Islam: Questions And Answers - Manners (Part 2)

Islam: Questions And Answers Volume 18 Manners (Part 2)

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Islam: Questions And Answers Volume 18 Manners (Part 2)

Muhammad Saed Abdul-Rahman B.Sc., DipHE

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© Muhammad Saed Abdul-Rahman, 2003 ISBN for all volumes 1 86179 080 5 ISBN for volume 18 paperback 1 86179 341 3 ISBN for volume 18 hardback 1 86179 342 1 ISBN for volume 18 pdf eBook 1 86179 343 X ISBN for volume 18 Microsoft eBook 1 86179 344 8 ISBN for volume 18 Palm eBook 1 86179 345 6 All Rights reserved

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data. A Catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Designed, Typeset and produced by: MSA Publication Limited, 4 Bello Close, Herne Hill, London SE24 9BW United Kingdom

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Contents Introduction .............................................................................. 1 Chapter 1................................................................................... 3 Relationships between the two genders ............................... 3 49024: He wants to look at women in the street with the intention of proposing marriage ........................ 3 36741: Children who have reached the age of ten must be separated in their beds ....................................... 5 45883: He is studying in a mixed university; how should he deal with female teachers and students? .......................................................................... 6 45668: Is what he did to find out about his fiancée correct? ............................................................. 10 40618: Can she uncover her face in front of her sister’s husband? ..................................................... 12 36548: What is the relationship of a woman to the man who has divorced her? ..................................... 14 27329: She has repented from an illicit relationship but she wants to contact him in order to get married to him............................................ 15 39931: He has repented from a relationship with a non-mahram woman but he still loves her and feels attached to her .......................................... 18 20949: Friendship and love between a man and a woman ........................................................................ 20 43104: It is not permissible to shake hands with a non-mahram woman, even from behind a barrier ......................................................................... 23 22101: He married her in order to forget his ex-fiancée; and the ruling on correspondence between the sexes .......................................................... 25 34841: Men and women talking in chat rooms ............. 27 26744: Marrying a woman who is not chaste ............... 29 27304: Ruling on talking to women at work ................. 32 26890: Correspondence between the sexes ................... 35 v

27109: He has repented from a relationship with a woman over the internet ................................................ 36 34685 It is not permissible for a seller to touch the hand of a woman who is buying from him .............. 40 12710: Woman smiling at a non-mahram man ............. 41 33702: He fell in love with a girl then he repented. Can he be friends with her? ........................................... 41 12832: Looking at a young female doctor who is teaching him .............................................................. 44 20784: Dangers of mixing with male cousins and relatives .................................................................. 45 20460: Female doctor treating men ............................... 47 38153: Shaking hands with women in Ramadaan ........ 49 8827: A mixed school is haraam according to sharee’ah ....................................................................... 51 14508: Ruling on shaking hands with an old woman ........................................................................... 56 6398: She wants to marry a person she loves but her family are refusing to let her ............................. 57 22003: His son got to know a girl through chat rooms, and he wants to marry her .......................... 59 21934: She likes our website and wants to help her friend to find a job! ................................................. 62 30791: Prohibition on shaking hands with paternal uncle’s wife even if she is old ......................... 64 11971: He is in love with a Christian woman at the expense of his wife .............................................. 66 1105: Does Islam regard men and women as equal? ........................................................................ 70 2459: Ruling on shaking hands with the opposite sex ................................................................... 80 12663: Ruling on a man kissing or hugging a woman on the grounds of friendship .......................... 82 21608: Ruling on male student shaking hands with a female classmate ................................................ 84 14044: Is a woman sinning if she shakes hands with a man? ................................................................... 86 vi

26304: Is a woman’s voice ‘awrah? .............................. 87 10156: He feels that something is discharged when he talks to women ................................................ 88 13804: A reply to a Christian who denies that the Quran was revealed from Allah ............................... 89 10254: She is attracted to a young man at school and wants a solution ........................................ 100 9280: Rulings concerning women riding with drivers and without a mahram ..................................... 102 3807: Pre-marital relationships are not permissible .................................................................. 103 1114: Ruling on taking boyfriends or girlfriends ........ 105 2013: How to give classes to a mixed group of (teenage) boys and girls .......................................... 109 1774: First and second glance at women .................... 110 Chapter 2............................................................................... 113 Manners of Speaking With Women ................................. 113 45668: Is what he did to find out about his fiancée correct? ........................................................... 113 1497: Manners when talking to women ...................... 115 13791: He wants to talk to a woman before he proposes marriage to her ........................................ 117 13819: Ruling on looking at a female employee for work purposes ........................................................ 120 12608: An example of the dangers of internet chat between the sexes ................................................ 121 13004: Warning and comment on the Peking Women’s Conference .................................................. 123 6118: He is being taught by a female teacher – what should he do? ...................................... 125 7576: Muslim women giving talks in gatherings where non-mahram men are present ........................... 126 12085: He speaks improperly with a woman, with the excuse that he is teaching her ........................ 127 3396: He wants to talk to a girl without saying anything improper ............................................ 129 10221: What is the ruling on girls corresponding vii

with boys? ................................................................... 130 6453: Men and women talking to one another on the internet within the limits of good manners............ 132 1121: Limits and conditions within which a man may speak to a non-mahram woman ................... 135 2105: Contact with a fiancée via the Internet .............. 138 Chapter 3............................................................................... 139 Etiquette of Dreams ......................................................... 139 14096: Seeing Allaah in a dream ................................ 139 14052: He wants to see the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in a dream .................................................................... 142 23367: Seeing the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in a dream .............................. 144 14276: Can a sleeper be aware that he is dreaming? .................................................................... 147 25768: Dreams ............................................................ 150 11731: She sees disturbing dreams, and she imagined having intercourse in her sleep .................... 156 6537: Dreams and dream interpretation ...................... 157 9771: He dreams about a dead relative chasing him ................................................................. 164 Chapter 4............................................................................... 165 Reading Quraan ............................................................... 165 34494: Playing a recording of Qur’aan when putting someone on hold ............................................. 165 20620: Reciting Qur’aan in the bathroom................... 166 2564: Reading Qur’aan during menses ....................... 168 26285: He was listening to the Qur’aan when the phone rang ............................................................. 172 26327: Completing the Qur’aan in Ramadaan ............ 172 1377: Meaning of taghanni (‘reciting in a melodious voice’) in Qur’aan recitation ..................... 175 10119: Saying “Sadaqa Allaah al-‘Azeem” ................ 180 9330: Ruling on reciting the Qur’aan in the manner of singers ........................................................ 183 7966: How to memorize the Holy Qur’aan ................. 183 viii

1080: Appointing someone to supervise each halaqah in order to correct mistakes............................ 188 4041: Ruling on gathering to recite the Du’aa’ for completing the Qur’aan ......................................... 189 Chapter 5............................................................................... 191 Etiquette of Hospitality .................................................... 191 34851: Ruling on students standing up for the teacher ......................................................................... 191 34497: Ruling on standing up for who comes in, and kissing him ...................................................... 192 13776: Ruling on standing up to welcome a newcomer .................................................................... 198 14578: When a person enters upon other people, does he greet the oldest first or the youngest? ............ 200 Chapter 6............................................................................... 201 Adaab al-Safar (Etiquette of Travel) ................................ 201 34464: Visiting the Prophet’s Mosque ........................ 201 Chapter 7............................................................................... 205 Etiquette of Marriage ....................................................... 205 12529: Is it permissible to engage in coitus interruptus or to use a condom? .................................. 205 5560: Etiquette of intimate relations ........................... 206 13518: Younger brother getting married before older brother ................................................................ 214 11446: How should an Islamic wedding party be? ..... 216 8866: Is it makrooh to have intercourse facing the direction of the qiblah? .......................................... 218 7838: Her husband forces her to have intercourse during menstruation .................................................... 219 1696: What should a man say when he enters upon his bride? ............................................................ 221 854: What should a Muslim do when he wants to consummate his marriage? ...................................... 222 2375: When should one pray two rak’ahs with one’s bride? ................................................................. 225 1202: What is Said Just Prior to Intercourse ............... 226 1103: Ruling on Intercourse with a Woman in ix

her rectum .................................................................... 227 Chapter 8............................................................................... 230 Brotherhood in Islam ....................................................... 230 34621: Can a person say to his friend “Ya Khaleeli (O my close friend)”? ............................ 230 12477: Muslims in Britain .......................................... 232 21530: Can a Muslim be a sincere friend to a kaafir? ....................................................................... 233 11592: He wants to refer his claim against a Muslim to a kaafir court ........................................... 235 7837: How can we support our brothers who are in need or who have suffered disasters? ................ 236 173: Love for the sake of Allah ................................... 238 Chapter 9............................................................................... 240 Names and Nicknames ..................................................... 240 23273: How important is it for a new Muslim to change his name? .................................................... 240 6620: Should he change his wife’s name Sahira? ....... 241 14622: Is it obligatory to change one’s name if its meaning is not good? .......................................... 243 14626: Does changing one’s name change the divine decree? ........................................................ 246 12617: Does a Christian woman have to give her child from her Muslim boyfriend a Muslim name? .......................................................... 247 21359: How the name affects the child ....................... 249 31245: When naming a girl Fatimah it is not essential to add any another name to that .................... 251 13961: The meaning of the name ‘Aa’ishah ............... 252 13778: Mentioning husband’s or wife’s name in front of people ......................................................... 253 11195: He committed adultery and his conscience is troubling him, and he wants to get rid of the foetus ..................................................... 257 11078: There is nothing wrong with calling a girl Meera ................................................................. 263 11368: Does a name have any effect on a x

person’s character? ...................................................... 264 12350: Is it permissible to use the name ‘Uzayr/Uzair? .............................................................. 265 9142: He intended to give his son a certain name; is there any blame on him if he changes the name? .................................................................... 266 9994: Ruling on giving names from aayahs of the Qur’aan .................................................................. 267 12625: Using the word “Sayyid”................................. 267 5967: His parents admitted to him that he was conceived in zinaa. Whose name should he take? ...... 269 638: Changing one’s lineage in order to obtain nationality of a state for certain benefits ..................... 270 10345: He wants to call his son or daughter ‘Arafaah or Mina ......................................................... 271 11228: Ruling on calling a child Malaak .................... 272 10030: Is it permissible to use the name Qaasim? ....................................................................... 273 7180: Etiquette of naming children ............................. 274 6195: She doesn’t know her father’s name, so should she take her mother’s name? ....................... 280 6241: Why a woman should not take her husband’s surname ...................................................... 281 6239: Naming a boy Abu Bakr .................................... 284 5434: Meaning of the name Sameer............................ 286 4362: Woman taking her husband’s surname after marriage .............................................................. 286 3231: His name is Rasheed. Does he have to change it? .................................................................... 287 3093: Should she change her name after becoming Muslim so that she can go for Hajj? ........... 288 2413: Giving the name Hessa to a baby girl ............... 289 2613: When calling an illegitimate child after his mother will cause harm ......................................... 290 2537: It is haraam for a wife to take her husband’s name ........................................................... 291 284: How a new Muslim should change his name ...... 292 xi

1041: A girl calling the one who is taking care of her “Abi” (“My Father” or “Daddy”) ...................... 293 1942: Taking a family name other than that of one’s father (or attributing oneself to someone other than one’s father)................................................ 295 1783: Calling oneself by one of Allaah’s names in ignorance ................................................................. 297 1692: Names whose use is forbidden .......................... 298 372: Obligation of changing one’s name upon accepting Islaam .......................................................... 303 122 Changing one’s name upon accepting Islam ........ 304 135: Ruling on naming humans with the names of angels ...................................................................... 307

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Introduction Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds, and peace and blessings be upon His last Messenger, Prophet Muhammad, and on his family and his companions. This book, Manners (Part 2), is the eighteenth volume of a series of authoritative Islamic books entitled Islam: Questions And Answers. The overall series discusses issues relevant to Islam, and present accurate and reliable information based on the true beliefs and practices of the Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) and his companions. The objectives of the various books include: to teach and familiarize Muslims with various aspects of their religion to be a source for guiding people to Islam to assist in solving the social and personal problems of the Muslims in an Islamic context The books are directed towards Muslims and non-Muslims alike. Subject areas include, but are not limited to, Islamic fiqh and jurisprudence, Islamic history, Islamic social laws (including marriage, divorce, contracts, and inheritance), Islamic finance, basic tenets and aqeedah of the Islamic faith and tawheed, and Arabic grammar as it relates to the Qur'an and Islamic texts. The books are compilations of questions and responses about Islam, from both Muslims and Non-Muslims. The responses are handled mainly by internationally re-nowned Islamic shaykhs and scholars, including Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, Ibn Katheer, al-Albaani, Shaykh Ibn Baaz, Ibn al-Jawzi, Ibn al-Qayyim, Al‘Izz ibn ‘Abd al-Salaam, al-Nawawi, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem, al Khudayr, Al-Dhahabi, al-Qurtubi, Al-Sindi, al-Shawkaani and al-Bastawi using only authentic, scholarly sources based on the Qur'an and sunnah. References, which include Haashiyat Ibn Maajah, Sharh Saheeh Muslim, Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 1

Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth al-Da’eefah, Al-Mawsoo’ah fi Ahaadeeth al-Mahdi al-Da’eefah wa’l-Mawdoo’ah, Al-Manaar al-Muneef and Fataawa Islamiyyah, are provided where appropriate in the responses. The book provides the reader with cross references of other pertinent responses not necessarily in the same volume, but also in other volumes of the series. However, each volume is complete in itself. The book records accurately the answers the contributing Sheikhs and scholars gave to the questions put to them. These are not necessarily the answers which other sheikhs and scholars would have given. Depending on circumstances, for example, Islam permits different solutions to some questions The book also provides the reader with cross-references to other pertinent responses not necessarily in the same volume, but also in other volumes of the series. However, each volume is complete in itself. It is intended that this present series of Books will cover the following subject areas (insha-Allah): Aqeedah (Basic Tenets of Faith); Usool ul-Fiqh (Science of evidence that serve as basis for Fiqh), Fiqh (Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings), Da'wah (Inviting others to Islam), Aadaab (Manners), Akhlaaq (Character and Morals), Tareekh wa ul Seerah (Islamic history and biography), Tarbiyyah (Pedagogy, education, and upbringing) and Mashakil Nafsiyah wa Ijtimaa'yah (Psychological & Social Problems). May Allah reward the owners and maintainers of www.islamqa.com for granting me full, exclusive, assignable and transferable rights to use and display all the questions and answers needed for the compilation of these books. May Allah grant everyone involved in the promotion of this project good in this world and the Hereafter and protection from the fire of hell.

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Chapter 1 Relationships between the two genders 49024: He wants to look at women in the street with the intention of proposing marriage Question: I live in a kaafir country where there is a lot of temptation. I want to get married and I am looking for a wife with certain features, especially beauty. I know that it is permissible to look at women with the intention of proposing marriage; is it permissible for me to look at women in the street in order to choose the one to whom I will propose marriage? Is it permissible, if I choose some girl and I like her and want to be sure that my family (who live in another country) will like her, to show her to a friend of mine even if it is for a few seconds?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible to look at women in the street, because Allaah has commanded the believers to lower their gaze. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is AllAware of what they do” [al-Noor 24:30] If a person opens this door to himself, that is a dangerous 3

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matter. At first the Shaytaan makes the idea of proposing marriage attractive to him, until this becomes a regular habit, then he looks at women with no intention of proposing marriage, rather just for the purpose of looking at their beauty. The man who wants to get married should not look at the unveiled women in the street, especially in that kaafir country where most of the people are kaafirs or immoral. Rather he should ask virtuous and knowledgeable people about virtuous and righteous women, and approach the matter in the proper manner. With regard to looking at women in the street, this is looking at their external beauty only, not their inward beauty which is more important than outward beauty. What is the point if a man marrying the most beautiful of women if she is lacking in good attitude and religious commitment? You should check yourself and review the qualities that you want in the woman you choose to marry, the most important of which is that she should be religiously committed and have a good attitude. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, or her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466) The purpose of marriage is not merely to satisfy one’s desires and enjoy intimacy, so that the man need care about nothing more than beauty; rather marriage is more sublime than that. So you should study the true qualities of your potential life-partner, those qualities that will make your life happy and calm, not a temporary happiness that will 4

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disappear as desire fades, leaving nothing but trouble and sadness after that. And Allaah knows best. It is not permissible for you to show your friend the women to whom you propose marriage, and it is not permissible for him to look at her. A man should have protective jealousy (gheerah) concerning his wife and his honour. The Sahaabah were impressed by the strong gheerah of Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah (may Allaah be pleased with him), and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Are you amazed by the gheerah of Sa’d? I have more gheerah than him, and Allaah has more gheerah than me.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6846; Muslim, 1499. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 36741: Children who have reached the age of ten must be separated in their beds Question: Is it permissible for me to sleep beside my friend with only one blanket when we do not have anything else to protect us from the cold, or if there are two blankets but they do not protect against the cold unless they are used together?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for two who have reached the age of puberty to sleep together under one blanket. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Teach 5

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your children to pray when they are seven years old and smack them if they do not do so when they are ten years old, and separate them in their beds.” Narrated by Ahmad, 6689; Abu Dawood, 495; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. If this is the ruling concerning those who are ten years old, then how about those who are older than that, who should not be in one bed but rather should be in two separate beds with two separate blankets? If there are only two covers and one of them is not sufficient to ward off the cold, then each person should take one cover and fold it in half so that it will be thicker and will ward off the cold, or he should buy another blanket. Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said concerning a number of people sleeping in one bed: It was proven via another isnaad that this is subject to the condition that they do not sleep under one blanket. Fath al-Baari, 7/204. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 45883: He is studying in a mixed university; how should he deal with female teachers and students? Question: I am a young man who is religiously committed. I am studying in a mixed university and I would like to develop my specialty further, but that requires me to interact in class, which will open channels of communication between me and other students. In addition to that there are female teachers who teach us very important subjects. How should I interact with the female students and teachers?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 6

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Studying in mixed schools, institutes and universities is not permitted. The evils that exist in these institutions because of that mixing are no secret, let alone the fact that people do not learn much, if anything, in these institutions. Wise people even in kaafir countries have called for segregation between the sexes in educational institutions because of the moral damage they have noticed and the weakening of educational standards. Trustworthy have scholars have issued fatwas stating that this kind of education is not permissible. The scholars of the Standing Committee said: It is haraam for male and female students and teachers to mix in educational institutions, because of the fitnah and provocation of desires and immoral conduct that results from that. The gravity of the sin is compounded if the female teachers and students uncover any part of their ‘awrahs or wear see-through or tight clothing, or if the students or teachers flirt or joke together, which may lead to transgression of limits and violation of honour. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/102, 103 Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: Is it permissible for a man to study in a mixed university where men and women mix in one classroom, knowing that the student has a role to play in calling people to Allaah? He replied: What I think is that it is not permissible for anyone, man or woman, to study in a mixed school, because of the grave danger that it poses to his chastity, integrity and morals. No matter how great a person’s integrity, morals and innocence, if a woman is sitting beside him on the 7

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seat – especially if she is beautiful and unveiled – he can hardly avoid fitnah and evil. Everything that leads to fitnah and evil is also haraam and is not permitted. We ask Allaah to keep our Muslim brothers safe from such things which will only bring evil, fitnah and corruption to their youth. If there is no other university apart from this one, he should go and study in another city or country where this mixing does not happen. I do not think that this is permissible but others may have a different opinion. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/103 We have already discussed the ruling on mixing in detail in the answer to question no. 1200. See also the answers to questions no. 8827, 22397 and 6666. This is easy those who do not have the problem of mixed schools in their country or who have access to colleges and universities that are not mixed, so they have no need to study in mixed colleges. But there remains the question of those who are faced with the problem of mixed schools in their countries. What should they do, especially if that will affect their chances of earning a living or of getting married in the future, since if they do not study in these colleges they will not be able to find a job or get married. In this case, there is no option, and the need is great, and when the need is great, the matter may come under the heading of necessity. This necessity may be taken into consideration, provided that the following conditions are met: 1- That there be no other place where he can study, even if it is in another country 2- That he cannot obtain this certificate by means of distance learning or studying via the internet, for example 8

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3- That he goes to study in these mixed places seeking the help of Allaah to confront fitnah. He should take care to lower his gaze as much as he can and not touch or shake hands with non-mahram women or be alone with them, and he should not sit right next to them. He should advise the girls to sit away from the boys and adhere to other Islamic guidelines as well. 4- If he notices himself slipping towards haraam things and being tempted by those of the opposite sex who are with him, then the soundness of his religious commitment is more important than any worldly aims, so he has to leave the place immediately and Allaah will make him independent of means by His bounty. And Allaah is the One Whose help we seek. And Allaah knows best. There follows a list of colleges and universities that are not mixed: 1- The Medical College in Dubai 2- Al-Azhar University in Egypt 3- The Imam Muhammad ibn Sa’ood Islamic University in Saudi 4- Umm al-Qura University in Makkah al-Mukarramah 5- The Islamic University in Madeenah al-Munawwarah 6- The King Sa’ood University in Saudi. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)

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45668: Is what he did to find out about his fiancée correct? Question: I have a cousin (daughter of my maternal aunt) who seems to be religiously committed and of good character, but I do not know much about her personality and outlook on life, or how well we would get along. I used the internet as a means to get to know her, whilst being very careful to adhere to proper etiquette, especially since we come from a conservative family. Praise be to Allaah, I reached the decision to marry her in sha Allah, but it may take two years or more until I am ready, because I am still a student in the last year of university. My question is: Is what I did permissible? Especially since it went on for nearly a year, because the customs of marriage in our society do not allow one partner to get to know the character of the other until they get engaged, but after that if it becomes clear that the two are not compatible and they cancel the engagement, that will lead to problems and severing of family ties. I feel worried about what I did and I am afraid that it may be considered a sin or an act of treachery. It is permissible to continue our correspondence until I come and propose marriage to her?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible to correspond or converse with a nonmahram woman. If a man intends to propose marriage then he should follow the Islamically-prescribed means of doing so. If the woman whom he wants to marry is one of his relatives, then it should be more straightforward because either he will knows about her or he will be able to find out about her from the women of his own family. 10

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It is not possible for a man or a woman to find out about the real character of one another through correspondence and conversing before marriage, because neither of them will show anything but their best side. Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen was asked: If a man corresponds with a woman and they fall in love, is this regarded as a haraam action? He replied: This action is not permitted, because it provokes desire between them and makes them hope to meet and get in touch. This often leads to temptation and sows the seeds of zina in the heart, which leads to immoral actions or the things that lead to them. We advise all those who want to protect themselves to avoid corresponding and the like, so as to protect their religious commitment and their honour. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/578, 579 We have already stated that correspondence between the two sexes is haraam, in the answers to questions no. 26890 and 10221. It is permissible for the man who has proposed marriage to look at his fiancée, without being alone with her or shaking hands with her. So you could do the marriage contract and delay consummation of the marriage, so that your meeting with her will be acceptable according to sharee’ah, and during this period you could focus on getting to know her more and more. In the answer to question no. 7492 there is an important discussion of this matter. See also the answers to questions no. 7757, 2572 and 11

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20069 to find out more about the limits of the relationship between a man and his fiancée. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 40618: Can she uncover her face in front of her sister’s husband? Question: My sister’s husband sleeps in our house sometimes and sometimes he stays all day, and I cannot cover my face in front of him. Am I sinning thereby? What is the solution?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Your sister’s husband is a stranger (non-mahram) to you, and you have to cover your face in front of him and not be alone with him. Similarly it is haraam for him to look at you or to be alone with you. Unfortunately people are careless in their homes with regard to the in-laws, even though sharee’ah speaks strongly concerning them more than others, because people mix freely with them in their houses and the family members trust them. It was narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the in-law?” He said: “The in-law is death.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172. The in-law is the husband’s relative. 12

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We notice here that the Sahaabi wanted to make an exception in the case of the husband’s relatives, but the ruling was re-emphasized in the strongest terms, because no one regards it as strange if he enters the house. Al-Nawawi said: With regard to the Prophet’s words, “The in-law is death,” what this means is that the fear in his case is greater than in the case of others, and evil is expected on his part and the fitnah (temptation) is greater, because he is able to reach the woman and be alone with her with no one denouncing him, unlike the stranger or non-mahram. What is meant by the in-law here is the husband’s relatives, except for his father/grandfather and sons/grandsons.His father/grandfather and sons/grandsons are mahrams of the wife and it is permissible for them to be alone with her; they are not described as “death”. Rather what is meant here is the brother, nephew, uncle, cousin and others who are not mahrams. People customarily take things lightly with regard to them, so a man will often be alone with his brother’s wife. This is what is described as death and it is more important that he be stopped than a stranger, for the reasons we have mentioned above. What I have mentioned is the correct meaning of the hadeeth… Ibn al-A’raabi said: This is something that the Arabs say, as in the phrase al-asad al-mawt (the lion is death), because meeting it is like dying. Al-Qaadi said: What is meant is that being alone with the in-laws leads to fitnah (temptation) and the destruction of one’s religious commitment, so this is described as being akin to the destruction of death. Sharh Muslim, 14/154. We advise this sister and others to fear Allaah and strive to wear proper hijaab in front of non-mahram men. Please see also questions no. 13728, 6408, 13261 13

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And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 36548: What is the relationship of a woman to the man who has divorced her? Question: Is it permissible for me to go out with my ex-husband in the company of our children on occasion, so that they can be together with both parents like other children. That is done is public places. Also, he does not pray – is the money that he spends on them haraam?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If a man has issued the last of three talaaqs (divorces), or he has divorced her once or twice and her ‘iddah has ended, then she becomes a stranger (non-mahram) to him, and it is not permissible for her to be alone with him or to touch her or to look at her. The relationship of an ex-husband with his ex-wife is like his relationship with any other non-mahram woman. The fact that they have children does not justify his looking at her, being alone with her or travelling with her. He can go out with his children without her being there, or she can be present with one of her mahrams, without doing any of the haraam things that we have mentioned. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: A thrice-divorced woman is a stranger (non-mahram) to 14

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the man like any other non-mahram woman, so the man does not have the right to be alone with her, just as he does not have the right to be alone with any non-mahram woman. And he cannot see of her what he cannot see of any non-mahram woman, and there are no special rulings concerning the relationship between them (other than the rulings governing all interactions between non-mahrams). Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/349. With regard to accepting what the divorced husband spends on his children, there is no reason not to do so, even if he does not pray. She should remind her children of the importance of advising their father to pray, and may Allaah guide him through this advice. If the mother fears that her children may be adversely affected by their kaafir father or that he may lead them to do something that Allaah has forbidden, it is not permissible for her to allow them to go out with him, because their going out with him is causing them harm. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 27329: She has repented from an illicit relationship but she wants to contact him in order to get married to him Question: I have recently started wearing hijjab al hamdilla and since then i have realized how dead iw as before hijjab.. This hijaab is a responsibility i have taken and i am trying my best to become a better muslim Before hijjab i knew this boy and we liked each other .. i know relationships are haram .. but then i wasn’t aware 15

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of right and wrong.. well.. hamdilla we never did zina.. i am now 3rd year university and he is 4th he is mutdayin now too.. even if i dont talk to guys anymore.. i will always have feelings for him and i wish he would propose to me or at leat he would tell me something that will make me wait.. but that isnt possible unless if i email him or try to contact him.. so.. my question is .. if i write him and emaling asking him if i should wait for him to propose or not.. will itbe haram? i want to marry him 3al sunat Allah wa rasooloh.. and i think maybe he thinks i don’t like him anymore.. so please let me know if i should send an email or not.. he is a very muhtaram respectable man and he too doesnt talk to girls anymore. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: It is well known in the religion of Allaah that it is forbidden to follow in the footsteps of the Shaytaan, and that all the steps that may lead to falling into something haraam are forbidden, even if they are permitted in principle. This is what the scholars call “preventing the means (that lead to haraam).” The basic principle of sharee’ah is that when Allaah forbids a thing, He also forbids the ways and means that lead to it, so that it may indeed be forbidden. We are happy when we hear of or see someone who has come back to Allaah and to His religion after having lost their way, but at the same time we fear that the Shaytaan may make what they used to do when they were astray attractive to them, thus preventing them from following guidance and making them go astray again. 16

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Obviously this is what we fear for the sister who asked this question and for her former friend who has also repented. Hence we cannot condone her idea of getting back in touch with the one with whom she had a relationship before she was guided, even if that is on the basis of wanting to get married according to sharee’ah. For a non-mahram woman to be in touch with a person with whom it is not permissible for her to be in touch leads to evil consequences which are obvious to any wise person. Hence Allaah has forbidden establishing relationships and taking close female friends. We have already posted some of the fatwas of the scholars on this issue. See questions no. 23349, 20949and 10221. Secondly: With regard to the answer to your question, which may be summed up as: Is it permissible for a woman to propose marriage to a man or to tell him that she wants to marry him? The answer is that in sharee’ah the word khutbah (proposal) refers to the man asking the woman. See question no. 20069. If a woman wants to marry some man, there is nothing wrong with her sending someone whose religious commitment and honesty she trusts to offer her in marriage to him, as Khadeejah (may Allaah be pleased with her) did when she heard of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and saw his good attitude and trustworthiness, and wanted to marry him. So she sent one of her relatives to offer her to him in marriage, and he agreed to marry her. Based on this, we say to the sister who asked this question: If you want to marry this young man, and he has a good attitude and is religiously committed, then there is nothing wrong with suggesting marriage to him through a trustworthy relative of yours. 17

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You should avoid getting in touch with him or with any other non-mahram men, because of the fitnah (temptation) involved in that. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 39931: He has repented from a relationship with a nonmahram woman but he still loves her and feels attached to her Question: I am a young man who had a relationship with a girl, but I did not commit any haraam action with her. I know that what I did is not permissible according to sharee’ah, so I ended my contact with her and she accepted that. But I cannot forget her. I love her very much but I cannot marry her, and I often meet her. Is there any means of ridding myself of these feelings and forgetting this girl? I am confused and my confusion may cause me to make a mistake.

Answer: Praise be to Allaah. We have already explained in the answers to more than one question that it is haraam for a man to have a relationship with a non-mahram woman outside the framework of marriage. See the answer to question no. 23349 and 9465. The haraam things that the people who have these relationships fall into include: betrayal, being alone with 18

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a non-mahram member of the opposite sex, touching and looking; these are the ways that lead to falling into the sin of zina (fornication, adultery). This is in addition to the harmful effects it has on the heart, causing confusion and distracting it from the purpose for which it was created. You say that you still meet this girl, and the results of these meetings are obvious to anyone with common sense. You have to persist in your repentance from your former relationship with her, and cut off all ties with this girl. The solution to such a problem is to marry this girl, thus foiling the Shaytaan and protecting yourself from falling into sin. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “We do not think there is anything better for two who love one another than marriage.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah, 1847. What this hadeeth means is that the greatest remedy for treating love is marriage, because this is the only cure for it. See Fayd al-Qadeer by al-Mannaawi, 295. But you say that you cannot marry her, so you have no choice other than to be patient, strive to control your nafs (self), and keep yourself busy so that you will not think of her. Your marriage to someone else may be the means of your forgetting her, and you should avoid meeting her as much as you can. You should know that the life of this world is very short, and the shortest thing in this life is haraam pleasure and the moments in which a person disobeys his Lord. But the joy of the Hereafter will last forever, so how can a smart person like you sacrifice that eternal joy for a moment of brief pleasure that will blacken the record of his deeds? 19

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You should know that Allaah may decree death for you when you are alone with her, so how will you meet your Lord in such a state? What will you leave behind of shame and scandal for your family and for hers? You should know that Allaah may punish you through your daughter or sister, because you were content to besmirch the honour of another, so you may expect the punishment of Allaah in this world rather than the Hereafter. Allaah protects the family and children of the righteous Muslim by means of his righteousness, but if a man is corrupt the only result can be is that his family and sons and daughters will be corrupt too. How can it be otherwise when he has set them the example by his own actions? There is no way to forget about this girl except by filling your heart with the love of Allaah and fear of His punishment, and trying to keep the blessing of Allaah from being diminished because of this sin. Think about the consequences of this action whether in this world or in the Hereafter. Hasten to give up this sin and seek the reward for that with Allaah, so that you will then see – in sha Allaah – the blessings of faith, piety and delight in worship that your Lord will bestow upon you. And Allaah is the Guide to the Straight Path. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 20949: Friendship and love between a man and a woman Question: I know keeping girlfriend will destroy the family and so on but what if we were just friends secretly were no one knew. this way we will we will stay togethr until marraige and we can garentee we wont perform any zinna. are there any cases in the old times of love . 20

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: Taking a girlfriend does not only destroy the family, it destroys society, and those who do this are threatened with the punishment and wrath of Allaah. Love is a sickness that destroys the heart and leads to evil and immorality. The Shaytaan will keep tempting them and pushing them until they commit immoral actions and thus each gets what he or she wants from the other. There are many forbidden matters associated with this, such as transgressing against the honour of others, betraying trust, being alone with a member of the opposite sex, touching, kissing, speaking immoral words, then the greater evil which occurs at the end, which is the sin of zina. The fact that the questioner says “no one knows about us” is strange. How can he forget about his Lord Who knows what is secret and what is yet more hidden, and who knows the fraud of the eyes and all that the hearts conceal. (cf. Ghaafir 40:19). Our advice to you, as you are still young, is to discipline yourself to obey Allaah and always remember that He is watching; fear Allaah concerning people’s honour; strive for the Day when you will meet your Lord with your deeds; remember the scandal that may happen in this world and the Hereafter. Remember that you have sisters and will have a wife and daughters, so would you like for one of them what you are doing with the daughters of the Muslims? The answer is that you would certainly not like it, and other people do not like it either. Remember that you may see the results of your sin in some of your family members as a punishment to you from your Lord. 21

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You have to look for righteous friends, and you have to keep yourself busy doing that which Allaah loves and is pleased with. Pay attention to the best and most sublime things and leave alone the worst and most vile things. Make the most of your youth in obeying and worshipping Allaah, seeking knowledge and calling others to Allaah. Remember that there were those of your age and younger who were men who had memorized the Qur’aan, who sought knowledge, whom the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent to call others to Allaah and to enter the religion of Islam. We advise you to get married to a righteous, religiouslycommitted woman who will help you adhere to your religion and encourage you to adhere to the laws of Allaah, who will look after your children and bring them up with good morals and religious commitment. Give up this woman who agrees to go out with a man who is a stranger to her (a non-mahram) and meet him and talk to him; if she agrees to do immoral actions now then what is going to prevent her from continuing to do so in the future? Remember that you are angering your Lord with such sins as being alone with her, meeting her and talking to her, and anything more than that is even more serious. You should realize that zina does not only involve the private parts, rather the eyes may commit zina, the ears may commit zina, the hand may commit zina and the foot may commit zina, as was proven from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). All of that leads to the zina of the private parts. So do not let the Shaytaan deceive you, for he is an enemy to you who wishes you evil and tells you to commit immoral actions. Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen said: Contact between lovers in improper and unlawful ways is a calamity and a real disaster. It is not permissible for 22

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the man to contact the woman in this case, or for the woman to contact the man. If he says that he wants to marry her, then he must tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them). But if the woman contacts the man directly, this is the source of fitnah (temptation). As’ilat al-Baab il-Maftooh (Question no. 868). Secondly: With regard to your question about such forbidden relationships in the ancient love stories, the fact that such stories existed among those who came before us cannot be taken as proof with regard to shar’i rulings, because the rulings of sharee’ah having to do with what is forbidden and what is allowed are to be taken from the shar’i evidence of the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and the commands and prohibitions contained therein. Some of those mentioned in these stories came before Islam, such as ‘Antarah and others, and such stories are to be found in other cultures as is well known. But we cannot take shar’i rulings from this because Islam came to bring people forth from being controlled by their desires to complete submission to Allaah the Lord of the Worlds. We ask Allaah to guide us and you and to give us strength. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 43104: It is not permissible to shake hands with a nonmahram woman, even from behind a barrier Question: Is it permissible to greet woman by shaking hands if they 23

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put part of their hijab over the hand of the man who is greeting them?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for a man to touch in greeting the hand of a woman who is not his mahram, even if she covers her hand with her garment, because of the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh from ‘Urwah, from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her), in which she told the story of how the women gave their bay’ah (oath of allegiance) to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). She said: “No, by Allaah, his hand never touched the hand of any woman when accepting the oath of allegiance, all he said was, ‘I accept your oath of allegiance on this basis.’” And Ahmad narrated with a saheeh isnaad from Umaymah bint Raqeeqah that she said: “I came to the Messenger of Allaah (S) with other women to give the oath of allegiance to him, and he accepted our pledge to abide by what is in the Qur’aan… We said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, will you not shake hands with us?’ He said, ‘I do not shake hands with women. Rather what I say to a hundred woman is what I would say to one woman.’” And we have in the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) the best example. The One Who sent him said (interpretation of the meaning): “Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah (Muhammad) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes for (the Meeting with) Allaah and the Last Day, and remembers Allaah much” [al-Ahzaab 33:21] 24

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And Allaah is the source of strength. Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wa’l-Ifta’, 17/30. (www.islam-qa.com) 22101: He married her in order to forget his ex-fiancée; and the ruling on correspondence between the sexes Question: My husband came home from work and told me he did not want to be married any more because he wants to be alone and than we went to Jumah. That Tue. After having intercourse he told me his ex fiancé found him by e-mail, a week prior. He allowed me to see the e-mail she sent him. To my surprise there was more than 1. They were emailing each other but he did not tell me that. In the emails they were discussing each other’s body parts. He was calling her everyday that he had to work & said he will not loose her again. He said he married me for two reasons. He didn’t want anyone else to have me & thinking it would get her out of his system but it did not and he has been looking for her since and now they have found each other. He has giving the girl our mailing address as well and she has used it. I spoke with her asking if she would not bother with him. She told me he is a free man. I know he is allowed up to 4 wives. He has his name on a list with the high school graduated from so that other people can get in touch with him. So far 3 females has found him. I would like to know if it is okay for my husband to have female friends and they are all non-Muslims. Please help me. Sometimes I feel he doesn’t want me for the right reasons. We are overseas and she is in the states & now he wants to go back. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 25

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Allaah has made marriage one of His signs, and has created love and compassion between the spouses, and He has made each spouse a garment for the other. The basic principle regarding marriage is that it should be lasting: it is not permissible for either spouse to go against the purpose of marriage. Your husband should have feared Allaah and had a good intention before embarking on marriage. So long as he married you with your consent and all the conditions of marriage were fulfilled, then your marriage is valid and there is no doubt about it. It is also haraam for him to establish relationships with women who are “strangers” to him [i.e., non-mahrams] and to correspond with them, so how about if that correspondence also involves obscene words such as words of love and romance? See the answer to question no, 23349. With regard to yourself, why don’t you speak frankly with your husband and advise him? That may bring him back to his senses. Or you could ask some good people to intervene and advise him. If he cannot forget her, then it is permissible for him, according to Islam, to marry her if she is a kitaabi [one of the People of the Book, i.e., a Jew or a Christian], subject to the condition that he repents from having had haraam relationships and he comes back to being chaste. In that way he will protect himself from falling into haraam actions. Allaah permits Muslim men to marry chaste women from among the People of the Book (Jews and Christians). You have to be patient and not hasten to separate from him. Perhaps if you stay with him and are patient with him, and keep on advising him, that may be the cause of his being guided and coming back to his senses. 26

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If he insists on separating and continuing to do haraam things, then you should not feel bad about it and should not be keen to stay with him. Whatever the case, we ask Allaah to guide us and you and him and give us strength. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 34841: Men and women talking in chat rooms Question: I am a sister, who usually logs in to Paltalk and then goes to the Islamic rooms so that I may gain some knowledge related to our religion. Sometimes while I am in one of those Islamic rooms in Paltalk,a muslim brother(looking for a wife) in the room asks me to have a private written chat with him so that we get to know one another. Some of the questions he asks me are: where i live, my age, whether i am married(by the way I am not married), if I am planning to get marry, whether I live with my parents, and so on. My problem is, I don’t know whether I am allowed(Islamicly) to give non-muharim brother those kinds of informations which related to me. Is it really SIN to talk to a brother in writing ??. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There is nothing wrong with a Muslim woman making use of the internet and entering the Paltalk website for that purpose, so long as that does not lead to anything that is forbidden in Islam, such as talking privately with men. That is because talking to men may turn into chat which usually leads temptation. Hence it is essential to

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be strict and avoid that, seeking the pleasure of Allaah and fearing His punishment. How often have these conversations lead to bad results, and even caused people to fall in love, and have led some to do things that are even more serious than that. The Shaytaan makes each of them imagine attractive qualities in other, which leads them to develop an attachment that detrimental to their spiritual welfare and worldly affairs. Sharee’ah blocks all the ways that may lead to fitnah (temptation, trial), hence it forbids softness of speech and does not allow a man to be alone with a non-mahram woman. Undoubtedly these private chats are not regarded as khulwah in the sense that he people involved cannot see one another, but they are one of the greatest causes of fitnah as is well known. What has happened to you is the best testimonial to the truth of what we are saying, because it is difficult for a man to ask these personal questions of a believing woman, unless he uses these means that are being used in a bad way. Fear Allaah, and do not speak to non-mahram men. This is safer for your religious commitment and purer for your heart. You should note that marriage to a righteous man is a blessing from Allaah, and a blessing cannot be acquired by means of sin. Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and women, if this correspondence is free from immorality and love? He replied: It is not permissible for any man to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the fitnah 28

