Winning Cover Letters, 2nd Edition

WINNING COVER LETTERS SECOND EDITION

ROBIN RYAN

John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

9413_Ryan/CL_fm.qxd

8/6/02

8:46 AM

Page 6

9413_Ryan/CL_fm.qxd

8/6/02

8:46 AM

Page 1

WINNING COVER LETTERS

9413_Ryan/CL_fm.qxd

8/6/02

8:46 AM

Page 6

9413_Ryan/CL_fm.qxd

8/6/02

8:46 AM

Page 3

WINNING COVER LETTERS SECOND EDITION

ROBIN RYAN

John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

9413_Ryan/CL_fm.qxd

8/6/02

8:46 AM

Page 6

9413_Ryan/CL_fm.qxd

8/6/02

8:46 AM

Page 4

This book is printed on acid-free paper.嘷 ∞ Copyright © 1997, 2003 by Robin Ryan. All rights reserved. Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey. Published simultaneously in Canada. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 750-4470, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, e-mail: [email protected] Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and stategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. The publisher is not engaged in rendering professional services, and you should consult a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss or profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. For general information on other products and services please contact our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002. Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data: Ryan, Robin, 1955Winning cover letters/Robin Ryan.--2nd ed. p.cm. -- (Career coach) Includes index. ISBN 0-471-26364-8 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Cover letters. 2. Applications for positions. I. Title HF5383 .R93 2002 650.14'2--dc21 2002068955 Printed in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

9413_Ryan/CL_fm.qxd

8/6/02

8:46 AM

Page 5

My family is my most precious possession in this world. This book is dedicated to all of them: Steven, Jack, Rich, Dave, Sophie, Jordan, Lillie, Mom, and Dad.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments Chapter 1 A GREAT COVER LETTER IS A KEY ELEMENT IN LANDING THE PERFECT JOB The Importance of Cover Letters Our Hiring Managers’ Survey Results Why Use The Power Impact Technique™? Acknowledged Difficulties in Getting Employers’ Attention A Guarantee What’s Ahead Chapter 2 COVER LETTER MISTAKES HIRING MANAGERS SAY TO AVOID Mistakes You Should Not Make 1. Don’t Start Your Letter with: “I’m Applying for the Job I Saw in Sunday’s Newspaper” 2. General Letters Are Worthless 3. Do Not Ignore the Stated Criteria 4. Don’t Let Careless Errors Torpedo You 5. Clueless About My Company 6. Paying Little Attention to Format or Style 7. Sloppiness 8. Poor Salutations Start You Off on the Wrong Foot 9. Negatives Are a Major Turnoff 10. Just Wanting It Is Not Enough 11. Don’t Specify the Salary or Benefits Desired 12. Phone Etiquette Doesn’t Exist 13. The Meat’s In the Resumé

11

15 16 17 18 19 20 20

23 25 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37

7

Winning Cover Letters

14. They Could Do My Job 15. Can’t Do the Job 16. Can’t Work the Hours Requested 17. Long Letters Are Losers 18. Unsubstantiated Bragging Backfires 19. Not Showing a True Interest 20. Don’t Expect the Employer to Find a Need for You to Fill 21. Using Buzz Words Can Backfire 22. Don’t Include the Employer’s Want Ad 23. Gimmicks Rarely Work Bad Cover Letter Example Summary Chapter 3 THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE™ Success Stories Summary

8

37 38 39 41 41 42 42 43 43 44 44 48 49 52 80

Chapter 4 MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS Proven Cover Letter Examples High-Level Executive Cover Letters Terrific Job Search Resources and Advice Internal Promotions Targeting Your Skills to Different Types of Organizations Referral Insider Information Volunteer Experience/Reentry New Graduates Bachelor’s Degree The MBA Challenge Career Changing Special Notice for Those in the Creative Arts More Examples of The Power Impact Technique at Work Salary History Requests Summary

81 82 95 106 107 109 113 117 119 122 122 124 129 133 135 142 144

Chapter 5 WRITING YOUR COVER LETTERS The Writing Technique Paper, Printing, and Envelope Recommendations Creating Your Marketing Package

145 146 155 156

CONTENTS

Chapter 6 SPECIAL LETTERS THAT CRACK THE HIDDEN JOB MARKET Prospect Letters Highly Competitive Fields Informational Interview Request

159 160 166 173

Chapter 7 WRITING SELF-MARKETING LETTERS Prospect Letters When You Have a Referral Informational Interview Letters

179 179 183 186

Chapter 8 INTERNET, FAXING, SCANNING, AND E-MAILING Faxing Netiquette

189 196 199

Chapter 9 THANK-YOU LETTERS THAT CAN LAND YOU THE JOB The Strategic Note The In-Depth Letter

203 205 207

Chapter 10 THE ACCEPTANCE/EMPLOYMENT LETTER

215

Chapter 11 THE EASY TRACKING SYSTEM Hot Leads High-Impact Words and Phrases Notable Abilities Guidelines to Follow When You Have a Full-Time Job Guidelines to Follow When You’re Not Working

219 222 222 224 225 226

Chapter 12 BE A SUCCESS STORY

227

MORE CAREER HELP AVAILABLE Index About Robin Ryan, Author, National Speaker, and Career Coach

231 233 239

9

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

T

here would be no book if it weren’t for all the clients and seminar participants who have used The Power Impact Technique and found it to be such a successful tool. I owe a debt of thanks to the many clients whose stories you’ll read. They generously offered insights and hoped their success might inspire others. So many employers offered their expertise to aid me with this book. I thank everyone who took the time to do our survey and call, fax, or write me with their insights and observations. This book improved because Steve Ryan, Scott Thompson, Lisa O’Toole, and Tracy White read the manuscript and offered terrific suggestions on how to make it better. I’m thankful to Diane McDonald for her great legal work and all-around support. I also owe a BIG thank-you to Mike Hamilton and Laurie Frank at Wiley, who helped make this book a reality. Dawnie Thompson and Paysha Stockton are both owed a mountain of thanks for all their administrative efforts—including typing and formatting each page. I appreciate their ongoing support and encouragement that my work makes an important difference in many people’s lives. Finding time to write when you’re a working mom means having a great nanny and a helpful spouse. So I must say thanks so much to Patty Lowe and Steve Ryan, who played with Jack and let mommy get this done. Last, I’m pleased to have the sweetest son on the planet, who at three years old told everyone, “Mommy writes books,” while smiling from ear to ear. No one could ask for a better cheerleader.

11

WINNING COVER LETTERS

Chapter

A G R E AT C O V E R L E T T E R IS A KEY ELEMENT IN LANDING THE PERFECT JOB

1

I

“

got the job! I can’t believe it—I got the job! I only sent out this one resumé and cover letter—and I got it!” Mary was ecstatic as she called to tell me her dream had come true. “Four hundred and five people applied and they picked me—me!” Her elation over landing a great new job was passionate. Cindy, another client, called to say: “They hired me. This is a dream job—more money, better hours. It’s perfect. I knew I needed to write a good resumé and cover letter. All it took was one. I never sent another. From just that first one, I got the call. I start in two weeks. I would never have believed it could be this easy. This will change my whole life. After 20 years, I’m finally moving on to the perfect job for me. Hard to believe, but it’s true.” Phone calls, letters, notes—they all say the same thing: “I got the job!” “Thank you for your help, that cover letter did the trick. I’ve got the interview.” No one was more thrilled than Sam. He sent me an expensive bouquet of flowers with a letter that said: “No one had even looked at me before I worked with you. Taking three years off from my career was proving to be the professional suicide my friends warned me it would be; but you helped me put together a strategy, reworked my resumé, and improved my cover letters. You had me focus on what I had accomplished—to really market my strengths and talents. I’ve just landed a senior management position my colleagues will be envious of.” These clients, like all the others in this book, had great success using The Power Impact Technique™ to write their cover letters. That is the technique you’ll learn in the upcoming pages to ensure you put your absolute best on paper. These letters made the difference.

15

Winning Cover Letters

96% of the hiring managers surveyed preferred The Power Impact Technique to write a cover letter.

Extensive research was conducted to offer you the most effective job hunting techniques available. An exclusive hiring managers’ survey was conducted so you can learn exactly what employers want when they hire. Successful cover letters that real people used to land their dream jobs are included; and most important, you’ll learn The Power Impact Technique to write the best cover letter possible.

The Importance of Cover Letters The cover letter is the very first thing the employer sees when you apply for a job. In the course of conducting research to write this book, I confirmed one very important fact—hiring managers and personnel people all stressed the need to write a great cover letter that is targeted to their needs. The candidates who stood out to employers used short but powerful evidence as they wrote sentence after sentence on their past achievements and the talents and contributions they’d bring to the new employer. Your letters must concisely outline your talents and abilities to meet the employer’s specific job needs. You’ll be able to do that with ease once you start using The Power Impact Technique. To learn exactly what employers wanted, I developed a survey about cover letters that was sent to 600 hiring managers. The results, coupled with other research based on years of working with career counseling clients, plus my own extensive hiring background, is what formulated the recommendations you’ll learn using this book. A significant distinction from other books is that I conducted a hiring survey exclusively for this book. The pages are laced with the results. Hiring managers will be advising you on what impresses them in a cover letter and what makes them dismiss a candidate in less than 10 seconds. Human resources manager Barbara Baker tells us: “In my experience I’ve hired over 1,200 people. I’ve seen so many mistakes—too long, too short, general, nonspecific content, some even state the reasons they were fired. It boils down to this—a simple, direct letter that mentions how their skills relate to performing the position applied for.” Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Yet as we received our hiring surveys back from employers all over the country, we kept hearing the same message:

16

A GREAT COVER LETTER

Most people write a terrible cover letter, so they never get an interview and they never land the job.

Our Hiring Managers’ Survey Results Little research has been done on cover letters. One study confirmed that indeed cover letters are important. I felt it was warranted to create a survey to get more specifics about the effectiveness (or lack thereof ) from a job candidate’s cover letter. I wanted to learn what hiring managers considered the biggest mistakes people make and also what were the best ways to impress them and get the employer’s attention. Therefore, we sent our hiring survey to a random sampling of 600 human resource managers, CEOs, vice presidents, senior executives, and recruiters to determine their preferences. Of these, 38% were in human resources and the other 62% were hiring managers. Everyone in the study had done extensive and recent hiring. Almost all of the HR managers had hired over 200 people, some as many as 1,000. They worked in all different fields: manufacturing, nonprofits, state and federal governments, education, retail, healthcare, service and high tech, to cite a few. Our managers held positions as program directors, vice presidents, senior management, presidents, and CEOs. They had, on average, hired 80 people each. Most senior executives and those at large organizations typically had hired over 100 managers and professionals for their organization. The survey targeted professional, executive, and managerial positions, with a few questions targeted toward staff jobs. These hiring managers (the person who decides if you get the job) worked for the Fortune 500— some of the best and most prominent companies and organizations in the United States. Others were employed with medium-sized or smaller companies. We covered a wide range of fields and every state in the union to get the real facts on what it takes to get hired today. The conclusions from this hiring survey will be revealed as you use this book to land your perfect job:

✔ Cover letters are important and necessary. ✔ A good cover can sail to the top of the stack and get an interview.

Likewise, a terrific candidate with a general letter will go unnoticed in a stack of hundreds of others vying for the opportunity.

✔ Cover letters serve as a sample of your communication skills. 17

Winning Cover Letters

✔ Succinct points that clearly outline the abilities to perform the needed tasks of the job get noticed.

✔ Of the employers surveyed, 96% selected The Power Impact Technique as their preferred way to write a letter.

In addition to this survey, let me summarize my background. I’ve been a career counselor for over 15 years. Helping people find good jobs is my passion—the mission that drives my life. I’ve personally hired over 300 people and teach seminars on hiring to employers. I’m constantly working with job hunters, having seen tens of thousands of participants in my job search seminars. In addition, I conduct hundreds of career counseling sessions with individual clients every year. I wrote this book for one reason and one reason only: The Power Impact Technique enables job hunters to write more effective cover letters that employers notice and respond to. My clients have proved this over and over again, day after day. We asked our hiring managers in the survey what was the best way to write a cover letter—96% selected The Power Impact Technique. That’s the best reason I can give you to use this book—it works! Every cover letter in this book is that of a client I’ve coached with who got the interview and, in most cases, went on to land a terrific job.

Why Use The Power Impact Technique™? Employers told us: “Clearly tell me how you can do the job.” “Show me how you used your skills.”

—CEO —Department manager

“What contributions did you make before.”

—Vice president

“Tell me what you can offer my company that makes you —President special.” “Tell me why should I select you for an interview.” —Human resource manager

“Be specific.”

—Personnel director

“Give clear examples of past success.”

—Executive director

“Relate your background to the job’s needs and articulate —Senior vice president how you’ll meet them.”

All these employers are stating exactly how to impress them and get their attention.

18

9413_Ryan/CL_c01.qxd

8/6/02

8:47 AM

Page 19

A GREAT COVER LETTER

I developed The Power Impact Technique over a dozen years ago to help myself get a job. The job market was so competitive, and starting out each letter saying “I’m applying for the job I saw in Sunday’s paper” was getting me nowhere. So I created a new writing style. My letter opened with a powerful first sentence that quickly demonstrated to the employer the background and skills I’d bring to the job. My letters began to sail to the top: While hundreds of others missed out, I got the employer’s all-important phone call to come in for an interview. It worked so well for me I started sharing this technique with friends. In 1986, I started leading job search seminars and began teaching this technique to job hunters. I received tremendous positive feedback that this technique was an easy-to-use formula that saved people hours and hours of time spent writing ineffective letters employers never noticed. Just as I’ve taught others over the years, now I’ll show you how to analyze a job, target a special company, and portray your top strengths using this technique. You’ll read employers’ comments and insights that will aid you in getting hired faster as you look for a new and better job. You’ll find that The Power Impact Technique is both easy-to-use and highly effective to write cover letters employers notice. You won’t find tricks, gimmicks, or shenanigans that don’t work. You’ll find only letters with a proven success record that you’ll get from my years of research on hiring, plus specific employer insights that will enable you to succeed in no time.

Acknowledged Difficulties in Getting Employers’ Attention If you’ve been in the job market for more than five minutes lately, you’ll be the first one to admit it’s a challenging time. The competition for each job can draw hundreds of probable candidates . . . hundreds. Employers told us the cover letter gets only a few seconds’ glance unless, as HR manager Tim Smith said, “I see the skills jumping off the page. It’s really hard to read boring letter after boring letter. Or those bragging ones claiming they can do the job. It’s rare to break out of the monotony and find a person who took some extra time and crafted a letter that clearly addressed the job’s needs as they outlined their abilities and skills. Those rare letters—I notice. Usually those are the ones I hire.” Tim works for one of the Fortune 500 companies where they get over 500 letters every week. As he said, “I’ve seen it all.”

19

9413_Ryan/CL_c01.qxd

8/6/02

8:47 AM

Page 20

Winning Cover Letters

Our hiring survey results determined that cover letters receive only a 10-second glance during the initial reading by employers.

You have only seconds to capture the employer’s attention and keep him or her reading. Good jobs (those that are interesting and pay well) are hard to find. You must put together the best possible package to advertise your skills. The bottom line is that the cover letter is the first thing an employer sees. It must be great! No ifs, ands, or buts. You need to be better than the competition—you must outsmart them. And you will when you start writing The Power Impact Technique letters.

A Guarantee This book will improve your ability to write better cover letters. You’ll gain insight into what employers are really looking for. Certainly a cover letter alone doesn’t get you hired. Rather, it’s the letter-writing process you’ll learn that means the difference between landing the job or just getting left in the stack. This process includes the job analysis, the insights from the hiring manager’s perspective, developing succinct sound bites on your skills, and summarizing the results and contributions you make. This is what you’ll be learning and carrying through on your resumé and throughout your interview. You will read dozens of proven, market-tested letters and success stories that clearly illustrate how to apply The Power Impact Technique yourself. You’ll save time and effort while you zero in on a great job you are qualified for with succinct evidence and statements that cause employers to start calling you!

What’s Ahead You’ll learn a huge amount of information and insight once you’ve read through the big mistakes employers pointed out that you must avoid to get hired! You’ll see examples of people just like you—others who faced the challenge, the fears, and the rejections. The result: They are now enjoying terrific jobs. You’ll benefit from reading their stories and seeing exactly how we wrote their cover letters. These cover letters are the exact ones they used—only their names have been changed to ensure their

20

9413_Ryan/CL_c01.qxd

8/6/02

8:47 AM

Page 21

A GREAT COVER LETTER

confidentiality. Most books just give samples, but samples only encourage you to copy and not apply the writing skill. That’s the difference Winning Cover Letters makes. You’ll learn The Power Impact Technique. It’s an easy writing formula that you’ll be able to apply and use to improve your cover letters and your success. Let’s get started. A better job is out there, just waiting for you to find it.

21

9413_Ryan/CL_c01.qxd

8/6/02

8:47 AM

Page 22

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:47 AM

Page 23

Chapter

C O V E R L E T T E R M I S TA K E S HIRING MANAGERS SAY TO AVOID

2

“

T

he best way for someone to impress us is to address how all of the qualifications in the opening will be met by the candidate. Spell it out for me succinctly!” says Kirk Beyer, a human resources director. Concise evidence—that’s what employers want. You must tell them exactly how you can do the job! The Power Impact Technique that I’m going to teach you in this book will show you exactly how to write cover letters that hiring managers such as Kirk love to receive. They are specific. They are concise. They address the employer’s needs and focus the entire letter on demonstrating skills, experiences, and past accomplishments to excel at the job the employer needs done. To provide you with the very best strategic advantage possible, I decided to conduct a massive survey to underscore the best ways to write a cover letter and find a job. Little research has been done on cover letters prior to this book. One recent survey’s purpose was to determine whether cover letters were even needed at all. The results: Surprisingly, 60% of the 1,000 employers surveyed stated cover letters were “as important as or more important” than resumés. That was important, significant data— every resumé needs to have a cover letter. But I wanted more facts on what impresses employers and facts on what people do wrong. So I developed a new survey that asked those questions. We sent 600 surveys to human resource managers, CEOs, VPs, managers, executive recruiters, and department heads—a random cross-sampling nationwide. I wanted people who make hiring decisions from various fields and industries as well as different geographical locations for an accurate representation. I’ve based this book on the results of this survey, the years

23

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 24

Winning Cover Letters

of experience I have working with hundreds of employers plus thousands of job hunters, and my own hiring experience. (I’ve hired over 300 people myself.) I teach hiring seminars to employers and have also worked with them on the selection process. But my first love has always been coaching job hunters like you to find better jobs. This chapter is the result of significant new research done specifically for this book to help you. I’ve quoted employers and identified their names, titles, and organizations where we had been given permission to include all three. Several preferred their company names not be identified, so those messages include only name, title, or general company description. These employers’ insights will be of significant value to you as you read this book. I think you’ll find it to be a very informative and insightful process to hear what these employers told us. The most important result was the endorsement of the effectiveness of The Power Impact Technique. You’ll see firsthand evidence of how persuasive a good letter can be. Additionally, employers were quite verbal about mistakes they often see that cause job hunters to fail. I think a great deal can be learned by understanding more about the hiring process. In this chapter, you’ll get a more accurate picture of how employers think and what they value. We found major errors that you need to avoid as you seek a new position. These are errors that prevented people from getting hired. I suggest you carefully read through this section—you’ll learn a great deal.

24

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 25

COVER LETTER MISTAKES

Mistakes You Should Not Make 1

Don’t Start Your Letter with: “I’m Applying for the Job I Saw in Sunday’s Newspaper”

Imagine yourself with 200 resumés to sort through and 195 start their cover letter this way: “I’m applying for the job I saw in Sunday’s paper.” We gave our hiring managers several choices of openings for cover letters—96% selected The Power Impact Technique—the very technique you’ll learn to use in this book. This technique includes a strong opening sentence. It shows you how to address the requested criteria as you identify the job an employer needs done and your ability to excel in performing it. Sue Carroll, executive vice president at Westar Insurance Managers, recommends: “Start your letter with your ‘closing statement.’ ” Pete DeBottis, school district administrator, echoes the same sentiment. He states: “Use an opening paragraph that tells me what you feel you can do to fill the position I have available.”

25

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 26

Winning Cover Letters

2

General Letters Are Worthless

Employer after employer after employer told us they hated general cover letters containing no specific content. “I’m convinced that they can’t write, are just lazy, or both,” says one HR manager. Specifics sell— specifics and facts in the content of your letter are essential. Accomplishments and evidence of your productivity are the necessary ingredients for a good cover letter. Employers often use your cover letter as a yardstick to measure your writing and communication skills. Therefore, the content must be substantial. Victor, a CEO in the healthcare industry, said it’s a major mistake to mail the same obvious “form letter” to every prospective employer. Several other employers agreed. In the haste to get a resumé in the mail, applicants use their one written letter without adapting it to the specifications of each different opening. Job hunters overlook the importance of targeting each and every letter to address that employer’s specific needs and requirements. That’s why so many get overlooked. Once you offer solid facts, skills, and abilities as evidence of how well you can do the job, your success with potential employers will improve dramatically.

26

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 27

COVER LETTER MISTAKES

3

Do Not Ignore the Stated Criteria

“Applicants who do not address the qualifications or other information requested in the advertisement make a huge mistake. And it seems so many don’t address the employer’s needs—at all,” said Kelly Bachman, finance manager for a large agricultural company. She found this very frustrating, and many other employers agreed—applicants simply do not READ ads to determine if they could actually fulfill the job. “Job candidates, unqualified for the position advertised, mail in and tell you all about their skills for a totally unrelated position,” one manager noted. “We advertised for an executive assistant and got a letter that told all about [the applicant’s] marketing skills. Why did he waste his time and mine?”Just mailing in for any job, hoping to get noticed for a different position than the one advertised, rarely, if ever, works in today’s competitive marketplace. This candidate would have gone much further if he had written a self-marketing letter (see Chapter 6) and mailed it to the head of the marketing department, the correct area for the job he wanted. Employers want you to address each specific qualification and state the experience and skills you possess to perform that task or function. You’ll soon learn exactly HOW to write a cover letter that matches the employer’s advertised criteria succinctly and effectively. The bottom line is that you must show how you are qualified—and if you truly are not, save your time and effort and don’t apply.

27

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 28

Winning Cover Letters

4

Don’t Let Careless Errors Torpedo You

“Nothing’s worse than typos,” says Stephanie, a Human Resource Manager who’s hired over 500 people. “Once I see a typo—any typo—I know that this is NOT a person we want to hire into our organization.” Typos were high on the list of major mistakes that caused employers to reject applicants. I repeatedly was told, “I stop reading when I see spelling mistakes.” Spellcheckers miss word meanings. Unfortunately, spellcheckers correct misspellings but they don’t correct incorrect word usage. So, if you type “from” but mean “form,” the computer will not correct it. Read your letter out loud and listen to each word, so you don’t make a mistake that will be a glaring error to an employer. It’s a good idea to have a friend or family member read the letter before you mail it, just to be sure you didn’t miss anything. Grammar imperfections can cost you. Employers said blatant grammatical mistakes were a major turnoff. Proofread and use a dictionary, so that your letters will be perfect. Read the letter out loud to make sure you haven’t missed a word or two. Ask a friend to read your letter to confirm that your points are well written and clear. Several human resource directors and hiring managers stated they use cover letters as active representations of people’s written communication skills. With that yardstick in mind, you can see how important a good cover letter truly is.

28

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 29

COVER LETTER MISTAKES

5

Clueless About My Company

Kathryn, HR manager for a Fortune 100 company, said, “I can understand it a bit more when a person is clueless about a small employer, but not for a large well-known public company like us. Once, we got this cover letter from a woman highly praising our company and stating how much she wanted to work for us as a flight attendant. Problem was, we’re an air freighter, not an airline.” Many managers told us that few people bother to learn anything about the company they’re applying to, and their cover letters reflect their lack of knowledge. A few respondents in our hiring survey offered suggestions on how to impress them. “Share some brief knowledge about my company and possibly a success or key effort of ours,” suggests Colleen Kill, regional account manager at Searle. “Show interest in the successes of our organization. Explain how you could be part of keeping up the productivity.” Many employers agreed. It seems most hiring managers want you to “show you know something about my position and needs,” as Susan, a senior executive, pointed out. For many job hunters, information about companies can be challenging to uncover. A quick phone call, however, can often provide you with a complete job description or a talkative manager who’ll share important insights, allowing you to specifically address the employer’s needs. Check the Internet and definitely visit the company’s website. More effort, YES—but our employers all felt it made a big difference. In my opinion, familiarity with the company is often the only difference between applicants who get an interview and those who do not. Too many people ignore the need to do a thorough job analysis and company research. Of course, you don’t want to spend several paragraphs telling a company how great they are, trying to impress them. A manager at Nike said, “Forget the superlatives—we know we’re a great company. What we don’t know (and want to know) is how you can keep us on top and add to our team.” In other words, spend your time giving the prospective employer the specifics on how you would excel at the job and the results they might expect from you—that’s what they’ll react to.

29

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 30

Winning Cover Letters

6

Paying Little Attention to Format or Style

“The most important thing is the overall appearance of a letter, followed by it being an intelligently written letter,” noted Oris Barber, a Director of Human Resources. Our survey respondents emphatically stated they want letters that are professionally formatted, concise, and easy to read. Sandy, an HR Recruiter, said, “The cover letter is my first impression of the person. Professionalism, a good format, and the letter style influences me to either read more or not read the letter at all.” Microscopic type is a bad choice! Every manager reiterated that letters must be easy to read, which means no font type size that requires a magnifying glass. Keep the font clean—Arial is a good choice—at point size 12 or 13. Too many job hunters shrink down the font size to squeeze the entire letter onto one page. Careful editing is a better alternative. One HR rep sent along a cover letter that had no address or phone number on it. She sarcastically wrote, “Don’t you just love this? We couldn’t contact this person even if we wanted to.” I recommend you include your address and always include your home telephone number. It is not advisable to list your work number. That way, when an employer calls, you’ll be able to ask questions about the job, get directions, and never worry that someone at work is listening. You also won’t worry about who hears your messages. Don’t leave off important credentials. Special designations, such as: MBA, JD, Ph.D., or PE are vital ingredients in your package of skills. Major titles such as these need to be placed in the letterhead, after your name, at the very top of your letter. So instead of writing “Mary Stephens,” it’s more powerful to have your top line read “Mary Stephens, MBA.” Josh, a Personnel Recruiter for a prominent retail store chain, noted, “We often get letters that are unsigned.” A few other human resource managers also pointed this out as a noticeable mistake. A good, clear signature is a must on every letter you mail. You can remember everything, but if you use a poor-quality printer, especially a computer-generated fax copy that produces a faint, light type that is difficult to see on the page, you’ll likely be skipped over. If you make it hard to read your letter, you know what will happen—they won’t read it! Use a laser printer or go to a copy center to print out a crisp laser copy of your letter, and send or fax that copy. The presentation style of your letter reflects YOU. Be sure you

30

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 31

COVER LETTER MISTAKES

make the grade when compared to a stack of others that have a sharp and crisp style. Yours must scream “pro” too.

7

Sloppiness

We received numerous complaints about sloppiness in format, structure, and even poor penmanship. “I absolutely hate it when people send me a handwritten cover letter,” says Marie, a Human Resource Manager. “Nothing is more unprofessional than that. I’d like to say we only get them on low-level jobs—but I’ve seen them from managers and professionals who offer excuses like ‘I don’t have a printer.’ Have they ever heard of Kinko’s?” Needless to say, never handwrite under any circumstances, unless you DON’T want the job. Professionalism must be paramount in your mind—no cross-outs, ink scratches (besides your nicely written signature), or crumpled or marked-up paper. Many noticed if the envelope was typed, laser-printed, or handwritten, commenting that sloppy penmanship was a serious error and reflected poorly on the candidate. One VP wrote, “I always look at the signature and envelope. I like a professional look—the kind that demonstrates the person operates with high standards. Nothing’s worse than envelopes that are almost illegible. They make me wonder about the person’s performance on the job, when they’ll need to communicate in writing to staff and other managers. I worry that they’ll be misunderstood, causing us all problems.” It’s clearly evident to me that employers need to see the very best you have to offer, even on the smallest details. Neatly addressed or laser-printed envelopes make the best impression.

31

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 32

Winning Cover Letters

8

Poor Salutations Start You Off On The Wrong Foot

A question I’m often asked in my seminars is: “Who do I address the cover letter to when there’s no name?” Well, “Dear Sir/Dear Madam” is old-fashioned, and “To whom it may concern,” is outdated. My first recommendation is to try to obtain the person’s name by calling the organization and asking for it. Always ask for the correct spelling of the name and clarify gender. One Fortune 500 HR Manager took great offense at having her name misspelled. Frequently, she noted, letters sent to her are addressed to “Mr. Kim Rice” when she is actually a woman. Ms. Rice went on to say it impressed her when people took the time to find out her name and sent the letter addressed specifically to her, instead of the generic “Dear Personnel Manager.” Anna, another HR Manager, warned how easy it is to mix up names when doing multiple letters. “The worst cover letter mistake I’ve ever seen was a cover letter addressed to me but with my name spelled ,’ with someone else’s wrong, and with the letter beginning, ‘Dear name in it!” Not exactly the way to win friends and influence people. If you aren’t able to get a name to address your letter, then try this: Address it to: ‘Dear Company’ or ‘Dear Title,’ i.e., ‘Dear Marketing Director,’ or ‘Dear Manager’—all are acceptable alternatives.

32

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 33

COVER LETTER MISTAKES

9

Negatives are a Major Turnoff

Rose, a Human Resource Manager, told me, “Job hunters fail to see the impact they create when they offer negative information. The cover letter (or interview) is not the place to lambaste an old employer. This happens pretty frequently with people who have lost their jobs and feel they need to vindicate themselves by badmouthing a former boss or company. If they only realized just how much this action negatively reflects back on the applicant, they would never do it.” One HR Manager for a Fortune 500 company told us a dreadful story in which the applicant’s house had been burned down and he really needed a job. Any job. When I asked the HR Manager what she “did,” she answered, “Did? Well, nothing. I felt very sorry for the person, but we hire people who have skills to offer. If he really wanted a position here he needed to do a better job at marketing himself and skip the sob story.” Desperation, on your part, won’t convince an employer to “give you a break and give you the job.” That rarely works, even for entry level factory or labor jobs anymore. It’s the wrong approach to use to get hired, even if it is true. Employers want you to focus on what you can do for them, instead of, as in the above case, what they can do for you.

33

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 34

Winning Cover Letters

10

Just Wanting It Is Not Enough

“I’ve seen endless numbers who say they want to be in ‘management,’ yet they show no evidence that they have earned that right,” says Jim, a top executive at a Fortune 500 company. “We must see, by both experience and more importantly behavior, that they’ve shown leadership and contributed to the success of the team. How you get along with others is a critical element most never address.” “Many people spend a lengthy amount of time revealing personal information, which is a mistake to simply tell about oneself,” says Laurie Harme, who has many hiring responsibilities as Dean of Macalester College. “The focus is on you and not on what you can do for me. I’m impressed when applicants match their skills and experiences to our job description,” she added. Several managers in our survey stated they wanted less “you” information. Reassess your background, skills, training, and experience. Look at volunteer work, company committees, and projects you’ve been involved with for evidence to pique these employers’ interest. Demonstrating team leadership, innovation, coaching fellow employees, and a commitment to empowering others are essentials you must point out in your letter as you seek a higher level of responsibility. You can’t just “want it,” you need to show you can “do it” if you wish to win a promotion or new position.

34

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 35

COVER LETTER MISTAKES

11

Don’t Specify the Salary or Benefits Desired

A significant number of the hiring managers we surveyed were downright offended, angered, and hostile about job hunters who write, “I need $36,000 per year, plus medical, dental and retirement benefits,” when no salary information was even requested. It has such a negative impact—it totally focuses on you and your needs—and not the employer’s. Then there is another situation, where the salary is advertised. Simply do not apply if the stated salary is too low. The employer stated his salary range to attract people willing to work at that compensation level. I recommend that you apply accordingly. Many employers are frustrated by applicants who totally disregard the stated salary, knowing they need or want much more than is being offered. “Salaries are stated to allow individuals the option to NOT apply if it’s too low,” states an HR Manager at a Fortune 500 company. Tracy White, a Human Resources Director, added, “We list a salary with the word ‘firm’ after it in our ad and we still get dozens of letters stating they want something higher.” Hoping an employer will find thousands of dollars more than what was budgeted rarely happens. They state the salary and expect, if you apply, that you desire to work for the stated level of compensation. So what do you do when the ad says “Send salary history”? I asked several questions concerning salary in our employers survey and found that 23% of employers surveyed requested salary history during their recruitment process. It’s a tool to screen out those who are too high or too low, and get at the average amount people are paid. Questions about salary are an employer’s trick to screen you out of the competition. I recommend you never send your salary history. If you are compelled to respond, offer a range that gives you more latitude to not be screened out, plus some leeway to negotiate salary, if and when you are later offered the job.

35

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 36

Winning Cover Letters

12

Phone Etiquette Doesn’t Exist

When you are job hunting, it’s imperative you have either a person or a device answering your phone to record those important messages from employers. It’s hard to believe in today’s world of voice mail and answering machines that some people still don’t have message systems. Additionally, people today are typically on the Internet, tying up their only phone line so callers just keep hearing rings. I was assisting an employer with screening applicants and one job seeker had no machine. I tried twice and then forgot about that person, as I arranged interviews with others on the list. You could be forgotten too—ensure this doesn’t happen. One HR Manager described another situation many find equally annoying. “Job hunters miss opportunities when I call and a young child is expected to take the message and get all the info right. I immediately question the applicant’s judgment and their potential effectiveness on the job every time this occurs.” Isn’t it funny how simple things can have such a negative influence? Another Hiring Manager wrote to say, “More than once we left specific interview times, but kids failed to tell parents, so they were noshows and obviously no-hires, too.” More than once, employers said they were offended by rude teenagers. I recommend that you carefully instruct family members on handling calls from prospective employers, since mistakes like a phone number written incorrectly can cost you a job. It’s better to have a machine answer and screen all the calls. Be sure the message on your answering machine is simple and professional. Funny, weird, or risqué messages might be cool for your friends, but they will not impress employers while you’re job hunting.

36

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 37

COVER LETTER MISTAKES

13

The Meat’s in the Resumé

Employers want you to offer reasons, skills, and explanations of exactly how you can do the job in the cover letter. This is the first thing they see that tells them all about you as a candidate. If you leave the meat until the resumé, they may never turn the page. State the strongest skills and accomplishments you bring, right up front. You’ll get a stronger reaction to your “10 years in project management” when you go on to say you “have always brought projects in on time and on or below budget.” A statement that says you’ve “saved $50,000” will be noticed.

14

They Could Do My Job

The old adage “just get your foot in the door” doesn’t seem to apply to most professional positions anymore. It may still work for those in the factory, but not for managers. When an employer is looking at your qualifications and the cover letter says you want an administrative assistant job but the resumé says in your last position you were the department supervisor, the hiring manager gets nervous. No one seeks to hire their own replacement. “It’s a mistake when the person is overqualified and doesn’t address why they would want to change direction for a particular job,” Lauren Thomas, a nonprofit managing director, points out. You may have a valid reason to seek a lower-level position, so you may want to note it. Be careful, though, because many employers worry that a desire for a “less stressful position” translates into a burned-out employee who’ll not be productive on the job. It’s better to write this type of explanation: “I seek to downsize my career to focus on the aspects that I enjoy the most—using the computer, being organized, and supporting my boss’s goals and efforts.”

37

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 38

Winning Cover Letters

15

Can’t Do the Job

I estimated from conversations with many hiring managers and HR personnel that at least 25% of the people who respond to an ad or apply for a posted position do not have the minimal qualifications for the job. Many employers at large companies report that it’s as high as 50%. An HR representative at Nintendo told me: “We received over 400 resumés for an accounting manager position, and of course, nearly half were not qualified for the job.” Today’s job market is too competitive. Years ago, when there was a lack of professionals, you could sweet-talk a manager into trying you out. That’s quite challenging to do today. I recommend self-selection: Do not apply if you lack most or all of what’s being asked for. Many people apply for jobs where they basically do not fit. I’ve labeled this the “Want Ad Desperation Syndrome.” After spending two hours combing the Sunday paper, you become desperate and apply for jobs where you meet few of the qualifications. Today’s want ads in a large city will draw over 200 responses. That’s a lot of competition and, in many cases, a lot of wasted effort if your skills aren’t a good fit for the job described. I’ve always suggested not writing letters until Monday— it’s amazing how 24 hours can help you eliminate half the ads you thought were okay the morning before. It’s not quantity, but quality and quantifying your abilities to meet the employer’s needs that will get you noticed. Concentrate your efforts on locating jobs that match your skills. You’ll find much more success in that approach.

