been vacant since then. Charlie didn't let people stay over and the loft had smelt only of Charlie. He didn’t have a lover. Luka wrapped his arms around himself, thinking about that, becoming anxious. If Charlie wasn’t using someone else, would he expect Luka to provide relief? But maybe Charlie didn’t like young men. Not everyone did. And Luka had found ways to make himself unappealing to the others. He’d let his hair grow out, left it unwashed for months at a time so it had become a tangled clump down his back. He’d rubbed mud and garbage over himself and even animal droppings from those rare times he’d been allowed to hunt, so most of the men in the pack had stopped visiting him. If Charlie wanted him Luka could stop bathing. He could eat something that made him queasy and when Charlie wanted him, he could vomit. Thinking up a plan helped his pulse slow. A light knock on his door, and he jumped. “W-what?” Another knock. Luka licked his lips and dared to raise his voice. “Yeah?” “I’m going out to feed the animals I have in pens near the house. I cooked breakfast and left half for you.” And with that, he heard Charlie’s footsteps retreating from his door. Wait… Charlie was leaving him alone, Charlie had cooked for him?

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

19

Luka stood, scuttled around the sheltering furniture and went to the door. He opened it cautiously and listened. His keen hearing caught nothing but the creak of the log cabin in the wind. Charlie was gone.

**** He was carrying a pail with meat? for the elderly Siberian tiger when Charlie got the feeling he was being watched. Luka. As he would with a wary animal, Charlie forced himself not to react, but kept on about his business. If Luka wanted to approach him, he could. If not, well, Charlie wasn’t going to go chasing after him. He obviously was terrified of people, not that Charlie could blame him for that. That wound on his back had been from a bullet. Jesus. He’d wanted to report it but Luka was reluctant, saying it was healing up fine. Sheba wasn’t in a very good mood that morning. Her ears were flat against her skull and she didn’t look enthusiastic about the food he’d brought. Not a good sign. It could be her arthritis or maybe the teeth she still had left were bothering her. Either way, as Charlie watched her pace, he decided he’d have to call the new Easterner vet, Adrian, who’d set up practice out of a homestead on the other side of Charlie’s mountain. “Not happy to see me, you beautiful thing?” he asked her. After a moment, Sheba prowled closer, meeting Charlie’s gaze. He caught his breath, feeling a bit like he had the first time he met Luka’s gaze. Predator. That’s what Luka reminded him of, one of the predators Charlie took in, took care of, healed. Except with Luka there was more dimension to Charlie’s recognition that Luka was a predator. Charlie frowned, trying to figure it out. He…was attracted to that part of Luka, he realised. He liked Luka’s feral side. Why? A picture popped in Charlie’s mind of Luka on top of Charlie, holding his hands above his head, holding him like his captive. Sheba rolled over, rubbing against an old tree stump, paws in the air, playful. She broke through the spell of Charlie’s thoughts.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

20

He cleared his throat, relieved the weird moment had been shattered. “Now that’s the girl I want those school children to meet,” he told the big cat. “Meantime, we’ll see if we can find out what has you in a bad mood this morning.” While he was mulling that over, thinking about which volunteers were calm enough to help him tranquillise and lift Sheba onto a cart so they could take her to the small infirmary, he heard the crunch of gravel from behind him. Luka had come closer. “Shit!” Luka breathed as he got a peek at Sheba, one of Charlie’s more exotic residents. “She was in a circus where the animals were being abused,” Charlie explained. “There was no place for her once they were freed, so I had her brought here.” Near the fence, Luka stared at the animal who growled a challenge at him. He growled back. Sheba blinked, looking surprised. She cocked her head at Luka, as if considering him. Charlie looked at Luka, getting an odd vibe from him. “You’re not afraid of her?” “She’s old. I could take her,” Luka said. “She’d hurt me, but I’m fast.” Charlie grabbed Luka’s arm, hard. “What the hell? You aren’t to go in her cage, you understand me? I don’t want you hurt. I don’t want her hurt.” Instead of looking terrified as he had sometimes back at the cabin, now Luka seemed sure of himself, as if being around a wild animal centred him in some mysterious way. “Since she’s yours, I won’t hurt her,” he said. “She smells sick.” “Crap.” It might be the dose of medicine they’d been trying out for her stiff limbs. “I didn’t smell anything.” Luka just raised his brows as if the scent was obvious. “I’m going to call Adrian. He’s the closest vet and a good man. We’ll have to tranq her and take a look.” Luka’s face closed. He took a step back. “You can stay in the log cabin while we’re busy with her,” Charlie said. “I’ve got plenty of books and a whole library of DVDs.” “DVDs.” Luka looked blank for a moment. “Like video tapes?” “Uh, yeah. Except no tape.” He smiled and Luka gave him a tiny smile in return.

****

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

21

“I can make us dinner.” Luka had no idea what or how, but he could try. Surely cooking wasn’t that hard. He’d practiced holding a fork and the knife. He could mix stuff with a spoon. “That would be great since I have to drive down the mountain tonight. I’m teaching at the community college,” Charlie said as they walked back to the cabin. Smoke rose lazily from the chimney and Luka could almost feel the warmth inside those walls. He would stay there when the vet came. Charlie wasn’t insisting Luka meet the vet and be sociable. Luka could stay safe in the cabin, watch from the cabin. Already Charlie’s home felt like Luka’s territory. It wasn’t spotless. It was dusty and there was laundry that needed to be folded and Charlie wore his boots inside, so there was dirt on the coiled rag rugs, but even the boot scars made the place feel homier to Luka. His mother… He remembered she’d kept their home so clean he’d never been allowed to wear shoes inside. She'd polished the wooden dining room table to a dark mirror every day, using lemon oil that stung his nose. “What…what do you teach?” Luka made himself ask. He guessed he was supposed to be interested in things like that, human things. “Restorative yoga,” Charlie said. Luka frowned. “Yoga. You know, bend-into-a-pretzel? They even carry magazines about it out here nowadays in the supermarket.” Luka didn’t know but he nodded anyway. “Sure.” Charlie gave him a look and Luka swallowed, getting a feeling that Charlie knew he didn’t know what yoga was. “I can show you.” Luka immediately shook his head. Go into town with Charlie? There’d be people, strangers… No. “Here,” Charlie said, again as if he’d seen through Luka’s turbulence to what troubled him. “I could show you some positions—they’re called asanas—here in the cabin. It’s very relaxing. Helps me sleep when I’m, ah, stirred up.” Sleep. Luka didn’t remember but he thought he might have had a bad dream the night before. Silver and fire. He’d heard boards creaking above his head from the loft, so Charlie had also been awake.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

22

“I don’t bend much.” And Charlie smiled, as if he’d said something funny. “No, I don’t think you do, Luka.” Luka wasn’t sure what they’d exchanged exactly, but he felt easier when they entered the house together. When he’d been afraid Charlie would want…things from him, Charlie had left, Charlie had other things to do, as if it never occurred to him to demand that Luka please him. Charlie would leave this evening so Luka could change and run off into the woods. An urge hit him to just leave, never come back, never try to understand what yoga was or DVDs or want to make dinner for someone. It caught him like a hawk riding an updraught. He stayed at the kitchen window, staring into the forest, barely aware of Charlie on the phone.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

23

Chapter Four

Luka swore when he cut his finger again. Chopping vegetables was hard work. What the hell was he doing? He didn’t know how to cook. He’d thought he could wing it, but… He looked around at the mess that had once been Charlie’s orderly and Spartan kitchen. The stew he’d tried to make had wound up covering two pans and the counter. A pile of chopped up…something lay on the kitchen table. He wasn’t sure even by scent if the pile was cheese or garlic. And the biscuits… The door creaked open, followed by the slam of the screen door, surprising him. He hadn’t expected Charlie back so soon. Charlie paused, eyes widening as he took in the silent drama in his kitchen. “Ah… You look very productive.” “Yeah.” He had that going for him, anyway. Luka rubbed his jaw, hearing the rasp of whiskers. He’d been planning to shower and shave while his stew simmered, but that plan hadn’t worked out. “It smells like…is something burning?” Charlie looked around frantically. “Something was.” Luka tossed him one of the biscuits. Charlie caught it and gave the charred log a wary look before knocking it against the wall in experimentation. “I could make a serious dent with this.” “Yeah.” Luka dropped his head. Charlie gusted out a sigh. “Fuck it. Two options. We stay in and I help you with this or I take us somewhere.” Luka tensed. “We can go to the drive in,” Charlie continued. “You’d just be sitting next to me in my truck. If you can bear the company.” “I wanted to…” Luka couldn’t put it into words. It was stupid, but he’d wanted to thank Charlie for saving him. Charlie apparently didn’t want to rut with Luka, which he told himself was good. Probably Charlie didn’t like other men.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

24

“It’s the thought that counts,” Charlie said briskly. “Come on, let’s get a bag and get all this out to the compost pile. It won’t go to waste that way. Next year’s vegetables will benefit.” Somehow he didn’t feel so bad with Charlie whistling. Luka didn’t recognise the song, of course, but the flutelike sounds were mesmerising so he paused and listened a couple of of times. They filled a garbage bag and soon the kitchen was gleaming again. Charlie took him out back to where he grew his vegetables and Luka marvelled at the neat rows of freshly tilled earth, evident even with snow resting over the ground like a thinning blanket. It was warming already so the snow would melt soon. “I have a draught horse in the barn. I use him sometimes for riding, but he’s also useful in harness for ploughing,” Charlie said. Luka had smelt the horse but he didn’t add that it smelt like food to him. He had a feeling that would freak Charlie out. He hadn’t thought that way when he was a boy, he remembered, but all those years of living as a wolf as often as possible… Would he ever be human enough for Charlie? He blinked at that thought. “Luka?” “Um.” Luka shook his head, flushing. There was one of those pauses where he knew Charlie was considering him, then deciding not to pry. He found himself both grateful and resentful at the same time. He didn’t like Charlie thinking he had to walk on eggshells, like there was something wrong. “It’s, ah, a nice garden,” Luka finished lamely. Charlie raised his brows but settled for dumping the fresh rejects from the kitchen onto a pile and raking it deep. Steam rose along with the scents of earth and decay. “This is a good place,” Luka said, looking around. A weathered barn was tucked in the shelter of the trees with a cleared field beyond. Did Charlie use it for grazing animals or growing stuff? Luka took a sniff but only caught that older-man scent. “Someone lived with you,” he said. “Someone a long time ago but no one since then.” Charlie had finished dumping out the last contents of the bag and looked at Luka. “My dad. He’s been gone a long time now. I miss…having someone around.” “You don’t bring people home. You don’t bring them to your bed.” Charlie flushed and Luka realised he’d said something wrong. But he needed to know.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

25

“I…no.” “Are you celibate?” “What? Uh.” Luka took a deep sniff. “You smell celibate.” “Thanks!” Charlie looked cranky. Luka opened his mouth but Charlie raised his hand. “Let’s just go to the drive-in, all right?”

**** The Buckin’ Bronco Drive In was just outside the town limits of White Deer, Montana. Charlie picked up on Luka’s tension as they got closer but he seemed to relax when they didn’t enter the town. Charlie didn’t think it was a good thing, Luka being so wary of just visiting White Deer, but what could be done? Luka wasn’t a charity project. “Shakes, burgers, all right?” Charlie asked. “Yeah.” Luka watched with interest as Charlie passed the money through the little window then drove forward to wait for their food. “Side order of fries with that, on the house,” Marg said, offering Charlie the food in warm, aromatic paper bags. He passed them along with the tall shakes and extras to Luka, who was staring at the food like a hungry wolf. “Thanks, Marg.” Charlie nodded to her and then pulled into the parking lot so they could enjoy their meal. Luka had ordered a strawberry shake and his eyes closed tightly as he savoured it. Charlie felt familiar pity move him as he wondered how long it had been since his mysterious new houseguest had tasted a shake. “Good, but yours isn’t meat?,” Luka said, giving Charlie such a confused look that he laughed. “It smells like…beans.” “I’m a vegetarian, pretty much. Didn’t mean to be, but just evolved in that direction. Healthier since my dad died of problems with his heart.” Luka grimaced and Charlie grinned. Luka seemed so uncomplicated in some ways, like the animals Charlie cared for. He liked that simplicity, liked knowing what Luka was thinking. Most of the time, anyway.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

26

“No beans in your burger, huh? You’re pure predator.” Luka looked surprised at Charlie’s words but also a little smug. “Yes.” He devoured his burger, half of Charlie’s fries and part of his chocolate shake. Charlie wasn’t that hungry and Luka seemed ravenous. After they'd finished, Charlie sighed. “Luka…” Now they needed to talk. “I told you that you are welcome to stay with me and you are, until you get on your feet again, leastways.” He forced himself to add the last since he didn’t want Luka leaving. Ever. But that wasn’t realistic. That was just Charlie’s gut feeling. “But from what you tried to do in the kitchen, it’s clear you want to do something in return.” Luka stilled beside him and Charlie saw darkness and heat in his green eyes. “You’re lonely,” Luka said. Charlie blinked. “I’m not sure what that has to do with anything.” “You smell lonely. You have no mate, no one in your bed.” Luka scooted closer to him, shoving aside the paper garbage. Charlie could feel Luka beside him, hard and warm and lean with those beautiful eyes holding his so Charlie couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. Luka swallowed, as if what he was doing both tempted him and frightened him. Charlie could relate. Gentle lips settled over his own and Charlie’s eyes fell shut even as he asked himself what the fuck he was doing, hadn’t he been about to offer Luka a job? Now Luka was kissing him, kissing him like he had a whole lot more experience than Charlie. When Luka’s tongue licked the seam of his closed mouth, as if he were trying to nudge bashful Charlie into opening for him, Charlie moaned. He was trembling. He was excited. He had never lit off this quick for anyone but Luka could do anything to him and he’d allow it. Anything. “Oh, yeah…” Luka’s hand moved up his thigh and then cupped him, squeezed him so confidently that Charlie whimpered. “You’re just…not very experienced.” Luka sounded surprised. Bright red, breathing hard, Charlie knocked Luka’s hand off him. Holy shit! He yanked open the truck door, belatedly relieved that they were in the back of the lot so no one could have seen them. He paced, aware of Luka’s gaze on him like a cat watching a

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

27

mouse. What the hell? One kiss and the dynamics between them seemed to have spun around. He felt lost and Luka was the only solid ground, which was crazy. “Charlie, don’t take on so.” Luka. He was out of the truck, stalking Charlie. Charlie backed away but when Luka followed, eyes narrowed as if he were on the track of his prey, Charlie managed to stop. “I’m too old for you,” he said. “You are?” Luka looked confused. “Why’d you go and do that anyway?” Harassed, Charlie shoved his hair out of his eyes. “You could have anyone, a guy like you…” A beautiful young man. But damn, he couldn’t say that. “What do you mean, why?” Luka’s brows lowered and he looked pissed. “You said I should work for you, so—” “Work?” Charlie felt like Luka had punched him in the heart. Luka averted his face. “It wouldn’t be so bad. You wouldn’t be alone and…it’s not so bad. Not with you.” Jesus. Charlie strode back to his truck. “In!” he growled. “Get in.” Luka ran to keep up, snatching the passenger door open even as Charlie put the truck in gear and fishtailed out of his parking space. “What the hell is wrong with you?” “What’s wrong with me?” But he couldn’t start, he didn’t have time because he’d lost track of time and he had a class to teach and Luka… Luka had kissed him. Luka thought it was work, but thought servicing Charlie…wasn’t so bad. “Where are we going?” Luka demanded. Charlie drove the back roads to the college, mouth tight as dust rose behind them in a column. He ignored Luka because he didn’t know what he’d say if he opened his mouth. When they reached the campus, he parked the truck, hands still gripping the wheel tight but his breathing had slowed down. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” “No.” He looked at Luka when the younger man opened his mouth. “We don’t have time to get into all this shit you raised. I have to teach a class.” Mad. He’d stay mad. It was better than how he’d felt when Luka told him he’d only kissed him because he thought he