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(temptation) involved in that. A person may think that there is no fitnah, but the Shaytaan will keep trying until he tempts him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded those who heard of the Dajjaal to keep away from him, and said that a man may approach him as a believer, but the Dajjaal will keep trying until he leads him astray. Correspondence between young men and women involves a great deal of fitnah and danger, so we must avoid it, even though the questioner says that this correspondence is free from immorality and love. From Fataawa al-Mar’ah, compiled by Muhammad alMusnad, p. 96. Undoubtedly correspondence via chat rooms is more dangerous than correspondence by mail, but both are bad. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 26744: Marrying a woman who is not chaste Question: I am in state of confusion. I am engaged, i love my fiancee however before engage, she used to act like Canadian girls which i knew but smoked cigarette etc while she was in high school I did not know. When we got engaged she told me that she loved and was crazy about this guy but never had a boyfriend, she used to hung around with rougth bad and black guys just like friends and she is virgin, she escaped so many school days and the reason is that she used sat with friend in the back of school or in their house watching Indian movies and used smoke because her friend led her to this path. However, she 29

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stopped everything after we got engaged. But I did not liked these things she said and i start disliking her little by little because i thought she is lying to me. The quesiton is i always thougth to myself that a girl like her being so open to guys, wearing open cloths and her parenth did not care much how come she would not have a boyfriend(in this easthern society)it is impossible. As a result, everyday i start to hate(dislike) her and we had alot of fights. As a result, i used to worked in a restaurant and there, i meet a girl and right after a week i sleep with her for one night, i don’t know how it happened but it did. I repent for my bad deeds because i see my fiancee is very sincere to me after we have engaged. My question is brother, what should i do, how i could solve this issue in my life. I really need help?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If the women was as you describe before you got engaged, then it is not permissible to marry her unless she repents sincerely for the sake of Allaah, not for the purpose of getting engaged to you. If you see that she has repented and regrets what she did, and that she is serious about keeping away from non-mahram men and avoiding being alone with them, then it is permissible for you to marry her. My advice to you is to look for a righteous and chaste women, for a righteous wife will bring you happiness in this world and will be one of the means of your salvation in the Hereafter, because she will one day be the mother of your children, and she will guard your honour and your wealth, and in that way there will be the love, compassion and tranquility that form the basis of marital happiness. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 30

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“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy” [al-Room 30:21] The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women are married for four reasons: wealth, beauty, lineage and religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3/ 242; Muslim, 2/1086. According to another hadeeth: “This world is temporary pleasures and the best of the temporary pleasures of this world is a righteous wife.” Narrated by Muslim, 2668. With regard to what you mention about what happened with that other girl, praise be to Allaah for having enabled you to repent. This is the bounty of Allaah towards you. You have to strive to control yourself and avoid the things which lead to such serious consequences. We wish to point out that repentance must be for the sake of Allaah, not for the sake of your fiancée and so that she will be sincere towards you. So we advise you to renew your repentance and to pray for forgiveness and to make a promise to Allaah not to do such a thing again. I also offer the following advice, and hope that Allaah will benefit you thereby: 1 – Lower your gaze and do not look at that which Allaah has forbidden. 2 – Keep yourself busy with reading Qur’aan and hadeeth, stories of the righteous, the scholars and ascetics. 3 – Beware of being alone with women who are not mahrams. 31

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4 – Keep company with righteous people who will help you with religious and worldly matters. 5 – Beware of listening to music and songs, for they are a means that lead to zina. 6 – Strive to offer prayers regularly with the Muslims, and strive to observe all the essential parts of prayer with proper focus and humility, and having wudoo’, for it keeps one away from evil actions, and those who observe regular prayer are the ones who will succeed. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Successful indeed are the believers. Those who offer their Salaah (prayers) with all solemnity and full submissiveness” [al-Mu’minoon 23:1] May Allaah help us and you to do all that is good, and may He make things easy for you. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 27304: Ruling on talking to women at work Question: Sometimes I have to talk to some of the women [at work] and discuss with them some issues that have to do with work. Is there any sin on me for that? Is it permissible for me to work in this company or should I look for another job?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There can be no doubt that the fitnah (temptation) of women is great. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I have not left 32

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behind me any fitnah that is more harmful to men than women.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4808; Muslim, 2704. Hence the Muslim has to be cautious of this fitnah and keep away from anything that may cause him to fall prey to it. Some of the greatest causes of this fitnah are looking at women and mixing with them. Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is AllAware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful” [al-Noor 24:30-31] Here Allaah commands His Prophet (peace and blessings 33

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of Allaah be upon him) to tell the believing men and women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, then He explains that that is purer for them. It is known that guarding one’s chastity and avoiding immoral actions is achieved only by avoiding the means that lead to such actions. Undoubtedly letting one’s gaze wander and mixing of men and women in the workplace and elsewhere are among the greatest means that lead to immorality. These two things that are required of the believer cannot be fulfilled when he is working with non-mahram women as colleagues or partners at work. Undoubtedly his working with her or her working with him in the work place is a situation in which it is impossible to lower one’s gaze and guard one’s chastity and attain purity of soul. Hence Allaah commanded the believing women to lower their gaze, guard their chastity and not show their adornment except only that which is apparent, and Allaah commanded them to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms), which implies covering the head and face, because the jayb (pl. juyoob) is the site of the head and face. So how can one lower one’s gaze, guard one’s chastity and avoid showing one’s adornment when women go to men’s workplaces and mix with them? Mixing will inevitably lead to falling into these haraam actions. How can the Muslim woman lower her gaze when she is with a non-mahram man all the time, claiming that he is her work colleague and she is his equal with regard to work. (Khatr Mushaarikat al-Mar’ah li’l-Rajul fi Maydaan ‘Amalihi). 34

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Conclusion: If your work involves continually looking at and mixing with women, we advise you to leave this job and look for another, or to move to another department in the same company where there are no women. If your work does not involve continually looking at and mixing with women, rather it only happens sometimes in an area other than the place where you work, then there is nothing wrong with staying in the job, so long as you lower your gaze and do the parts of your job that involve contact with women in the shortest possible time, and keep away from the causes of fitnah as much as possible. We ask Allaah to help us to avoid fitnah (temptation, both obvious and hidden. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 26890: Correspondence between the sexes Question: I am a girl who believes in Allaah and His Messenger. Is it permissible for me to correspond with a young man through what is known as the “Pen pal corner”?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for you to correspond with a young man who is not a mahram for you through what is known

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as the “Pen pal corner”, because that is something that leads to fitnah (temptation) and to evil and corruption. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wa’l-Ifta’, 17/67. (www.islam-qa.com) 27109: He has repented from a relationship with a woman over the internet Question: I m so happy. the reason is i met this sister through internet, and well i started liking her.. but before things would go further .. i kinda stopped and i realized i just couldnt like her, for i truly luved Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. so i told her sorry i cant like u anymore i luv Allah. so i was wondering is their any sin which will go in my account in the hereafter since i liked her and told her.. but then realized that its wrong.. so i left and told her i luv Allah more and i cant go against Him. so i was wondering will i get a reward for this good deed? or will i be questioned abt the sin i did before leaving this sister? thank u dear imam.. sorry to ask u such a dumb question. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. We are surprised that you describe your question as “dumb”, rather it is very good, and is indicative of wisdom and religious commitment. We need people like you who strive to overcome their desires and who put obedience to Allaah and His Messenger above obedience to their own desires, and fear the standing before their Lord. 36

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We give you glad tiding for what you have done by leaving this girl and putting love of Allaah above this sin. There follow some glad tidings: 1 – The reward of two Gardens. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “But for him who fears the standing before his Lord, there will be two Gardens (i.e. in Paradise)” [al-Rahmaan 55:46] Ibn Katheer said: The correct view is that this verse is general in meaning, as Ibn ‘Abbaas and others said. Allaah says “But for him who fears the standing before his Lord” i.e., on the Day of Resurrection, and forbids himself from following his whims and desires, and does not obey his desires or prefer the life of this world, and knows that the Hereafter is better and more lasting, and fulfils his duties towards Allaah, and avoids that which He has forbidden – on the Day of Resurrection he will have two Gardens with his Lord… Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/277 2 – Bad deeds will be turned into good deeds. Allaah says – after mentioning the punishment for shirk, murder and adultery – (interpretation of the meaning): “Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is OftForgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Furqaan 25:70] According to the two views on the meaning of this verse, 37

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this is one of the glad tidings to those who give up sin. And it was said that their sins will be turned into acts of obedience, and it was said that their bad deeds themselves will be turned into good deeds. Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di said: “Except those who repent” from these sins and others, by giving them up immediately, regretting what they have done in the past, and resolving firmly never to go back to them. “and believe” in Allaah with true faith, which implies giving up sin and doing acts of obedience. “and do righteous deeds” means those that are enjoined by sharee’ah, if the intention is to seek the pleasure of Allaah. “for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds” means, he will make their deeds different, so where they used to do bad deeds, they will now do good deeds. So their shirk is changed into faith, their disobedience into obedience. The bad deeds that they used to do, from which they repented, turning to Allaah, and worship, are turned into good deeds, as is the apparent meaning of the verse. This was narrated in the hadeeth of the man some of whose sins were counted by Allaah, then He turned each bad deed into a good deed and he said, “O Lord, I have other bad deeds that I do not see here.” And Allaah knows best. Tafseer al-Sa’di. 3 – Feeling the sweetness of faith. It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three qualities, whoever possesses them will find the sweetness of faith: when Allaah and His Messenger are dearer to him than 38

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anyone else; when he loves a man and only loves him for the sake of Allaah; and when he would hate to go back to kufr as he would hate to be thrown into the fire.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 16; Muslim, 43. 4 – Glad tidings of sincerity Undoubtedly for those who strive against their whims and desires and ward off haraam love and replace it with love of Allaah, this is a sign of their sincerity (ikhlaas). Ibn al-Qayyim said: Love of images [i.e. haraam love] is something which is suffered by those hearts that are devoid of love of Allaah. If the heart is filled with love of Allaah and longing to meet Him, that will ward off the sickness of love of images. Hence Allaah said concerning Yoosuf (interpretation of the meaning): “Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and illegal sexual intercourse. Surely, he was one of Our chosen, (guided) slaves” [Yoosuf 12:24] This indicates that his being chosen was the reason why (haraam) love and its consequences of evil and illegal sexual intercourse were warded off from him. One of the salaf said: “Love is the movement of an empty heart” i.e., a heart that is empty of everything except the object of love. And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And the heart of the mother of Moosa (Moses) became empty [from every thought, except the thought of Moosa (Moses)]. She was very near to disclose his (case, i.e. the child is her son)” [al-Qasas 28:10] 39

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i.e., her heart was empty of everything except Moosa, because of her deep love for him and her heart’s attachment to him. Love is composed of two things: admiring the object of one’s love, and hoping to get what one wants. When one of them ends then the love ends too. Zaad al-Ma’aad, 4/268. Strive – may Allaah bless you – to strengthen your faith and to persist in obeying and worshipping Allaah, because that is one of the greatest signs of love of Allaah. Try to continue having no contact with that girl, then the Shaytaan will not trick you into going back to her and speaking to her. Then you will be fine, in sha Allah. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 34685 It is not permissible for a seller to touch the hand of a woman who is buying from him Question: There is a religiously-committed businessman who has a lot of customers, many of whom are women. When giving and taking his hand sometimes touches theirs, and that happens often. What should he do?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for a man to touch the hand of a woman who is not permissible for him, because of the fitnah (temptation) involved in that. You have to avoid this and repent to Allaah from that. You can buy and sell 40

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with woman by words only. You have to fear Allaah and avoid that which leads to fitnah. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wa’l-Ifta’, 17/28. (www.islam-qa.com) 12710: Woman smiling at a non-mahram man Question: What is the ruling on a woman who smiles in front of a non-mahram man, but without showing her teeth or making any sound?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is haraam for a woman to uncover her face or to smile at a non-mahram man, because of the evil to which that may lead. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wa’l-Ifta’, 17/25. (www.islam-qa.com) 33702: He fell in love with a girl then he repented. Can he be friends with her? Question: A young Muslim man went to study aboard, far from his family. He got to know a Muslim girl and the relationship 41

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between them grew until it became love, and they touched one another and kissed, but they did not commit fornication (zina). He feels fear of Allaah and he asked her to change the relationship with him or to give it up because what they did is a sin. She understood that and said, “Let’s remain friends and we will never speak of love again, we can just be friends.” He feels that he has made a sacrifice for the sake of Allaah, because he loves her very much, but he feels that this is not enough to please Allaah. Is it permissible for him to speak to her as just a friend? How can he explain to her that he does not want to be selfish, because he loves her very much but his love for Allaah is greater?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: Following the paths of fitnah is one of the reasons why Muslims fall into the traps of the Shaytaan. The rulings of Islam bar the way to many of these paths and warn against following them. Islam also warns against following in the footsteps of the Shaytaan. One of these reasons or causes is Muslims travelling to kaafir countries and settling there either alone or with their families; studying in mixed universities and keeping company with immoral people who do not point him in the direction of good or warn him against evil; giving his faculties free rein to commit sin, such as letting his ears listen to singing or his eyes look at haraam things, and so on. A man cannot protect himself unless he keeps away from these paths that lead to evil, and looks for the ways of peace and guidance with which his Lord is pleased. 42

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Secondly: We think that our brother is on the right track and is guided in sha Allaah, because he fears his Lord and has given up his relationship with this girl, after committing sin with her because of his following the paths of evil mentioned above. The attitude of fearing Allaah is very important, and giving up one’s desires for the sake of Allaah is something which no one can achieve except those who understand Tawheed truly, in whose hearts faith is alive and manifests itself in their physical actions. But he has to remain steadfast in his actions, and not let the Shaytaan lead him down another path that will lead to the same result of committing haraam actions. There can be no friendship between him and this girl who is a stranger (non-mahram) to him. What this friendship leads to is well known, so he must not respond to her request. He should adhere to his stance and seek the help of Allaah, asking Him to guide him to the straight path and make him steadfast in following true guidance. Thirdly: If he really loves her, then the sound way that is prescribed in sharee’ah is for him to marry her; there is no other option. But if he thinks of marriage he should choose one who has a good character and is religiously committed, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised. If he does not marry her, then being friends with her will lead to him doing haraam things, as he himself says happened. Indeed, if the heart remains attached in this way, even if no physical immoral actions take place, it will still affect his heart and his relationship with Allaah and his submission to Him, in a way that is worse than committing physical immoral actions. 43

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Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen said: If it so happens that there is love between a man and a woman, the most effective means of warding off fitnah (temptation) and immorality is for them to get married, because his heart will still remain attached to her if he does not marry her, and that may lead to fitnah. A man may hear that a woman has a good character, and that she is knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her; or she may hear that this man is of good character, knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she wants to marry him, but the communication between the two is not done in the proper Islamic manner – this is very serious. In this case it is not permissible for the man to contact the woman or vice versa, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her guardian that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her guardian that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman gets in touch with the man directly, this is what leads to fitnah. As’ilat al-Baab al-Maftooh, question no. 868. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 12832: Looking at a young female doctor who is teaching him Question: What is the ruling on looking at a young woman who us 44

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teaching us in the university, who makes some movements that are inappropriate?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is haraam to look at a non-mahram woman deliberately, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)” [al-Noor 24:30] And Allaah is the Source of strength. Al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wa’lIfta’, 17/19 (www.islam-qa.com) 20784: Dangers of mixing with male cousins and relatives Question: A Muslim girl who was born and lived in America, goes back to her homeland once or twice a year with her family. She has a male cousin (son of paternal uncle) in her homeland who, whenever he is alone with her, touches her, kisses her, enters her room and locks the door, etc, but he has not committed zina with her, praise be to Allaah. She does not like what he is doing and she feels upset and regrets what is happening. She wants to know what she should do because she is going to travel there soon. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Undoubtedly what your cousin is doing to you is clearly haraam and a great evil, because 45

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that is only permissible with a wife with whom Allaah has permitted intimacy. What you must do is to denounce that and refuse, and do not be a partner in the sin. A man usually cannot do that except with the consent of the woman. You should note that a male cousin is a stranger to you, like any other non-mahram. It is not permissible for him to be alone with you or for you to uncover any part of your body in front of him. He is enjoined to lower his gaze and refrain from looking at you, and you are enjoined to do likewise. A person who transgresses the sacred limits set by Allaah must be rebuked and spoken to harshly, and you should threaten to tell your family and his. If he tries to grab hold of you, you must push him back and run away from him. Beware of taking the matter lightly or being soft in the way in which you deal with him, for the Shaytaan may make this sin attractive to you and you may agree to it, in which case you would become subject to the wrath and punishment of Allaah. Unfortunately many people are careless about protecting their daughters and sons, and they make it too easy for them to fall into this kind of sin, especially with regard to cousins, because they are ignorant of the obligation to be covered in front of them, or because their faith and protective jealousy is weak. Allaah is the One Whose help we seek. You have to repent to Allaah from this haraam action; simply regretting it is not enough. Rather you must repent sincerely from committing sin and resolve not to go back to it. 46

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You must also avoid the reasons that may lead you to commit this haraam action, such as being alone with your cousin, shaking hands with him, meeting him and talking to him. You must avoid him completely, so as to ward off evil and prevent immorality, and close the door to fitnah and sin. Allaah forgives those who repent, give up their sin and turn to Him. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 20460: Female doctor treating men Question: I am a docter living in a western country so my work therefore requires me to see male and female patients. This means that I am often in a room alone with a male patient. Is this wrong islamically? Am I only allowed to treat females and children? I personally dont feel I am doing wrong because all patients regardless of their sex visit a docter to be treated. Your views would be much valued. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. From your question we sense that you are keen to find out the correct shar’i ruling and that you want to learn the teachings of your religion and what has to do with your work. We ask Allaah to help us and you to do that which pleases Allaah and to help us avoid disobeying Him or going against His commands in any of our affairs. 47

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It is known that women are the twin halves of men in society, and that they have a great role to play in raising the next generation and in reviving the ummah. A woman may work outside her house in an appropriate job, without exposing herself to anything that goes against sharee’ah. With regard to treating male patients, and all that it involves of mixing with them and being alone with them, this is not permissible according to sharee’ah, rather it is a fitnah (source of temptation) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has warned us against. It was reported that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should alone with a (non-mahram) woman unless her mahram is present.” Narrated by Muslim, 3259. And he said: “I am not leaving behind me any temptation more harmful to men than women.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4808; Muslim, 6881. It is not permissible for a woman to treat a man except in cases of necessity, such as if there is no male doctor available to treat him, or if the matter cannot be delayed as in the case of accidents etc. Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Female doctors must treat only women and male doctors must treat only men, except in cases of extreme necessity, if men are suffering a disease for which there is no male doctor available, in which case it is o.k. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘He has explained to you in detail what is forbidden to you, except under compulsion of necessity’ [al-An’aam 6:119].” Fataawa ‘Aajilah li Mansoobi’l-Sihhah, p. 29 Hence you should limit your work to treating women and 48

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children as you mentioned, and seek reward for this work with Allaah. Whoever gives up a thing for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better than that. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 38153: Shaking hands with women in Ramadaan Question: What is the ruling on touching women with one’s hand only during Ramadaan and the emission of semen as a result?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The ruling on touching non-mahram women is that it is haraam, during Ramadaan and at other times, whether that is touching with the hand only or actions that are more serious than that, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle, that would be better for him than his touching a woman who is not permissible for him.” Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045. See also question no. 2459, 21183 Sins in general – including touching women – are more serious in Ramadaan. They detract from the reward of fasting, and may even spoil the fast altogether so that the fasting person gets nothing from his fast except hunger 49

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and thirst. Hence the fasting person is told most emphatically to avoid sin. The believer should make the most of Ramadaan to set himself straight, to repent from sin and to turn to Allaah. The day when he fasts and the day when he does not fast cannot be the same. Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: When you fast, then let your hearing, sight and tongue fast and abstain from lies and haraam things, and refrain from harming your neighbour. Be tranquil and dignified on the day when you fast, and do not let the day when you fast and the day when you do not fast be the same. Narrated by Ibn al-Mubaarak in al-Zuhd, 1308. See also Question no. 37658 If a man shakes hands with a woman during the day in Ramadaan, and he ejaculates, his fast is invalidated, and there is no difference of opinion among the scholars on this point. He has to repent to Allaah from this sin, refrain from eating and drinking for the rest of the day, and make up that day’s fast later on. See al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah, 4/361 With regard to emission of semen whilst fasting, if that happens without desire, e.g. because of sickness, then it does not affect the fast. The Standing Committee was asked: I suffer from seminal discharge during the days in Ramadaan without any wet dreams or engaging in the “secret habit” (masturbation). Does this have any effect on the fast? 50

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They replied: If the matter is as described, the emission of semen without any feelings of pleasure during the day in Ramadaan does not affect your fast, and you do not have to make up that day. Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 10/278. But if the emission of semen is accompanied by desire, one of two scenarios applies: 1 – That happens because the man does something that provokes his desires, such as kissing his wife, shaking hands with a woman with desire, etc. This invalidates the fast and he must make up that day later on. 2 – The semen is emitted without the man doing anything, such as simply thinking about desire, or because of a wet dream. This does not invalidate the fast and his fast is still valid. Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: With regard to the emission of semen as the result of desire, this invalidates the fast whether that happened because of touching or kissing or repeatedly looking, or any other reason that provokes desire, such as masturbation etc. With regard to wet dreams and thinking, these do not invalidate the fast even is semen is emitted as a result. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 2/135 And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 8827: A mixed school is haraam according to sharee’ah Question: I am a 16 yr old girl.I recently changed my school.

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Please could tou tell me how must i conduct myself in school.The girls to boys ratio is grossly unfair in this school.For eg in my chem class there are nearly 15 boys and only 3 girls!so sometimes when i need help with a ques or have an urgent doubt ihave to callup guys(vvvreluctantly).Moreover, since there are so few girls the guys are so frank with us. i spend about7hrs in school and i guess its not possible to not talk to anyone.Please let me know how should i behave in school .is it ok if i talk to guys or is it better that i not try be friendly with them?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Your attending a mixed school is haraam according to sharee’ah, because the mixing that you describe is exposing you to moral corruption and may be a means of causing you to commit sin. In many ahaadeeth, the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned men against the fitnah (temptation) of women, and he indicated that the matter is so serious that their fitnah is the worst of fitnahs and the most harmful thing. It was narrated from Usaamah ibn Zayd (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I am not leaving behind me any fitnah more harmful to men than women.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4808; Muslim 2740 It was narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar said, “O Messenger of 52

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Allaah, what about the in-law?’ He said, “The in-law is death.” Al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172 Ibn Hajar said, commenting on the first hadeeth: This hadeeth indicates that the fitnah caused by women is greater than any other fitnah. This is supported by the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women…” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:14] Allaah described them as being among the things that men covet, and He mentioned them first, before the other things, to indicate that they are the cause of the fitnah. We can see that a man is more inclined to love the children of a woman to whom he is still married than the children of a woman whom he has divorced. Fath al-Baari, 9/138 Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Undoubtedly allowing women to mix freely with men is the basis of all evils. This is one of the greatest causes of punishment coming down upon everyone and of public and private affairs becoming corrupt. Free mixing of men and women is the cause of much immorality and adultery, and it is the cause of general doom and diseases. … One of the greatest causes of general doom is the prevalence of adultery because of allowing women to mix freely with men and to walk amongst them making a wanton display of their beauty. If the powers that be knew 53

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how much corruption it causes to worldly interests and to people, they would prevent it most vigorously. Al-Turuq al-Hakamiyyah, p. 408 In the mixing that you describe, it is not possible to lower one’s gaze and it provokes women to desire men and vice versa. This is not permissible; rather this is the thing that leads to corruption. If the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade that for his own cousin (son of his paternal uncle) al-Fadl ibn al‘Abbaas, when he was riding with him on his mount and they were performing one of the dearest acts of worship to Allaah, namely the Hajj, when Al-Fadl was in the company of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and at the time of the Sahaabah who were the most pious of people, then how can we allow the women of our own times, when diseases of the heart are widespread and religious commitment is at such a low level, to sit in the same place as men without a mahram, for so many hours every day? Fear Allaah, my sister, and do not go to this school, no matter how difficult that may be. We will quote to you the hadeeth of al-Fadl referred to above: It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Al-Fadl was the riding partner of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). A woman from (the tribe of) Kath’am came, and al-Fadl started looking at her and she started looking at him, so the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) turned al-Fadl’s face to the other side. She said, “O Messenger of Allaah, the command of Allaah enjoining Hajj upon His slaves has come when my father is an old man and is not steady on his mount; can I do Hajj on his behalf?” He said, “Yes.” That was the Farewell pilgrimage. 54

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Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1442; Muslim, 1334. Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth: This hadeeth demonstrates the natural desire for women that is created in human beings, and what may be feared from looking at them. Al-Fadl ibn ‘Abbaas was one of the young men of Banu Haashim, and he was the most handsome man of his time, according to what they said. This also indicates that the ruler must prevent men and women from looking at one another. That includes preventing the women for whom there is no guarantee that they will not cause or be subject to temptation from walking in the streets and marketplaces and places where they can look at men. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I am not leaving behind me any fitnah more harmful to men than women.” And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)…” [al-Noor 24:31] This is sufficient for the one who ponders the meanings of the Book of Allaah and is guided to act upon it. Al-Tamheed, 9/123-124 There is no need for mixing. Studying in this school is not essential; so long as a woman can read and write and knows the teachings of her religion, that is sufficient, because she was created for that, i.e., to worship Allaah. Anything beyond that is not essential. And Allaah knows best. 55

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Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 14508: Ruling on shaking hands with an old woman Question: What is the ruling on shaking hands with a non-mahram woman if she is old? And what is the ruling if she puts a barrier over her hand, such as part of her garment etc?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible to shake hands with non-mahram women at all, whether they are young or old, and whether the man who is shaking hands is young or old, because of the danger of fitnah which that poses to both parties. It was narrated in a saheeh hadeeth that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I do not shake hands with women.” And ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “The hand of the Messenger of Allaah never touched the hand of any [nonmahram] woman, and he used to accept their oath of allegiance in words only.” It makes no difference whether shaking hands is done with a barrier in between or no barrier, because of the general meaning of the evidence, and so as to block the means that may lead to fitnah. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li’lShaykh Ibn Baaz, 6/280 (www.islam-qa.com) 56

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6398: She wants to marry a person she loves but her family are refusing to let her Question: I have been talking to a guy that I have very stong feelings for, and now we are thinking of taking it to another level which is marriage. THe only problem is that my parents dont agree. They feel that he is not worth of me and they feel that he will not treat me right! They have no valid reason other than the fact that alot of times they see us arguing bas it’s normal. I really love this guy and I am scared that when he comes and ask’s for me my parents wont agree. What is the quaran’s ruling on this?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: It is not permissible for a woman – whether she is a virgin or previously married – to get married without the permission of her guardian. This has been explained previously in a number of answers. Please see Question No. 2127. Secondly: The family – customarily and usually – is able to know what is best for their daughter and who is best suited to marry her, because usually girls have little knowledge and experience of life and what is best for them, and they may be deceived by some nice words, and be ruled by their hearts rather than by their heads. Hence a girl should not go against her family’s opinion, if they are known for their religious-commitment and wisdom. But if a woman’s guardians reject husbands for 57

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no valid reason, or if their criteria for choosing a husband are not acceptable by the standards of sharee’ah – such as if they prefer a rich evildoer over one who is religiously committed and of good character – then it is permissible for the girl to refer the matter to the qaadi (sharee’ah judge) to annul the guardianship of the one who is not letting her get married, and pass that role to someone else. But this is not applicable in this case, because what is stopping the family from agreeing to this husband is what they think is in the best interests of their daughter, and this has to do with the character and attitude of the husband. Thirdly: The things that lead to love between a young man and a young woman may be things that are not Islamically acceptable, such as mixing, being alone together, speaking, exchanging pictures, and so on. If this is the case then a woman should realize that she has done something haraam, and this is not the standard by which the man’s love for her should be measured. For usually at this stage the man shows his best side and makes his behaviour look as good as possible, so he can win the girl’s heart and get what he wants. If what he wants is haraam, then she will be like a victim for the wolf and will lose the most precious thing that she possesses after her religion. If what he wants is permissible – namely marriage – then he has gone about it in a way that is not permissible. Moreover, she may get a shock when she sees his attitude and how he treats her after marriage. This is the fate of many wives. So the family has to make a good choice for their daughter. They should find out more about the husband, and they should not judge a person on the basis of heated discussion that may be justifiable. What matters is the man’s attitude and religious commitment. The family should also remember the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings 58

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of Allaah be upon him): “We do not think there is anything better for two who love one another than marriage.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1847; classed as saheeh by alBusayri and al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624. The girl has to obey her family, for they know best what is in her best interests, and all they want is for her to be happy with a husband who will respect her and give her her rights. We also advise the sister who asked this question to look at the answer to question no. 23420. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 22003: His son got to know a girl through chat rooms, and he wants to marry her Question: My adult son who is twenty-one years old got to know a girl in another city through chat rooms. They kept in touch through the chat rooms, then he spoke to her on the phone and he liked her and she liked him. The relationship between them developed over a number of months until they agreed to marry, knowing that – according to what he tells me – they have not met. Then he asked me to arrange his marriage to this girl, but at first he did not make it clear to me that he had gotten to know her through chat rooms. At first he went to his paternal aunt who has a job and spoke to her confidentially, and he asked her to say that she knew this girl through one of her female colleagues at school and to get in touch with the girls’ mother and tell her that his family was keen to get to know them with a view to arranging a marriage with one 59

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of their womenfolk. His aunt indeed did that, but I absolutely refused to agree to his request to marry her for a number of reasons: 1 – The way in which he got to know this girl was not Islamically acceptable. 2 – He does not know a lot about how she really is. All that he knows about her is through telephone calls only. 3 – He lied to me at first, and went to his aunt about a sensitive subject which should have been kept secret even from the closest of people until arrangements were complete, then it could be announced to others. 4 – We – praise be to Allaah – are a conservative family, and this way of getting in touch with a girl is not in accordance with our principles and values, let alone our traditions and customs. To sum up, I am very confused about this matter, because now it is affecting his university studies and he has become withdrawn. Please note that he was previously a high-achieving student. Every time we try to tell him to forget about this matter and to focus on his studies, he insists that if we agree to let him marry this girl it will make him happy again, and that we will accept this girl and like her. What is your opinion on this confusing problem?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. This problem – and many others – confirm the truth of what many daa’iyahs and reformers are saying about the necessity of being careful about how our sons and 60

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daughters are using the internet, and to beware of entering conversations between men and women in chat rooms, because of the very real fitnah (temptation] to which that may lead, with subsequent contact and meetings. Undoubtedly your son made a mistake by forming this relationship with a non-mahram woman who is not permissible for him. He made a mistake by lying to you and by discussing this matter with his aunt. But we do not agree with the idea of refusing his marriage to this girl, especially if you think that your son is deeply attached to her. That is for the following reasons: 1 – Not every girl who acts in this manner can be judged to be deviant, badly brought up or of bad manners and attitude. This may have been a mistake on her part, as in the case of your son. 2 – What is happening to your son now, with his wanting to be alone and his falling behind in his studies may be because of intense love for this girl on his part. In such cases it may be that the only efficient remedy is for him to marry the one whom he loves. According to a hadeeth narrated by Ibn Maajah (1847), “There is nothing better for two who love one another than marriage.” (This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah). 3 – The fact that your son does not know much about the attitude and character of this girl may be dealt with by asking about her and finding out more about her background. Hence we think that you should hasten to find out about this girl and her family. If her character is not good, then this will convince your son to stop thinking about her. But if, after thoroughly investigating the matter, you like what you find out about her and her family, then there is 61

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no reason why your son should not marry her, rather this will be the best remedy for him and for her. This suggestion applies if you feel that he is strongly attached to her and is keen to marry her, as referred to above. But if it is simply the matter of an idea that has occurred to him, and it is not the matter of love or deep attachment, and you hope that he will forget about her, then be firm in your refusal and help him to look for a woman who has good manners and is religiously committed and chaste. There are so many righteous and chaste women who have never had anything to do with men and have never faced temptation. Turn to Allaah and ask Him to guide you, and seek His help by praying Istikhaarah concerning all the matters in which you want to take a decision. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 21934: She likes our website and wants to help her friend to find a job! Question: Since a few months I’m a loyal “fan” of your website. Since the internet, a new way of learning about Islam opened my eyes/heart. And I must say that I became a better Muslim since I surf your website and listen/read your lectures/articles etc.... So I would like to congratulate your team for the immense postive influence your site has on people (like me). As I’m extremely positive about the information on your site and the knowledge about Islam you provide, I would like to ask a question which is bothering me/my friend some time: Some time ago Dr Sakhar gave a lecture and talked about finding a job within 3 days if a Muslim knows how to proceed/behave... Unfortunately he did not mention the solutions/the way 62

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to handle. Please could you maybe help me how I can help a person finding a job through spiritual aide. If i may give you more background to the situation: Me and my friend know eachother through the net/phone since 1.5 year and we would like to make a life together. The problem is that he’s abroad (Kuwait) and needs a workpermit if he wants to setle in my country (Belgium). He would like to come over to Belgium, find a job, settle over here, and if our contacts (but also with our families) are both positive we would like to live together (marriage). So since a few months, me and my friend, are surfing like crazy through the web to find him a job, put cv’s online etc.. The difficulty is to find a job and an employer who would accept to make a workpermit for my friend (due to tough immigration law in Europe). We are intensively trying to find a solution since a few months but we still didnt succeed and we are both getting desperate, because we fear that not finding a job would be the answer that our destiny is not together. Please could you help us out how to come to peace with this situation as it is very stressy for both of us. Thank you so much in advance. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. We praise Allaah for blessing you with guidance and righteousness. We ask Allaah to make us and you steadfast in doing and saying that which pleases Him. The believer turns to Allaah with regard to everything that happens to him, he turns to Him for all his needs. For Allaah is the One Who responds to the one in need when he calls upon Him and relieves his suffering. Allaah has told us that He is near and responds to the prayer of the one who calls upon Him. Du’aa’ is like a weapon in the hands of the believer, which he should use properly. So 63

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call upon Allaah and be certain that He will respond, and pursue the means of having your du’aa’ accepted, and choose the times when du’aa’s are answered. You can refer to question no. 5113 to learn more about these means. I would also like to point out a matter that is of the utmost importance, which is that Muslims, men and women alike, should protect themselves from the things that lead to forming an emotional attachment to someone who is not a spouse. Of course a person may have no control over love, [?] but he or she may do things that lead to an increase in emotional attachment, such as conversations between a man and a woman that lead to stirrings of emotions and desires. This is forbidden as a means of closing the door and so that a person will not form an emotional attachment to a person whom it is difficult to get married to, which will lead to hardship for both parties and will distract the heart from its obligation to love Allaah and obey Him. Please see Question no. 9465 and 4775. Hence we advise you to pray a lot of istikhaarah and make du’aa’ and turn to Allaah. We ask Allaah to decree good for us and for you in this world and in the Hereafter, and to make this thing easy for you if it is good for you. And may Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 30791: Prohibition on shaking hands with paternal uncle’s wife even if she is old Question: Is it permissible to shake hands with a paternal uncle’s 64

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wife if she is old, and if not shaking hands will provoke rancour and resentment, because that is the custom among relatives?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is haraam for a man to shake hands with a non-mahram woman even if she is old. That is because of the general meaning of the evidence which states that it is forbidden. Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It is not permissible to shake hands with non-mahram women at all, whether they are young or old, and whether the man who is shaking hands is a young man or an old man, because of the danger of fitnah (temptation) that it poses to both parties. It was narrated in a saheeh hadeeth that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I do not shake hands with women.” And ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “The hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman, and he used to accept their oath of allegiance by words only.” It makes no difference whether one shakes hands with a barrier in between or with no barrier, because of the general meaning of the evidence, and so as to block the ways that may lead to fitnah. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/76 What some people believe, that the wife of a paternal or maternal uncle is not a stranger (non-mahram) is not 65

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correct, and there is no basis for that. Rather the wife of an uncle is a non-mahram. The question of a man shaking hands with a non-mahram woman has already been dealt with on this site; please see question no. 2459 and 21183 With regard to what the questioner says that not shaking hands will cause resentment and that this is customary among them, he should refrain from shaking hands with her, and should explain to her that he is not refraining from shaking hands because he despises her or thinks little of her, but rather because he is obeying Allaah and His Messenger. The Muslim has to obey the command of his Lord, and avoid that which He has forbidden, even if that goes against the people’s customs. But he should explain to the people that he is doing that out of obedience to Allaah, and he should be gentle and polite so that he can convince them to follow the sharee’ah and so that they will not think badly of him. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 11971: He is in love with a Christian woman at the expense of his wife Question: A young man is in love with a Christian woman for whom he cares, but he feels guilty. He wants to leave his first wife (the mother of his children) and call this Christian woman to Islam, then when she becomes Muslim he will marry her. Leaving his first wife does not mean divorcing her, lest that affect his young children. His first wife is very angry and upset. 66

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: The questioner has done very well by seeking to advise his friend in the light of Islamic teachings. This is an example of perfect love and Islamic brotherhood. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Religion is sincerity (or sincere advice).” (Narrated by Imam Muslim). If such good care was widespread among the Muslims their situation would be far better than what we see now, especially in countries where Islam and its followers are strangers. The Muslim is in great need of his Muslim brother to give him advice and to love for his brother what he loves for himself. Perhaps a kind word or sincere advice that a man gives and pays little attention to may earn him the pleasure of Allaah, which will save him from eternal misery and doom. If your friend really wants to know the truth, he has to be honest with himself and free himself from whims and desires, especially in such situations. In the question itself there is the admission that his love for that Christian girl is a sin. How can it be acceptable for a Muslim man to love a woman in this way, when she is not his mahram and not his wife, and it may be said to him, this woman represents the honour of another man. Just as you would not accept for a non-mahram man to love your daughter or your sister when he is not her husband, then others would not accept this from you. In such cases of love, the only thing that is permissible is marriage based on the sound principles of sharee’ah, not just love which the questioner himself accepts is a sin. When our pure monotheistic religion set out regulations governing the relationships between men and women, it 67

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set out a proper way for these relationships to be conducted. So marriage is the beginning of these relationships not the result thereof. Marriage is not the result of love which is a sin. Moreover, this system of relationships is in the interests of the Muslim society, and its stability and soundness, because going against the teachings of Islam leads to a great deal of corruption and mischief, such as that mentioned in the question which causes grief to the first wife. One mistake leads to another, and another, and so on. This young man – may Allaah bless him in this world and in the Hereafter – wants to correct this sin by forsaking his first wife, but this is another sin which is no less serious than the first one; a sin cannot be corrected by means of another sin. When Islam permits plural marriage, it stipulates the condition of fair and just treatment for all the wives, so it obliges the husband to treat all his wives fairly. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess” [al-Nisa’ 4:3] Undoubtedly it is not just or fair to forsake the first wife in order to marry the second, even if we assume that the intention in this case is good, which is to make the Christian woman embrace Islam, for the Islam of the second wife does not require that the first wife be mistreated. The end does not justify the means. Moreover, there are many ways and means of calling the Christian woman to Islam, all of which may be used. How many people have been called to Islam without that involving wrongdoing or committing of sin. 68

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Based on the above, there can be no doubt that his first wife will get angry; if he were in the same position he would get very angry too. Read with me the following hadeeth: “Whoever has two wives and is more inclined towards one of them will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1141; al-Nasaa’i, 3942; Abu Dawood, 2133; it is saheeh according to Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 7/80, no. 2017) Would you like to come on the Day of Resurrection with half of your body leaning? Undoubtedly you would not like that. All of the above applies if he wants to forsake his first wife for a limited period of time. However, if he wants to forsake her permanently, then it is even worse. I do not know which is meant in the question. Let us assume that you marry this woman after she becomes Muslim, then you come to know of another woman who, if you marry her as a third wife, that may be the reason for her becoming Muslim, but you do not know her or love her. Will you forsake the second wife so that this one will embrace Islam even though you do not love her? Answer yourself honestly. Finally, I do not advise you to marry this Christian woman in such circumstances where the matter is based on a previous sin, which is loving her unlawfully. Yes, you are to be commended for your eagerness to guide someone else to Islam. You could give her some Islamic books, publications and tapes, and tell her about Islamic centers and female Muslim daa’iyahs, or try to get her married to someone who is committed to Islam and who could help her to remain steadfast, but without wronging a previous wife, etc. 69

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Secondly, it is obligatory to treat wives fairly with regard to spending nights with them and spending on them. It is not permissible to forsake the first wife unlawfully, even if that is with a noble intention. Thirdly: The Muslim who is keen to keep his religious commitment sound will keep away from love that is not based on a sound foundation, even if that has a strong effect on the heart at first. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our paths (i.e. Allaah’s religion — Islamic Monotheism).” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:69] And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is nothing that you give up for the sake of Allaah, but Allaah will compensate you with something that is better for you than it.” (Narrated by Imam Ahmad, 20222; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, al-Silsilat alDa’eefah, 5) You should strive to attain the mercy of Allaah and Paradise by being kind towards the mother of your children and pleasing her as you have angered her, and trying to make her happy after you have made her sad, after she has lived with you for more than seven years. May Allaah help you to do all that is good. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 1105: Does Islam regard men and women as equal? Question: Is there a mention of the equality of women in the qur’an? 70

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: This word – equality – which many thinkers in both the east and the west advocate in various fields of life is a word which is based on deviation and a lack of understanding, especially when the speaker attributes this idea of equality to the Qur’aan and to Islam. One of the things that people misunderstand is when they say that “Islam is the religion of equality”. What they should say is that Islam is the religion of justice. Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Here we should note that there are some people who speak of equality instead of justice, and this is a mistake. We should not say equality, because equality implies no differentiation between the two. Because of this unjust call for equality, they started to ask, what is the difference between male and female?’ So they made males and females the same, and then the communists said, ‘What difference is there between ruler and subject? No one has any authority over anyone else, not even fathers and sons; the father has no authority over his son,’ and so on. But if we say justice, which means giving each one that to which he or she is entitled, this misunderstanding no longer applies, and the word used is correct. Hence it does not say in the Qur’aan that Allaah enjoins equality, rather it says (interpretation of the meaning): “Verily, Allaah enjoins Al‘Adl (i.e. justice)” [al-Nahl 16:90] 71