38

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 39

COVER LETTER MISTAKES

16

Can’t Work the Hours Requested

One hiring criterion paramount in employers’ minds is, “Will you be able and willing to work all the hours we need?” As more Americans seek flextime at work to accommodate family needs, commuter traffic, and academic or leisure pursuits, amount of work hours has become an increasingly larger employer problem to solve. Your personal obligations can be a major conflict with the employer’s stated hours. Full-time positions usually mandate 40 hours per week, and you can’t always expect to run out the door at 5:01 P.M. Don’t apply for jobs that have hours you can’t or don’t want to keep. Likewise, be sure to address your willingness to work evenings and weekends for their position, if it is required, and that you would be able to cover those hours. Elizabeth, owner of a service company, offered this insight on her hiring needs: “We have a lot of part-time jobs. They are just that, part-time. I get angered by applicants who apply and the first thing that they bring up in the interview is: ‘When will this turn to full-time?’ They aren’t honest with themselves or us when they mail in their resumés. It’s a huge waste of both our time.” You need to determine your family needs and set realistic goals. One doctor who runs a prominent clinic told us, “It’s very frustrating when working mothers come and apply for a job, but haven’t clearly thought through the hours advertised for our position—9 A.M. to 6 P.M. on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It’s right in our ad, and since we’re swamped with patients, we need the person until close.” “Recently, we interviewed an energetic young woman who then sent a thank-you letter stating how much she wanted to work for us. She also called three times and we finally gave her the job. She accepted. The day before she was supposed to start, she called and said she and her husband had talked it over and decided that with all their kids’ activities, she couldn’t handle the 6 P.M. departure time and had decided not to return to work.” This kind of behavior is exactly why so many employers do NOT want to hire working mothers. Employers have long memories. This doctor added he has since instructed the office manager to screen out applicants more carefully and avoid those who have children at home. Regardless of legalities, employers are people and they form opinions about certain workers. To ensure you’ll land the job and always excel, ask about overtime requirements and rigidity of the schedule.

39

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 40

Winning Cover Letters

“We’ve been stymied by the number of applicants who interview for our job and object to the travel once it’s offered,” one Vice President of HR noted. “We have been very clear that the job entails a great deal of travel. People want higher salaries, but don’t want to do the work— specifically the travel—to earn it.” Travel is a major consideration—some people love it and their families accommodate it nicely. But many left-at-home spouses say excessive travel leads to affairs and divorces. The person remaining at home often pressures the traveler to “find a better job so you can be home more.” You need to know what is reasonable and workable for you. Then apply for positions accordingly. Overtime is a tricky situation. Many professional, managerial, and executive jobs demand it. Seventy-hour workweeks are not uncommon. Acquiring comp time for additional hours worked beyond the standard 40 hours is a popular office policy. The difficulty often comes when you’re discouraged from using the time. Many companies feel higher salaries cover extra hours required to get the job done. If companies have a flextime policy—and more and more do—ask for specifics on exactly how it works in practice. Always inquire about what the overtime normally is and the details of vacation policies (some companies want 24/7 pager/cell phone contact). Better to understand up front what’s required and turn the job down, than hate it after you start. Clearly, learning what the hours will be and knowing you can work them will save you and your employer many headaches later on.

40

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 41

COVER LETTER MISTAKES

17

Long Letters Are Losers

By using The Power Impact Technique, you’ll indeed be succinct, highlighting only the major points—just enough to get the employer’s attention. Many managers told us they do not want (and in several cases do not read) long letters. Karma Reairs, HR manager at Dean Foods, says: “Stick to the point. Just hit the highlights that would separate the applicant from the crowd without rehashing the entire resumé.” Heather, another personnel director, added: “The worst mistake job hunters make is writing letters that are just too long.” Employers preferred concise but detailed and specific letters. One page was the overall preference. Rarely should it take two. I recommend you stick to one page.

18

Unsubstantiated Bragging Backfires

“Don’t oversell,” says Karen Martin, national sales manager, who’s seen a lot of unsubstantiated boasting from job applicants. “I see a lot of puffed-up statements. Usually this is because their qualifications are thin.” Don’t create exaggerations no one will believe. Grandiose statements like “terrific closer,” “one of the top salesmen you’ll ever hire,” “I’m the best,” “I can sell anything” are all unproven claims without the substance of specified achievements to back up the statement. But when you use the “Actions equals Results” concept that’s part of The Power Impact Technique taught in this book, you’ll learn how to state the truth in the correct way to get attention. You will back up all statements with facts—not just rhetoric.

41

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 42

Winning Cover Letters

19

Not Showing a True Interest

Hiring is changing, and I saw a lot of evidence that both corporate and nonprofits alike wanted to hear about why the job was a good fit and of real interest to the applicant. Brian Kirby Unti, head of a nonprofit, offered these insights reflective of our changing times: “I’ve changed the way I go about hiring people in the last three years. I used to rely heavily upon trying to find an applicant who met the requirements of the job description—previous history and specific skills. Now I identify people who have a real passion to work in our industry and who can imagine possibilities for how the job might unfold. What scores points with me now is resourcefulness, creativity and imagination, flexibility, being a team player, ability to cope with change, and willingness to try new things.” When you offer to bring your professional desire, passion, talents, and previous accomplishments to a new job, you’ve got a winning combination.

20

Don’t Expect the Employer to Find a Need for You to Fill

Many job hunters make this mistake. It’s almost the norm for career changers and new college graduates. They simply generalize all their experience in hopes that the employer will take the time to decipher the skills and figure out where the person could fit in. That’s your responsibility. It is virtually impossible to tell an employer specifically how you’ll do a job well when you have no particular job in mind. My best advice is to take some time and do some career exploration. Take a class or visit a qualified career counselor to aid you in your self-assessment. Identify two or three jobs you feel you could excel in. Pursue those. If you do not, you may be continually frustrated by your lack of response from (and success with) employers.

42

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 43

COVER LETTER MISTAKES

21

Using Buzzwords Can Backfire

Adrian, a human resource manager, pointed out a significant error when she told us that she can quickly recognize an unqualified candidate by the use of obvious buzzwords without the facts to back up the lingo. Although it’s important to use industry language (e.g., TQM), I recommend you use it only where and when it illustrates an important contribution you have made. And never use a buzzword if you are not sure what it means. In this case, TQM stands for Total Quality Management, a common manufacturing term.

22

Don’t Include the Employer’s Want Ad

Gene, the head of HR for a Fortune 100 company, told me about a new thing job hunters have begun to do that is a “complete waste of time”— mailing in a copy of the actual want ad with your cover letter and resumé. “I don’t need it and I don’t want it,” he told me. As long as you reference the job title that you want to be considered for in your letter, that’s enough.

43

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 44

Winning Cover Letters

23

Gimmicks Rarely Work

“People will do anything for attention—most of it never works,” said one news director at a prominent TV station. “Every day someone tries a new trick—flowers, candy, even a box of cookies wrapped in their resumé. I might have eaten the cookies, but it didn’t get them the job.” We had numerous comments from our hiring managers that gimmicks, designer papers, oversized envelopes, and using Federal Express or other overnight services do not improve your chances of getting an interview. They often prove to be a negative. “The clever gimmicks are usually to hide a lack of true substance,” a senior vice president wrote. “Wildcolored papers and designs are the worst mistakes people make,” said Susan, a store manager. “Tell people no picture on their cover letter,” advises Tom Wermerkichen, human resource manager for Mustang Manufacturing. Nothing will replace a simple letter with solid facts focused on how you can excel at performing the job. It’s the meat of proven experience, skills, and accomplishments that truly gets attention and keeps the employer’s interest long enough to call you in for an interview.

Bad Cover Letter Example Let’s look at an actual cover letter that embodies numerous mistakes—a letter that did not secure an interview.

44

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 45

COVER LETTER MISTAKES

rn Judith Lowho nd 4111 N. Highla 0 Chicago, IL 2310

August 12

PMI Attn: CEO ue 125 Western Aven 3 Chicago, IL 2312 To whom it may

concern:

ibune on August in the Chicago Tr t en m se rti ve ad your considsponse to your is my resumé for ed os cl I am writing in re En . er ag an and collections m 11th for a credit eration. nce at a manager 6 years of experie an th e tor m un co ve ac edit, y resumé, I ha s experience in cr ar ye 10 As indicated on m t os m al d working toward and collection, an ial level in credit s. I am continually es sin bu l ra ne ge s ever changing urces and current for today’ ills ing, human reso sk y m g in ep feet could owledge and ke y to think on my ilit ab d an increasing my kn e nc rie pe believe that my ex business world. I company. ur yo to able asset lu va a be person. I to e ov pr s this position in us sc di to u yo g with hearing from terested in meetin I look forward to w. ie rv I would be very in te in an r ur convenience fo more fully. am available at yo my qualifications s us sc di to t en appointm you to arrange an Sincerely,

Judith Lowhorn

45

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 46

Winning Cover Letters

Here’s an analysis of why the preceding letter was unsuccessful:

✔ Poor opening—a critical error noted in our survey. ✔ Not addressed to a person. ✔ No specific accomplishments or results noted, very general, and clearly lacking proof of her success on the job.

✔ Referring to resumé, stating “as indicated on my resumé”—a filler line that wastes words instead of clearly stating important skills applicable to performing the job.

✔ Missing phone number and email—if this letter gets separated from the resumé, no one can call her.

✔ Client said this letter (that she wrote on her own) did not get her any interview.

Judith became a client when she wasn’t experiencing success. We created a new cover letter for her, using the Power Impact Technique, to reply to a similar advertised job. Here’s how we rewrote her skills to get her an interview.

46

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 47

COVER LETTER MISTAKES

rn Judith Lowho nd 4111 N. Highla 0 Chicago, IL 2310 52 81 5(508) 55 om [email protected]

February 2nd

rnstein Ms. Constance Be Corporation Midwest Import South 930 4th Avenue 3 Chicago, IL 2312 n:

Dear Ms. Bernstei

business, ting and general un co ac it, ed cr , ns in rience in collectio proven expertise Ten years of expe vel in credit, plus le l ia er ag san cu m ith a w years at ive relationships with more than six maintaining posit d an g in position of ild ur bu yo le to whi ould bring w I e collecting funds dg le ow kn e to are just part of th ter who decided tomers and staff, -oriented self star al go a these am I to . n er additio ions manag ven years ago. In se t credit and collect os m al t en credit managem pursue a career in ilities and beliefs: s the following ab consistent qualities, I posses e and maintain a ov pr im to es ur oced of policies and pr d profitability. • Establishment pany’s stability an m co ith e th s re su en sibility to assist w cash flow that partment’s respon de it ed cr e th is at it d debt loss. • A philosophy th izing the risk of ba im in m le s courts and hi w s le rneys, small claim increasing sa to at , es ci en ag n area collectio e what service. • Experience with know when to us to y ilit ab ; rts po it re rviewing, training, providers of cred ing resumés, inte en re sc s: de clu in d development. perience that their progress an g in • Supervisory ex ag ur co en d t of the latstrengths an n to keep abreas io at uc utilizing employee ed d an e ledg easing my know d business. • Continually incr world of credit an g in ng ha -c er ev e est trends in th er, and can be ion with you furth sit po is th g sin us e an terested in disc m you to arrang I would be very in ard to hearing fro rw fo ok lo I . 52 555-81 reached at (508) tions more fully. scuss my qualifica di to t en tm in po ap This letter landed her y, el an interview from a er Sinc stack of more than 200 other applicants, and Judith got the job and Judith Lowhorn a nice salary increase, too.

Judith Lowhorn

47

9413_Ryan/CL_c02.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 48

Winning Cover Letters

Summary The bottom line that came out of our survey was best summarized by Melanie Prinsen, a VP of human resources: “Applicants must use a cover letter. Indicate the job you are applying for, make it one page, state your interest in the position, and include a paragraph or two that describes your work experience, special projects, or qualifications in a way that tells us how well you’ll perform on the job.” Focus on how you’ll meet the employer’s needs. That is the key! That’s what employers say they want. That is exactly what you’ll give them when you use The Power Impact Technique to write your cover letters. Remember, 96% of all hiring managers surveyed selected The Power Impact Technique as their preferred cover letter style. The conclusion is that a strong, well-written letter will get the employer’s attention.

48

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 49

Chapter

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

3

C

“

andidates need to realize that their letter is the first thing I see when I sort through my stack of resumés,” says Deanna, HR Director. Unless there are some good specifics, I will often not bother to go to the resumé. “I know that almost all people write their own cover letters and that the letter is a true sampling of their writing and communication skill, whereas resumés can be bought and ‘doctored’ by others, so they are less representative.” Hiring managers agree—good cover letters are very influential. Since the average professional position usually competes against 200 applicants or more, you absolutely must grab the employer’s attention in your opening sentence. We’ve discussed in our last chapter how the two typical openings fail miserably. The worst culprit is, “I am writing to apply for the ad that I saw in Sunday’s paper.” This opening is used by most applicants, so when employers are reviewing dozens of candidates, they’ve seen these words so often their mind automatically jumps into a scan mode. Likewise, the second opening—“You’re a great company”—tells the employer something they already know. Neither opening captures the employer’s attention. The Power Impact Technique begins with a strong opening Our employer survey results easily confirmed that focuses on filling the employer’s needs. My clients that they expect and who have used this technique for years have had positive want to see a wellfeedback from employers and gotten interviews! Almost written, articulate every hiring manager surveyed selected The Power cover letter. Impact Technique as the preferred letter-writing style.

49

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 50

Winning Cover Letters

Once you’ve learned this writing style, you’ll never spend hours slaving over a cover letter again.

The Power Impact Technique is basically a two-step process: 1. Analyze the job—both the noted and assumed needs—and determine the most important skills the employer is looking for. 2. Immediately address how you will meet the employer’s needs.

“A poor opening paragraph is why many job hunters fail,” said CEO Robert Waldt. “It is usually a common, general sentence. You need to immediately establish something unique about the candidate. I like to see the particular reason—background or experience—that tells me why I should hire the person up front at the start of the letter.” Over two-thirds of our hiring managers agreed with Robert and noted that a common mistake made in writing cover letters was a poor opening paragraph. The Power Impact Technique begins your letter with a strong opening sentence that emphasizes the major selling points and skills you would bring to the job. It offers actions and results—the winning formula that really has employers taking notice. Look at the difference between the typical opening, “I’m applying for the ad in Sunday’s paper,” and a couple of openings using The Power Impact Technique:

✔ Ten years in senior management with proven expertise in international purchasing for a Fortune 100 company . . .

✔ A proven track record in corporate fundraising . . . ✔ A solid background developing new business and increasing sales . . .

✔

Strong retail store management experience with proven expertise to improve sales and customer service and motivate employees . . .

Cover letters require a compelling opening sentence.

50

As you can see, these openers are eye-catching, designed to get employers to really read what you can do. The secret lies in simply addressing employers’ needs right up front. After all, these are the necessary skills and experience they are seeking. The body of your letter is used to demonstrate “proof” that you can perform the duties desired. To develop this

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 51

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

proof, make an outline of the important points that the employer wants. Just underline the major items from the want ad or job-opening announcement if you have one. Whenever possible, use your network to gather any inside information on what’s most important to that employer for that job. Always keep in mind this one thing: What is it that they need me to do in this job to do it well? Then consider what you have done in your previous jobs. That’s the experience we want to emphasize. For example, the employer might want computer skills or teamwork, both important points in many jobs today. The next step is to ask yourself—What were the results of my efforts on previous jobs, projects, or tasks that I’ve undertaken? There’s the key—to compose your letter, just highlight the duties and skills needed by referencing your abilities to perform them and offering any known results from your past efforts as the proof that you can do the job. Hiring managers in our survey want concise letters. Keep the body of the letter short, not more than one page. Also, be sure to continually demonstrate how you’ll be able to do the job. Many of these points are simply shortened versions of content from your resumé. Conclude your letter with this power phrase: “The valuable contributions I’d bring to your organization . . .” This shows you’re a team player who’s productive and focused on being an asset to the employer. Never forget what is constantly running through the employer’s mind: “What’s in it for me if I hire this person? Can they do the job? Will they fit in?” Your cover letter must develop enough interest to get the employer to want to turn the page, look at your resumé, and say, “Let’s call this one in for an interview.”

51

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 52

Winning Cover Letters

Success Stories Now let’s examine The Power Impact Technique letters. We’ll look at six clients, examining their want ads and Power Impact Technique letters.* I’ve also included their resumés to give you a complete picture of the whole package and writing process.† These are real people facing actual situations you may encounter. They are perfect illustrations of how effective The Power Impact Technique truly is. MARY—

Her challenge was to leave her own business and go back to work for an employer. She worried that not having a college degree would be an obstacle. Mary’s friend had told her that Airborne had a job opening for a trainer. Mary owned a training business but was tired of the long hours spent soliciting business and not actually training. The idea of no longer being the business owner appealed to her. She contacted me to help her apply for the job. She had no resumé. She’d spent over 20 years with a large company and then went into business for herself. Mary lacked confidence in her skills and wasn’t sure they’d appeal to any employer. She was also concerned because she lacked a college degree. She thought this whole process was unlikely to lead to anything, but she wanted to try. In actuality, it’s pretty common to devalue what you have done. Women are notorious for not giving themselves credit for their accomplishments. Forget what your mother taught you about being humble. It is important to boast if you want a job. You have to carve out clearly for the employer a vivid description of your past performance and talents if you want to get hired in today’s market. In Mary’s case, I pointed out to her that she was a talented woman who’d proven year after year that she was a good trainer. Since she had no long-term goals to go into administration, I was not concerned about her lack of a college degree. I felt that her experience, especially since she

* All clients’ names have been changed to ensure confidentiality. Similar companies and colleges have also been selected. All other details specific to each client are true and accurate as depicted in each cover letter and resumé in this book exactly as the employers saw them. † The resumés in this chapter were all written using The Goldmining Technique illustrated in Robin Ryan’s book, Winning Resumés (Wiley).

52

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 53

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

had spent 10 years in training with a large phone company, would weigh heavily in her favor. So, how did she do? Competition was keen for this corporate trainer position. Mary’s cover letter and resumé beat out 405 others. After three interviews, Airborne was convinced she was Mary landed her dream job after writthe right one. Mary landed her dream job after writing ing only one cover only one cover letter! Now that may not happen all the letter! time, but it does happen for some of my career counseling clients. Let’s examine how Mary and I created this cover letter. I’ve even included Mary’s resumé so you’ll be able to see how we took some information directly from it and created the bulleted points used in Mary’s letter. Also notice that both the resumé and cover letter are specific in addressing the skills the employer required to succeed in this job.

53

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 54

Winning Cover Letters

Mary Talker 1530 Lake Avenue, Apt. 12D Seattle, WA 98102 (206) 555-0111 [email protected]

CAREER OBJECTIVE: Trainer SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS Nineteen years in corporate training and management in a major US company with 15,000 employees. Proven expertise in platform skills, learning styles, curriculum development and improvement of employee job performance.

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE Training • Fifteen years in training and curriculum development for Management and Staff in a $10 billion dollar company employing over 15,000. • Taught thousands of classes, workshops and programs in three-hour sessions up to multiple-week format to adult learners. Adapted material to learning style of each group for maximum retention. • Instructed Employees in job and management building skills including Supervision, Team Building, Communication Styles, Train-The-Trainer, Sales, Mentor/ Coaching, Job Performance and Customer Service. • Created and utilized training evaluations to maintain a high level of instruction and retention.

Curriculum Development • Created 15 new training programs for managers and non-management employees. Topics were designed for performance enhancement and skill building. • Designed numerous training materials including handouts, charts, graphs, job aids, overheads and audio cassettes. • Developed Office Procedures manual for departmental and operational use by managers and non-management personnel.

Management • Twenty years in customer service management for a $10 billion dollar telecommunications company, supervising Commercial Account Representatives.

WORK HISTORY Trainer, Seminars, Inc., Seattle, WA, 1998-Present Trainer/Customer Service, MCI Communications, Seattle, WA, 1972-1998

54

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 55

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

Let’s analyze the want ad: TRAINER National freight company seeks professional with 5 years training experience to teach leadership and management training.

After examining her resumé and the employer’s ad, we used The Power Impact Technique to write the first sentence. We decided it needed to summarize her years in training, as we felt this was the most important part to the employer. We opened with: Fifteen years in corporate training and management for a major U.S. employer.

The big eye-catchers here were the 15 years in corporate training and the fact that it was also for a large employer. Then we continued with the job analysis. Always determine the skills the employer wants, both the NOTED and ASSUMED needs. Really think about what specific skills or experience the person must have to perform the job. We felt, for Mary, these were “demonstrated speaking skills” and “good participant evaluation ratings.” They are the action and the important result of her training effectiveness. Others were “created curriculum,” “experience teaching management and staff,” and “adult learners,” which is exactly the employer’s population that must be trained. We highlighted these (excerpted mostly from her resumé) and developed the key points for her letter. Here are the impact statements that we wrote:

✔ Taught thousands of classes and workshops to managers and staff on management and leadership topics.

✔ Created and adapted curriculum to meet the learning needs of various groups of adult learners.

✔ Consistently received high evaluations from participants. ✔ Created 15 new training programs to meet the needs of 15,000 managers and staff for a major company.

We always end our letter with a “valuable contributions” statement. It’s also a good idea to give your phone number, even though you’ve listed it at the top of the page. I would like to discuss in greater detail the valuable contributions I would make to Airborne. I can be reached at (206) 555-0111.

55

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 56

Winning Cover Letters

This ending reinforces that you are focused on meeting the employer’s needs and becoming a valued asset to them. It’s clear, strong, and quite effective! Here was Mary’s Power Impact Technique cover letter:

Mary Talker

, Apt. 12D 1530 Lake Avenue ton 98102 Seattle, Washing (206) 555-0111 [email protected]

Mary beat out 405 others to land this job!

January 18th Dear Airborne,

S. employer is

r a major U. d management fo an g in in tra e at rpor Fifteen years in co iner position. bring to your tra I’d nd ou gr ck ba e th Highlights of my

e:

background includ

staff on manageto managers and ps ho ks or w d an nds of classes • Taught thousa ship topics. groups ment and leader needs of various ng ni ar le e th t ee to m apted curriculum • Created and ad of adult learners. from participants. high evaluations ed iv ce agers and re tly en • Consist s of 15,000 man ed ne e th t ee m ms to w training progra • Created 15 ne company. staff for a major I would make to le contributions ab lu va e th il ta de scuss in greater I would like to di 555-0111. reached at (206) Airborne. I can be t appreciated.

nsideration is mos

Your time and co Sincerely,

Mary Talker Mary Talker

56

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 57

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

You can see how impressive and specific this letter is. The proof of its effectiveness lies in the fact that she applied to only one employer and got hired. DIANE—

Her challenge was to change from one career to an entirely new one. Diane had been in the food industry’s research area seven years ago. Her last job was as a computer aided designer—a highly technical position that paid well, but Diane found little joy in the work. During our coaching sessions she targeted a position she truly wanted—sales representative for a food company. Diane worked hard at the career-changing process. She improved her interview skills, networked, and joined a related association; the challenge to move into the new field where she had no true sales experience was an obstacle—but not impossible. There were several positions where she came in second, but the employers chose someone who had a proven sales record. Many times, all it takes is to keep trying and learn more about the field to effectively sell the skills you do have. Here is the want ad Diane responded to:

GOURMET COFFEE SALES EXPRESS UNLIMITED A traditional Italian roaster is seeking territory salesperson to join our family. Minimum 2 years successful sales experience, team player, exceptional attitude and strong organizational skills to qualify.

We developed Diane’s resumé and cover letter to emphasize her background in customer service, sales support, and presentations.

57

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 58

Winning Cover Letters

Diane Sales 7 Water Crest Way Houston, TX 11111 (713) 555-0111 [email protected]

CAREER OBJECTIVE: Sales Representative SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS Eight years in technical sales support and new product development within the food industry. Extensive product knowledge with strong presentation and demonstration skills. Focused on customer service, exceeding goals and finding new marketing and business opportunities.

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE Customer Service/Sales • Technical sales support on a new innovative food/produce product including: demonstrations, customer problem resolutions, and quality assurance for customers. Sales exceeded all company goals by second year. • Presented formal presentations and demonstrations to food growers/customers as part of extensive marketing and educational campaign on new, higher quality product, justifying significantly higher product price. Overcame extensive customer resistance. • Developed new quality control procedures to enhance the productivity and customer satisfaction on new food products. • Responsible for persuading top management to re-direct marketing efforts by establishing significant new sales benefits on the new product. Increased product market supply by 20% yielding significant market share advances.

Product Development • Managed research development on new food/produce product including: field studies, testing, budget, and documentation through its initial market introduction. • Wrote comprehensive trial study research report for top management based on new product research data. 87-page report included: field studies, location data, methods/materials, conclusions, and both product and market recommendations. • Developed and implemented new growing procedures that increased quality and production by 10%.

WORK HISTORY Computer Aided Designer, Engineering Corporation of America, Houston, TX, 1995-2002 Manager of Technical Services, Genetics, Inc., Dallas, TX 1990-1994 Manager, J&M Agricultural Co., Dallas, TX 1988-1990 Assistant Production Manager, Transplant Co., Dallas, TX 1987-1988

VOLUNTEER ACTIVITIES/ASSOCIATIONS Master Gardener, University of Texas, Cooperative Extension, 2000 Landscape Committee Chair, Remington Homeowners Association, 2000 Women’s Food Industry Network, 2001

EDUCATION Master of Science in Agriculture, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo, CA, 1987 Bachelor of Arts in Psychology, San Jose State University, San Jose, CA, 1981

58

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 59

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

Looking at her resumé, you’ll notice we made the most of what Diane had done. Our emphasis was to play up her old skills and downplay her recent job over the last seven years. Upon examining the ad, we opened with the following: Eight years in technical sales support within the food industry.

This immediately drew in the employer. Next we analyzed exactly what a sales rep needs to do on the job. The formal presentations and food demonstrations are marketing activities that were relevant. Finally, we wanted to point out strong organizational skills and customer assistance. The sales manager for the coffee company responded when he got this letter:

59

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 60

Winning Cover Letters

Diane Sales

ay 7 Water Crest W 1 Houston, TX 1111 (713) 555-0111 [email protected] November 5th Sales Manager d Express Unlimite et re 7 Myrtle St 5 Houston, TX 5555 er,

Dear Sales Manag

proven marketfood industry with e th in ith w t or ess Unlimnical sales supp I’d bring to Expr nd ou gr ck Eight years in tech ba e th is development skills ing and product e. tiv s Representa ited as your Sale e: experience includ Highlights of my sales exceeding duce product with ro /p od fo e tiv va a new inno • Sales support on nthe second year. as part of an exte company goals by to food growers ns tio ra t, st uc on m od pr de ality tations and n on new, high qu ig pa • Formal presen m ca am te l er d educationa e extensive custom sive marketing an t price. Overcam uc od pr er gh hi antly justifying signific stomer satisfaces to enhance cu resistance. ur ed oc pr l ro nt of new quality co • Development and od products. to take initiative tion with new fo skills, the ability n io at ic un rm m te m ng tional and co ice that builds lo • Good organiza d responsive serv an e tiv ac opr e s th to give customer hips. ns tio la ers. customer re d and its custom Express Unlimite to g in br able n lu ca I va e uss th eat deal that a meeting to disc e ng I feel there is a gr ra ar to 11 e at (713) 555-01 Please contact m of your team. uld make as part contributions I co Sincerely,

Diane Sales Diane Sales Diane landed the job and has been very happy with the new position.

60

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 61

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

Diane has done very well in her new field in sales. Enthusiasm and the desire to excel aided Diane in making this move. It required a lot of tenacious effort. Career changing is never an easy process, but in Diane’s case she reports that it sure was worth all the effort. JOAN—

Her challenge was to find a new position after being fired. Of all the challenges facing us in our careers, being fired is the hardest and certainly the most stressful to endure. You begin to doubt yourself, your abilities, and whether you’ll get a new position. It’s a painful experience that most workers will go through at some point during their working career. I began to work with Joan when she was fired as the director of a nonprofit organization. The board criticized Joan’s abilities, citing poor budget skills. She admitted she wasn’t too good at office politics, and that also hurt her in this position. It became apparent to me that Joan had a lot of strong skills that simply needed to be aligned with the right organization. She lacked self-confidence because her last few months on the job had been demoralizing. As her job search progressed, Joan proved to be a “networking queen.” Over the years, she had helped many people with their job hunting activities. Now, she found everyone was eager to help her. It took several months before she learned about this position: EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR—THE GARDENS FOUNDATION A 3,000 member support organization for The National Park Arboretum, is seeking a full-time Executive Director. Responsibilities include: raising funds, administering the Foundation’s office, coordinating volunteers, increasing membership, and advocating a new master plan for the Arboretum. Qualifications: Management experience; proven abilities working with donors, volunteers, local governments, academic institutions and the public. Experience in fundraising, outreach, and public relations is essential. BA, BS or MBA degree. Interest in and some knowledge of ornamental horticulture is desirable.

We worked on her resumé and emphasized her strengths: managing people, special events, public relations, and media.

61

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 62

Winning Cover Letters

Joan Director 6800 175th Avenue NE San Francisco, CA 33333 (415) 555-0111 [email protected]

CAREER OBJECTIVE: Non-Profit Executive Director SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS Thirteen years of progressive nonprofit experience with last three as Executive Director with strong proven fundraising, media relations, event planning, and leadership abilities.

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE Management • Daily operations of not-for-profit organization with staff of six, 30 member board of governors, and 100+ volunteers. • Well-developed office systems that allow for detailed tracking of events, and excellent organization and handling of multiple demanding tasks at once. • Personnel functions include: recruiting, screening, hiring, terminations, performance evaluations, improved employee handbook, negotiate compensation packages, and training. • Converted office’s manual system to computerized system. Doubled charity’s annual giving. Special Events/Fundraising • 175+ special events organized including: fundraisers, galas, auctions, luncheons, dinners, political debates, lectures, seminars, continuing education, conferences and conventions. • Recruited top name local and national speakers waiving fees up to thousands of dollars. • Contract negotiations: meeting space, lodging, meals, vendors, advertising and printing needs. • Volunteer management: recruiting, selecting, training, managing hundreds of volunteers. Communications • Produced brochures, ad copy, public service announcements, news releases, press releases, annual reports, newsletters, company publications, business reports and correspondence. • Accomplished public speaker with groups from 1 to 2500. • Publication reporter for column. • Instructor, Santa Clara Extension, “Special Event Fundraising.” • Grant writing with 90% funding success. Media Relations • KOOW 3-minute commentary: wrote, aired, unedited. • Press liaison to KGO, KRON, and KPIX TV, numerous radio, statewide newspapers with solid contacts in all media areas with emphasis on positive exposure. • Effectively handled controversial media “hot potato.”

WORK HISTORY Executive Director, Business Center Club, San Francisco, CA, 1999-2002 Development Director, American Lung Association, San Francisco, CA, 1993-1999 Special Events Representative, Research Center, Berkeley, CA, 1996-1998 Special Events Manager, Children’s Hospital, Oakland, CA, 1989-1996

EDUCATION Bachelor of Arts, Communications, Santa Clara University, CA, 1989, cum laude

62

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 63

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

We needed to stress Joan’s management experience and identify her strengths, so we opened her cover letter with the following: With thirteen years of progressive nonprofit management in the Bay region, I bring strong administrative skills to your position of Executive Director of The Gardens Foundation. My strengths are in the areas of administration, communication, special events, and media relations.

This quickly brought to light that Joan had the skills to do the job. Resumés from 265 other applicants, many with previous experience, were vying for the opportunity. We illustrated the size of her last organization and staff plus mentioned success in obtaining grants from some prominent local companies. Mentioning her budget experience was also included. Here’s Joan’s cover letter:

63

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 64

Winning Cover Letters

Joan DirectorNE

ue 6800 175th Aven 33333 CA o, San Francisc 11 01 (415) [email protected] June 4th ee itt of Search Comm Executive Director dation The Gardens Foun 1515 51st Street 94104 San Francisco, CA Committee, irector of Search , I bring Dear Executive D t in the Bay region en em ag an m fit npro of The Gardens s of progressive no Executive Director With thirteen year of n io sit po ur ication, spetive skills to yo istration, commun in m ad strong administra of s ea ar e strengths are in th Foundation. My . ns edia relatio cial events, and m n with a $250,000 1(c)(3) organizatio 50 a ed ag an m has given me a e years, I have a staff of 6. This ith w , For the past thre rs be em m l managed comprised of 30 cal and personne fis d an n io budget and boar at ar et prep osals and adminisperience in budg riting grant prop w broad base of ex in l sfu es cc su rriculum lly, I have been y’s. In terms of cu ac M d an ment. Additiona I TC ch su members local companies ly which inform al nu an s m tering grants from ra og 40 pr ve overseen over development, I ha region. y rtaining to the Ba discuss the of civic issues pe be my pleasure to ld ou w It . ew vi ached at closed for your re eeting, I can be re m a e ng ra My resumé is en ar To you. ive Director with position of Execut (415) 555-0111. ideration. ur time and cons Thank you for yo Sincerely,

Joan Director Joan Director After two interviews, Joan landed this terrific new job.

Joan found the entire job search process a difficult learning experience. Her esteem and confidence had really been hurt by being terminated. She is very happy with her new organization and was quite grateful when the whole process was finally over.

64

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 65

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

RICH—

His challenge was to find a new job after being fired from the only company he had worked at for 17 years. Rich’s situation is like many others who are in senior management. He spent his whole career at one company, moving up the ranks at one of the country’s top insurance companies into a senior executive position. A reengineering program was set in place two years before within Rich’s company, and a subordinate soon became his boss. He was demoted. Although upset by this demotion, he felt that the price was too high to compete to keep his old job. The new boss was a hard-driven workaholic who spent 70 hours a week at the job. Rich had a family and chose to spend more time with them and less on the job. As sometimes happens, long-term employees can appear to coast at their jobs and are not always viewed as vital producers or team players when new managers take over. In the end, that led to his being fired. Rich was angry and resentful when I first met him. After a session or two, he quickly recovered and was putting positive efforts into his job search. Other executives warned Rich that most senior executives at the CFO level had a difficult time finding another position. It averaged six to nine months—longer for several who had tight one-industry experience like he did. It just goes to show you, others can be wrong. Within one month, Rich had heard of an opening from a colleague. Here’s the job announcement that Rich and I worked on: CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER—VACANCY Massachusetts’ largest non-profit association seeks a Chief Financial Officer to guide us. The candidate must possess no less than ten years experience in accounting and finance. Qualified candidates should mail resumés to: Search Committee Massachusetts Education Association Kennedy Plaza, Suite 1800 Boston, MA 02155 Attn: Manager of Personnel Competitive salary and excellent benefits program are offered.

65

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 66

Winning Cover Letters

Richard M. Cash, CPA 1700 Commonwealth Avenue Boston, MA 02111 (617) 555-0111 [email protected]

CAREER OBJECTIVE: Chief Financial Officer SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS Fifteen years in senior financial management with proven expertise in administration of financial policies, accounting, budgeting, financial analysis, banking and computer systems. Excel at team development and building positive relationships with other departments and outside parties.

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE Assistant Vice President/Controller, Prudential, Boston, MA, 1985-2002 (Promoted from Assistant Controller, promoted from Accounting Manager)

Senior Accountant, Deloitte & Touche, Boston, MA, 1980-1985

Finance • Managed the financial operation of a real estate subsidiary with $500 million in assets and $75 million of annual revenue. Complete leadership over accounting, payroll, banking, cash management, risk management, records, computer systems and administrative services. • Developed and implemented accounting policies and procedures, performed financial analysis and supervised financial reporting for a subsidiary with $3.8 billion of investments. • Reorganized three departments, eliminating four positions with annual savings of $200,000 while improving productivity and internal accounting controls through increased automation and cross-training. • Developed annual and five year budgets, and performed strategic planning and forecasting.

Administration • Managed the human resource functions for seven departments consisting of 35 employees including job descriptions, performance evaluations, hiring, terminations, compensation, conflict resolution and employee training. • Complete leadership over central records, purchasing, mail distribution, telephone system, office equipment and service contracts. • Developed new auditing system over third party agencies dealing with revenue collection and claims processing. • Developed comprehensive policies, procedures and training manuals that increased efficiency and internal accounting control.

Computer Systems • Coordinated periodic systems upgrades and ongoing conversions from manual processing, including: needs analysis, research, hardware/software selection and acquisition and staff training. The automation resulted in increased productivity, accuracy and data accessibility for strategic planning and decision-making. • Developed customized software applications for improved budgeting, investment analysis and revenue recognition.

EDUCATION Bachelor of Arts, Accounting, Bentley College, MA, 1980

66

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 67

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

Rich had a strong financial background that would be easily recognized. He’d supervised a large department and had investing, plus cash management, experience. But that would only be part of the equation. He needed to show interest in the organization and personalize his desire to join the team. Here’s what he wrote: My ability to be an effective communicator in dealing with employees, management, and outside parties is the strength of my financial leadership. My experience and skills will enable me to make a valuable contribution to the Massachusetts Education Association as Chief Financial Officer, and it would also be gratifying to be able to support and be a part of the Massachusetts public school system. Having attended Massachusetts public schools through graduation from high school, and having four children enrolled in the Brighton School District ranging from kindergarten to grade twelve, I have firsthand knowledge of the importance and quality of our public school system.