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

28

owed Charlie something. He glared into those confused green eyes, seeing a hint of vulnerability. “You really don’t know, do you?” “I’m…not used to humans.” Luka blinked. “I mean people.” “Right.” Charlie sucked in a breath. “Stay out here then. You shouldn’t encounter any.” He shoved the door open, the keys shaking in his hands. He didn’t know how he was going to teach class tonight. Restorative yoga was his sanctuary, when he gave himself a little spoiling and tried to pass it on to older people in the small town, some who were widowed and grieving, some who were recovering from cancer. Luka was blocking his way. How’d he moved so fast? “No.” Charlie’s brows rose. “No?” “No, you’re upset and it has to do with me kissing you.” Luka’s lips thinned. “You liked it.” “I imagine the lonely men you’ve…worked for in the past probably appreciated your skills,” Charlie grumbled. “I haven’t had any complaints.” I’ll just bet. But he kept those words to himself. “Suit yourself. I’m going inside to teach.” “I’m going with you,” Luka said, still stubborn. Charlie laughed in disbelief, again wondering how he was going to settle down and radiate calm when he could still feel Luka’s lips pressed against his own, his tongue, his hand stroking Charlie so he’d just about given the other man a handful of his jizz. The sound of Luka’s boots drummed through the empty corridors, dogging Charlie.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

29

Chapter Five

Charlie was never sure how many students he’d have from class to class. This time he was happy to see a woman who had never given her name, in fact had barely spoken, but who he’d named ‘Mrs. Twinkle’ in his mind because of the way she seemed to sparkle. She was about the age his father would have been if he’d lived and she gave their shared practice the same kind of energy. He was grateful she was here today because when he'd walked into the small space they used as a studio, chilly carpeted floors with yoga mats spread in a half fan around the room, he was still shaking from his confrontation with Luka. As if she sensed his agitation, Mrs. Twinkle got up from her mat and went to Charlie’s at the centre of the fan. “Everything all right?” she asked gently, brown eyes solemn. Charlie fought with himself, not wanting to distract her with his stuff, but then gusted out a sigh. “No.” He looked around but he saw no sign of Luka. Where had he gone? “I, uh, just had an argument with someone.” “Someone you care about enough to get you all stirred up. Good,” she said, pitching her voice low so they wouldn’t be overheard by the other students as they brought bolsters and blankets out from storage. Charlie raised his brows. “Good? I don’t think so.” Mrs. Twinkle smiled. “You’re entirely too comfortable in your rut, Charlie. It’s a good rut with lots of ways to fulfil yourself, but it’s still a rut. You need someone to shake you up. You need to be desperate, to be unhappy.” “That’s…a very interesting philosophy.” “Thank you.” She grinned at his sour look. “I lived for forty years with a man who did just that for me, but he also made me happy.” She returned to her mat, giving him a moment to reflect. He closed his eyes, listening to himself. Luka made me happy but Luka hurt me. Damned if he knew what made him more afraid, that someone could make him happy…or hurt him. Reluctantly, he had to admit Mrs. Twinkle had a point. He liked things comfortable and uncomplicated. And that just wasn’t Luka.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

30

**** Luka broke into one of the lockers in the college gym and found a soft pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt. He changed into them and abandoned his borrowed clothing. He paused and used the water in the sink to comb his hair over his scar, concealing it before he sprinted back to the room where Charlie was teaching. He hesitated a moment at the door, but he was as ready as he was going to be. He went inside and sat on a mat, mimicking the other people. Charlie was helping a man into a position with his legs forming a diamond shape, propped up by little circular cushions and a long flat cushion to support the man’s back. Luka cocked his head. Kind of looked a bit like his father’s favourite arm chair, except for the being on the floor part. He emulated it with his own props then sat, careful not to dislodge his long hair. “Relax into the asana,” Charlie was saying in the same soothing voice he’d used with Sheba…and with Luka when he was afraid. He paused beside another man who smelt sick to Luka. “How are you today, Mr. Cleaver?” “Tired from radiation. Tired to death, Charlie. My skin hurts.” “You should be sure to mention that to your doctor,” Charlie said as he gently adjusted the older man into the position. “This should feel good but if it doesn’t, let me know. I’m right here to assist you.” The older man gripped Charlie’s hand and Luka watched the way Charlie took a moment to run his hands over the man’s shoulders and arms, as if his mate could heal with his touch. His mate? Luka blinked. When he’d escaped all he’d wanted was to find his mate but he’d been confused and sick. Only on Charlie’s mountain had he begun to recover. In Charlie’s eyes he saw himself whole again. “Oh, Charlie’s so adorable,” Luka heard one of the older women saying. “I feel better already.” Luka frowned. Adorable? Charlie winced as if he too, heard the comment and Luka smiled. When Charlie reached Luka, he stiffened. He stared, then swallowed. “This pose is called ‘reclining bound ankle.’ It’s helpful to open the chest up for deeper breathing.” “Touch me,” Luka rasped.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

31

Charlie’s eyes widened and Luka caught a flicker of fear. No. He didn’t want Charlie afraid. He didn’t know what he’d done to make him so mad. He’d just kissed him like he thought he’d wanted but then Charlie had got mad. Luka licked his lips and Charlie’s gaze tracked the motion. His pupils enlarged and his nostrils flared. Luka smelt the hot wash of desire emanating from Charlie. “Touch me,” His voice ground into a harsher sound. Charlie obeyed, timidly putting his hands on Luka as he had the old man, running them over Luka’s tense shoulders and down his arms. Luka shivered, his eyes closing. He felt like he came alive under that touch, as if they merged. His mate. There could be no mistake, but as Charlie moved away and struck some kind of metal bowl before telling the class in a hypnotic voice that it was time to let go and relax…Luka accepted that Charlie was his. He just had to find a way for Charlie to be okay with that.

Charlie tried not to look at Luka. He’d been shocked when he’d come to help his last student and found Luka watching him expectantly, demanding his touch. Jesus. He’d almost come just from stroking Luka’s shoulders and arms. What the hell was going on with him? He struggled to continue the class, feeling Luka’s attention on him. He managed because some of his students were in pain and as he worked with them, he gave them some relief. Some had lost loved ones so that they lacked for simple human contact anymore. Charlie gave them that. He avoided looking in Luka’s direction but he felt hyper-aware of every breath Luka took, as if when they’d touched, they’d forged a link that Charlie didn’t understand. “Next we’ll do Mountain Brook. It’s a good position if you are around people a lot of the day, since we sometimes hunch our back defensively,” Charlie said as they moved further into the lesson. He knelt next to Mr. Cleaver, helping him to put his legs on top of a pillow and his mid-back over a bolster. “Use a folded blanket under your head. Once you’re comfortable, picture running water over your body, taking away pain, fear, loneliness…” He patted the older man and then saw that everyone in his class was already in position, since they were familiar with it—except Luka.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

32

Green eyes held his in challenge and the air sizzled. Swallowing, Charlie went to Luka and briskly assisted him into the asana, but his hands were trembling. He saw Luka look at them and cock a brow, as if he took note of Charlie’s upset. Luka bent close and whispered in his ear, “Don’t be scared.” Charlie glowered at him but kept his voice soft. “I’m not!” “Yeah, right.” “Where did you get those clothes?” Charlie asked, going on the attack to divert Luka. “Stole them.” There wasn’t one ounce of contrition in Luka’s tone, he was just stating facts. “Thought so.” “So why did you ask?” “You should return them.” Luka shrugged. “If you want.” Charlie moved on and for the rest of the class he stayed focused. It wasn’t easy, but he managed it. When the class was over, people cleaned their mats with herbal spray and rolled them up, putting away the props they’d used. He was happy to see that everyone looked more relaxed and moved with a little more ease. This was why he taught restorative yoga. He’d discovered yoga after his father had died and he’d felt so alone, like the grief was eating a hole out of his gut. Yoga had helped him to forget the grief and let it out, like accumulated steam from an engine finding a vent. “I don’t think anyone here would have stared at your scar,” he told Luka when they were alone again. “They have their own problems.” “So I saw.” Luka’s voice was thoughtful. “You know, I didn’t come here to get into this, uh, exercise stuff, if you can call lying on pillows exercise.” Charlie raised his brows. “Okay, some of the positions were a little tough to hold. I felt…” The teacher, the healer in Charlie had to know. “What?” “Sometimes irritable, and that back bend thing over the pillow made me feel…like someone could easily attack me and I was in a bad position to defend myself.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

33

Charlie nodded. “Vulnerable. No, it’s not a comfortable feeling. The asanas are about building trust so you can relax. You did well, Luka. If you want to come back to my class, you’ll be welcome.” Luka intended to, but not so much for the yoga. He wanted to see and feel more of Charlie’s healing powers. He’d thought humans were mundane, with no special powers like the power to transform, but he had detected a light that sometimes arced from Charlie’s hands to touch the person he was helping. He had a gift, even if no one except a shifter could detect it. “Are you going to tell me what I did to make you so mad?” Charlie sighed but the ambience of the class seemed to have worked on him too because he didn’t tense up and get angry again. “I was going to offer you a job as a hand on my reserve. I could use regular help. There’s no need for you to…” Charlie shook his head, pink touching his cheeks. A job, on Charlie’s land. It was perfect. Unless he screwed up and revealed too much of himself, he’d be nearby. He’d eat at the same table. He’d sleep under the same roof. “I want that,” Luka said. A tiny smile touched Charlie’s lips. Luka felt the urge to get his pencils and try to capture it, which reminded him of his little album in his knapsack. He hadn’t had it when he came back to himself, which meant Charlie had missed it on the mountain. He’d have to retrieve it soon. “All right then,” Charlie said. “Let’s shake on it.” Luka’s tone was silken. He’d been trained to seduce. Come closer, he willed Charlie as he would his prey. Come to me. Charlie took his hand and Luka shifted so they were closer, sharing warmth. He waited for familiar bad feelings to rise, but they didn’t. Charlie just stared at him patiently and Luka felt his confidence growing. His gaze fell to Charlie’s chest, watching it rise and fall with his breath, hyper-aware of warm, silky skin. His body collided softly and inevitably with Charlie’s. As if the contact jarred him out of a spell, Charlie gasped in shock. Luka didn’t want him to pull away this time. What to do? Charlie had liked it when they’d kissed… He pressed his lips against Charlie’s, hearing his husky groan, feeling the way he shook in Luka’s arms.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

34

“What’s happening with us?” Charlie tried to pull away but Luka overwhelmed him with another kiss, taking his weight easily and lowering him to his mat, which he conveniently hadn’t rolled up yet. It felt so good, his body covering Charlie’s sturdy one. He raked a finger down his fly and Charlie shuddered. Charlie was the vulnerable one now. Luka was in control. “Don’t…have to do this,” Charlie whispered. Luka frowned, confused. He’d been so afraid before he’d felt Charlie’s shyness. When they touched, Luka could sense that Charlie didn’t want to be in command. He was Luka’s. “No,” Luka said. “Want to. Right now, just want to.” “Luka, wait…” Charlie put a hand over Luka’s. He was gulping in air and Luka could hear his speeding heart. “This isn’t hazy fantasies. Being with you is like…smacking my head against asphalt. It’s real, it’s solid and it’s now.” Also huffing, Luka looked at him, trying to kerb frustration and listen to his human. “But it feels good, Charlie. You like men, you like me. I didn’t know at first but I can smell it. And this feels like your mountain.” Charlie frowned, and Luka knew he wasn’t saying it right somehow. “My mountain?” Luka closed his eyes. “On your mountain…felt so lost but then I could see myself.” “You mean…you were recovering from, uh, some kind of trauma, returning to who you truly are?” “Yes!” Charlie smiled, as if amused at how emphatic Luka sounded. “And who you are, is naturally bossy.” “I am…bossy. I like to be on top. I want to be on top of you.” His eyes narrowed on Charlie and he heard Charlie’s pulse jerk. “Yes, Luka,” he said, voice cracking. Luka slowly opened Charlie’s belt, giving himself time, feeling how this was different before he tugged down his own stretch pants. Two hard cocks slid together and Luka took them in his fist, working them. “God! Oh, God yes!” Charlie cried out, digging his fingers now into Luka’s shoulders.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

35

He was pleasuring Charlie. Luka’s balls tightened deliciously and he felt a tingle in his lower back. Charlie satisfied equalled Charlie under him, damp with sweat, surrendering… He was nothing like the men and women Luka had been forced to service in exchange for food. That had been wrong, always felt so wrong to Luka, like parts of him had broken off every time he played that role so he’d become more and more lost to himself. But Charlie didn’t want to control Luka, not at all. Luka decided what he wanted. “I want you to come on me and I want to come on you.” Charlie’s legs shifted restlessly, spreading a little wider, so Luka could rub himself against Charlie with more freedom. This was right. He was the bossy one and Charlie wanted him to be bossy.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

36

Chapter Six

Luka almost laughed at the expression on Charlie’s face, as if he were facing himself the way Luka was. He didn’t look exactly thrilled, more like shocked. And on one level, Luka didn’t get it either. Why did he want to do these things with someone? Was it because he was dirty, secretly wanting them, like Dempsy always said? “Luka, is this too fast?” Charlie looked dazed though consternation was dawning in his steady grey eyes. Eyes that had haunted Luka whilst he’d been a captive. Honest eyes. Gentle eyes. “You saved me,” he said. He couldn’t resist brushing his mouth against Charlie’s again. “Well, yeah…” Charlie’s brow crinkled. He probably thought Luka meant finding him on the mountain. No way could Luka ever tell him the truth, that he’d seen Charlie long before. “Save me now, Charlie,” Luka whispered. “I want to be nice for you. I want to be human for you.” “Luka…” Charlie pushed him away, rising to his knees, staring. But he didn’t say more. Didn’t resist. Luka recaptured Charlie’s needy prick, sliding his thumb over it, up and down, watching as Charlie arched into his grip, as his lips parted, fell slack. His eyes closed as he gave himself to Luka and again hot triumph ruled Luka. Yes. Yes, Charlie, be this way for me.

Luka, this is a bad idea. Hadn’t he just said that? Or maybe he’d only thought it. Charlie didn’t know, but helplessly thrust into Luka’s grip, totally his captive as Luka took him over. Charlie hadn’t much experience but he had enough to tell Luka had plenty. The way he worked Charlie, his aching shaft with a luscious, smacking sound, spreading pre-cum, lubricating so that he was close to exploding. Oh, God, oh, fuck, no one had touched his dick in so long and this wasn’t just someone he’d hired out of desperation, so he could get the edge off and sleep again. This was Luka, a beautiful, wild man. He called to Charlie on the same level as Charlie’s beloved wilderness.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

37

And Luka was confident, a man pleasing another man, knowing exactly how he wanted it, knowing how much pressure and even giving too much as he ran the edge of a fingernail over the tip of Charlie’s penis. “Oh, fuck!” Hurt so good. Charlie shuddered at every impact of Luka’s fist hitting the base of his cock. He whimpered as Luka’s mouth brushed Charlie’s exposed throat. For some reason Luka’s possession of the tender flesh got Charlie even harder and Luka growled against his skin, as if he liked it too, Charlie’s total submission. “Oh, yeah, you like this,” Luka said. “It wouldn’t take much to make you grab your ankles for me.” “My…ankles?” Charlie blinked, trying to follow Luka. A picture popped into his head… He was lying on his back, pulling his ankles up high to his chest, exposing himself completely to Luka. As if to bring the picture home, Luka trailed a finger around Charlie’s rock-hard balls. “Ah!” He flinched, innocent there. “Never had anyone inside you?” “No. Not s-sure I want anyone now,” Charlie said. “You want someone now.” Luka’s tone called Charlie’s bluff. Charlie nodded, swallowing hard and they were close, so close together, crushed so that their hot sweaty bodies rubbed as he looked down, attention locked on the gutwrenching sight of Luka’s fist wrapped around Charlie’s cock. Luka ignored his own erection, focusing only on pleasing Charlie. That bothered Charlie—didn’t Luka want to get off?—but he couldn’t focus. “Please…” Begging Luka, stripped down to his need and Luka’s hand on him, oh Jesus.