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“and that when you judge between men, you judge with justice” [al-Nisa’ 4:58] Those who say that Islam is the religion of equality are lying against Islam. Rather Islam is the religion of justice which means treating equally those who are equal and differentiating between those who are different. No one who knows the religion of Islam would say that it is the religion of equality. Rather what shows you that this principle is false is the fact that most of what is mentioned in the Qur’aan denies equality, as in the following verses: ‘Say: Are those who know equal to those who know not?” [al-Zumar 39:9] ‘Say: Is the blind equal to the one who sees? Or darkness equal to light?’ [al-Ra’d 13:16] ‘Not equal among you are those who spent and fought before the conquering (of Makkah, with those among you who did so later’ [al-Hadeed 57:10] ‘Not equal are those of the believers who sit (at home), except those who are disabled (by injury or are blind or lame), and those who strive hard and fight in the Cause of Allaah with their wealth and their live’ [al-Nisa’ 4:95] Not one single letter in the Qur’aan enjoins equality, rather it enjoins justice. You will also find that the word justice is acceptable to people, for I feel that if I am better than 72

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this man in terms of knowledge, or wealth, or piety, or in doing good, I would not like for him to be equal to me. Every man knows that he find it unacceptable if we say that the male is equal to the female.” Sharh al-‘Aqeedah al-Waasitah, 1/180-181 Based on this, Islam does not regard men and women as equal in matters where regarding them as equal would result in injustice to one of them, because equality that is inappropriate is a severe form of injustice. The Qur’aan commands women to wear clothes that are different from those worn by men, because of the differences in the ways each sex is tempted by the other. The temptation posed by men is less than the temptation posed by women, so the clothes that women should wear are different than the clothes that men wear. It makes no sense to tell women to expose the parts of the body that men are allowed to expose, because of the differences in the temptation posed by a woman’s body and a man’s body – as we shall explain. Secondly: There are matters in which men and women are treated differently in Islamic sharee’ah, such as: 1 – Qiwaamah (being in charge of the household) Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisa’ 4:34] Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 73

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“Allaah says ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women’ meaning that the man is in charge of the woman, i.e., he is the leader and head of the household, the one who disciplines her if she goes astray. ‘because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other’ i.e., because men are superior to women and are better than women. Hence Prophethood was given only to men, as was the position of khaleefah, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘No people shall ever prosper who appoint a woman as their ruler.’ This was narrated by al-Bukhaari from the hadeeth of ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Abi Bakrah from his father. The same applies to the position of qaadi (judge), etc. ‘and because they spend (to support them) from their means’ refers to the mahr and the spending on women’s maintenance that Allaah has enjoined upon men in His Book and in the Sunnah of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). So a man is inherently better than a woman, and he is superior to her because he spends on her. So it is appropriate that he should be in charge of her, as Allaah says, ‘but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them’ [al-Baqarah 2:228]. ‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women’ means that men are the leaders of women and they should obey them in areas where Allaah has enjoined obedience. Obedience may mean treating his family kindly and protecting his wealth.” (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/490) 2 – Testimony or bearing witness. The Qur’aan states that the testimony of one man is equivalent to the testimony of two women. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 74

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“And get two witnesses out of your own men. And if there are not two men (available), then a man and two women, such as you agree for witnesses, so that if one of them (two women) errs, the other can remind her” [al-Baqarah 2:282] Ibn Katheer said: Two women are to take the place of one man because women are lacking in reason, as Muslim narrated in his Saheeh… from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O women, give in charity and seek forgiveness a great deal, for I have seen that you form the majority of the people of Hell.” A wise woman among them said, “Why is it, O Messenger of Allaah, that we are the majority of the people of Hell?” He said, “Because you curse too much, and you are ungrateful to your spouses. I have seen none lacking in common sense and failing in religion but (at the same time) robbing the wisdom of the wise, besides you.” The woman asked: “O Messenger of Allaah, what is wrong with our common sense and our religion?” He said: “Your lack of common sense (can be well judged from the fact) that the evidence of two women is equal to that of one man, that is a proof of the lack of common sense, and you spend some nights (and days) in which you do not offer prayer and in the month of Ramadan (during the days) you do not observe fast, that is a failing in religion.” (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/336) There may be some women who are wiser than some men, but this is not the usual rule and such women are not in the majority. Sharee’ah is based on what is general and most common. The fact that women are lacking in reason does not mean that they are crazy, rather their reason is often overtaken 75

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by their emotions, and this happens to women more often than it happens to men. No one would deny this except one who is arrogant. 3 – A woman inherits half of what a man inherits. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Allaah commands you as regards your children’s (inheritance): to the male, a portion equal to that of two females” [al-Nisa’ 4:11] Al-Qurtubi said: Because Allaah knows better than they do what is in their best interests, He made the division of inheritance based on differentiation, because He knows what is in their best interests. Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 5/164 For example, a man is obliged to spend more than a woman, so it is appropriate that he should have a larger share of inheritance than a woman. 4 – Clothing: A woman’s ‘awrah includes her entire body. The least that can be said is that she should not uncover anything except her face and hands, and it was said that she should not even uncover that. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, 76

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that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever OftForgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Ahzaab 33:59] The ‘awrah of a man is the area from the navel to the knees. It was said to ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ja’far ibn Abi Taalib, “Tell us what you heard from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and what you saw of him, and do not tell us about anyone else, even if he was trustworthy.” He said, “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, ‘The area between the navel and the knee is ‘awrah.’” Narrated by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak (6418); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5583. Other examples include the following, which is not a comprehensive list. There are other differences between the sexes, including the following: · A man can marry four women, but a woman can only have one husband. · A man has the right to issue a divorce and it is valid if he does so, but a woman does not have the right to issue a divorce. · A man may marry a woman from among the People of the Book (Jews and Christians), but a Muslim woman may not marry anyone but a Muslim. · A man may travel without his wife or any of his mahrams, but a woman may not travel unless she is accompanied by a mahram. 77

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· Prayer in the mosque is obligatory for men, but not for women; a woman’s prayer in her house is more beloved to Allaah. · A woman may wear silk and gold, but a man must not wear them. Everything that we have mentioned is based on the difference between men and women, because the male is not like the female. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And the male is not like the female” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:36] The male is different from the female in many ways, in his strength, in his body, in his toughness and roughness, whereas women are soft and gentle. And men are different in intellectual terms, for men are known for their strength of understanding and their memory as compared to women. Women are weaker than men in memory and forget more than men do. This is well known, for most of the reputable scholars in the world are men. There are some women who are more intelligent and have better memories than some men, but this does not cancel out the general rule. Most cases are as we have described above. With regard to emotions, men speak of them when they get angry or when they are happy, but women are affected by the slightest emotional effects, so their tears flow at the slightest emotional provocation. Jihad is obligatory for men, but jihad in the sense of fighting is not obligatory for women. This is the mercy of Allaah towards them, and consideration for their nature. In conclusion we may say that the rulings for men are not like the rulings for women. 78

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Thirdly: Islam regards men and women as equally obliged with regard to many acts of worship and interactions with others. For example, women do wudoo’ just as men do, they do ghusl as men do, they pray as men do, and they fast as men do, except when they are menstruating or bleeding following childbirth. Women pay zakaah as men pay zakaah, and they do Hajj as men do, except for a few differences in the rulings. It is permissible and acceptable to buy from a woman, and if a woman gives charity, that is permissible. It is permissible for a woman to set free the slaves that she owns, and there are many other similar cases because women are the twin halves of men, as it says in the hadeeth: It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about a man who finds some wetness (on his clothes) but did not have an erotic dream, and he said, “He should do ghusl.” He was asked about a man who had an erotic dream but did not find any wetness, and he said, “He does not have to do ghusl.” Umm Salamah said, “O Messenger of Allaah, if a woman sees that, does she have to do ghusl?” He said, “Yes, for women are the twin halves of men.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 113; Ahmad, 25663. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 98) Conclusion: Women are like men in some aspects and they differ from them in others. Most of the rulings of Islam apply to men and women equally. In cases where a distinction is made between the sexes, the Muslim regards that as a mercy from Allaah and a sign of His knowledge of His creation, but the arrogant kaafir sees it as oppression and injustice, 79

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so he stubbornly insists on claiming that men and women are the same. So let him tell us how a man can carry a foetus and breastfeed it? He stubbornly ignores the weakness of women and how they bleed during their monthly period, and he stubbornly beat his head against the rock of reality. But the Muslim is still at peace with his faith, surrendering to the command of Allaah. “Should not He Who has created know? And He is the Most Kind and Courteous (to His slaves), AllAware (of everything)” [al-Mulk 67:14 – interpretation of the meaning] And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 2459: Ruling on shaking hands with the opposite sex Question: Is it allowable for a muslim woman to greet a muslim man by shaking hands? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. For a man to shake hands with a non-mahram woman (one to whom he is not related) is haraam and is not permitted at all. Among the evidence for this is the hadeeth of Ma’qal ibn Yassaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings 80

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of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; classed as saheeh by alAlbaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045). There is no doubt that for a man to touch a non-mahram woman is one of the causes of fitnah (turmoil, temptation), provocation of desire and committing haraam deeds. No one should say that their intention is sound or their heart is clean, because the one who was the purest of heart and the most chaste of all, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched a non-mahram woman, even when accepting bay’ah (oath of allegiance) from women. He did not hold their hands when accepting their bay’ah, as he did with men; their bay’ah was by words only, as was reported by his wife ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). She said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would test the believing women who emigrated to him with the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “O Prophet! When believeing women come to you to give you the bay’ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e., by making illegal children belong to their husbands), and that thye will not disobey you in any ma’ruf (Islamic monotheism and all that which Islam ordains), then accept their bay’ah and ask Allaah to forgive them. Verily Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [al-Mumtahinah 60:12] ‘Aa’ishah said: “So whoever of the believing women agreed to these conditions, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would say to her: ‘I have accepted your bay’ah by words.’ By Allaah, his hand never touched the hand of any woman when accepting 81

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their bay’ah; he accepted their bay’ah by saying ‘I have accepted your bay’ah on this basis.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4512; according to another report: he accepted their bay’ah by words… the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman except a woman he owned . Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6674). Some Muslims feel too embarrassed to refuse when a woman offers her hand to them. In addition to mixing with women, some of them claim that they are forced to shake hands with fellow-students and teachers in schools and universities, or with colleagues in the workplace, or in business meetings and so on, but this is not an acceptable excuse. The Muslim should overcome his own feelings and the promptings of the Shaytaan, and be strong in his faith, because Allaah is not ashamed of the truth. The Muslim could apologize politely and explain that the reason he does not want to shake hands is not to offend or hurt anybody’s feelings, but it is because he is following the teachings of his religion. In most cases this will earn him respect from others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, and it may even be a practical opportunity for da’wah. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 12663: Ruling on a man kissing or hugging a woman on the grounds of friendship Question: Is it allowed for a muslim kiss (friendly) a non-mahrum 82

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muslim of the opposite sex on the cheek? How about friendly hugging? Is the sin of the same magnitude if done when in need of friendly company which only the other person can provide? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is haraam for a man to take women as friends. See question no. 1114. A person should be wise, because whoever says that a man may kiss his female friend on the face in a friendly manner and hug her in a friendly manner is saying something that is regarded as foolish and stupid. It is obvious to any wise person than this kind of behaviour provokes desire, and this is the path that leads to zina (fornication, adultery). It cannot be said that his intention is pure, because Allaah has created men with an inclination to be attracted towards women. Hence Allaah has forbidden men to look at women and has commanded them to lower their gaze. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)” [al-Noor 24:30] The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The eye may commit zina, and its zina is looking.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, al-Nikaah, 1840; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan Abi Dawood, no. 1884). 83

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Hence it is haraam to mix with women or to be alone with a woman, even if she is wearing hijaab, so how about if the woman is making a wanton display of herself? There are very many aayahs and ahaadeeth which forbid that. It is also forbidden to shake hands with women; see question no. 2459. A person who allows himself to do these things may start to commit zina zina with her on the grounds of friendship. It cannot be said that this is because of difficult circumstances where he needs a person to stand by him and be his friend. All of that is haraam and is not allowed. Whoever falls into such things must hasten to repent sincerely from this sin, and turn back to Allaah and regret what he has done. The Muslim must realize that if he turns to Allaah for help with the calamities and problems that befall him in this world, Allaah will relieve him of his trouble and grant him relief and a way out, so he should fear Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty)” [al-Talaaq 65:2-3] “and whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make his matter easy for him” [al-Talaaq 65:4] And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 21608: Ruling on male student shaking hands with a female classmate Question: What is the ruling on a male student shaking hands with a female classmate? What should he do if she holds out her hand to greet him? 84

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permitted to study in a mixed setting with female students in one place or in one school or on one bench. This is one of the greatest causes of fitnah (temptation) and it is not permissible for a male or female student to take part in this, because of the fitnah involved. The Muslim should not shake hands with a non-mahram female, even if she holds out her hand for him to shake, and he should tell her that shaking hands with a nonmahram man is not permitted, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, when accepting the allegiance (bay’ah) of women: “I do not shake hands with women.” And it was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “By Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any (non-mahram) woman; he used to accept their allegiance in words only.” And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah (Muhammad) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes for (the Meeting with) Allaah and the Last Day, and remembers Allaah much” [al-Ahzaab 33:21] For a woman to shake hands with someone who is not her mahram is something that may lead to temptation for both parties, so it must be avoided. There is nothing wrong with the shar’i greeting of salaam in which there is no fitnah and no shaking hands, and which does not give rise to doubts and does not involve any softness in speech, and in which hijaab is observed and there is no being alone with a member of the opposite sex, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 85

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“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner” [al-Ahzaab 33:32] At the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), the women used to greet him and ask him questions concerning things they did not understand, and the women also used to ask the companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) concerning things they did not understand. With regard to a woman shaking hands with other women, or shaking hands with men who are her mahrams, such as her brothers, uncles, etc., there is nothing wrong with that. Al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah in al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’lMar’ah al-Muslimah, part 3, p. 988 (www.islam-qa.com) 14044: Is a woman sinning if she shakes hands with a man? Question: Is a woman sinning if she shakes hands with a man when she is wearing gloves? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for a woman to shake hands with a non-mahram man even if she is wearing gloves or she shakes hands from under a cloth or abayah. All of that 86

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counts as shaking hands even if there is some kind of barrier. Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen in al-Fataawa alJaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, part 3, p. 992 (www.islam-qa.com) 26304: Is a woman’s voice ‘awrah? Question: Is what is said about a woman’s voice being ‘awrah correct? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The woman’s voice is not ‘awrah in principle, for women used to complain to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and ask him about Islamic matters. They also did that with the Rightly-Guided Khaleefahs (may Allaah be pleased with them) and the rulers after them. And they would greet non-mahram men with salaams and return greetings, and none of the imams of Islam denounced them for that. But it is not permissible for a woman to speak in a soft or alluring voice, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner” [al-Ahzaab 33:32] 87

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because men may be tempted by that, as is indicated by this aayah. And Allaah is the source of strength. From Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth al‘Ilmiyyah wa’l-Iftaa, 6/83. Please also refer to Question no. 1121, where you will find limits and guidelines on speaking to non-mahram women. This is an important topic. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 10156: He feels that something is discharged when he talks to women Question: Right i have this embarrassing problem that, i try to read namaz by i cannot because i have some kind of discharge from the private part. I do talk to girls but i do not get an errection or anything and this liquid comes out, maybe it is because of girls but u cannot help that in this society, i am not talking in the wrong way and stuff. I do not know why this is happening? I want to know it is not sperm. So does my wudu break and what do i do to get rid of this discharge of this fluid. I am really stuck. Pls e-mail urgently? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is haraam for you to look at women in the first place, let alone talk to them, even if it is as you say, that you do 88

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not talk to them in a bad way, because this is something that may lead you to haraam actions. See Question # 1200, 1121. With regard to this liquid, it is not maniy (sperm). See Question # 2458 for the difference between maniy (sperm) and madhiy (prostatic fluid) and the rulings concerning them. You have to keep away from such things, especially since, as you say, you are praying and reciting dhikr. Do not use the society in which you live as an excuse, because this is one of the tricks and traps of the Shaytaan; undoubtedly there are men with whom you may speak in a manner that is pleasing to Allaah. Remember the hadeeth of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him say something good or else keep silent.” We ask Allaah to guide us and you. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 13804: A reply to a Christian who denies that the Quran was revealed from Allah Question: My peace and blessing of Allah be upon you I am writting in hope that you will be able to help me dissolve my dilema. I am a practicing muslim woman ( 20 years old). I ‘v moved to XXX 5 years ago. My parents were never praticing muslims, but i’ve been thought about Islam from my grandmother. I’ve always been a believer in Allah . Until recently I did not know how to perform prayers, however I decided that 89

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there is nobody here to teach me so I had to do it myself. With the help of Allah I learned how to perform them, also I started wearing hijab. The problem I am writing with is that I’ve been seeing this guy with whom I feel in love with. Unfortunately he is not a muslim, but also he does not belong in any faith. He does believe in God I’ve been trying to convince him to join Islam and become part of the only true religion, otherwise I cannot marry him. ( we’ve been together for 3 years). What I cannot convince him is that Muhammad ( pbuh) is the messenger of Allah. He keeps asking me questions like “ How do you know that this is a word of God?, What if Muhammad just made it up as if it is a word from God.Please tell me how to convince him that Qur’an is a true word from none other but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger. Please help He keeps saying that if we were to get married he would not have a problem with me continuing to practice my religion. He is quite proud of me for starting to wear hijab in society where it is not common.( I might be one of the only people waaring hijab in this town, the beliefe in Allah gave me the strenght to do it)I know that he would not have a problem with me practicing my faith, but I would still like him to be a muslim. Even though he is a great person and does not do anything bad. It really hurts when I think that we cannot be together. Is it a major sin for me to get married to him? There is a lot of people who do it. Especially when there is no muslims around where I alive at all. There is a lot of muslim women that do it. Would I be terribly punished if I were to do marry him? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Praise be to Allaah Who has made good dear to you; we 90

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ask Him to increase you in guidance and faith, and to guide your parents to practise Islam and adhere to its rulings. With regard to the Quraan and the proof that it is the word of Allaah, these are specious arguments which were put forward out of stubbornness and arrogance by the first kaafirs to whom the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was sent. Allaah refuted what they said in many ways, proving their words to be false and pointing out what was wrong with it. For example: 1- This Quraan is challenge from Allaah to mankind and the jinn to produce anything like it, but they were unable to. Then He challenged them to produce only ten soorahs like it, and they were unable to. Then He challenged them to produce something like the shortest soorah in the Quraan, and they could not do it, even though those who were being challenged were the most eloquent and wellspoken of mankind, and the Quraan was revealed in their language. Yet despite that they stated that they were completely incapable of doing that. This challenge has remained down throughout history, but not one person has been able to produce anything like it. If this were the word of a human being, some people would have been able to produce something like it or close to it. There is a great deal of evidence for this challenge in the Quraan, for example, the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): Say: If the mankind and the jinn were together to produce the like of this Quraan, they could not produce the like thereof, even if they helped one another ; [al-Israa 17:88] Allaah says, challenging them to produce just ten soorahs: Or they say, He (Prophet Muhammad) forged it (the 91

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Quraan). Say: Bring you then ten forged Soorah (chapters) like unto it, and call whomsoever you can, other than Allaah (to your help), if you speak the truth! [Hood 11:13 interpretation of the meaning] Allaah says, challenging them to produce just one soorah: And if you (Arab pagans, Jews, and Christians) are in doubt concerning that which We have sent down (i.e. the Quraan) to Our slave (Muhammad), then produce a Soorah (chapter) of the like thereof and call your witnesses (supporters and helpers) besides Allaah, if you are truthful [al-Baqarah 2:23 interpretation of the meaning] 2- No matter how much knowledge and understanding mankind attains, they will still inevitably make mistakes, forget things or fall short. If the Quraan were not the word of Allaah, there would be some contradictions and shortcomings in it, as Allaah says: Had it been from other than Allaah, they would surely, have found therein many a contradiction [al-Nisa 4:82 interpretation of the meaning] But it is free from any shortcoming, error or contradiction; indeed, all of it is wisdom, mercy and justice. Whoever thinks that there is any contradiction in it, that is because of his diseased thinking and mistaken understanding; if he refers to the scholars they will explain to him what is correct and clear up the confusion for him, as Allaah says: Verily, those who disbelieved in the Reminder (i.e. the Quraan) when it came to them (shall receive the punishment). And verily, it is an honourable well fortified respected Book (because it is Allaahs Speech, and He has protected it from corruption). 92

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Falsehood cannot come to it from before it or behind it, (it is) sent down by the All Wise, Worthy of all praise (Allaah)” [Fussilat 41:41-42 interpretation of the meaning] 3- Allaah has guaranteed to preserve this Quraan, and He says: Verily, We, it is We Who have sent down the Dhikr (i.e. the Quraan) and surely, We will guard it (from corruption)” [al-Hijr 15:9 interpretation of the meaning] Every letter of it was transmitted by thousands from thousands down throughout history, and not one letter of it was altered. If any person tried to alter anything in it, or add something or take something away, then he would be exposed straight away, because Allaah is the One Who has guaranteed to preserve the Quraan, unlike the case with other divinely-revealed Books which Allaah revealed to the people of a particular Prophet only, and not to all of mankind, so He did not guarantee to preserve them, rather He delegated their preservation to the followers of the Prophets. But they did not preserve them, rather they introduced alterations and changes which distorted most of the meanings. The Quraan, on the other hand, was revealed by Allaah to all of mankind until the end of time, because the Message of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) is the final message, so the Quraan is preserved in mens hearts and in written form, as is proven by the events of history. How many people have tried to change the aayahs of the Quraan and deceive the Muslims, but they were quickly exposed and their falsehood was discovered, even by Muslim children. Another of the definitive signs that this Quraan was not produced by the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) but that it came revealed by Allaah to him is the following: 93

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4- The great miracles which the Quraan contains of legislation, rulings, stories and beliefs, which could not be produced by any created being no matter how great his intelligence and level of understanding. No matter how hard people try to promulgate laws to regulate their lives, they can never succeed so long as they are far away from the teachings of the Quraan; the further away they are, the greater their rate of failure. This is something that has been proven by the kuffaar themselves. 5- Reports of matters of the unseen, both past and future, which no human being could speak of independently, no matter how great his knowledge, especially at that time which is regarded as primitive in terms of technology and modern tools. There are many things which had not been discovered yet, and which have only been discovered after lengthy and difficult exploration with the most modern equipment, but Allaah told us about them in the Quraan, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) mentioned them, fifteen centuries ago, such as the stages of embryonic development, the nature of the oceans, etc. These things have made some kaafirs state that this could only have come from God, as in the case of the development of the embryo: Only 60 years ago, researchers confirmed that man does not come into existence all at once, but rather he passes through stages of development one after another. Only 60 years ago, science discovered this one Quraanic fact. Shaykh al-Zandaani said, we met an American professor, one of the greatest American scientists, whose name was Professor Marshall Johnson, and we told him that it says in the Qur’aan that man is created in stages. When he heard this, he was sitting down, but he stood up and said, Stages? We said, That was in the seventh century CE! This Book came and said, man was created in stages. He said, That is impossible, impossible We told him, Why 94

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do you say that? This Book says (interpretation of the meaning): He creates you in the wombs of your mothers, creation after creation in three veils of darkness [al-Zumar 39:6] What is the matter with you, that [you fear not Allaah (His punishment), and] you hope not for reward (from Allaah or you believe not in His Oneness). While He has created you in (different) stages [Nooh 71:14] Then he sat back down on his chair and after a few moments he said, There are only three possibilities. The first is that Muhammad had a huge microscope through which he managed to study these things and he knew things that the people did not know, and he said these things. The second is that this happened by accident, it was a coincidence. The third is that he was a Messenger from God. We said, With regard to the first idea, that he had a microscope and other equipment, you know that a microscope needs lenses, and lenses need glass and technical expertise and other equipment. Some of this information can only be discovered with an electron microscope which needs electricity, and electricity needs knowledge which should have been acquired by an earlier generation. It is not possible for this knowledge to have been acquired all at once in a single generation; the previous generation would have had to strive hard in developing science and transmitting it to the next generation, and so on. But for this to be the work of one man, with no one coming before him or after him, either in his own land or the neighbouring lands for the Romans, Persians and Arabs were ignorant and had no such equipment for one man to have all these instruments and 95

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tools which he did not pass on to anyone else this is not possible. He said, Thats right, it would be very difficult. We said, And for it to have been an accident or coincidence, what would you think if we said that the Quraan did not mention this fact only in one verse but in several verses, and that it did not refer to it in general terms but that it gave details of every stage, saying that in the first stage such and such happens, in the second stage such and such happens, in the third stage and so on. Could that be a coincidence? When we explained to him all the details of those stages, he said, It is wrong to say that this is an accident! This is well-founded knowledge. We said, Then how do you explain it? He said, There is no explanation except that this is revelation from above! nbsp; With regard to the many statements in the Quraan concerning the sea, some of these facts were not discovered until very recently, and many of them are still unknown. For example, these facts were discovered after hundreds of marine stations had been set up, and after images had been taken by satellites. The one who said this was Professor Schroeder, one of the greatest oceanographers in West Germany. He used to say that if science advanced, religion would have to retreat. But when he heard the translation of the verses of the Quraan, he was stunned and said, These could not be the words of a human being. And Professor Dorjaro, a professor of oceanography, told us of the latest developments on science, when he heard the aayah: Or (the state of a disbeliever) is like the darkness in a vast deep sea, overwhelmed with waves topped by waves, topped by dark clouds, (layers of) darkness upon darkness: if a man stretches out his hand, he can hardly see it! And he for whom Allaah has not appointed light, for him there is no light [al-Noor 24:40 interpretation of the meaning] 96

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He said, In the past, man could not dive to a depth of more than twenty meters because he had no special equipment. But now we can dive to the bottom of the ocean, using modern equipment, and we find intense darkness at a depth of two hundred meters. The aayah says a vast deep sea . The discoveries in the depths of the sea give us an understanding of the aayah, (layers of) darkness upon darkness. It is known that there are seven colours in the spectrum, including red, yellow, blue, green, orange, etc. When we dive down into the depths of the ocean, these colours disappear one after another, and the disappearance of each colour results in more darkness. Red disappears first, then orange, then yellow the last colour to disappear is blue, at a depth of two hundred meters. Each colour that disappears adds to the darkness until it reaches total darkness. With regard to the phrase waves topped by waves, it has been proven scientifically that there is a separation between the upper and lower parts of the ocean, and that this separation is filled with waves, as if there are waves on the edge of the dark, lower portion of the sea, which we do not see, and there are waves on the shores of the sea, which we do see. So it is as if there are waves above waves. This is a confirmed scientific fact, hence Professor Dorjaro said concerning these Quraanic verses, that this cannot be human knowledge. (See al-Adillah al-Maadiyyah ala Wujood-Allaah by Muhammad Mitwalli al-Sharaawi) And there are very many such examples 6- In the Quraan there are some aayahs which rebuke the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and mention some things to which Allaah drew his attention. Some of them may have been embarrassing for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). But if this Quraan had come from the Messenger of Allaah, 97

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there would have been no need for this; if he were to conceal any part of the Quraan, he would have concealed some of these verses which contained rebukes or drew his attention to certain matters which he should not have done, such as the verse in which Allaah says to His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): But you did hide in yourself (i.e. what Allaah has already made known to you that He will give her to you in marriage) that which Allaah will make manifest, you did fear the people (i.e., their saying that Muhammad married the divorced wife of his manumitted slave) whereas Allaah had a better right that you should fear Him [al-Ahzaab 33:37 interpretation of the meaning] After this, can there be any doubt left in the mind of any intelligent person that this Quraan is the word of Allaah, and that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) conveyed that which was revealed to him in full? Moreover, we tell this person, try it for yourself, read a sound translation of the Quraan and use your mind to ponder these rules and regulations. There is no doubt that any intelligent person who has the power of discernment will see a great difference between these words (of Allaah) and the words of any person on the face of the earth. With regard to your relationship with this young man, this noble religion forbids women to mix with men for a great and wise reason. So you have to stop meeting him and break off your relationship with him until he becomes Muslim, in which case you can marry him in a proper Islamic marriage. In the answer to Question no. 1200 you will find an explanation of the rulings on a Muslim woman mixing with non-mahram men. With regard to your love for him, this is a test from Allaah 98

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will you put your love of Allaah before your love for one of His creation, or will you put your love for this person before the love of your almighty Lord Who has forbidden such things. Note that whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better than that, the first of which is that you will find, in sha Allah, that Allaah will compensate you with comfort and tranquility in loving Him and striving to draw closer to Allaah by means of that which He loves; so your love for your Lord and your attachment to Him will increase, and your attachment to all of His creation will become weaker. In the answer to Question no. 10254 you will find some solutions to this problem. With regard to the ruling on a Muslim woman marrying a kaafir man, this is haraam according to scholarly consensus, indeed it is one of the major immoral actions which Allaah has forbidden in the Quraan. In the answer to Question no. 8396 and 1825 you will find a detailed response to this question. We advise you to be patient and to put up with difficulties, and to keep far away from everything that may cause you to do things that would anger your Lord. Note that Allaah has made this world a place of trial and testing for His believing slaves; whoever is patient and refrains from following his desries, seeking the pleasure of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with Paradise where He will bestow upon him all kinds of delight which cannot be compared with the fleeting worldly pleasures that he sacrificed. This is in addition to the happiness and tranquility that he will find in his heart when he obeys his Lord. Perhaps if he sees how you adhere to your religion and avoid meeting him and sitting with him despite your love for him, he will come to realize the greatness of this religion which makes its followers prepared to sacrifice 99

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all that they love in order to please their Lord, and that they hope for a great reward from their Lord for their patience in obeying Him and keeping away from that which He has forbidden and perhaps that will be the cause of his becoming Muslim. We ask Allaah to guide him to Islam, and to make goodness easy for you, and to keep all evil away from you Ameen. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 10254: She is attracted to a young man at school and wants a solution Question: I am having a really big problem. I am extremely attracted to this guy at my school. I can’t stop thinking about him. When I can sometimes control my feelings, I end up seeing him at school, and then the feelings come back. I know in my heart that these kind of actions are haram in Islam, but despite my efforts, I can’t stop. I try to avoid him as much as possible. We hardly ever speak to each other, and if we do, it’s just an exchange of salam. I don’t know what to do, I want these feelings to stop. It’s like shaitan just wins every time despite my efforts. I was wondering if there was some kind of a Dua’a or a prayer or something to stop myself. It’s like the more I try to stop myself from committing this sin, the less I can keep control. This is the first time I have had such strong feelings for a guy, and it’s very scary because it’s not right. Please, help me. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 100

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Feeling that the situation is dangerous is the most important step towards dealing with it. This feeling is present in your case, praise be to Allaah. Man will always need to strive against himself and give up sin. This is the wisdom of Allaah, so that the sincere and serious believer will be distinguished from others. Among the most important means of ridding yourself of this problem are: 1. Generating love for Allaah through the prescribed means, such as pondering His Signs and blessings. This will keep you from loving anyone else. 2. Striving to avoid meeting this young man, or sitting with him or looking at him. 3. Stopping yourself from thinking about him, by keeping yourself busy with thoughts of useful things, both spiritual and worldly. 4. If you can marry him - if he is righteous - or someone else, this is the natural solution to many of these problems. With regard to making du’aa’, Allaah answers those who call upon Him and are sincere in their du’aa’. If you say any of the following du’aa’s: Allaahumma tahhir qalbi (O Allaah, purify my heart); Yaa Muqallib al-quloob, thabbit qalbi ‘ala taa’atika (O Controller of the hearts, make my heart steadfast in obedience to You); Allaahumma iqsim li min khashiyatika ma tahoolu bihi bayni wa bayna ma’siyatika (O Allaah, give me a share of fear of You which will intervene between me and sin); Allaahumma inni as’aluka al-hudaa wa’l-tuqaa wa’l’afaaf wa’l-ghinaa (O Allaah, I ask You for guidance, piety, chastity and independence); 101

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Allaahumma Faatir al-samawaati wa’l-ard, ‘Aalim alghaybi wa’l-shahaadah, laa ilaaha ill anta, Rabba kulli shay’in wa Maleekahu, a’oodhu bika min sharri nafsi wa min sharr il-Shaytaan wa sharakihi, wa an aqtarif ‘ala nafsi soo’an aw ajurrahu ‘ala muslimin (O Allaah, Creator of the heavens and the earth, Knower of the unseen and the seen, There is no god except You, Lord and Sovereign of all things. I seek refuge with You from the evil of my own self and from the evil and traps of the Shaytaan, and from committing any sin against my own self or bringing evil upon any Muslim) - all of these are good du’aa’s which were narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). (See Tarteeb Ahaadeeth Saheeh al-Jaami’: Baab al ‘Ad’iyah al-Ma’thoorah). This must be accompanied by sincerity and persistence in making du’aa’. And Allaah is the Guide to the Straight Path. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 9280: Rulings concerning women riding with drivers and without a mahram Question: I am a woman who works as a student supervisor in one of the schools. The nature of my work is such that I go on trips to schools outside the city in which I work, where I go with some other women who work there, accompanied by a driver but without a mahram. What is the ruling on that, and what is the ruling on the salary I take? – knowing 102

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that my personal circumstances and my work circumstances do not allow me to have a mahram with me. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If there is another woman or two women with you, or more, and the driver is trustworthy, there is nothing wrong with you riding with these women without a mahram, so long as this does not constitute travelling, because travelling is not permitted without a mahram, even if there are other women with you. Concerning the trips outside the city, if the places are nearby and you come back the same day, this is not travelling and you do not need a mahram. From the Fatwas of al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen for alDa’wah magazine. (www.islam-qa.com) 3807: Pre-marital relationships are not permissible Question: I am in a relationship with a guy who can not make up his mind to get married. I have not yet became a muslim and I will soon We have talked about this being wrong for us to be together and if he was back in XXX, that he would not be able. I feel like wrong is wrong, and even if I hav not yet converted, that should not be the problem. His family wants him to come home, but when does a man have the right to make a choice? Maybe, because I am from the US I don’t understand the whole thing about family. When you have a wife or someone to be your wife, is she not your family too?Please help me to do what is right. Salaam, 103

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is true what you have said, that wrong is wrong. In Islam, pre-marriage relationships are not permissible. We believe that adultery is not permissible not only in Islam, but also in all religions of Allah (God). I believe that the gentleman of nationality XXX whom you are seeing is not serious in getting married, because if he were, he would have married you from the very beginning. In Islam, a man must respect the will of his parents, and in some cases he must obey them. You, in your present status, are not a member of his family. When you become his wife, then you are considered to be his family. Yet even then, if a father orders his son to divorce his wife because, for example, she has bad reputation or she is not a good Muslim, he must obey his father. My advice to you is to think seriously in embracing Islam, not for the sake of this man, but for the salvation of your soul and body from Hellfire. I believe by now, you have a good idea what Islam is, putting aside the bad example this gentleman has been setting. Therefor, you should stop seeing this man and you should become Muslim. If his love to you is genuine, he will propose to you. If he doesn’t, then be sure that Allah will not leave you alone, and as He guided you to his religion, He will send you a good Muslim who will cherish you and give you a decent life as a wife not as a mistress. I pray to Allah that He may enlighten your heart with Islam and guide you to make the right choice. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 104

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1114: Ruling on taking boyfriends or girlfriends Question: I am deeply in love with a Muslim man and want to marry him. I know that Allah forbids girlfriend-boyfriend relationships, and feel very sorry in my heart for our relationship. I feel that because we have been in this relationship which is abhorred by Allah, he will never marry me because he has lost respect for me. What does the Quaran say about this? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “… Wed them with the permission of their own folk and give them their mahr (dowry) according to what is reasonable; they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:25] In his commentary on this aayah, Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Muhsanaat [translated as “chaste”] means that they should be pure, not indulging in zinaa (unlawful sexual conduct), hence they are described as not being musaafihaat, which means promiscuous women who do not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them. Regarding the phrase wa laa muttakhidhaati akhdaan (‘nor taking boyfriends’), Ibn ‘Abbaas said: ‘almusaafihaat means those who are known to commit zinaa, meaning those who will not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them.’ Ibn ‘Abbaas also said: ‘muttakhidhaati akhdaan means lovers.’ A similar 105

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interpretation was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, Mujaahid, al-Sha’bi, al-Dahhaak, ‘Ataa’ al-Khurasaani, Yahyaa ibn Abi Katheer, Muqaatil ibn Hayyaan and al-Saddi. They said: (it means) lovers. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: ‘It means a (male) friend.’ Al-Dahhaak also said: ‘wa laa muttakhidhaati akhdaan also means a woman who has just one boyfriend or lover with whom she is happy. Allaah has also forbidden this, meaning marrying her so long as she is in that situation…’” Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Made lawful to you this day are al-tayyibaat [all kinds of halaal (lawful) foods…]. The food of the People of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due mahr (bridal money given by the husband to the wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in the Oneness of Allaah and in all the other Articles of Faith, the fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers.” [al-Maa’idah 5:5] Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Muhsineen ghayr musaafiheen wa laa muttakhidhi akhdaan (‘desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends’). Just as Allaah imposed the condition of chastity on women, meaning that they refrain from zinaa, so it is also imposed on men. The man must also be pure and chaste. So they should be ghayr musaafiheen, meaning they should not be adulterers who do not refrain from sin and do not refuse any who come 106

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to them (for immoral purposes). Nor should they be muttakhidhi akhdaan, meaning those who have girlfriends or female lovers with whom they have an exclusive relationship, as quoted above from Soorat al-Nisaa’. (The one with many lovers or the one with just one lover) are both the same. For this reason Imaam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allaah have mercy on him) said that it is not right to marry a promiscuous woman unless she has repented, or to arrange a marriage of such a woman to a chaste man, so long as she is still conducting herself in this manner. Similarly, he (Ahmad) says that it is not right for a promiscuous man to marry a chaste woman unless he repents and gives up his immoral conduct, because of this aayah… We will discuss this matter in further detail after quoting the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Noor 24:3] Among the stories that show that it is forbidden to have girlfriends or to marry them is the story of Marthad ibn Abi Marthad, who used to smuggle Muslim prisonersof-war from Makkah to Madeenah. There was a prostitute in Makkah, called ‘Anaaq, who had been a friend of Marthad’s. Marthad had promised to take one of the prisoners from Makkah to Madeenah. He said: “I came to the shade of one of the gardens of Makkah on a moonlit night, then ‘Anaaq came and saw my shadow by the garden. When she reached me, she recognized me and said: ‘Marthad?’ I said, ‘Marthad.’ She said: ‘Welcome! Stay with us tonight.’ I said, ‘O ‘Anaaq, Allaah has forbidden zinaa (unlawful sexual relations)’ … I came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and asked him, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, should I marry ‘Anaaq?’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace 107

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and blessings of Allaah be upon him) remained silent and did not answer me at all, until the aayah ‘Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman; to the Believers such a thing is forbidden’ [al-Noor 24:3 – Yusuf ‘Ali’s translation] was revealed. Then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘O Marthad, Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman, so do not marry her.’” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 3101; he said: it is a hasan ghareeb hadeeth). ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Maghfal reported that there was a woman who had been a prostitute during the days of ignorance (before Islam). A man passed by her, or she passed by him, and he touched her. She said: “Stop it! (Mah! A word connoting a rebuke or denunciation). Allaah has done away with shirk and had brought Islam.” So he left her alone and went away, still looking at her, until he walked into a wall, hitting his face. He came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him what had happened. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You are a man for whom Allaah wishes good. When Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted, wishes good for His slave, He hastens the punishment for his sin, so that it is dealt with before the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by al-Haakim, 1/349, who said this hadeeth is saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him. See Saheeh al-Jaami’, 308). These aayaat and ahaadeeth clearly indicate that it is haraam (forbidden) for men to have any kind of friendship or relationship with non-mahram women (women to 108

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whom they are not closely-related and to whom they could get married). The evil consequences and misery caused by such relationships are obvious to anyone who observes real life. A similar question has been asked under #2085. We ask Allaah to keep us far away from that which is forbidden, to protect us from all that may earn His wrath and to keep us safe from a painful punishment. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 2013: How to give classes to a mixed group of (teenage) boys and girls Question: I am a high school student who recently came to Toronto, Canada, I was in riyadh for 13 years and I am giving islamic halaqas in my high school to Muslim students. Boys to my left and girls to my right, the question is: Is this ikhtilat ?? Mixing between boys and girls?? I am the MSA leader and not quite sure of this issue ,,,, Salam Answer: Praise be to Allaah. May Allaah reward you for your efforts in giving useful lessons to these Muslim students in your city, who are in the greatest need of learning about their religion in a land of kufr. Perhaps your background of having lived in Saudi Arabia will help you with this. I advise you to concentrate on teaching them about Tawheed and correct Islamic 109

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‘aqeedah (belief), explaining how to do acts of worship from a Fiqh point of view, and teaching them the biographies of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his Companions. As for the matter which you raised in your question, letting boys and girls sit together facing one another in one halaqah is not free from dangers, as you know. I think that you feel the same way, which is what made you ask this question, especially when we expect that the hijaab of the girls where you live is incomplete and that the faces of some of them, at least, are uncovered in front of the boys. For this reason I suggest one of two things: either get the girls to sit behind the boys, wearing full hijaab, so that you don’t feel embarrassed when you face the group to give a lesson; or put up a barrier or screen between the boys and girls, such that they can still hear your voice, if the girls do not want to wear full hijaab. Then they can ask questions from behind the screen, so long as they are not soft in speech, or they can write questions on pieces of paper. May Allaah help us and you to do good and to call people to His way and earn His pleasure. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 1774: First and second glance at women Question: I know it is absolutely forbidden to gaze at women. If one accidentally catches my eyes sometimes I keep 110

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looking for a second or two and then I remember Allaah’s command and immediately look down . My question is for that very little time that I do look at the lady do I earn sins? I was reading in Yusuf Qradawai’s halaal wal haraam fil Islam that the Qur’aan says lower the gaze, and that the gaze is defined by “carressing the eyes with her beauty or thinking lustful thoughts while looking “. Alhamdulillaah, I have never gone to this point inshaa-Allaah . But I am worried about those two seconds . May Allaah bless you Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Jareer ibn ‘Abdullaah said: “I asked the Messenger of Allaah (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) about an accidental glance at a woman. He commanded me to turn my gaze away.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said: This is a saheeh hasan hadeeth. See al-Sunan, 2700). Commenting on this hadeeth, al-Mubaarakpoori said: “ ‘Accidental’ means that his gaze fell on a non-mahram woman unintentionally. ‘He commanded me to turn my gaze away’ means that he was not to look a second time, because the first glance was not by choice and would be forgiven, but any further glances would be counted as sin, and he should heed the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)…’ [al-Noor 24:30]” The Messenger of Allaah (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) said: “O Ali, do not follow a glance with 111

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another, for you will be forgiven for the first, but not for the second.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 2701; see Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7953) In al-Tuhfah, he said: “The words ‘do not follow a glance with another’ mean do not look again after the first glance. ‘You will be forgiven for the first’ means that you will be forgiven if the first glance was unintentional, and ‘but not for the second’ means that because the second glance was by choice, it will be counted against you.” So it is clear that deliberately looking at a non-mahram woman and continuing to look after a first accidental glance is haraam. It is forbidden to look at any part of her body, whether you think she is beautiful or not, whether it provokes sexual desire or not, whether it is accompanied by evil thoughts or not, and whether it leads to immoral deeds or not. We ask Allaah to protect you and us from all haraam deeds. Allaah is the One Who guides to the Straight Path. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com)

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Chapter 2 Manners of Speaking With Women 45668: Is what he did to find out about his fiancée correct? Question: I have a cousin (daughter of my maternal aunt) who seems to be religiously committed and of good character, but I do not know much about her personality and outlook on life, or how well we would get along. I used the internet as a means to get to know her, whilst being very careful to adhere to proper etiquette, especially since we come from a conservative family. Praise be to Allaah, I reached the decision to marry her in sha Allah, but it may take two years or more until I am ready, because I am still a student in the last year of university. My question is: Is what I did permissible? Especially since it went on for nearly a year, because the customs of marriage in our society do not allow one partner to get to know the character of the other until they get engaged, but after that if it becomes clear that the two are not compatible and they cancel the engagement, that will lead to problems and severing of family ties. I feel worried about what I did and I am afraid that it may be considered a sin or an act of treachery. It is permissible to continue our correspondence until I come and propose marriage to her?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible to correspond or converse with a non113

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mahram woman. If a man intends to propose marriage then he should follow the Islamically-prescribed means of doing so. If the woman whom he wants to marry is one of his relatives, then it should be more straightforward because either he will knows about her or he will be able to find out about her from the women of his own family. It is not possible for a man or a woman to find out about the real character of one another through correspondence and conversing before marriage, because neither of them will show anything but their best side. Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen was asked: If a man corresponds with a woman and they fall in love, is this regarded as a haraam action? He replied: This action is not permitted, because it provokes desire between them and makes them hope to meet and get in touch. This often leads to temptation and sows the seeds of zina in the heart, which leads to immoral actions or the things that lead to them. We advise all those who want to protect themselves to avoid corresponding and the like, so as to protect their religious commitment and their honour. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/578, 579 We have already stated that correspondence between the two sexes is haraam, in the answers to questions no. 26890 and 10221. It is permissible for the man who has proposed marriage to look at his fiancée, without being alone with her or shaking hands with her. So you could do the marriage contract and delay consummation of the marriage, so that your meeting with her will be acceptable according to 114

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sharee’ah, and during this period you could focus on getting to know her more and more. In the answer to question no. 7492 there is an important discussion of this matter. See also the answers to questions no. 7757, 2572 and 20069 to find out more about the limits of the relationship between a man and his fiancée. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 1497: Manners when talking to women Question: I have heard a ruling regarding the reasons a male Muslims is allowed to speak to a Muslim female and want to know if it is correct. It said that there are only five reasons one may talk to her: 1. to ask how her family 2. for medical purposes 3. for financial purposes (e.g. in a shop) 4. to find out about her personality for marriage suitability 5. to give her dawah (Islamic knowledge). Is this correct? If it is, please provide the evidence from where the ruling is made (i.e. Daleel). Answer: Praise be to Allaah.