Here’s the cover letter that got Rich his interview:

67

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 68

Winning Cover Letters

Within 53 days of losing his long-held job, Rich had accepted a new position as chief financial officer.

sh, CPA Richard M. Ceaalth Avenue 1700 Commonw 1 Boston, MA 0211 (617) 555-0111 [email protected]

June 10th

onnel Manager of Pers n ucation Associatio Ed ts Massachuset ite 1800 Kennedy Plaza, Su 5 Boston, MA 0215 Personnel: ent, with proven Dear Manager of financial managem in s ar ye o -tw ty vesting and cash cludes twen d procedures, in an My experience in s ie lic po al ci ancial reportinistering finan mpliance and fin co x ta g, expertise in adm in et dg bu Chief Finanmputer systems, your position as r fo y pl ap management, co to ty rtuni to have the oppo ing. I am please cial Officer. e: experience includ risk manHighlights of my data processing, t, en em ag an m cash accounting, tax, rvices functions. • Managed the n, administrative se d an l ol yr pa istration, selectio s, rd co ing salary admin agement, re ud cl in s ed ne ce man resour • Administered hu 35. g, investuation for staff of proved budgetin im r fo training and eval ns io at ic pl ap nting. omized software ual and cost-accou • Developed cust cr ac e ns pe ex d ls for cash provenue an edures and contro ment analysis, re oc pr g tin un co ac implemented • Designed and ter systems. ents and compu ees, managecessing, investm aling with employ de in or at ic un m . My experience an effective com ancial leadership fin y m My ability to be of th ng ts re the Massachuset e parties is the st ment, and outsid le contribution to ab lu va g to a in e ify ak at m gr so be le me to r, and it would al ce and skills will enab ffi O l ia vnc Ha . na Fi em f st ol sy ation as Chie usetts public scho ch sa Education Associ as M , e ol th ho of sc m high t and be a part h graduation fro ug ro th be able to suppor s ol ho sc m sachusetts public District ranging fro ing attended Mas Brighton School e th and in e d nc lle ro rta en po the im children nd knowledge of and having four ha st fir ve ha I , ade twelve kindergarten to gr . blic school system I quality of our pu the contribution in greater detail s us sc di to at ty e ni m act te the opportu ation. Please cont I would apprecia Education Associ ts et us ch sa as M e would make to th g. arrange a meetin to 11 01 (617) 555Sincerely,

Richard M. Cash , CPA

Richard M. Cash

68

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 69

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

Interestingly, in a little over a month after beginning his job search, Rich got this interview. A couple weeks later he started the new job. A few weeks went by, and another association had finally sorted through all the applicants and called to interview him. With only a few weeks at his new job, he was reluctant to go to the interview. He liked his new position and the people he worked with. I encouraged him to go and investigate this option. He did, but quickly decided he was very happy with the new position he had accepted with the education association, so he declined a second interview with the other employer. CHLOE—

Her challenge was to write a resumé and cover letter for the job of her dreams. This client, Chloe, had thought about looking for a new challenge for quite a while. Nothing motivated her until she saw this little ad in the paper:

GRANT ADMINISTRATOR L.L. BEAN A sporting goods retailer needs administrator for its foundation. Send resumés.

Chloe loved the outdoors. Hiking and camping were two of her favorite activities. But she had no resumé and hadn’t written a cover letter in eight years. Chloe really had a strong background for the job. In my estimation she was a “good fit.” So we created her resumé and cover letter specifically to apply for this job.

69

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 70

Winning Cover Letters

Chloe Programs 330 Berry Street Durham, NH 77777 (616) 555-0111 [email protected]

CAREER OBJECTIVE: Grant Administrator SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS Six years of management and decision-making responsibility overseeing $500,000+ annual grant program with extensive nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization management and compliance experience. Authority to award 250 grants annually. Ability to effectively analyze and evaluate high volume of written proposals annually. Skilled at working closely with 21-member Board of Directors, individual, at the committee level and on major presentations. Ability to produce large volumes of high quality work using minimum resources. Proven public speaking, training, community relations skill.

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE Assistant Director, The Commission for the Humanities, Boston, MA, 1996-Present

Grant Administration • Manage grant program of $500,000+, monitor 300 grants annually including evaluation of grant program. • Make recommendations to fund or not fund large grants for final board approval on 20+ grants annually. Full authorization of small grant distribution, 250 annually. Evaluate over 400 written proposals per year. • Written 12 grants to unsolicited and specified grant programs with 80% funded. • Responsible for compliance on 501(c)(3) regulations, taxes, policies, budget management. Fiscal management. • Active, contributing member on 21-member Board of Directors. • Develop/publish grant guidelines/application forms to reflect giving priorities. • Strategic planning with board to determine giving priorities, long term goals.

Public Relations • Editor, Humanities Today, quarterly magazine. • Community relations and PR liaison, attending conferences and public meetings to communicate to public the mission of the Commission. • Published articles, contributed to annual reports. Numerous reports to board, public. • Press releases, interviewed and quoted by press on work of Commission. • Coordinate annual public conference.

Communications • Numerous public presentations on commission. Conference moderator, panelist. • Instructor, grant writing course, two-day workshop, 40-50 participants, twice annually. • Computer: IBM proficient, WordPerfect, databases for grant management.

EDUCATION Bachelor of Arts, German Literature, Wheaton College, MA, 1982 Linguistics/Translation Certificate, University of Munich, Germany, 1995

INTERESTS Mountain Climbing and Hiking (locally), U.S., Europe, China, Himalayas Backcountry Skiing, Kayaking, Mountain Biking, Local Sports

70

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 71

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

Here’s Chloe’s Power Impact Technique cover letter:

Chloe Prograetms 330 Berry Stre 4 Durham, NH 0326 11 01 (616) 555net chloep@earthlink.

This was the only cover letter and resumé she sent out. Chloe landed the job! On top of that we worked together during the salary negotiations phase to obtain $3,000 more than they had originally offered, plus a $2,000 signing bonus

February 16th

L.L. Bean PO Box 1938 01133 Sportsland, Maine Attn: SE 1794 Dear L.L. Bean:

y overseeing aking responsibilit m nn, sio ci de d an c)(3) organizatio agement e, nonprofit 501( Six years of man at iv pr a r fo of m ld ra e fie al grant prog tensive skills in th $500,000+ annu has given me ex , es iti an m Hu e for th The Commission uding: cl in grant making, grant applications lumes of written vo gh hi te ua al ev e and • Ability to analyz irectors t awards annually an ember Board of D -m 21 • Monitor 300 gr a ith w es iti ant making activ • Coordinate gr ants annually gr 0 25 ution of • Authorize distrib terly magazine • Publish a quar strategic planning • Collaborate on ach programs nduct public outre co d an op imal resources el ev D • uctivity using min od pr gh hi ith w y • Work effectivel ing classes rit w t an ram is to in• Teach gr ant making prog gr es iti an m Hu e th n, the arts, Commission for lated to educatio re s ue iss of The focus of The g in . rstand e and technology areness and unde al welfare, scienc ci crease public aw so s, ue iss al ci vironment, so sed areas of healthcare, the en nce in several focu rie pe ex e th ith w ion. I would ilities coupled ministrator posit Ad nt ra I believe these ab G ur yo to contact bring great value ter detail. Please ea gr in u yo grant making will ith em w nity to discuss th enjoy the opportu meeting. a e 0111 to arrang me at (616) 555tly appreciated. ideration are grea ns co d an e tim Your Sincerely,

Chloe Programs Chloe Programs

71

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 72

Winning Cover Letters

Notice the important points—the strong opening was essential, as we knew this ad would draw hundreds and hundreds of responses. Her bulleted statements were short but effective:

✔ Ability to analyze and evaluate high volumes of written grant applications.

✔ Monitor 300 grant awards annually. ✔ Authorize distribution of 250 grants annually. ✔ Publish a quarterly magazine. ✔ Develop and conduct public outreach programs. ✔ Teach grant writing classes. Today, Chloe’s still at L.L. Bean. I hear through the grapevine that they really love her there. She’s found a great place to work and a job that’s proven to be the perfect fit for her. SAM—

His challenge was to return to work after a three-year sabbatical. In our employers’ survey, 80% found work gaps “worrisome.” So I chose a special case for my last example. This client, Sam, was in the highly structured world of accounting. He had done something that his peers had deemed would be professional suicide: He took a three-year sabbatical from work. He traveled, went on several medical relief missions, and enjoyed life. When I met him, the money was close to running out, so he was job hunting with no success. Sam faced a big obstacle. Although only three of our surveyed hiring managers said they would completely dismiss a candidate after one year of unemployment, most of the others told us they’d want a “reasonable explanation.” A “sabbatical” as Sam called it, would hardly be easily accepted in the finance world. I’m telling Sam’s story because he faced what many colleagues told him were insurmountable odds as he began to look for a new position. Together we wrote a good resumé that focused on his past skills, while keeping the sabbatical toward the end in his work history. He had accomplished much before he left, but the gap would be impossible to totally hide.

72

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 73

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

Samuel Sabbatical, CPA 21135 32nd Ave. S. Detroit, MI 71111 (714) 555-6100 [email protected]

CAREER OBJECTIVE: Accounting Manager SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS Seventeen years in accounting management with proven track record and expertise in streamlining and directing accounting operations. Able to efficiently reorganize/reengineer processes and procedures to increase efficiency, accuracy, and internal control. Strengths lie in team development, productivity increases, and excellent interpersonal communications skills.

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE Administration Manager, General Motors, Flint, MI, 1986-1999 (Promoted from General Accounting Manager, Cost Accounting Manager, Assistant to Controller )

Accounting • 13 years in accounting management for large manufacturer, duties included: G/L, A/P, A/R, fixed assets, payroll, taxes, budgeting, forecasting, financial procedures, internal control. • Represented employer in state tax hearing. Successful defense. Result: $200,000+ tax savings. • Reorganized fifteen person department, streamlined procedures, eliminated redundancy, and reengineered reporting system. Six positions eliminated. Annual cost savings: $150,000+. • Managed three cost-accounting systems: standard, process, job cost. Analyzed and adjusted cost standards and overhead rates. Audited sales contracts from $100,000–$5 million. • Planned and executed the physical inventory involving 100+ employees. Results were procedural changes that minimized write-offs and strengthened inventory control. • Managed internal control program. Oversaw the evaluation and testing of operating and financial departments. Redesigned procedures to increase productivity/accuracy, eliminate redundancies, avoid excess expenditures, and safeguard assets.

Administration/Personnel • Recruited/hired key financial people who proved to be outstanding, 100% were promoted. • Trained financial managers and staff on accounting procedures, computer and hiring skills. • Educated division managers on effective internal controls. Trained division operational and financial staff on how to audit/evaluate internal control systems.

Computer Skills • IBM PC and mainframe experience with expertise utilizing Lotus, Excel, WordPerfect, databases and spreadsheets. Provided staff training on Lotus. • Converted 150+ corporate manager expense accounting system into a streamlined, well documented, computerized system. Increased productivity, reduced staff requirements 50%.

73

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 74

Winning Cover Letters

WORK HISTORY Sabbatical Leave, World travel/medical relief work in Central America, 1999-2001 General Accounting Manager, Cost Accounting Manager, Assistant to the Controller, Administrative Manager, Accounting Supervisor, General Motors, Flint, MI, 1986-1999 Controller, Timber Homes, Kent, MI, 1984-1986 Assistant Controller, Unlimited Sportswear, Detroit, MI, 1982-1984 Auditor, Arthur Anderson, Detroit, MI, 1981-1982

EDUCATION M.B.A., University of Illinois, Urbana, Illinois, 1981 B.A., Accounting and Finance majors, DePaul University, 1977

Here’s Sam’s letter that we created for the accounting manager opening at Upjohn:

74

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 75

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

cal, CPA

Samuel Sabbati

S. 21135 32nd Ave. 1 Detroit, MI 7111 (714) 555-6100 [email protected]

June 1st

Upjohn illiamson Attention: Bill W Box 662 000 Kalamazoo, MI 49 e porting for a larg er and financial re dg le l ra e ne th ge of e t agemen e managing th ations, plus man er op n Proven experienc ig re fo r g fo y brin ison responsibilit the expertise I’d manufacturer, lia ntrol program is co al rn te in e th edures and sition at Upjohn. accounting proc ntrol Manager po Co g tin un co Ac l na to your Internatio e: experience includ financial Highlights of my neral ledger and ge e th g in ag an al s experience in m nsolidate financi • Over four year al Motors, plus co er en G of n sio vi ajor di reporting for a m nslations. e with reign currency tra fo d an ts ns including thos en sio em vi at di st n ig re fo r fo ies ison responsibilit k conversational • Accounting lia language. I spea nd co se a is ish gl hom En controllers for w reviewing ograms including: pr l Spanish. ro nt co al rn te erational control, of the division’s in • Management e financial and op nc ha en to es ur g proced al controls. and reengineerin on effective intern s er ag an m n sio vi ivable, accounts and educating di and accounts rece g llin bi s n’ sio vi fourteen. of the di anaged a staff of • Management M l. ol yr pa ly ur sh flow foresets and ho it forecasts and ca of payable, fixed as pr ly th on m s, mi-annual budget • Annual and se utilizing Winnce with expertise casting. rie pe ex r te pu m d interpermainframe co mmunication an co nt lle • Strong PC and ce Ex . ct l and WordPerfe dows, Lotus, Exce sonal skills. I could bring to able contributions lu va e th il ta de r a meeting. scuss in greate 0111 to arrange 555 ) I would like to di 14 (7 at e . Please contact m the Upjohn team

Dear Bill:

Sincerely,

Samuel Sabbatical al, CPA

Samuel Sabbatic

75

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 76

Winning Cover Letters

This letter got a screening phone call from personnel. Today, many employers call to inquire about qualifications with the set goal of disqualifying candidates. In Sam’s case, he used the conversation to learn more about the job, and he was quite savvy in writing a follow-up letter that truly pointed out some valuable skills the employer could use. He wrote the following letter:

cal, CPA

Samuel Sabbati

ue South 21135 32nd Aven 1 Detroit, MI 7111 00 61 (714) [email protected] June 14th

ne Mr. Joe Brownsto Upjohn Co. Box 662 000 Kalamazoo, MI 49 tone:

Dear Mr. Browns

ing the position afternoon regard ay sd ne ed W te la our discuse telephone call on reflecting on Up . hn jo Thank you for th Up ith er w , I believe that counting Manag in the newspaper d of International Ac se rti ve ad n tio e did not disg the descrip e position that w th to sion and reviewin g in br n ca I y strengths that there are some ke . only briefly cuss or discussed sponsibilities od fit with the re go ry lve a e id ov anager for the fo pears to pr unting Control M co My experience ap Ac l na io at rn position of Inte described for the lowing reasons: s. I have manith General Motor w er ag an m a as ts receivars experience lling and accoun bi , ts en m • I have eight ye se ur sb yable and cash di aged accounts pa cal taxes. e , and state and lo s division for mor able, fixed assets e General Motor rg la a r fo al er ci ag an unting Man operations and fin • As General Acco for general ledger le sib the on d sp an re s es as Iw g proc than four years, e monthly closin th ith w e bl to be d rta fo ire ry com ere requ reporting. I am ve ision financials w iv D . ng rti po re of kday the ely accurate on the sixth wor on no demands for tim by n io at id itted for consol met month in finalized and subm le was consistently du he sc is th on isi y superv month. Under m

76

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 77

THE POWER IMPACT TECHNIQUE

ere addressed during closing w ng rri cu oc y, an All problems, if and month out. g schedule. dizing the closin ar op je t ou ith w responsibility for and solved alysis. Along with an al ci an fin in e vision and core experienc providing both di r fo • I have extensiv y ilit sib on sp detailed came the re cial results and a an fin monthly closings e th of is ys er ent with an anal . Often, to discov porate managem the operating plan m fro d rie an va m e lts the resu e analysis with th explanation why es, I worked on th nc ria va r fo s on as the underlying re partments. formal monthly agers of other de and submission of n io at ar ep pr e th times a month. required ired two or more qu • My duties also re e er w e es th sts. Often ntroller for profitability foreca . As Assistant Co ns io at er op l na io nadian and ed with internat consolidating Ca r fo y ilit • I am experienc sib on sp ns. I traveled to wear, I had the re Unlimited Sports currency translatio n ig re fo ed ud cl asize the ns. This in ations and emph er Mexican operatio op al ci an fin e al t to review th anager for Gener the Mexican plan Administrative M As ls. ro the nt to s co d ge es an chan d recommending required procedur an g rin ito on m ac r t cont t onsible fo il. I was in frequen az Motors, I was resp Br in d re tu ac r trucks manuf production mix fo manufacturer. vision. Under this with the Brazilian ogram for my di pr l ro nt co al rn te dited on a one le for the in were formally au ns • I was responsib tio nc fu al ci an . The interating and fin ned to each area sig as k program, all oper ris e th on dule, depending on. The results to three year sche der my supervisi un ed rm rfo pe e department ments wer ement. I trained ag nal control assess an m e at or rp velop and division and co d helped them de an l ro were reported to nt co al rn te ciples of good in controls. heads on the prin rengthen existing st to es ur ed oc pr d se uctive teams is a implement revi motivated, prod to in f af st ng pi explain the ining and develo ining, I not only tra n he • Recruiting, tra W . of d particularly prou s into the overall strength that I am ure and how it fit ed oc pr e th r fo teen people. e reason ents as large as fif procedure but th rtm pa de ed ag ions. I have man company operat ry responsibility. cluded superviso in s ha ing Winer re ca y Most of m ith expertise utiliz w ills sk r te pu m e co PC and mainfram • I possess strong ct. fe er l and WordP dows, Lotus, Exce able conter detail the valu ea gr in s us sc di 00 to e at (714) 555-61 Please contact m team. hn ing to the Upjo tributions I can br Sincerely,

Samuel Sabbatical al, CPA

Samuel Sabbatic

77

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 78

Winning Cover Letters

Very few people ever take this extra step. It worked and got Sam the interview. We practiced answers to questions and created his 60 Second Sell and 5 Point Agenda (interview concepts discussed in my book 24 Hours to Your Next Job, Raise, or Promotion, Wiley). Sam was really ready for the big event. After the interview Sam wrote again, this time with a very influential follow-up thank-you letter.

78

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 79

cal, CPA Samuel Sabbaentiue South 21135 32nd Av 1 Detroit, MI 7111 (714) 555-6100 [email protected]

Sam landed what turned out to be a terrific job—international accounting manager— one he’s been very successful and happy in!

July 6, 1997

Mr. Ken Deverall Upjohn Co. Box 662 000 Kalamazoo, MI 49 l: International Dear Mr. Deveral u the position of yo ith w s us sc di the three e opportunity to a lot of ground in d re ve co e Thank you for th W . hn Upjo vision is rol Manager for e international di th in t en nm Accounting Cont ro vi hn en gether. The Upjo hours we spent to mplexities. co its cause of be g in st re te in ly certain Motors is a large nments. General ro vi en ex pl m co ager, I am accusoperating in Accounting Man al er I am effective in en G As s. er entify errors thirty cost cent ring closing to id du y da organization with ch ea er dg as coming the general le closing process w e th , on isi rv tomed to review pe t r my su onth out, withou the ledger. Unde month in and m , ay and omissions in kd or w os cl th r six ts afte noon on the financial statemen e th of is pleted on time, at ys al vi an al plex en performed financi dealt with a com so al I , er ag exception. I also an M unting systems: standard ed. As Cost Acco cost-accounting nt ing was complet re ffe di e re th l products; and sponsible for cars and industria il ra r ronment. I was re fo s st co b jo ch product line; costs for the win . ts uc od pr foundry ternal control process costs for eneral Motors in G e th ed ag an m in l. I internal controls in internal contro ally assessed the I am a specialist rm fo m and ra , og er pr dg is le general e years. Th n (such as cash, program for thre tio nc fu g in at d er assigne to ancial and op nding on the risk pe de , place for each fin le du he sc vised the one to three year y supervision. I ad m r de un ed purchasing) on a rm e perfo ures to assessments wer gineered proced each area. These problems. I reen d re te un co en en departm t s when they e meetings with th er assessment team ov ed id es ere reported controls. I also pr ment findings w ss se As . ts improve internal en m ss asse the results of the heads discussing ent. em ag rporate man y and I to division and co business philosoph on m m co a e ar u we sh improvements yo eeting, I feel that bring about the to Ken, from our m u yo riith nt w co y e el positiv work effectiv greater detail the in u believe that I can yo ith w g rward to discussin 555-6100. outlined. I look fo call me at (714) se ea Pl . am te ur g to yo butions I can brin Sincerely,

Samuel Sabbatical al, CPA

Samuel Sabbatic

79

9413_Ryan/CL_c03.qxd

8/6/02

8:48 AM

Page 80

Winning Cover Letters

We later learned his letters really impressed and influenced this employer. They brought to light his abilities and kept reinforcing that he could do the job. It also appeared he had not “lost it” while he was on his sabbatical. The letters helped relieve any doubts the employer may have had. His extra letters were indeed powerful and highly effective for a man whom critics said would never land another prominent position in his field again.

Summary Powerful cover letters really make an impression. They can make the difference from being “one in the stack” to “one to call in for an interview.” In our survey of over 600 hiring managers, nearly every respondent selected The Power Impact Technique letters as their preferred style. It’s so concise and content-driven—that’s what gets attention. I used real-life clients who all faced situations you may encounter. Everyone had the same thing happen—they got hired! Mary wrote only one letter! Diane was able to change into a new career she loves. Joan left all her discouragement behind when her letter sailed to the top of 265 others, helping her get a terrific new job after she was fired, no less. Rich’s termination and expectation of a one-year search was quickly cut off when his second letter got him that special interview. Chloe went after her dream job, and one letter later she, too, was hired! Sam took a sabbatical to enjoy the world and silenced the naysayers by landing a fabulous job after a three-year hiatus. All these clients, and hundreds more, found success using The Power Impact Technique. Now your success using your own attention-getting cover letters lies just ahead!

80

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 81

Chapter

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

4

E

very one of these cover letters at the very least landed an interview—most applicants got the jobs! To guide you, I’ve selected letters that cover many potential situations: promotions, similar positions, career changing, utilizing volunteer work, leaving the military, and so forth. I’ve written comments to point out important insights that can aid you as you consider your own skills, experiences, and talents. Lee, an executive recruiter who’s helped clients hire hundreds of executives, said: “Use your cover letter to tell me what you can offer my company that makes you special. Why do I want to bring you in for an interview over the hundreds of other candidates we’re considering.” Larry Tomon, a senior executive at Symmetrical Technologies, tells us: “Give details on what strengths will be delivered to successfully fulfill the job requirements. I want specific accomplishments.” Once you’ve thoroughly read these letters you’ll see the dramatic results of using The Power Impact Technique. I’ve included some want ads and identified both the NOTED and ASSUMED needs. Look over the commentary, the job analysis, and the proven examples. You’ll see how effective The Power Impact Technique truly is. With the first few letters, I’ve taken the liberty of providing the actual want ad. I’ve stressed their key points and then identified the employer’s NOTED needs and ASSUMED needs, and I follow with the actual letter that the client used.

81

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 82

Winning Cover Letters

Proven Cover Letter Examples BILL—

Business Development Specialist Position JOB ANALYSIS AND LETTER

Bill saw a small ad that was a part of a large computer hardware company’s Sunday advertisement. It listed two possibilities: Account Executives

BA/BS essential—MBA preferred Strong technical knowledge

Business Developers

Not much to go on. In fact, Bill had tried to answer this ad three or four months earlier with no response. I suggested he call the company and ask if they had a job description. They did and agreed to fax it. Here’s what he received:

BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT SPECIALIST (BDS)— SYSTEMS INTEGRATION JOB DESCRIPTION The Business Development specialist works closely with the Delivery Unit Manager(s) in their assigned territory. Their role is selling and marketing SI Services. The primary goal of the BDS is the achievement of the PSC Unit’s financial goals. BDS responsibilities include: Identifying, qualifying, and driving profitable new SI business opportunities in support of sales, channels, and new customers. Participation in the account planning process. Developing, implementing, and managing a business development plan. Coordinating local demand creation activities. Supporting corporate programs at the local level building, maintaining, and managing excellent customer account relationships. Assisting in the development of work statements and proposals based on customer expectations and delivery capacity. Note: Travel up to 30%

Working from the job description, Bill identified these employer NOTED NEEDS: 1. Program management and marketing of systems information 2. Sales and new business development experience 3. Technical, consulting support to potential customers We discussed the position and realized that the ASSUMED NEEDS were: 1. Proven track record of success Here’s The Power Impact Technique letter that got Bill an interview:

82

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 83

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

William Moneroe 49 Lowell Driv 1 Natick, MA 0216 11 01 (617) [email protected]

August 20th

t Corporation Digital Equipmen ACI Department 036 N.E. ue 500 108th Aven 02180 Framingham, MA rtised. ialist position adve ec Sp t en m op el ess Dev ly managing Reference: Busin m Manager direct ra og Pr er om st n a Cu ftware applicatio past five years as tation of a new so I have spent the en em pl im e d iv an ns te velopment, mpany. I have ex the marketing, de a Fortune 100 co at em st d technical sy an n t, io at en form developm s em st sy e for a customer in ar ftw ient, so ation skills, analyt siness managem in my communic experience in bu lie s th ng re st y d marketing. M cohesive teams. product sales an my ability to build in d an , se rti pe ex nical e developcal abilities, tech tional team in th nc fu sos cr a d le plication approach, I have a client/server ap in ng lti su re Using an end-user t ep conc k. As Program entation of a new day, 7 days a wee a s ur ment and implem ho 24 e, id s access worldw for defining system that our customer rface, responsible te in er and om st cu y urce acquisition e primar Manager, I am th t, and project reso en pm d lo ce ve du de t eatly re ork statemen n system have gr io at rm requirements, w fo in d an an n cycles, d sulting applicatio order-to-delivery t uc od pr planning. The re r te or ling sh cycle time, enab communication er satisfaction. om st eased cu cr in ly us do en m has tre , I have managed present company y m at ity tiv ac payback perirrent downsizing onstrating rapid m de by t In spite of the cu ec oj pr is us funding for th resources. to obtain continuo ress with limited og pr t en pm lo ve de t ods and persisten mmending busianalyzing and reco n, sig de re s es oc rrent employer. in business pr l as within my cu el w as I have experience s, er m sto cu sponsible ovements for our our customers, re to ce rfa te ness process impr in l ca techni irements. anager, I was the ess customer requ sin As an account m bu d an l ca ni d managing tech s how I may for identifying an ould like to discus w I n. io at er id ns l’s sumé for your co the sales of Digita Enclosed is my re sition to increase po ed nc ur time re yo fe r re fo e ills in th Thank you u. yo m fro g in contribute my sk ar d to he ices. I look forwar products and serv nsideration. and thoughtful co Sincerely,

William Monroe

Bill landed this job with a better salary and more responsibility.

William Monroe

83

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 84

Winning Cover Letters

TOM—

Human resources position JOB ANALYSIS AND LETTER

Tom had just completed a graduate program in human resources when this small ad caught his eye: HUMAN RESOURCES professional wanted to work for Catholic Community Services, a large nonprofit organization with 700 employees. A generalist background and two years experience is desired. Send resumés to: Catholic Community Services PO Box 1111 St. Louis, MO 63110

Again, not too much to go on. The employer’s NOTED NEEDS were: 1. Two years’ experience in various areas within a human resource department ASSUMED NEEDS:

1. Experience in the benefits area within an HR company 2. Hands-on expertise with the HR computer system 3. Degree in HR 4. Diverse employee exposure 5. Training skills Note that Tom wasn’t sure, but feared hiring would be a major need of this employer. Since he had no experience in that area, he excluded mentioning it in his letter. Here’s The Power Impact Technique letter that opened the door for Tom:

84

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 85

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Tom Greene

. S. 4322 Grand Blvd 7 10 63 O M St. Louis, 11 01 (314) 555.com m to greene@msn May 12th ity Services Catholic Commun PO Box 1111 110 St. Louis, MO 63 urce Position Re: Human Reso

comprehensive urce department, so Re an m Hu ed e in a fast-pac oral and written Working executiv ent, and excellent nm ro vi en ic m na ion. My skills in a dy g to your HR posit in problem-solving br ld ou w I nd ou skills is the backgr communication history includes: man Resources fits Section of a Hu ne Be e th in e ic ent in beneomer serv ientation, enrollm or • Providing cust s’ fit ne be ee ing new employ department includ concerns. ting employee’s oo sh le ub tro d n Systems. fits programs an source Informatio Re an m Hu o tw rience with organization. • Hands-on expe n at all levels of an tio la pu po e rs ve e and experiwith a di t with knowledg en • Ability to work em ag an m s ce in Human Resour FMLA, EEOC. • Graduate work s including ADA, m ra og pr d an s g personal effecence with HR law ent and increasin em nc ha en ills sk training on • Presentation of nal conferences. atewide professio st at d an lly ca lo tiveness, training and formation on my in l na tio di ad u further. I mé will give yo uss the openings sc di d The enclosed resu an t ee m nity to preciated. ld like an opportu nsideration are ap co experience. I wou d an e tim ur Yo (314) 555-0111. can be reached at Sincerely,

Tom Greene Tom Greene

Tom landed this terrific job that he desperately wanted.

85

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 86

Winning Cover Letters

CANDICE—

Administrative services manager position JOB ANALYSIS AND LETTER

Candice wanted the job at this prestigious company so badly she could taste it. Terrific company, one with growth, was exactly where she wanted to move. Here’s the ad she’d found posted at the city library: Location: Administrative Services Department; Carillon Point, Kirkland Position: ADMINISTRATIVE SERVICES MANAGER Responsibilities: • Manage the Administrative Services Group for Sprint Cellular Communications, Inc. Corporate Headquarters. Areas of function responsibility include: Receptionist, Mailroom, Copy Center, General Office Management and Facilities Planning for our current space in Carillon Point and two buildings in the Plaza at Yarrow Bay (occupancy to take place late September, 1993 and mid March, 1994). • Corporate Headquarters presently houses approximately 350 persons, including 50 consultants. The Administrative Services manager’s duties will include maintaining relationships with the landlords for all tenant services, negotiating with vendors for office services, and managing day-to-day building operations. • Initially supervise a staff of six, with added personnel as expansion occurs in the Plaza at Yarrow Bay. • The position will require significant efforts in space planning and coordinating the locations, and remodeling in Carillon Point.

Qualifications: • Excellent communication, staff development, organization, planning, and negotiation skills. • Prior management experience. • Strong sense of team building. • Ability to deal with multiple landlords. • Ability to work independently in a dynamic high-technology environment. Please send resumé and cover letter specifying the position desired to: People Development Department Sprint Corporation Box 5400 Shawnee Mission, KS 66205

86

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 87

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Candice knew that this was a rapidly emerging company and very progressive. The NOTED NEEDS were: 1. Management of administrative services 2. Landlord/vendor dealings 3. Negotiating contracts 4. Space planning and construction build out 5. Excellent communication and organizational skills ASSUMED NEEDS:

1. Recruited, hired, and developed staff 2. Experience in a fast-growing company Here’s The Power Impact Technique letter that got her the interview:

87

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 88

Winning Cover Letters

Candice Frasier

Candice got the interview.

10322 Metcalf 66212 Overland Park, KS (913) 555-0111 o.com candy123@yaho

March 22nd

ent Department People Developm n Sprint Corporatio Box 5400 KS 66205 Shawnee Mission, MANAGER TRATIVE SERVICES Subject: ADMINIS ent:

People Developm

fice en expertise in of ten years of prov ith w er tions, ag tia an go M ct ne ration nstruction, contra Versatile Administ co , ng ni an pl n, velopment ace allocatio phasis on staff de em administration, sp ith w s, em st I’d bring ns, computer sy s the background ize ar m m su financial operatio fly ie br my experience panding company ion. Highlights of within a rapidly ex sit po er ag an M rative Services to your Administ ional compainclude: panding internat ex y dl pi ra 3 r fo e administration s analysis, hiring, • Established offic n, personnel need io ct tru ns co , ut procedures, fice layo ications, policies, nies including: of un m m co le te k, puter networ purchasing, com s. tory construction budgets, forecast office and labora on illi m .3 $1 of ting, and ect manager , compliance audi gs tin • Corporate proj ee m n io ct tions, constru including negotia 00 savings. sulting in $200,0 ors and bankers. s/deals with vend financial review re ct ra nt co 0+ 40 issues with negotiator on nflicts, problems, co g in • Tough contract lv so re lly t liaison successfu • Landlord/Tenan oductive team. compliance. otivated highly pr efficient, speedy m a to in f af st d d and develope • Recruited, hire als. d over 50 individu g effectively • Personally hire success in dealin y m to d de ad ihave d using my analyt munication skills joy challenges an My excellent com en I e. el nt ie I cl l n. nsio d internationa pid business expa with a diverse an y employer in ra m d ai to e past. ills th sk in l tiona oyers cal and organiza nefited my empl be ly ed at pe re s fulness ha make as a know my resource ribution I would nt co le ab lu va e tail th nge a meeting. scuss in greater de 555-0111 to arra ) I would like to di 13 (9 at d he ac am. I can be re part of Sprint’s te iated. n is most apprec Your consideratio Sincerely,

Candice Frasier Candice Frasier

88

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 89

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Candice was very disappointed when she left that interview. The job was not at a higher level of responsibility or salary that she was seeking. She declined a second interview and later went on to open her own company. TRACY—

Program director position JOB ANALYSIS AND LETTER

Tracy was hoping to move to the West Coast. She had outstanding qualifications for this job. But the cost of relocation was sure to negatively impact her candidacy. Since another peer encouraged her to apply, she knew her letter must focus on the results she had achieved at her current continuing education department to get serious consideration. Here’s the ad as it appeared in her association journal: DIRECTOR OF CONTINUING LEGAL EDUCATION The California State Bar Association is seeking candidates for the position of Director of the CLE Department. The Director supervises a staff of 18, reports to the Executive Director/CEO, and has budget responsibilities of approximately $9,600,000. The successful candidate for this position will have significant experience in adult continuing education, along with strong management, organization, programming, financial, and marketing skills. A law degree or legal experience is preferred, not required. The CSBA has approximately 70,000 active members and a staff of 90+. The position offers excellent benefits and a salary commensurate with qualifications and experience. Please submit resumés including salary requirements to: Deidre Templeton, HR Manager CSBA—500 Westin Building 20001 Sixth Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90015 CSBA is an Equal Opportunity Employer. The deadline for submitting applications is February 23. All communications will be treated on a confidential basis.

The NOTED NEEDS were: 1. Supervise staff of eighteen 2. Significant experience in continuing adult education 3. Strong management, programming, financial, and marketing skills 4. Law degree preferred (did not have)

89

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 90

Winning Cover Letters

The ASSUMED NEEDS: 1. Program development 2. Innovative programs that succeeded 3. Increasing attendance and revenues 4. Stellar performer in past job Tracy and I were not concerned that she lacked a law degree. We predicted they would have hundreds of lawyers with little meeting planning experience apply. They did. They also had over 100 qualified association executives competing for this highly paid, coveted position. Here’s The Power Impact Technique letter that Tracy sent:

90

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 91

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

P

Tracy Blacke, CM

#633 777 W. 57th Ave. 022 New York, NY 10 (212) 555-0111 om [email protected] February 9th

Executive Director

an, Mr. Dennis Hellm r Association California State Ba ing 500 Westin Build ue 2001 Sixth Aven 90015 Los Angeles, CA :

Dear Mr. Hellman

n for your ider my applicatio ns co u yo ve ha e to r, h’s urging, I’d lik you a little bette n. To familiarize At John Edenbaug io sit po n io at uc inuing Legal Ed Director of Cont ifications: some of my qual ram for let me highlight l education prog na sio es of pr ng ui contin ars directing the • I have eight ye n. edical Associatio the New York M million. from $2.9 to $6.1 es nu ve re al nu • Doubled an itability by 30%. in a significant • Increased prof ethods resulting m y er liv de d an se offerings • Increased cour ber satisfaction. d States. increase in mem ions in the Unite at ci so as e fiv p to National Meetone of the honors including l • Recognized as na sio es of pr d erous awards an t of the American • Winner of num ed as the Presiden rv se ly nt ce re d Year an ing Planner of the ation Executives. utions I’d Society of Associ e valuable contrib th ee itt m m co e . d th scuss with you an at (212) 555-0111 I would like to di I can be reached n. io at ci so As r ornia State Ba bring to the Calif Sincerely,

Tracy Blacke, CMP

Tracy landed the job with a $10,000 bonus.

P

Tracy Blacke, CM

91

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 92

Winning Cover Letters

Tracy flew out for an interview on Thursday and was called to come back in on Friday before she caught a plane back home. She was quite surprised to be offered the job and immediately was thrown into salary negotiations. A $10,000 signing bonus covered her relocation expenses, and she raves about it never snowing in southern California. LAURA—

Public relations position JOB ANALYSIS AND LETTER

Laura Krupnick wanted a new job in the very crowded field of public relations. She also needed a large company with good benefits and retirement plan. Competition for a public relations job in Chicago was enormous. When Laura heard me on the radio one day, she made a beeline to my seminar sponsored by a local college that night. After the program, she told me she needed my help in writing a cover letter that would finally get her noticed. Two days later she faxed me this ad: PR SPECIALIST needed to help increase public recognition of city’s recycling program. 5–7 years in PR, advertising or media is required. Experience in special events, PSAs are necessary. Must be postmarked no later than Mar. 1st. Mail to: Recycling Program City of Chicago, Personnel Dexter Horton Building Chicago, IL 17931

92

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 93

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Laura had noted on the fax that she’d learned from a friend who worked for the city that she really needed to stress her success with local media and events. So with that piece of information, these were the NOTED NEEDS: 1. Five to seven years’ experience 2. Successful media placements 3. Extensive events coordination ASSUMED NEEDS:

1. Creating the PSA, marketing and promotion, press releases, brochures, flyers, and pamphlets. Analysis of Laura’s skills brought out one important trait that might matter: She’d often gotten corporations to underwrite the costs of events, printing, and so forth. This was certainly worth mentioning. Here’s The Power Impact Technique letter that got Laura the interview:

93

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 94

Winning Cover Letters

Laura landed this and another position in the same week!