Luka loved hearing Charlie saying please. Charlie helpless made him feel powerful. He felt like he was the wolf, bounding over big rocks, to the top of a mountain. He needed to be in control. He needed…Charlie helpless, but Luka couldn’t be helpless, couldn’t give up control. But Charlie could. Charlie wanted to. Luka focused on Charlie’s strained expression, wanting to draw things out, make Charlie say that word again, please.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

38

“I can’t…” Charlie’s hands on Luka’s shoulders, fingers digging in. He didn’t try to fight for supremacy. He seemed to know that he belonged under Luka. “Please, Luka.” “Come,” Luka commanded him. “Come in my hand.” Ragged sound. Charlie’s neck arched as he came, hot and wet in Luka’s hand. His. Charlie wasn’t anything like all the other men Luka had serviced. Maybe it was the innocence shining in his eyes. It pulled at something in Luka, so he wanted to be gentle with Charlie. A pulse pounded frantically in Charlie’s neck. Luka wanted to bite him there, mark him. Charlie would be his. All his cries, all his needs, he’d have to bring them to Luka, submit to him. Luka shifted closer. Charlie’s eyes opened and Luka fell into them. “You liked it, you liked me?” Charlie’s eyes slowly cleared. He reddened. “Um.” “Taste.” Luka held out his hand, demanding proof that Charlie had liked what he’d done to him, damn it. For a moment he thought Charlie would pull away, but then he bent obediently to tentatively lick Luka’s fingers. “I made you come.” “Luka…” Charlie licked his lips, leaving them shiny. He wanted to kiss them again but Charlie got funny when they kissed. “What does it taste like?” Humour flickered through grey eyes. “Like I came, I guess. But you didn’t and…” Charlie ran a finger down Luka’s throbbing erection. He shuddered, at first liking it before fear spiked. “Don’t.” “But—” “I made you come. You’re mine.” Charlie frowned. “You don’t want me to please you?” Something black gripped Luka by the throat. “No.” For a long moment nothing was said between them. “Just don’t…” Luka was afraid that Charlie might ask what the fuck was wrong. And Luka couldn’t… He didn’t know what was wrong. It had felt so good, so hot, to make Charlie come, but he couldn’t let Charlie touch him. He was ugly, dirty. You’re not even good enough to piss on. Dempsy’s voice.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

39

Charlie reached out, this time not to touch Luka sensually, but merely to put an arm around his strung-tight shoulders. Luka quivered under that touch, then relaxed. “You’re right that I would let you inside me, Luka.” Charlie’s voice was a brush of a feather against Luka’s hurt. “Even knowing I’m just another lonely, pathetic guy you’ve captivated.” Luka felt like his heart was bleeding, something dark cutting into him as he tried to break free. “I shouldn’t want to make you do that. It’s ugly.” Another long pause as if Charlie was searching for what to say before he stroked Luka’s shoulder. No demands, just empathy. Energy moved through him, carried by his breath, by the places where they touched. Charlie wanted to find a way to heal him. “Was it hard to be around people tonight?” Charlie surprised Luka by asking. He slid away from the pain, blinking. “No, not so hard.” “I’m glad.” Charlie kept up the light touches, running his hands over Luka’s arms and leaving him more relaxed, like smoothing away wrinkles in sand. Luka felt that touch push against the grief locked up inside. He wanted to turn in Charlie’s arms, bury his face against his neck. “Sometimes things aren’t as bad as we think they will be. Sometimes they turn out all right. If…we give it time.” Swallowing thickly, Luka rasped, “You mean, if you and me ever—” “It was nice, when you were on top of me.” “Yeah.” It had been. Charlie seemed to accept Luka, all of him, all the confusion, the fear, the tiny bit of hope. “I want you to do one more pose for me. Can you manage that tonight?” Luka shrugged. “I guess.” “Thanks.” Charlie lifted a large square bolster and balanced it between Luka’s legs. “Let your forehead rest against that. Just try to fall into it…” Charlie’s voice caressed him and to his surprise, Luka came out of himself to realise he’d been sitting like this for some time. He felt calmer, rested. Charlie took the prop and put it away. “I’ll return these clothes like you wanted,” Luka said.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

40

Charlie was staring… Luka hadn’t pulled up his clothing, so he was still exposed, hard, throbbing, wanting desperately to rub himself off. His face heated. Charlie looked away. “I’ll be waiting in the truck.”

**** Charlie drove around the curve that began the switchback up his mountain. He didn’t look at Luka, but he was conscious of him. God, why had he done that, let Luka bring him off? It had felt so good at the time, and he’d been so needy. But from what Luka had implied, Charlie was just another man. He didn’t matter to Luka, not really. He hadn’t even let himself come with Charlie, though he’d been excited. “Luka, about you taking those clothes…” “I returned them!” “No, I know you did…” Charlie sighed. “You can have my dad’s clothes if you want. They’re in the bedroom I gave you. And I have an extra BlackBerry I can give you. I thought I’d lost it out in the woods but I hadn’t. Bought another one.” “You’re giving me…a berry?” Luka looked confused. Charlie smiled, anticipating how to teach Luka to use the phone. “I’m sure you’ll like it.” He cleared his throat and continued with something much harder to talk about. “Luka, I haven’t…slept with anyone in two years. Only thing I’ve done is pay a guy to, uh, jerk me off.” Charlie could see Luka’s frown in the rear view mirror and immediately looked away. “Sleeping with someone in my home…means something. I’d likely take it too much to heart.” He swallowed, vowing to do the right thing, make the offer. “What I told you stands. I need a hand with the reserve. It’s hard, lonely work and if you want to help out, I’ll pay you for it, on top of room and board. I even have a small cabin—” “No,” Luka said. His jaw tightened. “I won’t look at you, touch you, if you don’t want but I stay under your roof.” Charlie was surprised. He hadn’t wanted Luka to go either, but had figured a young man like Luka would jump at having his own space.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

41

“Okay then.” Charlie drove through the trees on the last leg of the trip. He felt a little better here, on his own ground. Luka rolled down the window, letting in the cool April air. Likely it wouldn’t snow again, now they were closer to May, but it was still chilly. “Stop the truck!” He grabbed the wheel and they skittered on the muddy road before coming to a halt inches from a tree trunk. “What the fu—” He was out of the vehicle, running ahead so the headlights shone on his rigid figure. He crouched, hands balled as he stared into the woods. Charlie leapt out after him, spooked. “What is it?” An icicle prodded his spine. Luka pointed at a bloodied thing lying on the side of the road. Sheba, his aging tiger. “No! God, no.” Before he could kneel beside her, Luka grabbed his arm, stopping him. “Let me go!” he choked. “She’s—” “You’re not thinking, Charlie.” Luka gave him a severe glance. “She could hurt you.” And Luka wouldn’t allow it. He was strong, surprisingly strong, so that Charlie couldn’t break his hold. Charlie looked at Luka, the significance hitting him in the gut. “She’s…alive?” Luka nodded. “Call your vet. I’m not sure…” He bent closer and the cat snarled, but she didn’t get up. Blood soaked the ground underneath her. Charlie’s throat tightened. Oh, Sheba… His hands shook as he hit speed dial and waited for what seemed like forever until Adrian answered, mellow Southern accent like a life rope. “Adrian, Sheba’s out of her cage. She’s hurt bad!” “I’ll come as soon as I… Uh, that is, Cody and I are coming. Is she conscious?” “Yeah, barely. We’ll need to put her out but she’s lost so much blood. Looks like a pack of animals took her on.” “Charlie, I know how fond you are of her, but she’s still dangerous. Are you being safe?” “I am.” Thanks to Luka. “Take the switchback to my place. We’re on the side of the road.” He cut the call and reluctantly returned to the truck for his gun. He swallowed hard, not sure he could use it if he had to. Sheba had only just been rescued from a life of abuse and Charlie ached for the animal. “I’ll do it if it comes to that, Charlie.” Luka took the gun and his hands were steady.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

42

Charlie sucked in a deep breath, steadying himself. He managed to nod at Luka’s kindness. “Thanks,” he rasped. “You saved me,” Luka said. He knelt close to the downed big cat, but not too close. “Now I’m going to keep you safe, no matter what.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

43

Chapter Seven

“Get away from him, Charlie!” Cody growled. He shot out of the passenger side of Adrian’s SUV to put himself between Charlie and Luka. Charlie blinked, staring at Adrian’s hired hand and, it was rumoured, also his lover. “Cody, what’s wrong?” Luka moved so fast Charlie barely registered it, shoving Charlie behind him, squaring off with Cody, his lips curling back from his teeth. “Charlie’s mine.” “There isn’t time for this now,” Adrian said impatiently. He strode past both men, ignoring their bizarre standoff. “Charlie.” Charlie nodded. “Adrian. Glad you’re here.” It was an understatement. “Luka spotted her. I have no idea how she got down here.” “Wolf.” Adrian pointed to some tracks. Cody stiffened, raising his head to look into the darkened forest while Luka, Charlie and Adrian crouched next to the unconscious Sheba. “But wolves couldn’t let her out of her pen,” Charlie said. “Only a human could do that.” Adrian’s lips pressed together. “Let’s focus. I’m going to give her something to put her out, then we’ll transport her back to the hospital on your reserve, Charlie, so I can examine her.” “Do you think you can save her, Adrian?” He felt Luka squeeze his shoulder, felt his understanding. “Charlie, it may not be in her best interest. You know that.” Charlie did know. “I’ll get the cart out of the back of the truck,” he said. “So we can move her.”

**** Hours later, Charlie sat with a mug of coffee cupped between his palms as he hunched over his kitchen table. Light was just hitting the tops of the trees, dawn finally breaking. He watched it with heavy eyes, not sure what the new day would bring.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

44

“That coffee’s gone cold, Charlie,” Luka said gently. He took the mug, dumped it in the sink and poured out some more, handing Charlie a fresh cup. He rubbed his jaw, hearing the rasp of his whiskers. “I should check the other habitats.” “I did that last night,” Luka said. “Why don’t you get some rest after you talk to Adrian and I’ll do it again? You did say you wanted to hire me on.” Seeing concern in the green eyes, Charlie managed a smile for Luka. He’d been up just as long, refused to go to bed or leave Charlie’s side except when he’d checked on the animals. “I can’t ask you to do that. It’s feeding time, for one thing.” “Okay, show me the ropes, boss.” Luka’s voice lowered, became intimate. They were so close, Charlie found himself aching for a kiss, for the solace it would bring, for the burn of passion he felt for beautiful and mysterious Luka. He cleared his throat instead, settling for coffee. The way Luka stared at him, unwavering, made him feel shy. “Cody hasn’t left all night,” he said, reaching back to rub tight muscles in his neck. Luka stiffened. “No.” “He doesn’t seem very friendly.” “He doesn’t trust me with you.” Charlie opened his mouth to ask why when he heard a brief knock on his cabin door. A clearly exhausted Adrian entered, with Cody right behind him. He gave Luka a narrow look. Adrian sighed, as if he wasn’t oblivious to the dynamics, but he was too tired to deal with it. Charlie could relate. “Well?” he asked. “I cleaned her wounds, stitched them up. And…I don’t know, Charlie. She’s going to be in a lot of pain. She might be all right, but a lot depends on you. She’s going to need a lot of care.” “She’ll have it,” Luka said. “I’m not sure you should let Luka stay with you, Charlie,” Cody said, crossing his arms. “He’s damaged. He doesn’t know how to be around people.” Luka swallowed but didn’t deny it. His gaze fell from Charlie’s and colour touched his cheeks. Charlie came to his feet. “He stays.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

45

**** “I tried to hurt someone,” Luka told Charlie as they poured fresh water for a lame cougar who had lived on the reserve for a few years. Charlie didn’t respond. Luka knew him well enough now to realise that Charlie liked to think before he spoke. Finally he said, “I find it hard to believe, you hurting anyone. You were scared of your own shadow when I found you.” Luka flushed, but it was true. “I wasn’t…right. I don’t remember much but I thought I’d found my mate. I thought…he’ll keep me safe if I can only make him mine.” Charlie rubbed the back of his neck. “Sounds mixed up.” “Yeah.” “When I found you, you were in bad shape.” Luka didn’t say anything. “Someone hurt you. That scar on your cheek…” Luka dipped his head so his hair covered it. “Yeah, ugly. I know. It’s supposed to be.” “Pisses me off.” Luka smiled. “You just want to take care of me, like your other lost causes.” He nodded at the rows of habitats. “But they aren’t lost anymore. I found them. I keep them safe.” They reached Sheba’s empty pen. Charlie touched the fence where a curl of metal had been yanked free. He shook his head. “What did this? It’s like a grizzly bear mangled it.” Luka could smell blood on the grass. Shifters. One had opened the cage. Then they’d gone after the elderly cat, chasing her from the sanctuary Charlie had given her. “I’m sorry,” he said. Startled grey eyes captured his. “This is not your doing.” Luka dropped his gaze. He couldn’t do the right thing and leave. Cody was right. Luka wasn’t worthy of being around someone like Charlie, but still he couldn’t leave. Finding Sheba on the road that way had been a message. They had come for Charlie’s beloved cat. Charlie would be next.

****

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

46

“It might be a good idea to set up an alarm system.” Adrian opened the door of his SUV and got in. “I know that up here you haven’t had to use anything elaborate before, other than on the pen doors.” “I’ll look into it.” Charlie said. After staring pointedly at Luka for a long moment, Cody climbed in beside the vet. “I’ll be back after I handle my other patients,” Adrian said. “If anything changes, call me right away, but I think you can leave Sheba with that volunteer monitoring her while you get some rest. She should be sleeping for a while.” Charlie nodded, grateful. Adrian was a good man and even Cody had been helpful, spending almost as much time as Luka had examining the ruined fence and exploring the nearby woods, although he was still watchful around Luka. After they drove off, a heavy, expectant silence fell between Luka and Charlie. “I’m going to run a bath for you,” Luka said, hands on his hips. “Yes sir.” “Damn straight. You look like shit, Charlie. You’re no good to Sheba or any of your animals until you get some sleep.” “I feel like shit.” His bones ached. And every time he thought about Sheba, his eyes stung. He’d always been too tender-hearted about his animals. “I have to write this up and report it.” “It wasn’t your fault.” “It doesn’t matter. This is my land and I’m responsible. Some of the ranchers nearby aren’t thrilled with the animals I protect. They won’t be happy to know a tiger got free and I can’t say I blame them.”

Back inside the cabin, he heard the sound of bath water running and became aware Luka was up in the loft, preparing a bath for him. He put his hand on the stair rail, hesitating. Luka appeared at the top of the staircase. “I was going to leave, Charlie, I swear. Even wanting the job, I knew sooner or later, I’d have to go.” Charlie frowned. “But I like you here, under my roof.” “You’ll want me gone as soon as you know what I am.” Now he was just plain annoyed with all the cryptic vibe from Cody and Luka and even Adrian. He hadn’t enough sleep for this shit!

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

47

“Tell me.” Luka swallowed and then tugged up his T-shirt. Had he tapped into Charlie’s fantasies about sharing the tub with him? Then Luka turned around, displaying his back. The crease from a bullet was gone. The bruises and scratches were gone. Just golden skin. “That’s…” Not possible. Still in his boots, Charlie clomped up the stairs and laid his palm over the centre of Luka’s back. His fingertips registered warm, silky skin. Luka inhaled sharply and looked over his shoulder at Charlie, shame and something hot burning in his green eyes. “I love your hand on me.” Charlie yanked it away, blushing. “You were dying when I pulled you out of the snow.” Luka nodded, turning to face Charlie. They stood close together, on the brink of entering Charlie’s bedroom. And from the pounding of his pulse, they also stood on the brink of something more. “But you recovered so fast, eating, talking.” “That’s because I’m not human, Charlie.” Luka’s nostrils flared. “You know. Somehow you know that.” Charlie shook his head. “Folk tales. I’ve heard them for years about half-men, halfwolves in the mountains.” Luka recaptured Charlie’s hand, put it against his heart so he could feel it pumping. “Not a folk tale. I’m real and I want you.” “Me? You made it clear you’ve had lots of guys like me.” “No one like you.” Luka’s gaze dropped. “I didn’t say it right.” “Luka—” “I don’t know what I have to offer you and I’ve never made love to anyone,” Luka said. “When I look in your eyes, I feel like a good man.” Charlie knew soon they’d have to talk about the bombshell Luka had dropped but right now he needed… “When I look in your eyes, I feel like a sexy man.” Luka’s mouth captured his. “Ah…” He moaned and was tugged close to Luka, his erection rubbing against an answering hardness as their bodies collided. He was clinging to Luka, ready to come.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

48

“You’re so excited,” Luka murmured against his lips between hot kisses. “I could make you hump my leg to get your relief.” Charlie’s eyes widened and he blushed. But the idea turned him on, rubbing himself off on Luka. “You smell like cedar and earth,” he said, nuzzling close. Luka cupped his hard-on, squeezing possessively so that Charlie thrust into his hand. “Mine,” he said. “Yes.” He couldn’t deny it. He was Luka’s for as long as the young, beautiful man wanted him. “All yours.” “I want you.” Luka chewed his bottom lip. “But first, you should have that bath and maybe a nap.” Charlie sure as shit didn’t feel tired and defeated now. He watched as Luka went to the edge of the bed and sat, making it clear he was going to watch Charlie bathe. God, that was hot. And intimidating. When Charlie didn’t immediately answer the silent summons, Luka raised a dark brow. “I’m not much to see,” he said, removing his T-shirt. “Just your average cowboy.” “I disagree.” Luka sat back on his elbows, his legs wide so his erection was clearly outlined. Charlie licked his lips, wondering what Luka would make him do. Suck him off, or grab his ankles?