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The conditions for speaking to a woman to whom one is not related are mentioned in the following aayaat (interpretation of the meaning): ”. . . And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen; that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts . . .” [al-Ahzaab 33:53] ”. . . then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.” [al-Ahzaab 33:32] Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in his Tafseer: “This means that they should not speak softly. Allaah commanded them to speak in a concise and decisive manner (i.e., they should be serious and brief in their speech, and not be vague or talk aimlessly). There should be no possible indication on the face that could be taken to indicate any softness in the heart, as the Arab women (before Islaam) used to do when speaking to men, by making their voices soft like women who are taking care of small children, or like prostitutes. Allaah forbade women to do that. The phrase “lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire” means lest such a person should hope for immoral deeds, indecency or romance. “Speaking in an honourable manner” means speaking in a way that does not go against Sharee’ah or offend people. Women are encouraged when speaking to men to whom they are not related and to mahrams among their in-laws to be somewhat rough or abrupt in their speech, without raising the voice, because they are commanded to lower their voice. Speaking with a woman to whom one is not related (i.e., not mahram) should only be for a specific need, such as asking a question, buying or selling, asking about the head of the household, and so on. Such conversations should 116

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be brief, with nothing doubtful in either what is said or how it is said. The idea of limiting speech with women to the five instances mentioned in the question needs to be approached with caution, because they could be taken as examples instead of limits. One must also adhere to the conditions set out by the Sharee’ah even in instances where such conversations are necessary, such as in da’wah, giving fatwas, buying or selling, etc. And Allaah knows best. Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 13791: He wants to talk to a woman before he proposes marriage to her Question: I have never spoken to her, and generally do not speak to women. We sometimes exchange salams. How do I propose to her and approach her for marriage, since I am a practising muslim, and do not talk to sisters what is the best way? Should I go and speak to her and get to know her first, without stepping beyond the boundaries of Allah? or shall I propose straight away? I am afraid that because she does not really know me, and that we are from different cultural backgrounds I will be rejected instantly if I propose straight away without getting to know her first. Whilst on the other hand I fear that I am doing something Un-islamic If I talk to her and get to know her. I am in a difficult situation what is the best thing to do? 117

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Note that it is permissible for a man to speak to a nonmahram woman, subject to important guidelines and conditions, the purpose of which is to prevent fitnah and sin. These conditions include : 1- That it is not possible to speak to her through one of her mahrams or through a woman who is his mahram. 2- That should be done without being alone with her (khulwah). 3- That should not go beyond permissible topics. 4- There should be no fitnah (temptation). If his desire is stirred by talking to her or if he starts to enjoy it, then it is haraam. 5- The woman should not speak in a soft manner, 6- The woman should be wearing full hijaab and be modest, or he should speak to her from behind a door. It is better if they speak on the phone, and even better if they communicate via letters or e-mail, for example. 7- That should not go beyond what is necessary. If these conditions are met and there is no fear of fitnah, then it is o.k. And Allaah knows best. Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan said, in his answer on the ruling about young men speaking to young women on the telephone: “It is not permissible for young men to speak to young women because of the fitnah involved, unless the girl is engaged to the man who is talking to her, and they talk only about matters pertaining to their engagement; but it is preferable and safer for him to speak 118

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to her guardian about that.” (al-Muntaqa min Fataawa al-Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, 3/163, 164). You have not proposed to this girl yet, so you have to be very careful and avoid exposing yourself to the causes of fitnah by taking all possible precautions to achieve your goal without approaching this girl. The basis for this is two aayahs from the Book of Allaah: 1 – “O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner” [al-Ahzaab 33:32 – interpretation of the meaning] 2 – “And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts” [al-Ahzaab 33:53 – interpretation of the meaning] Finally I would like to remind you that the Muslim’s standards when choosing a wife should be the standards encouraged by the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he said: “Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper].” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466). And I warn you against everything that may lead you into doing haraam things or bring you close to that, such as being alone with her, going out with her, etc. I ask Allaah to make it easy for you to find a woman who will help you to obey Him. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 119

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13819: Ruling on looking at a female employee for work purposes Question: I’m a male college student that has begun the process of looking for a job. Our school tells us that it is key, when interviewing for a job, to look at the job recruiter in the eyes, and not to stare at the ground or otherthings. nowadays, woman are the the ones giving the interviews and i was wondering if it is okay to look at her, because she might not get the right impression of me if i stare at the ground. please help, thanks? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The reason that you mention is not an excuse that makes it permissible to look at non-mahram women. You should seek halaal provision, and provision is in the hand of Allaah; that which is with Allaah cannot be obtained by disobeying Him. Rather Allaah has promised the pious (those who fear Him and keep their duty towards Him) that He will make a way for them to get out of every difficulty and He will grant them provision from (sources) they could never imagine, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure for all things”[al-Talaaq 65:2-3] 120

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What your teacher has told you goes against the words of Allaah: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is AllAware of what they do”[al-Noor 24:30 – interpretation of the meaning] And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah beu pon him) said in a saheeh hadeeth: “Avert your gaze.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 18715; Muslim, 2159). Who is more deserving of being obeyed, Allaah and His Messenger, or your teachers?! So I advise you to adhere to taqwa and to keep away from that which is haraam. Allaah will make it easy for you by His Leave and His Bounty. You can find more discussion on the rulings on looking at women in the answer to Question # 1774. Please refer to this as it is important. May Allaah give you strength and make things easy for you. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 12608: An example of the dangers of internet chat between the sexes Question: I have been using chat session for some time I am a married woman mother of two. During one session with a Male member, i got a little emotionally involved and even went to the extent of sending my photo thru email.I 121

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feel very guilty now and feel very ashamed of my behaviour.I also want to say that i never once indulged in immoral behaviour and any usage of bad language. Please tell me if what i have done is Haram. I have been asking for Almighty Allahs pardon since then. Could you please help me out in this. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly, there is no doubt that such conversations, if they lead to evil and to fitnah (temptation) – as happened to you when you were infatuated with this man – are haraam and are not permitted. Everything that leads to haraam is also haraam. See the answer to Question # 6453. Secondly: you have to repent to Allaah and seek His forgiveness for doing this haraam thing. You have to regret it and immediately stop engaging in chats with nonmahram men on these channels. You have to ask Allaah to cover your faults in this world and in the Hereafter. We advise you to use your time in things that will benefit you in your religious and worldly affairs, such as learning about your religion, taking care of your husband and looking after your children. Undoubtedly these are things for which Allaah will reward you. And you have to do a lot of righteous deeds, and get to know good women so that you will have alternatives to harmful uses of your time that bring no benefits. We ask Allaah to guide us all and give us all strength. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 122

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13004: Warning and comment on the Peking Women’s Conference Question: What is the view of the Muslim scholars on the recommendations of the Peking Women’s Conference? What is the ruling on getting rid of all forms of discrimination against women? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The fourth international conference on women has been announced in the media, to be held from 9-20/4/1416 (4/ 10/1995) in Peking, the capital of China. I have read a agenda prepared for this conference which includes 362 items in 177 pages, and the statements published by a number of scholars in the Muslim world stating the danger posed by this conference and the evil consequences it will bring to humanity in general and the Muslims in particular. It became clear to us, from the agenda mentioned above, that this conference is a follow-up to the conference on population and development which was held in Cairo in Rabee’ al-Thaani 1415 AH, concerning which statements were issued by the Council of Senior Scholars and the Founding Committee of the Muslim World League, both of which were headed by myself. The two statements both condemned the conference mentioned, because it went against the religion of Islam and opposed Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and because it promoted promiscuity and the violation of sanctities, and aimed to turn human societies into herds of animals, so the conference should be boycotted… etc.

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Now comes this conference which is along the same lines as the Cairo conference, focusing on the equality of men and women in all areas. The proposals of the document referred to above have been adopted by the General Secretariat of the United Nations on the basis of principles of kufr and misguided means of achieving that, including the following: Calling for the abolition of any law that distinguishes between men and women on the grounds of religion; calling for promiscuity in the name of “practising safe sex”; encouraging single-parent families; educating the youth, boys and girls, about sexual matters; fighting discrimination between men and women; calling upon young men and women to destroy the differences between the two sexes that are based on religion; telling them that religion is an obstacle to equality… and other obvious examples of kufr and misguidance that are mentioned in the document. This plot is against Islam and the Muslims, and indeed against humanity as a whole, to rid it of chastity, modesty and honour. Hence it is obligatory for the Muslim authorities and all those to whom Allaah has given power over the Muslims’ affairs, to boycott this conference and to take the necessary measures of preventing its evils from reaching the Muslims. They must present a united front against this immoral assault. The Muslims must take precautions against the plots of the plotters and the hatred of those who hate. We ask Allaah to foil the plots of our enemies and turn them against them. We ask them to bring these efforts of theirs to naught, and to give the Muslims and their leaders the strength to do what is in their best interests. May He reform them, men and woman alike, and grant them happiness and salvation in this world and in the Hereafter, for He is the One Who is Able to do that. May Allaah 124

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bless our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions, and grant them peace. Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-‘Allaamah ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 9, no. 203 (www.islam-qa.com) 6118: He is being taught by a female teacher – what should he do? Question: I am a high school student and my question is: What can I do about the women at my school? They are my teachers and class mates and I have to talk to them and look at them. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. We put this question ( What should medical students do in lectures given by female teachers? ) to Shaykh ‘AbdAllaah ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him), who replied as follows: People like these students have no other option, so they have to try hard to lower their gaze, protect themselves and keep away from temptation which could lead them into haraam actions. If he notices that he is starting to slip towards something haraam, he should stop attending the lecture. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen (www.islam-qa.com) 125

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7576: Muslim women giving talks in gatherings where nonmahram men are present Question: is it allowed for a brother to organise i talk and the speaker is a sister. the issue is on women in islam but the sister is talking to every on (brothers and sister)i thought it’s not but the organisors say it is allowed but they ask for evidence is there any on this issue Answer: Praise be to Allaah. We put this question to Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) who answered as follows: In our opinion this is not permissible except in cases of necessity, and on the condition that the men cannot see her. There should be a screen between her and them, and she should not soften her voice too much, because her voice may be ‘awrah. Women are not allowed to say Tasbeeh out loud in the prayer – if the imaam makes a mistake – instead they are commanded to clap [to draw the imaam’s attention to a mistake], lest their voices be recognized. Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen At this point we would ask the brothers who are organizing these lectures: what need is there for a woman to give a lecture in front of a group of people which includes men? We hope that the answer will not be because they want to prove that Islam does not oppress women or to prove that they are open-minded and enlightened! Or any other weird 126

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and mistaken reasons that can never be used to justify opening the doors to fitnah (temptation) which Islam seeks to shut firmly. We constantly repeat our advice: organize your activities within the framework of sharee’ah. And Allaah is the Guide to the Straight Path. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 12085: He speaks improperly with a woman, with the excuse that he is teaching her Question: I am a girl who has been on the Internet for a short time, but I have noticed that some people are very confused and they mix truth with falsehood. From the way some of them speak, they appear to be good and pious, but some of the things they do are very strange. When I first starting going on the Internet, some of the sites I went to were chat rooms. I admit that this was a mistake on my part, but I have put matters right, alhamdu-Lillaah. I stopped going into chat rooms two weeks after I started. But whilst I was visiting chat rooms I got to know a man who, from what he says, appears to be righteous and pious, and keen to pursue good. He tries to put right whatever he can, and he sends out letters containing words of religious exhortation by e-mail to everyone he knows. He goes into chat rooms on the basis of the belief and principle that he adheres to, which is that good people should be present in these sites, in which there are a lot of bad people, in order to crowd out the bad people. The main thing is that I stopped going to the chat rooms, but I continued to 127

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communicate with him by e-mail. He was trying to persuade me that I had to go to the chat rooms in order to reform the women, because women are closer to other women, especially on sites where there are so many women that the “wolves” are tempted to come and “hunt” them. I did not respond to his request because I knew how damaging it is to go to those sites where the evil outweighs the good. The way he spoke to me in his letters was very respectful and he was very selective in the words he chose; I was equally careful in the way I spoke to him. This encouraged me to ask him to teach me the basics of the Internet via e-mail, or, if that was not possible, via “messenger”. He agreed to do that via “messenger” so we started the lessons, and he carried on being respectful and serious. But I noticed that sometimes he would joke or get carried away in talking about matters that had nothing to do with the lesson, which he called educational topics. And he also asked about some personal matters such as the city where I live, etc. I knew that he was in touch with a group of women with whom he discussed educational matters and the state of the Muslims, etc., and that these discussions might go on for hours. I did not like this state of affairs and I told him that frankly. I also told him that this joking was not permitted, and that he should be formal when speaking with women, and not use certain phrases. He quoted as evidence that it is permissible to speak with women the fact that the shaykhs answer questions from women; and he quoted as evidence that it is permissible to joke the hadeeth “No old women will enter Paradise” – meaning that the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was joking with that old woman when he said that to her. He said that being too formal and reserved may lead to the opposite result. I was not convinced by his arguments, because from the little knowledge that I have, this is not permitted. I asked him to complete the lessons via e-mail and not to use the “messenger”, and until now he has not replied at 128

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all. I find it strange and wonder how he could do that when he has reached such a high level of knowledge and religious commitment, as well as being haafiz al-Qur’aan (i.e., he has memorized the Qur’aan by heart). I want to point out that this is a subtle trap that is one of the snares of the Shaytaan, by means of which he confuses people. What is the final word on this problem? Please excuse me for writing such a long question. May Allaah reward you with good. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. You should cut off all contact with this man immediately, and make use of books and educational web-sites so that you will have no need to consult him. Make sure that you yourself do not become a means of misguiding a daa’iyah or haafiz in the first place by doing something that is wrong. We ask Allaah to guide us, you and him, and to make us all steadfast. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 3396: He wants to talk to a girl without saying anything improper Question: What type of love affair is allowed in Islam? Can I talk to her privately or write without any sexual insinuation? Or, can I tell her that I like her? And if my parents disagree, Do I still possess the right to marry her? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 129

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The kind of love that is permissible is that which arises in a person’s heart without there being any intention to do something haraam such as looking or mixing etc. As far as talking or writing to the girl is concerned, if this will lead to haraam actions or there is the fear that it may do so, then it is not permitted. In general terms, we advise you not to do that, because it may start off innocently and in a proper manner, then develop in such a way that it makes a person do something haraam. If your parents do not want you to marry this girl, then try to convince them, and if you cannot, then look for someone else, because there may be something good in that although you may not realize it. Shaykh Muhammad al-Duwaysh (www.islam-qa.com) 10221: What is the ruling on girls corresponding with boys? Question: Many young girls correspond with boys, and they write in their letters things that I would not dare to write or mention to you. This phenomenon is widespread in this society. Hence we earnestly hope that you can do us the favour of writing to us a letter in which you tell us the answer to this problem, with evidence (daleel) and proof. I have told many of them about how serious this matter is, but I cannot do much and I do not have deep knowledge, so I failed to convince them despite my repeated attempts. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. One of the essential aims of sharee’ah is to protect people’s lineage and honour. For this reason, 130

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Allaah has forbidden zinaa and ordered that it be punished by whipping or stoning. And He has forbidden the means that may lead to zinaa, such as a man being alone with a non-mahram woman, sinful looks, and women travelling without a mahram or going out of their homes wearing perfume and make-up, clothed yet naked, seeking thus to attract young men and provoke their desires and tempt them away from their religious commitment. This also includes a man speaking to a woman in a deceitful manner, and her speaking to him in a soft voice so as to tempt him and provoke his desire, so that he will fall in her trap – whether this is done in person, over the phone, via correspondence or in some other manner. For this reason, Allaah forbade the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), even though they were good and pure, to make a display of themselves in the manner of the first Jaahiliyyah, or to speak in soft voices so as to provoke the desire of those in whose hearts was a disease; and He commanded them to speak in a manner that was honourable. Allaah said (interpretation of the meaning): “O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allâh), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner. And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance…” [al-Ahzaab 33:3132] So Muslim youths must fear Allaah, protect their chastity and lower their gaze. They should refrain from speaking or writing any obscene words of immoral romance or deceit. Muslim girls are obliged to do likewise, to remain chaste and not to go out wearing make-up, clothed yet naked. 131

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It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are two types of the people of Hell that I have not seen yet: men with whips like the tails of cattle, with which they strike the people, and women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait, with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. They will never enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance.” (Narrated by Ahmad and by Muslim in alSaheeh). If young men and women obey Allaah and His Messenger, and rise above worldly matters, keeping away from fitnah and sources of suspicion, that will be better for them, purer for their hearts and better for their reputations and their societies. And Allaah is the Source of strength. From Fataawaa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 12/381-381 (www.islam-qa.com) 6453: Men and women talking to one another on the internet within the limits of good manners Question: Well a year from now one of my friend, a girl, had introduced me to one of her online brother..and we have been talkin online for about a year now. Its not like we have ever talked about anything indecent, we talk in a well respected manner, and he sometimes jokes around,too. We both are aware of our religion..and we know how it is haraam to have girlfriends or boyfriends. But over time we both hav grown interested in each other.. and he has told me that he wants to marry me, but right 132

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now is too soon, i m only 16 and will be 17 in 2 months... the situation is too hard to explain...and i am really confused on what should be done..and what shouldnt. I really dont want to do anything that is Haraam or isnt right.. and i do have faith in Allah..that if he is good for me oneday we will be together... So i just needed some advice on this.. is talkin to a non-mahram guy online wrong?.. And this is the only way we know each other which is through internet...we havent met..but we have seen each other’s pictures.. Well i hope all this makes sense to you..and you will be able to help me out here, cause right now i really need it.. i have been lookin through ur site and trying to learn more about our religion..and it is mashallah a good source.. but me still confused..about this situation... we havent done anything wrong..just talk online.. and hoping that Allah will guide us to be together... but the question that keeps coming up on my mind is if Islaamicaly is all this acceptable.. i have talked to other ppl..and he has talked to people too..and some say its wrong...and some say its ok as long as our niyyat is good and we havent done anything wrong. please give me some advice here..thank you.. khuda hafiz Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is known in the religion of Allaah that it is forbidden to follow in the footsteps of the Shaytaan. Everything that could lead a person to fall into haraam things is also haraam, even if in principle it is originally permitted. This is what the scholars call “the principle of warding off harm.” Concerning this matter, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

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“O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan.” [al-Noor 24:21]. With regard to the second matter, He says (interpretation of the meaning): “And insult not those whom they (disbelievers) worship besides Allaah, lest they insult Allaah wrongfully without knowledge…” [al-An’aam 6:108] Here Allaah forbids the believers to insult the mushrikeen lest that leads to them insulting the Lord, may He be glorified and exalted. There are many examples of this principle in sharee’ah. Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) mentioned many of them and explained them well in his excellent book A’laam al-Muwaqqi’een. (See 3/147-171 thereof). The issue under discussion here also comes under this category. Conversation – whether verbally or in writing – between men and women is permissible in and of itself, but it may be a way of falling into the traps of the Shaytaan. Whoever knows that he is somewhat weak, and is afraid that he may fall into the traps of the Shaytaan, has to refrain from such conversations, in order to save himself. Whoever is sure that he will be able to remain steadfast, then we think that it is permissible in his case, but there are certain conditions: The conversation should not be allowed to wander too far from the topic being discussed; or it should be for the purposes of calling others to Islam. They should not let their voices be soft, or use soft and gentle expressions. 134

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They should not ask about personal matters that have no bearing on the matter being discussed, such as how old a person is, how tall he or she is, or where he or she lives… etc. Other brothers (in the case of men) or sisters (in the case of women) should take part in the conversation or read the correspondence, so that the Shaytaan will find no way to enter the hearts of the people who are conversing or corresponding. The conversation or correspondence must be halted immediately if the heart starts to stir with feelings of desire. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 1121: Limits and conditions within which a man may speak to a non-mahram woman Question: My question is about the adab or the manner between a brother and sister? I need clarifcation, are we allowed to give salam to sister who is not your muhram or talk to her as you talk to a brother, and how much you allowed to talk? and what about the non-muhram who are cousine, for example the uncles daughter Am I allowed to give salam and talk to her, and how is her life?please provide for me daleel(proof) and what about marriage? what allowed talk and salam, ( what is allowed and not) all these things! because today people mixed between culture and deen, 135

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when you tell them about that they say you are bringing new religon!, even alot brothers who relgious don’t know this, you may see salafy brother talking weetlgy to sister who were nikab and not his muhram, Answer: Praise be to Allaah. In brief, what the fuqaha’ have said about women’s voices is that they are not ‘awrah in and of themselves, and there is nothing wrong with listening to them when there is a need to do so, so they do not forbid listening to them, but certain conditions apply, as follows: The woman should speak without elongating the words, making her voice soft, or raising her voice. It is haraam for a man to listen with enjoyment, for fear of fitnah (temptation). The decisive factor for knowing what is haraam in the matter of women’s speaking is what is included in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.” [al-Ahzaab 33:32] What is forbidden is being too soft in speech. It is obligatory for women to speak in an honourable manner, which means, as the mufassireen explained, that they should not make their voices soft when addressing men. In conclusion, what is required of the Muslim woman when she speaks to a non-mahram man is that she should adhere to what is mentioned in this aayah. She should 136

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refrain from what is forbidden and should fulfil her duties. She should speak only when necessary, and only about matters that are permissible and honourable, not evil. Between a woman and a non-mahram man there should be no intonation, gestures, chat, joking, flirting or playful talk, so that there will be no room for provocation of desires and doubts. Women are not prevented from talking to non-mahram men when it is necessary to do so, such as dealing directly with them when buying things or conducting any other financial transaction, because in such cases it is necessary for both parties to speak. A woman may also ask a scholar about some legal Islamic matter, or a man may ask a woman such questions, as is proven in various texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah. Within the guidelines described above, there is nothing wrong with a woman speaking to a non-mahram man. It is also permissible for men to greet women with salaam and vice versa, according to the most correct opinion, but this greeting must be free of anything that may provoke desire in the person in whose heart is a disease, so as to be safe from fitnah and pay attention to the regulations outlined above. If there is fear of fitnah being provoked by this greeting, then the woman should refrain from either initiating or returning the greeting, because warding off fitnah by neglecting the greeting is warding off mischief, and warding off mischief takes precedence over doing something useful. (See al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah by ‘Abd alKareem Zaydaan, vol 3/276). And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com)

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2105: Contact with a fiancée via the Internet Question: As salamu alaykum I asked a sister for her hand in marriage on-line and we talk to each other casually on the internet; is it allowed to speak to her even though I am not able to get married until I graduate (in 3 years). was salamu alaykum Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If a proper nikaah (marriage contract) has been done, then you can talk to her however you want, whenever you want, because she is legally your wife, even if you have not yet consummated the marriage. But if the Islamic contract has not yet been done, then she is still a “stranger” (nonmahram) to you, so avoid speaking directly to her. As for corresponding with her via e-mail or the Internet, there is nothing wrong with doing so, as long as the content of your letters is restricted to permissible matters such as advising, teaching and so on. But be very careful not to get dragged into romantic talk or anything else that could inflame desires or result in something bad. May Allaah help us and you to obey Him and to avoid everything that may earn His wrath. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 138

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Chapter 3 Etiquette of Dreams 14096: Seeing Allaah in a dream Question: What is the ruling on one who claims to have seen the Lord of Glory in a dream? Is it true, as some say, that Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal saw the Lord of Glory in a dream more that one hundred times?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah and others said that it is possible for a person to see his Lord in a dream, but what they see is not how He really is, because there is nothing like unto Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “There is nothing like Him, and He is the AllHearer, the AllSeer” [al-Shoora 42:11] So nothing in His creation resembles Him, but a person may see in his dream that his Lord is speaking to him, but whatever images he sees is not Allaah because there is nothing like unto Allaah, so there is nothing that resembles Him. Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen said concerning this that it may vary according to the situation of the person who sees it. The more righteous and good the person is, the closer his dream will be to what is true and correct, but Allaah is 139

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different from whatever he sees, because the basic principle is that there is nothing like unto Allaah. He may hear a voice that says such and such or do such and such, without seeing any image that resembles any created being, because there is nothing like unto Allaah. It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw his Lord in a dream. It was narrated from Mu’aadh (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw his Lord, and it was narrated via a number of isnaads that he saw his Lord, and that Allaah put His hand between the Prophet’s shoulders so that he felt its coolness on his chest. Al-Haafiz ibn Rajab wrote an essay on that which he entitled Ikhtiyaar al-Awla fi Sharh Hadeeth Ikhtisaam al-Mala’ al-A’laa. This indicates that the Prophets saw their Lord in their dreams. But as for seeing the Lord in this world with their eyes, that did not happen. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that no one will see his Lord until he dies. This was narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh. When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked whether he had seen his Lord, he said: “I saw Light.” This was narrated by Muslim from Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him). ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) was asked about that and she said that no one will see Him in this world, because seeing Allaah in Paradise is the greatest blessing for the Muslims, so that will happen only to the people of Paradise and the believers in the Hereafter, and to the believers in the place of standing on the Day of Resurrection. This world is the abode of trial and testing, the place shared by both good and evil people, so it is not the place for seeing Allaah, for seeing Him is the greatest blessing, so Allaah has saved it for His believing slaves in the abode of honour on the Day of Resurrection. 140

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With regard to seeing Allaah in a dream as many people claim to have done, that varies according to the situation of the one who saw that – as Shaykh al-Islam (Ibn Taymiyah – may Allaah have mercy on him) said – how righteous and pious the person is. Some people may imagine that they have seen Allaah when that is not the case, for the Shaytaan may appear to them and make them think that he is their Lord, as it was narrated that he appeared to ‘Abd al-Qaadir al-Jeelaani on a throne above the water, and said, “I am your lord and I have relieved you of obligations.” Shaykh ‘Abd al-Qaadir said: “Shut up, O enemy of Allaah, you are not my Lord, because the commands of my Lord can never be lifted from those who are accountable.” Or words to that effect. The point is that seeing Allaah when awake cannot happen to anyone in this world, not even the Prophets (peace be upon them), as stated above in the hadeeth of Abu Dharr. This is also indicated by the words of Allaah to Moosa (peace be upon him) when he asked his Lord to let him see Him. He said to him (interpretation of the meaning): “You cannot see Me” [al-A’raaf 7:143] But the Prophets and some of the righteous may see Him in a dream in a manner that does not resemble any of His creation, as stated above in the hadeeth of Mu’aadh (may Allaah be pleased with him). But if there is a command to do something that goes against sharee’ah, this is a sign that he has not seen his Lord, rather he has seen a devil. If he sees that he is telling him, Do not pray for you have been relieved of obligations, or you do not have to pay zakaah, or you do not have to fast Ramadaan, or you do not have to honour parents, or he says it does not matter if you consume riba (usury, interest) – all such things are signs that he has seen a devil and has not seen his Lord. With regard to the reports of Imam Ahmad seeing his 141

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Lord, I do not know if they are sound or not. It was said that he saw his Lord but I do not know if that is true. Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li’lShaykh Ibn Baaz, 6/367. (www.islam-qa.com) 14052: He wants to see the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in a dream Question: What is the best way to see Prophet Muhammad in a dream??. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There is no way prescribed in sharee’ah for the one who wants to see the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in a dream. It is appropriate here to comment on a number of matters that have to do with this question: 1 – The one who sees the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in a dream has to see him in his true form, at any stage of his life. So if a person claims to have seen light or a man with a completely white beard or a man wearing pants for example, these are not attributes of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), so this is not the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Shaytaan cannot appear in the true image of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), but he can appear in other forms. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: I heard the Prophet 142

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(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, “Whoever sees me in a dream will see me when he is awake, and the Shaytaan cannot take my shape.” AlBukhaari said: Ibn Sireen said: If he sees him in his true image. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6592; Muslim, 2266 If a man told Ibn Sireen that he had seen the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) [in a dream], he would say, “Describe to me the one whom you saw.” If he gave a description that he did not recognize, he would say, “You did not see him.” Its isnaad is saheeh. Al-Haakim narrated via ‘Aasim ibn Kulayb (who said), my father told me: I said to Ibn ‘Abbaas, “I saw the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in a dream.” He said, “Describe him to me.” He said, “I mentioned alHasan ibn ‘Ali and said that he looked like him.” He said, “You did indeed see him.” Its isnaad is jayyid. See Fath al-Baari, 12/383, 384. 2 – The Muslim should not concern himself with dreams and visions, basing his affairs on them and forgetting about the state of wakefulness in which Allaah has enjoined rulings and acts of worship on him. 3 – The Muslim who is following the Sunnah sees the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in his heart; the more he follows him the more he will see him. So when he goes out of his house or goes to the mosque or does wudoo’, he remembers what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do. When he prays or performs Hajj he follows his Sunnah. When he buys and sells or interacts with people, he acts according to the teachings of his Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When he is at home 143

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with his family and children he follows the teachings of his Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). This is what the Muslim should seek and strive to achieve. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 23367: Seeing the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in a dream Question: Once I saw Muhammad(SAW) in my dream. But he was like a young guy or young children. Of course his(SAW) appearence did not match with what I read about him(SAW). But, I think (Hope) that it was HE(SAW). Because I asked him(SAW):’ Are you indeed(really) Muhammad(SAW)?’ He(SAW) said:’YES’. Who, except him(SAW) himself, can say that? In the second time, there was a voice like in old times, when somebody is coming to the castle of the king.This voice said: ‘Muhammad(SAW)!’ And very handsome men, at the age between 40-45 came and just show me a piece of paper. And that was it. How can I know, that in both dreams it was he(SAW)?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: 144

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It should be noted that it is possible for a person to see the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in a dream, and that the Shaytaan cannot appear in the image of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), but he could appear in another form and claim that he is the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Whoever sees me in a dream will see me when he is awake; the Shaytaan cannot take my shape.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6592; Muslim, 2266). According to a report narrated by Ahmad (3400): The Shaytaan cannot resemble me.” Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: We have narrated it with a complete isnaad from Ismaa’eel ibn Ishaaq al-Qaadi from Sulaymaan ibn Harb – who was one of the shaykhs of al-Bukhaari – from Hammaad ibn Zayd from Ayyoob who said: If a man told Muhammad (meaning Ibn Sireen) that he had seen the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) [in a dream], he would say, “Describe to me the one whom you saw.” If he gave a description that he did not recognize, he would say, “You did not see him.” Its isnaad is saheeh, and I have found another report which corroborates it. AlHaakim narrated via ‘Aasim ibn Kulayb (who said), my father told me: I said to Ibn ‘Abbaas, “I saw the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in a dream.” He said, “Describe him to me.” He said, “I mentioned alHasan ibn ‘Ali and said that he looked like him.” He said, “You did indeed see him.” Its isnaad is jayyid. Fath al-Baari, 12/383, 384. 145

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With regard to those who say that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) may appear in all forms [in dreams], quoting as evidence the report narrated by Ibn Abi ‘Aasim from Abu Hurayrah, that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever sees me in a dream has indeed seen me, for I may be shown in all forms” – this hadeeth is da’eef (weak). Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: Its isnaad includes Saalih the freed slave of al-Taw’amah, who is da’eef (weak) who became confused (in old age), and this is a report from someone who heard it after he became confused. Fath al-Baari, 12/384. Secondly: What is mentioned in the question about having seen the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) as a young man or a child is possible, but it is also subject to the conditions mentioned above, which is that he should look as he would have looked at that age. Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: The phrase “[the Shaytaan] cannot” indicates that although Allaah gave him the ability to appear in any form he wants, He does not allow him to appear in the form of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). This was the opinion of a group who said concerning the hadeeth: What this refers to is when a person sees him as he really looked. Some of them restricted it even further and said: He must see him as he looked when he died, so he must even take into consideration the number of his white hairs which was no more than twenty.

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The correct view is that he may be seen at any age or in any condition, so long as he appears as he really looked at any time, whether as a youth, in the prime of manhood, in old age or any other time of his life. Fath al-Baari, 12/386. Thirdly: Once this is understood, it is possible for the Shaytaan to come to a person in his sleep and claim to be the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), if he comes in a form other than the way in which Allaah formed him at all stages of his life. The fact that there was a voice like in old times, or very handsome men, or someone who said “Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)” has nothing to do with seeing the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in his true form. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 14276: Can a sleeper be aware that he is dreaming? Question: What can you say about dreams.if somebody is dreaming and at the sametime he realize that is dreaming while still sleeping. Answer: Praise be to Allaah.