Laura Krupnick

e Apt. 21 1711 Michigan Av 3 Chicago, IL 1793 (312) 555-0111 [email protected] June 16th

Don Hayes rsonnel City of Chicago Pe dg. Dexter Horton Bl 1 Chicago, IL 1793 Dear Don:

and promomedia relations, , ns tio la re ic bl in pu lights of my proven expertise g Program. High in cl Over ten years of cy Re ’s ty Ci e th ound I’d bring to tions is the backgr e: s experience includ tes and numerou ree local TV affilia th l al on d re ai leases that • Wrote press re costs or events radio stations. derwrite program un to ps hi rs so corporate spon • Secured major eiman Marcus. d Airlines, and N ite and Un a, ic er Am ugh press releases ro th from Bank of d te ra ne ge blicity ed newspaper pu • Created repeat , PSAs, promomedia contacts. ts, media releases le ph m pa s, er fly hures, booklet, • Produced broc vertisements. cial, and print ad er m m co o di ra ptions, lunches, tional video, ing dinners, rece ud cl in , ts en ev l for planning, + specia tions. Responsible • Coordinated 45 bi hi ex , ts er nc co , conferences, cruitment, and exhibits, auctions icity, volunteer re bl pu s, ic st gi lo marketing, lodging, catering, budgeting. I could bring prole contributions ab lu va e th il ta scuss in greater de 5-0111 to I would like to di act me at (312) 55 nt co se ea Pl . rts recycling effo moting the City’s g. arrange a meetin t appreciated. ideration are mos ns co d an e tim Your Sincerely,

Laura Krupnick Laura Krupnick

94

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 95

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

High-Level Executive Cover Letters When an employer seeks to hire a senior member of the executive team they want to see evidence of four things:

✔ A solid, successful background ✔ Past accomplishments ✔ The ability to build a team that produces results ✔ An adaptable, “gets things done” personality The tone of letters can vary, depending on the recipient, as demonstrated in the following three examples. Barbara, our Vice President, responded to an ad in the Wall Street Journal. Her letter was “all business” in its approach. Our CFO Brent incorporated a more warm and personal approach, appropriate for the job with a state education association. Marilyn, our shopping center manager, used a brief but high-impact here’s-the-kind-of-results-I-produce approach. Each client’s letter worked, by adopting the Power Impact Technique and customizing the tone to fit the organization they applied to. BARBARA—

Vice president of administration position JOB ANALYSIS AND LETTER

Here’s the job announcement that ran in the Wall Street Journal that caught Barbara’s attention: VICE PRESIDENT OF ADMINISTRATION needed for international consulting group.

Challenging opportunity for successful executive with proven track record in creating systems, policies and procedures to help a top industry leader like us excel. In exchange for a higher than average salary, we are looking for ten years experience, human resource responsibility over 75 or more employees, superior computer systems skills and expertise in re-engineering and TQM systems. A strong communicator with formal presentation skills a must. Send letter of interest to: Box 55555, The Wall Street Journal.

Now this is a tough one. Whenever it’s a blind ad (you don’t know who the employer is), it requires more effort on your part to try to decipher the true needs and assumed skills. Blind ads typically get 50% fewer responses than want ads with noted employers, but since most Wall

95

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 96

Winning Cover Letters

Street Journal ads are blind, they often attract a higher percentage of responses. We began by writing out the NOTED NEEDS: 1. VP level—10 years’ experience 2. International consulting group 3. Track record creating systems policies and procedures 4. HR responsibility over 75+ employees 5. Computer systems expertise 6. Reengineering and TQM experience We also sketched out the ASSUMED NEEDS: 1. Development of employee accountability and productivity 2. Utilization and implementation of leading-edge technology Here’s The Power Impact Technique letter that Barbara sent:

96

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 97

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

r

Barbara WheAveele 14701 212nd 1 Ft Worth, TX 7525 11 01 (214) [email protected]

March 22nd

Box 55555 urnal The Wall Street Jo w 1233 Regal Ro Dallas, TX 75247 Concern: lly reimTo Whom It May r an internationa fo n tio ra ist in m of Ad rnal operations rience as Director in all facets of inte Fifteen years’ expe se rti pe ex ith w e to create g organization licy and procedur po of t bursed consultin en pm lo ve tability n including the de employee accoun of t en pm lo and administratio ve us the de President of and processes, pl ur position of Vice yo to efficient systems g in br I’d e , is the experienc and productivity ations for an Administration. ministrative oper ad e ag an m ly nt rre s anagement, I cu or responsibilitie As a part of top m support staff. Maj ve -fi ty en tw d essionals an office of fifty prof include: us employees. • Hiring of 150 pl l library. of a large technica ent system. • Development records managem l ed at m to au ed d users in a Loca isticat rving two hundre • Created a soph se t en rtm pa de t icro suppor • Established a m t. d an interAN) environmen s department an ic ph ra Area Network (L og pr re d g an e word-processin • Oversee a larg t. ents to partmen logy in all departm no nal accounting de ch te ge ed g plemented leadin • Successfully im ity and efficiency. velop continuous increase productiv ) techniques to de M Q (T t en em ag l Quality Man • Trained in Tota s. ent in office system tive in representprocess improvem and have been ac ls ve le l al at s nt inted posistaff and clie elected and appo ity un m I interact well with m co l ve -le ate n in several high ty, county, and st ing my organizatio esentations to ci pr e siv d ua rs an r pe to s negotia e numerou been an effective ve tions. I have mad ha d an rs to cies and legisla government agen these roles. This letter stood out administrator in s the valuable us sc di to u yo from over 1,000 ith eet w I would like to m tion’s success. za ni ga or ur yo others—she got the ight make to contribution I m interview. Sincerely,

Barbara Wheeler Barbara Wheeler

97

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 98

Winning Cover Letters

This ad drew unbelievable competition: over 1,000 responses! In fact, the recruiting process took over two months, and Barbara had “forgotten” about this job when this company’s recruiter called. She had a screening interview and was impressed with both the job and the company. The ad did not mention the job’s location or the fact that extensive travel would be required. Barbara did very well in the first interview. In the end, Barbara refused the company’s offer to fly back in for a final interview. She decided after her first visit that she did not want to move to Delaware. It was a difficult decision, since the company offered a terrific salary and overseas travel that very much appealed to her. It’s nice to know that you can always refuse a job, or an interview in this case, if it’s not a great fit in every aspect for you. MARILYN—

Shopping center manager position JOB ANALYSIS AND LETTER

Marilyn was thrilled to see this ad, as most real estate management positions had dried up as the local economy cooled off. Before we met she’d sent off over 100 cover letters to no avail. She was way overqualified for most of these positions. Her old letter also lacked the facts regarding the results she’d achieved in her past positions. She was excellent at her job, but she wrote a poor generic cover letter. A friend had recommended I help her. Our first step was to analyze the ad: SHOPPING CENTER MANAGER One of the nation’s largest shopping center development companies has an immediate opening for a manager. Candidate should have a BA Degree with excellent verbal and written communication skills. Should have previous experience in retail, property management or related field. For prompt consideration send resumé and salary history in confidence to: Box D608 Miami Herald P O Box 91019 Miami, FL 41114

Not much was listed for the NOTED NEEDS: 1. Degree 2. Previous experience

98

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 99

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Therefore, we spent some time analyzing the job based on what she’d done at her last position. Here’s what we came up with for ASSUMED NEEDS: 1. Proven experience managing large-scale shopping centers 2. Merchant launches 3. Produced results (i.e., increasing sales and profitability) 4. Coordinated special events and merchandising promotions

99

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 100

Winning Cover Letters

Here’s Marilyn’s Power Impact Technique letter:

Marilyn had five interviews (the last one was strictly on salary negotiations) and beat some of the top real estate managers in the country to land this coveted position.

Marilyn JessuDpr.

47 Independence 41134 Coral Cables, FL 01 (305) 555- 11 [email protected]

July 19th

Box D608 Miami Herald P.O. Box 91019 Miami, FL 41114 Dear Company:

arketing rable results in m su ea m e, bl ita of pr your Shopping rience producing rtise I’d bring to pe Twelve years’ expe ex e th is t en nter managem and shopping ce position. Center Manager e: background includ on in annual Highlights of my nters, $355 milli ce ng pi op sh an rb of four regional/u • Management center every urban shopping e, sales. al sc up r fo th 18% sales grow • Obtained up to in existence. n years mall was . year during seve erchant launches flooding, e than 50 new m or m d te r such disasters as na fo di t or en em • Co ag an m s isi operations and cr • Handled daily , expediently. m concept to ic relations scares andising events fro earthquakes, publ ch er m d an l ia ec large-scale sp • Organized 300 g to your conclusion. ions I would brin ut rib nt co le ab lu e va eciated. scuss in detail th ation is most appr er id ns co ur I would like to di Yo . 5-0111 ached at (305) 55 team. I can be re Sincerely,

Marilyn Jessup Marilyn Jessup

100

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 101

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Her letter was very straightforward in bringing out her accomplishments very quickly. “Twelve years’ experience producing profitable, measurable results . . .” was a very eye-catching lead-in. In the body, she declares, “Obtained 18% sales growth every year,” teasing the employer with a fact that surely matters to the owners. She reports that the job is very demanding and wonderfully fun all at the same time. She shared with me that before this ad, she’d gone almost three months without one solid job lead. These top positions were so few and far between. But—and it’s a big but—when the opening came, she put all her efforts into preparing the best self-marketing package she could. It just goes to show you—you need only one opportunity. BRENT—CFO POSITION-

Job Analysis Brent was a high-level executive who had suddenly been terminated from his job. He had not looked for a new position at all prior to his unexpected departure. Then he heard about an interesting financial position with the Nevada Education Association through his neighbor. The application deadline, however, was only two days away. The neighbor gave us a small amount of insider information. This job would be less intense, with fewer pressures and stresses than the job Brent had left. In fact, it was his personal decision to now secure a new job with fewer demands. This was a key goal for Brent. His priorities had changed after he realized that his 75-hour workweeks and constant “job first” attitude had already cost him a marriage. When he remarried a few years back, he scaled down his schedule to a more manageable 45- to 50-hour workweek. This left time to focus on his new wife and sons. The company, accustomed to getting more time and productivity from its high-level executive, pressured him for more hours and demoted him when he didn’t comply. Eventually, the conflict resulted in his being fired. He was furious over the whole situation and resolved to find a new CFO position in which he would be appreciated and could still have a life. The Education Association’s job seemed ideal for fulfilling his desire to successfully blend a good career and high-quality family life.

101

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 102

Winning Cover Letters

The Chief Financial Officer position’s noted requirements were:

✔ CFO overseeing all financial operations ✔ Manager with large staff of state employees ✔ Strong financial accounting skills Brent easily had the financial skills and experience. He had also managed a large, highly productive staff. I pointed out another clear (though unstated) need was to be likable and possess the ability to get along with many different people. This position would most likely oversee many people with varying skills and levels of productivity, so relating to all employees would be essential. Lastly, he noted, this job would pay less than the corporate one, but it was a five-minute commute from Brent’s home, saving him more than two hours a day in driving, which was very appealing. Here’s the letter that landed him the job.

102

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 103

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

m Brent Allstroen ue

Av 571 Desert Pine 000 87 V N s, ga Las Ve (414) 555-1212 [email protected]

He landed the job, and a five-minute commute too.

May 10th

n Association Nevada Educatio orth 34 8th Avenue N 002 Las Vegas, NV 87 er of Personnel Attention: Manag ation Association: se Dear Nevada Educ ith proven experti management, w al ci an fin ein s ag ar an sh m cludes 22 ye investing and ca My experience in and procedures, s ie lic po porting. I am al re ci al an fin e and financi nc ia pl m in administrating co x ta r. ing, ief Financial Office systems, budget the position of Ch ment, computer r fo y pl ap to ty the opportuni pleased to have e: k experience includ ta processing, ris Highlights of my management, da sh ca x, ta . g, ns tin tio accoun tive services func • Managed the oll and administra yr pa s, ration, selecrd ist co in re m t, ing salary ad managemen ud cl in s, ed ne s man resource • Administered hu f of 35. evaluation for staf budgeting, invest tion, training and ns for improved io at ic pl ap e ar omized softw st accounting. • Developed cust e accrual and co ns pe ex d an e nu ve controls for cash ment analysis, re g procedures and tin un co ac d te implemen • Designed and ter systems. ments and compu st ve in g, sin es oc pr ees, managealing with employ de in or at ic un m y experience an effective com cial leadership. M an fin y My ability to be m of th reng ucation e parties is the st to the Nevada Ed n io ut rib nt co ment and outsid le valuab support and be le me to make a so be gratifying to al ld and skills will enab ou w It r. ce blic schools ief Financial Offi nded Nevada pu te at ng vi Association as Ch Ha . em s syst n in the Las Vega ada public school ving four childre a part of the Nev ha d an , ol dge le ho sc ow nd kn n from high e 12, I have firstha ad gr through graduatio to n te ar rg nging from kinde ol system. School District, ra of our public scho ity al qu d an e nc ion I of the importa tail the contribut de r te ea gr in s us ty to disc me at (414) 555te the opportuni n. Please contact io at I would apprecia ci so As n io at e Nevada Educ would make to th a meeting. 1212 to arrange Sincerely,

Brent Allstrom A Brent Allstrom, CP

103

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 104

Winning Cover Letters

You must adapt your letter’s tone to meet that of the company with which you are seeking employment. Whereas Brent used a warmer, more friendly tone, that approach is unlikely to be successful when applying for a position as a manufacturing vice president. In this case, stressing outcomes and produced results is essential, so Bill Kelleher used the bullet approach to concisely illustrate his skills. It’s easy to see his major selling points, and his impressive accomplishments catch your eye. It’s a different style, appealing to a different type of employer than the association job Brent applied for. This direct approach often successfully catches employers’ eyes. It worked for Bill—the technique landed him the interview.

104

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 105

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Bill Kelleher

5 D Alley Drive 001 Arlington, VA 21 (212) 555-1212 om [email protected]

Got him the interview for VP of Manufacturing.

August 23rd

Daniel Grezerski al Systems Marquette Medic Avenue 8200 West Tower 0 Trenton, NJ 4710 uipment manuical diagnostic eq ed m in ip sh er ad g profit, ck record of le rience in increasin pe ex nt lle With a proven tra ce ex g brin erations, I would organization. facturing and op ng costs to your ci du re d an ity tiv uc enhancing prod e: cted teams background includ based on self-dire re ltu Highlights of my cu g rin tu eved of a new manufac vels. Results: achi • Establishment to high quality le g in ad le t en em prov se in profits. and continuous im $3.5 million increa us pl , se ea ity increase cr in ed 26% productiv ev 20% productivity hi ac : lts su Re tion turn-around. • Headed produc ions. illion over preannual cost reduct sults: saved $13 m Re with $2 million in . er nt ce ir pa re set up new part • Designed and s costs. rge, complex uct backlog of la vious repair proces od pr th on -m six units per month ion effort on oduction from 19 pr d • Directed reduct se ea cr in : lts manufacic device. Resu and same per unit el lev medical diagnost ity al qu ng aini onth while maint to 30 units per m turing cost. per who can llent team develo ce ex an g in be the compride myself on s to contribute to ee oy pl As you can see, I em e tiv uc build highly prod exceed goals and pany’s success. ributions I could the valuable cont of e m so u yo ith w days to learn discussing w I’ll call you in a fe . ns I am interested in io at er op g te’s manufacturin 12) 555-1212. contact me at (2 make to Marquet to e fre el Fe s. ed current ne more about your uch appreciated. nsideration are m co d an e tim ur Yo

Dear Daniel:

Sincerely,

Bill Kelleher Bill Kelleher

105

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 106

Winning Cover Letters

Terrific Job Search Resources and Advice Bonus

85% of all jobs are never advertised!

By now you may be wondering exactly how people are finding all these job openings. Some were in the newspaper, but others required detective skills. The want ads cover only 7 to 8% of all jobs currently available. Too often, job hunters simply don’t know where else to look. Here are some good avenues to pursue.

GO TO THE LIBRARY

Conduct some market research to analyze where the best opportunities lie for you. Your goal is to reach the hiring manager—your potential boss— not the human resources department. Ask the reference librarian to help you locate the following resources, and you’ll be on your way to finding out about many hidden opportunities. Start out with old newspapers and check the ads—oftentimes people don’t work out, so a phone call or sending a prospect letter (in forthcoming chapters) can be quite effective. Look at annual reports, trade magazines, CD-ROM computerized employer data, trade journals, Yellow Pages, business directories, and online resources. A couple good ones to check out are Hoover’s Handbook of American Business, Hoover’s Master List of America’s Top 2,500 Employers, The Thomas Registers, Million Dollar Directory, as well as Standard and Poor’s Registry of Corporations, Directors and Executives. Another great library resource is the database system called Infotrac, which has reams of information on more than 150,000 companies based on articles from newspapers, magazines, and trade journals. USE THE INTERNET

The information highway lists thousands and thousands of job openings. The big trick is not spending all your time just looking for them. The best places to look for leads are on a company’s web page. These are often found by typing in www.companyname.com (e.g., www.costco.com). There are also many career websites out there that carry extensive lists of job openings. Be prepared to search out the geographical location and job title you seek, since there is no easy index to do that for you.

106

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 107

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

NETWORK

Ask family, friends, and colleagues for assistance in tracking down people on your list of companies. Be open to adding new companies that they may bring to your attention. Finally, in Chapter 6 of this book, I’ll teach you about self-marketing letters—another terrific way to probe openings and get employers’ attention. For more information on looking for a new position, consult my book, What to Do with the Rest of Your Life (Simon & Schuster), available on my website at www.robinryan.com.

Two-thirds of all jobs are found by obtaining a lead through your contacts.

Internal Promotions Applying for a job internally can be tricky. You may know the head of the department that interests you; perhaps you’ve spoken to that person about the possibilities for employment there. David had worked for three years inside a very large company in the customer service area. He loved computers and helping people. He called for my assistance when he learned that there might be an internal opening in the technical support area. We created this friendly letter that was the beginning of his move into the new department. Notice we did not stress most of his current duties, since they had little relationship to being a technical support person. We kept the letter short and friendly—it did the trick. He followed up a few days later with a phone call, and he got the interview.

107

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 108

Winning Cover Letters

Here’s David’s Power Impact Technique letter: David got the job. He has since been promoted to supervisor of technical support.

David Staden

1 Main Street City, NY 10036 home (201) 555-0111 office (201) 555-3333 .com DSTADEN@viacom June 24th use Ms. Marion Spro 215 e Americas, Suite 712 Avenue of Th 020 New York, NY 10 e:

Dear Ms. Sprous

department in training other d lle ce ex e I’v ns. e years at Viacom ftware applicatio Over the last thre r systems and so te pu m co r r te ou pu r com ployees on n’t figure out thei ca managers and em ey th n he w lls or l supp t at everyone ca enjoy the technica ly al re I I’m the person th . es lti cu ffi position where ving technical di oving into a new problem or are ha m in ed st re te in I’m a very and am very mputer training. co d aspect of my job an t or pp su and excel ility is technical are applications ftw so d an the sole responsib s em st sy I’ve demonall our company’s employees alike. l familiar user with ca ni ch te nno e productechnical and ople become mor pe lp at teaching both he y el iv ct the ability to effe strated that I have tive at their jobs. eds, and the t your current ne ou ab e or m n ar le couple of days to I will call you in a t. en rtm g in your depa potential openin Sincerely,

David Staden David Staden

108

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 109

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Targeting Your Skills to Different Types of Organizations Corporate cultures differ from each other and can be significantly different from nonprofits or governmental organizations. I’ve selected these two letters to show how one client using The Power Impact Technique diagnosed the NOTED and ASSUMED needs for the same job at two very different organizations. JOB ANALYSIS

The first is for a corporation that was rapidly expanding. NOTED NEEDS:

1. Eight years’ experience 2. Banking experience 3. Forecasting and budgeting 4. Administration of human resources 5. Computer systems and LAN expertise ASSUMED NEEDS:

1. Expanding companies need proven, innovative leaders. Hard-core results and analytical strengths must be demonstrated. You’ll notice that we placed Aaron’s “CPA” title right after his name. This is an important credential that should be quickly brought to the employer’s attention. This is The Power Impact Technique letter that got him the interview:

109

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 110

Winning Cover Letters

PA

Aaron Hientz, C

1 Main Street Tulsa, OK 74107 (918) 555-0111 om [email protected]

April 21st

Supra Products s-CFO Human Resource PO Box 3167 Tulsa, OK 74158 siness expanen expertise in bu ov pr ith w t en em mputer systems, or financial manag x accounting, co Ten years in seni ta , ps hi ns tio la re Controller ed banking I’d bring to your nd ou sion, well-develop gr ck ba e th management is costing, and cash position. include: accomplishments Highlights of my n acquisition from rtise, having take pe ex g in et dg bu sting and • Extensive foreca 24 months. profit mar$17M–$31M in alysis to identify an s le sa t uc od pr e cash of comprehensiv y management, • Development nificant inventor sig in ng lti su re erhead gins, costing, ov . g improvements tin oll, employflow and marke ing: benefits, payr ud cl in ns tio nc fu human resource • Administrated n for staff of 50. ker compensatio or w are prog, in in tra w, ment la oped custom softw el ev D . ny pa m co for new LAN system productivity. • Installed entire sting to maximize co y, or nt ve in g, in ic grams on invo cultural ith diverse, crossw k or w to or at to munic ship. I would like an effective com y financial leader m My ability to be of th ng se re ea st Pl e pra. anagers is th ould make to Su employees and m contributions I w le ab lu va e th il r deta g. discuss in greate arrange a meetin 18) 555-0111 to (9 at e m t ac nt co preciated. ation are most ap er id ns co d an e Your tim

Dear Supra,

Sincerely,

Aaron Hientz, CPA A Aaron Hientz, CP

110

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 111

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Interestingly enough, this strong business approach would not have worked well for the Kidney Foundation job Aaron also wanted to apply for. A softer, more flowing, personalized manager had to be presented. The NOTED NEEDS stated: 1. CPA preferred 2. Five to eight years in finance/accounting 3. Computer experience with LAN systems 4. Team player ASSUMED NEEDS:

1. Strong interpersonal skills Here’s The Power Impact Technique letter that also opened the door for Aaron at this nonprofit:

111

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 112

Winning Cover Letters

PA

Aaron Hientz, C

1 Main Street Tulsa, OK 74107 (918) 555-0111 om [email protected] August 1st

Center Midwest Kidney E 617 Eastlake Ave. Tulsa, OK 74123 dney Center:

, accounting man rategic planning st in s th ng re st to g in cial leader with background I’d br As a proven finan ease consider the pl t, en pm lo ve am de agement, and te Finance position. of , your Director s and procedures innovative policie d te en em y pl M . im ity per, I have aximize productiv As a team develo d paperwork to m an s st my previous co to t ed se lin am portant as im an en changes that stre be s ha area erations selecting mputer systems organization’s op strength in the co e tir en r ou ed at ns is my forte. I’ve autom ftware applicatio so on employer in which rs he ot ng N system. Traini care and and installing a LA s with managed ce fa ry st du in re thca ng skills, plus effiges that the heal with good planni The radical chan am te al ci an fin a re require national healthca ng marketplace. ble to the changi ta ap ad is at th ciency I’d bring to your le contributions ab lu va e th il ta 555-0111. scuss in greater de reached at (918) be n ca I I would like to di y. lit bi ofita velopment and pr financial team de n is appreciated. Your consideratio

Dear Midwest Ki

Sincerely,

Aaron Hientz, CPA A Aaron Hientz, CP

The manufacturing job was the one he really wanted and accepted!

112

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 113

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

These letters are from the very same person. The tone of each letter is quite different. They stress the strengths that would be important to each organization. Aaron told me he learned a lot from this experience—the necessity to stress how you can meet that specific employer’s needs. Aaron had interviews with both employers and left feeling that he could do both jobs well and would succeed in either position.

Referral Occasionally a friend or colleague known to the employer will tell you about a position. Always use that individual’s name to start your letter since it will garner special attention. Keith’s colleague told him about a great new opportunity. This referral plus the stated evidence of past success and his management style got him an interview. After two days and six candidates, Keith was offered the job—a position he still holds today. Alvin’s wife actually called an old employer and learned about this job. It was important to show interest, skills, and a good communication style. He indeed got an interview, but he later turned down this job for another offer that he received. Alvin had been a consultant and used that to aid him in his letter to assure the employer of his strong ability to perform this engineering job. He also pointed out he had been in Kuwait and thus knew what was needed and what he’d be undertaking if he went to Saudi Arabia, where this position was located. It was a dark day when Kay’s boss told her he was letting her go. After a tough weekend, she went straight to work on finding a new position. A former employer told her about this dream job at Running Magazine so we got together and created an influential letter to send to their advertising manager.

113

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 114

Winning Cover Letters

Keith became their new chief executive officer!

one Keith Whitest Drive

1 Cobblestone Jersey 07078 Short Hills, New (201) 555-0111 .com kwhitestone@msn

March 24th

n Ms. Melissa Lincol n io at ABC Corpor er Plaza 1700 Jersey Cent 310 Jersey City, NJ 07 Dear Ms. Lincoln:

garding d I contact you re de en m m co re r, Cellula and finance esident of Metro strong marketing y m Dave Thomas, Pr ith w r ilia m l teams CEO, as he is fa oductive personne pr ng pi lo your search for a ve de r n fo known reputatio background and company. es within a growing nce which includ oad based experie br of s ar ye s, et 10 budg esident, I have loping complex As a company Pr ofits by 9%, deve pr s le sa performing g as sin l el ea , incr ems, as w st sy g in st ca product launches re fo and financial reporting establishing solid c planning. business/strategi ive way to ions are an effect ut rib nt co am te to and action that ch staff member I believe in words what motivates ea g in nd a high ta rs ith w de n Un goals. mpletio ation levels for co achieve company ct pe ex d an s or al l supp t and e, setting go ted with continua en m le achieve excellenc pp su , ity aluating ncy and productiv experienced in ev am I e. pl degree of proficie am ex ad by th strengths and e job success. I le vels to identify bo le leadership achiev us rio va at rs gies to focus of staff membe help design strate s, al go the performance of t en m e undert with the establish person’s complet a p lo ve de weaknesses, assis d an ent, ny’s goals as a quiring improvem e” and the compa ur ct efforts on areas re pi ig “b e th contribution to standing of their ould bring whole. and the value I w nd ou gr ck ba y m tail n be reached at scuss in greater de d profitability. I ca I would like to di an t en pm lo ve ion’s team de to ABC Corporat (201) 555-0111. Sincerely,

Keith Whitestone Keith Whitestone

114

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 115

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Alvin Mayes

et SE 27211-200th Stre 90038 Los Angeles, CA (213) 555-0111 [email protected] January 28th HR Director James Rodriguez, ect Saudi Arabia Proj s Company Ralph M. Parson e. 100 W. Walnut Av 124 Pasadena, CA 91 you for bered her. Thank em m re u yo at th ed pleasantly surpris d, my resumé is t and, as promise My wife Mary was ec oj pr ia ab Ar i t your Saud telling her all abou ars of engiattached. me. I bring 15 ye to g tin ci ex ry ve Most of my udi Arabia sound d pipeline areas. an n tio ra The projects in Sa ne ge wer wait, thus, I am t design in the po t 14 months in Ku en neering equipmen sp I . er ne gi en udi Arabia as a consulting demands your Sa k or w d career has been an s m le the technical prob very familiar with quire. position would re rumentation and g 15 years in inst in br I’d e, , nd ou gr ement experienc ize my back g project manag in er To briefly summar ne gi d en an e s iv ocesse t design, extens of streamlining pr rd co re control equipmen ck tra a and enced by the ooting expertise, tivity. This is evid uc proven troublesh od pr se ea cr in by duce costs and d the man hours procedures to re in which I reduce ns sig de t an pl er e pow work I did on fiv $100,000. er to 4100, saving ov ns I would bring luable contributio va e th il nta sig de r as te e es scuss in grea do understand th I would like to di other projects. I on or ia I am ab re Ar he i ud Sa go anyw Parsons, either in e than willing to or m am I d an g. mpanied arrange a meetin ments are unacco 13) 555-0111 to (2 at d he ac re needed. I can be iated. n is most apprec Your consideratio

Dear Jim,

Sincerely,

Alvin Mayes Alvin Mayes

115

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 116

Winning Cover Letters

This employer called her for an interview just minutes after reading her letter.

et, Apt 201 74 East 75th Stre 016 New York, NY 10 (212) 555-0111 m [email protected]

s, Advertising Mr. José Gonzale e Running Magazin 10 Fifth Avenue 010 New York, NY 10 s:

Kay Quinn

September 14th

Director

d keting skills I coul the sales and mar t ou ab I have ay , id 94 Fr t 19 g since e with you las bscriber of Runnin su d Tom Norton spok an n fa ost id m av lt, As a resu magazine. As an past three years. e th r fo bring to Running ds en fri ue— sest iptions to my clo ofesses in each iss given gift subscr what Running pr I, ve ha as , ed er h. healt have discov fitness and good of the recipients ay to a lifetime of w e bl ya jo en t os a strong track Running is the m magazine, I have g in nn Ru r fo m usias erever I’ve erwhelming enth doubling sales wh tly en ist ns co , ns Aside from my ov blic relatio ered me “among arketing, and pu ical Journal consid ed M record in sales, m n ica er Am e to my profiy employer at th my success in sales te bu tri worked. In fact, m at I ” d. re hi ques, in conople he had ever w-through techni llo fo d te the best sales pe ca di de d, d my the key to satisfie g relationships an and client needs— ciency at buildin rst de un d an n te ability to lis junction with my nal comloyal customers. st Fall, as my perso La . ills sk ng ni an de d event pl event called “Stri ve promotion an ed a brand new at in Additionally, I ha ig or I , proity e th un d m, hire h and my comm anned the progra pl I l, mitment to healt ita sp ho l na ca lo the Natio l rtnership with a K race to benefit 10 a r fo with Pride.” In pa ty ici bl pu ing and obtained the by Olympic runn a demonstration fessional speakers, to ed at Sarantre n e sa er w Su actress Attendees of Oscar-winning ds Heart Association. or w ng is iri th sp of in ng result son and to the g. The outstandi in nn coach Jacob Stet ru of s fit ne . ed the healthy be strong ever since don, who acclaim that’s been going b clu g in nn ru a rtiseation of create more adve event was the cr ideas on how to on illi m a to s ith er w crib already buzzing revenues and subs Mr. Gonzales, I’m to increase both ns io ot as two ell om w pr d as re sponso My resumé, u. yo ith w s ing partners and ea id you to e these re Friday, I’ll call e. I’d love to shar ar from you befo Running magazin he t n’ do I If w. endation follo needs might be. letters of recomm what your current of n tio rip sc de te get a more accura appreciated. d time are most an n io at er id ns Your co

Dear Mr. Gonzale

Best Regards,

Kay Quinn Kay Quinn

116

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 117

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Insider Information So many advertisements leave out the important distinctions of what matters most to employers. Ads and job announcements are often filled with dozens of requirements, where what to stress and what the top priorities are can seem quite unclear. This strategy has worked well for many of my clients. Call the organization and try to discuss the job with the departing manager if possible. Marietta did just that. Her 35-minute phone call (and fast note-taking) allowed her to write a great Power Impact Technique letter that got her an immediate interview five days after she mailed it. Here’s Marietta’s Power Impact Technique letter:

117

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 118

Winning Cover Letters

n

so Marietta Hudriv e

417 Big Cattle D Dallas, TX 75241 (214) 555-0111 net mhudson@quick.

February 22nd

Mr. Palmer 1233 Regal Row Dallas, TX 75247 :

Dear Mr. Palmer

th sed at great leng and I have discus , er ag an indim an r HR fo need departing ce Manager. Your ur Kate Brown, your so Re an m Hu ns unio and ry’s needs in a alt effectively with de ng vi Brookshire Groce ha il ta re in mpletely ralist experience ecutive team—co ex e th of rt vidual with gene pa g ributin ent who is a cont upper managem ground. ser, and Assisdescribes my back buyer, merchandi s, le sa g in ud cl in My expetail experience, source Manager. Re an m Hu I have 19 years’ re as e er ars w er. My last six ye tant Store Manag ng hired thoucompliance, havi l ga rience includes: le g, in in tra tment, selection, agement. • Hiring—recrui lowest to top man m fro s implementation, ee oy pl sands of em ns, interpretation, tio tia go ne ct ra —union cont s. • Labor Relations different contract e review over 12 nc va ie es for over 10,000 gr ur e, ed nc oc ia compl policies, pr te da up d an e streamlin • Administration— nce procesee union grieva er ov employees. g, lin se un e co unseling. tions—one on on d harassment co an • Employee Rela s, ue iss al on rs lution, pe king with departam, actively wor dure, conflict reso te e iv ut ec ex of se active, vital part uctivity to increa • Team Player— imize worker prod ax m s, al go ny pa com ments to achieve . profit margins luable contribug to discuss the va tin ee m a e ng ra ation are few days to ar time and consider ur Yo . I will call you in a am te e iv ut part of your exec tions I’d make as most appreciated. Sincerely,

Marietta Hudson Marietta Hudson

Marietta got an immediate interview.

118

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 119

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Volunteer Experience/Reentry Many women leave the workplace to raise a family. They often choose to return years later, many times because divorce or financial burdens make working a necessity. Too often, women in these circumstances approach me saying, “I need a job. I haven’t worked, so I can’t offer any experience. Can you help me?” Elizabeth was one such person. In fact, I often tell people her story and that she said, “I have nothing to sell the employer.” She had done volunteer work—a lot of it—but nothing was ever paid. We emphasized what she had done—event planning, fundraising, marketing and promotion, and budget work. Fundraisers, the job Elizabeth was most qualified for, must demonstrate organizational and communication skills. A track record of raising money is helpful to strengthen the appeal of the candidate. The want ad for this job provided very little information beyond the job title and where to send your resumé. So we covered all the major tasks they were likely to want Elizabeth to do—event planning, solicitation, and marketing—as a part of our job analysis of ASSUMED needs. No one was more surprised than Elizabeth when this employer called her in for an interview.

119

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 120

Winning Cover Letters

ille

Elizabeth Granv

Drive 1770 Kirsty Main 138 Memphis, TN 38 (901) 555-0111 om [email protected]

August 7th

Executive Director hool Kellman Blind Sc 1620 18th Ave. 103 Memphis, TN 38 irector,

Dear Executive D

marketing, oven expertise in pr ith w ng ni an t pl ndraiser solicitation, even I’d bring your Fu nd ou gr ck ba Fundraising, gift e ng is th d strategic planni media relations an position. e: experience includ attendees. Highlights of my ce, attracted 600 en er nf co l na tio y. d chaired 3 day na ganization’s histor • Coordinated an ake a profit in or m to ce en er nf s, he . Only co s, receptions, lunc Budget $100,000 including dinner , ts en ev r planning, l fo ia le ec sib sp + ns. Respon tio bi hi ex • Coordinated 55 , ts er nc , conferences, co recruitment, and exhibits, auctions blicity, volunteer pu s, ic st gi lo g, marketin lodging, catering, ns on $3.6 million budgeting. resource allocatio ng di ci de r be ittee mem • Budget comm PSAs, promo, media releases, ts budget. le ph m pa s, er hures, booklet, fly sements. • Produced broc cial, print adverti er m m co o di ra to tional video, ns I could bring luable contributio va e th il ta de r te g. scuss in grea arrange a meetin I would like to di 01) 555-0111 to (9 at e m t ac nt co the School. Please eciated. ion are most appr at er id ns co d an Your time Sincerely,

Elizabeth Granville Elizabeth Granville

Elizabeth landed her first paying job at an impressive starting salary.

120

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 121

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

During my coaching session with Elizabeth, I did point out that she lacked one necessary skill that would tremendously limit her on a job. She had no computer skills at all. I recommended she immediately enroll in two classes: Introduction to Computers and MS Word. She did so the very next day. Eight weeks after that session, she started her new job. She was able to do well and succeed. She told me, “You were right. I would never have made it past day two if I hadn’t taken those computer classes. I’m not terrific yet, but I can get by and do my job, and I just love cashing my own paycheck.” Elizabeth is one of the few who realize that sometimes adding a little training to update your skills, plus selling volunteer experience, can result in a $31,000-a-year job right out of the gate. Employers care about experience; whether it’s paid or not has little relevance to them, as long as you’ve done it. So be sure to incorporate associations and civic and community service experience whenever it’s relevant to performing the job advertised.