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

49

Chapter Eight

Luka pushed his hair out of his eyes, knowing he’d have to talk to Charlie, but talking wasn’t easy for him. He much preferred action. He held Charlie’s gaze. “I might not be able to take it, letting you inside. I need to be in control. I figured out in the yoga place that I was okay as long as I had control.” Charlie paused in unbuttoning his jeans. “I know you like it. I…like it too.” He blushed at the admission. Luka studied him. “You always liked men in control?” He suddenly hated the idea that Charlie had ever let any other man own him this way. “No! I mean…strictly fantasy before you.” Okay. That was better. He didn’t like the idea of Charlie to submitting to anyone else. “When we do it, I need to take the lead.” Luka waited, as if knowing how hard he was testing Charlie. Probably he’d say no and why not? Luka was no prize. He was scarred, a monster. Charlie blinked. “I’ve never done anything really kinky,” he said. Luka looked away. “You don’t have to.” “Probably because I didn’t have much opportunity. It’s not like in my head I’m not kinky,” Charlie said. Luka wanted to know more. “What do you like?” Charlie rubbed his eyebrow. “Um. I guess I like the idea of being tied up.” Luka watched Charlie, but he didn’t share more as if talking about this wasn’t easy for him either. “Do you want me to tie you up, Charlie?” Charlie looked down, face red, but nodded after a moment. Luka’s eyes narrowed as he began to visualise it. “One thing I need to know.” “What?” “Will I turn into some kind of wolf man if I have sex with you?” Luka looked up to see humour in Charlie’s grey eyes. Charlie accepted him? “Nope.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

50

“Get mad and grow huge muscles at the supermarket? Because that could be embarrassing, as well as hard to explain.” Luka laughed. “Nope.” “Good to know.” “You’re already a healer, Charlie,” Luka said, smiling. “You have powers.” “Powers?” Luka shrugged. “I see something when you touch people, when you work with Sheba. A blue light around you.”

Charlie shook his head. “Okay, I can accept that I’m having some kind of thing with a…wolf man, given all the stories I grew up hearing around here but powers? I don’t think so.” He turned his back and shoved down his boxers but then jumped when a warm hand ran down his spine to cup one ass cheek. He groaned at the sensual feel of Luka’s touch, his head falling back. “You’re very powerful but you don’t use it to hurt.” Luka’s voice softened. “You never use it to hurt.” Charlie’s eyes stung. Luka. What happened to you? He was getting hard. He figured Luka noticed since he took him in hand, stroking Charlie’s hot, needy length. “How can you not be a healer when I want to do this, take hold of another man’s dick?” Luka nuzzled him. “You’re not making me do this, I want to do this.” “Why shouldn’t you want this?” “Because sex is…” Luka’s face hardened. “Ugly.” Oh, Luka. Charlie swallowed. “Stop then. I don’t want ugly for you. I just want you to be free.” Even if it meant Luka never touching him again. “But…you’re never ugly. How you love it. How you want me. Not ugly, Charlie.” He trembled under Luka’s touch. “I’m going to come in your hand.” “Do it,” Luka breathed. He sounded excited, so excited and he was panting, breath hot against Charlie’s skin, his body warm, hard, enclosing Charlie in a kind of mystical strength. Charlie had sensed something…different the first time Luka’s eyes had opened, when he’d been captivated by that feral green gaze. “Come for me.” Luka jerked Charlie’s shaft.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

51

Charlie grabbed Luka’s thighs, holding on, leaving his cock totally in Luka’s possession. “Jesus!” he hissed. They needed to talk, not that it was his favourite thing, but damn, Luka had thrown a lot his way, but right now all he could do was hold his ground and let Luka take him over. “You want to come for me, don’t you?” Luka taunted him, drawing it out, his thumb slick with Charlie’s pre-cum. “I can hardly stop myself!” Luka laughed. “Oh, Luka…Oh, fuck!” His hips pistoning, his body on autopilot, hot rush of sensation, Luka mastering him, giving him what he needed, perfect— “Come now,” Luka said. Charlie whimpered as hot seed spilled, filling Luka’s hand, dripping from his cock, Charlie giving Luka everything. “Now that was hot,” Luka said, sounding a little surprised. “Oh…yeah…” He was dizzy. He leant against Luka and Luka was strong, protective, holding him with more assurance. “Want a taste?” Luka rubbed a finger wet with Charlie’s spend against his bottom lip and Charlie licked that finger. “That’ll be my jizz next time, Charlie. I’ll fill your mouth.”

**** Even after what they’d shared, Charlie bashfully cupped a hand over his dick when he got in the tub, sitting with his knees up. He’d never had anyone up here when he’d taken a bath, except when he was sixteen and he had appendicitis and his dad carried him from the tub to the local hospital. “I like to watch you.” Luka had knelt beside him. His face wasn’t hard now, like chipped granite in the heights but soft, open. “I think you’re adorable, like one of the women in yoga class said. I think you are, Charlie.” “Gah, don’t remind me!” Charlie reddened. But being with Luka now, like this… It was almost worth being called ‘adorable.’ Then he couldn’t stop himself from demanding, “Who hurt you, damn it? Who hurt you because I want to rip out his guts.” Luka’s face closed. He averted it, as if instinctively needing to hide the scar.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

52

Charlie sat up and water splashed over the side. He gripped Luka’s chin. “Let’s start with why you have this scar when you healed so easy from the bullet wound in your back. Doesn’t add up, Luka.” Luka still wouldn’t meet his gaze. He swallowed. “Silver,” he said in a husky voice. “Huh?” Charlie ran a light fingertip over the old mark. Luka shuddered under his touch. “He burned me with a silver knife. That’s how the pack marks their slaves.” Charlie stared. “Jesus.” Luka looked at him. “I’m not like you, innocent…I’ve been with men and women. I’ve been a toy, Charlie.” Wounded wolf. Charlie recognised the look. He’d seen it on animals he’d rescued. “You’re no man’s toy, Luka,” Charlie said. “You hear me?” He was fighting to keep his tone gentle. He wanted to smash something. When Luka didn’t immediately respond Charlie sucked in a breath at a sudden realisation. “Oh, shit. Sheba…” Luka nodded. “They found me, the pack I escaped from. They found me and they hurt your cat as a message to me.” “Let me guess,” Charlie ground out. “Come back or else.” Luka turned to face him. “If I thought they’d leave you alone, I’d go back to them, but they know. Somehow they already know what you are to me.” Charlie blinked. “Your boyfriend?” “My mate.” “Oh.” Luka picked up the bar of sandalwood soap. While Charlie sat, processing, he washed Charlie’s shoulders, his arms, down to his fingers which Luka stroked, over and over, so Charlie began to wonder why he’d never realised his hands were an erogenous zone. He allowed Luka to push him back so he could wash his hair. He closed his eyes at the feel of strong hands massaging his scalp. “I should be doing this for you after what you told me. Some healer.” “No.” Luka’s smile shone in his voice. “Don’t you see? I like takin’ care of you. Makes me feel good, takin’ care of someone.” “How can I be your mate, Luka?” Charlie shifted restlessly in the tub, sloshing more water. “I’m just some guy who found you.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

53

Luka frowned. “I don’t know how it works, but you’re it for me.” “Because I was nice to you?” His eyes popped open. He hated the idea that Luka might like him because he’d been broken, not because he chose Charlie. “You’re the one.” Luka glared at him. He got to his feet and the look in his eyes almost made Charlie back down. Whoa. Luka could be intimidating. When had that happened? Charlie left it. He knew Luka was telling the truth about what he was, but he found it hard to believe. Harder to believe was this mate business. Cody had been right about Luka being damaged. Who knew what he’d want once he had healed? Charlie would have to set Luka free so he could find out. “What are you thinking?” Luka demanded. “That the water’s getting damned cold.” He climbed out, still a little shy under Luka’s stare. Luka picked up one of Charlie’s old beach towels, his preference after a bath and rubbed him briskly dry, another surprise. “Get into bed. It’s still chilly. And you’re all washed out.” Exhaustion hit him. “Sheba, my animals…” “I’ll stand watch. They never would have got close if I’d been here, Charlie,” Luka said. Charlie made it to the bed, groaning at the cool shelter of his sheets as he stretched out. “Just for a little while,” he mumbled.

He opened his eyes again just past dawn. He watched drips from the last of the snow falling from the peak of his roof as the events of the previous day hit him. He shook his head. Too much to think about now except… He spotted Luka curled up asleep on the coiled rag rug beside his wooden four poster. Charlie stared, mesmerised. Luka’s long hair was a cloak of silk, so enticing that Charlie couldn’t resist reaching out and stroking it off one bare, muscled shoulder. Luka’s eyes snapped open and Charlie was captivated by wild green. “Just what are you doin’ on my floor?” Charlie asked. “Why didn’t you use the bed? Plenty of room.” “I’m rusty with sleeping in a bed,” Luka said, colour touching his cheeks the way it had when he’d first had trouble using cutlery. “Oh.” Charlie frowned. “Well, hop on up. It’s time to get unrusty.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

54

Luka studied him and then stood, stretching. He was wearing only jeans which hung low over the bones of his hips, revealing the curls of his pubic hair. His chest was smooth, enticing a sleepy Charlie to wish he could stroke the skin. Like petting a tiger. Luka went around the bed and lay down on the opposite side. “Okay?” Charlie asked, already feeling sleepy again. “I’m not sure I can relax.” Luka was stiff. Charlie reached out and stroked the inside Luka’s arm. Just that. No demands. Luka looked at him and Charlie’s breath caught. “What?” “I like looking at you too,” Charlie said. Then he passed on the thought he’d had as he’d watched the melt fall from the roof. “You don’t have to live with that scar.” Luka averted his eyes. Charlie sighed out an exasperated breath. Maybe first thing in the morning wasn’t the time to get into this. “I just mean that you have options. Like plastic surgery.” Luka’s gaze snapped back to Charlie’s face. “You think something like that would work on me?” “No idea, but we can ask Adrian’s advice maybe.” Charlie closed his eyes and forced himself to relax, focus on his breathing like he was doing yoga. After a while, as if by example, Luka settled.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

55

Chapter Nine

“I think she’s doing very well,” Adrian told Charlie two weeks later. “But you look like you haven’t had much sleep.” Charlie grimaced. “Easy to tell, huh?” Adrian nodded. “I’ve done a few long vigils over animals I’ve cared about before.” “I thought I’d lose her,” Charlie sighed. He rubbed the back of his neck, still stiff from watching Sheba the night before. “You still might, Charlie. She’s an elderly animal.” “I know. I guess I’m just not good at giving in.” “That’s what makes you an exceptional healer to these animals.” Adrian put his bag in his SUV. “Healer. That’s what Luka calls me.” Charlie shook his head at the idea. “You’re the healer, Adrian. Thanks for helping Sheba.” Adrian looked up at the bluff that rose above Charlie’s spread. Luka was sitting on a massive granite slab, arms wrapped around his knees, cowboy hat low over his face. “He’s still here,” Adrian said. “Cody was sure he’d have left by now.” “Cody doesn’t know shit about him.” Charlie growled. “Luka’s…exasperating. But he’s a good hand. I just wish he wasn’t wearing himself out watching this place.” Adrian raised a brow. “Are you sure it’s just the nature sanctuary he cares about, Charlie?” Charlie coloured and Adrian laughed. “Thought so. For what it’s worth, I think you and Luka could be good for each other.” “He’s been avoiding me for days,” Charlie said. “I think you overestimate my charm.” “Avoiding you? Cody avoided me once upon a time. I’d say that’s telling.” Adrian got into his vehicle and pulled out to head for the switchback down Charlie’s mountain. “Adrian’s right. You could use some sleep, Charlie.” Charlie jumped, even though it wasn’t the first time Luka had moved that fast, sneaking up on Charlie easily.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

56

“How can I when I’m so fucking worried about you?” Charlie asked, the words just spilling out, raw. Luka took a step back, clearly astonished at the idea anyone could worry about him. Charlie watched him, aching. Since he couldn’t think of what to say, he headed towards the house. Luka stalked after him. “You shouldn’t worry about me.” “Why, because you’re not worth it? I disagree.” His fists balled so he had to order himself to relax. His anger would probably only drive Luka further into his shell, but Charlie was sick of being patient, sick of giving Luka space. “If I want to worry about you, I’m damn well going to do that. You’re welcome to head back up into the hills if it bothers you.” He slammed the screen door behind him but Luka caught it easily, closed it gently as he followed Charlie inside. He headed to the great room and began to build a fire in the hearth. Luka knelt beside him, giving him a wary look. “You just don’t get it, do you?” Charlie snapped kindling in his hands, still pissed. “I look at you and I want to see you live the life you were meant to live. Free, happy.” “I’m not Sheba.” “Apparently my heart doesn’t get the difference.” Charlie shrugged. “You think I don’t worry about this ex pack of yours hurting you?” He didn’t add he kept his rifle by his bedside. If they came for Luka, Charlie was going to have something to say about it. Luka’s forehead wrinkled as if he was trying to work something out. “But…I brought all this on you. It’s my fault Sheba was hurt.” Charlie dropped the kindling in the hearth and reached out to cup Luka’s cheek, deliberately choosing the scarred one. “No, Luka. It’s the fault of the sick bastards who hurt an old cat, not you.” Luka swallowed, looking down. “I thought… You need time. You didn’t ask for any of this shit, all you did was try to help me. You had no idea what I was.” “It wouldn’t have made any difference,” Charlie said, returning to laying out the wood he’d gathered. “Except I miss you lately.” “Could have fooled me. You’re pretty cranky.” Luka pulled his knees to his chest, relaxing beside Charlie.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

57

He started the fire and used the bellows to encourage it before settling next to Luka. “Haven’t had a lot of sleep.” “Worrying about Sheba.” “Yes.” “And…me.” “Oh, yeah, worrying about you.” Charlie had to look away as heat touched his cheekbones. “And wanting you. Pathetic.” “You’re not pathetic.” “Look, I have a mirror and a calendar. I’m a plain, ordinary cowboy and I’ve got a few years on you.” “You don’t see yourself.” “Says you.” Luka blinked, then sucked in a breath. “They treated me like shit. For years, Charlie. I can’t just—” “I know.” Charlie swallowed, gentled his voice. “You’re right. I’m sorry I’m so edgy. I guess we both need time.” He heard Luka breathing, felt his warmth and soaked up his closeness. “This is nice,” Luka said. “Yeah. Where have you been sleepin’?” Charlie tried not to resent that it hadn’t been anywhere near him since that one morning they’d shared a bed. Maybe sleeping next to him had turned Luka off. He had no idea. “On the bluff most nights. I can keep an eye on both the habitats and your cabin that way.” Charlie nodded. “If I brought a sleeping bag up there, would you mind?” Luka studied him. “You don’t have to. I work for you now, remember? It’s my job.” “It’s not your job to protect me. I’ve been taking care of myself for years. Remember who rescued you?” Luka’s lips quirked. “Point taken. But I don’t think you know what wolf shifters are capable of, Charlie.” Charlie mulled over that. “You’re right. I’ve studied all the animals in the habitats. I guess you’ll have to educate me.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

58

Luka chewed his bottom lip, reddening it so that Charlie wished he could press a kiss against it. Some of the heat he was feeling must have shown in his eyes because Luka scooted closer. “I stayed away because if I sleep too close to you, I’m going to fuck you,” Luka said in a husky voice. Whoa. Charlie sat rigid. Luka shifted even closer, nuzzling him. “Careful,” he whispered. “I can smell how you want it.” “Fuck yeah, I want it.” Charlie’s heart was thundering like an unbroken stallion. Luka kissed him and Charlie moaned, trembling, brought to the edge so easily. “Mine,” Luka said, covering Charlie’s straining erection through his jeans with one possessive hand. He squeezed and Charlie whimpered. “However you want me,” Charlie said, hands threading desperately through Luka’s long, sexy hair. He buried his face in it, loving this closeness after days and nights of emptiness. “Whenever you want me.” “Now.” Luka grabbed Charlie’s wrist, pulling him to his feet. He was conscious of the overloud sound of their boots ringing impatient tattoos as they crossed the space of the great room and headed up to the loft. It seemed to give extra emphasis to the moment. Luka pushed Charlie onto his bed. “Everything off. Now.” Charlie swallowed, a little intimidated before he saw uncertainty flash in Luka’s eyes. He seemed to be naturally dominant, but he carried a corrosive lack of self-worth. If he thought Charlie was rejecting him, he’d stay away again and it was the last thing Charlie wanted. To counteract his brief moment of hesitation, Charlie slipped off the bed and knelt in front of Luka, pressing an ardent kiss against his erection through his jeans. Luka hissed in a breath. “You want it?” “Yeah.” Charlie’s insomnia had been as much aching for Luka to fill him, to take him, as his worry for the future. He’d never had a man before, but once he got used to the idea, he wanted Luka. “I like you on your knees for me,” Luka told him.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