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A sleeper cannot be aware of himself or know that he is dreaming, because sleep is akin to death and sleep is referred to as mawt (“death”) in the Qur’aan and Sunnah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “It is Allaah Who takes away the souls at the time of their death, and those that die not during their sleep. He keeps those (souls) for which He has ordained death and sends the rest for a term appointed. Verily, in this are signs for a people who think deeply” [al-Zumar 39:42] Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: Here Allaah explains that the taking away of souls is of two types: He takes them away at the time of death, and He takes away the souls that did not die in their sleep. Then when they sleep, he keeps the soul of the one who dies in his sleep and He sends back the soul of the one who did not die in his sleep. Hence when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went to bed, he would say, “Bismika Rabbiy wada’tu janbi wa bika arfa’uhu fa in amsakta nafsi farhamha wa in arsaltaha fahfazha bima tahfazu bihi ‘ibaadaka al-saaliheen (In Your name my Lord I lie down and in Your name I rise, so if You should take my soul then have mercy upon it, and if you should return it then protect it in the manner You protect Your righteous slaves).” Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 4/275 Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “It is He, Who takes your souls by night (when you are asleep), and has knowledge of all that you have done by 148

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day, then He raises (wakes) you up again that a term appointed (your life period) be fulfilled, then (in the end) unto Him will be your return. Then He will inform you of that which you used to do” [al-An’aam 6:60] It was narrated that Hudhayfah ibn al-Yamaan said: When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went to bed, he would say: “Bismika amoot wa ahyaa (in Your name I live and die)” and when he got up he would say: “Al-hamdu Lillaah alladhi ahyaana ba’da ma amaatana wa ilayh il-nushoor (Praise be to Allaah Who has given us life after taking it from us and unto Him is the resurrection).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5953 This was also narrated by Muslim from the hadeeth of alBara’ ibn ‘Aazib (may Allaah be pleased with him). Al-Nawawi said: What is meant by amaatana (taking [life] away from us) is sleep. Al-nushoor (the resurrection) refers to the resurrection on the Day of Resurrection. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) pointed out that waking up after sleep which is like death is an affirmation of the resurrection after death. The scholars said: The wisdom behind saying the du’aa’ when wanting to sleep is so that a person’s final deed will be this du’aa’, and the wisdom behind saying the du’aa’ when waking up is so that the first of his actions will be remembrance of Tawheed and good words. Sharh Muslim, 17/35 Based on this, it is not possible for a sleeper to know that he is dreaming, because when he is asleep he is not aware 149

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in the way that he is when he is awake, so the rulings that apply when he is awake do not apply to him when he is asleep. Hence the sleeper is excused for not doing obligatory duties as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever forgets a prayer or sleeps and misses it, his expiation is to offer the prayer as soon as he remembers.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 572; Muslim, 684 Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said: Abu Ishaaq al-Zajjaaj said: Sleep is called mawt (“death”) because when a person is asleep he does not think and move, which is similar to the case of death. He said this in al-Nihaayah. Fath al-Baari, 11/14 And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 25768: Dreams Question: I hope you could help me out with this confusion,I had prayed Istikhara namaz 5 days back.I asked ALLAH if I would be able to convert a non-muslim to a muslim and guide him to the wright path for my love for islam and ALLAH,I am very obsessed with this because it’s my dying wish that i should be able to do this atleast once in my lifetime,because i love ALLAH dearly and with all my heart.I had prayed istikhra namaz asking ALLAH if I will ever be successful in executing this dream into reality,I also asked if he would guide me. but today 150

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morning i had a dream were i saw me and my cousin spending our holidays in a hotel and (lahaulwalaquat)I found both me and my cousin holding a green color chamapangne bottle and that we were both tempted to taste it as so we do(lahaulwalaquwat).and after a while later i see my elder brother coming in and both me and my cousin get terrified and scared.Then i see my elder sister in a black salwar and that a brown dog is chasing her. Imam saheb when I was dreaming I was getting really scared and I also feared that i commited a sin and then when i opened my eyes and got up from the left position(the position in which I was sleeping),i felt relieved that it was just a dream. It was 5.30am at that time and i had to rush for fazr prayers,but as i was praying i felt really happy and had this beautiful feeling inside of me,that was convincing me that ALLAH is with me and listening to my heart.I never had such a lovely feeling,and I feel happy even now as I’m writing to you. I don’t know what this means,shuld i believe in the dream or should I listen to my heart. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Note that the things people see in their sleep may come under one of two categories : 1 – Dreams/visions 2 – Confused dreams Confused dreams in turn are divided into two categories: 151

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1 – The Shaytaan’s attempts to frighten 2 – The workings of the subconscious. So it may be said that what people see in their dreams may be divided into three categories: 1- Visions or dreams that come from Allaah. 2- Attempts by the Shaytaan to frighten us 3- The workings of the subconscious. These categories are indicated by the hadeeth narrated in Saheeh Muslim (no. 2263) from Abu Hurayrah, which says that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the time (of the Day of Resurrection) draws near, a believer’s dream will hardly be false. And the truest vision will be of one who is himself the most truthful in speech, for the vision of a Muslim is the forty-fifth part of Prophecy, and dreams are of three types: the good dream which is glad tidings from Allah; the bad dream which causes distress, which is from the Shaytaan; and the dream which represents what a person is thinking about. So if any one of you sees a dream which he does not like he should get up and pray, and not tell people about his dream…” It was narrated from ‘Awf ibn Maalik that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Dreams are of three types: some are terrifying things from the Shaytaan, aimed at causing grief to the son of Adam; some are things that a person is concerned with 152

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when he is awake, so he sees them in his dreams; and some are a part of the forty-six parts of Prophecy.” (Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah, 3155) It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Dreams are of three types: glad tidings from Allaah, what is on a person’s mind, and frightening dreams from the Shaytaan. If any of you sees a dream that he likes, let him tell others of it if he wishes, but if he sees something that he dislikes, he should not tell anyone about it, and he should get up and pray.” (Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah, 3154) There follow a number of saheeh ahaadeeth which describe how to deal with what one sees in one’s dream. 1 – It was narrated that Abu Qutaadah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Good dreams come from Allaah and bad dreams come from the Shaytaan. If anyone sees a bad dream that scares him, let him spit drily to his left and seek refuge with Allaah from its evil, then it will not harm him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3292) 2 – It was narrated that Abu Salamah said: I used to see such terrible dreams that that I began to shake and have a fever, but did not cover myself with a cloak until I met Abu Qutaadah, and I mentioned that to him. He said, “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, ‘Good dreams come from Allaah and bad dreams come from the Shaytaan. If anyone sees a bad dream that he dislikes, let him spit drily to his left three times and seek refuge with Allaah from its evil, then it will not harm him.’” (Narrated by Muslim, 2261)

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3 – It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any one of you sees a dream that he dislikes, let him turn over, and spit drily to his left three times and ask Allaah of His goodness, and seek refuge with Him from its evil.” (Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah). 4 – It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any one of you sees a dream that he dislikes, let him spit drily to his left three times and seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan three times, and turn over onto his other side.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2262). 5 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us the difference between good dreams and bad dreams. It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that he heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “If any one of you sees a dream that he likes, it is from Allaah, so let him praise Allaah for it and tell people about it. But if he sees something other than that, that he dislikes, it is from the Shaytaan, so let him seek refuge with Allaah from its evil and not mention it to anyone, for it will not harm him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 7045). So it is clear that good dreams come from Allaah and bad dreams which a person dislikes come from the Shaytaan, so he has to seek refuge with Allaah from their evil. 6 – It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any one of you sees something that he dislikes, let him get up and pray, and not tell people about it.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2263). 154

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7 – It was narrated from Jaabir that a Bedouin came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “I dreamt that my head was cut off and I was chasing it.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) rebuked him and said: “Do not tell anyone how the Shaytaan is messing about with you in your dreams.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2268) So we may sum up from these ahaadeeth the most important points about what a person should do if he sees a dream that he dislikes, as follows: 1- He should know that this dream is from the Shaytaan who wants to cause him grief, so he should annoy the Shaytaan by not paying any attention to him. 2- He should seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan. 3- He should seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of this dream. 4- He should spit drily to his left three times, i.e., blowing with a little bit of saliva. 5- He should not tell anyone about it. 6- He should turn over from the side on which he was sleeping, so if he was lying on his left side he should turn over to his right side, and vice versa. 7- He should get up and pray. If a person adheres to this etiquette, then we hope that this bad dream will not harm him, as it says in the texts. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 155

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11731: She sees disturbing dreams, and she imagined having intercourse in her sleep Question: In my dreams i have people chasing me, sometimes its members of my family, sometimes people i dont know.it may sound wierd but its true. in such dreams i tend to fly up into the sky 2 escape from them and have been successful in doing so.does this mean Allah takes my soul and makes it actually fly.and also recently i had a dream in which an unknown man was having intercourse with me.i was shocked 2 have such a dream, did Allah take my soul then or was it another trick by shataan. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. These and similar unpleasant dreams come from the Shaytaan. What is prescribed for the Muslim, if he sees a dream that he dislikes, is to spit drily to his left three times and to seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan and from the evil of what he has seen, three times, and he should turn over onto his other side. Then it (his dream) will not harm him. And he should not tell anyone about it, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The good dream comes from Allaah and the bad dream comes from the Shaytaan. So if any one of you sees a bad dream which frightens him, let him spit drily to his left and seek refuge with Allaah from its evil, then it will not harm him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, Bad’ al-Khalq, 3049). If a woman sees in a dream that someone is having intercourse with her, this is something natural, for women 156

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may experience erotic dreams just as men do. An erotic dream (or “wet dream”) is when one imagines doing sexual acts in one’s dream. It was narrated in a hadeeth that Umm Salamah said: “Umm Sulaym came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, Allaah is not too shy to tell us the truth. Does a woman have to do ghusl if she experiences an erotic dream?’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘(Yes), if she sees some wetness.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, al‘Ilm, 127). Shaykh al-Bassaam said that the word ihtamalat (translated here as “she sees an erotic dream”) refers to whatever a sleeper may see in his dreams, and what it means here is if a woman sees in her dream what men see of images of intercourse and the like. If a woman sees such things in her dream, then if something comes out of her as a result of that dream, she has to do ghusl. But if she simply sees a dream and nothing comes out of her, then she does not have to do ghusl, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “If she sees some wetness.” And Allaah knows best. See Tawdeeh al-Ahkaam, 1/297. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 6537: Dreams and dream interpretation Question: dream interpretation in islaam..i’ve got a book by ibnsirine... i want more details about it.. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 157

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True dreams are a part of Prophethood, as it was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “True dreams are one of the forty-six parts of Prophethood.” (al-Bukhaari, 6472; Muslim, 4201) Dreams marked the onset of Revelation (al-Bukhaari, 3; Muslim, 231). The truthfulness of the dream is related to the sincerity of the dreamer. Those who have the most truthful dreams are those who are the most truthful in speech. (Muslim, 4200) Towards the end of time, hardly any dreams will be untrue. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “That will be because the Prophethood and its effects will be so far away in time, so the believers will be given some compensation in the form of dreams which will bring them some good news or will help them to be patient and steadfast in their faith.” (al-Bukhaari, 6499; Muslim, 4200) The same may be said of the miracles which appeared after the time of the Sahaabah. This did not happen during their time because they did not need them, due to their strong faith, but the people who came after them needed them (the miracles) because their faith was weak. Dreams are of three types: rahmaani (those that come from Allaah), nafsaani (psychological, they come from within a person) and shaytaani (those that come from the Shaytaan). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Dreams are of three types: a dream from Allaah, a dream which causes distress and which comes from the Shaytaan, and a dream which comes from what a person thinks about when he is awake, and he sees it when he is asleep.” (al-Bukhaari, 6499; Muslim, 4200) 158

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The dreams of the Prophets are wahy (revelation) for they are protected from the Shaytaan. The Ummah is agreed upon this. This is why Ibraaheem set out to fulfil the command of Allaah to sacrifice his son Ismaa’eel when he saw that in a dream; may peace be upon them both. The dreams of people other than the Prophets are to be examined in the light of the clear Wahy [i.e., the Qur’aan and Sunnah]. If they are in accordance with the Qur’aan and Sunnah, all well and good; otherwise, they should not be acted upon. This is a very serious matter indeed, for many of the innovators among the Sufis and others have gone astray because of this. Whoever wants to have true dreams should strive to speak honestly, eat halaal food, adhere to the commandments of sharee’ah, avoid that which Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) have forbidden, sleep in a state of complete purity facing the Qiblah, and remember Allaah until he feels his eyelids drooping. If he does all this, then his dreams can hardly be untrue. The most truthful of dreams are those that are seen at the time of suhoor [just before dawn], for this is the time when Allaah descends and when mercy and forgiveness are close. It is also the time when the devils are quiet, unlike the time of darkness just after sunset, when the devils and devilish souls spread out. (See Madaarij al-Saalikeen, 1/50-52) Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said: All dreams are either of two types: true dreams. These are the dreams of the Prophets and of the righteous people who follow them. They may also happen to other people, but this is very rare, such as the 159

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dream of the kaafir king which was interpreted for him by Yoosuf (peace be upon him). True dreams are those which come true in real life as they were seen in the dream. Mixed up false dreams, which warn of something. These are of different types: games of the Shaytaan to make a person distressed, such as when he sees his head cut off and he is following it, or he sees himself falling into a crisis and cannot find anyone to save him from it, and so on. When he sees some of the angels telling him to do something forbidden, or other things that cannot possibly make sense. When he sees something that happens to him in real life, or he wishes it would happen, and he sees it very realistically in his dream; or he see what usually happens to him when he is awake or what reflects his mood. These dreams usually speak of the future or the present, rarely of the past. See: Fath al-Baari, 12/352-354 Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any one of you sees a dream that he likes, this is from Allaah, so let him praise Allaah for it and talk about it to others. If he sees other than that, a dream that he dislikes, this is from the Shaytaan, so let him seek refuge with Allaah from its evil and not mention it to anyone, for it will not harm him.” (Narrated by alBukhaari, 6584, and Muslim, 5862). Abu Qutaadah said: the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Good dreams come from Allaah, and (bad) dreams come from Shaytaan. Whoever sees something that he dislikes, let him spit to his left 160

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three times and seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan, for it will not harm him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6594, and Muslim, 5862). The “spitting” referred to here is a soft, dry spitting with no saliva ejected. It was reported from Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any one of you sees a dream that he dislikes, let him spit to his left three times, and seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan three times, and turn over from the side on which he was sleeping.” (Narrated by Muslim, 5864) Ibn Hajar said: to sum up what has been said about good dreams, we may say three things: A person should praise Allaah for the good dream He should feel happy about it He should talk about it to those whom he loves but not to those whom he dislikes. To sum up what has been said about bad dreams, we may say four things: He should seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of the dream He should seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of the Shaytaan He should spit to his left three times when he wakes up He should not mention it to anyone at all. In al-Bukhaari, Baab al-Qayd fi’l-Manaam, a fifth thing was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, which is to pray. The wording of the report is: whoever sees something he dislikes (in a dream) should not tell anyone about it; rather 161

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he should get up and pray. This was reported as a Mawsool report by Imaam Muslim in his Saheeh. Muslim added a sixth thing, which is to turn over from the side on which one was lying. In conclusion, there are six things to do, the four mentioned above, plus praying two rak’ahs, for example, and turning over from the side on which one was lying to lie on one’s back, for example. See Fath al-Baari, 12/370. According to a hadeeth narrated from Abu Razeen by alTirmidhi, he should not tell anybody about it except a very close friend who loves him very much, or who is very wise. According to another report, he should not talk about it except to one who is wise or one who is dear to him. According to another report, he should not tell of his dream except to a scholar or one who will give sincere advice. Al-Qaadi Abu Bakr ibn al-‘Arabi said: as for the scholar, he will interpret it in a good way for him as much as he can, and the one who will give him sincere advice will teach him something that will be of benefit to him and will help him to do that. The one who is wise is the one who knows how to interpret it and will tell him only that which will help him, otherwise he will keep quiet. The one who is dear, if he knows something good he will say it, and if he does not know or he is in doubt, he will keep quiet. See Fath al-Baari, 12/369 Imaam al-Baghawi said: Know that the interpretation of dreams falls into various categories. Dreams may be interpreted in the light of the Qur’aan or in the light of the Sunnah, or by means of the proverbs that are current among people, or by names and 162

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metaphors, or in terms of opposites. (Sharh al-Sunnah, 12/220) He gave examples of this, such as: Interpretation in the light of the Qur’aan: such as a rope meaning a covenant, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And hold fast, all of you together, to the Rope of Allaah…” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:103] Interpretation in the light of the Sunnah: such as the crow representing an immoral man (faasiq), because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called it such. Interpretation by means of proverbs: such a digging a hole meaning a plot, because people say “Whoever digs a hole will fall in it.” Interpretation by means of names: such as seeing a man called Raashid meaning wisdom. Interpretation by means of opposites: such as fear meaning safety, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And He will surely give them in exchange a safe security after their fear” [al-Noor 24:55] As for the book “Interpretation of Dreams” that is attributed to Ibn Seereen, many researchers doubt that it can be attributed to him at all, so we should be certain that this book was written by this prominent scholar. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 163

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9771: He dreams about a dead relative chasing him Question: I had a relative who did not like me when I was alive. He hated me and used to beat me. He has passed away, but recently I have been having disturbing dreams, where I see him chasing me and my young daughter, but I run away from him and he cannot catch me. I hope you can suggest something to put my mind at rest. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. These dreams and other unpleasant dreams come from the Shaytaan. What is prescribed for the Muslim if he sees a dream that he does not like is to spit drily to his left three times, and to seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan and from the evil of what he has seen (three times), then to turn over onto his other side. Then the dream will not harm him. He should not tell anyone about it, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, according to a saheeh hadeeth, “Good dreams come from Allaah and bad dreams come from the Shaytaan. If anyone of you sees something that he dislikes in a dream, let him spit drily to his left three times, and seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan and from the evil of what he has seen three times, then let him turn over onto his other side. Then it will not harm him. He should not tell anyone of what he has seen. But if he sees (a dream) that he likes, let him praise Allaah and tell others whom he loves about it.” Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-‘Allaamah ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz, vol. 8, p. 359 (www.islam-qa.com) 164

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Chapter 4 Reading Quraan 34494: Playing a recording of Qur’aan when putting someone on hold Question: Sometimes we have to put a caller on hold and ask him to wait for a little while because we are speaking to another, more important, caller, and that may take a long time. Or we are putting a caller through to the person he wants to speak to, so he has to wait for some time until that person answers. During the waiting period the caller can listen to some suitable recorded material. We wanted to fill the waiting period with religious material, whether it is recording of the Qur’aan or of hadeeth. What is the ruling on doing that? Please note that the conversations may be serious or lighthearted, depending on who is calling. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. This is not something that is prescribed or allowed in sharee’ah, and it may be a cause of the Qur’aan being mistreated and not respected properly. The same applies to the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Standing Committee was asked a similar question and replied: The Qur’aan is the word of Allaah, so it must be respected and protected against anything inappropriate such as 165

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mixing it with jokes before or after it or using it as a kind of entertainment or to fill spare time as in the case you described. Rather it should be recited primarily as an act of worship and in order to draw closer to Allaah, pondering its meanings and seeking to learn lessons from it, not just to relax and fill spare time. The same applies to the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him); it is not permissible to mix it with jokes and laughter, rather it must be protected from anything inappropriate and when one reads it, that should be with the intention of learning the rulings of sharee’ah and acting upon them. Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 4/57-58. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 20620: Reciting Qur’aan in the bathroom Question: Is it permissible to recite the holy quran while in the toilet?( without taking the book itself in). Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The Qur’aan is the best book that mankind has ever known, because it is the Word of the Lord of the Universe, which was brought down by the trustworthy Spirit [i.e., Jibreel] to the heart of the noble Messenger, to bring mankind forth from darkness into light, and guide them to the straight path. It is the Book whose miracle abides, the proof of which is constantly renewed; Falsehood 166

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cannot come to it from before it or behind it, (it is) sent down by the All Wise, Worthy of all praise (Allaah) [cf. Fussilat 41:42] There are kinds of etiquette that have to do with this Book, to which attention should be paid when reciting it. One of these rules is that the place where it is recited should be clean. In his valuable book al-Tibyaan, Imam alNawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) mentioned some of the etiquette which the Muslim should pay attention to when reciting the Book of Allaah. He mentioned the issue of reciting Qur’aan in bathrooms and toilets, and he quoted the views of scholars on this matter. He said: “It is mustahabb to recite Qur’aan in a place that is clean and suitable. Hence a number of scholars regarded it as mustahabb to read Qur’aan in the mosque because it is both clean and a honourable environment… With regard to reciting Qur’aan in the bathroom, the salaf differed as to whether it is makrooh. Our companions – i.e., the Shaafa’is – said that it is not makrooh. This was quoted by Abu Bakr ibn al-Mundhir in al-Ishraaf from Ibraaheem al-Nakha’i and Maalik, and it is the view of ‘Ata’. Some regarded it as makrooh, such as ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (may Allaah be pleased with him). This was narrated from him by Ibn Abi Dawood. Ibn al-Mundhir narrated from a group of the Taabi’een – including Abu Waa’il Shaqeeq ibn Salamah, al-Shu’bi, al-Hasan al-Basri, Makhool, Qubaysah ibn Dhu’ayb, and from Abu Haneefah (may Allaah be pleased with them all) that al-Shu’bi said: it is makrooh to recite Qur’aan in three places: bathrooms, toilets …. It was narrated that Abu Maysarah said: Allaah should not be remembered except in good (clean) places.” 167

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Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: Is it permissible to remember Allaah (dhikr) in the bathroom? He replied: A person should not remember his Lord inside the bathroom, because this place is not appropriate for that. If he remembers Him in his heart there is nothing wrong with that, but he should not utter the words out loud. It is better not to speak the words out loud in this place, and to wait until he has come out of it. With regard to places for doing wudoo’ that are outside the toilets where one relieves oneself, there is nothing wrong with remembering Allaah there. Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 11/109. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 2564: Reading Qur’aan during menses Question: Is it permissible to read Quran while a women is having mensus (periods)? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. This is one of the issues on which the scholars, may Allaah have mercy on them, differed. The majority of fuqahaa’ say that it is haraam for a woman 168

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to recite Qur’aan during her period, until she is taahir (pure) again. The only exceptions they make is in the case of dhikr (remembrance of Allaah) and phrases that are not intended as tilaawah (recitation), such as saying “Bismillaahi’r-Rahmaani’r-Raheem” or “Innaa Lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji’oon”, or other phrases from the Qur’aan which are repeated as general du’aa’s. They base their evidence for forbidding menstruating women to recite Qur’aan on several things, including the following: Menstruation is seen as coming under the rulings that apply to one who is junub (in a state of impurity following sexual intercourse), because both states require ghusl. This is based on the hadeeth narrated by ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (may Allaah be pleased with him), according to which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach the Qur’aan and he never prevented anyone from learning it except those who were in a state of janaabah (impurity).” (Reported by Abu Dawood, 1/281; al-Tirmidhi, 146; al-Nisaa’i, 1/144; Ibn Maajah, 1/207; Ahmad, 1/84; Ibn Khuzaymah [??], 1/ 104. Al-Tirmidhi said: a saheeh hasan hadeeth. Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said: the truth is that it is the type of hasan hadeeth that could be used as evidence). The hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them both), according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The menstruating woman and the one who is in a state of impurity (janaabah) should not recite anything of the Qur’aan.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 131; Ibn Maajah, 595; al-Daaraqutni (1/117); al-Bayhaqi, 1/89. This is a da’eef hadeeth, because it was reported by Ismaa’eel ibn ‘Ayyaash from the Hijaazis, and his reports from them are da’eef as is well known to those who are conversant with the study of hadeeth. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said (21/460): it is a da’eef 169

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hadeeth by the unanimous agreement of the scholars of hadeeth. See Nasb al-Raayah, 1/195; al-Talkhees al-Habeer, 1/ 183). Some scholars say that it is permitted for a menstruating woman to recite Qur’aan. This is the opinion of Maalik, and one opinion narrated from Ahmad, which Ibn Taymiyah preferred and which al-Shawkaani believed to be correct. The scholars based the following points on this opinion: The principle is that things are allowed and permitted unless there is evidence to the contrary. There is no such evidence to say that a menstruating woman is not allowed to recite Qur’aan. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: “There is no clear, saheeh text to indicate that a menstruating woman is forbidden to recite Qur’aan… It is known that women used to menstruate at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he did not forbid them to recite Qur’aan, or to remember Allaah (dhikr) and offer du’aa’.” Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, commands (Muslims) to recite Qur’aan. He praises the one who does so, and promises him (or her) a great reward. No one is excluded from this except the one concerning whom there is solid evidence (daleel), and there is no such evidence in the case of menstruating women, as stated above. The analogy between the menstruating woman and the one who is in a state of janaabah is made despite the fact that there are differences between them. The one who is in a state of janaabah has the option of removing the “barrier” by making ghusl, unlike the menstruating woman. A woman’s period usually lasts for some length of time, whereas the person who is in a state of janaabah is required to do ghusl when the time for prayer comes. 170

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Preventing a menstruating woman from reciting Qur’aan deprives her of the chance to earn reward, and it may make her forget something of the Qur’aan, or she may need to recite it for the purposes of teaching or learning. From the above, it is clear that the evidence of those who allow a menstruating woman to recite Qur’aan is stronger. If a woman wants to err on the side of caution, she can limit her recitation to the passages which she is afraid of forgetting. It is very important to note that what we have been discussing here is restricted to what a menstruating woman recites from memory. When it comes to reading from the Mus-haf (the Arabic text itself), a different rule applies. The correct view of the scholars is that it is forbidden to touch the mus-haf when one is in any kind of state of impurity, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “… which none can touch except the purified.” [al-Waaqi’ah 56:79]. In a letter to ‘Amr ibn Hazm, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told the people of Yemen: “No one should touch the Qur’aan except one who is taahir (pure).” (Reported by Maalik, 1/ 199; al-Nisaa’i, 8/57; Ibn Hibbaan, 793; al-Bayhaqi, 1/ 87. Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said: A group of scholars classed this hadeeth as saheeh because it is so well known. AlShaafi’i said: It is proven by them that it was a letter sent by the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: “This letter is famous among the scholars of seerah, and is so well known among the scholars that it does not need an isnaad. It is like tawaatur because the people accepted and recognized it. Shaykh al-Albani said that its is saheeh. Al-Talkhees alHabeer, 4/17. See also: Nasb al-Raayah, 1/196; Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel, 1/158). (Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen, 1/159; al-Majmoo’, 1/356; Kashshaaf al-Qinaa’, 1/147; al-Mughni, 3/461; Nayl al171

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Awtaar, 1/226; Majmoo’ al-Fataawaa, 21/460; al-Sharh al-Mumti’ li’l-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 1/291) And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 26285: He was listening to the Qur’aan when the phone rang Question: If a person is listening to a tape of Qur’aan and the phone rings, should he speak to the caller when the tape is playing? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If a person is listening to the Qur’aan on a tape player or whatever, then he wants to speak or to stop listening, then he should turn it off and stop listening to the Qur’aan so that he will not be inattentive towards it. Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him). (www.islam-qa.com) 26327: Completing the Qur’aan in Ramadaan Question: May we understand from the fact that Jibreel (peace be 172

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upon him) reviewed the entire Qur’aan with the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in Ramadaan that it is preferable to complete the Qur’aan (during the month)? Answer: Praise be to Allaah, and blessings and peace be upon the Messenger of Allaah. What may be understood from that is that we should study the Qur’aan, and that studying the Qur’aan is useful and beneficial, because the Messenger SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) reviewed it with Jibreel in order to study it and benefit from it, for Jibreel was the one who brought it from Allaah and was the “ambassador” between Allaah and the Messengers, so undoubtedly Jibreel would be able to teach the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) how to recite the Qur’aan and understand the meanings of its verses. So if a person studies the Qur’aan with someone who can help him to understand it and recite it, this is what is required, just as the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) studied with Jibreel. This does not mean that Jibreel is better than the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), but Jibreel was the Messenger who came from Allaah and conveyed to the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that which Allaah commanded him to convey of the Qur’aan, its wordings and meanings. So the Messenger SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) benefited from Jibreel in these ways. But it does not mean that Jibreel is superior to him SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), rather he is the best of mankind and superior to the angels (upon whom be peace). But this teaching brought a great deal of good to the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and to the ummah, because it was the study of 173

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that which had been brought from Allaah, so that he might benefit from that which had been brought from Allaah. There is also another lesson to be learned, which is that studying it at night is better than during the day, because this reviewing took place at night, and it is known that at night the heart is more focused and can benefit more from studying than it can during the day. Another benefit is the fact that studying is prescribed and it is a righteous deed, even at times other than Ramadaan, because it brings benefit to both parties; if there are more than two people, that is fine, because each one can benefit from his brother and encourage him to read. For a person may not bother to read if he is sitting alone, but if he has someone else there to study with him, or other companions, that will be more effective in encouraging him to read. There is also the great benefit that all of them will find of discussing things that they did not understand, etc… all of that brings a great deal of good. It may also be understood from this that for the Imaam to recite the whole Qur’aan to the congregation in Ramadaan is a kind of this studying together, because in that way they may benefit from hearing the whole of the Qur’aan. Hence Imaam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) used to like the one who led them in (Taraaweeh) prayers to complete the whole Qur’aan (during the month). This is akin to the actions of the Salaf who loved to hear the whole Qur’aan. But this should not make us hasten in reading Qur’aan, rather we should feel humble and at ease when reading Qur’aan; paying attention to that is more important than thinking of completing the Qur’aan. From Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him). 15/324 (www.islam-qa.com) 174

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1377: Meaning of taghanni (‘reciting in a melodious voice’) in Qur’aan recitation Question: I have heard that there are ahaadeeth which indicate that it is allowed to recite the Qur’aan in a melodious voice (taghanni). How are we to understand these ahaadeeth? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Reciting in a melodious voice (taghanni) may mean: 1 – Making the voice beautiful when reciting, whilst reciting aloud in a tone that conveys the feelings of humility, softening of the heart and sadness, without making too much effort or exaggerating. Taghanni means reciting aloud, as it was narrated in Saheeh Muslim that Abu Hurayrah said: “The Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Allaah does not listen to anything (more approvingly) than He listens to a Prophet reciting the Qur’aan aloud in a melodious voice…” This indicates that we are commanded and encouraged to make our voices beautiful when reciting Qur’aan. This hadeeth clearly states the meaning of taghanni. The phrase “reciting aloud” explains it. Reciting aloud means raising one’s voice when reciting and making it beautiful, in a natural manner with no artifice, which one enjoys and finds pleasure in. Before the Qur’aan was revealed, the Arabs used to sing hudaa’ (songs of camel drivers) when riding camels, to make the journey pass more quickly when they were sitting in their saddles, and so on. 175

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But when the Qur’aan was revealed, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to make them focus on the Qur’aan and raise their voices and make them beautiful when reciting it. He wanted that to take the place of singing, whilst paying attention to the correctness of the recitation. So in place of the pleasure of singing, they were given the pleasure of reciting Qur’aan, just as everything forbidden was replaced with something that was better for them. So istikhaarah was prescribed in place of seeking decisions from azlaam (arrows for divination) and marriage in place of fornication, and so on. 2 – It may be that what is meant by taghanni is that which resembles singing and music, and impressing others with the tune, without understanding and without any humility, as mentioned in the hadeeth which describes the Signs of the Hour. 3 – It is unlikely that taghanni means being content with the Qur’aan alone and having no need of people, because the meaning is different and is linguistically unacceptable. This making the voice melodious in recitation should be done in a natural manner, not by means of teaching and training according to the rules of music. Ibn al-Qayyim mentioned that reciting Qur’aan with a tune and in a melodious voice, if it is done naturally with no exaggeration or special teaching or training, then it is permissible. If extra effort is added to the natural tone to make it more beautiful, such as when Abu Moosa alAsh’ari said to the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “If I had known (you were listening), I would have made it more beautiful for you,” then that is OK. But if the reciting in a melodious voice is done in an artificial manner, with special training and musical rhythms, this is something which the salaf 176

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despised, and which they criticized and condemned. It is known that the salaf used to recite the Qur’aan in a sad tone, making their voices beautiful and giving it a sad tone sometimes and a joyful tone sometimes. This is something natural. Defining the meaning of making the voice melodious (taghanni) (a) I say: there is no dispute concerning the validity of the fatwa of Imaam Maalik which is based on the hadeeth of the Signs of the Hour, with its various isnaads, and which states that it is not permitted to recite with a musical tune and following the rules of music in a manner that goes beyond the limits of recitation and correct pronunciation, and does not befit the dignity of the Qur’aan. (b) The ahaadeeth of Anas and Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with them both) refer to the recitation of the Khawaarij, who used to recite the Qur’aan throughout the night and day, but it did not go any deeper than their throats or collar bones, because they did not have knowledge of the Sunnah which clarifies matters, so they were deprived of proper understanding and the reward for recitation. In the ahaadeeth it says that they would exit from the religion like an arrow passing through its target. The ahaadeeth contain the command to kill them and says that they are the most evil of creation, even though you would think that your prayer and your recitation are as nothing when compared with their prayer and recitation. This is the description of the Khawaarij and those who are like them. Ibn Taymiyah said: the hadeeth about the Khawaarij is saheeh in ten different isnaads, which were narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh, and some of which were narrated by al-Bukhaari. The Khawaarij used to denounce the Muslims as kaafirs merely for committing sins, but they were the followers of bid’ah (innovations) and misinterpretations who had 177

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split away from the mainstream of the ummah. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound in our religious commitment and their worldly affairs. This is a description which applies only to the Khawaarij and those who are like them. The reciters nowadays are not like this as far as we know. (c) The fatwa of Imaam Ahmad has to do with distorting the letters and exaggerating elongated vowels, which results from altering the letters and elongating them too much, which takes the recitation beyond what is correct. This fatwa states that it is emphatically disliked, as alQaadi Abu Ya’laa said. This refers to someone who goes to extremes and whose recitation is not correct, because he adds letters, such as adding waw and alif to the word Muhammad, making it Moohaamad. This is haraam, according to consensus. At the time of Imaam Ahmad, the people used to sing poetry and elongate the letters however they wished. Ishaaq al-Mawsili criticized Ibraaheem ibn al-Mahdi for doing that, because he distorted the words from the way they should be in Arabic. And denouncing that in the case of reciting Qur’aan in a melodious voice is more essential, and this problem does not exist nowadays, praise be to Allaah. (d) Ibn Taymiyah said: the kind of tune which the scholars regard as makrooh for reciting Qur’aan in is that which involves shortening long letters, lengthening short letters, giving a vowel to a silent letter, or making a vowelled letter silent, in order to make it fit the rules of music. If that also involves changing the way the Qur’aan should be recited and elongating the vowels, then this is haraam. Reconciling between the evidence which says it is forbidden and the evidence which says it is allowed There is no contradiction between the evidence which 178

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says it is forbidden and the evidence which says it is allowed if the prohibition applies to that which goes beyond the limits of correct recitation, whether by adding or taking away, or by neglecting an obligatory rule, or by going against the well-established rules of recitation. The prohibition also applies to that which is recited according to the rules of music, even if it is without the accompaniment of instruments, to make the voice tremble or quaver, or exaggerating in going along with a particular musical key which is in the reciter’s mind whilst he is reciting. The permission applies only to that which is in accordance with the rules of sound recitation whilst making the voice beautiful. If what is meant by giving a tune is adding or taking away anything, or going against the well-established rules of recitation, this is haraam. If I mean making the voice melodious in recitation (taghanni), in order to make the listener feel happy or sad, or to soften his heart or to make the recitation attractive whilst also pondering the meanings and reflecting humility, then it is mustahabb, so long as it does not distort the meaning or change the pronunciation, or follow the rules of music. Al-Suyooti said: Reciting Qur’aan with a tune and with beautiful, quavering voices, so long as it does not deviate from the correct way of reciting, is a good way (Sunnah hasanah); if it does deviate from the correct way of reciting, then it is haraam and is an evil deed. And he said in Sharh al-Risaalah: From the comments of the imams it may be understood that making the voice beautiful whilst paying attention to the rules of music and also following the rules of recitation is an area that is subject to scholarly dispute. 179

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Some of the scholars said that this is different from the way of the salaf, because the reader may neglect to recite properly, so they said that this was not permitted, in order to prevent the means that may lead to something haraam. But making the voice beautiful whilst reciting Qur’aan, without paying attention to the rules of music is what is required, and there is no dispute concerning this. Ibn Qudaamah said: the scholars are agreed that it is mustahabb to read Qur’aan with a sad tone, with a measured pace and with a beautiful voice. I say: this is taken from the hadeeth of Buraydah, “Recite the Qur’aan in a sad tone for it was revealed with sadness.” And the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Abbaas: “The best of people in reciting Qur’aan is the one who recites it in a sad tone.” But these hadeeths are both da’eef (weak) and the first one is da’eef jiddan (very weak). al-Da’wah magazine, issue #1798 , p.44 (www.islamqa.com) 10119: Saying “Sadaqa Allaah al-‘Azeem” Question: I often hear that saying “Sadaqa Allaah al-‘Azeem (Allaah Almighty has spoken the truth)” after reading Qur’aan is bid’ah. Some people told me that it is permissible and they quoted as evidence the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “Say (O Muhammad): “Allaah has spoken the truth; follow the religion of Ibraaheem (Abraham) Haneefa (Islamic Monotheism, i.e. he used to worship Allaah Alone)” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:95] 180

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Some educated people told me that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to stop someone who was reading Qur’aan he said, “Enough” and he did not say “Sadaqa Allaahu al‘Azeem.” My question is: is it permissible to say “Sadaqa Allaahu al-‘Azeem” when one stops reading Qur’aan? Could you please explain this to me? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. I do not know of any basis for the people’s habit of saying “Sadaqa Allaahu al-‘Azeem” when they finish reading Qur’aan, so it should not be taken as a habit. Indeed, according to the principles of sharee’ah it is more like bid’ah, if anyone believes that it is Sunnah. So this should not be done and should not be taken as a habit. With regard to the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “Say (O Muhammad): ‘Allaah has spoken the truth…’” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:95] – This is not speaking about this matter. Rather Allaah was commanding him to explain to the people that Allaah had spoken the truth in what He had said in His Books, the Tawraat, etc., and that He had spoken the Truth in all that He had said to His slaves in the Tawraat, the Injeel and all other revealed Books. And He was speaking the truth in all that He said to His slaves in His Book the Qur’aan. But this is not evidence that it is mustahabb to say “Sadaqa Allaah al-‘Azeem” after reading the Qur’aan or after reading some aayahs or a soorah. This was not reported or known from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or his 181

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companions (may Allaah be pleased with them). When Ibn Mas’ood recited to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) from the beginning of Soorat alNisaa’ until he reached the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “How (will it be) then, when We bring from each nation a witness and We bring you (O Muhammad) as a witness against these people?”[al-Nisaa’ 4:41] – the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him, “Enough.” Ibn Mas’ood said: “I turned to him and saw that his eyes were filled with tears”, i.e., he was weeping because of the mention of this great status on the Day of Resurrection which is mentioned in this aayah, where Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “How (will it be) then, when We bring from each nation a witness and We bring you” – O Muhammad – “as a witness against these people?” – i.e., against his ummah. The point is that there is no basis in sharee’ah for adding these words – “sadaqa Allaah al-‘Azeem” – when finishing reading Qur’aan. What is prescribed is not to do this, in accordance with the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions (may Allaah be pleased with them). But if a person does that sometimes, without intending to, it doesn’t matter, for Allaah speaks the truth in all matters, may He be glorified and exalted. But making that a habit every time one reads Qur’aan, as many people do nowadays, has no basis, as stated above. Kitaab Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-‘Allaamah ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 9, p. 342 . (www.islam-qa.com) 182

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9330: Ruling on reciting the Qur’aan in the manner of singers Question: What do you say about a person who recites Qur’aan with rhythms like those of songs or which are taken from songs? Please advise us, may Allaah reward you with good. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for the believer to recite Qur’aan with melodies like those of songs or in the manner of singers. He has to recite it as it was recited by our righteous predecessors, the companions of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and those who followed them in truth. So it should be recited with the proper intonation (tarteel), in a solemn and humble manner, so that it may have an effect on the hearts of those who hear it and on the heart of the reciter himself. Reading it in the manner or way of singers is not permitted. Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-‘Allaamah ‘Abd al-‘Azzez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 9, p. 290 (www.islam-qa.com) 7966: How to memorize the Holy Qur’aan Question: Assalaamu ‘Alaykum, please could you give me some advice on memorsing the Quran such as techniques 183

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Important rules for memorizing the Holy Qur’aan. Sincerity. It is essential to have a pure and sincere intention and a proper aim. One should learn the Qur’aan and pay attention to it for the sake of Allaah and attaining Paradise and earning the pleasure of Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “So worship Allaah (Alone) by doing religious deeds sincerely for Allaah’s sake only. Surely, the religion (i.e. the worship and the obedience) is for Allaah only” [al-Zumar 39:2-3]. According to a hadeeth qudsi, Allaah says: “I am so selfsufficient that I am in no need of having an associate. Thus he who does an action for the sake of someone else as well as for My sake will have that action rejected by Me to the one whom he associated with Me.” So there will be no reward for the one who reads and memorizes Qur’aan for the sake of showing off or gaining a good reputation. Correct pronunciation and reading. This can only be learned by listening to someone who reads well or has memorized properly. The Qur’aan can only be learned from a teacher. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) learnt it orally from Jibreel, and the Sahaabah learned it orally from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Then it was passed down orally from the Sahaabah to succeeding generations of this Ummah. Deciding the amount to be memorized each time. The one who wants to learn the Qur’aam should decide how much he wants to memorize each time. After he has set out his objective and learned the correct pronunciation, he has to keep on repeating it over and over. This repetition should be with the proper intonation so as to avoid getting 184

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bored and so that he can memorize it properly. The intonation makes a person enjoy listening to it, helps him to memorize it and makes the tongue get used to that intonation, so that he will spot mistakes immediately, as the rhythm will be interrupted. This is in addition to the fact that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “He is not one of us who does not recite the Qur’aan with a rhythmic intonation.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari). Not going beyond what one has decided to learn in one day until one has memorized it perfectly. The haafiz should never move on to a new portion until he has perfectly memorized the prvious portion , so that it will stick in his mind. One thing that will help the student to memorize it is to preoccupy himself with it night and day, by reciting it in the prayers where Qur’aan is to be recited silently, and if he is leading others in prayer, by reciting it out loud. He can also recite it during his naafil prayers, and whilst waiting for (congregational) prayers. In this way it will become easy for him to memorize Qur’aan. Everyone can do this, even if he is busy with other things. Adhering to one style of writing in the Mus-haf you use for memorizing. One thing that will help in memorizing Qur’aan is to have one’s own copy of the Mus-haf (i.e., choosing a specific edition) and never changing it. This is because people learn as much by looking as by listening, so the pattern of the verses and where they appear on the pages of the Mus-haf stays in the mind as one reads and looks at the Mus-haf. So if a person changes the Mus-haf from which he is learning, or he learns from various Masaahif where the relative positions of the aayaat may vary, he will get confused and it will be difficult for him to memorize. Understanding is the key to memorization. One of the things which is of the greatest help in memorizing is 185

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understanding the verses one is learning and knowing how they are connected to one another. This means that the haafiz has to read the tafseer of some of the aayahs and soorahs which he is memorizing and he has to focus his mind when he is reading. This will help him to remember the verses. But when he is committing the verses to memory, he should rely on understanding; what he has to do is rely on repetition so that it will be easy for him to memorize them. Not moving on until one has learned a soorah well. After having memorized one soorah, the haafiz should not move on to another soorah until he has memorized the first soorah perfectly from beginning to end and he can recite it fluently without having to think too hard about it. Remembering it should be easy, and he should not move on to another soorah until he is sure that he has memorized the first one. Continually reciting to someone else. The haafiz should not rely upon training by himself; he has to recite what he has memorized to another haafiz, or to someone else who can follow his recitation in the Mus-haf. This other person should be someone who knows how to recite Qur’aan properly, so that he can point out any mistakes or omissions in pronunciation or reading. It often happens that an individual may memorize a soorah incorrectly by himself, and he does not realize this even when he looks at the Mus-haf. So the person who wants to memorize a soorah looks in the Mus-haf and does not see where he is making a mistake in his recitation. So reciting to another person is an excellent means of correcting one’s mistakes. Continually following up. When it comes to memorization, the Qur’aan is different from any other material such as poetry or prose, in that it may be quickly forgotten. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, 186

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it tries harder to run away than a hobbled camel” (Agreed upon). One only has to leave it for a little while and it escapes one’s mind and is quickly forgotten. So one has to keep reviewing it and always work hard at retaining what one has memorized of the Qur’aan. Concerning this, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who has memorized Qur’aan is like the owner of a hobbled camel. If he pays attention to it and takes care of it, he will keep it, but if he lets it go, he will lose it” (Agreed upon). This means that the one who has memorized the Qur’aan has to recite it regularly as part of his wird [regular dhikr]. At least he should recite one of the thirty juz’ and at most he should recite ten juz’ each day, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever reads the whole Qur’aan in less than three days does not understand it” (Agreed upon). By continually reciting it in this fashion he will retain what he has memorized. Paying attention to the parts of the Qur’aan which resemble one another. The parts of the Qur’aan resemble one another in their meanings and wording. Allaah says: (interpretation of the meaning): “Allaah has sent down the Best Statement, a Book (this Qur’aan), its parts resembling each other (in goodness and truth) (and) oftrepeated. The skins of those who fear their Lord shiver from it (when they recite it or hear it). Then their skin and their heart soften to the remembrance of Allaah” [alZumar 39:23]. So the good reader of Qur’aan has to pay particular attention to those parts which resemble one another, i.e., the parts where the wording is similar, as this will help him to memorize it properly. Making the most of the best years. The one who is truly blessed is the one whom Allaah enables to make the most of the best years for memorizing, which come approximately between the ages of five and twenty-three. During these years, a person is able to memorize things 187

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very well. Before the age of five, he is not able to do that, and after the age of twenty-three his ability to memorize declines whilst his ability to understand increases. So young people of these ages should make the most of it and memorize the Book of Allaah, because they are at the age when they will be able to learn it quickly and will be slow to forget it, unlike when they get older. He spoke the truth who said, “Learning by heart when one is young is like engraving something on stone; learning something when one is old is like engraving something on water.” It is our duty towards the Book of Allaah that we should memorize it properly, accept and follow its guidance, and make it the constitution of our lives, the light of our hearts, the comfort of our souls. Hopefully these rules will form a good foundation for those who sincerely want to memorize the Book of Allaah properly. And Allaah knows best. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 1080: Appointing someone to supervise each halaqah in order to correct mistakes Question: On some trips there is a Qur’aan reading program, and they divide the people into separate circles (halaqahs) and someone who reads Qur’aan well to correct any mistakes. Is there anything wrong with this? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 188