121

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 122

Winning Cover Letters

New Graduates Bachelor’s Degree Getting that first job right out of college can seem nearly impossible when you have little, if any, work experience. Employers worry about your “not yet proven” work ethic or your willingness to stay at their job awhile once they’ve trained you. College students worry about their lack of experience and seem to think they have no skills to offer an employer. Every student has acquired some skills during his or her college experience. Common ones to point out include the following: 1. Computer skills 2. Good communication skills 3. Research abilities 4. Report writing 5. Time management 6. Organizational skills 7. Good work habits 8. Ability to work in a team 9. Customer service Jeff was a client who had recently graduated with a B.S. in Business. We analyzed his work experience from his summer jobs at McDonald’s and a warehouse, then wrote a great cover letter that got an interview with Verizon. Here’s Jeff’s Power Impact Technique letter:

122

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 123

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Jeff Hillmere

le 72 Cleveland Circ 131 Brighton, MA 02 (617) 555-0111 m [email protected] November 13th uct Manager Bob Sewell, Prod Verizon NE 2223-112th Ave. 6 Boston, MA 0213

entative Position

er Service Repres

stom Re: Marketing/Cu Dear Mr. Sewell:

service is ess and customer sin bu in n tio da foun oriented, able to ker with a strong zation. I’m goal A motivated wor ni ga or ur yo to that I’d bring ne. the background to get the job do proven reliability ith w sk ta e th ps focus on ilding relationshi e experience in bu iv ns te an ex en ith be w s s alway ersonal skills able solutions ha pt ce My strong interp ac d fin g in to s rit l at w oblems or issue vanced and I exce ad e ar and mediating pr ills sk r te pu archployers. My com reds of hours rese nd hu ed gg lo asset to former em ve tters. I ha mputerized able reports or le d accurate on co an k clear, understand ic qu th bo databases. I am ing computerized entries. . I work well on anagement skills m e tim d an l na d work oped organizatio le. I have develope ho w a as I have well-devel am te e th work, ays contribute to ide in doing good pr il, ta de to n my own, but alw io l—attent lution abilities. ake me successfu good conflict reso us pl habits that will m , ills sk l na e and interperso d make to excellent telephon ntributions I coul co le ab lu va e th scuss eet with you to di I would like to m 555-0111. at reached (617) be n ca I . ny pa m your co ost appreciated. n and time are m Your consideratio Jeff landed his first job, then excelled at Verizon and received a promoSincerely, tion after his first year.

Jeff Hillmere Jeff Hillmere

123

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 124

Winning Cover Letters

The MBA Challenge At one time an MBA was a ticket to some of the best jobs in the country. Today it is simply a part of the package of skills you sell to an employer. One HR manager sent along this letter that she received from an MBA who sought a job within her organization. “Here’s a classic,” she wrote, “I can’t believe anyone would send this out. It had a weak resumé and eleven—eleven—references listed. Please! This cover letter is so typical of what we get from these applicants. The ‘I can do anything, but I don’t know what position you would hire me for’ type. You might want to show this as what not to do.” For confidentiality’s sake, the name of the company and college have been changed to those of equal stature, but nothing else in this letter has been changed. Once you’ve read this letter, you will have a better understanding of why this company regards letters like these as truly wasted efforts. One thing you should also realize is that Allen, our MBA letter writer, possesses some very important, usable skills that a company would find quite appealing if he would target his efforts toward specific jobs instead of using the poor approach shown here.

124

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 125

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

TT ER EX A M PL E BA D C O V ER LE Allen Delloitson

777 Un

Tallahassee, ion Street #B2,

FL 32306 (904)

555-1111

ken el Service: iversity, I have ta Dear United Parc m Florida State Un fro I am a e te us ua ca ad Be gr . st elf MBA Augu before mys t be se os t-t al ou go g ab in an ris As ds d at enterp rtant factor towar hieve and succee success is an impo active at th ), an initiative to ac rs ct te fa es e m th se to ll (for three t, only adds Ro en or ud on st H g in ts rn en tu id re e Pres manager of KXRH ese objectives. Th d as a volunteer an , r) re su ea Tr l accomplishing th (Hal Marketing, vernment issues al businesses in re g in yz al an participation in go d g an n at Florida State. g with examinin y formal educatio m of rt pa into l al radio station, alon e ar , inued education d Finance projects ement) and cont ag s. Most an es (M cc Management, an n su tio r ra fo s Administ y ideology es m ts sin or Bu pp in su ee e) gr nc A de a high keting/Fina hile maintaining BA program (Mar ma to cut cost, w lem grounds di Florida State’s M g ck ba sin s ea es cr in g an ever ork and busin cin w fa am e Te ar t. es en ni pa nm com most e enviro acks throughout ithin a competitiv met. Recent cutb quality product w be t concern for to or ts pp en su m t ire these requ s environmen es sin bu e iv tit are essential for pe com ce redundancy d an increasingly each other to redu ith w te la nd in re at organizations an th ns equate backgrou ng specific functio y difficult. An ad gl sin ea cr r this idea. Identifyi in fo s be ol ntial to t cost are going to KETING are esse and ultimately cu NANCE, & MAR FI T, utilizing the EN se ur EM co AG of AN quality, and , ity gr ACCOUNTING, M te in eative abilities e’s ic ogram and my cr d Parcel Serv pr ite BA Un M ng e’s ni at ai St nt mai . Florida sources efficiently organization’s re strategic planning rds. ting, along with na di or co n, io ct ra meet these standa te tasks. Prior work cilitating team in e aforementioned th ish pl Team building, fa m co ac to me management, s I have acquired , ranging from so s) ee n, gr de of are necessary tool n io et y formal educatio ars prior to compl y in addition to m bl m se as e d experience (7 ye es an Th g . ns g, manufacturin ing of organizatio sales, telemarketin ge and understand proper led k, ow or w kn y am m te to in ed able lessons lu va in have all contribut ht ug ial tools needed ta nt se upon have inking. Es th aw e dr I tiv at ea th cr s d ce an ur , reso tent teams , leading d facilitate compe strategic planning an n, ild tio bu ica to un y m ar m ss co e nece e’s goals. n! These tools ar , ited Parcel Servic in any organizatio Un t ee m HTML, Java, Basic to d an nization r programming in rte te pu In m D, co OR in within your orga W e , nc readsheets sp l g and experie ce in in Ex g tra in d e, us ar ha y ftw ve I ha capabilit tions so ry telecommunica mpetent with high ta co rie am nop I pr Co . al ). t), sc er Ac Pa and p, Publish (Access, Adobe Photosho tlook, databases t, Ou in to , Po e rs se er tim ow ow tle br (P lit t e s ne ar take at new software presentations softw has taught me th and graphics and ge in UNIX, et led rn te ow In e Kn th e. m tim ng fro ort periods of sh in ith or the HP mini sistent downloadi w r rs te te as rame compu with and m nf ai ed m nt ai M IB qu ac ith e w m beco urses along with ks, along eracy. Science co ws using networ lit do r in te pliW pu d m an co /2 in e OS tenc reseeing future ap to further compe chnology) and fo te el in rc st Pa re d te in ite mainframes adds of Un ide nology (because le insight to prov reading about tech gy give me valuab lo no ch te of ns . io quire cations and direct interpret and the future will re tional skills that ground allow me ck ba d an s tie ili Service with addi e ab ible and d communicativ technology into leg or , ce ien sc My analytical an s, es busin plicated areas of then convey com

125

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 126

Winning Cover Letters

nt this is an importa n. As you know, tio ar za ni cle ga un or of e th ng ut erstandi asoning througho ithout any misund w el ed fe I ey is, nv comprehensible re th co s of al e us communicative go isinterpreted. Beca factor by getting t proportion or m ou help United n ay ow m bl ts be len n ta te n of area where my l na when issues, which ca tio di ad pe an work ex rience ns would be skills in previous PR d that public relatio te ra st on m have also de s Parcel Service. I problems. to meet the need ers concerns and om e and the ability st nc te pe m co re , addressing cu ce ng demonstrated sin e has a challengi I hope that I have ited Parcel Servic Un perience at ex th k or ng w pi r io ho pr tion. I am with some te ua ad their gr BA of your organiza M pr us chance to ove ion for an ambitio and potential the ts am len te ta e y at professional posit m or of rp rvice’s co g to give a person United Parcel Se of rt n pa tio a and who is willin za be ni to ga e ur or ld sincerely lik t the needs of yo worthiness. I wou every way, to mee in ding edge of e, lea ut e rib th nt on co simple, to be e ar s and the chance to an pl gic planning, y M . teamwork, strate anging times te ch ita e cil es fa th , h ny ug pa ro m th e co nsider me for ish a loyalty to on courage you to co en I . ity gr te in technology, establ ith sw nance, Human ganizational goal her Marketing, Fi ot y an or n io and accomplish or sit po e’s nsation Analyst ited Parcel Servic the current Compe within realm of Un ns io sit po t en agem Resource, or Man n. tio za organi Sincerely,

Allen Delloitson Allen Delloitson

126

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 127

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

ANALYSIS OF WHY THIS IS A POOR AND INEFFECTIVE COVER LETTER

✔ Assumption that the MBA alone is so important it will cause

employers to read the letter. The reality is that numerous MBAs apply to major companies every week. A degree from a nonprestigious program is not a guaranteed door opener anymore.

✔ The letter is too long, wordy, and has small type, making it difficult to read.

✔ Appears to be a form letter someone created, and Allen has simply dropped in the employer’s name as a mail-merged insert. The employer will suspect he mailed this to hundreds of companies nationwide, which I’m sure he did.

✔ Lists job title in last line. This appears to be an afterthought. He

needed to quickly target one specific job at the top and simply outline the skills to do that job.

✔ Too academic. The writing seems too theory-based. The employer

will quickly realize that this will be an employee who’ll need a lot of training to become an asset.

✔ First two paragraphs seem to sell the MBA program. They do not

underscore the skills he’s learned or give evidence of any practical application, whether through specific projects or jobs he has held or a particular job he could perform.

✔ Technical skills seem to be extensive, but he fails to draw any con-

clusions regarding exactly the best ways to apply his skills in the job or the objectives he hopes to achieve.

✔ Misused the term “public relations.” He clearly means customer service, not PR. (Specified PR skills are written promotion of the company or handling the media to gain positive publicity and exposure for the organization at the managerial level.)

✔ Too many assumptions are made about the needs of the organiza-

tion. A lot of generalizations and preconceived notions are used to outline the company’s needs, but they are not directed toward demonstrating how specific skills the candidate does possess can be used to perform a particular job.

127

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 128

Winning Cover Letters

✔ Lists four different areas of interest (marketing, finance, human

resources, or management), but fails to offer any specific job titles— nor does he specifically target any one of those jobs with substance or summation of the key skills and strengths needed to do that job.

✔ Focus is on Allen—his goals, his dreams, his analysis of United Parcel Service—but he never takes it to the point of saying in a more clear and concise way: “This is what I can do for you . . .”

✔ Poor closing statement. “I’m hoping you have a challenging position for an ambitious MBA,” he writes. Give me a chance. . . . To do what? That’s certainly the question.

Allen would greatly benefit from using The Power Impact Technique to outline what the “compensation analyst” job is and how he meets the need. Certainly he could cite his computer and research skills plus any personnel course work that was related. The fact is, Allen is just so excited about getting his MBA that he may be in for a very enlightening experience when employers pitch this letter into the trash can along with the hundreds of others that come in just like it. Moral of the story:

✔ Use The Power Impact Technique to analyze the job and compose your letter.

✔ Apply for a specific job, detailing solid skills and practical application to do it.

✔ Keep potential and interest statements small but passionately focused on how the employer will benefit if you are hired.

✔ Apply for different positions by sending an entirely new cover letter with resumé and target it toward the job title you seek.

128

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 129

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Career Changing “I have hired people with very minimal experience simply because they ‘sold me’ on their talents and correlated what they had done with what the needs of my job required,” said Margot Stanfield, vice president. She went on to offer this advice: “Sell me on what you can do. Sell me on ‘why’ you want the job, what you can do for me in this position, and then back it up with ‘what’ you’ve done in the past.” Changing careers can be a very frustrating and challenging process. It’s difficult to find a good job and convince the employer to hire you. Most career changers have a more difficult time since they must decipher their own experience and skills, then translate those to meet an employer’s needs. Leaving the military after 20 years of service and trying to move into the civilian world is certainly one of the hardest transitions to make. That’s why I’m including Don’s letter and experience of moving on after his career with the Navy ended. One employer wrote us to say: “We get a lot of ex–military people applying for God-knows-what job. We almost always toss these since they rarely have jobs or past experience relative to us, nor do they ever outline any experience to show they can perform the job in question. They tend to include resumés that are very long, with huge lists of military things they’ve done. I feel sorry for these people; it’s a tough transition to make, but all they want is a job, any job, and that’s not what we hire for.” This employer makes an excellent point. Military people do need to research job duties for positions in the civilian market. A thorough analysis of jobs and tasks will better help you extract from your background only the information that is relevant to the job you are applying for. Then make your points on how you have performed and will perform the advertised tasks. That is indeed the only way to get an employer’s interest. Don was an engineer who’d spent most of his tours with the Navy on submarines. He spent three of his last five years working at the shipyard overseeing a major renovation project. We pulled out that experience, then emphasized his planning, organizational, and technical skills. Here’s the letter he sent:

129

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 130

Winning Cover Letters

n Donald AndeStrsreoet He got the interview!

5011 N. Church 0 Norfolk, VA 2351 (757) 555-0111 [email protected]

May 4th Ms. Rita Cottrell nts, P.S. ABACUS Consulta ue, South #201 One Center Aven 2 Norfolk, VA 2351 l:

Dear Ms. Cottrel

m technical progra ith experience in w t, en cem ag tru an ns and co ering Project M field inspections, n, iso lia Industrial Engine g, tin ul ns f at Engineering Staf d coordination, co ld bring to your development an ou w I at th se rti t, is the expe tion managemen nts. ering consultABACUS Consulta providing engine e ud cl in te la re at ipyard and ork experience th Norfolk Naval Sh y, av N US Aspects of my w e th n twee lems. As the and managers be plant system prob er ing to engineers w po ed lv so d ning, schede analyzed an evaluated the plan d an d Westinghouse. I’v re ito on m I coordinated the Project Engineer, ns and tests, and supervising Field tio ca ifi od m em st ering design, ance of sy ncy. I have engine ie fic uling and perform ef e ov pr im ip experience. new programs to zational leadersh ni ga or development of t, en em anag , construction m Energy plant operations ty, Department of fif y el at im ox pr of ap ive ways to inactilitated the efforts loping cost-effect ve Additionally, I faci de in s er ag an that will save gineers and m veral approaches se d ce and shipyard, en du tro in ly oup of arines. I personal of this diverse gr rts fo ef e th ed vate nuclear subm at lit d faci per submarine, an nearly $500,000 . ng vi even greater sa phisticated dataexperts towards e to develop a so m d le ab en ch hi gineering computer skills w ojects. I feel my en pr rd ya ip I have extensive sh us sets vario puter skills are as t system for our ersonal and com base managemen rp te in , ng s vi us ol sc -s di ent, problem meet with you to project managem aff. I would like to St g in I can be er n. ne tio gi za En your your organi to e lu va d I would bring to de ad eat e would bring gr how my experienc 555-0111. reached at (757) preciated. ation are most ap er id ns co d an e Your tim Sincerely,

Donald Anderson Donald Anderson

130

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 131

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Nicklas was quite successful working for Pepsi. The only thing he didn’t like was how flat his income was—both his salary and bonuses had been pretty stagnant. He considered moving after he heard about a new highlevel sales job involving B2B (Business-to-Business) sales, which is what he did at Pepsi. He had no high tech experience at all, but this letter landed him an interview.

131

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 132

Winning Cover Letters

n Nicklas Cowa E

19724 221st N WA 98700 Lake Forest Park, (206) 555-1212 ail.com niccowan@hotm

March 19th

Mitchell Ballierno Director of Sales Synnex enue, Suite 2100 11201 Second Av 1 Seattle, WA 9800 Dear Mitchell:

the I would bring to ess sales is what in us -b to ss reple es sa sin gional cord in bu ized as the top re gn A proven track re co re as w I ly, ex. Just recent sales team at Synn psi-Cola. resentative for Pe e: by 15% in a tenexperience includ ive marketplace, tit Highlights of my pe m co ly gh hi istently in the ry sales, in a the pack to cons of e dl • Growing territo id m m fro oving territory month period, m eat success; ly out of 18. al territory with gr top five regional on gi re in ts uc od w national pr • Launching of ne o to one. l competition tw al g lin el ts consulting ou , lly specifica omers by using a st cu ith w p hi ns mpany. er relatio stomer and our co cu e • Developed partn th r fo its of pr d to greater approach. This le ntinue in the great desire to co d an e ud tit at s nnex. oductive, succes g company like Sy in nd pa ex I bring a highly pr y dl pi a ra ess sales area with ing to the business-to-busin ributions I can br nt co le ab lu va e tail th scuss in greater de I would like to di (206) 555-1212. at e contact m n ca u Yo . am te Synnex preciated. nsideration are ap Your time and co Sincerely,

Nicklas Cowan Nicklas Cowan

132

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 133

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Special Notice for Those in the Creative Arts Employers expect more creativity from those who make their living in desktop publishing, photography, or the graphic arts. Designs that scream loud graphics or are too faddy or trendy are not desired by our hiring managers. Innovation, with originality in the design, did set graphic artists, advertising, and publication specialists apart. Bob Christiano, owner of the Christiano Design Group and former creative director at a large advertising agency, offered these insights based on his years of hiring in this field: “I want to see something that’s very creative but not trendy or out of a source book. I like something professional and unique or else just a plain letter. Anything in between shows lack of ambition that will surely be displayed on the job if I hire the person. Definitely forget that designer paper you buy in the office supply stores. You can’t be unique when you are buying a mass-produced product everyone else has.” Too many graphic designs backfire. In this example, the client was unique in her design. It appeared on slate gray paper with complementing textured envelope. It has a simple but still contemporary design. It caught the manager’s eye.

133

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 134

Winning Cover Letters

Anne got an immediate interview.

July 8th Hilary Hyde BUREAU OF EDUCATION AND RESEARCH P O Box 96068 Washington, D.C. 20076 Dear Hilary, As a highly productive desktop publisher who is always on-time and never misses a deadline, I would like to be considered for your Desktop Publishing position. I bring extensive IBM and Macintosh experience; I can import and export documents with ease. I am proficient in Pagemaker, and Excel, and have several work samples I can show you that demonstrate the caliber of my work, including: charts, graphs, brochures, flyers and even a textbook. I received continuous praise for my creative designs while remaining within budget for both my current employer and freelance clients. I would like the opportunity to show you my portfolio and discuss the valuable contributions I could bring to the Bureau. I can be reached at (202) 555-1212 to arrange a meeting. Your time and consideration are most appreciated. Sincerely,

Anne Kim Anne Kim

134

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 135

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

More Examples of The Power Impact Technique at Work Eileen is now this company’s top salesperson!

an Eileen Dyckmriv e

D 933 Palm Court 054 95 Santa Clara, CA 11 (408) 555-01 om [email protected] September 30th

on Mr. Henry Garris ation Continuex Corpor , Suite 1204 One Plaza Square 0 San Jose, CA 9505 :

Dear Mr. Garrison

s counting, record t dealing with ac en em ag an m I s nd mputer system n is the backgrou Fifteen years in co s as top salesperso ar ye n te ith w t emen and office manag are Sales position. ftw bring to your So manual to autoconversion from e th in es fic of e lling add-ons er seventy-fiv by consistently se its of I have assisted ov pr d se ea cr in g have generated ns and consultin mated systems. I omized applicatio st cu t, or pp su l technica such as training, ls services. numerous referra udes generating cl in ts ke ar m l ca selling to verti My experience in sales. le to convert into ight make to that I then am ab contribution I m le ab lu va e th s scus eet with you to di I would like to m ) 555-0111. 08 (4 reached at be n ca I x. ue in Cont Sincerely,

Eileen Dyckman Eileen Dyckman Enclosure

135

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 136

Winning Cover Letters

n Anne Thompso et 610 Center Stre 215 Columbus, OH 43 (614) 555-0111 [email protected]

Anne landed the job!

December 3rd ee Search Committ ub Cl s irl Boys and G 11 #1 17 Stone Street 215 Columbus, OH 43 mittee:

Dear Search Com

ck record with a proven tra t en pm lo ve de cts of giving programs, rience in all aspe antly improving fic Twelve years’ expe ni sig , ps hi ns programs is donor relatio essful direct mail cc su g for building strong tin en em pl hts of my ble events and im position. Highlig or ct ire D t en organizing profita m Develop I’d bring to your the background e: ishments includ st $450,000 of previous accompl hen nonprofit lo w an pl ng isi ra nd an emergency fu • Implemented $750,000. d ise ra e year its funding. In on raised $200,000. gh profile ct mail programs, re di d te en and trained 80 hi em d pl te ui cr • Im Re n. ig pa w major gifts cam • Established ne d. ise galas, recep,000+ ra l events: dinners, volunteers, $450 ia ec sp of ds re d conferordinated hund nal programs, an io at uc • Planned and co ed , ns ho auctions, phonat tions, luncheons, levels of work rs obtaining high ee ences. nt lu vo 0+ 40 cted, and trained • Recruited, sele support. prizes. Obtained ent, and financial effort, commitm g hotels, catering, in ud cl in s ct ra nt 0+ vendor co • Negotiated 10 nal tie-ins. sts, and promotio co er w lo s, rm te better and WTSS-TV. ws for WIRO-TV ie rv te in ir -a on d make • Featured in ntributions I coul co nt rta po im e scuss th Your time and eet with you to di (614) 555-0111. at I would like to m d he ac re be Girls Club. I can to the Boys and most appreciated. consideration are Sincerely,

Anne Thompson Anne Thompson

136

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 137

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Patricia O’Kee12feB t. 200 East 30th Ap 017 10 New York, NY (212) 555-0111 [email protected]

September 7th

e SC-64 School of Medicin sity Columbia Univer 027 New York, NY 10 m:

planning and ration, strategic ist in m ad re ca ed skills to perience in manag g a unique set of in br ld ou w I With extensive ex t, cruitmen ive and clinical re physician, execut and Networks. Clinical Services of or ct ire D n, io the posit e include: relevant experienc Medical Highlights of my d by the Catholic ne ow O HM e id ew to establish a stat • Team member icians in New of 400 plus phys Center. k or tw ne er id ov r developing pr • Responsible fo d strategic plans. iladelphia. York City and Ph spital networks an ho ng pi lo ve de in their practice volvement spitals assessing ho d • Fifteen years’ in an ps ou gr mpensation, and over 45 physician • Consultant to e structure and co tic ac pr on em th vising opportunities, ad ns. 32 hospitals. e needed physicia th c plan audits on gi then recruiting te ra st d an et conducting budg ticare and I • Team member you were at Mul n he w o ag s ar w ye edical staff. e met briefly a fe in the Mt. Sinai m Dr. Bjurstrom, w jo to n eo rg su ro ary Smith, ch for a Neu mentioned by M as w e was doing a sear m na ur yo . She has ch was aborted, at ACPE meetings u yo e se Although the sear ld ou w my she since New York is Resources, when Resources. Thus, President of MD D M of e fic ry of t ve the east coas e offering sounds decided to close e position you ar Th . ch ar tting and se b jo a nning in an academic se ns ia ic ys ph home, I am begi ith w ork ine must go opportunity to w s academic medic ge exciting to me, an an ch e bl ita ev ution to the in s. to make a contrib ancing reorganize re delivery and fin ca th al he of l al my contributhrough as ting and discuss ee m f ie br a r fo u eett together with yo look forward to m 12) 555-0111. I I would like to ge (2 at d he ac re ork. I can be tion to your netw n soon. ing with you agai Pat got the interview over 300 others! Sincerely,

Dear Dr. Bjurstro

Patricia O’Keefe Patricia O’Keefe

137

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 138

Winning Cover Letters

s Brian Martinvd .

Bl 667 Charlestown 109 89 V N s, Las Vega 11 01 5(702) 55

August 23rd Company Jay Construction reet 1164 Thomas St 105 Las Vegas, NV 89 ement Position RE: Project Manag ction Company:

Dear Jay Constru

mt in large scale co with the last eigh ry st du oject in Pr n io ur ct ing to yo e constru background I’d br e Twenty years in th th s ize ar m nt m ds, co ract anagement su loping accurate bi ve de in mercial project m se rti pe en ex time and within n. I possess prov Manager positio ng projects in on gi in br d an s, st amlining co negotiations, stre budget. Highlights of my

nd include:

recent backgrou

is. te job cost analys system for accura g in st co b jo ed teriz • Establish compu to $8 million. seven projects up of t en em annually. ag an M • saving $100,000 s st co t en ed profit of em ag an . Additional shar et dg bu • Streamlined m r de un 00 project in $120,0 • Brought $1.4M n $48,000. ur company. I ca ntributions to yo co g in ak m n gi available to be I am immediately a meeting. 0111 to arrange 555 ) 02 (7 at d be reache Sincerely,

Brian Martins Brian Martins

Brian landed the job and a higher salary than before he was laid off. Being over 50 proved not to be a problem.

138

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 139

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Colleen loves this new job!

Colleen Riggins

3 Strayer St. K 73159 Oklahoma City, O (405) 555-0111 et [email protected] January 17th Mr. Buspy Chemicals Inc. 1233 Regal Row K 73154 Oklahoma City, O Dear Mr. Buspy:

developed the e assistant, I have iv ut ec ex an as t, confidentials while I served time managemen e, nc In the last 10 year te pe m co of the highest level skills that ensure y boss’ job easier. m e ak desire to m re ce sin a d an ity ve praised: past employers ha at th ills sk e m sa e you can expect th As your assistant rvice. • Loyalty and se details. cate attention to tri in ith w e nc te • Compe solving abilities. ice and problem rv se er om st Cu • skills. puter and office • Proficient com re situations. ent in high pressu • Time managem perience. ting planning ex • Extensive mee your goals ur objectives and yo s, ce en er ef pr ur ny. I do hope we I quickly learn yo ship of the compa Most importantly, er ad le e th in u contributions I best to aid yo fully the valuable e or m and do my very n ai pl ex d ort time so I coul (405) 555-0111. can meet for a sh can be reached at I . nt ta sis as e iv ur execut could make as yo preciated. ation are most ap er id ns co d an e Your tim Sincerely,

Colleen Riggins Colleen Riggins

139

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 140

Winning Cover Letters

Mark Shaw

Mark got the interview and the job!

#313 167 Sunset Blvd. 90067 Los Angeles, CA (213) 555-0111 [email protected] March 2nd

Jack Sanborn WNBC TV 1 Disney Street 90061 Los Angeles, CA vision with th radio and tele bo in e, nc rie pe on-air ast engineering ex the highest quality g in id ov pr , 16 years of broadc TV of WABCas chief engineer the most recent ckground. summarizes my ba reliability briefly

Dear Jack:

cludes:

My experience in

ions anyn (saving the stat tio ta ci a g in iv ce re mpliance, never • Perfect FCC co fines). in 00 ,0 00–$80 dcast area, contin where from $5,0 engineering broa l ca lo e th in d rt ts, an a leading expe ns, advancemen • Recognition as logical innovatio no ch te st te la e on th uously informed s complicated pment. lo ve cluding numerou in equipment de s m le ob pr l ca shooting techni • Years of trouble ions. remote transmiss s. ne 5 w transmitter • Installation of ,000. ement over $300 the compe• Budget manag d look better than an d un so ir -a on ns a manmaking my statio ke. My success as rta de un I b jo I pride myself in y 0% to an but also in the oach is to give 15 technical abilities, nt lle tition’s. My appr ce ex y m in unded, not only s and talent. ager has been fo ely with operator iv ct fe ef k or w to uskills I utilize e valuable contrib discuss in detail th to g tin ee m f ie range a br 555-0111. I would like to ar reached at (213) be n ca I . BC N W to tions I can bring preciated. ation are most ap er id ns co d an e Your tim Sincerely,

Mark Shaw Mark Shaw

140

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 141

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

ld

Danielle Whit. fie

42 Barker St 121 Jamesville, NY 13 (315) 555-0111 [email protected] May 23rd

Sharon Wright Medical Affairs unity Relations News and Comm al Center, SC-60 University Medic 9 Syracuse, NY 1310 :

Dear Ms. Wright

ring this era of be competitive du n ca er nt Ce al ic sibility and iversity Med ing for positive vi vy e ar Promoting the Un s er id ov pr derstanding , when so many t have a good un us m t lis healthcare reform ia ec Sp edia blic relations proe media. Your M be a seasoned pu , recognition in th ia ed m s w ne e ve a strong interests of th the media, and ha of n io of the needs and nt te at e th . ept at capturing althcare industry fessional who is ad king within the he or w nd ou gr ck nal years professional ba ing five professio br I as s ed ne ur with yo is a good match My background rience include: lights of my expe gh Hi e. nc rie pe articles in both of PR ex lting in published su re ia ed m s w hing stories to ne • Effectively pitc l newspapers. d newsletters. local and nationa s for magazines an le tic ar of ns ze onal stories d writing do s, details and pers ct fa er • Researching an th ga to s s. merous individual marketing benefit • Interviewing nu news hooks and s, le tic rs, ar , tte rts sle w po res, ne riate re to create brochu to create approp s m ra og pr g in desktop publish • Utilizing many s. flyers and article ning strong efforts in maintai ur yo to n io ut ntrib 555-0111 to dismake a strong co reached at (315) be I believe I could n ca I . ns tio la community re appreciated. news media and ideration is most ns co ur Yo il. ta er de cuss this in furth Sincerely,

Danielle Whitfield

Danielle landed the interview, beating out nearly 400 others!

d

Danielle Whitfiel

141

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 142

Winning Cover Letters

Salary History Requests Money—We all care about it! Most would certainly like to have more of it. Money. And oh, how those salary questions are designed to eliminate job hunters from the pack. Employers place those salary questions in their ads to trick you. According to our survey, 23% of the employers do request salary information in their ads. Martha Steinborn, an HR consultant for employers who’s hired hundreds of people in her career, says she always advises her clients (employers) to request a salary history. The reasons to do so are to screen out those who are too high or too low and to determine an average salary that people are paid for similar jobs in other places. Additionally, she noted, “Previous salary tells something about what they were really doing in past jobs.” Wow—there’s an insight for you! The bottom line is that salary info is used to eliminate you. I recommend that when you see the phrase “send salary history,” you simply don’t do it. Focus on skills and use The Power Impact Technique. If you’re like many of my clients, you’ll get called in for an interview without ever providing that financial background. One word of caution, though. A human resource director from a major bank told us about a mistake that people tend to make in addressing the salary issue. “People tend to ‘inflate’ their current salary,” she noted. Since an employer could then check on this figure, it’s best never to offer exactly what you are or were making. There is more leeway to negotiate higher compensation when your future employer doesn’t know exactly what you made before. There are some employers out there, though, who are adamant in learning what your salary requirements are. Their ads typically state: “Send salary history, without which you won’t be considered for the position.” Knowing you want to eventually negotiate the highest salary possible, my advice is to just quote a salary survey source and claim to be within that range. It has worked for hundreds of clients, and this technique allowed Paula to obtain a salary $6,000 higher than she had earned with her previous employer, whom she wanted to leave for underpaying her. Here’s her Power Impact Technique letter. Note that the salary info is near the bottom, after all her important skills and contributions have been stressed.

142

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 143

MORE SUCCESSFUL COVER LETTERS

Paula Lazetti

1B 72 Court Street #2 10 rk 066 Queens, New Yo (212) 555-0111 [email protected]

Paula got the interview, beating out 600 other applicants. She landed a $6,000 raise, too!

November 15th , CFO Ms. Monica Pierce rporation Pacific Import Co , Suite 700 5930-5th Avenue 060 New York, NY 10 Dear Ms. Pierce:

years at a ith more than six w it, ed cr d an ns d rience in collectio while building an Ten years of expe collecting funds in se rti e pe th ex of en rt just pa plus prov ers and staff, are managerial level, om st cu ith w . ps er anag In ive relationshi and Collections M it ed Cr maintaining posit of n io sit po ld bring to your ies and beliefs: knowledge I wou e following abilit th s es ss po I , ns qualificatio nsistent addition to these and maintain a co e ov pr im to es ocedur of policies and pr d profitability. • Establishment pany’s stability an m co e th s re su ility to assist with cash flow that en rtment’s responsib pa de it ed cr e th at it is d debt loss. • A philosophy th ng the risk of ba izi im in m courts and le hi w s eys, small claims rn increasing sale to at , es ci en ag ch service. area collection when to use whi ow kn to • Experience with y ilit ab e g, it reports, and th rviewing, trainin providers of cred ing resumés, inte en re sc es t. ud en cl in pm velo perience that eir professional de th g in • Supervisory ex ag ur co en strengths and ucation to keep utilizing employee knowledge and ed y m g sin ea cr in it and business. king on ging world of cred an • Continually wor ch er ev e th in test trends apprised of the la l credit associad on the nationa se ba e ar ns io at 0– my salary expect es average $32,00 At your request, mid-size compani of s nal er tio ag di an ad m it being an ey. Cred fits and bonuses tion’s annual surv ne be ith w e ng within that ra $45,000 and I’m nsation package. sted in dispart of the compe ld be very intere ou w I n. io at er id I ns (212) 555-0111. sumé for your co Enclosed is my re can be reached at d an , er for rth or fu ut u contrib ion with yo luable asset and va a e cussing this posit m co be n ca scussing how I look forward to di n. your organizatio Sincerely,

Paula Lazetti Paula Lazetti

143

9413_Ryan/CL_c04.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 144

Winning Cover Letters

Summary Hiring managers selected The Power Impact Technique as their preferred style to write a cover letter. Many stated that it concisely and quickly tells them the specific skills you can offer to fit their needs. Richard, a vice president of human resources for a major manufacturer advises, “Get to the point—fast. Tell me your background and how it applies to my company. Point out any success relevant to my needs. That’s the kind of letter I want to read.” Focusing on the employers’ needs is the key to getting hired. Our conclusion: Use The Power Impact Technique. It works!

144

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 145

Chapter

WRITING YOUR COVER LETTERS

5

I

nterpreting the ad is the first step in crafting your cover letter. Whether you found the job in Sunday’s newspaper, on the Internet, or on an employer’s website, you’ll need to take a few moments to analyze the employer’s needs. You must customize your letter to stand out from the crowd—something few people take time to do. Select potential jobs closely aligned to your skills and experience. This will make it easier to write effective cover letters that employers will respond to. Try to obtain more information about the company on the Internet or through your network to gain specifics about what the organization does and its stated goals, mission, and future plans (e.g., launching a new product). What is the company like? Is it fast-paced, aggressive, emerging, blue chip, or a customer service organization? A nonprofit? A governmental agency? How big or small is it? What kind of market share does it have? If it’s a service organization, exactly what are its real goals? Many job hunters fail to take this extra step and fully analyze the company’s real needs. A client was applying for a university administrator position at University of California, Berkeley. She wrote several long paragraphs about serving students and developing more services and student programs. Unfortunately, this woman completely missed the fact that this institution’s emphasis was research, and it sought administrators to further that goal. In order to appear attractive to this employer, she needed to totally rewrite and retarget her letter. A thorough job analysis is your secret weapon and key to success of demonstrating how you can meet an employer’s needs to get the job done well.

145

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 146

Winning Cover Letters

The Writing Technique Let’s use The Power Impact Technique to write an easy and highly influential cover letter for you. You might want to use my cover letter templates, which are available as an MS Word computer file from my website at www.robinryan.com. To begin we must analyze the job you are applying for. In our example here, we’ve italicized the important points for the letter’s emphasis:

JOB ANALYSIS TEACHER Pinehurst Elementary School seeks experienced Second Grade Teacher. Must possess Valid Florida State Teacher’s License. Experience using Whole Language Reading Programs preferred. The District is an equal opportunity employer. Minorities are encouraged to apply. Send resumé and three letters of reference to: Second Grade Search Committee Orlando Public Schools Superintendent’s Office 1 Disney Drive Orlando, FL 32809

Employer’s NOTED NEEDS: 1. Valid teacher’s license 2. Whole language reading program experience 3. Experienced teacher

146

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 147

WRITING YOUR COVER LETTERS

ASSUMED NEEDS: These are attributes necessary to perform the job that are not specifically mentioned, but you know from your previous job that they are important.

1. Creating lesson plans 2. Committee work Now it’s your turn to analyze the particular want ad or job description you wish to apply for and fill in both the NOTED and ASSUMED NEEDS. Employer’s NOTED NEEDS: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Employer’s ASSUMED NEEDS: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Our next step is to link the employer’s need with your skill(s): Employer’s need:

Experienced and licensed teacher

Her skills:

Three years elementary teaching with valid license in Florida

147

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 148

Winning Cover Letters

Now it’s your turn. List all that are mentioned: 1. Employer’s NOTED NEED:

Your skill to meet that need:

2. Employer’s NOTED NEED:

Your skill to meet that need:

3. Employer’s NOTED NEED:

Your skill to meet that need:

148

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 149

WRITING YOUR COVER LETTERS

Now write down what you believe to be important assumed needs: 1. Employer’s ASSUMED NEED:

Your skill to meet that need:

2. Employer’s ASSUMED NEED:

Your skill to meet that need:

Note anything of personal relevance to substantiate why you’d be interested in this job, organization, or company:

Next, list the top skills you have to sell based on your analysis of the job. Experience is always a good place to start. Review the important skills the employer requires and what you’ve written down. Outline below the important points to mention in the opening.

149

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 150

Winning Cover Letters

Your top skills to mention in opening paragraph:

For example, our teacher wrote: 1. Three years as a second grade teacher 2. Created hundreds of lesson plans 3. Member of team that developed a new reading program for entire district Next, we need to create the first high-impact sentence. Our teacher wrote: Three years as a Florida public school second grade teacher with experience introducing the Whole Language Reading Curriculum into the District is the background I’d bring to your Second Grade Teaching Position.

Note: Always identify the job you are applying for. In this candidate’s case, it was for a “Second Grade Teacher” position. Also, we felt it was important to balance her few years’ experience with the necessary reading program experience. Create your opening sentence:

Now insert your skills that address both their NOTED and ASSUMED NEEDS:

150

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 151

WRITING YOUR COVER LETTERS

Our teacher wrote: I find it immensely satisfying to come to work each day and greet my eager class. I work hard to encourage learning with creativity that makes it a fun process. I’ve developed hundreds of lesson plans that utilize history, current events, art, and music to achieve the learning objectives of my diverse-needs class. Two years ago, I was a team member who reviewed numerous reading curricula. The Whole Language Reading System was selected. Last year, I introduced that reading program in a beta test project to my class. We had excellent results, and the entire district has now adopted the program.