59

Charlie blushed but… It felt right, though undressing while kneeling was a little awkward. He wasn’t used to it. He started with his boots, tugging them off while Luka watched. Charlie unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down along with his boxers with shaking fingers, aware of his cock, curving needy towards his stomach, already wet with pre-cum. When Luka’s booted foot brushed his thigh, Charlie jumped. Then he froze and allowed Luka to nudge him, brushing his penis with that boot, a display of complete ownership. Charlie whimpered, wanting to wrap himself around one of Luka’s legs, to beg him to get him off. “You’ll let me do anything to you,” Luka said, wonder in his voice. Charlie looked up into his heavy-lidded eyes, at the feral light burning there. “Yes.” “T-shirt off.” Charlie obeyed, removing it. Lacking another command, he knelt, waiting. His heartbeat pounded and he licked dry lips. “Put your mouth on me again. I liked that.” Charlie wanted that also. He gave a thready sound as he mouthed Luka through denim, opening his mouth and sucking on the hard shape of him. Luka made him do that for a long space of time, kissing, licking and sucking him through his jeans. He put a hand on Charlie’s head, guiding him to the head of his cock. Charlie sucked hardest there, hearing Luka’s rough breathing, knowing he was pleasing him. “Do you have any toys?” For a moment Charlie couldn’t process the question, so lost in doing what he’d been commanded. He looked up and nodded, swallowing. “Show me.” Charlie opened his bedside drawer. The position offered his buttocks up for Luka’s touch. He stroked Charlie’s ass and he shivered, so excited now he thought he might come from that alone. Not knowing what exactly Luka had in mind, Charlie left the drawer open and watched Luka’s face as he studied its contents. He picked up a thick butt plug and some lube. “You put this in you and jack off?” Unable to speak, Charlie nodded. “Up on the bed. Face the headboard on your hands and knees.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

60

He heard the rustle of material and looked over his shoulder to see Luka had picked up his T-shirt and jeans. He frowned, wondering. Luka placed the toy and lube on the mattress. “You fond of this T-shirt?” “Uh, no.” A second later Charlie heard the sound of tearing cloth. Luka took Charlie’s wrist, wrapping part of the T-shirt around it. He tugged it close to the headboard and tied it there before using the other half of the T-shirt to secure his other wrist. Bound, Charlie trembled. This was even better than what he’d fantasised about because it was Luka’s firm hands on his body, it was Luka looking into his eyes, cementing that Charlie was helpless, lying there for his pleasure…which only intensified Charlie’s sensations. Oh, fuck, to be handled like this, like a sexy pet. Goosebumps broke out over his chest. “You all right with this?” Luka asked him, a little shyness showing in his eyes now as well as green fire. “It’s perfect.” “Yeah, it is.” Luka again ran a hand over Charlie’s ass, encouraging him to separate his legs wide so he was completely exposed. The mattress depressed before something rough and cool touched his open thighs. His breath caught as he saw Luka was using his boot again, rubbing it against Charlie’s bare, vulnerable body, as if marking him. Luka grazed his heavy hanging cock and Charlie moaned. “Under me. You know you belong there,” Luka said. “Yes.” “I want you to come for me.” Luka nudged him again. The thought of how he was bound, of how his body was open and Luka was using his dusty boots on him was too much for Charlie. Oh, shit, cowboy boots! He’d never considered how the mild sting of humiliation could be such a turn on, how the feel of the leather, something he’d worn and taken for granted all his life could be used on him this way, to underline he was a slut, a cowboy’s sexy slut. Luka’s hand ringed the back of Charlie’s neck, pressing his head down. “Come now, Charlie.” “Luka!” Charlie shot, spilling on his bed, hot and wanton, completely owned by Luka.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

61

Chapter Ten

Panting, he lived for the feel of Luka stroking his back, over and over again, soothing him, but still owning him, as though pleased with the way his pet had performed. Charlie grinned a little at that thought. A man’s sexy pet, when he’d always figured he’d have only hurried pedestrian encounters he’d purchased. “You like who you are with me,” Luka said. “Fuck, yeah,” Charlie said, not holding back his enjoyment. “I…like who I am with you.” Charlie looked over his shoulder at Luka. “It’s who you are. I knew it the first time you opened your eyes out in the snow that day. Feral, wild.” “Wild for you.” Luka pressed himself against Charlie’s ass. Charlie could feel the swollen imprint of Luka’s erection against him. He rubbed himself against Luka and saw the flare in his eyes as he enjoyed the friction they made together. “I told you.” He swallowed. “Any way you want me.” “I want you now. I want to do you, make you come again.” Luka’s hand touched him lightly, finding him beginning to stiffen. “Looks like it won’t be too hard.” “Oh, it’ll be very hard,” Charlie quipped. Luka smacked his ass. “Spread your legs wider for me.” Charlie’s heart jumped. He obeyed, liking the heat spreading in a handprint on his rear end. Putting Luka in the driver’s seat turned out to be a good thing, on a lot of levels. Luka spread lube over the butt plug generously and then looked at Charlie. “How often do you put it in?” he asked softly. “Um…a lot lately.” Charlie flushed. “Thinking of me?” “Yeah.” Luka placed it at Charlie’s entrance and then without further delay pushed it in, slow and steady. “Fuck…” Charlie groaned, filled, trembling. Luka played with it, manipulating Charlie. He hissed with pleasure.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

62

“That’s where it feels good,” Luka said. “Yes!” Luka gripped him again, working him up and down as Charlie moaned, his hands fisting above his bonds. “Please…” “Not yet.” Another smack on the ass. “You like that? I can smell it.” “I…yes.” Charlie ducked his head, a little embarrassed by his desires. “Don’t,” Luka said. “I want you to show me, tell me, what you like. I need it, Charlie.” Luka needed his vulnerability, Charlie knew. He looked over his shoulder, held Luka’s gaze. “I want you to spank me. I’ve never, uh… I never thought I’d get to experience something like that.” Luka rubbed Charlie’s ass. “I’ve never spanked anyone but I want to spank you.” “Yes.” God, yes! His spike of excitement must have translated because next thing Luka was kneeling behind him. “Ask me.” Beg for it, Luka’s strong grip on his cock seemed to say. “Please… Luka, spank me. I want to know what’s like. I want to feel it, to be the man someone would want to spank.” To revel in feeling sexy for the first time in his life. Luka swatted him and Charlie inhaled sharply. It wasn’t so much the smack, but the idea of being spanked that played him, got him horny as hell. “More.” Luka gave him more, smoothing Charlie’s cock in one hand, up and down, possessing him, while he struck him calmly with the other, reddening his ass. In the mirror across the loft, Charlie glimpsed himself, glimpsed them, and couldn’t believe he had this beautiful man with him, helping him act out fantasies he’d buried deep, never thought he’d unearth. “You’re close,” Luka said. He pushed the plug in deeper. Charlie swore, stiffening. “Yes.” Luka moved around him, fitting himself between Charlie and the headboard. Charlie watched him, body on edge. Luka unzipped himself and took Charlie’s head in his hand, snaring his fingers in Charlie’s hair. “I was always told only a dirty boy sucked cock,” he said softly. “But you…it makes me hot to make you my dirty boy.” He rubbed his penis against Charlie’s lips, smearing them with pre-cum.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

63

Charlie opened his mouth, taking Luka’s cock, moaning his approval. Luka was long and elegant, uncut. Charlie wanted every inch, eager to taste, to suck. He revelled in being topped so completely when Luka held his head and began to fuck his mouth, shallowly thrusting in and out. “Dirty boy,” Luka said and the name didn’t seem ugly, the way it must have in Luka’s past. Charlie could tell Luka was seeing this act in a new way. “I’m going to come on your face.” Charlie moaned, tormented. He was so excited again. This side of Luka was everything Charlie had ever needed and he’d had no idea. Now that he belonged to Luka, for however long he’d want a plain and ordinary guy, Charlie was desperate to surrender everything. Luka thrust in and out, harder now so that Charlie gagged, but he loved even that and he guessed Luka also knew, that his super keen senses were telling him how much Charlie loved what they were doing. “I’m ready to come on you,” Luka growled. “You better come for me. I want to smell it. I want it splashed all over this bed.” “Come on me,” Charlie begged, licking Luka’s cock desperately. Though untouched, Charlie’s rod was swollen and pulsing between his legs. Luka thrust against his lips. His face tightened and hot spend hit Charlie, marking him, dripping from his open mouth. “Gonna shoot in there since you want my jizz so much.” Luka groaned, holding his cock and pointing it at Charlie’s lips. Charlie licked and swallowed, totally Luka’s sexy toy. “Fuck!” Luka sent more hot liquid into Charlie’s eager mouth. He sagged over Charlie, panting, allowing Charlie to lick his penis clean. “You didn’t come yet,” Luka finally whispered. “I need your boot on me again. God, I never imagined I’d even want something like that, but it’s hot, so hot when you use it on me.” Luka watched him out of sleepy, satisfied green eyes and Charlie waited, suspended, knowing Luka would decide when and how he would come. Silently Luka pulled back and in the narrow space managed to tug off one cowboy boot. Charlie watched, wide-eyed, his imagination on overtime as his body ached for relief. “Lift your ass.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

64

Charlie obeyed, looking over his shoulder at the mirror on the wall, seeing Luka position himself behind Charlie. Luka brought the boot down on Charlie’s ass, spanking him with it. “Ah!” It stung, but it also felt raw, hot, right. “Sometime I’m going to put my boot over your neck and you’ll come in the dirt for me,” Luka said. “You won’t be able to help yourself.” “Yes.” God, would he come if Luka did that to him. He loved him. He loved him wild. He loved him like this, toppy and tormenting Charlie, showing him that he came only when Luka allowed it. “This what you need?” The boot grazed his balls, then his aching cock. “Yeah…” He humped the boot, thrusting himself shamelessly against it as Luka held it. “Fuck yourself on it, so hot to watch you.” Charlie’s balls tightened, the muscles in his ass contracting around the butt plug. “Luka, please.” “Come.” He shot, untamed as Luka. He shot all over the cowboy boot, marking his wolf in his own way. Afterwards, Charlie was limp with pleasure, sleepy. Quiet but gentle, Luka pulled out the butt plug and pushed inside Charlie slowly. He couldn’t come, not so soon, but he hissed at the burn and let Luka take him. Luka thrust in and out, an easy pace, as if he was determined to enjoy fucking Charlie as long as possible. Charlie just breathed, limp and relaxed. He liked being Luka’s pet. Before Luka, Charlie’s love life had been practically nonexistent. He felt like a garden that had had no rain for a long time. Now it had come and he wanted to soak up Luka’s loving, absorb it into himself. Luka’s cock hit Charlie’s prostate and he stiffened, feeling vibrating through him as Luka played him. It happened again, and often enough so that Charlie began to press up, silently asking for more but Luka set the pace, his hand cupping the back of Charlie’s neck, holding him steady. “Touch my cock. Please.” “You need this pretty bad.” This was Luka’s cock, which he thrust in deep for emphasis.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

65

“Yeah, need it…” Luka’s hand found Charlie’s dick, touching him lightly, stoking his fire. He wanted it hot and hard, but he was Luka’s possession, his body held steady, quivering at the impact of every thrust. He saw them in the mirror again, rutting, saw the sweat on his face, the way his hair tangled around his forehead and Luka behind him, incandescent, the man, the wolf he was meant to be. Luka rose, hands on Charlie’s hips, pounding him. “You’re going to come for me again.” He thought he’d die if he did. Too much. He had been satisfied with letting Luka find his pleasure but Luka demanded everything, demanded Charlie give himself completely. “I don’t know if I can,” Charlie rasped. Luka smacked his ass and he flashed to completion, coming just like that. His orgasm was almost painful, dying and waking up in Luka’s arms.

“I feel like I was run over by a posse of wild horses.” Charlie groaned. He was lying on top of Luka, their bodies still damp, sticky, perfect. Charlie luxuriated. He’d never had a lover in his loft before. Luka held him, touching Charlie’s skin, sniffing him, as if he’d never had a lover either, whatever his experience. “You do get wild when you want your pleasure,” Luka said with a slight grin. “It’s a good thing I’m a shifter, so I can please my man.” “If you pleased me anymore, you’d have to bury me out back.” Luka laughed, the sound still a little on the shaky side, but something that made Charlie smile when he heard it. “So does this mean I’m invited to camp outdoors with you?” Charlie asked. “You’ll have an interrupted night on account I can’t sleep near you and not have you.” “Oh, I’ll definitely stay away then.” “Asshole.” Luka laughed again and they wrestled on the bed, for no reason Charlie could think of, just that it felt good, matching his body against Luka’s. Luka won, of course, but he gave Charlie some deep, drugging kisses in victory so Charlie didn’t mind so much. “I feel like Lois Lane with Superman,” he said. “I can’t wait for you to show me more about yourself, what you can do. And I want to see you in wolf form.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

66

“That’s the naturalist in you.” Luka’s expression sobered. “I thought for sure if you knew what I am, you’d want me gone.” “Nope.” “Charlie…” Luka swallowed. “The pack is still out there.” “I know,” Charlie said. Luka’s arms tightened around him, protective, and Charlie decided he’d bring extra shells along with his rifle for their camping trip. Just let anyone try to hurt his Luka again. Just let them try.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

67

Chapter Eleven

The silver wolf coming out of the woods was the largest Charlie had ever seen. He held his breath, afraid he would scare it away as it stared at him from across the moonlit, tall grass. The big animal hesitated. Eerie green eyes caught and held his. It leapt onto the bluff and walked towards him on stiff legs. Charlie knelt, eye level with Luka’s wolf. See me. He could sense Luka’s need for acceptance. He stroked the long silky fur. A second later the wolf he’d touched was a naked man on hands and knees. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” “You can’t see the scar when I’m a wolf,” Luka said, shrugging. “Scar, no scar, it doesn’t matter. When I look at you…” The wonder he was feeling must have translated. Luka flushed. “It’s nothing magical. My people have always been able to transform.” Charlie chewed his lip, thinking. “But you’re massive. Are they all this big? I’ve heard stories about larger than normal wolves seen in the area, but I think if you’d been spotted, I’d have heard about it. Folks know I have an interest.” Luka shook his head. “Only my father and Micah were as big as I am.” “Micah?” “My twin. He managed to escape slavery but I’m not sure he’s even alive. They told me they hunted him down and killed him the night they killed the rest of my family.” Charlie tensed. “You lived through all that?” “Yes.” “You’re strong, Luka.” “No, I was weak.” “They didn’t feed you properly, did they?” Charlie asked gently. “They didn’t want you strong.” “I lived in the basement of the alpha’s house. I could smell the fresh meat? at their table.” Luka squeezed his eyes shut. “Every night. So hungry…”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

68

Charlie swallowed, hating this, but he needed to know more. “If your father was an alpha, then it may be you’re the same. You certainly, uh, act like one.” Luka blushed. “Sometimes.” A slight smile touched his lips. “You bring it out in me, I guess.” “It may be that the alpha who did this to you was afraid of what you could become. I think you’re stronger than he is.” Luka shook his head, hunching his shoulders. “No.” “Luka—” “No, Charlie. He’s…” “An abusive, frightened prick.” Charlie reached out and grasped Luka’s shoulder, making him look at him. “I’ve rescued animals from such people. I’ve helped people recover from trauma with restorative yoga. I know something about it.” “Healer, you’re a healer.” Charlie opened his mouth to automatically deny it, then stopped. He was asking Luka to believe something about himself that he didn’t want to accept. Maybe he should see himself in a new light. “I want to be a healer for you,” he said. Then as Luka held his gaze, he added, “No, I am a healer. I help animals, people.” Luka nodded. “When you touched me…my wolf, I saw the blue light. I knew you accepted me.” Charlie took a moment to think about Luka’s words as he took a deep breath of the night air. They were camped out just back from the bluff where they still commanded a view of his cabin and outbuildings. Pine trees that had lately been weighed down by snow were showing fresh green shoots at the tips and the browned grass had new sprouts. Spring was definitely taking hold at last. Charlie retrieved the blanket from on top of his sleeping bag and wrapped it around Luka. Normally his skin was warm but now goose pimples stood out. He figured it was the result of making Luka talk about his past, but some wounds had to be lanced before they’d truly heal. “You said the alpha gave you some kind of drug.” “Dempsy, yeah. It messed with me, made me want to hurt people.” Charlie stroked Luka’s arms. “And a truly strong wolf wants only to be left alone, not to hurt anyone.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