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There is nothing wrong with that. Reading Qur’aan is something that should be done regularly, and if there are readers who get together to read the Qur’aan but they have some weaknesses or make mistakes, and they appoint someone to correct their mistakes who can commit himself to attending regularly and is qualified to do that, then this is a good action, because he can teach them to read Qur’aan without making mistakes, and this is something which will benefit all of them. From al-Lu’lu’ al-Makeen min Fataawaa Ibn Jibreen, p. 34 (www.islamqa.com) 4041: Ruling on gathering to recite the Du’aa’ for completing the Qur’aan Question: What is the ruling on gathering to recite the du’aa’ for completing the Holy Qur’aan, i.e., when a person has finished reading the Qur’aan he calls the rest of his family or other people to offer the du’aa’ together for completing the Qur’aan that is attributed to Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him), so that they will all get the reward for completing the Qur’aan, or other du’aa’s written at the end of the Mus-haf and called “Du’aa’ Khatam al-Qur’aan al-‘Azeem (supplication for finishing the Holy Qur’aan)”? Is it permissible to gather to recite the du’aa’ for completing the Holy Qur’aan, whether at the end of Ramadaan or on other occasions? Is this gathering counted as bid’ah or not? Has any du’aa’ specifically for finishing the Holy Qur’aan been narrated from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 189

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As far as we know, there no evidence that has been narrated for any specific du’aa’, so it is permissible for a person to pray for whatever he wants and to choose any good du’aa’, such as asking for forgiveness of sins or to be granted Paradise and be saved from Hell, or to seek refuge from tribulation, or to be granted help to understand the Qur’aan in the way that pleases Allaah and to act in accordance with it, and so on. It was reported that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) used to gather his family when he finished reading the Qur’aan, and would offer du’aa’. With regard to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), nothing to this effect was narrated from him as far as I know. As for the du’aa’ attributed to Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him), I do not know whether this attribution is correct, but I have never come across anything of the sort in his books. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com)

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Chapter 5 Etiquette of Hospitality 34851: Ruling on students standing up for the teacher Question: It is customary when the teacher enters the classroom for the students to stand up as a sign of respect, and the teachers tell them to do that. Some teachers punish a student who does not stand up for them, and that is regarded as a kind of bad manners. What is the ruling on that?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. We have already discussed the ruling on standing up for one who comes in, in question no. 34497. This ruling includes students standing up for the teacher. Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: I have heard that many teachers tell the students to stand up for them when they enter the classroom. Undoubtedly this goes against the saheeh Sunnah. It was proven that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever likes the people to stand up for him, let him take his place in Hell.” Narrated by Imam Ahmad, Abu Dawood and alTirmidhi from Mu’aawiyah (may Allaah be pleased with him) with a saheeh isnaad. Imam Ahmad and al-Tirmidhi 191

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also narrated with a saheeh isnaad from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him): “No person was dearer to them than the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), but when they saw him they did not stand up for him because they knew that he disliked that.” So the Sunnah is not to stand up for teachers when they enter classrooms, in accordance with these two hadeeth and other similar reports. It is not permissible for the teacher to tell them to stand up for him, because of the warning mentioned concerning that in the hadeeth of Mu’aawiyah, and it is makrooh for the students to stand up, because of the hadeeth of Anas quoted above. It is well known that all goodness is to be found in following the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and following his example and that of his companions (may Allaah be pleased with them). May Allaah make us and you among those who follow him in truth and help us to understand His religion and adhere steadfastly to it. Majallat alBuhooth al-Islamiyyah, 26/347. Islam Q&A (www.islamqa.com) 34497: Ruling on standing up for who comes in, and kissing him Question: What is the ruling on standing up for who comes in, and kissing him?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: With regard to standing up for who comes in, Shaykh al192

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Islam Ibn Taymiyah gave a detailed answer to this question, based on shar’i evidence, which we think should be quoted because it serves the purpose. He said: It was not the custom of the salaf at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the Rightly-Guided Caliphs to stand up every time they saw him [the Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), as many people do. Rather Anas ibn Maalik said: “No person was dearer to them than the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), but when they saw him they did not stand up for him because they knew that he disliked that.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2754; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. But they may have stood up for one who was returning from away, in order to greet him, as it was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up for ‘Ikrimah, and he said to the Ansaar when Sa’d ibn Mu’aadh came: “Stand up for your chief.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3043; Muslim, 1768. That was when he [Sa’d] came to pass judgement on Banu Qurayzah, because they said that would accept his verdict. What people should do is get accustomed to following the salaf in their customs at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), for they are the best of generations and the best of speech is the Word of Allaah, and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). No one should turn away from the guidance of the best of mankind and the guidance of the best of generations and follow something that is inferior to it. And the chief or leader should not approve of that among his companions, so that when they see him they should not stand up for him, rather they should simply greet him in the usual manner. With regard to standing up for one who has come from a 193

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journey and the like, to greet him, that is fine. If it is the custom of the people to honour one who comes by standing up for him, and if that may make him feel insulted if they do not do it, and he does not know the custom that is in accordance with the Sunnah, then it is better to stand up for him, because that will create a good relationship between them and will remove rancour and hatred. But if a person is familiar with the custom of some people that is in accordance with the Sunnah, not doing that will not offend him. Standing up for a newcomer is not the standing mentioned in the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Whoever likes the people to stand up for him, let him take his place in Hell.” Narrated by alTirmidhi, 2755; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. That refers to when they stand up for him when he is seated; it does not refer to when they stand up to welcome him when he comes. Hence the scholars differentiated between the two types of standing, because those who stand up to greet a newcomer are equal with him, unlike those who stand for one who remains seated. It was proven in Saheeh Muslim that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) led them in prayer sitting down, because he was ill, and they prayed standing, he told them to sit down and said: “Do not venerate me as the Persians venerate one another.” And he forbade them to stand in prayer whilst he was sitting, lest they resemble the Persians who used to stand for their leaders whilst the leaders were seated. In conclusion, the best is to follow the customs and attitude and views of the salaf as much as possible. If a person does not believe in that and is not familiar with this custom, and if not dealing with him in the manner in which people are accustomed to showing respect will lead to a greater evil, then we should ward off the greater 194

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of two evils by doing the lesser of them, and do that which serves a greater interest at the expense that which serves the lesser interest. End quote from Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah. What will make this clearer is the report narrated in alSaheehayn concerning the story of Ka’b ibn Maalik, when Allaah accepted his repentance and that of his two companions (may Allaah be pleased with them all), in which it says that when Ka’b entered the mosque, Talhah ibn ‘Ubayd-Allaah stood up, ran to him and greeted him, and congratulated him on Allaah’s forgiveness, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not denounce that. This indicates that it is permissible to stand up for someone who comes in, and to shake his hand and greet him. Similar to this is the report that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) entered upon his daughter Faatimah, she would stand up for him and take his hand, and make him sit in her place. And when she entered upon him, he would take her hand and make her sit in his place. Classed as saheeh by alTirmidhi. Secondly: With regard to kissing, there is evidence narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) which indicates that this is allowed in sharee’ah. It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: Zayd ibn Haarithah came to Madeenah and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was in my house. He came to him and knocked at the door, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up (to open the door) for him wearing nothing but an izaar (waist wrapper) dragging his garment, and by Allaah I never saw him wearing nothing but an izaar before or after that. And he 195

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embraced him and kissed him. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, who said: a hasan hadeeth. This hadeeth indicates that it is allowed to do that with one who comes. But this hadeeth was classed as da’eef by al-Albaani in Da’eef al-Tirmidhi, 2732. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) kissed al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali. Al-Aqra’ ibn Haabis said: “I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He will not be shown mercy who does not show mercy (to others).” Agreed upon. This hadeeth indicates that kissing is prescribed if it is done out of mercy and compassion. With regard to kissing when meeting someone in a the regular manner, there is evidence that indicates that this is not prescribed, and that it is sufficient to shake hands. It was narrated that Qataadah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I said to Anas, “Did the companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) shake hands?” He said, “Yes.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari. And it was narrated from Anas that when the people of Yemen came, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The people of Yemen have come, and they are the first who came shaking hands.” Narrated by Abu Dawood with a saheeh isnaad. It was narrated that al-Bara’ (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are no two Muslims who meet and shake hands, but they will be forgiven before they part.” Narrated by Abu Dawood and Ahmad; narrated and classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi; also classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 5212. 196

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It was narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man said, “O Messenger of Allaah, when a man among us meets his brother and friend, should he bow to him?” He said, “No.” He said, “Should he embrace him and kiss him?” He said, “No.” He said, “Should he take his hand and shake hands?” He said, “Yes.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, who said: a hasan hadeeth; but he also said that its isnaad is da’eef, because it includes Hanzalah al-Sadoosi, who is da’eef according to the scholars. But perhaps al-Tirmidhi classed it as hasan because there are other ahaadeeth which support it. It was also classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2728. Ahmad, al-Nasaa’i, al-Tirmidhi and others narrated with their saheeh isnaads, and al-Tirmidhi classed it as saheeh, from Safwaan ibn ‘Assaal that two Jews asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about the nine clear signs (given to Moosa), and when he answered their question, they kissed his hands and feet and said, “We bear witness that you are a Prophet.” Al-Tabaraani narrated with a jayyid isnaad from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he said: When the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) met, they would shake hands, and when they came from a journey they would embrace one another.” This was mentioned by Ibn Muflih in al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah. And Allaah is the Source of strength. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions. Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 1/144-147. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 197

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13776: Ruling on standing up to welcome a newcomer Question: A man came in when I was in a gathering, and the people present stood up for him, but I did not stand up. Do I have to stand up? Is there any sin on those who did stand up? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. You do not have to stand up for someone who comes in, but it is good manners, if someone stands up for you, to shake his hand, especially the head of the household and prominent people. This is the matter of good manners. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up for Faatimah, and she stood up for him, may Allaah be pleased with her. The Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) stood up, on the Prophet’s command, for Sa’d ibn Mu’aadh when he came to pass judgement on Bani Qurayzah. Talhah ibn ‘Ubayd Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) stood up in front of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when Ka’b ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) came after Allaah had accepted his repentance; he shook his hand and congratulated him, then sat down. This is the matter of good manners and this is broad issue. What is denouncable is when people stand up and remain standing by way of veneration. But if a person stands up to welcome his guest and honour him, or to shake hands with him or greet him, this is something which is prescribed in Islam. But to remain standing when people are sitting by way of veneration, or standing at the door without greeting anyone or shaking hands with anyone, this should not be 198

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done. Even worse than that is standing up to venerate a person when he is sitting down, not for the sake of guarding him but only for the purpose of veneration. There are three kinds of standing up, as the scholars said : (1) When people stand up for someone to venerate him when he is sitting down, as the Persians venerated their kings and leaders, as described by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). This is not permitted, and for this reason the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told them to sit down when he led them in prayer sitting down. He told them to sit down and to pray behind him seated, and when they stood up he said, “You almost venerated me like the Persians venerate their leaders.” (2) When a person stands up when another person comes in or goes out, without greeting him or shaking hands with him, rather simply in order to venerate him. This at the very least is makrooh. The Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) used not to stand up for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he came in to them, because they knew that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) disliked that. (3) When a person stands up for someone who has come in, in order to shake his hand or to take his hand and lead him to a seat, etc. There is nothing wrong with that, rather it is the Sunnah as mentioned above. Kitaab Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-‘Allaamah ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 4, p. 394 (www.islam-qa.com) 199

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14578: When a person enters upon other people, does he greet the oldest first or the youngest? Question: When I enter upon people and I want to greet them, do I start with the oldest or the youngest? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. This is an issue which some people do not understand. When you meet someone or you enter upon someone and you want to greet them (by shaking hands) or by offering tea or coffee, then you should start with the oldest, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had a miswaak (tooth-stick) in his hand and there were two men in front of him. The younger man wanted to take it, but he said to him, “The older, the older.” This is different to when there is a young man on one’s right and an old man on one’s left, and one is sitting between them. In that case one should start on the right, even though that man is younger. On this basis, when a person enters a gathering, he should start with the oldest, but if he wants to give something, then he should start with whoever is on his right, not on the right of the oldest. See al-Liqaa’ al-Shahri, 13. (www.islam-qa.com)

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Chapter 6 Adaab al-Safar (Etiquette of Travel) 34464: Visiting the Prophet’s Mosque Question: If the pilgrim performing Hajj or ‘Umrah wants to visit the Prophet’s Mosque, should he form the intention of visiting the mosque or of visiting the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? And what is the etiquette of visiting the Prophet’s Mosque?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “If the pilgrim wants to visit the Prophet’s Mosque before or after Hajj, he should have the intention of visiting the mosque, not the grave, because travelling to a place for the purpose of worship does not include visiting graves, rather it includes only the three mosques: al-Masjid alHaraam (the Sacred Mosque in Makkah), al-Masjid alNabawi (the Prophet’s Mosque in Madeenah) and alMasjid al-Aqsa (in Jerusalem), as it says in the hadeeth which was narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said: “No journey should be undertaken to any mosque except three: al-Masjid alHaraam, this mosque of mine and al-Masjid al-Aqsa.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1189: Muslim, 1397. When he reaches the Prophet’s Mosque, he should enter 201

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with his right foot first and say, “Bismillaah wa’l-salaatu wa’l-salaam ‘ala Rasoolillaah. Allaahumma ighfir li dhunoobi waftah li abwaab rahmatika. A’oodhu Billaah il-‘azeem wa bi wajhihi’l-kareem wa bi sultaanihi’lqadeem min al-shaytaan il-rajeem (In the name of Allaah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allaah. O Allaah, forgive my sins and open to me the gates of Your mercy. I seek refuge in Allaah the Almighty and in His noble Face and in His eternal Power, from the accursed Shaytaan).” Then he should pray as he likes. It is better for him to pray in al-Rawdah which is the area between the minbar of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the room in which is his grave, because this area is one of the gardens (riyaadh, sing. rawdah) of Paradise. When he has prayed and wants to visit the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), he should stand in front of it in a dignified manner and say, “Assalaamu ‘alayka ayyuha’lNabiyyu wa rahmat-Allaahi wa barakaatuhu. Allaahumma salli ‘ala Muhammad wa ‘ala aali Muhammad kama salayta ‘ala Ibraaheem wa ‘ala aali Ibraaheem, innaka hameedun majeed; Allaahumma baarik ‘ala Muhammad wa ‘ala aali Muhammad kama baarakta ‘ala Ibraaheem wa ‘ala aali Ibraaheem, innaka hameedun majeed. Ashhadu annaka Rasool-Allaah haqqan wa annaka qad balaghta al-risaalah wa adayta al-amaanah wa nasahta alummah wa jaahadta fillaahi haqqa jihaadihi. Fa jazaka Allaahu ‘an ummatika afdal ma jaza nabiyyan ‘an ummatihi (Peace be upon you, O Prophet, and the mercy of Allaah, and His blessings. O Allaah, send prayers upon Muhammad and upon the family of Muhammad, as You sent prayers upon Ibraaheem and the family of Ibraaheem, verily You are Worthy of Praise, Full of Glory. O Allaah, send blessings upon Muhammad and upon the family of Muhammad, as You sent blessings upon Ibraaheem and the family of Ibraaheem, verily You are Worthy of Praise, 202

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Full of Glory. I bear witness that you are indeed the Messenger of Allaah, that you conveyed the message and fulfilled the trust, and advised the ummah and strove truly for the sake of Allaah. May Allaah reward you on behalf of your ummah better than any Prophet is rewarded on behalf of his nation).” Then he should move a little to his right and send salaams upon Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq and pray that Allaah be pleased with him. Then he should move a little further to his right and send salaams upon ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab and pray that Allaah be pleased with him. If he makes du’aa’ for Abu Bakr and ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them) in an appropriate manner, that is good. It is not permissible for anyone to seek to draw closer to Allaah by touching the hujrah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or by circumambulating it, or by facing it whilst making du’aa’. Rather he should turn to face the qiblah, because drawing closer to Allaah can only be done by means of that which Allaah and His Messenger have prescribed. Acts of worship are based on following not on innovation. Women should not visit the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or any other grave, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed women who visit graves. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 843. Rather a woman should pray and send blessings upon the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in the place where she is, and that will reach the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) no matter where she is. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Send blessings upon me, for your blessings will reach me no matter where you 203

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are.” And he said, “Allaah has angels who travel about throughout the land, conveying to me the salaams of my ummah.” Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, 1282; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i, 1215. Only men should visit al-Baqee’, which is the graveyard of Madeenah. They should say: “Al-salaamu ‘alaykum ahl al-diyaar min al-mu’mineen wa’l-muslimeen, wa innaa in sha Allaah bikum laahiqoon. Yarham Allaah almustaqdimeena mina wa minkum wa’l-musta’khireen. Nas’al Allaah lana wa lakum al-‘aafiyah. Allaahumma la tahrimna ajrahum wa la taftinna ba’dahum waghfir lana wa lahum (Peace be upon you, O dwellers of these abodes, believers and Muslims. We will, when Allaah wills, join you. May Allaah have mercy on those who were first (to die) and those who were last. We ask Allaah to grant salvation to us and you. O Allaah, deprive us not of reward (similar to theirs) and lead us not astray after they are gone; forgive us and them).” If he then wants to go to Mount Uhud and remember what happened there to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions in that battle of jihad, trials and martyrdom, and send salaams upon the shuhada’ (martyrs) there, such as Hamzah ibn ‘Abd alMuttalib, the paternal uncle of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), there is nothing wrong with that, because that is a kind of travelling through the land as enjoined (in Islam) [cf. al-Nahl 16:36]. And Allaah knows best. From al-Manhaj li Mureed al-‘Umrah wa’l-Hajj (www.islam-qa.com)

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Chapter 7 Etiquette of Marriage 12529: Is it permissible to engage in coitus interruptus or to use a condom? Question: On the first night after getting married, can one use contraception ( e.g condom ) or should this not be allowed. This is because it may be possible (by the will of Allah) for my future wife to get pregnant, but we may not choose to have children so early in our marriage.Please advise. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is permissible to engage in coitus interruptus if a person does not want a child, and it is also permissible to use a condom, but that is subject to the condition that the wife gives her permission for that, because she has the right to full enjoyment and also to have a child. The evidence for that is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: We used to engage in coitus interruptus at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). News of that reached the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he did not forbid us to do that. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 250; Muslim, 160 Although that is permitted, it is nevertheless makrooh and intensely disliked. Muslim (1442) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about coitus interruptus and he said: “That is the 205

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secret burying alive of infants.” This indicates that it is strongly disliked. Al-Nawawi said: Coitus interruptus means intercourse in which, when ejaculation approaches, the man withdraws and ejaculates outside the vagina. It is makrooh in our view in all circumstances and with all women, whether the woman consents to that or not, because it is a means of preventing offspring. Hence in the hadeeth it is called “the secret burying alive of children,” because it cuts off the means of producing offspring, like killing a newborn by burying him or her alive. With regard to it being haraam, our companions said that it was not forbidden… These ahaadeeth and others, when taken in conjunction, may be understood as meaning that it is makrooh, but not strongly so, and the reports in which permission is given for that may be understood as meaning that it is not haraam; they do not mean that it is not makrooh. It is better for the Muslim not to do that, unless there is a need for it, such as if the woman is sick and cannot cope with a pregnancy or it would be too difficult for her or would cause her harm. Also, coitus interruptus cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to have a lot of children, and it also means that the woman’s pleasure is incomplete. See also question no. 3767 . Islam Q&A (www.islamqa.com) 5560: Etiquette of intimate relations Question: islam teaches us everthing..as to how to eat , dress, etc...is 206

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there also a Sunnah way of sleeping with one’s wife.is any position Sunnah ..or is there nothing in Saheeh Hadith with regard to this? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Yes, you are right: Islam teaches us all things and has brought all good teaching to mankind concerning their livelihood, religion, living and dying, because it is the religion of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted. Sexual relations are among the important matters of life which Islam came to explain and to prescribe proper conduct and rulings which elevate it from the level of mere bestial pleasure and physical desire. Islam connects it to a righteous intention, supplications (adhkaar) and proper conduct which lift it up to the level of worship for which the Muslim will be rewarded. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explains this. Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) says in his book Zaad al-Ma’aad: “Concerning sexual relations, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) brought the most perfect guidance, whereby health may be preserved and people may find pleasure and enjoyment, and it may fulfil the purpose for which it was created, because sex was created for three basic purposes: The preservation and propagation of the human race, until they reach the number of souls that Allaah has decreed should be created in this world. Expulsion of the water (semen) which may cause harm to the body if it is retained. 207

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Fulfilling physical desires and enjoying physical pleasure. This alone is the feature that will be present in Paradise, because there will be no producing of offspring there, and no retention which needs to be relieved by ejaculation. The best doctors suggest that sex is one of the means of maintaining good health. (al-Tibb al-Nabawi, p. 249). And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Among its benefits is that it helps to lower the gaze, brings self-control, enables one to keep away from haraam things, and achieves all of these things for the woman too. It brings benefit to a man with regard to this world and the Hereafter, and benefits the woman too. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to enjoy regular intimate relations with his wives, and he said, “In your world, women and perfume have been made dear to me.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 3/128; al-Nasaa’i, 7/61; classed as saheeh by al-Haakim). And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity. And whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a protection for him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/92; Muslim, 1400). (al-Tibb al-Nabawi, 251). Among the important matters which should be paid attention to when engaging in intimate relations: Having the sincere intention of doing this thing only for the sake of Allaah. One should intend to do this to protect oneself and one’s wife from doing haraam things, to increase the numbers of the Muslim ummah so as to raise 208

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its status, for there is honour and pride in large numbers. It should be known that one will be rewarded for this action, even if he finds immediate pleasure and enjoyment in it. It was reported from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “In the sexual intercourse of any one of you there is reward” (meaning, when he has intercourse with his wife). They said, O Mesenger of Allaah, when any one of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that? He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you not see that if he were to do it in a haraam manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a halaal manner, he will be rewarded.” (Narrated by Muslim, 720). This is the great bounty of Allaah towards this Ummah; praise be to Allaah Who has made us among them. Intercourse should be preceded by kind words, playfulness and kisses. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to play with his wives and kiss them. When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should say: “Bismillaah, Allaahumma jannibnaa al-shaytaan wa jannib al-shaytaan maa razqtanaa (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah Keep us away from the Shaytaan and keep the Shaytaan away from what You bestow on us (our children)).” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: If Allaah decrees that they should have a child, the Shaytaan will never harm him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/187) It is permissible for the husband to have intercourse with his wife in her vagina in whatever manner he wishes, from behind or from the front, on the condition that it is in her vagina, which is the place from which a child is born. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina 209

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and not in the anus), when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Jews used to say that if a man had intercourse with his wife in her vagina from behind, the child would have a squint. Then this aayah was revealed: Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “From the front or from the back, so long as it is in the vagina.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 8/154; Muslim, 4/156). It is not permissible for the husband under any circumstances whatsoever to have intercourse with his wife in her back passage. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. It is known that the place of tilth is the vagina, which is the place from which one hopes for a child. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is cursed who has intercourse with women in their back passages.” (Narrated by Ibn ‘Udayy, 1/211; classed as saheeh by alAlbaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 105). This is because it [anal intercourse] goes against the fitrah [natural inclinations of man] and is an action which is revolting to those of a sound human nature; it also causes the woman to miss out on her share of pleasure; and the back passage is a place of filth and dirt – and there are other reasons which confirm the fact that this deed is haraam. For more information see Question #1103. If a man has intercourse with his wife and wants to come back to her a second time, he should do wudoo’, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) 210

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said: “If any one of you has intercourse with his wife then wants to repeat it, let him do wudoo’ between the two (actions), for it is more energizing for the second time.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1/171). This is mustahabb (recommended), not waajib (obligatory); if he is able to do ghusl between the two actions, this is better, because of the hadeeth of Abu Raafi’ who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went around his wives one day and did ghusl in this one’s house and in this one’s house. He (Abu Raafi’) said: I said to him, O Messenger of Allaah, why do you not do one ghusl? He said, “This is cleaner and better and purer.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood and al-Nasaa’i, 1/79) One or both of the spouses have to do ghusl in the following situations: when the “two circumcised parts” meet, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the circumcised part meets the circumcised part (according to another report: when the circumcised part touches the circumcised part), ghusl becomes waajib (obligatory).” (Narrated by Ahmad and Muslim, no. 526). This ghusl is obligatory whether ejaculation takes place or not. The touching of the circumcised parts means that the glans or tip of the penis penetrates the vagina; it does not mean mere touching. Emission of semen, even if the two circumcised parts do not touch, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Water is for water [i.e., the water of ghusl is necessary when the “water” of semen is ejaculated].” (Narrated by Muslim, no. 1/269). Al-Baghawi said in Sharh al-Sunnah (2/9): “Ghusl for janaabah [impurity following sexual discharge] is waajib in either of two cases: when the tip of the penis enters the vagina, or when gushing water is emitted by either the 211

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man or the woman.” For more information on the details of ghusl as prescribed in sharee’ah, see Question # 415. It is permissible for the husband and wife to do ghusl together in one place, even if he sees her and she sees him, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl together from one vessel between me and him; we would take turns dipping our hands in the vessel and he would take more than me until I would say, ‘Leave some for me, leave some for me.’” She said, and they were both junub (in a state of janaabah). Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim. It is permissible for a person who has to make ghusl to sleep and delay the ghusl until before the time of prayer, but it is definitely mustahabb for him to do wudoo’ before sleeping, because of the hadeeth of ‘Umar, who said that he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), Can any one of us sleep when he is junub? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Yes, but let him do wudoo’ if he wishes.” (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, 232). It is forbidden to have intercourse with a woman when she is menstruating (having her period), because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an adhaa (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have prufieied themselves, then go in unto them as Allaah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina). Truly, Allaah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts, 212

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bodies, for their prayers, etc.).” [al-Baqarah 2:222]. The person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating has to give a dinar or half a dinar in charity, as it was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) obliged a man to do when he came and asked him about that. This was reported by the authors of al-Sunan and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 122. But it is permissible for the husband to enjoy his menstruating wife without having intercourse, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would tell one of us, when she was menstruating, to wear a waist-wrapper, then her husband would lie with her.” (Agreed upon). It is permissible for the husband to withdraw (‘azl) if he does not want to have a child; by the same token it is permissible for him to use condoms – if his wife gives her permission, because she has the right to pleasure and to children. The evidence for this is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said, “We used to do ‘azl at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) heard about that, and he did not forbid us.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/250; Muslim, 4/160). But it is better not to do any of that, for several reasons, including the fact that it deprives the woman of pleasure or reduces the pleasure for her; and that it cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to increase the number of offspring, as mentioned above. It is forbidden for both spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life; indeed, this is one of the most evil things. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Among 213

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the most evil of people before Allaah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who comes to his wife and has intercourse with her, then he spreads her secrets.” (Narrated by Muslim, 4/157). It was reported from Asmaa’ bint Yazeed that she was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and men and women were sitting with him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Would any man say what he did with his wife? Would any woman tell others what she did with her husband?” The people kept quiet and did not answer. I [Asmaa’] said: “Yes, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah, they (women) do that, and they (men) do that.” He said, “Do not do that. It is like a male devil meeting a female devil in the road and having intercourse with her whilst the people are watching.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, no. 1/ 339; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 143). This is what we were able to mention about the etiquette of sexual relations. Praise be to Allaah Who has guided us to this great religion with its sublime manners. Praise be to Allaah Who has shown us the best of this world and the next. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 13518: Younger brother getting married before older brother Question: I am a young man aged 21 years. I want to get married 214

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but I have two older brothers who have not got married yet. Is it permissible for me to get married before them? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. This question was put to Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him), who said: I say to the brother who is asking the question, you are not too young to get married. ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas got married when he was 11 years old, and he had a child. Hence it was said that that there was only thirteen years between him and his son ‘Abd-Allaah. I say to the brother who is asking the question, put your trust in Allaah and get married, and when it is easy for your two older brothers to get married they will get married too. This is one of the grievous mistakes that some people make, when they do not let the younger daughter marry so longer as there is an older sibling. This is a shame. If someone whose character and religious commitment are suitable proposes marriage to her, then they should let her get married to him. Maybe there is something preventing the older sister from getting married. Often what happens is that it is decreed that the younger sister will marry first, so if the younger sister is not allowed to marry first, the older sister is prevented from marrying. Then when the younger sister gets married, Allaah opens the door for the older sister (to get married). This is something which is well known from experience, i.e., that not letting one daughter get married may prevent another from getting married. The same may apply to having children. We have heard more than one story of a man 215

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who gets married and remains childless for fifteen years, then he takes a second wife and the second wife gets pregnant from the first night of marriage, and then the first wife get pregnant at the same time. So we say to the one who is asking: get married and do not think that this means you are disobeying your parents or severing your ties of kinship with your brothers. Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen From the tape alLiqaa’ al-Shahriyyah, 15. (www.islam-qa.com) 11446: How should an Islamic wedding party be? Question: I am a new muslim and my parents are christian, they agree to take part in a islamic wedding but what are the steps we need to go about it? they are having it at their house and agreed to the food and becerage requirments fr the party following the ceremony. We are trying to have it so that everyone is comfortable. but I have no idea what to do before during or after and want to make sure everything is in place so that later I don’t have to find out that it is void because of a step not taken. I thought we were already married but I found out that we did not do it right.I need to know . Answer: Praise be to Allaah. For information on the steps involved in a correct marriage contract, please see Question no. 2127. With regard to having a wedding party in the Islamic manner, you have to keep away from the things which 216

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are forbidden in sharee’ah but which many people do not pay attention to during celebrations, such as the following: With regard to the woman: going to a male, non-mahram hairdresser to have her hair done; or adorning herself in ways that are haraam, such as thinning the eyebrows by plucking them, or wearing tattoos, or wearing hair extensions, or other kinds of haraam things, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed the one who plucks eyebrows and the one who has that done, the one who adds hair extensions and the one who asks to have that done; imitating the kuffaar in their dress, because usually the wedding dress shows many of the woman’s charms and her body, in such a way that the dress is very revealing - we seek refuge with Allaah – and also a great deal of money is wasted on the dress. Among the haraam actions that have to do with the man are: shaving his beard for the wedding night, which is done on the grounds that this makes him look more handsome, but this is something which is haraam according to sharee’ah; letting one’s clothes hang below the ankle (isbaal). There follows a list of haraam things which both men and women should avoid in the wedding party: 1- Mixing of men with women, and things that are involved in that, such as greeting and shaking hands with one another, and men and women dancing together, because all of that is haraam and is a very serious matter. 2- Taking pictures, whether men do that amongst themselves or women do that amongst themselves. 3- Drinking alcohol or eating pork. 4- Letting the husband come in to where the women are in order to take his wife. 217

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5- Women wearing revealing, tight or short clothes amongst themselves, because this is haraam – so how about wearing such things in front of men? 6- People should avoid spending extravagantly or going to extremes in showing off in wedding parties, because that may wipe out the blessing. 7- The husband and wife exchanging rings and thus imitating the kuffaar, thinking that this will increase the husband’s love for his wife and vice versa. Finally, both partners should know that the more the teachings of Islam are followed in the wedding party, the more blessed their marriage will be, the more love and harmony there will be between them, and the less problems they will encounter in their married life. For if the married life is based from the outset on haraam things which go against the commands of Allaah, how can they expect the marriage to be successful after that? There have been many marriages in which there were things that went against the commands of Allaah, and they did not last. Fear Allaah with regard to this party and keep it free of things that are forbidden in Islam. May Allaah bless you both. We ask Allaah to give you and your husband strength. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 8866: Is it makrooh to have intercourse facing the direction of the qiblah? Question: Is it makrooh to have intercourse facing the direction of 218

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the qiblah either out of doors or indoors? Are there any differences of opinion among the scholars concerning this matter? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. That is not makrooh, either out of doors or indoors. This is the view of al-Shaafa’i and all the scholars, except for some of the companions of Maalik. And Allaah knows best. Fataawa al-Imaam al-Nawawi, p. 190 (www.islamqa.com) 7838: Her husband forces her to have intercourse during menstruation Question: I am a Muslim woman and am married, praise be to Allaah. But my husband has intercourse with me during my period. Is it permissible for him to do that, or should I stop him? It also hurts me and upsets me. I am asking this question because I heard from my friends that it is not permissible for a man to have intercourse with his wife during her period. May Allaah reward you with good for this program which has given me the opportunity to ask about an embarrassing matter such as this. I am suffering from this problem and do not know what to do. May Allaah make you a source of help for Islam and the Muslims. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 219

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It is haraam (forbidden) for a man to have intercourse with his wife during her period. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore, keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they are purified (from menses and have taken a bath)” [al-Baqarah 2:222]. So it is not permissible for a man to have intercourse with his wife until she has become pure and has taken a bath (made ghusl), because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allâh has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina).” [al-Baqarah 2:222] Another indication of how abhorrent this sin is, is the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Whoever has intercourse with a menstruating woman, or has anal intercourse with a woman, or goes to a fortune-teller, has disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi from Abu Hurayrah, 1/243; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5918). So you have to prevent him and stop him from doing that. If you obey him in this matter then you will be a partner in the sin with him, but if he forces you to do it then the sin will be on him.please see Question #2121 And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 220

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1696: What should a man say when he enters upon his bride? Question: What is the Sunnah when entering upon one’s wife on the wedding night? Many people mistakenly think that he should read Soorat al-Baqarah and pray, and this custom is widespread nowadays. Answer: Praise be to Allaah When a man enters upon his wife for the first time, he should take her forelock in his hand and say: “Allaahumma innee as’aluka khayrahaa wa khayra ma jabaltahaa ‘alayh, wa a’oodhu bika min sharrihaa wa sharri ma jabaltahaa ‘alayh (O Allaah, I ask You for the goodness within her and the goodness that You have made her inclined towards, and I take refuge with You from the evil within her and the evil that You have made her inclined towards).” (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 2160; Ibn Maajah, no. 1918), But if he fears that the woman may get upset if he takes hold of her forelock and recites this du’aa’, then he can take hold of her forelock as if he is going to kiss her, and recite this du’aa’ to himself under his breath, without letting her hear him, so that she will not be upset. If she is a woman who has knowledge, she will know that this is prescribed by Islam and that there is nothing wrong with him doing and saying this in such a way that she can hear it. As for praying two rak’ahs when he enters the room where his wife is, it was reported that some of the salaf did this, so if the man does this it is good, and if he does not do it, there is nothing wrong with that. As for reciting al-Baqarah and other soorahs, I know of no basis for doing this. 221

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Liqa’ al-Baab al-Maftooh by Ibn al-‘Uthaymeen, 52/41 (www.islam-qa.com) 854: What should a Muslim do when he wants to consummate his marriage? Question: assalamuvalakum I am a 21yr old young man and inshallah next year getting married. My question is that, i need to know the way a marriage is set to be planned, i mean how is the nikah supposed to be performed, how many people can i invite is there a limit, can i have music, dancing during my wedding or during reception or valima. Also i need to know is that, whose responsibility is it to conduct the nikah and valima, is it the brides, or the bride grooms. I need to know this answer a.s.a.p. so i could inform my family and inshallah i will implement it in my life, so Allah will bless me and my marriage. My family is from XXX and so show alot of custom. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. When a Muslim wants to consummate his marriage, a number of things are recommended in the sunnah: He should treat his bride kindly and gently, like offering her something to drink and so on, because of the hadeeth narrated by Asmaa’ bint Yazeed ibn al-Sakan, who said: “I prepared ‘Aa’ishah as a bride when she married the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be 222

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upon him). I came to him and invited him to see her (uncover her face). So he came and sat beside her, and a large cup of milk was brought to him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) drank some, then offered it to her, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I rebuked her and said: ‘Take it from the hand of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).’ So she took it and drank a little, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her, ‘Give some to your companion (meaning himself).’” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad and deemed saheeh by alAlbaani) He should place his hand on his bride’s head and pray for her, saying “Bismillaah” and asking for barakah (blessing), saying the words reported in the hadeeth narrated by ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas, who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When one of you marries a woman or buys a servant, let him say: ‘Allaahumma inni as’aluka khayraha wa khayra ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi wa a’oodhu bika min sharriha wa min sharri ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi (O Allaah, I ask You for her goodness and the goodness which You have created in her, and I seek refuge with You from her evil and the evil which You have created in her).’” Abu Dawud said that Abu Sa’eed added: “Then let him take hold of her forelock and pray for blessing from this woman or servant.” (Reported by Abu Dawud in al-Sunan, Kitaab al-Nikaah, Baab fi jaami’ al-nikaah; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 341) He should pray two rak’ahs with her, leading her in prayer, because this is reported as being the practice of the salaf (early generations). There are two reports concerning this. (i) from Abu Sa’eed, the freed slave of Abu Usayd, which states that a group of the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught him 223

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and told him: “When your wife comes in to you, pray two rak’ahs and ask Allaah for the goodness of what has come to you, and seek refuge with Him from its evil.” (ii) from Shaqeeq, who said: “A man called Abu Hareez came and said (to ‘Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood, may Allaah be pleased with him): ‘I have married a young virgin girl, but I am afraid that she may hate me.’ ‘Abdullaah said: ‘Love comes from Allaah and hatred comes from Shaytaan, who wants to make you hate what Allaah has made permissible. When she comes to you, tell her to pray two rak’ahs behind you.’” (These two reports were narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah; see Aadaab al-Zafaaf by al-Albaani). When he wants to consummate the marriage, he should say the words reported in the hadeeth reported by Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said: “When one of you wants to approach (have intercourse with) his wife, if he says: ‘Bismillahi Allaahumma jannibna al-Shaytaan wa jannib al-Shaytaan ma razaqtana (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, protect us from Shaytaan and protect whatever You give to us from Shaytaan)’ – then if they are given a child, Shaytaan will not harm it.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, no. 3271) (For more information, see Aadaab al-Zafaaf by alAlbaani, p. 91) There is no limit to the number of guests one can invite to a wedding feast (waleema), so invite whoever you wish of your relatives, the bride’s relatives, your friends and anyone you have a good reason to invite. It is not permitted in Islam to do anything that is haraam such as having music, letting men and women mix, or letting women dance in front of men, or other things that 224

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earn the wrath of Allaah. How can the blessing of Allaah be exchanged for disobedience and immorality? At weddings, women can do whatever is allowed in Islam, such as singing acceptable songs with good words or entertaining themselves by playing the daff (a certain kind of drum, resembling a tambourine without the rattles) only, so long as no men are present. Providing the wedding feast (waleema) is the husband’s responsibility. The sunnah is to slaughter one sheep or more for the guests, if he is able to, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to ‘Abd alRahmaan ibn ‘Awf, “Give a wedding feast, even if it is only one sheep.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, no. 2048). We ask Allaah to bless you and your bride and to grant you a happy marriage. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 2375: When should one pray two rak’ahs with one’s bride? Question: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh My question is regarding praying nawafil between Asr and Maghrib. I am getting married this Wednesday, insha’ Allah. The marriage ceremony (i.e. writing the contract) will be right after Asr prayer. I wanted to know if it is permissible to pray the two Sunnah rakat that are to be prayed upon marriage. Does the specific order of praying these two 225

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rakat over ride the general ruling of no nawafil between Asr and Maghrib ? Also, is this the case in general (i.e. specific over rides general) ? P.S. Please answer quickly, I have two days to find out ! Answer: Praise be to Allaah. What was reported in the hadeeth of Ibn Mas’ood is that the groom should lead his bride in praying two rak’ahs when he goes in unto her, not immediately after the marriage contract. What you should do is pray two rak’ahs for istikhaarah and pray the du’aa’ of istikhaarah before you do the marriage contract. According to the most correct opinion among the scholars, prayers for which there is a reason are allowed at times when other naafil prayers are prohibited. See question # (854). And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 1202: What is Said Just Prior to Intercourse Question: Salam; I have a question that everyone I asked had a different answer for. Does the Muslim have to say anything during the sexual intercourse “nikkah”?, and does the Muslim “husband and wife “ have to pray before the first day of sexual intercourse “nikkah”? 226

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Thank you for having this website to help us understand our religion more. Answer: Praise be to Allah; Among the manners prescribed by the shari’ah is that the Muslim should say when he commences intercourse with his wife: ”bismillaah, oh Allaah, shield us from Satan and keep him away from us and from what You [may] bestow upon us (i.e. children)” narrated by Al-Bukhari, Fath ul-Baari # 138 [transliteration: “bismillaah, allaahumma jannibnashshaytaana wa jannib-ash-shaytaana maa razaqtana”] This opening invocation is useful in that if Allaah blesses the husband and the wife with a child, this child will not be harmed by Satan. As for what is to be said by the husband when consummating the marriage with his wife,(please refer to Question# 854 which has been answered previously) . Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 1103: Ruling on Intercourse with a Woman in her rectum Question: Please accept my apology if this questions offends, but in 227

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the pursuit of Islamic knowledge, we cannot afford to be shy for fear that if we are not well advised, we may commit a sin. I have been advised by a friend that there is a “qawl” (opinion) among some ulamaa’ (scholars) that it is permissible to conduct anal sex (anal penetration) (between man and wife only) during the time of the wife’s haydh (menstruation). Is this correct? Please also advise the laws and penalties relevant to it. Answer: Praise be to Allah. Your apology is accepted. Striving to understand the rulings of Sharee’ah in this and similar matters is not haraam or shameful; it is necessary. As regards your question, anal intercourse with one’s wife is a major sin, whether it occurs at the time of menstruation or not. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) cursed the one who does this: “Cursed is the one who approaches his wife in her rectum” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/479; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5865). The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) also said: “The one who has intercourse with a menstruating woman, or with a woman in her rectum, or who goes to a fortune-teller, has disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 1/243; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5918). In spite of the fact that many wives of sound nature refuse 228