Our teacher felt it was important to include why she was available and to offer a recommendation to the employer. She did this also to personalize her letter. Although in most cases it is not wise to add too much personal information, it made sense here. Her husband’s new employer— Disney—was a stable company that would not likely require them to move again soon. She wrote: I sadly left Viewmont behind, as my husband’s new job with Disney has permanently relocated us to Orlando. I encourage you to contact my principal, Mrs. Smith, to learn firsthand about the valuable contributions I made while at Viewmont and the success I had with the Whole Language Reading System. I would like to discuss in greater detail your current needs and how I might be an asset to your school. I can be reached at (407) 5551212. Your time and thoughtful consideration are appreciated. Sincerely, Second Grade Teacher (who really wants the job)

Add anything that will personalize your letter:

Here’s our second grade teacher’s entire Power Impact Technique letter:

151

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 152

Winning Cover Letters

Wendy Teachreeetr St I Mickey Mouse 812 32 FL Orlando, 12 (407) 555- 12 m [email protected]

June 14th rience introteacher with expe e ad gr nd co se ol Florida public scho istrict is the back Three years as a culum into the D rri Cu g in ly ad se Re en Language ion. I find it imm ducing the Whole de Teaching Posit ra G nd rd to co ha Se k ur or to yo s. I w ground I’d bring eet my eager clas gr d an y da ped hunch lo ea ve I’ve de e to work it a fun process. satisfying to com es ak m at th ity to achieve ng with creativ ts, art, and music en ev nt encourage learni rre cu y, or st ans that utilize hi dreds of lesson pl e-needs class. rs ve di y ctives of m je ob ng rricula, ni ar le e th erous reading cu m nu ed ew vi re ber who as selected. Last was a team mem nguage System w La le Two years ago, I ho W e th d s. We had g Curriculum an project to my clas st te ta be the Whole Readin a in m ra ogram. that reading prog w adopted the pr year, I introduced no s ha t ric st di e and the entir excellent results, anently relocated new job has perm s d’ an sb hu y m to learn firstont behind, as pal, Mrs. Smith, ci in pr y I sadly left Viewm m t ac nt co success I encourage you to ewmont and the Vi at le hi w e us to Orlando. I ad ns I m scuss in greater luable contributio I would like to di . hand about the va em st Sy g in ad can be le Language Re to your school. I had with the Who ight be an asset m I w ho d an s nt need detail your curre 555-1212. ) reached at (407 d. ion are appreciate ghtful considerat ou th d an e tim Your

Dear Principal,

Sincerely,

Wendy Teacher Wendy Teacher

Or, we could use the bulleted list approach. One style may be easier for you to use. Our teacher selected the paragraph style, but the bulleted list style would have worked for her, too. Here’s what the bulleted style would have looked like:

152

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 153

WRITING YOUR COVER LETTERS

Wendy Teacher

Wendy did land this job!

Street 1 Mickey Mouse 2 Orlando, FL 3281 (407) 555-1212 m [email protected] June 21st

Dear Principal,

perience e teacher with ex ad gr nd co se ol Florida public scho District is the Three years as a rriculum into the Cu g in ad Re ge hole Langua introducing the W aching Position. Second Grade Te ur yo to g in br background I’d Highlights of my

e:

background includ

ficate. tary teacher’s certi en em el program. lid va s es • Poss w district reading ne g in ct le se d an ber on evaluating in second grade • Committee mem ading Program” Re ge ua ng La le troduced “Who • Adapted and in cellent results. l needs. classroom with ex l and educationa ra ltu cu e rs ve di ling children with nal materials with • Experience hand proven educatio g in iliz ut s an pl ds of lesson • Created hundre for the students. arning enjoyable le es ak m at th creativity urage you to Orlando. I enco us d te ca lo re tly en w job has perman valuable contribuMy husband’s ne sthand about the fir n ar le to , ith incipal, Mrs. Sm e Whole Language to contact my pr ess I had with th cc su e th d an t s and le at Viewmon your current need il ta de tions I made whi r te ea gr in scuss 5-1212. I would like to di ached at (407) 55 re Reading System. be n ca I . ol asset to your scho how I might be an are appreciated. tful consideration gh ou th d an e Your tim Sincerely,

Wendy Teacher Wendy Teacher

153

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 154

Winning Cover Letters

Now you can clearly see exactly how this works: the strong opening, a powerful body with evidence she can do the job, even an explanation about her desire to move to a new school. Back to you and finishing your letter. We’re almost done. Now it’s time to end your own letter. David, a senior human resources director for one of Boston’s top companies, warns us about making unsubstantiated claims. He advises job hunters to avoid using pat phrases such as, “I know I can help your company reach its goals.” It is more effective to follow through with the emphasis that you are a person who is focused on filling the employer’s needs. This closing is both positive and strong: I’d like to discuss in greater detail the value contributions I would make to your the company name. I can be reached at your phone number. Your time and consideration are appreciated. Sincerely,

Your Name Your Name

Power Impact Technique letters get employers’ attention!

154

Now your letter is complete. Wasn’t that a lot easier than you thought it would be? Once you use The Power Impact Technique, you’ll have such great success that you’ll never write a cover letter any other way. These letters will save you a lot of time and wasted efforts. Be sure to keep a copy of every letter you write (see Chapter 8). Most can be adapted with a little finessing, and then they’ll be ready to send out at the next opportunity.

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 155

WRITING YOUR COVER LETTERS

Paper, Printing, and Envelope Recommendations Our 600 employers surveyed stated definite preferences on how letters should appear. I base my following recommendations on those survey results: Paper:

Matches resumé; rich texture, laid, or woven.

Letterhead:

Create a simple letterhead with centered name, address, and phone number (email is optional but list home email not work’s).

Color:

White, off-white, or ivory.

Borders, colors:

Not impressive. Several noted a negative impact. (Exceptions are graphic artists, photographers, and artists.)

Format:

Easy-to-read, one-page format looks best.

Envelopes:

Standard business size. Typed (or laser-printed) address preferred. (Good penmanship is acceptable, but less recommended.)

Designer paper:

84% of employers found fancy designer paper not influential. Recommendation is to write a wellformatted letter on plain paper with a rich texture. No designs.

Return address:

Typed or laser-printed. No cutesy address label designs.

Printing:

Laser-printed, for crisp, sharp copy.

155

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 156

Winning Cover Letters

Creating Your Marketing Package The first impression really does matter. That’s why it’s key to have a nicely presented, matching cover letter and resumé. In some cases, work samples and recommendations should also be included. Forget large envelopes or Fed-Exing. That’s just a waste of money. Fancy, preprinted designer paper, logos, distracting lines, or sidewayswritten words have no place here. Employers want cover letters and resumés that are easy to scan. Do your presentation nicely. Rich-feeling paper, easy-to-read, crisply printed, and clean work best. Proofread and eliminate all errors. If you send a CD or disc with work samples, make sure they are clearly labeled, and only include your best work. Three terrific ads you’ve created beat 10 average ones any day. Always triple-check for correct names, addresses, and phone numbers. One client was quite surprised when his resumé attracted no calls, until one ambitious HR person wrote and asked him to contact them for an interview, as his listed phone number was not a working number. Check everything carefully. Then always keep a log, with the ad, date, and what you sent. Make sure your package says, “Hire me, I’m a true pro at all I do.” Glance over it as if you were seeing it for the very first time. Be sure it sends a professional, I can-get-the-job-done kind of impression. “Gimmicks just don’t work,” said Bob, a top executive overseeing a marketing and advertising department. “People try anything, from confetti and glitter [which Bob particularly hated] to pop-outs. One guy even sent his stuff in a Starbucks bag with a latte gift certificate taped to his resumé. A lot of wasted energy, if you want my assessment. Gimmicks are a sure tip-off that the applicant lacks the experience, skills, or qualifications to get the job done. “What is more effective, is a clean, easy-to-read letter that highlights exactly why I should hire you as fast as possible. If you are sending in a CD portfolio, or even dropping off the real thing, only show your best stuff. And I do mean best. It’ll help if it’s in line with our corporate image—avante-garde fashion is quite different from sinks and plumbing.” Most of our surveyed hiring managers felt the same. I did hear of two creative endeavors that had more positive results. One executive assistant mailed the CEO a box of Mrs. Field’s cookies with her resumé and cover letter inside. She wrote, “You’ll be sweet on me when I’m your right-hand girl, making your job so much easier.” The CEO said, “While I

156

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 157

WRITING YOUR COVER LETTERS

ate the cookies, I did linger over her resumé and she got her interview. She probably would have been passed by if it hadn’t been for the clever note with the cookies. An assistant who knows how to get attention to get things done is an asset for sure,” he noted. A hotel and restaurant professor at Washington State University told this tale about a college senior who landed a job with this unique approach: One job for a prestigious hotel required a lot of energy to handle the long, demanding days. One of his students landed the job when he sent a new pair of sneakers, with his resumé and cover letter inside the shoes. A note tied to the laces said, “I’m ready to race through the day doing whatever needs to be done.” It’s rare, but sometimes clever ingenuity works.

157

9413_Ryan/CL_c05.qxd

8/6/02

8:49 AM

Page 158

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 159

Chapter

S P E C I A L L E T T E R S T H AT CRACK THE HIDDEN JOB MARKET

6

A

ccording to the Department of Labor, 85% of all jobs are never advertised. One of the very best ways to discover these terrific opportunities is to send letters targeted to hiring managers. Notice I did not say to personnel. Mailing out 100 resumés with a generic cover letter blanketing every personnel office in your region is a complete waste of time and money. Personnel’s job is to screen people out of consideration, not to hire you. In today’s competitive job market, you must be more savvy than ever before. Self-marketing letters should be a vital part of your job search efforts. There are two types of self-marketing letters I’ve found that work exceedingly well. The first approach I recommend is a letter advertising your skills and inquiring about openings, called the Prospect Letter. The second is a request for some guidance on your job hunting activities—a technique that’s called Informational Interviewing. Both tap into the hidden job market and can produce some pretty terrific leads if you follow the formula I’ve outlined. The idea behind this strategy is to uncover potential openings. Acknowledge that you aren’t aware of what the employer’s current needs are. Many times, personnel or most of the other employees do not know all the jobs that are open or may become available in the near future. You learn firsthand, from the person who would likely be your boss, exactly what the hiring situation is. The nicest thing about this technique is that it allows you to be proactive. You sit in the driver’s seat and take control of your job search. You make up the list of potential companies that appeal to you based on their reputation, corporate culture, product, or service. This allows you to align your interests and match them with potential employers who might be able to use your

159

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 160

Winning Cover Letters

skills. This is the best way to uncover terrific jobs with companies where you are likely to find satisfying work. Follow the guidelines for both techniques—they can yield some good results as they provide the opportunity to learn exactly what an employer needs or wants. 85% of all jobs are not advertised. These self-marketing letters open the door to an abundance of great jobs with the better employers.

Prospect Letters There are five important tips to making the Prospect Letters produce interest and results. They are:

Tip #1: Develop a list of companies you want to work for. Examine your interests and narrow your targets to pick out the corporate culture that seems to be a match for you and your work style. The library is the best place to develop this list. Check out reference manuals, old newspapers, magazines, business directories, and annual reports. Infotrac, a computerized service listing magazine and newspaper articles that have been published during the last three years, is a good resource. Browse through professional association directories and make note of where people work. Competitors of your current employer or industry leaders might be other organizations you’ll want to add to your list. You need to create a list of no less than 30 potential employers. Tip #2: Have a clearly defined job target. “Any job” won’t work. When using this technique, you must be specific. You need to succinctly summarize some important skills to arouse the employer’s interest. You may have different jobs you want to target. That’s okay, but do keep good records of what was sent where. When considering a large company, you may need to approach various managers who supervise the area of interest. I do not recommend that you mail out different job targets at the same time to the same employer. Better to start with one specific position and learn of its potential, then move on to another department in that company with a different supervisor if your current job target is not available. Tip #3: Identify the person most likely to hire for the position you desire. You must write to your potential boss. Call the department and ask for the name of the person in charge of the department. Spell the name

160

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 161

SPECIAL LETTERS

correctly, get the complete, accurate mailing address, and note the phone number. This may take a little or a great deal of research time, depending on the employer. For example, at large companies like Motorola with over 100,000 employees or Pepsi with over 370,000 workers, it may take some significant effort to identify the potential manager (or managers) to write to. Ask your friends, family, and even college alumni to help. Network. Depending on the type of job you seek, you might find that there are several managers you could potentially go to work for. Detective skills are necessary. You’ll need to uncover names and phone numbers. Later, you will follow up and learn exactly what the true hiring picture looks like for that organization.

Tip #4: Write an enticing self-marketing letter. Samples follow on the next few pages. Be sure to send along your resumé. Your letter must specifically target the job you want to do. It’s a few teasing sentences that will catch the manager’s eye. Keep it short and to the point.

Tip #5: Follow up and call the employer. Within 7 to 10 days after mailing, make the follow-up phone call, which is both important and necessary. Your letter gives you a great reason to talk to the employer about his or her hiring needs. It’s a good idea to write out an actual script of what you’ll say to the employer. Start out by encapsulating your background: “I’ve got 10 years in magazine advertising sales for a monthly edition and sent you a letter last week. Have you seen it yet?” This opening is to pique interest. There are only two answers—yes or no. If the employer says yes or is vaguely trying to recall your letter, just jump into a short spiel on your background. Ask about upcoming openings or current needs. If there are no jobs available, conclude with this question: “Do you know of anyone seeking a sales rep [ fill in the title you’re seeking] with my background?” This allows the employer to pass on any job leads he or she may have heard of. These letters have been highly effective in securing interviews for my clients, and they often lead to landing very good jobs. If you are not employed, plan to mail at least two or three letters every week. If you have a job, you have less time available. Mailing just one letter per week and following up is manageable. After 10 weeks, you’ll hit 10 employers. Soon you’ll be swimming in numerous employment opportunities.

161

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 162

Winning Cover Letters

Prospect Letter

Barry Laird 1 Main Street City, NY 11111 (212) 555-0111 om [email protected] August 5th r industry the pulp and pape in nd ou gr ck ba my to profitability, ho is familiar with ange to lead them Mike Thomas, w ch d an th ow gr t needs. nies through on’s managemen ps m Si t managing compa ou ab e or m act you to learn pansion. I suggested I cont ngineering and ex -e re h ug ro th es ni en track in leading compa ity. I have a prov tiv uc od pr of My strengths lie ls ve gh le r costs and s that achieved hi we reduced labo ch hi build strong team w in , rd ga id Manager for M hile I was there. record as General advanced 11% w its of pr ur O s. le region and increased sa to remain in the ish w I — ed ne mon lity, and you may may have a com levels of profitabi w Mike felt that we ne to ny pa m enhance a co use my abilities to adership. 12) 555-0111. be seeking new le n reach me at (2 ca u yo or g tin ee am week to arrange I’ll call you next preciated. nsideration are ap Your time and co

Dear Evelyn:

Sincerely,

Barry Laird Barry Laird é

Enclosure: Resum

This employer had no position but gave Barry two leads for employers who did have openings.

162

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 163

SPECIAL LETTERS

Prospect Letter

Ed Rowoth 1 Main Street City, NY 11111 (201) 555-0111 om [email protected] June 15th MIS Director s Med-Life System PO Box 12002 innesota 55343 Maple Grove, M :

Dear MIS Director

ld bring excellent ion systems, I wou at rm fo in d an s . rtise in busines s to your MIS team With proven expe le containing cost hi w ity tiv uc od sing pr experience increa include: of my background Some highlights ini, UNIX and on Mainframe, M s em st sy n io at ing inform • 5 years manag g environment. in a manufacturin ith w ks ming languages. or w et N PC PASCAL program d an L, BO CO , RTRAN • Fluent in C, FO ade experience. in and system upgr n sio er ess that resulted nv co th Bo • -engineering proc re w flo k or w e et mpl • Established co in productivity. se ea bring to 20% incr ributions I would nt co le ab lu va e tail th nt and future scuss in greater de to what your curre as I would like to di ys da w fe a in l contact you your MIS team. I’l needs might be. preciated. nsideration are ap Your time and co Sincerely,

Ed Rowoth Ed Rowoth é

Enclosure: Resum

163

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 164

Winning Cover Letters

Prospect Letter

n

gto Sandra Harrin et 1 Main Stre City, NY 11111 (212) 555-0111 [email protected]

September 16th

, Vice President Mr. John Thomas Apple South Inc. Avenue One Washington 0 Madison, GA 3065 :

Dear Mr. Thomas

ving recognized for ha Assistant who is e iv ut ec Ex ee oy an pl r looking fo uctivity? An em Are you currently high levels of prod ith w ills sk uct with no l na tio niza ished work prod fin a g in outstanding orga uc od pr y in saves record of efficienc that continually who has a track ganized assistant or ly gh hi a in u interested mistakes? Are yo to any of my you time? ion by speaking at rm fo in is th y rif mpany. u that you can ve e skills to your co ov ab e th g in Let me assure yo br I u that s. They will tell yo former employer pertise: ex ve the following Additionally, I ha puter skills • Advanced com ng experience • Meeting planni ational budgets • Managing oper ce background lt projects • Human resour ultiple and difficu m on t en em ag • Project man ur current needs. 0111 to discuss yo 555 ) 12 (2 at d I can be reache ideration. ur time and cons Thank you for yo Very truly yours,

Sandra Harrington n

Sandra Harringto

This letter is how Sandra met her new boss.

164

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 165

SPECIAL LETTERS

Tina Lopez

reet Apt. 302 11308 SW 5th St 0 Seattle, WA 9810 12 12 5(206) 55 net tlopez@earthlink.

January 12th

O Dylan Badure, CF ss le ire Verizon W the Americas 2202 Avenue of 004 New York, NY 10 :

billion-dollar excelling at a two g, tin di au d an g nancial Analyst/ rience in accountin your team as a Fi Ten years of expe to g in br d ul co I an emphasis in experience ing my MBA, with ish company, is the fin of th on m utions to I’m in the last e valuable contrib ak m to e Revenue Analyst. m g lin ab attle University, en Accounting, at Se Verizon. e include: ts and experienc en m ish ent and pl m co ac ards for achievem aw t en Highlights of my rtm pa de ral company and • Winner of seve argins costs and profit m quality ng yi tif en id s el od software al revenue m s and accounting se ba ta • Created financi da l, ce Ex g puter skills utilizin untries • Proficient com penses in three co ex al nu an in , double on illi m g financial errors rin ve • Audited $33 co un by s ng tantial cost savi • Produced subs ling $500,000 d procedures, tota ct rre hods, systems an co in d an billings new financial met e iliz ut d an n ar to quickly le • Proven ability procedures less and would e to Verizon Wire ut rib nt co n ca I n ere is a great deal next week to lear I am confident th il. I’ll contact you ta de r te 12. ea 12 gr 5in 06) 55 is to you h me by calling (2 ac re like to describe th n ca u yo or current needs, more about your preciated. ation are most ap er id ns co d an e Your tim

Dear Mr. Badure

Sincerely,

Tina Lopez Tina Lopez

165

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 166

Winning Cover Letters

Highly Competitive Fields Fishing for a job when competition is unbelievably stiff and there are only a few, rare openings is a difficult endeavor. Some people’s passions lie in extremely competitive fields. When I first met Keith Millard he told me his goals, objective, and the major obstacle he faced in securing employment. He said, “I’ve loved football my whole life. I’ve never wanted to do anything else—to me, life is football. That’s what makes this so hard. I’ve played pro ball for ten years and now I want to coach in the NFL. I did some college coaching but unfortunately, my “big break” was coaching for a franchise that never made it. The jobs are unbelievably rare and very hard to get. So you can see why I need help landing a job coaching pro football.” Thirty-one jobs—that’s all there are in the nation for the job he wanted—31! Not good odds, if you consider that 2,170 men are active pro football players in the NFL. “NFL” really stands for “Not For Long,” since the average player’s career lasts about three years. That means 700 or so players become unemployed every January when the season ends. The vast majority seek coaching positions. Some go to college ranks, many others give up, as it’s a pretty impossible goal. When a position does open up, many highly qualified people are networking like crazy to land the job. Keith’s consultation with me included creating a new resumé that effectively advertised his skills. Next, he told me, he needed a “kick-butt” letter, since head coaches (his potential bosses) received thousands of pieces of mail in any given month. Additionally, we came up with a oneyear game plan. It was June when we started and we both acknowledged that all the coaching jobs for the upcoming season would be filled. But on the very remote chance someone’s job became vacant, we wanted to get in front of coaches at a less busy time (June) to begin cultivating any potential positions for the following year’s season. Keith is a very likeable guy. This allowed him to contact many pro friends, former players, and acquaintances to network with and get insider information from. He learned a lot and knew if he could snag an interview he’d gain solid support and positive recommendations. So, here’s the “kick-butt” letter and resumé he sent to all the NFL head coaches.

166

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 167

SPECIAL LETTERS

Keith Millarde

24 Oceanside Driv 100 Hingham, MA 02 12 12 (617) 555yahoo.com M Keith illard35@

June 17

Coach Butch Davis, Head Cleveland Browns . 76 Lou Groya Blvd Berea, OH 44017 is,

Dear Coach Dav

and college seven years of pro ith w er ay pl e iv fens ensive ing former NFL de your team as Def to nd ou gr ck ba As a record hold a unique e, as a person e, I would bring ssion for the gam pa a coaching experienc g in br ld ou rmony lly important, I w work in perfect ha d an s er ay Line Coach. Equa pl e at otiv rated ability to m who has demonst and win games. s al go s to achieve he ac co r he ot with niques that defensive line tech g tin ea cr of s ar pro ball and lts come from ye ten years playing y m on n My on-field resu aw dr ve an inteperformances. I ha arterback sacks by qu r fo rd co improve players’ re FL ing N have worked hard ous awards, includ ayer of the Year. I Pl achieving numer ive ns fe De ed ve and being nam ned; the results ha rior lineman (18) niques I have lear ch te d an es ci ca the intri to teach players ces. player performan always improved ers. He needs to so know his play al t us m he t bu and motivaow the game, p personal goals lo ve de A coach must kn d an k tic er d makes each play of each player an understand what t the differences ee m to e es th t work. I adap tional tools that y efforts. nt results from m have had excelle h in to help with . I pleasantly pitc ed ed ne is r ve te player on I always do wha truly am a team I s. ed ne n As a team coach, tio ra inist ial events, or adm extra duties, spec f. the coaching staf u may need an in hopes that yo g in rit w am I e. tail how I has been my lif scuss in greater de di to e I love football, it lik ld ou w ,I back coach. If so effective running t to you. I could be an asse [email protected]. ail at KeithMillard em by or aer 12 id 12 ns at (617) 555Your time and co I can be reached ur current needs. yo s us sc di to ys few da will call you in a preciated. ap tion are most Sincerely,

Keith Millard Keith Millard

167

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 168

Winning Cover Letters

Editorial Note: Original resumé all appeared on one page

Keith Millard 24 Oceanside Drive Hingham, MA 02100 (617) 555-1212 [email protected]

Career Objective: DEFENSIVE LINE COACH SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS Unique coaching background with seven years of pro & college defensive coaching experienced built upon ten years playing professional football and achieving numerous awards including NFL Defensive Player of the Year. Hold the NFL QB Sack Record for interior lineman. Created and taught player’s defensive line techniques that improved player’s performance and significantly contributed to winning games. Passionate motivator, working together in unison with other coaches to achieve team goals and win games.

EDUCATION Bachelor of Science Degree, Health and Physical Education, Madison University

COACHING EXPERIENCE PRO: Defensive Line Coach, San Francisco Demons (XFL) and Assistant Special Teams Coach, 2000–2001 • Acquired unique insight on rushing the passer and sacking the QB, holding the NFL sack record for interior lineman. Created teachable principles used in coaching the defensive line and linebackers that resulted in significant improvements in player’s ability to rush and sack the passer. • Developed the defensive line to become the number two defensive team in the XFL. Duties included: coaching, team motivation, drills, practice schedules, opponent team analysis, team administration, and game day coaching. • Created weekly “9-on-7” drills to best deal with opposing team’s offense. • Analyzed each opponent team’s offense using “Pinnacle Systems Team Sports” to determine the defensive strategy for each team played. • Signaled-in line stunts and pass rush maneuvers on game day. • Motivated players drawing on ten years of personal NFL playing experience using a passionate personal approach, reinforcing the teams goals, demonstrating defensive line techniques and continuously working with each player to maximize their game performance.

PRO: Defensive Coordinator, Los Angeles Dragons (SFL) Los Angeles, CA spring 2000 COLLEGE: Defensive Coordinator/linebackers, Menlo College, Atherton, CA 1997–2000 Defensive line coach, Fort Lewis College, Durango, CO 1996

168

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 169

SPECIAL LETTERS

PRO PLAYING EXPERIENCE Teams: Philadelphia Eagles NFL 1993

Position: Defensive Tackle/End Seattle Seahawks/Green Bay Packers NFL 1992 Minnesota Vikings NFL 1985–1991 Jacksonville Bulls USFL spring 1985 COLLEGE PLAYING EXPERIENCE: Defensive End, Washington State University, 1980–84 First Round draft choice, Minnesota Vikings 1984

RECORDS/HONORS NFL Defensive Player of the Year 1989 NFL Defensive Lineman of the Year 1988–1989 NFL All Pro 1988, 1989 NFL Pro Bowl 1988, 1989 seasons NFL Record 1989 (still standing) 18 QB Sacks by an Interior Defensive Lineman

169

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 170

Winning Cover Letters

This letter got him fast phone calls from the head coaches of three different teams, plus 11 contacted him in writing. Everyone who called said they were familiar with his impressive playing career and remembered him from 10 years ago, when he was named Defensive Player of the Year. Several coaches wrote that same thing. With no openings available, he waited until December and re-sent all 31 head coaches a letter. The ones who didn’t respond at all got the original letter again, with a short paragraph stating he’d be attending the Senior Bowl—an event all coaches go to—and listing his hotel and contact information. His extra paragraph stated:

Dear (Coach) . .

.............

k Marriott g at the Landmar in ay st be ill w d an eeting, if the Senior Bowl arrange a short m to e lik I’ll be attending I’d e. m n e ga ing season. You ca e week before th needs for the com Hotel for the entir ng hi ac co . e) ur im yo , to discuss e a message anyt you plan to attend that week (or leav to r io pr n to try 12 12 517) 55 r is a better optio be m nu e on contact me at (6 ph ll my ce before the game, During the week 34. first: (617) 777-12 preciated. ation are most ap er id ns co d an e Your tim Sincerely,

Keith Millard

tached

d business card at

Note: Resumé an

170

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 171

SPECIAL LETTERS

I advised Keith to get business cards that included his name, address, email, home, and cell phone numbers to pass out. To all the coaches who’d called or written, he sent this letter, hoping to make contact at the bowl a month later.

December 6th e):

Dear Coach (Nam

pliment that you tremendous com a as w it u— yo ing from I appreciated hear achievements. my professional d an e m d re be coming season. remem h position for the ac Co ne Li e siv riott Hotel seeking a Defen e Landmark Mar th at be l As I told you, I am I’l ct fa l, in time to meet with g the Senior Bow set up a day and to I will be attendin e lik I’d e. m ga ntact me at k before the bowl. You can co e th g in for the entire wee nd te at on During utes, if you plan essage anytime). m a e av le r you for a few min (o k at wee 17) 777-1234. 1212, prior to th cell phone, at (6 y m home, (617) 555on e m h ac me you can re the week of the ga s for the next ur coaching need yo g sin us sc di d meeting you an I look forward to season. Best Regards,

Keith Millard

tached.

rd and resumé at

Note: Business ca

171

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 172

Winning Cover Letters

Keith had been cultivating old relationships and implemented a very well-planned job search campaign to at least get interviewed, should any job open. He went to the Senior Bowl, and networked. He approached coaches after asking old acquaintances to introduce him. He reconnected with many he’d lost touch with since his playing days and quickly realized that networking would now be a vital component to obtaining any job that might open up. In fields that are highly competitive you must complement good cover letters and resumés with as much networking as possible. You’ll need to be patient and well-prepared, so when opportunity does knock you’ll be at your best to answer it. Keith Millard left the Senior Bowl with no job offer. He felt it was a good investment to have gone but still no job was in sight. He returned home and kept contacting anyone who knew someone in Pro Football coaching. He talked to assistants, some teams’ offense or defensive coaches, anyone involved with or connected to the NFL. Then he got the opportunity of a lifetime—the Denver Broncos had a position available. Just a few weeks after spending an entire week job hunting at the Senior Bowl game he got this interview. It was followed by a second interview in which he went to Denver to meet face-to-face with the head coach and other coaches on the Bronco’s staff. Keith prepared for the interview knowing what he’d need to stress. This is where his insider information really paid off. Although his former professional playing record was full of stellar achievements, many warned him coaches were leery of former players, thinking they wouldn’t work hard enough, especially for the salary a coaching job paid. Keith was told that he really needed to stress that he was a good teacher, as this truly was the head coach’s biggest concern, feeling teaching others was the primary job task. Keith planned out his strategy, called in some key favors to get a few influential people to recommend him. Still, it came down to the fact that there were several other guys who were doing the exact same thing. Many highly qualified people wanted the position, making his competition ever so tough. There is one thing that no career counselor or networked contact can ever give to any person in this kind of a competitive arena—A JOB. You have to earn it yourself, and in the end I truly feel it was Keith’s passion for football, his honest love of the game, and his winning attitude that shone through and helped to influence the decision. The Denver Broncos got a great guy whose passion for the sport drove him to perfect his coaching techniques that’ll prove to be assets to their team. Come August, when the NFL season’s training begins, Keith

172

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 173

SPECIAL LETTERS

Millard will have accomplished this almost impossible goal—he’ll be coaching in the pro football league.

Informational Interview Request The second approach for self-marketing letters is designed to develop your network and gain more knowledge about companies, the field and potential job openings. The Informational Interview has been used by job hunters for over 15 years, but you can still obtain excellent results when this technique is properly executed. There are a couple drawbacks. Many people have abused this technique by requesting information and then at the meeting asking if the employer has a job for them. This lie—for that’s what it is—has angered and alienated many managers. Some may be quite leery about granting your request. This is most true in popular areas such as film, broadcasting, journalism, and public relations, where getting jobs is tremendously challenging and highly competitive. Next, this technique can be extremely timeconsuming. Arranging meetings, dressing up, going to the informational interview, and returning can take several hours per session. Although the ideal situation is to have a face-to-face interview and get a firsthand look inside the employer’s organization, this may not be an option. FaceThe major reason to to-face you do obtain a more solid impression of life utilize Informational Interviews is to learn inside the company. Many busy professionals, though, firsthand about the will be worried that you’ll stay an hour instead of the skills the employer 15 minutes you requested. Therefore, many of your inforvalues, plus you’ll mational interviews will be conducted by phone due to gain insights into the company, field, or time constraints (yours or theirs). career. You will get Some job openings you are likely to be told about are job leads. wonderful fits for your abilities, experience, talents, and interests. Every one of these letters produced meetings for my clients and led to conversations with hiring managers. This letter technique was exactly how Sue met her future sales manager and Kevin got introduced to the controller who eventually hired him. You might be wondering, why write a letter at all? Why not just call the person and suggest the meeting? That is certainly the ideal and fastest way to do this. But—and this a big but—I find most people simply agonize over phoning strangers. Whenever I ask my seminar classes how many will just go and call the employer, only 10% of the people raise their

173

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 174

Winning Cover Letters

hands. Nearly 90% won’t. When given the option to write first, almost all would follow up, knowing that the employer is expecting the phone call. The important point is to get you to reach and talk to the employer. An added bonus the letter offers is that you get to place your resumé in the employer’s hands before you visit to open up the possibilities more quickly. The guidelines to request an Informational Interview are as follows: Tip #1: Use a referral’s name whenever possible. Ask family, friends, coworkers, colleagues, neighbors, and even college alumni to help you. Identify some good people to talk to who may share the names of someone in your type of job or inside a company you want to work for. “Name-drop,” with a “Jack suggested that I call.” A referral will make it easier for you to get people to be receptive, talkative, and more willing to help you out. Tip #2: Send a resumé. This should accompany your letter. It allows the person to get an idea about your background and level of experience. It will help your contact to advise you more appropriately. Tip #3: Limit your visit to 15 minutes. Most busy executives cannot afford to give you much more than that without having to work overtime. Since you are trying to create new, helpful friends, watch the clock—once 20 minutes has passed, ask to schedule another meeting in a couple weeks. This shows respect for your contact’s time and generosity. Tip #4: Be prepared. At the beginning of the interview, summarize your background with a brief introduction. Bring a list of written questions, asking the most important ones first. Take advantage of the opportunity to inquire about what skills the employer deems most important to succeed at the job you desire. Also ask about future plans, products, or growth. Tip #5: Go in with no expectations. Reassure the person you don’t expect him or her to know about a job or have a job—you just need advice. Going into an interview expecting someone to get you a job can really sabotage your results. You must anticipate getting ideas or leads— nothing more.

174

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 175

SPECIAL LETTERS

Tip #6: Help them help you. Prepare a list of companies you’re interested in. Ask your contact to look at the list. Inquire if the person could suggest any other companies that you should add to your list to contact. Having a list ready is important, because your contact will be quickly scanning it. It will enable the manager to think of more companies (particularly small ones) that you are unlikely to know about. If you are conducting this interview over the phone, offer to e-mail your list, or simply mention six or seven other companies. Offering names will give the manager ideas, and you’ll get more suggestions from this free-association technique. Tip #7: Ask for a referral. Do they know anyone who works at the companies on your list? Stress that they can work in any department, as you are simply trying to get as much inside information as possible. Also inquire if they know of any other person in general who would be helpful in advising you on your job search. Tell them you plan to follow up on their recommendations soon. Tip #8: Send a thank-you note. People’s time and help are important. Tell them their advice was valuable in a short, handwritten note. You must do this for every person you meet. Always ask for a person’s business card—it will make it easier for you to know exactly where to mail your note. As a matter of politeness, people will often say, “Keep me posted.” But unless they are close friends, they rarely mean it. Form letters sent out months after this meeting announcing your new position are not necessary or wanted. Send a note to announce your success only if it’ll be personalized and if the individual receiving it is being thanked and credited for assisting you in obtaining the job you accepted. During the job hunting process, phone your contacts six or eight weeks later to check on whether they have heard of any positions. Don’t be bothersome, just friendly, and never push or beg them to help you. One HR manager noted: “I hate it when people beg—their desperation is a major turnoff.” Professional inquiries will get you much further with the hiring personnel. Arrange one to three informational interviews per week. You’ll make new friends, gain access to a lot of insider information, and get some very good job leads that will result in actual interviews and, potentially, a new position.

175

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 176

Winning Cover Letters

uest—

terview Req Informational In No Referral

l

Annette Spiega 1 Main Street City, NY 11111 (201) 555-0111 et [email protected]

November 5th ater,

Dear Mary Tightw

Healthcare mmunity Home Co . ce an id gu d raising skills k for your help an employ my fund I am writing to as to ek se w no I d d deteramatically an n, enthusiasm, an io ss has downsized dr pa y m e us ill w nization where I with a new orga portant cause. im r ei funds for th ise ra to n io at in m (meeting or a brief 15 minute up t se to e lik I’d u, I don’t n help me. . Let me assure yo ch ar Here’s how you ca se b jo y m ek your advice on t your guidance. phone chat) to se job. I simply wan a t ou ab ow kn n ve a job or to direct me whe expect you to ha ill be better able w u yo so é m su y re I have attached m we talk. I appreciate your

assistance in my

Thank you,

Annette Spiegal Annette Spiegal

Annette got terrific leads and two job offers.

176

search.

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 177

SPECIAL LETTERS

Sue found a new job using this letter!

terview Request:

Informational In elocation Special Angle—R

Sue Frothsinger

1 Main Street City, NY 11111 (201) 555-0111 .com frothsinger@msn June 15th

ara Mr. Walter Fujiw or Advertising Direct azine ag San Francisco M blo, Suite 200 2520 Camino Dia 94596 Walnut Creek, CA a:

Dear Mr. Fujiwar

gional magazines Advertising for re d an s le Sa in g relocated back ccess, workin nd. As I have just ou gr Fifteen years of su ck ba y m es Jim, I briefly encapsulat t me assure you, Le . ce an id gu and newspapers, r fo u to ask position at San I am writing to yo out a job. In your ab to the Bay Area, ow kn en ev ith u to have a job or and advise me w do not expect yo position to guide nt lle ce ex an in ine, you are Francisco Magaz my job search. vice. I would ur professional ad yo in ga to es ut in eet for just 15 m ntly introduced at I would like to m eas we have rece id e tiv va no in e days to e some of th ntact you in a few co be happy to shar ill w I . es in az t and Seattle Mag Pacific Northwes g. arrange a meetin preciated.

tance are most ap

sis Your time and as Sincerely,

Sue Frothsinger Sue Frothsinger

177

9413_Ryan/CL_c06.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 178

Winning Cover Letters

terview Request— Informational In l ngle with Referra New Graduate A

Kevin Lash

1 Main Street City, NY 11111 (201) 555-0111 om [email protected] July 8th Dear Ms. Stone,

in be most helpful he felt you could as u yo t ac nt co I mmended Roy Bingham reco some guidance. Finance. USA providing me with Accounting and in o hi O of y sit ge grads. uate from Univer ars for new colle ye 10 in t I am a recent grad ke ar m job such as myself. this as the worst g, eager person kin Today has quoted or w rd ha a t including is is true abou ng computer skills ro st ve I do not believe th ha I n, tio da velaccounting foun ems and have de Besides my good ory tracking syst nt ve in of t an en to m ing n, establish foundation I’d br database creatio skills. This is the g in ild e Depot’s bu t m or Ho pp ra perience as ex c ifi ec oped good client sp r fe of so ance position. I al stomer services accounting or fin y tracking and cu or nt ve in us pl , ent intern Property Managem lable. Roy experience. or have a job avai e, on St s. M b, jo a u to know about guidance it would I don’t expect yo ring your expert fe of es ut in m 15 just spend thought if you’d job search. greatly help my ief meeting. k to arrange a br ee w xt ne u yo ll I will ca tly appreciated. sistance are grea Your time and as Sincerely,

Kevin Lash Kevin Lash

Kevin found a great job using this approach.