69

Luka drew the blanket tight around himself. “I was out of my head for a long time.” “You did the right thing, getting away from them.” Luka reached into his sleeping bag and pulled out a knapsack Charlie had never seen before. He opened it to reveal a journal. The wind teased the pages, but Charlie frowned when he spotted something familiar. He took the offered book, flipping through it. “You’ve been drawing these of me?” Embarrassment heated his cheeks. He noticed the date scribbled under one that captured Charlie shaving at the mirror in his bathroom. “These were done before I found you?” Luka nodded. “I…saw you.” “Here on my mountain?” Luka shook his head. “When I was a captive I was going to attack Dempsy. I knew he’d kill me, but I couldn’t…I just wanted it over. But I’d been having these dreams about a man who was gentle, a healer, and when I woke up, I scratched out his likeness on the walls of my prison. It was you. You saved me, Charlie.” Charlie rubbed his brow. “How is that possible?” “I don’t know. Does it matter? I didn’t escape because I’m strong. I escaped for you, Charlie.” Luka coloured. He snatched at the sketch book, as if to tear it from Charlie’s hands. “Don’t.” Charlie caught the back of Luka’s hand, caressing it with his thumb. “Let me look.” Luka gave a stiff nod. Heart thudding, Charlie looked at more of the sketches, finding one of himself with Delilah, a wolf that had passed away two years ago. There was no way Luka could have seen her and yet he had. “This is…strange.” “Stranger than your boyfriend shifting into a wolf?” Charlie grinned. “Point taken, but this is going to take me some time to wrap my head around it.” Luka’s voice was soft. “My dad told me once the bond between mates is powerful. The place where I was a captive isn’t that far from here, so maybe proximity somehow played into it. I could have scented you on the wind.” “Cody… He’s like you, isn’t he? That’s why he doesn’t like you.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

70

Luka’s gaze dropped. “He’s an alpha but it’s not about territory. I told you I tried to hurt someone when I escaped.” “It wasn’t Adrian, was it? Cody’s very protective of his lover.” “Adrian isn’t just his lover, he’s Cody’s mate,” Luka said. “Cody’s marked Adrian. And no, I remember them both, vaguely, but it was someone else, another shifter who isn’t an alpha.” “You weren’t yourself, thanks to whatever drug the pack forced on you. Cody is going to have to see that.” Luka widened his eyes at Charlie and Charlie laughed at the expression of disgruntlement. “I guess asking for help doesn’t come easy to you, you bein’ a natural alpha.” Charlie reached out, grazed Luka’s cheek with a finger before letting it drop. “But we do need to ask Cody for help. We need him, Luka.” “We damn well don’t,” Luka growled. “I don’t like him anywhere near you.” Charlie blinked. “I’m sure Cody would never hurt me. Oh…” he said, realising what was eating Luka. “Cody doesn’t want me.” “You like him. I’ve seen you laughing with him. And you touched him once. Put your hand on his arm.” “I…what?” Charlie laughed, not even remembering it but then he sobered as he saw vulnerability in Luka’s eyes. “It was nothing, believe me.” Had this been part of why Luka had holed up, avoiding Charlie? Unable to think about how to handle something he’d never figured would be an issue in his dating life, Charlie went back to his original point. “This Dempsy commands a pack. If we’re going to take him on and defeat him, we need one of our own.” Luka stilled, gazing down at the stretch of land he’d been protecting over the past weeks. “Take him on…” Charlie reached out and threaded his fingers through Luka’s. “I need you to keep me safe.” Manipulative, he knew, but he was willing to do anything to help keep Luka safe. Luka yanked Charlie close, his pupils enlarged and black, swallowing Charlie’s reflection. Charlie could see the wild wolf in his eyes, feel it in Luka’s possessive touch. Charlie knew what Luka needed. “If you mark me like Cody did Adrian, will I be yours?”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

71

“Yes.” The word came out harsh, guttural, as Luka stared into Charlie’s eyes. “No one else will have you if I mark you.” “I want that,” Charlie said. Luka was the one for him. He wasn’t sure Luka would stay, but Charlie knew how he felt. “Then I’ll give it to you,” Luka said. He cupped a hand around Charlie’s neck. Mine, the gesture seemed to say. Luka kissed Charlie before pushing him onto his back. Painfully aroused, he went willingly. He felt Luka’s need to claim him. Luka nuzzled Charlie’s neck, breath hot against his skin. He was shaking. “Never let anyone hurt you, Charlie.” “I know,” Charlie said, seeking to soothe Luka’s aroused beast. “I’m yours, Luka.” Luka grabbed Charlie’s belt, tugging it free before he pulled open his jeans. Charlie watched, drinking in the moment, still finding it new that anyone could want him this much. “You think Cody is beautiful?” Luka asked him. “Beautiful? Uh.” He couldn’t even picture Cody right now but Luka growled when he didn’t give him the answer he wanted immediately. “You like him.” “Yes.” He decided a little teasing wouldn’t hurt. “Before I met you, I admit I envied Adrian. The way Cody looks at him…” Luka growled again and Charlie laughed. “Luka, come on, you can’t be jealous!” Luka hauled off Charlie’s jeans and briefs, his green eyes hot on Charlie’s face, his body, so Charlie forgot about his teasing. He was as desperate to belong to Luka as Luka was to claim him. “Lube in my…” Charlie fumbled for his knapsack and managed to pull it out. Luka shoved down his jeans, his prick hard and hot in Charlie’s hand as he coated it, smoothing it, luxuriating in the moment of touching this part of the man he loved. “Charlie…” It was a plea and a command all at the same time. “Luka, it’s okay.” Charlie raised his legs and Luka shoved them higher so they were riding Luka’s shoulders. A stiff cock prodded Charlie’s opening and began to push inside. “Uhhhh…” Charlie breathed out, trying to relax as he was taken hard and fast. He didn’t try to temper Luka’s passion, loving that he was wanted so much, Luka’s green eyes blind as he thrust inside, past Charlie’s barrier, lodging home until he waited, trembling.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

72

“It’s okay.” His Luka needed this now, driven here by talk of his past and the teasing. “How could I ever look at Cody after you wanted me?” Luka’s hands were on Charlie’s shoulders, holding him still as he thrust and Charlie gasped at the impact, thoroughly speared. Oh, Luka. “I’m fucking you. I am,” Luka growled. “Christ, yeah!” He gripped Luka close, thoroughly kissed and fucked, loving it. “Luka, mark me,” he whimpered. Luka pulled out and flipped Charlie onto his stomach. Charlie rose, offering himself and a hot slick cock impaled him deliciously. His hands fisted his bedding as he pushed back, welcoming the penis ramming into him. Luka pushed Charlie’s head to one side and he guessed what was coming, guessed it would hurt. Luka’s fingers were long claws, his lover partially morphing, glowing eyes, sharp teeth at his throat, tearing the skin, blood on Luka’s mouth and Charlie screamed, coming. Claws dug into his upper arms. His body clenched around Luka’s cock, milking him, pleasing him so that Luka climaxed, mouthing the wound on Charlie’s neck, filling Charlie’s body with hot spurts of come.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

73

Chapter Twelve

Luka panted against Charlie’s neck, pulling him closer, engulfed by a peace he hadn’t known since he was a boy. Family, he had found a family again by taking this man as his mate. Tears stung his eyes and he closed them tightly, ashamed that he was shaking. Charlie nuzzled him, as if he understood. He didn’t speak and Luka was grateful. Luka didn’t know what he could have said. His hand stroking Charlie’s arm spoke for him. The moon ghosted through mist and trees as Luka drifted, enjoying his skin pressed against Charlie’s. Finally he mustered the courage to ask, “Are you all right?” He had licked the wound, sealing it, but his teeth had sunk deep into his mate when he was caught up in the primal act. He’d also fucked him hard. He was embarrassed at how the memory stirred him. Charlie would find him an insatiable beast, unable to stop from taking him over and over again. “Fine.” Charlie’s voice was relaxed, sleepy. He didn’t sound upset or worried over the choice he had made in letting Luka mark him. “You can’t have Cody now.” He flushed, wishing he could take back the impulsive words, feeling like a teenager with a crush. Charlie said, “Cody isn’t you.” Luka’s body softened around Charlie’s although he was still listening for danger, his senses pushing out into the night, but so far all he’d caught were the soft footfalls of a deer. “But that doesn’t mean we leave the topic I brought up before we…” Charlie was blushing. Luka grinned, feeling a little smug. He’d made the older man come and now he was blushing. He reached out and touched the mark, a thin line on Charlie’s neck, the skin almost healed. “And don’t try to get around me, cowboy, by touching my sexy brand,” Charlie said, swatting his hand away. “You think it’s sexy?” He climbed on top of Charlie, taking his wrists in one hand. Charlie didn’t resist, his eyes heavy-lidded as he held Luka’s gaze. Charlie’s erection brushed

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

74

against Luka’s and his breath hitched. Wild for Charlie, Luka had thought he’d turn Charlie off, but already Charlie was excited again. “Branded and owned? Very sexy.” Charlie pulled Luka down for a kiss and he went willingly, drowning in Charlie, exploring his mouth deeply. It was nice to take the time, savouring Charlie’s moans, the way his breathing picked up and his hands dug into Luka’s shoulders. “I’ve never had a lover. Just one hour stands,” Charlie said. “One hour stands? Like one hour eye glasses or your money back?” Luka had heard the ads on Charlie’s radio. Charlie laughed. “Yeah. Get your ashes hauled in one hour.” His expression sobered. “My experiences are a picnic compared to yours. I’m sorry.” “Why?” Luka’s forehead wrinkled. “Because it hurts me to think of you hurting,” Charlie said. “Can I… I’d like to try something for you, but it might be hard.” Luka cocked an eyebrow. “I’m already hard.” “I’d like to make you harder.” Charlie stroked a finger down Luka’s cheekbone to his lips, touching them with such open tenderness that Luka would do anything for him. “We’ll start with a little restorative yoga.” “Of course we will.” He figured Charlie would pick up the amusement in his voice. Since he’d lived here, he’d attended classes twice a week. He always felt better after doing them, if only because he enjoyed Charlie’s caring touch. Yoga was also the only break either of them had from watching over the land, for Cody and Adrian came over and stayed while Charlie was teaching. Charlie slid from underneath Luka and he wanted to grab Charlie, put him on his back again, but Luka made himself let go. He would have his chance soon. He would be inside Charlie again, fucking him, the heat damn near blowing the top off his head when he came. “Focus,” Charlie scolded. “I’m very focused.” Charlie’s lips twitched before he bent and brushed his lips brushed Luka’s hard, aching cock. He gasped and shoved his hand into Charlie’s hair, the texture warm and a little rough. “Do you need a little help focusing first?”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

75

“Oh yeah.” Luka cleared his throat and prodded Charlie’s lips with his erection. “Suck it.” “Wolf shifters seem to have strong libidos,” Charlie commented in an almost scientific tone. “Charlie…” Luka moaned. Charlie blinked, then grinned. “Sorry.” “Uh, take it!” Charlie suckled just the head, his tongue digging deep into the slit, as if he were hungry to taste. Luka wanted to fill his mouth, see his come spilling out from Charlie’s lips. His lower back tightened and his balls drew up. He quivered under each kitten lick Charlie was teasing him with. Luka’s fingers morphed into claws. His vision sharpened. The stretch in his back was a hot tingle, drawing up and down every time Charlie took him deeper. He couldn’t believe this. He’d been told he was weak, a dirty creature. He’d never imagined anyone willingly sucking him, wanting his taste, his come, as much as Charlie seemed to want him. He couldn’t stop himself from scraping Charlie’s scalp gently with the claws, letting him know he pleasured a beast. Charlie groaned, as if he found Luka’s gesture hot and the sound set him off. He roared as he came, shooting deep into Charlie’s mouth and watching him take everything he had to give. He was shaking, and Charlie sat up, wiping his mouth before putting his arms around Luka, supporting him.

“I think I can manage some of your yoga now.” He didn’t promise he wouldn’t get excited again. Charlie always excited him. “My class has adopted you,” Charlie said. “They enjoy watching you go through the poses, especially Mrs. Twinkle.” “More like fumble through them.” “Lie on your back.” Charlie put a hand on Luka’s belly, rubbing gently. “Can you do that for me?”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

76

Yoga had made it easier to relax with Charlie, who never made any sensual demands and was focused on Luka’s well-being during the sessions. That soothed Luka. And when they were done, Luka would become hotter, because Charlie only wanted Luka to feel good. He lay back, looking up at Charlie, who paused to mesh their fingers together. Luka’s fingers still sported long, lethal claws at the tips, but Charlie only studied them, as if curious at the transformation. “Pull your legs up to your chest,” he said. Dark memories stirred, but he did as Charlie asked, aware he was a lot less flexible than his human. “Rock from side to side,” Charlie said, his voice falling into the lulling tone he used in class. “Imagine your body is a bowl full of water, swishing to each side of the bowl as you move.” Luka rocked, feeling himself fall into a deeper place as Charlie guided him through a few poses until he felt limp and peaceful and happy. When Charlie ran his hands down Luka’s inner thighs, he didn’t stiffen as he had at first, instead feeling sparks of pleasure as Charlie’s mouth found his opening, licking and sucking at it gently. Luka had never experienced anything like this. He caught his breath as Charlie’s tongue penetrated him, warm and loving. “Like it?” “Love it.” Luka groaned. “Put your hand on your cock while I taste you. Enjoy yourself.” Luka touched himself, stroking the long stem. Moisture bubbled out. It felt amazing to jerk himself as Charlie’s mouth worshipped him in a place where he’d only known pain. Charlie’s scent told him this was enough, that giving to Luka was what Charlie wanted. “Oh, Charlie… Oh, Christ!” Charlie’s tongue went deeper and Luka felt an ache deep inside himself. He sometimes experienced a throbbing sensation there as he fucked Charlie. He needed…he wasn’t sure what he needed. His head thrashed from side to side. “Do you want my finger inside you?” Charlie asked softly. He stroked Luka’s hip. “Yeah…”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

77

Charlie didn’t give it to him right away, but took the time to coat his fingers with plenty of lube before he gently breached Luka. He gusted out a breath, his heart thudding in his ears as the finger worked gently past his barrier and began to explore him. This isn’t so bad, he thought, seeing how Charlie was watching his reactions. But then Charlie brushed something, that throbbing place and Luka jerked. “What?” “Just enjoy,” Charlie said, and the finger brushed that spot again. Luka knew that when he fucked Charlie his penis pleased his lover, but Luka hadn’t understood how until Charlie touched him deep inside. Charlie mouthed his hardened prick and Luka squeezed his eyes shut, doing what Charlie had urged and enjoying this. “Oh, fuck… Charlie.” This time when he came, it was easy, like he drifted into it. He closed his eyes and Charlie curled around him, holding him.

**** Luka jerked upright, senses on alert. Charlie was sleeping, cuddled close and Luka’s protective feelings for his human mate brought out a low growl. He got to his feet, aware of brush stirring on the rise of the mountain beyond his bluff. The pack. And they wanted him to know they were in his territory, that he was outnumbered. More brush moved and Luka’s hands fisted. If he went out to challenge them, they could take him down, many against one wolf. Bang! Luka spun, shocked to see Charlie kneeling with his rifle in his arms. The gun tracked movement. Charlie’s face was grim, fixed. “You stay here,” he said to Luka. “You goddamn stay here so we can protect each other.” “All right.” Luka closed his eyes, already shifting, his claws morphing fully, pelt breaking out over his back as he became wolf. He leapt onto the largest boulder and growled low. If they came for him, they could take him, but he’d kill any wolf who went for his mate. Charlie jumped to Luka’s side, the rifle swivelling… Bang!

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

78

A yelp from the woods. Charlie had hit someone. Luka caught the hot smell of blood, heard human whimpering. The scrub whipped back and forth violently, as if the pack converged on the hurt member. The whimpering stopped. “God! They killed him, didn’t they?” Charlie demanded. “They killed a member of their own pack.”