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this, there are some husbands who threaten their wives with divorce if they do not obey them (in this matter), and some even deceive their wives, who are too shy to ask scholars about it, into thinking that it is permissible. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) said that a man may approach his wife in any way he likes, from the front or the back, so long as intercourse takes place in the place from through which a child is born. There is no doubt that the rectum is the place from which waste matter is expelled, not the place from which a child is born. Another reason why some may commit this immoral act is that they enter upon what should be a clean married life with some jaahili (ignorant) traditions and odd practices, or with memories of scenes from indecent movies, for which they have not repented to Allaah. It is known that this act is forbidden even if both partners agree to it. Mutual consent to a haraam deed does not make it halaal. I ask Allah to bestow upon us a proper understanding of His religion and to make us adhere to its limits, for He is the All-Hearing, the One Who answers prayers. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com)

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Chapter 8 Brotherhood in Islam 34621: Can a person say to his friend “Ya Khaleeli (O my close friend)”? Question: If a person says to his friend, “You are my khaleel (close friend),” or says “So and so is my khaleel”, what is the ruling on that? I hope that you can explain to me because I am confused and do not know how I should respond if someone says that to me. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There is nothing wrong with a person saying to one whom he loves for the sake of Allaah, “You are my khaleel (close friend)”. Some of the Sahaabah used this word with regard to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Khillah (close friendship) is the highest form of mahabbah (love). But the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had no khaleel (close friend) because Allaah took him as a close friend. But this does not contradict what the Sahaabah said about regarding him as their khaleel, because it is not a condition of khillah (close friendship) that each party regards the other as a khaleel. It was narrated that Abu Dharr said: I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, five days before he died, “I declare before Allaah that I have no khaleel from among you, for Allaah has taken me as a khaleel as He took Ibraaheem as a khaleel. But if I were 230

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to have taken anyone from among my ummah as a khaleel, I would have taken Abu Bakr as a khaleel. But those who came before you used to take the graves of their Prophets and righteous men as places of worship. Do not take graves as places of worship, for I forbid you to do that.” Narrated by Muslim, 532. And it was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: My close friend (khaleel – i.e. the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) enjoined three things upon me that I will not give up until I die: fasting three days of each month, praying Duha, and sleeping after Witr. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1124; Muslim, 721. Al-Haafiz Ibn Jahar said: The khaleel is a sincere friend whom one takes as a close friend because love for him takes deep root in one’s heart. There was some scholarly dispute as to whether khillah (close friendship) is of a higher status than mahabbah (love) or vice versa. These words of Abu Hurayrah do not contradict what we have quoted above from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “But if I were to have taken anyone from among my ummah as a khaleel, I would have taken Abu Bakr as a khaleel”, because the fact that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not take anyone as a close friend does not rule out the opposite, and no one says that close friendship can only be complete if each party regards the other as a khaleel, because the Sahaabi looked at this relationship from his own point of view, or perhaps he only meant companionship and love. Fath al-Baari, 3/57 This word was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) more than once. 231

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This word was also used by the great Sahaabi Abu Dharr al-Ghifaari with regard to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), as was narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1342; Muslim, 992. And it was mentioned in another hadeeth narrated by Muslim, 648. It is worth pointing out here that we should think before we speak such words that indicate deep love and sincere friendship, and look at the basis and purpose of the relationship, and ensure that it is far removed from any haraam attachment or things that are not pleasing to Allaah, so that it will not be a source of loss and regret on the Day of Resurrection: “Friends on that Day will be foes one to another except AlMuttaqoon (the pious)” [al-Zukhruf 43:67] And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 12477: Muslims in Britain Question: Why the islamic community they are not strong and work together in uk like southafrica?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. In order for the community to be strong, they must unite in following the Qur’aan and Sunnah and the understanding of the salaf (early generations) of this 232

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ummah, so that they can refer to infallible sources to judge between them in cases of dispute. The Muslims should support one another, so that a Muslim helps his brother and the one who is obedient to Allaah gives advice to one who is falling short. The Muslim must know who are the enemies of Islam so that he can disavow himself of them clearly. The Muslims should form a sharee’ah council to which they can refer to resolve disputes and seek their rights as granted by sharee’ah, and to supervise the Muslims in their education and activities, and to check that their food and drink is halaal and that their dead are washed and buried in accordance with sharee’ah, and other things that they need. A strong community should have certain basic attributes, and we have mentioned the most important of them. We ask Allaah to guide the Muslims everywhere and enable them to form a single, united ummah. We do not know exactly what the situation is in Britain or what problems the community is facing there. You could contact the scholars or Islamic institutions there to find out the situation of the Muslims and their weak points. Then we could try to help solve them to the best of our ability. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 21530: Can a Muslim be a sincere friend to a kaafir? Question: I have questions about Islam; can you explain them to me? Is it permissible for a Muslim to be a sincere friend to a person who is not Muslim?. 233

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for a Muslim to make friends with a mushrik or to take him as a close friend, because Islam calls on us to forsake the kaafirs and to disavow them, because they worship someone other than Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! Take not as friends the people who incurred the Wrath of Allaah (i.e. the Jews). Surely, they have despaired of (receiving any good in) the Hereafter, just as the disbelievers have despaired of those (buried) in graves (that they will not be resurrected on the Day of Resurrection)” [al-Mumtahanah 60:13] This was also the teaching of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). 1 – It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, “Do not keep company with anyone but a believer and do not let anyone eat your food but one who is pious.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2395; Abu Dawood, 4832. Abu ‘Eesa al-Tirmidhi said: this hadeeth is hasan. It was also classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2519). Abu ‘Eesa al-Khattaabi said: Rather he warned against keeping company with anyone who is not pious and against mixing with them or eating with them, because eating with a person instills friendship and love in the heart. He said: do not make friends with anyone who is not pious; do not take him as a companion with whom you eat and chat. 234

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(Ma’aalim al-Sunan, Haamish Mukhtasar Sunan Abi Dawood, 7/185, 186). 2 – It was narrated from Samurah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not live among the mushrikeen and do not mix with them, for whoever lives among them or mixes with them is not one of us.” (Narrated by al-Bayhaqi, 9/142; al-Haakim, 2/154. He said, it is saheeh according to the conditions of alBukhaari. The hadeeth was also classed as saheeh by alAlbaani in al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 2/229 with its corroborating reports). But it is permissible to deal with them in a kind manner in the hope that they might become Muslim. It was narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: There was a Jewish boy who used to serve the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he fell sick. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to visit him. He sat by his head and said, “Become Muslim.” (The boy) looked at his father who was with him, and he (the father) said, “Obey Abu’lQaasim (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).” So he became Muslim, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went out, saying, “Praise be to Allaah Who has saved him from the Fire” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1290). And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 11592: He wants to refer his claim against a Muslim to a kaafir court Question: I started a small business and I gave a Muslim brother 235

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some of my products to sell. This was about a year ago. The brother claims to have sold all of my products but he hasn’t given me any money. I have been asking him for months now to give me my money. He always claims to be “too busy” to come by and give me my money. However, he has all the time in the world to visit and mingle with kaafirs outside of his being “busy”. What should I do to get my money back? I was thinking about taking him to small claims court. Is it Halal to sue your Muslim brother? Also, can I make dua against this brother? If so, can you give me the duas and some advise? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. You could take him to court. If there is a sharee’ah court there, then praise be to Allaah. Otherwise you can take to him to a court of the country in which you live, but only after exhausting all possible means of getting back what you are owed, such as getting other people to mediate in the matter. With regard to praying against him, if it is quite clear to you that he intends to take your property wrongfully, then you have the right to pray against him. Shaykh Sa’d al-Humayd (www.islam-qa.com) 7837: How can we support our brothers who are in need or who have suffered disasters? Question: What are our duties towards our Muslim brothers who have been stricken by calamities and disasters throughout the world? 236

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion)…” [al-Hujuraat 49:10] And He describes them (interpretation of the meaning): “…severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves…” [al-Fath 48:29] The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The relationship of the believer towards the people of faith is like that of the head to the body. The believer feels the pain of the people of faith just as the body feels the pain of the head.” (Narrated by Imaam Ahmad). Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) neatly summed up the ways in which a believer can support his fellow-believer. He said: There are different ways of supporting a fellow believer: with one’s wealth, with one’s position of authority or power, by means of physical service, by offering sincere advice and guidance, by making supplication (du’aa’) and asking for forgiveness for them, and by feeling their pain. The level of one’s support will be affected by the level of one’s faith. The weaker a person’s faith, the weaker his support will be; the stronger the faith, the stronger the support. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was the greatest of all people in his support for his companions, so the more closely his followers follow him, the greater will be their support for their fellow-believers. (al-Fawaa’id, 1/171) 237

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Al-Khaleel ibn Ahmad was walking with a companion of his when his companion’s shoe broke, so he carried his shoes and walked barefoot. Al-Khaleel took off his own shoes and carried them and walked barefoot. His companion asked him why he was doing that, and he said, “I am showing sympathy for you in your being barefoot.” Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 173: Love for the sake of Allah Question: haven’t any question, but I want to say to you : ana uhebbuka fe allah( I love for the sake of Allah )wa asaalu Allaha an yuwaffequka fe al dunya wa al akherah( I pray that Allah may grant you success in this life and the life after). Answer: Al-hamdu lillaah. May Allaah reward you, dear brother, for practicing the sunnah, as it has been related by Al-Miqdaam bin Ma’di Karib that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “If any of you loves his brother then he should inform him” (Tirmidhi, Hadeeth Hasan Sahih) Also, Anas ibn Maalik related: “I was sitting with the Prophet when a man came passing by, and he said, ‘Oh Prophet of Allaah, indeed I love this man (in a brotherly way)’; so he (the Prophet ) said, ‘Have you informed him of this?’; so the man said, ‘No.’; so the Prophet said, ‘Get up and go tell him.’; so 238

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he got up and went to him and said, ‘Oh so-and-so, by Allaah, indeed I love you for the sake of Allaah’; so he said, ‘May the One for whom you have loved me, love you (in return).” (related by Imam Ahmad and Abu Daawood and it is hadeeth sahih.) So I say to you: ‘ahabbak allaah ullaadhi ahbabtani feeh’ (May the One for whom you have loved me, love you, in return.) Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com)

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Chapter 9 Names and Nicknames 23273: How important is it for a new Muslim to change his name? Question: Upon becoming muslim, how important is it to change your name?and what is the differance between an arabic name and a muslim name?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Names carry meanings, and every person will be influenced by (the meaning of) his name, in most cases. Man is required to call himself – or his children – by good names with good meanings, so that they will be influenced positively by their names. Islam came to the Arabs and the non-Arabs, and it is not essential for a new Muslim to take an Arabic name, rather what is required is that he should not have a name that is ugly or carries a meaning that goes against Islam. Many Persians and Byzantines embraced Islam and kept their names, and did not change them. Indeed many of the Prophets had names that were not Arabic because they were not Arabs. Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: Does a person who becomes Muslim have to change his name like George or Joseph etc? He replied: He does not have to change his name unless it is a name 240

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that reflects servitude to someone or something other than Allaah, but it is good to change his name to something better. So if he changes his name from a foreign name to an Islamic name, that is good, but as to whether it is obligatory, no it is not. But if his name was ‘Abd al-Maseeh [= “slave of the Messiah”, a name common among Arab Christians; a similar name in English cultures would be “Christopher” — Translator] or something of that nature, then he should change it, but if the name does not imply servitude to anything or anyone other than Allaah, such as George and Paul, etc., then he does not have to change it, because these names are shared by Christians and others. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 4/404. See also the answer to Question no. 14622. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 6620: Should he change his wife’s name Sahira? Question: I got married recently . My wife’s name is “SAHIRA”. 1. What does “Sahira” mean in Quranic Arabic?; 2. If it has a bad meaning then should I change it?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Sihr (magic, witchcraft) is a word used to describe spells, incantations and knots [used for purposes of witchcraft] which have an effect on people’s hearts and bodies, so that may cause sickness, kill or cause division between a man and his wife. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 241

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“And from these (angels) people learn that by which they cause separation between man and his wife” [al-Baqarah 2:102] Sihr is a devilish action, most of which is only achieved by means of shirk and drawing close to the shayaateen (devils) by means of that which they love. The saahir (practitioner of witchcraft) is the one who does this action. The word Saahirah describes a woman who does that. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And from the evil of those who practise witchcraft when they blow in the knots” [al-Falaq 113:4] This is a references to female witches (sawaahir pl. of saahirah). Sihr is a major sin. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “and the magician will never be successful, to whatever amount (of skill) he may attain” [Ta-Ha 20:69] The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid the seven sins which doom a person to Hell” – among which he mentioned sihr (witchcraft). Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2767; Muslim, 89. The word sihr is sometimes used to refer to permissible things such as eloquence and the ability to express oneself in a clear and moving manner, which stirs people’s hearts, as in the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of 242

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Allaah be upon him): “Some eloquent speech is as effective as magic.” Whatever the case, it is preferable to change this name, but you must avoid names which may have false meanings or which may cause confusion or lead to the person being accused. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to change ugly names to good names. See question no. 14622, Is it obligatory to change a name if it is not good? It was narrated from Ibn ‘Umar that ‘Umar had a daughter whose name was ‘Aasiyah (meaning disobedient). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) named her Jameelah instead. Narrated by Muslim, 2139. Names carry meanings, as it is said, and everyone is influenced by his name. So we are required to choose good names that have meanings. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 14622: Is it obligatory to change one’s name if its meaning is not good? Question: Is it obligatory to change one’s name if its meaning is not good?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 243

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Names have meanings, as the saying goes, and every person is influenced by the meaning of his name. So a person should be given a suitable name that has a good meaning, so that he will be influenced by his name. Ibn al-Qayyim said: Because names have meanings, it is wise that there should be a proper connection between the meaning of the names and the object that is carrying the name. It should not be the case that the meaning is not suited to the object and there is no connection between the meaning and the object, because this is what is decreed by the Most Wise, and reality testifies to that. Indeed names have a great impact on the objects to which they are applied, and the objects that carry these names will definitely be influenced by these names, whether these names are good or ugly, whether they refer to meanings of lightness or heaviness, kindness or cruelty.” Zaad al-Ma’aad, 2/336 Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to change bad names to good ones. It was narrated from Ibn ‘Umar that a daughter of ‘Umar was called ‘Aasiyah (disobedient), but the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) renamed her Jameelah (beautiful). Narrated by Muslim, 2139. The ruling – changing names to good names – has to do with what is mustahabb and preferable; it is not obligatory or binding. The evidence for that is the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (6190) from Ibn al-Musayyab that his father came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and he said, “What is your name?” He said, “Hazn (meaning rough).” He said, “You are Sahl (meaning easy).” He said, 244

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“I will not change the name that my father gave to me.” Ibn al-Musayyab said, “And we have had roughness (in character) ever since.” Roughness means being harsh and difficult to deal with. Ibn Battaal said: This shows that improving names and changing names to something better is not something that is obligatory. Fath al-Baari. And if it had been obligatory, the Sahaabi would not have refused to change his name, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have compelled him to change his name. And Allaah knows best. But if the name carries a meaning implying servitude to someone other than Allaah, such as ‘Abd al-Nabi (slave of the Prophet) and ‘Abd al-Maseeh (slave of the Messiah), and the like, then these names must be changed, because it is not permissible to be a slave of someone other than Allaah, and because all of creation belongs to Allaah and is subjugated to Him. Ibn Hazm (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The scholars are agreed that every name which implies servitude to someone other than Allaah – such as ‘Abd ‘Amr or ‘Abd al-Ka’bah and so on, is haraam. Fath al-Majeed, p. 531 And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 245

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14626: Does changing one’s name change the divine decree? Question: Does changing one’s name change the divine decree?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Changing one’s name does not change the divine decree, but it may have an effect on the person and his life. Al-Bukhaari (6190) narrated from Ibn al-Musayyab that his father came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and he said, “What is your name?” He said, “Hazn (meaning rough).” He said, “You are Sahl (meaning easy).” He said, “I will not change the name that my father gave to me.” Ibn al-Musayyab said, “And we have had roughness (in character) ever since.” With regard to the phrase “And we have had roughness (in character) ever since” – Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath: Al-Dawoodi said: it means that they were harsh, except that in the case of Sa’eed this harshness showed itself only in anger for the sake of Allaah. Someone else said: it refers to the toughness that remained in their character. The genealogists said that his son had some bad characteristics that were well known among them, which you could find in all of them. Ibn al-Qayyim said: Because names have meanings, it is wise that there should 246

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be a proper connection between the meaning of the names and the object that is carrying the name. It should not be the case that the meaning is not suited to the object and there is no connection between the meaning and the object, because this is what is decreed by the Most Wise, and reality testifies to that. Indeed names have a great impact on the objects to which they are applied, and the objects that carry these names will definitely be influenced by these names, whether these names are good or ugly, whether they refer to meanings of lightness or heaviness, kindness or cruelty.” Zaad al-Ma’aad, 2/336 And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 12617: Does a Christian woman have to give her child from her Muslim boyfriend a Muslim name? Question: If you’re child is going to be muslim must they have a muslim name or can it be a western name as i am not muslim (as yet) my boyfriend is and without sounding cheeky i dont like much of the muslim names. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: Your Muslim boyfriend should not have a girlfriend. If he wants to marry you, that is o.k. even if you are not Muslim, but on the condition that you are one of the 247

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People of the Book, i.e., Jewish or Christian. We ask Allaah to guide you to Islam and to help you to embrace it, and you will feel happy and it will change your life for the better, in sha Allaah (if Allaah wills). Secondly: It is not essential for your child to have an Islamic name, although it is preferable. But it should not be a name that has an ugly or offensive meaning, or a name which is distinctively the name of a kaafir (disbeliever), such as ‘Abd al-Maseeh (meaning “slave of the Messiah” – a name that is common among Arab Christians). For us, names have great significance. Ibn al-Qayyim – one of the greatest Muslim scholars – said: Because names carry meanings, it makes sense that there should be a connection between the name and the meaning, and that the meaning should not be like a total stranger with no connection to the name. Rather names have an impact on the things named, and the things named are affected by their names, whether they are beautiful or ugly, light or heavy, soft or rough. Zaad al-Ma’aad, 2/ 336. So long as your child will be a Muslim – as will you, in sha Allaah – we hope that you will not make him an object of mockery to others or make him stand out because of his having a name that is different from the names of other Muslims. As the child has not yet been born, you still have the opportunity to choose a good name for him, because it may be difficult to change it after he grows up. Thirdly: 248

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You could choose some good names for boys and girls from a book by Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd entitled Tasmiyat al-Mawlood. Please also see question no. 7180. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 21359: How the name affects the child Question: My father-in-law left 6years back.we putten our sons name mohammad ibrahim in his memory.due to this every body is telling dont shout him ,dont call him like every mother calls,call him respectively.because elders name we putten anoyher name suhail.we are calling with suahil name.but i want to call my son like every mothet not like a respecting him.now iam not able to scold him also.is name effects their personality and fate also? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: There is nothing wrong with calling your son after your husband’s father. This is a sign of the son’s respect and love for his father, especially when his name includes the names of two Prophets. Secondly: The fact that the child is called after a Prophet or a Sahaabi – let alone after your father-in-law! – does not mean that he cannot be scolded or rebuked. You have the right to 249

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call him as any mother calls her child, without having to use titles of respect. The fact that a child is called by a name that is beloved to Allaah or by the name of one of the Prophets does not mean that he cannot be punished or rebuked when he does something wrong. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded parents and guardians to teach their children to pray when they are seven years old and to smack them if they do not pray when they are ten years old. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not make an exception for anyone whose name is Muhammad or any other name with regard to this ruling. It is proven in many cases that the Sahaabah and Taabi’een rebuked, scolded and smacked their children, and many of them were called Muhammad, ‘Abd-Allaah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan. Thirdly: It is known that the name usually has an effect on the person who carries it. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) changed bad names to good names. Ibn al-Qayyim said: Because names have meanings, these meanings will inevitably have an effect on the person who carries the name. Names have an effect on the things that are named, and the things that are named have an effect on their names, whether they are beautiful or ugly, light or heavy, subtle or crude. Zaad al-Ma’aad, 2/336 Fourthly: 250

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Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz was asked about the soundness of the hadeeth, “Whoever is called Muhammad should not be beaten or insulted.” He said: This hadeeth is fabricated and falsely attributed to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and it has no basis in the pure Sunnah. The same applies to the saying, “Whoever is called Muhammad under the protection of Muhammad and his name will bring him close to Paradise.” The same applies to those who say, “Whoever is called Muhammad his household will have such and such…” All of these reports have no sound basis. What matters is following Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), not being called by his name. How many of those who are called Muhammad are evil, because they do not follow Muhammad or implement his sharee’ah. Names do not purify people; what purifies them is their righteous deeds and their fear of Allaah. So whoever is called Ahmad or Muhammad or Abu’l-Qaasim and is a kaafir or an evildoer will not benefit from his name. Rather what each person must do is fear Allaah and strive to obey Allaah and adhere to the sharee’ah of Allaah with which He sent His Prophet Muhammad. This is what will benefit him, and this is the way to salvation. As for names without acting in accordance with sharee’ah, they have nothing to do with salvation or punishment. Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 6/370. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 31245: When naming a girl Fatimah it is not essential to add any another name to that Question: do we have to add any other name before ‘Fatima’ like 251

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Ghulam Fatima, Kaneez Fatima, Noor Fatima etc? or we can simply name a girl Fatima? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. You can call your daughter Fatimah without adding any other name to that. But when we mention Fatimah the daughter of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon her), we say “Faatimah radiya Allaahu ‘anha (may Allaah be pleased with her), because she was one of the Sahaabah and Allaah is pleased with them. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 13961: The meaning of the name ‘Aa’ishah Question: Hellow. I would like to know what my name means in muslim useage. A friend told me that my name is muslim. It’s Iesha. But my father spells it Aiecia. I would really appreciate it if someone could tell me what it means. Thank you for your time. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. This is the name ‘Aa’ishah, which is a good name. It is 252

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the name of one of the great Sahaabi women [the Sahaabah were the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) – Translator]. And this name is the name of the Mother of the Believers and of the most beloved to him of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), whose name was ‘Aa’ishah bint Abi Bakr al-Siddeeq (may Allaah be pleased with her). And Allaah knows best. The meaning of ‘Aa’ishah in Arabic is taken from the verb ‘aasha (to live, to be alive); ‘aysh means life. It is said in Arabic ‘a’aashahu Allaah ‘eesahatn raadiyan, meaning Allaah caused him to live a good life. The phrase rajul ‘aayish means a man who is in a good situation. The form ‘Aa’ishah is applied to women (i.e., it is the feminine form). See Mukhtaar al-Sihaah, vol. 7, p. 195. Al-Qaamoos alMuheet, vol. 1, p. 773 Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 13778: Mentioning husband’s or wife’s name in front of people Question: In many cultures a person is refered to as father of so and so or mother of so and so. Also generally women do not call their husband by name but refer to them as father of their eldest child’s name. Is there evidence in the quran and sunnah for such a thing and if not, how do this practice start? Is it islamically wrong for a woman to call her husband 253

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by his name or for a man to call his wife by her name when mentioning him/her? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: Yes, it was proven that some of the Sahaabiyaat (female Sahaabah) mentioned their husband by their kunyahs (“father of So and so”). Examples of that include the following. It was narrated that ‘Awn Abu Juhayfah said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) established the bond of brotherhood between Salman and Abu’lDardaa’. Salmaan went to visit Abu’l-Dardaa’ and he saw Umm al-Dardaa’ looking unkempt. He said to her, “What is the matter with you?” She said, “Your brother Abu’lDardaa’ has no interest in this world.” Then Abu’l-Dardaa’ came (to visit Salmaan) and he made food for him, but he said, “I am fasting.” He said, “I will not eat until you eat.” So he ate. When night came, Abu’l-Dardaa’ went to stand in prayer. [Salmaan] said to him, “Go to sleep.” He slept a while, then he went to stand in prayer. [Salmaan] said to him, “Go to sleep.” When the end of the night came, Salmaan said to him, “Now get up.” They prayed, then Salmaan said “Your Lord has rights over you, your own self has rights over you and your family has rights over you. Give each one who has rights over you his rights.” [Abu’l-Dardaa’] came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him about that, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Salmaan spoke the truth.” (Narrated by alBukhaari, 1832) It was narrated that Faatimah bint Qays said: My husband Abu ‘Amr ibn Hafs ibn al-Mugheerah ‘Ayyaash ibn 254

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Rabee’ah sent word to me, divorcing me, and he sent with it five wasa’ of dates and five wasa’ of barley. I said, “Do I have no maintenance apart from this, and should I not spend my ‘iddah in your house?” He said, “No.” I got dressed and went to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) . He said, “How many times has he divorced you (talaaq)?” I said, “Three.” He said, “He was right when he said that he does not have to spend on your maintenance.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2721) Secondly: With regard to a woman mentioning her husband by name, there is nothing wrong with that. For example: It was narrated that Zaynab, the wife of ‘Abd-Allaah (i.e., ibn Mas’ood) said: I was in the mosque and I saw the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He said, “Give in charity, even if it is from your jewellery.” Zaynab used to spend on ‘Abd-Allaah and on the orphans under her care. She said to ‘Abd-Allaah, “Ask the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) whether it is enough charity for me to spend on you and on the orphans under my care.” He said, “You go and ask the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).” So she went to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and found a woman from among the Ansaar at the door, with a similar question. [Zaynab said:] Bilaal passed by us and we said, “Ask the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) whether it is charity enough for me to spend on my husband and the orphans under my care. But do not tell him who we are.” He went in and asked him. (The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) asked, “Who is it?” He said, “Zaynab”. He asked, “Which Zaynab?” He said, “The wife of ‘Abd-Allaah.” (The Prophet (peace 255

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and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) said, “Yes, she will have two rewards, the reward of upholding the ties of kinship and the reward of charity.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1373; Muslim, 1667) It was narrated that Khuwaylah bint Maalik ibn Tha’labah said: “My husband Aws ibn al-Saamit divorced me by zihaar [saying “you are to me as my mother’s back”], so I came and complained to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) argued with me on his behalf and said, “Fear Allaah, for he is your cousin (son of your paternal uncle).” I did not leave before Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning): ‘Indeed Allaah has heard the statement of her (Khawlah bint Tha‘labah) that disputes with you (O Muhammad) concerning her husband (Aus bin AsSaamit),’ [al-Mujaadilah 58:1] (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1893; classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan and al-Haakim. See Khalaasat al-Badr alMuneer, 2/229) Thirdly: With regard to saying one’s husband’s or wife’s name in front of other people, that depends on local custom (‘urf) of the people in any given society. In some societies, doing that is disliked, and in some societies it may even be seen as a lack of gheerah (protective jealousy). In the hadeeth of Ibn Mas’ood mentioned above, Bilaal (may Allaah be pleased with him) mentioned the wife of Ibn Mas’ood by name (Zaynab). If a woman is well known by her name and it is OK for people other than her husband to mention her by name, then how about her husband? 256

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It is preferable to mention people by their kunyah rather than their names in some societies, or in front of some people. Many problems arise from taking the matter of mentioning people’s names lightly. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 11195: He committed adultery and his conscience is troubling him, and he wants to get rid of the foetus Question: I a Moslem single person, who lives in the USA. I committed adultery many times with the same woman. Now, the women is pregnant. I would like to know if I can marry her in order to solve the problem (I mean cover the scandal)so the baby will find a father and gets the name. Actually, unfortunately, I would prefer abortion and I wish to convince her to do that, but don’t know if this is considered killing a person. If so, I would feel guilty because of that. I believe the embryo is about 6-8 weeks. Please I need your help as soon as possible, Jazak Allah Khair. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly, my brother in Islam, I offer you my condolences for the faith that you lost during the times when you were committing adultery. For the Prophet (peace and blessings 257

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of Allaah be upon him) said: “When an adulterer commits illegal sexual intercourse, then he is not a believer at the time he is doing it, and when a drinker of an alcoholic liquor drinks it, then he is not a believer at the time of drinking it, and when a thief steals, then he is not a believer at the time of stealing, and when a robber robs, and the people look at him, then he is not a believer at the time of doing robbery.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 2475) Have you not read what your Lord says in His Book? “And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to Hell unless Allaah forgives him)” [al-Israa’ 17:32 – interpretation of the meaning] Do you not know that Allaah sees you wherever you are, and He hears you when you speak? Do you not remember the great blessings that Allaah has bestowed upon you? For He is the One Who heals you when you are sick, the One Who feeds you when you are hungry and gives you to drink when you are thirsty. And He has given you the greatest blessing that He has bestowed upon mankind, the blessing of Islam. “Is there any reward for good – other than good?” [al-Rahmaan 55:60 – interpretation of the meaning] My brother, ask yourself, Whose dominion do you live under? Whose provision do you eat from? By Whose command do you live? Is it not the dominion of Allaah, the provision of Allaah, the command of Allaah? So how can you disobey Allaah? Perhaps you have forgotten the hadeeth of the Mi’raaj, in 258

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which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “… then we proceeded and came to something like a tannoor (a kind of oven).” [The narrator] said: “I think he said, ‘in which there were clamouring voices.’” He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] said: “We looked into it and there we saw naked men and women. Flames were coming to them from the bottom of it, and when the flames reached them, they made an uproar. I said to them [i.e., the two angels who were accompanying him], ‘Who are these?’ They said, ‘Proceed, proceed!’… I said to them, ‘I have seen strange things this night. What is this that I have seen?’ They said, ‘We will tell you…. The naked men and women in the structure that resembled a tannoor oven are the adulterers and adulteresses.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari in Baab Ithm al-Zunaat, no. 7047). So you must hasten to repent sincerely before death overtakes you, for the gate of repentance is open until the sun rises from the west or before the soul reaches the throat [at death]. Allaah rejoices over the repentance of His slave, and He will change his bad deeds (sayi’aat) into good deeds (hasanaat). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah 259

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will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is OftForgiving, Most Merciful. And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allaah with true repentance [al-Furqaan 25:68-71] Secondly, with regard to your question, “Do I have to marry her?”, this is the issue of the adulterer marrying the woman with whom he committed adultery. The answer is that it is not permissible for him (the adulterer) to marry her, or for her to marry him, until the label of adultery no longer applies to them. That label can only be removed through repentance. It is not permissible for you to marry her even if she is Jewish or Christian, because she is a zaaniyah (adulteress). Even if she is Muslim, it is not permissible for you to marry her because she is a zaaniyah. And it is not permissible for her to accept you as a husband because you are a zaani (adulterer). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress – fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicator or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer — fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer — fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism)”[al-Noor 24:3] 260

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The phrase “Such a thing is forbidden to the believers” indicates that this marriage is forbidden. “It is essential that both of you repent to Allaah, give up this sin, regret the evil actions that have occurred in the past, resolve not to return to them, and do many righteous deeds, so that Allaah may accept your repentance and turn your bad deeds (sayi’aat) into good deeds (hasanaat). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is OftForgiving, Most Merciful. And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allaah with true repentance’ [al-Furqaan 25:68-71] If you want to marry her, you have to be sure that she is not pregnant by waiting to see if she menstruates before you do so. If it becomes apparent that she is pregnant, it is not permissible for you to marry her until after she delivers the baby, in accordance with the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), in which he forbade a man to use his water to irrigate the crops of another.” (Fatwas of the Standing Committee in al-Buhooth alIslamiyyah magazine, vol. 9, p. 72) 261

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Thirdly, you say, “so the baby will find a father and gets the name” This is the matter of attributing the child of adultery: who is he to be named after? The answer is that the majority of scholars said that the child of adultery should not be named after the adulterer, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The child goes to the owner of the bed and the adulterer gets nothing but the stones (despair, i.e., to be stoned to death).” (Agreed upon. Al-Bukhaari 2053; Muslim, 1457. AlMughni by Ibn Qudaamah, vol. 7, p. 129) Fourthly, you say, that you would prefer the woman to get rid of the baby. This is the issue of abortion, and the ruling on that is as stated in the report of the Committee of Senior Scholars (Hay’at Kibaar al-‘Ulamaa’), no. 140, dated 20/6/1407 AH, which is as follows: “1 – It is not permissible to abort the pregnancy at any of its various stages except for a legitimate shar’i reason, and within very narrow limits. 2 – If the pregnancy is in the first stage, which is forty days, and aborting it will serve a legitimate shar’i interest or ward off some harm, then it is permissible to abort it. But aborting it at this stage for fear of difficulty in bringing up children or in providing for them or teaching them, or fear for their future, or because the couple feel that they have enough children – this is not permitted. 3 – It is not permissible to abort the pregnancy once it has become an ‘alaqah (clot) or mudghah (chewed lump of flesh) [i.e., after 40 days’ gestation] unless a trustworthy medical committee has stated that allowing the pregnancy to continue poses a danger to the health of the mother, such that there is the fear that she will die if the pregnancy continues. In this case it is permissible to abort the 262

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pregnancy, after exhausting all other means of trying to ward off that danger. After the third stage, and after the completion of four months of pregnancy, it is not permissible for you to abort the pregnancy unless a group of trustworthy specialist doctors decide that leaving the foetus in his mother’s womb will lead to the death of the mother; this is after exhausting all possible means of keeping the foetus alive. Performing an abortion subject to these conditions is permitted in order to ward off the greater of the two harms, and to preserve the greater of the two interests.” (Quoted from al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah, vol. 3, p. 1055) We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound and to accept our repentance. May Allaah bless our prophet Muhammad. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 11078: There is nothing wrong with calling a girl Meera Question: My husband likes the name “Meera” a lot,and wants to give this name to our daughter in future.Is that name allowed in Islam?Please guide us Answer: Praise be to Allaah. “Meera” in Arabic means “food”, so there is nothing 263

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wrong with using this name. Please also see Question no. 7180 concerning the etiquette of giving names. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 11368: Does a name have any effect on a person’s character? Question: my question has to do with my name. somwhere on the site i read that the names of “suras” or “ angels” are not meant to be used as names for naming someone. i want to know if that is correct. the second part of my question is: does the name affect the character of a person, if so, how? someone told me, change your name....etc it could be good for u...is this true? if yes give me a few original names that are forgotten or not used anymore( with good meaning). Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There is nothing wrong with giving names that do not have bad meanings and which have good meanings but do not imply excessive praise of the one who is so called. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did change some names because they were ugly or because they had bad meanings. 264

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A name does not have any effect on a person’s character, apart from reflecting optimism for him. On this basis, one should give one’s children good names and not give bad names. So we should use names like ‘Abd-Allaah (“slave of Allaah”), ‘Abd al-Rahmaan (“slave of the Most Merciful”), Muhammad, Ahmad, etc., and we should not use names which have bad meanings, such as Sa’b (difficult), etc. Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr . (www.islamqa.com) 12350: Is it permissible to use the name ‘Uzayr/Uzair? Question: I have 7 months old son and we keep his name “UZAIR”. somebody told us it is Jues name but i heard that it is in the quaran Answer: Praise be to Allaah. ‘Uzayr is a Jewish name but it is mentioned in the Qur’aan in the context of condemning the Jews, when Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And the Jews say: ‘Uzayr (Ezra) is the son of Allaah, and the Christians say: Messiah is the son of Allaah. That is their saying with their mouths…” [al-Tawbah 9:30] Al-Haafiz ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Bidaayah wa’l-Nihaayah: “The well known view is that ‘Uzayr was one of the Prophets of the Children of Israel.” On this basis there is nothing wrong with calling 265

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him ‘Uzayr, so long as there is no inclination of the heart towards the Jews, and so long as one is not influenced by them because of being their neighbour. The scholarly differences as to whether ‘Uzayr was actually a Prophet or not are well known. Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr . (www.islamqa.com) 9142: He intended to give his son a certain name; is there any blame on him if he changes the name? Question: My Brother’s family was blessed with baby boy and he made a niyat that he would name him AbdulMateen before he was born, but he was born he told the name to my father but he said he wanted to keep something else and he is very angry on him by keeping this name can you advise should he listen to my father or should he keep the name that he made niyat for is there anything wrong if he doesnot keep the name according to the niyat?. I heard that if you make a niyat and break it you should fast for 3 days or give food to the poor for some days. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. An intention which is not expressed is not a vow or an oath, so there are no consequences for your brother if he gives his son another good name to honour his father. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 266

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9994: Ruling on giving names from aayahs of the Qur’aan Question: Some people call their children by names from aayahs of the Qur’aan, such as Afnaan and Aalaa, etc. What is your opinion? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There is nothing wrong with that, for these are created things. Aalaa’ means blessings and Afnaan means branches. People have started to look for more variety in names and are looking for new names for their sons and daughters. Kitaab Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-‘Allaamah ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 9, p. 417 (www.islam-qa.com) 12625: Using the word “Sayyid” Question: We often use the word “Sayyid” when addressing one another, for people whose ancestry can be traced to a particular family. Is it OK to do this? [Translator’s note: the word “Sayyid” literally means “master”; it is used as a title of respect for descendants of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and others; it is sometimes used as an equivalent of the English “Mister” or “Sir”] 267

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Answer: If a person is known by this title, there is nothing wrong with that, because the word “Sayyid” may be used for the leader of a people, or for a faqeeh or scholar, or for those who are descended from Faatimah through the children of al-Hasan and al-Husayn. All of these are forms of address which are well known among the people. The Arabs used to call tribal leaders and elders “Sayyid” (e.g. Sayyid Bani Foolaan – the leader of such-and-such tribe, etc). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used this word, when he asked some of the Arabs, “Who is your leader (sayyid), O Banu So-and-so? Who is your leader (sayyid), O Banu So-and-so?”, i.e., who is your chief? And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said concerning al-Hasan, “This son of mine is a sayyid and perhaps Allaah will reconcile two great groups of Muslims through him.” It is disliked (makrooh) to address a person as Ya sayyidi (O my master) or Yaa sayyidanaa (O our master), because when it was said to the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “You are our master,” he said, “The Master is Allaah, may He blessed and exalted”; and because this may make him conceited and proud. So we should not do that. Instead we should say, “O So and so” or “So Abu (father of) So and so,” using the names, kunyas (Abu So and so, etc.) and nicknames which are known. With regard to using the phrases “Yaa Sayyidi” and “Yaa Sayyidanaa” when addressing one another, it is better not to do that. Saying “Sayyid” to a munaafiq or kaafir is not permissible, because of the hadeeth, “Do not say ‘Sayyidanaa’ to a munaafiq, because if he is really your master then you have angered your Lord.” (Narrated by Ahmad, Abu Dawood and al-Nasaa’i; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 7405, p. 1234) 268

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And Allaah knows best. Kitaab Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-‘Allaamah ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 9, p. 290 (www.islam-qa.com) 5967: His parents admitted to him that he was conceived in zinaa. Whose name should he take? Question: My parents conceived me from zina.Whose name do I take and who are my people? Jazakallah khairyn Answer: Praise be to Allaah. We addressed this question to Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen, who wrote back to us with the following response: The correct view is that there is no sin on the child of zinaa because of the sin of his parents, because he did not do anything wrong. The (burden of) sin is on his parents. On this basis, he can call himself after his father who has acknowledged his paternity, so that he can prove that he belongs to him and his state (in official papers). Or he can call himself after his mother who gave birth to him, because this is his line of descent; then he will belong to her tribe and state. He should also do righteous deeds and be upright in his conduct and commitment to Islam. What his parents did should not cause him any harm. A person who is hindered by his bad deeds will not be helped by his lineage [i.e., a person’s origins do not count for anything if his actions are bad]. And Allaah knows best. Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen (www.islam-qa.com) 269

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638: Changing one’s lineage in order to obtain nationality of a state for certain benefits Question: What is the ruling on a person changing his lineage in order to obtain nationality of a country for certain benefits? For example, a man might claim to be the child or brother of an uncle or other relative who holds the desired nationality, so as to obtain that nationality and all the benefits etc. that come with it, even though he has a nationality and proper documents of his own, and has no problems as such; he is only doing this to serve some materialistic interests. What is the ruling on this action? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. This action is haraam. It is not permissible for a person to claim to belong to anyone other than his father, because this leads to further lies, and has an impact on matters of inheritance, who is considered to be a mahram, and all other issues that have to do with lineage. Thus the texts issue stern warnings to those who claim to belong to anyone other than their fathers. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever claims to belong to anyone other than his father… on him will be the curse of Allaah and the angels and all the people.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, 2599; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6104). This action is also a major sin comprised of two major sins, lying in order to consume wealth unlawfully and claiming to belong to someone other than one’s father. This person has to go back to what is true, and give up the nationality he aquired improperly. He should go back 270

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to using his proper documents that prove his real lineage. This is obligatory upon him. I am astounded that anyone would do such a thing for worldly gains. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Whoever wishes for the quick-passing (transitory enjoyment of this world), We readily grant him what We will for whome We like. Then, afterwards, We have appointed for him Hell, he will burn therein disgraced and rejected, (- far away from Allaah’s Mercy).” [al-Isra’ 17:18] The one who does this had to repent to Allaah, and “Allaah has forgiven what is past” [al-Maa’idah 5:95 – interpretation of the meaning]. With regard to whatever money he has taken as a result of having that nationality, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)”… So whoever receives an admonition from his Lord and stops eating riba [usury] shall not be punished for the past…” [al-Baqarah 2:275]. This aayah is speaking about the one who consumes riba (interest or usury), so it applies even more in the case of lesser sins. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 10345: He wants to call his son or daughter ‘Arafaah or Mina Question: INSHALLAH MY WIFE WILL GIVE BIRTH EITHER TO BOY OR GIRL IN THE END OF APRIL.IS THEIR ANY SITE OF GOOD ISLAMIC NAMES.IF YES PLEASE GIVE THE ADDRESS OF THAT SITE. CAN 271