178

9413_Ryan/CL_c07.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 179

Chapter

WRITING SELF-MARKETING LETTERS

7

A

s you learned in the last chapter, Prospect and Informational Interview letters are a secret weapon that taps into the hidden job market. I’ve created the basic skeleton or template for each of these letters. They are not difficult letters to write. You can use this template to create your own Prospect and Informational Interview letters. You might find that using the cover letter templates I offer in an MS Word computer file will save you time. Find them on my website at www.robinryan.com.

Prospect Letters Create a letterhead as follows:

Name Address Phone number home email

Next, write the opening sentence. Use a summary of your background and skills in the lead-in. A program manager might write the following: Ten years coordinating all aspects of workflow, employee supervision, project management and budgets for a nonprofit institution briefly summarizes my background. I’ve had a proven track record of successfully containing costs while increasing our department’s productivity. My strengths include strategic planning, finance, program development and strong communication skills.

179

9413_Ryan/CL_c07.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 180

Winning Cover Letters

Now write your opening sentence:

Now for the pitch: Here’s where you’ll tell them you’ll call them. I’ll call you next week to learn more about your current needs and to further discuss the valuable contributions I would make as part of your team.

The program manager concluded with the following: Your time and attention are most appreciated. Sincerely,

His Name His name Note: Enclosures to include your Resumé.

Now put it all together and you’ve created a first-rate letter. Here’s what our program manager’s letter looks like:

180

9413_Ryan/CL_c07.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 181

WRITING SELF-MARKETING LETTERS

Bob Jones 1 Main Street City, NY 11111 (201) 555-0111 [email protected] September 21 Kerry Brown r ABC Manufacture BOX 33333 Dallas, TX 44444 Dear Kerry:

rvision, project w, employee supe lo kf or w of s ct pe s my backnating all as briefly summarize n tio Ten years coordi itu st in fit ro np sts while d budgets for a no lly containing co management an sfu es cc su of rd co , a proven track re strategic planning ground. I’ve had rengths include: st y M . ity tiv uc partment’s prod . increasing our de munication skills t and strong com en pm lo ve de m finance, progra to further disrrent needs and cu ur yo t ou ab e . week to learn mor I’ll call you next part of your team I would make as ns io ut rib nt co cuss the valuable tention are most

Your time and at

appreciated.

Sincerely,

Bob Jones Bob Jones mé

Enclosures: Resu

181

9413_Ryan/CL_c07.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 182

Winning Cover Letters

Now it’s your turn. Opening:

Your pitch:

Closing: Your time and attention are most appreciated. Sincerely,

Your Name Your Name Enclosures: Resumé

You’ve done it! Mail your letter to a few employers every week and be sure to make that follow-up phone call seven to ten days after it has been mailed.

182

9413_Ryan/CL_c07.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 183

WRITING SELF-MARKETING LETTERS

When You Have a Referral Most people use a similar letter, adapting it to reflect any referrals or insider information in the opening sentence. The program manager might begin as follows: Tom Austin mentioned that you may have some need for a good Program Manager. With ten years in the field, and a proven track record of handling both program development and cost containment while increasing productivity, Tom felt a meeting might be to both our benefit. I’ll contact you next week. . . .

As you can see, we used the referral’s name first to stand out and share the learned information. We also included the major aspects that the contact, Tom, mentioned to us—program development and cost containment. We assume that the employer will talk to us, so we simply state when we’ll call and, of course, enclose a resumé with the letter. The final result looks like this:

183

9413_Ryan/CL_c07.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 184

Winning Cover Letters

Bob Jones 1 Main Street City, NY 11111 (201) 555-0111 [email protected] September 21 Kerry Brown r ABC Manufacture BOX 33333 Dallas, TX 44444 Dear Kerry,

m Manfor a good Progra ed ne e m so ve ay ha g both protioned that you m record of handlin ck Tom Austin men tra en ov pr a d tivity, Tom felt a ars in the field, an ager. With ten ye increasing produc le hi w t en nm ai e t and cost cont eek to learn mor gram developmen ntact you next w co l I’l . fit ne be r ns I would to both ou luable contributio va e meeting might be th s us sc di further nt needs and to about your curre ur team. make as part of yo iated.

n are most apprec

tentio Your time and at

Sincerely,

Bob Jones Bob Jones mé

Enclosures: Resu

184

9413_Ryan/CL_c07.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 185

WRITING SELF-MARKETING LETTERS

These letters are most effective when they are short and to the point. Now write yours by starting out using the referral’s name and some important skills and experience you have to offer.

Your name Address Phone number (Referral’s name)

I’ll contact you next week to learn more about your current needs and to further discuss the valuable contributions I would make as part of your team. Your time and attention are most appreciated. Sincerely,

Your Name Your name Enclosures: Resumé

Mail your letters out today! These really work in uncovering terrific job opportunities that might just lead to your next position.

185

9413_Ryan/CL_c07.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 186

Winning Cover Letters

Informational Interview Letters Create a letterhead as follows:

Name Address Phone number

Use a referral whenever possible in the opening sentence since that gathers the most attention. Then include a brief summary of your background and skills in the first paragraph. Our program manager might write the following: Tom Austin mentioned that you would be in an excellent spot to offer me some needed advice.

Now write your opening sentence:

Continue with a brief statement about your background. Our program manager might continue as follows: As a Program Manager, I have ten years in the field and a proven track record of handling both program development and cost containment while increasing productivity.

Now write your background:

It’s time to make your request. I suggest you reassure people about your objective and limit the meeting time you request to 15 to 20 minutes. This makes it easier to grant your request. Bob, our program manager, said:

186

9413_Ryan/CL_c07.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 187

WRITING SELF-MARKETING LETTERS

Tom felt you might be able to offer me some guidance on my current job search. Let me reassure you that I don’t expect you to have or even know about a position, but it’s a challenging job market right now and Tom thought you might indeed prove quite helpful. I’ll contact you next week to arrange a short 15-minute meeting.

Now it’s your turn. Make your request:

You’ve done it! Be sure to follow up and call shortly after this letter’s sent. It’s always a good idea to write out some questions and your top five selling points to aid you when you finally do get to talk to this employer.

187

9413_Ryan/CL_c07.qxd

8/6/02

8:50 AM

Page 188

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 189

Chapter

I N T E R N E T, F A X I N G , SCANNING, AND EMAILING

8

T

oday it seems that everyone is headed to the Web to look for a job. They spend dozens of hours searching through websites, sifting through hundreds of job openings, to extract only a few they wish to apply for. Resumés are posted and emails fly, holding nothing but the resumé in the attachment. Ah, that critical error—not creating a cover letter email that sells your abilities to perform the job. In my research with HR directors, I’ve learned that almost half of all resumés sent over the Internet can’t be read. Annette, an HR Manager at a prominent Boston company, explained it this way. “It took me awhile to figure out exactly why half of all the resumés we received could not be viewed. I uncovered the reason by accident, after I offered to help a neighbor who’d lost his job in preparing his resumé. He’d emailed an old one to me, but I couldn’t read it. So eventually, he faxed it and I typed it in, then sent the email off with his new resumé attached. When he couldn’t open it, I gave him a disc. Thinking it was a user error, I tried to open it on his computer and found the real culprit was that his computer’s standard word processing program was WORKS—common on personal home systems. But companies use WORD. So the different software prevented us from reading or seeing it,” she said. This was very insightful observation, one you should consider before you send any electronic documents. Always create your resumé in MS WORD—triple-check because it’s easy to confuse it with WORKS. (For more information on electronic resumés, consult my book Winning Resumés, also published by Wiley and available at www.robinryan.com.) Since you’re likely to try the email approach, here’s another “big” secret that will help you be more successful. Always use an EXTENDED

189

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 190

Winning Cover Letters

SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS as part of your email. I’ve had clients rave that this technique was very useful. Annette, our Boston HR Manager, said, “Wow! You’ve got a good idea there—that’s a terrific way to ensure your message will get through.” This technique is simple but powerful. I instruct my clients to create an email containing two to three paragraphs (10 to 20 lines in length) that briefly encapsulate the highlights of their background and skills to perform the desired job. Here are examples of Curtis’ hard copy resumé, SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS email, and snail mail cover letter.

190

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 191

INTERNET, FAXING, SCANNING

Curtis Knowles 1 Main Street Los Angeles, CA 99100 (310) 755-1112 [email protected]

Career Objective: BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS Proven leadership ability to develop profitable business, acquire new markets, and increase market share. Highly regarded as a global thinker with ability to foresee trends early on and capitalize on them. Strengths include: sales, negotiation skills, strategic planning, and operations management. Recognized for ability to create highly productive employees.

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE VP, Business Development, iWork Manager, Los Angeles, CA, 2000–Present Program Manager, Associated Grocers, Los Angeles, CA, 1996–2000 Program Director, Arctic Seafoods, 1990–1996

Strategic Planning/Business Development • Established 80% of high tech startup company’s new business. Secured strategic partners, set up entire ebusiness online system, established financial operations, negotiated highly lucrative deals, acquired large sales accounts, developed marketing plan, and hired and trained staff. Company reached profitability within 15 months, and currently produces net profits of 20%. • Created and implemented new corporate employee performance policies for billiondollar organization with 1,400 employees. Results streamlined operations, reduced workforce by 10%, increased efficiency and productivity, yielding an annual savings of $400,000. • Contributed to billion-dollar company’s strategic plan forecasting potential revenue expenditures, risk, liabilities, legal costs, and employee benefit expenses and also performed liability analysis on potential merger. • Conceived, developed and implemented sophisticated marketing campaign, and sales strategy that included establishment of an ecommerce website. Results produced a no-competitors niche with high levels of profitability.

Negotiations • Negotiated with vendors, partners and contractors, obtaining favorable terms and rates that lowered costs by 10%. • Negotiated with 12 collective bargaining units (unions) to obtain agreement on employee performance policy changes. Policies were implemented, effective, and survived legal challenges. • Served as top negotiator on numerous legal, loss, and insurance claims resolving conflicts and ending claims for billion-dollar company.

EDUCATION BS, Business Administration, California State University, Northridge, CA, 1990.

191

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 192

Winning Cover Letters

Here’s the job advertisement on the Internet that caught Curtis’ eye:

Strategic Client Account Manager Solutions, Inc., an integrated services firm specializing in the creation of online solutions, seeks a qualified Strategic Client Account Manager to join our team. Our areas of expertise include strategic planning, software and systems development, branding and graphic design, marketing and communications strategy, editorial services, information architecture, multimedia development, and mission-critical hosting. Headquartered in Los Angeles, with additional offices in London and Chicago, Solutions has a proven history of creating practical online solutions for today’s top corporations. Solutions’ Sales and Marketing team is at the front of the Solutions brand, and is the first to represent Solutions’ methodology, vision, and team alignment to our clients. Our consultative approach exemplifies our commitment to quality of service and building long-term relationships with our clients. The ultimate goal of client satisfaction is to hear, “I would not only choose the Solutions brand of service, but will refer and repeat my business with Solutions because of the reputation and track record.” We are currently seeking a Strategic Client Account Manager to join our team. The successful candidate will possess the following skills and abilities: • Consultative and software experience • Systems integrations sales experience • E-business Consultative sales experience • Experience working with Fortune 1500 accounts • Experience leading client/team strategy meetings • Strategic account planning • Successful sales and partner alliance relationships within the California and Las Vegas areas • High-level understanding of industry trends in Solutions’ competitive markets • Previous account management experience in establishing and managing large-scale corporate relationships is required • Ability to develop a thorough understanding of Solutions’ internal business processes

192

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 193

INTERNET, FAXING, SCANNING

• Excellent written and verbal communication skills, including experience in presenting projects, proposals and strategies • At least 5 years of professional experience in Project Management/ Relationship Management in the Professional Services industry • Must be willing to travel • BA Degree

Summary of Strategic Client Account Manager Job Responsibilities: • Cultivate business with prospective clients. • Understand and have experience with all aspects of the business development cycle. • Demonstrate an understanding of Solutions’ strategies, philosophies, procedures, technologies and work products. • Analyze business situations and apply Solutions core competencies to the needs of the client. • Identify and pursue strategic relationships within the business community. • Actively participate in the implementation of vision and strategy for Solutions and the Strategic Account Management Group. • Effectively lead client meetings and present Solutions’ market offerings to management and prospective clients. • Create written proposals that include Solutions market offerings. • Demonstrate an ability to critically analyze and clearly communicate the benefits of Solutions’ work. Benefits are discussed at the time of interview and may include medical, dental, vision, life insurance, short and long term disability, consolidated leave and 401(k).

193

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 194

Winning Cover Letters

Here’s the email we sent:

From: [email protected] Date: Fri, 31 May 2002 9:32:19 EST Subject: Strategic Client Account Manager To: [email protected] Currently a VP of Business Development for an ecommerce software company and have secured 80% of all company business. Demonstrated ability to achieve the highest level of customer satisfaction and service that builds long-term relationships. Developed all strategic partnerships, closing deals that secured millions of dollars in revenue. Excel in strategic planning, targeted marketing, customer service, and contract negotiations. A complete resumé is attached. Thank you for your consideration, Curtis Knowles 1 Main Street Los Angeles, CA 99100 (310) 755-1112 [email protected]

Here’s the snail mail cover letter we sent with an attached resumé:

194

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 195

INTERNET, FAXING, SCANNING

Curtis Knowles

1 Main Street 99100 Los Angeles, CA 12 11 5(310) 75 k.net lin rth cknowles@ea Solutions et, 3rd Floor 413 Canyon Stre Los Angeles, CA 98101 March 1, 2002

er

nt Account Manag

RE: Strategic Clie

est level of cusoffering the high to t en itm m m co peat busie have the same t of long-term re en pm lo ve de We think alike! W e ensure th stry leader. n and service to d remain an indu an e tomer satisfactio m co be to at is the best way n because I ness. I believe th t Manager positio un co Ac nt ie Cl c gi my cured in your Strate done it before in e I’v ce sin I’m most interest e, ic rv e/ ient se y current softwar er that level of cl y regarded by m el id feel I could deliv w is ch oa pr s. consultative ap company busines rent position. My cured 80% of all se ve ha I on as re as the ner for our online company the strategic plan am d an e sit eb ew panies, ecommerce onlin Fortune 500 com to ns tio ta en es I established our ess with pr loped new busin company. I deve fit organizations. d national nonpro an , ts en m rn ve the key state go d close deals are an , et rg ta y, tif en id ills and ability to My negotiation sk b. g to your jo strengths I’d brin -level program working as a high e nc rie pe ex of s e inner workve seven year ry familiar with th ve Additionally, I ha am I n. tio za derstandllion-dollar organi mpanies. This un co e rg la of manager for a bi s se es proc secure sales. decision making y to develop and ilit ings and internal ab y m in e ag rategic advant e ing has been a st lieve I could mak contribution I be le ab lu va e th il in greater deta I’d like to discuss (310) 755-1112. n be reached at to Solutions. I ca ost appreciated. nsideration are m Your time and co Sincerely,

Curtis Knowles Curtis Knowles

195

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 196

Winning Cover Letters

Mailing, via postal mail, a hard copy of the email resumé and cover letter is a very smart job search technique to employ. This helps greatly to ensure your application gets to the employer and if it got overlooked once, you have a second chance to get noticed and snag an interview.

Faxing Many employers run ads that give a brief job description, stating only a fax number. This is a tip-off they very urgently need to hire someone. The ad Kenneth responded to required a proven track record in high-level sales. The ad demanded a salary history (which we ignored) and offered a salary ranging from $85,000 to $120,000. Kenneth’s letter got him called in for an interview. He was told to bring W2s from his last two years as proof of his income. This bothered him. He almost told them to forget it. I advised him to go to the interview and say that if he was the guy for the job, he’d share his returns—since he’d been an independent contractor, all he had were his annual tax returns. That’s what he did. He also inquired why they required this and the interviewer said, “Because there are a lot of liars out there. I need a top sales guy who is a top guy, not just a bragger who wants to be, but can’t deliver when he’s hired.” Sometimes unusual requirements aren’t so unreasonable when you understand the employer’s concerns and objectives. The interview went just fine from there. Ken told me later, “I understood the guy better and I felt I did fine selling myself. I wasn’t too crazy about him and decided to pass on this job.” You’ll notice we used a larger font size for Ken’s letter (14 point) to make it cleaner and easier to read, since faxing often blurs letters and numbers.

196

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 197

INTERNET, FAXING, SCANNING

r Kenneth Regie Way

d 1711 Puget Soun 126 Edmonds, WA 98 (425) 555-1212 [email protected]

Editorial Note: Original all appeared on one page

Equipto Corp. tment ATTN: HR Depar for Sales Position es im T le tt ea S e t in Th RE: Advertisemen Concern: rial To Whom It May ufacturing indust an m p to a h it w ent cord A proven track re erations managem p o h it w er h et g ve to bring to your sales representati ld u o w I d n u ro backg hlights of my ig experience is the h e th f o e m o S osition. Industrial Sales p de: y background inclu selling machiner , ry o it rr te t es w h Nort gion where there • Developed new re t es w h rt o N in sales ld $7.2 million so and establishing s: lt u es R e. ar sh market was no previous Sales over five years. ds, including Top ar aw s le sa al n io at • Received six n Representative. cturing process, as fa u an m e th in ce ien tion • Extensive exper the sales, distribu in se ti er p ex g in lv well as problem so f products. ing and installation o ployees and build em g in ag an m ience • Extensive exper e teams. highly productiv for my current g in rk o w s ar ye last six at I developed. th I have spent the ry o it rr te t es w e North n, Washington, o g organization in th re O f o s st si n ifically co e in My territory spec rn and raised her o B . ia b m lu o C ith Idaho, and British llent familiarity w ce ex e av h I t, es w s. the Pacific North re, and dynamic u lt cu y, h p ra g eo territory’s g

197

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 198

Winning Cover Letters

the ater detail about re g in u yo h it w lk d I would like to ta ur organization an yo to g n ri b ld u I co valuable benefits (425) 555-1212. at e m ct ta n co team. Please st appreciated. o m e ar n io at er d nsi Your time and co Sincerely,

Kenneth Regier

Kenneth Regier Resumé attached

198

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 199

INTERNET, FAXING, SCANNING

When you FAX a cover letter be sure you follow these guidelines:

✔ Use a clean, easy-to-read font. ✔ Make phone number/email address distinctly legible. ✔ Use a large font—preferably 13 or 14 point. ✔ Use ample white space. ✔ Use a good laser printer, the crisper the original, the better. ✔ Fax it to yourself first to make sure it appears OK. ✔ Do not use a computer to fax (it often changes the format, loses paragraphs, and distorts sentences). Use a real fax machine.

Netiquette Many people fail to realize there are communication rules for good business communications. One HR manager for a large utility discussed emails: “Want to know what we see first? The mistakes, typos, and spelling errors. Before we read the words in any email, our eyes home in on careless boo-boos. Then we quickly delete and go to the next message. After all, if they’re this bad when they’re applying, they’ll surely be worse on the job.” Sage advice you’d be wise to heed. Here are some other important guidelines to follow as you communicate via the Net:

✔ Be informal, but polite and professional. Demonstrate good business conduct with everyone you contact. You never know who (e.g., a potential boss) they may forward your email on to.

✔ Never send anyone a “flame mail.” These rantings usually come

back to haunt you. Be particularly careful not to badmouth your former boss or company—no matter how justified, it’ll reflect badly on you.

✔ Use Caps sparingly. Caps are used in emails to emphasize by SCREAMING your message, so use them rarely, if at all.

✔ Use a professional email name. [email protected] won’t con-

vey the message that you are a serious professional. Save the humorous names for friends, but create another business name, such as [email protected], to use for all business correspondence, even when asking friends for networking help.

199

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 200

Winning Cover Letters

✔ Expand your email network. Many job hunters have been aided by

the easy reach of email. You can now tap into your college’s alumni group, national professional organization list, even friends of friends easily and quickly. Be specific in your requests. When you ask for career guidance, write out three to five questions for people to answer. Some like instant messaging. But many busy professionals don’t, so ask before you send an “instant message.” Many will respond if allowed to do so when it’s convenient and not intrusive.

✔ Ask when you don’t know. Occasionally, you’ll see an ad or hear of a new trend or buzzword, and you won’t know exactly what it is. Email and inquire so you can quickly educate yourself on the key terms. Email is an excellent way to contact leaders for their views on new trends in your industry, too.

✔ Use the email subject area to quickly identify topic. State exactly

what you want in the subject line (e.g., “Keith Whitestone referred me,” or “More info on legislative policy group”). This will increase your response rate in a timely manner. Remember, many people receive an average of 50 to 100 emails per day, so quickly inform them your message isn’t just junk mail. Later on, this can also help recipients, especially if they hear about a job or something relevant to you. They can quickly scroll through, find your email address amidst the hundreds of messages in their in-box, and fire you off a lead, contact, or important information.

✔ Always send an email note. Don’t just send an empty email with a

resumé attachment. If you are sending a resumé, I recommend you always use an EXTENDED SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS in your email letter.

✔ Proofread! Spell-check, read out loud, and correct every email before you send it. Typos are glaring, too many HR managers pointed out. Never give them a reason to delete you for being careless.

Email can be a very important job hunting tool. It can allow you to meet people and begin a relationship with someone you’d never, ever thought you’d get the opportunity to talk to. Barry loved films. His dream was to someday use his marketing skills to promote movies. He would always go to websites and read about films and would send off emails to the producers and directors on those he liked. Some actually emailed back and Barry used the opportunity to email a reply and began corresponding via email with a few movie pro-

200

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 201

INTERNET, FAXING, SCANNING

ducers. Eventually he called and they began a more friendly relationship. Barry then went to visit a couple of these producers. He drove hundreds of miles to spend the afternoon and meet “in person.” What started out as an email led to a solid business relationship. Then, when one of the producers began a major film project, he discussed it with Barry. At 32, Barry packed his bags and moved so he could become the film company’s new Promotions and Marketing Director. It was a long path over a 40-month stretch, but some dreams are worth the effort. Just think, it all started with a simple email. And follow up emails that sent on helpful, relevant, or useful information that got a conversation going. Barry would email referrals and media contacts— anything that would be helpful to the producers. All those emails added up and eventually landed him the job of his dreams.

201

9413_Ryan/CL_c08.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 202

9413_Ryan/CL_c09.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 203

Chapter

THANK-YOU LETTERS T H AT C A N L A N D YOU THE JOB

9

T

he Human Resources Manager of a Fortune 500 company said that in her organization, HR meets all candidates first for a screening (or, more aptly, a screening out) interview. She’s interviewed hundreds of people, and notes that maybe 25% sent thank-you notes. Of those, only a selective majority said more than just “thanks.” “A wellwritten letter outlining a few key skills always causes me to pull their application and/or resumé and give them another look,” this HR manager revealed. Over the course of my career, I’ve been involved in hiring hundreds of people. One time John, Executive Director for a regional nonprofit agency, and I were looking for an event planner. After interviewing several people, we had it down to two candidates. I recall John saying, “I wish one would send a thank-you note. Then we would know she was interested and really wanted the job. I’ve found that if you give the job to someone with a lot of interest, they do a better job for you,” he told me. Employers can be influenced after you’ve left the interview. A thankyou note could simply reaffirm they’ve made the right choice. In John’s case, a note could have tipped his hand in your favor if the job was between you and someone else. Always, always send a thank-you note. Emails DO NOT count! You can use either a handwritten note card (preferred by most) or type and mail a letter. Colleen Kill, a Regional Sales Manager who’d hired hundreds of people during her career, said a poorly written ‘thanks for talking with me’ letter can be a deficit. Bad penmanship just gives a negative impression, so if you can’t write or print well—type. When asked if a thank-you letter ever influenced her, Colleen offered some key, strategic advice: “When I was

203

9413_Ryan/CL_c09.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 204

Winning Cover Letters

looking for my own position I did something I’d seen candidates I considered hiring do that impressed me. After I departed the interview, I considered all I’d learned. Based on my knowledge of the job and what was discussed, I’d determine two or three of my specific abilities or skills and would link them directly to how the company would benefit. Then I’d compose a nice handwritten note and mention these benefits.” Colleen, who interviewed with CEOs and other top executives, wrote handwritten, personalized “strategic” thank-you notes to all. She got three job offers and had the luxury of comparing three terrific jobs before deciding where she wanted to work. She advised, “A well-done thank you can break you away from the competition. Employers typically have two to three really excellent choices, and this extra effort can be the nudge that pushes them to select you. You’ll seem a little bit better as a communicator—a key factor for success in any job,” she said. Jim Medzigan, who has also hired hundreds of employees during his career as a senior executive at Boeing, said, “I’ve always preferred handwritten notes—then I can tell the person really wrote them themselves. I’ve interviewed people who left and sent letters they so obviously did not write. You get a good gauge of their communication levels in the interview—especially with engineers or foreign workers—then this literary letter comes in, obviously doctored by someone else. They are only fooling themselves if they think we’ve missed the glaring difference.” Jim also sat on the board of directors for a college and was on the hiring committee responsible for finding a new president. They conducted interviews with all seven finalists and everyone wrote thank-you letters. Some were handwritten, some typed. “I personally liked the handwritten ones—it’s a little bit extra, especially today, where everything we read is typed,” Jim reported. “This small touch says you have that little extra you’ll always bring to the job. Many board members said they felt the same way.” When I asked numerous hiring managers, they said handwritten or nicely printed notes are preferred. The main exception is when you’ve forgotten or need to expand on something important to doing the job— this warrants a lengthier response. In that case, a typed letter is better. Jim warned about one big mistake you also need to avoid. When the board read one presidential candidate’s flowery, rambling thank-you letter, “We wanted to vomit,” he said. “She lost the job right then and there with her ‘your college is the greatest place ever and I’m dying to work for such a magnificent institution with such a terrific board, etc.’ letter.”

204

9413_Ryan/CL_c09.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 205

THANK-YOU LETTERS

“Please. You can’t snow us,” he said. “Maybe this was her style and it might fit somewhere else, but we were repulsed by it.” “Instead,” he recommended, “state ‘I think I could make a valuable contribution to your college, good as it is, drawing on my strengths in technology and classroom integration. This especially will help the college become even better and advance your students to meet the needs of the work world.’ Now that’s impressive,” he offered. Bottom line: Send a well-done thank-you note. They are influential, yet for many job openings more than half the applicants never send them. Make it personal, but specifically stress two or three of your strongest qualities and how the company will benefit if you are hired and join its team.

The Strategic Note Your note card should have the words “Thank You” gracing the front in a professional, businesslike style. Personal stationery with your name or initials embossed can work well as long as it is a business style—nothing artsy or cutesy, please. Jot down a few lines in your own handwriting or printing, thanking the prospective employer for the opportunity and reiterating strengths you would add as a “valuable contributor to their team.” Since many employers find thank-you notes a positive influence if you are a good candidate, use this last chance to sell yourself. Since most applicants don’t send them, this is a chance for you to move to the top and be reevaluated. Notes must be mailed within 24 hours, preferably on the same day as the interview, if time allows. To ensure you have the right address, ask the interviewer for a business card before you depart. If it’s a several-person interview, be sure to write a note to each one.

205

9413_Ryan/CL_c09.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 206

Winning Cover Letters

Thank-You Note Card

Thank you

Dear Tom: Thank you for meeting with me today. I’m committed to your agency’s mission. I believe my strengths in budgeting and planning would benefit the agency, as I’m great at containing costs while increasing services. My idea of a silent online fundraising event will leverage and increase funds raised by your annual event. In the past, I’ve always given 110%. As your Association Director, I know I can provide solid leadership and build your staff into an even better and more productive team. Your time and consideration are most appreciated. Mary Brown

206

9413_Ryan/CL_c09.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 207

THANK-YOU LETTERS

The In-Depth Letter Some circumstances warrant a longer letter. Sam, a former accounting manager, faced a big obstacle—he had taken a three-year sabbatical. In my survey of 600 hiring managers, only three said they would completely dismiss a candidate after one year of unemployment. Most told us, however, they’d want a “reasonable explanation.” A sabbatical, as Sam called it, would hardly be easily accepted in the finance world. I’m telling Sam’s story because he faced what many colleagues told him were insurmountable odds as he began his hunt for a new position. Together we wrote a good resumé that focused on his past skills, while keeping the sabbatical toward the end of his work history. He had accomplished much before he left, but the gap would be impossible to hide. His cover letter and resumé got a screening phone call from Personnel to inquire about qualifications and the work gap, with the usual goal of disqualifying him as a candidate. In Sam’s case, he used the conversation to learn more about the job and he was quite savvy in writing a follow-up thankyou letter that truly pointed out some valuable skills the employer could use. He stressed some key strengths, such as his eight years of experience as an accounting manager with a Fortune 500 company. He then provided a few paragraphs of specific details and accomplishments, concluding with his strong people management skills and recently updated computer expertise. Very few people ever take this extra step. It worked, and got Sam the next interview, after which he wrote another very influential thank-you letter. He later learned these letters really impressed and influenced this employer. They highlighted his abilities and reinforced the impression that he could do the job. It also reinforced the fact that he had not “lost it” while he was on sabbatical. The letters helped eliminate any doubts the employer may have had. Sam’s letters were indeed powerful and highly effective. Although critics had said that he would never land another prominent position in his field again, Sam is now happily employed at a Fortune 500 company as an international accounting manager. (See his actual letters in Chapter 3.) Another terrific example of how a well-written thank-you letter changed a final hiring outcome was what happened to my client Gail, a temporary librarian for the Suffolk County Public Library. She contacted me, saying her situation was desperate. The library had a rare full-time opening for a children’s librarian—the exact job she’d been doing parttime for six months. She applied and was interviewed. A week later, her

207

9413_Ryan/CL_c09.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 208

Winning Cover Letters

boss told her they’d decided to extend their search and open the position to external candidates, noting she could reapply if she chose to. Gail’s desperation came from realizing they had decided NOT to hire her for the full-time job. She panicked because years could go by before another opening popped up—she had to try again. She explained to me that she found it hard to quantify the kind of work she does, and felt she interviewed poorly. I suggested that Gail write a well-thought out, comprehensive letter clearly outlining all she’d done and could do. Together we identified many excellent points on how she could bring a great deal to the job— many points she’d never brought up during her interview. We spent quite a while coming up with this very influential letter.

208

9413_Ryan/CL_c09.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 209

THANK-YOU LETTERS

Gail Frappolluei Apt. 313

ealth Aven 2311 Commonw Brighton, MA 02166 (617) 555-1212 com gfrappolli@yahoo. February 20th, on Ms. Sarah Johnst ian ar Managing Libr Boston Library 0 Boston, MA 0210

ciere Ms. Marilyn Nan Region Manager stem gional Library Sy Suffolk County Re 0 Boston, MA 0210

arilyn:

Dear Sarah and M

n to luable contributio indeed make a va ld ou this w I ke at ta th like to th to know rvices Librarian. I’d Se I wanted you bo s n’ re ild Ch e may not r patrons as th experience, which d an s th the library and ou ng re st y m ed w. I have submitt ore clearly outline ary 30th intervie opportunity to m nu Ja r ou g as rin b, du jo the iled by me ve reapplied for have been as deta Resources and ha an m Hu to ls ia er the necessary mat d. te Sarah sugges mporary librarian, I’ve made as a te ns io ut to rib nt co st munity members w both pa aw in more com dr I’ve outlined belo d an s m ra og w to expand pr plus ideas on ho services. urces and library use children’s reso bring to the job: ily story Here’s what I can eschool and fam pr s ou er m nu g entin ren and their planning and pres nships with child tio • Experience in la re p lo ve de n, I have ked hard to stomers. In additio cu times. I have wor at pe re y an m ren’s rary, and have rover for the Child G n An rie families at the lib Lo as ch ing skills to l author events, su library and publish booked successfu y m on up aw dr was so well ram. I would ce this program sin , Book Week prog re tu fu e th with ing programs in rary appearances plan other appeal e to combine lib lik ld ou w I . d ity an mmun authors to come received by our co tting interesting ge us th . s, so ur to do ity oney to scheduled public ending a lot of m sp t ou ith w ry cu ra e lib r our stomers present here at th e library easier fo th of ld or w ex pl to use the cating the com owing them how sh • Experience mak by te ga vi na ve and adults) to eir hands. I belie (children, teens, s they want in th ce ur so re ie th tim t in pu and feel less alog, place holds, ner help patrons an m le ab ch oa lib ing the rary yle and appr el comfortable us fe that my softer st em th e ak m ry, as I quickly dated by the libra peat visits. and encourage re

209

9413_Ryan/CL_c09.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 210

Winning Cover Letters

ference ser’s advisory and re er ad re l ra ne ge g experirience in providin e than 12 years of or m ve ha so • Extensive expe al I but . I have had ince last spring), us publishing jobs io vice to patrons (s ev pr in n io at ader’s advile find inform reference and re a g in ence helping peop ud cl in , ry so r and a reading g in reader’s advi additional trainin ken last Septembe ta n re ild ch ith w working arl two years ago. sory workshop on ecialist Nancy Pe sp ry ra lib by ht ug Library. guidance class ta ions at the Boston ct lle co le ni ve ju computers, weeding ledge and use of ow • Experience in kn y m in y ilit de readers, high level of ab n system, bar co io at ul • Demonstrated rc ci RL CA rnet searching, search, and locate database and Inte ation, conduct re rm fo in d fin to s policie and library system ers. om resources for cust libraries to programs at area s n’ re ild ch e nc my ideas to enha milies: Here are some of ildren and their fa ch r fo e ac pl g in a welcom ung make the library center to serve yo homework help a or d/ ted an ap m ad ra ight be chool prog excellence that m • Add an after-s of s el od m e e m th mmunity. So hool Program at people in our co ringboard After Sc Sp e th e ar of s y er ar br stom ram at the Free Li to serve library cu and the LEAP Prog y; ar br Li programs, and I ic bl Pu J portant in these Princeton N im e ar s ip sh er willing to mmunity partn them. I would be nd fu Philadelphia. Co lp he to ey s. obtain grant mon the needed fund believe we could sist with securing as to s ce ur a so sk t “A e and gran k help such as th research financing on-line homewor g in id ov pr er id ns . We might also co ary system offers e Providence Libr th m ra y Resource Cenog ph pr ” ra ve og and use Bi Librarian Li d fin to w ho ns uld be used re that explai This brochure co is. it • Create a brochu nt ie en nv ce could oritative and co . A similar resour em st sy ry ter and how auth ra lib r ou s , but throughout l to our customer ld be very helpfu not only at Boston ou w e es Th y. ar Electric Libr be developed for . time for librarians to let them know and would save rested customers te in t ac nt co to ele. These lists e email lists even larger client an • Develop and us ild bu d an s m ricians, and ren’s progra providers, obstet re ca y of upcoming child da , ns ria ra of achers, school lib er’s advisory lists might include te ing is email read er id ns co s ha th is or w Th ssible. other idea or monthly if po rly pediatricians. An te ar qu ls— a ia in children’s mater System, as noted age-appropriate ma Public Library co Ta e th in lly e th ccessfu ly cost free once been done very su program is virtual e Th . le tic ar s w recent library ne e beginded. s offered near th nt re pa r ei addresses are ad th d an ildren d services the ram aimed at ch the resources an of • Establish a prog e m so ht lig the library ol year to high who haven’t used s nt re ning of the scho pa lp he ht This program mig e panic for library provides. wn on last-minut do t cu d ul co It advance. A ng time. the possibilities in of themselves in a lo e m so ow kn n s s and childre ents well—perhap resources if parent home school stud e rv se so al d ul this co program such as

210

9413_Ryan/CL_c09.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 211

THANK-YOU LETTERS

I would also kline as a model. oo Br at s m ra og ifer Mitchell’s pr ogram. we could use Jenn to promote this pr s ol ho sc d an As work with PT ith the needs and e stay in touch w m lp he to n ke ta the steps I’ve Here are some of ilies: ren and their fam parents ask interests of child ns and questions tio es qu e nc re fe re s so I’ll be even ntion to children’ not familiar with • I pay close atte I’m ng hi yt an on read standard follow up comes up. I also on their behalf. I n tio es qu r ila t Do Chilnext time a sim Children and Wha r fo s better prepared ok Bo st Be e sources such as ovide them with children’s referenc ’ questions and pr ns tro pa e at ip tic so I can an dren Read Next? s and service. excellent answer itiative to and of my own in e tim n ow y m on ildren in t to these events e the needs of ch rv se d an s In addition, I wen m ra s prog ledge of children’ increase my know ton Library our area: oryFest at the New St g rin du s le ta African-American • A program of November 13th last summer. Dedham Library, e th at t er nc co y, December 27th • Nancy Stewart’s the Quincy Librar at m ra t workog pr e” “Hug lum developmen cu rri cu h 5t • Sunny Strong’s ch ar ’s M tend Sunny Strong young children. • I also plan to at aring stories with sh on y ar novels, br Li e re nt n’s picture books, re ild shop at the Brai ch y an m ch ’s , listen to, or wat ledge and reader • I personally read to increase know e tim n ow y m deos on recordings and vi advisory skills. ary and have at the Boston Libr f af st nt lle ce ex sting patrons and ople there. I love I enjoy the intere hips with many pe ns tio la re g kin or ting array of prod good w resources, its exci of already develope n io ct lle co e w ideas and cause of its larg ho is open to ne w er ag working there be an m a d an ces for children, I like working to grams and resour g opportunities. in in tra d an k or resting w library feel. gives her staff inte a neighborhood it ve gi to as so ry develop the libra If you offer it to ified for the job. al qu ly ue iq un uce posions, I believe I am in effort, and prod 0% 15 u yo For all these reas ve gi to it, heart and soul in ion. me, I will put my e and considerat tim u for your yo k an Th . lts su re tive , With best wishes

Gail Frappolli

3

t. 31 ealth Avenue Ap 2311 Commonw Brighton, MA 02166 (617) 555-1212 com gfrappolli@yahoo.