Charlie stayed beside Luka as the sky began to lighten and again, Luka felt the sense of…family. He hadn’t experienced this since he’d been a member of his father’s pack. “They’re gone,” Charlie said, standing with a sigh. He put down the gun and stretched. Luka shifted back to human form, rubbing his unshaven jaw. He ached for sleep, for a hot bath, for Charlie’s bed and Charlie’s wonderful body under his. “I’m going to check out the woods,” he said. “I’m coming with you.” He wanted to order Charlie to stay where he was, but he dogged Luka’s heels as he hiked into the brush where the pack had been. Luka found some spatters of dark blood and the grass was crushed but no sign of a body. “Took him away to dump him elsewhere.” Charlie swallowed hard. “Our pack will be different.” “Our pack?” Luka looked at Charlie and sighed. “Right, our pack.” “I feel like pancakes. You game?” “With real maple syrup?” He put an arm around Charlie, feeling his sturdy strength. “And brown sugar and butter.” “After I have the pancakes, I want you on that old dining table, nude and spread out for me.” Charlie’s breathing picked up. “With a little brown sugar and butter.” Picturing licking it off Charlie’s skin, Luka’s step quickened. He was suddenly hungry.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

79

Chapter Thirteen

“It smells like burnt brown sugar in here,” Cody said as soon as Charlie let him and Adrian into the cabin. Charlie flushed, glancing away from Cody’s confused expression while Luka twitched in his seat at the table. Looking from Charlie to Luka, Adrian smiled. “Oh, for God’s sake,” Cody grumbled. Charlie flashed back to an hour earlier, Luka slowly wrapping his belt around his wrists as he lay on the battered maple dining table. He cleared his throat. “Thanks for coming,” he said. “So you let him mark you.” Cody nodded to the mark that Charlie touched from time to time, getting used to the slight scar. “I didn’t let him. I asked him,” Charlie said. “Good thinking after I told you he’s not a good risk.” “And I told you I don’t believe that!” “Boys!” Adrian shoved between Cody and Charlie. “Can we get to the heart of the meeting Charlie called?” Cody slouched against the wall, clearly not ready to sit with them. Charlie hoped Cody would cooperate. He was essential. Charlie met Adrian’s sympathetic gaze and took a deep breath. “Until recently Luka was held as some kind of…captive by a man called Dempsy.” Cody nodded as if he’d known. “He managed to escape but not before he was given a dangerous drug.” “Drug?” Adrian raised his brows and looked at Luka. “Interesting.” “It altered his behaviour, making him more aggressive,” Charlie continued. “He doesn’t remember everything that happened during that time except encountering you two and wandering through the woods on the reserve. He was in bad shape when I found him.” Luka’s face was tight as he stared at the table. “It would make sense,” Adrian said. “You haven’t hurt Charlie since you’ve come to live here.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

80

“I’d never hurt Charlie!” Luka growled. Charlie reached out and touched Luka’s stiff arm. “Of course not. Adrian knows that.” “Luka kidnapped a friend of ours, but when we found them you hadn’t hurt Tom,” Adrian said. “It was clear you were confused and in some kind of pain. I wanted to help you but you ran off before I could do anything.” “Lucky for him,” Cody said. “I’m sorry,” Luka said, very softly. His face was flushed and his eyes were averted, as if he couldn’t make himself meet anyone’s gaze. “You didn’t take the drug voluntarily. You were victimised, Luka,” Adrian said gently. Luka finally lifted his eyes to Adrian’s. “I didn’t hurt anyone?” “You bruised Tom up a little but he healed quickly,” Adrian said. “In a weird way, I think you helped him since everyone knew Cass had a thing for Tom but he was too shy to act on it until he thought Tom was threatened.” “I thought…” Luka squeezed his eyes shut. “I thought this Tom was Charlie. I was looking for Charlie.” Adrian frowned. “You’d met him before you found him?” “That’s a little complicated.” Charlie looked at Luka, seeing how tense he was. Asking for help this way had to be acid to what was left of his pride. “And private.” Adrian shrugged. “All right. What do you want from us?” “Dempsy,” Cody growled. “They want my help with Dempsy and his pack.” “I think they want both of us to help out,” Adrian chided his lover. “You damned well won’t get anywhere near Dempsy!” Adrian looked at Charlie, ignoring Cody’s outburst. “It takes a pack to defeat a pack.” Charlie nodded. “They came for us but we managed to hold them off.” He filled Adrian and Cody in on the events of the night. “You were lucky,” Adrian said. “From what Cody’s told me, Dempsy’s pack is more like a vicious gang. They take in all the rejects from other packs.” “They’d fall apart if Dempsy was taken down,” Cody said. “Dempsy is mine,” Luka said. “I’ll challenge him.” Cody studied him. “If you want.” “Luka…” Cold snaked through Charlie’s gut. He swallowed, holding Luka’s feral green eyes. He said the only thing he could. “You’ll defeat him.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

81

“I want to meet Tom and Cass,” Luka said, looking at Adrian and Cody. “Can you arrange it?”

**** Sheba paced back and forth in her habitat as Luka watched her, sitting on the wooden trolley outside the fence. The cat’s ears were back. She was especially wary of Luka since her attack, but he thought she was getting used to his visits. “I know how you feel. They hurt you, took you down despite how strong you are,” he told her. “Charlie loves you, so I’m going to keep you safe.” Gravel crunched and Luka looked over his shoulder, seeing Charlie walking towards the enclosure with his hands in his jeans pockets and his cowboy hat pushed back over sweaty brown hair. He’d been working in his vegetable patch, planting seeds all morning. “Adrian says she’s in good shape. She should make a full recovery,” Charlie said. “She doesn’t want to leave you. Not yet.” Charlie shook his head. “She’s just getting good care. It makes a difference.” He walked to the fence and threaded his hand through it. Luka pulled him back. “Don’t get so close. She wouldn’t mean to hurt you, but she is what she is.” Charlie gave Luka an amused look. “You’re acting like Cody does with Adrian. I understand her. I don’t take risks.” “You take the biggest risk of all, caring for her when she probably only has a few more years. It’ll hurt when you lose her.” Charlie swallowed. “Yeah, it will. It does when any of my animals pass, but I wouldn’t change anything. I want to help them get back their dignity.” Luka leant his forehead against Charlie’s. “I have to do this, Charlie. I have to take Dempsy on.” Charlie’s hands clenched on Luka’s upper arms. “I know. It doesn’t mean I’m not afraid, but I know.” Luka didn’t tell Charlie that he didn’t expect to win the battle. The most he was hoping against the vicious shifter was to weaken him so his pack turned on him. “Adrian asked if I’d marked you yet,” Charlie said. Luka jerked away. “No. I don’t want that.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

82

Charlie’s eyes widened and Luka saw a flash of pain. “Yeah, I know,” he said, as if trying to make light of it. “It’s not a good idea. You might find someone else, someone younger…” Charlie’s idea was insane, as if Luka could touch any other man but he didn’t deny it. He wasn’t going to win the coming battle and it would only be harder for Charlie to let him go if he’d marked Luka. But he couldn’t stop his gaze from falling to Charlie’s mouth, wondering what it would be like, Charlie’s teeth in his skin, biting him, marking him as Charlie’s. He’d belong to his human mate forever that way. The thought brought familiar painful heat to his sex. As if he sensed it, Charlie’s hand slid down, cupped and stroked Luka through his jeans. “The barn,” Charlie muttered and they headed there rapidly. At the entrance to an empty stall Luka hesitated. Charlie grabbed him and wrestled him to the ground, muscles straining, lips a breath apart. Luka didn’t hold back, forcing Charlie’s submission. “Pull down your jeans,” he demanded, his voice guttural. “I want to spank you.” Charlie obeyed, shoving down his jeans and briefs to reveal the hard round shape of his rear end. Luka hauled Charlie over his lap, stroking the silky skin, glorying over having tamed Charlie again. He squirmed and Luka’s erection rubbed against naked thighs. He brought his hand down, smacking one tempting globe, watching it redden from the smack. Charlie tensed then relaxed, whimpering as he thrust his needy penis against Luka helplessly. Luka struck him again, Charlie’s arousal spiking sharply, revealed by his change of scent. He trembled, accepting the spanking until his ass bloomed from Luka’s punishment. “Turn over.” Luka helped Charlie and watched him sit up through heavy-lidded eyes. “Lift your T-shirt.” When Charlie did, Luka pinched the star point of one beaded nipple. Charlie arched, offering the other one wantonly and Luka did the same, his touch offering something just short of pain. Ignoring Charlie’s swollen prick, Luka undid his jeans and held out his cock. Charlie knelt between Luka’s legs and began to suck, jeans around his ankles so his pinkened ass

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

83

was on view. Luka enjoyed that sight as Charlie pleasured him, moaning as he swallowed more of Luka. He caged Charlie’s skull and began to thrust in and out, fucking his mouth. He wasn’t gentle but Charlie seemed to love it. “Gonna come…” Charlie pulled with strong suction, encouraging. Luka spilled in hot spurts, filling his mate’s mouth with his spend. He panted, heat in his cheeks, his body still singing pleasure. Charlie, he thought hazily. Damn, you make me feel good. He looked up at Luka, lips shiny from his jizz, body clearly on edge. Luka placed his booted foot between Charlie’s legs. His heavy cock and balls brushed against the leather. Charlie inhaled sharply. “Want to get off?” Luka asked silkily. “Fuck yourself against my boot.” Embarrassment showed in Charlie’s eyes, but also burning lust. He wanted this. “You’re such an asshole,” he whispered, but his tone was caressing. He thrust against Luka tentatively. Charlie’s eyes widened, and Luka guessed Charlie felt the slick oil that Luka had applied to the boot. Charlie gasped as he thrust against it, and Luka imagined how Charlie felt, with the embossed design providing bumps and friction to play against his needy cock. Luka watched avidly as Charlie gave himself, humping frantically, trying to get himself off. He prodded with the boot, adding pressure, and Charlie’s eyes squeezed tightly shut as he cried out, shooting come so it dripped over the leather. When Charlie sagged, Luka lifted his foot free, then tugged off his boot. He knelt in front of Charlie, who was wobbling on his heels, his pupils huge, his lips parted. Luka pushed him onto his back and Charlie sprawled as Luka put the boot against his lips. “Lick it clean.” He watched Charlie’s tongue come out, tasting himself, cleaning Luka’s boot. By the time his mate was finished, Luka had become white hot for him. He helped him onto his hands and knees, pausing to pull lube from his pocket. He smeared it on generously before he found Charlie’s opening and thrust inside. Charlie cried out, shivering. Luka gripped Charlie’s hips, lost in the pleasure of having him. He squeezed tight, contracting around Luka and even though the harsh fuck was too soon for the human, he gave a hoarse sound, obviously liking how he was being used again.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

84

Luka cupped Charlie’s neck and pushed his face into the straw, watching him through half-closed eyes as he pushed in and out, taking him slowly now, enjoying stroking his cock with Charlie’s warm body. He deliberately took his time so that eventually Charlie hardened again and began to press up against Luka, as though begging him to take him harder. “Please!” Charlie reached back and dug his fingers into Luka’s thighs, urging him on. Charlie was Luka’s. Charlie accepted his submission. Luka’s eyes stung as Charlie gave himself, bringing them both off. Charlie stiffened and swore, coming for Luka again as Luka shot deep inside Charlie. Luka whispered against Charlie’s hair, too soft for him to hear, “You’re beautiful. Love you. Love you so much.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

85

Chapter Fourteen

Cass Drake was one of the biggest men Charlie had ever seen, large enough to play pro football as a linebacker. His wide shoulders almost blocked Charlie from catching a clear look at the slighter Tom Black, a man with long dark hair and a runner’s build. Cass glared at Luka, who was sitting at Charlie’s table next to Adrian. Luka looked back curiously, as if he didn’t quite recognise Cass or Tom. “Adrian said you wanted to meet with us,” Cass said, folding his arms. Although Adrian had told him that Cass was human, he obviously had taken on the role of speaking for his mate. Tom didn’t come across as an alpha wolf the way Luka and Cody did, but Charlie knew that not all wolves could be natural leaders. “We need your help,” Charlie said. “We need you to stand with us when we take on Dempsy’s pack.” Tom spoke for the first time. “Of course we’ll help you.” “What? Tom!” Cass looked annoyed and his meaty hand smothered Tom’s. “This isn’t travellin’, where you decide on a whim that we go to Siena instead of Venice.” Tom looked at Cass, affection gleaming in his eyes before his expression sobered. “The pack that abused Luka is on our turf, Cass,” Tom said. “They’re a danger to us, the foals we’re fostering right now and everyone in town. We have to do something.” “I’ve arranged a meet for tomorrow’s full moon,” Cody said, slouching against the wall. “Luka can make his challenge then.” Nodding at Cody, Luka stood to leave. He paused beside Tom, his forehead wrinkling. “You’re nothing like Charlie.” “No,” Tom agreed. “I don’t remember you at all.” “I’m kind of glad. I wasn’t at my best.” He looked at Charlie. “And I’m glad you found your Charlie at last. Adrian and I wondered what happened to you.”

**** “Charlie?”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

86

Charlie didn’t look up from where he was mucking out stalls in the old barn. Sweat dampened the bandana wrapped around his head. His denim shirt clung to his upper body, coated with dust and straw. “Charlie…” Luka grasped Charlie’s rake, holding it until he was forced to look at Luka. “When I found you on that mountain slope, I knew I’d found somethin’ special,” Charlie said. “Now you’re going to fight Dempsy.” He couldn’t continue. He didn’t want Luka to know how afraid he was. What if he took it for lack of confidence in him? “I’m not going to defeat him, Charlie.” Luka’s voice was very gentle. “Not as long as he’s a figure from your nightmares. He beat you down deliberately, Luka. That drug…it was a pathetic attempt to master you.” Luka swallowed and Charlie saw that Luka couldn’t quite believe in himself. If they had more time together, maybe he could continue to heal, to believe more in his inner steel, but they didn’t have time. Since Charlie’s father had died, no one had been close to him. He knew himself well after all these solitary years. He was a natural loner. Only one person had been in his bedroom, slept in his bed and used his old fashioned bathtub. He wanted to wake up to Luka’s comb on the dresser next to his own. He wanted to take care of his animals with Luka and continue to share his yoga, healing the man he loved. “I have to teach class tonight,” Charlie said. Luka nodded. “I’ll call Cody, see if they can come over to watch the reserve.” Charlie shook his head. “I’ll go alone. You can stay here.” “I don’t like it,” Luka growled, his hands tightening their hold on Charlie’s rake until he taken it. He crossed his arms, blocking Charlie’s path from the barn. Luka was certainly getting bossy, Charlie noted. He’d been afraid of his own shadow when Charlie had found him. But he was determined to do whatever it took to protect Luka. Dempsy couldn’t be allowed to hurt him. “All right,” he said. “I’ll just go to the cabin and wash up.” Luka was still frowning as Charlie walked out of the barn. He took off his bandana and wiped his shiny skin. Luka could move unbelievably fast, and Charlie knew he’d have only one chance. I’m sorry, he thought.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

87

Uneasy, Luka trailed after Charlie out of the barn. Something was bothering his mate. Why had he wanted to go alone to teach his yoga class? He seemed to enjoy giving Luka the benefit of a healing touch during the sessions. Luka closed his eyes for a moment, feeling Charlie’s power. It was like Charlie got inside him as he had when he’d put his tongue and fingers in Luka’s body, creating pleasure where before Luka had felt only fear and shame. Luka ached for Charlie again but he had already taken him once that morning. At the rate he wanted him, Charlie couldn’t always accommodate him. Not unless Luka trusted him enough to let Charlie fuck him. Luka froze at the thought, the first time he’d ever considered it voluntarily. He was so caught up in the tangled net of his thoughts that at first he didn’t connect the sound of Charlie’s truck starting with the idea that he was leaving. Dirt and gravel spat from under the tires as the big vehicle fishtailed on the drive, heading for the open road. Luka yanked his clothes free before transforming in one leap into his wolf. He tore after the truck. The vehicle slowed to take the curve and Luka struck the passenger side, claws scoring, sharpened eyes catching a look at Charlie’s pale, fixed face. And then the truck barrelled past him and Luka was left kneeling in the dirt, human again as he stared after Charlie in disbelief. Betrayal burned his gut. Why?