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WE HAVE A NAME “MINA”(HAJ PLACE IN SAUDI ARABIA) OF GIRL OR “NIMRA”( NAME OD MOSQUE) IN SAUDI ARABIA. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There is an excellent book by Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd, entitled Tasmiyat al-Mawlood (Naming your Newborn), in which he mentions important matters that have to do with this topic, as well as listing names. What we advise you to do is to look for names that are liked in Islam, such as ‘Abd-Allaah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan, and other names of male and female Sahaabah, or names that are known to the Arabs. Such names are many, and there is no need to invent new names which may lead to a man doing something wrong without realizing it. Shaykh Sa’d al-Humayd It is indeed strange that a man would choose the names of places of worship or places where rituals are performed, as names for his children. If we were to go along with this idea, we would say, call your daughters Makkah, Muzdalifah and ‘Arafaah! Do not do this; instead choose well known names that are Islamically acceptable, such as the names that the Sahaabah, the salaf (early generations) and the scholars gave to their children. May Allaah bless us and you with righteous children, for He is the one who hears our prayers. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 11228: Ruling on calling a child Malaak Question: Second question: is it permissible to give a girl the name Malaak? 272

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is better not to name one’s daughter Malaak, for two reasons: 1. The meaning of Malaak is malak (angel). There is an element of exaggeration in giving this name to a person. 2. It is a name which is well known among the Christians, and it is (Arab) Christians who pronounce the word malak as Malaak. There are many good names in which there is no element of doubt concerning them, and those names should be used in stead of names which are problematic or doubtful. Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Baraak (www.islam-qa.com) 10030: Is it permissible to use the name Qaasim? Question: I would simply like to know if it permissable to name your child “Qaasim” or “Al-Qaasim”. I have read the hadeeth that prohibits its use but at the same time, I have seen somewhere the kunya “Abul Qaasim” used by scholars of old. Please clarify this for me as I am expecting a child in the next few months (inshaa-Allaah). Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Using the names Qaasim and Muhammad, and the nicknames Abu’l-Qaasim, Abu ‘Eesa and other permissible names and nicknames, is allowed and there 273

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is nothing wrong with it, after the death of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The prohibition of using his name and his nickname together applied only during his lifetime (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The reason why the prohibition was narrated indicates the reason why this was restricted to his lifetime (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Hence you find scholars of earlier and later times called Muhammad and using the nickname Abu’l-Qaasim, without anyone denouncing them. Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd said in his book Mu’jam alManaafi al-Lafziyyah: It was reported that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “A son was born to a man among us, and he named him Qaasim. We said, ‘We will definitely not give you the nickname of Abu’l-Qaasim.’ He told the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about that, and he said, ‘Call your son ‘Abd al-Rahmaan.’ (narrated by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh).” (Mu’jam al-Manaahi al-Lafziyyah by Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd, p. 433) (www.islam-qa.com) 7180: Etiquette of naming children Question: I want to give my son a name. What is the Islamic guidelines on this? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 274

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No doubt the matter of giving names is one of the most important issues in people’s lives, because a person’s name is a title which says something about him, and is essential for communicating with him. It is an adornment and symbol for the person, by which he is called in this world and in the Hereafter. It is indicative of the religion to which he belongs, and makes him feel that he is one of the followers of that religion. It gives an impression of him to other people, and in their view it is like a garment – if it is too long or too short, it does not look right. The basic principle concerning names is that they are permissible, but there are some matters which are prohibited according to sharee’ah and should be avoided when choosing names. These include the following: - Enslavement to or worship of anything other than Allaah, including Prophets and angels. It is not permissible to be enslaved to or to worship anyone or anything other than Allaah at all. Among the names which express enslavement to or worship of anything other than Allaah are ‘Abd al-Rasool (“slave of the Messenger”), ‘Abd alNabi (“slave of the Prophet”) and ‘Abd al-Ameer (slave of the prince) and other names which imply worship of or submission to anything other than Allaah. The person who has a name like this must change it. The great Sahaabi ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: My name was ‘Abd ‘Amr – or according to one report, ‘Abd al-Ka’bah – and when I became Muslim, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called me ‘Abd al-Rahmaan. (Narrated by al-Haakim, 3/306. Al-Dhahabi agreed with him) - Names of Allaah which are befitting only for Him, may He be glorified, such as al-Khaaliq (the Creator), al-Raaziq (the Provider), al-Rabb (the Lord), al-Rahmaan (the Most Merciful), etc., which are names that befit only Allaah; names which describe attributes which are true only of 275

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Allaah, such as Malik al-Mulook (King of kings), alQaahir (the Subduer), etc. It is haraam to call people by these names, and they must be changed. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Do you know of any who is similar to Him?” [Maryam 19:65]. - Names that belong exclusively to the kuffaar and are not used by anyone else, such as ‘Abd al-Maseeh (“slave of the Messiah”), Butrous (Peter), Jurjus (George), and other names which denote religions of kufr. - Names of idols and false gods which are worshipped instead of Allaah, such as naming someone after a devil and so on. It is not permissible to call people after the names referred to above; indeed, doing so is haraam and anyone who has such a name is obliged to change it. - It is makrooh (disliked) to use names which have offputting meanings, either because the meaning is ugly or because it will provoke others to make fun of the person. Such names also go against the teaching of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who commanded us to give beautiful names. Examples of such (objectionable) names include Harb (“war”), Rashaash (sprinkles or drizzle), and Hiyaam – which is the name of a disease suffered by camels – and other names which have ugly or unpleasant meanings. - It is makrooh to use names which have alluring or provocative meanings. This happens a lot when it comes to naming girls, where some names are given which have sexual or provocative meanings. - It is makrooh to deliberately name someone after immoral people such as singers and actors/actresses, etc. 276

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If they have good names, it is permissible to use those names, but it must be because of the meaning of the name and not because of the desire to imitate those people. - It is makrooh to give names which have meanings that refer to sin, such as Saariq (“thief”) or Zaalim (“wrongdoer”); or to give the names of Pharaohs or sinners, such as Fir’awn (Pharaoh), Haamaan (the name of Pharaoh’s minister) and Qaaroon. - It is makrooh to use the names of animals which are well-known for their undesirable characteristics, such as al-Himaar (donkey), al-Kalb (dog), al-Qird (monkey), etc. - It is makrooh to use any name which is added to the words “al-Deen” or “al-Islam” (i.e., names which appear in idaafah – genitive construction – with these words), such as Noor al-Deen (“light of the religion”), Shams alDeen (“sun of the religion”), Noor al-Islam (“light of Islam”), Shams al-Islam (“sun of Islam”), etc., because these names give a person more than he deserves. The scholars of the Salaf disliked being given nicknames of this sort. Imaam al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) disliked his nickname of Muhiy al-Deen (“reviver of the religion”); Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) also disliked his nickname of Taqiy al-Deen (“piety of the religion”), and he used to say, “But my family gave me this nickname and it became well-known.” - It is makrooh to add any word to the name of Allaah except the word ‘Abd (slave), as in ‘Abd-Allaah (Abdullah). Example of this include Hasab-Allaah, Rahmat-Allaah (the mercy of Allaah), etc. It is similarly makrooh to add words to the word al-Rasool (the Messenger). - It is makrooh to use the names of angels, or to call people 277

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after the names of soorahs in the Qur’aan, such as Ta-Ha, Yaa-Seen, etc. These names are al-Huroof al-Muqatta’ah (letters which appear at the beginning of some soorahs; their meaning is known only to Allaah – Translator), they are not names of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). See Tuhfat al-Mawdood by Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him), p 109. These names are makrooh, and it is makrooh to give them to anyone. But if a person has been given such a name by his family, and he is grown up and it is difficult for him to change it, he does not have to do so. There are four categories of good names: The first (best) category is the names ‘Abd-Allaah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan. It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The most beloved of names to Allaah are ‘Abd-Allaah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan.” (Narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh, 1398). The second category is all the names which express enslavement to and worship of Allaah, such as ‘Abd alAzeez, ‘Abd al-Raheem, ‘Abd al-Malik, ‘Abd al-Ilaah, ‘Abd al-Salaam, etc. The third category is the names of Prophets and Messengers – may the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon them. Undoubtedly the best and greatest of them is our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him); the name Ahmad is also one of his names. Next come the names of the “Messengers of strong will” [cf. Al-Ahqaaf 46:35], namely Ibraaheem, Moosa, ‘Eesa and Nooh (may the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon 278

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them), then the rest of the Prophets - may the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon them. The fourth category is the names of righteous slaves of Allaah, above all the companions of our noble Prophet. It is mustahabb to use their names, following their example and hoping to reach a higher status. The fifth category is any other good name which has a proper and pleasant meaning. It is good to pay attention to a number of matters when giving names to our children, including the following: 1. Recognizing the fact that this name will stay with the person for his entire lifetime, and it could cause some embarrassment or problems for him which in turn could make him feel badly towards his father, mother or whoever gave him this name. 2. When looking at names in order to choose one, we should look at it from a number of angles. We should look at the name itself, and also think of how it will sound when this person is a child, a youth, an adult, an old man and a father, and how it will suit his father to be called “Abu” (Father of) So and so, and how it will suit his son to be called Son and so son of So and so, etc. 3. Choosing the name is the right of the father, because he is the one after whom the child will be named (son of, or daughter of…). But it is mustahabb for the father to involve the mother in the decision and to ask for her opinion as to whether she thinks the name is good, so that she will feel happy. 4. The child must be named after his father even if the father is deceased or divorced, etc., even if he does not take care of the child or see him at all. It is utterly haraam to name a child after anyone other than his father, except 279

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in one case, which is when the child is born as the result of adultery (Allaah forbid). In this case the child should be named after his mother and it is not permissible to name him after his father. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 6195: She doesn’t know her father’s name, so should she take her mother’s name? Question: I read that upon getting married a female should not change her last name to that of her husband because that is like claiming to belong to a family or someone that she doesn’t, and that she should keep her father’s last name. I understand that, but what do you do if you don’t know your father’s last name. Should you keep that name of your mother’s family? I currently have my mother’s family name. I plan to change my first name to an Islamic name, should I do the same for my last name? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is haraam for a person to call himself after anyone other than his father, or after people to whom he does not belong. This was stated in the saheeh hadeeth narrated from Abu Dharr, who heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “There is no one who knowingly calls himself after someone other than his father, but he is guilty of Kufr…” (Narrated by alBukhaari, 3371; Muslim, 61). 280

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According to the version narrated by al-Bukhaari: “who calls himself after people to whom he does not belong…” Falsely attributing a person to people he does not belong to results in violation of the laws of Mahram (close blood ties dictating who is and is not permissible for marriage), inheritance, custody, guardianship in marriage, etc. With regard to what should be done, we put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who answered as follows: She cannot take the name of anyone other than her family, and it is not permissible to do so. She has to change her name. If she does not know her father’s name or family, she can call herself by a general name such as Faatimah bint ‘AbdAllaah or Faatimah bint ‘Abd al-Rahmaan. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 6241: Why a woman should not take her husband’s surname Question: I have read your responses to the following questions 2537 and 4362 concerning a wife retaining her father’s name upon marriage. The Ayaat mentioned from Surah AlAhzaab states that adopted sons (and hence daughters?) should not be called as sons of the step-fathers. However, how exactly does this apply to a wife simply changing 281

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her name for marriage; as she is not actually claiming to belong to her husband, but just taking his name. If it is a question of lineage, I would appreciate specific references from the Qur’an and hadith. Thank you for your help and clarification. Jazak’Allah Khayr. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The effects of imitating the west in naming ourselves are many. One of them is the way in which people have got used to omitting the word ‘ibn’ (son of) or ‘ibnatu’ (daughter of) between their own names and the name of their fathers. The reason for this is, firstly, because some families have adopted children and given them their surname, so that the adopted child is called Foolaan Foolan [where ‘Foolaan (=So and so)’ stands for a name] and their real children are called Foolaan ibn Foolaan (So and so the son of So and so). Now in the fourteenth century AH, people have dropped the word ‘ibn’ or ‘ibnatu’ – which is unacceptable according to linguistics, custom and sharee’ah. May Allaah help us. Another effect is the habit of women taking their husband’s surnames. Originally, the woman is So and so the Daughter of So and so, not So and so the wife of So and so! Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah…” [al-Ahzaab 33:5]. As it is in this world, so it will also be in the Hereafter, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: 282

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“On the Day of Resurrection, each betrayer will have a banner raised beside him, and it will be said, this is the betrayer of So and so the son of So and so.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5709, and Muslim, 3265). Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd (may Allaah preserve him) said: This is one of the beauties of sharee’ah, because calling a person by his father’s name is more appropriate for knowing who is who and telling people apart. The father is the protector and maintainer of the child and his mother both inside and outside the home. This is why the father mixes with people in the marketplaces and takes risks by travelling to earn a halaal living and strive for their sakes. So the child is given the name of the father, not of the mother who is hidden away and who is one of those whom Allaah commanded (interpretation of the meaning): “And stay in your houses…” [al-Ahzaab 33:33] (Tasmiyat al-Mawlood, 30, 31). On the basis of the above, there is no blood tie between the husband and wife, so how can she take his surname as if she is part of the same lineage? Moreover, she may get divorced, or her husband may die, and she may marry another man. Will she keep changing her surname every time she marries another man? Furthermore, there are rulings attached to her being named after her father, which have to do with inheritance, spending and who is a mahram, etc. Taking her husband’s surname overlooks all that. The husband is named after his own father, and what does she have to do with the lineage of her husband’s father? This goes against common sense and true facts. The husband has nothing that makes him better than his wife so that she should take his surname, whilst he takes his father’s name. Hence everyone who has gone against this and taken her 283

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husband’s name should put matters right. We ask Allaah to put all the affairs of the Muslims right. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 6239: Naming a boy Abu Bakr Question: We are expecting our first baby. Al-HamduAllah. My husband is Arab. I am American. If we are given a boy, my husband wishes to name him Abu Bakr. I feel that this is a most beautiful name. However, I am not well versed in Arabic. It has been my understanding that the word Abu refers to “Father Of” for example: Abu Nuh, Father of Nuh. If we are to name our child Abu Bakr, Would this mean that he is the “Father of Bakr?” Did this most wonderful companion of the Prophet (PBUH) go by any other names? I have her the name Siddiq. Are there others. Is this name appropriate for a child? Please forgive my ignorance. Also, the sound of the name may play some part with me as I am American. This can be overcome however. I only wish to do what is pleasing to Allah (SWT) and His Messenger. Also, I wish to please my husband and not cause him trouble with this. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The full name of Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq (may Allaah be pleased with him) was ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Amr al-Qurashi. His father’s kunyah was Abu Quhaafah. 284

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The kunyah is a nickname which starts with Abu (father of) or Umm (mother of). It usually includes the name of the oldest son. It may also be just a nickname, as in the example given in the question, since Abu Bakr did not have any child whose name was Bakr. The nickname may be given because of something that is unique to that person, such as Abu Hurayrah (lit. father of the kitten). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave him this nickname because he would often carry a cat or kitten with him. Another example is the nickname Abu Turaab (father of dust) which was the kunyah of ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave him this nickname when he saw him with dust on his back and shoulders. Therefore there is no reason why you cannot give your child the nickname of Abu Bakr, not as a name. It is well known that Abu Bakr’s real name was ‘AbdAllaah. Although it was reported that his name was ‘Ateeq, the correct view is that this was one of his attributes (‘Ateeq = freed, i.e., from the Fire). (Al‘Istee’aab by Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr, 8/963; al-Isaabah, 4/170171). Among his children were: ‘Abd-Allaah, ‘Abd alRahmaan, Muhammad, ‘Aa’ishah, Asmaa’ and Umm kalthoom. If you were to name your son ‘Abd-Allaah – because this is the most beloved of names to Allaah – and give him the nickname of Abu Bakr because it is Sunnah to give young children such nicknames in order to make them feel grown up and responsible, this would be an ideal solution. May Allaah help us and you to do all that is good. 285

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Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 5434: Meaning of the name Sameer Question: My son’s name is SAMEER I want to know the Quranic and or islamic meaning of Sameer. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Sameer is derived from the root samara, which means to talk or chat in the evening or at night. It is associated with the idea of night and day, because one may talk or chat during both. It was also said that sameer means time or age, which are also associated with the idea of night and day. As-Sihaah by al—Zuhri (2/688), meanings of samara. (www.islam-qa.com) 4362: Woman taking her husband’s surname after marriage Question: i was just browsing this site and I came across ur answer to the question 2537 which deals with changing surnames 286

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of womens.. as u said it is haraam... can u plz gimme a refrence from quran on that or a hadith if possilbe..? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It seems that what is meant in the question is a woman changing her family name to that of her husband after she gets married. This is haraam and is not allowed in sharee’ah, because it is not permissible for anyone to claim to belong to anyone other than his or her father. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah…” [al-Ahzaab 33:5]. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has cursed the one who claims to belong to someone other than his father.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad and others). And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 3231: His name is Rasheed. Does he have to change it? Question: My question is very Important as it is very disturbing. my name is rasheed . A brother told me that it is “Kufr” to be named rasheed and he backed his statement with the statement of an “aalim”. Please let me know if this is true and if so what the proof is. JazakaLlahu Khairun. 287

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There is nothing wrong with a person being called Rasheed , just as there is nothing wrong with being called Saalih [righteous], Khaalid [eternal] or Maalik [owner]. They are merely names. If a person is called, for example, Lateef [kind] or Hakeem [wise], this is permissible although Allaah is al-Lateef, al-Hakeem. The person who is called Lateef or Hakeem is not like the Creator, may He be glorified, Who is called al-Lateef al-Hakeem. Both the Creator and His creation may be wise or kind or gentle, or own things, in a manner that befits each of them. However, there are names that are befitting only for Allaah, and it is not permissible for a human being to be called by them, such as al-Raaziq (the Provider), al-Baari’ (the Evolver). And Allaah is the source of strength. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 3093: Should she change her name after becoming Muslim so that she can go for Hajj? Question: I married a muslim man 6 years ago and converted to Islam I was planning to go for Umra but I have heard that I cannot go because I still use my christian name which is XXXX . This name is on my passport and all other documents, although I have a muslim name also which is XXXX . 288

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Please advise me wether or not I have to legally change my name before applying for Umra or Haj. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. From the point of view of sharee’ah, the validity of a person’s Hajj or ‘Umrah has nothing to do with their name. So long as there is no haraam meaning in your old name, it is permissible for you to keep it, although using an Arabic name that has an acceptable meaning is better. (See Question #1692). From the official point of view, when you go to the embassy to apply for the Hajj entry visa, it should be sufficient for you to take a certificate from the Islamic centre proving that you have embraced Islam; in sha Allaah there should be nothing to prevent you from coming to perform Hajj. You should hasten to do Hajj and ‘Umrah as soon as possible, accompanied by a Muslim mahram (husband, or close relative to whom marriage is permanently forbidden). And Allaah is the source of strength. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 2413: Giving the name Hessa to a baby girl Question: I am having a baby in 3 weeks, on the net I found a muslim name listed as Hessa (female) and the meaning was discribed as ‘destiny’. I have asked many people about this name and no was seems to have heard of it... 289

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My quesstion is, if it is in fact a proper name is the meaning correct and would it be an appropriate name? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. In Lisaan al-‘Arab [a famous Arabic-language dictionary], Ibn Manzoor says concerning the root ha-sa-sa: “Hissah means a share of food, drink, land, etc. The plural is hisas… ‘haassahu’ means ‘he shared it out, and everyone took his share of it.’” If you and your husband wish to name your daughter Hessa, there is nothing wrong with doing so. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 2613: When calling an illegitimate child after his mother will cause harm Question: As-Salaamu Alaikum Ya noble Shaikh, I have a question in regards to one of your answers. I have a first name followed by the first and last name of my father, unfortunately I was born out of wedlock. My mother wasn’t muslim at this time 25 years ago, but has just become muslim this year(Al hamdu lillah). My question is would I still have to change my name to my mothers first name and family name even though when she did this sin she had never heard about Islam. Wouldn’t this cause people to slander her and cause people to disrespect my mother and myself? Whatever is the right 290

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thing to do I submit to Allah Ta’ala. Please answer this question it is very important to me and my mother. May Allah bless you for teaching people the Deen you have helped me tremendously through your answers and kind words. JazakAllah Khair Wa Salaamu alaikum! Answer: Praise be to Allaah. In this case you do not have to call yourself after your mother so long as this will cause embarrassment and pain. It is sufficient for you to add any other names you may choose to your name, so long as you do not keep the name of the man who fathered you out of wedlock. So for example you could call yourself Ibraaheem ibn ‘AbdAllaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan, or Yoosuf ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Hammaam, and so on. May Allaah bless us and you with strength and goodness. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 2537: It is haraam for a wife to take her husband’s name Question: As-salamu Alaikum, Many sisters in our community have taken the names of their husbands without realizing that they should have kept their father’s name. Should they change their name back to the father’s name or is it allowed to keep the husband’s name? 291

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Also, if a person is born out-of-wedlock, should they carry their father’s last name or their mother’s last name? What is the evidence for this? Jazak Allah Khair. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permitted for anyone to claim to belong to anyone other than his father. Imitating the kuffaar by dropping the wife’s surname and giving her the husband’s name is haraam; it is also a form of falsehood, and humiliation of the woman. Anyone who has done this must repent to Allaah and put it right by going back to her father’s name. With regard to a child born out of wedlock, he should be given his mother’s name and cannot be given the name of the adulterer. (For more information, see Question #1942 and 284). Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 284: How a new Muslim should change his name Question: I was given the name Tyrone Anthony Parker at birth by my non-muslims parents. After taking shahada, I changed my name to Bilaal Faaruwq Abdus-Salaam. I have recently found out that I shouldn’t have left my family name and I plan on returning to it. If my parents tell me to return to my given name (Tyrone-has pagan origins ; Anthonymeans flourishing) do I have to do it? 292

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. For the one whom Allaah has guided to Islam, it is sufficient for him to choose an Islamic first name for himself and to keep his father’s name or surname, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not command the Sahaabah to change their fathers’ and grandfathers’ names when they embraced Islam. However, he did change the first names of those who had names with forbidden or undesirable meanings. Because your first name has pagan origins, your changing it to another name, such as Bilaal, is proper and correct. But you should keep the rest of your name and surname as it is; this will please your parents. May Allah guide them, and may He give us and you strength. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 1041: A girl calling the one who is taking care of her “Abi” (“My Father” or “Daddy”) Question: Is it permissable for a child to call her stepfather Abu or Abi as long as she knows who her real father is, and she carried her real father’s name? Her real father is muslim, but she calls him daddy, and for the sake of unity in the home, we want her to call her stepfather Abi like the others do. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 293

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Before answering this question, it will be useful to shed more light on the issue of adoption and giving a child a name or lineage that is not really his. In Islam, adoption (i.e., giving your name to a child who is not yours) is haraam, and is considered to be a major sin because of the wrongdoing and corruption that result from it. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah…” [al-Ahzaab 33:5]. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever claims knowingly to belong to someone other than his father will be denied Paradise.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari and Muslim, Fath, no. 3982). He also said: “Whoever claims to belong to someone other than his father, will be cursed by Allaah, the angels and all the people, and Allaah will not accept any deeds or excuses from him on the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, no. 2433). In his commentary on this hadeeth, al-Nawawi said: “This is clearly stating the emphatic prohibition of claiming to belong to anyone other than one’s real father… because this involves ingratitude and a denial of the rights of inheritance, as well as cutting family ties and undutifulness to parents.” (al-Nawawi’s statement ends). It also involves not carrying out the rules of inheritance, and ignoring the prohibited degrees of marriage to women [i.e. a man may unknowingly marry someone he is not permitted to, such as a sister, when true origins are concealed by not calling a child after his real father translator’s note], etc. If a man wants to sponsor an orphan, the child must still be named after his father, if his name is known; it is not permissible to attribute this child to himself by giving 294

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him his name. If the child’s real origins are not known, then he should be given an appropriate name by which he may be known to others, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah. But if you know not their father’s (names, call them) your brothers in faith …” [al-Ahzaab 33:5] In answer to your question, which has to do with a girl for example - addressing the one who is sponsoring her and bringing her up as “Father” or “Daddy,” Shaykh ‘Abd al-’Azeez ibn Baaz has issued a fatwa (ruling) stating that this is allowed, because he is acting in the position of a father to her, and we should not be so strict in this matter. Note: If a man is sponsoring a very young girl (less than two years old) he should try to establish the relationship of mahram by letting her breastfeed from his wife, mother or sister, so that she will become his mahram, otherwise he has to make sure that she does not uncover (take off her hijaab) in front of him when she grows up. The exception to this is a step-daughter (his wife’s daughter from a previous marriage); she does not have to wear hijaab in front of her mother’s husband even if no relationship is established through breastfeeding (alradaa’). Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 1942: Taking a family name other than that of one’s father (or attributing oneself to someone other than one’s father) Question: A woman before becoming Muslim changed her last name 295

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from her family name to her husband’s. Now that she is Muslim, she is no longer married to that man. Also, she would like to formally change her name to a Muslim name to affirm her Islamic identity. She would like to also change her last name back to her family name, however, she would like to adopt her mother’s maiden name (maternal grand-father’s name) instead of her father’s name, since there is some conflict between them, and that she said he did not have much to do with her upbringing. Is it permissible for her to take her mother’s maiden name? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. This woman’s desire to take an Islamic name and to change her family name from that of her former husband is quite correct, but it is not permissible for her to call herself after anyone except her legitimate father – no matter what the reasons for wishing to do so. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Call them (adopted sons) by the names of their fathers…” [al-Ahzaab 33:5]. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever calls himself by other than his father’s name (or attributes himself to someone other than his father), will be cursed by Allaah, the angels and all the people.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, 2599; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6104). And Allaah is the Source of help. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 296

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1783: Calling oneself by one of Allaah’s names in ignorance Question: After embracing Islam, I ignorantly changed my name to one of Allah’s 99 names. It’s been a year and all my records reflect this name not to mention that everyone is accustomed to it. Am I burdened to officially put an Abdul infront of my name or can I just start verbally using it? Also, I was told that it was haram to change my name. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Some of Allaah’s names are also suitable for human beings and it is permissible to use them, so long as one distinguishes between the meaning applied to the Creator and the meaning applied to the created being, such as Kareem (generous), Lateef (kind), Shaheed (witness), Hakeem (wise), etc. Other Divine names may not be given to human beings because they are befitting only for Allaah, such as al-Baari’ (the Creator), al-Raaziq (the Provider), al-Muhyi (the Giver of Life), al-Awwal (the First), alAakhir (the Last), etc. If your name is of the first type, then there is nothing wrong with it. If it is of the second type, then putting the word “Abd” (slave of) in front of the name will solve the problem. May Allaah help us to adhere to the truth. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 297

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1692: Names whose use is forbidden Question: Are there any names which it is forbidden to use? If so, what are they? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Yes, there are names which we are forbidden to use, examples of which are as follows: It is forbidden to use any name which belongs only to Allaah, such as al-Khaaliq (the Creator) and al-Quddoos (the Most Holy), or names which do not befit any except Allaah, such as Malik al-Mulook (King of Kings). This is the consensus of the fuqaha’. Ibn al-Qayyim said that names which belong only to Allaah include: al-Ahad (the One), al-Samad (the Eternal), al-Khaaliq (the Creator), al-Razzaaq (the Provider), alJabbaar (the Compeller), al-Mutakabbir (the Majestic), al-Awwal (the First), al-Aakhir (the Last), al-Baatin (the Hidden) and ‘Allaam al-Ghuyoob (the Knower of the Unseen). (Tuhfat al-Mawdood, p. 98). The evidence that it is forbidden to call anyone by a name which belongs only to Allaah, such as Malik al-Mulook (king of kings), may be seen for example in the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him); in the version narrated by al-Bukhaari, he said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘The most despised name with Allaah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man called Malik al-Mulook.’” According to 298

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Muslim, he said, “The man who will most deserving of Allaah’s anger and most evil on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who was called Malik al-Amlaak. There is no King except Allaah.” As regards using names that may be used of Allaah or of others, it is permissible to use these names, such as ‘Ali (High), Rasheed (Guide) and Badee’ (Innovator or Originator). Ibn ‘Aabideen said: “It seems to be the case that they are permitted, even if the definite article ‘al’ is used.” AlHasafi said: “What (these names) mean concerning us (human beings) is different from their meanings concerning Allaah, may He be exalted.” It is forbidden to use names which befit no one except the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), such as Sayyid Walad Adam (master of the sons of Adam), Sayyid al-Naas (master of mankind), Sayyid al-Kull (master of all), because these names, as the Hanbalis said, befit no one except him, (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). It is forbidden to use any name which implies enslavement to anything besides Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, such as ‘Abd al-‘Uzza (slave of al-‘Uzza – a pagan goddess), ‘Abd al-Ka’bah (slave of the Ka’bah), ‘Abd al-Daar (slave of the House), ‘Abd ‘Ali (slave of ‘Ali), ‘Abd al-Husayn (slave of Husayn), etc. It was stated in Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen that one should not be called ‘Abd foolaan (slave of so-and-so). It says in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa’: “They (the scholars) agreed that every name which implies enslavement to anything other than Allaah is forbidden, such as ‘Abd al‘Uzza, ‘Abd ‘Amr, ‘Abd ‘Ali, ‘Abd al-Ka’bah, and any other similar names, such as ‘Abd al-Nabi (slave of the 299

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Prophet), ‘Abd al-Husayn, ‘Abd al-Maseeh (slave of the Messiah).” (Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen, 5/268;Mughni alMuhtaaj, 4/295; Tuhfat al-Muhtaaj, 10/373; Kashshaaf al-Qinaa’, 3/27; Tuhfat al-Mawdood, p. 90). The evidence that it is forbidden to use any name which implies enslavement to anything other than Allaah may be seen in the report of Ibn Abi Shaybah from Yazeed ibn al-Miqdaam ibn Shurayh, from his father, from his grandfather Haani’ ibn Yazeed, may Allaah be pleased with him, who said: “A delegation came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he heard them calling someone ‘Abd al-Hajar (slave of the stone). He asked him, ‘What is your name?” and he said, “Abd al-Hajar.’ He said, ‘No, you are ‘Abd-Allaah (the slave of Allaah).’” (Al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 11/335). Using the names of idols that are worshipped instead of Allaah. Using foreign names, such as Turkish, Persian, Berber, etc. names, that have no origin in the Arabic language. It is forbidden to use the names of devils (shayaateen), such as Khanzab, al-Walhaan, al-A’war and al-Ajda’. It was reported that the Sunnah is to change names such as these. Names that are makrooh (disliked) may be categorized as follows: It is makrooh to use names that have bad or distasteful meanings, or which sound odd, which would cause others to mock a person or would cause him embarrassment, in addition to being contrary to the guidance of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who taught us to choose good names. It is makrooh to use names whose meanings are too soft 300

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and provocative or sexy, which is a widespread problem in the naming of girls. It is makrooh to deliberately name someone after promiscuous actors and singers who star in worthless entertainment shows. One of the signs of empty-headedness and lack of pride in one’s faith is the fact that after a show starring immoral women, people will compete with one another in naming their newborns after these women. Anyone who checks the names registered at the time of one of these shows will see that this is a fact. And our complaining is to Allaah. It is makrooh to use names that convey any sense of sin and disobedience to Allaah. It is makrooh to use foreign names that belong only to the kuffaar. The proud Muslim who is content with his religion will avoid this and not come anywhere near it. The temptation to use these names is very strong in our time, and a Muslim might pick up any name from Europe and America. This is the worst type of sin and a sign of humiliation and defeat. If this imitation of the kuffaar and using their names is merely the matter of whims and stupidity, it is nevertheless a major sin; if it is done because one actually believes these names are better than Muslim names, then this is a devastating blow to the foundation of faith. In either case, the person who has done this must hasten to repent, and changing the name is a condition of repentance. It is makrooh to use the names of Pharaohs or other tyrants. It is makrooh to use names that have any undesirable meaning. 301

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It is makrooh to name people after animals that are known for their bad qualities. When the Arabs called their children by such names, it was because of good qualities that they noticed in them, and this was the desired meaning. So when they used the name Kalb (dog), it was because of the dog’s alertness and ability to work hard; when they used the name Himaar (donkey), it was because of the donkey’s patience and forbearance, and so on… This refutes the false arguments of the Shu’oobiyyah against the Arabs, as was explained by Ibn Durayd, Ibn Faaris, and others. It is makrooh to use any name which is composed of any word added to such words as al-Deen (the Religion) or Islam, such as Noor al-Deen/Nuruddin (Light of the Religion), Diya’ al-Deen/Ziauddin (Brightness of the Religion), Sayf al-Islam (Sword of Islam), Noor al-Islam (Light of Islam), etc. This is because of the great status attached to these words, al-Deen and Islam. Adding words to them to form names is an exaggeration which borders on lying, which is why some scholars said that this is haraam, and the majority say that it is makrooh, because it gives an incorrect impression which should not be given. The way this practice started was that these were titles which were added to people’s names, then people started to use them as names. Names of this sort may be forbidden for two reasons. In a name such as Shihaab al-Deen, for example, the word Shihaab means a flame, which comes from fire, then this is added to the word al-Deen (which is inappropriate). This can lead to the use of strange names, as in Indonesia, where people use names such as Dhahab al-Deen (gold of the Religion) and Maas al-Deen (diamond of the Religion)! Imaam al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him), use to dislike being called by his nickname Muhiy al-Deen, 302

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and Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) used to dislike being called by his nickname Taqiy al-Deen, and he said, “But my family gave me this nickname, so I am known by it.” It is makrooh to use names that are composed of two parts, and this includes names which include the name of Allaah, with the exception of the name ‘Abd-Allaah (slave of Allaah), which is one of the most beloved names to Allaah. Names which include the word al-Rasool (the Messenger) are also makrooh. Some of the scholars regarded using the names of angels (peace be upon them) as makrooh. Giving angels’ names to women is clearly haraam, because it implies imitation of the mushrikeen, who thought that the angels were the daughters of Allaah. Exalted be He above what they say! Some of the scholars thought that it was makrooh to give people the names of Soorahs of the Qur’aan, such as TaHa, Yaa-Seen, Ha-Meem. (The popular notion that YaSeen and Ta-Ha are names of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) is not correct). Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 372: Obligation of changing one’s name upon accepting Islaam Question: Is it mandatory for one who newly embraces Islaam to change his or her name? Answer: al-hamdu lillaah. 303

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He or she is not required to change his or her name unless it embodies the worship of someone or something other then God, Allaah. However, its amelioration by choosing a new Islamic name is legitimate and encouraged. The fact that he or she would change his or her name from a pagan or non-Islamic name to an Islamic one would be considered commendable—however, it is not mandatory. Thus, if one’s name is Abdul-Messiah, for example, or similar such names, then he is obligated to change it, as the Prophet (peace upon him) had people with the names Abdul-Ka’bah and Abdul-Uzzah change their names upon accepting Islaam. If the original name does not comprise or imply anything forbidden in Islaam, then he or she is permitted to retain it (such as the name George, for example). As noted, though, it is preferable to change it to an Islaamic name, as this also distinguishes him or her from the kuffaar. Note that if changing one’s name in official documents and records poses a great inconvenience, it would suffice to change it among the people. In this case, he or she is called by his or her new name by friends, acquaintances, and the general public, while offical documents would retain the original given name. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 122 Changing one’s name upon accepting Islam Question: Assalamu’alaikum. I am very in love with my girlfriend, a Chinese non-muslim.We’ve been together for 5 years and planned to be wed soon. The problem is she is the eldest in her family and by tradition has to look after her 304

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parents who are non-muslim.I have tried to convert them to the islamic faith but they refused to submit to islam.As a muslim, i respect their decision but will i be doing a sin if they continued to livewith my girlfriend and I after we wed.I deeply love and respect them even though they rejected our religion as they are my girlfriend’s parents. They however were understanding enough to not keep idols and dieties in the house after we wed but they love to eat pork (just like any other chinese) What am i supposed to do? My girlfriend doesn’t eat pork anymore and she has submitted to islam willingly but she is concerned about changing her name as her parents want her to keep her original name(ie Wong Wan Pei). Can this be allowed? Answer: All praise is due to Allah. First of all, we praise Allah the most glorified that He guided this woman to Islam and that you are now allowed to marry her under Islamic law (shari’ah). May Allah the Almighty help you to remain firm toward your faith. Out of compassion and caring for your sake, please allow me to reproach a particular aspect of your question, which is that you did not indicate any regret on your part regarding the sinful and forbidden relationship of taking a girlfriend and continuing with her in a friendship that angers and displeases Allah regardless of the extent of that friendship. Your question focused on a secondary issue regarding the ruling on changing one’s name which is not as serious as what you have practiced for the past five years. Allah the most glorified has forbidden such an indecent relationship in the Qur’an (interpretation of the meaning, ) “…not committing fornication, nor taking them as lovers (i.e. girlfriends)…” (Al-Maa’ida, 5:5) 305

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So, it is obligatory upon you to repent to Allah and to regret what has passed and to have the firm will not to return to the same action again, and to do good deeds and perform acts of worship to expiate the evils of that sin, and Allah is surely forgiving and merciful. (Please see also similar discussion of this issue in question #61) As for your statement: “I deeply love my girlfriend’s parents even though they rejected our religion,” by Allah it is extremely astonishing how a Muslim man that believes in Allah and the last day can love people who are non-believers that don’t believe in Allah and the last day and don’t forbid what Allah forbids and don’t practice the religion of truth and also refuse the religion of Islam??! Is this not a clear violation of Allah’s statement in the Qur’an in surat al-Mujadlilah 58:22 (interpretation of the meaning): “You will not find any people who believe in Allah and the Last Day, making friendship with and loving those who oppose Allah and His Messenger (MuhammadPeace and Blessings of Allah be Upon Him), even if they are their fathers or their sons or their kindred…” We are not saying to you curse them or pick up arms against them; however, it is obligatory upon you to abhor them for their disbelief and their denial of the Lord of the worlds and to hate the invalid and untruthful religion that they are practicing. On the other hand, there is no objection for you to treat them with kindness—while disliking them in your heart—and to be amicable towards them so that perhaps Allah will guide them through you. You will find no conflict or contradiction between these two ideas if you consider them carefully. Furthermore, there is no objection to her parents living with you after marriage if they do not perform forbidden acts in the home (e.g., eating pork, drinking alcohol, etc.) 306

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As for the question raised at the end of your letter regarding changing her name, the answer is: if the name of the person has a forbidden meaning, like the name of an idol or one of their deities or a name that means worshipping other than Allah, such as Abdul-Maseeh (worship per of Jesus the messiah) or Abdul-Hussain (worshipper of Hussain) then it is mandatory to change it. However, if its meaning is permissable and not objectionable, e.g. if it means one of the colors such as red or green or a vocation like carpenter or baker, then it is OK and it is not obligatory to change it. However, if changing the name in official documents would cause the person much distress or harm, then it suffices to change it amongst his family and acquaintances. Finally, I ask Allah to give you and this woman a halaal (lawful and good) and blissful life, full of imaan (faith) and taqwa (piety - God-fearing) and enriched with righteous posterity. All success is from Allah. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 135: Ruling on naming humans with the names of angels Question: As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum wa RaHmatullahBy Allah’s mercy, many Muslims are entering Islaam in America.Many Muslims change their names after accepting Islaam. Some change their names to names of angels like Jibreel or Mika’il, etc. According to the ‘aqeedah of Ahl-us-Sunnah, angels are neither male nor female. If one says they are male, this is bida’ah and if one says they are female, thisis kufr. So, I would like to know in light of all of this, what is the proper status of changing ones name to the nameof 307

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an angel. Is it haraam, makruh, mubaH, etc.?Please help me with this answer for I have been asking and I have yet to receive a response. May Allah rewrd you foryour answer. What advice would you give someone who has changed his or her name to the name of an angel? wassalaam. Answer: Al-hamdu lillah., Ibn ul-Qayyim said in his book “Tuhfat il-Mawdood fi Ahkaam il-Mawlood” in the second chapter under “What is preferred among the names and what is considered reprehensible among them” said: ... and among them are the names of the angels such as Gibraa’eel and Meekaa’eel and Israafeel, it is makrooh to name human beings with these names. Ash’had said: Imam Maalik (may Allah have mercy upon him) was asked regarding naming someone the name Gibreel he abhorred it and it didn’t please him; Judge ‘ayaad said: “... and others allowed it.” Abdul-Razzak said in al-Jaami’ via Ma’mar: “I said to Hammaad ibn Abi Sulaiman what would you say regarding a man whose name is Gibreel or Mikaa’eel, and he responded, ‘There is no objection.’ (laa ba’s bi-hi)” Regarding the hadeeth: “laa tusammow bi-asmaa’ il-malaa’ikah” (“don’t name yourselves with the names of the angels”), al-Bukhari has said that the validity of its chain of narration is questionable. This means that the hadith would not be considered sahih. (“Tuhfat il-Mawdood,” p. 83) 308

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In al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyya most of the scholars have ruled that using the names of the angels like Gibreel and Mikaa’eel is not makrooh (disagreeable or reprehensible). Maalik, on the other hand, has ruled that it is makrooh. (al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyya, al-Kuwait, Vol 11/p.334) Some have stated that the meaning of Gibreel is Abdullah and likewise Mikaa’eel. See Tafseer Ibn Katheer under aayaat numbers 97-98 in Surat il-Baqarah. Thus, based on what has been presented, it is preferable not to use the names of the angels, and that we follow the rightly-guided forefathers in the naming of our children and in the naming of those who accept Islam among the non-believers. The most preferred names, no doubt, are Abdullah and Abdul-Rahman as has been related in the sound hadeeth. wallahu a’lam. And Allah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com)

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