211

9413_Ryan/CL_c09.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 212

Winning Cover Letters

Gail got her interview. I spent a couple of hours face-to-face with her coaching her on how to handle the meeting. We decided the best strategy was to immediately bring up this letter (having copies for both interviewers) to discuss it in-depth. She did that and emailed me the day after the interview, saying, “I definitely improved, but I’m still not terrific in an interview. But having the letter there helped, as we immediately went to it upon my suggestion. I know it’s the key factor that helped me the most.” Soon after the interview, she called me, pretty hysterical and excited, screaming, “They hired me! They hired me!” I knew Gail was highly capable and would do a terrific job, but she had to communicate her skills and potential. Her letter was the tool that gave her the edge and saved her from the jaws of defeat. Where Gail’s letter was extensive, here are two more that were very effective but much briefer.

212

9413_Ryan/CL_c09.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 213

THANK-YOU LETTERS

Thank-You Letter

Kenneth Smith ne 1 Cherry Park La 1 Newark, NJ 0708 (201) 555-0111 om [email protected]

July 30th John Zollman Division manager Quantron P.O. Box 67000 8 Newark, NJ 0708 Dear John:

u are develThe products yo g. tin ci ex d an l lpfu rfect s meeting both he iddle of, are a pe I found yesterday’ you are in the m s es oc pr g in er engine oping, plus the re t background. and managemen ns io at er op y m r match fo e and achieving th building morale s, am te e siv he ntron. I producing co le addition to Qua ab lu va I pride myself in a e ak m I’d you desire. I know company. turnaround results more about your n ar le to ty ni rtu oppo thank you for the terest.

sion with great in

I await your deci Sincerely,

Kenneth Smith Kenneth Smith

213

9413_Ryan/CL_c09.qxd

8/6/02

8:51 AM

Page 214

Winning Cover Letters

Thank-You Letter

Kristin got the job and a significant raise, too!

en Kristin Anders vd SE 1575 Hampton Bl 105 St. Louis, MO 63 11 01 5(314) 55 [email protected]

July 27th

Edward Phelps St. Louis Energy PO Box 10004 111 St. Louis, MO 63 regret is that u today. My only yo ith w w ie rv te in for you the e opportunity to t me summarize le , So n. io Thank you for th sit po s the ld complement ort time to discus b and how I wou jo we had such a sh e th to g in br e skills I would strengths and th in on the team: e bring projects budget experienc d an t en em ag t man • Extensive projec safety practices budget. in es, construction, ur time and with ed oc pr s, ie lic ledge in gas po • Thorough know people in buildution designs. a diverse group of and energy distrib ith w g kin or w d focused. municating an being customer le hi w s • Skilled at com al go g in mediate team and achiev matters need im n he w s ing a productive m le ob pr solve ond quickly and • Flexible to resp Estimating/ t Manager, Cost ec oj attention. Pr s: m ra og pr mputer software cel. • Proficient on co indows 95, and Ex W g, lin du he Sc t ec oj izing projects. Materials, Pr ning, and priorit an pl t, en em ag man assure you • Skilled at time act me. I want to nt co to u yo e ag estions, I encour you select me, be If you have any qu ager position. If an M t ec oj Pr e th terested in ne. that I am very in I always have do 0% to the job as 15 ve gi ill w I d assure preciated. ation are most ap er id ns co d an e Your tim

Dear Ed:

Sincerely,

Kristin Andersen Kristin Andersen

214

9413_Ryan/CL_c10.qxd

8/6/02

8:52 AM

Page 215

Chapter

T H E A C C E P TA N C E / EMPLOYMENT LETTER

10

M

any people are so ecstatic at having landed a great job they forget to neatly wrap it all up in a letter describing all the terms of employment. The letter needs to convey enthusiasm as you accept the job while detailing your understanding of the job responsibilities, salary, and benefits to be paid, plus your start date. If relocation is involved, you should also include specifics on the package, benefits, and amounts received. Be clear on any particulars that deviate from the company’s standard policy. You’ll be happy to know that many companies automatically send offers in writing. Always triple-check to be sure that all specific terms, such as changed or added benefits you’ve negotiated, are listed. If the company doesn’t provide an employment letter, you’ll need to create your own and send it to your new boss for his or her signature. Usually this is accepted as a “business deal” and is quickly signed and filed in your personnel record. If your new boss gets a bit nervous on receipt of your letter and doesn’t want to sign it, get a full explanation why from him (or her) and HR. Here’s a perfect example. I had a client who was making a career change into the broadcast sales field. She was thrilled about her new job offer and the training program she’d enter. When her letter arrived, it made no mention of the training program they’d discussed at the interview. Her new boss said the company no longer planned to send her to the expensive training right away, and would likely send her after six to eight months on the job. The client knew this would be an impediment

215

9413_Ryan/CL_c10.qxd

8/6/02

8:52 AM

Page 216

Winning Cover Letters

to her successful transition. When another “promised perk” disappeared from the table, the client decided her future would be better served by a different employer—four weeks later she started work at a better radio station and has excelled ever since. By exercising caution, the client ensured her chances for success. Here’s her acceptance letter of employment for the job she’s at now:

216

9413_Ryan/CL_c10.qxd

8/6/02

8:52 AM

Page 217

THE ACCEPTANCE/EMPLOYMENT

ison Melinda J. KeStnrenet 104 Treecrest 37410 Philadelphia, PA 01 00 2(218) 79 .com sn m mkennison@

Feb. 20th

CONFIDENTIAL Sales Manager Kenneth Crowe, WPHA Radio ite 2100 7 Broad Street, Su 37400 Philadelphia, PA

with a startcount Executive, Ac s le Sa w ne ur yo ad pt the position as dule of 2% of all commission sche I’m happy to acce e th t ns ai siag bu , w th all ne 00 per mon id an extra 1% on pa be ing salary of $3,0 l I’l , lly na ts spend. Additio dollars my accoun . ring the first year ed vacation ness I bring in du s, including earn rk pe al rm no ’s e pany ical/dental and lif ceive all the com e match, full med I understand I’ll re at or rp co ily m ith fa w r ays fo r month, 401K y company co-p an s oe rg and sick days pe fo ch hi w , eek comelf and my family l begin the six-w I’l th 24 ch ar insurance for mys M and on day is March 1st coverage. My first enings per week. tw g program o ev in in tra s le sa id mitted to pany pa . I’m 100% com am te ur yo in jo to for selecting me and learning from Thank you again d to working with ar rw fo ok lo I p. e other to me in p sales re one and return th ep becoming your to ke r, tte le is th both copies of you. Please sign lope. the enclosed enve

Dear Ken:

Thank you,

Melinda Kennison n

Melinda Kenniso

half of Melinda ove terms on be ab e th to t en em nneth as a binding agre Sales Manager Ke e tiv ta en es Signature serves pr re h its PHA Radio, throug Kennison and W Crowe.

Melinda Kennison n

Melinda Kenniso Sales Rep

Date

Kenneth Crowe

Date

Sales Manager

217

9413_Ryan/CL_c10.qxd

8/6/02

8:52 AM

Page 218

9413_Ryan/CL_c11.qxd

8/6/02

8:52 AM

Page 219

Chapter

THE EASY TRACKING SYSTEM Find your limits. Exceed them. Repeat.

11

—ROBIN RYAN

D

uring the course of your job search, you’ll need to keep records of the date, location, and destination of your letters. I’ve found that having a single list of all letters sent allows you to trace your progress, as well as to keep track of any follow-up activities that need to be done. Use the Cover Letter Tracking System to record every letter you send out.

219

9413_Ryan/CL_c11.qxd

8/6/02

8:52 AM

Page 220

Winning Cover Letters

BONUS—

Efficient, Time-Saving Charts to Use COVER LETTER TRACKING SYSTEM

Job Applied For

220

Company

Date Sent

Response

Follow-up Done

9413_Ryan/CL_c11.qxd

8/6/02

8:52 AM

Page 221

THE EASY TRACKING SYSTEM

The next chart allows you to organize your weekly activities. It’s great for planning ahead and making sure you stay on top of your follow-up activities. Be sure to include any names, phone numbers, or addresses for easy execution of the activities. WEEKLY TO-DO LIST

Want ads to respond to:

Follow-up activities:

Informational Interviews to conduct:

Informational Interviews to arrange:

Self-Marketing/Prospect Letters to send:

Networking events to attend:

Days and times to conduct this work:

Send thank-you notes (list name and address):

221

9413_Ryan/CL_c11.qxd

8/6/02

8:52 AM

Page 222

Winning Cover Letters

Hot Leads Inevitably you’ll get hot leads (e.g., “I may have an opening next month—call then”). This requires special follow-up. Use index cards or forms to record the important information. HOT LEAD

Call on

(date)

Name: Company: Address: Phone: Email: Important notes:

Action to be taken:

Organize these every week by date, so you’ll never miss a potential opportunity that might just turn out to be your perfect job.

High-Impact Words and Phrases These lists will help you select just the right descriptive verb or task to emphasize your strengths to an employer. Review the lists and check off any appropriate words or tasks you’d like to incorporate into your letter.

222

9413_Ryan/CL_c11.qxd

8/6/02

8:52 AM

Page 223

THE EASY TRACKING SYSTEM

Words with Impact PEOPLE

THINGS

IDEAS

Accomplished Activated Adapted Adjusted Administered Advertised Advised Analyzed Arranged Assembled Assisted Calculated Cataloged Chaired Collaborated Conceptualized Conciliated Conducted Consulted Contracted Coordinated Delegated Demonstrated Developed Directed Distributed Effected Explained Indoctrinated Instructed Interviewed Managed Motivated Negotiated Organized Programmed Promoted Stimulated Supervised

Built Calculated Changed Compiled Completed Constructed Created Designed Drafted Edited Enlarged Established Evaluated Examined Expanded Expedited Fabricated Facilitated Familiarized Formulated Generated Governed Guided Hired Identified Improved Increased Indexed Influenced Informed Invented Investigated Operated Prepared Programmed Revised Specified Summarized Used

Adapted Analyzed Authored Coordinated Created Defined Devised Educated Established Executed Explained Illustrated Implemented Initiated Innovated Integrated Interviewed Investigated Maintained Manipulated Marketed Modified Monitored Negotiated Obtained Persuaded Presented Presided Processed Proposed Produced Publicized Recommended Recorded Recruited Related Surveyed Synthesized Transmitted

223

9413_Ryan/CL_c11.qxd

8/6/02

8:52 AM

Page 224

Winning Cover Letters

Notable Abilities You perform many tasks on your job that are important to point out in your letter. Here are some to get you thinking about the major skills you’ll bring to an employer. Account Management

Accounting

Administration

Analysis & Evaluation

Budgets

Advertising

Client Services

Business Management

Consulting

Computer Programming

Curriculum Development

Contract Negotiations

Counseling/Coaching/ Advising

Editing

Customer Service

Field Research

Employee Relations

Data Entry

Fiscal Management

Financial Analysis

Engineering

Graphic Design

Financial Planning

Inspection

Fundraising

Investigation/ Research

Computer Skills

Human Resources

Hiring Interviewing

Market Research

Labor Relations

Merchandising

Marketing

Office Administration

Multimedia

Presentations

Print Coordination

Policymaking

Product Development

Process Improvement

Product Management

Program Design

Inventory Control Language Interpretation Media Relations Negotiations

Outreach

Project Management

Program Management

Public Speaking

Promotion

Purchasing

Publicity

Publishing

Quality Improvement

Quality Assurance

Quality Assurance

Recruiting

Records Management

Research & Development

Reporting

Sales

Retail Strategic Planning

Strong Communications Skills

Systems Analysis

Teaching

Technical Skills

Technical Writing

Telecommunications

Testing

Training

Word Processing

Writing

Production Project Management Public Relations

224

Forecasting

Real Estate Reengineering Restaurant Management Statistical Analysis Supervision

9413_Ryan/CL_c11.qxd

8/6/02

8:52 AM

Page 225

THE EASY TRACKING SYSTEM

Guidelines to Follow When You Have a Full-Time Job Bob Holman, senior trainer for Franklin Quest, who’s taught over 700 seminars on Time Management points out: “ ‘I don’t have time to job hunt’ is a bogus excuse. You will find time if it’s important to you. Every person has the same amount of time—you control your schedule. If you see the need and it has high enough value to you, you’ll do it.” Planning your time is essential. I recommend you devote at least five hours a week to your job search. This means you must prioritize your time and really screen potential opportunities. Bob recommends you block out time on your calendar for the job search activities to accomplish. Put them on your weekly to-do list. Thirty minutes to one hour are the easiest amounts of time to carve out of a busy schedule. Plan the tasks. Do the work and write down your progress and any follow-up activities. Another time-saver that Bob suggests is to put complete information on your weekly to-do list—full names, phone numbers, emails, or addresses—whatever you’ll need so you won’t have to waste 15 minutes locating that essential information. Some self-selection and screening is essential to maximize the effectiveness of the efforts you make. Apply only for the good positions where your qualifications are a strong fit. Try to arrange at least one informational interview per week. Your targeted letters are going to be a major part of your job hunting process, so write and follow up with at least one every week. After 20 weeks, you will have approached 20 potential employers. Most employed people drag out their job hunts for a year or two. They become disheartened when the first 10 resumés don’t land a terrific new job. Job hunting takes concentrated, determined effort. My clients and seminar participants have followed these job hunting guidelines and succeeded in landing great jobs quickly. Don’t get discouraged and stop. It’s the continuous efforts that bring results. Make your action plan and implement the strategies you’ve learned in this book, and you, too, will be a success story.

225

9413_Ryan/CL_c11.qxd

8/6/02

8:52 AM

Page 226

Winning Cover Letters

Guidelines to Follow When You’re Not Working If you think you are unemployed, you are very wrong. Now your “job” is looking for a new position. After advising thousands of clients, I find that you’ll need to devote 25 to 30 hours per week to your job search plus an additional five hours per week to exercise. When you’re unemployed, your self-confidence is usually lower. It’s not uncommon to become depressed and lethargic. You may feel it’s hopeless. It’s not! Keeping a positive attitude requires effort. First and foremost, exercise Monday through Friday. Start your day no later than 8:00 A.M., walk, do aerobics, or go to the gym for a workout. Exercise will lift your spirits and allow you to stay on track. It’s also a good idea to read motivational books and see movies with happy endings—avoid all the tear-jerkers and depressing stories while you job hunt. Spending 25 to 30 hours a week on your job search may sound like a lot. Here’s how a typical week breaks down: Answer want ads, make follow-up calls, conduct market research to identify prospective companies, and network. Conduct two or three informational interviews. Send out three to four self-marketing letters. Make follow-up calls to employers who received your letters the week before. Keep calling until you reach your contact. (It’s best if you call that person because return calls can catch you off guard and ruin the chance to get job leads and information.) Attend one or two association, club, or group meetings to continue networking efforts. Keep accurate records and plan out your upcoming week on Sunday, so that Monday morning you’re engrossed in the job hunt again.

226

9413_Ryan/CL_c12.qxd

8/6/02

8:53 AM

Page 227

Chapter

BE A SUCCESS STORY

12

O “

ne of the worst mistakes job hunters make,” says HR manager Linda, “is that they simply send a resumé without a cover letter.” Throughout our hiring survey many employers echoed this same thought. The final consensus is this: A well-written cover letter is as important as your resumé to most hiring managers. Employers told us exactly how best to impress them. Here’s what they said: “Tell me the specific skills you have to offer that fit with —CEO what you know about my company’s needs.” “Offer some characteristics that make you valuable —Executive VP to me.” “Relate your background and skills to the job you are —HR manager applying for.” “I notice the overall appearance and if the letter is intel—Senior executive ligently written.” “Don’t oversell with a lot of puffed-up statements or try to second-guess me by saying, ‘I’m sure I’m the best person for the job.’ That’s for me to decide. Give me —Senior executive facts on how you can do my job.” “Well thought out; personalized to our needs; not a —HR manager form letter.” “Tell me quickly and clearly why I should hire you.” —HR manager

227

9413_Ryan/CL_c12.qxd

8/6/02

8:53 AM

Page 228

Winning Cover Letters

“Tell me why I should hire you.” several wrote. That’s exactly why I developed The Power Impact Technique. I wanted to write cover letters that got employers’ attention and answered that very question. A dozen years ago, I developed this technique to help myself get a job. It worked very well for me, even though the competition was steep. I started showing it to friends and students, and the technique was effective for them, too. Since that time, I’ve taught thousands how to write better cover letters by quickly addressing the employer’s needs. Every client in this book (plus hundreds of others who aren’t mentioned) has found a new job using the letters and the job hunting techniques I’ve discussed, explained, and illustrated in Winning Cover Letters. I base my advice on solid research. We surveyed 600 hiring managers from various fields, including CEOs, vice presidents, and human resource managers. These people make decisions every day on whether or not to hire you. I get so much personal satisfaction when I get a letter or phone call saying, “I got the interview.” When I know I’ve helped someone realize his or her own value and clearly communicate that to an employer, it makes my day. And, as so often happens, my clients contact me a few weeks later to ecstatically report, “I got the job!” That’s what I live for— to help people find better jobs. I believe you deserve to get up every morning to go to a job you’ll love! On average, you’ll work 11,000 days (nearly 100,000 hours). Don’t you want to use all that time in a situation you find personally satisfying? Meaningful employment, I believe, is something we should all strive for. I wrote this book for one reason and one reason only: I want you to land a great job, one that makes you happy and that you enjoy every day! When you’re happy with your work and your company, that feeling spills over into the rest of your life. So many clients generously helped with this book. I kept hearing, “Your techniques really helped me,” and “I got a terrific job using your strategies.” Client upon client “won” the job they wanted. Careers are managed, and like it or not, you control your own destiny. The power to obtain a new job is “You have the power within your grasp. You are a special and unique person to create your own whose talents some employer is hoping for. There is an success.” employer—or several employers—out there right now —ROBIN RYAN hoping to find someone like you to do that employer’s

228

9413_Ryan/CL_c12.qxd

8/6/02

8:53 AM

Page 229

BE A SUCCESS STORY

job. Don’t keep them waiting. Use The Power Impact Technique. Write letters that cause employers to notice you and want to talk to you. Believe in yourself. I believe in your success. All you have to do is to try, and continue trying, until you land the job of your dreams. You can do it! Just like so many others I’ve known. Don’t let a little fear or rejection stop you. An employer is out there waiting to hire you.

229

9413_Ryan/CL_c12.qxd

8/6/02

8:53 AM

Page 230

9413_Ryan/CL_bm.qxd

8/6/02

8:54 AM

Page 231

MORE CAREER HELP AVAILABLE

R

obin Ryan has written other valuable career books that are excellent resources to aid you in your career change. Her books, available at www.robinryan.com or in bookstores and from online vendors include: 60 Seconds & You’re Hired! (covers interviewing and salary negotiations) Winning Resumés (templates available on Robin’s website) Winning Cover Letters (templates available on Robin’s website) What to DO with the REST of Your Life Robin Ryan is the creator of numerous audio training programs, notably “The Power of Branding You.” She offers career counseling, resumé writing services, interview coaching, and assistance with salary negotiations via telephone consultations. For corporate clients, she provides outplacement, spouse relocation, and executive coaching services. A popular national speaker who has presented over 1,200 speeches, seminars, and keynote programs, Robin is available to speak to your group, company, or organization. For more details about her speaking and career coaching services, visit her web site at www.robinryan.com. Dozens of published articles by Robin are posted on the site, and you can also sign up there for her free e-mail newsletter, “Career News You Can Use.” To contact Robin Ryan, call her Seattle office at (425) 226-0414, or e-mail her at [email protected]. Visit her website at www.robinryan.com

231

9413_Ryan/CL_bm.qxd

8/6/02

8:54 AM

Page 232

9413_Ryan/CL_ind.qxd

8/6/02

8:54 AM

Page 233

INDEX

Academic degrees, designations of, 30 Acceptance/employment letters, 215–216 sample of, 217 Accomplishments: being specific about, 46 in cover letter vs. resumé, 37 evidence of, 26, 41 Actions equals Results concept, 41, 50 Annual reports, as job hunting resource, 106, 160 Benefits information: specifying need for, 35 verifying, 215–216 Blind ads, 95 Boasting: appropriate, 52 unsubstantiated, 41 Border use, in cover letters, 155 Bulleted lists, in cover letters, 152, 153 Burnout, appearance of, 37 Business cards: function of, 171 requesting, 175, 205 Business directories, as job hunting resource, 106, 160 Business stationery, 205 Buzzwords: finding meaning of, 200 when to use, 43 Career changes: creating cover letter for, 57–61, 129–132 job hunting and, 42

Career management, 228 “Career News You Can Use” newsletter (Ryan), 231 Career resources, 231 CD-ROM: employer data on, 106 work samples on, 156 Closing statement, impact of, 128 Coaching, 231 College alumni: for networking, 161, 199–200 for referrals, 174 College degree, lack of, 52 College graduates, new: job skills of, 42, 122 sample cover letters for, 123, 178 Communication skills: cover letter as example of, 17, 26, 28 desirability of, 122 thank-you letter as example of, 204 Computer disc, work samples on, 156 Computer faxes, 30, 199 Computer skills, desirability of, 51, 121, 122 Contact information: on business cards, 171 on faxed documents, 199 in letterhead, 155, 179, 186 omitting, 30, 46 Content: in cover letter vs. resumé, 37 specificity of, 26 Corporate culture: researching, 145, 160 targeting, 109–113 work samples and, 156

233

9413_Ryan/CL_ind.qxd

8/6/02

8:54 AM

Page 234

Index

Cover letters: closing statements in, 128 concise evidence in, 23 contact information in, 30, 46 customizing, 145, 151 to demonstrate communication skills, 17, 26, 28 design of, 133, 134, 155 email, 189, 194 example (bad), 45–46, 125 example (good), 47 (see also Sample cover letters) faxing, 196–199 as first impression, 49, 80 focus of, 48, 128, 144 to get interview, 17, 19 handwritten, 31 impact statements in, 55 importance of, 16–17, 23, 48, 227 keeping copies of, 154 length of, 41, 51, 155 to match resumé, 156 mistakes in (see Mistakes, in cover letters) opening sentence in, 19, 25, 46, 49, 50, 55, 150, 179, 186 photographs on, 44 samples of (see Sample cover letters) targeting to employer, 26, 109–113, 128, 159, 225 tone of, 95, 104, 113 tracking, 219–222 “valuable contributions” statements in, 55–56 want ad included in, 43 Creative arts positions, 133, 155 Credentials, prominence of, 30, 109 Customer service ability, 122 Designer paper, 133, 156 Desktop publishing positions, 133 Directors and Executives, 106 Downsizing, of position sought, 37 Editing, need for, 30 Electronic resumés, 189–190 Email: attachments with, 189, 200 etiquette in, 199–200 job hunting via, 200–201 thank-you notes via, 203 Email address: omitting, 46 professional name as, 199

234

Employers: badmouthing, 33, 199 finding potential openings with, 159–161 gaining attention of, 16, 19–20, 41, 44, 49, 51 informational interviews with, 173–175 lack of response from, 42 meeting needs of, 50, 81 phone messages from, 36 research on, 29, 51, 145 screening by, 35, 39, 76, 142, 159, 203, 207 targeting, 26, 109–113 unusual requirements of, 196 websites of, 29, 106 written job offers from, 215 Employment terms, verifying, 39–40, 215–216 Envelopes: addressing, 31 format of, 155 oversized, 156 Etiquette: Internet, 199–200 phone, 36 Executives: coaching for, 231 sample cover letters for, 95–105 senior, 65 Exercise, benefit of, 226 Experience: for career changes, 129 lack of, 122, 156 in military, 129 relevant to job opening, 27, 51, 145, 149–150 as volunteer, 119–121 Extended Summary of Qualifications, in electronic resumé, 189–190, 200 Faxing, 196–199 Federal Express delivery, 156 First impression: cover letters as, 49, 80 marketing package as, 156 5 Point Agenda, 78 Flextime hours, 39, 40 Focus, of cover letters, 48, 128, 144 Follow-up letters. See also Thank-you letters frequency of, 225 sample, 76–77, 79 tracking, 221

9413_Ryan/CL_ind.qxd

8/6/02

8:54 AM

Page 235

INDEX

Follow-up phone calls: after informational interview request, 174, 175, 187 after self-marketing letter, 161, 182 frequency of, 226 tracking, 221 Font: for faxed documents, 196, 199 size of, 30, 127 style of, 30 Format: for cover letter, 155, 156 of envelope, 155 for thank-you letters, 205 Form letters: as informational interview follow-up, 175 mass mailing, 127, 159 recommendation against, 26 Full-time employment, job hunting during, 225 Fundraisers, qualifications of, 119 Generalizations, as negative, 26, 127 Gimmicks: in cover letters, 44 in marketing packages, 156–157 Government organizations, corporate culture at, 109 Grammar mistakes, 28 Graphic arts positions, 133, 155 Handwritten letters: drawbacks of, 31 as thank-you notes, 203, 204 Hiring manager: identifying, 161 reaching, 106 targeting, 159, 160–161 Hiring managers’ survey: purpose of, 16, 23, 228 results of, 17–18, 24 Hoover’s Handbook of American Business, 106 Hoover’s Master List of America’s Top 2,500 Employers, 106 Impact statements, writing, 55 Industry language, when to use, 43 Informational interview requests, 159 frequency of, 225, 226 samples of, 176–178 template for, 186–187 tips for, 173–175 tracking, 221

Infotrac, as job hunting resource, 106, 160 Instant messaging, 200 Interests. See Personal interests Internet: etiquette for, 199–200 as job hunting resource, 106, 189 for research on employers, 29, 145 Interview. See also Informational interview requests via cover letter, 17, 19 as screening process, 203 Job analysis: examples of, 82, 84, 86, 89–90, 92–93, 95–96, 98–99, 101–102, 109, 146 need for, 29, 145 in Power Impact Technique, 50, 55 Job hunting: career changes and, 42 via email, 200–201 for ex-military personnel, 129 informational interviews in, 173–175 networking in, 61, 107, 161 for new graduates, 122 prospect letters in, 161–173 resources for, 106–107, 160, 189 self-marketing letters in, 159–161 while employed full-time, 225 while unemployed, 226 Job leads: from informational interview, 173–175 tracking system for, 222 Job market: competition in, 19, 38, 166, 173 hidden, tapping into, 159 Job skills: for career changes, 129 in cover letter vs. resumé, 37 demonstrating, 50–51 lack of, 156 list of, 224 quantifying, 38, 128 relevant to job opening, 27, 53, 55, 127, 145, 147–149 updating, 121 Job title, targeting, 127, 128, 160 Language: high-impact, 222–223 industry-specific, 43 Letterhead: for cover letter, 155 for informational interview request, 186 for prospect letter, 179

235

9413_Ryan/CL_ind.qxd

8/6/02

8:54 AM

Page 236

Index

Letters. See Acceptance/employment letters; Cover letters; Self-marketing letters; Thank-you letters Library, as job hunting resource, 106, 160 Log, of marketing packages sent, 156 Logos, recommendation against, 156 Mailing: via FedEx, 156 mass, 127, 159, 160 via postal service, 196 Marketing package, creating, 156–157 MBA, in skills package, 124–128 Meaningful employment, role of, 228 Military, changing careers from, 129–130 Million Dollar Directory, 106 Mistakes, in cover letters, 23–24 buzzword use, 43 in electronic documents, 199 example of, 45–46 failure to demonstrate qualifications, 34 failure to identify employer’s need, 42 gimmicks, 44 ignorance about prospective employer, 29 ignoring stated criteria, 27 including want ad, 43 lack of qualifications, 38 lack of substance, 37 lack of true interest, 42 negative information, 33 overqualified without explanation, 37 in phone etiquette, 36 poor presentation, 30–31 poor salutation, 32 salary/benefits specification, 35 sloppiness, 31 too general, 26 too long, 41 typographical errors, 28 unavailable for hours needed, 39–40 unsubstantiated boasting, 41 weak opening, 25, 50 Motherhood, work hours and, 39 MS Word, 121, 189 Netiquette, 199–200 Networking: in competitive fields, 166, 172 via email, 199–200 for employer information, 51, 145 as job hunting resource, 61, 107, 161 for referrals, 174 tracking, 221 when unemployed, 226

236

New graduates: informational interview request by, 178 job hunting by, 122 sample cover letter for, 123 Newspapers, as job hunting resource, 160. See also Want ads Nonprofit organizations: corporate culture at, 109 letters targeted to, 61–64, 112, 136 Online resources, in job hunting, 106. See also Internet Opening sentence: impact of, 19, 25, 46, 49 tailored to meet employer’s needs, 50 writing, for informational interview request, 186 writing, for prospect letter, 179 writing, for resumé, 55, 150 Organizational ability, 122 Overqualified candidates, 37 Overselling, 41 Overtime, as job requirement, 39, 40 Paper stock: colored, 44 designer, 133, 156 recommended, 155 Part-time employment, 39 Penmanship, poor, 31, 203 Personal information: appropriate use of, 151 excessive, 34 Personal interests: as job fit, 42, 159, 160 mentioning, 128 Phone messages, receiving, 36 Phone number: locations in cover letter, 55 omitting, 30, 46 Photographs, on cover letters, 44 Photography positions, 133, 155 Power Impact Technique: approach of, 49 as employer preference, 18, 25, 48, 80, 144 process of, 50 purpose of, 18–19, 128, 228 success with, 15, 16 (see also Success stories) writing process in, 146–154 Printing: of documents to be faxed, 199

9413_Ryan/CL_ind.qxd

8/6/02

8:54 AM

Page 237

INDEX

quality of, 30 recommendations for, 155 Productivity, evidence of, 26 Professional associations: attending meetings of, 226 for email contacts, 200 as job hunting resource, 160 Professionalism, importance of, 30, 31, 156, 205 Promotions, internal, 107–108 Proofreading: of electronic documents, 200 importance of, 28, 156 Prospect letters, 159 examples of, 162–165, 167, 171 template for, 179–185 tips for writing, 160–161 tracking, 221 Publication specialists, 133 Qualifications: bragging about, 41 excessive, without explanation, 37 Extended Summary of, 189–190, 200 failing to demonstrate, 34 ignoring, 27 lack of, 38, 156 reiterating in thank-you letter, 204, 205, 207–212 screening based on, 76 Recommendations, in marketing package, 156 Record keeping, for job search activities, 154, 156, 219–222, 226 Reference manuals, as job hunting resource, 106, 160 Referrals: in cover letters, 113–116 from informational interviewer, 175 for informational interview request, 174, 186 in self-marketing template letter, 183–185 Relocation: as informational interview purpose, 177 services for, 231 terms of, 215 Research: on corporate cultures, 145, 160 for ex-military personnel, 129 on job openings, 106–107 as job skill, 122

on prospective employers, 29, 51, 117, 145, 226 Results, of previous jobs, 51 Resumé: adapting information from, 51, 53 cover letter references to, 46 cover letter to match, 156 in email attachment, 189, 200 with informational interview request, 174 with prospect letter, 166, 168–169 Return address, format for, 155 Ryan, Robin: career resources from, 231 credentials of, 18 Sabbatical, returning to workforce after, 72, 207 Salary: negotiating, 142, 231 specifying target, 35 Salary history, employer request for, 35, 142 Salutation, form for, 32, 46 Sample cover letters: for accounting manager, 75 for administrative services manager, 88 for broadcast engineering position, 140 for business development specialist, 83 for career changes, 130, 132 for chief financial officer, 68, 103 for client account manager, 195 for controller, 110 for corporate trainer, 56 for creative arts positions, 134 for development director, 136 for director of clinical services, 137 electronic, 194 for executive assistant, 139 for grant administrator, 71 for human resources position, 85 with MBA (negative example), 125 for new graduates, 123, 178 for nonprofit executive director, 64 for program director, 91 for project management, 138 for public relations/media specialist, 94, 141 with referral, 114–116 for salary negotiation, 143 for sales positions, 60, 135 for self-marketing, 162–165 for shopping center manager, 100 targeted to nonprofit organization, 112

237

9413_Ryan/CL_ind.qxd

8/6/02

8:54 AM

Page 238

Index

Sample cover letters (Continued) for vice president of administration, 97 for vice president of manufacturing, 105 with volunteer experience, 120 Screening: by employers, 35, 39, 76, 142, 159, 203, 207 by job hunter, 225 Self-confidence: when unemployed, 226 of women, 52 Self-marketing: in competitive fields, 101, 166–173 via thank-you letter, 205 Self-marketing letters, 159–160 frequency of, 226 function of, 27, 107 information interview request, 173–178 prospect letters, 160–173 tracking, 221 Senior executives, employment prospects for, 65 Signature, appearance of, 30, 31 60 Seconds & You’re Hired! (Ryan), 231 60 Second Sell, 78 Software, compatibility of, 189 Spellcheckers, limitations of, 28 Spelling mistakes, 28 Standard and Poor’s Registry of Corporations, 106 Stationery, for business correspondence, 205 Success stories: Chloe Programs (grant administrator), 69–72 Diane Sales (sales representative), 57–61 Joan Director (non-profit executive director), 61–64 Mary Talker (corporate trainer), 52–57 Richard Cash (chief financial officer), 65–69 Sam Sabbatical (accounting manager), 72–80 Teamwork, desirability of, 51, 122 Termination of employment, 61, 65, 80 Thank-you letters: format for, 205 function of, 203–205 in-depth, 207–212 for informational interviews, 175 samples of, 79, 206, 213, 214 tracking, 221

238

Thomas Registers, 106 Time management: for job hunting, 225 as job skill, 122 Trade magazines, as job hunting resource, 106, 160 Travel, as job requirement, 40 24 Hours to Your Next Job, Raise, or Promotion (Ryan), 78 Typographical errors, 28, 200 Unemployment, job hunting during, 226 Unsubstantiated claims, drawback of, 154 “Valuable contributions” statement, 55–56 Vocabulary, for high impact, 222–223 Volunteer experience, 119–121 Want ads: analyzing, 55, 146, 147 blind, 95 included in cover letter, 43 interpreting, 145 limitations of, 117 percentage of jobs listed, 106, 159 responses to, 38, 72 tracking system for, 221 Websites: job hunting via, 189 of prospective employers, 29, 106 Weekly to-do list, 221, 225 What to Do with the Rest of Your Life (Ryan), 107, 231 Winning Resumés (Ryan), 189, 231 Women: as lacking confidence, 52 workforce reentry by, 119–121 as working mothers, 39 Wordiness, 127 Word list, high-impact, 222–223 Workforce reentry, 72, 119–121, 207 Work gaps, employer view of, 72, 207 Work habits, 122 Work hours, availability for, 39–40 Working mothers, reluctance to hire, 39 Work samples, including in marketing package, 156 Writing ability, 122 Writing process, in Power Impact Technique, 146–154 Yellow Pages, as job hunting resource, 106

9413_Ryan/CL_ata.qxd

8/6/02

8:53 AM

Page 239

About Robin Ryan, Author, National Speaker, and Career Coach Robin Ryan is the prize-winning author of six books including 60 Seconds & You’re Hired!, Winning Resumes, Winning Cover Letters, and What to Do with the Rest of Your Life. Ryan has appeared on more than 700 TV and radio programs including NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw, Oprah, CNN, and CNBC, and appears regularly on Seattle’s KOMO TV and Radio, Bloomberg Radio, and also on Fox TV’s Mornings Live show. A consistent contributor to national magazines and trade publications, she’s been featured in Money, Newsweek, Fortune, Business Week, Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, and McCall’s. She’s appeared on the pages of most major U.S. newspapers including USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Boston Herald, and Chicago Tribune. She has also been a career columnist for The Seattle Times for nearly six years. A licensed vocational counselor for 20 years, Robin Ryan has an active career-counseling practice based in Seattle, where she offers telephone consultations to assist clients with career changing, resumes, job search, interviewing, salary negotiations, and other career issues. Additionally, her work includes outplacement consulting, executive coaching, and spouse relocation advising. Ryan is the creator of the audiotape series The Power of Branding You. She holds a master’s degree in counseling and education from Suffolk University, a bachelor’s degree in sociology from Boston College, and is former director of counseling services at the University of Washington. A popular national speaker, Ryan has taught more than 1,200 seminars and keynote programs, contributing to the career success of millions of people. You can contact Robin Ryan at 425-226-0414. Email: [email protected] Website: www.robinryan.com.