**** Charlie downed a deep gulp of his beer, trying to wipe out the memory of Luka running after him. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed the cold, sweating bottle against his forehead before pulling out his noisy BlackBerry. He looked at the name on the display and cleared his throat. “Cody.” “What the fuck are you doing?” Cody demanded. Charlie blinked, then realised that Luka must have contacted Cody. “I’m going to meet Dempsy.” “The hell you are!” “Don’t. I have to do this, Cody.” “You have no idea who you’re dealing with. He’s sick, twisted.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

88

“And yet he was allowed to keep a boy captive all those years, to torture him. I do know what I’m doing. I’ve dealt with abusive men before. I’m handling this so that Luka doesn’t have to.” “You need to trust your mate.” “Luka doesn’t believe he can defeat Dempsy. I think he can but—” Charlie cut himself off. He had very little time. “Just keep Luka on the reserve.” “Too late, he’s gone. He’s asked one of the volunteers to watch over the animals so we can all look for you.” Cody’s voice hardened. “I wouldn’t want to be Luka’s mate when he finds you.” “Charlie?” A hand brushed his arm. Charlie jumped, then let out a relieved breath when he saw the woman he’d nicknamed Mrs. Twinkle from his yoga classes. She was wiping spent peanut shells off the counter. “You work here?” he asked, surprised as he put away his BlackBerry. He hadn’t pictured her behind a battered counter, handing out long necks and dealing with rowdy cowboys. “Own the place. On Friday and Saturday nights we even have strippers for men and ladies,” she said, smiling enigmatically as if she saw his surprise. “I’m Jean Beaumont.” He nodded, his thoughts on the coming meeting with Dempsy. “Are you all right?” “Fine.” “Uh huh. You sound very un-fine to me. Problems with your young man?” His startled gaze met hers and she gave a crack of laughter. “Please. It’s so obvious whenever you touch him in class. He’s special to you.” Throat tight, he nodded. “I thought you’d wind up a loner for life,” she said. “It’s good you have someone.” He shrugged, uncomfortable. “I don’t really. I mean, have you looked at him? He could have anyone.” “I have looked at him. Have you? He has—if you’ll excuse the cliché—only eyes for you.” He would have welcomed the words under other circumstances. Now he could only remember how he’d tricked Luka. He’d worked so hard to be honourable, to win Luka’s trust. How would he feel about Charlie now?

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

89

It didn’t matter. He had to protect Luka, stand for him. Charlie would die before he’d let Dempsy hurt or kidnap Luka. He’d never be abused again. “Charles Danvers?” a gravelly voice asked. He had to be Dempsy. Dempsy’d moved in fast. Like Luka. Charlie let out a breath, his heart thudding in his ears. Dempsy was in his late forties with pale grey eyes and silvered, dirty blond hair. He wasn’t as tall as Charlie but the way he held himself, a kind of stillness, warned Charlie he was dealing with someone capable of anything. He nodded and watched Dempsy pull a cigarette from a pack in his shirt pocket. A smoker. That might explain the crushed gravel voice. The pale gaze fell to the mark on Charlie’s neck. “So the whelp actually marked someone.” “Why not? He’s a free man,” Charlie said, tapping his fingers on the bar next to his drink to relieve tension. He wanted to smash his fist into Dempsy’s face. Jean was at the other end of the counter, serving customers, but Charlie saw her glancing in his and Dempsy’s direction. “He’s not a man.” “I know.” Dempsy glance was cool, speculative. “You’re not afraid of him?” “No.” “You should be.” “Is that why you gave him that drug, to make him hurt someone just so you could get your kicks? It didn’t work. He’s stronger than you are.” Dempsy’s eyes narrowed. “He’s younger than his father was when I tore the old man apart in the ring.” Charlie swallowed, sickened. “Yes, he’s young, young and strong and you’re getting older, aren’t you? It wouldn’t have been too long before he challenged you. You’re going to leave him alone.” “Oh, is that what you want?” A little smile touched Dempsy’s lips. “So what do you have to bargain?” “Your safety.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

90

Dempsy blinked. Probably he’d expected some kind of offer of payment, but Charlie knew that wouldn’t work. “What are you playin’ at?” “My reserve is very special. I often deal with state and federal agencies. If you don’t leave Luka alone I’ll give them the location of your pack and let them know I suspect there is some kind abuse going on there of animals and children. I doubt you want that kind of attention.” He planned to do it anyway, of course. Dempsy casually lifted Charlie’s beer mug, took a sip and then brought it down on Charlie’s index finger, shattering the bone. Charlie collapsed against the bar. “Everything all right, Charlie?” Jean demanded sharply. Her hand was hovering near the phone. “Fine, Mrs. Twinkle.” Charlie managed a jerky nod, straightening. Tears of pain blurred his eyes as he locked gazes with Dempsy. If he asked Jean for help, Dempsy would tear out her throat. “Mrs…” Jean frowned. “Ah, right. Glad to hear everything’s fine.” “Let’s finish this back at my place,” Dempsy said, taking Charlie’s arm and squeezing brutally.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

91

Chapter Fifteen

“Nothing.” Cody slipped through the trees and out to the highway. Luka had his hand on the hood of Charlie’s truck, eyes tightly closed as he shut out Cody and tried to get a sense of where Charlie had gone. “It’s too bad he parked in the middle of town,” Adrian said. “If we knew where he went, we might be able to track him.” “Too many people, too many scents…” Cody growled. Luka’s BlackBerry buzzed and he took it out of his pocket, heart pounding. “Charlie?” “Luka, this is Jean. Maybe you recognise my voice from yoga.” “Yes.” “I just saw Charlie and he was acting so strange. Can you drop by my bar? I’m working tonight.” Jean gave him instructions on how to find it and Luka climbed into Adrian’s SUV with Cody and Adrian.

**** Charlie traced a familiar face carved into the cedar wall of Dempsy’s basement. His face, carved by Luka when he’d been a prisoner. “You never could quite break him. And you were afraid of what he’d become,” he muttered, although he was alone. Dempsy had shoved him down the stairs, then slammed and locked the only door. The air smelt like damp earth and something else that unsettled Charlie. Unwashed body. As his eyes adjusted, he moved further into the cold, cramped space, finding a stump by one wall. On it was a small broken black plastic comb and a chipped Royal Doulton tea cup. Charlie remembered that Luka had told him his mother had kept fine china in her dining room. Was this all Luka had to remember her by? He sat on the dirt floor and spied a bulge in a crack in the wall. He pulled it out, finding a child’s notebook. The first pages contained assignments, as if from school but the rest was cramped writing that Charlie could barely make out and a few illustrations. The drawings were dark, full of teeth and darkness and dripping blood.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

92

Charlie squeezed his eyes shut, aching. When he felt strong enough to look at more of the drawings, he was relieved to find some of a small bird on the window ledge of the basement. It was a sparrow and it looked like Luka must have scattered some crumbs of his food to bring the bird to him as a companion. Charlie smiled when he met the black curious eyes of Luka’s bird, little head cocked to the side as it pecked on Luka’s offering. The pain from his throbbing finger was forgotten. After he had looked through all the pages, he wiped the cold trails of tears off his cheeks. He’d figured he’d fucked up big time, underestimating Dempsy, but down here, Charlie found Luka.

**** Luka ran through familiar woods, aware of other wolves behind him. Cody, a great grey wolf and Tom, who was smaller but could pick up a scent better than either he or Cody. The small pack followed his lead as he slowed at the edge of the village where Dempsy’s pack lived. Luka wrinkled his nose at the smell. He’d never noticed the garbage strewn in piles around the houses. Those cabins had last been painted when his father was alive. Now the fences sagged and the gardens where vegetables and flowers had once sprouted were nothing but hardpacked earth studded with empty bottles. As the three wolves ghosted closer, Luka saw his mother’s house, with broken steps that would have upset her and murky green water in the bird bath. They shifted, almost as if they’d rehearsed, and Luka stiffened when Tom laid a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. “You can’t go home,” he said softly, as if he understood the emotions boiling inside Luka’s chest. Luka swallowed hard, but shoved aside his hurt when he caught a familiar scent: Charlie. Charlie was here. He climbed to his feet and walked to the front door of the house where he’d lived.

Charlie heard a commotion upstairs and guessed that Luka had come. He stood when the door above burst open. The light hurt his eyes. And there was Luka, staring down at him.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

93

“What are you doin’, Charlie?” he asked, as if Charlie had got lost. Charlie had to clear his throat. “Something stupid.” He stopped to pick up Luka’s journal and the broken tea cup, cradling them carefully with his good hand as he walked up the stairs. He saw Luka’s gaze on the items but he didn’t comment on them. In the kitchen was a standoff, with Dempsy and two unkempt men facing off with Luka, Cody and Tom. Charlie blinked, because all the men were naked, but then he realised this was how shifters prepared for battle. “We’ll take this to the clearing,” Cody said. “The winner will be the new alpha but the human comes with us regardless.” The human, meaning him. Feeling chastened, Charlie edged closer to Luka, who took Charlie’s hand and tugged him from the house, striding fast, as if he couldn’t bear to stay there another minute. Cody and Tom were on their heels but Cody stiffened when he saw Adrian’s truck with Adrian and Cass waiting calmly beside it. “Save it,” Adrian said, as if he knew his protective lover wanted to tell him off for coming here. “We’re part of the pack too. Are you all right?” He looked at Charlie. Charlie hesitated. Luka studied him. “What’s wrong with your hand?” “My index finger. Broken,” Charlie said, knowing he couldn’t hide it from Luka. “Let me take a look,” Adrian said, taking the things Charlie had carried from the house and putting them in his truck. He gently examined Charlie’s hand. Despite his care, hot agony throbbed through the swollen finger. The rest of his hand was inflamed in sympathetic reaction. Luka watched, his jaw working. Charlie wanted to reassure Luka but didn’t have a chance before they had to all climb into Adrian’s big vehicle. Charlie’s stomach felt like ice as they pulled out and headed over a pot-holed unpaved road. Heading for the clearing, for the battle between Luka and Dempsy.

Adrian, Cass and Charlie followed their shifter men into the clearing, a rough oblong ring faced on one side by forest and on the other by a cliff. Charlie walked to Luka, throat so tight he couldn’t speak as he stood beside him. Luka looked at him and that feral light was blazing in his green eyes. Charlie settled for squeezing

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

94

Luka’s shoulder with his good hand, although he really wanted to crush Luka in his arms, smell him, feel him. “It’s my reckoning, Charlie. I owe him for my dad. For my mom and her beautiful house. For Micah. And…for you.” Charlie cleared his throat. “Then live for me, Luka,” he growled, gripping Luka’s shoulder. He lifted his swollen hand. “He hurt me.” Luka’s pupils expanded, dark so that only a thin rim of green colour remained. His chest rose and fell sharply. “He raped you. He humiliated you, he killed good people, people you loved…” Charlie remembered that sad little underground room where his beautiful Luka had been an abused prisoner. “Do what you have to. Come back to me.” I love you. Please. Luka threw his head back and howled, his teeth gleaming, pointed, deadly sharp. Claws sprouted from his hands. He shocked Charlie by kneeling in front of him, taking Charlie’s painfully swollen hand in his claws and gently, so gently, nuzzling it against his face. Charlie squeezed his eyes shut. Luka was saying goodbye. Saying he— Cody’s hand on his shoulder, pulling him back. Charlie resisted. No. If he’d had silver bullets and a rifle, he’d have shot Dempsy, shot him without a second thought and to fuck with this barbaric ritual. “Charlie.” Luka’s voice was guttural. He was becoming his beast. Charlie forced himself to step back and he was shaking but then he was warm, sandwiched by a protective Cody and Tom. Tom had seemed so sweet to Charlie previously but now his eyes were flat and inhuman as he waited patiently for someone to die. Dempsy was pacing in front of his pack members, his gaze fixed on Luka. Charlie could sense that Dempsy had killed shifters here before. He could feel it, as if the whispering grass, the trees and rocks held the memory of the splash of blood. Was this where they’d brought Micah, Luka’s twin brother? Had they ripped him to shreds here, a young boy? Adrian was behind him, wrapping his arms around him, holding him as he continued to shake.

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

95

“I’m going to rip him open, spill him out on your shoes,” Dempsy said, looking now straight at Charlie. “No, you won’t,” Cody growled. Luka said nothing but his very stillness attracted Charlie’s gaze so he almost missed the great shaggy grey wolf, scarred here and there with furless patches, leaping through the air, straight at Luka. “Get back!” Cody yelled, shoving Charlie and Adrian from the edge of the ring. Luka leapt for the grey wolf, morphing into a silver shadow of death, larger than Dempsy. The two animals collided midair with a dull, meaty sound, tearing, flashing teeth. “No!” Charlie called, watching as Luka’s wolf circled Dempsy, who snapped at Luka with jagged yellow teeth. Luka was limping, his side opened. Dempsy attacked again, tearing a line of flesh from Luka’s shoulder. Cody had to hold a struggling Charlie back. He wanted to run into the ring. To fight and die beside Luka. But all he could do was watch. Luka panted, head down. Dempsy went for him again and they rolled, snarling in the dust. “Tear out his fucking throat!” Charlie yelled. More blood from the deadly dance splashed the flattened grass. Dempsy’s? Luka’s? They rolled behind a boulder near the edge of the clearing. Charlie yanked away from Cody, running after them. Dempsy had Luka— No! Luka moved fast, so fast Charlie almost couldn’t follow it, silver fur, green eyes, claws scrabbling, his teeth tearing into Dempsy’s gut, disembowelling him. Dempsy got up, stepped in his intestines, stumbled…then the scarred wolf turned and jumped, a magnificent leap off the bluff, suspended for one second before he disappeared. “It’s over,” Cody said, motioning emphatically to the other wolves. When they shifted, he pointed to the bluff. “Take care of the body of your leader.” They gave him a resentful glare which Cody met, growling softly until they left the clearing quietly. Charlie blinked, unable to believe the fight had ended so quickly. “We’ll wait for you in the truck,” Adrian said. “I’ll take you to the E.R. when you’re ready.” “Luka.”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

96

But Adrian shook his head. “He’s more fortunate than you are. He’ll heal quickly.” Charlie had seen that was true, thank God. He started towards the lone wolf feeling an odd reserve, as if he’d never quite grasped how magical, how different Luka truly was. He was also a menacing sight, his fur spotted with blood, larger than any other wolf Charlie had ever seen. Still, Charlie walked to him, drawn. When he knelt in front of the giant wolf, vulnerable and human, Luka’s green eyes glowed and the next moment he was a man. Charlie reached out and stroked his scarred cheek. “You’re bleeding,” he said softly. Luka nodded. “Coming here wasn’t one of your better ideas, Charlie. I had to fight Dempsy. Some things can’t be avoided.” “I know,” Charlie said even though technically it hadn’t exactly been his idea. But that didn’t matter now, not when Luka was alive, when Charlie had watched him fight and thought he might never again touch and hold him. “How’d you know he’d taken me here?” “Our friend Jean said you called her Mrs. Twinkle,” Luka said. “I knew that was you marking the trail for me. I knew he had you.” “She’s a perceptive lady.” “She works in a bar, Charlie.” Luka leant his forehead against Charlie’s. Luka was trembling and so was Charlie. He didn’t think he could move. He needed this moment to absorb Luka’s closeness. Oh God, he would be all right. “Goes with the territory, right,” Charlie said. “You said Dempsy had other slaves in his pack. We’ll be able to help them now.” Luka’s eyes glowed again, as bright as when he shifted. “My healer. You’ll help them.” “With your help.” He cleared his throat. There was so much he wanted to say. “All that stuff I told myself, that you wouldn’t want me because I was older than you are.” “That’s horseshit,” Luka said. “Yes.” Luka blinked. “I was so afraid of how it was going to hurt when you left me, so I tried to prepare myself but I knew when I saw you fighting Dempsy what it would truly mean to lose you.” Charlie swallowed. “Luka, will you stay on my land and help me take care of my animals and share my bed?”

WOUNDED COWBOY

Jan Irving

97

“Yes, Charlie.” Luka’s voice was hoarse. Charlie’s voice softened to a whisper. “And will you let me come inside you one night and show you how it’s supposed to be when someone loves you?” “Only my mate,” Luka said, holding Charlie’s gaze. “Only the man who marks me.” Charlie sucked in a breath. Luka was laying it all on the line. His good hand slipped over the blood on Luka’s shoulder, breath hot against the skin of Luka’s throat. “My love,” Charlie whispered and then he put his teeth against Luka and as Luka groaned, and crushed him close, he left his mark.

About the Author Jan Irving has worked in all kinds of creative fields, from painting silk to making porcelain ceramics, to interior design, but writing was always her passion. She feels you can’t fully understand characters until you follow their journey through a story world. Many kinds of worlds interest her, fantasy, historical, science fiction and suspense— but all have one thing in common, people finding a way to live together—in the most emotional and erotic fashion possible, of course! Email: [email protected] Jan Irving loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and author biography at http://www.total-e-bound.com.

Also by Jan Irving Saddle Up N Ride: Straight Cowboy Uncommon Cowboys: Shifter Cowboy Uncommon Cowboys: Shy Cowboy

Total-E-Bound Publishing

www.total-e-bound.com Take a look at our exciting range of literagasmic™ erotic romance titles and discover pure quality at Total-E-Bound.